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As at the start of 2003, what is the make and model of the bestselling car of all time? | Top 50: Best Selling Cars Of All Time
Top 50: Best Selling Cars Of All Time
Updated on February 20, 2009
Introduction
With all the millions of cars made and sold over the last 100 years, what are the best selling? This Top 50 has all the biggest sellers from around the world. The info on sales has been found all over the net to compile a current list of the big sellers.
Any car with only one date and a + after the number is currently in production. The Chevrolet Camaro is not as "in production" because it not due out till Spring 09.
50. Peugeot 405 (1988-1997) - 3,461,800
50. Peugeot 405 (1988-1997) - 3,461,800
49. Peugeot 504: (1968-2005) - 3,713,400
49. Peugeot 504: (1968-2005) - 3,713,400
48. Fiat 127: (1971-1983) - 3,750,000
48. Fiat 127: (1971-1983) - 3,750,000
47. Citroen 2CV: (1948-1990) - 3,872,583
47. Citroen 2CV: (1948-1990) - 3,872,583
46. Fiat 500: (1957- ) - 3,900,000+
46. Fiat 500: (1957- ) - 3,900,000+
45. Pontiac Grand Am: (1973-2005) - 4,000,000
45. Pontiac Grand Am: (1973-2005) - 4,000,000
44. Ford Cortina: (1962-1982) - 4,279,079
44. Ford Cortina: (1962-1982) - 4,279,079
43. Ford Model A: (1927-31) - 4,320,446
43. Ford Model A: (1927-31) - 4,320,446
42. Opel Ascona: (1970-1988) - 4,400,000
42. Opel Ascona: (1970-1988) - 4,400,000
41. Fiat 126: (1973-2000) - 4,671,586
41. Fiat 126: (1973-2000) - 4,671,586
40. Chevrolet Camaro: (1967-2002) - 4,800,000
40. Chevrolet Camaro: (1967-2002) - 4,800,000
39. Ford Ranger: (1983- ) - 5,150,000+
39. Ford Ranger: (1983-) - 5,150,000+
38. Ford E-Series: (1961- ) - 5,200,000+
38. Ford E-Series: (1961- ) - 5,200,000+
37. Peugeot 205: (1983-1998) - 5,278,000
37. Peugeot 205: (1983-1998) - 5,278,000
36. Toyota Land Cruiser: (1953- ) - 5,300,000+
36. Toyota Land Cruiser: (1953- ) - 5,300,000+
35. Ford Crown Victoria: (1980- ) - 5,500,000+
35. Ford Crown Victoria: (1980- ) - 5,500,000+
34. Ford Focus: (1998- ) - 5,500,000+
34. Ford Focus: (1998- ) - 5,500,000+
33. Mitsubishi Galant: (1969- ) - 5,550,000+
33. Mitsubishi Galant: (1969- ) - 5,550,000+
32. Ford Explorer: (1991- ) - 5,700,00+
32. Ford Explorer: (1991- ) - 5,700,00+
31. Nissan Sunny: (1966- ) - 5,900,000+
31. Nissan Sunny: (1966- ) - 5,900,000+
30. Buick Le Sabre: (1959-2005) - 6,000,000
30. Buick Le Sabre: (1959-2005) - 6,000,000
29. Peugeot 206: (1998- 2007 ) - 6,100,000
29. Peugeot 206: (1998-2007) - 6,100,000
28. Chevrolet Cavalier: (1982-2005) - 6,200,000
28. Chevrolet Cavalier: (1982-2005) - 6,200,000
27. Vauxhall/Opel Vectra: (1988-2008) - 6,500,000
27. Vauxhall/Opel Vectra: (1988-2008) - 6,500,000
26. BMC/BL/BMW Mini: (1959- ) - 6,700,000+
26. BMC/BL/BMW Mini: (1959- ) - 6,700,000+
25. Ford Taurus: (1986- ) - 6,750,000+
25. Ford Taurus: (1986- ) - 6,750,000+
24. Fiat Punto: (1993- ) - 6,800,000+
24. Fiat Punto: (1993- ) - 6,800,000+
23. Renault 4: (1961-1992) - 8,150,000
23. Renault 4: (1961-1992) - 8,150,000
22. Ford Mustang: (1964- ) - 8,300,000+
22. Ford Mustang: (1964- ) - 8,300,000+
21. Renault 5: (1972-1996) - 8,800,000
21. Renault 5: (1972-1996) - 8,800,000
20. Renault Clio: (1991- ) - 8,900,000+
20. Renault Clio: (1991- ) - 8,900,000+
19. Fiat Uno: (1983- ) - 9,150,000+
19. Fiat Uno: (1983- ) - 9,150,000+
18. BMW 3-Series: (1977- ) - 9,800,000+
18. BMW 3-Series: (1977- ) - 9,800,000+
17. Vauxhall/Opel Astra: (1991- ) - 10,000,000+
17. Vauxhall/Opel Astra: (1991- ) - 10,000,000+
16. Mazda 323: (1963-2003) - 10,480,000
16. Mazda 323: (1963-2003) - 10,480,000
15. Toyota Camry: (1983- ) - 10,500,000+
15. Toyota Camry: (1983- ) - 10,500,000+
14. Chrysler Voyager: (1984- ) - 11,700,000+
14. Chrysler Voyager: (1984- ) - 11,700,000+
13. Oldsmobile Cutlass: (1961-99) - 11,900,000
13. Oldsmobile Cutlass: (1961-99) - 11,900,000
12. Vauxhall/Opel Corsa: (1982- ) - 12,000,000+
12. Vauxhall/Opel Corsa: (1982- ) - 12,000,000+
11. Ford Fiesta: (1976- ) - 12,500,000+
11. Ford Fiesta: (1976- ) - 12,500,000+
10. Chevrolet Impala: (1958- ) - 14,000,000+
10. Chevrolet Impala: (1958- ) - 14,000,000+
9. Volkswagen Passat: (1973- ) - 14,100,000+
9. Volkswagen Passat: (1973- ) - 14,100,000+
8. Honda Accord: (1976- ) - 15,800,000+
8. Honda Accord: (1976- ) - 15,800,000+
7. Ford Model T: (1908-1927) - 16,500,000+
7. Ford Model T: (1908-1927) - 16,500,000+
6. Honda Civic: (1972- ) - 17,730,000+
6. Honda Civic: (1972- ) - 17,730,000+
5. Ford Escort: (1968-2000) - 20,000,000
5. Ford Escort: (1968-2000) - 20,000,000
4. Volkswagen Beetle: (1938- ) - 22,300,000+
4. Volkswagen Beetle: (1938- ) - 22,300,000+
3. Volkswagen Golf:(1974- ) - 25,000,000+
2. Ford F-Series: (1948- ) - 30,000,000+
2. Ford F-Series: (1948- ) - 30,000,000+
And The Most Sold Car In The World Is...
The Toyota Corolla. Over the last 45 years Japanese car maker Toyota have manufactured a record 32 Million Cars! It's always been a small family car. Cheap to buy and cheap to run worked well for Toyota over the last 45 years, and even with all the problems with the car industry at the moment, don't expect to hear of this little record breakers reign coming to an end anytime soon.
1. Toyota Corolla: (1966- ) - 32,000,000+
1. Toyota Corolla: (1966- ) - 32,000,000+
Have You Ever Owned One?
Have you ever owned one?
Yes 1-3
The hall of fame from the Porsche catalogue spanning back over 50 years.
95
Take a look back over the years and and enjoy the top 50 most memorable cars made famous by their role on the silver screen.
23
| Toyota Corolla |
The prancing horse is the symbol of which racing car? | Top 5 World’s Most Successful Cars Ever
Top 5 World’s Most Successful Cars Ever
Featured
on 09/01/2006
Success in car industry is measured only through results of sale, although in the last decade this criterion started to lose value as well. Increased competition and lowered profitability resulted in continuous losses per sold car recorded by the leading car makers. It was caused by multiple reasons – from expensive labor and costs of restructuring to manufacturing deficiencies caused by trying to present the whole range of new cars as soon as possible, which inevitably led to many withdrawals and expensive corrections of the cars. Still, some cars gained the buyers’ trust all around the world. Different generations of cars such as Toyota Corolla, Volkswagen Golf or Honda Civic became more and more popular and sold in higher quantities.
5. Ford Model T
With 16,500,000 sold cars, T model is the second best selling car in the world, but also much more than that. This is the first car manufactured by the so called assembly line manufacturing, which simplified the car making, and more importantly, made it cheaper and started more massive production. The famous line of the founder Henry Ford refers to T model: “Any customer can have a car painted any color that he wants so long as it is black” since, due to express production, no other color could dry as fast as black.
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Henry Ford: ‘Any customer can have a car painted any color that he wants so long as it is black.'
4. Volkswagen Beetle
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Volkswagen Beetle – By far the best selling car in the world with the same body for almost 60 years
Volkswagen’s Beetle is the best selling car in history. Legend has it that Adolf Hitler himself drew its legendary shape on a paper towel. During almost 60 years, the incredible 21,529,464 Beetles were produced, which is particularly significant when taking into account the fact that during 60 years the Beetle had the same car body, with some mechanical changes. The original form of the Beetle was produced until 2003, when the last car left the Volkswagen factory in Mexico.
3. Volkswagen Golf
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Although ultra popular in Europe, Volkswagen’s Golf is lower ranked on the most important market, the North American one
Third ranked is second of two Volkswagens - Golf, which gained in popularity on a global scale through five generations, and to the present more than 24 million cars have been sold. The latest Volkswagen generation will once more try to win the American market, and its advantage is the fact that the American buyers are more and more oriented towards buying more cost-effective cars. Golf has been produced since 1974, and its sports GTI version recently celebrated its 30th birthday.
2. Ford - F series
Click to enlarge
Believe it or not, every year the F Ford model is sold more than any other car
It is almost unbelievable that the second ranked in total sale is a pick-up vehicle. Even more impressive information is that this vehicle reached such a score only on North American territory. However, the most surprising is the fact that Ford’s F series is at present the best selling car in the world. Every year Ford sells almost a million cars, that is almost one vehicle every 30 seconds. So far, 25 million vehicles of the F series were sold.
1. Toyota Corolla
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Toyota Corolla is the best-selling nameplate in automotive history
The making of Corolla started in 1966 when Japanese manufacturer decided to present a small compact car which integrates quality, style and cost-effectiveness of more prestigious models. During 40 years Corolla had as many as nine generations, and in 1997 it was the best selling car of all time. To the present day more than 35 million vehicles were sold and we can expect it to stay on the top in the future.
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Who designed the first modern petrol-driven internal combustion engine for the car? | Who Invented the Car? - History of the Automobile
Who Invented the Car?
A Frenchmen made the first automobile, but its evolution was a worldwide effort.
History of Cars. Gaetty Images
By Mary Bellis
Updated July 01, 2016.
The very first self-powered road vehicles were powered by steam engines and by that definition Nicolas Joseph Cugnot of France built the first automobile in 1769 - recognized by the British Royal Automobile Club and the Automobile Club de France as being the first. So why do so many history books say that the automobile was invented by either Gottlieb Daimler or Karl Benz? It is because both Daimler and Benz invented highly successful and practical gasoline-powered vehicles that ushered in the age of modern automobiles. Daimler and Benz invented cars that looked and worked like the cars we use today. However, it is unfair to say that either man invented "the" automobile.
History of the Internal Combustion Engine - The Heart of the Automobile
An internal combustion engine is any engine that uses the explosive combustion of fuel to push a piston within a cylinder - the piston's movement turns a crankshaft that then turns the car wheels via a chain or a drive shaft.
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The different types of fuel commonly used for car combustion engines are gasoline (or petrol), diesel, and kerosene.
A brief outline of the history of the internal combustion engine includes the following highlights:
1680 - Dutch physicist, Christian Huygens designed (but never built) an internal combustion engine that was to be fueled with gunpowder.
1807 - Francois Isaac de Rivaz of Switzerland invented an internal combustion engine that used a mixture of hydrogen and oxygen for fuel. Rivaz designed a car for his engine - the first internal combustion powered automobile. However, his was a very unsuccessful design.
1824 - English engineer, Samuel Brown adapted an old Newcomen steam engine to burn gas, and he used it to briefly power a vehicle up Shooter's Hill in London.
1858 - Belgian-born engineer, Jean JosephÉtienne Lenoir invented and patented (1860) a double-acting, electric spark-ignition internal combustion engine fueled by coal gas. In 1863, Lenoir attached an improved engine (using petroleum and a primitive carburetor) to a three-wheeled wagon that managed to complete an historic fifty-mile road trip. (See image at top)
1862 - Alphonse Beau de Rochas, a French civil engineer, patented but did not build a four-stroke engine (French patent #52,593, January 16, 1862).
1864 - Austrian engineer, Siegfried Marcus *, built a one-cylinder engine with a crude carburetor, and attached his engine to a cart for a rocky 500-foot drive. Several years later, Marcus designed a vehicle that briefly ran at 10 mph that a few historians have considered as the forerunner of the modern automobile by being the world's first gasoline-powered vehicle (however, read conflicting notes below).
1873 - George Brayton, an American engineer, developed an unsuccessful two-stroke kerosene engine (it used two external pumping cylinders). However, it was considered the first safe and practical oil engine.
1866 - German engineers, Eugen Langen and Nikolaus August Otto improved on Lenoir's and de Rochas' designs and invented a more efficient gas engine.
1876 - Nikolaus August Otto invented and later patented a successful four-stroke engine, known as the "Otto cycle".
1876 - The first successful two-stroke engine was invented by Sir Dougald Clerk.
1883 - French engineer, Edouard Delamare-Debouteville, built a single-cylinder four-stroke engine that ran on stove gas. It is not certain if he did indeed build a car, however, Delamare-Debouteville's designs were very advanced for the time - ahead of both Daimler and Benz in some ways at least on paper.
1885 - Gottlieb Daimler invented what is often recognized as the prototype of the modern gas engine - with a vertical cylinder, and with gasoline injected through a carburetor (patented in 1887). Daimler first built a two-wheeled vehicle the "Reitwagen" (Riding Carriage) with this engine and a year later built the world's first four-wheeled motor vehicle.
1886 - On January 29, Karl Benz received the first patent (DRP No. 37435) for a gas-fueled car.
1889 - Daimler built an improved four-stroke engine with mushroom-shaped valves and two V-slant cylinders.
1890 - Wilhelm Maybach built the first four-cylinder, four-stroke engine.
Further Reading - The Mechanics of Internal Combustion Engines - What is a 2-stroke? 4-stroke?
Engine design and car design were integral activities, almost all of the engine designers mentioned above also designed cars, and a few went on to become major manufacturers of automobiles. All of these inventors and more made notable improvements in the evolution of the internal combustion vehicles.
The Importance of Nicolaus Otto
One of the most important landmarks in engine design comes from Nicolaus August Otto who in 1876 invented an effective gas motor engine. Otto built the first practical four-stroke internal combustion engine called the "Otto Cycle Engine," and as soon as he had completed his engine, he built it into a motorcycle. Otto's contributions were very historically significant, it was his four-stoke engine that was universally adopted for all liquid-fueled automobiles going forward. (Learn more about Nicolaus Otto )
The Importance of Karl Benz
In 1885, German mechanical engineer, Karl Benz designed and built the world's first practical automobile to be powered by an internal-combustion engine. On January 29, 1886, Benz received the first patent (DRP No. 37435) for a gas-fueled car. It was a three-wheeler; Benz built his first four-wheeled car in 1891. Benz & Cie., the company started by the inventor, became the world's largest manufacturer of automobiles by 1900. Benz was the first inventor to integrate an internal combustion engine with a chassis - designing both together. (Learn more about Karl Benz )
The Importance of Gottlieb Daimler
In 1885, Gottlieb Daimler (together with his design partner Wilhelm Maybach) took Otto's internal combustion engine a step further and patented what is generally recognized as the prototype of the modern gas engine. Daimler's connection to Otto was a direct one; Daimler worked as technical director of Deutz Gasmotorenfabrik, which Nikolaus Otto co-owned in 1872. There is some controversy as to who built the first motorcycle Otto or Daimler.
The 1885 Daimler-Maybach engine was small, lightweight, fast, used a gasoline-injected carburetor, and had a vertical cylinder. The size, speed, and efficiency of the engine allowed for a revolution in car design. On March 8, 1886, Daimler took a stagecoach and adapted it to hold his engine, thereby designing the world's first four-wheeled automobile. Daimler is considered the first inventor to have invented a practical internal-combustion engine.
In 1889, Daimler invented a V-slanted two cylinder, four-stroke engine with mushroom-shaped valves. Just like Otto's 1876 engine, Daimler's new engine set the basis for all car engines going forward. Also in 1889, Daimler and Maybach built their first automobile from the ground up, they did not adapt another purpose vehicle as they had always been done previously. The new Daimler automobile had a four-speed transmission and obtained speeds of 10 mph.
Daimler founded the Daimler Motoren-Gesellschaft in 1890 to manufacture his designs. Eleven years later, Wilhelm Maybach designed the Mercedes automobile. (Learn more about Gottlieb Daimler & Wilhelm Maybach )
*If Siegfried Marcus built his second car in 1875 and it was as claimed, it would have been the first vehicle powered by a four-cycle engine and the first to use gasoline as a fuel, the first having a carburetor for a gasoline engine and the first having a magneto ignition. However, the only existing evidence indicates that the vehicle was built circa 1888/89 - too late to be first.
By the early 1900s, gasoline cars started to outsell all other types of motor vehicles. The market was growing for economical automobiles and the need for industrial production was pressing.
The first car manufacturers in the world were French: Panhard & Levassor (1889) and Peugeot (1891). By car manufacturer we mean builders of entire motor vehicles for sale and not just engine inventors who experimented with car design to test their engines - Daimler and Benz began as the latter before becoming full car manufacturers and made their early money by licensing their patents and selling their engines to car manufacturers.
Rene Panhard and Emile Levassor
Rene Panhard and Emile Levassor were partners in a woodworking machinery business, when they decided to become car manufacturers. They built their first car in 1890 using a Daimler engine. Edouard Sarazin, who held the license rights to the Daimler patent for France, commissioned the team. (Licensing a patent means that you pay a fee and then you have the right to build and use someone's invention for profit - in this case Sarazin had the right to build and sell Daimler engines in France.) The partners not only manufactured cars, they made improvements to the automotive body design.
Panhard-Levassor made vehicles with a pedal-operated clutch, a chain transmission leading to a change-speed gearbox, and a front radiator. Levassor was the first designer to move the engine to the front of the car and use a rear-wheel drive layout. This design was known as the Systeme Panhard and quickly became the standard for all cars because it gave a better balance and improved steering. Panhard and Levassor are also credited with the invention of the modern transmission - installed in their 1895 Panhard.
Panhard and Levassor also shared the licensing rights to Daimler motors with Armand Peugot. A Peugot car went on to win the first car race held in France, which gained Peugot publicity and boosted car sales. Ironically, the "Paris to Marseille" race of 1897 resulted in a fatal auto accident, killing Emile Levassor. (Learn more about Panhard and Levassor )
Early on, French manufacturers did not standardize car models - each car was different from the other. The first standardized car was the 1894, Benz Velo. One hundred and thirty four identical Velos were manufactured in 1895.
Charles and Frank Duryea
America's first gasoline-powered commercial car manufacturers were Charles and Frank Duryea. The brothers were bicycle makers who became interested in gasoline engines and automobiles and built their first motor vehicle in 1893, in Springfield, Massachusetts. By 1896, the Duryea Motor Wagon Company had sold thirteen models of the Duryea, an expensive limousine, which remained in production into the 1920s. (Learn more about Charles and Frank Duryea )
Ransome Eli Olds
The first automobile to be mass produced in the United States was the 1901, Curved Dash Oldsmobile, built by the American car manufacturer Ransome Eli Olds (1864-1950). Olds invented the basic concept of the assembly line and started the Detroit area automobile industry. He first began making steam and gasoline engines with his father, Pliny Fisk Olds, in Lansing, Michigan in 1885. Olds designed his first steam-powered car in 1887. In 1899, with a growing experience of gasoline engines, Olds moved to Detroit to start the Olds Motor Works, and produce low-priced cars. He produced 425 "Curved Dash Olds" in 1901, and was America's leading auto manufacturer from 1901 to 1904.
Henry Ford
American car manufacturer, Henry Ford (1863-1947) invented an improved assembly line and installed the first conveyor belt-based assembly line in his car factory in Ford's Highland Park, Michigan plant, around 1913-14. The assembly line reduced production costs for cars by reducing assembly time. Ford's famous Model T was assembled in ninety-three minutes. Ford made his first car, called the "Quadricycle," in June, 1896. However, success came after he formed the Ford Motor Company in 1903. This was the third car manufacturing company formed to produce the cars he designed. He introduced the Model T in 1908 and it was a success. After installing the moving assembly lines in his factory in 1913, Ford became the world's biggest car manufacturer. By 1927, 15 million Model Ts had been manufactured.
Another victory won by Henry Ford was patent battle with George B. Selden. Selden, who had never built an automobile, held a patent on a "road engine", on that basis Selden was paid royalties by all American car manufacturers. Ford overturned Selden's patent and opened the American car market for the building of inexpensive cars. (Learn more about Henry Ford )
| Gottlieb Daimler |
What make of car featured in the film Back To The Future? | Karl Benz Invents First Practical Automobile
By Mary Bellis
Updated August 22, 2016.
In 1885, German mechanical engineer, Karl Benz designed and built the world's first practical automobile to be powered by an internal-combustion engine. On January 29, 1886, Benz received the first patent (DRP No. 37435) for a gas-fueled car. It was a three-wheeler, the Motorwagen or Benz Patent Motorcar.
Benz built his first four-wheeled car in 1891. Benz & Company, the company, started by the inventor, became the world's largest manufacturer of automobiles by 1900. He also was the first legally licensed driver in the world, having one issued by the Grand Duke of Baden.
Biography of Karl Benz
Karl Friedrich Benz was born in 1844 in Baden Muehlburg, Germany (now part of Karlsruhe). He was the son of a locomotive engine driver who died when Benz was only two years old. His mother ensured he got a good education despite their limited means. Benz attended the Karlsruhe grammar school and later the Karlsruhe Polytechnic University. He studied mechanical engineering at the University of Karlsruhe and graduated in 1864 when he was only 19 years old.
In 1871, He founded his first company with partner August Ritter, the "Iron Foundry and Machine Shop" a supplier of building materials. He married Bertha Ringer in 1872, who played an active role in his business, including buying out his partner, who had become unreliable.
Developing the Motorwagen
Benz began his work on a two-stroke engine, in hopes of finding a new income. He received his first patent in 1879. He had to invent many parts of the system as he went along, including the throttle, ignition, spark plugs, carburetor, clutch, radiator, and gear shift.
In 1883, he founded Benz & Company to produce industrial engines in Mannheim, Germany. He then began designing a "motor carriage", with a four-stroke engine (based on Nicolaus Otto's patent). Benz designed his engine (958cc, 0.75hp) and the body for the three-wheel vehicle with an electric ignition, differential gears, and water-cooling.
The car was first driven in Mannheim in 1885. In one trial, it achieved the speed of eight miles per hour. On January 29, 1886, he was granted a patent for his gas-fueled automobile (DRP 37435) and in July, he began selling his automobile to the public. Parisian bicycle-maker Emile Roger added them to his line and sold them there, becoming the first commercially-available automobile.
Bertha took the Motorwagen on a historic 66-mile trip from Mannheim to Pforzheim to show its practicality for families. Gasoline had to be bought at pharmacies, and she had to repair several malfunctions. An annual antique auto rally is now held yearly in her honor on this, the Bertha Benz Memorial Route. Her experience led to adding gears for climbing hills and brake pads.
Further Inventions and Firsts of Karl Benz
In 1893, the Benz Velo became the world's first inexpensive, mass-produced car, with 1200 produced. It participated in the world's first automobile race in 1894, although it only achieved 14th place. Benz designed the first truck in 1895 and the first motor bus. He patented the boxer flat engine design in 1896.
In 1903, Karl Benz retired from Benz & Company; his designs were already outdated by Gottlieb Daimler . He served as a member of the supervisory board of Daimler-Benz AG from 1926, when the company was formed, until his death. Together, Bertha and Karl had five children. Karl Benz passed away in 1929.
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In which country was the first Audi made? | Audi History | Classic Audi Models | Audi USA
Audi history
A symbol of progressive engineeringThe four rings
It's one of the most multi-faceted stories ever told in the history of the automobile. The Audi emblem with its four rings identifies one of Germany’s oldest-established automobile manufacturers. It symbolizes the amalgamation in 1932 of four previously independent motor-vehicle manufacturers: Audi, DKW, Horch and Wanderer. These companies form the roots of what is today AUDI AG.
Pioneering Audi visionaryAugust Horch
The story of Audi began in 1899 August Horch founded Horch & Cie. in Cologne. It was there that he helped build his first car. After differences of opinion with the board, August Horch left the company and formed a second car company. Because his surname was already in use and was protected by trademark, he chose its Latin translation for the new company. So "horch!" – or "hark" – became "audi!". It was a brilliant idea that came from the son of one of August Horch's business partners.
Thanks to his victorious involvement in the Austrian Alpine Runs, August Horch succeeded in making Audi internationally known in just a few years. After the First World War, August Horch withdrew from the company and moved to Berlin to work as an independent automotive expert.
A legend, condensedAudi highlights
Take a trip through the storied past of Audi and learn about everything from the production of the first left hand drive vehicle to the invention of legendary Audi quattro® all-wheel drive. Soon, you'll understand why Audi is one of the most hallowed names in any industry.
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Behind U.S.A. which country has the second longest road network in the world? | History of the Four Rings--Part 1--Audi Auto Union
Audi Official History--Copyright Audi AG
AUDI AG can look back on a multi-faceted history that has seen considerable change; its tradition in the manufacturing of cars and motorcycles stretches back to before the turn of the century. The marques which were originally all based in Saxony � Audi and Horch in Zwickau, Wanderer in Chemnitz-Siegmar and DKW in Zschopau � made a significant contribution to the progress of the automotive industry in Germany. These four marques merged in 1932 to form Auto Union AG. In terms of the sheer number of vehicles built, this was the second-largest motor vehicle company of its day. Four interlinked rings were adopted as its marque emblem. After the Second World War, Auto Union AG's production plant in Saxony was expropriated and dismantled by the occupying Soviet forces.
A number of the company's senior managers departed for Bavaria, where a new company under the name of Auto Union GmbH was founded in 1949 in Ingolstadt, upholding the motor vehicle tradition under the sign of the four rings.
Auto Union GmbH and NSU merged in 1969 to form Audi NSU Auto Union AG; this the company was renamed AUDI AG in 1985 and its headquarters transferred to Ingolstadt. The four rings remains the company's emblem to this day.
Horch
August Horch, one of the pioneering figures of Germany's automotive industry, was the figure behind this company. A graduate of the Technical College in the town of Mittweida, Saxony, he originally worked in engine construction at Carl Benz in Mannheim, gradually working his way up to the position of head of motor vehicle construction. In 1899 he decided to set up business on his own, and founded Horch & Cie. in Cologne. He was the first in Germany to use cast aluminium for his cars' engines and gearbox housings, a cardan shaft served as the power transmission element, and the gearwheels were of high-strength steel. In 1902 he moved to Reichenbach in Saxony, then on to Zwickau in 1904. Cars with two-cylinder engines were built from 1903, with four-cylinder versions being added after the start of the company's operations in Zwickau. Their performance was so impressive that a Horch car triumphed in the 1906 Herkomer Run, the world's most arduous long-distance race. Two years on, the company recorded annual sales of over 100 cars for the first time.
After a disagreement with the board of directors and the supervisory board, in 1909 August Horch quit the company he had founded, without delay setting up another motor vehicle company in Zwickau. As his name was already in use by the original company and had been registered as a trademark, he arrived at the name of the new company by translating his name, which means "hark!", "listen!", into Latin: Audi.
August Horch moved to Berlin in the 1920s and was appointed a member of the supervisory board of Auto Union AG in 1932, continuing to be involved in the company's technical development work mainly in his capacity as expert. In 1944 he moved from Berlin to the Saale region. Horch spent his final years in M�nchberg, Upper Franconia, where he died in 1951 at the age of 83.
August Horch demonstrated hands-on involvement in the development of the motor car from its very earliest days. His principal legacy is that his technical innovations, coupled with his remarkable resolve, paved the way for the transformation of the early motor vehicle into the car as we know it.
The company which still bore the name Horch originally adhered to a range of model types, the structure of which was still the one created by the company's founder. After the First World War, the aircraft engine company Argus-Werke, acquired a majority interest in Horch. Two of the most renowned engineers, Arnold Zoller and subsequently Paul Daimler, son of Gottlieb Daimler, were thus elevated to the rank of chief designers for Horch-Werke's operations in Zwickau.
In autumn 1926, Horch-Werke unveiled a new model driven by an eight-cylinder inline engine created by Paul Daimler. This engine was notable for its reliability and refinement, and set the standard which all competitors sought to emulate. The Horch 8 became synonymous with elegance, luxury and superlative standards in automotive construction.
In autumn 1931, Horch-Werke of Zwickau launched its newest top product at the Paris Motor Show: a sports convertible with twelve-cylinder engine, painted brilliant yellow, with a brown soft top and upholstered in green leather. Between 1932 and 1934, only 80 of this exclusive Horch were sold. The market for such luxury cars slumped. Horch was the clear market leader in the entire deluxe class and it sold one-third more cars than its competitors; for instance, Horch sold 773 cars in Germany in 1932 and was able to export around 300. However, this was not enough. The company encountered financial difficulties, mainly due to the financing of its sales operations.
Audi
Following August Horch's departure from Horch-Werke AG in 1909, he set up another factory which was likewise to manufacture automobiles. As Horch was not allowed to use his own name for this second company, he took the Latin translation of his name, which means "hark!", "listen!", and gave his new Zwickau-based company the name Audi. In 1910, the first new cars with the brand name Audi appeared on the market. They earned particular acclaim for an unparalleled string of victories between 1912 and 1914 in the International Austrian Alpine Run, generally acknowledged to be the most difficult long-distance race in the world. After the First World War, Audi distinguished itself by becoming the first brand to position the steering wheel of its production cars on the left and to move the gear lever to the centre of the car. This resulted in much easier operation.
1923 was the year in which Audi's first six-cylinder model made its appearance. This car had an oil-wetted air cleaner, at that time definitely the exception. It was years before the air cleaner became a standard feature on all cars. This Audi also boasted one of the first hydraulic four-wheel brake systems to be used in Germany, designed and built by the company itself. In 1927, chief designer Heinrich Schuh brought the first Audi eight-cylinder model, known as the "Imperator", onto the market. Unfortunately, this imposing car made its appearance too late: the deluxe car market was suffering a rapid decline in fortunes. The company was purchased in 1928 by J�rgen Skafte Rasmussen, the figure behind the mighty DKW empire.
DKW
Jorgen Skafte Rasmussen, a Dane by birth, established his first company in Saxony after studying Engineering in Mittweida. In 1904 he set up an apparatus engineering company in Chemnitz, three years later moving to Zschopau, in the Erzgebirge region, where he began to experiment with steam-driven motor vehicles in 1916. Although these experiments did not lead to any specific product, they yielded the company name and trademark DKW, derived from the German words for "steam-driven vehicle" (Dampf Kraft Wagen). In 1919, Rasmussen obtained the design of a two-stroke engine from Hugo Ruppe, a tiny version of which he sold as a toy engine under the name of "Des Knaben Wunsch", meaning "The Boy's Dream". This mini engine was subsequently upscaled and used as an auxiliary cycle engine, evolving into a fully-fledged motorcycle engine called "Das Kleine Wunder" (The Little Miracle" in 1922. Under the watchful eye of J. S. Rasmussen (together with manager Carl Hahn and chief designer Hermann Weber), DKW became the biggest motorcycle manufacturer in the world in the 1920s. DKW also enjoyed a leading international position as an engine manufacturer.
In 1927, Rasmussen had acquired design and production facilities for six- and eight-cylinder engines from a Detroit automobile company which had been wound up. Two new Audi models powered by these engines appeared on the market. However, Rasmussen recognized the signs of the times and stepped up his activities in small cars. The very first DKW cars actually had rear-wheel drive and were built in Berlin-Spandau. At the end of 1930, Rasmussen commissioned the Zwickau plant to develop a car having the following design features: a two-cylinder, two-stroke motorcycle engine with a swept volume of 600 cc, a unitary wooden chassis with leatherette upholstery, swing axles at the front and rear, and front-wheel drive. The car which Audi designers Walter Haustein and Oskar Arlt came up with was given the name DKW Front. It was unveiled at the 1931 Berlin Motor Show, where it caused something of a sensation. The DKW Front was built at the Audi factory, and went on to become the most-produced, most popular German small car of its day.
Wanderer
The name "Wanderer" dates back to 1896, when its fame was associated with the bicycles built by Winklhofer & Jaenicke, a company founded in 1885 in Chemnitz. Production of motorcycles commenced in 1902, and the first trial production of motor cars took place in 1904. A small car under the name of "Puppchen" went into series production in 1913, and proved very popular. No higher-performance successor appeared until 1926, when the Wanderer Type W 10 with 1.5 litre engine and developing 30 hp made its d�but. This car incorporated all the latest developments in the world of automotive engineering, such as left-hand drive and a central gear lever, a multiple dry-plate clutch, a unitary engine block and gearbox, and a four-wheel brake system. This car met with an excellent market reception.
To cope with the overwhelming demand, a new production plant was built in the Chemnitz suburb of Siegmar. Parts continued to be produced at the existing factory, and were then transferred to the other plant by rail. Individual parts and assemblies were unloaded directly from the rail wagons onto the assembly line: just-in-time methods at the end of the 1920s!
The buffer store in Siegmar had capacity for parts for only 25 cars � as many as could be built in a single day.
Wanderer's marque image was characterized by its extremely reliable cars and by their outstanding manufactured quality. Such excellence had its price, however, and at the end of the 1920s Wanderer attempted to stem the looming crisis with more modern body designs and higher-performance engines. Despite these innovations, production figures slumped. Wanderer's car production operations fell into the red. The entire motorcycles division had already been sold off to NSU and the Czech company Janecek. This prompted Dresdner Bank, Wanderer's largest shareholder, to promote plans to sell off the automotive division and to expand the profitable machine tools and office machinery operations.
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According to the Highway Code, passengers of what age and above are responsible for themselves wearing a seatbelt? | Rules for drivers and motorcyclists (89 to 102) - The Highway Code - Guidance - GOV.UK
Rules for drivers and motorcyclists (89 to 102)
Rules for drivers and motorcyclists (89 to 102)
The Highway Code rules for drivers and motorcyclists, including vehicle condition, fitness to drive, alcohol and drugs, what to do before setting off, vehicle towing and loading and seat belts and child restraints.
Vehicle condition (rule 89)
Rule 89
Vehicle condition. You MUST ensure your vehicle and trailer comply with the full requirements of the Road Vehicles (Construction and Use) Regulations and Road Vehicles Lighting Regulations (see ‘ The road user and the law ’).
Fitness to drive (rules 90 to 94)
Rule 90
Make sure that you are fit to drive. You MUST report to the Driver and Vehicle Licensing Agency (DVLA) any health condition likely to affect your driving.
Rule 91
Driving when you are tired greatly increases your risk of collision. To minimise this risk
make sure you are fit to drive. Do not begin a journey if you are tired. Get a good night’s sleep before embarking on a long journey
avoid undertaking long journeys between midnight and 6 am, when natural alertness is at a minimum
plan your journey to take sufficient breaks. A minimum break of at least 15 minutes after every two hours of driving is recommended
if you feel at all sleepy, stop in a safe place. Do not stop on the hard shoulder of a motorway
the most effective ways to counter sleepiness are to drink, for example, two cups of caffeinated coffee and to take a short nap (at least 15 minutes)
Rule 92
Vision. You MUST be able to read a vehicle number plate, in good daylight, from a distance of 20 metres (or 20.5 metres where the old style number plate is used). If you need to wear glasses (or contact lenses) to do this, you MUST wear them at all times while driving. The police have the power to require a driver to undertake an eyesight test.
Slow down, and if necessary stop, if you are dazzled by bright sunlight.
Rule 94
At night or in poor visibility, do not use tinted glasses, lenses or visors if they restrict your vision.
Alcohol and drugs (rules 95 to 96)
Rule 95
Do not drink and drive as it will seriously affect your judgement and abilities.
In England and Wales you MUST NOT drive with a breath alcohol level higher than 35 microgrammes/100 millilitres of breath or a blood alcohol level of more than 80 milligrammes/100 millilitres of blood.
In Scotland the legal limits are lower. You MUST NOT drive with a breath alcohol level higher than 22 microgrammes/100 millilitres of breath or a blood alcohol level of more than 50 milligrammes/100 millilitres of blood.
Alcohol will
give a false sense of confidence
reduce co-ordination and slow down reactions
affect judgement of speed, distance and risk
reduce your driving ability, even if you’re below the legal limit
take time to leave your body; you may be unfit to drive in the evening after drinking at lunchtime, or in the morning after drinking the previous evening.
The best solution is not to drink at all when planning to drive because any amount of alcohol affects your ability to drive safely. If you are going to drink, arrange another means of transport.
Laws RTA 1988 sects 4 , 5 & 11(2) , & PLSR
Rule 96
You MUST NOT drive under the influence of drugs or medicine. For medicines, check with your doctor or pharmacist and do not drive if you are advised that you may be impaired.
You MUST NOT drive if you have illegal drugs or certain medicines in your blood above specified limits. It is highly dangerous so never take illegal drugs if you intend to drive; the effects are unpredictable, but can be even more severe than alcohol and result in fatal or serious road crashes. Illegal drugs have been specified at very low levels so even small amounts of use could be above the specified limits. The limits for certain medicines have been specified at higher levels, above the levels generally found in the blood of patients who have taken normal therapeutic doses. If you are found to have a concentration of a drug above its specified limit in your blood because you have been prescribed or legitimately supplied a particularly high dose of medicine, then you can raise a statutory medical defence, provided your driving was not impaired by the medicine you are taking.
Before setting off (rule 97)
Rule 97
Before setting off. You should ensure that
you have planned your route and allowed sufficient time
clothing and footwear do not prevent you using the controls in the correct manner
you know where all the controls are and how to use them before you need them. Not all vehicles are the same; do not wait until it is too late to find out
your mirrors and seat are adjusted correctly to ensure comfort, full control and maximum vision
head restraints are properly adjusted to reduce the risk of neck and spine injuries in the event of a collision
you have sufficient fuel before commencing your journey, especially if it includes motorway driving. It can be dangerous to lose power when driving in traffic
ensure your vehicle is legal and roadworthy
switch off your mobile phone.
Rule 97: Make sure head restraints are properly adjusted
Vehicle towing and loading (rule 98)
Rule 98
Vehicle towing and loading. As a driver
you MUST NOT tow more than your licence permits. If you passed a car test after 1 Jan 1997 you are restricted on the weight of trailer you can tow
you MUST NOT overload your vehicle or trailer. You should not tow a weight greater than that recommended by the manufacturer of your vehicle
you MUST secure your load and it MUST NOT stick out dangerously. Make sure any heavy or sharp objects and any animals are secured safely. If there is a collision, they might hit someone inside the vehicle and cause serious injury
you should properly distribute the weight in your caravan or trailer with heavy items mainly over the axle(s) and ensure a downward load on the tow ball. Manufacturer’s recommended weight and tow ball load should not be exceeded. This should avoid the possibility of swerving or snaking and going out of control. If this does happen, ease off the accelerator and reduce speed gently to regain control
carrying a load or pulling a trailer may require you to adjust the headlights.
In the event of a breakdown, be aware that towing a vehicle on a tow rope is potentially dangerous. You should consider professional recovery.
Seat belts and child restraints (rules 99 to 102)
Rule 99
You MUST wear a seat belt in cars, vans and other goods vehicles if one is fitted (see table below). Adults, and children aged 14 years and over, MUST use a seat belt or child restraint, where fitted, when seated in minibuses, buses and coaches. Exemptions are allowed for the holders of medical exemption certificates and those making deliveries or collections in goods vehicles when travelling less than 50 metres (approx 162 feet).
Seat belt requirements. This table summarises the main legal requirements for wearing seat belts in cars, vans and other goods vehicles.
Adult passengers aged 14 and over
Seat belt MUST be worn if available
Seat belt MUST be worn if available
Passenger
Rule 100
The driver MUST ensure that all children under 14 years of age in cars, vans and other goods vehicles wear seat belts or sit in an approved child restraint where required (see table above). If a child is under 1.35 metres (approx 4 feet 5 inches) tall, a baby seat, child seat, booster seat or booster cushion MUST be used suitable for the child’s weight and fitted to the manufacturer’s instructions.
Rule 100: Make sure that a child uses a suitable restraint which is correctly adjusted
Rule 101
A rear-facing baby seat MUST NOT be fitted into a seat protected by an active frontal airbag, as in a crash it can cause serious injury or death to the child.
Laws RTA 1988 sects 14 & 15 , MV(WSB)R , MV(WSBCFS)R & MV(WSB)(A)R
Rule 102
Children in cars, vans and other goods vehicles. Drivers who are carrying children in cars, vans and other goods vehicles should also ensure that
children should get into the vehicle through the door nearest the kerb
child restraints are properly fitted to manufacturer’s instructions
children do not sit behind the rear seats in an estate car or hatchback, unless a special child seat has been fitted
the child safety door locks, where fitted, are used when children are in the vehicle
children are kept under control.
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What was the name of the Volkswagen Beetle which made it's first appearance in The Love Bug? | Road Safety FAQs
Q33) How can I prepare for winter driving conditions?
A1) There were 1,730 people killed in road accidents reported to the police in 2015. This is a decrease of 3 per cent compared to the 1,775 deaths reported in 2014. This is the second lowest annual total on record after 2013. There were 45 per cent fewer fatalities in 2015 than a decade earlier in 2006.
The number of people seriously injured in reported road traffic accidents decreased by 3 per cent to 22,144 in 2015, compared with 2014. There were a total of 186,189 casualties of all severities in 2015. This is around 4 per cent lower than in 2014 and is the second lowest level on record.
A total of 140,056 personal-injury road traffic accidents were reported to the police in 2015. Of these accidents, 1,616 resulted in at least one fatality.
Source: Reported Road Casualties in Great Britain: Main Results 2015
Latest figures show that there were 1,800 road deaths in the year ending June 2016, a 2 per cent increase from the year ending June 2015; a total of 24,620 people were killed or seriously injured in the year ending June 2016, up by 3 per cent from the year ending June 2015; and there were 185,010 casualties of all severities in the year ending June 2016, down by 2 per cent from the year ending June 2015.
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A2) Historically, and still currently, car occupants have made up the largest road user group in each casualty severity. This is because cars make up 78 per cent of all traffic driven in Great Britain. However, casualty numbers by road user group are not proportionate to the total distance that the user group travels. The vulnerable user groups (usually defined as pedestrians, pedal cyclists and motorcyclists) all account for disproportionately more casualties than would be expected, given the distance travelled.
In 2015, car occupants accounted for 44 per cent of road deaths, pedestrians 24 per cent, pedal cyclists 6 per cent and motorcyclists 21 per cent. The number of car occupant fatalities decreased to 754, down 5 per cent compared with 797 in 2014; the number of pedestrian deaths decreased to 408, down 9 per cent from 446 in 2014; the number of pedal cyclists killed decreased to 100, down 12 per cent from 113 in 2014; but the number of motorcycle users killed increased by 8 per cent from 339 in 2014 to 365 in 2015.
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A3) Yes. While the general trend has been downwards, this has masked big national and regional variations.
A report published by the RAC Foundation and PACTS shows that compared with the 2005-9 average (the Government’s baseline for monitoring progress) by 2014 there had been the following reductions in the number of people killed or seriously injured:
London -40 per cent
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A5) In 2015, the majority of injured casualties occurred on built-up roads (72 per cent of total casualties). However, the majority of fatalities occurred on non built-up roads (just over a half). The reason for this is that non built-up roads have higher average speeds which more frequently result in more serious collisions.
Although motorways carry around 21 per cent of traffic, they only account for 6 per cent of fatalities and 5 per cent of injured casualties. In 2015, the number of fatalities on motorways rose from 96 deaths to 108.
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A6) The European Road Assessment Programme is an association of motoring organisations, national and regional road authorities and experts that aims to reduce death and serious injuries on Europe’s roads and make those that do occur survivable. It does this by assessing roads to show how well the road would protect life in the event of an accident.
The British EuroRAP 2016 results, showing how safe you are on British roads, can be seen here . A map showing the statistical risk of death or serious injury occurring on Britain’s motorways and A roads - calculated by comparing the frequency of death and serious injury on every stretch of road with how much traffic each road is carrying - can be viewed here .
The UK’s highest-risk road is the A285 between Chichester and Petworth.
The joint report of the RAC Foundation and the Road Safety Foundation - Saving Lives, Saving Money - highlights that 6,000 lives could be saved on Britain's roads over the next 10 years by bringing main roads with safety flaws such as missing safety fencing and unsafe junction layouts up to safety levels that should reasonably be expected.
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A7) Yes. 60 per cent of all fatalities occur on country roads
Three people die each day on average on country roads and the number of people killed on country roads is nearly 10 times higher than on motorways. In 2014, there were 1,040 fatalities and 9,051 serious injuries on country roads. A third of the fatalities occurred on a bend.
Advice on driving safely on country roads can be viewed here .
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A9) Failed to look properly was the most frequently reported contributory factor and was reported in 46 per cent of all accidents reported to the police in 2015. For fatal accidents the most frequently reported contributory factor was loss of control, which was involved in 31 per cent of fatal accidents.
For accidents where a pedestrian was injured or killed, pedestrian failed to look properly was reported in 58 per cent of accidents, and pedestrian careless, reckless or in a hurry was reported in 29 per cent of accidents.
Exceeding the speed limit was reported as a factor in 5 per cent of all accidents, but these accidents involved 15 per cent of fatalities. At least one of exceeding the speed limit and travelling too fast for the conditions was reported in 11 per cent of all accidents and these accidents accounted for 23 per cent of all fatalities.
68 per cent of fatalities in reported road accidents had driver or rider error or reaction (which included failing to look properly, loss of control and poor turn or manoeuvre) reported as a contributory factor leading to the accident.
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A10) The total value of prevention of reported road accidents in 2015 was estimated to be £15.3bn. This sum encompasses all aspects of the valuation of casualties, including the human costs which reflect pain, grief and suffering; the direct economic costs of lost output and the medical costs associated with road accident injuries. The figure includes an estimate of the cost of damage only accidents.
It is also estimated that the total value of prevention of unreported casualties is around £20bn a year. The raises the total estimate for all reported and unreported accidents to around £35.5bn per year.
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A11) Final estimates for 2014 show that 240 people were killed in accidents in Great Britain where at least one driver was over the drink drive limit. This figure is unchanged from 2013 and represents about 13 per cent of all deaths in reported road accidents in 2014.
There were an estimated 220 fatal drink drive accidents in 2014, down 5 per cent on the 2013 figure (230).
1,310 people were killed or seriously injured (KSI) in drink/drive accidents in 2014. This is the lowest KSI total for reported drink drive accidents on record.
The total number of casualties of all types in drink drive accidents for 2014 was 8,210, down 1 per cent on the 2013 figure. This is also the lowest total on record.
Drink drive fatalities in 2014 are more than six times lower than in 1979, a significant reduction. Rather than accounting for a quarter of all road deaths, as they did in 1979, drink drive deaths now account for about 13 per cent of all road fatalities.
The first provisional estimates for 2015 suggest there were between 200 and 290 deaths in drink drive accidents. It is estimated that there were 1,420 killed or seriously injured casualties and 8,530 casualties of all severities in drink drive accidents in 2015.
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A12) The levels of drivers who have reported that they have driven either whilst over the alcohol limit and/or whilst under the influence of illegal drugs are drawn from questions asked in the Crime Survey for England and Wales.
Around 7.6 per cent of drivers in 2015/16 said that they believed they had driven whilst over the legal alcohol limit at least once in the last 12 months. This proportion is up from 6.2 per cent in 2014/15.
Around 0.6 per cent of drivers admitted to driving whilst under the influence of illegal drugs in the last 12 months. This figure has remained broadly unchanged since 2011/12.
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A13) In 2014, 1.6 per cent of all drivers in England and Scotland were observed using a hand-held mobile phone whilst driving.
Drivers were more likely to be observed with a mobile phone in their hand rather than holding it to their ear. In 2014, 1.1 per cent of drivers in England and Scotland were observed holding a phone in their hand compared with 0.5 per cent observed holding the phone to their ear.
A higher proportion of drivers in England and Scotland were observed using a hand-held mobile phone when stationary (2.3 per cent) than in moving traffic (1.6 per cent).
The proportion of car drivers observed using a hand-held mobile phone in England in 2014 (1.5 per cent) was relatively unchanged from the 1.4 per cent observed in 2009, when the previous survey was carried out.
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A14) 98.2 per cent of car drivers were observed using seat belts in England and Scotland.
Seat belt wearing rates were lower for other car occupants compared to car drivers. 96.7 per cent of all front seat passengers and 90.6 per cent of all rear seat passengers were observed using seat belts or child restraints in England and Scotland.
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A15) Up to 1 in 3 road crashes involves a vehicle being driven for work. Every week, around 200 deaths and serious injuries involve someone at work. Indeed, for the majority of people, the most dangerous thing they do whilst at work is drive on the public highway.
Source: Driving for Better Business
Analysis by the RAC Foundation of previously unpublished data from the annual Labour Force Survey carried out by the Office for National Statistics shows that in 2011 an estimated 73,000 people were seriously or slightly hurt in accidents while travelling on company business (excluding commuting). This is 36 per cent of the total number of 202,000 people recorded injured (but not killed) in all road accidents for that year. Of those hurt whilst driving in the course of their employment, more than a third (36 per cent) are subsequently off work for more than a week.
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A16) Yes. Young drivers (17-24 year-olds) only account for about 7 per cent of all full driving licence holders and also, on average, drive fewer miles than drivers aged 25 and over. (A typical young car driver covers around 4,000 miles a year in comparison with an average of 5,600 miles per year covered by an older driver). Yet young car drivers made up 18 per cent of all car drivers involved in reported road accidents in 2013.
In 2013, there were 337 fatalities in accidents involving at least one young car driver, roughly a fifth of all reported road fatalities. Young car drivers themselves accounted for 39 per cent of these fatalities and the passengers in their cars a further 18 per cent.
A17) In 2013, 234 teenage car passengers were killed or seriously injured when the young driver (17-19) they were travelling with was involved in a crash.
This is more than four each week.
When casualties of all severities are included, the annual figure rose to 2,144 or around 41 each week.
The data also shows that of all teenage car passengers killed or seriously injured over this period:
45 per cent were passengers in cars driven by 17-19 year-olds (1.5 per cent of all full licence holders)
23 per cent were passengers in cars driven by 20-24 year-olds (5.8 per cent of all full licence holders)
31 per cent were passengers in cars driven by drivers aged 25 and over (92.6 per cent of all full licence holders)
1 per cent were passengers in cars driven by drivers aged 16 and under
The annual figures suggest the number of teenagers hurt in accidents where a teenager is driving has declined over recent years and at a faster rate than the general fall in road casualties. But rather than indicating that young drivers are becoming inherently safer it has been argued that the drop is down to:
Falling licence holding among young people
Falling trip rates among young people
Safer cars
The numbers were calculated by the RAC Foundation using the MAST Online tool developed by Road Safety Analysis.
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A18) The proportion of casualties amongst the 17-19 age group is highest in Dyfed-Powys at almost one in five (18.2 per cent). This is followed by Gwent (17 per cent), Cumbria and North Wales (15.8 per cent), Northern and Grampian (15.7 per cent) and Cornwall (15.5 per cent). London had the smallest proportion (5.6 per cent).
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A19) A RAC Foundation study – Young driver safety: solutions to an age-old problem – published in July 2013 concluded that placing conditions on the licences of young drivers could reduce fatal accidents amongst this group by more than a half. As part of an overhaul of how young people learn to drive, the RAC Foundation is calling for a three-stage process:
A one-year minimum learning period during which they would need to have experience of driving in a variety of circumstances: e.g. during the winter, in darkness
A one-year post-test period during which there are passenger restrictions and conditions for late-night driving
A final full licence with a two year probationary period (which currently exists and during which if a driver receives six penalty points they have to take a retest).
The Foundation also backs a reduction in the drink-drive limit for all drivers to a maximum blood alcohol content of 50mg/100ml (down from the existing 80mg/100ml). This would be of greatest safety benefit to younger drivers, with knock-on benefits for the rest of the driving population.
The Foundation has also published a fact sheet on Young Driver Safety.
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A20) Among other possible requirements (like a minimum learner period and lower alcohol limit for new drivers), Graduated Driving Licensing (GDL) schemes typically place temporary restrictions on newly qualified young drivers in the first few months after they pass their tests. These restrictions can include a limit on the number of young passengers they can carry and a late night curfew. The aim of GDL is to limit young drivers’ exposure to risk until they have gained experience.
A report commissioned by the RAC Foundation and undertaken by the Transport Research Laboratory concluded that based on the experience of other countries where GDL is in operation, across Britain about 4,500 fewer people would be hurt in an average year. This includes about 430 people who would otherwise have been killed or seriously injured.
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A21) Comparisons of collision rates in several countries indicate that, when all severity collision rates are compared on a per-licensed-driver basis, older drivers up to the age of 80 have collision rates that are comparable to those of middle-aged drivers. The comparatively greater fatality rates of older drivers can be accounted for by their greater fraility and lower resilience to injury. It is also accepted that the risk of injury which older drivers pose is predominantly to themselves rather than to other road users.
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A22) Contrary to what many people might think, higher numbers of children die on the roads on longer, warmer summer days as opposed to the shorter, colder days of winter.
Historical data shows that the monthly total of child road casualties rises to a peak in July when (based on a five-year average) 57 per cent more children aged 15 are killed or hurt compared to December which has the lowest monthly average. The summer peak in total child casualty numbers is likely to be down to children’s increased exposure to risk with the better weather and longer days meaning more young people playing outside with their friends; and cycling and walking to and from school.
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A25) No. Research suggests that almost 20 per cent of accidents on major roads are sleep-related. Such accidents are also more likely to result in a fatality or serious injury.
Studies have shown that drivers do not fall asleep without warning. Drivers who fall asleep at the wheel have often tried to fight off drowsiness by opening a window or by turning up the radio. This does not work for long.
Instead, the advice given by the Department for Transport is that drivers should:-
plan your journey to include a 15-minute break every 2 hours
do not start a long trip if you are already tired
remember the risks if you have to get up unusually early to start a long drive
try to avoid long trips between midnight and 6am when you are likely to feel sleepy anyway
if you start to feel sleepy, find a safe place to stop - not the hardshoulder of a motorway. Drink 2 cups of coffee or a high-caffeine drink and have a rest for 10 to 15 minutes to allow time for the caffeine to kick in.
Remember, the only cure for sleepiness is proper sleep. A caffeine drink or a nap is a short-term solution that will only allow you to keep driving for a short time.
A26) 38.3 per cent of Class 3 & 4 vehicles (cars, light vans up to 3,000kg and passenger vehicles with up to 12 seats) failed their initial MoT test.
Full details of the MoT tests carried out in 2014/15 can be viewed here .
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A27) The 3 main causes for Class 3 & 4 vehicles (cars, light vans up to 3,000kg and passenger vehicles with up to 12 seats) failing their initial MoT were were lighting and signalling defects (30.0 per cent of defects), suspension (18.7 per cent of defects) and brakes (17.2 per cent of defects).
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A28) New cars are rated by the independent European New Car Assessment Programme (Euro NCAP) which was established in 1997 and has the current backing of seven European governments and the European Commission, as well as motoring and consumer organisations in every European country.
Vehicles made before 2009 were given three separate star ratings, to indicate how they performed in a crash when it came to adult occupant protection, child occupant protection and pedestrian protection.
From 2009 all vehicles now receive a single star rating (out of five) which encompasses the three existing test areas, plus a fourth area - additional technologies designed to promote safe driving. This includes such technology as Electronic Stability Control and speed limiters.
The Euro NCAP site contains a wealth of information about cars’ comparative safety.
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A29) Electronic Stability Control (ESC) is a system that when it detects a loss of steering control, automatically applies the brakes to help manoeuvre the vehicle where the driver intends to go. Braking is automatically applied to individual wheels depending on the situation. It significantly reduces the risk of a vehicle sliding if a bend is taken too fast or skidding during a sudden emergency manoeuvre.
ESC normally consists of the electronic systems of traction control and ABS using several sensors such as steering wheel angle sensor, yaw rate sensor, lateral acceleration sensor and wheel speed sensor to monitor the vehicle’s direction of travel and the driver’s intended course. ESC cannot be retrofitted and needs to be fitted before sale.
From 1 November 2011 all new type approved vehicles were required to have ESC fitted as standard and from 1 November 2014, all newly-registered vehicles must also comply.
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A30) Intelligent Speed Adaptation (ISA) is a system that compares the local speed limit to the vehicle speed. The system can then (i) advise the driver when the vehicle is found to be exceeding the speed limit with an audible and/or visual warning (advisory ISA); (ii) control maximum speed through an overridable system where the driver can choose to override the speed limiting function and regain full manual control until a new speed limit is encountered and/or the road speed drops beneath the current speed limit at which time ISA regains control (overridable ISA) and; (iii) control maximum speed through a mandatory speed limiting function that the driver cannot override (mandatory ISA).
In June 2015, the Mayor and Transport for London (TfL) announced ISA would be trialled on 47 London buses travelling on 2 routes - route 19 (which runs from Battersea to Finsbury Park) and route 486 (which runs from North Greenwich to Bexleyheath). These routes included a variety of different road environments, with differing speed limits, which would allow the new technology to be fully tested.
The results of the trial were announced in March 2016. TfL found the technology to be “particularly effective” when buses drove through 20mph limit zones and ensured buses taking part in the trail remained within the speed limit 97-99 per cent of the time.
In the light of the trial, TfL intends to require all new buses entering service from 2017 to have this technology fitted.
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A31) The evidence suggests that there would be reduced road casualties if we adjusted British clocks to Single/Double Summer Time.(This would put clocks one hour ahead of GMT in winter and two in summer).The Department for Transport reported in a consultation document it issued in 2009 on Making Britain’s Roads the Safest in the World that based on the experience of 1968–71, the estimated effect of having lighter evenings would be to reduce road deaths by around 80 per year and serious injuries by around 212 per year This finding was based on research carried out by TRL – see TRL Report 368 .
The RAC Foundation supports the introduction of a trial of Single/Double Summer Time in the overall interests of road safety. However, a recent bid to move the UK's clocks forward by an hour for a 3 year trail period failed after the legislation ran out of time in the Commons. The Daylight Saving Bill 2010-11 would have seen the UK adopt Central European time, with BST plus one in the summer and GMT plus one in winter.
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A32) Yes. Knowing and applying the rules contained in The Highway Code could significantly reduce road casualties. Cutting the number of deaths and injuries that occur on our roads every day is a responsibility we all share. The Highway Code can help us discharge that responsibility.
Many of the rules in the Code are legal requirements, and if you disobey these rules you are committing a criminal offence. You may be fined, given penalty points on your licence or be disqualified from driving. In the most serious cases you may be sent to prison. Such rules are identified by the use of the words ‘MUST/MUST NOT’.
Although failure to comply with the other rules of the Code will not, in itself, cause a person to be prosecuted, The Highway Code may be used in evidence in any court proceedings under the Traffic Acts (see 'The road user and the law') to establish liability. This includes rules which use advisory wording such as ‘should/should not’ or ‘do/do not’.
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In which year did Czechoslovakia become the first country to make seat belts compulsory? | A Brief History of the Czech Republic
A BRIEF HISTORY OF THE CZECH REPUBLIC
By Tim Lambert
THE FIRST CZECHS
From about 400 BC what is now the Czech Republic was inhabited by a Celtic race. The Romans called them the Boii and they gave their name to Bohemia. Then about 100 AD a Germanic people called the Marcomanni conquered the area. The Romans traded with the Marcomanni and sometimes fought with them but they never conquered this part of the world.
In the sixth century a Slavic people entered what is now the Czech Republic. According to legend a man called Cech led them. However for centuries they were only a collection of tribes not a single, united people.
However in the 9th century a people called the Moravians from the frontier of the Czech Republic and Slovakia created an empire in Central Europe. It was called the Great Moravian Empire and it included what is now the Czech Republic, Slovakia and parts of Germany and Poland.
German missionaries began to convert the people of the empire to Christianity. Then the ruler Ratislav (846-870) asked the Byzantine emperor to send missionaries. He sent St Methodius and St Cyril.
Wenceslas inherited the throne of Bohemia (Czech Republic) in 921 when he was 14. When he came of age he tried to convert his people to Christianity. However people led by his brother Boleslav opposed him. In 929 Wenceslas was murdered. Afterwards he was canonized (declared a saint). Moreover the march of Christianity could not be stopped and soon all of Bohemia was converted.
The Moravian Empire reached a peak under Svatopluk (871-894). However in 896 a fierce people from the east called Magyars invaded. They conquered Slovakia but the Czechs remained independent.
THE CZECHS IN THE MIDDLE AGES
Furthermore the different tribes in what is now the Czech Republic gradually became united under the Premyslid dynasty. However the Germans overshadowed them. In 950 Bohemia became part of the Holy Roman Empire.
What was this empire? The Christian writer Augustine claimed that God created the Roman Empire for the good of mankind. He said there should be one empire led by an emperor just as there was one church led by the pope. In the early 9th century a man named Charlemagne conquered most of western and central Europe. He claimed he was the successor of the old Roman emperors (even though his empire did not include Rome).
After his death his empire split into three parts. The eastern part eventually became Germany. However the ruler of the eastern past kept the title emperor. In time his realm became known as the Holy Roman Empire. However it soon became a patchwork quilt of states and the emperor had little power. The Czechs resisted any interference by the emperors in their domestic affairs.
In the 13th century Bohemia (Czech Republic) prospered. Silver and gold were discovered and mining became an important industry. German settlers, craftsmen, farmers and miners were encouraged to come and live in Bohemia. Towns and trade flourished.
The Premyslid dynasty ended in 1306 when Vaclav III was assassinated. Eventually the Czech nobles offered the throne to John of Luxembourg, husband of Vaclav's sister.
The 14th century was a golden age for the Czechs. John, who ruled until 1346 spent most of his time abroad but his son Charles or Karel IV was a great ruler. Under him Bohemia became rich and powerful.
In 1355 he was elected Holy Roman Emperor. In 1356 he issued a golden bull which confirmed that the Holy Roman Empire was a commonwealth of sovereign states not a single empire.
Charles introduced more efficient farming methods from France. This together with its gold and silver mines made Bohemia prosperous.
Charles built many new public buildings and under him the arts flourished. Furthermore in 1348 Charles founded a university in Prague - the first in central Europe.
THE HUSSITES
By the late 14th century the church was very rich and powerful. It had also fallen into disrepute. The church had split and there were two popes, both claiming to be the 'true' pope. Some people began to demand reform. In England John Wycliffe criticized some of the church's practices and beliefs. His teaching spread to Prague University.
Leading the reformers was Jan Hus. At first the king was willing to support the Hussites for political reasons. However Prague University was founded not just for Czech students from all over the Holy Roman Empire. They were divided into four groups called nations, Saxons, Bavarians, Poles and Czechs. Each had equal voting rights. However in 1409 Vaclav IV changed the system. He decreed that in future the Czech nation would have 3 votes and the other nations would have one each. In protest German students and lecturers left.
Yet Vaclav IV changed sides in 1412 when he was offered a percentage of the money from sales of papal indulgences. (An indulgence was a document. If you bought one your sins were forgiven). The Hussites disapproved of this practice and they split with the king.
In 1412 Hus and his supporters were expelled from Prague University and excommunicated. They then became wandering preachers. Eventually Hus was called to the Council of Constance to answer charges of heresy. The Holy Roman Emperor, Sigismund promised him safe conduct. Nevertheless Hus was burned to death in July 1415.
The Czechs were appalled and afterwards many of the practices of the Czech church were reformed. Certain priests were removed from their parishes. However in 1419 King Vaclav agreed to their reinstatement. This provoked rebellion. Hus's supporters threw their enemies out of the windows of a building.
The Pope preached a 'crusade' against the 'heretics'. However the Czechs defeated them in battle. Under their leader Jan Zizka they went out to meet the 'crusaders'. The Hussites surrounded themselves with heavy wooden wagons for protection. Women fought alongside men and they used farm tools adapted as weapons. Using these unorthodox methods they crushed the 'crusaders' at the battle of Vitkov.
Meanwhile the Hussites had split into two groups. The more radical wing founded a new town called Tabor. They became known as Taborites. The Taborites did not only criticize the church they attacked all wealth and privilege. Not surprisingly they were very unpopular with the upper class.
The more moderate wing of the Hussites wanted only religious not social changes. They were called Utraquists. At first the Taborites and the Utraquists were forced to unite to fight the Catholics. The Bohemian Diet (parliament) devised the Four Articles of Prague, which was meant to be a compromise. However the unity did not last long.
In 1431 the Catholic 'crusaders' were crushed in a battle near Domazlice. Afterwards the Catholic church realized it had to resort to diplomacy. In 1433 they made peace with the Utraquists. The Taborites refused to stop fighting and as a result the Utraquists turned against them. (Wealthy Czechs feared the Taborites because they were opposed to the existing social order). Together Utraquists and Catholics crushed the Taborites at the battle of Lipany in 1434.
Afterwards the church in Bohemia (Czech Republic) remained a moderate Hussite one.
In the 15th century Bohemia, like the rest of central Europe, was faced with the growing threat from Turkey. Meanwhile Bohemia had a succession of weak rulers and the Czech nobility grew more powerful at the expense of the king and the towns.
THE CZECHS UNDER HAPSBURG RULE
However in 1526 a Hapsburg became Ferdinand I. (The Hapsburgs were a powerful family who ruled several European states). The Hapsburgs restored strong central rule.
However Ferdinand was a Catholic. At first he was forced to accept the Hussite Church in Bohemia but in 1546-47 he joined in a war against Protestants in Germany. Many Czechs rebelled but the rebellion failed. Afterwards many prominent Czech Protestants were executed. Furthermore Ferdinand invited the Jesuits to Bohemia to try and convert his people to Catholicism. However he had to tread carefully to avoid alienating his Czech subjects.
His son Rudolf II was even more tolerant and privately said he was neither Catholic nor Protestant but Christian. He was also a patron of the arts and learning and under him Czech culture flourished.
However he abdicated in 1611 in favor of his brother Matthias. In 1617 Matthias named his staunchly Catholic cousin Ferdinand as his heir. The result was a rebellion by Protestant nobles. Other countries, both Catholic and Protestant took sides and as result Europe was plunged into a terrible war - The Thirty Years War.
It began in 1618 when rebels threw Catholic nobles out of a window in Prague - the so-called defenestration of Prague. However the Czech Protestants were crushed at the battle of Bila Hora (White Mountain) in 1620. Afterwards a number of Protestant nobles were executed and their property was confiscated. In 1627 a new constitution was imposed. The powers of the Czech Diet (parliament) were curtailed and Roman Catholicism became the only recognized religion.
Meanwhile the Czechs suffered terribly during the war. In 1632 the Protestant Saxons took Bohemia but the Catholic forces soon recaptured it. Then for 13 years from 1635 to 1648 the two sides, Protestant and Catholic fought over Bohemia. When the war finally ended in 1648 Bohemia was devastated and her population was greatly reduced.
Afterwards Bohemia was a predominantly Catholic state. After the war Protestant landowners had their estates confiscated. (Much of this confiscated land was given to Catholic Germans). The Hapsburg rulers had much power and the Diet had little. The Czechs became part of an empire including Austria and Hungary. Czech culture suffered.
However Czech fortunes revived in the mid-18th century. From 1740 Maria-Theresa was empress of Austro-Hungary. She was more sympathetic to the Czechs than previous rulers. However Bohemia was involved in the War of the Austrian Succession from 1740 to 1748. French soldiers occupied Prague in 1741-1742 and by the Prussians in 1744. Furthermore in 1757 the Prussians defeated the Austrians in a battle at Prague during the Seven Years War (1756-1763).
In 1773 the empress banned the Jesuits but in 1781 her successor introduced religious toleration.
THE CZECHS IN THE 19TH CENTURY
In the early 19th century Czech industry grew rapidly. The textile industry boomed. The sugar industry and an iron industry also prospered. Meanwhile interest in Czech culture and history grew. Among the leading minds of the 19th century were Josef Dobrovsky (1753-1829) a linguist and Frantisek Palacky a historian. Furthermore during the 19th century the great Czech composer Antonin Dvorak (1841-1904) wrote operas, concertos and symphonies.
Nationalism and the ideas of the French Revolution grew more and more important during the 19th century and in 1848 they exploded in revolution. It was ignited by a revolution in France in February, which was followed by revolutions in other parts of Europe. Alarmed by the unrest sweeping Europe the Austrian emperor at first backed down. He promised his people constitutional changes. In June a Slav Congress was held in Prague.
At that time Czech radicals erected barricades in the streets of Prague. The army withdrew but used artillery to bombard Prague. The city surrendered. Soon revolutions in the Austro-Hungarian empire collapsed.
However in 1859 Austria was defeated in a war with France. In 1866 the Austrians suffered another defeat in a war with Prussia. Following these humiliations the Dual Monarchy was created in 1867. Austria and Hungary became independent states with one monarch. However the Czechs were not granted autonomy and nationalism and demands for independence grew.
Meanwhile industrialization continued in what is now the Czech Republic. Coal mining boomed. So did an engineering industry. The textile industry also flourished.
THE CZECHS IN THE FIRST WORLD WAR
In 1914 the Czechs were reluctant to fight for the Austrians and Magyars. They were also reluctant to fight the Russians (fellow Slavs). On the eastern front thousands surrendered to the Russians rather than fight them.
Meanwhile in Paris a university lecturer called Tomas Masaryk formed an organisation called the Czech Committee Abroad. (It later changed its name to the Czech National Committee). In November 1915 his organisation called for an independent Bohemia and Slovakia.
On 29 June 1918 the Committee was recognized as the provisional government of Czechoslovakia by France. It was recognized by Britain on 9 August, by the USA on 18 September and by Italy on 3 October. By then Austria-Hungary was collapsing. On 14 October Masaryk gave US President Wilson the Czechoslovak declaration of independence. (Later called the Washington declaration). On 28 October 1918 an independent Czechoslovak Republic was declared in Prague.
Meanwhile in 1916 some Czech prisoners of war agreed to join the French foreign legion and fight the Austrians. In 1917 a separate Czech army was formed in Russia. However in November 1917 the Communists staged a revolution. Russia then became embroiled in civil war. The Czech soldiers were keen to return home but on 20 May 1918 the Communists demanded that they disarm. They refused and they had to fight the Russian Communists to get home.
CZECHOSLOVAKIA
The new state of Czechoslovakia was the only industrialized state in eastern Europe. It also proved to be the only successful democracy. Its first president was Masaryk. He resigned in 1935.
During the inter-war period Czechoslovakia produced the great writer Franz Kafka. Other writers were Jaroslav Hasek and Karel Capek who first used the word robot for a mechanical man in his play R.U.R. (Rossum's Universal Robots).
However the new republic was faced with the problem that it contained large national minorities. On 29 October 1918 Germans in north and west Bohemia declared their independence. However the wartime allies were afraid that they would join with Austria. French and Italian troops were sent to the German areas and they were made part of Czechoslovakia again but the German minorities desire for independence spelled trouble for the future.
Meanwhile after 1929 Czechoslovakia suffered from the economic depression. By 1933 industrial output fell to only 60% of its pre-war level. Unemployment soared till it was almost one third of the workforce. However after 1935 the Czech economy slowly recovered.
However in the late 1930s the main question was the Germans who lived in the Sudetenland. They formed a separatist party, the German Sudeten Party and by 1935 60% of the Germans who lived in the area voted from them.
Then after annexing Austria in March 1938 Hitler turned his attention to Czechoslovakia. Konrad Henlein the head of the Sudeten German Party demanded full autonomy. In May German soldiers began moving towards the frontier. The Czech government ordered a partial mobilization. Henlein now demanded that the Sudetenland be joined with Germany.
Shamefully, Britain and France were unwilling to fight to defend Czechoslovakia. On 15 September Chamberlain, the British prime minister met Hitler at Berchtesgaden. Later he met Hitler at Bad Godesbury in an attempt to 'appease' him. On 23 September the Czech army fully mobilized. Unfortunately on 30 September Chamberlain and the French prime minister met Hitler at Munich and agreed to all his demands.
The Czechs had no option but to agree. President Benes resigned on 5 October. He left Czechoslovakia on 22 October. Then, on 15 March the Germans occupied the rest of the Czech lands. Slovakia became a separate country - and a German satellite.
Finally on 21 July 1940 the British government recognized Benes as the leader of a Provisional Czechoslovakian government in exile. Also in 1941 Reinhard Heydrich was made 'Reichs Protector' or ruler of the Czech lands. A wave of executions followed. Heydrich also began deporting Jews to concentration camps.
However on 27 May 1942 Heydrich was assassinated by Czech agents who had parachuted into the country. The Germans carried out a terrible revenge. They burned the villages of Lidice and Lezaky and killed all the men. Women and children were deported.
On 6 October 1944 Czech soldiers fighting alongside the Russian army crossed the border from Poland into Czechoslovakia. On 4 April 1945 President Benes formed a provisional government at Kosice. It was made up of Socialists, Social Democrats and Communists. Finally on 5 May the people of Prague rose in revolt. They fought the Germans until 9 May when the Russian army arrived in the city.
After the Second World War Germans from the Sudetenland were expelled from Czechoslovakia.
COMMUNIST CZECHOSLOVAKIA
Furthermore the Communists began taking over Czechoslovakia. Although Benes was president the Communists held the key posts of Prime Minister, Minister of Defense and Minister of the Interior. They also controlled the trade unions. In elections held in May 1946 the communists obtained 40% of the vote and emerged as the largest party.
At the beginning of 1948 the Communist minister of the interior began to purge the police of 'unreliable' officers and replace them with Communists. In February 1948 the non-Communist members of the cabinet resigned in protest, hoping President Benes would dismiss the Communist prime minister Klement Gottwald. However the Communists held mass demonstrations and the Russian army began to build up along the Hungarian border.
Prime minister Gottwald then demanded that President Benes appoint a new cabinet of Communists, which he did. Then on 9 May parliament passed a new constitution giving the Communist party a 'leading role'. Benes refused to sign it and resigned. Gottwald replaced him as president. Meanwhile a liberal politician named Jan Masaryk was murdered.
The Communists lost no time in creating a totalitarian regime in Czechoslovakia. Industry was nationalized and in the 1950s agriculture was collectivized.
At first the Communists arrested their opponents. Then they turned on their own people. In the early 1950s the Communist party was 'purged'. Members were executed or imprisoned.
In 1953 after the death of Stalin Czechoslovakia was hit by demonstrations and strikes. The army was sent in to suppress them. Czechoslovakia remained a Stalinist society.
However in the 1960s a slight 'thaw' happened. Censorship was relaxed and restrictions of foreign travel were made less rigorous. As a result criticism of the regime grew and it reached a crescendo in 1968.
In January 1968 a Slovak named Alexander Dubcek became First Secretary of the Communist party. During the so-called Prague Spring of 1968 he introduced a more liberal regime. It was sometimes called 'socialism with a human face'. Censorship ended and people openly criticized the Communist party. However the Russians were appalled and they were determined to end the liberalization.
Finally on the night of 20-21 August 1968 Russian forces and those from other Warsaw Pact countries invaded Czechoslovakia. The Prague spring was at an end. A long period of repression followed.
On 16 January 1969 a student called Jan Palach (1948-1969) poured petrol over himself and set it alight in Wenceslas Square in Prague. He died in hospital on 19 January 1969. Despite his and other brave protests repression continued. However the demand for human rights in Czechoslovakia would not die. In 1977 a group of people formed Charta 77 (Charter 77) to protest about human rights abuses.
Meanwhile in 1969 Czechoslovakia became the first country in the world to make wearing seat belts compulsory.
In 1978 Vladimir Remek became the first Czech in space.
In 1989 the Communist tyranny in Czechoslovakia crumbled. On 17 November the police attacked a student demonstration. Events then moved quickly. On 19 November human rights activists formed the Civic Forum. On 20 November huge demonstrations were held. More followed in the next few days. On 24 November the government resigned but the demonstrations continued. On 27 November a 2 hour strike was held.
Eventually the Communist party agreed to end 1 party rule. They also promised to form a coalition government. However on 3 December it turned out that Communists dominated the coalition. The people were not satisfied and they held more demonstrations. Finally on 10 December a new government was formed. This time Communists were a minority. The Federal Assembly elected Vaclav Havel president of Czechoslovakia on 29 December.
In June 1990 multi-party elections were held and the process of turning Czechoslovakia into a market economy began.
Prague
THE CZECH REPUBLIC
The Velvet Revolution was followed by the Velvet Divorce. The Czechs and Slovaks were two quite different people with different histories. In June 1992 the Movement for a Democratic Slovakia won elections and pressed for Slovak independence. Czechs and Slovaks quickly reached agreement and on 1 January 1993 Czechoslovakia separated into two states, Slovakia and the Czech Republic. The first President of the Czech Republic was Vaclav Havel. In February 2003 he was replaced by Vaclav Klaus.
Today the Czech Republic is a prosperous industrial nation.
In 1999 the Czech Republic joined NATO. In 2004 it joined the EU.
Like the rest of Europe the Czech Republic suffered in the recession of 2009. Yet the Czech Republic soon recovered and today it is a prosperous country. The Czech Republic is noted for making machines, paper, glass, steel and ceramics. It is also famous for beer. Then in 2016 Czechia became the official alternative name for the country.
Today the population of the Czech Republic is 10.6 million.
| 1969 |
Which African country has the highest population? | BUCKLED TO HISTORY - motoring.com.au
BUCKLED TO HISTORY
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It's 40 years since an Australian state made history via the compulsory use of seatbelts
Volvo and Victoria dominate seatbelt history. The first car to be equipped with three-point seatbelts in the front was a Volvo P544 delivered to a dealer in Kristianstad, Sweden on 13 August 1959. And a little more than 11 years later, Victoria became the world’s first legislature to decree mandatory wearing of seatbelts.
It was November 17, 1970, that the then Chief Secretary of the Victorian State Government, Sir Arthur Rylah, made the announcement. The legislation came into effect on December 22 of the same year, just in time for the Christmas peak traffic period.
The effect on road trauma was so great — the death toll was down by almost 10 per cent in the first year — that all other Australian states followed and by January 1, 1972 the wearing of belts was compulsory throughout Australia. Other countries also introduced similar laws.
As early as the 1930s there were calls for manufacturers to provide seatbelts in new vehicles. Belts had only just begun to be used in aeroplanes, doubtless catalysed by the desire of bolder pilots to be able to fly upside down.
But the laws of physics did not need to be tested so hard to make the advantages self-evident: the first seatbelt patent was granted in 1885 to one Edward J Claghorn.) A number of prominent US physicians equipped their own cars with lap belts to lead by example.
In 1954 the Sports Car Club of America required racing drivers to wear two-point belts. Volvo offered an optional two-point cross-chest diagonal belt in 1956. In 1958 Saab became the first manufacturer to offer lap belts as standard in its cars, introducing them in the 750 GT.
Front seatbelts were mandatory in all cars sold in Australia after January 1, 1969. Belts had been manufactured in Australia since the late 1950s and by 1963-64 the annual volume was more than 300,000, increasing to a million over the next half decade.
From June 30, 1964 South Australian legislation decreed the fitting of mounting points to all outboard positions. Victoria echoed this move on October 1 of the same year. But although motorists accepted the safety benefit, there was no great move towards fitting seatbelts, even though mounting points, at least for the outboard front seats, were fitted to almost all new cars displayed at the 1966 Melbourne Motor Show (where belts were universally available as optional extras).
Work began on three-point belts in 1951 but it took eight years to arrive at production reality. Volvo’s Nils Bohlin (pictured) developed the single most important safety breakthrough in automotive history. The company has remained at or near the forefront of seatbelt technology ever since.
Volvo made lap-sash belts standard on its domestic market in 1959. In 1963 lap-sash front belts were fitted to all Volvos sold in the USA. Volvo began installing rear lap belts in 1967, moving to the lap-sash type five years later. It had a centre inertia-reel belt in the rear of its cars by 1986.
The first US manufacturer to offer lap belts as an option was Nash in 1949. Ford followed in 1955, but, in a pessimistic burst of illogicality, American buyers took this as an admission that the design of the vehicles themselves was unsafe… After all, other manufacturers mostly did not offer the belts.
The take-up rate was low and Ford’s experience led to the introduction of the long-held adage (only outdated in the past 20 years) that ‘safety does not sell’.
Ralph Nader’s landmark 1965 book Unsafe at any Speed: the designed-in dangers of the American Automobile was a major contributor to the rush into seatbelts in the second half of the 1960s. But even before his book hit the shelves, Nader’s views were well known and he was engaged in highly public battles with the Detroit carmakers, chiefly General Motors. That same year (1965) all US manufacturers started equipping cars with belts front and rear in advance of legislation.
Richard Gerstenberg, Chairman of General Motors, happened to be at Fishermans Bend visiting Holden in 1964 or 1965 when a telephone call came through from the US detailing some development in the Nader controversy. This triggered the decision to fit belts as standard.
Holden managed to get lap-sash front belts into the HR in September 1966, six months after the model’s launch.
To demonstrate the strength of these belts, the public relations people managed to suspend an HR Holden from one seat belt with a smaller Viva suspended by a second seat belt beneath the HR.
John Bremner, a public relations man on the scene, laughed about this later but probably didn’t on the day. Apparently the crane driver was a little jerky in his manoeuvres putting a sudden strain on his load. The top-belt steel anchor plate split and the HR Holden dropped onto the Viva, flattening it and changing the focus of the media’s attention.
By 1975 inertia-reel belts were fitted to the outboard front seats of all new cars sold in Australia and some years later these also found their way into the rear. The advantage of this style of belt over the manually adjustable variety is manifest but nevertheless a 2007 study conducted by the Ford Motor Company showed that a standard inertia reel seatbelt does not prevent the wearer’s head from making contact with the roof in a standard rollover test.
Thus the next big step forward was the pretensioner or web-clamp. Daimler-Benz was the pioneer, introducing them on its 1981 S-Class.
In the event of an impact the pretensioner tightens the belt almost instantly. The web-clamp limits the distance the belt can spool out and usually incorporates ‘rip stitching’ which gives way at a predetermined point to soften the encounter between belt and the occupant.
These ‘automatic’ elements added great value to the three-point lap-sash seatbelt. The original manually adjustable type was rarely worn properly. Nevertheless, it is well known that more than three points is ideal, which is why racing drivers use five, six or even seven-point belts, which must be painstakingly adjusted.
Thus far no inertia reel component can be incorporated into these multi-point set-ups. The use of such belts in road cars remains infeasible.
One of the key advantages of the three-point belt is that it can be fastened and unfastened with one hand. Consumers only ever expect things to get easier. If this ease of operation could be applied to a four or five-point system, then that would be a logical next step.
Expect breakthroughs in the near future. Volvo has already set itself the seemingly unrealistic goal that no person will be killed or seriously injured in one of its cars in 2020.
When it introduced the three-point belt, the Swedish company shared the patent with all the world’s car manufacturers. Currently the company is engaged in experiments with a four-point arrangement and also with a motorised belt that can re-position the driver into the least dangerous position when an imminent impact is detected.
While in recent years more attention has been paid to airbag technology, there is still room for further developments in the simple seatbelt.
It’s likely Volvo, if not Australia will lead the way again…
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As in the famous song Girl From Ipanema, in which country is Ipanema? | The Girl From Ipanema: Brazil's Most Famous Song
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By Carlos Quintana
" The Girl From Ipanema ," originally known in Portuguese as "Garota De Ipanema," is the most famous Brazilian song ever recorded in history. This track, which was written in 1962 by Antonio Carlos Jobim (aka Tom Jobim) and Vinicius de Moraes, two of the greatest Brazilian artists of all time, was responsible for providing Brazilian music with an unprecedented worldwide exposure. In the following lines, I will share with you some facts regarding the story and memorable recordings of one of the most enduring tracks in Latin music.
The Birth of "Garota De Ipanema"
"The Girl From Ipanema" is a good example of the powerful appeal that simple things have in life. The story of this song starts in the 1960s. Back then, Tom Jobim and Vinicius de Moraes used to hang out in a small bar located in the beach of Ipanema, Rio de Janeiro. The two artists, who used to spend their afternoons with a nice glass of whisky, never missed the opportunity to admire the beautiful girls of the area.
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In the winter of 1962, a gorgeous girl who used to stop by the bar on a regular basis caught the attention of the two artists. Her name was Heloisa Eneida Menezes Paes Pinto, a young resident of the Ipanema district. Her good looks and elegance inspired the famous lyrics of this song.
From "Garota De Ipanema" to "The Girl From Ipanema"
On August 2, 1962, "Garota De Ipanema" was played for the first time in a small night club of Copacabana. For 40 nights, Tom Jobim, Vinicius de Moraes and a talented guitarist named Joao Gilberto played the song for the crowd. People loved it from the very beginning. Besides "Garota De Ipanema," during that gig the legendary trio introduced other famous Bossa Nova songs including tracks like "Samba Do Aviao" and "So Danco Samba".
In spite of the fact that "Garota De Ipanema" was already popular among the crowd in Copacabana, the first recording of the song was not produced by Tom Jobim and Vinicius de Moraes. In 1963, the singer Pery Ribeiro became the first artist to record this song.
That same year, however, Tom Jobim was able to record the song too. He included an instrumental version of "The Girl From Ipanema" on his first American production entitled The Composer of "Desafinado" Plays. Although this version was well accepted, it did not enjoy the popularity of the next recording.
On March 1963, Tom Jobim joined American Jazz saxophonist Stan Getz, Joao Gilberto and Astrud Gilberto to record the first English version of "Garota De Ipanema" for the album Getz/Gilberto . Soon after the release of this production, the song became a worldwide hit.
After getting a Grammy award, the song was recorded by the top artists of the time including Frank Sinatra who worked with Tom Jobim in the making of a Bossa Nova album together. Since then, "The Girl From Ipanema" has beem recorded by the best artists in the world.
Thanks to "The Girl From Ipanema," Bossa Nova took the world by storm. The popularity of Brazilian music can be divided in two parts: Before and after "The Girl From Ipanema." This song has been recorded over a 500 times by some of the most famous singers in the world including Ella Fitzgerald, Madonna, Cher and, more recently, Amy Winehouse.
Trivia Facts
"The Girl From Ipanema" was the second most played song in the 20th century just behind The Beatles' hit track "Yesterday."
Thanks to this song, the small bar where Tom Jobim and Vinicius de Moraes used to hang out changed its name from Bar Veloso to Bar and Restaurante Garota de Ipanema. Likewise, the nearby street, which was originally called Rua Montenegro changed its name to Rua Vinicius de Moraes.
Tom Jobim asked several times Heloisa Eneida Menezes Paes Pinto (Now Helo Pinheiro) to marry him. Because of this, Helo's boyfriend decided to anticipate their wedding.
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What is name of the strait that divides New Zealand into Northern and Southern parts? | www.ipanema.com ALL ABOUT IPANEMA, RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL - Virtual Citytour
Florianópolis - SC
Ipanema is a neighborhood that summarizes the best Rio de Janeiro has to offer. There's a legendary beach , a bustling nightlife , restaurants to write home about, the most sophisticated street shopping in town, cultural centers, museums, excellent hotels in all price ranges...
Better yet, everything is in a walking distance , and it's easy to find your way around. Streets are lined up in a grid, and you have the beach and Lagoa as your references. If you had only one day in Rio, and you want to experience the city like a local instead of a tourist, this is the place you would be heading to.
Most of what is known as Ipanema today belonged to aristocrat José Antonio Moreira Filho, the Barão de Ipanema. Ipanema means bad water in Brazilian Indian dialect, but since the name was inherited from the baron, it has nothing to do with our beautiful blue sea. Once the tunnel connecting Copacabana to Botafogo was opened, Ipanema was finally integrated to the rest of the city.
In 1894 Vila Ipanema was founded, with 19 streets and 2 parks. The neighborhood started to grow faster with the arrival of streetcars in 1902. Ipanema became a household name in the 1950's and 60's - it is the birthplace of Bossa Nova. The whole world learned about it with hit song The Girl from Ipanema by Antonio Carlos Jobim and Vinícius de Morais, both Ipanema residents.
Since then Ipanema is always setting new trends, and what happens here reverberates throughout the country. Take Banda de Ipanema , for instance. What started as a celebration among a few dozen friends ended up bringing a new life to Rio de Janeiro's Street Carnival festivities. Today the parades attract as many as fifteen thousand, and many other neighborhoods have street bands of their own.
The first pregnant woman in a bikini was actress Leila Diniz in the 70's, she lived on Rua Aníbal de Mendonça. The first men sunbathing in a bikini bottom was Fernando Gabeira at Posto 9 in the early 80's. The first topless woman (who bothered asking? - 80's), and the dental floss bikini (late 80's) are among fashion statements that were made here first.
Ipanema has played an important cultural role in the city since its early days. There are major art galleries, universities, several schools, avant-garde theaters, art movie theaters, cyber-cafés... Do not be surprised to discover a cozy café with a web connection inside a bookshop or clothing store.
Fitness is also a big thing. Expect to run into juice shops every other block. People going into and coming out of the many state-of-the-art gyms. Activities offered sometimes include capoeira, you could well walk in and give it a shot. Keep your sunglasses on to better watch the sun-kissed girls and boys of Ipanema go by.
When the sun sets, the fun does not end. With an assortment of cafes, bars, and clubs there's always something happening at night. Stroll around Praça da Paz, Baixo Farme and Baixo Quitéria. Watch a live music performance, crash a circuit party, sip a beer or fresh coconut under the stars at a beach kiosk. Gays and lesbians have their own beach spot, and enjoy venues and clubs on Rua Teixeira de Melo, Farme de Amoedo and surroundings.
This is where Ipanema starts, right at the border with Leblon. Until the 70's this is where the streetcars turned. In the 90's the area was remodeled, and received a gift of questionable taste. An obelisk was erected right in the middle of busiest commercial street, coupled with a sort of an overpass that doesn't have any practical purpose. Originally they had designed it for pedestrians, but enraged residents of the surrounding buildings were not happy about having peeping toms passing right out their bedroom windows.
A couple of blocks away from Bar 20, between streets Garcia D´Ávila and Aníbal de Mendonça is Rio's Diamond Row. In addition to the Amsterdam Sauer Museum of Gems, visit the headquarters of jewelers H. Stern to take the free workshop tour , and see the steps in the production of a jewel. Explore Rua Garcia D'Ávila, the most sophisticated cross-street in Ipanema. Designer furniture, fashion, jewelers, and branches of shops like Louis Vuitton, Cartier, and Mont Blanc are perfect for window-shopping (and a little day-dreaming).
The street, formerly known as Montenegro, always had an important role in Ipanema. The first open air fashion shows in Brazil happened here, at Blu-Blu in the 70's. This is where the famous Velloso Bar was located. Tom Jobim and Vinícius supposedly composed the song Girl from Ipanema here - the lyrics were written on a napkin, according to legend. Later Velloso would be renamed Bar Garota de Ipanema, and the street named after Vinícius. Tom Jobim ended up as the name of Rio's International Airport. This whole street is full of interesting bars, shops and eateries. Do not miss Toca do Vinícius, a shop that has everything Bossa Nova - from rare CD's to literature and memorabilia.
One of Rio's prettiest green plazas, with well-manicured lawns, a beautiful art-deco centerpiece, small pond with ducks, and countless cast-iron statues. The Peace Square is a haven of tranquility right on the main street. Arrive early and take part in the tai-chi-chuan practice, watch the babies and children arrive with their mothers and babysitters. The farmer's market on Friday morning is another non-touristy way to enjoy the routine of locals. This square is surrounded by excellent restaurants, nightclubs, shopping, a gym, beauty salon for pets, you name it. Take your time and explore the surroundings, visit the small but beautiful church, stop for a gourmet coffee, a fresh-squeezed juice, or an unforgettable meal. You will probably come back for more later.
Unfairly considered by some the Peace Square's poor cousin, General Osório is also a spot you do not want to miss. Its fountain, though badly in need of a restoration, is a masterpiece by master Valentim. The hippie fair happens here on Sundays, and this is where Banda de Ipanema gathers for Carnival. It is surrounded by discount stores, restaurants, supermarkets, a post office, etc. From here you have a view to the popular community of Cantagalo, that stretches all the way to Copacabana.
This may be the most attractive commercial street in Rio - especially if you are not a fan of hyper malls. The street is lined up with banks, bars, restaurants, travel agencies and some of Rio's best boutiques. There are also many specialty shops, hotels, gyms, night clubs, 24-hour bookstands, drugstores... you will find everything could be looking for, and then some.
Basically all streets that start at Lagoa and run towards to the Beach are worth exploring. Each one has its own characteristics and attractions. Walking from one end to the other is a fun way to discover why people who live in Ipanema would not consider moving elsewhere. If you have time to do only two or three, we suggest Garcia D'Ávila, Vinícius de Morais and Farme de Amoedo.
While most of Ipanema features a healthy mix of residential and commercial buildings, some streets running parallel to the beach are still mostly residential. They feature a number of 4-story buildings, and many houses still stand - despite the soaring prices of real estate. Barão de Jaguaribe, Nascimento Silva and Redentor are good examples, with a similar profile.
Baixo is a term locals use to define areas that concentrate a number of bars and cafes, attracting a young crowd. Baixo Quitéria is on Rua Maria Quitéria (between streets Prudente and Visconde). Baixo Farme revolves around Bar Bofetada on Rua Farme de Amoedo, almost at the corner of Barão da Torre. Take a seat at one of the tables, and enjoy delicious appetizers as you chat away. Or just grab a drink, and leaning on a car people-watching. Learn a phrase or two in Portuguese to break the ice, and do not be shy. Talking to strangers, making new friends and flirting are some of the reasons Baixos exist, after all. For gays and lesbians the best alternative is Rua Teixeira de Melo, with lounges and dance clubs.
Even if you are traveling on a budget an afternoon window-shopping in Ipanema is always fun. It could even be considered a cultural activity, if you need any excuses. There are too many options but if your time is short here are some musts. Bikini boutiques like Salinas, Blue Man and Bum-Bum (they also carry bathing suits for guys). Clothing stores born in Ipanema that became national chains: Farm, Chocolate (women), Richard's, Wollner (men), and Company (family). Major jewelers on Rua Visconde de Pirajá like H. Stern, Amsterdam Sauer. Signature purses and handbags at Glorinha Paranaguá. Fashion underwear for men at Foch. Fine leathers at Frank e Amaury. Shoes at Mariazinha (women) or Mr. Cat (men). The possibilities are really endless...
Exploring art galleries is another fun way to get an insight into the local culture. There are two major art galleries in Ipanema you do not want to miss. Bolsa de Arte is on Rua Prudente de Morais near Farme de Amoedo. Galeria de Ipanema is on Aníbal de Mendonça, right on the beach block. Both feature paintings and art objects by major Brazilian artists. The hippie fair at General Osório Square on Sundays is great if you are looking for naïf paintings of tourist sights, wooden sculptures, handicraft, or exotic musical instruments.
Although there are no mammoth malls in Ipanema, Rua Visconde de Pirajá is lined up with commercial buildings with two or three stories with shops, beauty salons, and the like. Forum and Ipanema 2000 are among the most sophisticated. The upper floors are taken by private practices, offices, and lots of fashion wholesalers. Buyers from other states are frequently seen dragging huge shopping bags from buildings like the Visconde de Pirajá 580. You will find pieces very similar to what the fashion boutiques below have on display, for half the price (minus the prestigious label, of course).
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In which Indian city would you find the Taj Mahal? | 7 Wonders of India: Taj Mahal - YouTube
7 Wonders of India: Taj Mahal
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Uploaded on Feb 4, 2009
The Taj Mahal (also "the Taj"), located in Agra, is considered the finest example of Mughal architecture, a style that combines elements from Persian, Turkish, Indian, and Islamic architectural styles. The focus of the Taj Mahal is the white marble tomb, which stands on a square plinth consisting of a symmetrical building with an iwan, an arch-shaped doorway, topped by a large dome. It was built by the Mughal emperor Shah Jahan (1628-1658), grandson of Akbar the great, in the memory of his queen Arjumand Bano Begum, entitled 'Mumtaz Mahal'. The plinth and tomb took roughly 12 years to complete. The remaining parts of the complex took an additional 10 years and were completed in order of minarets, mosque and jawab and gateway. A labour force of 20,000 workers was recruited across northern India.
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| Agra |
Which country has the longest coastline in the world? | Same Day Taj Mahal Tour, Same Day Taj Mahal Tours By Car Road
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Do you wish to see the beautiful Taj Mahal and running short of time? Don't worry it is possible! Same Day Taj Mahal is especially meant for the purpose.You may have come to India on a short visit or perhaps little time is left with you. But missing the glorious Taj Mahal would be a grave mistake. Because, when you will go to your native place, people will definitely ask, "Have you seen Taj Mahal in India ?" We want you to say YES! Here's the bonanza! We also make you witness the beautiful city of Fatehpur Sikri and Agra Fort.well everything's in a day! Get ready to explore the greatest ever monumental beauty on earth.
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Day 01 Same Day Taj Mahal Tour Delhi-Agra-Taj Mahal-Delhi By Road/ By Private Car
NEW DELHI- AGRA (BY Road-204km/5hrs) 0600 hrs. Pickup from your hotel/airport/railway station and Drive to Agra--- AGRA-Historical Indian city is located in Uttar Pradesh. Upon arrival at Agra – TRAVELOGY INDIA a representative will assist you to transfer to the VISIT to Taj Mahal & Agra fort, Tomb of Itmad ud Daula known as Baby Taj.& Sikandra Fort----
Agra: Agra is a city in the north Indian state of Uttar Pradesh, some 200 km from the Indian capital city of Delhi. Agra has three UNESCO World Heritage sites, the Taj Mahal and the Agra Fort in the city and Fatehpur Sikri nearby. There are also many other buildings and tombs from Agra's days of glory as the capital of the Mughal Empire. The sites are some of the wonders of the world and no trip to India is complete without at least one visit to the Taj. The earliest reference to Agra is in the ancient epic, the Mahabharata, while Ptolemy was the first person to call it by its modern name. Agra was the Mughal capital at one point.
Taj Mahal : The construction of Taj Mahal started in the year 1631 and it took approximately 22 years to build it. An epitome of love, it made use of the services of 22,000 laborers and 1,000 elephants. It was built entirely out of white marble, which was brought in from all over India and central Asia. After an expenditure of approximately 32 million rupees (approx US $68000), Taj Mahal was finally completed in the year 1653.Built By: Shah Jahan; Dedicated to: Mumtaz Mahal (Arjumand Bano Begum), the wife of Shah Jahan; Location: Agra (Uttar Pradesh);Building Type: Islamic tomb; Architecture: Islamic; Highlights: One of the Seven Wonders of the World; A UNESCO World Heritage site. Enquire Now
Old Fort: (Agra Fort) The fort is built alongside the Yamuna river and stretches almost 2.5 km. It consists of a wall built in red sandstone and several buildings inside. The wall has 2 gates, the Delhi Gate and the Amar Singh Gate.
Tomb of Itmad-ud-Daula: Tomb of Itmad-ud-Daula which houses the magnificent mausoleum of Ghias Beg, father of the Mughal Empress Noor Jehan. The main tomb is made of pure white marble, with each façade composed of three arches with beautiful trellis screens, so delicately carved that they appear to be made of ivory.
Same Day Taj Mahal Tou Delhi-Agra-Taj Mahal-Delhi BY ROAD (A/C. DLX CAR & COACH)
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In which year did California become one of the United States of America? | Statehood Dates
Statehood Dates
Territory by Act of March 3, 1817, effective Aug. 15, 1817.
Alaska
A district from Oct. 18, 1867, until it became an organized territory Aug. 24, 1912.
Arizona
Feb. 14, 1912
48 th
This region was sometimes called Arizona before 1863, although it was still in the Territory of New Mexico.
Arkansas
June 15, 1836
25 th
The territory was larger than the state. After statehood the leftover area to the west had post offices that continued for some years to use an Arkansas abbreviation in the postmarks, although they were really in the "Indian Country."
California
Sept. 9, 1850
31 st
Ceded by Mexico by the Treaty of Guadalupe-Hidalgo, concluded Feb. 2, 1848, and proclaimed July 4, 1848. From then until statehood, California had a military government until Dec. 20, 1849, and then a local civil government. It never had a territorial form of government.
Colorado
| 1850 |
What were the first names of the three Bronte sisters? | History of Gambling in the United States
II. History of Gambling in the United States
Examining the history of gambling in North America suggests important conclusions that are useful today in considering policies related to gambling.
The United States has had a long history of allowing some forms of legal gambling and a degree of tolerance of illegal gambling.
Societal tolerance and acceptance of legal gambling can change rapidly. Scandals and political control by gaming interests have led to backlashes which result in regulation and/or prohibition.
Societal standards and laws related to gambling have tended to change back and forth from prohibition to regulation. These changes in law have led one noted observer, Professor I. Nelson Rose, to describe three waves of gambling regulation during the history of the colonies and the United States. 1 The first wave began during the colonial period and lasted until the mid-1800s. The second wave commenced at the close of the Civil War and lasted until the early 20th century. The last wave started during the Great Depression and is still going strong. Because of the length and size of this last wave, another observer has characterized it as an explosion, not a wave. 2
The First Wave: 1600's to mid 1800's
The early colonies had very different attitudes towards gambling. Historians have classified the early settlers into two groups, the English who brought along the English traditions and beliefs, and the Puritans. Although the Puritans came from England, they came to the new world to create a better society and discard the values of their mother country. To them, the new world represented an opportunity for establishing a society grounded on Puritan values and beliefs.
Entire colonies were established along the guidelines and beliefs of one group or another. In particular, different attitudes towards gambling were enforced. In New England and Pennsylvania, Puritan attitudes toward gaming and play were adopted. The Puritan-led Massachusetts Bay Colony outlawed not only the possession of cards, dice, and gaming tables (even in private homes), but also dancing and singing. This stance was relaxed slightly the following year so as to allow gaming as long as it was for innocent and moderate recreation and not as a trade or calling. This hostility towards the professional gambler is a common theme that will be seen again as we look at the history of U.S. gambling.
In other colonies, English attitudes towards gambling and recreation prevailed. These settlers brought with them the view that gambling was a harmless diversion. In these colonies, gambling was a popular and accepted activity. Legal gambling tended to be those types that were considered proper gentlemen's diversions. For example, it took a long time for cock-fighting to become legal because it was not considered a suitable game for gentlemen.
One prominent researcher speculates that the appeal of gambling was probably heightened by the frontier spirit. The desire to explore new worlds is similar to gambling. Both rely heavily on high expectations, risk taking, opportunism, and movement. 3
Despite the acceptance, gambling began to be blamed for the problems of the colonies. To investors and others in England, the prevalence of gambling suggested an atmosphere of idleness and vice. Financiers began to suspect that it was the root cause of the inability of the colonies to sustain themselves. 4 The colonies had been relying on England to supply provisions and to replace dying settlers.
Lotteries Used to Bail Out the Early Colonies. Although the financial backers of the colonies viewed gambling as a source of the colonies' problems, they began to see it as the solution as well. The Virginia Company of London, the financier of Jamestown in Virginia, was permitted by the Crown to hold lotteries to raise money for the company's colonial venture. The lotteries were relatively sophisticated and included instant winners. Eventually, the crown banned the lotteries because of complaints that they were robbing England of money. 5 The company dissolved shortly thereafter.
This episode was not the last use of lotteries to benefit the colonies. All 13 original colonies established lotteries, usually more than one, to raise revenue. Playing the lottery became a civic responsibility. 6 Proceeds helped establish some of the nation's earliest and most prestigious universities -- Harvard, Yale, Columbia, Dartmouth, Princeton, and William and Mary. Lottery funds were also used to build churches and libraries. Ben Franklin, John Hancock, and George Washington were all prominent sponsors of specific lotteries for public works projects.
Lotteries became an issue in the drive for independence of the colonies. The colonies protested the crown's rules for holding lotteries. In 1769, the crown tried to prevent lotteries from occurring without its permission. Once the war of independence started, the Continental Congress voted a $10 million lottery to finance the war. The lottery had to be abandoned, however, because it was too large and the tickets could not be sold.
The Popularity of Lotteries Continued in the Early 19th Century. Notable among the later lotteries was a private lottery passed by Congress in 1823 for the beautification of Washington D.C. Unfortunately, the organizers absconded with the proceeds and the winner was never paid.
Lotteries were not the only form of gambling during this era. Wagering on horse racing was a popular form of gambling. Not surprisingly, it was not quite as organized nor as elaborate as modern horse racing. Rather, the gambling was limited to a few friendly bets between owners of horses and their partisans. The first racetrack in North America was built on Long Island in 1665.
Casino gaming started slowly. Taverns and roadhouses would allow dice and card games. The relatively sparse population was a barrier to establishing gaming houses. But as the population increased, by the early 1800s lavish casinos were established in the young republic.
The United States and Gambling Move West. As previously mentioned, gambling and the frontier lifestyle shared similar foundations -- a spirit of adventure, opportunity, and risk taking. During the early 1800s gambling in the lower Mississippi Valley became a legitimate and organized enterprise. The Mississippi River and connected waterways were major avenues of trade for farmers and merchants and the river boats carried passengers who had lots of cash. The south tended to have a more open attitude towards gaming, reflecting the Spanish, French, and early Virginian traditions. 7 New Orleans became the capital for gambling.
Gambling establishments were started in the river towns and were popular haunts for both travelers and professional gamblers. These gamblers preyed upon these cash-laden travelers who were, "Seduced by the bright prospects of their business deals as well as by the transience of the river frontier..." 8 These professional gamblers, also known as sharps or sharpers, generally were dishonest and often turned to confidence games and cheating to make money.
During the 1830's, the actions of the professional gamblers came under growing scrutiny and southern settlers turned against the professional gambler. The professional gamblers were blamed for limiting economic growth, interfering with business, endangering the streets, committing numerous crimes, and debasing the morality of the society. Vigilantism was one method by which the anti-professional gambler sentiment manifested itself. Groups of citizens organized to push the gamblers out of the South.
In 1835, a vigilante group lynched five cardsharps in Mississippi. Professional gamblers moved from the town into the riverboats. Lynching proved to be a successful policy option for reducing the presence of professional gamblers. In contrast to the river boat casinos of today, the old-time river boats were not floating casinos. Gambling occurred informally among the passengers. The period between 1840 and 1860 represented the glory days of the flashy riverboat gambler. The professional gamblers also moved to California, a history we cover in the next section.
The First Wave of Legal Gambling Draws to an End. During the early 1800's, gambling came under increasing attack. There was always a group opposing gambling on moral grounds. This opposition was largely based on religious beliefs. 9 The flames of opposition were fanned, however, by the prevalence of scandals and the belief that the poor were being targeted, especially by lotteries. This opposition drew strength from the larger climate of social reform. Issues such as temperance, women's rights, educational reform, prison reform, and abolition of slavery were on the minds of many. Although there was strong sentiment to avoid interference with market forces, there was a countervailing view that people should behave in a virtuous way and that meant no gambling. 10
The attack against gambling was focused particularly on lotteries because it represented a form of wagering that was offensive to both the moral sensibilities of reformers, and the Jacksonian resentment toward privilege. 11 The exclusive charters granted to lottery operations were examples of this form of privilege. Ironically, President Jackson was an inveterate gambler 12 and had such a history of problems that he must be viewed as a likely addictive or compulsive gambler. His gambling was well-known but tended to be seen as the behavior of a gentleman, hence he was reserved the disapprobation held for commercial gamblers.
Lottery Scandals Led to Gambling Prohibition. As noted earlier, lottery for the beautification of the nation's capital ended in scandal with the operators absconding with the proceeds. This incident illustrated the problems with the lotteries of that time as many were crooked. Increasing evidence of fraud and dishonesty in the operations of lotteries added to the opposition. 13 An additional argument was that they corrupted the free press and made them captive to their huge demand for advertising. 14
The antilottery forces fought against lotteries and prevailed. In 1833 Pennsylvania, New York, and Massachusetts put an end to state authorized lotteries. By 1840, most states had banned lotteries. By 1860, only Delaware, Missouri, and Kentucky still allowed state-authorized lotteries. Nevertheless, the tickets of these few states were shipped around the country by mail or smugglers. The prohibition also led to the creation of illegal lotteries.
The demise of the riverboat gambler had more to do with circumstance than direct action by the people. Emergence of railroads and the outbreak of the Civil War were the precipitating factors. Travel by steamboats declined as railroads started to supplant steamboats as the favored method of transportation. Trains were more reliable and were faster than the riverboats. The Civil War interrupted virtually all river travel and abruptly diminished gambling in that area.
The end of the first wave did not result in an end to all legal gambling. The prohibition was selective in terms of type of gambling and location. The frontier areas, California included, saw a great deal of gambling after the end of the first wave. Because of the wholesale fraud, lotteries were targeted for prohibition, but gambling in posh clubs were still legal in New York. Horse racing survived the end of the first wave relatively unscathed. As such it is more difficult to draw a clear distinction between the end of the first wave and the beginning of the second. As we shall see later, the demarcation between second and third waves are much clearer.
It was also during this time that the Grimaldis sold a concession for gaming in an attempt to keep their principality, Monaco, from going bankrupt. Monte Carlo was opened in 1858 by gambling operators who had been forced to leave Hamburg, Germany after popular opinion turned against gambling. The public disfavor in Germany occurred because of the charge that legalized gaming was turning the city into a nest of paupers.
Second Wave: Mid-1800's to Early 1900's
The expansion of the western frontier spurred the second wave. As the country moved westward, the frontier spirit continued to spread. Mining booms increased the rush to the Far West. Miners lured by the promises of easy and abundant riches, personified the frontier spirit better than the explorers before them. Mining was a gamble, and risk-taking was valued for it represented an opportunity for great wealth. These were restless and ambitious people who had high expectations. 15 Probably nowhere was this more apparent than in California.
Gold Rush Set Off a Gambling Boom in California. The gold rush brought a huge increase in the amount and types of gambling to California. San Francisco replaced New Orleans as the center for gambling in the United States. The market for gambling space was so strong that a mere canvas tent, 15 by 25 feet, cost $40,000 annually, payable in advance with gold dust.
The apex of California gambling was from 1849 to 1855. Gambling became widespread throughout the state whether it was in Mexican towns like Monterey, mountain towns like Mariposa, or growing cities such as Sacramento. During this period, gambling tended to be integrated. Patrons included women, blacks, and Chinese. By 1850, both the state and cities were licensing gambling establishments to raise money.
As settlers spread beyond California, so did gambling. In general, gambling and the west were intimately linked. Gambling was especially widespread in the mining camps that multiplied as the miners spread across the west searching for new strikes.
Public Opinion Quickly Turns Against Gambling. Laws against gamblers and gambling began to be enacted in California. As with the rest of the United States, the desire for respectability and a recognition of the social ills tied to gaming led to limits on gambling. The Legislature made most types of gambling illegal. However, the Legislature's initial aim was more to target the professional gambler than gaming in general. Gamblers were affiliated with municipal corruption and were blamed for the depression that was occurring at the time. 16 Lynching of professional gamblers occurred in San Francisco in 1856, in part a result of the fight for political control of the city. The gamblers were strong backers of one political faction.
Initially, the state laws were weak and had little real effect on gambling. The statutes outlawed specific games, making the laws difficult to enforce as new and unnamed variants were used and only light penalties were provided. However, the laws were gradually strengthened. In 1860, all banking games were banned. (Banking games are those where the player bets against the house.) Initially, the laws tended to focus on those who ran the games, not the players. In 1885, this was changed so that it was illegal to play. Finally in 1891, the statutes made the penalty for playing equal to the penalty for running the game.
The Prohibition Did Not Eliminate Gambling But Drove it Underground. Even in California, where most gambling was illegal, the first slot machine was invented and premiered in San Francisco in 1895. 17 It was not specifically outlawed until 1911.
Nevada bounced between legalizing and banning gaming. Gambling was legal in Nevada between 1869 and 1910. As a result, gaming activity moved from California to places such as Virginia City, Nevada. Although legally protected, during this time gambling never reached the size in Nevada that it did in San Francisco.
Another effect of the antigambling laws was to stratify gaming activity more. One result was the prevalence of Chinese gaming houses that catered only to Chinese. There were also large Chinese-run lotteries that appealed to non-Chinese. Enforcement of the gaming laws became a method of discrimination. During times of strong anti-Chinese sentiment the gaming laws were enforced more vigorously against Chinese establishments. 18 One operator in San Francisco who alleged discrimination took a case to the U.S. Supreme Court, but lost because he could not show that people who were not Chinese violated the law, but were not prosecuted.
Los Angeles also had gaming activity, but it was overshadowed by San Francisco. Like the city itself, gaming in Los Angeles had more of a Hispanic flavor and occurred on a smaller scale. The city eventually banned gambling which led to a number of illegal clubs and the spread to permissive suburbs.
Lotteries Began a Comeback. Following a long national tradition, the South turned to lotteries to generate revenue to rebuild the war-ravaged region. The Louisiana lottery was the most notable because of its unseemly end. In 1868, the Louisiana Lottery Company was authorized and granted a 25-year charter. A carpetbagger criminal syndicate from New York bribed the Legislature into passing the lottery law and establishing the syndicate as the sole lottery provider. 19 The Louisiana Lottery was an interstate venture with over 90% of the company's revenue coming from outside Louisiana. This lottery was a prolific money maker. Attempts to repeal the 25-year charter were defeated with assistance of bribes to legislators.
Scandals and antigaming sentiment led to additional state and federal legislation against lotteries. In particular, religious leaders led the move against them. 20 By 1878, Louisiana was the last of the legal lotteries in the country. The Louisiana Lottery survived until Congress enacted a prohibition against moving lottery tickets across state lines by any method. This act led to the abolition of the Louisiana Lottery in 1895. When the lottery was disbanded, it was discovered that promoters had made huge sums of ill-gotten gains. The Legislature was riven with accusations of bribery. By the end of the century, thirty-five states, including California, had in their constitutions prohibitions against lotteries and no state permitted the operation of lotteries.
Lotteries Were Not the Only Source of Gambling Scandal. Horse racing was plagued by fraud. The odds and payouts were often faked. The parties taking the bets, known as the bookmakers, often owned horses and were able to influence the race. "Ringers," horses that were fraudulent substitutes and were either much quicker or slower than the expected entry, were often raced.
The second wave of legal gambling, was relatively short-lived. Scandals and the rise of Victorian morality led to the end of legal gambling. By 1910, virtually all forms of gambling were prohibited in the U.S. The only legal betting that occurred was in three states which allowed horse racing, but even that number shrank in the ensuing years. 21 The feelings against gambling ran so strong that Arizona and New Mexico were forced to outlaw casinos to gain statehood. 22 However, the prohibition did not stop gambling. There were many types of illegal gambling houses. Some operated openly for many years. They, of course, had to pay protection money to the law enforcement authorities.
Third Wave (Early 1930's to Present)
The great depression led to a much greater legalization of gambling. The antigambling mood changed as tremendous financial distress gripped the country, especially after the stock market crash of 1929. Legalized gambling was looked upon as a way to stimulate the economy. Massachusetts decriminalized bingo in 1931 in an attempt to help churches and charitable organizations raise money. Bingo was legal in 11 states by the 1950s, usually only for charity purposes.
Horse racing and parimutuel wagering began to make a comeback. In 1933, Michigan, New Hampshire, Ohio, and California legalized parimutuel betting. The California Legislature adopted a statute in 1933 referred to as the Horse Racing Act. The statutes took effect upon adoption by the voters of an amendment to the Constitution in June of 1933. During the 1930's, 21 states brought back racetracks. New laws and automated systems made horse racing much more honest than during the 1800s.
Coincident with resurgence of legal gambling was a crackdown on illegal gambling, in part because illegal gambling had become so prevalent. A backlash developed and reform candidates were swept into office in New York where Fiorella La Guardia replaced Jimmy Walker and in Chicago where Anton Cermak pushed out "Big" Bill Thompson. Theater-goers were treated to newsreels of Mayor La Guardia taking a sledge hammer to slot machines and pushing them off the barge into the city's ocean dump. District Attorney Thomas Dewey ran an aggressive campaign against mobsters who were involved in gambling.
Crackdown on Organized Crime Sent Mobsters to California. The crackdown in the east had implications for California. Because of the pressure from law enforcement agencies, New York mobsters, including the infamous Benjamin "Bugsy" Siegel, moved to the West Coast. His role was to expand gaming and bookmaking operations for organized crime. Eventually, publicity was directed on him during an investigation of mob ties with the film unions, forcing him to move to Las Vegas.
At the same time, scrutiny also resulted in the closing of the floating casinos. The most famous was the Rex, a floating casino operated by organized crime that was anchored just outside the three-mile limit of state jurisdiction. Gamblers were taken out to Rex in excursion boats. The Rex and some gaming ships that operated out of San Francisco Bay were eventually closed down by law enforcement authorities.
Nevada Legalized Most Forms of Gambling in the State in 1931. The Nevada Legislature was motivated to build on the tourism boom that was expected in the wake of the completion of Boulder, now Hoover, Dam. Nevada had a flourishing, albeit illegal, gambling industry prior to the legalization. The move for making gambling legal also grew out of concerns that the flourishing illegal gambling was corrupting law enforcement and prohibition was unenforceable. 23 Gaming in Nevada struggled from its inception until after World War II, when the prosperity of post-war America started a boom in the fledgling industry.
The Nevada gaming industry was helped by events in California. As stated, the gambling ships that used to leave from California ports were shut down. Municipal reform in Los Angeles kicked out many of the thriving illegal gambling businesses. These establishments were run by organized crime who moved to Nevada where their skills were desperately needed to launch the new legal gambling industry.
Organized Crime Syndicates Were Early Supporters of Gaming and Invested Heavily. Many casinos in Nevada were financed by mobsters. Most notable perhaps was Las Vegas' Flamingo which was opened in 1947 by Bugsy Siegel. Even though he had an extensive and violent criminal record, Bugsy Siegel was able to get a gaming license. Most notable of his criminal exploits was his role in arranging the murder of New York mobster "Dutch" Schultz by the infamous "Murder Inc." Today, even the hint of any such activity would be sufficient to deny a license.
Part of the reason for Mr. Siegel's success was due to his connection to the underworld. Wartime shortages did not slow down his plans because of his ties to the black market and his political connections. 24 The lavish casino he built opened with such stars as Jimmy Durante, Xavier Cougat, and George Raft. The Flamingo helped establish Las Vegas, rather than Reno, as the destination for high rollers. Reportedly Mr. Siegel used too much of the mob's money on what was initially a unprofitable operation. Within the year, Mr. Siegel was gunned down at a Beverly Hills mansion.
Senate Investigated Mob Influence in Casinos. During the 1950s, the Senate Committee to Investigate Organized Crime in Interstate Commerce held a number of hearings on criminal influence in the casino industry. The committee was chaired by Senator Estes Kefauver, and the committee is also known by his name. The committee found widespread evidence of skimming, which sheltered gambling profits from taxes. The prevalence of crime left gaming once again on the verge of a national prohibition. 25 The result of the committee's findings was a crackdown on criminal influence and a cleansing of the casino industry. Eventually, the mob sold their casino interests to lawful individuals and publicly-traded companies.
The link between organized crime and gambling was a factor in four state elections on legal gaming. 26 In 1950, voters in California, Montana, Arizona, and Massachusetts voted against legal casino gaming. The California proposition would have established a state board to run all gaming operations with the proceeds going for old-age benefits. It lost by a wide margin.
Lotteries Begin Their Resurgence. From 1894 to 1964, there were no legal government-sponsored lotteries operating in the United States. This ban led to a paradox: lotteries were widely played, but always illegal. One of the most well known was the Irish sweepstakes which began in 1930 for the purpose of raising money for hospitals in Ireland. Although it was not legal to sell tickets in the U.S. or to ship them here, they were smuggled into the country. Participation was high with about 13 percent of the country having ever bought a ticket. 27
Another prominent form of lottery was the illegal "numbers" game. Despite the illegality, numbers was quite popular. One author claimed that the amount being wagered on numbers was $5 billion in 1960. 28 Another estimate shows that the numbers game was grossing $20 million annually in Chicago alone during the early 1970s and the total handle was $1.1 billion. 29
Growing opposition to tax increases was a leading factor in establishing state-run lotteries in the 20th century. In 1964 New Hampshire was the first state to sponsor a lottery, followed by New York in 1967. New Jersey launched the first financially successful modern lottery in 1971. The New Jersey lottery was successful because it stressed frequent action at low cost, and it returned a higher percentage of lottery revenues as prizes. There were also various attempts to legalize a national lottery, but they failed to be passed by Congress.
In 1978, New Jersey became the second state to legalize casino gambling in an attempt to revitalize the rundown resort area of Atlantic City. The legalization was restricted only to Atlantic City. In the late 1800's to the early 1900's, Atlantic City was a popular resort town, boosted by the new rail service which linked the Northeast. Day trips to the Jersey shore were now possible and affordable. But its popularity dwindled when air travel became easily accessible. Upscale tourists chose beach resorts in Florida, the Bahamas, and the Caribbean over Atlantic City. Visitors to Atlantic City in the 1960's and 1970's were generally elderly and/or poor. Casino gaming was expected to be a way for Atlantic City to become a popular tourist destination once again.
What Could End Gambling's Third Wave? The first and second waves ended in part because of a resurgence of public concern about morality and scandals in gaming. People can live with adverse odds but not cheating. 30 What kind of events could lead to scandals today? If lotteries were plagued by fraud that would probably have an impact on people's perceptions. Another route is through problems and scandal in sports gambling. Pete Rose is a symbol of what gambling can do to a person. What happens if a sports hero is more interested in winning a bet than a game? Could such a scandal impact legalized gaming?
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Ti Amo means I Love You in which language? | 100 Ways to Say 'I Love You' in Italian
100 Ways to Say 'I Love You' in Italian
Italian Terms of Love, Affection, and Endearment
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Ti voglio baciare!. Getty Images/Photodisc/Getty Images
Updated February 25, 2016.
Whether it's an operatic aria, a love poem, or whispered sweet nothings, many people think that the phrase "I love you" is best voiced in Italian (which is, after all, a romance language ). There are many ways to express the sentiment "I love you" in Italian , so how to choose? Partly it will depend on the relationship and the depth of feeling. Keep in mind, too, that there's a difference between "ti amo" and "ti voglio" —many About.com Italian Language forum members who are native Italian speakers have explained in minute detail the nuances and appropriateness of those two expressions.
There are many instances in which expressions of love and commitment are used, such as getting engaged in Italy, marriage vows in Italian and Italian pop lyrics about love, lust, and romance, and, of course, tattoos that express love for Mom . Most important, context is all. In the end, like many linguistic terms, it's best to be less literal and more figurative when considering the most appropriate term
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How to Say "I Love You" in Italian
100 Ways to Say I Love You in Italian
Here's how to express your love, lust, like, or feigned interest to that certain someone, or how to tell your parents, family members, or friends that you love them. One thing to keep in remember: the translations in English are not always literal, but correspond to the sense—and vice versa.
Ti amo! (I love you!)
Ti voglio bene. (I love you a lot.)
Ti voglio molto bene. (I love you very much.)
Mi piaci molto. (I really like you.)
Ti adoro. (I adore you.)
Ti ammiro. (I admire you.)
Sei importante per me. (You are important to me.)
Sei tutto per me. (You are everything to me.)
Sono innamorato / innamorata di te. (I'm in love with you.)
Ho bisogno di te. (I need you.)
Ti voglio. (I love you.))
Ti desidero. (I want you.)
Mi sento attratto / attratta da te. (I feel attracted attracted to you.)
Mi sono infatuato di te. (I'm infatuated with you.)
Ho un debole per te. (I'm weak for you.)
Significhi tutto per me. (You mean everything to me.)
Mi sono affezionato / affezionata a te.
(I am fond of you.)
Sposami! (Marry me!)
Voglio sempre essere con te. (I always want to be with you.)
Senza di te non posso più vivere. (I can't live without you.)
Ti voglio baciare. (I want to kiss you.)
Io sono tuo / tua. (I am yours)
Senza di te non sono niente. (Without you I am nothing.)
Sei l'uomo / la donna dei miei sogni! (You're the man / woman of my dreams!)
Per te farei di tutto! (I would do anything for you!)
Sono pazzo / pazza di te. (I'm crazy about you.)
Sono abbagliato da te. (I am dazzled by you.)
Sei il grande amore della mia vita. (You are the love of my life.)
Senza di te la vita non ha più senso. (Without you life has no meaning.)
Il mio cuore è solo tuo / tua. (My heart is yours.)
Hai conquistato il mio cuore. (You have won my heart.)
Giorno e notte sogno solo di te. (Day and night I dream only of you.)
Mi hai incantato / incantata. (You have charmed / enchanted me.)
Sei l'uomo / la donna della mia vita! (You're the man / woman of my life!)
Sei il sole della mia vita. (You are the sunshine of my life.)
Sei tutto ciò che voglio. (You're everything I want.)
Ti voglio un mondo di bene. (I want a world of good.)
Con te voglio invecchiare. (I want to grow old with you.)
Ti voglio sempre avere al mio fianco. (I always want you by my side.)
Senza di te la vita è un inferno. (Without you life is hell.)
Da quando ti conosco la mia vita è un paradiso. (Since I met you my life is a paradise.)
Resta sempre con me! (Stay with me always!)
Mi hai stregato / stregata. (You have bewitched me.)
Potrei guardarti tutto il giorno. (I could watch you all day.)
Solo tu mi capisci! (Only you understand me!)
Sono ubriaco / ubriaca di te. (I am drunk with you.)
Nei tuoi occhi c'è il cielo. (Heaven is in your eyes.)
Se non ci fossi dovrei inventarti. (If you weren't, I'd invent you.)
Tu sei un dono del cielo. (You are a gift from the heavens.)
Con te voglio passare la mia vita. (I want to spend my life with you.)
| Italian |
Which Elvis Presley film has the word love in the title and is the only one in which his character dies? | 1000+ images about Ti amo! on Pinterest | Italy italy, Posts and Keep calm
Ti Amo written in chocolate on a Cappuccino,means I Love You in Italian
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Who discovered penicillin on Valentine's Day in 1929? | Penicillin discovered - Feb 14, 1929 - HISTORY.com
Penicillin discovered
Publisher
A+E Networks
Sir Alexander Fleming was a young bacteriologist when an accidental discovery led to one of the great developments of modern medicine on this day in 1929. Having left a plate of staphylococcus bacteria uncovered, Fleming noticed that a mold that had fallen on the culture had killed many of the bacteria. He identified the mold as penicillium notatum, similar to the kind found on bread. On February 14, 1929, Fleming introduced his mold by-product called penicillin to cure bacterial infections.
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What was the name of the car in the film The Love Bug? | Penicillin: the first miracle drug
Penicillin: the first miracle drug
Early penicillin culture facility at the Sir William Dunn School of Pathology, Oxford, England.
© Museum of the History of Science, Oxford
Many of you are here only because penicillin saved your life, or the life of one of your parents or grandparents. Penicillin's ability to cure people of many once-fatal bacterial infections has saved so many lives that it is easy to understand why it was once called a "miracle drug".
Antibiotics are chemicals, effective at very low concentrations, created as part of the life process of one organism, which can kill or stop the growth of a disease-causing microbe--a germ. In 1929, Alexander Fleming, a doctor and researcher at St. Mary's Hospital in London, England, published a paper on a chemical he called "penicillin", which he had isolated from from a mold, Penicillium notatum. Penicillin, Fleming wrote, had prevented the growth of a neighboring colony of germs in the same petri dish. Dr. Fleming was never able to purify his samples of penicillin, but he became the first person to publish the news of its germ-killing power. Howard Florey, Ernst Chain and Norman Heatley expanded on Fleming's work in 1938, at Oxford University. They and their staff developed methods for growing, extracting and purifying enough penicillin to prove its value as a drug.
World War II (1939-1945) had begun by the time their research was showing results. The main research and production was moved to the United States in 1941, to protect it from the bombs pounding England. Work began on how to grow the mold efficiently to make penicillin in the large quantities that would be needed for thousands of soldiers. As the destruction of the war grew, so did interest in penicillin in laboratories, universities and drug companies on both sides of the Atlantic. The scientists knew they were in a race against death, because an infection was as likely to kill a wounded soldier as his wound.
Photograph courtesy
Chains of conidia (spores) produced by hyphal branch from mycelium
Photograph courtesy of Associated Press
Sir Alexander Fleming, 1952
Creating the right environment for growth was the first step in producing enough penicillin to be used as a drug. In Oxford, experiments showed that Penicillium notatum grew best in small shallow containers on a broth of nutrients. Penicillium need lots of air. In the United States, it was discovered that huge "deep fermentation" tanks could be used if sterilized air was pumped continually through the tanks. Production increased even more when corn steep liquor, a thick, sticky by-product of corn processing, was added to the tanks. Corn steep liquor contained concentrated nutrients that increased the yield 12-20 times. Formerly considered a waste material, corn steep liquor became a crucial ingredient in the large-scale production of penicillin.
Scientists were also determined to find another strain of Penicillium that might grow better in the huge deep fermentation tanks. Army pilots sent back soil samples from all over the world to be tested for molds. Residents of Peoria, Illinois, were encouraged to bring moldy household objects to the local U.S. Department of Agriculture laboratory, where penicillin research was being conducted. Laboratory staff members also kept an eye out for promising molds while grocery shopping or cleaning out their refrigerators.
Photograph courtesy of Merck Archives, ©Merck & Co. Inc.
Refrigeration equipment for large fermentation unit at Cherokee Plant, Danville, PA.
Photograph courtesy of Merck Archives, ©Merck & Co. Inc.
Fermentation unit used in purifying penicillin in 1945.
Photograph courtesy of Merck Archives, ©Merck & Co. Inc.
Upper part of fermentors (tanks) used to produce penicillin and vitamin B12.
In 1943, laboratory worker Mary Hunt brought in an ordinary supermarket cantaloupe infected with a mold that had "a pretty, golden look." This Penicillium species, Penicillium chrysogenum grew so well in a tank that it more than doubled the amount of penicillin produced. The deep fermentation method, the use of corn steep liquor and the discovery of P. chrysogenumby Mary Hunt made the commercial production of penicillin possible. Researchers continued to find higher-yielding Penicillium molds, and also produced higher yielding strains by exposing molds to x-rays or ultraviolet light.
Penicillin kills by preventing some bacteria from forming new cell walls. One by one, the bacteria die because they cannot complete the process of division that produces two new "daughter" bacteria from a single "parent" bacterium. The new cell wall that needs to be made to separate the "daughters" is never formed.
Some bacteria are able to resist the action of antibiotic drugs, including penicillin. Antibiotic resistance occurs because not all bacteria of the same species are alike, just as people in your own family are not exactly alike. Eventually, the small differences among the bacteria often mean that some will be able to resist the attack of an antibiotic. If the sick person's own defenses can not kill off these resistant bacteria, they will multiply. This antibiotic-resistant form of a disease can re-infect the patient, or be passed on to another person.
Taking antibiotics for viral illnesses like colds can also cause antibiotic resistant bacteria to develop. Antibiotics have no effect on viruses, but it will kill off harmless and even the beneficial bacteria living in the patient's body. The surviving resistant bacteria, free from competition, will live and multiply and may eventually cause disease.
Patients with bacterial infections, who don't finish their antibiotic prescriptions completely, also allow resistant bacteria to develop. This happens because a small number of semi-resistant bacteria, which needed the full course of antibiotics to kill them, survive. Instead of being a small part of the bacteria causing an infection, the more resistant bacteria take over when sensitive bacteria are killed by the antibiotic.
Today, in the United States, deaths by infectious bacterial diseases are only one-twentieth of what they were in 1900, before any antibiotic chemicals had been discovered. The main causes of death today are what are referred to as "the diseases of old age": heart disease, kidney disease and cancer. We would be shocked to hear of someone dying from an infection that started in a scratch, but, before antibiotics like penicillin, it was common for people to die from such infections.
Humans can slow the creation of antibiotic resistant diseases by understanding the uses and limits of antibiotics. Take all of an antibiotic, and only take them when prescribed by a doctor. Research to develop new antibiotics to treat resistant bacteria continues, but research takes time. Time is running out because the world's biodiversity is decreasing--the source of half of our disease-fighting chemicals.
An example of the importance of preserving the world's biodiversity occurred in 1996, in New York state. Students at Cornell University collected a fungus that finally made it possible to identify the two very different life stages of the mold that produces the drug cyclosporin. Cyclosporin prevents the rejection of transplanted organs. Without it, transplant operations would be impossible. Knowing the full life history of the cyclosporin-producing fungus may make it easier to find related molds. Even people who see no special beauty or value in the world's biodiversity may one day benefit from the currently unknown and powerful substances, produced by fungi and other microbes, that are waiting for discovery in familiar places.
WEB RESOURCES:
Lewis, Ricki. "The Rise of Antibiotic-Resistant Infections". FDA Consumer Magazine, 1995, and U. S. Food and Drug Administration web site. (www.fda.gov/fdac/features/795_antibio.html)
The Penicillin Memorial and Rose Garden [with text], The Oxford Virtual Science Walk, Museum of the History of Science, Oxford, England. The partial image of the memorial was taken by Sophie Huxley, © Huxley Scientific Press. She notes that further down on the memorial, after a brief description of the Oxford group's work, are the words "All Mankind Is In Their Debt." (www.mhs.ox.ac.uk/features/walk/loc2.htm)
READING:
These books are currently out-of-print, but your local library may be able to borrow them for you by interlibrary loan.
Gray, William D. The Relation of Fungi to Human Affairs. New York: Henry Holt and Company, Inc., 1959.
Jacobs, Francine. Breakthrough: The True Story of Penicillin. New York: Dodd, Mead & Company, 1985. (ISBN 0-396-08579-2)
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Which brothers' last film was called Love Happy? | Love Happy (1949) - IMDb
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The Marx Brothers help young Broadway hopefuls while thwarting diamond thieves.
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The Marx Brothers are employed at a hotel in postwar Casablanca, where a ring of Nazis is trying to recover a cache of stolen treasure.
Director: Archie Mayo
A detective is hired to protect the life of a singer, who has recently inherited a department store, from the store's crooked manager.
Director: Charles Reisner
The Marx Brothers come to the rescue in the Wild West when a young man, trying to settle an old family feud so he can marry the girl he loves, runs afoul of crooks.
Director: Edward Buzzell
The Marx Brothers try to help the owner of a circus recover some stolen funds before he finds himself out of a job.
Director: Edward Buzzell
A penniless theatrical producer must outwit the hotel efficiency expert trying to evict him from his room, while securing a backer for his new play.
Director: William A. Seiter
Agent has his only client pose as both a French chanteuse and Brazilian bombshell to fool nightclub owner.
Director: Alfred E. Green
Quincy Adams Wagstaff, the new president of Huxley University, hires bumblers Baravelli and Pinky to help his school win the big football game against rival Darwin University.
Director: Norman Z. McLeod
During the Florida land boom, the Marx brothers run a hotel, auction off some land, thwart a jewel robbery, and generally act like themselves.
Directors: Robert Florey, Joseph Santley
Stars: Groucho Marx, Harpo Marx, Chico Marx
On a transatlantic crossing, the Marx brothers get up to their usual antics and manage to annoy just about everyone on board the ship.
Director: Norman Z. McLeod
A veterinarian posing as a doctor, a race-horse owner and his friends struggle to help keep a sanitarium open with the help of a misfit race-horse.
Director: Sam Wood
Mayhem and zaniness ensue when a valuable painting goes missing during a party in honor of famed African explorer Captain Spaulding.
Director: Victor Heerman
A 65-year-old printer hatches an elaborate scheme to avoid forced retirement.
Director: Harmon Jones
Edit
Storyline
Young hopefuls trying to stage a Broadway show on a shoestring are sustained with food by expert shoplifter Harpo. They little suspect that his donations include the special sardine can hiding the Romanoff diamonds! Slinky Madame Egelichi and her henchmen will do anything to get them back, but the Marx Brothers lead them a merry chase. Written by Rod Crawford <[email protected]>
3 March 1950 (USA) See more »
Also Known As:
Mono (Western Electric Sound Recording)
Color:
Did You Know?
Trivia
When Harpo is being searched by the Zoto Brothers, and they're pulling things out of his coat, a mailbox is pulled out with the name "Moss Kaufman" on it. This is a play (no pun intended) on the playwrights, Kaufman and Hart (George S. Kaufman and Moss Hart). Kaufman collaborated on both THE COCOANUTS and ANIMAL CRACKERS for the Marx Brothers. Moss Hart & George S. Kaufman wrote THE MAN WHO CAME TO DINNER in which the character Banjo is based upon Harpo Marx. See more »
Goofs
The theatre's name changes from the Windsor to the Century and then back to the Windsor. See more »
Quotes
[Sam Grunion tries to follow Madam Egelichi but she halts him at gunpoint]
Detective Sam Grunion, narrator of the story : Oh, no. I'm not gonna follow you and get shot. If I was half-shot I'd follow you.
Sullen Groucho Fans Are Smearing a Funny Film
25 December 2004 | by Baravelli_the_ice_lady
(Somewhere in Freedonia) – See all my reviews
I've been a die-hard Marxist for several years now. After I watched their first seven films to the point where my tapes were in tatters, I sought out their later films, the lesser productions Room Service thru Night in Casablanca. After that, I still wanted more, so I finally gave in and watched the one film that I KNEW would be painful: Love Happy. Virtually every review has smeared this film and ripped into it with full claws, so I braced myself and bought the DVD.
Now let me tell you something: this movie is great. Of course it's not in the ballpark of the Paramounts, but it fits nicely with their later films, and is a real delight. So why the negative rap? Well, this movie was originally intended as a solo vehicle for Harpo Marx. Chico joined on when he needed money to get out of debt. Groucho was never supposed to be in this film, but the sponsors said that they wouldn't release it unless he was, so that they could bill it as a "Marx Brothers" picture. So footage of Groucho narrating parts of the story were shoehorned into the finished product. The result? Chico and Harpo are just as enchanting as ever, and Groucho--despite being displayed prominently on the movie posters--is relegated to a commentator. Since most Marx fans are Groucho fans first, Chico/Harpo fans second, this setup comes as a slap in the face, and the film gets trashed.
As such, if you watch the Marxes mainly to see Groucho's witty quips, this movie will bore you stiff. However, if you--like me--love the others just as much as Groucho (for me, Chico will ALWAYS be the funniest Marx Brother!) you'll be surprised at how good Love Happy really is. I'd go into the plot, but with a Marx movie, who really cares about the plot? It's our boys we're after. Chico plays an uproarious piano/violin duet, lusts after Ilona Massey, has some "tootsy-frootsy ice cream" and does some flawed mind-reading; Harpo tumbles through a washing machine, turns his fingers into candles, pulls a dog out of his coat and lusts after Ilona Massey. And Groucho narrates, searches, quips, ponders the situation, and...lusts after Ilona Massey. Oh!--and did I mention this film started the career of a young Marilyn Monroe?
In short, to a Chico/Harpo fan, this movie is as good as (and often better than) At the Circus or A Night in Casablanca. To a Groucho fan...well, that's why we have remote-controls.
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| Marx Brothers |
Which film starring Bill Murray includes the line Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic and so am I? | Comedy Films
COMEDY FILMS
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Examples
Earliest Comedy:
Cinematic comedy can be considered the oldest film genre (and one of the most prolific and popular). Comedy was ideal for the early silent films, as it was dependent on visual action and physical humor rather than sound. Slapstick, one of the earliest forms of comedy, poked fun at farcical situations of physical mishap and indignity, usually in pratfalls, practical jokes, accidents, acrobatic death-defying stunts, water soakings, or wild chase scenes with trains and cars. [Burlesque is another form of early comedy, characterized by unrefined and broad humor, designed to produce ridicule.] Pioneers in the early days of silent cinema and film-making, the Lumiere Brothers, included a short comedy film in their very first public screening in 1895 titled Watering the Gardener or "The Sprinkler Sprinkled" (L'Arroseur Arrose). Its predictable subject matter included a man with a garden watering hose who was tricked into being soaked by a prankster child.
Keystone Studios:
It took until 1912 for American comedy to emerge. The first comics were trained by performing in the circus, in burlesque, vaudeville (music halls), or pantomime. Film entrepreneur Mack Sennett, soon nicknamed "The King of Comedy" and "The Master of Slapstick Comedy," formed the Keystone Company (and Studios) in 1912 - it soon was the leading producer of slapstick and comic characters.
The major hallmark of Sennett's career work was inventive, visual, improvised comedy displayed in short silent films that moved frantically. His early short comedies featured wild slapstick chase finales, visual gags and stunts, and speedy, zany action. The action appeared all the more frantic and frenzied by his use of a filming technique whereby he shot the pictures at a slow camera speed, and then accelerated the frames in the projector during playback. He often cast vaudevillian, burlesque, and circus performers in his films. Those with exaggerated or grotesque looks (obese, cross-eyed, lanky, leering, pop-eyed, etc.) were chosen to add to the unreality of the situations. His most popular pictures involved his bumbling comedy policemen, the Keystone Cops. There would be flying pies, bricks, careening vehicles with people hanging off, crashes, and other dangerous-looking stunts. Cinema's first custard-pie-in-the-face was in Sennett's silent film comedy A Noise From the Deep (1913), in which comedian Mabel Normand, a farmgirl threw a pie into the kisser of obese farmhand Roscoe "Fatty" Arbuckle.
Eccentric comic artists (and character actors) included Arbuckle, Edgar Kennedy, Mabel Normand, zany and cross-eyed Ben Turpin, Mack Swain, Billy Bevan, Charley Chase and Chester Conklin. [Even Carole Lombard began her career at Keystone.] Charlie Chaplin got his start at Keystone (his first film was the short Making a Living (1914)) and made numerous short films from 1914-1919 (for Keystone, Essanay, Mutual, and First National), until his first full-length feature that he directed, wrote, and acted in, The Kid (1921) - see below.
The Silent Era Clowns
Roscoe "Fatty" Arbuckle:
Roscoe "Fatty" Arbuckle was one of the earliest silent film comedians (as well as director and screenwriter). He started out with the Selig Polyscope Company in 1909 (his first film was Ben's Kid (1909)), and then went onto Universal Pictures in 1913 where he appeared in several of Mack Sennett's Keystone Comedies films, noted for fast-paced chase sequences and 'pie-in-the-face' segments. Arbuckle was the first of the silent comedians to direct his own films, starting with Barnyard Flirtations (1914). His teaming with Mabel Normand at Keystone, in a series of "Fatty and Mabel" films, were lucrative for the studio.
In 1917, Arbuckle formed his own production company ("Comique Film Corporation") with producer Joseph Schenck which afforded more creative control, hiring Buster Keaton to star in his first film The Butcher Boy (1917). He used his 'fatness' as part of his sight gags, and his slightly-vulgar but sweet and playful character became extremely popular with younger audiences. By 1919, he had secured at $3 million/3-year contract with Paramount Pictures - the first multi-year, multi-million dollar deal for a Hollywood studio. It is little mentioned that Arbuckle mentored and aided Buster Keaton and Charlie Chaplin as they entered the film business, before his own downfall in the early 1920s. He was accused of the rape and murder of young starlet Virginia Rappe in San Francisco in a widely-publicized case -- and thoroughly chastised by Hearst's 'trial-by newspaper' (with soaring sales) and public condemnation. His career was over, although he was eventually fully acquitted of the act after three trials.
Charlie Chaplin:
Charlie Chaplin, a silent actor and pantomimist, was recruited in 1913 to Keystone from an English variety act (Chaplin was touring the US with Fred Karno's theatrical company), and became Sennett's most important discovery to add to his stock company of comedic actors. Chaplin made 36 short Keystone films for producer Mack Sennett in 1914. His first film was the short Keystone comedy Making a Living (1914), released in early February of 1914, in which Chaplin played an out-of-work swindler named Edgar English (with top hat and mustache). It was one of only a few Chaplin films where the actor did not play the Tramp character.
In Chaplin's second picture, the 11-minute Kid Auto Races in Venice (1914), the first released film (on February 7, 1914) with the Little Tramp character, he attended a 'baby-cart' race in Venice, California as an obnoxious spectator who kept interrupting the filming of the auto races. Released two days later (on February 9, 1914), although filmed earlier (and considered the first Tramp film), Mabel's Strange Predicament (1914) was the one in which the immortal, trademark Tramp character was born or invented. Although not named "The Tramp" (his character was a slapstick happy Drunk or Slicker), Chaplin wore the characteristic baggy pants, floppy oversized shoes, walking cane, tight coat, and small derby (or bowler) hat and walked with a funny stride. Late in the year, Chaplin appeared as another city slicker in Sennett's first feature-length feature film, Tillie's Punctured Romance (1914) opposite co-star Mabel Normand. It was the first feature length comedy film ever, and it was also notable as the last full-length film that Chaplin made that he didn't direct or write.
In 1915, Chaplin worked for the Essanay Film Manufacturing Company (in Chicago) as writer/director and star, where he made 15 films during the year. His first Tramp masterpiece and his 6th film for Essanay (released in April), The Tramp (1915), showed evidence of the refined development of the character and his personality (with less slapstick and more emotion). Then, he went on to produce a dozen two-reelers for Mutual Film Corporation in 1916-1917. The company formed "Lone Star Studios" solely for Chaplin's films. Classics that were made included The Floorwalker (1916), The Vagabond (1916), The Pawnshop (1916), The Rink (1916), Easy Street (1917), The Cure (1917), and The Immigrant (1917).
At First National beginning in 1918 through to 1923, Chaplin made nine films for his own production company. There were one major masterpiece during this time - it was his first full-length starring feature that he directed, titled The Kid (1921) which paired him with young Jackie Coogan. Then, beginning in 1923, Chaplin began to release his own films (all feature-length, and 8 in total) through his own film studio, United Artists. These were further examples of his talent with "silent" features, even though the silent era was ending and the sound era had arrived:
The Gold Rush (1925) , another full-length comedy and Chaplin's best silent film, with segments of poetic miming and classic slapstick
the exquisite
Modern Times (1936) , his satire on the machine-age
Chaplin resisted the coming of the talkies until his first talking picture The Great Dictator (1940). Another talkie was Limelight (1952) - a film with silent comedian Buster Keaton as co-star.
Buster Keaton:
One of the great silent clowns of the early comedic period was Buster Keaton, known for acrobatic visual gags, physical action, and for his deadpan, unsmiling, expression-less "stoneface." (His first name was a nickname given to him by Harry Houdini after he fell down some steps.) Keaton was first a vaudeville performer, performing and partnering quite often with former Keystone star and mentor Roscoe "Fatty" Arbuckle. He entered the profession of film-making in 1917 at the age of twenty-one as a supporting player, in his film debut The Butcher Boy (1917). Then, he started his own production company and became an actor in his own production unit in many excellent short films (usually two-reelers) from 1920-1923, including One Week (1920), Neighbors (1920), The High Sign (1921), The Boat (1921), The Haunted House (1921), The Playhouse (1921), The Paleface (1921), Hard Luck (1921), and The Frozen North (1922), but none as a repeating character.
A few years later, he also starred in a number of feature-length silents, his first being The Three Ages (1923). Among his best features were Our Hospitality (1923), The Navigator (1924), Sherlock, Jr. (1924), Go West (1925), Seven Chances (1925), and Battling Butler (1926). His most-acclaimed feature-length production was the fast-paced Civil War adventure tale of a railroad engine called
The General (1927) , which he soon followed with College (1927) and Steamboat Bill, Jr. (1928) . The latter film is known for one of the most suicidal stunts ever filmed - a falling wall with only a top-floor open window to save him from being flattened. [One of his last film appearances was as one of the 'waxworks' friends who plays bridge with silent film star Gloria Swanson in
Sunset Boulevard (1950) .]
Harold Lloyd:
Harold Lloyd, a popular silent clown, has been dubbed the 'third' genius or master of silent comedy - after Chaplin and Keaton. [An actor/producer, he actually outgrossed his better-known counterparts, by retaining ownership of his films and their profits.] Like them, Lloyd also spent some time in the early years with Mack Sennett, became known for realistic, daredevil stunts, and for his bespectacled, neat, innocent, noble-hearted, 'average Joe' characters. From 1915-1921, he produced a number of short films for Keystone and for major comedy producer Hal Roach, playing the character of Willie Work (debuting in his first starring film Just Nuts (1915) as a Chaplin-like character) and Lonesome Luke (first appearing in Lonesome Luke, Social Gangster (1915)).
Lloyd graduated to full-length features playing the part of a normal Everyman (or "Glasses Character") or "Boy" - which debuted in the short Look Out Below (1919). His last short was Never Weaken (1921). He became most identified with this 'boy'-next-door character (normally named Harold) with his most famous trademark - horn-rimmed glasses. His most-remembered film, the feature-length Safety Last (1923) , featured his perilous, memorable climb up a tall skyscraper's face that climaxed with his hanging off a giant clock. Lloyd's career lasted 34 years with over 200 comedies (mostly short subject featurettes, but including 11 silent features and 7 sound features). One of Lloyd's other greatest films was also his most successful, The Freshman (1925), in which he portrayed a college underclassman (Harold 'Speedy' Lamb) determined to redeem himself - on the football field. Other well-known films included Grandma's Boy (1922), Why Worry? (1923), Girl Shy (1924), The Kid Brother (1927), Speedy (1928) (his final silent film) and Movie Crazy (1932). His last film was released in 1947 - director Preston Sturges' The Sin of Harold Diddlebock (1947), retitled Mad Wednesday by co-producer Howard Hughes, re-edited and released by RKO in 1950.
Harry Langdon:
Another early comic performer was baby-faced, innocent, timid Harry Langdon, who also worked at Keystone. He experienced only a brief period of fame during the end of the silent era, although he could be placed in the same league as his three other comic contemporaries: Charlie Chaplin, Buster Keaton, and Harold Lloyd. His best feature film in a short four-year film career, The Strong Man (1926), was director Frank Capra's feature-film debut. The film predated Chaplin's
City Lights (1931) by several years with its plot of a meek man in love with a blind woman. Langdon also starred in two other hits: Tramp, Tramp, Tramp (1926) and Capra's Long Pants (1927) in which Langdon played his typical simple-minded, man/child role.
Larry Semon:
Another popular, second-level slapstick comedian in the silent era who made hundreds of two-reel shorts from 1916-1924 for Vitagraph and for the B-picture company, the Chadwick Pictures Corporation, was the charming, white-faced, smiling, and clownish Larry Semon. He began film work at Vitagraph in 1915 as comedy short gag writer and then as director in 1916. His first feature-length film was also his best known and most influential work - a remake and adaptation of Baum's The Wizard of Oz (1925), with Semon serving as both director and star - as the Scarecrow opposite Oliver Hardy (of the comic team) who played the Tin Woodsman. The film's release was highly publicized, but the public didn't like it - and it was essentially a failed effort. Afterwards, he took a supporting role in Josef Von Sternberg's classic film Underworld (1927), and his last film, after filing for bankruptcy, was A Simple Sap (1928), released posthumously after his prematurely-short life.
The 30s Clowns
With the coming of sound, slapstick went into a bit of a decline and the flexible freedom of the earliest comedians was curtailed. Comedy was transformed, however, and began to be refined as an art form, with new themes, elements, and written characterizations, and comedic humor was now being derived from clever dialogue. Visual comedy remained strong throughout the 1930s, but now witty dialogue and verbal comedy were added. Some of the great comedians or teams, including Laurel and Hardy, the Three Stooges, the Marx Brothers, and Abbott and Costello, or individuals such as radio star Jack Benny, Eddie Cantor, Joe E. Brown, W. C. Fields, and Mae West emerged. Hal Roach's company was responsible for other ground-breaking comedy shorts during the 1930s, including the popular "Our Gang" series that lasted until 1944.
Laurel and Hardy:
One of the greatest and most-beloved of the comedy teams was the one of British-born Stan Laurel and the fat-faced Oliver Hardy, first purposely teamed together toward the close of the silent era by producer Hal Roach in the slapstick film Slipping Wives (1926). They had first met, by accident, during the filming of Lucky Dog in 1917. Director Leo McCarey at Hal Roach Studios recognized their potential as a team and capitalized on their contrasting, disparate physical differences (Stan: the "thin" man and Oliver: the "fat" one - each with derby hats) and classic gestures (bewildered head-scratching, tie-twiddling, eye-blinking and baby-like weeping).
Although Laurel and Hardy worked together as a successful comedy team for 20 years (and were precursors of the 50s team Abbott and Costello), they were not equal partners - Stan considered himself the creative force and "brains" of the team. Their dozens of short films and twenty-seven feature-length films were produced over three decades (the 20s to the 40s), including such film classics as Sons of the Desert (1933) - arguably their best film, Way Out West (1937) , The Flying Deuces (1939), and A Chump At Oxford (1940). One of their funniest bits involved getting a piano up a set of stairs in The Music Box (1932). Laurel and Hardy's last Hollywood film was The Bullfighters (1945), capping a teamed career of almost twenty years. They were among the few actors who successfully made the transition from silents to talkies.
Plots of their hilarious films used situational mishaps or incidents to trigger chaos and personal jeopardy, usually with the dignified, superior-acting, pompous Ollie trying to succeed and boast, only to be frustrated, exasperated and sabotaged by the simple-mindedness, childishness and brainlessness of Stan. Audiences were amused by their endearing qualities of naivete, clumsiness, innocence, and stupidity as they sunk deeper and deeper into trouble, chaos, and self-destruction.
The Marx Brothers:
Once talkies emerged, the most famous and popular comedy team was the zany foursome of the Marx Brothers. They were the only real-life sibling comedy group in Hollywood history:
the witty, wise-cracking, ad-libbing, absurdly-punning, caustic, fast-talking Groucho (famous for his crouched walk, mustache, cigar, round glasses and leering eyes)
piano-playing, broken Italian-accented Chico, famous for distorted logic
the mischievous mute-pantomimist/harpist Harpo (with an old taxi horn and numerous harp solos), known for chasing girls
the straight-man Zeppo (who left the other brothers in 1933 after his performance in
Duck Soup (1933) , his fifth film)
Their comedy was a mixture of slapstick, sophisticated verbal comedy (often absurd and risque), zany anarchistic disrespect for the establishment, nonsensical action, and inspired buffoonery.
After almost two decades in vaudeville together, the brothers finally received widespread attention in their screen debut, The Cocoanuts (1929), filmed at Paramount's East Coast studios. Next were major box-office and critical successes - the film version of their Broadway play, Animal Crackers (1930) , Horse Feathers (1932) and their last film for Paramount - the political, anti-war satire/spoof
Duck Soup (1933) .
The Marx Brothers further developed their unique brand of absurdist, hilarious, slapstick comedy with a change to MGM Studios in the mid-30s. MGM's productions of
A Night at the Opera (1935) with its memorable scenes of the stateroom and a legal contract, and A Day at the Races (1937) were made at the height of their popularity. A frequent romantic foil for Groucho who appeared in a number of their films was Margaret Dumont, a memorable character actress. The film career of the Marx Brothers extended from 1929 to 1949. Marx Brothers Groucho, Chico and Harpo made their final film appearance as a team in Love Happy (1949), with a young 23 year-old Marilyn Monroe. Later on, Groucho became a star as an early TV game-show host.
W. C. Fields:
W. C. Fields is known for his recognizable raspy voice, pool cue, oversized bulbous nose and nasal drawl, stove-pipe hat, flask of 100-proof whiskey and love of drink, caustic verbal wit and wisecracks, and irritable disdain for small children, animals, upper-class snobs and bullying wives. The vaudeville star was an inspired comedian, a master of visual gags, double-takes, casual asides and pantomime. His film debut was in the silent one-reel comedy short Pool Sharks (1915), in which he showed off his pool-playing ability, and his first sound feature film was Warners' (and First National's) pre-code musical comedy Her Majesty, Love (1931). Fields usually wrote his own scripts and produced such classics for Paramount as It's A Gift (1934) and possibly his best film, The Bank Dick (1940) , in which he credited himself as screenwriter Mahatma Kane Jeeves. Another wacky contribution was Never Give a Sucker an Even Break (1941) (written with the pseudonym of Otis Criblecoblis) - his last starring role in a feature-length film. Fields was a natural while portraying a hen-pecked husband, a phony, an eccentric, a windbag, a non-conformist schemer, or a pompous charlatan.
Mae West:
Another contemporary, wise-cracking, drawling performer was the bold, blowsy and flirtatious Mae West who enjoyed titillating and shocking audiences with double entendre dialogue, sexual innuendo and a desire for sex, especially before the advent of the Hays Production Code. [One of her typical lines was: "Listen, when women go wrong, men go right after them."] Mae West starred in her own films, notably as a buxom burlesque queen and singer in an 1890s saloon in She Done Him Wrong (1933) , and as a circus floozy in I'm No Angel (1933) . She also appeared with Fields in their only film together: My Little Chickadee (1940).
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In which year did Charles, Duke of Orleans, send the first known Valentine's card? | Saint Valentine's Day: History of the Card
Valentine greetings have been popular since the Middle Ages, a time when prospective lovers said or sang their romantic verses. Written valentines began to appear after 1400. Paper valentines originated in the 1500s, being exchanged in Europe and being given in place of valentine gifts and oral or musical valentine greetings. They were particularly popular in England. The first written valentine (formerly known as "poetical or amorous addresses") is traditionally attributed to the imprisoned Charles, Duke of Orleans, in 1415. While confined in the Tower of London after the Battle of Agincourt, the young Duke reportedly passed his time by writing romantic verses for his wife in France. Approximately sixty of the Duke's poems remain and can be seen among the royal papers in the British Museum. They are credited with being the first modern day valentines.
By the Sixteenth Century, written valentines were commonplace and by the Seventeenth Century, it was a widespread tradition in England and other Western countries for friends and sweethearts to exchange gifts and notes on February 14. During the early 1700s, Charles II of Sweden brought the Persian poetical art known as the "language of flowers" to Europe and throughout the Eighteenth Century, floral dictionaries were published, permitting the exchange of romantic secrets via a lily or lilac, for example, culminating in entire conversations taking place within a bouquet of flowers. The more popular the flower, the more traditions and meaning were associated with it. The red rose, for instance, believed to be the favored flower of Venus, Roman Goddess of Love, became universally accepted to represent romantic love. Thus, the custom of giving red roses on Valentine's Day quickly gained popularity.
Some time after 1723, the popularity of valentine cards in America began to grow with the import from England of valentine "writers." A "writer" was a booklet comprised of a vast array of verses and messages which could be copied onto gilt-edged paper or other type of decorative sheet. One popular "writer" contained not only "be my valentine" types of verses for the men to send to their sweethearts, but also acceptances or "answers" which the ladies could then return. Late Eighteenth Century and Early Nineteenth Century valentines were often religious in nature and it is possible that the "Sacred Heart" often depicted on these cards eventually became the "Valentine Heart" with the customarily accompanying Angel eventually becoming "Cupid." It is believed that the earlier versions of these religious valentines may have been made by nuns who would cut-out the paper lace with scissors. It is thought the process probably took many days since the cards had every appearance of being machine-made.
One popular style of early American card from 1840 to approximately 1860 was the "Daguerreotype," a photographic process using old-time tintype in the center of a card surrounded by an ornametal wreath. Another was the "Mirror Valentine," which contained a small mirror placed in the center to reflect the face of the recipient. However, the sending of valentine greetings in America did not become a true tradition until around the time of the Civil War (1861-1865) when valentine cards often depicted sweethearts parting, or a tent with flaps that opened to reveal a soldier. These were known as "windows." In peace time, the "window" would be a church door opening to reveal a bridge and groom. Another Civil War valentine novelty was for the card to have a place for the sender to include a lock of hair. By the early 1800s, valentines began to be assembled in factories. Such early manufactured valentines were rather simplistic, composed of black-and-white pictures painted by the factory workers. Fancy valentines comprised of real lace and ribbons were introduced in the mid-1800s. Paper lace began to be introduced to the cards later in the 1800s, These valentines also contained delicate and artistic messages with pictures of turtledoves, lovers' knots in gold or silver, bows and arrow, Cupids and bleeding hearts.
During the Victorian Era and its printing advances, Valentine cards became even more popular and the modern postal service of the age implmented the "penny post," which made it easier to mail written valentines. (Prior to that time, postage was so expensive that most cards were hand-delivered and usually left on doorsteps.) Known as "penny postcards" (because they were mailed with a one-penny postage stamp), these valentine greetings were very popular from around 1890 to 1917. During this time, it was also considered "proper" to collect and display collections of postcards and trade cards in the Victorian and Edwardian parlor. Friends and guests would be invited to sit for hours, leafing through albums while they visited. This custom gained so much popularity that photographers, studios, printers and business continually strived for new and exciting subjects to satisfy a public which was anxious for innovative items in order to impress their acquaintances. To make their cards stand out, people often sought for real photographic postcards. As opposed to mass-produced lithographs, these were actual photographs made with a postcard-printed back. The photography studios frequently employed women to hand-tint and color the black-and-white images. Some of the best of these cards came from Germany...famous for its detailed and colorful lithography. Popular subjects included women, children, flowers and couples, posed and arranged in an effort to portray the idealized virtues of the Era. Indeed, it was in England that the first commercial-type valentine was produced on embossed paper, later perforated to make a lace-type design. Some of these cards contained tiny mirrors with the message: "Look at my Beloved," while others were called "Cobweb Valentines" because the center could be lifted by a tassel to reveal a cobweb effect of paper and underneath, a picture of a couple or a romantic message.
Although pre-Victorian valentines are virtually unavailable today, but cards have survived over a century due chiefly to the fact that they began to be mass-produced around 1850. However, the majority of early Victorian valentines were customarily made by hand from honeycombed tissue, watercolors, paper puffs, colored inks, embossed paper hearts and exquisite lace. These were truly beautifully-created small works of art, often adorned with silk or satin (in addition) to lace, flowers or feathers and even gold leaf. Such fragile honeycomb designs remained the vogue until around 1909. Some of the most unusual valentines were fashioned by lonely sailors during this time...unique cards sporting seashells of various sizes employed to create hearts, flowers and other designs, or to cover heart-shaped boxes. Sailors also sent what were known as "Busk Valentines," rounded long sticks fashioned from ivory or wood, somewhat resembling a tongue depressor but approximately five time longer. Upon these sticks, the sailor would carve hearts and other loving designs. The "Busk Valentine" was worn by the sailor's sweetheart inside her corset. It was not unusual for a manufactured valentine of this era to cost as much as a month's earnings, particularly the "proposal valentines" which were very popular and might contain the depiction of a church or a ring. In keeping with Victorian etiquette, it was considered improper for a lady to send a valentine greeting to a man.
There were many different styles of early Victorian valentines, including:
Acrostic -- valentines containing verses in which the first lines spelled-out the loved one's name.
Cutout -- valentines made by folding the paper several times and then cutting-out a lacelike design with small sharp-pointed scissors.
Fraktur -- valentines with ornamental lettering in the style of illuminated manuscripts from the Middle Ages.
Pinprick -- valentines made by pricking tiny holes in paper with a pin or needle and thus creating the appearance of lace.
Theorem or Poonah -- valentines with designs which were painted through a stencil cut in oil paper. This particular style originated in the Orient.
Puzzik or Puzzle Purse -- quaint valentines, customarily homemade, which contained a folded puzzle to be read, solved and then refolded. Not only was it necessary to decipher the message, it was also necessary to refold the paper correctly once it was opened. This valentine contained many folds of verses that had to be read in a certain sequence. The order of the verses was usually numbered and the recipient would have to twist the folds in order to determine what had been written.
Rebus -- valentines which contained romantic verses written in ink with certain words omitted and illustrated by tiny pictures instead (the image of an eye would take the place of the word "I," for example). Meant to be a riddle, these valentines were not always necessarily easy to decipher. The rebus valentine had many forms, but the one mentioned herein was the most common and the most popular.
During the mid-Nineteenth Century, the traditional valentine was designed for a brief period of time to assume the form of money. Known as "love notes," these cards were eventually banned due to their uncanny likeness to authentic currency. It was around this time that valentines also gradually became rather less artistic and more overly-ornamental. During the "Gay Nineties," for example, the cards were adorned with garish spun glass, mother-of-pearl, imitation gems or silk fringe. Evidence of the less attractive and what might be considered "cheap-looking" valentine is seen in the "vinegar valentine." A greeting which ranged in sentiment from the caustic to the comical, the "vinegar valentine" was created by John McLaughlin, a New York printer. It was produced on cheap paper, decorated with crude colors and might contain as message such as:
"Miss Grey hairs and wrinkles, don't look quite so cold.
Don't let it surprise you to find yourself old.
The old family record with truth on its page,
Tells a horrible fact about your present age.
Your Pa or your Ma may have said you look young,
Some 20 years since but now you're among
The 'old maids' of this world, without chance for a beau,
For Cupid's grown gray since he cut you, you know."
As can be seen, the "vinegar valentine" poked fun at old maids and teachers (among others). Comic designs of the 1870s by the American cartoonist Charles Howard were known as "penny dreadfuls," a somewhat appropriate title since they sold for a penny and the designs really were quite "dreadful" in nature. Both "vinegar valentines" and "penny dreadfuls" came under close social, religious and postal service scrutiny. The practice also led to a somewhat obscene number of valentines being produced which caused several countries to ban the practice of exchanging cards through the mail for a period of time. For example, in Chicago, late in the Nineteenth Century, the Post Office rejected some 25,000 cards on the grounds that they were "not fit" be carried through the United States Mail.
Commercial valentines were first made during the 1800s with Kate Greenway (1846-1901), a British artist, being one of the leading makers of such greetings. Greenway valentines are well-known for drawings of little children and the varied shades of blues and greens that she favored. In 1840, Esther A. Howland, a student at Mount Holyoke College, mass-produced the first American commercial Valentines. Howland's father, a stationer in Worcester, Massachussetts, imported valentine cards annually from England. However, Howland decided to create her own valentine messages. Around 1830, she began to import lace, fine papers and other supplies for the creation of her cards. Employing several assistants and her brothers (thus becoming one of the first individuals to ever use an assembly line), Howland marketed her "Worcester" valentines with a distinguishable little red "H" on the back. The first year in business brought Howland an unexpected $5,000.00 in sales (a princely sum at that time) and her cards (some of which sold for $50.00 each) eliminated the laborious task of making homemade valentines. Larger companies followed her lead almost immediately.
During the 1840s, the first "mechanical" valentines were introduced. By pulling a tab, a figure or object on the card could be made to move. Some even had elaborate and dramatic pop-outs or various other three-dimensional features. By the end of the 1800s, valentines were being made entirely by machine. During the early 1900s, a card company called Norcross began to produce valentines and the Hallmark Company owns a collection of rare antique varieties which it will occasionally put on display. The advent of the Twentieth Century truly brought a change in the valentine card industry from the heavy sentimentality of earlier days to what can probably be best described as a "light touch."
In an of themselves, valentines are closely related to Austrian and German love tokens which were produced until around 1820. Exquisitely-made, these little items were fashioned and colored totally by hand. Not necessarily given on Valentine's Day, they were neverthless adorned with hearts and images of sweethearts. Many had a transparent net background embossed with gold trimmings. Today, a valentine card is usually accompanied by the more elaborate gifts of candy, flowers and perfume. Nevertheless, Valentine's Day Cards remain extremely popular and are manufactured on an enormous scale...cards may be purchased for sweethearts, spouses, children, parents, teachers and even pets. In terms of the sheer numbers of greetings sent annually, February 14 ranks second only to Christmas.
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What colour is the cross on the flag of Switzerland? | Switzerland Flag - All about Swiss Flag - colors, meaning, information & history
WORLD FLAGS
Switzerland National Flag - Information
The national flag of Switzerland consists of a white cross on a red field. The four arms of the white cross should be of equal length and one and a sixth times as long as they are wide
Switzerland Flag - Colors - meaning and symbolism
Red represents blood spilled to uphold the faith
White cross symbolizes Christianity
Switzerland Flag - History, Facts & information for kids
In 1291, three cantons - Uri, Schwyz, and Unterwalden - joined together to form the Swiss confederacy. Schwyz used a flag that is based on the imperial war flag of the Holy Roman Empire, which bore a white cross on red. The Swiss Confederation began using Schwyz's flag during and after the Battle of Laupen (1339) Though the flag was being used as the Swiss national flag for over 500 years, it was officially established as the national flag on December 12, 1889
War flag of the Holy Roman Empire
Switzerland Flag - History, Facts & information for kids
Following the heraldic tradition, Swiss flags on land are square in proportion. Switzerland Flag is one of only two square sovereign-state flags in the world (the other being the flag of Vatican City) When used on water (at sea or on the vessels plying in Swiss lakes), the ratio of the size of the cross to the height is 5:8, and to the length is 5:12 and the flag can be of rectangular proportion with 2:3 or 7:10 dimensions
Switzerland Flag - Red Cross Symbol
The Red Cross symbol used by the International Committee of the Red Cross, a red cross on white background, was the original protection symbol declared at the first Geneva Convention, the Convention for the Amelioration of the Condition of the Wounded in Armies in the Field of 1864. According to the ICRC the design was based on the Swiss flag by reversing of the colours of that flag, in order to honor Switzerland, where the first Geneva Convention was held, and its inventor and co-founder, the Swiss Henry Dunant.
Switzerland Flag - Red Cross Symbol
Switzerland Flag pictures
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In which children's TV show could you have seen the character of Windy Miller? | Switzerland: the meaning of the flag
This page is part of © FOTW Flags Of The World website
Switzerland: the meaning of the flag
Suisse, Schweiz, Svizzera, Svizra, Confoederatio Helvetica
this article in French
Le sens du drapeau / The meaning of the flag.
From a special issue of the magazine 'Construire', put online by Migros, a major supermarket chain in Switzerland. The issue was released on 27 July 2000, a few days before the Swiss National Day (1st August). All texts are in French, and I have translated below the most relevant parts. I have added my own comments between square brackets when required for a better understanding. Words between double squared brackets are original French words. A few selected 'important" Swiss citizens have been asked the question: "Which meaning should we give to our national flag?" Note that all interviewed people come from French-speaking Switzerland. Original interviews were made by Joel Guillet.
Nelly Wenger, general manager of Expo.02: "I am fond of our Swiss flag, and I would not like it to be changed. Moreover, red is one of my preferred colours. The flag is also one of the main elements of Expo.02 logo. Its shape and colours evidently reminds me the Red Cross flag and its humanitarian calling. I also appreciate its abstract style of drawing, which allows several interpretations."
Georges-Andre Chevallaz, former President of the Confederation: "A flag cannot be changed the same way a frontage or a coachwork is repainted, according to fad or weird impulses. Among the turbulence of a rapidly changing world, the uncertainties and conflicts in this day and age, the flag must remain a durable emblem uniting the community of the country. [...] The flag incarnates the continuity of our history, but also cohesion and political firmness which should allow us to build the future of a country and a world showing more solidarity and respect of our liberties."
Patrice Mugny, National Councillor [MP elected for 4 years] (Greens, canton of Geneva): "The national flag does not inspire me with any feeling. In fact, I like very much my country, even if I criticize it. But flags in general do not thrill me. They are rallying symbols, with nationalist connotations. I consider them more or less as brass band costumes. They are neither ridiculous nor inspired. I understand that some people are fond of them, even if they don't thrill me. If need be, as a believer Christian, I could put up with the religious symbol of the cross. However, I support a strict separation between Church and State, and I would instead prefer a symbol able to rally all citizens without exception."
Francois Cherix, President of Renaissance Suisse-Europe: "Regarding the Swiss flag as a visual object, my feelings are rather neutral. Indeed, I always imagine it hoisted on the top of a scenic green mountain. For me, it evokes with certainty the drawing [[dessin]] of a country whose plan [[dessein]] I cannot perceive. Neat, clear, precise, balanced, its simple and strong design talks about order, stability and Christian tradition. But I also want to believe that its central cross can be read as a forum for ideas and cultures. If I remember correctly, the national flag is a by-product of the cantonal shield of Schwyz. It bears therefore a heavy heritage, as to be reduced [[reduit]] to be descended from the Alpine recess [[reduit]], until the Swiss Alps will get their vocation of heart of Europe back."
[Cherix's position illustrates the strong antagonism between pro and anti-Europeans in Switzerland. The so-called "forest cantons" (Waldst�tte) Schwyz, Uri and Unterwalden are considered as emblematic of the Swiss anti-European feelings and withdrawal on the "Alpine recess". They are mostly rural areas living from a highly subsidized traditional agriculture, with a small population but a strong political power. The European debate is a major item of the strong dispute between French-speaking and German-speaking Switzerland.]
Lova Golotchiner, actor and presentor for TSR [Television-Suisse-Romande /French-speaking Television]: "Finally, I find it quite convenient and handy. First, it is easier to memorized than three-striped tricolour flags. With those flags, you never know if green is in the top, red in the middle, or the opposite. The problem for us is the white cross. Do all of us identify with this very present [[presente]], indeed even burdensome [[pesant]] cross? I would suggest to add a charge somewhere. For example a few blue stars on the edges [Probably a "disguised" pro-European statement.] Due to changes in people's attitudes and globalization, there are unfortunately less and less symbol in our current flag. Beforehand, the flag was at least associated with Swissair and the Swiss Bank Union. Nowadays, it is less and less faithful to reality, even if this does not prevent me to be patriotic when required. I feel therefore some fear for its future. Actually, I imagine it will inescapably join Christophe Blocher's toolbox."
[Blocher is a (extreme-)right-wing politician from Zurich. His anti-European and xenophobic program is largely supported in German-speaking Switzerland, especially by the economical establishment - another source of dispute between French-speaking and German-speaking Switzerland. Blocher uses the same kind of populist toolbox as Haider or Bossi elsewhere.]
Corps Commander Jacques Dousse, Head of the Land Forces: "The national flag is a symbol of belonging to a nation, a country, a motherland! It is an emblem of rallying and cohesion, especially important in Switzerland, a country with 26 cantons and four languages! Through the national flag and anthem, I carry on, with pride and conviction, to have... Switzerland in my ideas [Pun difficult to translate: "avoir de la suite dans les idees" means to be single-minded (literally, to follow his ideas), and Dousse uses: "avoir de la Suisse dans les idees".] Official since 1848, our flag finds its origin in the army standards. This origin explains its square shape: with the Vatican flag, it is the single square-shaped flag! If I remember correctly, the white cross on the red field appeared for the first time during the battle of Laupen in 1339. The poet Gonzague de Reynold, from Fribourg, describes our flag as "this banner riddled during the battles of yesteryear, square banner of sovereign peoples, scarlet standard couped with a white cross" [["cette banni�re trouee des batailles d'antan, banniere carree des peuples souverains, l'ecarlate etendard que coupe une croix blanche."]] Other symbol: for liberty and independence of our Switzerland, our forefathers' blood has been shed. Moreover: our fatherland has always been under God's protection, as recalled for us in the first words of the 1291 Pact: "In the name of Almighty God..." [The everlasting Pact concluded by people from Schwyz, Uri and Unterwalden cantons on the meadow of Rutli in 1291 is considered as the birth act of the Confederation.]
Jacques-Simon Eggly, History teacher and National Councilor [MP elected for 4 years] (Liberals, canton of Geneva): "The Swiss flag inspires me an identity feeling, and, during certain official events, some emotion. I like it because it recalls for me - even if the relations of cause and effect are not evident - my Christian roots and the Red Cross, as well as the country's history[...]"
Yvette Jaggi, President of Pro Helvetia: "I like in the Swiss flag the fact that its charge and field can be treated in two colours, but always evoke peace and humanity. White on a red field, this is the Swiss cross. Red on a white field, this is Red Cross [...] I like to search - and especially to find - the Swiss flag among a forest of national emblems, like in Strasbourg, in front of the Council of Europe. Its presence symbolizes our belonging to the international community." [Another political statement. There is currently in Switzerland a great debate about adhesion to international institutions such as UNO, with always the same opposition between French-speaking and German-speaking Switzerland.]
Rene Scheidegger, Romand [French-speaking] coordinator for ASIN (Association pour une Suisse independante et neutre / Association for an independent and neutral Switzerland): "Being attached to my country and having been living about 20 years abroad, the Swiss flag inspires me with pride, respect, and gratitude. Pride to belong to a nation which has been able to find itself an envied place in the world; respect for an independent and neutral country, whose open-mindedness is proved by a high rate of foreigners, an important humanitarian activity and an extensive community abroad. The red colour is the blood shed by the Swiss mercenaries abroad. And the white cross - reference to Christ cross - is the symbol of neutrality (there is a similarity in design with the Red Cross flag.) I like this flag, simple and respected worldwide, whatever may say some rootless "globalists" [[mondialistes]] to follow fashion. It is the symbol rallying citizens [female and male - "citoyennes et citoyens"] sharing the same values." [Another anti-Blocher position, even if Blocher is also against globalization. The high rate of foreigners, as elsewhere, is principally motivated by economical reasons and lack of indigenous arms. Blocher and al. have proposals to restrict by law the rate of foreigners allowed to live in Switzerland.]
Ivan Sache, 19 September 2000
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In which 1996 film does Eddie Murphy play characters including Sherman Klump and Buddy Love? | The Nutty Professor (1996) - IMDb
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Grossly overweight yet good-hearted professor Sherman Klump takes a special chemical that turns him into the slim but obnoxious Buddy Love.
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Title: The Nutty Professor (1996)
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Won 1 Oscar. Another 8 wins & 11 nominations. See more awards »
Videos
Scientist Sherman Klump's inventions, his upcoming marriage to his pretty colleague Denise Gaines and his reputation are threatened by his evil clone Buddy Love.
Director: Peter Segal
An extremely pampered African prince travels to Queens, New York City, and goes undercover to find a wife whom he can respect for her intelligence and will.
Director: John Landis
A mild-mannered guy, who is married to a monstrous woman, meets the woman of his dreams, and schemes to find a way to be with her.
Director: Brian Robbins
Axel Foley, while investigating a car theft ring, comes across something much bigger than that: the same men who shot his boss are running a counterfeit money ring out of a theme park in Los Angeles.
Director: John Landis
A freewheeling Detroit cop pursuing a murder investigation finds himself dealing with the very different culture of Beverly Hills.
Director: Martin Brest
Axel Foley returns to Beverly Hills to help Taggart and Rosewood investigate Chief Bogomil's near-fatal shooting and the series of "alphabet crimes" associated with it.
Director: Tony Scott
Jack Cates once again enlists the aid of ex-con Reggie Hammond--this time, to take down The Iceman, a ruthless drug lord operating in the San Francisco bay area.
Director: Walter Hill
The story of wrongfully convicted men (Eddie Murphy and Martin Lawrence) who discover the value of life after serving 65 years in prison.
Director: Ted Demme
In order to protect a beautiful woman and her son from a robber, a male FBI agent disguises himself as a large grandmother.
Director: Raja Gosnell
A hard-nosed cop reluctantly teams up with a wise-cracking criminal temporarily paroled to him, in order to track down a killer.
Director: Walter Hill
A private detective specializing in missing children is charged with the task of finding a special child who dark forces want to eliminate.
Director: Michael Ritchie
Roper, a hostage negotiator catches a murderous bank robber after a blown heist. The bank robber escapes and immediately goes after the man who put him behind bars. The ending is played out... See full summary »
Director: Thomas Carter
Edit
Storyline
Brilliant and obese scientist Sherman Klump invents a miraculous weight-loss solution. After a date with chemistry student Carla Purty goes badly, a depressed Klump tries the solution on himself. Though he instantly loses 250 pounds, the side effects include a second personality: an obnoxiously self-assertive braggart who calls himself Buddy Love. Buddy proves to be more popular than Sherman, but his arrogance and bad behavior quickly spiral out of control. Written by Jwelch5742
Inside Sherman Klump, a party animal is about to break out.
Genres:
Rated PG-13 for crude humor and sexual references | See all certifications »
Parents Guide:
28 June 1996 (USA) See more »
Also Known As:
El profesor chiflado See more »
Filming Locations:
$25,400,000 (USA) (28 June 1996)
Gross:
It took approximately 3 hours each day to apply Eddie Murphy's makeup. See more »
Goofs
Sherman never takes the aluminum wrap off the TV dinner before he turns on the microwave. See more »
Quotes
Professor Carla Purty : [about Reggie] I hate this guy. I hate this guy, he is so obnoxious.
Buddy Love : [ignores her] Give the nigger a chance.
During the credits, outtakes are shown. See more »
Connections
Written and Performed by James Brown
Courtesy of Polydor Records
(Sunderland, MA) – See all my reviews
Yes, that's how I feel about it. And no one was more surprised than me.
While I think Eddie Murphy is often hilarious, I don't care so much for his scatological humor. It make me think he wasn't toilet-trained properly.
We get a fair amount of fart jokes in this flick, but they work because they fit in the context of the scenes, and the characters' motivations. They make sense first, THEN are funny, rather than the other way around (or just being silly because no one could think of anything funny to write).
But overriding the gas glee is a thoughtful story about a fat man dealing with his weight and trying to find romance. The special effects that gave Murphy his blubber are truly astounding. It never looks fake. And above all this is the incredible screen chemistry between Murphy's Professor Klump and Jada Pinkett Smith. Smith is always genuine in her interest in Sherman; and his bashfulness and sincerity are truly endearing.
I found this movie to be a pleasant surprise. I think you might, too.
18 of 24 people found this review helpful. Was this review helpful to you?
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| The Nutty Professor |
Yperite, first used by the German army in September 1917, is better known as what type of gas? | The Nutty Professor - Movies & TV on Google Play
The Nutty Professor
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Synopsis
Eddie Murphy gives "the performances" of his career - playing seven roles! - in this hilarious comedy about a genetics professor who experiments with his own fat-reducing serum.
My review
1 2
Richard Schickel
[Murphy] is able to invest his Professor Klump with an endearing dignity, give his lounge lizard alter ego, Buddy Love, an alligator's bite and then go on from there to play Klump's grandma. Also his mother, father and brother.
Variety Staff
Murphy's most assured work in some time.
Kevin McManus
This is good, seamless comedy.
Edward Guthmann
This is a chance to see Murphy doing what he does best, and for that alone it's worth seeing.
The flick is sketch comedy spun out to feature length.
Peter Travers
Eddie Murphy is funny again. Sadly, he lacks the guts to follow through on the cathartic self-satire that gives the film its distinction.
Critic reviews
Richard Schickel
[Murphy] is able to invest his Professor Klump with an endearing dignity, give his lounge lizard alter ego, Buddy Love, an alligator's bite and then go on from there to play Klump's grandma. Also his mother, father and brother.
Full Review
Edward Guthmann
This is a chance to see Murphy doing what he does best, and for that alone it's worth seeing.
Full Review
Peter Travers
Eddie Murphy is funny again. Sadly, he lacks the guts to follow through on the cathartic self-satire that gives the film its distinction.
Full Review
Kenneth Turan
Messy, raucous, crude and undisciplined though this remake of the 1963 Jerry Lewis vehicle is, it also creates more laughter (and poignancy) than any Eddie Murphy movie has in quite some time.
Deontae Douglas October 26, 2016
The Nutty Professor Funny as hell, eddie murphy too funny.
Gavyn Welch February 4, 2015
HAHAHA!!!!!
Joseph Barley November 24, 2016
The Nutty Professor I watch The Nutty Professor on BET yesterday.
Full Review
Theresa Past November 23, 2016
A man is pursuing his dreams. The movie builds on this theme. I didn't expect all the gasses to pass during his family dinner.
potato assassin1 June 26, 2016
The funniest thing I ever saw was CLETUS farts
randall dane November 4, 2014
zang not the og but very very close
A Google User August 13, 2012
The Nutty Professor Funny Movies
Full Review
Ralph Smith February 14, 2013
Nutty professor Eddie Murphy off da!!chain what he say can i stick my "beef in ya taco" funny as hell!!!!!!!
| i don't know |
In 2000, who bared all at the Gielgud Theatre replacing Kathleen Turner in the role of Mrs Robinson in the play The Graduate? | BBC News | SHOWBIZ | The Graduate's London term ends
Friday, 18 January, 2002, 17:45 GMT
The Graduate's London term ends
Kathleen Turner was the first Mrs Robinson in the show
The London run of The Graduate, the stage show that has seen a string of actresses bare all as a middle-aged seductress, comes to the end of its West End run this weekend.
The show, a stage version of the Oscar-winning 1967 film, will now transfer to Broadway after being seen by more than 400,000 people in the UK.
The Graduate has become infamous for its nude scenes, featuring high-profile stars including Kathleen Turner, Jerry Hall and Linda Gray.
They have all played Mrs Robinson, who woos a younger man, Benjamin Braddock.
Jerry Hall: Not a hit with critics
Its final performance at London's Gielgud Theatre will be on Saturday.
Producers have denied that the show became a casualty of falling visitor numbers after 11 September.
When the announcement of its closure was made in November, ticket sales were as high as when Kathleen Turner made headlines as the show's first Mrs Robinson from April 2000, they said.
Turner will reprise her role in Toronto, Baltimore and Boston before going to Broadway from 4 April.
She will be joined by Clueless star Alicia Silverstone and American Pie actor Jason Biggs, who will play Benjamin, the graduate who becomes the object of Mrs Robinson's affections.
The film won an Oscar in 1968
Before the London run opened, ticket sales went through the roof when it was announced that Turner, then aged 45, would appear naked on stage.
Her debut was met with a standing ovation from theatregoers, but a mixed reaction from critics.
One reviewer said she gave the seduction scene "a comic sexiness, as if Mae West were coming on to a panic-stricken Jerry Lewis".
The show was originally scheduled for a short run, but was continually extended to meet demand.
After Turner came Jerry Hall, then 43, the former wife of Rolling Stones star Mick Jagger.
Linda Gray is London's last Mrs Robinson
She fared worse at the hand of the critics, with one saying: "Jerry, I'm afraid, is no actress. But she's got great legs."
Hall was replaced by Amanda Donohoe, the youngest of the stars at 39, who was followed by Fatal Attraction star Anne Archer, 53.
Then came Linda Gray, 60, who played Sue Ellen in TV soap Dallas, and became London's last Mrs Robinson.
The show will have taken �10m by the end of its West End run.
The story was originally a novel by Charles Webb, which became the film starring Anne Bancroft and Dustin Hoffman. Terry Johnson adapted it for the stage.
Worldwide
When the announcement of the closure was made, producers John Reid and Sacha Brooks said: "The Graduate has been a West End event every night for nearly two years. We have always hoped to go out on a high."
The Graduate has also played in Australia, South Africa and Poland.
Other high-profile West End shows to close in recent months include Starlight Express, Notre Dame De Paris and The Witches Of Eastwick.
The London staging of Cats, the longest-running musical in history, has just announced that it is to come to an end after 21 years.
