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"Previously on The West Wing:" " Jed!" " I can't do the job, Abbey." "Do you understand?" "I can't do it." " Where's Donna?" " She got a new job, I think." "I've got her cell if you wanna give her a call." " Pick your dream candidate?" " I don't know how this works." "You pick the smartest, most capable most honorable individual you can think of, and you have a conversation." " I'm not running for Congress again." " I'm not talking about Congress." "Josh should have called." "I could have saved him a trip." "They don't have anyone else?" "A Latino district, and they cannot come up with a decent Democrat?" "You'd think." " Did you leave it open with him?" " No." "I would break you in half." "He knows I'm not going back to the House." "Give me a hand." "These guys are out." "Look at how big this kid is." "I mean, he's down to my knees." "When did this happen?" "Shooting up." "It's that time." "He's got his own smell." "So, what did he want?" "He's not worried about the House anymore." "Supposed to walk Russell through a Cinco de Mayo parade..." " ...establish his Chicano street cred?" " Not quite." "I hate politicians who wear cowboy boots." "That's the least of his problems." "Women spend their entire lives trying to get out of heels." "What possible use is there?" "The guy is a lawmaker." "It's like going through life wearing a welder's helmet." " He's not a bad guy." " Well, his footwear's moronic." " He's just trying to get elected." " Exactly." " God, this is good." "You want some?" " What is it?" " It's ice cream, melted." "It's good like this." " I'm fine." "Josh wants me to run for president." " Of the United States?" " I'm pretty sure." "Wow, they are hard up." "I mean, you know what I mean." "It's...." " Are you thinking about this?" " No." " You're not." " Told him no." "Told him no." "What did he say?" "He said that I was right, that it was a stupid idea and that I made the right decision." "Man of conviction, right there." "He's got it all figured out." "A nine-point plan." "It's pretty interesting." "Nine points?" " Why not seven or three or...?" " I don't know." " This plan is supposed to make you...?" " Win." " Oh, my God." "You're thinking about this." " I told him no." "Well, I'm going to bed." "Those kids are gonna be up in a couple hours." "Don't forget the trash." "The Bartlet administration remains optimistic about upcoming trilateral talks with China and North Korea." "South Korea offers energy assistance to its power-starved neighbors." "It's quarter past the hour and this is Morning Edition." "The first chink in the armor of the Washington-Pyongyang stalemate..." " ... appeared last month in Beijing." " Oh, my God." "Chinese President Lian agreed to broker talks..." "Are you kidding me?" " Well, good morning." " Right." "I love it when it's cold enough to make the mud crusty." " You don't have to do this." " Sorry." "You have the full text of this blog thing from the Rohmer Report?" "Go." ""What team does she play on?" "Washington abuzz with fresh allegations that a certain former Bartlet administration press secretary may have more than a passing interest in pursuing what many have described as a radical homosexual agenda. " And it goes on." " To say what?" " You played sports at Berkeley and were the first girl in Ohio Prep history to dunk a basketball." " Oh, Lord God." " And that's pretty much it." " Did Tommy call?" " Tommy?" "Burly Tommy Keller with the mop on top?" "Two dinners at the Oval Room last week, the reason I'm wearing this necklace who's picking you up at 7 tonight Tommy?" " He called?" " No." " Everybody in there?" " All here." "Five minutes early." "Well, great." " Morning." " Morning, C.J." "Lovely." "I've never been more attracted to you." "Restrain yourself." "Last night's House vote means we have a budget headed for conference committee." "We don't wanna get hung up on a bunch of silly HHS riders like two years ago." "We're close, but it's not a..." " Slam-dunk." " Hey, now Charlie made a funny." "Guys, our whole agenda's riding on this." "We can't afford another shutdown." "We've got the president's legacy." "This is our last chance to do good, and it all lives or dies with this budget." "Track this closely." "We gonna get college loan and Pell expansions?" " Yeah, both versions." " Just got a list of Republican conferees." " Wilkinson?" " I thought it was a seniority thing." "They can do whatever they want." " Why they do it behind closed doors." " Isn't this it for him?" "I thought he was going to Kansas to sell flat globes." " Was he in on budget negotiations?" " Didn't see him." "We keep an eye out." "Hit the phones." "Will, what do you got?" "VP is speaking to the NAACP next week." " I'm coordinating with policy shops." " You want help?" " You talking to me?" " I may be able to help." " You're offering to help the VP?" " I can help you with those guys." " "Those guys"?" " You're the whitest guy on the planet." "Yeah." "Got any particular insights you wanna share?" "Is it weird?" "Did it just get weird in here?" " A little." " What else?" "Kate, where's Uzbekistan?" "Something big blew up." "Doesn't appear to be nuclear." "We're going over the pictures now." "We really have no idea." "Never open these meetings to the public." "Keep me posted." "President's working from the residence." " If you need him, bring it to me." " He okay?" "He's fine." "Temporary balance problems." "Just precautionary." "We don't wanna risk another fall." "You wanna send a message of love, bring this budget home." "Excuse me, I have to craft a personal statement supporting reproductive arts." " Hang in there." " Yeah, yeah." " There's a basketball in the trash." " Nothing but net." " Don't put out a statement." " I will be respectful." " We don't need this distraction now." " It feels funny." " Be more articulate." " This can't be a coincidence." "Rumors about your sexuality the same day Republicans shove Wilkinson..." " ...on the budget committee?" " You're acting like a dog in Pompeii." "Hold off on the statement." "Let me make some calls." "You're drastically overestimating the political potency of my sex life." "Not possible." " This is great." " Sir?" "I have a neurological disorder, and you've got me doing calisthenics." "Can I put this in a book I'm gonna write?" "If I wanted to exercise, I never would've become an economist." " Curtis, my friend, how you doing today?" " Just fine, sir." "Well, a mighty blessing upon your mighty frame, son." "Appreciate that." "What can I do for you?" " Is my wife about?" " I believe she is, sir." "Thank you." "Okay." "You got me trying to do stuff I couldn't do before I got sick." "When you're feeling wobbly, that's a good opportunity for range of motion." "Terrific." "I'll just pretend I'm a crustacean." " Use it or lose it." " Could be said for the power of the presidency." " Good Lord, Jed, are you all right?" " I'm fine." "I just...." "Thank you, Curtis." "I may need you." "I'll holler." " Right outside the door, sir." " You bet." " Great kid." " I'd like to watch him eat a pie." " You on your way?" " I got a quick meet with your doctor and C.J. later this morning five interviews and three receptions this afternoon." " Oh, jeez." " Hell's where you gotta keep smiling and you can't take off your pantyhose." "Want me in the C.J. meeting?" "If you wanna hear yourself referred to in the third person." "I didn't think my schedule would be so light on protein." "Well, it's all right, Jed." "You can afford to lose a few pounds." " I'll see you this evening." " I'll be here." " He in there?" " Yeah." "Don't go in." " He alone?" " How do you mean?" " Not with others." " That is correct." " He'll be fine." " Step away from the door." "Hey, one second." "You all right?" " How's this?" " I'll tell you after I read it." "Come on in." "She likes it closed." " Interesting girl." " Yeah." "I think I lost the temp lottery." "She's making me finish one thing at a time." "It's insane." " Tell her to back off." " You tell her." " Call Donna." " I can't." "You may have to resort to manhood." "I'm the victim." "How am I supposed to be a man?" "This Wilkinson thing seem strange to you?" "I got calls out to the minority leader and the conferees." "I'm gonna call the whip then see Wilkinson." "We'll get this budget locked up." "Why did you go to Houston?" " Why'd you go to Houston?" "Santos?" " Yeah." " What'd he say?" " He's not running." " Could have used him in the House." " Yeah, it's a shame." " You went all the way down there?" " I like him a lot." "Russell and Hoynes both still after you?" " Yeah." " Make up your mind?" "I'm here with you to the bitter end, with bells on." "Vinick makes his way through the primaries there's not gonna be a Democratic Party." "No." "I know." "I'm on it." "You're done." "Leave." "I don't know what you're talking about." "This girl's fantastic." "Minority leader on one." "Yes, senator, we understand." "Sure." "And we appreciate the restraint you've shown through this entire budget process." " Yeah, yeah." " Thank you." "And you know this White House is gonna back you 100 percent." "Sit, sit." "Yeah, Baker's my next call." "Thanks for the heads up." "Oh, I'm fine." "I only use the Internet to shop." "Thanks for asking." " Cripes." "What's up?" " So I have some interview requests." " Go ahead." " The Advocate, Out The Village Voice, The San Francisco Chronicle..." " Make my stinking day." " ..." "Washington Times Goddess Monthly, Nantucket Republican and Field Hockey Quarterly." " Field hockey?" " I just made that one up as a joke." " Aren't you perky as all get-out." " It seems to be isolated..." " ...to just the..." " Sports fans." "And the statement?" "I wanna be sure this doesn't distract from the government." "Yeah, I've been struggling with this." "Deny something you have no problem with and make it publicly clear this is private." "That'd be great." "Okey-dokey." " Hey." "President still in the residence?" " Yeah." "We found out what Wilkinson's doing in the conference." " Federal ban on gay marriage." " Sanctity of Marriage Act." " They're attaching it to the budget?" " To avoid spending the rest of our days in gridlock, we ban gay marriage." "Oppose it, we paint the whole party as out of touch with traditional American values for the election." " And the budget goes down in flames." " Margaret!" "Call the residence." "We need to see the president now." "I looked over your résumé." "I think we both know it's an undersell." "What I'd take to the vice president is the knowledge you've gleaned over six years on the frontlines." "I think we can safely say you've picked up a lot." "I try to pay attention." "I just wanna make sure I'm not starting a turf war." "Hate to find the deputy chief at my door with a switchblade." "You're not poaching me." "I need to move on." "And Josh is...." " He'll find someone to answer his phone." " Well, we can use you." "No question." "And not as anybody's assistant." " Sanctity of Marriage?" " That's right." " On the budget?" " Yes, sir." "Didn't they attach family planning to a highway bill last year?" " They did." " What's with these people?" " Can't stop talking about sex." " If they can't have it." "Am I having a flashback, or is my brain going?" "Last time they called it Marriage Recognition Act." " First term pocket veto." " Who is this?" " Wilkinson." " What's he doing on the committee?" " That's what we said." " It's a guts move by the leadership." " We slap it down." " Threaten a veto." "Make it clear this ambush is unacceptable." "Get a statement going." "They'll think twice before forcing shutdown." "I disagree." "It's a bad pitch." "Don't swing." "There any doubt it would get overturned by the courts?" "Well, it's not likely." "So far, anything short of full recognition for same sex partners is a constitutional no-go." "This amendment is pure symbolism." "Is it worth holding up our entire agenda?" "Get it off the bill, guys." " And if we can't?" " Just get it off the bill." " Thank you, Mr. President." " Thank you, sir." "Wilkinson's more of a federalist than an ideologue." "Why's he suggesting we override the states?" "The courts will take care of that." "We need this budget." "At the end of the day, you may have to sign it." " What was that about?" " Well, he didn't say he wouldn't veto it." " He didn't say he would." " We can get this done." " Wanna enlighten us?" " He wants it off the bill." " We got that." " We won't play chicken in the middle of a budget round." "We're always in the middle of a budget round." "With a president who can't go down stairs?" "He's not running again." "Why can't we help him?" "He made the call." "Let's get it off the bill." "Try and dole out some budgetary pork to members of the committee." " See if we can get this killed." " Okay." " Maybe Sioux City needs a monorail." " I'm late for the first lady." "Share your feelings with Wilkinson." "Talk him down." "With what?" "A threat that the president might actually sign it?" "You'll figure it out." "He has a 50 percent chance of developing secondary-progressive MS because the lesions have accelerated here." "That's pretty common." " You don't know how to stop it?" " Give me 10 years and stem cells." "Sorry." "We need to focus on the best way to manage his symptoms..." " ...in this unique environment." " That's what this is." " Stress?" " Can't be good." "Before and after pictures around this place are intense." "No more back-to-back marathon meetings." "An hour, max." "His legs are gonna cramp and spasm." "Don't want him kicking out the Resolute desk." " Or one of the Joint Chiefs." " How many hours a day?" "Depends." "Six or seven, tops, and he's gonna need a nap midday." "A nap?" "He's gonna love that." "It's the public time that's gonna be tough." "Standing behind podiums, shaking hands, Cabinet meetings." "So more phone, more memos, things he can read and sign." "Too much reading may lead to optical problems." "You're gonna have to limit reading materials." " Oh, Lord." " Anything else?" "High temperatures can trigger attacks." "Gotta keep the Oval below 70." "Okay." "So we'll do a daily report on the president's condition in morning staff." "The bottom line is, we have to be prepared for anything, every day." "Got a minute?" " You should call so I can gather my wits." " Sorry." "You've seen The Federal Government Are a Bunch of Dinks. com?" " What if I reject the premise?" " They're all over the C.J. thing." " Anything new?" " Her high school basketball stats." "Apparently, she was all-Dayton." " You heard about the amendment?" " Just now." " The president wants it off the budget." " Okay." "It'd be nice if the vice president made a statement against it..." " ...maybe called Wilkinson." " The VP is pro-marriage." "As are we all." "I've been married almost twice." "Same woman." " That's unique." " We're fine with it." "Okay, then." " So the VP will make a statement?" " What's the president's position?" " He wants it off the bill." " What's his position?" " That he wants it off the bill." " And if it stays on the bill?" "We need your help on this." "Right." "This is a lose-lose for us, Toby." "Coming out for it hurts us in the primaries." "Coming out against it hurts us in the general." "I'd have to advise the VP to wait and see." "I wanna kill it before it learns to walk." "I don't know why you're here." "Talk to the president about a veto." "Yeah." "Good idea." " It's getting bigger." " Oh, hi." "Sorry." "You wanted an update on this Internet rumor." " It's getting bigger?" " Blogs are saturated and now there's a query from the Post." "They're doing a piece on strategic bloggering." " What are you, 4' 10"?" " Me?" "I'm 4' 11 "." " I can't believe we're the same species." " There's your update." "I know we shouldn't say anything, but are you sure we shouldn't say anything?" "Be great to get it off the Net but it would seem like a comment on the marriage act." "Plus, a statement brings this to every news outlet." " I was gonna say..." " Not a peep?" "Thanks for your advice." " The conferees are waiting." " Tommy didn't call?" " Crickets." "Guy's starting to tick me off." " Crickets?" " Senator Wilkinson." " Oh, I've been waiting for an emissary." "Figured it'd be the vice president." "Senator, you're one of this country's great federalists." "You believe in state and local control of education." " I do." " State and local law enforcement." " Yep." " I'm not sure you think there should be a federal government at all." "Well, we lost that fight some time ago, didn't we?" "So why would you want an unprecedented, top-down federal mandate to govern every state's marital laws?" "Now that we have a federal government..." " ...it can protect national values." " Like individual freedoms?" "I was thinking of the institution of marriage." "When the budget's done let's get a group to talk about it." "I don't need another study to tell me what's right." "Senator, I'm not criticizing the sincerity of your beliefs." "Well, that's refreshing." "Toby, do you believe the Bible to be literally true?" "Yes, sir." "But I don't think either of us is smart enough to understand it." "The president wants this off his budget." "Well, if you're here to threaten a veto, now's the time to do it." "I'm a busy man." "I don't appreciate your coming here with hollow threats." "And I don't appreciate people spreading rumors about C.J. Cregg." "I don't know how to use a typewriter, much less a computer." "I think the president is gonna sign it, Toby." "And I think that you're here because you think he might sign it too." "Marla, I need the numbers for the meeting." "The earmarks for the conferees." "Can you get that?" "I'm late here." "Oh, jeez." " Hello." " I don't like to be yelled at." "I would like to have the earmarks so that I can go and do my job." "Earmarks." "Is that frat boy for pork?" " Here you go." " Thank you." "Three hundred thousand dollars for potato-storage research?" " Starches are vital." " How vital is $50 million..." " ...for an indoor rain forest in Iowa?" " It attracts tourism." "And mosquitoes, I'm guessing." "I'm trying to get some distinguished members of Congress to remove a hateful, gay-bashing amendment from the budget." "By bribing them with taxpayers' hard-earned money?" "I don't know if you read the memo, but I set budget policy." " You alphabetize and sort." " Josh." "You got a second?" " Yeah." "Come in." " You're gonna be late." "So, what are you working on?" "Actually, right now, trying to build an indoor rain forest." " Well, good luck with that." " I'm sorry about landing on you like that." " My wife wants to kill you." " I got a lot of women mad at me." " You ought to work on that." " I do have to go to this meeting." " Budget glitch we're trying to sort out." " So would this be a package deal?" " The budget?" " No." "I've been thinking about your nine-point plan." " Really?" " Yeah." "But I would like to add a 10th." " What's that?" " You." "The filing deadline's next Thursday." "I'm in, if you're in with me." "So no one here is troubled that the Paper Reduction Act is more than 500 pages long?" "Let's just see if we can squeeze it down, save a couple of trees." " Thank you." " Thank you, Mr. Vice President." "You can always tell a bureaucrat, but you can't tell him much." " Unless you tell him in triplicate." " What do you need, Toby?" " Sanctity of Marriage." " Yeah, yeah." "Will gave me the heads up." " He helpful?" " Not as obedient as he used to be." "That's good to hear." "That's rough about C.J." "Yeah, it's a rough town." "Mr. Vice President I know you don't wanna get ahead of the president but we need you to come out against the marriage act." " Why would I wanna do that?" " A clear signal from the White House..." " ...and Wilkinson will fold." " I think Will is right." "I'm gonna have to pass." "Mr. Vice President, this amendment isn't about protecting marriage." "It's about institutionalizing the last acceptable form of discrimination." "You can't just sit back and allow the religious right..." " ...to hijack the social agenda." " I know..." "Presidential campaigning has to be about more than duck and cover." "This is an opportunity for you to stand up..." "I've got a nephew who's gay." "I love this kid." "His name's Todd." "I want him to have the same rights and opportunities as everybody else." "He wants to go to West Point." "It makes me sick we'd send him into battle to defend a union, but he can't enter into one." " Come out against this." " We're not there yet." "5000 years of socialization didn't go out the window with the Village People." "You do this wrong, and there'll be a backlash that sets us back 50 years." "You do it right, we'll be there in 10." "And in the meantime, what message are we sending?" "We're making progress." "We've got domestic partnerships, nondiscrimination laws." "Besides, demographics or destiny, kids don't give a damn about this." "You would tell the president to sign this, then?" "I'd tell him to get his budget and so would my nephew." "Tommy?" " Any Tommy?" " No Tommy to give." " Boston Globe wants..." " Oh, my God." "...to know if we're gonna comment on the amendment." " A voice out of nowhere." " MSNBC too." "MuckrakersManifesto. com has a story you were gonna coach in the WNBA." "That's ridiculous." "I went to, like, three Mystics games." "Fox News, both mean Irish guys, whole bunch of websites 11 more newspapers and be quick about it." " They're all writing about me." " Not exactly." "But the amendment gives them license to mention rumors." "President wants a budget with no amendment." "That's the line." " And work up a statement." " I thought we decided not to." "Just in case." "Respectful, non-defensive, not that there's anything wrong with it." " I tried that." " And?" "And I gave up because it's stupid." " Is that an option around here?" " Toby suggested it might be." " What else did he suggest?" " That the chief of staff doesn't issue personal statements that read like letters to Soap Opera Digest." " Not that I'm a subscriber." " I'd like a draft on my desk in an hour." "What are you doing?" " I got a bad temp." " This is where you become just sad." "Call Donna." " What happened with Wilkinson?" " He won't budge." "When God starts talking to people, limits the debate." "How's the pork?" "Not having much luck with the other conferees." "Carson wants 600 grand for alternative salmon products." "I think we should just ditch the budget and open a grocery store." " This amendment's gonna pass." " They don't wanna vote against marriage." "We'll run out of salmon products before they vote against church and family." "How I hate this issue." "It's like walking around town holding a sick chicken." "If the president isn't willing to veto I don't know how we nickel-and-dime our way out." "So we don't even try." "C.J.'s caving, VP thinks the country's not ready to fight discrimination and for all I know, the president's in naptime." "No one wants to get near this issue." "Even Hoynes is hedging." "Three-paragraph statement." "Can't even tell if he thinks..." " ...there should be a Congress." " He put out a statement?" "He said it deserves thoughtful study." ""Thoughtful study"?" "He said that?" "Straddling the political divide like an adonis." " He was on Judiciary with Wilkinson?" " Yeah." "Long time." "So Santos stopped by." "Filing deadline's in two days." "He wants me to go with him." " To Texas?" "What for?" " New Hampshire." "Why does he wanna go to New Hampshire?" "To run for president." "I kind of talked him into it." "I think I gotta go with him." " I laid out a nine-point plan." " Is one of the points a military junta?" "Okay." "I'm gonna go back to my office now." "You can't leave." "We're not done here." "You can't skip out with the president lying flat on his back." "Seven years, you're gonna leave with a get-well card?" " Gotta think about the ninth year." " You're gonna tell the president..." " ...you just found a better horse?" " There you are." " Hi." " Secretary of agriculture is calling." " Something about a fruit laboratory." " Thank you." "So maybe we'll get Carson after all." "If I make any progress, I'll get you a new whip count." "You getting through all the files?" "Yeah, I'm almost up to the Hoover administration." "Margaret give you call sheets for the conferees?" "Yep." "I spoke to McKenna." " He's fine on the education offsets." " Figured you just had a heart attack." " They had to take your call." " Whatever it takes." "Drives me crazy when they use the budget as a social soapbox." "It's a popular issue." "No one wants to be the first one to line up against it." "If you live your life underneath a magnifying glass you tend to stay away from the heat." " How you holding up?" " Feeling a little over-interpreted." "The Internet thing." "Am I wrong to wanna set the record straight, no pun intended?" "When I was labor secretary, The National Enquirer ran a story that I'd married Elizabeth Taylor while skydiving over New Mexico." "I'm a heterosexual." "I don't know why I just said that except, as of today, I'm the most famous...." "Not famous, but apparently the most powerful lesbian on the planet." "And the fact of the matter is, I'm absolutely crazy about this man I just met and had two fabulous dinners with in the space of one week." "A man who hasn't called me today probably because he's of the undependable gender or maybe he has even less of an idea about how to deal with my alleged and fictitious lesbianism than I do." "So he'll just remain silent like a submarine under the icecap, and drift away." "Just like the legion of other cowards whom I spent my life staring at the phone panting like a collie for table scraps until I became successful and started to scare them with the very independence they required me to have so that now I'm looking at some bad numbers, if you know what I'm talking about." "But what was I supposed to do?" "Turn down an opportunity to serve the president who I believe in and adore?" "You just wanna share it with someone, you know?" " So if you wanna send more call sheets..." " Sure." "No, that'd be a great idea." "I need you to stay, Leo." "So does the president." "C.J., Toby needs you." "Wilkinson won't move, the vice president has chosen this moment to find his noble core and Hoynes may be behind this whole thing." " Hoynes?" " We have to put the president..." " ...with Wilkinson." " That's not gonna happen." " How's Hoynes involved?" " Doesn't matter." "The president has to threaten a veto to get this off the bill." " President's not ready to veto." " You told him not to." " I'm not willing to sink the budget." " Over your dating life." "No, over an empty gesture that's gonna be struck down by the courts." "So that's what we're gonna do." "Pass the buck and pray for judicial restraint." "President's resting." "We can't haul him down when we can't do what he asked." "You're afraid because it'll call attention to this garbage they're running." "No, I'm too busy composing my letter to the editor of Soap Opera Digest." "Josh is thinking of leaving." " What?" " To help Matt Santos run for president." " The congressman from Texas?" " Leo's gone." "Josh has a foot out the door." "It's you and I, we're gonna have to run this thing." "We gonna stand for something or just change the sheets for the president's hospital bed?" "We fight an amendment with no practical impact and massive popular support?" "Yes, we should fight it." "Fight the symbol." "Yes." "Symbols matter." "If they didn't, why would you care what they say on the Internet?" "I have to go downstairs for a quick meeting." "C.J. called me." "God forbid anyone should see me bumming around the West Wing." "Might think I'm actually running the country." " This gonna be your idea of resting?" " Only gonna take a couple of minutes." "We have a situation here, Jed." "I feel like a guest at the most secure bed and breakfast on the planet." "What's so important that you'd risk your health?" " The Sanctity of Marriage Act." " Oh, that old chestnut?" "I was hoping for at least an international crisis." "Hold the fish loosely, Jed, or it's gonna flop right out of your hands." " I wanna put my pants on." " What?" "My pants." "I can't put them on." "Oh, okay." " Here." " How body from spirit" "Does slowly unwind Until we are pure spirit at the end" "You gonna quote poetry now?" "So this is why they make you take vows." "Yep." "This is why." "Could you overnight this up to David at Concord, please?" " New Hampshire office up and running?" " Eleven of them." "Cheaper to buy in bulk." "Little different than Orange County three years ago, huh?" " This guy's got a pulse for starters." " Well, technically speaking, sure." "Don't miss the romance of the upstart campaign?" "Sorry to make you waste a walk." "Toby already tried to go over my head." "Remind him the vice president and I actually do talk every once in a while." "You know, he really appreciates your offer to help on this NAACP stuff." "Sure." "Great." "You good?" " How's Donna working out?" " Great." "She have an office yet?" "I didn't see her out in the bullpen." "She headed to New Hampshire for a couple of weeks." "Excellent." "Well, next time you see her, tell her I say hi." "Of course." "Okay, see you guys on the plane tomorrow." "Where are you off to?" "South Carolina in the morning, Georgia in the afternoon." " Working on your Southern strategy?" " And my winter tan." " You could use a couple of rays yourself." " I'm not so much in for tanning but I'll give it some thoughtful study." "The luxury of being out of public office." "I don't have to take a position on every issue before the Congress." "You served with Wilkinson on the Judiciary Committee, right?" "I did." "He's a good man." "I mean, he is out there, but he's for real." "Won't take a cent of PAC money." "It's unbelievable." "So you encouraged him to visit his righteous indignation down on the budget process, make Russell swing to the right on gay marriage slay him with the Democratic faithful in the primary?" "It makes sense." "I'm just confused who the viable candidate is when Russell's gone." "You underestimate the American public." "Generally a good policy." "I don't trust their judgment." "I forgot you work for the president of Cuba." "I trust their aspirations, just like all those guys in the white wigs." " Some were slave owners, I hear." " Exactly." " C.J. too?" "That your handiwork?" " No." "No, I feel terrible about that." "I'm gonna win this thing, Toby." "Hey." "So are the queers gonna destroy marriage as we know it, or what?" "I have no idea." "I'm handing out pork like Popsicles." "Wilkinson's meeting with the president." " Thought he was in the residence today." " Yeah, so did the first lady." "I'd steer clear." "Oh, I'm not getting anywhere near that one." " So I think I found my guy." " Yeah?" " That's good." " Matt Santos." " He said yes." "He's gonna do it." " Santos?" " Really?" " I know." "I got this nine-point pl..." "I don't need to hear it." "You smell a moment, you gotta go." "I don't wanna leave you guys with just a candygram and a get-well card." "We'll be fine." "Come with me." "I think this guy may be the real deal." "I already found my guy." "I don't know how to tell him, Leo." "Hey." "Hey." "Agriculture's still dragging their feet on this Appalachian fruit thing." "It was Hoynes." "He wanted to force Russell to support the Sanctity of Marriage Act." "Heartwarming." "So Santos, huh?" "What are you gonna do when this is done?" "Whatever I can to stave off the chaos, mayhem and self-interest that lies just beneath our civil disguise." "So not the private sector." "The money would have to be unbelievable." " See you." " Yeah." " You all set, sir?" " I'm fine, Nancy." "Bring him on in." "Mr. President, Senator Wilkinson." "Sam." " Well, you look terrific, Mr. President." " Thank you." " Sorry I can't get up, but I can't get up." " You're in our prayers." "I appreciate that, Sam." "I really do." "Now, tell me what I can do to get your amendment off my budget." "Against nature." "Men leaving the natural use of the woman burned in their lust toward one another." "Men with men, working that which is unseemly." "Romans." "Would it offend you, Sam, if I said this amendment represents a selective interpretation of the Scriptures?" "A complete inversion of the values of Jesus Christ?" "No, sir, it wouldn't offend me." "I'm secure in my faith." "Isn't there something in that book about forgiveness?" " Aren't we all God's children?" " Of course we are." "Which is why the government shouldn't institutionalize behavior in opposition to our faith." "What gives us the right to visit our faith upon the country?" "One nation under God." "What gives us the right not to?" " You talked to John Hoynes about this?" " John's a friend of mine." "But I introduced this amendment because I believe you want to sign it." "You told me as much six weeks ago at the prayer breakfast." "That civil unions are one thing but that marriage is between a man and a woman." "I can't stand up anymore." " Sir?" " I've lost my balance." "It should come back, but it's gone now." " Are you dizzy, sir?" " No, I just can't find my balance." "It went away." "I try thinking it back, but it's difficult because it's not a static thing." "Once it's gone, it's hard to imagine having it back again and it's disheartening to realize that thinking just isn't gonna get it done." "You've just got to trust that you'll happen onto it again." "You only have one more year, Mr. President." "Yeah, I've got a great future behind me." "Attaching this to the budget gives you all the cover you need." "How is this our job, Sam?" "I raised my right hand and swore an oath to uphold the Constitution of the United States of America." "Where was your left hand, Mr. President?" "This was sent over from the northwest gate." " It says "Oval Room at 9. "" " Yeah." " Are the press still in there?" " Yeah." "This is your statement." "Hey, I just wanted to tell you guys that the Sanctity of Marriage Act's been removed from the budget at the president's urging." "The conferees are moving towards a clean budget bill." "It should be on the president's desk tomorrow." " Are we on the record here?" " Sure." "What the hell." "Are you a homosexual?" "You know what?" "I've spent the last 14 hours being snickered at by United States senators being ostracized on the World Wide Web having my own colleagues question my ability to do my job." "And I let it get to me." "So I don't think it really matters whether I'm gay or straight or the best women's basketball player in Ohio Valley history." " No one should be treated this way." " You didn't answer the question." "That's right, because it's none of your business." "Josh, he can see you now." " Mr. President." " Josh." " How you feeling?" " Not too bad." "Sir, I never imagined that I would be having this conversation." "Any word on...?" "Russell for president." "I wanted to start this journey in the place where it all started for me." "Soon, we will be inundated by the polls and the punditry and the prognostications." "All the nonsense that goes with our national political campaigns." "But none of that matters." "This is the place that matters." "Because every day, children walk into this schoolhouse to glimpse their futures." "To ask for hope." "They may not know they need it yet, but they do." "And I am here to tell you that hope is real." "In a life of trials, in a world of challenges hope is real." "In a country where families go without health care where some go without food some don't even have a home to speak of, hope is real." "In a time of global chaos and instability where our faiths collide as often as our weapons, hope is real." "Hope is what gives us the courage to take on our greatest challenges to move forward together." "We live in cynical times." "I know that." "But hope is not up for debate." "There is such a thing as false science." "There's such a thing as false promises." "I am sure that I'll have my share of false starts in this campaign but there is no such thing as false hope." "There is only hope." "And with your help and your hard work and the hopes of good people all across this land I hereby announce my candidacy for president of these United States."

"We'll be reaching Baas Island in about three minutes." "Roger, Seacat 9." "Let us know as soon as you see Godzilla and the Little One." "Look there!" "Baas Island has disappeared!" "KN-1079, ready for takeoff." "Roger, KN-1079." "You're clear for takeoff." "Runway 1-3." "V-1." "Rotation." " V-2." " Gear up?" "Gear up." " What is that?" " Oh, my god!" "It's a monster!" "Left turn!" "Report, Tower!" "As you saw, the ray color and the glowing spines... we haven't ever seen these before." "All right, but what caused this?" "Remember Baas Island." "It disappeared in a matter of minutes... due to the nuclear fission of pure uranium... generated by a gigantic underground eruption." "That eruption must have influenced Godzilla." "I'm Meru Ozawa reporting, sir, US Special Agent." "I have Dr. Marvin with me with the latest news on Godzilla." "Now, for reasons of security, please use the scrambler." "As we all know, there's a hypothesis... that Godzilla's power source, which is equal to the heart in a man... is nothing but a power reactor." "Apparently, something is happening there... in the reactor, in Godzilla's heart." "Look at this." "I have here a thesis which accurately analyzes it... from every point of view." "It came through the Internet from a Japanese college boy." "It's an interesting and certainly an unusual opinion about Godzilla." "So, your father, he was Dr. Yamane's son, right?" "His adopted son." "You see, Godzilla killed all his family." "So Dr. Yamane raised him as his own son." "My dad wanted his kids to become great scientists later on in life... but I failed all my exams, and my sister works as a TV newscaster." "I don't think he'd be very proud of us." "Are you telling me Yukari Yamane is your sister?" "That's right." "You sent your thesis to the States." "Why did you do that?" "I didn't have any choice." "I sent it to G Center." "But they didn't reply." "They ignored it completely." "I'm not surprised." "My college professor thought it was done as a joke." "He even refused to mark it." "Will you come to G Center?" "To be honest, sir, my father told me a lot about Godzilla." "He collected enormous amounts of data on him." "However, to be honest..." "I don't want to get involved in all this." "Godzilla is really just a hobby, you see?" "And anyway, conferences never resolve anything." "In that case, I'd better be going." "Excuse me." "Oh, Miss Sagusa." "Back already?" "Of course." "I'll see you there." "Wait." "Tell me, was that Miss Miki Sagusa?" " Yeah, it was." " Is she working at the G Center?" "She is." "She's heading the team looking for the Little One." "Then I'll do it." "Please." "Let me come and work for you." "Tomorrow." "No, today!" "Right now!" "Okay." "Come on, then." "Let's go." "So you see, with the complete analysis of the oxygen... we have been able to micronize the atoms." "So you have micro-oxygen?" "Right." "And with this, you won the Nobel Prize for physics... back in 1995, I believe." "But tell me, how will this affect people's daily lives... and is this relevant?" "Well, for instance... we can construct smaller and lighter oxygen tanks for divers." "And if we feed micro-oxygen to fish... they'll grow much bigger than normally fed fish." "So, therefore, micro-oxygen could solve our food problems." "It certainly seems like our future is rosy... but what about the darker side of this invention, Doctor?" "What darker side?" "I'd heard reports that it could be used in making weapons." "Yes, it is true that the tiny atoms can penetrate any metal." "So it is possible." "Any weapon made this way would be extremely effective." "However, I don't think anybody in this day and age... would want to risk provoking a global war." "Thank you very much, Doctor." "There we have it, an invention that holds great potential for the future." "You were hard on the guy." "Why did you bring up the weapons angle?" "Because he was a smug and self-centered know-it-all." " Don't you think so?" " You've always been a straight talker." "Be careful." "It could ruin your love life." " What does that mean?" " Nothing." "Just kidding." " Oh, I've got a message for you." " Right." "Thanks." "What could Auntie want?" "We still haven't located the Little One." "Where could he be?" "Well, maybe Little One's already dead." "Miki, this is our new team member at G Center." "Kenkichi Yamane, at your service." "You said he was dead." "What makes you say that?" "Godzilla is now a super monster." "He was regenerated." "He took power from the nuclear blast... but maybe the others didn't survive it." "They could have all been killed." "It's possible that the Little One was among those that didn't make it." "He didn't survive the change." " You mean micro-oxygen?" " Yes." "Don't you see?" "It's almost identical to what Dr. Serizawa invented." "It was way back in the '50s." "It destroys all of the oxygen in the water." "It suffocates the marine life." "Then it liquefies it, making the waters sterile." "I remember." "He said that if it was... ever used as a weapon... it'd be far worse than any nuclear weapon." "So the doctor destroyed his research papers... and sacrificed his life for peace." "But now, this Dr. Ijuin's new invention... seems to be the sane thing." "But surely not." "Yukari Yamane, huh?" " The doctor's daughter?" " You know of my father?" "Every scientist in Japan does." "He was famous." "What about Dr. Serizawa?" "You heard of him?" "Of course." "Well, in that case, you must have heard about his invention." "When I began to study oxygen..." "I did make references to his papers." "And I know, my micro-oxygen is very similar to his work." "So you must know of the risks involved." "The past 40 years... have seen unbelievable changes in the environment." "Maybe we can put this discovery to practical use." "But Serizawa died to prevent its use." "We can't allow sentimentalism... to interfere with the growth of scientific knowledge." "My discovery just shows what is there." "I haven't produced anything that nature hasn't already seen before." "These strata don't look right." "Something weird's going on." "We've had some strange readings." "Well, there's nothing to worry about." "They're within the tolerances." "Sir, the temperature controls have gone haywire... and the elevator's broken down!" " What's going on?" " The elevator shaft's melting!" " Let's get out of here!" " Yeah, let's go!" "Evacuate!" "There's an abnormal increase in water temperature in the Sea of Taiwan." "It's about 60 to 70 degrees centigrade." "The high temperature of the seawater... recorded by our flying laboratory this morning... shows that there's now too much nuclear fission in Godzilla's body." "As you know by now, nuclear fission is Godzilla's source of energy." "But, of course, this power plant has to be cooled by air and water." "However, the Baas Island incident has greatly increased the rate of fission." "What will happen now?" "Godzilla will increase in power, and finally he will explode." "Are you quite sure?" "Supposing Godzilla does explode." "What will be the damage?" "It will be devastating-- more than all nuclear weapons put together... a burst of energy unseen since time began." "According to our calculations, the planet's atmosphere... will heat up and then explode... vaporizing everything we know." " There he is!" " Sir, can you give us" "We don't know yet." "What about the melted elevator shaft?" " You've got to give us something." " I can't comment." "I'm sorry." "There was a rise in temperature." "That's all I can say right now." "Yes, but, Doctor" "At the scene of the disaster, experts are remaining tight-lipped... as to the possible cause of the accident." "Preliminary reports about a huge rise in temperature at the site... which caused an elevator shaft to melt... have not yet been confirmed so far." "You took soil samples from the tunnel, didn't you?" "It was the exact site where the first Godzilla... was killed about 40 years ago, right?" "You're very observant." "You'll go far." "I've been talking with my aunt and" "And what?" "You still think I'm a mad scientist-- that I want to make Armageddon happen?" "Those soil samples may yield some information." "The strata indicate that the soil had no oxygen millions of years ago." "This is the time period that I think will provide us with clues." "You mean there was a time when there was no oxygen present?" "Billions of years ago." " The Precambrian era, to be precise." " And creatures managed to survive?" "Yes, but they were different from creatures we know today... and the samples should reveal all." "They'll give us all the answers, will they?" "You don't seem to be taking this seriously." "What's the matter?" "Sorry." "Forgive me." "But I wasn't laughing at you." "Honestly." "You just seem such a romantic." "Well, maybe I am a romantic." "But rest assured, I'm not a mad scientist, okay?" "Signs of life?" "Impossible!" "What do you mean, "no more attacks"?" "That's right, sir." "We have no choice." "Yes, but we can't just sit here." "We have to stop him!" "We'd be lighting a tinderbox, General... that could ignite an explosion that will destroy the planet." "Yes, but... we can't sit here and do nothing at all." "If we can't launch a physical attack... then we shall have to use a chemical approach." ""Chemical approach"?" "Could you please explain further?" "There's only one solution." "We must kill him the way we killed the first Godzilla." " You can't!" " The oxygen destroyer." "Listen to me, Ken." "Dr. Serizawa destroyed all his research." "There's nothing left to go on now." "He didn't want his work used." "In the end, he took his own life to save the world." "Yeah, a waste of a good man." "Even if you make one, are you sure it will be properly used?" "No, I'm not sure." "But, Auntie, this time the Earth is in danger." "If we don't build one, then we're finished." "But still, I don't like it." "Don't do it... whatever the reasons are." "Auntie!" "It's me, Yukari!" "Nuclear fission inside Godzilla's body!" "Are you sure?" "It's still a secret." "I'm telling you 'cause maybe you can help." "I want you to ask Dr. Ijuin to build an oxygen weapon." "Are you crazy?" "I can't do that." "I know how you and Auntie feel, but there's no other way." "I promise you." "Any further signs of life yet?" "No, nothing." "Maybe we just imagined it." "So there was a life-form in this sample." "Hello." "The water!" "It seems to be eating away at the fish!" "First you come to see me to warn me not to make an oxygen destroyer." "Now you want me to make one?" "It's the only way Godzilla can be destroyed now." "Every other means has failed." "You're the only one who can do it." "I said I could make one... but I didn't say it was going to be easy, did I?" " Besides" " Besides?" "I made an analysis of the surrounding soil." "I've seen the effect the oxygen destroyer had on it." "If it had been used on the ground, it's quite obvious... that Tokyo would have become a cemetery." "Yes, Yamane speaking." "What?" "At the aquarium?" "Look at that fish." "Jesus, it's disintegrated." "I'd like to take this tape away for analysis." "Hold it there and zoom in." "3-D scan." "What is it?" "I'd say that was the Iife-form from the soil sample." "Do you mean to say it's from the Precambrian era?" "But it's mutated since then." "It was a microorganism, just harmless and inert." "However, 40 years ago... it was hit when the oxygen destroyer was first fired." "And since then, it's been evolving abnormally." "The thing you were afraid of has already come true, in fact." "This hole here is proof of it." "The fish too." "It could already be too late." "It can't be!" "Micro-oxygen has already been unleashed." "This is Seacat 3." "Godzilla's been sighted north of Okinawa." "Heading: north-northeast." "Red alert!" "All units, scramble immediately!" "Hong Kong, Taiwan, Okinawa." "It's quite obvious he's heading this way." "Yes, but why is he heading this way, General?" "Look at these reports of whales being killed." "You think it's the Little One?" "But he isn't a killer." "This doesn't make any sense to me." "No, I know." "But maybe Baas Island changed something deep inside of him." "You think so?" "Whatever happened, I have to go look for him." "Still nothing." "Little One, where are you?" "Calling all cars." "Reports of unknown life-forms in the eastern industrial sector." "Please respond immediately." "Car 105 here." "We just arrived." " Here." " Thanks." "Get back!" "Let the police vehicles through!" "Let them through!" "Omega leader to Sigma." "Omega leader to Sigma." "We're in position and ready to move in." "Over." "Sigma leader to Omega." "Sigma leader to Omega." "We will cover the basement." "Over." "This is Sigma 7!" "We found the creature!" "Level B!" "Sigma leader to all units." "Move in on level B immediately." "Over!" "Here is a special news bulletin." "Reports are coming in of mysterious creatures... wreaking havoc in the Tokyo Bay area." "We're now going over to our reporter, live at the scene." "I'm at the eastern industrial area, where fighting... is going on behind me inside a warehouse... between special forces and some unknown creatures." "Several soldiers have been badly injured, and the creatures are" "There they go!" "Get them!" "We can't do enough damage!" " Get that flamethrower in here now!" " Clear!" "There it is!" "I got him." "Please evacuate the area!" "Evacuate the area!" " Please clear this area at once!" " Excuse me." "You must stop the shooting." "Tell your commander." " Who are you?" " I'm Dr. Ijuin, the physicist." "I'm sorry, you have to leave, sir." "The area's dangerous." " He's heading towards us!" " All right, the door!" "Move!" "Grenades!" "Fire in the hole!" "Clear!" "Apparently, there are several creatures about ten feet in height... and they are reptile-like and dangerous." "What's up?" " Get out of here!" " Look out!" "Run!" "Run!" "Shoot it now!" "Get out of here!" "All right, everybody, back!" "Move back, everybody!" "Get out of here!" "Get out of here!" "Doctor!" " Where's Yukari?" " I don't know!" "Attention!" "Godzilla has been sighted in the Bungo Channel." "What's happening?" "He's after the nuclear reactors." "It's Godzilla!" "Look!" "He's coming right for us!" " Sound the alarm." " Right." "I guess his nuclear fission's become so intense... he needs extra supplies of nuclear fuel." "Godzilla's at our nuclear plant... and we are powerless to stop him." "If we attack him, General... we may set off the explosion." "And if that were to happen, it would mean the end of civilization." "Sir, the defense ministry." "They're on the line." "They want to speak to you, sir." "G-Force, Aso here." "You what?" "The Super X III?" "It's going in?" "Super X III?" "The Super X III is our latest multipurpose-capability aircraft." "It has been adapted to cope with nuclear power plant accidents." "It is equipped with state-of-the-art cadmium missiles." "None of its weapon systems use explosive heads, though." "They're all what we call "freezer weapons"." " Freezer weapons?" " That's right." "They're ultralow-temperature laser guns... that freeze matter up to -200 degrees Celsius." "But who will pilot it?" "It'll be one of our best pilots." "Let's hope he can do it." "Commence preflight check procedure." "Ground crew, evacuate area." "Commence liftoff." "Final preflight check completed." "GNG control being engaged." " All systems responding." "A-OK." " Roger." "Prepare runway." "All ground systems standing by." "Hangar open." "Runway clear for takeoff." "Super X III, take off." " Come on!" "Let's go!" " Right!" "It's coming straight for us!" "Move!" "Super X III passing point S-11." "Preparing to attack." "Freezers on." " Freezers on standby." " Roger." "Hey, did you see that?" "His heat ray's gotten stronger." "Freezers, lock on target." "Target locked on." "Let him have it." "Do you ser that?" "He's slowing down." "Cadmium shells, fire." "The freezers will cool him down, and the cadmium will keep him cold." "I got a feeling it might work." "Good." "It's working." "All lasers are armed, sir." "Stand by." "Fire." " All right!" " Yes!" "Good." "I have a reading on Godzilla's temperature." "It's rising quickly." "The computer says that he should stay frozen for six hours." "Over and out, sir." "It's been several hours now." "I hope he stays underwater." "Otherwise, we're in trouble." "Report from NASA satellite headquarters, sir." "The sea temperature is starting to rise rapidly in that area." "He's starting to move again." "Target moving eastward into the Pacific!" "Eastward?" "Why not toward the reactor?" "Maybe he's got enough fuel." "The fission seems to be coming under control, sir." "What's that?" "Look here, sir." "You see, it peaked here, but now it's falling away." "The cadmium seems to be doing its work at last." "Great." "So there'll be no explosion." "No, I think the worst is over." "The latest reports say the creatures have become quieter." "However, Dr. Ijuin has said... that maybe they could become more agitated if oxygen levels change." "So there's still a lot of danger at the moment." "However, the army are at present working on a special device... that they hope will destroy these creatures." "Minus 150." "Minus 160." "Minus 170." "Mix the micro-oxygen." "It liquefies at -183 degrees Celsius." "I hope this freezing weapon will neutralize... the micro-oxygen content of the creatures' bodies and kill them." "Excellent." "Yes?" "I see." "Troops are being sent in to reinforce special forces." "So, you're new here?" "Yeah, I'n doing the ESP here." "I did a special course in the USA." "I'm a paleontologist, so I'm good with dinosaurs." "But I must say, I never thought I'd end up chasing Godzilla around the place." "I've been working here years." "Seven, in fact." "I also did the ESP course... but my powers have been fading for a while now." "I really don't know if I'Il even be able to find the Little One." " And I'm afraid." " Afraid?" "To be honest, I can't wait to lose my powers... and just lead a normal life." "An ordinary girl with a husband and children." "That's what I would like." "An ordinary life." " Look!" " Look out!" "So he's alive after all." "Latest pictures from our helicopter, sir." "The Baas Island incident really has changed him." "It's not a baby anymore." "It's an adult, see?" "Godzilla Junior is here." "It looks like Godzilla's changing his course." "It seems to me that Godzilla is chasing our Junior." "Chasing him?" "Is that possible?" "That's incredible." "It is possible." "Godzilla and Junior are of the same species." "I think your theory could be right." "The Little One's turning north." "North?" "Sure?" "The Bering Sea." "That's where he's heading." "Of course he is!" "He's going to his nest." "Why didn't I think of that before?" "And if Godzilla's chasing Junior... that means he's heading that way." "Excuse me, sir." "I've got news from the US G Control Center." "It doesn't look too good." "They have the latest readouts from the satellites." "It seems Godzilla's temperature is rising." "It's 900 degrees, sir." " 900 degrees?" " How can that be?" "We managed to control the fission... but his reactor must be breaking up." "It's getting out of control." " What will happen?" " A meltdown." "Meltdown?" "First his heart, the reactor, will melt down." "Then his outer body will." "There will be nothing left." "But when he does melt down, he'll destroy the Earth too." "The China Syndrome, but much worse." "A meltdown is the worst scenario." "Worse than explosion." "I've calculated he'll melt at 1200 degrees." "His temperature, at present, is rising 50 degrees a day, sir." "That means he'll melt down in about a week from today!" "Even sooner than that, it would seem, according to the Americans." "He'll never make it to the Bering Sea." "We're coming to you live from above Tokyo Bay." "It would appear that all the soldiers have been exchanging flamethrowers... for some kind of advanced freezer weapon." "So far, the creatures have been keeping out of sight." "Freezer gun ready." "Pod open." "Elevation: 38." "Target: 4-1-2." "Try to lure the creatures out into the open." "The tanks need to get a good shot at them." "Oxygen marker on standby." "Sir!" "We're ready, sir." "Ultralow-temperature lasers standing by." "Good." "Creature has surfaced!" "Maximum alert." "Be ready to fire." "Sir!" "The creatures are now in range!" "All right." "Ready?" "ULT laser guns, fire now!" "Freezer guns, fire." "Cooler shells, fire!" "Well, Doctor, it's working." "See?" "Excuse me, sir." "The creatures are assembling." "What's happening?" "Micro-oxygen-- there's too much of it, sir." "It's gone haywire!" "What on Earth is happening down there?" "This is incredible." "The creatures seem to have combined to form one big, giant monster." "I know micro-oxygen, and it doesn't have that kind of power." "So what does?" "An oxygen destroyer." "It can destroy everything." "Its power is that awesome." " Destroyer." " Destroyer?" "Godzilla and Destroyer." "I can't believe it." "Now we've got two monsters." "That's an oxygen destroyer." "But could that thing be man-made, do you think?" "An oxygen destroyer was thought impossible." "But still, it is there, right in front of our eyes." "What are you thinking?" "Just one thing:" "That only that monster can stop the meltdown." "You mean, get the Destroyer to fight Godzilla?" "You're crazy." "It's preposterous." "Maybe it's not so preposterous." "Maybe he's got something there." "This could be the answer." "Yes, it is!" "I have studied Godzilla more than anybody presently alive." "I'm telling you now, it's the only way, sir." "I think we should give it a try, sir." "Three days, sir, then meltdown." "Well?" "Can you afford not to try?" "Do you have any better solutions right now?" "Yes, but just how are we going to get them to fight each other?" "You know, if we lure the Little One to Destroyer, Godzilla will follow." "You can't use the Little One as a decoy." "Anyway, he's on his way home, isn't he?" "Listen, don't be sentimental." "Our future's at stake here." "Whatever your feelings, stopping Godzilla's meltdown is our priority." "With or without your help, I'm going to change his course." "I hope you understand that." "She's quite right." "We must remember:" "it's not just Junior, or even Tokyo we have to think of." "General, evacuate everyone in a 200-mile radius of Tokyo." " Right." " He's bringing Godzilla to Tokyo?" "That's right." "This is crazy." "Run!" "Run!" "There he is!" "Let's get the hell out of here!" "Little One, you mustn't die!" "Get up, Little One!" "Godzilla has entered Tokyo Bay." " He's on his way." " Godzilla is getting closer." " What happened?" " Destroyer is... sucking energy from Junior." "He's inserting micro-oxygen molecules into him." "Junior isn't going to survive much longer." "He did it!" "So what's happening?" "Take a look." "Something's happening in the fire over there." "Look there." "It's Godzilla and Junior." "And they're calling each other." "That's the adult Destroyer." "I've never seen anything so big." "I think we'd better get out of here." "Heading for home, sir." "Destroyer has mutated." "Godzilla's temperature is 1140 degrees Celsius." "Sir, emergency call." "It's the chopper." "We'll need the assistance of the air force again." "Tell them to send in the Super X III immediately." "The Super X Ill?" "Yes." "Listen." "When Godzilla melts down... we may be able to minimize the damage... but we need to freeze him." "Timing is critical." "We have to freeze him just at the right moment." "Super X III, scramble." "ATS lock system open." "All the freezers are armed?" "Yrs, sir." "Freezer laser fuel has been replenished too." "All right." "Let's go freeze that overgrown lizard." "This is going to make my day." "Afterburners ready." "Super X III, you are clear for takeoff." "Good luck, you guys." "Thank you." "Super X III, take off." "It's Destroyer!" "He's headed towards the bay!" "Where could he be going?" "Sir, we've just lost contact with SC9!" " You what?" " That's Miki's chopper, sir." "Hey, look." "Little One!" "Just look at him." "He's crying." "He can't understand why he's lost his family." "I have a feeling this is going to be Godzilla's last fight." " Destroyer!" "He's coming this way!" " Miki's out there!" " Lieutenant, do we have a chopper?" " No, sir." " The TV chopper." " Cone in, chopper." " I'm sorry, sir." "Not responding." " Then keep trying!" "Come on, Sis." "Godzilla's temperature is in the red zone, sir." "Sir, I've got the TV station's chopper now." "Hey, Sis, are you reading?" "Can you hear me?" " What a monster!" " See?" "Even the Destroyer... can do nothing against Godzilla's power." "It's okay." "Come on!" "Come on." "This way." "Run!" "The TV chopper is passing point D now, sir." "Hurry up." "Come on!" "I can see them!" " Look!" "Look!" " Come on!" " She's hurt." " Okay, I got her." "Help me!" " You okay?" " I'm okay." "All right." "Come on." "Hurry!" "Get in." "Quick." "The meltdown must be close." "Let's move it!" "Let's go!" "Go!" "All right, now stand by to fire." "Shoot when it hits 1200." "Super X III, standing by at 500 meters." "Godzilla's temperature approaching critical!" "His spines are melting." "It's time." "Freezer guns, stand by to fire!" "Destroyer's escaping, sir!" "Freezer guns, fire!" "Locked on." "Ready." "ULT lasers, fire." "Destroyer-- he's falling to the ground, onto Godzilla!" "Meltdown." " Fire at will." " ULT lasers, fire one." "Fire two." "Maximum power." "What radioactivity!" "Godzilla's gone." "He's turned Tokyo into a ghost city." "It looks like we paid for it in the end." "Paid for what?" "All of it." "All that stupid use of nuclear energy." "Our job is done now, Godzilla."

