garcianacho/Scripts · Datasets at Hugging Face

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We miss our family.
We think you should give up the magazine. Sell it. Let someone else run it. Whatever it takes.
We want you to go to college, find a career you love, marry a nice girl from a nice family, and live happily ever after.
Wouldn't it be awesome if we were about to say the exact same thing?
From your lips, to God's ears.
You go first.
Ladies first. I insist.
Well. The prom's coming up.
Yeah?
And I was wondering.
Yeah?
If you don't have...I mean...
Teddy? Would you please please please take me to the prom?
SHUT UP! Are you serious? Of course I will...of course.
Ted, have you lost your mind?
You like me. I like you. I guess it's pretty obvious to everyone.
I don't LIKE you. We're JUST FRIENDS.
But that smile.
Oh, Ted, DUH. I smile at everyone since I got my braces off.
So you'll think about it?
You really don't get it, do you? I am genetically programmed to desire a big, buff, manly man who can defend and provide for me and my yet to be conceived offspring! It's, like, a caveman thing!
So that's a maybe?
The answer is NEVER, Ted, NEVER. Except maybe in your dreams.
Great jacket, Teddy Bear.
Yeah? You like?
Makes your shoulders look so big and broad.
Hi, Teddy Bear.
Christy? You want to be in "Heaven?"
I turned eighteen over spring break. I'm eligible.
I thought I'd be nervous, but you sure know how to make a girl feel relaxed, Teddy Bear.
I do? I mean, yeah, I do.
I have to admit, I am so totally turned on. We should do it. Now.
Do it?
You know...take the pictures?
I remember the first time you walked into Mrs. Temple's class in 2nd grade. Blue gingham dress. Blond ponytail.
Which you pulled, hard!
That was code for "I like you."
Remember dress up day? You and Charlie lifting skirts during recess.
I miss those days, when schoolyard sexual harassment was without consequence.
Things change. Now I'm taking off my clothes...all by myself.
Well?
You have changed since second grade.
I mean, what do you think?
You expect me to think at a time like this? There isn't a drop of blood in my brain.
Oh, Teddy Bear, you're funny.
I was always too shy to admit how much I liked you.
Come on, I was hamburger. You were porterhouse.
Maybe on the outside. But inside, deep down, I've always been dripping with special sauces. Are you hungry?
God, you are so hot.
Then you better get in the water, before you get burned.
What gives, Don Corleone?
We reinvented ourselves.
New Hushpuppies don't make a new man.
You've obviously never had your dogs nestled in thousand dollar Italian loafers.
That explains the emptiness that haunts me.
Jealousy is so unattractive.
Not bad for a hack. He has a future in yellow journalism.
He kicked major ass and you know it.
Naked girls, wild sex, video games. No wonder it's called "Heaven."
This is a fun place...but we don't usually come here until after the orgies.
Never say never.
Oh, god. Look. Look.
Every one of these women thinks she should be the next Angel of the Month. It's your job, Ted, to decide which of them is right.
Let me get this straight...
If it isn't straight by now, son, you probably should see a doctor.
These are real, live women?
We don't generally feature blowup dolls in our magazine. But hey, if you think there's a market for it.
God, I love being dead.
Come on, bro. Spare yourself the humiliation, the degradation...
You and your pep talks.
Don't get me wrong. We can salivate over all the Christy Malones of our lives. Wishing we could devour them like meltinyourmouth filet mignon. But we're strictly hamburger guys. Ground chuck, sixty eight percent lean, is about the best we can hope for.
That's Charlie. My best friend. He's into beef analogies, partly because he's a butcher's son, and partly because, well, he's just into beef analogies. What can I say? He's also a photographer...
I genuinely think she wants me. I feel a vibe.
That vibe is from your wrist, pal. You've been overtenderizing your meat, again.
See? Did you see that?
She smiles at everyone, Ted. She's like a newborn with gas.
The only chick more untouchable than Christy Malone is Miss April. "Hi, my name's Ginger. I love tofu burgers, rainy nights, and riding bareback. My biggest turnoff is cell phones during sex." Here's a tip: set it on VIBRATE, honey, and don't be stingy with the lube. Don't knock it till you tried it.
Were you always this sick?
One thing for sure, Christy Malone ain't lookin THAT good naked.
Someday, I'll find out.
You have a better chance of being hit by a Mack truck with a refrigerated cargo bed full of sirloin tip.
I defy your hamburger theory of life, and all of the unfulfilled hopes and dreams it represents.
That's crazy talk.
I defy any and all limits.
Don't do it, Ted. Don't do it.
Any time, any day, a man can completely reinvent himself.
Think about it...Long tunnel, bright lights, it's full of vaginal symbolism.
Poor Freud, turning in his grave.
Seriously, it's like we're being reborn. We really could reinvent ourselves here, just like you said. Nobody knows about your massive humiliation.
Nobody knows about your mental retardation.
Nobody knows you barfed during junior high school graduation.
Nobody knows about your constant masturbation.
And nobody knows you're a virgin! Aw, who are we kidding...
What are the odds of there being ANOTHER Ted Nelson on our flight?
Astronomical.
Who the hell was your father?
Well, Dad said...
...A bouncer? Are you serious?
Maybe he got promoted.
This is the life, baby. We get ourselves some tail and we're talking SPRING BREAK!