See also:
| Jerry Hall |
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Which footballer won the Golden Boot for scoring the most goals at 1986 World Cup Finals? What is the largest of the West Indian islands? In the novel "20,000 Leagues Under The Sea" what was the name of the captain of the submarine "Nautilus"? In which famous book would you come across a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster? Pirate Edward Teach was better known by what nickname? Where in the body would you find the hallux? What is the lightest weight category in boxing? What was Madonna's first UK number one? "Buenos dias" is a greeting in which language? What is Britain's largest lake? Which famous character was created by Michael Bond in a series of books for children? Which toy had the sales slogan "Real tough toys for real tough boys" Actress who played the heroine in Casablanca? Czechoslovakia became the first country in 1969 to make the wearing of what compulsory? Who was the first unseeded player to win the Wimbledon Mens Singles title? What was introduced into the English football league in 1981 rewarding winning teams? What number on the Beaufort scale represents a hurricane? In which year were three points for a win introduced into the English football league? Desmond Llewelyn play which character in 17 Bond Filmsof ? Which film did Elvis Presley play the character of Lucky Jackson in, and had a title which was also a hit single for Elvis? What two letters are worth the most in a game of Scrabble? Doctor Doolittle Hippopotamous Snails Tennessee Owen Hargreaves Happy Birthday To You Pavarotti, Carraras, Domingo Croatia The Great Fire Of London Kilmarnock Ian Wright Ottawa Agatha Christie Belgium "The Godfather: Part 2" Brazil Captain Nemo Apples (Apple Brandy) Paul Young's 1956 Gary Lineker Cuba Captain Nemo The Hitch-Hikers Guide To The Galaxy Blackbeard On your foot (it's your big toe) Light Flyweight "Into The Groove" Spanish Loch Lomond Paddington Bear Tonka Ingrid Bergman Seat Belts Boris Becker the 3 points system 12 1981 Q Viva Las Vegas "Q" and "Z" (both worth 10 points) Who created havoc in 1938, when his radio broadcast of "The War Of The Worlds" was believed to be true? What is the world's most southerly capital? Which of the Teletubbies is the smallest? Who played Ororo Munroe, a.k.a. Storm, in the 2000 film X-Men? How are twin sisters Monica and Gabriela Irimia better known in the music world? Alfred Nobel, the man after whom the Nobel Prizes are named, was originally well known for inventing what? Which famous ship was damaged by fire in May 2007 while undergoing restoration at Greenwich in London? What type of animal lives in a sett? With which comic would you associate Beryl the Peril and Korky the Cat? Which london landmark was sold in 1962 to an American entrepreneur, and moved to Arizona? What product has the slogan "Tell 'em about the honey, Mummy" ? An emerald is normally what colour? What is the name given to a group of witches? Which country's national symbol is a Lotus flower? By what stage name did William Claude Dukenfield achieve fame? During which TV game show were the contestants invited to go "wild in the aisles"? In the 1994 film "The Flintstones", which legendary actress played Fred Flintstone's mother-in-law? In September 2003, Fathers 4 Justice campaigner Jason Hatch caused an embarrassing security breach at Buckingham Palace dressed as who? What is the largest planet in our Solar System? Which famous footballer left Tottenham in 1992 to join Japanese side Grampus Eight? What distance is covered in one circuit of a modern outdoor running track? How many players are there in a hockey team? Issac Hayes provides the voice of Chef in which animated TV comedy series ? Which movie features a space ship called the Nostromo? What country had the Roman name Hibernia? Who appeared on the world's first postage stamp, the Penny Black? In which country was Marie Curie born? Poland, Austria or Switzerland? What is Homer's local bar called? International Nurses Day is held on May 12, the anniversary of the birth of which famous nurse? What 1984 film starred Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd and Sigourney Weaver? On a standard dart board, what is the lowest number that cannot be scored with a single dart? Who had a top ten hit with “I Love Rock ‘N’ Roll" in April 1982? Which three sports make up the triathlon? Which 1973 hit single includes the lyrics "and the man in the back said everyone attack"? What was the name of author A. A. Milne's son, the name of whom he used in his "Winnie The Pooh" books? Which gift is traditionally given on a 15th wedding anniversary? China, Crystal or Tin? Which "P" is the correct technical term for the art of making and displaying fireworks? Which British city has more miles of canal than Venice? What was the name of Captain Nemo’s submarine? Which TV family live at 742 Evergreen Terrace? Who received an Oscar nomination for Best Original Song from the film “Live and Let Die”? Orson Welles Wellington Po Halle Berry The Cheeky Girls Dynamite The Cutty Sark Badger The Dandy London Bridge Sugar Puffs Green A coven India W. C. Fields Supermarket Sweep Elizabeth Taylor Batman Jupiter Gary Lineker 400 metres 11 South Park Alien Ireland Queen Victoria Poland Florence Nightingale "Ghostbusters" 23 Joan Jett & The Blackhearts Running, Cycling and Swimming "Ballroom Blitz" (by Sweet) Christopher Robin Crystal Pyrotechnics Birmingham Nautlius The Simpsons Paul McCartney What nickname was given to the 7th Armoured Division in 1940? "It's Hebrew, it's from the Talmud. It says, Whoever saves one life, saves the world entire." from which book and movie did this appear? Robbie Lewis was the sidekick to which Detective Chief Inspector? What are the main four blood groups? Which cricketer captained England's Ashes winning team of 2005? What nationality was Christopher Columbus? Based on characters from Greek mythology, the 1963 film "Jason And The Argonauts" is centred around a quest to find what? What is the largest lake in the Lake District? How many bottles of champagne are there in a magnum? Who was the first snooker player to score a maximum 147 break in World Championship snooker? In 1978, which country became the first to receive "nul points" overall, with their entry "Mil Etter Mil"? If the cheetah is the fastest thing on four legs, what is the fastest on two legs? The book "The Satanic Verses" by Salman Rushdie caused controversy after it was claimed it was blasphemous against which religion? Who wrote the musical "We Will Rock You" in collaboration with Queen members Brian May and Roger Taylor? Which two boxers were involved in the "Rumble In The Jungle" world title fight in 1974? The burning of what substance produces most of the world's electricity? What name is given to a male swan? In which film did Roger Moore first play James Bond? The binary system of numbers uses which two numerical digits? How did Judith Keppel make television history in November 2000? What was the first city in the Southern hemisphere to host the Olympic Games? Which shop did Anita Roddick open in Brighton in 1976, leading to a highly successful chain of stores now trading in over 40 countries worldwide? What number in Bingo is sometimes referred to as "Heinz varieties"? What are the three primary colours of light? How many verses make up the national anthem "God Save The Queen"? Which actress wore a animal-skin bikini for a famous publicity shot for the 1966 film "One Million Years B.C."? goalkeeper Rene Higuita's who cleared a shot against England, when he dived under the ball and back-heeled it while airborne. What was his nationality ? What sign of the zodiac would you be if you were born on St. Valentine's Day? Who, in 1984, won the BBC Sports Personality Of The Year Award, the only time it has been awarded to two people? Which historical figure is reputed to have laid his cloak over a muddy puddle so that Queen Elizabeth I would not get her feet dirty? What colour is the cross on the flag of Switzerland? In which Formula One team did Damon Hill replace Nigel Mansell? Which actor did Jennifer Anniston marry in July 2000? In the film "Home Alone", to which country do Kevin's family fly to for Christmas, leaving him behind? Who bought Chelsea football club for £1 in 1982? The Desert Rats Schindler's List Inspector Morse A, B, AB and O Michael Vaughn Italian The Golden Fleece Lake Windemere 2 Cliff Thornburn Norway The ostrich Islam Ben Elton Muhammad Ali and George Foreman Coal Cob Live And Let Die 1 and 0 She won a million on 'Who Wants To Be A Million Melbourne The Body Shop 57 Red, Blue and Green Three Raquel Welch Columbia Aquarius Torvill and Dean Sir Walter Raleigh White Williams Brad Pitt France Ken Bates Which "Doctor" was arrested in 1910 on board the SS Montrose for the murder of his wife and is regarded as the first criminal to be arrested with the help of radio comunication? Who was the first snooker player to score a maximum 147 break in World Championship snooker? Which American athlete won 4 gold medals at the 1984 Olympic games? Who was Britain's first million pound footballer? At the age of 42, which Cameroon player became the oldest ever to play in the World Cup Finals? Who ended Bjorn Borg's reign of five consecutive Wimbledon titles, when he beat him in the final in 1981? Which famous sportsman lit the torch at the opening ceremony of the 1996 Olympic Games? In the 1984 Olympics, who did Zola Budd accidentally trip up? Which footballing duo sang "Diamond Lights" in 1987? What is the national sport of Japan? After the 1994/95 Premiership season, which Tottenham Hotspur player became the first foreigner to win the footballer of the year award? Which famous race takes place annually between Putney and Mortlake? How long is an Olympic sized swimming pool? Which sport, of Celtic origin, uses a ball called a sliotar? How many premiership league football teams have names which start and end with the same letter? Who won 94 singles titles, including the US Open, French Open and Australian Open titles in the 1980s, but never won at Wimbledon? With which sport would you associate Greg Le Mond? How many players in total get down in a normal rugby union scrum? The winner of which sporting event is awarded the "Venus Rose Water Dish"? Playing for Leeds United in August 1992, who became the first player to score a hat-trick in the Premiership? How many kilometres long is the "walk" - the longest race in men's athletics? What did the English international football team do in October 1961 and in November 1981, but never in between? How many players are there in a Rugby League team? Who won the gold medal for Britain at the 100 metres breaststroke in 1980? Which three footballers won the BBC Sports Personality Of The Year Award in the 20th century? Steve Davis reached every final of the Snooker World Championship between 1983 and 1989, but who were the two players who beat him? What is the final event in a decathlon? In 1976, which gymnast scored 7 maximum scores of 10 as she won three gold medals, one silver and one bronze? What colour is the centre scoring zone on an archery target? Chukkas are periods of play in which sport? In the Olympic Games, what five sports make up the modern pentathlon? Brian Deane scored the first ever Premiership goal for which team? Chukkas are periods of play in which sport? How many hurdles must a runner jump over in the 110m men’s hurdles race? How many times are a team allowed to touch a volleyball before it crosses the net? Which European football club is nicknamed "La Vicchia Signora", which translates as "the old lady"? At which distance did Sally Gunnell win her gold medal for hurdling at the 1992 Olympics? Dr. Crippen Cliff Thornburn Carl Lewis Trevor Francis Roger Milla John McEnroe Muhammed Ali Mary Decker Chris Waddle and Glenn Hoddle Sumo Wrestling Jurgen Klinsmann The Oxford and Cambridge Boat Race 50 metres Hurling 2 - Aston Villa, Liverpool, Ivan Lendl Cycling 16 Ladies Singles at Wimbledon Eric Cantona 50 Qualified for the world cup finals 13 Duncan Goodhew Bobby Moore, Paul Gasgoine and Michael Owen Dennis Taylor and Joe Johnson 1500 metres Nadia Comaneci Gold Polo Running, Fencing, Swimming, Horse Riding and Sheffield United Middlesex 10 3 Juventus 400 metres In what year did Steve Redgrave win his first gold medal at the Olympics? Charlotte Edwards led England`s women to World Cup glory in which sport in March 2009? How many players make up an Australian rules football team? What is the maximum number of horses allowed to run in the Grand National? What is the most common street name in Britain? 617 squadron where better known as what in reference to their mission in world war 2 Which Doctor did the author Hugh Lofting write about in a series of children's books? Which animal's name means river horse? If you were eating escargots in a French restaurant what would you be eating? From which American state does the drink Jack Daniels come? Which England international footballer started his footballing career at Canadian club Calgary Foothills FC? What is the most frequently sung song in the language of English? What are the surnames of the Three Tenors? In which European country is Dalmatia, from where the Dalmation dog gets its name? For what event in history is baker Thomas Farynor known? What was the name of the Brighton hotel bombed by the IRA in 1984 Who scored 185 goals for Arsenal a club record until it was beaten by Theirry Henry? What is the capital of Canada? Who is the all-time best-selling fiction writer in the world, whose 78 crime novels have sold an estimated 2 billion copies? From which country does the drink Stella Artois originate? Where is the Ceremony Of The Keys held each evening? What is the only country which is crossed by both the equator and the tropic of capricorn? In the novel "20,000 Leagues Under The Sea" what was the name of the captain of the submarine "Nautilus"? Which fruit is distilled to make Calvados? Which male singer sang the opening line of the original Band Aid single "Do They Know It's Christmas"? In what year did the first Eurovision Song Contest take place? Which footballer won the Golden Boot for scoring the most goals at 1986 World Cup Finals? What is the largest of the West Indian islands? In the novel "20,000 Leagues Under The Sea" what was the name of the captain of the submarine "Nautilus"? How many english counties start with the letter "N" Pirate Edward Teach was better known by what nickname? Where in the body would you find the hallux? What is the lightest weight category in boxing? Which Prime Minister introduced the National Lottery to Britain? "Buenos dias" is a greeting in which language? What is Britain's largest lake? Which famous character was created by Michael Bond in a series of books for children? Which toy had the sales slogan "Real tough toys for real tough boys" Which current member of the Royal Family qualified as a motor mechanic during World War 2? Czechoslovakia became the first country in 1969 to make the wearing of what compulsory? Who was the first unseeded player to win the Wimbledon Mens Singles title? 1984 Cricket 18 40 High Street Dam Busters Doctor Doolittle Hippopotamous Snails Tennessee Owen Hargreaves Happy Birthday To You Pavarotti, Carraras, Domingo Croatia The Great Fire Of London The Grand Ian Wright Ottawa Agatha Christie Belgium Tower Of London Brazil Captain Nemo Apples (Apple Brandy) Paul Young's 1956 Gary Lineker Cuba Captain Nemo 5 - Norfolk, Northumberland, North Yorkshire, N Nottinghamshire Blackbeard On your foot (it's your big toe) Light Flyweight John Major (1994) Spanish Loch Lomond Paddington Bear Tonka The Queen Seat Belts Boris Becker What was introduced into the English football league in 1981 rewarding winning teams? What number on the Beaufort scale represents a hurricane? Which is the only English Football League Club with five letter “R’s” in its name? In centimetres, how high is a table tennis table? Desmond Llewelyn play which character in 17 Bond Filmsof ? Which film did Elvis Presley play the character of Lucky Jackson in, and had a title which was also a hit single for Elvis? What two letters are worth the most in a game of Scrabble? Who created havoc in 1938, when his radio broadcast of "The War Of The Worlds" was believed to be true? What is the world's most southerly capital? Which of the Teletubbies is the smallest? Who played Ororo Munroe, a.k.a. Storm, in the 2000 film X-Men? How are twin sisters Monica and Gabriela Irimia better known in the music world? Alfred Nobel, the man after whom the Nobel Prizes are named, was originally well known for inventing what? Which famous ship was damaged by fire in May 2007 while undergoing restoration at Greenwich in London? What type of animal lives in a sett? With which comic would you associate Beryl the Peril and Korky the Cat? Which london landmark was sold in 1962 to an American entrepreneur, and moved to Arizona? What product has the slogan "Tell 'em about the honey, Mummy" ? An emerald is normally what colour? What is the name given to a group of witches? Which country's national symbol is a Lotus flower? By what stage name did William Claude Dukenfield achieve fame? During which TV game show were the contestants invited to go "wild in the aisles"? In the 1994 film "The Flintstones", which legendary actress played Fred Flintstone's mother-in-law? In September 2003, Fathers 4 Justice campaigner Jason Hatch caused an embarrassing security breach at Buckingham Palace dressed as who? What is the largest planet in our Solar System? Which famous footballer left Tottenham in 1992 to join Japanese side Grampus Eight? What distance is covered in one circuit of a modern outdoor running track? How many players are there in a hockey team? Issac Hayes provides the voice of Chef in which animated TV comedy series ? Which movie features a space ship called the Nostromo? What country had the Roman name Hibernia? Who appeared on the world's first postage stamp, the Penny Black? In which country was Marie Curie born? Poland, Austria or Switzerland? On which BBC TV show did the plasticine character Morph first appear? International Nurses Day is held on May 12, the anniversary of the birth of which famous nurse? What 1984 film starred Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd and Sigourney Weaver? On a standard dart board, what is the lowest number that cannot be scored with a single dart? Who had a top ten hit with “I Love Rock ‘N’ Roll" in April 1982? Which three sports make up the triathlon? Which 1973 hit single includes the lyrics "and the man in the back said everyone attack"? the 3 points system 12 Kidderminster Harriers 76 Q Viva Las Vegas "Q" and "Z" (both worth 10 points) Orson Welles Wellington Po Halle Berry The Cheeky Girls Dynamite The Cutty Sark Badger The Dandy London Bridge Sugar Puffs Green A coven India W. C. Fields Supermarket Sweep Elizabeth Taylor Batman Jupiter Gary Lineker 400 metres 11 South Park Alien Ireland Queen Victoria Poland Take Hart Florence Nightingale "Ghostbusters" 23 Joan Jett & The Blackhearts Running, Cycling and Swimming "Ballroom Blitz" (by Sweet) What was the name of author A. A. Milne's son, the name of whom he used in his "Winnie The Pooh" books? Which gift is traditionally given on a 15th wedding anniversary? China, Crystal or Tin? Which "P" is the correct technical term for the art of making and displaying fireworks? Desmond Llewelyn play which character in 17 Bond Filmsof ? Which film did Elvis Presley play the character of Lucky Jackson in, and had a title which was also a hit single for Elvis? What two letters are worth the most in a game of Scrabble? Who created havoc in 1938, when his radio broadcast of "The War Of The Worlds" was believed to be true? What is the world's most southerly capital? Which of the Teletubbies is the smallest? Who played Ororo Munroe, a.k.a. Storm, in the 2000 film X-Men? How are twin sisters Monica and Gabriela Irimia better known in the music world? Alfred Nobel, the man after whom the Nobel Prizes are named, was originally well known for inventing what? Which famous ship was damaged by fire in May 2007 while undergoing restoration at Greenwich in London? What type of animal lives in a sett? With which comic would you associate Beryl the Peril and Korky the Cat? Which london landmark was sold in 1962 to an American entrepreneur, and moved to Arizona? What product has the slogan "Tell 'em about the honey, Mummy" ? An emerald is normally what colour? What is the name given to a group of witches? Which country's national symbol is a Lotus flower? By what stage name did William Claude Dukenfield achieve fame? During which TV game show were the contestants invited to go "wild in the aisles"? In the 1994 film "The Flintstones", which legendary actress played Fred Flintstone's mother-in-law? In September 2003, Fathers 4 Justice campaigner Jason Hatch caused an embarrassing security breach at Buckingham Palace dressed as who? What is the largest planet in our Solar System? Which famous footballer left Tottenham in 1992 to join Japanese side Grampus Eight? What distance is covered in one circuit of a modern outdoor running track? How many players are there in a hockey team? Issac Hayes provides the voice of Chef in which animated TV comedy series ? Which movie features a space ship called the Nostromo? What country had the Roman name Hibernia? Who appeared on the world's first postage stamp, the Penny Black? In which country was Marie Curie born? Poland, Austria or Switzerland? On which BBC TV show did the plasticine character Morph first appear? International Nurses Day is held on May 12, the anniversary of the birth of which famous nurse? What 1984 film starred Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd and Sigourney Weaver? On a standard dart board, what is the lowest number that cannot be scored with a single dart? Who had a top ten hit with “I Love Rock ‘N’ Roll" in April 1982? Which three sports make up the triathlon? Which 1973 hit single includes the lyrics "and the man in the back said everyone attack"? What was the name of author A. A. Milne's son, the name of whom he used in his "Winnie The Pooh" books? Christopher Robin Crystal Pyrotechnics Q Viva Las Vegas "Q" and "Z" (both worth 10 points) Orson Welles Wellington Po Halle Berry The Cheeky Girls Dynamite The Cutty Sark Badger The Dandy London Bridge Sugar Puffs Green A coven India W. C. Fields Supermarket Sweep Elizabeth Taylor Batman Jupiter Gary Lineker 400 metres 11 South Park Alien Ireland Queen Victoria Poland Take Hart Florence Nightingale "Ghostbusters" 23 Joan Jett & The Blackhearts Running, Cycling and Swimming "Ballroom Blitz" (by Sweet) Christopher Robin Which gift is traditionally given on a 15th wedding anniversary? China, Crystal or Tin? Which "P" is the correct technical term for the art of making and displaying fireworks? Which bird is known worldwide as the symbol of wisdom? The film and book ‘Ring of Bright Water’ told the story of which kind of creature? In which town is Fawlty Towers set? Who is the father of Fifi Trixibelle, Peaches and Pixie? Which company was founded in Southampton during 1969 by David Quale and Richard Block? Which British ladies tennis player won the French Open in 1976? What is the highest mountain in Africa? In which country is Auschwitz concentration camp? From which country did the Soviet Union withdraw in 1988 ending a 10-year war? Which motorcar shares its name with a Spanish born painter and sculptor? Which Islands did Captain Cook name The Friendly Islands? Chartwell in Kent was the home of which former Prime Minister? Who was the Greek Gladiator who raised an army of his fellow slaves in a revolt against Roman rule in 73 BC and was latter crucified? The main square in Venice is named after which saint? In which month is the Notting Hill Carnival held? Who was the first soccer player to score 100 league goals in the Premier League? With which classic song did Bruce Willis have a UK No.2 hit in 1987? On which Apollo mission did Armstrong and Aldrin land on the moon? Which three people presented the Generation Game before Jim Davidson? In which county is the seaside town of Westward Ho!? Name the 3 female suspects in a game of Cluedo? At the age of 42, which Cameroon player became the oldest ever to play in the World Cup Finals? At which resort did Billy Butlin establish his first holiday camp? True or False: St. Patrick was born in Ireland? What colour is the centre scoring zone on an archery target? Which footballing duo sang "Diamond Lights" in 1987? Who had a number one hit in 1974 called "Billy Don't Be A Hero"? The loganberry is a cross between which 2 fruits? Which ship carried the Pilgrim Fathers to America? If you were celebrating your China Wedding Aniversary how many years would it be? In the cartoon strip What is Andy Capps wife called In which ocean is 'Easter Island' Mount Olympus is the largest mountain in which country Whose real name is Annie Mae Bullock Which Brighton hotel was bombed during the Conservative Party Conference in 1984? In which country did Victoria Beckham marry David Beckham? What do they call Barney Rubble’s son in The Flintstones? Name the Biblical father of Shem, Ham and Napeth? What bird lays the smallest eggs? Which TV Sports presenter was associated with the catch phrase “Up and Under”? Crystal Pyrotechnics The Owl Otter Torquay Bob Geldof (B & Q) (Sue Barker) (Mt Kilimanjaro) Poland (Afghanistan) (The Citroen Xsara Picasso) (Tonga) (Winston Churchill) (Sparticus) (St. Mark) (August) (Alan Shearer) (Under The Boardwalk) (Apollo 11) (Bruce Forsyth, Larry Grayson & Roy Castle) (Devon) Miss Scarlet / Mrs. Peacock / Mrs. White Roger Milla (Skegness) False (he was born in Wales) Gold Chris Waddle and Glenn Hoddle Paper Lace Raspberry and blackberry The Mayflower 20 Years Flo South Pacific Ocean Greece Tina Turner The Grand Luttrellstown Castle, Republic of Ireland Bam Bam Noah Hummingbird Eddie Waring Which confectionary currently has the slogan “The Lighter way to enjoy chocolate”? In which northern city was Eddie Stobbart’s haulage founded? Which film saw Sylvester Stallone, Pele, Bobby Moore and Michael Caine playing as football team mates? In 1983, breakfast television came to Britain. Francis Wilson was the regular presenter on BBC’s’ Breakfast Time’, now to be found on Sky News Which feature did he present? The Worlds largest Mobile Phone maker, Nokia, is based In which country? Which Birmingham born comedian was born Robert Davies? Who pleaded for a Royal Pardon in 1977, saying that he had done nothing wrong since 1965? The 1993 movie Free Willy was centred around what type of animal? What is sake made from? What does a somnambulist do? According the the Bible how many of each type of animal did Moses take on the Ark? How many dots are there in total on a pair of Dice The Savoy Grill, the Boxwood Café at the Berkeley Hotel and Maze are all restaurants owned by which famous chef? According to the old proverb all roads lead to which capital city? February is the shortest month in the year, but which is the longest? Who did Bill Clinton famously admit to having an affair with during his time as President of the USA? Who discovered penicillin on Valentine's Day in 1929? Who founded the Metropolitan Police Force in 1829? Who is the only actor to appear in The Magnificent Seven and The Dirty Dozen? Who in the House of Lords sits on the ‘Woolsack”? The ‘Bonneville’ Motorbike is made by whom? Which drink was advertised as "The Cream of Manchester" Out of all the animals which make up the Chinese horoscope, which comes first alphabetically? Playing for Leeds United in August 1992, who became the first player to score a hat-trick in the Premiership? Maximus Decimus Meridius was the main character in which film? Nairobi is the capital of which African country? International Nursing Day was chosen as May 12th as it is the anniversary of the birth of which famous person from history? In which hand does the Statue Of Liberty hold a torch? Left or Right? In which city is the famous Spanish Riding School? In which British city was Guy Fawkes born and Dick Turpin killed? In what year did the Japanese bomb Pearl Harbour? In the 1984 Olympics, who did Zola Budd accidentally trip up? In nature, what does a dendrologist study? In 1989, which ship hit a reef in Prince William Sound in Alaska, causing a major oil spill? Which TV Personality has the cash phrase "Chase me" According to the nursery rhyme, what type of food would Jack Sprat not eat? By what name was the serial killer Albert DeSalvo, who killed 13 women between 1962 and 1964, better known? Death`s-head, large yellow underwing, tiger, and peppered are all types of which creature? Frascati, Chianti and Lambrusco are all wines from which country? How did Judith Keppel make television history in November 2000? Maltesers Carlisle Escape to Victory Weather Finland Jasper CARROTT (Ronald Biggs) Killer Whale (Orca). Rice Sleepwalk None (Noah did) 42 Gordon Ramsey Rome October, because the clocks go back so it lasts 3 Monica Lewinsky Sir Alexander Fleming Robert Peel Charles Bronson (The Lord Chancellor) Triumph Boddingtons Dog Eric Cantona "Gladiator" Kenya Florence Nightingale Right (Vienna) York 1941 Mary Decker Trees Exxon Valdez Duncan Norvelle Fat The Boston Strangler Moth (Italy) She won a million on 'Who Wants To Be A Million Which singer got his name from the Black and Yellow striped top he often wore? Hermit, spider and blue are all types of which creature? How is the character, Geraldine Granger better known in a BBC TV comedy series? How is the gas Nitrous Oxide better known? How many babies did Janet Walton give birth to in November, 1983? How many bottles of champagne are there in a magnum? Who was suspended in a Plexiglas above Potters Field in London for 44 Days in 2003 ? From which country does the dish paella originate? How many yards wide is a soccer goal? Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu who founded the Missionary of Charity in Calcutta is better known as who? In 1985, Manchester United player Kevin Moran became the first player to do what in an FA Cup final? Jerry Hall bared all at the Gielgud Theatre replacing Kathleen Turner in the role of Mrs Robinson in which play ? In football, who was Liverpool's captain when they first won the European cup final in 1977? In George Orwell's "Animal Farm" what type of animal was "Napoleon"? In the 1990 film 'The Hunt For Red October', who or what is Red October? In the series of children's "Noddy" books, what is the name of the policeman? Which highwayman was hanged in 1739? In which American city was John Lennon shot? In which book does a blind beggar, David Pew, appear? In which British city would you find Arthur's Seat? Which French Museum is the most visited in the world ? In which chain of holiday camps are staff known as Bluecoats? In which children's TV show could you have seen the character of Windy Miller? In which city would you find O'Hare International Airport? Which world famous department store is in the Knightsbridge area of London ? In which English county is the Lake District? In which film did Roger Moore first play James Bond? Which well known momument can be found at Acra, India ? Joe Dimaggio asked for a fresh rose to be placed on her grave, every week, forever. Whose grave? King Edward, Jersey Royal and Maris Piper are different varieties of what type of food? Kingston is the capital city of which island in the West Indies? Lanzarote and Tenerife are part of which group of islands? Lord Justice Taylor led the enquiry into which sporting disaster? Which sweet was "Made to make your mouth water" ? Mary Nichols and Anne Chapman were two of the six victims of who? Agneta, Bjorn, Benna, Anna-Freda are collectively known as Who ? Which is the Odd, Obne Out - Oboe, Trumpet, Flute, Clarinet? On which British island would you find the Great Wheel of Laxey? Originally made in a drugstore in Waco, Texas and still enjoyed today, what is America's oldest soft drink? Peter Simple, Jack Horner and Ben Nevis have all won which famous sporting event? Which singer got his name from the Black and Yellow striped top he often wore? Hermit, spider and blue are all types of which creature? How is the character, Geraldine Granger better known in a BBC TV comedy series? Sting Crab (The Vicar of Dibley) Laughing gas 6 2 David Blaine Spain 8 Mother Theresa Get sent off The Graduate Emlyn Hughes A pig Submarine Mr. Plod (PC) Dick Turpin New York City (Treasure Island) Edinburgh The Louvre (Pontins) Camberwick Green Chicago Harrods Cumbria Live And Let Die Tag Mahal Marilyn Monroe Potato Jamaica Canary Islands 1989 Hillsborough Disaster Opal fruits Jack The Ripper Abba Trumpet - the others are woodwind instruments. (Isle of Mann) Dr. Pepper The Grand National Sting Crab (The Vicar of Dibley) How is the gas Nitrous Oxide better known? How many babies did Janet Walton give birth to in November, 1983? How many bottles of champagne are there in a magnum? Who was suspended in a Plexiglas above Potters Field in London for 44 Days in 2003 ? From which country does the dish paella originate? How many yards wide is a soccer goal? Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu who founded the Missionary of Charity in Calcutta is better known as who? In 1985, Manchester United player Kevin Moran became the first player to do what in an FA Cup final? Jerry Hall bared all at the Gielgud Theatre replacing Kathleen Turner in the role of Mrs Robinson in which play ? In football, who was Liverpool's captain when they first won the European cup final in 1977? In George Orwell's "Animal Farm" what type of animal was "Napoleon"? In the 1990 film 'The Hunt For Red October', who or what is Red October? In the series of children's "Noddy" books, what is the name of the policeman? Which highwayman was hanged in 1739? In which American city was John Lennon shot? In which book does a blind beggar, David Pew, appear? In which British city would you find Arthur's Seat? Which French Museum is the most visited in the world ? In which chain of holiday camps are staff known as Bluecoats? In which children's TV show could you have seen the character of Windy Miller? In which city would you find O'Hare International Airport? Which world famous department store is in the Knightsbridge area of London ? In which English county is the Lake District? In which film did Roger Moore first play James Bond? Which well known momument can be found at Acra, India ? Joe Dimaggio asked for a fresh rose to be placed on her grave, every week, forever. Whose grave? King Edward, Jersey Royal and Maris Piper are different varieties of what type of food? Kingston is the capital city of which island in the West Indies? Lanzarote and Tenerife are part of which group of islands? Lord Justice Taylor led the enquiry into which sporting disaster? Which sweet was "Made to make your mouth water" ? Mary Nichols and Anne Chapman were two of the six victims of who? Agneta, Bjorn, Benna, Anna-Freda are collectively known as Who ? Which is the Odd, Obne Out - Oboe, Trumpet, Flute, Clarinet? On which British island would you find the Great Wheel of Laxey? Originally made in a drugstore in Waco, Texas and still enjoyed today, what is America's oldest soft drink? Peter Simple, Jack Horner and Ben Nevis have all won which famous sporting event? A cantaloupe belongs to which family of fruits? How many counties make up Northern Ireland? 4, 6 or 8? For which newspaper does Clark Kent work in Superman? In which city are the headquarters of Interpol? Nicknamed the "Black Panther", who was the top scorer in the 1966 World Cup finals? Polyvinyl chloride is more commonly known as what ? Laughing gas 6 2 David Blaine Spain 8 Mother Theresa Get sent off The Graduate Emlyn Hughes A pig Submarine Mr. Plod (PC) Dick Turpin New York City (Treasure Island) Edinburgh The Louvre (Pontins) Camberwick Green Chicago Harrods Cumbria Live And Let Die Tag Mahal Marilyn Monroe Potato Jamaica Canary Islands 1989 Hillsborough Disaster Opal fruits Jack The Ripper Abba Trumpet - the others are woodwind instruments. (Isle of Mann) Dr. Pepper The Grand National Melon 6. Antrim, Armagh, Down, Fermanagh, Londond The Daily Planet Paris Eusebio PVC The De Lorean car is featured in which trilogy of films ? Which organisation has the motto Fidelity, Bravery & Integrity? What is the Hindu classic book on etiquette, home making, marriage and the art of lovemaking called? The BBC Sports Personality of the Year has only once been shared by two people in 1984. Who were they? From which animal does Haggis come? Which American river is 3860 miles long ? What 1968 film features the characters Caractacus Potts and Truly Scrumptious? How many players make up a netball team? Who is the Greek god of the Sea? What is Fred Flintstone's wife called? Which is the largest bird of these two, Swift or Swallow? Tim Robbins played the part of the city banker, Andy Defresne, who was wrongly imprisoned in which film ? Which American city is nicknamed "The Windy City"? What is the more common name for the book called The Modern Prometheus written by Mary Shelley Which Fast Food Chain first started trading in Miami in 1954 What is the capital of Finland? Who has appeared in more Alfred Hitchock films than any one else? What article of clothing is a Homburg? If you had a beard you would not be allowed to compete in the Olympics at what sport? Who played the Bionic Woman? The newspaper tychoon Jan Ludvic Hock is better known as who, who mysteriously died in 1991? How many Nobel Prizes are awarded annually? Which sport takes place in Happy Valley, Hong Kong? Which 5 letters were never used as a prefix on a British car registration plate to, show the age of the vehicle? What are the five flavours you'd find in a packet of Rowntrees pastilles Alaska borders how many other American states? Which pop group had hits with Rubber Bullets & Dreadlock holiday? Which female won a tennis 'Golden Slam' in 1988 by winning the singles titles at the Australian, French, Wimbledon and United States tennis championships and winning a gold medal at the Olympic games? In which country is Auschwitz concentration camp? What was built for the 1889 Universal Exhibition in Paris and remained the World’s tallest structure until New York’s Chrysler Building opened in 1930? Which piece of horse racing equipment was used fir the first time in the UK during the Chesterfield Stakes at Newmarket in 1965? Beefsteak, Brandywine, and Bill’s Heart are all varieties of which edible object? The English actor Tony Booth is the father of which Prime Ministers wife? What does it mean about the taste if a wine is described as "brut"? What is the name of Tony Blair's Daughter? What is the capital of Jamaica? Who Lived at 221B Baker Street? What was first manufactured in 1830 by William Perrins & John Lea? Back to the Future The FBI The Kamasutra Torville & Dean Sheep Mississippi Chitty Chitty Bang Bang 7 Poseidon Wilma Swift The Shawshank Redemption Chicago Frankenstein Burger King Helsinki Alfred Hitchcock A Soft Felt Hat Boxing Lindsay Wagner Robert Maxwell 6 - Physics, Chemistry, Physiology or Medicine, L Horse racing I, O, Q, U, Z Strawberry, Blackcurrant, Orange, Lemon, Lime. None 10CC Steffi Graf (Poland) The Eiffel Tower Starting Stalls Tomato Tony Blair - wife Cherie It is very dry Kathryn Kingston sherlock holmes Worcester Sauce In which month of the year does the 'American Superbowl' take place? Which Politician/Writer took part in a Play called 'The Accused' in the year 2000? What is the Sunday before Easter called? What star sign would you be if you were born on June 1st? Pete Best & Stuart Sutcliffe played with which band in their early career tours of Germany? Which car manufacturer makes the Micra? What was Picasso's first name ‘Better to die than to be a coward’ is the motto of which famous British Army fighting force made up totally of foreign soldiers? Leghorn, Orpington & Sussex are Breeds of which animal? On which motorway would you find the Dartford Tunnel? Michael Bond created which childrens character from Peru ? In maths what is greater, a yard or a metre? In which country of the UK would you find the Brecon Beacons? What is the world’s largest tea producing nation? In the Bible, who’s wife was turned into a pillar of salt? Rapid Vienna were beaten by which English Football team in the Final of the 1985 European Cup Winners Cup? Which King turned everything he touched to Gold In which American state is Amarillo? In baseball, how many innings does each team have? What connects Anne Frank, Samuel Pepys and Adrian Mole? In a 147 break how many points are scored potting the black? Who’s address is 16, Lancaster Gate? What colour are Harrods’s shopping bags Which gas makes people who breathe it talk with squeaky voices Which English City was named European City of Culture for 2008 Which Cartoon Character has the catchphrase “Tha's all I can stands, and I can't stands no more!" The ex England soccer goalkeeper, David Seaman played his first England international match whilst he was playing with which club? What is the capital of the Isle of Man? What nationality is Jockey Frankie Dettori? In May 1994 The Channel Tunnel was officially opened at which English port? Which county is associated with a breed of bull terrier? What are the first names of the Mom and Dad in The Adams Family? Which cut of beef is found between the rump and the fore rib? What is the world’s most southerly capital? What disease is the BCG vaccine used to combat? Which Queen song was the Christmas number one in the UK in both 1975 and 1991? What is the name of Tony Blair's Daughter? What is the capital of Jamaica? Who Lived at 221B Baker Street? What was first manufactured in 1830 by William Perrins & John Lea? January Jeffrey Archer Palm Sunday Gemini Beatles Nissan Pablo Ghurkas Hens M25 Paddington Bear Metre Wales India Lot’s Everton King Midas Texas Nine They all wrote diaries 112 The Football Association Green Helium Liverpool Popeye Queens Park Rangers Douglas Italian Folkestone Staffordshire (Morticia and Gomez) (Sirloin) (Wellington, New Zealand) (Tuberculosis) "Bohemian Rhapsody" Kathryn Kingston sherlock holmes Worcester Sauce In which month of the year does the 'American Superbowl' take place? Which Politician/Writer took part in a Play called 'The Accused' in the year 2000? What is the Sunday before Easter called? What star sign would you be if you were born on June 1st? Pete Best & Stuart Sutcliffe played with which band in their early career tours of Germany? Which car manufacturer makes the Micra? What was Picasso's first name ‘Better to die than to be a coward’ is the motto of which famous British Army fighting force made up totally of foreign soldiers? Leghorn, Orpington & Sussex are Breeds of which animal? On which motorway would you find the Dartford Tunnel? Michael Bond created which childrens character from Peru ? In maths what is greater, a yard or a metre? In which country of the UK would you find the Brecon Beacons? What is the world’s largest tea producing nation? In the Bible, who’s wife was turned into a pillar of salt? Rapid Vienna were beaten by which English Football team in the Final of the 1985 European Cup Winners Cup? Which King turned everything he touched to Gold In which American state is Amarillo? In baseball, how many innings does each team have? What connects Anne Frank, Samuel Pepys and Adrian Mole? In a 147 break how many points are scored potting the black? Who’s address is 16, Lancaster Gate? What colour are Harrods’s shopping bags Which gas makes people who breathe it talk with squeaky voices Which English City was named European City of Culture for 2008 Which Cartoon Character has the catchphrase “Tha's all I can stands, and I can't stands no more!" The ex England soccer goalkeeper, David Seaman played his first England international match whilst he was playing with which club? What is the capital of the Isle of Man? What nationality is Jockey Frankie Dettori? In May 1994 The Channel Tunnel was officially opened at which English port? Which county is associated with a breed of bull terrier? What are the first names of the Mom and Dad in The Adams Family? Which cut of beef is found between the rump and the fore rib? What is the world’s most southerly capital? What disease is the BCG vaccine used to combat? Which Queen song was the Christmas number one in the UK in both 1975 and 1991? IN THE BOOK WRITTEN BY JONATHAN SWIFT WHO VISITED THE FLYING ISLAND OF LAPUTA ON HIS TRAVELS? WHICH COUNTRY WAS FORMERLY KNOWN AS PERSIA? IN WHICH MUSEUM IS THE MONA LISA KEPT? WHAT IS THE MORE COMMON NAME FOR THE AURORA BOREALIS? January Jeffrey Archer Palm Sunday Gemini Beatles Nissan Pablo Ghurkas Hens M25 Paddington Bear Metre Wales India Lot’s Everton King Midas Texas Nine They all wrote diaries 112 The Football Association Green Helium Liverpool Popeye Queens Park Rangers Douglas Italian Folkestone Staffordshire (Morticia and Gomez) (Sirloin) (Wellington, New Zealand) (Tuberculosis) "Bohemian Rhapsody" GULLIVER IRAN THE LOUVRE THE NORTHERN LIGHTS THE ACTRESS BETTY GRABLE HAD HER WHAT INSURED BY 20TH CENTURY FOX FOR 1 MILLION DOLLARS? HOW MANY ROUNDS ARE THERE IN AN OLYMPIC BOXING MATCH? THE WINCHESTER WAS THE NAME OF THE PUB IN WHICH COMEDY TV SERIES? THE TASMIN SEA LIES BETWEEN WHICH TWO COUNTRIES? HOW MANY WINGS DOES A BEE HAVE? CHARLOTTE EDWARDS LED THE ENGLISH WOMAN'S TEAM TO WORLD CUP GLORY IN 2009. IN WHICH SPORT? TYNWALD IS THE NAME OF THE PARLIAMENT OF WHICH ISLAND? BY WHAT NAME IS SODIUM CHLORIDE BETTER KNOWN? WHICH BIRD LAYS THE BIGGEST EGG IN THE WORLD? IF A BRITISH OWNED AREOPLANE CRASHES ON THE BORDER BETWEEN GERMANY AND POLAND IN WHICH COUNTRY WOULD THE SURVIVORS BE BURIED? IF A SOW IS A FEMALE PIG, WHAT IS A MALE PIG KNOWN AS? WHICH IS THE FURTHEST PLANET FROM THE SUN? WHAT IS THE WORLDS NORTHERN MOST CAPITAL CITY? LOUISE BROWN IS FAMOUS FOR BEING THE FIRST WHAT IN 1978? HIPPOMANIA IS THE NAME GIVEN TO THE OBCESSION OF WHICH ANIMALS? WHICH STATUE OF A CHARACTER BY HANS CHRISTIAN ANDERSONS SITS ON A ROCK IN COPENHAGEN HARBOUR HOW MANY PLAYERS MAKE UP A AUSTRALIAN RULES FOOTBALL TEAM? IN A CRICKET MATCH IF ALL THE BATSMAN ARE BOWLED OUT IN CONSECUTIVE BALLS WHICH NUMBER BATSMAN WOULD BE NOT OUT? ACQUIRED IMMUNE DEFICIENCY SYNDROME IS MORE COMMONLY KNOWN AS WHAT? WHAT IS THE LONGEST BONE IN THE HUMAN BODY? THE CHIHAUHAU DOG GETS IT'S NAME FROM A TOWN IN WHICH COUNTRY? BUZZ ALDRIN WAS THE SECOND ASTRONAUT TO DO WHAT? WHAT WAS THE NICKNAME GIVEN TO THE FAMOUS BOXING MATCH BETWEEN MUHAMMED ALI AND JOE FRAZIER IN 1975? WHO WAS KNOWN AS THE MAID OF ORLEANS? WHAT WAS SIGNIFICANT ABOUT THE DEATH OF RUTH ELLIS IN 1955? WHAT ARE THE FIVE COLORS OF THE OLYMPIC RINGS IN A CARTOON BOOK SERIES GETAFIX THE DRUID PROVIDES POTIONS FOR WHICH FAMOUS GAUL? IN WHICH CITY WAS THE TITANIC BUILT? THE MONTGOLFIER BROTHERS WERE THE FIRST TO INVENT WHAT IN FRANCE IN 1783? WHICH FAMOUS INDIAN LEADER WAS ASSASINATED BY NATHURAM GODSE IN 1948? CARDIFF CITY ARE THE ONLY WELSH FOOTBALL CLUB TO HAVE TRIANGLE CORNER FLAGS. WHY? WHAT ASTRAL EVENT APPEARS EVERY 76 YEARS OVINE RELATES TO WHICH TYPE OF ANIMAL? CHRIS PATTON WAS THE LAST GOVERNER OF WHICH BRITISH COLONY? IN WHICH SPORT DO THE PLAYERS TAKE LONG AND SHORT CORNERS? WHAT IS THE NAME OF POSTMAN PAT'S BLACK CAT? Who won the 2009 BBC Sports Personality Award? In which decade were TV licences introduced in the UK? HER LEGS FOUR MINDER NEW ZEALAND & AUSTRALIA 4 CRICKET ISLE OF MAN SALT OSTRICH NEITHER. YOU DON'T BURY SURVIVORS A BOAR PLUTO REYKJAVIK FIRST TEST TUBE BABY HORSES THE LITTLE MERMAID 18 NO 8 AIDS FEMUR (THIGH BONE) MEXICO WALK ON THE MOON THRILLER IN MANILLA JOAN OF ARC LAST WOMAN TO BE EXECUTED IN BRITAIN RED, GREEN, BLUE, YELLOW, BLACK ASTERIX BELFAST THE HOT AIR BALLOON MAHATMA GHANDI THEY ARE THE ONLY WELSH TEAM TO WIN THE HALEY'S COMET SHEEP HONG KONG HOCKEY JESS Ryan Giggs 1940's - 1946 Arctic King, Saladin and Tom Thumb are which types of vegetable? By what name is the motorway system at Gravelly Hill Interchange, Birmingham better known? What is the oldest university in the USA? Angela Merkel became the first female chancellor of which European country ? Who played the Ringo Kid in the original Stagecoach film? Yeomen Warders at the Tower of London are commonly known by what other name? Which London store was first to have an escalator installed? In which ocean is Ascension Island? Which two European countries are connected by the Simplon Pass? Which artist/sculptor said, "When we love a woman we don't start measuring her limbs" ? What was the Polish born German World War One Fighter Pilot Manfred von Richtofen's nickname? Which is the largest of the Channel Islands? What does NATO stand for? Which fashion items does Jimmy Choo design? Which British prime minister had a bag named after him? What is the title of the film about a Scottish village that awakens once every 100 years? In which country was actor Mel Gibson born? What did the Warren Commission investigate in the US in the 1960's? In which part of the body is the smallest bone? Which is the oldest football (soccer) club in London? A Crozier is the name of the hooked staff carried by whom? Which British patriotic song is the work of the composer Thomas Arne? Which is the longest mountain range in the world? Golda Meir was the famous female prime minister of which country? Who beat seven foot tall boxer Nikolay Valuev to become the new WBA heavyweight champion? The statue of which Royal person was unveiled in London's The Mall in February 2009? Rachel Riley succeeded which long-standing Countdown celebrity in January 2009? Yootha Joyce and Brian Murphy played the title roles in which UK 1970s TV sitcom? A Howdah is the name of the seat used for riding on the back of which animal? What pub paraphernalia does a tegestologist collect? Which of the British armed forces is known as the Senior Service? La Scala is the name of a opera house which opened in which Italian city in 1778? What is the longest nerve in the human body? What famous sportsman starred in the 2009 film Looking for Eric? What is the chemical formula of snow? What is the title of the first James Bond film in 1962? What was the name and call-sign of the Apollo Eleven lunar module which landed on the moon in 1969? Which World War Two leader was nicknamed the Desert Fox? Andy Robinson succeeded which historic England rugby union coach? Which womans accessory would you have bought if it had been designed by Hermes? The Galápagos Islands are a provincial territory of Equador, How many miles are they apart? (50 Either side) Which Gilbert & Sullivan Opera based in Japan is also known as the "Little Town of Titipu" Lettuce Spaghetti Junction Harvard Germany John Wayne Beefeaters Harrods Atlantic Switzerland and Italy Pablo Picasso The Red Barron Jersey North Atlantic Treaty Organization Shoes Gladstone Brigadoon USA. New York The assassination of John F Kennedy In the ear - the stirrup Fulham (est. 1879) A Bishop Rule Britannia The Andes (7,240km) Israel (1969-74) David Haye (England) The Queen Mother (Queen Elizabeth the Queen M Carol Vorderman George and Mildred Elephant Beermats Royal Navy Milan Sciatic nerve Eric Cantona H2O Dr No Eagle Rommel (Field Marshal Erwin Rommel) Sir Clive Woodward A Handbag (kelly Bag) 600 miles (50 either side) The Mikado Which singer is nicknamed "The Boss"? "You're gonna need a bigger boat." is a quote from which movie? Which American President was the teddy bear named? Who held Arsenals all time goal scoring record prior to being overtaken by Thierry Henry in 2007 Chantilly, Lille and Honiton are all types of what? How did St. Patrick drive the snakes from Ireland? By playing the flute, by playing the harp or by banging a drum? Which "Doctor" was arrested in 1910 on board the SS Montrose for the murder of his wife and is regarded as the first criminal to be arrested with the help of radio comunication? During which TV game show were the contestants invited by Dale Winton to go "wild in the aisles"? At the age of 42, which Cameroon player became the oldest ever to play in the World Cup Finals? Which actor did Jennifer Anniston marry in July 2000? Campanology is the proper term for the art of What? The Rainbow warrior was a trawler that which was sunk in July 1985to which organisation did it belong? Behind Asia, what is the second largest continent in the world? From which country does the lambada dance originate? Which Scotsman's birthday is celebrated throughout the world on 25th January? Goalkeeper Rene Higuita's who cleared a shot against England, when he dived under the ball and back-heeled it while airborne. What was his nationality ? In which year did the Channel Tunnel open 1992, 1994, 1996/ What is the name given to the tail of a fox? Which cocktail consists of Tia Maria, Vodka and Coke? Football team Benfica come from which country? Does the tropic of cancer run North or South of the equator? What colour is the zero on a roulette wheel? Prior to 1664, which american city was called New Amsterdam? Before the Euro, what was the unit of currency of the Netherlands? Florence Nightingale was a nurse during which war? What does a cutler make, sell or repair ? Which is the highest civilian award for bravery in this country? Erie, Huron, Michigan, Superior and Ontario are collectivly known as what ? Which car company makes a 4 x 4 model called the Grand Vitara? Which company made the first tea bags? What happened in Ireland 1847 that is sometimes referred to as "Black Forty Seven"? How many times are a team allowed to touch a volleyball before it crosses the net? What was significant about the words "Watson, please come here, I want you." when spoken in 1876? What is the largest mammal in the world and can reach a length of 100 foot? If all the American states were listed in alphabetical order, which would come last? Who discovered the law of gravity? Legend says that lovers will be assured eternal love if they kiss at sunset under the Bridge of Sighs in Which European City? What language is spoken in the country of Lichenstein? Topiary is the traditional centuries old art of clipping what into various ornamental shapes? Bruce Springsteen Jaws Theodore Roosevelt (Teddy) Ian Wright Lace Banging a drum Dr. Crippen Supermarket Sweep Roger Milla Brad Pitt Bell Ringing GreenPeace Africa Brazil Robert Burns Columbian 1994 Brush Black Russian Portugal North Green New York Guilder The Crimean War knives George Cross The Great Lakes Suzuki Tetley The potato famine 3 It was the first complete sentence spoken over t The Blue Whale Wyoming Sir Isaac Newton Venice German Hedges What type of tweed is exclusively spun and woven in the Outer Hebrides exclusively? What is the pirate's flag with the skull and cross-bones called ? What type of weapon is a Kukri carried Gurka soldiers? Yom Kippur is the other name for the day of Atonement in Which Religion? Which bandleader died in an air crash over the English Channel during World War II ? Which creatures live in a formicary ? What is measured on the Beaufort scale ? Which two letters are worth ten points in the board game Scrabble ? What colour is a New York taxi ? Who was the captain of the Pequod in Moby Dick ? Where would you find the 'Ocean of Storms'? With a total drop of 948 meters (3,110 feet) in five free-leaping falls, Tugela Falls is the world's second highest waterfall. They are located in the Drakensberg (Dragon's Mountains) range in which country? Which two elements make up water ? On January 27, 1984, while filming a commercial for which company in Los Angeles did Michael Jackson suffer second degree burns to his scalp after pyrotechnics accidentally set his hair on fire? For navagation and locational information What does GPS stand for? What is the name of the world's oldest international auction house founded in 1744 in continuous operation? Which tennis star received knife wounds to her back whilst playing in a quarter- final match in Hamburg in April 1993? Which brand of Volkswagen was named after a wind that blows from the Sahara? What did Christopher Cockerel invent? If you were eating calemare, what are you snacking on? Bosnia and Herzegovina, Croatia, Macedonia, Montenegro, Serbia, Slovenia and Kosovo.Were all originally part of which Country In which country is the Kimberly Gold Field? How did Detective Chief Superintendent John Coles make the news in May 2001? How many strings has a Ukulele? Which tribe did Geronimo lead? Which of London’s soccer clubs are nearest to the Thames? In which London borough are the 'Houses of Parliament' situated? Which Cheese is traditionally used in the topping of Pizza's? What is the female alter ego name used by 'Paul O'Grady' ? Which country shares its name with a popular high street shopping chain? Bill Clinton admitted having an ‘inappropriate relationship’ with whom in August 1998? Steve Redgrave made British history by winning his fifth consecutive Olympic gold medal in the coxless 4’s at the 2000 Olympics. Can you name 1 of the other rowers in the crew? In 1984, the Gillette Company reportedly offered members of which rock band $1 million dollars apiece to shave their beards for a television commercial (but they declined)? In March 1987, a car ferry capsized just outside the port of Zeebrugge with the loss of 49 passengers. What was the name of the ferry? What sport is played by the LA Lakers? Leather, Mirror and Scale are breeds of which common freshwater fish? Harris Jolly Roger Large Knife Jewish Glenn Miller Ants Wind Velocity Q and Z Yellow Captain Ahab On the Moon South Africa Hydrogen and Oxygen Pepsi Cola Global Positioning System Sotheby's Monica Seles Scirocco Hovercraft Squid Yugoslavia (Australia) (He arrested Ronnie Biggs on his return to Engla 4 (Apache) (Fulham) Westminster Mozzarella Lily Savage Iceland Monica Lewinsky Matthew Pinsent, Tim Foster and James Crackne ZZ Top The Herald of Free Enterprise Basketball Carp The Carpathia was the name of the ship that was first to appear on the scene of which nautical disaster? Legend says that lovers will be assured eternal love if they kiss at sunset under the Bridge of Sighs in Which European City? What language is spoken in the country of Lichenstein? Topiary is the traditional centuries old art of clipping what into various ornamental shapes? What type of tweed is exclusively spun and woven in the Outer Hebrides exclusively? What is the pirate's flag with the skull and cross-bones called ? What type of weapon is a Kukri carried Gurka soldiers? Yom Kippur is the other name for the day of Atonement in Which Religion? Which bandleader died in an air crash over the English Channel during World War II ? Which creatures live in a formicary ? What is measured on the Beaufort scale ? Which two letters are worth ten points in the board game Scrabble ? What colour is a New York taxi ? Who was the captain of the Pequod in Moby Dick ? Where would you find the 'Ocean of Storms'? With a total drop of 948 meters (3,110 feet) in five free-leaping falls, Tugela Falls is the world's second highest waterfall. They are located in the Drakensberg (Dragon's Mountains) range in which country? Which two elements make up water ? On January 27, 1984, while filming a commercial for which company in Los Angeles did Michael Jackson suffer second degree burns to his scalp after pyrotechnics accidentally set his hair on fire? For navagation and locational information What does GPS stand for? What is the name of the world's oldest international auction house founded in 1744 in continuous operation? Which tennis star received knife wounds to her back whilst playing in a quarter- final match in Hamburg in April 1993? Which brand of Volkswagen was named after a wind that blows from the Sahara? What did Christopher Cockerel invent? If you were eating calemare, what are you snacking on? Bosnia and Herzegovina, Croatia, Macedonia, Montenegro, Serbia, Slovenia and Kosovo.Were all originally part of which Country In which country is the Kimberly Gold Field? How did Detective Chief Superintendent John Coles make the news in May 2001? How many strings has a Ukulele? Which tribe did Geronimo lead? Which of London’s soccer clubs are nearest to the Thames? In which London borough are the 'Houses of Parliament' situated? Which Cheese is traditionally used in the topping of Pizza's? What is the female alter ego name used by 'Paul O'Grady' ? Which country shares its name with a popular high street shopping chain? Bill Clinton admitted having an ‘inappropriate relationship’ with whom in August 1998? Steve Redgrave made British history by winning his fifth consecutive Olympic gold medal in the coxless 4’s at the 2000 Olympics. Can you name 1 of the other rowers in the crew? The Sinking of the Titanic Venice German Hedges Harris Jolly Roger Large Knife Jewish Glenn Miller Ants Wind Velocity Q and Z Yellow Captain Ahab On the Moon South Africa Hydrogen and Oxygen Pepsi Cola Global Positioning System Sotheby's Monica Seles Scirocco Hovercraft Squid Yugoslavia (Australia) (He arrested Ronnie Biggs on his return to Engla 4 (Apache) (Fulham) Westminster Mozzarella Lily Savage Iceland Monica Lewinsky Matthew Pinsent, Tim Foster and James Crackne In 1984, the Gillette Company reportedly offered members of which rock band $1 million dollars apiece to shave their beards for a television commercial (but they declined)? In March 1987, a car ferry capsized just outside the port of Zeebrugge with the loss of 49 passengers. What was the name of the ferry? What sport is played by the LA Lakers? Leather, Mirror and Scale are breeds of which common freshwater fish? The Carpathia was the name of the ship that was first to appear on the scene of which nautical disaster? Who was the youngest player (as at 2009) to win the Wimbledon Men's Singles Final? What is the Japanese art of fencing which uses bamboo swords? Kendo Which Movie star model was the first to appear on the cover of the first issue of Playboy magazinein 1953? Name two of the three years In which Red Rum won the Grand National? What is a Palendrome? Grenache is a variety of which fruit? What is a mazurka - a Polish folk dance; an Italian picnic table; a Chinese fighting snail? Oxford and Cambridge reserve crews which compete before the Thames Boat Race main event are known as Isis and Goldie Which is Which? In cricket what is a batsman's score of zero commonly called? Basra is the second largest city in which country? Which footballer scored the first ever goal in the English Premiership? What merchant bank collapsed in 1995 due to unauthorised debts accumulated by trader Nick Leeson? Who's official residence is Holyroyd House in edinburgh Scotland? What is the official currency of the Netherlands? What is 'La Manche' in French and what does it typically refer to? Which countries two main islands are seperated by the Cook strait? What is CAMRA a society in appreciation of? Which financial catastrophere devastated america in New York in 1929? Russian-born Igor Sikorsky designed the first successful what? What is 'Port Salut' ? How many symbols are there in the Chinese calendar? What would you expect a cooper to make? What is the name of Britain's leading annual dog show? With which English county cricket club did Ian Botham finish his playing career? What do the initials SAS stand for? What gas is in the bubbles of sparkling drinks such as fizzy lemonade and champagne? The kimono is a traditional robe of which country? What was the name of the Thunderbirds' ex-con chauffeur who drove a pink Rolls-Royce? Which country sold Alaska to the USA? Leanardo, Rafael, Michaelangelo, Donatello were collectively known as which cartoon characters? What name is given to a building containing a cycle-racing track? Complete the TV theme tune…..It's Friday..It's 5 O'clock…It's What is the main language of Cuba? Prince wrote the Bangle's first big hit. What was it? ZZ Top The Herald of Free Enterprise Basketball Carp The Sinking of the Titanic Boris Becker Kendo Marilyn Monroe 1973, 1974, 1977 Word which reads the same backwards as forwa Grape Polish folk dance Isis (Oxford) and Goldie (Cambridge) A duck Iraq Brian Deane Barings The Queens Euro English Channel New Zealand Real Ale Wall Street Crash Helicopter Cheese 12 Barrels Crufts Durham Special Air Service Carbon dioxide (CO2) Japan Parker Russia Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Velodrome Crackerjack Spanish Manic Monday Which famous Bay in Sydney, Australia was the site of a landing by Captain James Cook of HMS Endeavour and sparked Britian's interest in Australia? Where is a 'Kippah' worn by Jews? What type of food is gazpacho? Cartoonist and screenwriter Millard Kaufman, who died in March 2009, created which short-sighted character? Which american President did John Hinkley attempt to assassinate in 1982? In Chinese philosophy, what is the complementary force to Yin? Traditionally finishing with a Vixen Break, and often using a Concorde roll, which 9 strong team have been entertaining the public for 40 years? In American Universities what is a 2nd year student called? In which building is the Kohinoor Diamond kept? The clothes logo DKNY is short for what? From which country does Nokia, the mobile phone company, originate? Which TV Chef plays drums in the pop group Scarlet Division? Nicholas Breakspear was the first and only British what? What country is nearest to the site of the sinking of the Titanic? What did Dennis Tito pay £14m for? In Dad's army, what was Private Frazier's day- time job? Aboard which ship did Captain Scott sail to the Antarctic in 1901? Why was professional footballer Maribel Dominguez forbidden by FIFA to play for Mexican side Celaya, having signed in 2009? Which footballers autobiography is called “Blessed”? What football team has the nickname The Royals ? In which year did the £1 note cease to be legal tender? How many segments make-up a Terry’s Chocolate Orange? In music, how is James Jewel Osterberg better known? An Archimedes screw is a device for moving what? Which English Palace was built by Cardinal Wolseley and presented to Henry VIII? During which war was the Battle of Marne? On which river does Balmoral Castle stand? Which US state contains Yosemite National Park? In which year was the death penalty abolished in the UK? Who composed the opera "The Barber Of Seville"? A film star & musician, born on Jan.8th. 1947, how is David Robert Jones better known? What is the only US state which borders one other state only? Which celebrity Chef started life running a disco, before buying a nightclub in Padstow In which game can you score one point for a 'behind'? Before becoming independent, the Cameroons were administered by which country? In which sport do you score three points for a goal scored? Which Premiership Team are nicknamed the Blues How high in feet is the crossbar on a football goal? Who wrote the Opera "The Magic Flute"? Who was given the name 'Fourth Man' when he was revealed as a spy in 1979? Botany Bay On the head Soup - served Cold Mr Magoo Ronald Reagan Yang The Red Arrows Sophomore The Tower of London Donna Karan New York Finland Jamie Oliver Pope Canada Trip into Space Undertaker The Discovery She was a woman George Best Reading 1988 20 Iggy Pop Water Hampton Court First World War River Dee in Scotland. California 1965 Mozart David Bowie Maine Rick Stein Australian Rules Football France Hurling Birmingham City 8 ft Rossini Anthony Blunt Which footballers autobiography is called “My side”? Before becoming a writer, what was the occupation of Dick Francis ? In which city are the Spanish Steps located? Which football team plays at the JJB stadium? Which American state has a Capital city called Carson City? By what name did the Empire Stadium become known? Turin lies on which river? How many sides does a rhombus have? What is the main vegetable ingredient in the Ukranian dish Borsht? What trophy is played for at the US Superbowl? In which decade were TV licences introduced in the UK? What type of food is Quark? What is the collective noun for a group of crows? The headquarters of Greenpeace is in which European city? What is the largest artery in the human body? Which city hosted the 1992 Summer Olympic games? What are Blue Mountain, Caturra, and Mocca types of? What is a village without a church called? Which British disc jockey's nickname was 'Fluff'? Alicante, Golden Boy and Piranto are types of what? What word represents the letter K in radio communications? What is Bill Clinton's middle name? Which river passes through all these countries Germany, Austria, Slovakia, Hungary, Moldova, Serbia, Romania, Bulgaria, Croatia, Ukraine? In which country was John McEnroe Born? 15. In anatomy what is the technical term for the kneecap? Who played the Ringo Kid in the original Stagecoach film? What number is a hurricaine on the Beaufort Scale? What was the nuclear power station Sellafield previously known as? During the siege of which African city did General Gordon die? What is a Maori ceremonial war-dance called? Which group had three consecutive UK Christmas number ones in 1996, 97 and 98? Whose autobiography is entitled 'Take It Like A Man? In which european city did Italy beat france 5 - 3 on penalties to win the 2006 FIFA World Cup? What was Capability Brown famous for designing? In which ocean is Ascension Island? What is the US state capital of Mississippi? John Adams was the american vice-president to which president? What is the Shaftesbury Memorial Fountain more popularly known as? What is the technical term for the collar bone? How did soul singer Otis Redding die in 1967? What is the title of the film about a Scottish village that awakens once every 100 years? In the TV comedy Dad's Army what is Captain Mainwaring's first name? David Beckham Jockey Rome Wigan Nevada Wembley Po Four Beetroot The Lombardi Trophy 1940's A Soft Cheese A murder Amsterdam The Aorta Barcelona Coffee Hamlet Alan Freeman Tomato Kilo Jefferson Danube West Germany, Wiesbaden Patella John Wayne Twelve Windscale Khartoum Haka Spice Girls Boy George Berlin Gardens Atlantic Jackson Washington Eros The clavicle Plane crash Brigadoon George If a creature is edentulous what has it not got? Rome is on which river? Which Trophy is given to the most outstanding player in collegiate football? With which country did the UK have the long-running 'Cod War' disputes over fishing rights? What is the minimum age for driving a car or van in the UK? How many individual pieces are there in a set of dominoes? Which war took place between 1618 - 1648? Richard Attenborough played Chris Pringle in the 1947 Christmas Film "Miracle on which street"? What was David Beckham's shirt number which he requested when he played for Real Madrid & LA Galaxy as a tribute to Michael Jordan? If Prince William became King, what number William would he be? In Profesional Cricket what is the name of the shortest form of the sport? What is the legal drinking age in the USA? How much would you expect to receive if you were given a Pony? The months January, March, May, July, August, October and December have what in common? How many players does an American Football team normally have on the field at one time? What number is not used on Formula 1 cars since 1976? What is the Normal human Body Temperature in Degrees Centigrade? Keifer Sutherland played Jack Baeur the main character in which American TV series? On which day in July is Bastille day celebrated? How many letters are in the German alphabet? Other than 78 and 45 which speed could be played on an old record player? A methuselah of wine holds the equivalent of how many bottles? For how many years would you celebrate a Coral Wedding Anniversary? How many teaspoons make a tablespoon? Neil Sedaka sang about Happy Birthday Sweet What in 1961? How many games will a team play in a full Premiership season? How many players are there in a netball team? How many national teams have participated the the FIFA World Cup Finals Tournament since 1998? There are :9 darts needed to score 501, but what is the minimum number needed to score 301? How many labours were performed by Hercules? How many inches are there in a Yard? What date in July is St Swithin's Day? How many players are there in a Baseball Team? How many sides has a decahedron? What is the British Board of Film Classification for a film above a Fifteen Certificate? How many balls are there on a snooker table at the start of a game? What is the number of the Paul Hardcastle number One hit in 1985? What is the number of a form to claim unemployment adopted by a British Band? An Eagle is how many shots under Par? How many hearts does an octopus have? Launched in 1960, what was the name of the first US communications satellite was callled Echo What? Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin and Jim Morrison all died at the same age. What was it? Teeth The Tiber Heisman Memorial Trophy Award Iceland Seventeen Twenty-Eight Thirty Years War Thirty-Fourth Twenty-Three Five Twenty Twenty-One Twenty-Five Thirty-One Days Eleven Thirteen Thirty-seven Twenty-Four Fourteen Twenty-Six thirty-Three Eight Thirty-Five Four Sixteen Thirty-Eight Seven Thirty-Two Six Twelve Thirty-Six Fifteenth Nine Ten Eighteen Twenty-Two Nineteen Forty Two Three One Twenty Seven How many steps are there in John Buchan? The 2008 (XXIX) Summer Olympics in Bejing were which number olympics? Gorgonzola, Stilton, and Roquefort are all types of what? What are the colour of the horses in the Spanish Riding School based in Vienna? Mars is more commonly known as the "What" Planet? The "What Sea" is the largest inland sea in Europe connected the Atlantic by the Mediterranean and Agean Sea? What is the largest living Mammal in the world? What colour woman did Chris de Burgh sing about? What river is the second biggest river in China after the Yangtze River? The Owl and the Pussycat sailed off in which coloured Boat? What is the name of the character played by Vivien Leigh in Gone With The Wind? What is the colour of the centre ring on the Olympic Flag? Only 3 horses with a colour in the name has won the Grand National Red Rum, Silver Birch and which other? What colour ribbon did Dawn tie to the Old Oak Tree? The notorious Pirate Edward Leach was more famously known as who? In a Formula One Race which coloured flag is shown to tell a slow driver to allow a driver behind to pass? Which Fruits did the Belles of St Clemnet's ring out in the nursery rhyme? In the song by Sheb Wooley in 1958 what was the colour of the One Eyed, One Horned People Eater? During the Tour De France what colour shirt is worn by the winner of a Sprint during a stage? What was the nickname of the character played by Morgan Freeman in the Shawshank Redemption? What colour would you associate with the traditional gemstone for September? What colour is the bullseye on a standard dartboard? In the board game monopoly, what colour is Bond Street? The Heavyweight Boxing World champion joe Louis was nicknamed the "What" Bomber? What colour are the stars on the Chinese flag? What was the name of Dick Turphin's Horse? Professor Plum, Miss Scarlett and Mrs White are characters in the gane of Cludeo. Which other character is named after a colour? Which Soul Singer is referred to as the "Godfather of Soul"? Which precious metal is measured in "Troy Ounces"? What is the main colour traditionally worn by an Indian bride? Traditionally what colour is the drink Absinthe? What colour of beret do the special forces of the American Army wear? What was the name of the movie starring Whoopi Gpldburg, Danny Glover and Oprah Winfrey? The Circle Line on the London Underground is represented by which colour? What is the colour of the Front Door at 10 Downing Street? Which TV Captain was indestructable? Which player scored the only goal of the 1980 Football League Cup final, when Wolves beat Nottingham Forest 10? What is the colourful Stage name of American singer Alecia Beth Moore who's hits include "So What" and "God is a DJ"? What colour is Saffron? Thirty-Nine Twenty-Nine BLUE CHEESE WHITE RED BLACK BLUE WHALE RED YELLOW PEA GREEN SCARLETT O'HARA BLACK RED ALLIGATOR YELLOW BLACKBEARD BLUE FLAG ORANGES AND LEMONS PURPLE GREEN RED BLUE RED GREEN BROWN YELLOW BLACK BESS REVEREND GREEN JAMES BROWN GOLD RED GREEN GREEN THE COLOR PURPLE YELLOW BLACK SCARLET ANDY GRAY PINK YELLOW In the film Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory What colour skin did the Oompa Loompas have? Which of the following colours does not appear on the flag of Algeria? Green, Red or Yellow? What was the Surname of Lady Jane known as "The Nine Days Queen" who reigned after Edward VI? In 1963, which band became the first to reach number one with their first three singles? Which is the largest Canary Island? Which child like named US gangster's original name was Lester Gillis? A failed assassination attempt against King James I of England and VI of Scotland by a group of provincial English Catholics led by Robert Catesby in 1605 was more famously known as what? How many years are in a Millenium? What was Tom Jones' first UK number one single? What is a baby seal called? Ramsey McDonald became British Prime Minister in 1924 the first from which political party? What is the name of the character played by Angela Lansbury in 'Murder, She Wrote'? In the song `The Twelve Days Of Christmas`, how what did my true love give to me on the 12th day? Louis Bleriot was the first person to cross the English Channel in What? Which detective had a housekeeper named Mrs Hudson? Which US organisation's headquarters is situated in Langley, Virginia? Who was the original presenter of TV's University Challenge? What type of animal is a Border Leicester? What word represents the letter J in the UK Police radio communications? In the human body what is the Trachea? Who invented the revolver (handgun)? If Arnold Schwarzenegger signs up for another "Terminator" movie, How Many would be in the Series? David Trimble became the First Minister of which Country in 1998? In which country are the Sutherland Falls? What does the 'H' in H bomb represent? If I take two apples out of a basket of six. How many Apples do I have? Which is the odd one out, Queen, King, Bishop, Cardinal? What is the Worlds Smallest Bird? The Hudson River flows through which American City? Patrick Macnee and Diana Rigg played the original John Steed & Emma Peel in which TV series? Who was known as 'Old blues Eyes'? George Washington, Theodore Roosevelt, Thomas Jefferson and which other American President are Featured on Mount Rushmore? How many Tentacles does a Squid Have? In roman Mythology Aphrodite is the Goddess of What? in which year did the Berlin Wall come down? (1 point Year either side - 2 points for exact Year) What are the five human senses? Who was British Prime Minister from 1979 to 1990? Which planet did Superman come from? In the nursery Rhyme What jumped over the moon? What is the largest Man made structure on earth? In which country was ex-England cricket captain Tony Greig born? ORANGE GREEN GREY Gerry and the Pacemakers Tenerife Baby Face Nelson Gunpowder Plot 1000 It's Not Unusual Pup Labour Jessica Fletcher 12 Drummers Drumming Plane Sherlock Holmes The CIA Bamber Gascoigne Sheep Juliet Windpipe Samuel Colt 4 - (Terminator 1,2 & Terminator 3 Rise of the m Northern Ireland New Zealand Hydrogen 2 Cardinal the rest are Chess Pieces Bee Hummingbird New York The Avengers Frank Sinatra Abraham Lincoln Ten Love 1989 sight, taste, hearing, smell,touch Margaret Thatcher Krypton The Cow The Great Wall of China South Africa Which animal lives in a 'Lodge'? Christopher Wren designed which London Cathedral? Which British Driver won the Formula One World Championship in 1992? Luxembourg has borders with three other countries. Name Them? Melanie, Victoria, Geri, emma and Melanie were the original members of which Group? What is a Sampan? Who is Third in succesion for the British Throne? What is a Baby Swan Called? Arachnophobia is the fear of What? What was the name of the first cloned Sheep? Which out of the world event took place on 20th July 1969? which Animal is the symbol of the World Wildlife fund? What was the Maiden Name of Princess Diana? What is the Nationality of Bjorn Borg? Who had a Hit with 'Puppy Love' in 1972? Who played Clarice Starling in 'Silence of the Lambs'? What was the name of the Lone Rangers Horse? What is the largest park in London? What is the Maximum score you can achieve in Ten Pin Bowling? the River Taff flows through which Capital City? What is the name of the French Underground System? what was the name of Ray Allen's Dummy In electronics a Light Emitting Diode is more commonly known as what? Roald Amundsen was the first person to reach the South Pole in which decade of the last century? On which part of the body would you wear a deer-stalker? What is the title of the lowest order of the British nobility? Which Beatle led the way across the zebra crossing on the Abbey Road album cover? Which character in Eastenders owned a dog called Willy? Asa Chandler founded which world famous drinks company? Who was the first Briton to win the US Open tennis title? Who murdered George Cornell in the Blind Beggar pub in london in March 1966? Angela Merkel was first female chancellorof which European country? What is the first sign of the Zodiac? What is the green pigment found in most plants that is responsible for absorbing light energy? Which two European countries are connected by the Simplon Pass? What was Manfred von Richtofen's nickname? Which is the largest of the Channel Islands? The Cenotaph is situated in which London street? Which is the largest Castle in England situated in Berkshire? Which North African country has the international car registration ET? On a standard UK monopoly board what are the names of the four stations? The Sorbonne in Paris is what type of establishment? Which British prime minister had a bag named after him? Beaver St Paul's Nigel Mansell Belguim, France and Germany (1 Point for each) Spice Girls Boat Prince Harry Cygnet Spiders Dolly Man walked on the Moon The Giant Panda Spencer Swedish Donny Osmond Jodie Foster Silver Hyde Park 300 - 12 Strikes Cardiff Metro Lord Charles LED 1910's (1911) The head Baron/Baroness John Lennon Ethel (Skinner) Coca Cola Fred Perry Ronnie Kray Germany Aries Chlorophyll Switzerland and Italy The Red Baron Jersey Whitehall Windsor Castle Egypt Kings Cross,Marylebone,Fenchurch Street ,Liverp University Gladstone Which controversial english pop star of the 80's has the autobiography entitled 'Take It Like A Man? The name Wendy was first made up in which famous book? Which pop singer did Debbie Rowe marry? Who had a 70s No 1 with If You Leave Me Now? What did the Warren Commission investigate in the US in the 1960's? Who is the only character to appear in the first ever Coronation Street who is still in the show as at 2009? 212 degrees is the Fahrenheit boiling point of what? Where in the human body would you find the smallest bone? The stirrup (in the ear) Catherine Bach played the original Daisy Duke in which TV' series? Which member of the clergy would carry a hooked staff called a Crozier? Poets Corner is situated in which London landmark? Only one country has hosted the Olympic Games on Four occasions which country? Iota, Epsilon and Beta are letters from which Alphabet? Who was Governer of Arkansas when he became President in 1993? Which British poet wrote `The Charge Of The Light Brigade` and `Maud`? Tennyson, Shelley or Byron? The Irish Derby is held at which racecourse? Which of the Beatles was the first to be widowed? Which nation won the European Football Championship in 1992 after first failing to qualify for the finals tournament? Bandleader Edward Ellington was known by what nickname? Which is the longest mountain range in the world? Dauphin were the names of the eldest sons who became the Kings of which european country? P&O, the shipping line, stands for what? To which Scottish island did Bonnie Price Charlie escape, dressed as a maid, in 1746? In the Book what was Baron Frankenstein`s first name? Willie John McBride is a name associated with which sport? Who sang the million record selling song "I Walk The Line"? Which Body Builder born in 1892 promised that, "You too can have a body like mine?" Andrew Carnegie developed the iron and steel industry in which American city? Which country has more tractors per head, Canada, Iceland or Japan? What nationality was Christopher Colombus? Vladivostock and Moscow are the two station at each end of which railway line? What is the minimum number of musicians a band must have to be considered a "big band"? The Aphartied political system was gradually dismantled in which country, starting in 1989? Who said after successfully testing the nuclear bomb. "Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds"? Which female Argentinean was buried in a Milan cemetery under the pseudonym Maria Maggi? What's the ballet term for a 360-degree turn on one foot? Which annually honored irishman is believed by many to be buried in Downpatrick under a tombstone marked with the letter "F"? What can Germans publicly deny the existence of can earn them five years in prison? What sort of animal was World Cup Willie, the mascot for the 1966 World Cup? The island of Rhodes belongs to which Mediterranean country? Boy George Peter Pan Michael Jackson Chicago The Assassination of John F Kennedy Ken Barlow Water (100 degrees centigrade) In the Ear (The stirrup) Dukes of Hazard A Bishop Westminster Abbey America - 1904 - St Louis, Los Angeles -1932, Los Angeles - 1984, Atlanta - 1996 Greek Bill Clinton Tennyson The Curragh (County Kildare) Paul McCartney. Denmark (in 1992, Denmark took the place of Y Duke The Andes (7,240km) France Peninsular and Oriental Skye Victor Rugby Union Johnny Cash Charles Atlas Pittsburgh Iceland Italian Trans Siberian Railway 10 South Africa J. Robert Oppenheimer Eva Peron (Evita - Little Eva) Pirouette St Patrick The Holocaust A Lion Greece Which island in San Francisco Bay was the site of an almost escape-proof prison? In TV series "The Adventures of Champion" what type of animal was Champion? "Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head" was an Oscar winner from which movie with Robert Redford & Paul Newman? Which female tennis player was stabbed at the German Tennis Open in Munich 1993? Which company invented Blue Jeans in 1853 in San Francisco? Yeomen Warders at the Tower of London are commonly known by what other name? In the 1971 movie Charlie And The Chocolate Factory, Willy Wonka is played by Gene Wilder. Who plays him in the 2005 film? Which US Serial Killer who killed at least 33 boys in Chicago between 1972 - 1978 last words at his execution in 1994 were "Kiss My Arse"? In which country was actor Mel Gibson born? Which famous guitarist's original name was Brian Rankin? Which football club did Alan Sugar own? What is the name of the transparent layer forming the front of the eye, which transmits and focuses light into the eye? What condiment brand features the Palace of Westminster on its label? What was Gillian Duffy involvement in the run up to the last general election covered by TV? How many degrees is each angle in an equilateral triangle? Which footballer scored all of England's five goals in their 1975 5-0 defeat of Cyprus? What is the common name for Nitrous Oxide? A heptahedron is a solid figure with how many plane sides? Who was the next president of the USA after Gerald Ford? Which Italian fashion designer was shot and killed outside his Miami home in 1997? The Yas Marina Grand Prix circuit is in which Arab country? Which Scandinavian country was the first european country to abolish slavery in 1792? What T was the name of George’s dog in the Enid Blyton “Famous Five” stories? Which island was awarded the George Cross in 1942? What colour does acid turn Litmus paper? What colour is LaLa of Teletubbies? Who played the part of the toymaker in the film Chitty Chitty Bang Bang? Whose autobiography was entitled 'Losing my Virginity'? What were the name's of Donald Duck's nephews? In which year did Margaret Thatcher resign as leader of the Conservatives? How is Frances Gumm the actress better known? Which volcano caused the destruction of Pompeii? Before Tony Blair, who was the last leader of the Labour Party to win a general election? Which Carthaginian general led his army across the Alps with a contingent of elephants? What was the name of the Duke of Wellingtons horse at the Battle of Waterloo named after a danish city? In a standard game of Monopoly, what colour are the two cheapest properties? Gorgonzola cheese comes from which country? At what age does a Jewish boy celebrate his Bar Mitzvah? Which comedian has the nickname `the big yin`? Alcatraz Horse Butch Cassidy & The Sundance Kid Monica Seles Levi Strauss Beefeaters Johnny Depp John Wayne Gacy USA Hank Marvin Tottenham Hotspur Cornea HP Sauce Rochdale pensioner whom Gordon Brown was he 60 Malcolm MacDonald Laughing Gas Seven Jimmy Carter Gianni Versace Abu Dhabi Denmark Timmy Malta Red Yellow Benny Hill Richard Branson Huey, Duey & Lewy 1990 Judy Garland Vesuvius Harold Wilson Hannibal Copenhagen Brown Italy 13 Billy Connolly Which of these wedding anniversaries would you celebrate first? Lace, Tin or Ivory? How is Eldrick Wood`s better known? On which side of the road would you drive in Australia? On which corner of a motorway sign do junction exit numbers appear? Commonly found at circuses, what would a funambulist be better known as? The sale of which drink accounts for 10% of the income of the government in Russia? What is the world`s largest man-made structure? What is the normal colour of a black box used in aeroplanes? What colour are the seats in the House of Lords? Red, Blue or Green? A dagger, lead piping, a revolver, rope and a candlestick, which murder weapon is missing from the game of Cluedo? What license cost 37 pence when it was abolished in 1988? What company is said to be responsible for Santa Claus being dressed in the colours red & white? Who was the Full England manager before Sven Goran Ericsson took the job ? What is the name given to a poker hand where all cards are of the same suit, but not in running order? In Britain, in which month does the longest day occur? "Old Glory" is the one of the names of which country's flag? Who wears `The Fisherman`s Ring`? What type of fruit is a cantaloup? If you asked for `Trojans` in America, what would you get? Cigarettes, Stamps or Condoms? What is the common term for the type of people who prefer to be called `Inuit` or `Yupik`? Which country traditionally provides Britain with a Christmas tree for Trafalgar Square in London? What is the name of the aeroplane that the American President rides in? What does the term `brut` mean when applied to wine? By what name is the International Criminal Police Organisation better known? What is sold by a costermonger? Igor Sikorsky designed and flew the first practical version of what flying machine? If you were born on July 4th, what star sign would you be? From which country does the dish Enchilada come? What does the letter `N` stand for in `NATO`? Which comedy series is set on Craggy Island? Whose face is referred to in `The face that launched a thousand ships`? Where is the one place that the American flag flies 24 hours a day, but is never raised or lowered and is never saluted? What surname is common to the Archbishop of Canterbury from 1961 to 1974 and an ex-England football manager? Who did Margaret Thatcher replace as leader of the Conservative party? Out of all the animals which make up the Chinese horoscope, which comes first alphabetically? In New Orleans, the Mardi Gras festival occurs each year in which month? In which city in England is the National Railway Museum? In `The Twelve Days Of Christmas`, if you add up the number of swans-a-swimming and geese-a-laying, what do you get? 13, 14 or 15? Which number is referred to as `Doctor`s Orders` in Bingo? Tin (10) (lace 13, ivory 14) Tiger Woods Left Bottom left Tight-rope walker Vodka The Great Wall of China Orange Red Spanner Dog Licence Coca-Cola Kevin Keegan A flush June USA The Pope A melon Condoms Eskimos Norway Air Force One Very dry Interpol Fruit The helicopter Cancer Mexico North Atlantic Treaty Organization `Father Ted` Helen Of Troy The Moon Ramsey Edward Heath Boar February York 13 (7 Swans, 6 Geese) No 9 was a laxative pill given out by army docto From which country does the drink Pernod originate? In which London park is London Zoo situated? In which year did the Woolworths Group chain of shops cease trading and go into liquidation? Which of the following would a phillumenist collect? Bottle tops, Matchbox labels or Dolls? From what country does the chihuahua dog originate? What famous childrens train character would you find on the Island of Sodor? On which famous award do the two words `For Valour` appear? In which hand does the Statue Of Liberty hold a torch? Left or Right? Which is the only country to have played in every World Cup since it started in 1930? By what name is the Central Criminal Court in London better known? In the NATO phonetic alphabet, what word is used for `N`? What is the one place in all of Great Britain that the Queen cannot visit? `Gregory Peck` is cockney rhyming slang for what? Which Beatle led the way across the zebra crossing on the Abbey Road album cover? How is the Cockney double act of David Peacock and Charles Hodges better known? `Flowers in the Rain` by the Move was the first recorf to be played on which radio station? Which singer won the Eurovision Song Contest for Ireland in 1980 and 1987? How many faults does a competitor get if they knock a fence down in showjumping? In which decade did the Great Train Robbery take place? In Peter Pan, what is the name of Captain Hook`s ship? Which famous fictional detective first came tp prominence in the book "Study in Scarlett"? Where was the 1986 World Cup held? What football club did Gordon Banks play for when he won his 1966 World Cup medal? Fill in the missing name in this sequence of England managers: Ramsey, Mercer, Revie, ? , Robson Where are the headquarters of FIFA (Federation Internationale de Football Association)? Who was England's goalkeeper in the losing game against Germany in the 1970 World Cup? Who scored England's dying seconds winner against Belgium in the 1990 World Cup? Who is the Lev Yashin award given to at the end of World Cup finals? Which manager was in charge of the Scotland team in the 1986 World Cup Finals? Which German is currently the overall top scorer in the history of World Cup Finals with 14 goals? At the age of 42, which Cameroon player became the oldest ever to play in the World Cup Finals? Which British team were knocked out of the 1974 World Cup Finals on goal difference, but ended up the only unbeaten side in the competition? How many times has the host nation won the football World Cup? Grzegorz Lato won the Golden boot at the 1974 football World Cup Which country did he play for? Which 2 teams contested the only World Cup final to end 0-0 before penalties? Who were the last team to be runners-up in 2 consecutive World Cups? Which is the only non European country to host the World Cup more than once? What was the name of the mascot for the 1966 World Cup finals held in England? Who was David Beckham sent off for kicking in the 1998 World Cup game against Argentina? What was the scoreline when Brazil beat Italy in the 1970 World Cup final? Who was the first black footballer to win a full England cap? Which of the following teams was not in England`s group in the 2002 World Cup? Poland, Sweden or Nigeria? France Regent`s Park 2009 Matchbox labels Mexico Thomas the tank engine The Victoria Cross Right. Brazil The Old Bailey November The House Of Commons Cheque John Lennon Chas `n` Dave Radio One Johnny Logan Four 1960's - 1963 year either side The Jolly Roger Sherlock Holmes Mexico Leicester City Ron Greenwood (1977-82) Zurich, Swizerland Peter Bonetti David Platt goalkeeper voted the best in the tournament Alex Ferguson Gerd Muller Roger Milla Scotland 6 (Uruguay 1930, Italy 1934, England 1966, We Poland Brazil and Italy (1994 in USA) West Germany (in 1982 and 1986) Mexico (in 1970 and 1986) World Cup Willie Diego Simeone Four - One Viv Anderson, 1978 Poland Which Italian won the golden boot in the 1982 World Cup scoring 6 goals? Which football team lost both the 1974 and 1978 World Cup finals? Why was Scottish footballer Willie Johnstone sent home from the 1978 World Cup? What was the title of the England Football teams` 1970 World Cup song? Which two countries have only won the football World Cup once? Which Portugese footballer won the golden boot in the 1966 World Cup scoring 9 goals? Who was the only England player sent of during the 1986 World Cup Finals? In which country did the first football World Cup take place? Which two England footballers missed penalties in the shoot-out against Germany in the 1990 World Cup semifinal? Who was the first person to Captain and Manage a World Cup winning Football team? When Brazil won the 1994 soccer World Cup, to which famous Brazillian sportsman who died in this year persuing his own sport did they dedicate the win to? How many goals did Gary Lineker score for England in the 1986 World Cup finals? Geoff Hurst scored 3 goals in the 1966 World Cup final who scored the other goal for England? What English-speaking Carribean nation qualified for the soccer world cup finals in France in 1998? Which is the only country to have played in every World Cup since it started in 1930? What football club did Nobby Stiles play for when he won his 1966 World Cup medal? Which Countries World Cup Qualifiers have the nickname Bafana Bafana? Which referee gave a penalty to holland in the opening minutes of the 1974 world cup final? Which French footballer scored twice in the 1998 World Cup final? What is the traditional timing device used by musicians which clicks at a selected rate? During which war was the Battle of Anzio? The port of Drammen is in which scandanavian country? Which Three times Formula One Champion 1975/77/84 and airline founder, nicknamed the Rat and Clockwork Mouse, featured on an Austrian postage stamp in 2005? Spencer Perceval (1762-1812) is the only British Prime Minister to have been what: a professor; deaf; assassinated; or ginger? Jazz musician Stephane Grappelli was famous for playing which instrument? The Wombles made their debut television appearance on which children's Story Telling TV programme? What gas do humans breathe out? What ball is worth three points in snooker? Bibliomania is the compulsive collecting or hoarding of what? What is the name of Mick Hucknell's band? Caroline Lucas became the first parliamentary MP of which party, when she won the Brighton Pavilion seat in the UK May 2010 general election? In Japan the word Mikado originally referred to what: the emperor; a theatre; an early form of electoral proportional representation; or sushi rice? A clowder is a collective term for which creatures: dogs; cats; horses; or sheep? Which British football team is nicknamed the Blades? Who called a Rochdale pensioner whom Gordon Brown was heard to call 'a sort of bigoted woman' after meeting Paolo Rossi Holland For taking drugs `Back Home` England and France Eusebio Ray Wilkins Uruguay Chris Waddle and Stuart Pearce Franz Beckenbauer Ayrton Senna 6 Martin Peters Jamaica Brazil Manchester United South Africa Jack Taylor Zinedine Zidane Metronome Second World War Norway Niki Lauda Assassinated Violin Jackanory (1973) Carbon dioxide (CO2) Green Books Simply Red The Green Party The emperor Cats Sheffield United Gordon Brown her on a pre-election walkabout? What Maryland presidential retreat, previously called Shangri-la, was renamed by Dwight D Eisenhower after his grandson? On 1st April 1980 a 25-day riot and siege began at what UK prison? Prince Andrew served for twenty-two years with which organization? Which fictional Detective solves the crime in `Death on the Nile`? In which country does the story `The Pied Piper Of Hamelin` take place? According to Bram Stoker`s original novel, by which seaside town did Count Dracula enter England? In which country is the wine-growing Barossa Valley? Which country lies to the north of Austria and to the south of Poland? Which french landmark is 984 ft high? Okinawa is a volcano in which country? What is the largest country in South America? Which show about Danny and Sandy was made into a film with John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John? By what name is the motorway Gravelly Hill Interchange better known? Who played the Ringo Kid in the original Stagecoach film? What does a hippophobic fear? In which Decade was TV's Channel 4 launched? Which Australian won the men's singles at Wimbledon in 1987? In which sport would a niblick be used? In which art gallery is the Mona Lisa kept? What skin and eye colouring is associated with jaundice? What nationality was Pablo Picasso? Which literary character travelled around the world in 80 days with Pass Partout? In George Orwell`s `Animal Farm` what type of animal was `Napoleon`? When spoken by a police officer, what do the letters RTA stand for? Nick Leeson lost £208 million by the end of 1994 bringing which bank into bankruptcy Brothers Richard and Maurice opened their first fast food restaurant in 1940 in San Bernardino, California. What was the name of the restaurant? In which town was William Shakespeare born? Gala, Jonagold and Pink Lady are varieties of which fruit? What is sake made from? What type of material is produced in a ginnery? What's the oldest university in the USA? What is a blini? If you landed on the Short Fast Line, B&O Railroad, Seashore Lines or Reading Railroad What US version of a board game would you be playing? Who did Chris Chataway set pace for to create a World Record on 6 May 1954? What is the fictional brewery associated with the Rovers Return pub in TV's Coronation Street serial? Golda Meir was the famous female prime minister of which country? How many valves does a trumpet have? What is the name of the RAF's aerobatics team? In which ocean are the Canary Islands? Camp David Strangeways Royal Navy Hercule Poirot Germany Whitby Australia A: Czech Republic Eiffel Tower Japan Brazil Grease. Spaghetti Junction John Wayne Horses 1980's (1982) Pat Cash Golf The Louvre Yellow Spanish Phileas Fog A pig Road Traffic Accident Barings Mcdonalds Stratford-upon-Avon Apple Rice Cotton Harvard A Pancake Monopoly Roger Bannister Newton and Ridley Israel (1969-74) Three The Red Arrows Atlantic What type of weapon is a Falchion? The Trip To Jerusalem in Nottingham claims to be the oldest what in Britain? Which American horse race is run at Churchill Downs? Known as The Clones Cyclone which irishman won the World Featherweight Champion in 1985? What is a 'half-hunter'? Tanner was the slang term for which pre-decimal British coin? Which ice-skating sporting duo was coached by Betty Calloway? Which TV Soap began in 1985? Which French singer was known as Little Sparrow? In which country is Interpol based? Who was the first leader of Polish trade union Solidarity? In the UK military what does SAS stand for? On which part of the body would you wear a sabot? What is the name of the prison in the British TV comedy series Porridge? What is the largest city in Australia? What was the first name of the fictional New York detective Kojak? Which English Kate became the face of L'Oreal in 1998? Croatia and Slovenia used to be part of which country? Which sport in the Olympics includes pikes, tucks and twists? Which controversial American sportsman had the first names Orenthal James? What is the main color on the Chinese flag? Rupert Murdoch comes from which country? Abraham Saperstein started which world famous basketball team in January 1927? The 90s Good Friday Agreement sought peace in which country? Which singer was known as the 'Forces' Sweetheart'? Which establishment opened in Baker Street, London 1835. Which depicts life size replicas of famous people throughout history? What is the speed limit on a German motorway? James Baulmgarner changed his name slightly to become which actor? Which English cathedral was destroyed by fire in 1666? In which decade were luncheon vouchers introduced in the UK? Which caped crusader operated in Gotham city? What is the name of the horse in the only book written by Anna Sewell? Marty McFly came back to where? What colour is the bullseye on a standard dartboard? Which famous British group performed the first ever song on Top Of The Pops in 1964? Which Competition palyed every four years first took palce in Uruguay in 1930? How Long Does it take for light from the moon to reach the Earth 1.26 secs, 1.26 mins or 1.26 hours? What is the name of Tintin's wire haired terrier? If I take 2 apples out of a basket containing 6 apples how many apples do I have ? Which Bear grows larger Brown Grizzly or Polar ? For How long did Queen Victoria Reign for ? (2 years either side) Which country features a maple leaf on its flag ? Sword Pub The Kentucky Derby Barry McGuigan A type of pocket watch Sixpence Torvill and Dean Eastenders Edith Piaf France Lech Walesa Special Air Service Foot (it's a wooden shoe) Slade Sydney Theo Moss Yugoslavia Diving O J Simpson Red Australia Harlem Globetrotters N. Ireland Vera Lynn Madame Tussaud's There is no limit James Garner St Pauls 1950's (1955) Batman Black Beauty Future Red Rolling Stones World Cup Finals 1.26 secs Snowy Two Polar Bear (Twice as big) 64 Canada "Anyone Can Fall In Love" was a chart hit set to the theme tune of which British Soap Opera TV show? On Mount Rushmore which US president is missing George Washington, Thomas Jefferson and Theodore Roosevelt? Aphrodite was the Goddess of what in Roman Mythology? How many rounds are there in an Olympic boxing match? Who did Elton John originally duet with on the No1 hit "Don't Go Breaking My Heart"? Martina Navratilova has been on the winning side in the Federation Cup for which two countries? Which actor is the dad of Jamie Lee Curtis? In which decade was Madonna born? In American football, where do the Chargers come from? What was the Russian President Yeltsin's first name? Who is the only character to appear in the first ever Coronation Street who is still in the show as at 2009? Churchill, Sherman and Panzer were all developed as types of what? If you were watching Hawkeye Pierce, Radar, Margaret Houlihan,Trapper and Colonel Henry Blake which american TV series would you be enjoying? The disastrous poison gas leak at Bhopal took place in which country? Dick Francis novels revolve around which sport? What does the C stand for in LCD? American Playwright Arthur Miller was married to which famous Hollywood blond actress? On a computer keyboard what letter is between Q and E? Lord Mountbatten was murdered off the coast of which country? In a speak to the Conservative Party Conference what was the finishing line to this address by Margaret Thatcher "To those waiting with bated breath for that favourite media catchphrase, the 'U-turn', I have only one thing to say: "You turn if you want to." ? What was Elvis Presley's daughter called? Who collaborated with Andrew Lloyd Webber on the musicals Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, Jesus Christ Superstar, Evita and many others? Which team were beaten 7-0 by portugal in the recent world cup finals? What numeric term describes perfect eyesight and a form of cricket? In Cluedo, How many rooms are there in which the murder can take place? According the the Bible how many of each type of animal did Moses take on the Ark? Which British Prime Minister had the maiden name Roberts ? What is the purpose of the black stripe on a school crossing warden`s `lollipop`? Barwick Green is the name of the title music to which Long Running Radio show? The Savoy Grill, the Boxwood Café at the Berkeley Hotel and Maze are all restaurants owned by which famous chef? Eli Wallach played which of the three from the film The Good, The Bad and the Ugly? In which city would you find Canada`s largest Stock Exchange? What was the name of the car which was known as Luxury Export United States after it`s intended market - the U.S.A ? According to the lyrics of the song by the Weather Girls, it will start raining men at just about what time? According to the old proverb all roads lead to which capital city? Eastenders Abraham Lincoln Love 4 Kiki Dee Czechoslovakia & USA Tony Curtis 1950's (1958) San Diego Boris Ken Barlow Tank M.A.S.H India Horse Racing Liquid CRYSTAL Display Marilyn Monroe QWERTY IRELAND The lady's not for turning." Lisa Marie Tim Rice North Korea (Korea DPR) 20/20 9. Kitchen, Billiard Room, Ballroom, Conservator None, Noah took the animals. Margaret Thatcher To write in chalk the registration number of traff The Archers Gordon Ramsay The Ugly Toronto Lexus Half past ten Rome Which Hollywood Actress has Three Children called Maddox, Zahara and Shiloh ? February is the shortest month in the year, but which is the longest? Where would you find an Aglet ? The French character Bibendum has more than one spare tyre, but by what name do we know him better as? If you were a `chalkie` in Australia, what would your profession be? In which English county is the Queen`s private residence, Sandringham House? What colour was Coca-Cola originally? In which religion is Vishnu worshipped as the God of creation? In May 2006, Belfast Airport officially changed its name in honour of which famous Irishman? In `Coronation Street`, what was Stan Ogden`s occupation? What starts with `T`, ends with `T` and has `T` in it? How much liquid does a flagon hold? Which European country is the largest consumer of beer per head? Which famous building has the address 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue? Which chocolate bar was launched in 1978 by a long distance lorry driver called Martin Fisk? By what name are Dominican Monks also known as? Whitefriars, Blackfriars or Greyfriars? In money slang, how much is a `Pavarotti`? Which famous fictional character lives at 4 Privet Drive, Little Whinging? What is the top colour on a rainbow? In which country was the organisation Greenpeace founded? Lord David Sutch was the founder of which UK political party? Which sign of the zodiac is represented by the Ram? In the order of the British Empire, what does the letter `C` stand for in CBE? What are the three primary colours of light? What is comic book hero Played for and managed Melchester Rovers? What was Sarah, the Duchess of York`s maiden name? In which country did the dish of goulash originate? What is the national dance of Brazil? To the nearest million, what did Census 2001 reveal was the population of the UK (5 Million each way)? What is the main language spoken in Chile? Helmut Kohl was the chancellor of which country during the 80s and 90s? The sale of what was prohibited in America during prohibition? Who beat Trevor Berbick (WBC) then James Smith (WBA) then Tony Tucker (IBF) to become undisputed World Boxing Champion in 1990? In the game of draughts, how many men does a player start with? What type of pastry is used in profiteroles? B&Q stores nationwide broke British law in 1989 by doing what? Which city is 402 miles from Cardiff, 156 miles from Newcastle and 149 miles from Aberdeen? Exmoor, Welsh Mountain and Shetland are varieties of what type of animal? What is the colour of the dragon on the Welsh flag? From which country does the game of mah-jong originate? Which member of the royal family married Timothy Lawrence in 1992? Between which two cities did the train `the Flying Scotsman` run? Angelina Jolie October, because the clocks go back so it lasts 3 shoe lace it is the hard tag at the end The Michelin Man Teaching Norfolk Green Hinduism George Best Window Cleaner A Teapot Two pints Germany The White House Yorkie Blackfriars £10 (a tenor) Harry Potter Red Canada Official Monster Raving Loony Party Aries Commander Red, Blue and Green. Roy Race (Roy of the Rovers) Ferguson Hungary The samba 59 million Spanish Germany. Alcohol. Mike Tyson 12 Choux Opening on a Sunday Glasgow Pony Red China Princess Anne London and Edinburgh How many numbered compartments are there on a roulette wheel? Dr. Banner is the alter-ego of which comic book hero? In which German city does the Oktoberfest beer festival take place? Which comedian has the real name of Royston Vasey? What is France`s largest vehicle manufacturer? Which American building became the tallest building in the world when it opened in 1931? A quadricentennial event would take place once every how often? What cocktail consists of Tia Maria, Vodka and Coke? How old do you have to be to legally buy a lottery ticket in the UK? What was the first name of O.J. Simpsons` wife who was killed in 1994? Lending her name to a famous sports manufacturer, who was the Greek Goddess of Victory? Robert Zimmerman is the real name of which famous person? Which company makes the chocolate biscuit Kit Kat? How many zeros are in a one trillion when written out in numerical form? What are the three colours which make up the Dutch flag? Which religious organistation`s badge bears the logo `Blood and Fire`? In the British Army, which of these ranks is the highest? Major, Captain or Colonel? Who is Liverpool Airport named after? How many points does a `Star of David` have? With what game would you associate Bobby Fischer? What are Oxford Bags? Trousers, Socks or Shoes? What is the average of the numbers 1, 2, 4 and 5? The Bolero is the national dance of Which European country? What is the name given to someone who makes arrows? Where in the body is the patella? From which animal does Cashmere wool come from? How many eyes does a cyclops have? What is Frigophobia the fear of? In which Ocean are the group of islands called the Seychelles? Which Russian leader had a pronounced birth mark on his forehead? Which Royal couple were divorced in february 1996? What was the name of the oil platform which exploded in the north sea oil field in July 1988? Which spinach-eating sailor has Robin Williams played on the film? The cephalothorax and the opisthosoma are body sections of what: arachnids (spiders, etc); humans; birds; or fire-engines? Which famous book was Credited with popularising the girl's name Wendy? In which European country is the Caledonian Canal? Budapest lies on which river? What is the name of Bill Sikes` dog in Charles Dickens` `Oliver Twist` and a TV game Show? Which East Sussex Seaside Town was the name of a Grahame Greene novel? Renee Zellweger played which part in the film based on the characters diary? Who is missing, Porthos, Athos and D'Artagnan? What was the landscape painters Constable`s first name? 37 (0 to 36) The Incredible Hulk Munich Roy Chubby Brown Renault Empire State Building 400 years Black Russian 16 Nicole Nike Bob Dylan Rowntrees 12 Red, White and Blue The Salvation Army Colonel John Lennon 6 Chess Trousers 3 Spain Fletcher The knee Goat 1 The cold The Indian Ocean Gorbachev. Diana Princess of Wales and Prince Charles Piper Alpha Popeye. Arachnids Peter Pan Scotland Danube Bullseye Brighton Rock Bridget Jone's Aramis John What was author Dick Francis` profession before he took up writing? In which American state is Hollywood? Which toll bridge joins the counties of East Riding of Yorkshire and North Lincolnshire? In which Scottish city would you find the Royal Mile and Holyrood Palace? In which country was Charlie Chaplin born? What country is only bordered by Spain? Solidarity was the mass movement of the people in which country? What does H stand for in the video system VHS as launched by JVC in 1976 ? The William Tell Overture provided the title music to which 1950's - 60's Cowboy Cult TV western ? Which American singer's first solo No 1 in the UK was "One Day In your Life" ? Where is the Valley of the Kings, the scene of a terrorist attack in 1997 ? In Which year did we convert to decimilastion ? The river Tiber flows through which European City ? What TV series featured Emma Peel ? Who set to sea in a beautiful pea green boat ? Who was the Prime Minister in the Faulklands War ? What is the common name for sodium chloride ? Who in a famous speech Said "I have a dream"? Which is the longest river in Britain? What document was Signed by King John in 1215? Gangsters Mr Barrow and Miss Parker were better known by their first names What were they? What was the actor name of Marrion Morrison? In Which part of the body is the Thyroid Gland ? Andorra, Belguim, germany, Italy, Luxembourg, Monaco, Spain and Switzerland all have a border with which country ? In which 1993 film does a boy called Jonah write to a woman called Annie, asking her to meet his father at the Empire State building on St. Valentine's Day? If you were eating escargots in a French restaurant what would you be eating? The Worlds largest Mobile Phone maker, Nokia, is based In which country? How many babies did Janet Walton give birth to in November, 1983? Which Beatle led the way across the zebra crossing on the Abbey Road album cover? In the Book what was Baron Frankenstein's first name? Which island was awarded the George Cross in 1942? Who bought Chelsea football club for £1 in 1982? How many players make up an Australian rules football team? What was the name and call-sign of the Apollo Eleven lunar module which landed on the moon in 1969? In Spain is a Senorita a married or single woman? According to the proverb, when should you not count your chickens? What colour does acid turn Litmus paper? What's the largest Scandinavian country? What was the name of the Benedictine monk who legend has it invented Champagne? In which Country is the concentration camp Auschwitz ? Who was Kate Winslett 's male co-star in Titanic? Jockey Hollywood The Humber Bridge Edinburgh London, England Portugal Poland. Video Home System The Lone Ranger. Michael Jackson Egypt. 1971 Rome The Avengers The Owl & The Pussycat Maggie Thatcher Salt Martin Luther King Jnr River Severn Magna Carta Bonnie and Clyde John Wayne The Neck France "Sleepless In Seattle" Snails Finland 6 John Lennon Victor Malta Ken Bates 18 Eagle Single Before they've hatched Red Sweden Dom Perignon Poland Leonardo di Caprio What is calcium carbonate normally known as? Who holds the record as being Britain's youngest ever Formula 1 Driver? How many holes are there in a ten pin bowling ball? Which childrens fictional character lives in the land of Honalee ? What nationality was Salvadore Dali? In Basketball it’s called a Tip Off, in Football a Kick off what is it called in Ice Hockey? Which country voted in a referendum to keep the Queen as their sovereign in 1999? In the movies Daniel Radcliffe plays which character? Two main London railway stations have the word "Cross" in their names. Name both? Who was the last English born manager to manage/coach an FA Cup winning side? If you were playing darts and got a 'Shanghai' score of 72 with 3 darts which number have you scored on? Which character had a valet called Kato? What is the name of the RAF's aerobatics team? In which ocean are the Canary Islands? The phrase ‘mind your p’s and q’s’ originally meant to watch how much you had to drink, but what did the letters p & q stand for? What units are used to measure sound intensity? What flavour is the liqueur Cointreau? What nationality was the famous spy Mata Hari - Dutch, Austrian, French? Which Saint's Day is 17th March? Whose catchphrase was 'Ooo you are awful but I like you'? What was first crossed by tightrope by Charles Blondin in 1859? Which animals young is called a joey? In All The Presidents Men, Robert Redford and Dustin Hoffman play journalists investigating which break-in? Which two teams contested the first Post World War Two Wembley FA Cup Final? What is the worlds Northern most capital? Which game might you be watching if you were at The Belfry? How many squares are there on a snakes and ladders board? Which childrens cartoon character had a ship called the Black Pig? How many sheets of paper are there in a ream? What title is giving to the wife of an Earl called? Who played Corporal Jones in 'Dad's Army'? What does an 'Anemometer' measure ? Ankara is the capital of which country? In Pop music, which two herbs go with 'Parsley & Sage'? What sort of creature is a bustard? In the USA if you were a bootlegger what would you be selling illegallyl? In the Hans Christian Andersen story, which little girl was found inside the petals of a flower? Which is the only US state to begin with the letter 'P'? What nationality is the worlds oldest airline Koninklijke Luchtvaart Maatschappi? Which spirit is the base for a Black Russian cocktail? In motoring terms what does OHC stand for? Chalk Jensen Button 3 Honalee Spanish Face off Australia Harry Potter Kings cross and Charing cross Harry Rednapp (2008 - portsmouth beat Cardiff 12 Inspector Clousseau Red Arrrows Atlantic Pints & Quarts Decibels Orange Dutch St. Patrick Dick Emery Niagara Falls Kangaroo Watergate Chelsea v Leeds (1970) Reykjavik, Iceland Golf 100 Captain Pugwash 500 Countess Clive Dunn Windspeed Turkey Rosemary and Thyme - Scarborough fair A bird Alcohol Thumbelina Pennsylvania Dutch (KLM) Vodka Overhead Camshaft The Nuffield Radio Astronomy Laboratory is better known by which name? How many countries are still members of the British Commonwealth (five either side)? Pershore, Victoria and Washington are types of which fruit? How many times in succession did Bjorn Borg win the Men's Tennis Singles at Wimbledon? The character Shylock appears in the Merchant of Venice written by whom? P&O, the shipping line, stands for what? Who wrote the novel Dracula? How many valves does a trumpet have? Apart from London name one other city in Britain have an underground railway system? How many players are there in an Australian Rules football team? What is a person who shoes horses called? Which team was Liverpool playing in the 1985 European Cup Final when the Heysel stadium disaster happened, banning all English clubs from European Football for 6 years? What is the UK equivalent of the American Army Delta Force? What was the first name of the movie character Indiana Jones? Which comedian was born 'Maurice Cole'? In which country is Acapulco? Which Disney film features the song 'The Bear Necessities'? What type of animal is a Wessex Saddleback? Which game can be 'lawn' or 'crown green'? How many balls are on the table at the start of a frame of snooker? In Australian slang, what is a 'Thunder Box'? Björn & Benny, Agnetha & Anni-Frid are better known as who? In the song, 'The House of the Rising Sun' is in which city? Who invented the bouncing bomb? Which animal lives in a Drey? What does "Five-O" stand for in the TV series Hawaii Five 0? In the phonetic alphabet, what word represents the letter H ? Which is the oldest club in the Football League, founded in 1862? What American state is Silicon Valley in? From what musical did the song "I'm gonna wash that man right out of my hair" come ? How high is the basket in Basketball in feet? Who was married too Cassandra in "Only Fools & Horses"? In the 20th century, how many England internationals have be named European footballer of the year? How many shillings were in a sovereign? Which musical instrument has 47 strings? Originally registered as the Oxford Committee for Famine Relief, what is it now called? What was the family name of the Beverly Hillbillies? What is the colour of the number 13 on a roulette wheel? What is done to a herring to make it into a kipper? What is an ‘Alto Cumulus’? In which European country would you find Tuscany? What type of animal is a cottontail? Jodrell Bank 53 Plum 5 Shakespeare Peninsular and Oriental Bram Stoker 3 Glasgow, Liverpool, Newcastle 18 Farrier Juventus Delta Force Henry Walton "Indiana" Jones, Jr Kenny Everett Mexico The Jungle Book A pig Bowls 22 (fifteen reds, 6 colours, 1 white) Toilet Abba New Orleans Barnes Wallis Squirrel Hawaii was the 50th State of America Hotel Notts County California South pacific 10 ft (3.05 metres) Rodney Three. Kevin Keegan, Bobby Charlton, Stanley M 20 Harp OXFAM The Clampetts Black It is smoked A cloud Italy A Rabbit Which musician was known as ‘Satchmo’? Which British royal was once married to Lord Snowden? Which ice dance partnership performed to Ravel’s Bolero? Which was the only non-European nation to win the men's football world cup in the 90's? What relationship is Queen Elizabeth II to Prince William? Who were Andy Pandy's two best friends? What is the name of the Israeli Secret Service? Which hollywood actress married nine times won the 1936 'Miss Hungary' title but had to give it up because she was under 16? Who has managed both England and Australia's national football team? What does a chandler make and/or sell? What is Dennis the Menace's dog called? Who won seven gold medals at the 1974 Olympics? In athletics field events, what weighs sixteen pounds (7.25kg)? Which country is Luxembourg the capital of? In which three Olympic sports do men and women compete together? Which detective shares his name with a chocolate covered ice-cream bar? Which of the world's capital cities stands on the Potomac River? In which film was the song 'Raindrops are falling on my Head' a theme tune? In speedway racing, how many laps of the track does a race consist of? Which out of this world historic event happened on Sunday, July 20, 1969? Which historical event started with the storming of the Winter Palace, St Petersburg in 1917? A Skulk is the collective noun for a group of What? Which river starts in switzerland and runs through Litchenstein, Austria, Germany, France, Netherlands Who played Emma Peel in the Avengers? What colour is calamine lotion? Buster Crabbe, Johnny Weissmuler and Ron Ely have all played which Movie/TV character? Who was known in the Second World War, as ‘The Forces Sweetheart’? Who wrote the lyrics for the stage musicals Evita and Jesus Christ Superstar? The Colorado River flows through which mountain range? How many square miles is the City of London? Which is the only sport you are not allowed to play left-handed? How many consonants are there in the English alphabet? Which vegetable can be oyster, chestnut or shitaki? Which of the 7 dwarfs has the longest name? What boy's name is also a grade of proficiency in judo? What did the crocodile swallow in Peter Pan? What type of creature is a painted lady? How many strings does a Spanish guitar have? In the novel Animal Farm which animals took over the farm? Who was the 'Maid of Orleans'? How many chambers has the heart? Steamboat Willy introduced which famous character to the silver screen in 1928? Louis Armstrong Princess Margaret Torvill & Dean Brazil Grandmother Teddy and Looby Loo Mossad Zsa Zsa Gabor Terry Venables Candles Gnasher Mark Spitz Shot Putt Luxembourg Yachting, shooting, equestrianism Magnum (P.I.) Washington DC Butch Cassidy and the Sundance kid 4 Neil Armstrong walked on the moon. The Russian Revolution. Foxes Rhine Diana Rigg Pink Tarzan Vera Lynn Tim Rice The Rockies One. Polo 21 Mushrooms Bashful, Dopey, Grumpy, Happy, Sleepy, Doc Dan An alarm clock. Butterfly 6 Pigs Joan of Arc 4 Mickey Mouse In which country are Saab cars manufactured? What is the official bird of Britain? What is the currency of Turkey? What do you call an eight sided figure? In which US city is the Sears tower? Whose first Secret Diary was written when he was 13 3/4? What is the name of the cat that chases Tweetie Pie? Who is the only non-league side (now a London Premiership team) to win the FA Cup? What were the little people in the Wizard of Oz called? Who is the Greek God of the sea? What is the main ingredient of risotto? Which major sporting event began on 17 June 1994 at Soldier Field, Chicago? In which English city was the boxer Prince Naseem Hamed born? How many fences are there in the Grand National? Which London landmark was named after Sir Benjamin Hall? Ring of Bright Water' is a book about which creatures? What is Del Boys local called in only fools and horses? What was the name of Thor Heyerdahl's balsa wood raft on which he crossed the Pacific in 1947 covering 6920km, hoping to prove that Native South Americans could have migrated to the Pacific islands? Released in 1997 What is the Top selling UK single of all time an adaptation of the original to commmemorate a famous British icon? Who was Passepartout's travel companion? In which year did Queen Elizabeth the second of England come to the throne? What nationality was the explorer Christopher Columbus? In which country is the Masai Mara game reserve? What was the name of the family in the Sound of Music? What goods were for sale from the Dublin street vendor, Molly Malone? Which weather phenomenon translates from the Spanish for 'little boy'? What's the name of the dog in the Tom and Jerry cartoons? Name Gladys Knights backing group? In London, the Cambridge, the Lyric and the Adelphi are all what? What sport was the subject of the film 'National Velvet'? Who is the first female in line to the British throne? In which series did Steve Garrett say 'Book 'em Danno!'? Name the Greenpeace trawler which was sunk in July 1985. What does a cooper make? Which tribe did Geronimo lead? Which fruit is the main ingredient of Spanish gazpacho soup? How many children were in Enids Blytons Famous Five? Which country's team always leads the Olympic opening procession? Which country's team is always last at the Olympic opening procession? What is the one place in all of Great Britain that the Queen cannot visit? Sweden Robin Lira Octagon Chicago Adrian Mole Sylvester Tottenham Hotspur. They were elected to the lea Munchkins Poseidon. Rice Football World Cup Sheffield 32 (2 circuits of 16) Big Ben Otters The Nags Head KonTiki. Candle in the wind Phileas Fogg 1952 Italian Kenya Von Trapp Cockles and mussels El Nino Spike The Pips Theaters Horse racing Princess Beatrice Hawaii Five-O Rainbow Warrior Barrels The Apache Tomato 4 (1 dog) Greece The Host Nation House of Commons The Yeomen of the Guard are known by what other name? Which is the odd wine out? Sherry, Retsina, Champagne, Port or Bordeaux In sport what can be a maximum of 38 inches long & 4 inches wide? Name 3 of the five James Bond films that have titles of only one word? What is the name of the international agreement that established a code for the treatment of prisoners of war? What was the name of Bruce Wayne’s butler? Who managed the first English side to win the European Cup? What is the national bird of New Zealand? What is the maximum number of men allowed in a tug-of-war team? Which country did boxer Lennox Lewis represent at the Olympics? Which film studio had a lion as its symbol? In which city was John F Kennedy assassinated? Which football team did Alf Garnett support? Which American Athlete said, 'That business with Hitler didn't bother me, I didn't go there to shake hands with him anyway'? What type of transport did Steve McQueen use to escape in the film 'The Great Escape'? Who had a hit with "The Fastest Milkman in the West"? In which country was the Battle of El Alamain fought? Where did Tony Bennett leave his heart? Q: How many degrees are there in a circle? Q: Near which European Capital city is Orly airport? Q: What is the name of the butler in the Addams family? Q: In 1929, who ordered the infamous St Valentines Day Massacre Q: What do vertebrates have that invertebrates do not? Q: In movies what was Marrion Morrison’s stage name? Q: What was Beethoven's first name? Q: Which sport are Dick Francis' novels about? Q: What is a young kangaroo called? Q: Name the ranch where the Cartwright's lived in Bonanza. Q: Name the geological fault that runs the length of California? Q: Who rolled down the hill last, Jack or Jill? Q: Which ex sportsman links the films Swordfish, Gone In 60 Seconds and Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels? Q: Who led the "Dirty Dozen" in the film of the same name? Q: Which soap pub sells Newton and Ridley? Q: What is a period of play in polo called? Q: Who was the last Briton to win a men's singles title at Wimbledon? Q: What is mined at Kimberley, Australia ? Q: Which American President did John Hinckley Junior shoot? Q: Which English Pop Star played Ned Kelly in the 1970 film of the same name? Q: Which soccer team did Ian Botham play for? Q: Macaroni, Gentoo, Chinstrap and Emperor are types of which sea creature? Q: In a modern 3 pin electrical plug, what is the colour of the live or positive wire? Beefeaters Retsina (describes the flavour) All the others des Cricket bat Goldfinger, Goldeneye, Moonraker, Octopussy, T Geneva convention Alfred Matt Busby The kiwi Eight Canada MGM Dallas West Ham Jesse Owens (after Hitler refused to shake his ha Motorbike Benny Hill Egypt San Francisco A: 360 A: Paris A: Lurch A: Al Capone A: A backbone A: John Wayne A: Ludwig A: Horse racing A: Joey A: Ponderosa A: San andreas fault A: Jill A: Vinnie Jones A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: Lee Marvin Rovers' Return Chukka Fred Perry Gold Ronald Reagan Mick Jagger Scunthorpe United Penguins Brown Q: Who was Queen of England for only 9 days before she was beheaded? Q: How many square inches are there in a square foot? Q: Which famous sports person married his fiancé Elin Nordegren in Barbados in October 2004? Q: Which musical is the name of a US state? Q: Who recorded the 70's disco song "You're My First, My last, My Everything"? Q: What is the official residence of the French President? Q: Who was the first Black soccer captain for England? Q: In the cartoon, who is Andy Capp’s wife? Q: In which 70's series did you see the characters Reagan & Carter? Q: How many strings has a Ukulele? Q: WhIch female tennis player won a 'Golden Slam' in 1988 by winning the singles titles at the Australian, French, Wimbledon and United states tennis championships and the Olympic games? Q: What nationality is the violinist, Yehudi Menuhin? Q: What 3 colours are the national flag of Belgium? Q: Which politician, born in Tredegar, Monmouthshire, in 1942 was leader of the British Labour Party from 1983 to 1992? Q: What currency is used in Japan? Q: How is the Aurora Australis better known? Q: In May 1984, Alan Pettigrew of Loch Lomond gained the world record from throwing what item with a distance of 55.11 metres? Q:Willie John McBride is a name associated with which sport? Q:In the nursery rhyme, who were the Three Men in a Tub? Q: Who did Mark Chapman kill in New York? Q: The picture of which American President appears on the 1 dollar bill? Q: In the phonetic alphabet, what word represents the letter Z ? Q: What three flavours make up a neopolitan ice cream? Q: Which brown bear befriended Mowgli? Q: What colour lenses are required to view a "3-D" film? Q: What number is opposite a one on a dice? Q: In which sport would you have an Eskimo roll? Q: How many sides has a dodecagon? Q: On which Island is Wall Street? Q: In which novel does Fagin appear? Q: The spray WD-40 is often used to help cars start, and free locks – what does the WD stand for? Q: What is the name of the medical oath taken by doctors? Q: Who was Liza Minnelli's mother? Q: Which golden land or city was believed by the Spanish conquistadores to exist in the Amazon? Q: What two colours is a Piebald Horse? Q: What number does the Roman numeral D stand for? Q:What orbital body last appeared in our skies in 1986? Q: How many colours are there in the rainbow? Q: Which extremely popular TV and movie series was originally created by Gene Roddenberry? A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: Lady Jane Grey 144 Tiger Woods Oklahoma Barry White Elysée Palace Paul Ince Flo The Sweeny 4 Steffi Graff A: American A: Black, Yellow and Red A: Neil Kinnock A: Yen A: The southern lights A: A haggis A:Rugby Union A: Butcher, Baker, Candlestick Maker A: John Lennon A: Goerge Washington A: Zulu A: Vanilla, chocolate, stawberry A: Baloo A: Red & Green A: Six A: Canoeing A: 12 A: Manhattan A: Oliver Twist A: Water Dispersant A: Hippocratic oath A: Judy Garland A: El Dorado A: Black and White A: 500 A:Haley's comet A: Seven A: Star trek Q: What is a female deer called? Q: Which Agatha Christie fictional detective lives in St Mary Mead? Q: Who's fist number one uk hit in 1962 was "From me to you"? Q: The initials TC stand for which cartoon character? Q: Tawny, Ruby & Vintage are 3 styles of which Drink? Q: What is the correct name for a coffin made from stone? Q: Who was the first footballer to captain three FA Cup winning teams at Wembley? Q: What is the collective noun for a group of owls? Q: From which country does Grolsch lager originate? Q: What did the Tin Man ask the Wizard of Oz for? Q: What’s the highest civilian award for heroism in Britain? Q: Admiralty Arch is at one end of the Mall in London, what is at the other end Q: What is the official diameter of the centre circle on a soccer pitch? Q: To which document did King John set his seal to at Runnymede in 1215? Q:Sheffield United won the Football League Cup 1991, Manchester United won it in 1992, But which sponsers had the cup named after them in these years? Q: What is the famous five-word catchphrase of American boxing MC Michael Buffer? Q: What is the name of the dog in the Magic Roundabout? Q: In which Dickens novel is the character Bill Sykes? Q: Who was comic strip Melchester Rovers most famous player? Q: Which house furnishing is associated with the town of Kidderminster? Q: Which baseball fielding position is behind home plate? Q: Who won an Oscar for Best Actress for the film Sophie’s Choice? Q: Which is the shortest circuit in Formula 1 Q: There are only 4 gemstones that can be called precious – the rest are semi-precious, what are the 4? Q: What word is used for the letter 'O' in the phonetic alphabet? Q: What is the nearest English city to Dublin, Eire? Q: What name is given to the document given out by a political party before an election, setting out its policies? Q: To get a break of 147 in snooker, how many balls would you have to pot? Q: During World War Two What were Little Boy and Fat Man? Q: What is another name for ground almond paste? Q: In the Bible, what battle will take place at the end of the world? Q: What unit of measure is usually used to describe sounds? Q: Which piece of kitchen equipment contains a magnetron? Q: What colour is the cross on the Swedish Flag? Q: Which two numbers used in conjunction mean ‘Message Understood’? Q: Whose official residence is Lambeth Palace in London? Q: What is the name of the line that cuts a circle in half? Q: Before its independence Bangladesh was part of which Asian Country? Q: What links the football world cup winners of 1930, 1934, 1966, 1974, 1978 and 1998? Uruguay, Italy, England, West Germany, Argentina and France. Q: Where in London is Traitor’s Gate? A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: Doe Miss Marple Beatles Top cat Port Sarcophagus Bryan Robson A parliament Netherlands A heart George cross Buckingham palace 20 yards (18.3 metres) Magna Carta A:Rumbelows A: Let's get ready to rumble A: Dougal A: Oliver Twist A: Roy Race A: Carpets A: Catcher A: Meryl Streep A: Monaco A: Diamond, Emerald, Ruby and Sapphire A: Oscar A: Liverpool A: Manifesto A: 36 A: The 2 Atomic Bombs dropped on Japan A: Marzipan A: Armageddon A: Decibel A: Microwave oven A: Yellow A: 10/4 A: Archbishop of Canterbury A: Diameter A: Pakistan A: They were all host nations A: Tower of london Q: In which sport (exact name) would you play for the william Ellis Trophy? Q: What is the highest pitched woodwind instrument? Q: What is the name of the captain in "Are you being served" Q:Does a Staligmite hang down from a ceiling of a cave or rise up from the floor? Q: What do you get if you mix potassium nitrate, charcoal and sulphur? Q: The first Successful Heart Transplant was performed in Cape Town, South Africa in which decade? Q: What was the name of the ship in which the Pilgrim Fathers set sail in 1620? Q: Which British car manufacturer produced the Avenger and Minx? Q: What movie launched Buzz Lightyear on the world? Q: Which entertainer was nicknamed Satchmo? Q: Which famous landmark was built on the 13th August 1961 and came down on 9th November 1989? Q: In the Bible who were the parents of Cain & Abel? Q: In which film does a nun, on the run from the Nazis, and accompanied by a group of children, sing at the Salzburg Festival? Q: Which food item has a museum dedicted to it's history and is located in Pontedassio, Italy? Q: ibiya's flag is the only flag in the world which consists of a single solid color. Which Colour? Q: Which part of a man’s body enlarges by up to 8 times when he sees an attractive female? Q: Which British monarch was persuaded by Prime Minister Disraeli to take the title 'Empress Of India' ? Q: What is the highest score draw ever recorded in the Football League? Q: Who did Lyndon johnson succeed as President of the United States in 1963 after his assassination? Q: What is the name of the ferocious fish, shaped like a torpedo which is found in warm seas and is closely related to the sea-perch? Q: In Tennis Pam Shriver holds the record for the most Ladies doubles trophies who was her partner? Q: From which trees do conkers come? Q: Name the song from these lyrics “These vagabond shoes are longing to stray” Q: Which British TV programme is the World's longest running TV sci-fi series? Q: What's the name of the Swiss wax modeller who made death masks during the French Revolution and died in 1850. Q: Which U.S City is the home of the Motown Record Company? Q: What is a shoemaker's model of the human foot called? Q: A mahout is a person who works with and rides what? Q: What was the maiden name of Diana, Princess of Wales? Q: In Children's cartoons, who does Sylvester chase? Q: Mr and Mrs Smith have 6 daughters, each daughter has one brother, how many people are in the family? Q: In bingo calls, what number is "trombones"? Q: What is the longest race in men's athletics? Q: Which country was invaded by Iraq in 1990? Q: In which month is VE Day? Q: Who was Anne Hathaway married to? Q: Which of the following is the odd one out: Ming, Royal Doulton, Chippendale, and Wedgwood? Q: Which cocktail consists of Tia Maria, Vodka and Coke? Q: What movement did Lord Baden Powell found? Q: Where in the body is the Scapula? A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: Rugby Union Piccolo Peacock Rises from the floor (staligtite hangs down) Gunpowder 60's (Dec 3rd 1967) The mayflower Hillman Toy Story Louis Armstrong The Berlin wall Adam and Eve A: The sound of music A: The historical museum of spaghetti A: Green A: The pupil of his eye A: Queen Victoria A: 6 - 6 (Charlton v Middlesborough 22 Oct 1960 A:John F Kennedy A: Barracuda A:Martina Navaratilova A: Horse Chestnut A: New York, New York by Frank Sinatra A: Dr. Who A: Madame Tussaud A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: Detroit A Last Elephants Spencer Tweetie Pie Nine. 6 daughters plus ONE brother plus Mr a 76 50 Kilometre Walk Kuwait May (8th May 1945) William Shakespeare Chippendale (It's furniture). The rest are pott Black Russian Boy scouts Shoulder blade Q: How many straight lines are there on a football pitch? Q: In polite circles what drink is always passed to the left? Q: What is the name of Sydney ’s famous beach? Q: According to the title of the Hans Christian Anderson story who had new clothes? Q: In which country is the huge game reserve the Masai Mara? Q: Which country does Sambuca originate from? Q: Who was the first Merseybeat group to have a UK number one single? Q: What Age followed the Bronze Age? Q: Who were: Peter Tork, Mike Nesmith, Micky Dolenz, and Davy Jones collectively known as? Q: What is the common name for nitrous oxide? Q: What does a cartographer do? Q: Which cartoon character came from Mexico and was the fastest mouse in the world? Q: How many numbers are there on a traditional bingo card? Q: In the human body, what is the patella better known as? Q: What is a 'half-hunter'? Q: In which TV series did the brothers Hoss, Adam and Little Joe appear? Q: Brian Deane scored the first ever Premiership goal for which team? Q: How many consecutive questions would you have had to get right to become a millionaire on the TV show? Q: Which French phrase means ' road closed at one end'? Q: How many laps are there in a normal speedway race - 3, 4 or 5? Q: Who was god of the sea in Greek Mythology? Q: Which tennis player was stabbed while playing against Steffi Graf in Hamburg in 1993? Q: Who cut off the tails of the three blind mice? Q: Which famous movie star was Mr Universe between 1978 and 1980? Q: What word links a group of whales with a group of peas? Q: What were the gangs called in West Side Story? Q: What’s the title of the person who gives the results of elections in Britain? Q: Which parts of your body are said metaphorically to burn when someone is talking about you? Q: True or false…electric eels actually produce electricity? Q: Vespa and Lambretta are famous manufacturers of what? Q: Arsenal did it 2003/4, Preston did it in 1888/89. What did both clubs do? Q: Two main London railway stations have the word “Cross” in their names. Name both. Q: What was the name of Sir Clive Sinclair's electric tricycle, launched in 1985? Q: Which Gladiator led a Revolt against Rome in 73 BC? Q: In which city were the 2008 Olympics be held? Q: What is the name of Yogi Bear’s best friend? Q: Who was the last British Prime Minister not to have a wife? Q: What name is given to the Spanish drink that consists of sweetened red wine and lemonade or soda water and decorated with fruit? Q: Which Sport is played by the Boston Red Sox? Q: What colour is the M on the Mcdonald’s logo? Q: In cricket how many ways can a batsman be dismissed? Q: Which trio topped the Christmas charts in the 60s with the song “Lily The Pink”? A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: 17 Port Bondi Beach The Emperor Kenya Italy Gerry & the Pacemakers Iron Age The Monkees Laughing Gas Makes maps Speedy Gonzales Fifteen The kneecap A type of pocket watch Bonanza Sheffield United 15 Cul de sac 4 Poseidon Monica Selles The Farmer’s Wife Arnold Schwarzenegger Pod the Sharks and the Jets Returning Officer Ears True Scooters Go through an entire top flight league season Kings Cross & Charing Cross The C5 Spartacus Beijing Boo Boo Margaret Thatcher Sangria Baseball Yellow 10 The Scaffold Q: Q: Q: Q: Q: Q: Q: Q: Q: Q: Q: Q: Q: Q: Q: Q: Q: Q: Q: Q: Q: Q: Q: Q: Q: Q: Q: Q: Q: Q: Q: Q: Q: Q: Q: Q: Q: Q: Q: Q: Q: Q: Q: Which South American country has an Inca name meaning 'Cold Winter'? Who was manager of Manchester United immediately before Sir Alex Ferguson? Who lived at 221B Baker Street? Which working class cartoon character was created by Reg Smythe? In which city would you find the Wailing Wall? In Legend, which bird rose from its own ashes? 'Sing Sing' is located in New York city. What is it? On which day of the week are British elections held? Adam West and Burt Ward played which characters in a tv series? Why are some soccer teams in England allowed triangular corner flags while others are not? In which city did gangster Al Capone operate? Who was the first person pictured on a British postage stamp? Which famous race takes place annually between Putney and Mortlake? In the 1984 Olympics, who did Zola Budd accidentally trip up? Which war’s 1st Land Battle was at Goose Green? In children's literature, complete the title of the story by CS Lewis, 'The lion, the Witch and the what? How many strings are there on a Cello? Who was the italian WWII leader who was executed and then exhibited by his own people? In which city is the San Siro stadium? How many pairs of chromosomes do humans have, 23 ,46 or 92? Long haul air travellers are in danger of developing which condition commonly known as DVT? The Jazz singer staring Al Jolson was the first hollywood movie using what? What are the surnames of the Three Tenors? What are dried plums called? Why was Louise Brown famous in 1978? According to the nursery rhyme how many blackbirds were baked in a pie? What is the capital of the Canadian province of Nova Scotia and also a town in Northern England? Which bowler has taken more test wickets than any other? Tenerife is part of which island group? 'Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine' - What movie is that line from? How many hurdles are there in 110m? In Roald Dahl’s children’s book BFG, what does BFG stand for? Which American family live at 742 Evergreen Terrace? Which of Disney's 7 dwarfs' is last alphabetically? In which sport do women compete for the Federation Cup? What sort of creature is a Chester White? What is the usual main meat ingredient of Shish Kebab? What is the capital of Jamaica? In the Order of the British Empire what does the 'C' stand for in CBE? If you were riding on an AMTRAC in the USA on what would you be riding? Who was the first footballer to be knighted? What nationality was George Bernard Shaw? In which 1988 film would you find a villain called Hans Gruber? A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: Chile Ron Atkinson Sherlock Holmes Andy Capp Jerusalem The Phoenix NY State Prison Thursday Batman and Robin If they have won the F. A. Cup they are allow Chicago Queen Victoria The Oxford and Cambridge Boat Race Mary Decker Falklands Wardrobe 4 Mussolini Milan 23 Deep vein thrombosis the first feature-length talking motion picture Pavarotti, Carraras, Domingo Prunes She was the first test-tube baby Four and twenty or 24. Halifax Muttiah Muralitharan (Sri Lanka). He took his Canary Islands Casablanca 10 Big Friendly Giant The Simpsons Sneezy Tennis Pig Lamb Kingston Commander Train. USA national train line Sir Stanley Mathews Irish Die Hard Q: What was the name of the queen mother's London home? Q: What fruit did Little Jack Horner pull out of his pie? Q: What was Michelangelo's first name? Q: In 'Star Trek', what colour is Mr. Spock's blood? Q: Where in the body would you find the cochlea and the stirrup? Q: Where would wear a bicorn? Q: What is the longest river in the UK? Q: From which American state does the drink Jack Daniels come? Q: Leeds United’s football strip changed from blue and gold (to all white) in 1961 after manager Don Revie wanted to model them on which team? Q: What colour is the centre scoring zone on an archery target? Q: Hermit, spider and blue are all types of which creature? Q: In the rhyme What eventually killed the old lady who swallowed a fly? Q: In bingo what number is snakes alive? Q: Put these people in order of rank, highest 1st, Jack Jones, George Mainwaring and Arthur Wilson. From dad’s army of course. Q: What is the collective name for a group of Camels? Q: Which of the Apollo space missions was the first to land on the moon? Q: In which classic film did Sylvester Stallone act as goalkeeper, while Michael Caine and footballing legend Pele, were also on the pitch? Q: What do you call the underground systems in both Paris and Newcastle? Q: Michael Bond wrote about which famous animal in a series of books for children? Q: How many balls are on the table at the start of a Snooker game? Q: What was introduced by Barclays Bank for the 1st Time on June 17th 1967? Q: Which sportsman was nicknamed 'Pistol Pete'? Q: The Rock, is the nickname of which US federal prison that opened in 1934? Q: Mark Knopfler, David Knopfler, John Illsley and Pick Withers are all members of which Band? Q: What is the name of the Flintstones’ daughter? Q: Edgar Rice Burroughs wrote about which jungle character? Q: What is traditionally eaten on Shrove Tuesday? Q: What do the British call what Americans call a faucet? Q: What is the world's longest river? Q: A nicker was slang for which British pre-decimal currency unit? Q: Which anniversary is celebrated upon 25 years of marriage? Q: How many hulls does a catamaran have? Q: What type of protective equipment was issued to all the people in Britain in 1939? Q: Who had 'the face that launched a thousand ships'? Q: Who replaced Pierce Brosnan as James Bond? Q: What was the name of the Uncle named after a european country in 'The Wombles'? Q: In folklore a Werewolf can only be killed by what? Q: What nationality is tennis player Michael Chang? Q: What breed of dog advertises Dulux Paint' on TV? Q: The Patron Saint of lovers St Valentine came from which European Country? A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: Clarence house Plum Michelangelo Green Ear On your head. A crescent shaped hat as worn Severn Tennessee Real Madrid Gold Crab There was an old lady who swallowed a horse 55 A: 1. Captain George Mainwaring 2. Sergeant Ar A: Train A: Appollo 11 A: Escape To Victory A: Metro A: Paddington Bear A: 22 A: First Cash Dispenser (ATM) A: Pete Sampras A: Alcatraz A: Dire Straits. A: Pebbles A:Tarzan A: Pancakes A: tap A: The Nile A: A pound A: Silver A: 2 A: A gass mask. A: Helen of Troy A: Daniel Craig A: Uncle Bulgaria A: Silver Bullets. A: American A: Old English sheepdog A: Rome/Italy Q: Which horror movie actor's real name was William Pratt? Q: What was the show girl’s name in Barry Manilow's hit Copa cabaña? Q: How do the snakes known as Boas kill their prey? Q:Peter Sellers, Michael Bentine, Spike Milligan and Harry Secombe were collectively known as Who? Q: Which musical featured the song 'Climb Every Mountain'? Q: What colour is traditionally associated with envy? Q: What do you do with a futon? Q: Which brewery stands at Saint James’ Gate Dublin in 1759? Q: In an opera when is the overture played? Q: In who's footsteps did Buzz Aldrin follow in to become the second man to do this? Q: Which silent screen comedy actor in his autobiography said 'All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl'? Q: Which Prime Minister immediately preceded Margaret Thatcher? Q: What is the national flower of Wales? Which legendary Rock Concert began on August 15, 1969 on Max Yasgur's dairy farm? Which comic/movie character used to live in Smallville? What is a male bee called? Which planet shares its name with a type of carnivorous plant? Who was Julie Andrew playing when she sang 'A spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down'? Which marooned character did Daniel DeFore write about? What kind of cheese is made backwards? How many centimetres make a kilometre? Which metal is added to Gold to make White Gold? Which ex Premier league manager was European Footballer of the Year in 1978 and 1979? True or False a Lettuce is a member of the Daisy Family. Errol Brown was the lead singer of which 1970's pop band? At which venue is the Scottish Cup Final traditionally played? Vienna is the capital of which country? How many players are there in a water polo team? In which game do you draw part of a gallows for every wrong answer? Which ex-President declared 'I am not a crook'? What is the national airline of Ireland? What is Frigophobia the fear of? Olfactory relates to which of the senses? Who was the most famous blonde in Gentlemen Prefer Blondes? Lindsay Wagner played which female superhero? What animal lives in an Eyrie? Who solves the crime in 'Death on the Nile'? Which ‘rodent’ first appeared on desk tops in January 1983? Who wrote the Savoy operas? In the United States what is the difference between cider and hard cider? What is the Culinary term for ‘According to the menu’? What is the largest fruit crop on earth? A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: A: Boris Karlov Lola Crush or squeeze The Goons The Sound of Music Green Sleep on it. It’s a bed Guinness The Beginning Neil Armstrong, walked on the moon A: Charlie Chaplin A: James Callaghan A: Daffodil Woodstock Clark Kent (Superman). A drone. Venus (flytrap) Mary Poppins Daniel Defoe. Edam 100 000 Silver Kevin Keegan TRUE Hot Chocolate Hampden Park Austria 7 Hangman Richard Nixon Aer Lingus Cold Smell Marilyn Monroe. Bionic Woman Eagle Hercule Poirot Mouse Gilbert and Sullivan Cider is non alcoholic. A La carte Grapes, followed by bananas. What was the name of Lady Penelope's Chauffeur? Which Japanese sport involves fencing with bamboo swords? A Beluga is a type of which sea creature? What is the name given to the thin veil worn by Moslem women in public? The Rio Grande separates which 2 countries? Gothenburg is the chief seaport of which country? Which Footballer scored a record 6 International Hat Tricks for England? What is the first name of Dr. Frankenstein? Which is the largest planet in the solar system? What sort of family pet is a Flemish giant? What did the British government do on the roads in order to reduce accidents in 1925? In which 20th-century decade was Barbie's boyfriend Ken first made? Roe fallow and sika are all kinds of which animal? What sits on a dolly in a television studio? What according to Scott McKenzie did you wear in your hair in San Francisco? Richard Starkey is the real name of which famous musician? In what year was the first episode of Doctor Who broadcast? 1959, 1963or 1967? Fenchurch Street, Liverpool Street, Kings Cross,... what completes this set? Captain Jack Sparrow was played by Johnny Depp in which series of movie? Jonathan Swift wrote about which Giant Traveller? Steve McQueen, Charles Bronson, James Coburn, Clint Eastwood,Robert Vaughn.Name the odd one out? Only Fools & Horses, 1991, Derek & Raquel What was the name of their baby? Georges Pompidou was President of which European Country from 1959 to 1969? What colour is the bullseye on a standard dartboard? According to the old proverb all roads lead to which capital city? What colour is Sonic the Hedgehog? The Owl and the Pussycat sailed off in which coloured Boat? Who is the all-time best-selling fiction writer in the world, whose 78 crime novels have sold an estimated 2 billion copies? In the 1990 film 'The Hunt For Red October', who or what is Red October? How many numbered compartments are there on a roulette wheel? Who is missing, Porthos, Athos and D'Artagnan? Which sweets advertising tune was "Made to make your mouth water" ? Who was the original presenter of TV's University Challenge? In which country is Acapulco? By what name did the Empire Stadium become known? Who was known as the Maid of Orleans? How did Judith Keppel make television history in November 2000? Peter Simple, Jack Horner and Ben Nevis have all won which famous sporting event? Bandleader Edward Ellington was known by what nickname? In Peter Pan, what is the name of Captain Hook`s ship? In Which part of the body is the Thyroid Gland ? Which animals young is called a joey? Parker Kendo Whale Yashmak USA and Mexico Sweden Jimmy Greaves Victor Jupiter Rabbit Paint white lines. 60s. Deer A camera Flowers Ringo Starr 1963 Marylebone (thay are stations on a Monopoly bo Pirates of the Carribean Gulliver Clint Eastwood was not in The Magnificent Seven Damien France Red Rome Blue PEA GREEN Agatha Christie Submarine 37 (0 to 36) Aramis Opal fruits Bamber Gascoigne Mexico Wembley Joan of Arc She won a million on 'Who Wants To Be A Million The Grand National Duke The Jolly Roger The Neck Kangaroo In which decade did the Great Train Robbery take place? What was introduced into the English football league in 1981 rewarding winning teams? By what name was the serial killer Albert DeSalvo, who killed 13 women between 1962 and 1964, better known? What type of food is gazpacho? What nationality was Pablo Picasso? Morticia and Gomez are the parents of which TV family? What astral event takes place every 76 years? Which current member of the Royal Family qualified as a motor mechanic during World War 2? Which football team did Alf Garnett support? In which American city was the TV show 'Cheers' set? The ancient city of Troy is in which modern country? After which American President was the teddy bear named? Which player won the Wimbledon women's singles most times in the 1980s? What word goes before glove, hound and trot to make 3 new words? What sort of food is a rollmop? In Britain what must a location have to qualify for being a city? After how many points do players change service in table tennis? Why was the muppet show banned in Saudi Arabia? Named after a Premiership football team what is the name of Bill Clinton's daughter? On how many stone tablets were the Ten Commandments engraved? Which Britishactress played Alexis Carrington in 'Dynasty'? In which TV show did Bill and Ben appear? If you have 'mal de mer' what are you suffering from? What name is given to a baby elephant? Where is the New York Stock Exchange? In which sport might you see a Chinaman and a Maiden? In the USA what does the I stand for in CIA? In which country is La Stampa a national newspaper? The House of Keys ceremony is held nightly at which London landmark? Eric Morley founded Which Competition in 1951? Where in your body is your “fibula”? Which Pink bird turns its head upside down to eat? Which island was discovered on Christmas day? An Indian Mahout rides on what type of animal? How many legs has a tarantula? Mary’s father has got four daughters, the first is called Ann, the second is called Anna and the third is called Annie, what is the fourth daughter called? In the Movie "The Sound of Music" how many children were in the Von Trapp Family? Which now seperated american singing duo was originally known as Tom and Jerry? What distance is 1760 yds or 1609.347 meters long? In Japanese, what does the english translation "Devine Wind" mean? Which two colours appear on the flag of Denmark? Who played Lurcio in 'Up Pompeii'? 1960's - 1963 year either side the 3 points system The Boston Strangler Soup - served Cold Spanish Addams family Haley's Comet The Queen West Ham Boston Turkey Theodore (Teddy) Roosevelt Martina Navratilova Fox Fish (It’s an uncooked pickled herring fillet) A cathedral (although Roman Catholic cathedrals 5 Because one of it's stars is a pig Chelsea Two Joan Collins The flowerpot men (and 2 point 4 children) Sea sickness Calf Wall street Cricket Intelligence Italy The tower of london Miss World Leg The flamingo Cristmas island Elephant Eight Mary 7 Simon and Garfunkle Mile Kamakazie Red and white Frankie Howerd What was the name of the Hunchback of Notre Dame? What type of instrument is a Tympani? In a French hotel, which letter would indicate the cold water tap? What bodily function can exceed speeds of 200mph? What is the highest rank available in the British Army? Who played the title role in the film Spartacus? 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Which "Generation Game" presenter was famous for his catchphrase "Shut That Door"? "No Mean City" by Maggie Bell is the theme tune to which long running Scottish TV detective show? Anthony, Barbara, Dave, Denise, Jim and Norma make up which famous family on British TV? What was the Titanic’s first port of call after it left Southampton? Which mountain overshadows Fort William in scotland ? How many pieces are there in a standard set of dominoes? Oscar is the first name of which of the famous songwriting duo Rogers and Hammerstein? On 11th February 1990, which famous person was released from Victor-Verster prison? Which Eastenders actor has played the policeman Nick Rowan on TV? Which patron saint's day is observed on November 30th? What is a more common name for the Aurora Borealis? If you were eating escargots in a French restaurant what would you be eating? From which American state does the drink Jack Daniels come? In which American city was John Lennon shot? 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In Star Trek, what colour is Mr. Spock's blood? | TV ACRES: Blood & Blood Types > Spock (Star Trek)
Blood & Blood Types
Spock - On the sci-fi adventure STAR TREK/NBC/1966-69 Vulcan Science Officer Spock (Leonard Nimoy) had a different blood color that the rest of his human crew on the starship Enterprise. What color is Spock's blood? It is green because the oxidizing agent in Vulcan blood is copper, not iron, as it is in humans. Copper oxide (verdigris) gave Spock's blood its blue-green hue.
We discovered this on episode "Journey to Babel" when Spock's Vulcan father, Ambassador Sarek (Mark Lenard) suffers a heart attack that requires surgery and a life-giving transfusion of T- Negative blood from Spock.
Initially, Spock refuses to donate blood because a knife attack had put Captain Kirk (William Shatner) out of action and put Spock in command of the ship. Logic dictated his responsibility to command the Enterprise outweighed taking time out from a crisis to give his father blood.
In the end, he gave the blood because Kirk faked recovery and returned to the bridge, thus freeing Spock to go to the sickbay and assist in his father's surgery.
In the movie Star Trek III: Search for Spock (1984), Doctor McCoy (DeForest Kelley) mentions Spock blood after Spock surreptitiously performed a Vulcan mind-meld on the Doctor and deposited his "Katra" or life-force inside McCoy's brain. Upon hearing the facts of the matter McCoy exclaimed "That green-blooded son of a bitch! It's his revenge for all the arguments he lost."
TRIVIA NOTE: In June 2007, the medical journal The Lancet reported a case from October 2005 of a 42-year-old man who needed surgery in both lower legs after falling asleep in a kneeling position. His condition necessitated "urgent fasciotomies, limb-saving procedures which involve making surgical incisions to relieve pressure and swelling".
While inserting an arterial catheter in the man's wrist artery, surgeons noticed a discharge of dark greenish-black blood oozing from their patient. Could he be Vulcan? Not really. The man had taken large doses of an anti-migraine drug named sumatriptan. This high in sulphur drug was responsible for changing the color from red to green.
According to Dr Alana Flexman of St Paul's Hospital in Vancouver "The patient recovered uneventfully, and stopped taking sumatriptan after discharge. When seen five weeks after his last dose, he was found to have no sulfhaemoglobin in his blood."
Numerous news outlets covered the story and freely associated the man's green blood with Star Trek's Vulcan Mr. Spock.
Cited as "Dark Green Blood in the Operating Theatre" The Lancet Volume 369 Issue: 9577 (June 9 - 15 2007) p. 1972. Flexman, Alana M; Del Vicario, Giuseppe; Schwarz, Stephan KW.
External Links
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How many different ways are there to make change of a dollar? 111, 293 or 487? | The Lizard with Green Blood (Just Like Spock!) - Neatorama
Neatorama
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Photo: Christopher Austin/Louisiana State University Museum of Natural Science
Mr. Spock, the green-blooded Vulcan on Star Trek, would've said himself this is fascinating. Louisiana State University biologist and NatGeo explorer Christopher Austin studies a species of lizard, the Prasinohaema skink, that has green blood.
Actually, the skink, found almost exclusively on Papua New Guinea, not only has green blood - it has green bones and tissues as well. It's even got a green tongue, Austin remarked in this news article over at National Geographics . But why? It turns out that the animal has an unusually high concentration of the bile pigment biliverdin .
Biliverdin is a pigment that results from the breakdown of hemoglobin, which gives blood its red color. In humans, they're the reason that some bruises are green in color. Too much biliverdin is toxic and gives humans the disease called jaundice, so it's a mystery how the reptile could survive.
Photo: Christopher Austin/Louisiana State University Museum of Natural Science
Austin speculated that the high level of biliverdin in the skin could actually be beneficial:
“It’s surprising because at these concentrations of bile pigments in the blood, [the skinks] should be completely jaundiced, if not dead,” Austin said.
Austin hypothesizes that the lizard evolved to tolerate the biliverdin because it may provide protection against a group of parasites called Plasmodium.
Best known for causing malaria in humans, Plasmodium also causes malaria in reptiles and birds. Austin believes that the presence of toxic biliverdin instead of hemoglobin may make it harder for Plasmodium to infect the skinks.
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Which 1997 film starring Jack Nicholson is known in China as Mr. Cat Poop? | TV and Movies
A Penny For Your Thoughts
TV and Movies
No one probably reads this page.....except for you and the last person.....lol
Frostbite Falls, Minnesota, was home to Rocky and Bullwinkle.
Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981), the first film featuring the character Indiana Jones, was crawling with four-, eight-, and no-legged creatures:
- Number of boas, cobras and pythons used in the film: 7,500
- Number of tarantulas: 50
- Source of the name "Indiana Jones": it was the name of producer George Lucas' pet Malamute.
The first ever televised murder case appeared on TV in 1955, Dec. 5-9. The accused was Harry Washburn.
Twentieth Century-Fox studio cut all scenes showing physical contact between America's curly-haired darling Shirley Temple and Bill "Bojangles" Robinson in "The Little Colonel" in 1934 to avoid social offense and to assure wide U.S. distribution. Pre-release showings of the film, particularly in the southern U.S., shocked audiences when the two actors touched fingers during their famous staircase dance sequence.
Beaver Cleaver graduated in 1953.
On Beaver Cleaver's US tour, he visited Albuquerque on a Tuesday.
Muppets creator Jim Henson first created Kermit in 1955 - as a lizard. He was made from Henson's mother's coat and two halves of a Ping-Pong ball (no flipper feet or eleven-point collar).
The person who performs the Muppets - Miss Piggy, Fozzie, Animal, and Grover is Frank Oz. Oz is also the voice of Star Wars Yoda. By the way, his real name is Frank Oznowicz.
The 1997 Jack Nicholson film - "As Good As It Gets", is known in China as "Mr. Cat Poop".
Of the six men who made up the Three Stooges, three of them were real brothers (Moe, Curly and Shemp.)
The writers of The Simpsons have never revealed what state Springfield is in.
A theater manager in Seoul, Korea felt that The Sound of Music was too long, so he shortened it by cutting out all the songs.
Bruce was the nickname of the mechanical shark used in the "Jaws" movies.
The original title of the musical "Hello Dolly!" was "Dolly: A Damned Exasperating Woman." Why did they change it? The original had such music, poetry, and pizzazz.
Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't wear pants.
A two hour motion picture uses 10,800 feet of film. Not including the previews and commercials.
For many years, the globe on the NBC Nightly News spun in the wrong direction. On January 2, 1984, NBC finally set the world spinning back in the proper direction.
In the Mario Brothers movie, the Princess' first name is Daisy, but in Mario 64, the game, her first name is Peach. Before that, it's Princess Toadstool.
"60 Minutes" is the only show on CBS that doesn’t have a theme song.
Dooley Wilson appeared as Sam in the movie Casablanca. Dooley was a drummer - not a pianist in real life. The man who really played the piano in Casablanca was a Warner Brothers staff musician who was at a piano off camera during the filming.
The TV sitcom Seinfeld was originally named "The Seinfeld Chronicles". The pilot which was broadcast in 1989 also featured a kooky neighbor named Kessler. This character later became known as Kramer.
In the movie 'Now and Then', when the girls are talking to the hippie (Brenden Fraser), and they get up to leave, Teeny (Thora Birch) puts out her cigarette twice.
In Hitchcock’s movie, "Rear Window", Jimmy Stewart plays a character wearing a leg cast from the waist down. In one scene, the cast switches legs, and in another, the signature on the cast is missing.
In the movie "Two Jakes," which is set in the 1940's, Jack Nicholson walks right by a BankOne automatic teller machine. Didn't know there were too many of those around in the 1940's.
In the movie "Bustin' Loose" where Richard Pryor and Cicely Tyson take a group of underprivileged kids to the west coast, the car in which Cicely Tyson's boyfriend is pursuing them changes interior color from red to white and then back to red several times.
In the movie Ghost (Patrick and Demi) when Demi is making something on the pottery wheel her hands are covered in clay. But when her husband comes up behind her to give her a kiss she turns around and they are completely clean.
In Forrest Gump, when Forrest goes to see Jenny toward the end, in one scene, in Jenny's apartment, the iron is up, later, the iron is faced down steaming.
In the original "Star Wars: A New Hope", Mark Hamill, who played Luke Skywalker, called out the name of actress Carrie Fisher, who played Princess Leia, instead of actually calling out "Leia" in the scene near the end where he gets out of his X-wing after destroying the Death Star. The error was never caught.
Danny Kaye was the third choice to play opposite Bing Crosby in the film "White Christmas" (1954). Fred Astaire, who had co-starred with Crosby in the earlier hit "Holiday Inn," was the original choice for Phil Davis, but he turned it down because, at age 55, he felt he was too old for the part. Donald O'Connor was next selected for the sidekick role, but he injured his back and couldn't dance for months. Kaye was quite miffed about being third in line, and also resented playing second banana to Crosby. The atmosphere on the film set was professional, but frosty.
David Niven and George Lazenby were the only two actors who played James Bond only once.
In "Cliff Hanger" when the girl is dangling off Stallone’s arm, the camera flashes to the chopper and the old man in the picture is laughing.
In White Christmas, there are 2 scenes with bloopers- first when the 2 sisters are talking, Rosemary Clooney pours coffee, then puts the pot down and the next time they show her she's pouring it again. And later, when the General and his granddaughter step into the ballroom, the granddaughter steps back out of the spotlight then a second later, she does it again.
The most popular sport as a topic for a film is boxing.
Scooby Doo's first real name is Scoobert.
The studios wanted Matthew McConaughey, the newest heartthrob in the industry, cast as hero Jack Dawson in the 1997 box office hit Titanic, but director James Cameron insisted on Leonardo DiCaprio.
According to lead Munchkin Jerry Maren, the "little people" on the set of The Wizard of Oz (1939) were paid $50 per week for a 6-day work week, while Toto received $125 per week. During filming, Toto was stepped on by one of the witch's guards, and had a double for two weeks. A second double was obtained, because it resembled Toto more closely.
In an episode of The Simpsons, Sideshow Bob's Criminal Number is 24601, the same as the Criminal number of Jean Valjean in Les Miserables.
In every show that Tom Jones and Harvey Schmidt (The Fantasticks) wrote, there is at least one song about rain.
From Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me — In the U.S., "shag" is far less offensive than in other English-speaking countries. Singapore briefly forced a title change to "The Spy Who Shioked Me." ("Shioked" means "treated nicely.")
Actress Halle Berry turned down the role of Annie, and Stephen Baldwin turned down the role of Jack in the 1994 "Speed". The blockbuster film catapulted Sandra Bullock as a major film actress, and greatly improved upon Keanu Reeve's box office appeal.
During the chariot scene in 'Ben Hur' a small red car can be seen in the distance.
Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World WarII were made of wood.
The first toy product ever advertised on television was Mr. Potato Head. Introduced in 1952, Mr. Potato Head took advantage of TV's explosive growth to gain access to tens of millions of newly "plugged-in" households.
In the Return of the Jedi special edition during the new Coruscant footage at the end of the film a stormtrooper can be seen being carried over the crowds.
Mrs. Clause's first name is Jessica in the movie "Santa Clause is Coming to Town".
The movie "Clue" has three different endings. Each ending was randomly chosen for different theaters. All three endings are present in the home video.
The longest film ever released was "****" by Andy Warhol, which lasted 24 hours. It proved, not surprisingly (except perhaps to its creator) an utter failure. It was withdrawn and re-released in a 90-minute form as 'The Loves of Ondine.'
What does U.F.C. champion Dan 'the beast' Severn have in common with former Hard-core champion Al Snow? In the ring, not too much. But in the movies, they both played a football player in the movie 'Rudy'.
Some television families' home addresses: The Simpsons - 742 Evergreen Terrace, Springfield; The Bunkers (All In The Family) - 704 Hauser, Queens; The Munsters - 1313 Mockingbird Lane, Mockingbird Heights
The first far eastern country to permit kissing in films was China. The first oriental screen kiss was bestowed on Miss Mamie Lee in the movie "Two Women in the House" (China, 1926).
The first female monster to appear on the big screen was Bride of Frankenstein.
The first black and white motion picture to be digitally converted to color was "Yankee Doodle Dandy", the 1942 biography of George M. Cohen.
For the movie "Mission To Mars", director Brian DePalma and crew needed to re-create the surface of the planet Mars. They chose the more than two million square feet of a 45-acre sand dune in Vancouver, Canada. To give the sand dune the color of the planet Mars, they covered it with over 15,000 gallons of red paint.
The Pentagon was allowed to choose some of the clothes that John Travolta wore in the movie "Broken Arrow" so that the military would be portrayed positively.
Several of the Bond girls, namely Ursula Andress, Shirley Eaton, Eunice Gayson, and Claudine Auger, were unable to match an alluring voice to their sexy physical attributes. For each of them, their lines were dubbed by aspirant actress Nikki van der Zyl, who later left the film industry to practice as a legal professional. On "Doctor No," van der Zyl did every female voice except Miss Moneypenny and a Chinese girl, and she also dubbed Raquel Welch's grunting in "One Million Years B.C."
The TV signals seen by New Jersey residents come almost exclusively from New York and Philadelphia, cities oriented to other states. New Jersey has less in the way of state media than any other state of its population.
In 1952, CBS made computer history by being the first to use a computer, the UNIVAC I, to forecast the U.S. presidential election.
In "The Wizard of Oz," Dorothy's last name is Gale.
The name of the Vulcan's heaven is Sha Ka Ree.
The last female to occupy the Number 1 spot on the Top Ten Box Office list was Julie Andrews in 1967; the top position has been filled by a female film performer only 12 times (by six actresses) since 1932, when the list was established. The other five females to hold the Number 1 box office position are Shirley Temple (four times), Doris Day (twice), Marie Dressler (twice), Betty Grable (once), and Elizabeth Taylor (once). Andrews was ranked Number 1 twice.
The 1987 film "Hot Rod Harlots" was promoted with this tag line: "Unwed! Untamed! Unleaded! Backseat Bimbos meet their Roadside Romeos."
Kathleen Turner was the voice of Jessica Rabbit, and Amy Irving was her singing voice.
In the film 'Star Trek : First Contact', when Picard shows Lilly she is orbiting Earth, Australia and Papua New Guinea are clearly visible... but New Zealand is missing.
Cheryl Ladd (of Charlie's Angels fame) played the voice, both talking and singing, of Josie in the 70s Saturday morning cartoon Josie and the Pussycats.
More than 150,000 feet (28+ miles) of film was used by David O. Selznick just to film the screen tests of potential actresses for the lead role of Scarlett O'Hara in his 1939 epic "Gone With the Wind".
"Cats" is based on fourteen poems of T. S. Eliot's Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats with music by Andrew Lloyd Webber.
The original production of "Cats" opened at the New London Theatre, in the West End on May 11, 1981. Eight years later it celebrated both its birthday and another important milestone: it had become, after 3358 performances, the longest running musical in the history of the British theatre.
On Thursday, June 19, 1997, "Cats" became the longest running show in the history of Broadway. With the 6138th performance "Cats" passed "A Chorus Line" which staged the last production in April 1990.
"Cats" closed at the Winter Garden Theatre on 25 June, 2000.
The concept of a countdown before a rocket launch originated as a tension-building device in the 1929 movie "The Woman on the Moon".
Bambi was originally published in 1929 in German.
The first crime mentioned in the first episode of 'Hill Street Blues' was armed robbery.
Jean-Claude Van Damme was the alien in the original PREDATOR in almost all the jumping and climbing scenes.
Breath, by Samuel Beckett, was first performed in April, 1970. The play lasts thirty seconds, has no actors, and no dialogue.
Before Mickey Mouse, Felix the Cat was the most popular cartoon character.
Casey Kasem is the voice of Shaggy on Scooby-Doo.
In the movie "Toy Story", the carpet designs in Sid's hallway is the same as the carpet designs in "The Shining."
The name of the 'Love Boat' was the 'Pacific Princess'.
In the movie "Speed" (1994) Twelve buses were used, including two which exploded; one for the freeway jump; one for high-speed scenes; and one used solely for 'under bus' shots.
The Peanuts were first animated in 1957 for a Ford Fairlane automobile commercial.
If you pause Saturday Night Fever at the "How Deep Is Your Love" rehearsal scene, you will see the camera crew reflected in the dance hall mirror.
When Walt Disney Productions released Return to Oz in (1985), it represented the longest time span that had ever occurred between the original and the remake of a film.
Skull island is the jungle home of King Kong.
At one time, the line "Let's get outta here" had been used in 84% of Hollywood movie productions.
The largest outdoor film set ever built was the Roman Forum used in The Fall of The Roman Empire (1964). It was 1,312 feet long by 754 feet wide, took 1,100 workers seven months to construct, and rose some 260 feet in the air.
The largest indoor film set ever built was the landing site for the UFO in Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977). Constructed inside a 10 million cubic foot hangar in Mobile, Alabama. it was 450 feet long by 250 feet wide and was 90 feet tall.
Charlie Chaplin once reshot a scene in City Lights (1931) some 342 times before he felt he had gotten it right. In Some Like It Hot (1959), Marilyn Monroe required 59 takes on a scene in which her only line was "Where's the Bourbon?" Similarly, Stanley Kubrick required Shelley Duval to redo a scene 127 times in The Shining (1980).
The identification number of the Starship Enterprise is NCC-1701.
The most common telephone exchange number on television is 555.
Batman and Robin live in Gotham City.
Bill Cosby created Fat Albert and Weird Harold.
An anchor is tattooed on Popeye's arm.
Mr. Spock was second in command of the Starship Enterprise.
Mr. Munster's first name is Herman.
The 1st time the "f-word" was spoken in a movie was by Marianne Faithfull in the 1968 film, "I'll Never Forget Whatshisname." In Brian De Palma's 1984 movie, "Scarface," the word is spoken 206 times - an average of once every 29 seconds.
Screenwriter Joe Ezterhas was paid $3 million for his script, Basic Instinct, the highest amount ever paid to a screenwriter.
John Hughes wrote the script for Wierd Science (1984) in two days. He wrote The Breakfast Club (1984) in three days, and National Lampoon's Vacation (1983) in four days.
Sherlock Holmes is the most portrayed character on film, having been played by 72 actors in 204 films. The historical character most represented in films is Napoleon Bonaparte, with 194 film portrayals. Abraham Lincoln is the U.S. President to be portrayed most on film, with 136 films featuring actors playing the role.
The first James Bond movie was "Dr. No."
MASH stood for "Mobile Army Surgical Hospital."
Felix Leiter is James Bond's CIA contact.
The movie Cleopatra cost $28 million to make in 1963.
TV's top rated series from 1957 to 1961 was Gunsmoke.
The name of Popeye's adopted son is Swee'pea.
According to the folks at Disney - there are 6,469,952 spots painted on dogs in the original 101 Dalmatians.
Composer Richard Wagner was known to dress in historical costumes while writing his operas. He wasn't the only composer with quirks: Christopher Gluck would only write while seated in the middle of a field. And Gioacchino Rossini reportedly could only find inspiration by getting profoundly drunk.
The characters in "The Addams Family" did not have names in the "New Yorker" cartoons; Charles Addams created their names when the television series in the 1960s was developed.
The most-published playwright is Shakespeare. The second is Neil Simon. It's sort of hard to believe (at least for this writer) that Simon follows Shakespeare in terms of published works, but he does. Simon has produced more than 16 plays, including some that you've probably heard of, such as "The Odd Couple" and "Brighton Beach Memoirs." Sixteen plays doesn't sound like a lot, but Simon has done a few other things as well. He's written 18 books and 12 screenplays.
The 1997 Jack Nicholson film - "As Good As It Gets", is known in China as "Mr. Cat Poop".
Steve Martin's first movie was 'The Jerk'.
Smithee is a pseudonym that filmmakers use when they don't want their names to appear in the credits.
Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?
Crazy but True
| As Good as It Gets |
How many teaspoons are there in a cup? | Jack Nicholson Celebrity Profile, News, Gossip & Photos - AskMen
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Jack Nicholson
Jack Nicholson
Jack Nicholson has been an actor for decades and throughout his storied career, he has become an undisputed screen icon. Nicholson has literally won dozens of awards, including Oscars for his roles in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, Terms of Endearment and As Good As It Gets. He also played memorable parts in scores of acclaimed films, from Easy Rider to his most recent hit, About Schmidt.
Appeal
Nicholson's irascible charm, so evident beneath his characterizations, makes him fascinating to watch in any film he's in. That same charm undoubtedly translates into success with the fairer sex.
And sure enough -- although 5'9" and balding for over 30 years -- Nicholson still has no trouble finding the ladies. Recent squeezes, like actresses Rebecca Broussard and Lara Flynn Boyle, tend to have ages that equal Nicholson's only in combination. Although an early marriage failed, Nicholson's 17-year relationship with Anjelica Huston shows that he's not averse to less official commitments.
Success
With three Oscars, five Golden Globes and many other acting accolades, Jack Nicholson has reached the height of professional achievement. Not only that, but he has appeared in a number of modern culture-defining films, including Chinatown, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, The Shining, and Batman. In these and other films, Nicholson has created characters -- such as J.J. (Jake) Gittes, Randle P. McMurphy, Jack Torrance, the Joker, and As Good As It Gets' Melvin Udall -- that still reverberate with audiences today.
Other notable roles for Nicholson came in the form of 1970's Five Easy Pieces, 1973's The Last Detail, 1981's Reds, 1985's Prizzi's Honor, 1987's The Witches of Eastwick and Broadcast News, 1992's A Few Good Men, and 1996's Mars Attacks!. Nicholson's contribution to modern cinema is so great that in 1994, he was honored with an American Film Institute Lifetime Achievement Award. In retrospect, this award was premature because since then, Nicholson won his third Oscar for As Good As It Gets, and shows no signs of quitting anytime soon.
As might be expected from such accomplishments, Nicholson is the subject of numerous imitators. Jack Nicholson impressions are a standard among stand-up comedians, and even some actors such as Christian Slater have mimicked his peculiar style of delivery. The best part is, he is notorious for enjoying such imitations and apparently loves it when Billy Crystal incorporates him into the Oscar telecast.
Jack Nicholson Biography
Jack Nicholson was born John Joseph Nicholson on April 22, 1937, in Neptune, New Jersey. Nicholson's middle-class childhood was unusual and unfortunate. He never knew his father; instead, he was raised by his grandparents, John (an alcoholic) and Ethel May Nicholson, believing that they were his parents. He was told his mother, June, and his aunt Lorraine, were his older sisters. Nicholson only learned the truth in 1974, when a Time magazine reporter, writing a story on the then-rising star, uncovered the facts.
After graduating from Manasquan High School in New Jersey, the young Nicholson set out to make a name for himself in the movies. Starting out as a messenger for the cartoon department at MGM, Nicholson played bit parts in many movies throughout the 1960s. He appeared in Roger Corman films like 1960's The Little Shop of Horrors, and 1963's The Terror and The Raven. He later starred in 1964's Flight to Fury, which he also wrote, and 1967's acclaimed film The Shooting. During this time, Nicholson married and divorced Sandra Knight, with whom he has a daughter, Jennifer.
success and recognition
Jack Nicholson's career began to pick up momentum after his turn in 1969's Easy Rider, alongside Peter Fonda and Dennis Hopper. He next starred in 1970's Five Easy Pieces as a troubled pianist-turned-oil-driller, and his complex portrayal garnered much acclaim. In 1973, Nicholson starred in The Last Detail, and won the Best Actor award at the 1974 Cannes Film Festival. Next came the lead in Roman Polanski's neo-noir classic Chinatown, which earned him a British Academy Award and a Golden Globe, as well as an Oscar nomination. On the personal front, he began a 17-year relationship with actress Anjelica Huston.
In 1975, all doubt as to Nicholson's success vanished when he took home the Oscar for Best Actor for his performance as Randle McMurphy in Milos Forman's One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. For many an actor, an Academy Award is a career peak, but for Nicholson, this Oscar was only the beginning of achievements that have yet to let up. Later, visionary filmmaker Stanley Kubrick -- an admirer of Nicholson's acting style -- cast him in his atmospheric version of 1980's The Shining. While the character of McMurphy simply feigned craziness, Nicholson's portrayal of Jack Torrance practically redefined crazy.
laughing all the way to the bank
After being named Best Supporting Actor by the National Board of Review for 1981's Reds, Nicholson's next big win was the Best Supporting Actor Oscar for his portrayal of an aging astronaut in 1983's Terms of Endearment. He won awards for his work in 1985's Prizzi's Honor (co-starring then-girlfriend Anjelica Huston) and 1987's Ironweed; played the devil in 1987's The Witches of Eastwick; and took an uncredited role in Broadcast News that same year. For his turn as the Joker in Tim Burton's Batman, Nicholson demanded top billing and a cut of the merchandising profits, then made millions when Batman became the top movie of 1989.
here's jack!
Nicholson's pace didn't slow down in the 1990s. Though he broke up with Anjelica Huston, he met Rebecca Broussard, and had two children with her, Lorraine and Raymond. Meanwhile, Nicholson reprised his role of Jake Gittes and directed 1990's The Two Jakes, a sequel to Chinatown. In 1992, he delivered another powerhouse, award-winning performance in A Few Good Men, and in 1996, he reunited with director Tim Burton, playing two roles in Mars Attacks!. The next year, Nicholson picked up another Best Actor Oscar, for his role in As Good As It Gets (known in China as Mr. Cat Poop).
In 1999, Nicholson began a relationship with The Practice's Lara Flynn Boyle , which has since been off and on. After three Academy Awards and scores of prestigious awards, Nicholson shows no signs of quitting: His latest film, About Schmidt , also starring Kathy Bates , has already earned him a Best Actor award from the Los Angeles Film Critics Association.
Anger Management, in which he co-stars with Adam Sandler, is scheduled to be released in 2003.
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What are the main four blood groups? | Blood groups - NHS Choices
Blood groups
Blood groups
Introduction
There are four main blood groups (types of blood): A, B, AB and O. Your blood group is determined by the genes you inherit from your parents.
Each group can be either RhD positive or RhD negative, which means your blood group can be one of the eight types shown below (see the Rh system ).
What is blood?
Your body carries around four to six litres (7 to 10.5 pints) of blood. Blood is made up of red blood cells, white blood cells and platelets in a liquid called plasma.
Plasma is about 90% water, but also contains proteins, nutrients, hormones and waste products. Blood is made up of about 60% plasma and 40% blood cells.
Each type of blood cell has a specific role to play:
red blood cells carry oxygen around the body and remove carbon dioxide and other waste products; they give blood its red colour
white blood cells are part of the immune system (the body's natural defence mechanism) and help fight infection
platelets help the blood clot (thicken) to stop bleeding
Antigens and antibodies
Your blood group is identified by antigens and antibodies in the blood. Antibodies are part of your body's natural defences against invading substances such as germs.
Antigens are protein molecules found on the surface of red blood cells. Antibodies are proteins found in plasma. Antibodies recognise anything foreign in your body and alert your immune system to destroy it.
The ABO system
There are four main blood groups defined by the ABO system:
blood group A has A antigens on the red blood cells with anti-B antibodies in the plasma
blood group B has B antigens with anti-A antibodies in the plasma
blood group O has no antigens, but both anti-A and anti-B antibodies in the plasma
blood group AB has both A and B antigens, but no antibodies
Almost half (48%) of the UK population has blood group O, making this the most common blood group.
Receiving blood from the wrong ABO group can be life threatening. For example, the anti-A antibodies in a recipient with group B blood will attack the group A cells if transfused to them. This is why group A blood must never be given to a group B person.
As group O red blood cells don't have any A or B antigens, it can safely be given to any other group.
| b ab and o |
The average person grows how many inches of hair each year? 6, 10 or 15? | Blood Types
Blood Types
About 5 million Americans need blood transfusions every year, for all sorts of reasons. Sometimes, a transfusion is an emergency (like losing blood after an accident). Sometimes it's expected (as with treatment for cancer).
Whatever the reason, blood transfusions are one of the most common hospital procedures.
While transfusions are common, there's a lot more to them than just taking blood from one person and using it to help someone else. It's very important to keep the blood supply safe. So, each unit of blood goes through many tests to check for infectious diseases and establish the blood type.
Four Blood Groups...
It might seem like blood is blood — it all looks pretty much the same to the naked eye. But although all blood contains the same basic components (red cells, white cells, platelets, and plasma), not everyone has the same types of markers on the surface of their red blood cells. These markers (also called antigens) are proteins and sugars that our bodies use to identify the blood cells as belonging in our own system.
Blood cell markers are microscopic. But they can make the difference between blood being accepted or rejected after a transfusion. So medical experts group blood into types based on the different markers.
The four main blood groups are:
Type A. This blood type has a marker known as "A."
Type B. This blood type has a marker known as "B."
Type AB. The blood cells in this type have both A and B markers.
Type O. This blood type has neither A or B markers.
Plus Rh Factor...
Some people have an additional marker, called Rh factor, in their blood. Because each of the four main blood groups (A, B, AB, and O) may or may not have Rh factor, scientists further classify blood as either "positive" (meaning it has Rh factor) or "negative" (without Rh factor).
Having any of these markers (or none of them) doesn't make a person's blood any healthier or stronger. It's just a genetic difference, like having green eyes instead of blue or straight hair instead of curly.
...Make Eight Blood Types
The different markers that can be found in blood make up eight possible blood types:
O negative. This blood type doesn't have A or B markers, and it doesn't have Rh factor.
O positive. This blood type doesn't have A or B markers, but it does have Rh factor. O positive blood is one of the two most common blood types (the other being A positive).
A negative. This blood type has A marker only.
A positive. This blood type has A marker and Rh factor, but not B marker. Along with O positive, it's one of the two most common blood types.
B negative. This blood type has B marker only.
B positive. This blood type has B marker and Rh factor, but not A marker.
AB negative. This blood type has A and B markers, but not Rh factor.
AB positive. This blood type has all three types of markers — A, B, and Rh factor.
Blood banks and hospitals keep careful tabs on blood type to be sure that donated blood matches the blood type of the person receiving the transfusion. Giving someone the wrong blood type can cause serious health problems.
Why Blood Type Matters
The immune system produces proteins known as antibodies that act as protectors if foreign cells enter the body. Depending on which blood type you have, your immune system will produce antibodies to react against other blood types.
If a patient is given the wrong blood type, the antibodies immediately set out to destroy the invading cells. This aggressive, whole-body response can give someone a fever, chills, and low blood pressure. It can even lead vital body systems — like breathing or kidneys — to fail.
Here's an example of how the blood type-antibody process works: Let's say you have Type A blood. Because your blood contains the A marker, it produces B antibodies. If B markers (found in Type B or AB blood) enter your body, your Type A immune system gets fired up against them. That means you can only get a transfusion from someone with A or O blood, not from someone with B or AB blood.
In the same way, if you have the B marker, your body produces A antibodies. So as a person with Type B blood, you could get a transfusion from someone with B or O blood, but not A or AB.
Things are a little different for people with Type AB or Type O blood. If you have both A and B markers on the surface of your cells (Type AB blood), your body does not need to fight the presence of either. This means that someone with AB blood can get a transfusion from someone with A, B, AB, or O blood.
But if you have Type O blood, meaning your red blood cells have neither A or B markers, your body will have both A and B antibodies and will therefore feel the need to defend itself against A, B, and AB blood. So a person with O blood can only get a transfusion with O blood.
Type O-negative blood can be given to people with any blood type. That's because it has none of the markers that can set off a reaction. People with this blood type are considered "universal donors" and are in great demand at blood banks.
Because Type AB-positive blood has all the markers, people with this type can receive any blood type. They're called "universal recipients."
Blood transfusions are one of the most frequent lifesaving procedures hospitals perform. So there's always a need for blood donors. About 15% of blood donors are high school and college students — an impressive number when you consider you have to be 16 or 17 to donate blood.
If you'd like to help, learn more about blood donation . It's one way to be an everyday superhero and save lives!
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In degrees centigrade, what is the normal body temperature? | 37 Celsius - Body temperature chart | F to C
37 Celsius
Search for:
37 Celsius: Body temperature measurement and unit conversions
37 °C is a value that one encounters probably more often than any other temperature reading. If you are used to the Celsius scale, you recognize it immediately. Indeed, a normal body temperature of a healthy person is in the vicinity of 37 degrees Celsius, which makes this value so special and important. For the Fahrenheit folks, you may know it as 98.6 °F (as you can easily verify using our online converter ).
It is important to realize however that the 37 Celsius (or 98.6 Fahrenheit) value is essentially an averaged benchmark. What is "normal" depends on various factors, both objective and subjective. At least some of those factors should be taken into account when reaching conclusions about whether one's body temperature is normal.
Some objective factors affecting our body temperature include the time of day (with the lowest temperature in the morning and the highest typically around mid-afternoon), recent exercise (you get hot after a long run for instance), a recent meal, warm and/or alcoholic drinks, etc. All of these aspects can easily make one's temperature fluctuate within one or two degrees.
There are also subjective factors, such as the way body temperature is being measured, the instrument (thermometer) type being used, etc. For example, oral and under the arm readings commonly differ (oral being higher), and fast digital thermometer readings may not always be as accurate as longer liquid column thermometer measurements.
Digital thermometer
Liquid column thermometer
To summarize, the message we would like you to keep in mind is that the "normal body temperature" is more of a range rather than a well-defined number, and it should be relied on with reasonable flexibility. We wish you to stay healthy, and in cases when you do need to take a measurement and the only thermometer you have is not marked in the units you like, here is a chart that should help.
°C
| 37 |
The condition of seasonal allergic rhinitis is better known by what name? | What is normal body temperature? Is my body temperature normal?
Normal body temperature
Is there a normal body temperature?
Most people think of 'normal' body temperature as 37C (98.6F), measured using a thermometer in the mouth .
However, the concept of there being a normal body temperature is somewhat misleading. In fact normal body temperature can vary according to a wide range of factors including a person's age, the time of day and whether someone is active or not.
The 'normal' benchmark for body temperature was established by a 19th century German physician called Dr Carl Wunderlich. He is credited with taking temperature readings from thousands of patients, which led him to propose that 37C was normal body temperature.
So, what is normal body temperature?
Some studies have disputed Dr Wunderlich's findings. For instance, a 1992 evaluation of his work in the US, and based on 148 participants, found that 36.8C was a more accurate figure.
Normal body temperature also depends on where the temperature reading is taken. For instance, a reading from the armpit will be about 0.5C lower than the body's core temperature.
Research from Winthrop University in the US published in 2006 found that older people have lower temperatures and that, even when ill, their bodies may never reach temperatures that would be regarded as fever.
The NHS says that a normal temperature is around 37C (98.6F), although it depends on:
The person
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By what name is the trachea more commonly known? | The Trachea (Human Anatomy): Picture, Function, Conditions, and More
Human Anatomy
Picture of the Trachea
© 2014 WebMD, LLC. All rights reserved.
The trachea, commonly known as the windpipe, is a tube about 4 inches long and less than an inch in diameter in most people. The trachea begins just under the larynx (voice box) and runs down behind the breastbone (sternum). The trachea then divides into two smaller tubes called bronchi: one bronchus for each lung.
The trachea is composed of about 20 rings of tough cartilage. The back part of each ring is made of muscle and connective tissue. Moist, smooth tissue called mucosa lines the inside of the trachea. The trachea widens and lengthens slightly with each breath in, returning to its resting size with each breath out.
Trachea Conditions
Tracheal stenosis: Inflammation in the trachea can lead to scarring and narrowing of the windpipe. Surgery or endoscopy may be needed to correct the narrowing (stenosis), if severe.
Tracheoesophageal fistula : An abnormal channel forms to connect the trachea and the esophagus. Passage of swallowed food from the esophagus into the trachea causes serious lung problems.
Tracheal foreign body: An object is inhaled (aspirated) and lodges in the trachea or one of its branches. A procedure called bronchoscopy is usually needed to remove a foreign body from the trachea.
Tracheal cancer: Cancer of the trachea is quite rare. Symptoms can include coughing or difficulty breathing.
Tracheomalacia: The trachea is soft and floppy rather than rigid, usually due to a birth defect. In adults, tracheomalacia is generally caused by injury or by smoking.
Tracheal obstruction: A tumor or other growth can compress and narrow the trachea, causing difficulty breathing. A stent or surgery is needed to open the trachea and improve breathing.
Trachea Tests
Flexible bronchoscopy : An endoscope (flexible tube with a lighted camera on its end) is passed through the nose or mouth into the trachea. Using bronchoscopy, a doctor can examine the trachea and its branches.
Rigid bronchoscopy : A rigid metal tube is introduced through the mouth into the trachea. Rigid bronchoscopy is often more effective than flexible bronchoscopy, but it requires deep anesthesia.
Computed tomography ( CT scan ): A CT scanner takes a series of X-rays, and a computer creates detailed images of the trachea and nearby structures.
Magnetic resonance imaging ( MRI scan ): An MRI scanner uses radio waves in a magnetic field to create images of the trachea and nearby structures.
Chest X-ray : A plain X-ray can tell if the trachea is deviated to either side of the chest. An X-ray might also identify masses or foreign bodies.
| Trachea |
What are the names given to the pits in the skin from which hairs grow out of? | Collapse of the Wind Pipe in Dogs | petMD
Collapse of the Wind Pipe in Dogs
Tracheal Collapse in Dogs
The trachea is the large tube that carries air from the nose and throat to the small airways (bronchi) that go to the lungs. Collapse of the trachea occurs when there is a narrowing of the tracheal cavity (lumen) during breathing. This condition may affect the part of the trachea that is located in the neck (cervical trachea), or the lower part of the trachea, located in the chest (intrathoracic trachea).
Though tracheal collapse can occur in dogs of any age or breed, it appears to be more common in Miniature poodles, Yorkshire terriers, Chihuahuas, Pomeranians, and other small and toy breeds.
Symptoms and Types
Symptoms of tracheal abnormalities seem to be aggravated by heat, excitement, exercise or obesity. The following symptoms are commonly observed in affected animals:
Unproductive efforts to vomit (retching)
Abnormally rapid breathing
Inabiity to perform routine exercises
Bluish colored membranes
Chronic disease involving the airways
More common in obese or in those animals dealing with respiratory infection or airway obstruction
Diagnosis
You will need to give a thorough history of your dog’s health, including a background history of symptoms. After taking a detailed history, your veterinarian will conduct a complete physical examination on your dog. The routine laboratory tests will include a complete blood count (CBC), biochemistry profile, and urinalysis. The results of the complete blood count may show an abnormally high number of white blood cells (WBCs), indicative of infection.
Diagnostic imaging is an essential part of the diagnostic process, since the lungs and trachea will need to be examined as completely as possible. Chest X-ray remains a valuable tool, and may reveal a collapsed trachea as well as to help your veterinarian find the location of collapse. In some cases, enlargement of the right side of the heart may also be found.
Fluoroscopy, another advanced diagnostic technique, but one which can provide real time, active images of the internal body, may also be used for your dog. Fluoroscopy works by using an X-ray device placed in front of a fluorescent screen, with the patient on the other side of the screen, so that the physician can see the internal structure in motion, allowing for a more refined image and a more accurate assessment and diagnosis.
Your veterinarian may also take a tissue sample from the inside of the trachea for laboratory testing. This sample will be used to grow the bacteria in the tissue in order to determine if there is any harmful bacteria present in the tracheal tube, and conduct culture testing to see the types of cells that are present in the sample.
In order to grade the severity of the collapse, another technique called bronchoscopy can also be used. In this procedure, the bronchoscope, a tubular instrument with a camera attached, is threaded into the trachea and the images are retrieved and relayed onto video equipment where they can be reviewed and assessed in the process of making the diagnosis. Bronchoscopy is a more invasive method than the standard X-rays, but it can give a much more detailed view of the various abnormalities present in the tracheal tube, including foreign bodies, bleeding, inflammation, or tumors inside the airways. Bronchoscopy can also allow for estimating the degree of narrowing in the trachea, which may range from a grade-1 to grade-6 degree, measured on the basis of increasing severity. The bronchoscope can even be used to collect tissue and fluid samples from deeper within the tracheal canal for laboratory testing.
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Where in the body would you find the cochlea and the stirrup? | What is the function of the stirrup in the human body? | Socratic
What is the function of the stirrup in the human body?
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Jun 22, 2016
Answer:
The stirrup or Stapes is actually one of the ear bones or ossicles, along with the Incus (the anvil) and the Malleus (the hammer).
Explanation:
The stirrup or Stapes is actually one of the ear bones or ossicles, along with the Incus (the anvil) and the Malleus (the hammer).
These three bones vibrate to transfer sound waves from the tympanic membrane (eardrum) to the fluids in the cochlea or inner ear.
| Ear |
How many bones are there in a normal human hand? | Eye and Ear Structures
Ear Structure
anvil - (also called the incus) a tiny bone that passes vibrations from the hammer to the stirrup.
cochlea - a spiral-shaped, fluid-filled inner ear structure; it is lined with cilia (tiny hairs) that move when vibrated and cause a nerve impulse to form.
eardrum - (also called the tympanic membrane) a thin membrane that vibrates when sound waves reach it.
Eustachian tube - a tube that connects the middle ear to the back of the nose; it equalizes the pressure between the middle ear and the air outside. When you "pop" your ears as you change altitude (going up a mountain or in an airplane), you are equalizing the air pressure in your middle ear.
hammer - (also called the malleus) a tiny bone that passes vibrations from the eardrum to the anvil.
nerves - these carry electro-chemical signals from the inner ear (the cochlea) to the brain.
outer ear canal - the tube through which sound travels to the eardrum.
pinna - (also called the auricle) the visible part of the outer ear. It collects sound and directs it into the outer ear canal
semicircular canals - three loops of fluid-filled tubes that are attached to the cochlea in the inner ear. They help us maintain our sense of balance.
stirrup - (also called the stapes) a tiny, U-shaped bone that passes vibrations from the stirrup to the cochlea. This is the smallest bone in the human body (it is 0.25 to 0.33 cm long).
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Which 1959 film won 11 Oscars? | 1959 Academy Awards® Winners and History
Room at the Top (1959, UK)
Actor:
CHARLTON HESTON in
"Ben-Hur" , Laurence Harvey in "Room at the Top", Jack Lemmon in
"Some Like It Hot" , Paul Muni in "The Last Angry Man", James Stewart in "Anatomy of a Murder"
Actress:
SIMONE SIGNORET in "Room at the Top", Doris Day in "Pillow Talk", Audrey Hepburn in "The Nun's Story", Katharine Hepburn in "Suddenly, Last Summer" , Elizabeth Taylor in "Suddenly, Last Summer"
Supporting Actor:
HUGH GRIFFITH in
"Ben-Hur" , Arthur O'Connell in "Anatomy of a Murder", George C. Scott in "Anatomy of a Murder", Robert Vaughn in "The Young Philadelphians", Ed Wynn in "The Diary of Anne Frank"
Supporting Actress:
SHELLEY WINTERS in "The Diary of Anne Frank", Hermione Baddeley in "Room at the Top", Susan Kohner in "Imitation of Life", Juanita Moore in "Imitation of Life", Thelma Ritter in "Pillow Talk"
Director:
WILLIAM WYLER for
"Ben-Hur" , Jack Clayton for "Room at the Top", George Stevens for "The Diary of Anne Frank", Billy Wilder for
"Some Like It Hot" , Fred Zinnemann for "The Nun's Story"
MGM's (producer Sam Zimbalist) and director William Wyler's three and a half-hour long epic drama
Ben-Hur (with a spectacular sea battle and eleven minute chariot race choreographed by Yakima Canutt) broke the previous year's all-time record of Gigi (1958). It was the most-honored motion picture in Academy Awards history up to that time and for many years - until 1997, with its record-breaking eleven Oscars from twelve nominations. And it was the most expensive film of its time, budgeted at $15 million.
Ben-Hur was a re-make of MGM's own 1926 silent film of the same name, and the first and only re-make to have won the Best Picture award. Both films were based on or inspired by General Lew Wallace's novel (first published in 1880) about the rise of Christianity. Ironically, the famed director Cecil B. DeMille, who had made 'Ben-Hur-like' films throughout his lifetime - without the same awards success as the 1959 winner, died the same year (on January 21, 1959).
The awards for the Best Picture film covered the following categories: Best Picture, Best Actor (Charlton Heston), Best Supporting Actor (Hugh Griffith), Best Director, Best Cinematography, Best Art Direction, Best Sound, Best Musical Score, Best Film Editing, Best Special Effects, and Best Costume Design. It lost out on only a single nomination, for Best Screenplay credited to Karl Tunberg (although other writers included Maxwell Anderson, S.N. Behrman, Christopher Frye, and Gore Vidal). [The Best Screenplay Oscar was won by Neil Paterson for his intelligent script for Room at the Top.]
The Best Picture's competition came from less sweeping dramas:
director Otto Preminger's Anatomy of a Murder (with seven nominations and no wins), a sensational small-town trial and courtroom drama regarding the suspected rape of an Army lieutenant's wife
director George Stevens' The Diary of Anne Frank (with eight nominations and three wins - Best Supporting Actress, Best B/W Cinematography, and Best B/W Art Direction/Set Decoration), the overproduced story of the hiding of the Frank family in cramped conditions during the Nazi occupation
Fred Zinnemann's religious melodrama taken from Kathryn Hulme's novel, The Nun's Story (with eight nominations and no wins), about a free-spirited young nun who worked in the Congo and Belgium during WWII
director Jack Clayton's acclaimed and sensational British film Room at the Top (with six nominations and two wins - Best Actress and Best Screenplay), about the romance between a Yorkshire milltown worker and an older, unhappily married woman
Four of the five Best Picture nominees were also Best Director-nominated. Billy Wilder's signature film
Some Like It Hot (with six nominations and one win - Best B/W Costume Design) about two unemployed musicians who disguise themselves as women in an all-girl band to escape gangsters, supplanted Best Picture-nominated Anatomy of a Murder as the fifth director-nominated film.
Three stars of the socially-realistic, sexually-frank British-made film Room at the Top were nominated for acting awards:
Laurence Harvey (with his sole nomination) as Best Actor for his performance as Joe Lampton - an ambitious, ruthless, working-class anti-hero and social climber engaged in a cruel affair - his most well-known film role
British actress Hermione Baddeley (with her sole nomination) was nominated for Best Supporting Actress as music-teacher Elspeth (Simone Signoret's knowing friend).
French actress Simone Signoret (with her first of two career nominations - and sole Oscar win) won the Best Actress award for her role as older married woman Alice Aisgill - the sexy, soon-abandoned, and suffering tragic mistress of a cynical, exploitative young opportunist (Laurence Harvey)
Signoret was the first actress to ever receive an Oscar for a performance in a British or foreign-made film (a non-Hollywood film). [The second French actress to be an Oscar winner was Juliette Binoche for her supporting role in The English Patient (1996).]
The Best Actor winner was Charlton Heston in the title role of
Ben-Hur as Judah Ben-Hur - a rich patrician Jew who is denounced as a traitor by former childhood friend and Roman commander Messala (Stephen Boyd) and sentenced to life as a Roman galley slave, while his mother and sister are sent to a leper colony. Reprieved after saving the life of a Roman commander, Ben-Hur returns to seek bitter revenge in the chariot race. It was Heston's only nomination and sole win in his long, distinguished film career in which he usually portrayed historical characters. Heston's win marked the first time a performer received an Oscar for a Biblical film role, possibly the result of block voting for the Best Picture winner.
Other Best Actor nominees included:
the category's favorite - Jack Lemmon (with his second of eight career nominations) as Jerry/Daphne - a bass-playing musician-on-the-run in drag - one of his funniest and best roles - in director Billy Wilder's
Some Like It Hot
Paul Muni (with his fifth and last career nomination) in his last performance as Dr. Sam Abelman - a Brooklyn Jewish doctor who selflessly helps the poor in director Daniel Mann's The Last Angry Man (with two nominations and no wins)
James Stewart (with his fifth and last career nomination) as the small-town defense attorney Paul Biegler in Anatomy of a Murder - noted for its long trial scenes as he defends white Army lieutenant (Ben Gazzara) accused of murdering a black tavern owner for allegedly raping his wife (Lee Remick)
Laurence Harvey - see above
The four nominees who lost the Best Actress Award to Simone Signoret included two Hepburns:
Audrey Hepburn (with her third of five career nominations) as Sister Luke who eventually renounces her vows in The Nun's Story
Katharine Hepburn (with her eighth of twelve career nominations) as an insane, wealthy dowager Mrs. Venable who wishes that doctor Montgomery Clift would perform a lobotomy on her niece (co-star Elizabeth Taylor) in Gore Vidal's adaptation of Tennessee Williams' play by director Joseph L. Mankiewicz, Suddenly, Last Summer (with three nominations and no wins)
Elizabeth Taylor (with her third of four consecutive nominations) as Hepburn's mentally-disturbed niece Catherine Holly in Suddenly, Last Summer
Doris Day (with her sole career nomination!) as Jan Morrow - a 'virgin' who shares a telephone party line with Rock Hudson in the romantic comedy by director Michael Gordon, Pillow Talk (with five nominations and one win - Best Story/Screenplay) - this was the first teaming of the two comedy stars in the popular series of films
Two co-stars playing lawyers in Anatomy of a Murder received Best Supporting Actor nominations:
George C. Scott (with his first of four career nominations) as Claude Dancer - a slick, cynical prosecuting attorney
Arthur O'Connell (with his second and last unsuccessful career nomination) as Parnell McCarthy - an alcoholic lawyer (co-star James Stewart's assistant)
In addition, there were two others:
Robert Vaughn (with his sole career nomination) was nominated for his role as Korean war veteran Chet Gwynn who is charged with murder and defended by an ambitious young Philadelphian lawyer (co-star Paul Newman) in director Victor Sherman's The Young Philadelphians (with three nominations and no wins)
Ed Wynn (with his sole career nomination) for his performance as Albert Dussell - a dentist in hiding with the Franks in The Diary of Anne Frank
In a surprise upset (Scott had a much superior performance), Welshman Hugh Griffith (with his first of two career nominations - and his sole Oscar win) won the Best Supporting Actor Oscar as colorful horse-training Arab Sheik Ilderim in
Ben-Hur - his first American-made film. [It would be another 44 years until another film would win both Best Actor and Best Supporting Actor Oscars - Mystic River (2003).]
Two co-stars in Douglas Sirk's Imitation of Life (with two nominations and no wins), a re-make of the 1934 film starring Claudette Colbert and film adaptation of Fannie Hurst's romantic novel - a weepy melodrama with Lana Turner, were nominated for Best Supporting Actress:
Juanita Moore (with her sole nomination) as Annie Johnson - Lana Turner's self-sacrificing black maid
twenty-three year old Susan Kohner (with her sole nomination) as Sarah Jane Johnson - Moore's light-skinned black daughter. [Kohner was the daughter of Mexican actress Lupita Tovar.]
also, Thelma Ritter (with her fifth of six unsuccessful career nominations) was nominated for her role as Doris Day's imbibing housekeeper Alma in Pillow Talk
The winner in the Best Supporting Actress category was Shelley Winters (with her second nomination - and first Oscar win) as Mrs. Van Daan in director George Stevens' The Diary of Anne Frank - an indomitable mother, and one of the Jews hiding out from the Nazis with the Frank family in a cramped attic in Amsterdam. It was the first of Winters' mature, serious character roles. [Winters' first nomination was for a role in another Stevens film - A Place in the Sun (1951) . In 1965, she starred in her third Stevens film, The Greatest Story Ever Told, but won a nomination - and her second Oscar - for a role in director Guy Green's film A Patch of Blue (1965).]
An Honorary Oscar, a bittersweet recognition, was awarded to the under-appreciated Buster Keaton, one of the silent screen's greatest comedic characters, who was known as 'The Great Stone Face.' His award was for "his unique talents which brought immortal comedies to the screen," such as Sherlock, Jr. (1924), The Navigator (1924),
The General (1927) , Steamboat Bill, Jr. (1928) , and The Cameraman (1928).
Oscar Anomalies:
Francois Truffaut's "French New Wave" film and first feature film, the semi-autobiographical The 400 Blows (Fr.) (aka Les Quatre Cents Coups) received only a single Best Writing: Original Story and Screenplay nomination, but no nomination in the Foreign Language Film category (won by Black Orpheus). And Jean-Pierre Leaud's performance was snubbed as frustrated 12 year-old Parisian schoolboy and juvenile offender Antoine Doinel who was placed in a detention work camp - the film was famous for the ending (with a zoom and freeze-framed shot) in which the boy fled toward the beach and seashore. Similarly, Swedish director Ingmar Bergman's Wild Strawberries received only one nomination for Best Writing: Story and Screenplay. Unbelievably, both films lost their sole nominations to Pillow Talk.
Oscar Snubs and Omissions:
Because of the sweep by
Ben-Hur , many other films were bypassed, including Hitchcock (again!), for another MGM film - the definitive caper film
North By Northwest . Although the film had three minor nominations, it was ignored in the Best Picture, Best Director, and all acting categories. Cary Grant, playing a debonair Roger Thornhill - a Manhattan ad executive and the victim of mistaken identity (believed to be a secret agent), the cool Eva Marie Saint, villain James Mason, Jessie Royce Landis in a supporting role as Grant's mother Clara, and the score by Bernard Herrmann were seriously ignored by the Academy.
Stephen Boyd deserved a Best Actor or Supporting Actor nomination for his role as Messala (when compared to Hugh Griffith's nomination/win as Best Supporting Actor). And Howard Hawks' outstanding Rio Bravo with John Wayne as sheriff John T. Chance, Dean Martin as Dude, and Angie Dickinson as Feathers - the director's response to
High Noon (1952) and similar in its cast composition to
Red River (1948) , received no nominations!
Single Oscar winner
Some Like It Hot (for Black and White Costume Design) received nominations for Best Actor (Jack Lemmon), Best Director (Billy Wilder), and Best Screenplay (Billy Wilder), but the nominations overlooked the following:
its Best Picture potentiality
Tony Curtis in a cross-dressing, dual role as Joe/Josephine (and often playing Cary Grant in impersonations)
Joe E. Brown as love-struck, ardent suitor and millionaire Osgood E. Fielding III
and Marilyn Monroe in her quintessential comedic role as the breathy, bourbon-swigging, sexy, ukulele-strumming singer Sugar Kane Kowalczyk in an all-girls band (memorably singing I Wanna Be Loved By You)
And Lee Remick was un-nominated for her role as slutty, allegedly-raped Laura Manion (wife of Army Lieutenant Ben Gazzara) in the oft-nominated but completely bypassed Anatomy of a Murder.
Ingmar Bergman's Wild Strawberries (1957), considered for awards in 1959, received only one unsuccessful nomination for Best Original Screenplay (Bergman). Both Bergman and Victor Sjostrom were snubbed as Best Director and Best Actor (as Professor Borg) respectively.
| Ben-Hur |
Which actor won the 1995 Best Supporting Actor Oscar and the 1999 Best Actor Oscar, currently the only two times he has been nominated? | Ben-Hur wins 11 Academy Awards - Apr 04, 1960 - HISTORY.com
Ben-Hur wins 11 Academy Awards
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Clocking in at three hours and 32 minutes, William Wyler’s Technicolor epic Ben-Hur is the behemoth entry at the 32nd annual Academy Awards ceremony, held on this day in 1960, at the RKO Pantages Theatre in Hollywood. Setting an Oscar record, the film swept 11 of the 12 categories in which it was nominated, including Best Picture, Best Director and Best Actor (Charlton Heston).
Wyler’s 1959 film was the latest dramatic adaptation of the mega-bestselling novel Ben-Hur: A Tale of the Christ, published in 1880 by Lew Wallace. Wallace, a former general in the American Civil War, wrote his most successful novel after experiencing a new awakening of his Christian faith. The book told the story of a young Jewish aristocrat, Judah Ben Hur, who chafes against the repressive Roman rule in Judea, loses his fortune and his family, but eventually triumphs over obstacles (thanks partially to the intervention of Jesus Christ).
After Wallace’s novel was adopted into a long-running stage play in 1899 and a short film in 1907, Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer bought the film rights and produced a major motion-picture version, directed by Cecil B. DeMille, in 1925. After DeMille scored a hit with a remake of his own 1923 biblical epic The Ten Commandments (1956), MGM decided to revive Ben-Hur as well. Wyler had worked on the set of DeMille’s 1925 version and the square-jawed Heston played Moses in The Ten Commandments.
Filmed on location in Italy, on a budget of some $15 million, Ben-Hur was the most expensive movie ever made up to that point. The film’s famous chariot race scene alone took three weeks to shoot and used some 15,000 extras. The setting for the race was constructed on 18 acres of back-lot space at Cinecitta Studios outside Rome. Aside from a few of the most daredevil stunts, Heston and Stephen Boyd (who played Messala, Judah Ben-Hur’s boyhood friend turned bitter enemy) did most of their own chariot driving. The payoff was big: Writing in his review of the film for the New York Times, Bosley Crowther called the scene a “stunning complex of mighty setting, thrilling action by horses and men, panoramic observation and overwhelming dramatic use of sound.”
At the 1960 Oscars, Ben-Hur swept 11 categories, including Best Picture, Best Director, Best Actor, Best Supporting Actor (Hugh Griffith, playing an Arab sheik who befriends Ben-Hur), Best Color Cinematography, Best Color Art Direction/Set Direction, Best Sound, Best Score, Best Film Editing, Best Color Costume Design and Best Special Effects. It was also nominated in the Best Adapted Screenplay category. Ben-Hur’s record number of Oscars still stands, although two films (1997’s Titanic and 2003’s The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King) have matched it.
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Who won a Best Supporting Actress Award in 1998 for a performance of less than 8 minutes of screen time? | Oscars fast facts
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Oscars fast facts
The shortest Oscar ceremony ever was the first, held in 1929; it lasted only about 15 minutes as all the winners had been announced three months earlier.
The longest Oscar awards ceremony was in 2000, running for 4 hours and 16 minutes – beating a previous record by 16 minutes.
Bob Hope has hosted the Oscars 18 times; Billy Crystal is in second place with 8 times.
Tom Hanks is the youngest recipient of the Academy’s Lifetime Achievement Award, which he received in 2002 at age 45.
Kate Winslet received four Oscar nominations before reaching the age of 30. Elizabeth Taylor received four Oscar nominations before reaching the age of 28.
Gone with the Wind, at 3 hours and 56 minutes, was the longest film to have won a Best Picture Oscar; it was also the first film in color to win Best Picture.
The 1968 movie, War and Peace, was the longest film (431 minutes) to an Academy Award – for best Foreign picture.
Julia Phillips was the first female producer to win Best Picture award, for The Sting (1973). The first female to win the Best Director award was Kathryn Bigelow for The Hurt Locker (2008).
Henry Fonda was first nominated for a Best Actor Oscar in 1941 for his role in The Grapes of Wrath but had to wait 41 years before he finally achieved a win in 1982 for his role in On Golden Pond. At 76, he is the oldest actor yet to have received the Best Actor award.
The oldest actress to win an Oscar is Jessica Tandy – at 81 she won the Best Actress Oscar in 1990 for her performance in Driving Miss Daisy.
Anthony Quinn’s performance as painter Paul Gaugin in Lust for Life (1956) is the shortest ever to win a Best Supporting Actor Academy Award, his second Oscar. He was on screen for only 8 minutes. (He won a similar award in 1952 playing opposite Marlon Brando in Elia Kazan’s Viva Zapata!)
The shortest-ever winning performance for Best Supporting Actress belongs to Beatrice Straight, who won an Oscar in 1976 for her 5 minutes 40 seconds appearance as devastated wife Louise Schumacher in Network. Dame Judi Dench won an Oscar in 1998 for less than 8 minutes of screen time playing Queen Elizabeth I in Shakespeare in Love.
The shortest-ever Best Actor Oscar-winning performance was awarded to David Niven in 1958, having appeared for only 15 minutes and 38 seconds in Separate Tables. The second-shortest winning appearance was made by Anthony Hopkins in 1992, for less than 16 minutes of screen time as Dr Hannibal “The Cannibal” Lecter in The Silence of the Lambs.
In 1948, Jane Wyman won Best Actress award without uttering a word; she played the role of a deaf -mute person in the movie Johnny Belinda. The fewest lines actually spoken by an Oscar-winning actress won Patty Duke a Best Actress in a Supporting Role portraying the deaf and blind Helen Keller in the 1962 film The Miracle Worker. In the role she speaks only one word in the last scene: “Wah-wah” (for “water”). In 1993, Holly Hunter won a Best Actress Oscar for her role as a deaf person in the movie The Piano but she narrated a few scenes and does speak (although her face is covered) in the last scene of the film.