"Yes, sweetheart?" "A girl wants to see you." "Her name's Wonderly." "A customer?" "I guess so." "You'll want to see her, anyway." "She's a knockout." "Shoo her in, Effie, darling." "Shoo her in!" "Will you come in, Miss Wonderly?" "Thank you." " Won't you sit down, Miss Wonderly?" " Thank you." "I inquired at the hotel for a reliable private detective." "They mentioned you." "Suppose you tell me about it from the very beginning." "I'm from New York." "I'm trying to find my sister." "I believe she's here in San Francisco with a man by the name of Thursby, Floyd Thursby." "I don't know where she met him." "We've never been as close as sisters ought to be." "If we had, Corinne would have told me she was running away with him." "Our parents are in Honolulu." "I must find her before they return." " They'll be back on the first." " You've had word of your sister?" "A letter from her about two weeks ago." "It said nothing except that she was all right." "I sent a telegram begging her to come home." "I sent it to a general delivery address, the one she gave." "I waited a week and no answer came so I decided to come out here myself." "I wrote her that I was coming." "I shouldn't have, should I?" "It's not always easy to know what to do." "You haven't found her?" "No." "I wrote in my letter that I'd be at the St. Mark and for her to meet me there." "I waited three days." "She didn't come." "She didn't even send a message." "It was horrible." "Waiting." "I sent her another letter." "Yesterday afternoon I went to the post office." "Corinne didn't call for her mail, but Floyd Thursby did." "He wouldn't tell me where Corinne was." "He said she didn't want to see me." "I can't believe that." "He promised to bring her to the hotel if she'd come." "He said he knew she wouldn't." "He promised to come if she didn't." "Excuse me." "It's all right, Miles." "Come in." "Miss Wonderly, my partner, Miles Archer." "Miss Wonderly's sister ran away with a fellow named Thursby." "They're here in San Francisco." "Miss Wonderly has a date with Thursby tonight." "Maybe he'll bring the sister." "The chances are he won't." "Miss Wonderly wants us to find the sister, get her away from him and back home." " Right?" " Yes." "Now it's simply a matter of having a man at the hotel tonight to shadow him when he leads us to your sister." "If, after we've found her, she still won't leave him well, we have ways of managing that." "You must be careful." "I'm deathly afraid of him, of what he might do." "She's young, and his bringing her here is a serious..." "Mightn't he do something to her?" "Just leave that to us." "We'll know how to handle him." "But I want you to know he's a dangerous man." "I honestly don't think he'd stop at anything." "I don't think he'd hesitate to kill Corinne if it would save him." "Could he cover up by marrying her?" "He has a wife and three children in England." "They usually do, though not always in England." "What does he look like?" "He has dark hair and thick, bushy eyebrows." "He talks in a loud, blustery manner." "He gives the impression of being violent." "He was wearing a light gray suit and a gray hat when I saw him this morning." "What does he do?" "I haven't the faintest idea." " What time's he comin' to see you?" " After 8:00." "All right, Miss Wonderly." "We'll have a man there." "I'll look after it myself." "Thank you." "Oh, yes." "Will that be enough?" " Thank you." " Not at all." "It'll help some if you meet Thursby in the lobby." "You don't have to look for me." "I'll see you all right." "Thank you." " Thank you so much." " Good-bye." "They're right enough." "They have brothers in her bag." " What do you think of her?" " She's sweet." "Maybe you saw her first, Sam, but I spoke first." "You've got brains." "Yes, you have." "Hello." "Yeah." "Speaking." "Miles Archer dead?" "Where?" "Bush and Stockton?" "Yeah." "In 15 minutes." "Thanks." "Hello, Effie?" "It's me." "Now, listen, precious." "Miles has been shot." "Yeah, dead." "Now, don't get excited." "Yeah." "You'll have to break the news to Iva." "I'd fry first." "And keep her away from me." "That's a good girl." "Now, get right over there." "You're an angel." "Good-bye." " What do you want here?" " I'm Sam Spade." "Tom Polhaus phoned." "I didn't know you at first." "They're back there." "Hello, Sam." "I figured you'd want to see it before we took him away." "Thanks, Tom." "What happened?" "Got him right through the pump with this." "It's a Webley." "English, ain't it?" "A Webley-Forsby.45 automatic, 8-shot." "They don't make 'em anymore." " How many gone out of it?" " Just one." "Let's see." "Shot up here, huh?" "Standing like you, with his back to the fence." "The man who shot him stood here." "Went backwards down the hill, takin' the fence with him, got caught on the rock." "That's it." "The blast burnt his coat." " Who found him?" " Man on the beat." " Anybody hear the shot?" " Somebody must've." "We just got here." "You want to look at him before we take him away?" "No, you've seen everything I could." "His gun was still on his hip." "Hadn't been fired." "His overcoat was buttoned." "I found a $100 bill in his vest pocket and about $30 in his pants." "Was he working', Sam?" "Well?" " He was tailing a guy named Thursby." " What for?" "What for?" "We wanted to find out where he lived." "Don't crowd me, Tom." "I'm goin' on down to break the news to Miles' wife." "It's tough, him gettin' it like that, ain't it?" "Miles had his faults like any of us, but he must've had some good points, too." "I guess so." "Miss Wonderly, please." "Checked out?" "What time?" "Any forwarding address?" "Thanks." "Hello, Tom." "Hello, Lieutenant." "Come in." "Sit down." "Sit down." "Drink?" "You break the news to Miles' wife, Sam?" "How'd she take it?" " I don't know anything about women." " Since when?" "What kind of gun do you carry?" "None." "I don't like 'em." "There are some at the office." "You don't have one here?" "You sure about that?" "Look around." "Turn the dump upside down." "I won't squawk if you got a search warrant." "We don't want to make" "Why are you suckin' around here?" "Tell me or get out!" "You can't treat us like that." "It ain't right." "We got our work to do." "Why were you tailing' Thursby?" "I wasn't." "Miles was 'cause we had a client" " Who's the client?" " Sorry, I can't tell you that." "Be reasonable, Sam." "Give us a break, will you?" "How can we turn up anything if you don't tell us what you got?" "Tom says you were in too much of a hurry to stop and look at your dead partner." "You didn't go to Archer's house to tell his wife." "We called your office and the girl there said you told her to do it." "I'll give you 10 minutes to get to a phone and talk to her." "I'll give you 10 minutes to get to Thursby's joint." "You could do it easily in that time." "What's your boyfriend gettin' at?" "Just this:" "Thursby was shot down in front of his hotel half an hour after you left Bush Street." "Keep your paws off me." "What time did you get home?" "A few minutes ago." "I was walkin' and thinkin' things over." "We know." "We tried to call you." " Where'd you walk?" " Bush Street." " Did you see anybody" " No." "No witnesses." "Well, I know where I stand now." "Sorry I got up on my hind legs, but you tryin' to rope me made me nervous." "Miles gettin' killed upset me, then you birds crackin' foxy." "It's all right now that I know what it's all about." "Forget it, Sam." " Thursby die?" " Yep." "How'd I kill him?" "I forget." "He was shot in the back four times with a.44 or.45 from across the street." "Nobody saw it, but that's how it figures." " Hotel people know anything?" " Just that he lived there a week." " Alone?" " Yeah, alone." "Did you find out who he was?" "What his game was?" "Well, did you?" " We thought you could tell us that." " I've never seen Thursby, dead or alive." "You know me, Spade." "If you did it, or if you didn't, you'll get a square deal and most of the breaks." "Don't know if I'd blame you, a man that killed your partner but that won't stop me from nailing' you." "Fair enough." "But I'd feel better about it if you'd have a drink with me." "Success to crime!" "She's in there." " I told you to keep her away from me." " Yes, but you didn't tell me how." "Don't be cranky with me." "I've had her all night." "Sorry, angel." "I didn't mean" "Hello, Iva." "Sam!" "Darling." "Effie take care of everything?" "I think so." "Sam, did you kill him?" "Who put that bright idea in your head?" "Well, I thought you said if it wasn't for Miles, you'd..." "Be kind to me, Sam." ""You killed my husband, Sam." "Be kind to me!"" "Don't, Iva, don't." "You shouldn't have come here today, darling." "You ought to be home." "You'll come soon?" "Soon as I can." "Good-bye, Iva." "Well how did you and the widow make out?" "She thinks I shot Miles." " So you could marry her?" " The cops think I killed Thursby the guy Miles was tailing for that Wonderly dame." "Who do you think I shot?" "Are you going to marry Iva?" "Don't be silly." "I wish I'd never laid eyes on her." "Do you suppose she could have killed him?" "You're an angel." "A nice, rattlebrained, little angel." " Oh, am I?" " Thanks, honey." "Suppose I told you that your Iva hadn't been home long when I arrived to break the news at 3:00 this morning?" "Are you telling me?" "She kept me waiting at the door as she undressed." "Her clothes were on a chair where she'd dumped them." "Her slip, on top, was still warm." "She'd wrinkled the bed, but they weren't mashed down." "You're a detective, darling, but she didn't kill him." "Do the police really think you shot this what's his name?" "Do they?" "Look at me, Sam." "You worry me." "You think you know what you're doing, but you're too slick for your own good." "Someday you're going to find it out." "Spade and Archer." "Yes, Miss Wonderly." "Hello." "Yeah, this is Sam Spade." "Where?" "Coronet Apartments, California Avenue, Apartment 1001." "What's the name?" "Miss LeBlanc." "Okay, I'll be right over." "Have Miles' desk moved out of the office and have "Spade and Archer" taken off the doors and windows, and have "Samuel Spade" put on." "Come in, Mr. Spade." "Everything's upside down." "I haven't finished unpacking." "Sit down." "Mr. Spade, I I have a terrible, terrible confession to make." "That story I told you yesterday was just a story." "Oh, that." "Well, we didn't exactly believe your story, Miss..." "What is your name, Wonderly or LeBlanc?" "It's O'Shaughnessy." "Brigid O'Shaughnessy." "We didn't exactly believe your story." "We believed your $200." "You mean" "You paid us more than if you'd told the truth and enough more to make it all right." "Tell me, Mr. Spade, am I to blame for last night?" "You warned us that Thursby was dangerous." "You lied to us about your sister and all that, but we didn't believe you." "No, I wouldn't say that you were at fault." "Thank you." "Mr. Archer was so alive yesterday..." " ... so solid and hearty, and" " Stop it." "He knew what he was doing." "Those are the chances we take." "Was he married?" "Yeah, with $10,000 insurance, no children, and a wife that didn't like him." " Please don't." " That's the way it was." "Anyway, there's no time for worrying about that now." "Out there's a flock of policemen and assistant DAs running around with their noses to the ground." "Mr. Spade, do they know about me?" "Not yet." "I've been stalling 'em until I could see you." "Do they have to know?" "Can't you shield me so I won't have to answer their questions?" "Maybe, but I gotta know what it's all about." "I can't tell you." "I can't tell you now." "I will later, when I can." "You've got to trust me, Mr. Spade." "I'm so alone and afraid." "I've got nobody to help me if you won't help me." "Be generous, Mr. Spade." "You're brave." "You're strong." "You can spare me some of that courage and strength, surely." "Help me, Mr. Spade." "I need help so badly." "I've no right to ask you, I know I haven't, but I do ask you." "Help me." "You won't need much of anybody's help." "You're good." "It's chiefly your eyes, and that throb you got in your voice when you say things like, "Be generous, Mr. Spade. "" "I deserve that." "But the lie was in the way I said it, not at all in what I said." "It's my own fault if you can't believe me now." "Now, you are dangerous." "I'm afraid I won't be able to be of much help to you without some idea of what it's about." "For instance, I've gotta have some sort of a line on your Floyd Thursby." "I met him in the Orient." "We came from Hong Kong last week." "He promised to help me." "He took advantage of my dependence on him to betray me." "Betray you?" "How?" "Why did you want him shadowed?" "To find out how far he'd gone, whom he'd met, things like that." " Did he kill Archer?" " Certainly." "He had a Luger in his shoulder holster." "Archer wasn't shot with a Luger." "Mr. Spade, you don't think I had anything to do with the death of Mr. Archer?" " Did you?" " No." "That's good." "Floyd always carried an extra revolver in his coat pocket." "Why all the guns?" "He lived by them." "The story is that he first came to the Orient as bodyguard to a gambler who'd had to leave the States." "The gambler had since disappeared and Floyd knew about it." "I don't know." "I do know he always went heavily armed, and he never went to sleep without covering the floor around his bed with newspapers so that nobody could come silently into his room." "You picked a nice sort of playmate." "Only that sort could have helped me, if he'd been loyal." "How bad a spot are you actually in?" "Bad as could be." "Physical danger?" "I'm not heroic." "I don't think there's anything worse than death." " Then, it's that?" " It's that, as surely as we're sitting here." "Unless you help me." "Who killed Thursby, your enemies or his?" "I don't know." "His, I suppose." "I'm afraid..." "I don't know." "This is hopeless!" "I don't know what you want done or if you know what you want." "Will you go to the police?" "I just got to stand still, and they'll be all over me." "I'll tell 'em all I know, and you must take your chances." "You've been patient with me and tried to help me." "It's useless and hopeless, I suppose." "I do thank you for what you've done." "I'll have to take my chances." "How much money have you got?" "I've got about $500 left." "Give it to me." " There's only $400 here." " I had to keep some to live on." " Can't you get some more?" " No." "You got anything you can raise money on?" " I've got some furs and a little jewelry." " You'll have to hock 'em." "There you are." "I'll be back soon with the best news I can." "I'll ring four times:" "long, short, long, short." "You needn't bother to come to the door." "I'll let myself in." "Anything stirring?" "Did you send the flowers?" "You're invaluable, darling." "Get my lawyer on the phone, will you?" "Hello, Sid?" "I think I'm going to have to tell a coroner to go to blazes, Sid." "Can I hide behind the sanctity of my client's identity secrets and whatnots all the same, priest or lawyer?" "But Dundy's getting a little rambunctious, and maybe it is a bit thick this time." "What'll it cost to be on the safe side?" "Maybe it's worth it." "Okay, go ahead." "Gardenia." "Quick, darling, in with him!" "Will you come in, Mr. Cairo?" "Will you sit down, Mr. Cairo?" "Thank you, sir." "Now, what can I do for you, Mr. Cairo?" "May a stranger offer condolences for your partner's unfortunate death?" "Thanks." "Is there, as the newspapers imply a certain relationship between that unfortunate happening and the death a little later of the man Thursby?" "I beg your pardon." "No." "More than idle curiosity prompted my question." "See, Mr. Spade, I'm trying to recover an ornament that, shall we say, has been mislaid." "I thought and hoped you could assist me." "The ornament is a statuette a black figure of a bird." "I am prepared to pay, on behalf of the figure's rightful owner, the sum of $5,000 for its recovery." "I am prepared to promise that, what is the phrase "No questions will be asked. "" "$5,000 is a lot of money." "Yes, Effie?" "No, that'll be all." "Just be sure to lock the door on your way out." "Good night." "$5,000 is" "You will clasp your hands together at the back of your neck." "I intend to search your offices, Mr. Spade." "I warn you, if you attempt to prevent me, I shall certainly shoot you." "Go ahead and search." "Please come to the center of the room." "I have to make certain that you are not armed." "Look what you did to my shirt!" "Sorry." "But imagine my embarrassment at discovering that $5,000 offer was just hooey." "Mr. Spade, my offer is genuine." "I am prepared to pay $5,000 for the figure's return." " You have it?" " No." "If it isn't here why did you risk serious injury to prevent my searching?" "Why should I sit here and let people come in and stick me up?" "Certainly it is only natural that I try to save the owner such a considerable expense if possible." "Who is he?" "Mr. Spade, you'll forgive my not answering that question." "I think we'd be better off all around if we'd put our cards on the table." "No, I do not think it would be better." "You see, if you know more than I do, then I shall profit by your knowledge." "So will you, to the extent of $5,000." "There's nothing like $5,000 here." "You want some assurance of my sincerity?" " A retainer?" "Would that do?" " It might." "You will take, say, $100?" "No." "I will take, say, $200." "Your first guess was that I had the bird." "There's nothing to that." "What's your second guess?" "That you know where it is, or at least you know it is where you can get it." "You're not hiring me to do murders or burglaries but simply to get it back if possible, in an honest, lawful way?" "If possible." "But in any case, with discretion." "When you wish to contact me, sir, I'm staying at the Hotel Belvedere Room 635." "I sincerely expect the greatest mutual benefit from our association, Mr. Spade." "May I please have my gun now?" "Oh, sure." "I'd forgotten all about it." "You will please clasp your hands together at the back of your neck." "I intend to search your offices." "Well, I'll be..." "Why, sure." "Go ahead." "I won't stop you." " Turn right and go up the hill, driver." " Okay." "Mr. Spade!" "Do you bring me any news?" "Did you manage it so the police won't have to know about me?" "They won't for a while, anyway." "You are wonderful!" "You won't get into trouble?" "I don't mind a reasonable amount of trouble." "Do sit down." "You aren't exactly the sort of a person you pretend to be, are you?" "Why, I'm not sure I know exactly what you mean." "The schoolgirl manner." "You know, blushing, stammering and all that." "I haven't lived a good life." "I've been bad." "Worse than you could know." "Good, because if you actually were as innocent as you pretend to be we'd never get anywhere." "I won't be innocent." "Good." "By the way, I saw Joel Cairo tonight." "Do you know him?" "Only slightly." "You're good." "You're very good." " What did he say?" " About what?" " About me." " Nothing." " What did you talk about then?" " He offered me $5,000 for the black bird." "You won't go around straightening things and poking the fire again, will you?" "No, I'm not." " What did you say?" " I said $5,000 was a lot of money." "It is." "It's more than I can ever offer you if I have to bid for your loyalty." "That's good coming from you." "What have you ever given me besides money?" "Have you ever given me any of your confidence, any truth?" "Haven't you tried to buy my loyalty with only money?" "What else is there I can buy you with?" "I don't care what your secrets are." "But I can't go ahead without more confidence in you than I've got now." "You have to convince me you aren't just fiddling around hoping it'll all come out right in the end." "Trust me a little longer?" "How much is a little?" "What are you waiting for?" "I've got to talk to Joel Cairo." "You can see him tonight." "He's at the theater." "It'll be out soon." " I'll leave a message at his hotel." " But he can't come here." "I'm afraid to let him know where I am." "My place, then." "Hello?" "I want to leave a message for Joel Cairo." "I never would've placed myself in this position if I didn't trust you completely." "That again?" "You know that's true, though." "You don't have to trust me as long as you can persuade me to trust you." "But don't worry about that now." "He'll be along any minute." "You get your business with Cairo over with then we'll see how we stand." "You'll let me go about it with him in my own way?" "Sure." "You are a godsend." "Now, don't overdo it." "Mr. Spade!" "There is a boy outside." "He seems to be watching the house." "I know." "I spotted him." "What?" "What's that?" "What boy?" "A kid." "He's been trailing me all evening." " Did he follow you to my apartment?" " I shook him before that." "Come in, Mr. Cairo." " I'm delighted to see you again, madam." " I was sure you would be, Joel." "Mr. Spade told me about your offer for the falcon." " When will the money be ready?" " It is ready." " In cash?" " Yes." "You're ready to pay $5,000 if we turn over the falcon to you?" "Excuse me, please." "I must have expressed myself badly." "I did not mean that I have the money in my pocket but I am ready to get it for you on a few minutes' notice anytime during banking hours." "That's probably true." "He only had a couple hundred when I searched him this afternoon at my office." "I shall be able to have the money for you at, say, 10:30 in the morning." "But I haven't got the falcon." "I'll have it in another week at the most, though." "Then, where is it?" "Where Floyd hid it." "Floyd?" "You know where he hid it?" "Then why do we have to wait a week?" "Perhaps not a whole week." "And why, if I may ask another question, are you willing to sell it to me?" "Because I'm afraid." "After Floyd, I'm afraid to touch it except to turn it over to somebody else." "What exactly did happen to Floyd?" "The fat man." "The fat man?" "Is he here?" "I don't know." "I suppose so." "What difference does it make?" "It might make a world of difference." "Or you or me." "Precisely." "But, shall we add, more certainly the boy outside?" "Yes." "But you might be able to get around him, Joel as you did the one in Istanbul." "What was his name?" "You mean the one you couldn't get to come to" "This is the second time that you have laid hands on me!" "When you're slapped you'll take it and like it." "Who's that?" "I don't know." "Keep quiet." "Hello." "You guys pick swell hours to do your visiting in." " What now?" " We want to talk to you." " Go ahead and talk." " Do we have to do it out in the hall?" " You can't come in." " Come off it now, Sam." "You aren't tryin' to strongarm me, are you?" "Why don't you be reasonable?" "It would pay you to play along with us." "You got away with this and that, but you can't keep it up forever." " Stop me when you can." " That's what I intend to do." "There's talk about you and Archer's wife." " Is there anything to it?" " Not a thing." "She tried to get a divorce from him to put in with you but he wouldn't give it to her." "Anything to that?" "Talk is that's why he was put on the spot." "Don't be a hog, Dundy." "Your idea I killed Thursby because he killed Miles falls to pieces if I'm blamed for killing Miles." "You haven't heard me say you killed anybody." "You keep bringing that up." "Haven't you anything better to do than to pop in here early every morning asking fool questions?" " And gettin' a lot of lying' answers." " Take it easy." "If you say there's nothin' between you and Archer's wife, you're a liar." "Is that the hot tip that brought you up here at this ungodly hour?" "That's one of 'em." "And the other?" "Let us in!" "All right, Spade, we'll go." "Maybe you're right in bucking' us." "Think it over." "Help!" " I guess we're goin' in." " I guess you are." "What's goin' on in here?" "Look, Officer!" "Look what she did!" " Did you do that?" " I had to." "I was alone with him." "He tried to attack me." "I had to keep him off." "I couldn't shoot him!" "You dirty, filthy liar!" "It isn't true!" "I came up here in good faith, then both of them attacked me." "Then when he went out to talk to you he left her here with a pistol." "She said as soon as you leave they'll kill me so I called for help." "I didn't want you to leave me to be murdered." "And then she struck me with the pistol!" "Why don't you make him tell the truth?" "Wait a minute!" "That's no way to act!" "I don't guess we'll be wrong runnin' the lot of 'em in." "Don't be in a hurry." "Everything can be explained." "I'll bet." "Miss O'Shaughnessy, Lieutenant Dundy and Detective Sergeant Polhaus." "Miss O'Shaughnessy is an operative in my employ since yesterday." "That's a lie, too!" "That is Mr. Joel Cairo." "Cairo was an acquaintance of Thursby's." "He came to my office late this afternoon and hired me to find something Thursby had on him when he was bumped off." "It looked funny to me the way he put it, so I wouldn't touch it." "Then he pulled a gun on me." "That's neither here nor there unless we start preferring charges against each other." "Miss O'Shaughnessy and I discussed the matter and decided to find out exactly how much he knew about Miles' and Thursby's killings so we asked him to come here." "Now, maybe we did put the questions to him a little roughly..." "You know how that is, Lieutenant?" "But we didn't hurt him enough to make him cry for help." " What have you got to say to that?" " I don't know what to say." "Try telling' the facts." " What?" "Facts?" " Quit stalling'." "Just swear out a complaint they took a poke at you and I'll throw 'em in the can." "Go ahead, Cairo." "Tell him you'll do it." "Then we'll swear out a complaint against you and he'll have the lot of us." "Get your hats." "Well, boys and girls, we put it over nicely!" "Go on, get your hats!" "Don't you know when you're bein' kidded?" "No, but that can wait till we get to the Hall." "Wake up, Dundy, you're being kidded!" "When I heard the buzzer, I said:" ""There's the police again." "They're getting to be a nuisance!" ""When you hear them, scream." ""Then we'll see how far we can string 'em till they tumble. "" "Stop it, Sam!" "How'd that cut on his head get there?" " Ask him." "Maybe he cut himself shaving." " The cut?" "No." "When we pretended to be struggling for the gun, I fell over the carpet." "I fell." "Horse feathers!" " Take him along, anyway, for packing' a gun." " Don't be a sap." "That gun was a plant, it's one of mine." "Too bad it's only a.25, or you could prove it was the gun that Miles and Thursby were shot with." " No, Sam!" "No!" " Then get him out of here!" " Get their names and addresses." " My name is Joel Cairo, Hotel Belvedere." "Miss O'Shaughnessy's address is my office." " Where do you live?" " Get him out!" "Take it easy!" "Is that all you want, Lieutenant?" "I think I'll be going now." "What's the hurry, Cairo?" "There is no hurry." "It's getting quite late, and..." "Tell him to leave the gun." "I hope you know what you're doin', Sam." "You're absolutely the wildest, most unpredictable person I ever knew." "Do you always carry on so highhanded?" "Well, you've had your talk with Cairo." "Now you can talk to me." "Yes, of course." "I'm listening." "I'm still listening." " Look at the time!" "I must be going." " No." "Not till you've told me all about it." "Am I a prisoner?" "Maybe the boy outside hasn't gone home yet." "Do you suppose he's still there?" "Likely." "You can start now." "You are the most insistent person." "And wild and unpredictable, huh?" "Say, what's this bird, this falcon, that everybody's all steamed up about?" "Supposing I wouldn't tell you anything about it?" "Would you do something wild and unpredictable?" "I might." "It's a black figure, as you know, smooth and shiny of a bird, a hawk or falcon, about that high." "Here." " What makes it so important?" " I don't know." "They wouldn't tell me." "They offered me £500 if I'd help get it away from the man who had it." "That was in Istanbul?" "Marmara." "Go ahead." "But that's all." "They promised me £500 if I'd help them, and I did." "Then we found out that Joel Cairo intended to desert us taking the falcon with him and leaving Floyd and me nothing so we did exactly that to him." "But, I wasn't any better off than before." "Floyd had no intention of keeping his promise about sharing equally." "I'd learned that when we got here." "What's the bird made of?" "Porcelain or black stone." "I don't know." "I only saw it once for a few minutes." "Floyd showed it to me when we first got hold of it." "You are a liar!" "I am." "I've always been a liar." "Don't brag about it." "Was there any truth at all in that yarn?" "Some." "Not very much." "Well, we got all night." "Coffee'll be ready soon." "We'll have a cup and try again." "I'm so tired so tired of lying and making up lies." "Not knowing what is a lie and what's the truth." "I want to talk to Mr. Cairo." "Joel Cairo." "Thanks." "Where is he?" "What?" "Where is he?" "Who?" "Cairo." "What do you think you're doin', kiddin' me?" "I'll tell you when I am." "New York, aren't you?" "Shove off." "You'll have to talk to me before you're through." "Some of you will, and you can tell the fat man I said so." "Keep asking' for it and you're gonna get it, plenty." "I told you to shove off." "Shove off!" "People lose teeth talkin' like that." "If you want to hang around, you'll be polite." "Luke." " Hello, Sam." " Hello, Luke." "Say, that was too bad about Miles." "Yeah." "It was a tough break." "I want to show you somethin'." "Why do you let these cheap gunmen hang around the lobby with their heaters bulging in their clothes?" "What do you want here?" "If you don't want anything, beat it and don't come back!" "I won't forget you guys." " What is it?" " I don't know." "I just spotted him." " Say, what about Miles?" " I'll see you, Luke." "603." " Yes, sir." "Good morning." "Good morning." "Let's go where we can talk." "Our private conversations have not been such that I'm anxious to continue them." "Forgive my speaking so bluntly but it is the truth." "Last night?" "What could I do?" "I had to." "I don't know where the bird is." "Neither do you." "She does." "How'll we get it if I don't play along?" "You always have a very smooth explanation ready, huh?" "Should I learn to stutter?" "Did Dundy take you to the station?" "For how long?" "Till a little while ago." " What'd they shake out of you?" " Shake out?" "Not one thing." "I adhered to the course you indicated earlier in your room but I wish you would have invented a more reasonable story." "I felt distinctly like an idiot repeating it." "Don't worry about the story's goofiness." "A sensible one would have had us all in the cooler." " You sure you didn't tell 'em anything?" " I did not." "You'll want sleep, if you've been standing up under a police grilling all night." "I'll see you later." "No, not yet." "Yes, I'll have him call you the minute he comes in." "That's the third time she's called this morning." "Miss O'Shaughnessy's in there." "Anything else?" "The DA's office called." "Bryan would like to see you." "And a Mr. Gutman called." "I said you weren't in." "He said, "Please tell him..." ""... the young man gave me his message, and that I phoned, and will phone again. "" "Gutman, huh?" "Thanks, darling." "Darling!" "Somebody's been in my apartment!" "It's all upside down!" "I changed as fast as I could and came over." "Did that boy follow you?" "No, angel." "I shook him off long before I ever went to your place." "It might have been Cairo." "He wasn't at the hotel last night." "He told me he'd been standing up under a police grilling." "I wonder." " You saw Joel this morning?" " Yeah." "Why?" "Because, true love, I need to keep in touch with all the loose ends of this dizzy affair if I'm ever to make heads or tails of it." "Now, we've got to find a new home for you." "I won't go back there!" "I got an idea." "Wait a minute." "What's your woman's intuition say about her?" "She's all right." "Maybe it's her own fault for the trouble but she's all right." "That's what I mean." "Are you strong enough to put her up for a bit?" " You mean at home?" " Yeah." " Is she in any danger, Sam?" " I think she is." "Gee, that'd scare Mom into a green hemorrhage." "I'll say she's a surprise witness you're keeping undercover." "You're a darling." "Brigid." "Effie has offered to put you up." "That's very kind." "Start now." "Go out the back entrance." "There's usually a cab parked by the alleyway." "Ride partway with her." "Be sure you're not followed." "You better change cabs a few times to be safe." "I'll call Mom." "There's time enough for that when you get back." "I'll call you later." "Hello." "This is Samuel Spade." "Say, my secretary tells me Mr. Bryan wants to see me." "Yeah." "Ask him what time's most convenient for him." "Spade." "S-p-a-d-e." "Hello, honey." "Yeah." "2:30." "All right." "Thanks." "Sam, forgive me." "Please forgive me." "I sent those policemen to your place." "I was mad, crazy with jealousy." "I phoned that if they went there they'd learn something about Miles' murder." " What made you think of that?" " I was mad, Sam." "I wanted to hurt you." " Did you tell 'em who you were?" " No." "Sam, dearest, I" "Where'd you phone from?" "The drugstore across from your place." "Better hurry home and think what to tell the police." "You'll hear from them." "By the way where were you the night Miles was murdered?" "Home." " I was." " No!" "But if that's your story, it's all right with me." "Now, you run along." "Hello." "Yeah, this is Spade." "Yes, Mr. Gutman, I got it." "I've been waitin' to hear from you." "Well, now?" "The sooner, the better." "Say 15 minutes." "Right." "12C." "12C to your left, sir." "Mr. Spade!" "How do you do, Mr. Gutman?" "You begin well, sir." "I distrust a man who says "when. "" "He's got to be careful not to drink too much because he's not to be trusted when he does." "Well, sir here's to plain speaking and clear understanding." "You're a close-mouthed man?" "No, I like to talk." "Better and better." "I distrust a close-mouthed man." "He generally picks the wrong time to talk and says the wrong things." "Talking's something you can't do judiciously unless you keep in practice." "Now, sir." "We'll talk, if you like." "I'll tell you right out." "I'm a man who likes talking to a man who likes to talk." "Swell!" "Will we talk about the black bird?" "You're the man for me, sir." "No beating about the bush." "Right to the point." "Let's talk about the black bird, by all means." "First, answer me a question." "Are you here as Miss O'Shaughnessy's representative?" "There's nothing certain either way." "It depends." "It depends on?" "Maybe it depends on Joel Cairo." "Maybe." "The question is which do you represent?" "It'll be one or the other." "I didn't say so." " Who else is it?" " There's me." "That's wonderful, sir, wonderful." "I do like a man who tells you right out he's lookin' out for himself." "Don't we all?" "I don't trust a man who says he's not." "Now, let's talk about the black bird." "Let's." "Mr. Spade, have you any conception of how much money can be got for that black bird?" "No." "Well, sir, if I told you, if I told you half, you'd call me a liar." "No, not even if I thought so." "But you tell me what it is, and I'll figure out the profit." "You mean, you don't know what that bird is?" "I know what it's supposed to look like and I know the value in human life you people put on it." "She didn't tell you what it is?" " Cairo didn't either?" " He offered me $10,000 for it." "$10,000!" "Dollars, mind you, not even pounds!" "Do they know what that bird is?" "What is your impression?" "There's not much to go by." "Cairo didn't say he did or he didn't." "She said she didn't but I took it for granted she was lying." "Not an injudicious thing to do." "If they don't know, I'm the only one in the whole wide sweet world who does." "Swell!" "When you've told me, that'll make two of us." "Mathematically correct, but I don't know for certain that I'm going to tell you." "Don't be foolish." "You know what it is." "I know where it is." "Well, sir, where is it?" "You see, I must tell you what I know, but you won't tell me what you know." "It's hardly equitable, sir." "No, no." "I don't think we can do business along those lines." "Well, think again, and think fast!" "I told that gunsel of yours you'd have to talk to me!" "You'll talk to me today, or you are through!" "Why are you wasting my time?" "I can get along without you!" "And another thing:" "Keep that gunsel out of my way while you decide." "I'll kill him, if you don't!" "Well, sir, I must say you have a most violent temper." "Think it over." "You've got till 5:00." "Then you're either in or out, for keeps!" " Who killed Thursby?" " I don't know." "But you could make an excellent guess." "My guess might be excellent or crummy but Mrs. Spade didn't raise children dippy enough to guess in front of a DA, an assistant DA and a stenographer." "Why not, if you've nothing to conceal?" "Everybody has something to conceal." "I'm a sworn officer of the law 24 hours a day and neither formality nor informality justifies you withholding the evidence of crime from me except on constitutional grounds." "You and the police have as much as accused me of being mixed up in the murders." "I've had trouble with both of you before, and as far as I can see my best chance of clearing myself of the trouble is by bringing in the murderers all tied up." "The only chance I have of catching them and bringing them in is by staying away from you because you'd only gum up the works." "You getting this or am I goin' too fast?" " No, sir." "I'm getting it all right." " Good work." "If you want to tell the board I'm obstructing justice and ask them to revoke my license, hop to it." "You tried it before and it didn't get you anything but a good laugh." "I don't want any more informal talks." "I've nothing to say to you, and I'm tired of being called things by every crackpot on the city payroll." "If you want to see me pinch me or subpoena me." "I'll come down with my lawyer." "I'll see you at the inquest, maybe!" "Come on." "He wants to see you." "I didn't expect you till 5:25." "I hope I haven't kept you waiting." "Keep on ridin' me they're gonna be pickin' iron out of your liver." "The cheaper the crook, the gaudier the patter, huh?" "Well, let's go." "Come on." "This'll put you in solid with your boss." "Come in, sir." "Thank you for coming." "Come in." "You shouldn't let him go around with these on him." "He might get himself hurt." "Well, what's this?" "A crippled newsy took 'em away from him." "I made him give 'em back." "By gad, sir, you're a chap worth knowing." "An amazing character." "Give me your hat." "Sit down." " I owe you an apology, sir." " Never mind that." "Let's talk about the black bird." "All right, sir, let's." "Let's." "This is going to be the most astounding thing you've ever heard of." "I say this knowing a man of your caliber and your profession must have known some astounding things in his time." "What do you know of the Order of the Hospital of Saint John of Jerusalem later known as the Knights of Rhodes?" " Crusaders or something, weren't they?" " Very good." "Sit down." "In 1539, these crusading Knights persuaded Emperor Charles V to give them the Island of Malta." "He made but one condition:" "That they pay him yearly the tribute of a falcon in acknowledgement that Malta was still under Spain." "Do you follow me?" "Have you any conception of the extreme the immeasurable wealth of the Order of that time?" "They were pretty well fixed." ""Pretty well" is putting it mildly." "They were rolling in wealth, sir." "For years they'd taken from the East nobody knows what spoils of gems precious metals, silks, ivory, sir." "We all know the Holy Wars to them were largely a matter of loot." "The Knights were profoundly grateful to the Emperor Charles for his generosity toward them." "They hit upon the thought of sending for his first year's tribute, not an insignificant live bird but a glorious golden falcon crusted from head to foot with the finest jewels in their coffers." "Well, sir..." " ... what do you think of that?" " I don't know." "These are facts, historical facts not schoolbook history, not Mr. Wells' history, but history, nevertheless." "They sent the foot-high jeweled bird to Charles in Spain." "They sent it in a galley commanded by a member of the Order." "It never reached Spain." "A famous admiral of buccaneers took the Knights' galley and the bird." "In 1713 it turned up in Sicily." "In 1840 it appeared in Paris." "It had, by that time, acquired a coat of black enamel so that it looked nothing more than a fairly interesting black statuette." "In that disguise, sir, it was, as you may say, kicked around Paris for over three score years by private owners too stupid to see what it was under the skin." "Then in 1923 a Greek dealer named Charilaos Konstantinides found it in an obscure shop." "No thickness of enamel could conceal value from his eyes." " You begin to believe me a little?" " I haven't said I didn't." "Well, sir, to hold it safe while pursuing his researches into its history Charilaos re-enameled the bird." "Despite this precaution, however, I got wind of his find." "If I'd only known a few days sooner." "I was in London when I heard." "I packed a bag, got on the boat train immediately." "On the train I read in the Times, that Charilaos's establishment had been burglarized and him murdered." "Sure enough, on arriving there I discovered the bird was gone." "That was 17 years ago." "Well, sir, it took me 17 years to locate that bird, but I did." "I wanted it!" "I'm a man not easily discouraged when I want something." "I traced it to the home of a Russian general one Kemidov, in an Istanbul suburb." "He didn't know a thing about it." "It was only a black enameled figure to him but his contrariness kept him from selling it to me when I made him an offer." "So I sent him some agents to get it." "Well, sir they got it and I haven't got it but I'm going to get it." "Your glass." "Then, the bird doesn't really belong to any of you, but to a General Kemidov?" "Well, sir, you might as well say it belonged to the King of Spain." "I don't see how you can honestly grant anyone else a clear title to it except by right of possession." "And now, sir before we start to talk prices, how soon can you or how soon are you willing to produce the falcon?" " A couple of days." " That is satisfactory." "Well, sir, here's to a fair bargain!" "Profits large enough for both of us!" "What's your idea of a fair bargain?" "I will give you $25,000 when you deliver the falcon to me and another $25,000 later on." "Or I will give you one quarter of what I realize on the falcon." "That would amount to a much greater sum." " How much greater?" " Who knows?" "Shall we say $100,000?" "Will you believe me if I name the probable minimum?" "Why not?" "What would you say to a quarter of a million?" "Then you think the dingus is worth a million?" "In your own words, why not?" " That's a lot of dough." " A lot of dough." "The minimum?" "What's the maximum?" "The maximum, I refuse to guess." "You'd think me crazy." "I don't know." "There's no telling how high it could go, sir." "That is the one and only truth about it." "Wilmer!" "Hello, Effie." "It's me." "Let me talk to Miss O'Shaughnessy." "She isn't there?" "What?" "She didn't show up?" "You get back to the office and wait there till I come or you hear from me." "Yeah, let's do something right for a change." "It started in the hold aft, in the rear basement." "What insurance was she carrying?" " Anybody burn?" " No." "Only the harbor watch was aboard." " Someone I know came" " What?" "Someone I know came aboard this afternoon." "I haven't seen her since." "I'm worried." "No reason to be, mister." "Everybody got off all right." "I wonder if you saw her." "She's kind of small, about 5-foot" "I couldn't tell you, mister." "But if she came aboard she got off all right." "Only the harbor watch was aboard when the fire started." "Now you know as much about it as I do, precious." "Maybe they went down to the ship." "Maybe they didn't." "The part about the bird is thrilling." "Or ridiculous." "You know..." "Falcon." "Lock that door." "Is he..." " Is he..." " Yeah." "He couldn't have come far with those holes in him." "Why couldn't he have stayed alive long enough to tell us something?" "Here, here, here, none of that now." "Come on." "You can't pass out on me now." "All right, Sam." "Do you really think..." " We've got it, angel, we've got it." " You're hurting me." "Answer the phone." "Hello." "Yes?" "Who?" "Oh, yes." "Where?" "Yes, yes." "Hello!" "Hello!" "Hello!" "It was Miss O'Shaughnessy!" "She wants you!" "She's in danger!" " Where is she?" " Burlingame, 26 Ancho." "Her voice, it was awful!" "Something happened before she could finish." "Go help her!" "You've got to go to her!" "He was helping her and they killed him..." "You've got to go, Sam!" "All right, I'll go!" "After I've gone, you phone the police." "Tell 'em how it happened, but don't say any names!" "I got the call and told you I had to go, but I didn't say where." "Forget about this." "Tell 'em how it happened, but without this." "Get that straight." "Everything happened exactly as it did but without the bundle, and I got the phone call, not you." "Yes, Sam." "Okay." "Shut this door and lock it and don't open it till the police come." "Do you know who he is?" "Yeah!" "Yeah, he's Captain Jacoby, master of the La Paloma." "You're a good man, sister!" " May I borrow your pencil?" " Sure." " Say, Frank?" " Hello, Mr. Spade." " You got plenty of gas?" " Sure thing." "Do you know where Ancho Street is in Burlingame?" "No, but we'll find her." "Well, 26 is the number and the sooner the better." "Keep your motor running." " Bum steer, Mr. Spade?" " Yeah." "Let's get to a phone booth." "Hello, Mrs. Perine?" "Is Effie there?" "Yes, please." "Hello, precious!" "What's the good news?" "No, no." "It was a bum steer." "Are you sure that was her voice?" "Well, it was hooey." "Everything go all right?" "Nothing said about the bundle, huh?" "That's swell." "Did they take you down to the Hall?" "All right, precious." "You'd better hit the hay and get a good night's rest." "You sound all in." "No." "Save it till tomorrow." "I'm going on home." " Thanks." "Good night, Frank." " Good night, Mr. Spade." "I've been hiding in a doorway up the street." "I thought you'd never come." "Can you make it or shall I carry you?" "I'll be all right as soon as I can get some place where I can lie down." "Well, we're all here." "Let's come in and sit down and be comfortable and talk." "Sure." " Get away!" "You're not gonna frisk me." " Stand still!" "Shut up!" "Take your paws off me or I'll make you use that gun." "Ask your boss if he wants me shot up before we talk." "Never mind, Wilmer." "You certainly are a most headstrong individual." "Well, let's be seated." "Are you ready to make the first payment and take the falcon off my hands?" "Well, sir, as to that..." "As to that..." "$10,000?" "We were talkin' about a lot more money than this." "Yes, sir, we were." "But this is genuine coin of the realm." "With a dollar of this you can buy $10 of talk." "There are more of us to be taken care of now." "That may be, but I've got the falcon!" "I shouldn't think it necessary to remind you that you may have the falcon, but we certainly have you." "I'm trying not to let that worry me." "We'll get back to the money later on." "There's something else to be discussed first." "We've got to have a fall guy." "The police need a victim, somebody they can pin those three murders on." "Three?" "There's only two, because Thursby certainly killed your partner." "Only two then." "What's the difference?" "We have to give the police" "Come, Mr. Spade, you can't expect us to believe at this late date that you're afraid of the police, or that you're not quite able to handle" "I'm in this up to my neck." "I've got to find somebody, a victim when the time comes." "If I don't, I'll be it." "Let's give them the gunsel." "He actually did shoot Thursby and Jacoby, didn't he?" "Anyway, he's made to order for the part." "Look at him!" "Let's give him to them." "By gad, sir, you are a character." "That you are!" "There's never any telling what you'll say or do next but it's bound to be astonishing." "It's our best bet." "With him in their hands" "But, my dear man, can't you see that if I even for a moment thought of doing such a thing..." "That's ridiculous." "I feel towards Wilmer here just exactly as if he were my own son." "Really, I do." "But if I even for a moment thought of doing what you propose what in the world would keep Wilmer from telling the police every last detail about the falcon and all" "Let him talk his head off." "I'll guarantee you nobody'll do anything about it." "Well, what do you think of this, Wilmer?" "Mighty funny, eh?" "Mighty funny." "How do you feel now?" "Any better, precious?" "Much better." "But I'm frightened." "Don't be." "Nothing very bad's going to happen here." "Do you want a drink, angel?" "Be careful, Sam." "Well?" "If you're really serious, the least we can do in common politeness is to hear you out." "Now, how would you be able to fix it so that Wilmer couldn't do us any harm?" "I can show Bryan, our DA, that if he goes around tryin' to collect everybody he'll have a tangled case but if he sticks to Wilmer here, he can get a conviction standing on his head." "Get up on your feet." "I've taken all the riding from you I'm gonna take." "Get up and shoot it out!" "Young Wild West!" "You should tell him shooting' me before you get the falcon will be bad for business." "Now, now, Wilmer." "We can't have any of that." "You shouldn't attach such importance to these things." "Tell him to lay off me then." "Now, Wilmer..." "Your plan is, not at all satisfactory, sir." "Let's not say anything more about it." "All right." "I've got another suggestion." "Maybe not as good as the first, but it's better than nothing." "Want to hear it?" "Most assuredly." "Give them Cairo." "Well, by gad, sir" "Suppose we give them you or Miss O'Shaughnessy?" "You want the falcon." "I've got it." "The fall guy's part of the price I'm asking." "As for Miss O'Shaughnessy if you think she can be rigged for the part I'm willing to discuss it with you." "You seem to forget that you are not in a position to insist upon anything." "Now, come, gentlemen." "Let's keep our discussion on a friendly basis." "There certainly is something in what Mr. Cairo said..." "If you kill me, how are you gonna get the bird?" "If I know you can't afford to kill me, how'll you scare me into giving it to you?" "Sir, there are other means of persuasion besides killing and threatening to kill." "Yes, that's..." "That's true." "But none of them are any good unless the threat of death is behind them." "You see what I mean?" "If you start something, I'll make it a matter of your having to kill me or call it off." "That's an attitude, sir, that calls for the most delicate judgement on both sides." "Because, as you know, in the heat of action men are likely to forget where their best interests lie and let their emotions carry them away." "And the trick from my angle is to make my play strong enough to tie you up, not make you mad enough to bump me off against your better judgement." "By gad, sir, you are a character." "They're selling you out, sonny." "I hope you're not influenced by the guns these pocket-edition desperadoes are waving around." "Because I've practiced taking guns away from these boys before so we'll have no trouble there." " Wilmer, here" " All right." "Wilmer!" "There's our fall guy." "Either say yes right now or I'll turn the falcon and all of you in." "I don't like that, sir." "Well, you won't like it." "Well?" "You can have him." "I won't be able to get the falcon till daylight, maybe later." "It'd be best for us all if we didn't leave each other's sight until our business has been transacted." "You have the envelope?" "Miss O'Shaughnessy has it." "Hang on to it." "We won't lose sight of each other." "The dingus'll be brought to us here." "Excellent, sir, excellent!" "Then in exchange for the $10,000 and Wilmer you'll give us the falcon and an hour or two of grace." "Now, let's get the details fixed, first." "Why did he shoot Thursby and why, where and how did he shoot Captain Jacoby?" "I've got to know all that happened so the parts that don't fit are covered up." "I shall be candid with you, sir." "Thursby was Miss O'Shaughnessy's ally." "We believed that disposing of him as we did would cause Miss O'Shaughnessy to stop and think that it would be best to patch up her differences with us regarding the falcon." "You didn't try to make a deal before giving him the works?" "We did." "Yes, sir." "We most certainly did." "I talked to him myself that very night, but I could do nothing with him." "He was quite determinedly loyal to Miss O'Shaughnessy." "So Wilmer followed him back to the hotel and did what he did." "That sounds all right." "Now, Jacoby." "Captain Jacoby's death was entirely Miss O'Shaughnessy's fault." "Tell me what happened." "Cairo, as you must have surmised, contacted me after he left police headquarters last night or morning." "He recognized the mutual advantage of pooling forces." "Mr. Cairo is a man of nice judgement." "The Paloma was his thought." "He read of its arrival in the papers and remembered he had heard in Hong Kong that Jacoby and Miss O'Shaughnessy were seen together..." "Well, sir, he saw that notice and putting two and two together guessed the truth." "She had given the bird to Jacoby to bring here for her." "And at that juncture you decided to slip me a Mickey." "There's no place for you in our plan, sir." "So we decided to spare ourselves any possible embarrassment." "Mr. Cairo and Wilmer and I went to call on Captain Jacoby." "We were lucky enough to arrive while Miss O'Shaughnessy was there." "In many ways, the conference was difficult, but we finally persuaded Miss O'Shaughnessy to come to terms, or so we thought." "We then left the boat and set out for my hotel where I was to pay Miss O'Shaughnessy and receive the bird." "Well, sir, we mere men should have known better." "En route, she, Captain Jacoby and the falcon slipped completely through our fingers." "It was neatly done, sir." "Indeed, it was." "You touched off the boat before you left?" "No, not intentionally." "Though, we, or Wilmer at least, were responsible for the fire." "While the rest of us were talking in the cabin, Wilmer went about the boat trying to find the falcon." "No doubt, he was careless with matches." "And how about the shooting?" "We caught up with Miss O'Shaughnessy and Jacoby at her apartment." "I sent Wilmer downstairs to cover the fire escape before ringing the bell." "And, sure enough, while she was asking us who we were through the door and we were telling her, we heard a window go up." "Wilmer shot Jacoby as he was coming down the fire escape shot him more than once, but Jacoby was too tough to fall or drop the falcon." "He climbed down the rest of the way, knocked Wilmer over, and ran off." "We persuaded, that is the word, sir, we persuaded Miss O'Shaughnessy to tell us where she told Captain Jacoby to take the falcon." "We further persuaded her to phone your office in an attempt to draw you away, before Jacoby got there but unfortunately for us it had taken us too long to persuade Miss O'Shaughnessy." "You had the falcon before we could reach you." "Wilmer, I'm sorry to lose you, but I want you to know I couldn't be fonder of you if you were my own son." "Well, if you lose a son, it's possible to get another." "There's only one Maltese Falcon." "When you're young, you simply don't understand these things." "How about some coffee?" "Put the pot on, will you?" "I don't like to leave our guests." "Surely." "Just a moment, my dear." "Hadn't you better leave the envelope in here?" " Sit on it, if you're afraid of losing it." " You misunderstand me." "It's not that." "But business should be transacted in a businesslike manner." "For instance, there are only nine bills here now." "There were 10 when I handed them to you, as you very well know." "Well?" "I want to know about this." "You palmed it." " I palmed it?" " Yes." "Do you want to say so, or stand for a frisk?" "You'll admit it, or I'll search you." "There's no third way." "I believe you would." "I really do." "You're a character, if you don't mind my saying so." "You palmed it." "Yes, sir, that I did." "I must have my little joke now and then." "I was curious to know what you'd do in a situation like this." "I must say you passed the test with flying colors." "That's something I'd expect from someone Wilmer's age." "This will soon be yours." "You might as well take it." "I ought to have more than $10,000." "You understand this is the first payment." "Later." "Oh, yes." "Later you'll give me millions, but how's about $15,000 now?" "Frankly and candidly, upon my word of honor as a gentleman $10,000 is all the money I can raise." "But you didn't say positively." "Positively." "I'd like to give you a word of advice." "Go ahead." "You'll give her some money but if you don't give her what she thinks she should have, be careful." "Dangerous?" "Very." " How's the coffee coming, angel?" " In a few minutes." "It's almost daylight, Mr. Spade." "Can you start getting it now?" "I guess so." "Hello." "Hello, precious." "I'm sorry to get you up so early." "Now, listen carefully." "Here's the plot:" "In the Holland box, at the post office there's an envelope with my scrawl." "In that envelope, there's a parcel-room check for the bundle we got yesterday." "Now, get that bundle and bring it here, p. d.q." "That's a good girl." "Now, hustle." "Good-bye." "Thanks, lady." "Sorry to spoil your day of rest." "Not the first one you've spoiled." "Anything else?" "No." "No, thanks." "Bye-bye, then." "There you are." "Now, after 17 years!" "It is it." "But we'll make sure." "Fake." "It's a phony!" "It's lead!" "It's lead!" "It's a fake!" "You've had your little joke." "Now, tell us about it." "No, Sam!" "No!" "That's the one I got from Kemidov." "I swear it!" "You." "It's you who bungled it." "You and your stupid attempt to buy it!" "Kemidov found out how valuable it was!" "No wonder we had such an easy time stealing it!" "You... you imbecile!" "You bloated idiot!" "You stupid fathead, you!" "Yes, it's the Russian's hand." "There's no doubt about it." "What do you suggest we stand here, shed tears and call each other names or shall we go to Istanbul?" "Are you going?" "Seventeen years I've wanted that item, and have been trying to get it." "If we must spend another year on the quest well, sir, it will be an additional expenditure in time of only five and fifteen-seventeenths percent." "I'm going with you." "Wilmer!" "A swell lot of thieves." "We've little to boast about, but the world hasn't come to an end just because we've run into a setback." " I must ask for that envelope." " I held up my end." "You got your dingus." "It's your hard luck it wasn't what you wanted." "Now, come, sir, we've all failed and there's no reason for expecting any of us to bear the whole brunt." "In short, sir, I must ask you for my $10,000." "This'll take care of my time and expenses." "Now, sir, we'll say goodbye to you unless you care to undertake the Istanbul expedition with us." "You don't?" "Frankly, sir, I'd like to have you along." "You're a man of nice judgement and many resources." "Since there's no alternative, you'll manage the police without a fall guy." "I'll make out all right." "Well, sir, the shortest farewells are the best." "Adieu." "And to you, Miss O'Shaughnessy, I leave the rara avis on the table there as a little memento." "Hello." "Sergeant Polhaus there?" "Yeah." "Put him on." "This is Sam Spade." "Hello." "Tom?" "Now, listen." "I've got something for you." "Here it is:" "Jacoby and Thursby were killed by a kid named Wilmer Cook." "Yeah." "He's about 20 years old, 5-foot-6, wearing a gray overcoat." "He's working for a man named Kasper Gutman." "You can't miss Gutman." "He must weigh 300 pounds." "That fellow Cairo's in with him, too." "They just left for the Alexandria Hotel." "You'll have to move fast." "They're blowing town." "Watch yourself when you go up against the kid." "Yes, that's right." "Very." "Well, good luck, Tom." "They'll talk when they're nailed about us." "We only have minutes to get set for the police." "Give me all of it fast!" "When you first came to me, why did you want Thursby shadowed?" "I thought he betrayed me." "I wanted to find out." "A lie!" "You knew you had Thursby hooked!" "You wanted to kill him before Jacoby came with the loot so you wouldn't have to split it with him." "Right?" "If he knew someone was following him, he'd be frightened away." "Miles wasn't clumsy enough to be spotted the first night." "You told Thursby he was being followed." "I told him." "I told him." "Yes, but please believe me." "I wouldn't have if I thought Floyd would kill him." "If you thought he wouldn't kill Miles, you were right." "Miles hadn't many brains, but too much experience as a detective to be caught by a man he was shadowing up a blind alley with his gun and his overcoat buttoned." "But he'd have gone up there with you, angel." "He was just dumb enough for that." "He'd have looked you up and down, licked his lips and gone grinning from ear to ear." "You could have stood as close to him as you liked and shot him with a gun you got from Thursby that night." " Don't say that!" " The police'll be here any minute!" "Talk!" "Why do you accuse me" "It's not the time for that schoolgirl act!" "We're both sitting under the gallows!" "Now, why did you shoot Miles?" "I didn't mean to at first, really, I didn't." "But when I found out that Floyd couldn't be frightened..." "I can't look at you and tell you this!" "You thought Thursby would tackle Miles and one would go down." "If Thursby died, you were rid of him." "If it was Miles, you'd see Thursby was caught." " Right?" " Something like that." "When Thursby wouldn't tackle him you took his gun and did it yourself, right?" "When you heard Thursby was shot, you knew Gutman was here!" "You knew you needed another protector somebody to fill Thursby's boots, so you came back to me." "Yes!" "Sweetheart, it wasn't only that!" "I'd have come back to you sooner or later." "From the very first instant I saw you, I knew." "Well, if you get a good break, you'll be out of Tehachapi in 20 years and you can come back to me then." "I hope they don't hang you, precious, by that sweet neck." " You're not" " Yes, angel, I'm gonna send you over." "The chances are you'll get off with life." "If you're a good girl, you'll be out in 20 years." "I'll be waiting for you." "If they hang you, I'll always remember you." "Don't, Sam!" "Don't say that, even in fun!" "I was frightened for a minute." "I really thought..." "You do such wild and unpredictable things." "Now, don't be silly." "You're taking the fall." "You've been playing with me just pretending you cared to trap me like this." "You didn't care at all!" "You don't love me!" "I won't play the sap for you!" "You know it's not like that!" "You never played square with me since I've known you!" "You know in your heart that in spite of anything I've done, I love you." "I don't care who loves who!" "I won't play the sap!" "I won't walk in Thursby's, and I don't know how many others' footsteps!" "You killed Miles and you're going over for it." "How can you do this to me, Sam?" "Surely, Mr. Archer wasn't as much to you as..." "Listen." "This won't do any good." "You'll never understand me, but I'll try once and then give it up." "When a man's partner is killed, he's supposed to do something." "It makes no difference what you thought of him." "He was your partner, and you're supposed to do something about it and it happens we're in the detective business." "Well, when one of your organization gets killed, it's it's bad business to let the killer get away with it bad all around, bad for every detective everywhere." "You don't expect me to think that these are sufficient reasons for sending me" "Wait'll I'm through." "Then, you can talk." "I've no earthly reason to think I can trust you." "If I do this and get away with it, you'll have something on me that you can use whenever you want to." "Since I've got something on you I couldn't be sure that you wouldn't put a hole in me someday." "All those are on one side." "Maybe some of them are unimportant." "I won't argue about that." "But look at the number of them." "What have we got on the other side?" "All we've got is that maybe you love me and maybe I love you." "You know whether you love me or not." "Maybe I do." "I'll have some rotten nights after I've sent you over, but that'll pass." "If all I've said doesn't mean anything to you then forget it and we'll make it just this:" "I won't, because all of me wants to regardless of consequences and because you've counted on it the same as you counted on it with all the others." "Would you have done this if the falcon were real and you got your money?" "Don't be too sure I'm as crooked as I'm supposed to be." "That sort of reputation might be good business bringing high-priced jobs and making it easier to deal with the enemy but a lot more money would have been one more item on your side of the scales." "If you'd loved me, you wouldn't have needed any more on that side." "Come in." "Hello, Tom." "Got 'em?" "Got 'em." "Swell!" "Here's another one for you." "She killed Miles." "Oh, and I've got some exhibits:" "the boy's guns, one of Cairo's and a $1,000 bill I was supposed to be bribed with and this black statuette here that all the fuss was about." "What's the matter with your playmate?" "He looks brokenhearted." "I bet when he heard Gutman's story, he thought he had me." "Cut it out, Sam." "Well, shall we be getting down to the Hall?" "It's heavy." "What is it?" "The stuff that dreams are made of." "English subtitles conformed by SOFTITLER"