We miss our family.

We think you should give up the magazine. Sell it. Let someone else run it. Whatever it takes.

We want you to go to college, find a career you love, marry a nice girl from a nice family, and live happily ever after.

Wouldn't it be awesome if we were about to say the exact same thing?

From your lips, to God's ears.

You go first.

Ladies first. I insist.

Well. The prom's coming up.

Yeah?

And I was wondering.

Yeah?

If you don't have...I mean...

Teddy? Would you please please please take me to the prom?

SHUT UP! Are you serious? Of course I will...of course.

Ted, have you lost your mind?

You like me. I like you. I guess it's pretty obvious to everyone.

I don't LIKE you. We're JUST FRIENDS.

But that smile.

Oh, Ted, DUH. I smile at everyone since I got my braces off.

So you'll think about it?

You really don't get it, do you? I am genetically programmed to desire a big, buff, manly man who can defend and provide for me and my yet to be conceived offspring! It's, like, a caveman thing!

So that's a maybe?

The answer is NEVER, Ted, NEVER. Except maybe in your dreams.

Great jacket, Teddy Bear.

Yeah? You like?

Makes your shoulders look so big and broad.

Hi, Teddy Bear.

Christy? You want to be in "Heaven?"

I turned eighteen over spring break. I'm eligible.

I thought I'd be nervous, but you sure know how to make a girl feel relaxed, Teddy Bear.

I do? I mean, yeah, I do.

I have to admit, I am so totally turned on. We should do it. Now.

Do it?

You know...take the pictures?

I remember the first time you walked into Mrs. Temple's class in 2nd grade. Blue gingham dress. Blond ponytail.

Which you pulled, hard!

That was code for "I like you."

Remember dress up day? You and Charlie lifting skirts during recess.

I miss those days, when schoolyard sexual harassment was without consequence.

Things change. Now I'm taking off my clothes...all by myself.

Well?

You have changed since second grade.

I mean, what do you think?

You expect me to think at a time like this? There isn't a drop of blood in my brain.

Oh, Teddy Bear, you're funny.

I was always too shy to admit how much I liked you.

Come on, I was hamburger. You were porterhouse.

Maybe on the outside. But inside, deep down, I've always been dripping with special sauces. Are you hungry?

God, you are so hot.

Then you better get in the water, before you get burned.

What gives, Don Corleone?

We reinvented ourselves.

New Hushpuppies don't make a new man.

You've obviously never had your dogs nestled in thousand dollar Italian loafers.

That explains the emptiness that haunts me.

Jealousy is so unattractive.

Not bad for a hack. He has a future in yellow journalism.

He kicked major ass and you know it.

Naked girls, wild sex, video games. No wonder it's called "Heaven."

This is a fun place...but we don't usually come here until after the orgies.

Never say never.

Oh, god. Look. Look.

Every one of these women thinks she should be the next Angel of the Month. It's your job, Ted, to decide which of them is right.

Let me get this straight...

If it isn't straight by now, son, you probably should see a doctor.

These are real, live women?

We don't generally feature blowup dolls in our magazine. But hey, if you think there's a market for it.

God, I love being dead.

Come on, bro. Spare yourself the humiliation, the degradation...

You and your pep talks.

Don't get me wrong. We can salivate over all the Christy Malones of our lives. Wishing we could devour them like meltinyourmouth filet mignon. But we're strictly hamburger guys. Ground chuck, sixty eight percent lean, is about the best we can hope for.

That's Charlie. My best friend. He's into beef analogies, partly because he's a butcher's son, and partly because, well, he's just into beef analogies. What can I say? He's also a photographer...

I genuinely think she wants me. I feel a vibe.

That vibe is from your wrist, pal. You've been overtenderizing your meat, again.

See? Did you see that?

She smiles at everyone, Ted. She's like a newborn with gas.

The only chick more untouchable than Christy Malone is Miss April. "Hi, my name's Ginger. I love tofu burgers, rainy nights, and riding bareback. My biggest turnoff is cell phones during sex." Here's a tip: set it on VIBRATE, honey, and don't be stingy with the lube. Don't knock it till you tried it.

Were you always this sick?

One thing for sure, Christy Malone ain't lookin THAT good naked.

Someday, I'll find out.

You have a better chance of being hit by a Mack truck with a refrigerated cargo bed full of sirloin tip.

I defy your hamburger theory of life, and all of the unfulfilled hopes and dreams it represents.

That's crazy talk.

I defy any and all limits.

Don't do it, Ted. Don't do it.

Any time, any day, a man can completely reinvent himself.

Think about it...Long tunnel, bright lights, it's full of vaginal symbolism.

Poor Freud, turning in his grave.

Seriously, it's like we're being reborn. We really could reinvent ourselves here, just like you said. Nobody knows about your massive humiliation.

Nobody knows about your mental retardation.

Nobody knows you barfed during junior high school graduation.

Nobody knows about your constant masturbation.

And nobody knows you're a virgin! Aw, who are we kidding...

What are the odds of there being ANOTHER Ted Nelson on our flight?

Astronomical.

Who the hell was your father?

Well, Dad said...

...A bouncer? Are you serious?

Maybe he got promoted.

This is the life, baby. We get ourselves some tail and we're talking SPRING BREAK!