The films with the most Oscar wins are Ben-Hur, Titanic and Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, each winning 11 Oscars from 12, 14 and 11 nominations respectively. See more in the lists of Oscar winners .
In total, the Middle-earth series (The Lord of the Rings – The Fellowship of the Ring (2001), The Two Towers (2002) and The Return of the King (2003) – and the The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey) won 17 Oscars out of 33 nominations.
William Wyler has directed more actors to Academy Award success than any other, with 34 nominations and 14 wins.
Jack Nicholson leads the Best Actor Academy Award category with wins from 11 nominations, followed by Laurence Olivier, nominated 10 times and receiving one Best Actor award, and then Spencer Tracy with nine nominations resulting in two awards.
Daniel Day-Lewis has won the most Best Actor awards, with 3 awards (1989, 2007, 2012).
Meryl Streep had more Best Actress nominations than any other actress; 14 in total, leading to 3 awards. Katharine Hepburn received 12 nominations for Best Actress and won 4 Academy Awards.
Shirley Temple is the youngest performer to receive an Academy Award; in 1934 she received a Special Award when she was only five years old.
Groucho Marx was the oldest Academy Award winner – in 1973 he received a Honorary Award at the age of 83.
The first posthumous Oscar winner was Sidney Howard, for the screenplay of Gone with the Wind.
Mutiny on The Bounty (1935) was the only film to have had three nominees for Best Actor Oscars (Charles Laughton, Clark Gable and Franchot Tone) but won only the Best Picture award.
The only tie for Best Actor was between Wallace Beery for The Champ and Fredric March for Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, in 1932.
The only films to win Best Picture and Best Song are Gigi, Going My Way and Titanic.
The first animated film to be nominated for a Best Picture Oscar was Disney’s Beauty and the Beast, in 1991. The award went to Silence of the Lambs but Beauty and the Beast won 2 Oscars: Best Original Score and Best Original Song.
In 1937 Disney won a special Oscar for the first full-length animation: “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.”
Oscar families:
Two families have three generations of Oscar winners in their ranks:
The Huston family:
Walter Huston won Best Supporting Actor for his role in The Treasure of Sierra Madre); John Huston won Best Director, The Treasure of Sierra Madre in 1948, and Anjlica Huston won Best Supporting Actress for her role in Prizzi’sHonorin 1985.
The Hustons and the Coppolas are two families where the grandfather, father and daughter won Oscars.
The Coppola family:
Carmine Coppola won Best Original Dramatic Score, The Godfather in 1974; Francis Ford Coppola won Best Original Screenplay for Patron (1970), Best Adapted Screenplay, The Godfather (1970), Best Picture, Best Director and Best Original Screenplay, The Godfather: Part II (1974), and Sofia Coppola’s Lost in Translation won for Best Original Screenplay in 2004; Nicholas Cage, Francis Ford Coppola’s nephew, won Best Actor for his role in Leaving Las Vegas, in 1995.
The Minnelli family:
Liza Minnelli is the only Oscar winner with two Oscar winning parents: her mother Judy Garland, received a honorary Oscar as Outstanding Juvenile Performer for The Wizard of Oz and her father, Vincente Minnelli, won Best Director for Best Picture, Gigi (1958).
The Epstein family:
The only twins to win Oscars are Julius J Epstein and Philip G Epstein, who shared the Best Screenplay award s with Howard Koch for Casablanca (1942).
12 actors to win an Oscar for playing a real person who was still alive at the evening of the Awards ceremony:
Patty Duke playing Helen Keller in The Miracle Worker (1962)
Spencer Tracy for playing Father Edward Flanagan in Boys Town (1938)
Gary Cooper for playing Alvin C. York in Sergeant York (1941)
Jason Robards for playing Benjamin Bradlee in All the President’s Men (1976)
Robert De Niro for playing Jake La Motta in Raging Bull (1980)
Sissy Spacek for playing Loretta Lynn in Coal Miner’s Daughter (1980)
Susan Sarandon for playing Sister Helen Prejean in Dead Man Walking (1995)
Geoffrey Rush for playing David Helfgott in Shine (1996)
Julia Roberts for playing Erin Brockovich in Erin Brockovich (2000)
Jim Broadbent for playing John Bayley in Iris (2001)
Jennifer Connelly for playing Alicia Nash in Beautiful Mind (2001)
Helen Mirren for playing Queen Elizabeth II in The Queen (2006)
The Academy Awards and Oscars are trademarks of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences
Updated: March 2013
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As at 2003, how many women have won a Best Director Oscar? | The first Oscars
The first Oscars
> The first Oscars
Oscar Awards held twice in 1930
The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences was established in May 1927 as a non-profit corporation to promote the art of movie making. In the first year, the Academy had 36 members, with Douglas Fairbanks Sr as president. The first Academy Awards, now better known as the Oscars, were presented at a private dinner in the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel, with less than 250 persons attending. Today, the Academy has over 6 000 honorary members – the Oscar Awards are viewed by more than a billion people on television.
The first television broadcast of the Oscars took place in 1953 – on black and white TV, telecasted throughout the US and Canada. Telecasting in colour begun in 1966, and since 1969, the Oscars have been telecast throughout the world. By the mid-1990s it was telecast in over 100 countries.
Emil Jannings
Photos with kind permission of silent-movies.com – the premier web destination for Silent Movie facts.
The first Oscars
At the first Acadamy Awards, held in May 1929, Best Director awards went to Lewis Milestone for Two Arabian Knights and Frank Borzage for 7th Heaven. The first award for Actor in a Leading Role went to Emil Jannings for his roles in The Last Command and The Way of All Flesh. The first Best Actress award was won Janet Gaynor for her roles in 7th Heaven, Street Angel and Sunrise. The first Best Picture award went to WINGS. All those films were screened in 1927. Those were the days of the silent movies, thus WINGS was the only silent to have won a Best Picture Oscar. It also featured Gary Cooper in a minor role. Swiss-born Jannings grew up in Germany and had a heavy German accent which, with the advent of sound in movies, basically put an end to his Hollywood movie career.
The most popular night in the world
The Academy Award ceremony basically was a non-public affair in 1927 and 1928. But it had created such public interest that the Oscar Presentation Night was introduced in 1929. Until 1954 the Oscars were presented mostly on a Thursday. From 1955 to 1958, they were presented on a Wednesday. From 1959 until 1998 the Oscars were, with a few exceptions, presented on a Monday night. Only since 1999 did the Awards ceremony take place on a Sunday (in March). In total up to 2005, the famous statuettes have been handed out on 32 Monday nights, 21 Thursday nights, 8 Wednesdays, 6 Tuesdays, 2 Fridays, once on a Saturday (1948), and four times on a Sunday.
In 1930, the Academy Awards were held twice: on 3 April and on 5 November. No ceremony was held in 1933. Since 1940 people have been kept on the edge of their seats with the familiar phrase “The envelope please.”
The Envelope Please
The record for most acting nominations without a single win is shared by Peter O’Toole and Richard Burton with seven. The most nominated actors for Best Actor and Best Supporting Roles are Jack Nicholson (11), Laurence Olivier (10), and Spencer Tracy (9). No male performer has yet won three Best Actor awards.
Only one actress has won the Best Actress award four times: Katharine Hepburn is the only actress to have won the Best Actress award four times, for Morning Glory (1932/3), Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner? (1967), The Lion in Winter (1968), and On Golden Pond (1981). In 1968 Katherine Hepburn was tied with and Barbra Streisand for the Best Actress award.
Anthony Quinn’s performance as painter Paul Gaugin in Lust for Life (1956) is the shortest ever to win a Best Supporting Actor Academy Award. He was on screen for only 8 minutes. Judi Dench made the an equally short performance, winning Supporting Actress for her potrayal of Elizabeth I in “Sheakespeare in Love” (1999). More Oscar factoids
In 1997 James Cameron’s Titanic received 11 Oscars, sharing the record of the most Oscars awards for a single film with William Wyler’s Ben Hur (1959). The closest runner-up is West Side Story with 10 Oscars in 1961.
©2016 Did you know? · Fascinating facts and trivia factoids, some serious, some fun, covering topics from celebrities to global warming, politics and history.
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In what year was the best foreign film category introduced to the Academy Awards? | 1956 Academy Awards® Winners and History
The Ten Commandments (1956)
Actor:
YUL BRYNNER in "The King and I" , James Dean in "Giant", Kirk Douglas in "Lust for Life", Rock Hudson in "Giant", Laurence Olivier in "Richard III"
Actress:
INGRID BERGMAN in "Anastasia", Carroll Baker in "Baby Doll" , Katharine Hepburn in "The Rainmaker", Nancy Kelly in "The Bad Seed", Deborah Kerr in "The King and I"
Supporting Actor:
ANTHONY QUINN in "Lust for Life", Don Murray in "Bus Stop", Anthony Perkins in "Friendly Persuasion", Mickey Rooney in "The Bold and the Brave", Robert Stack in "Written on the Wind"
Supporting Actress:
DOROTHY MALONE in "Written on the Wind" , Mildred Dunnock in "Baby Doll" , Eileen Heckart in "The Bad Seed", Mercedes McCambridge in "Giant", Patty McCormack in "The Bad Seed"
Director:
GEORGE STEVENS for "Giant", Michael Anderson for "Around the World in 80 Days", Walter Lang for "The King and I" , King Vidor for "War and Peace", William Wyler for "Friendly Persuasion"
This was the year that the regular competitive category of Best Foreign Language film was introduced, instead of only being recognized as a special achievement Honorary Award or as a Best Picture nominee (as in 1938). The nominees were from West Germany, France, Japan, Italy, and Denmark. The first winner in this new category was Federico Fellini's La Strada with Anthony Quinn and a second nomination for Original Screenplay. Its win would help to create an interest in foreign-language films - with subtitles. Another Fellini film, The Nights of Cabiria (1957) would win the Best Foreign Language Film Oscar in the following year.
This was also the first year that all of the five Best Picture nominees were in color.
Another possible trend, signaled by the victory of Marty (1955) , toward simpler, shorter, intimate dramas, did not occur again in 1956. Instead, there was the splashy emergence of wide-scale, expensive super-epics (colorful dramas, musicals, comedies, and costume pieces) all at least two hours long - mostly to compete with the resurgence of television.
All of the major awards winners were gigantic - Mike Todd's Around the World in 80 Days, The King and I , Anastasia, Giant, De Mille's The Ten Commandments - the highest grossing film of the year, King Vidor's War and Peace, and Wyler's Friendly Persuasion. [And the trend toward blockbusters and colorful spectaculars was established for years to come. The next three Best Picture winners proved the point:
Ben-Hur (1959) .]
This was only the second time in Oscar's long history that the top six prizes (Best Picture, Director, Actor, Actress, Supporting Actor, and Supporting Actress) went to six different films. It also occurred in 1952 and wouldn't occur again until another 49 years later - in 2005!
The Best Picture nominees for 1956 included:
the exciting globe-trotting travelogue Around the World in 80 Days (with eight nominations and five Oscars - Best Picture, Best Adapted Screenplay, Best Color Cinematography, Best Music Score (Victor Young - his first Oscar, won posthumously after 19 previous nominations), and Best Film Editing), the three hour epic and adaptation of the Jules Verne classic novel about a proper Victorian/English gentleman named Phileas Fogg who makes a financial wager about circumventing the globe (by balloon, train, stagecoach, rickshaw, boat, elephant, etc.)
the musical The King and I (with nine nominations and five wins - Best Score, Best Sound, Best Actor, Best Art Direction, Best Costume Design)
director George Stevens' sprawling Texan drama Giant (with ten nominations and only one win - Best Director) about two generations of the wealthy Texas cattle baron Benedict clan - a generational saga adapted from Edna Ferber's 1952 best-selling novel
Cecil B. DeMille's own re-make of his 1923 silent Biblical epic, the Technicolored The Ten Commandments (with seven nominations and only one win - Best Visual Effects) with an all-star cast about the life of Moses and the Exodus from Egypt with a spectacular sequence of the parting of the Red Sea
William Wyler's lengthy Friendly Persuasion (with five nominations and no wins), a film about Civil War-era family of Quaker pacifists in southern Indiana who struggle to remain true to their beliefs
The winner was Mike Todd's first film, British director Michael Anderson's Around the World in 80 Days. Its wide-screen Todd-AO processes featured a globe-trotting ensemble cast and a tremendous number of big-name Hollywood and international stars in over four-dozen cameo appearances: in addition to David Niven as the traveling gentleman, Cantinflas (in his American film debut as valet Passepartout), Shirley MacLaine (as a rescued Indian princess), and Robert Newton (as a pursuing detective), other minor players included John Gielgud, Hermione Gingold, Beatrice Lillie, Marlene Dietrich, Buster Keaton, Victor McLaglen, John Mills, George Raft, Cesar Romero, Trevor Howard, Robert Morley, Noel Coward, Charles Coburn, Frank Sinatra, Ronald Colman, Charles Boyer, Glynis Johns, and Peter Lorre. The quality of the acting was another thing - Around the World in 80 Days was one of a very few Best Pictures that had no acting nominations! The Best Picture's British director was nominated as Best Director, but the winner was American director George Stevens for Giant. [Trivia Note: During the Oscar competition, Giant star Elizabeth Taylor was married to Around the World's producer Mike Todd - as both films were vying for Best Picture.]
Of the five nominees for Best Picture, only Cecil B. De Mille was not nominated for his film as Best Director. [De Mille's film won only one Oscar, for John Fulton's Special Effects - including the spectacular parting of the Red Sea.] In De Mille's place, King Vidor was nominated for the spectacular historical epic of Tolstoy's novel War and Peace (with three nominations and no wins), starring Henry Fonda and Audrey Hepburn. [This was Vidor's fifth and final Oscar nomination, following earlier nominations for
The Crowd (1928) , Hallelujah (1929-30), The Champ (1931-2), and The Citadel (1938). Vidor never won an Oscar.] The directing Oscar went to George Stevens for Giant, a film without any other Oscar wins.
In a re-creation of his Broadway role in the Rodgers and Hammerstein musical, Walter Lang's film version of The King and I , shaved-headed and bare-chested Yul Brynner (with his sole nomination - and only Oscar win) won the Best Actor Oscar for his life-defining and dynamic role as the exotic but stubborn, virile and autocratic Siamese monarch of 1862 who has many children needing an education. (The film was the musical remake of the drama Anna and the King of Siam (1946) with Rex Harrison as the king). It was only Brynner's second film appearance following his debut in the B-movie thriller Port of New York (1949), in which he played a narcotics dealer. Brynner's work was also showcased in two other films in 1956, as the stubborn Pharaoh Rameses II facing Charlton Heston's Moses in The Ten Commandments , and as Bounine, a White Russian prince in Anastasia opposite Best Actress Award-winner Ingrid Bergman. [If Brynner's earlier B-movie film wasn't counted, Brynner's win in The King and I marked the first time that an actor had ever won a Best Actor award in his first major film.]
The defeated Best Actor nominees included a number of impressive contenders:
the predicted winner was Kirk Douglas (with his third and last unsuccessful career nomination) for his performance as tortured Dutch painter Vincent van Gogh in Vincente Minnelli's and MGM's production of Lust for Life (Douglas received earlier nominations for Champion (1949) and The Bad and the Beautiful (1952) .)
James Dean was also nominated (with his second, consecutive posthumous nomination) for his eccentric, legendary portrayal of ne'er-do-well ranch-hand outcast Jett Rink who becomes an oil baron when he strikes oil in George Stevens' Best Director-winning film Giant. (Dean is the only actor to receive two posthumous (and consecutive) nominations for acting. Out of his three major films, Dean was nominated twice as Best Actor and lost both times. He was already dead from a California highway auto accident when Giant was released.)
Rock Hudson (with his sole unsuccessful career nomination) was nominated for his role as rancher Bick Benedict in Giant - one of the best performances of his career. (Hudson would never be nominated again, even though he starred in other excellent films including Pillow Talk (1959) and Seconds (1966).)
co-producer/director/actor/writer Sir Laurence Olivier (with his fifth of ten career acting nominations) was nominated for the title role of the dastardly and nasty monarch ("My kingdom for a horse!") in the British film Richard III (the film's sole nomination), his third and possibly finest Shakespearean film. (Olivier had already won the only Oscar of his career for another Shakespearean effort - Hamlet (1948), and earlier received an honorary Oscar for Henry V (1946).)
With 20th Century Fox's and director Anatole Litvak's made-abroad Anastasia (with two nominations and one win - Best Actress), Ingrid Bergman (with her fifth nomination) won her second actress Oscar twelve years after her previous win in 1944. It was her first American film in many years in the role of a Paris derelict saved by three White Russians and trained to pose as the missing, but surviving daughter of last czar of Russia - Czar Nicholas II and Alexandra. It marked a triumphant, vindicating return for Bergman after being informally blacklisted and ostracized for seven years and living in European exile from Hollywood for her 'scandalous' adulterous affair (and illegitimate son) with Italian director Roberto Rossellini. The affair was all-the-more scandalous because of her appearance in wholesome and chaste Oscar-nominated film roles, such as The Bells of St. Mary's (1945) and Joan of Arc (1948). [Bergman made her first appearance at the awards ceremony in April of 1959 to honor 1958's films - she hadn't been at the Oscars since 1949.] The plot of the film, based on the role created on Broadway by Viveca Lindfors, concerned the puzzling fate of Anastasia, the last surviving youngest daughter of the last Russian tsar, the executed Nicholas II of Russia, who has to convince exiles Yul Brynner and Helen Hayes of her identity.
Her Best Actress fellow nominees were:
Katharine Hepburn (with her seventh nomination) for her portrayal of Lizzy Curry - a lonely spinster who falls in love with itinerant con man Burt Lancaster in director Joseph Anthony's The Rainmaker (with two nominations and no wins). [Hepburn was the only other actress who eventually earned more Oscars than Bergman did, but Hepburn's loss of this award put Bergman one up on her for a while.]
Nancy Kelly for her re-created Broadway role as Christine - the mother of an evil, eight year old little girl (Patty McCormack) in director Mervyn LeRoy's The Bad Seed (with four nominations and no wins)
Carroll Baker (with her sole nomination) as a thumb-sucking, crib-sleeping teenaged, 'virginal' 19 year-old blonde 'Baby Doll' Meighan in director Elia Kazan's controversial Tennessee Williams adaptation titled Baby Doll (with four nominations and no wins)
Deborah Kerr (with the third of six unsuccessful career nominations) as Anna Leonowens, an Englishwoman who serves as governess for the King of Siam's 82 children in The King and I . [Kerr's singing in the film was dubbed by Marni Nixon, whose voice was also used for lead singers in
West Side Story (1961) , and My Fair Lady (1964) . Kerr's record number of losses is shared with actress Thelma Ritter. Kerr's other nominated films include Edward, My Son (1949), From Here to Eternity (1953) , Heaven Knows, Mr Allison (1957), Separate Tables (1958), and The Sundowners (1960).]
In another major upset in the ceremonies, Mexican-born Anthony Quinn won the Best Supporting Actor award in the very short, on-screen role (less than ten minutes) as famed painter Paul Gauguin, friend and fellow artist of the excessive Van Gogh (Kirk Douglas) in director Vincente Minnelli's Lust for Life (with four nominations and one win - Best Supporting Actor) - it is one of the shortest performances to ever receive an award. [This was Quinn's second nomination and second/final Oscar win. His first win was for Viva Zapata! (1952). He would be nominated twice more as Best Actor for Wild is the Wind (1957) and for Zorba the Greek (1964).]
The other Best Supporting Actor nominees were:
heavily-favored Mickey Rooney (with his third of four unsuccessful career nominations) for his role as Dooley - an infantryman fighting in World War II Italy in director Lewis Foster's war film The Bold and the Brave (with two nominations and no wins)
Robert Stack (with his sole career nomination) for his performance as Kyle Hadley - a rich Texas oilman who marries respectable Lucy (Lauren Bacall) and has a sex-hungry sister (Dorothy Malone) in Douglas Sirk's excellent steamy melodrama Written on the Wind (with three nominations and one win - Best Supporting Actress) about a Texas family's self-destruction
Anthony Perkins (with his sole career nomination) for his role as young Quaker Josh Birdwell in his third film Friendly Persuasion, although he later performed one of his greatest (but un-nominated) roles as motel manager Norman Bates in Hitchcock's
Psycho (1960) .
Don Murray (with his sole nomination - in his film debut) played Bo Decker - a Montana rodeo cowboy in love with co-star/singer Marilyn Monroe in director Joshua Logan's Bus Stop (the film's sole nomination)
Dorothy Malone (with her sole nomination - and only Oscar win) won the Best Supporting Actress award for her role as alcoholic Robert Stack's sexually provocative, nymphomaniacal, trampy and spoiled rich sister Marylee Hadley - who finds only unrequited love with right-hand man Rock Hudson in Written on the Wind .
Other Best Supporting Actress nominees included:
Mildred Dunnock (with her second and last unsuccessful career nomination) as dotty old Aunt Rose Comfort in Baby Doll
Mercedes McCambridge (with her second and last career nomination) as Rock Hudson's surly Texan sister Luz Benedict in Giant
two co-stars were nominated for their roles in The Bad Seed: Eileen Heckart (with her first of two career nominations) as Mrs. Daigle - the alcoholic mother of one of the 'bad seed's' victims and eleven year-old child actress Patty McCormack (with her sole nomination) as homicidal young Rhoda - the 'bad seed' herself
This year's Honorary Award went to Eddie Cantor "for distinguished service to the film industry," known for musical comedies of the 30s including Whoopee (1930), Palmy Days (1931), The Kid From Spain (1932), Roman Scandals (1933), Kid Millions (1934), and Strike Me Pink (1936).
Oscar Snubs and Omissions:
When Albert Lamorisse's French children's film/short story The Red Balloon, aka Le Ballon Rouge made its debut in 1954, it won the prestigious Palme d'Or in the short film category at Cannes. Paradoxically, the 34 minute film also won the Best Writing: Original Screenplay Oscar -- without a single line of dialogue. The charming foreign film was the shortest film ever to win a screenplay award -- under Academy rules, that made it a live action short subject film.
The over-blown nominees for Best Picture completely bypassed some of the best American films ever made. The biggest error was the lack of recognition to John Ford's classic and complex American western
The Searchers with great lead and supporting performances by John Wayne (who wouldn't receive his first Oscar until 1969) as brooding, obsessed and racist Ethan Edwards searching for his Comanche-kidnapped niece (Natalie Wood) and Ward Bond (as Rev. Capt. Samuel Johnston Clayton). Its gorgeous cinematography, nuanced tale of prejudice, and great performances must have seemed too powerful for the Academy, which instead voted for the all-star glamour and power of the big-screen epic Around the World in 80 Days. [The superior film Giant should have been the winner of the Best Picture Oscar this year!]
Akira Kurosawa's 1954 Japanese classic epic The Seven Samurai received only two nominations in 1956: Best Art Direction and Best Costume Design, without any honors in the Best Picture category.
All of the following also lacked nominations:
Alfred Hitchcock's The Wrong Man with Henry Fonda as the 'wrongly-accused' Manny Balestrero
writer/director Stanley Kubrick's stark crime film The Killing with Sterling Hayden as ex-con Johnny Clay
Nicholas Ray's Bigger Than Life with James Mason
Don Siegel's science-fiction cult classic Invasion of the Body Snatchers
Judy Holliday was un-nominated for her role as Laura Partridge in the comedy The Solid Gold Cadillac. Marilyn Monroe's vulnerable performance as Cherie in Bus Stop (with only one nomination for Don Murray for Best Supporting Actor), one of her best film roles, went unrecognized. Except for its nomination (and win) for Best Song (the only song from a Hitchcock film to win an Oscar, the familiar "Que Sera, Sera" (Whatever Will Be, Will Be)), Hitchcock's remake of his own The Man Who Knew Too Much received no other recognition (such as a nomination for Doris Day or James Stewart). Elizabeth Taylor was overlooked for her role in George Stevens' Best Director-winning Giant.
Blacklisted writer Dalton Trumbo, under the pseudonym of Robert Rich, won the Best Writing: Original Story Award (his second and last nomination and sole Oscar win) for The Brave One. [Note: He had already won an Oscar for Roman Holiday (1953) under a different name (Ian McLellan Hunter, who fronted for Trumbo). He was not there to receive his Oscar in 1957, and wasn't presented with his award (with his real name inscribed on the trophy) until May of 1975, almost 20 years later and just before he died (in September of 1976).
One of the most undeserving awards was Best Adapted Screenplay for the episodic Around the World in 80 Days, shared by three writers: James Poe, John Farrow, and S.J. Perelman. The blacklisted screenwriter for Friendly Persuasion, Michael Wilson, was denied a place on the ballot with a superior script when declared ineligible under 1956 Academy by-laws.
| 1948 |
What was the name of author A. A. Milne's son, the name of whom he used in his Winnie The Pooh books? | Oscars: Foreign Countries' Film Awards | Hollywood Reporter
Kristy Sparow/WireImage/Getty Images
France's Cesar Award and an Oscar statuette
You may know France's Cesars, but do you know which countries hand out the Golden Rooster, Ariel and Bodil awards, which country has three best picture honors and whose statuette looks like a scarab beetle?
All eyes will be on the Oscars this weekend as Hollywood honors its best at the 88th Academy Awards.
Entertainment industry insiders and film fans abroad will also follow who walks away with the golden statuettes, including the one for best foreign-language film. To honor their homegrown talent though, many foreign countries have their own national industry awards.
In many countries, there is a clear equivalent to the Oscars. France, for example, has the Cesar Awards, Spain the Goyas, and Mexico the Ariel Awards. But in other countries, such as in India and China, more than one prominent award exists.
Here is THR's look at the homegrown versions of the Oscars in various countries — from Europe to Latin America and Asia.
Canada
Canadian Screen Awards
The Canadian Screen Awards have only been handed out since 2013. Before that, the Genie Awards (for film) and Gemini Awards (for TV) were handed out as the country's top awards. Then, the Academy of Canadian Cinema & Television merged the Genies and Geminis to create the Canadian Screen Awards, now handed out annually.
Nominees are traditionally announced in January and winners honored in early March.
The Canadian Screen Awards have over 100 film, TV and digital categories. The kudos are reserved for Canadian content productions. Hollywood films are not entered into the competition. But Hollywood stars are honored in the categories with homegrown movies, in which they star.
For example, this year, Brie Larsen is nominated in the best actress category for her role in Room, a Canada-Ireland co-production. And Joan Allen is nominated in the best supporting actress competition, again for Room.
The Canadian Screen Awards will air on the CBC network on March 13.
U.K.
BAFTA Awards
The British Academy’s annual film awards ceremony is held two weeks prior to the Oscars, with nominees announced in early January.
It’s positioning and close alliance with the American Academy means it is now considered the biggest film event outside of the U.S., and, at times, a good indicator of how the voting will go in L.A. The prize itself is a golden theatrical mask designed by American sculptor Mitzi Cunliffe and was commissioned in 1955.
This year’s event was held Feb. 14, and saw The Revenant emerge with the most awards, among them for best film, best actor for Leonardo DiCaprio and best director for Alejandro G. Inarritu. Elsewhere, Brie Larson won best actress for Room, while Brooklyn picked up the best British film honor and Amy was honored as best documentary.
France
Cesar Awards
Founded in just 1976 to rival the American Oscars after other film prizes had floundered, this year the Cesar awards will celebrate their 41st birthday. The ceremony started a year after the French Cinema Academy was founded, spearheaded by producer and public relations pioneer Georges Cravenne, who was known for his work with Jean-Luc Goddard and for reviving the famed Lido theater in Paris after WWII.
The prize is named after famed French sculptor Cesar, who created the design of the monolith sometimes referred to as “the log.” Though it shines as gold as the Oscar, it is made of polished bronze, and weighs in at a whopping 8.4 pounds. Winners' names are carved in backstage.
This year, Gerard Depardieu and Isabelle Huppert are nominated for their roles as a husband and wife in Valley of Love. The two stars are also the most-nominated actor and actress in the award’s history, with 18 and 15, noms respectively. Depardieu has taken home the prize twice, and Huppert only once. Roman Polanski is the most honored director, with four wins.
Each year, the French Academy bestows honorary Cesars. In recent years that has been a single prize given to foreign actors, including Dustin Hoffman, Harrison Ford, Sean Penn and Kate Winslet. This year, it will be awarded to Michael Douglas. Kristen Stewart made history last year as the first American to win a Cesar, taking home the best supporting trophy for her performance in Sils Maria.
The Academy also hosts a luncheon at the famed Fouqet’s restaurant on the Champs Elysees for all nominees in early February, and awards the producers awards Prix Daniel Toscan du Plantier at a dinner ceremony at the Hotel Georges V the Monday before the official ceremony. The academy also bestows technical awards in early January.
This year's ceremony will be held on Friday, Feb. 26, two days before the Oscars.
Germany
Lolas
The German Film Awards, or Lolas, were founded in 1951 by the German government to honor cinematic excellence as well as supporting the local film industry. The award was christened the Lola in 1999. The name is a reference to Marlene Dietrich's role in Blue Angel (1930), Rainer Werner Fassbinder's film Lola (1981) and Tom Tykwer's Run Lola Run (1998).
The awards are among the most lucrative worldwide, with a cash prizes amounting to around $3.3 million (€3 million). Cash bursaries are awarded both to nominees and winners, so it truly is an honor just to be nominated.
From 1951-2004, the Lolas were picked by a commission, made up of representatives of political parties and religious organizations. But in 2005 the country set up the German Film Academy, based on the AMPAS model, which now picks the winners.
The academy awards Lolas in 15 categories, including unusual ones like best children's film, and hands out three best film awards — in gold, silver and bronze — for the three best German movies of the year. There is also a viewer's choice award and an honorary Lola for outstanding contribution to German cinema.
Victoria, a German thriller shot in a single, unedited take, won big at the 2015 Lolas, earning six trophies, including for best film, best director for Sebastian Schipper and best acting honors for stars Laia Costa and Frederick Lau.
The 2016 Lolas will be held on May 27 in Berlin.
Spain
Goya Awards
Spain's Goya Awards, which are handed out annually by the Spanish Film Academy, celebrated their 30th edition on Feb. 6. Nominees were announced in mid-December. The award itself is a bronze statue of the painter Francisco Goya.
Hollywood stars Penelope Cruz, Javier Bardem and Antonio Banderas regularly attend the ceremony when they are on home turf in Spain. This year's big winner was Cesc Gay's friendship drama Truman, starring Ricardo Darin and Javier Camara.
Italy
Named after Donatello’s famed Renaissance bronze sculpture of the biblical hero David, Italy’s David di Donatello award was first awarded in Rome in 1955.
Similar to the Oscars, the honors are voted on by members of the industry. Even the trophy, a miniature gold David statuette on a malachite base, originally created by Bulgari, is reminiscent of the Oscars. The event is typically held each June.
There are currently 24 categories for the David di Donatello awards, given out to Italian films. Hollywood films are awarded under the best foreign film category.
Quentin Tarantino, who has won three David di Donatello awards, for Pulp Fiction, Inglourious Basterds and Django Unchained, finally came to a ceremony last year in Rome to pick up his awards. He stayed to meet with composer Ennio Morricone, where he convinced him to score the music for his film The Hateful Eight, which is nominated for an Academy Award for best score.
Last year, the award for best foreign film went to Birdman. It beat out Wim Wenders’ documentary The Salt of the Earth, as well as Xavier Dolan’s Mommy and Clint Eastwood’s American Sniper.
Sweden
Guldbagge Awards
The Gudlbagge, or gold beetle, awards were founded in 1964.
The trophy of a gold scarab beetle is one of the more unique film statuettes out there.
Unlike many national film honors, the Guldbagges are picked by a nominating committee whose members are obligated to watch all of the Swedish films that screened in cinemas the previous year. Members of the committee get one vote in each of the 18 categories, in which they pick their first, second and third choices. The voting results in three nominees per category. A nine-member jury of film professionals picks the winners.
Sweden holds its film honors in late January, making it one of the first awards events of the year on the international calendar. Magnus von Horn's The Here After won the Guldbagge for best film this year.
Denmark
Bodil Awards
Established in 1948, Denmark's Bodil Awards are among Europe's oldest film honors. The porcelain statuette was named after two Danish acting legends: Bodil Kjer and Bodil Ipsen.
The Bodil winners are picked by the Danish Film Critics association and often favor artistically challenging films over commercially successful ones. Bodils are awarded in eight categories, including best American and best non-American (and non-Danish) film. There are special awards for cinematography and for lifetime achievement. Bille August's Silent Heart won the Bodil for best film in 2015.
In 1984, the Danish Film Academy launched a competing film prize, called the Robert Awards, which has an exhaustive list of 29 honors, with categories for both film and television. Lars von Trier's Nymphomaniac: Director's Cut won seven Robert Awards last year, including for best film.
Mexico
Ariel Awards
The Ariels have been awarded since 1947 by the Mexican Academy of Cinematographic Arts & Sciences. The Academy usually announces nominees in April and holds the awards ceremony in May in Mexico City.
The Ariel gets its name from an early 20th-century essay written by Uruguayan author Jose Enrique Rodo, whose character Ariel is a hymn to Latin America's vast cultural offering and the quest for excellence in art.
Last year's best picture winner was Alonso Ruizpalacios' black-and-white road movie Gueros, on which Gael Garcia Bernal served as executive producer. Among the Ariel's 25 categories, an award goes to best Ibero-American picture for films hailing from Latin America and Spain.
Past Ariel winners include directors Inarritu, Alfonso Cuaron, Guillermo del Toro and cinematographer Emmanuel Lubezki.
Brazil
Grande Premio do Cinema Brasileiro
Created by the Brazilian Film Academy in 2002, the Great Prize of Brazilian Cinema had a few name changes over the years, with big sponsors such as TAM airlines or oil company Petrobras attaching themselves to the title.
Presented in a gala at the landmark Odeon Theater in Rio de Janeiro's Cinelandia district, the awards include 26 categories voted on by academy members and three honors open for public vote.
In 2015, Fernando Coimbra's A Wolf at the Door won seven statuettes, including for best fiction film, director and actress.
Argentina
Sur Awards
Since 2006, the Sur ("South") Awards have been given out by the Argentine Film Academy in a ceremony held in Buenos Aires in December.
Originally created in 1941 and shut down in 1955 by a military dictatorship, the Argentine Academy was reinstated in 2004 with Oscar-winner Juan Jose Campanella (The Secret in Their Eyes) as president.
In 2015, Diego Lerman's Refugiado won best film and director, beating local hit The Clan, which was nominated in 12 out of the 20 categories.
Colombia
Macondo Awards
Named after the imaginary city from Gabriel Garcia Marquez's A Hundred Years of Solitude, the Macondo Awards' first ceremony took place in 2010.
A statuette representing the endangered Macondo tree, the awards in 14 categories are presented by the Colombian Film Academy in early December.
In 2015, Ciro Guerra's foreign-language Oscar nominee Embrace of the Serpent swept the awards, topping eight categories, including best picture, director, script and cinematography.
Russia
Nika Awards and Golden Eagle Awards
Two film awards compete for the right to be called "the Russian Oscars."
The older event, the Nika Awards, modeled on the Oscars, was founded in 1987 by actor and director Yuli Gusman.
Designed to reflect the sort of glitz and glamor associated with L.A.'s most famous ceremony, the Nikas focus on celebrating national film and talent in a wide range of categories. For this year's 29th annual ceremony, due to take place April 1 at Moscow's Russian Song theater, 46 feature films are competing for the top award of best film, including Alexander Mindadze's controversial film about Russian-German cooperation on the eve of WW II, Dear Hans, Dear Piotr, and Renat Devlatyarov's remake of classic Soviet war film The Dawns Here Are Quiet.
Last year, the best film award went to Hard to Be a God, by renowned director Alexey German. The film was completed posthumously after the director's death, of heart failure, at the age of 74 in February 2013.
Russia's chaotic transition from the certainties of Soviet times spawned not only a wild free-market consumerism, but a deep division in artistic attitudes. The film industry split into two broad camps - those for and against the vision and Kremlin loyalty of Oscar-winning director and president of the Moscow international film festival, Nikita Mikhalkov. The old film union split into two bodies, and in 2002 Mikhalkov founded the Golden Eagles as a rival to the older Nikas.
The 2015 nominees were announced on Dec. 28 and the statuettes were handed out in late January at Russia's biggest film studio, Moscow's Mosfilm. The awards have often been criticized for favoring directors close to Mikhalkov and ignoring his opponents.
The Golden Eagle is awarded in 21 category. Hollywood movies typically get honored in the best foreign film category. Alejandro G. Inarritu's Birdman was the most recent winner.
Australia
Australian Academy of Cinema and Televisions Arts Awards
Australia’s pre-eminent film and television awards are the annual AACTA Awards. The fifth annual ceremony was held in December, with George Miller’s Mad Max: Fury Road winning the bulk of the awards, including for best film and best director.
AACTA also recognizes screen excellence, regardless of geography, through the AACTA International Awards, held each January in Los Angeles.
The AACTA Awards are owned and managed by the Australian Film Institute. They were originally established in 1958 and were previously known as the AFI Awards, but the structure of the awards changed to the AACTA Awards in 2012 to reflect an Academy model of peer voting for the honors.
The awards are handed out at two separate ceremonies in Sydney each year. The main awards ceremony is broadcast on the same day with a delay on free-to-air TV and repeated on pay TV network Foxtel several days later.
China
Various
China has no shortage of cinematic honors. The longest-running major movie honors in mainland China are the Hundred Flowers Awards, which were launched in 1962 by the China Film Association and sponsored by Popular Cinema magazine, with the winners decided in a vote by the publication's subscribers. In its current incarnation, the Hundred Flowers honors are choosing winners based on a popular vote conducted online or over the phone.
Another awards show with a multi-decade pedigree, the Golden Rooster Awards, began in 1981, which was — you guessed it — the Year of the Rooster. Originally held annually, in 2005 the Roosters partnered with the Hundred Flowers Awards, with the two events alternating each year.
In 2007, Chinese media company Tianxia Yingcai Cultural Media established the Huading Awards, which operate as the Grammys, Golden Globes, Emmys and Oscars in one.
None of the events have so far reached industry-dominating prestige and influence in the Chinese film world.
In terms of Greater China, there are even more awards. Taiwan has the Golden Horse Awards, which are selected by a jury of judges and awarded at the end of the Golden Horse Film Festival, carry considerably more artistic weight.
The Asian Film Awards, meanwhile, were established by the Hong Kong International Film Festival Society in 2007. Although the voting members that select the winners initially skewed predominantly Hong Kongese, in recent years efforts have been made to bolster the membership among the cinemas of Asia: East Asia, South Asia, Southeast Asia and West Asia, so that the awards will acquire legitimacy across the region.
Japan
| i don't know |
What is the profession of a leprechaun? | Leprechauns: Facts About the Irish Trickster Fairy
Leprechauns: Facts About the Irish Trickster Fairy
By Benjamin Radford, Live Science Contributor |
June 20, 2013 08:19pm ET
MORE
An unidentified man in a St. Patrick's Day parade waving at the crowd wearing a green leprechaun hat and laughing March 17, 2012, Cork, Ireland.
Credit: Peter O'Toole | Shutter
Leprechauns are a type of fairy, though it's important to note that the fairies of Irish folklore were not cute Disneyfied pixies; they could be lustful, nasty, capricious creatures whose magic might delight you one day and kill you the next if you displeased them.
Leprechauns are often described as wizened, bearded old men dressed in green (early versions were clad in red) and wearing buckled shoes, often with a leather apron. Sometimes they wear a pointed cap or hat and may be smoking a pipe.
Leprechaun lore
In their book "The Element Encyclopedia of Magical Creatures," John and Caitlin Matthews trace leprechaun legends back to eighth-century legends of water spirits called "luchorpán," meaning small body. These sprites eventually merged with a mischievous household fairy said to haunt cellars and drink heavily.
Other researchers say that the word leprechaun may be derived from the Irish leath bhrogan, meaning shoemaker. Indeed, though leprechauns are often associated with riches and gold, in folklore their main vocation is anything but glamorous: they are humble cobblers, or shoemakers. Shoemaking is apparently a lucrative business in the fairy world, since each leprechaun is said to have his own pot of gold, which can often be found at the end of a rainbow.
According to Irish legends, people lucky enough to find a leprechaun and capture him (or, in some stories, steal his magical ring, coin or amulet) can barter his freedom for his treasure. Leprechauns are usually said to be able to grant the person three wishes. But dealing with leprechauns can be a tricky proposition.
A trickster
The leprechaun plays several roles in Irish folklore; he is principally a roguish trickster figure who cannot be trusted and will deceive whenever possible. In her encyclopedia "Spirits, Fairies, Leprechauns, and Goblins," folklorist Carol Rose offers a typical tale of leprechaun trickery "concerning a man who managed to get a leprechaun to show him the bush in the field where his treasure was located. Having no spade [shovel], the man marked the tree with one of his red garters, then kindly released the sprite and went for a spade. Returning almost instantly he found that every one of the numerous trees in the field sported a red garter!"
In the magical world, most spirits, fairies and other creatures have a distinctive sound that is associated with them. Some entities — such as the Irish fairy banshee and the Hispanic spirit La Llorona — are said to emit a mournful wail signifying their presence. In the case of the leprechaun, it's the tap-tap-tapping of his tiny cobbler hammer, driving nails into shoes, that announces they are near.
In his collection of Irish fairy and folk tales, W.B. Yeats offered an 18th-century poem by William Allingham titled "The Lepracaun; Or, Fairy Shoemaker" which describes the sound:
"Lay your ear close to the hill.
Do you not catch the tiny clamour,
Busy click of an elfin hammer,
Voice of the Lepracaun singing shrill
As he merrily plies his trade?"
The 1825 publication of a book called "Fairy Legends" seemingly cemented the character of the modern leprechaun: "Since that time leprechauns seem to be entirely male and solitary," they note.
It seems that all leprechauns are not only shoemakers but also old male loners, which makes sense from a cultural standpoint, since that type of fairy is so closely associated with shoemaking, a traditionally male vocation. Though there is something curious about all leprechauns being cobblers (what if they want to be writers, farmers, or doctors?), this designation also fits in well with the traditional folkloric division of labor among fairies.
Leprechauns in popular culture
As with many old legends and traditions, the image and nature of the leprechaun has changed over time and has been updated (and in some cases sanitized) for a modern audience. Lucky the Leprechaun, mascot of the General Mills breakfast cereal Lucky Charms, is probably the best-known fairy of his type.
On the other end of the spectrum there's the homicidal leprechaun Lubdan in the "Leprechaun" horror/comedy film series (played by "Willow" actor Warwick Davis). For generations, some Irish have been annoyed by leprechauns and the ethnic stereotypes they perpetuate, and for most Americans leprechauns only appear around St. Patrick's Day .
Leprechauns offer a morality tale figure whose fables warn against the folly of trying to get rich quick, take what's not rightfully yours or interfere with "The Good Folk" and other magical creatures. Belief in leprechauns and other fairies was once widespread on the Emerald Isle , and real or not they will continue to amuse and delight us for centuries more.
Benjamin Radford is deputy editor of Skeptical Inquirer science magazine and author of six books including "Tracking the Chupacabra: The Vampire Beast in Fact, Fiction, and Folklore." His Web site is www.BenjaminRadford.com.
Author Bio
Benjamin Radford, Live Science Contributor
Benjamin Radford is the Bad Science columnist for Live Science. He covers pseudoscience, psychology, urban legends and the science behind "unexplained" or mysterious phenomenon. Ben has a master's degree in education and a bachelor's degree in psychology. He has written, edited or contributed to more than 20 books, including " Scientific Paranormal Investigation: How to Solve Unexplained Mysteries " and " Tracking the Chupacabra: The Vampire Beast in Fact, Fiction, and Folklore ." He sometimes appears on television but doesn't like to watch himself. He has also written and directed two short films and created a board game.
Benjamin Radford, Live Science Contributor on
Latest on Leprechauns: Facts About the Irish Trickster Fairy
| Cobbler |
Lanzarote and Tenerife are part of which group of islands? | Leprechauns: Facts About the Irish Trickster Fairy
Leprechauns: Facts About the Irish Trickster Fairy
By Benjamin Radford, Live Science Contributor |
June 20, 2013 08:19pm ET
MORE
An unidentified man in a St. Patrick's Day parade waving at the crowd wearing a green leprechaun hat and laughing March 17, 2012, Cork, Ireland.
Credit: Peter O'Toole | Shutter
Leprechauns are a type of fairy, though it's important to note that the fairies of Irish folklore were not cute Disneyfied pixies; they could be lustful, nasty, capricious creatures whose magic might delight you one day and kill you the next if you displeased them.
Leprechauns are often described as wizened, bearded old men dressed in green (early versions were clad in red) and wearing buckled shoes, often with a leather apron. Sometimes they wear a pointed cap or hat and may be smoking a pipe.
Leprechaun lore
In their book "The Element Encyclopedia of Magical Creatures," John and Caitlin Matthews trace leprechaun legends back to eighth-century legends of water spirits called "luchorpán," meaning small body. These sprites eventually merged with a mischievous household fairy said to haunt cellars and drink heavily.
Other researchers say that the word leprechaun may be derived from the Irish leath bhrogan, meaning shoemaker. Indeed, though leprechauns are often associated with riches and gold, in folklore their main vocation is anything but glamorous: they are humble cobblers, or shoemakers. Shoemaking is apparently a lucrative business in the fairy world, since each leprechaun is said to have his own pot of gold, which can often be found at the end of a rainbow.
According to Irish legends, people lucky enough to find a leprechaun and capture him (or, in some stories, steal his magical ring, coin or amulet) can barter his freedom for his treasure. Leprechauns are usually said to be able to grant the person three wishes. But dealing with leprechauns can be a tricky proposition.
A trickster
The leprechaun plays several roles in Irish folklore; he is principally a roguish trickster figure who cannot be trusted and will deceive whenever possible. In her encyclopedia "Spirits, Fairies, Leprechauns, and Goblins," folklorist Carol Rose offers a typical tale of leprechaun trickery "concerning a man who managed to get a leprechaun to show him the bush in the field where his treasure was located. Having no spade [shovel], the man marked the tree with one of his red garters, then kindly released the sprite and went for a spade. Returning almost instantly he found that every one of the numerous trees in the field sported a red garter!"
In the magical world, most spirits, fairies and other creatures have a distinctive sound that is associated with them. Some entities — such as the Irish fairy banshee and the Hispanic spirit La Llorona — are said to emit a mournful wail signifying their presence. In the case of the leprechaun, it's the tap-tap-tapping of his tiny cobbler hammer, driving nails into shoes, that announces they are near.
In his collection of Irish fairy and folk tales, W.B. Yeats offered an 18th-century poem by William Allingham titled "The Lepracaun; Or, Fairy Shoemaker" which describes the sound:
"Lay your ear close to the hill.
Do you not catch the tiny clamour,
Busy click of an elfin hammer,
Voice of the Lepracaun singing shrill
As he merrily plies his trade?"
The 1825 publication of a book called "Fairy Legends" seemingly cemented the character of the modern leprechaun: "Since that time leprechauns seem to be entirely male and solitary," they note.
It seems that all leprechauns are not only shoemakers but also old male loners, which makes sense from a cultural standpoint, since that type of fairy is so closely associated with shoemaking, a traditionally male vocation. Though there is something curious about all leprechauns being cobblers (what if they want to be writers, farmers, or doctors?), this designation also fits in well with the traditional folkloric division of labor among fairies.
Leprechauns in popular culture
As with many old legends and traditions, the image and nature of the leprechaun has changed over time and has been updated (and in some cases sanitized) for a modern audience. Lucky the Leprechaun, mascot of the General Mills breakfast cereal Lucky Charms, is probably the best-known fairy of his type.
On the other end of the spectrum there's the homicidal leprechaun Lubdan in the "Leprechaun" horror/comedy film series (played by "Willow" actor Warwick Davis). For generations, some Irish have been annoyed by leprechauns and the ethnic stereotypes they perpetuate, and for most Americans leprechauns only appear around St. Patrick's Day .
Leprechauns offer a morality tale figure whose fables warn against the folly of trying to get rich quick, take what's not rightfully yours or interfere with "The Good Folk" and other magical creatures. Belief in leprechauns and other fairies was once widespread on the Emerald Isle , and real or not they will continue to amuse and delight us for centuries more.
Benjamin Radford is deputy editor of Skeptical Inquirer science magazine and author of six books including "Tracking the Chupacabra: The Vampire Beast in Fact, Fiction, and Folklore." His Web site is www.BenjaminRadford.com.
Author Bio
Benjamin Radford, Live Science Contributor
Benjamin Radford is the Bad Science columnist for Live Science. He covers pseudoscience, psychology, urban legends and the science behind "unexplained" or mysterious phenomenon. Ben has a master's degree in education and a bachelor's degree in psychology. He has written, edited or contributed to more than 20 books, including " Scientific Paranormal Investigation: How to Solve Unexplained Mysteries " and " Tracking the Chupacabra: The Vampire Beast in Fact, Fiction, and Folklore ." He sometimes appears on television but doesn't like to watch himself. He has also written and directed two short films and created a board game.
Benjamin Radford, Live Science Contributor on
Latest on Leprechauns: Facts About the Irish Trickster Fairy
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What colour is Sonic the Hedgehog? | Miles "Tails" Prower | Sonic News Network | Fandom powered by Wikia
I've changed a lot since I started hanging out with Sonic , but I can't depend on him forever. I know I can do this by myself!
—
Miles "Tails" Prower, Sonic Adventure [6]
Miles Prower (マイルス・パウアー, Mairusu Pauā ? ), better known by his nickname, Tails (テイルス, Teirusu ? ), is a fictional character from the Sonic the Hedgehog series . He is an anthropomorphic fox cub born exclusively with two twin-tails, hence his nickname. Because of his abnormality, Tails was the subject of bullying during his youth. One day, however, he met Sonic the Hedgehog and was inspired to become as cool as him after seeing him run like the wind. Tails soon after began following Sonic on his adventures and has since become his best friend and sidekick. He is able to use his twin-tails to fly by rotating them like helicopter rotors and is a mechanic genius and aerial pilot.
A gentle and sweet-natured soul, Tails was initially timid and lacked courage. After meeting Sonic, however, Tails has become more confident, eventually growing into a more outgoing, brave and independent individual, and a hero in his own right. Since encountering Sonic, Tails has looked up to him and stood by his side, helping him however he can during their adventures.
Contents
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Concept and creation
The concept for Tails was founded during the development of Sonic the Hedgehog 2 . After some discussion about making a sequel to Sonic the Hedgehog (1991) , portions of Sonic Team went to work with Sega of America 's Sega Technical Institute . A new element they wanted to introduce was a new character that would both serve as a sidekick to Sonic the Hedgehog and draw attention and new players to the franchise.
An internal contest was held at STI which Yasushi Yamaguchi , originally the main artist and zone designer for Sega 's Sonic Team , won. Yamaguchi originally created Ray the Squirrel (who would only appear in SegaSonicArcade) [7] to be used as a sidekick, but designed Tails for the internal competition after Sega of Japan rejected the Flying Squirrel idea. The character was meant to hold a "deep admiration for Sonic." [8]
The name 'Miles Prower' played on a speed pun (miles per hour) and was originally intended to be a tanuki, a raccoon-like canine native to east Asia, and extremely popular in Japanese folklore. The designers decided to change him to a fox, however, to avoid possible comparisons with Mario , who at the time had a power up called the Tanooki Suit, which allowed him to fly, and made him look like a tanuki. His entry won, but Sonic Team decided to change his character's name from "Miles" to "Tails" in which Yamaguchi was not too pleased at all about. Yamaguchi ended up with a compromise: he put the name "Miles" in as his legal name; "Tails" would be his nickname, ending up with the full name of Miles "Tails" Prower.
The character debuted as Sonic's tag-along partner in the franchise's second game, and has remained an important character. However Tails' uniqueness was not established until Sonic the Hedgehog 3 when players were allowed to control his flying. [9]
Tails was redesigned (along with all of the other Sonic characters) by Yuji Uekawa for Sonic Adventure. Tails' redesign saw him having his fur color changed to a slightly orange shade of yellow, and he gained visible blue irises. He also became slightly slimmer and taller. He also gained a more streamlined appearance with slightly more rounded ears as well as longer tails, which are used as his main form of attack, most notably the Tail Swipe . Later on, between Shadow the Hedgehog and Sonic Unleashed , he was made taller, given darker blue eyes, and receiving a few scratches on the front of his shoes.
Appearance
Tails is a young, anthropomorphic fox cub with a unique mutation of two tails instead of one. He has mostly yellow-orange fur with white fur around his muzzle, front torso, and the tips of his tails. He also has blue eyes. Typically, his attire consists simply of white gloves and red shoes with white toes.
History
Early life
Almost nothing is known about Tails' early life. What is known is that Tails was born with the genetic abnormality which gave him two tails, from which he earned his nickname, but also made him the target of much bullying. Also, because of his unusually large IQ, Tails became a master engineer.
Tails Adventure
Tails having awoken to see Cocoa Island under siege.
In Tails Adventure , prior to meeting Sonic , Tails had taken up residence on Cocoa Island , living pretty similar days. One day though, during a nap forest, Tails was suddenly awoken by the sound of explosions. Admist the chaos, Tails met a frantic Flicky who explained that the Battle Bird Armada , led by Great Battle Kukku 15th , had invaded Cocoa Island in search for the Chaos Emeralds located on the island so their leader could conquer the world. During this, Tails saw Great Battle Kukku 15th leading his battalion through the burning forest. Realizing the threat, Tails mustered all his courage and set out to liberate the island. [10]
While liberating the island and recovered the Chaos Emeralds, Tails gained an enemy in Speedy . When Tails infiltrated the Battle Bird Armada's undersea stronghold, the Battle Fortress , he was trapped by Dr. Fukurokov , but managed to outwit the doctor and escape the Battle Fortress as it rose into the sky. Tails then invaded the Battle Fortress in his Sea Fox , where he defeated Speedy and afterwards Great Battle Kukku 15th for good. Tails then escaped the Battle Fortress in the Sea Fox as it crashed into the sea. Tails then returned to his workshop to built a larger model of his Remote Robot , only to have it explode in his face.
Sonic the Hedgehog 2
Mega Drive
In Sonic the Hedgehog 2 , Tails had taken up residence on West Side Island where he was bullied by the native animals for his two tails. [11] One day while walking around alone and sad though, he saw Sonic the Hedgehog run past him. [12] Seeing Sonic run like the wind made Tails admire him for how cool he was. With a change it heart, Tails resolved to become as cool as Sonic and began following him. However, Tails was too shy to show himself to Sonic and hid whenever Sonic noticed him. Though Sonic ignored him, Tails still followed him and eventually earned his attention by keeping up with his speed. [11]
During an early afternoon, Tails discovered Sonic's biplane, the Tornado , on the beach. Fascinated by the craft, Tails investigated it, but shyly stayed away from Sonic napping under it. Suddenly, an explosion erupted from the woods, and Tails sought shelter under the Tornado where Sonic stood by him. There, he saw the destruction of the island and Badniks digging in the ground. As Sonic ran into the attack, Tails reflectively followed him. [11] Arriving in the inferno, Tails and Sonic discovered it was Sonic's arch-enemy, Dr. Robotnik , who was behind this. The doctor had arrived on West Side Island where he turned the Animals into Badniks to find the Chaos Emeralds , which were currently on the island, so he could create the Death Egg to conquer the world. Tails and Sonic thus teamed up to find the Chaos Emerald and save the island.
Tails and Sonic chasing Robotnik's rocket ship in the Tornado .
Traveling across West Side Island, the duo claimed the Chaos Emeralds. Along the way, Tails proved a great assist to Sonic and the two build a strong bond. After freeing West Side Island, Tails and Sonic followed the doctor to the Wing Fortress Zone in the Tornado, [13] but when they got there, Tails and the Tornado were shot down. However, Tails returned in time with a rocket engine-enhanced Tornado to help Sonic get to Robotnik in his rocket ship .
Back on the ground, Tails watched the Death Egg explode thanks to Sonic, and took the Tornado back into the sky to look for Sonic. There, he saved Sonic from his fall from space and the two of them flew through the sky together. [13] At the end of their adventure, Tails and Sonic had become best friends, and Tails was made his idol's sidekick.
Game Gear/Master System
Tails being held captive by Dr. Robotnik.
In Sonic the Hedgehog 2 , Tails and the other animal residents on South Island were taken hostage by Dr. Robotnik while Sonic was gone. Imprisoned in the Crystal Egg , Robotnik made Tails write a note to Sonic saying that the hedgehog had to deliver the Chaos Emeralds in exchange for Tails' release. Tails also warned Sonic in the note that Robotnik had his six Master Robots waiting for him. [14] Coming to Tails' rescue though was Sonic, who took the fight to Robotnik. After Sonic defeated him, Robotnik escaped in a teleporter from which Tails shortly after emerged from. Though confused at how he got there, Tails was happily reunited with Sonic and the duo set off for new adventures together.
Sonic Chaos
Tails trying to catch up with Sonic during their chase after Robotnik.
In Sonic Chaos , Tails was with Sonic on an adventure when they heard rumors about Dr. Robotnik seeking the Chaos Emeralds on South Island . Returning home, the duo found the place in chaos as Robotnik had stolen one of the Chaos Emeralds, thereby creating an imbalance that scattered the rest of the Chaos Emeralds was making the island sink into the ocean. Banding together, Tails and Sonic headed out to recover the Chaos Emeralds and save South Island. [15]
In the ensuring battles, Sonic and Tails recovered the lost Chaos Emeralds except one, before defeating Robotnik in a final battle. Tails and Sonic the got the final Chaos Emerald in Robotnik's possession back, securing South Island's safety.
Sonic the Hedgehog 3 & Knuckles
Sonic the Hedgehog 3
Tails flying across Angel Island Zone in Sonic the Hedgehog 3 .
In Sonic the Hedgehog 3 , many days after the events of Sonic the Hedgehog 2 , Tails' Jewel Reader picked up a strong chaos energy reaction out at sea. Connecting to a tidal wave a few days earlier, Tails consult Sonic and the two left in the Tornado to investigate the reaction as their next big adventure. [16]
When Tails and Sonic reached the location, they found the legendary floating isle, Angel Island , except that the island was kept at the ocean's surface by the Death Egg , which Tails thought they had destroyed, which had crash-landed on it. Seeing that the Death Egg was currently being rebuilt, the duo set out to destroy the Death Egg for good. When they got to the island however, Knuckles the Echidna , the guardian of Angel Island and the Master Emerald , ambush Sonic and forced the Chaos Emeralds out of Sonic just as he turned into Super Sonic . Knuckles, having being tricked by Dr. Robotnik into thinking Tails and Sonic wanted to steal the Master Emerald, then stole the Chaos Emeralds and escaped to hide them.
Despite this, Tails and Sonic continued onward, traveling across Angel Island to freed it from Robotnik's control. Along the way, Tails and Sonic were repeatedly ambushed by Knuckles, but the duo survived each encounter, and recovered the Chaos Emeralds. Arriving in Launch Base Zone , Tails and Sonic got onboard the Death Egg just as it took off, where Robotnik had come to smite Sonic with excessive force. Sonic still defeated Robotnik, with their battle taking its toll on the Death Egg at a critical point of its launch, which made it crash into the Lava Reef Zone . [13]
Sonic & Knuckles
In Sonic & Knuckles , as Tails and Sonic landed in the Mushroom Hill Zone after escaping the falling Death Egg , they saw the space station survive another crash landing, this time into the island's volcano. The duo thus left once more to find the Death Egg and destroy it and as well discover Robotnik 's fate. [13] [17] While passing through Mushroom Hill Zone, Tails and Sonic saw Knuckles coming through a hidden doorway. Once Knuckles was gone, Tails and Sonic looked inside the room hidden by the doorway, where they found a Giant Ring that took them to the Emerald Shrine in the Hidden Palace Zone , the location of the Master Emerald . [17] Riddled with questions, Tails and Sonic returned to Mushroom Hill to continue their search.
Eventually, Tails and Sonic got to the Hidden Palace Zone on their own, where Sonic defeated Knuckles. [13] Tails and Sonic then followed Knuckles as he went to check the Master Emerald, where they saw Robotnik steal it so he could power the Death Egg. As Knuckles realize he had been duped as Robotnik fled, he befriended Tails and Sonic and guided them to Sky Sanctuary Zone to reach the Death Egg, but because Knuckles was too exhausted from the last struggles, they had to leave him behind. On their way through the sanctuary, Sonic and Tails fought Eggrobo and Mecha Sonic fought several times, where they in the final encounter used a crumbling pillar to get on the Death Egg.
Tails bringing Sonic and the Master Emerald back to Angel Island.
On board the Death Egg, Tails and Sonic fought Dr. Robotnik in a final showdown in Kyodai Eggman Robo . Upon the defeat the contraption, which resulted in the Death Egg's complete destruction, Sonic gave chase to Robotnik in space as the doctor escaped with the Master Emerald while Tails returned to earth. There, he caught Sonic on the Tornado when he returned with the Master Emerald. The two of them then toiled the Master Emerald back to Angel Island where it belonged. Tails and Sonic then made peace with Knuckles before departing themselves.
Sonic the Hedgehog Triple Trouble
Tails searching for the Chaos Emeralds.
In Sonic the Hedgehog Triple Trouble , Tails and Sonic heard that Dr. Robotnik had lost the Chaos Emeralds following a weapons test and sprung into action to find them. As they collected information however, Tails and Sonic suddenly met Knuckles . Knuckles, having been tricked by Robotnik into thinking they wanted the Chaos Emeralds for the wrong reasons, gave them a warning before leaving. [18]
Despite several threats, Tails and Sonic recovered all but one of the Chaos Emeralds while confronting the nuisances of Knuckles and Fang the Sniper , the latter who wanted the Emeralds for profit. When arriving at the Dr. Robotnik's base , Tails and Sonic faced and beat Metal Sonic , Fang and finally Robotnik for good while retrieving the final Chaos Emerald from the doctor. Tails and Sonic then freed Knuckles from imprisonment and made peace again before taking off on the Tornado to find new adventures.
Tails' Skypatrol
Tails giving chase to Witchcart .
In Tails' Skypatrol , Tails left Sonic to find an adventure of his own. He eventually found a small island which was seemingly uninhabited and had mine cart tracks weaving all around. As Tails began to fret that Dr. Robotnik was behind some sort of operation on the island, he sensed danger from an approaching cart and hid. From his hiding place, he saw an old witch named Witchcart arrive and claim the island as her own while threatening to turn those that opposed her into crystal. As Witchcart left with her henchmen, Tails pursued the villains, firm with determination to save the island. [19]
Giving chase to Witchcart, Tails took out Witchcart's henchmen Carrotia , Bearenger , and Focke-Wulf , before catching up to Witchcart and defeating her. With Witchcart and her henchmen contained, Tails left the island, joyous about his victory.
Sonic Labyrinth
In Sonic Labyrinth , Tails had left Sonic to go on a solo journey. As such, he was unable to help save Sonic when Dr. Robotnik launched his latest plot to defeat the hedgehog a few days later. [20]
Sonic the Fighters
Tails overviewing the Death Egg II with Sonic in his workshop.
In Sonic the Fighters , Tails discovered the Death Egg II via surveillance, a space station from where Dr. Robotnik planned take over the world with his robot army. To destroy the Death Egg II, Tails created the Lunar Fox to reach it, but the the vessel had only one seat and needed all the Chaos Emeralds to take off. As such, Tails and Sonic entered a fighting tournament where the winner got to collect all the Chaos Emeralds which belonged to the participants, Tails included, and as well earn the right to destroy the Death Egg II. At the end of the tournament, the victor used the Chaos Emeralds to go to the Death Egg II and made it self-destruct moments after escaping it.
Sonic 3D Blast
Tails in Green Grove Zone ready to take Sonic to a Special Stage.
In Sonic 3D Blast , Tails traveled to Flicky Island with Sonic and Knuckles . Having heard legends about the island's Flickies ' being the key to find the Chaos Emeralds , the trio journeyed to there to find these birds. When they got there however, the island was in a pandemonium because of Dr. Robotnik who had established a base on the island from where he turned the Flickies into Badniks and used them to search for the Chaos Emeralds on the island. [21] Tails and Knuckles therefore joined forces with Sonic and helped him find the Chaos Emeralds while Sonic saved the Flickies and defeated Robotnik.
Sonic R
In Sonic R , Tails was with Sonic on an adventure when they saw an advertisement of the World Grand Prix, a racing competition to determine the fastest in the world, and Tails suggested to Sonic that they should enter. At first, Sonic was not interest, but when he saw Dr. Eggman on the list of participants he left to register, leaving Tails to chase after him. [22] At the Grand Prix, Tails competed with not only Sonic, but also their friends, new and old enemies, and Dr. Robotnik, who were using the others to locate the Chaos Emeralds the race tracks. At the conclusion, Tails and the others secured the Chaos Emeralds before Dr. Robotnik, foiling the doctor's plans once more.
Sonic Adventure
Tails showing his Chaos Emerald.
In Sonic Adventure , when Sonic left on a journey, Tails devoted himself to tinkering in his workshop , [23] where he made the Tornado 2 , with a Chaos Emerald he found as a power source. During a test flight however, the aircraft crashed at the beach where he met Sonic. Tails took Sonic to see his project, but encountered Dr. Eggman who demanded Tails' Chaos Emerald. Despite beating Eggman's Egg Hornet , the doctor snatched the Chaos Emerald and revealed Chaos , whom he transformed into Chaos 1 with the Emerald and told his plan to make it invincible with all seven Chaos Emeralds and then build Robotnikland upon Station Square. Tails thus left with Sonic to find the Emeralds before Eggman.
Tails and Sonic soon found two Chaos Emeralds, but they then were ambushed by Dr. Eggman with sleeping gas who took one of their Emeralds. Unshaken, Tails and Sonic soon found one another Chaos Emeralds, but were then attacked by Knuckles , who Eggman had duped into believing they had stolen parts of the Master Emerald . In the ensuring fight, Tails and Sonic lost their Chaos Emeralds, which were taken Dr. Eggman and given to Chaos 2 , turning it into Chaos 4 , who Tails and his friends beat. As Eggman escaped in the Egg Carrier , Tails and Sonic followed him in the Tornado , but were shot down.
When landing, Tails was brief knocked out and had a dream of his first meeting with Sonic. To get the Egg Carrier, Tails figured they needed the Tornado 2 and found a a Chaos Emerald for it which was taken by Froggy . When he caught Froggy, Tails met a mysterious light that took him into the past where he met Tikal. Back in the present, Tails had an brief meeting with Big the Cat who had been looking for Froggy who quickly fled. Fortunately, Tails got the Chaos Emerald back and used it for his Tornado 2 to look for Sonic. When he found Sonic, Tails took him to the Egg Carrier where Amy was held captive. When they found Amy with Eggman however, they had a brief skirmish with E-102 Gamma attacked them. As Egg Carrier then began to lose altitude, Tails flew Amy to safety upon Sonic's orders.
Tails facing the Egg Walker alone.
Bringing Amy to Station Square, Tails saw Dr. Eggman firing a missile in an attempt to destroy Station Square, only for the missile to turn out to be a dud. When Eggman left to rearm it, Tails realized he could not depend on Sonic to save him this time and that he could do this himself. Though Tails got to the missile and disarmed it, Eggman attacked him in his Egg Walker . As Tails defeated Eggman, he was hailed by Station Square's citizens and soon met up with Sonic again.
Following that, Tails left to find the Tornado 2 when he learned Angel Island had fallen. As he and Sonic when there, they found both Knuckles and Eggman, and learned that Chaos was still alive, had rebelled, and now had six Chaos Emeralds. Sonic and Tails soon headed out to find the last Chaos Emerald in the Tornado 2 before Chaos, but Chaos beat them to it. Tails then traveled to Station Square which was attacked by Perfect Chaos , where he found one of the drained Chaos Emeralds and brought to Sonic while his other friends brought the remaining six, telling him that he could still use their positive chaos energy to defeat Chaos. After Super Sonic defeat Perfect Chaos and neutralizing its evil. Tails watched Chaos depart with Tikal, but then noticed Sonic had already left for his next adventure.
Sonic Shuffle
Tails entering Maginaryworld.
In Sonic Shuffle , Tails, Sonic , Knuckles and Amy were suddenly taken to the Temple of Light in Maginaryworld . There, they met Lumina Flowlight who had brought them here to help her restore the Perfect Precioustone which had been shattered by Void and made its protector, Illumina , vanish. If the pieces remained lost, Void would destroy Maginaryworld, so Tails and the others agreed to help. While recovering the Precioustone pieces and restoring the places affected by Void, Tails occasionally met Void in his dreams. Though they initially opposed Void, Tails and his team soon saw that Void was lonely and sad which touched their hearts, and they realized that he and Lumina were two halves of the same being.
After regathering the lost Precioustones in the Temple of Light, Tails' team was forced to head there when Void went for the Perfect Precioustone. There, Void turned into a monster as his despair peeked. After beating Void, Tails and his friends found Lumina in despair since the Perfect Precioustone was not recovering. When Sonic found Void in the form of a dark gem, Tails helped Lumina accept Void by elaborating on how negative feelings were needed for dreams to exist. Having cheered up Lumina, Tails and the others saw her restore the Perfect Precioustone, and Lumina and Void merging back into their original form, Illumina. With Maginaryworld restored to an even better place, Tails and the gang received Illumina's gratitude before returning home.
Sonic Adventure 2
Tails heading out to save Sonic.
In Sonic Adventure 2 , Tails was rewarded with a Chaos Emerald from Station Square for saving the city from Eggman's missile in Sonic Adventure . One day, Tails caught a broadcast that Sonic had been arrested for robbing a federal reserve bank. Refusing to believe this, Tails headed for Prison Island in his Cyclone where Sonic was imprisoned to free him. There, he found Amy being chased by Dr. Eggman , where he defended Amy until Eggman left. Hearing Amy had come to free Sonic too, they teamed up and successfully infiltrated Prison Island to freed Sonic. When the island then began to explode, Tails, Sonic and Amy got off it in the last moment.
Tails finding a way to locate Eggman.
Traveling to Central City , Tails, Sonic and Amy saw Eggman's broadcast, where he revealed the Space Colony ARK and displayed the Eclipse Cannon , powered by six Chaos Emeralds, by blowing up half of the Moon , before demanding world control within 24 hours or he would fire at earth . Figuring he could use his Chaos Emerald to locate Eggman due to the Emeralds' attraction, Tails got to work while Sonic distracted the police as they arrived. However, Tails was unable to get a signal and instead found a transcript in the President 's limousine which they could use to find Eggman. Contacting Sonic on his findings, the two met up in the President's limo, where Tails located Eggman on the Space Colony ARK.
With Knuckles ' help, Tails, Sonic and Amy found Eggman's base where they hoped to find a space ship to the ARK so they could destroy the Eclipse Cannon. When they reached the center of the base, the group was ambushed by Eggman and his Egg Golem . While Sonic defeated the Egg Golem, Tails and the others got a space shuttle to take off in. While en route to Space Colony ARK, Knuckles tried to take control of the shuttle when a stray asteroid made him lose his Emerald Shards , causing Tails and the others to crash land on the ARK. On board, Tails provided a plan; giving Sonic a fake Chaos Emerald he had made, Tails told Sonic to insert it into the Eclipse Cannon when he shut off the power, thereby destroying the Eclipse Cannon from the inside. On route however, Tails learned that Amy was held captive by Eggman and was threatened to be killed unless they gave Eggman their Chaos Emerald.
Tails after defeating Eggman.
Meeting up with Sonic at Eggman's location, they planned to have Eggman take their fake Chaos Emerald. Eggman, however, saw through this when Tails accidentally revealed the Emerald was fake. Tails was then entrusted by Sonic to finish the fight as Sonic was rejected into space in a capsule that soon exploded, Determined to fulfill Sonic's last wish, Tails defeated Eggman, but then received to his joy a transmission from Sonic, revealing he had survived the explosion (though his excitement distracted him from Eggman who took his Chaos Emerald) and watched Sonic destroy the Eclipse Cannon.
As Tails met up with everyone, the Space Colony ARK had begun a collision course with earth. Tails and all the others then saw a recording of Gerald Robotnik announcing to the world that the ARK would crash into the planet and destroy it as his revenge at humanity for the death of his granddaughter, Maria . Banding together with Eggman, Tails and the group came up with plan of using the Master Emerald to deactivate the cannon's core, which was powered by the seven Chaos Emeralds, to stop the Space Colony's crash course. Tails soon got Sonic and Knuckles to the core, but after deactivating the Chaos Emeralds, the Biolizard merged with the ARK, becoming the Finalhazard and kept it on its collision course. Tails soon after provided advise to Super Sonic and Super Shadow over transmissions as they fought and defeated the Finalhazard. Following the Space Colony ARK's return to orbit thanks Super Sonic and Super Shadow, Tails found Sonic returning alone, informing them that Shadow had seemingly died in the fight. Tails then had a heart-to-heart talk with Eggman about Gerald before they returned to earth.
Sonic Advance series
Sonic Advance
In Sonic Advance , Tails joined forces with Sonic , Knuckles and Amy to stop Dr. Eggman from obtaining the seven Chaos Emeralds . Over the course of their adventure, Tails and the others got the Chaos Emeralds first and chased the doctor to the X-Zone . After they defeated the EGG X , Tails, Knuckles and Amy returned to earth while Super Sonic faced Eggman in a final confrontation on the moon . There, they awaited Sonic's return, but grew confused when he did not show up. A few days later, Tails was searching for Sonic in the Tornado when he found Super Sonic flying though the sky, and Tails welcomed him back.
Sonic Advance 2
Tails thanking Sonic for saving him.
In Sonic Advance 2 , Tails was kidnapped alongside Knuckles by Dr. Eggman when the evil scientist attempted once more to create the Eggman Empire . Fortunately, Tails was freed from Dr. Eggman by Sonic at Music Plant . Tails thanked Sonic for the rescue, but as Sonic tried to take off, Tails joined him in the fight against Eggman.
After freeing Knuckles and hunting down and seemingly beating Eggman, Tails, Sonic, Knuckles, Cream and Cheese found Vanilla who had gone missing, only to see her being kidnapped by Eggman in his new mech . Tails then witnessed Sonic using the Chaos Emeralds to become Super Sonic and taking off to rescue Vanilla and stop Eggman. When Sonic returned with Vanilla, Tails was thanked by Sonic for his help. However, Tails soon after noticed that Sonic had left on his own again.
Sonic Advance 3
Tails and Sonic witnessing the Earth being split apart.
In Sonic Advance 3 , Tails was hanging out with Sonic when they saw Dr. Eggman splitting the Earth into seven regions with Chaos Control so he could turn each region into a part of the Eggman Empire . Tails and Sonic thus set out to fix the planet and get the Chaos Emeralds before Eggman.
During their adventure, Sonic and Tails met Knuckles , Amy and Cream who joined them. Along the way, Sonic also faced Dr. Eggman's newest creation, Gemerl , a rebuilt version of Emerl . Eventually, Tails and his friends made it to the Emerald Altar where they beat the Hyper EggRobo and used the Master Emerald to return the world to normal. Later, Tails and the others found Sonic after his battle with Ultimate Emerl and welcomed him back before following him out on new adventures. When Gemerl's remains were later discovered by Cream and her mother , Tails rebuild the robot and restored his former friendly personality.
Sonic Heroes
In Sonic Heroes , Tails and Knuckles got a letter from Dr. Eggman , which said Eggman had created "the ultimate weapon" and challenged them to stop him within three days or he would conquer the world. Using the Tornado 2 , Tails and Knuckles found Sonic and showed him the letter. Though Tails was disturbed about this and unsure what would happen, he and Knuckles joined Sonic as he set out to stop Eggman, thus forming Team Sonic .
Team Sonic began their mission by locating Eggman in Ocean Palace . There, they were attacked by Eggman in the Egg Hawk , but Tails and his team defeated the machine, though Eggman escaped. They then followed Eggman to Grand Metropolis , which Tails and his friends freed from Eggman's control. After coming out of the Power Plant , however, Team Sonic met Team Rose who began fighting them until they slipped away.
Tails examining the Eggman copy.
As the team arrived in Casino Park with only 24 hours left, Tails pressed his team onward. While passing through the city, Tails and his team were attacked by Eggman's robot horde which they defeated. After chasing Eggman to Rail Canyon and only having until sunset, Tails and his team headed for Bullet Station where they destroyed Eggman's base. There, they found Eggman in the Egg Albatross and defeated him. After the battle, however, Team Sonic discovered that the Eggman they had been chasing was a copy, and that their challenge was to distract them while Eggman launched his Egg Fleet . As they were about to chase after Eggman again, Tails grew suspicious when he noticed that the Eggman copy was not one of Eggman's robots.
Team Sonic continued to follow Eggman into the jungle where they met Team Dark . Though Tails was shocked to see that Shadow was alive, the teams quickly began to fight over who got to chase after Eggman. After that, Team Sonic followed Eggman and Shadow to Hang Castle , where Tails was spooked out by the surroundings and Knuckles' teasing. After infiltrating the castle and escaping Mystic Mansion , Team Sonic was attacked by Eggman's robot horde , but defeated it.
Soon after, Team Sonic got to the Egg Fleet and arrived at the Final Fortress where they destroyed the colossal flagship's core. Team Sonic then met Eggman in his Egg Emperor and defeated him. After destroying much of the Egg Fleet, Tails flustered received Sonic's thanks for his help before seeing Sonic escape from the newly arrived Amy .
Tails insisting on going with Sonic.
Later, Team Sonic and the other teams saw the return of Metal Sonic , who had been staging the team's adventures and impersonating Eggman so he could follow them and copy their data in a plan to conquer the world himself, as he transformed into Metal Madness . Seeing that the teams had collected all the Chaos Emeralds , the real Dr. Eggman came up with the plan of using them against Metal Sonic. When Sonic decided to face Metal Sonic alone, Tails decided to go with him, along with Knuckles. While Team Sonic charged the Chaos Emeralds, Team Rose, Dark and Chaotix fought Metal Madness to buy them some time.
When Metal Madness transformed into Metal Overlord , Tails and Knuckles received their Super States from Sonic when he transformed into Super Sonic . The team then took off and defeated Metal Overlord. Back on the flagship, Tails joined Sonic as he left, and they soon after reunited with Knuckles. Together, the trio then headed out to find their next adventure.
Shadow the Hedgehog
In Shadow the Hedgehog , Tails assisted his friends and G.U.N. in defeating the scourge of the Black Arms who had begun to invade earth and as well battle Dr. Eggman . He appears during Shadow's Hero Missions where he asks Shadow for assistance.
Circus Park
Tails in Circus Park .
During the Black Arms invasion, Tails arrived at Dr. Eggman's Circus Park in his Chaos Emerald -powered Tornado III , planning to take back the Rings Eggman had stolen to build this theme park. Shortly after arriving, however, Tails' plane was shot, causing him to crash-land. After surviving the crash, Tails met Shadow and asked for his help in recovering the Rings.
In the Hero scenario, where Shadow accepted Tails' request, the two of them successfully reclaimed all the stolen Rings. They also found Tails' lost Chaos Emerald which Shadow took.
Air Fleet
When the Black Arms went after the President on board the Air Fleet , Tails got on board the vessel in an attempt to save the President. There, he came across Shadow and he asked the black hedgehog for assistance in taking down the Black Arms.
In the Hero scenario, where Shadow agreed to help, Tails and Shadow managed to rid the Air Fleet of the invading Black Arms, thus saving the President. After that, they found one of the Chaos Emeralds.
Last Story
In the last story, Tails came to stop Shadow from giving the Chaos Emeralds to Black Doom with Sonic , Knuckles , Amy , Rouge and Dr. Eggman. Black Doom however, took the Emeralds and used an enhanced Chaos Control to transport the Black Comet to the surface, planning to use humans as energy sources for the Black Arms. Soon after, Tails and his allies were paralyzed by a special nerve gas and Black Doom unleashed the Death leeches on them. Shadow however, was immune to the gas and left Tails and the others behind as he pursued Black Doom.
Tails and the others eventually got out of the Black Comet and found some shelter from where they supported Super Shadow on as he defeated Devil Doom . Tails then saw Super Shadow sending the Black Comet back into space and destroying it with the Eclipse Cannon . With the invasion over, Tails joined the others for a laugh as an enraged Knuckles chased Eggman around.
Sonic Battle
In Sonic Battle , Tails saw Sonic having a brief fight with Shadow . When Tails got there, Sonic showed him a robot called the Gizoid he had found and asked him to take a look at it while he interrogated Rouge . Taking the Gizoid to his lab , Tails discovered it evolved with each Chaos Emerald inserted into it and that it could copy fighting moves, before his computer crashed from data overload. Meanwhile, Tails heard the news saying similar robots robbing jewel stores, much to his worry. When Sonic returned, Tails told him everything he had learned, and they decided to train the Gizoid.
After some training, Tails and Sonic decided to see if Knuckles had a Chaos Emerald to help the Gizoid, who Sonic named "Emerl", evolve. On the way, they met an E-121 Phi and Chaos Gamma , but defeated both. When they arrived at Knuckles’, however, Knuckles mistook Emerl for an E-121 Phi and attacked him. After Emerl beat Knuckles, Tails and Sonic explained everything and got Knuckles' Chaos Emerald which they gave to Emerl.
Tails taking Emerl to the Central Lab.
Later on, Tails grew worried about Emerl's behavior and decided to take him to a full examination in the lab in Central City since his own computer was down. After convincing Sonic to let him go with Emerl alone, Tails and Emerl got to the labs, only to be denied access by security. Soon after, Tails met Rouge who offered to help them get into the labs, but Tails was suspicious about her motives. Regardless, Tails and Emerl received a pass from Rogue after fighting her and got into the Central Lab. There, Tails discovered that Emerl was an ancient weapon of mass destruction bound to go out of control. Just then, however, Tails and Emerl were then attacked by Guard Robos for accessing restricted information.
After defeating the robots, Tails and Emerl tried to escape, but were then attacked by Shadow, who wanted Emerl destroyed. Tails, however, would not let Shadow do it and fought him until Rouge arrived and took Shadow with her. Escaping to Holy Summit , Tails met up with Knuckles and told him to come with them to hear about Emerl. However, they were then forced to fight Chaos Gamma who blocked their way. Eventually, Knuckles held Chaos Gamma back alone, allowing Tails and Emerl to escape. Reunited with Sonic, with Rouge soon after joining them, Tails told him about Emerl's true nature and that he could not reprogram Emerl as he was too advanced. However, Rouge revealed that they could reset Emerl by inserting all seven Chaos Emeralds into him and giving him an unknown keyword. As Rouge left, Tails attempted in vain to stop a fight between Sonic, Emerl and Knuckles when Knuckles arrived.
Sometime later, Tails was practicing with Emerl and Sonic when Amy arrived, scaring Sonic off. Tails told Amy about Emerl, but accidentally made Amy think Sonic was practicing with Emerl to raise a child with Amy. Too scared to tell Amy otherwise, Tails left to find Sonic, but When he returned, Amy told him Emerl was kidnapped by Rouge and he left to inform Sonic. Later, Tails and Knuckles aided Sonic when he fought Rouge to get Emerl back, with Rouge eventually surrendering Emerl.
A while later, Tails was alone with Emerl when Knuckles came to train Emerl. However, when they heard the news saying an E-121 Phi had appeared Knuckles and Emerl went to deal with it. When they returned, they gave Tails some Emerald Shards and Tails figured out he could make a whole Chaos Emerald of they brought two more shards. Knuckles and Emerl soon came back with more shards and Tails assembled a whole Chaos Emerald which he gave to Emerl.
Later, Tails met Amy who tricked him into telling where Sonic was. Soon after, Amy and Emerl came with five Emerald Shards and Tails assembled a full Chaos Emerald from them which they gave to Emerl. Later, Tails and Sonic left Emerl in Amy's and Cream ’s care, while they checked a lead on a Chaos Emerald, which turned out to be false. A while later, after Emerl had been reset of his destructive programming by Shadow, Tails met Emerl again, who had come to fight him, and was defeated.
Later, Tails saw Dr. Eggman reveal his newest Death Egg and its Final Egg Blaster . Meeting up with Sonic and Emerl about the news, Tails feared it was a trap, but nevertheless prepared a teleporter to take them to the Death Egg, though it could only take one of the time. As Emerl was chosen to stop Eggman, Tails send Emerl off to the Death Egg and watched him fight Eggman through a monitor. When Eggman was defeated, however, Eggman destroyed some start with the Final Egg Blaster, causing Emerl to revert to his original programming. However, Eggman could not control Emerl as excepted, and Emerl prepared to fire the Final Egg Blaster at earth . Tails then send Sonic to the Death Egg with the Master Emerald to neutralize Emerl's power, but then that failed, Tails came up with a painful alternative solution: destroying Emerl. Once Emerl was destroyed, the world was saved, though Tails mourned Emerl's death and wondered if they would see him again.
Sonic Rush series
Sonic Rush
Tails pondering about Eggman's scheme.
In Sonic Rush , Tails met Sonic who revealed that Dr. Eggman was up to a new scheme involving "the ultimate power" and that a mysterious girl named Blaze the Cat had appeared. As such, Tails headed with Sonic to stop Eggman.
At Water Palace , Tails and Sonic met a new foe named Dr. Eggman Nega who had teamed up with Dr. Eggman. After Sonic beat Eggman Nega, Tails grew suspicious at this turn of events and headed to his workshop with Sonic to check something. There, Tails discovered to his horror that there was a rift in the space-time continuum that threatened reality itself, which he thought Eggman Nega was behind though Sonic suspected Blaze was part of it too. As they continued fighting Nega and searching for info, Tails and Sonic visited Vanilla who revealed Cream was with Blaze and where they could find them. Tails and Sonic therefore left to find Blaze and get some answers.
While on their way, Tails and Sonic ended up on path blocked by a rock pile which Knuckles emerged from. Knuckles then told Tails and Sonic that he got trapped under the rocks when chasing Blaze before smashing the rocks in anger. With the path cleared, Sonic and Tails continued onward and eventually found Blaze and Cream. Tails tried to ask Blaze about the space-time rift, but Blaze insisted she would deal with the crisis and Eggman Nega alone and ran off with Cream, promoting Tails and Sonic to follow them. Along the way, Tails and Sonic met Amy, who told them where Blaze went, though Tails had to ask on Sonic's behalf since Amy almost thought Sonic liked Blaze.
After that, Tails and Sonic following Blaze to Dead Line where Blaze was convinced to let them help her. Blaze then revealed that the space-time rift was caused by her world and Tails’ world merging with one another due to the Sol Emeralds having been stolen and brought to Tails' world. After Blaze told that Eggman and Eggman Nega were behind this, Tails and Sonic got ready to confront Eggman Nega on Blaze's behalf since she was unable to fight, when they noticed Cream was gone. They then found a letter from by Dr. Eggman saying he held Cream hostage and that Blaze had to come to Point W alone. As Blaze left to save Cream alone since she was her friend, Tails was skeptical about this, but was assured when Sonic insisted they should believe in her. After Sonic and Blaze defeated the Eggmans, Tails congratulated Sonic and celebrated their victory until Amy arrived and drove Sonic off.
A while afterwards, Tails came to Blaze's aid with Sonic, Knuckles, Amy and Cream when Eggman and Eggman Nega drained all her Sol Emeralds of their power to conquer both Tails' dimension and the Sol Dimension. There, Tails and his friends gave Blaze their moral support, allowing Blaze to recharge the Sol Emeralds and become Burning Blaze . She then joined together with Super Sonic and defeated the Eggmans, saving both dimensions.
Sonic Rush Adventure
Tails and Sonic out investigating the energy reaction.
In Sonic Rush Adventure , Tails discovered an unknown energy reaction and went to investigate it with Sonic in the Tornado . When they reached it however, they entered a storm and were sucked into a hurricane. Tails and Sonic then washed ashore on Southern Island where they met Marine the Raccoon . Finding themselves in unknown territory, Tails and Sonic decided to explore this sea. The next day, they witnessed Marine destroy her SS Marine by accident. With notes provided by Marine though, Tails built the Wave Cyclone which the trio used to explore the nearby islands.
While traveling, Tails and the others were attacked by several robotic foes, Johnny included. After Tails made the Ocean Tornado and they reached Coral Cave , the group met Captain Whisker and his crew, who were the ones behind the robot attacks. To Tails and his friends' surprise, they also met Blaze the Cat when she suddenly appeared, who helped beat Whisker's Ghost Kraken . After the battle, the pirates escaped with the Jeweled Scepter , an artifact hidden in Coral Cave which Blaze tried to protect. As Tails and Sonic wondered why Blaze was not in her world, Tails realized that he and Sonic had been transported to Blaze's world during the storm. Once they explained their story to Blaze, Tails and Sonic feared that the pirates posed a threat to both their worlds with the scepter and suggested to Blaze that they should team up, which Blaze accepted.
Following their alliance, Tails and his friends searched the sea for the pirates' whereabouts. Along the way, Tails made more vessels for them to use in the different waters. After having tracked and lost the pirates at Haunted Ship , freeing the Vikings on Blizzard Peaks from the pirates' captivity, and uncovering the secrets of Sky Babylon , the group found the pirates’ hideout in some ancient ruins . As they prepared to head there however, Tails, Sonic and Blaze decided to have Marine stay behind as she could endanger the mission. Though Tails and Sonic tried to be gentle, they silently agreed with Blaze when she told Marine she was a nuisance, making her run off crying.
Arriving at the ruins, Tails and his friends cornered Whisker, only for the pirate to escape. They then saw Marine coming and going after the pirates, but got caught by the Ghost Titan , making Tails, Sonic and Blaze take off to rescue her. When they reached the pirates, Tails distracted Whisker by saying the Jeweled Scepter was elsewhere, allowing them to save Marine. Once the Ghost Titan was destroyed, Tails and his friends escaped the pirates' ship as it sank with the pirates. Once Marine showed she got the Jeweled Scepter back however, the group returned to Southern Island.
Tails and Sonic meeting the true thieves.
After collecting all the Chaos Emeralds and Sol Emeralds , Tails and Sonic prepared to go home when they heard that the Jeweled Scepter had been stolen again. In the wake of an earthquake, the thieves revealed themselves to be Dr. Eggman and Dr. Eggman Nega in the Egg Wizard , who were behind the pirates, so they could use the Jeweled Scepter's ability to harness the Power of the Stars to build Eggmanland upon both worlds. Fortunately, Tails had prepared the Magma Hurricane , allowing them to chase the doctors to Deep Core where Super Sonic , Burning Blaze and Marine defeated the doctors.
The next morning, Tails build the SS Tornado EX for him and Sonic to return home in. As they were taking off, Marine arrived in her SS Super-Marine to say goodbye. Tails and Sonic then promised Marine they would see each other again before returning to their own world.
Sonic Riders series
Sonic Riders
In Sonic Riders , Tails came to Future City with Team Sonic to find a Chaos Emerald . There, they see the Babylon Rogues and Tails saw on his radar that they had the Chaos Emerald. They then chased after the Babylon Rogues, where Tails saw the symbol on Storm 's Type-S and realized who they were. He and Knuckles soon after caught up to Sonic when he chased after Jet and found him knocked down while the Babylon Rogues escaped.
The next day, Tails and his team saw Dr. Eggman on some monitors, announcing the EX World Grand Prix and that the entry fee for the contestants was a Chaos Emerald, with the winner getting all seven. When they saw the participants Eggman had found were the Babylon Rogues, Team Sonic entered the competition.
Tails has his Extreme Gear mocked by Wave.
After Tails and his friends passed the qualification rounds, they met Amy , who had also signed up for the tournament. Tails, having pondered about the symbol he saw, then told the others the legends he knew about the Babylon Rogues, Babylon Garden and the Treasure of Babylon. As Tails then tried to tell Knuckles about Extreme Gear , Wave the Swallow came by and mocked Tails' customized Blue Star (and secretly planted a bomb on it), infuriating Tails. No sooner though, Tails and the group left for the next race.
After making it to the semifinals, Tails and Knuckles watched Sonic practice with Extreme Gear until Jet appeared and mocked Sonic before taking his leave. This made Tails doubt the Blue Star he made for Sonic, though he resolved to unlock the Extreme Gears' secrets. In the following race, Tails beat Wave and got her out of the competition. Eventually, Tails and his team made it to the finals, which Jet won after Wave sabotaged Sonic's Blue Star.
With the competition over, Tails and his friends watched Jet claim and use the seven Chaos Emeralds in tandem with the Key to Babylon Garden to reveal Babylon Garden itself, with the intention of claiming its treasure. Eggman, however, stole the key so that he could claim the treasure himself, believing it to be technology that he could use to conquer the world. Tails and Knuckles then quickly followed Sonic as they took off to stop Eggman.
When Team Sonic approached Babylon Garden in the Tornado 2 , Tails gave Sonic the Blue Star II , which he made for such an occasion, so Sonic could pursue Eggman. On Babylon Garden, Tails and Knuckles met Wave and Storm, but before blows could be exchanged, Tails got them to leave when he saw a flock of E-10000s coming. Tails and Knuckles then followed Wave and Storm to Sonic, where Sonic had stopped Eggman and returned the Key to Babylon Garden to the Rogues. Tails and his friends then got ready to leave until Amy showed up and chased Sonic around for attacking Eggman while he held her hostage. No sooner, Tails and the others heard a roar from inside Babylon Garden and went to investigate. There, the group saw the Babylon Rogues had awoken the Babylon Guardian , which they were forced to fight.
After beating the Babylon Guardian, Team Sonic and the Babylon Rogues found the Treasure of Babylon, which was a Magic Carpet , much to Eggman's disappointment. After observing the carpet however, Tails and Wave saw it was an ancient prototype of Extreme Gear. With the adventure over, Tails and his friends left the Babylon Rogues until the would meet again.
Sonic Riders: Zero Gravity
Tails talking to Sonic about the meteorite he found last night.
In Sonic Riders: Zero Gravity , a few months after the EX World Grand Prix, [24] Tails was awoken from his sleep when a small meteorite impacted outside. The next morning, Tails brought the meteor to Sonic and Knuckles and drove them to Megalo Station in Monopole . Suddenly, however, they were attacked by SCR-HD and a group of SCR-GP , a part of a currently global robot rampage who were after the meteorite. As they tried to escape, Team Sonic fell out from a 300-story building, though Tails and Knuckles saved themselves by flying while Sonic was saved by the meteorite which could manipulate gravity.
As they tried to hide from the robots, Tails and the group met Amy , who was a target of the robots too because she had a meteorite similar to theirs. The group then decided to go to MeteoTech , who created the robots, to get answers. When they got there, Tails and his friends were discovered by security, only for the Babylon Rogues to appear and Jet repelling the security robots with another meteorite. While Tails was surprised to see the Rogues, Jet demanded their meteorites, called the Ark of the Cosmos, but Tails got his team to leave when more robots showed up.
Arriving in the control room, the group were surprised to find Dr. Eggman , who owned MeteoTech, though Eggman claimed to have no part in the global robot rampage. Under persuasion, Eggman revealed MeteoTech’s mother computer was powered by an Ark of the Cosmos and that the robot's leader, SCR-HD, which also had an Ark of the Cosmos, sought them out for reasons unknown. However, everyone then realized Amy was gone and saw she was being chased by SCR-HD and Storm on the computer screen, so Tails left with his team to save her.
When Tails and the others found Amy, they saw SCR-HD had suddenly blown up and Storm had taken its Ark of the Cosmos. While Knuckles thought this would end the robot rampage, Tails figured it would only stop when they removed the Ark of the Cosmos in MeteoTech’s mother computer. As they tried to figure where the mother computer could be, Amy remembered Storm mentioning Gigan Rocks , which held information about the Ark of the Cosmos. Tails and the others therefore went to Gigan Rocks to investigate.
When they came to Gigan Rocks, Tails figured out from the ruins that the Arks of the Cosmos were power units for Babylon Garden . The group then saw the Babylon Rogues chase after Eggman above them, and learned from both that and the ruins the location of MeteoTech’s mother computer. Arriving at this location, the group found the Crimson Tower and met the Babylon Rogues, who told them Eggman had stolen their Arks of the Cosmos. Tails understood that Eggman planned to use them to control all the world's robots, which they realized was the doctor's next plan for world conquest, and both groups raced each other to Eggman.
When they reached Eggman, the doctor was stopped and the robot rampage ended. Following Babylon Garden appearance due to all Arks of the Cosmos being present, Tails and his team left the Arks of the Cosmos to the Babylon Rogues and almost left when Tails realized the Babylonians hid the Arks of the Cosmos to prevent the creation of a black hole . Just then, SCR-HD appeared and took all Arks of the Cosmos to Babylon Garden, transforming it into Astral Babylon and creating a black hole that could destroy the planet. Tails. Knuckles and the Babylon Rogues then followed Sonic to Astral Babylon to disconnect the engine where they met and beat Master Core: ABIS , saving the world.
With the adventure over, Tails returned to Monopole with his friends where he explained why the Arks of the Cosmos made the robots run amok. Tails and then others then saw Jet flying by, who challenged Sonic to a new race, which Sonic accepted.
Sonic Free Riders
Tails in Sonic Free Riders .
In Sonic Free Riders , Tails, Sonic and Knuckles signed up to compete in the second World Grand Prix hosted by Dr. Eggman for the sake of the competition rather than the prizes. As they were interviewed by Omochao though, Tails thought that the races seemed fishy.
To begin with, Team Heroes first opponents were Team Rose where Tails thought it would be a good race while his other teammates thought otherwise. As Amy berated at Sonic for not going easy, Tails defended Sonic by saying that he never holds back and that he thought that Amy liked this trait. Nevertheless, Team Heroes was victorious, with Tails commenting that it was a very easy victory.
Tails and his teammates were then up against Team Dark in their second race. During the race, Knuckles suspected that Team Dark's new member, E-10000B was cheating, but Tails did not witness anything to support Knuckles' claim.
After Tails and his teammates beat Team Dark and got to the finals where they were up against Team Babylon . Between their races, Tails praised Wave's Extreme Gear, but Wave interpreted it as sarcasm though Tails did not intend it. When it seemed like Team Heroes had beaten Team Babylon, it turned out Team Babylon had technical trouble and Tails offered to help take a look at their Gear, but Wave pushed him away. After Sonic then beat Jet in a rematch and secured Team Heroes' victory, Tails and his teammates were commended as the champions and Tails commented to the viewers that he felt more confident working with Extreme Gear now.
As the tournament progressed, Team Heroes had their own losses too, though Tails was still intent to improve his skills. After the tournament was over, Tails and the other teams went to the awards ceremony to collect their prizes but Eggman made all of the competitors race his "ultimate Gear-jockey robot". After the race, Eggman revealed that he used the World Grand Prix to gather the riders' racing data with his E-10000 robots to create the ultimate Extreme Gear which he could use for his own agenda, which made Tails realize Knuckles was right about E-10000B. Eggman then raced Tails and the others but lost, and Tails mocked Eggman. However, they all then saw Metal Sonic emerge from E-10000B and Tails realized Metal Sonic took the data for himself and passed fake info to Eggman, all to beat Sonic on Extreme Gear. Tails then watched Sonic raced against Metal Sonic with the others.
After Sonic beat Metal Sonic and Eggman cursed being tricked, Tails had figured out Eggman never had any prize to give and pointed it out, which disappointed many of the competitors, before he and the others left as the World Grand Prix drew to a close.
Sonic the Hedgehog (2006)
In the Sonic the Hedgehog (2006) , Tails met Sonic in Soleanna . Having heard Sonic tried to protect Princess Elise from Dr. Eggman , Tails offered to help Sonic in his mission to rescue Elise from Eggman. The duo eventually found the Egg Carrier at Wave Ocean and tried to catch it, but failed.
Tails and Sonic facing the Egg Cerberus.
Back in the city, Tails and Sonic learned Eggman was in Dusty Desert . Arriving at Eggman's base, Tails and Sonic found Elise, but then Eggman appeared and ordered his Egg Cerberus to attack them. After defeating the Egg Cerberus, Tails created a diversion that caught Eggman's forces' attention, allowing Sonic to escape with Elise. Some time afterwards, Tails heard from Knuckles that he wanted to see Sonic and asked Tails to bring him. After Tails had brought Sonic, they saw Knuckles had a message from Eggman who demanded that Sonic gave the Chaos Emerald he had in exchange for Elise (whom he kidnapped again).
Though Tails suspected it was a double-cross, he, Sonic and Knuckles went to the doctor's base in White Acropolis , where Sonic gave the Chaos Emerald to Eggman. At that moment, however, Eggman trapped Tails, Sonic and Knuckles in his time machine and sent them to an apocalyptic future . There, the group met Shadow and Rouge and the five of them joined forces to find enough Chaos Emeralds for a Chaos Control powerful enough to get them back to their own present.
While searching for the Chaos Emeralds, Tails, Sonic and Knuckles briefly saw Silver and Blaze talking with Mephiles before they went back in time. As Tails searched their database, the group learned that Elise would die in the Egg Carrier's future crash-landing. After locating a Chaos Emerald in Flame Core , Team Sonic regrouped with Rouge and Shadow, and ventured into the volcano, but had to face Iblis when they found the Chaos Emerald. After Iblis was defeated, Sonic and Shadow use their two Chaos Emeralds to create a time-space rift which Tails, Sonic and Knuckles used to go back to their original timeline.
Back in the present, Tails helped find information on Elise's present whereabouts. Later, when Elise was forced to return to Eggman after having just been saved, Tails went to help Elise upon request from a Maid in Waiting, but did not make it in time. Soon after, Tails helped Sonic through Aquatic Base to save Elise from her death on the Egg Carrier.
Tails and the others discover Sonic's death.
Later, Tails was with Knuckles and Amy in Castle Town when they were caught in a spatial distortion created by Solaris and send to End of the World where they met Shadow, Silver, Rouge, E-123 Omega and Eggman. There, they all found Sonic and Elise, where Tails saw to his sorrow that Sonic was dead, having been killed by Mephiles to remake Solaris. As Solaris prepared to end all of time, however, Elise sensed that Sonic's soul was still among them, so Tails and the others collected all the Chaos Emeralds to revive Sonic and save the world. After witnessing Elise revive Sonic as Super Sonic , Tails supported him, Super Shadow and Super Silver as they defeated Solaris before the were engulfed in light. When Sonic and Elise then ensured Solaris never came to exist, time was reverted, resulting in the events and memories of the adventure being erased and Tails to be returned to where he was prior to the events.
Sonic Rivals series
Sonic Rivals
In Sonic Rivals , Tails came with Sonic to Onyx Island , which had appeared at sea, to investigate it, believing it was one of Dr. Eggman 's evil plots. [25] Just as they arrived, Tails and Sonic found who they thought was Dr. Eggman, but was actually Dr. Eggman Nega in disguise (Tails however, does not realize this throughout the game). Upon meeting him, Eggman Nega showed them a card depicting Amy Rose and explained he had turned Amy into this card with a special camera . Tails tried to explain it was possible for objects to be turned into cards when Sonic doubted Eggman Nega's claim, but was then turned into a card by the doctor. [25] Tails' card was then taken by Eggman Nega, setting Sonic off to save Tails from the doctor.
Eventually, Sonic got Tails' card back after he beat Eggman Nega's Egg Lynx and Tails was restored to normal. Later, Tails came to Sonic and Knuckles ' aid in his new Tornado plane when Eggman Nega escaped, and brought them to the doctor's space base . After Sonic and his allies had foiled Eggman Nega's plans to turn the Earth into a card, Tails and Sonic got Amy back to normal as well. No sooner though, Tails left with Sonic to find the other captives in Eggman Nega’s cards.
Sonic Rivals 2
In Sonic Rivals 2 , Tails discovered some Chao had gone missing on an island and suspected Dr. Eggman was behind it since he was on the island too. Tails then called Sonic to him and told him everything, and they teamed up to find Eggman and get answers. Shortly after, Tails and Sonic met Rogue and Knuckles , where Rouge asked of Eggman's whereabouts. Once Tails told her that and what he and Sonic were doing though, Tails had to chase after Rogue and convince her not to tell Eggman that they were after him when seeing him.
The group eventually found Dr. Eggman, who really was Dr. Eggman Nega disguised as Dr. Eggman (Tails does not realize this throughout the game), but the doctor played innocent about taking the Chao. After beating Eggman Nega's Egg Liner , Tails and Sonic followed the doctor to Sunset Forest Zone where they lost the trail. However, Tails found a lost page of Eggman Nega's describing a creature named the Ifrit . While alone, Tails noticed Espio was following him. Tails told Espio what he and Sonic was doing, but when he refused to say more and Espio insisted they did not get involved in this, Tails had to race and battle Espio to get away.
Soon after, Tails and Sonic, along with Espio and Silver , found Eggman Nega and had to fight his Egg Crawler . After that, Tails and Sonic followed the doctor to Neon Palace Zone where Tails found more pages on the Ifrit. They also bumped into Shadow and Metal Sonic , where Tails began to follow Metal Sonic on Sonic's order, thinking trouble was up. When he caught Metal Sonic though, Tails was forced to fight him briefly. Afterwards, Tails, Sonic, Shadow and Metal Sonic found Eggman Nega again where they had to defeat his Egg Dealer .
As Tails and Sonic tracked Eggman Nega to Frontier Canyon Zone , Tails found another one of the doctor's lost pages on the Ifrit. They also found Knuckles and Rouge again, who needed Rings to fuel their Emerald Detector , and Tails and Sonic agreed to help find some for them. Once Tails had gotten enough Rings, however, Silver came and took them, making Tails chase after him. Soon after, Tails and Sonic found Eggman Nega and fought his Egg Bull against Silver and Espio. After beating Eggman Nega, the doctor revealed he planned to release the Ifrit from a portal within Mystic Haunt Zone , making Tails and Sonic head there to stop the Ifrit.
Inside the mysterious mansion, Sonic and Tails split up to cover more ground. While searching, Tails was forced to face a shape-shifting ghost , but defeated it. Following that, Tails reunited with Sonic and the duo found Eggman Nega with their ghost counterparts. The two of them then faced the doctor in his Egg Phantom and beat it. After that, Tails found the missing Chao, who Eggman Nega planned to feed to the Ifrit to make it invincible, and brought them to a safe place.
With the Chao safe, Tails and Sonic found the slowly closing portal to the Chaotic Inferno Zone , the dimension of the Ifrit, and they went in there to find Eggman Nega. Inside this dimension, Tails and Sonic found the Ifrit, who took control of Sonic's soul, leaving Tails with no choice but to fight both the Ifrit and Sonic to save the world. Though Tails occasionally fell prey to the Ifrit too, he and Sonic beat it and secured it would be left trapped in its dimension. As Tails and Sonic got back to their dimension just before the portal closed, Tails came with Sonic to the Chao Garden to rest up from saving the world.
Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood
In the beginning of Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood , Tails, along with Sonic , Knuckles and Amy , faced Dr. Eggman on the Egg Carrier . With Tails damaging the ship, the team made the Egg Carrier crash into Metropolis which seemingly resulted in Eggman's death.
Tails talking to Sonic about what the Marauders did.
After Sonic went on a solo vacation, Tails spend his time alone, working on machines, helping Knuckles protect the Chaos Emeralds and committed small-time heroics, which made him grow as a person. Some time later, Knuckles asked Tails to help catch a group dubbed the Marauders who had stolen six of the Chaos Emeralds. Tails helped Knuckles by making a trap where Knuckles used the last Chaos Emerald as bait, but when the Marauders came, they jammed the trap, took the Chaos Emerald and kidnapped Knuckles. Tails therefore called Sonic back from his vacation and brought his friends together to find Knuckles.
With G.U.N. 's help and Tails' wit, the team found the Maurauders' hideout and Knuckles. After rescuing Knuckles, they were going to Angel Island to protect the Master Emerald from the Marauders when they discovered that Angel Island was gone. Suspecting Eggman was working with Marauders, the team decided to find the doctor. With Tails' technical skills, the team found Eggman. However, the doctor claimed that he was also against the Marauders and that he had been reformed, willing to help Tails and the others fight the Marauders by leading them into Metropolis where the Marauders had drawn Angel Island to with the Chaos Emeralds, which the team accepted.
On their way, Tails and the team met Shade and discovered that she and the Marauders were a group of echidnas from the Nocturnus Clan, exiled to the Twilight Cage over four millennia ago. Though Tails and his team beat Shade and her lackeys, Shade blocked the way to Metropolis, but Tails and the others found a way around. In Metropolis, Tails stayed behind to work on a non-lethal weapon against the Nocturnus Clan with Eggman and some their friends while Sonic, Knuckles and their team went Angel Island. After help the other team on their way, Tails, Eggman and their team soon got to Angel Island with their weapon and dispatched the echidna soldiers attacking Sonic and Knuckles.
With the soldiers out of the way, Tails and the others joined Sonic in fighting Imperator Ix , the mastermind behind the Nocturnus Clan who sought to rule the world, but were unable to stop Ix from stealing the Master Emerald. Ix then used the Master Emerald to create a wormhole into Sonic’s dimension so the Nocturnus Clan could conquer it, and Angel Island fell from the sky. Having survived the crash, Tails and Eggman had the idea of building a rocket so they could go after Ix into the Twilight Cage and reclaim the stolen Emeralds. Shade also joined them, having realized her leader's evil nature.
With the others' help, Tails and Eggman build the Blue Cyclone to enter the Twilight Cage, though Eggman stayed behind. Inside the Twilight Cage, Tails and his team got five of the Chaos Emeralds back and forged alliances with the alien races in the Twilight Cage. When they prepared to infiltrate Nocturne to find the last Emeralds, the group got help from the different alien races. Once they arrived on Nocturne, the group split into two teams, with Tails and Sonic leading their group and Knuckles and Shade leading the other, to find the last two Emeralds kept by Charyb and Scylla .
On their way, Tails and Sonic helped Knuckles' group defeat some Gizoid Centurions . They then found Charyb and beat him with the help of Knuckles and his team, and reclaim the Chaos Emerald. Once Knuckles got their Chaos Emerald as well, Tails and his team went to Ix’s throne room where they saw Knuckles standing by his duties despite Ix's persuasions and attacked him. Soon after, Tails and the others stepped in and stalled Ix while Knuckles got the Master Emerald back. After Ix was defeated, Ix started to close the wormhole out of the Twilight Cage, but Tails and the others got through it just in time. When they returned home however, Tails and the others saw that much time had passed, thus allowing Eggman to rebuild his forces, which they faced upon exit from the Twilight Cage.
In combat, Tails has low damage power and low armor, but he is quick enough to attack twice in each round. Tails relies on his team to protect him while he supports them with special abilities.
Sonic Unleashed
In Sonic Unleashed , when the Earth broke apart, Tails went to Apotos to gather data, hoping this and his friend Professor Pickle should shred some light on this global crisis. At nightfall, Tails was attacked by Dark Gaia's Minions , but was saved by Sonic the Werehog . Recognizing Sonic despite his new form, Tails heard Sonic and new friend Chip 's story about how it was Eggman who shattered the Earth and gave Sonic his new form. Tails then took Sonic and Chip with him to Spagonia in his Tornado-1 to find Professor Pickle, but when they arrived they learned Eggman had kidnapped the professor.
Tails and his friends find Professor Pickle.
Tails, Sonic and Chip tracked Pickle to Mazuri where they freed him from Eggman's base and reclaimed the stolen Gaia Manuscripts . Afterwards, they learned from Pickle that an ancient creature named Dark Gaia was behind the world's shattering, since it was not fully reborn, they could restore the world and the currently powerless Chaos Emeralds by placing the Emeralds in the Gaia Temples across the world.
From there, Tails assisted Sonic and Chip in restoring the planet by taking them to where the Gaia Temples were. After taking Sonic and Chip to Eggmanland where the last Gaia Temple was, Tails monitored the continent's restoration and reported back to Pickle until the Tornado-1 was attacked. After the planet had been restored and Dark Gaia was defeated, Tails reunited with Sonic at Windmill Isle and followed him out on his next adventure.
Sonic the Hedgehog 4
Episode I
In Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode I , which takes place shortly after the events of Sonic & Knuckles , Tails took his leave from Sonic when the hedgehog went on a break alone. However, when Dr. Eggman returned to rid himself of Sonic with a new army of improved Badniks , Tails secretly supported Sonic during his adventure. When Eggman later escaped to E.G.G. Station Zone , Tails provided Sonic with a rocket he had made to let him follow Eggman. [13]
Episode II
In Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode II , a few months after Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode I, Tails came with Sonic to investigate Dr. Eggman newest scheme on the neighboring continent. [13] Arriving in Sylvania Castle Zone in the Tornado , the duo began investigating. They soon found Eggman and learned the doctor planned to turn Little Planet , which had made its annual return, into a power source for his Death Egg mk.II . As such, the duo chased after Eggman to stop him. During their chase, Tails and Sonic were attack by Metal Sonic , who had returned stronger than ever and had teamed up with Eggman to stop them. In each fight though, the duo beat the robot double.
When they chased Eggman to the Sky Fortress Zone, Tails and Sonic used an escape pod to follow Eggman and Metal Sonic to the Death Egg mk.II before the Sky Fortress exploded. On the space station, they fought Eggman and Metal Sonic until the villains escaped. They soon after met Metal Sonic who wanted a rematch with Sonic, but Tails and Sonic defeated him. The duo then faced Dr. Eggman and his Egg Heart and defeated him, but also made the Death Egg mk.II crash. Tails and Sonic therefore used two escape pods to return home while watching the Death Egg mk.II shut down and be pulled away by Little Planet's orbit.
Sonic Colors
Tails next to Sonic in Tropical Resort .
In Sonic Colors , Tails came with Sonic to Dr. Eggman's Incredible Interstellar Amusement Park , an amusement park made of planets, before its opening day to investigate. [26] Tails, however, remained skeptical about Sonic's theory that the park was one of Dr. Eggman 's evil plans. When they got there, they met a white alien and Tails began reconfiguring his Miles Electric into a translator to comprehend the alien's language while Sonic investigated. When Tails had the translator ready (albeit with a few bugs), he and Sonic learned from the alien, named Yacker, that Eggman was capturing his race, named the Wisp , and that he asked the duo to save them
Agreeing to Yacker's request, Tails and Sonic began exploring the surrounding planet. When Sonic had destroyed a generator , Tails learned from Yacker that Eggman was harvesting the Wisps' Hyper-go-on , and brought the news to Sonic. While exploring another planet, Tails saved Sonic from Eggman's Mind Control Ray , but ended up mind-controlled. Before he could fight Sonic on Eggman's orders though, the machine ran dry and Tails was freed. While Sonic's kept Eggman's robot busy, Tails learned from Yacker that Eggman was using the generators to keep the Wisps' planets captive while he kidnapped them. Relaying this info to Sonic, the duo set out to destroy the remaining generators, believing this would stop Eggman's plans.
The duo continued their journey across Eggman's amusement park, with Tails providing valuable info to Sonic. After the generators had been destroyed and the Wisps freed, Tails and Sonic returned to the Tropical Resort where they began celebrating their victory with the Wisps. However, when the amusement park began to collapse due to Eggman's mind control cannon backfiring when the doctor tried to use it, Tails and Sonic escaped to Eggman's space elevator to go home, but was met by Eggman in the Nega-Wisp Armor who wanted Sonic destroyed. As Tails feared they could not beat this robot, he was pushed into the elevator by Sonic for safety and send back to Earth . Back home, Tails was reunited with Sonic when the Wisps brought him back from his battle with Eggman. After the Wisps had quelled the black hole created from the mind control cannon, Tails and Sonic met Yacker again who thanked them for helping, but now had to leave. Though saddened, Tails understood and said farewell to Yacker and watched the Wisps leave with the kidnapped planets.
Sonic Generations
In Sonic Generations , some time after Sonic Colors , Tails attended and helped prepare Sonic 's surprise birthday party. After Sonic arrived, Tails gave Sonic a birthday chili dog when the Time Eater appeared and sucked Tails into one of its Time Holes. Tails then ended up in the White Space , where he was turned into a statue due to the Time Eater's effects.
Modern and Classic Tails explain their situation to the Sonics.
Tails was soon returned to normal thanks to Sonic and they teamed up to find the rest of their friends taken by the Time Eater. While Sonic was gone though, Tails briefly met Sonic's past self, Classic Sonic, but believed him to be the present Sonic (named Modern Sonic). While Modern and Classic Sonic passed through a Boss Gate , Tails met his past self, named Classic Tails, as well. Once the Sonics returned, both Modern and Classic Tails had figured out they were all traveling through time and space.
With the Time Eater at large, the Tails' and Sonics teamed up to stop it. While the Sonics worked on restoring their friends and areas, Classic and Modern Tails got them intel on how the Time Eater was ripping space apart, that the Sonics speed was the key to restoring space and time and finally, the Chaos Emeralds were the Time Eater's weakness, which they set their sights on collecting. When the Tails' and Classic Sonic came to see Dr. Eggman defeated by Modern Sonic in the Egg Dragoon , they saw Eggman being taken by the Time Eater , which confused them since the Sonics said the Time Eater already had kidnapped him.
After getting the Chaos Emeralds and freeing their friends, the Tails' followed the Sonics to the domain of the Time Eater for the final showdown. There, Dr. Eggman and his past self, Classic Eggman, revealed themselves as the ones behind the Time Eater in an attempt to erase Sonic from history so that the doctors would be victorious in the present. When the Sonics were knocked out the Time Eater, however, the Tails' and their friends cheered them on, allowing them both to transform into Super Sonic . When the Sonics defeated the Time Eater, the Tails' and their friends were sent back to the present and their party. Once the time came for Classic Tails and Classic Sonic to return their time during the party, Classic and Modern Tails said their goodbyes to each other as they went their separate ways.
Sonic Lost World
In Sonic Lost World , Tails and Sonic were pursuing Dr. Eggman , Orbot and Cubot in the Tornado to free the Animals they had caught. When Eggman dropped a Capsule with Animals, Tails and Sonic went after it, until the Tornado's wing was shot by Eggman. As they fell, Tails and Sonic stumbled upon the Lost Hex . Landing there, Tails would repair the Tornado while Sonic investigated the area. Once he was done, he and Sonic went to find Eggman and his newest allies, the Deadly Six .
Tails harmed in the Deadly Six's attack.
Eventually, Tails and Sonic found Eggman scolding the Deadly Six. Though Tails tried warning Sonic not to touch the conch Eggman used to control the Deadly Six with after examining it, Sonic knocked it away, causing the Deadly Six to rebel against Eggman by talking control of his Badniks and having them attack everyone. In the skirmish, Tails was injured. prompting Sonic to take him to safety as he fled with Eggman and his lackeys.
After escaping, Tails and Sonic left Eggman and his lackeys to stop the Deadly Six. In the meantime, he and Sonic were contacted by Amy , who informed them that something was sucking the world of life. Reuniting with Eggman, the doctor revealed the Deadly Six were using his Extractor to destroy the Earth . The parties thus teamed to stop the Deadly Six, planning to get Eggman through the Zeti so he could shut the Extractor down properly.
On the way, Tails grew resentful at Sonic for entrusting Eggman to stop the Extractor rather than him. The group was soon after briefly contacted by Zavok , who stated the futility of their actions, but they continued on no less. In the meantime, Tails tried repairing Cubot after the Deadly Six's attack, but was attacked by Cubot when he put his head on a Crabmeat . Unexpectedly, Tails was saved by Eggman, though he still got scolded by Sonic.
Tails disguised as "Robo Tails".
The group later stumbled upon a Capsule. Discovering it was a trap set by the Deadly Six, Tails saved Sonic from it when he tried to open it, though he got caught in it himself and teleported to the Deadly Six, who had planned to capture Sonic. While in their captivity, Tails was nearly roboticized by Zavok to be used as a weapon against Sonic, but Tails used one of his twin-tails to stop the Roboticizer . Disguising himself, Tails tricked the Deadly Six into thinking he had become their slave. Then, when he was send to kill Sonic, Tails attacked Zavok, Zeena and Zor by surprise, enabling Sonic finish them.
With the Zeti beaten, Tails and Sonic reached the Extractor only find it turned off. Eggman then showed up in a new mech , having faked his death earlier so that he could charge his mech while Sonic fought the Deadly Six, and planned conquer the remains of the world. After Sonic beat Eggman, Tails reprogrammed the Extractor to return the Earth's energy while accepting Sonic's apology for doubting him, mending their friendship. With Eggman incapacitated in the meantime, Tails and Sonic returned to Amy and Knuckles on Earth, where Tails saw Sonic take a nap to rest from their ordeal.
Other game appearanes
Tails speeding through Palmtree Panic .
In Sonic the Hedgehog CD , Tails was not initially a playable character in the game, having only been reduced to mild cameo appearances as a picture and in the Tornado during the game's sound test . The likely reason for this is because it entered development with Sonic the Hedgehog 2 around the same time, so the game's design did not consider Tails in the final release. When it was decided that Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode II would reference the events of Sonic the Hedgehog CD, Tails was added as a playable character in the 2011 re-release of Sonic CD to further connect to it. He goes through a similar progression as Sonic's story, except he does not encounter Amy Rose or have animated cutscenes. He can also freely fly, but does not have the Super Peel Out technique. There is no gameplay mode in which Tails follows Sonic. Also, the player is unable to collect trophies/achievements while playing as Tails.
Sonic Drift series
Tails and his MTP-Whirlwind as being featured in Sonic Drift .
Tails is a playable character in the game Sonic Drift , where he races along fellow friends Sonic the Hedgehog and Amy Rose , and arch-enemy Dr. Eggman. In the game, Tails is racing in the Chaos Grand Prix and is the most balanced of the four racers. Tails' special ability is the ability to "Jump", literally flying his kart into the air for about three seconds, where he gains temporary "invincibility" to his surroundings and objects; he is also unaffected by terrain while doing this, so if the player has gone off the course, it's best to maneuver back over to the track.
Tails is also playable in the sequel Sonic Drift 2 , where he is racing in the Second Chaos Grand Prix. Tails is once again the most balanced of all the racers. Tails' special ability is still the ability to "Jump", literally flying his kart into the air, but for about five seconds instead of three, like in the original.
Knuckles' Chaotix
Tails in the Tornado with Sonic on top flying above Team Chaotix.
Tails and Sonic appeared as cameo appearances in the Sega 32X game Knuckles' Chaotix , where they fly by in the Tornado during the good ending cutscene.
Sonic and Tails were originally playable in this game, or at least planned to be as the very first prototype or precursor for the concept of the game ( Sonic Crackers ). When the game was made to be Knuckles' Chaotix, early prototypes of the game featured Sonic and Tails as playable characters. Over time, Tails' data was coded into a sprite of a glitchy white Knuckles recolor dubbed Wechnia by fans. "Wechnia" was able to fly with the data of Tails, and eventually was changed to a more unique attack style but was deemed a failure and was never finished. Eventually, Sonic's data was created into Mighty the Armadillo , who performed near identical to how Sonic had and most simply put, was appearance-wise a recolored clone of Sonic's sprites without spikes.
Mario & Sonic series
Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games
In Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games , Tails is one of the 16 playable characters (8 being from Sonic's universe) as a Skill-type character.
Tails has missions in both DS version and Wii version of Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games . The DS Missions are:
Don't miss any shots in shooting
Don't make mistakes on your four performance command inputs in Vault
Earn GOOD rating 8 times in your performance at Trampoline
Hit the center of the target to score 10 points under strong wind conditions
Reach the goal without taking damage (hitting spike fences or getting hit by opponents items. Shield protects you from failing)
Beat Yoshi in Dream Canoe
Wii version missions are:
Tails at his vehicle in Sonic & Sega All-Stars Racing .
In Sonic & Sega All-Stars Racing , Tails appears as a playable character. In this game he created both his and Sonic's race cars, the Tornado Racer and the Speed Star. His All-Star move is Tails Tornado. This move creates a tornado that sucks up other racers and items that get in his way.
The Tornado Racer was built as a land based version of the Tornado capable of making fast turns with its short wing span. It was built with parts found after an attempted invasion by Dr. Eggman.
The Tornado Racer's engine output most likely was limited on purpose by Tails as if it were faster it would fly like a normal plane. The Tornado Racer has enough speed to hover over the ground, so its power was limited just enough, also if it gets launched off of a hill, it has a very slow descent suggesting its capabilities of flight. Also during Tails' Tornado, the Tornado Racer flies in the air with the tornado that the move creates.
Sonic & All-Stars Racing Transformed
In Sonic & All-Stars Racing Transformed , Tails is a playable character. With the games new form of gameplay with transforming vehicles, Tails no longer rides the mini bi-plane Tornado Racer, he instead rides a Formula-1 race car that appears to be a modified version of his MTP-01 Whirlwind from Sonic Drift (a possible reference to said game). When going over land the Formula-1 racer remains in its normal state, when going across water it turns into a speedboat. Its flying form has wings that have fins that stick out on the top and bottom and a small, yet powerful jet engine and what appears to be a spoiler.
Sonic Storybook series
Main article: Ali Baba
Tails as Ali Baba.
In Sonic and the Secret Rings , Tails is a playable character in Party Mode , but during the main story he acts as a guide, with his likeness used for Ali Baba in place of Tails himself. Sonic mistakes him for the actual Tails, but Ali Baba does not know what he's talking about.
The Ali Baba that is represented in this story is exactly like Tails, in the fact that he knows how to fly using his two tails as shown in a cutscene. He also has a personality like Tails as they are very kind and enjoy helping their friends. Ali Baba also went on numerous adventures with Sonic along with Sinbad (Knuckles' counterpart) before Sonic was transported out of the book, this is exactly like the friendship of Sonic, Tails and Knuckles back at home. In Multiplayer, normal Tails is a playable character along with Sonic, Knuckles, Amy, Cream, Silver, Shadow and Blaze.
Sonic and the Black Knight
Main article: Blacksmith
In Sonic and the Black Knight , he is portrayed as a blacksmith that Sonic goes to have Caliburn sharpened. He is playable in multiplayer mode. In multi-player mode he uses a slingshot as his weapon. He is amazed at Caliburn's details and the fact that Caliburn can talk. Once he resharpens Caliburn, Sonic is able to use his Soul Surge . Sonic can then return to him before missions to equip items, check his stats and forge new weapons for the other Knights of the Round Table.
Like Tails' Arabian Nights counterpart Ali Baba, the Blacksmith counterpart is exactly like Tails, in the fact that he knows how to fly with his two tails as shown in Multiplayer Mode. He also has a personality like Tails as he enjoys helping his friends and is very kind. Unlike in Sonic and the Secret Rings, normal Tails is not playable in Multiplayer Mode, his Blacksmith counterpart is playable instead.
Other Appearances
It has been confirmed that in the unreleased Sonic X-treme , which was in development for the Sega Saturn platform, Tails would have appeared, playing in a first person flight mode. Sonic the Hedgehog CD contains Tails in the form of a piece of artwork that features him standing next to a race car that has MILES on the license plate with the caption "SEE YOU NEXT GAME" above the car - a possible reference to Sonic Drift for the Game Gear , which was released the following year. He can also be spotted in the game's sound test, hovering around Little Planet in the Tornado . He was added as a playable character in the December 2011 re-release of Sonic the Hedgehog CD , as well as the May 2013 re-release of the original Sonic the Hedgehog . In the latter, he can also follow Sonic around, despite the fact the two have canonically not met at this point. He also appears in Mario & Sonic at the Sochi 2014 Olympic Winter Games .
Personality
Tails' profile in Sonic Jam .
Tails is a gentle-hearted, sweet-natured and loyal fox with a positive attitude. [23] In his beginnings, he was initially timid and quiet, [27] but he has opened up and become more outgoing over the years. Tails is not one to grab the spotlight for himself and is instead always ready to willing help others without asking for anything in return.
Tails has a distinct love for mechanics and he finds himself most at home in his workshop working on his next creation. Despite his great skills, Tails is very humble about his abilities, [28] never giving them many thoughts, though he has yet to discover his true potential of what he can accomplish. [29] At the time of Sonic Lost World , Tails has become more confident and outspoken about his intelligence, though he still does not openly brag. Regardless, he has been known to mock Eggman's own creations, and sometimes Eggman himself.
When young, Tails often lacked self-confidence and courage. After meeting Sonic and gaining his support, Tails gained more confidence and belief in himself. However, this status quo, created from Sonic's authority over him put a mental stranglehold on Tails that made him dependent on Sonic. As such, he often lacked directions and confidence whenever he was on his own.
A turning point for Tails came in Sonic Adventure ; when Station Square was in danger of being destroyed, Tails was the only one who could stop this. With Sonic nowhere to be found, Tails realized that he could not depend on Sonic forever and had to try on his own. After saving Station Square, Tails realized he could be independent and support himself without Sonic, and all he needed was determination and faith. Since then, Tails has become more independent, self-confident, motivated and brave, and can as well rise up to be a real hero when needed.
Twin tails
Tails using his two-tails to keep up with Sonic .
Tails' unique trait is his genetic abnormality that has granted him two large, fluffy tails that can twirl together. During his lifetime, Tails has learned to use his two tails to his advantage in many situations, which is usually for transportation or unique combat moves.
Tails' most noticeable skill with his twin tails is his ability to achieve flight with them. By twirling his twin tails around like rotary blades, he can lift himself off the ground and fly around in mid-air like a helicopter. While in flight, Tails can move around with outstanding agility and mobility at incredible speeds, which let him keep up with even Sonic , who can run on average 768 mph. In addition to his twin tails' flying skills, by manipulating the curviture of his tails he can glide through midair or use them as a turbine to push himself forward while hovering slightly above ground to achieve extra speed matching those of Sonic's speed. However, depending on altitude of flight, he lacks the stamina to maintain his flight pattern while and he admitted in Sonic Generations that his speed cannot match Sonic's.
Tails using his tail to ruin the Deadly Six 's plan.
Tails' twin tails are shown to be very powerful limbs in their own right, being both strong and fast enough to slice through metal. In combat, Tails can also use his twin tails for different fighting moves and techniques. His tails are also shown to be prehensile, as in Sonic Lost World where he grabs a toothpick from Zomom 's sandwich with one of his tails and uses it to reprogram a machine that was going to turn him into a brainwashed robot.
Physical abilities
Like many of the other characters in the Sonic the Hedgehog series , Tails can run at super speeds. Although his running speed is considered average, [30] Tails has proven himself an exceptionally fast runner on several occasions. In the ending of Sonic Heroes, he could keep up with Sonic by running and in Sonic Colors he could move enough to block even Sonic's movements when he was controlled by Dr. Eggman. Tails is also quite physically strong as he is able to lift both Sonic and Knuckles into midair within hindering his own flying speed and move blocks that supposedly weights several tons .
Tails possesses great acrobatic skills, agility and reflexes. He is capable of setting off and jumping accurately between stone pillars, grinding on rails, and performing different kinds of body movements and tricks while airborne. He is also quite good at swimming: by using his twin tails as rear propellers, Tails can move underwater at significant speeds and great ease.
Tails is capable of harnessing chaos energy to empower himself, though he has only done this during on rare occasions, such as in Sonic the Fighters and Sonic Heroes .
Intelligence and mechanical skills
Despite his young age, Tails has a genius-level intellect and is a natural prodigy when it comes to mechanics, being an extremely capable inventor and mechanic. In fact, Tails' skills in mechanics even rivals those of Dr. Eggman , though he has yet to reach his full potential in this field. Over the years, Tails has been known to create more than a few mechanical items of his own which have proven useful over time. These creations includes his various technological advanced, and often transformable, Tornado series of airplanes, his various combat equipments, his Chaos Emerald locater, the Sea Fox , the Lunar Fox , and his multifunctional Miles Electric to name a few. When given a piece of technology, Tails only needs to take a few looks on it to determine its functions, elements and purposes, even for the highly advanced Gizoid androids. In Sonic Lost World , Tails claimed he is smart enough to build a TV out of paperclips and reprogram a supercomputer using a toothpick and dishwashing detergent.
When it comes to new forms of construction, Tails is quick to grasp new technologies, such as Material technology, and once he develops an understanding of it, excels on the subject in question. In the fields of Extreme Gear mechanics, Tails has great skills at tuning and constructing different kinds of Extreme Gear. Though he is not as skilled in Extreme Gear mechanics as Wave the Swallow , his skills on the subject is great enough to impress Wave, which is a considerable feat given her standpoint for good Extreme Gear mechanics.
Tails is also quite brilliant in science and physics. When dealing with matters involving the fabric of time and space or other theoretical situations, Tails can quickly come up with solid theories to how certain events will occur. In line with his mechanical skills, Tails can even construct vessels that can travel between dimensions or withstand trans-dimensional interference. As seen in Sonic Colors, Tails can also read and translate Binary and Hexadecimal language. He also have some knowledge about ancient legends, such as the one about the Babylonians .
Tails seems to know more about the Chaos Emeralds than most characters, being able to create a duplicate that can cause Chaos Control.
Combat skills
Though not as seasoned a brawler as most other characters in the series, Tails is a quite accomplished fighter. On his own, Tails has defeated several of Dr. Eggman robots and combat mech and even single-handedly fought and defeated the entire Battle Bird Armada and Witchcart and her minions. Even more so, he was able to go up against Knuckles the Echidna .
Fighting style
In direct combat, Tails lacks in raw hand-to-hand combat skills and physical superiority. Instead, he focuses more on using his strong points, such as his twin tails, gadgets and knowhow about logic and tactics to aid him in combat and cover his weaknesses.
Normally, Tails focuses primarily on providing support to his allies. In close-quarter battles, Tails relies on his own unique fighting where he uses a blend of basic punches and kicks and foremost strikes with his trademark twin tails. When applying his twin tails in combat, Tails can use them to lash out at his foes by twirling them around or swinging them like a whip, allowing him to deal significantly stronger strikes with greater range than what he normally would be capable of with his legs and arms. When not fighting opponents head-on, Tails focuses on aerial combat, taking it to the air from where he has aerial and mobility advantages over his opponent and can launch aerial attacks at foes or fly at them with greater speed to build up charges.
As shown on several occasions, to complement his chances in more fierce battles, Tails often uses various mechanical devices of his own creation, such as his Magic Hand , Energy Cannon and Big Hand as seen in in Sonic Battle , to improve his battle prowess in close combat. Another example is his Cyclone mech, which he used to destroy G.U.N. 's numerous forces in Sonic Adventure 2 .
Techniques and moves
Tails' trademark attack is his Tail Swipe technique, where he twirls his twin tails around to attack his opponents, and has developed several unique attacks from it, such as his Super Tail Swipe , a much faster version of the regular variant, his Rapid Tails Attack , which enabled him to attack with his twin tails by continuously spinning around, and his Tornado Attack , where he spins his tails around like a tornado.
Tails can also perform the Spin Attack , Spin Jump and the Spin Dash , having possibly learned them from Sonic.
From Sonic Heroes and onward, Tails has been shown using several Dummy Ring attacks. The first attack is "Dummy Ring Bomb", which throws multiple Dummy Rings that explode on impact, "Dummy Ring Snipe", which allows him to aim and throw a Dummy Ring, and "Dummy Ring Blitz", which throws a huge amount of Dummy Rings to explode on impact.
Miscellaneous skills
As shown with his various Tornado biplanes, Tails has excellent air piloting skills, and has aerial dogfighting skills to go along with them, as seen during his and Sonic's attack on the Egg Carrier in Sonic Adventure, and in Sonic Unleashed .
While not only being talented with Extreme Gear mechanics, Tails is also, in his own right, a talent Extreme Gear rider, and possibly one of the best in the world, as he has proven himself capable of going up against the Babylon Rogues , who are considered the best Extreme Gear riders in the world. He also has enough skills to ride his Extreme Gear through mid-air with great precisions and control over his movements.
Transformations
Main article: Super Tails
By using the seven Super Emeralds , and later the Chaos Emeralds , Tails can enter a Super State , transforming him into Super Tails. In this state, all of Tails' abilities far surpasses his normal ones, and he is as well able to fly without his twin-tails and is nearly invulnerable. However, this transformation consumes a lot of energy and requires Rings to be maintained.
Color Powers
Main article: Color Power
By harnessing different variants of Hyper-go-on from Wisps , Tails can use specific Color Powers to transform into a certain form, such as a drill, a laser or even a planet, each one possessing its own unique abilities. So far, Tails has been able to transform into the Cyan Laser , Yellow Drill and Indigo Asteroid . However, these transformations require a steady supply of Hyper-go-on to be maintained.
Weaknesses
Tails has a tendency to talk too much as shown in Sonic Adventure 2 when he reveals to Dr. Eggman that the Chaos Emerald Sonic was trying to give him was a fake. He is also said to be afraid of lightning and ghosts, as he can be sometimes heard screaming when ghosts appeared in Hang Castle and Mystic Mansion on Sonic Heroes .
Tails occasionally lacks self-confidence but has been shown to get over this weakness on some occasions.
One of Tails' bigger weaknesses is his meekness towards women. He is easily flustered, something typically attributed to his young age. This allows him to be easily manipulated by Amy's overzealousness or Rouge's flirtatious nature should they want his help.
Tails also says in Sonic Heroes, Shadow the Hedgehog, and Sonic the Hedgehog (2006) that he gets dizzy easily; although this apparently does not affect him when he uses a Spin Dash, Tails Attack, Rapid Tails Attack or Spinball Jump. In Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode II , Tails can be seen with stars over his head indicating dizziness after performing a Tornado Combo, though this only happens if he crashes into something, signifying that he is dazed due to the impact.
Relationships
Tails has many friends besides Sonic , and his skills are respected by everyone who knows him. Tails mostly treats and respects all his friends the same with a humble and somewhat passive attitude.
Sonic the Hedgehog
Sonic and Tails showing their brotherly relationship.
Sonic is Tails' best friend, as the two have been inseparable since they first met shortly before the events of Sonic the Hedgehog 2 . On Westside Island , Tails saw Sonic running at incredibly high speeds. He was impressed by the cool blue hedgehog and began to follow. Sonic eventually stopped and the two became close friends. He began to hang out around Sonic at all times of the day, catching up with him using his two tails. Eventually, Tails spotted Sonic's Tornado plane, which he grew fond of and is usually seen borrowing it.
Sonic and Tails were always there to help each other, their friendship growing until they had a more brotherly relationship. It is often that Tails invents machines for Sonic in his help and also made him three Extreme Gears . In Sonic Advance 3 , they are known as the "Unbreakable Bond" when they team up. In Sonic Rivals 2 it is shown that Sonic trains Tails to learn how to run and fight in their free time. Whenever Sonic has an adventure to explore, he always comes to Tails and asks him to come along and Tails is always ready to help. Tails also used to depend on Sonic a lot, but later realized that he cannot depend on him forever. Sonic is also an idol to Tails, and Tails just wants to be as heroic as he is.
Despite his admiration of him, Tails can sometimes get impatient and annoyed by Sonic's fast-paced behavior and attitude. He downright hates when Sonic ignores him as seen in Sonic Adventure , and he gets annoyed when Sonic leaves him hanging when he runs off or when he is planning to do reckless things without much thinking, such as when Sonic planned to just smash the Extractor in Sonic Lost World . Despite facing such cases though, Tails remains loyal to Sonic and stands by his his side to aid him no matter what.
In Sonic Colors , Tails was great help to Sonic and was with him throughout the game. Tails cares enough for Sonic to even sacrifice himself to be a victim of Eggman's mind-control whilst pushing Sonic out of the way. Tails also embarrassed Sonic when he was talking to a giant broken robot and continues to tease him about it. In the end, he however doubted that Sonic could beat Eggman and was impressed when Sonic was able to not only do just that, but also live through the following explosion.
In Sonic Generations , Tails threw Sonic a surprise birthday party and made Sonic a special chili dog . Tails was the first one restored in the White Space and remains with Sonic for the remainder of the game and story. Tails and Sonic talk about the strangeness of the areas that they are going though like the Green Hill that looked like "Someone sucked all the life and color out of it".
In Sonic Lost World , Tails' friendship with Sonic became strained when they formed an alliance with Eggman. Believing that Sonic trusted Eggman, his own nemesis, more than him to shut down the Extractor , Tails became rather frustrated and angry at Sonic's lack of faith in him and even got into an argument with him when he told about how much it hurt thinking that Sonic trusted Eggman more. It became further strained when Sonic scolded Tails for putting Cubot's head on a battle mech, which caused Cubot to almost kill Tails. At the end of the game though, Sonic apologizes for doubting Tails and Tails forgave him, mending their brotherly bond.
Amy Rose
For the most part, Amy Rose and Tails have a very friendly relationship as they are usually together when they and Sonic are out saving the world. Tails, Sonic, and Amy interact with each other often because Amy usually tries to tag along with Sonic and Tails when they are trying to beat Eggman, thus making them friends along the process. Sonic uses Tails to distract Amy in order to escape from her or avoid contact during mission, Tails usually responds to this with a lack of confidence as he too is not a fan of her anger.
Amy also at times will come to Tails' aid and defend him when she can, like when Wave the Swallow insulted Tails, where Amy got infuriated whilst challenging Wave to a race. Tails has also saved Amy numerous times when Sonic could not, to which she is very grateful. When the Egg Carrier was losing altitude and about to crash Sonic told Tails to act quickly and take Amy to safety. Tails also saved Amy a few more times from Eggman on Prison Island, as well as saving Amy along with Sonic from the exploding Prison Island, and finally saving Amy from Eggman on the Space Colony ARK at gunpoint.
Knuckles the Echidna
Tails is also close friends with Knuckles. They converse more than Knuckles does with Sonic, and although he is not as much a rival to Knuckles as Sonic is, Tails does occasionally tend to irritate Knuckles with his technobabble. Knuckles seems to enjoy teasing Tails from time to time, such as when he scares Tails with the idea that they fought with Shadow's ghost just before Hang Castle Zone in Sonic Heroes . Despite this, Knuckles is probably Tails' best friend after Sonic. Knuckles has shown that he cares for Tails, such as when he assured Tails that Eggman is nothing to worry about they join Sonic at the start in Sonic Heroes, or when he furiously defended Tails after Wave mocked Tails in Sonic Riders . Even though they are good friends, Tails and Knuckles have fought each other numerous times, usually when Knuckles has been tricked by Eggman, but in the end, there are never hard feelings between them.
Dr. Eggman
In every game since his debut, Tails has been one of Eggman's biggest enemies along with Sonic, whether he is against him head on or helping out Sonic in any way he can. At first, Tails was useful as a hostage, which later turned into a worse situation for Eggman. Eggman's plans are always foiled by Sonic and Tails, sometimes because he targets one and forgets about the other (this occurred in Sonic Adventure 2 , when Eggman was stopped by Tails on the Space Colony ARK after he blasted Sonic into space; it also happens in numerous episodes of Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog ).
In Sonic Adventure , Eggman had to race Tails to the missile he launched into Station Square , but could not reach it in time. He retaliated by using the giant Egg Walker , but was again stopped by Tails. In Sonic Adventure 2, Tails had a rivalry with Dr. Eggman , fighting him directly in the Cyclone twice - once on Prison Island (to which Eggman said "I can't lose to Tails!" after being defeated), the second time on the Space Colony ARK, after Eggman blasted Sonic into space. After this, the rivalry seemed to cease, and Eggman and Tails were seen talking to each other in a somewhat civil way at the end of the game. Eggman also seemed to develop a respect and liking for him during the events of Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood , due to their shared skill with machines.
In Sonic Colors , Eggman charged up a mind control beam and shot it at Sonic, but Tails quickly pushed Sonic out of the way so that he got hit instead. Eggman used this to his advantage and made Tails run at supersonic speeds to block Sonic's way. Eggman then dared Sonic to fight his best friend to get to him, but Sonic refused. Eggman kept pushing and prepared Tails for an attack, but the mind control device then ran out of energy.
In Sonic Generations , Classic Robotnik asked Modern Eggman who all of Sonic's "modern" friends were. Modern Eggman's reply was that they were insignificant and that they should only worry about Sonic and Tails, believing they are the only real threats.
In Sonic Lost World , Tails dislikes working with Eggman even more than Sonic does, making a comment about Cubot's voice chip looking like it was made by a two-year-old and wanting to fight him. However, Eggman later saves Tails from being attacked by an aggressive Cubot. After Tails is captured, Eggman says they should make sure Tails' sacrifice wasn't in vain. They become enemies again after the Deadly Six are defeated and Eggman reemerges as the villain.
Shadow the Hedgehog
Shadow and Tails were at first enemies in Sonic Adventure 2 because Shadow was impersonating Sonic and got him thrown in jail at Prison Island. Towards the end of the game they became Allies when they had to save the planet from the Space Colony Ark. For the most part Tails and Shadow have remained allies, but like Sonic have turned into rivals because of their goals.
Such times they have been rivals are in Sonic Heroes, Sonic Battle, and Sonic Rivals 2. In Sonic Heroes they fought very briefly because Shadow and Rouge had provoked Team Sonic into fighting them. In Sonic Battle Shadow and Tails fought at the end of Tails' Story because Tails resisted giving up Emerl to Shadow. Shadow threatened Tails that he would have to give Emerl up or else they would fight for him, Tails admitted that he admires Shadow's spirit but would not give up in a fight. When Tails won the fight Shadow warned him that he would be back again to get Emerl, but Rouge showed up and told Shadow to go back to Night Babylon. In Sonic Rivals 2. Shadow and Metal Sonic confronted Tails and Sonic because they were all going after Eggman.
Shadow and Tails also get along very well together. In Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood, Tails and Shadow work very well together and support each others ideas. Also, when Eggman suggests they build a weapon to hurt the enemy, and Tails says he has a better idea, Shadow with a smile asks why he is not surprised. Shadow is actually the second most helpful member of Tails' Team in Metropolis, helping Tails with numerous mechanical ideas with Eggman. He is also very helpful if the player is looking for Omega often giving tips to tell of where Omega would have gone if he gotten the chance. If the player succeeds in finding Omega, Shadow thanks Tails for helping him. Despite their disagreements, Tails still respects Shadow to a certain point and has believed in his capabilities during their many adventures. [31] [32]
Wave the Swallow
Wave and Tails are rivals in inventions, since they both are smart. In Sonic Riders Wave was impressed by Tails' inventions but could not admit it saying that he made "a piece of junk". She teases Tails by calling him "shorty". In Sonic Riders: Zero Gravity , the two do not seem to rival each other in anything. When Wave was hurt by the robots in the game, Tails is seen in the screen trying to help her get up. In Sonic Free Riders , she keeps the same attitude towards him like how she was in Sonic Riders. Once again, they do not talk much or show much rivalry until in one scene when Tails examines the gears and compliments it. Wave, however, does not take his comment seriously and rudely asks him if he was being sarcastic.
Rouge the Bat
Tails and Rouge have a friendly relationship but Rouge sometimes adds complications to it. They will usually get along but Rouge will sometimes playfully tease Tails to get a reaction from him.
In Sonic Adventure 2 , Tails was basically unaware of Rouge's presence, but this was because Rouge was sent by Eggman to spy on Tails when he was trying to find the President . After that their interaction stopped until the Ark was set on its collision course with Earth. In Sonic Battle , Rouge would use her charm to tease Tails because she thought it was cute and funny how he reacted. She was however very helpful in Tails' story as she gave him the access card for the Central Computer Room, distracted Shadow, and told Tails how to escape the Guard Robos. Later on in Rouge's story Tails had to stop Rouge from stealing a Chaos Emerald. In Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood , while in Metropolis Rouge would sometimes be snarky with the plans Tails and Eggman would come up with but still show a playful affection for Tails.
Cream the Rabbit
Tails and Cream are good friends with each other either by supporting each other or just spending time with each other. Throughout the games there is not much contact between the two but it is understood that they get along very well when they are shown throughout some story cutscenes.
The only game they have really interacted with each other is in Sonic Free Riders , Tails said that Cream's Extreme Gear was really good in the race to which Cream replied "Well, sure! That means a lot coming from you, Mr. Tails!". They also interacted in Sonic Rush in which Tails is protective of Cream, telling her to stay away from Blaze as she was a suspect. Cream also compliments Tails to Blaze telling her that he is "neat".
In the Mario & Sonic series handheld versions, they seem to be friendly as well. In the London version , after the Phantasmal Fog clones try to attack Cream, Tails assures her she'll be safe while Mario, Sonic and Luigi hold them back. He then lashes out at the clones for trying to attack her. In the Rio version , they are partners for Beach Volleyball on day 2 of Mario's Story. Cream states that they have "the bestest teamwork."
In some games Cream is Amy's equivalent of Tails to Sonic, often helping Amy out or trying to get her out of bad situations like Amy's compulsion to push herself too far especially when aroused to anger.
E-123 Omega
Currently Tails is the only one of Sonic's friends to have even spoken to Omega, with the others including Sonic only briefly coming into contact, either not knowing who he is or fighting him like in Sonic Heroes . While Tails was leading his Team through Metropolis in Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood , he had to try and convince Omega to join their team and believe that Eggman was on their side. Omega replied saying Tails was crazy for believing that Eggman could be good, however was convinced by Shadow to believe Tails. Later on Tails asked Omega for help with the credits for the end of the game.
Friends/allies
Tails' Mechanical Creations
Tails in the Tornado.
Although Tails can fly by twirling his two tails like the blades of a helicopter, he also enjoys flying Sonic 's red biplane, the Tornado . As the series progressed, it was obvious his interest in the old biplane went further than just piloting it - Tails is a prodigy with mechanics, and he has a mechanical ability equal to that of Dr. Eggman 's (though Tails has not appeared to have built a completely sentient robot). As a result, many modifications were made to the Tornado, as well as new biplanes and a small, blue submarine called the " Sea Fox ", a spaceship called the "Lunar Fox", and a race car called the "Whirlwind S7," which is clearly based on the Lotus/Catherham Super Seven (hence the name). In Tails Adventure he built a small remote-controlled robot in his image to help him on his quest.
In Sonic Adventure , Tails was experimenting with a Chaos Emerald -powered prototype plane based on the Tornado, Tornado 2. The Tornado 2 has two modes: one is quite similar to the original Tornado, but with a button press, Tails could make it transform into a rather futuristic-looking little plane which outperformed the Tornado in all but one important function - landing gear. Big the Cat ended up flying the wrecked Tornado 2 to his home after Sonic and Tails crash-landed on Eggman's flying fortress, the Egg Carrier .
In Sonic Adventure 2 , Tails had a new plane, the Tornado III. The Tornado III has three modes: a plane mode, a car mode, and a walker mode. The airplane is only seen in cut-scenes; the car is used on only one level (In the Kart mini game, Tails uses a go-kart); the walker mode, called the Cyclone , is used most during the game. Tails uses the Cyclone during all other gameplay, except when visiting the Chao Garden . The old Tornado 2 then appears in cutscenes in both Sonic Heroes and Sonic Riders . In Shadow the Hedgehog , the Tornado III reappeared as its Sonic Adventure 2 version.
In Sonic Battle , Tails comes equipped with an arm cannon that fires electrical energy, presumably of his own invention.
In Sonic Rush Adventure , Tails constructs six new vehicles with the first four being playable while the last two only appear in cutscenes. The first is the Wave Cyclone which is a water-bike that has a effective boost function that can plow through enemies, a sail boat called the Ocean Tornado that is armed with machine guns, cannons and a flamethrower, the hovercraft Aqua Blast that has a charged beam function and can spin, the Deep Typhoon is a submarine that carries missiles and the last of the water crafts is the SS Tornado EX that can do dimensional travel. The last one is the only vehicle that does not travel on water, the Magma Hurricane that is a drilling vehicle.
Tails brings along portable machines during the events of Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood , focusing on aiding allies and weakening enemies as a "Support" character. In the game, he and Eggman build the Cyclone , a starship for Sonic and his friends to travel into the Twilight Cage .
In Sonic Unleashed , Tails has seemingly invented a portable monitor labeled " Miles Electric " that can apparently pick up and process satellite imaging, as demonstrated when Tails uses it to show Sonic and Chip that a part of the planet has been put back into place. Tails is frequently seen with this device in one hand during the game, and during portions of the game featuring flying on the Tornado, this same device, or a similar device is used as a sort of on-board computer for the Tornado. It can also be seen during most loading screens.
Tails and the Tornado, the Miles Electric is also equipped on the Tornado's Dash Panel.
The "Miles Electric" also appeared in Sonic Colors , where Tails built a translator into it, thus playing an important role in the game as he was able to get information about the Wisps and Eggman's plans from Yacker , a white Wisp which was saved by Sonic.
In Sonic the Hedgehog 4 , Sonic uses a red rocket to chase Eggman to the E.G.G. Station Zone . The front of the rocket has Tails' twin tails symbol on the front. Later, Metal Sonic would use the same rocket to catch up to Sonic and Tails in White Park Zone .
In Sonic Generations , Tails builds an unnamed transmitter that allows him and Sonic's other friends to communicate with the two Super Sonics during the final battle with the Time Eater.
Tails is one of the few characters in the series who has used firearms and missiles. Of the few characters, Tails is the only one of Sonic's friends and the only hero who has used firearms and missiles. Shadow is an anti-hero or neutral and Dr. Eggman is a villain. Tails has built multiple firearms, from machine guns and vulcan cannons to missile launchers, and he built the ammunition for them as well. Tails has built these into multiple of his devices so he can fight evil, but he has also used a few by hand.
Some of the games Tails has used firearms are listed below.
Tails Adventure, Tails utiles numerous weapons, most notably bombs.
Sonic Adventure, machine gun and homing missiles built into the Tornado and Tornado 2.
Sonic Adventure 2, vulcan cannon, bazooka and homing missiles built into the Tornado 3.
Sonic Battle, arm blaster cannon and Chu2 Bombs.
Sonic Rush Adventure, missiles, bombs, machine guns and flamethrowers built into multiple crafts.
Sonic Unleashed, missiles built into the Tornado.
Sonic & All-Stars Racing Transformed, All-Star Move that summons two mini Tornadoes that initiate full-auto on machine guns, missiles, and bombs onto other racers.
In other media
Tails in Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog .
In the Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog television series, Tails is a "four and a half"-year old kid and the adopted younger brother of Sonic the Hedgehog . When he was just an infant, Miles stumbled across Sonic and convinced him to let him stay with him. Because Miles hated his name, Sonic gave him the nickname "Tails." In the years that followed, Tails remained at Sonic's side, becoming a Freedom Fighter , and together they would defend the citizens of Mobius from Dr. Ivo Robotnik and his lackeys Scratch and Grounder .
In this media, Tails is very innocent and naïve, leaving him susceptible to getting caught by villains. As such, Sonic often has to rescue Tails, though he is not completely helpless. Also, while not highly intelligent, he has proven himself a mechanical genius, coming up with inventions stunning even brilliant minds.
Sonic the Hedgehog (TV Series)
Main article: Miles "Tails" Prower (SatAM)
Tails in the Sonic the Hedgehog TV series.
In the Sonic the Hedgehog television series, Tails is a ten year-old and big-hearted kid, and a close friend of the Knothole Freedom Fighters , who he views as his adopted family. He especially looks up to Sonic in every way and sees him as a "big bro."
During the tyrannical rule of Dr. Robotnik , Tails was often left behind in Knothole while the Freedom Fighters went on missions to stop Robotnik because he was too young. Tails, however, often expressed his desire to be involved in the freedom fighting cause which would make him jump into things too fast. After Tails came up with a plan that saved the Freedom Fighters and secured them one of the revered Deep Power Stone , however, he was decreed a real Freedom Fighter by Sally .
Sonic the Hedgehog: The Movie
Main article: Miles "Tails" Prower (Sonic the Hedgehog: The Movie)
Tails in Sonic the Hedgehog: The Movie.
In Sonic the Hedgehog: The Movie , Tails lives on Planet Freedom , where he is one of the defenders of the Land of the Sky alongside Sonic , protecting it from Dr. Robotnik and his evil forces. He lives together with Sonic on their own private island.
One day, Tails and Sonic were unexpectedly called by Dr. Robotnik to defeat an evil robot named Metal Robotnik and save the world from utter destruction. This was however a trick on Robotnik's behalf so the evil doctor could copy Sonic's data for his Hyper Metal Sonic robot. After the doctor's plan worked, Tails, along with their friends and allies, aided Sonic to combat the new enemy and save Planet Freedom.
Sonic X
Tails in Sonic X .
In the anime series Sonic X , Tails originates from a parallel version of Earth in another dimension. While shy at times, he can be very brave and strong in his words. On his world, Tails befriended Sonic when fixing up his bi-plane . During one of their battles against Dr. Eggman however, an accidental large-scale Chaos Control send Tails, Sonic, Dr. Eggman, and their friends to the human world. After landing on this world, Tails reunited with Sonic and befriended Christopher Thorndyke and his family, especially fellow inventor Chuck Thorndyke , who he forms a close friendship with.
On this new world, Tails and his friends fought against Dr. Eggman as the doctor attempted to conquer the planet. After living with Chris for a while, Tails set out on his own and build his own lab. In the end though, Tails and everyone else from his world were forced to return home as their presence threatened to freeze time. As such, Tails and Chuck built a portal for them to return to their own world with.
Six months after returning home, Tails and his friends teamed up again to fight the impending threat of the Metarex , an alien race of cyborgs who were a threat to the entire galaxy. Along the way, Tails found a love interest in Cosmo , a plant-like alien girl. In the final battle with the Metarex, however, Tails was forced to sacrifice Cosmo to stop them, much to his sorrow. Upon returning to their home planet, Tails rejoined Sonic as they resumed their ongoing battles with Eggman.
Sonic Boom
Tails in Sonic Boom .
In the Sonic Boom franchise, Tails is the pilot, gadget specialist, strategist and overall brains of Team Sonic , a group of heroes who protects Seaside Island and the earth at large from Dr. Eggman and his legion of robots. He is Sonic 's faithful friend and sidekick, with a mind furnishing with dreams of epic inventions to make life easier, though they do not always turn out as intended.
Comics
Tails in the Corocoro Comics Special manga.
In the Sonic the Hedgehog serialized manga series published by Shogakukan , Tails is one of main characters. Like many other incarnations, he is the sidekick of Sonic the Hedgehog as he pursues him everywhere and helps him in numerous battles against Dr. Eggman . Tails is also a good friend of Nikki (Sonic's alter ego) and Eimi . He hangs around with them in Hedgehog Town without knowing Nikki is Sonic. During his introduction in the CoroCoro comics, Tails also wears sunglasses and own a sports car. Occasionally, Tails also gets into trouble, but Sonic is able to save him each time.
Sonic the Comic
Main article: Miles "Tails" Prower (Sonic the Comic)
Tails in Sonic the Comic.
Tails also appears in the British Sonic the Comic , published by Fleetway, where he hails from the Nameless Zone , a region which can apparently only be accessed by a space warp. He traveled to the Emerald Hill Zone after mistakenly believing that the streets were paved with real emeralds. Once on Mobius he met and befriended Sonic , eventually becoming his sidekick. While he is self-conscious, Tails has proven time and again (and openly stated) that he is much tougher than some people may think.
Tails frequently starred in his own solo adventures, occasionally back in his native Nameless Zone or in the Chemical Plant Zone . Over time he built up an extensive rogues gallery including the brutal Trogg , the psychotic robot Nutzan Bolt , Fleabyte the bounty hunter and the gangster Max Gamble , as well as allies such as Errol Blackthorn and Morain , and Sab . He also fought many criminals after the defeat of Robotnik, defended the Casino Night Zone and its people from Brutus' Badniks, and was chosen by Sonic to protect the planet while he went after Robotnik during the Planet In Peril/Game Over story.
Archie Comics
In the Sonic the Hedgehog comic series and its spin-off comic series published by Archie Comics , Tails is a Freedom Fighter and the closest friend of his world 's hero, Sonic the Hedgehog .
Tails was born Miles Prower to Amadeus and Rosemary Prower on the day of Dr. Ivo Robotnik 's takeover of Old Mobotropolis . While still an infant, he was spirited away to Knothole where he was looked after by Rosie Woodchuck . Startling intuitive for his young age, Miles latched onto a charismatic Sonic and dreamed of becoming a Freedom Fighter. Over time, he earned the nickname "Tails" from his mutation: a par of tails. While Sonic and the other children became the Knothole Freedom Fighters to fight against Robotnik's tyranny, Tails was only made a junior member and was deemed too young to participate in their missions. With time and experience however, Tails earned his position among the Freedom Fighters as both a warrior like Sonic, but also an inventor like Rotor , and became prominent member of the team who would assist actively in the war against Robotnik and later Dr. Eggman . Throughout it all though, he continues to be at Sonic's side through even the toughest of times. During his adventures, Tails discovered that it was his destiny to become the " Chosen One " of the Ancient Walkers meant to fulfill an ancient prophecy. Under the guiding hand of Athair , Tails has accomplished many great tasks in the fulfillment of his destiny such as stopping Mammoth Mogul and brining forth the Great Harmony , but his true destiny has proven elusive.
Following the Super Genesis Wave , Tails was given a brand new past to more closely align with his game counterpart's.
Reception
Tails was awarded "Best New Character" in Electronic Gaming Monthly's 1992 video game awards, stating "not only is he as cute as Sonic, but he actually serves a major purpose in the game."
According to official polls, Tails is the third most popular character in the Sonic the Hedgehog franchise, coming behind Sonic and Shadow . [33]
Quotes
"My name is Miles Prower, but everyone calls me Tails." - Tails when starting his recap in Sonic Adventure 2 .
"I hate it when he doesn't listen to me." - When Sonic ignored Tails about the Egg Carrier transforming in Sonic Adventure.
"Sonic actually asked me for the first time to do something for him. I won't let him down! I WON'T GIVE UP!" - Tails about to fight Eggman after Sonic's apparent demise in Sonic Adventure 2.
"What have you done to Sonic!? I'll never forgive you for this!" - Tails after Eggman shoots Sonic into space, Sonic Adventure 2.
"What are we gonna do, Sonic?" - Tails' reaction to Eggman's threat in Sonic Heroes.
"It's hard to keep up with Sonic..." - Tails when standing still for a while in Sonic Heroes.
"Making robots is the same as breaking them" - Tails after Eggman's Robot Carnival Boss, Sonic Heroes.
"Okay! Time to Fly!" - Tails upon entering a fight in Sonic Battle .
"I'll do my best!" - Tails before starting a race in the Sonic Riders trilogy.
"'Sonic, I'm coming!" - Tails as he finishes Crisis City in End of the World in Sonic the Hedgehog (2006).
"I'm gonna fly circles around you!" - Before starting a race in Sonic Rivals 2 .
"It may not look like it, but I have been training with Sonic!" - Tails in response to Rouge when she wondered how he caught up to her quickly in Sonic Rivals 2.
"When we turned to look around, the race was over and we already won." - Tails saying to Omochao how easy it was to beat Team Rose in the Grand Prix.
"Uhh... Are you talking to the broken robot who can't hear you?" - In Sonic Colors when Sonic started talking to Refreshinator after destroying it.
"I'm totally pleased, and a little nauseous, I grabbed a bite to eat at the Bucket-o-Sushi... his cruelty knows no bounds." - Tails talking about a restaurant in Eggman's amusement park.
"Good job to you on inventing a translator that allowed us to speak to the aliens and figure out exactly what we needed to do so we weren't running around the park looking like idiots. Oh no wait, that was me." - Tails speaking sarcastically when Sonic said that Tails didn't do anything at the end of Sonic Colors.
"Thanks, Sonic! I thought I was dead! Floating without a body in a black limbo... (shudders) I'm gonna have nightmares for weeks." - Tails after Sonic rescues him at Green Hill in Sonic Generations.
"Wow, you weren't kidding when you said soon! I thought you already left!" - Tails when he first encounters with Classic Sonic in Sonic Generations.
"This place looks like something sucked all the life and color out of it." - Tails talking to Sonic about the strange area they went through (not realizing that it was Green Hill ) in Sonic Generations.
"Doubles of us... Places and enemies from our past... We're traveling through time and space!" - Classic and Modern Tails solving the problem to the Sonics.
"Leave the flying to me!" - Classic Tails in co-op mission at Chemical Plant in Sonic Generations.
"You can win, Sonic!" - Classic Tails cheering on the Sonics in Sonic Generations.
"You always do!" - Modern Tails cheering on the Sonics in Sonic Generations.
"Not getting fried would be nice..." - Tails when Sonic rescues him from being shot by the Badniks under the Deadly Six 's control in Sonic Lost World .
"I've built a TV out of paperclips and reprogrammed a super computer using dishwashing detergent and a toothpick. (...) So look, fixing a propeller on a bi-plane? That's about as difficult as taking a nap." Tails after fixing the propeller of the Tornado in Sonic Lost World.
"Well, there you go folks! The motion is passed unanimously!" - Tails after nearly everyone raised their hands for agreeing that Eggman is a total "bonehead".
"Sorry you got stuck with a voice chip that looks like it was built by a two-year-old!"- Tails insulting Eggman after fixing Cubot's voice chip.
"In hindsight, I've got to agree with you, Doc. Thanks for the save. Um... Can you get off me now?"- Tails after Eggman saves him from Cubot infused with a Crabmeat battle-bot.
Theme songs
Solo Themes
In Sonic Adventure , Tails' theme song is called " Believe in Myself ", which is a soft rock theme.
In Sonic Adventure 2 , Tails' theme song is a remake of "Believe in Myself", which has a pop rock tune and rearranged lyrics.
In Sonic and the Black Knight , if you go to the Blacksmith's, a short, soft instrumental version of "Believe in Myself" will play.
Shared themes
In Sonic Riders: Zero Gravity , Tails' theme is " Un-Gravitify " shared with Sonic and Knuckles.
Trivia
Tails' possession of two tails is derived from the mythological kitsune (Japanese for "Fox") from common Japanese folklore. The kitsune is said to be capable of growing multiple tails - nine tails at maximum - with it being said that the more tails it has, the more old, wise and powerful it is.
His real name "Miles Prower" is a pun on "miles per hour", a reference to the famed speed of the Sonic the Hedgehog series.
Tails' outstanding speed is partially due his training with Sonic. [34]
During his first appearance in Sonic the Hedgehog 2, Tails' fur was orange in color, but the color was changed to yellow-orange in Sonic Adventure artwork, and light-yellow for Sonic Heroes .
Tails and Eggman are the only characters who are addressed by their nicknames, with their full names of "Miles Prower" and "Doctor Ivo Robotnik" being used far less.
Tails is the youngest character to have a Super State .
The original outfit designs for Sonic Riders games.
In the original concept of Sonic Riders, Tails was originally going to wear yellow and orange clothing, as shown in the concept art to the right.
Tails and Sonic share a trait of being rather impatient. No other characters except sometimes Amy, ever act impatient as Tails and Sonic are always going fast when after Eggman.
His fur color seems to vary a little bit from every game, from orange in-between Sonic the Hedgehog 2 and Sonic the Hedgehog 3, to brown in both Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog and Sonic the Hedgehog animated series, to golden yellow in Sonic Adventure, to being orange in Sonic Adventure 2 and to yellow in Sonic Heroes.
As proven in Shadow the Hedgehog, Sonic Heroes and Sonic the Hedgehog (2006), Tails seems to get dizzy easily and feels pretty uncomfortable when he gets dizzy. This is an inconsistency concerning the character, due to his "Rapid Tail Spin" attack in Sonic Adventure and the Spin Dash attack.
Tails appears to have phasmophobia, a fear of ghosts, first made apparent in Sonic Heroes.
The only Sonic cartoon Tails was not ever featured in was Sonic Underground .
In issue #188 of the GameInformer magazine, Tails had the #6 worst video game character name, mainly because of the "miles per hour" joke.
The September 2010 issue of GameInformer magazine elected Tails as the 10th "Most Disgustingly Cute" Video Game Character.
All of Tails' solo theme songs are "Believe in Myself" or some kind of remixed version.
As seen in Sonic Colors, Tails can read binary fluently, although it was shown later that the codes were in Hexadecimal . [35]
Nintendo Power magazine had a poll asking which sidekick people would choose, with Tails being the second most picked.
In Sonic Adventure , in the cutscene after the Egg Carrier shoots down Sonic and Tails (if playing Tails' story), it shows a flashback where Tails is walking in the jungle of Mystic Ruins and Sonic speeds by, with Tails running right behind him (a reference to how they met). The Mystic Ruins is used for this scene, rather than having to develop an entirely different environment that would only be used once.
Modern Tails' artwork in Sonic Generations looks very similar to his artwork in Sonic Advance 3, whereas his Classic artwork appears to be completely new.
It would be physically impossible for Tails to fly, due to his tails having to twist. However, if one slows down footage of him spinning his tails to fly/move, they do not actually turn through morphing of the model, but actually mesh through each other. This minor inconsistency would not normally be noticeable at normal speed, though.
Unlike Sonic's classic form, Classic Tails speaks in Sonic Generations.
Even though Tails is one of the fastest characters in the series, he is a Skill Type in the Mario & Sonic series , due to the fact that there can only be two characters per type; Sonic and Shadow are faster, and Tails is still one of the main characters. This is also the case for Eggman.
Tails has the most voice actors out of all of the characters, with nine English voice actors (counting his TV show and movie appearances). Often times, Tails was cast with young boy voice actors to provide a genuine youthful male voice for the role, although this would always cause the need to recast him once the voice actor's voice matured too far to continuing voicing him. In recent years, Tails has been voiced by females, in order to avoid the aforementioned issue.
Tails' feet without shoes.
A bonus wallpaper, accessed from inserting the Dreamcast version of Sonic Adventure into a computer, shows Tails out of his trademark white-and-red shoes, and instead wearing sandals. This also reveals the shape of his feet.
In Spiral Knights, there's a Tails costume for the players where you can wear Tails' tails, along with a Metal Sonic costume.
In Sonic Generations, Tails' Classic "pose" in the profile section is in the "pose" at the beginning of Sonic the Hedgehog 2.
In Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood , Tails and Sonic are the only characters in the game that can carry on different conversations via selecting different speech bubbles with the stylus.
Despite being a fox, Tails has been mistaken for a squirrel; during Nintendo Power's run, the magazine would occasionally refer to Tails as a squirrel, although typically for humorous purposes.
In the bad ending of the 8-bit version of Sonic the Hedgehog 2, it is never confirmed but implied that Tails dies.
Tails is the only playable character in Sonic Advance 3 who does not have a dialogue.
See also
Local Blacksmith
References
↑ Sonic the Hedgehog official Twitter . Retrieved on 2014-26-02. “Sonic the Hedgehog: We would like to express our gratitude to Kate Higgins for her many years of service as the voice of Tails. / Uncle Festive: So, is Kate no longer voicing Tails in the main series either? / Sonic the Hedgehog: Yes, Colleen Villard is the voice of Tails moving forward for all Sonic the Hedgehog titles.”
| Blue |
Walter Fredrick Morrison sold the rights to his Pluto Platter in 1955, but under what name did this toy become popular? | Knuckles the Echidna | Sonic News Network | Fandom powered by Wikia
The six Chaos Emeralds left by Chaos .
Not long after, the Angel Island fell down again and Knuckles decided to find Sonic for advice, believing the Chaos Emeralds he got had something to do with it. Soon after, however, he found Eggman and was ambushed by Chaos, who took his Chaos Emeralds. Later found by Sonic and Tails. Knuckles informed them of Chaos's return and that it would destroy the world with the Chaos Emeralds, before taking off himself to deal with the threat. Arriving in Station Square where Perfect Chaos was on a rampage, Knuckles found four of the now-drained Chaos Emeralds and brought them to Sonic while his other friends brought the remaining three, where he reluctantly agreed with Tails that Sonic could still harness the Chaos Emeralds' positive chaos energy to stop Chaos. After Super Sonic defeat Perfect Chaos, Knuckles looked on with content as Chaos was returned to a peaceful creature once more and departed with Tikal.
Sonic Shuffle
Knuckles heading into Maginaryworld.
In Sonic Shuffle , Knuckles, Sonic , Tails and Amy were suddenly transported to the Temple of Light in Maginaryworld . There, they met Lumina Flowlight who had brought them here to help restored the Perfect Precioustone which had been shattered by Void and made their guardian, Illumina , disappear. With Void now posed to destroy Maginaryworld with the Precioustone gone, Knuckles agreed to help with the other. While finding the Precioustone and restoring the world affected by Void, Knuckles had dream where he met Void. Knuckles and the others initially opposed Void, but evenutally saw that Void was lonely and sad which touched their hearts, and they soon saw that Void and Lumina were two halves of the same whole.
After having brought the Precioustones to the Temple of Light, Knuckles and the others returned there when Void went for the Perfect Precioustone again. There, Void's despair transformed him into a monster . Knuckles and his team defeated Void, but Lumina fell into despair as the Perfect Precioustone was not recovering. When Sonic found Void in the form of a dark gem, Knuckles helped get Lumina to accept Void by noting how negative feelings were needed for dreams to flourish. With Lumina's hope restored, Knuckles and the group saw her restoring the Precioustone, and Lumina and Void remerging back into Illumina. With Maginaryworld restored to an even better place, Knuckles and the gang received Illumina's gratitude before returning home.
Sonic Adventure 2
Knuckles fighting Rouge over the Master Emerald.
In Sonic Adventure 2 , Knuckles discovered the Master Emerald had been stolen by Rouge the Bat . Tracking her down, Knuckles had an ownership dispute with Rouge over the Emerald until it was stolen by Dr. Eggman , who had tracked its signal. Rather than letting Eggman have it, Knuckles shattered the Master Emerald and scattered its Emerald Shards to prevent the theft. With Rouge berating him for his action, Knuckles began hunting down the shards before Rouge could get them. After gathering some shards on the way, Knuckles got lost inside the Aquatic Mine and ended up in Central City , where he met Tails and Amy , only for Amy to drag him into Sonic 's latest adventure, where they were trying to stop Eggman from using the Eclipse Cannon to take over the earth .
Having located Eggman on Space Colony ARK , Knuckles led the group to Eggman's base, having seen both Eggman and Rouge enter it. Believing there was a space shuttle there that could take them to the ARK and destroy the Eclipse Cannon, Knuckles and the team infiltrated the base, where Knuckles found the keys to the center at Sonic's choice, before having a fight with King Boom Boo . At the shuttle's launch pad, Knuckles and the others were ambushed by Eggman with the Egg Golem . While Sonic defeated the Egg Golem, Knuckles and the others got a space shuttle to take off in. While en route to Space Colony ARK however, the shuttle hit a stray asteroid, causing the cargo bay to open and releasing all the Emerald Shards Knuckles had stored there. Panicking, Knuckles tried taking control of the shuttle, only to make it crash on . After landing, Knuckles left the group to find the lost shards.
Knuckles saving Rouge's life.
After finding some shards, Knuckles met Rouge again and fought her to a stalemate. However, as Rouge tripped into a lava, Knuckles saved her life, only for Rouge to should ingratitude at him. Regardless, she returned her Emerald Shards as thanks. After restoring the Master Emerald, Knuckles left with it, but not before swallowing his pride and apologizing to Rouge for hurting her. No sooner, Knuckles found Sonic appearing in front of him when he escaped from an doomed capsule using Chaos Control with a fake Chaos Emerald, who told Knuckles to go help Tails and Amy while he destroy the Eclipse Cannon.
Knuckles using the Master Emerald in the Cannon's Core .
After the Eclipse Cannon was stopped, Knuckles and Sonic met Rouge, who told them that the ARK was on a collision course with Earth (although Knuckles thought by her appearance that she was still after the Master Emerald). Knuckles and the others then saw a recording of Gerald Robotnik announcing to the world that the ARK's impact would destroy the planet as his revenge at humanity for the death of his granddaughter, Maria . Banding together with Eggman, Knuckles and the group came up with the plan to use the Master Emerald to deactivate the seven Chaos Emeralds, which was powering the cannon's core , to stop the Space Colony's crash course. When Knuckles and Sonic made it to the core, they were attacked by the Biolizard , but Shadow arrived and held it off. Knuckles used the Master Emerald and shut down the Chaos Emeralds, but the Biolizard warped outside the ARK and became the Finalhazard to keep the ARK on its collision course. Knuckles then saw Sonic and Shadow using the Chaos Emeralds to become Super Sonic and Super Shadow to defeat the Finalhazard while he advices through transmission lines.
After Super Sonic and Super Shadow beat the FInalhazard and brought the ARK back into orbit, Knuckles found Sonic returning alone, informing them that Shadow had seemingly died. Knuckles then asked Rouge what she planned to do and was content to hear she considered giving up treasure hunting, before they returned to Earth.
Sonic Advance series
Sonic Advance
In Sonic Advance , Knuckles joined forces with Sonic , Tails and Amy to stop Dr. Eggman from obtaining the seven Chaos Emeralds . Over the course of their adventure, Knuckles and the others got the Chaos Emeralds first and chased the doctor to the X-Zone . After they defeated the EGG X , Knuckles, Tails and Amy returned to Earth while Super Sonic faced Eggman in a final confrontation on the moon . There, they awaited Sonic's return, but grew confused when he did not show up. A few days later though, Sonic finally returned.
Sonic Advance 2
In Sonic Advance 2 , Knuckles was kidnapped alongside Tails by Dr. Eggman when the evil scientist attempted once more to create the Eggman Empire . After being captured, Knuckles was somehow tricked by Eggman into fighting Sonic .
Knuckles trying to explain himself.
In Sky Canyon , Knuckles intercepted Sonic and his allies in the Egg Saucer , but was defeated. Realizing that he had been tricked, Knuckles tried to defend himself, but was chided by Sonic. When Sonic then tried to leave, Knuckles joined him, wanting payback at Eggman.
After hunting down and seemingly beating Eggman, Knuckles, Sonic, Tails, Cream and Cheese found Vanilla who had gone missing, only to see her being kidnapped by Eggman in his new mech . Knuckles then witnessed Sonic using the Chaos Emeralds to become Super Sonic and taking off to rescue Vanilla and stop Eggman. When Sonic returned with Vanilla, Knuckles congratulated Sonic for a job well done.
Sonic Advance 3
In Sonic Advance 3 , where the Earth was split into seven regions by a massive Chaos Control induced by Dr. Eggman , Knuckles met Sonic and Tails in Sunset Hill . Seeing the trouble, Knuckles joined his friend to help, despite being declined by Sonic.
Traveling across the different regions, Knuckles and his friends eventual got the seven Chaos Emeralds and had Amy and Cream join them. Along the way, Knuckles also faced Dr. Eggman's newest creation, Gemerl , a rebuilt version of Emerl . Eventually, Knuckles and his friends got to the Emerald Altar where they beat the Hyper EggRobo and used the Master Emerald to return the world to normal. Later, following Sonic's return from his and Eggman's battle with Ultimate Gemerl , Knuckles remained behind at the Master Emerald's shrine and watched on satisfied when his friends took their leave.
Sonic Heroes
In Sonic Heroes , Knuckles and Tails received a letter from Dr. Eggman , who claimed to have created "the ultimate weapon" to conquer the world and challenged them to stop him within three days. Using the Tornado 2 , Knuckles and Tails found Sonic and brought him the news. As Knuckles was confident they could handle it, he and Tails joined Sonic in stopping Eggman's scheme, officially forming Team Sonic .
Beginning their mission by tracking Dr. Eggman, Team Sonic found the doctor at Ocean Palace , where they were attacked by the Egg Hawk . Though the team defeated the machine, Eggman escaped. Knuckles and Team Sonic then followed Eggman to Grand Metropolis , where the team freed the city from Eggman's control and escaped from the Power Plant , before running into Team Rose , who they managed give the slip.
Arriving in Casino Park , Knuckles was taken back by the place, but was pushed on. As they got through the city, Eggman attacked them with his Robot Carnival , but Team Sonic defeated the horde. Following Eggman to Rail Canyon and only having until sunset, Knuckles and his team headed for Bullet Station and destroyed Eggman's base there. Team Sonic found Eggman in the Egg Albatross and destroy it. It was then, however, that Knuckles and the team discovered that the Eggman they had been chasing was a copy, and that their challenge was to distract them while Eggman launched his Egg Fleet . As Sonic took off, Knuckles quickly followed him.
Knuckles threatening Rouge after her comment.
Following Eggman through the jungle, Team Sonic met Team Dark and saw Shadow was still alive. As an argument arose about who would case Eggman, the two teams fought each other. After the battle, Team Sonic followed Eggman and Shadow to Hang Castle , where Knuckles teased Tails by saying that it could have been Shadow's ghost they saw. After infiltrating the castle and escaping Mystic Mansion , Team Sonic was attacked by Eggman's Robot Storm , but defeated it.
After that, Team Sonic got to the Egg Fleet and went straight for the Final Fortress where they destroyed the colossal flagship's core. Team Sonic then found Eggman in his Egg Emperor and defeated him. After destroying much of the Egg Fleet, Knuckles teased Sonic with how he would had stood no chance without their help, but was surprised when Sonic agreed. Knuckles and Tails then watched Sonic escaping as Amy arrived.
Knuckles refusing to let Sonic fight alone.
Later, Team Sonic and the other teams saw the return of Metal Sonic , who had been staging the team's adventures and impersonating Eggman so he could follow them and copy their data in a plan to conquer the world himself, as he transformed into Metal Madness . Seeing that the teams had collected all the Chaos Emeralds , the real Dr. Eggman came up with the plan of using them against Metal Sonic. When Sonic decided to face Metal Sonic alone, Knuckles insisted on going with him along with Tails. While Team Sonic charged the Chaos Emeralds, Team Rose, Dark and Chaotix fought Metal Madness to buy them some time.
When Metal Madness transformed into Metal Overlord , Knuckles and Tails were given their own Super States by Sonic as he transformed into Super Sonic . The team then took off and defeated Metal Overlord. Back on the flagship, Knuckles watched Sonic leave, before chasing after Rouge once she said she would steal "someone else's treasure ." Soon after, Knuckles joined Sonic and Tails as they headed off to find their next adventure.
Shadow the Hedgehog
In Shadow the Hedgehog , Knuckles left his post on Angel Island and joined forces with most of his friends and G.U.N. 's forces to repel the Black Arms invasion of Earth . He appears during Shadow 's Hero Missions where he asks Shadow for assistance against the Black Arms.
Glyphic Canyon
Arriving in Glyphic Canyon , Knuckles attempted to assist G.U.N. by driving off the Black Arms infesting the area. There, he met Shadow , who had just been teleported to the ruins. Upon meeting him, Knuckles filled Shadow in on the Black Arms around them, and requested his assistance in clearing the area of the Black Arms.
In the Hero scenario, where Shadow accepted Knuckles' request, Knuckles and Shadow managed to drive the Black Arms out of the area, and as well finding one of the Chaos Emeralds amongst the ruins.
Central City
In Central City , Knuckles discovered that the Black Arms had set up bombs across the city that would destroy the entire city, a tragedy that Knuckles did not intend to come true. When there was only a few minutes left until the bombs would explode, Knuckles noticed Shadow had arrived in Central City and asked for help defusing the bombs.
In the Hero scenario, where Shadow accepted Knuckles' request, Knuckles and Shadow succeeded in defusing enough bombs and managed to save the city.
Black Comet
Having gotten onboard the Black Comet , Knuckles assisted G.U.N. in attacking the Black Arms' base, with Knuckles planning to destroy the comet's core. On his way to the core, Knuckles came across Shadow and asked him for his help to get to the center.
In the Hero scenario, where Shadow accepted Knuckles' request, Knuckles and Shadow made it to the center of the Black Comet, where they found the Chaos Emerald that the Black Arms had stolen. Though Shadow refused to follow Knuckles any further, Knuckles still came to Shadow's aid when the hedgehog was attacked by Dr. Eggman and his Egg Dealer . Eventually, the two destroyed Eggman's contraption and as well claim the final Chaos Emerald.
Last Story
In the last story, Knuckles arrived with Sonic , Tails , Amy , Rouge and Dr. Eggman to stop Shadow from giving the Chaos Emerald to Black Doom . Black Doom however, took the Emeralds and used an enhanced Chaos Control to transport the Black Comet to the surface, planning to use humans as energy sources for his kind. As Knuckles prepared to act, he and the others were paralyzed by a special nerve gas and Black Doom unleashed the Death leeches to prey on them. Shadow however, proved to be immune to the gas, and he left Knuckles and the others behind as he pursued Black Doom.
Knuckles and the others eventually escaped the Black Comet and found some shelter from where they cheered Super Shadow on as he fought and defeated Devil Doom . Knuckles then witnessed Super Shadow sending the Black Comet back into space and blowing it up with the Eclipse Cannon . As Eggman then tried to sneak away to claim the Chaos Emeralds, Knuckles furiously chased after him.
Sonic Battle
Knuckles meeting Emerl.
In Sonic Battle , Knuckles heard from the news that an E-121 Phi had been robbing jewelry stores. Later, Knuckles met Sonic and Tails and Emerl , a Gizoid Sonic had found, who had come to ask for the Chaos Emerald in his possession to develop Emerl. Knuckles, however, mistook Emerl for the E-121 Phi and attacked him, but was defeated. Knuckles then relinquished his Chaos Emerald and heard about Emerl's abilities and that Eggman and Rouge were after him, making him suspicious.
Later, Knuckles met Tails and Emerl, where he, after a brief fight with Emerl, was then told by Tails to come to Emerald Beach when their path was blocked by Chaos Gamma . In the end, Knuckles took care of Gamma alone, allowing Tails and Emerl to leave. When Chaos Gamma escaped, Knuckles got to Emerald Beach, where he saw Rouge leave and heard what had happen from Sonic. When Knuckles tried to ask Emerl, he became infuriated as Emerl continued to ignore him, especially upon Sonic's orders, which made Knuckles fight both of them.
Later, after Emerl had been stolen by Rouge, Knuckles and Tails aided Sonic when he fought Rouge to get Emerl back, with Rouge eventually surrendering Emerl. Later on, when Knuckles learned about how Emerl needed Chaos Emeralds and that he grew stronger the more he fought, he vowed to help realize his full potential. Finding Emerl with Tails in Emerald Town , Knuckles trained with him until they heard the news saying that an E-121 Phi in Night Babylon , and Knuckles took Emerl with him to deal with it.
In Central City, Knuckles briefly came across Amy , only to be attacked by Chaos Gamma. After forcing Chaos Gamma to leave, Knuckles encountered Rouge, who filled him in on Chaos Gamma and learned the robot wanted revenge at Emerl. After processing this, Knuckles and Emerl continued to Night Babylon. There, they met a clerk who mistook Emerl for a Phi and called a Guard Robo . After destroying it and escaping, Knuckles lost his temper and yelled at Emerl and upset him. Apologizing for his outburst, Knuckles had Emerl wait while he went ahead. When Knuckles returned, however, Emerl was gone and he began looking for him. After several kermises with store clerks, Knuckles found Emerl with Rouge. Knuckles thought Rouge was after Emerl, but he found her innocent. Just then, they found the Phis. Knuckles and Emerl proceeded to destroy them and got their Emerald Shards before being given a Emerald Shard from Rouge as well who suggested they asked Tails about the Emerald Shards.
Heeding Rouge's advice, Knuckles returned to Tails who explained they could get a whole Chaos Emerald if the collected two more shards from the Phis. Knuckles then left with Emerl to train him and fought him to settle their score. After their battle, Dr. Eggman appeared and attacked them with a Phi, but Knuckles and Emerl defeated it, claimed its Emerald Shard and chased Eggman.
Knuckles acknowledging Emerl as his battle partner.
Finding Eggman in Central City, Knuckles and Emerl destroyed another Phi and took its Emerald Shard. There, Knuckles acknowledged Emerl as his battle partner, before hearing Eggman say that he was heading to Gimme Shelter as he escaped.
As Knuckles got at the Gimme Shelter to catch Eggman, he was caught in Eggman's "spiky rodent trap" and Eggman revealed he tricked him. As Eggman announced plan to have Emerl absorb his Final Egg Blaster , Knuckles was left in Chaos Gamma's hands, but Emerl defeated it. Afterward, Knuckles asked Emerl to free him, but Emerl scoffed him for his lack of strength, infuriating him enough to try and break free, until Emerl shut the trap down. Heading back to Emerald Town, Knuckles had Tails put their Emerald Shards to a whole Chaos Emerald, which they gave to Emerl. As Tails wondered what happened, Knuckles asked Emerl to keep it a secret that he got tricked by Eggman. Regardless, Emerl still told Sonic and Tails, making Knuckles explode with anger.
Later on, Knuckles met Emerl again, who had come to fight him so he could fight Shadow , where he was still defeated. Later, when Eggman revealed his newest Death Egg and its Final Egg Blaster, Knuckles met up with Sonic, Tails and Emerl at Holy Summit, where he revealed that Chaos had returned, a sign of danger. As Emerl went to the Death Egg to stop Eggman, Knuckles and the others watched Emerl through a monitor.
When Eggman was defeated, however, Eggman fired the Final Egg Blaster, destroying some stars, causing Emerl to revert to his original destructive programming. However, Eggman could not control Emerl as excepted, and Emerl prepared to fire the Final Egg Blaster at earth . Knuckles then urged Sonic on as he went to the Death Egg to stop Emerl with the Master Emerald. When that failed, Sonic had no choice but to destroy Emerl. Once the deed was done, the world was saved, but everyone mourned Emerl's death.
Sonic Rush
Knuckles asking Cream to introduce him to Blaze .
In Sonic Rush , Knuckles was walking around on his own when he met Cream and her new friend Blaze the Cat . As he was introduced, Knuckles got angry when Cream mentioned his shortcomings but then noticed that Blaze held a Sol Emerald . Sensing that its power was similar to chaos energy and thus a Chaos Emerald , Knuckles advised Blaze that she gave it to Sonic for safekeeping. Blaze, however, denied his claim of having a Chaos Emerald and tried to leave, but Knuckles thought she was lying and tried to chase after her. During the chase, however, he was buried under a pile of rocks by Blaze.
Eventually, Knuckles pulled himself out of the rocks and met Sonic and Tails . Knuckles then told them how Blaze got him stuck there and took off to punch some things to vent his anger, inadvertently opening a path blocked by rocks. Following that, Knuckles searched for Blaze to get some payback and eventually found her with Cream and Amy , but was held back by Amy while Cream and Blaze escaped.
In the aftermath of Sonic and Blaze's final battles with Dr. Eggman and Dr. Eggman Nega , Knuckles joined up with the others in celebration, where he warned Sonic that Amy was coming.
A while afterwards, Knuckles, along with Sonic, Tails, Amy and Cream, came to Blaze's aid when Eggman and Eggman Nega drained all her Sol Emeralds of their power to conquer both Sonic's dimension and Blaze's world . With Knuckles and the others supporting her, Blaze recharged the Sol Emeralds, becoming Burning Blaze , and joined up with Super Sonic , and together, they defeated the doctors and saved their worlds.
Sonic Riders series
Sonic Riders
In Sonic Riders , Team Sonic arrived in Future City as they searched for a Chaos Emerald , until the Babylon Rogues appeared. When Tails read that they had the Emerald, Knuckles aided Sonic in intercepting the Rogues and knocked Storm off his Type-S though Storm still escaped. Knuckles and Tails then followed Sonic when he chased after Jet and found him knocked down while the Babylon Rogues escaped.
The next day, the team saw Dr. Eggman on the local monitors, announcing the EX World Grand Prix and that the entry fee for the contestants was a Chaos Emerald, with the winner getting to claim all seven. Seeing that the participants Dr. Eggman had found were the Babylon Rogues, Knuckles and the team decided to enter the competition.
After the qualifications rounds, Knuckles was with his team when they met Amy , who had also signed up for the tournament. After then hearing Tails explain the legends about the Babylon Rogues and Babylon Garden , Knuckles wondered how Extreme Gears worked, but found Tails' explanation too confusing. Just then, Wave came by and mocked Tails' Blue Star (and places a bomb on it), much Knuckles' annoyance. Shortly after though, Knuckles and the others hurried out to next race.
Knuckles and Storm meeting in the Egg Factory.
After the race, Knuckles was walking through Egg Factory when he bumped into Storm. Recognizing him, Knuckles wanted to settle the score between them. When Knuckles and Storm heard that the next race was about to start, however, they decided to settle their dispute with a race, which Knuckles won.
Before the semifinals, Knuckles and Tails watched Sonic practice his Extreme Gear techniques, until Jet appeared and mocked Sonic before taking his leave. Knuckles and his team eventually got to the finals, which Jet won after Wave sabotaged Sonic's Blue Star. They then witnessed Jet claim and use the seven Chaos Emeralds in tandem with the Key to Babylon Garden to reveal Babylon Garden itself, with the intention of claiming its treasure. Eggman, however, stole the key so that he could take the treasure for himself, believing it to be technology that he could use to conquer the world, and Knuckles and Tails followed Sonic as they headed out to stop Eggman.
Using the Tornado 2 , Knuckles and Tails got to Babylon Garden, while Sonic took off on the midway to chase Eggman. There, they met Wave and Storm, and Knuckles and Storm got ready to fight, but had to stop when a flock of E-10000s attacked. Chasing after Wave and Storm, Knuckles and Tails got to Sonic's location as Sonic stopped Eggman and returned the Key to Babylon Garden to the Rogues. Knuckles and the others were then about to leave when Amy arrived and chased furiously after Sonic for attacking Eggman while he held her hostage. They heard a heard a roar and decided to check it out. Arriving inside Babylon Garden, Knuckles and the group saw the Babylon Rogues had awoken the Babylon Guardian and were forced to fight it.
After beating the Babylon Guardian, the group found the Treasure of Babylon, which was revealed to be a Magic Carpet , much to the disappointment of Eggman. With the whole ordeal over, Team Sonic and the Babylon Rogues went their separate ways, until they met again.
Sonic Riders: Zero Gravity
In Sonic Riders: Zero Gravity , a few months after the EX World Grand Prix, Knuckles was driving with Sonic and Tails through Monopole with a mysterious meteorite Tails had found the other night. [24] On their way to Megalo Station , however, Knuckles and the others were attacked by SCR-HD and a group of SCR-GP , a part of a currently global robot rampage who were after the meteorite. In the insuring chase, the group crashed and fell out a 300-story building, though Knuckles and Tails saved themselves by flying while Sonic was saved by the meteorite which could manipulate gravity.
Knuckles, Sonic and Tails hiding from the robots.
After that, Knuckles and the group tried to hide from the robots, where they met Amy , who was being chased by the robots because she had a meteorite similar to theirs. The group then decided to go to MeteorTech , who created the robots, for answers. There, Knuckles and the gang were discovered by security, but the Babylon Rogues arrived and Jet repelled the security robots with another meteorite. As the Babylon Rogues demanded their meteorites, called the Arks of the Cosmos, Knuckles was ready to fight, but had to wait when more robots showed up.
Arriving in the control room, the group were surprised to find Dr. Eggman , who owned of MeteoTech, though Eggman claimed to have no part in the global robot rampage. However, when Eggman recognized Sonic's Ark of the Cosmos, Knuckles threatened the doctor to tell them what he knew. Eggman then revealed that MeteoTech’s computer was powered by one of the Arks of the Cosmos and that the robot leader, SCR-HD, which also had an Ark of the Cosmos, sought them out for reasons unknown. The group then noticed Amy was gone and saw her being chased by SCR-HD and Storm on a computer screen, and Team Sonic left to save her.
When they found Amy, Knuckles and the others learned that SCR-HD had suddenly blown up and Storm had taken its Ark of the Cosmos. However, Tails deduced that they had to remove the Ark of the Cosmos in MeteoTech’s mother computer to stop the rampaging robots. As they tried to figure where the mother computer could be, Amy remembered a place Storm mentioned with info on the Arks of the Cosmos, which Knuckles recognized it as Gigan Rocks and personally lead the group there.
Knuckles translating the inscriptions in Gigan Rocks.
Arriving at Gigan Rocks, Knuckles translated the ancient scripts there and they learned that the Arks of the Cosmos were ancient power units for Babylon Garden . After then seeing the Babylon Rogues chase after Eggman above them, Knuckles translated some more inscriptions, which helped the group figure out the location of the MeteoTech’s computer mother. When they arrived there, Knuckles and the others found the Crimson Tower and the Babylon Rogues, who revealed that Eggman had stolen their Arks of the Cosmos. Understanding that Eggman planned to use the Arks of the Cosmos to control all the world's robots and conquer the world, Knuckles and the others raced against the Babylon Rogues to Eggman.
At the end of race, Eggman was stopped and the robot rampage came to an end. After Babylon Garden appeared due to all Arks of the Cosmos being present and handing over their Arks of the Cosmos, Knuckles, Sonic and Tails were about to leave when SCR-HD appeared and took all five Arks of the Cosmos to Babylon Garden. This transformed Babylon Garden into Astral Babylon , forming a black hole that threatened to consume the planet. Knuckles, Tails and the Babylon Rogues then followed Sonic to Astral Babylon to disconnect the engine where they faced Master Core: ABIS and defeated it, saving the world.
Later, Knuckles, Sonic, Amy and Tails returned to Monopole, where Tails told Knuckles and the rest of how the Arks of the Cosmos made the robots to go amok. Knuckles and then others then saw Jet flying by, who challenged Sonic to a new race, which Sonic accepted.
Sonic Free Riders
Knuckles in Sonic Free Riders.
In Sonic Free Riders , Knuckles, Sonic and Tails signed up to compete in the second World Grand Prix hosted by Dr. Eggman for the sake of the competition rather than the prizes. As they were interviewed by Omochao before the competition, Knuckles was itchy to begin.
During the first round, Team Heroes faced Team Rose , who Knuckles hardly considered threatning. Additional, he was annoyed by Amy berating of Sonic for not going easy. Though Team Heroes eventually beat Team Rose, Knuckles insisted they should not let their victory go to their heads.
For their next race, Team Heroes faced Team Dark . When Knuckles went up against E-10000B , however, he heard the robot making clicking sounds and moving around funny. After the race, Knuckles blamed E-10000B for foul play, but no proofs of his claims could be found. Regardless, Team Heroes still beat Team Dark.
Having advanced to the finals, Team Heroes met went up against Team Babylon , with Knuckles aggressively ready to face them for the championship. Over the course of the team face-off, Knuckles supposed both his team and mocked Team Babylon as their victory slipped away. After defeating Team Babylon, even when the opposing team was given a second chance due to mechanical trouble, Knuckles was asked for comments and said that that he had a good time since he managed to shut Jet up.