"Well, the Pegasus is a fast, new steamer." "You'll be sure of your cargo arriving on time, Mr Norsworthy." "I'm looking for the best price." "27 shillings a ton?" "I fear you may look in vain." "You'd rather sail a half-empty ship, eh?" "Oh, she doesn't go on the berth till Monday." "There are other customers." "Indeed." "And other ships." "Right, lower her away." "Hand to below." "Easy, easy, easy." "Mr Norsworthy." "Is the Beech Navigation Company to be favoured with your order, sir?" "There is still room on the Kingfisher for another 400 tons." "I am aware of it, Mr Beech." "She sails next week and at twenty six and nine pence I'll not be short of custom." " Twenty six and nine, you say?" " That's what I quoted, wasn't it?" " Aye." " So you'll come to our desk?" "Aye." "All trading will now cease for the remainder of this day in respectful memory of the late Mr Jack Frazer, our former president." "A true gentlemen if ever there was, men." "A man of integrity." "His death is a loss for the whole shipping world." "A hard man, you can't deny that." "But he was always true to his word." "Spare us the eulogies, Joe." "We had the funeral oration in church." "Your sister's inherited the Frazer Line, but who's going to run it?" "Well, when me sister gets back from South America she will appoint a manager." "You'll need a good man to step into Mr Frazer's shoes." "What'll you do in the meantime?" "It's barely a concern of mine but" "Mr Dunwoody can be relied upon, he's served the company many years." "A clerk is hardly empowered to speak for his masters." "Not in a matter like this." "Matter?" "What matter's that?" "Well..." "Your wife is waiting outside in the carriage, Mr Crampton." " I..." "I'm just coming." " Mr Crampton's coat please, Alice." "It's much to be regretted that Jack Frazer didn't make better provision for the future." " Good day to you both." " Good day, Joe," " and thanks very much for coming." " Bye-bye." "Sanctimonious hypocrite." "He drove the Brazil rate down to 27 shillings this morning." "Well, when a man's pushed he can't afford to sail an empty ship." "Nor can anyone, but what happened?" "Beech comes in next with an offer of twenty six shillings and nine pence." "We're just cutting each other's throats." "Too many steamers, not enough freight." "Now, if we all get together," "Crampton's line, my own, the Beech Navigation Company," "Frazer's and form a conference." "Fix a rate amongst yourselves." "And all undertake not to go below it." "It has already been agreed in principle by every line except one." "One's enough." "One company undercutting your conference rate..." "No, the only company standing out is Frazer's." "Because Frazer was never approached on the matter." "How's that?" "We all thought to wait till he was over his illness." "So, who do we approach now, Onedin?" "Mr Dunwoody?" "There is only your carriage left outside now, Mr Bell." "I'll not overstay my welcome." "Goodbye, Mrs Onedin, and ta ever so much." "I'll see you out, Sam." "If we form this conference, we stay afloat." "If not, we sink." "But some will sink faster than others." "Aye." "Well, it's to be thought on." "Good day, Sam." "Thanks very much for all your help." "Conference." "What's that?" "Well, it's an association of the shipping lines in the South American trade." "I think it's a..." "It's a splendid notion." "Well, if it's such a good idea why not just agree to it?" "Because, Sarah, I am not in charge of the Frazer Line." " I don't know who is, then." " Hmm?" "Clear away, Alice." "With Elizabeth away, there's no one else." "And we do have an interest in the company." "15% of the shares does not qualify..." "More than any other shareholder in Liverpool at present." "It gives you the right." "But I've a perfectly satisfactory business of me own." "Chandlery is not to be compared with biggest dockyard on Merseyside, and a shipping line to match." "But it's Elizabeth's, not mine." "Is Elizabeth going to know what's best?" "As if she'll want to run the company herself anyway." "With Frazer's income to enjoy, Elizabeth will settle for a liveried coachman and a row of new bonnets, if she's got someone she can rely upon to make all that possible." " Oh, that girl." " Oh, Alice." "Oh, get out." " Do stop snivelling, Alice." "And what about my political duties?" "Mr Gladstone can manage the affairs of the nation without you, Robert." "There is no call for sarcasm, Sarah, and I do have me constituents to think on." "You have your family to think on." " Fraze rs are not family." " They could be." "You make yourself indispensable here and within a year or two at most" "Elizabeth will make you her partner." "She's got to have someone, who better than her own brother." "No, Sarah, I will do whatever I can until the House resumes." " But after that..." " You owe it to your son." "Goodbye, Mrs Frazer." "I am sorry that your voyage didn't prove more fruitful." "It was an education, Mr Harvey." "If you would care to call on me tomorrow," "I may have something that might interest you." "What might that be, ma'am?" "At four of the clock, Mr Harvey." "Please be punctual." "Elizabeth." " Welcome home." " I had no idea you were going to be here to greet me." " Welcome home, Elizabeth." " Thank you, Sarah." "The sea suits you." "And why not." "The new owner of the Frazer Line." "Home, Harris." "Goodbye, Mr Onedin." "Hello, sir." "Oh, I am glad to see you back, madam." "Hello, Alice." "Looking so well, too." "After all that time at sea, too." "It's lovely to be home again." "The cook's been worrying herself silly about what to give you for lunch first day back." "She kept changing her mind." "And then sending to Mr Dunwoody to find out when the ship was due." "Stop chattering, Alice, and take Mrs Frazer's things upstairs." "Yes, Mrs Onedin." "I have had a fire going in the bedroom, too." "And it's been properly aired every week." "I expect you'll be glad to sleep in your bed again tonight." "Come along, Alice." " Excuse me, madam." " Thank you very much, Alice." "Well, she seems pleased to see me." "Yes, I was in two minds about keeping her on." "Well, I've been paying out good money to servants and there's none to serve." "How's William?" "I wrote to him from Tenerife." " Yes, he told me." " Oh?" "He spent the last few days of his holidays here with us." "No." "Did he attend the funeral?" "No." "Under the circumstances we thought it best, you not being there and all." "It all went off very smoothly." "Good." "Most of the owners turned out." "And they closed the exchange early that day as a token." "Yes." "I thought it was a fine gesture." "Well, I suppose now Mr Hickson will want to see me about the will." "Oh, yes, and there are some matters of business to discuss with you, too." "It's been a very, very difficult time, Elizabeth." "But I think I can safely say that we're weathering the storm." " We?" " We've joined a conference of the South American trade." "All the shipping lines are working at the same fixed rate." "It comes into being officially..." "Well, it came into being officially yesterday, as a matter of fact." "Not that you have anything to do about it, except sign some papers." "No, the real point of what I want to make is that we must find you a good manager." "Conference?" "Steamer Alliance of South America." "32 shillings a ton they fixed, the shippers won't like that." "Sounds low enough to me." "You'd be surprised how the rates have been falling." "Steamers down to twenty six and nine at one time." "And our rates, how are they holding?" "Oh, not too badly, sir." "There's plenty of bulk cargo for sailing vessels." "You did right to stick to sails." " Good grief." " Sir?" " Me daughter's coming." " Miss Charlotte?" ""If I may presume on your paternal affection for your daughter," ""I propose bringing her to see you on the 18th of this month." ""We shall will come by railway." ""I am, sir, your obedient servant and governess to your daughter."" "Governess?" ""Leticia Gaunt."" "Miss." "Well, Miss Moffett will soon put the house to right, sir." "You don't think I kept on the housekeeper while I was away?" "I can send a telegraph, eh?" "No need for them to come all the way up here." "I can go down to Derby and see them." " Is that where they are, sir, Derby?" " Aye." "She's looked after by a Miss Mullen, one of Sarah's aunts." "Be nice to see Miss Charlotte again, sir." "How old is she now?" "Nine?" "Must be all of that since her mother died." "It'll be good enough to see me daughter, but it's this governess I don't like the sound of." "Leticia Gaunt." " When is the 18th?" " That's tomorrow, sir." "Hmm." "Oh!" " Oh, good morning, Elizabeth." " Good morning, Robert." " Were you looking for something?" " Not particularly." "Just trying to find out what's been happening in my absence." "What did you want?" "Well, I do have some work to do here, you know." "Oh, yes." "I mustn't keep you from that, must I?" "Well, while you are here, Elizabeth, you could sign these papers relating to the South American Conference." "It's not valid until you have." "I was thinking about what you said about getting a manager." "Well, of course I can't stay here forever, you know." "I should be on my way to Westminster now." "Ah, here it is." "What do you think about Mr Dunwoody?" "Well, of course he's got the experience, but it would mean finding you a new chief clerk." " Come in." "Oh, good morning, Mr Onedin." "You ought to be getting down to the exchange." "Well, I'm just coming, Dunwoody." "Oh, good morning, Mrs Frazer." " Mr Dunwoody." " Elizabeth?" "I'll not detain you." " Would you just sign this paper?" " Oh, not now, Robert." " It won't take a minute." " Alice is waiting to do my hair." "And she was wondering if she ought to get a manager." "Well, she does have a way with the merchants, and not a bad head for business." "When it's not full of good-looking young men." "Now, about these demurrage charges." "Well, Mr Onedin, I do think we ought to make our way to the exchange." "Ever since they started this Conference, business has been slack." "Very slack." "The shippers are biding their time, it's the same for everyone." "Oh, it's not, sir." "Just for Frazer's." "Yep." "May I come in, sir?" "The front door is open." "Yeah, come in." " What time is it?" " Getting on for 3:00, sir." "Oh, the train's due at quarter to." "Anything I can do, sir?" "Aye, uh, close those windows, will you?" "We finished discharging the Charlotte Rhodes." "There's no cargo to take on till tomorrow." "Is there anything I can do while you are with your daughter, sir?" "Well, I thought I'd take her down to the quayside." "Show her some of the ships." "Eh?" "Hey, maybe even take her sailing." "She'd like that, eh?" "Perhaps, but I can't rightly see a governess taking to it, sir." "I mean, she might hate the sea." "Yes, I expect she would be a little fatigued after the journey." "I'm sure she'd be very pleased to stay here, with you." "With me, sir?" "It would be very ill-mannered to leave an old maid on her own." " Oh, now, Mr Onedin..." " Oh, now, come on, you did offer." "Ah, but I was thinking of business," "I mean, one us ought to be on the exchange." "Well, business can wait, eh?" "Well, I'd be no company for a young lady's governess, sir." "What do I do?" "Keep her company." "Make conversation." "Who?" "Me, sir?" "With a governess?" "Papa?" "Here." "Quick!" "Give us a hand." " Papa?" " Charlotte." "Well, you have grown a bit." "Charlotte?" "Oh, I am sorry, sir." "I was paying the cabman." "Well, you should have knocked, even if the door was open." "You shouldn't just walk in like that." "I have no influence over her at all, sir." "I am supposed to be her governess." "Isn't it awful?" "Oh, I'm pleased to meet you." "My name's Letty Gaunt." "Well, we've always given you good service." "Oh, aye." "And our ship sails next week." "I've 500 tons of textiles in the warehouse." "I can start loading now, if you make a fair price." "If not, the Crampton ship sails in a fortnight." "I shall just have to wait till then." "Well, Crampton's price is the same as ours, we're all in the conference." "I don't see how Frazer's can be." "Mrs Frazer only returned from South America yesterday." "Ah, yes, but even so, Mr Norsworthy." "I am acting on my sister's behalf, Mr Norsworthy, and we're all fully committed to the Conference." "Now, do I have the pleasure of doing business with you?" "At 32 shillings a ton?" "Well, that is the Conference rate, sir." "Not any..." "Not any small discount?" "When Frazer's give their word, sir, they keep it." "Oh, aye." "Excuse me." "Joe?" " When does your ship sail?" " Fortnight tomorrow." "Have you room for 500 tons of textile?" "I'll have to see, it's very tight." "We might be able to accommodate some of it." "When is our next sailing?" "In six weeks time, when the Pegasus gets back." "And so far no orders for her at all." "So the porter says, "All aboard" and we still don't know where we're going." "So what does Miss Onedin do then, if you please?" "She goes up and asks the driver." "He should know." " London, says he." " London?" "So you see, we would have taken the wrong train." "What with her remembering I'd left the luncheon basket in Miss Mullen's carriage, and picking up the tickets when I dropped them on the platform, goodness only knows how I'd have managed without her." "Well, how long have you been a governess then, eh?" "Well, that's a good question." "I was taken on by Miss Mullen's housekeeper to do some needlework." "You know, mending sheets and curtains, like." "Charlotte here used to help me." "And then, one day Miss Mullen asks me how were her Latin and Greek were advancing." "Latin and Greek?" "Yes, it seems that she thought the child should have a governess, and seeing me about the house thought she'd engaged one." "Hmm." "Yes, I am afraid Miss Mullen is a bit like that." "Well, naturally I packed my bags at once." "And then madam here goes into one of her tantrums." "And to keep her quiet, I'm told to be her governess." "And does madam often go into tantrums, eh?" " Sometimes I do." " Not for long, 'cause I'd give her a good slap." "But then she slaps me back, and the next thing you know we're rolling on the floor in fits of laughter." "I'm afraid we laugh quite immoderately at times." "Miss Mullen's often complaining of the fact." " Poor Miss Mullen." " Aye." "Poor Miss Mullen." "Well, Miss Onedin, how would you like to go down to the quay and explore one of your father's ships, eh?" " Oh, may I?" " Aye." "Did anyone ever tell you that you were named after one of them?" "And, as it happens, she is in the harbour right this moment." " Captain Baines." " Sir." "Introduce Charlotte to her elder sister." "Aye-aye, sir." " Come on, young lady." " Can I go down into the hold?" "Miss Gaunt and I'll follow you soon, eh?" "I tell you, you shall go below deck..." "I confess you're not at all what I expected." " More's the pity." " I'm not sorry." "Well, you should be." "I'm no more suited to educate your daughter than Miss Mullen is to bring her up." "You're going to have to make some new arrangements, Mr Onedin." "Charlotte can't possibly stay where she is any longer." "Is something wrong, Robert?" "No, no, no." "It's just a few business worries, that's all." "Frazer business worries?" "Oh, nothing that need alarm you, Elizabeth." "Well, I think I will just get along down to the shipping club." "You've got to keep your ear to the ground these days." "Excuse me, madam." "There's a Mr Harvey here." "He says he's expected." "Oh, ask him to come in, and bring some tea, will you?" " Harvey?" " Matt Harvey." "Mate on the Alexandra." "Elizabeth, is this quite proper?" "I'll be mistress in my own house, Robert, if nowhere else." "Mr Harvey, madam." "Thank you." "Yes, well, I'll just get down to the shipping club." " Good afternoon." " You wanted to see me, ma'am." "You don't have to stand there like a footman waiting for orders and you don't have to call me ma'am." "Sit down." "Would you like some tea?" " Not particularly." " Oh, what a shame." " Don't let me stop you, though." " No, you won't, Mr Harvey." "My daughter'll have no need of Latin and Greek." "You taught her to sew, read, write." "There's more to education than that, Mr Onedin." "Well, then let her go to school." "There is no school within 10 miles." "Miss Mullen seems to think that you are fit enough to have charge of her schooling." "Miss Mullen is totally indifferent to Charlotte's schooling." "Indeed, Miss Mullen is totally indifferent to Charlotte." "I see." "I'm sure you make up in affection anything denied to her" " by this Miss Mullen." " Well, I hope so." "And she returns it." "Now, that's plain to see." "Yes." "She is beginning to regard me as her mother." "That's why I feel compelled to start looking for another situation." "Well, why?" "Because I'm growing altogether too fond of her, you silly man." "Oh, I'm so sorry." "Well, we better go on and join them, eh?" "We can talk about it later." "I never lack employment because I can work both types of ships." "Once I'd got my mate certificate, I put it in my pocket and spent two years as an engine hand on steamers." ""Floating kettles", Captain Baines calls them." "Who wants to end up like Captain Baines?" "You told me coming back from South America you spent six months as a shipping clerk." "That was just to get the introductions I needed to work on the steamers." " Perhaps you should have stayed there." " As a clerk?" "Well, sure you would have done if they'd paid you enough." " But I'm seaman, Mrs Frazer." " Then more fool you." "Because there is much more money to be made on land." " I dare say there is, but I'm seaman." " Captain Baines is a seaman." "But a man who pockets his mate's certificate for sailing ships to sweat it out in an engine room isn't a seaman." "He's just ambitious." "No, thank you." "What did you ask me here for, Mrs Frazer?" "To offer you a job in the shipping office, till you're ready to take over from Mr Dunwoody as chief clerk." "Mr Dunwoody is going to be my manager for a time." "Until you are ready to take over that job, too." "I think perhaps I will have a cup of tea now." "Oh, it's stone cold now." "But there is some whisky over there on that table." "It's evident I'll have to have someone to run the business for me one day." " Well, you've made an odd choice." " At least you are my choice." "I've had quite enough of wise, old men and patronising elder brothers." "Besides, I saw enough of you for three months on the Alexandra, to know what you're made of." "And?" "You are clever, ambitious, prepared to take risks, nobody's servant and arrogant to the point of insolence." "Well, you could at least consider it." " Very well, ma'am." " And don't call me ma'am." "Well, I would have to as a clerk in your shipping office." "Only in public." "And we'd meet at other times?" "I hope so, if we are going to build this company together." "I don't quite know how to put this, Mrs Frazer." "But?" "You are sure that it's just as an asset to the business that you want me." " How dare you, Mr Harvey." " I need to know, Mrs Frazer." "I take it after that the offer's withdrawn?" "Only if you choose to misinterpret it." "Very well, I will think about it then." "This was my first ship, the Charlotte Rhodes." "So this is the ship you called Charlotte's elder sister." " Yes." " Mr Onedin, have you considered where Charlotte and I will be sleeping tonight?" " At my house." " Oh?" "I'll be sleeping aboard the ship." " What's down there?" " Oh, that's the seamen's quarters." "Sling your hammock down there over your sea chest and look out for cockroaches." "Ugh." "Cockroaches." "And they'll chew your toenails right off." "Ooh, can I go up there?" "Oh, you better not or we'll both be for it." "Come on." "Here's your father." " Hello, Charlotte." " Now, what tales has Captain Baines been telling you?" "Jack Frazer left everything in trust for young William." "But I'm afraid, Elizabeth, in the eyes of the shipping world, that just does not inspire confidence." "What makes you say that?" "Robert was down at the shipping club yesterday." " So?" " I dined with Joe Crampton." "Now, nothing was said directly, but he very kindly dropped me a hint." "And the truth of the matter is, Elizabeth, that shippers like Norsworthy prefer to do business with people they know." "He knows me." "Socially, perhaps, but that's not how business is done." " Much of it is." " Of course it is." "Over the port after the ladies have retired." "Or down at the shipping club where ladies aren't even permitted." "Why, you can't even go on the floor of the exchange." " I will, if I choose." " Look, Elizabeth, unless someone is appointed manager, and very soon, a man of sound business sense." "A man of some weight and influence." "A man who is well known in commercial circles..." "What a pity you're not available yourself, Robert." "You sound just the man." "Ah, as to that." "Sarah and I have had a serious talk." "Of course, the chandlery business makes demands on me time." "As does being a Member of Parliament." "But, as Sarah quite rightly points out, that need not be a hindrance, why, it could be a positive advantage." " Are you saying..." " It's the best thing by far, Elizabeth." "It would not be without some sacrifice on my part, believe me, Elizabeth." "But I would be lacking in filial affection if I were to stand by and watch me own sister..." "Oh, stop being so pompous, Robert!" "Elizabeth, Robert is offering to give up all his political hopes in order to save you from certain disaster." "What disaster?" "What reason do you have for supposing these hints picked up at the shipping club mean anything?" "There was something on your mind when you went down there yesterday." "Now, what?" "What is it?" " Mr Harvey is here again, madam." " Harvey?" "He says he needs to see you most particular." " Again?" " Show him in." "If and when I do appoint somebody as manager, Robert, it'll not be somebody who is frightened to discuss business in front of ladies." "Nor will it be somebody of weight and influence at the shipping club." "It'll be somebody who doesn't mind what they say to anyone, and someone who treats me as an equal and not as a child." " Have you decided?" " Not yet, madam." "No." "Then what have you come for?" "To tell you something I think you ought to know." "This Conference you've joined on the South America trade appears to be a fraud." "Fraud?" "What do you know about it?" "I was drinking with Captain Corcoran last night." "He says there's 500 tons of textiles waiting to be shipped, and it's been given to everyone but Frazer's." "That doesn't mean to say that the Conference is a fraud, but it does underline what I was saying, Elizabeth, that Norsworthy no longer has confidence in the company." " Oh, he's to let you have100 tons." " Oh?" "But that's only because the Crampton ship's full up." "I don't believe it." "Now do you see why it's so important for a man to take charge?" "Norsworthy is our oldest customer." "He's not to be blamed, Mrs Frazer." "It's the shipping lines." "They've taken advantage of this Conference to try and squeeze out Frazer's altogether." "You're slandering some of the most respectable men in Liverpool, sir." "How would they squeeze us out?" " By offering discounts." " Offering discounts?" "Privately, of course, very privately." "What kind of discounts?" "Captain Corcoran reckons about 15% now." "That's absurd." "Is it?" "Alice, I want the carriage." "Frazer's used to carry one-third of the total exports to South America." "Soon we'll carry none at all." "They fixed that rate so high, knowing only you'll be fool enough to stick to it." "Will you come with me, Mr Harvey?" " Where to, ma'am?" " The exchange." " Elizabeth, you can't!" " You can't go in there." "We'll see about that." "They won't let you in." "Mr Norsworthy." "Good afternoon, Mrs Frazer." "I understand you very kindly favoured us with 100 tons of textiles" " to ship for you." " Aye." "I hope you'll offer us more next time." " That depends on the price." " I'm sure we can agree on that." "Well, there is the Conference to consider, Mrs Frazer." "I don't recall joining any Conference." "Well, Mr Onedin did give an undertaking." "Anything my brother committed us to was done without my knowledge or consent." " Yes, but even so, I don't think..." " I will deal with this, Mr Dunwoody." "If we did ever join the Conference, we are actually withdrawing now." "I consider that far more honest than to offer any discounts." "Discounts..." "Shall we say 25 shillings in the future, Mr Norsworthy?" "Twenty five shillings?" " Is that too much?" " It's much too little." "Oh, do forgive my inexperience." "I am, after all, just a woman." "You can't carry freight at 25 shillings a ton." "Twenty four and nine pence, then." " Still too high?" " No, it's much too low." "Yes." "What does Mr Norsworthy say?" "Twenty four and six." "What's thruppence?" "Very well, Mr Norsworthy." "Twenty four and six at a fixed rate for six months." "Mrs Frazer, I beg you to leave all business to us." "No matter what the state of the market?" " Yes" " It'll ruin you." "It'll not ruin me, Mr Beech." "You can't take a loss of that proportion for six months and hope to survive." "Oh, and I think I should tell you that from May 1st" "I'm going to put two more steamers into the line." "Two more..." "So we'll have twice as many sailings, won't we?" "There are too many steamers in the trade already." "I'll not lack for cargo at twenty four and six a ton." " Do you not agree, Mr Norsworthy?" " Oh, you'll certainly have my freight." "And plenty of room left over for any other shippers who care to be interested." "Just a moment." "Gentlemen!" "Please!" "Quiet." "One moment, please." "Mrs Frazer, do you really mean this?" "Is only a man's word as good as his bond?" "Very well." "Have your clerk write it out in his best copperplate and I'll sign it, on oath in front of any witness you care to designate." "Mr Harvey?" "It's suicide!" "Extra ships, twenty four and six a ton, and for six months." "It's just as I predicted, the end of Frazer's." "Well, that's just what you gentlemen wanted, wasn't it?" " They'll be finished." " We'll all be finished." " You made quite a stir in there." " Yes." "That offer you made me yesterday?" "You're prepared to accept it?" "I'm sorry for misinterpreting it." "Apologies don't suit you, Mr Harvey." "And the jolly old sailor says, "Heave away upon that rope."" "Oh, it's lovely, Papa." "Do it again." "Oh, no, no." "Come on, off to bed with you." " Goodnight, Papa." " Goodnight." " Goodnight, Aunt Letty." " Goodnight, love." "She's very devoted to you, Mr Onedin." " Doesn't even know me." " Perhaps that's why." "I'm told that those who do, know you as an ogre." "So you think I'm an ogre, do you?" "I don't know you, do I?" "What time are you thinking of leaving tomorrow?" "The afternoon train." "I hope by then you'll have given some thought to what we spoke about yesterday." "Bring her round to the Charlotte Rhodes in the morning, will you?" "You know the way." "Mr Baines tells me that that was your first ship." " Yes." " First child, in a way." "Perhaps." "And, to some fathers, the elder always come first, is that it?" "I always put business first, if that's what you mean." "Now I am seeing the ogre, aren't I?" "Hmm." "Trouble is the ogre's getting long in the tooth." " Now, the question is, shall I let him?" " What do you mean?" "Well, I can afford to take things a bit easy now, not put business first." "Something inside of me says no." "That doesn't alter your responsibility to Charlotte." "But isn't it better she's brought up by somebody who can always be with her, than a father who can't be?" "Yes, as long as that someone truly loves her and is always with her." "As you could be." "Listen, there's this house I know, it's up for sale." "I take it you wouldn't mind Charlotte treating you like a mother, if legally you were." "What?" "Mr Onedin," " if you're suggesting what I think..." " Now look." "I can have a solicitor draw proper legal papers." "I'd leave you money so you wouldn't have to worry about that and Charlotte could go to school." "And you wouldn't have to worry about being a governess." "Just about being a mother." "She's never had a proper home before." "So far I've never found anybody high enough in my esteem that I could entrust her to." "She's not a parcel, Mr Onedin." "Do you think you know me well enough?" "Aye, I do." "We'll have to see what Charlotte has to say." "Oh, she'll love it." "Look, talk to her, by all means, and then tomorrow we can go and see that house, eh?" "I know you'll both be very happy." " Well, goodnight then, eh?" " Goodnight." "But, Mrs Frazer, at twenty four and six we won't survive." "But we still have the shipyard to fall back on." "The banks will call in the loans." "Very well, I shall visit the banks." "In my best gown." "Mrs Frazer, I beg you to reconsider." "Go back on my word?" "But I thought that just wasn't done." "Well, I can tell them you've had further thoughts on the matter." " Being new to the business and being..." " A woman?" " They'll understand." " No." "Twenty four and six a ton, a fixed rate for six months." "But why did you have to go so low?" "The others were only asking twenty seven shillings." "To have offered the same would've been enough." "Not nearly enough." "I had to make sure our price was so low, none of the others would even dare to compete." "Who wants to at that price?" "It's disaster." "Besides, two more ships?" "We haven't got two more ships." "No, but we shall have." "Yes?" " May I come in, Mrs Frazer?" " Yes." "Come in, Mr Bell." "Dunwoody will talk her out of it." "You know they can't afford to carry freight at that price." "If Frazer's goes bankrupt, it will be no consolation to you." "With the two extra ships she's promised, she'll be carrying two-thirds" " of the entire trade from Liverpool." " She hasn't even got them." "That still leaves one-third to be divided amongst the rest of you." "Oh, thank you, very much." " At your Conference rates." " We can't charge those now." "Not with Crampton and I, and Bell, all running to grab what's left." "I don't think Bell's grabbing from what I've heard." "What you mean?" "He's grabbed already." "Have you?" "And at what rate?" "The same as yours, twenty four and six a ton." "So, between us we've cleared the South American market for the next six months." " If we last that long." " Oh, we shall, Mr Bell." " Yes?" "You know Mr Harvey." " Harvey." " Mr Bell." "I asked him to make some enquiries for me." "Beech and Crampton are putting their ships up for charter." " What's that?" " They have no choice, sir." "They'll get no takers." "Too many steamers laid up as it is." "I could find employment for two of them." "Get them, Mr Harvey." "One from each." "You'll find they won't be expensive." "Excuse me." "Are you saying you never even had that extra tonnage?" "You were counting on Beech and Crampton going down." "They can't afford to run empty ships for the next six months, can they?" "I only hope we can afford to run full ones." "If it's put two of our competitors out of the South American trade altogether, it's worth hanging on by our teeth." "Because in six months time, with only Bell's and Frazer's left..." "We'll have the shippers running after us, for a change." "Right." "Shall we make a conference then, Mr Bell?" "Just you and I, say thirty two shillings a ton at least." "Anyone can see you're James Onedin's sister." "I am Elizabeth Frazer." " Papa." " Charlotte, wait a minute." "Letty says we're going to live in Liverpool." "Perhaps." "But your father won't be living with us, Charlotte." "Why not?" "I never thought you had it in you the other day, to beat the whole shipping world at their own game." "Neither did I, then." "Would you like a drink?" "Yes, please." "That's why I wanted somebody like you I could rely on." "Good." "Thank you." "Only I'm not sure that I can afford you now, Matt." "What do you mean?" " You weren't altogether wrong about me." " I know and I'm glad." "Well, I can't afford that, can I?" " Why not?" " If I am to run Frazer's," "I've got to work 10 times harder than any man." "So?" "Well, If one's going to win, one has to be single-minded." "My brother James taught me that." "Is winning as important as all that?" "If you don't think so, you're no use to Frazer's." "Frazer's?" "I just want to be of use to you, Elizabeth." "Yes, I know." "But after what happened yesterday," "I can't help questioning your motives." "My motives?" "As one of your employees, ma'am," "I shall, of course, undertake to keep my feelings to myself in future," " if that's what you want." " It's not what I want, Matt, but it's how it would have to be on both sides." "You are like your brother James, business before everything." "If I don't put business before everything, I might lose it altogether." "I'm a woman in a man's world." " But with me to help you." " Yes." "You'd be doing business at the shipping club and I'd be relegated to the drawing room." " No." " Yes." "Even you would come to humour me in the end." " Never, Elizabeth." " Oh, please don't go on, Matt." "I've signed on under Captain Corcoran on the Prince Edward." " We sail on the tide." " What?" "She's your ship." "You can appoint another mate in my place." "Well, I'll be home again in four months." "You see, Charlotte, it's not considered right for the man and the woman to live together in the same house, unless they're married." "But I shan't be far away, eh?" "If that house we saw this morning doesn't prove suitable, we can always find another one." "I may not be in Liverpool but I'll come and see you as often as I can." "Come along, Charlotte." "We'll miss that train." "We promised Miss Mullen we'd be back before nightfall." "Papa, you could live with us if you did marry Letty." "Charlotte!" "Run outside and see if the cab's there." "Go on, quick." "Goodbye, Papa." "You see, I'm not ready to settle for the chimney corner yet." "It was the child who asked, not me." "Goodbye, Mr Onedin." "Letty, you will stay with her though, won't you?" "Well, we can't let her down on that as well, can we?" "Have you finished, madam?" "Yes." "Alice, get the carriage, I'm going out." "Get up, go on." "Get out of it." "Turn around, Harris." "Going back to Derby, are they, sir?" "Oh, yes." "Aye, well." "If you want me, I'll be in the exchange." " Get some business." " Aye-aye, sir."

"The Uninvited" "It's you?" "It's silly but I fell asleep." "What time is it?" "Quite late." "It's past midnight." "But you were supposed to come back yesterday." "I couldn't." "I told you." "Yes, that's right." "What's up?" "Is something wrong?" "No." "How did it go?" "Did it go well?" "Yes." "Really?" "Yes." "Did you miss me a little bit?" "Yes?" "It's the last time I let you go like that." "Is someone here?" "Yes." "But why didn't you tell me?" "Who is it?" "Wait, let me explain." "Wait." "This is Lorna." "Bergen's daughter." "You remember Bergen, the professor?" "He has a chair in London now." "She will stay in Paris." "She will learn French." "We did the trip together." "Can I help you?" "Have a sit." "She doesn't understand French?" "Only a few words." "Is it the first time she comes to Paris?" "Yes." "You want to eat something?" "No." "We're not very hungry." "Not even a salad?" "It's ready." "So?" "How did it go during all that time?" "Nothing special?" "No." "I had a small accident with the car but I got it fixed." "And I saw Christine and Bernard, several times." "They're nice, you know, once you get to know them." "Is it true?" "Did everything go well?" "Classes in the morning." "Laboratory in the afternoon." "I was a bit fed up at the end." "You're tired?" "You know, rain..." "And it's tiring to drive at night." "I'm a bit dopey." "But you'll see..." "When we are at the beach, we'll sleep as much as we want." "We'll hike and even sail if we cover up enough." "Sail?" "Don't you remember?" "We were supposed to leave tomorrow morning." "They're expecting us." "They've even called." "This morning still." "Yes, of course." "You don't remember?" "No." "No, but it's because I just got back." "We'll talk about it tomorrow." "Is she interested in biology too?" "No." "She wants to do theatre." "Really?" "Where is she going to take classes?" "I don't know." "Actually, with a former actor." "I think." "We should find her a hotel." "I'll go with her later." "She can sleep on the couch if you want." "It'll save you going back out." "It's ready." "Have a sit." "It's exactly my size, you chose well." "She tried it on for you." "It's strange no?" "It's in fashion now." "It comes from India." "You don't eat anything?" "No, I'm not very hungry." "You know, when you just wake up." "We spent a weekend on the beach." "And when we got back on the train, it was full." "There were women wearing silly hats with flowers." "Are you OK?" "I feel dizzy." "Have a sit." "There." "Have a drink." "Is it better?" "Yes." "Do you often have it?" "No." "It's because I worked a lot." "I was exhausted." "In the evening..." "Coming back alone." "We don't hear anything here." "Not one sound." "I was scared." "I've even bought sleeping pills because I couldn't sleep." "It's true." "Do you like me?" "You know..." "I wanted to tell you..." "We'll leave the day after tomorrow." "Whenever you want." "It doesn't matter." "OK?" "Watch out, she could come in." "You're crazy." "But what is she doing?" "Let me get her." "No wait a minute." "It's ready." "Good night." "I used to see her often at the Bergen's." "One day, she asked me if I was happy." "I said:" "Yes, of course." "I love my job." "I have a young wife, pretty and smart." "The more I was singing your praises, the more ridiculous I felt." "You know..." "I thought that if something like this happened to me..." "I would be..." "Well." "I wouldn't want to see you again." "I thought it would be over between us." "No." "Not at all." "On the contrary." "Even more." "That's it." "And when I came..." "When I saw you..." "Suddenly I saw you like a woman." "Not like my wife." "Do you understand?" "I could feel that I love you." "You." "I need you to understand." "Otherwise, it would have been a misunderstanding between us." "Everything." "From the beginning." "We've been together for four years." "So if anything happens to me, you have to know, to understand." "I need..." "What are you doing?" "You don't understand." "You don't want to understand." "Listen, give me some time." "Where are you going?" "If you come close, I scream." "Stop here." "It's closed today." "Speaking." "I leave right now." "Give me time to come at least." "They'll have to wait." "Yes, I'll bring everything with me." "If I'd be warned earlier, I'd already be there." "Fine, you'll tell me later." "Is Mr Cherez here?" "Good." "It takes me four hour, so let's say around noon." "OK." "Weren't you supposed to be away?" "Yes." "I missed my plane." "I'm going to the south." "No one works here today, you know it." "Yes, but..." "I had some work to finish, so I came." "What's the matter?" "Is there something wrong?" "No." "I haven't slept much." "That's all." "Have you seen Souvel's case?" "Pierre was supposed to deal with it." "You don't know where it is either?" "You don't have any idea?" "I don't know." "I'm not aware." "I don't understand anything." "It's Daniel who printed them, maybe he knows something." "Do you mind calling him?" "Hello?" "Is it Mrs Brisseau?" "Hi, I'm sorry to bother you so early." "Is Daniel here?" "He's left?" "Yes." "It was about work." "He knew, yes." "Mr Desailly needs it now." "Yes, it's important." "Its kind of you." "Do you think I can reach him there?" "Thank you." "I'll try immediately, thank you very much." "Bye." "Hello?" "Excuse me sir, is Daniel Brisseau there?" "Thank you." "Hello?" "It's me, Anne." "Listen, I'm in a hurry." "I'm at the office." "The Souvel's case, we can't find it." "Sorry?" "I'll have a look, hold on." "We didn't think about it, you're right." "Yes." "I'll explain." "Yes, he's here." "In a hurry." "Bye." "It was in the hall." "We left it there, in full sight." "We wanted to let you know but..." "Sorry." "Fine." "I'm going then." "Do you take many of..." "These stuff?" "I couldn't sleep." "When you're tired..." "I wanted to ask you." "If I could have a few more days." "To have a rest." "The week?" "OK." "You need it." "You said you were going to the south?" "Yes, to the sea." "My husband is there already." "He left directly." "Are you taking the plane for Nice?" "No, Marseille." "Tonight, at 9.30 pm." "I'm going over there too, I can drive you if you want." "We'll get there before your plane." "You could be useful on the building site," "I have to stop there." "But..." "I'm so tired, I wouldn't want to..." "You'll sleep in the car." "Do you have any luggage?" "No." "Fine." "Shall we go?" "Are you cold?" "Do you want me to shut the window?" "Do you want to put the seat down?" "You could lie down to sleep." "No, thank you." "What a weather." "It's awful." "I have to go fast, we're so late now." "With this plan story." "Thank you." "We'll be there soon." "Ten minutes." "Sir." "A full tank please." "And check the tyres too." " And do the windscreen." " Fine." "Do you want a coffee?" "No, thank you." "It'd be good for you." "How much do I owe you?" "40 francs please." "Do you know where she's gone?" "Over there." "Thank you." "It was dirty." " Is Mr Cherez here?" " Yes, over there." " He's waiting for you." " Thank you." "Here they are." "Hello." "I'll be ten minutes." "We'll leave straight after." "Stay there." "So, Mr Desailly, what do you think?" "I don't understand." "We've done all the sounding though." "We didn't detect this water layer." "But it's here." "We need an explanation." "It's maybe the thaw." "No, I'm sorry, I disagree." "It can't explain so much water." "Do you want to check inside?" "It's got nothing to do with it." "Mr Cherez, come in." "It's not wide enough." "If you don't trust us, call a geologist." "So." "Here we have the building." "That's it." "Here is the ground." "If we get the level of the water outcrop." "In the trench, we should have the water to that level." "But the water can come from under the building." "We can't know." "Well below." "The other possibility, is that there is a resurgence, very localised, without any danger for the buildings." "But I'm not sure." "Because if necessary, you understand that..." "If necessary, we build a waterproof lining in all the existing basements." "A lining?" "But it's catastrophic, do you realise?" "And how much will this cost me?" "I'm not paying the extra work." "Does it not work?" "Let me have a look." "Excuse me." "16." "What's your number?" "20 47 43." "47 43." "That's it." "Say something." "Give it to me." "Hello?" "We're calling from Souvel sir." "Sorry?" "I don't know." "A young lady made the call." "Hold on." "Who is it from miss?" "Wait." "Hold on." "Miss." "Anne." "Anne." "Anne." "Anne, what's the matter?" "What are you doing?" "Leave me alone." "I told you to wait." "What's the matter?" "It's ridiculous." "Leave me alone." "Leave me alone." "Let me go." "Don't worry." "I'm coming back." "Try to talk." "Try to explain, you'll see." "You'll feel better." "Is it your husband?" "He's not on the coast?" "He's not waiting for you?" "And your friends, the ones you mentioned, do they exist?" "Do you still want to go there or not?" "Is it that bad?" "Is it that bad?" "Come on, sit up." "I'm sorry, I was unpleasant this morning, I didn't realise." "Sit up straight." "Are you better?" "Yes." "There." "Wear this or you'll get a cold." "You could have at least parked it better than that." "Yes." "Fine, I'll do it now." "Here's the sun." "If you want sunglasses, there's a pair in the glovebox." "Where do your friends live again?" "At Le Grau-du-Roi, on the port." "They rented a house." "It's not too far from ours." "We go through Avignon, Nimes, Montpellier." "Then I drive along the coast and I'm home." "Close to Saintes-Maries." "I built it after the war, when I worked in Marseille." "It's very small." "We were lucky, it's not very built around there." "It's still beautiful." "We won't arrive tonight." "We'll stop on the way somewhere." "It's up to you." "You'll go to your friends' tomorrow." "You can stay at ours if you want." "I let you think." "There's something I wanted to see, it's close to here." "We'll stop a minute." "Do you mind?" "What is it?" "Let's go." "You should like it." "Don't you recognise it?" "Yes." "But I thought it was smaller." "I'll have a quick look around." "Here you have the heating." "You'll be warm." "Do you like it?" "And you?" "I don't know." "It's arguable." "This great wall not supporting anything." "It's hollow." "The roof is in concrete, why?" "Maybe nothing is practical in this church." "Maybe it's better if nothing is practical." "At least, he did what he wanted." "Have you met him?" "Le Corbusier?" "I worked with him." "I even worked with him here." "Was it good?" "We used to all work together, we had plans." "We had faith." "We thought we would change the world." "Then he died." "And you?" "Me?" "I became architect." "I have an agency, employees, I earn money." "That's what we call success." "It's visible." "I'm sorry for this morning." "I made you mess up everything with my stories." "It was meant to happen sooner or later." "The man with glasses, on the building site, what did he want?" "He just wanted to save money, that's all." "It happens all the time." "Is he allowed?" "He has the money." "We work on a project, we live through it, we design it." "It's a bit like a child." "And slowly, they turn it into a monster." "There's nothing we can do." "You're lucky with your brushes and you colours." "And..." "I'd like not to talk about architecture for the next two days, I've had enough." "Come on, let's go, it's cold here." "It's impressive." "Sorry?" "What is?" "This place, like this, empty." "This silence." "In the summer, there's always a lot of people." "They're on the lawn, having picnics." "I prefer it deserted, like this, in the winter." " I lost you." " Yes." "Brilliant." "Where did you buy them?" " On the main or side street?" " On the side street." "What should we do?" "Should we stop here?" "We can drive a bit more if you want." "I'd like to." "It's practical that stuff." "Wait." "You have to wait for the click." "That's all we needed." "I wanted to use shortcuts through the mountains, and there we are." "It's beautiful around here." "I like to drive at night." "Perfect." "We might be blocked by the snow." "As it's beautiful, it's perfect." "You're smiling in the end." "If you're tired, I can drive." "No." "You're not used to it." "You have to dive slowly, it's dangerous." "Do you use this road often?" "Sometimes, since I have this construction." "Each time I go to the sea." "Does your wife still live in the south?" "Yes." "She works in Marseille, she was born there." "Is he going to let me overtake?" "He's nice." "How is she?" " How is she?" " Yes." "She's a remarkable woman, very smart." "Is she not pretty?" "Very pretty, on the contrary." "So why did you say very smart first?" "I don't know, I said it like this." "Watch out." "What should we do?" "It's over." "We can't go any further." "There's days like this." "First, the construction site, then the snow." "There's no point insisting." "We can't stay here." "Come on." "We'll find a village or a house." "We're there." "See, it wasn't that far." "It doesn't look very lively." "But there's some light." "Cafe and restaurant." "There must be someone." "Is someone here?" "It looks good." " No, don't touch it." " Just a little bit." "Don't act like a child." "Stop." "What if someone came?" "Good evening sir." "Good evening." "Sorry to bother you." "It's late but we saw the light." "It's midnight, the cafe is closed sir." "My car has broken down." "We can't get it out." "We need a tractor." "Do you know someone who could help us?" "At this time, I don't know." "I'm alone and I have the oven on." "It's in the middle of the road, it's annoying." "It's not far." "I'd be happy to help you, but I don't know what to say." "I can't leave, excuse me." " I'll be back right away." " Thank you." " Do we bother you?" " No, come in." "Watch the stick." "Would you know a hotel nearby?" "We come from Paris, we drove all day." "A hotel?" "It's very small here you know." "You won't find anything in the surroundings at this time." "But wait a minute." "The snowplough will come in about 15 minutes." "It always comes here." "They will be able to help you with your car." "They're from here." "They're friends." "Thank you, it's very kind." "It's beautiful." "I haven't seen that for years." "You like it?" "What is it?" "It's a local biscuit." "It's for celebrations." "How do you make it?" "It's a bread dough." "We add some milk, butter, eggs, sugar." "It's the cake we make for celebrations here." "A niece is getting married." "So I do everything." "Biscuits, vol-au-vent, wedding cake." "And the bread, like every day." "I'm overwhelmed." "Where are you going, if you don't mind me asking?" "Lyon then the south coast." "You're using a strange itinerary from Paris." "Thank you." "I had a construction to check, then used the small roads." "I didn't expect so much snow." "Here, you have to know." "Especially at night." "So you have constructions?" "Are you in the field?" "Architect." "I see." "Here they are." "I told you, they always come here to have a drink." "I'm telling you, they like to drink, even in the summer." "Come here." "Don't worry, it will be done in half an hour." "You have all this to do for tomorrow?" "Yes." "You like it, I can tell." "I don't like cakes, but I like making them." "Careful with the cream." "Not so much at once." "She must be happy your niece." "It's her big day." "We get married only once." "In principle." "Yes, in principle." "Is she very young your niece?" "She's getting to 22 years old." "Is she pretty?" "She's still a kid." "That's it, it's fine." "Thank you." "You know that he almost got stuck too." "It wouldn't be the first time." "Cheers." "Cheers to the Parisians." "Do you want some?" "Yes." "So?" "Is everything OK?" "Yes, thank you." "You don't eat with us?" "No thank you." "With the oven's heat, eating is not good for you." "Some wine?" "No thank you." "Later." "I still have work to do." "He's nice, isn't he?" "Yes, I like him." "Are you done?" "Yes, I just need to put it in the oven." "How many batch do you do?" "Three." "How long does it take you?" "Around 40 minutes each." "Do you want to try some?" "It's very good." "You look tired." "And you've driven all day." "And you worked hard here." "I'm fine, on the contrary." "We're going to leave you." "We have to go." "But..." "You're not going to go back on the road at that time." "We have to." "At this time, you won't find anything, it's all closed." "So..." "I thought..." "You would stay here." "Listen, you're very kind." "It's our rooms you know." "It's very simple." "And that's all I have to offer." "I have prepared it all." "Anyway, I can show you if you want." "Come on." "Be careful in the stairs." "The steps are a bit old." "You see, it's simple." "It's clean, it's the countryside." "That's where I lived when I was single." "This is the other room." "I have already put the heating on." "You can't leave it on for too long." "You'll switch it off here, before you go to sleep." "It's very nice here." "Let me get you some water." "In case you get thirsty." "Thank you." "There." "Your bag." "It's heavy." "You'll have a sleep." "You'll feel better." "I'll go downstairs to keep company to Henri." "No, stay here." "I prefer." "Fine." "I'll be here next door." "Sleep peacefully." "François?" "What's the matter?" "You're not sleeping?" "I think I had a dream." "What time is it?" "Late." "I opened my eyes and I didn't know where I was." "You have to get back to sleep." "You don't want to sit here for a while?" "He's nice the baker." "Did you see what he's done?" "He prepared everything, without saying anything." "Yes." "Does he still work?" "Is he still baking?" "Yes." "It's 6 am." "Fine." "It's time to sleep now." "Can't you stay here next to me?" "Do you mind?" "No." "There." "Take this." "Don't go." "Good morning." "Did you sleep well?" "Yes." "Do you want some coffee?" "Thank you." "Have a sit." "Do you have sugar?" "No." "You'll be able to leave now." "It's better." "Yes." "Here's the bride." "Yes, it's Nicole." "Soon, we'll be out of the snow." "Now it's the rain." "Look at that." "It's horrible." "When we think of all the snow and villages." "Another world." "He's mad." "Does he want to die?" "Don't be scared." "Can you drive me to a train station?" "A train station?" "Do you want to go to Paris?" "Maybe." "If it's to go to your friends', I can..." "You did want to go to theirs, no?" "I don't know anymore." "What's this road?" "We're going to a friend of mine." "A sculptor." "He works near a quarry, nearby." "I haven't seem him for a while, but..." "It'll be good for you, it'll cheer you up." "I can't leave you like that, on your own, in a train station." "I have to see him anyway, I have an order for him." "It's here." "Paul?" "Is it him who does that?" "Yes." "He must be around." "It must be his car." "I'll have a look at the quarry." "Paul?" "Be careful." "He's here." "Paul?" "It's François." "This is Paul." "Anne." "Hi." "We looked for you everywhere, all the quarries of the area." "I was told you were here." "Yes, it's been three months." "I've found a house in the end." " Really?" " I have a nice workshop." "You'll see it later." "I didn't know." "You could have told me." "Are you coming from Paris?" "Yes." "We left yesterday." "Come in, it's cold here." "Is that what you work on at the moment?" "Yes." "I have to start here." "Because the stone is too heavy." "Is it not too..." "Is it not too soft?" "You have to know it." "When you leave it outside, it gets harder." "It gets a nice colour." "The colour of the houses and the rocks of the region, when you arrive." "Come and have a look at the house." " Have you eaten?" " No." "This is the workshop." "I dug that into the rock." "No, it's not a wall." " Is it in the rock?" " Yes." "It's a stable." "Here is where they used to keep the hay." "I made the stairs." "Really?" "Come on." "It's sturdy." "It's big, isn't it?" "I was lucky." "Not bad." "I bought the furniture here and there." "It's made for an artist." "There's not enough light." "It's a shame, you can't really see." "This one is not finished yet." "It has to find its strength." "Whereas this one, the big one, it's already found its movement." "It's beautiful." "Do you really mean it?" "It could stay like that." "See, the masses are right." "But they have to be tighter." "So I have to dig there." "Again." "And again here." "It's the same as the one over there." " Which one?" " The yellow one." "You see, but this one is lying." "While the other one is standing." "This one, I call it prostration." "It's beautiful." "You have worked a lot." "Since I'm here I haven't stopped." "I can tell." "You look tired." "You should be careful." "And does it work?" "Do you exhibit?" "Sell?" "For now, I can't look into it." "I work." "After, I'll see." "It's a shame." "You should look into it." "You should sell them." "I'm in no rush." "Let me get changed, I'll be two minutes." "Then we'll have lunch." "We'll eat a bit but I need to tell you about this project." "OK, whenever you want." "What is it exactly?" "A theatre's façade." "You do what you want, it's a 50 meters façade." "50 metres?" "Of what?" "Concrete." " Concrete?" " That's what's needed." "It's interesting." "You'll have everything you need." "Are you interested?" "Yes, we'll see." "Have a seat, I'll be right back." "Coffee?" "How many sugars?" "Two." "Thank you." "I'd like you to have a look." " Yes." " Thank you." "I'll write down all the measurements." " So you can get an idea." " OK." "You're tired." "Don't you want to rest?" "No." "We'll leave soon." "Hello." "How are you?" "You come and see us tonight?" " I can't, I have some friends." " Come anyway." "Come on in." "No." "But come with them." "They're pretty your friends." "Do they live here?" "Yes, one of them is a bookseller." "She exhibits paintings too." "I've exhibited drawings at hers." "Which one?" "The one in red or yellow?" "The red one." "The one you kissed." "I kissed them both." "You're not that lonely in the end." "Does it not prevent you from working?" "No, on the contrary." "Here's my thinking you were a hermit." "You're not bored, are you?" "Not at all." "It's nice here." "We can breath." "And we forget." "Listen." "François?" "Why don't you stay for the night?" "I have some friends who would be happy to meet you." "They can accommodate you, they have a big house." "It's more comfortable than here." "And they just invited you." "I can't, I have to leave." "But you maybe, as you're on holidays." "You have time to decide, I'm going to the village to call." " Wait François, I come with you." " No don't worry." "Can we call from there?" "Of course, at the café." "What do I do?" "I go left?" "Then right and you'll find the café." "Fine." "See you later." "See you later." "Paul?" "Is it you?" "What time is it?" "Around 4 pm." "I heard some noise." "Is François here?" "Not yet." "What's this noise?" "It's the wind." "The weather has changed." "You haven't slept?" "Yes, a little bit." "You know, I thought about your sculptures." "They're beautiful." "They seem to come out of the rock on their own." "The black one, you know the one that's not standing." "How do you call it?" "Distress." "And the one standing in the corner?" "Expectation." "Why did you call them like that?" "I don't know." "Like that." "You seem better." "You were not very well when you arrived." "Have you got trouble?" "Yes." "Your husband?" "Yes." "What does he do?" "He's a biologist." "He travels a lot." "He's often abroad for conferences." "He told me a lot of things." "I didn't understand what he was telling me." "As if I was in front of someone I didn't know." "I got scared." "I left like a furry without thinking." "And now?" "Now?" "It's strange, since I'm here, I can't stop thinking about it." "It's strange." "It seems easy to tell you." "You were here?" "You were not saying anything?" "No." "I'm going to leave." "Have you seen what it's about?" "Yes, I had a look." "Do you want to do it?" "You accept the order?" "Yes, in principle." "Fine, I leave you a plan." "I'll give you an advance." "No, listen, there's no rush." "You'll send it to me." "No way." "You're hired." "It's a first deposit." "You'll receive the contract." "There." "Do you leave like this?" "We hardly talked." "I came to talk about that." "I told you." "So I'm leaving." "Do you want me to call your friends?" "It's up to you." "Goodbye." "So do I stay here?" "What do you want to do?" "I'm coming." "Thank you." "It's nothing major." "The wing is bent but the wheel should spin." "Try." "See." "You didn't hurt yourself?" "Listen, we can't stay here." "Do you want me to drive?" "It's straight ahead, at the end of the quay." "You can leave me here." "Otherwise you have to go around." "It's a one-way street." "So." "Thank you." "It was a nice trip." "But you, do you have to go back tomorrow?" "I don't know." "I should." "I feel bad." "Maybe it's my fault this delay." "Give my apologies to your wife." "My suitcase." "Well." "What's the matter?" "What are you doing here?" "Are they not here?" "You didn't see them?" "What are you going to do?" "Are you not staying here?" "Come with me." "We'll go home." "We'll call them from there." "Watch out." "It's here." "All the houses are like that here." "Are you coming?" "Michèle?" "Michèle?" "What's going on?" "She's left with some friends, she's not here." "You see the sand strips?" "It's windy." "The sea is strong." "Come in." "You see, it's just this room." "A small kitchen." "And here the room." "It's OK, it wasn't dead." "Do you want to sit down?" "Do you want to take your coat off?" "Olive wood is great, it burns immediately." "It's her." "François?" "François?" "Here you are." "How are you?" "Very well." "I saw the car." "What happened?" "Nothing." "Good evening." "Are you not hurt?" "Not at all." "I saw the car damaged, the light, I didn't understand." "I feel bad to arrive so late, but we were on a boat with André and some friends." "I hadn't heard from you." "I tried to call you, but I couldn't reach you." "It doesn't matter." "Are you OK?" "Yes." "I'm happy to see you." "Come in." "I wanted to tell you..." "This is Anne." "She works with me, she's one of my colleagues." "My wife." "We travelled together, she was meeting some friends, but they were not here." "Good evening." "Good evening." "We had an awful weather." "First, we got lost." "We had snow." "And this stupid accident." "You haven't been lucky." "But have a sit." "We also had some bad weather." "Yesterday, it rained all day." "The sea came all the way to the house." "A horrendous wind." "This morning, it was nice, it was sunny." "And it started again." "You don't want to sit down?" "After lunch, André came to get me." "He bought a new boat." "Another one?" "Yes." "He's very proud of it." "He insisted to go on a trip." "We went to the lakes, you know." "Anyway, when we had to come back, the engine broke down." "We were far away." "We walked for an hour." "In the end, it was dark when we got back." "Are you OK?" "Very well." "Yes." "Your work?" "Fine." "And you?" "I'm fine." "Still the same problems with business services." "But I defend myself." "Where do they live your friends?" "At Le Grau-du-Roi, just here." "Really?" "Do you need something?" "No, thank you." "You haven't eaten?" "No, but it's late." "It's ready."