As the tournament progressed, Team Heroes had their own fair share of losses, while Knuckles remaining seriously dedicated to the competition and his team. At the end of the tournament, Knuckles and the other teams went to the awards ceremony to collect their prizes but Eggman made all of the competitors race his "ultimate Gear-jockey robot". After the race, Eggman revealed that he used the World Grand Prix to get the riders' racing data with his E-10000 robots to create the ultimate Extreme Gear which he could use for his own agenda, which Knuckles knew confirmed his suspicion about E-10000E. Eggman then challenged Knuckles and the others to a race, but lost. As Knuckles mocked Eggman for his defeat, Metal Sonic revealed himself as the one controlling E-10000B and passing fake data to Eggman, while taking the real data himself in an effort to beat Sonic in Extreme Gear riding.
Knuckles and the others following watched as Metal Sonic challenged Sonic to a race, in which Sonic defeated his robot copy. Afterwards, as the World Grand prix came to a close and everyone began to leave, Knuckles blamed Eggman for all the trouble they had to face during the tournament.
Sonic the Hedgehog (2006)
Knuckles with Eggman's message.
In Sonic the Hedgehog (2006) , Knuckles saw Dr. Eggman on the outskirts of Soleanna and received a message from the doctor, who told him to give it to Sonic . Telling Tails he wanted to see Sonic, Knuckles awaited Sonic's arrival until he got there and gave him the message. From it, the trio learned that Eggman demanded Sonic's Chaos Emerald in exchange for the return of Princess Elise .
Despite being certain it was a trap, Knuckles, Sonic and Tails went to White Acropolis . When Sonic handed over the Chaos Emerald, however Eggman sent them to an apocalyptic future with a time machine. There, they met Shadow and Rouge . The group then decided to work together to get home by finding enough Chaos Emeralds for a Chaos Control powerful enough for time travel.
While searching for the Chaos Emeralds, Knuckles, Sonic and Tails briefly saw Silver and Blaze talking with Mephiles before they went back in time. The group then learned from their database that Elise would die in the Egg Carrier 's future crash-landing. Locating a Chaos Emerald in Flame Core , Sonic his friends met up with Rouge and Shadow and went to the central volcano, where found the Emerald only for Iblis to attack them. After defeating Iblis, Sonic and Shadow use their two Chaos Emeralds to create a time-space rift, which Knuckles, Tails and Sonic used to return to the present. After that Knuckles helped find information on Elise's whereabouts. Later on, Knuckles helped Sonic through Aquatic Base to save Elise from her imminent death onboard the Egg Carrier.
Knuckles, Tails and Amy having arrived in the End of the World.
Later on, Knuckles passed through Castle Town with Tails and Amy when they were suddenly caught in a spatial distortion created by Solaris and send to End of the World , where they met Shadow, Silver, Rouge, E-123 Omega and Eggman. There, they also found Elise and Sonic, and Knuckles saw to his shock that Sonic was dead, having been killed as a part of Mephiles' plan to remake Solaris. As Solaris prepared to consume time itself, Knuckles opted to destroy him, but it was deemed impossible due to Solaris' temporal omnipresence and Sonic's passing. When Elise sensed that Sonic's soul was still among them however, Knuckles and the others collected the seven Chaos Emeralds to revive Sonic. After Elise revive Sonic as Super Sonic , Knuckles stood behind and supported Super Sonic, Super Shadow and Super Silver as they defeated Solaris before they all were engulfed in light. When Sonic and Elise then ensured Solaris never came to exist, time was reverted, resulting in the events and memories of the adventure being erased and Knuckles to be returned to where he was prior to the events.
Sonic Rivals series
Sonic Rivals
In Sonic Rivals , Knuckles was guarding the Master Emerald when it suddenly disappeared. His search for the Master Emerald eventually took him to Onyx Island where he saw who he believed was Dr. Eggman, but was really Dr. Eggman Nega disguised as Dr. Eggman (Knuckles however, does not realize this throughout the game) with Sonic , and he suspected the doctor was behind the theft. Confronting Eggman Nega, the doctor showed he had turned the Master Emerald into a card with his special camera . Meanwhile, Sonic asked Eggman Nega where Tails and Amy 's where, and Eggman Nega showed that he had turned them into cards too. As Eggman Nega escaped, Knuckles raced Sonic to the doctor.
After they found Eggman Nega, the doctor attacked in the Egg Turtle which they defeated. After the doctor escaped, Knuckles met Shadow , who also looked for Eggman Nega. However, when Shadow criticized him for letting the doctor escape, Knuckles raced Shadow to find Eggman Nega first. When they reached Eggman Nega, Knuckles demanded the Master Emerald back, but the doctor attacked them in the Egg Falcon , which they defeated.
After the battle, Knuckles was teleport to another area by Eggman Nega with the Master Emerald. There, he met Silver , who had come to bring Eggman Nega back to the future. After answering Silver's questions, Knuckles started asking him, but Silver did not answer, provoking Knuckles to chased after him. Eventually, Knuckles found Eggman Nega and asked how he stole the Master Emerald only to be told that Onyx Island was Angel Island before he was attack by Metal Sonic . After beating Metal Sonic, Knuckles pondered about how Onyx Island could be Angel Island when he met Shadow. As Shadow berated him for letting the doctor get away again, Knuckles raced Shadow to Eggman Nega.
When Knuckles found Eggman Nega, the doctor explained that Onyx Island was Angel Island from the future, before he attacked with the Egg Lynx . After defeating the machine, Knuckles tried to make sense of what Eggman Nega said, when he met Sonic and Tails. Not wanting Sonic to outdo him as he seemed to know where the doctor was, Knuckles raced Sonic to Eggman Nega.
When they found Eggman Nega, Knuckles demanded a full explanation. Eggman Nega then revealed that the Master Emerald disappeared because he turned it into a card in the future, which due to the Master Emerald's properties made it disappear in all time frames, and that he then used it to transport the Angel Island in the future to the present as Onyx Island. Deeming Eggman Nega responsible for all this, Knuckles defeated both the Egg Kong and Metal Sonic. Frustrated at his constant defeats, Eggman Nega told Knuckles that he now planned to turn the world into a card and escaped. Sonic and Tails then showed up in the Tornado when they heading to Eggman Nega’s base , and Knuckles teamed up with them to stop Eggman Nega. On their way through Eggman Nega’s base, Knuckles and Sonic met Shadow and Silver and they all put aside their differences to stop Eggman Nega.
At the center of the base, Knuckles and the others found a large spaceship with Eggman Nega’s special camera equipped on that he planned to use to turn the world into a card. Knuckles then noticed that Eggman Nega planned to fuel the device with the Master Emerald's card and some other cards , but the four rivals destroyed the spaceship as it took off, thus foiling Eggman Nega’s plan. With the Master Emerald back, Knuckles planned to use it to send Onyx Island back to the future where it belonged, and as well to look for the other treasures Eggman Nega had trapped in cards.
Sonic Rivals 2
In Sonic Rivals 2 , Knuckles looked for the Master Emerald when it went missing again. Arriving on an island, Knuckles suspected that Dr. Eggman was behind the theft. Knuckles then met Rouge , who offered to take him to Eggman if he helped her find the Chaos Emeralds , which he agreed to. Knuckles then saw Sonic and Tails , who were also looking for Eggman and asked Sonic if he had seen Eggman. Sonic, however, insisted on getting to Eggman first, so Knuckles competed with Sonic to find Eggman.
Knuckles and the others eventually found Dr. Eggman, who was really Eggman Nega masquerading as Dr. Eggman (Knuckles does not realize this throughout the game). Knuckles demanded the Master Emerald back, but the doctor played innocent and attacked in his Egg Liner . Knuckles and Rouge then followed Eggman Nega to Sunset Forest Zone , where Rouge thought the doctor had to have an Emerald Detector to locate the Chaos Emeralds and Master Emerald, and they decided to find this device. On his own, Knuckles met Shadow who insisted on keep them from the Emeralds once he told him story, forcing him to fight him.
Knuckles and Rouge eventually found Eggman Nega with Shadow and Metal Sonic . As Knuckles demanded Eggman's Emerald Detector, the doctor attacked in the Egg Dealer . After defeating it, Knuckles and Rouge got the Emerald Detector, which picked up a signal. As Knuckles searched the area in Neon Palace Zone , he met Silver , who wanted some Chao . After looking for Rings for the Emerald Detector, Knuckles asked Silver of why he sought Chao, but thought he was crazy when he heard it was to save the world, and they ended up fighting. Later on, Knuckles and Rouge found Eggman Nega with Silver and Espio , and the doctor attacked in the Egg Dealer , but the group defeated it.
Arriving in Frontier Canyon Zone , Knuckles and Rouge lost track of Eggman Nega. The Emerald Detector soon found more Emeralds, but Knuckles was frustrated that none of them were the Master Emerald. Knuckles then saw Shadow and Metal Sonic nearby and followed them, with Knuckles chasing Metal Sonic after him after hearing Eggman's voice come from the robot. Shortly after, Knuckles met Rouge, who explained that Eggman Nega sought to bring forth the Ifrit to destroy the world. Just then, Eggman Nega attacked them in the Egg Bull , but Knuckles and Rouge defeated it despite inference from Shadow and Metal Sonic.
At Mystic Haunt Zone , Knuckles was convinced by Rouge that Eggman was here. While looking, Knuckles met Espio and asked him if he had seen Eggman or Shadow, hoping they had the Master Emerald, but was dismissed. Soon after, he met and fought Metal Sonic so he could bring him to Eggman Nega. True enough, Knuckles found Eggman Nega and Shadow, and demanded the Master Emerald. However Eggman instead revealed that he used Rouge to collect the Chaos Emeralds to opening the portal to the Ifrit's world. As Silver then arrived, Knuckles had enough and fought the Egg Phantom .
After the battle, Knuckles saw that the portal to the Ifrit's dimension was opening, despite Rouge only having six Chaos Emeralds (with the seventh unknown to them being inside Metal Sonic). Intending to stop the Ifrit, Knuckles dragged Rouge with him into the Ifrit's dimension . After entering, Knuckles lost track of Rouge and began to look for her, and soon after found the Ifrit, who had taken control of Rouge. With no choice, Knuckles fought both Rouge and the Ifrit. Despite Knuckles occasionally falling prey to the creature's mind control, the two defeated the Ifrit, thus preventing it from leaving its world and got back to their home dimension before the portal closed.
After checking up on Rouge, Knuckles was annoyed the Master Emerald was still lost, but then discovered that it had been inside the Emerald Detector all along. As Knuckles was praise by Rouge for his heroism, he saw Rouge leave with the Master Emerald and he chased after her.
Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood
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What item of food inspired the idea for the computer game pac man? | pacmanmuseum.com - Pac-Man Creator Toru Iwatani Biography
Pac-Man Creator Toru Iwatani Biography
Toru Iwatani (born January 25, 1955) is a Japanese video game designer and created one of the most popular arcade games of all time, Pac-Man. Iwatani was born in the Meguro ward of Tokyo, Japan. In 1977, at the age of 22, Iwatani joined Namco Ltd, a computer software company in Tokyo that produces video games. Game designer Toru Iwatani is totally self-taught, without any formal training in computers, visual arts, or graphic design.
Namco Limited, whose main product lines at the time were projection-based amusement rides and light gun shooting galleries. Iwatani had expected that his job would involve working on pinball machines, and was initially disappointed that he would instead have to work on these strange, clinical 'video-games' instead. By way of compromise, Gee Bee (1978) was a heavily pinball-inspired paddle game, as were his next two designs (presumably developed by modifying Gee Bee), Bomb Bee and Cutie Q (both 1979).
Iwatani wished to create a game that would target women and couples; his goal was for game centers to shed their somewhat sinister image for a lighter atmosphere, and he believed that the key to doing that was to get girls to come in.
Toru Iwatani - around 1980
Programmers at Work
The legend tells that Iwatani's eureka moment came when he removed a slice of pizza from a pie, creating the visual inspiration for his next big thing. It was in this moment that, according to Iwatani, Pac-Man was officially born. Now that he had the look, he needed that special something to attract his target audience. After listening to girls talk to one another, Iwatani determined that food and eating would be the way to get the girls in the arcade halls.
He came up with the idea for "Puck-Man" and around 1978, he, along with Shigeo Funaki (programmer), Toshio Kai (sound and music), a hardware engineer and a cabinet designer produced the game, taking it from concept to finished product. Within 18 months, Iwatani and his team created a game that would change the games world. After many experiments, he came up with Pac-Man chomping his way through food placed around a maze, and being chased by ghosts. The four ghosts - Blinky, Pinky, Inky and Clyde, as they were known outside Japan - were based on Obake no Q-Taro, a famous cartoon ghost.
But bat-and-ball games were already on the way out, and Taito's introduction of Space Invaders in 1979 began an industry-wide shift towards shoot-'em-up games (indeed, Namco were quick to stake their claim in this territory with the Galaxian/Galaga series). Observing that there was too little variety to prevent this schmup-craze from eventually going the same way as the paddle games, Iwatani wanted to try to take his next game in another direction. He wanted to make a game that did not focus on conflict, and would be appealing to male and female audiences. The underlying theme he chose for his new game was 'eating' and the result was Puckman, later to be renamed Pac-Man.
"Puck-Man" was released to the Japanese public on May 22, 1980
where it became a huge success. It caught the attention of arcade-game manufacturer Midway, who bought the United States rights for the game and released the game in the U.S. as "Pac-Man", for fear that kids may deface a Puck-Man cabinet by changing the 'P' to an 'F'. Due to its innovative concept and continuing international popularity, it is regarded as one of the all-time classic video games.
Iwatani went on to create a few other video games, including Ridge Racer, Time Crisis and Libble Rabble, but none of them reached the amount of success that Pac-Man did. He was promoted within the ranks of Namco, eventually being responsible for overseeing the administration of the company. In a VH-1 Game Break interview, Iwatani said he did not personally profit from the creation of Pac-Man, saying, "The truth of the matter is, there were no rewards per se for the success of Pac-Man. I was just an employee. There was no change in my salary, no bonus, no official citation of any kind." Of all his designs, Iwatani's favourite is the 1983 game called Libble Rabble, which he worked on immediately after Pac-Man.
Since April 2005 he has been teaching the subject of Character Design Studies at Osaka University of Arts as visiting professor. Iwatani returned to his Pac-Man roots in 2007 when he developed Pac-Man Championship Edition for the Xbox 360, which he states is the final game he will develop. Iwatani left Namco in March 2007 to become a full-time lecturer at Tokyo Polytechnic University.
"I thought it more important to pass on the know-how that I've accumulated over the last 30 years to the next generation."
Toru Iwatani about "Pac-Man"
Interviewer: What was the thinking behind the design of Pac Man?
Iwatani: First of all, the kanji word "taberu," to eat, came to mind. Game design, you see, often begins with words. I started playing with the word, making sketches in my notebook. All the computer games available at the time were of the violent type - war games and Space Invader types.
There were no games that everyone could enjoy, and especially none for women. I wanted to come up with a "comical" game women could enjoy. The story I like to tell about the origin of Pac Man is that one lunchtime I was quite hungry and I ordered a whole pizza. I helped myself to a wedge and what was left was the idea for the Pac Man shape.
Is that story about the pizza really true?
Iwatani: Well, it's half true. In Japanese the character for mouth (kuchi) is a square shape. It's not circular like the pizza, but I decided to round it out. There was the temptation to make the Pac Man shape less simple. While I was designing this game, someone suggested we add eyes. But we eventually discarded that idea because once we added eyes, we would want to add glasses and maybe a moustache. There would just be no end to it.
I designed Pac-Man to be the simplest character possible, without any features such as eyes or limbs. Rather than defining the image of Pac-Man for the player, I wanted to leave that to each player's imagination.
Food is the other part of the basic concept. In my initial design I had put the player in the midst of food all over the screen. As I thought about it I realised the player wouldn't know exactly what to do: the purpose of the game would be obscure. So I created a maze and put the food in it. Then whoever played the game would have some structure by moving through the maze. The Japanese have a slang word - paku paku - they use to describe the motion of the mouth opening and closing while one eats. The name Pac Man came from that word.
Toru Iwatani and the Pac-Man pizza...
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What is Barbie's boyfriend's first name? | Eat all the food and avoid the ghosts….A Pac-Man themed If/Then | Free for All
Eat all the food and avoid the ghosts….A Pac-Man themed If/Then
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Though there appears to be a bit of debate on the actual birthday of the classic video game, Pac-Man (Google says May 21, Wikipedia says May 22), we here at the library will be celebrating it on May 21, mostly because it is my mom’s birthday, as well, and she is the reigning champion of Pac-Man, at least in our family. (Happy Birthday, Momma!)
Pac-Man was one of the most popular arcade games of the 1980’s, having amassed some $2.5 billion in quarters alone by the late 1990’s. It remains one of the most well-recognized brands in the world, and has a place both in the Smithsonian in Washington, D.C., and in New York’s Museum of Modern Art. Not bad for a game inspired by a pizza dinner. Developer Toru Iwatani stated in interviews that he designed the classic little yellow hero of Pac-Man after being inspired by a pizza that was missing a slice. The name of the game is actually a riff on a Japanese slang phrase, ‘paku-paku’, which is meant to imitate the sound of lips smacking.
The fuzzy little monsters (or ‘ghosts’, to purists) who wander the mazes of the game were each designed with their own unique personalities and habits, which was intended to make game-play a little more entertaining. Though US arcade machines give their names as ‘Blinky’, ‘Pinky, ‘Inky’, and ‘Clyde’, (for the Red, Pink, Blue, and Orange fuzzies respectively), Iwatani’s original names for them were (as translated from Japanese) ‘Chaser’, ‘Ambusher’, ‘Fickle’, and ‘Stupid’….Poor little Orange Guy…..
And, just to make sure you got your full dose of random trivia facts for the day, the first person to achieve the maximum possible score on Pac-Man was Billy Mitchell, of Hollywood, Florida, on July 3, 1990, after a play time of approximately six hours.
Though it received something of a lukewarm reception in Japan, the game was a smash-hit in the United States, and retains its popularity in to this day. In fact, in the trailer for the upcoming film Pixel , you’ll see a big, lovely little paku-paku making his way through the city. Additionally, following this link will take you to the Google Doodle honoring Pac-Man‘s 30th birthday, where you can actually play the game (which is where my Mom hones her formidable skills).
So, without further ado….If you like Pac-Man (or video games in general), Then be sure to check out:
Ready Player One : Though set in a bleak not-too-distant future, Ernest Clive’s smash-hit novel is a sweet, nostalgic love song to the 80’s, particularly its video games. Hero Wade Watts escapes his impoverished, despondent world by disappearing inside OASIS, a virtual reality universe where people meet, learn, earn money, and remain constantly on the hunt for the elusive fortune supposedly hidden within the game by James Halliday for those clever enough to find the keys. An exciting, romantic, and utterly original book, even though who aren’t old enough to remember the legwarmers and teased hair of the 80’s will still have heaps of fun reading this book. Fans also might be interested to know that Steven Spielberg (who is mentioned in the book) is planning to bring Ready Player One to the big screen soon.
Reamde:
Neil Stephenson’s first book after an eight year hiatus was well worth the worth for fans of his edgy, genre-bending stories. In this story, aging, reclusive billionaire Richard Forthrast has apparently created a virtual paradise inside the world of his cyberworld, known as T’Rain. But when a fortune hunter accidentally triggers a war inside the system, the lines between reality fantasy blur–with frighteningly real consequences. The beauty of Stephenson’s work is that it is accessible even to those among us who aren’t as familiar with computers or with role-playing games. Instead, he deals with issues of identity and power that take this book from a cyber-thriller into something much grander and complex.
Only You Can Save Mankind : Because no book list should be complete without a little Terry Pratchett thrown in. This debut of his Johnny Maxwell trilogy is a sensational adventure story for kids, but Pratchett’s arch humor and wonderful insight make this a fun read for adults, as well. When young Johnny Maxwell receives a pirate copy of a strange computer game from his friend Warbler, he thinks it’s only a bit of fun–until the games characters surrender to Johnny, making him the ruler of their cyber realm. It might seem like a mere flight of fancy, until Johnny realizes that every other copy of the game is changing based on his own actions. Pratchett contrasts the fantastic world of “Only You Can Save Mankind” with the coverage of the First Gulf War on Johnny’s TV, adding a fascinating comparison to the battles on the computer screen.
Tron : Another in our line-up of 1980’s tributes. Tron was first inspired by director Steven Lisberger’s love of the game Pong, and was originally intended to be an animated film. Eventually, however, it turned into a ground-breaking live-action/computer-animation blend film about a computer programmer who is transported into his computer’s mainframe and must not only find his way out, but destroy his nemesis back in the real world at the same time. Though it received only moderate box office success, the original Tron became a classic for its innovative production values, and also because all the youngin’s who learned about it through the Disney sequel seem to think the 80’s were delightful and quaint. Those of us who harbor an ongoing horror of blue-eyeshadow and Aqua-net hairspray may beg to differ…
Death Match: This is a bit of a long-shot, but since computers feature so prominently in this book, and because it’s received pretty high reviews from the library staff, we’re including this one here. Though perhaps better known for his collaborations with Douglas Preston, Lincoln Child is quite an author in his own right, and this thriller in particular is an excellent example. The tech-saavy match-making company knwon as Eden has built its reputation on bringing finding each person’s perfect match–and, in rare occasions, their computer programs locate two people who are 100% compatible. But when these ‘supercouples’ begin dying in what looks to be double suicides, Eden’s founder realizes that more than his company’s reputation is at risk. Though its pace is lightning-quick and the twists and turns are plentiful, Child also manages to weave in some pretty interesting ideas about the nature of human intellect and emotions, and the power we give to the machines we create.
We hope you enjoy this week’s IF/THEN selection. Please let us know if there are other books you would recommend, too!
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Which company who make toy cars and other models won the first toy of the year award in 1965 for a model Aston Martin from the first James Bond film? | Corgi James Bond Aston Martin | eBay
Corgi James Bond Aston Martin
Corgi James Bond Aston Martin
Corgi James Bond Aston Martin
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Original Corgi diecast metal car, missing the roof and passenger, fair condition. Buying collections of old toys.
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Corgi 261 James Bond Aston Martin. Insert background excellent-very good. I hold the exclusive rights to all my photographs, usage is not permitted. 1 end flap loose/included. Original box good-fair.
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CORGI COLLECTIBLES: JAMES BOND 007 ASTON MARTIN DB10 DIE-CAST SPORTS (DIE CAST 1:36 SCALE). Just released by Corgi Toys Inc. Low profile rubber tires.
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MODEL # 04202 GOLDFINGER. The collection includes almost every single James Bond Aston Martin DB5 produced sold by Corgi. ASTON MARTIN DB5 COLLECTION. MODEL NAME – ASTON MARTIN DB5. JAMES BOND CORGI T...
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James Bond 007, is one the most recognized characters around the world and his Aston Martin DB5 is as synonymous as it is a memorable part of the series. In 1965, Corgi won the first Toy of the Year A...
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What was the name of the Japanese virtual pets that became very popular throughout the world in 1997? | Hornby to make James Bond branded products for new movie Spectre in its Corgi and Scalextric toys based in Margate and Hersden, Canterbury
Hornby to make James Bond branded products for new movie Spectre in its Corgi and Scalextric toys based in Margate and Hersden, Canterbury
08 December 2014
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Model manufacturer Hornby is once again working with the spy who loves them after securing a worldwide licence to make James Bond-themed products.
The Margate-based company, which has its warehouse operations in Hersden, Canterbury, will make branded Corgi and Scalextric toys with the rights to the new James Bond film Spectre, due for release late next year.
It continues a long-running association with the character created by Ian Fleming, who lived partly in St Margaret’s Bay overlooking the White Cliffs of Dover.
Hornby has a long-running association with making James Bond-themed toys
Corgi made a replica of the Aston Martin DB5 from Goldfinger, which Hornby chief executive Richard Ames said won “the very first toy of the year award in 1965”.
The new range is already under development and will be on display at the London Toy Fair in January with shipments beginning in the second half of next year.
Mr Ames said: “James Bond has been a fantastic licensed partnership for our brands going back over 50 years.
“Scalextric sets featuring the James Bond movie vehicles are always popular with our consumers and we are looking forward to seeing the new cars featured in the film.”
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24 Nov 2014
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Nicknamed the Black Panther, who was the top scorer in the 1966 World Cup finals? | Eusebio, the 'Black Panther' who lit up 1966 football World Cup – NDTV Sports
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Lisbon:
Known as the "Black Panther" or simply "The King", football legend Eusebio, who has died aged 71, reigned over Portuguese football in the 1960s, bringing glory to both his club Benfica and his country.
The top scorer in the 1966 World Cup and considered one of the best footballers of all time, Eusebio da Silva Ferreira died of cardio-pulmonary arrest early on Sunday morning.
"Eusebio will always be eternal. Rest in peace," wrote Cristiano Ronaldo, the star of the Portuguese national team, in a message posted on his Facebook account alongside a photo of himself and Eusebio.
The top Portuguese footballer of all time Eusebio rivalled all-time greats including Brazilian Pele, Argentina's Alfredo Di Stefano and England's Bobby Charlton.
"I was the best player in the world, top scorer in the world and Europe. I did everything, except win a World Cup," Eusebio said in a interview in 2011, recalling his tears after Portugal's loss in the 1966 World Cup semi-final to England.
From humble origins in the former Portuguese colony of Mozambique, Eusebio da Silva Ferreira was to emerge as one of the World Cup's most feared strikers, combining panther-like pace with a ferocious shooting ability.
Known throughout his career simply as Eusebio, the poor boy from Maputo became a legend for his exploits with Portugal and Lisbon giants Benfica during the 1960s.
Born in 1942, he rose to prominence in Mozambique football circles as a teenager through his performances for Sporting Lourenco Marques, a team with links to Sporting Lisbon.
With his exceptional technique, strength and goal-scoring record, it was not long before word of Eusebio's prowess soon filtered back to Portugal. In December 1960 he was offered trials with Sporting.
Although keen, Eusebio was not willing to risk leaving his beloved mother unless there was the firm promise of a contract. Sporting baulked, creating an opening for Benfica, who snapped up the youngster's signature.
A wrangle with Sporting Lourenco Marques over Eusebio's registration was finally settled, and in 1961 he made his debut for the club, scoring a hat-trick in a friendly.
Over the next five years, Eusebio developed as one of world football's best players.
In an early game for Benfica, he had outshone Pele in a friendly with Santos, and in 1962 he scored the crucial goals in a 5-3 victory over Real Madrid in the European Cup final.
When Madrid's legendary Hungarian Ferenc Puskas symbolically handed his jersey to Eusebio after the match, the message was clear - the torch had passed, and in 1965 Eusebio was named European Player of the Year.
1966 World Cup exploits
But while Eusebio excelled with Benfica in Europe, it was his exploits at the 1966 World Cup for which he will be best remembered.
Eusebio's nine goals in England propelled Portugal to a third-place finish, and a succession of opposing teams simply had no answer to the power and pace of his play.
He scored twice in the 3-1 victory which sent holders Brazil out of the competition, showing great technique to lash home a spectacular volley for his second goal.
In the quarter-finals Eusebio was unstoppable, pulling off a one-man rescue act after Portugal went 3-0 down against North Korea after just 20 minutes.
The Koreans were blown away by a four-goal display from Eusebio as the Portuguese won 5-3.
In the semi-final against England Eusebio was effectively marked out of the match but he did find the net again. He scored his ninth of the tournament in the third-place play-off win over the Soviet Union.
He finished his 64-cap career having accumulated 41 goals for Portugal. He also earned European football's Golden Boot award twice and was Portugal's top scorer every season between 1964 and 1973.
He helped Benfica to 11 league championships and five domestic cups. He also appeared on the losing side in the European Cup finals of 1963 and 1968.
In 1975 he joined the flow of players involved in the ill-fated North American Soccer League, before retiring in 1979 after winding down his career in Mexico and Portugal.
In retirement he became an ambassador for Benfica and the Portuguese football federation. Always present at major events, he rubbed shoulders with current stars, among them the young Ronaldo, now the Portugal captain, and the only one who could one day dethrone "The King".
| Eusébio |
Which Dutch footballer scored 90 goals in 135 games for A. C. Milan in the late 1980s and early 1990s? | 1966 World Cup History - SuperSport - Football
seconds
1966 World Cup History
1930 | 1934 | 1938 | 1950 | 1954 | 1958 | 1962 | 1966 | 1970 | 1974 | 1978 | 1982 | 1986 | 1990 | 1994 | 1998 | 2002 | 2006
With the United States ever more involved in the conflict with Vietnam, football returned to the country that invented the game 103 years earlier -- England.
Brazil and Italy were the two big name casualties in the group stages. An ageing Brazil side lost to Eusebio-inspired Portugal 3-1 while Italy suffered the shock result of the tournament when they crashed 1-0 to North Korea, Pak Doo Ik becoming a household name in England by scoring the only goal.
England advanced in solid if unspectacular style to the semi-finals, where they faced Eusebio and co. Two brilliant efforts by Bobby Charlton put paid to the Portuguese at Wembley.
West Germany, coaxed by new find Franz Beckenbauer, defeated the Soviet Union at Goodison Park to take their place at the home of football for the final.
Helmut Haller put the Germans ahead but Geoff Hurst equalised before half-time. Martin Peters looked to have clinched the cup for the hosts until Wolfgang Weber snatched a dramatic late equaliser to force extra time in a final for only the second time in history.
Hurst scored twice in the additional period to become the first player to score a World Cup final hat-trick. His second goal was highly controversial, bouncing down off the crossbar and, according to the linesman, over the line.
1966 WORLD CUP LEGENDS
England: b. 1941, d. 1993
Probably the finest defender to have ever played for England.
Elegant central defender-cum-sweeper, a master of anticipation with a well-timed tackle and an accurate pass.
As England's captain in their 1966 World Cup triumph at Wembley, his pass from deep set up Geoff Hurst for the clinching goal in extra-time. Voted player of the tournament.
Legendary Scottish manager Jock Stein once said of Moore: "There ought to be a law against him. He know's what's happening 20 minutes before everybody else."
Won 108 caps for his country, the most by any England outfield player, and helped West Ham to FA Cup and European Cup Winners' Cup glory.
Moore was respected throughout the world and won the personal admiration of Pele after an outstanding duel in the 1970 World Cup finals in Mexico.
Tributes from all around the world poured in after his death in 1993 from cancer, and West Ham named their new stand after him.
Geoff HURST
England: b. 1941
The only man ever to have scored a hat-trick in a World Cup final.
Like so many World Cup heroes, target-man Hurst wasn't first-choice when the tournament began. Hurst had been nurtured by Ron Greenwood at West Ham, whose side included internationals Martin Peters and the incomparable Bobby Moore, Tottenham's Jimmy Greaves was coach Alf Ramsey's preferred option.
When Greaves was injured early in the tournament, Hurst grabbed his chance and wrote himself into World Cup legend.
His hat-trick in the 4-2 win against West Germany included a header, a right-foot shot and a left-foot shot.
The second goal, which made it 3-2, remains one of the great controversial moments in World Cup history. Hurst's shot bounced off the crossbar and, according to the Azerbaijani linesman, over the line.
The final was only Hurst's eighth international appearance, and he went on to collect 49 caps in total, scoring 24 goals.
EUSEBIO da Silva Ferreia
Portugal: b. 1942
Explosive Mozambique-born striker nicknamed "the Black Panther" who had a thunderous right-foot shot and electric pace allied to tremendous athletic ability.
Finished top scorer in the 1966 World Cup finals with nine goals, including four to rescue Portugal against North Korea after they had trailed 3-0.
Tormented Brazil as Portugal beat the world champions 3-1, memorably reprimanding his team-mate Morais for a dreadful foul on Pele. His blinding skill earned him another nickname -- "the European Pele".
He was left in tears after Bobby Charlton's two brilliant goals knocked the Portuguese out of the semifinals in England.
Won the prestigious European Footballer of the Year award in 1965, and finished Portugal's leading scorer for an amazing nine consecutive seasons with Benfica.
1966 WORLD CUP SCORERS
Valeri Porkujan (USSR) 4
1966 WORLD CUP TRIVIA
- England, who qualified automatically as hosts, were the only British nation to make it to the finals.
- Eight venues were used: Manchester (Old Trafford), Birmingham (Villa Park), Middlesbrough (Ayresome Park), Sunderland (Roker Park), Liverpool (Goodison Park), London (Wembley and White City) and Sheffield (Hillsborough).
- Four months before England won the World Cup they lost it. The solid gold trophy was stolen and a week later a mongrel dog named Pickles discovered a parcel under a bush in south London. It turned out to be the World Cup.
- In Group Three Hungary ended Brazil's 13-match unbeaten run with a 3-1 win at Goodison. The injured Pele was badly missed.
- North Korea gained their first World Cup finals point and scored their first goal when Seung Zin struck the equaliser against Chile.
- Legendary Mexican goalkeeper Antonio Carbajal waved goodbye to the World Cup after the 0-0 draw with Uruguay at Wembley. At 37-years-old, he was competing in his fifth World Cup.
- In Group Four came the shock result of the tournament when North Korea beat mighty Italy 1-0. Pak Doo Ik became a household name in Britain after scoring the matchwinner in the first half.
Italy were eliminated as the North Koreans became the first Asian team to reach the quarterfinals.
- North Korea shook Portugal by scoring in the first minute through Pak Seung Zin. They actually led 3-0 at one stage until Eusebio scored four goals, including two from the spot, to help Portugal to a 5-3 win at Goodison.
- Geoff Hurst became the first and so far only player to score a hat-trick in a World Cup final in the 4-2 defeat of West Germany.
He was only playing after Jimmy Greaves suffered an injury earlier in the tournament.
1966 WORLD CUP WINNING SQUAD
England
Goalkeepers: Gordon Banks, Peter Bonetti, Ron Springett
Defenders: Jimmy Armfield, Gerald Byrne, Jack Charlton, George Cohen, Bobby Moore (capt), Ray Wilson
Midfielders: Alan Ball, Ian Callaghan, Bobby Charlton, George Eastham, Ron Flowers, Norman Hunter, Martin Peters, Nobby Stiles
Forwards: John Connelly, Jimmy Greaves, Roger Hunt, Geoff Hurst, Terry Paine.
Coach: Alf Ramsey
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Who scored the last ever goal in an FA Cup semi-final replay? | FA Cup: 17 years since Ryan Giggs' semi-final magic - BBC Sport
BBC Sport - FA Cup: 17 years since Ryan Giggs' semi-final magic
FA Cup: 17 years since magical Giggs goal
14 Apr 2016
From the section Football
It is 17 years to the day since Ryan Giggs scored a magical solo goal in an FA Cup semi-final replay against Arsenal at Villa Park in 1999.
Arsenal and Manchester United could not be separated when they met in the 1999 semi-final at Villa Park on 11 April as the Premier League's then top two played out a goalless draw.
But three days later the last-ever FA Cup semi-final replay would go down in history as a night of high drama.
Goals from David Beckham and Dennis Bergkamp either side of half-time had left the tie poised at 1-1.
Enter Ryan Giggs with 11 minutes remaining in extra time.
| Ryan Giggs |
Who won the 1974 World Cup as a player and the 1990 World Cup as a coach? | Remembering Ryan Giggs' Manchester United vs. Arsenal 1999 FA Cup Semi-Final | Bleacher Report
Remembering Ryan Giggs' Manchester United vs. Arsenal 1999 FA Cup Semi-Final
By Paul Ansorge , Featured Columnist
Mar 8, 2015
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Ryan Giggs ' Manchester United career was so long, so trophy-laden and so full of extraordinary peaks that it should be impossible to use one 10-second passage of play against Arsenal in which to embody it.
And yet, it is not. Because among all the drama of Manchester United's 1998/99 season—all of the sublime, transcendent moments of footballing magic that it contained—Ryan Giggs scored the most Ryan Giggs-like goal of all time.
Almost everyone knows the story.
In extra-time of the FA Cup 's last-ever semi-final replay, with the score tied at 1-1, the era's two best English sides were going at it hammer and tongs. United were down to 10 men, and Arsenal had missed a penalty, thanks to Denis Bergkamp's tame attempt to beat Peter Schmeichel from the spot.
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Patrick Vieira, Arsenal talisman and symbol of their side of the fight between the two clubs, as Roy Keane was for United, wearily attempted a pass across the ground to someone in Arsenal red.
Instead, he found Giggs, fresher than most of the rest, having only entered the fray after an hour, left out of the starting line-up in favour of Jesper Blomqvist. The rest, or at least the next 10 seconds, is history.
Part of the reason the goal can be used to sum up Ryan Giggs lies in its execution. The sway of the hips and the tip-toed running style is vintage Giggs. Rarely was Sir Alex Ferguson's famous quote about seeing him for the first time more appropriate (h/t the Guardian ).
"He was 13 and just floated over the ground like a cocker spaniel chasing a piece of silver paper on the wind."
In April of 1999, Giggs was 25, but he still floated over the ground like that.
Thus, the goal would stand as an excellent primer for someone asking the question "what kind of player was Ryan Giggs?" even if it had been scored in a friendly.
However, the game it was scored in was anything but a friendly, and thus as well as summing up the best of his playing style, it also captures what he was like as a sportsman, a competitor and as a conduit for the pre-knighthood Alex Ferguson on the pitch.
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He served as the latter in a different way to, say, Keane, but almost as effectively, providing the flair and joie de vivre that once defined Ferguson's approach to the game.
The context of the goal is crucial in terms of understanding its importance because 1997/98 had been a difficult season for United. Fergie's side had developed a taste for success by this point as the dominant force in English football in the 1990s. Arsenal were a genuine threat to their supremacy.
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Before '98, United had won four of the past five titles and had seen off Blackburn Rovers and Kevin Keegan's Newcastle United as pretenders to the throne. Arsene Wenger's Arsenal were a different proposition. Gary Neville described them as the best English side he faced during his career, per talkSPORT , saying:
"That 1998 Arsenal team had everything pace, power, strength, great defenders, a good goalkeeper and good finishers. That was a complete team."
The following season, Ferguson's side had risen to the challenge of Wenger's men. When they met for the replay, on April 14, 1999, United were, of course, still in the Champions League and sat atop the Premier League, one point ahead of the Gunners, with a seven-better goal difference and with a game in hand.
As an aside, the manner in which they had achieved their goal differences could hardly have been more different. United, at their most free-wheeling, had done it by scoring 69 and conceding 32. Arsenal, at their meanest, had scored 43 but conceded just 13.
The initial semi-final tie had been a 0-0 draw, although United had a goal ruled out that probably should have stood.
Clive Brunskill/Getty Images
By the time Giggs' goal came around, the replay was hardly the clash of attack versus defence that the sides' respective goal difference would have indicated. After Keane's red card, it was Arsenal on the front foot.
As Daniel Harris describes in his book about the 1998/99 season The Promised Land:
Arsenal pushed forward seeking a winner. United attempted to hang on for penalties, [Dwight] Yorke loitering around upfield and everyone else massed around their box.
Harris goes on to point out that Giggs was not having a good game.
The cause was not helped by the efforts of one RJ Giggs, Esq, who, on as a second half substitute for Blomqvist, had contrived a performance careless even by his exulted standards.
The pre-Giggs goals in this game are worthy of a mention at this point. David Beckham 's opener is a classic example of a goal that would garner a lot more attention had it not been overshadowed by later events.
Years later, Dimitar Berbatov's artful overhead bicycle kick against Liverpool was superseded in the collective unconscious of United fans by Wayne Rooney 's dramatic effort against Manchester City . Similarly, Beckham's magnificent long-range, curled strike was surpassed by Giggs' run.
Clive Brunskill/Getty Images
Beckham's hit was as "Beckham" as Giggs' goal was "Giggs." It looks almost like a free-kick from open play, as Teddy Sheringham gathered the attentions of Arsenal's defenders, then found Beckham in space. There may not have been another player on the pitch who would have found the same finish as United's Cockney red.
Bergkamp's equaliser was another fine long-range strike, but it took a heavy deflection off his compatriot Jaap Stam. That it beat Schmeichel, then, contained an element of good fortune.
After that, Arsenal had a Nicolas Anelka goal correctly ruled out for offside. United missed a number of presentable chances throughout the match, with Ole Gunnar Solskjaer having an off day—though he would make up for that later in the season.
Shaun Botterill/Getty Images
When Giggs set off on that run, latching on to Viera's exhausted pass, he ran through Arsenal's mean defence like a knife through butter. He blasted the ball into the roof of the net, past the best English goalkeeper of his generation.
He did so in extra-time in an FA Cup semi-final replay, when United were chasing glory on three fronts. Under immense pressure, he summoned the best of his footballing gifts and the best of his will to win, and he let loose the most effective of his footballing instincts. It was pure, unadulterated Giggs.
His celebration is, of course, an iconic image, with joy and chest-hair unconfined, in a manner which was not yet a bookable offence. It is no wonder he celebrated so wildly, given what he had just accomplished.
After the game, Ferguson delivered one of his all-time great post-match interviews to ITV Sport. Gary Newbon began the discussion by saying "this isn't what you needed really, you needed a result but you didn't need extra-time, 10 men, a real battle like that"?
Ferguson replied:
Look, who's to know what's gonna happen in football, Gary. It could all blow up in our face at the end of the day. But can you forget moments like this? Our supporters will be talking about that for years [16 years later he is proved definitively correct about this assertion].
The players will be talking about that for years, that's what football's about. Trying to reach peaks and climaxes to a season, which we are doing at the moment. We're in a final, we've got something in the bank for ourselves, now we go and try and win this league now.
Giggs' goal did not single-handedly fire United to the treble. It was an accomplishment of such magnitude that it needed many similar moments of magic to accomplish.
This moment of magic in particular, though, was one of the sweetest. United's supporters are indeed still talking about it, and those who remember it will probably talk about it for the rest of their days.
Shaun Botterill/Getty Images
A magnificent goal, from a magnificent player, scored in a magnificent game, played in United's most magnificent season.
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In which year were red and yellow cards first used in the English leagues? | How English football came to love and curse the red card - BBC News
BBC News
How English football came to love and curse the red card
By Martin Winch BBC News
10 August 2013
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Image caption Red cards were first introduced to the global game in 1970
When Saturday comes, it brings with it goals, shock results and a sprinkling of the dreaded yellow and red cards.
But while the goals and upsets have been occurring in the Football League for 125 years , the same cannot be said for the handing out of cards.
They made their debut in the English game in 1976, and the first player to receive a red one was Blackburn Rovers winger Dave Wagstaffe.
The former Wolves midfielder, who died this week aged 70, was given his marching orders in a Division Two match at Leyton Orient on 2 October. Later that afternoon a certain George Best also saw red playing for Fulham at Southampton in the same division.
But where did the idea for the cards come from?
Traffic lights
The cards were shown after the Football League voluntarily adopted a system introduced to the game in the 1970 World Cup.
David Barber, from the Football Association, said the idea is credited to English referee Ken Aston from Ilford, London.
Image caption Winger Dave Wagstaffe left Wolves in 1976 for Blackburn Rovers
Mr Barber said: "He refereed the 1963 FA Cup Final and was in charge of the referees at the '66 World Cup, during which there was confusion over [Argentina's] Antonio Rattin's dismissal against England.
"Had he actually been sent off?"
The player had indeed been given his marching orders, for reasons that were about as unclear as the indication of the dismissal itself.
Mr Aston had to help persuade Argentina's captain to leave the field of play.
It was while the referee was driving along Kensington High Street that he had the idea of introducing yellow and red cards in a bid to overcome language barriers and give a clear indication to players and supporters alike.
He was stopped at traffic lights when it dawned on him that yellow could be for a caution, a warning to a player to take it easy. And red would simply mean stop - your game is over.
The card system was trialled at the 1970 World Cup in Mexico and they were introduced into European club games at some point afterwards.
Football violence
Some six years later they made their way into the English game where they were used in the domestic game for less than five years initially.
Tony Brown, from SoccerData, explained why two red cards were shown on the day they were introduced.
"Wagstaffe was the first to receive a red, for arguing with the ref [after 36 mins]," Mr Brown said.
"George Best received a red for foul language in the 67th minute."
Image caption The inspiration for the cards came from colours of the traffic light
He added: "In 1980, there was concern over violence on and off the pitch.
"The FA, not the League, thought that 'demonstrative referees' were part of the problem, and decided to do away with red cards."
The decision was ratified by the FA Council in January 1981 and two of the last red cards, for the time being, were shown to David Hodgson and Nicky Reid in a game between Manchester City and Middlesbrough.
But Mr Brown said that by 1987 "the International Board, the rule-making body of the international game, said that England was out of step and should reintroduce cards for the 1987-88 season".
Luton Town forward Mick Harford had the dubious honour of being shown the first red card in a league match following their reintroduction. The Hatter walked just four minutes into the opening day defeat at Derby County in Division One on 15 August 1987.
Over 9,000 have followed in domestic matches and European games involving English teams, according to the English National Football Archive.
The National Football Museum said the issuing of cards became part of the FA's laws of the game in 1992.
And while showing red and yellow helps make referees' decisions clear most of the time, the debate over whether they should or should not have been issued rumbles on among the tales of goals and results up and down the country.
| one thousand nine hundred and seventy six |
Which Oscar winning actress is an anagram of Bringing Dream? | History of the Laws
All Blacks Barbarians Canada British & Irish Lions Ireland Scotland Springboks USA Wales Wallabies
The First Rules
The work to draw up the first rules of Rugby football started on 25 August 1845 and ended on 28th August. The work was done by three senior pupils at Rugby School after they received instructions to codify the game of Football.
The three pupils were William Delafield Arnold, the seventeen year old son of the former headmaster, W.W. Shirley, who was just sixteen and Frederick Hutchins.
They submitted 37 Rules to the Sixth Levee; they were immediately passed and a Rule Book was printed. The rules were updated regularly over the coming years, in 1846-7 for example a large committee met to review and revise the rules but only a few minor changes were made.
In 1862 an attempt was made to "codify the customs" See 1862 Rules .
The 1871 Laws
On 26th January, 1871, The Rugby Football Union was founded in the Pall Mall Restaurant in Regent Street, London, to standardize the rules that also removed some of the more violent aspects of the Rugby School game.
Along with the founding of the Rugby Football Union a committee was formed, and three ex-Rugby School pupils (Rutter, Holmes and L.J. Maton), all lawyers, were invited to help formulate a set of rules, being lawyers they formulated 'laws' not 'rules'.
(Wimbledon Hornets)
Most of the work was done by Maton as he broke his leg playing rugby and was laid up so he attempted the first draft. He did this in Holmes' law chambers. This task was completed and the laws were accepted by the full committee on 22 June 1871, and brought into force by a Special General Meeting 2 days later. The laws outlawed the practice of hacking and tripping.
Six Scottish clubs i.e. Glasgow Academicals, Edinburgh University in 1871 and Edinburgh Academicals, Royal High School and Edinburgh Wanderers in 1872, recognized that this new code was more comprehensive and up to date than their own 'Green book' and adopted it, as well as becoming members of the RFU.
Laws used for the first International
Reference: The Glasgow Herald March 25, 1871 which reported that the match would use the Rugby School rules with two minor alterations (both which were customary in the London area):
1. The ball, on going into touch, is to be thrown into the ground again from the spot where it crossed the line, and not where it first pitched into touch.
2. For a try at goal, the ball is brought out in a straight line from where it was touched down. (This would eliminate the alternative choice of punting it out after a touch down).
In the London area there was a generally-observed rule that a player could gather up a ball whether rolling or bounding. Scottish clubs only allowed it in the latter case and this was agreed for the first international.
Formation of the Rugby International Board (IB)
In 1884 England played Scotland at Blackheath, in the second half, Kindersley of England was awarded a try by Irish Referee A Scriven. This was hotly disputed by Scotland since C.W. Berry (Scotland) had knocked the ball back immediately before Kindersley picked it up and this was illegal in the eyes of the Scots, but not the English. An important point to note was that the advantage law was not introduced until 1896 and so if this was illegal, then play had to stop. It was agreed to continue the game and refer this to the Rugby Union Committee afterwards. However, the SRU and the RFU could not agree and the match the following year was not scheduled as a result. Read further article by Peter Shortell
When the Irish Union met for their AGM in 1885 they recommended that the 4 home unions meet and discus forming a body to settle any such international disputes. The unions then met in Dublin in 1886 and at that meeting Scotland offered to drop their dispute to the 1884 result if England joined such an international body which composed and equal number of representatives from each union. The international board was then inaugurated in Manchester in 1886 but the RFU were not represented and would not accept the constitutional terms the IB was established under.
When the RFU amended their laws, the other unions did not accept this and referred the decision to the IB. The RFU then offered to allow representatives of the other unions to their committee meetings but this was ignored.
In December 1887 the IB made a statement that IB rules must apply to all international matches and that no games with England would be arranged until they joined the IB. Therefore no games were played in 1888 and 1889.
The dispute then went to arbitration and Lord Kingsburgh, the Lord Justice Clerk and Major Marindin, president of the Football Association met in April 1890 and made a judgment which recognised the claim of Scotland, Ireland and Wales to share in the making of laws and thereby formalized the Rugby International Board. Henceforth all international games were played under the IB rules. Due to the size of the English union it was awarded 6 members on the board whereas the other unions got 2 a piece. A simple majority vote would be used to settle any future disputes but a three-forths majority would be required to modify the laws.
On Feb 8th, 1892 the Rugby International Board met. Discussions included a plan for a systematic revision of the laws, an agreement to fix the qualification criteria for playing internationally for a country, an agreement to for secretaries of the various unions to meet to avoid schedulling conflicts.
Members present were:
R.S.Warren (Ireland) in the chair, E. McAllister (secretary) (Ireland), J.A> Smith and R.G.Raine (Scotland), A.J.Gould and W.D.Phillips (Wales), and Rowland-Hill, J McLaren, M Newsome, J.R.S. Whalley, J Budd and W.Cail (England).
In 1910 the RFU volunteered to reduce its IB votes from 6 to 4.
Until 1930 each union had its own set of laws for its home matches. In 1930 England proposed and Ireland seconded that "all matches should be played under the laws of the International board.
Report on law changes 1931-32 by E. H. D. Sewell
Advert placed in The Sunday Post 20th January 1935
In 1947 New Zealand, Australia and South Africa were admitted with 2 votes each, then given to all member unions. France were admitted in 1978 and in 1991 Argentina, Canada, Italy and Japan were admitted.
So as of 2006 the IRB consists of the eight foundations Unions each with two seats - Scotland, Ireland, Wales, England, Australia, New Zealand, South Africa and France. Argentina, Canada, Italy and Japan each have one seat on the Council as does FIRA-AER.
Officials
Red and Yellow cards
The system of using yellow and red cards by the referee was invented by a Association Football referee Ken Ashton.
Aston thought of the yellow and red cards while sitting at a traffic light after attending the 1966 World Cup quarter-final between England and Argentina. Newspapers had reported that both Jack and Bobby Charlton had been booked, but there was no public indication of this from the referee. The Argentinian captain Antonio Rattin had to be led off the field after being sent off as he apparently didn't understand what was happening. Aston pondered how to make the position clearer. "As I drove down Kensington High Street, the traffic light turned red. I thought, 'Yellow, take it easy; red, stop, you're off'."
The idea was subsequently adopted by Association football at national and international level. Red and yellow cards were introduced to the game at the World Cup finals in Mexico in 1970.
In 1976, colored cards made their first appearance at League matches. However, there was still resistance from some quarters. Players complained that referees were showing the cards too often. The cards were removed between 1981 and 1987. The game became more messy so the referees and the administrators had to get together to define some ground rules for the use of the yellow and red cards. The cards returned to the field in 1988 but it wasn't until 1992 that the cards were actually incorporated into the Laws of the Game and made mandatory at all levels. Ken Ashton died aged 86 on October 23, 2001.
Yellow cards are also in use in other sports, such as volleyball, women's lacrosse, field hockey, rugby union, rugby league in many countries, and handball.
In both rugby codes, a player shown a yellow card is suspended from the game for 10 minutes (colloquially termed being sent to the 'sin bin', although neither Rugby nor Ice Hockey where the concept came from, call it a 'sin bin'). The bin lasts ten minutes within a single eighty minute game. It is playing time, it stops when the clock is stopped for injury, and does not expire at the end of the first half.
Piet Robbertse, a Test and Currie Cup Final referee and later the chairman of South African referees recounts a time when Bertie Strasheim, a top referee in the Sixties who refereed Tests and the 1968 Currie Cup Final, was once refereeing a game where he ordered a prop to sit on the touch-line till he called him back, which he did after three minutes or so. Strasheim did this as there was no middle measure between letting the nuisance stay on the field and sending him off.
Robbertse says this provoked a lot of discussion and Dr Craven tested the idea in his law laboratory at Stellenbosch where there is the highly competitive internal league.
Then South Africa proposed the concept of a 'cooler' to the International Rugby Board in 1972 but the idea was rejected. They proposed it again in 1975 and again it was rejected. But in 1979 South Africa was given dispensation to use and report on the introduction of 'the cooler'. It was allowed in domestic competition in South Africa but did not apply to matches involving teams from abroad. (Two years later rugby league in New South Wales adopted the use of the sin bin.)
The 'cooler' was not intended for repeated infringement or what has come to be called professional/cynical infringement. It was intended to do what the name suggests - cool down a player who was getting heated under the collar. It was originally set to five minutes' duration.
Eventually the sin bin or temporary suspension was introduced into the game. It was used under dispensation in the Southern Hemisphere and then on 29 January 2000 it was included in the experimental law variations that followed the 1999 Rugby World Cup (set to 10 minutes). The sin bin was then used in the Six Nations that year for the first time.
A red card is a sending off as it is in Association football.
It has been possible to send a play off since 1888 when it was written down that a player should be sent off for foul play, however, the showing of a red card is a relatively recent addition. There has also been instructions to deal with deliberate infringement i.e. 1911: Referees must deal very sharply with all cases of this nature, as this has been a growing practice through players deciding to take the risk of a penalty to gain or save a try by unfair play. This practice is so contrary to the spirit of the game, that the Board have decided to deal with it upon the same footing as rough or foul play or misconduct.
The new law stated:
10.6 YELLOW AND RED CARDS
(a) When a player has been cautioned and temporarily suspended in an
International match the referee will show that player a yellow card.
(b) When a player has been sent off in an International match, the referee
will show that player a red card.
(c) For other matches the Match Organiser or Union having jurisdiction over
the match may decide upon the use of yellow and red cards.
The first yellow card shown in an international was during the All blacks 1995 tour of France when Irish referee Gordon Black showed it to the All blacks lock Mark Cooksley after he'd punched an opponent in a midweek match at Nancy. The ref later found out that it had yet to be introduced officially but it was shortly afterwards.
The first 'official' recipient of a yellow card in a Test match was Ben Clarke, playing for England against Ireland at Lansdowne Road. He stamped on his Bath club mate Simon Geoghegan in the 63rd minute and was shown a yellow card, but played on. Playing on after a yellow card remained law till after the 1999 Rugby World Cup. Then temporary suspension of ten minutes was introduced, signalled by the brandishing of a yellow card.
The first yellow card shown at a world cup was to Argentina's Roberto Grau (ARG) by referee Paddy O'Brien in the 15th minute of the match against Wales in Cardiff at RWC 1999, whereas, Italian Alessandro Moscardi holds the record for most yellow cards at a world cup. At RWC 1999, Moscardi was sent to the sin bin in matches against England, Tonga and New Zealand.
The first player sent off in a world cup match was Wales' Hugh Richards - by referee Kerry Fitzgerald in the 71st minute of the semi-final against New Zealand in Brisbane at RWC 1987.
Incidentally, the French at one stage had a white card as well. Yellow and red were for varying degrees of foul play, the white card for law infractions. The white card has subsequently disappeared.
Replacements/substitutions
The Replacement of injured players was added to the 1968-69 Laws (law 12: up to two players per team).
Mike Gibson replaced Barry John in the Lion’s first test against South Africa in 1968 was the first official replacement in a test match (although replacements happened unofficially in New Zealand, South Africa and Australia before that.
Tactical substitutions were introduced in 1996 (three replacements).
Modern Laws (provided by the IRB)
Note: For the latest laws, amendments and regulations visit the World Rugby website , there is a wealth of information there, well worth a visit.
Laws:
2007
Evolution of modern laws
"The History of the Laws of Rugby Football" pub 1949 contains 241 pages of changes to the laws that have occurred over the years. "The History of the Laws of Rugby Football 1949 - 1972 contains a further 83 pages.
As you can see although the basic principles remain the same today, extensive attempts have been made over decades to refine the laws, remove ambiguity and improve the enjoyment and safety of the game.
An interesting chapter in the development of the laws was the creation of "The Laws in Plain English" read the full story here .
2012 Law Amendment Trials
The following Law amendments have been approved for global trial by the IRB Council. The implementation dates are the start of the Northern Hemisphere season at or around September 1st 2012 and the start of the Southern Hemisphere season at or around January 1st 2013. It is not intended that the a Union should implement the trial Law amendments mid season or mid competition. Unions will be given the opportunity to provide both quantitative and qualitative feedback on the trials.
2004 - 2009 Experimental Law Variations (ELVs)
August, 2009
The ELV Conference in March 2009 expressed a concern that the maul can be observed to be, and actually can be, a form of ‘legalised obstruction’. This is evidenced by players at the back of an elongated maul holding the ball whilst the maul moves forward (‘truck and trailer’).
An IRB working group concluded:
1. The maul must be formed so that the opposition can contest the maul at the formation; this includes the formation of the maul at a lineout and from a maul formed after kick-offs or restart kicks. (Match Officials were instructed to apply this from May 2009 - a DVD was circulated to all match elite match officials and Referee Managers.) Mauls from open play should be refereed in the same way as mauls formed at lineouts or from restart kicks.
2. A player may have both hands on the ball and be bound into the maul by other players involved in the maul.
3. If a player takes the ball in a formed maul and detaches whilst the players in the maul continue going forward, they are obstructing the opposition if that player continues moving forward using the players in front as a shield.
4. If the ball carrying team in the maul is moved backwards at or immediately after the formation, Law 17.6 (d) and (e) should apply :
"(d) When a maul has stopped moving forward for more than five seconds, but the ball is being moved and the referee can see it, a reasonable time is allowed for the ball to emerge. If it does not emerge within a reasonable time, a scrum is ordered.
(e) When a maul has stopped moving forward it may start moving forward again providing it does so within 5 seconds. If the maul stops moving forward a second time and if the ball is being moved and the referee can see it, a reasonable time is allowed for the ball to emerge. If it does not emerge within a reasonable time, a scrum is ordered."
If the maul is moved backwards, match officials currently do not apply Law 17.6 (d) at the maul formation. If they did so it would only allow one more movement forward and it may encourage the non-ball-carrying side to commit to the maul at its formation.
Match officials also permit mauls to move sideways and do not apply 17.6 (d) and (e). Strict application may assist.
If the referee says "use it" the ball must be used and restarting the maul is not an option.
5. The concern about ‘truck and trailer’ is not about the ball being one or two players back from the ball carrier when the maul is moving forward, as that replicates a scrum. The concern is about the player ‘hanging’ on the back of the maul. Strict application of the definition of a bind may assist in resolving this issue:
“Binding. Grasping firmly another player’s body between shoulders and the hips with the whole arm in contact from hand to shoulder”.
If the ball carrier player does not bind in this way, the maul is considered to be over and match officials insist the ball is used. If the player rejoins and binds on the players in front, the team should be penalised for obstruction. This may encourage players to bind appropriately.
The official document can be obtained here .
February, 2010 - Charging into a ruck
Players entering a ruck must do so in accordance with the Laws of the Game. Referees are reminded that appropriate binding is a requirement, and charging into a ruck is dangerous play and must be penalised as such. Video examples can be seen here .
16.2 JOINING A RUCK
(b) A player joining a ruck must bind on a team-mate or an opponent, using the whole arm. The bind must either precede, or be simultaneous with, contact with any other part of the body of the player joining the ruck.
Sanction: Penalty kick
10.4 DANGEROUS PLAY AND MISCONDUCT
(g) Dangerous charging. A player must not charge or knock down an opponent carrying the ball without trying to grasp that player.
Sanction: Penalty kick
(h) A player must not charge into a ruck or maul. Charging includes any contact made without use of the arms, or without grasping a player.
February, 2011 - Dangerous Tackles (high tackles)
The specific provisions of Law 10.4(e) in relation to High Tackles are as follows:
A player must not tackle (or try to tackle) an opponent above the line of the shoulders even if the tackle starts below the line of the shoulders. A tackle around the opponent’s neck or head is dangerous play.
A stiff-arm tackle is dangerous play. A player makes a stiff-arm tackle when using a stiff-arm to strike an opponent.
At an IRB Medical Conference held in November 2010 at Lensbury the results of studies related to injuries sustained as a result of tackles were outlined. A study in England concluded that “stricter implementation of the Laws of Rugby relating to collisions and tackles above the line of the shoulder may reduce the number of head/neck injuries”. A separate study in New Zealand concluded that “ball carriers were at highest risk from tackles to the head and neck region”.
The participants at the Medical Conference generally recognised that tackles above the line of the shoulders have the potential to cause serious injury and noted that a trend had emerged whereby players responsible for such tackles were not being suitably sanctioned.
The purpose of this Memorandum is to emphasise that as with tip tackles, they must be dealt with severely by Referees and all those involved in the off-field disciplinary process.
It is recognised of course, as with other types of illegal and/or foul play, depending on the circumstances of the high tackle, the range of sanctions extends from a penalty kick to the player receiving a red card. An illegal high tackle involving a stiff arm or swinging arm to the head of the opponent, with no regard to the player’s safety, bears all the hallmarks of an action which should result in a red card or a yellow card being seriously considered.
Referees and Citing Commissioners should not make their decisions based on what they consider was the intention of the offending player. Their decision should be based on an objective assessment (as per Law 10.4(e)) of the overall circumstances of the tackle.
May 15th, 2012 - IRB and Unions Sanction Global Law Trials (from IRB press release)
The International Rugby Board and its Member Unions have sanctioned a global trial of five aspects of Law amendments following an extensive process of consultation and evaluation.
The trial, approved by the IRB Council at its Annual Meeting in Dublin on Tuesday, will commence at the start of the next season in each hemisphere (August 2012 in the north and January 2013 in the south) and will be applicable to both international and domestic competition.
Aspects of Law approved for trial include limiting the time that the ball is available at the back of a ruck and the positioning of taking a quick throw-in. In addition to the suite of five Laws approved for global trial, three additional trials will operate during 2012.
A trial extension of the jurisdiction of the Television Match Official will be introduced later this year, while the number of nominated replacements in Test Rugby will be increased to eight for a trial in the November window.
The global trial has been sanctioned after an unprecedented evaluation process that kicked off with submissions and recommendations for 20 potential amendments from Member Unions and has culminated with recent trials of amendments to seven aspects of Law as a package at dedicated playing environments in Cambridge and Stellenbosch.
This evaluation process is in line with the remit of the Laws Amendment Process approved by the IRB Council in December 2009.
Unlike previous amendment processes, the process of selection, monitoring and evaluation has been steered by an independent Laws Representative Group, comprising technical representatives from each of the 10 Tier 1 Unions covering elite and community Rugby and representatives of the IRB Rugby Committee.
Extensive evaluation of the Cambridge and Stellenbosch University trials undertaken earlier this year determined that each of the seven amendments could have a positive effect on the Game or clarify existing areas of Law and therefore a recommendation was made to the IRB Council via the IRB Rugby Committee to approve a global trial of all seven amendments.
The five Law amendments to be trialled globally are:
1. Law 16.7 (Ruck): The ball has to be used within five seconds of it being made available at the back of a ruck following a warning from the referee to “use it”. Sanction – Scrum.
2. 19.2 (b) (Quick Throw-In) For a quick throw in, the player may be anywhere outside the field of play between the line of touch and the player’s goal line.
3. 19.4 (who throws in) When the ball goes into touch from a knock-on, the non-offending team will be offered the choice of a lineout at the point the ball crossed the touch line; or a scrum at the place of the knock-on. The non-offending team may exercise this option by taking a quick throw-in.
4. 21.4 Penalty and free kick options and requirements: Lineout alternative. A team awarded a penalty or a free kick at a lineout may choose a further lineout, they throw in. This is in addition to the scrum option.
5. A conversion kick must be completed within one minute 30 seconds from the time that a try has been awarded.
In addition to the global trials, the IRB Council approved three specific additional trials:
1. A trial to extend the jurisdiction of the TMO to incidents within the field of play that have led to the scoring of a try and foul play in the field of play to take place at an appropriate elite competition in order that a protocol can be developed for the November 2012 Tests.
2. A trial has been sanctioned for the November 2012 Test window permitting international teams to nominate up to eight replacements in the match day squad for Test matches. In line with current practice at domestic elite Rugby level, the additional player must be a qualified front row player.
3. An amendment to Law 3.4 (Sevens Variation) to enable Sevens teams to nominate up to five replacements/substitutes. Under the revision, which will operate from June 1 2012, a team may substitute or replace up to five players during a match. Approval has been granted on player welfare grounds to recognise the additional demands on players and squads owing to the expansion of the HSBC Sevens World Series where there are three blocks of three events on consecutive weekends.
Council also approved the referral by the Laws Representative Group of one potential Law amendment that was successfully trialled at Cambridge and Stellenbosch for further consideration by the specialist Scrum Steering Group (overseeing scrum force project) to be considered alongside the ongoing review of the scrum.
The amendment that will be considered by the Group relates to the engagement sequence and will see the referee call “crouch” then “touch”. The front rows crouch then touch and using outside arm each prop touches the point of the opposing prop’s outside shoulder. The props then withdraw their arms. The referee will then call “set” when the front rows are ready. The front rows may then set the scrum.
“We have a collective responsibility to ensure that the Game is as enjoyable to play, officiate and watch as possible at every level while player welfare is of paramount importance,” said IRB Chairman Bernard Lapasset.
“Rugby is currently in good health with participation growing around the world, but there is collective responsibility to ensure that a structured process can be implemented to allow for global analysis and to monitor trends relating to the shape and character of the Game as it evolves.”
“The approval of five aspects of Law for global trial is the culmination of the Laws Amendment Process which was agreed by the IRB Council in 2009. The journey to this point has been exhaustive and collaborative and has involved full stakeholder consultation and I would like to thank Member Unions for their buy-in and commitment to the process from the outset.”
“The Laws Representative Group were encouraged by the outcomes of the initial trials in Cambridge and Stellenbosch. The next step is a global trial with full buy-in and which has been approved by Council on the basis that the amendments can have a positive effect on the playing of the Game.”
“The global trials are not fait accompli. It is essential at the end of the global trial process that decisions made are in the best interest of Rugby worldwide,” added Lapasset.
Editors notes:
Laws Representative Group (LRG): David Nucifora (ARU), Rob Andrew (RFU), Franco Ascione (FIR), Joel Dumé (FFR), Owen Doyle (IRFU), Rod Hill (NZRU), Stephen Gemmell (SRU), André Watson (SARU), Francisco Rubio (UAR), Joe Lydon (WRU), Paddy O'Brien and Graham Mourie (IRB Rugby Committee).
IRB Laws Amendment Process (approved December 2009):
Laws Laboratories commenced in early 2012 (Stellenbosch and Cambridge)
LRG considered outcomes – statistical, player/coach feedback and match to criteria
Council reviewed the recommendations and approve global trials if applicable
Global trials – August 2012 NH – January 2013 SH if applicable
LRG review and recommendations to the Rugby Committee
Recommendations to Council Annual Meeting 2014
Implementation immediate if accepted
Definition of Terms
May 5th, 2015
The quadrennial laws review process kicked off with technical experts beginning the process of critiquing the game’s law book following commentary and feedback submitted by unions.
Every four years, the governing body runs a health-check on the laws of the game with a view to ensuring the enhancement of player welfare, the maximisation of enjoyment for players and fans, while making sure the sport can continue to develop at all levels around the world.
During two days of productive analysis and discussion in London, the expert Law Representation Group critiqued feedback in order to make recommendations for the Rugby Committee to consider at its next meeting in September. Truly representative, the LRG is made up of coaches, players, referees, medics and union delegates.
Considerations included reinforcing of the application of existing law, edits or re-writes of law and the introduction of new laws deemed appropriate for local trial. The process could culminate in law amendments within the next Rugby World Cup cycle but no changes can be made prior to RWC 2015 in England.
The scrum and breakdown was a particular area of focus with the group agreeing:
Scrum: With the crouch-bind-set engagement sequence proving successful in reducing scrum injuries, the LRG has recommended that the specialist scrum steering group reconvenes to consider strategies to improve scrum duration and completion rates
Breakdown: the LRG will further consider proposals regarding the tackle, ruck and maul with a view to maintaining a fair contest for possession while also enhancing player welfare
LRG and Rugby Committee Chairman John Jeffrey said: “World Rugby is committed to continual review and assessment of the laws of the game to ensure that the game is enjoyable to watch and play and is as safe to play as possible at all levels, from the elite, professional tier right down to community and youth rugby.
“This important process occurs after every Rugby World Cup and is an opportunity to take stock, review the laws, drawing on expert input and make changes where needed with those who play and support the game and ongoing prosperity of the sport in mind.
“It was great to see our unions and associations making such a strong contribution, while the level of expertise and discussion from our expert group when considering the submissions was very impressive. We have lots to consider and some interesting proposals to develop.”
New Zealand representative and All Blacks head coach Steve Hansen added: “We all have a responsibility to ensure that rugby is as simple, enjoyable and safe to play as possible. It was a fascinating review and I look forward to ongoing involvement in this important process.”
The previous cycle saw the revision of the scrum engagement sequence on player welfare grounds following extensive evaluation and trials. The crouch-bind-set sequence has reduced forces on engagement by up to 40 per cent at the elite level.
World Rugby confirms closed law trial programme
September 10th 2015
Exciting law trials will take place in national competitions during 2015-16 season with the successful ones taken forward to global trial from 2017.
With the promotion of player welfare, law simplification and spectator experience at the core, World Rugby has confirmed details of a package of law trials that will be trialled domestically within the current quadrennial law review process.
Every four years, rugby’s governing body undertakes a complete health-check of the game’s playing trends across the Rugby World Cup cycle to ensure that the sport continues to develop at all levels around the world. This extensive process is undertaken with full union consultation.
The approval of the package of law trials by the World Rugby Executive Committee, follows detailed analysis and evaluation of union submissions by the specialist Law Review Group (LRG), Scrum Steering Group (SSG) and the Multi-Disciplinary Injury Prevention Group (MDIPG) over the past five months and is the third of a seven-phase process of law change.
The full package of law trials can be viewed here .
In previous cycles, closed trials were operated by World Rugby at Cambridge and Stellenbosch but a desire to deliver extensive, meaningful, elite-level analysis and feedback, meant that unions were asked to nominate competitions for the trials. All trials will be filmed and independently analysed in preparation for World Rugby Council to consider which trials go forward for global trial in 2017.
World Rugby’s Pacific Challenge, U20 Trophy, Tbilisi Cup and Nations Cup in 2016 will trial the full package of law amendments, while the first trials are underway with the Principality Cup in Wales and the National Rugby Championship in Australia. A full inventory of competitions will be released in due course.
Player, coach, fan, match official and media feedback will be sought as part of a comprehensive evaluation of the closed trials by the LRG in mid-2016 with recommendations made to the World Rugby Council in November 2016 as to whether to adopt or not as global trial. Any global trials will commence in January 2017 (south) and August 2017 (north).
LRG and Rugby Committee Chairman John Jeffrey said: “World Rugby is committed to continual review and assessment of the laws of the game to ensure that rugby is enjoyable to watch and play and is as safe to play as possible at all levels, from the elite, professional tier right down to community and youth rugby.
“This important process occurs after every Rugby World Cup and is an opportunity to take stock, review the laws, drawing on expert input and make changes where needed with those who play and support the game and ongoing prosperity of the sport in mind.
“It is great to see our unions and associations making such a strong contribution to this process, while the level of expertise and discussion from our expert group when considering the submissions was very impressive. While this is not a fait accompli, we are excited by the package of trials and look forward to detailed coach, player and fan feedback.”
Meanwhile, the World Rugby EXCO has approved a package of minor law edits, which will operate globally from 1 January, 2016 (south) and 1 August (north). These edits follow submissions by unions as part of the law review process and were recommended to EXCO following detailed evaluation by the Law Review Group and Rugby Committee. These changes will be put in front of Council in October 2015. The LRG is also currently undertaking a wider review of the tackle and ruck area.
Law trials and minor law amendments set for 2016
December 23rd, 2015
1. Early 2015: Call for suggested amendments
2. Mid-2015: LRG reviews suggestions made by unions/regional associations
3. September 2015: Rugby Committee meets to discuss proposals
4. Early 2016: Initial trials are conducted in relevant competitions
5. Mid-2016: Initial trials are reviewed by LRG
6. October 2016: Initial trials are reviewed by Rugby Committee
7. November 2016: Global trials (if appropriate) are approved by World Rugby Council
8. January 2017: Any such global trials start in southern hemisphere and August 2017 in northern hemisphere
9. June 2018: Any global trials are reviewed by LRG
10. October 2018: Recommendations are made to Rugby Committee
11. November 2018: Council confirms law amendments (if appropriate) at a special meeting and the law is changed accordingly
LRG members were nominated by the top 10 unions (Six Nations and SANZAR). Composition includes directors of rugby, coaches, players and referee representatives. Every World Rugby member union and all the regional associations had an opportunity to propose law changes and trials. As part of the review process, all relevant footage is analysed independently against agreed success criteria, for desired and undesired results as well as looking for possible unintended outcomes (positive and negative).
At the original LRG meeting the members agreed that Laws 15-17 (Tackle, Ruck and Maul) needed further consideration. All unions were asked to further consider any potential trials with their Unions. As a result the LRG met again and agreed to trial the following elements of the game, the full list of which can be found HERE .
Law 15 – Tackle
1. The tackler must get up before playing the ball and then may only play the ball from behind his side of the breakdown mid-point. (amend current 15.4 (c). The breakdown mid-point is not the ball but the point where players are in contact.
2. A tackled player must immediately pass the ball or release it. That player must also get up or move away from it at once (existing 15.5 (b)).
3. If tackler and ball carrier only then there is no breakdown or offside line – this is open play and subsequent attacking players maybe be tackled by retreating players.
4. Recognise assist tackler in law
Players in opposition to the ball carrier who remain on their feet who bring the ball carrier to ground so that the player is tackled must clearly release the ball and the ball carrier immediately after the tackled player is put on the ground. Those players may then play the ball providing they are on their feet and do so from behind the breakdown mid-point (Existing 15.6 (c))
Law 16 – Breakdown
1. A breakdown commences when at least one player from the attacking team is on their feet and over the ball which is on the ground (tackled player, tackler plus one more). At this point the offside line is created (new definition).
2. Only players acting as a half-back can play the ball with their hands (lift the ball out of the breakdown). They must be on their feet and on-side. They must subsequently run, pass or kick (new 16.2 – Joining a breakdown). A half-back is any one player who is not part of the breakdown and behind the hindmost foot who is in a position to play the ball emerging from the breakdown. The hindmost foot will be the offside line for half-back players.
3. Offside line at a ruck is the back foot plus one metre. If the back foot of the hindmost player is on or behind the goal line, the offside line for the defending team is the goal line. To be policed by assistant referees (new 16.5 (a) – offside at the breakdown).
4. All arriving players must come from an onside position (see 3 above) and can enter their side of the breakdown mid-point (no gate). Players must remain on their feet (new 16.5 (c)).
5. No players at breakdown can have hands on the ground beyond the ball, hold onto or lean on or have knees on players on the ground. Players off their feet sealing the ball will be penalised. Arriving players encouraged to drive over or past the ball (existing 16.4).
6. Players must not handle the ball in a breakdown once the breakdown is formed. Once the breakdown contest is formed the player must release the ball (new 16.4 – other breakdown offences).
7. The breakdown ends when the ball emerges or the ball is picked up (new 16.6 – successful end to a breakdown).
Law 17 – Maul
The group debated trialling a collapsed maul. The consensus was that this would be perceived as dangerous and should not be trialled.
The group agreed to issue a law application (from 1 January) guideline to enforce the following:
The ball can be moved backwards hand-to-hand once the maul has formed. A player is not allowed to move or slide to the back of the maul when he is in possession of the ball. Sanction: Penalty kick.
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Who was the first person pictured on a British postage stamp? | Who was the first person pictured on a British postage stamp? | Reference.com
Who was the first person pictured on a British postage stamp?
A:
Quick Answer
The first British postal stamp featured the image of Queen Victoria, and it was issued in 1840. The stamp was known as the Penny Black because of its cost and color. It is believed to be the first adhesive postal stamp released.
Full Answer
Following in the footsteps of the Penny Black, all postal stamps from 1840 in the United Kingdom featured an image of the sitting monarch at the time of release. In the 1960s, Royal Mail recognized the potential for generating additional revenue by releasing specialty stamps with other images. As of 2014, both stamp varieties are sold in postal offices across the country.
| Queen Victoria |
In 1980, who became the first British solo female artist to have a UK number one album? | Stamp History
Stamp History
History of Stamps
Stamps and Collectors - a little History
The birth of the postage stamp dates back to May 6, 1840, when Britain issued its first stamp, the "Penny Black." But, how did people receive mail before this time, and what led to the idea of using stamps?
Before the Envelope and the Stamp
Primitive message systems have been in place as long as man has been in existence. Until 1840, however, regardless of how primitive or how elaborate, all these systems operated without the benefit of a postage stamp.
In the early days of the postal service, stamps and envelopes did not exist. (For the most part, envelopes were not used because they were considered to be an additional sheet of paper which cost more to send.) When you wanted to send a letter you would fold it up and seal it shut, and the person who received the letter had to pay for the delivery costs. Since rates at that time were very high, many people refused to accept letters. In fact, many people developed secret codes by which they could cheat the postal services. They would place secret marks on the outside of the letter that conveyed their message and all the addressee had to do was read the secret message, refuse to accept the letter, and thus not have to pay for it. Mainly for this reason, postal services turned to a means of prepaying postage.
Post Office Reforms and the Stamp!
In 1837 Sir Rowland Hill, the British Postmaster General, introduced the "Post Office Reforms" whereby the mail could go anywhere in the British Isles at the same rate (a penny a half-ounce); the postage was to be paid by the sender -- not the addressee; and payment was receipted by placing a small piece of colored paper on the outside of the letter -- THE STAMP! Of course Hill's proposal was heavily debated for a few years, but after serious discussion the change was enacted and instituted in 1840. Thus on May 6, 1840 (first date of valid use) the first government-printed postage stamps were born.
Sir Rowland Hill himself designed the first stamp which cost one penny and bore the profile of Queen Victoria. Because the stamp was printed in black, the 1-cent stamp soon became known as the "Penny Black" -- the world's most popular stamp. These first stamps were imperforate, meaning that people had to cut apart the sheets of stamps. The first perforated stamps did not appear until 1854 (1857 in the United States, 1854 in Great Britain).
The popularity of this new system of sending mail and collecting the fee in advance spread fast and it didn't take long for other countries to use similar systems. In 1847, the United States Post Office Department printed its first stamps, a 5-cent stamp picturing Benjamin Franklin and a 10-cent stamp picturing George Washington.
Stamp Collectors
With the birth of stamps came the birth of stamp collectors or philatelists as they have become known. Shortly after adhesive postage stamps were introduced by Great Britain in 1840, people began collecting them. In 1841, a women even placed an advertisement in the London Times in which she requested help in collecting stamps so that she could paper a bedroom wall.
The two terms philately and philatelist, which refer to the collection and study of postage stamps, were derived from the Greek word phileo, meaning "I love" and ateleia, meaning "free of charges", in the sense that postage stamps replaced a cash postal charge. As people began to collect these interesting pieces of paper, no one realized how valuable stamps could become.
The advent of special commemorative stamps greatly increased the popularity of the hobby. The first U.S. stamps issued to specifically commemorate (remember and honor) our history were issued in 1893 to celebrate Christopher Columbus' discovery of the New World. A few of those 1893 Columbian stamps are now worth thousands of dollars!
Stamps have undergone many changes since that first stamp in 1840. They have been perforated, coiled, and printed in many different colors. Stamps have been introduced in many types, formats, and designs.
100 Match Factory Place • Bellefonte, PA 16823, USA • 814-933-3803 • Fax: 814-933-6128
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Who was Britain's first million pound footballer? | The day Trevor Francis broke football's £1m mark - Telegraph
Nottingham Forest
The day Trevor Francis broke football's £1m mark
A million-pound fee for a footballer is not much of a story these days. Premier League clubs made 26 such signings in the January transfer window alone.
Marked man: Trevor Francis with his wife, Helen, and Nottingham Forest manager Brian Clough at the City Ground after becoming Britain's most expensive player Photo: PA
By Simon Briggs
7:30AM GMT 09 Feb 2009
But when Trevor Francis became the first British player to break the seven-figure barrier, 30 years ago on Monday, it felt like the sporting equivalent of putting a man on the Moon. Nottingham Forest supplied the payment to Birmingham City.
Their initial outlay of £950,000 spiralled to £1.18 million with the addition of VAT and other sundries, though Brian Clough always claimed that the real figure was £999,999, out of concern for his new signing's state of mind.
He was right to be worried: Francis is still remembered as the man who went for a million, yet never quite lived up to his billing.
Technically, the deal was not a world record. Two Italian strikers – Giuseppe Savoldi and Paolo Rossi – had already cleared the two billion lire mark, which equated to well in excess of £1 million.
But Serie A was not then so well known in Britain as it is today, and the reporters who gathered around the signing ceremony on Feb 9, 1979, had a breathless sense of history in the making.
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Delivering the goods
08 Feb 2009
Clough, typically, put his own spin on events. He turned up in a bright red sports jacket, and with a squash racket in his hand, as if to suggest that his social life was far more important than this minor business formality.
His comments were perfunctory, and not especially complimentary, in true 'Ol' Big 'Ead' fashion. Before Francis's debut, Clough instructed him to "just give the ball to John Robertson – he's a better player than you".
Francis, not surprisingly, felt bemused by his lukewarm welcome. "When I signed for Forest, they said provocatively to the press that they thought I had great potential!" he would recall.
"And they had just paid a million for me. I thought to myself, well, what can they get out of me that no one else has got?"
The question was never fully answered. Francis went some way towards repaying Forest's investment when he broke through Malmo's tenacious defence with a diving header to win the 1979 European Cup final.
But Clough and his assistant Peter Taylor could never quite agree where Francis should play: up front with his back to goal, or breaking forward from the right side of midfield. In the end, the million-pound misfit was shuffled on to Manchester City for another hefty sum.
Francis was not alone in labouring under the weight of his giant price-tag, as the accompanying list should make clear. Those whom the gods wish to destroy, they sell for a record transfer fee.
Take Ian Rush's £3.2 million move to Juventus in 1987, which lasted just over a year, and spawned the deathless quote "It was like living in a foreign country."
Rush was thrown off balance by the warm embraces of the Juventus fans, and the equally intimate attentions of the local defenders. He suffered from acute homesickness, as did Paul Gascoigne at Lazio five years later.
Yet some of these players felt out of place without even leaving the country: just look at Stan Collymore in his time at Liverpool.
The ebbs and flows of football politics are reflected in the way the record has grown – stealthily at first, and then at a crazy gallop.
During the 1980s, a handful of top British players drifted to the Continent, motivated not only by the size of the salaries on offer but by Uefa's post-Heysel ban on British clubs.
Hence the elopements of Rush, David Platt, and Chris Waddle, the latter a former sausage-factory worker who became Marseille's £4.25 million man in 1989.
Two years later, the lifting of the ban spun everything on its head. In 1995, a time when only three foreigners could appear in the European Cup, Manchester United bought Andy Cole for £7 million.
Cole told an interviewer "I never thought Newcastle would sell me, at least not to another English club," but this was missing the point. It was his very Englishness that had inflated his value.
Over the last decade, United have shown that no fee is too high, as long as your big-name signings keep winning you trophies. Both Rio Ferdinand and Wayne Rooney are reckoned to have cost more than £30 million each, when all the bonuses are totted up. And there is no sign of a slowdown just yet.
The fact that United's two purchases from Partizan Belgrade last month (Zoran Tosic and Adem Ljajic)) added up to in excess of £16 million demonstrates how insulated they are from the global economic crisis. If Francis was the man on the Moon, today's players are shooting for the stars.
Million-pound men
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In Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, what was the name of the little people who worked for Willy Wonka and loved to sing? | How footballers wages have changed over the years: in numbers - Telegraph
Premier League
How footballers wages have changed over the years: in numbers
From amateurs playing up and playing the game to multi-millionaire Premier League footballers earning £1m a month, a lot has changed in the financial landscape of the national sport.
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Ground breaking: the late Brian Clough signed the first £1m pound transfer when Nottingham Forest bought Trevor Francis from Birmingham in 1979 Photo: PA
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Put your shirt on it: Carlos tevez earns over £1m a month at Manchester City Photo: PA
8:01AM GMT 18 Jan 2011
The Professional Footballers' Association say that in 1957 a top England player would have earned a total of a year £1,677 in wages, bonuses and international match fees.
In today's money that is the equivalent of about £75,000 - the kind of salary a GP or senior manager would earn but also the amount that many average Premier League players would earn in a week.
Manchester City's Carlos Tevez is reputed to earn more than £250,000 a week - making him the first £1million a month footballer.
In 1956-57 a Manchester United and England player would have earned £744 in wages, £72 in league match bonuses, £45 in league talent money, £60 in European Cup bonuses, £150 in accrued benefit, £80 from Provident Fund credit, £56 in FA Cup bonuses, £50 in FA Cup talent money, £400 from international match fees, and £20 from inter-League match fee. A total of £1,677.
Today's players also earn huge amounts through image rights. In 2009, the defender Sol Campbell said in a High Court writ against Portsmouth that his wages were £30,000 a week with the same amount due in image rights.
Related Articles
18 Jan 2011
THE MAXIMUM WAGE AND FOOTBALL'S MONEY TRAIL
1879: Lancashire club Darwen causes a scandal when it is revealed they had been paying two Scots, Fergie Suter and James Love.
1885: Professionalism is legalised.
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What is the only bird that can swim but not fly? | What is the only bird that can swim but not fly? | Reference.com
What is the only bird that can swim but not fly?
A:
Quick Answer
The penguin is the only bird that can swim but not fly. These aquatic birds possess flipper-like wings and can spend as much as three-quarters of their lives in the sea. Penguins are almost exclusively found in the Southern Hemisphere, ranging from northwestern South America to coastal Antarctica.
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In which year was actor Sean Connery born? | BIRDS
BIRDS
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Birds have wings covered with feathers, which allow most of them to fly. Most birds also have extremely good eyesight and hearing. They reproduce by laying eggs, and many build NESTS to rear their young. Some birds fly on long journeys called MIGRATIONS to breed or find food.
HOW ARE BIRDS’ BODIES DESIGNED FOR FLIGHT?
Birds have evolved many features to make flight possible. The skeleton is strong but light, with a large breastbone to support powerful muscles for flapping wings up and down. The wings themselves are curved on top, flatter beneath—air travels faster over the upper surface, producing lift. The long tail helps with direction and balance; strong legs assist with takeoff.
Birds of prey are powerful fliers and have superb eyesight, allowing them to spot prey on the ground even when they are hundreds of yards up in the air.
HOW DO FEATHERS HELP BIRDS FLY?
Feathers on a bird’s wings provide a lightweight but solid surface to push against the air. As the wing flaps downward, the feathers mesh together, then part to allow air through as it sweeps upward again. As well as allowing it to fly, a bird’s feathers keep it warm and dry.
CAN ALL BIRDS FLY?
Some island birds, such as New Zealand’s kiwis, lost the ability to fly because their islands had few predators. Large flightless birds such as ostriches, emus, and rheas are strong runners. Penguins cannot fly, but are expert at swimming and diving.
WHAT DO BIRDS EAT?
Birds eat a wide range of plant and animal foods. Some feed on specific parts of plants, such as fruit, seeds, or nectar. Others are predators. Hawks, owls, and eagles catch smaller creatures such as rodents. Many sea birds feed on fish. Some shore birds have long beaks to probe the mud for worms.
FOOT SHAPES
Birds’ feet are shaped to help them move in their particular habitat. The jacana’s long toes allow it to walk on floating water plants without sinking. Ostriches’ hooflike toes help with running, and ducks’ webbed feet with swimming. Eagles’ talons are designed to seize prey, while the feet of perching birds, such as pipits, lock around twigs.
BIRD CLASSIFICATION
With around 9,000 species, birds make up the second-largest vertebrate class after fish. They are also the most widespread, occurring from the polar ice caps to the most isolated islands.
Birds are classified into 27 different orders.
The largest order, Passeriformes or perching birds, includes over half of all bird species.
The smallest order has just one species—the ostrich.
NESTS
Nests are safe places where birds lay their eggs and rear their young. Adult birds do not normally sleep in nests, but roost in trees or other sheltered spots. Different bird species build different types of nest. Some are simple, others extremely complex.
WHY DO BIRDS NEST IN TREES?
Many birds nest in trees because eggs laid there will be out of reach of many predators. Some birds nest in other inaccessible places. For example, swallows and martins nest under the eaves of houses, and storks on rooftops. Many sea birds, such as gulls, nest on cliff ledges, while kingfishers dig burrows in riverbanks.
CAN ANY YOUNG BIRDS LOOK AFTER THEMSELVES?
The young of ground-nesting birds, such as ducks and geese, hatch out as fluffy chicks that are soon able to stand and fend for themselves. Most birds, however, hatch out blind, bald, and helpless. Their parents bring them food for several weeks while their feathers sprout and they grow strong enough to leave the nest.
MIGRATION
Many birds fly long distances on yearly migrations to find food, avoid drought or winter chill, or reach sheltered spots to rear their young. In spring, many fly to cooler regions where food is abundant in summer. They return to warmer lands for winter.
HOW DO BIRDS KNOW WHEN TO MIGRATE?
Changing temperatures and daylight are thought to trigger bird migrations. In some species, the young follow their parents and learn the way from them. Others set off alone, guided by instinct. Birds navigate using the position of the Sun, Moon, stars, and physical landmarks. Some can sense Earth’s magnetic field.
DO OTHER ANIMALS MIGRATE?
Many kinds of animals migrate, from mammals, reptiles, and amphibians to crustaceans, fish, and insects. Reindeer move across the Arctic tundra, and wildebeest cross the African plains to find fresh grazing. In the oceans, blue and gray whales swim from polar seas to mate in the tropics.
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Who has appeared in more Alfred Hitchock films than any one else? | Alfred Hitchcock Geek: Alfred Hitchcock's Most Wanted Actresses
Alfred Hitchcock's Most Wanted Actresses
It was probably no surprise to Patricia Hitchcock that she was one of her father's most favored actresses.
Like many good directors, Alfred Hitchcock tended to work with the same people – on screen and off. Among the male actors he preferred, such as Cary Grant and James Stewart (four films each) and Norman Lloyd (three films, several Alfred Hitchcock Presents episodes and associate producer and director credits on the TV show as well), there is one who appeared more frequently than any other: Leo G. Carroll (six films). Many Hitchcock geeks and scholars know that one. But which female actor appears in more Hitchcock films?
That answer is a bit dicier because it can change, depending on how you look at it. If you count TV appearances, his daughter Patricia Hitchcock takes the cake, with three movie credits and 10 roles in Alfred Hitchcock Presents. But let's stick to the movies.
My answer is Clare Greet, who had speaking roles in a total of eight Hitchcock films (Number 13 (1922), The Ring (1927), The Manxman (1929), Murder! (1930), The Man Who Knew Too Much (1934), Sabotage (1936) and Jamaica Inn (1939), plus Lord Camber's Ladies (produced by Hitch, 1932).
Clare Greet helped Hitch out and he never forgot it.
In Number Thirteen, her first film with Hitchcock, Greet had been awarded the starring role. His uncle, John Hitchcock, had invested in the movie and when that money ran out, Greet kicked in more funds. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough. Filming was brought to a halt and both of those individuals lost their investment. Humiliated, Hitch took that lesson to heart and he tried never to lose an investor's money again, earning a reputation for shooting his films on or under schedule and budget and aiming for commercial success – which he usually got. Hitch never forgot Greet's generosity and the belief in his talents that it implied and he repaid the favor by offering her more acting roles in his films than anyone else.
As an extra, Bess Flowers usually played what Sinatra would have a called a “classy broad.”
That said, there's another woman who could also contend for that top spot. “Queen of the Hollywood Extras,” Bess Flowers, appeared in over 700 movies in her career as an uncredited, usually non-speaking, walk-on. She can be spotted in seven Hitchcock films: (Mr. and Mrs. Smith (1941) as nightclub extra, Notorious (1946) as a party guest, Dial M for Murder (1954) as a woman departing the ship, Rear Window (1954) as a guest with a poodle at the songwriter's party, To Catch a Thief (1955) as a guest at the costume ball, The Man Who Knew Too Much (1956) as an attendee at the Royal Albert Hall concert, and Vertigo (1958) as a diner at Ernie's) and one episode of Alfred Hitchcock Presents (“The Legacy” (1956) as a diner at the hotel restaurant).
Finally, we shouldn't forget (though at this point it could be an uphill battle) Hannah Jones, who appeared in six of Hitchcock's early films: Downhill (1927), Champagne (1928), Blackmail (1929), Elstree Calling (1930), Murder! (1930) and Rich and Strange (1931). She missed the number one spot by one film, but in case the name comes up on Jeopardy, there you go.
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Loves Rental Styles is an anagram of which famous actor? | Alfred Hitchcock and His Writers: An Overview
Alfred Hitchcock and His Writers
An Overview
To Alfred Hitchcock the real creative work of making motion pictures was done in the office with the writer. Having participated in this process, Hitchcock was not only entitled to, but relished being praised an auteur. "A lot of people embrace the auteur theory," said Hitchcock. "But it's difficult to know what someone means by it. I suppose they mean that the responsibility for the film rests solely on the shoulders of the director. But very often the director is no better than his script."
From selection of the basic material, to the hiring (and firing) of every writer, to the final revision of the final shooting-script, Hitchcock involved himself in nearly every aspect of developing the screenplays for his films. Although he rarely did any actual "writing", especially on his Hollywood productions, Hitchcock supervised and guided his writers through every draft, insisting on a strict attention to detail, and a preference for telling the story through visual rather than verbal means. While this exasperated some writers, others admitted the director inspired them to do their very best work. Hitchcock often emphasized that he took no screen credit for writing his films, however over time, the contributions of many of his writers have been solely attributed to Hitchcock's creative genius, and he rarely went out of his way to correct this misconception. Notwithstanding his technical brilliance as a director, Hitchcock relied on his writers a great deal.
Legend has it that Robert Riskin - screenwriter of such Frank Capra classics as It Happened One Night, Meet John Doe, and Mr. Deeds Goes to Town - was incensed that all the critics seemed to write about when discussing their movies was "the Capra touch." Riskin supposedly walked into Capra's office one day and dropped a pile of blank pages on his desk and told him to "give the Capra touch to that." While Hitchcock would have met the challenge had one of his writers done the same, all his cinematic tricks would have amounted to very little without the solid stories, sophisticated dialogue, and characterizations provided by his best writers.
Hitchcock's first job in film was as a designer of silent movie titles, which led him to work closely with the studio's writers. It was during this early apprenticeship that Hitchcock learned the fundamentals of writing movie scenarios, and he might have found his calling had his visual flare, technical proficiency, and exposure to the German cinema not made him more ideally suited to becoming a director than a film writer.
At least Michael Balcon, chief of Gainsborough pictures, thought so when he assigned Eliot Stannard to write Hitchcock's directorial debut, The Pleasure Garden. Stannard was a ten-year veteran of the British film industry with more than fifty scripts to his credit when he wrote Hitchcock's first five films for Gainsborough, including the breakthrough thriller, The Lodger. Ivor Montagu described Stannard as a consummate professional, whose method "was to sit down and tap it straight out on the typewriter as he thought of it, without change or erasement." Stannard followed Hitchcock to British International Pictures for two more films where his sure-handed writing freed the director to sharpen the visual skills that quickly set him apart from his contemporaries.
Hitchcock's transition from silent to talking pictures appropriately coincided with the beginning of his long association with screenwriter Charles Bennett. It was Bennett's own stage play Blackmail which Hitchcock adapted for the screen that became England's first "talkie". Four years later, Bennett and Hitchcock would reunite to make movie history.
Beginning with The Man Who Knew Too Much in 1934, Hitchcock and Bennett closely collaborated on a string of innovative thrillers which combined a certain wit, freshness and originality that became trademarks of Hitchcock's style. Bennett's true genius was at story construction, and his scenarios were built on many devices now regarded as "Hitchcockian" - the 'MacGuffin', the double-chase, the charming villain, and the use of exotic locales woven dramatically into the plot. With Bennett, Hitchcock's cinematic vision had come into clear focus, and he also charted the course which the most successful of his screenwriting collaborations would take. Bennett described a typical workday with Hitchcock:
In the morning, I used to get up and pick up Hitch in Cromwell Road, where he lived, at ten o'clock exactly. And he would be sitting on the curb waiting for me, with Joan Harrison, who was our secretary... And then we would go to the studio where we would discuss the script and what I was doing with it ... Then at about one o'clock, everything would stop, and we'd go to lunch, always at the Mayfair Hotel, and have a wonderful lunch. Then come back and at that point, Hitch would usually go to sleep in the office, and I would do a little work, and possibly doze off too slightly. But eventually, at about five o'clock, we would go back to Hitchcock's flat where we would start having nice cocktails for the evening, and talk more and more and more about the script. And I think more work was done on the script in the evening over cocktails, than any other time.
Bennett and Hitchcock would meet each day until they completed a detailed treatment, of about 70 to 100 pages. Not until this treatment was completed would any dialogue be written. In Bennett's case, Hitchcock nearly always brought in other writers for dialogue. With Bennett's scripts for The 39 Steps, Secret Agent, Sabotage, Young and Innocent, and later Foreign Correspondent, Hitchcock reached the zenith of his British period and Hollywood beckoned.
Hitchcock arrived in Hollywood in 1939 and although he worked with a number of distinguished American authors including Robert E. Sherwood and Dorothy Parker, these early efforts were largely stories set in England, or reworkings of his British successes. The director did not establish a truly American voice until his collaboration with playwright Thornton Wilder on Shadow of a Doubt. "This was one of those rare occasions when suspense and melodrama combined well with character," said Hitchcock. An even more fruitful association with Ben Hecht followed.
Hecht had a knack for crackling dialogue and strong characterizations honed from years as a Chicago newspaper reporter. Complemented by Hitchcock's plot twists and means of drawing suspense out of any situation, Hecht turned out two of the director's finest achievements of the 1940s, Spellbound and Notorious. "He was an extraordinary screenwriter and a marvelous man," said Hitchcock of Hecht. "We would discuss a screenplay for hours and then he would say, 'Well, Hitchie, write the dialogue you want and then I'll correct it.' Ben was like a chess player, he could work on four scripts at the same time." The collaboration could not last though, because in addition to being one of the busiest and most expensive screenwriters in Hollywood, Hecht was as notorious a self-promoter as Hitchcock.
Following Hecht, Hitchcock never worked with another writer whose reputation was at par with, or exceeded his own. This is also why Hitchcock's films were frequently adapted from lesser known novels and plays. Hitchcock learned a valuable lesson from his first Hollywood production, Rebecca, which was billed as "David O. Selznick's production of Daphne du Maurier's celebrated novel ... directed by Alfred Hitchcock." Thenceforth, whatever the source material, Hitchcock's name would not be over-shadowed by the original author's.
Following a string of commercial failures at Warner Brothers and his own company Transatlantic Pictures, Hitchcock moved to the Paramount Pictures Corporation where he turned out a series of upbeat comedies skillfully written by John Michael Hayes. The Hitchcock-Hayes collaboration produced four motion pictures in two years - Rear Window, To Catch a Thief, The Trouble with Harry, and The Man Who Knew Too Much - and proved to be one of the most successful director-screenwriter pairings in Hollywood history.
"What I brought to Hitch was character, dialogue, movement, and entertainment," remembered Hayes. "And he supplied the suspense element. You see, if a writer goes to work with Hitchcock, he doesn't need to bring suspense with him, because Hitch has that." Hayes left an indelible mark on the director's canon, just as Charles Bennett did before him. With Hayes, Hitchcock's films attained the pinnacle of style and sophistication, highlighted by crisp dialogue. "It was a wonderful experience," said Hayes. "I learned a lot from Hitch about gourmet food, cigars and wine, in addition to learning about screenwriting. When we worked together there was a certain brightness to his movies, and we should have done more."
Like the comic-thrillers of Hitchcock's British period, the Hayes films shine like a beacon in an otherwise gloomy landscape. But even more than these early masterworks, Hitchcock's films with Hayes were consistent in their wit, originality, and sheer creative excellence. Theirs was a brilliant collaboration that should have continued, but Hayes committed the gravest of sins, challenging Hitchcock over a credit dispute on The Man Who Knew Too Much (1956). Hayes won the battle, but Hitchcock severed the relationship. Following Hayes, Hitchcock never settled on an individual writer with whom he completed more than one consecutive film.
Hitchcock ended the 1950s working with screenwriters Samuel Taylor and Ernest Lehman, each of whom wrote one of the director's masterworks. According to Taylor, who wrote Vertigo, Hitchcock understood the difference between plot and story, observing that while the director's films were often looked down upon because of the genre in which he worked, the characters' stories were of great significance. "He preferred telling an inconsequential yarn," recalled Taylor, "but bringing to it all the artistry he had."
Ernest Lehman set out to write the "Hitchcock picture to end all Hitchcock pictures." The result was the greatest Hitchcock chase film, North by Northwest. "He didn't go around like some imperious film producer-director," recalled Lehman. "He was very quiet, very unassuming, but everybody was afraid of his disapproval, and that's what made them do their best for him. You feared doing something that was below his standards."
As the cost of moviemaking began to skyrocket, Hitchcock chose to move away from writers like Lehman and Taylor who commanded high salaries. Thus he sought out less expensive (and less experienced) writers, and the quality of his films began to decline. Beginning with Joseph Stefano on Psycho, Hitchcock engaged a series of relative newcomers to write his films. This allowed Hitchcock to avoid paying high fees and maintain a comfortable level of control over his writers, but the scripts were often sorely in need of the skills of a Hayes, Taylor, or Lehman. John Michael Hayes observed, "Hitch relied on stars and suspense to sell his pictures, when he should have been concerned with the script more than anything else."
The 1960s were particularly troublesome for Hitchcock and his writers - The Birds screenwriter, Evan Hunter, was dismissed from Marnie when he refused to write the film's rape scene; after completing Marnie, Jay Presson Allen adapted J.M. Barrie's Mary Rose for Hitchcock, but the studio discouraged the director from proceeding with the film; and Brian Moore was so dissatisfied with his script that asked to have his name removed from Torn Curtain. Hitchcock had reached a point in his career where nearly every project he started required multiple writers, and even more projects were abandoned at the script stage. Joseph Stefano observed, "In a strange way, the rest of his movies were an attempt to top Psycho. He never got back to that nice leisurely going from one film to another that he had done before."
In the end, Hitchcock maintained no allegiance with any of his writers. Even Ernest Lehman, who reunited with the director for Family Plot, was replaced by another writer on The Short Night, the last project Hitchcock was preparing before his death in 1980. Perhaps then, the single most important collaborator of Hitchcock's career was his wife Alma Reville. For nearly fifty years when not directly involved in the writing of one of her husband's movies, Alma was always in the wings as Hitchcock's in-house story editor. Many of Hitchcock's writers attested to the fact that the director did not believe in flattery, and agreed that the greatest compliment one could receive from Hitchcock was that "Alma liked the screenplay very much."
Without a doubt, Alfred Hitchcock brought out the very best in his writers. Hitchcock's writers created absorbing storylines, peopled them with interesting characters, and provided them with compelling dialogue. Combined with Hitchcock's direction, they produced a body of work unmatched in the cinema.
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In 1999, in the British Film Industry's list of best British films ever, what was the only film in the top ten to be made in the 1990s? | 69 Must-See British Films
69 Must-See British Films
69 British Films you must see before you die!
Compiling any film related list is never an exact science and no doubt to some we’ve left out some real stonkers! But as always it’s all about opinions and we’d love to hear yours. If you want to tell us your best British drama films email us at [email protected]
Out of the 69 British drama films the top director with four entries is David Lean and if we had been able to include Dr Zhivago as a British film production he would have had five entries. Runners-up with 3 entries a piece are Ken Loach and the legendry Stanley Kubrick, followed by Steve McQueen, Shane Meadows, Neil Jordan, Mike Leigh, Michael Powell, Lynne Ramsay, Danny Boyle, Carol Reed, Anthony Minghella, John Boorman and Andrea Arnold all with two entries respectively.
All 69 British drama films add up to a total of 8148 minutes or 5 days, 15 Hours and 47 minutes of footage, giving an average film length of 118 minutes. The longest being Lawrence of Arabia at a whopping 216 minutes, leaving David Lean’s 86 minute romance a real ‘Brief Encounter’.
69) Red Road (2006) dr. Andrea Arnold 113mins Cert 18
Jackie (Katie Dickie) works as a CCTV operator in Glasgow. Each day she watches over a small part of the world, protecting the people living their lives under her gaze. One day a man appears on her monitor, whom she thought she would never see again, whom she never wanted to see again. Now that she has no choice, she is compelled to confront him.
A deeply heartfelt British film that deservedly garnered Arnold the Prix du Jury prize at Cannes, Red Road is a raw but beautifully observed account of tragedy, grief and atonement.
68) The Flying Scotsman (2006) dr. Douglas Mackinnon 96mins Cert PG
Based on a remarkable true story, THE FLYING SCOTSMAN is an out-and-out inspirational, against-all-odds, crowd pleasing British film, which follows the turbulent life of cyclist Graeme Obree, who broke the World One Hour record on a bike of his own revolutionary design, constructed out of scrap metal...
Determined to have a normal family life once his mother gets out of prison, a Scottish teenager from a tough background sets out to raise the money for a home.
66) Ratcatcher (1999) dr. Lynne Ramsay 94mins Cert 15
Set in Glasgow during the mid 70s, Ratcatcher is seen through the eyes of twelve-year-old James Gillespie (William Eadie), a young boy haunted by a secret. Feeling increasingly distant from his family, his only escape comes with the discovery of a new housing development on the outskirts of town where he has the freedom to lose himself in his own world.
65) Tryannosaur (2011) dr. Paddy Considine 92mins Cert 18
It follows the story of two lonely, damaged people brought together by circumstance. Joseph (Peter Mullan, WAR HORSE, NEDS) is an unemployed widower, drinker, and a man crippled by his own volatile temperament and furious anger. Hannah (Olivia Colman, HOT FUZZ, PEEP SHOW) is a Christian worker at a charity shop, a respectable woman who appears wholesome and happy. When the pair are brought together, Hannah appears as Joseph’s potential saviour, someone who can temper his fury and offer him warmth, kindness and acceptance.As their story develops Hannah’s own secrets are revealed — her relationship with husband James (Eddie Marsan, HAPPY GO LUCKY, SHERLOCK HOLMES) is violent and abusive — and as events spiral out of control, Joseph becomes her source of succour and comfort.
64) Fish Tank (2009) dr. Andrea Arnold 123mins Cert 15
A powerful and contemporary coming of age British film, from the director of Red Road. Fish Tank is the story of Mia (Katie Jarvis), a volatile 15-year-old, who is always in trouble and who has become excluded from school and ostracised by her friends. One hot summer's day her mother (Keirston Wareing) brings home a mysterious stranger called Connor (Michael Fassbender) who promises to change everything and bring love into all their lives. Touching on the themes of her Academy Award® winning short Wasp, Fish Tank is an original and unsettling tale for our age.
63) Excalibur (1981) dr. John Boorman 140mins Cert 15
The legend of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table receives its most impressive screen treatment in Excalibur, from visionary movie maker John Boorman. All the elements of Sir Thomas Malory's classic Le Morte D'Arthur are here: Arthur removing the sword Excalibur from the stone; the Round Table's noble birth and tragic decline; the heroic attempts to recover the Holy Grail; and the shifting balance of power between wily wizard Merlin and evil sorceress Morgana. With Patrick Stewart, Gabriel Byrne and Liam Neeson in notable early screen roles, Excalibur serves up, as The New Yorker's Pauline Kael wrote, "one lush, enraptured scene after another".
62) Hope and Glory (1987) dr. John Boorman 113mins Cert 15
Beginning just before the start of the Second World War, the film tells the story of the Rowan family: Bill, his sisters Sue and Dawn, and his parents Grace and Clive, living in a suburb of London. After the war starts, Clive joins the army, leaving Grace alone to watch over the children.
Seen through the eyes of 10-year-old Bill, the "fireworks" provided by the Blitz every night are as exciting as they are terrifying. His family do not see things in quite the same way as the bombs continue to drop, but their will to survive brings them closer together. The nightly raids do not provide the only drama, however, as his older sister, Dawn, falls for a Canadian soldier, becomes pregnant and finding her life turned upside down, soon discovers the value of her family. The family eventually moves to the Thames-side home of Grace's parents when their house burns down (not in an air raid, but in an ordinary fire). This provides an opportunity for Bill to spend more time with his curmudgeonly grandfather.
61) Nil by Mouth (1997) dr. Gary Oldman 128mins Cert 18
In a working class London district lives Raymond, his wife Valerie, her brother Billy, Valerie and Billy's mother Janet, and their grandmother Kath. Billy is a drug addict whom Raymond kicks out. The family is dysfunctional due to Raymond's short temper and violent outbursts. This hard hitting British drama contains 41 uses of the word cunt and 428 uses of the word Fuck.
60) This is England (2006) dr. Shane Meadows 118mins Cert 18
This is England tells the story of Shaun, an 11-year-old kid growing up without a father in the north of England. Set during the summer holidays of 1983, we chart his rights of passage from shaggy haired ruffian grieveing the loss of his father, into a shaven headed thug who's anger and pain are embraced by the local skinhead fraternity and ultimately the National Front. With a shell for a mother and no father to guide him, Shaun seems set for certain destruction.
59) Shallow Grave (1994) dr. Danny Boyle 92mins Cert18
Gory British thriller set in Edinburgh and produced by the team responsible for 'Trainspotting'. Three yuppie flatmates (Kerry Fox, Christopher Eccleston and Ewan McGregor) advertise for a fourth person to join them in their swanky apartment. They end up with a mysterious man (Keith Allen) who promptly dies in his bed of a drug overdose, leaving a million pounds cash in a suitcase under his bed. The greedy threesome then agrees to dispose of the body and keep the loot. However, this means cutting off the hands and feet of the body, smashing the teeth, and finally burying it in the woods. They also ignore the rightful owners of the money, remaining unaware that those owners are, along with the police, hot on their trail.
Hunger stars Michael Fassbender as Bobby Sands, the Irish Republican activist who led the 1981 prison hunger strike and participated in the "dirty" strike in which Republican prisoners tried to win political status...
57) My Name is Joe (1998) dr. Ken Loach 105mins Cert 15
Another hard-hitting British drama from Ken Loach. Recovering alcoholic Joe Kavanagh (Peter Mullan) is out of work, but spends his time coaching the local football team. When he goes to pick up team member Liam (David McKay), he meets social worker Sarah Downie (Louise Goodall). Although they clash at first, the pair are soon involved in a relationship. Joe learns from Sarah that Liam and his wife, Sabine (Annemarie Kennedy), owe money to local gangster McGowan (David Hayman). In an attempt to help Liam pay off his debt, Joe agrees to do three drugs runs for McGowan. However, his relationship with Sarah suffers when she finds out what he has done.
56) The Magdalene Sisters (2002) dr. Peter Mullan 119mins Cert 15
The triumphant story of three extraordinary women whose courage to defy a century of injustice would inspire a nation. While women’s liberation sweeps the globe, in 1960s Ireland four “fallen” women are stripped of their liberty and dignity and condemned to indefinite servitude in the Magdalene Laundries, where they’ll work to atone for their “sins.”
A chronicle of John Lennon's first years, focused mainly in his adolescence and his relationship with his stern aunt Mimi, who raised him, and his absentee mother Julia, who re-entered his life at a crucial moment in his young life.
54) A Field in England (2013) dr. Ben Wheatley 90mins Cert 15
England during the English Civil War. A small group of deserters flee from a raging battle through an overgrown field. They are captured by two men: O'Neil and Cutler. O'Neil (Michael Smiley), an alchemist, forces the group to aid him in his search to find a hidden treasure that he believes is buried in the field. Crossing a vast mushroom circle, which provides their first meal, the group quickly descend into a chaos of arguments, fighting and paranoia, and, as it becomes clear that the treasure might be something other than gold, they slowly become victim to the terrifying energies trapped inside the field.
53) The Crying Game (1992) dr. Neal Jordan 118mins Cert 18
An unlikely kind of friendship develops between Fergus, an Irish Republican Army volunteer, and Jody, a kidnapped British soldier lured into an IRA trap by Jude, another IRA member. When the hostage-taking ends up going horribly wrong, Fergus escapes and heads to London, where he seeks out Jody's lover, a hairdresser named Dil. Fergus adopts the name "Jimmy" and gets a job as a day laborer. He also starts seeing Dil, who knows nothing about Fergus' IRA background. But there are some things about Dil that Fergus doesn't know.
52) Scum (1979) dr. Alan Clarke 98mins Cert 18
Scum is a 1979 British crime drama film directed by Alan Clarke, portraying the brutality of life inside a British borstal. The script was originally made for the BBC's Play for Today strand in 1977, however due to the violence depicted, it was withdrawn from broadcast. Two years later, director Alan Clarke and scriptwriter Roy Minton remade it as a film, first shown on Channel 4 in 1983. By this time the borstal system had been reformed and eventually allowed the original TV version to be aired.
51) Secrets & Lies (1996) dr. Mike Leigh 136mins Cert 15
Leigh's modern British classic captured a brace of Oscar nominations and racked up a considerable number of awards. The story, every bit as believable and real as the rest of Leigh's work, centres on Cynthia Purley (Blethyn ), whose mid-life crisis is exacerbated by the appearance on the scene of the daughter she gave away at birth, the wonderfully named Hortense Cumberbatch (Baptiste) - a young, beautiful, professional black woman who causes a few eyebrows to be raised in the family, and forces Cynthia to come to terms with her past.
50) Pure (2002) dr. Gillies MacKinnon 96mins Cert 18
Social realist British drama set on a West London housing estate directed by Gillies MacKinnon ('Regeneration', 'Hideous Kinky'). Ten-year-old Paul (Harry Eden) is struggling to hold his family together in the wake of his father's sudden death. His mother, Mel (Molly Parker) is a heroin addict, and an opening scene shows Paul preparing the drug for her and handing her the syringe as she apologises for forgetting his birthday. Things get worse still when Mel turns to an old friend, Lenny (David Wenham) for consolation. Lenny is the main drug dealer in the area and has many other demands on his time, including his pregnant girlfriend Louise (Keira Knightley), a crack addict. Mel's behaviour grows increasingly unstable, and when the police start investigating the drugs scene in the local area, Paul realises it's time he took matters into his own hands for himself and his younger brother, Lee (Vinni Hunter).
49) In America (2002) dr. Jim Sheridan 105mins Cert 15
Moving British family drama directed by Jim Sheridan ('My Left Foot', 'In the Name of the Father'). Young Irish actor Johnny Sullivan (Paddy Considine) smuggles his wife Sarah (Samantha Morton) and two young daughters Christy and Ariel (played by sisters Sarah and Emma Bolger) into America via Canada in the hope of jump-starting his career in New York. The couple have another, sadder reason for uprooting the family from their home in Ireland: they are mourning the recent death of their third child, a toddler son. However, despite their hopes of starting anew, New York initially turns out to be a less welcoming place than they had hoped - and the strains of poverty and city living soon start to take their toll on the tender, bereaved family.
48) Shame (2011) dr. Steve McQueen 101mins Cert 18
Brandon is a 30-something man living in New York who is unable to manage his sex life. After his wayward younger sister moves into his apartment, Brandon's world spirals out of control. From director Steve McQueen ("Hunger"), Shame is a compelling and timely examination of the nature of need, how we live our lives and the experiences that shape us.
47) Whistle Down the Wind (1961) dr. Bryan Forbes 99mins Cert U
A man (Alan Bates) on the run for murder hides out at a nearby barn. Through a series of bizarre twists he is discovered by three children (Hayley Mills, Diane Holgate and Alan Barnes), who believe they have stumbled across Jesus and attempt to keep him hidden from the grown-ups. Based on the novel by Hayley Mill's mother, Mary Hayley Bell.
46) The Last King of Scotland (2006) dr. Kevin Macdonald 123mins Cert 15
In an incredible twist of fate, a Scottish doctor (James McAvoy) on a Ugandan medical mission becomes irreversibly entangled with one of the world's most barbaric figures: Idi Amin (Forest Whitaker). Impressed by Dr. Garrigan's brazen attitude in a moment of crisis, the newly self-appointed Ugandan President Amin hand picks him as his personal physician and closest confidante. Though Garrigan is at first flattered and fascinated by his new position, he soon awakens to Amin's savagery - and his own complicity in it. Horror and betrayal ensue as Garrigan tries to right his wrongs and escape Uganda alive.
45) Naked (1993) dr. Mike Leigh 131mins Cert 18
A cynical and pessimistic Manchester drifter, Johnny (David Thewlis), arrives in London, afflicting his ex-girlfriend and her flatmate with an unsolicited visit. When he isn't having rough sex with the roommate or pestering the night watchman at a sterile, modern office complex, he berates his ex for her bourgeois urban tendencies. Leigh's portrait of a deteriorating world at the end of the twentieth century is an intense drama, which packs an even greater punch due to Thewlis's stunning performance as the bitter Johnny.
In the post-war, pre-Beatles London suburbs, a bright schoolgirl is torn between studying for a place at Oxford and the rather more exciting alternative offered to her by a charismatic older man.
43) Control (2007) dr. Anton Corbijn 122mins Cert 15
Control tells the story of Ian Curtis, the lead singer of the influential late Seventies band Joy Division and the music, relationships and events that lead up to his suicide. The members of Joy Divison later regrouped to form New Order.
42) Chariots of Fire (1981) dr. Hugh Hudson 124mins Cert U
Winner of four Academy Awards® (including Best Picture), this internationally acclaimed British film recounts the poignant true story of two British sprinters vying for gold in the 1924 Paris Olympic Games. Harold Abrahams (Ben Cross), a driven athlete of Jewish ancestry, runs to overcome prejudice and to achieve personal fame; his rival, Eric Liddell (Ian Charleson), a devout Scottish missionary, competes for the glory of God. An inspirational story of spirit and strength in the face of enormous odds, the film combines the finest elements of athletic competition and human drama to create a compelling and timeless cinematic classic.
41) Watership Down (1978) dr. Martin Rosen 101mins Cert U
Watership Down is a 1978 British animated adventure drama film written, produced and directed by Martin Rosen and based on the book of the same name by Richard Adams. It was financed by a consortium of British financial institutions. Originally released on 19 October 1978, the film was an immediate success and it became the sixth most popular film of 1979 at the British box office.[1] It was one of the first animated feature films to be presented in Dolby.
40) Black Narcissus (1947) dr. Michael Powell 100mins Cert U
A classic Powell/Pressburger tale of sexual awakening based on the Rumer Godden novel. A group of British nuns are sent into the Himalayas to set up a mission in what was once the harem's quarters of an ancient palace. The clear mountain air, the unfamiliar culture and the unbridled sensuality of a young prince (Sabu) and his beggar-girl lover (Jean Simmons) begin to play havoc with the nuns' long-suppressed emotions. Whilst the young Mother Superior, Sister Clodagh (Deborah Kerr), fights a losing battle for order, the jaunty David Farrar falls in love with her, sparking uncontrollable jealousy in another nun, Sister Ruth (Kathleen Byron).
39) Brazil (1985) dr. Terry Gilliam 132mins Cert 15
In the future, a clerk at the all-powerful Ministry of Information sticks to his ideals and ends up crushed by the system in this half comedy, half horror story from former 'Monty Python' animator Terry Gilliam. Like Orwell's novel '1984', which it echoes, the future is seen from a 1940's perspective. Jonathan Pryce stars, with Robert De Niro making a cameo appearance as an excessively diligent sewage inspector
38) Kes (1969) dr. Ken Loach 110mins Cert PG
British filmmaking showed much of its potential in this marvellous production chronicling the boyhood experiences of Billy, whose expectations lead no further than following his brother into the pit when he reaches manhood. Written off by his teachers and often neglected at home, his future is pre-determined.
He finds and trains a young kestrel. Through his care and respect for the bird, we see qualities in Billy that the world cannot allow to be recognised.
37) Great Expectations (1946) dr. David Lean 118mins Cert PG
David Lean directs this classic adaptation of Dickens's novel about a young orphan who develops 'great expectations' after a mysterious benefactor pledges to sponsor his transformation into a gentleman. Pip (Anthony Wager) is visiting the graves of his deceased parents when he finds himself confronted by an escaped convict, Magwitch (Finlay Currie). Unfortunately for Pip, Magwitch isn't the only frightening adult he becomes acquainted with. When Miss Havisham (Martita Hunt), an eccentric old woman still dressed for the wedding at which she was abandoned by her groom years ago, seeks a playmate for her charge, Estella (Jean Simmons), it is Pip who is sent for. The boy quickly falls in love with Estella, though his hopes seem forlorn due to the gap in social standing between the two. When an older Pip (John Mills) discovers that he has a benefactor, he feels that Estella may be won, but has he read the situation correctly?
36) The Constant Gardener (2005) dr. Fernando Meirelles 129mins Cert 15
Nominated for four Academy Awards, The Constant Gardener stars Ralph Fiennes and Academy Award winner for Best Supporting Actress Rachel Weisz. In this gripping suspense-thriller, a diplomat on the hunt for his wife's murderer uncovers a treacherous conspiracy that will destroy millions of innocent people - unless he can reveal its sinister roots. From the best-selling spy novel by John le Carre comes this edge-of-your-seat story of murder, deception and revenge that critics are calling " a hair-raising thriller with an unforgettable finale" (Karen Durbin, Elle).
35) Women In Love (1969) Ken Russell 131mins Cert 15
Best friends Rupert Birkin (Alan Bates) and Gerald Crich (Oliver Reed) spend much of their time analysing love, especially when they meet two sisters (Glenda Jackson and Jennie Linden). While Rupert loves then marries one of them, Gerald and Gudrun's relationship is not so straightforward.
34) We Need to Talk About Kevin (2011) dr. Lynne Ramsay 112mins Cert 15
Eva puts her ambitions and career aside to give birth to Kevin. The relationship between mother and son is difficult from the very first years. When Kevin is 15, he does something irrational and unforgivable in the eyes of the entire community. Eva grapples with her own feelings of grief and responsibility. Did she ever love her son? And how much of what Kevin did was her fault?
33) Dead Man's Shoes (2004) dr. Shane Meadows 90mins Cert 18
A blend of horror, the supernatural, comedy and social realism. Richard (Paddy Considine) has always protected his simple-minded younger brother, Anthony (Tony Kebbell), but when Richard leaves his rural Midlands' village to join the army, Anthony is taken in by Sonny (Gary Stretch), a vicious local drug dealer, and his gang of thugs. Anthony becomes the gang's pet and it amuses them to bully him and corrupt his innocence. Seven years later Richard returns for revenge.
32) Billy Elliot (2000) dr. Stephen Daldry 110mins Cert 15
Northern England, 1974. What's a poor boy to do? Billy's mam is dead, his brother beats him up for nicking his Marc Bolan records, his dad's worried about the strike, his granny's lost her marbles, the streets are full of riot police. And Billy wants to be a ballet dancer.
31) If.... (1968) dr. Lindsay Anderson 111mins Cert 15
Allegorical drama from director Lindsay Anderson in which a group of non-conformist students lead a revolt against their oppressive masters at an English private school. Parallels are drawn in the film between the bullying, inflexible and snobbish approach of the schoolmasters to their pupils, led by the rebellious Mick Travis (Malcolm McDowell), and the dysfunction and injustice of the British class system at large.
As Mick and his gang of cohorts indulge in acts of petty disobedience, such as heading into town to try and seduce a local waitress, the school's acts of retribution, led by Rowntree (Robert Swann), become increasingly cruel and malicious. Finally, the students are provoked into open rebellion, the bloody nature of which shocked a number of commentators at the time and led to claims that the film aimed to provoke a violent uprising in society as a whole.
30) Cashback (2006) dr. Sean Ellis 102mins Cert 15
When art student Ben Willis is dumped by his girlfriend Suzy, he develops insomnia. To pass the long hours of the night, he starts working the late night shift at the local supermarket. There he meets a colorful cast of characters, all of whom have their own 'art' in dealing with the boredom of an eight-hour-shift. Ben's art is that he imagines himself stopping time. This way, he can appreciate the artistic beauty of the frozen world and the people inside it - especially Sharon, the quiet checkout girl, who perhaps holds the answer to solving the problem of Ben's insomnia.
29) A Matter of Life and Death (1946) Michael Powell 104mins Cert U
Returning to England from a bombing run in May 1945, flyer Peter Carter's plane is damaged and his parachute ripped to shreds. He has his crew bail out safely, but figures it is curtains for himself. He gets on the radio, and talks to June, a young American woman working for the USAAF, and they are quite moved by each other's voices. Then he jumps, preferring this to burning up with his plane.
He wakes up in the surf. It was his time to die, but there was a mixup in heaven. They couldn't find him in all that fog. By the time his "Conductor" catches up with him 20 hours later, Peter and June have met and fallen in love. This changes everything, and since it happened through no fault of his own, Peter figures that heaven owes him a second chance. Heaven agrees to a trial to decide his fate. ...A Matter of Life and Death ( USA: Stairway to Heaven )
28) The Kings Speech (2010) dr. Tom Hooper 118mins Cert 12A
After the death of his father King George V (Michael Gambon) and the scandalous abdication of King Edward VIII (Guy Pearce), Bertie (Colin Firth) who has suffered from a debilitating speech impediment all his life, is suddenly crowned King George VI of England. With his country on the brink of war and in desperate need of a leader, his wife, Elizabeth (Helena Bonham Carter), the future Queen Mother, arranges for her husband to see an eccentric speech therapist, Lionel Logue (Geoffrey Rush). After a rough start, the two delve into an unorthodox course of treatment and eventually form an unbreakable bond. With the support of Logue, his family, his government and Winston Churchill (Timothy Spall), the King will overcome his stammer and deliver a radio-address that inspires his people and unites them in battle.
27) Shooting Dogs (2005) Michael Caton-Jones 115mins Cert 15
April 6th 1994: a bloody genocide in central Africa gets underway.
In just one hundred spring days, a million Rwandan Tutsis were massacred by their fellow Hutu countrymen and a small African country was turned into a charnel house. The barbarity was beyond imagination. But not beyond prevention. The UN was there, watching. Watching but not acting.
And at the heart of it all a British priest and his young acolyte were forced to confront the depths of their faith, the limits of their courage and, ultimately, to make a choice. To remain with their people or to run away.
26) Goodbye, Mr Chips (1939) dr. Sam Wood 114mins Cert U
This film was nominated for seven Oscars with Robert Donat, as the shy schoolmaster Charles Edward Chipping, winning Best Actor over Clarke Gable. Chippings is new Latin teacher at Brookfield School in 1870 who leads rather a mundane life until he meets and falls in love with Katherine (screen debutante Greer Garson) on a walking holiday in the Alps. She finally brings him happiness, but tragedy is looming for the beloved Mr Chips.
25) Notes on a Scandal (2006) dr. Richard Eyre 92mins Cert 15
The bitter, cynical and lonely Barbara Covett is a tough and conservative teacher near to retirement that is loathed by her colleagues and students. In the loneliness of her apartment, she spends her spare time writing her journal, taking care of her old cat Portia and missing her special friend Jennifer Dodd.
When Sheba Hart joins the high-school as the new art teacher, Barbara dedicates her attention to the newcomer, writing sharp and unpleasant comments about her behavior and clothes. When Barbara helps Sheba in a difficult situation with two students, the grateful Sheba invites her to have lunch with her family. Sheba introduces her husband and former professor Richard Hart, who is about twenty years older than she; her rebellious teenager daughter Polly; and her son Ben that has Down's Syndrome. Barbara becomes close to Sheba, but when she accidentally discovers that Sheba is having an affair with the fifteen year-old student Steven Connolly.
24) Quadrophenia (1979) dr. Franc Roddam 117mins Cert 15
Director Franc Roddam has brought us an array of young British acting talents who bring back London's nineteen-sixties Mods and Rockers. Set against the soundtrack of The Who's 1973 mighty concept album 'Quadrophenia', Phil Daniels plays working-class Jimmy, the drug-induced Mod, who hates his job and is misunderstood by his parents. But by night, he comes alive, with the all-nighters, his pills and his scooter-riding friends. Always on a high, life can't get any better. Then there's the Brighton scooter run, where both Mods and Rockers converge, ending in the battle of the cults on Brighton Beach. What goes up must come down, and with Jimmy's come-down, his life is turned around, and so begins his downward spiral into paranoia and isolation, and the four-faceted mindset: Quadrophenia. With its extremely realistic language, violent overtones and classic sixties soundtrack, this illness is bound to be contagious. Come along for the ride. ...Quadrophenia
23) The English Patient (1996) dr. Anthony Minghella 162mins Cert15
Anthony Minghella wrote and directed this award-winning adaptation of Michael Ondaatje’s novel about a doomed and tragic romance set against the backdrop of World War II. In a field hospital in Italy, Hana (Juliette Binoche), a nurse from Canada, is caring for a pilot who was horribly burned in a plane wreck; he has no identification and cannot remember his name, so he’s known simply as “the English Patient,” thanks to his accent. When the hospital is forced to evacuate, Hana determines en route that the patient shouldn’t be moved far due to his fragile condition, so the two are left in a monastery to be picked up later. In time, Hana begins to piece together the patient’s story from the shards of his memories.
22) Oliver! (1968) dr. Carol Reed 153mins Cert U
Directed by Carol Reed, Oliver! brought to the big screen a tremendous adaptation of Lionel Bart's hit Broadway musical. A brilliant cast and stunning choreography earned Oliver! Best Picture in the Academy Awards and The Golden Globe Awards and has since then proved itself as one of the best loved family movies of all time.
21) Barry Lyndon (1975) dr. Stanley Kubrick 184mins Cert PG
Stanley Kubrick's lavish period drama based on the Thackeray novel. Redmond Barry (Ryan O'Neal) is an Irish country boy who falls in love with a well-to-do local girl (Gay Hamilton) and is subsequently tricked by her family into leaving town. Disillusioned with love, the brokenhearted youngster then embarks on an adventure which sees him serve in the Seven Years War, earn a living as a professional gambler, and eventually move into the higher ranks of society when he meets and marries the beautiful Lady Lyndon (Marisa Berenson). However, despite the luck which has brought him such riches, it is this final move, the cynical choice to marry for social advancement rather than love, which brings about Barry's downfall
20) Eyes Wide Shut (1999) dr. Stanley Kubrick 159mins Cert 18
'Eyes Wide Shut' is based on Arthur Schnitzler's 1926 novella Dream Story and was Kubrick's last film before tragically dying of a heart attack in his sleep at his St Albans home on March 7th 1999, just five days after showing Warner Bros. his final cut.
The story, set in and around New York City, follows the sexually charged adventures of Dr. Bill Harford, who is shocked when his wife, Alice, reveals that she had contemplated an affair a year earlier. He embarks on a night-long adventure, during which he infiltrates a massive masked orgy of an unnamed secret society.
19) A Man for All Seasons (1966) dr. Fred Zinnemann 120mins Cert U
Oscar-winning adaptation of Robert Bolt's historical play. Sir Thomas More (Paul Scofield) has to wrestle with his conscience when he is appointed High Chancellor to King Henry VIII (Robert Shaw). The King wishes More's support in his decision to divorce his wife, Catherine of Aragon, in favour of Anne Boleyn. When More refuses and resigns from his office, he falls foul of a plot by Thomas Cromwell (Leo McKern) to remove him permanently.
18) The Pianist (2002) dr. Roman Polanski 150mins Cert 15
Award-winning British drama telling the true story of pianist Wladyslaw Szpilman's experiences in Warsaw during the Nazi occupation. When the Jews of the city find themselves forced into a ghetto, Szpilman finds work playing in a café; and when his family is deported in 1942, he stays behind, works for a while as a labourer, and eventually goes into hiding in the ruins of the war-torn city. The film won the Palme d'Or at the Cannes Film Festival and Oscars for Best Actor (Adrien Brody), Best Adapted Screenplay (Ronald Harwood) and Best Director (Roman Polanski).
17) Atonement (2007) dr. Joe Wright 123mins Cert 15
On the hottest day of the summer of 1935, thirteen-year-old Briony Tallis sees her older sister Cecilia (Kiera Knightley) strip off her clothes and plunge into the fountain in the garden of their country house. Watching Cecilia is their housekeeper's son Robbie Turner (James McAvoy), a childhood friend who, along with Briony's sister, has recently graduated from Cambridge.
By the end of that day the lives of all three will have been changed forever. Robbie and Cecilia will have crossed a boundary they had never before dared to approach and will have become victims of the younger girl's scheming imagination, and Briony will have committed a dreadful crime, the guilt for which will colour her entire life.
16) Brief Encounter (1945) dr. David Lean 86mins Cert PG
Based on Noël Coward's play 'Still Life,' Brief Encounter is a romantic, bittersweet British drama about two married people who meet by chance in a London railway station and carry on an intense love affair. Sentimental yet down-to-earth and set in pre-World War II England, the film follows British housewife Laura Jesson (Celia Johnson), who is on her way home, but catches a cinder in her eye. By chance, she meets Dr. Alec Harvey (Trevor Howard), who removes it for her. The two talk for a few minutes and strike immediate sparks, but they end up catching different trains. However, both return to the station once a week to meet and, as the film progresses, they grow closer, sharing stories, hopes, and fears about their lives, marriages, and children. One day, when Alec's train is late, both become frantic that they will miss each other. When they finally find each other, they realize that they are in love. But what should be a joyous realization is fraught with tragedy, since both care greatly for their families. Howard and Johnson give flawless performances as two practical, married people who find themselves in a situation in which they know they can never be happy.
15) Midnight Express (1978) dr. Alan Parker 121mins Cert 18
Oliver Stone scripts and Alan Parker directs this British prison drama, based on a true story. An American student (Brad Davis) is caught smuggling hashish and faces years in a Turkish prison. While his family at home attempt to have him freed, he undergoes hellish experiences in jail.
14) Children of Men (2006) dr. Alfonso Cuaron 109mins Cert 15
No children. No future. No hope. In the year 2027, eighteen years since the last baby was born, disillusioned Theo (Clive Owen) becomes an unlikely champion of the human race when he is asked by his former lover (Julianne Moore) to escort a young pregnant woman out of the country as quickly as possible. In a thrilling race against time, Theo will risk everything to deliver the miracle the whole world has been waiting for. Co-starring Michael Caine, filmmaker Alfonso Cuarón's Children of Men is the powerful film Pete Hammond of Maxim calls "magnificent ... a unique and totally original vision."
13) Cold Mountain (2003) dr. Anthony Minghella 154mins Cert 15
At the dawn of the Civil War, the men of Cold Mountain, North Carolina, rush to join the Confederate army. Ada has vowed to wait for Inman, but as the war drags on and letters go unanswered, she must find the will to survive while desperately struggling to hold onto her family’s farm. Inman’s long journey home takes him through the crumbling confederacy, as he meets people of all walks of life who both aid and hinder his mission.
12) The Bridge on the River Kwai (1957) dr. David Lean 161mins Cert U
When British POWs build a vital railway bridge in enemy-occupied Burma, Allied commandos are assigned to destroy it in David Lean's epic World War II adventure starring William Holden, Alec Guinness, Jack Hawkins and Sessue Hayakawa.
11) The Long Good Friday (1980) dr. John Mackenzie 114mins Cert 18
The Long Good Friday is heralded as one of the best British gangster films of all time, starring Academy Award® nominee Bob Hoskins (Mona Lisa) in his career-making role as London crime boss Harold Shand and Academy Award® winner Helen Mirren (The Queen) as his classy moll Victoria.
Harold is enjoying the height of his power, and he is on the verge of a deal that which would make his current 'arrangements' small fry. But stronger forces than even he can control have moved in and taken over. Climaxing in one long bloody day of terror, an Easter Good Friday, he is to see his empire begin to crack and crumble.
10) The Third Man (1949) dr. Carol Reed 93mins Cert PG
This classic noir mystery, from the team of Carol Reed and Graham Greene, is regarded to be the best filmwork of both of these extreme talents. The Third Man features Joseph Cotten as Holly Martins, a pulp novelist who has come to post-WWII Vienna with the promise of work from his friend, Harry Lime (Orson Welles). When he finds that Lime has just been killed in a questionable car accident, he decides to remain in the city to investigate his friend's mysterious death. The Third Man is a masterpiece of melancholia featuring extraordinary writing, acting, and directing, as well as a classic zither score by Anton Karas.
9) The Killing Fields (1984) dr. Roland Joffé 141mins Cert 15
When the Khmer Rouge captured the Cambodian capital Phnom Penh in 1975, many thought the killing would end. Instead it started a long nightmare in which three million Cambodians would lose their lives in the killing fields... The Killing Fields is an epic true story of friendship and survival produced by David Puttnam (Chariots of Fire) and directed by Roland Joffe (The Mission).
Sam Waterston plays Sydney Schanberg, whose war coverage entraps him and other journalists in Cambodia's turbulent politics. Dr. Haing S. Ngor is Dith Pran, Schanberg's aide and friend who saves them from execution. But Pran is sentenced to work in the labour camps, enduring starvation and torture before attempting an escape to neighbouring Thailand.... In real life Dr Ngor also endured Khmer Rouge atrocities and saw his moving, Oscar-winning portrayal of Pran (one of the film's three Academy Awards) as a way of bringing his nation's tragic ordeal to light.
8) Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (2011) dr. Tomas Alfredson 127mins Cert 15
Set in the 1970s, TINKER, TAILOR, SOLDIER, SPY finds George Smiley (Gary Oldman), a recently retired MI6 agent, doing his best to adjust to a life outside the secret service. However, when a disgraced agent reappears with information concerning a mole at the heart of the Circus, Smiley is drawn back into the murky field of espionage. Tasked with investigating which of his trusted former colleagues has chosen to betray him and their country, Smiley narrows his search to four suspects - all experienced, urbane, successful agents - but past histories, rivalries and friendships make it far from easy to pinpoint the man who is eating away at the heart of the British establishment.
7) Walkabout (1971) dr. Nicolas Roeg 100mins Cert 12
While out on a picnic in the Australian outback with his teenage daughter (Jenny Agutter) and young son (Lucien John), a man goes insane and kills himself. The girl takes her brother into the outback in order that he doesn't see their father's dead body. There they meet a young Aborigine (David Gumpilil) who is on walkabout - a rites of passage ritual whereby he must survive in the wilderness for several weeks. He finds food and water for the siblings, and develops a form of communication with the young boy despite being unable to speak English. The girl, however, rebuffs the mating dance which the Aborigine performs in her honour.
6) The End of the Affair (1999) dr. Neil Jordan 102mins Cert 18
On a rainy night in 1946, novelist Maurice Bendrix (Ralph Fiennes) has a meeting with Henry Miles (Stephen Rea), husband of his ex-mistress Sarah (Julianne Moore), who abruptly ended their affair two years before. Bendrix's obsession with Sarah is rekindled as he succumbs to his own jealousy and arranges to have her followed. As the investigation progresses, Bendrix relives his passionate memories of their affair during The Blitz in London. He discovers her diary and reads her account of the affair. It is as different from his as night is from day. He re-enters her life and confronts once more the consuming love they had for each other and the reason for its annihilation.
5) Trainspotting (1996) dr. Danny Boyle 94mins Cert 18
Danny Boyle’s explosive British film tracks the misadventures of young men in Edinburgh trying to find their way out of joblessness, aimless relationships and drug addiction. Some are successful, while others hopelessly are not. Based on Irvine Walsh’s novel, Trainspotting melds grit with poetry, resulting in a film of harsh truths and stunning grace.
4) The Railway Children (1970) dr. Lionel Jeffries 109mins Cert U
Starring Jenny Agutter as the oldest daughter of an Edwardian family thrown on hard times when their father is wrongly sent to prison. The Railway Children avert a train disaster, save an imperiled steeple chaser and reunite an exiled Russian with his wife, all with equal enterprise. Based on the novel by Edith Nesbit.
3) Gandhi (1982) dr. Richard Attenborough 191mins Cert PG
Richard Attenborough's award-winning epic recounts the life and times of Mahatma Gandhi. In South Africa, a young Indian lawyer is booted off a train for refusing to ride second-class. Upon his return to his native India and fed up with the unjust political system, he joins the Indian Congress Party, which encourages social change through passive resistance. When his "subversive" activities land him in jail, masses of low-skilled workers strike to support his non-violent yet revolutionary position. Back in India, Gandhi renounces the Western way of life and struggles to organize Indian labor against British colonialism. A strike costs many British soldiers their lives, so the crown responds by slaughtering 1,500 Indians. Enraged, the ascetic, spiritual leader continues to preach pacifism until he has lead India out from under the tyranny of British imperialism.
2) Lawrence of Arabia (1962) dr. David Lean 216mins Cert PG
David Lean's lush, Oscar-winning biopic stars Peter O'Toole as T.E. Lawrence, the Oxford-educated British army officer who aided the Arabs in their revolt against the Turks. Teaming up with Sherif Ali (Omar Sharif), Lawrence crosses a desert (considered uncrossable) in order to join two separate Arab tribes together as a single fighting force. Aiming to achieve Arab sovereignty, he wins a series of military victories but always keeps his eye on the larger picture, doing his best to prevent the subjection of the Arabs to British colonial rule. The film won seven Academy Awards including Best Picture and Best Director.
1) A Clockwork Orange (1971) dr. Stanley Kubrick 136mins Cert 18
Stomping, whomping, stealing, singing, tap-dancing, violating, Derby-topped teddy-boy hooligan Alex (Malcolm McDowell) has his own way of having a good time. He has it at the tragic expense of others. Alex's journey from amoral punk to brainwashed proper citizen forms the dynamic arc of Stanley Kubrick's future-shook vision of Anthony Burgess's novel. Unforgettable images, startling musical counterpoints, the fascinating language used by Alex and his pals - Kubrick shapes them into a shattering whole.
| Trainspotting |
According to the title of a 1983 film directed by Brian De Palma, by what name was Antonio Montana better known? | 69 Must-See British Films
69 Must-See British Films
69 British Films you must see before you die!
Compiling any film related list is never an exact science and no doubt to some we’ve left out some real stonkers! But as always it’s all about opinions and we’d love to hear yours. If you want to tell us your best British drama films email us at [email protected]
Out of the 69 British drama films the top director with four entries is David Lean and if we had been able to include Dr Zhivago as a British film production he would have had five entries. Runners-up with 3 entries a piece are Ken Loach and the legendry Stanley Kubrick, followed by Steve McQueen, Shane Meadows, Neil Jordan, Mike Leigh, Michael Powell, Lynne Ramsay, Danny Boyle, Carol Reed, Anthony Minghella, John Boorman and Andrea Arnold all with two entries respectively.
All 69 British drama films add up to a total of 8148 minutes or 5 days, 15 Hours and 47 minutes of footage, giving an average film length of 118 minutes. The longest being Lawrence of Arabia at a whopping 216 minutes, leaving David Lean’s 86 minute romance a real ‘Brief Encounter’.
69) Red Road (2006) dr. Andrea Arnold 113mins Cert 18
Jackie (Katie Dickie) works as a CCTV operator in Glasgow. Each day she watches over a small part of the world, protecting the people living their lives under her gaze. One day a man appears on her monitor, whom she thought she would never see again, whom she never wanted to see again. Now that she has no choice, she is compelled to confront him.
A deeply heartfelt British film that deservedly garnered Arnold the Prix du Jury prize at Cannes, Red Road is a raw but beautifully observed account of tragedy, grief and atonement.
68) The Flying Scotsman (2006) dr. Douglas Mackinnon 96mins Cert PG
Based on a remarkable true story, THE FLYING SCOTSMAN is an out-and-out inspirational, against-all-odds, crowd pleasing British film, which follows the turbulent life of cyclist Graeme Obree, who broke the World One Hour record on a bike of his own revolutionary design, constructed out of scrap metal...
Determined to have a normal family life once his mother gets out of prison, a Scottish teenager from a tough background sets out to raise the money for a home.
66) Ratcatcher (1999) dr. Lynne Ramsay 94mins Cert 15
Set in Glasgow during the mid 70s, Ratcatcher is seen through the eyes of twelve-year-old James Gillespie (William Eadie), a young boy haunted by a secret. Feeling increasingly distant from his family, his only escape comes with the discovery of a new housing development on the outskirts of town where he has the freedom to lose himself in his own world.
65) Tryannosaur (2011) dr. Paddy Considine 92mins Cert 18
It follows the story of two lonely, damaged people brought together by circumstance. Joseph (Peter Mullan, WAR HORSE, NEDS) is an unemployed widower, drinker, and a man crippled by his own volatile temperament and furious anger. Hannah (Olivia Colman, HOT FUZZ, PEEP SHOW) is a Christian worker at a charity shop, a respectable woman who appears wholesome and happy. When the pair are brought together, Hannah appears as Joseph’s potential saviour, someone who can temper his fury and offer him warmth, kindness and acceptance.As their story develops Hannah’s own secrets are revealed — her relationship with husband James (Eddie Marsan, HAPPY GO LUCKY, SHERLOCK HOLMES) is violent and abusive — and as events spiral out of control, Joseph becomes her source of succour and comfort.
64) Fish Tank (2009) dr. Andrea Arnold 123mins Cert 15
A powerful and contemporary coming of age British film, from the director of Red Road. Fish Tank is the story of Mia (Katie Jarvis), a volatile 15-year-old, who is always in trouble and who has become excluded from school and ostracised by her friends. One hot summer's day her mother (Keirston Wareing) brings home a mysterious stranger called Connor (Michael Fassbender) who promises to change everything and bring love into all their lives. Touching on the themes of her Academy Award® winning short Wasp, Fish Tank is an original and unsettling tale for our age.
63) Excalibur (1981) dr. John Boorman 140mins Cert 15
The legend of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table receives its most impressive screen treatment in Excalibur, from visionary movie maker John Boorman. All the elements of Sir Thomas Malory's classic Le Morte D'Arthur are here: Arthur removing the sword Excalibur from the stone; the Round Table's noble birth and tragic decline; the heroic attempts to recover the Holy Grail; and the shifting balance of power between wily wizard Merlin and evil sorceress Morgana. With Patrick Stewart, Gabriel Byrne and Liam Neeson in notable early screen roles, Excalibur serves up, as The New Yorker's Pauline Kael wrote, "one lush, enraptured scene after another".
62) Hope and Glory (1987) dr. John Boorman 113mins Cert 15
Beginning just before the start of the Second World War, the film tells the story of the Rowan family: Bill, his sisters Sue and Dawn, and his parents Grace and Clive, living in a suburb of London. After the war starts, Clive joins the army, leaving Grace alone to watch over the children.
Seen through the eyes of 10-year-old Bill, the "fireworks" provided by the Blitz every night are as exciting as they are terrifying. His family do not see things in quite the same way as the bombs continue to drop, but their will to survive brings them closer together. The nightly raids do not provide the only drama, however, as his older sister, Dawn, falls for a Canadian soldier, becomes pregnant and finding her life turned upside down, soon discovers the value of her family. The family eventually moves to the Thames-side home of Grace's parents when their house burns down (not in an air raid, but in an ordinary fire). This provides an opportunity for Bill to spend more time with his curmudgeonly grandfather.
61) Nil by Mouth (1997) dr. Gary Oldman 128mins Cert 18
In a working class London district lives Raymond, his wife Valerie, her brother Billy, Valerie and Billy's mother Janet, and their grandmother Kath. Billy is a drug addict whom Raymond kicks out. The family is dysfunctional due to Raymond's short temper and violent outbursts. This hard hitting British drama contains 41 uses of the word cunt and 428 uses of the word Fuck.
60) This is England (2006) dr. Shane Meadows 118mins Cert 18
This is England tells the story of Shaun, an 11-year-old kid growing up without a father in the north of England. Set during the summer holidays of 1983, we chart his rights of passage from shaggy haired ruffian grieveing the loss of his father, into a shaven headed thug who's anger and pain are embraced by the local skinhead fraternity and ultimately the National Front. With a shell for a mother and no father to guide him, Shaun seems set for certain destruction.
59) Shallow Grave (1994) dr. Danny Boyle 92mins Cert18
Gory British thriller set in Edinburgh and produced by the team responsible for 'Trainspotting'. Three yuppie flatmates (Kerry Fox, Christopher Eccleston and Ewan McGregor) advertise for a fourth person to join them in their swanky apartment. They end up with a mysterious man (Keith Allen) who promptly dies in his bed of a drug overdose, leaving a million pounds cash in a suitcase under his bed. The greedy threesome then agrees to dispose of the body and keep the loot. However, this means cutting off the hands and feet of the body, smashing the teeth, and finally burying it in the woods. They also ignore the rightful owners of the money, remaining unaware that those owners are, along with the police, hot on their trail.
Hunger stars Michael Fassbender as Bobby Sands, the Irish Republican activist who led the 1981 prison hunger strike and participated in the "dirty" strike in which Republican prisoners tried to win political status...
57) My Name is Joe (1998) dr. Ken Loach 105mins Cert 15
Another hard-hitting British drama from Ken Loach. Recovering alcoholic Joe Kavanagh (Peter Mullan) is out of work, but spends his time coaching the local football team. When he goes to pick up team member Liam (David McKay), he meets social worker Sarah Downie (Louise Goodall). Although they clash at first, the pair are soon involved in a relationship. Joe learns from Sarah that Liam and his wife, Sabine (Annemarie Kennedy), owe money to local gangster McGowan (David Hayman). In an attempt to help Liam pay off his debt, Joe agrees to do three drugs runs for McGowan. However, his relationship with Sarah suffers when she finds out what he has done.
56) The Magdalene Sisters (2002) dr. Peter Mullan 119mins Cert 15
The triumphant story of three extraordinary women whose courage to defy a century of injustice would inspire a nation. While women’s liberation sweeps the globe, in 1960s Ireland four “fallen” women are stripped of their liberty and dignity and condemned to indefinite servitude in the Magdalene Laundries, where they’ll work to atone for their “sins.”
A chronicle of John Lennon's first years, focused mainly in his adolescence and his relationship with his stern aunt Mimi, who raised him, and his absentee mother Julia, who re-entered his life at a crucial moment in his young life.
54) A Field in England (2013) dr. Ben Wheatley 90mins Cert 15
England during the English Civil War. A small group of deserters flee from a raging battle through an overgrown field. They are captured by two men: O'Neil and Cutler. O'Neil (Michael Smiley), an alchemist, forces the group to aid him in his search to find a hidden treasure that he believes is buried in the field. Crossing a vast mushroom circle, which provides their first meal, the group quickly descend into a chaos of arguments, fighting and paranoia, and, as it becomes clear that the treasure might be something other than gold, they slowly become victim to the terrifying energies trapped inside the field.
53) The Crying Game (1992) dr. Neal Jordan 118mins Cert 18
An unlikely kind of friendship develops between Fergus, an Irish Republican Army volunteer, and Jody, a kidnapped British soldier lured into an IRA trap by Jude, another IRA member. When the hostage-taking ends up going horribly wrong, Fergus escapes and heads to London, where he seeks out Jody's lover, a hairdresser named Dil. Fergus adopts the name "Jimmy" and gets a job as a day laborer. He also starts seeing Dil, who knows nothing about Fergus' IRA background. But there are some things about Dil that Fergus doesn't know.
52) Scum (1979) dr. Alan Clarke 98mins Cert 18
Scum is a 1979 British crime drama film directed by Alan Clarke, portraying the brutality of life inside a British borstal. The script was originally made for the BBC's Play for Today strand in 1977, however due to the violence depicted, it was withdrawn from broadcast. Two years later, director Alan Clarke and scriptwriter Roy Minton remade it as a film, first shown on Channel 4 in 1983. By this time the borstal system had been reformed and eventually allowed the original TV version to be aired.
51) Secrets & Lies (1996) dr. Mike Leigh 136mins Cert 15
Leigh's modern British classic captured a brace of Oscar nominations and racked up a considerable number of awards. The story, every bit as believable and real as the rest of Leigh's work, centres on Cynthia Purley (Blethyn ), whose mid-life crisis is exacerbated by the appearance on the scene of the daughter she gave away at birth, the wonderfully named Hortense Cumberbatch (Baptiste) - a young, beautiful, professional black woman who causes a few eyebrows to be raised in the family, and forces Cynthia to come to terms with her past.
50) Pure (2002) dr. Gillies MacKinnon 96mins Cert 18
Social realist British drama set on a West London housing estate directed by Gillies MacKinnon ('Regeneration', 'Hideous Kinky'). Ten-year-old Paul (Harry Eden) is struggling to hold his family together in the wake of his father's sudden death. His mother, Mel (Molly Parker) is a heroin addict, and an opening scene shows Paul preparing the drug for her and handing her the syringe as she apologises for forgetting his birthday. Things get worse still when Mel turns to an old friend, Lenny (David Wenham) for consolation. Lenny is the main drug dealer in the area and has many other demands on his time, including his pregnant girlfriend Louise (Keira Knightley), a crack addict. Mel's behaviour grows increasingly unstable, and when the police start investigating the drugs scene in the local area, Paul realises it's time he took matters into his own hands for himself and his younger brother, Lee (Vinni Hunter).
49) In America (2002) dr. Jim Sheridan 105mins Cert 15
Moving British family drama directed by Jim Sheridan ('My Left Foot', 'In the Name of the Father'). Young Irish actor Johnny Sullivan (Paddy Considine) smuggles his wife Sarah (Samantha Morton) and two young daughters Christy and Ariel (played by sisters Sarah and Emma Bolger) into America via Canada in the hope of jump-starting his career in New York. The couple have another, sadder reason for uprooting the family from their home in Ireland: they are mourning the recent death of their third child, a toddler son. However, despite their hopes of starting anew, New York initially turns out to be a less welcoming place than they had hoped - and the strains of poverty and city living soon start to take their toll on the tender, bereaved family.
48) Shame (2011) dr. Steve McQueen 101mins Cert 18
Brandon is a 30-something man living in New York who is unable to manage his sex life. After his wayward younger sister moves into his apartment, Brandon's world spirals out of control. From director Steve McQueen ("Hunger"), Shame is a compelling and timely examination of the nature of need, how we live our lives and the experiences that shape us.
47) Whistle Down the Wind (1961) dr. Bryan Forbes 99mins Cert U
A man (Alan Bates) on the run for murder hides out at a nearby barn. Through a series of bizarre twists he is discovered by three children (Hayley Mills, Diane Holgate and Alan Barnes), who believe they have stumbled across Jesus and attempt to keep him hidden from the grown-ups. Based on the novel by Hayley Mill's mother, Mary Hayley Bell.
46) The Last King of Scotland (2006) dr. Kevin Macdonald 123mins Cert 15
In an incredible twist of fate, a Scottish doctor (James McAvoy) on a Ugandan medical mission becomes irreversibly entangled with one of the world's most barbaric figures: Idi Amin (Forest Whitaker). Impressed by Dr. Garrigan's brazen attitude in a moment of crisis, the newly self-appointed Ugandan President Amin hand picks him as his personal physician and closest confidante. Though Garrigan is at first flattered and fascinated by his new position, he soon awakens to Amin's savagery - and his own complicity in it. Horror and betrayal ensue as Garrigan tries to right his wrongs and escape Uganda alive.
45) Naked (1993) dr. Mike Leigh 131mins Cert 18
A cynical and pessimistic Manchester drifter, Johnny (David Thewlis), arrives in London, afflicting his ex-girlfriend and her flatmate with an unsolicited visit. When he isn't having rough sex with the roommate or pestering the night watchman at a sterile, modern office complex, he berates his ex for her bourgeois urban tendencies. Leigh's portrait of a deteriorating world at the end of the twentieth century is an intense drama, which packs an even greater punch due to Thewlis's stunning performance as the bitter Johnny.
In the post-war, pre-Beatles London suburbs, a bright schoolgirl is torn between studying for a place at Oxford and the rather more exciting alternative offered to her by a charismatic older man.
43) Control (2007) dr. Anton Corbijn 122mins Cert 15
Control tells the story of Ian Curtis, the lead singer of the influential late Seventies band Joy Division and the music, relationships and events that lead up to his suicide. The members of Joy Divison later regrouped to form New Order.
42) Chariots of Fire (1981) dr. Hugh Hudson 124mins Cert U
Winner of four Academy Awards® (including Best Picture), this internationally acclaimed British film recounts the poignant true story of two British sprinters vying for gold in the 1924 Paris Olympic Games. Harold Abrahams (Ben Cross), a driven athlete of Jewish ancestry, runs to overcome prejudice and to achieve personal fame; his rival, Eric Liddell (Ian Charleson), a devout Scottish missionary, competes for the glory of God. An inspirational story of spirit and strength in the face of enormous odds, the film combines the finest elements of athletic competition and human drama to create a compelling and timeless cinematic classic.
41) Watership Down (1978) dr. Martin Rosen 101mins Cert U
Watership Down is a 1978 British animated adventure drama film written, produced and directed by Martin Rosen and based on the book of the same name by Richard Adams. It was financed by a consortium of British financial institutions. Originally released on 19 October 1978, the film was an immediate success and it became the sixth most popular film of 1979 at the British box office.[1] It was one of the first animated feature films to be presented in Dolby.
40) Black Narcissus (1947) dr. Michael Powell 100mins Cert U
A classic Powell/Pressburger tale of sexual awakening based on the Rumer Godden novel. A group of British nuns are sent into the Himalayas to set up a mission in what was once the harem's quarters of an ancient palace. The clear mountain air, the unfamiliar culture and the unbridled sensuality of a young prince (Sabu) and his beggar-girl lover (Jean Simmons) begin to play havoc with the nuns' long-suppressed emotions. Whilst the young Mother Superior, Sister Clodagh (Deborah Kerr), fights a losing battle for order, the jaunty David Farrar falls in love with her, sparking uncontrollable jealousy in another nun, Sister Ruth (Kathleen Byron).
39) Brazil (1985) dr. Terry Gilliam 132mins Cert 15
In the future, a clerk at the all-powerful Ministry of Information sticks to his ideals and ends up crushed by the system in this half comedy, half horror story from former 'Monty Python' animator Terry Gilliam. Like Orwell's novel '1984', which it echoes, the future is seen from a 1940's perspective. Jonathan Pryce stars, with Robert De Niro making a cameo appearance as an excessively diligent sewage inspector
38) Kes (1969) dr. Ken Loach 110mins Cert PG
British filmmaking showed much of its potential in this marvellous production chronicling the boyhood experiences of Billy, whose expectations lead no further than following his brother into the pit when he reaches manhood. Written off by his teachers and often neglected at home, his future is pre-determined.
He finds and trains a young kestrel. Through his care and respect for the bird, we see qualities in Billy that the world cannot allow to be recognised.
37) Great Expectations (1946) dr. David Lean 118mins Cert PG
David Lean directs this classic adaptation of Dickens's novel about a young orphan who develops 'great expectations' after a mysterious benefactor pledges to sponsor his transformation into a gentleman. Pip (Anthony Wager) is visiting the graves of his deceased parents when he finds himself confronted by an escaped convict, Magwitch (Finlay Currie). Unfortunately for Pip, Magwitch isn't the only frightening adult he becomes acquainted with. When Miss Havisham (Martita Hunt), an eccentric old woman still dressed for the wedding at which she was abandoned by her groom years ago, seeks a playmate for her charge, Estella (Jean Simmons), it is Pip who is sent for. The boy quickly falls in love with Estella, though his hopes seem forlorn due to the gap in social standing between the two. When an older Pip (John Mills) discovers that he has a benefactor, he feels that Estella may be won, but has he read the situation correctly?
36) The Constant Gardener (2005) dr. Fernando Meirelles 129mins Cert 15
Nominated for four Academy Awards, The Constant Gardener stars Ralph Fiennes and Academy Award winner for Best Supporting Actress Rachel Weisz. In this gripping suspense-thriller, a diplomat on the hunt for his wife's murderer uncovers a treacherous conspiracy that will destroy millions of innocent people - unless he can reveal its sinister roots. From the best-selling spy novel by John le Carre comes this edge-of-your-seat story of murder, deception and revenge that critics are calling " a hair-raising thriller with an unforgettable finale" (Karen Durbin, Elle).
35) Women In Love (1969) Ken Russell 131mins Cert 15
Best friends Rupert Birkin (Alan Bates) and Gerald Crich (Oliver Reed) spend much of their time analysing love, especially when they meet two sisters (Glenda Jackson and Jennie Linden). While Rupert loves then marries one of them, Gerald and Gudrun's relationship is not so straightforward.
34) We Need to Talk About Kevin (2011) dr. Lynne Ramsay 112mins Cert 15
Eva puts her ambitions and career aside to give birth to Kevin. The relationship between mother and son is difficult from the very first years. When Kevin is 15, he does something irrational and unforgivable in the eyes of the entire community. Eva grapples with her own feelings of grief and responsibility. Did she ever love her son? And how much of what Kevin did was her fault?
33) Dead Man's Shoes (2004) dr. Shane Meadows 90mins Cert 18
A blend of horror, the supernatural, comedy and social realism. Richard (Paddy Considine) has always protected his simple-minded younger brother, Anthony (Tony Kebbell), but when Richard leaves his rural Midlands' village to join the army, Anthony is taken in by Sonny (Gary Stretch), a vicious local drug dealer, and his gang of thugs. Anthony becomes the gang's pet and it amuses them to bully him and corrupt his innocence. Seven years later Richard returns for revenge.
32) Billy Elliot (2000) dr. Stephen Daldry 110mins Cert 15
Northern England, 1974. What's a poor boy to do? Billy's mam is dead, his brother beats him up for nicking his Marc Bolan records, his dad's worried about the strike, his granny's lost her marbles, the streets are full of riot police. And Billy wants to be a ballet dancer.
31) If.... (1968) dr. Lindsay Anderson 111mins Cert 15
Allegorical drama from director Lindsay Anderson in which a group of non-conformist students lead a revolt against their oppressive masters at an English private school. Parallels are drawn in the film between the bullying, inflexible and snobbish approach of the schoolmasters to their pupils, led by the rebellious Mick Travis (Malcolm McDowell), and the dysfunction and injustice of the British class system at large.
As Mick and his gang of cohorts indulge in acts of petty disobedience, such as heading into town to try and seduce a local waitress, the school's acts of retribution, led by Rowntree (Robert Swann), become increasingly cruel and malicious. Finally, the students are provoked into open rebellion, the bloody nature of which shocked a number of commentators at the time and led to claims that the film aimed to provoke a violent uprising in society as a whole.
30) Cashback (2006) dr. Sean Ellis 102mins Cert 15
When art student Ben Willis is dumped by his girlfriend Suzy, he develops insomnia. To pass the long hours of the night, he starts working the late night shift at the local supermarket. There he meets a colorful cast of characters, all of whom have their own 'art' in dealing with the boredom of an eight-hour-shift. Ben's art is that he imagines himself stopping time. This way, he can appreciate the artistic beauty of the frozen world and the people inside it - especially Sharon, the quiet checkout girl, who perhaps holds the answer to solving the problem of Ben's insomnia.
29) A Matter of Life and Death (1946) Michael Powell 104mins Cert U
Returning to England from a bombing run in May 1945, flyer Peter Carter's plane is damaged and his parachute ripped to shreds. He has his crew bail out safely, but figures it is curtains for himself. He gets on the radio, and talks to June, a young American woman working for the USAAF, and they are quite moved by each other's voices. Then he jumps, preferring this to burning up with his plane.
He wakes up in the surf. It was his time to die, but there was a mixup in heaven. They couldn't find him in all that fog. By the time his "Conductor" catches up with him 20 hours later, Peter and June have met and fallen in love. This changes everything, and since it happened through no fault of his own, Peter figures that heaven owes him a second chance. Heaven agrees to a trial to decide his fate. ...A Matter of Life and Death ( USA: Stairway to Heaven )
28) The Kings Speech (2010) dr. Tom Hooper 118mins Cert 12A
After the death of his father King George V (Michael Gambon) and the scandalous abdication of King Edward VIII (Guy Pearce), Bertie (Colin Firth) who has suffered from a debilitating speech impediment all his life, is suddenly crowned King George VI of England. With his country on the brink of war and in desperate need of a leader, his wife, Elizabeth (Helena Bonham Carter), the future Queen Mother, arranges for her husband to see an eccentric speech therapist, Lionel Logue (Geoffrey Rush). After a rough start, the two delve into an unorthodox course of treatment and eventually form an unbreakable bond. With the support of Logue, his family, his government and Winston Churchill (Timothy Spall), the King will overcome his stammer and deliver a radio-address that inspires his people and unites them in battle.
27) Shooting Dogs (2005) Michael Caton-Jones 115mins Cert 15
April 6th 1994: a bloody genocide in central Africa gets underway.
In just one hundred spring days, a million Rwandan Tutsis were massacred by their fellow Hutu countrymen and a small African country was turned into a charnel house. The barbarity was beyond imagination. But not beyond prevention. The UN was there, watching. Watching but not acting.
And at the heart of it all a British priest and his young acolyte were forced to confront the depths of their faith, the limits of their courage and, ultimately, to make a choice. To remain with their people or to run away.
26) Goodbye, Mr Chips (1939) dr. Sam Wood 114mins Cert U
This film was nominated for seven Oscars with Robert Donat, as the shy schoolmaster Charles Edward Chipping, winning Best Actor over Clarke Gable. Chippings is new Latin teacher at Brookfield School in 1870 who leads rather a mundane life until he meets and falls in love with Katherine (screen debutante Greer Garson) on a walking holiday in the Alps. She finally brings him happiness, but tragedy is looming for the beloved Mr Chips.
25) Notes on a Scandal (2006) dr. Richard Eyre 92mins Cert 15
The bitter, cynical and lonely Barbara Covett is a tough and conservative teacher near to retirement that is loathed by her colleagues and students. In the loneliness of her apartment, she spends her spare time writing her journal, taking care of her old cat Portia and missing her special friend Jennifer Dodd.
When Sheba Hart joins the high-school as the new art teacher, Barbara dedicates her attention to the newcomer, writing sharp and unpleasant comments about her behavior and clothes. When Barbara helps Sheba in a difficult situation with two students, the grateful Sheba invites her to have lunch with her family. Sheba introduces her husband and former professor Richard Hart, who is about twenty years older than she; her rebellious teenager daughter Polly; and her son Ben that has Down's Syndrome. Barbara becomes close to Sheba, but when she accidentally discovers that Sheba is having an affair with the fifteen year-old student Steven Connolly.
24) Quadrophenia (1979) dr. Franc Roddam 117mins Cert 15
Director Franc Roddam has brought us an array of young British acting talents who bring back London's nineteen-sixties Mods and Rockers. Set against the soundtrack of The Who's 1973 mighty concept album 'Quadrophenia', Phil Daniels plays working-class Jimmy, the drug-induced Mod, who hates his job and is misunderstood by his parents. But by night, he comes alive, with the all-nighters, his pills and his scooter-riding friends. Always on a high, life can't get any better. Then there's the Brighton scooter run, where both Mods and Rockers converge, ending in the battle of the cults on Brighton Beach. What goes up must come down, and with Jimmy's come-down, his life is turned around, and so begins his downward spiral into paranoia and isolation, and the four-faceted mindset: Quadrophenia. With its extremely realistic language, violent overtones and classic sixties soundtrack, this illness is bound to be contagious. Come along for the ride. ...Quadrophenia
23) The English Patient (1996) dr. Anthony Minghella 162mins Cert15
Anthony Minghella wrote and directed this award-winning adaptation of Michael Ondaatje’s novel about a doomed and tragic romance set against the backdrop of World War II. In a field hospital in Italy, Hana (Juliette Binoche), a nurse from Canada, is caring for a pilot who was horribly burned in a plane wreck; he has no identification and cannot remember his name, so he’s known simply as “the English Patient,” thanks to his accent. When the hospital is forced to evacuate, Hana determines en route that the patient shouldn’t be moved far due to his fragile condition, so the two are left in a monastery to be picked up later. In time, Hana begins to piece together the patient’s story from the shards of his memories.
22) Oliver! (1968) dr. Carol Reed 153mins Cert U
Directed by Carol Reed, Oliver! brought to the big screen a tremendous adaptation of Lionel Bart's hit Broadway musical. A brilliant cast and stunning choreography earned Oliver! Best Picture in the Academy Awards and The Golden Globe Awards and has since then proved itself as one of the best loved family movies of all time.
21) Barry Lyndon (1975) dr. Stanley Kubrick 184mins Cert PG
Stanley Kubrick's lavish period drama based on the Thackeray novel. Redmond Barry (Ryan O'Neal) is an Irish country boy who falls in love with a well-to-do local girl (Gay Hamilton) and is subsequently tricked by her family into leaving town. Disillusioned with love, the brokenhearted youngster then embarks on an adventure which sees him serve in the Seven Years War, earn a living as a professional gambler, and eventually move into the higher ranks of society when he meets and marries the beautiful Lady Lyndon (Marisa Berenson). However, despite the luck which has brought him such riches, it is this final move, the cynical choice to marry for social advancement rather than love, which brings about Barry's downfall
20) Eyes Wide Shut (1999) dr. Stanley Kubrick 159mins Cert 18
'Eyes Wide Shut' is based on Arthur Schnitzler's 1926 novella Dream Story and was Kubrick's last film before tragically dying of a heart attack in his sleep at his St Albans home on March 7th 1999, just five days after showing Warner Bros. his final cut.
The story, set in and around New York City, follows the sexually charged adventures of Dr. Bill Harford, who is shocked when his wife, Alice, reveals that she had contemplated an affair a year earlier. He embarks on a night-long adventure, during which he infiltrates a massive masked orgy of an unnamed secret society.
19) A Man for All Seasons (1966) dr. Fred Zinnemann 120mins Cert U
Oscar-winning adaptation of Robert Bolt's historical play. Sir Thomas More (Paul Scofield) has to wrestle with his conscience when he is appointed High Chancellor to King Henry VIII (Robert Shaw). The King wishes More's support in his decision to divorce his wife, Catherine of Aragon, in favour of Anne Boleyn. When More refuses and resigns from his office, he falls foul of a plot by Thomas Cromwell (Leo McKern) to remove him permanently.
18) The Pianist (2002) dr. Roman Polanski 150mins Cert 15
Award-winning British drama telling the true story of pianist Wladyslaw Szpilman's experiences in Warsaw during the Nazi occupation. When the Jews of the city find themselves forced into a ghetto, Szpilman finds work playing in a café; and when his family is deported in 1942, he stays behind, works for a while as a labourer, and eventually goes into hiding in the ruins of the war-torn city. The film won the Palme d'Or at the Cannes Film Festival and Oscars for Best Actor (Adrien Brody), Best Adapted Screenplay (Ronald Harwood) and Best Director (Roman Polanski).
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In which city did gangster Al Capone operate? | 1. In which city did gangster Al Capone operate? - Liverpool Echo
1. In which city did gangster Al Capone operate?
2. Who had a number one hit in 1974 called Billy Don't Be A Hero?
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2. Who had a number one hit in 1974 called Billy Don't Be A Hero?
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Who had a number one hit in 1974 called Billy Don't Be A Hero? | Scarface Nation | Immigration in Film
Immigration in Film
Revisiting Scarface (watch)
Scarface is a 1983 film that retells the story of Al Capone: an immigrant to a major US city becomes powerful and wealthy through trade of an illicit substance. (Capone was from Italy and trafficked alcohol from Canada into Chicago; in Scarface, Tony Montana is from Cuba and moves cocaine from Colombia to Miami.)
Ken Tucker describes Al Capone as “A great American myth…” and he believes that Scarface is “more than just a gangster movie.” What is the myth of Al Capone? How might immigrant-status play a role in his character? If the film were remade today, what nationality would be an appropriate one for Al Capone? What city would be the setting? Why?
24 Responses to Scarface Nation
John C Wallace
14 January 2013 at 21:14
Tony Montana is perhaps the most iconic and controversial figures of all American Gangster films. Likewise, Al Capone is unquestionably the most infamous gangster of U.S. History. Capone was born in Brooklyn, New York, the son of two Italian immigrants hoping to succeed in the United States. He dropped out of school at the age of 14 in order to work and earn money for the family. While still living in New York, Capone became involved in organized crime, earning the nickname “Scarface” after suffering facial wounds in a fight. In the 1920s, Capone fled to Chicago to flee a murder charge. He soon rose into power, dominating organized crime in Chicago during America’s prohibition era. Al Capone was famously pursued by federal agents and arrested for tax evasion in 1931.
Capone’s rise from humble beginnings is one of the central reasons he has remained a legend. Immigrants coming to America strive for the same success Capone and Tony Montana achieved—minus the demise they each endured. If the film were remade today, the film would be set in Los Angeles, with the central character of Mexican nationality. Los Angeles is the second largest city in the United States, with a large population of Mexican immigrants—many of who live in poverty. It would be interesting to see a young Mexican immigrant rise to the height of a Tony Montana or Al Capone.
Chelsea Kavanagh
14 January 2013 at 21:24
The myth of Al Capone is that it is one man’s story of a great American success and him really bringing himself together. Ken Tucker says he goes to a hip hop community and many of the people there say that “The Godfather” differentiates itself from “Scarface” because it was more about family, gangs, and violence, but “Scarface” shows one man coming out on top without any of that help. Scarface really shows a man that comes out on top of everyone else. Immigrant status plays a role in his character because of the culture throughout the movie and how DePalma depicts his character. This movie is a twisted way of the American dream and he becomes a well-known person as an immigrant. I believe Italian would still be the appropriate nationality for Al Capone if they did a remake today. I do not think that would change but I believe the city should be overseas or possibly in the West because the world today more politically correct then it was back then. I do not think the same cities or areas is a good setting for the remake and that they would need to go somewhere where trafficking drugs is a huge deal. I think that would be the ideal setting for the remake of this movie because trafficking has become a lot more popular overseas and also out West is close to Mexico where drug trafficking has been common.
Amanda Havens
14 January 2013 at 21:43
Ken Tucker described Al Capone as “A great American myth” in the video. Ken Tucker described Al Capone in this manner because the producers of the film Scarface portrayed Al Capone as an immigrant that brings himself up from nothing and becomes a major powerful and wealthy individual by trading illicit substances. However, the myth that Ken Tucker described in his interview in the video is the portrayal of the gangster lifestyle in Scarface. The producers portrayed Al Capone as a gangster in this film because the producers wanted to heighten the role that Capone had within society. Pacino was quoted saying that he “wanted to heighten the exaggeration of this character”, therefore as Tucker states Scarface is a much more than a gangster movie. The producers also use immigrant-status to exaggerate the character representing Al Capone. Throughout the film, the producers use language to represent this character’s immigrant-status. Pacino was also required to work with people on the set that coached him into keeping an accent throughout the entire film. Today if this film was remade, I feel that the producers would use an actor who’s nationality is Latin American, but possibility from Mexico. The Southwest Border Region between Mexico and the United States is the most significant transportation and transshipment area for drugs destined for drug markets throughout the United States. Therefore, the cities that would be involved with such drug trafficking would be those along the border in Mexico and large cities with in the United States.
Dongsen Wang
14 January 2013 at 22:34
Al Capone is the myth, because he was the most successful, powerful, and influential gangster in America’s history. Different from the things in the movie, Al Capone did not have family, brother, or other people to help him. He succeeded all by himself. Also, it was different at that time period, crime was not that easy like today. Moreover, He is really notorious which is different from “Godfather”. Simply, he just wanted to earn money and be successful, but not help any other immigrants. I think immigrant-status had influenced his character so much. Immigrants are always difficult to live in America at that time. They had nothing to pay for, so they will spent even their lives to be successful, to earn money. They lived in the lowest level of society, what they touched were the most terrible things, different cultures, and gangsters. Scarface was really influenced by Hip Hop culture. However, Al Capone could be forced to do all the things because of his immigrants-status. If the film were remade today, I think the nationality of Al Capone could be Vietnamese or Mexican, because the biggest cocaine producer is near Vietnamese called Golden Triangle. The nearest country near America is Mexico, which has a really good location to import cocaine. Also, both of these countries have huge population in America. The city would be setting as Los Angeles, because that place seems the most international and rich city in America. The location of that city is also good in this case.
Elaine Cheng
14 January 2013 at 22:44
The reason I believe that Ken Tucker says that AI Capone is a great American myth because he came to the United State alone. He was really cruel, killed lots of people, and believed that heavy machine gun is much better than other things. Also, his involvement of the government made him as a great American myth. Even now, we still can find his influence on some movies. And then, The Scarface is more than just a gangster movie because it is different with other gangster movie in that period because it not talking about the gangster family or a group of people, it is just talks about Al Capone or Tony Montana. And it used lots of explosion in the movie. Just like Tucker said that every thirty minutes, there is a big thing happen. The immigrant status is the beginning of Capone’s gangster life because his gangster life became infamous after he arrived the United State. If the film were remade today, I think the Mexican nationality would be an appropriate one for AI Capone because the country just next to the U.S and they produce drugs. The city would be large city like LA, because it is a city with lots of wealthy residents and other immigrants. Therefore, it provides more opportunities to gangster to make money.
Kelsey Zenna
14 January 2013 at 23:46
Ken Tucker describes Al Capone as “a great American myth.” Capone became a legend throughout American culture. Capone immigrated to the United States alone and became incredibly wealthy and powerful by trading illegal substances. The myth portion of Capone is seen through Al Pacino’s portrayal of Tony Montana in Scarface. Tony Montana is a true gangster in the sense that he used very violent means to achieve his powerful standing and wealth. Pacino himself said he wanted everything in the role to be exaggerated so that it was remembered. I think that Scarface is the more exaggerated version of Capone’s life and business. The immigrant status was important to make him seem different from the majority of the public and also provides a motivator to his character because he would need to succeed in the new country.
If the film were to be remade today, I think Al Capone’s likeness would be portrayed through a Mexican character. The issues of illegal immigration and drug trafficking from Mexico have become much more prominent within the last decade, so it would make sense to have the main gangster character embody these ideas. I think the setting would probably take place in a large city, such as Los Angeles. Though it may not be close to the border, it is a prominent city with a larger Hispanic population, which would work for the plot of the film.
Mark Capetola
15 January 2013 at 0:15
Al Capone is the most notorious gangster in American history. He was your typical Italian “soldier” and climbed the ladder all the way to the top. Capone controlled all organized crime in Chicago and the midwest. I think saying that Tony Montana, Al Pacino’s character, is a myth is accurate for a couple of reasons. The success the Montana has and rise of status would be quite hard for an immigrant with no inside connections. Also, Capone and other lead gangsters in American history were more low key in their handling of illegal activities. Tony Montana portrays a real out of control mad man who’s ruthless tactics have no boundaries.
If the movie were set for the present time, it would have to be centered in a big city in Southern California. The main character would be of Latin American decent, and probably have a bunch of connection’s with the large latin population in Southern California. Drug trafficking through Mexico would be the main source of revenue for the organized crime ring.
Faizah Holder
15 January 2013 at 0:36
The myth of Al Capone is that one man can bring himself up by his boot straps basically creating a name for himself becoming an American success through the trade of illegal substance. Even though this movie was different from other mob movies that were coming out which were basically about family values and gangsters that everyone was afraid of. Immigrant- status plays a role in his character because he came from another country to America to have better opportunity to make a profit. If there was a remake of Scarface I would like the nationality of Al Capone to be African- American and the setting would be in Chicago, Illinois. The reason behind this because one there is a lot of crime, violence and killings that are going on Illinois that is not being talked about, plus I feel as if there have been a lot of mob and gangster movies in places like New York and Miami I think there should be a movie that shows something different. I think Al Capone should be African American because there has only been one movie that I know of where you seen a African- American as gangster which was American Gangster.
Brie McInerney
15 January 2013 at 1:04
Al Capone is the most infamous gangster in American history. Al Capone was such a legend because of his powerful control over all organized crime after fleeing to Chicago. Ken Tucker describes Al Capone as a great American myth because he was able to rise to the top of the organized crime from a humble beginning. The immigrant-status plays a role in the character of Tony Montana by playing on the fact that he came from Cuba. Although he and Al Capone had a lot of similarities as far as the way they conducted their lives and some of the aspects of their control, they also had very different backgrounds which contributed to the different ways in which they gained control. If the film were to be remade today, I believe that an Italian actor would still be appropriate to play Al Capone. If producers are trying to keep the myth and legend of Al Capone in the minds of viewers, they would be wrong in choosing someone of a completely different nationality to portray him. I think if any other nationality had to be chosen, it should be a Latin American actor, only because of how easily a plotline of drug trafficking would be present for the film. The setting would have to take place somewhere in Southern California because that is one of the most accessible areas for getting to the other side of the border.
Cassie Santiago
15 January 2013 at 1:10
Al Capone is described as “a great American myth” because he did something that was unusual. He is an immigrant that was able to make a living on his own in America. Despite the fact that it was through the trading of illicit drugs, he was able to become wealthy and successful. Ken Tucker mentions that when he asked what people’s opinions on Scarface were in a hip-hop community, he was somewhat idolized. Some people look at Scarface as an “American success story” because he became who he was on his own. Unlike in “The Godfather”, Al Capone didn’t have the support of his family. In the film “Scarface”, immigrant-status might play a role in Tony Montana’s character because most immigrants would come to America and never achieve the things that he did. The fact that he was an immigrant in to the United States made the film more of a success story rather than just a gangster film. I think an appropriate nationality for a remake of “Scarface” would be Italian or Latin American. In film history, this seems like a consistent stereotype. Many films that are similar to “Scarface” are based on people of Italian or Latin American descent. I could see the film being set in a major city such as New York City, Los Angeles or Philadelphia. Gangs and drug violence are more prominent in urban areas so the setting would make more sense if it were in a city.
Jessie Mabone
15 January 2013 at 1:11
Ken Tucker describes Al Capone as a great American myth because he is such a successful American gangster. Al Capone is without-a-doubt one of the most infamous Gangsters in American history. Scarface is a movie about one of the most profound Gangsters in American history. Al Capone was the leader of a prohibition era, he was very dedicated and that is one of the reasons he is one of the most well known gangsters in history. Immigrant status plays an important role in this movie because the Cubans are known as the criminals and Fidel Castro’s involvement is also important. The movie “Scarface” really shows how one man can become the leader and come out on top in a world filled with crime because of his skills and smarts. If it Al Capone would be remade today I believe that his nationality could be anything from Asian or Hispanic to African American or even middle eastern because the world has become much more diverse than what this country once was because so many events have happened. The city however could possibly be somewhere on the West Coast or even in Brooklyn once again, anywhere that crime is very frequent.
Christine Pallas
15 January 2013 at 1:31
Al Capone is known as an American gangster who got heavily involved, and became head of, illegal drug trafficking. During the prohibition era in the United States, Capone was able to smuggle large amounts of alcohol from Canada into Chicago. Most gangster movies are depicted with having large families, all of the men within the family having something to do with the crimes being committed. However, Scarface sheds new light to the American gangster stereotype. Tony Montana, played by Al Pacino, plays a gangster who moves drugs from Colombia to Miami, by himself. There is no depiction of family bonds in this film.
Immigration often led people to do illegal things for money and Al Capone did just that, but with more power. If the movie were to be remade today I think it would have to place Al Capone as a Mexican character, for the fact that many immigrants in the United States today are Mexicans. Drug trafficking would take place between northern Mexico, up through San Antonio, TX and parts of New Mexico and then finally major cities in California where there is a large population of Spanish people. With the large amount of immigrants and poverty, drug trafficking might seem as an ideal way to make money.
Nicole Ferrara
15 January 2013 at 1:34
As described by Ken Tucker, Al Capone is “a great American myth.” Scarface resonates with audiences because it is a version of the American success story where a man is able to bring himself up by his bootstraps. It is a gangster movie, but it is more than that. For instance, it is different than other gangster movies, such as The Godfather, because Scarface focuses on one man instead of focusing on the family and gang in other movies. This one man is the focus of how he was able to succeed in America. The story is accepted because it is reality mixed with a myth which resulted in a phenomenon. As stated, it is based on fact of a man bringing himself up from nothing, but is taking it to the next level of the myth by using the story of the gangster. So many people accepted it, especially African Americans and Latinos because the character wasn’t Italian American like in other movies. If the film were remade today, I think Al Capone could be of any nationality and almost any large city in America could be the setting. Society has become so globalized, immigrants are of all different nationalities and all different ethnicities participate in illegal acts. Technology today has made nations more connected, but that also means that crime has become more trans-national. Immigrants can easily bring illegal substances to different countries, especially to a country’s border cities. I believe the movie could have many different options if it were remade today.
Daniel McNair
15 January 2013 at 1:47
Tony Montana is a Cuban refugee that comes to America during the Mariel boatlift. I believe the myth of Al Capone deals with his rise to money and power. All Americans want money and the majority of people want power. The way that Tony Montana came to this country and started trafficking cocaine, as well as a list of other illegal things, appealed to Americans. This created this sort of myth that it would be easy to just become rich and powerful by trafficking drugs, money laundering and other crimes. I feel that the fact that Tony Montana was an immigrant played a part in his rise and fall of power. As we talked about in class, people who are immigrants in America see things differently than we do. Since Tony was an immigrant he was able to see a way to successfully traffic cocaine and become wealthy from it. This is something that most Americans might not have seen. If the movie were to be remade today, a few things would probably change. The state that Tony Montana settled in would probably be either California or Florida. The ethnicity of that person would most likely be Mexican because a lot of Mexicans have now moved out of Mexico and settled in the southern states of the U.S.
Samantha Garlick
15 January 2013 at 2:41
Scarface is a classic movie that so many people have watched at least once. The Myth of Al Capone is one that is in most movies in America although not portrayed in the same way. The myth of Al Capone is an American success story of a man who brought himself up by his boot straps. This theme is seen throughout many different genres of film. The immigrant status is portrayed in this movie because Al Capone was an immigrant from Cuba. It shows how he was an outsider that had to integrate into our culture. A nationality that would be appropriate for the remake of Scarface today would be Mexican American because of Mexico’s import of Illegal Drug trade. If this was from Mexico I would think the City that it would take place in would be San Antonio Texas because that seems to be a central point in Texas where the drug trade is relevant. This would make sense because It’s a lot like the movies we watched in class with the drugs in Mexico and Texas.
Drew Peterson
15 January 2013 at 3:04
The man in the video speaks of the Al Capone myth meaning that the way that gangsters are portrayed in movies is a myth. Al Capone was an immigrant who came from nothing but made something of himself through the “gangster life”. This idea is blown up in gangster films because it is more appealing and glorifies the gangsters in the film. We see this in the movie Scarface because the real Al Capone was moving alcohol from Canada to Chicago, but in the movie, Tony Montana is a Cuban immigrant moving drugs from Colombia to Miami. This is done to make the character more relevant to the time period in which the movie was made. If the movie were made today, the main character might be a drug trafficker from Mexico and the film might take place somewhere around the Mexican and US border. This would make the movie more relevant to the real life situations going on now and make the movie more appealing to the viewer.
Ryan Barr
15 January 2013 at 3:50
The myth of Al Copone is that he is one of, if not the most fieared gangster of all time. He was known to be extremely violent with a short fuse, and always seemed to dodge the cops or death. Al Capone was able to pull himslef up out of poverty through his illegal business, and made himslef very very successful. Along with that came fame and fortune, but also stories that have been passed down by a lot of people. These stroies maybe based on true facts, but I’m sure that they also have fals information to make the stories more enjoyable. If the movies was remade now, I think that the character would been of Mexican nationality, and would have been taking place in a bordertown in Texas or New Mexico.
Lexy Lehman
15 January 2013 at 4:06
The myth of Al Capone is the way his image is portrayed as Tony Montana in “Scarface.” Tony Montana is able to succeed as a leader of a drug cartel in Florida, when years prior he was an immigrant with a poor social status. Montana is a gangster who built and controlled a drug empire, which differs from Al Capone and other famous gangsters in history. Al Capone’s character is overstated and misrepresented in this film, which is why there are many myths associated with his criminal behavior. The immigrant-status plays a role in this film because Montana came to Miami to achieve the ‘American Dream.’ “Scarface” is more than just a gangster movie because it not only shows the impact of the drug cartel in Florida, but also displays the motivation for immigrants to achieve a high social status in American society. If the film were remade today I believe the character representing Al Capone would be Latin American or Mexican because of the large amounts of drugs transported through these countries to the United States. An appropriate setting for a new movie would be a city California, New Mexico, Arizona, or Texas because of the access to the borders in Mexico.
Dave Singleton
15 January 2013 at 4:16
Al Capone, a myth type of story that one man’s story of success and defining himself in America. Ken Tucker describes this as “A great American myth” because Al Capone is known for being successful, beneficial, and a powerful gangster in American history. In the movie it showed not the same qualities such as Al Capone not having a family or anyone trying to help him because he did everything on his own. He had his own success, which in today’s world means “self-made.” Capone was the leader of all organized crime in Chicago and the Midwest. Capone came from humble beginnings and that is the prime reasons why he remains a legend. Tony Montana was an immigrant and that status played a part because he came from another country to America to gain a higher profit. Capone and Montana were similar in some ways, but showed different aspects to the ways they conducted control over things. If the movie was to be remade today, I believe it still would be appropriate to have an Italian perform the role, but maybe in a different country or out West like LA. High drugtrafficing, poverty, and heavy crime activity would be the best places to have the new setting because it fits the description and has a large city full of Hispanic population.
Brianna McCrudden
15 January 2013 at 4:40
Scarface is an iconic movie that has designated with many different people across America for symbolizing the ideal of American success. Out of this film come the legend of Al Capone, or Tony Montana in the movie Scarface, putting a face to one of the most popular American success stories. This story was such a legend because he was one man that was alone making all this success for himself, unlike the Godfather who’s plot line revolves around family. Al Capone is considered a myth by ‘how well he pulls up his bootstraps,’ meaning that he is a man who’s shoes are hard to fill. But I think that is we were to retell this tale taking place today, I think that Al Capone’s heritage should be of possibly Mexican descent because of all the gang violence going on in LA. But personally I think sticking to the original is much better. One of the reasons it was made to be such a popular film during the time was because it had somewhat current events going on about the Colombian Drug Trade.
Julia Miller
15 January 2013 at 4:48
Ken Tucker describes Al Capone as “A Great American Myth” in Scarface and is convinced it is more than just a gangster movie. In the interview, he states that, “Scarface differentiated itself from a lot of other gangster movies in the sense that in other similar movies such as the Godfather, it focused on the family and gangs, where as in Scarface, it was really about ONE man getting ahead.” The screen writer, Oliver Stone, emphasized in Scarface a cultural and sociological residence through the characters, mainly Tony Montana (Al Capone) to show his journey of rags to riches through a trade of an illicit substance/ alcohol. I also think he was referred to as the Great American Myth because the way he succeeded it truly difficult and nearly impossible–except for Al Capone. Many people accept his story simply because he became a world wide phenomenon through his intelligence, cleverness, and obviously his “gangster” demeanor. His story is essentially a man who got further in life not by taking the normal “success” route, but more of a criminal journey to greatness.
If the film were made in our modern society, the main character would resemble a drug trafficker from a Mexican populated city such as LA, Miami, or Mexico. There has been evidence that Mexican drug trafficking has become a lot more common from the 90s until now so I think that the modern day Al Capone would be portrayed through a Mexican character. I think the main character, Al Capone would somewhat compare to the main character of No Country for Old Men if Scarface was remade today as a Mexican or Hispanic drug trafficker.
Sean Potter
15 January 2013 at 4:52
Al Capone is one the most famous gangsters in America. There have been numerous films and book written about this infamous character. He was born in New York and became involved with organized crime. He later moved to Chicago and that is where he truly rose to power. While he was not an actual immigrant, he was the son of Italian immigrants, which makes his story interesting. Like Tony Montana, Al Capone had to rise up from almost nothing. This is why the immigrant status plays such a big role in the story. To put it simply, it is an underdog story, someone who rose against the odds to become wealthy and powerful.
If I were to do a remake, I think an interesting nationality would be a Japanese. I think it would be interesting because the group the main character would get involved in would be the Yakuza in Los Angeles, because this is the area the Yakuza is known to be in. I believe this would be an interesting setup because Yakuza have made alliances with other Asian gangs not to mention they probably butt heads with American organized crime. Not only would this person be in a foreign country but also he must rise against the odds while trying gain the respect or take over the other gangs in the area. Even with the power this character would have constant enemies, American organized crime, the government, and even gangs he has alliances with.
Jameia Boone
15 January 2013 at 5:03
The myth of Al Capone, according to Ken Tucker, is that Scarface is one version of the American success story. It is about one man who, on his own, climbs to the top. People from the hip hop world said that they enjoyed the movie because it was different from the Godfather and other gangster movies by having the main character climb up the ladder on his own and not have family or friends to help/back him, this movie had a tremendous cultural resonance. Al Capone’s role as a street thug allowed for others to more easily identify with the character and be able to understand what he had to go through to get where he was and how hard it had to be. Immigrant-status plays a role in his character because it adds just a little bit more to it than if it were another movie about an Italian thug/gangster or anyone else. It also adds to it because he is Cuban and people may have had a stereotype of what they believed Cubans were like, thereby adding to the appeal of the movie. If the movie were made using a different nationality today and a different city setting, I honestly do not know how it would be received. Scarface is one of the classics and unless there is a guarantee that a movie like it will be just as good if not better, it would be best not to tempt making a “new” version of it.
Cornell Lucas
15 January 2013 at 12:46
Al Capone became a myth because his story was so controversial and fantasy-like. When does a poor Italian immigrant child become a gang lord? Never, one would think. But prevalently, it seems those who rise from the bottom to the top always become the greatest. And because Al Capone and Al Pacino were immigrants, their success seems all the more achievable to the ordinary American. This is why we love their story. Not to mention that they are he “bad guy” – we all want to be that to some extent. Today if the film were remade I see the main character as a Mexican immigrant (which is similar to Tony Montana) or as a biracial child. Why? Because these two “races” are the newest and fastest growing on the American scene. The setting would have to be a migration from New York to California, or maybe vice versa, because these cities are the greatest oppositions and allies. The movie carries an aspect of fighting against yourself, right?
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In 2003, the American Film Institute compiled a list of the top 50 movie villains - which character from a 1991 film was voted number one? | 1. In which city did gangster Al Capone operate? - Liverpool Echo
1. In which city did gangster Al Capone operate?
2. Who had a number one hit in 1974 called Billy Don't Be A Hero?
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2. Who had a number one hit in 1974 called Billy Don't Be A Hero?
3. In 2003, the American Film Institute compiled a list of the top 50 movie villains – which character from a 1991 film was voted number one?
4. Which fictional hero, created by Baroness Orczy, takes his name from the small red flower with which he signs his messages?
5. Who played Hans Gruber in the film Die Hard?
6. What is the minimum number of darts a person needs to throw to complete a leg from 501?
7. Which was the first British football team to win the European Cup?
8. How many players make up a netball team?
9. In the Olympic Games, what five sports make up the modern pentathlon?
10. What is the maximum no of match points that can be held at one time in a tennis match at Wimbledon?
1. Chicago; 2. Paper Lace; 3. Hannibal Lecter; 4. The Scarlet Pimpernel; 5. Alan Rickman; 6. 9; 7. Celtic; 8. 7; 9. Running, fencing, swimming, horse riding and shooting; 10. 6 (when leading 6-0 in a tie-break)
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Which fictional hero, created by Baroness Orczy, takes his name from the small red flower with which he signs his messages? | LDS Characters and Connections in AFI's 100 Heroes and Villains
in AFI's "100 Heroes and Villains" List
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Feature Films with Major Characters who are Latter-day Saints
Beginning in 1998 the American Film Institute (AFI) has created yearly lists celebrating American cinematic achievement. Their first list, presented during a 2 hour broadcast, was simply titled "AFI's 100 Years... 100 Movies." This list offered their selection of the 100 greatest American movies of the last 100 years, as voted on by a large number of leaders in the film community: screenwriters, directors, actors, producers, cinematographers, editors, executives, film historians and critics.
Since then, the AFI has presented lists of the 100 greatest stars, 100 greatest comedies, 100 most thrilling films and 100 best romantic films.
This year's AFI list was "100 Heroes and Villains," featuring the AFI's picks for the top 50 heroes and top 50 villains of American cinema. This year's list was different in that it looked not just at movies as a whole, but at specific characters from movies - focusing on heroes and villains. In fact, some movies appear on this list more than once, associated with more than one great character. Also, a number of characters are listed here, and ranked high, not for their appearance in a single movie, but for their legacy from many films. Such characters include James Bond, Indiana Jones, Robin Hood and Dracula.
Of course, all of these lists are ultimately subjective, and they are clearly designed to draw attention to American movies past and present. But even if one disagrees with the lists, they are interesting to think about, and they remind people of movies which have had lasting impact.
Latter-day Saints on the List
There is only one Latter-day Saint on this list of 100 heroes and villains: Butch Cassidy. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid share the #20 spot on the Heroes list for the 1969 movie named after them. As an adult Butch Cassidy was not a devout Latter-day Saint, but he was raised in the Church. Presumably his highly ethical upbringing led to his famously non-lethal style of being an outlaw.
Although only one of the characters on this AFI list is a Mormon, many of the movies highlighted on the list were made by Latter-day Saint (and/or Utah) filmmakers. Latter-day Saints and/or Utahns filled many above-the-line roles such as producer, writer, director, editor or star in the movies on this AFI list. Also, some of the non-LDS actors highlighted on this list for the hero or villain they played in one movie have played a Latter-day Saint character, or played opposite a Latter-day Saint character, in a different movie.
In the notes below, most (but not all) individuals described as a native of Utah or a resident of Utah were indeed Latter-day Saints, but their religious affiliation has not yet been verified in our research.
Heroes
1. Atticus Finch (Gregory Peck) in "To Kill a Mockingbird"
- Actor Gregory Peck was the narrator for the documentary "American Prophet: The Story of Joseph Smith." But Peck was not a Latter-day Saint.
2. Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford) in "The Raiders of the Lost Ark"
- As shown in "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade," Indiana Jones lived in Utah as a boy, and was a member of a Boy Scout troop.
3. James Bond (Sean Connery) in "Dr. No"
- Latter-day Saints have worked on a number of James Bond movies, but none are known to have worked on "Dr. No."
- Latter-day Saint singer Gladys Knight sang the title song for the James Bond movie "License to Kill."
4. Rick Blaine (Humphrey Bogart) in "Casablanca"
- Casey Robinson, a native of Logan, Utah, was one of the screenwriters for this movie.
5. Will Kane (Gary Cooper) in "High Noon"
6. Clarice Starling (Jodie Foster) in "The Silence of the Lambs"
7. Rocky Balboa (Sylvester Stallone) in "Rocky"
8. Ellen Ripley (Sigourney Weaver) in "Aliens"
- This movie was directed by James Cameron. Although not a Latter-day Saint himself, Cameron's first movie was funded entirely by a group of Latter-day Saint dentists, thus launching his career.
9. George Bailey (Jimmy Stewart) in "It's a Wonderful Life"
- The musical score for this movie was co-written by Latter-day Saint composer Leigh Harline.
- Latter-day Saint actor Moroni Olsen had a small part as the voice of the senior angel.
- Utah actors Charles Meakin and Joseph Kearns also had a small parts.
10. T. E. Lawrence (Peter O'Toole) in "Lawrence of Arabia"
11. Jefferson Smith (Jimmy Stewart) in "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington"
12. Tom Joad in "The Grapes of Wrath"
- Academy Award-winner Thomas Little, a native of Ogden, Utah, was the set decorator for this movie.
13. Oskar Schindler (Ben Kingsley) in "Schindler's List"
- Latter-day Saint producer Gerald R. Molen received the Best Picture Academy Award for producing this movie.
14. Han Solo (Harrison Ford) in "Star Wars"
15. Norma Rae Webster (Sally Field) in "Norma Rae"
16. Shane in "Shane"
17. Harry Callahan (Clint Eastwood) in "Dirty Harry"
- Clint Eastwood played a man who married a Latter-day Saint woman (Jean Seberg) in the Parmount movie "Paint Your Wagon."
18. Robin Hood (Errol Flynn) in "The Adventures of Robin Hood"
19. Virgil Tibbs (Sidney Poitier) "In the Heat of the Night"
- Hal Ashby, a native of Ogden, Utah, received an Academy Award for Best Film Editing for this movie.
20. Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid (Paul Newman and Robert Redford) in "Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid"
- The real-life Butch Cassidy was a Latter-day Saint, but he was not a practicing Church member as an adult. He left his home in Beaver, Utah as a teenager.
- The "Sundance Kid" was played by non-LDS actor Robert Redford, a resident of Utah. Sundance, Utah and the Sundance Film Festival are named after Redford's character in this movie.
21. Mahatma Gandhi in "Gandhi"
22. Spartacus (Kirk Douglas) in "Spartacus"
23. Terry Malloy in "On the Waterfront"
24. Thelma Dickerson and Louise Sawyer (Geena Davis and Susan Sarandon) in "Thelma and Louise"
25. Lou Gehrig (Gary Cooper) in "The Pride of the Yankees"
- Casey Robinson, a native of Logan, Utah, was one of the screenwriters for this movie.
- The composer for this movie was Mormon film composer Leigh Harline, who received one of his many Academy Award nominations for this film.
26. Superman (Christopher Reeve) in "Superman"
- Latter-day Saint actor Paul Tuerpe had a small part in this movie.
- Latter-day Saint actor Paul Walker recently was asked to star in the title role in the upcoming remake of "Superman." Walker met with producers and even donned the costume, but he ended up turning down the role because he knew that the part would be such a high-profile role that he would be known for the rest of his life as "Superman."
- Perhaps "Superman" star Christopher Reeve's best-known non-Superman role was as the lead in "Somewhere in Time," in which he played a contemporary man so enamored with the image of the actress "Elise McKenna" (based on real-life Mormon actress Maude Adams), that he travels back in time to meet her.
- A number of Latter-day Saints are now involved in the writing and production of the TV series "Smallville," featuring Clark Kent as a teenager before he became known as "Superman."
27. Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein "All the President's Men"
- Latter-day Saint makeup artist Gary Liddiard was the key makeup artist for this movie.
- Non-LDS actor Robert Redford, a resident of Utah, starred as Bob Woodward. Hal Holbrook played "Deep Throat," the film's pivotal character: the informant, whose true identity has never been resolved. Latter-day Saint investigative journalist Jack Anderson was long been one of the people rumored to be "Deep Throat," but most historians believe he was not, and Anderson claims that he is not, although he claims to know who Deep Throat is.
28. Juror #8 (Henry Fonda) in "12 Angry Men"
29. General George Patton (George C. Scott) in "Patton"
30. Luke Jackson (Paul Newman) in "Cool Hand Luke"
31. Erin Brockovich (Julia Roberts) in "Erin Brockovich"
- Brockovich's boyfriend (the film's 3rd billed role) was played by Latter-day Saint actor Aaron Eckhart.
32. Philip Marlowe (Humphrey Bogart) in "The Big Sleep"
33. Marge Gunderson (Frances McDormand) in "Fargo"
34. Tarzan in "Tarzan the Ape Man"
- This 1959 movie, "Tarzan, the Ape Man," was directed by Joseph M. Newman, a native of Logan, Utah.
- The character of "Tarzan" was created by non-LDS writer Edgar Rice Burroughs, who lived for many years in Idaho and also lived for a time in Salt Lake City, Utah, where he worked as a police officer.
35. Alvin York (Gary Cooper) in "Sergeant York"
36. Rooster Cogburn (John Wayne)in "True Grit"
- John Wayne was neither a Latter-day Saint nor a Utahn, but he filmed at least 13 movies in Utah -- more than any other non-Utahn actor.
- The set decorator for this movie was a Utahn: John Burton.
37. Obi-Wan Kenobi (Alec Guinness) in "Star Wars"
38. The Tramp (Charlie Chaplin) in "City Lights"
- Chaplin made many films as "The Tramp." His most frequent on-screen nemesis was Utah actor Mack Swain, who co-starred with Chaplin in over 20 films.
39. Lassie in "Lassie Come Come"
40. Frank Serpico (Al Pacino) in "Serpico"
- Pacino's next role is playing the part of Roy Cohn in the HBO miniseries "Angels in America," an adaptation of Kushner's play about Latter-day Saints and GLBT characters in New York City. Cohn is the monstrous mentor to the Mormon Republican lawyer Joe, the play's main character. This is not the first time that Pacino has played a villain opposite a Mormon good guy before. In "Donnie Brasco" (based on a true story), Pacino played mob boss "Lefty Ruggerio," who is being investigated by a Latter-day Saint FBI agent who recruits Johnny Depp to infiltrate Pacino's organization. The movie focuses more on Depp's character than on the FBI agent, but the movie does contain overt references and acknowledgements of the FBI agent's status as an active Latter-day Saint.
41. Arthur Chipping (Robert Donat) in "Goodbye, Mr. Chips"
42. Father Edward (Spencer Tracy) in "Boys Town"
43. Moses (Charlton Heston) in "The Ten Commandments"
- Latter-day Saint actor Delos Jewkes provided the voice of God in this movie.
- Arnold Friberg was a costume designer and assistant art director for this movie. Friberg is well known to Latter-day Saints because he painted the muscular paintings which appeared in the missionary editions of the Book of Mormon for dozens of years.
44. Jimmy "Popeye" Doyle (Gene Hackman) in "The French Connection"
45. Zorro in "The Mark of Zorro"
- Academy Award-winning set decorator (a production designer in those days) Thomas Little (a native of Ogden, Utah), made "The Mark of Zorro" in 1940 -- the same year that he made "Brigham Young: Frontiersman."
- After "The Mark of Zorro, the character of Zorro was further popularized by the Latter-day Saint producer Bill Anderson's "Zorro" TV series of the 1950s and his movies "Zorro, the Avenger (1960) and "The Sign of Zorro" (1960). And Logan, Utah native Casey Robinson was the screenwriter of another Zorro movie in 1963.
46. Batman (Michael Keaton) in "Batman"
- A number of Latter-day Saint artists and filmmakers worked on the four Batman movies, including model maker Clark Schaffer, illustrator James Carson, 3D modeler Ruxton Noble, and Ronald Brown.
- Latter-day Saint animation director Boyd Kirkland was one of the main directors for the TV series "Batman: The Animated Series" (1992-1995). He was the writer, producer and director of the direct-to-video animated feature "Batman & Mr. Freeze: SubZero" (1998), and the sequence director for "Batman: Mask of the Phantasm." These animated productions are widely considered to be better written, artistically superior and more entertaining than the feature film series.
- After Keaton, the "Batman" role was played by Val Kilmer, who is rumored to have been tapped to play you-know-who.
47. Karen Silkwood (Meryl Streep) in "Silkwood"
- Meryl Streep received was nominated for an Academy Award, a Golden Globe, and a BAFTA award for playing Karen Silkwood. Streep's next role is the Latter-day Saint housewife Hannah, the female lead role in the upcoming HBO miniseries 2003 "Angels in America," now in post-production. The miniseries, based on the Pullitzer Prize-winning play by Tony Kushner, is about Latter-day Saints, gays, and gay Latter-day Saints living in New York City.
48. Terminator (Arnold Schwarzenegger) in "Terminator 2: Judment Day"
- Latter-day Saint special effects master Dan Carter received an Academy Award for his work on this movie.
- "Terminator 2" was directed by James Cameron. Although not a Latter-day Saint himself, Cameron's first movie was funded entirely by a group of Latter-day Saint dentists, thus launching his career.
49. Andrew Beckett (Tom Hanks) in Philadelphia
- Actor Tom Hanks was a Latter-day Saint and regularly attended church as a child, during the year that his stepmother was a convert to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
50. General Maximus Decimus Meridus (Russell Crowe) in "Gladiator"
- Bart Hendrickson, the composer for the upcoming LDS-themed feature film "Saints and Soldiers," was a sound designer for "Gladiator."
- Utahn Bruce Fowler was the orchestrator for this movie, in which Maximus retains fervent belief that he will be reunited with his family after he dies. And at the end of the movie... he is.
- According to data from ACNielsen EDI, by June 2000 Richard Dutcher's Latter-day Saint-themed feature film "God's Army" was the year's top-grossing film in Utah. "Gladiator" was Number Two.
Villains
1. Dr. Hannibal Lecter (Anthony Hopkins) in "The Silence of the Lambs"
2. Norman Bates (Anthony Perkins) in "Psycho"
3. Darth Vader (David Prowse) in "The Empire Strikes Back"
4. The Wicked Witch of the West in "The Wizard of Oz"
- Latter-day Saint singer Rad Robinson, one of the King's Men quartet, provided the singing voice of the Munchkin coroner. Latter-day Saint actor/singer Delos Jewkes provided the voice of another Munchkin.
5. Nurse Ratched in "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest"
6. Mr. Potter in "It's a Wonderful Life"
- The musical score for this movie was co-written by Latter-day Saint composer Leigh Harline.
- Latter-day Saint actor Moroni Olsen had a small part as the voice of the senior angel.
- Utah actors Charles Meakin and Joseph Kearns also had a small parts.
7. Alex Forrest (Glenn Close) in "Fatal Attraction"
8. Phyllis Dietrichson (Barbara Stanwyck) in "Double Indemnity"
9. Regan MacNeil (Linda Blair) in "The Exorcist"
10. The Queen (Lucille La Verne) in "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs"
- The Queen's co-star was the Magic Mirror, memorably voiced by Latter-day Saint actor Moroni Olsen.
- Mormon film composer Leigh Harline received an Academy Award nomination for his musical score for this movie.
- Eric Larson, a native of Utah, was the animator of the forest animals for this movie.
- Utah native Les Clark animated the "Silly Song" sequence in the movie.
11. Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) in "The Godfather: Part II"
- Pacino's next role is playing the part of Roy Cohn in the HBO miniseries "Angels in America," an adaptation of Kushner's play about Latter-day Saints and GLBT characters in New York City.
12. Alex De Large (Malcolm McDowell) in "A Clockwork Orange"
13. HAL 9000 in "2001: A Space Odyssey"
- After seeing the Academy Award-winning documentary "Universe," directed by Canadian Latter-day Saint filmmaker Colin Low, director Stanley Kubrick sought out Low to help create with the space scenes for "2001."
14. The Alien in "Alien"
- Because of similarities, it has been speculated that this movie was based partially on the short story "The Alien," written by the late Latter-day Saint science fiction writer Raymond F. Jones ("This Island Earth").
15. Amon Goeth (Liam Neeson) in "Schindler's List"
- Latter-day Saint producer Gerald R. Molen received the Best Picture Academy Award for producing this movie.
16. Noah Cross (John Huston) in "Chinatown"
17. Annie Wilkes (Kathy Bates) in "Misery"
18. The Shark in "Jaws"
19. Captain Bligh (Charles Laughton) in "The Mutiny on the Bounty"
20. Man in "Bambi"
- The supervising animator for this movie was Utah native Eric Larson.
21. Mrs. John Iselin (Angela Lansbury) in "The Manchurian Candidate"
22. Terminator (Arnold Schwarzenegger) in "The Terminator"
- Bob Williams, the director of the "Saturday's Warrior" video, did special effects work for "The Terminator."
- "The Terminator" was directed by James Cameron. Although not a Latter-day Saint himself, Cameron's first movie was funded entirely by a group of Latter-day Saint dentists, thus launching his career.
23. Eve Harrington in "All About Eve"
- Thomas Little, a native of Logan, Utah, received an Academy Award nomination for his set decoration for this film.
24. Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) in "Wall Street"
25. Jack Torrance (Jack Nicholson) in "The Shining"
26. Cody Jarrett in "White Heat"
27. Martians "The War of the Worlds"
- Gordon Jennings, a Utahn, won an Academy Award for his special effects for this movie.
28. Max Cady in "Cape Fear"
- Latter-day Saint stuntmen Billy Judkins and Doug Coleman worked on the 1991 version of "Cape Fear"
29. Reverend Harry Powell in "The Night of the Hunter"
30. Travis Bickle (Robert De Niro) in "Taxi Driver"
31. Mrs. Danvers in "Rebecca"
32. Clyde Barrow and Bonnie Parker in "Bonnie and Clyde"
33. Count Dracula (Bela Lugosi) in "Dracula"
- Latter-day Saint actor Robert Clarke (himself a horror movie star) was the host and narrator of a 1997 documentary titled "Lugosi: Hollywood's Dracula," which was about Lugosi and his role as Dracula.
- Latter-day Saint actor Johnny Whitaker co-starred with Dracula in "Mystery in Dracula's Castle" (1972)
34. Dr. Szell (Laurence Olivier) in "Marathon Man"
- Actor Glenn Robards, who was in the documentary "Trail of Hope: The Story of the Mormon Trail," had a small part in "Marathon Man."
35. J.J. Hunsecker (Burt Lancaster) in "Sweet Smell of Success"
36. Frank Booth (Dennis Hopper) in "Blue Velvet"
37. Harry Lime (Orson Welles) in "The Third Man"
38. Caesar Enrico Bandello (Edward G. Robinson) in "Little Caesar"
39. Cruella De Vil (Glenn Close) in "101 Dalmatians"
- Latter-day Saint actor Cam Clarke had a regular voice actor role as "Rex Hunter" on "101 Dalmatians: The Series" (1996-1998).
40. Freddy Krueger (Robert Englund) in "A Nightmare on Elm Street"
- Latter-day Saint actor Whitby Hertford had a major role facing off against Freddy Krueger in the sequel "A Nightmare On Elm Street 5: The Dream Child" (1989). Hertford won the Young Artist Award for Best Young Actor Supporting Role in a Motion Picture for this role.
- Eric McLeod of Moab, Utah was the production coordinator for "Nightmare on Elm Street 4."
- Actor Brian Wimmer of Orem, Utah had a part in "Nightmare on Elm Street 2."
- Other Latter-day Saints and/or Utahns who have worked on the "Nightmare" sequels include Marshall D. Moore (of Sandy), Glen Neibaur, Bill McIntosh, Robin Leishman, Camile Schroeder, Brent Brewington, and Dave L. Peck.
41. Joan Crawford (Faye Dunaway) in "Mommie Dearest"
42. Tom Powers (James Cagney) in "The Public Enemy"
- Devereaux Jennings, a Mormon from Utah, was the director of photography (cinematographer) for this movie.
- Edward Woods -- who later retired to live in Utah, where he died and was buried -- had the 2nd-billed role as Tom Powers' buddy, "Matt Doyle." Woods was originally cast to play the lead role of "Tom Powers," with James Cagney playing the second lead. After viewing dailies director Wellman switched the actors and Cagney became a star.
43. Regina Giddens (Bette Davis) in "The Little Foxes"
44. Baby Jane Hudson (Bette Davis) in in "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane"
45. The Joker (Jack Nicholson) in "Batman"
- [See notes under "Batman" as hero.]
46. Hans Gruber (Alan Rickman) in "Die Hard"
- Clark Schaffer, a Latter-day Saint miniature/model special effects expert worked on "Die Hard." He is currently the chief model maker for the upcoming Gary Rogers Book of Mormon film, presumably creating yet another great and spacious building.
- Bryan H. Carroll, a native of Bountiful, Utah, was the assistant film editor for "Die Hard."
- Alan Rickman also starred in the hit science fiction film "Galaxy Quest," which was written by Latter-day Saint screenwriter David Howard.
47. Tony Camonte (Paul Muni) in "Scarface"
48. Verbal Kint (Kevin Spacey) in "The Usual Suspects"
- The cast includes Salt Lake City-based actor Bruce Hamme.
- Utahn Richard Maxey was the film's grip.
- The late, great Latter-day Saint stuntman Billy Judkins worked on this movie.
- Caroline Burton, a photographer and camera operator based in Sandy, Utah, was the still photographer for this movie.
49. Auric Goldfinger (Gert Frobe) in "Goldfinger"
50. Alonzo Harris (Denzel Washington) in "Training Day"
- This villain, a crooked cop, calls his police partner (Ethan Hunt) a Mormon for refusing to use illegal drugs.
- Allen Lafferty, a Latter-day Saint and the production designer for Gary Rogers' upcoming Book of Mormon feature film, worked on "Training Day."
Other Nominees
Before narrowing the list down to 50 villains and 50 heroes, the AFI produced a list of 400 characters that were nominees. Jurors then voted for their top picks among the nominees in order to choose the final list.
Notable on the list of 400 nominees:
Bruno Antony: The villain of the 1951 Alfred Hitchcock classic "Strangers on a Train." Bruno was played by Latter-day Saint actor Robert Walker, in what is largely regarded as Walker's finest role.
Chad: Latter-day Saint actor Aaron Eckhart played "Chad" in Latter-day Saint writer/director Neil LaBute's directorial debut "In the Company of Men" (1997). This was the feature film adaptation of LaBute's play, which he wrote and first staged at Brigham Young University. While on a business trip, Chad cruelly executes a plan to humiliate and emotionally destroy a young deaf woman. The film was critically acclaimed and launched Eckhart's career as a Hollywood actor and LaBute's career as one of America's hottest directors.
Dr. Evil: Featured in "Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me", as well as in "Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery." Dr. Evil, like his nemesis Austin Powers, were both played by Mike Myers. The movies were produced by Eric McLeod, a native of Moab, Utah.
Austin Powers: See above.
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Who played the villain Hans Gruber in the film Die Hard? | Hans Gruber | Die Hard Wiki | Fandom powered by Wikia
"...I'm telling you, you're just going to have to kill me."
"OK."
―Hans' response to Takagi as he casually blows his brains across the board room [src]
Still believing him to be a terrorist, Takagi continued to make assumptions about the purpose of the takeover to which Gruber impatiently told him to sit down. He then continued to question Takagi over the code. After repeatedly denying that he knew the code, Takagi bravely asserted that they were just going to have to kill him. Unfortunately, Hans agreed, and killed Takagi by a single shot to the head from his weapon of choice, a Heckler & Koch P7M13 semi-automatic pistol. After that Gruber ordered Theo, his technical expert, to break through the locks on the vault. Theo reminded Hans that the final lock is powered by circuits that cannot be cut locally. Gruber promised to handle the last lock.
Hans stares down the barrel of John's MP5.
Hans was unaware, however, that observing them through the glass door from the outside was John McClane, who had slipped through the hands of the terrorists. McClane had stopped over at the tower to pick up his wife, Holly. After killing Karl's brother, Tony, Karl screams in anger and toss the office desk down, causing Hans to pushes him into the wall and tells him not to alter their plan. McClane used Tony's walkie-talkie to radio for help. This resulted in a cop car being sent over. The officer, Al Powell, did a quick check over, and left. McClane saw this and after having dispatched two more of the terrorists threw the body onto Powell's car. These were the first omens of the trouble to come.
Master Plan
"Mrs. McClane. How nice to make your acquaintance."
―Hans discovers Holly's relation to John McClane. [src]
While acquiring a two-way radio, C4 explosives, and detonators from the body of one terrorist, McClane explained the situation via the two-way radio as the police, led by Deputy Police Chief Dwayne T. Robinson , arrived. The police sent in a SWAT team and an armored vehicle. McClane and Powell aware unable to prevent the SWAT team from being ambushed, but McClane managed to kill the terrorists attacking the SWAT team. One of Holly's coworkers, Harry Ellis , tried to negotiate with Hans and McClane for the return of the detonators. McClane helplessly tells Ellis that Hans would kill him to which Gruber proves when Ellis fails. The FBI arrived, and took control from the police. They ordered the power to the building shut down, which deactivates the vault's final lock as Gruber had intended. Theo ransacks the now-open vault, loading the bearer bonds into an ambulance to be used as their getaway vehicle.
Hans intimidates Holly.
McClane continued to sneak through the building to kill the terrorists. When he found Gruber working at the explosives planted on the roof, Gruber passed himself off as an escaped hostage. McClane appeared to let down his guard, and gave Gruber a gun; when Gruber attempted to fire the weapon, however, it is discovered that there were no bullets in the gun. As this happened, Gruber's men appeared from an elevator and fired at McClane, who was forced to flee, leaving behind the detonators. The roof was rigged to explode with the detonators, and Gruber lured the FBI into the trap by asking for helicopter transport for him and his men to Los Angeles International Airport in exchange for the hostages; Gruber planned to use the roof explosion to make the authorities believe him to be dead and allow him to escape with the bonds. As the helicopters travelled to the scene, Gruber observed a television news story from investigative reporter Richard Thornburg that Lucy mentions that Holly Gennero is McClane's wife. With the helicopter nearing with Special Agent Johnson and Agent Johnson on board, Gruber ordered the hostages to the roof, taking personal control over Holly.
Death
"Oh yes, what was it you said to me before? Yippee-ki-ay...motherfucker."
―Hans imitating John McClane before he tries to kill him [src]
McClane arrived at the roof, dealt with the terrorists escorting the hostages, and used his Heckler and Koch MP5 to scare the hostages back downstairs before Hans detonated the C4 and the roof exploded saving McClane from Special Agent Johnson who mistaken him as one of Han's men and about to shoot him, which unfortunately engulfed the FBI helicopters killing Agent Johnson and everyone on the helicopter. Hans's plan continued to fall apart when Argyle stopped Theo from escaping in the getaway ambulance by knocking him unconscious when he rammed the truck with his limousine. After getting back into the skyscraper by shooting through the window, he realized that the remaining two terrorists, Eddie and Hans were holding Holly. He quickly taped his Beretta 92F pistol to his upper back with Christmas gift wrap tape and walked into the vault armed with his empty MP5.
Hans Gruber falls from the 30th floor of the Nakatomi building.
Hans put his pistol to Holly's head and told John to surrender his machine gun, having finally gotten the drop on McClane. John did as he was told, and put his hands behind his back, but used the feint to grab his pistol and shoot Eddie in the forehead and Gruber in the shoulder. The bullet shot through a window, cracking it. Still holding Holly, Hans staggers backwards, wounded badly from the gunshot, and crashes through the broken window. Hans grabs onto Holly's watch and drags her to the floor, hanging on desperately to avoid falling off the building. McClane rushes to help Holly, who is inches away from falling to her death, desperately attempting to unclasp the watch while an infuriated Hans slowly levels his P7 at McClane with the intention of ending his life. Luckily, before Hans can shoot John and take Holly with him, John unclasps the butter hook, and a shocked Hans plummets to his death on the pavement of the plaza , 30 stories down. His reign of terror on McClane, Holly and the hostages was over and Joe Takagi and Harry Ellis are avenged.
Appearance
Edit
Hans in Holly's office.
Hans, on the night of the Nakatomi Christmas party, appeared a very well groomed man. He wore a black suit, a white shirt, a red tie, and black shoes. Due to his knowledge of Takagi's expensive suit, it is likely his own suit was quite expensive. He had brown, though slightly graying hair that was combed to the right. In the file photo used in the news broadcast, detailing the Nakatomi takeover, Hans did, however, have extremely messy hair and baggy, dirty clothes.
Personality
― Alan Rickman on Hans Gruber [src]
Hans Gruber in Die Hard.
Hans preferred to switch between a casual persona and an intimidating one in order to surprise people with his next move, as he had many different tricks up his sleeve. This is the main dilemma of the film, as Hans and John are both trying to stay one step ahead of each other in a battle of wits. Hans had a casual attitude to killing as shown when he murdered Takagi and Ellis and intended to murder the staff of Nakatomi which included a pregnant woman whom he was aware of.
As shown when dealing with Holly, he also had a curt attitude to people whom he did not know.
Hans also has a good, but clearly dark sense of humor, and isn't afraid to make light of very dark and serious situations. This is furthered by his apparent jokey nature with Karl and Theo, two people he presumably knew well and liked. Even McClane often shot witty remarks back and forth either face to face or over the radio with Hans. The last thing Hans ever says, in fact, is a repetition of McClane's trademark phrase that he had jokingly coined over the radio earlier in the film.
An intelligent man, Hans liked to flaunt his knowledge and boast of his high education, as shown during his conversation with Takagi. Gruber was also knowledgeable about business and finance, and he was also able to determine what kind of high priced suit one was wearing just by looking at it (or perhaps he just had a penchant for John Philips suits in particular).
Hans also seems to enjoy reading magazines, making references to things that he has read in Forbes and Time. While speaking to the Police and FBI, Hans diverts their attention by pretending to have ideological aims, as had been presumed (as opposed to the simply self-interested theft which the operation truly is), and demands the release of supposedly imprisoned members of various groups in Canada, Sri Lanka and Northern Ireland, referring to these as "comrades in arms". He has, of course, no concern whatsoever for these people, and when questioned by Karl (who is puzzled, as the ploy seems not to have been a pre-arranged part of the plan) Hans states that he read about them in Time magazine, and doesn't care whether the FBI act on the demands or not.
Due to his blatant disregard for human life, along with the unbelievable things he'd done for the sake of a robbery, John had no problem doing away with Hans. McClane likely feels that Gruber is one of the most disgusting beings he's ever met. Even in the third film, Hans' brother, Simon, concurs with McClane, saying in agreement that his brother was, indeed, an 'asshole'.
Impact
Edit
Alan Rickman's performance as Hans Gruber made him an iconic actor for years to come.
Due in no small part to Rickman's performance, the character of Hans Gruber has had an enduring popularity and is constantly voted as one of the top villains of all time. Due to this, Hans is often seen as John McClane's one true nemesis and the quintessential Die Hard villain, only seconded by his brother, Simon, in Die Hard with a Vengeance.
Due to his highly acclaimed and recognizable performance, Alan Rickman was often typecast as villains following this film, such as playing the Sheriff of Nottingham in the 1991 film Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. In recent years, Rickman has generally stayed away from playing straight villain roles, instead preferring more complex characters. For example, Severus Snape in the Harry Potter franchise, who at first glance seems villanous, but is later revealed that while unlikable in many ways, is an antihero, or complex heroic figure. This role has also impacted Rickman's career and popularity.
Hans was still mentioned relatively often or at least referenced to in some way, in both Die Hard 2 and Die Hard with a Vengeance. He's even arguably referenced to whenever McClane says his 'yippie ki yay' line, as those words were the last words Hans had the chance to say before his death.
Hans Gruber is often voted as one of Alan Rickman's most popular roles. Other popular roles played by Rickman being the Sherriff of Nottingham in Robin Hood-Prince of Thieves, Severus Snape in Harry Potter, and Judge Turpin in Sweeney Todd.
Quotes
| Alan Rickman |
Which superhero takes pictures of himself in action and sells them to the Daily Bugle? | Alan Rickman, star of stage and 'Harry Potter,' dead at 69 | Fox News
Alan Rickman, star of stage and 'Harry Potter,' dead at 69
Published January 14, 2016
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Director Alan Rickman arrives for the "A Little Chaos" gala during the Toronto International Film Festival (TIFF) in Toronto, September 13, 2014. REUTERS/Mark Blinch (CANADA - Tags: ENTERTAINMENT) - RTR4647A
British actor Alan Rickman, a classically-trained stage star and sensual screen villain in the "Harry Potter" saga and other films, has died. He was 69.
Rickman's family said Thursday that the actor had died after a battle with cancer.
Trained at the prestigious Royal Academy of Dramatic Art, Rickman was often cast as the bad guy; with his rich, languid voice he could invest evil with wicked, irresistible relish.
His breakout role was as scheming French aristocrat the Vicomte de Valmont in an acclaimed 1985 Royal Shakespeare Company production of Christopher Hampton's "Les Liaisons Dangereuses."
Film roles included the psychopathic villain Hans Gruber in "Die Hard" in 1988; a deceased lover who consoles his bereaved partner in 1990's "Truly Madly Deeply"; the wicked Sheriff of Nottingham in "Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves" in 1991; and a wayward husband in 2003 romantic comedy "Love Actually."
Millions know him from the Potter films, in which he played the portions and defense against the dark arts teacher Severus Snape, who was either a nemesis or an ally — possibly both — to the titular teenage wizard.
He appeared frequently onstage, earning Tony Award nominations for "Les Liaisons Dangereuses" in 1987 and Noel Coward's "Private Lives" in 2002.
Rickman was also a filmmaker, directing and co-starring opposite Kate Winslet in 2014 costume drama "A Little Chaos."
Frequently charming in person, Rickman was, by his own account, uncompromising as an actor. During the filming of "Harry Potter," he maintained Snape's air of haughty disdain even off-camera.
"The animal in me takes over," Rickman said in 2011 when he appeared on Broadway in Theresa Rebeck's play "Seminar."
"You're as polite as possible, but it's not always possible."
Rickman is survived by his partner of 50 years, Rima Horton, whom he married recently.
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By what name was the serial killer Albert DeSalvo, who killed 13 women between 1962 and 1964, better known? | The Boston Strangler | Criminal Minds Wiki | Fandom powered by Wikia
Edit
The first murder attributed to the Boston Strangler was committed on June 14, 1962. The victim was Anna E. Slesers, a 55-year-old seamstress. It was initially attributed to a suicide, but was then believed to have been the result of a botched robbery, even though several pieces of jewelry were found at the scene. Between that day and August 30, five more women were killed; the second, an 85-year-old, died of a heart attack while her attacker was trying to strangle her. All of those victims were middle-aged or elderly, the youngest being 55. The Strangler then appears to have stopped killing for a few months, returning on December 5. During this second round of murders, the victims were usually in their late teens or early 20s. At the last crime scene, that of Mary Sullivan on January 4, 1964, the killer left a Happy New Year card propped up against her left foot.
During the investigation, two psychics got involved with the task force in charge of the case, the "Strangler Bureau". The first, Paul Gordon, was an ad copywriter said to have ESP powers. He made a description of the killer of Anna E. Slesers which fit Arnold Wallace, a mental patient held at Boston State Hospital who had escaped on several occasions, most of which coincided with the Strangler murders. When he was consulted about the seventh Strangler murder, that of Sophie Clark, he, surprisingly, displayed detailed knowledge of her apartment and made a description that fit Lewis Barnett, who was an initial suspect in the murder. Nothing concrete came out of Gordon's advice. The second psychic, Peter Hurkos , was a well-known career psychic. He claimed to have assisted in the investigation and is confirmed to have been in Boston at the time of the investigation and to have spent time with the police, but a few days later, he was arrested for impersonating a police officer in order to gather information and later convicted of it. James A. Brussel , who previously had made a spot-on profile of the Mad Bomber in New York, aided the authorities. Unlike many contemporary and later psychologists and psychoanalysts involved in the case, he asserted that the murders were the work of a single man, attributing the changes in his behavior to changes in his regular life. In November of 1964, a convicted burglar named Albert DeSalvo (see below ), was caught for an unrelated series of attacks and confessed to the Strangler murders.
Albert DeSalvo
Edit
DeSalvo at the time of his arrest.
Albert Henry DeSalvo was born on September 3, 1931 in Chelsea, Massachusetts. His father, Frank DeSalvo, was a sadistic, violent, alcoholic fisherman from Newfoundland who brutally abused his wife, Charlotte DeSalvo, Albert and his five siblings, one brother and four sisters, and would regularly take home prostitutes and have sex with them in front of his family. Albert once saw him beat all of the teeth out of Charlotte's mouth and then break her fingers one by one. Frank also once sold all his children to a farmer in Maine for $9, though they managed to break out and return home, at which point Frank began teaching him to steal and encouraged him to do so. In 1943, aged 12, Albert was arrested for battery and robbery and was sent to a reform school. The next year he was paroled and got a job as a delivery boy. He was sent back to the same reform school for auto theft only two years later.
At the age of 17, after being released, he enlisted in the U.S. Army and was sent to Europe, where he met a German woman, Irmgard Beck, whom he married and brought back to the States, where he did a second tour in the Army. During his second tour, at Fort Dix, New Jersey, he was arrested for molesting a nine-year-old girl, narrowly escaping conviction because her parents wouldn't press charges. In spite of his court-martial, he was honorably discharged in 1956. Shortly afterwards, he was arrested twice for robbery. He demanded sex from his wife six times a day and called her rigid if she refused. When their first child, a girl named Judy, was born with a pelvis disease, she kept their sex life to a minimum, afraid that any other children they might have might also have conditions. They eventually conceived a healthy son, Michael, together. In the time between DeSalvo's second discharge and March of 1960, he committed a series of attacks known as the Measuring Man crimes, during which he would pose as a talent scout from a modeling agency named "Johnson" in order to get inside women's homes and con them into undressing so he could pretend to take their measurements, fondling them while doing so. Though he confessed to the attacks when he was arrested for burglary, no charges for them were filed and he was sentenced to 11 months in prison for only the burglary charge.
After being released from prison, DeSalvo committed a series of home invasions known as the Green Man attacks. Dressed in green work-clothes, he would break into apartments belonging to women, tie them to their beds in a spread-eagle position at knifepoint, sexually assault them, and leave. A victim who was attacked on October 27, 1964 gave the police a description of the assailant, which led the investigators to DeSalvo and was published in newspapers, leading to more victims coming forward. Earlier on October 27, DeSalvo attempted to break into a home by posing as a motorist. In November, he was arrested for the assaults and confessed not only to them, but also to being the Boston Strangler. He made further confessions under hypnosis. Though his descriptions of the murders and the crime scenes had inconsistencies, he did know some details which had not been revealed to the public. In 1967, he was found guilty of the Green Man attacks and sentenced to life in prison as result of a plea bargain his lawyer, F. Lee Bailey (who later acted as defense for O.J. Simpson and Patty Hearst ), made with the prosecution. In February of the next year, he escaped from his imprisonment together with two other inmates, but turned himself in to Bailey the next day. In 1973, he was found brutally stabbed to death in his cell. Nobody was ever found guilty of his murder.
Though he confessed to the Strangler murders, there are still some doubts as to whether DeSalvo's claims about them were credible. For one thing, his confessions were not completely consistent with the evidence; in many cases, he got the time of death wrong, sometimes he got whether the victim's death was caused by manual or ligature strangulation wrong, and in the case of Mary Sullivan, he stated that he had sexually penetrated her, and yet no semen was found on her body; she was, however, sexually assaulted with a broom handle. Additionally, there was no physical evidence linking DeSalvo to the murders and no witness could place him on any of the crime scenes. Because the victims varied widely in age, race, and social class, and the modi operandi in the attacks varied, some believe the murders to be the work of multiple killers; FBI profiler Robert Ressler agreed with this theory, also remarking that it is very implausible that a serial killer who murders thirteen women would simply stop killing in favor of sexual assaults. Additionally, DeSalvo was braggart and is believed to have exaggerated his confessions; according to Dr. Ames Robey, the psychiatrist who evaluated him, DeSalvo "wanted so badly to be the Strangler". One theory about why he would make a false confession is that he wanted to make money from it to support his family; he had told Bailey that he hoped to do so. On June 11, 2013, it had been announced that newly-discovered DNA evidence linked DeSalvo to the murder of Mary Sullivan, the last victim of the Strangler killings, and that authorities are having DeSalvo's body exhumed for further evidence. In July the same year, the authorities announced that a DNA comparison between DeSalvo and semen found at the Sullivan crime scene had confirmed that DeSalvo was the source.
Modus Operandi
Edit
The Strangler's victims were women of several different ethnicities and of widely varying ages; the youngest was 19 and the oldest 85. During the first phase of the killings, the victims were often older and during the second phase, younger. He entered their homes through home invasions, where he attacked them sexually. As the Strangler's nickname implies, the victims were killed by strangulation, usually with their own nylon stockings. Sometimes the killer constructed ligatures by weaving together a bunch of smaller ones. According to some sources, the Strangler also had a habit of tying the murder weapons and/or other handy lengths of fabric such as handkerchiefs around the victims' necks into a bow.
One thing that was later noted by profilers was that, though the murders attributed to the Strangler have similarities, there were differences between them:
Some victims were posed, some were not.
Some murders were brutal and aggressive while some were more clinical and efficient
Some victims were physically raped while some were sexually assaulted with blunt objects from the house. Evelyn Corbin was forced to perform oral sex on her killer.
A few victims were stabbed; Beverly Samans was killed solely by 25+ stab wounds, mostly around her right breast. The rest were not stabbed.
Some victims were strangled with multiple ligatures while some were strangled using only one. One victim, Ida Irga, was killed by manual strangulation.
Known Victims
Several victims of the Boston Strangler.
Note: The dates denote when the victims were found.
1962:
June 14, Boston, Massachusetts: Anna E. Slesers, 55
(sexually assaulted with an unspecified object, non-fatally strangled with a belt, fatally strangled with the cord of her bathrobe, and tied it around her neck post-mortem)
June 28, Boston, Massachusetts: Mary Mullen, 85
(indirectly; died of a heart attack when he attempted to strangle her)
June 30:
Boston, Massachusetts: Nina Nichols, 68
(sexually assaulted with a wine bottle and strangled with a nylon stocking; tied two stockings around her neck post-mortem)
Lynn, Massachusetts: Helen Blake, 65
(sexually assaulted and strangled with a nylon stocking like the previous victim; tied the nylon and a bra around her neck post-mortem)
August 19, Beacon Hill, Massachusetts: Ida Irga, 75
(sexually assaulted and manually strangled; a pillowcase was tied around her neck post-mortem)
August 30, Boston, Massachusetts: Jane Sullivan, 67
(sexually assaulted and strangled with her nylon stockings)
December 5, Boston, Massachusetts: Sophie Clark, 20
(sexually assaulted and strangled with her nylon stockings and a petticoat)
December 31, Boston, Massachusetts: Patricia Bissette, 23
(raped and strangled with a ligature made of several interwoven nylon stockings and a blouse; was one month pregnant at the time of her death)
1963:
March 9, Lawrence, Massachusetts: Mary Brown, 69
(raped, stabbed in the breasts with a fork, and strangled; fatally bludgeoned with a pipe)
May 8, Cambridge, Massachusetts: Beverly Samans, 23
(stabbed four times in the neck and 22 times in the torso; two scarves and a nylon stocking were tied around her neck post-mortem)
September 6, Salem, Massachusetts: Evelyn Corbin, 58
(raped, forced to perform oral sex, and strangled with two stockings)
November 23, Lawrence, Massachusetts: Joan Graff, 23
(beaten, raped, and strangled with two nylon stockings and a black leotard)
January 4, 1964, Boston, Massachusetts: Mary Sullivan, 19
(sexually assaulted with a broom handle and strangled with two scarves and a nylon stocking, then them around her neck post-mortem)
On Criminal Minds
Edit
The Strangler was mentioned in Tribute as one of the serial killers whose M.O.s were copied by Michael Peterson . In the episode, Prentiss erroneously names Albert DeSalvo as being the Strangler. Also, his habit of targeting women, attacking them through home invasions, and raping and then killing them through strangulation, is similar to the M.O. of Franklin Graney , a.k.a. The Tommy Killer, the unsub of Plain Sight .
Sources
| Boston Strangler |
In American Film Institute's list of the top 50 movie heroes, the number one hero, Atticus Finch, was from which film? | 1000+ images about The Boston Strangler on Pinterest | Albert desalvo, Boston and In prison
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The Boston Strangler
Albert De Salvo confessed to being the Boston Strangler,raping and killing 13 women in Boston in 1963-64. Although he confessed he was never charged or tried for any of the murders and doubt still hangs over his guilt.One thing for sure the killings stopped when he was caught.
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In which year did Superman appear in comics for the first time? | Superman Publication History | DC Database | Fandom powered by Wikia
Golden Age
Origins
The first Superman character created by Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster was not a hero, but a villain. Their short story "The Reign of the Superman" concerned a bald-headed villain bent on dominating the world. The story did not sell, forcing the two to reposition their character on the right side of the law. In 1935, their Superman story was again rejected by newspaper syndicates wanting to avoid lawsuits, who recognized the character as being similar to a lead character from Philip Wylie's 1930 novel. DC decided to take a chance with Superman, figuring if any lawsuits were filed, they would just drop the feature.
Early sketch of Superman/Clark Kent
The revised Superman first appeared in Action Comics #1 , June 1938. Siegel and Shuster sold the rights to the company for $130 and a contract to supply the publisher with material. The Saturday Evening Post reported in 1941 that the pair was being paid still a fraction of DC's Superman profits. In 1946, when Siegel and Shuster sued for more money, DC fired them, prompting a legal battle that ended in 1948, when they signed away any further claim to Superman or any character created from him. DC soon took their names off the byline. Following the huge financial success of Superman: The Movie in 1978 and news reports of their pauper-like existences, Warner Communications gave Siegel and Shuster lifetime pensions of $35,000 per year and health care benefits. In addition, any media production which includes the Superman character must include the credit, "Superman created by Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster".
Close-up of Action Comics #1, the character's first published appearance
World's Fair
Superman first appeared in the flesh at the 1940 New York World's Fair, portrayed by actor Ray Middleton.
Ray Middleton as Superman, 1940
Silver Age
During a multimedia career spanning over seventy years, Superman has starred in nearly every imaginable situation, and his powers have increased to the point that he is nearly omnipotent. This poses a challenge for writers: "How does one write about a character who is nearly as powerful as God?" (Superman's Kryptonian name, Kal-El , resembles the Hebrew words for "voice of God") This problem contributed to a decline in Superman's popularity, especially during the 1960s and 1970s under the editorship of Mort Weisinger and then Julius Schwartz , when Marvel Comics brought a new level of character development to mainstream comic books.
The Silver Age Superman
Superman #149 - One of many "Deaths of Superman"
Bronze Age
Kal-L , the "other" real Superman
After the establishment of DC Comics' Multiverse in the 1960s, it was established retroactively that a second primary Superman lived on the parallel world of Earth-Two. This Superman was supposed to be the Superman of the "Golden Age" comics, while the Silver Age incarnation had his adventures in the then current Earth designated as Earth-One . It was this separation of the two primary versions of the character that was meant to explain away problems of the character, who never ceased publication from the end of the Golden Age, such as one ongoing incarnation since his debut being still in his late twenties while shown in several specific Golden Age stories and not aging during all that time and many other supportive element conflictions. The writers of DC at the time did not originally believe that having two active Supermen would be successful sales and wrote that the Earth-Two Superman only as a one time event to clear up this problem. However the character along with the other now named Earth-Two incarnations proved so successful that Kal-L was brought back as a reoccurring character being featured in the renamed "Superman Family" series and hence un-retired though on a limited basis. However the writers at DC mostly did not want to do two Superman and mostly wrote the Earth-Two Superman almost as a direct copy of the main Superman with only superficial differences such as Kal-L discovered a rocket of Kryptonian origin landing on Earth, which contained his cousin, Kara Zor-L who like the main Supergirl after acclimating to Earth, Kara-L became the superheroine Power Girl .
Despite being almost a parallel some writers started to develop specific differences between the two due to success of the character with older readers. While the success of the "other" Superman was definite, many writers originally did not want to have too many conflicting stories and had Kal-L resigned from the revived Justice Society as a full time active member in order to allow Power Girl to take his place in the team.
Kal-L (shown with Earth-One "S" shield) retiring from the Earth-Two JSA in order to let Kara-L assume his position in the JSA ( Showcase #99 )
The revamped Earth-Two Superman proved so successful that he rejoined the JSA while Power Girl left to join Infinity Inc. while Kal-L's specific background was developed separate from the original Golden Age stories, most notably in a series of stories in the 1970s established that the Earth-Two Superman, after losing his memory thanks to the Wizard, had married his version of Lois Lane in the 1950s ( Action Comics #484 , (1978)), followed by having him become the editor-in-chief of the Daily Star which were never done to the true Golden Age Superman.
Kal-L was revealed to have been a founding member of the Earth-Two Justice Society in the team's origin story in DC Special #29 . In the early 1980s, the Earth-Two Superman was further revamped to have been an active member of the All-Star Squadron during World War II.
During the 1985 miniseries Crisis on Infinite Earths, the various parallel Earths were collapsed into one, retroactively eliminating Earth-Two and all that it contained. Kal-l, along with his wife Lois Lane-Kent , were spared from universal annihilation that destroyed their source universe, and entered a "paradise" dimension at the end of the series. Kal-L wasn't seen again until the miniseries The Kingdom in 1999, where it was revealed that he had found a means of exiting his dimension, but chose not to at that time. In Infinite Crisis #1 (2005), the Earth-Two Superman was shown as having observed events in the post-Crisis DC Universe from his dimension, and finally decided to re-enter the mainstream DC Universe.
The Earth-Two Superman was written to be different from the primary Superman in every aspect such as his aging and his power levels. For example while incredibly powerful, the Earth-Two Superman is always written as being considerably weaker than the Earth-One Superman. The Superman of Earth-One was written as easily move planets while the Superman of Earth-Two was shown moving ocean liners. When originally introduced as separate character in Justice League of America #79 , Kal-L was shown to be an even match to the Earth-One Superman. This would be changed in the very next meeting in order to distinguish the two Justice League of America #91 , where the Earth-Two Superman was shown to be definitely less powerful to the "main" Superman though still incredibly powerful. These distinctions would be fleshed out fully as the Earth-Two Superman was used more repeatedly, such as showing Kal-L growing less powerful as he aged over the years, directly aging whereas the Earth-One Superman incarnation seemed to remain permanently youthful, marrying his Lois and focusing openly on his life as Clark Kent while the "main" Superman was almost used exclusively as the hero who fought the"never ending battle for truth justice and the American Way" and never really developing Clark as his real persona.
Modern Age
By the early 1980s, DC Comics had decided that a major change was needed to make Superman more appealing to current audiences. Writer-artist John Byrne joined Superman and re-started with the company requested Man of Steel retelling of his origin. This 1986 reboot brought substantial changes to the character and met huge success at the time, being one of the top-selling books. The re-launch of Superman comic books returned the character to the mainstream, again in the forefront of DC's titles.
Artist John Byrne 's Modern Age / Post-Crisis Superman
All Star Superman, launched in 2005, is an ongoing series under DC's All Star imprint, written by Grant Morrison and drawn by Frank Quitely . DC claims that this series will "strip down the Man of Steel to his timeless, essential elements". The All Star imprint attempts to retell some of the history of DC's iconic characters, but outside of the strict DC universe continuity.
Birthright Revamp
Mark Waid 's Superman: Birthright was a major revamp of the Post-Crisis Superman and his origin. Waid was assigned the task to streamline the comic origin make is similar to both the movies (with then unreleased "Superman Returns" ) as well as--perhaps especially-- Smallville , which had proven very popular. The following summary is from the 12-issue series.
The cold, fairly dystopian re-imagining of Krypton created by John Byrne was jettisoned. Much like Jeph Loeb and others had done with their "Return to Krypton" arcs, Waid restored the idea of Krypton being more like it had been in the Silver Age--a place of great wonder and myth. In Jor-El's words, the "people grew tired of war, so they made peace; they feared the unknown, so they conquered it with science; and they yearned for heaven, so they created it beneath their very feet...". A substantial change was with the S-shield as well--no longer was it a symbol for his family's house, as it had been in the Silver Age, or merely an "S" standing for Superman, as it had been in Byrne's revamp, but now it was the Kryptonian symbol for hope. It was shown to be a popular symbol, used on flags, paintings, jewelry, and monuments all over Krypton. It was also on a red, blue, and yellow tapestry that was included in Kal-El's rocket ship. Jor-El was still the scientist whom no one would believe, but instead of Kal-El being an embryo when he was rocketed off, he was again said to be a young child.
The Kents were still farmers, as always, but they were even younger than they had been before. Whereas John Byrne had portrayed them as perhaps in their early to mid thirties when they found Kal-El (making them in their mid sixties or perhaps even seventies during Superman's adventures), Waid portrays them as being between 20 and 25 (again to make them closer to their Smallville counterparts). Their characters are also given an overhaul in their personalities to make them more "modern." Martha, for example, is far from the simple lovable, wise farmer's wife who loves to bake and knit. She is portrayed as being fascinated with aliens, U.F.O.s, etc., and even runs her own website dedicated to such stuff when Clark is in his twenties.
The entire dynamic between Jon and Clark regarding his Superman identity has also been reversed. In Byrne's era, Superman was committed to using his powers in secret, and once "outed" he retreated to Smallville, unsure of what to do. It was Jonathan's suggestion that he adopt a costume and dual identity, inspired by the JSA of the 1940s. Waid's story, however, has Clark coming up with the idea of the costume and identity, and shows Jon dismayed at the idea, feeling like Clark is trying to abandon his identity (and, by extension, his connection to his earth family).
Waid also brought about a new (or arguably, reintroduced an old) vision power, sometimes referred to as "soul vision." Essentially, Clark can see the "aura" surrounding a living being--an aura that disappears when they die. Waid introduced this as a way of explaining why Clark feels so compelled to defend life, as he can literally see it. Going along with this power, Waid also changed Clark into a vegetarian. These decisions have met with mixed reactions from fans [1] .
Infinite Crisis and 52 revamp
The writers of DC have again changed the character in some profound ways due to Infinite Crisis and 52 , selecting to add and remove certain aspects of the character that have been noted in past incarnations after Waid's Birthright that had proven to be unacceptable to many of the specific printed page fans such as Luthor and Kent being almost the same age and interacting as teenagers which they felt negated much of the printed page character's backstories and development. Many of Waid's "Smallville" series compliant edits have since been removed from the yet "revamped again" current incarnation of the character in order to make the character more appreciated to the expectations of the specific printed page fans of the character, as opposed to making the printed page match the expectations of the now obvious separate and non-conforming incarnation of the character from the television Smallville. The most notable change is in the origin of the present printed page incarnation, who is again a very young babe, almost borne on Earth as done in the Byrne revamp, as opposed to the young toddler that was reflective of return of many of the Silver Age elements of the character in Waid's do over. Also notable is Clark is again an open meat eater enjoying his silver age favorite Beef Wellington, negating or drastically reducing the so called soul vision aspect. While eliminating many of the Birthright series, many of these Silver Age elements are still used in the character and storyline. Superman is again written to appreciate and actively uses his Kryptonian heritage as he helps Lor-Zod and Supergirl fully adjust to life on Earth, rather than just as a historical notation.
Serials
Radio Program
The 1940s radio serial, The Adventures of Superman , introduced Perry White , Jimmy Olsen and Inspector Henderson to the Superman story. The series also introduced kryptonite , and told the first stories about Superman meeting Batman .
Narrator Bill Kennedy intoned at the start of each program: "Faster than a speeding bullet. More powerful than a locomotive. Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. Look! Up in the sky. It's a bird. It's a plane. It's Superman! Yes, it's Superman - strange visitor from another planet who came to Earth with powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal men. Superman - who can change the course of mighty rivers, bend steel with his bare hands, and who, disguised as Clark Kent, mild-mannered reporter for a great metropolitan newspaper, fights a never ending battle for Truth, Justice, and the American Way."
Movie Serials
The first animated Superman series was a string of eight-minute cartoon shorts produced by Max and Dave Fleischer for Fleischer studios, Superman . Beginning in 1941 , Fleischer Studios produced nine animated segments of Superman, at which point production was switched over to Famous Studios, where the series continued until 1943 . In total, seventeen episodes were completed and have been widely released on both VHS and DVD formats throughout the years.
Fleischer Superman
Superman came to the silver screen in two live-action movie serials in the 1940s, portrayed by Kirk Alyn .
Mild Mannered Reporter Clark Kent (Kirk Alyn)
Man of Steel (Kirk Alyn)
You Will Believe a Man Can Fly (Kirk Alyn)
Movies
Superman returned to the silver screen in 1978's Superman: The Movie . It spawned three sequels of varying degrees of success and quality.
Christopher Reeve as Superman
Superman Returns
In 2006, the long languishing Superman movie franchise got a restart with Superman Returns . Director Bryan Singer has said that the continuity is "branching off from" elements of "the first two Superman films with Christopher Reeve," which serve as, as he puts it, a "vague history." Thus, the film disconsiders the plot of Superman III and Superman IV: The Quest for Peace .
Television
DC Animated Superman
Superman: The Animated Series ran from 1996-2000 and followed the adventures of Superman as he defended both Metropolis and the entire Earth.
The title for episodes airing under the title The New Batman Superman Adventures is The New Superman Adventures, as acknowledged by WB.
Related Articles
Notes
Clark Kent
Clark Kent is the secret identity of Superman. Kent, as opposed to Clark, is traditionally presented as behaving in a more introverted or "mild-mannered" manner compared to his superheroic self.
As Clark Kent, Superman has always worn his costume underneath his Clark Kent clothes, which lends itself to easy transference between the two personalities. In the wake of John Byrne's The Man of Steel, the contemporary reboot of Superman continuity, many traditional aspects of Clark Kent were dropped in favor of giving him a more aggressive and extroverted personality, including such aspects as making Kent a top football player in high school, along with being a successful author. Recently, some aspects of this change have been dropped, in favor of bringing back elements of the earlier "mild-mannered" version of Kent.
In Metropolis, Clark Kent works as a reporter at the Daily Planet, "a great metropolitan newspaper" which allows him to keep track of ongoing events where he might be of help. Largely working on his own, his identity is easily kept secret. Fellow reporter Lois Lane became the object of Clark's/Superman's romantic affection. Lois's affection for Superman and her rejection of Clark's clumsy advances have been a recurring theme in Superman comics, television, and movies.
Some fans have noted that in order for the disguise to be credible, Clark has to be at least as skilled an actor as Christopher Reeve himself; in the Birthright mini-series, young Clark Kent studied the Meisner technique so that he could seamlessly move between his Clark and Superman personas.
Trivia
Superman's "S" shield has differed in the different eras. The modern Superman, under John Byrne , had the "S" as nothing more than that: just an S which stood for Superman, stitched together by Martha Kent after Superman's debut in Metropolis. With Mark Waid 's Birthright series, the "S" shield was re-imagined as the Kryptonian symbol for "hope." After Infinite Crisis , it was further revealed that an inverted "S" shield was the symbol for resurrection.
There have been a number of TV shows and movies on Superman.
The TV show Smallville focuses on a teenage Clark Kent.
Prior to Superman: Birthright, Superman's favorite food was Beef Bourguignon with Ketchup, but following Mark Waid's retcon, Superman is now a vegetarian.
The use of the name 'Clark' came from actor Clark Gable. The name 'Kent' came from Kent Taylor, actor and the brother-in-law of Jerry Siegel's wife.
The prospect of Superman and Wonder Woman as a couple has been an ongoing debate among fans. In the John Byrne revamp of Superman, Superman felt a very strong attraction to Wonder Woman, even to the point of dreaming and fantasizing about her. While Superman initially thought romance would never be a part of his life due to his crime fighting, he thought for a time that his subconscious was telling him that Wonder Woman was the closest match he would ever find in a potential romantic partner. There have also been hints over the years that Wonder Woman herself is attracted to Superman.
According to official DC facts, Superman stands 6 foot 3 inches and weighs 225 pounds. His given age has varied over the decades; during the 1970s and 1980s, his age in most stories was 29, while the timeline given in Zero Hour #0 and most stories written since then increased his age to 35.
One of Superman's favorite snacks are soft pretzels from a neighborhood vendor named Mahjoub.
Actor Michael Dangerfield lent his voice to the character of Superman on the Krypto the Superdog animated series.
Actor Yuri Lowenthal provides the voice for Superman-X , a 41st century clone of Superman on the Legion of Super-Heroes animated series.
Links and References
| 1938 |
Which West Midlands comedian was born Chris Collins in 1957 and sang on a number one hit single in 1996? | History of Comics - Platinum Age
TheComicsBooks.com - The History of Comic Books
See you in the Funny Pages..
The early known comic has recently become an exciting, brand new field of research in the comic industry. Up until as recent as a years ago it was generally believed that the first comic book was a reprint collection of the first comic strip, best known as the Yellow Kid.
There have been recent discoveries proving that comic books were around long before the Yellow Kid. This new age of comics is being called the "Victorian Age" for now.
With this webpage I'm trying to stick to comic books rather than single panel drawings or comic strips in newspapers. Those things I may expand to after I'm somewhat satisfied I have the comic book history nailed down.
Today the earliest known comic book is called The Adventures of Obadiah Oldbuck. Originally published in several languages in Europe in 1837, among them an English version designed for Britain in 1941. A year later it was that version reprinted in New York on Sept. 14, 1842 for Americans, making it the first comic book printed in America. Odadiah Oldbuck is 40 pages long and measured 8 �" x 11". The book was side stitched, and inside there were 6 to 12 panels per page. No word balloons, but there is text under the panels to describe the story. A copy of it was discovered in Oakland, California in 1998.
The comic was done by Switzerland's Rudolphe Töpffer, who has been considered in Europe (and starting to become here in America) as the creator of the picture story. He created the comic strip in 1827 and the comic book/graphic novel. Rudolphe Töpffer created several (7 is known) graphic novels that were extremely successful and reprinted in many different languages, several of them had English versions in America in 1846. The books remained in print in America until 1877. There are an unknown amount of Victorian Age Comic Books, this era of comic book history is still being discovered, researched and recorded. When more information is available I'll be writing about this as well.
An influential illustrated book to come out in this period was called The Brownies: Their Book. The Brownies feature wasn't really a comic book per say. They were created by Palmer Cox and originally part of a children's magazine called St. Nicholas. The Brownies first appeared in the magazine in 1883 in a story called The Brownies' Ride. The Brownies were heavily merchandised and one of the products they put out was book featuring their illustrations with a text story beside the pictures. The Brownies: Their Book was first published in 1887 and several other books involving the same characters followed afterwards. It is likely to be the first North American Comic to be internationally successful.
Besides St. Nicholas, there were other magazines using picture stories of sorts and they were getting popular. Among the magazines were Harper's, Puck, Judge, Life and Truth. Newspapers began to recognize their growing popularity and added a Sunday Comics feature to cash in. The newspapers couldn't get the popular artists and their characters because the Magazines already had them signed up. But a Puck staff member, Roy L. McCardell told Morrill Goddard, the Sunday editor of The New York World (then largest newspaper) that he knew someone who could provide something.
That someone was Richard F. Outcault. He did a picture of street children in the June 2nd, 1894 edition of Truth. You can see the Yellow Kid (without yellow) is in the picture at the bottom right and plays a minor role. The caption underneath it would read:
Feudal Pride in Hogan's Alley
Little Rosilla McGraw -- No; we won't come and play with you, Delia Costigan. Our rejuced means may temporary necessitate our residin' in a rear tenement, but we're jist as exclusive as when we lived on the first floor front and papa had charge of the pound in the Department of Canine Captivity!
Afterwards, Outcault would do four more for the Truth magazine the last one was is a homage to Palmer Cox's The Brownies. Originally published on the 9th of February 1895, titled Fourth Ward Brownies. It was reprinted in the newspapers shortly afterwards.
Outcault would come to the newspaper and create Hogan's Alley, best known for it's unnamed staring character, whom New Yorkers dubbed, the Yellow Kid. It is believed that Outcault got his inspiration from a number of different sources. Among them were the cartoons of Michael Angelo Woolf and Charles W. Saalburg cartoons that used street kids. The title Hogan's Alley could have come from the song "O'Reilly and the Four Hundred" which stats off singing "Down in Hogan's Alley."
The Platinum Age 1897 - 1938
Early 1897 a book called The Yellow Kid in McFadden's Flats came out. The comic was 196 pages long, square bound, black and white, 50 cents and 5 �" x 7 �". It was published by G. W. Dillingham Company with permission from Hearst, the newspaper that had Hogan's Alley at the time. It was a part of a series that Dillingham did on American Authors, only he took special liberties with this one and created what is today known as a comic book. In fact this comic that coined the phrase "Comic Book" as it's written on the back cover. Inside we get an origin of sorts as it reprints the earliest Yellow Kid's appearances. There is some text within by E. W. Townsend explaining Outcault and the Kid. This comic book starts what is now called the Platinum Age of Comics.
In 1899 a Funny Folks comic book came out, taking a close first stab at a format for many Platinum Age comic books. The book was hardcover, 16 �" wide by 12" tall. Funny Folks was created by F. M. Howarth, but published by E. P. Dutton. It was a black and white collection of reprints from the Puck magazine.
In 1901 The Blackberries came out and is the first known full color comic book. It used a format of 9" x 12" and was a hardcover book.
Then the most often used format of 17" wide x 11 tall" began being used by a number of comic books. Among them The Katzenjammer Kids, Little Nemo and Happy Hooligan. After the Yellow Kid, Outcault would create many other strips and characters. One of them also ended up in comic book form. That was Buster Brown, published in 1902 by Cupples & Leon. Thanks to the merchandising success of Buster Brown, many companies made Buster Brown comics as premiums to sell their stuff. Most of these comics were full color, but with only reprinted Sunday comics on one side of the page. They were large volumes and were priced at 50 cents. This format lasted over a decade.
In 1910 Mutt & Jeff created a new format, reprinting daily strips in black and white. The book was still a hardcover, but was 15" wide x 5" tall. It was published by Ball and they did 5 volumes of Mutt & Jeff books.
Then in 1919, Publisher Cupples & Leon used a different format. They were 10" by 10" with 4 panels per page, each page. They were black and white, 52 pages for 25 cents. Titles and characters used for these books was Mutt & Jeff and Bringing up Father.
In 1922 the first monthly comic book came out. It was cover dated January and had a price of 10 cents. They were done in 8 � by 9 format. The title was Comics Monthly and lasted 12 issues. Each issue was devoted to a popular comic strip character that was syndicated by King Features. Issue #1 and #12 was Polly and her Pals. #2 was Mike & Ike by Rube Goldberg. #3 - S'Matter Pop? #4 - Barney Google. #5 - Tillie the Toiler. #6 - Indoor Sports. #7 - Little Jimmy. #8 Toots and Casper. #9 & 10- Foolish Questions. #11 Barney Google and Spark Plug. These were all reprints of 1921 daily black and white strips.
In 1926 Little Orphan Annie and Smitty comics came out in a 7 by 9 format, published by Cupples and Leon. They were printed in both softcover and Hardcover with dust jackets. They were very popular with a 60 cents price.
In 1929 Dell Publishing took a crack at a regular Comic Book. The comic was called The Funnies and was done in a big tabloid-sized format. They were 16 pages and sold for 10 cents. It was distributed by the newsstands along with newspapers. Unlike Comic Monthly, this book was done 4 colours and had original comic strips instead of reprints. A new issue came out every Saturday, but it lost money. Issues #3 to #21 were 30 cents each. The price changed to 5 cents with issue #22 and lasted the final issue with #36.
Walt Disney got into comic books too. The earliest of these was Mickey Mouse Book. Done in 1930 - 31, published by Bibo & Lang. These were 9"x12", 20 pages long and stapled together. Despite the title of "book" this was in fact a magazine, inside it had a variety of songs, games and stories. There were later printings of this book but some lyrics were edited, advertising was inserted and christmas card was a part of the front cover.
The Adventures of Mickey Mouse is considered to be the first "true" Mickey Mouse comic book. It came out in 1931, is 32 pages long and 5 -1/2" x 8 1/2". It was published by David McKay Co. with a print run of 50,000 copies. There were both hardcover and softcover versions of this book. A second book came out after the Mickey Mouse cartoons and the characters within were made similar to the cartoons.
Mickey Mouse Comic #1 also came out in 1931. It reprints the Mickey Mouse comic strips done by Floyd Gottfredson from 1930 to 1931. It measures 10"x 9 3/4" is 52 pages long with a cardboard cover. The series lasted 4 issues with later reprintings. It was also published by David McKay Co.
There were two different Mickey Mouse Magazines done in 1933. The first in January published by Kamen-Blair. It was distributed by daries and local theaters. It lasted until issue #9, the first few issues had a 5 cent cover price, the later ones did not. The second was also give aways done through different Dairie companies. It had two volumes, the both going 12 issues. Both magazines were done by Walt Disney Productions and they ended in 1935. In the summer of the same year A new Mickey Mouse Magazine was done by publisher K. K. Publishing AKA Western Publishing Co.. Like the previous incarnation, this magazine would run 12 issues, then restart back at #1 with another volume. This continued for 5 years, with #12 volume 4 converted to a more traditional comic book format. It turned 68 pages and shrank to normal comic book size. It then went under a title change to Walt Disney Comics & Stories. I'll discuss that when we get to that point and time.
Not all comics were squeaky clean and sold on newsstands. From about the 1930's to the 1950's small dirty comics were sold through underground means. These were called Tijuana Bibles, despite the name they were made in America. While much of their origins or artists are not known it's believed they were made by members of organized crime. This is partialy because the bibles were illegally using trademarked characters. Well known comic strips, movies stars, sport celeberties and more had their likeness used to tell dirty stories with. The book shown here is a collection of Tijuana Bibles. If you are over 18 and you want to see examples of some Tijuana bibles, click here and here .
In 1933, Detective Dan, Secret Op. 48 was the first comic, sold on the newsstands, with original material in it. Done by Norman Marsh this comic had a 3 color, cardboard cover. Inside was black and white. Sold for 10cents, dimensions were 10x13". It had 36 pages and was only a one shot published by Humor Publishers Corp., The Detective Dan character was a Dick Tracy clone, and didn't last very long. There was some other appearances by him though. One in The Adventures of Detective Ace King. Also done in 1933. There are some minor differences between the two books, among them a paper cover and pages 9 1/2 x12".
Free Comics became popular in the early 1930's. This was mainly because of the depression and deflation. It also kept the publishing presses running during very hard times. Shutting down and starting up the printing presses cost time and money and the presses did everything they could to keep them going. Thousands of different comics were given away as companies used popular comic strips for advertising purposes. The pioneers of this trend is given to Sam Gold and Kay Kamen. Among the most well known giveaways are Kelloggs Buck Rogers and Ovaltine's Little Orphan Annie.
Eastern Color Printing Company was one company that became very important in formation of comic industry. They had a 45 year old sales manager named Harry I. Wildenberg, among his duties were to come up with ideas to keep the color presses going. In 1932 he noticed the color comic strips sections of newspapers were popular and thought they would be good for advertising.
He suggested the idea of a comic book used for advertising to Gulf Oil Company, one of his clients. They liked the idea and hired a few artists to create Gulf Comic Weekly among them were Stan Schendel who did The Uncovered Wagon, Victor (last name unknown) did Curly and the Kids and Svess (last name unknown) doing Smileage. These were one full page, full color comic pictures. The entire comic was 4 pages long and had a format of 10 � by 15. The comic was given away at Gulf Gas Stations making them probably the first comic book published and distributed outside of the newspaper market. The comic was advertised on radio (telling people to go to Gulf Gas stations to get them) on April 30th 1933.
Much to everybodys surprise, the comics proved an very effective draw to the gas stations. People were quickly coming in and snatching them all up. Gulf decided to print out 3 million copies a week had the name changed to Comics Funnies Weekly. The series remained in tabloid sized and lasted 422 issues, ending on May 23, 1941.
A few weeks after coming up with the tabloid sized comic book, Wildenberg came up with the idea of doing a comic book. He said he got it when reading a tabloid sized comic strip page, folded it in half, then in half again. He noticed it was a convenient size for reading comics. He also thought publishing it with 32 or 64 pages would be a good size.
Wildenberg wasn't the first to use this format though. From 1880's to 1910's the size was popular for reprinted comic pages. Pulp Dime Novels were already using that size and the Ledger Syndicate was also using 7 by 9 format for their Sunday newspaper comic strip inserts.
Convinced his idea would be popular Wildenberg secured the rights from many major Syndicates for to reprint their various comic strips. Among them, Associated, Bell, Fisher, McNaught and Public Ledger Syndicate. He had an artist make up a few hand make comics for demonstration purposes and then has his sales staff go around to all of Eastern Color's biggest advertisers. The first to respond (by telegram) was Procter and Gamble, asking for a million 32 page color comic book.
The comic published in the spring of 1933, was called Funnies on Parade. Most remarkable about was it set a format standard, using the same 8" x 11" format that comic books are printed in today. All 1 million copies were given away in a few weeks. The comic came with coupons for Proctor & Gamble products.
Doing the grunt work of publishing the comic went to Wildenbergs sales staff. Most of them were infected by the comic publishing bug after this issue and went on to continue with comics afterwards. The sales staff included Max Gaines (partnered with DC to create All American Comics imprint and started EC), Lev Gleason (became a publisher himself best known for starting the crime comics genre with Crime Does Not Pay) and Harold Moore. Also working on the project was Sol Harrison was the colour seperator (became DC Comics President - retired in 1980), George Dougherty Sr. was the printer (created a lived George Dougherty Co. comics company). Morris Margolis was from Charlton Publications, and was asked to help them figure out how to print the pages in order.
Famous Funnies: a Carnival of Comics was the second comic book done by the Eastern Color group. Printed in 1933, it was 64 pages with a 10 cent price. It was the first retail comic that was distributed to the public as it was given away only through chain department stores. Eastern Color Printing worked together on creating it and got George Delacorte of Dell Publishing to publish the book. After the first issue, Dell Publishing (not seeing any profit) decided to stop publishing the comic.
M.C. Gaines sought to convince his boss Wildenberg that they could make money selling these comics on the newsstand. Wildenberg had a hard time believing that anyone would pay for a comic book. To prove his point , Gaines took a few of issues around, put 10 cent stickers on them and went to local newsstands over the weekend. He told the newsstands what he was testing to see if these could sell and that he'd be back Monday to see how they were doing. Monday came around and to his surprise, they had all sold out and the newsstands were asking for more.
Other freebie comics done were the 100 page Century of Comics and Skippy's Own Book of Comics. Skippy was a very popular comic character and was the first to receive his own "new" comic dedicated comic series. Each of these had a print run of a half a million. From there Wildenberg was really interested in publishing a "higher level" of a comic book with reprints of famous comic strips, sold for 10 cents. He tried to get many companies to hop on but none would. Among those to turn him down were Oscar Fitz-Alan Douglas known as the brains of Woolsworth department store. After much deliberation he decided a 10 cents wasn't worth a comic book. Many other stores to turn them down, as did Parents Magazine. The just couldn't see anyone paying 10 cents for old comics they already read from the newspapers. They Syndicates didn't see it selling either, they remembered both Comics Monthly and The Funnies trying and failing at selling comic books.
Finally Eastern Color owner George Janosik stepped in and asked George Delacourt of Dell Publishing to form a 50/50 partnership in a 10 cent comic magazine for the newsstand. He agreed but the two were stopped cold by the distributor American News Distribution refused as they remembered Dell's The Funnies failure from a few years before. The two then decided to go to the retail chains stores again and got some of them to sell the comics at 10 cents each. Famous Funnies (know called Series One because of duplicate names) used material previously reprinted from the first Famous Funnies and Century of Comics. It was 64 pages, had a print run of 400,000 and they all sold out within 30 days. Not one single returned. Eastern wanted to go back for a second print run but Dell wouldn't agree. Apparently advertisers felt using comic books was beneath them. Still the sold out print run made the two companies $2,000.
Harold Moore an employee under Wildenberg was on a train reading an article about a successful New York newspaper that said their Comics Section was responsible for much of their success. Moore then went back to American News president Harry Gold with the newspaper article. He finally agreed to distribute a monthly comic magazine with a print run of 250,000.
In May 1934 (the comic was dated July), another first issue of Famous Funnies appeared on the newsstands. It featured four pages each of several newspaper comic characters. It was 64 pages long but kept the 10 cent price tag. It had a 90% sell though but still lost $4,150.60. A second issue came out in July (cover dated September) and was monthly after that. With the second issue the magazine hired people at 5 dollars a page to create original material for them. Meanwhile it costed the magazine 10 dollars a page for Syndicated reprints. The comic was edited by Steven O. Douglass but Moore got the credit in the first issue. From issue #3 and on Buck Rogers took the center stage and became the comics feature character. By 7th issue, finally a profit emerged as the group made $2,664.25, but it must have been too little, too late as Dell Publishing got cold feat and sold their 50% to Eastern Color. Still, every issue had higher sales, and by a years time sales were up to almost a million per month. How the 10 cents per issue got divided among the parties bounced around as the series progressed. At first Eastern would see 6 of the 10 cents, later it was 6 �. The rest was split between Newsstand and Distributor with the newsstand taking 2 then 2 � cents and American News took 1 then 1 � cents. Eastern proudly made public the amount of money they were making off the comics, as a way of saying "I told you so" to the many people rejected the idea at first. They were making $30,000 per issue. They also did this to drum up more business, either as a publisher or printer. By the time a year had gone by Funnies had gained some respect and was placed on newsstands beside slick magazines like Atlantic Monthly and Harper's. They also had 5 competitors putting out monthly magazines. This comic series would last 218 issues ending in 1955.
In 1934, with a cover date of February 1935, New Fun Comics came out. The creator, Major Malcolm Wheeler-Nicholson decided that he didn't want to pay the fees that the newspapers were charging for their old comic strip reprints. So he got new comic material that wasn't being published in the newspapers. National Allied Publications Inc. published New Fun Comics in a much bigger 10" x 15" tabloid size. Which was closer to what the news paper comic section was. The cover was full color and was made out of stiff cardboard. Inside about half the book had color in it, but each strip was usually allowed one color only. It is also said that this title is the first to have advertisements inside, while selling on the newsstands. The strips inside were done by a mix of cartoonist veterans struggling during the depression or young cartoonists trying to break in. In fact, some of the new comic material was made by Wheeler-Nicholson himself. Some artists already had completed strips that the syndicates wouldn't take, and they were able to get some money for them by printing them here. Many were knock offs of popular newspaper strips. Out of all the strips only two had any lasting effect, those were Wing Brady and Barry O'Neill. The series would last 6 issues before the name would change to More Fun Comics, with issue #9 the format would change to a normal comic book size. Of those contributing strips to the issue would be Walt Kelly and Al Capp who later go on to have great success in the comic strip field. With the help of superheroes, this title would last 127 issues getting cancelled in November 1947. There was a brief time after issue #12 the book would start at #1 again with a volume 2. This last for 5 issues and then switched back to volume 1 returning with the original numbering with issue 18.
After New Fun Comics, another Major Malcolm Wheeler-Nicholson published another title. This was New Comics (December, 1935) and again it featured all new material. Among the artists who's work featured in here was Walt Kelly, Sheldon Mayer and Vincent Sullivan, all three would be important to the development of comics. The title would go through many name changes, turning into New Adventure Comics with issue #12, then to simply Adventure Comics with issue #32. Like New Fun, the title went through a period of volume 2 with new numbering starting with New Adventure Comics #1, then New Adventure Vol 3 #1 and stopping with Vol. 3 #2, before returning to #22 continuing it's original numbering run. This title with the help of many superhero features would last until 1983, ending with issue #503.
Lev Gleason would also get a comic strip Syndicate behind him and become the editor of Tip Top Comics #1 with all United Features syndicated comic strips. Under their umbrella was Tarzan, Li'l Abner, Broncho Bill, Captain and the Kids and other popular strips. Eventually Peanuts appeared in this series as well. This title also gave us the first published work of Harvey Kurtzman and Jack Davis, both would go on to make EC Comics very popular and successful. The series would also end up becoming one of the first comic book Trade Paper Back, with bound reprints of a number of issue being up for sale at the 1939 Worlds Fair. First set had issues 1-12, second 13-24, the third 25-36. This title would be published by both St. John Publishing and later Dell Publishing, stretching out and last 225 issues ending in 1961.
In February 1936 Chicago Tribune Syndicate teamed up with Max Gaines, his assistant Sheldon Mayer and George Delacorte (his third try at comic books) and created Popular Comics featuring a huge amount of well known characters. Among them, Dick Tracy, Terry & the Pirates, Gasoline Alley, Skippy, Mutt and Jeff, Tailspin Tommy, Little Orphan Annie and many more. The third and final try at comics would be what Delacourte needed to become a successful publisher, in fact Dell Publishing Co. would be one of the most successful comic publishers of all time. This title would last 145 issues and end in 1948.
In April of 1936, another major comic strip syndicate would jump in the comic book business. King Features created King Comics. David McKay was a publisher who had done some comic books through King Features, and he had the job of doing this one with the editor Ruth Plumly Thompson. In it Flash Gordon, Popeye, Mandrake the Magician would be among the popular strips to make their appearance in the first issue. Later on The Lone Ranger, The Phantom, Prince Valiant, Blondie and Little Lulu would be among the other popular strips to appear in the title. The comic would last 159 issues and end in 1952. Out of it would spring Standard Publishing a comic book company with many different titles.
A month later two men named William Cook and John Mahon published The Comics Magazine #1. Cook and Mahon were former disgruntled employees of National Allied Publications, owned by Major Malcolm Wheeler-Nicholson - the company that gets later renamed to DC Comics. Cook and Mahon would go on to form a publishing company called Comics Magazine Co. but the title changed and so did the ownership. Eventually it would be called Centaur Comics. The Comics Magazine #1 would feature a character and two creators that go on to become famous. Mr. Mystic was created and done by Siegel and Shuster, the two would go on to create Superman. Mr.Mystic was not in a costume in this issue, but the weird thing was the character would later appear in DC Comics More Fun #14, with the story (called "The Koth and the Seven") continuing on from one publishers book to the next. Another Siegel and Shuster character to appear in this title was Federal Agent, later renamed Federal Men when they also appeared in DC Comics. The Comics Magazine would change it's name to Funny Pages with issue #6. The series would feature a character named The Clock, who was the first masked hero in comics. The title would last until 1940 ending with issue #42.
By the end of the year, Centuar Publications would be the first to publish titles devoted to a single theme. They were Detective Picture Stories, Western Picture Stories, and Funny Picture Stories. Despite the title, Funny was about Adventure type stories. Detective Picture Stories would last 5 issues and they would include some work by creators who later become famous like Wil Eisner and Bob Kane. The title may have continued on with another name but the specifics are not known. Funny Picture Stories lasted almost as long, but they did 3 volumes, resetting the numbers back to #1 each time. The 1st went 9 issues, the 2nd went 11 issues (#6 being the first with the Centuar Comics name on it) and the 3rd lasted 3 issues before the title gets renamed to Comic Pages from #4 and up. This series also had work from people who later become famous, among them Charles Biro and Bob Wood best known for Crime Does Not Pay comic, and Fred Guardineer who did a lot of work for DC Comics. Lastly, Western Picture Stories lasted 4 issues. All with Wil Eisner work in them.
In March 1937, Detective Comics #1 came out. This comic was the first true DC comic book. This issue was the first production of two companies that formed the DC company. Comic producer Major Malcolm Wheeler wasn't making much money with his comic books (New Fun being one of them) and owed money to his printer and just about everybody else. Wheeler was forced to collaborated with his printer/distributor Harry Donenfeld to produce this book. Most of the stories in this issue are racist towards Chineese people and they are the villains in the majority of the tales. One such story titled "Claws of the Red Dragon" writen by Major Malcolm Wheeler. Another story of note in here is called Slam Bradley done by Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster. The character looks very similar to another they created. That being Superman. From the opening splash page to the different layouts to the tough guy hero saves the girls it's easy to see how there style paved the way for the typical comic hero story.
By 1938, Donenfeld, bought out Wheeler's other books to become the sole owner. He then took on a friend/accountant in his distribution business, Jack Liebowitz as a partner. The company was renamed National Periodical Publications. Liebowitz stayed at the offices and headed the accounting and creative part of DC, while Donnenfeld handled and expanded the distribution though his company Independent News Co.. Donnenfeld remained president of DC until his death in 1965. Liebowitz remained in DC until 1970 and later moved to the Board of Directors of the Warner Brothers company. He died in 2000. Detective Comics is the DC's longest running comic book title, this is due to another character who took over the about 2 years later.
Comics On Parade #1 by United Feature Syndicate. April 1938, goes to #104 1955. First issue featured Tarzan by Hal Foster, Captain and the Kids, Little Mary Mixup, Abbie & Slats, Ella Cinders, Broncho Bill, and Li'l Abner.
A few months later a new comic would come out that change the comic industry forever. Up until now, most comics were made for adult readers. This new comic showed that you can make a lot more money by marketing comics to kids.
| i don't know |
Which British playwright wrote Educating Rita, Blood Brothers and Shirley Valentine? | 'Blood Brothers' to open at Charter Arts High School - The Morning Call
'Blood Brothers' to open at Charter Arts High School
Aria Sivick, Robert Stinner, Kristina D'Amico play the three narrators in Blood Brothers
A musical that explores what happens when fraternal twins are separated at birth and raised in different social classes will be presented at Lehigh Valley Charter High School for the Arts in Bethlehem.
“Blood Brothers” by British playwright Willy Russell, who also wrote “Educating Rita” and “Shirley Valentine,” will be presented April 15-19 in the Charter Arts Black Box Theatre.
The musical is loosely based on the 1844 novella, “The Corsican Brothers.” Twins Mickey and Eddie are raised by different families — one upper class and one lower class. Eddie goes to college and becomes a lawyer while Mickey loses his job and eventually goes to prison. Both fall in love with the same woman, which leads to tragic results.
The production is directed and choreographed by Ashley Tait Weller and stars Albert Nelthropp as Mickey Johnstone and Brayden Nace as Edward Lyons, the separated twin. As their repsective mothers, Lynsey Jeffery is Mrs. Johnstone and Kara Snyder is Mrs. Lyons. Robert Stinner, Aria Sivick and Kristina D’Amico serve as narrator.
Musical Direction is by Lynn Flickinger and Neil Chaban, the 9-piece orchestra is conducted by Matt Wells, and technical direction and set design is by Peter Wrenn-Meleck.
The 1993 Broadway production received six Tony Award nominations, including for best musical, and has developed a cult following.
Popular songs from the show include “Tell Me It’s Not True” , “Easy Terms”, and “Marilyn Monroe.”
“Blood Brothers,” 7 p.m. April 15-18 and 2 p.m. April 19, Lehigh Valley Charter High School for the Arts, 675 E. Broad St., Bethlehem. Tickets: $15, adults; $10, students and seniors. www.charterarts.org.
| Willy Russell |
Who featured on Melanie C's number one single Never Be The Same Again in 2000, and died in a car accident in 2002? | Willy Russell
Willy Russell
Willy Russell is a celebrated playwright, screenwriter and television dramatist whose work includes: Educating Rita, Shirley Valentine, Our Day Out, One Summer and the musical Blood Brothers. His first success was a play about The Beatles called John, Paul, George, Ringo ... and Bert that was commissioned for the Everyman Theatre, Liverpool, before it transferred to the West End in London, in 1974. His play Educating Rita won the 1980 Laurence Olivier Award for Best New Comedy, and which he later adapted into a film starring Michael Caine and Julie Walters in 1983, and which was nominated for an Academy Award in 1984 for Best Adapted Screenplay.
Shirley Valentine, another of his plays, was also a success, winning a Laurence Olivier Award for Best New Comedy in 1988, and a Tony Award for Best Play in 1989. It was also adapted into a film by Russell, earning him an Evening Standard British Film Award for Best Screenplay in 1990, and a BAFTA nomination for Best Adapted Screenplay the same year.
His musical Blood Brothers debuted in 1983, winning the Laurence Olivier Award for Best New Musical that year, and the book of the musical won a Tony Award for Best Book of a Musical in 1993. A West End revival opened in 1988 and ran for more than 24 years and more than 10,000 performances, becoming the third longest-running musical production in West End history, and closing in November 2012. The musical has been produced with success on tour, on Broadway and elsewhere.
In 2009, Russell adapted his 1977 television play, Our Day Out, into a stage musical for which he wrote co-wrote the songs with director Bob Eaton.
Alongside with his playwriting career Russell has also been a songwriter and musician. He wrote the melodies and lyrics for the songs in Blood Brothers, and provided the scores for the films, Shirley Valentine, Dancin' Thru the Dark and Mr Love; and in 1985 co-wrote �The Show�, the theme song to the 1985 British drama television series Connie, which became a top 30 hit for vocalist Rebecca Storm.
His 2003 album, Hoovering the Moon, received favourable reviews and featured contributions from a range of musicians including: Andy Roberts, Herbie Flowers, Iain Mathews, Rohan Kriwaczek, Louis Borenius, Mark Griffiths, John McCusker, Dave Holdsworth, Andy Cutting, Tim Firth, Loretto Murray, Kate Rusby, Paul Allen, Bernard O'Neill, and Barbara Dickson who sings alongside Russell on it.
His first novel, The Wrong Boy, published in 2000, is written in epistolary form, where the main character a 19-year old boy from Manchester, tells the story of his life in letters to his hero Morrissey.
Q: Do you think of your lyrics as poetry?
A: No I think that poetry and lyric writing are quite different things, a poem being something complete in itself and a lyric is something which combines with a melody to form something that we know as song. I think I have some kind of understanding of what constitutes a lyric and how to go about creating one. In truth, though, I don't think I have the first idea about what it is that makes a poem. I've certainly written stand-alone verse�but that's how I'd describe it, verse, not poetry.
Q: Do you think it is important that songs rhyme and if so why?
A: I don't think it's important that all songs rhyme. It really depends on the kind of song you're making. There's certainly been a strong tradition of using highly sophisticated and elaborate rhyme in, say, the Broadway musical where the likes of Sondheim, Porter, Lerner, Hart et al have revelled in demonstrating the kind of dazzling brilliance of rhyme to an audience which appreciates and even expects this level of dextrous word play. If we look at opera, on the other hand, then it's noticeable that so little of it is written to rhyme�the reason largely being that unlike in the musical where even the most elaborate songs consist of repetitive bar songs, the music in opera rarely uses the kind of 16 or 32 bar repetition that is associated with rhyme.
In pop song, it's usually a given that there will be rhyme whether it's the tritest piece of bubble gum pop or hardcore gangster rap but there are those writers who explored the non-rhyming, blank verse form, notably Paul Simon (�America�), Bob Dylan (�A Hard Rain's a Gonna Fall�), Sting (�Fields of Gold�) etc.
Q: Do you think song lyrics must conform to recognised song structures such as clear rhyming schemes, choruses, refrains, hooks and bridges or that songs can also be like free verse?
A: As indicated in the previous answer, I don't think there are any rules that can't effectively be broken. The ultimate test of a song is whether it works or not. We all know examples of appalling songs that have been written with an adherence to a supposed set of rules and which end up being formulaic, unoriginal and, ultimately, unsuccessful in that they don't engage the heart and mind of the listener. I think that anyone, though, who practices a craft can only benefit from having some understanding of the elements of that craft. The difficulty is getting the balance right so that knowledge of song structure aids the imagination without impairing that imagination.
Q: When you read poetry in school or elsewhere did you recognize any connection to the music you enjoyed?
A: At Rainford County Secondary, in 1959, poetry was not a big feature. In the D stream�where I resided�subjects such as English Literature were not even on the curriculum. We thickos had to make do with woodwork, metalwork, PE, domestic science and gardening�yes, gardening! We did study English Language and one teacher, I recall, introduced us to Alfred Noyes's narrative ballad, �The Highwayman�, (later set to music by Phil Ochs). Although I loved �The Highwayman�, it wasn't something that related in any way to the music I was listening to at the time. Obviously, there were links between this first poem and, say, the narrative element in some of the Chuck Berry stuff to which I was addicted��Memphis Tennessee�, �Johnny B Goode� etc., but, Chuck Berry and Alfred Noyes seemed to me to be so culturally apart�ancient/contemporary, British/American, spoken/sung�that I was simply blind to any link.
Q: Was there anything about poetry in books that influenced your songwriting?
A: I only really came to poetry in my late teens and by that time I was already writing songs. As most of my songwriting was, broadly speaking, in the folk tradition, I tended to look towards more traditional verse as my example, and in this particular way I became very influenced for a while by the work of Robert Burns. I saw this form of poetry as being quite separate from the more contemporary poetry that I was now accessing, e.g., the Beats, the Liverpool poets, Christopher Logue, Dylan Thomas, Adrian Mitchell etc., etc. Had my songwriting not been in this folk tradition, then I may well have taken more inspiration and found more example from the work of such contemporary or near contemporary poets but, as it was, I seemed to read these writers with no idea of them affecting the kind of work I was trying to achieve.
Q: Why do you think songs are more popular with people than poetry is?
A: Melody. Music, the most visceral of all the arts, touches us in a way and at a level that nothing else can. Add to this, the fact that song has never been appropriated and canonised by a self-serving elite in the way that poetry has. Song still belongs to everyone and has no stigma of class or supposed intellectualism about it. Nobody is made afraid by a song.
| i don't know |
Who had a top ten hit in 1974 with Streets Of London? | The Greatest Hits - The 1974 UK Favorites
Paul Anka & Odia Coates - (You're) Having My Baby - 10-1974
Charles Aznavour - She - 06-1974
Bachman-Turner Overdrive - You Ain't Seen Nothin' Yet -12-1974
The Bay City Rollers - Remember (Sha-La-La) - 03-1974
The Bay City Rollers - Shang-A-Lang 05-1974
The Bay City Rollers - Summerlove Sensation - 08-1974
The Bay City Rollers - All Of Me Loves All Of You - 10-1974
Barry Blue - School Love - 03-1974
Marc Bolan & T. Rex - Teenage Dream - 02-1974
Ken Boothe - Everything I Own - 10-1974
David Bowie - Rebel Rebel - 02-1974
David Bowie - Knock On Wood - 10-1974
Johnny Bristol - Hang On In There Baby - 09-1974
The Carpenters - Jambalaya - 04-1974
David Cassidy - If I Didn't Care- 06-1974
The Chi-Lites - Homely Girl - 04-1974
The Chi-Lites - Too Good To Be Forgotten - 12-1974
Gigliola Cinquetti - Go (Beore You Break My Heart) - 06-1974
Eric Clapton - I Shot The Sheriff - 08-1974
Cockney Rebel - Judy Teen - 06-1974
Cockney Rebel - Mr. Soft - 08-1974
Alice Cooper - Teenage Lament '74 - 02-1974
Lynsey De Paul - No Honestly - 11-1974
Stephanie De Sykes - Born With A Smile On My Face - 07-1974
John Denver - Annie's Song - 09-1974
Disco Tex & The Sex-O-Lettes - Get Dancing - 12-1974
Carl Douglas - Kung Fu Fighting - 09-1974
The Drifters - Kissin' In The Back Row Of The Movies - 07-1974
The Drifters - Down On The Beach Tonight - 11-1974
Rupie Edwards - Ire Feelings (Skanga) - 12-1974
David Essex - Gonna Make You A Star - 10-1974
The Faces - Pool Hall Richard/I Wish It Would Rain - 01-1974
Andy Fairweather-Low - Reggae Tune - 10-1974
Bryan Ferry - The In Crowd - 06-1974
First Class - Beach Baby - 07-1974
Gary Glitter - Remember Me This Way - 04-1974
Gary Glitter - Always Yours - 06-1974
Gary Glitter - Oh Yes! You're Beautiful - 11-1974
The Glitter Band - Angel Face - 04-1974
The Glitter Band - Just For You - 08-1974
The Glitter Band - Let's Get Together Again - 11-1974
Golden Earring - Radar Love - 01-1974
The Goodies - The In Betweenies/Father Christmas Do Not Touch Me - 12-1974
Bill Haley & His Comets - Rock Around The Clock - 04-1974
Hello - Tell Him - 12-1974
The Hollies - The Air That I Breathe - 03-1974
Eddie Holman - (Hey There) Lonely Girl - 11-1974
Hot Chocolate - Emma - 03-1974
The Hues Corporation - Rock The Boat - 08-1974
Terry Jacks - Seasons In The Sun - 03-1974
Terry Jacks - If You Go Away - 07-1974
Elton John - Candle In The Wind - 03-1974
Elton John - Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds - 12-1974
KC & The Sunshine Band - Queen Of Clubs - 09-1974
Andy Kim - Rock Me Gently - 09-1974
Robert Knight - Love On A Mountain Top - 01-1974
Ronnie Lane - How Come - 02-1974
Limmie & The Family Cookin' - A Walkin' Miracle - 04-1974
Lobo - I'd Love You To Want Me - 06-1974
Love Unlimited Orchestra - Love's Theme - 03-1974
Lulu - The Man Who Sold The World - 02-1974
Paul McCartney & Wings - Jet - 03-1974
Paul McCartney & Wings - Band On The Run - 07-1974
George McCrae - Rock Your Baby - 07-1974
George McCrae - I Can't Leave You Alone - 10-1974
Ralph McTell - Streets Of London - 12-1974
Mouth & McNeal - I See A Star - 06-1974
Mud - Tiger Feet - 01-1974
Mud - The Cat Crept In - 04-1974
Mud - Rocket - 08-1974
Mud - Lonely This Christmas - 12-1974
Mungo Jerry - Long legged Woman Dressed In Black - 05-1974
The New Seekers - I Get A Little Sentimental Over You - 03-1974
Olivia Newton-John - Long Live Love - 04-1974
Doony & Marie Osmond - I'mLeaving It (All) Up To You - 08-1974
Little Jimmy Osmond - I'm Gonna Knock On Your Door - 04-1974
The Osmonds - I Can't Stop - 05-1974
The Osmonds - Love Me For A Reason - 08-1974
Paper Lace - Billy, Don't Be A Hero - 03-1974
Paper Lace - The Night Chicago Died - 05-1974
Paper Lace - The Black Eyed Boys - 09-1974
The Pearls - Guilty - 07-1974
The Peppers - Pepper Box - 11-1974
Peters & Lee -Don't Stay Away Too Long - 05-1974
Pilot - Magic - 11-1974
Cozy Powell - Dance With The Devil - 01-1974
Cozy Powell - Na Na Na - 09-1974
Elvis Presley - My Boy - 12-1974
Alan Price - Jarrow Song - 06-1974
Gary Puckett & The Union Gap - Young Girl - 07-1974
Suzi Quatro - Devil Gate Drive - 02-1974
Suzi Quatro - The Wild One - 11-1974
Queen - Seven Seas Of Rhye - 04-1974
Queen - Killer Queen - 11-1974
Charlie Rich - The Most Beautiful Girl - 04-1974
The Rolling Stones - It's Only Rock 'n Roll (But I Like It) - 08-1974
Diana Ross - All Of My Life - 02-1974
Diana Ross - You Are Everything - 04-1974
Diana Ross & The Supremes - Baby Love - 09-1974
Roxy Music - All I Want Is You - 11-1974
The Rubettes - Sugar Baby Love - 05-1974
The Rubettes - Tonight - 08-1974
The Rubettes - Juke Box Jive - 11-1974
Jimmy Ruffin - What Becomes Of The Brokenhearted - 08-1974
Leo Sayer - One Man Band - 06-1974
Leo Sayer - Long Tall Glasses - 09-1974
Scaffold - Liverpool Lou - 06-1974
Gary Shearston - I Get A Kick Out Of You - 10-1974
Peter Shelley - Gee Baby - 10-1974
Showaddywaddy - Hey Rock And Roll - 06-1974
Showaddywaddy - Rock 'n' Roll Lady - 09-1974
Slade - Everyday - 04-1974
Slade - Far Far Away - 10-1974
The Sparks - This Town Ain't Big Enough For Both Of Us - 05-1974
The Sparks - Amateur Hour - 08-1974
The Sparks - Never Turn Your Back On Mother Earth - 11-1974
Jim Stafford - Spiders & Snakes - 05-1974
Alvin Stardust - Jealous Mind - 02-1974
Alvin Stardust - Red Dress - 05-1974
Alvin Stardust - You You You - 09-1974
Freddie Starr - It's You - 03-1974
Ringo Starr - You're Sixteen - 03-1974
Status Quo - Break The Rules - 05-1974
Status Quo - Down Down - 12-1974
Ray Stevens - The Streak - 06-1974
Rod Stewart - Farewell/Bring It On Home To Me - 10-1974
Rod Stewart & The Faces - You Can Make Me Dance Sing Or Anything - 12-1974
The Stylistics - Rockin' Roll Baby - 02-1974
The Stylistics - You Make Me Feel Brand New - 08-1974
The Stylistics - Let's Put It All Together - 11-1974
Sunny - Doctor's Orders - 04-1974
The Sweet - Teenage Rampage - 01-1974
The Sweet - The Six Teens - 07-1974
Sweet Dreams - Honey Honey - 08-1974
Sweet Sensation - Sad Sweet Dreamer - 10-1974
Sylvia - Y Viva Espana - 09-1974
R. Dean Taylor - There's A Ghost In My House - 06-1974
10cc - Wall Street Shuffle - 07-1974
The Three Degrees - When Will I See You Again - 07-1974
Barry White - Never, Never Gonna Give Ya Up - 03-1974
Barry White - Can't Get Enough Of Your Love, Babe - 09-1974
Barry White - You're The First, The Last, My Everything - 11-1974
Andy Williams - Solitaire - 01-1974
Wizzard - Rock'n' Roll Winter - 05-1974
The Wombles - The Wombling Song - 02-1974
The Wombles - Remember You're A Womble - 04-1974
The Wombles - Banana Rock - 07-1974
The Wombles - Wombling Merry Christmas - 12-1974
Stevie Wonder - He's Misstra Know It All - 05-1974
Roy Wood - Going Down The Road - 07-1974
Lena Zavaroni - Ma He's Making Eyes At Me - 03-1974
| Ralph McTell |
Which author wrote Patriot Games, Clear And Present Danger and The Hunt For Red October? | The Greatest Hits - The 1974 UK Favorites
Paul Anka & Odia Coates - (You're) Having My Baby - 10-1974
Charles Aznavour - She - 06-1974
Bachman-Turner Overdrive - You Ain't Seen Nothin' Yet -12-1974
The Bay City Rollers - Remember (Sha-La-La) - 03-1974
The Bay City Rollers - Shang-A-Lang 05-1974
The Bay City Rollers - Summerlove Sensation - 08-1974
The Bay City Rollers - All Of Me Loves All Of You - 10-1974
Barry Blue - School Love - 03-1974
Marc Bolan & T. Rex - Teenage Dream - 02-1974
Ken Boothe - Everything I Own - 10-1974
David Bowie - Rebel Rebel - 02-1974
David Bowie - Knock On Wood - 10-1974
Johnny Bristol - Hang On In There Baby - 09-1974
The Carpenters - Jambalaya - 04-1974
David Cassidy - If I Didn't Care- 06-1974
The Chi-Lites - Homely Girl - 04-1974
The Chi-Lites - Too Good To Be Forgotten - 12-1974
Gigliola Cinquetti - Go (Beore You Break My Heart) - 06-1974
Eric Clapton - I Shot The Sheriff - 08-1974
Cockney Rebel - Judy Teen - 06-1974
Cockney Rebel - Mr. Soft - 08-1974
Alice Cooper - Teenage Lament '74 - 02-1974
Lynsey De Paul - No Honestly - 11-1974
Stephanie De Sykes - Born With A Smile On My Face - 07-1974
John Denver - Annie's Song - 09-1974
Disco Tex & The Sex-O-Lettes - Get Dancing - 12-1974
Carl Douglas - Kung Fu Fighting - 09-1974
The Drifters - Kissin' In The Back Row Of The Movies - 07-1974
The Drifters - Down On The Beach Tonight - 11-1974
Rupie Edwards - Ire Feelings (Skanga) - 12-1974
David Essex - Gonna Make You A Star - 10-1974
The Faces - Pool Hall Richard/I Wish It Would Rain - 01-1974
Andy Fairweather-Low - Reggae Tune - 10-1974
Bryan Ferry - The In Crowd - 06-1974
First Class - Beach Baby - 07-1974
Gary Glitter - Remember Me This Way - 04-1974
Gary Glitter - Always Yours - 06-1974
Gary Glitter - Oh Yes! You're Beautiful - 11-1974
The Glitter Band - Angel Face - 04-1974
The Glitter Band - Just For You - 08-1974
The Glitter Band - Let's Get Together Again - 11-1974
Golden Earring - Radar Love - 01-1974
The Goodies - The In Betweenies/Father Christmas Do Not Touch Me - 12-1974
Bill Haley & His Comets - Rock Around The Clock - 04-1974
Hello - Tell Him - 12-1974
The Hollies - The Air That I Breathe - 03-1974
Eddie Holman - (Hey There) Lonely Girl - 11-1974
Hot Chocolate - Emma - 03-1974
The Hues Corporation - Rock The Boat - 08-1974
Terry Jacks - Seasons In The Sun - 03-1974
Terry Jacks - If You Go Away - 07-1974
Elton John - Candle In The Wind - 03-1974
Elton John - Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds - 12-1974
KC & The Sunshine Band - Queen Of Clubs - 09-1974
Andy Kim - Rock Me Gently - 09-1974
Robert Knight - Love On A Mountain Top - 01-1974
Ronnie Lane - How Come - 02-1974
Limmie & The Family Cookin' - A Walkin' Miracle - 04-1974
Lobo - I'd Love You To Want Me - 06-1974
Love Unlimited Orchestra - Love's Theme - 03-1974
Lulu - The Man Who Sold The World - 02-1974
Paul McCartney & Wings - Jet - 03-1974
Paul McCartney & Wings - Band On The Run - 07-1974
George McCrae - Rock Your Baby - 07-1974
George McCrae - I Can't Leave You Alone - 10-1974
Ralph McTell - Streets Of London - 12-1974
Mouth & McNeal - I See A Star - 06-1974
Mud - Tiger Feet - 01-1974
Mud - The Cat Crept In - 04-1974
Mud - Rocket - 08-1974
Mud - Lonely This Christmas - 12-1974
Mungo Jerry - Long legged Woman Dressed In Black - 05-1974
The New Seekers - I Get A Little Sentimental Over You - 03-1974
Olivia Newton-John - Long Live Love - 04-1974
Doony & Marie Osmond - I'mLeaving It (All) Up To You - 08-1974
Little Jimmy Osmond - I'm Gonna Knock On Your Door - 04-1974
The Osmonds - I Can't Stop - 05-1974
The Osmonds - Love Me For A Reason - 08-1974
Paper Lace - Billy, Don't Be A Hero - 03-1974
Paper Lace - The Night Chicago Died - 05-1974
Paper Lace - The Black Eyed Boys - 09-1974
The Pearls - Guilty - 07-1974
The Peppers - Pepper Box - 11-1974
Peters & Lee -Don't Stay Away Too Long - 05-1974
Pilot - Magic - 11-1974
Cozy Powell - Dance With The Devil - 01-1974
Cozy Powell - Na Na Na - 09-1974
Elvis Presley - My Boy - 12-1974
Alan Price - Jarrow Song - 06-1974
Gary Puckett & The Union Gap - Young Girl - 07-1974
Suzi Quatro - Devil Gate Drive - 02-1974
Suzi Quatro - The Wild One - 11-1974
Queen - Seven Seas Of Rhye - 04-1974
Queen - Killer Queen - 11-1974
Charlie Rich - The Most Beautiful Girl - 04-1974
The Rolling Stones - It's Only Rock 'n Roll (But I Like It) - 08-1974
Diana Ross - All Of My Life - 02-1974
Diana Ross - You Are Everything - 04-1974
Diana Ross & The Supremes - Baby Love - 09-1974
Roxy Music - All I Want Is You - 11-1974
The Rubettes - Sugar Baby Love - 05-1974
The Rubettes - Tonight - 08-1974
The Rubettes - Juke Box Jive - 11-1974
Jimmy Ruffin - What Becomes Of The Brokenhearted - 08-1974
Leo Sayer - One Man Band - 06-1974
Leo Sayer - Long Tall Glasses - 09-1974
Scaffold - Liverpool Lou - 06-1974
Gary Shearston - I Get A Kick Out Of You - 10-1974
Peter Shelley - Gee Baby - 10-1974
Showaddywaddy - Hey Rock And Roll - 06-1974
Showaddywaddy - Rock 'n' Roll Lady - 09-1974
Slade - Everyday - 04-1974
Slade - Far Far Away - 10-1974
The Sparks - This Town Ain't Big Enough For Both Of Us - 05-1974
The Sparks - Amateur Hour - 08-1974
The Sparks - Never Turn Your Back On Mother Earth - 11-1974
Jim Stafford - Spiders & Snakes - 05-1974
Alvin Stardust - Jealous Mind - 02-1974
Alvin Stardust - Red Dress - 05-1974
Alvin Stardust - You You You - 09-1974
Freddie Starr - It's You - 03-1974
Ringo Starr - You're Sixteen - 03-1974
Status Quo - Break The Rules - 05-1974
Status Quo - Down Down - 12-1974
Ray Stevens - The Streak - 06-1974
Rod Stewart - Farewell/Bring It On Home To Me - 10-1974
Rod Stewart & The Faces - You Can Make Me Dance Sing Or Anything - 12-1974
The Stylistics - Rockin' Roll Baby - 02-1974
The Stylistics - You Make Me Feel Brand New - 08-1974
The Stylistics - Let's Put It All Together - 11-1974
Sunny - Doctor's Orders - 04-1974
The Sweet - Teenage Rampage - 01-1974
The Sweet - The Six Teens - 07-1974
Sweet Dreams - Honey Honey - 08-1974
Sweet Sensation - Sad Sweet Dreamer - 10-1974
Sylvia - Y Viva Espana - 09-1974
R. Dean Taylor - There's A Ghost In My House - 06-1974
10cc - Wall Street Shuffle - 07-1974
The Three Degrees - When Will I See You Again - 07-1974
Barry White - Never, Never Gonna Give Ya Up - 03-1974
Barry White - Can't Get Enough Of Your Love, Babe - 09-1974
Barry White - You're The First, The Last, My Everything - 11-1974
Andy Williams - Solitaire - 01-1974
Wizzard - Rock'n' Roll Winter - 05-1974
The Wombles - The Wombling Song - 02-1974
The Wombles - Remember You're A Womble - 04-1974
The Wombles - Banana Rock - 07-1974
The Wombles - Wombling Merry Christmas - 12-1974
Stevie Wonder - He's Misstra Know It All - 05-1974
Roy Wood - Going Down The Road - 07-1974
Lena Zavaroni - Ma He's Making Eyes At Me - 03-1974
| i don't know |
Which song includes the lyrics I laughed at all of your jokes, my love you didn't need to coax? | Did You Write The Book Of Love?
Did You Write The Book Of Love?
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
AS OF DEC. 20, 2009
The Book Of Love
By Mikel K
"It's always hard to break in, but talent will find a home."--The Ethan Ellenberg Literary Agency
In this book, the author comes across as a cross between David Sedaris,
Donald Miller, and Augusten Burroughs…that's what the author thinks, anyway.
“We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.”
—Fredrick Koeing
I lay down to nap, just now, but couldn't sleep, so I set my cell phone for a fifteen minute meditation period. I had mixed luck with that, because my cat, Kobain, parked his body on my chest, and his head in my hand, demanding to be scratched, and rubbed. Then I did something new: I set the alarm for a seven minute pray. I prayed for everyone who I could think of, and about all the things that I could think of that might need praying for: this went better than the meditation. Kobain, I guess, doesn't mind me praying because he got off my chest and lay down next to me while I prayed.
There are certain songs that I can listen to over, and over, and not get tired of them. "Green Grass and High Tides," by The Outlaws is one of those songs, and so is, "American Girl," by Tom Petty. The lyrics in both songs make a great deal of sense to me, and the music drives me into a very enjoyable manic frenzy. A great song can make it seem as if life is treating you well, even if it isn't. A great song, for me, is better than taking a hit of anything, or a drink.
Nobody has heard of me, but you will soon come to love me, at least that is my hope: my name is Mikel K, and I hope that you enjoy my stories.
"Though seeing, they do not see though hearing, they do not hear or understand."
--Matthew 13:30
The fact that you don't have cable means you don't really care.
And frankly, I can't blame you.
--Mary Franklin
This is the beginning, but I will tell you, right now, that this book ends with, "The End…" How very clever.
Senorita: I read your poetry in notes, last night; printed it, and I think I enjoy it so much I am going to add it into my journal. You've got a groupie! You love words, don't you?
Mikel K: I love where I have landed. I come from drunk tanks, and mental institutions, bar room brawls, and the back seat of police cars.
Senorita: And you are where you should be.
Mikel K: Yup, yup.
"Lately it occurs to me what a long strange trip it's been."
--The Grateful Dead
This book is mostly the truth, as I remember it. There are a few places where I stretch the truth, or out right lie, to cover someone's buttocks, often mine, or because I simply can't remember what really happened.
Some of the characters
Morisson:
The runaway dog who ran to me, and, finally, stayed: part lab, part we have never been able to figure out what; all love.
I have had people tell me that their dog is, "the best dog in the world," but, trust me, Morisson would give any dog on the planet a run for their money, and then run off with their money, and bring it to me. He is that good of a dog.
Morisson is ALWAYS there with a hug for me or you. The only flaw that Morisson has, if it is a flaw, is that he lives in complete fear of storms: thunder and lightening make him shake, and beg for entrance into my bed, where he is not allowed.
To see if I violate my own policy for him, in a storm, read on.
Jaggar:
Jaggar is my black cat. Someone found Jaggar in a fast food restaurant parking lot, when he was a very small kitten, with his chest caved in. His mother was lying near him, dead: she had been run over by the same car that caved in Jaggar's chest. I guess that getting that burger, and French fries, had been very important to someone.
Jaggar was rushed to the vet, where I was taking my dogs, and cats, at the time. Different members of the staff, who were nursing Jaggar back to health, would bring him out, and show him to me. Sometimes, he would be licking a syringe, as if it were his mothers breast.
I started to fall in love with Jaggar, and anticipated visiting with him, when I would be going in with one of my dogs or cats. I didn't realize it, at the time, but I think that the vet staff was grooming me to be Jaggar's daddy, because when he became well enough to leave the vet's office, it was in my hands.
Jaggar was the cutest little kitty, but he was always an aloof kitten. He didn't play like normal kittens did, and he grew up to be an aloof cat who doesn't play like other cats play. Jaggar has his own set of rules and regulations for how you can interact with him. He will rub up against your leg to show you love, but don't even try petting him because he won't let you. I think that the way that he was raised made him a little anti-social, a little bit detached. I don't care about all of that; I love him anyway.
Bundy:
Was a hand me down, who was handed down, again, to me. He was the worse behaved dog that I had ever seen. He jumped on furniture, he barked all the time, he tried to make your love and affection exclusively his, pushing Morisson out of the way to get to your hand. He acted like he thought that he was the Alpha dog, and that his existence was the only one that mattered. He stole food from Morisson. Walking him was murder on the arm because he would pull you like you were being lead by a cement mixing truck.
I thought about finding "a good home" for Bundy a bunch of times, but I never actually tried to. Instead I kept working with him, working on him, teaching him how to walk on a leash, telling him to stay off furniture, barking at him so he wouldn't bark all the time, and you know what: Bundy turned out to be a great dog, not perfect, but great. He is half Rotweiller, half lab and the rottie half makes him a good guard dog. I am not sure, but I would bet that Bundy would attack someone who broke into this place while I am gone, and I think that that is a good thing.
Prynce and RuPaul:
My turtles Prynce the man, and Rue Paul the girl (of course). They don't say much, but they speak to me in volumes. I have watched them for endless hours, as they kiss, bite, lay on each other, fight for food, get along side by side eating food, swimming, and sunning themselves on their rock underneath their heat lamp. I cracked the glass to their tank today as I was cleaning it; ouch!
Kobain:
Kobain is this big, and beautiful, long haired, grey cat that was dropped off by somebody on my veterinarian's porch. People do that fairly often with animals: just drop them off at the vet's house, when he isn't looking, because they don't want them anymore, or can't take care of them.
My precious cat, Madonna, had been run over, and killed, in the parking lot in front of my apartment. She had gotten angry that my son had brought home another cat, and was staying out more and more. I was really close to Madonna, and it hurt me that she was killed, so I stayed away from cats until I was emotionally ready to enter into a relationship with another one.
There were two cats in cages at my vet's office that they were trying to find homes for: one was this killer calico with orange and white spots, who was my choice, and the other was Kobain, who my daughter chose. I had told my daughter that she could pick the cat that we would bring home, and boy did she pick correctly.
At first, Kobain was very anti-social, staying to himself like you might imagine that a cat who had been dumped onto somebody's porch in the middle of the night might do. I don't remember when he started to open up to me, but I do know that now, today, the minute that I lay down in the bed, Kobain crawls onto my chest, and digs his head into my hand, demanding to be scratched, and rubbed.
Scout: my daughter.
Kevin: my daughter's biological father.
I hate the words, "step, or half;" they have such evil connotations, and, besides, I am not stepping anywhere, and I certainly am not a half-ass father figure. I love Scout,
and I treat her just like the one bio boy that I have.
Graem: Bio Boy
William: "Mine," since I bought him a six pack of sprite when he was five; he is now 28. My joke with William is that I am still buying him sprite. It's not true, though. William is married to a wonderful lady and has a boy of his own now.
G2: The Boss. Even though we never married, we have had a 22 year love affair, which has included many, many moments of discord. Overall, we were great co-parents, even though we didn't do it the way that The Pope tells people to; it's not all, "Leave it to Beaver," baby.
Mikel,
What a lovely gift you give to one from your heart, with words that find meaning in all that is mundane; or, is it all that is surreal, and tainted, with moments of glory?
You are a poet of the highest standard.
It flows from you like lava from the ancient mountain that waits its turn to rise, and rejuvenate. It is frightening, exhilarating, and reminds us of our ultimate pettiness, lowliness and the creatures that we are.
Though I do not know this man for whom you dedicate your time and talent, however, I am touched by your generosity of spirit and the words that wrap your gifts with golden ribbon.
--Cathy J.
Dear Face Book:
I've learned that I don't have to be in the clean plate club, that I can scrape the food that I don't want onto the floor, and the dogs will be happy to have it. Javi, who has been a part of our family for 12 plus years now, may be at the end of his journey. This will be the first dog that I've been a part of who I will see die. I'm not any good at death.
--Mikel K Poet
I am reading your poem--Snezana, from Serbia
Did You Write The Book Of Love
by Mikel K
1. The day the music died
I like pie, but I especially like American Pie.
I wrote the book of love, but no one bought it, so, now, I am going to write quite a different book. I will tell you all about this book, but first there are more important things to cover, like the fact that I am still single at age 52.
I'm not very good looking, and I have never been very good looking. I don't know why I am telling you this. I guess that it is, somehow important to the story. I must not be ugly to all people, though, I do have children, and, I guess, if that woman, who I had the kids with, had thought that I was ugly, she wouldn't have had kids with me, although we both were drinking a lot at the time she got pregnant.
If it wasn't for booze, I might not be a father. It's sad to think that this woman maybe had to get drunk to have sex with me, but that is just how it goes, sometimes. You have got to take things as they come, and find gratitude where you can, is what I have come to learn. You might not always get what you want, but you will usually get what you need. Who said that before I did?
In Jr. High School, I got a couple of votes for most winning smile in the school year book. I didn't win. I may have had the best smile, but I wasn't the most popular kid. In Jr. High School you have to be popular to win any of those things in the yearbook. I've always had a good smile, though I haven't always had a lot to smile about.
"A long, long time ago...
I can still remember
How that music used to make me smile."
Up north, where we lived at the time, on Sunday nights, my parents thought that I was asleep, getting rested up for school in the morning, but, really, I was hiding under the covers, and I had the dial turned up on this ten dollar radio, that I had bought from a department store, to "Casey Kasem's American Top 40."
I heard some incredible songs on that show; some of my favorites went all the way to number one, which, being the competitive kind of kid that I was, at that time, made me happy. I'm a big music freak, till this day, and Casey was my gateway drug to getting high just listening to bands play.
Maggie May," by Rod Stewart. "Joy To The World," by Three Dog Night, were two of the great number ones, that Kasey played for me, but there was one number one that blew them all away.
"Here we go with the Top 40 hits of the nation this week on American Top 40, the best-selling and most-played songs from the Atlantic to the Pacific from Canada to Mexico. This is Casey Kasem in Hollywood, and in the next three hours, we'll count down the 40 most popular hits in the United States this week, hot off the record charts of Billboard magazine for the week ending July 11, 1970. In this hour at #32 in the countdown, a song that's been a hit 4 different times in 19 years! And we're just one tune away from the singer with the $10,000 gold hubcaps on his car! Now, on with the countdown!"
— Casey Kasem at the beginning of the inaugural AT40 broadcast
Source: Wikipedia
"And I knew if I had my chance
That I could make those people dance
And, maybe, they'd be happy for a while."
It must be nice to write a song like that, to say that you are going to make people dance, and to then go out and do it. They danced in 1971 to "American Pie," by Don McLean, and they are still dancing to it, now. What is the significance of the lyrics, McLean, was asked(many times actually.)
"The significance is that I'll never have to have a job, again," said McLean, with a big smile on his face.
That is a hell of a song, don't you think?!!"
"But February made me shiver
With every paper I'd deliver.
Bad news on the doorstep;
I couldn't take one more step."
I delivered newspapers, when I was a kid, also, but I never learned to play guitar. My parents put me in piano lessons, with a kid who could play, who lived down the street from where we lived at the time, but I talked my way out of the lessons, preferring, instead, to play Cowboys and Indians in the front yard.
I really wish that my parents had not let me talk them out of piano lessons. Every time that I hear the introduction to the song, "Imagine," by John Lennon, I cringe, nearly crying, wishing that I could play piano.
What good did playing Cowboys and Indians do for me?
"I can't remember if I cried
When I read about his widowed bride,
But something touched me deep inside
The day the music died."
The first two lines have to be about the assassination of President John F. Kennedy; don't they? Friday, November 22, 1963. I was six years old. I can barely remember that day. It lives forever in this song, though.
"The day the music died?"
Buddy Holly went down to his death in a small plane, and he didn't go down alone. With him went Ritchie Valens, J.P. "Big Bopper" Richardson and the pilot of the plane, Roger Peterson. That is what Mr. McLean was supposedly writing about, in this part of the song. Mr. McClean is a wise man, though. He calls the song, "poetry" and refuses to speak for it, saying that it should, and does, speak for itself. You can burn an audience out by thinking for them.
That's enough of that, really. I was going to present the whole, "American Pie," song to you, in the manner that I just presented what I presented, but I don't see the purpose to it, really. Don McLean wrote a great song. He wrote a song so great that it took care of him for the rest of his life. The trouble about writing such a great song, I would think, is that it is impossible to ever again write such a great song. That song represents the pinnacle in his career. It is, basically, the only song of his that we are familiar with. And oh how familiar with it we are: most of us can sing it line for line; most of us that is that came of age in 1971.
“I have never said a bad thing about the song, I was poor when I wrote it, and it made me a millionaire overnight. Believe me, I’m not upset about this song.” –Don McLean, 2000
2.
My favorite food is probably sushi; then, I like eggs best. I'm really fond of onions, and chocolate, but not together, of course. I'm big on coffee with Stevia and half n half, and hot tea with milk. I don't know why I'm telling you this. Maybe, one day, you will take me out to dinner, or lunch, and you will know what I like.
3.
She said that you kiss funny
Dear God:
I have destroyed another day. It was an immaculate day. I enjoyed every breath that I inhaled in this day. What a gift to be alive, and breathing. I feel more alive than when I was young. I think that I have learned a thing or two in this existence. I walk down bright paths, these days, not cloudy ones.
I was in ninth grade when that song that I just said that I was going to quit talking about came out. I was a skinny kid; my teachers thought that I was smart, and the basketball coach thought I was pure. He was wrong, he soon found out. I was pure as long as I was getting what I wanted, as long as things were going my way, as long as they were giving me the ball, and letting me shoot, shoot, shoot.
I was a gunner. I thought that I was Pete Maravich, but I wasn't. I wound up being the leading scorer on a Jr. High School Basketball Team that won one game all season. That really sucked. The aim of scoring points, I later learned, is so that your team wins. My goal was for me to win, i.e. score more points than anyone else. What would have been nice would have been for us to have won our games, with me leading in the scoring dept. I learned, later, that that is how it is supposed to be done. I was a very me, me, me person in those days.
4.
Dear God:
I am alive to see another new day; what a blessing. All things are possible while I have the gift of life. I may scale a skyscraper. I may write a poem, or two, recognized as good as one by Walt Whitman, Robert Frost, or Charles Bukowski. Wouldn't that not be nice? I will be kind to a stray cat. I will smile at the homeless the same as I do the regular folk, for are we not all equal, do we not all deserve a smile?
The next year, in high school, the year after American Pie, came into our consciousness, I made the tennis team.
Wake up Maggie
I think I got something to say to you;
it's late September and I really should be back at school.
I know I keep you amused
but I feel I'm being used
"Maggie May," by Rod Stewart was another song that electrified me; though I was careful to not let my parents catch me listening to music on Sunday nights beneath my covers, as I have told you, but I am sure that I had to turn the volume knob up at least a little bit when this song came on as number one on Casey's Countdown.
Who doesn't relate to being used? I was in Jr. High School then, and I felt used by my parents, and by most all of the other kids who surrounded me in school. Nobody understood me, and it seemed like nobody could stand me. My parents were constantly berating me about grades, and behavior. The other kids either ignored me, or made fun of me for how I dressed, or how I played basketball. The song, "Maggie Mae," helped me rebel a little bit. It was kind of an angry song, and I was kind of an angry kid.
When I got to high school, like I told you, I made the tennis team. I was really happy about this, and proud of it, also. I did so well on the team, that by eleventh grade, the coach was saying that I was going to be tapped as one of the Captains of the team in my senior year, and from the way I was playing the game, it looked as if I would either be the number one or the number two player.
And then…my first high school dance.
I had started drinking beer, a bit, with some kids who I loosely hung around with, on the weekends, and me and this group were running late for our first high school dance, and this one kid told me that I should buy blackberry brandy, instead of beer, that it got you drunk faster, tasted sweet, and went down easy. So I begged some older guy who was going into the liquor store to buy me a pint of it, and, when we got to the woods leading to the school, I chugged it.
The next thing I knew I was in the bathroom at the high school, puking my life out into the toilet. Someone pushed at the door, and I'm sure that I pushed it back. The story came out, later, that I hit the principal. I can't imagine that; I think that this is an exaggeration by a fellow, or two, who was and were not operating in my best interest.
oh
I couldn't have tried anymore.
You lured me away from home
just to save you from being alone.
You stole my heart and that's what really hurts.
The morning sun
when it's in your face
really shows your age
The whole blackberry brandy incident went down because I was a shy kid. I wanted to fortify myself with some liquid courage for the dance, but I went over the line; way over the line. I got thrown off the tennis team. I would not be a Co-Captain, I would not be a number one or number two player. All that I had worked so hard for for years had gone up in smoke in the time that it took me to chug that lousy bottle of booze. I went from an unknown in The Principal's Office to public enemy number one. I sat in that office for weeks.
but that don't worry me none
in my eyes you're everything.
I laughed at all of your jokes
my love you didn't need to coax
oh
I couldn't have tried anymore.
You lured me away from home
just to save you from being alone.
You stole my soul
that's a pain I can do without.
All I needed was a friend to lend a guiding hand
I was really wanting to get to know girls, at this point in my studies, but I didn't know how to. My tongue tied itself whenever I got around a woman who I was interested in. I could relate, somehow, to what Rod Stewart was singing about in Maggie Mae. I was frustrated with a woman, too, only I didn't know who she was. I was frustrated because she had not appeared, and entered into my life.
but you turned into a lover
and
All you did was wreck my bed
and in the morning kick me in the head
There was no Maggie Mae in my life, wrecking my bed, or kicking me in the head. I might have welcomed this. I probably would have been happy with just about any female interaction. Maybe I would have met a girl at the school dance, but instead I puked in the bathroom, and got thrown off the tennis team. Life throws you, or, at least, life has thrown me some strange curve balls from time to time. Most of those times have been when I have been drinking. (Fastballs to the forehead, is more like it, now that I think about it.)
*******
The tea is hot. It hits the back of my throat with a feel good mentality. I haven't had a liquor drink in seventeen years, which is a sign of how old I am. I quit drinking when I was 34. I had to. I hit my bottom, as "they" say. I can't tell you who "they" are because at the level of press, radio and film, you are supposed to be quiet about your involvement in it, so that you don't ruin it for someone else, if you relapse. I wouldn't want to ruin it for someone else; the thing saved my life, it changed my life.
I had a kid around that time, which also contributed to my being able to quit. I loved that kid, and I knew that I wasn't doing him much good as I ran around being a Poet Rock Star Wanna Be stoned on booze all the time.
I wanted to be on the cover of The Stoned Roller, with millions of people loving me, and buying my books, and spoken word cds, but it wasn't happening, and the kid was growing up fast, so I traded in my place as a Drunk Poet for a spot as a Sober Father in the Little League Bleachers watching my son grow up as he ran the bases.
My song then became Cat's In The Cradle by Harry Chapin:
"My child arrived just the other day
He came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away
And he was talkin' 'fore I knew it, and as he grew
He'd say "I'm gonna be like you dad
You know I'm gonna be like you."
I did not want to be the man in the song. I wanted to be there for my son. For the first three years of his life, though I had been mostly physically present, I had been mentally absent from his life. My time was spent with the bottle. The bottle is a vicious thief: it steals time from you, it steals precious time that should be spent with your child.
"I'm gonna be like you dad, you know I'm gonna be like you."
I did not want my son to be like me, so I had to change. And the change that I had to effect was to get rid of the bottle; and I did. I did get ride of the bottle. I went from being a boozer in the music clubs to a hands-on, fully present father. I can not tell you how good that that made me feel about me. I did not feel good being a drunk. It was not something that I was proud of. I was proud of being a father.
"And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home dad?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then."
I'm home son, and I am staying home son. I am here for you, and I will always be here for you. Let someone else get the cover of, "The Stoned Roller." I have found something more important than money, and fame. I have found a love for my son.
"My son turned ten just the other day
He said, "Thanks for the ball, Dad, come on let's play
Can you teach me to throw", I said "Not today
I got a lot to do", he said, "That's ok"
And he walked away but his smile never dimmed
And said, "I'm gonna be like him, yeah
You know I'm gonna be like him."
I threw the ball with my son. And I hit him grounders; endless grounders. I hit my son so many grounders that, at age 12 he wound up being part of a baseball team that won a State Championship. Man those kids were good.
Man, my son was good; and I played a part in that: endless hours at the baseball field hitting pop ups to my son, endless pop ups, and you know what? I enjoyed every minute of it. I was a musician, a spoken word poet, and I thought that I would never return to the baseball field that I had spent a couple seasons on as a kid, but there I was, back on the baseball field, and all because of the love that I had for my son. I was doing it for him. I would do anything for him. Having a son was the first time in my life that I became selfless, that I actually cared about something more than I did myself. It was an exhilarating feeling, to get out of me, and to get into him.
"And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home dad?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then."
I had given up the bottle. I had come home to be with my son. I did have a good time in doing such. I had a great time; I had the time of my life. There is nothing as rewarding, there is nothing that is as much fun as being a father; nothing. I love my son, and I love being a father.
Well, he came home from college just the other day
So much like a man I just had to say
"Son, I'm proud of you, can you sit for a while?"
He shook his head and said with a smile
"What I'd really like, Dad, is to borrow the car keys
See you later, can I have them please?"
My son got into college; he got into two of the best Art Schools in the country, but he didn't want to owe Two Hundred Thousand Dollars for an Art Degree, which I thought was pretty dang smart of him. I don't have a car, so he can't borrow the car keys. I am proud of him, very proud of him. He has turned out to be a brilliant young man. He works as a mechanic, which I think is a great thing to be, because a trade such as being an auto mechanic is something that they can't take away from you. As long as there are cars, my son will have a job. As long as I can breath the air, I will love my son. If I had a car, I might well let my son borrow it.
I might not also.
"Riders On The Storm," is my favorite song by The Doors, and The Doors are either my number one, or number two favorite band, depending on how I am feeling at the time that I am listening to music. I'll tell you, later, who the other act is that occupies my one-or-two slot.
Riders on the storm
Into this house were born
Into this world were thrown
Like a dog without a bone
An actor out on loan
Riders on the storm
"Into this world we were thrown": most definitely. "Like a dog without a bone…" what a great way to put it. We come into this existence with nothing, completely dependent on whoever happens to be around us, like "an actor out on loan."
We have nothing, we are nothing. We may wind up being nothing, having nothing. Who knows what fate has in store for us. Some of us are born into great wealth, and will not much have to worry about paying rent, or buying groceries. We will drive nice cars, and go to good colleges simply by the luck of the draw, and some of us will struggle, financially, all our life.
And who picks who will wind up where and why: an omnipotent supreme being, a roll of the dice? Who knows? We may never know, even when we have passed. Such a great mystery: who controls our destiny, who controls whether we will be born into opulence, or poverty.
Theres a killer on the road
His brain is squirmin like a toad
Take a long holiday
If ya give this man a ride
Sweet memory will die
Killer on the road, yeah
Ted Bundy killed a friend of mine, when I was in college. I was the second to last person to see her alive. I was the second door knocked on in the Police Investigation into her death, the morning after she was killed. Her name was Margaret Bowman. She was a Chi Omega. I knew her from Student Government. The night before she was killed, she had a date with a guy who lived across the hall from me in the frat house that he and I lived in. He didn't have a car, so I dropped him at the front of the Chi O house so that Margaret could drive him and her to this wine and cheese party that us frat boys were having. Then I went and got my date. The four of us sat around and got stupid on wine, mostly ignoring, I'm sure, the cheese. When the party was over, my frat bro tried to get Margaret to come back to his water bed, but she said no, and went back to the Chi O house, and got killed by Ted Bundy instead.
Tallahassee, Florida was one weird; and scared place after that asshole killed Margaret and her sorority sisters that night. I had a guy sleep on my floor for like a month because he was scared shitless; nobody knew what had hit us, nobody knew if it was going to hit us again.
I saw Bundy on tv, year later, and he looked into the camera and said, "I was unable to stop myself. Society has to stop people like me." No shit. I was glad when they fried that bastard, all arguments about the fairness of the death penalty aside.
Girl ya gotta love your man
Girl ya gotta love your man
Take him by the hand
Make him understand
The world on you depends
Our life will never end
Gotta love your man, yeah
I fell in "love" with a girl the summer after I graduated from high school. She wound up breaking my heart. I have had my heart broken a bunch of times; in fact it seems like I am always getting my heart broken. Do you see a pattern here?
Flyin' me back to Memphis
Gotta find my Daisy Jane
well the summer's gone
and I hope she's feelin' the same
Well I left her just to raom the city
Thinkin' it would ease the pain
I'm a crazy man and I'm playin' my crazy game, game
Daisy Jane by America was my favorite song my Freshman year of college, right after that little lady so unceremoniously dropped me as a love interest, I was listening to it a lot. There was a pain in the song that I could relate to. I played the song over and over so many times, that the guys who lived in the dorm room next to mine put a note on my door that said,
"Dear Daisy Jane Lover, PLEASE quit playing the same song over and over. Thank You."
I was embarrassed, and I acquiesced to their request. Maybe it was when I quit playing that song, that I got over that woman. Maybe. It's been so long now that I can't remember. Time is a great healer.
Do you really love me?
I hope you do
Like the stars above me
how I love you
When it's cold at night
everything's all right
She didn't love me. She never loved me. I was just a convenient place to place her lips for awhile. I made her laugh, I made her smile, and then someone else came along who could make her laugh and smile. Oh well, it was a lesson learned that would come in handy over the next 30 years of my life, one that I'm not sure that I learned as well as I should have. Love is a bitch baby. Love is a mean as hell dog from hell. I have never been in love more than three years. What does that make me: a serial monogamist?
I'm 52 years old, and I've never married. What's up with that? My parents were Irish Catholic: they came over on a boat, he from County Cork, and she from Dublin. He lived in the garage, and she lived in the kitchen; they stayed married for The Pope. Isn't that sick: live a life of non-communication because some guy is telling you that you can't get into heaven if you get a divorce?
Anyway, I watched that weird marriage charade that my parents played, and, I think, that, at some level, it affected me, it told me that marriage was a trap, that marriage was evil, and I've never gotten very close to it.
Well she was an American girl
Raised on promises
She couldn't help thinking that there
Was a little more to life
Somewhere else
After all it was a great big world
With lots of places to run to
Yeah, an d if she had to die
Trying she had one little promise
She was going to keep
Well, Tom Petty, I am an American Boy, and I was raised on promises, also. I'm not sure if the promises turned out to be lies, or the path I chose simply put me way outside the majority of promises made to a young whooper snapper in this great nation.
Being a poet carries its own set of rules and regulations. Unless you have a degree in it, there is nowhere to apply for a job in it. There is not much money in it. But, you know something: I love it. I love being A Poet. I would not want to be anything else. I have never been happier in my life, than in the period of my life where I sat down and did what I always wanted to do. I didn't want to be a Lawyer. I didn't want to be a Doctor, an Accountant, a Pilot. I wanted to be A Poet, and, dang it, that is what I am, in richer and in poorer!
Dang. I didn't tell you that I am A Poet. I'm sorry. I forgot. When I was going away to college, I told my dear old dad that I wanted to be a writer. He looked me in the eye and said, "One in a million make it at that game, and I don't think that you have it."
He never thought that I "had it" for anything. But, I listened to the bastard. I didn't pursue my dream; I didn't listen to the voice in my heart that had been saying to me, since second grade that, "You are going to be a writer." I joined a Frat and I studied business like all the other frat boys were doing, and I slowly died inside, from the loss of my dream, and from the booze.
It wasn't until I was 27, and was hanging around punk rock clubs in Atlanta, Ga. that I bought a notebook, and some pens, and started living my dream. I started scribbling poems while the bands played on. I became a music columnist. I got a gig, for a bout a year, with the biggest paper in the Southeast.
I started living the dream, pal…!!
(But…I still had that darn problem with booze.)
Oh yeah, all right
Make it last all night
She was an American girl
Mostly, in my life, it lasted all night when I had been drinking. Maybe it is something about Catholic Guilt that makes it hard for me to take my clothes off with a stranger, unless I have had a fifth of Jack Daniels, or 8 or 10 beers. Even now, at seventeen years sober, I find that I am a bit of a shy guy. The only way that I meet the ladies is on the internet, where I can type my way into their hearts and minds. The old stand up face to face is still, somewhat, nerve-racking to me. It looks as if The Pope may have had some effect on my relationships, also, even though I left the church when I was eighteen. Take it easy baby, make it last all night…and you wake up in the morning and wonder who she is, and where she came from, and what, if anything, the two of you did last night.
"Well, hello. What's your name? And then the two of you just go at it from there, you trying to figure out if she remembers as little of the night before as you do.
Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk,
I'm a woman's man: no time to talk.
Music loud and women warm, I've been kicked around
since I was born.
And now it's all right. It's OK.
And you may look the other way.
We can try to understand
the New York Time's effect on man.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
I can't much tell what this song, "Staying Alive," by the Bee Gees has to do with this story, except that for about a year and a half, Disco enveloped my life. I bought The Platform Shoes. I bought The Funky Silk Pants. I bought the Funky Silk Shirts, and I asked The Ladies to dance; and you know what, while disco was alive, the ladies would say yes to me.
Yeeeeees, and Yippee for Disco.
The Ladies no longer looked down upon you, as if you were an urchin from the bar room floor who was trying to get into their pants by asking them to dance. Noooooooooope, now The Ladies wanted to get down, too. John Travolta and The Bee Gees had us up andd off our bar stool, and moving on the dance floor. It was a great time. Gin and Tonics had not yet reared their ugly head as a drink that I could not drink, because it make me violent. It was a cool drink to sip, lime and all, that gave me a quick buzz, cuz though the ladies were saying, "yes," I was still that shy little Catholic kid who I told you about earlier. Just like I had tried to put a buzz on to go to my first high school dance, in order to be comfortable around the ladies, I was still putting on the the chill my nerves buzz in college. Some things never change. Momma I'll never be coming home, and she knows it.
Whether you're a brother or whether you're a mother,
you're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Feel the city breakin' and everybody shakin',
and we're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive.
At this point in my life, and this point in my drinking, which had become my life, I was doing well. I was "partying" every night in college. One night, it would be a Beat The Clock Night, at a club, the next it would be a Two For One Night, at a club, then there were The Fraternity, and The Sorority parties…kegs, dude, and I was always there when they would tap the mother, and I was always there when the last beer was drained from it. It didn't occur to me that you could be an alcoholic in a Fraternity at College. I thought that alkies were down and out losers, who hung out in The Bowery, and didn't have Platform Shoes, and Silk Pants, and Shirts.
Boy was I wrong.
This seems like a suitable place for a break. Go get you a glass of water, or a cup of coffee. That's what I drink, mostly, filtered water with lime, and coffee.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I hope that that little break did you some good. I find, when I am reading that it is often a good idea to put the book down in various places, and just breath in and breath out for awhile.
The worlds got some plans for me
Courthouse, jails and factories
Black and whites on the street
For me for me
I see my place in American waste
Faced with choices I cant take
American waste American waste
On my own I see my fate
There are two things significant about my life that are found in this Black Flag song called, "American Waste." The first is that I became a Punk Rocker, when I moved to Atlanta, Georgia around 1983. The transition from Frat Boy with a strong Disco Edge was an easy one for me, because on both scenes extreme drinking was a major part of the gig, and, I am a Gemini, so maybe that helps me fit in just about anywhere. I hung out at Punk Clubs, and, if you looked at me, by the way I dressed, and the way I cut my hair, you would say that I was a Punk.
I even had a Mohawk for a little bit. I had this job that I hated; it was killing me. It was as a banquet waiter; I was carrying these heavy ass trays, and my back was starting to hurt a lot. I wanted out. Sitting on the front porch of some friends' house, the conversation between me and this one guy turned to Mohawks.
"I can give you one if you want," he said. "I have done it before, and I am rather good at it."
I knew that this was my ticket out of the job that sucked. "Hell, yes," I said, "Lay it on me."
I called my boss the next morning, extremely hung over and told him what I had done. "Well, that was rather stupid," was about all that he said. He didn't know that I didn't think that it was stupid, that I thought that it was a brilliant move to get me out of the not so wonderful world of banquet waiting.
Also, the Black Flag song refers to, "Courthouse and jails." These two places, due to my drinking, were becoming more, and more, a part of my life. I was often drinking into blackout, and would wake up in the drunk tank, often covered in my own blood, and puke. What a sad existence. How especially sad to think that I would continue to drink, I would continue to drink into blackouts. I would continue to get arrested, and then scramble in my brain in the courthouse, when I would find out what I was charged with, and try to figure out a way to get the charges dropped.
On my own on the way out
Small enough its all spelled out
I know what I see what I want
The doors are closed in this maze
It seemed to me that there was no way out. It seemed to me that I would keep getting drunk, until I finally got in so much trouble that I got some real jail time,
instead of the 2 to 3 day drunk tank sentences that I was getting. I knew that I was in trouble, but I didn't know my way out. A, once, top of his class kid, was now a common criminal, a drunken common criminal. I remember, once, that I had seen this chart about the progression of an alcoholic with jail, and mental institution visits marking the chart right before death. I was hovering above death. I could easily wind up dead, stabbed or shot, for doing something violent or stupid in one of my blackouts. I had no control of myself: I was out of control.
In the day we sweat it out in the streets of a runaway American dream
At night we ride through mansions of glory in suicide machines
Sprung from cages out on highway 9,
Chrome wheeled, fuel injected and steppin' out over the line
Baby this town rips the bones from your back
Its a death trap, its a suicide rap
We gotta get out while were young
'cause tramps like us, baby we were born to run
I was born to run. I had run from my father's house, almost the moment that I could. He had come into my room to give me a new curfew, to give me more shit, shit like he had been giving me for eighteen years. He said that he knew that I was drinking and driving, and that he wanted me to be in the house by nine o'clock. I didn't even think about it. I had been scared of this man for eighteen years, but I wasn't scared of him anymore. I had priced a room in an old hotel by the beach that we lived near, and I knew that I could afford it, that I could afford to move out from under his fascist fist.
I pointed a finger at him. "You're an asshole. You've always been an asshole. I'll be out of this house on Saturday. Don't mess with me until then."
He looked stunned. I don't think that he saw this one coming. I think that he thought that I was going to keep on doing what he said for the whole summer, after high school, until it was time for me to head off to college. But, he was wrong.
I was gone, baby. A tramp like me, baby, I was born to run.
Wendy let me in I wanna be your friend
I want to guard your dreams and visions
Just wrap your legs round these velvet rims
And strap your hands across my engines
Together we could break this trap
Well run till we drop, baby well never go back
Will you walk with me out on the wire
`cause baby Im just a scared and lonely rider
But I gotta find out how it feels
I want to know if love is wild, girl I want to know if love is real
Immediately, I called the girl who I told you about earlier, the girl who wound up breaking my heart; but she didn't break it right away. We had a good summer, a very good summer. I was a Catholic virgin going into that summer, but that didn't last long once I got out of my parents Catholic household and hooked up with this girl.
Making love with her was pure. She was so lovely, and I was so innocent.
I thought that she and I would never go back. She showed me the wild side of love, and I thought that our love was real. I was on top of the world; nothing could stop me. My dad was right: I was drinking and driving. I would put a six pack in the car and drive up the beautiful, and endless beaches, that populated the small Florida town that I lived in. There was nothing as pure as catching a buzz, and looking at the sand, and listening to the surf while driving up and down the beach.
Like I said, I was on top of the world. I was out of my dad's house, and I was getting laid, thinking that she and I were in love. Well, maybe I was, but once the summer was over, and I went off to college, she, somehow, quit being in love.
Looking for another place
To ride into the sun
Ride into the sun
Ride into the sun
Ride into the sun
When this girl broke my heart I had to look for another place to be, just like in this Velvet Underground song called, "Ride Into The Sun." This is where I made one of the hugest tactical errors of my life, and joined The Fraternity. I would probably have become a drunk, if I had not joined The Frat, but The Frat certainly, as I told you earlier, accelerated things.
Ride into the sun. Ride into the oblivion of the every night buzz. Lose your mind right around the time that you are supposed to graduate, and stumble away from college one class short of a degree: a business degree…you didn't want a business degree, you wanted an English Degree or a Journalism Degree, but they didn't offer journalism at the school were you were drinking at, and, at this point in time, you have no idea if they offered an English degree. You did what all the other Frat Boys were doing: you studied business, so that you could get some sort of a job that you did not want. That Real Estate Finance class kicked your ass; you couldn't pass that class. What a bummer dude; bummer. Nobody but you put a dime into those four years of schooling, and you had just failed yourself.
Where everything seems so pretty
When you're lonely and tired of the city
Remember it's a flower made out of clay
To the city
Where everything seems so ugly
When your sitting at home in self pitty
Remember you're just one more person
Who's living there
It's hard to live in the city
It's hard to live in the city
It's hard to live in the city
It is hard to live anywhere, when you are self-destructing. The buzz was not fun anymore. The buzz had just ruined what was supposed to be one of the biggest accomplishments of my life: four years and nothing to show for it. No degree. No degree. No degree.
Coffee in the morning is good medication. Some mornings I wash the pills down with the coffee: mmmm mmmm good.
It turns out that there was a little thing about me that I didn't know all the years that I was drinking. It turns out that I was self-medicating for a condition that they call bi-polar. When Jimi Hendrix had it, it was called Manic-depression, but I guess that they wanted to mellow the name a bit, so they changed it to bi-polar.
I googled manic depression versus bi-polar, and a lot of listings came up, but none that answered my question as to why they changed the name. Oh well, the name is not what matters; what matters is that, on medication, and with therapy, I no longer have the wide mood swings that I used to have. I am not curled in the fetal position, at times, thoroughly depressed.
I am not wildly manic, running about my home like I am Mick Jaggar on speed.
I remember one night, about 25 years ago, when I was thoroughly depressed. I drank a large bottle of wine, and headed out to The Punk Rock club. I woke up on the floor of the dump that I lived in, hung over as hell, but you know what, I had beaten the depression that was nagging me the night before. If that is not self-medication, I certainly don't know what is. I bet that I did this many, many times over my drinking career; drank to alter depressed or otherwise foul moods.
I haven't had a drink in almost 18 years. I am really proud of this fact, and this fact has probably kept me alive. I had two guns pulled on me, while I was drinking, one by a police officer who I screamed at, "Shoot me, you mother fucker…shoot me."
Hell, if I had been that cop, I would have shot my punk ass, my big mouthed ass.
What are the Symptoms of Bipolar Disorder?
Bipolar disorder is associated with severe and extreme symptoms. However, bipolar disorder symptoms are often not recognized or are confused with other illnesses, which can unfortunately lead to unnecessary long-term suffering. Bipolar disorder distorts mood and thought patterns.
People with bipolar disorder experience dramatic mood swings, altering from extreme highs to extreme lows. These highs are called "mania" and these lows are called "depression". If you are experiencing frequent periods of mania altering with depression, with periods of normalcy in between, you may have bipolar disorder.
http://www.epigee.org/mental_health/bipolar.html
Should someone who is bi-polar be forgiven for all the lousy behavior that he has exhibited, once he has gone on lithium, and is no longer exhibiting all that lousy behavior?
I was forgiven by the family that adopted me: my son's mother, her new husband, and my kids.
Busted flat in Baton Rouge, waiting for a train
And I's feeling nearly as faded as my jeans.
Bobby thumbed a diesel down just before it rained,
It rode us all the way to New Orleans.
Me and Bobby McGee
--Written by Kris Kristofferson
--Immortalized by Janis
I went "On The Road," for a summer. I'm not sure if I was influenced by The Kerouac Book, if I was trying to find myself, or if I was running away from myself: probably a little bit of all three. After reading the book, going on the road seemed like something that I had to do. It seemed like a wild, wide-open adventure that every young man should take. In retrospect, now that I am a father, I don't like the conclusion to the book, where Kerouac seems to be saying that you should blow off your wife and kid, and head out on the road with your buddy or buddies looking for some high jazz induced times. I don't think that you should blow off your kids. I think that you should be there for your kids, no matter what the situation is between you and their mother.
Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose,
Nothing don't mean nothing honey if it ain't free, now now.
And feeling good was easy, Lord, when he sang the blues,
You know feeling good was good enough for me,
Good enough for me and my Bobby McGee.
I've always related to the line, "Freedom's just another world for nothing left to lose." I mean when nothing is tying you down, when nothing is holding you, then you are free man…aren't you? Or does freedom lie in having so much money, that you don't ever have to work again?
I think that freedom is basically a state of mind. Meditation can lead to freedom. When you free your mind, you free the rest of you. When your mind is calm, when your mind is free from stress, you are free. Maybe there are different kinds of freedom, just like there are different truths.
Lordy Lordy Lordy Lordy Lordy Lordy Lordy Lord
Hey, hey, hey, Bobby McGee.
Janis has lost Bobby, up by Salinas. She seems to be calling out to the Lord. Is calling out to the Lord a path to freedom? Is being in touch with The Lord a way to set yourself free? Do you have to go to church on Sunday to do this? Can you have your own special relationship with The Lord, outside of the conduit that a Priest or Preacher provides for you?
I quit going to church when I was 19. I was sitting in the pew at The Catholic Church, at a Sunday evening service, I believe it was, and I looked over and saw a Fraternity Brother of mine in another one of the pews. I said to myself, what the hell is he doing here: he was drunk last night, and trying to get laid.
And then, I looked at myself, and I said…hell, what am I doing here; I was drunk last night, also, and I did get laid.
I quit going to church after that.
People look upon me as a great father. I receive compliments all the time about how good I am with my kids. I think it interesting to realize that the man who stands in front of those people who are complimenting me used to go in and out of drunk tank regularly, and used to go in and out of state mental institutions regularly.
I don't know if you believe in miracles, but, really, my life is a miracle. I slid about as low down on the drunk down and out scale as you can go, and, then, I have climbed back up to a place near the top of the happy and successful life scale.
I do not have lots of money, but because of the kids, and my place in their life, I have lots of happiness.
Come gather 'round people
And admit that the waters
Around you have grown
And accept it that soon
You'll be drenched to the bone.
If your time to you
Is worth savin'
Then you better start swimmin'
Or you'll sink like a stone
For the times they are a-changin'.
Bob Dylan nailed it with this song, "The Times They Are A Changing." My life has been a long series of growth spurts. I grew when I left my parents house. I grew when I learned to dance disco. I grew when I went punk rock in dress and attitude, but most of all, I grew when I sobered up and became a father.
I could have stayed where I was, an LSD soaked, beer and bourbon driven Poet aspiring to the cover of The Stone Roller, but I didn't and I'm damn glad that I didn't.
Come writers and critics
Who prophesize with your pen
And keep your eyes wide
The chance won't come again
And don't speak too soon
For the wheel's still in spin
And there's no tellin' who
That it's namin'.
Will be later to win
For the times they are a-changin'
Yes Bob, "the loser now will be later to win." That is the story of my life. I am a writer who prophesizes with his pen. Early in my life, I wrote The Book of Misery. I thought that I was having a good time, but I wasn't. I didn't start having a good time until I wrote The Book Of Love, which is the story about my children and I.
Have you read it, yet?
PART 2
I was going to end it there. I was going to end The Book of Love with and acknowledgment of my children, but I have decided that would not be fair. It would not be fair to you, it would not be fair to me. There is more to my life than just the tale of liquor, and the tale of love for my children. There are 14 pre-liquor years to talk about, and there are 17 plus post liquor years to talk about.
All that happened leading up to me taking my first drink was not bad. There were some good times, also, and I will try to recount some of them for you, thought my desire, my tendency is to want to try to write about the bad things that happened in these years, perhaps to make you feel sorry for me.
I went to a regular kindergarten, and as far as I can remember, I was just a regular kid. I did not stand out any in either the capacity of having great traits, or in the capacity of having bad traits. I was just an average, normal, regular kindergartener. I bet that if you went and found my kindergarten teacher, she would tell you that she did not remember me because I was such a blasé, run of the mill, average kid.
I remember that I liked eating crackers during break. This was my favorite part of my kindergarten day. I am sure that they must have had peanut butter, and jam, to put on those crackers, or else I would not be remembering having crackers at all.
We don't need no education
We dont need no thought control
No dark sarcasm in the classroom
Teachers leave them kids alone
Hey! Teachers! Leave them kids alone!
All in all it's just another brick in the wall.
All in all you're just another brick in the wall.
Roger Waters of the band Pink Floyd must have had a very different schooling experience than I did. I went to Catholic School from the 1st through 5th grade, and don't remember the nuns being overly oppressive. I had one if the second grade who, I guess, thought that I was brilliant, because she wanted to transfer me from the second grade into the third. This matter was seriously looked into by the school, and by my parents, but a decision was made to keep me where I was. Had I been transferred in such a manner, my life would have been very different in grades 6 through 11. In these grades, I had a bully dogging me out, making my life very miserable. In retrospect, I often think that if I had known how to fight, my life would not have been so bad. If I had known how to fight, I could have walked up to this bully, and kicked his ass, and all the problems that he was causing me would have gone away.
We don't need no education
We dont need no thought control
No dark sarcasm in the classroom
Teachers leave them kids alone
Hey! Teachers! Leave them kids alone!
All in all it's just another brick in the wall.
All in all you're just another brick in the wall.
So, with me, it wasn't the teachers that needed to leave me alone, but another student. The teachers mostly liked me. I was a good student. I did my homework on time. I made good grades. The dark sarcasm being projected at me was from a kid who eventually wound up being the Captain of the football team in High School. What an asshole. What a loser. Leave me alone, you dickhead, before I put a brick in your head.
More on this later, but, right now, I want to talk about what my father taught me in the second grade. He taught me that back in Ireland, where he came from, "real men," circled up to settle their differences, which means that the two guys who have a fight to pick with each other get in the middle of a circle of their friends or acquaintances, and neither one can leave the circle until the fight is over.
Second grade…this is when he taught me this. My father taught me that you should fight, but he didn't teach me how to fight, so, consequently, I was coming home, regularly with my white Catholic school shirt covered in blood. I would come home to my mother, and, to this day, I can not understand why she would stand for her son being part of a situation. It makes no sense to me.
I taught my kids not to fight. I taught them to get a teacher, get a cop, get whatever authority figure was available to stop the fight, and I, also, took them to Jiu Jitsu training, so that, if there was a fight, they would know what to do. I mean come on; why would you send a kid out to fight in the second grade, and why would you send him out to fight without teaching him how to fight. Just how stupid were those guys who circle up back in Ireland?
"Wrong, Do it again!"
"If you don't eat yer meat, you can't have any pudding. How can you
have any pudding if you don't eat yer meat?"
When we were young, we had to eat fish on Friday's in my father's home, as he called it…he would say that it was his, his home, his house…his, his, his, implying that it was not mine, mine, mine at all. Anyway, whatever fish that my mother got at the grocery store was NASTY. It nearly made me sick. It made me gag. It was awful, and, you know what, if I did not eat every last bit of it, my father would slap me across the face. He did this at other meals besides The Catholic Fish Dinner. Spaghetti, steak, salad…it didn't matter; if I didn't wipe my plate clean he would backhand me. I got to where I would pile the food that I couldn't stand, lima beans come strongly to mind, across the sides of my mouth, and then ask to be excused.
When the old man gave his ok, I would hurry up the stairs to the bathroom and spit the nasty stuff that was in my mouth out.
What an ordeal. Did you grow up like that? Were meal times a fun time for you and your family, or was it like some sort of concentration camp punishment ritual for you?
Slow ride, take it easy - Slow ride, take it easy,
Slow ride, take it easy - Slow ride, take it easy.
I'm in the mood, the rhythm is right,
Move to the music, we can roll all night.
Oooh, oooh, slow ride - oooh, oooh...
My love life has been what I would call sporadic. You might say that I am a serial monogamist. The longest that I have made it with any one woman is three years. She and I were "party" buddies. That means that we both liked to get drunk, get high, and do LSD together. One night, we were at an Art Opening in Downtown Atlanta, and, as we we leaving The Opening, my love said to me, "Hey, will you drive?"
Without even thinking about it, without even thinking about my inebriated condition, I said, "Sure."
Within three minutes, I had hit something, and the car refused to move. We got out and saw that I had landed the car onto a median in the road. We looked at each other, giggled, and just walked away from the vehicle, not too concerned about it.
The next morning, my Love made some phone calls, and found out where the car had been towed to. She went and picked it up.
This incident is emblematic of a whole large portion of my using life where I did not get into trouble for something that I did under the influence, that I easily could have. This incident could have resulted in arrest. It really should have resulted in arrest: what incredible dangerous, and stupid, behavior I was engaging in.
The car was not even damaged, when we got it back. We just got back into it, and continued with our dangerous, stupid lifestyle. God, I did love that woman, though.
Slow ride, take it easy
Slow ride, take it easy
Slow ride, take it easy - Slow ride, take it easy
Slow down, go down, got to get your lovin' one more time
Hold me, roll me, slow ridin' woman you're so fine
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3.
I have escaped the grip of the demon alcohol. I sit here this morning, nurturing a nice cup of coffee, the sweetener Stevia, and some nice Soy Creamer added. I don't know how many times in my life, around 6 a.m. that I was being woken by jailers to go face the judge, many times covered in my own puke and blood. What a shit existence, but I lived it for so long. I kept doing the same thing over and over. Someone told me, once I sobered up, that "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over, and over, and expecting different results." In that case I was certainly insane.
One, two boys by the river
Down by the water
Tellin' riddles in the dark
With fireflies under the moonlight
Carvin' the insides of a tree with a knife
Ever hear the one about the boy's big sister
His best friend come along
He tried to kiss her
[Chorus:]
Is you are exactly the same
As you used to be
It was Sixth Ave. Heartache that won me over to The Wallflowers, but this song, "The Difference," always made a great deal of sense to me. I heard the songs several times on the Local FM Rock N Roll Radio Station, and I was hooked. I went to see the band at a small local club, I bought the cd.
The only difference
Is you are exactly the same
As you used to be
This is exactly what was always said about me. People were pointing out that I hadn't changed, though I was trying to present myself to them as a new person. It takes a lot to change, and I wasn't, for the longest, time willing to take those steps to change.
I wasn't yet ready to shut up, to shut up the internal voices that were always running in my head saying, "me, me, me," and listen to "the experience, hope, and strength of others."
People look at me now, and say, "Man, you have really changed." I smile in appreciation, but I smile knowing that I had a lot of help. There were many willing to share their, "experience, strength, and hope with me," many who shared freely with me what they had done to get sober, how they had gone "to any length," to get and stay sober.
For this, I thank them profusely.
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When I was about nine, I remember my father pointing a finger at me, and screaming at me, "You are going to be a drunk, I know that you are going to be a drunk." It seemed really weird to me at the time. I barely knew what alcohol was was. It was that nasty smelling beer, and nasty smelling bottle of whatever it was that my father got plastered on from time to time, and then started yelling at everyone, like he was now. How could he think that I was going to associate with that fouls smelling stuff that made one act so weird?
But associate with it, I did. At age 14 some kids that I hung out with discovered that an old man, who lived down the street from us all, kept cases of Schlitz in his garage, and started lifting a case from the old man on Fridays.
At first, the beer tasted like shit. It made me gag, but I kept drinking it, and soon I found the neatest feeling behind the lousy taste. A beautiful, happy haze engulfed me. I felt whole, and protected for the first time in my life: I was drunk. Yes, father, if this is what being drunk is all about then I am going to be a drunk.
And I set off on that path, a path that I plowed from the ages of 14 through 34.
Alcohol became my friend. It made me a jovial extrovert, it helped me talk to the ladies. It made me feel good, oh yes, in the beginning, it made me feel so, so good.
One boy lives in a tower
With bow and arrow
You always said that you needed some
But you always had more, more than anyone
I used to stash beers in the produce container of refrigerators at parties, when I was in my 20's. I would stash two or three beers there, so that when the beers ran out, at the party, I would still have some to drink.
I wasn't going to run out, no not me. I always had more, more than anyone.
I don't know if I will die with a little boy face. I do know that, if things remain the same in my life, as they are now, I will not die with the smell of liquor on my breath, and that is a miracle.
Do you believe in miracles?
If only you believe like I believe, baby
We'd get by
If only you believe in miracles, baby
So would I
If only you believe like I believe, baby
Wed get by
If only you believe in miracles, baby
So would I.
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Another miracle in my life are the animals that have, somehow, showed up to join me in this journey. I have two dogs, two cats, and two turtles. The cats are named
Kobain, and Jaggar, the dogs are Morisson, and Bundy, and the turtles are named Prynce and Rue Paul. I will talk more about them, later, but let me first talk about one of my brushes with one of the famous people who I named my turtle after.
Ru Paul is red hot…
ELABORATE HERE DEAR…
This is turning out to be something other than it was intended, but, then, isn't that how life is. Life is change. Life never turns out the way that you intended it to be, now does it? "Life is what happens to you when you are busy making other plans," said John Lennon before he was prematurely struck down. Mr. Lennon certainly didn't plan on that ending for himself, now did he? He thought that he was coming out with a new album, and maybe might be touring, again; singing his songs to the folks, once more.
Moving from Catholic School in the 5th grade to Public School in the 6th grade, was, at first a big change for me. In the Catholic School, we were taught to stand,
after raising our hand and getting the attention of the teacher. The Public School Kids were not taught to stand, and they thought it very funny, and stupid, that I
was standing when I addressed The Teacher.
They laughed at me and threw things at me, until I learned not to stand in such a situation. Looking at this, as I type it, it seems so trivial, but, at the time, the whole thing had a great power over me. I was nervous to be in a new school as it was, and would have preferred to just fit in, but here I was, the class clown of sorts, being picked on, and laughed at by a majority of my class mates. In the year 2009, you might turn on the television, or pick up the newspaper to see where a frustrated 6th grade student had come to class with a gun, and had shot several of his classmates. That method of dealing with your frustration wasn't in vogue, yet.
The kid who sat directly behind me was especially annoying. Not only did he throw things at me, and laugh at me when I stood up to speak to the teacher, but he had a bad habit of slapping me on the head. I can't remember specifically what caused him to slap me on the head, but I am pretty sure that he did not need much of a reason to do this: he derived a great pleasure from doing so, I am sure.
One day, I turned around and told him that if he slapped me again, I was going to hit him. I guess that he did not believe me, because he soon slapped me. I turned around crawled over his desk, and hauled off and smacked him on the chin. A fight ensued which had my classmates in an uproar. The teacher, for whatever reason, took awhile to recognize what was going on, but when she did she sent both of us to the office.
After telling my side of the story to The Principal, which is exactly what I just told you, I was sent back to the classroom. We didn't see the other fellow for several days, and when he returned, it was in a very subdued mood.
It turned out that this guy was kind of the class bully, and that he was not much liked by the other kids, so the fact that I had engaged him in a fight, and had won, suddenly endeared my classmates to me. I find it a strange way to go from being laughed at for standing up to suddenly having kids gather around me and want me to hang out with them.
Truckin' got my chips cashed in. Keep truckin', like the do-dah man
Together, more or less in line, just keep truckin' on.
Arrows of neon and flashing marquees out on Main Street.
Chicago, New York, Detroit and it's all on the same street.
Your typical city involved in a typical daydream
Hang it up and see what tomorrow brings.
Dallas, got a soft machine; Houston, too close to New Orleans;
New York, got the ways and means; but just won't let you be,
Most of the cats that you meet on the street speak of true love,
Most of the time they're sittin' and cryin' at home.
One of these days they know they gotta get goin'
Out of the door and down on the street all alone.
I am not sure of the significance of this song, "Truckin'," by The Grateful Dead, to this part of the story. I am pretty sure that I have mentioned to you earlier, that I went on the road, for a summer or so. I started in Florida, and first wound up at The World's Fair in Louisville, Kentucky. Low paying work was easy to find, but the whole scene was a grind; it was boring as all get up. I left The World's Fair with eleven cents in my pocket, not even wanting to wait until my paltry paychecks showed up.
------------------------
I almost got a call that I've been dreading for a couple of years now. On my son's 8th birthday, his mother brought home the most delightful dog, who immediately fit into our family. He was fun, he was fluffy, he liked to eat, and he liked to chase tennis balls. In fact, in time, we learned that he was a tennis ball addict. We also learned that he was a food addict.
Anyway, we have had this dog, Javi, for over twelve years, now, and the poor thing is getting old, and that was what I was worried about; that the kids' mom is going to call me and tell me that she had to have Javi put down.
Javi has arthritis; he can't chase tennis balls anymore. He can still eat, though, and we have to keep his weight down. If you don't watch him, he will eat all the food on his plate, and then he will eat all the food on your plate; greedy dog.
Inspite of the fact that he steal food from us, we love him so. I don't see how these people can leave the family dog in the basement of their house, and just move on. I understand that money is tight because they have been foreclosed on, but, have a heart honey, where is your soul?
Can you imagine buying a house, and on the first day that you move into it, one of the kids is screaming at you, "Mom, mom, come here…" What a thing to find. Fido is expendable. Some folks, due to the recession, are driving their kids to the streets,
because they can't afford them; there are twelve year old girls out there in the our parks, after dark, giving blowjobs to dirty old men, so that they can survive as a twelve year old on their own.
It's a sick fucking existence, sometimes. when you get right down to it. And God gave us all free will.
--------------------------------
I've learned that I don't have to be in the clean plate club, that I can scrape the food that I don't want onto the floor, and the dogs will be happy to have it. Javi, who has been a part of our family for 12 plus years now, may be at the end of this journey. This will be the first dog that I've been a part of who I will see pass on. I'm not any good at death.
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I'm having trouble finding songs to post here. I'm not sure why you should be interested in my life. Blah blah.
---------------------------------
It's hard to fool a cat. In the mornings, I like to give my cats a little snack of wet cat food. Occasionally, I run out of the wet cat food, and you have never seen two Misses Prisses so offended. They hover about their bowls, meowing, for hours, just not getting it; just not getting that I have let them down for the second day in a row. I have made a note, today. For me notes are good. For me, notes are essential, or I do not come away from the store with what I want, with what I need.
What I need is to lose weight. I have lost 35 pounds, but it is not enough. I still have another 40 pounds to go to be at the weight that is normal for my height. Normal is something that I may have always had trouble being. What is normal, anyway?
I know that normal is not blacking out, and waking up, regularly, inside
drunk tanks covered in your own blood, and puke. I know that normal is not, being taken to the loony bin for three, and five day visits, and having them ask you if you know who you are, and if you know who the President is.
Gosh, who was The President during those crazy times of mine?
I would say that my life now is normal, in my own special way. I am blessed to have a lot of time on my hands for writing. I think that as a bi-polar human being I just don't fit into most of the work schemes that men and women have devised to make a buck. There is too much stress in those worlds. People don't care about each other, as far as I can see, because they are not allowed to. People are pressured to do whatever it is that will make the most money for the people in charge of the corporation, or business.
I was a waiter for a long time. I enjoyed the lifestyle. Most everybody in the business "partied," i.e. got drunk, got high. There was always access to a bar, and there were various ways to work a deal with a bartender to get a drink, and I got paid every day, i.e. tips found their way into my pocket, and I had the cash to buy me some cocktails every night.
There was this one manager, who I worked for that was a real asshole. He thought that because he was the manager, that he had the right to be rude to people, to insult them. He thought that because he was the manager that he owned people, and that the minute that they put on their uniform, that he owned them.
He was a major prick, and, one morning, he was being particularly harsh to a female friend of mine, an artist, who really wasn't good at putting up with the
type of tongue lashing that he was giving her over cleaning the forks, or making sure that the ketchup, and the mustard were full.
I flipped, and started giving him a worse chewing out than he was giving my friend. I yelled at him, and told him what a low life piece of dog dung that he was,
how he didn't deserve to be breathing the same air as the rest of us.
Then, I left his "lineup," and headed out of the restaurant. The dining room was full, already. I knocked over the "Specials" sign, and I started yelling at the folks eatig their lunch how they shouldn't eat here, because the manager treats his employees worse than slaves anywhere on the planet were ever treated.
A security guard in a golf cart followed me off the property. I never regretted quitting that job, or the way that I quit it. I think that there is a standard of decency that should be followed in dealing with each other on this planet, and that jerk was not following it. He was following his own little fascist, sadistic trip, and I wasn't down with it. He, I'm sure, got his bonus, and I am glad I got the hell out of there.
Am I normal?
Maybe I should get all the weird stuff that happened to me off my chest right here, and then I can see if there is any normal stuff left after that.
I hitchhiked to Atlanta from Tallahassee, Florida in 1982. Though I was very much not a Fraternity type anymore, I needed a place to sleep, so I showed up at the Georgia Tech Chapter of Phi Delta Theta. I showed the guys the Phi handshake, smiled at them the right way, I guess, and they gave me the room of one of the guys gone for the summer. The room was scary. There were pictures of Ronald Reagan, on the wall, and right wing, conservative Republican books scattered through the room.
I knew that I was in the den of the enemy, and I would have to lay low, and keep my mouth shut, until it was time to move on. I had not yet spent any nights out with mother nature, and I did not want to start then.
At that age, and at that point in time, the kind of jobs that I was after were easy to get. I had two jobs within a few days; one as a lunch waiter at a place that sold chicken wings, and the other as a busboy at a fancy fish restaurant in downtown Atlanta.
I was not lazy back then, and physically I could handle the demands of being a waiter. I always say, that a waiter, or a waitress, or a "server" as they are called now earns every penny of the supposedly large amount of money that they earn. It is a very taxing job; stressful on the mind, and on the body. You must be a diplomat, and, sometimes summon the ability within you not to kill somebody, one of your customers specifically.
Some people will intentionally goad you like the woman in Tallahassee, Florida who came into a steak restaurant that I was working at.
The menu said that we offered a, "Man's Size Steak," and this ugly, moron wanted, repeatedly, to know why we didn't offer a "Woman's Size Steak."
And she was persistent about it. I tried telling her that I didn't know, I tried telling her that I didn't write the menu, and I tried telling her that I didn't own the restaurant. The awful lady never asked for a manager; she was content to give me the hard time. She was a mean sadist and I was her punching bag for the evening, but I was making some of that easy waiter money so I hung in there. Someone told me, later, that I should have spit in her steak, as I brought it to her, that that would have made me feel better.
Hmmmmmmmmmmm.
---------------
The cats have settled down. They have finally forgotten about being screwed out of their morning snack. I have made a note to buy them some wet food for the morning. Often, if I do not write things down, I forget to do them. Did I tell you that already?
--------------------------
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
I'm starting to see a pattern within all these old incidences in my life that I am telling you about: I am always whining about being the victim. It is funny, and strange, because in my life now, I am never the victim. I guess that it must boil down to the way you approach things, and handle yourself in this existence.
The worse incident in my drinking career might well have been the night that I got the only dui. that I ever got. I had been drinking Vodka with my girlfriend, at our apartment, and when she fell asleep, or passed out, I decided that I had to have more to drink, that I had to go out, so I grabbed the keys to her car, and headed to a club that I hung out at quite a bit.
A fellow who I knew through my music column, he managed a really good band, bought me some Irish Coffees; my they went down well on top of the vodka. I left the club on fire full of the buzz that I had sought. As I got near to home, I decided to stop at this other club that was ahit or miss in regards to whether it was any fun to hang out at. Sometimes it was cool; sometimes it sucked.
Then, I did something that I've never done in my life: I spun donuts with my girlfriend's car in the gravel parking lot across from the club. When I got to the door there was a police officer standing there who was not too happy to see me.
"I don't like the way you are dressed, boy," was the first thing that he said to me.
I was wearing pink jeans with fashionable punk rock holes in them, a black sleeveless shirt, torn(I thought that that was fashionable at the time,) and my hair was bleached white and cut like Billy Idol's(not intentionally, on my part, mind you.)
What the fuck, I thought, thinking about how the cop had approached me, and then, knowing I was already in trouble, I said to the officer, "I don't really like the way that you are dressed, either!"
From there, all hell broke lose, that resulted in seven charges being levied against me, two of them being counts of simple battery on a police officer. But the stupidest thing that I did was to light my sock on fire once, they got me in the jailed van, so that I could come out and take another swing at the arresting officer.
-------------------------------
I'm not a fan of poetry that is inaccessible. Make that: I am not a fan of writing that is inaccessible. What makes it accessible? I can read it!
-------------------------------
I'm working as a Barista in a coffee shop that is located in a large corporate bookstore. First, I was amazed that I got the gig, and second I am surprised that after almost a year doing it, that I still dig it. I must be getting old.
------------------------------
I wonder if dogs ever get aggravated when you throw them something, and they fail to catch it? I am forever throwing my dogs snacks; their percentage rate of catches is good, but, sometimes, the snack will hit them on the mouth, or teeth, and fall to the floor. Does this ever aggravate a dog, as it might you or I if we dropped the ball while playing catch with our kid, or a friend?
-----------------------------
At about five years sober, I decided to go back to College and get the degree that I had messed up on twice before. Twice? Yes, I told you about drinking my way out of college the first time, once class short of a degree. Well, at the height of my LSD use, I got the grand idea to return to college, and get a Journalism degree, because surely I was the next Hunter Thompson, and the fact that I was severely soaked in alcohol, and drugs would suit me to pursuits of the academic type with
a primary emphasis in journalism.
Well, I failed my the journalism class that I took, and I failed the biology class that I took, and I staggered away, once again, from school, figuring that I would have to come up with some other way to be the next Hunter Thompson. I had not yet figured out that I should be trying to be me, and not anyone else.
Anyway, at five years sober, I, once again applied, and was accepted to college.
The Journalism Professor who had had to flunk me years before, because I sat in the back row, imagining my the literary greatness that was certainly to soon befall me, instead of paying attention to what he was saying, told me about a program called, "Retroactive Hardship Withdrawal," whereby by filling out some paperwork, and getting signatures from the persons who had taught the classe, you could be withdrawn from the class, all these years later.
My F's in Journalism, and Biology were removed. I was thankful, and relieved. I was not going to have the GPA to go to Havard Law School, or UCLA Medical school, but those were not my goals, anyway. For now, I just wanted to get the degree that I had failed to get because of my drug, and alcohol use. I really did not see myself ever using the degree, which this time out, would be in English, with a minor in Journalism. It was a writing degree, and I was already a writer, and I was mostly happy with the arena in which I was writing. I called myself a
"Live to the Internet Writer."
-----------------------------------
I was sitting on a bench in the hallway when she came up. She seemed tense.
She took my hand, and said that she was the prosecuter, and that, with a guilty plea, on my part, I would get 2 1/2 years in jail. I gulped but said what I had been coached by a friend to say, "In that case, I'm pleading innocent, and I want a jury trial."
She gulped, and said that she would be back in a bit.
When she returned she offered me 30 days in jail, saying that I would only do 15 because the jail was overcrowded, 45 days community service, a $300 fine, and that I would have to give the arresting officer $100 for his destroyed clipboard, and torn shirt.
I smiled at her, and said, "Guilty."
But what if I had not had a friend who was an attorney coaching me? I could not afford an attorney. I would have spent 2 1/2 years in jail instead of 15 days. There seems something really amiss going on here.
My friend said that the prosecutor's interest was to win cases, so that she could then get hired at a high salary by a criminal defense attorney's office. If she went to a jury trial, she might lose my case, plus it would take up a lot more of her time than getting a plea from me would.
Moral of story: don't drink and drive.
---------------------------------------------------
I always liked school lunches, and I almost liked jail food. That should tell you that I am not much of a Gourmand. It doesn't tell you that I am a heavy eater.
I am part of what I have heard called, "The Clean Plate Club." What this means, to me, was that if I did not eat all the food on my plate, my father would backhand me, and scream, "Your mother, and I worked hard to put that food on your plate."
Now, I understand his point, but Daddy, really, was the backhand necessary? Don't you realize that you were teaching me that violence was the way to solve things? Don't you know that you were heading me down a lonely road, full of behaviors that carried jail time with them, if you were turned in or otherwise caught?
Do you realize, my deceased father, that to this day, I eat every crumb on my plate, no matter how much food has been put on it, and that that has lead to obesity that has lead to diabetes?
It's all your fault, father.
----------------------------------
Sleeping late on the weekends was not something that my father was going to let me do. He wanted me, "to get up and make something of my life." This got harder to do in High School, when I was starting to wake up with hangovers from the alcohol that I had consumed the night before.
My father was a tyrant; a dictator. Things were going to be done his way, or you were going to hit the highway. He had come here from Ireland with specific goals
in mind, and one of them was to have a perfect kid. I really let him down on that one. I turned out to have a real bad attitude, and a real bad drinking problem. And like I told you before, I told him to fuck off when I decided to move out of "his." house.
My parents bought a new house, up North; brand new, so new that I had to take off my shoes at the door, so as to not get any dirt in their new house. Then I had to stop walking on the carpet that covered the stairway that lead to my bedroom My father said that I was wearing out his carpet. The problem was, to me anyway, that my bedroom was at the top of those stairs, so he was saying that I could only visit my bedroom, once a day, at night when I slept there.
Man, I thought that sucked, but I was powerless to do anything about it, just like I was powerless to do anything about anything that my father did or said.
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!
My therapist recently told me that I was, "abused by my father."
I told her that I figured that he did the best that he could with what had been given to him. It had taken a long time for me to get to this space with regards to my Dad. For years, decades, actually, I had blamed him for most everything bad
that occurred to me.
My joke was that when some people's father's died they get a hotel chain; me I got a bad temper, a drinking problem, psoriasis, diabetes, and a bi polar situation.
It is easy to blame someone or some ones else for your condition. It is easy to blame your problems on someone else, especially when they were such strong figure in you life for so long. But, somewhere along the line, you have to grow up and accept responsibility for your own messes. For me that point came shortly after the birth of my second son.
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I have figured out a way to get out of the clean plate club. I eat until I am full, and then I give the dogs what is left on the plate. The problem with this, as you might well can tell, is that the dogs are going to get fat. They are going to get fat with a big smile on their faces, though.
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It was 4:oo a.m. when the phone rang. I was living in the basement of a rooming house; the first of a long number of dumps that I would live in in Atlanta. I like dumps. I feel comfortable there. I don't have to take my shoes off at the door. I can spill things on the carpet, and no one cares, no one notices because there wear already an abundance of stains on the carpet when I moved in. Some landlords, though, will try to keep your deposit based on old stains, based on stains that somebody else put there. Some landlords, of course, are assholes.
Anyway, the phone rings; I sit up, and I say to myself, my father is dead. I answer the phone, it is a friend of my mother's and she says, "Mikel, your father is dead."
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Before I moved out of my father's house, I told my father that I was planning on studying writing in college that I was planning on being a writer. He looked straight at me, and without even thinking about what he was saying, he said, "One in a million make it at that game, and I don't think that you have it.?
I winced. Had he been following my high school writing career? I was the Sports Editor of the School Newspaper. I had won the Speech Writing Contest that the school had every year. I was recognized by my teachers as a top tier writer: and my father says that he didn't think that I have it.
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I discovered Punk rock in Atlanta, or should I say that Punk Rock discovered me? I was, to say the least, a bit socially unacceptable when I was drunk, but that didn't seem to matter to the motley bunch of friendly human beings who
I encountered at the bars 688, The Bistro and Margaritaville.
At one show, I was crumpling my spent beer cans, and flinging them at the singer, figuring that a fight would somehow ensue, but instead the guy came out and shook my hand. Weird, I thought. Several weeks later, at a club called Margaritaville I was sitting at a table with a notebook, and a pen, having decided, almost nine years later to not listen to what my father had said to me about being a writer.
----------------------
The other day, in the bookstore, a little girl looked up at me and told me,
that I, "looked like Santa." I have a white beard, so I can see where she was coming from. I am surprised that I don't hear that more. Maybe most little kids just keep what they are thinking to themselves.
"Don't talk to strangers…" Isn't that what most of us were taught?
I decided to have fun with the little girl, so I smiled at her, and said, "Well, yes I am Santa, but it is August, and since it is August and not December, you have to give me a present."
She squealed, and said, "No waaaaaaaaaaaay"
Her father, she, and I all laughed. I'm glad that this white beard can come in handy for something other than just growing old with!
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I try to treat all people equal, I really do, but sometimes, this is hard, like in the case of a woman who walks into the coffee shop who I think is attractive. Stuttering, and stammering is not treating her equal.
I get a lot of requests at the coffee counter for water, especially in the summer. I suppose that I could give attitude to these people or even say no because they are putting no money in the register and no money in my tip jar. But why? I often ask for what when I'm out and isn't it that what goes around comes around. Frazzled homeless guys, with huge backpacks, and weary looks in their eyes should receive the same love that georgeous woman who I would like to date receives, in my humble opinion.
It is when someone starts acting out, or acting up that I change my all people are equal behavior to them, and, sometimes, the homeless guy turns out to be way more polite than the gal that caught my eye.
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I learned from the last kid, how little time a kid will spend with me, once they become a teenager. It seemed almost instantaneous that when my son became a teenager that he disappeared from my life, other than for momentary pitstops,
and the necessary sleep overs, that is him sleeping over at the house where he allegedly lived.
Scout is doing the same thing, now; she called me when she got out of school to say that she was going to the grocery store with some friends, and then she was stopping by my house, and then they were going to the park to have a picnic. She was here long enough to change clothes.
The thing is
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I like drugs I don't like the consequences of using them, though
If one pill makes you feel good, then two pills ought to make you feel twice as good. I know that that this is twisted logic, but I find myself thinking it, often,
now that I have arthritis, and take medicine for it.
I am not good with pain, and this arthritis thing that I have been inflicted with has brought a great deal of pain to my table, or to my left hip specifically, and mostly. The doctor said that hip replacement surgery "was imminent," the last time that I was in his office. "You need to lose weight," he also said. I don't know how it happened, but since I quit drinking, I ballooned up to almost 300 pounds.
My weight is responsible for my arthritis, and for my diabetes. Being a large man is not good for the quality of your existence, and it robs you of years that you could have been hugging, and hanging out with the great-grandkids.
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I was having a chat with a friend about the old days. He was saying how booze just warmed him up for drugs, which is where he felt most happy, high, and I was telling him how I had done all the drugs, or most of them, but that booze was my drug of choice. I like pot, speed, LSD, cocaine, mescaline and mushrooms.
Can I feel my dog's pain?
A wasp somehow found its way into this home. I thought about letting it live, you know a karma-like action where all living things have an equal right to life, but then I thought about the wasp stinging me in the middle of the night, in my bed, and that was it: I nailed the wasp with a fly swatter, and sent it hurling into the wall, where it then fell onto the floor near where my dog Bundy hangs out all the time, and I wondered if the thing lived if it would sting Bundy, and then I started thinking about the pain that Bundy would be in, and realized that no matter how much I might want to, I could not feel Bundy's pain if he was unfortunate enough to get stung by wasp, if he had had lived.
This is probably stupid thinking to have going on in my brain. I mean, certainly, such thought is not going to pay any rent, nor put any groceries in the refrigerator for me. Such thought is not going to create even a penny towards the expensive dog food that I feed my dogs. I am tired though; that is my excuse. My faculties are not fully functioning, and I am susceptible to some lower level thinking.
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Your dog pissed on my shoe
Somehow, five of the little soft cat treats that I reward my cats my cats with for doing absolutely nothing out of the ordinary, came out of the bottle, onto my hand, and then onto the floor. I looked down at them, and thought for a second if the cat would be ok eating three more treats than he is usually allotted. Sure, I said to myself, he will not eat more than he is capable of.
Well, a minute ago I heard that cat making alien noises, and I looked over to see the cat puking on the kitchen floor. No more than two treats, I have learned the hard way, for I am going to have to clean that cat puke off the floor.
I had another sill to clean up, earlier in the evening. Bundy was so excited to see a friend of mine, who had dropped by to share some pizza with me, that he peed not only on the carpet, but he peed on one of my friend's shoes.
"I can't believe it," she kept saying, "I really can't believe it. Your dog pissed on my shoe."
Morisson gets to the cat puke before I do. He eats most of it, while I am in the bathroom, but doesn't get to lick it all off the floor because he is scared of getting caught. Morisson knows that I don't like my dogs eating cat puke, any more than I like them eating cat poop, but he is a dog, and it is hard for him to resist a little snack like regurgitated soft cat treats. I don't bother scolding him. The secret lies with me: don't overfeed cat treats to the cat. It produces a weird chain reaction
that is not acceptable. It is simple not acceptable.
Morisson has some weird behaviors, for one he is very needy, and will attach himself to anyone who comes to visit. I really think that if someone broke into the house while Morisson was home that he would fix them a cup of coffee, and help carry out the television to the crook's car. I really do. Morisson is also very scared of storms. When thunder and lightening arrive, Morrisson starts breathing very intensely like he is having a panic attack. If I am puttering about the abode, Morisson will glue himself to me, and walk every inch of the way that I walk about the house. If I am sleeping, Morisson will stand next to the bed and pant so intently, and loudly that I will let him up on the bed. Once on the bed he rolls over to me, getting as close as he can. I think that it is funny how he sees me as his savior from the storm.
(The skies are making noise, and Morisson is scared; he follows me everywhere I go, and when I sit down, he curls in the fetal position at my feet. Morisson does not like storms, they give him severe panic attacks. Morisson, baby, it's going to be o.k. Daddy loves you, and, yes, you can sleep on the bed tonight, but only tonight.)
Morisson came to me as a runaway. Some folks who lived in the same apartment complex as I had run across him, as he had been running about a neighborhood not too far from mine. They were looking for a home for him, and a guy who I knew, knew that I would take Morisson. At the time, I had two dogs. I said no, and then I looked at the dog, again. He so incredibly beautiful that I could not turn him down. Morisson ran away from me around fifteen times, one time even jumping out of the car as we were nearing home.
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I don't much remember my dreams. I have them, fairly often, but when I wake up in the morning, they are not with me. When I was a little kid, I didn't want to be
a fireman, or a cop. I think, briefly, I thought that I wanted to be a professional basketball player, but I never really believed that I would be good enough. I never believed that I would be good enough for anything, and yet I had this supreme confidence that I had it all going on, that it would all work out.
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I don't remember my first boner; am I supposed to? I do remember my mother finding my collection of pictures of women with no clothes on, that I had stashed in a bottom drawer of one of the bureaus in my bedroom. Now what the hell was my mother looking around for naked girl pictures?
Gosh, she was pissed.
Here she and my father had paid for Catholic school for five years, with no immoral incidents, and I get to public school, and within months, I have degenerated into the type of child who finds it necessary to bring pictures of unclothed women into her home.
I remember thinking that I couldn't see the big deal. Other kids that I hung around with had such collections, also. I was twelve, and was curious about the opposite sex. Put me on a cross and crucify me; please.
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PART 3
There was a time in my life when I was as destructive as I was creative. I can see the roots of this, and if I was still into blaming other people and things outside of myself for things that I do, and things that I have done
I could see the roots of this, and point to these roots and say, yes, this is why I did what I did. But, I did what I did because of who I am, and I accept full responsibility for it, all of it; it is a part of who I am, and was. I am lucky not to have died during that period of my life, or worse, have killed someone else.
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These are times when we especially have to be happy for what we have. So many people are living with so much less than they have lived with. Less jobs, less houses, less cars.
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Elongated boxes that commissioned sales people sold to your crying loved one playing on their guilt: the deceased was really into Van Halen, weren't they? Don't you think that you should put a radio in their casket, and tune it to an FM Classic Rock Station? That will keep the deceased happy… supplied with Dave and Sammy for life.
It seems kind of stupid to you, and a waste of money, but the salesperson is convincing, talking about the spirit world, and how our soul carries on, as if our soul is going to carry on in that little box that he has just sold your wife or husband, or gay lover, whatever the situation may be, because we should all realize by now that there are a lot of situations outside of, "The Leave It To Beaver" set up.
Ted Kennedy just got caught sneaking out of Purgatory. He told the angel who caught him that Kennedys have a deal with God where they go straight to heaven no matter what they did on Earth.
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Dude; Quaalude?
Many of us who survived the '70's have Quaalude stories to tell. Someone just told me that it took nine of them to kill Jimi Hendrix. Some people would take half of one and pass out. I only took one in my life. I had met this girl the sunny Southern town of Orlando, where I had wandered with my tails between my legs from Tallahassee, the non-graduate looking for a job, fully willing to represent to potential employers that he had the degree. This girl and I were in her hotel room, doing the wild thing. I woke up the next morning, and the young lady was giving me the evil eye, she was giving me dirty looks, she was looking at me like I was a piece of dog turd on the bottom of her high heels.
"What?" I said.
"You fell asleep on top of me while we were making love."
Oops.
I didn't know what to say. I was over six feet tall, and she was about four eleven.
"Sorry," was what I tried.
That mellowed her a bit.
I was never around Quaaludes again, and I can't say that I regret that. I have always taken my love making very seriously.
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Man of excesses
You stop one thing, among other reasons, because you know that it is going to kill you, and then another thing shows up that you have to get control of, or it is going to kill you. I got tired of waking up covered in blood, and puke, in jail cells. I knew that such a path was leading to some serious trouble; one of the real possibilities of which was my death. I also wanted to be a father to my second son, not some sort of ludicrous drunken figure waltzing in every once in awhile when he wasn't in Club Land trying to be some sort of a combination of Axl Rose, Mick Jaggar, and Jim Morrisson.
So, I had like five years sober, no booze no drugs, and I realized that I was coughing a lot, and that I was reaching for a cigarette the first thing in the morning, no matter what time morning came, and no matter whether I wanted a cigarette or not.
It was a habit, and it was a habit that I realized was killing me. I hacked the nasty bronchitis cough all the time. phlegm in my throat my constant companion. I knew that emphysema was next. I had to quit. I just had to fucking quit. I had tried before and had failed, but I had never quit while I was sober. Since I had quit drinking, I knew that I was capable of quitting something that was bad for me, and that meant that I could quit cigarettes.
I wish that I could say that I made it the first time I tried with all this new resolve, but I didn't. I think I tried five or six times before I made it, but each time I tried I learned something that was contributed to the final victory.
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"We want the world, and we want it now…"--James Douglass Morrison
From the Door's song, "When the music's over."
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I wonder if ants have the right to life. I feed a cat named Monkey, who lives outside my house, and around the neighborhood, and I was just passing by his bowl, and it was full of ants. My first thought was to get some water, and wipe
the ants out of existence; how dare they foul Monkey's bowl, and then I thought, are they really hurting anything, running about in the bowl feeding on the microscopic left overs that Monkey didn't have for breakfast. I am not sure of
the answer to this question, but I went through the same frame of mind when it came to the carpenter bees that the dogs, and I, found ourselves cohabiting our front porch with in the spring. I thought of calling the landlord, and asking him to call the terminator man, but then I realized that that the bees, the dogs, and I had been successfully sharing the porch for weeks, so why should I get greedy, or act on some weir fear that had no basis. The carpenter ants were doing nothing bad to either me or my dogs; in fact I had gotten used to their constant buzzing, and had come to find it therapeutic to some extent. One of the bees always hovered by the front door entrance to the patio; I referred to him as Ed, and told people who stopped by that he was our doorman. I look forward to seeing the bees, next spring, but I am not sure what I am going to do about the ants if they are lurking
in Monkey's bowl in the morning when I come out to deposit her morning meal in the bowl.
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Mikel K Poet August 4 at 10:18am
The pain on the side where Dr. Koch said that a, "hip replacement was imminent," is near constant: in bed, at my desk, walking, on my bike. The pill that I am taking is naproxen 500 MG twice a day. Is there something more effective for the pain?
Also, what were the names of the drugs that you said could replace the risperdal and not be so fat inducing? I take 0.5 one tablet in the morning and two of those at night.
Thank you for you help.
K
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My parents wanted me to be a straight A kid, but I didn't have it in me. I was just a bit lazy, and couldn't close the deal so my grades hovered in the middle of B's and A's, for the most part. I try to do the best that I can, in most everything that I do. There have been things that I have been slack at, like some jobs where I thought that the boss man thought I was his slave. I spent a lot of time at the water fountain, and in the bathroom at those kind of jobs.
Is it a good thing to put pressure on your kid to succeed, to be top of his class?
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Hey!
I'm sorry we missed each other today. I went from the "big house" home and then to Caribou! I missed our time together today, I will have to come by for a visit sometime soon, maybe do some "porch sittin'".
I really appreciate all the listening and sharing that you did, you can't imagine all the good I have gotten from knowing you.
lulu,
Some mornings I have hot tea with milk instead of coffee.
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what i have been thru the past two weeks would kill anyone. and i just might be dead.
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"That which doesn't kill us only makes us grow stronger," and "It is always darkest before the dawn," and, "Something good always comes out of something bad; often you have to look for it." These little sayings have helped me through very troubling times in my life. I wish they could do the same for you.
Also," Lord, thy will be done not mine, thy will be not mine, guide me in thought, word, and action, Lord," help me, also
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Me: I think that the devil is a concept meant to keep men and women in order.
I believe more in free choice, than some sort of inherent evil, or evil being lurking in us
Her: Ha. Do you have a girlfriend? I'm nosy.
Me: Speaking of The Devil…no, I don't, will you be my girlfriend?
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serial killers smile at you to get you in the car…
Ted Bundy killed a friend of mine. I was one of the last people to see her alive.
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I'm a poet. Did I tell you that. Right now, I'm writing about 300 poems a month.
I've written 10,000 poems in the last three years. Do you like poetry? There isn't much money it. When you tell the parents of a girl that you are dating, or who you want to date that you are a poet, they look at you as if you had just told them that you have aids. When you are out of earshot they get sarcastic with the young lady who you are seeing, their daughter, and say things like, "Does he make a lot of money doing that?" and, "How much money did he get for the last poem that he wrote?"
I'm really not bitter about this. Parents want what is best for their daughters for the most part. Of course they are, sometimes, misguided too. Whose to say that a broke poet won't treat their daughter better than a millionaire?!
I used to be bitter about it though, and I developed a policy of not interacting with the young lady's parents. It's probably a good policy until I sell as many poetry books as Billy Collins and Charles Bukowski.
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I opened the drawer where I keep the cat treats, and Kobain came running. I also keep my silverware in that drawer, so Kobain knows that when the silverware rattles the he might be able to get a treat. The cat is sitting under the drawer, and next to the trashcan. I have just emptied a cake packet into a bowl to mix. I have the supposedly empty package in my hands. I throw it in the trashcan, and a cloud of fine chocolate dust rains down on Kobain. He didn't expect that, and neither did I. He runs off. I'll have to give him two treats next time.
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A cake with a sugar substitute in it, does not taste as good as a cake with sugar, and eggs, and milk or water. It really doesn't. It is dry and tasteless, but as a diabetic, I try every little trick in the book that I can come up with to keep from going over the edge.
One toke over the line, sweet Jesus, one toke over the line
Sittin' downtown in a railway station, one toke over the line
Waitin' for the train that goes home, sweet Mary
Hoping that the train is on time
Sittin' downtown in a railway station, one toke over the line
They didn't say one "token" over the line, but when I was a kid and this song came out, I didn't yet know what a "toke" was. I thought that Brewer and Shipley in their song, "One Toke Over the Line," were talking about stress, and I related to the song for that reason. I was stressed in school. I was stressed in sports. My parents were stressing me out about nearly everything.
I also like the harmonies in this song. I like the way the two men sang together. It was cool. It created an infectious groove that I dug.
Who do you love, I hope it's me
I've been changing, as you can plainly see
I felt the joy and I learned about the pain that my mama said
If I should choose to make it part of me
Would surely strike me dead, and now I'm
Love? Did I know anything about love when this song came out? I was beginning to be aware of the girls in my school in a different way than I had before. I was relating to them differently, but "Love?" I think not.
In second grade there was a cute little blonde girl who sat in front of me. Somehow, we started playing footsies. She would read her feet back, and I would reach my feet forward and there we were. One day I rode my bike over to her house, and we hung out. I guess that was my first date. It would be seven years before I went on my next one, in the ninth grade, and that would not go as well as the one I had with the cute little blonde girl in the second grade; funny how that goes.
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I'm not sure where I am with this book. Are you following me. Am I running around too much, going backwards, and forwards, and then sideways without meaning? I hope not.
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George Harrison lives through You Tube. "Here comes the sun," he sings at 3 a.m. to me, here in Atlanta, Georgia. I feel lucky to be alive; to be alive and listening to Mr. Harrison sing about the sun is a good thing. George Harrison always calms me. George Harrison always makes me feel good about living. George Harrison always makes me feel good about life.
"Here Comes the Sun" was written at the time when Apple was getting like school, where we had to go and be businessmen: 'Sign this' and 'sign that'. Anyway, it seems as if winter in England goes on forever, by the time spring comes you really deserve it. So one day I decided I was going to sag off Apple and I went over to Eric Clapton's house. The relief of not having to go see all those dopey accountants was wonderful, and I walked around the garden with one of Eric's acoustic guitars and wrote "Here Comes The Sun".
--Wikipedia
I think that it is beautiful that Harrison was able to reach inside of himself and come up with such a beautiful song, one that is inspiring and full of light, when his life was a bit dark at the time. I think that we all have this ability. It is like when someone asks me how I am doing.
If I say that I am not doing well, then that sets up a vicious cycle whereby I will not feel good. I will, in effect, "not be doing well," because I set myself up to feel that way, and act in such a manner.
But, if I say that I am doing good, I set up a positive cycle. "Here Comes The Sun," sets up a positive cycle, and I really admire that. I admire Harrison's ability to write about the good in life, even when he is not feeling all that good.
Here comes the sun (du dn du du)
Here comes the sun
Its alright
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In my search for love as a person, and in my search for inspiration as a poet, I opened a chat room on AOL called, "Poet Seeks Muse." I met some really wonderful people through this room, and I found love, and I found inspiration.
Poet Seeks Muse…
OnlineHost: *** You are in "Romance - Poet Seeks Muse". ***
SweetOne has entered the room.
SweetOne: hello Mikel
SweetOne: I do hope you find your Muse...have a good evening
SweetOne: most times our Muse is Life...and sometimes the heart of a perfect stranger
SweetOne: take care
OnlineHost: SweetOne has left the room.
WindnWater: can you hear the stars shine tonight?
WindnWater: you have a way of sharing yourself forever ;)
WindnWater: keep smiling love
Have you ever noticed that although email providers on the internet provide a button that you can push that says, "Spam," that your Spam Mail never goes away; it keeps coming back, and back. What's up with that?
I have this circular fan that I keep by my desk in the summer. It blows cool air that keeps me comfortable in the heat. A few minutes ago, I turned the fan off the first time in months; it was making me cold. Summer is leaving us; soon her heat will be replaced by cold.
As soon as I sat down in my chair at my desk, this morning, my dog Morisson stuck his nose in my hand. He was trying to pull my hand off of the chair, and get me to show him affection. I toyed with him, this morning, fighting his nose with my hand, refusing to give into his wants. It is a game we play, and he likes it, almost as much as he likes my hand rubbing his head, and body.
Without the fan, I don't have the white noise that I have had for months, and I can hear just about everything that my neighbors are doing. I will turn the fan back on, just point it in a different direction. It is not my desire to know what my neighbors are up to.