"He was the most extraordinary man I ever knew." "Did you know him well?" "I knew him." "Well, nil nisi bonum." "But did he really deserve a place in here?" "Lord Allenby, could you give a few words about Lawrence?" "What, more words?" "The revolt in the desert played a decisive part in the Middle Eastern campaign." "Yes, sir, but about Colonel Lawrence himself." "No, no. I didn't know him well, you know." "Mr. Bentley, you know as much about Lawrence as anybody." "Yes, it was my privilege to know him." "And to make him known to the world." "He was a poet, a scholar and a mighty warrior." "Thank you." "He was also the most shameless exhibitionist since Barnum and Bailey." "You, sir." "Who are you?" "My name is Jackson Bentley." "I overheard your last remark and take the gravest exception." "He was a great man." "Did you know him?" "No, I can't claim to have known him." "I had the honour to shake his hand in Damascus." "Knew him?" "I never knew him." "He had some minor function on my staff in Cairo." "Michael George Hartley this is a nasty, dark little room." "That's right." "We are not happy in it." "I am. lt's better than a nasty, dark little trench." "Then you're a big noble fellow." "That's right." "Here is William Potter with my newspaper." "Here you are, Tosh." "Thanks." "Would you care for one of Corporal Hartley's cigarettes?" "ls it there?" "Of course." "Headlines." "But I bet it isn't mentioned in the Times." "" Bedouin tribes attack Turkish stronghold."" "I bet that no one in this headquarters even knows it happened." "Or would care if it did." "Allow me to ignite your cigarette." "Mr." "Lawrence?" "Yes." "Flimsy, sir." "Thank you." "You'll do that once too often." "It's only flesh and blood." "Michael George Hartley, you're a philosopher." "And you're balmy!" "lt damn well hurts!" "Certainly, it hurts." "What's the trick, then?" "The trick, William Potter, is not minding that it hurts." "By the way, if Captain Gibbon should enquire for me tell him I've gone for a chat with the general." "He's balmy." "He's all right." "Lawrence." "Yes?" "You're supposed to be...." "Do you usually wear your cap in the mess?" "Always." "You should be on duty." "Where are you going?" "Mustn't talk shop, Freddie, not in the mess." "I'm going for a powwow with the general." "I'm not asking as your superior, but as the secretary of this mess." "We don't want chaps in here who should be on duty." "Where are you going?" "I must say, Lawrence!" "Sorry." "You're a clown, Lawrence." "Ah, well, we can't all be lion tamers." "Sorry." "It's an intrigue, Dryden." "I do not propose to let an overweening, crass lieutenant thumb his nose at his commander and get away with it." "It doesn't sound as though he'd be any great loss." "Don't try that, Dryden." "There's a principle involved." "There is, indeed." "He's of no use here in Cairo." "He might be in Arabia." "He knows his stuff, sir." "Knows the books, you mean." "I've already sent out Colonel Brighton, who's a soldier." "If Brighton thinks we should send some arms, we will." "Well, what more do you want?" "That there would be no question of Lieutenant Lawrence giving military advice." "By God, I should hope not." "It's just that the Arab Bureau would like its own man on the spot to...." "To what?" "To make our own appraisal of the situation." "I'll tell you, it's my considered opinion and that of my staff that time spent on the Bedouin will be time wasted." "They're a nation of sheep-stealers." "They did attack Medina." "And the Turks made mincemeat of them." "We don't know that." "We know that they didn't take it." "A storm in a teacup, a sideshow." "In my opinion, this whole theatre of operations is a sideshow." "The real war's being fought against Germans, not Turks." "Not here, but on the Western front in the trenches." "Your Bedouin Army, or whatever it calls itself would be a sideshow of a sideshow." "Big things have small beginnings, sir." "Does the Arab Bureau want a big thing in Arabia?" "Does the bureau think they'll sit down under us when this war is over?" "The bureau thinks the job of the moment, sir, is to win the war." "Don't tell me my duty, Mr. Dryden." "Lawrence, sir." "Send him in." "Good morning, sir." "Salute." "If you're insubordinate, I shall put you under arrest." "lt's my manner." "Your what?" "My manner. lt looks insubordinate, but it isn't." "I can't make out whether you're bad-mannered or just half-witted." "l have the same problem, sir." "Shut up." "The Arab Bureau thinks you would be of use to them in Arabia." "Why, I can't imagine." "You can't perform your present duties properly." "" l cannot fiddle, but I can make a great state from a little city."" "What?" "Themistocles, sir." "A Greek philosopher." "l know you've been well-educated." "It says so in your dossier." "You're the kind of creature I can't stand, Lawrence." "But I suppose I could be wrong." "All right, Dryden." "You can have him for six weeks." "Who knows?" "It might even make a man of him." "Come in!" "Yes, what is it?" "The convoy will be in Port Said tomorrow night." "ls that certain?" "Yes, sir." "There doesn't seem to be any artillery." "But there must be artillery!" "Sir, this is something of an expedition." "He has to get to Yenbo, find a guide, find the Arabs and then get back." "He can't do that in six weeks." "Two months, then." "Three." "All right, three." "Now, will you let me do some work, Mr. Dryden?" "Thank you, sir." "I'd like to say, sir, that I am grateful for this." "Shut up and get out." "Sir?" "How can I fight a bloody war without bloody artillery?" "How did you do it?" "Might better ask why I bothered to." "Because I'm the man for the job." "l just wonder about that." "Of course I am." "What is the job, by the way?" "Find Prince Feisal." "Good." "And when I've found him?" "Find out what kind of a man he is." "Find out what his intentions are." "Not his immediate intentions." "That is Colonel Brighton's business, not yours." "I mean, his intentions in Arabia altogether." "That's new." "Where are they now?" "Anywhere within 300 miles of Medina." "They're Hashemite Bedouins." "They can cross 60 miles of desert in a day." "Thanks." "This is going to be fun." "Lawrence, only two kinds of creature get fun in the desert:" "Bedouins and gods, and you're neither." "Take it from me." "For ordinary men, it's a burning fiery furnace." "No, Dryden. lt's going to be fun." "It is recognized that you have a funny sense of fun." "Here you may drink." "One cup." "You do not drink?" "No." "I'll drink when you do." "I am Bedu." "Truly, now, you are a British officer?" "Yes." "From Cairo?" "Yes." "You did not ride from Cairo?" "No." "Thank heaven. lt's 900 miles." "I came by boat." "And before?" "From Britain?" "Yes." "Truly?" "From Oxfordshire." "is that a desert country?" "No." "A fat country." "Fat people." "You are not fat?" "No." "I'm different." "Here take it." "First I take you to Lord Feisal, then you give it to me." "Take it now." "Bedu food." "Good." "More?" "Bedu." "Where?" "From here to Lord Feisal's camp is Harith country." "Yes, I know." "l am not Harith." "No." "Hazimi, of the Beni Salem." "Put the right foot in tight." "Lock it with your left foot." "When you are ready to go hit her on the shoulder and say, " Hut-hut-hut."" "Today will be difficult, but tomorrow, good riding." "I think we reach Masturah Well tomorrow." "Yes." "And from Masturah Well to Lord Feisal's camp, one day more." "Now!" "Good?" "It's all right." "This is a Harith well." "The Harith are a dirty people." "Turks?" "Bedu." "Who is he?" "He is dead." "Yes." "Why?" "This my well." "I have drunk from it." "You are welcome." "He was my friend." "That?" "Yes, that." "This pistol yours?" "No, his." "His?" "Mine." "Then I will use it." "Your friend was a Hazimi of the Beni Salem." "I know." "I am Ali ibn el Kharish." "I have heard of you." "So what was a Hazimi doing here?" "He was taking me to help Prince Feisal." "You've been sent from Cairo." "Yes." "I have been in Cairo for my schooling." "I can both read and write." "My Lord Feisal already has an Englishman." "What is your name?" "My name is for my friends." "None of my friends is a murderer." "You are angry, English." "He was nothing." "The well is everything." "The Hazimi may not drink at our wells." "He knew that." "Salaam." "Sherif Ali." "So long as the Arabs fight tribe against tribe so long will they be a little people a silly people." "Greedy, barbarous and cruel, as you are." "Come." "I will take you to Feisal." "I do not want your company, sherif." "Wadi Safra is another day from here." "You will not find it, and you will die." "I will find it with this." "Good army compass." "How if I take it?" "Then you would be a thief." "Have you no fear, English?" "My fear is my concern." "Truly." "God be with you, English." "As / walk along the Bois de Boulogne With an independent air" "You can hear the girls declare" "He must be a millionaire" "'m the man who broke the bank At Monte Carlo" "Hey, you!" "l've been waiting for you." "Did you know I was coming?" "I knew someone was coming." "Feisal told me." "How did he know?" "Not much happens within 50 miles of Feisal that he doesn't know." "I'll give him that." "No escort?" "My guide was killed at the Masturah Well." "Turks?" "No, an Arab." "Bloody savages." "This is Wadi Safra, isn't it?" "Yes, they're over there." "Just a minute." "What's your name and who sent you?" "Lawrence. I've been seconded to the Arab Bureau." "What are you to do for the Arab Bureau?" "Well, it's rather vague, sir." "I'm to appreciate the situation." "Well, that won't be difficult." "The situation's bloody awful." "Their morale, if they ever had any, which I doubt the Turks knocked out of them in front of Medina, with howitzers." "They're fading away by dozens every night." "What I want to say is this:" "Wherever you are and whoever you are with you're a British officer." "Here's an order." "When we get into that camp, you're to keep your mouth shut." "Do you understand what I'm saying?" "l understand what you're saying." "You'll make your appreciation and get back to" "Oh, my God." "Not again." "I've told him!" "God knows I've told him." "" Move South," l've said." ""You're still in range."" "They simply will not understand what modern weapons do!" "Stand and fight." "Stand and fight." "Fire back at them." "Who are you?" "Lieutenant Lawrence, sir." "Seconded to the Arab Bureau." "This is a bloody mess, sir." "We'll have to move south." "Yes, colonel, 50 miles south." "You were right and I was wrong." "We must take some thought for the wounded." "We can take care of them at Yenbo." "lf they can get to Yenbo." "They can hardly come with us." "No." "They must try to reach Yenbo." "Lieutenant...?" "Lawrence." "You understand, Lieutenant Lawrence my people are unused to explosives and machines." "First the guns, and now this." "Cigarette?" "I'm sorry." "Cigarette, Your Excellency?" "Umph off." "Please, Your Excellency." "Just one for two?" "Hold it, Jenkins!" "Jenkins!" "Lawrence?" "You have no servant." "l don't need a servant." "No?" "We can do everything." "Light fires, cook food, wash clothes." "Yes, everything." "l don't doubt it." "lt will be very nice for you." "l can't afford it." "Recite, then, as much of the Koran as may be easy to you." "God knoweth that there be some among you sick while others travel through the Earth in quest for the bounties of God." "Others do battle in His cause." "Recite, therefore, as much as may be easy." "And observe the prayers." "This will be best and richest in the recompense." "Seek ye the forgiveness of God." "Verily, God is forgiving, merciful" "Greetings, Ali." "My lord." "Sherif Ali." "Lieutenant Lawrence, you have met Sherif Ali, I think." "Yes, my lord." "And now, Selim, "The Brightness."" "" By the noonday brightness and by the night when it darkeneth thy Lord hath not forsaken thee neither hath He been displeased." "And surely the future shall be better for thee than the past."" ""And in the end shall your Lord be bounteous to thee and thou be satisfied."" "So?" "Yes, colonel." "l want a decision, sir." "You want me to fall back on Yenbo." "Well, you're not doing much good here, sir." "I'm sorry to rub it in, sir, but we can't supply you here." "You could supply us through Aqaba!" "Aqaba!" "If you can get ahold of Aqaba, we can supply you." "But you can't!" "You could." "You mean, the navy?" "The Turks have 1 2-inch guns at Aqaba, sir." "Can you imagine what that means?" "Yes, I can imagine." "Put that out of your mind, sir." "The navy's got other things to do." "Oh, yes." "Protecting the Suez Canal." "The one essential sector of this front is and must be the canal." "You can see that, sir, surely." "I see that the canal is an essential British interest." "It is of little consequence to us." "I must ask you not to speak like that." "British and Arab interests are one and the same." "Possibly." "Upon my word, sir, you're ungrateful." "Fall back on Yenbo and we will give you equipment." "Give you arms, advice, training, everything." "Guns?" "A modern rifle for every man." "No." "Guns." "Artillery." "Guns like the Turkish guns at Medina." "Yes, give us guns and keep the training." "Your men need training far more than guns, sir." "English will teach Bedu to fight?" "We will teach them, Sherif Ali, to fight a modern mechanized army." "Yes, lieutenant?" "What do you think about Yenbo?" "I think it is far from Damascus." "We'll have you in Damascus, sir." "Never fear." "Have you been in Damascus, Mr. Lawrence?" "Yes, my lord." "It is beautiful, is it not?" "Very." "That will do, Lawrence." "Dreaming won't get you to Damascus, but discipline will." "Look, Great Britain is a small country, much smaller than yours." "Small population compared with some." "It's small, but it's great." "And why?" "Because it has guns." "Because it has discipline." "Because it has a navy, because of this, the English go where they please and strike where they please." "This makes them great." "Right." "Mr." "Lawrence, that will do!" "Lawrence is not your military adviser." "But I would like to hear his opinion." "Damn it!" "Who do you take your orders from?" "From Lord Feisal, in Feisal's tent." "Old fool!" "Why turn from him to him?" "They are master and man." "My lord, I think...." "l think your book is right." "The desert is an ocean in which no oar is dipped." "On this ocean, the Bedu go where they please and strike where they please." "This is the way the Bedu has always fought." "You're famed through the world for fighting this way." "And this is the way you should fight now." "I don't know." "I'm sorry, sir, but you're wrong." "Fall back on Yenbo, the Arab Rising becomes one unit in the British army." "What is this to you?" "You're a traitor." "No, colonel." "He is a young man, and young men are passionate." "They must say their say." "But wiser people must decide." "I know you are right." "Very well." "When shall we move?" "The sooner the better." "You'll lose another 50 men tonight." "You tread heavily but you speak the truth." "I will give you my answer tomorrow." "And now it is late." "Colonel Brighton means to put my men under European officers, does he not?" "In effect, my lord, yes." "And I must do it because the Turks have European guns." "But I fear to do it upon my soul I do." "The English have a great hunger for desolate places." "I fear they hunger for Arabia." "Then you must deny it to them." "You are an Englishman." "Are you not loyal to England?" "To England and to other things." "To England and Arabia both?" "And is that possible?" "I think you are another of these desert-loving English." "Doughty, Stanhope Gordon of Khartoum." "No Arab loves the desert." "We love water and green trees." "There is nothing in the desert." "And no man needs nothing." "Or is it that you think we are something you can play with because we are a little people, a silly people greedy, barbarous and cruel?" "Or do you know, lieutenant, in the Arab city of Cordoba were two miles of lighting in the streets when London was a village." "Yes, you were great." "Nine centuries ago." "Time to be great again, my lord." "Which is why my father made this war upon the Turks." "My father, Mr. Lawrence, not the English." "But my father is old and I I long for the vanished gardens of Cordoba." "However, before the gardens must come the fighting." "To be great again, it seems that we need the English or...." "Or?" "What no man can provide, Mr. Lawrence." "We need a miracle." "Aqaba." "Aqaba." "From the land." "You are mad." "To come to Aqaba by land we should have to cross the Nefud Desert." "That's right." "The Nefud cannot be crossed." "I'll cross it if you will." "You?" "It takes more than a compass, Englishman." "The Nefud is the worst place God created." "I can't answer for the place." "Only for myself." "Fifty men?" "Fifty?" "Against Aqaba?" "If 50 men came out of the Nefud they would be 50 men other men might join." "The Howeitat are there, I hear." "The Howeitat are brigands." "They'll sell themselves to anyone." "Good fighters, though." "Good" "Yes." "There are guns at Aqaba." "They face the sea, Sherif Ali, and cannot be turned around." "From the landward side, there are no guns at Aqaba." "With good reason. lt cannot be approached from the landward side." "Certainly the Turks don't dream of it." "Aqaba's over there." "It's only a matter of going." "You are mad." "And where are you going, lieutenant?" "With 50 of my men." "To work your miracle." "Blasphemy is a bad beginning for such a journey." "Who told you?" "Ali did." "Why not you?" "You are falling back from Yenbo, sir?" "Yes, I must." "But I will spare these to you." "Did Ali break confidence to tell me?" "Sherif Ali owes you his allegiance, my lord." "Yet you did not tell Colonel Brighton." "No." "Since you do know we can claim to arrive in the name of Feisal of Mecca." "Yes, Lieutenant Lawrence, you may claim it." "But in whose name do you ride?" "Sherif, I caught them." "They have tracked us." "They were here. I caught them." "Why are you here?" "Boy!" "To serve Lord Lawrence, sherif." "This is true, Lawrence." "They do wish it." "You have been tracking us." "You were told to stay." "No, sherif." "Our camel strayed." "We followed her." "She led us here to be Lord Lawrence's servants." "lt is the will of Allah." "Blasphemy." "Don't do that." "No, Lawrence, these are not servants." "These are outcasts, parent-less." "Be warned." "They are not suitable." "They sound very suitable." "You can ride with the baggage." "These are not servants." "These are worshippers." "One shilling, every week?" "That is fair." "Each?" "No." "That is too much." "All right." "They will be lucky for you." "Allah favours the compassionate." "There is the railway." "And that is the desert." "From here until the other side, no water but what we carry." "For the camels, no water at all." "If the camels die we die." "And in 20 days they will start to die." "There's no time to waste, then, is there?" "I was thinking." "You were drifting." "Yes. lt will not happen again." "Be warned, you were drifting." "It will not happen again." "That water is wasted." "From now on, we must travel by night and rest while it is too hot to travel." "A few hours each day." "Why don't we start now?" "No." "We will rest now." "Three hours." "Fine." "I'll wake you." "Do we rest here?" "There is no rest now short of water." "The other side of that." "And how much of that is there?" "I'm not sure." "But however much, it must be crossed before tomorrow's sun gets up." "This is the sun's anvil." "Have we done it?" "No, but we're off the anvil." "Thank God for that anyway." "Yes, thank Him." "Lawrence, I do not think you know how you have tempted Him." "I know." "We've done it." "God willing." "When do we reach the wells?" "God willing, midday." "Then we've done it." "Thank Him, Lawrence." "Thank Him." "Gasim's." "What's happened to him?" "God knows." "Why don't you stop?" "For what?" "He will be dead by midday." "We must go back." "What for, to die with Gasim?" "In one hour comes the sun." "In God's name, understand!" "We cannot go back!" "I can." "Take the boys." "If you go back, you kill yourself, is all." "Gasim you have killed already." "Get out of my way." "Gasim's time is come, Lawrence." "It is written." "Nothing is written!" "Go back, then!" "What did you bring us here for with your blasphemous conceit?" "English blasphemer!" "Aqaba?" "Was it Aqaba?" "You will not be at Aqaba, English!" "Go back, blasphemer but you will not be at Aqaba." "I shall be at Aqaba." "That is written." "In here." "English!" "English!" "Lawrence!" "Daud!" "Nothing is written." "Al Lawrence." "Farraj." "Wash." "Al Lawrence." "Truly, for some men nothing is written unless they write it." "Not Al Lawrence." "Just Lawrence." "Al Lawrence is better." "True." "Your father too, just Mr. Lawrence?" "My father is Sir Thomas Chapman." "ls that a lord?" "A kind of lord." "Then when he dies, you too will be a lord." "No." "You have an elder brother." "But then, I do not understand this." "Your father's name is Chapman." "He didn't marry my mother." "I see." "I'm sorry." "It seems to me that you are free to choose your own name, then." "Yes, I suppose I am." "Al Lawrence is best." "All right, I'll settle for Al Lawrence." "They are the robes of a sherif of the Beni Wejh." "Very fine." "Great honour." "The honour is to us." "Salaam, sherif." "ls it permitted?" "Surely." "He for whom nothing is written may write himself a clan." "They are good for riding." "Try." "What are you doing, Englishman?" "As you see." "Are you alone?" "Almost." "Are you with those dogs drinking at my well?" "Yours?" "I am Auda Abu Tayi." "I've heard of another man of that name." "Other?" "What other?" "The Auda I'd heard of wouldn't need to summon help to look after his wells." "He must be a great hero." "He is." "He wouldn't refuse water to men coming out of Nefud Desert." "Now, would he not?" "No, that must be some other man." "Here is my help." "Son, what fashion is this?" "Harith, Father." "What manner of Harith?" "A Beni Wejh sherif." "And is he Harith?" "No, Father, English." "Son they are stealing our water." "Tell them we are coming." "Tell them." "Empty that!" "Do not!" "It is Auda of the Howeitat who speaks." "It is Ali of the Harith who answers." "Harith." "Ali." "Does your father still steal?" "No." "Does Auda take me for one of his own bastards?" "No." "There is no resemblance." "Alas, you resemble your father." "Auda flatters me." "You are easily flattered." "I knew your father well." "Did you know your own?" "We are 50, you are two." "How if we shot you down?" "Why, then you have a blood feud with the Howeitat." "Do you desire it?" "Not the generals in Cairo nor the sultan himself desire that." "Call off your men." "This honours the unworthy." "I've only just begun to teach him." "And what are you teaching him today?" "Howeitat hospitality?" "Be not clever with me, English." "Who is he?" "A friend of Prince Feisal's." "So you desire my hospitality?" "Yes." "is he your tongue?" "We do desire it." "Then it is given, if you will take it." "I'm at my summer camp, a poor place." "Well, to me it seems a poor place." "Some men find it marvellous." "Tomorrow, maybe I will allow the Turks to buy you, friends of Feisal." "But dine with me." "Dine with Auda, English." "Dine with the Howeitat, Harith." "It is my pleasure that you dine with me in Wadi Rumm!" "This thing you work against Aqaba what profit do you hope from it?" "We work it for Feisal of Mecca." "The Harith do not work for profit." "Well, if it is in a man to be a servant, Sherif Ali he could find worse masters than Feisal." "But I...." "I cannot serve." "You permit the Turks to stay in Aqaba." "Yes, it is my pleasure." "We do not work this thing for Feisal." "No?" "For the English, then?" "For the Arabs." "The Arabs?" "The Howeitat, Ageyil, Ruala, Beni Sahkr, these I know." "I have even heard of the Harith." "But the Arabs?" "What tribe is that?" "They're a tribe of slaves." "They serve the Turks." "Well, they are nothing to me." "My tribe is the Howeitat." "Who work only for profit." "Who work at Auda's pleasure." "And Auda's pleasure is to serve the Turks." "Serve?" "I serve?" "It is the servant who takes money." "I am Auda Abu Tayi." "Does Auda serve?" "No!" "Does Auda Abu Tayi serve?" "No!" "I carry 23 great wounds, all got in battle." "75 men have I killed with my own hands, in battle." "I scatter, I burn my enemies tents." "I take away their flocks and herds." "The Turks pay me a golden treasure, yet I am poor!" "Because I am a river to my people." "is that service?" "No." "And yet now it seems Auda has grown old." "And lost his taste for fighting." "It is well you say it in my tent, thou old tulip." "Yet this is a tulip that the Turks could not buy." "Why should they wish to?" "Now...." "l will tell you what they pay me, and you will tell me if this is a servant's wages." "They pay me, month by month 1 00 golden guineas." "1 50, Auda." "Who told you that?" "l have long ears." "And a long tongue between them." "1 00, 1 50, what matters?" "It's a trifle." "A trifle which they take from a great box they have." "In Aqaba." "ln Aqaba?" "Where else?" "You trouble me like women." "Friends, we've been foolish." "Auda won't come to Aqaba." "For money?" "No." "For Feisal?" "No!" "Nor to drive away the Turks." "He will come because it is his pleasure." "Thy mother mated with a scorpion." "Make God your agent!" "Aqaba!" "Aqaba!" "God be with you." "God be with you." "God be with you." "God be with you." "Yes." "Aqaba." "Tomorrow we will go and get it." "Do you think we shall?" "Yes." "If you are right about the guns." "He killed." "He dies." "This is the end of Aqaba." "One of our men murdered Auda's man." "Why?" "Theft?" "Blood feud?" "It makes no matter why." "Ali!" "It is an ancient wound." "I didn't come here to watch a tribal bloodbath." "It is the law, Lawrence." "The law says the man must die." "If he dies, will that content the Howeitat?" "Yes." "Sherif Ali!" "If none of Lord Auda's men harms any of yours..." "...will that content the Harith?" "Yes." "Then I will execute the law." "I have no tribe." "And no one is offended." "Gasim." "Did you do it?" "Well, Lawrence...." "What ails the Englishman?" "That that he killed was the man he brought out of the Nefud." "It was written, then." "Better to have left him." "It was execution, Lawrence." "No shame in that." "Besides, it was necessary." "You gave life and you took it." "The writing is still yours." "Auda Abu Tayi!" "The miracle is accomplished." "Garlands for the conqueror." "Tribute for the prince." "Flowers for the man." "I'm none of those things, Ali." "What, then?" "Don't know." "Thanks." "My God, I love this country." "What!" "No gold in Aqaba!" "Auda, I found it!" "That's a pity." "Ali, get a message down the coast to Yenbo." "Tell Feisal to find boats, any boats and bring the Arab army here to Aqaba, quickly." "And you?" "I'm going to tell the generals in Cairo." "Yes, cross Sinai." "Come on!" "Sinai?" "Yes." "With these?" "They'll be all right with me." "Look, Ali. lf any of your Bedouin arrived in Cairo and said:" ""We've taken Aqaba," the generals would laugh." "I see." "In Cairo you will put off these funny clothes." "You'll wear trousers and tell stories of our quaintness and barbarity and then they will believe you." "You're an ignorant man." "Paper." "Paper!" "There is no gold in Aqaba." "No gold." "No great box!" "Did Auda come to Aqaba for gold?" "For my pleasure, as you said." "But gold is honorable and Lawrence promised gold." "Lawrence lied." "See, Auda." ""The Crown of England promises to pay 5000 golden guineas to Auda Abu Tayi."" "Signed in His Majesty's absence by me." "In 1 0 days I'll be back with the gold." "With gold, with guns, with everything." "Ten days." "You'll cross Sinai?" "Why not?" "Moses did." "And you will take the children?" "Moses did." "Moses was a prophet and beloved of God." "He said there was gold here." "He lied." "He is not perfect." "Lord, can we not rest?" "I told you, no rest till they know that I have Aqaba." "Have you two slept in beds?" "Farraj?" "Daud?" "With sheets?" "Tomorrow the finest sheets in the finest room and hotel in Cairo." "I promise." "Then it shall be so, lord." "Look!" "Pillar of fire." "No, lord." "Dust." "My compass." "No matter." "If we ride west, we must strike the canal." "Due west." "Come on!" "Lawrence!" "Farraj!" "Farraj, don't!" "Don't!" "Don't!" "Why do you walk?" "But why, lord?" "But why, lord?" "There is room for both." "It serves no purpose." "Lawrence, look!" "It's all right, Farraj." "It's all right." "Who are you?" "Who are you?" "Daud!" "We're here, sir." "You taking him in there?" "Yes." "Here!" "Here." "You!" "And where the hell do you think you're going to, Mustapha?" "We are thirsty." "Mr." "Lawrence, is it?" "Yes." "Are you going to the officers' bar?" "Yes." "You can't take him in there, sir." "What do you think you look like?" "No, no." "You must go." "No, no." "Go, effendi, go!" "Get out!" "You must get out!" "Get out!" "We want two large glasses of lemonade." "This is a bar for British officers." "We are not particular." "Are you off your head?" "No." "Oddly enough I'm not." "Just clear out of here, will you?" "Get that boy out of here." "Corporal, we'll have this one out anyway." "Get that wog out of here." "Clear off." "What's going on?" "lt's Lawrence, sir." "Lemonade with ice." "Explain yourself." "We've taken Aqaba." "Taken Aqaba?" "Who has?" "We have." "Our side in this war has." "The wogs have." "We have." "He likes your lemonade." "You mean the Turks have gone?" "No, they're still there but they've no boots." "Prisoners, sir." "We took them prisoners." "The entire garrison." "That's not true." "We killed some." "Too many, really." "I'll manage it better next time." "There's been a lot of killing one way or another." "Cross my heart and hope to die, it's all perfectly true." "lt isn't possible." "Yes, it is." "I did it." "You'd better talk to Allenby." "General Allenby?" "He's in command." "Murray's gone." "That's a step in the right direction." "First I want a room." "With a bed, with sheets." "Yes, of course." "lt's for him." "Right." "You want a bed yourself, don't you?" "See Allenby first, though." "Will he see me?" "I think so." "Do that, then." "l'd better shave." "Yes, you had." "You'd better get into some trousers too." "" Undisciplined." "Unpunctual." "Untidy." "Several languages." "Knowledge of music literature." "Knowledge of...." "You're an interesting man, there's no doubt about it." "Who told you to take Aqaba?" "Nobody." "Sir." "Sir." "Then why did you?" "Aqaba's important." "Why is it important?" "lt's the Turkish route to the canal." "Not anymore." "They're coming through Beersheba." "l know, but we've gone to Gaza." "So?" "So that left Aqaba behind your right." "True." "And it will be further behind your right when you go for Jerusalem." "Am I going for Jerusalem?" "Yes." "Very well." "Aqaba behind my right." "It threatened El' Arish and Gaza." "Anything else?" "Yes." "Aqaba's linked with Medina." "Do you think we should shift them out of Medina now?" "No. I think you should leave them there." "You acted without orders, you know." "Shouldn't officers use their initiative at all times?" "Not really. lt's awfully dangerous." "Yes, I know." "Already?" "Yes." "I'm promoting you major." "I don't think that's a very good idea." "I didn't ask you." "I want you to go back and carry on the good work." "No." "Thank you, sir." "Why not?" "Well, I, it's...." "Let me see now...." "l killed two people." "I mean, two Arabs." "One was a boy." "That was yesterday." "I led him into a quicksand." "The other was a man." "That was before Aqaba, anyway." "I had to execute him with my pistol." "There was something about it I didn't like." "Well, naturally." "No." "Something else." "That's all right." "Let it be a warning." "No." "Something else." "What, then?" "I enjoyed it." "Rubbish." "Rubbish and nerves." "You're tired." "What do you mean coming dressed like that?" "Amateur theatricals?" "Yes." "Entirely." "Let me see that hat thing or whatever it is." "Fascinating gear they wear." "How would I look in this, Harry?" "Damn ridiculous, sir." "Here, you keep it." "What I'm trying to say is I don't think I'm fit for it." "Really?" "What do you think, Dryden?" "Before he did it, sir, I'd have said it couldn't be done." "Brighton?" "l know what he thinks." "I think you should recommend a decoration, sir." "I don't think it matters what his motives were." "It was a brilliant bit of soldiering." "Mr." "Perkins!" "Sir!" "Let's have a drink, gentlemen." "You've heard about this, Mr. Perkins?" "Yes, sir." "What do you think about it?" "Bloody marvellous, sir." "Well done." "Thank you, Mr. Perkins." "Sir!" "Come on, then." "You're a clever man, sir." "No, but I know a good thing when I see one." "That's fair, surely?" "If I need a breakthrough to Jerusalem, I must concentrate, not dissipate." "Bravo." "You know better?" "I fight like Clausewitz, then you fight like Saxe." "We should do very well indeed, shouldn't we?" "Easy, gentlemen, please." "Give us a drink." "Of course, sir." "I'm here at the invitation of Major Lawrence." "Tracy." "Shall we go outside?" "So you hold bound the Turkish desert army?" "Yes." "With 1 000 Arabs?" "1 000 Arabs means 1 000 knives." "Delivered anywhere, day or night." "It means 1 000 camels." "That means 1 000 packs of high explosives and 1 000 crack rifles." "We can cross Arabia while Johnny Turk is still turning round." "I'll smash his railways." "While he mends, I'll smash them somewhere else." "In 1 3 weeks I can have Arabia in chaos." "You are going back, then?" "Yes." "Of course I'm going back." "Well, if we can see it, so can the Turk." "If he finds he's using four divisions to fend off a handful of bandits he'll withdraw." "He daren't withdraw." "Arabia's part of his empire." "If he gets out now, he'll never get back again." "l wonder who will." "No one will." "Arabia's for the Arabs now." "That's what I've told them anyway." "That's what they think." "That's why they're fighting." "Oh, surely." "They've only one suspicion." "That we'll let them drive the Turks out and then move in ourselves." "I've told them that that's false, that we have no ambitions in Arabia." "Have we?" "I'm not a politician, thank God." "Have we any ambition in Arabia, Dryden?" "Difficult question, sir." "I want to know, sir, if I can tell them in your name that we've no ambitions in Arabia." "Certainly." "2000 small arms, not enough." "I need five." "Right." "Money. lt'll have to be sovereigns." "They don't like paper." "lnstructors for the Lewis guns." "Right." "More money." "How much more?" "25,000 now." "A lot more later." "Dryden?" "lt can be done, sir." "A couple of armoured cars." "Right." "Field artillery." "Right." "I'll give you every blessed thing I can because I know you'll use it." "Congratulations." "Thank you for your hospitality, gentlemen." "Congratulations!" "Are you really going to give them artillery, sir?" "I was wondering that, sir." "Might be difficult to get it back." "Give them artillery and you've made them independent." "Then I can't give it to them, can I?" "For you to say." "No, it's not." "I've got orders to obey, thank God." "Not like that poor devil." "He's riding the whirlwind." "Let's hope we're not." "Excuse me, friend." "Who do these bags belong to?" "To Prince Feisal." "You're not Prince Feisal?" "No." "You know him though?" "He is my master. I am his servant." "Can you read?" "Chicago Courier is my paper, but my work is syndicated in America." "I understood so from your letter, Mr. Bentley." "Now...." "Where can I find Major Lawrence?" "ls that what you have come for?" "Not altogether, sir, no." "Well, Mr. Bentley, you will find Major Lawrence with my army." "That's what I meant, sir." "Where can I find your army?" "I don't know." "Last week they were near El Ghira." "Ghira?" "Yes, I fear you have a long journey." "Can you ride a camel?" "l've never tried." "Take a mule." "Avoid Mellaha, the Turks are there." "In Mellaha now?" "They move fast." "They do." "But not so fast as we do, you will find." "Myself I am going to Cairo." "As you know." "Yes." "There's work for me there of a different kind." "Yes." "I know you've been given no artillery." "That is so." "You're handicapped?" "It restricts us to small things." "It's intended to." "Do you know General Allenby?" "Watch out for Allenby." "He's a slim customer." "Excuse me?" "A clever man." "Slim customer. lt's very good." "I'll certainly watch out for him." "You're being very sympathetic." "Your Highness, we Americans were once a colonial people." "We naturally feel sympathetic to any people who struggle for their freedom." "Very gratifying." "Also, my interests are the same as yours." "You want your story told." "I badly want a story to tell." "Ah, now you are talking turkey, are you not?" "I will give you a guide and a letter." "And before I leave here which must be presently I will have some facts and figures put on paper for you." "You know that we are destroying the Turkish railways." "I do, sir." "Major Lawrence is in charge of all this, is he?" "My army is made up of tribes." "The tribes are led by the tribal leaders." "Your people do think very highly of Major Lawrence?" "Oh, yes." "And the rightly." "In this country, Mr. Bentley the man who gives victory in battle is prized beyond every other man." "One figure I can give you from my head because it never leaves my head." "Since starting this campaign four months ago, we have lost 37 wounded 1 56 dead." "You remark the disproportion between our dead and wounded." "Yeah." "Four times as many." "That's because those too badly wounded to bring away, we ourselves kill." "We leave no wounded for the Turks." "You mean...?" "We leave no wounded for the Turks." "In their eyes, we are not soldiers but rebels." "Rebels, wounded or whole, are not protected by the Geneva Code and are treated harshly." "How harshly?" "More harshly than I hope you can imagine." "I see." "Our own prisoners are taken care of until the British can relieve us of them, according to the Code." "l should like you to notice that." "Yes, sir." "is that the influence of Major Lawrence?" "Why should you suppose?" "It's just that I heard in Cairo that Major Lawrence has a horror of bloodshed." "That is exactly so." "With Major Lawrence, mercy is a passion." "With me, it is merely good manners." "You may judge which motive is the more reliable." "And now, perhaps...." "Oh, sure, sure." "Thank you, sir." "Can you manage the letter--?" "I'll do everything I have said if you will tell me truly the nature of your interest in my people and Major Lawrence." "It's very simple, sir." "I'm looking for a hero." "Indeed." "You do not seem a romantic man." "Oh, no." "But influential men back home believe it's time for America to lend her weight to the struggle against Germany." "And Turkey." "I've been sent to find material to show our people that this war is...." "Enjoyable?" "Hardly that, sir." "But to show it in its more adventurous aspects." "You look for a figure who will draw your country towards war." "All right." "Yes." "Lawrence is your man." "Stop!" "Stop it!" "Stop it!" "Come on, men!" "Lawrence!" "Good God!" "God!" "Jiminy!" "Never seen a man killed with a sword before." "Why don't you take a picture?" "Wish I had." "How is it with thee, Lawrence?" "Am I in this?" "Did you take his picture?" "Yeah." "You are using up your nine lives very quickly." "Charming company you keep." "Auda?" "He's a bit old-fashioned." "He thinks these things will steal his virtue." "He thinks you're a kind of thief." "It's all right to take your picture?" "All right." "Okay." "Just walk." "Major Lawrence!" "Yes, sir, that's my baby." "This looting has got to stop!" "It is customary." "It's theft." "And theft makes thieves." "I would not say that to Auda." "lt is their payment, colonel." "Payment." "Truly." "Are not British soldiers paid?" "They don't go home when being paid." "They are not free to." "Well, there's another lot you've seen the last of." "They'll come back." "He says they'll come back." "Will they?" "Not this year, Lawrence." "Look, Lawrence, how many men do you think you'll have left?" "200?" "Less." "Well, then?" "I said, they'll come back." "You badly hurt?" "Not hurt at all." "Didn't you know?" "They can only kill me with a golden bullet." "It is for children." "I have set myself to learn again." "What are you learning from this?" "Politics." "You'll be a democracy in this country?" "You gonna have a parliament?" "I will tell you that when I have a country." "Did I answer well?" "You answered without saying anything." "That's politics." "You learn quickly." "I have a good teacher." "Yeah." "How's your hurt?" "Fine." "Before I return to the fleshpots, which I shall be very glad to do may I put two questions to you, straight?" "I'd be interested to hear you put a question straight." "One." "What, in your opinion, do these people hope to gain from this war?" "They hope to gain their freedom." "Freedom." ""They hope to gain their freedom."" "There's one born every minute." "They're going to get it." "I'm going to give it to them." "The second question?" "Well, I was going to ask what is it that attracts you personally to the desert?" "It's clean." "Well, now that's a very illuminating answer." "May I take one farewell picture?" "I gave Math Budad two lamps for it." "One clock for two lamps." "A fair bargain." "Fair?" "I robbed him." "Trash." "I must find something honorable." "Honorable?" "The year is running out, Brighton." "I must find something honorable." "Now you may blow up my train." "And what will you do now?" "Now I go home." "They will carry my toys." "They will carry my toys too, see?" "Major Lawrence will campaign this winter." "But you got what you wanted, so you're going home, is that it?" "Of course." "When Lawrence has got what he wants, he will go home." "When you've got what you want, you will go home." "No, I shan't, Auda." "Then you are a fool." "Maybe." "But I am not a deserter." "Give thanks to God, Brighton that when He made you a fool, He gave you a fool's face." "You are an impudent rascal." "I must go, Lawrence, before I soil myself with a fool's blood." "Like talking to a brick wall." "So what will you do now?" "What can you do?" "I'll go north." "That's what Allenby wants." "Allenby wanted the Arab army behind Deraa." "Then that's where l'll take it." "Tell Allenby to hurry up, or we'll be in Deraa before he's in Jerusalem." "Won't we?" "Train, Farraj." "Yeah, Lawrence." "Hide yourself, my friend." "Detonator." "All right, fetch another." "Pardon, Lawrence. I put" "Plenty of time." "Fetch another." "Farraj?" "What happened?" "Detonator." "A detonator!" "He cannot ride." "If they take him alive, you know what they'll do to him." "Daud will be angry with you." "Salute him for me." "What will you do now?" "Go north." "With twenty?" "What would you recommend me to do?" "What would you recommend?" "He hasn't 1 /1 0 so many men, sir." "He's lied, in fact." "Yes and no." "He doesn't claim to have done anything he hasn't done." "Then there is an Arab north army." "No, sir, he has lied about that." "Any idea why?" "lt's his army, I suppose." "lt's Prince Feisal's army." "Do you think he's gone native, Harry?" "No." "He would if he could, I think." "Not my line of country." "lt doesn't matter." "Just curious." "What matters is I believed it." "The Turks believe it." "They are offering 20,000 pounds for him." "Good heavens." "Shouldn't say he had long to live." "Well, he's a brave man" "Surely. lf he's still going north with 50 men, he doesn't lack guts." "I wonder if they'd offer that much for me." "What about next year?" "Will they still come back?" "I wouldn't be surprised." "They think he's a kind of prophet." "They do or he does?" "Now may I speak?" "Yes." "One more failure and you will find yourself alone." "l do not include myself." "l do not include the others." "So say they love you." "The more reason to be thrifty with them." "Give them something to do that can be done." "But you, no." "They must move mountains, walk on water." "That's right." "That's right." "Who are you to know what can be done?" "If we'd done what you thought could be done, we'd be in Yenbo now." "Whatever I ask them to do can be done." "They know that if you don't." "Do you think I'm just anybody?" "Do you?" "My friends, who will walk on water with me?" "Who will come with me into Deraa?" "Deraa is garrisoned." "Will you take 20 against 2000?" "l'll go by myself if I have to." "Why?" "I told the English generals the Arab revolt would be in Deraa when they'd be in Jerusalem." "Or perhaps you are here for the English generals." "Who says this?" "Rumour." "That is not an argument." "Oh, argument." "This afternoon I will take the Arab revolt into Deraa while the Arabs argue." "Can you pass for an Arab in an Arab town?" "Yes. lf one of you would lend me some dirty clothes." "It's madness." "What are you looking for?" "Some way to announce myself." "Be patient with him, God." "Do you not see how they look at you?" "Peace, Ali, I am invisible." "Halt!" "Walk on." "Halt!" "Walk on." "You and you." "You." "You have blue eyes." "l say you have blue eyes." "Yes, effendi." "Are you Circassian?" "Yes, effendi." "How old are you?" "Twenty-seven, effendi." "I think." "You look older." "You have had a lot of experience." "It's an interesting face." "I am surrounded by cattle." "He wouldn't know an interesting face from a sow's belly." "I have been is Deraa now for three and a half years." "If they posted me to the dark side of the moon, I could not be more isolated." "You haven't the least idea what I'm talking about." "No, effendi." "Have you?" "No." "That would be too lucky." "Where did you get that?" "lt's old, effendi." "No, this is recent." "You are a deserter." "No, effendi." "Yes, you are a deserter." "But from which army?" "Not that it matters at all." "A man cannot be always in uniform." "Your skin is very fair." "Beat him." "To me!" "Sleep." "Sleep." "Eat." "Eat." "You have a body, like other men." "Good." "Then sleep." "Better?" "Much better." "You were right." "Rest, rest." "Can you not learn?" "Oh, I've learned all right." "I'm going, Ali." "Why?" "Why?" "Heavens." "Why?" "I've come to the end of myself, I suppose." "And the end of the Arab revolt?" "I'm not the Arab revolt, Ali." "I'm not even Arab." "A man can be whatever he wants." "You said." "I'm sorry. I thought it was true." "You proved it." "Look, Ali." "Look." "That's me." "What colour is it?" "That's me." "And there's nothing I can do about it." "A man can do whatever he wants." "You said." "He can but he can't want what he wants." "This is the stuff that decides what he wants." "You may as well know." "I would've told them anything." "I would've told them who I am." "I would've told them where you were." "l tried to." "So would any man." "Well, any man is what I am." "And I'm going back to Allenby to ask him for a job that any man can do." "Allenby's in Jerusalem." "l'll make easy stages." "You?" "Oh, yes." "Easy stages." "Look, Ali, I think I see a way of being just ordinarily happy." "Can I take this?" "It is not clean." "No, but it's warm." "And these having led them here, have you no care for them?" "You lead them." "They're yours." "Trust your own people." "And let me go back to mine." "l say, don't forget those form fives." "All right." "Mind if I join you?" "Honoured, sir." "Good to be back." "We heard you were, sir." "What's doing out there?" "Where?" "Arabia?" "Well, yes, sir." "Nothing much." "Wrong time of year." "What's doing here?" "We're settling in." "We built a squash court." "Jolly good." "Well, I have to go up there." "It's borrowed." "Someone pinched mine." "Bloody wogs." "Yes, probably." "Jolly good about the squash court." "Lays it on a bit thick, doesn't he?" "Morning." "Good morning." "Good to be back." "l'll believe you, sir." "No, really it is." "Hello." "Morning." "You're to go right in." "Lawrence." "Or is it Major Lawrence?" "Sir." "Well, general, I will leave you." "Major Lawrence doubtless has reports to make about my people and their weakness and the need to keep them in the British interest." "And the French interest too." "We must not forget the French." "I told you, no such treaty exists." "Yes, general, you have lied most bravely, but not convincingly." "I know this treaty does exist." "Treaty, sir?" "He does it better than you, general." "But then, of course, he is almost an Arab." "You really don't know?" "Then what the devil's this?" "It's my request for release from Arabia, sir." "Why?" "Are you sure you haven't heard of the Sykes-Picot Treaty?" "No." "l can guess." "Don't guess." "Tell him." "Well, now...." "Mr. Sykes is as English civil servant." "Monsieur Picot is a French civil servant." "Mr. Sykes and Monsieur Picot met, and they agreed that after the war France and England should share the Turkish Empire." "including Arabia." "They signed an agreement, not a treaty, sir." "An agreement to that effect." "There may be honour among thieves, but there's none in politicians." "And let's have no displays of indignation." "You may not have known, but you certainly had suspicions." "If we've told lies, you've told half-lies." "And a man who tells lies, like me, merely hides the truth." "But a man who tells half-lies has forgotten where he put it." "The truth is I'm an ordinary man." "You might have told me that, Dryden." "And I want an ordinary job, sir." "That's my reason for resigning." "It's personal." "Personal?" "Yes, sir." "Personal?" "You're a serving officer in the field." "And as it happens, a damned important one." "Are you mad?" "No, and if you don't mind, I'd rather not go mad." "That's my reason too." "Look, I'm making my big push on Damascus the 1 6th of next month and you are part of it." "Can you understand that?" "You're an important part of the big push!" "I don't want to be part of your big push!" "What about your Arab friends?" "I have no Arab friends!" "I don't want Arab friends!" "What in hell do you want, Lawrence?" "I've told you, I just want my ration of common humanity." "Lawrence." "Yes?" "Nothing." "Sorry I interrupted, sir." "That's all right." "Thank you, Mr. Dryden." "Thank you, sir." "Why don't we...?" "There's blood on your back." "Do you want a doctor?" "No." "Tell me what happened." "Say, what goes on in there?" "Nothing." "Oh, come on!" "No, really." "Nothing at all." "ls the man in trouble?" "I expect so." "We all have troubles." "Life's a vale of troubles." "Let me know if the man's in trouble." "I've got a claim in that man." "What claim?" "l've made that boy a hero." "When the war's over, he can be anything he wants." "Yes." "Well, at the moment he wants to be somebody else." "Will you kindly allow me to pass?" "Walk away, Dryden, walk away." "Always walking away, aren't you?" "Well, I'll tell you." "It's a clash of temperament that's going on in there." "Inevitably, one of them's half-mad and the other, wholly unscrupulous." "I believe your name will be a household word when you'd have to go to the war museum to find who Allenby was." "You're the most extraordinary man I ever met." "Leave me alone." "Leave me alone." "That's a feeble thing to say." "l know I'm not ordinary." "That's not what I'm saying." "All right, I'm extraordinary." "What of it?" "Not many people have a destiny, Lawrence." "It's a terrible thing for a man to funk it if he has." "Are you speaking from experience?" "No." "You're guessing, then." "Suppose you're wrong." "Why suppose that?" "We both know I'm right." "Yes. I said, yes." "After all" "The 1 6th?" "Can you do it?" "I'll give you a lot of money." "Artillery?" "l can't." "They won't be coming for money, not the best of them." "They'll be coming for Damascus." "Which I'm going to give them." "That's all I want." "All you want is someone holding down the Turkish Right." "But I'm going to give them Damascus." "We'll get there before you do." "And when we've got it, we'll keep it." "Tell the politicians to burn their paper now." "Fair enough." "Fair?" "What's fair got to do with it?" "It's going to happen." "I shall want quite a lot of money." "All there is." "Not that much." "The best of them won't come for money." "They'll come for me." "No pictures!" "It's not for you, it's for Lawrence." "He doesn't mind having his picture taken." "He doesn't mind at all." "Well, there's only one Lawrence." "Have you met Lawrence since he's come back?" "Yes." "Changed, hasn't he?" "No." "Oh, I'd say he had." "Different man, I'd say." "What did that Turkish general do to him in Deraa?" "He was the same man after Deraa." "The same man, humbled." "What did the English do to him in Jerusalem?" "Search me." "Ask Lawrence." "l did." "What did he say?" "He laughed." "He told me to gather the Harith here." "He offered me money." "Did you take it?" "No." "But many did." "What is this?" "This is my bodyguard." "There is not a man without a price on his head." "There's a price on my head too." "But these are murderers." "The sheiks will hang these men." "These men are mine." "Lawrence, these things know nothing of the Arab revolt." "You, Ghitan of Aleppo." "Sherif?" "Where do we ride?" "Damascus, sherif." "Aye, but for what?" "Sherif, for Lawrence." "You have bought these things." "l bought half the men here, Ali." "That is different." "These are not ordinary men." "I don't want ordinary men." "Hut!" "Damascus!" "Damascus!" "Damascus!" "Damascus!" "Damascus!" "Very well, gentlemen." "The cavalry's gone through Mazril and Deraa." "Very good, by the way." "Very good indeed." "Now your turn." "If the enemy's retreating in any order, which we'll assume" "Certainly." "He can't be far from Mallud in which case I can have him within range by 0900 hours tomorrow." "Splendid." "Philip." "These are the last infantry supports going up now." "But Mallud, we could have the fusiliers there by Wednesday." "That'll do for now." "The guns are what matter." "Any questions?" "This Arab army on the right, sir, what's it consist of?" "Irregular cavalry, sir." "About 2000." "Where are they now?" "Can only know by being with them." "Then get with them. I want to know." "Pound them, Charley." "Pound them." "God help the men who lie under that." "They're Turks." "God help them." "Well, he's got the bit between his teeth all right." "Cocky?" "More than cocky, sir." "He's got the bit between his teeth all right." "I tell you, sir, I think he'll get to Damascus before we do." "Unless...." "Unless?" "Well, there's a Turkish column in front of him, out of Mazril." "What do the Turks have in Mazril?" "A brigade, sir." "I wonder where they are now." "No prisoners." "Damascus, Lawrence." "Lawrence, not this." "Go round." "Damascus, Lawrence, Damascus." "No prisoners." "This was Talaal's village." "Talaal!" "Talaal!" "No prisoners!" "No prisoners!" "God." "God." "God!" "Enough." "Enough!" "Make them stop!" "Major!" "Major Lawrence!" "Jesus wept." "Jesus wept." "Does it surprise you, Mr. Bentley?" "Surely you know the Arabs are a barbarous people." "Barbarous and cruel." "Who but they?" "Who but they?" "Oh, you rotten man." "Here, let me take your rotten bloody picture." "For the rotten bloody newspapers." "These were cut last night, Lawrence, in Damascus." "Damascus!" "Take them to Sherif Ali." "Tell him." "Remind him." "ls Allenby in Damascus?" "Near." "Tell Sherif Ali that." "They are not ripe." "General salute!" "Present arms!" "Port arms!" "Lawrence is behind it, sir." "The whole town is plastered with the Arab flag." "When?" "A day and a night, sir." "They've been here a day and a night." "They've occupied the town." "They've done it." "He's set up his own headquarters in the town hall." "What else beside the town hall?" "Telephone exchange, post office, powerhouse hospitals, fire station." "Everything, sir." "They call themselves the Arab National Council and they're in the town hall." "Well, they're your pigeon, Harry." "What should we do?" "Get them out of it, sir, quick time." "How about that, Dryden?" "Not unless you want a full-scale rising." "What, then?" "When will Feisal be in Damascus?" "By special train in two days' time." "Two days." "Two days is what you asked for." "I can't keep him out any longer." "lsn't it enough?" "Yes." "Ample, I should think." "We can't just do nothing." "Why not?" "It's usually best." "Get us something to drink, Tracey." "And Tracey, all troops to remain quartered until further orders." "Does that apply to technical units?" "Technical units particularly." "Yes, sir." "Medicals too, sir?" "I'm afraid so, Harry." "Medicals too." "We here are neither Harith nor Howeitat nor any other tribe, but Arabs of the Arab Council, acting for Prince Feisal." "He insulted me." "Sherif Ali said that the telephones are in the care of the Howeitat and they have ceased to work." "And this is true." "They will not work because they are given no electricity." "The electricity is in the care of the Harith." "If you answer, there will be bloodshed." "You speak to me of bloodshed?" "I ask pardon of Auda Abu Tayi." "Humbly?" "Humbly, Harith?" "Yes, humbly." "This is a new trick." "Why is there no electricity?" "I have been to that electrical house, Lawrence." "There are three large machines." "He means generators!" "So." "One of them is burning." "They are of an incredible size, but helpless." "It is so of all machines." "Let them burn." "What need of telephones?" "The need is absolute." "Then we need English engineers." "No." "Take English engineers and you take English government." "Take" "Fire has broken out." "Where?" "The Jinsibi district." "lt is not a district that matters." "lt will spread!" "Then use the fire brigade!" "We have tried, but there is no force in the water." "Then you must carry it." "The Ruala do not carry water." "What else are they good for?" "We will hear petitions this afternoon." "This afternoon!" "l'll take this up after the war." "Surely we should do something, sir." "lt's an old man's sport." "Are you an old man, sir?" "All I can say is, sir, it's a heavy responsibility." "Sorry, sir." "Maybe it's the bulb." "No, sir." "It's the power." "They're leaving." "That's it, then." "Marvellous-looking beggars, aren't they?" "Leave it, Lawrence." "Come with me." "Come where?" "Back." "I know your heart." "What is it?" "is it this?" "I tell you, this is nothing." "is it the blood?" "The desert has dried up more blood than you could think of." "I pray that I may never see the desert again." "Hear me, God." "You will come." "There is only the desert for you." "What about you?" "No, I shall stay here and learn politics." "A very low occupation." "I had not thought of it when I met you." "You have tried very hard to give us Damascus." "It's what I came for." "And then it would be something." "Yes." "Much." "He is your friend?" "Take your hand away." "You love him." "l fear him." "Then why do you weep?" "If I fear him, who love him how must he fear himself, who hates himself?" "Take your hand away, Howeitat!" "So you are not yet entirely politician." "Not yet." "Well, these are new tricks, and I am an old dog." "And Allah be thanked." "I'll tell thee what being an Arab will be thornier than you suppose, Harith." "In all my years, I've never seen anything like it." "It comes within the jurisdiction of the Arab Council." "Under the circumstances, I think I must take over. immediately." "Under any circumstances at all, you must obey your orders." "No, sir, I will not." "Control yourself." "Now, go over to the town hall and see what they say." "We did what we could in the civic hospitals." "But you forgot the Turkish Military Hospital." "It has 600 beds." "There are about 2000 Turkish wounded in it." "All of whom are the responsibility of your precious Arab Council." "What's it like?" "This is outrageous!" "Outrageous!" "Outrageous!" "You filthy little wog!" "My friend Lawrence, if I may call him that." "" My friend Lawrence."" "How many men will claim the right to use that phrase?" "How proudly." "He longs for the greenness of his native land." "He pines for the Gothic cottages of Surrey, is it not?" "Already in imagination, he catches trout and all the activities of the English gentleman." "That's me you're describing, sir, not Colonel Lawrence." "You're promoted colonel." "Yes." "What for?" "Take the honour, colonel." "Be a little kind." "As a colonel, you'll have a cabin to yourself on the boat home." "Then, thank you." "Well, then Godspeed." "There's nothing further here for a warrior." "We drive bargains." "Old men's work." "Young men make wars, and the virtues of war are the virtues of young men." "Courage and hope for the future." "Then old men make the peace." "And the vices of peace are the vices of old men." "Mistrust and caution." "It must be so." "What I owe you is beyond evaluation." "The powerhouse, the telephone exchange, these I concede." "The pumping plant I must retain." "If you retain it, there will be no water." "l shall be glad of assistance." "Then you must bring down your flag." "I shall not, and if your men attempt it, my men will resist it." "Have you men?" "Enough of that." "It's a thing that makes an ugly incident." "I'm sure your government does not wish to appear at the peace conference as an aggressor." "I say!" "It's Lawrence, isn't it?" "May I shake your hand, sir?" "Just want to be able to say I'd done it, sir." "Haven't we met before?" "Don't think so, sir." "No, no, sir, I should remember that." "It is widely known the Arab Council took power in my name." "They have no power. lt's illusory." "Illusions can be very powerful." "Particularly when they take this form." "The world is delighted at the picture of Damascus liberated by the Arab army." "Led, may I remind you, by a British-serving officer." "Ah, yes." "But then Lawrence is a sword with two edges." "We are equally glad to be rid of him, are we not?" "I thought I was a hard man, sir." "You are merely a general." "I must be a king." "Excuse me, sir." "Well?" "Well it seems we're to have a British waterworks with an Arab flag on it." "Do you think it was worth it?" "Not my business." "Thank God I'm a soldier." "Yes, sir." "So you keep saying." "You, I suspect are chief architect of this compromise." "What do you think?" "Me, Your Highness?" "On the whole, I wish I'd stayed in Tunbridge Wells." "Well, sir." "Going home." "Home, sir." "Goodbye, Dolly, / must leave you" "Though it breaks my heart to go" "Subtitles by Gelula/sdl Corrected by Damavand2"