It is a Sunday morning, and it is raining outside. Whenever it rains, I want to play the song, "Riders On The Storm," by The Doors. The introduction to the song, seems, somehow, appropriate to the weather. There are a lot of people in church this morning. I have not gone to church since I was nineteen. I had the thought, that God sent this Sunday morning rain to cleanse the world. This rain would be a start over rain. We would all have a fresh slate, without having to go in a booth, kneel down, and tell someone what we have done that that man and his religion would find inappropriate.
Do all religions have confessor mechanisms? I will have to Google it, and find out.
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The dogs are not interested in ice cubes, today,
Morisson because there is a storm outside,
and Bundy because I don't know why.
The dogs usually love ice cubes, they catch them
in mid air and treat them as if they were any other
snack.
They bite them, they chew chem, they finish them
and come back for another one; normally.
Maybe Bundy is not interested in ice this morning
because Morisson is not interested in ice this morning.
Sometimes, two dogs act as one, somewhat, I have learned.
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This guy sent me a video. In it he took a sip from a glass of something, and grimaced, "Bourbon," he said. And, then, he said something to the extent of, "We're back together after five months sober, a period of irreparable harm." I have never heard a drunk call a period of sobriety something like that. I have heard drunks say that it was hard as hell to stay sober for that long. I have heard a drunk say he was thankful for staying sober that long. I have heard a drunk say that he relapsed after a period that long, but I have never heard of any length of sobriety referred to as a "period of irreparable harm."
The "irreparable harm," usually comes after the relapse, after the period of sobriety, when the drunk has started drinking, again. Maybe this guy is blazing new trails, and will come out with The Bigger Book.
Go figure; you run into something new, just about every day.
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In a comment to this young lady's Face Book, this guy said that he could really us some more bikini pictures. I almost wrote on there that I could use some bikini pictures, myself, but really that would do me no good. Like Bruce Springsteen said in one of his songs, " I just want someone to talk to. And a little of that Human Touch." I don't want pictures of you in a bikini.
You and me we were the pretenders
We let it all slip away
In the end what you don't surrender
Well the world just strips away
Girl, ain't no kindness in the face of strangers
Ain't gonna find no miracles here
Well you can wait on your blesses my darlin'
But I got a deal for you right here
I ain't lookin' for praise or pity
I ain't comin' 'round searchin' for a crutch
I just want someone to talk to
And a little of that Human Touch
Just a little of that Human Touch
Ain't no mercy on the streets of this town
Ain't no bread from heavenly skies
Ain't nobody drawin' wine from this blood
It's just you and me tonight
Tell me, in a world without pity
Do you think what I'm askin's too much
I just want something to hold on to
And a little of that Human Touch
Just a little of that Human Touch
We get less and less human touch these days. We have email, instant messages, cell phones, text messages on our phones, all kinds of communication devices that don't really bring us closer together. How many times have you seen people in a bookstore, or a coffee shop, or a grocery store standing right next to each other, and both of them are on a cell phone? It is a weird statement about the status of interpersonal communication in our world, today. Now excuse me, I have to check my email.
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I busted out a sweater, a pair of sweat pants, and a pair of full length socks, this morning. It has gotten cold, here in Atlanta, Ga. Last year I turned on the heater, when it got cold, and the bill was unbearable. This year I'm going to go with warm clothing, and space heaters, and see how that suits the animals and I.
I opened one of the twenty nine cent wet cat food cans, this morning. The cats did not miss a beat in chowing down, once I placed their bowls on the floor, so I feel safe to say that they see no difference between the cheap kind, and the expensive kind of canned cat food. It is not their main meal, the little scoop of wet cat food in the morning is just a treat. I keep a bowl of high quality dry cat food on top of the drier at the end of the hall that leads to the bathroom. It is hidden behind a big jug of liquid clothes detergent, the kind that is supposed to be better for the environment. I had to put the jug in front of the cats' dry food because, of course, Bundy was getting up on his front legs and helping himself to hefty portions of it.
Bundy, and Morisson, were also both helping themselves to ample amounts of cat poop, when we first moved into this apartment. I wasn't particulary concerned about it, besides feeling rather grossed out, until someone told me that the dogs could get really sick from eating cat poop, and that it would lead to expensive operations for me. I really want to stay away from all of that, my dogs getting sick, and my dogs costing me big money.
I put a storage container over the cat litter box, and cut a hole in it small enough for the cats to get in and out of, but too small for the dogs to stick their nose in. I also put the fear of God in the dogs anytime that they wandered near the bathroom. I think that the combination of the two methods has worked. I don't need no cat poop eating dogs in my house.
When you have duo animals, as I do, two dogs, two cats, and two turtles, you sometimes worry if one animal is eating more than the other, if one animal is getting starved out any. Sometimes, I will find Bundy in Morisson's bowl, and I will yell over at him, "Hey, Bundy get out of there, that's not yours."
On the other hand, Morisson will, sometimes, sneak in the closet where Bundy's food is kept,
and eat Bundy's leftovers. The same goes for my cats, Kobain, and Jaggar. These two will go back and forth from each other's bowl in the morning, freely eating from both bowls. I guess that the dogs and cats know what they are doing, as do the turtles, who I particularly worry about, sometimes, because one turtle, Rue Paul, the female, is way larger than the other, Prynce, the male.
I guess that the process is like humans eating together. A male and a femlel living in happy matrimony, or a couple gleefully living in sin, figure out how to eat together don't they? I have never heard of a reason for divorce to be he or she ate more than me!!
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I woke up hungry this morning, but first I wanted to check my blood. Most mornings I prick my finger with this device that looks like a small pen, and then I drop some blood onto a little strip of paper, that I have already placed inside this meter that will give me a reading.
This morning, my reading was 105, which is good, especially realizing that I have not been doing any exercise, recently. I have not been swimming. I have not been to Yoga. I have not walked the dogs, or ridden my bicycle outside of the short distance that it takes to get to work. I ride the bike to work, when I work, because it is far easier on my body to ride a bike, these days, due to my arthritis, than it is to walk.
Arthritis and diabetes are the two gifts that God, and my parents gave me. I really don't say this cynically; I am trying to reach out and have an attitude of gratitude in the face of adversity. The diabetes should cause me to eat right, and exercise because I know that if I don't I could lose my legs, and die.
The arthritis is a bitch though.
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I give you a poem
in lieu of a mortgage payment.
I give you a poem
instead of a new car.
I give you a poem
instead of vacations
to lands near and far.
I give you a poem
instead of fancy dinners.
that my poem will feed you.
I can not promise that
I will need you more than
I need my poems.
I cannot promise you anything
but another poem.
--Mikel K
That's the thing about being a poet, at least at my level of the game. You don't have a lot besides the poem to offer.
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There are two chores in this home that I particularly procrastinate on: changing the kitty litter, and changing the turtles' water, and neither one of them is that much of a chore, once you get down to it. With the turtles' water, I have to get the water our, clean out the aquarium and the stones that line its bottom, and then fill the aquarium with clean water. Changing the kitty litter is, usually, just a matter of dumping out the old litter, and adding new litter, if I have done my jog right in lining the kitty container with newspaper.
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Some thoughts become ideas, and some ideas become poems.
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I'm sittin' in my room, I'm starin' out my window
And I wonder where you've gone
Thinking back on the happy hours just before the dawn
Outside the wind is blowin
It seems to call your name again
Where have you gone
City streets and lonely highways
I travel down
My car is empty and the radio just seems to bring me down
Im just tryin to find me
A pretty smile that I can get into
Its true, Im lost without you
I used to love The Doobie Brothers, and this was my favorite song by them.
"Another Park Another Sunday," is one of those great broken heart songs, that I didn't immediately recognize as a broken heart song, because it seems to me to have bits of optimism in it.
I'm just trying to find me
A pretty smile that I can get into
Tom Johnston hasn't been kicked in the balls. He is down, but he is not out.
I'm not in love, so don't forget it
It's just a silly phase I'm going through
And just because I call you up
Don't get me wrong, don't think you've got it made
I'm not in love, no-no
(It's because...)
I like to see you, but then again
That doesn't mean you mean that much to me
So if I call you, don't make a fuss
Don't tell your friends about the two of us
I'm not in love, no-no
(It's because...)
(Be quiet, big boys don't cry)
(Big boys don't cry)
I found a picture of you, oh oh oh oh
What hijacked my world that night
To a place in the past
We've been cast out of? oh oh oh oh
Now were back in the fight
Were back on the train
Oh, back on the chain gang
I never made it to the chain gang; thankfully.
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I love it, in the morning, when the cats are sitting dutifully next to each other, sitting at attention next to their empty food bowls, waiting for me to scoop the bows up, and put some morning wet food snack in the bowls for them. There is
something beautiful in this, something that makes me feel wanted, and loved.
The dogs always gather around the hand of mine that seems to be dangling off of the bed, when I wake in the morning. They expect to be petted, and played with while I am still semi-asleep. Most mornings, I honor their request. I make one hand pet two dog heads, and it makes them happy. This morning, though I woke with one foot dangling off of the bed. The dogs did not care that my foot was not a hand. They rubbed their heads into it anyway. I found this weird.
I learned a new thing about Monkey, the basically straw cat, who I feed breakfast every morning, and snacks every evening. Monkey does not come get his food when I blow kisses, as I had thought; Monkey comes running to our door the minute that I come out of our inner door. She hears that door open, and that is her cue that something good is about to be put in her bowl.
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Don't leave eggs boiling while you go off to take a nap. The smell of the burning eggs, and the cracking of their shells in the bowl thankfully woke me before the oven caught on fire. Besides that, burnt eggs are not tasty.
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Wordmanmikelk : How are you today?
RedHiHeels: Good
RedHiHeels: What are u looking for
Wordmanmikelk: Love
Wordmanmikelk : What have you got?
RedHiHeels: Oh thought u wanted something else
RedHiHeels: my body online
Wordmanmikelk: You're a porn site?
RedHiHeels: What do u mean
Wordmanmikelk: You said your body online.
Wordmanmikelk: What do you mean?
RedHiHeels: Oh well I thought that you were using your imagination
Wordmanmikelk: I am
RedHiHeels: Well I am good with words
Wordmanmikelk: I can tell
RedHiHeels: Now how can you be so certain
Wordmanmikelk: You just know certain things
BlackHiHeels34 [5:54 P.M.]: Yes I'm sure that's true; why did you IM me?
Wordmanmikelk [5:54 P.M.]: Because you IM'd me, yesterday
BlackHiHeels34 [5:54 P.M.]: I don't recall the room
Wordmanmikelk [5:54 P.M.]: Literary Endeavors
BlackHiHeels34 [5:54 P.M.]: oh yeah
Wordmanmikelk [5:56 P.M.]: Well, have a nice afternoon
RedHiHeels signed off at 5:59 P.M
What was she after. Did she find it. People exist in a parallel universe when they are in cyberspace, when they are in chat rooms, when they ar in instant message conversations. For some, reality stops, and I don' t just mean for those who are into role playing.
Perhaps, I am not much different. When I firt
-------------------------
It is a very good cup of coffee that I take a sip of, this morning, at 4:14 a.m. I can't sleep, and have been unable to sleep for the past couple of hours. My left leg has been bothering me, and the pain of it, in combination, I believe with this new pill that I am on have served to send me into the kitchen to make a cup of coffee, and have sent me to this desk to write. The leg doesn't hurt, now that I have gotten it in a different position. My arthritis is like that. I have to baby it. I have to pamper it, at times to get the least pain out of it.
The new pill that I am on…
--------------------------------
They have until the fifth of the month
to remove the things that you called yours
from the little box that you called home.
That gives those who loved you seventeen days
to remove your material things.
What will they keep what will they throw away?
You are in a new box, now, they slowly
descended it into the ground, yesterday,
and you are on your way to wherever it
is that you are going, most likely no worries,
about the people and things you left behind.
--Mikel K
One of my dearest friends, one of the men who I respect the most on thsi planet, both as a human being, and as an artist, is going to die. His wife broke the news to me yesterday, after reading the above poem that I wrote. I cannot remember what motivated me to write the poem, but I see now the reason for it. It was a conduit to my great friend, Clark Vreeland, and I, via his wife Beth. If I had not written this poem, I might not have found out about Clark's cancer until a much later stage of it. Clark is a private person. We do not see each other a lot. I do not know if I will start seeing him a lot, now. I am unsure how to react to this news. I feel helpless. I love this man, and I am losing him. The earth is losing him.
I went to visit my grandson, last night, and a neat side benefit of seeing young Elliot is that I get to see most of the rest of my family also.
Elliot's grandmother, G2, was there full of love, not only for her grandson, but also for me her ex,-live in sin, and Kevin her ex-husband. She sounded very happy, and optimistic when she said that she was going to find a cure for my arthritis, and for Kevin's cluster headaches.
Cluster headaches require miracles that have not yet been sent from Heaven to be abated when one is unemployed and does not have insurance. The matter is further complicated because now that he has lost his job, when he gets a new one and gets new insurance, his headaches will be looked upon as a pre-existing
condition.
Ain't life unkind.
I don't know if there is a cure for my arthritis. Hip replacement surgery would help the pain in that are of my body, but I don't know if my insurance would cove it.
Little Elliot was not worried about any of this, though. He was very happy to pull on my white beard, when he was handed to me for my time with him. I tickled his feet, made him laugh , and he made me laugh just by being with me bouncing on my lap.
There are amazing gifts that enter into your life, that you neither ask for, nor expect. Becoming a grandfather was one of those gifts.
------------------------------------------
My left hip is giving me a great deal of pain, this morning. Though I try to ignore it, the pain overrides everything. It overrides the writing that I am trying to do. It overrides the hot tea that I am thinking about making. It overrides the pleasant thoughts that I am having about a visit that my family and I had to see my grandson, last night. The pain overrides everything.
The new pill, abilify, makes me hyper, where the old pill, risperidone, calmed me down. I changed pills because abilify is supposed to make me retain less weight than risperidone, and I am concerned about every pound that I carry due to my arthritis, and diabetes. It is funny how a pill can affect your mood. Several weeks ago, when I was on the risperidone, I ran out of it for several days and my old angry, depressed mood returned to me, right away. These were moods that I had lived with for years, before I got help.
------------------------
I had the worst dream, last night. In it someone had called the police and was going to have me arrested. I had not been arrested in almost 20 years.
I hit someone in a dream last night, and they called the police. For most of the dream, I waited for the police, knowing that I had done wrong, but trying to talk
the guy who I hit out of having me arrested. He wasn't having it. I had done wrong, and he loved having the power over me that he now had. It took me a long time to learn that you can't hit people, that you will be locked up for doing such.
As a kid, I was taught by my father to hit people, to settle differences between them and me. Garbage in. Gargage out.
------------------------------------------------
Sometimes I wish I could get high and just slide into another head seat for a couple hours and write there. Sometimes what I am doing straight up just seems so boring. Come to think of it, though, when I was getting high, I never produced
even one poem. Getting high was getting high, and writing is writing. For me, the two don't mingle. I was told by "them" that getting high would send me back to my drug of choice, which is alcohol, and I believe this. I would not be happy just getting high; I would have to get fucked up and ruin my life, once again. I am sure that this would happen, like I am sure that if I stepped off a very high cliff that I would fall to my death.
A very good friend of mine is dieing. He has inoperable liver cancer. It is funny how you feel sorry for yourself when someone you love is dieing. You think about all the pain that you are going through, and all the pain that you will go through, as the person goes through what they must go through to leave this earth. You don't much think about the pain that they are going through, and the pain that they will be going through. Their impending death is all about you, or, at least all about me, in the case of my good friend, and musical partner Clark Vreeland.
It is Labor Day Weekend. I just posted this headline to my Face Book page:
We're not as good looking as our Face Book Head Shots; at least I'm not: take that out to your Labor Day Weekend with you. Someone asked me what I'm doing this weekend...nothing, absolutely nothing, like I always do, and I like it that way. I hate having something to do. Billy Fields aka Rev Reb will be glad to know that I just cleaned the turtles's tank. The turtles are glad, also.
NYCbabe929228 [5:31 P.M.]: Want to meet someone online? Don't sit around on the computer! Get laid this weekend @ http://lnk.bz/1dc
I spend too much time on Face Book, just like I used to spend too much time on My Space until Rupert kicked me off. I was one of those kids who liked to get his name in the school paper, one of those kids who liked to get other kids to sign his year book. Face Book is perfect for social net workers like me. It also works for me as a poet, because it gives me a place to post my poems, and people to read them. I'm writing about between 200 and 300 poems a month, and I attribute that to the "live" audience that I know that I am writing to on Face Book. I enjoy the comments that I get from people, some of them halfway around the world. Their comments are not my reason to write, but certainly the fact that I know that they are reading them gives the whole process a kick in the butt. Writing can be a lonely occupation. People reaching out to you, and saying, yes, this is good stuff, makes it less lonely, though it is still just the laptop and I alone in a room cranking it out.
With God On Our Side," is a Bob Dylan that makes a great deal of sense to me.
And the land that I live in
Has God on its side.
I love The United States of America. I was born here, and I will most likely die here,
but there are some inconsistencies in the truths that we were taught, that Dylan was especially good at pointing out in the 1960's.
And the names of the heroes
I's made to memorize
With guns on their hands
And God on their side.
I was chatting with a woman online, and we were talking about Jim Morrison but I had moved to Dylan on the player.I can listen to some Dylan and it makes me high like The Doors can, take me to some place that drugs and alcohol were supposed to.
Dylan can make me sick, too.
I guess when you kick the songs out as long as he has been kicking him out
that a few along the way are not going please everybody. For my money, The Stones have a much better track record in keeping the hits rolling, though I know that some people will say that it is only the early work of The Stones that matters.
That's how I feel about The Boss. I feel like his creativity basically came to a roaring halt with the song, "Born To Run." The music he made after this might have made him a Superstar, and made him millions, but for me, it is the songs before, and including Born To Run, that made him A Poet. Anyway, who cares what I think, right?
I was unable to keep up with two credit cards, recently. Soon after I missed several payments, I started receiving five to ten phone calls a day from these fine, fine institutions, and, or the fine fine collection agencies who they had sold my debt to. At first, I got pissed off, but then I realized that getting pissed off was useless, and was not going to make these people go away, and neither would talking to them because I did not have a dime to give them.
Most of their numbers started with 888 or 1-8oo, and I decided that the best thing that I could do was to change all their numbers to say, "patience." I did that, and, now, I just smile when they call, and think to myself, "Oh, yes…patience."
By the way, I am up to Patience 15, meaning that I have received calls from 15 different numbers trying to collect on 2 credit cards.
Like I've told you, I'm a poet, so, I guess, that I should share some of my poems with you. These are a couple of my favorites, that I find work well together, both
on the page, and when I read them out.
I Need A Rich Girl
I need a rich girl
to drive my deceased car
to the unemployment line,
so that I can get food stamps,
and avoid a job.
I need a pill that will fill me up,
not with envy.
I need a pill that will make me
feel friendly, not want to kill
I need a friend
in these united states of isolation,
where even hell's angels are afraid
to hitchhike,
where thinking outside the norm
could land you in jail.
I need a reason to go on living,
and I think that my children will do.
We Are The Children
We are the children of the sun
and the stars.
We are the children of the hippies,
who were strung out on peace and love,
and heroin when they conceived us.
We are the children of alcoholics,
conceived in blackouts.
We are the children of the punk rockers,
screwed into this world on beer and anger.
We are the children of the poor,
raised on welfare and food stamps,
and government housing.
We are the children of the middle class,
borrowing from the government to get a college degree,
to get a job with a pension from corporate amerika,
who has already fired our fathers and mothers,
before they could retire.
We are the children of the rich,
who, like our fathers and mothers before us,
care only about obtaining more wealth.
We are the children of the doctors, dentists,
and lawyers, who care more about their Porsches
and Mercedes than they do their patients.
We are the children of the American dream,
roaming the streets with a blanket,
and a garbage bag full of aluminum cans.
We are the children, who now have the children,
and we hope they won't learn racism from us,
like we learned it from our moms and dads.
We are the children who can change the inevitable,
alter our destiny, change the future from futile to
fruitful.
Amen.
PART 4
I hate getting junk mail, and, recently, that is all that I have gotten. I guess that I am a loser. And I mean that I am a loser in The U.S. Mail and I am a loser in my email. All I get in my email are sex propositions from porn sites, and dating services, both of which are looking for money from me. In The U.S. Mail, I only receive ominous looking envelopes filled with threatening correspondence from collection agencies. What a drag. I wish there were some babes in Europe dropping me a line, saying what a great poet I was, how if they lived closer they would like to drop by and meet me.
The Landlady's brother came by the abode today, and cut every spare limb from around the house. He cleared out the three windows in the back of our apartment, and now it is very well lit back there, which is rather nice. I like to see.
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I often won't listen to the band Black Sabbath because Ozzie Osbourne was in the group. What a loser, who so many of you have taken on as a Hero. A hero who did not write, "War Pigs," or any of the other Black Sabbath songs: the bass player, Geezer Butler, did.
A hero would not have married Sharon. A hero would not have let Sharon re-record the music on albums that Ozzie had recorded with other men, because those men would not agree to the lower royalty rate that the former Ms. Arden demanded.
I guess Sharon, and Ozzie, are short a buck out there in Beverly Hills…
"Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne are one of the UK's richest couples, according to the Sunday Times Rich List. They ranked at number 458 in 2005, with an estimated £100 million earned from recording, touring and TV shows. They ranked above most British music stars, such as Rod Stewart, George Michael, Robbie Williams, the Rolling Stones' Charlie Watts and Ronnie Wood, and Pink Floyd, Queen, and Dire Straits members."
--Wikipedia
Sharon makes me sick. She was responsible for charging the unknown bands $75,000 to be on The Drooling Idiot Fest.
Who are my rock heroes? I like Tom Petty, Rollins, and Rue Paul.
A woman from Brasil just said hello to me on Face Book. That is a thing that amazes me about the internet: you can just be sitting in your room, at your desk, and be talking to someone a sea, or so, away. It is mind boggling that world leaders can't get it together to bring us world peace when communication among the masses is now so easy.
-------------------
"I Want To Hold Your Hand," by The Beatles is kind of a violent song, don't you think, or at least a fairly aggressive one? I mean these guys are not trying to sweet talk the ladies by the time this song is over: they are practically demanding that the women hand over their hand.
The song starts off innocently, with a nice instrumental introduction, and sweet harmonies by The Fab Four, but as it progresses the boys seem to get anxious, at first, and then aggressive. Maybe they were the first Punk Rock Band out of England, and not The Sex Pistols.
They might be developing drinking problems but I wouldn't know about it, and if I did there is nothing that I can do to stop them any more than there was anything anyone could do to stop me. I'm talking about my kids; I mean what can you do? You try to teach them what is up, give them some good morals, and then they head out there, usually before you are ready to release them.
I remember the day that my son asked me if he could go out, and I know that he meant out without me for the first time in our lives. I said, "yes," and then when the door shut behind him, I curled into the fetal position and cried for an hour. The game had changed. My son didn't need me in the same manner that he had needed me for fourteen years. He was no longer going to be my constant companion. I had bought him a skate board, and he was now on it,
and was out there, meeting new people, hanging out with people who he already knew.
At the end of my cry, my conclusion was that I was going to have to reinvent myself. I had done it before. The move from Drunk Poet to Sober Dad had been a major invention. What would I come up with this time?
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There is a guy who was just arrested for keeping a girl that he, and or his wife, kidnapped when she was eleven, eleven years, or so, ago. It is coming to light that besides doing seven years in jail for kidnapping and rape, that charges were dropped against him in a similar case, years ago.
How the fuck is this guy out here breathing the same air as the rest of us? They will keep a closer eye on Bernie Madoff because his crime was a crime of money, than they will on some evil deviant.
What the fuck. What the fuck. If you're not going to kill the bastard, because, suddenly, we are some sort of moral society, then please, please, please do not let him out to have access to our children.
Thank you.
People say I'm crazy doing what I'm doing
Well they give me all kinds of warnings to save me from ruin
When I say that I'm o.k. well they look at me kind of strange
Surely you're not happy now you no longer play the game
--John Lennon
People used to say I was crazy, now, like John Lennon did until he was murdered, I watch the wheels turn round and round. They don't say that I'm crazy anymore. Of course, I don't much circulate myself among "them," anymore, and when I do I'm not full of wine, beer, bourbon, and LSD.
Funny how times change; funny how people change; funny how I've changed:
thank God that I did.
People say I'm lazy dreaming my life away
Well they give me all kinds of advice designed to enlighten me
When I tell them that I'm doing fine watching shadows on the wall
Don't you miss the big time boy you're no longer on the ball
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I was never any good at rolling a joint.
For a very brief time, back when I was using, I was buying rolled joints from someone. I forget, now, who they were, or where I was going to get them, but it was a great convenience for me, because I was never able to roll a joint. This also means that I could never roll a cigarette, out of a bag of tobacco, which a lot of folks do to save money. I don't think that this makes me a bad person.
I don't regret my past.
(elaborate…)
------------------------------------------------
And they called it Turtle Love…
One of my turtles, the girl, Rue Paul, is sunning herself on the floating fake rock that sits under a heat lamp in the turtles' aquarium. The other turtle, the male, Prynce, is hanging out on a large rock at the other end of their aquarium. They both look quite satisfied, this morning, having had breakfast, and all.
I am amazed how these two turtles have come to know me, and not be scared of me. Often, they are waiting for me at the end of their aquarium, when I pull back the top to their home to feed them. When anyone else opens the aquarium to feed them, they hide in the back of the rectangle.
Rue just jumped off her rock, and headed over to see what Prynce was up to. I am also amazed with how much time the two turtles spend together. If I could find a love like theirs, I would be a lucky man.
-----------------------------
Someone told me that Porn Stars don't have sex when they are not working…
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"It's not a job, it's something that you have to do."--Tom Petty
I don't spend hours every day with my writing because I have to to make a living. I do it because I love it, I do it because it is in my blood. Kris Kristofferson said something in an interview about how it is the high of creating, and not the money that keeps him at it. I know what he is talking about. There is nothing, and there was nothing, when I was using drugs, and alcohol, that gets me as high as sitting down to the laptop and putting words together.
Nothing.
My brain feels at home when I do this. Everything is comfortable in my existence. I haven't a care in the world, when I am creating.
---------------------------------
Shawtie, our Labor Day weekend guest dog, and Bundy, love to play. I awoke, and got up to write, at 4:30 am, this morning, and the two of them are at it, already, rolling on the floor and growling at each other. I think that having Shawtie here, for a visit, is good for Bundy, because Morisson does not like to play like Shawtie does. Since I got hit with arthritis, in my hips and legs, about two months ago, I have not been able to take the dogs on the three to five mile walks that we were taking. I think that I am at the point in living with my arthritis, though, that I will soon be able to start taking the dogs on shorter walks. I know that they will love that.
The dogs love to walk. Bundy used to mercilessly pull me on the leash,when I first got him, and we first started walking, but, after a great deal of work with him, he became a very decent on leash dog. I'm not sure how he will be when we return to walking. He might need some retraining, just as I have, and will need retraining because of this arthritis.
Morisson has always been good on a leash. Come to think of it, Morisson has almost always been good, in all ways, except for a run away problem that he had when he first became my dog; and by that I mean that Morisson ran away about fifteen times when he first became my dog. Morisson came to me as a runaway, and continued the behavior for quite awhile. He liked to get out there in the neighborhood, and see what was going on. He even jumped out of my car, one day, as we were returning home. My greatest fear about all of that was that one of his runaway away excursions that he would get hit by a car. Fortunately, these days, Morisson knows where home is at, and he stays here with us.
Morisson dreams
My dogs are near veg like me
they eat fish dog food
I eat some fish
no meat for them
they don t fart!!!!
It's my black cat, Jaggar, who usually alerts me to the fact that I need to fill the animals' water dish. Jaggar pushes the empty bowl about the kitchen floor, making a noise that is distinctive and clues me into what I need to do. Jaggar and Bundy are then the first to step up to the bowl and drink them some water. Morisson always goes last. I don't know if that is a spiritual thing on his part, or just a result of the fact that he is meek. The meek shall inherit the earth, Morisson. Yeah, and the rich are going to have to fit through the eye of a needle to get into heaven…
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Can I practice yoga even if I am relatively sedentary and inflexible?
Absolutely. In fact, individuals with limited range of motion or poor flexibility, due to arthritis or otherwise, may benefit the most from yoga practice, as it can increase flexibility, strength, and balance. Even if you are unable to kneel or have difficulty getting up and down, modifications are available. There are some "chair yoga" classes that are taught entirely in a seated position! It may feel a bit disheartening at first when challenges arise, but overcoming such judgments and accepting where you are is an important part of yoga.
A core concept of yoga is to always honor what will allow you to benefit most from the practice. Your yoga teacher will emphasize the importance of always listening to your body, recognizing your current limitations, and approaching your yoga practice from there. Yoga is not competitive, and the focus should not be on how the pose looks (aside from ensuring safe anatomical alignment). It is about experiencing a connection of the body and mind through the breath. While there are some yoga poses that do require a great deal of flexibility, strength, and balance, those poses should only be attempted by very experienced yogis and are NOT for beginners or persons with activity limitations. Again, a good yoga teacher will provide alternatives and modifications to all activities so that students can work within their levels of comfort.
Are there any poses people with arthritis should avoid?
The general rule for arthritis patient (and people in general) is that if it hurts, stop. The old adage of "no pain, no gain" does not apply to yoga, particularly if you have activity limitations. When doing backbends, arthritis patients should keep them relatively small and be aware not to hyper-extend the neck, keeping the head in line with the rest of the spine. For those with arthritis of the hip, be cautious when doing "hip openers" or poses with extreme external rotation of the hips. Generally, you will notice pain if you are going too far with the pose, but sometimes the effects are not felt until the next day. It is important to be gentle with your practice, especially at first. If you do not experience any pain after a few days, you can decide to gradually increase the intensity of the poses.
http://www.hopkins-arthritis.org/patient-corner/disease-management/yoga.html#poses
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Nobody Knows God
Nobody knows God until after The End, until after you have Knocked On Heaven's Door, and been let in. You can read The Bible, you can go to Church, you can pray, and pray for days at a time, but you still won't know God.
Is a little prayer as good as a big prayer? Does God count you more "in" if you pray all day, than if you just give him a quick hello in the morning, and a tired goodbye at night?
Buddhist monks who pray a lot, probably don't have a greater inner track to heaven than the busy mother, who also works twelve hour shifts as a nurse, to support her babies. Just because a Church says that they are the only Church who can get into heaven does not mean that that is true.
How does God view Bernard Madoff versus Phillip Garrido? We don't know, because you can't know God until you are near to being lowered into the earth in your box, or are near being torched.
Nobody knows God. Nobody knows God, while they are alive; I am telling you.
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Mikel K Poet
Belief is fake then; call it faith, and the monks are delusional, perhaps, trying to separate themselves, and their beliefs, and religion from everyone else. I love Buddhism, but found it painful to learn that Buddha blew off a wife and kid, like John Lennon, to go On The Road, like Kerouac said you should.
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Come on baby light my fire…
Around 1984, I was sitting at my desk in this apartment that my live in lover and I lived in writing poetry. I don't know what was wrong with me, but I reached out
with my cigarette lighter, and lit the piece of paper with my poem on it, that was in the typewriter on fire, and sat there as the flames jumped onto the curtains that were on the window in front of my desk. I next remember going into a zombie/non-communicative state. My poor girlfriend didn't know what to do. She made a bunch of phone calls, and the answer seemed to be to take me to the loony bin, something that she didn't want to do, but she didn't know what else to do. Somehow, she got me out of the apartment, into her car, and drove me to a state mental institution, where they checked me in. I realize now that I was on the worst ward, what I call, "The Failed Suicide Ward," because that was what many of the people in that ward were. You had people who had jumped off buildings, and bridges, and lived; you had people who had shot themselves in the head and lived; you had people who had swallowed what they had thought would be enough pills to kill themselves, but they had lived.
Everybody would mill about the day room randomly often bumping into each other and saying, "Hey, have you got a cigarette?" A cigarette seemed to be the only thing that most of us on that ward cared about.
I was really out of it. That was the reason that I was on that ward. I was unable to communicate to the staff who I was. After several days, it all started to come back to me. The person, who interviewed me, asked me if I knew what day it was, and they asked me who The President was. I think that I had trouble with the day, as I sometimes do during even normal times, but I was able to tell the person who The President was.
After about five days, they released me.
At this point, I had gone from an honors high school, and college student to a zombie at The State Mental Ward. It is not the kind of thing that you put a certificate on your wall about. I just kind of blocked it out of my memory, and went back to life as usual: lots of booze, a fair amount of pot, and LSD here and there.
They say that the definition of insanity is, "Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results." Well, I had just spent five days in the Loony Bin, and I was going back to business as usual in my using life: was I not crazy, even though they had let me out?
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"People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that's bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they're afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they're wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It's all in how you carry it. That's what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you're letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.”
--Jim Morrison
I wonder if the Dead Door was talking about arthritic pain. I don't think so. I up wide awake at 3:30 am because arthritic pain in my left hip, and my left leg, has awoken me, and driven me out of the bed.
Someone reacting to one of my internet posts said that, "arthritis was my friend, because it is always with you." When I read that, I thought that she was high, that she was hitting the crack pipe, or something.
My friend?
Arthritis is with me constantly, and I am in near constant pain because it is with me. How can pain be my friend; I'm not involved with BDSM.
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Dear Face Book: Life is change; we must embrace change. Have you got any spare change?!
"Show me how you do that trick
The one that makes me scream" she said
"The one that makes me laugh" she said
And threw her arms around my neck
"Show me how you do it
And I promise you I promise that
I'll run away with you
I'll run away with you"
--The Cure
Searching for my one and only
I went down to the sea and looked for sea shells
I only only
came back with sea weed.
No one gave their love to me.
No one even smiled at me.
I looked up to the heavens
and asked
In a place you only dream of
Where your soul is always free
Silver stages, golden curtains
Filled my head, plain as can be
As a rainbow grew around the sun
All my stars above who died
Came from somewhere beyond the scene you see
These lovely people played just for me
--The Outlaws
I'm drinking decaf tonight, some really nasty decaf that has sat around, unopened, in my cabinets for almost two years. I don't want to drink a cup of full strength, because I will be staring at the ceiling until the sun comes up.
I love the first two lines of the song, "Green Grass and High Tides Forever."
What a beautiful place it must be, "where your soul is always free."
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Dear Facebook: Be all they want you to be.
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"Wait until the war is over,
and we're both a little older."
--The Doors
The Army, Navy, Marines, Air Force scam you just like a vacuum cleaner sales person can, and often does, going door to door. It's all in the sizzle, baby, not the steak.
"You want to make something of your life, don't you? the recruiter says to the young man, or woman with a so sincere smile. You'd like to go to college, wouldn't you? You want to become a real man, a real woman, don't you?" You want to make your parents proud of you, don't you; your God, your Government, your friends, and neighbors?
And the next thing the kid knows, he or she are laying in the sand, or dirt, in a far off land with their arms and their legs gone.
I am blessed to have never had to participate as a soldier in all the wars that have occurred while I have been alive, and looking back, now, I realize that there were quite a few of them, i.e. we are mostly at war, or so it seems. Something saved me from having my life, and limbs challenged, and has let me come to the point where I can sit here at this desk, listening to music, and drinking coffee while bitching about war, man.
I know that there will never be peace on earth; humans are not built for such. There will always be money to be made from sending out kids to fight old men's' battles.
I feel sad about this; I really do.
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"Breakfast where the news is read
Television children fed
Bullet strikes the helmet's head"
--The Doors
You grow up eating their cereal, then you have to go out and fight their war. The cereal did nothing healthy for your body; maybe it was designed to make the consumer not think. Your whole existence boiled down to fighting a war so that McDonald's could be served in places where men ride camels, and women hide their face away. These people don't want a Big Mac, but the people who sell Big Macs have to expand their "markets." So, your son, and daughter, die so that French fries can be sold.
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Take him by the hand
Make him understand
The world on you depends
Our life will never end
--The Doors
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One day, about ten years ago, I was typing a term paper for a class in school, in my bedroom, and a little box popped up on my screen. Inside it was a woman's name and she was saying, 'Hello," to me. It was a very weird experience. I thought, at first, that aliens were contacting me! I said hello back, and asked her about her box. She then explained, "Instant Messaging," to me, and I was almost immediately hooked.
When my kids were younger, I had no desire to go out. I loved to stay at home, and hang out with them. Sitting at home with my kids, I learned to expand on the instant message thing: I discovered chat rooms.
What a great way to find a date without leaving the house.
The regular chat rooms grew tiresome, though; fast. Women were hit on so often by so many men in those rooms, that when I said hello, I was treated as if I was a piece of dog dung, for the most part, so I decided to set up my own room. I called it, "Poet Seeks Muse." I have met many, many fine, fine women in this room over the years, and have even dated several of them.
Recently, I found this person in my room. I certainly do not want to date them, or even talk to them.
OnlineHost: *** You are in "Romance - Poet Seeks Muse". ***
OnlineHost: u enema has entered the room.
u enema: diarrhea splat
OnlineHost: u enema has left the room.
But, then there were relationships like this forged in The Muse Room:
Stranger: Hey you...I forgot about you for a while, but not yours words.
I miss our random chats
Stranger: thanks for your words
Stranger: always good things
Stranger: you can call me
Stranger: whenever
Stranger: I don't do text
******
When I first got sober, I was scared of the beer and wine aisle at the grocery store, and I wouldn't walk down it because I was so scared of it. I remember being very angry at the grocery store powers that be for putting bottled water on the same aisle as the beer and wine. Just what were they thinking, I thought, how dare they do such a thing to me? And I did without my water, on that particular occasion.
I think that one of the things that "they," say is that, "It takes what it takes," meaning that it takes what it takes to get sober. For me, one of the things that it took, was getting mad at the beer and wine aisle. It is ok to get mad, it is not ok to get drunk over your anger.
The rule is that, "even if your pants fall off, do not pick up." I have followed this rule for almost 18 years. Under no circumstances is using an option, if you are an alcoholic or drug addict in recovery. Hear, hear!
I was chatting online with a young lady last night and she said that she remembered me from the day. "I remember you being a semi-celebrity back in the day…" is what she said.
The day is when I was a music writer, a very drunk music writer "on the scene." When you have ink, you have high visibility, and I had a weekly music column for a couple of years. I met a lot of great people, but my drinking problem pretty much fucked that gig up, like it fucked up all other gigs that I had.
This is taken from my journal:
June 23 2004
Today was a great day, and tonight is and exceptional evening. This woman who I was chatting with, online, asked me if there were any great things happening with me and I told her, “no,” that things were blissfully normal.
I always thought that I had to be huge, that the whole world had to know that I was here. What’s up with that? Is it the rampantly huge, and unstable ego, of a first born male? Is it the result of an insecurity complex a mile wild and a million miles deep?
They tell me that what is really important with the time that you have on this earth is what you do for someone else. If there is a heaven, they tell me, you won t get into it just becoming rich and famous, if you aren't looking out for anyone but yourself.
I sound like some sort of expert, but I’m not. What I learned, I learned the hard way. I’m one of those graduates of that School of Hard Knocks that you are always hearing about. Come to think of it, I am wrong, I am not a graduate. You can never graduate from the School of Hard Knocks. Classes are always being held. The teacher is always waiting for you in that school.
I saw this guy on TV, the other night, bragging about how he had like five hundred pair of underwear. It was weird because the underwear, which he held up for the camera, were the exact same type of underwear that I wear. I only have four pair, but I don’t feel left out, lonely, or like a loser, you know, because I only have four pair; four pair works for me just fine.
I wear the underpants once, or twice, and then I wash them. It’s no big deal, really. I don’t think that I would be any happier if I had five hundred pair. Doing laundry would be even more of a pain in the ass than it is now.
Don't take it off, baby…
I have never been comfortable around naked women who I wasn't sleeping with.
And by this, I am referring to strip clubs. I have only been inside a strip club a few times in my life. I always felt very uncomfortable in there. I think that even though I left The Catholic Church, that there are things ingrained in me from the time I spent there. There are certain morals, or beliefs that I can not, or have not shaken. Perhaps being in a strip club is one of them, or perhaps the problem is that I don t want to look, I want to touch!!
"God, it's such a drag when you re living in the past"--Tom Petty
My past used to haunt me. Images of my father telling me that I was no good, and that I would always be no good, plagued me. I was ruining my today with my yesterday because I couldn’t let the past go. I was still living in yesterday, and yesterday hadn't been all that pleasant.
Because I was living in yesterday, I couldn't enjoy today. I'm not sure how or when I let go. I think it was when I wrote the conclusion to my book, “The Delivery Guy.” There I came to the realization that my father loved me. His love did not feel good to me, but it was the only love he had to offer. It was the best love that he had to offer, the only love that he had to give me.
The type of love that he gave me is not the type of love that I would have chosen, but it was the only love that he was capable of giving me. He did his best. Things could have been way worse.
I had to learn to let go. You have to learn to let go. I have to learn that no matter how much I could have tried, I could not change my father. He was what he was. I thank him for doing what he did.
I did not turn out all that bad. I am the great father that I am, because I know what it feels like to be a child under the type of love that my father gave me. I am capable of a greater love for my children, and for this I am very thankful.
An old friend came over, recently, very saddened because she had just had an abortion. She was saying that God hated her for having it. I told her that God did not hate her, because I truly believe that God did not hate my friend for what had just occurred in her life.
I was taught, as a child, that God is very tit for tat, and very judgmental. This is not the God that I believe in today. The God that I believe in, today, loves me, and he, or she, loves you, too, and he, or she, love my friend, maybe the most.
I cooked macaroni and cheese for my daughter figure, just a few minutes ago. I am blessed to have this beautiful young lady in my life. She stays with me after school, each day, until her mother or “real” father get out of work. She thanked me like ten times for the macaroni and cheese, and told me over and over how good it was.
I am amazed by how the generation below me, i.e. my kids love me and think I'm great, and by how the generation above me, i.e. my parents thought that I was no good.
It s all about perceptions, isn’t it, the way that I, and you, feel things? Something, or some situation, that might make me feel terrible, might make you feel wonderful, and vice versa.
You might have a better attitude about life than me, see the glass as half full to the half empty that I see it, and that makes you feel better about life, in general, and better able to see obstacles, or “bad” things as challenges rather than as a reason to get angry, or depressed.
I commend you for this attitude that you have, and I am, now, constantly working to improve on my attitude. Attitude is where it is at; I am certain of that.
She said to me, “You are a walking act of constant common decency; you are
poetry in motion, polite, and pleasant to everybody, whether it be the checkout person at the grocery store, or somebody that everybody perceives to be important."
We all want to be treated decently. Unfortunately, this often doesn’t occur. Do we then take our pain, and try to transfer it to someone else? I think that I have been guilty of this. I have taken my bad moods out on my children. I have taken my bad moods out on my lovers. I have taken my bad moods out on friends, I have taken my bad moods out on complete strangers, and I have taken my bad moods out on my dogs, and on myself.
I don’t know that taking my mood out on you was a conscious thing, like ”I feel like shit, so i am going to make you feel like shit." But, does it matter what my intent is in a situation like this: the result is still the same: I take my mood out on you.
It was a very nice surprise to hear a new friend say that I was a, "walking act of constant common decency." This observation came after she had hung out with me for several days. I wonder if she will think the same thing if she hangs out with me for several weeks or months or years. Would this not be the true test to see if I was truly a commonly decent person?
If I am, then I wonder where the behavior came from? I know that it has not been a consistent behavior, true of me during all periods of my life. I hope that it is consistent from now on.
I am up, as I so often am, these days, in the middle of the night with arthritis pain. I'm not complaining, I am getting used to living with arthritis, though it is not a pleasant thing to do. The hardest part of this arthritis thing, for me, is not being able to walk my dogs, and not being able to fully participate in Yoga. I don't much like limping around at work, either.
The doctor said that, "Hip replacement surgery was imminent." He also said to, "lose weight." Extra weight is an evil thing. I have diabetes primarily because of it, and I have the arthritis at least in part because of it.
People, don't eat a lot.
There is some nasty goo stuck on the inside of my back teeth on the left side of my mouth. I can't dislodge it with my tongue; I can't get at it with my finger. I suppose that I should get up from this desk and go at it with my toothbrush, but, often, once I sit down at this desk, I am glued here.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
He was my Walter Cronkite
By Mikel K Poet
Jim Carroll died, today. I liked Jim Carroll, and I respected his work. If I was one to cry, when people died, I would cry, today. People lament the loss of Ted Kennedy: Ted Kennedy was a piss-ant compared to Jim Carroll.
Jim Carroll was a junkie; and I trusted him. Make that he was a recovered junky, as far as I know, and I trusted him. Jim Carroll told the truth in his book, "The Basketball Diaries," that he wrote, I believe, when he was still a teenager. Jim Carroll laid it out for you, and me, what it was like to be addicted to smack. He removed any glamour that might have existed in my, then practicing alcoholic mind, about moving to what would have been, for me, the next level of addiction.
It takes a lot of balls to tell people, in print, or otherwise, that you used to suck dick in New York City bathrooms to get money for your drug of choice.
Teddy sniffing glue, he was 12 years old
Fell from the roof on East Two-nine
Cathy was 11 when she pulled the plug
On 26 reds and a bottle of wine
Bobby got leukemia, 14 years old
He looked like 65 when he died
He was a friend of mine
Those are people who died, died
They were all my friends, and they died
-- Jim Carroll - People Who Died Song Lyrics
I saw Jim Carroll read his poetry twice. The first time, I made sure that I stole a copy of, "The Basketball Diaries," before I got in line to shake his hand, along with a lot of other folks, at the now long defunct Metroplex punk rock club in Atlanta, Ga. I don't remember that meeting. I was wrapped in my own addiction, drunk most of the time, in those days, but I do remember that I had just started dating my son's mother at that time, and she wanted to meet Carroll, also, and she didn't have a book for him to sign, so I gave her mine, and she came up with the idea of having it signed on page 69, which he did, so there are two signatures in that book from Jim.
I just went and kissed that book. That is my kiss to Jim, a kiss of thanks for what he gave me: a hero that I could believe in outside of all the sports heroes, actresses and actress, politicians, and major label musicians that I am force fed to believe in.
G-berg and Georgie let their gimmicks go rotten
So they died of hepatitis in upper Manhattan
Sly in Vietnam took a bullet in the head
Bobby OD'd on Drano on the night that he was wed
They were two more friends of mine
Two more friends that died
Those are people who died, died
They were all my friends, and they died
I worked with some great musicians for a couple of years, and we put out a couple of spoken word/improve punk/jazz/rock cd's, the first one was called, "Sober," and when Jim Carroll came to Atlanta to do a reading, around the time, that we put out that cd, I felt that it was important that Jim Carroll have a copy.
Having been a music writer, for a number of years, I knew my way around The Cotton Club, where he was reading, and I knew my way around doormen, and music club security types, and I talked my way passed them into Mr. Carroll's dressing room.
"Hey Mr. Carroll, how are you?" I said, "My name is Mikel K."
"Hey, there how are you, said Jim Carroll, almost as if I belonged there. The guy was not like hey you scrub get the fuck out of my dressing room; I'm a Superstar."
I chitt chatted for a bit, gave him the cd, and cruised. It's always nice when you meet a famous person, and they are not a dickhead. Jim Carroll was not a dickhead to me.
Mary took a dry dive from a hotel room
Bobby hung himself from a cell in the tombs
Judy jumped in front of a subway train
Eddie got slit in the jugular vein
And Eddie, I miss you more than all the others
And I salute you brother
Those are people who died, died
They were all my friends, and they died
I turned on the tv, just now, hoping to see an obit of some sort on CNN about Jim Carroll. The President was giving a speech, and then the talking heads tried to take up my time telling me what The President had just said. I turned the tv off. I don't need anyone to remember Jim Carroll for me. I wasn't best friends with the guy, but he wrote a book that I rank up there with, "The Catcher in the Rye," and, "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas," books, all three, that I will always have a copy of on my shelf.
Herbie pushed Tony from the Boys' Club roof
Tony thought that his rage was just some goof
But Herbie sure gave Tony some bitchen proof
"Hey," Herbie said, "Tony, can you fly?"
But Tony couldn't fly, Tony died
Those are people who died, died
They were all my friends, and they died
I'm a Word Man, Jim Carroll was a Word Man; and I respect him and his words, words that may never die, die.
Brian got busted on a narco rap
He beat the rap by rattin' on some bikers
He said, "Hey, I know it's dangerous, but it sure beats Riker's"
But the next day he got offed by the very same bikers
Those are people who died, died
They were all my friends, and they died
RIP Jim Carroll, you were one of the good ones, and I will remember
you until it is my turn to die, die.
Teddy sniffing glue, he was 12 years old
Fell from the roof on East Two-nine
Cathy was 11 when she pulled the plug
On 26 reds and a bottle of wine
Bobby got leukemia, 14 years old
He looked like 65 when he died
He was a friend of mine
Those are people who died, died
They were all my friends, and they died
G-berg and Georgie let their gimmicks go rotten
So they died of hepatitis in upper Manhattan
Sly in Vietnam took a bullet in the head
Bobby OD'd on Drano on the night that he was wed
They were two more friends of mine
Two more friends that died
Those are people who died, died
They were all my friends, and they died
Mary took a dry dive from a hotel room
Bobby hung himself from a cell in the tombs
Judy jumped in front of a subway train
Eddie got slit in the jugular vein
And Eddie, I miss you more than all the others
And I salute you brother
Those are people who died, died
They were all my friends, and they died
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There is some nice You Tube video of Carroll doing readings
at these links:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bsm9e4KDFFI
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This very drunk man was asked to leave The Bookstore where I work, last night. The very drunk man will not even remember being at the bookstore. I wonder if he will wind up in jail, like I so often did when, almost twenty years ago, when I, frequently, got as drunk as he was, last night? They said that he often patrols the bookstore parking lot, going from person to person, and car to car, and spare changing people. I only spare changed one person in my life; it was a mailman, it was early in the morning, and he gave me five bucks. I have never busked, either; I'm to shy to sit our there on the sidewalk, either alone, or with a musician friend, and read poems to the people. I'd rather have a job, or a millionaire girlfriend, than mooch off of people on the sidewalk.
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I'm hungry, but I haven't written much, yet, this morning. Eating steals my desire, in the short term, to write. I was working at a Gun Club, briefly, in Santa Monica, Ca. called, "The Beverly Hills Gun Club," and we got a phone call from Sylvester Stallone saying that he was coming in to shoot off a few rounds.
When Mr. Stallone arrived, I tested his sense of humor, by doing my best Rocky imitation, and saying, "Wha's Adrian."
Stallone made a gun out of his hand, and blew air at it, as if it was a real gun that had just been shot, and said, "I shot her!"
I was the greeter at the club, so I chatted with Stallone for a minute, or two before the owner came out to shake his hand, and give him the tour that I usually gave folks who are new to the club. In our short chat, Stallone revealed to me that he could not write after eating, that the blood going to his stomach to digest his food somehow robbed him of his will to write. Many years later, I fully understand what he was talking about.
It is nice to meet someone super famous, and have them treat you nice. Kudos to
Rocky!
I lost that job, about a week later, because I decided to skip a day of work, and get really drunk. The owners could tell what was up, that I had a drinking problem. One of them didn't much care, he got angry with me, and said something to the extent of, "No one is going to fuck up my business."
The other guy, a Beverly Hills Cop, was decent about it, saying that a lot of cops had drinking problems, and that he could tell that I had one, and that I should seek help.
Help?
Fuck it; I didn't have a job, what a great excuse to go get drunk again!
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Amazingly, my cat Jaggar, the black one with the piercing yellow eyes, now lets me pet him. It has taken us over two years to get to this point. Jaggar does not appear to love being petted, like my other cat, Kobain, does, but, least, he puts up with it, these days.
Jaggar was found in the parking lot of a McDonald's chest caved in, lying near the body of his dead mother. The person who found him took him to the vet that I was going to for my dogs, and Kobain. I watched Jaggar's progress, as the people at the vet's office nurtured him back to health, and I became very interested in him, interested to the point that they entrusted me with him, once he got to the point where he could be entrusted to someone.
Jaggar grew up fast, he didn't stay small long. He was always very anti-social; very anti-social. Then, one day, he started rubbing himself on my legs, which I thought was weird, but I went with it. Now, I often find him sitting near my feet when I am sitting at my desk, and he will come to me when I shake the container that contains the small, moist treats that he loves so much.
Cats are precious animals, each one of them with their own unique personalities.
I am thankful for the two of them that I have in my life; they bring an added richness to it.
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Mama, take this badge off of me
I can't use it anymore.
It's gettin' dark, too dark for me to see
I feel like I'm knockin' on heaven's door.
I like The Guns and Roses version of, "Knocking on Heaven's Door," the best. I am snapping my fingers to the intro as I listen to the band do the song live in Argentina, via You Tube, when my dog, Morisson, starts beating his tail on the floor. Efffin A, I think…we have a band!
Both of my dogs, Morisson, and Bundy, soon come to me at my desk. I have forgotten that when we are outside I often snap my fingers to bring the dogs to me, and to guide them home. They probably think that it is time to go out and play, though they also probably know that when I am this desk typing, I am mostly glued to it. Play time has to wait until my time as a Poet is done for the day.
Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door
Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door
Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door
Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door
From the minute we are born, we start to knock on heaven's door. I don't know if I believe in the concept of heaven that organized religion wants me to buy into. I don't know if there is a heaven or a hell; I sort of doubt it. I think that these concepts were created to make men behave good, scare them with hell, dangle the carrot of heaven out in front of them on a string.
Mama, put my guns in the ground
I can't shoot them anymore.
That long black cloud is comin' down
I feel like I'm knockin' on heaven's door.
Wouldn't it be nice if we didn't have, or need guns. Guns are like abortion, though, though you might think them bad, they are never going to go away.
Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door
Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door
Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door
Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door
Copyright ©1973 Ram's Horn Music
They Shot Bob Marley Outside The Dakota
They shot Bob Marley outside The Dakota the day that John Lennon rose from the dead.
Jimi Hendrix sat at the head of the table while Jim Morrison read the prayer.
When they finished the final supper, Janis Joplin began to sing. Kurt Cobain started to cry, while he walked on water.
Charles Bukowski looked up from a game of poker that he was playing with angels, lit his cigar and smiled.
--Mikel K
From the book, "The Shot Bob Marley Outside The Dakota"
Life is bigger than you…
Oh, life is bigger
And you are not me
The lengths that I will go to
The distance in your eyes
Oh no, I've said too much
I set it up
I remember where I was the first time that I heard this song, "Losing My Religion," by rem. I was on the patio of a bar, guzzling beer from pitchers on cheap pitcher night. I was half way into my buzz, and hearing this song
almost sobered me up. It was like I had been hit in the jaw, but in a shiny, happy way.
This is one of those songs that I can listen to ten thousand times in a row, and be ready to listen to it ten thousand more times.
That's me in the corner
That's me in the spotlight, I'm
Losing my religion
Trying to keep up with you
And I don't know if I can do it
Oh no, I've said too much
I haven't said enough
I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try
That was me in the corner. That was me in the spotlight. I had lost my religion. Michael Stipe and the band had hit it on the nose. They had written a song about me, and if not about me, then they had, at least, written a song that I could relate to. "I've said too much, I haven't said enough was how I often felt." REM had expressed the ambiguity in my existence.
Every whisper
Of every waking hour I'm
Choosing my confessions
Trying to keep an eye on you
Like a hurt lost and blinded fool, fool
Oh no, I've said too much
I set it up
The hint of the century
Consider this
The slip that brought me
To my knees failed
What if all these fantasies
Come flailing around
Now I've said too much
I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try
But that was just a dream
That was just a dream
Confession? I hadn't been to confession in over a decade at that time. Who spoke of confessions, in my existence, outside of The Catholic Church. I'm listening to the song, as I write this, and it is difficult to write, because, as many times as I have heard the song, it still grabs me, pulls me in, makes me want to concentrate on the lyrics, makes me want to groove to the mandolin.
But that was just a dream
Try, cry, why try?
That was just a dream
Just a dream, just a dream
Dream
Sometimes a song stays with you for a day or so. Sometimes it stays with you for weeks, and, sometimes, when you're lucky, a song stays with you for a lifetime, life this one has me; no dream here, baby.
*******
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX P 100
It rained cats and dogs, yesterday evening. I was at work, standing at the front of the store, saying hello to everyone who entered, as was my job for that hour. Many of the people who came in were soaking wet. The primary area where people were soaked was their feet; shoes and socks were wet to the core just from the little walk it took to get to the store from the parking lot..
This one lady came into the store, said hello to me, took her shoes off, dumped the water from them onto our carpet, and then started wiping her feet on the carpet, right in front of me. It was weird to watch her do this. I felt grossed out, violated somehow, like I was privy to something that I was not supposed to see. And I felt sorry for our poor carpet; how dare she wipe her stinky feet on it.
It is the store's policy to be polite to the customer under most any circumstance, so when the lady was done I smiled at her, and said, "Have a nice day. Like Hunter Thompson said, "When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro."
*******
Does it matter how you die? Is there any difference between putting a bullet in your head in the kitchen, and expiring there, after years of battling cancer or dieing in the hospital, your family owing doctors money for you care that they will never be able to pay?
I think that the main difference between those two situations exists in the minds of those that you leave behind. Killing yourself will probably have a greater effect on your loved ones than it does on you.
Hunter killed himself in the kitchen while talking to his wife. His son found him. To me, there is something fucked up about this. I mean, really, Hunter, get a hotel room.
*******
When I got to Atlanta, a quarter of a century ago, the Afican-American on the streets would call me, "White boy."
"Hey, white boy, you got a cigarette? Hey, white boy you got a quarter?"
Now, on the streets, and else where, I get called, "Big Man."
A couple of years in the gym, and a couple more at the buffet, and here I am, in my fifties: Big Man.
I was a skinny little kid: very skinny. I ran track, played tennis, and was a thin guard in basketball. To now be "Big Man," is quite a stretch for me, because, even though, I don't look that way when I look in the mirror, inside I still feel like that skinny little kid.
It is funny how certain inner voices stay with us. I find that, mostly, that it is the negative voices that stick with me. I still hear my father telling me that I am, "worthless."
I remember my mother telling me, one day, in the kitchen, that I would "be fat." I was about the skinniest kid in my high school. I laughed at her, and told her that she was crazy. She wasn't crazy; she knew what my eating patterns were, and what time was going to do to me.
Now, I'm fat; overweight fighting to lose the weight, because I am diabetic,
and have arthritis, and both conditions are both caused, and aggravated by
extra pounds.
It is a lot easier to put the weight on, than to take it off; trust me, I've had a vasectomy.
*******
I have had a vasectomy. They laughed at me when I told them what I was going to do; they said that I wasn't having sex with anyone, well, duh, that didn't mean that I wasn't going to not have sex with anyone for the rest of my life.
I had read an article that said that the pattern with most American males was to dump his wife, and kids, and start over with a younger woman, creating more kids with her, and that didn't seem like a very nice thing to maybe do to my kids, so I made sure that I couldn't do it. So there.
*******
Most times that I drink one, a cup of coffee makes me feel warm, and fuzzy. I come away from the experience feeling better than I did when I went into it. But, on occasion, drinking a cup of coffee will make me feel jittery.
I used to drink too much coffee; I would start with a pot in the morning,
and then I would continue through most of the day with a cup of coffee near me. One morning, when my friend Dave was visiting with me, I started screaming at him, extremely about something that he had done. Now, I had a right to be irritated with Dave, but there was no reason to be going ballistic on him.
"Mikel," said my friend, calmly, "I think that you need to do something about your caffeine."
It was as if he had slapped me upside the head, which I wouldn't have been surprised if he had done. No, Dave, no, I said to myself, I have given up everything else; you can't expect me to give up my coffee.
I just glared at him, and walked away. I had given up my alcohol. I had given up my cigarettes. I was trying to eat in moderation, and here was someone saying that I should give up my precious coffee.
No. No. No.
Several days later, I started making my coffee by the cup instead of by the pot, and, gradually, I cut back to just a cup in the morning, and, maybe, one later in the day.
I have not yelled at Dave, or anyone else, including the dogs, cats, and turtles since I have made this change. Life is about moderation, and I was not born a moderate person; it is something that I have had to come to learn in many areas of my life.
The cat has gotten very good at getting the inner door open. No matter how hard I push it, I still hearing it creaking open, and look up to see him sneaking out it. The only problem that he has, is that there is another door, outside the one that he has just opened, and he will not be able to get that one open. And if by some miracle he does, he has only let himself out onto the porch, which has another door, and not out into the great beyond that he is trying to let himself out into.
At the last place that we lived, I let my cats be indoor/outdoor cats. We lived on a quiet street; there was an empty lot across the street; I felt good about the situation for letting my cats wander around outside. Where we live, now, I do not feel good about letting my cats wander; there are too many cars, too close to the house, and too many cats prowling about in the immediate vicinity.
I love my cats. I do not want to have to pick one of them up off the pavement. That was the fate that befell the cat that I had before I had the two cats that I have now, Kobain, and Jaggar. Her name was Madonna, and when my son brought home another kitty, who badly needed a home, Madonna got very angry, and would not stay in the house much. One day, a neighbor came to my door, and asked me if I had "seen" Madonna. I knew what he meant immediately. Poor Madonna had gotten run over by a car at the end of the parking lot in front of the apartments that we live in. I felt so blessed to hear him say that someone else had cleaned her up. It would have broken my heart to have had to scrape her up off the asphalt. If Madonna had just been a little bit more willing to share, she might still be alive. It just goes to show you that anger can be bad for cats, like it is for human.
----------------------------------------
It's often an hour to go until I've got to get somewhere, leaving me an hour until I am where I am supposed to be. Time is an incredible thing; no matter how much of it I have of it, it is always slipping away on me. It seems like it only has taken me several minutes to get where I am, but actually it has been 52 years. I can't believe it; I feel like I am still young, but I am looked upon by the young as if I am old. Oh well, I guess I hurtling, fast, towards finding out what is after, what the forever after is all about. It is sure to be consciousness expanding, if my consciousness is still with me, a topic which there is great debate about.
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About two months ago, I was stricken with severe arthritis. I went from walking my dogs three to five miles a day to not being able to walk them at all. I went from a pain free existence to an existence full of pain. The Doctor who took the x-rays, and told me that I had arthritis, and had not pulled a groin muscle like I thought, also told me that "hip replacement surgery was, "imminent." At the time I thought that I could fix the hip with something natural like yoga, or maybe I could drink dandelion juice, or take some herbs. For the last two months the pain has gotten worse, and worse, and my ability to get around has gotten less, and less. I have an appointment, tomorrow, to see a Doctor who can perform the hip replacement surgery. I can't wait to get under the scalpel.
cfeni: so can i be more obnoxious
cfeni: its fun
mikel k: you can be pretty fucking obnoxious
mikel k: but then you are a spoiled litte rich kid without the money
mikel k: i d be pissed off, too
cfeni: ah, money is overrated
cfeni: i want love
cfeni: and that ain't gonna happen
mikel k: i want money money can buy me love
cfeni: really?
mikel k: yes
cfeni: not in my world
mikel k: how do you get love when you don t have money to ask someone out
mikel k: hey would you like to go to the soup line with me?
cfeni: i guess if they had no money either then it woudn't be a problem
cfeni: you like the rich bitches
mikel k: i do?
mikel k: what the hell was i doing hanging around you then?
cfeni: good question
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Sometimes, you enter into relationships that force you to grow up. Growth is still possible when you are two hundred years old. Often you do not realizing that you are growing, because growth can feel like a sharp slap in the face. Once you have survived the slap, though, a refreshing feeling engulfs you, for you have done something that you did not think it possible for you to do: you have grown. Mostly, I think that I know it all and that there is not much I can learn. This is a stupid attitude. I am not stupid, but I have a multiplicity of stupid attitudes. I want to grow; I want to cast off my stupid attitudes. I know that this is possible.
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There was a time when I would snort anything. If you crunched it up, and it fit through a straw, I would try to get it in my nose. Today, this seems like really weird behavior, but at the time it made sense.
-------------------------------
I start my day off by listening to the song, "Don't Cry," by Guns N Roses, because I feel like crying. Sometimes little things seem so insurmountable. Sometimes, I feel like I can't put one foot in front of the other and move on. I get stuck where I am.
Not to whine; the day will get better, and, soon, I will not remember how I feel now. I will feel different; sometimes better, sometimes strong, sometimes worse, weak.
I am not the cup of coffee that I pour. I am not the person that the person who I work with is mad at. I am the smile that I have on my face.
-----------------------------
"Love" is something that you can abuse, because you own it. It's yours, you can yell at it, insult it, make it cry, hurt its feelings, and on, and on, and on, because it is "yours." Mary me, my lady, marry me.
--------------------------------
Kobain just coughed up a hairball that looked like poop, and the worst thing about it is that he coughed it up, not on the filthy carpet, but on my bed. I had to remove the sheet(I don't use a top sheet) and put it in the washer right away. My animals are constantly presenting me challenges.
---------------------------------
I hate when my computer turns itself off: it goes to black, but the blue on and off button is still on; what's up with that? When I get a call from my oldest kid, early in the morning, like I did, this morning, it means that my job has called him, wanting something, usually for me to show up early, because someone else decided to take the day off, and because they did not reach me on my phone(I was asleep with the phone turned off, as it always is when I sleep.)
I'm a cynic; I think that it's rare that someone is sick enough to miss work(I think that that was programmed into me by my Irish immigrant working class parents.) I mean I don't mind if you are sick, or if you want to take a day off to lay up with your boyfriend, or look for a new job, as long as it doesn't affect me. Me, me, me...we are talking me, here, dear. I try to help out at work, whenever possible, by working to fill in when they need me, but I just don't have it in me, this morning. My head feels very groggy, and my hip is giving me a lot of pain. Should I feel guilty for just being able to work the shift that I was assigned?
I am in a piss poor mood, this morning. I like to wake up slow, sipping caffeine, typing words onto a computer screen, not be rushed into existence with harried phone calls. Dig?
The dogs pretty much chose to ignore me, this morning, when we were on our morning expedition to the front yard, and places not too far beyond, not heeding my, "Go home, Bundy; Go home, Morrison, when I thought that it was time to go home, preferring, instead, to languish in the, now, cool, and, still, wet grass, sniffing; enjoying one of the first cool mornings of the new autumn.
Monkey, the sort of stray cat, was hanging out front when the dogs and I arrived there, this morning. Monkey likes to say good morning to the dogs, rubbing up against the dogs like they are lovers preparing for a kiss. My only hope is that her loving manner doesn't give the dogs AIDS. I'm kidding, and I'm talking fleas kids, not acquired immunodeficiency syndrome.
Another cat showed up, wanting I'm not sure what; perhaps to share in Monkey's breakfast that I had just put out, but the dogs chased that cat off. I was glad that one, or both of the dogs, did not run off into the distance chasing the cat. Morrison, especially, used to have a problem coming back to the house after he ran off for any reason, and chasing a cat off was an especially good reason to head out into the hood for several hours.
Writing this has been good for me. I don't feel so stressed out anymore. People get sick, people call in when they are not sick. I should be glad that I have a job that thinks enough of me to want to bring me in early: there, the good attitude is back.
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I don't know about this Face Book crap; I got home from work, tired, grabbed a bag of peanuts, and a bowl to put the shells in, sat down to the puter, and found that I had 11 messages on FB. This should be fun I thought...11 messages is good. Not one was good, they were all responses that someone had made on a string where I had made a comment, or comments to a string that I had not requested to be on. I hate when people include me in their strings. Anyway, I'm tired and pissy; work was a pain in the ass, again, today... under staffing becomes stressful when you get busy, and there is no one to cover your back: the man saves money on labor costs, but you grow older with stress as you constant companion at near minimum wage per hour. I know, I know there are options, you have choices, blah, blah...
Dear Facebook: Work sucks, Face Book sucks, Everything sucks...ha ha!
Dear Facebook: I've napped, and, now, I'm so happy, happy, happy...comfortably numb, perhaps, as "they" say. The dogs love the cold; they can't wait to go out, and then they don't want to come in. What is Monkey, the outdoor cat, going to do when it gets really cold?
-------------------------------------
Bundy, the dog, will snap at Jaggar, the cat, when Jaggar dares to stick his nose in or near Bundy's food dish, in the morning. Yet, the first thing that Bundy does, when he returns from his a.m. outdoor visit, is to run to Jaggar's breakfast bowl, and try to wolf down whatever kitty food that is in it before I scream, "No," at him. He then runs off, and hides beneath my desk. It is a game we play, a morning ritual, with Bundy usually emerging the victor, the animal with the most food in his gut.
Monkey, the stray cat**, has taken to rubbing up against my legs when I take the dogs outside to use the facility. I don't think that he is wanting to be held, and petted, because Jaggar does the same foot, and leg, rubbing thing, but resists being held or petted at all costs. I say, "stray cat," in regards to Monkey, but, really, these days, Monkey doesn't stray very far from the bowl that I fill with food every morning for her.
-------------------------------------------------------
Bundy, the dog, will snap at Jaggar, the cat, when Jaggar dares to stick his nose in or near Bundy's food dish, in the morning. Yet, the first thing that Bundy does, when he returns from his a.m. outdoor visit, is to run to Jaggar's breakfast bowl, and try to wolf down whatever kitty food that is in it before I scream, "No," at him. He then runs off, and hides beneath my desk. It is a game we play, a morning ritual, with Bundy usually emerging the victor, the animal with the most food in his gut.
Monkey, the stray cat**, has taken to rubbing up against my legs when I take the dogs outside to use the facility. I don't think that he is wanting to be held, and petted, because Jaggar does the same foot, and leg, rubbing thing, but resists being held or petted at all costs. I say, "stray cat," in regards to Monkey, but, really, these days, Monkey doesn't stray very far from the bowl that I fill with food every morning for her.
-------------------------------------
Lynne Ferrigno
You'll do great... I have half a dozen friends who've had the surgery. All are practically tap dancing.
The Doctor spoke fast, the whole time that he was speaking to me about my leg, hip, and back x-rays. I sat there the whole time wondering if I could trust him. He wanted to put a series of three shots in each of my knees. He was talking about the possibility of a shot, or shots, in my back after I got an MRI.
I decided to not be in a pissed off mood about it all. The Doctor also wanted to do hip replacement surgery, which, to me, meant that relief was on its way from the intense hip pain that I had been experiencing for the past several months.
I wasn't sure what the shots to my knees and possibly to my back were, or were about, but I decide to try and have some faith in something that I had never had much faith in: Doctors.
I got on the bus in a good mood. My eyes were mostly hidden behind my hair as I got on the bus and said cheerio to the bus driver. Because my eyes were hidden, I did not see that the bus driver was in a bad mood, until I walked away from him. When he spoke to me, though, as I walked away, he gave me a cheery mellow, proving that a good mood, like a yawn, can be infectious.
---------------------------------------
In the seat across from me, on the bus, this older pot-bellied man is fiddling with the ear piece that is attached to his mp3 player. I'm not an expert at this type of thing, but I'm pretty sure that his player is not an IPOD, but rather might be
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I once swallowed about half a bottle of aspirin in a sort of half ass attempt to kill myself. I realized at the halfway point in the bottle that as depressed as I was that I did not really want to die, so I quit swallowing the little white pills. I don't know if aspirin can kill you, but I do know that if you swallow enough of it, you will wish that you are dead. I can't remember the specific symptoms, but I do know that I felt awful, and that if I should ever try to meet my make ahead of his or her scheduled time, that it won't be aspirin that I take as my ticket over to the other side.
--------------------------------------
"Love is when you are as concerned about someone else's situation as you about your own..."--"Tuesdays With Morrie," by Mitch Albom
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In this world, as it is, sometimes, unfortunately, you don't have time for love. They work you to the bone, so that they can make the big bucks, and then you come home, too exhausted to even pet your dog; at least I do. What if I had a wife here; what kind of attention would I have to show her? My mood is foul because I am so exhausted. I am too tired to even write. I remember the foul moods that my father was in after putting in a long day in a factory, the type of factory where he lost half of one of his fingers, once. At the time, it just seemed like he didn't love me, that his angry mood meant that I was bad, and unwanted. As I come home from work, now, and ignore my dog's pleas for pats on the head, I can see where my father was coming from. I have to forgive my father for being, "bad."
--------------------------------------
Remember when you were young, as I remember when I was young; how did this older age come upon me/us so fast? When I was young, I thought that I was young forever, and, now that I am old, I know that my life is not unlimited. I am wiser now, but my body does not cooperate like it used to. I need a new hip, and my knees, and back need rejuvenating. Once, I thought that I was invincible, now I see the limits to what I can do.
----------------------------
Dear FB: I get nervous when a cool opportunity comes my way; my heart starts to beat, I sweat a bit. I think of myself as a choke artist, I get so consumed by the stress of the gig, that all I can do is scream: yell and scream at the audience, harshly sending out to them words that need some tenderness. I hear the voice of my father in the background saying, "You're no fucking good," and that doesn't help at all.
---------------------------------------------
Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared
-----------------------
I hope that today was a good day for you. I enjoyed my bus/train/bike ride to the MRI place. The MRI, itself was a bit claustrophobic, but the folks there were nice. When I got home, Bundy had raided the cats' food container, trying to bit into it. He is on my poop list.
---------
I stopped telling people that I was going to kick their ass, either jokingly, or seriously, awhile ago. I don't want to kick anyone's ass, and ass yee say, they say, so shall yee possible reap. When guys want to play around, play fight, I back off from the situation. And I am a guy who used to get in fights in bars, fairly regularly, and even was stupid, and drunk, enough to get in a fight with a cop one, night who was trying to arrest him for dui.
---------------------------------
FB Lady: Where do you work? I will come in and get a coffee sometime.
I can't have people drop by; they have cut us to one person, where there used to be two. I am not my usual smiling self, often, now, when I am grinding out coffee drinks; you would probably hate me.
---------------------------------
I started reading this book, today, Oct. 2, 2009. It is a really good book, so far, and I am almost 40 pages into it. P. 39
"We've been there and come back. When you fall in the pit, people are supposedly to help you up. But you have to get up on your own. We'll take your arms, but you'll have to get your legs underneath you and stand again."
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The dogs will stay out of the cat's food while I am here, but the minute that I turn my back they are on the cat food like flies on poop. I trust my dogs, but only in certain arenas, and food is not one of them.
------------------
I had this part time job where I was helping a friend clean a house, every other week. The money that I made went towards groceries. Because of the worsening of the arthritis in my hip, and knees, my friend had to let me go because I could not do the job as it needed to be done, and because I was a risk to him: what if I fell and hurt myself in that house that we were cleaning.
I knew that I would feel the pinch financially, and I have. Groceries have been cut back to a minimum. There is really no need to whine, here, though I feel in somewhat of a whining mood. I need to take steps.
------------------------
It is fall, now, the weather has gotten cool, the sun is mostly bright; the days are beautiful, an incredibly welcome respite from the hot, humid summer that preceded it. My dogs love this weather, they beg to go out in it, and they want to stay out longer, whereas, when it was hot, they were in no hurry to go out, and in a hurry to come back in to the air conditioning, once they had done what they went out there to do.
-------------------
"Unless you know what you're looking for, you won't know it when you see it."-- B. Sinister
------------------------------
candy: you treat your pets better than most people
candy: they are your primary companions
I treat most people better than most people treat people,
perhaps, or maybe I'm just another Capitalist Pig in waiting,
to pay you low, sell my goods high; I used to get high, my, my.
---The weird way that I am sometimes awoken----------------------------
My black cat, Jaggar, loves to lay on my black book bag. It is his favorite place in the abode to hang out on. I leave it at the foot of the bed for him; sometimes he scratches or bites at my foot when it gets too near him in the middle of the night, which is strange payback, don't you think, for being so nice in setting him up with a bed that he loves.
It's Monday, and I don't really have the money for half and half for my coffee, and I milk for my cream until Thursday night at midnight, when the paycheck from the Corporate Bookstore that I work at is deposited. I don't really feel bad about this. I have been wanted to try to become a black coffee drinker, and a person who does not pour milk in his tea, for a long time, and why not make this the opportunity to do that?
I learned, somewhere, along the way that there is always good in a bad situation; often, though, you have to look for the good to find it. In this situation, perhaps the good is getting to do something that you have wanted to do all along, but have not had the motivation to do, because the situation was not right.
Well, maybe it is right now?
-----------------------
I just posted a You Tube video of Bob Dylan performing, "Mr. Tamborine Man," at The Newport Jazz Festival in 1964. I dedicated it to Hunter S. Thompson. Thompson pissed my off when he shot himself in the head, in the family kitchen, and his home in Woody Creek, Col. If he wanted to end it all, fine; but couldn't he have gone out in the woods and done it, and not left his corpse in the kitchen for his son to find?
Suicide can be such an inconsiderate act.
-------------------------------
The sound of a cat licking water, sounds much like the sound of something frying on the oven. Often, I look over my shoulder, from my desk, to look for a frying pan that I think that I must have forgotten about, full of things frying, to find one of my two cats licking away at the water bowl that they share with my dogs.
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I've gone bananas: my dogs like bananas, and I like bananas. I like to freeze ripe, and over-ripe bananas, and thaw them out in the microwave oven to add to my oatmeal. The dogs love it when I cut the tips off of the bananas and throw them to them, as part of the banana peel removal process that leads to freezing the bananas. I love the consistency, and taste of a banana that has been frozen, and thawed, and then added to my oatmeal.
I was in line at the store, yesterday, and I put a large bunch of green bananas on the conveyor belt. The man in front of me said, "You like green bananas, eh? I like them when they are just ripe."
I guess he didn't know that if you take green bananas home, they will ripen in your house. Also, he didn't know that I mostly buy organic bananas, and, in my experience, organic bananas are mostly green when you find them on your grocer's shelf.
I like ripe bananas, too; I mean, who among us that likes bananas, doesn't. You run into some weird folks at the grocery store, from time to time.
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I look over from my desk, and see that one of my turtles is biting on a rock, in his aquarium, that is not chewable. I wonder what he is thinking? Do I need to feed him, I wonder, or is he just playing? I chew on the top of pens, at times, and other objects foreign to my healthy diet; maybe he is doing the same. I go on with what I am doing, and I let him go on with what he is doing. Several minutes later, I look back over at him. He is swimming up and down the length of the aquarium, seeming to want out. I would want out, wouldn't you?
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Most religions warn against war, yet more wars have been fought over religion than perhaps anything else. Christians have killed Jews. Jews have killed Muslims. Muslims have killed Hindus. Hindus have killed Buddhists. Catholics have killed Protestants. Orthodox have killed pagans, and you could run that list backward and sideways and it would still be true. War never stops; it only pauses.
--Mitch Albom, p.90, "Have A Little Faith."
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"What profits a man if he gains the whole world, but loses his soul?"--Name That Singer
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Do you have a soul? This question is unanswerable until you die. Is there a God? This question is, also, unanswerable until you die. Those are my thoughts on those two questions. I am sure that there are many people who would argue with me. I am sure that there are many people who would agree with me. Your soul, my soul, and God, like politics are great things to argue, because there are no real answers. I have to go to the Doctor, today. I hope that I don't have cancer or some other terminal condition. I'm not ready to die.
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My vehicle died, and I found myself unable to pick my daughter up after school. She had to ride the bus home to her mother's house, which was a bit of a long trip.
My daughter's school, and my Yoga studio, are near each other, and one night, as I was coming home from Yoga, I saw a for rent sign in front of a house very near to my daughter's school for a one bedroom apt. I wrote the number down, and when I got home, I called the landlord.
I was unable to afford the one bedroom apt., but the landlord also had a studio apt. for rent in the same building that was in my price range. I made an appointment to look at it. It wasn't all that, the years having not been kind to it, and the landlord not having much kept it up, but location, location, location; if I rented it, I would live eight houses away from my daughter's school; I would not need a car to pick her up after school, she could just walk home, and I would be near my Yoga studio, and a nice grocery store; I wouldn't need a car, for the most part.
I put a deposit on the space, and agreed to move in the following month. The space has proved to be a God-send; it is funny how the things you need often materialize when you need them.
---------------------------------------------------
This older pot-bellied man, across the aisle from me on the bus, is fiddling with the ear piece to his mp3 player; I'm not an expert at things such as these, but I am mostly sure that his player is not an IPOD. This guy doesn't
-------------------------------------
(It's raining again.) There were lots of problems in my past, and sometimes my mind wants to wander to a place where it thinks that there are problems, today, in my existence but there are not.
Like John Lennon said, "there are no problems, only solutions."
I wish that I had said that. Do you think that if I had said that that people would quote me as often as they do John Lennon?
I doubt it. I wasn't a Beatle.
-----------------------------------------------
Morisson has pulled up to my feet, which means that it is raining outside, and that, most likely, we will experience some thunder and lightening. Storms are what Morisson fears the most in this world. When I am awake, he glues himself to me for the length of the storm, pulling up at my feet, as I have just indicated, when I am at my desk, and following me around the apartment, nearly glued to me for the length of the storm.
If the thunder and lightening occurs when I am asleep, he wakes me, and then begs, and begs until I let him jump up onto the bed, and crawl next to me. My rule is no dogs in the bed, but I make an exception for Morisson during storms.
Cat's are allowed anytime, and Kobain and Jaggar both make the most of this allowance. Kobain will jump up on the bed, almost the minute that I lay down on it, crawl up onto my chest, stick his head in my hand, and demand that he be rubbed and scratched. When he gets his fill of this he crawls to my side for awhile, and then heads to the foot of the bed to spend the night, where Jaggar is already asleep.
-------------------------------
The remote control to my oscillating fan, that sits near, and blows pleasant air at my desk, is missing, and, this morning, I figured out what must have happened to it: I'm betting that my cat, Jaggar, turned it into a toy, pushed it from my desk , and onto the floor, where he chased it around until it disappeared into a place where he couldn't play with it anymore, a place where I can't see it.
The fan still works without the remote, but it isn't as convenient, and I must have convenience in my world whenever possible. Jaggar, honey, bring home the remote.
-------------------------------------------
An old friend of mine came over to visit, last night. I had not seen her in almost 20 years. It was good to see her. She was able to track me down on the internet; Google sure comes in handy for staying in touch. I fixed her a coffee, and she drank it black.
Last night, the day after her visit, I came across her coffee cup, on a table on my front porch; there was still coffee in it. I was amazed by this. I am the type of person who drinks every last sip of whatever is in my cup. I am the type of person who eats every last bite that is on his plate. I was trained to be that way by my father. If I didn't eat what was on my plate, or complained about what was on my plate, my father would backhand me to the face, while we were sitting next to each other at the dinner table.
I guess I learned the hard way what my father's desires were. Being a part of the clean plate club is a good thing, if you are trying to avoid getting hit by your father, but it is not a good thing with regards to eating what you need, and not over-eating.
I was old-school trained, brought up the Irish way by a mean, angry old man. He fucked up a lot with regards to me, made me a little rough around the edges, but he also bred in me some might fine traits, and when I take full credit for myself, I need to stop and share the glory:
father, thank you for doing the best that you could.
---------------------------------------
Jesus was a Jew, and yet the Christians and the Jews don't believe in each other. Can you explain that to me? No, wait, I have it figured out, I don't need your thoughts about this swirling through my head.
-----------------------------------------
My house is dirty; I need a good woman to clean up after me. Har, har.
----------------------------------------
Mikel K Poet I'm having cat food for dinner; it tastes like tuna, sort. Sometimes it makes me gag, a bit, but you got to eat.
Yesterday at 6:41pm • Comment • Like
Cassandra Gilldo you need food?
Yesterday at 7:07pm • Delete
Jeff RackleySeriously?
Yesterday at 7:45pm • Delete
Edie Miller AngeloNo, is really that bad?? I used to eat dog biscuits when I was little..if it's really that bad, go get food stamps...they are easy to qualify for....and they give you a voter registration card to boot....
Yesterday at 8:27pm • Delete
Mikel K PoetFood stamps sent me a cut off notice, several days after my job told me that I would lose it due to hip surgery. I hate to ask for help, but heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelp!!
Yesterday at 8:53pm • Delete
Cassandra GillMikel this is definitely one of those times you need to get in touch with your church and let them know you need help. If you don't have a church or yours doesn't do charity (what kind of church doesn't do charity at least for its own members?) then please call the Atlanta Friends Meetinghouse.
Yesterday at 8:59pm • Delete
Cassandra GillAlso, sign up for AngelFood Ministries http://www.angelfoodministries.com/hosts.asp put your zip code in and look for the closest address. You can order online and have someone pick it up for you. It is worth it.
Yesterday at 9:01pm • Delete
Mikel K PoetI feel weird about believing in Churches in a time of need, when I don't believe in them normally.
Yesterday at 9:01pm • Delete
Mikel K PoetI know that beggars are not supposed to be choosers, but in order to get produce and or vegetables from angel food ministeries, you have to buy their meat first, and I haven't had any meat for over a year, now, and plan to stick with such. Thank you for the suggestion, though; they are a wonderful organization, if you eat meat!!
Yesterday at 9:05pm • Delete
Cassandra Gilllol that's part of why they do it, Mikel. If you don't believe in churches, believe in people's christian charity which is easiest to organize through a church. most church charities are really just a group of people doing something good while using the church's resources. But if it makes you nervous, contact the Atlanta Friends Meeting House - ... Read More
Yesterday at 9:05pm • Delete
Cassandra GillAngelfood has a fruit/veggies special box. http://www.angelfoodministries.com/menu_0910en3.asp bottom of page
Yesterday at 9:07pm • Delete
Mikel K PoetYou know, I hate to be cynical, but I was down and out at least one time before, and I found Christian churches, for the most part, to be stingy, and wanting to shove their Christ up my butt...you know...if you're going to eat our food, you've got to believe in our Jesus. Well, I don't believe in their Jesus, and I won't grovel to eat their food. Thanks for the suggestion, though; I know that your heart is in the right place, Cassandra.
Yesterday at 9:10pm • Delete
Cassandra GillQuakers don't do that, trust me, not all Quakers are christians anyway; plenty of jewish atheist and pagan quakers. The central belief is that everyone must have their own personal relationship with the creator and no one can dictate that. They don't even proseltyze. I'm not a christian and I never will be. Sometimes I'm not even sure I am a deist, but Quakers welcome everyone and they don't preach at all. They don't have any preachers!
Yesterday at 9:14pm • Delete
Edie Miller AngeloJust call the food stamp people and tell them the situation has changed because of the surgery and isn't it against the law to fire someone for being sick????? If I wasn't so screwed myself I would send you a check...I just ate 2 month out of date sour cream because it smelled and tasted ok and now I am sick as a dog....Dunkin Donuts gives donuts ... Read More
Yesterday at 10:06pm • Delete
Harmony Kerrick LanzMikel, if you need help ... you have to take it, no arguing ;) catfood for dinner is NOT a way to stay out of the hospital..especially considering your other health factors.. my 2 cents..for what it's worth, i'm sorry the employers these days are short on decency and that your not working right now..30 more people were laid off at my job on thursday too..it's bare bones out there..everything does work out though..promise
Yesterday at 10:22pm • Delete
Mikel K PoetIn the cases that I was talking about, they weren't offering "help" they were offering lectures. I need to clarify that I am not eating cat food, that was just a cynical thing that I came up with, a projection that will never occur. Thank you all for your concern.
Yesterday at 10:37pm • Delete
Yvonne CherieI agree w/ HKL..Lets see what we can do..If everyone is able to bring you a dish..One of us day...We as a unit should be able to help you..
Yesterday at 10:41pm • Delete
Yvonne CherieYou have a lot of friends...( :
Yesterday at 10:43pm • Delete
Vivan Grecolove you brother, let me help in some way, not far from there myself, but we help freinds, call and let me know what you need, even if its just a loaf of bread and some pb&j. i will drop it off tommorow.
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How we deal with our dogs during a Recession
Maybe I'll find a cheaper apartment, but they won't take Bundy because he barks, so I'll just leave him here, in this apartment, when I move out, and he won't let the landlord in, so the landlord shoots him.
I could feel sorry for myself, having been hit as I was with a hard one two punch, but feeling sorry for myself is not an option, these days, it does no good at all.
My black cat was reclining on top of the black book shelf that he always reclines on, and my daughter came by to quickly drop off the large book bag that she often drops off in the morning, when she is going to be staying with me in the afternoon. My daughter always drops it off on the black shelf that the cat was reclining on, and she made the cat move so that she could place it on top of the shelf. When she left, I went and got her bag and moved it to a chair in another part of the room, so that the cat could continue reclining. There is a lesson in here somewhere, but I am too tired this morning to find it.
--------------------------------------------
I am going to the Doctor's office today, my Primary Care Physician, as she is called to get approval from her to have my hip replacement operation. She needs to tell the Doctor who is doing the hip replacement operation that I am physically fit to undergo the operation. My doctor is out of the office, today, so another Doctor, will do the exam. As I age, it seems that there are more and more Doctors involved in my life. I am blessed to have insurance.
----------------------------------
"And any information given will be used to collect this debt…" says the recording on the phone that has been left to my voice message system. Well, I probably won't give you any information, I think to myself, and even if I wanted to, you are a recording, so what good would that do you?
I heard the other day that one of the jobs that there are a lot of is that of debt collections. If you want to get on the phone, and harass people for money that they don't have, have at it. I'd feel like a pig signing on for such a job, myself. I think that anyone working for the credit card companies is cruel and evil; just my thought on the matter.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Today was a day where I really wished that I had a cane. I looked at one, last week, at The Pharmacy, but couldn't swing The Twenty that they wanted for it. It was raining, today, and cold, the perfect combo to make my hip act up, and act out.
I had an EKG done on my loving heart today. The nurse said that my heart was fine, but the Doctor is sending me to a Cardiologist.
-----------------------------
Thanks- you guys are sweet. Found out some little brat has been bullying my kid all day and punched him in the stomach... this WILL be dealt with properly, as it doesn't sound like it has been yet. COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE
--A Pissed Off Mother
cherishlouise [1:26 A.M.]: write me sometHing
cherishlouise [1:26 A.M.]: a pome on heartach
cherishlouise [1:26 A.M.]: and moving on
cherishlouise [1:26 A.M.]: :)
cherishlouise signed off at 1:52 A.M.
cherishlouise signed on at 5:23 A.M.
----------------------------------------------------------------
Life in the little box (USE THIS AS INTOR TO IM SECTION)
I could have loved you
but you were so far away
and I wasn't free to travel;
kids, and dogs, n cats, n turtles,
and all,
but I'm glad that you found someone
who treats you right,
and I'm so happy that you are having
a baby next month.
I have lived through so much with you
in this little box, and all of it has
been fun.
----------------------------------------
I have complained, at times, about how hot it is in this abode, but this morning, after stepping back into my home, after stepping out into the cold to feed Monkey, the formerly stray cat, I am thankful that this old apartment retains heat. It has gotten cold fast, here in this southern city; yesterday, at work, as a barista in a coffee cafe, I fixed a lot of hot chocolates and hot chai teas for cold folks.
Corporations mostly suck, don't they; their soul motive is to maximize profits for those greedy assholes sitting at the top of the corporate heap. Life is grand, though; my days with the current corp. that I am doing time with, are limited. They are kicking me to the curb, when I have to leave to get my hip replaced. It feels dismal to have such support, much like a soldier must feel, who lost a leg or two, and then found out that nobody cared about him, or her, past using them to wage war for much the same reason that corporations exist: the acquisition of as much money as is possible.
I have spoken, before, of how peaceful it is for me to watch my cats eat their breakfast in the morning. Watching them eat still gives me the calms. When I got home, last night, Jaggar's dish lay broken on the floor. I was bummed, but not pissed. Dogs and cats left alone while one is at work sometimes "play."
It is a great day to be alive.
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It has gotten cold here in my Southern City, I woke up late, such a blessing, and went out to feed
Poet's Corner K Page
David Herrle Subtle Tea K Interview
http://www.subtletea.com/mikelkinterview.htm
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The male bus driver pushes a button somewhere at the front of the bus. A female voice comes through the speakers, telling us that there will be a fare increase, tomorrow. The recorded woman says this several times, and then she thanks us for riding with her, which I find at least somewhat oxymoronic, given that she has just raised the cost of admission to public transportation on us.
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I'm not sure what it says about me that I am 52 years old, and there is no one to help me get to the Orthopedic Doctor's office for this appointment, this morning, concerning my castrated hip.
I hop on my bike, pedal a bit, and then my bike and I hope on the bus, then off the bus onto the train, and then off the train, and then we ride and walk up and down the hills that take us to the doctor's office.
The last time that I was in this office, the doctor showed me an x ray of my hip, then looked at me, and said, "Bone to bone."
I was feeling super sorry for myself when I got off the train today. I was in pain. I was limping. I was thinking that nobody loved me, because nobody was available to give me a ride. Then I saw a man in a walker, fighting to get off the train. It seemed like he was using his upper body, and arm strength to propel himself along. He was certainly in worse shape than I was, and when you see something like this, when you see that there are others out there suffering worse than you, it makes you pause, or at least, it makes me pause, and realize that it could always be worse, and that you should quit feeling sorry for your sorry ass self.
---------------------------------------
I'm at the train station, waiting for the train. There is a lovely girl, here, waiting for the train also. She has great hair. Her hair is really spectacular. I found myself wondering how long she spends with that great hair before she comes out into the world; then I realize that it doesn't matter, that it is stupid for me to be spending any time thinking about how much time she spends with her hair. The train comes; and I will never see her, or her hair, again.
-----------------------------------------------
It has gotten cold here in my Southern City, I woke up late, such a blessing and went out to feed Monkey, the stray cat, who lives in and about my abode, and he was not waiting for his food, this morning, like he usually is. Maybe I was too late in bringing his bowl of dry and wet cat food to him, and he found breakfast elsewhere. They tell me that Monkey finds his hot spots, during the cold weather. Once he fell through the roof of one of the downstairs apartments onto someone's bed. He was curled up in a warm spot in the roof.
As I came in the door, my cat Jaggar, was peeking out at me from the bookshelf that sits against the wall by the window. I moved fast, and started petting him. Jaggar is so silly, he hates to have my hands upon him, the hands that feed him; he doesn't like to be petted at all. I love him, anyway.
When I got home from taking what they were giving, last night, there was a condom on the floor. I don't have roommates, and nobody had broken into the apartment to steal one, and I wondered just what the heck the dogs were doing with an unopened condom. Perhaps it was a flavored rubber?
-----------------------------------------------------------
Bundy pulled some Alpha Male dog crap, this morning; he headed for Morisson's food bowl, first, ate all that, and then marched over to his bowl, and ate most of that. Morisson cowered like the submissive loving wimp that he is, and just watched Bundy do it. I watched him do it, also, not really believing what I was seeing. Sometimes, the dogs trade bowls, but that was not what was happening, today. I will have to supervise their feeding more closely, keep a tighter eye on Mr. Bundy.
Sometimes, I am the most impatient man on the planet, and this impatience often occurs first thing in the morning, when my goal is to be most calm. The computer takes too long to boot up. The coffee takes too long to brew. The dogs won't come inside fast enough from doing their thing. I need to take a chill pill, and enjoy a slow day; fast days will kill you!
If I start to pet Morisson, Bundy will come up and weasel in on the action, but it is not enough for Bundy that he has one had petting, and scratching his head; he looks over at Morisson and wants the hand that is petting and scratching Morisson to be on his head. What a jealous dog.
-----------------------------------------
I'll love you in Heaven
I love you now.
I loved you when we fought.
I loved you when you were my friend.
I loved you when I was young.
I love you now that I'm old.
And if I might be so bold,
as to predict: I'll love you in Heaven.
----------------------------------------------
God didn't get up, this morning…
The internet that I had been stealing from one of my neighbors was taken from me, shortly after noon, today. Bummer…I was hoping to stay on the lamb until I found a new job, but the powers that be have figured me out. They get every penny due them, make sure of that, but leave you scraping.
My apologies to my neighbor: Bro, they are cutting my left hip out in a week or two, and I was trying to save a dime or two, by cutting in on you, and put the spare change towards food in the soon to arrive six week rehab time that my doctors tell me that I will have to go through to make my new metal hip become one with what remains of the old one; so I pulled the plug on my high speed internet service and cable TV, and cut into your bandwidth.
The cable company won't give you a deal on the internet, unless you "bundle it" with their other "services," either cable TV, and, or their telephone service. Whatever happened to competition being good for the consumer? Everybody offers the same services for the same high price.
I think I'm going to go take a crap. I'm the wrong one here, so I'm going to sweat like hell, and start blaming everybody else.
I click on the song, "I Don't Care," by Black Flag.
This song seems appropriate at this time.
(The idea of living on some sort of an artist commune where the cost of the internet is split between Rainbow, Sunshine and me seems like a good one, right this second, as I look around my small apartment, having just struck a deal with the phone company to put the internet back in here, legitimately, sometime on or before Friday. The bastards advertise a less than twenty dollar plan, but then hit you with a hundred buck charge for the modem that you have to have; of course the modem is free if you sign up for the high priced just less than fifty dollar plan.
If Hunter Thompson was alive, he would have something to say about these bastards, but it's hard to lead a revolution when you have put a bullet in your own head. Didn't Abbie Hoffman suffer a similar fate.
There will be no revolution, and your cult heroes are not going to help you start one: they have money for high speed internet, the cable TV, and the phone service, if they want it. Henry Rollins can leave the air conditioning turned on at this place for the whole time that he is out speaking to you, and it would be very small change to him. Sometimes, life just isn't fair.
The Art Commune would be populated by wanna be hippies, the kids and grandkids of the hippies who grew up reading Thompson,
and left home because Abbie Hoffman told them to. The only thing that they might have in common with their parents and grandparents is that they would love smoking dope, and dropping tabs of LSSSSSSSSSSSD onto their tongues, and guzzling mushroom tea, and this might not be good for a recovering black out drunk who was trying to stay sober seventeen years into his recovery plan as, so I'm going to have to figure out a way to continue paying the internet by myself even with my job telling me that I don't have a job when I get back from rehabbing my hip, because "they don't hold part time jobs for 4 to 6 weeks." Hell, ninety percent of the staff is "part time." Do you think they work you right up to the edge of full time hours and then throw you off the clock so that they don't have to pay you decent wages, and give you benefits?
Fuck if I know.
I just know that this old hip of mine is bone on bone, and it keeps getting harder and harder, day by day, to walk on it, and I just want
it out so that I can get back to Yoga, get back to walking my dogs,
get back to walking anywhere without a cane, and extreme pain.
Oh yeah, and I want to find a job, another shitty part time corporate job where they work your ass off, and infuse their corporate fear into you, cuz you wanna be a good slave masser.
What I really want to do is write; and sell that writing so that would and could be all that I do. Now, wouldn't that be Nirvana; and did not Kurt Cobain shoot himself in the head?
----------------------------------------------------
Eating an olive makes me seek water
The moon laughed at me
sleeping, and then slept
Blowing kisses to the air,
makes my cat, Jaggar, come
to attention. He focuses
his gaze at where my hand
should be holding treats to
toss at him.
High Tide on The 45
More and more people kept getting
on the crowded bus in front of me.
Two women stood in front of me.
My hip was hurting me, I could not
give up my seat, today. I might fall.
A young man, about 12, stood up
and gave his seat to one of the women.
I smiled to myself, and thought,
see there is still good in this world.
------------------------------------------
When someone is nice to me
it makes me feel nice
and it makes me want to be nice.
(For Jeff Waller)
The Internet Kissed You Goodbye
The only place that I read magazines
is in The Lobby of Doctors' Offices.
---------------------------------------------
I'll love you in Heaven
but on Earth I turned
the TVs off,
I kept reaching for the
remote
I don't know if you can
feel me, I know that
I can't feel you, so,
I just tell you how I'm
feeling, and then after
we can figure out something
to do.
At times it seems as if Mnemosyne has forsaken me
I scratch my head, still in the bed, in the morning
without warning it comes over me where I am I don't know
at work I smile at someone and say hello and then
a few minutes later I ask them the same questions again
you are my friend I look you in the eye and say why are you following me
too much liquor when I was young I often say that I am
on the run from Alzheimer's whatever the explanation you must excuse my octogenarian behavior when I am but barely fifty.
------------------------------------------------------------
She's a punk rock chick
a glamour girl
I get so giddy when
my girl comes to me.
---------------------------
I spoke at a tree;
It didn't talk back to me.
-----------------------------
"Poets must be willing to take criticism and suggestion
with a smile…"--The Complete Idiot's Guide To Poetry
------------------------------
Someone pulled the plug on them,
as good as throwing them out of a hotel window,
as good as Elvis shooting them.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
There is this girl who semi-regularly comes into the bookstore; and she keeps looking hotter, and hotter, every time that she comes in. Normally, she has this wimpy guy with her, and I figured out tonight that she must be a dominatrix and wimpy boy is her sub.
The Dom had on a tight black top tonight, revealing her ample assets, and high heels that clicked on the floor like they were in charge, making me want to be her dog.
-----------------------------------------------------
It s like: why do I live here, if there is no internet.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm moving to India, cuz that's where all the jobs went.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
There is a point in your night where you have a though that is either the last part of a dream before you wake up, or is the first thought that you have upon waking from that dream. It's a weird time; fuzzy, and your primary interest lies in making it to the bathroom on time.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Part 1 of a Questionable No. of Parts)
i m still the same i m like a turnip i never change
I'm going to be out in San Fran from the fifth of November,
until the tenth, visiting my old pal Earth Mama. We were
chatting a little bit, last night, on the internet, after
I came home from being on the internet at The Bookstore, to
find that the internet of my neighbor's was once againing
supplying me with the free.
Earth Mama:
hey I have like 5 min.
Can you come or should I try to change the ticket?
I really want you to come!
Hola???
I don t see why I couldn't post pone my surgery a week
and come out and limp around with you
Earth Mama:
We could rent a wheel chair!
Mikel K Poet:
You'll be my tour guide, just don't try to give me
any of those crackers from the sixties…
--------------------------------------------------------------
I asked SexKittenRocker, "Where's The Party?"
expecting no reply: these high class gals
just don't want to have anything to do with me.
Who She'd like to meet:
Artistic types who inspire me to keep working
on my own dreams! I'll be your muse, if you'll be mine!
No mention of Poets. Oh, well.
She, actually, turned out to be pretty nice.
Like they say in The Mortgage Business, "Never assume
anything!"
"Financial security is sexy lol,"--A young lady responding
to why women might find Rapstar Lil Wayne attractive.
----------------------------------------------------
I'm going to see a Cardiologist tomorrow.
I've never been to one. It's all part of this
process that I'm part of to get approval
from my Primary Care Physician for the man
to go ahead and cut my left hip out, and
put some metal in there.
They think that I might be anemic.
The kid's mom says that means that I'm
lacking in Iron. I bet that they give me another
pill to take. This one will be full of iron,
and I'll never have to eat spinach. I don't
mind spinach, but I wouldn't much miss it
if I could take a pill instead.
I take a lot of pills. I got more pills to take
than The Pope has got Priests who have
fondled little boys.
-------------------------------------
There is a point in your night where you have a thought that is either the last part of a dream before you wake up, or is the first thought that you have upon waking from that dream. It's a weird time; fuzzy, and your primary interest lies in making it to the bathroom on time.
------------------------------------------------
My beard is itchy this morning. The closer that it gets to Christmas, the more people tell me that I look like Santa. My beard is white; almost pure white like the evil oppressive white devil who is responsible for all evil on the planet. I won't have a job at Christmas. The man is kicking me to the curb. Dear Santa, please pay my utility bills, and phone bill; I have the rent covered. Thank you, Sir.
I got out of the house, last night, which is rare; especially with this painful hip, that I will have until they cut it out. I find myself staying close to the dogs, cats, and turtles, close to my desk.
I have work to do. I have to "be," a writer. It is not enough just to write, I have to find ways to make that writing pay my utility, and phone bill. I am trying, again, to find an agent for my book, "The Delivery Guy." I have vowed to send a query letter to at least one Literary Agent a day, and I am going to submit poems to three different publications a day. This is the business of writing. I am good at the writing part of the game, but I have been, historically, lazy, or not interested in the business end of the game. I love to create, but I hate to beg. Please, please publish my book, and my poems. There, I did; I begged!
My hip keeps getting worse, and worse. Normally it is much easier to ride my bike about the planet, than to walk, even with the cane that I now have in my possession, but, yesterday, the hip caused me a great deal of pain while riding my bike. I am still working; they are going to let me work right up until the operation, but it is getting harder, and harder to get about. They say that you don't appreciate some things until you lose them: I have lost my mobility and I surely miss it. I can't take Yoga, I can't walk my dogs, I can't swim, I can't walk down to the grocery store and buy some flowers to make me smile.
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The Roman Catholic Church is down on gays. Pedophile priests are ok.
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Notes from http://open.salon.com/blog/mikelkpoet
Damn, Mikel, this causes me shivers. I hate that you have the hip pain. I love your poetry. Internet should be a given.
--Scupper
It's like: why do I live here, if there is no internet?
--mikelkpoet
You sure do have a lot going on inside of you, Mikel.
Thank you so much for sharing it with me.
--lovinfeelin
fuckin fuck, mikel.
yes, he did. but he had an inherent sadness that didnt allow him to see beauty. or maybe, he could see the beauty, but let the ugly be bigger. and he wasnt sober. i wish you could just write too. and i wish your douchebag neighbor didnt steal your stolen internet - i leave my internet open, and currently have two families that use it whenever they can get it to connect, which is fine with me.
i cant wait for your hip to be better, and when it is, a job you like more than the one you have now is going to happen for you. i just feel it. and i find more often than not those feelings count for something.
but i still would like to kick your boss's ass. sorry. that's how i am.
jane smithie redux
Thanks Lovin' I read your first poem, you're on your waaaaaaaay!!
-mikelkpoet
Holly, your letters are getting more and more genius; it's as if you finally don't give a fuck, and are just letting it all hang out; I like that, if there were more people like you around, there would be less shit heads allowed to fuck us, hiding behind their weasel corporations...ha, time to take my meds!
--mikelkpoet
No words I just love how there is so much feeling, so much of you in what you write!
--Lunchlady 2
Thanks Lunch Lady, when your children are grown you will have to reinvent yourself, or at least I did, to fight the impression that you are no longer needed!
Mikel K Poet
OCTOBER 20, 2009 09:57 AM
----------------------------
"I tell you we must die."--Jim Morrison
Boy, this one really came true for ole Jimbo. I guess that if you program into
-----------------------------
So, I was walking the dogs 3 to 5 miles a day, at a decent pace, and I was swimming laps in the pool for about twenty minutes three or four days a week, when I started developing this pain in my inner thigh. I figured that I had pulled a groin muscle, so I started taking it easy, figuring that rest would cure my ailment. It didn't; it kept getting worse, and worse, so I called a Doctor who specializes in that type of thing. He asked me some questions, and then had this hot young thing take some x rays of the affected area.
"You're facing imminent hip replacement surgery in your left hip," he said to me, and then, looking at my mid-section, he said, "Losing some weight would help."
I felt screwed. I felt as if he had told me that I had cancer or aids. The outlook was grim. He gave me a prescription for an anti-inflammatory called.
--------------------------------------
Mostly, I get email from me; copies of things that I send to myself. I don't feel lonely; it's beyond that. I exist in a place that they never told you existed, and I am comfortable here, mostly. Sometimes, though, I long to touch her hand; whoever she is, and wake up to see her smiling in the morning.
------------------------------------------
Mostly, I get email from me; copies of things that I send to myself. I don't feel lonely; it's beyond that. I exist in a place that they never told you existed, and I am comfortable here, mostly. Sometimes, though, I long to touch her hand; whoever she is, and wake up to see her smiling in the morning.
-------------------------------------------
My Primary Care Physician has scheduled an appointment for me, tomorrow, with a cardiologist; they want to see if I have a heart.
------------------------------------------
I went to the heart doctor today; he said that I had a heart, but that he wanted to test it. This is the first time that my heart has been tested outside of love. by anyone who is not a woman
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXP 133
I made my coffee perfect, this morning. I added just the right amount of Stevia, and half and half. It has been cool in this apartment, and I haven't needed the fan that I aim at me, when it is hot, while I sit at my desk; but I miss the noise that it makes, that seems to drown out all the other little noises in the apartment, so I turned the fan back on, this morning, but turned it sideways, so that I get the benefit of the noise, but don't have the cool breeze blowing on me.
The water rushing out of the filter in the turtles' tank sometimes sounds like Niagara Falls. I need to clean the turtles' water, again. It seems like it is always time to clean the turtles' water; dirty little boogers!
Today is Sunday, and I don't work again until Friday. The boss seems to have developed this Friday/Saturday routine for my schedule, which is perfect for me right now, as it is getting harder and harder for me to limp around with this ailing hip, especially on the job, with all that it entails.
One of my immediate bosses is leaving on Thursday. She got a job that is going to pay her double what she is getting from this corporation, that cares not about me. I'm not feeling sorry for myself, this morning, just stating the facts, mam. This boss is leaving apolozizing for how mean she was; she says that the stress got to her. I can, mostly, understand that, if I am in a good mood.
Bundy keeps trying to eat out of Morisson's bowl. Morisson is still a bit skittish about eating around Bundy, right now. Bundy can be a bully. Jaggar keeps approaching Morisson's bowl, also. Even the cat can scare Morisson away from his food. Morisson is a wimp, but I love him with all my heart and soul.
Jaggar is actually eating some of Morisson's dog food, right now. Have you ever seen a cat eat dog food?
*******
It is simply awful when you get to work and you realize that your shirt smells like cat pee. I hang my shirts high in the closet, so I don't see how Jaggar, or Kobain, could have gotten to my shirt, but there are times when I come home from work and I throw my shirt on the bed, or on the seat of a chair; that must be when they found their opportunity.
My Animals Are Not Angels
As I have told you, it is normally my dog, Morisson, who is a wimpy dog, when it comes to stepping up to his dog bowl, and claiming what is his. Tonight, though, Mr. Alpha Dog Bundy, who is usually the one getting Morisson to back down from his food, let a cat, Jaggar the Black Cat put him off from his dinner. Because Jaggar was eating his food, Bundy slithered away like a wimp to the underside of my desk, which is usually where he hangs out, and is always where he hangs out when I say to him, "Go Home."
Jaggar seems to have developed a taste for dog food, and he doesn't care whose dog bowl that he eats it out of. Now, I have an Alpha Cat on my hands, or so it seems.
*******
Leah was the ancestral mother of Jesus.
Bombings, and killings, are mostly the headlines that I run across reading the news on the internet, these days; never peace and love, never one man helped another man out; just that one man killed another man in war.
Having to call American Corporations, in the morning, ruins my serenity.
Press One if you are English, it begins, and then you talk to a computer for five minutes before being allowed to wait ten minutes to finally reach a real person, to talk to about your problems, who often doesn't speak very good English.
You wish that you could press one to get someone that you understand, but you understand that these big corporations have outsourced American jobs to foreign countries, because they are patriotic as hell, and support the war effort.
Now there's a job that is opening up for more kids today: Soldier. We need more, and more.
*******
Dear Facebook: So, after looking in my reflection in her high school window, while waiting for her, I asked Scout if I looked, "Artistic, or like a homeless man," and she said, "Like a homeless man..." Her mom has been wanting me to shave, but I have said to myself that I am not shaving until I get a book deal. Hmmmmmmm.
I think that Scout makes an art out of not doing her homework when she decides that hanging out with her pals, or catching up on some sleep, is more important.
One week, she will be knee deep in her books, obviously on her way to college, and the next week it is, "No, no, no," when I ask her if she has any homework; headed for a job in the school cafeteria, making pizza for the six graders, i.e. working long, hard hours for little money.
*******
Jesus is going to forgive me for my sins, but most of his followers won't. Am I wrong to assume that? Yes, I am. I have no idea what most of his followers would do, and I will never be in the position to find out. Hopefully.
---------------------------------------------
Do I have a heart?
I fed the animals immediately, this morning, mingling in the making of my morning cup of coffee, and, right as I was about to take my first sip of the divine nectar, I remembered that the people from the Heart Doctor's office had said, "No Caffeine."
Bummer I thought to myself, glad that I had remembered what they had said sooner than later.
Can you imagine me on the Cardiologist's treadmill soaked in caffeine, "Why your heart rate is very high, Mr. K, you can't have this new hip."
Morrison is trying to pry my arm away from the laptop. I pet him a little bit, and feel guilty that I am not giving him more attention, that this laptop is often my priority.
One day Morisson will pass, and I may regret all the opportunities that I let go to scratch his head, or to rub his butt because I was ruthlessly pursuing the word.
*******
Cyndi Craven: What will you do with your old hip? Maybe you can sell it on eBay?
Mikel K Poet: Well, I thought that since I am going to be cremated that I should save it, because my new metal one will, most likely, not burn; do you have a freezer in your garage that I could store it in until I die?
*******
Bundy likes to lay down on the floor next to me, when I sleep, in the spot that Morisson occupied for so very long. I would rather have Morisson in that spot for several reasons: one reason is that Morisson is being semi-bullied out of the spot by Bundy, and I don't like to see Morisson bullied, and, two, Bundy does not get up and move when I get up out of the bed; he makes me step over him, in the middle of the night, and when I am groggy, first thing in the morning.
Morisson always moves at the first hint that I am getting up out of bed, when he is in that spot. I am scared that I am going to get hurt stepping over Bundy, but he doesn't seem to care. He thinks that the spot on the floor next to my bed is his spot, and that he can do whatever he likes there. I should probably work on changing his thinking about this.
I love it, in the morning, when the cats are sitting dutifully next to each other, sitting at attention next to their empty food bowls, waiting for me to scoop the bowls up, and put some morning wet food snack in the bowls for them. There is something beautiful in this, something that makes me feel wanted, and loved.
The dogs always gather around the hand of mine that seems to be dangling off of the bed, when I wake in the morning. They expect to be petted, and played with while I am still semi-asleep.
Most mornings, I honor their request. I make one hand pet two dog heads, and it makes them happy. This morning, though I woke with one foot dangling off of the bed. The dogs did not care that my foot was not a hand. They rubbed their heads into it anyway. I found this weird.
I learned a new thing about Monkey, the basically stray cat, who I feed breakfast every morning, and snacks every evening. Monkey does not come get his food when I blow kisses, as I had thought; Monkey comes running to our door the minute that I come out of our inner door. She hears that door open, and that is her cue that something good is about to be put in her bowl. Cats will outwit you, that is for certain, and I am pretty sure that Monkey is smarter than I am.
*******
Since I have spent much of my time in the last two years, saying, "No Bundy. Yes Bundy. Bundy do this. Bundy don't do that," I often find myself calling my dog Morisson, "Bundy." He doesn't seem to mind, unlike a girlfriend would if you called her someone else's name; but it kind of irritates me. Bundy has taken up so much of my time, and efforts that I, sometimes, feel like Morisson has gotten ignored, has become a second class citizen of sorts.
The same thing happened to my dog Javi, when Morisson showed up, so I guess there is a natural pecking order that must be followed when dogs are joining your existence at their whim, or the whim of the great dog God, when you already have another or other dogs.
You have to spend time with the dog that needs the most time. It's not really a matter of ignoring anybody. Morisson knows that he is loved, just as Javi knew that he was loved when Morisson showed up and needed to be trained, and showered with lots of love. I am not expecting another dog to join us, but if he, or she, does, Bundy would have to understand that he no longer gets the most time from me. Wow, that would be an interesting thing to see: Bundy sharing time!
*******
The cats are peeing in the bathtub, which means that they are telling me that their kitty litter needs to be changed. Cat pee is not the nicest smell to have hit you in the face, when you are naked, and anticipating the comfort of having hot water cover your stinky body. Soaping up just isn't as pleasant when your cats are using your bath tub as their litter box.
-------------------------------------------
Fall Back
The bookstore had me be, "The Greeter," tonight, for my first hour on the clock, which means that I stand at the front of the store, smile at people, and say hello when they enter, and try to get them to sign up for book raffles, or get them to sign up for books in advance of their arrival in the store. I also hand them coupons, or fliers when we have them. Most people who work at the bookstore hate this job. I don't mind being the greeter; it gives me a break from the Cafe, where I normally work, making coffee drinks for the mass of man, and woman, and, usually, as the greeter, I wind up running into someone I know, and I talk to them for most of the hour that I am up there.
Tonight, the store had provided a small amount of candy to give to kids. I scarfed on a couple of packages of malt balls to start my shift. Since my kids no longer live with me, I have to go elsewhere to steal Halloween candy from children. Candy is candy, and a man with a sweet tooth like I have, doesn't care which kids he is stealing candy from. Csndy is candy and that sweet tooth has to be satisfied.
I got some weird responses, tonight, when I asked the parents of small children if their kids would like some candy:
"No thanks; he doesn't need any, he'll get more than he needs later."
"He doesn't like candy..."
"She doesn't GET candy."
Since these folks would not let their kids have any candy, I kept going into the box that contained the candy and getting me some. I usually don't like gum, but these two pieces of Double Bubble that I nabbed, and popped in my mouth were especially tasty.
When I was a small child, I remember my mother telling me that, "The stolen fruit was always the sweetest." Though I didn't, and don't, really get much else about her, in this case, I think that I know what she was talking about.
--------------------------------------------------
I'm never quite sure who has the last few swallows of the wet cat food that I set out for my cats, each morning, the cats for whom it was intended, or the dogs who are so adept at sneaking up and quickly downing those last few bites that the cats often leave in the bowl. The dogs know that if they get caught in the cat bowls that they will get hollered at, but they are willing to take the risk; such is a dog's lust for cat food, most any food, actually. A cat will leave food in their bowl, where a dog almost never will, and I can tell who finished off the cat food by how clean the bowls are.
My dogs will eat olives. They will eat pickles, and most unique of all, I think, they will eat ice. My dogs love ice. They catch it in the air like it was a baseball tossed to a professional in The World Series, and then they run off with it, to the other side of this small apartment. I can then hear them crunching it, crunching it, crunching it. My dogs love ice, and I am not sure why. I do know that it is a very cheap snack, and that I have an endless supply of it to give them; all I have to do is keep filling up the ice cube containers with water from the sink.
--------------------------
Jaggar has gotten up on my desk and is laying down on the papers that have accumulated in front of my laptop over the last few day: phone numbers, email address, parts of poems and stories that I have written while at work. Jaggar lays in these papers, as if they are comfortable bed. I smile and think of all the comfortable places that I have set up for him and Kobain to lay on around the apartment; the pillow at the foot of my bed, the comforter in the window sill, and here he is laying around on the email address to a woman who I found quite attractive the other night at work, and who seemed receptive to me, receptive enough, anyway, to give me her email address.
At one point, Jaggar sits up and starts staring at Prynce, and Rue Paul. The turtles don't seem to amaze him, as much as kick in some sort of I'd like to have turtle soup instinct. The turtles are well protected in their home; I know, I have closely watched Kobain try to get in the aquarium with them. If Kobain can't do it, the turtles are safe from all cats.
-------------------------------
Jaggar is an addict. He spends a lot of his time sitting on the kitchen floor underneath the silverware drawer, looking up at the drawer, because that is where I keep the tuna flavored moist treats that he is addicted to. I try to make a game of giving him his fix, throwing the treats in different directions on the kitchen floor, but Jaggar doesn't think of it as a game, I really believe, that he sees it as running down something that he has to have.
Kobain likes the treats, but he is not strung out on them, like Jaggar. He, mostly, only shows interest in them if you place the treat at his feet, and make it easy for him to eat.
It was wintrily cold outside, this early November morning, I discovered, when I opened the door to go outside with the dogs. Bundy took care of business, right away, and then headed immediately back to the house without even being asked to.
No, "Bundy let's go home, Bundy let's go home," was said, this morning. Morisson got right in line behind Bundy, and went home right away, also. On nice days, the dogs will linger outside, acting like they don't hear me asking, or pleading with them, to go home, but when it is near icicle weather, or wet out, they do their thing and then head back for the warmth of the abode, almost immediately.
Bundy, as usual, was waiting to the side of my bed, when I got up this morning. Basically, he demands a head rub, or a head scratch before I am allowed to leave the bed, after a night's sleep. Morisson spends the day next to me, at my feet to the side of my chair. Each dog has their own special way of getting my love.
I am full of that huge feeling of accomplishment that comes to me when I finish reading a book. Some men take pride in making another million dollars, I am happy that I just finished reading Augusten Burrough's most recent book.
There is a new dog in the hood, a loud one, and Bundy's instinct is to growl at the new dog, and bark back; you know show that dog who is boss. What a pretty day.
I'm having a salad, tonight for dinner, a spinach salad, specifically, because my doctor says that I am anemic, and my daughter's biological father, Kevin, says that if I eat a big spinach salad three times a week, I should have the remedy to my situation that needs to be remedied.
I wish that I had all the fixings to go with the salad like onions, and mushrooms, and bell peppers, but I don't have the money for all that right now. I'm not complaining; I feel blessed to have the leaves and the salad dressing, though whoever manufactures salad dressing pisses me off because no matter how slow you try to pour the dressing out of the bottle, half the bottle still comes rushing out, which is good for salad dressing sales, but bad for my diabetes.
The factory, i.e. the coffee shop that I take what they give in, called, last night, and asked if I could come in, today. I never answer the phone when the factory calls: I always let the voice mail see what they want; that gives me time to mull over my decision, and to formulate a reply to whatever it is that they have called about, which is usually can I come in and cover a shift because someone has called in and said that they can't make it.
In this instance, I decided to call them back and tell them that I would come in to work today, one of my days off, mainly because I have five days off this week, and the hours that they were looking for me to fill were decent. My hip is in such a situation that I can't work 90 hours a week, but the extra money that I will get will help defray this exorbitant utility bill that just came to stalk me in the mail.
This job has never scheduled me for more than 12-15 hours, which is perfect for my current my hip is about to be replaced lifestyle. A perfect situation is always what I seek in life.
Morisson just put both paws on my left knee, lifted himself up, and tried to kiss me. I guess that my dog is feeling especially lovey dovey this morning. I know that he doesn't have to go outside to use the facility, because we were just out there.
It looks like a nice sun-shiney day outside. I am happy to be alive. Thank you, Lord, for letting me see the new day, breath the air of another day. Guide me in thought, word, and action, Lord; please keep me off drugs, alcohol and cigarettes.
Amen.
Jaggar has discovered the papers on my desk. Right now he is luxuriating on top of the rough draft of a poem that I wrote several days ago, that has been waiting for me to finish it, and transcribe it onto this computer. I will have to be careful what I leave on my desk. Some papers do not need to have my cat sit on the and crinkle them.
I think that it is awful, pitiful even, that there is mercury in our fish, and that you have to be careful how many cans of tuna that you eat, so that your tuna consumption does not poison you. Man is supposed to be intelligent, but greed overcomes his intelligence, and he does stupid things like pour waste materials into our beautiful ocean that poison our fish. I am not eating meat, these days, and I am trying to not eat fish, but still…
Last night, a person driving a very yuppie car leaned on the horn when I rode my bike in front of them, when they they I shouldn't have, but I know full well that I was well within all my bicycle rights to do what I did. I didn't shoot them a bird, or yell at them(I'm almost fully in control of my emotions, now,) but I did get in the middle of the lane in front of them, and ride my bicycle very slowly, so that they could not get around me.
I have risen very early this morning, 4:30 a.m., have barely had time to make a cup of coffee, and Jaggar has already pointed out to me that he would like something placed in his wet food cat food bowl, and that I need to put water in the bowl that serves all the animals. I am amazed that Jaggar is a male cat, for it is usually a female that points out all my shortcomings, and tells me what I need to do.
I have decided to quit being angry about the fact that my job will not be there for me when I get back from my four to six week recovery from hip surgery period. I have decided that I am going to write my boss a letter, and thank her for all she has done for me, even though she has been mean to me, at times, during my stay on this job. Anger, and resentment, are two things that I have fought for years, and I do not want them to creep back into my existence, whatever the reason, whatever the excuse. I have learned that there is always something good to come out of something back, that as one of my fortune cookies, once told me that, "it is always darkest before the dawn." Last night, a co-worker and I joked about hurting the evil corporation where it is most vulnerable, that is damaging its profits. We joked about destroying the espresso machine, and disabling the copier. We laughed about giving away everything, instead of taking money from people. Ha, ha.
It's five a.m. and Morisson is dutifully at his position by my side. You think that he would be laying on the floor, or still sleeping, but no…he is next to me, waiting for me to slide my hand onto this head and start petting him, and scratching him. What a loyal dog. I love him so.
Jaggar is an addict. He spends a lot of his time sitting on the kitchen floor underneath the silverware drawer, looking up at the drawer, because that is where I keep the tuna flavored moist treats that he is addicted to. I try to make a game of giving him his fix, throwing the treats in different directions on the kitchen floor, but Jaggar doesn't think of it as a game, I really believe, that he sees it as running down something that he has to have.
Kobain likes the treats, but he is not strung out on them, like Jaggar. He, mostly, only shows interest in them if you place the treat at his feet, and make it easy for him to eat.
It was wintrily cold outside, this early November morning, I discovered, when I opened the door to go outside with the dogs. Bundy took care of business, right away, and then headed immediately back to the house without even being asked to.
No, "Bundy let's go home, Bundy let's go home," was said, this morning. Morisson got right in line behind Bundy, and went home right away, also. On nice days, the dogs will linger outside, acting like they don't hear me asking, or pleading with them, to go home, but when it is near icicle weather, or wet out, they do their thing and then head back for the warmth of the abode, almost immediately.
Bundy, as usual, was waiting to the side of my bed, when I got up this morning. Basically, he demands a head rub, or a head scratch before I am allowed to leave the bed, after a night's sleep. Morisson spends the day next to me, at my feet to the side of my chair. Each dog has their own special way of getting my love.
I am full of that huge feeling of accomplishment that comes to me when I finish reading a book. Some men take pride in making another million dollars, I am happy that I just finished reading Augusten Burrough's most recent book.
There is a new dog in the hood, a loud one, and Bundy's instinct is to growl at the new dog, and bark back; you know show that dog who is boss. What a pretty day.
I'm having a salad, tonight for dinner, a spinach salad, specifically, because my doctor says that I am anemic, and my daughter's biological father, Kevin, says that if I eat a big spinach salad three times a week, I should have the remedy to my situation that needs to be remedied.
I wish that I had all the fixings to go with the salad like onions, and mushrooms, and bell peppers, but I don't have the money for all that right now. I'm not complaining; I feel blessed to have the leaves and the salad dressing, though whoever manufactures salad dressing pisses me off because no matter how slow you try to pour the dressing out of the bottle, half the bottle still comes rushing out, which is good for salad dressing sales, but bad for my diabetes.
The factory, i.e. the coffee shop that I take what they give in, called, last night, and asked if I could come in, today. I never answer the phone when the factory calls: I always let the voice mail see what they want; that gives me time to mull over my decision, and to formulate a reply to whatever it is that they have called about, which is usually can I come in and cover a shift because someone has called in and said that they can't make it.
In this instance, I decided to call them back and tell them that I would come in to work today, one of my days off, mainly because I have five days off this week, and the hours that they were looking for me to fill were decent. My hip is in such a situation that I can't work 90 hours a week, but the extra money that I will get will help defray this exorbitant utility bill that just came to stalk me in the mail.
This job has never scheduled me for more than 12-15 hours, which is perfect for my current my hip is about to be replaced lifestyle. A perfect situation is always what I seek in life.
Morisson just put both paws on my left knee, lifted himself up, and tried to kiss me. I guess that my dog is feeling especially lovey dovey this morning. I know that he doesn't have to go outside to use the facility, because we were just out there.
It looks like a nice sun-shiney day outside. I am happy to be alive. Thank you, Lord, for letting me see the new day, breath the air of another day. Guide me in thought, word, and action, Lord; please keep me off drugs, alcohol and cigarettes. Amen.
They are mean women working for a vicious corporation. Karma is catching up to them, and they will all soon be on the sidewalk. Yeah, right; unfortunately people like them never get what they deserve. I take that back. That is the angry me speaking. The corporation takes nice people and instills fear in them, and makes nice people do things that they would never ever do: like be mean to other people in the name of a buck, in the name of that almighty buck that the corporation worships more than it worships God. There is no God to The Corporation, there is only the buck. The Corporation already has excess bucks, but it can never be satisfied; it always wants more, more, more, and it will do anything, manipulate anyone, step on anyone to get them. The Corporation is evil, but people worship it. People have been taught that making the almighty buck in any way, shape, or fashion is o.k.
It's not.
The cats gather by the front door
looking out at a world that they
used to be a part of. They are not
allowed to be outside cats, anymore;
the new abode is situated too close
to traffic, and their owner doesn't
want the to get splatted by a car.
I figure that her phone must be like everyone else's, that it sees my phone number when I call, and that she will have that number to call me back if she wants to. Of course, she may not want to; that is one of the big risks that you take when you call a woman: rejection. Nobody wants to be rejected, but if you don't face rejection in the face, if you don't stare it down, and tell it that you not scared of it, or at least, that you are willing to transcend that fear for as long as a phone call takes, you will never get anywhere with women, or, at least, you will never get anywhere calling them on the phone. I hate voicemail, or, at the least, I hate talking to voice mail, but I did pretty good, this morning. I probably came off as a little nervous, which I was, but I also demonstrated a strong degree of humor. I know that she likes my sense of humor; that is one reason that I called her. Another is that we have become friends. We work together, and I have told her, truthfully, that she is probably the best person that I have ever worked with. She's too young for me. She's got kids, and a family, and all that ahead of her. I have already done all that, and have tied the tubes. Thirty years is a big difference. I'm old enough to be her father, scratch that; I'm old enough to be her grandfather. I can't even imagine being in bed with her. It would be like incest. I doubt that she will call back. She'll use the excuse that she didn't have my number, but really she'll be thinking why is this dirty old man calling me. He must want to go to bed with me.
One Sunday morning my dad got angry, as he was often wont to do, and decided to teach me a lesson. "Come here," he said, and he lead me into the bathroom. "Do you see this? he said, and grabbed me by the back of my head and pushed my face inside the toilet boil, "Do you see what I have to clean up after you? I am tired of having to clean up after you." I didn't know what to say, and didn't have much of a chance to say it. My father thrust a toilet bowl cleaning brush in my hands, and stalked out of the room. I don't think I cried. I did tremble, though. The good thing about this is that it felt so bad that I never did it to my kids. That lousy thing ended in our family history right there, as it should have, and I am glad that it did.
Her picture looks good. Her picture looks really good, but she is diseased. She is diseased of the mind, and she is diseased of the body. You can't really blame her for having the disease of the body. Someone who she loved gave it to her. He went out and got it somewhere else, and then brought it home to her, without telling her, and now it is hers for life. She cries about it. She has to tell everyone that she has it before she makes love to them. She does not want to lie to them like the one she loved lied to her by saying nothing. It is possible for the disease of her mind to be eradicated, but it won't be any time soon. She is not in what they call denial. She does not deny that her mind is diseased, but she wants no part of the solution, at least right now, so she will stay diseased. Enjoy her picture, but be wary, she is diseased.
She is tired of collecting things; men specifically. She can go through her photo album, and it is full of happy, handsome, smiling faces; faces that didn't make it in her life. There is no happy, handsome, smiling face in her life, now, but only because she has chosen to take a break. She could go to the grocery store, or a coffee shop, or a gas station and, almost immediately see a handsome, seemingly happy, smiling face, smiling at her, and all she would have to do is to say hello, and soon he would be a picture in her photo album.
Mary Anne told me, yesterday, that she had just gotten Sylvia Plath's autograph. She showed it to me even, and me not knowing what Sylvia Plath's autograph looked like, just smiled at Mary Anne. Whenever Mary Anne comes to me with an authograph from someone, usually a poet, usually a female and always dead, I know that she is not taking her medication.
I need more friends. I need more money. I need more food in the refrigerator. I need more toilet paper. I am out of meds. I need more toothpaste. I need razor blades. I need a new computer. I need more computer paper. I need batteries for my camera. I need a new camera. I need a girl friend. I need a car. I need new clothes. I need socks. I need new underwear. I'm not making any of this up.
I sent a heartfelt letter to the DSL company telling them how great this guy was who they sent out to the house, last week to fix my high speed internet, that, before he arrived, was moving very slowly. The guy that they sent was friendly, he was knowledgeable, and professional, I mean he practically walked on water, and I sent an email to his bosses telling them so, and within seconds I got an email back from them saying, "thank you;" a form letter, a letter that everybody who writes to them gets. What's wrong with this county? Whatever happened to the human touch?
I hate leaf blowers, and lawn edgers passionately, and anyone that turns one on, and uses it in my ear range at 8:02 a.m. like they are doing now, should be taken out, and shot, or at least arrested, and kept in jail for several years. Who invented these obnoxious machines? When I walk by a lawn edger, I live in perpetual fear that the thing is going to blow a hard object into my eye, and blind me, or my brain and kill me. It looks like a very dangerous thing, and I know it is. I know that if I Google, "death by lawn edger," that the numbers that I will find of dead, or seriously maimed people, will be long. And where do these guys(I never see girls using leaf blowers, or lawn edgers; they are much too smart)actually blow the leaves to that they are blowing. As far as I can tell they either blow them into a neighbor's house, or down the street. How politically correct is that. Again, I say death to these people, and or hefty prison sentences. How dare they mess with my early morning piece of mind.
I've learned that giving your CD to famous people does nothing for your musical career. Dale W. Miller, and I, gave a copy of our Mikel K Band, "Sober," CD to just about everybody famous who came to town, during that era when we were pushing that CD, or at least we gave it to Henry Rollins, and Jim Carrol, and they didn't hook us up with anything, like the fame, and success, that they had, which proves, somehow, that you have to go out there and get your own fame, and success, and you can't depend on some famous and successful person to get it for you.
Dear Facebook:
I have the luxury of eating three eggs in a burrito topped with mayo and hot chili sauce, and not, possibly, get my leg blown off while walking down a road in Iraq, or Afghanistan. I get to sip on hot tea with milk, safely, in my warm apartment. I am blessed, and I pray for those who are not, for whatever good it will do. Does prayer ever stop war?
Dear Facebook:
I've told you that I LOVE days off, and I do LOVE days off: nowhere to be at any particular time, no shower to rush into, no frantic bike ride fighting the pain in my hip. I'm going to San Fran, next week, to see my ole gal Darbi, and her new, well new to me, daughter Charli, and I'll visit with Penny and her family. It is funny how I get along better/best with woman as ex's!!!
Did I tell you that I had a drinking problem. Well, I guess that I still have it, if I pick up a drink, but I haven't picked up a drink in almost eighteen years. It's a miracle really. I spent almost twenty years drunk, going in and out of drunk tanks, and mental institutions fairly frequently towards the end of my boozing,
and, now, I have spent almost twenty years sober.
Three of those drunk years I spent with a lady named Penny. She was drunk, also. We were a perfect match for each other in those days.
MAJOR BREAKTHROUGH: Jaggar, my anti-social cat slept on top of my feet, last night, laying on the comforter that was warming my feet. This is major news.
Jaggar hardly ever comes within touching distance of anything human, including me, his loving master, the one who feeds him, whispers to him, and whistles at him, all the time, even though he always ignores me.
(Dear Facebook: Jaggar, my anti-social cat, slept between my feet. last night, laying on top of the comforter that was laying on top of my feet. This is BIG NEWS; Jagger never comes near anything human, including me, his humble master who feeds him, whispers to him, and whistles at him, knowing that I will get no response in return. I am very happy.)
I found it oxymoronic that the girl on the poster on the back of the bus telling people that they, too, can lead smoke free lives was getting covered in smoke from the bus's exhaust pipe.
It is a whole new experience in many ways walking with a cane. When I got on the bus, this morning, a young girl moved, fast, out of her seat in the handicapped section making room for me to sit down. Peope often hold the door for me, as I leave the bus, when I am holding the cane.
I love crunching crisp leaves with my foot, or with the front wheel of my bicyle.
"I had some dreams, they were clouds in my coffee."
--Carly Simon
You walked into the party like you were walking onto a yacht
Your hat strategically dipped below one eye
Your scarf it was apricot
You had one eye in the mirror as you watched yourself gavotte
And all the girls dreamed that they'd be your partner
They'd be your partner, and...
--Carly Simon
In my living space, I am not the cleanest guy in the world. I grew up in what I call a "Better Homes and Garden" house, a place where I had to leave my shoes at the door before I walked in the house, a place where it got so that I couldn't go upstairs to my room but once in a day, that being when it was bedtime, because my father said that I was putting, "wear and tear," on his carpet, that being the carpet that covered the stairs that lead to my bedroom. I also could only take a shower once a week, because my father said that I "dirtied up" his shower. Coming from an environment like that, you'll have to excuse me if I rebel just a bit against having a spotlessly clean house. Oh yeah, I wasn't allowed to go in the living room, either, yes, again because my presence there would make it somehow unclean.
A woman who came to visit me recently called my place a "dump." That was it for her, really, because even if the place is "a dump," she should have more tact than that. Just because she can eat toast off her toilet seat doesn't mean that we all want to. The funny thing about this is the next woman who came over here found the place "comfortable," and would visit quite often, until it became quite obvious that neither one of us was suited for the other. She was looking to have more babies; she already had a daughter, and I was done having babies; mine were mostly grown, and I was looking forward to pursuing poetry full time, perhaps even getting an MFA in it. I had changed my last diaper, was the way that I was looking at it.
I am not the kind of guy, however, who leaves dirty socks and unclean underwear on his floor. My socks and underwear have always found their way into a hamper of some sort, that is, until now. Now, my hip is bone on bone, and I am going through a lot of pain with that, and will continue to go through pain with that until I go through the hip replacement surgery that is looming in my immediate future. So, if you come over to my place before I have had my hip replacement surgery, let me apologize in advance for the fact that you may well have to step over stinky socks and sweat stained underwear, as you walk about my apartment. It just has to be that way for now.
People ask me how did I wear out my hip: arthritis is the answer, and arthritis is mostly a hereditary thing. My dad who wouldn't much let me shower, seems to have handed me down arthritis, as well as alcoholism, dandruff, and psoriasis, all of which I will get into later. Also, I have a weight problem. I am about fifty pounds overweight, the funny thing about that being that I did not put on all this excess weight until I gave up drinking. You think that one would be healthy as hell, having put down the bottle, but I guess poor eating habits added up to a fat tummy. Fast food may be convenient for a singles life style, but for me it lead to far more weight than is healthy, which resulted in diabetes, which my dad may have also given me. I am being easy on my mother for her role in all this hereditary crap, because, right now, I am not thinking about how mean and lousy she was to me. My father far surpassed her in this category. Looking back on it, I have to think that my father was undiagnosed bi-polar, which, by the way, is something else that he gave to me.
"You walked into the party like you were walking onto a yacht
Your hat strategically dipped below one eye
Your scarf it was apricot
You had one eye in the mirror as you watched yourself gavotte
And all the girls dreamed that they'd be your partner
They'd be your partner, and..."
--Carly Simon
I'm so vain, some people have complained, especially when it comes to the written word, and my existence on the internet. I am quite a social net worker; I was addicted to My Space, before they kicked me off, and I am addicted to Face Book, which they may be in the process of kicking me off of. I am not vain when it comes to my writing, but I am superbly confident of it. Hell, I have been at it for almost 30 years; I would hope that I have gained some proficiency in it.
My Space gave me the boot because of a poem that I wrote that one person complained about. I was up to 5,000 friends on My Space, most of them women in Europe. When it came to My Space, I was using Van Halen Theory, in that if you get the women to show up, the men will follow. Also, there seems to me to be something stupid about asking a man to read your poem, that there isn't in asking a woman. I hope that I am not being sexist here, or discriminatory or whatever. The thing that pissed me off about being booted by My Space was that there was no recourse. Four thousand and ninety nine people did not complain about that poem; one did, and I got thrown out. To me, it seems like the same type of weird fascism that permeates The Fox Network, and most of us know what My Space and The Fox Network have in common.
Anyway, I really love the song, "You're So Vain," and I really love Carly Simon. There is something about her that is just so cool. I was reading, the other day, about how she wrote, "Your So Vain," how she took a bit from her notebook, and then added it to bits and pieces that came to her from other places. I understand this process for it is how I have written much of my poetry.
You're so vain, you probably think this song is about you
You're so vain, I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't You?
Sigh, I wish the song was about me, but I was a day late, at least, and many dollars short to have gotten that one written about me!
Major Breakthrough: Jaggar slept next to me, on the bed last night, and even let me pet him a bit, without him trying to bite and claw me, or running off. I don't know what is getting into this cat, but bit by bit, he is getting a little bit friendlier. My animals never cease to amaze me; just when you think that they are fully developed, and set in their ways, they prove you wrong and do something that amazes you.
I haven't eaten meat in a little over a year, now; which is quite amazing in that I ate it for fifty years. I don't like the way the corporations raise and kill the animals. I think that it is disgusting; anything for a buck is their deal, and any sign of humanity is lost in the process of bringing us food. Sometimes I crave ribs, or a fast food burger, layered with onions, cheese, and mayonnaise, but the craving passes. An animal does not have to die so that I can eat, and I am happy about this.
The guy living next door got foreclosed on. One day he brings me a small bag of cat food, and a single can of wet cat food and he asks me to feed this cat that he says mainly lives outside, but that he's been feeding for nine years. "It's gotten to where she will sleep at the foot of my bed," he says, and he takes off. About a month later, he comes back for a few, says hey and hands me five dollars. The guy is a nice guy; I like him, but I'm thinking man he is not paying me enough to feed his cat. I've got two cats already; I don't need another mouth to feed. Keep in mind that there is a recession that maybe Bush started, and that Obama, maybe, can't do anything about; I'm on food stamps, working a part time job, anywhere from 8 to 15 hours a week, depending on the mood of the boss, and I get a check for being crazy, make that bi-polar. So this cat, whose name is Monkey starts rubbing up on my leg. She won't let me pet her, or hold her, but she likes to rub up on my leg, and I start thinking hey this cat is alright. Next thing I know, a year has almost gone by and I'm still feeding Monkey; she gets a bowl of food every morning right after I feed my cats.
This morning Monkey seemed jittery. She kept looking over her shoulder. I saw the black cat hiding in a bush. Monkey ran off, and the black cat jumped up to where Monkey's bowl was. The cat didn't look like a street cat. I wasn't sure what to do. Should I scare the cat off, or should I let it eat. Should I try to interfere or should I let the two cats work out any differences between them. When it comes to human, I have learned that I am not God, so I decided to take that approach with the cats. I sat there and watched the black cat eat for awhile. He must have been hungry, because he, or she, didn't run off when I got up from my chair; the cat kept eating. I went inside to clean out my turtles' tank. I was headed to San Francisco for five days, and I wanted their water clean while I was gone. I checked back on the cat's food bowl after I had dumped the turtles' water. The black cat had not ate it all. Monkey showed up while I was there, and started meowing. I didn't know if she was pissed that the other cat had eaten out of her bowl, or if she was begging for more food. My new rule that I had just made up was that no matter how many cats showed up and ate out of that small bowl that was all they were getting, Monkey included, once a day.
When I clean the turtles' water, I carry the aquarium into the bathtub so that I can rinse out the little brown pebbles that sit at the bottom of the tank. Today, I almost hurt myself because my leg from my knee up through my hip on my left side is almost useless because of my shot out hip. I cracked the glass at one end of the tank, which was quite aggravating. I didn't know if I had cracked it enough for it to leak or not, and here I was leaving for five days.
The older that your kids get, the less that you see of them; at least that is the way that it is for me.
A lady from the Doctor's office called, yesterday, and said that my hip replacement surgery will take place in three weeks. I have never had surgery before, but I am really looking forward to this two hour session. I will be knocked out for the length of the surgery, and I have no idea how I will feel once I am brought back around by the anesthesiologist. I probably won't feel great; I will be groggy, and in a bit of pain, I would think.
Right now, I am in constant pain. My left leg is, basically, useless. I kind of drag it along with me, wherever I go, leaning on a cane, or depending on my bike to get me places because it is less painful to ride the bike than it is to walk.
This whole bum hip thing has been a very humiliating experience. I have learned a lot about myself, and I have learned a lot about living with pain. I have, also, learned to notice people around me who are in the same, or worse shape than myself: people on canes, people in wheelchairs, and people limping get a lot more attention from me than they ever did. Seeing them usually makes me feel less sorry for myself, and my situation.
Knowing that others are suffering the same as I, or worse, is a very humbling experience. I don't know that I feel sorry for myself, but I do know that I have gotten angry over the situation, at times, kind of a, "Why me? Why me? type of thing.
I am sure that I will have many more challenges placed in front of me, as I further age. I am glad that the challenge of having a bad hip is coming to an end. I have heard marvelous things about hip replacement surgery, and what it has done for folks in pain with bad hips.
It is weird to thing that my hip is going to be cut out of me. I want to be cremated, when I die; should I get my old hip from my Doctor, after the operation, and stick it in the refrigerator until I pass away so that it can be added to the rest of me and burned also?
The Grocery Store was full of well-dressed, good looking folks, today; and me. I haven't showered in a couple of days, my hair is long and scraggy, and unwashed, in the aforementioned two days, and my beard belies the fact that I don't have much of a job.
There was no one in the grocery store who looked like a musician, or artist. There was a gathering of unfriendly men and women getting the jump on buying things for Thanksgiving: the holiday was three weeks out, and these folks were, already, stocking their freezers, loading their refrigerators, and padding their pantries in anticipation of, um, giving thanks.
Isn't it weirdly, and awfully, funny, to beat nearly beat someone over the head with a turkey drumstick, in a fight for the primmest whole turkey, or the last box of stuffing, that will be eaten on a day where, allegedly, gratitude is the driving motivation?
If I was still prone to trust my first opinion, I would have to say that they were a mean, and mercenary bunch, but I don't know them all that well, and I have learned in my five decades plus two years on the planet, that you can't tell how a person is, by the way that they look.
I somehow feel more comfortable around lower income people, though; at least they will smile at you, say hello, and move their cart when you want to pass them as they stand in front of a particular product for a half hour trying to make that all important purchase decision.
My ailing hip, the one that will be replaced on December 7 at one p.m. has put me in some strange places, and this was one of them. Had I been able to run, or even walk, I would have walked, or ran, away from this place, and these people, and done my shopping at another place and time; besides I don't eat turkey any more.
This woman from the internet called me, and when I told her that I had no friends, she said, "Well us folks from the internet is real, too,"
I laughed and said, "Ha…no you're not, you just exist inside of my computer!"
She knew from reading my blog that I was going to have my hip replacement surgery in several weeks, and I asked her if she had an extra freezer at her place so that she could store my old hip until it was time to have me cremated i.e. upon my death.
She said, "No," and told me about the time that she had come home, and found one of her cats dead, and had put the cat in the freezer until her husband got home from work. She said that that was the last thing of that nature that she would ever put in a freezer, and that there was no way in hell, even if it wasn't bio hazard material, that she would hold my hip for me until I died.
An Internet Moment:
Mikel K Poet: It sucks to be independent when you need somebody, because they are not around.
David Herrle: I've been there, Mikel. It's a blessing sometimes, but also a desolation. We're all "here," though!
Mikel K Poet: It is weird because the above statement that I made was a momentary reflection on the fact that I couldn't much get myself to the grocery store, and back, because of this hip; these days I travel on a cane…and, then, Danielle appeared out of nowhere, and came through for me with a ride.
I have nice food to eat tonight because of Danielle. You have to be thankful for what you have, and, sometimes, seek help for what you don't have. I have been conditioned to be an island, and on my island I must stay; sometimes, this is not the best way.
After I walked through the fire, nothing else mattered. Refuse to feed on the fear they give you so freely. When nothing else matters, it's about the way you feel inside…
Bundy went ballistic, this morning as someone was lightly tapping on our front door. "Go home, Bundy, Go home," I said to the dog in a loud voice, but he wasn't going anywhere but where he was at barking viciously at the unshaven man who stood at the door holding a fast food breakfast sandwich in his hand.
"Hey, can I use your outlet," he said. "The guy across the street wants me to clean up the house next to yours."
The house next to mine, had been foreclosed on by one of our marvelous banks, but they hadn't, as they never do, seen fit to maintain the property that they had repossessed. It was a nice house, an expensive house in an expensive neighborhood with a scattering of lower rent apartments throughout it, like the one that I was living in; but, right now, in the hands of the bank, it looked like a crack house.
Someone had put a plywood board over the front door, and the lawn was a unsightly mess, Medusa's hair coming to mind as then nearest metaphor. The neighbor across the street was obviously worried about the expensive dump's affect on his property value. It might be hard to sell a house across the street from a pigsty that the bank cared nothing about, except for the money that it could get out of it, and, also, it was an eyesore: I'm sure that the guy across the street was tired of gazing out his window and across his nicely manicured lawn at such a disappointment.
For a moment, I thought that I should say no, "No, you can't use my electricity to clean up that house. The bank should clean up that house, and at the least, the bank should write me a check for an hour or so use of my electricity."
The bank is in the business of collecting checks; they don't write checks, so I knew that I would never see a dime from the bank. The unshaved bastard holding half a fast food sandwich needed, I'm sure, the money that the man across the street was going to pay him. He was either going to buy a bottle with it, or head to one of his early on 12 step meetings, and wanted a dollar to put in the basket.
I didn't even hesitate as I told the guy, "Yes, you can use my outlet."
Just because the banks suck, doesn't mean that I have to.
OpenSalon.com has these things called Open Call. I never pay much attention to them, because unless someone is paying to direct the nature of my writing, I prefer to blaze my own path. They have one going on now called, Sexiest Man on OS - open call."
Someone nominated me; or mentioned me:
i would pick mikel k, because his poems so often move me, and speak such truth. he could make up love poems all day long. real love poems, not passionate shepherd nonsense (which i also love, btw).
Me sexy? No, she said the poems are sexy! Either way, thanks. As I sit here overweight, unshaven, un-showered, about to have a hip removed in three weeks, I suddenly feel...well, sexy because of you!! And you are sexy, too!
Morrison did not touch his breakfast, this morning, and I am, now, figuring out why: he has gas; he has gas real bad. He is laying next to me on the floor, as I sit at my desk and type, and it sounds as if his stomach is about to erupt; volcano is the word that comes to mind: a volcano churning, and getting ready to explode in his stomach.
Morrison was a guest at someone else's house for the five days that I was recently California dreaming, and who knows what he got into over there. There are four dogs in that house to badly influence him.
"Here, Morisson, try some of this…it tastes good."
Disruptions in normalcy are mostly felt by the cats, dogs, and turtles when I take a trip, but that will certainly not limit me from taking trips. I love to travel, and I love to come home from my travels. strung out on homesickness. There is great peace in normalcy.
When I eat a bagel, I almost always want another bagel. Most times I do not give in to this sugar craving, because I know that it is bad for me to eat multiple bagels: it is bad for the size of my tummy, and it is bad for my diabetes: bad, bad, bad. I like eating bagels at home more than I like eating bagels out. At home I can control the amount of butter, or peanut butter that I put on my bagel. I really like peanut butter on my bagel, and, if I have it, which I don't, right now, I like to put raspberry jam on top of the peanut butter: yum, yum. I also love chocolate, but I will tell you about that at another time.
I have a very bad case of psoriasis, another thing that my father bequeathed to me, along with dandruff, a drinking problem, a bi-polar issue, skinny legs, and blue eyes. Some people inherit hotel chains, I got all of the above.
Several months ago, I grew beard, the best bear that I can grow, not a very thick beard, mind you, but a beard that has a distinct personality of its own. I was riding my bike to work one day, recently, and this young kind of hippy chick girl hollered, "Nice beard," at me. My son's mother, on the other hand told me that I looked like a homeless guy.
Anyway, over the last week to ten days, my beard has started to itch. I need a remedy, so I went on the internet. Basically, the only advice that I could find was to scratch it, which I have been doing. I really want some quick fix, in the form of a lotion; something that I can rub on the skin below my beard that will take the irritation away. I 'll keep looking.
OnlineHost: *** You are in "Romance - Poet Seeks Muse". ***
OnlineHost: Windkist01 has entered the room.
Windkist01: Muse seeks poet ; )
OnlineHost: Windkist01 has left the room.
Sometimes, I'm not sure if I'm being greedy, or rational. I was laying in bed, thinking about Christmas, which is in about a month, and thinking about my surgery date for the hip replacement surgery, Dec. 7, that is, hopefully, going to take me from being a man living in great pain to a man who can, after the surgery, go back to where he once was, when it comes to taking Yoga, walking his dogs, and moving about this world not in a limp, not in pain with every step that he takes.
Anyway, my rehab time, after the operation is four to six weeks, and my job has said that they won't hold my job for that long because I am a part timer. Hell, 87% of the folks that work for the same corporation are part timers. The corporation doesn't want to pay you full time wages: the corporation doesn't want to give you full time benefits, so they call you part time, and work you 39 1/2 hours. Do you realize that "the corporation" is men and women sitting in a nice office somewhere, getting into nice cars when they are done spending their day trying to figure out how to pay the 87%'s less, and then heading to their nice homes, and they don't really care if you or I eat.
Back to my greed: should I bank every penny that I have, since I won't be working for awhile, won't know when I will be working again, or should I buy some Christmas presents for my kids and immediate family? This is what I was thinking while I was laying in bed, staring at the ceiling, having had too much caffeine, too close to bedtime. Am I being greedy trying to fill the pantry with food, or is it a rational move to hoard food, and worry about playing Santa next year?
I wish that there really was a Rudolph, and that he could help me decide.
Sometimes, all the things that I have thought of to write, disappear before I get to my computer to type them down. If I am lucky, I have made little notes, as these thoughts appear, if I am top of my game, I have jotted the thoughts that occur to me, between sittings at the laptop, down in this small notebook that I carry in my back pocket, before I lose them. Rarely do I sit down at the computer, and not have something to write.
I get high when I write; I get higher than I ever did on LSD, marijuana, mushrooms, ecstasy, speed, cocaine, or liquor; and the high doesn't get me in trouble: emotionally, or with the law.
What a blessing.
This lady came into the bookstore when I soon won't be working because they are terminating me because I have to take medical leave, and she said, "Please get rid of that Sarah Palin book." There was a display of Palin's book, "Going Rogue," near the front door.
I smiled at her, and said, "If I had my way, we would!"
I hear that the book is selling well, but not in my part of town. Us blue state types are not down with Sarah.
When the lady left the store, I said to her, "Since you don't like the Sarah book, I could guide you to a book by Sean Hannity, or Newt Gingrich, or Rush Limbaugh." She said, "Argh," and ran out of the store.
A couple soon came into the bookstore, and the man said, "Do you have the new Sarah Palin book?"
I said, "Why, yes sir, it is right over, and I pointed to the display of Palin's books.
The man laughed out loud, and said, "No, no, no…I was only kidding."
I smiled at him and said, "Well, you better get you one, fast, I'm about to light that display on fire."
Sometimes, people ask me what I do besides write, and I look at them as if they are crazy. Perhaps the best way to explain this is to tell you a story that my good friend, Dale W. Miller.com told me about a drummer in a famous band. The drummer was giving a seminar, and someone in the audience raised their hand and asked him what he did when he wasn't drumming?
"Not drumming? Man, this is it. This is what I do: I drum."
I haven't played you a song in awhile. The waiting is the hardest part. "The Waiting," is a Tom Petty, and The Heartbreakers song that I didn't understand when it first came out. I think that I was living in L.A. at the time, and drinking heavily. The drinking heavily part had nothing to do with it. I was, and would have been, drinking heavy, at that time, no matter where I was living.
Oh baby don't it feel like heaven right now
Don't it feel like something from a dream
Yeah I've never known nothing quite like this
Don't it feel like tonight might never be again
We know better than to try and pretend
Baby no one could'a ever told me 'bout this
I said yeah yeah
The waiting is the hardest part
Every day you see one more card
You take it on faith, you take it to the heart
The waiting is the hardest part
"The Waiting," seemed like a departure for Tom Petty, and I wasn't sure that I wanted him to depart. I didn't want him to challenge me. I wanted him to be the same comfortable Tom Petty that I had come to love over the last seven years, ever since I had discovered him on the cover of The Rolling Stone, and soon put together that fact that this guy on the cover with the sardonic look on his face was the guy singing the song on the radio that I loved so much: "Refugee."
"It don't really matter to me, baby,
Everybody's had to fight to be free."
I wish that I had a hundred dollars a week for groceries, but I don't. Right now, I am living on $117 worth of food stamps a month. The first week to ten days are full of good eating, but the rest of the month is full of some dismal scraping by. Do you think less of me because I have told you that I am getting food stamps? Does that make me some sort of leech; an evil parasite sucking your blood, stealing your tax money? Am I a lousy member of society; a failed capitalist? Am I sucking, unfairly, off of the communal tit?
I read somewhere that something like twenty percent of Americans are getting food stamps right now. Corporations have so fucked us that the government has to feed us? I don’t want to suck your tit, so buy my books, will you?
Isn't it funny how sleep can have a taste to it: I just had a delicious nap. Naps are an essential ingredient of my day: I usually take two, one early in the morning, and one in the afternoon, and each one lasts about two hours. My early morning nap follows my morning writing session which should start around five a.m. and end around ten. I never eat before or while I write, because I get sleepy once I write, and I can not write while I am tired. My afternoon nap does not necessarily last two hours. Sometimes an hour is good, and naps are a great thing for me to have as part of my day. They make me more productive, and they make me feel better about life.
I have sleep apnea, which I'm not sure contributes to my daytime sleepiness, except maybe in the case of the afternoon nap. Sleep apnea means that you have sleep exam, and start wearing a mask on you face, attached to a hose, that is attached to a machine that shoots out air, you are tired all the time, and you snore all the time.XXXXXXX
David Sedaris looks like a writer. I wonder if I look like a writer. A young lady, who was sitting on an airplane seat in front of me, recently, told me that she thought that I was probably a writer, when she saw me. Of course, she said that after I had already told her that I was a poet.
"You look like a poet," she said, which made me start to wonder what poets look like, because there are, and have been an awful lot of us, throughout time, and we can not all have looked the same.
Take Bukowski; he doesn't look like Billy Collins, or Ezra Pound. Bukowski looks like himself, and so do Collins, and Pound. It's rather stupid to lump all poets into one fashion or facial pile. People like to stereotype, though; it makes things easier for them.
"Oh yes, he looks like a poet, he certainly can't be a serial killer."
I spent time on the internet, this morning, and my coffee got cold so I guzzled it. I like guzzling coffee, but this morning I now feel, somehow, like I have missed out on something: that slow sipping process that I am used to. I am debating having another cup: part of me says yes, that it will be an enjoyable experience and part of me is saying no, that second cup will make you jittery. I think, since I will have no human interaction, today, that I will say yes, and slowly sip on a nice hot cup of joe. I'll let you know if I get jittery.
You will never guess who gave me my first hit of LSD…it wasn't Timothy O'Leary or Jim Morrison: it was Ru Paul. Aren't you amazed by that? I am. More on this later.
I once went to Los Angeles from Orlando, trying to get away from me, but when I got to California I found that I was still there. I once went from one side of the nation to the other trying to get away from me
The good thing about when Bundy pukes on the carpet is that he licks it up when he is done puking. I don't think that I have ever seen Morisson puke, so I don't know if he would clean up after himself. I think that it is Bundy who cleans up after one of the cats upchuck. Bundy is the upchuck cleaner upper, and I am glad for this. I will have to remember to give the dog some brownie points when he does soemthing that aggravates me; saving me from cleaning up dog and cat puke on the carpet is a truly magnificent thing: yeah Bundy!
The Wrong Rebekah…
Are you a rich and famous actress yet?
Rebecca
none of the above... you??
Mikel
Ha yes I m a famous actress
Rebecca
should we start calling you Michelle?
Mikel
Michella K
As long as you all are calling me
I couldn't understand why Rebekah blew me off so soon in the instant message session that I had initiated with her. I mean we had never been the absolute best offriends, but we had sat together over coffee, and chatted, quite a few times many, many years ago before she had moved to L.A. to practice her craft, which was to look lovely, and act.
I was sure that big things were going to happen for Rebekah in Los Angeles. At the least, I figured that if we didn't see her immediately lighting up the silver screen, that she would be smiling at us from our televisions, a regular on the hottest new show that Hollywood had to offer.
In our instant message conversation, Rebekah seemed a bit jaded, a bit standoffish; maybe I had used the wrong approach in saying hello to her, or maybe the years out there in Los Angeles, knocking on doors, had been hard on her, and had made her a tad cynical, a little bit angry.
Afte we spoke, I looked back at the conversation, and realized that I had made a terrible mistake: I had been talking to the wrong Rebeka. The girl who I was talking to was Rebeccah, not Rebekah.
Mikel K Poet: I've got to have some sex...I think I'm going to go buy a hooker.
Andy K: isn't it rent a hooker? to buy one would cost a fortune right?
Mikel K Poet: A man needs a maid.
Mikel K Poet: Maybe I'll just get a blow up doll, and return it when I'm done; that seems more affordable.
Mikel K Poet: I am kidding; I am really thinking about becoming a priest, or a nun. They have male nuns, now, like they have male nurses.
Mikel K Poet: A tramp, like me, was born to run: baby are you out there?
Mikel K Poet: I would make brownies, but I won't have any mix until tomorrow. The definition of insanity is wanting to make brownies today, when you won't have the mix until tomorrow. My name is Mikel, and I am a brownie addict.
Christy D: Oh honey, I did not know it was so serious. Maybe you should take a trip down to the Angle. You know you could go 13 stepping there!
Mikel K Poet: I KNEW that you (Christy) would check in on this one!! I don't do the angle, and I was never a 13th stepper; in fact, I am almost perfect in every way...except for a raging brownie addiction...can you help me?
Christy D: Got no brownies, but E and I are going to make choc chip cookies after dinner, and Harry Potter. You know the mom thing!
Mikel K Poet: You are a great mom,, and a great lady...I admire your sense of humor. You wouldn't happen to have an extra blow up doll laying around the house, would you?
Christy D: No, me apologizes: never had use for a blow up! What about your right hand lady?
Mikel K Poet: "One is the loneliest number; it s the loneliest number since the number two.."--Three Dog Night
Mikel K Poet: This was an experiment.(I was joking about buying a hooker, in case you couldn't tell) and, except for Christy, it failed, which means that it was a success, because it is always nice to chat with Christy, on here, and in the "real" world...!!
Keep coming back.
PS Christy D: Two can be quite as bad ....!
A thought on the initial interaction with the woman…If you are all over her. like may I say, a fly on shit, then she will not be interested in you. If you salivate like a Pavlov's dog at her existence, she will blow you off like you run from cockroaches in your supper plate. This is my experience, anyway. The ladies that I "score" like to be ignored, in the beginning; they like the chase, they like to feel as if they are running me down, and throwing the net on me, not the opposite. Love, as they say, is a strange game.
Jesus was a Capricorn--Kris Kristofferson
Jesus wasn't a Gemini like me.
Jesus was a Capricorn, he ate organic foods.
He believed in love and peace and never wore no shoes.
Long hair, beard and sandals and a funky bunch of friends.
Reckon they'd just nail him up if He come down again.
'Cos everybody's got to have somebody to look down on.
Who they can feel better than at anytime they please.
Someone doin' somethin' dirty, decent folks can frown on.
If you can't find nobody else, then help yourself to me.
Egg Head's cousin Red Neck's cussin' hippies for their hair.
Others laugh at straights who laugh at freaks who laugh at squares.
Some folks hate the whites who hate the blacks who hate the clan.
Most of us hate anything that we don't understand.
'Cos everybody's got to have somebody to look down on.
Who they can feel better than at anytime they please.
Someone doin' somethin' dirty, decent folks can frown on.
If you can't find nobody else, then help yourself to me.
Help yourself, brother.
Help yourself Reverend.
Money Don't Matter 2 Night--Prince
Wouldn't it be nice if money didn't matter? (But it does.) Try to pay your landlord with your dreams, your aspirations, your good will. It just won't happen.
Money don't matter 2night
It sure didn't matter yesterday
Just when U think U've got more than enough
That's when it all up and flies away
That's when U find out that U're better off
Makin' sure your soul's alright
Cuz money didn't matter yesterday
And it sure don't matter 2night
It is a nice concept to say make sure that your soul's alright, to imply that your soul is more important than money, but how many of us really feel that way. Does God hang out at the bank?
Hey now, maybe we can find a good reason 2 send a child off 2 war
So what if we're controllin' all the oil
Is it worth a child dying 4? (Is it worth it?)
If long life is what we all live 4 then long life will come 2 pass
Anything is better than the picture of the child in a cloud of gas
And U think U got it bad
Prince is getting serious in this verse, but how many of us heard him, how many of us understand what he is saying, how many of us know what he is saying but just let it roll over us. What can we do about war? What can we do about that child soldier who is not our own? What can we do, even, about our own child soldier. We are powerless, and there is no white chip to pick up for the situation.
Money don't matter 2night
It sure didn't matter yesterday (Yesterday, yesterday)
Just when U think U've got more than enough
That's when it all up and flies away (Flies away, flies away)
That's when U find out that U're better off
Makin' sure your soul's alright
Money didn't matter yesterday
And it sure don't matter 2night
In Paris, they read the obituaries to hunt for apartments!
I had to microwave my coffee, this morning, because I let the coffee get cold. It's five a.m. and I am, pretty much, wide awake. Thanks Lord for letting me see this new day: it has so much potential. It is raw, unlike any other day that I have ever lived. The gift of life is the most precious thing that the creator has given us. While alive, all things are possible. Do you want a new car? Go out and get it. Do you want to shower your children with love? Do it. I fed the dogs, and cats before I made my coffee, this morning, as I usually do. I think that the animals should go first; that is at least in part why I don't eat them anymore: respect. We should have respect for all living things. If we don't need to eat them to survive, why should we force feed them, inject them with growth hormones, and then cruelly kill them to eat? I see no reason why.
You probably can't tell someone that you love them too much. In my case, I am thinking about my kids. I just sent them an email at 5:46 a.m. that says that I love them. They will wake up to find it, and I would think that it might be a great way for them to start their day. I mean it's not like finding a new Mercedes, that belongs to them, now, parked out in front of their living space, but heck it's the best that I can do give my current circumstances. Do you think that handing out Mercedes to family members is a good way to show your love?
I failed to tell you that several days after I returned from Oakland, Monkey, the cat, returned to my front porch, and has been eating the food that I put there for him. It is funny how things can get disrupted between you, and your animals, when you are gone for even a short period of time. Monkey probably wondered what the heck happened to me, even though I left food for my next door neighbor to feed her. Maybe the bond between an animal and a man or woman is stronger than food.
Scout got suspended from school, last week, for two days because she got caught, again, texting in her math. class. Now, if there is a class to be texting in, in my opinion, its got to be math. class so I think that they should have given her extra points, or an extra grade on the report card, for not picking an interesting class like English.
I was always good in math., when I was a kid: they had me in honors math. through tenth grade, the grade that Scout is now in, until I talk them, the school and my parents, out of it. I can't remember what my argument was, but I must have been very smooth to get out of it. Honors math was no fun. It was hard, and most of the kids in the class were geeks. The sad thing that I soon leaned was that regular math was hard, also, and just as boring, and the "cool" kids ignored me, like I was a leper. I guess that I was kind of a geek, also.
If there had been cell phones, back then, and I had had one, I bet that I would have been texting during math., also.
Some of us had bad experiences in the family that we were born into. Maybe it is because the attitudes toward parenting that were held by our parents were harsh(how many times did your father tell you that he loved you?) or maybe it was for some other reason, but, as adults, we find ourselves in atypical(for back then)family situation.
I have nothing against people who eat turkey for Thanksgiving, though I do have something against the folks who killed The Indians, though there is not much that I can do about it, and I fully realize that I am a beneficiary of the brutal, evil killing of The Native Peoples. I ate turkey for most of 52 years that I have been on this planet: this will be my second year that I have not eaten the bird.
The first year, last year, I didn't think that I could do it; I had this idea about how awful it was going to be to just eat vegetables for the holidays (Christmas was looming near by.) My oldest boys' wife brought the neatest non-turkey dishes, though, to add to the wonderful vegetable dishes that my son's mother had cooked. I enjoyed my meal tremendously, and got as full, and happy as I ever had gotten eating the full range of the Thanksgiving meal offerings.
I Googled, "Thanksgiving turkey raising and killing," and I found this post by, "Uppity Person," which pretty much says what I was going to say(except that I think it would have been better for he, or she, to keep the turkey as a pet!:
"I know my bird, because I raised it, was raised in decent conditions, know what it ate, know it wasn't stuffed in a tiny cage with no room to move and nothing to do but eat the hormone/antibiotic ridden food put in front of it, know it didn't have its beak chopped off to prevent it pecking at other birds, know that it was treated respectfully and butchered without a lot of trauma (like being hung by its feet while proceeding down an assembly line with other terrified birds).
I agree that being more actively involved with obtaining your food is a good thing even though my ancestors were not involved with "genocide against the Native Americans , enslaved the African People , and murdered millions across the world in the 20th century".
Wow, Uppity Person really got some mileage out of the evil way that your turkey is raised and killed, rallying against the whole, or much of, the American way of life!!
Have a nice day.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=389&topic_id=7068135&mesg_id=7068403
My friend, Laura Miller, is going to the Doctor, today. Prayers are in order, but I still feel powerless. I'm not always sure that my prayers work, but I'm not sure that they don't, so I keep saying them, but in more harsh situations like the one that Laura finds herself in, it is harder to keep the faith. Laura seems to have a good attitude about it though, here is what she posted in her Face Book:
Laura Miller has to go get a mammogram in the morning. Would somebody else go as my stunt double and get their boobie smushed for me?
Faith, for me, is a crucial thing. Without it, life would be dismal. Right before she went off to the Doctor's office, Laura Miller posted this:
I have a mass in my right breast. I am headed out the door as we speak. Thanks for all the well wishes!
And all I could think to reply to her with was:
Love=sending, I mean what else can you do, in this situation, and in most situations in life but have faith, and send love.
If you pray, will you please pray like Hell for my friend Laura Miller.
"...you can't prove life and love and death are anything more than random happenings."
"...we are all poems coming out of the mud."
And I will let my people know that I am looking forward to meeting a great legend as you.
I was just just taking a nap: Bundy woke me. He doesn't like it when the mailwoman puts bills in our box.
I don't remember feeling loved as a child. I was fed, clothed, housed, and often reminded by my father that it was he was feeding, clothing, and housing me, and that I lived in "his house."
I could only take a shower once a week in his house, and I couldn't walk back upstairs to my bedroom, but once a day, when it was time, at night, to go to bed. But worse, than that was my father often telling me, that, "it was your mother who wanted you, I was too old." I mean what a thing to tell a kid. I lived in fear of my father. I remember running away from his foot, on many occaisions. I can't remember if he actually landed his boot, or his hand on me, ever, but I bet that he did. He took great pride in saying that he, "only spanked me to a certain age."
There is no handbook to fatherhood, and I assiduously avoided doing to my kids, the things that my father did to me that felt bad. By having a lousy father, I became a great one, and you can ask my kids for proof of that.
***
I have to admit that not every cup of coffee that I make is a good one. I make my coffee malita style, and sometimes I leave the water in the micorowave too long while I type away, or I leave the coffee in the cup, after I have poured it through the grounds, while I type away. Malita style is a trick that was taught to me by Matt Bowen, when he was first training me to be a barisita.
In malita style
I was outside with my dogs, today, Thanksgiving, and, suddenly, Bundy made a beeline for the side of the house. Morisson followed him in rapid succession. I heard barking, like a dog fight, and the screaming of my downstairs neighbor, a nice lady, who I'll call Barbara. I limped on cane to see what was going on, and I could see Barbara beating on Morisson, trying, I guess, to get him away from her dog. I don't know if my dogs were just being nosy, and inquisitive, like they most always are, or if there was a fight going on amongst the three dogs. It didn't matter: Barbara was unhappy with whatever was going on, and it was my job to end it.
I started barking commands at my dogs, "Go home," I screamed at them, and thankfully they went home.
"Are you o.k.?" I said to Barbara. My heart was pounding.
"Yes," she said, and I was reassured.
"Is your dog o.k.?" I asked her.
Silence.
I could see vet visits, and hug bills, coming at me now, but I decided to not freak out, and just put some time between the incident, and myself, and Barbara. As Art Linton sings in one of his songs, "Time Heals All."
Hopefully, the next time that I see Barbara, she will have a smile on her face, and I will have my dogs on leashes, like I should have.
"That kid sure has a lot of grandfathers," said one of my grandson Elliot's many grandfathers, and he was right: Elliot, has Grandpa Andy, Grandpa Kevin, Grandpa Mikel, and Grandpa Gary, who was the Grandpa commenting on all the Grandpas that his grandson had.
Grandpa Gary, is the only Grandpa related to Elliot by blood, which is probably what he was talking about. His daughter, Tomi, is Elliot's mommy, and from there the situation might get confusing to anyone who doesn't understand that, to many of us, a family is as much about love, as blood, and I am not saying that Grandpa Gary doesn't know that. Grandpa Gary is a loving person, whose chats on Karma helped me to quit eating meat. Grandpa Gary has, possibly, just not experienced anything like our side of the family; a fairly weird, and very un-Leave It To Beaver like type of family. His daughter's husband had two father figures, as I like to call them, (I hate the word step or half--Kevin and I stepped nowhere, we are still here)and his mom has the greatest lives in sin with her boyfriend, Andy, who loves Elliot like…
I never had a grandfather, so I am happy for Elliot that he has an abundance of them. Maybe one will live longer than the others, so Elliot will have a granddaddy way past the time that some other kid might have had a granddaddy. Maybe one or more granddaddy's will be too busy to spend much time with Elliot; then having an excess of grandfathers might, again, come in handy.
It was a sad day, today, for millions of turkeys.
Yuck. I'm about to start drinking store brand tea. This wouldn't matter so much if it was iced tea that I was talking about: I could put some sweetener in it, add lemon; it wouldn't much matter what kind of tea that I was brewing, but I am talking about hot tea here, hot tea with milk, my second favorite drink in the world behind a nice cup of hot coffee.
Facebook Pop Up: Something's gone wrong. We're working to get it fixed as soon as we can.
Clark: How did your Thanksgiving go?
Mikel: I ate like a pig. Thanks, Lord, for the extra pounds of fat.
Clark: You may need it to get thru the lean months ahead -
Mikel: What lean months? Do you know something I don t? Or do you mean the no job months?
Clark: Uh... just a figure of speech.
Mikel: It s weird to have just a couple hundred bucks and no job. Faith, Clark, faith...
Clark: Sometimes I just can't wait to get off this RIDICULOUS planet.
Mikel: (: I type a smile, but really I'm silent. Clark has been a friend of mine for years. We have made music together; good music. Clark is one of the most talent artists on the planet. He is a painter. He is a poet. He plays a number of instrument well. He is a recovered drunk, who has nineteen years clean, and he has just been diagnosed with inoperable liver cancer.
Clark: I know that's not cool to say but....
Mikel: I understand, or at least I think I do. I have never been in your shoes but, I expect, I will be one day, one way, or another. I have my hip surgery on Dec. 7
Clark: I'm okay now, but when the anger kicks in....
Mikel: That I do understand.
Clark: Are you nervous about it?
Mikel: I gave away a lot of coffee in the week after my boss told me that they weren't going to hold my coffee shop job for me. No I m anxious to have the surgery. I m in a great deal of pain, and discomfort I'm getting old Clark. (I feel stupid whining to Clark about my hip replacement ills, when he is dieing, but I figure maybe I can keep his mind off his business at hand for a moment.)
Clark: Do you have pain medicine ?
Mikel: I met this guy who owns several small market
radio stations and we might could do llke 30 sec bit for that
I have naproxen, the prescription form of Aleve.
I guess i m about to get the good stuff after surgery
Clark: Don't let program stuff get in the way of treating the pain -
Mikel: Folks have already been asking me for my "extras!!"
Clark: I know. You find out what ails everyone.
Mikel: And I said I won t to your program comment
I'll use them as instructed and then shoot the leftovers haven t had a drink all day, no white chip necessary
Clark: It's not as much fun when you're actually in pain.
Mikel: Bummer. Well it will all work out as it is supposed to.
Clark: In fact, it's kind of a drag. Night night K.
Mikel: Night Clark; hug the wife for me.
You spend all year waiting for the holiday, and then, BAM, they are over. We have blazed through Halloween, and Thanksgiving, already this year, and Christmas will soon be upon us. The stores want us to think that Christmas is tomorrow, and are doing everything they can to encourage us to buy. The corporations start lining their shelves with Christmas items, as soon as the last boo is said on Halloween, these days, and, by Thanksgiving, you would think that Santa had already arrived.
Riding my bike home from work the other night, probably my last night ever
at that job, I came across a Honda Passport parked on the side of the street that had been in an accident; it was a beautiful car, except for its front end, which was quite a mess.
I have a friend who is an auto body repair man, and I was thinking how he would like to buy this SUV for cheap, and then he could easily fix, and paint it,
because that is what he does for a living: fix cars, and paint them, if there is no painter in the shop that he is working in. Then, my friend would either drive the car that he had fixed as his own, or he would sell it for a nice profit, for how many among us are able to fix cars that have been in an accident?
As I got past the vehicle's front end, I looked in the passenger side window, and for the first time in my life, I saw discharged air bags. A feeling of fear came over me, and I found myself hoping that those air bags had worked, that the passengers in this Honda had not gotten hurt when they had hit something.
All my life, I have read the sticker on the steering wheel, and on the dashboard in front of the passenger seat that warn you about air bags being within. It was weird, and ominous to see two fully charged sets.
I said a prayer for the people who had been inside, and then I continued riding my bike home. You never know when an accident is going to hit you.
Normally, I ration my avocados, spread them out over salad, or include them sparingly in burritos that I make at home, but, tonight, I decided to treat myself to a whole, ripe avocado, and just eat the moist, delicious bites of yellow and green avocado out of it's rough skin with a spoon; like the avocado skin was a soup bowl, and the avocado was the soup: what a treat!
Then, I fixed my self a hot tea with milk. This was a bit of an experiment because I had bought two boxes of the store brand tea. Normally I buy a nice name brand tea, and I love it, but since I am going to be out of work, with my
upcoming hip replacement surgery, and the rehab time of 4 to 6 weeks that the good Doctor says that I will need after the operation, I am trying both to cut back on what I spend on individual items, and to stock up on as many things as I can.
I make my coffee melitta style; this means that I boil my water fo 5:45 seconds in the microwave oven, and then pour it through the coffee grounds that I have placed in a paper funnel, which I have place in the melitta cone.
Often, during my day, I have a hot tea with milk. The way that I make this beverage, is to fill a cup with water, add two tea bags(it's a large cup,) and then put the cup in the microwave oven for 2:41. I don't know how I came up with these times, but they work for me. Sometimes, however, I forget what I am doing, and I set the tea for 5 minutes and 45 seconds. I usually catch myself, but not before the tea is way too hot for me. The only solution then is to add extra milk. Waiting around until the tea cools down is not an option; I am a far too impatient tea drinker for this.
Jaggar, who has long been unaffectionate, has, recently, taken to sleeping next to my left leg. He put his paw on my shin, scratching it a bit, causing it to itch a great deal, and wake me up. I love that he is finally feeling comfortable enough around me to sleep near me, but that part of my leg is plagued by psoriasis and I can't have Jaggar aggravating it. I may have to start wearing sweat pants to block his affection.
My cats get the cheap stuff, in the mornings, now, as their wet snack. Kobain doesn't mind it, at all. In fact, he often eats the food off of both his bowl, and Jaggar's plate, because Jaggar often doesn't eat his. If I buy the more expensive wet cat food, Jaggar takes more of an interest in it. I guess that he is a wet cat food connoisseur, or a wet cat food snob, one or the other, or both.
Jaggar has this new habit of scratching his paws on the back of my chair. For some stupid reason, when this first occurred, I thought that it was Bundy doing this, because it just seemed like something Bundy would do, although Bundy is not doing things that he is not supposed to with the great regularity that he used to.
The name brand Cola, the Cola whose name you see everywhere, did not last three days in a two liter bottle that I brought home on Thursday: I am drinking flat cola, flat name brand cola. Do you think that they do it intentionally: make it go flat fast, so that you will drink it fast, so that you will drink it before it goes flat, and then go out and buy another bottle of it?
I wouldn't put it past them.
Among other things, my children's mother has pogonophobia, a fear of beards.
When I went out to feed Monkey, this morning, he was nowhere in insight. Instead there was a large monster picking up bags of leaves, and other trash, with its huge claws. I had never seen such a department of sanitation vehicle. It was quite impressive, and for Monkey, I am assuming, quite scary.
I am in quite a bit of pain this morning, which leads me to wonder what next week will be like, when I am not allowed to take the anti-inflammatory pill, naproxen, that I have been taking for the last several months. Often, when you predict pain, or hard times, they do not turn out to be as bad as you have predicted. Let's hope that that is the case with my hip, and leg pain.
My hip replacement surgery is going to take place a week from today. I do not know, fully, what to expect; I just have bits, and pieces, in my mind of what is going to occur on that day, and what to expect afterwards. I don't know how big my scar is going to be, or how long that I am going to be in the hospital, after the operation. I have a pre-op appointment scheduled for the morning of the surgery. I will learn a lot there, and have many of my questions answered I am sure.
I have never had surgery before in my life. I am looking forward to this one, because I understand that after a rehab period of four to six weeks that my life will go back to where it was before my hip went out on me. I will be able to walk my dogs, take the yoga class that I so love, and not limp around the house, and the world, in intense pain.
You can't beat that, now can you?
I was sitting at my desk, reading a book, writing some poems…the usual, when a friend of mine sent me a message on Facebook.
Her: Do you drive? Like as in a 24 ft moving truck?
Me: I thought about it, and replied: Is that the really big truck? If so I would be scared to, but I would try if you really, really needed me to.
The rest of the conversation went like this:
Her: Well, I gotta move it...kind of scared to do it too...but got to be done so~I think I'm gonna give it a try...your help would be appreciated, but if you don't think you can...don't worry...wouldn't want to injure you so close to surgery time!!!
Me: I'll try.
Her: Really? Are you sure? Leaving work in about 30 mins...can I come pick you up? Are you really sure?
Me: I'll try! See you in 30.
Her: Cool!!!
It is weird: yesterday my hip was giving me great pain, and I woke up, this morning, and my hip was acting as if it was almost brand new. The weather seems to affect how my hip will act, what level of pain it will give me, and I think that it is also whimsical, deciding arbitrarily, each day, whether or not to plague me.
So, as I was driving the massive rental truck down Moreland Ave., yesterday, my friend calls from the car behind me, and says, "We need to put gas in the truck; why don't you pull over somewhere easy."
I pulled into "somewhere easy," a gas station that I have been buying gas at for years. I pulled up to a pump, and my friend walks up, and points out that the little hole for putting gas in is on the wrong side of the pump, and that I will have to move the truck.
As I am driving around the corner, at the other end of the gas station, I run the massive rental van up against a police prison van, that the police have just put a prisoner in.
Fun, fun.
I used to bring a date under one arm, and a fifth of jack under the other arm, to FSU football games, and when I'd wake up in the morning they'd often both be gone! At the time, I thought that this was fun, but the Jack Daniels consumption, then, was indicative of a huge problem that I would have with booze in general later, and, of course, I have yet to figure women out, and why they do, or don't, show up in my life, and then disappear from it.
A week from today, I am going to have hip replacement surgery. For the next week, I can not take Naproxen, which is the only thing, I believe, that has been keeping me from intense pain in the hip to knee areas of my body.
I don't know what to expect from this surgery, and I don't know what to expect from the removal of this anti-inflammatory pill, except for even more pain than I have been experiencing while taking it, and that has been quite a bit.
I've been wondering, tonight, if there are any illegal pain pills, that wouldn't thin my blood out.
Pain sucks.
Facebook headline: I've got to have some sex...I think I'm going to go buy a hooker.
I was kidding here; trying to get reactions from my FB readers. Sometimes, I'll do anything for a laugh. I think that buying sex from a hooker is a lonely, depressing,
degrading experience, both for you, and for her, or for you , and him, if you are engaging in homosexual prostitution. Sex should be loving; it just should, and I am not basing this on any religious preaching, I am just basing this on the way that I feel about it.
There was this prostitute who used to hang out on the street corner near this coffee shop that I worked at. She was a major babe, and stayed busy, all the time. She told us that she had kids, and a husband, and was just doing this for extra money. I felt sorry for her. I guess that she had the advantage that she was not strung out on heroin, or crack like so many other women who walk the streets looking to trade their body for dollars.
I guess, though, that this world is about choice, and if two grown adults want to have sex for money, that might be their business. I think that there are too many laws, and that most laws benefit the men and women who made them, or the men and women who made the men and women who are making the laws.
It's a crazy world out there, and I don't really have all the answers, although on some mornings, when that first cup of coffee has kicked in, I think that I do.
Beware of a coffee drinking man, who, sometimes thinks that he knows it all: he doesn't!
Facebook Heading: Jaggar has a strange attraction to my feet. He often rubs up against them during the day, indicating that he wants something. He sits near them, when I am at my desk, and, now, at night, he sleeps near them on my bed, sometimes biting, and or scratching them, if they get too close to him, while he is dreaming: weird cat, really. Good morning, world!
Tanila, Jagga But sounds like a pretty cool cat! (even if he does have a foot fetish).
r was found in a fast food parking lot, chest caved in, his mother dead next to him, run over by someone in a hurry to get a Big Mac. He was nursed, and nurtured, back to life by a concerned staff at a vet's office, and they turned him over to me, when he was ready for the "real world." Jaggar has always been anti-social, but I still love him. Love will bring you around, yeah yeah!
A woman who I can't put down
Books bore me,
I'm looking for a book
that I have to read
from cover to cover.
I'm looking for a woman
who I can t put down.
--Mikel K
Tue, December 1, 2009 5:36:35 PM
From: nastymom Subject: Let's meet up today
To: [email protected]
Let's meet up; send me a message below, and let me know.
NastyMom?
Send her a message? What kind of message?
I bet she would move on fast, if she is a she, when I
sent her the message that I don't have a credit card.
How dare they call a, "Mom," nasty?
Aren't most moms practically virgins, at least since
they have had the last kid?
She wants to meet up. Ha ha. You really got to love
the creativity of these online hustlers, and the beauty
of the false characters that they create to get you
interested in their porn, or phone sex. What losers.
I hope that they all go broke.
Go away, and quit spamming me.
I just had a dream, while taking a nap, that I was about to be given the keys to a city. What city, and why I was being given them, I'm not sure: I woke up before I found out why they were giving me the key. I woke up because I had itchy eye so bad, that I had to get up, and go to the bathroom, and put some drops in my eye. I wonder how many people have failed to get their key to the city because they had itchy key; not a lot I would imagine. I wonder how many people were about to receive a key to a city, and did not know what they had done to receive such an honor.
I have some wack dreams. Mostly I can't remember my dreams. I can only remember them if they come close to when I wake up, and even then, I forget a lot of them. I know that you are supposed to analyze your dreams, some people even say that you should write you dreams down, but how can you do any of that if you don't remember them?
Maybe in my dream, I knew the reason why I was receiving the key to a city. Maybe I just didn't know what city it was, but I will never know. Dreams don't come back to me later. Once I wake, what I know is what I know. What I remember about my dreams, is what I remember. It kind of sucks to be getting a key to a city, and not know why, and to not know what the city is.
Oh well. Maybe I'll take up tennis, again, once my hip is replaced, and I will win a trophy, or two. It won't be the same as winning a key to a city, but what can you do. Dream until your dreams come true.*
"We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out." - Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962
This gives me hope, as an author. Although, I don't "submit" very often, I will have to always remember that someone said, "NO," to The Beatles!!!
Mikel K Poet: Thanks, Art Linton, for posting this in your wall.
about an hour ago.
Billy Fields: Yep. That is a good one.
LeeAnne Leslie: Someone also said no to Sylvia Plath, and to Eva Cassidy...now, years after their deaths they are legendary..
Mikel K Poet: I want to be a living legend, getting paid in the here, and now.
LeeAnne Leslie: Of course... just saying, that recognition is not an establishment of talent...Look at Britney Spears.
Mikel K PoetI'm a recognizable talent: if you have your eyes open, your ears tuned, your brain turned on!
I didn't feel like getting out of bed, this morning. It wasn't one of those lousy mornings, that I had lived with for so long, where depression had got a hold of me by the neck, was strangling me, and was not allowing me to get up; it was one of those great mornings where I was happy to be alive, and I just wanted to lay there, on my comfortable bed, enjoying the new day, without jumping right into it. And besides, Bundy was at the side of the bed, panting, and puffing, demanding to be petted and loved, and I just wasn't ready to start all that with this dog quite yet.
Bundy has calmed down a lot, from when I first inherited him, but he can still be high maintenance. He especially gets excited first thing in the morning, when he sees me about to get out of bed, and also when he realizes that he is about to be fed, and when he sees me grabbing my coat and cane, figuring that that means that he is going to get to go outside.
Love is not always given to you the way you want it, but if you are wise you can figure out ways to accept it. Donald Miller says that we have to stop looking at our lover as if they were Jesus. I'm not a Christian, but I understand what Mr. Miller is saying: none of us are perfect, and if we go about looking for perfection in our loved ones, we will never have love at all.
The crack that I put in my turtles' tank, several weeks ago, changing their filthy water, does not seem to be deep enough to expel water. I am happy for this, because it means that I will not have to buy a new turtle tank with money that I don't have. The turtles seem happy in their new cracked home; maybe they are thinking that their digs are now bohemian, man, though I doubt it: doesn't an unfixed broken window usually denote poverty, and not hip-coolness?
I probably look forward to my first cup of coffee in the morning more than I look forward to sex. My first cup of coffee in the morning does not lead to bickering, and misunderstanding. It does not lead to breaking up, and emptiness. My first cup of coffee in the morning is always there for me; it is like one of my dogs wagging their tail saying that I am loved, and not a lover who has seen through me, and realizes that I am not, "the great poet," but I am a flawed man, with many imperfections, including one that claims that I have no imperfections.
Morisson is much less forceful than Bundy in his search for my love, his search for my affection. Morisson uses a submissive approach, sneaking up quite often and trying to remove my hand from the keys on the laptop. Morisson loves love, and he knows that he is loved, while I think that Bundy is still trying to figure that out, and, once he has, once he fully knows that he is loved, like Morisson does, he will calm down.
At least that is my hope.
My holiday bonus check
Wed, December 2, 2009 10:19:31 AM
From: EddieA
[email protected] $500 holiday bonus check
Yo, EddieA, you sending a bonus check my way,
and all I have to do is click on the handy link
that you provide. I never heard of you, I never
worked for you. Are you pushing porn, or, maybe,
a virus?
Shoo, EddieA, shoo.
Kobain comes back to his dish, about an hour after eating his breakfast snack, which is about a tablespoon of the store brand wet cat food. He looks in it, and then sniffs it, and then he walks over to Jaggar's bowl, looks in it, and sniffs it. Looking a little bit disappointed, Kobain then walks over the water bowl in the kitchen that he shares with Jaggar, and the two dogs, Morisson and Bundy. There is water in it; he walks away looking satisfied.
Our dating service is for you. We have lots of registered women who are interested in older men. How dare they categorize me as an older man. At 52, I figure that I am just getting started. How old are these women that are supposedly interested in me? Some people will stick their noses in anywhere to make a buck. I'm not even looking for a woman right now. I'm too old for all that.
As I get closer to next Monday, when the old left hip that I have, will be replaced by a new metal one, I'm getting all kind of great offers. My friend, LeeAnne has offered to manage my drag career, a career that I didn't even know was available to me. Is there a market for a hefty 52 year old man, who was never considered GQ, to run around in a blonde wig and mini-dress? Gag me with a spoon.
It occurred to me, tonight, as I was making coffee, that when I am talking to myself, as I go about this small apartment, that I might not always be talking to the dogs, cats, or turtles.
What if one of the dogs or cats calls the loony bin, and says, "Look here, this fellow that feeds us, has been talking to himself. Of course, that would be biting the hand that feeds you, and my dogs like to eat, so they will probably let me go on going crazy, if that is what I am doing, as long as I feed them. The people from the mental institution will show up, eventually, to find some very well adjusted, and very well fell animals, and an aging man who has long gone crazy. Well, he isn't hurting anyone, they might say, and who is going to feed these animals, if we take him away? They leave us alone, and the dogs, cats, and turtles, and I breath a collective sigh.
Cats are very intuitive. I'm convinced that my cats talk to themselves, also, but I am so busy talking to myself, that I mostly can't hear them. I think that dogs are more likely to go crazy thank cats; in fact for the longest time I was convinced that Bundy needed lithium, and I am not completely sure, now, that he doesn't. That dog is just a little bit crazy.
Does anyone have doggie umbrellas that I could borrow for my dogs?
It turns out that at least two sources sell doggie umbrellas. They looked pretty much alike, but there was a five dollar difference in price. You can find out just about anything on Google, now can't you? Rupert Murdoch doesn't like this. The fat old billionaire is lusting for another billion. What a pig.
Some people I have respect for and some I don't, and the older I get the more I am learning that we are all just human. I used to worship John Lennon…
I'm going to have to take a shower, today. When I was younger, I used to love taking showers, now I look upon them as a chore that must be undertaken to keep people from running away from me. My first morning coffee has been delightful. I am thankful to see this new day. Rain rain...
Jazz is not going to come back on our schedule, he is going to come back on his schedule. This pearl of wisdom just hit me, as I was contemplating baking banana bread for the very first time. Can someone make the bananas ripen up for me?
still talking to yourself? hehhehe
I always talk to myself, even at work,
in front of customers, on the register.
I m crazy.
You didn t know that
You must be crazy, if you didn't notice;
you've know me long enough.
Isn't it crazy how the crazy don't notice
when someone else is crazy?
My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard!
From: mymilkshake
Cum check me out!
I'll let you have a taste!
I'm going to bake banana bread from scratch, for the first time in my life. The young girl at the grocery store where I bought the ingredients, today, asked me if I was a, "Senior Citizen," and I said that, "I sure was," and she knocked three bucks off the bill.
Hey Sugar, are you being neglected?
From: Get Down To Business
To: Mikel K Poet
Why don't you let me take care of that?
I know how to please a man and get down 2 bidness!
Send me a hello if you like!
Oh yes, I would like to send you a hello. Can I give you my credit card number, and, maybe, my social security number, while I'm at it. Why don't I just open my wallet to you, and let you eat a deep hole in it. I bet that you are never satisfied when it comes to money. You would just swallow it all wouldn't you?
Somewhere around that point where sleep ends, and being awake takes over, I experienced this fear about my upcoming hip operation, which is now four days away. This is the first time that I have had any concern about the operation, and the fear lasted for only seconds.
Everybody can't be a poet, just like everybody can't be a doctor, a lawyer, or a mailman or woman.
I need to go to the Eye Doctor. I am supposed to go once a year, and, right now, I am several months behind. I wear reading glasses. Glasses can be a pain in the rear, but they help you see. Everything is blurry on my computer, and in the books that I read, if I don't wear reading glasses. I thought that that was important for you to know.
I can pretty much tell if a woman and I are going to make it by her interest in music. If she thinks that the band, "Fear," is a bunch of noise, then she has a music interest much like my parents did. See ya.
Jaggar is getting better about not scratching, and biting me, in the middle of the night, unless that was Kobain that I rubbed my feet up against, last night, while sleeping. One of the cats left a small pile of poo in the hallway that leads to the bathroom. I didn't step in it, which you have to be thankful for, as I headed for that first sleepy pee of the day.
It is Thursday; my hip replacement surgery is getting closer and closer. I really don't know what to expect; what it will be like to be put under by an anesthesiologist , what it will feel like to wake, and have a new hip. Will there be intense pain? How much trouble will I have walking? How much help will I need?
I think that I am a fairly independent person. It will be weird to have to depend on others for basic needs. I'm not exactly sure who the people are who will help me with these needs, but my son's mother seems to be offering her assistance, and, strangely, enough, maybe, many of my friends on Facebook have said that they want to help me out. I think that I am better at make friends in cyberspace, than I am at making them in the real world. Maybe I'm a better writer than I am a human being, Maybe I look better in pictures, than I do in real life. Maybe, in cyberspace, I put out a hello, how are you, nice to meet you attitude, and in real life I have conditioned myself to say stay away from me.
They are going to put a tube in my penis, so that I can pee through it into a bag. It is weird to think that someone(s) will be all up in your penis, and you won't even feel it. Isn't having your penis touched mostly a thing of feel? I am fucking with you here.
Also, I am pretty sure that I am going to be staying in the hospital for two or three days. Room service? I like hospital food, just like I used to like cafeteria food in high school, and many of you didn't. I didn't like the food in jail, though, back when I was getting locked up drunk. Even hung over, jail food wasn't palatable to me. We all have our standards?
At age 52, I am going to, finally, have to face the fact that I am a slob. I can't keep up with a living space, pay for it, and keep it clean. I think that if I had a cleaning service in here, once a day, that it would still not be enough. I don't really mind living messy, because it's my mess, but you know that when a love interest shows up, if she ever does, again, that she is not going to like it; most women like to live clean.
Part of the reason that I am a slob, I think, is because my parents were so fastidiously clean. Living in their house was like living in a bottle of bleach. I think that living spaces should be lived in, and not preserved like some sort of a museum, or art gallery. That's it, I'm rebelling against my parents.
Isn't there a point where you have to give up rebelling against your parents. Would not that point might be when you have children of your own?
Scout will be home from school in about ten minutes. I have a plate of food waiting for her, if she is hungry. I fixed my special fried rice dish, but I made it with peppers and salmon, which is different than the corn, peas, and onions that I usually make it with. It's rather tasty, if I might say so myself, and if Scout doesn't want it, I'll be glad to eat it.
There is also a nice sized piece of the first banana bread that I have ever baked from scratch. I got a recipe from a friend on Facebook. It was easy to make, and turned out really well. I want to learn more and more about cooking. Home cooking is where it's at, as far as I am concerned. Eating out is cool, too, but who can afford all that?
Someone told me that if you put bananas in paper bag, that they would ripen fast. Have you ever heard that? I now have some bananas in a bag. I am going to check on them soon. Sometimes, when I want to bake banana bread, the bananas take their own sweet time ripening, and then, other times, when I don't want them to ripen for any reason, they ripen fast. Do you think that bananas have a mind of their own, and that that mind is put here to irritate and outwit you, kind of like computers? I don't think so, but it sure seems like it at times.
My youngest son brought over a chair that he had found, while helping his older brother move. The chair was perfect for my needs: a recliner that I can put a light by, and read for hours. It is my chair, except for one thing: Jaggar has already moved in on it. He has been sitting in it almost the whole time that it has been here. I bet that he thinks that he has squatters' rights. Well, he is wrong. What sucks is that he is going to get his beautiful black hair all over my chair, and then I will be wearing his beautiful black hair when I get up from my chair. Sharing space with animals is a very interesting, and often amusing experience. I don't find it amusing, though, that Jaggar has taken over my chair. He needs to move on.
I'm living on a prayer; I woke this morning somewhat like I used to wake for decades of my life: depressed. The utility company was putting me in a serious hole, and I had just left my job due to medical needs. I am frugal with lights. I am frugal with heat, and still the bastards are able to hit me up for more than I can really pay. What the F?
Instead of swirling deeper into the depression, I put my hands together and prayed. I prayed like hell. I kept saying, "God guide me in though word and action. God guide me in thought word and action." I must have said it thirty times. And then I added in a bunch of, "Thank you, Lord, for letting me see the new day, breath the air of a new day."
And then I got my ass out of bed, fed the animals, made me some coffee, and I have beat the bad vibe. Shoo bad vibe; go away bad vibe!
Why do I need to be an asshole if someone else is an asshole? I don't, but I woke up near depressed, this morning, as close I have come to being depressed in years, and the lady who answered the phone at the pharmacy, when I called to find out about one of my pills, was kind of a bitch. I either wanted to hang up on her, or ream her a new asshole, but, I didn't: I said a little prayer, and the next voice I heard was the friendly one of the Pharmacist. I guess it's easier to be friendly when you are making far more money than minimum wage, but some people are dick heads no matter how much money they are making.
Using a speaker phone, when dealing with corporate Amerika on the phone can save you from much anguish. Instead of being held captive by the phone, you are free to do what you need to do, while these corporations making millions of dollars off of us put us through their push one for spanish, two to speak to another robot routine.
How would David Sedaris handle this? Or Augusten Burroughs? Or Donald Miller? They probably have personal secretaries to handle small business such as I was handling this morning. What I really need, though, is someone to come vacuum and clean my carpet. These damn dogs, and cats, are pigs.
How are you feeling today? Has my bitch made any sense to you? Can you relate brother and sister?
Someone is cutting a neighbor's lawn with a lawnmower that is make that most nauseating sound. No one should be allowed to cut their lawn when I am nursing a headache. I can't take any aspirin, this week, because of my upcoming hip operations, something to do with thinning of the blood. The lawnmower sounds like it is having a real bad day, like it is about to have a heart attack, and soon explode into oblivion.
I'm not Christmas shopping this year, I am Christmas baking. None of my family members are getting pounds of coffee beans, or gift certificates to useful stores; they are getting brownies, and banana bread, and, maybe, cookies.
My hip is getting harder, and harder to get around on. It is somewhat like a baby ready to be born: it wants to come out! I can't walk much, and I can't much walk without my cane. It feels weird to be so feeble. It is true that often we don't realize how good we have it, until our health is affected. The good news is that on Monday, this old hip comes out, and a new metal hip goes in. I wonder what it will be like to be put under. I wonder what I will feel like when I come back to see the light of day? I think that I am going to be laying in a hospital bed for a few days after the operation.
Room service!
The day started out dismal, but it is ending on a happy note. I baked a banana cake, today, and some half sugar brownies. Both were very yum, yum. I'm sipping on a coffee, right now. It doesn't get any better than this.
I have been told that you can start your day over, at any time that you choose to, and I am learning how to do this. A day that starts lousy, doesn't have to end lousy: we control much of our attitude.
For years I let my attitude control me.Now, I am a nearly perfect human being, in every respect.
Hah!
FB Headline: My hip is getting harder, and harder to get around on. It is somewhat like a baby ready to be born: it wants to come out! I can't walk much, and I can't much walk without my cain. It feels weird to be so feeble. It is true that often we don't realize how good we have it, until our health is affected. The good news is that on Monday, this old hip comes out, and a new metal hip goes in.
FB Headline:. This day has come to a close. What have I done, today, what will I do tomorrow? I had smiles for my fellow man and woman, all day, and, sometimes, that is all I have to offer. I put up some Christmas lights: they make me smile, and I hope that they make someone else smile. Smiling is an art form that we should all master. I am, mostly, the master of my own universe. I leave you with a smile as I head to sleep.
hey daddy
we re just a couple of old men, sitting around on Facebook every night
22:28Greg
yes sir i think i feel 42 tonight.
22:29Mikel
i can almost hear your voice
i shall call you mk
23:40Greg
fuck who am i?ust some dip shit with an attitude
yep dorkie willard
I m going to read a book for the last hour of this beautiful day
have a great night greg
23:44Greg
thank you good night sir
P 188 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Monkey wasn't waiting out front, this morning, when I came out with her food. I like it when she is waiting there for me, one because it is nice to see her, and say good morning to her, and two because I know that she is getting her food, and not some other neighborhood cat.
The well fed cat from next door has a habit of eating Monkey's breakfast, when he can, and I am not particularly thrilled about this. I am sure that this cat is getting fed next door, but he just likes our vittles better. It is around 30 degrees out there, this morning, and I am sure that Monkey is holed up somewhere warm.
Sometimes, in the afternoon, she will stand over her bowl, and start meowing. I take it then that she is hungry, and that someone else got her food in the morning. I love cats, but I can't feed every cat on the planet.
It is two days until my old hip is replaced with a new metal one. Once this procedure is complete, I will make the metal detectors at airports go off. "No, I m not a terrorist," I will tell the security guard, as I pull out a card from my Doctor's office stating that I have a metal hip.
Someone asked me if Lee Majors, the bionic man, was going to "Be with me," during the operation. I said, "Yes," and that once the surgery was over that I would be able to leap tall buildings with a single bound.
Rue Paul has just climbed onto the rock, where Prynce had already been laying, soaking up the heat from the lamp. It is cold out, this morning, and the turtles can feel it, and they seek heat, both from the lamp and from each other.
This morning, Prynce allowed Rue to climb up on his back, which he does not always do. I hope that in, keeping my heat turned down to 70 degrees, this winter, as opposed to the 80 degrees that I kept it at, last year, that I do not kill my turtles. The bill is unaffordable, either way. I wish that I was a millionaire so that I could make all the turtles' dreams come true.
Jaggar has completely taken over my new chair. He sits in it for most of the day, and night. He used to often hide under the bed, now he sits in the open in this chair instead.
Someone laughed the other night, in cyberspace, when I was telling my Facebook world that I was looking at my turtles.
"Don't you know," she said, "that The President is on the t.v. talking about sending more troops to war."
I had turned my cable off, trying to lower bills, because I would be out of work due to my hip surgery, so I didn't know that The President was giving a speech about war; all I knew was that my turtles were fascinating to watch. There is a lesson in here, somewhere, if we look.
I don't care about being on The New York Times best selling list; I care about having food for my dogs, cats, and turtles. I care about not going stark raving mad trying to satisfy the insatiable desires of the utility company. I like free time, I like to be free to write, and think, and mingle with my kids, and Elliot, my new grandkid, when they will all let me.
Have I told you about my grandson.? He is small. He smiles, and he is wary. He is not sure what to make of this large, loud man with the beard, who his momma, or daddy, have handed him to. Sometimes he laughs and has fun in the man's hands. Sometime, he pitches a fit, often immediately, to get back in the hands of mommy or daddy.
He is soft, and as he grows, he will know that his granddaddy loves him, and that his granddaddy is fun to be around. Granddaddy is glad that he doesn't have to change Elliot's diapers. Grandchildren are much less work than children, at least in my case, with, maybe, more of the benefits. I feel privileged that I lived long enough to be a grandfather.
Elliot, I love you.
Have you ever noticed that some Christmas music has the same feel to it, as music that you would expect to hear at a mental institution: kind of soft, kind of loving. Would that make Santa a patient, or part of the staff?
"We'll love you until you can love yourself." Have you ever had that said to you? I had it said to me a lot, when I first got sober, and, though I didn't fully understand what it meant, I liked the ring of it. I didn't feel loved as a kid, and I still didn't feel loved. Love is important. Let love ring.
FB Headline: Someone stole Monkey's food, this morning, and I just had to feed her, again; she was hovering over her food bowl, and pitching a fit. I mean what good is a food bowl, if there is no food in it?
Monkey knows that I will feed her, and, I guess, she now knows that I will feed her, again, if someone rips her food off. I guess that I have been feeding Monkey well, because people are saying that she has gotten fat. I may not be the only one feeding her. That cat may be a food con-artist.. From now on, if Monkey is not there, I am not putting her food bowl down for her. She will have to be there to get fed.
*******
I so appreciate your posts-- humorous and uplifting. Glad to know you, and, of course, I will be praying for you.--Merritt Serio
Smiles; happiness is a great gift!!! YOU have the talent/gift to make em laugh!! Smiles help us heal(maybe live longer) that is a great "offering"
--Sandy Roxanne Moore
Morisson has soft paws; Bundy doesn't. Dogs are like people, each one has a different feel. Sometimes, I feel more comfortable around my dogs than I do people. Everybody wants to be a Rock Star, but not everyone can have a ruthless manager, and an evil record label. Some of us have to be unemployed poets. It's cold out today; I'm not joking.
I just canceled a deal. I don't think he understood the material, and I didn't understand him. I'm in no hurry on the project. If it never gets done, it won't ruffle my feathers. My hand should fit your glove; in this case it didn't.
My dogs are weird about coming back into the house, when we have been outside for a visit. If it is a nice day, it is hard to get them to come back in; like today: there were a billion birds sifting through the trees. Is this weird for December? Is nature out of kilter. Is Al Gore out to make a buck by leading us to Global Sanity. Is anybody pure?
Morisson loves olives, while Bundy spits them out, and they both hate onions, and won't eat spinach or lettuce unless there is some dressing on them.
I baked a farewell banana bread tonight, It is the forth banana bread, from scratch, that I have ever baked in my life. I'm going to give half of it to Kevin, tomorrow, as he takes me to the Doctor's office for my pre-op visit, and then to the hospital to have my hip replacement surgery.
So far, I am not nervous. People have been asking me this. People in cyberspace have been so nice. They seem to be the only ones who care about me, besides Kevin, and he is getting half of this banana bread that I just cooked because I can't give him a million dollars, like I would like to: he is worth that much to me.
Twenty years ago he showed up, and became my sons' other father. For twentry years, he has been there for all of us. Sometimes you get lucky with the people that God puts in your life, and sometimes you get screwed. The kids and I got lucky with Kevin.
I just packed my suitcase. I think that I am going to have to stay in the hospital for a few days, and then I think I may have to stay at the kid's mom's house with her and her wonderful live in sin boyfriend, Andy. I packed for six days; I think that should cover it.
I also packed bags for Morisson and Bundy. Bundy will stay with Kevin, and Morisson will stay with Gigi and Andy, and the four dogs that they already have: Javi, Mojo, Shawtie, and Shanghai. I felt sadder about packing the dogs bags than I did my own. I wonder if Jaggar will bite me when I return home, like he did the last time that I went away? I was gone five days that time.
I can't wait to have this surgery. I am told that I will be able to return to my Yoga, and return to walking my dogs, and return to a life of normal mobility, where every anaesthetist step is not a painful one to take. I used to complain about doctors, moan and groan that they were only after our money. I'm thankful for the Doctor who is removing my hip. As I age I bitch less, and less. I realize more and more what a beautiful gift life is and how lucky I am to be living it. I don't point the finger so much anymore. I worry about me, and not you.
The part of tomorrow's hip replacement journey that I am most curious about is how it will feel when I am brought back around by the anaesthetihiologist after have been out for two hours. It is weird that they can knock you out like that and then bring you back.
I'm sure that I will be happy to be back.
Facebook Heading at Noon Today by Mikel K Poet: This is so embarrassing, after all the wonderful thoughts you all have sent out to me, but the surgery will not take place until Jan. 11, due to a mix up in scheduling. I am very bummed out about this, but have decided to start my day over, and look for the positive in it. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!
Facebook Headline at 5pm today by K: I just dumped the dogs a go a visiting food back in the big bag of stay at home dog food; their visit was cut short, like mine, due to a scheduling mishap regarding my hip replacement surgery, today. I just unpacked my suitcase, put my toothpaste back on the shelve, my clothes back on hangers, and in drawers. They won't be cutting this hip that is giving me so much pain out of my body for another month(Jan. 11) Things happen for a reason; tis the season for love, and I will try not to bitch.
Excerpt from, "Did You Write The Book Of Love? by Mikel K (Forthcoming)
So, I get to the Doctor's office, today, ready for my hip replacement surgery at one p.m., and the scheduling lady tells me that I never called back to confirm, so here I am with a packed suitcase, and a good I'm going to have my hip operated on attitude and no operation is going to happen.
The lady was kind of surly, at first, so I yelled at her. I'm sure that that is not an appropriate thing to do in a doctor's office. There were tears forming in my eyes. I have left my job. I am in great pain, and now I have another month and four days to wait until I get to give this old hip that I've got away, and get another one, a metal one.
I apologized to the lady when she came around from her desk to hand me the pink slip with my new surgery appointment time. She seemed to accept my apology; we hugged. I really don't want to point the finger at her, and I really don't want to accept any blame. What's done is done.
I told Kevin, on the way home, that I was going to try very hard to start my day over, and have a good attitude about this whole thing. I'm sure that no one was out to get me, or out to ruin my day: or month.
Sometimes things just happen. Things don't always go your way all the time.(Or mine!)
--Mikel K
PS My black cat Jaggar seems to be happy that I am home; he was just rubbing up against my ankle in the hallway, as I put clothes in the washer. When I left the house for five days, recently, Jaggar bit me on the ankle when I got home.
My dogs have begun to scratch themselves, and it was my thought that they couldn't have fleas in the cold. I have no money for flea control medicine, so they will have to keep scratching, and I will have to keep being irritated by their itching. There is no universal flea control care for poor dogs.
I'm tired, but I think that my last cup of coffee is going to give me at least another hour in this day. "No one's awake. No one's loving me," are the lines that come to mind, but I don't start that poem because it seems sappy; self-indulgent.
We are where we are for a reason. If we are alone, it must be meant to be. Most marriages, most relationships end in failure: all mine have. That's not quite true. I am still "involved" with most every woman who I have ever been involved with, from the one who gave me three children, to several one to two or three night stands.
This pain that I feel is because I am alone tonight, and I don't want to be alone tonight: I don't know what is the matter with me, I usually like being alone.
My ass is fat, and it is going to get fatter in this in limbo month of waiting that I have been cast into. I can't exercise, I can't hardly walk, so I sit at this desk all day and write, and socially network. The social networking helps the writing, It keeps me fresh. It gives me ideas. The people who I network with make me smile. They give me advice. One gave me a recipe for banana bread, and that has kicked in my new hobby: baking.
My next baking project will be a carrot cake. I found a nice recipe for one on the internet. It's weird that I am interested in baking. It's even weirder that I am writing about it, and sharing the info. to my social network. I used to be a badass. I was voted the "best" spoken word performer by the local rag two years in a row. I was a music writer who people read. I had a bad ass band; and now I bake banana bread, and carrot cakes.
What happened?
Morisson knocked over my heater, last night, the one that I place on a stool by my bed, so that I can keep the central heat turned on low, to try to keep the bill down, which is not really working. I think that the utility company is out to get me, that it is out to get us all!
There was a storm outside, and Morisson got up on his hind legs, put his paws on the bed, and kept trying to get his head underneath my no longer sleeping hand. Finally, he jumped up on the bed, where his goal was the same thing as it was when he had been on the floor: to get his head under my hand. He wanted the security that my hand provides him.
I hope that he didn't break my heater. It didn't work the first time that I tried it, last night, but then it appeared to work later. Poor Morisson, he is such a freak when it comes to storms, especially to thunder, and lightening. Bundy isn't bothered by it at all. It is funny how each dog has their particular pet peeves.
I'm tired, but I think that my last cup of coffee is going to give me at least another hour in this day.
"No one's awake. No one's loving me," are the lines that come to mind, for a poem, but I don't start that poem because it seems sappy, self-indulgent.
We are where we are for a reason. If we are alone, it must be meant to be. Most marriages, most relationships end in failure: all mine have. That's not quite true. I am still "involved" with most every woman who I have ever been involved with, from the one who gave me three children, to several one to two or three night stands. This pain that I feel is because I am alone tonight, and I don't want to be alone tonight. I don't know what is the matter with me; I usually like being alone.
I just woke; again. Usually I wake up early, like around five a.m. and then put in two or three hours on the laptop: typing, writing, then I go back to bed for a couple of hours. I am groggy, this afternoon, after my nap, as I often a.m. I have my trusty cup of coffee at my elbow. It should help the grogginess; it often does.
"Oh God, yes," I say, when my mouth touches that cup of coffee for the first time. I have made yet another perfect cup; just right in taste, just right in temperature. I am in for five minutes of pleasure.
I'm going to the unemployment office, today. I don't know what to expect. I had to leave my job because I'm getting that new hip. My supervisor checked, "Left for personal reasons," on my separation notice, and that I was, "rehirable," which is not what my general manager said.
She said that it was policy not to take an employee back after a four to six weeks rehab period, which is what the doctor told me that I would need, after the surgery.; but there was a girl in the bookstore, just the other day, who had left for several months, and was working again, so I don't know if my main boss was quoting official corporate policy, or was just making it clear to me that she didn't want me back. Such ambiguity is not comforting. Not having a job to come back to after getting a new hip, and rehabbing it is not comforting. Life in the work force is often not comforting. Why do they have to jack you around so?
I realized, today, that as my hip gets worse and worse that less and less gets done around this apartment. I don't, mostly, feel like cooking. The laundry is piled up. The dishes in the sink are piled up. I am using a cane to get around the apartment, now. I really can't wait to have this hip replacement surgery. Kevin, and I, are going to what they call a Pre-Op Appointment, tomorrow morning. I called the Doctor's Office to verify that our appointment was still at 8 a.m. and the lady came back on the phone and said, "Your appointment is at 10;30." She didn't seem real happy about living.
I took a nap, and a lady woke me, mostly wanting my insurance info. When she was done getting the info. out of me that she wanted, I asked her what time my appointment was. She put me on hold, and when she came back, she said, "11:00 a.m."
I told her that someone else had said, "10:30," and she said, "Well, come in at 10:30 then."
Kevin called, a little later, to verify the time, and the woman who he spoke to said, "10:15 a.m."
What the fuck. I wonder how these folks would be treating someone getting a new heart?
At the instruction of my Doctor, the nurse took my blood, the other day, and gave me a red arm bracelet, which, if I don't bring it on the day of the operation, will mean that I have to have the blood drawn all over, again, on the day of the operation, and they really frown upon that, so I better not forget it.
I have it taped to the ceramic turtle on my desk that holds all my day to day stuff, like my wallet, my keys, my pens, and the apparatuses that I use to prick blood from my finger and measure my sugar count.
The day draws closer where they will cut the old hip out of me. I met with an anesthesiologist, the other day; either he, or another anesthesiologist will put me under, a legal black out of sorts, where I will reek no terror upon myself, or anyone else, and will not wind up in a drunk tank covered in blood and puke.
I am ready for this surgery. I have never had surgery before in my life, but I have been told over and over by people who either have had the surgery, or have known people who have had the surgery that I will practically be able to walk on water once I have undergone the surgery, and have gone through the rehab process.
Another day ends as I grab Monkey's silver bowl, and bring it in the house, as the dog's come running in with me. "Go home, go home," I have said to them. I feed the turtles' and turn their light out. It is good to have a home; it is certainly good to have a home.
Things get complicated, when I can't just write. Selling books, and checking for money in Pay Pal accounts are not what I am gifted at, but, in order to one day pay the rent with my words, I guess that this is the path that I have to embark on. I am not complaining. Someone was good to me, today. They made sure that I will have High Speed DSL for the next month, and with High Speed Internet, I would certainly whither away, and no longer be in your existence.
On Monday, they cut my old, ailing left hip out.
*******
As I am standing in the kitchen, cane under my arm, this morning, struggling to cover a couple of just toasted pieces of wheat toast with peanut butter and marmalade, I think of how I will spend four days in a hospital room, next week, after my hip replacement surgery, and that someone will be cooking my food, and bringing it to me for those four days.
I am reminded of that scene in the move, "Clockwork Orange," where the lead character, Alex, finds himself in the enviable position of laying in a bed with people bringing him whatever he wants, because they want him to join a cause that they have created, for his rehabilitation. The look on his face, and the way that he smacks his lips, and looks totally pleased that HE is in charge have always cracked me up.
Anyway, I won't be in charge, and I won't be able to get whatever I want, but I won't be struggling to make a peanut butter sandwich, in my kitchen, with a can under my arm, either.
This time, tomorrow, I will be signing in to have my hip replacement surgery. I am not nervous, like some people have been asking me, I am ready to go; ready to go into this next phase of my hip story, which I see as having four parts.
The first part has been this pre-surgery part, where I have learned to live with pain, immobility, and a cane. The second part is the surgery, and all that goes with that including the anesthesiology, and the four day hospital stay related to the surgery. The third is the rehab period, where I will have folks working with me to teach me how to walk with a metal hip inside my body, and the fourth is the rest of my life, where I and my new hip are one, taking Yoga together, walking the dogs together, sounding the alarm at airport security check points together, living a full, active pain free life, together.
No, I am not nervous about the surgery that I am going to have tomorrow; I embrace it and look forward to it as part of this path that I am on.
My coffee, this morning was very satisfying. As I drank it, I realized that I would be unable to drink one tomorrow morning, as I can have no food, or liquids after midnight tonight, because my hip replacement surgery is at ten a.m. tomorrow morning. I do not know what to expect of the surgery. I have never undergone surgery before, unless having your tonsils out as a kid qualifies.
To my way of thinking, surgeons and anesthesiologist, and the rest of the team, are God-like in what they do. The anesthesiologist can take life, and give life back, in a sense, by putting you under, and then bringing you back to consciousness, and the doctor can give you a new body part, which makes your quality of life better, and all the folks that assist the doctor and the anesthesiologist, help make that miracle happen.
I have long whined, in person, and in poems, that all doctors care about are Porsches and swimming pools. I now see what a great, great service they can provide to humanity. Perhaps they deserve those Porsches and swimming pools.
I am not here to debate all that, today, I m just thankful for where I am at and where I am going to be, tomorrow, during surgery. I have lived with great pain for the last several months, and my mobility has gotten more and more impaired. The people who are going to help change that deserver props.
The Landlady came to the door, and said that the water was cut off to The House, because some pipes had burst. I'm not showering much because of this painful hip, so I wasn't too worried about it, and then I went in to fix a cup of coffee: GAG!! I dashed off a quick email to G2, and asked her if she could grab me a gallon of water, when she stopped by The Pharmacy to pick up my pills for me. She brought two gallons of water, with the pills, and...there was a copy of one of The Leading Music Rags in the bag, and two crossword magazines. This woman gave me three kids, but couldn't live with me because alcohol and mental illness had my ass, never stopped loving me, even through
all the hard times, and I told her tonight that, "as mad as I ever was at her, I always loved
her."
It has been a week since my surgery. It has been a long, and strange week, full of pain, and disorientation. I have met many people on this path, that I am on called rehabilitation; most of them have had a smile on their faces while I have been grimacing out at them in pain. They seem to understand what I am going through, they seem to have been down this road before. I hope that I don't have to go down this road ever again.
I like the sound of grandchildren or a grandchild playing more than I do the moronic sounds emitted into my existence by a tv that someone else controls. When I control a tv, it doesn't much get turned on.
No wheelchair push ups on the weekends: There is no physical therapy up here on the second floor of the rehab unit, on the weekends, so we mostly sleep, and eat
There are no cameras on The Rehab Unit(except for mine;) no one is worried about being a huge superstar, (except for me,) and it is, usually, more important, to me, that I make it back to my room on time to get my dinner tray, than it is to stop and have a photo op!!
In December, this 91 year old lady, was doing really well rehabbing her new hip, according to her niece, and then, one day, while she was using the bathroom, the little old lady had a stroke, which left her paralyzed on one side of her body.
Since then, the little old lady, has refused to go to Physical Therapy, or to leave her room. A couple of days ago, she quit eating. Her niece was just in here, where I am sitting on the internet, getting ice with tears in her eyes.
"She didn't have any children," said the women as she headed off to, once again, care take her now dieing aunt. "We will have to find another place for her to stay," she said, as she walked away.
My roommate Dave, a 68 year old man, prays over his food, without fail, every time they feed him, no matter how bad, or good, that he is feeling. I am impressed by this; I usually gobble down my food without thanking anybody.
About a week ago, Dave asked me to cut up his food for him; he has partial paralysis in his arms. Every day since then I have been snooping over to his side of the room to see what he got to eat, and if I might be able to help him out by cutting it up for him.
This morning, Dave had pancakes, sausage, and pears...I chopped them up for him, and then went back to my side of the room. A few minutes later, the nurse came into our room. She looked at Dave, and she looked at me, and she said, "You cut up his food," like I was in trouble. (They try to make us do as much for ourselves as we can up here.)
"Yes, Mam," I said. "Do you want another tray?" she asked me.
"Why, yes," I replied. (I'm almost always in the mood for more food!)
The Nurse was rewarding me for helping Dave out. There is a lesson here, and I have learned it. I expected nothing for helping Dave. I like the guy, and just wanted to make his life easier, because I could.
What goes around comes around.
-----------------------------------------
I read a sad story today about the lingering repercussions of losing one's job. So many people are hurting out there. What can we do? Pray...? I believe in prayer, but sometimes the problems in the world seem that they are insurmountable by mere prayer; do you know what I am saying?
------------------------------------------
I touched my hip for the first time today since the operation, nearly a month ago. I think that I have been scared to put my hand on my hip until now. I can feel where the sutures were. I can feel the swollenness of my hip. It is weird to think that a metal hip is now in there.
This is the end
| maggie may by rod stewart |
What is the name of the Dutch speaking northern region of Belgium containing approximately half of the country's population? | Did You Write The Book Of Love?
Did You Write The Book Of Love?
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
AS OF DEC. 20, 2009
The Book Of Love
By Mikel K
"It's always hard to break in, but talent will find a home."--The Ethan Ellenberg Literary Agency
In this book, the author comes across as a cross between David Sedaris,
Donald Miller, and Augusten Burroughs…that's what the author thinks, anyway.
“We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.”
—Fredrick Koeing
I lay down to nap, just now, but couldn't sleep, so I set my cell phone for a fifteen minute meditation period. I had mixed luck with that, because my cat, Kobain, parked his body on my chest, and his head in my hand, demanding to be scratched, and rubbed. Then I did something new: I set the alarm for a seven minute pray. I prayed for everyone who I could think of, and about all the things that I could think of that might need praying for: this went better than the meditation. Kobain, I guess, doesn't mind me praying because he got off my chest and lay down next to me while I prayed.
There are certain songs that I can listen to over, and over, and not get tired of them. "Green Grass and High Tides," by The Outlaws is one of those songs, and so is, "American Girl," by Tom Petty. The lyrics in both songs make a great deal of sense to me, and the music drives me into a very enjoyable manic frenzy. A great song can make it seem as if life is treating you well, even if it isn't. A great song, for me, is better than taking a hit of anything, or a drink.
Nobody has heard of me, but you will soon come to love me, at least that is my hope: my name is Mikel K, and I hope that you enjoy my stories.
"Though seeing, they do not see though hearing, they do not hear or understand."
--Matthew 13:30
The fact that you don't have cable means you don't really care.
And frankly, I can't blame you.
--Mary Franklin
This is the beginning, but I will tell you, right now, that this book ends with, "The End…" How very clever.
Senorita: I read your poetry in notes, last night; printed it, and I think I enjoy it so much I am going to add it into my journal. You've got a groupie! You love words, don't you?
Mikel K: I love where I have landed. I come from drunk tanks, and mental institutions, bar room brawls, and the back seat of police cars.
Senorita: And you are where you should be.
Mikel K: Yup, yup.
"Lately it occurs to me what a long strange trip it's been."
--The Grateful Dead
This book is mostly the truth, as I remember it. There are a few places where I stretch the truth, or out right lie, to cover someone's buttocks, often mine, or because I simply can't remember what really happened.
Some of the characters
Morisson:
The runaway dog who ran to me, and, finally, stayed: part lab, part we have never been able to figure out what; all love.
I have had people tell me that their dog is, "the best dog in the world," but, trust me, Morisson would give any dog on the planet a run for their money, and then run off with their money, and bring it to me. He is that good of a dog.
Morisson is ALWAYS there with a hug for me or you. The only flaw that Morisson has, if it is a flaw, is that he lives in complete fear of storms: thunder and lightening make him shake, and beg for entrance into my bed, where he is not allowed.
To see if I violate my own policy for him, in a storm, read on.
Jaggar:
Jaggar is my black cat. Someone found Jaggar in a fast food restaurant parking lot, when he was a very small kitten, with his chest caved in. His mother was lying near him, dead: she had been run over by the same car that caved in Jaggar's chest. I guess that getting that burger, and French fries, had been very important to someone.
Jaggar was rushed to the vet, where I was taking my dogs, and cats, at the time. Different members of the staff, who were nursing Jaggar back to health, would bring him out, and show him to me. Sometimes, he would be licking a syringe, as if it were his mothers breast.
I started to fall in love with Jaggar, and anticipated visiting with him, when I would be going in with one of my dogs or cats. I didn't realize it, at the time, but I think that the vet staff was grooming me to be Jaggar's daddy, because when he became well enough to leave the vet's office, it was in my hands.
Jaggar was the cutest little kitty, but he was always an aloof kitten. He didn't play like normal kittens did, and he grew up to be an aloof cat who doesn't play like other cats play. Jaggar has his own set of rules and regulations for how you can interact with him. He will rub up against your leg to show you love, but don't even try petting him because he won't let you. I think that the way that he was raised made him a little anti-social, a little bit detached. I don't care about all of that; I love him anyway.
Bundy:
Was a hand me down, who was handed down, again, to me. He was the worse behaved dog that I had ever seen. He jumped on furniture, he barked all the time, he tried to make your love and affection exclusively his, pushing Morisson out of the way to get to your hand. He acted like he thought that he was the Alpha dog, and that his existence was the only one that mattered. He stole food from Morisson. Walking him was murder on the arm because he would pull you like you were being lead by a cement mixing truck.
I thought about finding "a good home" for Bundy a bunch of times, but I never actually tried to. Instead I kept working with him, working on him, teaching him how to walk on a leash, telling him to stay off furniture, barking at him so he wouldn't bark all the time, and you know what: Bundy turned out to be a great dog, not perfect, but great. He is half Rotweiller, half lab and the rottie half makes him a good guard dog. I am not sure, but I would bet that Bundy would attack someone who broke into this place while I am gone, and I think that that is a good thing.
Prynce and RuPaul:
My turtles Prynce the man, and Rue Paul the girl (of course). They don't say much, but they speak to me in volumes. I have watched them for endless hours, as they kiss, bite, lay on each other, fight for food, get along side by side eating food, swimming, and sunning themselves on their rock underneath their heat lamp. I cracked the glass to their tank today as I was cleaning it; ouch!
Kobain:
Kobain is this big, and beautiful, long haired, grey cat that was dropped off by somebody on my veterinarian's porch. People do that fairly often with animals: just drop them off at the vet's house, when he isn't looking, because they don't want them anymore, or can't take care of them.
My precious cat, Madonna, had been run over, and killed, in the parking lot in front of my apartment. She had gotten angry that my son had brought home another cat, and was staying out more and more. I was really close to Madonna, and it hurt me that she was killed, so I stayed away from cats until I was emotionally ready to enter into a relationship with another one.
There were two cats in cages at my vet's office that they were trying to find homes for: one was this killer calico with orange and white spots, who was my choice, and the other was Kobain, who my daughter chose. I had told my daughter that she could pick the cat that we would bring home, and boy did she pick correctly.
At first, Kobain was very anti-social, staying to himself like you might imagine that a cat who had been dumped onto somebody's porch in the middle of the night might do. I don't remember when he started to open up to me, but I do know that now, today, the minute that I lay down in the bed, Kobain crawls onto my chest, and digs his head into my hand, demanding to be scratched, and rubbed.
Scout: my daughter.
Kevin: my daughter's biological father.
I hate the words, "step, or half;" they have such evil connotations, and, besides, I am not stepping anywhere, and I certainly am not a half-ass father figure. I love Scout,
and I treat her just like the one bio boy that I have.
Graem: Bio Boy
William: "Mine," since I bought him a six pack of sprite when he was five; he is now 28. My joke with William is that I am still buying him sprite. It's not true, though. William is married to a wonderful lady and has a boy of his own now.
G2: The Boss. Even though we never married, we have had a 22 year love affair, which has included many, many moments of discord. Overall, we were great co-parents, even though we didn't do it the way that The Pope tells people to; it's not all, "Leave it to Beaver," baby.
Mikel,
What a lovely gift you give to one from your heart, with words that find meaning in all that is mundane; or, is it all that is surreal, and tainted, with moments of glory?
You are a poet of the highest standard.
It flows from you like lava from the ancient mountain that waits its turn to rise, and rejuvenate. It is frightening, exhilarating, and reminds us of our ultimate pettiness, lowliness and the creatures that we are.
Though I do not know this man for whom you dedicate your time and talent, however, I am touched by your generosity of spirit and the words that wrap your gifts with golden ribbon.
--Cathy J.
Dear Face Book:
I've learned that I don't have to be in the clean plate club, that I can scrape the food that I don't want onto the floor, and the dogs will be happy to have it. Javi, who has been a part of our family for 12 plus years now, may be at the end of his journey. This will be the first dog that I've been a part of who I will see die. I'm not any good at death.
--Mikel K Poet
I am reading your poem--Snezana, from Serbia
Did You Write The Book Of Love
by Mikel K
1. The day the music died
I like pie, but I especially like American Pie.
I wrote the book of love, but no one bought it, so, now, I am going to write quite a different book. I will tell you all about this book, but first there are more important things to cover, like the fact that I am still single at age 52.
I'm not very good looking, and I have never been very good looking. I don't know why I am telling you this. I guess that it is, somehow important to the story. I must not be ugly to all people, though, I do have children, and, I guess, if that woman, who I had the kids with, had thought that I was ugly, she wouldn't have had kids with me, although we both were drinking a lot at the time she got pregnant.
If it wasn't for booze, I might not be a father. It's sad to think that this woman maybe had to get drunk to have sex with me, but that is just how it goes, sometimes. You have got to take things as they come, and find gratitude where you can, is what I have come to learn. You might not always get what you want, but you will usually get what you need. Who said that before I did?
In Jr. High School, I got a couple of votes for most winning smile in the school year book. I didn't win. I may have had the best smile, but I wasn't the most popular kid. In Jr. High School you have to be popular to win any of those things in the yearbook. I've always had a good smile, though I haven't always had a lot to smile about.
"A long, long time ago...
I can still remember
How that music used to make me smile."
Up north, where we lived at the time, on Sunday nights, my parents thought that I was asleep, getting rested up for school in the morning, but, really, I was hiding under the covers, and I had the dial turned up on this ten dollar radio, that I had bought from a department store, to "Casey Kasem's American Top 40."
I heard some incredible songs on that show; some of my favorites went all the way to number one, which, being the competitive kind of kid that I was, at that time, made me happy. I'm a big music freak, till this day, and Casey was my gateway drug to getting high just listening to bands play.
Maggie May," by Rod Stewart. "Joy To The World," by Three Dog Night, were two of the great number ones, that Kasey played for me, but there was one number one that blew them all away.
"Here we go with the Top 40 hits of the nation this week on American Top 40, the best-selling and most-played songs from the Atlantic to the Pacific from Canada to Mexico. This is Casey Kasem in Hollywood, and in the next three hours, we'll count down the 40 most popular hits in the United States this week, hot off the record charts of Billboard magazine for the week ending July 11, 1970. In this hour at #32 in the countdown, a song that's been a hit 4 different times in 19 years! And we're just one tune away from the singer with the $10,000 gold hubcaps on his car! Now, on with the countdown!"
— Casey Kasem at the beginning of the inaugural AT40 broadcast
Source: Wikipedia
"And I knew if I had my chance
That I could make those people dance
And, maybe, they'd be happy for a while."
It must be nice to write a song like that, to say that you are going to make people dance, and to then go out and do it. They danced in 1971 to "American Pie," by Don McLean, and they are still dancing to it, now. What is the significance of the lyrics, McLean, was asked(many times actually.)
"The significance is that I'll never have to have a job, again," said McLean, with a big smile on his face.
That is a hell of a song, don't you think?!!"
"But February made me shiver
With every paper I'd deliver.
Bad news on the doorstep;
I couldn't take one more step."
I delivered newspapers, when I was a kid, also, but I never learned to play guitar. My parents put me in piano lessons, with a kid who could play, who lived down the street from where we lived at the time, but I talked my way out of the lessons, preferring, instead, to play Cowboys and Indians in the front yard.
I really wish that my parents had not let me talk them out of piano lessons. Every time that I hear the introduction to the song, "Imagine," by John Lennon, I cringe, nearly crying, wishing that I could play piano.
What good did playing Cowboys and Indians do for me?
"I can't remember if I cried
When I read about his widowed bride,
But something touched me deep inside
The day the music died."
The first two lines have to be about the assassination of President John F. Kennedy; don't they? Friday, November 22, 1963. I was six years old. I can barely remember that day. It lives forever in this song, though.
"The day the music died?"
Buddy Holly went down to his death in a small plane, and he didn't go down alone. With him went Ritchie Valens, J.P. "Big Bopper" Richardson and the pilot of the plane, Roger Peterson. That is what Mr. McLean was supposedly writing about, in this part of the song. Mr. McClean is a wise man, though. He calls the song, "poetry" and refuses to speak for it, saying that it should, and does, speak for itself. You can burn an audience out by thinking for them.
That's enough of that, really. I was going to present the whole, "American Pie," song to you, in the manner that I just presented what I presented, but I don't see the purpose to it, really. Don McLean wrote a great song. He wrote a song so great that it took care of him for the rest of his life. The trouble about writing such a great song, I would think, is that it is impossible to ever again write such a great song. That song represents the pinnacle in his career. It is, basically, the only song of his that we are familiar with. And oh how familiar with it we are: most of us can sing it line for line; most of us that is that came of age in 1971.
“I have never said a bad thing about the song, I was poor when I wrote it, and it made me a millionaire overnight. Believe me, I’m not upset about this song.” –Don McLean, 2000
2.
My favorite food is probably sushi; then, I like eggs best. I'm really fond of onions, and chocolate, but not together, of course. I'm big on coffee with Stevia and half n half, and hot tea with milk. I don't know why I'm telling you this. Maybe, one day, you will take me out to dinner, or lunch, and you will know what I like.
3.
She said that you kiss funny
Dear God:
I have destroyed another day. It was an immaculate day. I enjoyed every breath that I inhaled in this day. What a gift to be alive, and breathing. I feel more alive than when I was young. I think that I have learned a thing or two in this existence. I walk down bright paths, these days, not cloudy ones.
I was in ninth grade when that song that I just said that I was going to quit talking about came out. I was a skinny kid; my teachers thought that I was smart, and the basketball coach thought I was pure. He was wrong, he soon found out. I was pure as long as I was getting what I wanted, as long as things were going my way, as long as they were giving me the ball, and letting me shoot, shoot, shoot.
I was a gunner. I thought that I was Pete Maravich, but I wasn't. I wound up being the leading scorer on a Jr. High School Basketball Team that won one game all season. That really sucked. The aim of scoring points, I later learned, is so that your team wins. My goal was for me to win, i.e. score more points than anyone else. What would have been nice would have been for us to have won our games, with me leading in the scoring dept. I learned, later, that that is how it is supposed to be done. I was a very me, me, me person in those days.
4.
Dear God:
I am alive to see another new day; what a blessing. All things are possible while I have the gift of life. I may scale a skyscraper. I may write a poem, or two, recognized as good as one by Walt Whitman, Robert Frost, or Charles Bukowski. Wouldn't that not be nice? I will be kind to a stray cat. I will smile at the homeless the same as I do the regular folk, for are we not all equal, do we not all deserve a smile?
The next year, in high school, the year after American Pie, came into our consciousness, I made the tennis team.
Wake up Maggie
I think I got something to say to you;
it's late September and I really should be back at school.
I know I keep you amused
but I feel I'm being used
"Maggie May," by Rod Stewart was another song that electrified me; though I was careful to not let my parents catch me listening to music on Sunday nights beneath my covers, as I have told you, but I am sure that I had to turn the volume knob up at least a little bit when this song came on as number one on Casey's Countdown.
Who doesn't relate to being used? I was in Jr. High School then, and I felt used by my parents, and by most all of the other kids who surrounded me in school. Nobody understood me, and it seemed like nobody could stand me. My parents were constantly berating me about grades, and behavior. The other kids either ignored me, or made fun of me for how I dressed, or how I played basketball. The song, "Maggie Mae," helped me rebel a little bit. It was kind of an angry song, and I was kind of an angry kid.
When I got to high school, like I told you, I made the tennis team. I was really happy about this, and proud of it, also. I did so well on the team, that by eleventh grade, the coach was saying that I was going to be tapped as one of the Captains of the team in my senior year, and from the way I was playing the game, it looked as if I would either be the number one or the number two player.
And then…my first high school dance.
I had started drinking beer, a bit, with some kids who I loosely hung around with, on the weekends, and me and this group were running late for our first high school dance, and this one kid told me that I should buy blackberry brandy, instead of beer, that it got you drunk faster, tasted sweet, and went down easy. So I begged some older guy who was going into the liquor store to buy me a pint of it, and, when we got to the woods leading to the school, I chugged it.
The next thing I knew I was in the bathroom at the high school, puking my life out into the toilet. Someone pushed at the door, and I'm sure that I pushed it back. The story came out, later, that I hit the principal. I can't imagine that; I think that this is an exaggeration by a fellow, or two, who was and were not operating in my best interest.
oh
I couldn't have tried anymore.
You lured me away from home
just to save you from being alone.
You stole my heart and that's what really hurts.
The morning sun
when it's in your face
really shows your age
The whole blackberry brandy incident went down because I was a shy kid. I wanted to fortify myself with some liquid courage for the dance, but I went over the line; way over the line. I got thrown off the tennis team. I would not be a Co-Captain, I would not be a number one or number two player. All that I had worked so hard for for years had gone up in smoke in the time that it took me to chug that lousy bottle of booze. I went from an unknown in The Principal's Office to public enemy number one. I sat in that office for weeks.
but that don't worry me none
in my eyes you're everything.
I laughed at all of your jokes
my love you didn't need to coax
oh
I couldn't have tried anymore.
You lured me away from home
just to save you from being alone.
You stole my soul
that's a pain I can do without.
All I needed was a friend to lend a guiding hand
I was really wanting to get to know girls, at this point in my studies, but I didn't know how to. My tongue tied itself whenever I got around a woman who I was interested in. I could relate, somehow, to what Rod Stewart was singing about in Maggie Mae. I was frustrated with a woman, too, only I didn't know who she was. I was frustrated because she had not appeared, and entered into my life.
but you turned into a lover
and
All you did was wreck my bed
and in the morning kick me in the head
There was no Maggie Mae in my life, wrecking my bed, or kicking me in the head. I might have welcomed this. I probably would have been happy with just about any female interaction. Maybe I would have met a girl at the school dance, but instead I puked in the bathroom, and got thrown off the tennis team. Life throws you, or, at least, life has thrown me some strange curve balls from time to time. Most of those times have been when I have been drinking. (Fastballs to the forehead, is more like it, now that I think about it.)
*******
The tea is hot. It hits the back of my throat with a feel good mentality. I haven't had a liquor drink in seventeen years, which is a sign of how old I am. I quit drinking when I was 34. I had to. I hit my bottom, as "they" say. I can't tell you who "they" are because at the level of press, radio and film, you are supposed to be quiet about your involvement in it, so that you don't ruin it for someone else, if you relapse. I wouldn't want to ruin it for someone else; the thing saved my life, it changed my life.
I had a kid around that time, which also contributed to my being able to quit. I loved that kid, and I knew that I wasn't doing him much good as I ran around being a Poet Rock Star Wanna Be stoned on booze all the time.
I wanted to be on the cover of The Stoned Roller, with millions of people loving me, and buying my books, and spoken word cds, but it wasn't happening, and the kid was growing up fast, so I traded in my place as a Drunk Poet for a spot as a Sober Father in the Little League Bleachers watching my son grow up as he ran the bases.
My song then became Cat's In The Cradle by Harry Chapin:
"My child arrived just the other day
He came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away
And he was talkin' 'fore I knew it, and as he grew
He'd say "I'm gonna be like you dad
You know I'm gonna be like you."
I did not want to be the man in the song. I wanted to be there for my son. For the first three years of his life, though I had been mostly physically present, I had been mentally absent from his life. My time was spent with the bottle. The bottle is a vicious thief: it steals time from you, it steals precious time that should be spent with your child.
"I'm gonna be like you dad, you know I'm gonna be like you."
I did not want my son to be like me, so I had to change. And the change that I had to effect was to get rid of the bottle; and I did. I did get ride of the bottle. I went from being a boozer in the music clubs to a hands-on, fully present father. I can not tell you how good that that made me feel about me. I did not feel good being a drunk. It was not something that I was proud of. I was proud of being a father.
"And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home dad?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then."
I'm home son, and I am staying home son. I am here for you, and I will always be here for you. Let someone else get the cover of, "The Stoned Roller." I have found something more important than money, and fame. I have found a love for my son.
"My son turned ten just the other day
He said, "Thanks for the ball, Dad, come on let's play
Can you teach me to throw", I said "Not today
I got a lot to do", he said, "That's ok"
And he walked away but his smile never dimmed
And said, "I'm gonna be like him, yeah
You know I'm gonna be like him."
I threw the ball with my son. And I hit him grounders; endless grounders. I hit my son so many grounders that, at age 12 he wound up being part of a baseball team that won a State Championship. Man those kids were good.
Man, my son was good; and I played a part in that: endless hours at the baseball field hitting pop ups to my son, endless pop ups, and you know what? I enjoyed every minute of it. I was a musician, a spoken word poet, and I thought that I would never return to the baseball field that I had spent a couple seasons on as a kid, but there I was, back on the baseball field, and all because of the love that I had for my son. I was doing it for him. I would do anything for him. Having a son was the first time in my life that I became selfless, that I actually cared about something more than I did myself. It was an exhilarating feeling, to get out of me, and to get into him.
"And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home dad?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then."
I had given up the bottle. I had come home to be with my son. I did have a good time in doing such. I had a great time; I had the time of my life. There is nothing as rewarding, there is nothing that is as much fun as being a father; nothing. I love my son, and I love being a father.
Well, he came home from college just the other day
So much like a man I just had to say
"Son, I'm proud of you, can you sit for a while?"
He shook his head and said with a smile
"What I'd really like, Dad, is to borrow the car keys
See you later, can I have them please?"
My son got into college; he got into two of the best Art Schools in the country, but he didn't want to owe Two Hundred Thousand Dollars for an Art Degree, which I thought was pretty dang smart of him. I don't have a car, so he can't borrow the car keys. I am proud of him, very proud of him. He has turned out to be a brilliant young man. He works as a mechanic, which I think is a great thing to be, because a trade such as being an auto mechanic is something that they can't take away from you. As long as there are cars, my son will have a job. As long as I can breath the air, I will love my son. If I had a car, I might well let my son borrow it.
I might not also.
"Riders On The Storm," is my favorite song by The Doors, and The Doors are either my number one, or number two favorite band, depending on how I am feeling at the time that I am listening to music. I'll tell you, later, who the other act is that occupies my one-or-two slot.
Riders on the storm
Into this house were born
Into this world were thrown
Like a dog without a bone
An actor out on loan
Riders on the storm
"Into this world we were thrown": most definitely. "Like a dog without a bone…" what a great way to put it. We come into this existence with nothing, completely dependent on whoever happens to be around us, like "an actor out on loan."
We have nothing, we are nothing. We may wind up being nothing, having nothing. Who knows what fate has in store for us. Some of us are born into great wealth, and will not much have to worry about paying rent, or buying groceries. We will drive nice cars, and go to good colleges simply by the luck of the draw, and some of us will struggle, financially, all our life.
And who picks who will wind up where and why: an omnipotent supreme being, a roll of the dice? Who knows? We may never know, even when we have passed. Such a great mystery: who controls our destiny, who controls whether we will be born into opulence, or poverty.
Theres a killer on the road
His brain is squirmin like a toad
Take a long holiday
If ya give this man a ride
Sweet memory will die
Killer on the road, yeah
Ted Bundy killed a friend of mine, when I was in college. I was the second to last person to see her alive. I was the second door knocked on in the Police Investigation into her death, the morning after she was killed. Her name was Margaret Bowman. She was a Chi Omega. I knew her from Student Government. The night before she was killed, she had a date with a guy who lived across the hall from me in the frat house that he and I lived in. He didn't have a car, so I dropped him at the front of the Chi O house so that Margaret could drive him and her to this wine and cheese party that us frat boys were having. Then I went and got my date. The four of us sat around and got stupid on wine, mostly ignoring, I'm sure, the cheese. When the party was over, my frat bro tried to get Margaret to come back to his water bed, but she said no, and went back to the Chi O house, and got killed by Ted Bundy instead.
Tallahassee, Florida was one weird; and scared place after that asshole killed Margaret and her sorority sisters that night. I had a guy sleep on my floor for like a month because he was scared shitless; nobody knew what had hit us, nobody knew if it was going to hit us again.
I saw Bundy on tv, year later, and he looked into the camera and said, "I was unable to stop myself. Society has to stop people like me." No shit. I was glad when they fried that bastard, all arguments about the fairness of the death penalty aside.
Girl ya gotta love your man
Girl ya gotta love your man
Take him by the hand
Make him understand
The world on you depends
Our life will never end
Gotta love your man, yeah
I fell in "love" with a girl the summer after I graduated from high school. She wound up breaking my heart. I have had my heart broken a bunch of times; in fact it seems like I am always getting my heart broken. Do you see a pattern here?
Flyin' me back to Memphis
Gotta find my Daisy Jane
well the summer's gone
and I hope she's feelin' the same
Well I left her just to raom the city
Thinkin' it would ease the pain
I'm a crazy man and I'm playin' my crazy game, game
Daisy Jane by America was my favorite song my Freshman year of college, right after that little lady so unceremoniously dropped me as a love interest, I was listening to it a lot. There was a pain in the song that I could relate to. I played the song over and over so many times, that the guys who lived in the dorm room next to mine put a note on my door that said,
"Dear Daisy Jane Lover, PLEASE quit playing the same song over and over. Thank You."
I was embarrassed, and I acquiesced to their request. Maybe it was when I quit playing that song, that I got over that woman. Maybe. It's been so long now that I can't remember. Time is a great healer.
Do you really love me?
I hope you do
Like the stars above me
how I love you
When it's cold at night
everything's all right
She didn't love me. She never loved me. I was just a convenient place to place her lips for awhile. I made her laugh, I made her smile, and then someone else came along who could make her laugh and smile. Oh well, it was a lesson learned that would come in handy over the next 30 years of my life, one that I'm not sure that I learned as well as I should have. Love is a bitch baby. Love is a mean as hell dog from hell. I have never been in love more than three years. What does that make me: a serial monogamist?
I'm 52 years old, and I've never married. What's up with that? My parents were Irish Catholic: they came over on a boat, he from County Cork, and she from Dublin. He lived in the garage, and she lived in the kitchen; they stayed married for The Pope. Isn't that sick: live a life of non-communication because some guy is telling you that you can't get into heaven if you get a divorce?
Anyway, I watched that weird marriage charade that my parents played, and, I think, that, at some level, it affected me, it told me that marriage was a trap, that marriage was evil, and I've never gotten very close to it.
Well she was an American girl
Raised on promises
She couldn't help thinking that there
Was a little more to life
Somewhere else
After all it was a great big world
With lots of places to run to
Yeah, an d if she had to die
Trying she had one little promise
She was going to keep
Well, Tom Petty, I am an American Boy, and I was raised on promises, also. I'm not sure if the promises turned out to be lies, or the path I chose simply put me way outside the majority of promises made to a young whooper snapper in this great nation.
Being a poet carries its own set of rules and regulations. Unless you have a degree in it, there is nowhere to apply for a job in it. There is not much money in it. But, you know something: I love it. I love being A Poet. I would not want to be anything else. I have never been happier in my life, than in the period of my life where I sat down and did what I always wanted to do. I didn't want to be a Lawyer. I didn't want to be a Doctor, an Accountant, a Pilot. I wanted to be A Poet, and, dang it, that is what I am, in richer and in poorer!
Dang. I didn't tell you that I am A Poet. I'm sorry. I forgot. When I was going away to college, I told my dear old dad that I wanted to be a writer. He looked me in the eye and said, "One in a million make it at that game, and I don't think that you have it."
He never thought that I "had it" for anything. But, I listened to the bastard. I didn't pursue my dream; I didn't listen to the voice in my heart that had been saying to me, since second grade that, "You are going to be a writer." I joined a Frat and I studied business like all the other frat boys were doing, and I slowly died inside, from the loss of my dream, and from the booze.
It wasn't until I was 27, and was hanging around punk rock clubs in Atlanta, Ga. that I bought a notebook, and some pens, and started living my dream. I started scribbling poems while the bands played on. I became a music columnist. I got a gig, for a bout a year, with the biggest paper in the Southeast.
I started living the dream, pal…!!
(But…I still had that darn problem with booze.)
Oh yeah, all right
Make it last all night
She was an American girl
Mostly, in my life, it lasted all night when I had been drinking. Maybe it is something about Catholic Guilt that makes it hard for me to take my clothes off with a stranger, unless I have had a fifth of Jack Daniels, or 8 or 10 beers. Even now, at seventeen years sober, I find that I am a bit of a shy guy. The only way that I meet the ladies is on the internet, where I can type my way into their hearts and minds. The old stand up face to face is still, somewhat, nerve-racking to me. It looks as if The Pope may have had some effect on my relationships, also, even though I left the church when I was eighteen. Take it easy baby, make it last all night…and you wake up in the morning and wonder who she is, and where she came from, and what, if anything, the two of you did last night.
"Well, hello. What's your name? And then the two of you just go at it from there, you trying to figure out if she remembers as little of the night before as you do.
Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk,
I'm a woman's man: no time to talk.
Music loud and women warm, I've been kicked around
since I was born.
And now it's all right. It's OK.
And you may look the other way.
We can try to understand
the New York Time's effect on man.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
I can't much tell what this song, "Staying Alive," by the Bee Gees has to do with this story, except that for about a year and a half, Disco enveloped my life. I bought The Platform Shoes. I bought The Funky Silk Pants. I bought the Funky Silk Shirts, and I asked The Ladies to dance; and you know what, while disco was alive, the ladies would say yes to me.
Yeeeeees, and Yippee for Disco.
The Ladies no longer looked down upon you, as if you were an urchin from the bar room floor who was trying to get into their pants by asking them to dance. Noooooooooope, now The Ladies wanted to get down, too. John Travolta and The Bee Gees had us up andd off our bar stool, and moving on the dance floor. It was a great time. Gin and Tonics had not yet reared their ugly head as a drink that I could not drink, because it make me violent. It was a cool drink to sip, lime and all, that gave me a quick buzz, cuz though the ladies were saying, "yes," I was still that shy little Catholic kid who I told you about earlier. Just like I had tried to put a buzz on to go to my first high school dance, in order to be comfortable around the ladies, I was still putting on the the chill my nerves buzz in college. Some things never change. Momma I'll never be coming home, and she knows it.
Whether you're a brother or whether you're a mother,
you're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Feel the city breakin' and everybody shakin',
and we're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive.
At this point in my life, and this point in my drinking, which had become my life, I was doing well. I was "partying" every night in college. One night, it would be a Beat The Clock Night, at a club, the next it would be a Two For One Night, at a club, then there were The Fraternity, and The Sorority parties…kegs, dude, and I was always there when they would tap the mother, and I was always there when the last beer was drained from it. It didn't occur to me that you could be an alcoholic in a Fraternity at College. I thought that alkies were down and out losers, who hung out in The Bowery, and didn't have Platform Shoes, and Silk Pants, and Shirts.
Boy was I wrong.
This seems like a suitable place for a break. Go get you a glass of water, or a cup of coffee. That's what I drink, mostly, filtered water with lime, and coffee.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I hope that that little break did you some good. I find, when I am reading that it is often a good idea to put the book down in various places, and just breath in and breath out for awhile.
The worlds got some plans for me
Courthouse, jails and factories
Black and whites on the street
For me for me
I see my place in American waste
Faced with choices I cant take
American waste American waste
On my own I see my fate
There are two things significant about my life that are found in this Black Flag song called, "American Waste." The first is that I became a Punk Rocker, when I moved to Atlanta, Georgia around 1983. The transition from Frat Boy with a strong Disco Edge was an easy one for me, because on both scenes extreme drinking was a major part of the gig, and, I am a Gemini, so maybe that helps me fit in just about anywhere. I hung out at Punk Clubs, and, if you looked at me, by the way I dressed, and the way I cut my hair, you would say that I was a Punk.
I even had a Mohawk for a little bit. I had this job that I hated; it was killing me. It was as a banquet waiter; I was carrying these heavy ass trays, and my back was starting to hurt a lot. I wanted out. Sitting on the front porch of some friends' house, the conversation between me and this one guy turned to Mohawks.
"I can give you one if you want," he said. "I have done it before, and I am rather good at it."
I knew that this was my ticket out of the job that sucked. "Hell, yes," I said, "Lay it on me."
I called my boss the next morning, extremely hung over and told him what I had done. "Well, that was rather stupid," was about all that he said. He didn't know that I didn't think that it was stupid, that I thought that it was a brilliant move to get me out of the not so wonderful world of banquet waiting.
Also, the Black Flag song refers to, "Courthouse and jails." These two places, due to my drinking, were becoming more, and more, a part of my life. I was often drinking into blackout, and would wake up in the drunk tank, often covered in my own blood, and puke. What a sad existence. How especially sad to think that I would continue to drink, I would continue to drink into blackouts. I would continue to get arrested, and then scramble in my brain in the courthouse, when I would find out what I was charged with, and try to figure out a way to get the charges dropped.
On my own on the way out
Small enough its all spelled out
I know what I see what I want
The doors are closed in this maze
It seemed to me that there was no way out. It seemed to me that I would keep getting drunk, until I finally got in so much trouble that I got some real jail time,
instead of the 2 to 3 day drunk tank sentences that I was getting. I knew that I was in trouble, but I didn't know my way out. A, once, top of his class kid, was now a common criminal, a drunken common criminal. I remember, once, that I had seen this chart about the progression of an alcoholic with jail, and mental institution visits marking the chart right before death. I was hovering above death. I could easily wind up dead, stabbed or shot, for doing something violent or stupid in one of my blackouts. I had no control of myself: I was out of control.
In the day we sweat it out in the streets of a runaway American dream
At night we ride through mansions of glory in suicide machines
Sprung from cages out on highway 9,
Chrome wheeled, fuel injected and steppin' out over the line
Baby this town rips the bones from your back
Its a death trap, its a suicide rap
We gotta get out while were young
'cause tramps like us, baby we were born to run
I was born to run. I had run from my father's house, almost the moment that I could. He had come into my room to give me a new curfew, to give me more shit, shit like he had been giving me for eighteen years. He said that he knew that I was drinking and driving, and that he wanted me to be in the house by nine o'clock. I didn't even think about it. I had been scared of this man for eighteen years, but I wasn't scared of him anymore. I had priced a room in an old hotel by the beach that we lived near, and I knew that I could afford it, that I could afford to move out from under his fascist fist.
I pointed a finger at him. "You're an asshole. You've always been an asshole. I'll be out of this house on Saturday. Don't mess with me until then."
He looked stunned. I don't think that he saw this one coming. I think that he thought that I was going to keep on doing what he said for the whole summer, after high school, until it was time for me to head off to college. But, he was wrong.
I was gone, baby. A tramp like me, baby, I was born to run.
Wendy let me in I wanna be your friend
I want to guard your dreams and visions
Just wrap your legs round these velvet rims
And strap your hands across my engines
Together we could break this trap
Well run till we drop, baby well never go back
Will you walk with me out on the wire
`cause baby Im just a scared and lonely rider
But I gotta find out how it feels
I want to know if love is wild, girl I want to know if love is real
Immediately, I called the girl who I told you about earlier, the girl who wound up breaking my heart; but she didn't break it right away. We had a good summer, a very good summer. I was a Catholic virgin going into that summer, but that didn't last long once I got out of my parents Catholic household and hooked up with this girl.
Making love with her was pure. She was so lovely, and I was so innocent.
I thought that she and I would never go back. She showed me the wild side of love, and I thought that our love was real. I was on top of the world; nothing could stop me. My dad was right: I was drinking and driving. I would put a six pack in the car and drive up the beautiful, and endless beaches, that populated the small Florida town that I lived in. There was nothing as pure as catching a buzz, and looking at the sand, and listening to the surf while driving up and down the beach.
Like I said, I was on top of the world. I was out of my dad's house, and I was getting laid, thinking that she and I were in love. Well, maybe I was, but once the summer was over, and I went off to college, she, somehow, quit being in love.
Looking for another place
To ride into the sun
Ride into the sun
Ride into the sun
Ride into the sun
When this girl broke my heart I had to look for another place to be, just like in this Velvet Underground song called, "Ride Into The Sun." This is where I made one of the hugest tactical errors of my life, and joined The Fraternity. I would probably have become a drunk, if I had not joined The Frat, but The Frat certainly, as I told you earlier, accelerated things.
Ride into the sun. Ride into the oblivion of the every night buzz. Lose your mind right around the time that you are supposed to graduate, and stumble away from college one class short of a degree: a business degree…you didn't want a business degree, you wanted an English Degree or a Journalism Degree, but they didn't offer journalism at the school were you were drinking at, and, at this point in time, you have no idea if they offered an English degree. You did what all the other Frat Boys were doing: you studied business, so that you could get some sort of a job that you did not want. That Real Estate Finance class kicked your ass; you couldn't pass that class. What a bummer dude; bummer. Nobody but you put a dime into those four years of schooling, and you had just failed yourself.
Where everything seems so pretty
When you're lonely and tired of the city
Remember it's a flower made out of clay
To the city
Where everything seems so ugly
When your sitting at home in self pitty
Remember you're just one more person
Who's living there
It's hard to live in the city
It's hard to live in the city
It's hard to live in the city
It is hard to live anywhere, when you are self-destructing. The buzz was not fun anymore. The buzz had just ruined what was supposed to be one of the biggest accomplishments of my life: four years and nothing to show for it. No degree. No degree. No degree.
Coffee in the morning is good medication. Some mornings I wash the pills down with the coffee: mmmm mmmm good.
It turns out that there was a little thing about me that I didn't know all the years that I was drinking. It turns out that I was self-medicating for a condition that they call bi-polar. When Jimi Hendrix had it, it was called Manic-depression, but I guess that they wanted to mellow the name a bit, so they changed it to bi-polar.
I googled manic depression versus bi-polar, and a lot of listings came up, but none that answered my question as to why they changed the name. Oh well, the name is not what matters; what matters is that, on medication, and with therapy, I no longer have the wide mood swings that I used to have. I am not curled in the fetal position, at times, thoroughly depressed.
I am not wildly manic, running about my home like I am Mick Jaggar on speed.
I remember one night, about 25 years ago, when I was thoroughly depressed. I drank a large bottle of wine, and headed out to The Punk Rock club. I woke up on the floor of the dump that I lived in, hung over as hell, but you know what, I had beaten the depression that was nagging me the night before. If that is not self-medication, I certainly don't know what is. I bet that I did this many, many times over my drinking career; drank to alter depressed or otherwise foul moods.
I haven't had a drink in almost 18 years. I am really proud of this fact, and this fact has probably kept me alive. I had two guns pulled on me, while I was drinking, one by a police officer who I screamed at, "Shoot me, you mother fucker…shoot me."
Hell, if I had been that cop, I would have shot my punk ass, my big mouthed ass.
What are the Symptoms of Bipolar Disorder?
Bipolar disorder is associated with severe and extreme symptoms. However, bipolar disorder symptoms are often not recognized or are confused with other illnesses, which can unfortunately lead to unnecessary long-term suffering. Bipolar disorder distorts mood and thought patterns.
People with bipolar disorder experience dramatic mood swings, altering from extreme highs to extreme lows. These highs are called "mania" and these lows are called "depression". If you are experiencing frequent periods of mania altering with depression, with periods of normalcy in between, you may have bipolar disorder.
http://www.epigee.org/mental_health/bipolar.html
Should someone who is bi-polar be forgiven for all the lousy behavior that he has exhibited, once he has gone on lithium, and is no longer exhibiting all that lousy behavior?
I was forgiven by the family that adopted me: my son's mother, her new husband, and my kids.
Busted flat in Baton Rouge, waiting for a train
And I's feeling nearly as faded as my jeans.
Bobby thumbed a diesel down just before it rained,
It rode us all the way to New Orleans.
Me and Bobby McGee
--Written by Kris Kristofferson
--Immortalized by Janis
I went "On The Road," for a summer. I'm not sure if I was influenced by The Kerouac Book, if I was trying to find myself, or if I was running away from myself: probably a little bit of all three. After reading the book, going on the road seemed like something that I had to do. It seemed like a wild, wide-open adventure that every young man should take. In retrospect, now that I am a father, I don't like the conclusion to the book, where Kerouac seems to be saying that you should blow off your wife and kid, and head out on the road with your buddy or buddies looking for some high jazz induced times. I don't think that you should blow off your kids. I think that you should be there for your kids, no matter what the situation is between you and their mother.
Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose,
Nothing don't mean nothing honey if it ain't free, now now.
And feeling good was easy, Lord, when he sang the blues,
You know feeling good was good enough for me,
Good enough for me and my Bobby McGee.
I've always related to the line, "Freedom's just another world for nothing left to lose." I mean when nothing is tying you down, when nothing is holding you, then you are free man…aren't you? Or does freedom lie in having so much money, that you don't ever have to work again?
I think that freedom is basically a state of mind. Meditation can lead to freedom. When you free your mind, you free the rest of you. When your mind is calm, when your mind is free from stress, you are free. Maybe there are different kinds of freedom, just like there are different truths.
Lordy Lordy Lordy Lordy Lordy Lordy Lordy Lord
Hey, hey, hey, Bobby McGee.
Janis has lost Bobby, up by Salinas. She seems to be calling out to the Lord. Is calling out to the Lord a path to freedom? Is being in touch with The Lord a way to set yourself free? Do you have to go to church on Sunday to do this? Can you have your own special relationship with The Lord, outside of the conduit that a Priest or Preacher provides for you?
I quit going to church when I was 19. I was sitting in the pew at The Catholic Church, at a Sunday evening service, I believe it was, and I looked over and saw a Fraternity Brother of mine in another one of the pews. I said to myself, what the hell is he doing here: he was drunk last night, and trying to get laid.
And then, I looked at myself, and I said…hell, what am I doing here; I was drunk last night, also, and I did get laid.
I quit going to church after that.
People look upon me as a great father. I receive compliments all the time about how good I am with my kids. I think it interesting to realize that the man who stands in front of those people who are complimenting me used to go in and out of drunk tank regularly, and used to go in and out of state mental institutions regularly.
I don't know if you believe in miracles, but, really, my life is a miracle. I slid about as low down on the drunk down and out scale as you can go, and, then, I have climbed back up to a place near the top of the happy and successful life scale.
I do not have lots of money, but because of the kids, and my place in their life, I have lots of happiness.
Come gather 'round people
And admit that the waters
Around you have grown
And accept it that soon
You'll be drenched to the bone.
If your time to you
Is worth savin'
Then you better start swimmin'
Or you'll sink like a stone
For the times they are a-changin'.
Bob Dylan nailed it with this song, "The Times They Are A Changing." My life has been a long series of growth spurts. I grew when I left my parents house. I grew when I learned to dance disco. I grew when I went punk rock in dress and attitude, but most of all, I grew when I sobered up and became a father.
I could have stayed where I was, an LSD soaked, beer and bourbon driven Poet aspiring to the cover of The Stone Roller, but I didn't and I'm damn glad that I didn't.
Come writers and critics
Who prophesize with your pen
And keep your eyes wide
The chance won't come again
And don't speak too soon
For the wheel's still in spin
And there's no tellin' who
That it's namin'.
Will be later to win
For the times they are a-changin'
Yes Bob, "the loser now will be later to win." That is the story of my life. I am a writer who prophesizes with his pen. Early in my life, I wrote The Book of Misery. I thought that I was having a good time, but I wasn't. I didn't start having a good time until I wrote The Book Of Love, which is the story about my children and I.
Have you read it, yet?
PART 2
I was going to end it there. I was going to end The Book of Love with and acknowledgment of my children, but I have decided that would not be fair. It would not be fair to you, it would not be fair to me. There is more to my life than just the tale of liquor, and the tale of love for my children. There are 14 pre-liquor years to talk about, and there are 17 plus post liquor years to talk about.
All that happened leading up to me taking my first drink was not bad. There were some good times, also, and I will try to recount some of them for you, thought my desire, my tendency is to want to try to write about the bad things that happened in these years, perhaps to make you feel sorry for me.
I went to a regular kindergarten, and as far as I can remember, I was just a regular kid. I did not stand out any in either the capacity of having great traits, or in the capacity of having bad traits. I was just an average, normal, regular kindergartener. I bet that if you went and found my kindergarten teacher, she would tell you that she did not remember me because I was such a blasé, run of the mill, average kid.
I remember that I liked eating crackers during break. This was my favorite part of my kindergarten day. I am sure that they must have had peanut butter, and jam, to put on those crackers, or else I would not be remembering having crackers at all.
We don't need no education
We dont need no thought control
No dark sarcasm in the classroom
Teachers leave them kids alone
Hey! Teachers! Leave them kids alone!
All in all it's just another brick in the wall.
All in all you're just another brick in the wall.
Roger Waters of the band Pink Floyd must have had a very different schooling experience than I did. I went to Catholic School from the 1st through 5th grade, and don't remember the nuns being overly oppressive. I had one if the second grade who, I guess, thought that I was brilliant, because she wanted to transfer me from the second grade into the third. This matter was seriously looked into by the school, and by my parents, but a decision was made to keep me where I was. Had I been transferred in such a manner, my life would have been very different in grades 6 through 11. In these grades, I had a bully dogging me out, making my life very miserable. In retrospect, I often think that if I had known how to fight, my life would not have been so bad. If I had known how to fight, I could have walked up to this bully, and kicked his ass, and all the problems that he was causing me would have gone away.
We don't need no education
We dont need no thought control
No dark sarcasm in the classroom
Teachers leave them kids alone
Hey! Teachers! Leave them kids alone!
All in all it's just another brick in the wall.
All in all you're just another brick in the wall.
So, with me, it wasn't the teachers that needed to leave me alone, but another student. The teachers mostly liked me. I was a good student. I did my homework on time. I made good grades. The dark sarcasm being projected at me was from a kid who eventually wound up being the Captain of the football team in High School. What an asshole. What a loser. Leave me alone, you dickhead, before I put a brick in your head.
More on this later, but, right now, I want to talk about what my father taught me in the second grade. He taught me that back in Ireland, where he came from, "real men," circled up to settle their differences, which means that the two guys who have a fight to pick with each other get in the middle of a circle of their friends or acquaintances, and neither one can leave the circle until the fight is over.
Second grade…this is when he taught me this. My father taught me that you should fight, but he didn't teach me how to fight, so, consequently, I was coming home, regularly with my white Catholic school shirt covered in blood. I would come home to my mother, and, to this day, I can not understand why she would stand for her son being part of a situation. It makes no sense to me.
I taught my kids not to fight. I taught them to get a teacher, get a cop, get whatever authority figure was available to stop the fight, and I, also, took them to Jiu Jitsu training, so that, if there was a fight, they would know what to do. I mean come on; why would you send a kid out to fight in the second grade, and why would you send him out to fight without teaching him how to fight. Just how stupid were those guys who circle up back in Ireland?
"Wrong, Do it again!"
"If you don't eat yer meat, you can't have any pudding. How can you
have any pudding if you don't eat yer meat?"
When we were young, we had to eat fish on Friday's in my father's home, as he called it…he would say that it was his, his home, his house…his, his, his, implying that it was not mine, mine, mine at all. Anyway, whatever fish that my mother got at the grocery store was NASTY. It nearly made me sick. It made me gag. It was awful, and, you know what, if I did not eat every last bit of it, my father would slap me across the face. He did this at other meals besides The Catholic Fish Dinner. Spaghetti, steak, salad…it didn't matter; if I didn't wipe my plate clean he would backhand me. I got to where I would pile the food that I couldn't stand, lima beans come strongly to mind, across the sides of my mouth, and then ask to be excused.
When the old man gave his ok, I would hurry up the stairs to the bathroom and spit the nasty stuff that was in my mouth out.
What an ordeal. Did you grow up like that? Were meal times a fun time for you and your family, or was it like some sort of concentration camp punishment ritual for you?
Slow ride, take it easy - Slow ride, take it easy,
Slow ride, take it easy - Slow ride, take it easy.
I'm in the mood, the rhythm is right,
Move to the music, we can roll all night.
Oooh, oooh, slow ride - oooh, oooh...
My love life has been what I would call sporadic. You might say that I am a serial monogamist. The longest that I have made it with any one woman is three years. She and I were "party" buddies. That means that we both liked to get drunk, get high, and do LSD together. One night, we were at an Art Opening in Downtown Atlanta, and, as we we leaving The Opening, my love said to me, "Hey, will you drive?"
Without even thinking about it, without even thinking about my inebriated condition, I said, "Sure."
Within three minutes, I had hit something, and the car refused to move. We got out and saw that I had landed the car onto a median in the road. We looked at each other, giggled, and just walked away from the vehicle, not too concerned about it.
The next morning, my Love made some phone calls, and found out where the car had been towed to. She went and picked it up.
This incident is emblematic of a whole large portion of my using life where I did not get into trouble for something that I did under the influence, that I easily could have. This incident could have resulted in arrest. It really should have resulted in arrest: what incredible dangerous, and stupid, behavior I was engaging in.
The car was not even damaged, when we got it back. We just got back into it, and continued with our dangerous, stupid lifestyle. God, I did love that woman, though.
Slow ride, take it easy
Slow ride, take it easy
Slow ride, take it easy - Slow ride, take it easy
Slow down, go down, got to get your lovin' one more time
Hold me, roll me, slow ridin' woman you're so fine
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
3.
I have escaped the grip of the demon alcohol. I sit here this morning, nurturing a nice cup of coffee, the sweetener Stevia, and some nice Soy Creamer added. I don't know how many times in my life, around 6 a.m. that I was being woken by jailers to go face the judge, many times covered in my own puke and blood. What a shit existence, but I lived it for so long. I kept doing the same thing over and over. Someone told me, once I sobered up, that "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over, and over, and expecting different results." In that case I was certainly insane.
One, two boys by the river
Down by the water
Tellin' riddles in the dark
With fireflies under the moonlight
Carvin' the insides of a tree with a knife
Ever hear the one about the boy's big sister
His best friend come along
He tried to kiss her
[Chorus:]
Is you are exactly the same
As you used to be
It was Sixth Ave. Heartache that won me over to The Wallflowers, but this song, "The Difference," always made a great deal of sense to me. I heard the songs several times on the Local FM Rock N Roll Radio Station, and I was hooked. I went to see the band at a small local club, I bought the cd.
The only difference
Is you are exactly the same
As you used to be
This is exactly what was always said about me. People were pointing out that I hadn't changed, though I was trying to present myself to them as a new person. It takes a lot to change, and I wasn't, for the longest, time willing to take those steps to change.
I wasn't yet ready to shut up, to shut up the internal voices that were always running in my head saying, "me, me, me," and listen to "the experience, hope, and strength of others."
People look at me now, and say, "Man, you have really changed." I smile in appreciation, but I smile knowing that I had a lot of help. There were many willing to share their, "experience, strength, and hope with me," many who shared freely with me what they had done to get sober, how they had gone "to any length," to get and stay sober.
For this, I thank them profusely.
------------------------------------------
When I was about nine, I remember my father pointing a finger at me, and screaming at me, "You are going to be a drunk, I know that you are going to be a drunk." It seemed really weird to me at the time. I barely knew what alcohol was was. It was that nasty smelling beer, and nasty smelling bottle of whatever it was that my father got plastered on from time to time, and then started yelling at everyone, like he was now. How could he think that I was going to associate with that fouls smelling stuff that made one act so weird?
But associate with it, I did. At age 14 some kids that I hung out with discovered that an old man, who lived down the street from us all, kept cases of Schlitz in his garage, and started lifting a case from the old man on Fridays.
At first, the beer tasted like shit. It made me gag, but I kept drinking it, and soon I found the neatest feeling behind the lousy taste. A beautiful, happy haze engulfed me. I felt whole, and protected for the first time in my life: I was drunk. Yes, father, if this is what being drunk is all about then I am going to be a drunk.
And I set off on that path, a path that I plowed from the ages of 14 through 34.
Alcohol became my friend. It made me a jovial extrovert, it helped me talk to the ladies. It made me feel good, oh yes, in the beginning, it made me feel so, so good.
One boy lives in a tower
With bow and arrow
You always said that you needed some
But you always had more, more than anyone
I used to stash beers in the produce container of refrigerators at parties, when I was in my 20's. I would stash two or three beers there, so that when the beers ran out, at the party, I would still have some to drink.
I wasn't going to run out, no not me. I always had more, more than anyone.
I don't know if I will die with a little boy face. I do know that, if things remain the same in my life, as they are now, I will not die with the smell of liquor on my breath, and that is a miracle.
Do you believe in miracles?
If only you believe like I believe, baby
We'd get by
If only you believe in miracles, baby
So would I
If only you believe like I believe, baby
Wed get by
If only you believe in miracles, baby
So would I.
-------------------------------------------
Another miracle in my life are the animals that have, somehow, showed up to join me in this journey. I have two dogs, two cats, and two turtles. The cats are named
Kobain, and Jaggar, the dogs are Morisson, and Bundy, and the turtles are named Prynce and Rue Paul. I will talk more about them, later, but let me first talk about one of my brushes with one of the famous people who I named my turtle after.
Ru Paul is red hot…
ELABORATE HERE DEAR…
This is turning out to be something other than it was intended, but, then, isn't that how life is. Life is change. Life never turns out the way that you intended it to be, now does it? "Life is what happens to you when you are busy making other plans," said John Lennon before he was prematurely struck down. Mr. Lennon certainly didn't plan on that ending for himself, now did he? He thought that he was coming out with a new album, and maybe might be touring, again; singing his songs to the folks, once more.
Moving from Catholic School in the 5th grade to Public School in the 6th grade, was, at first a big change for me. In the Catholic School, we were taught to stand,
after raising our hand and getting the attention of the teacher. The Public School Kids were not taught to stand, and they thought it very funny, and stupid, that I
was standing when I addressed The Teacher.
They laughed at me and threw things at me, until I learned not to stand in such a situation. Looking at this, as I type it, it seems so trivial, but, at the time, the whole thing had a great power over me. I was nervous to be in a new school as it was, and would have preferred to just fit in, but here I was, the class clown of sorts, being picked on, and laughed at by a majority of my class mates. In the year 2009, you might turn on the television, or pick up the newspaper to see where a frustrated 6th grade student had come to class with a gun, and had shot several of his classmates. That method of dealing with your frustration wasn't in vogue, yet.
The kid who sat directly behind me was especially annoying. Not only did he throw things at me, and laugh at me when I stood up to speak to the teacher, but he had a bad habit of slapping me on the head. I can't remember specifically what caused him to slap me on the head, but I am pretty sure that he did not need much of a reason to do this: he derived a great pleasure from doing so, I am sure.
One day, I turned around and told him that if he slapped me again, I was going to hit him. I guess that he did not believe me, because he soon slapped me. I turned around crawled over his desk, and hauled off and smacked him on the chin. A fight ensued which had my classmates in an uproar. The teacher, for whatever reason, took awhile to recognize what was going on, but when she did she sent both of us to the office.
After telling my side of the story to The Principal, which is exactly what I just told you, I was sent back to the classroom. We didn't see the other fellow for several days, and when he returned, it was in a very subdued mood.
It turned out that this guy was kind of the class bully, and that he was not much liked by the other kids, so the fact that I had engaged him in a fight, and had won, suddenly endeared my classmates to me. I find it a strange way to go from being laughed at for standing up to suddenly having kids gather around me and want me to hang out with them.
Truckin' got my chips cashed in. Keep truckin', like the do-dah man
Together, more or less in line, just keep truckin' on.
Arrows of neon and flashing marquees out on Main Street.
Chicago, New York, Detroit and it's all on the same street.
Your typical city involved in a typical daydream
Hang it up and see what tomorrow brings.
Dallas, got a soft machine; Houston, too close to New Orleans;
New York, got the ways and means; but just won't let you be,
Most of the cats that you meet on the street speak of true love,
Most of the time they're sittin' and cryin' at home.
One of these days they know they gotta get goin'
Out of the door and down on the street all alone.
I am not sure of the significance of this song, "Truckin'," by The Grateful Dead, to this part of the story. I am pretty sure that I have mentioned to you earlier, that I went on the road, for a summer or so. I started in Florida, and first wound up at The World's Fair in Louisville, Kentucky. Low paying work was easy to find, but the whole scene was a grind; it was boring as all get up. I left The World's Fair with eleven cents in my pocket, not even wanting to wait until my paltry paychecks showed up.
------------------------
I almost got a call that I've been dreading for a couple of years now. On my son's 8th birthday, his mother brought home the most delightful dog, who immediately fit into our family. He was fun, he was fluffy, he liked to eat, and he liked to chase tennis balls. In fact, in time, we learned that he was a tennis ball addict. We also learned that he was a food addict.
Anyway, we have had this dog, Javi, for over twelve years, now, and the poor thing is getting old, and that was what I was worried about; that the kids' mom is going to call me and tell me that she had to have Javi put down.
Javi has arthritis; he can't chase tennis balls anymore. He can still eat, though, and we have to keep his weight down. If you don't watch him, he will eat all the food on his plate, and then he will eat all the food on your plate; greedy dog.
Inspite of the fact that he steal food from us, we love him so. I don't see how these people can leave the family dog in the basement of their house, and just move on. I understand that money is tight because they have been foreclosed on, but, have a heart honey, where is your soul?
Can you imagine buying a house, and on the first day that you move into it, one of the kids is screaming at you, "Mom, mom, come here…" What a thing to find. Fido is expendable. Some folks, due to the recession, are driving their kids to the streets,
because they can't afford them; there are twelve year old girls out there in the our parks, after dark, giving blowjobs to dirty old men, so that they can survive as a twelve year old on their own.
It's a sick fucking existence, sometimes. when you get right down to it. And God gave us all free will.
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I've learned that I don't have to be in the clean plate club, that I can scrape the food that I don't want onto the floor, and the dogs will be happy to have it. Javi, who has been a part of our family for 12 plus years now, may be at the end of this journey. This will be the first dog that I've been a part of who I will see pass on. I'm not any good at death.
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I'm having trouble finding songs to post here. I'm not sure why you should be interested in my life. Blah blah.
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It's hard to fool a cat. In the mornings, I like to give my cats a little snack of wet cat food. Occasionally, I run out of the wet cat food, and you have never seen two Misses Prisses so offended. They hover about their bowls, meowing, for hours, just not getting it; just not getting that I have let them down for the second day in a row. I have made a note, today. For me notes are good. For me, notes are essential, or I do not come away from the store with what I want, with what I need.
What I need is to lose weight. I have lost 35 pounds, but it is not enough. I still have another 40 pounds to go to be at the weight that is normal for my height. Normal is something that I may have always had trouble being. What is normal, anyway?
I know that normal is not blacking out, and waking up, regularly, inside
drunk tanks covered in your own blood, and puke. I know that normal is not, being taken to the loony bin for three, and five day visits, and having them ask you if you know who you are, and if you know who the President is.
Gosh, who was The President during those crazy times of mine?
I would say that my life now is normal, in my own special way. I am blessed to have a lot of time on my hands for writing. I think that as a bi-polar human being I just don't fit into most of the work schemes that men and women have devised to make a buck. There is too much stress in those worlds. People don't care about each other, as far as I can see, because they are not allowed to. People are pressured to do whatever it is that will make the most money for the people in charge of the corporation, or business.
I was a waiter for a long time. I enjoyed the lifestyle. Most everybody in the business "partied," i.e. got drunk, got high. There was always access to a bar, and there were various ways to work a deal with a bartender to get a drink, and I got paid every day, i.e. tips found their way into my pocket, and I had the cash to buy me some cocktails every night.
There was this one manager, who I worked for that was a real asshole. He thought that because he was the manager, that he had the right to be rude to people, to insult them. He thought that because he was the manager that he owned people, and that the minute that they put on their uniform, that he owned them.
He was a major prick, and, one morning, he was being particularly harsh to a female friend of mine, an artist, who really wasn't good at putting up with the
type of tongue lashing that he was giving her over cleaning the forks, or making sure that the ketchup, and the mustard were full.
I flipped, and started giving him a worse chewing out than he was giving my friend. I yelled at him, and told him what a low life piece of dog dung that he was,
how he didn't deserve to be breathing the same air as the rest of us.
Then, I left his "lineup," and headed out of the restaurant. The dining room was full, already. I knocked over the "Specials" sign, and I started yelling at the folks eatig their lunch how they shouldn't eat here, because the manager treats his employees worse than slaves anywhere on the planet were ever treated.
A security guard in a golf cart followed me off the property. I never regretted quitting that job, or the way that I quit it. I think that there is a standard of decency that should be followed in dealing with each other on this planet, and that jerk was not following it. He was following his own little fascist, sadistic trip, and I wasn't down with it. He, I'm sure, got his bonus, and I am glad I got the hell out of there.
Am I normal?
Maybe I should get all the weird stuff that happened to me off my chest right here, and then I can see if there is any normal stuff left after that.
I hitchhiked to Atlanta from Tallahassee, Florida in 1982. Though I was very much not a Fraternity type anymore, I needed a place to sleep, so I showed up at the Georgia Tech Chapter of Phi Delta Theta. I showed the guys the Phi handshake, smiled at them the right way, I guess, and they gave me the room of one of the guys gone for the summer. The room was scary. There were pictures of Ronald Reagan, on the wall, and right wing, conservative Republican books scattered through the room.
I knew that I was in the den of the enemy, and I would have to lay low, and keep my mouth shut, until it was time to move on. I had not yet spent any nights out with mother nature, and I did not want to start then.
At that age, and at that point in time, the kind of jobs that I was after were easy to get. I had two jobs within a few days; one as a lunch waiter at a place that sold chicken wings, and the other as a busboy at a fancy fish restaurant in downtown Atlanta.
I was not lazy back then, and physically I could handle the demands of being a waiter. I always say, that a waiter, or a waitress, or a "server" as they are called now earns every penny of the supposedly large amount of money that they earn. It is a very taxing job; stressful on the mind, and on the body. You must be a diplomat, and, sometimes summon the ability within you not to kill somebody, one of your customers specifically.
Some people will intentionally goad you like the woman in Tallahassee, Florida who came into a steak restaurant that I was working at.
The menu said that we offered a, "Man's Size Steak," and this ugly, moron wanted, repeatedly, to know why we didn't offer a "Woman's Size Steak."
And she was persistent about it. I tried telling her that I didn't know, I tried telling her that I didn't write the menu, and I tried telling her that I didn't own the restaurant. The awful lady never asked for a manager; she was content to give me the hard time. She was a mean sadist and I was her punching bag for the evening, but I was making some of that easy waiter money so I hung in there. Someone told me, later, that I should have spit in her steak, as I brought it to her, that that would have made me feel better.
Hmmmmmmmmmmm.
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The cats have settled down. They have finally forgotten about being screwed out of their morning snack. I have made a note to buy them some wet food for the morning. Often, if I do not write things down, I forget to do them. Did I tell you that already?
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I'm starting to see a pattern within all these old incidences in my life that I am telling you about: I am always whining about being the victim. It is funny, and strange, because in my life now, I am never the victim. I guess that it must boil down to the way you approach things, and handle yourself in this existence.
The worse incident in my drinking career might well have been the night that I got the only dui. that I ever got. I had been drinking Vodka with my girlfriend, at our apartment, and when she fell asleep, or passed out, I decided that I had to have more to drink, that I had to go out, so I grabbed the keys to her car, and headed to a club that I hung out at quite a bit.
A fellow who I knew through my music column, he managed a really good band, bought me some Irish Coffees; my they went down well on top of the vodka. I left the club on fire full of the buzz that I had sought. As I got near to home, I decided to stop at this other club that was ahit or miss in regards to whether it was any fun to hang out at. Sometimes it was cool; sometimes it sucked.
Then, I did something that I've never done in my life: I spun donuts with my girlfriend's car in the gravel parking lot across from the club. When I got to the door there was a police officer standing there who was not too happy to see me.
"I don't like the way you are dressed, boy," was the first thing that he said to me.
I was wearing pink jeans with fashionable punk rock holes in them, a black sleeveless shirt, torn(I thought that that was fashionable at the time,) and my hair was bleached white and cut like Billy Idol's(not intentionally, on my part, mind you.)
What the fuck, I thought, thinking about how the cop had approached me, and then, knowing I was already in trouble, I said to the officer, "I don't really like the way that you are dressed, either!"
From there, all hell broke lose, that resulted in seven charges being levied against me, two of them being counts of simple battery on a police officer. But the stupidest thing that I did was to light my sock on fire once, they got me in the jailed van, so that I could come out and take another swing at the arresting officer.
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I'm not a fan of poetry that is inaccessible. Make that: I am not a fan of writing that is inaccessible. What makes it accessible? I can read it!
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I'm working as a Barista in a coffee shop that is located in a large corporate bookstore. First, I was amazed that I got the gig, and second I am surprised that after almost a year doing it, that I still dig it. I must be getting old.
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I wonder if dogs ever get aggravated when you throw them something, and they fail to catch it? I am forever throwing my dogs snacks; their percentage rate of catches is good, but, sometimes, the snack will hit them on the mouth, or teeth, and fall to the floor. Does this ever aggravate a dog, as it might you or I if we dropped the ball while playing catch with our kid, or a friend?
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At about five years sober, I decided to go back to College and get the degree that I had messed up on twice before. Twice? Yes, I told you about drinking my way out of college the first time, once class short of a degree. Well, at the height of my LSD use, I got the grand idea to return to college, and get a Journalism degree, because surely I was the next Hunter Thompson, and the fact that I was severely soaked in alcohol, and drugs would suit me to pursuits of the academic type with
a primary emphasis in journalism.
Well, I failed my the journalism class that I took, and I failed the biology class that I took, and I staggered away, once again, from school, figuring that I would have to come up with some other way to be the next Hunter Thompson. I had not yet figured out that I should be trying to be me, and not anyone else.
Anyway, at five years sober, I, once again applied, and was accepted to college.
The Journalism Professor who had had to flunk me years before, because I sat in the back row, imagining my the literary greatness that was certainly to soon befall me, instead of paying attention to what he was saying, told me about a program called, "Retroactive Hardship Withdrawal," whereby by filling out some paperwork, and getting signatures from the persons who had taught the classe, you could be withdrawn from the class, all these years later.
My F's in Journalism, and Biology were removed. I was thankful, and relieved. I was not going to have the GPA to go to Havard Law School, or UCLA Medical school, but those were not my goals, anyway. For now, I just wanted to get the degree that I had failed to get because of my drug, and alcohol use. I really did not see myself ever using the degree, which this time out, would be in English, with a minor in Journalism. It was a writing degree, and I was already a writer, and I was mostly happy with the arena in which I was writing. I called myself a
"Live to the Internet Writer."
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I was sitting on a bench in the hallway when she came up. She seemed tense.
She took my hand, and said that she was the prosecuter, and that, with a guilty plea, on my part, I would get 2 1/2 years in jail. I gulped but said what I had been coached by a friend to say, "In that case, I'm pleading innocent, and I want a jury trial."
She gulped, and said that she would be back in a bit.
When she returned she offered me 30 days in jail, saying that I would only do 15 because the jail was overcrowded, 45 days community service, a $300 fine, and that I would have to give the arresting officer $100 for his destroyed clipboard, and torn shirt.
I smiled at her, and said, "Guilty."
But what if I had not had a friend who was an attorney coaching me? I could not afford an attorney. I would have spent 2 1/2 years in jail instead of 15 days. There seems something really amiss going on here.
My friend said that the prosecutor's interest was to win cases, so that she could then get hired at a high salary by a criminal defense attorney's office. If she went to a jury trial, she might lose my case, plus it would take up a lot more of her time than getting a plea from me would.
Moral of story: don't drink and drive.
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I always liked school lunches, and I almost liked jail food. That should tell you that I am not much of a Gourmand. It doesn't tell you that I am a heavy eater.
I am part of what I have heard called, "The Clean Plate Club." What this means, to me, was that if I did not eat all the food on my plate, my father would backhand me, and scream, "Your mother, and I worked hard to put that food on your plate."
Now, I understand his point, but Daddy, really, was the backhand necessary? Don't you realize that you were teaching me that violence was the way to solve things? Don't you know that you were heading me down a lonely road, full of behaviors that carried jail time with them, if you were turned in or otherwise caught?
Do you realize, my deceased father, that to this day, I eat every crumb on my plate, no matter how much food has been put on it, and that that has lead to obesity that has lead to diabetes?
It's all your fault, father.
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Sleeping late on the weekends was not something that my father was going to let me do. He wanted me, "to get up and make something of my life." This got harder to do in High School, when I was starting to wake up with hangovers from the alcohol that I had consumed the night before.
My father was a tyrant; a dictator. Things were going to be done his way, or you were going to hit the highway. He had come here from Ireland with specific goals
in mind, and one of them was to have a perfect kid. I really let him down on that one. I turned out to have a real bad attitude, and a real bad drinking problem. And like I told you before, I told him to fuck off when I decided to move out of "his." house.
My parents bought a new house, up North; brand new, so new that I had to take off my shoes at the door, so as to not get any dirt in their new house. Then I had to stop walking on the carpet that covered the stairway that lead to my bedroom My father said that I was wearing out his carpet. The problem was, to me anyway, that my bedroom was at the top of those stairs, so he was saying that I could only visit my bedroom, once a day, at night when I slept there.
Man, I thought that sucked, but I was powerless to do anything about it, just like I was powerless to do anything about anything that my father did or said.
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!
My therapist recently told me that I was, "abused by my father."
I told her that I figured that he did the best that he could with what had been given to him. It had taken a long time for me to get to this space with regards to my Dad. For years, decades, actually, I had blamed him for most everything bad
that occurred to me.
My joke was that when some people's father's died they get a hotel chain; me I got a bad temper, a drinking problem, psoriasis, diabetes, and a bi polar situation.
It is easy to blame someone or some ones else for your condition. It is easy to blame your problems on someone else, especially when they were such strong figure in you life for so long. But, somewhere along the line, you have to grow up and accept responsibility for your own messes. For me that point came shortly after the birth of my second son.
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I have figured out a way to get out of the clean plate club. I eat until I am full, and then I give the dogs what is left on the plate. The problem with this, as you might well can tell, is that the dogs are going to get fat. They are going to get fat with a big smile on their faces, though.
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It was 4:oo a.m. when the phone rang. I was living in the basement of a rooming house; the first of a long number of dumps that I would live in in Atlanta. I like dumps. I feel comfortable there. I don't have to take my shoes off at the door. I can spill things on the carpet, and no one cares, no one notices because there wear already an abundance of stains on the carpet when I moved in. Some landlords, though, will try to keep your deposit based on old stains, based on stains that somebody else put there. Some landlords, of course, are assholes.
Anyway, the phone rings; I sit up, and I say to myself, my father is dead. I answer the phone, it is a friend of my mother's and she says, "Mikel, your father is dead."
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Before I moved out of my father's house, I told my father that I was planning on studying writing in college that I was planning on being a writer. He looked straight at me, and without even thinking about what he was saying, he said, "One in a million make it at that game, and I don't think that you have it.?
I winced. Had he been following my high school writing career? I was the Sports Editor of the School Newspaper. I had won the Speech Writing Contest that the school had every year. I was recognized by my teachers as a top tier writer: and my father says that he didn't think that I have it.
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I discovered Punk rock in Atlanta, or should I say that Punk Rock discovered me? I was, to say the least, a bit socially unacceptable when I was drunk, but that didn't seem to matter to the motley bunch of friendly human beings who
I encountered at the bars 688, The Bistro and Margaritaville.
At one show, I was crumpling my spent beer cans, and flinging them at the singer, figuring that a fight would somehow ensue, but instead the guy came out and shook my hand. Weird, I thought. Several weeks later, at a club called Margaritaville I was sitting at a table with a notebook, and a pen, having decided, almost nine years later to not listen to what my father had said to me about being a writer.
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The other day, in the bookstore, a little girl looked up at me and told me,
that I, "looked like Santa." I have a white beard, so I can see where she was coming from. I am surprised that I don't hear that more. Maybe most little kids just keep what they are thinking to themselves.
"Don't talk to strangers…" Isn't that what most of us were taught?
I decided to have fun with the little girl, so I smiled at her, and said, "Well, yes I am Santa, but it is August, and since it is August and not December, you have to give me a present."
She squealed, and said, "No waaaaaaaaaaaay"
Her father, she, and I all laughed. I'm glad that this white beard can come in handy for something other than just growing old with!
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I try to treat all people equal, I really do, but sometimes, this is hard, like in the case of a woman who walks into the coffee shop who I think is attractive. Stuttering, and stammering is not treating her equal.
I get a lot of requests at the coffee counter for water, especially in the summer. I suppose that I could give attitude to these people or even say no because they are putting no money in the register and no money in my tip jar. But why? I often ask for what when I'm out and isn't it that what goes around comes around. Frazzled homeless guys, with huge backpacks, and weary looks in their eyes should receive the same love that georgeous woman who I would like to date receives, in my humble opinion.
It is when someone starts acting out, or acting up that I change my all people are equal behavior to them, and, sometimes, the homeless guy turns out to be way more polite than the gal that caught my eye.
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I learned from the last kid, how little time a kid will spend with me, once they become a teenager. It seemed almost instantaneous that when my son became a teenager that he disappeared from my life, other than for momentary pitstops,
and the necessary sleep overs, that is him sleeping over at the house where he allegedly lived.
Scout is doing the same thing, now; she called me when she got out of school to say that she was going to the grocery store with some friends, and then she was stopping by my house, and then they were going to the park to have a picnic. She was here long enough to change clothes.
The thing is
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I like drugs I don't like the consequences of using them, though
If one pill makes you feel good, then two pills ought to make you feel twice as good. I know that that this is twisted logic, but I find myself thinking it, often,
now that I have arthritis, and take medicine for it.
I am not good with pain, and this arthritis thing that I have been inflicted with has brought a great deal of pain to my table, or to my left hip specifically, and mostly. The doctor said that hip replacement surgery "was imminent," the last time that I was in his office. "You need to lose weight," he also said. I don't know how it happened, but since I quit drinking, I ballooned up to almost 300 pounds.
My weight is responsible for my arthritis, and for my diabetes. Being a large man is not good for the quality of your existence, and it robs you of years that you could have been hugging, and hanging out with the great-grandkids.
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I was having a chat with a friend about the old days. He was saying how booze just warmed him up for drugs, which is where he felt most happy, high, and I was telling him how I had done all the drugs, or most of them, but that booze was my drug of choice. I like pot, speed, LSD, cocaine, mescaline and mushrooms.
Can I feel my dog's pain?
A wasp somehow found its way into this home. I thought about letting it live, you know a karma-like action where all living things have an equal right to life, but then I thought about the wasp stinging me in the middle of the night, in my bed, and that was it: I nailed the wasp with a fly swatter, and sent it hurling into the wall, where it then fell onto the floor near where my dog Bundy hangs out all the time, and I wondered if the thing lived if it would sting Bundy, and then I started thinking about the pain that Bundy would be in, and realized that no matter how much I might want to, I could not feel Bundy's pain if he was unfortunate enough to get stung by wasp, if he had had lived.
This is probably stupid thinking to have going on in my brain. I mean, certainly, such thought is not going to pay any rent, nor put any groceries in the refrigerator for me. Such thought is not going to create even a penny towards the expensive dog food that I feed my dogs. I am tired though; that is my excuse. My faculties are not fully functioning, and I am susceptible to some lower level thinking.
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Your dog pissed on my shoe
Somehow, five of the little soft cat treats that I reward my cats my cats with for doing absolutely nothing out of the ordinary, came out of the bottle, onto my hand, and then onto the floor. I looked down at them, and thought for a second if the cat would be ok eating three more treats than he is usually allotted. Sure, I said to myself, he will not eat more than he is capable of.
Well, a minute ago I heard that cat making alien noises, and I looked over to see the cat puking on the kitchen floor. No more than two treats, I have learned the hard way, for I am going to have to clean that cat puke off the floor.
I had another sill to clean up, earlier in the evening. Bundy was so excited to see a friend of mine, who had dropped by to share some pizza with me, that he peed not only on the carpet, but he peed on one of my friend's shoes.
"I can't believe it," she kept saying, "I really can't believe it. Your dog pissed on my shoe."
Morisson gets to the cat puke before I do. He eats most of it, while I am in the bathroom, but doesn't get to lick it all off the floor because he is scared of getting caught. Morisson knows that I don't like my dogs eating cat puke, any more than I like them eating cat poop, but he is a dog, and it is hard for him to resist a little snack like regurgitated soft cat treats. I don't bother scolding him. The secret lies with me: don't overfeed cat treats to the cat. It produces a weird chain reaction
that is not acceptable. It is simple not acceptable.
Morisson has some weird behaviors, for one he is very needy, and will attach himself to anyone who comes to visit. I really think that if someone broke into the house while Morisson was home that he would fix them a cup of coffee, and help carry out the television to the crook's car. I really do. Morisson is also very scared of storms. When thunder and lightening arrive, Morrisson starts breathing very intensely like he is having a panic attack. If I am puttering about the abode, Morisson will glue himself to me, and walk every inch of the way that I walk about the house. If I am sleeping, Morisson will stand next to the bed and pant so intently, and loudly that I will let him up on the bed. Once on the bed he rolls over to me, getting as close as he can. I think that it is funny how he sees me as his savior from the storm.
(The skies are making noise, and Morisson is scared; he follows me everywhere I go, and when I sit down, he curls in the fetal position at my feet. Morisson does not like storms, they give him severe panic attacks. Morisson, baby, it's going to be o.k. Daddy loves you, and, yes, you can sleep on the bed tonight, but only tonight.)
Morisson came to me as a runaway. Some folks who lived in the same apartment complex as I had run across him, as he had been running about a neighborhood not too far from mine. They were looking for a home for him, and a guy who I knew, knew that I would take Morisson. At the time, I had two dogs. I said no, and then I looked at the dog, again. He so incredibly beautiful that I could not turn him down. Morisson ran away from me around fifteen times, one time even jumping out of the car as we were nearing home.
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I don't much remember my dreams. I have them, fairly often, but when I wake up in the morning, they are not with me. When I was a little kid, I didn't want to be
a fireman, or a cop. I think, briefly, I thought that I wanted to be a professional basketball player, but I never really believed that I would be good enough. I never believed that I would be good enough for anything, and yet I had this supreme confidence that I had it all going on, that it would all work out.
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I don't remember my first boner; am I supposed to? I do remember my mother finding my collection of pictures of women with no clothes on, that I had stashed in a bottom drawer of one of the bureaus in my bedroom. Now what the hell was my mother looking around for naked girl pictures?
Gosh, she was pissed.
Here she and my father had paid for Catholic school for five years, with no immoral incidents, and I get to public school, and within months, I have degenerated into the type of child who finds it necessary to bring pictures of unclothed women into her home.
I remember thinking that I couldn't see the big deal. Other kids that I hung around with had such collections, also. I was twelve, and was curious about the opposite sex. Put me on a cross and crucify me; please.
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PART 3
There was a time in my life when I was as destructive as I was creative. I can see the roots of this, and if I was still into blaming other people and things outside of myself for things that I do, and things that I have done
I could see the roots of this, and point to these roots and say, yes, this is why I did what I did. But, I did what I did because of who I am, and I accept full responsibility for it, all of it; it is a part of who I am, and was. I am lucky not to have died during that period of my life, or worse, have killed someone else.
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These are times when we especially have to be happy for what we have. So many people are living with so much less than they have lived with. Less jobs, less houses, less cars.
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Elongated boxes that commissioned sales people sold to your crying loved one playing on their guilt: the deceased was really into Van Halen, weren't they? Don't you think that you should put a radio in their casket, and tune it to an FM Classic Rock Station? That will keep the deceased happy… supplied with Dave and Sammy for life.
It seems kind of stupid to you, and a waste of money, but the salesperson is convincing, talking about the spirit world, and how our soul carries on, as if our soul is going to carry on in that little box that he has just sold your wife or husband, or gay lover, whatever the situation may be, because we should all realize by now that there are a lot of situations outside of, "The Leave It To Beaver" set up.
Ted Kennedy just got caught sneaking out of Purgatory. He told the angel who caught him that Kennedys have a deal with God where they go straight to heaven no matter what they did on Earth.
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Dude; Quaalude?
Many of us who survived the '70's have Quaalude stories to tell. Someone just told me that it took nine of them to kill Jimi Hendrix. Some people would take half of one and pass out. I only took one in my life. I had met this girl the sunny Southern town of Orlando, where I had wandered with my tails between my legs from Tallahassee, the non-graduate looking for a job, fully willing to represent to potential employers that he had the degree. This girl and I were in her hotel room, doing the wild thing. I woke up the next morning, and the young lady was giving me the evil eye, she was giving me dirty looks, she was looking at me like I was a piece of dog turd on the bottom of her high heels.
"What?" I said.
"You fell asleep on top of me while we were making love."
Oops.
I didn't know what to say. I was over six feet tall, and she was about four eleven.
"Sorry," was what I tried.
That mellowed her a bit.
I was never around Quaaludes again, and I can't say that I regret that. I have always taken my love making very seriously.
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Man of excesses
You stop one thing, among other reasons, because you know that it is going to kill you, and then another thing shows up that you have to get control of, or it is going to kill you. I got tired of waking up covered in blood, and puke, in jail cells. I knew that such a path was leading to some serious trouble; one of the real possibilities of which was my death. I also wanted to be a father to my second son, not some sort of ludicrous drunken figure waltzing in every once in awhile when he wasn't in Club Land trying to be some sort of a combination of Axl Rose, Mick Jaggar, and Jim Morrisson.
So, I had like five years sober, no booze no drugs, and I realized that I was coughing a lot, and that I was reaching for a cigarette the first thing in the morning, no matter what time morning came, and no matter whether I wanted a cigarette or not.
It was a habit, and it was a habit that I realized was killing me. I hacked the nasty bronchitis cough all the time. phlegm in my throat my constant companion. I knew that emphysema was next. I had to quit. I just had to fucking quit. I had tried before and had failed, but I had never quit while I was sober. Since I had quit drinking, I knew that I was capable of quitting something that was bad for me, and that meant that I could quit cigarettes.
I wish that I could say that I made it the first time I tried with all this new resolve, but I didn't. I think I tried five or six times before I made it, but each time I tried I learned something that was contributed to the final victory.
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"We want the world, and we want it now…"--James Douglass Morrison
From the Door's song, "When the music's over."
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I wonder if ants have the right to life. I feed a cat named Monkey, who lives outside my house, and around the neighborhood, and I was just passing by his bowl, and it was full of ants. My first thought was to get some water, and wipe
the ants out of existence; how dare they foul Monkey's bowl, and then I thought, are they really hurting anything, running about in the bowl feeding on the microscopic left overs that Monkey didn't have for breakfast. I am not sure of
the answer to this question, but I went through the same frame of mind when it came to the carpenter bees that the dogs, and I, found ourselves cohabiting our front porch with in the spring. I thought of calling the landlord, and asking him to call the terminator man, but then I realized that that the bees, the dogs, and I had been successfully sharing the porch for weeks, so why should I get greedy, or act on some weir fear that had no basis. The carpenter ants were doing nothing bad to either me or my dogs; in fact I had gotten used to their constant buzzing, and had come to find it therapeutic to some extent. One of the bees always hovered by the front door entrance to the patio; I referred to him as Ed, and told people who stopped by that he was our doorman. I look forward to seeing the bees, next spring, but I am not sure what I am going to do about the ants if they are lurking
in Monkey's bowl in the morning when I come out to deposit her morning meal in the bowl.
-------------------------------------
Mikel K Poet August 4 at 10:18am
The pain on the side where Dr. Koch said that a, "hip replacement was imminent," is near constant: in bed, at my desk, walking, on my bike. The pill that I am taking is naproxen 500 MG twice a day. Is there something more effective for the pain?
Also, what were the names of the drugs that you said could replace the risperdal and not be so fat inducing? I take 0.5 one tablet in the morning and two of those at night.
Thank you for you help.
K
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My parents wanted me to be a straight A kid, but I didn't have it in me. I was just a bit lazy, and couldn't close the deal so my grades hovered in the middle of B's and A's, for the most part. I try to do the best that I can, in most everything that I do. There have been things that I have been slack at, like some jobs where I thought that the boss man thought I was his slave. I spent a lot of time at the water fountain, and in the bathroom at those kind of jobs.
Is it a good thing to put pressure on your kid to succeed, to be top of his class?
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Hey!
I'm sorry we missed each other today. I went from the "big house" home and then to Caribou! I missed our time together today, I will have to come by for a visit sometime soon, maybe do some "porch sittin'".
I really appreciate all the listening and sharing that you did, you can't imagine all the good I have gotten from knowing you.
lulu,
Some mornings I have hot tea with milk instead of coffee.
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what i have been thru the past two weeks would kill anyone. and i just might be dead.
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"That which doesn't kill us only makes us grow stronger," and "It is always darkest before the dawn," and, "Something good always comes out of something bad; often you have to look for it." These little sayings have helped me through very troubling times in my life. I wish they could do the same for you.
Also," Lord, thy will be done not mine, thy will be not mine, guide me in thought, word, and action, Lord," help me, also
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Me: I think that the devil is a concept meant to keep men and women in order.
I believe more in free choice, than some sort of inherent evil, or evil being lurking in us
Her: Ha. Do you have a girlfriend? I'm nosy.
Me: Speaking of The Devil…no, I don't, will you be my girlfriend?
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serial killers smile at you to get you in the car…
Ted Bundy killed a friend of mine. I was one of the last people to see her alive.
--------------------------------
I'm a poet. Did I tell you that. Right now, I'm writing about 300 poems a month.
I've written 10,000 poems in the last three years. Do you like poetry? There isn't much money it. When you tell the parents of a girl that you are dating, or who you want to date that you are a poet, they look at you as if you had just told them that you have aids. When you are out of earshot they get sarcastic with the young lady who you are seeing, their daughter, and say things like, "Does he make a lot of money doing that?" and, "How much money did he get for the last poem that he wrote?"
I'm really not bitter about this. Parents want what is best for their daughters for the most part. Of course they are, sometimes, misguided too. Whose to say that a broke poet won't treat their daughter better than a millionaire?!
I used to be bitter about it though, and I developed a policy of not interacting with the young lady's parents. It's probably a good policy until I sell as many poetry books as Billy Collins and Charles Bukowski.
---------------------------------------------
I opened the drawer where I keep the cat treats, and Kobain came running. I also keep my silverware in that drawer, so Kobain knows that when the silverware rattles the he might be able to get a treat. The cat is sitting under the drawer, and next to the trashcan. I have just emptied a cake packet into a bowl to mix. I have the supposedly empty package in my hands. I throw it in the trashcan, and a cloud of fine chocolate dust rains down on Kobain. He didn't expect that, and neither did I. He runs off. I'll have to give him two treats next time.
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A cake with a sugar substitute in it, does not taste as good as a cake with sugar, and eggs, and milk or water. It really doesn't. It is dry and tasteless, but as a diabetic, I try every little trick in the book that I can come up with to keep from going over the edge.
One toke over the line, sweet Jesus, one toke over the line
Sittin' downtown in a railway station, one toke over the line
Waitin' for the train that goes home, sweet Mary
Hoping that the train is on time
Sittin' downtown in a railway station, one toke over the line
They didn't say one "token" over the line, but when I was a kid and this song came out, I didn't yet know what a "toke" was. I thought that Brewer and Shipley in their song, "One Toke Over the Line," were talking about stress, and I related to the song for that reason. I was stressed in school. I was stressed in sports. My parents were stressing me out about nearly everything.
I also like the harmonies in this song. I like the way the two men sang together. It was cool. It created an infectious groove that I dug.
Who do you love, I hope it's me
I've been changing, as you can plainly see
I felt the joy and I learned about the pain that my mama said
If I should choose to make it part of me
Would surely strike me dead, and now I'm
Love? Did I know anything about love when this song came out? I was beginning to be aware of the girls in my school in a different way than I had before. I was relating to them differently, but "Love?" I think not.
In second grade there was a cute little blonde girl who sat in front of me. Somehow, we started playing footsies. She would read her feet back, and I would reach my feet forward and there we were. One day I rode my bike over to her house, and we hung out. I guess that was my first date. It would be seven years before I went on my next one, in the ninth grade, and that would not go as well as the one I had with the cute little blonde girl in the second grade; funny how that goes.
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I'm not sure where I am with this book. Are you following me. Am I running around too much, going backwards, and forwards, and then sideways without meaning? I hope not.
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George Harrison lives through You Tube. "Here comes the sun," he sings at 3 a.m. to me, here in Atlanta, Georgia. I feel lucky to be alive; to be alive and listening to Mr. Harrison sing about the sun is a good thing. George Harrison always calms me. George Harrison always makes me feel good about living. George Harrison always makes me feel good about life.
"Here Comes the Sun" was written at the time when Apple was getting like school, where we had to go and be businessmen: 'Sign this' and 'sign that'. Anyway, it seems as if winter in England goes on forever, by the time spring comes you really deserve it. So one day I decided I was going to sag off Apple and I went over to Eric Clapton's house. The relief of not having to go see all those dopey accountants was wonderful, and I walked around the garden with one of Eric's acoustic guitars and wrote "Here Comes The Sun".
--Wikipedia
I think that it is beautiful that Harrison was able to reach inside of himself and come up with such a beautiful song, one that is inspiring and full of light, when his life was a bit dark at the time. I think that we all have this ability. It is like when someone asks me how I am doing.
If I say that I am not doing well, then that sets up a vicious cycle whereby I will not feel good. I will, in effect, "not be doing well," because I set myself up to feel that way, and act in such a manner.
But, if I say that I am doing good, I set up a positive cycle. "Here Comes The Sun," sets up a positive cycle, and I really admire that. I admire Harrison's ability to write about the good in life, even when he is not feeling all that good.
Here comes the sun (du dn du du)
Here comes the sun
Its alright
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In my search for love as a person, and in my search for inspiration as a poet, I opened a chat room on AOL called, "Poet Seeks Muse." I met some really wonderful people through this room, and I found love, and I found inspiration.
Poet Seeks Muse…
OnlineHost: *** You are in "Romance - Poet Seeks Muse". ***
SweetOne has entered the room.
SweetOne: hello Mikel
SweetOne: I do hope you find your Muse...have a good evening
SweetOne: most times our Muse is Life...and sometimes the heart of a perfect stranger
SweetOne: take care
OnlineHost: SweetOne has left the room.
WindnWater: can you hear the stars shine tonight?
WindnWater: you have a way of sharing yourself forever ;)
WindnWater: keep smiling love
Have you ever noticed that although email providers on the internet provide a button that you can push that says, "Spam," that your Spam Mail never goes away; it keeps coming back, and back. What's up with that?
I have this circular fan that I keep by my desk in the summer. It blows cool air that keeps me comfortable in the heat. A few minutes ago, I turned the fan off the first time in months; it was making me cold. Summer is leaving us; soon her heat will be replaced by cold.
As soon as I sat down in my chair at my desk, this morning, my dog Morisson stuck his nose in my hand. He was trying to pull my hand off of the chair, and get me to show him affection. I toyed with him, this morning, fighting his nose with my hand, refusing to give into his wants. It is a game we play, and he likes it, almost as much as he likes my hand rubbing his head, and body.
Without the fan, I don't have the white noise that I have had for months, and I can hear just about everything that my neighbors are doing. I will turn the fan back on, just point it in a different direction. It is not my desire to know what my neighbors are up to.
It is a Sunday morning, and it is raining outside. Whenever it rains, I want to play the song, "Riders On The Storm," by The Doors. The introduction to the song, seems, somehow, appropriate to the weather. There are a lot of people in church this morning. I have not gone to church since I was nineteen. I had the thought, that God sent this Sunday morning rain to cleanse the world. This rain would be a start over rain. We would all have a fresh slate, without having to go in a booth, kneel down, and tell someone what we have done that that man and his religion would find inappropriate.
Do all religions have confessor mechanisms? I will have to Google it, and find out.
---------------------------------------------
The dogs are not interested in ice cubes, today,
Morisson because there is a storm outside,
and Bundy because I don't know why.
The dogs usually love ice cubes, they catch them
in mid air and treat them as if they were any other
snack.
They bite them, they chew chem, they finish them
and come back for another one; normally.
Maybe Bundy is not interested in ice this morning
because Morisson is not interested in ice this morning.
Sometimes, two dogs act as one, somewhat, I have learned.
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This guy sent me a video. In it he took a sip from a glass of something, and grimaced, "Bourbon," he said. And, then, he said something to the extent of, "We're back together after five months sober, a period of irreparable harm." I have never heard a drunk call a period of sobriety something like that. I have heard drunks say that it was hard as hell to stay sober for that long. I have heard a drunk say he was thankful for staying sober that long. I have heard a drunk say that he relapsed after a period that long, but I have never heard of any length of sobriety referred to as a "period of irreparable harm."
The "irreparable harm," usually comes after the relapse, after the period of sobriety, when the drunk has started drinking, again. Maybe this guy is blazing new trails, and will come out with The Bigger Book.
Go figure; you run into something new, just about every day.
-----------------------------------------------
In a comment to this young lady's Face Book, this guy said that he could really us some more bikini pictures. I almost wrote on there that I could use some bikini pictures, myself, but really that would do me no good. Like Bruce Springsteen said in one of his songs, " I just want someone to talk to. And a little of that Human Touch." I don't want pictures of you in a bikini.
You and me we were the pretenders
We let it all slip away
In the end what you don't surrender
Well the world just strips away
Girl, ain't no kindness in the face of strangers
Ain't gonna find no miracles here
Well you can wait on your blesses my darlin'
But I got a deal for you right here
I ain't lookin' for praise or pity
I ain't comin' 'round searchin' for a crutch
I just want someone to talk to
And a little of that Human Touch
Just a little of that Human Touch
Ain't no mercy on the streets of this town
Ain't no bread from heavenly skies
Ain't nobody drawin' wine from this blood
It's just you and me tonight
Tell me, in a world without pity
Do you think what I'm askin's too much
I just want something to hold on to
And a little of that Human Touch
Just a little of that Human Touch
We get less and less human touch these days. We have email, instant messages, cell phones, text messages on our phones, all kinds of communication devices that don't really bring us closer together. How many times have you seen people in a bookstore, or a coffee shop, or a grocery store standing right next to each other, and both of them are on a cell phone? It is a weird statement about the status of interpersonal communication in our world, today. Now excuse me, I have to check my email.
---------------------
I busted out a sweater, a pair of sweat pants, and a pair of full length socks, this morning. It has gotten cold, here in Atlanta, Ga. Last year I turned on the heater, when it got cold, and the bill was unbearable. This year I'm going to go with warm clothing, and space heaters, and see how that suits the animals and I.
I opened one of the twenty nine cent wet cat food cans, this morning. The cats did not miss a beat in chowing down, once I placed their bowls on the floor, so I feel safe to say that they see no difference between the cheap kind, and the expensive kind of canned cat food. It is not their main meal, the little scoop of wet cat food in the morning is just a treat. I keep a bowl of high quality dry cat food on top of the drier at the end of the hall that leads to the bathroom. It is hidden behind a big jug of liquid clothes detergent, the kind that is supposed to be better for the environment. I had to put the jug in front of the cats' dry food because, of course, Bundy was getting up on his front legs and helping himself to hefty portions of it.
Bundy, and Morisson, were also both helping themselves to ample amounts of cat poop, when we first moved into this apartment. I wasn't particulary concerned about it, besides feeling rather grossed out, until someone told me that the dogs could get really sick from eating cat poop, and that it would lead to expensive operations for me. I really want to stay away from all of that, my dogs getting sick, and my dogs costing me big money.
I put a storage container over the cat litter box, and cut a hole in it small enough for the cats to get in and out of, but too small for the dogs to stick their nose in. I also put the fear of God in the dogs anytime that they wandered near the bathroom. I think that the combination of the two methods has worked. I don't need no cat poop eating dogs in my house.
When you have duo animals, as I do, two dogs, two cats, and two turtles, you sometimes worry if one animal is eating more than the other, if one animal is getting starved out any. Sometimes, I will find Bundy in Morisson's bowl, and I will yell over at him, "Hey, Bundy get out of there, that's not yours."
On the other hand, Morisson will, sometimes, sneak in the closet where Bundy's food is kept,
and eat Bundy's leftovers. The same goes for my cats, Kobain, and Jaggar. These two will go back and forth from each other's bowl in the morning, freely eating from both bowls. I guess that the dogs and cats know what they are doing, as do the turtles, who I particularly worry about, sometimes, because one turtle, Rue Paul, the female, is way larger than the other, Prynce, the male.
I guess that the process is like humans eating together. A male and a femlel living in happy matrimony, or a couple gleefully living in sin, figure out how to eat together don't they? I have never heard of a reason for divorce to be he or she ate more than me!!
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I woke up hungry this morning, but first I wanted to check my blood. Most mornings I prick my finger with this device that looks like a small pen, and then I drop some blood onto a little strip of paper, that I have already placed inside this meter that will give me a reading.
This morning, my reading was 105, which is good, especially realizing that I have not been doing any exercise, recently. I have not been swimming. I have not been to Yoga. I have not walked the dogs, or ridden my bicycle outside of the short distance that it takes to get to work. I ride the bike to work, when I work, because it is far easier on my body to ride a bike, these days, due to my arthritis, than it is to walk.
Arthritis and diabetes are the two gifts that God, and my parents gave me. I really don't say this cynically; I am trying to reach out and have an attitude of gratitude in the face of adversity. The diabetes should cause me to eat right, and exercise because I know that if I don't I could lose my legs, and die.
The arthritis is a bitch though.
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I give you a poem
in lieu of a mortgage payment.
I give you a poem
instead of a new car.
I give you a poem
instead of vacations
to lands near and far.
I give you a poem
instead of fancy dinners.
that my poem will feed you.
I can not promise that
I will need you more than
I need my poems.
I cannot promise you anything
but another poem.
--Mikel K
That's the thing about being a poet, at least at my level of the game. You don't have a lot besides the poem to offer.
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There are two chores in this home that I particularly procrastinate on: changing the kitty litter, and changing the turtles' water, and neither one of them is that much of a chore, once you get down to it. With the turtles' water, I have to get the water our, clean out the aquarium and the stones that line its bottom, and then fill the aquarium with clean water. Changing the kitty litter is, usually, just a matter of dumping out the old litter, and adding new litter, if I have done my jog right in lining the kitty container with newspaper.
------------------------------------------
Some thoughts become ideas, and some ideas become poems.
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I'm sittin' in my room, I'm starin' out my window
And I wonder where you've gone
Thinking back on the happy hours just before the dawn
Outside the wind is blowin
It seems to call your name again
Where have you gone
City streets and lonely highways
I travel down
My car is empty and the radio just seems to bring me down
Im just tryin to find me
A pretty smile that I can get into
Its true, Im lost without you
I used to love The Doobie Brothers, and this was my favorite song by them.
"Another Park Another Sunday," is one of those great broken heart songs, that I didn't immediately recognize as a broken heart song, because it seems to me to have bits of optimism in it.
I'm just trying to find me
A pretty smile that I can get into
Tom Johnston hasn't been kicked in the balls. He is down, but he is not out.
I'm not in love, so don't forget it
It's just a silly phase I'm going through
And just because I call you up
Don't get me wrong, don't think you've got it made
I'm not in love, no-no
(It's because...)
I like to see you, but then again
That doesn't mean you mean that much to me
So if I call you, don't make a fuss
Don't tell your friends about the two of us
I'm not in love, no-no
(It's because...)
(Be quiet, big boys don't cry)
(Big boys don't cry)
I found a picture of you, oh oh oh oh
What hijacked my world that night
To a place in the past
We've been cast out of? oh oh oh oh
Now were back in the fight
Were back on the train
Oh, back on the chain gang
I never made it to the chain gang; thankfully.
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I love it, in the morning, when the cats are sitting dutifully next to each other, sitting at attention next to their empty food bowls, waiting for me to scoop the bows up, and put some morning wet food snack in the bowls for them. There is
something beautiful in this, something that makes me feel wanted, and loved.
The dogs always gather around the hand of mine that seems to be dangling off of the bed, when I wake in the morning. They expect to be petted, and played with while I am still semi-asleep. Most mornings, I honor their request. I make one hand pet two dog heads, and it makes them happy. This morning, though I woke with one foot dangling off of the bed. The dogs did not care that my foot was not a hand. They rubbed their heads into it anyway. I found this weird.
I learned a new thing about Monkey, the basically straw cat, who I feed breakfast every morning, and snacks every evening. Monkey does not come get his food when I blow kisses, as I had thought; Monkey comes running to our door the minute that I come out of our inner door. She hears that door open, and that is her cue that something good is about to be put in her bowl.
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Don't leave eggs boiling while you go off to take a nap. The smell of the burning eggs, and the cracking of their shells in the bowl thankfully woke me before the oven caught on fire. Besides that, burnt eggs are not tasty.
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Wordmanmikelk : How are you today?
RedHiHeels: Good
RedHiHeels: What are u looking for
Wordmanmikelk: Love
Wordmanmikelk : What have you got?
RedHiHeels: Oh thought u wanted something else
RedHiHeels: my body online
Wordmanmikelk: You're a porn site?
RedHiHeels: What do u mean
Wordmanmikelk: You said your body online.
Wordmanmikelk: What do you mean?
RedHiHeels: Oh well I thought that you were using your imagination
Wordmanmikelk: I am
RedHiHeels: Well I am good with words
Wordmanmikelk: I can tell
RedHiHeels: Now how can you be so certain
Wordmanmikelk: You just know certain things
BlackHiHeels34 [5:54 P.M.]: Yes I'm sure that's true; why did you IM me?
Wordmanmikelk [5:54 P.M.]: Because you IM'd me, yesterday
BlackHiHeels34 [5:54 P.M.]: I don't recall the room
Wordmanmikelk [5:54 P.M.]: Literary Endeavors
BlackHiHeels34 [5:54 P.M.]: oh yeah
Wordmanmikelk [5:56 P.M.]: Well, have a nice afternoon
RedHiHeels signed off at 5:59 P.M
What was she after. Did she find it. People exist in a parallel universe when they are in cyberspace, when they are in chat rooms, when they ar in instant message conversations. For some, reality stops, and I don' t just mean for those who are into role playing.
Perhaps, I am not much different. When I firt
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It is a very good cup of coffee that I take a sip of, this morning, at 4:14 a.m. I can't sleep, and have been unable to sleep for the past couple of hours. My left leg has been bothering me, and the pain of it, in combination, I believe with this new pill that I am on have served to send me into the kitchen to make a cup of coffee, and have sent me to this desk to write. The leg doesn't hurt, now that I have gotten it in a different position. My arthritis is like that. I have to baby it. I have to pamper it, at times to get the least pain out of it.
The new pill that I am on…
--------------------------------
They have until the fifth of the month
to remove the things that you called yours
from the little box that you called home.
That gives those who loved you seventeen days
to remove your material things.
What will they keep what will they throw away?
You are in a new box, now, they slowly
descended it into the ground, yesterday,
and you are on your way to wherever it
is that you are going, most likely no worries,
about the people and things you left behind.
--Mikel K
One of my dearest friends, one of the men who I respect the most on thsi planet, both as a human being, and as an artist, is going to die. His wife broke the news to me yesterday, after reading the above poem that I wrote. I cannot remember what motivated me to write the poem, but I see now the reason for it. It was a conduit to my great friend, Clark Vreeland, and I, via his wife Beth. If I had not written this poem, I might not have found out about Clark's cancer until a much later stage of it. Clark is a private person. We do not see each other a lot. I do not know if I will start seeing him a lot, now. I am unsure how to react to this news. I feel helpless. I love this man, and I am losing him. The earth is losing him.
I went to visit my grandson, last night, and a neat side benefit of seeing young Elliot is that I get to see most of the rest of my family also.
Elliot's grandmother, G2, was there full of love, not only for her grandson, but also for me her ex,-live in sin, and Kevin her ex-husband. She sounded very happy, and optimistic when she said that she was going to find a cure for my arthritis, and for Kevin's cluster headaches.
Cluster headaches require miracles that have not yet been sent from Heaven to be abated when one is unemployed and does not have insurance. The matter is further complicated because now that he has lost his job, when he gets a new one and gets new insurance, his headaches will be looked upon as a pre-existing
condition.
Ain't life unkind.
I don't know if there is a cure for my arthritis. Hip replacement surgery would help the pain in that are of my body, but I don't know if my insurance would cove it.
Little Elliot was not worried about any of this, though. He was very happy to pull on my white beard, when he was handed to me for my time with him. I tickled his feet, made him laugh , and he made me laugh just by being with me bouncing on my lap.
There are amazing gifts that enter into your life, that you neither ask for, nor expect. Becoming a grandfather was one of those gifts.
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My left hip is giving me a great deal of pain, this morning. Though I try to ignore it, the pain overrides everything. It overrides the writing that I am trying to do. It overrides the hot tea that I am thinking about making. It overrides the pleasant thoughts that I am having about a visit that my family and I had to see my grandson, last night. The pain overrides everything.
The new pill, abilify, makes me hyper, where the old pill, risperidone, calmed me down. I changed pills because abilify is supposed to make me retain less weight than risperidone, and I am concerned about every pound that I carry due to my arthritis, and diabetes. It is funny how a pill can affect your mood. Several weeks ago, when I was on the risperidone, I ran out of it for several days and my old angry, depressed mood returned to me, right away. These were moods that I had lived with for years, before I got help.
------------------------
I had the worst dream, last night. In it someone had called the police and was going to have me arrested. I had not been arrested in almost 20 years.
I hit someone in a dream last night, and they called the police. For most of the dream, I waited for the police, knowing that I had done wrong, but trying to talk
the guy who I hit out of having me arrested. He wasn't having it. I had done wrong, and he loved having the power over me that he now had. It took me a long time to learn that you can't hit people, that you will be locked up for doing such.
As a kid, I was taught by my father to hit people, to settle differences between them and me. Garbage in. Gargage out.
------------------------------------------------
Sometimes I wish I could get high and just slide into another head seat for a couple hours and write there. Sometimes what I am doing straight up just seems so boring. Come to think of it, though, when I was getting high, I never produced
even one poem. Getting high was getting high, and writing is writing. For me, the two don't mingle. I was told by "them" that getting high would send me back to my drug of choice, which is alcohol, and I believe this. I would not be happy just getting high; I would have to get fucked up and ruin my life, once again. I am sure that this would happen, like I am sure that if I stepped off a very high cliff that I would fall to my death.
A very good friend of mine is dieing. He has inoperable liver cancer. It is funny how you feel sorry for yourself when someone you love is dieing. You think about all the pain that you are going through, and all the pain that you will go through, as the person goes through what they must go through to leave this earth. You don't much think about the pain that they are going through, and the pain that they will be going through. Their impending death is all about you, or, at least all about me, in the case of my good friend, and musical partner Clark Vreeland.
It is Labor Day Weekend. I just posted this headline to my Face Book page:
We're not as good looking as our Face Book Head Shots; at least I'm not: take that out to your Labor Day Weekend with you. Someone asked me what I'm doing this weekend...nothing, absolutely nothing, like I always do, and I like it that way. I hate having something to do. Billy Fields aka Rev Reb will be glad to know that I just cleaned the turtles's tank. The turtles are glad, also.
NYCbabe929228 [5:31 P.M.]: Want to meet someone online? Don't sit around on the computer! Get laid this weekend @ http://lnk.bz/1dc
I spend too much time on Face Book, just like I used to spend too much time on My Space until Rupert kicked me off. I was one of those kids who liked to get his name in the school paper, one of those kids who liked to get other kids to sign his year book. Face Book is perfect for social net workers like me. It also works for me as a poet, because it gives me a place to post my poems, and people to read them. I'm writing about between 200 and 300 poems a month, and I attribute that to the "live" audience that I know that I am writing to on Face Book. I enjoy the comments that I get from people, some of them halfway around the world. Their comments are not my reason to write, but certainly the fact that I know that they are reading them gives the whole process a kick in the butt. Writing can be a lonely occupation. People reaching out to you, and saying, yes, this is good stuff, makes it less lonely, though it is still just the laptop and I alone in a room cranking it out.
With God On Our Side," is a Bob Dylan that makes a great deal of sense to me.
And the land that I live in
Has God on its side.
I love The United States of America. I was born here, and I will most likely die here,
but there are some inconsistencies in the truths that we were taught, that Dylan was especially good at pointing out in the 1960's.
And the names of the heroes
I's made to memorize
With guns on their hands
And God on their side.
I was chatting with a woman online, and we were talking about Jim Morrison but I had moved to Dylan on the player.I can listen to some Dylan and it makes me high like The Doors can, take me to some place that drugs and alcohol were supposed to.
Dylan can make me sick, too.
I guess when you kick the songs out as long as he has been kicking him out
that a few along the way are not going please everybody. For my money, The Stones have a much better track record in keeping the hits rolling, though I know that some people will say that it is only the early work of The Stones that matters.
That's how I feel about The Boss. I feel like his creativity basically came to a roaring halt with the song, "Born To Run." The music he made after this might have made him a Superstar, and made him millions, but for me, it is the songs before, and including Born To Run, that made him A Poet. Anyway, who cares what I think, right?
I was unable to keep up with two credit cards, recently. Soon after I missed several payments, I started receiving five to ten phone calls a day from these fine, fine institutions, and, or the fine fine collection agencies who they had sold my debt to. At first, I got pissed off, but then I realized that getting pissed off was useless, and was not going to make these people go away, and neither would talking to them because I did not have a dime to give them.
Most of their numbers started with 888 or 1-8oo, and I decided that the best thing that I could do was to change all their numbers to say, "patience." I did that, and, now, I just smile when they call, and think to myself, "Oh, yes…patience."
By the way, I am up to Patience 15, meaning that I have received calls from 15 different numbers trying to collect on 2 credit cards.
Like I've told you, I'm a poet, so, I guess, that I should share some of my poems with you. These are a couple of my favorites, that I find work well together, both
on the page, and when I read them out.
I Need A Rich Girl
I need a rich girl
to drive my deceased car
to the unemployment line,
so that I can get food stamps,
and avoid a job.
I need a pill that will fill me up,
not with envy.
I need a pill that will make me
feel friendly, not want to kill
I need a friend
in these united states of isolation,
where even hell's angels are afraid
to hitchhike,
where thinking outside the norm
could land you in jail.
I need a reason to go on living,
and I think that my children will do.
We Are The Children
We are the children of the sun
and the stars.
We are the children of the hippies,
who were strung out on peace and love,
and heroin when they conceived us.
We are the children of alcoholics,
conceived in blackouts.
We are the children of the punk rockers,
screwed into this world on beer and anger.
We are the children of the poor,
raised on welfare and food stamps,
and government housing.
We are the children of the middle class,
borrowing from the government to get a college degree,
to get a job with a pension from corporate amerika,
who has already fired our fathers and mothers,
before they could retire.
We are the children of the rich,
who, like our fathers and mothers before us,
care only about obtaining more wealth.
We are the children of the doctors, dentists,
and lawyers, who care more about their Porsches
and Mercedes than they do their patients.
We are the children of the American dream,
roaming the streets with a blanket,
and a garbage bag full of aluminum cans.
We are the children, who now have the children,
and we hope they won't learn racism from us,
like we learned it from our moms and dads.
We are the children who can change the inevitable,
alter our destiny, change the future from futile to
fruitful.
Amen.
PART 4
I hate getting junk mail, and, recently, that is all that I have gotten. I guess that I am a loser. And I mean that I am a loser in The U.S. Mail and I am a loser in my email. All I get in my email are sex propositions from porn sites, and dating services, both of which are looking for money from me. In The U.S. Mail, I only receive ominous looking envelopes filled with threatening correspondence from collection agencies. What a drag. I wish there were some babes in Europe dropping me a line, saying what a great poet I was, how if they lived closer they would like to drop by and meet me.
The Landlady's brother came by the abode today, and cut every spare limb from around the house. He cleared out the three windows in the back of our apartment, and now it is very well lit back there, which is rather nice. I like to see.
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I often won't listen to the band Black Sabbath because Ozzie Osbourne was in the group. What a loser, who so many of you have taken on as a Hero. A hero who did not write, "War Pigs," or any of the other Black Sabbath songs: the bass player, Geezer Butler, did.
A hero would not have married Sharon. A hero would not have let Sharon re-record the music on albums that Ozzie had recorded with other men, because those men would not agree to the lower royalty rate that the former Ms. Arden demanded.
I guess Sharon, and Ozzie, are short a buck out there in Beverly Hills…
"Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne are one of the UK's richest couples, according to the Sunday Times Rich List. They ranked at number 458 in 2005, with an estimated £100 million earned from recording, touring and TV shows. They ranked above most British music stars, such as Rod Stewart, George Michael, Robbie Williams, the Rolling Stones' Charlie Watts and Ronnie Wood, and Pink Floyd, Queen, and Dire Straits members."
--Wikipedia
Sharon makes me sick. She was responsible for charging the unknown bands $75,000 to be on The Drooling Idiot Fest.
Who are my rock heroes? I like Tom Petty, Rollins, and Rue Paul.
A woman from Brasil just said hello to me on Face Book. That is a thing that amazes me about the internet: you can just be sitting in your room, at your desk, and be talking to someone a sea, or so, away. It is mind boggling that world leaders can't get it together to bring us world peace when communication among the masses is now so easy.
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"I Want To Hold Your Hand," by The Beatles is kind of a violent song, don't you think, or at least a fairly aggressive one? I mean these guys are not trying to sweet talk the ladies by the time this song is over: they are practically demanding that the women hand over their hand.
The song starts off innocently, with a nice instrumental introduction, and sweet harmonies by The Fab Four, but as it progresses the boys seem to get anxious, at first, and then aggressive. Maybe they were the first Punk Rock Band out of England, and not The Sex Pistols.
They might be developing drinking problems but I wouldn't know about it, and if I did there is nothing that I can do to stop them any more than there was anything anyone could do to stop me. I'm talking about my kids; I mean what can you do? You try to teach them what is up, give them some good morals, and then they head out there, usually before you are ready to release them.
I remember the day that my son asked me if he could go out, and I know that he meant out without me for the first time in our lives. I said, "yes," and then when the door shut behind him, I curled into the fetal position and cried for an hour. The game had changed. My son didn't need me in the same manner that he had needed me for fourteen years. He was no longer going to be my constant companion. I had bought him a skate board, and he was now on it,
and was out there, meeting new people, hanging out with people who he already knew.
At the end of my cry, my conclusion was that I was going to have to reinvent myself. I had done it before. The move from Drunk Poet to Sober Dad had been a major invention. What would I come up with this time?
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There is a guy who was just arrested for keeping a girl that he, and or his wife, kidnapped when she was eleven, eleven years, or so, ago. It is coming to light that besides doing seven years in jail for kidnapping and rape, that charges were dropped against him in a similar case, years ago.
How the fuck is this guy out here breathing the same air as the rest of us? They will keep a closer eye on Bernie Madoff because his crime was a crime of money, than they will on some evil deviant.
What the fuck. What the fuck. If you're not going to kill the bastard, because, suddenly, we are some sort of moral society, then please, please, please do not let him out to have access to our children.
Thank you.
People say I'm crazy doing what I'm doing
Well they give me all kinds of warnings to save me from ruin
When I say that I'm o.k. well they look at me kind of strange
Surely you're not happy now you no longer play the game
--John Lennon
People used to say I was crazy, now, like John Lennon did until he was murdered, I watch the wheels turn round and round. They don't say that I'm crazy anymore. Of course, I don't much circulate myself among "them," anymore, and when I do I'm not full of wine, beer, bourbon, and LSD.
Funny how times change; funny how people change; funny how I've changed:
thank God that I did.
People say I'm lazy dreaming my life away
Well they give me all kinds of advice designed to enlighten me
When I tell them that I'm doing fine watching shadows on the wall
Don't you miss the big time boy you're no longer on the ball
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I was never any good at rolling a joint.
For a very brief time, back when I was using, I was buying rolled joints from someone. I forget, now, who they were, or where I was going to get them, but it was a great convenience for me, because I was never able to roll a joint. This also means that I could never roll a cigarette, out of a bag of tobacco, which a lot of folks do to save money. I don't think that this makes me a bad person.
I don't regret my past.
(elaborate…)
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And they called it Turtle Love…
One of my turtles, the girl, Rue Paul, is sunning herself on the floating fake rock that sits under a heat lamp in the turtles' aquarium. The other turtle, the male, Prynce, is hanging out on a large rock at the other end of their aquarium. They both look quite satisfied, this morning, having had breakfast, and all.
I am amazed how these two turtles have come to know me, and not be scared of me. Often, they are waiting for me at the end of their aquarium, when I pull back the top to their home to feed them. When anyone else opens the aquarium to feed them, they hide in the back of the rectangle.
Rue just jumped off her rock, and headed over to see what Prynce was up to. I am also amazed with how much time the two turtles spend together. If I could find a love like theirs, I would be a lucky man.
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Someone told me that Porn Stars don't have sex when they are not working…
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"It's not a job, it's something that you have to do."--Tom Petty
I don't spend hours every day with my writing because I have to to make a living. I do it because I love it, I do it because it is in my blood. Kris Kristofferson said something in an interview about how it is the high of creating, and not the money that keeps him at it. I know what he is talking about. There is nothing, and there was nothing, when I was using drugs, and alcohol, that gets me as high as sitting down to the laptop and putting words together.
Nothing.
My brain feels at home when I do this. Everything is comfortable in my existence. I haven't a care in the world, when I am creating.
---------------------------------
Shawtie, our Labor Day weekend guest dog, and Bundy, love to play. I awoke, and got up to write, at 4:30 am, this morning, and the two of them are at it, already, rolling on the floor and growling at each other. I think that having Shawtie here, for a visit, is good for Bundy, because Morisson does not like to play like Shawtie does. Since I got hit with arthritis, in my hips and legs, about two months ago, I have not been able to take the dogs on the three to five mile walks that we were taking. I think that I am at the point in living with my arthritis, though, that I will soon be able to start taking the dogs on shorter walks. I know that they will love that.
The dogs love to walk. Bundy used to mercilessly pull me on the leash,when I first got him, and we first started walking, but, after a great deal of work with him, he became a very decent on leash dog. I'm not sure how he will be when we return to walking. He might need some retraining, just as I have, and will need retraining because of this arthritis.
Morisson has always been good on a leash. Come to think of it, Morisson has almost always been good, in all ways, except for a run away problem that he had when he first became my dog; and by that I mean that Morisson ran away about fifteen times when he first became my dog. Morisson came to me as a runaway, and continued the behavior for quite awhile. He liked to get out there in the neighborhood, and see what was going on. He even jumped out of my car, one day, as we were returning home. My greatest fear about all of that was that one of his runaway away excursions that he would get hit by a car. Fortunately, these days, Morisson knows where home is at, and he stays here with us.
Morisson dreams
My dogs are near veg like me
they eat fish dog food
I eat some fish
no meat for them
they don t fart!!!!
It's my black cat, Jaggar, who usually alerts me to the fact that I need to fill the animals' water dish. Jaggar pushes the empty bowl about the kitchen floor, making a noise that is distinctive and clues me into what I need to do. Jaggar and Bundy are then the first to step up to the bowl and drink them some water. Morisson always goes last. I don't know if that is a spiritual thing on his part, or just a result of the fact that he is meek. The meek shall inherit the earth, Morisson. Yeah, and the rich are going to have to fit through the eye of a needle to get into heaven…
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Can I practice yoga even if I am relatively sedentary and inflexible?
Absolutely. In fact, individuals with limited range of motion or poor flexibility, due to arthritis or otherwise, may benefit the most from yoga practice, as it can increase flexibility, strength, and balance. Even if you are unable to kneel or have difficulty getting up and down, modifications are available. There are some "chair yoga" classes that are taught entirely in a seated position! It may feel a bit disheartening at first when challenges arise, but overcoming such judgments and accepting where you are is an important part of yoga.
A core concept of yoga is to always honor what will allow you to benefit most from the practice. Your yoga teacher will emphasize the importance of always listening to your body, recognizing your current limitations, and approaching your yoga practice from there. Yoga is not competitive, and the focus should not be on how the pose looks (aside from ensuring safe anatomical alignment). It is about experiencing a connection of the body and mind through the breath. While there are some yoga poses that do require a great deal of flexibility, strength, and balance, those poses should only be attempted by very experienced yogis and are NOT for beginners or persons with activity limitations. Again, a good yoga teacher will provide alternatives and modifications to all activities so that students can work within their levels of comfort.
Are there any poses people with arthritis should avoid?
The general rule for arthritis patient (and people in general) is that if it hurts, stop. The old adage of "no pain, no gain" does not apply to yoga, particularly if you have activity limitations. When doing backbends, arthritis patients should keep them relatively small and be aware not to hyper-extend the neck, keeping the head in line with the rest of the spine. For those with arthritis of the hip, be cautious when doing "hip openers" or poses with extreme external rotation of the hips. Generally, you will notice pain if you are going too far with the pose, but sometimes the effects are not felt until the next day. It is important to be gentle with your practice, especially at first. If you do not experience any pain after a few days, you can decide to gradually increase the intensity of the poses.
http://www.hopkins-arthritis.org/patient-corner/disease-management/yoga.html#poses
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Nobody Knows God
Nobody knows God until after The End, until after you have Knocked On Heaven's Door, and been let in. You can read The Bible, you can go to Church, you can pray, and pray for days at a time, but you still won't know God.
Is a little prayer as good as a big prayer? Does God count you more "in" if you pray all day, than if you just give him a quick hello in the morning, and a tired goodbye at night?
Buddhist monks who pray a lot, probably don't have a greater inner track to heaven than the busy mother, who also works twelve hour shifts as a nurse, to support her babies. Just because a Church says that they are the only Church who can get into heaven does not mean that that is true.
How does God view Bernard Madoff versus Phillip Garrido? We don't know, because you can't know God until you are near to being lowered into the earth in your box, or are near being torched.
Nobody knows God. Nobody knows God, while they are alive; I am telling you.
--------------------------------------------------
Mikel K Poet
Belief is fake then; call it faith, and the monks are delusional, perhaps, trying to separate themselves, and their beliefs, and religion from everyone else. I love Buddhism, but found it painful to learn that Buddha blew off a wife and kid, like John Lennon, to go On The Road, like Kerouac said you should.
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Come on baby light my fire…
Around 1984, I was sitting at my desk in this apartment that my live in lover and I lived in writing poetry. I don't know what was wrong with me, but I reached out
with my cigarette lighter, and lit the piece of paper with my poem on it, that was in the typewriter on fire, and sat there as the flames jumped onto the curtains that were on the window in front of my desk. I next remember going into a zombie/non-communicative state. My poor girlfriend didn't know what to do. She made a bunch of phone calls, and the answer seemed to be to take me to the loony bin, something that she didn't want to do, but she didn't know what else to do. Somehow, she got me out of the apartment, into her car, and drove me to a state mental institution, where they checked me in. I realize now that I was on the worst ward, what I call, "The Failed Suicide Ward," because that was what many of the people in that ward were. You had people who had jumped off buildings, and bridges, and lived; you had people who had shot themselves in the head and lived; you had people who had swallowed what they had thought would be enough pills to kill themselves, but they had lived.
Everybody would mill about the day room randomly often bumping into each other and saying, "Hey, have you got a cigarette?" A cigarette seemed to be the only thing that most of us on that ward cared about.
I was really out of it. That was the reason that I was on that ward. I was unable to communicate to the staff who I was. After several days, it all started to come back to me. The person, who interviewed me, asked me if I knew what day it was, and they asked me who The President was. I think that I had trouble with the day, as I sometimes do during even normal times, but I was able to tell the person who The President was.
After about five days, they released me.
At this point, I had gone from an honors high school, and college student to a zombie at The State Mental Ward. It is not the kind of thing that you put a certificate on your wall about. I just kind of blocked it out of my memory, and went back to life as usual: lots of booze, a fair amount of pot, and LSD here and there.
They say that the definition of insanity is, "Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results." Well, I had just spent five days in the Loony Bin, and I was going back to business as usual in my using life: was I not crazy, even though they had let me out?
-----------------------------------------
"People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that's bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they're afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they're wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It's all in how you carry it. That's what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you're letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.”
--Jim Morrison
I wonder if the Dead Door was talking about arthritic pain. I don't think so. I up wide awake at 3:30 am because arthritic pain in my left hip, and my left leg, has awoken me, and driven me out of the bed.
Someone reacting to one of my internet posts said that, "arthritis was my friend, because it is always with you." When I read that, I thought that she was high, that she was hitting the crack pipe, or something.
My friend?
Arthritis is with me constantly, and I am in near constant pain because it is with me. How can pain be my friend; I'm not involved with BDSM.
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Dear Face Book: Life is change; we must embrace change. Have you got any spare change?!
"Show me how you do that trick
The one that makes me scream" she said
"The one that makes me laugh" she said
And threw her arms around my neck
"Show me how you do it
And I promise you I promise that
I'll run away with you
I'll run away with you"
--The Cure
Searching for my one and only
I went down to the sea and looked for sea shells
I only only
came back with sea weed.
No one gave their love to me.
No one even smiled at me.
I looked up to the heavens
and asked
In a place you only dream of
Where your soul is always free
Silver stages, golden curtains
Filled my head, plain as can be
As a rainbow grew around the sun
All my stars above who died
Came from somewhere beyond the scene you see
These lovely people played just for me
--The Outlaws
I'm drinking decaf tonight, some really nasty decaf that has sat around, unopened, in my cabinets for almost two years. I don't want to drink a cup of full strength, because I will be staring at the ceiling until the sun comes up.
I love the first two lines of the song, "Green Grass and High Tides Forever."
What a beautiful place it must be, "where your soul is always free."
-----------------------------------
Dear Facebook: Be all they want you to be.
-----------------------------------
"Wait until the war is over,
and we're both a little older."
--The Doors
The Army, Navy, Marines, Air Force scam you just like a vacuum cleaner sales person can, and often does, going door to door. It's all in the sizzle, baby, not the steak.
"You want to make something of your life, don't you? the recruiter says to the young man, or woman with a so sincere smile. You'd like to go to college, wouldn't you? You want to become a real man, a real woman, don't you?" You want to make your parents proud of you, don't you; your God, your Government, your friends, and neighbors?
And the next thing the kid knows, he or she are laying in the sand, or dirt, in a far off land with their arms and their legs gone.
I am blessed to have never had to participate as a soldier in all the wars that have occurred while I have been alive, and looking back, now, I realize that there were quite a few of them, i.e. we are mostly at war, or so it seems. Something saved me from having my life, and limbs challenged, and has let me come to the point where I can sit here at this desk, listening to music, and drinking coffee while bitching about war, man.
I know that there will never be peace on earth; humans are not built for such. There will always be money to be made from sending out kids to fight old men's' battles.
I feel sad about this; I really do.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
"Breakfast where the news is read
Television children fed
Bullet strikes the helmet's head"
--The Doors
You grow up eating their cereal, then you have to go out and fight their war. The cereal did nothing healthy for your body; maybe it was designed to make the consumer not think. Your whole existence boiled down to fighting a war so that McDonald's could be served in places where men ride camels, and women hide their face away. These people don't want a Big Mac, but the people who sell Big Macs have to expand their "markets." So, your son, and daughter, die so that French fries can be sold.
-------------------------------
Take him by the hand
Make him understand
The world on you depends
Our life will never end
--The Doors
---------------------------------
One day, about ten years ago, I was typing a term paper for a class in school, in my bedroom, and a little box popped up on my screen. Inside it was a woman's name and she was saying, 'Hello," to me. It was a very weird experience. I thought, at first, that aliens were contacting me! I said hello back, and asked her about her box. She then explained, "Instant Messaging," to me, and I was almost immediately hooked.
When my kids were younger, I had no desire to go out. I loved to stay at home, and hang out with them. Sitting at home with my kids, I learned to expand on the instant message thing: I discovered chat rooms.
What a great way to find a date without leaving the house.
The regular chat rooms grew tiresome, though; fast. Women were hit on so often by so many men in those rooms, that when I said hello, I was treated as if I was a piece of dog dung, for the most part, so I decided to set up my own room. I called it, "Poet Seeks Muse." I have met many, many fine, fine women in this room over the years, and have even dated several of them.
Recently, I found this person in my room. I certainly do not want to date them, or even talk to them.
OnlineHost: *** You are in "Romance - Poet Seeks Muse". ***
OnlineHost: u enema has entered the room.
u enema: diarrhea splat
OnlineHost: u enema has left the room.
But, then there were relationships like this forged in The Muse Room:
Stranger: Hey you...I forgot about you for a while, but not yours words.
I miss our random chats
Stranger: thanks for your words
Stranger: always good things
Stranger: you can call me
Stranger: whenever
Stranger: I don't do text
******
When I first got sober, I was scared of the beer and wine aisle at the grocery store, and I wouldn't walk down it because I was so scared of it. I remember being very angry at the grocery store powers that be for putting bottled water on the same aisle as the beer and wine. Just what were they thinking, I thought, how dare they do such a thing to me? And I did without my water, on that particular occasion.
I think that one of the things that "they," say is that, "It takes what it takes," meaning that it takes what it takes to get sober. For me, one of the things that it took, was getting mad at the beer and wine aisle. It is ok to get mad, it is not ok to get drunk over your anger.
The rule is that, "even if your pants fall off, do not pick up." I have followed this rule for almost 18 years. Under no circumstances is using an option, if you are an alcoholic or drug addict in recovery. Hear, hear!
I was chatting online with a young lady last night and she said that she remembered me from the day. "I remember you being a semi-celebrity back in the day…" is what she said.
The day is when I was a music writer, a very drunk music writer "on the scene." When you have ink, you have high visibility, and I had a weekly music column for a couple of years. I met a lot of great people, but my drinking problem pretty much fucked that gig up, like it fucked up all other gigs that I had.
This is taken from my journal:
June 23 2004
Today was a great day, and tonight is and exceptional evening. This woman who I was chatting with, online, asked me if there were any great things happening with me and I told her, “no,” that things were blissfully normal.
I always thought that I had to be huge, that the whole world had to know that I was here. What’s up with that? Is it the rampantly huge, and unstable ego, of a first born male? Is it the result of an insecurity complex a mile wild and a million miles deep?
They tell me that what is really important with the time that you have on this earth is what you do for someone else. If there is a heaven, they tell me, you won t get into it just becoming rich and famous, if you aren't looking out for anyone but yourself.
I sound like some sort of expert, but I’m not. What I learned, I learned the hard way. I’m one of those graduates of that School of Hard Knocks that you are always hearing about. Come to think of it, I am wrong, I am not a graduate. You can never graduate from the School of Hard Knocks. Classes are always being held. The teacher is always waiting for you in that school.
I saw this guy on TV, the other night, bragging about how he had like five hundred pair of underwear. It was weird because the underwear, which he held up for the camera, were the exact same type of underwear that I wear. I only have four pair, but I don’t feel left out, lonely, or like a loser, you know, because I only have four pair; four pair works for me just fine.
I wear the underpants once, or twice, and then I wash them. It’s no big deal, really. I don’t think that I would be any happier if I had five hundred pair. Doing laundry would be even more of a pain in the ass than it is now.
Don't take it off, baby…
I have never been comfortable around naked women who I wasn't sleeping with.
And by this, I am referring to strip clubs. I have only been inside a strip club a few times in my life. I always felt very uncomfortable in there. I think that even though I left The Catholic Church, that there are things ingrained in me from the time I spent there. There are certain morals, or beliefs that I can not, or have not shaken. Perhaps being in a strip club is one of them, or perhaps the problem is that I don t want to look, I want to touch!!
"God, it's such a drag when you re living in the past"--Tom Petty
My past used to haunt me. Images of my father telling me that I was no good, and that I would always be no good, plagued me. I was ruining my today with my yesterday because I couldn’t let the past go. I was still living in yesterday, and yesterday hadn't been all that pleasant.
Because I was living in yesterday, I couldn't enjoy today. I'm not sure how or when I let go. I think it was when I wrote the conclusion to my book, “The Delivery Guy.” There I came to the realization that my father loved me. His love did not feel good to me, but it was the only love he had to offer. It was the best love that he had to offer, the only love that he had to give me.
The type of love that he gave me is not the type of love that I would have chosen, but it was the only love that he was capable of giving me. He did his best. Things could have been way worse.
I had to learn to let go. You have to learn to let go. I have to learn that no matter how much I could have tried, I could not change my father. He was what he was. I thank him for doing what he did.
I did not turn out all that bad. I am the great father that I am, because I know what it feels like to be a child under the type of love that my father gave me. I am capable of a greater love for my children, and for this I am very thankful.
An old friend came over, recently, very saddened because she had just had an abortion. She was saying that God hated her for having it. I told her that God did not hate her, because I truly believe that God did not hate my friend for what had just occurred in her life.
I was taught, as a child, that God is very tit for tat, and very judgmental. This is not the God that I believe in today. The God that I believe in, today, loves me, and he, or she, loves you, too, and he, or she, love my friend, maybe the most.
I cooked macaroni and cheese for my daughter figure, just a few minutes ago. I am blessed to have this beautiful young lady in my life. She stays with me after school, each day, until her mother or “real” father get out of work. She thanked me like ten times for the macaroni and cheese, and told me over and over how good it was.
I am amazed by how the generation below me, i.e. my kids love me and think I'm great, and by how the generation above me, i.e. my parents thought that I was no good.
It s all about perceptions, isn’t it, the way that I, and you, feel things? Something, or some situation, that might make me feel terrible, might make you feel wonderful, and vice versa.
You might have a better attitude about life than me, see the glass as half full to the half empty that I see it, and that makes you feel better about life, in general, and better able to see obstacles, or “bad” things as challenges rather than as a reason to get angry, or depressed.
I commend you for this attitude that you have, and I am, now, constantly working to improve on my attitude. Attitude is where it is at; I am certain of that.
She said to me, “You are a walking act of constant common decency; you are
poetry in motion, polite, and pleasant to everybody, whether it be the checkout person at the grocery store, or somebody that everybody perceives to be important."
We all want to be treated decently. Unfortunately, this often doesn’t occur. Do we then take our pain, and try to transfer it to someone else? I think that I have been guilty of this. I have taken my bad moods out on my children. I have taken my bad moods out on my lovers. I have taken my bad moods out on friends, I have taken my bad moods out on complete strangers, and I have taken my bad moods out on my dogs, and on myself.
I don’t know that taking my mood out on you was a conscious thing, like ”I feel like shit, so i am going to make you feel like shit." But, does it matter what my intent is in a situation like this: the result is still the same: I take my mood out on you.
It was a very nice surprise to hear a new friend say that I was a, "walking act of constant common decency." This observation came after she had hung out with me for several days. I wonder if she will think the same thing if she hangs out with me for several weeks or months or years. Would this not be the true test to see if I was truly a commonly decent person?
If I am, then I wonder where the behavior came from? I know that it has not been a consistent behavior, true of me during all periods of my life. I hope that it is consistent from now on.
I am up, as I so often am, these days, in the middle of the night with arthritis pain. I'm not complaining, I am getting used to living with arthritis, though it is not a pleasant thing to do. The hardest part of this arthritis thing, for me, is not being able to walk my dogs, and not being able to fully participate in Yoga. I don't much like limping around at work, either.
The doctor said that, "Hip replacement surgery was imminent." He also said to, "lose weight." Extra weight is an evil thing. I have diabetes primarily because of it, and I have the arthritis at least in part because of it.
People, don't eat a lot.
There is some nasty goo stuck on the inside of my back teeth on the left side of my mouth. I can't dislodge it with my tongue; I can't get at it with my finger. I suppose that I should get up from this desk and go at it with my toothbrush, but, often, once I sit down at this desk, I am glued here.
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He was my Walter Cronkite
By Mikel K Poet
Jim Carroll died, today. I liked Jim Carroll, and I respected his work. If I was one to cry, when people died, I would cry, today. People lament the loss of Ted Kennedy: Ted Kennedy was a piss-ant compared to Jim Carroll.
Jim Carroll was a junkie; and I trusted him. Make that he was a recovered junky, as far as I know, and I trusted him. Jim Carroll told the truth in his book, "The Basketball Diaries," that he wrote, I believe, when he was still a teenager. Jim Carroll laid it out for you, and me, what it was like to be addicted to smack. He removed any glamour that might have existed in my, then practicing alcoholic mind, about moving to what would have been, for me, the next level of addiction.
It takes a lot of balls to tell people, in print, or otherwise, that you used to suck dick in New York City bathrooms to get money for your drug of choice.
Teddy sniffing glue, he was 12 years old
Fell from the roof on East Two-nine
Cathy was 11 when she pulled the plug
On 26 reds and a bottle of wine
Bobby got leukemia, 14 years old
He looked like 65 when he died
He was a friend of mine
Those are people who died, died
They were all my friends, and they died
-- Jim Carroll - People Who Died Song Lyrics
I saw Jim Carroll read his poetry twice. The first time, I made sure that I stole a copy of, "The Basketball Diaries," before I got in line to shake his hand, along with a lot of other folks, at the now long defunct Metroplex punk rock club in Atlanta, Ga. I don't remember that meeting. I was wrapped in my own addiction, drunk most of the time, in those days, but I do remember that I had just started dating my son's mother at that time, and she wanted to meet Carroll, also, and she didn't have a book for him to sign, so I gave her mine, and she came up with the idea of having it signed on page 69, which he did, so there are two signatures in that book from Jim.
I just went and kissed that book. That is my kiss to Jim, a kiss of thanks for what he gave me: a hero that I could believe in outside of all the sports heroes, actresses and actress, politicians, and major label musicians that I am force fed to believe in.
G-berg and Georgie let their gimmicks go rotten
So they died of hepatitis in upper Manhattan
Sly in Vietnam took a bullet in the head
Bobby OD'd on Drano on the night that he was wed
They were two more friends of mine
Two more friends that died
Those are people who died, died
They were all my friends, and they died
I worked with some great musicians for a couple of years, and we put out a couple of spoken word/improve punk/jazz/rock cd's, the first one was called, "Sober," and when Jim Carroll came to Atlanta to do a reading, around the time, that we put out that cd, I felt that it was important that Jim Carroll have a copy.
Having been a music writer, for a number of years, I knew my way around The Cotton Club, where he was reading, and I knew my way around doormen, and music club security types, and I talked my way passed them into Mr. Carroll's dressing room.
"Hey Mr. Carroll, how are you?" I said, "My name is Mikel K."
"Hey, there how are you, said Jim Carroll, almost as if I belonged there. The guy was not like hey you scrub get the fuck out of my dressing room; I'm a Superstar."
I chitt chatted for a bit, gave him the cd, and cruised. It's always nice when you meet a famous person, and they are not a dickhead. Jim Carroll was not a dickhead to me.
Mary took a dry dive from a hotel room
Bobby hung himself from a cell in the tombs
Judy jumped in front of a subway train
Eddie got slit in the jugular vein
And Eddie, I miss you more than all the others
And I salute you brother
Those are people who died, died
They were all my friends, and they died
I turned on the tv, just now, hoping to see an obit of some sort on CNN about Jim Carroll. The President was giving a speech, and then the talking heads tried to take up my time telling me what The President had just said. I turned the tv off. I don't need anyone to remember Jim Carroll for me. I wasn't best friends with the guy, but he wrote a book that I rank up there with, "The Catcher in the Rye," and, "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas," books, all three, that I will always have a copy of on my shelf.
Herbie pushed Tony from the Boys' Club roof
Tony thought that his rage was just some goof
But Herbie sure gave Tony some bitchen proof
"Hey," Herbie said, "Tony, can you fly?"
But Tony couldn't fly, Tony died
Those are people who died, died
They were all my friends, and they died
I'm a Word Man, Jim Carroll was a Word Man; and I respect him and his words, words that may never die, die.
Brian got busted on a narco rap
He beat the rap by rattin' on some bikers
He said, "Hey, I know it's dangerous, but it sure beats Riker's"
But the next day he got offed by the very same bikers
Those are people who died, died
They were all my friends, and they died
RIP Jim Carroll, you were one of the good ones, and I will remember
you until it is my turn to die, die.
Teddy sniffing glue, he was 12 years old
Fell from the roof on East Two-nine
Cathy was 11 when she pulled the plug
On 26 reds and a bottle of wine
Bobby got leukemia, 14 years old
He looked like 65 when he died
He was a friend of mine
Those are people who died, died
They were all my friends, and they died
G-berg and Georgie let their gimmicks go rotten
So they died of hepatitis in upper Manhattan
Sly in Vietnam took a bullet in the head
Bobby OD'd on Drano on the night that he was wed
They were two more friends of mine
Two more friends that died
Those are people who died, died
They were all my friends, and they died
Mary took a dry dive from a hotel room
Bobby hung himself from a cell in the tombs
Judy jumped in front of a subway train
Eddie got slit in the jugular vein
And Eddie, I miss you more than all the others
And I salute you brother
Those are people who died, died
They were all my friends, and they died
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There is some nice You Tube video of Carroll doing readings
at these links:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bsm9e4KDFFI
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This very drunk man was asked to leave The Bookstore where I work, last night. The very drunk man will not even remember being at the bookstore. I wonder if he will wind up in jail, like I so often did when, almost twenty years ago, when I, frequently, got as drunk as he was, last night? They said that he often patrols the bookstore parking lot, going from person to person, and car to car, and spare changing people. I only spare changed one person in my life; it was a mailman, it was early in the morning, and he gave me five bucks. I have never busked, either; I'm to shy to sit our there on the sidewalk, either alone, or with a musician friend, and read poems to the people. I'd rather have a job, or a millionaire girlfriend, than mooch off of people on the sidewalk.
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I'm hungry, but I haven't written much, yet, this morning. Eating steals my desire, in the short term, to write. I was working at a Gun Club, briefly, in Santa Monica, Ca. called, "The Beverly Hills Gun Club," and we got a phone call from Sylvester Stallone saying that he was coming in to shoot off a few rounds.
When Mr. Stallone arrived, I tested his sense of humor, by doing my best Rocky imitation, and saying, "Wha's Adrian."
Stallone made a gun out of his hand, and blew air at it, as if it was a real gun that had just been shot, and said, "I shot her!"
I was the greeter at the club, so I chatted with Stallone for a minute, or two before the owner came out to shake his hand, and give him the tour that I usually gave folks who are new to the club. In our short chat, Stallone revealed to me that he could not write after eating, that the blood going to his stomach to digest his food somehow robbed him of his will to write. Many years later, I fully understand what he was talking about.
It is nice to meet someone super famous, and have them treat you nice. Kudos to
Rocky!
I lost that job, about a week later, because I decided to skip a day of work, and get really drunk. The owners could tell what was up, that I had a drinking problem. One of them didn't much care, he got angry with me, and said something to the extent of, "No one is going to fuck up my business."
The other guy, a Beverly Hills Cop, was decent about it, saying that a lot of cops had drinking problems, and that he could tell that I had one, and that I should seek help.
Help?
Fuck it; I didn't have a job, what a great excuse to go get drunk again!
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Amazingly, my cat Jaggar, the black one with the piercing yellow eyes, now lets me pet him. It has taken us over two years to get to this point. Jaggar does not appear to love being petted, like my other cat, Kobain, does, but, least, he puts up with it, these days.
Jaggar was found in the parking lot of a McDonald's chest caved in, lying near the body of his dead mother. The person who found him took him to the vet that I was going to for my dogs, and Kobain. I watched Jaggar's progress, as the people at the vet's office nurtured him back to health, and I became very interested in him, interested to the point that they entrusted me with him, once he got to the point where he could be entrusted to someone.
Jaggar grew up fast, he didn't stay small long. He was always very anti-social; very anti-social. Then, one day, he started rubbing himself on my legs, which I thought was weird, but I went with it. Now, I often find him sitting near my feet when I am sitting at my desk, and he will come to me when I shake the container that contains the small, moist treats that he loves so much.
Cats are precious animals, each one of them with their own unique personalities.
I am thankful for the two of them that I have in my life; they bring an added richness to it.
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Mama, take this badge off of me
I can't use it anymore.
It's gettin' dark, too dark for me to see
I feel like I'm knockin' on heaven's door.
I like The Guns and Roses version of, "Knocking on Heaven's Door," the best. I am snapping my fingers to the intro as I listen to the band do the song live in Argentina, via You Tube, when my dog, Morisson, starts beating his tail on the floor. Efffin A, I think…we have a band!
Both of my dogs, Morisson, and Bundy, soon come to me at my desk. I have forgotten that when we are outside I often snap my fingers to bring the dogs to me, and to guide them home. They probably think that it is time to go out and play, though they also probably know that when I am this desk typing, I am mostly glued to it. Play time has to wait until my time as a Poet is done for the day.
Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door
Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door
Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door
Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door
From the minute we are born, we start to knock on heaven's door. I don't know if I believe in the concept of heaven that organized religion wants me to buy into. I don't know if there is a heaven or a hell; I sort of doubt it. I think that these concepts were created to make men behave good, scare them with hell, dangle the carrot of heaven out in front of them on a string.
Mama, put my guns in the ground
I can't shoot them anymore.
That long black cloud is comin' down
I feel like I'm knockin' on heaven's door.
Wouldn't it be nice if we didn't have, or need guns. Guns are like abortion, though, though you might think them bad, they are never going to go away.
Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door
Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door
Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door
Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door
Copyright ©1973 Ram's Horn Music
They Shot Bob Marley Outside The Dakota
They shot Bob Marley outside The Dakota the day that John Lennon rose from the dead.
Jimi Hendrix sat at the head of the table while Jim Morrison read the prayer.
When they finished the final supper, Janis Joplin began to sing. Kurt Cobain started to cry, while he walked on water.
Charles Bukowski looked up from a game of poker that he was playing with angels, lit his cigar and smiled.
--Mikel K
From the book, "The Shot Bob Marley Outside The Dakota"
Life is bigger than you…
Oh, life is bigger
And you are not me
The lengths that I will go to
The distance in your eyes
Oh no, I've said too much
I set it up
I remember where I was the first time that I heard this song, "Losing My Religion," by rem. I was on the patio of a bar, guzzling beer from pitchers on cheap pitcher night. I was half way into my buzz, and hearing this song
almost sobered me up. It was like I had been hit in the jaw, but in a shiny, happy way.
This is one of those songs that I can listen to ten thousand times in a row, and be ready to listen to it ten thousand more times.
That's me in the corner
That's me in the spotlight, I'm
Losing my religion
Trying to keep up with you
And I don't know if I can do it
Oh no, I've said too much
I haven't said enough
I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try
That was me in the corner. That was me in the spotlight. I had lost my religion. Michael Stipe and the band had hit it on the nose. They had written a song about me, and if not about me, then they had, at least, written a song that I could relate to. "I've said too much, I haven't said enough was how I often felt." REM had expressed the ambiguity in my existence.
Every whisper
Of every waking hour I'm
Choosing my confessions
Trying to keep an eye on you
Like a hurt lost and blinded fool, fool
Oh no, I've said too much
I set it up
The hint of the century
Consider this
The slip that brought me
To my knees failed
What if all these fantasies
Come flailing around
Now I've said too much
I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try
But that was just a dream
That was just a dream
Confession? I hadn't been to confession in over a decade at that time. Who spoke of confessions, in my existence, outside of The Catholic Church. I'm listening to the song, as I write this, and it is difficult to write, because, as many times as I have heard the song, it still grabs me, pulls me in, makes me want to concentrate on the lyrics, makes me want to groove to the mandolin.
But that was just a dream
Try, cry, why try?
That was just a dream
Just a dream, just a dream
Dream
Sometimes a song stays with you for a day or so. Sometimes it stays with you for weeks, and, sometimes, when you're lucky, a song stays with you for a lifetime, life this one has me; no dream here, baby.
*******
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX P 100
It rained cats and dogs, yesterday evening. I was at work, standing at the front of the store, saying hello to everyone who entered, as was my job for that hour. Many of the people who came in were soaking wet. The primary area where people were soaked was their feet; shoes and socks were wet to the core just from the little walk it took to get to the store from the parking lot..
This one lady came into the store, said hello to me, took her shoes off, dumped the water from them onto our carpet, and then started wiping her feet on the carpet, right in front of me. It was weird to watch her do this. I felt grossed out, violated somehow, like I was privy to something that I was not supposed to see. And I felt sorry for our poor carpet; how dare she wipe her stinky feet on it.
It is the store's policy to be polite to the customer under most any circumstance, so when the lady was done I smiled at her, and said, "Have a nice day. Like Hunter Thompson said, "When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro."
*******
Does it matter how you die? Is there any difference between putting a bullet in your head in the kitchen, and expiring there, after years of battling cancer or dieing in the hospital, your family owing doctors money for you care that they will never be able to pay?
I think that the main difference between those two situations exists in the minds of those that you leave behind. Killing yourself will probably have a greater effect on your loved ones than it does on you.
Hunter killed himself in the kitchen while talking to his wife. His son found him. To me, there is something fucked up about this. I mean, really, Hunter, get a hotel room.
*******
When I got to Atlanta, a quarter of a century ago, the Afican-American on the streets would call me, "White boy."
"Hey, white boy, you got a cigarette? Hey, white boy you got a quarter?"
Now, on the streets, and else where, I get called, "Big Man."
A couple of years in the gym, and a couple more at the buffet, and here I am, in my fifties: Big Man.
I was a skinny little kid: very skinny. I ran track, played tennis, and was a thin guard in basketball. To now be "Big Man," is quite a stretch for me, because, even though, I don't look that way when I look in the mirror, inside I still feel like that skinny little kid.
It is funny how certain inner voices stay with us. I find that, mostly, that it is the negative voices that stick with me. I still hear my father telling me that I am, "worthless."
I remember my mother telling me, one day, in the kitchen, that I would "be fat." I was about the skinniest kid in my high school. I laughed at her, and told her that she was crazy. She wasn't crazy; she knew what my eating patterns were, and what time was going to do to me.
Now, I'm fat; overweight fighting to lose the weight, because I am diabetic,
and have arthritis, and both conditions are both caused, and aggravated by
extra pounds.
It is a lot easier to put the weight on, than to take it off; trust me, I've had a vasectomy.
*******
I have had a vasectomy. They laughed at me when I told them what I was going to do; they said that I wasn't having sex with anyone, well, duh, that didn't mean that I wasn't going to not have sex with anyone for the rest of my life.
I had read an article that said that the pattern with most American males was to dump his wife, and kids, and start over with a younger woman, creating more kids with her, and that didn't seem like a very nice thing to maybe do to my kids, so I made sure that I couldn't do it. So there.
*******
Most times that I drink one, a cup of coffee makes me feel warm, and fuzzy. I come away from the experience feeling better than I did when I went into it. But, on occasion, drinking a cup of coffee will make me feel jittery.
I used to drink too much coffee; I would start with a pot in the morning,
and then I would continue through most of the day with a cup of coffee near me. One morning, when my friend Dave was visiting with me, I started screaming at him, extremely about something that he had done. Now, I had a right to be irritated with Dave, but there was no reason to be going ballistic on him.
"Mikel," said my friend, calmly, "I think that you need to do something about your caffeine."
It was as if he had slapped me upside the head, which I wouldn't have been surprised if he had done. No, Dave, no, I said to myself, I have given up everything else; you can't expect me to give up my coffee.
I just glared at him, and walked away. I had given up my alcohol. I had given up my cigarettes. I was trying to eat in moderation, and here was someone saying that I should give up my precious coffee.
No. No. No.
Several days later, I started making my coffee by the cup instead of by the pot, and, gradually, I cut back to just a cup in the morning, and, maybe, one later in the day.
I have not yelled at Dave, or anyone else, including the dogs, cats, and turtles since I have made this change. Life is about moderation, and I was not born a moderate person; it is something that I have had to come to learn in many areas of my life.
The cat has gotten very good at getting the inner door open. No matter how hard I push it, I still hearing it creaking open, and look up to see him sneaking out it. The only problem that he has, is that there is another door, outside the one that he has just opened, and he will not be able to get that one open. And if by some miracle he does, he has only let himself out onto the porch, which has another door, and not out into the great beyond that he is trying to let himself out into.
At the last place that we lived, I let my cats be indoor/outdoor cats. We lived on a quiet street; there was an empty lot across the street; I felt good about the situation for letting my cats wander around outside. Where we live, now, I do not feel good about letting my cats wander; there are too many cars, too close to the house, and too many cats prowling about in the immediate vicinity.
I love my cats. I do not want to have to pick one of them up off the pavement. That was the fate that befell the cat that I had before I had the two cats that I have now, Kobain, and Jaggar. Her name was Madonna, and when my son brought home another kitty, who badly needed a home, Madonna got very angry, and would not stay in the house much. One day, a neighbor came to my door, and asked me if I had "seen" Madonna. I knew what he meant immediately. Poor Madonna had gotten run over by a car at the end of the parking lot in front of the apartments that we live in. I felt so blessed to hear him say that someone else had cleaned her up. It would have broken my heart to have had to scrape her up off the asphalt. If Madonna had just been a little bit more willing to share, she might still be alive. It just goes to show you that anger can be bad for cats, like it is for human.
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It's often an hour to go until I've got to get somewhere, leaving me an hour until I am where I am supposed to be. Time is an incredible thing; no matter how much of it I have of it, it is always slipping away on me. It seems like it only has taken me several minutes to get where I am, but actually it has been 52 years. I can't believe it; I feel like I am still young, but I am looked upon by the young as if I am old. Oh well, I guess I hurtling, fast, towards finding out what is after, what the forever after is all about. It is sure to be consciousness expanding, if my consciousness is still with me, a topic which there is great debate about.
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About two months ago, I was stricken with severe arthritis. I went from walking my dogs three to five miles a day to not being able to walk them at all. I went from a pain free existence to an existence full of pain. The Doctor who took the x-rays, and told me that I had arthritis, and had not pulled a groin muscle like I thought, also told me that "hip replacement surgery was, "imminent." At the time I thought that I could fix the hip with something natural like yoga, or maybe I could drink dandelion juice, or take some herbs. For the last two months the pain has gotten worse, and worse, and my ability to get around has gotten less, and less. I have an appointment, tomorrow, to see a Doctor who can perform the hip replacement surgery. I can't wait to get under the scalpel.
cfeni: so can i be more obnoxious
cfeni: its fun
mikel k: you can be pretty fucking obnoxious
mikel k: but then you are a spoiled litte rich kid without the money
mikel k: i d be pissed off, too
cfeni: ah, money is overrated
cfeni: i want love
cfeni: and that ain't gonna happen
mikel k: i want money money can buy me love
cfeni: really?
mikel k: yes
cfeni: not in my world
mikel k: how do you get love when you don t have money to ask someone out
mikel k: hey would you like to go to the soup line with me?
cfeni: i guess if they had no money either then it woudn't be a problem
cfeni: you like the rich bitches
mikel k: i do?
mikel k: what the hell was i doing hanging around you then?
cfeni: good question
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Sometimes, you enter into relationships that force you to grow up. Growth is still possible when you are two hundred years old. Often you do not realizing that you are growing, because growth can feel like a sharp slap in the face. Once you have survived the slap, though, a refreshing feeling engulfs you, for you have done something that you did not think it possible for you to do: you have grown. Mostly, I think that I know it all and that there is not much I can learn. This is a stupid attitude. I am not stupid, but I have a multiplicity of stupid attitudes. I want to grow; I want to cast off my stupid attitudes. I know that this is possible.
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There was a time when I would snort anything. If you crunched it up, and it fit through a straw, I would try to get it in my nose. Today, this seems like really weird behavior, but at the time it made sense.
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I start my day off by listening to the song, "Don't Cry," by Guns N Roses, because I feel like crying. Sometimes little things seem so insurmountable. Sometimes, I feel like I can't put one foot in front of the other and move on. I get stuck where I am.
Not to whine; the day will get better, and, soon, I will not remember how I feel now. I will feel different; sometimes better, sometimes strong, sometimes worse, weak.
I am not the cup of coffee that I pour. I am not the person that the person who I work with is mad at. I am the smile that I have on my face.
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"Love" is something that you can abuse, because you own it. It's yours, you can yell at it, insult it, make it cry, hurt its feelings, and on, and on, and on, because it is "yours." Mary me, my lady, marry me.
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Kobain just coughed up a hairball that looked like poop, and the worst thing about it is that he coughed it up, not on the filthy carpet, but on my bed. I had to remove the sheet(I don't use a top sheet) and put it in the washer right away. My animals are constantly presenting me challenges.
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I hate when my computer turns itself off: it goes to black, but the blue on and off button is still on; what's up with that? When I get a call from my oldest kid, early in the morning, like I did, this morning, it means that my job has called him, wanting something, usually for me to show up early, because someone else decided to take the day off, and because they did not reach me on my phone(I was asleep with the phone turned off, as it always is when I sleep.)
I'm a cynic; I think that it's rare that someone is sick enough to miss work(I think that that was programmed into me by my Irish immigrant working class parents.) I mean I don't mind if you are sick, or if you want to take a day off to lay up with your boyfriend, or look for a new job, as long as it doesn't affect me. Me, me, me...we are talking me, here, dear. I try to help out at work, whenever possible, by working to fill in when they need me, but I just don't have it in me, this morning. My head feels very groggy, and my hip is giving me a lot of pain. Should I feel guilty for just being able to work the shift that I was assigned?
I am in a piss poor mood, this morning. I like to wake up slow, sipping caffeine, typing words onto a computer screen, not be rushed into existence with harried phone calls. Dig?
The dogs pretty much chose to ignore me, this morning, when we were on our morning expedition to the front yard, and places not too far beyond, not heeding my, "Go home, Bundy; Go home, Morrison, when I thought that it was time to go home, preferring, instead, to languish in the, now, cool, and, still, wet grass, sniffing; enjoying one of the first cool mornings of the new autumn.
Monkey, the sort of stray cat, was hanging out front when the dogs and I arrived there, this morning. Monkey likes to say good morning to the dogs, rubbing up against the dogs like they are lovers preparing for a kiss. My only hope is that her loving manner doesn't give the dogs AIDS. I'm kidding, and I'm talking fleas kids, not acquired immunodeficiency syndrome.
Another cat showed up, wanting I'm not sure what; perhaps to share in Monkey's breakfast that I had just put out, but the dogs chased that cat off. I was glad that one, or both of the dogs, did not run off into the distance chasing the cat. Morrison, especially, used to have a problem coming back to the house after he ran off for any reason, and chasing a cat off was an especially good reason to head out into the hood for several hours.
Writing this has been good for me. I don't feel so stressed out anymore. People get sick, people call in when they are not sick. I should be glad that I have a job that thinks enough of me to want to bring me in early: there, the good attitude is back.
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I don't know about this Face Book crap; I got home from work, tired, grabbed a bag of peanuts, and a bowl to put the shells in, sat down to the puter, and found that I had 11 messages on FB. This should be fun I thought...11 messages is good. Not one was good, they were all responses that someone had made on a string where I had made a comment, or comments to a string that I had not requested to be on. I hate when people include me in their strings. Anyway, I'm tired and pissy; work was a pain in the ass, again, today... under staffing becomes stressful when you get busy, and there is no one to cover your back: the man saves money on labor costs, but you grow older with stress as you constant companion at near minimum wage per hour. I know, I know there are options, you have choices, blah, blah...
Dear Facebook: Work sucks, Face Book sucks, Everything sucks...ha ha!
Dear Facebook: I've napped, and, now, I'm so happy, happy, happy...comfortably numb, perhaps, as "they" say. The dogs love the cold; they can't wait to go out, and then they don't want to come in. What is Monkey, the outdoor cat, going to do when it gets really cold?
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Bundy, the dog, will snap at Jaggar, the cat, when Jaggar dares to stick his nose in or near Bundy's food dish, in the morning. Yet, the first thing that Bundy does, when he returns from his a.m. outdoor visit, is to run to Jaggar's breakfast bowl, and try to wolf down whatever kitty food that is in it before I scream, "No," at him. He then runs off, and hides beneath my desk. It is a game we play, a morning ritual, with Bundy usually emerging the victor, the animal with the most food in his gut.
Monkey, the stray cat**, has taken to rubbing up against my legs when I take the dogs outside to use the facility. I don't think that he is wanting to be held, and petted, because Jaggar does the same foot, and leg, rubbing thing, but resists being held or petted at all costs. I say, "stray cat," in regards to Monkey, but, really, these days, Monkey doesn't stray very far from the bowl that I fill with food every morning for her.
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Bundy, the dog, will snap at Jaggar, the cat, when Jaggar dares to stick his nose in or near Bundy's food dish, in the morning. Yet, the first thing that Bundy does, when he returns from his a.m. outdoor visit, is to run to Jaggar's breakfast bowl, and try to wolf down whatever kitty food that is in it before I scream, "No," at him. He then runs off, and hides beneath my desk. It is a game we play, a morning ritual, with Bundy usually emerging the victor, the animal with the most food in his gut.
Monkey, the stray cat**, has taken to rubbing up against my legs when I take the dogs outside to use the facility. I don't think that he is wanting to be held, and petted, because Jaggar does the same foot, and leg, rubbing thing, but resists being held or petted at all costs. I say, "stray cat," in regards to Monkey, but, really, these days, Monkey doesn't stray very far from the bowl that I fill with food every morning for her.
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Lynne Ferrigno
You'll do great... I have half a dozen friends who've had the surgery. All are practically tap dancing.
The Doctor spoke fast, the whole time that he was speaking to me about my leg, hip, and back x-rays. I sat there the whole time wondering if I could trust him. He wanted to put a series of three shots in each of my knees. He was talking about the possibility of a shot, or shots, in my back after I got an MRI.
I decided to not be in a pissed off mood about it all. The Doctor also wanted to do hip replacement surgery, which, to me, meant that relief was on its way from the intense hip pain that I had been experiencing for the past several months.
I wasn't sure what the shots to my knees and possibly to my back were, or were about, but I decide to try and have some faith in something that I had never had much faith in: Doctors.
I got on the bus in a good mood. My eyes were mostly hidden behind my hair as I got on the bus and said cheerio to the bus driver. Because my eyes were hidden, I did not see that the bus driver was in a bad mood, until I walked away from him. When he spoke to me, though, as I walked away, he gave me a cheery mellow, proving that a good mood, like a yawn, can be infectious.
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In the seat across from me, on the bus, this older pot-bellied man is fiddling with the ear piece that is attached to his mp3 player. I'm not an expert at this type of thing, but I'm pretty sure that his player is not an IPOD, but rather might be
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I once swallowed about half a bottle of aspirin in a sort of half ass attempt to kill myself. I realized at the halfway point in the bottle that as depressed as I was that I did not really want to die, so I quit swallowing the little white pills. I don't know if aspirin can kill you, but I do know that if you swallow enough of it, you will wish that you are dead. I can't remember the specific symptoms, but I do know that I felt awful, and that if I should ever try to meet my make ahead of his or her scheduled time, that it won't be aspirin that I take as my ticket over to the other side.
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"Love is when you are as concerned about someone else's situation as you about your own..."--"Tuesdays With Morrie," by Mitch Albom
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In this world, as it is, sometimes, unfortunately, you don't have time for love. They work you to the bone, so that they can make the big bucks, and then you come home, too exhausted to even pet your dog; at least I do. What if I had a wife here; what kind of attention would I have to show her? My mood is foul because I am so exhausted. I am too tired to even write. I remember the foul moods that my father was in after putting in a long day in a factory, the type of factory where he lost half of one of his fingers, once. At the time, it just seemed like he didn't love me, that his angry mood meant that I was bad, and unwanted. As I come home from work, now, and ignore my dog's pleas for pats on the head, I can see where my father was coming from. I have to forgive my father for being, "bad."
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Remember when you were young, as I remember when I was young; how did this older age come upon me/us so fast? When I was young, I thought that I was young forever, and, now that I am old, I know that my life is not unlimited. I am wiser now, but my body does not cooperate like it used to. I need a new hip, and my knees, and back need rejuvenating. Once, I thought that I was invincible, now I see the limits to what I can do.
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Dear FB: I get nervous when a cool opportunity comes my way; my heart starts to beat, I sweat a bit. I think of myself as a choke artist, I get so consumed by the stress of the gig, that all I can do is scream: yell and scream at the audience, harshly sending out to them words that need some tenderness. I hear the voice of my father in the background saying, "You're no fucking good," and that doesn't help at all.
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Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared
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I hope that today was a good day for you. I enjoyed my bus/train/bike ride to the MRI place. The MRI, itself was a bit claustrophobic, but the folks there were nice. When I got home, Bundy had raided the cats' food container, trying to bit into it. He is on my poop list.
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I stopped telling people that I was going to kick their ass, either jokingly, or seriously, awhile ago. I don't want to kick anyone's ass, and ass yee say, they say, so shall yee possible reap. When guys want to play around, play fight, I back off from the situation. And I am a guy who used to get in fights in bars, fairly regularly, and even was stupid, and drunk, enough to get in a fight with a cop one, night who was trying to arrest him for dui.
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FB Lady: Where do you work? I will come in and get a coffee sometime.
I can't have people drop by; they have cut us to one person, where there used to be two. I am not my usual smiling self, often, now, when I am grinding out coffee drinks; you would probably hate me.
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I started reading this book, today, Oct. 2, 2009. It is a really good book, so far, and I am almost 40 pages into it. P. 39
"We've been there and come back. When you fall in the pit, people are supposedly to help you up. But you have to get up on your own. We'll take your arms, but you'll have to get your legs underneath you and stand again."
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The dogs will stay out of the cat's food while I am here, but the minute that I turn my back they are on the cat food like flies on poop. I trust my dogs, but only in certain arenas, and food is not one of them.
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I had this part time job where I was helping a friend clean a house, every other week. The money that I made went towards groceries. Because of the worsening of the arthritis in my hip, and knees, my friend had to let me go because I could not do the job as it needed to be done, and because I was a risk to him: what if I fell and hurt myself in that house that we were cleaning.
I knew that I would feel the pinch financially, and I have. Groceries have been cut back to a minimum. There is really no need to whine, here, though I feel in somewhat of a whining mood. I need to take steps.
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It is fall, now, the weather has gotten cool, the sun is mostly bright; the days are beautiful, an incredibly welcome respite from the hot, humid summer that preceded it. My dogs love this weather, they beg to go out in it, and they want to stay out longer, whereas, when it was hot, they were in no hurry to go out, and in a hurry to come back in to the air conditioning, once they had done what they went out there to do.
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"Unless you know what you're looking for, you won't know it when you see it."-- B. Sinister
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candy: you treat your pets better than most people
candy: they are your primary companions
I treat most people better than most people treat people,
perhaps, or maybe I'm just another Capitalist Pig in waiting,
to pay you low, sell my goods high; I used to get high, my, my.
---The weird way that I am sometimes awoken----------------------------
My black cat, Jaggar, loves to lay on my black book bag. It is his favorite place in the abode to hang out on. I leave it at the foot of the bed for him; sometimes he scratches or bites at my foot when it gets too near him in the middle of the night, which is strange payback, don't you think, for being so nice in setting him up with a bed that he loves.
It's Monday, and I don't really have the money for half and half for my coffee, and I milk for my cream until Thursday night at midnight, when the paycheck from the Corporate Bookstore that I work at is deposited. I don't really feel bad about this. I have been wanted to try to become a black coffee drinker, and a person who does not pour milk in his tea, for a long time, and why not make this the opportunity to do that?
I learned, somewhere, along the way that there is always good in a bad situation; often, though, you have to look for the good to find it. In this situation, perhaps the good is getting to do something that you have wanted to do all along, but have not had the motivation to do, because the situation was not right.
Well, maybe it is right now?
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I just posted a You Tube video of Bob Dylan performing, "Mr. Tamborine Man," at The Newport Jazz Festival in 1964. I dedicated it to Hunter S. Thompson. Thompson pissed my off when he shot himself in the head, in the family kitchen, and his home in Woody Creek, Col. If he wanted to end it all, fine; but couldn't he have gone out in the woods and done it, and not left his corpse in the kitchen for his son to find?
Suicide can be such an inconsiderate act.
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The sound of a cat licking water, sounds much like the sound of something frying on the oven. Often, I look over my shoulder, from my desk, to look for a frying pan that I think that I must have forgotten about, full of things frying, to find one of my two cats licking away at the water bowl that they share with my dogs.
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I've gone bananas: my dogs like bananas, and I like bananas. I like to freeze ripe, and over-ripe bananas, and thaw them out in the microwave oven to add to my oatmeal. The dogs love it when I cut the tips off of the bananas and throw them to them, as part of the banana peel removal process that leads to freezing the bananas. I love the consistency, and taste of a banana that has been frozen, and thawed, and then added to my oatmeal.
I was in line at the store, yesterday, and I put a large bunch of green bananas on the conveyor belt. The man in front of me said, "You like green bananas, eh? I like them when they are just ripe."
I guess he didn't know that if you take green bananas home, they will ripen in your house. Also, he didn't know that I mostly buy organic bananas, and, in my experience, organic bananas are mostly green when you find them on your grocer's shelf.
I like ripe bananas, too; I mean, who among us that likes bananas, doesn't. You run into some weird folks at the grocery store, from time to time.
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I look over from my desk, and see that one of my turtles is biting on a rock, in his aquarium, that is not chewable. I wonder what he is thinking? Do I need to feed him, I wonder, or is he just playing? I chew on the top of pens, at times, and other objects foreign to my healthy diet; maybe he is doing the same. I go on with what I am doing, and I let him go on with what he is doing. Several minutes later, I look back over at him. He is swimming up and down the length of the aquarium, seeming to want out. I would want out, wouldn't you?
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Most religions warn against war, yet more wars have been fought over religion than perhaps anything else. Christians have killed Jews. Jews have killed Muslims. Muslims have killed Hindus. Hindus have killed Buddhists. Catholics have killed Protestants. Orthodox have killed pagans, and you could run that list backward and sideways and it would still be true. War never stops; it only pauses.
--Mitch Albom, p.90, "Have A Little Faith."
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"What profits a man if he gains the whole world, but loses his soul?"--Name That Singer
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Do you have a soul? This question is unanswerable until you die. Is there a God? This question is, also, unanswerable until you die. Those are my thoughts on those two questions. I am sure that there are many people who would argue with me. I am sure that there are many people who would agree with me. Your soul, my soul, and God, like politics are great things to argue, because there are no real answers. I have to go to the Doctor, today. I hope that I don't have cancer or some other terminal condition. I'm not ready to die.
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My vehicle died, and I found myself unable to pick my daughter up after school. She had to ride the bus home to her mother's house, which was a bit of a long trip.
My daughter's school, and my Yoga studio, are near each other, and one night, as I was coming home from Yoga, I saw a for rent sign in front of a house very near to my daughter's school for a one bedroom apt. I wrote the number down, and when I got home, I called the landlord.
I was unable to afford the one bedroom apt., but the landlord also had a studio apt. for rent in the same building that was in my price range. I made an appointment to look at it. It wasn't all that, the years having not been kind to it, and the landlord not having much kept it up, but location, location, location; if I rented it, I would live eight houses away from my daughter's school; I would not need a car to pick her up after school, she could just walk home, and I would be near my Yoga studio, and a nice grocery store; I wouldn't need a car, for the most part.
I put a deposit on the space, and agreed to move in the following month. The space has proved to be a God-send; it is funny how the things you need often materialize when you need them.
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This older pot-bellied man, across the aisle from me on the bus, is fiddling with the ear piece to his mp3 player; I'm not an expert at things such as these, but I am mostly sure that his player is not an IPOD. This guy doesn't
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(It's raining again.) There were lots of problems in my past, and sometimes my mind wants to wander to a place where it thinks that there are problems, today, in my existence but there are not.
Like John Lennon said, "there are no problems, only solutions."
I wish that I had said that. Do you think that if I had said that that people would quote me as often as they do John Lennon?
I doubt it. I wasn't a Beatle.
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Morisson has pulled up to my feet, which means that it is raining outside, and that, most likely, we will experience some thunder and lightening. Storms are what Morisson fears the most in this world. When I am awake, he glues himself to me for the length of the storm, pulling up at my feet, as I have just indicated, when I am at my desk, and following me around the apartment, nearly glued to me for the length of the storm.
If the thunder and lightening occurs when I am asleep, he wakes me, and then begs, and begs until I let him jump up onto the bed, and crawl next to me. My rule is no dogs in the bed, but I make an exception for Morisson during storms.
Cat's are allowed anytime, and Kobain and Jaggar both make the most of this allowance. Kobain will jump up on the bed, almost the minute that I lay down on it, crawl up onto my chest, stick his head in my hand, and demand that he be rubbed and scratched. When he gets his fill of this he crawls to my side for awhile, and then heads to the foot of the bed to spend the night, where Jaggar is already asleep.
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The remote control to my oscillating fan, that sits near, and blows pleasant air at my desk, is missing, and, this morning, I figured out what must have happened to it: I'm betting that my cat, Jaggar, turned it into a toy, pushed it from my desk , and onto the floor, where he chased it around until it disappeared into a place where he couldn't play with it anymore, a place where I can't see it.