"Hey, Douglas." "How's it going?" "What did you do?" "Demoed the driveway." " Nice job too." " What's the problem?" "Well, you know-- It's the wrong driveway." "That's a problem, don't you think?" "2933, Vic!" "This is 2935." "Hey!" "We're in the wrong" "These guys are morons!" "I hate to say this." " This is gonna cost." " lt's gonna cost who?" "I'm in a bad way." "Money's very tight with me." "You know I can't afford to eat this." "Even if it was my fault-- which I'm not saying it was." "Shut up!" "What am I gonna do?" "Man, what am I gonna do?" "Here's what we're gonna do." "We're gonna do both driveways." "I don't care how long it takes." "Nobody goes home until we're finished." "And if you say one more word to me for the rest of the day..." "I'm gonna take a drywall hammer and beat you to death with it." "Got it?" "Makes total sense to me." "Thank you." "hello, Kinney." "Yeah." "Eddie, how you doing?" "problem this morning?" "Giving away free driveways?" "Why do you always have a crack when you come in the door?" "Listen." "Go ahead and fax those plans over." "Right now." "hold on." "I got another call." "Hi, hon." "I was just going to call you." "What's the matter?" "really?" "No. I know what it is." "It's the hot water heater." "I've been meaning to fix it." "Oh, shit!" "Franny!" "My fax machine's gone psycho again." "Yo." "What's up?" " Do you hate me?" " No, DeIl. I don't hate you." "Why are you trying to end my life?" "A guy in beverly hills says he's gonna sue me." " You destroyed his driveway?" " Yeah." "We did." "Like a prank?" "Not like a prank." "Look." "Don't give it a second thought." "It's my responsibility." "I'm gonna fix it on my own time." "What time would that be?" "'Cause Ted told me you haven't finished the Malibu job yet." "You know what I think?" "No, Ted." "What do you think?" "I think we'lI have to put in more hours." "This is not just a nine-to-five job." "That's not gonna get it done." "There's a saying where l worked last:" ""lf you don't come in on Saturday, don't bother coming in on Sunday."" "You're talking about working weekends?" "Weekends, nights, holidays-- whatever it takes." "I'm ready." "My office, two minutes." "Do you have any stegosauruses?" "No. I have an iguanodon and tyrannosaurus." "I fished a stegosaurus." "Hey, Dad." " Hey, dude." "How you doing?" " Good." "Good hand." "Hey, dude." "Did you look at the hot water heater?" "I just walked in the door." " Okay, Zack." "No bath tonight." " all right!" "Brush your teeth and go to bed." "You missed Campfire Girls." "Honey, I'm not in Campfire girls." "I'm a Brownie." "It was Jennifer's graduation." "Oh, man!" "I forgot!" " I phoned and reminded you." " I know." "I'm sorry." "I totally forgot." "My fault." "Was she upset?" "Of course." "Every other father was there." "Including the divorced ones." " What about the lesbian moms?" " Both of them." "Where is she now?" "In the den, drinking." "Funny." "She's asleep." "Where were you?" "You said you'd come." "I had to work late, babe." "King fired Richard DeGrazzi." "You're kidding." "Why?" "Because he does bad work." "I will say this for him." "He does it really slowly." "Who replaced him?" "I'lI give you a hint." "You sleep with him." " The video store guy." " Yeah." "The video store guy." "I knew you were dating." "I wasn't sure if you were sleeping with him." "Honey, that's great." "So it's like a promotion?" " Yeah." " It's not great." "Guess who's gonna do all the work that I was doing?" "You're gonna do all those jobs?" "Are they gonna give you more money?" "I think it's really more of a prestige thing, hon." "That's it." "They'lI probably give me a plaque or certificate... for just being so great." "Oh, God!" "No!" "This is ridiculous!" "We hardly even see you now!" "CouIdn't you tell him you don't wanna do it?" "Sure." "I could say no, if you wanna start catching your own food." "Don't worry. I can handle it." "It'Il be okay." "I'II go check on the water heater." "Jennifer Kinney." "I desire to seek the way that shall become a delight to my heart... for it'll bring me to the fire of human kindness... lighted by those who've gone before me on the Campfire trail." "Congratulations." "That's so great." "Gosh." "I don't know." "I'm gonna have to think about that." "You know, I really appreciate it." "Thank you." "well, you know I'lI call you." "Thanks." "all right." "Bye." " How you doing?" " You hungry?" "No." "I'm too tired to eat." "I'm just gonna have some cereal." " So, who was that?" " Valerie." " Who helped her dial the phone?" " Don't start." "The company just made her regional manager." " No kidding." " lt is so weird." "When I quit to have Zack, I was way ahead of her." "They thought more of me than of her." "She just called to tell you how great she's doing?" "well, no." "She offered me her old job now that she's been promoted." "So... you're thinking about going back to selling real estate?" "well, yeah." "What do you think?" "What do I think?" "Let's see." "The first couple months you'd be making practically nothing." "Right?" "'Cause, you know, it's hard." "Then we're paying out more money for child care." "You're working. I'm working." "Then we're both not going to Campfire Girls." "I was thinking if you could help out a little more with the kids." "How?" "When?" "How am I gonna work that out?" "I just meant in emergencies." "What?" "A real estate emergency?" "Hon... my whole life's an emergency." "I'm not going back to work, am I?" "We always said I would someday." "But now I realize I never will." "Take my job, okay?" "You go build condos!" "Make sure you're there at 6:00 in the morning, by the way." "call an exorcist." "I don't know where it came from." "I'm really sorry." "Laura, look. I'm really sorry." "This is stupid." "Here's all we need:" "We just need to get a schedule." "We'Il be okay." "We don't need a schedule." "We need a miracle." ""Gemini Institute" " Malibu, CA"" "Once we get the duct work in, this should fly." "I can't be two places at once." "You gotta cover me on this." "Is somebody paying you to watch her ass?" "You're doing an excellent job." "Help me out here" "Doug, we got a problem down here in the basement." "Oh, no!" "I don't believe this." "Have a seat." "Damn!" " Put your back into it!" " Move!" " Man, what is this?" " Fine." "Knock yourself out." "Shit!" "God!" "Damn it!" "Look, I'm sorry. I lost it." "I just went crazy." "We'Il get your water back on right away." "Geez." "This thing goes off every five minutes." " Tough business, isn't it?" " I don't know." "What do you do?" " Not mine." "Yours." " Oh, construction?" "Yeah." "really tough." "What do you do to relax?" " well, play golf." " That's a great game." "How often do you get out?" "well, Iet's see." "Never." "Yeah, never." "I'm gonna have to cut back though." "You don't have to live this way, you know?" "really?" "With all due respect, I forgot to go to medical school." "I can help you." " help me?" "How?" " Change your life." "What is it you guys do around here?" "We make miracles." "Sure." "call me." "I feel guilty because I don't spend enough time with my wife and kids." "And then I get resentful about it... because I feel like I should get a Iittle time for myself." "It's like, work is first... and my family is a close second." "I'm a distant third bringing up the rear." "I don't know." "Is that crazy?" "I don't know." "I'm not a psychiatrist." "Anyway, you don't need one." "These problems are not in your mind." "They're real." "They require real solutions." "well then... what do you do?" "I told you. I make miracles." "I create time." "I make clones." "well, okay." "Sit down." "I'm a geneticist." "Fifteen years ago I started cloning viruses." "Can't have too many viruses." "Then ten years ago I cloned an earthworm." "well, God bless you, sir." "And then, a chimp." "And then last year... welI" "Last year" " Hi, there." " Just in time." "hello." "This is Doug Kinney." "He's doing our new offices." "I know Doug." "He and I went over the plans one day." " Oh?" " You were sailing." "Wait a minute." " You understand what I'm suggesting?" " Yeah." "Sure." "What's not to understand?" "You xerox people." " In a way." " Sort of." "The procedure takes about two hours." " I don't know about that." " More or less." "And at the end you have everything you need." "What is it that-- you know-- that I need?" "Time." "all you need!" "For everything!" "Say I'm interested." "What would a-- you know-- nothing fancy, just the basic-- just, you know-- basic" "you know-- clone job cost?" " Doctor, we're ready for you." " Very good." "Doc?" "I hate to sound like a baby... but just promise me everything's gonna be all right." "You're gonna be fine." "There's nothing to worry about." "Thanks. I'm not gonna turn out to look like these guys, am I?" " Well, I hope not." " Okay." " Watch your head." " Goddamn." "That's right." "Just lie back and put your feet in the stirrups." "I'm sorry." "But did you see that movie, "The fly"?" "Jeff GoIdbIum has these enormous eyes." "peripheral vision is one thing, but it's a bad look." "And he's always eating everything with those little hands." " I don't wanna talk" " I'm sorry." " relax now." "Take it easy." "That's right." "Yeah, weIl-- What the hell is that thing?" "This is just gonna help you relax." "So far, it's not working." "I'm sorry." "My uncle went in for routine dental work." "He came out and was never the same." "I don't know if he got that suction thing lodged in his throat... but after this, he was always" ""Hey, Doug." "What's wrong?"" " Count backwards from 100." " Sure." "Like that's gonna work." "One hundred, ni" " Am I all right?" " You're fine." "well?" "I mean, is it-- You know, did it" "Is it a boy?" "I mean, I know it's a-- Did it work?" "is that it?" "I'm afraid you're it." "What do you mean, I'm it?" "I can't be it." " You mean, you think I'm the clone?" " That's right." "I can't be the clone." "I'm me." "He's gotta be the clone." "No." "See-- l'm me." "help me out here." "I am me, right?" "Look here." " Sit up." " l gotta be me." "Hold this." "Attaboy." "Now, look here." "You see there?" "I see a "2."" "There you go." "Wait a minute." "I remember everything." "I remember coming in here." "I remember putting this thing on." " I remember getting the shot." " Of course." "You have all of Doug's feelings and quirks... all of his memories, right up to the moment of cloning." "But from now on, to whatever extent you have different experiences... then you'lI diverge." "What do I feed it?" " Am I a hamster?" " Sorry." "Bad choice of words." "I didn't mean that." " I mean, it eats something." " He's a person, just like you." "We'Il provide him with duplicate identification... clothes to wear." " You take care of the rest." " Yeah." "I'm gonna leave you two alone." "You'Il have a lot to talk about." "I'lI be in my office." "Astonishing." "What?" "Nothing." "So" "Where you from?" "all right." "Stay down low." "really low." "Lower than this." "What?" "You want me to get under the car?" "Good." "Laura's not home." "The mildew suite." "Don't worry." "We'lI fix this up." "I'm really gonna be living up here?" "WelI" "I mean, you can't live in the house with me and Laura." "How would that work?" "Laura wakes up in the morning, rolls over and says..." ""Doug, Doug, you two better get up 'cause y'all are gonna be late."" "You know what I mean?" "Don't worry about it." "We'Il clean some stuff outta here." "We'Il put some rugs down, get a TV, stereo." " It could be a cool place." " Hey!" "You know what we oughta get?" "We oughta get one of those satellite dishes." "Get every sport going, all the movies." "I don't know about that." "What's that?" "I don't know if Laura's gonna go for that." "Oh, man." "You're whipped." "I'm not whipped." " You're whipped, partner." " I'm not whipped." " Fine. I'm whipped." " Hey!" "Some guys are whipped." "You're right." "Anyway, we've got to get some kind of plan together." "Hey, look at this!" "Think fast." "Wear these till you get some of your own." "Hey!" "I don't wanna have to come over and kick your ass." "Come on." "Get ready." "I don't want-- Hold it!" "Look at this. I wondered where this is." "It's a great coat." " I Iove this old coat." " Now" "To be safe, always use the garden gate to come in and out of the alley." " You should black out these windows." " Yeah." "Good idea." "It's important we come up with a strategy for work." "Boy, between the two of us, we're gonna get a lot of stuff done." " We're gonna kick some ass." " We're gonna be awesome." "We're gonna destroy Ted." "We must bring Ted down." "We must crush Ted." " I wanna get Ted" " Talk to me!" "And I will break his little neck!" "Chest me!" "Come on!" "Laura's home." " Hey, Laura!" " Hey, honey!" " Hi, babe." " Hey." " Hey, Dad." " Zack, help me." " Daddy!" " Hey, you." "What are you doing up there?" "I was just looking around for some old stuff." " Hey, Dad." " Hey, buddy." "Wow." "You look really beautiful today." " l do?" " Yeah." " You guys wanna go to the pony rides?" " Yeah!" " Maybe we'Il go to the movies tonight." " Okay!" " You know, we could carpool." " No." "I couId pick you up." " Morning." " Doug!" "When did you get here?" "6:00." "Make copies of those?" "half day today, Teddy?" "It's not a half day." " Let's meet now." "What do you say?" " Sure." "These are the status reports on the palisades: projections, everything." " When did you have time to do all this?" " l suggest we do them every morning." " You all right?" "You look tired." " I'm fine." "Del-- two minutes, conference room." "How about it?" "Sure." " Find out what he had for breakfast." " l'd be happy to." " Morning, Franny." "Meeting start yet?" " l thought you were already in there." "How could I already be" "Did you see me?" "I thought I did." "But you were wearing a different shirt." "Yeah, I was." "I was wearing a different shirt." "You know why?" "I spilled coffee on it." "So I decided to go back to the truck while you were" " In the ladies' room?" " Perfect." "And I figured I would... get another shirt-- which I keep for emergencies." "You never know what's gonna happen." "You might spill coffee on it." "Like I did" "And I got my briefcase, which I needed for the meeting." "And I came back and forgot the meeting had started." "Shouldn't you go back in?" "Yeah. I should." "I'm going to." "But I gotta go get the original shirt which is probably dry now." "truthfully, I like it better." "The next time you see me, I'lI be coming out of the meeting... right through the front in the original shirt." " Are you okay?" " No problem." "Never been better." "Just great." "Just between you and me, forget it ever happened, okay?" "Good morning." "Del King Construction." "Is Doug Kinney there?" "He's in a meeting." "May I ask who's calling?" "It's Carl." " Who?" " It's Roger." "Roger who?" "carl Rogerson." "tell him carl Rogerson's calling." " Phone call for you." " Thanks." " What's going on?" " Who the hell is this?" "It's me." "I mean, it's you." "It's us." "You know who it is." "hold on a second." "I'm gonna take this in my office." "Man." "I'm too busy to talk to myself." "What's up?" " What are you doing there?" " Where should I be?" "You got up and just went to work?" "I Iooked for you and you were gone." "I thought the idea was I came to work so you could spend more time at home." "That's the idea." "But we gotta discuss these things." "We gotta coordinate some stuff." "You know what I mean?" " Anyway, how's it going?" " Everything's under control." "Really?" "I gotta get out to the palisades." "I gotta go, okay?" "Then I'm gonna go by Sherman Oaks, check on that." "I already took care of it." "Everything's fine." "I'Il go to North hollywood." "I'm gonna go by there on my way out to the palisades." " Reseda?" " Already did it." "Wow." "I'Il tell you what then." "What should I do?" "I don't know, partner." "Start living it up." "Have a good time. I gotta go." "See you." "You think you're hot shit." "But you're not fooling anybody with this new "go-go" attitude." "Read me?" "Got it." "I'm on top of you." "I see you, my friend." "all right." "Frank." "Take this one." "Holy shit!" "Hey!" "Hey!" "Occupado!" "Ridgewood, two." "Hike!" "I got it!" "What are you doing?" "Pick it up!" "Don't kick it!" "It's not soccer!" "fall on it!" "fall on the ball!" "I got it!" "Defense, let's go." "Come on!" "Let's hustle!" "I thought you couldn't come." "Mom said you had to work." "You're playing, I'm coming." "That's it." " You looked good." " Thanks." "all right." "Go sit with your team." " all I'm saying" " Wait your turn!" "I paid $160 and I don't wanna watch my kid sit and eat!" "He played four downs." "That's all I have to play him." "Period!" "Big deal !" "He's better than that!" "Let go of the whistle!" "I'm a lawyer, not just a coach." "I'll kick your ass all over this" "That's it." "Get him away before I-- Don't touch me!" "Don't even get near touching me!" "Back off!" "I have had it!" " God!" "I don't need this." " You don't need it." "Don't pay attention to them." " l'm doing the best I can." " That's all you can ask." " I'm not getting paid or anything." " You could be out playing golf." " I Iove golf." " l know." "I don't think these people know what they're talking about." " You're the first guy who gets it." " I appreciate what you're doing." "You're doing a great job." "Can I say something?" " Yeah." " You should think about... a multiple-set, prostyle offense." "There are kids here who couldn't identify their parents in a lineup!" " That's why if you put Zack in" " Who's Zack?" " Zack's my kid." " Your kid?" "That does it!" " I've had it." "Here you go, Lombardi." " Wait!" "You turn this franchise around." "See you in the Super Bowl." "Go change." "I'd better get dinner right away." " What are you doing?" " Dad's cooking dinner." " Spaghetti?" " Yeah." "Just like the old days." "Dad's the new football coach." "He's great!" "We scored!" "really?" "We got a good team." "We're gonna be all right." "Zack, you and your sister go get washed up for dinner." "Come on." "Let's go." "Thanks." "Get going, honey." " Thanks for coaching." " You got it." "So, how did you manage all this?" "I thought you had a lot of work?" "Not anymore." "Did you get fired?" "No." "I just got tired of carrying that load, so I walked into King's office... and I said, "You either give me some help or I'm walking."" "Take a taste." "And what did he say?" "What do you think he said?" "I thought the guy was gonna cry." "It was pitiful." "So he agreed to give me somebody to help out." "That's that." "The guy's like an assistant." "I'm glad." "Who?" "You mean like, who's the guy?" "He's just a guy-- a new guy." "A new guy you don't know." "A really new guy you don't know." " So you're saying is he's new." " Yeah." "But he's gonna run everything for me." "So" " And you trust him." " Yeah. I trust him." "I trust him like I trust myself." "That's great." "What are you gonna do now?" "Now?" "I don't know." "Right now I thought I might-- I might do this." " l want you to take that new job." " My job?" " really?" "You mean it?" " Yes. I mean it." "Yes!" "That's great!" "all right!" "valerie said I can come in after I drop the kids at school." "I can leave by 3:00." "So if you could just back me up occasionally." " No problem." " Oh, Doug." "Let's get the kids to bed early tonight." " What time is it now?" " 6:15." "Kids!" "Bedtime!" "Hey, Doug." "Looking smug!" "Vic, what time is it?" "Time?" "It's 5:30 in New York." "That would make it 2:30 here." " Why is your watch on New York time?" " Funny story." "Bought it in New York and couldn't figure out how to reset it." "What time did I tell you to be here?" "I'm not sure we agreed on a specific time." "We were real specific. 1 :30." "In fact, I repeated it twice." " Do you want solid or the laminates?" " Laminates." "That is strange." "For some reason, 2:30 just stuck in my head." "I'd Iike to stick something else in your head." "You're fired." "Take your New York watch and fat L.A. ass and get out of here." "I'm getting somebody else." " For being a few minutes late?" " No." "That's not a few." "Three, four-- that's a few." "You were 60 minutes late." "That's not a few." "Hit it." "is this some kind of negotiating tactic?" " Let's go." " all right. I'm on my way." "Take your hands off me." "Now you're getting me mad." "You've made a point." "It's registered." "I un-- What's happening now?" "You guys on some kind of break?" "Let's go!" " What got into you today?" " Nothing." "You know how long l wanted to fire Vic?" "I was too much of a wimp to do it." "He's got like 34 kids, man." "'Cause he's been married like 17 times." "No dead weight on this job." "What've you got there, paul?" "Thought you'd wanna look at these before we start" "hold on a second." "Yeah?" " Honey, it's me." " Yeah?" "I need to work late." "I hate to ask, but could you pick up the kids?" " Sure." "Bye." " Wait. lt's not that simple." "Jennifer has picture day at ballet class." "really?" "So that'lI be really cute." "You have to bring her home, give her a bath... mousse her hair, get her in the outfit I picked out and get her there by 4:30." " Can you do this?" " Yeah." "I can do it." "See you." "Okay." "Bye." "hello?" "You gotta pick up the kids, wash their hair... take them to a dance and get a picture of them." "Wait a minute!" "I was just teeing off here." "Not today, pal." "See you later." "Oh, man." " I don't want a shower!" "I want a bath!" " You don't have time!" "I hate showers!" "Zack, get her on that side." "Contain!" "These things!" "How do they get on here?" " You're going." " l'm not going!" "all right." "Let me see." "Turn around." "Good." "I like it." "all right." "Let's go." "Zack!" "Now, plié and out." "Down and out." "Sorry we're late." "We're here for the pictures." "Didn't anyone call you?" "The pictures were changed to tomorrow." "Seriously." "We're here for the pictures." "That would be tomorrow." "Get a photographer down here now." " Right now." " Okay." "I'Il see what I can do." "hello?" "She's not here right now." "You wanna leave a message?" "hold on a second." "Wait." "Can you call back?" "I have a Iittle emergency here." "One of the kids just swallowed a spoon." "It was a little teaspoon." "She'lI be all right." "Thanks." "Okay, great." "Jennifer!" "Keep it down, hon!" " He took it!" " Give that back to her." "I'm telling you, Zack." "Give it back to her!" " Doodyhead!" " You're a doodyhead!" "Hey!" "You're both doodyheads!" "Get up there!" "It's bath time." "Go up there and don't come out until you're married!" "Can we have some cake?" "Get up there!" "I'm sorry I'm late." "It's this one couple." "They keep wanting to see the same house." "It's all right." "You look great." "We're both here." "Of course, sir." "Right this way." "This is fun meeting like this." "It's like we're having an affair." "We don't have time to have an affair." "Thanks." "I think he likes you." "well, I'm fond of him too, but there's no future in it." "Besides, I have you." "Okay." "What are we celebrating?" "well." "You know, I've been thinking." "This is just not working out." " What?" " This new arrangement." "I'm not getting anything done." "I'm not getting any work done." "all I do is cook and I do laundry." "I pick up and drop off the kids, dress the kids, undress the kids... and I clean up after them." "I've been doing that for ten years." "You've been doing it for a month." "I know." "But it comes more naturally to you." "How so?" "Hon, you're a nurturer." "You know?" "You are." "First of all, you got the two X chromosomes." "And I got a couple of-- l don't know what I have." "But it's scientifically proven." "That's why you have breasts." "Look at me" " I have nothing." " Just what are you saying?" "This whole system isn't working." "It's a dismal failure." "We have to go back to the way it worked:" "you taking care of the house-- which you do really welI-- and I have to do what I need to do." "And what do you need to do?" "I gotta get back to work, and that's it." "No, actually, that's not it." "I Iove my job, and so far, I'm doing great at it." "valerie said if I keep it up, she's gonna move me into estates." "So very soon I could be making a very good living." "I know this is hard for you, and I can imagine the day you've had... but I am not quitting." "So we're just gonna have to work this out." "And that is it." "That's really funny." "You think that's it." "Because that's not it." "The thing I said, that's it." "This thing that you just said-- not it." "This is it." "I can't believe you lured me here for this." "This is the lowest thing you've ever done." "Excuse me." "Can I have some water over here?" "I didn't lure you into anything." " Thanks." " l had no idea." "You tease me sometimes, and I kind of like it... but I always assumed you were happily married." "I've been sleeping in the guest house for a month." "Oh, my God." "Is it that bad?" "Yeah, it's pretty bad." "She's sleeping with another guy." "And that is the God's honest truth." "It's over." "She doesn't even know I exist." "It must be so hard for you." "It is." " Do you wanna come back to my place?" " Yeah." "Look, I just thought" "Are you all right?" "What's wrong?" "Are you all right?" "This damn knee." "It's an old football injury." "Rose bowl." " You played?" " No." "I fell out of the bleachers." " ls everything all right?" " l'm good." " should I help you to the car?" " No. lt's okay." " Let's get some dessert, huh?" " You're still hungry?" "Noreen, my life's a shambles." "I need pie." "Can you breathe?" "should I HeimIich you?" " I'm fine." " I'll get you some more water." " No!" "Laura!" " What?" " Look at me." " Okay." " How do I look?" " Crazy." "See?" "Let's order." "Let's just order something to eat." "We'lI feel better." " Excuse me." " Where are you going?" " Ladies' room." " I'II join you." " What?" " I'Il join you in the mens' room." "I mean, I'Il accompany you to the" "Forget it." "Boy, everything on here looks so good." "Doug, that's the wine list." "I thought, you know, "There's a lot of beverages on there."" "Would you order for me?" "You know what I like." "Anything with a barbecue sauce." "What are you doing here?" "What are you talking about?" "It's my favorite restaurant." " I get a steak and-- - l know that!" "It was my favorite restaurant first!" "What are you doing with Noreen?" "She's a colleague." "Business meeting." "Just talking." "Don't give me that!" "You're up to something." "What are you talking about?" "What?" "Are you jealous?" "You can't cheat on Laura!" "I never even get to see Laura!" "Look, this isn't working out." "What are you talking about?" "This whole deal." "We'll switch." "I'Il go back to work and you'lI help out around the house." "That's a better system." "I think we oughta do that." "Yeah, right." "I'm gonna hang around and do housework?" " Yeah-- - l'm sorry. I thought you were joking." "No way in hell that's gonna happen." "Not only that... you've no idea what I've been doing for the past four weeks." " You'd be lost." " I'd be-- l got you the job." "What do you think, I'm a genie?" "You rub a lamp and I pop out and do what you want me to do?" "I got things I need to do too!" "You chose the arrangement." "I didn't!" "Look, things change." "You took away my wife, my family." "I've got no friends." "I'm alone in a garage." "I got nothing but my job." "Okay. I did it." "all right?" "And now I'm doing the work you couldn't do." "I'm finally making it pay, so get off my back." "Down!" "What?" "You never saw a guy wash another guy's face before?" "Yes, of course." "Please, carry on." "That's it." "What are you doing?" "A guy came in." "I had to do something." "Look" "I didn't know you felt that way." "We'Il work this out later." "In the meantime, I'lI distract Laura." "You get Noreen out of here." "This guy's in way over his head." " I'm ready for dessert." " Good." "That's not your sport coat, is it?" "Yeah." "No!" "I switched with a guy in the mens' room." "We just traded." "Guys will do that in the mens' room all the time." " Let's get out of here." " I thought you wanted pie?" " No." "The pie here sucks." " Oh, my God!" "It's your wife!" "May we join you?" " Have we met?" " No." " What happened to your shirt?" " Huh?" "Oh" " Water spots." "I'lI say." "I don't wanna fight about this." "Great." "About what?" " My job." " Oh, yeah." "hell, no, honey." "We don't wanna fight about that." "That'd be dumb." "Do you love me?" "Of course, I love you." "Then kiss me." "Come on." "Let's go!" "Come on!" " This way!" " Hey!" "Sorry!" "Hey!" "That guy looks a lot like-- Doug!" "What are you doing?" " will you stop it?" " Hey!" " Toss that." " Doug!" "Sorry." "He's kissing her!" "Go on!" " Come on!" " will you stop pushing?" "It's the first half." "Seven-seven, the score." "Indiana with the ball." "Patterson back to throw." " Hit him!" " Got a man over the slant" "Out of nowhere" "Hey, can I talk to you for a second?" "Sure." "You wanna beer?" "Sure." "Thanks." "ActuaIIy" " I could use a couple." " Sure." "Come on in." "Two..." "I'd Iike you to meet Three." "Hi." "How are you?" "Hey." "How are you?" "Are you nuts?" "Are you mentally nuts?" "No!" "I have the whole thing figured out." "Oh, man!" "What do we need him for?" "He's going to help me with the kids and around the house." "And when you weren't busy with work, you guys could hang out together." "It would be fun, don't you think?" "Oh, yeah." "I'm giddy." "There's a lot of stuff we could do together." "You said you were lonely." "I got you a friend, a buddy." "Where is he gonna stay?" "Right here with you." "That way, you got a friend." "You got a roommate." "Friend, roommate." "One shot." " Look at him." " Hi, roomie." "Hey!" "I got an idea." "How about "no"?" "Doug, he needs space." "I'm gonna step outside" " Stay here." " lt's a shock." "The idea was for you to work so I'd have quality time with Laura and the kids." "well, so far it's been low quality time." "Look, I just need to get a break so I can work on the house, for one thing." "Or maybe sit and think a single thought in quiet... or maybe play golf once and a while." "Hey!" "I've been working since I was 12 years old." " It's break time." " lt is." "And I think that 12-year-oId is saying, "Doug, how about a visit?" " You need time for Doug."" " What a suck!" "I'm not a suck." "I don't know what a suck is." " Let me explain it to you." " Please!" " Come on!" "For Doug." " Fine." " There you go!" " Go ahead, screw your life up." " Thank you!" " You're in way over your head." "You know, you are two good-looking guys." "I promise I'll make this up to you." " Start by cloning Laura." " Yeah." "Yeah." "Start by cIoning-- Can you imagine?" "Bye!" "Have a good time." "I am worried about him." "He is uptight." "Don't you think?" " He'll be all right." " I don't know." "That's a lot of ribs." "is that like a slab or something?" "Kids, hurry up." "We gotta get going." "I'm gonna be late." " Books, jackets." " I need to get my project." "Wait a second. I'lI get the dishes, and I'lI drive the kids to school." "You take a couple minutes for yourself." "Thanks." "That's all right." "Look... the other night at the restaurant... when I said I wanted you to quit your job?" "Forget that whole thing." "You've as much right to work as I do." " You mean it?" " l mean it." "I just want you to be happy." "When you come home, I'lI give you a foot rub." " Thanks." " You bet." "That's it." "Perfect." "Round." "really perfectly round." "hello?" "How's it going?" "Hi!" "Fine." "Everything's okay." "Making bread." "Where are you?" " At the Laker game." " Good for you." "I meant to be home sooner, but I had a tremendous urge to stop at the game." "Good idea." "Have yourself a good time." "It won't happen again." "How's everything going?" " You heard from Two?" " l think Two's still at work." "The guy is a horse!" "I promise I'lI be home as soon as I can." "all right." "Bye." "See you." "What?" " What happened?" " Nothing." "It's okay." "I just had a terrible dream." " What was it?" " What?" " Your dream?" " I don't know." "I was sleeping." "Go back to sleep." "Everything will be fine." "Don't worry." " All right!" "Don't push me!" " all right." "What was that all about?" " What?" " ln the house!" "What's going on?" " Who won the game?" " Don't give me "who won the game"!" "Don't worry about who won the game." "The Lakers won." "Van exei hit a three-pointer." "What were you doing in bed with Laura?" "What?" "Nothing." "We were watching TV." "Laura said she was sleepy and wanted to go to bed." "What was I going to say?" " l'm going to go sleep over the garage?" " Wait a minute!" "What do you mean, "she wanted to go to bed"?" "What do you mean, "what do I mean"?" " You know what I mean!" " What do you mean?" " Did you have sex with my wife?" " Whoa!" "Did you?" "No!" "I certainly did not!" "Look, here was the plan:" "We'lI go to bed together-- which we did." "And when she'd fall asleep, I'd sneak out." "But I dozed off." "And nothing happened." "She did roll over and kind of brushed me in that general region." " Brushed you?" " I mamboed out of there!" "Brushed you in the general region?" "She shouldn't even be in the neighborhood!" "He mamboed right out of the region." "Geez!" "All right!" "Listen to me, both of you!" "This is the number one rule." "This is unbreakable." "You can't even try to bend this rule." "Nobody has sex with my wife but me." " talk to him." " Fabulous rule, Doug." "Nobody!" "No clone nooky." " You're the man." " Great idea." "Original nooky only." " Got it?" " Your department." " You're clear on the rule, right?" " Yes, sir." "Yes, you are." " Got you, loud and clear." " lt's locked in here." " So did you?" " No!" " Wimp." " Slob." "The mambo king." "Watch your stern there." "Hey, number eight." "That's a boat, not a bathtub." "Jesus!" "Did you enjoy sailing?" "It wasn't really like sailing." "It was more like bumper cars." "Say, how about an "I sailed with Walt" T-shirt?" "No, thanks." "You don't happen to have any..." ""I got a refund from Walt" T-shirts, do you?" " Sorry." " I didn't think so." "I'd really like to Iearn how to sail." "You have anything big enough to take my whole family... and not end up like Gilligan?" "I love that show." "Remember when they got stranded with the harlem globetrotters?" "That was a good one." "And believable too." "Ow!" "Holy moly!" " What the hell are you doing?" " Geez, Louise!" " How many of you are there?" " Hi, Doug." "That's our brother Doug." "And that's Patty and Beth." "These are two girls." "We were just dancing." "One's cuter than the next." "Are you as much fun as Lance and Rico?" "You're Rico, I'm guessing." "Guess again, pal." "Even he can't tell them apart." "Look" " girls, can we have some privacy?" "We have to have a little family meeting." " l thought we were gonna have a party." " Wait a minute!" " You're kidding, right?" " No, I'm serious." " Maybe some other time." " Nice buzz kill." " Are you a drag, or what?" " I don't know." "Try to keep your voices down when you go out there, okay?" " lt's important." " Sure." "Good night, Lance!" "Good night, Rico!" " Nice." " Thanks a lot." "The adventures of Lance and Rico." "Lance, where did you meet those two bims anyway?" "They're the microwave girls at the A.M./P.M. mini mart." "They work at the store." "They're clerks." "well, the slurpee girls were busy, I guess." "Look..." "I stopped to pick up my dinner like I always do." "She offered to nuke my corn dog." "What am I gonna say?" "No?" "So, we came back here and had ourselves a party." "They actually happen to be two very nice young women." "Yeah, women being the key word here, Dougie." "Yeah, right." "Look!" "You can't just go out and meet some strangers and bring them up here!" "Are we supposed to live like a couple of monks?" "He makes a very good point." "Damn good point." "What are you doing?" "What do you mean, what am I doing?" "I'm splitting atoms." "I'm having a smoke." "What's it look like?" "I can see you're having a smoke." "What for?" "What's it to you?" "I spent a thousand dollars to quit, remember?" "That's what it is." "Looks like it didn't take." "Don't ever blow smoke in my face again." "What are you gonna do about it?" "I'Il hit you so hard, I'lI kill him." "Come on, guys." "Maybe we oughta sit down and have a rap session." "You're both feeling a Iot of anger, and I'm afraid you're like two Iions" " Shut up." " Shut up." "I'm sorry." "Where's your aspirin?" "tylenol, Doug." "It's less abrasive on the stomach." "It's in the kitchen above the cabinet." "I'lI find it." "Look at this place. lt's a mess." "I can't leave you alone for a minute." "One, two, three, four." "Doug, if I might" "No, wait." "One, two, three... four." "Twelve!" " Seven." " Doug, I'd Iike you to meet Four." "I got a wallet!" "That guy gave it to me." "I'm gonna drive a car." "He's got a wallet." "Come here!" "Come here." "Where'd he come from?" "He's gonna help us out around here a bit." "Do the day-to-day stuff." "Clean the house, mow the lawn, Take out the trash." " bullshit we don't have time to do." " Forget that." "What the hell's wrong with him?" "Nothing." "You know, nothing really wrong." "You know, he's a little special." "He's fine." "He'lI be all right." "Yeah, he's special, all right." "What we did was we made a copy from Two." "You know how sometimes you make a copy of a copy... it's not quite as sharp as the original." "That's kind of what happened." "Leeds loved it." "He loved it because it was very experimental." "We got a great deal on him too." "Very cheap." "Good. I'm glad Leeds loved it." "'Cause I hate it!" "You can't just go around cloning people!" "That's crazy!" "Oh, man!" "all right, listen up." "Listen really clearly to me." "Rule number two." "First of all, we all remember rule number one." " No sleeping with your wife." " It's in here." "I got it." "AII right." "That's important." "rule number two." "No more Dougs." "That's it." "This is plenty." "I'm gonna call Leeds in the morning." "We're out of the Doug-making business." "Store's closed." "Am I clear?" " Yeah." " Am I clear on this?" " Got it." " Book is closed on that one." "I Iike pizza." "I like it!" "We're gonna need a cage." "Bye, Steve." "Good party." "I like Steve." "How'd it go?" "Oh, man, I'm telling you." "This is great." "He was fantastic." "You want some really great sailing?" "Grab Mrs. Doug, get her down here tomorrow morning... and come to catalina with Robin and me on my big boat." "You should think about it." "I think you'd like it." "I'm telling you, we cruise into Avalon Harbor at sunset... a couple of bottles of champagne on board." "We leave you alone." "You make love right on the boat." "Most romantic thing in the world." "Think about Catalina." "Yeah, maybe. I'lI call you." "Honey?" "May I do that?" "would you mind?" " This?" " l just wanna show you something." "See, first of all, this piece of aluminum foil?" "It's too small, see?" "You can't cover it all." "What's gonna happen?" "Air's gonna get in there." "Then you get that little hard crust around the meat." "It gets real brown and dark, and nobody wants to eat that." "We're gonna fold this up and save this." "We can use it later." "Or, Christmastime comes around, we might make a nice ornament outta that." "That's what I Iike to do." "By the way, save those fries." "I'm thinking of stringing them, paint them and string them around the tree." "Kids'll love that." "Okay, look here." "I'm gonna take a new, fresh piece." "Like so." "Right there." "Now I'm gonna fold it up on one side, like that, make sure we're even." "Then, I fold once, I fold twice, or three times" "Whatever you need to fold it." "Sometimes people roll it over." "I don't like that." "You get that lump across the center... that rolls around in the fridge." "I fold it nice and flat, and no air gets in there." "Because air's our enemy, isn't it?" "Take this, tuck, tuck, fold." "T.T.F.:" "Tuck, tuck, fold." "Two tucks and a fold." "I just think of elizabeth Taylor." "Then I remember a tuck here, a fold there." "Makes it simple." "Now we roll over, nice and flat." "There we go." "We got it." "No air's gonna get in there." "We could send this little guy off to NASA and nothing would happen." "Look here." "Put the lid on, burp." "There you are." "That's very nice." "It's very nice." "Doug, I've been noticing things about you lately... and I'm starting to think that maybe" "What?" "Nothing." "Go like this." "Go" "Can I just do something here?" "See what that does?" "That just frames you better, and here it gives you height." "Honey... why don't you go relax and let me finish cleaning up?" "Why?" "I" "Okay." "all right." "You sure?" "I'm sure." "Freezer." "Second shelf, over to the left with all the other meat products... unless it's in a skin casing, like your franks and sausages and kielbasa." "That goes lower in the bin." "Oh, boy!" "Man!" "That was a great meal, honey." " Great." " You cooked it." "Yeah, but, you know, you ate it." "Doug, were you wearing that shirt earlier?" "This?" "Yeah." " I'm losing it." " Yeah, sure." "Dad, watch this." "Wow!" "Great." "Let me show you how to walk the dog." "You just showed me before dinner." "I did?" "Oh, right!" "That's right, I did. I forgot." "You guys wanna go out and get some ice cream?" "unless we already did." "Doug, did you decide?" "Did I decide what?" "What we've been talking about." "You said you'd think about it and let me know." "I did." "I gave it a Iot of thought." "I thought about it a lot, babe." "What did you think?" "Well, you know... after thinking about it and giving it a lot of thought..." "I think whatever you think is probably the smartest thing to do." "You're smart." "You have great ideas." "please, honey." "Don't put this all on me." "They're your kids too." "Can I say something?" "I really thing we ought to leave the kids out of this." "What do you mean?" "You want to go to Disney world without the kids?" "No!" "I certainly don't wanna do that." "That's not fair to the kids." "Go all the way down there, just you and me riding those rides." "It's stupid." "Can I ask you something?" "When is it we're going to Disney World?" "Christmas." "I bought nonrefundable tickets to Orlando." "You bought nonrefundable tickets to Orlando?" "Are you nuts?" " You told me to go ahead and buy them." " Not me." " Then who?" " Not me." "God, Doug, you're driving me crazy!" "I call the office, and you bite my head off." "Other times you're as sweet as can be." "And then one minute you're obsessing about every little detail." "Then the next you seem so completely out of it... like you don't even know what I'm talking about." "What's going on with you?" "Nothing's wrong with me." "absolutely nothing's wrong with me." "My God." "You could have bipolar disorder or multiple personalities." "Hon, let's sail to Catalina." " What?" " Come on. lt'Il be great." "We'lI sail right into the harbor at sunset." "We'Il drink some wine." "We'lI make love right on the boat." " It'lI be great." " Doug, you don't sail." "I drink and I make love." "The sailing thing-- l can figure that out." "How hard can it be?" " We can't just go sailing to Catalina." " Why not?" "Let's just be spontaneous." "We'll leave the kids with your parents." "We used to do stuff like this." "You're the one who says, "Let's go down to Ecuador... and throw harpoons with Peruvian basket people and stuff."" "Yeah, but that's just talk." "well, let's just go." "Why can't we?" "Why not?" "Why not?" "Your job, my job." "Jennifer's dance recital." "The Donaldson's anniversary party." " I'm not going to the DonaIdsons." " You said you were." " When?" " This morning." "When you figure out what you want, would you just let me know?" " hello?" " ln here, Doug." "Three?" "Can I talk to you for a second?" "Sure." " What's up, Doug?" "Everything okay?" " I've gotta go away for a couple days." " really?" " Yeah, it's a business trip." " l handle the business." " Yeah, he handles the business, Steve." "Okay, fine. lt's not a business trip." "I need to get away by myself and figure some things out." " Do you understand?" " You need to get centered." "I understand." "That's a good idea." "You deserve that." "Thank you." "I need to get centered." "I need you to cover for me days and nights." "Whoa." "Nights?" "What about rule number one?" "Yeah, what about rule number one?" "What's rule number one?" "Hey, "Rain Man." Run back in there and floss yourself, all right?" "I already thought of that." "rule number one still stands." "Do you remember when I had that bronchial infection?" " Oh, sure." "That was nasty." " You got it again." "Just cough a Iot and tell her you're really, really sick... and you don't want her to catch it, okay?" "And keep your distance." "Can you handle that?" "I've got a sore throat and a fever." "Okay." "Hey, Doug, you want me to handle it?" "No." "Thanks, though." "Hey, I'm just trying to help out." "Is he safe with that razor?" "Yeah." "We take the blade out." "Two and I shave him at night while he's sleeping." "It's cute, I think." "all right." " Hey, I'm counting on you." " Okay, Doug." "All right?" " Hey, wait." " Hey, ahoy, Doug." " Where's your wife?" " She couldn't make it." "Don't you wanna wait until she can come with you?" "You know what?" "She'lI probably come next time." " Then come on aboard." " all right." "Great." " Wanna give me a hand with these?" " Sure." "I'm sorry about last night." "I understand why you wanted us to go away together." "You do?" "Good." "It did sound romantic, but we don't have to go away to make love." " Honey." " You all right?" "No." "I think I'm really coming down with something here." "I've got a Iot of phlegm." "Oh, gee!" "I'm burning up." "I think I've come up with a fever or something." "Maybe it's a better idea if we don't get too close tonight." " I'm not worried." " I don't want you to get sick." "I just think maybe-- Hey, you know what?" "Maybe if you'd not do that, 'cause I don't" "Oh, honey!" "It might be a good idea if I just go down and sleep in the den." "Just relax." "Hey, what do you hear from your parents?" "How are they?" "I'm really feeling sick." "I'm gonna make you feel better." "I guess you weren't as sick as you thought." "No. I guess not." "That was so unusual." "I've never seen you cry like that before." "You know" "That one time when the souffle fell... but besides that, I don't know, I guess I was just moved by it all." "You know what I want now?" "No." "Graham crackers and chocolate milk." "Good." " You want some?" " No, thanks, honey." "I've had plenty." " I'Il be right back." " Okay." "What have I done?" "Hey, Mister Wizard." "Who ate all the bologna?" "BurgIars." "What'd you do, eat everything in the house?" "Count ChocuIa?" "No, thanks." "all right, that's it." "I'm starving." "I'm sneaking into that house and get something to eat." "Oh, Doug!" "You startled me." "Change your mind?" "Yeah, I did." "I changed my mind, I think." "Want some?" "You taste good." "You taste pretty good yourself." "Remember when we used to make love all over the house?" "Oh, yeah." "I remember." "Boy, am l-- Aren't you hungry?" "You know, I couId-- l don't know about you... but I couId go for one of these canned hams." "Oh, man!" "Wait a minute." "I don't know if this is really, you know... the worst idea in the world." "Oh, wait a minute." "Look." "I don't know if we should do this, 'cause I've got" "Oh, man, I've got a really bad cough." "Of course, it could clear up in a second." " Doug?" " What?" "I want you." "Wait." "I" "I'm not so sure." "Okay." "Wait." "Grab that." "That was athletic." "That was better than the Stairmaster." "well, I guess I got a little carried away." " You all right?" " Yeah." "ShouIdn't we go back upstairs?" "Yeah. I guess." "Here." "Thanks." "Oh, geez, Laura." "I almost forgot." "There's some things down here I gotta take care of." "Okay, honey." " I'Il be up in a minute!" " Doug, the kids!" "Oh, Doug!" "I forgot to shut the windows on the volvo." "It's gonna be soaked." "Do you mind?" "No problem, hon." "I'Il get it." "Sorry about yelling with the kids and everything, honey!" "Oh, baby!" "You're drenched!" "I'm so sorry." "Come upstairs." "What was I thinking... sending you out in the rain without you feeling good?" "Sweetie, you're soaking." "Come on and get out of those wet clothes." "My goodness!" "You're just" "Wet." "Let me dry you off." "I am so sorry." "I was so, so selfish." "Let me help you with those pants." "Wow!" "Again?" "well." "My peppy." "I see." "well... so much for rule number one." "It was a hell of a ride, wasn't it?" "Maybe we'Il get the onshore wind tomorrow." "That ought to make things a little easier." "You really ought to sit up." "You're gonna start feeling sick again." "Sorry I hurled on your dog, man." " lt's okay." "Not the first time." " No, thanks." "You know, Doug, some people really shouldn't sail." "Yeah, maybe not." "That was pretty miserable there for a while." "You know, it wasn't just the getting sick part." "When I was down there with my head in the-- well, in the head... my whole life actually flashed before my eyes." "There it was." "The funny part is..." "I wasn't in it." "I gotta get back into my Iife." "I have no idea what the hell you're talking about." " But good luck to you." " well, thanks." "One-o-three?" "You're not going anywhere today, Mr. flu Bug." " You're not going anywhere, Steve." " I gotta go." "The building inspector's coming today." "You're too sick to go anywhere." "I just won't" "del King." "Del?" "Hi, it's Doug." "How you doing?" "well, not too good as it turns out." "I don't think I can make it in today." "Why don't you just reach down my throat and pull out my liver?" "Gee, Del." "Being a little dramatic, aren't you?" "If we don't get inspected today that guy won't be back for a month!" "I understand." "But I'm really, really just under the weather here." "Can't you get someone else to meet him?" "Nobody knows this job like you do." "Look." "Stop screwing around, get your ass down there or start looking for another job!" "Nice attitude, Del." " He said" " Yeah, I heard him." "I gotta get down there." " You can't go." " I gotta go." " Maybe I'Il just lay down for a while." " You're not going anywhere." "Four, take care of him." "I'm going to work." "Sorry, Steve." "That leg's gonna have to come off." "All right." "These are the water pipes." "And you've got hot and cold both available in all the units." "Which is really, you know, really nice." "What is this?" "This looks like" "And it is." "It's the gas line." "That's gonna be your gas line... which would feed natural gas to all the appliances... which would require natural gas." "You're not answering the inspector's question." "I'm sorry." "What was the question?" "The plan showed two-inch gas lines" "Whoa." "Go like this." "Go-- Right here." "You go something." "That's it." "You got it." "You had a little something-- l wanna know why you only went with one-inch." "Oh, that's right." "I remember." "So what's the answer?" "Can you excuse me?" " What?" " Hi." "Why did you use one-inch gas lines instead of two?" "'Cause" " Knock it off!" "Because the original calcs were based on kitchens with two ovens." "King cut it back to one to save money." "Got it." "I remember." "I remember now." "The original plans called for two ovens." "Somebody decided to cut back to just the one." "To save money, I guess." "I don't know about you fellas... but I personally like a double oven." "Sure, there's a Iot of bending." "But if you got a turkey in the bottom and maybe some rutabaga or something" "I don't know, anything cooking on the top." "It's nice if you Iike to entertain, which I do." "But you're still stubbed out for two." "What if some future occupant decides to put in a second oven?" "WeIl" " You hate me?" "I don't know." " hold on a second." " This is ridiculous." " Wait." " The guy can't answer... a few simple questions about a job?" "Running off into another room every two minutes." " You know what that usually means?" " alcohol and drugs." "God knows what he's been doing on the job here." "all right." "Here's how it works." "Even with the extra demand of the oven... we took the laundry rooms off this line and ran a separate line down the back." "Which line is feeding the gas fireplaces now?" "Thinking." "Boy, does he ask some tough ones." "That's it!" "This guy doesn't know what he's doing!" "Wait a second there, mister." "You're entitled to your opinion... but I don't think it's fair to judge anyone... based on one very superficial conversation." "Do you, Del?" "I'm notifying the building commissioner." " No!" " Kinney." "Doug Kinney." "You will stop all work right where it is until further notice." "I'Il be back in about three weeks." "I suggest you get your act together if you wanna keep your license." " Three weeks?" " And get that man some help." "You what?" "You got fired?" "Just come home." "Doug, what are you doing home?" " Are you sick?" " Yeah." "We got any Pepto-BismoI?" " What about your big inspection?" " My big inspection." "well, I guess I missed it, didn't I?" "I thought it was so important." "I rearranged everything so you could go." "So, Laura, what are you, some kind of saint?" "What do you want me to do, give you a medal?" "That makes me feel better." "I guess you've been under a Iot of pressure lately." "But when you talk to me like that, I think you mean it... and it hurts me." "Now, something is happening lately... and I feel like I don't know you anymore." "And it scares me, Doug." "You know... you go along day after day... and you tell yourself that your problems aren't serious." "They're normal." "They happen to everyone." "Or you hope that they'Il just go away by themselves." "But they don't." "It's like this house." "You always said you would fix it up." "No matter what it was, "l'lI fix it," you said." "But nothing ever gets fixed." "I need to know what you're feeling." "I need to know if you still love me." "Doug, please, just tell me what you want." "I want pizza." "What?" "I want pizza." "Give me some pizza." "Take it easy." "Thanks for sailing with us." "Good-bye." "Watch your step." "Are you guys crazy?" "What are you doing?" "What if Laura walks in?" " Not much chance of that, sport." " Yeah, not much chance of that, Rick." "Where is she?" "She left you." "What?" "Yeah, nothing but taiIlights." "She's gone, Doug." "I'm sorry." "She took the kids, packed her bags and went to her mother's." "They're in Palm Springs." "Doug, I'm so sorry." "Do you want something to eat?" "Forget that!" "Wait a minute!" "What happened with Laura?" "We had a fight." "You had a-- What are you even talking to her for?" "It's complicated." "I was pissed off over getting fired." "You got fired?" "I didn't." "He did." "You've been doing this for ten years." "You can't answer a few simple, basic questions?" " Simple questions?" " Yeah, simple." " lt was like being on "Jeopardy"!" " These are basic instructions." "They were grilling me." "You did nothing to specifications." "Knock it off!" " Dick." " Puke-face." "Did you bring me a monkey?" "Oh, man." "There's something else I think you should know." "What?" "well... it's about rule number one." "What about rule number one?" "well, crazy thing." "We had to bend it a little." "I'd say we bent it a Iot." "Damn near broke the thing off." "Did you sleep with my wife?" " Hey, Iet's have some rice cakes and" " Did you?" "I'm sorry, Doug." "She's a powerful woman." "Hey!" "Take it easy!" " She thought he was you." " She did, Doug." "The fact is... she thought I was you too." "What?" "Hey, we're not perfect." "I don't believe this." "I leave you guys alone for one day-- and you totally destroy my Iife." "We didn't destroy your life, slick." "You did." "As a matter of fact, we were trying to save it for you." "We were doing pretty good too." "We just had one bad day." "One really bad day." "We tried, Doug." "We really did." "It was a nightmare." "She was unstoppable." "It was unbelievable." "She couldn't get sat" "She touched my peppy, Steve." "I don't understand this." "We've had fights before, but" "Why did she leave?" "You don't fix stuff." "What?" "You always say you're gonna fix stuff, and then you don't fix stuff." "Did Laura say that?" "Maybe." "Did you talk to Laura before she left?" "Maybe." "I don't remember." "Maybe this will refresh your memory." "Where do you put all that stuff?" "Did you?" "Come on." "Talk to me." "Did she tell you something?" "She talked to me a Iot." "She was afraid, and she cried." "Oh, geez." "She cried?" "She cried because..." "I don't fix anything." "She's scared." "Oh, man." "She's scared." "Hey, I'm gonna buy you a present for this." "A chain saw?" "Or a book." "Something really nice. I promise." "Come on up." "I'm spitting on bugs." " What's going on?" " I need you guys to help me." " What are you doing, Doug?" " Putting my life back together." "Come on." "Let's go." " About time." " Poly blend." "WelI" " Hey, Steve, can I help?" " Grab me that plastic, would you?" " Good morning, Vic." " Doug." "You said to be here at 8:30." "I'd Iike you to note the time." " 9:15." " What?" "What the hell's the matter with-- This thing drives me nuts!" "That's all right." "Come on." "Hey, look." "I just wanna tell you I'm sorry I spoke to you the way I did." "I still think you're the best cement man in the business." "really?" "No, but I gotta get this done... and no one else is available." "well, I can accept that." "You got your own guys?" "Yep." " Okay." "Let's go to work." " Fair enough." "Wow!" "Okay!" "You heard him!" "I made some real tasty sandwiches if you want one." "Oh, great." "Tuna with curried mayonnaise." "Ooh, I like that." "I know." "That's why I made them." " Let me ask you something." " Sure." "You know the other night... when you were" "when you were with Laura?" "Doug, I'Il tell you something." "When that woman wants something, Doug, there is no stopping her." "And strong?" "Does she work out?" "Because" "Okay." "all right." "I don't wanna know any of the specifics." "No. I know." " lt's just that" " Do you think" "Do you think she liked you... you know, more than she likes me?" "Of course not, Doug!" "First of all, Doug, you are me." "I am you." "Do you understand?" "Yeah, that's right." "Yeah, sure, you know." "I'm me." "You're me." "I'm you." "I know she loves you." "You know..." "I wasn't really there for her, I think." "I mean, even" "Even when I was there, I wasn't there." "You know?" "Remember what you said to me about quality time with Laura and the kids?" "Trust me. lt's all quality time." "Yeah, that's for sure." "all right, now." "You have to brush your teeth, okay?" "And don't forget your books and your jackets." "Grandpa's gonna take you to school, and I'Il pick you up." " Say good-bye to me." " Bye, Mommy." "Dad!" "Did you come to take us home?" "Yep." "You guys go in the house and let me talk to Daddy?" "You can see Daddy later." " Bye, Daddy." " See you later." "Come on, you guys." "Hurry up." " So, how was the desert?" " Oh, it was great." "It was just what I needed." "'Cause, you know, I saw on the weather... that it was like 175 degrees." "It was a little hot." "all right, look, Laura." "Here's the deal." "I'm gonna ask you to come back home, okay?" "But I'm not gonna plead with you." "Don't expect that." "If you say yes, great." "But I'm not gonna stand out here in front of all these neighbors and beg." "Don't expect me to do that." "Come home, great." "You don't, fine." " Doug, I just don't think" " Please, Laura!" "Stop that!" "Get up!" "Why didn't you talk to me?" "I gave you a chance." " It was just so mean." " That wasn't me." "That's just the point." "You've been acting like a lunatic lately." "Listen, I just got a little confused about who I was." "all right, I got real confused about who I was." "Hon, look, it's happened to you." "You wanna be a mom... but you also wanna work." "You wanna be completely independent... but you need to be taken care of a little, right?" "Yes." " It gets confusing, doesn't it?" " Yes." "Please come home with me for just a minute so I can show you something." " Doug, I just" " Come on." "Just for a minute." "Oh, it's beautiful!" "See?" "This is perfect." "Great, right?" " The wall's gone." " Yeah." "It's just like I dreamed." "It's" " Oh, Doug." " So glad you like it." "It's so pretty." "How did you do this?" "well, I had some of the boys pitch in and help me out, you know?" "Got some of the guys to do some work and just got it done." "If you put your mind to it, I think you can do anything." "So, what do you think?" "I think it's a miracle." "It's good, right?" "I told you I'd finish it." "I just needed the time to get it done." "You know what?" "I'm thinking of starting my own contracting business." "What do you think?" "That way, I couId set my own hours and pace myself." "I mean, I don't wanna do anything big." "I'm gonna start off with small jobs." "Bird houses and mailboxes." "Stuff like that." "That'd be nice." "Man." "I love you so much." "I mean, I just like" "I just really love you." "Whatever I do... whatever you need to do... as long as we're both rowing the same boat, right?" "We'lI be fine, don't you think?" "Yeah, I think." "Me too." " Bye, honey." " Bye, Daddy!" "So, where you guys headed?" "Wherever the road takes us, Doug." "We're thinking about maybe going down to florida." "Stop off at Vegas, of course." "Hey, we're gonna eat a dolphin!" "Hey, Lenny, you're not gonna eat a dolphin, pal." "You're gonna pet one." "Oh, yeah." "That's right." "We're gonna pet one." "We're gonna pet a dolphin." "You gonna be all right?" " Yeah, we're gonna be all right." " We're gonna be fine, Doug." "Don't worry." "How about you?" "You gonna be all right?" "Yeah, I'm gonna be fine." "Wow." "Hey, I'lI tell you one thing:" "You're three good-Iooking guys." " Thanks." " When he's right, he's right." "well, I guess." "Okay, man." "I'll see you." " Bye, Doug." " See you, Steve." "Mom, if a T rex fought with a tank... who do you think would win?" "I don't know, honey." "I'm not realIy" "You know how you can tell when you really love someone?" "How?" "When everyone you see reminds you of them." "Dear Doug:" "Greetings from sunny Miami." "Well, I'm happy to report that we've been open for six months now... and business is really booming." "Two is so happy, because in this job... he gets to meet so many new people every day, and, well... you know how nice he can be when he wants to be." "Let's bump chests." "As for me... I am cooking up a storm and having a ball." "Pizzas are selling like crazy." "They just can't seem to get enough of my pepperoni." "And Doug, you would be so proud of Four." "He's working two jobs now and doing very well." "In the morning, he delivers newspapers." "And then the rest of the day he delivers pizzas for us." "Hey, pizza!"

"Coach Ray Drecker, a west lakefield legend." "he started out as west lakefield's star athlete" "And a member of the legendary wolves class of '84" "When he lettered in three sports." "After attending university of central florida" "On a prestigious baseball scholarship," "Coach Ray chose to return to west lakefield high as a coach, history teacher and all-around inspiration." "Not only did she make me sound like a turd, she left out the best parts." "Like my contract with the braves and my ligament injury, like how i tasted and came close to greatness." "Ssince then, coach Ray has been with us through thick and thin." "Through the good times and the bad times, coach Drecker's always there when we need him." "Is that what i was to them?" "The guy who was there?" "the guy they can count on to stay behind when they leave?" "...and go to college and forget our high school days," "Coach Drecker will be here." "Coach Drecker is always here for us." "which is why the student council has chosen to make coach Ray the recipient of our fall fundraiser "meet you at the carwash."" "Okay." "Coach, we know you lost your roof in the fire." "So we thought we'd buy you a structural beam." "We think this $235 will buy you about 1 1/2 beams," "Depending on the quality of the wood." "We hope you enjoy the beams for many years to come." "Then they gave me the pickle jar." "this is Ray." "I lost my old phone in the fire, so make sure and leave your number." "Ray, you have to give me an answer, okay?" "At least tell me which way you're leaning," "Because this train is really leaving the station." "Did you bring pictures?" "Uh, no." "Well, how can i choose then?" "You have to trust me." "i choose for you." "It's a responsibility i take very seriously," "Very seriously in every way." "It's what i do." "What if you send me some kind of freak?" "Not gonna happen. i would never employ a freaky guy." "I really just want somebody calm and normal." "No liars or addicts or drug users." "That's why a service like mine can come in so handy, molly." "I personally vet every individual who works for me." "And as you can see, i'm a woman just like you." "A normal person sitting across the table." "I don't like the idea of some muscled-out" "Shiny-looking-probably-gay boy gyrating on me." "Anonymous sex ads are a turnoff, but that doesn't mean that i don't feel" "Very sexy sometimes" "And wish that life could be a little more simple," "You know, in that way." "Yeah, it's really true." "Yeah, i can understand what reasonable women want because i am one of those women." "That's why we're called happiness consultants." "Here, let me give you one of our refrigerator magnets." "It's a freebie." "Yeah." "Make sure you throw me a good-looking one then." "Naturally." "And make sure he doesn't have a small... you know..." " Yeah... wiener." "Lenore said she'd never had such" "Look..." "I get enough teeny-weeny dick already." "Don't even send me medium size." "i'm not even kidding." "Molly, relax." "We have no problems in that arena." "Oh my god." "Can you believe the things lenore introduces me to?" "I mean, it's not like i do this every day of the week." "Did lenore mention the price?" "She said i should pay upfront." "300." "That's a 50% first-time discount" "I only give that to lenore's friends." "Okay." "So when should i get that to you?" "Well, i'm good to wait right here if you want to, um..." "Go get it at the atm." "It's got a very reasonable surcharge." "Uh, how do you keep from shooting yourself?" "Try to keep one foot in front of the other." "I was going to put up a roof beam this weekend." "Okay." "Well, thanks for showing it to me." " Sure." "I hope it stops the problems." " Yeah, me too." "Why in the world would i have nightmares about this place?" "All of my possessions did not get burned up." "None of my stuff was even here." "Right." "just all my stuff." "Exactly." "I should go." " Yeah." "Oh, by the way, I'm thinking of flying darb to new york tomorrow." "You know, like unexpectedly." "take her to "mamma mia."" "Tomorrow is my night, jess." "I know, but she's depressed, Ray." "it's boy trouble." "I don't think dad's night at the drive-in is really gonna cheer her up." "Maybe it will cheer her up." "Maybe dad's night at the drive-in is just what she needs." "Hey, look." "Something of mine was here." "Huh, my nutcracker." "hey, do you mind?" " no, you have at it." "Go crack some nuts." "20 years of marriage and she misses the nutcracker." "What the hell is she looking at?" "It's called work, lady." "One foot in front of the other it sounded so easy when mom used to say it." ""just put one foot in front of the other and good things will come."" "Ray." "Ray!" "You never called me back." "Ray, i know you're in there." "It's freezing out here so i'm coming in." "So are you quitting or not?" "Come on, Ray, knock it off." "You're leaving me hanging out on a limb." "Come on, tanya." "I can't deal with this right now." "Are you getting sick?" " No." "Seriously, I don't mean to be negative, But th is how people get pneumonia and die." "I'm a camper." "I can camp out here all winter if i need to." "Could you please not be arrogant about your health?" "A man your age needs heat." "What do you mean, a man my age?" "I have a confession to make. i booked you two appointments tomorrow." "They're lenore's recommendations." "it's no bullshit, Ray." "A very nice womannamed molly want you tomorrow afternoon." "I can't." "Tomorrow i'm busy." "what makes you so busy?" " i'm putting in a roof beam." "A roof-- by yourself?" "Are you delusional?" "Men have built homes with their bare hands for centuries." "And i'm going to do it with whatever cash comes my way." "Starting with this pickle jar." "These are very wealthy prospects, Ray." "They could easily turn into regulars." "Do you know what that means?" "They both prepaid in advance, cash." "Probably a lot more than what's in that pickle jar." "So if you ask me, i think that you should" "Postpone your roof project." "richard?" " uh..." "Are you Richard?" " Are you Molly?" "You're very, uh..." "You seem like a very nice woman." "Thank you." "You're very..." "Handsome." "very attractive." "Um... thanks." "You're not a private investigator, are you?" " A what?" "I just suddenly thought, "oh great, my husband hired a p.i."" "So you don't have a camera hidden somewhere on your body?" "Nope." "Can I check?" " Um, sure." "Okay." "Listen, do you have any aspirin?" "I have ibuprofen." "do you want some?" " great." "Whoa, molly." "I'm feeling so lousy." "I've been spending a lot of time outdoors." "Are you gonna be okay?" "You know, i don't think so." "Shit, this is bad." "Molly, i don't want to give you want i got." "Yeah." "Shit, i don't think i'm the right guy for the job right now." "I'm sorry." "i've got to go." "Okay." "Bye." "what did hammer say?" " doesn't matter." "I didn't want to have sex with him, so that's probably why." "What did that ass-fucker say?" "He said he was fine with it." "And then he started putting me down" "With little comments, you know?" "Are you sure he wasn't just flirting?" "Mom, he was making fun of my thighs." "Does that sound like he was flirting to you?" "Well, yeah, i know." "But when i was in high school, for example," "Guys used to tease me mercilessly about my rear end." "I'm not you." " I know." "So please do not compare my life to yours." "I don't want to hear about your butt." "Okay." "Oh, that black looks good, damon." "I'm so glad you came with us." "That's not effeminate at all." "Lots of guys get their nails done." "It doesn't mean you're gay." " I'm not gay." "Well, you're right." "i love you guys." "What do you mean he didn't fuck you?" "Anyway, maya saw him with some skinny girl." "And when i texted him about it he didn't write back." "It's been like two days, so i'm probably dumped." "Forget him, darby." "hammer reeks." "That's just his funky glands." "Would you stop defending him?" "It's over." "I don't give a shit if he was sick, he got paid to fuck you." "It's his job to come through." "Excuse me." "Listen, molly, if he didn't fuck you, you're definitely gonna get reimbursed." " There are children here." "Excuse me for a second." " What?" "Your language, my kids don't need to be exposed." "Sweetheart, i'm gonna have to call you back." "Do you have a problem with me?" "I just might if you don't temper your language." "Here, babe." "If you ever want to pick out an outfit to match that stick up your ass," "Give me a call." "How tanya talked me over to her place i'll never know." "i'm not the type who needs babying when i'm sick." "Oh, god. don't look at it." "Don't think about it." "don't wonder where it came from." "I'm coming in." "I'm not looking." "I'm gonna put your yerba mate" "On the tub here." "And, um, how's the salts?" "The what?" "The bathe salts. they're supposed to be reinvigorating." "Good." "I suppose i really should have just got a z-pack." "Oh what, you're gonna slam your body with drugs now, Ray?" "Antibiotics are bad even for chickens." "Will you turn around, tanya?" " I feel weird" "Talking to the back of your head." "I-i didn't want to impose upon your privacy." "I'm not shy." "you know what i think?" "I think this whole "i'm sick" thing is psychosomatic." "tanya, my head is pounding." " Ray, come on." "Right before you're supposed to perform, you get sick?" "I got no problems performing, okay?" "Soon as i'm better, i'll perform any night of the week." "Can you handle twice in a night?" "Twice in a night" "Is child's play, Tanya." "That's fantastic, because you have Molly at 8:00 and another one at 11:00." " great." "Molly, huh?" "What about Molly?" " No, just" "You know, i don't know" "If i really feel comfortable doing molly." "Why the hell not?" " I don't know. it's just..." "She's not really my type." "Not your type?" "what's your type, Ray?" "She's just not" "Exactly what i was expecting." " What were you expecting?" "I don't know." "just, you know, someone" "Who looks like they're sexually active." "You mean somebody you want to be sexually active with." "My god, so insulting." "What?" "Insulting to who?" " I mean, come on, Tanya." "You have me flying blind out there." "I got rights too, you know." "Happiness consultants does not discriminate." "Not every customer is going to be some perfect big-breasted 10." "I mean, why don't you try expanding that pea-sized brain of yours" "And getting turned on by a woman's mind?" "We're not talking about my mind here." "We can't control who opens that door." "It's part of your job to walk through it anyway." "Who needs "mamma mia," huh?" "Dad, your mask is distracting me from the movie." "You're probably not even infectious." "All right, maybe you're right." "The car's a closed environment kids." "I thought i'd play it safe." "Why are outdoor movies always so violent?" "Blood and gore plays great on the big screen." "It's the great tradition of the b movie." "Yeah, the family that screams together stays together." "not in our case." " come on, darb." "We hang out, right?" "we're still together." "Dreckers don't let tough times get them down." "Where are you going?" "I need popcorn." " Darby, wait." "What the hell's going on?" " It's her ex-boyfriend." "What, that hammer kid?" "What the hell's his problem anyway?" "Stay here and i'll handle it, all right?" "Forget about him, darb." "just ignore him." "Let's leave. pretend like you don't even know him." "Shut up." "hi, hammer." "Hey, darb." "what's up?" "Um, not much." "Hi, i'm tracie." "Can we talk for a second, please?" "You mean like now?" "She texted you and you never even answered, you asswipe." "When?" " Two fucking days ago." "Damon, stop it." " No, you stop, Darby." "I'm handling this." "You want to know who's got back, hammer?" "You've got back." "Chill out before i kill you, dude." "Stay away from my sister, dude." " i'll pay for it." "You'll what?" "fuck his popcorn." "Fuck you, you wienie motherfucker." "Hey hey hey hey!" "break it up." "hey, what's going on here?" " dad, i have it under control." "Yeah, i can see that, damon." "you hammer?" " yes, sir." "What's wrong with you?" "you upset my daughter," "You're about to hit my son when you're like twice as fat." "Dad, it wasn't hammer's fault." "damon started it." "All right." "He doesn't love you, darb." "why are you taking his side?" "I can talk to hammer if i want to, okay?" "Stop frickin' ruining this for me." "Both of you." "take it down." " oh, wait!" "This sucks." "All right, i got eyes on them." "She knows i'm not gonna let her drive home with that kid, right?" "Damester." "hey, man, you crying?" "no." " why is your face all wet?" "I'm not crying, dad." "It's just..." "Sometimes life is just too much." "Listen, when life gives you lemons-- what, you make lemonade?" " well, yeah." "If you like lemonade." "I've been a jock, student leader, professional ballplayer, an educator." "is this really the material from which male prostitutes are made?" "Hey." "Hi." "It's Ray Drecker." "Remember?" "Tanya's friend." "Yes, the vintage car guy, right?" "Yeah, right." "Tanya's friend." "Yeah, you remember the other night?" "What night?" "With you and me and tanya." "Are you referring to my student tanya skagle?" "Right." " The point is?" "There is no point." "I just recognized you and thought i'd say hi." "Hi." "I don't think you should spend time with tanya, Ray." "She's going places." "do you know what i'm saying?" "Excuse me?" "I just think that young woman should be surrounded" "With inspirational people and positive influences, that's all." "She doesn't need a quitter." "What do you mean a quitter?" "i'm not a quitter." "you don't even know me." " you're right, Ray." "I don't. so i'll just be jogging on." "By the way, how's the vintage car business coming?" "It's good." "it's great!" "Thanks for asking." "Running into floyd was like a bad dream." "did i really look like a quitter?" "are you done with the circuit city thing?" "Oh god, i am so sorry." "I am so slow tonight." "i'm off my game." "Honey, i don't care." "Iit felt like a symbolic kind of thing-- ordering a beam." "one foot in front of the other." "a step in the right direction, you know?" "It's not in there, Ray." "I counted only 143." " 143." "Maybe there's a missing $100 bill." "Maybe under one of these piles or something." "I don't think so." "143." "So that's just enough" "For about a half a structural beam, right?" "What kind of beam do you have in mind exactly?" "A house beam." "A structural beam to enjoy for many years to come." "I guess you mean a ridge beam." " Yes." "Well, 143 wouldn't buy you half a ridge beam, okay?" "In fact, we don't even sell half beams." "What good is a half beam anyway?" "The beam costs $500 to make" "And it does not include the price of wood." "Step over here, please." "That damn pickle jar." "It really did say it all." "Sorry about the other day." "i just-- i had this 24-hour bug thing." "i mean, i had the flu shot." "it must have been some weird strain or something." "Yeah, it's been going around." "My husband had it too." "I thought maybe it was me." "You?" "Molly." "Why would you think it was you?" "Whew, that's a relief." "I felt really bad that i canceled." "I was looking forward to this." "So..." "What happens next?" "May i?" "You're so..." "Oh, dear." "What's wrong?" "My husband, Richard." "He, uh-- he doesn't..." "He wants to have sex with me" "Every morning at 6:00 a.m." "That's the way he wants to start his day." "He says he has a high testosterone level" "And we don't have sex he can't start his work day" "And he'll end up cheating on me." "But he's terrible at sex." "He has no talent for it." "No equipment for it." "Oh, and the worst thing is" "I don't know how to tell him no." "That must be..." "Challenging." "I'm sorry, i can't go through with this." "You mean you don't want to do anything?" "Every time i think of intercourse i see his face." "I think you should go." "Why don't we just relax?" "Just see what happens?" "I can't." "You know, you were interested enough to get me here." "And then you got me here again." "And this might be your first time..." "But this is what i do." "I'm a professional." "It's my job" "To make you forget about your husband." "You might have a hard time saying no to him..." "But i promise you, molly," "You won't have a hard time saying yes to me." "I wouldn't mind just looking at your penis." "You want to look at it?" "I think that'd make me happy." "I changed my mind." "You're nothing like my husband, are you?" "I doubt we have much in common." "What's the second address, tanya?" "You went?" "Sure i went." "and i'm going again." "Really, Ray?" "oh my god," "That's fantastic." "you're a god." "You're not the only woman to say that tonight, if you catch my drift." " i'll text you the address." "I've been sitting here, Ray, about to shoot myself." "Just seeing visions of me here, just stuck and getting older" "And surrounded by all these fucking papers" "And all these people's photographs of all their stupid kids." "Ray, are you there?" "A jock, a student leader, a professional ballplayer, an educator, a gigolo." "perhaps an excellent gigolo." "an enthusiastic, fucking fantastic fucker." "Hi."