The fan still works without the remote, but it isn't as convenient, and I must have convenience in my world whenever possible. Jaggar, honey, bring home the remote.
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An old friend of mine came over to visit, last night. I had not seen her in almost 20 years. It was good to see her. She was able to track me down on the internet; Google sure comes in handy for staying in touch. I fixed her a coffee, and she drank it black.
Last night, the day after her visit, I came across her coffee cup, on a table on my front porch; there was still coffee in it. I was amazed by this. I am the type of person who drinks every last sip of whatever is in my cup. I am the type of person who eats every last bite that is on his plate. I was trained to be that way by my father. If I didn't eat what was on my plate, or complained about what was on my plate, my father would backhand me to the face, while we were sitting next to each other at the dinner table.
I guess I learned the hard way what my father's desires were. Being a part of the clean plate club is a good thing, if you are trying to avoid getting hit by your father, but it is not a good thing with regards to eating what you need, and not over-eating.
I was old-school trained, brought up the Irish way by a mean, angry old man. He fucked up a lot with regards to me, made me a little rough around the edges, but he also bred in me some might fine traits, and when I take full credit for myself, I need to stop and share the glory:
father, thank you for doing the best that you could.
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Jesus was a Jew, and yet the Christians and the Jews don't believe in each other. Can you explain that to me? No, wait, I have it figured out, I don't need your thoughts about this swirling through my head.
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My house is dirty; I need a good woman to clean up after me. Har, har.
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Mikel K Poet I'm having cat food for dinner; it tastes like tuna, sort. Sometimes it makes me gag, a bit, but you got to eat.
Yesterday at 6:41pm • Comment • Like
Cassandra Gilldo you need food?
Yesterday at 7:07pm • Delete
Jeff RackleySeriously?
Yesterday at 7:45pm • Delete
Edie Miller AngeloNo, is really that bad?? I used to eat dog biscuits when I was little..if it's really that bad, go get food stamps...they are easy to qualify for....and they give you a voter registration card to boot....
Yesterday at 8:27pm • Delete
Mikel K PoetFood stamps sent me a cut off notice, several days after my job told me that I would lose it due to hip surgery. I hate to ask for help, but heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelp!!
Yesterday at 8:53pm • Delete
Cassandra GillMikel this is definitely one of those times you need to get in touch with your church and let them know you need help. If you don't have a church or yours doesn't do charity (what kind of church doesn't do charity at least for its own members?) then please call the Atlanta Friends Meetinghouse.
Yesterday at 8:59pm • Delete
Cassandra GillAlso, sign up for AngelFood Ministries http://www.angelfoodministries.com/hosts.asp put your zip code in and look for the closest address. You can order online and have someone pick it up for you. It is worth it.
Yesterday at 9:01pm • Delete
Mikel K PoetI feel weird about believing in Churches in a time of need, when I don't believe in them normally.
Yesterday at 9:01pm • Delete
Mikel K PoetI know that beggars are not supposed to be choosers, but in order to get produce and or vegetables from angel food ministeries, you have to buy their meat first, and I haven't had any meat for over a year, now, and plan to stick with such. Thank you for the suggestion, though; they are a wonderful organization, if you eat meat!!
Yesterday at 9:05pm • Delete
Cassandra Gilllol that's part of why they do it, Mikel. If you don't believe in churches, believe in people's christian charity which is easiest to organize through a church. most church charities are really just a group of people doing something good while using the church's resources. But if it makes you nervous, contact the Atlanta Friends Meeting House - ... Read More
Yesterday at 9:05pm • Delete
Cassandra GillAngelfood has a fruit/veggies special box. http://www.angelfoodministries.com/menu_0910en3.asp bottom of page
Yesterday at 9:07pm • Delete
Mikel K PoetYou know, I hate to be cynical, but I was down and out at least one time before, and I found Christian churches, for the most part, to be stingy, and wanting to shove their Christ up my butt...you know...if you're going to eat our food, you've got to believe in our Jesus. Well, I don't believe in their Jesus, and I won't grovel to eat their food. Thanks for the suggestion, though; I know that your heart is in the right place, Cassandra.
Yesterday at 9:10pm • Delete
Cassandra GillQuakers don't do that, trust me, not all Quakers are christians anyway; plenty of jewish atheist and pagan quakers. The central belief is that everyone must have their own personal relationship with the creator and no one can dictate that. They don't even proseltyze. I'm not a christian and I never will be. Sometimes I'm not even sure I am a deist, but Quakers welcome everyone and they don't preach at all. They don't have any preachers!
Yesterday at 9:14pm • Delete
Edie Miller AngeloJust call the food stamp people and tell them the situation has changed because of the surgery and isn't it against the law to fire someone for being sick????? If I wasn't so screwed myself I would send you a check...I just ate 2 month out of date sour cream because it smelled and tasted ok and now I am sick as a dog....Dunkin Donuts gives donuts ... Read More
Yesterday at 10:06pm • Delete
Harmony Kerrick LanzMikel, if you need help ... you have to take it, no arguing ;) catfood for dinner is NOT a way to stay out of the hospital..especially considering your other health factors.. my 2 cents..for what it's worth, i'm sorry the employers these days are short on decency and that your not working right now..30 more people were laid off at my job on thursday too..it's bare bones out there..everything does work out though..promise
Yesterday at 10:22pm • Delete
Mikel K PoetIn the cases that I was talking about, they weren't offering "help" they were offering lectures. I need to clarify that I am not eating cat food, that was just a cynical thing that I came up with, a projection that will never occur. Thank you all for your concern.
Yesterday at 10:37pm • Delete
Yvonne CherieI agree w/ HKL..Lets see what we can do..If everyone is able to bring you a dish..One of us day...We as a unit should be able to help you..
Yesterday at 10:41pm • Delete
Yvonne CherieYou have a lot of friends...( :
Yesterday at 10:43pm • Delete
Vivan Grecolove you brother, let me help in some way, not far from there myself, but we help freinds, call and let me know what you need, even if its just a loaf of bread and some pb&j. i will drop it off tommorow.
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How we deal with our dogs during a Recession
Maybe I'll find a cheaper apartment, but they won't take Bundy because he barks, so I'll just leave him here, in this apartment, when I move out, and he won't let the landlord in, so the landlord shoots him.
I could feel sorry for myself, having been hit as I was with a hard one two punch, but feeling sorry for myself is not an option, these days, it does no good at all.
My black cat was reclining on top of the black book shelf that he always reclines on, and my daughter came by to quickly drop off the large book bag that she often drops off in the morning, when she is going to be staying with me in the afternoon. My daughter always drops it off on the black shelf that the cat was reclining on, and she made the cat move so that she could place it on top of the shelf. When she left, I went and got her bag and moved it to a chair in another part of the room, so that the cat could continue reclining. There is a lesson in here somewhere, but I am too tired this morning to find it.
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I am going to the Doctor's office today, my Primary Care Physician, as she is called to get approval from her to have my hip replacement operation. She needs to tell the Doctor who is doing the hip replacement operation that I am physically fit to undergo the operation. My doctor is out of the office, today, so another Doctor, will do the exam. As I age, it seems that there are more and more Doctors involved in my life. I am blessed to have insurance.
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"And any information given will be used to collect this debt…" says the recording on the phone that has been left to my voice message system. Well, I probably won't give you any information, I think to myself, and even if I wanted to, you are a recording, so what good would that do you?
I heard the other day that one of the jobs that there are a lot of is that of debt collections. If you want to get on the phone, and harass people for money that they don't have, have at it. I'd feel like a pig signing on for such a job, myself. I think that anyone working for the credit card companies is cruel and evil; just my thought on the matter.
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Today was a day where I really wished that I had a cane. I looked at one, last week, at The Pharmacy, but couldn't swing The Twenty that they wanted for it. It was raining, today, and cold, the perfect combo to make my hip act up, and act out.
I had an EKG done on my loving heart today. The nurse said that my heart was fine, but the Doctor is sending me to a Cardiologist.
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Thanks- you guys are sweet. Found out some little brat has been bullying my kid all day and punched him in the stomach... this WILL be dealt with properly, as it doesn't sound like it has been yet. COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE
--A Pissed Off Mother
cherishlouise [1:26 A.M.]: write me sometHing
cherishlouise [1:26 A.M.]: a pome on heartach
cherishlouise [1:26 A.M.]: and moving on
cherishlouise [1:26 A.M.]: :)
cherishlouise signed off at 1:52 A.M.
cherishlouise signed on at 5:23 A.M.
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Life in the little box (USE THIS AS INTOR TO IM SECTION)
I could have loved you
but you were so far away
and I wasn't free to travel;
kids, and dogs, n cats, n turtles,
and all,
but I'm glad that you found someone
who treats you right,
and I'm so happy that you are having
a baby next month.
I have lived through so much with you
in this little box, and all of it has
been fun.
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I have complained, at times, about how hot it is in this abode, but this morning, after stepping back into my home, after stepping out into the cold to feed Monkey, the formerly stray cat, I am thankful that this old apartment retains heat. It has gotten cold fast, here in this southern city; yesterday, at work, as a barista in a coffee cafe, I fixed a lot of hot chocolates and hot chai teas for cold folks.
Corporations mostly suck, don't they; their soul motive is to maximize profits for those greedy assholes sitting at the top of the corporate heap. Life is grand, though; my days with the current corp. that I am doing time with, are limited. They are kicking me to the curb, when I have to leave to get my hip replaced. It feels dismal to have such support, much like a soldier must feel, who lost a leg or two, and then found out that nobody cared about him, or her, past using them to wage war for much the same reason that corporations exist: the acquisition of as much money as is possible.
I have spoken, before, of how peaceful it is for me to watch my cats eat their breakfast in the morning. Watching them eat still gives me the calms. When I got home, last night, Jaggar's dish lay broken on the floor. I was bummed, but not pissed. Dogs and cats left alone while one is at work sometimes "play."
It is a great day to be alive.
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It has gotten cold here in my Southern City, I woke up late, such a blessing, and went out to feed
Poet's Corner K Page
David Herrle Subtle Tea K Interview
http://www.subtletea.com/mikelkinterview.htm
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The male bus driver pushes a button somewhere at the front of the bus. A female voice comes through the speakers, telling us that there will be a fare increase, tomorrow. The recorded woman says this several times, and then she thanks us for riding with her, which I find at least somewhat oxymoronic, given that she has just raised the cost of admission to public transportation on us.
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I'm not sure what it says about me that I am 52 years old, and there is no one to help me get to the Orthopedic Doctor's office for this appointment, this morning, concerning my castrated hip.
I hop on my bike, pedal a bit, and then my bike and I hope on the bus, then off the bus onto the train, and then off the train, and then we ride and walk up and down the hills that take us to the doctor's office.
The last time that I was in this office, the doctor showed me an x ray of my hip, then looked at me, and said, "Bone to bone."
I was feeling super sorry for myself when I got off the train today. I was in pain. I was limping. I was thinking that nobody loved me, because nobody was available to give me a ride. Then I saw a man in a walker, fighting to get off the train. It seemed like he was using his upper body, and arm strength to propel himself along. He was certainly in worse shape than I was, and when you see something like this, when you see that there are others out there suffering worse than you, it makes you pause, or at least, it makes me pause, and realize that it could always be worse, and that you should quit feeling sorry for your sorry ass self.
---------------------------------------
I'm at the train station, waiting for the train. There is a lovely girl, here, waiting for the train also. She has great hair. Her hair is really spectacular. I found myself wondering how long she spends with that great hair before she comes out into the world; then I realize that it doesn't matter, that it is stupid for me to be spending any time thinking about how much time she spends with her hair. The train comes; and I will never see her, or her hair, again.
-----------------------------------------------
It has gotten cold here in my Southern City, I woke up late, such a blessing and went out to feed Monkey, the stray cat, who lives in and about my abode, and he was not waiting for his food, this morning, like he usually is. Maybe I was too late in bringing his bowl of dry and wet cat food to him, and he found breakfast elsewhere. They tell me that Monkey finds his hot spots, during the cold weather. Once he fell through the roof of one of the downstairs apartments onto someone's bed. He was curled up in a warm spot in the roof.
As I came in the door, my cat Jaggar, was peeking out at me from the bookshelf that sits against the wall by the window. I moved fast, and started petting him. Jaggar is so silly, he hates to have my hands upon him, the hands that feed him; he doesn't like to be petted at all. I love him, anyway.
When I got home from taking what they were giving, last night, there was a condom on the floor. I don't have roommates, and nobody had broken into the apartment to steal one, and I wondered just what the heck the dogs were doing with an unopened condom. Perhaps it was a flavored rubber?
-----------------------------------------------------------
Bundy pulled some Alpha Male dog crap, this morning; he headed for Morisson's food bowl, first, ate all that, and then marched over to his bowl, and ate most of that. Morisson cowered like the submissive loving wimp that he is, and just watched Bundy do it. I watched him do it, also, not really believing what I was seeing. Sometimes, the dogs trade bowls, but that was not what was happening, today. I will have to supervise their feeding more closely, keep a tighter eye on Mr. Bundy.
Sometimes, I am the most impatient man on the planet, and this impatience often occurs first thing in the morning, when my goal is to be most calm. The computer takes too long to boot up. The coffee takes too long to brew. The dogs won't come inside fast enough from doing their thing. I need to take a chill pill, and enjoy a slow day; fast days will kill you!
If I start to pet Morisson, Bundy will come up and weasel in on the action, but it is not enough for Bundy that he has one had petting, and scratching his head; he looks over at Morisson and wants the hand that is petting and scratching Morisson to be on his head. What a jealous dog.
-----------------------------------------
I'll love you in Heaven
I love you now.
I loved you when we fought.
I loved you when you were my friend.
I loved you when I was young.
I love you now that I'm old.
And if I might be so bold,
as to predict: I'll love you in Heaven.
----------------------------------------------
God didn't get up, this morning…
The internet that I had been stealing from one of my neighbors was taken from me, shortly after noon, today. Bummer…I was hoping to stay on the lamb until I found a new job, but the powers that be have figured me out. They get every penny due them, make sure of that, but leave you scraping.
My apologies to my neighbor: Bro, they are cutting my left hip out in a week or two, and I was trying to save a dime or two, by cutting in on you, and put the spare change towards food in the soon to arrive six week rehab time that my doctors tell me that I will have to go through to make my new metal hip become one with what remains of the old one; so I pulled the plug on my high speed internet service and cable TV, and cut into your bandwidth.
The cable company won't give you a deal on the internet, unless you "bundle it" with their other "services," either cable TV, and, or their telephone service. Whatever happened to competition being good for the consumer? Everybody offers the same services for the same high price.
I think I'm going to go take a crap. I'm the wrong one here, so I'm going to sweat like hell, and start blaming everybody else.
I click on the song, "I Don't Care," by Black Flag.
This song seems appropriate at this time.
(The idea of living on some sort of an artist commune where the cost of the internet is split between Rainbow, Sunshine and me seems like a good one, right this second, as I look around my small apartment, having just struck a deal with the phone company to put the internet back in here, legitimately, sometime on or before Friday. The bastards advertise a less than twenty dollar plan, but then hit you with a hundred buck charge for the modem that you have to have; of course the modem is free if you sign up for the high priced just less than fifty dollar plan.
If Hunter Thompson was alive, he would have something to say about these bastards, but it's hard to lead a revolution when you have put a bullet in your own head. Didn't Abbie Hoffman suffer a similar fate.
There will be no revolution, and your cult heroes are not going to help you start one: they have money for high speed internet, the cable TV, and the phone service, if they want it. Henry Rollins can leave the air conditioning turned on at this place for the whole time that he is out speaking to you, and it would be very small change to him. Sometimes, life just isn't fair.
The Art Commune would be populated by wanna be hippies, the kids and grandkids of the hippies who grew up reading Thompson,
and left home because Abbie Hoffman told them to. The only thing that they might have in common with their parents and grandparents is that they would love smoking dope, and dropping tabs of LSSSSSSSSSSSD onto their tongues, and guzzling mushroom tea, and this might not be good for a recovering black out drunk who was trying to stay sober seventeen years into his recovery plan as, so I'm going to have to figure out a way to continue paying the internet by myself even with my job telling me that I don't have a job when I get back from rehabbing my hip, because "they don't hold part time jobs for 4 to 6 weeks." Hell, ninety percent of the staff is "part time." Do you think they work you right up to the edge of full time hours and then throw you off the clock so that they don't have to pay you decent wages, and give you benefits?
Fuck if I know.
I just know that this old hip of mine is bone on bone, and it keeps getting harder and harder, day by day, to walk on it, and I just want
it out so that I can get back to Yoga, get back to walking my dogs,
get back to walking anywhere without a cane, and extreme pain.
Oh yeah, and I want to find a job, another shitty part time corporate job where they work your ass off, and infuse their corporate fear into you, cuz you wanna be a good slave masser.
What I really want to do is write; and sell that writing so that would and could be all that I do. Now, wouldn't that be Nirvana; and did not Kurt Cobain shoot himself in the head?
----------------------------------------------------
Eating an olive makes me seek water
The moon laughed at me
sleeping, and then slept
Blowing kisses to the air,
makes my cat, Jaggar, come
to attention. He focuses
his gaze at where my hand
should be holding treats to
toss at him.
High Tide on The 45
More and more people kept getting
on the crowded bus in front of me.
Two women stood in front of me.
My hip was hurting me, I could not
give up my seat, today. I might fall.
A young man, about 12, stood up
and gave his seat to one of the women.
I smiled to myself, and thought,
see there is still good in this world.
------------------------------------------
When someone is nice to me
it makes me feel nice
and it makes me want to be nice.
(For Jeff Waller)
The Internet Kissed You Goodbye
The only place that I read magazines
is in The Lobby of Doctors' Offices.
---------------------------------------------
I'll love you in Heaven
but on Earth I turned
the TVs off,
I kept reaching for the
remote
I don't know if you can
feel me, I know that
I can't feel you, so,
I just tell you how I'm
feeling, and then after
we can figure out something
to do.
At times it seems as if Mnemosyne has forsaken me
I scratch my head, still in the bed, in the morning
without warning it comes over me where I am I don't know
at work I smile at someone and say hello and then
a few minutes later I ask them the same questions again
you are my friend I look you in the eye and say why are you following me
too much liquor when I was young I often say that I am
on the run from Alzheimer's whatever the explanation you must excuse my octogenarian behavior when I am but barely fifty.
------------------------------------------------------------
She's a punk rock chick
a glamour girl
I get so giddy when
my girl comes to me.
---------------------------
I spoke at a tree;
It didn't talk back to me.
-----------------------------
"Poets must be willing to take criticism and suggestion
with a smile…"--The Complete Idiot's Guide To Poetry
------------------------------
Someone pulled the plug on them,
as good as throwing them out of a hotel window,
as good as Elvis shooting them.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
There is this girl who semi-regularly comes into the bookstore; and she keeps looking hotter, and hotter, every time that she comes in. Normally, she has this wimpy guy with her, and I figured out tonight that she must be a dominatrix and wimpy boy is her sub.
The Dom had on a tight black top tonight, revealing her ample assets, and high heels that clicked on the floor like they were in charge, making me want to be her dog.
-----------------------------------------------------
It s like: why do I live here, if there is no internet.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm moving to India, cuz that's where all the jobs went.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
There is a point in your night where you have a though that is either the last part of a dream before you wake up, or is the first thought that you have upon waking from that dream. It's a weird time; fuzzy, and your primary interest lies in making it to the bathroom on time.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Part 1 of a Questionable No. of Parts)
i m still the same i m like a turnip i never change
I'm going to be out in San Fran from the fifth of November,
until the tenth, visiting my old pal Earth Mama. We were
chatting a little bit, last night, on the internet, after
I came home from being on the internet at The Bookstore, to
find that the internet of my neighbor's was once againing
supplying me with the free.
Earth Mama:
hey I have like 5 min.
Can you come or should I try to change the ticket?
I really want you to come!
Hola???
I don t see why I couldn't post pone my surgery a week
and come out and limp around with you
Earth Mama:
We could rent a wheel chair!
Mikel K Poet:
You'll be my tour guide, just don't try to give me
any of those crackers from the sixties…
--------------------------------------------------------------
I asked SexKittenRocker, "Where's The Party?"
expecting no reply: these high class gals
just don't want to have anything to do with me.
Who She'd like to meet:
Artistic types who inspire me to keep working
on my own dreams! I'll be your muse, if you'll be mine!
No mention of Poets. Oh, well.
She, actually, turned out to be pretty nice.
Like they say in The Mortgage Business, "Never assume
anything!"
"Financial security is sexy lol,"--A young lady responding
to why women might find Rapstar Lil Wayne attractive.
----------------------------------------------------
I'm going to see a Cardiologist tomorrow.
I've never been to one. It's all part of this
process that I'm part of to get approval
from my Primary Care Physician for the man
to go ahead and cut my left hip out, and
put some metal in there.
They think that I might be anemic.
The kid's mom says that means that I'm
lacking in Iron. I bet that they give me another
pill to take. This one will be full of iron,
and I'll never have to eat spinach. I don't
mind spinach, but I wouldn't much miss it
if I could take a pill instead.
I take a lot of pills. I got more pills to take
than The Pope has got Priests who have
fondled little boys.
-------------------------------------
There is a point in your night where you have a thought that is either the last part of a dream before you wake up, or is the first thought that you have upon waking from that dream. It's a weird time; fuzzy, and your primary interest lies in making it to the bathroom on time.
------------------------------------------------
My beard is itchy this morning. The closer that it gets to Christmas, the more people tell me that I look like Santa. My beard is white; almost pure white like the evil oppressive white devil who is responsible for all evil on the planet. I won't have a job at Christmas. The man is kicking me to the curb. Dear Santa, please pay my utility bills, and phone bill; I have the rent covered. Thank you, Sir.
I got out of the house, last night, which is rare; especially with this painful hip, that I will have until they cut it out. I find myself staying close to the dogs, cats, and turtles, close to my desk.
I have work to do. I have to "be," a writer. It is not enough just to write, I have to find ways to make that writing pay my utility, and phone bill. I am trying, again, to find an agent for my book, "The Delivery Guy." I have vowed to send a query letter to at least one Literary Agent a day, and I am going to submit poems to three different publications a day. This is the business of writing. I am good at the writing part of the game, but I have been, historically, lazy, or not interested in the business end of the game. I love to create, but I hate to beg. Please, please publish my book, and my poems. There, I did; I begged!
My hip keeps getting worse, and worse. Normally it is much easier to ride my bike about the planet, than to walk, even with the cane that I now have in my possession, but, yesterday, the hip caused me a great deal of pain while riding my bike. I am still working; they are going to let me work right up until the operation, but it is getting harder, and harder to get about. They say that you don't appreciate some things until you lose them: I have lost my mobility and I surely miss it. I can't take Yoga, I can't walk my dogs, I can't swim, I can't walk down to the grocery store and buy some flowers to make me smile.
---------------------------------------------------------
The Roman Catholic Church is down on gays. Pedophile priests are ok.
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Notes from http://open.salon.com/blog/mikelkpoet
Damn, Mikel, this causes me shivers. I hate that you have the hip pain. I love your poetry. Internet should be a given.
--Scupper
It's like: why do I live here, if there is no internet?
--mikelkpoet
You sure do have a lot going on inside of you, Mikel.
Thank you so much for sharing it with me.
--lovinfeelin
fuckin fuck, mikel.
yes, he did. but he had an inherent sadness that didnt allow him to see beauty. or maybe, he could see the beauty, but let the ugly be bigger. and he wasnt sober. i wish you could just write too. and i wish your douchebag neighbor didnt steal your stolen internet - i leave my internet open, and currently have two families that use it whenever they can get it to connect, which is fine with me.
i cant wait for your hip to be better, and when it is, a job you like more than the one you have now is going to happen for you. i just feel it. and i find more often than not those feelings count for something.
but i still would like to kick your boss's ass. sorry. that's how i am.
jane smithie redux
Thanks Lovin' I read your first poem, you're on your waaaaaaaay!!
-mikelkpoet
Holly, your letters are getting more and more genius; it's as if you finally don't give a fuck, and are just letting it all hang out; I like that, if there were more people like you around, there would be less shit heads allowed to fuck us, hiding behind their weasel corporations...ha, time to take my meds!
--mikelkpoet
No words I just love how there is so much feeling, so much of you in what you write!
--Lunchlady 2
Thanks Lunch Lady, when your children are grown you will have to reinvent yourself, or at least I did, to fight the impression that you are no longer needed!
Mikel K Poet
OCTOBER 20, 2009 09:57 AM
----------------------------
"I tell you we must die."--Jim Morrison
Boy, this one really came true for ole Jimbo. I guess that if you program into
-----------------------------
So, I was walking the dogs 3 to 5 miles a day, at a decent pace, and I was swimming laps in the pool for about twenty minutes three or four days a week, when I started developing this pain in my inner thigh. I figured that I had pulled a groin muscle, so I started taking it easy, figuring that rest would cure my ailment. It didn't; it kept getting worse, and worse, so I called a Doctor who specializes in that type of thing. He asked me some questions, and then had this hot young thing take some x rays of the affected area.
"You're facing imminent hip replacement surgery in your left hip," he said to me, and then, looking at my mid-section, he said, "Losing some weight would help."
I felt screwed. I felt as if he had told me that I had cancer or aids. The outlook was grim. He gave me a prescription for an anti-inflammatory called.
--------------------------------------
Mostly, I get email from me; copies of things that I send to myself. I don't feel lonely; it's beyond that. I exist in a place that they never told you existed, and I am comfortable here, mostly. Sometimes, though, I long to touch her hand; whoever she is, and wake up to see her smiling in the morning.
------------------------------------------
Mostly, I get email from me; copies of things that I send to myself. I don't feel lonely; it's beyond that. I exist in a place that they never told you existed, and I am comfortable here, mostly. Sometimes, though, I long to touch her hand; whoever she is, and wake up to see her smiling in the morning.
-------------------------------------------
My Primary Care Physician has scheduled an appointment for me, tomorrow, with a cardiologist; they want to see if I have a heart.
------------------------------------------
I went to the heart doctor today; he said that I had a heart, but that he wanted to test it. This is the first time that my heart has been tested outside of love. by anyone who is not a woman
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXP 133
I made my coffee perfect, this morning. I added just the right amount of Stevia, and half and half. It has been cool in this apartment, and I haven't needed the fan that I aim at me, when it is hot, while I sit at my desk; but I miss the noise that it makes, that seems to drown out all the other little noises in the apartment, so I turned the fan back on, this morning, but turned it sideways, so that I get the benefit of the noise, but don't have the cool breeze blowing on me.
The water rushing out of the filter in the turtles' tank sometimes sounds like Niagara Falls. I need to clean the turtles' water, again. It seems like it is always time to clean the turtles' water; dirty little boogers!
Today is Sunday, and I don't work again until Friday. The boss seems to have developed this Friday/Saturday routine for my schedule, which is perfect for me right now, as it is getting harder and harder for me to limp around with this ailing hip, especially on the job, with all that it entails.
One of my immediate bosses is leaving on Thursday. She got a job that is going to pay her double what she is getting from this corporation, that cares not about me. I'm not feeling sorry for myself, this morning, just stating the facts, mam. This boss is leaving apolozizing for how mean she was; she says that the stress got to her. I can, mostly, understand that, if I am in a good mood.
Bundy keeps trying to eat out of Morisson's bowl. Morisson is still a bit skittish about eating around Bundy, right now. Bundy can be a bully. Jaggar keeps approaching Morisson's bowl, also. Even the cat can scare Morisson away from his food. Morisson is a wimp, but I love him with all my heart and soul.
Jaggar is actually eating some of Morisson's dog food, right now. Have you ever seen a cat eat dog food?
*******
It is simply awful when you get to work and you realize that your shirt smells like cat pee. I hang my shirts high in the closet, so I don't see how Jaggar, or Kobain, could have gotten to my shirt, but there are times when I come home from work and I throw my shirt on the bed, or on the seat of a chair; that must be when they found their opportunity.
My Animals Are Not Angels
As I have told you, it is normally my dog, Morisson, who is a wimpy dog, when it comes to stepping up to his dog bowl, and claiming what is his. Tonight, though, Mr. Alpha Dog Bundy, who is usually the one getting Morisson to back down from his food, let a cat, Jaggar the Black Cat put him off from his dinner. Because Jaggar was eating his food, Bundy slithered away like a wimp to the underside of my desk, which is usually where he hangs out, and is always where he hangs out when I say to him, "Go Home."
Jaggar seems to have developed a taste for dog food, and he doesn't care whose dog bowl that he eats it out of. Now, I have an Alpha Cat on my hands, or so it seems.
*******
Leah was the ancestral mother of Jesus.
Bombings, and killings, are mostly the headlines that I run across reading the news on the internet, these days; never peace and love, never one man helped another man out; just that one man killed another man in war.
Having to call American Corporations, in the morning, ruins my serenity.
Press One if you are English, it begins, and then you talk to a computer for five minutes before being allowed to wait ten minutes to finally reach a real person, to talk to about your problems, who often doesn't speak very good English.
You wish that you could press one to get someone that you understand, but you understand that these big corporations have outsourced American jobs to foreign countries, because they are patriotic as hell, and support the war effort.
Now there's a job that is opening up for more kids today: Soldier. We need more, and more.
*******
Dear Facebook: So, after looking in my reflection in her high school window, while waiting for her, I asked Scout if I looked, "Artistic, or like a homeless man," and she said, "Like a homeless man..." Her mom has been wanting me to shave, but I have said to myself that I am not shaving until I get a book deal. Hmmmmmmm.
I think that Scout makes an art out of not doing her homework when she decides that hanging out with her pals, or catching up on some sleep, is more important.
One week, she will be knee deep in her books, obviously on her way to college, and the next week it is, "No, no, no," when I ask her if she has any homework; headed for a job in the school cafeteria, making pizza for the six graders, i.e. working long, hard hours for little money.
*******
Jesus is going to forgive me for my sins, but most of his followers won't. Am I wrong to assume that? Yes, I am. I have no idea what most of his followers would do, and I will never be in the position to find out. Hopefully.
---------------------------------------------
Do I have a heart?
I fed the animals immediately, this morning, mingling in the making of my morning cup of coffee, and, right as I was about to take my first sip of the divine nectar, I remembered that the people from the Heart Doctor's office had said, "No Caffeine."
Bummer I thought to myself, glad that I had remembered what they had said sooner than later.
Can you imagine me on the Cardiologist's treadmill soaked in caffeine, "Why your heart rate is very high, Mr. K, you can't have this new hip."
Morrison is trying to pry my arm away from the laptop. I pet him a little bit, and feel guilty that I am not giving him more attention, that this laptop is often my priority.
One day Morisson will pass, and I may regret all the opportunities that I let go to scratch his head, or to rub his butt because I was ruthlessly pursuing the word.
*******
Cyndi Craven: What will you do with your old hip? Maybe you can sell it on eBay?
Mikel K Poet: Well, I thought that since I am going to be cremated that I should save it, because my new metal one will, most likely, not burn; do you have a freezer in your garage that I could store it in until I die?
*******
Bundy likes to lay down on the floor next to me, when I sleep, in the spot that Morisson occupied for so very long. I would rather have Morisson in that spot for several reasons: one reason is that Morisson is being semi-bullied out of the spot by Bundy, and I don't like to see Morisson bullied, and, two, Bundy does not get up and move when I get up out of the bed; he makes me step over him, in the middle of the night, and when I am groggy, first thing in the morning.
Morisson always moves at the first hint that I am getting up out of bed, when he is in that spot. I am scared that I am going to get hurt stepping over Bundy, but he doesn't seem to care. He thinks that the spot on the floor next to my bed is his spot, and that he can do whatever he likes there. I should probably work on changing his thinking about this.
I love it, in the morning, when the cats are sitting dutifully next to each other, sitting at attention next to their empty food bowls, waiting for me to scoop the bowls up, and put some morning wet food snack in the bowls for them. There is something beautiful in this, something that makes me feel wanted, and loved.
The dogs always gather around the hand of mine that seems to be dangling off of the bed, when I wake in the morning. They expect to be petted, and played with while I am still semi-asleep.
Most mornings, I honor their request. I make one hand pet two dog heads, and it makes them happy. This morning, though I woke with one foot dangling off of the bed. The dogs did not care that my foot was not a hand. They rubbed their heads into it anyway. I found this weird.
I learned a new thing about Monkey, the basically stray cat, who I feed breakfast every morning, and snacks every evening. Monkey does not come get his food when I blow kisses, as I had thought; Monkey comes running to our door the minute that I come out of our inner door. She hears that door open, and that is her cue that something good is about to be put in her bowl. Cats will outwit you, that is for certain, and I am pretty sure that Monkey is smarter than I am.
*******
Since I have spent much of my time in the last two years, saying, "No Bundy. Yes Bundy. Bundy do this. Bundy don't do that," I often find myself calling my dog Morisson, "Bundy." He doesn't seem to mind, unlike a girlfriend would if you called her someone else's name; but it kind of irritates me. Bundy has taken up so much of my time, and efforts that I, sometimes, feel like Morisson has gotten ignored, has become a second class citizen of sorts.
The same thing happened to my dog Javi, when Morisson showed up, so I guess there is a natural pecking order that must be followed when dogs are joining your existence at their whim, or the whim of the great dog God, when you already have another or other dogs.
You have to spend time with the dog that needs the most time. It's not really a matter of ignoring anybody. Morisson knows that he is loved, just as Javi knew that he was loved when Morisson showed up and needed to be trained, and showered with lots of love. I am not expecting another dog to join us, but if he, or she, does, Bundy would have to understand that he no longer gets the most time from me. Wow, that would be an interesting thing to see: Bundy sharing time!
*******
The cats are peeing in the bathtub, which means that they are telling me that their kitty litter needs to be changed. Cat pee is not the nicest smell to have hit you in the face, when you are naked, and anticipating the comfort of having hot water cover your stinky body. Soaping up just isn't as pleasant when your cats are using your bath tub as their litter box.
-------------------------------------------
Fall Back
The bookstore had me be, "The Greeter," tonight, for my first hour on the clock, which means that I stand at the front of the store, smile at people, and say hello when they enter, and try to get them to sign up for book raffles, or get them to sign up for books in advance of their arrival in the store. I also hand them coupons, or fliers when we have them. Most people who work at the bookstore hate this job. I don't mind being the greeter; it gives me a break from the Cafe, where I normally work, making coffee drinks for the mass of man, and woman, and, usually, as the greeter, I wind up running into someone I know, and I talk to them for most of the hour that I am up there.
Tonight, the store had provided a small amount of candy to give to kids. I scarfed on a couple of packages of malt balls to start my shift. Since my kids no longer live with me, I have to go elsewhere to steal Halloween candy from children. Candy is candy, and a man with a sweet tooth like I have, doesn't care which kids he is stealing candy from. Csndy is candy and that sweet tooth has to be satisfied.
I got some weird responses, tonight, when I asked the parents of small children if their kids would like some candy:
"No thanks; he doesn't need any, he'll get more than he needs later."
"He doesn't like candy..."
"She doesn't GET candy."
Since these folks would not let their kids have any candy, I kept going into the box that contained the candy and getting me some. I usually don't like gum, but these two pieces of Double Bubble that I nabbed, and popped in my mouth were especially tasty.
When I was a small child, I remember my mother telling me that, "The stolen fruit was always the sweetest." Though I didn't, and don't, really get much else about her, in this case, I think that I know what she was talking about.
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I'm never quite sure who has the last few swallows of the wet cat food that I set out for my cats, each morning, the cats for whom it was intended, or the dogs who are so adept at sneaking up and quickly downing those last few bites that the cats often leave in the bowl. The dogs know that if they get caught in the cat bowls that they will get hollered at, but they are willing to take the risk; such is a dog's lust for cat food, most any food, actually. A cat will leave food in their bowl, where a dog almost never will, and I can tell who finished off the cat food by how clean the bowls are.
My dogs will eat olives. They will eat pickles, and most unique of all, I think, they will eat ice. My dogs love ice. They catch it in the air like it was a baseball tossed to a professional in The World Series, and then they run off with it, to the other side of this small apartment. I can then hear them crunching it, crunching it, crunching it. My dogs love ice, and I am not sure why. I do know that it is a very cheap snack, and that I have an endless supply of it to give them; all I have to do is keep filling up the ice cube containers with water from the sink.
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Jaggar has gotten up on my desk and is laying down on the papers that have accumulated in front of my laptop over the last few day: phone numbers, email address, parts of poems and stories that I have written while at work. Jaggar lays in these papers, as if they are comfortable bed. I smile and think of all the comfortable places that I have set up for him and Kobain to lay on around the apartment; the pillow at the foot of my bed, the comforter in the window sill, and here he is laying around on the email address to a woman who I found quite attractive the other night at work, and who seemed receptive to me, receptive enough, anyway, to give me her email address.
At one point, Jaggar sits up and starts staring at Prynce, and Rue Paul. The turtles don't seem to amaze him, as much as kick in some sort of I'd like to have turtle soup instinct. The turtles are well protected in their home; I know, I have closely watched Kobain try to get in the aquarium with them. If Kobain can't do it, the turtles are safe from all cats.
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Jaggar is an addict. He spends a lot of his time sitting on the kitchen floor underneath the silverware drawer, looking up at the drawer, because that is where I keep the tuna flavored moist treats that he is addicted to. I try to make a game of giving him his fix, throwing the treats in different directions on the kitchen floor, but Jaggar doesn't think of it as a game, I really believe, that he sees it as running down something that he has to have.
Kobain likes the treats, but he is not strung out on them, like Jaggar. He, mostly, only shows interest in them if you place the treat at his feet, and make it easy for him to eat.
It was wintrily cold outside, this early November morning, I discovered, when I opened the door to go outside with the dogs. Bundy took care of business, right away, and then headed immediately back to the house without even being asked to.
No, "Bundy let's go home, Bundy let's go home," was said, this morning. Morisson got right in line behind Bundy, and went home right away, also. On nice days, the dogs will linger outside, acting like they don't hear me asking, or pleading with them, to go home, but when it is near icicle weather, or wet out, they do their thing and then head back for the warmth of the abode, almost immediately.
Bundy, as usual, was waiting to the side of my bed, when I got up this morning. Basically, he demands a head rub, or a head scratch before I am allowed to leave the bed, after a night's sleep. Morisson spends the day next to me, at my feet to the side of my chair. Each dog has their own special way of getting my love.
I am full of that huge feeling of accomplishment that comes to me when I finish reading a book. Some men take pride in making another million dollars, I am happy that I just finished reading Augusten Burrough's most recent book.
There is a new dog in the hood, a loud one, and Bundy's instinct is to growl at the new dog, and bark back; you know show that dog who is boss. What a pretty day.
I'm having a salad, tonight for dinner, a spinach salad, specifically, because my doctor says that I am anemic, and my daughter's biological father, Kevin, says that if I eat a big spinach salad three times a week, I should have the remedy to my situation that needs to be remedied.
I wish that I had all the fixings to go with the salad like onions, and mushrooms, and bell peppers, but I don't have the money for all that right now. I'm not complaining; I feel blessed to have the leaves and the salad dressing, though whoever manufactures salad dressing pisses me off because no matter how slow you try to pour the dressing out of the bottle, half the bottle still comes rushing out, which is good for salad dressing sales, but bad for my diabetes.
The factory, i.e. the coffee shop that I take what they give in, called, last night, and asked if I could come in, today. I never answer the phone when the factory calls: I always let the voice mail see what they want; that gives me time to mull over my decision, and to formulate a reply to whatever it is that they have called about, which is usually can I come in and cover a shift because someone has called in and said that they can't make it.
In this instance, I decided to call them back and tell them that I would come in to work today, one of my days off, mainly because I have five days off this week, and the hours that they were looking for me to fill were decent. My hip is in such a situation that I can't work 90 hours a week, but the extra money that I will get will help defray this exorbitant utility bill that just came to stalk me in the mail.
This job has never scheduled me for more than 12-15 hours, which is perfect for my current my hip is about to be replaced lifestyle. A perfect situation is always what I seek in life.
Morisson just put both paws on my left knee, lifted himself up, and tried to kiss me. I guess that my dog is feeling especially lovey dovey this morning. I know that he doesn't have to go outside to use the facility, because we were just out there.
It looks like a nice sun-shiney day outside. I am happy to be alive. Thank you, Lord, for letting me see the new day, breath the air of another day. Guide me in thought, word, and action, Lord; please keep me off drugs, alcohol and cigarettes.
Amen.
Jaggar has discovered the papers on my desk. Right now he is luxuriating on top of the rough draft of a poem that I wrote several days ago, that has been waiting for me to finish it, and transcribe it onto this computer. I will have to be careful what I leave on my desk. Some papers do not need to have my cat sit on the and crinkle them.
I think that it is awful, pitiful even, that there is mercury in our fish, and that you have to be careful how many cans of tuna that you eat, so that your tuna consumption does not poison you. Man is supposed to be intelligent, but greed overcomes his intelligence, and he does stupid things like pour waste materials into our beautiful ocean that poison our fish. I am not eating meat, these days, and I am trying to not eat fish, but still…
Last night, a person driving a very yuppie car leaned on the horn when I rode my bike in front of them, when they they I shouldn't have, but I know full well that I was well within all my bicycle rights to do what I did. I didn't shoot them a bird, or yell at them(I'm almost fully in control of my emotions, now,) but I did get in the middle of the lane in front of them, and ride my bicycle very slowly, so that they could not get around me.
I have risen very early this morning, 4:30 a.m., have barely had time to make a cup of coffee, and Jaggar has already pointed out to me that he would like something placed in his wet food cat food bowl, and that I need to put water in the bowl that serves all the animals. I am amazed that Jaggar is a male cat, for it is usually a female that points out all my shortcomings, and tells me what I need to do.
I have decided to quit being angry about the fact that my job will not be there for me when I get back from my four to six week recovery from hip surgery period. I have decided that I am going to write my boss a letter, and thank her for all she has done for me, even though she has been mean to me, at times, during my stay on this job. Anger, and resentment, are two things that I have fought for years, and I do not want them to creep back into my existence, whatever the reason, whatever the excuse. I have learned that there is always something good to come out of something back, that as one of my fortune cookies, once told me that, "it is always darkest before the dawn." Last night, a co-worker and I joked about hurting the evil corporation where it is most vulnerable, that is damaging its profits. We joked about destroying the espresso machine, and disabling the copier. We laughed about giving away everything, instead of taking money from people. Ha, ha.
It's five a.m. and Morisson is dutifully at his position by my side. You think that he would be laying on the floor, or still sleeping, but no…he is next to me, waiting for me to slide my hand onto this head and start petting him, and scratching him. What a loyal dog. I love him so.
Jaggar is an addict. He spends a lot of his time sitting on the kitchen floor underneath the silverware drawer, looking up at the drawer, because that is where I keep the tuna flavored moist treats that he is addicted to. I try to make a game of giving him his fix, throwing the treats in different directions on the kitchen floor, but Jaggar doesn't think of it as a game, I really believe, that he sees it as running down something that he has to have.
Kobain likes the treats, but he is not strung out on them, like Jaggar. He, mostly, only shows interest in them if you place the treat at his feet, and make it easy for him to eat.
It was wintrily cold outside, this early November morning, I discovered, when I opened the door to go outside with the dogs. Bundy took care of business, right away, and then headed immediately back to the house without even being asked to.
No, "Bundy let's go home, Bundy let's go home," was said, this morning. Morisson got right in line behind Bundy, and went home right away, also. On nice days, the dogs will linger outside, acting like they don't hear me asking, or pleading with them, to go home, but when it is near icicle weather, or wet out, they do their thing and then head back for the warmth of the abode, almost immediately.
Bundy, as usual, was waiting to the side of my bed, when I got up this morning. Basically, he demands a head rub, or a head scratch before I am allowed to leave the bed, after a night's sleep. Morisson spends the day next to me, at my feet to the side of my chair. Each dog has their own special way of getting my love.
I am full of that huge feeling of accomplishment that comes to me when I finish reading a book. Some men take pride in making another million dollars, I am happy that I just finished reading Augusten Burrough's most recent book.
There is a new dog in the hood, a loud one, and Bundy's instinct is to growl at the new dog, and bark back; you know show that dog who is boss. What a pretty day.
I'm having a salad, tonight for dinner, a spinach salad, specifically, because my doctor says that I am anemic, and my daughter's biological father, Kevin, says that if I eat a big spinach salad three times a week, I should have the remedy to my situation that needs to be remedied.
I wish that I had all the fixings to go with the salad like onions, and mushrooms, and bell peppers, but I don't have the money for all that right now. I'm not complaining; I feel blessed to have the leaves and the salad dressing, though whoever manufactures salad dressing pisses me off because no matter how slow you try to pour the dressing out of the bottle, half the bottle still comes rushing out, which is good for salad dressing sales, but bad for my diabetes.
The factory, i.e. the coffee shop that I take what they give in, called, last night, and asked if I could come in, today. I never answer the phone when the factory calls: I always let the voice mail see what they want; that gives me time to mull over my decision, and to formulate a reply to whatever it is that they have called about, which is usually can I come in and cover a shift because someone has called in and said that they can't make it.
In this instance, I decided to call them back and tell them that I would come in to work today, one of my days off, mainly because I have five days off this week, and the hours that they were looking for me to fill were decent. My hip is in such a situation that I can't work 90 hours a week, but the extra money that I will get will help defray this exorbitant utility bill that just came to stalk me in the mail.
This job has never scheduled me for more than 12-15 hours, which is perfect for my current my hip is about to be replaced lifestyle. A perfect situation is always what I seek in life.
Morisson just put both paws on my left knee, lifted himself up, and tried to kiss me. I guess that my dog is feeling especially lovey dovey this morning. I know that he doesn't have to go outside to use the facility, because we were just out there.
It looks like a nice sun-shiney day outside. I am happy to be alive. Thank you, Lord, for letting me see the new day, breath the air of another day. Guide me in thought, word, and action, Lord; please keep me off drugs, alcohol and cigarettes. Amen.
They are mean women working for a vicious corporation. Karma is catching up to them, and they will all soon be on the sidewalk. Yeah, right; unfortunately people like them never get what they deserve. I take that back. That is the angry me speaking. The corporation takes nice people and instills fear in them, and makes nice people do things that they would never ever do: like be mean to other people in the name of a buck, in the name of that almighty buck that the corporation worships more than it worships God. There is no God to The Corporation, there is only the buck. The Corporation already has excess bucks, but it can never be satisfied; it always wants more, more, more, and it will do anything, manipulate anyone, step on anyone to get them. The Corporation is evil, but people worship it. People have been taught that making the almighty buck in any way, shape, or fashion is o.k.
It's not.
The cats gather by the front door
looking out at a world that they
used to be a part of. They are not
allowed to be outside cats, anymore;
the new abode is situated too close
to traffic, and their owner doesn't
want the to get splatted by a car.
I figure that her phone must be like everyone else's, that it sees my phone number when I call, and that she will have that number to call me back if she wants to. Of course, she may not want to; that is one of the big risks that you take when you call a woman: rejection. Nobody wants to be rejected, but if you don't face rejection in the face, if you don't stare it down, and tell it that you not scared of it, or at least, that you are willing to transcend that fear for as long as a phone call takes, you will never get anywhere with women, or, at least, you will never get anywhere calling them on the phone. I hate voicemail, or, at the least, I hate talking to voice mail, but I did pretty good, this morning. I probably came off as a little nervous, which I was, but I also demonstrated a strong degree of humor. I know that she likes my sense of humor; that is one reason that I called her. Another is that we have become friends. We work together, and I have told her, truthfully, that she is probably the best person that I have ever worked with. She's too young for me. She's got kids, and a family, and all that ahead of her. I have already done all that, and have tied the tubes. Thirty years is a big difference. I'm old enough to be her father, scratch that; I'm old enough to be her grandfather. I can't even imagine being in bed with her. It would be like incest. I doubt that she will call back. She'll use the excuse that she didn't have my number, but really she'll be thinking why is this dirty old man calling me. He must want to go to bed with me.
One Sunday morning my dad got angry, as he was often wont to do, and decided to teach me a lesson. "Come here," he said, and he lead me into the bathroom. "Do you see this? he said, and grabbed me by the back of my head and pushed my face inside the toilet boil, "Do you see what I have to clean up after you? I am tired of having to clean up after you." I didn't know what to say, and didn't have much of a chance to say it. My father thrust a toilet bowl cleaning brush in my hands, and stalked out of the room. I don't think I cried. I did tremble, though. The good thing about this is that it felt so bad that I never did it to my kids. That lousy thing ended in our family history right there, as it should have, and I am glad that it did.
Her picture looks good. Her picture looks really good, but she is diseased. She is diseased of the mind, and she is diseased of the body. You can't really blame her for having the disease of the body. Someone who she loved gave it to her. He went out and got it somewhere else, and then brought it home to her, without telling her, and now it is hers for life. She cries about it. She has to tell everyone that she has it before she makes love to them. She does not want to lie to them like the one she loved lied to her by saying nothing. It is possible for the disease of her mind to be eradicated, but it won't be any time soon. She is not in what they call denial. She does not deny that her mind is diseased, but she wants no part of the solution, at least right now, so she will stay diseased. Enjoy her picture, but be wary, she is diseased.
She is tired of collecting things; men specifically. She can go through her photo album, and it is full of happy, handsome, smiling faces; faces that didn't make it in her life. There is no happy, handsome, smiling face in her life, now, but only because she has chosen to take a break. She could go to the grocery store, or a coffee shop, or a gas station and, almost immediately see a handsome, seemingly happy, smiling face, smiling at her, and all she would have to do is to say hello, and soon he would be a picture in her photo album.
Mary Anne told me, yesterday, that she had just gotten Sylvia Plath's autograph. She showed it to me even, and me not knowing what Sylvia Plath's autograph looked like, just smiled at Mary Anne. Whenever Mary Anne comes to me with an authograph from someone, usually a poet, usually a female and always dead, I know that she is not taking her medication.
I need more friends. I need more money. I need more food in the refrigerator. I need more toilet paper. I am out of meds. I need more toothpaste. I need razor blades. I need a new computer. I need more computer paper. I need batteries for my camera. I need a new camera. I need a girl friend. I need a car. I need new clothes. I need socks. I need new underwear. I'm not making any of this up.
I sent a heartfelt letter to the DSL company telling them how great this guy was who they sent out to the house, last week to fix my high speed internet, that, before he arrived, was moving very slowly. The guy that they sent was friendly, he was knowledgeable, and professional, I mean he practically walked on water, and I sent an email to his bosses telling them so, and within seconds I got an email back from them saying, "thank you;" a form letter, a letter that everybody who writes to them gets. What's wrong with this county? Whatever happened to the human touch?
I hate leaf blowers, and lawn edgers passionately, and anyone that turns one on, and uses it in my ear range at 8:02 a.m. like they are doing now, should be taken out, and shot, or at least arrested, and kept in jail for several years. Who invented these obnoxious machines? When I walk by a lawn edger, I live in perpetual fear that the thing is going to blow a hard object into my eye, and blind me, or my brain and kill me. It looks like a very dangerous thing, and I know it is. I know that if I Google, "death by lawn edger," that the numbers that I will find of dead, or seriously maimed people, will be long. And where do these guys(I never see girls using leaf blowers, or lawn edgers; they are much too smart)actually blow the leaves to that they are blowing. As far as I can tell they either blow them into a neighbor's house, or down the street. How politically correct is that. Again, I say death to these people, and or hefty prison sentences. How dare they mess with my early morning piece of mind.
I've learned that giving your CD to famous people does nothing for your musical career. Dale W. Miller, and I, gave a copy of our Mikel K Band, "Sober," CD to just about everybody famous who came to town, during that era when we were pushing that CD, or at least we gave it to Henry Rollins, and Jim Carrol, and they didn't hook us up with anything, like the fame, and success, that they had, which proves, somehow, that you have to go out there and get your own fame, and success, and you can't depend on some famous and successful person to get it for you.
Dear Facebook:
I have the luxury of eating three eggs in a burrito topped with mayo and hot chili sauce, and not, possibly, get my leg blown off while walking down a road in Iraq, or Afghanistan. I get to sip on hot tea with milk, safely, in my warm apartment. I am blessed, and I pray for those who are not, for whatever good it will do. Does prayer ever stop war?
Dear Facebook:
I've told you that I LOVE days off, and I do LOVE days off: nowhere to be at any particular time, no shower to rush into, no frantic bike ride fighting the pain in my hip. I'm going to San Fran, next week, to see my ole gal Darbi, and her new, well new to me, daughter Charli, and I'll visit with Penny and her family. It is funny how I get along better/best with woman as ex's!!!
Did I tell you that I had a drinking problem. Well, I guess that I still have it, if I pick up a drink, but I haven't picked up a drink in almost eighteen years. It's a miracle really. I spent almost twenty years drunk, going in and out of drunk tanks, and mental institutions fairly frequently towards the end of my boozing,
and, now, I have spent almost twenty years sober.
Three of those drunk years I spent with a lady named Penny. She was drunk, also. We were a perfect match for each other in those days.
MAJOR BREAKTHROUGH: Jaggar, my anti-social cat slept on top of my feet, last night, laying on the comforter that was warming my feet. This is major news.
Jaggar hardly ever comes within touching distance of anything human, including me, his loving master, the one who feeds him, whispers to him, and whistles at him, all the time, even though he always ignores me.
(Dear Facebook: Jaggar, my anti-social cat, slept between my feet. last night, laying on top of the comforter that was laying on top of my feet. This is BIG NEWS; Jagger never comes near anything human, including me, his humble master who feeds him, whispers to him, and whistles at him, knowing that I will get no response in return. I am very happy.)
I found it oxymoronic that the girl on the poster on the back of the bus telling people that they, too, can lead smoke free lives was getting covered in smoke from the bus's exhaust pipe.
It is a whole new experience in many ways walking with a cane. When I got on the bus, this morning, a young girl moved, fast, out of her seat in the handicapped section making room for me to sit down. Peope often hold the door for me, as I leave the bus, when I am holding the cane.
I love crunching crisp leaves with my foot, or with the front wheel of my bicyle.
"I had some dreams, they were clouds in my coffee."
--Carly Simon
You walked into the party like you were walking onto a yacht
Your hat strategically dipped below one eye
Your scarf it was apricot
You had one eye in the mirror as you watched yourself gavotte
And all the girls dreamed that they'd be your partner
They'd be your partner, and...
--Carly Simon
In my living space, I am not the cleanest guy in the world. I grew up in what I call a "Better Homes and Garden" house, a place where I had to leave my shoes at the door before I walked in the house, a place where it got so that I couldn't go upstairs to my room but once in a day, that being when it was bedtime, because my father said that I was putting, "wear and tear," on his carpet, that being the carpet that covered the stairs that lead to my bedroom. I also could only take a shower once a week, because my father said that I "dirtied up" his shower. Coming from an environment like that, you'll have to excuse me if I rebel just a bit against having a spotlessly clean house. Oh yeah, I wasn't allowed to go in the living room, either, yes, again because my presence there would make it somehow unclean.
A woman who came to visit me recently called my place a "dump." That was it for her, really, because even if the place is "a dump," she should have more tact than that. Just because she can eat toast off her toilet seat doesn't mean that we all want to. The funny thing about this is the next woman who came over here found the place "comfortable," and would visit quite often, until it became quite obvious that neither one of us was suited for the other. She was looking to have more babies; she already had a daughter, and I was done having babies; mine were mostly grown, and I was looking forward to pursuing poetry full time, perhaps even getting an MFA in it. I had changed my last diaper, was the way that I was looking at it.
I am not the kind of guy, however, who leaves dirty socks and unclean underwear on his floor. My socks and underwear have always found their way into a hamper of some sort, that is, until now. Now, my hip is bone on bone, and I am going through a lot of pain with that, and will continue to go through pain with that until I go through the hip replacement surgery that is looming in my immediate future. So, if you come over to my place before I have had my hip replacement surgery, let me apologize in advance for the fact that you may well have to step over stinky socks and sweat stained underwear, as you walk about my apartment. It just has to be that way for now.
People ask me how did I wear out my hip: arthritis is the answer, and arthritis is mostly a hereditary thing. My dad who wouldn't much let me shower, seems to have handed me down arthritis, as well as alcoholism, dandruff, and psoriasis, all of which I will get into later. Also, I have a weight problem. I am about fifty pounds overweight, the funny thing about that being that I did not put on all this excess weight until I gave up drinking. You think that one would be healthy as hell, having put down the bottle, but I guess poor eating habits added up to a fat tummy. Fast food may be convenient for a singles life style, but for me it lead to far more weight than is healthy, which resulted in diabetes, which my dad may have also given me. I am being easy on my mother for her role in all this hereditary crap, because, right now, I am not thinking about how mean and lousy she was to me. My father far surpassed her in this category. Looking back on it, I have to think that my father was undiagnosed bi-polar, which, by the way, is something else that he gave to me.
"You walked into the party like you were walking onto a yacht
Your hat strategically dipped below one eye
Your scarf it was apricot
You had one eye in the mirror as you watched yourself gavotte
And all the girls dreamed that they'd be your partner
They'd be your partner, and..."
--Carly Simon
I'm so vain, some people have complained, especially when it comes to the written word, and my existence on the internet. I am quite a social net worker; I was addicted to My Space, before they kicked me off, and I am addicted to Face Book, which they may be in the process of kicking me off of. I am not vain when it comes to my writing, but I am superbly confident of it. Hell, I have been at it for almost 30 years; I would hope that I have gained some proficiency in it.
My Space gave me the boot because of a poem that I wrote that one person complained about. I was up to 5,000 friends on My Space, most of them women in Europe. When it came to My Space, I was using Van Halen Theory, in that if you get the women to show up, the men will follow. Also, there seems to me to be something stupid about asking a man to read your poem, that there isn't in asking a woman. I hope that I am not being sexist here, or discriminatory or whatever. The thing that pissed me off about being booted by My Space was that there was no recourse. Four thousand and ninety nine people did not complain about that poem; one did, and I got thrown out. To me, it seems like the same type of weird fascism that permeates The Fox Network, and most of us know what My Space and The Fox Network have in common.
Anyway, I really love the song, "You're So Vain," and I really love Carly Simon. There is something about her that is just so cool. I was reading, the other day, about how she wrote, "Your So Vain," how she took a bit from her notebook, and then added it to bits and pieces that came to her from other places. I understand this process for it is how I have written much of my poetry.
You're so vain, you probably think this song is about you
You're so vain, I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't You?
Sigh, I wish the song was about me, but I was a day late, at least, and many dollars short to have gotten that one written about me!
Major Breakthrough: Jaggar slept next to me, on the bed last night, and even let me pet him a bit, without him trying to bite and claw me, or running off. I don't know what is getting into this cat, but bit by bit, he is getting a little bit friendlier. My animals never cease to amaze me; just when you think that they are fully developed, and set in their ways, they prove you wrong and do something that amazes you.
I haven't eaten meat in a little over a year, now; which is quite amazing in that I ate it for fifty years. I don't like the way the corporations raise and kill the animals. I think that it is disgusting; anything for a buck is their deal, and any sign of humanity is lost in the process of bringing us food. Sometimes I crave ribs, or a fast food burger, layered with onions, cheese, and mayonnaise, but the craving passes. An animal does not have to die so that I can eat, and I am happy about this.
The guy living next door got foreclosed on. One day he brings me a small bag of cat food, and a single can of wet cat food and he asks me to feed this cat that he says mainly lives outside, but that he's been feeding for nine years. "It's gotten to where she will sleep at the foot of my bed," he says, and he takes off. About a month later, he comes back for a few, says hey and hands me five dollars. The guy is a nice guy; I like him, but I'm thinking man he is not paying me enough to feed his cat. I've got two cats already; I don't need another mouth to feed. Keep in mind that there is a recession that maybe Bush started, and that Obama, maybe, can't do anything about; I'm on food stamps, working a part time job, anywhere from 8 to 15 hours a week, depending on the mood of the boss, and I get a check for being crazy, make that bi-polar. So this cat, whose name is Monkey starts rubbing up on my leg. She won't let me pet her, or hold her, but she likes to rub up on my leg, and I start thinking hey this cat is alright. Next thing I know, a year has almost gone by and I'm still feeding Monkey; she gets a bowl of food every morning right after I feed my cats.
This morning Monkey seemed jittery. She kept looking over her shoulder. I saw the black cat hiding in a bush. Monkey ran off, and the black cat jumped up to where Monkey's bowl was. The cat didn't look like a street cat. I wasn't sure what to do. Should I scare the cat off, or should I let it eat. Should I try to interfere or should I let the two cats work out any differences between them. When it comes to human, I have learned that I am not God, so I decided to take that approach with the cats. I sat there and watched the black cat eat for awhile. He must have been hungry, because he, or she, didn't run off when I got up from my chair; the cat kept eating. I went inside to clean out my turtles' tank. I was headed to San Francisco for five days, and I wanted their water clean while I was gone. I checked back on the cat's food bowl after I had dumped the turtles' water. The black cat had not ate it all. Monkey showed up while I was there, and started meowing. I didn't know if she was pissed that the other cat had eaten out of her bowl, or if she was begging for more food. My new rule that I had just made up was that no matter how many cats showed up and ate out of that small bowl that was all they were getting, Monkey included, once a day.
When I clean the turtles' water, I carry the aquarium into the bathtub so that I can rinse out the little brown pebbles that sit at the bottom of the tank. Today, I almost hurt myself because my leg from my knee up through my hip on my left side is almost useless because of my shot out hip. I cracked the glass at one end of the tank, which was quite aggravating. I didn't know if I had cracked it enough for it to leak or not, and here I was leaving for five days.
The older that your kids get, the less that you see of them; at least that is the way that it is for me.
A lady from the Doctor's office called, yesterday, and said that my hip replacement surgery will take place in three weeks. I have never had surgery before, but I am really looking forward to this two hour session. I will be knocked out for the length of the surgery, and I have no idea how I will feel once I am brought back around by the anesthesiologist. I probably won't feel great; I will be groggy, and in a bit of pain, I would think.
Right now, I am in constant pain. My left leg is, basically, useless. I kind of drag it along with me, wherever I go, leaning on a cane, or depending on my bike to get me places because it is less painful to ride the bike than it is to walk.
This whole bum hip thing has been a very humiliating experience. I have learned a lot about myself, and I have learned a lot about living with pain. I have, also, learned to notice people around me who are in the same, or worse shape than myself: people on canes, people in wheelchairs, and people limping get a lot more attention from me than they ever did. Seeing them usually makes me feel less sorry for myself, and my situation.
Knowing that others are suffering the same as I, or worse, is a very humbling experience. I don't know that I feel sorry for myself, but I do know that I have gotten angry over the situation, at times, kind of a, "Why me? Why me? type of thing.
I am sure that I will have many more challenges placed in front of me, as I further age. I am glad that the challenge of having a bad hip is coming to an end. I have heard marvelous things about hip replacement surgery, and what it has done for folks in pain with bad hips.
It is weird to thing that my hip is going to be cut out of me. I want to be cremated, when I die; should I get my old hip from my Doctor, after the operation, and stick it in the refrigerator until I pass away so that it can be added to the rest of me and burned also?
The Grocery Store was full of well-dressed, good looking folks, today; and me. I haven't showered in a couple of days, my hair is long and scraggy, and unwashed, in the aforementioned two days, and my beard belies the fact that I don't have much of a job.
There was no one in the grocery store who looked like a musician, or artist. There was a gathering of unfriendly men and women getting the jump on buying things for Thanksgiving: the holiday was three weeks out, and these folks were, already, stocking their freezers, loading their refrigerators, and padding their pantries in anticipation of, um, giving thanks.
Isn't it weirdly, and awfully, funny, to beat nearly beat someone over the head with a turkey drumstick, in a fight for the primmest whole turkey, or the last box of stuffing, that will be eaten on a day where, allegedly, gratitude is the driving motivation?
If I was still prone to trust my first opinion, I would have to say that they were a mean, and mercenary bunch, but I don't know them all that well, and I have learned in my five decades plus two years on the planet, that you can't tell how a person is, by the way that they look.
I somehow feel more comfortable around lower income people, though; at least they will smile at you, say hello, and move their cart when you want to pass them as they stand in front of a particular product for a half hour trying to make that all important purchase decision.
My ailing hip, the one that will be replaced on December 7 at one p.m. has put me in some strange places, and this was one of them. Had I been able to run, or even walk, I would have walked, or ran, away from this place, and these people, and done my shopping at another place and time; besides I don't eat turkey any more.
This woman from the internet called me, and when I told her that I had no friends, she said, "Well us folks from the internet is real, too,"
I laughed and said, "Ha…no you're not, you just exist inside of my computer!"
She knew from reading my blog that I was going to have my hip replacement surgery in several weeks, and I asked her if she had an extra freezer at her place so that she could store my old hip until it was time to have me cremated i.e. upon my death.
She said, "No," and told me about the time that she had come home, and found one of her cats dead, and had put the cat in the freezer until her husband got home from work. She said that that was the last thing of that nature that she would ever put in a freezer, and that there was no way in hell, even if it wasn't bio hazard material, that she would hold my hip for me until I died.
An Internet Moment:
Mikel K Poet: It sucks to be independent when you need somebody, because they are not around.
David Herrle: I've been there, Mikel. It's a blessing sometimes, but also a desolation. We're all "here," though!
Mikel K Poet: It is weird because the above statement that I made was a momentary reflection on the fact that I couldn't much get myself to the grocery store, and back, because of this hip; these days I travel on a cane…and, then, Danielle appeared out of nowhere, and came through for me with a ride.
I have nice food to eat tonight because of Danielle. You have to be thankful for what you have, and, sometimes, seek help for what you don't have. I have been conditioned to be an island, and on my island I must stay; sometimes, this is not the best way.
After I walked through the fire, nothing else mattered. Refuse to feed on the fear they give you so freely. When nothing else matters, it's about the way you feel inside…
Bundy went ballistic, this morning as someone was lightly tapping on our front door. "Go home, Bundy, Go home," I said to the dog in a loud voice, but he wasn't going anywhere but where he was at barking viciously at the unshaven man who stood at the door holding a fast food breakfast sandwich in his hand.
"Hey, can I use your outlet," he said. "The guy across the street wants me to clean up the house next to yours."
The house next to mine, had been foreclosed on by one of our marvelous banks, but they hadn't, as they never do, seen fit to maintain the property that they had repossessed. It was a nice house, an expensive house in an expensive neighborhood with a scattering of lower rent apartments throughout it, like the one that I was living in; but, right now, in the hands of the bank, it looked like a crack house.
Someone had put a plywood board over the front door, and the lawn was a unsightly mess, Medusa's hair coming to mind as then nearest metaphor. The neighbor across the street was obviously worried about the expensive dump's affect on his property value. It might be hard to sell a house across the street from a pigsty that the bank cared nothing about, except for the money that it could get out of it, and, also, it was an eyesore: I'm sure that the guy across the street was tired of gazing out his window and across his nicely manicured lawn at such a disappointment.
For a moment, I thought that I should say no, "No, you can't use my electricity to clean up that house. The bank should clean up that house, and at the least, the bank should write me a check for an hour or so use of my electricity."
The bank is in the business of collecting checks; they don't write checks, so I knew that I would never see a dime from the bank. The unshaved bastard holding half a fast food sandwich needed, I'm sure, the money that the man across the street was going to pay him. He was either going to buy a bottle with it, or head to one of his early on 12 step meetings, and wanted a dollar to put in the basket.
I didn't even hesitate as I told the guy, "Yes, you can use my outlet."
Just because the banks suck, doesn't mean that I have to.
OpenSalon.com has these things called Open Call. I never pay much attention to them, because unless someone is paying to direct the nature of my writing, I prefer to blaze my own path. They have one going on now called, Sexiest Man on OS - open call."
Someone nominated me; or mentioned me:
i would pick mikel k, because his poems so often move me, and speak such truth. he could make up love poems all day long. real love poems, not passionate shepherd nonsense (which i also love, btw).
Me sexy? No, she said the poems are sexy! Either way, thanks. As I sit here overweight, unshaven, un-showered, about to have a hip removed in three weeks, I suddenly feel...well, sexy because of you!! And you are sexy, too!
Morrison did not touch his breakfast, this morning, and I am, now, figuring out why: he has gas; he has gas real bad. He is laying next to me on the floor, as I sit at my desk and type, and it sounds as if his stomach is about to erupt; volcano is the word that comes to mind: a volcano churning, and getting ready to explode in his stomach.
Morrison was a guest at someone else's house for the five days that I was recently California dreaming, and who knows what he got into over there. There are four dogs in that house to badly influence him.
"Here, Morisson, try some of this…it tastes good."
Disruptions in normalcy are mostly felt by the cats, dogs, and turtles when I take a trip, but that will certainly not limit me from taking trips. I love to travel, and I love to come home from my travels. strung out on homesickness. There is great peace in normalcy.
When I eat a bagel, I almost always want another bagel. Most times I do not give in to this sugar craving, because I know that it is bad for me to eat multiple bagels: it is bad for the size of my tummy, and it is bad for my diabetes: bad, bad, bad. I like eating bagels at home more than I like eating bagels out. At home I can control the amount of butter, or peanut butter that I put on my bagel. I really like peanut butter on my bagel, and, if I have it, which I don't, right now, I like to put raspberry jam on top of the peanut butter: yum, yum. I also love chocolate, but I will tell you about that at another time.
I have a very bad case of psoriasis, another thing that my father bequeathed to me, along with dandruff, a drinking problem, a bi-polar issue, skinny legs, and blue eyes. Some people inherit hotel chains, I got all of the above.
Several months ago, I grew beard, the best bear that I can grow, not a very thick beard, mind you, but a beard that has a distinct personality of its own. I was riding my bike to work one day, recently, and this young kind of hippy chick girl hollered, "Nice beard," at me. My son's mother, on the other hand told me that I looked like a homeless guy.
Anyway, over the last week to ten days, my beard has started to itch. I need a remedy, so I went on the internet. Basically, the only advice that I could find was to scratch it, which I have been doing. I really want some quick fix, in the form of a lotion; something that I can rub on the skin below my beard that will take the irritation away. I 'll keep looking.
OnlineHost: *** You are in "Romance - Poet Seeks Muse". ***
OnlineHost: Windkist01 has entered the room.
Windkist01: Muse seeks poet ; )
OnlineHost: Windkist01 has left the room.
Sometimes, I'm not sure if I'm being greedy, or rational. I was laying in bed, thinking about Christmas, which is in about a month, and thinking about my surgery date for the hip replacement surgery, Dec. 7, that is, hopefully, going to take me from being a man living in great pain to a man who can, after the surgery, go back to where he once was, when it comes to taking Yoga, walking his dogs, and moving about this world not in a limp, not in pain with every step that he takes.
Anyway, my rehab time, after the operation is four to six weeks, and my job has said that they won't hold my job for that long because I am a part timer. Hell, 87% of the folks that work for the same corporation are part timers. The corporation doesn't want to pay you full time wages: the corporation doesn't want to give you full time benefits, so they call you part time, and work you 39 1/2 hours. Do you realize that "the corporation" is men and women sitting in a nice office somewhere, getting into nice cars when they are done spending their day trying to figure out how to pay the 87%'s less, and then heading to their nice homes, and they don't really care if you or I eat.
Back to my greed: should I bank every penny that I have, since I won't be working for awhile, won't know when I will be working again, or should I buy some Christmas presents for my kids and immediate family? This is what I was thinking while I was laying in bed, staring at the ceiling, having had too much caffeine, too close to bedtime. Am I being greedy trying to fill the pantry with food, or is it a rational move to hoard food, and worry about playing Santa next year?
I wish that there really was a Rudolph, and that he could help me decide.
Sometimes, all the things that I have thought of to write, disappear before I get to my computer to type them down. If I am lucky, I have made little notes, as these thoughts appear, if I am top of my game, I have jotted the thoughts that occur to me, between sittings at the laptop, down in this small notebook that I carry in my back pocket, before I lose them. Rarely do I sit down at the computer, and not have something to write.
I get high when I write; I get higher than I ever did on LSD, marijuana, mushrooms, ecstasy, speed, cocaine, or liquor; and the high doesn't get me in trouble: emotionally, or with the law.
What a blessing.
This lady came into the bookstore when I soon won't be working because they are terminating me because I have to take medical leave, and she said, "Please get rid of that Sarah Palin book." There was a display of Palin's book, "Going Rogue," near the front door.
I smiled at her, and said, "If I had my way, we would!"
I hear that the book is selling well, but not in my part of town. Us blue state types are not down with Sarah.
When the lady left the store, I said to her, "Since you don't like the Sarah book, I could guide you to a book by Sean Hannity, or Newt Gingrich, or Rush Limbaugh." She said, "Argh," and ran out of the store.
A couple soon came into the bookstore, and the man said, "Do you have the new Sarah Palin book?"
I said, "Why, yes sir, it is right over, and I pointed to the display of Palin's books.
The man laughed out loud, and said, "No, no, no…I was only kidding."
I smiled at him and said, "Well, you better get you one, fast, I'm about to light that display on fire."
Sometimes, people ask me what I do besides write, and I look at them as if they are crazy. Perhaps the best way to explain this is to tell you a story that my good friend, Dale W. Miller.com told me about a drummer in a famous band. The drummer was giving a seminar, and someone in the audience raised their hand and asked him what he did when he wasn't drumming?
"Not drumming? Man, this is it. This is what I do: I drum."
I haven't played you a song in awhile. The waiting is the hardest part. "The Waiting," is a Tom Petty, and The Heartbreakers song that I didn't understand when it first came out. I think that I was living in L.A. at the time, and drinking heavily. The drinking heavily part had nothing to do with it. I was, and would have been, drinking heavy, at that time, no matter where I was living.
Oh baby don't it feel like heaven right now
Don't it feel like something from a dream
Yeah I've never known nothing quite like this
Don't it feel like tonight might never be again
We know better than to try and pretend
Baby no one could'a ever told me 'bout this
I said yeah yeah
The waiting is the hardest part
Every day you see one more card
You take it on faith, you take it to the heart
The waiting is the hardest part
"The Waiting," seemed like a departure for Tom Petty, and I wasn't sure that I wanted him to depart. I didn't want him to challenge me. I wanted him to be the same comfortable Tom Petty that I had come to love over the last seven years, ever since I had discovered him on the cover of The Rolling Stone, and soon put together that fact that this guy on the cover with the sardonic look on his face was the guy singing the song on the radio that I loved so much: "Refugee."
"It don't really matter to me, baby,
Everybody's had to fight to be free."
I wish that I had a hundred dollars a week for groceries, but I don't. Right now, I am living on $117 worth of food stamps a month. The first week to ten days are full of good eating, but the rest of the month is full of some dismal scraping by. Do you think less of me because I have told you that I am getting food stamps? Does that make me some sort of leech; an evil parasite sucking your blood, stealing your tax money? Am I a lousy member of society; a failed capitalist? Am I sucking, unfairly, off of the communal tit?
I read somewhere that something like twenty percent of Americans are getting food stamps right now. Corporations have so fucked us that the government has to feed us? I don’t want to suck your tit, so buy my books, will you?
Isn't it funny how sleep can have a taste to it: I just had a delicious nap. Naps are an essential ingredient of my day: I usually take two, one early in the morning, and one in the afternoon, and each one lasts about two hours. My early morning nap follows my morning writing session which should start around five a.m. and end around ten. I never eat before or while I write, because I get sleepy once I write, and I can not write while I am tired. My afternoon nap does not necessarily last two hours. Sometimes an hour is good, and naps are a great thing for me to have as part of my day. They make me more productive, and they make me feel better about life.
I have sleep apnea, which I'm not sure contributes to my daytime sleepiness, except maybe in the case of the afternoon nap. Sleep apnea means that you have sleep exam, and start wearing a mask on you face, attached to a hose, that is attached to a machine that shoots out air, you are tired all the time, and you snore all the time.XXXXXXX
David Sedaris looks like a writer. I wonder if I look like a writer. A young lady, who was sitting on an airplane seat in front of me, recently, told me that she thought that I was probably a writer, when she saw me. Of course, she said that after I had already told her that I was a poet.
"You look like a poet," she said, which made me start to wonder what poets look like, because there are, and have been an awful lot of us, throughout time, and we can not all have looked the same.
Take Bukowski; he doesn't look like Billy Collins, or Ezra Pound. Bukowski looks like himself, and so do Collins, and Pound. It's rather stupid to lump all poets into one fashion or facial pile. People like to stereotype, though; it makes things easier for them.
"Oh yes, he looks like a poet, he certainly can't be a serial killer."
I spent time on the internet, this morning, and my coffee got cold so I guzzled it. I like guzzling coffee, but this morning I now feel, somehow, like I have missed out on something: that slow sipping process that I am used to. I am debating having another cup: part of me says yes, that it will be an enjoyable experience and part of me is saying no, that second cup will make you jittery. I think, since I will have no human interaction, today, that I will say yes, and slowly sip on a nice hot cup of joe. I'll let you know if I get jittery.
You will never guess who gave me my first hit of LSD…it wasn't Timothy O'Leary or Jim Morrison: it was Ru Paul. Aren't you amazed by that? I am. More on this later.
I once went to Los Angeles from Orlando, trying to get away from me, but when I got to California I found that I was still there. I once went from one side of the nation to the other trying to get away from me
The good thing about when Bundy pukes on the carpet is that he licks it up when he is done puking. I don't think that I have ever seen Morisson puke, so I don't know if he would clean up after himself. I think that it is Bundy who cleans up after one of the cats upchuck. Bundy is the upchuck cleaner upper, and I am glad for this. I will have to remember to give the dog some brownie points when he does soemthing that aggravates me; saving me from cleaning up dog and cat puke on the carpet is a truly magnificent thing: yeah Bundy!
The Wrong Rebekah…
Are you a rich and famous actress yet?
Rebecca
none of the above... you??
Mikel
Ha yes I m a famous actress
Rebecca
should we start calling you Michelle?
Mikel
Michella K
As long as you all are calling me
I couldn't understand why Rebekah blew me off so soon in the instant message session that I had initiated with her. I mean we had never been the absolute best offriends, but we had sat together over coffee, and chatted, quite a few times many, many years ago before she had moved to L.A. to practice her craft, which was to look lovely, and act.
I was sure that big things were going to happen for Rebekah in Los Angeles. At the least, I figured that if we didn't see her immediately lighting up the silver screen, that she would be smiling at us from our televisions, a regular on the hottest new show that Hollywood had to offer.
In our instant message conversation, Rebekah seemed a bit jaded, a bit standoffish; maybe I had used the wrong approach in saying hello to her, or maybe the years out there in Los Angeles, knocking on doors, had been hard on her, and had made her a tad cynical, a little bit angry.
Afte we spoke, I looked back at the conversation, and realized that I had made a terrible mistake: I had been talking to the wrong Rebeka. The girl who I was talking to was Rebeccah, not Rebekah.
Mikel K Poet: I've got to have some sex...I think I'm going to go buy a hooker.
Andy K: isn't it rent a hooker? to buy one would cost a fortune right?
Mikel K Poet: A man needs a maid.
Mikel K Poet: Maybe I'll just get a blow up doll, and return it when I'm done; that seems more affordable.
Mikel K Poet: I am kidding; I am really thinking about becoming a priest, or a nun. They have male nuns, now, like they have male nurses.
Mikel K Poet: A tramp, like me, was born to run: baby are you out there?
Mikel K Poet: I would make brownies, but I won't have any mix until tomorrow. The definition of insanity is wanting to make brownies today, when you won't have the mix until tomorrow. My name is Mikel, and I am a brownie addict.
Christy D: Oh honey, I did not know it was so serious. Maybe you should take a trip down to the Angle. You know you could go 13 stepping there!
Mikel K Poet: I KNEW that you (Christy) would check in on this one!! I don't do the angle, and I was never a 13th stepper; in fact, I am almost perfect in every way...except for a raging brownie addiction...can you help me?
Christy D: Got no brownies, but E and I are going to make choc chip cookies after dinner, and Harry Potter. You know the mom thing!
Mikel K Poet: You are a great mom,, and a great lady...I admire your sense of humor. You wouldn't happen to have an extra blow up doll laying around the house, would you?
Christy D: No, me apologizes: never had use for a blow up! What about your right hand lady?
Mikel K Poet: "One is the loneliest number; it s the loneliest number since the number two.."--Three Dog Night
Mikel K Poet: This was an experiment.(I was joking about buying a hooker, in case you couldn't tell) and, except for Christy, it failed, which means that it was a success, because it is always nice to chat with Christy, on here, and in the "real" world...!!
Keep coming back.
PS Christy D: Two can be quite as bad ....!
A thought on the initial interaction with the woman…If you are all over her. like may I say, a fly on shit, then she will not be interested in you. If you salivate like a Pavlov's dog at her existence, she will blow you off like you run from cockroaches in your supper plate. This is my experience, anyway. The ladies that I "score" like to be ignored, in the beginning; they like the chase, they like to feel as if they are running me down, and throwing the net on me, not the opposite. Love, as they say, is a strange game.
Jesus was a Capricorn--Kris Kristofferson
Jesus wasn't a Gemini like me.
Jesus was a Capricorn, he ate organic foods.
He believed in love and peace and never wore no shoes.
Long hair, beard and sandals and a funky bunch of friends.
Reckon they'd just nail him up if He come down again.
'Cos everybody's got to have somebody to look down on.
Who they can feel better than at anytime they please.
Someone doin' somethin' dirty, decent folks can frown on.
If you can't find nobody else, then help yourself to me.
Egg Head's cousin Red Neck's cussin' hippies for their hair.
Others laugh at straights who laugh at freaks who laugh at squares.
Some folks hate the whites who hate the blacks who hate the clan.
Most of us hate anything that we don't understand.
'Cos everybody's got to have somebody to look down on.
Who they can feel better than at anytime they please.
Someone doin' somethin' dirty, decent folks can frown on.
If you can't find nobody else, then help yourself to me.
Help yourself, brother.
Help yourself Reverend.
Money Don't Matter 2 Night--Prince
Wouldn't it be nice if money didn't matter? (But it does.) Try to pay your landlord with your dreams, your aspirations, your good will. It just won't happen.
Money don't matter 2night
It sure didn't matter yesterday
Just when U think U've got more than enough
That's when it all up and flies away
That's when U find out that U're better off
Makin' sure your soul's alright
Cuz money didn't matter yesterday
And it sure don't matter 2night
It is a nice concept to say make sure that your soul's alright, to imply that your soul is more important than money, but how many of us really feel that way. Does God hang out at the bank?
Hey now, maybe we can find a good reason 2 send a child off 2 war
So what if we're controllin' all the oil
Is it worth a child dying 4? (Is it worth it?)
If long life is what we all live 4 then long life will come 2 pass
Anything is better than the picture of the child in a cloud of gas
And U think U got it bad
Prince is getting serious in this verse, but how many of us heard him, how many of us understand what he is saying, how many of us know what he is saying but just let it roll over us. What can we do about war? What can we do about that child soldier who is not our own? What can we do, even, about our own child soldier. We are powerless, and there is no white chip to pick up for the situation.
Money don't matter 2night
It sure didn't matter yesterday (Yesterday, yesterday)
Just when U think U've got more than enough
That's when it all up and flies away (Flies away, flies away)
That's when U find out that U're better off
Makin' sure your soul's alright
Money didn't matter yesterday
And it sure don't matter 2night
In Paris, they read the obituaries to hunt for apartments!
I had to microwave my coffee, this morning, because I let the coffee get cold. It's five a.m. and I am, pretty much, wide awake. Thanks Lord for letting me see this new day: it has so much potential. It is raw, unlike any other day that I have ever lived. The gift of life is the most precious thing that the creator has given us. While alive, all things are possible. Do you want a new car? Go out and get it. Do you want to shower your children with love? Do it. I fed the dogs, and cats before I made my coffee, this morning, as I usually do. I think that the animals should go first; that is at least in part why I don't eat them anymore: respect. We should have respect for all living things. If we don't need to eat them to survive, why should we force feed them, inject them with growth hormones, and then cruelly kill them to eat? I see no reason why.
You probably can't tell someone that you love them too much. In my case, I am thinking about my kids. I just sent them an email at 5:46 a.m. that says that I love them. They will wake up to find it, and I would think that it might be a great way for them to start their day. I mean it's not like finding a new Mercedes, that belongs to them, now, parked out in front of their living space, but heck it's the best that I can do give my current circumstances. Do you think that handing out Mercedes to family members is a good way to show your love?
I failed to tell you that several days after I returned from Oakland, Monkey, the cat, returned to my front porch, and has been eating the food that I put there for him. It is funny how things can get disrupted between you, and your animals, when you are gone for even a short period of time. Monkey probably wondered what the heck happened to me, even though I left food for my next door neighbor to feed her. Maybe the bond between an animal and a man or woman is stronger than food.
Scout got suspended from school, last week, for two days because she got caught, again, texting in her math. class. Now, if there is a class to be texting in, in my opinion, its got to be math. class so I think that they should have given her extra points, or an extra grade on the report card, for not picking an interesting class like English.
I was always good in math., when I was a kid: they had me in honors math. through tenth grade, the grade that Scout is now in, until I talk them, the school and my parents, out of it. I can't remember what my argument was, but I must have been very smooth to get out of it. Honors math was no fun. It was hard, and most of the kids in the class were geeks. The sad thing that I soon leaned was that regular math was hard, also, and just as boring, and the "cool" kids ignored me, like I was a leper. I guess that I was kind of a geek, also.
If there had been cell phones, back then, and I had had one, I bet that I would have been texting during math., also.
Some of us had bad experiences in the family that we were born into. Maybe it is because the attitudes toward parenting that were held by our parents were harsh(how many times did your father tell you that he loved you?) or maybe it was for some other reason, but, as adults, we find ourselves in atypical(for back then)family situation.
I have nothing against people who eat turkey for Thanksgiving, though I do have something against the folks who killed The Indians, though there is not much that I can do about it, and I fully realize that I am a beneficiary of the brutal, evil killing of The Native Peoples. I ate turkey for most of 52 years that I have been on this planet: this will be my second year that I have not eaten the bird.
The first year, last year, I didn't think that I could do it; I had this idea about how awful it was going to be to just eat vegetables for the holidays (Christmas was looming near by.) My oldest boys' wife brought the neatest non-turkey dishes, though, to add to the wonderful vegetable dishes that my son's mother had cooked. I enjoyed my meal tremendously, and got as full, and happy as I ever had gotten eating the full range of the Thanksgiving meal offerings.
I Googled, "Thanksgiving turkey raising and killing," and I found this post by, "Uppity Person," which pretty much says what I was going to say(except that I think it would have been better for he, or she, to keep the turkey as a pet!:
"I know my bird, because I raised it, was raised in decent conditions, know what it ate, know it wasn't stuffed in a tiny cage with no room to move and nothing to do but eat the hormone/antibiotic ridden food put in front of it, know it didn't have its beak chopped off to prevent it pecking at other birds, know that it was treated respectfully and butchered without a lot of trauma (like being hung by its feet while proceeding down an assembly line with other terrified birds).
I agree that being more actively involved with obtaining your food is a good thing even though my ancestors were not involved with "genocide against the Native Americans , enslaved the African People , and murdered millions across the world in the 20th century".
Wow, Uppity Person really got some mileage out of the evil way that your turkey is raised and killed, rallying against the whole, or much of, the American way of life!!
Have a nice day.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=389&topic_id=7068135&mesg_id=7068403
My friend, Laura Miller, is going to the Doctor, today. Prayers are in order, but I still feel powerless. I'm not always sure that my prayers work, but I'm not sure that they don't, so I keep saying them, but in more harsh situations like the one that Laura finds herself in, it is harder to keep the faith. Laura seems to have a good attitude about it though, here is what she posted in her Face Book:
Laura Miller has to go get a mammogram in the morning. Would somebody else go as my stunt double and get their boobie smushed for me?
Faith, for me, is a crucial thing. Without it, life would be dismal. Right before she went off to the Doctor's office, Laura Miller posted this:
I have a mass in my right breast. I am headed out the door as we speak. Thanks for all the well wishes!
And all I could think to reply to her with was:
Love=sending, I mean what else can you do, in this situation, and in most situations in life but have faith, and send love.
If you pray, will you please pray like Hell for my friend Laura Miller.
"...you can't prove life and love and death are anything more than random happenings."
"...we are all poems coming out of the mud."
And I will let my people know that I am looking forward to meeting a great legend as you.
I was just just taking a nap: Bundy woke me. He doesn't like it when the mailwoman puts bills in our box.
I don't remember feeling loved as a child. I was fed, clothed, housed, and often reminded by my father that it was he was feeding, clothing, and housing me, and that I lived in "his house."
I could only take a shower once a week in his house, and I couldn't walk back upstairs to my bedroom, but once a day, when it was time, at night, to go to bed. But worse, than that was my father often telling me, that, "it was your mother who wanted you, I was too old." I mean what a thing to tell a kid. I lived in fear of my father. I remember running away from his foot, on many occaisions. I can't remember if he actually landed his boot, or his hand on me, ever, but I bet that he did. He took great pride in saying that he, "only spanked me to a certain age."
There is no handbook to fatherhood, and I assiduously avoided doing to my kids, the things that my father did to me that felt bad. By having a lousy father, I became a great one, and you can ask my kids for proof of that.
***
I have to admit that not every cup of coffee that I make is a good one. I make my coffee malita style, and sometimes I leave the water in the micorowave too long while I type away, or I leave the coffee in the cup, after I have poured it through the grounds, while I type away. Malita style is a trick that was taught to me by Matt Bowen, when he was first training me to be a barisita.
In malita style
I was outside with my dogs, today, Thanksgiving, and, suddenly, Bundy made a beeline for the side of the house. Morisson followed him in rapid succession. I heard barking, like a dog fight, and the screaming of my downstairs neighbor, a nice lady, who I'll call Barbara. I limped on cane to see what was going on, and I could see Barbara beating on Morisson, trying, I guess, to get him away from her dog. I don't know if my dogs were just being nosy, and inquisitive, like they most always are, or if there was a fight going on amongst the three dogs. It didn't matter: Barbara was unhappy with whatever was going on, and it was my job to end it.
I started barking commands at my dogs, "Go home," I screamed at them, and thankfully they went home.
"Are you o.k.?" I said to Barbara. My heart was pounding.
"Yes," she said, and I was reassured.
"Is your dog o.k.?" I asked her.
Silence.
I could see vet visits, and hug bills, coming at me now, but I decided to not freak out, and just put some time between the incident, and myself, and Barbara. As Art Linton sings in one of his songs, "Time Heals All."
Hopefully, the next time that I see Barbara, she will have a smile on her face, and I will have my dogs on leashes, like I should have.
"That kid sure has a lot of grandfathers," said one of my grandson Elliot's many grandfathers, and he was right: Elliot, has Grandpa Andy, Grandpa Kevin, Grandpa Mikel, and Grandpa Gary, who was the Grandpa commenting on all the Grandpas that his grandson had.
Grandpa Gary, is the only Grandpa related to Elliot by blood, which is probably what he was talking about. His daughter, Tomi, is Elliot's mommy, and from there the situation might get confusing to anyone who doesn't understand that, to many of us, a family is as much about love, as blood, and I am not saying that Grandpa Gary doesn't know that. Grandpa Gary is a loving person, whose chats on Karma helped me to quit eating meat. Grandpa Gary has, possibly, just not experienced anything like our side of the family; a fairly weird, and very un-Leave It To Beaver like type of family. His daughter's husband had two father figures, as I like to call them, (I hate the word step or half--Kevin and I stepped nowhere, we are still here)and his mom has the greatest lives in sin with her boyfriend, Andy, who loves Elliot like…
I never had a grandfather, so I am happy for Elliot that he has an abundance of them. Maybe one will live longer than the others, so Elliot will have a granddaddy way past the time that some other kid might have had a granddaddy. Maybe one or more granddaddy's will be too busy to spend much time with Elliot; then having an excess of grandfathers might, again, come in handy.
It was a sad day, today, for millions of turkeys.
Yuck. I'm about to start drinking store brand tea. This wouldn't matter so much if it was iced tea that I was talking about: I could put some sweetener in it, add lemon; it wouldn't much matter what kind of tea that I was brewing, but I am talking about hot tea here, hot tea with milk, my second favorite drink in the world behind a nice cup of hot coffee.
Facebook Pop Up: Something's gone wrong. We're working to get it fixed as soon as we can.
Clark: How did your Thanksgiving go?
Mikel: I ate like a pig. Thanks, Lord, for the extra pounds of fat.
Clark: You may need it to get thru the lean months ahead -
Mikel: What lean months? Do you know something I don t? Or do you mean the no job months?
Clark: Uh... just a figure of speech.
Mikel: It s weird to have just a couple hundred bucks and no job. Faith, Clark, faith...
Clark: Sometimes I just can't wait to get off this RIDICULOUS planet.
Mikel: (: I type a smile, but really I'm silent. Clark has been a friend of mine for years. We have made music together; good music. Clark is one of the most talent artists on the planet. He is a painter. He is a poet. He plays a number of instrument well. He is a recovered drunk, who has nineteen years clean, and he has just been diagnosed with inoperable liver cancer.
Clark: I know that's not cool to say but....
Mikel: I understand, or at least I think I do. I have never been in your shoes but, I expect, I will be one day, one way, or another. I have my hip surgery on Dec. 7
Clark: I'm okay now, but when the anger kicks in....
Mikel: That I do understand.
Clark: Are you nervous about it?
Mikel: I gave away a lot of coffee in the week after my boss told me that they weren't going to hold my coffee shop job for me. No I m anxious to have the surgery. I m in a great deal of pain, and discomfort I'm getting old Clark. (I feel stupid whining to Clark about my hip replacement ills, when he is dieing, but I figure maybe I can keep his mind off his business at hand for a moment.)
Clark: Do you have pain medicine ?
Mikel: I met this guy who owns several small market
radio stations and we might could do llke 30 sec bit for that
I have naproxen, the prescription form of Aleve.
I guess i m about to get the good stuff after surgery
Clark: Don't let program stuff get in the way of treating the pain -
Mikel: Folks have already been asking me for my "extras!!"
Clark: I know. You find out what ails everyone.
Mikel: And I said I won t to your program comment
I'll use them as instructed and then shoot the leftovers haven t had a drink all day, no white chip necessary
Clark: It's not as much fun when you're actually in pain.
Mikel: Bummer. Well it will all work out as it is supposed to.
Clark: In fact, it's kind of a drag. Night night K.
Mikel: Night Clark; hug the wife for me.
You spend all year waiting for the holiday, and then, BAM, they are over. We have blazed through Halloween, and Thanksgiving, already this year, and Christmas will soon be upon us. The stores want us to think that Christmas is tomorrow, and are doing everything they can to encourage us to buy. The corporations start lining their shelves with Christmas items, as soon as the last boo is said on Halloween, these days, and, by Thanksgiving, you would think that Santa had already arrived.
Riding my bike home from work the other night, probably my last night ever
at that job, I came across a Honda Passport parked on the side of the street that had been in an accident; it was a beautiful car, except for its front end, which was quite a mess.
I have a friend who is an auto body repair man, and I was thinking how he would like to buy this SUV for cheap, and then he could easily fix, and paint it,
because that is what he does for a living: fix cars, and paint them, if there is no painter in the shop that he is working in. Then, my friend would either drive the car that he had fixed as his own, or he would sell it for a nice profit, for how many among us are able to fix cars that have been in an accident?
As I got past the vehicle's front end, I looked in the passenger side window, and for the first time in my life, I saw discharged air bags. A feeling of fear came over me, and I found myself hoping that those air bags had worked, that the passengers in this Honda had not gotten hurt when they had hit something.
All my life, I have read the sticker on the steering wheel, and on the dashboard in front of the passenger seat that warn you about air bags being within. It was weird, and ominous to see two fully charged sets.
I said a prayer for the people who had been inside, and then I continued riding my bike home. You never know when an accident is going to hit you.
Normally, I ration my avocados, spread them out over salad, or include them sparingly in burritos that I make at home, but, tonight, I decided to treat myself to a whole, ripe avocado, and just eat the moist, delicious bites of yellow and green avocado out of it's rough skin with a spoon; like the avocado skin was a soup bowl, and the avocado was the soup: what a treat!
Then, I fixed my self a hot tea with milk. This was a bit of an experiment because I had bought two boxes of the store brand tea. Normally I buy a nice name brand tea, and I love it, but since I am going to be out of work, with my
upcoming hip replacement surgery, and the rehab time of 4 to 6 weeks that the good Doctor says that I will need after the operation, I am trying both to cut back on what I spend on individual items, and to stock up on as many things as I can.
I make my coffee melitta style; this means that I boil my water fo 5:45 seconds in the microwave oven, and then pour it through the coffee grounds that I have placed in a paper funnel, which I have place in the melitta cone.
Often, during my day, I have a hot tea with milk. The way that I make this beverage, is to fill a cup with water, add two tea bags(it's a large cup,) and then put the cup in the microwave oven for 2:41. I don't know how I came up with these times, but they work for me. Sometimes, however, I forget what I am doing, and I set the tea for 5 minutes and 45 seconds. I usually catch myself, but not before the tea is way too hot for me. The only solution then is to add extra milk. Waiting around until the tea cools down is not an option; I am a far too impatient tea drinker for this.
Jaggar, who has long been unaffectionate, has, recently, taken to sleeping next to my left leg. He put his paw on my shin, scratching it a bit, causing it to itch a great deal, and wake me up. I love that he is finally feeling comfortable enough around me to sleep near me, but that part of my leg is plagued by psoriasis and I can't have Jaggar aggravating it. I may have to start wearing sweat pants to block his affection.
My cats get the cheap stuff, in the mornings, now, as their wet snack. Kobain doesn't mind it, at all. In fact, he often eats the food off of both his bowl, and Jaggar's plate, because Jaggar often doesn't eat his. If I buy the more expensive wet cat food, Jaggar takes more of an interest in it. I guess that he is a wet cat food connoisseur, or a wet cat food snob, one or the other, or both.
Jaggar has this new habit of scratching his paws on the back of my chair. For some stupid reason, when this first occurred, I thought that it was Bundy doing this, because it just seemed like something Bundy would do, although Bundy is not doing things that he is not supposed to with the great regularity that he used to.
The name brand Cola, the Cola whose name you see everywhere, did not last three days in a two liter bottle that I brought home on Thursday: I am drinking flat cola, flat name brand cola. Do you think that they do it intentionally: make it go flat fast, so that you will drink it fast, so that you will drink it before it goes flat, and then go out and buy another bottle of it?
I wouldn't put it past them.
Among other things, my children's mother has pogonophobia, a fear of beards.
When I went out to feed Monkey, this morning, he was nowhere in insight. Instead there was a large monster picking up bags of leaves, and other trash, with its huge claws. I had never seen such a department of sanitation vehicle. It was quite impressive, and for Monkey, I am assuming, quite scary.
I am in quite a bit of pain this morning, which leads me to wonder what next week will be like, when I am not allowed to take the anti-inflammatory pill, naproxen, that I have been taking for the last several months. Often, when you predict pain, or hard times, they do not turn out to be as bad as you have predicted. Let's hope that that is the case with my hip, and leg pain.
My hip replacement surgery is going to take place a week from today. I do not know, fully, what to expect; I just have bits, and pieces, in my mind of what is going to occur on that day, and what to expect afterwards. I don't know how big my scar is going to be, or how long that I am going to be in the hospital, after the operation. I have a pre-op appointment scheduled for the morning of the surgery. I will learn a lot there, and have many of my questions answered I am sure.
I have never had surgery before in my life. I am looking forward to this one, because I understand that after a rehab period of four to six weeks that my life will go back to where it was before my hip went out on me. I will be able to walk my dogs, take the yoga class that I so love, and not limp around the house, and the world, in intense pain.
You can't beat that, now can you?
I was sitting at my desk, reading a book, writing some poems…the usual, when a friend of mine sent me a message on Facebook.
Her: Do you drive? Like as in a 24 ft moving truck?
Me: I thought about it, and replied: Is that the really big truck? If so I would be scared to, but I would try if you really, really needed me to.
The rest of the conversation went like this:
Her: Well, I gotta move it...kind of scared to do it too...but got to be done so~I think I'm gonna give it a try...your help would be appreciated, but if you don't think you can...don't worry...wouldn't want to injure you so close to surgery time!!!
Me: I'll try.
Her: Really? Are you sure? Leaving work in about 30 mins...can I come pick you up? Are you really sure?
Me: I'll try! See you in 30.
Her: Cool!!!
It is weird: yesterday my hip was giving me great pain, and I woke up, this morning, and my hip was acting as if it was almost brand new. The weather seems to affect how my hip will act, what level of pain it will give me, and I think that it is also whimsical, deciding arbitrarily, each day, whether or not to plague me.
So, as I was driving the massive rental truck down Moreland Ave., yesterday, my friend calls from the car behind me, and says, "We need to put gas in the truck; why don't you pull over somewhere easy."
I pulled into "somewhere easy," a gas station that I have been buying gas at for years. I pulled up to a pump, and my friend walks up, and points out that the little hole for putting gas in is on the wrong side of the pump, and that I will have to move the truck.
As I am driving around the corner, at the other end of the gas station, I run the massive rental van up against a police prison van, that the police have just put a prisoner in.
Fun, fun.
I used to bring a date under one arm, and a fifth of jack under the other arm, to FSU football games, and when I'd wake up in the morning they'd often both be gone! At the time, I thought that this was fun, but the Jack Daniels consumption, then, was indicative of a huge problem that I would have with booze in general later, and, of course, I have yet to figure women out, and why they do, or don't, show up in my life, and then disappear from it.
A week from today, I am going to have hip replacement surgery. For the next week, I can not take Naproxen, which is the only thing, I believe, that has been keeping me from intense pain in the hip to knee areas of my body.
I don't know what to expect from this surgery, and I don't know what to expect from the removal of this anti-inflammatory pill, except for even more pain than I have been experiencing while taking it, and that has been quite a bit.
I've been wondering, tonight, if there are any illegal pain pills, that wouldn't thin my blood out.
Pain sucks.
Facebook headline: I've got to have some sex...I think I'm going to go buy a hooker.
I was kidding here; trying to get reactions from my FB readers. Sometimes, I'll do anything for a laugh. I think that buying sex from a hooker is a lonely, depressing,
degrading experience, both for you, and for her, or for you , and him, if you are engaging in homosexual prostitution. Sex should be loving; it just should, and I am not basing this on any religious preaching, I am just basing this on the way that I feel about it.
There was this prostitute who used to hang out on the street corner near this coffee shop that I worked at. She was a major babe, and stayed busy, all the time. She told us that she had kids, and a husband, and was just doing this for extra money. I felt sorry for her. I guess that she had the advantage that she was not strung out on heroin, or crack like so many other women who walk the streets looking to trade their body for dollars.
I guess, though, that this world is about choice, and if two grown adults want to have sex for money, that might be their business. I think that there are too many laws, and that most laws benefit the men and women who made them, or the men and women who made the men and women who are making the laws.
It's a crazy world out there, and I don't really have all the answers, although on some mornings, when that first cup of coffee has kicked in, I think that I do.
Beware of a coffee drinking man, who, sometimes thinks that he knows it all: he doesn't!
Facebook Heading: Jaggar has a strange attraction to my feet. He often rubs up against them during the day, indicating that he wants something. He sits near them, when I am at my desk, and, now, at night, he sleeps near them on my bed, sometimes biting, and or scratching them, if they get too close to him, while he is dreaming: weird cat, really. Good morning, world!
Tanila, Jagga But sounds like a pretty cool cat! (even if he does have a foot fetish).
r was found in a fast food parking lot, chest caved in, his mother dead next to him, run over by someone in a hurry to get a Big Mac. He was nursed, and nurtured, back to life by a concerned staff at a vet's office, and they turned him over to me, when he was ready for the "real world." Jaggar has always been anti-social, but I still love him. Love will bring you around, yeah yeah!
A woman who I can't put down
Books bore me,
I'm looking for a book
that I have to read
from cover to cover.
I'm looking for a woman
who I can t put down.
--Mikel K
Tue, December 1, 2009 5:36:35 PM
From: nastymom Subject: Let's meet up today
To: [email protected]
Let's meet up; send me a message below, and let me know.
NastyMom?
Send her a message? What kind of message?
I bet she would move on fast, if she is a she, when I
sent her the message that I don't have a credit card.
How dare they call a, "Mom," nasty?
Aren't most moms practically virgins, at least since
they have had the last kid?
She wants to meet up. Ha ha. You really got to love
the creativity of these online hustlers, and the beauty
of the false characters that they create to get you
interested in their porn, or phone sex. What losers.
I hope that they all go broke.
Go away, and quit spamming me.
I just had a dream, while taking a nap, that I was about to be given the keys to a city. What city, and why I was being given them, I'm not sure: I woke up before I found out why they were giving me the key. I woke up because I had itchy eye so bad, that I had to get up, and go to the bathroom, and put some drops in my eye. I wonder how many people have failed to get their key to the city because they had itchy key; not a lot I would imagine. I wonder how many people were about to receive a key to a city, and did not know what they had done to receive such an honor.
I have some wack dreams. Mostly I can't remember my dreams. I can only remember them if they come close to when I wake up, and even then, I forget a lot of them. I know that you are supposed to analyze your dreams, some people even say that you should write you dreams down, but how can you do any of that if you don't remember them?
Maybe in my dream, I knew the reason why I was receiving the key to a city. Maybe I just didn't know what city it was, but I will never know. Dreams don't come back to me later. Once I wake, what I know is what I know. What I remember about my dreams, is what I remember. It kind of sucks to be getting a key to a city, and not know why, and to not know what the city is.
Oh well. Maybe I'll take up tennis, again, once my hip is replaced, and I will win a trophy, or two. It won't be the same as winning a key to a city, but what can you do. Dream until your dreams come true.*
"We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out." - Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962
This gives me hope, as an author. Although, I don't "submit" very often, I will have to always remember that someone said, "NO," to The Beatles!!!
Mikel K Poet: Thanks, Art Linton, for posting this in your wall.
about an hour ago.
Billy Fields: Yep. That is a good one.
LeeAnne Leslie: Someone also said no to Sylvia Plath, and to Eva Cassidy...now, years after their deaths they are legendary..
Mikel K Poet: I want to be a living legend, getting paid in the here, and now.
LeeAnne Leslie: Of course... just saying, that recognition is not an establishment of talent...Look at Britney Spears.
Mikel K PoetI'm a recognizable talent: if you have your eyes open, your ears tuned, your brain turned on!
I didn't feel like getting out of bed, this morning. It wasn't one of those lousy mornings, that I had lived with for so long, where depression had got a hold of me by the neck, was strangling me, and was not allowing me to get up; it was one of those great mornings where I was happy to be alive, and I just wanted to lay there, on my comfortable bed, enjoying the new day, without jumping right into it. And besides, Bundy was at the side of the bed, panting, and puffing, demanding to be petted and loved, and I just wasn't ready to start all that with this dog quite yet.
Bundy has calmed down a lot, from when I first inherited him, but he can still be high maintenance. He especially gets excited first thing in the morning, when he sees me about to get out of bed, and also when he realizes that he is about to be fed, and when he sees me grabbing my coat and cane, figuring that that means that he is going to get to go outside.
Love is not always given to you the way you want it, but if you are wise you can figure out ways to accept it. Donald Miller says that we have to stop looking at our lover as if they were Jesus. I'm not a Christian, but I understand what Mr. Miller is saying: none of us are perfect, and if we go about looking for perfection in our loved ones, we will never have love at all.
The crack that I put in my turtles' tank, several weeks ago, changing their filthy water, does not seem to be deep enough to expel water. I am happy for this, because it means that I will not have to buy a new turtle tank with money that I don't have. The turtles seem happy in their new cracked home; maybe they are thinking that their digs are now bohemian, man, though I doubt it: doesn't an unfixed broken window usually denote poverty, and not hip-coolness?
I probably look forward to my first cup of coffee in the morning more than I look forward to sex. My first cup of coffee in the morning does not lead to bickering, and misunderstanding. It does not lead to breaking up, and emptiness. My first cup of coffee in the morning is always there for me; it is like one of my dogs wagging their tail saying that I am loved, and not a lover who has seen through me, and realizes that I am not, "the great poet," but I am a flawed man, with many imperfections, including one that claims that I have no imperfections.
Morisson is much less forceful than Bundy in his search for my love, his search for my affection. Morisson uses a submissive approach, sneaking up quite often and trying to remove my hand from the keys on the laptop. Morisson loves love, and he knows that he is loved, while I think that Bundy is still trying to figure that out, and, once he has, once he fully knows that he is loved, like Morisson does, he will calm down.
At least that is my hope.
My holiday bonus check
Wed, December 2, 2009 10:19:31 AM
From: EddieA
[email protected] $500 holiday bonus check
Yo, EddieA, you sending a bonus check my way,
and all I have to do is click on the handy link
that you provide. I never heard of you, I never
worked for you. Are you pushing porn, or, maybe,
a virus?
Shoo, EddieA, shoo.
Kobain comes back to his dish, about an hour after eating his breakfast snack, which is about a tablespoon of the store brand wet cat food. He looks in it, and then sniffs it, and then he walks over to Jaggar's bowl, looks in it, and sniffs it. Looking a little bit disappointed, Kobain then walks over the water bowl in the kitchen that he shares with Jaggar, and the two dogs, Morisson and Bundy. There is water in it; he walks away looking satisfied.
Our dating service is for you. We have lots of registered women who are interested in older men. How dare they categorize me as an older man. At 52, I figure that I am just getting started. How old are these women that are supposedly interested in me? Some people will stick their noses in anywhere to make a buck. I'm not even looking for a woman right now. I'm too old for all that.
As I get closer to next Monday, when the old left hip that I have, will be replaced by a new metal one, I'm getting all kind of great offers. My friend, LeeAnne has offered to manage my drag career, a career that I didn't even know was available to me. Is there a market for a hefty 52 year old man, who was never considered GQ, to run around in a blonde wig and mini-dress? Gag me with a spoon.
It occurred to me, tonight, as I was making coffee, that when I am talking to myself, as I go about this small apartment, that I might not always be talking to the dogs, cats, or turtles.
What if one of the dogs or cats calls the loony bin, and says, "Look here, this fellow that feeds us, has been talking to himself. Of course, that would be biting the hand that feeds you, and my dogs like to eat, so they will probably let me go on going crazy, if that is what I am doing, as long as I feed them. The people from the mental institution will show up, eventually, to find some very well adjusted, and very well fell animals, and an aging man who has long gone crazy. Well, he isn't hurting anyone, they might say, and who is going to feed these animals, if we take him away? They leave us alone, and the dogs, cats, and turtles, and I breath a collective sigh.
Cats are very intuitive. I'm convinced that my cats talk to themselves, also, but I am so busy talking to myself, that I mostly can't hear them. I think that dogs are more likely to go crazy thank cats; in fact for the longest time I was convinced that Bundy needed lithium, and I am not completely sure, now, that he doesn't. That dog is just a little bit crazy.
Does anyone have doggie umbrellas that I could borrow for my dogs?
It turns out that at least two sources sell doggie umbrellas. They looked pretty much alike, but there was a five dollar difference in price. You can find out just about anything on Google, now can't you? Rupert Murdoch doesn't like this. The fat old billionaire is lusting for another billion. What a pig.
Some people I have respect for and some I don't, and the older I get the more I am learning that we are all just human. I used to worship John Lennon…
I'm going to have to take a shower, today. When I was younger, I used to love taking showers, now I look upon them as a chore that must be undertaken to keep people from running away from me. My first morning coffee has been delightful. I am thankful to see this new day. Rain rain...
Jazz is not going to come back on our schedule, he is going to come back on his schedule. This pearl of wisdom just hit me, as I was contemplating baking banana bread for the very first time. Can someone make the bananas ripen up for me?
still talking to yourself? hehhehe
I always talk to myself, even at work,
in front of customers, on the register.
I m crazy.
You didn t know that
You must be crazy, if you didn't notice;
you've know me long enough.
Isn't it crazy how the crazy don't notice
when someone else is crazy?
My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard!
From: mymilkshake
Cum check me out!
I'll let you have a taste!
I'm going to bake banana bread from scratch, for the first time in my life. The young girl at the grocery store where I bought the ingredients, today, asked me if I was a, "Senior Citizen," and I said that, "I sure was," and she knocked three bucks off the bill.
Hey Sugar, are you being neglected?
From: Get Down To Business
To: Mikel K Poet
Why don't you let me take care of that?
I know how to please a man and get down 2 bidness!
Send me a hello if you like!
Oh yes, I would like to send you a hello. Can I give you my credit card number, and, maybe, my social security number, while I'm at it. Why don't I just open my wallet to you, and let you eat a deep hole in it. I bet that you are never satisfied when it comes to money. You would just swallow it all wouldn't you?
Somewhere around that point where sleep ends, and being awake takes over, I experienced this fear about my upcoming hip operation, which is now four days away. This is the first time that I have had any concern about the operation, and the fear lasted for only seconds.
Everybody can't be a poet, just like everybody can't be a doctor, a lawyer, or a mailman or woman.
I need to go to the Eye Doctor. I am supposed to go once a year, and, right now, I am several months behind. I wear reading glasses. Glasses can be a pain in the rear, but they help you see. Everything is blurry on my computer, and in the books that I read, if I don't wear reading glasses. I thought that that was important for you to know.
I can pretty much tell if a woman and I are going to make it by her interest in music. If she thinks that the band, "Fear," is a bunch of noise, then she has a music interest much like my parents did. See ya.
Jaggar is getting better about not scratching, and biting me, in the middle of the night, unless that was Kobain that I rubbed my feet up against, last night, while sleeping. One of the cats left a small pile of poo in the hallway that leads to the bathroom. I didn't step in it, which you have to be thankful for, as I headed for that first sleepy pee of the day.
It is Thursday; my hip replacement surgery is getting closer and closer. I really don't know what to expect; what it will be like to be put under by an anesthesiologist , what it will feel like to wake, and have a new hip. Will there be intense pain? How much trouble will I have walking? How much help will I need?
I think that I am a fairly independent person. It will be weird to have to depend on others for basic needs. I'm not exactly sure who the people are who will help me with these needs, but my son's mother seems to be offering her assistance, and, strangely, enough, maybe, many of my friends on Facebook have said that they want to help me out. I think that I am better at make friends in cyberspace, than I am at making them in the real world. Maybe I'm a better writer than I am a human being, Maybe I look better in pictures, than I do in real life. Maybe, in cyberspace, I put out a hello, how are you, nice to meet you attitude, and in real life I have conditioned myself to say stay away from me.
They are going to put a tube in my penis, so that I can pee through it into a bag. It is weird to think that someone(s) will be all up in your penis, and you won't even feel it. Isn't having your penis touched mostly a thing of feel? I am fucking with you here.
Also, I am pretty sure that I am going to be staying in the hospital for two or three days. Room service? I like hospital food, just like I used to like cafeteria food in high school, and many of you didn't. I didn't like the food in jail, though, back when I was getting locked up drunk. Even hung over, jail food wasn't palatable to me. We all have our standards?
At age 52, I am going to, finally, have to face the fact that I am a slob. I can't keep up with a living space, pay for it, and keep it clean. I think that if I had a cleaning service in here, once a day, that it would still not be enough. I don't really mind living messy, because it's my mess, but you know that when a love interest shows up, if she ever does, again, that she is not going to like it; most women like to live clean.
Part of the reason that I am a slob, I think, is because my parents were so fastidiously clean. Living in their house was like living in a bottle of bleach. I think that living spaces should be lived in, and not preserved like some sort of a museum, or art gallery. That's it, I'm rebelling against my parents.
Isn't there a point where you have to give up rebelling against your parents. Would not that point might be when you have children of your own?
Scout will be home from school in about ten minutes. I have a plate of food waiting for her, if she is hungry. I fixed my special fried rice dish, but I made it with peppers and salmon, which is different than the corn, peas, and onions that I usually make it with. It's rather tasty, if I might say so myself, and if Scout doesn't want it, I'll be glad to eat it.
There is also a nice sized piece of the first banana bread that I have ever baked from scratch. I got a recipe from a friend on Facebook. It was easy to make, and turned out really well. I want to learn more and more about cooking. Home cooking is where it's at, as far as I am concerned. Eating out is cool, too, but who can afford all that?
Someone told me that if you put bananas in paper bag, that they would ripen fast. Have you ever heard that? I now have some bananas in a bag. I am going to check on them soon. Sometimes, when I want to bake banana bread, the bananas take their own sweet time ripening, and then, other times, when I don't want them to ripen for any reason, they ripen fast. Do you think that bananas have a mind of their own, and that that mind is put here to irritate and outwit you, kind of like computers? I don't think so, but it sure seems like it at times.
My youngest son brought over a chair that he had found, while helping his older brother move. The chair was perfect for my needs: a recliner that I can put a light by, and read for hours. It is my chair, except for one thing: Jaggar has already moved in on it. He has been sitting in it almost the whole time that it has been here. I bet that he thinks that he has squatters' rights. Well, he is wrong. What sucks is that he is going to get his beautiful black hair all over my chair, and then I will be wearing his beautiful black hair when I get up from my chair. Sharing space with animals is a very interesting, and often amusing experience. I don't find it amusing, though, that Jaggar has taken over my chair. He needs to move on.
I'm living on a prayer; I woke this morning somewhat like I used to wake for decades of my life: depressed. The utility company was putting me in a serious hole, and I had just left my job due to medical needs. I am frugal with lights. I am frugal with heat, and still the bastards are able to hit me up for more than I can really pay. What the F?
Instead of swirling deeper into the depression, I put my hands together and prayed. I prayed like hell. I kept saying, "God guide me in though word and action. God guide me in thought word and action." I must have said it thirty times. And then I added in a bunch of, "Thank you, Lord, for letting me see the new day, breath the air of a new day."
And then I got my ass out of bed, fed the animals, made me some coffee, and I have beat the bad vibe. Shoo bad vibe; go away bad vibe!
Why do I need to be an asshole if someone else is an asshole? I don't, but I woke up near depressed, this morning, as close I have come to being depressed in years, and the lady who answered the phone at the pharmacy, when I called to find out about one of my pills, was kind of a bitch. I either wanted to hang up on her, or ream her a new asshole, but, I didn't: I said a little prayer, and the next voice I heard was the friendly one of the Pharmacist. I guess it's easier to be friendly when you are making far more money than minimum wage, but some people are dick heads no matter how much money they are making.
Using a speaker phone, when dealing with corporate Amerika on the phone can save you from much anguish. Instead of being held captive by the phone, you are free to do what you need to do, while these corporations making millions of dollars off of us put us through their push one for spanish, two to speak to another robot routine.
How would David Sedaris handle this? Or Augusten Burroughs? Or Donald Miller? They probably have personal secretaries to handle small business such as I was handling this morning. What I really need, though, is someone to come vacuum and clean my carpet. These damn dogs, and cats, are pigs.
How are you feeling today? Has my bitch made any sense to you? Can you relate brother and sister?
Someone is cutting a neighbor's lawn with a lawnmower that is make that most nauseating sound. No one should be allowed to cut their lawn when I am nursing a headache. I can't take any aspirin, this week, because of my upcoming hip operations, something to do with thinning of the blood. The lawnmower sounds like it is having a real bad day, like it is about to have a heart attack, and soon explode into oblivion.
I'm not Christmas shopping this year, I am Christmas baking. None of my family members are getting pounds of coffee beans, or gift certificates to useful stores; they are getting brownies, and banana bread, and, maybe, cookies.
My hip is getting harder, and harder to get around on. It is somewhat like a baby ready to be born: it wants to come out! I can't walk much, and I can't much walk without my cane. It feels weird to be so feeble. It is true that often we don't realize how good we have it, until our health is affected. The good news is that on Monday, this old hip comes out, and a new metal hip goes in. I wonder what it will be like to be put under. I wonder what I will feel like when I come back to see the light of day? I think that I am going to be laying in a hospital bed for a few days after the operation.
Room service!
The day started out dismal, but it is ending on a happy note. I baked a banana cake, today, and some half sugar brownies. Both were very yum, yum. I'm sipping on a coffee, right now. It doesn't get any better than this.
I have been told that you can start your day over, at any time that you choose to, and I am learning how to do this. A day that starts lousy, doesn't have to end lousy: we control much of our attitude.
For years I let my attitude control me.Now, I am a nearly perfect human being, in every respect.
Hah!
FB Headline: My hip is getting harder, and harder to get around on. It is somewhat like a baby ready to be born: it wants to come out! I can't walk much, and I can't much walk without my cain. It feels weird to be so feeble. It is true that often we don't realize how good we have it, until our health is affected. The good news is that on Monday, this old hip comes out, and a new metal hip goes in.
FB Headline:. This day has come to a close. What have I done, today, what will I do tomorrow? I had smiles for my fellow man and woman, all day, and, sometimes, that is all I have to offer. I put up some Christmas lights: they make me smile, and I hope that they make someone else smile. Smiling is an art form that we should all master. I am, mostly, the master of my own universe. I leave you with a smile as I head to sleep.
hey daddy
we re just a couple of old men, sitting around on Facebook every night
22:28Greg
yes sir i think i feel 42 tonight.
22:29Mikel
i can almost hear your voice
i shall call you mk
23:40Greg
fuck who am i?ust some dip shit with an attitude
yep dorkie willard
I m going to read a book for the last hour of this beautiful day
have a great night greg
23:44Greg
thank you good night sir
P 188 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Monkey wasn't waiting out front, this morning, when I came out with her food. I like it when she is waiting there for me, one because it is nice to see her, and say good morning to her, and two because I know that she is getting her food, and not some other neighborhood cat.
The well fed cat from next door has a habit of eating Monkey's breakfast, when he can, and I am not particularly thrilled about this. I am sure that this cat is getting fed next door, but he just likes our vittles better. It is around 30 degrees out there, this morning, and I am sure that Monkey is holed up somewhere warm.
Sometimes, in the afternoon, she will stand over her bowl, and start meowing. I take it then that she is hungry, and that someone else got her food in the morning. I love cats, but I can't feed every cat on the planet.
It is two days until my old hip is replaced with a new metal one. Once this procedure is complete, I will make the metal detectors at airports go off. "No, I m not a terrorist," I will tell the security guard, as I pull out a card from my Doctor's office stating that I have a metal hip.
Someone asked me if Lee Majors, the bionic man, was going to "Be with me," during the operation. I said, "Yes," and that once the surgery was over that I would be able to leap tall buildings with a single bound.
Rue Paul has just climbed onto the rock, where Prynce had already been laying, soaking up the heat from the lamp. It is cold out, this morning, and the turtles can feel it, and they seek heat, both from the lamp and from each other.
This morning, Prynce allowed Rue to climb up on his back, which he does not always do. I hope that in, keeping my heat turned down to 70 degrees, this winter, as opposed to the 80 degrees that I kept it at, last year, that I do not kill my turtles. The bill is unaffordable, either way. I wish that I was a millionaire so that I could make all the turtles' dreams come true.
Jaggar has completely taken over my new chair. He sits in it for most of the day, and night. He used to often hide under the bed, now he sits in the open in this chair instead.
Someone laughed the other night, in cyberspace, when I was telling my Facebook world that I was looking at my turtles.
"Don't you know," she said, "that The President is on the t.v. talking about sending more troops to war."
I had turned my cable off, trying to lower bills, because I would be out of work due to my hip surgery, so I didn't know that The President was giving a speech about war; all I knew was that my turtles were fascinating to watch. There is a lesson in here, somewhere, if we look.
I don't care about being on The New York Times best selling list; I care about having food for my dogs, cats, and turtles. I care about not going stark raving mad trying to satisfy the insatiable desires of the utility company. I like free time, I like to be free to write, and think, and mingle with my kids, and Elliot, my new grandkid, when they will all let me.
Have I told you about my grandson.? He is small. He smiles, and he is wary. He is not sure what to make of this large, loud man with the beard, who his momma, or daddy, have handed him to. Sometimes he laughs and has fun in the man's hands. Sometime, he pitches a fit, often immediately, to get back in the hands of mommy or daddy.
He is soft, and as he grows, he will know that his granddaddy loves him, and that his granddaddy is fun to be around. Granddaddy is glad that he doesn't have to change Elliot's diapers. Grandchildren are much less work than children, at least in my case, with, maybe, more of the benefits. I feel privileged that I lived long enough to be a grandfather.
Elliot, I love you.
Have you ever noticed that some Christmas music has the same feel to it, as music that you would expect to hear at a mental institution: kind of soft, kind of loving. Would that make Santa a patient, or part of the staff?
"We'll love you until you can love yourself." Have you ever had that said to you? I had it said to me a lot, when I first got sober, and, though I didn't fully understand what it meant, I liked the ring of it. I didn't feel loved as a kid, and I still didn't feel loved. Love is important. Let love ring.
FB Headline: Someone stole Monkey's food, this morning, and I just had to feed her, again; she was hovering over her food bowl, and pitching a fit. I mean what good is a food bowl, if there is no food in it?
Monkey knows that I will feed her, and, I guess, she now knows that I will feed her, again, if someone rips her food off. I guess that I have been feeding Monkey well, because people are saying that she has gotten fat. I may not be the only one feeding her. That cat may be a food con-artist.. From now on, if Monkey is not there, I am not putting her food bowl down for her. She will have to be there to get fed.
*******
I so appreciate your posts-- humorous and uplifting. Glad to know you, and, of course, I will be praying for you.--Merritt Serio
Smiles; happiness is a great gift!!! YOU have the talent/gift to make em laugh!! Smiles help us heal(maybe live longer) that is a great "offering"
--Sandy Roxanne Moore
Morisson has soft paws; Bundy doesn't. Dogs are like people, each one has a different feel. Sometimes, I feel more comfortable around my dogs than I do people. Everybody wants to be a Rock Star, but not everyone can have a ruthless manager, and an evil record label. Some of us have to be unemployed poets. It's cold out today; I'm not joking.
I just canceled a deal. I don't think he understood the material, and I didn't understand him. I'm in no hurry on the project. If it never gets done, it won't ruffle my feathers. My hand should fit your glove; in this case it didn't.
My dogs are weird about coming back into the house, when we have been outside for a visit. If it is a nice day, it is hard to get them to come back in; like today: there were a billion birds sifting through the trees. Is this weird for December? Is nature out of kilter. Is Al Gore out to make a buck by leading us to Global Sanity. Is anybody pure?
Morisson loves olives, while Bundy spits them out, and they both hate onions, and won't eat spinach or lettuce unless there is some dressing on them.
I baked a farewell banana bread tonight, It is the forth banana bread, from scratch, that I have ever baked in my life. I'm going to give half of it to Kevin, tomorrow, as he takes me to the Doctor's office for my pre-op visit, and then to the hospital to have my hip replacement surgery.
So far, I am not nervous. People have been asking me this. People in cyberspace have been so nice. They seem to be the only ones who care about me, besides Kevin, and he is getting half of this banana bread that I just cooked because I can't give him a million dollars, like I would like to: he is worth that much to me.
Twenty years ago he showed up, and became my sons' other father. For twentry years, he has been there for all of us. Sometimes you get lucky with the people that God puts in your life, and sometimes you get screwed. The kids and I got lucky with Kevin.
I just packed my suitcase. I think that I am going to have to stay in the hospital for a few days, and then I think I may have to stay at the kid's mom's house with her and her wonderful live in sin boyfriend, Andy. I packed for six days; I think that should cover it.
I also packed bags for Morisson and Bundy. Bundy will stay with Kevin, and Morisson will stay with Gigi and Andy, and the four dogs that they already have: Javi, Mojo, Shawtie, and Shanghai. I felt sadder about packing the dogs bags than I did my own. I wonder if Jaggar will bite me when I return home, like he did the last time that I went away? I was gone five days that time.
I can't wait to have this surgery. I am told that I will be able to return to my Yoga, and return to walking my dogs, and return to a life of normal mobility, where every anaesthetist step is not a painful one to take. I used to complain about doctors, moan and groan that they were only after our money. I'm thankful for the Doctor who is removing my hip. As I age I bitch less, and less. I realize more and more what a beautiful gift life is and how lucky I am to be living it. I don't point the finger so much anymore. I worry about me, and not you.
The part of tomorrow's hip replacement journey that I am most curious about is how it will feel when I am brought back around by the anaesthetihiologist after have been out for two hours. It is weird that they can knock you out like that and then bring you back.
I'm sure that I will be happy to be back.
Facebook Heading at Noon Today by Mikel K Poet: This is so embarrassing, after all the wonderful thoughts you all have sent out to me, but the surgery will not take place until Jan. 11, due to a mix up in scheduling. I am very bummed out about this, but have decided to start my day over, and look for the positive in it. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!
Facebook Headline at 5pm today by K: I just dumped the dogs a go a visiting food back in the big bag of stay at home dog food; their visit was cut short, like mine, due to a scheduling mishap regarding my hip replacement surgery, today. I just unpacked my suitcase, put my toothpaste back on the shelve, my clothes back on hangers, and in drawers. They won't be cutting this hip that is giving me so much pain out of my body for another month(Jan. 11) Things happen for a reason; tis the season for love, and I will try not to bitch.
Excerpt from, "Did You Write The Book Of Love? by Mikel K (Forthcoming)
So, I get to the Doctor's office, today, ready for my hip replacement surgery at one p.m., and the scheduling lady tells me that I never called back to confirm, so here I am with a packed suitcase, and a good I'm going to have my hip operated on attitude and no operation is going to happen.
The lady was kind of surly, at first, so I yelled at her. I'm sure that that is not an appropriate thing to do in a doctor's office. There were tears forming in my eyes. I have left my job. I am in great pain, and now I have another month and four days to wait until I get to give this old hip that I've got away, and get another one, a metal one.
I apologized to the lady when she came around from her desk to hand me the pink slip with my new surgery appointment time. She seemed to accept my apology; we hugged. I really don't want to point the finger at her, and I really don't want to accept any blame. What's done is done.
I told Kevin, on the way home, that I was going to try very hard to start my day over, and have a good attitude about this whole thing. I'm sure that no one was out to get me, or out to ruin my day: or month.
Sometimes things just happen. Things don't always go your way all the time.(Or mine!)
--Mikel K
PS My black cat Jaggar seems to be happy that I am home; he was just rubbing up against my ankle in the hallway, as I put clothes in the washer. When I left the house for five days, recently, Jaggar bit me on the ankle when I got home.
My dogs have begun to scratch themselves, and it was my thought that they couldn't have fleas in the cold. I have no money for flea control medicine, so they will have to keep scratching, and I will have to keep being irritated by their itching. There is no universal flea control care for poor dogs.
I'm tired, but I think that my last cup of coffee is going to give me at least another hour in this day. "No one's awake. No one's loving me," are the lines that come to mind, but I don't start that poem because it seems sappy; self-indulgent.
We are where we are for a reason. If we are alone, it must be meant to be. Most marriages, most relationships end in failure: all mine have. That's not quite true. I am still "involved" with most every woman who I have ever been involved with, from the one who gave me three children, to several one to two or three night stands.
This pain that I feel is because I am alone tonight, and I don't want to be alone tonight: I don't know what is the matter with me, I usually like being alone.
My ass is fat, and it is going to get fatter in this in limbo month of waiting that I have been cast into. I can't exercise, I can't hardly walk, so I sit at this desk all day and write, and socially network. The social networking helps the writing, It keeps me fresh. It gives me ideas. The people who I network with make me smile. They give me advice. One gave me a recipe for banana bread, and that has kicked in my new hobby: baking.
My next baking project will be a carrot cake. I found a nice recipe for one on the internet. It's weird that I am interested in baking. It's even weirder that I am writing about it, and sharing the info. to my social network. I used to be a badass. I was voted the "best" spoken word performer by the local rag two years in a row. I was a music writer who people read. I had a bad ass band; and now I bake banana bread, and carrot cakes.
What happened?
Morisson knocked over my heater, last night, the one that I place on a stool by my bed, so that I can keep the central heat turned on low, to try to keep the bill down, which is not really working. I think that the utility company is out to get me, that it is out to get us all!
There was a storm outside, and Morisson got up on his hind legs, put his paws on the bed, and kept trying to get his head underneath my no longer sleeping hand. Finally, he jumped up on the bed, where his goal was the same thing as it was when he had been on the floor: to get his head under my hand. He wanted the security that my hand provides him.
I hope that he didn't break my heater. It didn't work the first time that I tried it, last night, but then it appeared to work later. Poor Morisson, he is such a freak when it comes to storms, especially to thunder, and lightening. Bundy isn't bothered by it at all. It is funny how each dog has their particular pet peeves.
I'm tired, but I think that my last cup of coffee is going to give me at least another hour in this day.
"No one's awake. No one's loving me," are the lines that come to mind, for a poem, but I don't start that poem because it seems sappy, self-indulgent.
We are where we are for a reason. If we are alone, it must be meant to be. Most marriages, most relationships end in failure: all mine have. That's not quite true. I am still "involved" with most every woman who I have ever been involved with, from the one who gave me three children, to several one to two or three night stands. This pain that I feel is because I am alone tonight, and I don't want to be alone tonight. I don't know what is the matter with me; I usually like being alone.
I just woke; again. Usually I wake up early, like around five a.m. and then put in two or three hours on the laptop: typing, writing, then I go back to bed for a couple of hours. I am groggy, this afternoon, after my nap, as I often a.m. I have my trusty cup of coffee at my elbow. It should help the grogginess; it often does.
"Oh God, yes," I say, when my mouth touches that cup of coffee for the first time. I have made yet another perfect cup; just right in taste, just right in temperature. I am in for five minutes of pleasure.
I'm going to the unemployment office, today. I don't know what to expect. I had to leave my job because I'm getting that new hip. My supervisor checked, "Left for personal reasons," on my separation notice, and that I was, "rehirable," which is not what my general manager said.
She said that it was policy not to take an employee back after a four to six weeks rehab period, which is what the doctor told me that I would need, after the surgery.; but there was a girl in the bookstore, just the other day, who had left for several months, and was working again, so I don't know if my main boss was quoting official corporate policy, or was just making it clear to me that she didn't want me back. Such ambiguity is not comforting. Not having a job to come back to after getting a new hip, and rehabbing it is not comforting. Life in the work force is often not comforting. Why do they have to jack you around so?
I realized, today, that as my hip gets worse and worse that less and less gets done around this apartment. I don't, mostly, feel like cooking. The laundry is piled up. The dishes in the sink are piled up. I am using a cane to get around the apartment, now. I really can't wait to have this hip replacement surgery. Kevin, and I, are going to what they call a Pre-Op Appointment, tomorrow morning. I called the Doctor's Office to verify that our appointment was still at 8 a.m. and the lady came back on the phone and said, "Your appointment is at 10;30." She didn't seem real happy about living.
I took a nap, and a lady woke me, mostly wanting my insurance info. When she was done getting the info. out of me that she wanted, I asked her what time my appointment was. She put me on hold, and when she came back, she said, "11:00 a.m."
I told her that someone else had said, "10:30," and she said, "Well, come in at 10:30 then."
Kevin called, a little later, to verify the time, and the woman who he spoke to said, "10:15 a.m."
What the fuck. I wonder how these folks would be treating someone getting a new heart?
At the instruction of my Doctor, the nurse took my blood, the other day, and gave me a red arm bracelet, which, if I don't bring it on the day of the operation, will mean that I have to have the blood drawn all over, again, on the day of the operation, and they really frown upon that, so I better not forget it.
I have it taped to the ceramic turtle on my desk that holds all my day to day stuff, like my wallet, my keys, my pens, and the apparatuses that I use to prick blood from my finger and measure my sugar count.
The day draws closer where they will cut the old hip out of me. I met with an anesthesiologist, the other day; either he, or another anesthesiologist will put me under, a legal black out of sorts, where I will reek no terror upon myself, or anyone else, and will not wind up in a drunk tank covered in blood and puke.
I am ready for this surgery. I have never had surgery before in my life, but I have been told over and over by people who either have had the surgery, or have known people who have had the surgery that I will practically be able to walk on water once I have undergone the surgery, and have gone through the rehab process.
Another day ends as I grab Monkey's silver bowl, and bring it in the house, as the dog's come running in with me. "Go home, go home," I have said to them. I feed the turtles' and turn their light out. It is good to have a home; it is certainly good to have a home.
Things get complicated, when I can't just write. Selling books, and checking for money in Pay Pal accounts are not what I am gifted at, but, in order to one day pay the rent with my words, I guess that this is the path that I have to embark on. I am not complaining. Someone was good to me, today. They made sure that I will have High Speed DSL for the next month, and with High Speed Internet, I would certainly whither away, and no longer be in your existence.
On Monday, they cut my old, ailing left hip out.
*******
As I am standing in the kitchen, cane under my arm, this morning, struggling to cover a couple of just toasted pieces of wheat toast with peanut butter and marmalade, I think of how I will spend four days in a hospital room, next week, after my hip replacement surgery, and that someone will be cooking my food, and bringing it to me for those four days.
I am reminded of that scene in the move, "Clockwork Orange," where the lead character, Alex, finds himself in the enviable position of laying in a bed with people bringing him whatever he wants, because they want him to join a cause that they have created, for his rehabilitation. The look on his face, and the way that he smacks his lips, and looks totally pleased that HE is in charge have always cracked me up.
Anyway, I won't be in charge, and I won't be able to get whatever I want, but I won't be struggling to make a peanut butter sandwich, in my kitchen, with a can under my arm, either.
This time, tomorrow, I will be signing in to have my hip replacement surgery. I am not nervous, like some people have been asking me, I am ready to go; ready to go into this next phase of my hip story, which I see as having four parts.
The first part has been this pre-surgery part, where I have learned to live with pain, immobility, and a cane. The second part is the surgery, and all that goes with that including the anesthesiology, and the four day hospital stay related to the surgery. The third is the rehab period, where I will have folks working with me to teach me how to walk with a metal hip inside my body, and the fourth is the rest of my life, where I and my new hip are one, taking Yoga together, walking the dogs together, sounding the alarm at airport security check points together, living a full, active pain free life, together.
No, I am not nervous about the surgery that I am going to have tomorrow; I embrace it and look forward to it as part of this path that I am on.
My coffee, this morning was very satisfying. As I drank it, I realized that I would be unable to drink one tomorrow morning, as I can have no food, or liquids after midnight tonight, because my hip replacement surgery is at ten a.m. tomorrow morning. I do not know what to expect of the surgery. I have never undergone surgery before, unless having your tonsils out as a kid qualifies.
To my way of thinking, surgeons and anesthesiologist, and the rest of the team, are God-like in what they do. The anesthesiologist can take life, and give life back, in a sense, by putting you under, and then bringing you back to consciousness, and the doctor can give you a new body part, which makes your quality of life better, and all the folks that assist the doctor and the anesthesiologist, help make that miracle happen.
I have long whined, in person, and in poems, that all doctors care about are Porsches and swimming pools. I now see what a great, great service they can provide to humanity. Perhaps they deserve those Porsches and swimming pools.
I am not here to debate all that, today, I m just thankful for where I am at and where I am going to be, tomorrow, during surgery. I have lived with great pain for the last several months, and my mobility has gotten more and more impaired. The people who are going to help change that deserver props.
The Landlady came to the door, and said that the water was cut off to The House, because some pipes had burst. I'm not showering much because of this painful hip, so I wasn't too worried about it, and then I went in to fix a cup of coffee: GAG!! I dashed off a quick email to G2, and asked her if she could grab me a gallon of water, when she stopped by The Pharmacy to pick up my pills for me. She brought two gallons of water, with the pills, and...there was a copy of one of The Leading Music Rags in the bag, and two crossword magazines. This woman gave me three kids, but couldn't live with me because alcohol and mental illness had my ass, never stopped loving me, even through
all the hard times, and I told her tonight that, "as mad as I ever was at her, I always loved
her."
It has been a week since my surgery. It has been a long, and strange week, full of pain, and disorientation. I have met many people on this path, that I am on called rehabilitation; most of them have had a smile on their faces while I have been grimacing out at them in pain. They seem to understand what I am going through, they seem to have been down this road before. I hope that I don't have to go down this road ever again.
I like the sound of grandchildren or a grandchild playing more than I do the moronic sounds emitted into my existence by a tv that someone else controls. When I control a tv, it doesn't much get turned on.
No wheelchair push ups on the weekends: There is no physical therapy up here on the second floor of the rehab unit, on the weekends, so we mostly sleep, and eat
There are no cameras on The Rehab Unit(except for mine;) no one is worried about being a huge superstar, (except for me,) and it is, usually, more important, to me, that I make it back to my room on time to get my dinner tray, than it is to stop and have a photo op!!
In December, this 91 year old lady, was doing really well rehabbing her new hip, according to her niece, and then, one day, while she was using the bathroom, the little old lady had a stroke, which left her paralyzed on one side of her body.
Since then, the little old lady, has refused to go to Physical Therapy, or to leave her room. A couple of days ago, she quit eating. Her niece was just in here, where I am sitting on the internet, getting ice with tears in her eyes.
"She didn't have any children," said the women as she headed off to, once again, care take her now dieing aunt. "We will have to find another place for her to stay," she said, as she walked away.
My roommate Dave, a 68 year old man, prays over his food, without fail, every time they feed him, no matter how bad, or good, that he is feeling. I am impressed by this; I usually gobble down my food without thanking anybody.
About a week ago, Dave asked me to cut up his food for him; he has partial paralysis in his arms. Every day since then I have been snooping over to his side of the room to see what he got to eat, and if I might be able to help him out by cutting it up for him.
This morning, Dave had pancakes, sausage, and pears...I chopped them up for him, and then went back to my side of the room. A few minutes later, the nurse came into our room. She looked at Dave, and she looked at me, and she said, "You cut up his food," like I was in trouble. (They try to make us do as much for ourselves as we can up here.)
"Yes, Mam," I said. "Do you want another tray?" she asked me.
"Why, yes," I replied. (I'm almost always in the mood for more food!)
The Nurse was rewarding me for helping Dave out. There is a lesson here, and I have learned it. I expected nothing for helping Dave. I like the guy, and just wanted to make his life easier, because I could.
What goes around comes around.
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I read a sad story today about the lingering repercussions of losing one's job. So many people are hurting out there. What can we do? Pray...? I believe in prayer, but sometimes the problems in the world seem that they are insurmountable by mere prayer; do you know what I am saying?
------------------------------------------
I touched my hip for the first time today since the operation, nearly a month ago. I think that I have been scared to put my hand on my hip until now. I can feel where the sutures were. I can feel the swollenness of my hip. It is weird to think that a metal hip is now in there.
This is the end
| i don't know |
What is the only country which is crossed by both the equator and the tropic of capricorn? | Which South American countries does the Tropic of Capricorn pass through? | Reference.com
Which South American countries does the Tropic of Capricorn pass through?
A:
Quick Answer
The South American countries that lie within the Tropic of Capricorn are Argentina, Brazil, Chile and Paraguay. Brazil is the only country in the world that crosses both the Equator and either tropic.
Full Answer
The Tropic of Capricorn, also called the Southern Tropic, lies approximately 23.5 degrees south of the Equator. It is the southernmost point at which the sun can be seen directly overhead at the winter solstice when the southern hemisphere is tilted toward the sun. It drifts slowly north at the rate of about 16 yards a year. The Tropic of Capricorn marks the dividing line between the Southern Temperate Zone on the south and the tropics on the north. The climates of most of the countries along the Tropic of Capricorn are arid or semi-arid. Summer comes to the Tropic of Capricorn during December, when the region receives its highest amount of direct solar radiation.
The Tropic of Capricorn, named some 2,000 years ago, is so called because the sun reaches its highest point in the sky in the constellation Capricornus in December. The tropics are named for the Greek word “tropos,” meaning to turn, because the sun seems to turn and head in the opposite direction across the sky after the solstice.
| Brazil |
Which British city has an underground railway system which is nicknamed The Clockwork Orange? | Tropic of Capricorn
Tropic of Capricorn
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WHAT'S NEW?
Tropic of Cancer has been released as a DVD boxset. It's available at a discount from Amazon here .
The paperback edition of Tropic of Capricorn has been published - click here to get a copy from Amazon at a bargain price.
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TROPIC OF CAPRICORN
Broadcast from FEBRUARY 10TH - MARCH 2ND 2008 ON BBC2 AT 8PM
Daily Telegraph: “spectacular sights…like all the best travellers, Reeve carries out his investigations with infectious relish, and in the realisation that trying to understand the country you’re in is not just fascinating, but also hugely enjoyable.”
Buy Simon's latest book from here via Amazon:
Short extract from the book:
'There is no ceremony or fanfare to mark our launch, no champagne, flags or bunting, but I say a few words wishing us a safe journey, almost a traveller’s prayer. We finish our picnic, toss a few crusts to the gulls circling outside and start the engines. Here we go. Deep breaths. We are off.
'Golden sand dunes run right down to the sea just a few miles from the Tropic of Capricorn, and the only way of crossing them is to head inland a few hundred metres and go over the top, one by one. Our drivers, Doug and Jacques, both originally from South Africa, are old hands at travelling through this remote corner of the world, but I still find the dunes intimidating. Initially they rise gently and the Toyota engines purr. Gradually the height increases and the slopes become frighteningly steep, soon they begin to soar. I grip my seat and our engines scream as we battle our way up a dune hill hundreds of metres above sea level.
'We reach the top, balance precariously on the sandy crest and the Namib Desert unfolds before my eyes. I gaze in awe. The landscape of the desert, running 2,000 kilometres from South Africa to Angola, is simply out of this world. Mountainous glowing dunes rise from the very edge of the deep blue Atlantic. Inland, endless ripples of sand snake into the empty distance. I laugh out loud. Any lurking doubts I have about this Capricorn journey evaporate instantly. From the very beginning this random line has already brought me somewhere ethereally beautiful, somewhere remote I would never normally be able to visit.'
Daily Telegraph: “like all the best travellers, Reeve carries out his investigations with infectious relish, and in the realisation that trying to understand the country you’re in is not just fascinating, but also hugely enjoyable.”
In this huge challenge, author and broadcaster Simon Reeve set out on a unique journey to track the Tropic of Capricorn around the globe. Motivated by a desire to learn more about forgotten corners of the world, Simon headed east through Africa, Australia and South America, discovering breathtaking sights, strange rituals, desperate poverty and exotic wildlife. For the 22,835-mile Tropic of Capricorn marks the southern border of the tropics, and crosses some of the wildest and most spectacular parts of our planet.
This series has a strong current affairs theme, with issues including vanishing forests, poverty, smuggling, threatened whales and a forgotten genocide. But it is also a spectacular travelogue. Simon crossed the Kalahari Desert and the stark Atacama Desert of Chile, perhaps the driest place on Earth. Following Capricorn took him over hills, across lush valleys, rusting railway lines, dusty roads, between homes and hovels, through farms and villages, to the biggest city in the entire developing world.
Prog One: Namibia & Botswana - Feb 10th, 8pm
Prog Two: South Africa to Madagascar - Feb 17th, 8pm
Prog Three: W.Australia to Queensland - Feb 24th, 8pm
Prog Four: Chile to Brazil - March 2nd, 8pm
Photos from the first leg of the trip are here
Watch the programmes at the BBC Capricorn website
Or watch the programmes at this site on Youtube
Simon's travel CV at Wanderlust
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In this exciting new series, Simon Reeve finds giant rats detecting landmines and is forced to eat penis soup by Madagascan royalty. Simon meets miners scrabbling for gems in dark, dangerous tunnels and the British anthropologist fighting to save forest communities in South America. He goes hunting with a legendary tribe of former cannibals, struggles the equivalent of half-way up Everest, survives on ‘piss pills’ and coca leaves, eats dried caterpillars, grilled llama, sheep eyes, and searches for wild honey in the forests of northern Argentina.
While following Capricorn Simon is surrounded by a pack of hungry cheetahs, finds flamingoes 4km up in the Andes, a pregnant humpback whale off Australia, lemurs in Madagascar and elephants under threat of culling in southern Africa. He witnesses the age-old ceremony that sparks the Holy Fire of the Herero tribe, discovers desperate Zimbabweans jumping razor wire to get into South Africa, meets a traditional healer now becoming part of the Botswanan NHS and is taught to shoot an AK-47 by Afrikaaner farmers.
Along Capricorn Simon visits a diamond mine described as the most lucrative hole on the planet, but discovers villagers living in poverty next to luxury hotels, squalor in the shadow of Uluru (Ayers Rock) and bleached coral on the Great Barrier Reef. He meets the French ‘Catman’ saving cheetahs in Namibia, Chinese businessmen making their fortune in Africa, prostitutes ravaged by AIDS and surviving Bushmen who live deep inside the Kalahari desert alongside their lion ‘cousins’.
Next to the worst asbestos-contaminated site in the world Simon finds a devoted couple refusing to leave their home. He travels along Capricorn by van, car, train, boat, horseback, helicopter, plane, and roars through the Australian Outback in a 50-metre-long $1m road train. Simon learns how ‘tavy’ has destroyed the forests of Madagascar, and visits the Great Barrier Reef, the Kruger National Park, and the Igua�u falls, the most impressive waterfalls in the world.
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The start of the Tropic of Capricorn series, broadcast 10 Feb 2008:
Trailer for Tropic of Capricorn programme broadcast 10 Feb 2008:
CAPRICORN prog one – NAMIBIA AND BOTSWANA (tx 8pm, February 10th 2008):
The journey starts in Namibia, on a remote beach in the Namib-Nauklaft National Park, where the Tropic of Capricorn hits Africa. The spectacular desert scenery makes this area, like much of this huge country, a huge draw for adventure tourists. First stop is Swakopmund, Namibia’s second city, a place with strong German connections, where Mein Kampf and photos of Hitler are still on sale in the local curio shop. Namibia used to be a German colony and the country has a dark past: German colonisers killed tens of thousands of locals in a forgotten genocide, which Simon learns about from a local historian whose relatives suffered in German ‘concentration camps’ in Namibia. Following an amazing encounter with a pack of hungry cheetahs and a French conservationist nicknamed ‘Catman’, Simon arrives in the capital Windhoek, where he meets prostitutes infected with HIV (Namibia has one of the highest infection rates in the world) and witnesses at first hand the growing influence of China in Africa. Travelling across the vast interior of the country Simon meets members of the Herero tribe, goes out on horseback to round-up cattle, and witnesses the Herero Holy Fire ceremony.
Moving on to Botswana, Simon finds a country that confounds many of the stereotypes of poor Africa. Well-run, with cattle-patrols that keep stray cows off the roads, Botswana is making a fortune from tourism and a natural resource that never seems to lose its lustre: the world’s largest diamond mine, just south of the Tropic of Capricorn, produces millions of dollars worth of stones every week, funding universal education and extensive healthcare. The mining firm has forked out on anti-AIDS drugs to keep its workforce functioning in a country where HIV rates have rocketed up to 40%.
But not all Botswanans are benefiting from the national prosperity. On the edge of the Kalahari desert many of the legendary San people – also known as the Bushmen of the Kalahari – have been moved out of the desert into depressing resettlement camps by a government that says it wants them to be part of the modern world. The government has provided basic huts and schools for the San, who are among the poorest people in southern Africa, but many of the San are having difficulty adapting to the modern world. In a spectacular journey into the heart of the Kalahari Desert, Simon seeks out the remaining San who are still living in the desert alongside their lion ‘cousins’. Some San have won a legal battle, and plan to return to live in their Kalahari homeland, but as Simon finds out, life can be tough in this beautiful, brutal environment.
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Trailer for Tropic of Capricorn programme broadcast 17 Feb 2008:
CAPRICORN prog two – S.AFRICA TO MADAGASCAR (tx 8pm, Feb 17th 2008):
The second leg of Simon’s journey begins in the northern part of South Africa, a white stronghold during the apartheid era. Simon meets a group of white Afrikaaner farmers who are armed and ready to defend their land in what feels like an increasingly hostile world. The farmers still own the best land and fear it may one day be taken from them, just like in collapsing Zimbabwe, a short drive to the north. Thousands of Zimbabweans cross illegally into SA every week, fleeing hunger and persecution, and at the border Simon witnesses a dramatic human tragedy as young men struggle past thick rolls of razor wire. Simon then heads-out with the white Afrikaaner farmers, who run vigilante patrols rounding up the Zimbabwean refugees. The Boers catch several young Zimbabwean boys, and hand them over to the police, who will send them home.
Heading east along Capricorn, Simon encounters awesome wildlife around the Kruger National Park, where proposals to cull the booming elephant population are causing huge controversy, before he enters Mozambique. This beautiful country is still recovering, 15 years after a brutal civil war. Landmines still litter the country, but Simon encounters an unusual project to clear them quickly using Giant Gambian Pouched Rats, whose keen sense of smell can detect explosives under the ground. Much of Mozambique’s coast is a tropical paradise, and tourism is a great hope for the economy. But on one island of exclusive “eco tourist” resorts, where Leonardo di Caprio has holidayed, Simon finds locals living in abject poverty.
Simon flies across the Indian Ocean to Madagascar, the world’s fourth largest island. After the BBC team’s baggage fails to arrive Simon heads out to explore the capital, Antananarivo, known by all as Tana, a unique blend of African, Indian Ocean, and French colonial influences. In the main market Simon’s guide encourages him to eat zebu penis soup, an acquired taste, before the bags finally arrive and they fly to the remote south of the island. Driving across Madagascar takes Simon across one of the poorest but most beautiful countries in the world. He passes through spiny forest, a unique habitat of giant octopus and baobab trees, learns how ‘tavy’ – a form of slash and burn agriculture – has destroyed up to 90% of Madagascar’s primary forest, then witnesses men crawling through dangerous underground tunnels in search of sapphires. His journey ends after he takes a spectacular train journey through the mountainous highlands to the east coast.
Clips from Tropic of Capricorn programme broadcast 17 Feb 2008:
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Trailer for Tropic of Capricorn programme broadcast 24 Feb 2008:
CAPRICORN prog three – AUSTRALIA (tx 8pm, February 24th 2008):
The Tropic of Capricorn cuts through three country-sized regions of Australia (Western Australia, the Northern Territory, and Queensland). the vast wilderness of the Outback. This is not the Australia of Neighbours and Home and Away, it is the heart of Australia, a remote and spectacular place populated by extraordinary people and wildlife – and the scene of some intractable and unexpected social problems.
The line hits Western Australia near Ningaloo reef, on the migration route of the mighty humpback whale. Simon witnesses the unforgettable sight of female whales nursing their calves before the long trip south to Antarctica – but discovers their pristine sanctuary may be under threat from plans to build a vast salt pan nearby. Western Australia is rich in natural resources, but this has not always been a blessing. Heading east to beautiful Karijini National Park, Simon arrives in a region with a sinister history. Nearby Wittenoom Gorge was the location of Australia’s biggest asbestos mine. Thousands have died after working at the mine, and the authorities, believing it is the worst asbestos-contaminated site in the world, are demolishing the nearby town. But a few diehards have refused to leave, including a tough Outback couple determined to stay in the ghost town.
Next, Simon hops aboard a three-car road-train which powers its way across the Outback to Newman, site of the world’s largest open-cut mine – which sends millions of tons of ore to fuel China’s booming economy. Newman is attracting workers from across Australia, drawn by huge salaries. This is the last town before the unpopulated deserts of central Australia; Simon’s next stop is Alice Springs, a remote town in the Northern Territory (NT), but also the world centre of Aboriginal art. Many Aboriginal communities in the NT are in a desperate state, wracked by violence, child abuse and poverty. Simon arrives at a crucial moment: a powerful government taskforce has been established to retake control of communities. In the shadow of Uluru/Ayers Rock, Simon discovers third world conditions in an Aboriginal community.
Onwards to Queensland, Simon arrives in cattle-country and stays with a couple whose 183,000 acres have not seen significant rain for seven years – they live in a dustbowl of biblical proportions. Some experts say this is the first time climate change has had a serious impact on a developed country. Simon heads east along Capricorn to stunning Heron Island, home to one of the world’s pre-eminent marine research centres. The island is at the southern end of the Great Barrier Reef, where Simon learns climate change threatens to wipe out the reef.
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CAPRICORN prog four – CHILE to BRAZIL (tx 8pm, March 2nd 2008):
Simon Reeve and the team started in Chile and crossed the Atacama Desert, perhaps the driest place on earth (some areas receive just two per cent of the moisture in the Sahara). Guided by a local indigenous leader Simon found a beautiful mountain lake, now threatened by mining development, then crossed the high Andes, more than 4.5km above sea-level, into Argentina. In the Andean foothills Simon discovered the shy vicu�a, a creature kept and sheared for the finest and softest fibre in the world. Suits made from vicu�a fibre can cost �15,000.
In Argentina Simon met John Palmer, an English anthropologist who studies the Wich� forest people, and has married into a community. He stayed in a Wich� community, went hunting for wild honey, and discovered bulldozers using giant chains to log the forests around their village at a terrifying rate. The Wichi community chief told Simon he fears for the future of these ancient forest people.
Crossing into mysterious Paraguay, Simon visited a former torture centre in the capital Asunci�n with a doctor who was tortured there when Paraguay was a dictatorship. Simon visited a farming area and learnt Paraguay is riding a soy boom driven by European demand for pig feed and biofuel – a hugely controversial issue. Driving east, Simon arrived in the town of Ciudad del Este, one of the world’s great smuggling centres, and crossed into Brazil just as customs officials arrested a bullet smuggler. In the same area, Simon visited the beautiful Igua�u waterfalls, where the extraordinary opening scenes of The Mission were filmed.
Simon travelled onwards to S�o Paulo, and was awed by the biggest city in the developing world. With his dreadlocked guide, Simon saw the wealth of the city, then visited a neighbourhood that used to be the most violent place on the planet, where Simon met and made pizzas with young locals who have escaped gangs and drugs. The journey finished next to a Tropic of Capricorn monument on the coast of Brazil, on December 22nd, 2007, the day of the solstice.
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Buy Simon's latest book from here via Amazon:
<br />
Silver Award winner at the 2007 Wanderlust Travel Awards
This Capricorn journey starts in Namibia, and takes viewers through Botswana, South Africa, Mozambique, Madagascar, Western Australia, the Northern Territory, Queensland, Chile, Argentina, Paraguay and Brazil.
Transmission: 4 x 60 minutes on BBC2
Starts: Sunday 10th February @ 8pm
Duration: Four weeks
Sunday Times: Pick of the Week
Sunday Telegraph: Pick of the Week
New Statesman: Pick of the Week
Daily Mail: “Five Stars…a series that will go down as one of the high points of the television year...brilliant…hugely enjoyable...a fascinating, illuminating journey…much more than a travelogue. As well as jaw-dropping beauty, we see poverty, smuggling, deforestation, endangered wildlife, widespread HIV, a forgotten genocide… It sounds bleak, but thanks to the informed, inquisitive and genial Reeve, it makes compelling television.”
Radio Times: “moving stories and remarkable sights”
Time Out: “amusing, disturbing and fascinating…engaging and informative”
The Sun: “an epic quest…extraordinary stories”
Daily Mirror: “Epic of Capricorn...fun, fascinating and frightening...Simon Reeve would give even Phileas Fogg a run for his money”
The Independent: “Reeve is a very likeable travelling partner, with a handy gift for making the locals laugh, and he doesn't skip the awkward stuff”
Sunday Express: “heartbreaking natural beauty”
Scotland on Sunday: “Armchair travel is seldom so enthralling”
Mail on Sunday: “Must-see TV…Five stars…an engrossing trip”
Daily Express: “It’s not normally a compliment to say you don’t notice someone, but it’s Simon Reeve’s modesty that makes us focus so much on the journey, with all its highs and lows. He seems genuinely more interested in what he’s seeing, than being seen on the TV, and that seems to make us watch in a more receptive way.”
Metro: “A man with the happy knack of establishing a laid-back rapport with whoever he encountered on the road, Reeve made the ideal travelling companion, a rare example of a TV presenter who doesn’t constantly crave to be the centre of attention.”
Financial Times: “Reeve's amiable screen presence somehow makes it all work and suggests that he is indeed Michael Palin's heir apparent.”
Wanderlust travel magazine: “a romping good travelogue”
The Scotsman: “Tropic Of Capricorn isn't as tepid as most other programmes in the Sunday night travelogue vein, principally because Reeve actually engages with people and issues rather than just pointing at things and gasping. Tropic Of Cancer next then, Simon?”
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CAPRICORN FACTS:
• Capricorn marks the southern border of the Tropics region of the planet, because it is the most southerly point at which the sun can appear to be overhead (during the winter & summer solstice).
• The tropical conditions of the tropics have expanded towards the poles by more than 170 miles over the past 25 years. Scientists expected this, but only under an “extreme” climate change scenario, and only by 2100.
• The tropics are mercilessly exposed to the furnace at the heart of our solar system, the region receives a higher dose of the Sun’s energy than the rest of the planet. It is simultaneously the attraction of the tropics to outsiders, and the cause of much of the human suffering in the region.
• 75.67% of the Tropic Capricorn passes over sea – mostly the Pacific Ocean. Of the 24.33% that covers land, the country with by far the biggest section is Australia at 2,350 miles.
• Over a 41,000 year period Capricorn crawls around in a band between roughly 22.5 and 24.5 degrees. In the year 2000 the line was at 23� 26’ 21.448’’. By 19/11/07 it had moved to 23� 26’ 17.76’’ (information courtesy of the team at The Times Comprehensive Atlas of the World).
• Because Capricorn moves by tiny amounts the length of the line also varies. But on 19/11/07 Capricorn was 36,748,889.697 metres long, or 36,749 km (22,835 miles).
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| i don't know |
In which country would you find the original Legoland? | Legolund in Billund, Denmark - The Original Legoland
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By Terri Mapes
The original Legoland (which opened in 1968) is located on the western half of Denmark , called Jutland . Legoland Denmark is centrally located if you're driving. It's 150 miles west of Copenhagen . If you want to fly in, the airport of Billund is literally next door to the park. Legoland's opening times become longer as it gets warmer; the park itself is open from late March through early October.
Attention to Detail:
Everything - and I mean EVERYTHING - in Legoland consists of countless Lego blocks built with creativity and craftsmanship alike. You'll walk past entire countries built in small scale, entirely out of lego pieces! You're allowed to bring your own food into the park but there are countless (slightly pricy) food stands and cafes.
Exciting Rides:
In the past few years, Legoland has been adding family rides as well as more thrill rides for the adventurous. There are pirate-themed boat rides, a gentle mining-themed rollercoaster, flying carpet rides, and lots more fitting for all ages from toddler to seniors.
continue reading below our video
Tips for Taking Better Travel Photos
And while you're there, have your kids get a "real" Legoland driver’s licence at the Lego driving school!
During Bad Weather:
Considering Denmark 's unpredictable weather (see Weather in Denmark , there are a number of indoor activities, like the adorable-but-authentic toy museum with interactive mechanical toys. Or, head to the Lego playroom and build your own ideas in Lego pieces to win daily prizes.
No Stress:
Parents are often stressed looking after their children at theme parks. Not here. Simply rent a "KidSpotter"! A new Wi-Fi tracking network and instant messaging ensures you won't lose your kids. If they're out of sight, just send them an SMS message and their location will be displayed on the parental unit. What an idea!
Special Services:
Legoland offers special services such as a Babycare Center, a bank with ATMs, and Drying Machines for wet clothing. Dogs are allowed on leashes. They also have a First Aid station, handicap facilities, an Information Center, luggage lockers, and wheelchairs.
| Denmark |
What is the only American state which starts with the letter A but doesn't end with the letter A? | Legoland Denmark: Complete Attractions & Rides 2016 - YouTube
Legoland Denmark: Complete Attractions & Rides 2016
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Published on Apr 23, 2016
The complete attractions and rides video of Legoland Billund Denmark in 2016 including the new NinjaGo World The ride.
Legoland Billund is the original Legoland park opened on June 7, 1968 in Billund, Denmark. The park is located next to the original Lego factory and Denmark's second busiest airport Billund Airport. This makes Legoland the largest tourist attraction in Denmark outside of Copenhagen.
Legoland Billund Resort is Denmark’s most famous and popular amusement park for families and children of all ages.
Top rides and attractions include:
Polar X-plorer: With a top speed of 65 kph, Polar X-plorer delivers lots of shivers! Polar X-plorer is full of surprises and an amazing polar atmosphere just waiting to be experienced – a ride that promises butterflies in your stomach and a five-metre sheer drop.
X-treme Racers: At 60 kph and 16 metres above LEGOLAND, X-treme Racers is sure to give you a rush of excitement and plenty of laughs.
LEGO Canoe: Go on an unforgettable canoe ride through the roaring whitewater rapids of the wilderness.
The Dragon: Climb aboard the medieval Dragon roller-coaster attraction and look forward to an amazing journey through the enchanted Royal Castle – ending in a terrific roller-coaster ride!
Ninjago The Ride: In NINJAGO® The Ride, guests meet the famous heroes of the NINJAGO universe, and together they must learn to master the four elements of fire, earth, lightning and ice in order to defeat The Great Devourer.
LEGOLAND Billund Denmark
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| i don't know |
As at the start of the 2003/04 season, how many winners of the English Premiership have there been? | History of the English Premier League - SuperSport - Football
History of the English Premier League
William McGregor statue © Action Images
What is now known as the English Premier League has its roots in an earlier league, called the Football League, which was originally founded in 1888.
The Football League, also known as the npower Football League for sponsorship reasons, is a league competition featuring professional association football clubs from England and Wales.
Founded in 1888, it is the oldest such competition in world football. It was the top level football league in England from its foundation until 1992.
Since 1995 it has had 72 clubs evenly divided into three divisions, which are currently known as The Championship, League One and League Two. Promotion and relegation between these divisions is a central feature of the League and is further extended to allow the top Championship clubs to exchange places with the lowest placed clubs in the Premier League.
A director of Aston Villa, William McGregor, was the first to set out to bring some order to a chaotic world where clubs arranged their own fixtures. On March 2, 1888, he wrote to the committee of his own club, Aston Villa, as well as to those of Blackburn Rovers, Bolton Wanderers, Preston North End and West Bromwich Albion, suggesting the creation of a league competition that would provide a number of guaranteed fixtures for its member clubs each season.
The first meeting was held at Anderson's Hotel in London on March 23, 1888, on the eve of the FA Cup Final. The Football League was formally created and named in Manchester at a further meeting on April 17 at the Royal Hotel.
In 1992, the First Division clubs resigned from the Football League to take advantage of a lucrative television rights deal and on May 27, 1992, the Premier League as we know it today was formed.
This meant a break-up of the 104-year-old Football League that had operated until then with four divisions; the Premier League would operate with a single division and the Football League with three.
There was no change in competition format; the same number of teams competed in the top flight, and promotion and relegation between the Premier League and the new First Division remained on the same terms as between the old First and Second Divisions.
The 22 inaugural members of the new Premier League were Arsenal, Aston Villa, Blackburn Rovers, Chelsea, Coventry City, Crystal Palace, Everton, Ipswich Town, Leeds United, Liverpool, Manchester City, Manchester United, Middlesbrough, Norwich City, Nottingham Forest, Oldham Athletic, Queens Park Rangers, Sheffield United, Sheffield Wednesday, Southampton, Tottenham Hotspur, and Wimbledon.
A total of 43 clubs have played in the Premier League from its inception in 1992 until the end of the 2009/10 season. Two other clubs (Luton Town and Notts County) were signatories to the original agreement that created the Premier League, but were relegated prior to the inaugural Premier League season and have not subsequently returned to the top flight.
Seven clubs have been members of the Premier League for every season since its inception. This group is composed of Arsenal, Aston Villa, Chelsea, Everton, Liverpool, Manchester United, and Tottenham Hotspur.
Due to insistence by Fifa that domestic leagues reduce the number of games clubs played, the number of clubs was reduced to 20 in 1995 when four teams were relegated from the league and only two teams promoted.
On June 8, 2006, Fifa requested that all major European leagues, including Italy's Serie A and Spain's La Liga be reduced to 18 teams by the start of the 2007/08 season. The Premier League responded by announcing their intention to resist such a reduction. Ultimately, the 2007/08 season kicked off again with 20 teams.
The league changed its name from the FA Premier League to simply the Premier League in 2007.
FOREIGN PLAYERS
At the inception of the Premier League in 1992/93, just 11 players named in the starting line-ups for the first round of matches were 'foreign' (players hailing from outside of the United Kingdom or Republic of Ireland).
By 2000/01, the number of foreign players participating in the Premier League was 36 per cent. In the 2004/05 season the figure had increased to 45 per cent. On December 26, 1999, Chelsea became the first Premier League side to field an entirely foreign starting line-up, and on February 14, 2005, Arsenal were the first to name a completely foreign 16-man squad for a match.
No English manager has won the Premier League; the five managers to have won the title comprise two Scots (Alex Ferguson (Manchester United, 11 wins) and Kenny Dalglish (Blackburn Rovers, one win), a Frenchman (Arsène Wenger, Arsenal, three wins), an Italian (Carlo Ancelotti, Chelsea, one win), and a Portuguese (José Mourinho, Chelsea, two wins).
TRANSFER FEES
The record transfer fee for a Premier League has been broken several times over the lifetime of the competition.
Prior to the start of the first Premier League season, Alan Shearer became the first British player to command a transfer fee of more than £3 million. The record rose steadily in the Premier League's first few seasons, until Alan Shearer made a world record breaking £15 million move to Newcastle United in 1996.
This stood as a British record for four years until it was eclipsed by the £18 million Leeds paid West Ham for Rio Ferdinand. Manchester United subsequently broke the record three times by signing Ruud van Nistelrooy, Juan Sebastián Verón and Rio Ferdinand.
Chelsea broke the record in May 2006, when they signed Andriy Shevchenko, from AC Milan. The exact figure of the transfer fee was not disclosed, but was reported as being around £30 million. This was eclipsed by Manchester City's transfer of Robinho from Real Madrid on September 1, 2008 for £32.5 million. The Robinho transfer remains the largest ever paid by a Premier League club.
The record transfer in the sport's history had a Premier League club on the selling end, with Manchester United accepting an £80 million bid from Real Madrid for Cristiano Ronaldo in 2009.
RECORDS
David James holds the record for the most Premier League appearances, overtaking the previous record held by Gary Speed of 535 appearances in February 2009.
The first ever Premier League goal was scored by Brian Deane of Sheffield United in a 2–1 win against Manchester United.
SPONSORS
The Premier League has been sponsored since 1993. The sponsor has been able to determine the league's sponsorship name. The table below details who the sponsors have been and what they called the competition:
YEARS
Barclays Premier League
TELEVISION
Television has played a major role in the history of the Premier League. The money from television rights has been vital in helping to create excellence both on and off the field. The League's decision to assign broadcasting rights to BSkyB in 1992 was at the time a radical decision, but one that has paid off.
At the time pay television was an almost untested proposition in the UK market, as was charging fans to watch live televised football. However, a combination of Sky's strategy, the quality of Premier League football and the public's appetite for the game has seen the value of the Premier League's TV rights soar.
The Premier League sells its television rights on a collective basis. This is in contrast to some European Leagues, including Serie A and La Liga, in which each club sells its rights individually, leading to a much higher share of the total income going to the top few clubs.
The money is divided into three parts: half is divided equally between the clubs; one quarter is awarded on a merit basis based on final league position, the top club getting twenty times as much as the bottom club, and equal steps all the way down the table; the final quarter is paid out as facilities fees for games that are shown on television, with the top clubs generally receiving the largest shares of this. The income from overseas rights is divided equally between the twenty clubs.
Sky's monopoly was broken from August 2006 when Setanta Sports was awarded rights to show two out of the six packages of matches available. This occurred following an insistence by the European Commission that exclusive rights should not be sold to one television company.
Sky and Setanta paid a total of £1.7 billion, a two-thirds increase which took many commentators by surprise as it had been widely assumed that the value of the rights had levelled off following many years of rapid growth.
On 22 June 2009, due to the troubles encountered by Setanta Sports after it failed to meet a final deadline over a £30 million payment to the Premier League, ESPN was awarded the two packages of UK rights containing a total of 46 matches that were available for the 2009/10 season as well as a package of 23 matches per season from 2010/11 to 2012/13.
MATCH BALLS
For the inaugural season of the Premier League, clubs were obliged to supply their own match balls, which were usually provided by the clubs' kit manufacturers. In 1993, the Premier League came to an agreement with Mitre for them to supply the league's teams with their match balls. Mitre supplied balls to the Premier League for seven years, starting with the Mitre Pro Max (1993–1995) and then the Mitre Ultimax (1995–2000).
The 2000/01 season saw Nike take over as match ball supplier, introducing the Nike Geo Merlin ball, which had been used in the UEFA Champions League. The Geo Merlin was used for four seasons before being replaced by the Nike Total 90 Aerow, which ran for another two seasons.
The 2004/05 season also saw the introduction of a yellow "Hi-Vis" ball for use in the winter months. Next came the Nike Total 90 Aerow II, which featured an asymmetrical design to help players judge the flight and spin of the ball.
For the 2008/09 season, the official ball of the Premier League was the Nike Total 90 Omni, which featured yet another pattern in dark red and yellow and a modified panel design, and was replaced by the Nike T90 Ascente for the 2009/10 season, with blue, yellow and orange trim, and for 2010/11 by the T90 TRACER, and will be electric blue, black and white trim.
TOP SCORERS IN THE PREMIER LEAGUE (PREMIER LEAGUE ONLY)
PLAYER
MORE GOALS
Manchester United became the first team to have scored 1 000 goals in the league after Cristiano Ronaldo scored in a 4–1 defeat of Middlesbrough in the 2005/06 season. Arsenal, Chelsea and Liverpool are the only other teams to have reached the 1 000-goal mark.
The highest-scoring match to date in the Premier League occurred on September 29, 2007, when Portsmouth beat Reading 7–4. Five goals is the record individual scoring total for a player in a single Premier League game, and as of November 2009, only three players had achieved this feat, Andy Cole first, followed by Alan Shearer and then Jermain Defoe. Only Ryan Giggs of Manchester United has scored in all 18 Premier League seasons.
Event Streaming
| three |
In which county is Lord's cricket ground? | UEFA confirm FIVE English clubs could qualify for next season's Champions League | Daily Mail Online
UEFA confirm FIVE English clubs could qualify for next season's Champions League if Tottenham or Everton win Europa League
Europa League winners will gain entry to Champions League
If Tottenham or Everton win the Europa League, the Premier League will have five representatives in Europe's elite competition
It was suggested that the top three and Europa League winner would qualify - making four - but UEFA have confirmed this will not be the case
Tottenham have missed out when finishing in top four as Chelsea won the European Cup
Europa League final is in Warsaw
| i don't know |
In the English and Scottish football leagues, which team has the longest name? | What is the longest football team name in the world? | Notes and Queries | guardian.co.uk
What is the longest football team name in the world?
Brad Powell, Liskeard England
The longest name in the English league is my team Brighton and Hove albion with 21 letters. However Borussia Monchengladbach, of the Bundesleage is 23 letters. I'm sure there are longer names in germany though.
Tony Greenfield, Brighton East Sussex
I don't know but LLANFAIRPWLLGWYNGYLLGOGERYCHWYRNDROBWLLLLANTYSILIOGOGOGOCH football club must be a contender.
Steffan John, Cardiff Wales
US Major League Soccer(!) side New York/New Jersey Metro All-Stars have got to be in with a shout. Yanks! What's wrong with 'Rovers'?!!
JJ, Newcastle UK
Ballvereinborussiadortmundneunzehnhundertundneun (BVB09 Dortmund Germany) or Borussia Munchengladbach and probably another dozen German teams.
Kevin Elliott, Berlin Germany
Total Network Solutions Llansantffraid (league of Wales) maybe?
Aled, Aberystwyth Wales
The former side Horwich Railway Mechanics Institute Football Club would have been a contender. However, with a move to a neigbouring town, it has been shortened to Leigh Railway Mechanics Institute Football Club
Aidan Corcoran, Bolton UK
Interesting question - some of the initials prefacing town names of French clubs might spell out into longer names than the British names I can think of (for example OGC Nice) - the longest British would presumably be Brighton and Hove Albion, Inverness Clachnacuddin, Kirkintilloch Rob Roy and Norton and Stockton Ancients.
Jim Kidd, Musselburgh, Scotland
In response to the seagulls fan, 'Wolverhampton Wanderers' has 22 !
pd, Chesterfield uk
some contenders would be Amsterdamche Football Club Ajax (Holland, 28) Real Sociedad de San Sebastian (SPAIN, 26) Zalaegerszegi Torna Egylet (Hungary, 24) Football Club Rotor Volgograd (russia, 26) Internazionale de Milano (Italy, 21) and Genclerbiligi Ankara spor Kulubu (Turkey, 30)
IAN OGIER, Guernsey, C.I England
That would be New York/New Jersey Metrostars - not Metro Allstars.
GW, Durham UK
'glasgow celtic football and athletic club' has 36.
richard hunter, ancrum scotland
We think that: Genclerbiligi Ankara spor Kulubu (30) Brighton and Hove Albion (21) Daggenham and Redbridge(21) Could be contenders?
Neale and Ben, Darwen England
Total Network Solutions LLantsantffraid. That's 36. I don't know if they have an additional FC (12)
phil, cardiff
IIIINNNGGG-UUUUURRRR-LAAAAAAANNNDDDDD has 35 ... and 38 in some versions of the chant
Dominic Rice, Brussels Belgium
There are probably longer ones in Aussie Rules but a close one here is Mangoplah-Cookardinia United (24).
Mick webster, Beechworth Australia
Bournemouth and Boscombe Athletic has 31.
Mark Power, Dublin
Tetaumatawhakatangihangakoauaotamateaurehaeaturipukapihimaungahoronukupokaiwhenuaakitanarahu is a place in New Zealand Wonder if they have a football team Tetaumatawhakatangihangakoauaotamateaurehaeaturipukapihimaungahoronukupokaiwhenuaakitanarahu City
Tom, Horsham, England
Garbarnia Szczakowianka Jaworzno. It's 30 letters long, not bad.
QBA, Szczecin, Poland
Well actually I used to play for Mangoplah, which has been a previous answer. However the full name of the club now stands at MCU-E, which in full is Mangoplah Cookardinia United Eastlakes Goannas.
Perhaps another football club we use to play against is a contender - Ganmain Grong Grong Matong Lions.
But MCU-E take the cake!
Courtney Bourne, Wagga Wagga, Australia
Sunderland Association Football Club has 33 letters which is quite good.
Ryan , Newton Aycliffe, UK
I think adding Football Club on to the name is cheating. Inverness Caledonian Thistle with 26 letters is longest in Scotland, possibly UK. Did Bournemouth & Boscombe Athletic not change their name to AFC Bournemouth?
Alex Bomphray, Edinburgh, Scotland
PSV is a long one: Philips Sport Vereniging Eindhoven with 31 letters. Also NEC has a big name too: Nijmegen Eendracht Combinatie with 27.
Stephen, England
You need to have a browser that supports greek encoding, but I can think of some greek teams with long names. For instance:Αθλητική Ένωση Κωνσταντινουπόλεως (31) (in English known as AEC FC) or Ολυμπιακός Σύλλογος Φιλάθλων Πειραιώς (34) (in English known as Olympiakos FC)
Elena, Piraeus Greece
The longest league team name in the UK is Inverness Caledonian Thistle. The second longest is Wolverhampton Wanderers.
Ryan, Southampton England
The full name of NAC Breda of Holland is "Nooit Opgeven Altijd Doorgaan Aangenaam Door Vermaak En Nutting Door Ontspanning Combinatie Breda". That has to be the winner.
Kieran, Bishop's Stortford Hertfordshire
Jarrow Roofing Boldon Community Association who play in the Northern League (England). 39 letters!
Paul Sigsworth, Billingham, ENGLAND
it think that we must find the longest club name without counting FC, AC, CF, SAD or any other capital letters which is common to about 90% or more of the football clubs and associations in the world.
Dr@Gosh, Craiova Romania
In russia there is a place called Petropavlovsk-kamchatskiy if they have a football team that is a contender.
Conor, Inverness Scotland
Inverness caledonian thistle with 26 must be the longest in britain
Harry Cooke, Derby England
Hampton and Richmond borough football club 37 letters
muckyknees, surbiton surrey
Swedesboro-Woolwich Township Lady Jedi Knights (41 Letters)
Roy, USA
NAC Breda - Nooit Opgeven Altijd Doorzetten Aangenaam Door Vermaak En Nuttig Door Ontspanning Combinatie Breda
Monk, Leeds
Istanbul Buyuksehir Belidiyespor Kulubu (36 letters)
RVDV, Lawrenceville USA
Nooit Opgeven Altijd Doorzetten Aangenaam Door Vermaak En Nuttig Door Ontspanning Combinatie Breda, short for NAC breda
Tom Mac, Nuneaton, England
Association Sportive des Employés et Commerçants de Koudougou must be a contender. They play in Burkina Faso.
Rob White, Birmingham, UK
Cork City Friends Of The Rebel Army Society Co-operative
Dan Hogan, Limerick
I think the Dutch club Nac-Breda might be it. It means Noad Advendo Combinatie - Breda, which means "Nooit opgeven altijd doorgaan Aangenaam Door Vermaak En Nuttig Door Ontspanning Combinatie - Breda". So that would be around 85 letters...
Jordi Hintzen, Echt, The Netherlands
Inverness Caledonian Thisthle
'Inverness Caledonian Thistle Football Club' has the longest name
Harry McColl, Dunblane, Scotland
Due to the union of two teams their full name is Inverness Caledonian and Inverness Thistle Football Club.
Alan Bugler, Inverness, Scotland, UK
Krung Thep Mahanakhon Amon Rattanakosin Mahinthara Ayuthaya Mahadilok Phop Noppharat Ratchathani Burirom Udomratchaniwet Mahasathan Amon Piman Awatan Sathit Sakkathattiya Witsanukam Prasit Bravo Association Football Club.......... Also known as Bangkok Bravo FC
Tom , London, UK
the longest team in football is inverrness calidonian thisle
teddy, london england
im sure that this is the winner The New Saints of Oswestry Town & Llansantffraid Football Club
Daniel Berry, Haverfordwest Wales
ASSOCIATION FOOTBALL CLUB BOURNEMOUTH AND BOSCOMBE ATHLETIC
T.FORRESTER, TODMOREDEN ENGLAND
East Stirlingshire Football Club from SFL3 is definatley a forgotten one!
Andy, Glasgow Scotland
Persatuan Sepak Bola Indonesia Jayapura, shortened to Persipura Jayapura, and there are more of them in Indonesia: Persatuan Sepakbola Medan dan Sekitarnya (The Football Association of Medan and Surroundings(PSMS Medan)) and Persidafon Dafonsoro/Persidafon Jayapura...
Hoenese, Malaysia
man united
Jack, Chesham UK
Amon Rattanakosin Krung Thep Mahanakhon Mahinthara Mahadilok Phop Noppharat Ratchathani Ayuthaya Burirom Udomratchaniwet Mahasathan Amon Piman Awatan Sathit Sakkathattiya Witsanukam Prasit Bravo Association Football Club
John C, Paisley, Scotland
Nooit opgeven altijd doorgaan, Aangenaam door vermaak en nuttig door ontspanning, Combinatie Breda (N.A.C. Breda for short)
Lee Stewart, Peterlee, England
Lothian Thistle Hutchison Vale Football Club of the East of Scotland League
Ian, Gretna Scotland
| Inverness Caledonian Thistle F.C. |
What was the first Australian city to host the Olympic games? | What is the longest football team name in the world? | Notes and Queries | guardian.co.uk
What is the longest football team name in the world?
Brad Powell, Liskeard England
The longest name in the English league is my team Brighton and Hove albion with 21 letters. However Borussia Monchengladbach, of the Bundesleage is 23 letters. I'm sure there are longer names in germany though.
Tony Greenfield, Brighton East Sussex
I don't know but LLANFAIRPWLLGWYNGYLLGOGERYCHWYRNDROBWLLLLANTYSILIOGOGOGOCH football club must be a contender.
Steffan John, Cardiff Wales
US Major League Soccer(!) side New York/New Jersey Metro All-Stars have got to be in with a shout. Yanks! What's wrong with 'Rovers'?!!
JJ, Newcastle UK
Ballvereinborussiadortmundneunzehnhundertundneun (BVB09 Dortmund Germany) or Borussia Munchengladbach and probably another dozen German teams.
Kevin Elliott, Berlin Germany
Total Network Solutions Llansantffraid (league of Wales) maybe?
Aled, Aberystwyth Wales
The former side Horwich Railway Mechanics Institute Football Club would have been a contender. However, with a move to a neigbouring town, it has been shortened to Leigh Railway Mechanics Institute Football Club
Aidan Corcoran, Bolton UK
Interesting question - some of the initials prefacing town names of French clubs might spell out into longer names than the British names I can think of (for example OGC Nice) - the longest British would presumably be Brighton and Hove Albion, Inverness Clachnacuddin, Kirkintilloch Rob Roy and Norton and Stockton Ancients.
Jim Kidd, Musselburgh, Scotland
In response to the seagulls fan, 'Wolverhampton Wanderers' has 22 !
pd, Chesterfield uk
some contenders would be Amsterdamche Football Club Ajax (Holland, 28) Real Sociedad de San Sebastian (SPAIN, 26) Zalaegerszegi Torna Egylet (Hungary, 24) Football Club Rotor Volgograd (russia, 26) Internazionale de Milano (Italy, 21) and Genclerbiligi Ankara spor Kulubu (Turkey, 30)
IAN OGIER, Guernsey, C.I England
That would be New York/New Jersey Metrostars - not Metro Allstars.
GW, Durham UK
'glasgow celtic football and athletic club' has 36.
richard hunter, ancrum scotland
We think that: Genclerbiligi Ankara spor Kulubu (30) Brighton and Hove Albion (21) Daggenham and Redbridge(21) Could be contenders?
Neale and Ben, Darwen England
Total Network Solutions LLantsantffraid. That's 36. I don't know if they have an additional FC (12)
phil, cardiff
IIIINNNGGG-UUUUURRRR-LAAAAAAANNNDDDDD has 35 ... and 38 in some versions of the chant
Dominic Rice, Brussels Belgium
There are probably longer ones in Aussie Rules but a close one here is Mangoplah-Cookardinia United (24).
Mick webster, Beechworth Australia
Bournemouth and Boscombe Athletic has 31.
Mark Power, Dublin
Tetaumatawhakatangihangakoauaotamateaurehaeaturipukapihimaungahoronukupokaiwhenuaakitanarahu is a place in New Zealand Wonder if they have a football team Tetaumatawhakatangihangakoauaotamateaurehaeaturipukapihimaungahoronukupokaiwhenuaakitanarahu City
Tom, Horsham, England
Garbarnia Szczakowianka Jaworzno. It's 30 letters long, not bad.
QBA, Szczecin, Poland
Well actually I used to play for Mangoplah, which has been a previous answer. However the full name of the club now stands at MCU-E, which in full is Mangoplah Cookardinia United Eastlakes Goannas.
Perhaps another football club we use to play against is a contender - Ganmain Grong Grong Matong Lions.
But MCU-E take the cake!
Courtney Bourne, Wagga Wagga, Australia
Sunderland Association Football Club has 33 letters which is quite good.
Ryan , Newton Aycliffe, UK
I think adding Football Club on to the name is cheating. Inverness Caledonian Thistle with 26 letters is longest in Scotland, possibly UK. Did Bournemouth & Boscombe Athletic not change their name to AFC Bournemouth?
Alex Bomphray, Edinburgh, Scotland
PSV is a long one: Philips Sport Vereniging Eindhoven with 31 letters. Also NEC has a big name too: Nijmegen Eendracht Combinatie with 27.
Stephen, England
You need to have a browser that supports greek encoding, but I can think of some greek teams with long names. For instance:Αθλητική Ένωση Κωνσταντινουπόλεως (31) (in English known as AEC FC) or Ολυμπιακός Σύλλογος Φιλάθλων Πειραιώς (34) (in English known as Olympiakos FC)
Elena, Piraeus Greece
The longest league team name in the UK is Inverness Caledonian Thistle. The second longest is Wolverhampton Wanderers.
Ryan, Southampton England
The full name of NAC Breda of Holland is "Nooit Opgeven Altijd Doorgaan Aangenaam Door Vermaak En Nutting Door Ontspanning Combinatie Breda". That has to be the winner.
Kieran, Bishop's Stortford Hertfordshire
Jarrow Roofing Boldon Community Association who play in the Northern League (England). 39 letters!
Paul Sigsworth, Billingham, ENGLAND
it think that we must find the longest club name without counting FC, AC, CF, SAD or any other capital letters which is common to about 90% or more of the football clubs and associations in the world.
Dr@Gosh, Craiova Romania
In russia there is a place called Petropavlovsk-kamchatskiy if they have a football team that is a contender.
Conor, Inverness Scotland
Inverness caledonian thistle with 26 must be the longest in britain
Harry Cooke, Derby England
Hampton and Richmond borough football club 37 letters
muckyknees, surbiton surrey
Swedesboro-Woolwich Township Lady Jedi Knights (41 Letters)
Roy, USA
NAC Breda - Nooit Opgeven Altijd Doorzetten Aangenaam Door Vermaak En Nuttig Door Ontspanning Combinatie Breda
Monk, Leeds
Istanbul Buyuksehir Belidiyespor Kulubu (36 letters)
RVDV, Lawrenceville USA
Nooit Opgeven Altijd Doorzetten Aangenaam Door Vermaak En Nuttig Door Ontspanning Combinatie Breda, short for NAC breda
Tom Mac, Nuneaton, England
Association Sportive des Employés et Commerçants de Koudougou must be a contender. They play in Burkina Faso.
Rob White, Birmingham, UK
Cork City Friends Of The Rebel Army Society Co-operative
Dan Hogan, Limerick
I think the Dutch club Nac-Breda might be it. It means Noad Advendo Combinatie - Breda, which means "Nooit opgeven altijd doorgaan Aangenaam Door Vermaak En Nuttig Door Ontspanning Combinatie - Breda". So that would be around 85 letters...
Jordi Hintzen, Echt, The Netherlands
Inverness Caledonian Thisthle
'Inverness Caledonian Thistle Football Club' has the longest name
Harry McColl, Dunblane, Scotland
Due to the union of two teams their full name is Inverness Caledonian and Inverness Thistle Football Club.
Alan Bugler, Inverness, Scotland, UK
Krung Thep Mahanakhon Amon Rattanakosin Mahinthara Ayuthaya Mahadilok Phop Noppharat Ratchathani Burirom Udomratchaniwet Mahasathan Amon Piman Awatan Sathit Sakkathattiya Witsanukam Prasit Bravo Association Football Club.......... Also known as Bangkok Bravo FC
Tom , London, UK
the longest team in football is inverrness calidonian thisle
teddy, london england
im sure that this is the winner The New Saints of Oswestry Town & Llansantffraid Football Club
Daniel Berry, Haverfordwest Wales
ASSOCIATION FOOTBALL CLUB BOURNEMOUTH AND BOSCOMBE ATHLETIC
T.FORRESTER, TODMOREDEN ENGLAND
East Stirlingshire Football Club from SFL3 is definatley a forgotten one!
Andy, Glasgow Scotland
Persatuan Sepak Bola Indonesia Jayapura, shortened to Persipura Jayapura, and there are more of them in Indonesia: Persatuan Sepakbola Medan dan Sekitarnya (The Football Association of Medan and Surroundings(PSMS Medan)) and Persidafon Dafonsoro/Persidafon Jayapura...
Hoenese, Malaysia
man united
Jack, Chesham UK
Amon Rattanakosin Krung Thep Mahanakhon Mahinthara Mahadilok Phop Noppharat Ratchathani Ayuthaya Burirom Udomratchaniwet Mahasathan Amon Piman Awatan Sathit Sakkathattiya Witsanukam Prasit Bravo Association Football Club
John C, Paisley, Scotland
Nooit opgeven altijd doorgaan, Aangenaam door vermaak en nuttig door ontspanning, Combinatie Breda (N.A.C. Breda for short)
Lee Stewart, Peterlee, England
Lothian Thistle Hutchison Vale Football Club of the East of Scotland League
Ian, Gretna Scotland
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On a darts board, which number is directly opposite 1? | What is opposite 16 on a dartbord? - Find Answers Here!
What is opposite 16 on a dartbord?
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How many scoring zones are there on a dartboard? ... 16. 16. Which wood are ... On a darts board which number is directly opposite 1? Auf einer Dartscheibe, ... - Read more
How it is possible that two player using different numbers and opposite sides of the ... 19+17+15=51 ---- 19+16 ... The numbering system of modern day dartboards, ... - Read more
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In cricket, how many runs is a double nelson? | Dart Game | Dart Games | Darts Rules | Rules For Darts | How To Play Darts
Below are the rules to some of the more popular dart games.
The equipment needed to play darts is as follows:
A set of three darts , either soft-tipped or steel-tipped.
A safe, well lit place to play.
Dartboards
The standard international dartboard is known as the "clock" board. It is 18 inches in diameter and has 20 numbered, pie-shaped segments of equal size, plus the bull's-eye.
Number of Players: Two individual players or two teams.
Numbers in Play: 20,19,18,17,16,15, and bull's-eye.
The objective shall be to 'own'/'close' certain numbers on the board, and to achieve the highest point score. The player/team to do so first, shall be the winner.
Each player/team shall take turns throwing. (Three darts in succession shall constitute a 'turn'/'Inning'.)
To close an inning, the player/team must score three of a number. This can be accomplished with three singles, a single and a double, or a triple.
Number of Players: Any number of players may play, but normally two individuals or two teams play.
Numbers in Play: All the numbers are in play, but some receive greater use than others. The 19 and 20, for instance are used extensively for scoring points since they are the highest numbers on the board. All the numbers may be used to throw the necessary doubles in the game.
This game is generally played by two people but can be played by teams. Each player starts with 301 points. The goal for each player is to reach zero, excatly, by subtracting the amount they score in a turn from the amount they had left from the previous turn.
Number of Players: Any number can play, but it is unusual to have only two players or two teams (like the game of baseball itself)
Numbers in Play: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 , 7, 8, 9
Rules of Play: This game is similar to the actual game of baseball. Players try to score as many points as possible per inning in order to win.
>>> More About Baseball
Number of Players: Any number can play, but Killer is most fun with three or more players.
Numbers in Play: The numbers used are determined by the players. Each player throws one dart with the "opposite" hand. (e.g., right-handers throw left-handed) to determine randomly his or her own number. If a player misses the board or hits a number already taken, he or she throws again.
Rules of the Game: Each player first tries to hit the double of his or her own number. When this is acheived, the player is known as a "killer" and a K is placed after his name on the scoreboard.
Number of Players: Any number can play, it is sometimes played with a dozen or more players.
Numbers in Play: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7
Rules of Play: Players take turns throwing at the numbers 1, 2, and so on, in sequence, until 7. They try to score as many points as possible per turn (using all three darts).
>>> More About Shanghai
Number of Players: Any number can play
Numbers in Play: All the numbers on the board are used, but players generally concentrate on the 19 or 20.
Rules of Play: After determining the order of the play, the first player attempts to get the highest score possible and notes it on the scoreboard.
>>> More About Legs
Number of Players: Any number can play
Numbers in Play: All the numbers on the board are used, but the score of every three- dart turn must be divisible by 5, so the commonly aimed-for numbers are those divisible by five: 20, 15, 10, 5.
(Also called "Round the Board" or "Once Round the Island.")
Number of Players: Two players
Darts: Three each
Rules of Play: The object of this popular game is to be the first player to hit every number on the board from 1-20. Any part of the number - single, double or triple - counts.
>>> More About Round the World
Number of Players: Two players or two teams
Numbers in Play: All numbers are used but since each score must exceed 40 the higher numbers especially 20 are the favorites.
Rules of Play: One player becomes the batter, and the other is the bowler; the batter goes first. Ten stripes are entered on the board as wickets.
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By what name was scultpor and painter Domenikos Theotocopoulos better known? | El Greco (also known as Domenikos Theotokopoulos), Art History & Styles of Art - Art.com Wiki
6 Some Examples of “El Greco’s” Artwork
Personal life
El Greco was born in 1641 on the island of Crete. After beginning his artistic training in Crete, he moved on to Venice and Rome before settling in the Spanish city of Toledo. In Rome, the painter espoused unpopular views on the artistic abilities of some of the most famous Renaissance painters. The artist had a single son, Jorge Manuel, in 1578. Jorge’s mother has been named as Jeronima de las Cuevas. The couple are not thought to have married, although she was named in his short will. He died in Toledo in 1614, leaving his possessions to his son and Jeronima.
Career
He began his career as a Byzantine icon painter on the Venice-controlled island of Crete. He would later reject his early realism as his artistic expression entered imaginative periods. Few of his works prior to his move to Venice have survived. During his three-year stay in Venice, the artist completed a number of important works in the Renaissance style, including The Miracle of Christ Healing the Blind. Still searching for realism in his work, he began to use perspective in his large paintings of Biblical scenes. Once he moved to Rome, he received no large-scale commissions, but he did earn a reputation as one of the best portrait and small-scale painters of the Renaissance period. He painted several celebrated portraits between 1590 and 1600, including Saint Jerome as Cardinal. In 1576, the artist settled in Toledo, where he found a group of intellectuals willing to commission religious altarpieces and large landscapes . He painted The View of Toledo, one of the best-known landscapes in sixteenth-century European art, soon after his arrival. His large altarpieces included Christ Driving the Traders from the Temple and The Burial of Count Orgaz, arguably his most famous work. Outside the influences of his Renaissance peers, he began to reject realism in earnest. By the start of the seventeenth century, his style turned to the mannerism for which he is best remembered.
Fun Facts
El Greco translates into English as “The Greek” and reflects his birthplace on the island of Crete.
During his time in Rome, he publicly questioned the artistic ability of Michelangelo . The resulting backlash hastened his move from Rome to Toledo.
His son Jorge Manuel appears in the famous paintingThe Burial of Count Orgaz.
Related Artists
| El Greco |
The book The Satanic Verses by Salman Rushdie caused controversy after it was claimed it was blasphemous against which religion? | Not available
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Cretan-born painter Domenikos Theotokopoulos, better known by his Spanish nickname, El Greco (c.1541-1614), studied under Titian in Venice before settling down in Toledo. Commissioned by the church and local nobility, El Greco produced dramatic paintings marked by distorted figures and vibrant color contrasted with subtle grays. Though his work was appreciated by his contemporaries, especially intellectuals, it wasn’t until the 20th century that it was widely embraced and admired, influencing in particular the Expressionist and Cubist movements.
About the series
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