"Subs created by:" "David Coleman." "Hm, let's see..." " Three crack." " Oh!" "Two bam." "_." "What's your problem?" "_." "_." "Nona!" "Look, Sam and I came to see you." "I can't wait to leave." "Oh, it's my granddaughter, Cat." "Over here baby." "Hi." "Look, we brought you presents." "For your butt." "For my what?" "Your bottom." "I don't know what she's talking about." "Sure you do." "The other day you told Sam and me how the stools here at Elderly Acres are really hard, so when you sit on them they make your butt sore." "I never said that." "_." "_." "So..." "We made you these cushions." "We call 'em "stool softeners"." "Okay." "Bye, girls." "No." "Wait, wait, who wants to try a stool softener?" "I'll take one." "Oh, my pills." "Oh." "This could take a while." "Oh." "Now, Cat, when I told you about my sore bottom..." "I didn't mean I wanted you to come in here and tell everyone at Elderly Acres about it." "Runaway scooter!" "Daddy!" "No!" "Oh!" " Daddy!" " Carl!" "Oh, thank you so much for pushing my father out of the way." "Sure, it was fun." "Are you all right?" "I think so, thanks to this little girl who saved me." " Ah, it was nothing." "Is there a reward?" " Sam!" "I saved him." "Well, yeah, but we're a team." "What do you mean?" "Well, my granddaughter Cat and her abrasive friend Sam here are professional babysitters." "So there is a reward?" "No!" "You know, you should think about having them babysit your little Oscar." "Her Oscar?" "Oscar's my little boy." "And I don't think I could ever leave him with a babysitter." " Why not?" " He's very clumsy." "He's just always getting hurt." "He's an embarrassment to the whole family." "Oh, he's accident prune?" "You mean accident prone." "Naw, I'm pretty sure it's prune." "I like prunes." "I'll wander off." "I think you can trust Sam and Cat to babysit Oscar." "You saw how Cat protected your father." " Yeah." " Uh..." "Are you sure you girls would take good care of him?" " Promise." " Probably." "Here, for saving my life, please take this hundred dollars." "Oh, I can't take that." "Yeah." "She can't take that." "* I'm never that far." "* No matter where you are." "* Believe it, we can make it come true." "* We'll do it our way, no matter what they say." "* Because no one's gonna do it for you." "* Ooh, ooh, yeah!" "* But I, I, I, I..." "* I'll never say, never." "* As long as we keep it together." "* Oh!" "* If you're living a dream, and you know what it means." "* Then you can't let them change your mind." "* It's the life that we choose, and we still break the rules." "* But it's all gonna be just fine." "* Just fine." "* Yeah, we're all gonna be just fine." "* You and me we're gonna be just fine." "* Oh." "Um..." "Sam, Sam, wake up." "Sam, wake up." "What'd I do now?" "You can't prove anything." " Sam." " What?" "Look at Oscar." "You interrupted my nap to make me look at a kid slurping' noodles?" " Come on." " Ugh!" " Oscar?" " Yes, Ma'am?" "Um..." "Don't you want us to take you out for lunch?" " No, no, no, no, no, no." " But..." "His Mom said we can't take him anywhere or do anything with him." "Since when do you do what anyone says?" "Since it means I'm getting paid ten bucks an hour for napping." "But babysitting is supposed to make kids happy." "Right, Oscar?" "Don't you wanna be happy?" "I dunno, what's it like?" " Did you hear that?" " Do you hear this?" "Well, don't you at least want a fork?" "Oh, no." "The last time I used a fork I punctured my throat." "Well, don't you want us to make you a fun sandwich or a hot dog or something?" "Ugh, listen, his Mom was super clear on what we could feed him." " I know but..." " Ut!" "She said he can only have one portion..." "From this sack of cold..." "Wet noodles." "Well, can't we at least snazz up that spaghetti with some sauce and a meatball?" "Sauce can splatter and get in my eye." "Oh." "And when I was nine I choked on a meatball." "Poor Oscar." "My friend Felix had to squeeze it outta me." "I won't tell you where it came out." "Well, how about pizza?" "Pizza has sharp corners." "So, all you can have are those cold wet noodles?" "Oh, no." "I can also have warm water from this rubber cup." "Sam, it's not funny, it's sad!" "Yeah, hilariously sad." "May I please stand up and go visit your bathroom?" "Sam." "Sure you can." "Thank you so much." "I love that kid." "We are taking that boy out to lunch, to Bots, so he can have a fun time." "Oh, come on, why blow a good thing?" " We're getting paid to do nothing." " But it's wrong." "Okay." "So then if we take him to Bots and he gets hurt, then what?" "It's a restaurant." "How could somebody get hurt in a..." "Ah, help me!" "Predicament!" "Predicament!" "Ah!" "Oscar!" "What happened?" "I slipped on some lotion and fell in the toilet." "Sam." "How can you breathe in there?" "I found an air pocket." "Here, I know how to get him out." "Don't flush that toilet." "Hey, Goomer, come on, we got training to do." "Hey, dude, you know, you can punch better if you keep your elbows in more." "Like this." "See?" "Give it a shot." "There you go, see?" "Snap it, left-right, come on." "Nice, elbows in." " Oh hey, there ya are." " How could you?" " What?" " You're training another man." " Goomer." " I can't believe it." "What happened to us?" "Dude, I was just showing him a couple moves." "You're the only fighter I manage." "Don't touch me." "Ah, jeez." "I leave for two minutes to get a pudding cup!" "And I come back to catch you with another fighter." "Just eat your pudding." "No." "I might choke on my own disappointment." " Hey, Dice." " Hi." " Hey, guys, what's up?" " Well..." "Be careful, Sam and Cat." "Next time you come in here," "Dice'll probably be talking to two other teenage girls." "We're trying to work through some stuff." "We're trying to work through stuff." "My goodness, is this a real gymnasium?" " Yeah." " Normal people call it a gym." "Do they?" " Who's that?" " Some kid we're babysitting." "I'm a boy." "Congrats, man." "Hey, Dice, can we borrow some of the protective padding?" "You know, that fighters wear to keep them from getting hurt." "Sure, no prob." "Too bad there's no protective padding for a broken heart." "Oh my gosh." "Is this a real gum ball machine?" "Yeah, why?" "I've heard about gum like this in ball form." "Oscar, you can have a gum ball if you want." "Yay!" "Now what do I do?" " Just turn the knob thing." " Of course." " Cat, go get it for him." " Kay-Kay." "No, no, no, no, no." "I'll get it." " You see it?" " No, not yet." "Oh, Sir, there's a boy under there, be..." "Ah!" "Predicament!" "Predicament!" "Ah!" "Ah!" "Did you find your gum ball?" "How's your back?" "Eh, it's a little sore." "Well, at least you found your gumball." " No, I didn't." " Oh." "Well, then..." "Have some salt." "You know, you look so cute in your protective padding." "Yeah." "You sure don't look stupid." "Thanks." "I feel so safe and snazzy in it." "Yay." "But, you know, you don't need to wear that stuff in a restaurant." "No?" "No, there's nothing dangerous in here." "Hello." "Welcome to Bots." "Thanks." "We're spear fishermen." "I see." "We wanna eat lunch." "It okay if we bring our spear guns in here?" "Hmm." "Are they loaded?" " Oh yeah." " They are loaded." "Well, sure." "Have a seat at that table right near the boy wearing the red protective padding." "Great, thanks." " Appreciate it." " Sure." "All right." " Nachos!" " Woo!" "You like nachos?" "I don't know." "They look risky." " They're fine." " Nah." "Are you sure?" "I yearn to be safe." "You're not gonna get harmed in a restaurant." "Aw, man, my tarantula got out." "Anybody seen my tarantula?" "Big spider?" "About the size of my hand?" "Super poisonous?" "Hey, how come our nachos don't have as much cheese as their nachos?" "Yeah." "Hey, we have a problem over here." "Hi." "Are you done with your foods?" "No." "We don't have enough cheese on our nachos." "Oh no!" "More nacho cheese for table nine." "Understood." "Ah man, I gotta buy me a new spear gun." " Why?" "What's wrong with that one?" " The trigger." "It's loose." "Yeah, the thing goes off all the time, even when I don't want it to." "Yikes." "Try not to bump it." "I'll try." "Hello." "I've been notified you want more cheese on your nachos." " Yep." " Right there." "Please keep your hands away from the plate." "This cheese is extremely hot." " All right." " Okay." "Cheese." "Ah!" "Ah!" "Ah, it's hot!" "Ah!" "Hot cheese!" "Predicament!" " Oh no!" " Ah!" "Hot cheese predicament!" "Ah!" "Ah!" "Ah!" "Ugh!" "How's your face feel?" "Not so good." "That cheese was so hot." "Oscar, we're so sorry." " I'm not." " Sam!" "Hey, I'm the one who said we never should've taken him out of here in the first place." "Well, yeah, but..." "I'm gonna have to agree with Sam on that one." "See?" "The kid knows." "I just wanted him to have some fun." "That's sweet, but I'm not meant for fun." "Aw." "I'm better off sitting on the floor reading a book." "Surrounded by soft pillows." "No." "That's so sad." "These noodles are gross." "Come on, we still have two hours until your Mom gets back." "Can't you think of one fun thing you wanna try?" " Like what?" " I dunno, uh..." "Ride a bike, or deep fry a turkey..." "Pet a unicorn." "Any of those activities would result in severe injury to my person." "You can deep fry a turkey?" "Oh!" "What about sports?" "Is there a sport you like?" "Is spelling a sport?" " No." " Ha!" "Ooh, I do like to watch golf on the television." "Golf." "Okay." "Golf is fun, I guess." "Sam?" "It's almost dark." "We are not taking the kid to play golf." "Can't we just go to one of those places where you hit the golf balls?" " Dude..." " What could go wrong?" "What could go wrong?" "Remember when he tried to take a wazz and landed upside-down in our toilet?" "That happens to me all the time." "Come on." "We'll just call Dice and Goomer and we'll all go together, we'll be sure to protect Oscar, and we'll have a fun time." " Ow!" " What now?" "My pants are pinching me." "And step..." "And step..." "And step." " And yay!" " Yay!" "Wow." "Look at all the clubs and balls." "Yeah." "What's going on?" "Golf." "I know, but where are the horses?" "Horses?" "You must be thinking of tennis." "There's no horses in golf." "Yeah." "They got rid of 'em?" " Huh?" " You must be thinking of tennis." "All right." "Was that thunder?" " Yeah." "Probably gonna rain." " Well, let's get to it." " We're at tee box number six." " Yeah." "And let's hurry." "Yeah." "So nothing bad happens to Oscar." "Let's go, let's go." "Go, go, go." "Scooch over, scooch over, people." "We don't have time for this, we're keeping a boy safe." "Yay!" "Yay." " So, you guys made up?" " Yeah." "I'm not mad at Dice anymore on account of he bought me a new watch." "Aw, sweet." "Ah, it was nine bucks." "Look." "It's got a purple squirrel on it." "See?" "His arms and legs tell you the time." "Her arms and legs." "Am I really gonna whack some golf balls?" "Well, there's really nothing else you can whack." "Wow." "But you're gonna wear this helmet, and we're all gonna stand around you." " To keep you from getting hurt." " Thank you." "Yeah." "That's definitely a lady squirrel." "Goomer." "Hey, my mouth feels dry." "Is it all right if I go get some water?" "I brought my rubber cup." " Sure." " I don't care." "There's a water fountain over there by the club hut." "Kay-Kay." "Ah!" "Predicament!" "Ah!" "Predicament!" "Ah!" "Predicament!" "Poor kid." "Never got his cup of water." "This is shocking." "What kind of babysitters are you?" "Usually we do a pretty decent job." "Your kid's got some real problems." "You think I don't know that?" "It's why I gave you specific rules, which you just ignored." "We didn't just ignore your rules." "We thought about 'em, then we ignored 'em." "Yeah." "Clearly." "And thanks to you "babysitters"." "My son fell in a toilet!" "Had a large man almost crush him, and got repeatedly whacked in the face with golf clubs." " Don't forget the hot cheese." " Got him right in the face." "It's true." "But, hey, at least the driving range guy gave him this free golf club." "And all I had to do was sign a piece of paper promising not to sue." "Oscar, go wait outside." " But I think it's starting to rain out..." " Just..." "Yes, Ma'am." "Well?" "Say something." "I ate your gross bag of noodles." "You shouldn't have said that." "Too late now." "Come on, Oscar, I'm taking you away from these irresponsible girls right now." " No!" " What?" "First, you apologize to Sam and Cat." "Apologize?" "For what?" "For shouting at them after they gave me the best day of my life." "Yeah, I got hurt." "Real bad!" "But for the first time in my life, I had fun." "I went to the bathroom alone." "I saw gum in ball form." "I felt hot cheese..." "And I went to a place of golf." "We had fun with you, too, Oscar." "Mm, kinda." "Oh, Oscar, what is your point?" "That living life, trying new things..." "It's worth getting a little hurt sometimes." "Yeah." "Haven't you heard the 47 songs that say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger?" "That's so true." "I mean, look at me." "I'm okay." "I'm still standing here with my very own golf club." "Ah!" "Predicament!" "Predicament!" "Predicament!" "*Rap so hot yeah, I spit that fire." "*Live so good even my driver got a driver." "*Wrist so ice got bling that'll blind you." "*And a pink Caddie coupe call it sweet and low rider." " *Yeah!" " Woo!" "*I'm living that good life, baby can't ya see?" "*Big bossin' on the corner they got all eyes on me." "*And I'm back for the thrill of it." "*Folks they say I'm killing it, fact I'm just a little bit short of many millions." "*Rap is what I'm stickin' with that's how I be getting rich." "*So I bust a little bit about how I be living it." "*I'm living that good life, baby can't ya see?" "*Big bossin' on the corner they got all eyes on me."

"You're not supposed to be here." "You know better." "It's a beautiful night." "Share it with me." "You can get yourself back in." "You're mad." " Birdie." " Don't call me that." "We can skip your exercise." "You fit that in last night." "I was... trying to talk to you." "I'm not interested in that talk." " Anna..." " No." "It won't change anything." "Hey." "You must be Anna." "Who are you?" "Oh, sweetie, did he not tell you that I was coming?" "I'm the lawyer." "So your brother's already approved these." "He's taken care of everything, so when the time comes, you won't have to make any arrangements." "I just need a signature." "Anna, I'm here to help Conrad get what he wants." "What he wants is for you to be taken care of." "My mother had it too." "Not pancreatic, but..." "I do know how hard it is." "And acceptance is only a choice that you can make." "Then I won't choose." "Submitted for your approval." "Today's offering, meatloaf." "Loaf, confirmed." "Meat... jury's out." "Green beans almondine:" "Nutty, beanie." "And the pièce de résistance?" "Apple cobbler, sweet, tart." "Uh-huh." "Uh..." "It's... it's really good." " This a bad time?" " No, she was just leaving." "As soon as I get a signature." "Okay, alright." "I got you." "Okay." "Okay." "It's okay." "I don't know how I'm gonna do this without you." "Ah..." "I'll be with you." "You don't believe in that stuff." "I'm not talking about that stuff." "I'm talking about us." "What we've been through together." "You're stronger now because of it." "Hey... you can't stay locked up forever." "You have to get out and be a part of the world." "I don't want the world to leave me alone." "That's not the way it works." "It's time to forgive Dad." " Birdie..." " Stop." "I will never forgive him for what he did." "Anna..." "I have terrible news." "Beef Stroganoff." "But there's a glimmer of hope." "Tater tots!" "Maybe it's good." "He's not suffering anymore." "There's gotta be some kind of relief in that, right?" "You've been so strong this whole time." "Never heard you complain." "Not once." "On this job, trust me, it's rare." "It's not a relief." "Yeah." "Sorry, that came out wrong." "All I mean is... it's impressive, you know." "You're impressive." "So what's the plan, then?" "Are you... gonna keep the place, or..." "What?" " Are you gonna keep the place?" " Oh, of course." "Where would I go?" "No, it's just some people need to leave in order to move on." "But... this is my home." "Yeah, okay." "Could you leave that easily?" " You know, I shouldn't have asked." " No." "Could you?" "Well... not everybody feels so strongly about home." "Not everybody feels like they have a home." "Then why haven't you left?" "One guess." "Girlfriend." "No." "I haven't really made the best decisions in that department." "Whoa." "That's your last reason for not leaving, right?" "Uh, I..." "I..." "I can't take this." "No, I have more than I know what to do with, honest." "Take it." "Make your escape." "I'm sorry." "I just can't." "Hello." "You've reached the Rook residence." "Conrad and Anna aren't available right now." "If you leave a message, I will return your call." "Hey, Anna." "This is Charlotte." "Um, I was just thinking about you, and I wanted to let you know how proud I am of you for, you know, facing your fears, and getting out there and going to your brother's funeral." "Um, so I guess I'll see you there." "Okay, bye-bye." "Hey, Anna." "This is Charlotte." "I know you've been struggling, but you can do this." "I'll see you at the funeral, sweetie." "Stay strong." "Anna, are you there?" "Anna, please pick up the phone." "Look, the funeral's starting." "If you leave now, you can still make it." "Please come." "I really hope you..." "Hey, go around back." "And don't let anyone see you." "Alright, let's make this quick." "You know what to look for." "What's that?" "Find her." "Cut the phone line." "She's upstairs!" "What the hell?" "You're not supposed to be here." "Please, stop looking at me." "Please, okay?" "Explain it to me." "Why aren't you at your brother's funeral?" "You're Anna, right?" "Okay, Anna..." "I need you to be straight with me." "I need to know where you keep the money." " What are you doing?" " Always be prepared." "I'm sorry, prepared for what?" "This is fucking crazy, JP." "We should just fucking leave, goddammit!" "Use my name again, why don't you?" "Go ahead!" "There's nothing on the scanner." "So... looks like she didn't call anybody." "Did you?" "You're an odd bird." "Look at me." "Three men break into your home and you don't call the police?" "I was scared." "I..." "I didn't have time to think." "I have a solution." "Just a quick little love tap behind the ear." "We are not doing that!" "We are not doing that!" " Hey..." " Then we burn this fucker down." " Fucking Chri... you gonna stop this shit?" " Hey, go make some coffee." " What?" " Go make some coffee." "Go." "Let the adults talk." "Ah, fuck it." "So?" "We're not killing anyone." "Can I leave you alone with her without making a mess of things?" " Of course." " I mean it." " I'm calm as fuck." " Hey, I mean it." "Scout's honor." " They don't have any coffee." " Forget it." " I've got a plan." " Oh, yeah?" "You always got a plan." "You always expect me to be a part of it, but I'm not Perry, okay?" "I'm not your fucking lapdog!" "Look, if you wanna leave, this is the time to go." "Really?" "What about you?" "I'm still thinking it through." "Look, I could get the money." " This shit just got a little complicated." " Yeah, a little." "Look, you're still clean, little brother." "Let's keep it that way, okay?" "Come on, man, you know I need this money too." "Does that mean you're with me on this, huh?" "All the way." " All the way." " Let's go find it." "Jesus." "Fucking mess, man." " What was that before?" " Just leave me alone, please." "You were gone." "Why didn't you run?" " Nowhere to go." " That's not it." "There's something else going on." "Hmm?" "What's in there?" "Vance, just get started." "I'm gonna get this room." " Ow." " You gotta be shitting me." "So you're telling me you haven't left this house..." " in over 10 years?" " Yeah." "Okay." "I can just leave this door open." "I can go make myself a cup of tea." "When I come back... you're still sitting there?" "Ah, fuck, that's sad." "This is actually really sad." "Hey, you know what?" "I think I can help you." "No, no, no!" " No!" "No!" " Huh?" "Come here!" " Stop, please!" "Please, please!" "Please stop!" " Come here!" "Come here!" "Stop!" "No, no..." "See?" "It's not so bad." "I got you." "I got you." "Okay." "What the hell did you do?" "She doesn't go outside." "I was just trying to show her." "You gonna be okay?" "Perry, go inside." "Hey, I need you to focus." " Let me back in!" " Hey, hey, hey, we go back inside," " Perry's gonna kill you." " I don't care." "Please!" "Anna." "Anna, we looked upstairs and we didn't find anything." "Look, is there an attic?" "Huh?" "Huh?" "Safe?" "Basement?" "Huh?" "Huh?" "Basement?" "Huh?" "Basement?" "Okay." "Okay, let's get you back inside." "Take her upstairs, get her cleaned up." "Well, you had your chance to leave." "Look, don't make me regret letting you stay." "Fuck." "God-fuckin'..." "Put these on." "Hey... you sure you don't want me to look after her?" "After what you just pulled?" "I'm just saying, do you really think Vance is up for this?" "He'll be fine." "You gonna tell me what we're doing down here?" "Trust me, man, we hit the jackpot." "Yeah." "Jackpot." "Uh... what the hell?" "Oh, you like sitting around in your own pee." "Got it." "Just change, please." "I..." "I can't." "Sorry." "Fuck!" "Come over here, man." "Gimme a hand with this." "I'm more curious what's behind door number two." " Why's that?" " No handle." "Uh..." "It can be hard... to be with someone who has such a strong personality." "I can tell... you're just going along." "I can see it." "Don't you fucking shrink me." "Don't think I've dealt with this my entire life?" "Maybe I was the one who found out about this place." "You ever think about that?" "I mean, maybe this whole thing was my idea?" "I don't think you realize how serious this is." " No, I do." " You've seen our faces." "You know our names." "You really think we're just gonna let you go?" " Now put on the fucking sweatpants!" " Stop!" "Please, stop!" " Stop moving, goddammit!" " Stop!" "Stop..." "Hey!" "What the hell?" " Hey!" "Get the fuck off her!" " Stop it!" " It's not what it looks like!" " What are you doing?" "Are you okay?" "You gotta listen to me, please!" "She wasn't supposed to be here, please." " Listen to me, Danny, please!" " Get back!" "Dan... you guys know each other?" " Yes, but that's not..." " No, no." "Anna, Anna, I had nothing to do with this." "You cannot be here." "You gotta get out of here, okay?" " Shit!" " Get back." "You cannot be here." "Honest to God, if we knew she was gonna be here..." " What do you mean, "we"?" " Danny boy." " Leave him alone, dude!" " Don't fucking touch me." "Where is she?" "Huh?" " Fuck." " Hey, hey, hey!" "What?" "Do you know how this has to end?" "We can't let her go." "Just find her." "Come on." "You like to disappear, don't you?" "Come out and play, little girl." "I got a few tricks of my own." "Come here." "For my next trick, I would like to invite my lovely assistant to the stage." "Anna, would you be so kind as to join us?" "I don't think she's coming." "It's really too bad." "She would've been of great value to us." "I guess I'll have to do this on my own." "Hey." "Perry!" " Open wide, Dan." " What the fuck?" "Stupid thing didn't talk." "I found her!" "Hey, you got her?" "Yeah, I got her!" "Get the fuck off there!" "Please." "Don't you understand I'm the least of your fucking worries right now?" "Please!" "Come on." "He's taking his time." "If he loses her, we'll find her." "Put out some breadcrumbs, she'll come." " Come on, man, be serious." " Maybe I am." "You got her?" "You hear that?" "Stay." "No!" "No!" "Vance!" "Vance!" "Vance!" "Vance!" "Wake up!" "Is he dead?" "Ah, goddamn." "Ah, Vance." "Hey." "Hey!" "Hey, you, open!" "Open it, you fucking bitch!" "Open the fucking door!" "Anna!" "Anna." "Come on." "Come here." "Hello?" "Hey, JP, something weird is going on here, man." "Come on, we gotta get the fuck out of here." "Oh, fuck." "You bitch!" "You fucking bitch!" "Get down here!" "Fucking bitch!" "Is she making fucking tea?" "Hey, nothing in here's gonna get us up there." " Let's drag this fucking cabinet in there." " It's bolted to the wall." "Goddammit!" "Doesn't matter." "She was behind that fucking door... and then she was up there... like that!" "The bitch doesn't have wings." "Anna!" "Anna." "Help me." "Hurry!" "Cut me loose." "Robbing me... during Conrad's funeral?" " No, no." "They did this, not me!" " Then what are you doing here?" "I wanted to be there for you." "You... you went?" "You didn't show." "I got worried." "Was it... was it nice?" "It... it was peaceful." "Nobody came?" "No, uh... it was me and..." "Charlotte and the priest." "He gave a good talk." "It was... it was really nice." "It's okay." "You know, it was... just me and him." "We only had each other." "Do you know that you've been bringing us food for almost a year?" "I checked the calendar." "Almost to the day." "It feels like longer, doesn't it?" " Anna..." " Is that how you do it?" "You go into people's homes and... steal their things and then you call your friends to go and steal all..." "They're not my friends!" "Well..." "Vance is, but... not the other two." "You told him about the money?" "I told him about you." "I told him about your situation." "And, yeah, I told him you tried to give me money." "It took me off-guard." "I didn't mean..." "I couldn't stop thinking about it." "I couldn't stop thinking about you." "You know, I almost believe you this time." "Listen to me." "I get if you hate me, but you have to believe..." "I would never hurt you." "What happened to you?" "Why don't you leave the house?" "I haven't left the house since Daddy died." "Whenever I had a problem, I could always ask Connie." "Hmm..." "He always knew how to handle any situation." "How would he handle this one?" "If you meant what you said in there, then you have to trust me." "I do." "Then you have to jump." "No!" "It'll be much safer if you turn around." "I'm not..." "I'm not doing that." "None of this would've happened if you would've just taken the money!" " You're not like this." " You have no idea what I'm like." "...you don't know me." "Help me!" " What the fuck are you doing?" " Hey!" "Shut up!" " Fuck, man." " Fuck..." "Please help." "Alright, fine." "Fuckin' let me take a look at it." " Oh." " What, is it bad?" "Fuck, it's bad." "Kneecap's dislocated." "Fuck." "Okay." "I'm gonna have to pop it back into place... before the swelling is too bad I won't be able to, okay?" " Dan." " Huh?" " It's gonna hurt." " Oh." "JP." "Hey!" "JP." "Hold his body down." "Hold him down here." "Three, two..." "That was kinda fun." "You're alright." "Thank you." "Whatever." "Vance?" " Vance!" " He's dead." " Shut the fuck up!" " Hey, let it go." "Let it go?" "We had her until this shitheel showed up." "I said we should do this just us." "You didn't want to." "I said take care of that bitch." "You said no." "Now we're stuck in a fucking basement with one live piece of shit and one dead one!" " Get a hold of yourself." " I'm a hold!" "I'm a hold of my fucking self!" "Just re-evaluate your fucking priorities, okay, JP?" "I'm not the one who's slipping." "JP." "JP!" "J..." "JP?" " Are you okay?" " I..." "I need to go to a hospital." "I can't..." "I can't take you to the hospital." "No kidding." "You can't even check your fucking mail, you psycho bitch." " Don't call me that." " What?" "Psycho, or bitch?" "We could all stop this." "Let's all stop, okay?" "Are you retarded?" "She's not gonna come down here and fucking save you, Dan!" "Can't you get him under control?" "No one fucking controls me, do you understand?" "Okay." "That's what you get!" "I'm cool." "I'm okay, JP." "Just breathe." " There's a first-aid kit." " So go get it." "No." "Down there." " It's locked." " Try again." "Don't go anywhere." "Fuck!" "Hey, open this stupid door!" "What's in there?" "What the fuck?" "Perry!" "Goddamn!" "What the fuck?" "Fucking bitch!" "Get me out of here!" "Hello?" "Can you guys hear me?" "Yo, Perry, are you there?" " Aren't you gonna do something?" " Oh..." " like what?" " Get him out of there." "Get him out of there..." "Why didn't I think of that?" "I should've thought of that." "God, what a fucking idiot." "What an idiot." "Okay, here we go." "We're just gonna get him out of there." "You just stay seated, you fucking cripple." "JP, come on out!" "Come on, buddy." " Quit fucking around." " Get me the fuck out of here!" "The door seems to be locked." "Do you remember when that happened?" " Forget it." " Is that probably when the door closed?" "Did you hear the locking mechanism?" "Yeah." "This'll do." "Come on, big fella." "Goddamn, you fat fuck." "What are you doing?" "Putting him in the doorway." "What's it look like?" "He's my friend." "He was your friend." "Now, he's a doorstop." " Hmm?" " Ah..." "Fuck." "Fuck you!" "Fuck." "Hey..." "JP." "We're gonna get you out." "Perry's looking for something." "He won't find anything." "He might." "Open it, you fucking nutty cunt!" "Dan..." "listen to me." "You know she's not gonna let us go." "Can you blame her?" "You were gonna kill her an hour ago." "Come on." "I was just playing." "Look where it got you." "JP!" "She's gonna pay for it." "Fuck this." "JP?" "JP?" "JP, I think I'm on the other side of you." "Can you hear me?" "There's a fucking noose in here." "Hey, Perry!" "Can you hear me?" "Fuck." "Nice one." "Hello?" "Anna?" "Hello?" "Anna?" "Hello?" "Is everything okay?" "Everything's fine." "Are you okay?" "Just... just a little accident." "Is that Dan's car out front?" "Oh!" "Dan came to check on me because I wasn't at the funeral." "So he broke in?" "I didn't answer the door, and he was worried I was gonna do something bad." "Is there something going on between you two?" " What?" " I knew there was something." " No." " I saw it the other day when he came over." "Well, I've just been so, um... lonely since Conrad got sick and I..." "Oh, shh." "Honey, it's okay." "Hey, you're going through a rough time." "You've done nothing wrong." "And if you can't believe that, you know what?" "You know what you need to do?" " No." " Forgive yourself." "Come here." "I'll try." "I'll call you in a few days just to see how you're doing." "That's nice, thanks." "What is that?" "Radiator." "Help!" "It's... an old house." "Dan's taking a look at it for me." "Oh." "So sweet." "I'll talk to you soon, okay?" "You're in a lot of pain, aren't you?" "Come on, I'll help you." "What'd you do?" "Have a seat." "Now lift your legs up." " Please..." " Now." "You'll understand soon." "What the fuck?" "Fuck!" "Fuck!" "God!" "Girly-girl!" "You sneaky little fuck!" "Fuck!" "I didn't know you were invited, Dan." "Perry's dead." "There's a body in the freezer." "Yeah." "You could tell me there's a unicorn in the attic, I wouldn't be surprised." "What is this place?" "Fucked up, right?" "I mean, there's another one like it upstairs." "Why would you make... the exact... bedroom?" "Are you back there, Anna?" "You watching us?" "Fu..." "We're your zoo animals now?" "Huh?" "You gonna observe us in captivity?" "Fuck." " Take it easy." " Fuck!" "You can't break it." "It's bulletproof." "You..." "There's a shirt in the dresser." "Put it on." "You know, something tells me we're not your first guests here." "You're sitting behind your little desk, aren't you?" " Huh?" " No." "What's your game, huh?" "Who do you watch back there?" " What do you do?" " Put on the shirt." "What do you do, huh?" "Daddy issues?" " Just put on the shirt." " Or else what?" " Conrad will come." " Conrad's the dead guy?" "You're making it worse." "Anna?" "Anna, please open the door." "Not yet." "Not until he puts on the shirt." "Fine!" "I'll put your shirt on." "I'll play your game." "We're gonna figure this out, Anna." "You wanna start?" "No?" "Fine." "I like puzzles." "So you trap some poor fuck in here..." "Conrad sneaks through here." "Yeah?" "Fucking airlock?" "And he kills them." "Hmm." "Alright." "Simple enough, right?" "Just stop." "But if Conrad wants to kill these guys... why's he put them in here first?" "So you could talk to them." " I..." "I didn't talk to them." " So it's Conrad, then, huh?" "What does he say?" "No, no, no, no... wrong question." "What does he want from them?" "That's the question." "And what did he do when he didn't get what he wants?" "Hey, you hungry?" "Fuck you." "No, no, no, no, no..." "Perry said there's a noose in the other room." "You drugged their food." "Then Conrad came in, drugged them out..." " and he strung them up." " Stop talking." "You know what?" "I hate to break it to you, darling, but there's no one coming through that door tonight." " Conrad's gone." " Shut up!" "You're twisting it around and you're..." "making it sound all wrong!" "But... but it's true?" "You watched Conrad kill people?" "So what?" " Supposed to absolve you?" " What is it?" "They were killing perverts." "We weren't doing a bad thing." "You have to believe me." "Murder's murder." " No!" "We were fixing them!" " Is that what you'd tell yourselves?" "It's the truth!" "They needed our help." "They were sick, just like Daddy was." "He said he loved me all along, but... that didn't stop him from doing what he did to me." "It wasn't so bad after a while, 'cause he would hold me afterwards and..." "Conrad stopped him?" "Yeah, he saved me." "He wrapped the sheet around father's neck and he pulled it so tight!" "When it was all over, Connie looked at me and I knew." "I knew he would never hurt me." "That he loved me." "That's when you stopped leaving the house, yeah?" "And you built this room to punish fucking pedophiles like your dad." "Ah, I saw some twisted fucking shit, but this... you must be really proud of yourself." "No, I would've stopped, but they didn't show me they were sorry!" "How would they do that?" "Buy you flowers?" "Dear Anna, so sorry to let you down." " Yours truly, your stand-in dad." " Stop." "I'm so pleased I got to join you in your beautiful basement so we could help you erase the feeling" " of Daddy between your legs." " Stop." "Your brother was a sick fuck!" "He got his rocks off killing your dad, and he wanted to relive the moment" " over and over again." " That's not true." "Little crazy sister, little Anna, too scared to leave, too dumb..." " Shut the fuck up!" "Just stop!" " No!" "I'm sorry, Dan." "Sorry to mess with your girl." "Dan." "Hmm?" "Come to the mirror." "What do you want?" " I want him to pay." " Oh." "Okay, he's dead, Anna." "Okay?" "He's been dead for a long time." "No." "Him." " Do it." " Do what now?" "I'll let you go." " No." " Please?" " I'm not like them." " Just do it!" "Now dammit, Dan!" "This is how?" "This is how they show you they're sorry?" "So much regret, so much remorse, that they just... bang." "They were supposed to take responsibility for what they did!" "Just like you." "Don't you feel sorry for what you did?" "Big brothers are supposed to protect their younger siblings, which is more than you did for Vance." " Stop talking about him." " You know it's your fault!" " Shut your mouth." " You knew he looked up to you." "Do you wonder if things would've turned out differently if only..." "I know what you're trying to do." "It doesn't change the truth." "I could let you go right now... and there's nowhere you could go to get away from what you did." "I'm sorry!" "Good." "That's good." "Now... now show me." "Show me you're sorry." "Show me." "You think I'm that weak?" "I'd live a thousand years with this on my shoulders before I pull this trigger." "You will... eventually." "One bullet for one man." "No!" "What are you doing?" "I found my way out." "You killed Vance, you killed Perry..." "Fuck." "But you're still alive, Dan." "That doesn't mean anything!" "Ah, let's see." "Please." "No, no!" "Please stop!" "Please don't hurt him." "Fuck." "Come on." "Alright, brother, come on." "No." "Fucking... burn this house down." "Burn his fucking memories." "Burn his fucking fucked-up family." " I let you go." " Uh, yeah, guess that was a mistake." " This is what you wanted, isn't it?" " It was." "Now I just wanna see you burn." "Fuck!" "Fuck!" "Bitch." "Huh?" "Come here." "Come here." "Come on." "I've got an idea." "No!" "Don't!" "No!" "Don't!" "One last walk down memory lane." "Hold still!" "I'll give it to you just like Daddy did, just like Papa." "Be a good little girl." "It'll be over soon." "Hold still, Daddy's little girl." "Little angel." "Yeah, that's it, just lie there, you broken little bitch." "Hey!" "Stop!" "Stop, stop, stop, stop!" "Stop!" "Stop!" "This won't bring Vance back!" "No more killing." "I forgive you."

"No, man, I'm just saying'" " I'm sayin' if-if you own the beach property, right... do you own, like, the sand and the water?" "Nobody owns the water." "God owns-It's God's water." "What if someone walks onto your beach, right?" "Let's say if you do own it." "No, man, you don't own the beach." " What you own is sand on the beach, man." " Here." "Here, man." "What if there's a naked girl on the beach?" "That girl's not yours." "You don't own the girl." "What if she breaks her foot on your property?" "She could sue me." "Sue me!" "Sue me!" " Oh, shit!" "Oh, shit!" " Holy shit!" "Ditch it, man!" "Ditch it!" " Dude, can you eat it?" " The whole bag?" "Fuck it!" "Hey, Mike, um, while you're at it?" " Those are 'shrooms, dude!" " Come on, man, just eat it!" "Mike, uh..." " I hate to ask, but, uh... for the team?" " I can't eat that!" " No!" "Throw it out the window!" " Okay!" "Okay!" "Okay!" "All right, I'm doin' a drop." " I'm goin' for a drop." " Just opening the window." " It's gone." "It's gone." " We're cool." "It's cool." "Fuck!" "Fuck!" "Fuck!" " All right, all right." "Windows down!" "Windows down!" "Windows down!" "Put the windows down!" "All right, we're cool." "We're cool." "God, did you see that?" "It must have been, like, a double homicide or something fuckin' cool." " We was freaking' out for nothing." " Man, I almost had a heart attack." "Mike, you didn't eat both those bags, did you?" "Come and get it." "You must have eaten, like, a hundred bucks worth of pot..." " and, like, 30 bucks worth of shrooms, man." " Who's the man?" "So, I'm gonna-I'm gonna need 130 buck, you know... whenever you get a chance." " Fuck, man." " That-That's not really cool, man." "Is that the same car, man?" " D-Do I look high?" " Yeah." "Here they- Here they come." " Lick on it." "Just lick it or something'." " Be cool, be cool." "License and registration." "Uh, Officer, I know that" "License and registration, please." "The regis" " You know how fast you were goin'?" " What?" " How fast you were goin'?" " Uh, 65?" " Sixty-three." " Officer, isn't-isn't the speed limit 65?" "Yeah, it is." " Where you boys headed?" " Canada." "C-Canada." "We're goin' over the border to Canada..." " for some French fries and gravy, sir." " Poutine." "Canada, huh?" "Almost made it." " Are you okay?" " Yeah, sure." " Yes, sir?" " Yes, sir." " Now, did you say, "Yes, sir"?" " I think he said, "Yeah, sure."" " What'd you say, man?" " Well, I said, "Yeah, sure"... but what-literally, what I said was, "Yeah, sure, sir."" " So you are okay then?" " Yes, sir." " You smell something', Rabbit?" " Fear." "Now hand over that registration." "Yes, sir." "My mother's gonna kill me." "Holy shit." "This is-This is-This is- Don't look." "Don't look." " Oh, my God." " I don't get it, man." "Am I fucked up or is this fucked up, man?" "This shit is fuckin' crazy." "Shit, man." "I was just about to pull out my nine... and put a cap in that pig's ass." "Oh, fuck!" "Oh, my God!" "Shit!" "Fuck!" "Pull the vehicle over!" " I'm-I'm already pulled over, man!" " Pull over farther, man!" "I can't pull over-Sir, I'm already pulled over!" "He's already pulled over!" "He can't pull over any farther!" "License and registration, please." " But I-I just gave you it, Officer." " License and registration." "You know how fast you were goin'?" " Uh, sixty-five?" " Sixty-three." "I'm freaking' out, man." "You are freaking' out, man." "You want to know why I pulled you over?" " Littering." " Officer, that-that's not ours." " Candy bars!" " Littering and-Littering and" " And, uh" " Littering and" "Littering and, uh-Littering and, uh" "Littering and, uh" "Littering and smoking the reefer." "Now to teach you boys a lesson, Officer Rabbit and I are gonna stand here..." " while you three smoke the whole bag." " Please, no." " Please, yes" " Fuckin' pig!" "Mother of God." "Whoo!" "Radio, we're in high-speed pursuit of a white Miata heading' southbound on Route 294." "Unit 91, come in, 91." "Unit 91, come in, 91." "What are you doing out there, 91?" "Quit counting your pubes." "We got a hell-raiser in a white Miata." "Ninety-one, are you there?" "Ninety-one?" "Ninety-one, are you there?" "Hey, good-looking'." "You catch any speeders today?" " Whoo!" " What the fuck!" "Let's go, 91." "Rabbit, get that gun out!" "Aw, Mac, you fucker!" "Greetings." " You guys are too slow." " You killed my dummy." "Mac, now I'm gonna pay you." "But I shouldn't, cause I knew it was you the whole time." "Thorny, don't lie in front of the rookie." "It sets a bad example." " Foster, where are your shoes?" " What, are you the shoe police now?" "I am, and you owe me 20 laps around the bar." "Let's go." " Your black magic only works on the rookie." " That's brown magic." " Pay up." " When do I get to do that?" "You'll get your chance, Rook." "Shots?" " Yeah." " That's a lot of booze." " Uh-huh." "Uh-huh." " I'm impressed." "Jesus!" "Sorry, boys, you're on duty." " On your tab, Officer Womack?" " Rookie, pay the lady." " Pay her." " Unit 23." "Come in, 23." "Unit 23." "Come in, 23." "Do you need me out there?" "Do you need my assistance?" " Shut up, Farva." " I can be there" "Listen, we got the Miata." "We're okay." "What about those dopers you picked up?" "Do you need my assistance?" "The snozberries taste like snozberries." " Oh, shit!" " He killed the cops!" " Get out of the car, man!" " This is a cop car!" " Hello." " You boys like Mexico?" "Yeeeee-hoooooo!" "One, two, three, do it!" "Oh, go, girlfriend." "I'm your mother." "Come on, Thorny." "You're losing to the rookie." "It's embarrassing." "Come on, Rabbit." "You can do it." "Oh, Rabbit, he's killing you." "I got Thorny in front by a lot." "What's the matter, your mama didn't teach you how to chug?" "Come on, Thorn." "Come on, Thorn." "Goddamn it." "I am all that is man." " Every time." " Finish it up." "See, there you have it." "You're doing it all wrong." "Open your throat, relax the jaw." "Don't forget to cup the balls." "You're never gonna win... with those thin little bird lips you got there." "This guy's got these big old powerful lips." "Am I correct, Thorn?" "So much of my authority is derived from the power right here." "Hey, guys." "Wow." " Uh, do you have any more syrup?" " Sorry, Urs." "Why couldn't they chug ketchup?" "It's a good thing you didn't order hash browns." "I mean, if they had been chugging the catsup." "You get the score of that Red Sox game last night?" " I turned it off just after" " Ah, waiter." "There you are." "I will have the enchilada platter with two tacos and no guacamole." " Smy?" " Yeah, Chief, I'll take a chinchilla." "I don't get it." "Tacos?" "They think I'm Mexican." "You're not Mexican?" "Another highway cop?" "What, are you guys multiplying?" "Yeah, if they can figure which hole to stick it in." "Ah, what the fuck?" " Hey, I saw that!" " Sit down, Rando." "That's it!" "Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!" "All right, all right!" " Cut it out, you turkeys!" " He fuckin' started it!" "I'm sorry, Bruce." "These boys get that syrup in them... they get a little antsy in their pantsy." "You just can't keep them under control." "You should keep these dogs on a leash, John." "Let's go." "A-number one top gun cadets" "In the name of justice John Q. Public can trust us" "Hail to thee dear old Paroon" " Hail to thee!" " Hail to thee!" " Hail to thee!" " Hey, all right!" "Hey, what's up, bone diddlies?" "Did I miss the song?" "Sing it again, rookie bitch." "Farva." " Forgot the coffee." " My bad, Cap." "All right, all right." "Let's get started." "I got the latest shit list, gentlemen." "It's down to Flagstone, Deer Lick and us." "And if we keep up these low numbers, you can bet your sweet butts... we're gonna get the big, ugly ax." " Who'll bust heads on the highway?" " The goddamn local cops!" "And you better believe that Grady and his goons... have got a copy of this list, so we need to step it up." "Who wants cream?" "Nobody?" "Okay, no cream." "Foster, how many tickets did you issue last week?" "Uh, I don't have my figures here in front of me." "Three." " I can't make 'em speed." " Try hiding'." " And grow a goddamn moustache, why don't ya?" " I haven't shaved in two weeks." " I'm growin' mine." " Oh, you're growin' yours, are ya?" "I'll tell you when it's time to grow a moustache." "Coffee's served!" "Oh, no!" "That's Rabbit's." "That's Rabbit's." " I get it." "It's Rabbit's." " Oh, look, a bar of soap." "Oh, shit!" "I got you good, you fucker!" " Awesome prank, Farva." " Better than the crap you pull, Mac." " Look, fellas..." " Bite it, Rook." "Make him look like a dick." "every Thursday night I walk into the Lodge to play Hearts... and they always have my Old-Fashioned just waiting there." " I like that." " Bite it." "Bite" "Oh, hell!" "Give me the goddamn soap!" "We got 50 miles of highway." "That stretch of highway is ours." "I'll be damned if I'll let Grady and those buttheads get their hands on it!" "Thorny, you're the ranking officer here." "Let's do your jobs and keep this place open, huh?" "Let's do it." "Farva!" "Your suspension continues." "Hit the radio." "Oh, yes." "Oh." "Oh, local Smokeys on our turf." "All right, hit it." "See, that's what O'Hagan was talking about." "Hi." "You guys forget what color your car is?" " Bye-bye." " Later, dude." "All right, how about "Cat Game"?" " Cat Game?" "What's, uh, what's the record?" " Thorny did six..." " but I think you can do ten." " Ten?" "Starting right meow?" " Uh, sorry about that." " All right, meow... hand over your license and registration." " Your registration?" "Hurry up meow." " Oh." "Sorry." "There something' funny here, boy?" "No, no, no." "Well, then, why you laughing, Mr. Larry Johnson?" " All right meow, where were we?" " Are you saying "meow"?" "Am I saying "meow"?" " I-I-I thought" " Don't think, boy." "Meow, do you know how fast you were going?" "Meow, what is so damn funny?" "I could have sworn you said "meow."" "Do I look like a cat to you, boy?" "Am I jumping around all nimbly-bimbly from tree to tree?" " No." "No." " Am I drinking' milk from a saucer?" " No." " Do you see me eatin' mice?" "Now you stop laughin' right meow." "Yes, sir." "Meow, I'm gonna have to give you a ticket on this one." " But" " No "buts" meow." "That's the law." "It's not so funny meow, is it?" "Meow!" "Thanks for washing my car, Rook." " You know what this is?" " A chamois cloth?" "Ha!" "Lucky guess." "I just lost a buck... to myself." " Think that's funny, do you?" " Yeah, I do." "Also heard something funny about how you got suspended." "Something about a school bus full of kids?" "Oh, you heard that, did ya?" "Let me tell you another funny story, New Jack." "Back in '74... the great Charlie Rich was named Country Musician of the Year." "Then in '75, he had to hand the award off to the new one." "And you know who that was?" "Mr. "Sunshine on My Goddamn Shoulders," John Denver." " Really?" " Yeah." "Can you believe it?" " Wow!" " Replaced by John Fuckin' Denver." " Amazing." " Yeah." "Well, I'll be damaged if Mr. Rich didn't pull out his cigarette lighter... and light that award on fire in front of everyone." "Do you get it?" "So you're saying you'll set my Country Music Award on fire?" "I'm saying when my suspension's up, you better watch your ass." "Or you'll light my ass on fire?" "You wanna go?" "You smell pretty - You wanna take one?" "Make your first move." "Hey!" "I hate to break up the honky convention, but we got a 10-92." " You wanna take this one, Rod?" " Hell, yeah!" "I bet you do" "Nice wax job, Rook." " Thank you, sir." " You" "What the hell is this?" "We got local pigs runnin' around?" "How'd the locals beat us here?" "We're, like, ten miles out." " Look at this chump." " Oh, Mr. Tough Guy here." "Take a walk, buddy, take a walk." "Holy shit!" "It's a cool Winnebago." "My Uncle Denny used to have one just like this." "Rabbit, put your game face on." "You got it, boss." " Hey, what the fuck?" " Oh-oh!" "Oh, yes." " Oh, man!" "What happened here?" " Take a walk, sonny." " This investigation is already under control." " Well, now it is." " Hey!" " Don't touch the crime scene, rodent!" "Rabbit." "Hey, look at that." "Johnny Chimpo." " Quit slappin' me." " Would you stop touching my rookie, Grady?" "Hey, I'll touch you." "This is the Spurbury Police." "Put your hands up and come outta there!" "Get the fuck out of here!" " Glamour pet." "No dice." "Get your tape." " Okay." "Let's cruise." " Sounds like y'all have a hog problem." " Oh, watch it, Mac." "Mac, I'm serious." "Be careful, Mac." "He's angry." " He's angry?" "Well, hello." " Hey, mark it off." " Smy, you mark it off." " Back it up, Grady." "I'm serious." "What's the point?" "Didn't you guys get shut down already?" "Oh, yeah, that's next week." "Your bust." "You know there's a dead chick in there?" "Move it, Ramashit!" " Back it up Grady!" " Fight, fight, fight!" " My arm!" " Mac!" "Get off of me!" "Get off!" "I'll give you the fat guy for Foster and, uh... how about that stupid guy for Rabbit?" "Well, you're gonna have to be more specific." "They're both kinda fat and stupid." "Get these damn handcuffs off now, Ramathorn!" " Cut him loose." " Go ahead, Smy." "You want to tell me what bug crawled up your big ass, Grady?" "Yeah, I will tell you." "This is our crime scene." "We are talkin' it." " It's highway." "It's our jurisdiction." " No." "No." "This highway is closed Ramathorn." "This is our jurisdiction." "Aw, fuck it." "You deal with the hog." "Hey, Chief." "What in hell's gotten into you guys?" "I told you to be good." "I told you this was a bad time." "But you go ahead and get into a battle royale with the locals at a crime scene." " But they started that fight." " Of course they started the fight." "Now they've taken a jurisdictional grievance against us." "They want us to blow it." "I mean, a murder on the highway... and you give them the investigation." "Christ!" "We look like a bunch of pussies." "All right, come on out, Rabbit." "I guess I just go take a shower then, huh?" "Strike three!" "You're out of there!" "All right, good cut, Ritchie." "Good cut." "Come on." "Next batter!" "Batter up!" "Next batter!" "Let's go." "But, Thorn, if they do shut you down... maybe you could stick around here?" "I don't know, get a different job?" "You can always come work in my shop." "Yeah, retired cop goes to work for his hippie girlfriend in her head shop." "Too sitcom." "Okay." "You better pay attention, Coach." "Our son's up." "All right, Arlo." "Watch the ball." "Get a hit." "You got it." " Let's do it." " All right, Arlo." "Whoa!" " Hey, you gotta keep on your toes." " Do something' about that, ref." "Sorry-ass local cops." "You think you have a nice relationship with someone... based on professional courtesy and mutual boredom." "The next thing you know, they're trying to take you out." "What?" "What?" "I don't wanna get transferred." "And have to be a rookie again with a bunch of random dudes." " Don't worry about it." "If it happens, we'll, uh, we'll all just stay here, open up a roller disco." "Throw him the heat." "Bring it on." "Uh, anybody want a corn dog?" "See if they got any chocolate bananas." "Foster?" "Hey, Charlie's Angel." "Hey, congratulations." "You're the one millionth person to say that to me." " Oh." "What do I win?" " Um..." "There you go." "Hope I don't get brain freeze." "I'm not sure you've got the required equipment." "So, listen, I, um, had a really good time at that Winnebago fight." "Maybe, uh, I don't know, we could do it again sometime." "All right, all right." "Fair is fair." "You can slug me back if you want to." " Really?" "Okay." " Yeah." "Hold my snow cone." " Okay." " Heads up!" "Hey, what happened over there?" "What?" "Wh-Why?" "How about a little pep?" "From those guys over there." "Assholes." "You want to move that, buddy." "Now!" "So, about my field time." "Yeah, yeah." "I've been thinkin' a lot about that." "I think I might be able to talk to Grady for you." " Pink stick, eat it or lose it." " Hey, shut your pie hole, buddy." "I mean, because I'm ready to go out on patrol." "I'm goin' nuts being on the radio all the time." "I'd like to get some field work." "Yeah?" "Why don't you take your radio and go stand in a field." "Move that gigantic cotton candy!" "Goddamn it!" "How's the view from sugar heaven, bitch?" "Hi." "I'm looking for Chief Grady." "I have some files for him." "Grady's not here." "I'll take the file." "It's kind of important." "How about Officer Rando?" "Nope." "What do you need?" "I'm the only one here?" "There are no male officers around?" "Just give me the file." "What's this?" "So you originally from Vermont or, uh, or what?" "You know, you've got a lot of courage, walking' into the lion's den." " Oh, I got brass buns." " You should join the band." "What are your cells, eight by eight?" "Ours are nine by nine." "No big deal." "Listen, you seem like a really nice guy, but I just don't date cops." "I'm not much of a cop, really." "More like a civilian trapped in a cop's body." "Oh." "Well, I hear you can get an operation for that." "But then, I guess you'd miss out on all those wacky things you highway guys do." "Yeah, those stories about us are mostly lies, really." "Except for the one about how we pulled over AC/DC's bus... and then they flew us down to Jamaica to party with them; that one's true." " But, yeah, other than that, it's pretty boring out there." "Yeah, well, I wouldn't know." "All right, it's probably time for you to get out of here." " I don't want to get fired too." " Oh, I'm not getting fired." "I'm gettin' shut down." "That's a big difference." " In our cells, the door is over here." " Right." "A couple of hyenas." "Well, you know, they are speeding." " Come in, Radio." " Don't call me Radio, Unit 91." "Then don't call me Unit 91, Radio." " Are you done?" " Yeah, okay, Radio." "We got a suspicious vehicle." "White Caprice, Vermont plates." "Tijuana-Gringo-Oner-Fiver-Zero." " Roger." "Checking." " Thank you, Radio." "Unit 91, that license plate belongs to a local Spurbury police vehicle." "It does?" "Oh, my God!" " Very funny, 91." " Thank you, Radio." "Whoa!" "Looks like that truck's planning on skipping the weigh-in." "Yeah, well, you don't weigh in, you don't wrestle." "Whoa!" "What's this jack-off doin', trying to pull him over?" "There's no fuckin' way that is happenin'." " What the hell's he doin'?" " I got something'." "Yeah." "That's right, doofus." "Move it along." "You, uh, wanna do "Repeat"?" "Do you wanna do "Repeat"?" "No." "I've been thinking a lot about what the captain said." " I'd like to play it straight this time, okay?" " Okay." " For O'Hagan." " For O'Hagan." "Good morning." "Would you mind stepping down from there with your license and registration?" " Sure." "I was just" " Good morning." "Would you mind stepping down from there with your license and registration?" " Yeah." "No problem." " Excuse me one second." "No." "Excuse me one second." "No." "Did, uh, I do something wrong, officers... because I know I wasn't speeding." " Why didn't you weigh in?" " Yeah, why didn't you weigh in?" "Did I miss that weigh station?" "They got me runnin' so many miles..." "I just must have dazed out and well" "I'll pull into the next one and get weighed, okay?" "What are you pulling back there?" "Well, uh, mostly just soap, I think." "Why don't we take a look?" "Listen, Officers, I'm on a really tight schedule." "I really need to" "Let's go, Mr. Galilkanolkus." "Well, you heard him." "Let's go, Mr..." "Mr. Galonulkum." "Hop on up." "Okay-silly-dilly-dokey-o." "I'm an idiot." "Yeah, that's true." "Sorry about the light there." "I have a flashlight in the cab." " Hey!" "Mr. Galilkanolkus!" " Whoa!" "Mr. Galikanokus!" " We should have seen that comin'." " We should have seen that comin'." " It is time to stop now, Mac." " It is... time to stop now, Mac?" "And that was the second time I got crabs." " Awesome." " Afternoon." " Hey." " Hey." "It stinks like sex in here." "What happened?" "We got a little distracted by somebody doin' the "Repeater."" " Huh." "That'll happen." " That will happen." "Well, you did it this time." "Fishin' your car out of Lake Leblanc right now." "Oh, man." "Nah, we just parked it across the street." "All right, listen." "Next time this kind of thing happens..." "I want you to stop, take a deep breath..." " And pull your heads out of each other's asses, would ya?" " Language." "It's easy for you to say." "He's got a tiny little head." "Yeah." "What's this guy moving'?" "Soap, I think." "Reefer." "Whoo-hoo!" "That's one stinky pyramid." "We should've built a stinky igloo and climb in." " That's a lot of pot." " Thinkin' back to your tour days with the Dead, Rabbit?" " Better lock this shit up, huh, buddy?" " What are you talkin' about?" "Enhance." "Enhance." "Enhance." "Just print the damn thing!" "All right, what do we know about this Galilkanolkus guy?" "It's a fake name, fake license." " Bunty Soap?" " Fake soap company." " What, plastic fake?" "Decorative fake?" "What?" " No, like they don't exist." "So, we got 150 kilos of marijuana and no arrests." "We got nothin'." "I got a theory, Cap." "These, uh, bales of pot, they have that red Johnny Chimpo sticker on them." "And that dead woman in the Winnebago had the same logo tattooed on her back." "See, a lot of drug dealers use stickers to mark their products." "Like a brand name." "See!" "Where'd you learn that, Cheech?" "Drug school?" "Shut up, Farva." "Did that bag you pulled off those college kids have that sticker?" "Um..." "I don't believe it did." " Was there any marijuana on that Winnebago?" " Nope." "A monkey tattoo." "Sounds kinda flimsy." "What's the significance of this John Chimpo fella?" " Uh, well, you know those really cheap Japanese cartoons?" "No?" "This is basically a cheaper Afghani knockoff." "It's this monkey that basically travels around the world... uh, doing nasty things." "His butler tries to keep him in line, but, uh- No." "It's really funny, Cap." "It's Afghanistanimation." "The monkey has a butler?" "Great." " Is that what they do in Arabia, Thorny?" " How the hell should I know?" " All right." "Somebody get me a VTR copy of this thing." "I'll talk to Grady, see if he'll let us take a look at the Winnebago." "All right." "You ready for the photo shoot?" "Okay, fellas, let's take it." " Pull down your pants." " Shut up, Farva, you idiot." "Come on, do it." " John." "I'm not interrupting, am I?" " Mayor Timber!" " No." "Come in, come in." " Good work, gentlemen, all the way around." " Could I get in on that?" " Sure." "Why not?" " Excuse me." "Good work." "Good work, Officer." " Hey." "You're gonna have a hard time shutting us down now, right, Mr. Mayor?" "We got a murder one day, a drug bust the next." "I'm thinkin' we need as much police as we can get." "That'd be a good slogan, wouldn't it?" "Tell that to the budget committee." "I just got off the phone with Governor Jessman... and she's gonna be swinging through here on her way to Burlington." "Give me a gun, huh, to hold for the pictures." " Rabbit, run." "Gun." " And, John... as far as this brawling with the local police is concerned" "It won't happen again, Bill." "I'm onto it." "Good." "'Cause when the governor shows up, I'm gonna throw her a little party." "We're gonna let her know just how this community feels about its law enforcement." "Spread it on!" "Come on, Dad!" "Faster!" "Faster!" " So what's the deal with you and Bobbi?" " Come on, Dad!" "You guys are goin' out, but you, um, sleep with other people?" "Well, I mean, yeah." "Not really." "Kind of." "It's sort of a long story, all right?" "Well-Hey, Arlo, does Mom ever have any friends over?" " Any older boys?" " Can't we turn the siren on?" "In a minute, all right?" "Are you listening?" "That maybe you call uncle?" " Like Uncle Fred?" "Uncle Fred?" "Who's Uncle Fred?" "He's this crazy bird on TV." " He's crazy." "He flies around like a pigeon." " Oh, right." "Uncle Freddy, he's great." "He's a crazy bird." "Okay." "We got one." "You wanna take this one, kid?" " What about you?" " I gotta stay with little "A."" " You're okay, right?" " Sure." " Go on." "Make mama proud." " All right." "Yeah, Farva, I got a Porsche, brown, Washington plates" " Eight-Donna-Peanut-Eunuch." " Roger." "Checking." "Kill it." "Can I please see your license and registra" "I'm sorry, Officer, for the speeding violation." "I am so used to driving on the Autobahn." "Uh-What?" "...Sean Cassidy." "Yummy, yummy." "Nicht?" " Do you know why I pulled you over?" " We were driving way too fast." " Ja." " Ja." "Officer, this is a major problem... because I cannot afford another ticket with mein Porsche." "Is there maybe something I can do for you, Or maybe my wife... could do for you to avoid this dilemma?" "Is there maybe something you would like me to do to you?" "Or maybe something you would like to do to me?" "Uh, 'cause you were doing 90 in a 65." "Perhaps some spanking or cuffing is in order." "Could you hold on a minute?" "Just a minute." "I'll be right back." " Twenty-three, that Porsche is hot." " Are you sure?" "Rabbit?" " Please, Thorn, not now." "No." " He can join too, if you like?" " Get over here." " Tickle, tickle." " Ja." " Hold on a second." "Just one second, huh?" " What?" " Farva said that car is stolen." "What?" "Stolen?" " Shit!" " Is there a problem, officers?" "Hold on!" "Come on, Thorn, I need this." "Look, kid, any other day, I'd step in here and show you how to swing." "But the car's stolen." "Goddamn it!" "You got to get over there and you got to cuff her." "Do it!" "You're a highway patrolman." "Cut it out!" "Do it." "Now turn that off and step out of the car, sir." " This is no problem?" " Put your hands on the car and spread 'em." " Ah, now some fun for both of us." " Get back in the car!" "Rabbit, get over there and cuff her." "Up against the car." "Ma'am, I hate to do this to you, but would you- your hands behind your back?" " Now things are getting kinky." "Arlo!" " I love your" " I'm on the radio." "Come in, Farva." "Arlo!" "Rabbit!" "Let's go!" "Climb up on Uncle Rabbit's lap, Arlo, okay?" "I don't think that's such a good idea, Thorn." "Uh, right." "Okay, why don't you just sit in the middle, buddy?" "Ursula, what the fuck?" "There's no T.P. in the bathroom." " What about the piece stuck to your shoe?" " What about that piece?" "Shit!" "You know, you might get ahead around here if you made the extra effort." " Do you want me to wipe your ass?" " That's not what I" "Well, around my house, my wife knows to refill the T.P." " No." "And if you were, I'd take you down a peg or two." "Hi, douche bag." "You know, if you were my wife..." "I'd massage your feet every night until you fell asleep." "Nice try." "He strangles her and puts her face in pig food?" "What an asshole." "Got any I.D. on the corpse?" "Yeah. "Jane Doe." Do you know her?" "Oh, we're working on it." "It's called routine police work." "Apparently, she had a cartoon monkey tattooed on her back." "John Chimpo, I'm told." "And those cannabis bags in our truck... those stickers had the same monkey logo." "So we think there might be some kind of connection." "Are you suggesting that a cartoon monkey is bringing drugs into our town?" " Look, I know we don't like each other." " I like you." "Come on!" "I'm looking for a little cooperation here." "John Chimpo." " Hanson, could you round up, uh, Johnny Chimpo... and, uh, Jerry Giraffe and Arty the Alligator and bring them in for a lineup." " Thanks, sweetie." " Sounds like they're having fun." "That's what happens when you start hanging out with a state trooper." "We show you the funny." "Well, where were we?" "Uh, you were laying your best rap on me and I was resisting." "But you were starting to think about it." " I told you." "I don't touch highway hog." " Baby, I'm SizzleLean." "I scratched your back, Bruce." "I scratched it good and hard." "Now, either you scratch my back or you're gonna get my size ten boot up your ass!" "Desperation is a stinky cologne, John." "Let's see." "You are an expendable line item on a state spending bill." "You have a station full of crappy cops." "I am about this far away from having a bigger budget." "And now, you come in here talking about... monkey tattoos on some drunk lady's tit like it's a goddamn drug conspiracy." "Keep your bags packed, John." "Let us handle the real police work, huh?" "Uh, John, when you do get shut down, you come back, talk to me." "I can always use a good meter maid." "Let it roll." "Come and get me, Mac." " See you later, sucker!" " Fuck!" "Can't catch the Rabbit." " Damn it!" " Out of the car!" "Out of the car, scumbag!" "Well, hello, Shirley." "Come on, Farva, man." "Same team." "Same team." "What's Thorny going to say, Rook?" " Honestly, Bobbi." "I think it's gonna happen." "We don't want to leave." "We really like this town." "I'll probably just get sent down to Brattleboro." "It's a nice town." "I don't think it's a healthy time for him to move." "He's got a lot of real good friends here." "Who?" "That creepy kid with the lisp?" "Hey." "Stop jumping on the bed." "Look, I don't want to go without you." " Then you should stay here." " But I can't if they transfer me." "Hey, stop jumping on the bed." "Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker." "Hey, honey, it's almost Mitternacht' huh?" "We really should be getting back to the jail." " You don't want us turning into pumpkins." " I don't want to go yet" "Thorn, can't they just stay a little longer?" "All right." "Who wants a mustache ride?" " I want one." "I want one!" " I do!" "I do!" "I do!" "Spurbury Police." "Oh, thank the Lord." "Thank the Lord." "It's terrible." "Oh, there's a disgusting pervert flashing people." "Ma'am, I need you to calm down." "I can't calm down!" "You calm down!" "Oh, my God!" " Ma'am, tell me your location." " He's right in front of the building... on 323, uh, Karuna Street." " That's this address, ma'am." " Oh, well, then, maybe you can see him." "He's right in front of the building." "Go look." "I'll hold." "Whoo-aaah!" "Did you see him?" "Oh, he's disgusting." " He certainly is, ma'am." " Oh, I think he's going to the window again." "Whoo-ooo-ooo!" "Oh, the humanity!" "He's so bulgy." "He's like a moose." "Oh, no!" "I think he's going back again." "Freeze, motherfucker!" "Oh, God!" "Please don't shoot me." "I-I'm naked." "Drop your coat and grab your toes." " I'm gonna show you where the wild goose goes." "Oh, this isn't happening." "I-I-I'm a police officer." "Ursula, help!" "Baby, I'm gonna butter your bread." "You don't have these at your station?" "I don't suppose you got a pair of fresh underwear I could borrow?" "I'm not sure you could fit into my panties." "You know, you can't tell anybody about this." "I already told my mom about you." "Whoa!" "Whoa!" "Whoa!" "Whoa!" " Shit!" " Baby, you rocked me." "Wow!" "What is this?" "Rabbit, you're off the road!" "Shut up, Farva!" "It's a good move, Cap." "Rabbit, you're on radio." "Farva, you're ridin' with Thorny." " Wait a minute" " What do you want me to do about it?" "My hands are tied!" "It's all over the police band!" "Rabbit, you couldn't have picked a worst time!" "I got a Q-17 request form today." "We have to inventory our equipment." "Which means our balls are this close to the band saw." "What are you sellin', Mac, hot dogs?" " There's a new billboard." " Casino le Fantastique?" "Let me guess." "You just humped the mayor's wife and burnt down City Hall." "I'll do you one better, Captain." "So I'm walking' down by the local police station, minding my own business." "But there's something funny in the air." "I feel like I just gotta get into that Winnebago." "So after I jimmy the door, I do a quick recon." "Bullshit." "I can see there's something not right about that bed." " So I busted it in." " Bullshit." "And just sittin' there were ten huge duffel bags of these mothers." "Let me get this straight." "You went into the impound, scaled the fence... broke into the Winnebago and smashed the bed, all on a hunch?" "I'll believe that when me shit turns purple and smells like rainbow sherbet." "What?" "Do you think I just grew this weed?" "How could you know to look underneath the bed?" "It must have been my sixth- or even my seventh sense." "You know, Rabbit, a good cop doesn't really know why he does anything." " Disregard that, Rabbit." " And you didn't even think to call in your partner?" "So these local mothers have got a hundred keys of chiba and don't know it?" "Not a clue." "It's totally hidden." "And Grady's walking' around like he's hot soup." "All right, we got a chance here." "But we got to beat these guys to the punch." "Mac, you and Foster check out the truck stops... and find out what you can about Galilkanolkus and Bunty Soap." "I'll talk to Grady and play a little hardball." "Thorny, I'm talkin' a hard line." "You got to promise me no more bullshit." "Cap, you know I'm cool, but I can take no responsibility for these white devils'" "Well, you're gonna have to." "Now, Rodney, we're under a lot of pressure here." "Remember what we talked about." "If anything happens... count to ten, take some deep breaths." "Ten deep breaths." "I got it, Cap." "Foster, you're on duty." "Trust me, skipper, we'll make you proud." "You are awesome." "You are incredible." "You are a fantastic cop." "Keep goin'." "Uh, and then somebody said, I think it was O'Hagan, said, um..." " "Foster, you deserve a promotion."" " I think you get a star." "Foster?" "Wait." "I don't know if this is gonna work." " This steering wheel is jabbing my ass." " Oh, right." "Okay." "In New York City, a guy could pay ten bucks to watch two cops have sex in a cage." "Yeah?" " Foster?" " Yeah?" "In our cruisers, somebody has to let you out of the back seat." "Oh, fuck it!" "Do we look like the two dumbest guys in the world to you?" "Is that why you choose to treat us with such disrespect?" "Look, all I'm sayin', man, is switch partners." "It'll be fun." " I don't think so." " Come on, mix it up a bit." "No fuckin' way." "Come on, Mac, you know you're always sayin' how funny Foster smells." "Oh, look out for Thorny, master of psychology." "Do I really smell?" "All right, assholes, quit talkin' about me." "Lock and load, Ramathorn." "Let's kick some tail." "We weren't talkin' about you, you big idiot." "Bullshit." " Truck stop, huh?" " We gotta do it." "But the captain didn't say anything about going undercover." "Do you think they're gonna tell us anything if they know we're cops?" "Get a job, man!" "Look, you're fuckin' super cop." "You should know this." " I am super." " Plus, we can't take our car... until they replace the door you, for no reason whatsoever, removed last night." "I told you it was those kids with the wrenches." "Ah, yes, those ballsy little punks who took your car door off... while you were sittin' in the damn thing." "I told you I was in a very deep sleep." "Yeah." "You wanna tell that to O'Hagan?" "Maybe we can borrow his car today." "Do you even know how to drive this thing?" "Shit!" "This rig sucks!" "Uh, who knew it was a stick?" "How about we, uh, pop a couple of Viagra... and issue tickets with raging, mega-huge boners?" "Only you, Farva, can make a dark man blush." " And, no, we're not doin' it." " Ah, hell." "Hey, I came up with a great name for our car." "Oh, yeah?" "Get this." "You're Arcot Ramathorn-Ram- and I'm Rod Farva-Rod;" "car Ramrod." "Car Ramrod." "You get it?" "Yeah, I got it." " Rabbit, I got a Plymouth Voyager..." " Say "Car Ramrod."" " Say "Car Ramrod."" " Vermont plates-Hold on." "Vermont plates-Alpha..." "God-Mustard-One-Niner-Decade-China." " Check it." " Roger, 23." " You didn't say it." "I wrote it on the paper." " Oh, I forgot." "Oh, yeah." "Come on, Ramathorn, what game are we playin'?" " What?" "No games." " Don't bullshit me." "Let's play one of those games I keep hearin' about." "You know, Mac and Foster... did that thing, you know, with the "who can say pussy the most."" "You know, actually, Mac bet Foster he couldn't say "meow" ten times." "To the driver." "I realize that doesn't sound funny as I described" "Who can say "meow" the most?" "You guys are real crazy." "Hey, look out for these guys!" "Hell, I can say "meow." I can say "moo."" "For 20 bucks, I'll call the guy a chicken-fucker." "Easy, Rod." "Easy, Rod." "Easy, Rod." "Easy, Rod." "License and registration..." "chicken-fucker!" "Brawwk!" " Bruce?" "John O'Hagan." " John!" "I'm glad you called." "Listen." "I have Bobby the Baboon in lockup... and he says that for twenty bananas he'll provide evidence..." "Johnny Chimpo is the pimp in charge of the Cartoon Network whorehouse'" "Look, I'm done dickin' around." "We got new evidence on your murder." "Who?" "Galilkanolkus?" "You know where he is?" "No, we don't know where he is, but" "Then I don't see how you can possibly help us, then." "Okay." "This is my last offer." "Either you let us in on this investigation... or I'm gonna embarrass you personally." "Oh, how embarrassed?" "Like, naked in a dream embarrassed?" "No, No, embarrassed like back in '77, when you got caught fuckin' your cousin embarrassed." "She's not my cousin" "Welcome to Dimpus." "Can I take your order?" "Give me a, uh, double bacon cheeseburger." "Double baco cheeseburger." "It's for a cop." " Roger." " What the hell's that all about?" " He gonna spit in it now?" " No, I was just tellin' him that so he makes it good." "Don't spit in that cop's burger." " Yeah." "Thanks." " Roger." "Holding the spit." "Give me a, uh, pie." "Apple." "Do you want me to hold the spit?" "Just kidding, Officer..." "Farva." "So, do you want to "Dimpisize" your meal for a quarter more?" "Want me to "punchisize" your face for free?" "Some male figure?" "I'm his dad." "And stop with the whole transfer thing." "Oh, Christ." "You know what?" "I gotta go." "Let's talk about this later, okay?" "Okay." "Bye." " Now don't give me any lip.-It's just a quarter, and look how much more you get." " I said no!" " It's just 25 cents." " Hey, listen, guy." "He doesn't want it." " I can handle this, Ramathorn." " I don't want it!" " Right." "Uh, beverage?" "Gimme a, uh, liter of cola." " A what?" " A liter of cola!" ""Leederacola." Do we make leederacola?" "Will you just order a large, Farva?" "I don't want a large Farva." "I want a goddamn liter of cola!" " I don't know what that is!" " Liter is French... for "give me some fuckin' cola before I break both fuckin' lips."" "All right, all right." "Relax!" " That look like spit to you?" " Yeah." "Ah, fuck it." "I feel like a real cop again." "Well, I wouldn't get used to it, 'cause you know it's not gonna last." " Bullshit." "I'm not goin' anywhere." " All right, buddy." "We're about to get shut down anyway." "Oh, yeah?" "That's a lot of "Dimp."" " What do you do if you get transferred?" " I don't know." "Bobbi doesn't want to leave, and..." "I don't want to leave her and Arlo, so" "Yeah, I don't know what the hell I'm gonna do." "Who gives a shit?" "I'm about to win ten million bucks anyway, right?" "Are ya?" "What are you going to do with that ten million bucks?" "And you can't say, "Buy the Cleveland Cavaliers."" " I'd buy a ten-million-dollar car." " Ah, good investment." " But I'd pull you over." " Bullshit." "You could never catch me." " If you did, I'd activate my car's wings, and fly away." "I got a good feelin' about this." "Damn it, you burger punk!" "You son of a bitch!" "Yeah, Burger Boy!" "All right, all right, all right." "Cut it out, you guys." "Knock it off." "Clear out of here." "All of you." "I was hittin' his ass so hard with that hose." "I'm sorry about the delousing, Rod." "Standard procedure." " It's powdered sugar." " The lice hate the sugar." " Listen, Rod" " It's delicious." "Uh, good." "Good." "Say, Rod, what are your plans after the shutdown?" "We're not gettin' shut down, Grady." "We're drug busters." "Maybe they're drug busters, but you're dispatch." " Nuh-uh." "I'm back on the road, now." " Until this little incident." "Listen, Rod." "This whole murder thing, we've been tryin' real hard to break it open... but O'Hagan just will not cooperate with the evidence." "Now I've spoken to the governor myself." "She is gonna shut your station down, son." "It's gonna happen." "Now, I'm gonna have a bigger budget then, and I could really use... a good local officer like yourself." " Could I go now?" " You could have your own car." "Work on exciting cases." "Hey, we could even chase drug dealers together." "Now, the thing is, Rod..." "I really need to know about your side of the investigation." "O'Hagan's making all kinds of threats, and" "Can we make a deal?" "I'm all highway." "Let him loose." "Sorry about that, bro." "Hey, Charlie's Angel." " What's up?" " Guys." "Hey." "Well, we got about, uh, twenty desk lamps." " Farva went schizoid." " That's good." " How did the undercover thing go?" " Well, not so good." " Turns out, this guy can't drive a semi." " Yeah." "You guys watch that Johnny Chimpo thing?" " Funny, but nothin' there." " Maybe you missed something." "Trust me, bro." "There's nothing there." "Maybe we should take another look." "That's it, you're off the road." "Never again." "Sir, no." " It was not my fault." " Neither was the goddamn school bus." "You know, there was a time we'd take a guy like you out back and beat you with a hose." " Now you got your goddamn unions." " Captain, you know I'm not a pro-union guy." " And you're banned from Dimpus Burger." " Damn it!" "Get some rubber gloves." "From now on, you're my cleaning lady." "Beat it!" "Well, the butler is basically saying to Johannes Chimpo..." ""Don't let the Great Satan tempt you with the Western culture." "You must remain true to the Taliban warlord."" "Cool beans." "So, um, Galilkanolkus is not the butler?" "Well, possibly." "But this is, uh, quite brilliant, really." "And so, Captain, you think there might be some connection with the smugglers?" "Rabbit, get this meatball out of here." "You got it, Captain." "Come on, meatball." "We should probably do that." "Back in the cage with your beautiful wife, huh?" " What did you find out at the weigh station?" " My cruiser weighs 16,000 kg." "I just got off the phone with Tom McCardle from the budget committee." " This thing with Farva screwed our pooch." " What?" "They can't lump us in with that fuckin' Martian." " We're all in the same boat." " But our shenanigans are cheeky and fun." "Yeah." "His shenanigans are cruel and tragic." "Which makes them not shenanigans at all, really." "Evil shenanigans." "I swear to God I'll pistol-whip the next guy that says, "shenanigans."" "Hey, Farva!" "What's the name of that restaurant you like, with all the goofy shit on the walls..." " and the mozzarella sticks?" " You mean Shenanigans?" " No!" "Oh!" " You're talking about Shenanigans, right?" "Put those away!" "Hey, Rabbit." "Yeah, I know." ""You got beautiful, big brown lips."" "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah." "Have your fun, boys." "Have your fun." "'Cause I'm gonna start looking for a new job." "Hey!" "Urs!" "Ha!" " Hi." " Hi." "Sorry I'm late." "The mayor came down today." "Ah, bilker!" "I'm an idiot." "Boy, you guys just keep shooting yourselves in the foot." " Heard you got to see Farva naked." " Yeah, it was hard to miss." "So, Grady thinks he's got you guys by the balls." "Yeah." "How do you feel about long-distance relationships?" "Think I'm getting sent to Deer Lick." "Well, I've been thinking about this." "I think I might have an idea." "The governor comes to town on Saturday for that big thing, right?" "She's gonna make a big speech about drugs and law enforcement..." " and all of that because of your bust." " She's gonna shut us down." "No!" "Not if you give her more." "Get the reefer out of the Winnebago and give it to her during the party." " Make a big show of it." " With all that media there, she would love us for it." " No way she'll shut you down." " That reefer's locked in the Winnebago... which is locked in your impound, which is guarded by assholes." "All right." "Here's what I'll need." "Five ski masks, a case of smoke bombs-the good ones and banana peels, lots of banana" " Foster?" " How about if I just help you get in?" " You would do that for me?" "Yeah." "What the hell." "We'll work together." "Like Cagney and Lacey." "Yeah." "Well, Cagney and Lacey were women." " But" " I could be Lacey." "Mac-o!" " So that's it, huh?" " C.C.S. Rockman Bulletproofing is the tops!" "Same guys who make our flak jackets." "Now, Rabbit, a good cop does what... before using his equipment in the field?" " Uh, they test it?" " They test it." "Exactly." "How are you shootin' today, Thorn?" " Dead on all morning." " How about that little fella?" "Oh, that little guy?" "I wouldn't worry about that little guy." "Good enough for me." "You're my man, now." "I don't get it." "How are we going to get into the local impound?" "There are gonna be cops there." "Wa-hoo!" "Most of the local cops will probably already be at the banquet." "They'll leave, like, one or two of the dumbest guys at the station." " How you feelin' there Mac?" "" " Good enough to fuck your mother!" "So, what we have to do is distract whoever they leave there." "Hey, Mac!" "You still have that Halloween costume?" "Oh, hell, yeah." "You don't throw out" "Wa-hoo-hoo!" "Damn, that's good!" "So, if we can get ten minutes, you and I can get into the impound... get the reefer, and get it to the governor before she leaves?" " Nice and easy." " I like it." " You're up." " Me?" " Now, don't get puke on it." " Does it hurt?" "You're gonna feel a little pinch." "Lookin' good, Rabbit!" "Now don't move!" " Hang on, buddy." " Hey, Cap!" " Hey, Captain." " Bulletproof cup, huh?" "I invented this gag, Rabbit." " Only in my day, the rookie got naked." " Whoa, whoa, whoa!" "And we also used blanks." "You're a sick motherfucker, Mac." "Thanks, Chief." "All right, Thorny." "Why'd you call me up here?" "Good to know you're still battin' for us with the budget committee, Mayor." "Well, I don't want to mince words, John, but it doesn't look too good." "Maybe not to the untrained eye." "But if I was a betting' man, I'd put money on us changing' the governor's mind tonight." "Well, you might want to strap on your ass-kissing boots and start right now." " I think she's your only hope." " Hello." "What is this thing again?" "Humane Society?" " Uh, it's a drug bust." " Cocaine?" " Hello." " Uh, marijuana." "Then why are we here?" "Oh, I think we're pretty well covered, Mr. Mayor." "I think she's got a lot of decisions to make." " I don't envy her." " Oh, I do." "I'll be lucky to have a figure like that when I'm her age." "Yeah." "That's a good one." "We're sending someone down, don't worry." "Okay." "Thanks." "You bet." " No, no, no, no." "We'll bring the guns." " We're on it." "We're on it." "We got it." "All right, that's like twenty calls." "I'll tell you what." "I'll go down there and check it out." " What about me?" " Burton, somebody's got to stay here." "All right, fuck it." "Shit!" "Maybe this is the key." "I mean, no offense, bro, but... when did you become a cop?" "None taken, Ramathorn." "None taken." " Really." "How'd you know the key was there?" " A gentleman never asks." "A lady never tells." "Wonder how Rabbit's doin'?" "Oh, yeah!" " Yeah!" "Yeah!" " What does that look like to you?" "Is the bear" " Is the guy" " Oh, yeah." "Yeah!" "Seems more of a game warden thing to me." " Well, it's illegal, Burton." "I know that!" " Whoo!" "Oh!" "Oh, shit." "Look who's here." "He wasn't gonna make it." " I tried." " Glad to see you, Rodney." " Hey, how are you doin', Rowdy?" "How you think I'm doin'?" "Open bar, ain't it?" " Thought you said Bowl-a-rama." " Yeah, I tried to call you, but, um" "Yeah, right!" " Give me six Schlitzes." " No Schlitz." " Whatever's free." " Take it easy, Rod." "Open bar, dude!" "Hello down there." "Are you okay?" "Excuse me." " Bear-Bear-fucker!" " Yeah!" "Yeah!" " Do you need assistance?" " Oh!" "Oh!" "Oh, yeah." "Okay." "Let's do this." "Hey, hey, whoa!" "Whoa!" "Mayor Timber, yeah." "So I just wanted to let you know... that the governor's gonna have to leave early." "For an emergency fund-raiser." "So" "Aw, she's gonna speak in about five minutes." "And then we're gonna have to zip on out of here." " Well, thanks for the heads-up." " I'll go check on those guys." "Mac-Attack!" "Wanna go punch for punch?" "Good one!" "I did not specify." "Never shit a shitter." "Lady in blue, comin' through." "Ramathorn." "What?" "I don't know." "Two minutes?" "Yeah, yeah" "Well, I got a ticket to ride this rocket" "Whoo, sixteen ounces in my back pocket" "Well, come on, baby, won't you take a little taste" "'Cause we're about to get on into outer space" "I got a ticket to ride on that rocket" "You weren't kidding'." "That's a lot of hooch!" "Whoo-hoo Yeah, hoo-hoo" "Holy shit." "What's Grady doin' up there?" "...and of course, your own local police chief, Bruce Grady... has made yet another astonishing breakthrough... in our state's War on Drugs." "That's fine police work." "Thank you very much." "The real credit... goes to my skilled officers, who uncovered the marijuana in that Winnebago." "And, uh, we have identified the dead woman from that Winnebago... as a drug "queenpin" from Louisville, Kentucky-Lucy Garfield." "Or, as we like to call her down at the station, "The Louisville Smuggler."" "There will be no more running of marijuana... through Spurbury on my watch." "You can count on that." "Farva's number one!" "Farva's number one!" "Hey!" "You showed Grady our secret stash?" "That was our stash!" " I did not show Grady the stash!" " Those bags of grass..." " represented a-a bond of trust between us." " Foster" " Did you pick me because you could manipulate me?" "No!" "How could you even say that?" " Because you crapped on my heart!" " I what on your heart?" "What are you gettin' out of this?" "Is Grady putting' you on the road?" "No, a-are you- You're screwing him too." "Asshole." "Ursula" " Oh, Mac." " What the fuck?" "Fuckin' traitor!" "Hey, Mac!" "Did it work?" "Did it work?" "Was there ever a moment when you suspected her?" " No, why would I?" " Exactly." "Why use your head when you can be getting some cop-on-cop fucky-sucky?" "Well, did you tell her anything?" "Two cops sleeping together." "What the hell do you think they talked about?" "I don't know." "Doin' it?" "Positions and stuff?" "Oh, shut up." "You guys don't even know her." " Get it through your head, fish dick." "She was in on it." " Fuck you, Mac!" "All right, all right." "Fighting's not gonna change anything." "Foster, she played you good." "It's called the honey pot." "You should have known better." "Well, I guess they were gonna shut us down anyway." "But you two are friends, you know?" "You shouldn't let this come between you." "Come on now." "Shake hands." " Sorry." " You should be." " Sorry." " Sorry." " Good, now." "Who wants a shot?" " I do." " I'll have one." " I said, who wants a shot?" " I do!" " Do you have any openings in Sherburne, Cap?" " Not for you guys." " Oh, come on." " We're like the sons you never had." " If you were my son, Mac..." "I would have smothered you by now." "Smothered me in gravy, you big, dirty man." "You put in for a transfer yet?" "I applied for a guard job." "At the post office." " Oh, man." " You'll finally get to shoot someone." " To the death of fun." " Here's to you guys." "What's up, dirty dogs?" "Guess that's it for the old locker." "She stinks like ass, but I'll sure miss her." "I guess you can say that about all my girls." " What the fuck?" " What the fuck to you too." " What are you?" " I'm a cop." "What are you?" " A local cop?" " Grady had an opening." "Big deal." "Why are you wearing that uniform in my station?" "Look who's talkin', Denim Dan!" "You look like the president, chairman and C.E.O. of Levi Strauss." "Where'd you get the Canadian tuxedo?" "You ratted us out to Grady." "I'm not even gonna dignify myself with a response to that." "Hey, I got no hard feelings." "Nothin' a few beers can't fix, right?" "Hey, how about one on me, Ramrod?" "Excuse me." "Uh, excuse me, guys." "Yeah." "I'll be right back." " We should have taken him out the back and shot him." " Aye, aye, Captain." " I gotta call Ursula." "Fellas, we got to get him back." "He's gotta pay for this." "Nobody wears that uniform in my station." " Farva's goin' down!" " Yes!" "Right!" " Grady's goin' down!" " Yeah!" " All of these fuckers are goin' down!" " Yeah!" "What?" "Welcome to Dimpus Burger." "May I take your order?" "Hello in there." "This is Officer Rod Farva." " Give me a liter of cola!" " Uh, sorry, Officer Farva, I can't" "You want me to come in there, boy?" "I'll come in there!" " Hello?" " Chase him!" "Chase him!" "Let's pull someone over." "License and registration." "When you gotta go, you gotta go." "We are the Spurbury police!" "I'm cool." "I'm cool." "Grady!" "Get your ass out here!" " Grady!" " I don't want to sound like a wienie..." " but I think I should call Ursula." " No way!" " You sound like a fuckin' wienie." " Gimme the radio." "Grady?" "Bruce?" "Fuck it, all right." "Gimme the goddamn radio." " He's not home!" " Hey, Chief-o!" "This is Officer Rod Farva." "Come in, Ursula." " What're you doin'?" " Ursula!" "I love you, Ursula." " Come in, Ursula!" " Who is this?" "Hello?" " Oh!" "Oh!" " Oh, she's there?" "Ursula!" "Oh, I'm sorry." "Sir, this is a police channel." "Please get off of it." " I'm tryin' to apologize here." " Sir, this is not a civilian channel." "If you'd like to have a conversation with someone, please go to Channel Five." "All right, Thorny." "Pop it over to Channel Five." "Look what I found!" "A two-by-four!" " You go, girl!" " Foster!" " Help me out here, Rabbit." " Foster, is that you?" " I need someone sober." " You got it, Cap." " And, hit!" " My ass in your face, Thorny." "So-So, hey, what's goin' on?" "Don't use that boyfriend voice with me." "What are you doing?" "Don't use that boyfriend voice with me, Foster!" " Hit!" " Yea!" "Now, did you know that Farva was the one who told Grady about our plans?" " Yeah." "I know." "He's working for us now." " So, I'm sorry." " I don't know." "Can I come see you?" " I love you." " Listen, Foster" " Ursula!" "I'm naked!" " Listen, Foster?" "You want to get these guys back?" " Yeah!" " I know a way we can get 'em really good." "Did you hear that, guys?" " Yes, sir." "Okay, I get off work at 10:30." "Meet me at Route 9 and Okeechobee Road, and don't be late." " She said, "Okeechobee."" " She's okey-dokey." "She's late." "So, Foster..." " is this your usual meeting spot?" " No." " Fuckin' shit!" " That was Galikanokus!" "Let's get him!" "Outta the car!" "Goddamn it!" "Same shit, different day, huh, Rabbit?" "Everybody outta the car!" "I said now!" "You're all under arrest for stealing a Spurbury police vehicle." "No, Farva, you are under arrest for being a total and complete fuckhead!" "Y-You don't want to do this, Rod." "We gotta go catch that truck." "Using what?" "Super Citizen power?" "Galilkanolkus is on that truck!" "I'll believe that when me shit turns purple..." " and smells like rainbow sherbet." " Does it sound like that when I say it?" "Farva!" "You are not stopping me from getting my job back!" "Get him, Mac!" " I got a job now." " You're a local cop." " You're goddamn right I am!" " You ratted us out!" "No, Thorny." "I barely had a job before." "Farva, get the coffee." "Farva, hit the radio." "Farva, clean the cells!" "I'm a cop, goddamn it!" "I got my own car, now." "I get to bust criminals!" "It's what I gotta do!" " You screwed us over." " No, Thorny." "Okay." "Okay, I did!" "I did, I did." " I'm sorry, Rodney." " Come on, Rod." " Oh, Thorny!" " No, no, no." "Please." "Come on." "Listen, listen." "This is your big chance." "When we go up there, and we're wrong, no big deal." "But if we're right, you can be a hero." "Come on." "Team Ramrod!" "Will you look at that?" " We got 'em, Cap." " We got 'em, we got 'em!" "Fuckin' Galikanokus!" "There's Canadian markings on that plane." "Okay, Foster." "You and Rabbit come around in a classic pincer move." " Mac, I need you to take" " No, no, no, Thorny." "Me and you!" "We outflank 'em, and we do, like, a submarine move." " Team Ramrod?" " Shut up, Farva." " Farva, you're leaning" " Wait a minute!" "The locals!" "I hate those fuckin' guys!" "Goddamn it, you dipshits!" "If I had my car, I'd have been in on this bust!" "Rodney!" "Rodney, get your ass back here!" "Here we go again- What the fuck?" "Oh, did you see that?" "He kissed that guy!" "Holy shit!" "God!" "We should have known." "So, wait." "The local cops are selling Afghani grass to the Canadians?" " No, Rabbit, it's comin' in from Canada." "Canadian grass." "Ah!" " Assholes." " No!" "The local mothers are running protection for 'em." "Oh, I guess I'm the asshole." "I'm sorry we didn't wait for you, but" "Listen to me, Foster." "I need to tell you something." " What, are you guys drunk?" " No!" " Your local buddies are runnin' grass!" " Listen, I know." "I know what they're doing." "I've known for awhile." "You know this?" "Wait, wait, wait, wait." "Are you in on it?" "No!" "They keep me on dispatch." "I didn't know what to do when I found out about it." " I was afraid I'd lose my job." " Oh." "You should have just told us." "We would have arrested them." " Yeah, we used to be cops, remember?" "Shh!" " I remember" "No offense, but the less you guys knew, the less you could screw up." " Oh." " I was trying to stop it without getting brought down." "Th-That's why I helped you find the reefer, that's why I helped you guys steal the Winnebago... and that's why I brought you..." "here tonight." "You didn't do this because you like Foster?" "No, I mean- I do like Foster, but I" "But you used him." "Yeah, I guess so." "But I really like him now." " This is so good" " This is kind of awkward." "I hate to break up the "like-fest," but it's prime time for crime-time!" "But wait!" "Hey, hey, hey!" "Are you guys kidding?" "Look at yourselves." "You saw what they did to Galikanokus's girlfriend." "And you guys are drunk, and unarmed." "Oh, hey, I am sober as a bird." "I am drunk." " What do you got?" " No guns." "They got flares." "And some string." "Oh, Farva, you sad, lonely man." "Oh, wait." "He's got your name written on it." "Chief!" "Chief Grady!" "I secured the perimeter, sir." "Farva!" "Sorry I missed the call." "Looks like we got 'em." "Rock 'n' roll!" "What the hell are you doin' here, Farva?" "Put that pistol down!" " Qu'est-ce-que c'est ca?" " English!" " Chief!" " Put a bullet in him, Grady." "What the fuck is this?" " Grady?" " Shit, what the fuck is this?" "Shoot it!" " That's my car." " Grady!" " That's my girl!" " Grady!" "Smy, Burton, check that out." " What are ya, drunk?" " Drunk enough to kick your ass." "Let's see what you've got, O'Hagan." " Big Bear" " He's iron tough" " Big Bear" " He looks like a rug" " He don't take no guff He's Big Bear" "Come on." "Come on!" "Two-time Navy champion." "Tag 'im and bag 'im!" " Way to go, Cap." " Give my regards to Bobby Baboon." "Oh, Big Bear" "Hey, hey, hey, hey." "You haven't opened it yet, have ya?" " How are ya doin'?" " Hey, man." "Hey, buddy." " Hi." " Hey!" " Hi, John." " Hi, darlin'." "Here we go." ""Dear John..." ""Congratulations are due to you..." ""and your men for your brave, impressive..." ""but most of all unorthodox tactics..." ""in thwarting the drug-smuggling ring... and extreme police corruption."" " She loves us." " All right." ""I cannot stress enough how proud we at the statehouse are of you." ""The great state of Vermont could use more officers like your men." ""As you requested, we have reevaluated the financial situation... regarding your unit."" "And we're gonna buy you a tank." ""Due to our tight fiscal situation..." ""we regret to inform you that we are still..." ""going to have to close your station." ""Good luck in Sherburne, John." ""And give your men my best." ""Sincerely..." "Governor Fuckhead."" "I did not see that coming." "I told you to bring the handcart." " Sorry." " Tilt it." "Oh, goddamn, I remember these things being lighter!" "I think I'm gonna drop a nut!" " Shit." " Hope they like foam." "It's not so bad." "Good exercise." " Cool uniforms." " Yeah." "All the beer you can drink." "I'm into that!" "Beer!" " Oh, God." " You order the keg of St. Anky?" "Uh, yeah!" "But aren't you guys the Highway Patrol?" "Yeah, but our station got shut down, so" "Oh, no shit, man!" "Yeah, shit." "This your keg?" "Oh, my-my Dad ordered it." "But he's asleep right now." "Keg's here!" "Oh, St. Anky's." " Oh, God." "No!" " No, no, no!" "Hey, man." "Hey, bro." "It's cool, man." "They got fired!" "No shit?" "No shit, man!" " All right, all right." "Where's the keg go?" " Put it in the rec room, man." "Make room, make room." "What took you guys so long to get here?" "What'd you do?" "Brew it yourself?" " You're cool, man." " I am cool." "Check this out." "Um, why don't you guys put that, um... over there?" " Move it, move it, move it." " We want a drink!" "Come on." "Tap this thing!" "Actually, you know what?" "I think it's better..." "Feng Shui if it's, uh, over there." "Definitely." "Definitely better over there." "Oh, wait, wait." "Guys." "Guys." "You know what?" "Man, it's probably better for the flow... if you put it back over here." "And don't forget to tap that keg, guys." "Okay, okay." "Somebody's gonna need to sign for this... and I need to see some I.D." "Look, you know what?" "I don't have any I.D." "But, uh, Abraham Lincoln here, he says that I'm 21... and he never told a lie." "Yeah, actually it was George Washington that never told a lie." "You guys drive a hard bargain, but" "Actually, you know what?" "Why don't you guys split it?" "That was good, man." " Are you ready for the fun part?" " Oh, yeah." "'Cause here comes the fun part:" "Spurbury Police!" "You're all under arrest!" " Come on back, now." " Oh, yeah." "All this for a noise complaint?" "I love acid" "Cops." "What the crap?" "How come nobody called me?" " We're in trouble, aren't we?" " Oh, yeah." "You're in big trouble." "And if you really want to choke somebody, you gotta hit the Adam's apple." "Like this?" "So call off the party quick" "Find a replacement" "Get your pink slip Quit your downtown" "Loser!" "Ping!" "Ping!" "Ping!" "Ping!" "Ping!" "Farva!" "Let's face it" "Get your pink slip Get your pink slip" "Quit your day job Quit your day job" "Don't be a fuckin' slob" "Yeah" "Get your pink slip" "Quit your day job" "Quit your day job Tell 'em all to fuck off" "Tell 'em all to fuck off Tell 'em all to fuck off" "Tell 'em all to fuck off Tell 'em all to fuck off" "In the black and blue light" "Now he's readin' your rights" "He's a mean dog barkin' in the dust and the dark" "In the middle of the night" "Ain't no better you can do" "After all I'm through A trooper with an attitude" "A trooper with an attitude" "Said you're pumpin' that line You'll never beat it this time" "And he laughs in your face So you feel the disgrace" "Now you're spreadin' 'em wide" "Did you walk clean comin' through" "You got troubles I'm sure A trooper with an attitude" "So he tried to make it clear" "You're wishin' you weren't here" "You don't try to make a go It's all on video And they're sellin' the beer" "The work's still comin' true" "You got troubles I'm sure A trooper with an attitude" "Get out of the car." "That's right." "I'm talkin' to you." "I think we got it."

"Hello, ladies." "This is all kind of funny, really." "Actually this whole thing started because of laughter, you know." "Laughter, when the smile has an orgasm?" "And out of 100% of you women... I can bring 99% of you to this climax chuckle." "I can." "But I can't make the one girl I love smile like she made me smile... on the worst day of my already terrible laughable life." "Whichisquite a fee considering I've beenhavinghorrible days... eversince lwasakid." "I'm sorry!" "I'm sorry!" "Don't move!" "Your tongue has stuck to my clit ring!" "God!" "Don't move!" "Don't!" "Don't move!" "This drawing is... appalling!" "You show absolutely no understanding of this woman or any woman!" "In the future the only drawing you'll be doing is drawing unemployment." "You have to listen to me!" "We are over, we are completely and totally over!" "You break up with me, you wanna do it before I give you a ride home." " Sorry, we are over." " No!" "You can't do this to me now!" "Please, Gretchen, not now!" "Today is already the worst day of my life!" "I believe you lost your smile?" "You lost your smile." "Hername wasHope." "She hadthis winningsmile that couldtake Olympic gold." "I've had a lot of bad days in my life." "Today definitely qualifies as the worst." "Things could be worse." "At least Gretchen broke up with you before you got you penis pierced." "You see?" "Your funny ha- ha is just sort of accidentally funny." "Accidentally funny?" "See, I'm always doing weird stuff and I don't even know it." "Just happens." "And thus, I'm accidentally funny." "Sam, nobody is normal all the time." "Look at me. I just noticed I've had my shirt on inside out all day." "Yeah, but you know, I'm not even normal some of the time." "You see?" "Would you look at this?" "Case in point, right?" "I have a fake wallet to keep in my pants pocket in case I get mugged." "I keep my real money crumpled up inside my sock." "This is odd?" "You know anyone else in the entire world that does this?" " 0ne other." " Who?" "Me." "That 's a really good idea." "Great." "Now I'm contagious." "Sam, what made you enroll on an Art School?" "I sort of determined that all artists are weird, so if I became one... that I'd have an excuse for my chronic strangeness." "You can see now why today is my personal Waterloo." "In less than an hour I've not only found out I have no talent... no future, no girlfriend... but now I also have absolutely no excuses for my eccentricities." " What can I do to cheer you up?" " Nothing." "There's nothing you can do." "Maybe I could start by cleaning this "snew" off your shirt." ""Snew"?" "What 's "snew"?" "I don't now." "What 's new with you?" "What didSnow White sayto Pinocchio whenshe wassittingonhis face?" ""Lie to me!" "Lie to me!"" "Hey, let 's make like a baby and head out." "Let 's go." " You know what I think we should do?" " No." "Which window did you say was your ex- girlfriend's?" "I think it was that one." "You bastard!" "I'm gonna come down there and cut your balls off!" "Then I'm gonnashove them in your mouth and make you eat them!" "lflaughterisasmilingorgasm, let me tellyou... we hadalaughterthat wasmultiple, simultaneousandwet." " My number is 555..." " 0kay." "...6344." " 6344." "0kay, great." "Don't forget this." "Your smile." "And thank you for giving it back to me." " That 's my ride." " 0kay." " Call me." " Yeah, I will." "lhadto findHope." "So ltookajobasadeliveryguy." "Here's your order." "Hope probablywould've calledme acuisine career." "Here's your... lt'slame,Iknow... but at least the joballowedme to search forHope oneverycorner... ineverybuilding,ineveryrun Imade throughout the city." "0h my God!" "I'm so sorry!" "I'm gonna pull out. i mean, back out." "Women?" "Please follow me this way." "The Women's Residence and Club has been in existence since 1923." "We have women from all 50 States as well as Puerto Rico and Guam... and 20 other countries." "We have two 0lympic size swimming pools as well as four tennis courts." "Excuse me?" "Hi." "Do you know where 6D is?" "Thanks." "Delivery!" "Hope!" "Hey!" "Hello, Sam." "0h my God!" "I've been looking for you everywhere." "You have no idea." "I'm so, so sorry I never called you." "Because you wrote your number down on my palm... and there was pouring rain that night and it washed up." "It 's okay." "How are you?" "You look like someone dropped an ACME safe on your head." "Fine." "Me too. I'm fine too." "This is awkward." "Times like this I think about dogs." "Dogs?" "I like the way they lick your face and let you pet them all over." "It'dbe nice ifwomencould let youknowyou're liked... the way that a dog lets you know." "Nice ice- breaker." "Maybe." " You ordered this?" " Thanks." "They sent the extrasauce." " l think all I have is a $50." " Yeah, that 's okay." "I think I can break that." "I think I'm making a habit out of this." "Are you sure you're alright?" " Yeah, never better." " Cause you don't look never better." " You're wrong. I'm fine." " l thought I was wrong once... but I was mistaken." "And I'm not wrong here." "Come on, what 's the matter?" "Nothing that a nice meal couldn't take care of." "Goodbye, Sam." " Where's Holden?" " He's in the back." "I'll butter up your sweat, baby!" "You got such a tight ass!" "What 's that?" "Squeeze it harder, huh?" "What the hell are you doing?" "Hey, man!" "What 's going on?" "I was rearranging my collection." "It was totally inefficient." "I had "double penetration" filed under "double dildo"." "I don't care about your Smithsonian smut." "Why was your hand on your ass?" "Sometimes I gotta get a little kinky to... jack up the old winky." "See?" "Here. lf I stare at this centerfold here... and concentrate real hard while grabbing my own butt... it feels like I'm feeling up Miss September's ass!" "You know, uncle Bart would be really pissed... if he came in and caught you flicking your grunge." "I haven't seen you this cracky since I gave you that Montezumaswindley." "Come on." " Spill your guts." " No, I can't." "Why?" "Why can't you tell me what 's going on?" "Holden, how can I talk to you?" "You're one of those guys who have a tray that makes boob- shaped Jell- 0." "You once bought those underwear to lift and separate your butt." "You've got arthritis from jerking off too many times." "I did not get arthritis!" "It 's "carpotonal syndrome"." "Holden!" "This gelatin boobs are fantastic!" "They're sensitive, aren't they?" "You're so tense!" "What you need is a day with my two- dimensional lady friend here." "She not only pulls out... but she puts out." "What do you think, Sam?" "Isn't the mass of the ass directly proportional to the beauty of the cutie?" " What?" " That is the spirit!" "Man, when you're down in the dump you just gotta laugh it off!" "You know what?" "That 's actually a good idea." "How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?" "A fish." "Look at this article. lt explains how a few good endorphins... can make you smile." "Conversely, alright, it says that if you force asmile on your face... you can trick your body into releasing the same feel- good endorphins... which make you happy." "Did you know that if you change the "i's" in Mississippi to "o's"... you get Mossossoppo?" "Come on, are those endorphins pumping?" "Come on, that 's great!" "Look at that face!" " Come on, look at that..." " Stop, Sam." "I appreciate the effort... and your comedy act is a great success." "It 's your audience that 's a total failure." "I gotta get some new material." "0h my God!" "I think I broke it." "I think "busted" is a more appropriate phrase." " Does it hurt?" " No, you didn't pop my boob... you just poked a hole in my aquabra." "I'm Flat Chasted. I mean I'm Annie." "Hi, I'm Sam." "What 's in a aquabra?" "It 's a brassiere that supplements the figure with water implants." "See?" "There it is!" "God!" "0kay. 0kay." "It 's funny. I gotta remember to tell my friend Hope about this." "Hope on the top floor?" "She doesn't think anything's funny." "What gave her such a mood dunk?" "I mean is she always like this?" "No, at first she was pretty happy." "I catch you later." "One dayHope came home andsomethinghappened." "I haven't seen her out of her room since... but I work really weird hours at the hospital, so I don't see anyone." " lt was nice meeting you." " Yeah, you too." "Do you know Hope in 6D?" "My acting coach told me no to talk to anyone while I'm doing my exercises." "Excuse me, miss, do you know...?" "What did he instruct you to do?" "Act like a coffee table?" "I'm the wind blowing in the desert." "Hello!" "Delivery." "Door's open." "Wow!" "What a great place you got here." "I just delivered to that girl Hope up in 6D." "Man, her place was awreck!" "Do you know her?" "Hi!" "I'm Sam." "I'm your coffee delivery guy." "I said do you know Hope in 6D?" "Hey, I'm speaking to you, Tanya." "Can you hear me say this?" "You look like a man- eating Amazon princess... doing her war painting in preparation for a battle in the corporate jungle." "Delivery boy, could you bring me my expresso?" "0h, I take it that 's an order from TanyaAmazon Princess!" "Her Majesty commends me to bow down before her and fetch her coffee!" "Well I refuse!" "I won't be your slave no matter what you throw in me." "I'm not turned on by your executrix power suit, your war armor!" "Your mini- skirt loin cloth displays a powerful weapon!" "Your thighs which make me tremble with lust!" "And your brassiere is like a protective brass plate... you can tear away to unsheathe your most powerful weapon:" "your hypnotic breasts!" "Here's your coffee, Tanya." "0h, and by the way, I'm not the Amazon princess." "I'm the Amazon queen." " What are all these balloons for?" " Some kid's birthday party." " So, how's your probe going?" " Probe?" "0h, the investigation. lt 's terrible." "Some of these girls can be really mean." "There's this one girl, Tanya, she treats me like a total pee- on." "Pee- on?" "I didn't know you're into watching." "No, not like that." "God, Holden!" "Do you ever think about anything other than sex?" "I said forget about Hope and move on to someone who's more probable!" "No, it 's not gonna happen." "I'm not giving up on her." "Come on, man!" "Wake up and smell the pussy!" "You are totally in love with her." "You think that if you find her smile... that she'll end up falling in love with like some fairy tale!" "But more likely she'll end up screwing you over... and you'll end up taking it in the tail!" "0kay, alright. I do love her." "But I'm also her friend." "Look man, something terrible happened to her in that building." "I'm gonna find out what that was and maybe I can make things right again." "Easy on those balloons, you don't want to disappoint the birthday... boy." "Damn it!" "Today is your birthday!" "Now that... is what I call a blow job." "Hey chap, check this out." "Kaboom Monthly?" "The definitive guide for popping a boner." "When you're done can I look at that?" "Hello!" "Delivery!" "Delivery here!" "Stop trying to find out what happened to Hope!" "Who are you?" "Come back here!" "I need to speak to you, please!" "Where did you go?" "Please tell me why don't you want me to find out what 's wrong with Hope!" "Where are you?" " Not so fast!" " You know... they say that toenails are the teeth of the foot." "If that 's true, I'd say you got a pretty nice set of fangs here." "You think you're funny?" "Pretty cheese ball if you ask me." "Yeah, the same thing could be said about your record setting toe- jam." "You're that delivery boy for Bart 's on the other side of the park, aren't you?" " Why, thank you, Captain 0bvious." " That 's not my name." "It 's Willens." "And I manage this place." "And I don't like you snooping around." "If I see you around here again, I'm gonna make sure I call the..." "Hey!" "You almost hit me with that." "How would you like it if I loaded one up?" "Go ahead." "Make my day." "You gotta be joking." "I was just clearing my nasal passages." "You were the one making a thing of it." "Alright." "Now don't go doing anything rash." "Take your fingers off the nostril." "You first." "Same time." "Eat it, Willens." "Go ahead, pull the trigger." " Pull on this." " Get lost, ass!" "The only thing I'd figured out is why detective is sometimes called a"dick"." "Cause that'sexactly what I'dfoundout." "lwasn't goodinvestigating the mysteryofHope." "lhadto findanewstrategy." "Sam!" "The rent is due." "Hope!" "Look at this!" "Hope!" "Come to the window!" "See this!" "Come on, Hope!" "Look at this!" "This is funny!" "Hi." "Look, I have to ask you something and you have to promise not to laugh." "I promise." "Ever since I met you I wanted to take you to dinner and the movies." "0kay." "Just this once." " Give me asec, okay?" " Yeah, sure." "So, do you think that Hope is cute?" "Yes, she's such a fox." "I think so too." "And get your hands off of her." "Come on in." "Wow, I love what you've done to the place... it 's got a real sort of post- modern Miss Havishing look to it." "Yeah, don't mind the mess." "It 's okay." "So I hear you used to be a model?" "If we're gonna talk about me you're gonna have to leave." "Sorry." "It 's just that the other day when you found me, you know... I sort of feel like you..." "like you saved me and I... and I just wanted to say thank you... I was gonna make some coffee, do want any?" "Yeah, sure." "So you know, like you said, the other day when I saw you..." "Actually you don't owe me anything, you know?" "It 's... I know I don't owe you anything." "I'm just trying to be your friend." "Do you want any cream or sugar?" "I'll get some sugar." "You know, I'm just trying to be your friend." "That 's what friends do, right?" "They help each other out." "I'm gonna ask you to leave, actually." " What?" " l shouldn't have done this and... I just said I was trying to be your friend." "I'm gonna give you money for the meal." " No, the meal's on me." " Will you please?" "Yes, Sam." "Please, will you just go?" "And take the money?" "No, I'm not gonna take money for the meal, forget it!" " l'm not gonna take the money." " Just take the money, Sam." " No, the meal..." " Please." "The meal's on me." "Please will you at least go Dutch with me?" "0kay." "Don't you be so difficult." "Relax, Sam, it 's Annie." "I just couldn't hear over the washers, I forgot I had that thing on." "It 's a facial massager, it tightens the muscles on my face so I look thinner." "0f course it is." "I think this piece goes there and this piece goes here..." "You're still missing some pieces." "Why don't you draw the missing parts?" "You went to the Art Institute, right?" "I never finished. I was so bad they made me turn in my beret." "The Royal Academy of Velvet Painters won't accept me." "I can't even get my work shown in the Museum of Stick Figure Art." "Who cares?" "The curators of that Museum have sticks up their butt." "Velvet painting died with Elvis." "Berets?" "They're not even real hats." "You know, I've always thought that." "I mean it 's got no brim." "Doesn't cover your ears." "It 's not a hat, it 's a goddamn cap!" "That 's what it is." "Why do you have a pen attached to your hip?" "Because I am the fastest draw on the West." "Really?" "I had a bit of a mishap in my prom. I don't put pens in my pockets anymore." "It 's a bit of a long story." "You ever think how far an artist hand has traveled?" "Look at yourself sketching." "Your fingers are in constant motion." "Every time you shade the pen moves a couple inches asecond... that 's gotta add up." "This hand has traveled long distances." "Specially in the shower." "Seriously." "Do you know what my favorite part of being an artist is?" "It 's the most honest profession in the world." "How's that?" "You can pretty much fake being good in any other profession." "but, as an artist, either your drawing is good or it 's bad." "Artists just have to lay everything on the line." "Literally." "Wait asecond." "I've seen this somewhere before." "Here's the album you wanted to borrow." "It took me a long time to find it, I never listen to them anymore." "Welcome." "How to see your ex- girlfriend and live to tell about it." "That is the subject of today's class." "Sam, you didn't have to concoct some story about wanting to borrow music... just to have an excuse to see me." "First the guy must act nice to prove he can handle the breakup entirely." "No, I really wanted to borrow the album." "But it is great to see you." "You finally got your forehead pierced." "Looks good." "Being nice only makes the ex think he wants to get back together... so she with undisguised pleasure reminds him... that she is the dumper and he is the dumpee." "I'm flattered you called, but I broke up with you, remember?" "This doesn't mean that I want to hook up with you again." "This unwarranted rejection hurts like a kick to the sheens." "Really, Sam!" "The second punishment sneaks upon you like asnake." "Come on!" "Go!" "I'm hot, I'm thirsty." "I'm hot, I'm thirsty!" "Hey, what ever happened to those size 14 guys?" "They got on album, then disappeared." "The evil she- dumper tortures the poor dumpee with flirtations... he tries to avoid." " Did your tongue healed up some?" " Yes, it 's never better." "Really?" "It was pretty good before." "The she- dumper is a big prick- tease." "Does the scar tickles the roof of your mouth some?" "Yeah, it does." "You should feel it." "When the dumps chump flirts back, she stops flirting." "Sam, I told you!" "We are definitely over!" "Giving him a bad case..." "of blue balls." "I think I should be a lawyer." "But then again I want to be avet." "The final torment is the worst." "What are you talking about?" "I can't do any of those things, I suck." "No, you're really smart." "You can do anything you set your mind to." "By the way, where am I taking you?" "We're going to meet Carl." "Be nice to him, he's my new boyfriend." "It 's a ball- buster!" "Sam, this is Carl." " Hi." " Hi." "Thisalbumcover." "Howdidrippingit upconnect to what wasrippingupHope'sheart?" "lplayedthisalbum untilmyearsbled." "lhopedthe lyricsmight provide some insight to me orto anyone else." "Hey butthead, turn that music!" "Please listen!" "Thanks for listening." "By the way, what are you today?" "A Vietnam war memorial." "Do you like music?" "What are you doing back there?" "Getting ready to battle in the corporate jungle?" "is that your war paint?" "God. I don't know why I even try." "Do you mind if I call China?" "Hey, why do you have your pager number in speed dial?" "0h my God!" " What are you doing?" " Nothing. I mean... I was just trying to make conversation." "How come you won't give me the time of day?" "Just give me my coffee." "No, not until you give me some answers." " Give it to me." " No." "Give me some straight answers or the expresso gets it." "Look, I got a lot on my mind today... and I don't have time to deal with somebody like you." "Someone like me?" "Are you saying I'm a lowly delivery guy?" "I don't get it." "You women have always been treated like crap... by your boys club bosses and now that you career girls are on top... why do you treat people the same way?" "Maybe I wouldn't have to act like such a bitch on wheels... if you guys weren't so angry that I made more money than you." " Now give it to me!" " Pretty cranky in the morning." "Need your caffeine fix, huh?" "You know what makes me angry with women sometimes?" "I am a gentleman, I always open doors for women." "But when awoman is in front of me in an entrance... 9 times out of 10 she doesn't hold the door open for me." "You want men to treat you as equals but you won't give us equal treatment!" " What do you want?" " Respect!" "A "hello, how are you?" would be great for starters." "0kay, how about a "goodbye, and to hell with you"?" "Stay." "The plumber will pay me!" "Stop trying to find out what happened to Hope!" "See, all I have to do is to find the girl who has this scar on her behind..." "And boom!" "You can crack the case." "What are you doing?" "I hope the water isn't too cold!" "Rose, petal rose, petal beauty." "Today I'm my vagina." "To really complete that assignment you should add an orgasm to it." "Harder!" "Deeper!" "You know that phrase "behind every great man there's a great woman"?" "I'm afraid that I'll never be a great man cause I can't get my great woman." "I prefer the corollary." "Behind every great woman there's a great man." "Look, I'm serious here, man." "I mean is it impossible... to become a great man without a great woman?" "What is this?" "We don't stock these!" "Those are for me!" ""0lder Bolder Magazine"?" ""Grannies Fannies lllustrated"?" ""Wide Load Review"?" " "Stomp Monthly"?" " Shut up!" "I'm tired of you acting like I'm from the bottom of the Bible belt." " At least I have faced the awful truth." " What awful truth?" "I am gross." "All men are." "And every day we face the endless nightmare that... love handle by love handle, nose hair by nose hair... we're becoming more grotesque versions of the cute boys we were." "It is impossible to stop the hordes of time... from destroying our muscle tone and leaving us with these... defeated saggy male boobies!" "But I am at peace. I have come to grips with the whore that has become me." "So how does "Moist Midget" magazine improve your image?" "Because men are gross on the inside too." "That 's why these magazines sell." "A woman's pussy mount is aslippery slope." "Sex is a narcotic and you, my friend, are addicted just like me." "0nly you're at the smoking marijuanastage I'm at the heroin stage." " More like the speed balling stage." "Good one." "Now, my point is... an addict needs a bigger and bigger fix each time just to get the same high!" "That 's why they move on to the hard stuff." "Now sex is the same way." "You need something kinkier and kinkier to get the same thrill in your drill!" "0kay, so hence "America's Harriest" magazine?" "No, I don't know if "America's Harriest" is gonna get me donkey dick." "But, almost doner for a boner, and these magazines are somebody's fix." "They might give me a pecker high, they might not." "You are so far off you're not even wrong!" " lt 's so much better with awoman." " Don't fool yourself." "The straight screw is the methadone of sex." "It 'll keep you from the hard stuff for awhile, but sooner or later... you will roll off your old lady... just like an addict falls off the wagon." "Accept it, Sam." "You and I are alike." "Your weirdness is one step away from my grossness." "And look, you enrolled on an Art School so you could see naked women." "That is no different than me looking at dirty pictures." "It 's completely different." "0ne is art, the other is pornography!" "Yes, but once you start down the dark path... forever will it dominatrix your destiny!" "Join me." "I'll never join you!" "It 's in your blood, Sam." "I am your cousin." "Now Holden and I did have some of the same DNA... and this meant that I could have the same genetic inclination as him... towards becoming a Grand Master of perversion." "Got me spooked." "Trick or treat!" "I should've guessed." "Who are you supposed to be?" "I'm Popeye." "And what am I supposed to be?" "You, my dear, are a Freudian slip." " You know what I can't stand?" " Trick or treat!" "People who aren't who they say they are." "Like... take, for instance, wise old Mahatma Gandhi." "Did you know that in aspeech advocating non- violent protest... he once said that Mussolini wasn't a bad man?" "You know I had the same feeling when I saw a comic book about the Pope." "I mean, what does the Pope need a comic book for?" "Yeah, and the idiots that wanna read a comic book on the Pope!" "Yeah, exactly." "Like "What do I want?" "Batman or the Pope?"" "Like the Popemobile is as cool as the Batmobile." "Come on!" " We need to get some more candy." " 0kay. I mean, don't get me wrong... I'm not a Bible basher." "And for the matter I also hate the jerks on the other end of the spectrum." "You know the ones?" "Got those old beat up cars and a bumper sticker that says like..." ""Don't laugh, your daughter might be in the trunk."" "His name is Richard Blaine." "I think he's the pecker that broke Hope's heart." "This party's the perfect place for us to get the girls give us ascheme on him." "Gotcha." "Let 's probe." "My friend Richard Blaine used to do an acting exercise exactly like that." "This isn't an exercise." "This is how I dance." "So, do you know a guy named Richard Blaine?" "Carl!" "Has anyone ever told you you got a rack that should be bronzed?" "Beat it." "You know my friend Richard Blaine loves puzzles like this." "Do you know him?" "Did you get it done?" "Wait!" "How do I get out of this thing?" "What 're you doing?" "Finger fucking?" "No. lt 's a Chinese finger puzzle." "See, the harder I pull the more stuck I become." "It happened to me once." "Except that wasn't in a puzzle, it was in an Asian chick." "What was her name?" "Chew Me Wang." "You know, this thing has got me thinking." "Hope is a lot like this puzzle." "The harder I try the further I get away from solving it." "If you wanna find out what happened to Hope, do exactly as I say... and keep absolutely quiet." "Now wait here." "If you wanna have the greatest sex of your life, do exactly as I say." "Kinky." "Do you know it gets me hot?" "Doing it in complete silence." "What are you doing?" "Sam?" "Holden?" "I told you to stop trying to find out what happened to Hope!" "But you wouldn't listen!" "You know that Chinese finger puzzle?" "It doesn't just work on fingers!" "0h God!" "Holden, low your puppy!" "Low your puppy!" "It 's the wise guy!" "This way." "Come on, this way!" "This way!" "0h my God!" "Now cough." "My heart 's beating so fast I can't reduce the blood flow, you know?" "You guys have been in the bathroom a long time." "What 's the holdup?" " How are you doing, Holden?" " No luck." "I need inspiration, I need..." "impotence inspiring imagery." "What is this?" "Check out this fat chick." "She's a real Bahama mama!" "She is fatty fatty fat fat!" " l think it 's working." " ls it?" " Really?" " Yes. lt... is." "Nothing like something saggy to make you go soggy." "Here." "Try it, Sam." "It 's you, isn't it?" "What do you say I take you out for a cup of coffee?" "I can't." "My mascara is all smeared." "And I smeared my eyebrows too!" "It 's okay." "It 's okay, just wipe it off." "I can't, I just spilled the remover." "I'm a freak." "Come on, Annie." "Let me take you out." "See?" "We'll be freaks together." "People back then used to call me a Gargantuan." "Now I'm what they call nothing special, nothing scary." "I think you're very cute." "Thanks." "Let me see." "It 's very good." "When I was a little kid... they used to say that I looked like one of those strange Dr. Seuss creatures." "They called me Sam I Am." "You know, from "Green Eggs and Ham"?" "When they teased me, do you know what I used to do to cheer myself up?" ""l like to eat them when they're hot I'd also eat them mixed with snot"" ""l'd eat them in the morning dew I'll eat them 'til l have to spew"" ""l like to eat green eggs and ham Yes, I do" " Sam I Am!"" "Well... goodnight, Sam I Am." "Goodnight, Annie." "Tanya, are you okay?" "Tanya, are you home?" "It 's Peggy, open up!" "Tanya!" " 0h my God!" " l was calling!" " My phone is off the hook." " This is your big break." "There's a breaking story on Spring Street." "You gotta run." " Now?" " They'll put you on camera." " My god!" " Now!" "I'm serious, man." "Her pager is her vibrator." "I was wondering why she set her pager number on speed dial." "It 's a new speed dial aid service!" "Come." "God!" "Man, we gottastop laughing." "I'm still recovering from that Chinese puzzle!" "It hurts, doesn't it?" " ..." "HighSchool, where Mr. Delgado..." " Do you know her pager number?" "I think it was like 555- 0068 or something." "Why?" " Testing out your theory." " No, Holden." "Don't!" "Give me that!" "You know what your problem is, Sam?" "You're pussy- whipped." "And you're not even getting any pussy." "This Tanya is treating you like scum and you stand up for her... because she makes your pecker stand up." "Give me the phone!" " No!" "Go screw yourself, man!" " Precisely." "That is the only way to stop awoman from using your dick as astickshift... and driving you around town on a full tank of your hormones!" "Take it from me, Sam." "I cannot tell you the number of times a girl has got me to fix her car... or paint her house or take her husband to the airport!" "Show them damn farmers market and sit through the pain- in- the- ass opera." " Shut up, Jason!" "Shut up!" " No, Jason's right." "Jason's a meathead, but he's right." "Now listen, Sam. I did all kinds of these things because a guy's balls... are the biggest reservoir of hope this world has ever seen!" "You know, trying to get laid by fixing her fan belt is your fault, yours!" "Sam, you're so full of man gravy!" "Listen, you need to be more like me and take matters into your own hands." "Why do you think they call it "masturbate"?" "Because it allows you to be the master of your own fate." "And it 's not just a physical release." "It 's a release of women's control over you!" "Jason!" "You don't need them, they can't manipulate you." "I'm doing this for your own good." "Today is your independence day, Sam!" "...watchingsome amazingstory... that... if... anyone... deservesa..." "Miraclescanhappenl" "You're such a... a dick!" "And so are you." "AfterstandingupforTanya, ldecidedlshouldstandupformyself." "Speciallywith the evil she- dumper,Gretchen." "You know what, Gretchen?" "It just occurred to me." "You're just like this bike." "I'm cool, I'm thirsty." "I'm cool, I'm thirsty." " You're so directionless." " l don't know what I want to do." "0n one hand I could be a graphic designer, or I could be asinger... or I could be a doctor, or I could be a pet detective, or I could..." "And I'm always pumping up your ego like "you're very creative"..." " l'm creative." " ..."You're very smart"..." " l'm smart." " ..."You're very sexy"... I'm sexy. I am sexy." "You're really on maintenance." " Come on, let 's go." " But Carl is the other way." "Yeah, but I gotta go now." "But you wouldn't even have this bike if I hadn't given you mine." "You know what?" "It 's your bike and you can keep it." "Because it 's a real piece of work." "Alright!" "I'll give it to Carl." "I don't need you to ride my bike!" "What happened to the breaks?" "Sam, help!" " Sugar with the coffee, right?" " Yeah, please." "You know what I saw on the shopping tent the other day?" "They're selling action figures of the Pope." "Really?" "What are you doing with my box?" "That we can play checkers." "So what do you do when there's something you really want... but you know you can never have it?" "You become a delivery guy for your uncle." "But becoming an artist... is that what you always wanted to do?" "So then why did you quit?" "'Cause my favorite teacher told me I couldn't draw." "People are wrong all the time." "Why don't you draw me?" "Forget it." "I used to pose for art classes all the time." "I could never do you justice." "If you draw me, I'll show you my etchings." "Well, I'm sure your etchings are a masterpiece." "You really need to see the cross- etching to appreciate it." " Let 's see." " No, it 's terrible." "Come on." "Let me see." "I let you see." "That 's not terrible." "Why do you think it 's bad?" "Look at the spatial relationships." "That 's too exaggerated." "Barely looks like you." "I made you funny- looking." "It 's like a5- year- old did this." "I was just watching aspecial on Picasso." "You know what he said about his own drawings?" "That he'd strive to draw like a child." "Because he said that a child's drawings are unaffected by rules... and they are extremely expressive." "They truthfully show what 's inside the child." "Yeah, but I wasn't striving to draw like a child." "Just happened by mistake." "Maybe your mistakes are really your style." "Maybe we make mistakes because... deep down we really want to make them." "I lost my job thanks to you!" "I didn't make those calls, alright?" "It was my cousin Holden." "His dad own this place." "It 's true, I tried to stop him." "You're lying." "No, really." "Holden and I got into a big fight about it." " Yeah, right." " Just because I'm a guy... doesn't mean I'm out to screw you." "Why do you hate men so much?" "Women are just superior to men." " Like how?" " Like you can't have babies." " You can't open jars of peanut butter." " Women mature faster than men." " Men are faster in the bathroom." " All serial killers are men." " Almost all cereal box mascot are men." " Women can have multiple orgasms." " We don't have to fake them." " Women live longer than men." " lt 's away we can get away from you." " You can't take anything seriously." " You can't take ajoke." " l don't need a man for a thing." "You just set your beepers on vibrate." "0kay!" "So put your hands up here, pal!" "That is real good, pretty lady." "That 's... 0kay, here it is." "Here's the deal." "I said put your hands up!" "I don't want any funny business!" "There are 20,000 comedians out of work." "And I don't need you to act funny like a bump in a log!" "Now, let me tell you what this is all about." "Everyday I come in here and I say "Hey pal... can you spare a cup of coffee?" "Cream?" "A little sugar?"" "And everyday, every day and day you give me a rag time!" "Guess what?" "Today you're on the rag!" "You understand what I'm saying?" "It 's your turn!" "So I want you to open that cash register... take out all of the cash and while you're at it, let 's see..." "Give me a pack of smokes, Ultra Light 100... a pack of your breath mints, and... awet lubricant stuff!" "I'm gonna party tonight!" "I am!" "And you know what?" "I'm gonna party on your dime!" "You don't wanna get me pissed off!" "Do it now!" "0pen that cash register, boy!" "And give me...!" "God!" "I thought you said you didn't need a man for anything." "Please!" "You couldn't have done it without me." "Hope!" "Come on, Hope!" "0pen up!" " Sam!" " They're evicting you." "Yeah." "That 's what happens, okay... when you don't go to work, get a paycheck and pay your rent!" " Would you please just leave?" " l won't leave 'til l get some answers." "Sam, you're not helping." "Then at least tell me when this is gonna be over." "I don't know!" " l keep looking for proof." " Proof of what?" "Sam, you've been really sweet." "I think it 's best we say goodbye now." "I'm not gonna leave." "I'll stay out here forever if I have to." "I heard you and Hope before." "I baked you this." "It 's chocolate, my favorite." " No, thanks." " lt 'll make you feel better." "Really." "Every time I was sad I had one of these." " Does it work?" " Worked for me hundreds of times." "You should keep it then." "Hello, my name is Annie, I'm a chocoholic." "I've been cocoa free for 1 year, 3 months and 6 days." "I have a bite of this and I'm an addict again!" "0kay, I'm sorry. I forgot." "Let me get a taste here." "That 's good." "Did you know that chocolate has the same chemical in it... that your body produces when you're in love?" " ls that true?" " l don't know for sure, I've... never been in love before, but that 's what they say." " You have nice legs." " No." "Please just stop looking at them." "Let me see your butt." "No, I don't want you to see my legs, I'm not gonna let you see my butt!" "No, it just occurred to me I never checked out your butt for the scar." " l don't have ascar." " Come on, let me see your butt." " lt 's not a big deal." " Just stop it!" "Don't worry, Annie." "No one is to look at your behind." "You can just let big strong guy like me get in touch with Miss Sweet Cheeks." "That 's not fair, Mr. Hand is to have all the fun!" "That 's not true, Signor Chin." "Johnny 0ne" " Eye is to have all the fun." "Correction, Sir Belly!" "Johnny 0ne" " Eye is a lot uptight, he never gets to see the light of day." "You can't keep me in here forever!" "I will rise again!" "Johnny!" "I hate it when we're apart." "You are the Shakespeare of Body Part Theater." "Well... if this is the theater, then I think you're missing something." "A woman so beautiful... needs a diamond necklace when she goes to ashow." "You like that?" "Well, if you're my date... then you are a little underdressed, I think." "Please, give me a kiss!" "No!" "No, a real kiss!" "Please give me a real kiss!" "How about giving some tongue?" "You know what?" " Hey, Annie." " Hey, Sam I Am." "Does this building have astorage place?" "Yeah, in the basement." "Why?" "I thought maybe Hope have stored something there." "Maybe we can find something out." "What?" "Nothing, I just..." "kind of figured we're together." "We are together." "I'm so happy right now." "Why are you still trying to find out what 's wrong with Hope?" " Because she's my friend." " Don't go down there." "Hey, look." " Nothing's wrong, okay?" "It 's okay." " Please, Sam." "Why?" "Are you jealous?" "0h, no." "I'm new at this. I told you it 's the first time I get a real boyfriend." " Just makes me feel funny." " lt 's okay." " Just do one thing for me." " What?" "Just stop trying to help Hope." "No, I can't. I'm sorry." "She's my friend, I'm not gonna abandon her." "Right, motherfucker!" "That 's right!" " That 's it, Peeping Tom!" " He's in the wall!" "He's in the wall!" "He's in the wall, girls!" "Help me!" "Get him, girls!" "Get him!" "Get him!" " Get him!" " Annie!" "Annie, come on." "0pen the door, please!" "I don't wannasee you anymore." "You made your choice." " Come on, please, Annie!" "0pen the door!" " Go away." "I should have figured it was you." "Hold him still." "Wait!" "I can explain!" "How is that portable pocket pussy going?" " That 's not what it is." " Yeah, sure it is." "Look at that thing." "Got a little nickname for it?" "Cock" " Sucky Sue?" "I know you just can't wait to get your tongue in there and lub it up." "Shut up!" "It 's my turn to talk." "This device is for my... por... problem. I can't even say the word, but... let 's just say that 's how it spells, like a port." "You know how addicts use so many drugs they can't get high anymore?" "That 's what happened to me, man." "I overdosed on hardcore and now... I can't get a hard- on." "While Holden was tellingme about his important problem... that's whenlheardit." "What wasHumphreyBogart's character'sname... in the classic film "Casablanca"?" "RichardBlainel" "RichardBlainelThat was the name ofBogart'scharacterin "Casablanca"." " Here, I'll shut off." " You won 50Odollars,Danl" "Congratulations." "I shouldn't have got that used." "RichardBlaine, asin "Playit again,Sam"." "Might as wellbeen "You've beenplayed,Sam."" "But lwasn't gonnabe played anylonger." "lnowhadahunch." "Ijust neededto test it." "Mr. Willens, please let me by this one last time." "You take one more step forward, you're gonna find yourself in chunks." "In my stool." "And no one's gonna care." "I'm just protecting the girls from the likes of you." "You're the one they need protection from!" " Who's gonna believe you?" " They will." "When they find that you're the grossest man alive." " The 2nd grossest!" "Let my friend go!" " How are you gonna make me do that?" "Ho" " Chi mama!" "Come on, girls!" "That 's all you got?" "Hello, ladies." "So that 's my story." "And I can tell by the looks on your faces... there's gonna be only one way of convincing you to let me go." "Will you let me show you?" "You see, this is irrefutable proof that men are gross." "Maybe I should be more precise: men without women are absolutely gross." "I did all of this, everything, for awoman." "Men need you." "Men need women to save us from ourselves." "Alright, let him go." "I brought you down, you circus freak!" "So you're the one who paged me?" " How did you find out?" " Sam." "He told me you guys had a fight over it." " He was right." "Men are gross." " And I'm the perfect example." "But he forgot to mention one thing:" "that men can also be heroic." "I think it 's a pretty noble thing you did, coming to his rescue." "Why did you do it?" "I didn't want him to end up like me." "Hi. I just wanted to make sure that after the other night... that we're still good, still friends." "0f course." "How did you know?" "All the clues, they were red herrings." "What 's going on?" "Please don't be mad." "I don't even know where to start." "Why not by telling me if you've really been sad for all theses months?" "Yes." "The whole time." "Will you please sit?" "I lost someone really close to me." "Jesse." "He was my best friend in the whole world ever since I can remember." "Let 's do some hairdo." "Six months ago, everything changed." "Jesse!" " What?" " What are you doing?" "I don't know." "We started being friends, Hope." "You know... I wanna be your boyfriend." "Haven't you ever thought of me that way before?" "Not really. I mean you've always been a true friend." "Someone that I can trust." "Like a brother." "And you've always been this guy that has never failed to make me smile." "That 's so nice!" "You know, but..." "I want more than this." "0kay?" "If I wanted a friend I'd go hang out with the guys." "Men don't want female friends." "All men want are girlfriends." "So why don't we kiss and see if there's any spark between us, okay?" " Jesse, please!" "Don't!" " l don't get this!" "Last week I saw you make out with some guy you'd known for an hour... but you won't kiss me?" "Hope, I've known you all my life!" "Let 's just kiss and see how it feels, alright?" "Let 's just kiss." " Just give me a..." " Please!" "Stop!" "Get off!" "You owe me this, Hope, okay?" "Give me a fucking kiss!" " Get off!" "Stop it!" " Shut up!" " Jesse, don't...!" " Give me a kiss!" "Stop it!" "Get off!" "Get off of me!" "That's whenlcame to believe that I couldnevertrust aman's friendship." "Because aman wasonlydoingit because he wantedmore." "Andiflcouldn't trust menasa friend howcouldlevertrust menasalover?" "Then I met you again." " Hope!" " Hello, Sam." "ltoldAnnie about everythingbecause she andlhadbecame reallyclose." "He's out there again." "If Sam could prove that he was your true friend... would you let him be your true love?" "And would Santa Claus bring him here for Christmas, Annie?" "Couldn't hurt to see how far he'd go." "Ever since I met you I wanted to take you to dinner and the movies." "He's out there." "What do I do?" "He just wants to know why you're so sad." "Let 's give him some clues." " An album cover?" "That 's not a clue." " But Sam doesn't know that." "We should just stop, okay?" "I'm gonna be even more depressed if Sam turns out to be just like Jesse." "We can't, we're in too deep." "Here he comes!" "Here he comes!" ""l cried my eyes out..."" "And then write: "...that Richard Blaine knows nothing about love."" "Finally something presented itself." "I think Sam likes me." "Just do one thing for me." "Stop trying to help Hope." "ldidn't plan forthis finaltest." "No, she's my friend." "I can't abandon her." "But it all seemed worth it." "You still wanted to be my friend even after you had a girlfriend... and at the risk of losing the girlfriend." "That 's when I had proof that you are for real." "You were a true friend." "And now I've fallen completely in love with you." "And why aren't you smiling now?" " Because you're not smiling." " What did you expect?" "I knew I was weird, but I didn't know I was stupid." "Sam, you're not stupid." "And what you think is weird I find charming." "And what you call accidentally funny... I call plainly funny." "It 's the way to awoman's heart, Sam." "By making her smile." "And you've made me smile." "Yeah, but all of this..." "none of this is real." "This is real." "Carl!" "Come on!" "It hurts!" "God!" "Hurry up, you idiot!" "What 's wrong with you?" "This painkiller sucks!" "You suck!" "Think off!" "Where'd everything go?" "Dumpster." "That Willens guy gave me the willies." "That could've been me in ayear." "Months maybe." "Yeah. I know the feeling." "Aren't you gonna need some of this stuff?" "Not since Tanya and I hooked up." "Right. I'm happy for you, my friend." "Sam?" "Check this out." "Come on!" "That 's funny." "Talk to me." "What?" "I'm not blind." "Something's wrong if the cartoon on my ass isn't making you smile." "No, I'm okay." "You've got a problem." "You love me but you think you might also love Annie." "No, I don't." "Well, she loves you." "She didn't plan it, but it happened." "And I know you care for her too." "And I love you, Sam." "And I want you so bad... there's a million smiles I have for us to share." "And I can make you love me more." "But it 's... time for me to be a friend to you." "What are you talking about?" "I'm not letting you go, but I'm setting you free." "You have to decide for yourself." "Annie, look, I need to talk to you." "What do you want?" "You know what is worse than not being able to find someone's smile?" "Making someone lose theirs." " l wanna help you get yours back." " l'll find it myself." "When I get to the bottom of this chocolate- chocolate chip." "Look, Annie, I love you." "That 's kind of hard for me to believe after everything you've done for her." "Look, it 's true." "Remember all those drawings I did the other night... when I was camped outside of Hope's door?" "They weren't of her." "They were of you, they're all of you." " That means something, right?" " You're confused." "You've hurt Gargantuan, the girl who's fat but has a great personality." "Now you feel guilty." "You think you care about me but it 's just pity." "Goodbye, Sam." "No, Annie, don't. I'm not leaving here until you look at this." "Annie, please!" "What 's in the case?" " Got any dirty pictures in here?" " Give it back!" "You know, the cops came by to talk to me the other day." "Now I gotta take this cab down to the station and answer more questions." "These drawings are irreplaceable, will you just please give them back?" "These are all of the same girl!" "That bitch, Annie!" " Give it back." " Why should I?" "Look, if you do, I won't tell the cops that you were on those passageways." "I need those drawings to show Annie how much I care for her." "If I lose the drawings I'm gonna lose Annie." "Now give them back!" "You know, I may be the pervert the cops are looking for... but I'm not going down for it." "No, I think I'm gonna keep these." "The cops may be curious about these." "All of the same girl?" "Looks to me like you got an obsession." "The cops are gonna perk up when I tell them you've been stalking her." "See you in court, sport!" "Let him go, Willens!" "Undercover detective!" "You're under arrest." " What?" "I didn't do nothing!" " 0h yeah." "I wasn't on my knees praying all those times... I was on my knees planting listening devices!" "We know all about you." "Get in." "11th Precinct, please." "I think somebody's lost their smile." "Come on, girls, we can't lose one single paper!" "Go, go!" " Here you go, Sam." " Thank you." " Here you go, Sam." " Here." " This is for you." " Found this." " Here's one." " Good luck!" "Annie!" "Annie, come to the window!" "Please!" "Annie!" "Come on!" "Come to the window!" "Please, Annie!" "Annie, look at it!" "Come on, please, will you look at it!" "Annie!" "Are you crazy?" "Can't you see how much Sam cares about you?" "Annie, I love you!" "This is the only way I can get you to see how I feel!"

"Previously on Broadchurch... 100 quid says that's the boat they used and those hairs belonged to Danny." "Mum?" "Why don't you understand the trouble we're in?" "Do they know about us?" "Cos you ain't 16 yet." "Nobody knows." "If you or your family need to speak you call me." "I don't talk to the press." "You're a newsagent." "I sell 'em." "I don't want to be in 'em." "Do you have a conviction for underage sex?" "Weasel!" "Jack's got a history with kids." "They're going to be saying things about me and those things aren't true." "You took pictures of the boys in the Sea Brigade." "Where were you the night of Danny's death?" "Reading a book." "I was at home." "Having sex." "I know about you and Becca Fisher." "Reconstruction." "Thursday night." "One week on." "Your boy Tom, he should do it." "Tell me this will make a difference." "I'm sure it will." "I hate the thought of him out here alone at this time of night." "Our Father who art in heaven:" "hallowed be thy name." "Thy kingdom come..." "Do you think it was him?" "I'm not speculating about anybody." "Yeah, you might not be, but everybody else is." "Well, people need to calm down." "They'll calm down as soon as you arrest someone." "And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil." "Amen." "An eerie silence enveloped the town of Broadchurch tonight as local residents came out in force to support the Latimer family." "United in grief they walked in silent vigil along the route where Danny Latimer was last seen the night before his body was found beneath the cliffs on Broadchurch beach." "Police are hoping the reconstruction will jog people's memories for vital evidence surrounding Danny's death." "And provide fresh leads for an investigation that is showing no sign of leading to an arrest." "Some within the town..." "National news now." "Since the interview." "The journalist was right." "Do you think it was Jack Marshall?" "'.." "And townspeople fear the events of the past few weeks may have changed their town forever.'" "When are we gonna talk about what's happened?" "You mean what you did?" "Yeah." "OK." "You..." "You selfish, childish... egotistical, self-centred bastard." "Yeah." "Two children." "Two children." "15 years of... collecting all of everyone's shit and... and washing it and cleaning it and folding it and tidying it." "And going back to the start like I'm on a bloody wheel." "I've had offers too, you know." "I'm sure you have." "I could have shagged my way round your mates at the Kings Arms." "I'm sure." "But I didn't." "Because I'm..." "I'm a human being." "Not a bloody animal." "15... 15 I've been with you since." "Do you still fancy me?" "Of course I do." "No, not of course you do." "You had sex with someone else." "Why?" "What don't you get from me?" "Truthfully." "Surprise." "Cos, what?" "Cos I'm..." "I'm not inventive enough." "Not experimental enough." "What is it you want?" "Eh?" "S and M?" "No." "Role play?" "Threesomes?" "Don't put words in my mouth." "Dull, right?" "Well, I'm sorry." "But if I'm dull it's only because" "I've never slept with anyone apart from you." "It wasn't about you, Beth." "You make me feel so special." "Thanks, Mark." "Becca, then." "What's so great about her that it's worth risking all this for?" "You really want to know?" "Yeah." "She was different." "That's it." "Not prettier or sexier or nothing." "Just..." "New." "And, I don't know, this... house and this town and this job of mine..." "It's all my life's ever gonna be, isn't it?" "I knew every second of it." "And every second of it to come." "I just felt trapped, Beth." "And that's why I did it." "And I wish to God I hadn't." "And I wish to God that I could get our old, predictable, beautiful life back." "Because what I wouldn't give for that right now." "But..." "I can't, can I?" "I don't want to lose you, Beth." "But I think I already have." "I'm pregnant." "Since when?" "Ouzo night." "First shag in months." "Thanks, ouzo." "You have to keep it." "I don't have to do anything you say right now." "'And the closing headlines:" "hundreds of residents in the town of Broadchurch lined the streets tonight to watch the reconstruction of the last-known moments of Danny Latimer.'" "Press clippings on Jack Marshall." "Everything since he moved here." "Brilliant." "Anything interesting?" "There's a good photo of him with the Sea Brigade." "Wow." "Where did you get this photo of Jack?" "He got papped at the Latimers'." "Photographer came to the hotel, we bought it." "Why did he go and see the family?" "Exactly." "Right." "We need 400 words on the reconstruction, and then main article - the exclusive." "Everything you dug up on Jack, especially his previous conviction." "You're gonna write it." "What, me?" "Look at your little face." "Yes, you." "You did the work, you write the article." "We can run it under my byline." "Be our secret." "Right." "A list of the boats reported missing in the last month." "Any matches?" "No." "Also, details from North Yorkshire on that cold case." "Er... young girl, ten years old." "Raped and killed." "Her body was found on top of a cliff at Whitby." "She'd been stabbed." "So it's nothing like this MO." "I'll look at it." "What else?" "Forensics have come back on the phone." "Mark's prints, but he handled it." "Danny's DNA and Jack Marshall's, which tallies with him finding it." "Or he claimed to find it cos he knew his DNA was already on it." "Funny thing is, Mark confirmed the phone was Danny's when Jack handed it to him, but..." "I always saw Danny with a smartphone like Tom's." "Did we get any data off the handset?" "Nothing." "Everything's been set to forward to another number." "That swankier device that you saw him with - can we trace that number?" "Yeah, but it's a pay-as-you-go SIM." "It's turned off, no signal." "Why does a kid his age have two phones?" "How could he afford this other one?" "The cash we found in his room?" "Could that money have come from Jack Marshall?" "Did you see your son at the end tonight?" "A bit." "He just wanted to go home." "You tell him from me, he's a good lad." "He did right by Danny." "You did good tonight, buddy." "Thanks." "Definitely." "Dad, what does Mum think happened?" "Mate, she doesn't talk to me about it." "Work and home - they're two different things." "Does she think Danny knew the person who killed him?" "I don't know." "What about the phone?" "The one Mr Marshall had." "Did they find anything on it?" "I'm sure Mum will tell us anything we need to know." "We have to let her do her job." "How long would someone get sent to prison for if they killed someone?" "I don't know, 20 years or something." "Why are you asking?" "I just... wondered." "I miss him, Dad." "I know." "We all do." "Bloody hell, you work late." "Jesus, what you doing here?" "Thought I'd come and see you." "No, you didn't." "Go away, Lucy, we've got nothing to say." "What?" "You won't even hear me out?" "Are you ready to seek professional help?" "I don't need that sort of help." "I just need a bit of money to stand me up again." "Oh, here we go." "Look at you." "Nothing changes, does it?" "Even with everything going on, you're self-obsessed." "ã1,000, 900, and I'll be sorted." "I've lent you 3,000." "I saw something." "I think you'll want to know." "What are you talking about?" "The night Danny Latimer got killed." "I don't believe you." "I'm your bloody sister." "You'd even use a boy's death to your own ends." "You never fail to let me down." "Right, what did you see the night Danny was killed?" "What night was it, even?" "It was a Thursday." "Yeah, go on, then." "Lend me that grand and I'll tell you." "I don't even know you." "OK, we need his age here, right at the top." "Yeah." "Tell them where the newsagent's was in the town, how close to where the body was found." "What, quarter of a mile?" "His house is closer, on top of the beach." "And you haven't put that in there?" "Didn't think." "Thinking definitely helps, Olly." "Right." "Structure." "Fifth para should be the third." "That's where you want the detail in his past." "Then we move these two sentences to the top of the second para." "And... make this the close." "See?" "Yeah, it's brilliant." "That is brilliant, it's loads better." "It's good." "It's got all the facts, asks questions, clear point of view, but nothing sensationalised." "You did well." "You'll make someone a lovely apprentice." "Shall we send?" "Really?" "Well, they're waiting." "Send." "OK." "What you doing?" "Sorry." "I've wanted to do that since you walked in." "Cheeky bastard." "We're working." "Sorry, yeah." "I'm sorry, it was... inappropriate." "Yeah, it was." "He's got a conviction for kiddie-fiddling and they're letting him serve ice-creams." "Who are we?" "We look after things ourselves." "If things are wrong we sort them out." "We have to wait till they got enough evidence." "It's all over the paper." "How much proof do you need?" "And what if waiting for evidence means it's too late?" "What if there's another kid?" "Say he has got something to do with it and we've just let him carry on." "How sick..." "Enough!" "All right?" "Stop banging on at me." "You know I can't do nothing." "You want to do something, fine." "Well, as you can see, the police tape's coming down." "The beaches are fully opened, it's a beautiful part of the world and... we hope people aren't put off coming by this... tragic, yet isolated event." "Thank you very much for your time." "Did I sound like a complete arsehole?" "Not a complete one, no." "I'm up next, so you'll have some competition." "They bring us out here so they can hear the sound of the sea." "I hate this stuff, never done it before." "I do it all the time." "It's just no-one normally cares." "Except my mum." "It's the only time she believes I'm a real priest." "That's parents for you." "Yeah." "Have you got family here?" "No." "Melbourne." "Worrying about me." "Wasn't there a guy who used to run the Traders with you?" "My partner." "Ex-partner." "Business partner?" "Everything partner." "Yeah, here's what I've learned." "Don't buy a hotel with a dickhead." "Good advice." "Paul's letter to the Corinthians says much the same." "You're funny." "Never met a funny vicar before." "Have you seen the Herald today?" "Yeah." "Think it's him?" "I can't believe it would be." "He's a bit weird, though, you've got to admit." "We all have our foibles." "Reverend?" "Oh, I'm up." "Andy!" "Oh, shit, I slept in!" "You are gonna use the back entrance?" "You really are one dirty girl." "No, when you leave." "Go out the back." "Yes, right." "Sorry." "I don't want any small-town gossip." "But... you know, it was... what we..." "You know, it was nice." "You mean the sex?" "Yes, the sex that we had for quite a while." "It was all right, wasn't it?" "You really are quite needy, Olly." "Always wanting affirmation." "Has anyone told you that?" "I just like good feedback." "The sex was good." "Great." "No, just good." "Happy to give it another go?" "Maybe." "Hey, I was just wondering." "You know that boat that the police found?" "How would you get out that far?" "Would you row?" "Do you need a motor?" "When did you have time to wonder about that?" "Do you know or not?" "We could see if you er... if you call me later." "So is it back entrance?" "Out." "And shut the bloody door." "This isn't what we wrote." "Yeah, tell everyone." "They boycott his shop, nobody's to go near him." "Get off the phone now." "Yep, OK." "Bye." "Where's Mum?" "Went out for a run first thing." "Again." "That's all she does now." "Can't she bear to be with us?" "It's her way of coping." "Now, listen to me." "I know Jack Marshall and he's not what they're calling him in there." "He's been in prison, Gran." "He saw Danny every day." "Plenty of people saw him every day." "Jack Marshall wouldn't hurt a fly." "He had sex with a kid." "You don't know the full details." "You believe everything you read." "You told us to go with the Herald." "Now you're saying we can't believe them." "Not when they're accusing people I know." "We wait and see what the police do." "The police?" "We learn more from the papers than from the police." "I'm not sure that's fair." "Pete, what is the point of you?" "You're just getting fat off all the toast that we make you!" "That's enough." "I'm right, though." "They haven't got a clue." "They take Dad in for questioning while Jack is a paedophile." "Stop talking like that." "Just cos you have a soft spot for him, doesn't mean the rest of us are blind." "How credible is Jack Marshall as a suspect?" "Strong links to Danny, he doesn't have an alibi for the night." "He had Danny's phone in his possession." "Who else is a possible?" "The Dad" " Mark." "Very quick to lie about where he was." "Had an alibi all set to go." "Even now there's still two hours missing from his alibi." "He used to hit Danny, according to Miller's son." "Occasionally, not all the time." "Think it's possible?" "Maybe." "I don't know." "You've changed your tune." "Then there's Paul Coates - local vicar, no alibi." "Taught Danny about computers." "Er... church overlooks the back of the Latimer house." "We're running background." "Tread carefully." "We can do without offending the Church." "Better hope it's not him, then." "You are a year behind your projections with no sign of an upturn." "And your... income forecast compared with your real income..." "Stinks, right?" "You've seen what the weather's been like and now..." "The bank are demanding a repayment of ten grand within 42 days or they repossess." "Beth?" "Beth, I didn't expect to see you." "Do you want a drink?" "What?" "OK, that's enough." "For Christ's sake!" "All right, that's enough." "Enough." "I'm doing your windows next." "Stop throwing crisps." "Stop throwing..." "I've got five flavours to get through." "I'm sorry, it was a mistake." "Too right it was." "My husband!" "Cos I will nail you to the floor before I let you wreck 15 years of my life!" "I am sorry." "If we'd known what was gonna..." "Don't you dare." "Don't you dare bring that into it." "Come near my family again and I'll break your fucking face." "OK." "Understood." "Let's get some air." "Know what she did?" "I'm getting the gist." "That's not my article." "You rewrote the whole bloody thing, stoked it up." "Made it all emotive." "You loaded it against him." "'I restructured it so it had enough bite for you to get a front-page byline." "What are you complaining about?" "'" "It's a misrepresentation." "People here will think I wrote that." "'Take your head out of your backside and get more on Jack Marshall." "What's his history?" "What do his neighbours think of him?" "You're ahead of the pack." "Keep going.'" "You could make a complaint to them." "Would that stop them?" "Honestly?" "No." "But... if you co-operate with us a bit more we can clear you of all suspicion." "You think I haven't heard that before?" ""Co-operate and we'll make it all right." Next thing I'm being charged." "All I want is to get to the truth of Danny Latimer's death." "I used to be in the Sea Brigade." "Jack Marshall threw me out." "You're kidding?" "Why?" "He was always wanting hugs from the boys." "And he'd love us getting in our trunks when it was hot." "That's when he'd come round, put his arm on our shoulder." "I was like, "No, thanks, mate." "No hugs from me."" "Hm... didn't like me after that." "Kept asking what was wrong with me." "Why are you looking at me like that?" "I need this corroborated." "I can't just take your word for it." "Show her." "I had him do a list." "I knew you'd ask." "Er..." "Three lads who were there the same time as I was." "Numbers all there." "You came prepared." "Are you sure about this?" "We all know what he's like." "And the police are doing nothing." "When we've finished here you need to put this in a statement to the police." "But you're gonna use it?" "Everyone's gonna know what Jack did." "You said if I ever needed anything..." "Yeah, of course." "People need to know." "I wanted to apologise." "Not to her - to you." "I can't believe I did it." "I can" " I can believe it." "God, it felt good." "Do you think I'll have to pay her?" "I'm not paying her." "She can whistle for that." "Beth." "Have you thought about maybe seeing a bereavement counsellor?" "I don't want to see a counsellor." "A counsellor will want me to stop being angry." "I need my anger." "It's all I've got." "Mark knows about the pregnancy." "He said I had to keep it." "I think he's right." "Well, if the men think that's what's best let's do it." "I hate it... this thing growing inside me." "I don't want it." "It's not right." "Danny should be growing." "I'm not done with him." "I want him." "I had one job as his mum - get him ready for the world." "Set him up to meet it and be the best he could be, and I failed him." "I let him down." "No, you didn't." "He was taken." "Why?" "Why did your God create him and then take him back?" "I don't know." "Some people think that he takes those he loves the most first." "Pretty bloody selfish God." "I don't know the reasons." "I just know that this is the life we have and we have to accept that." "Why?" "Why should I accept this?" "What did I do wrong?" "Why am I being punished?" "I don't know." "I don't know." "I wish I did." "Yeah!" "Everybody I know is stopping their kids from doing their paper round." "Andy's getting up a petition - get him chucked out of the Sea Brigade." "Maybe we should wait until we know a bit more." " What if it's too late by then?" " Whee!" "You don't know it's Jack Marshall." "You don't know it ain't." "Hello, boy." "He likes you." "Don't normally like kids." "What's his name?" "Vince." "Are you not playing?" "Nah." "Spent all my money." "You can take him for a walk sometime if you like." "Really?" "I'm over at the caravan park." "Three back from the beach." "Number three on the door." "You can knock for him whenever you want." "OK." "What's your name?" "Tom..." "Miller." "Nice to meet you, Tom." "I'm Susan." "Right, then." "Come on." "Up you get." "Good boy." "Good boy." "Three back from the beach." "Jack!" "Jack!" "Did this one get rewritten too?" "No, that's all me." "It's all true." "Dean and Chloe came to us." "Well, her" " Karen." "No wonder your boss couldn't resist it." "It's a good story." "I wish it wasn't." "You've brought a shit-fight frenzy down on us now." "Not me." "Jack Marshall." "Jack, Jack!" "Back you go, gents." "How is this allowed to happen?" "I need police protection." "I'm under siege." "Has anyone threatened you?" "Physically intimidated you?" "Did you not see that lot?" "I'm under siege." "Just stay inside." "Bit of luck it will all abate soon enough." "Stay inside?" "That's it?" "You get 'em away from here." "I've a shop to run." "Well, not today." "You're doing this deliberately." "Seeing if I'll crack." "You've got me marked and nothing will make any difference." "We don't work like that." "But you have kept things back from us." "I..." "I was a music teacher." "She was a pupil." "No boys involved." "A girl." "I'm sure you can fill in the gaps." "You had sex with a pupil?" "I had a relationship." "Who made the first move?" "It was a mutual attraction." "And you had sex how many times?" "You think I put notches on my bedpost?" "Who told the police?" "Her father." "I was made an example of." "Served a year." "I was lucky to make it out alive." "She was 15 years and 11 months." "Another four weeks and one day and nothing would have been amiss." "I served my time." "For God's sake." "You should have told us this, when we first asked." "It was nobody's business but mine." "Did you have any contact with the girl after you were released?" "I married her, the week after I was released." "She was 17, I was 40." "What are you doing to protect Jack?" "Why is it your business?" "He's my parishioner." "He's terrified." "We've been over to him." "We're trying to keep the press at bay." "You're not doing a good job." "There is an innocent man being hounded and you need to do something about it." "You're certain he's innocent, are you?" "You're certain he's not?" "Your concern's noted." "What Marshall said doesn't alter the fact." "He has a conviction, and is a suspect." "We can't be distracted by him or this press." "We persevere with evidence." "Are we on?" "Yes." "Four similar cigarette butts all within three feet of one another, within four feet of where the boy's body was found." "What makes them special?" "Timing." "If they'd been there more than a few hours earlier they'd have been washed away by the tide." "But there's no traces of tide water on them." "They were left there that morning about the same time the body was." "Is that a common brand?" "High tar." "It's quite unusual these days." "If they were bought locally, you might be in with a shout of people remembering the purchaser." "Four cigarettes?" "What's the matter?" "All that way to drop off a body and then stand and smoke." "Doesn't make sense." "The important thing is, who smokes them?" "You can't live without me, can you?" "I ain't staying." "There's things happening that I need to see to." "So I want you to take that and go." "What's that?" "500 quid." "500?" "Is that what I'm worth?" "It's all I could get." "You see that van?" "I got a crossbow in that van." "I ain't messing about." "We need to find a way of working this out... together." "Who's the boy I saw you with last night?" "And don't mess me about, Chloe, cos we are way beyond that in this house now." "His name's Dean." "Dean." "Why didn't you tell us you had a boyfriend?" "Like the last two times?" "How old is he?" "Do we have to do this now?" "Yes, we do." "I'm sick of not knowing things." "17." "17?" "And he's going out with a 15-year-old?" "Yes." "Just like you did with Mum." "Don't get smart with me." "Just ask me, Dad." "Fine!" "Are you having sex with him?" "Yes!" "We use condoms, which is more than you and Mum did." "I'm not having you talk to me like that, Chloe." "I got you out of a police cell!" "I saw how you and Becca Fisher were looking at each other." "Want to talk about that too?" "You flirting in front of my eyes whilst I was doing shifts at the Traders and you..." "Sea Brigade, Jack Marshall." "I got a call from one of the other dads." "They're rounding up a posse to get him." "Request for backup at Sea Brigade hall." "Paedo!" "All right, lads, let's not be daft here." "We're here to talk with Jack." "There's no meeting here tonight." "No boys are coming here, Jack." "We don't want you near our kids." "We don't feel safe with that." "You don't have kids, Nigel." "You didn't even get a badge for knots." "Yeah?" "I can speak for those that do." "Not really, Nige." "All right, boys." "Criminal!" "Mate." "Get away, come on." "Get back!" "You don't need to be involved." "Get back!" "You're a dead man!" "Do it, Mark." "All right, Nige." "A lot of people saying a lot of stuff about you, Jack." "I'm not what they're calling me and..." "I didn't go near your boy." "You had Dan's phone." "He left it in the bottom of his delivery bag, I swear." "You've been to prison, though, ain't you?" "Hey?" "There was a girl." "We had an affair." "She was 15, nearly 16." "Same age as Beth when you met her." "Mark." "We married, we had a son together." "Yeah, where is he now, then?" "Why ain't he with you now?" "He died, aged six." "Car accident." "She was driving." "The grief ripped us apart, so I came here." "Fresh start." "They're saying I wanted to hug the boys because I'm a paedophile." "It was never that." "I missed my boy." "I missed touching him, holding him." "I miss my boy every day." "What sort of world is this, Mark, where it's wrong for a man to seek affection?" "I would never harm Danny." "We're the same, Mark." "No parent should outlive their child." "Your boy, he... he was a good boy." "Mark, you OK?" " Yeah." "Go home, boys." " What's he saying?" "Go home now!" "The lot of you!" "You're dead, mate." "Dead!" "Come on." "You should get away from here, Jack." "It's not safe." "This is my home now." "People have made up their minds." "If you want to stay safe I'd get as far away from here as you can." "Why down here?" "I thought we'd be going to the harbour." "No, it's a dry dock." "Posh name for "we keep it here"." "How come you've got a boat, anyway?" "Er... it was my dad's." "And then he left a few years ago." "We used to go out in it, but after he went I never fancied it so much." "How did your mum cope when he left?" "She didn't." "Which one is it?" "It's not here." "It's gone." "When did you last see the boat?" "Eight weeks ago." "The whole thing?" "The motor and everything." "Why'd you leave the motor on it?" "Dad always did." "And I always told him not to." "Do you think it could be the boat that was burned?" "It's late, Oliver." "Thank you for reporting it." "I've given a picture to SOCO." "Leave it with me." "You can go now." "But if you find it was, can I have the story?" "Don't announce it, give it to me." "If was our boat - my boat." "Dad's boat." "Ellie?" "Oh, God, Brian, I just want to go home." "That picture you got of the boat it's a match with what we have." "The colour, the moulding - it could be the one." "We'll confirm." "Right." "Good." "Sort of." "And we got Danny's DNA on the burnt boat, so if it's a match we're there, we got it." "OK." "Listen." "Do you fancy a drink one night?" "Sorry, I'm married, Brian." "That's an issue, is it?" "Happily married, Brian." "Oh." "OK." "Fair enough." "Only lots of people aren't, are they?" "I am." "Good." "Well, there we go." "Do you need anything from the kitchen?" "A cup of tea or..." "No, I'm fine." "Thanks, though." "Erm... the burned boat." "Bit weird." "Erm... the boat itself was my ex-brother-in-law's." "Yeah, I know." "Bit of a surprise, Olly's dad." "He's been gone a while." "Left my sister a couple of years ago." "The boat that was burned, that has Danny's DNA on it, was your brother's?" "Yeah." "It was just left, just off the beach, with the motor chained to it." "I mean, anyone could have taken it, just use bolt cutters." "Who knew it was there?" "Everyone did." "It wasn't a secret." "Your son Tom, did he know?" "Yeah." "Why?" "Did Danny?" "I don't know." "All right, well, see if forensics can get any other prints or DNA off the shards, match them against all the elimination prints." "Oh, and erm... funny thing." "I had to tell someone." "Erm..." "SOCO Brian just asked me out." "Brian?" "Why would he do that?" "Thanks a lot." "You're married." "I told him that, but it didn't seem to faze him." "Flattering?" "Well, sort of." "But it's SOCO, they've had their hands everywhere." "Dirty Brian." "Yeah." "Sir, do you think we'll get them, the killer?" "We will." "You didn't on Sandbrook." "How long you been waiting to bring that up?" "I haven't." "Sandbrook was different." "Did you get it wrong?" "Wow." "You really have been bottling this up." "You think you've been lumbered with a senior office not fit for purpose?" "I don't know." "It all got hushed up." "I didn't want that." "A mistake was made." "A big mistake." "By you?" "I don't want to talk about it." "These are my friends, people I've known all my life." "We can't let them down." "We won't." "'.." "UK Border Agency is described as a troubled organisation which will take years to turn round." "People who have abused their position in this country to commit offences and who are...'" "Can we not listen to the news?" "You know I love you, Beth." "I know you say it." "Since you've been caught out." "Did Danny know about you and Becca?" "No." "No, he didn't." "I swear." "Beth, please." "Why don't we make an agreement, just for tonight, eh?" "No bickering and no silences." "Let's just find something else." "Hi." "Hi." "I saw you come in, I know it's late." "You don't mind, do you?" "No, it's fine." "Come in." "So, here's an issue." "I've just got journalists and press photographers asking me about rooms, and I know you don't want to bump into them in the corridor and I wouldn't normally ask..." "It's just that my usual holiday bookings, they've cancelled, and I'm not gonna make it to next spring at this rate, so..." "What are you asking me?" "I wanted to suggest a deal." "You give me a pass on the journalists and I will charge the police half the usual rate for your room." "You like my company that much?" "I've had worse guests." "It must be a bloody hard job running this place." "You have no idea." "How do you relax?" "I have my ways." "Hm." "Would you..." "Do you want to relax a bit with me, here?" "Tonight?" "God, no!" "No, I mean, it's not what I meant." "Good." "Sorry." "It's not that I wouldn't, or that you're..." "No, no." "Of course." "It's just..." "I'd..." "I'd be worried." "Worried?" "That you'd... collapse on me." "Right." "Thanks." "I'm really sorry about the misunderstanding." "Yeah..." "He was obsessed with rockets, wasn't he?" "Mm-hm."

"Counselor!" "I've got him!" "Down!" "You come down!" "Down for good!" "Forgive this early intrusion." "How are you?" "I am a great admirer of yours." "Honored to meet you." "May I?" "Can I use your typewriter, sir?" "Your arm, please." "Relax it." " Your age?" " 43." "So, what are you cooking up?" "Another film without hope?" " First time taking the cure?" " Yes." "Take a deep breath." "Come in." " I'm sorry." "I'll come back later." " No, do come in." "Breathe in." "Deeper." "Good morning..." "May I smoke?" "Cough." "Breathe in." " You've already read it?" " Yes." "Breathe." "And... what do you think?" "Well, I made some notes, but we'll talk later." "Your system is a bit worn out." "You may get dressed now." "Nice looking girl." "American, right?" "You've got some fine merchandise there." "This treatment will do you good, you'll see." "Nurse. 300 ml of holy water, 3 doses to be taken at 15 minute intervals, on an empty stomach." " Mud bath every other day..." " What time is it?" "After the mud bath, ten minutes in the mineral water as prescribed..." " I'll wait for you at the spring." " Yes, thank you." "Sir!" "Sir, your glass." "0ver here." "You want to talk about the film?" " Yes, of course." "Fine." "Just tell me if you'd like the producer to see my report." "Frankly, I wouldn't want to be the one to cause you any trouble." "No, don't worry." "I'm the one who called you in." "0n first reading it's evident that the film lacks a problematic, or a philosophical premise..." "Would you like to sit down?" "...making the film a series of gratuitous episodes, perhaps amusing for their ambiguous realism." "0ne wonders what the authors are trying to say..." "Are they trying to make us think?" "To scare us?" "From the start, the action reveals a poverty of poetic inspiration." "Forgive me, but this might be the definitive proof that cinema is 50 years behind all other arts." "The subject doesn't even have the merits of an 'avant garde' film, but it has all the shortcomings." "Here, my notes." "I doubt they will be helpful." "It's still a mystery that you'd think of me for a collaboration that, frankly, I don't think can work." "No, no. 0n the contrary." "You'll be most helpful." "You see, the film..." "I really want to make this film." "I postponed the shoot for two weeks because..." "Mezzabotta!" "Pardon me." "Mezzabotta!" "Mario!" "You're here too?" "Guido!" "What happened to you!" "Hey, big Guido, how are you?" "You've sprouted quite a few white hairs, old Snaporaz!" "Are you drinking that stuff?" "It's bad for you." "They said my liver is, well..." "And you, what's your treatment?" "Just a second..." "Gloria!" " Your daughter." "She's all grown up." " No, she's not my daughter." "Cruel bees, sucking all the life from these poor flowers." " Darling, this is my friend..." " I'm sorry." "My shoes..." "Gloria." "Gloria Morin." " Nice to meet you." "Fine, thank you." "I know all about you." "Pupi always, always tells me." "We even had a big fight when I was very critical of your last film." "That's not true." "You liked it a lot." "Let's go for a drink." "Let's go." "And you, are you here alone?" "And your wife?" " Yes, I'm alone." " Better that way..." "Well, I mean, better in general..." "You heard about Tina and me?" " Tina?" "We're waiting for an annulment." "That's why we're here together." "We're engaged." "Congratulations." "Well, big Guido." "What are you working on?" "Something good?" "Sure is the ideal place to do some thinking." "Daumier, the author, Miss..." "Pardon me, what is your name?" " Gloria." " Gloria Morin." "Nice to meet you." "I am a big admirer of yours." "I'm flattered." "Are you an actress?" "Did I see your photo somewhere?" "An actress." "Yes, well..." "I have ambitions in that area." "Actually enormous ambitions, but that's all, for the moment." "She's got a degree in philosophy." "Allow me." "Mario Mezzabotta." " Nice to meet you." "I don't have a degree." "I'm doing my thesis." "It's a bit different." " And the subject?" " A difficult one." "The loneliness of modern man in contemporary theater." "Interesting subject." "Right, Professor?" "And what is the meaning of the capricious apparitions of the girl of the spring?" "An offer of purity?" "Of warmth to the protagonist?" "Of all your story's overabundant symbols, this is the worst..." "She didn't make it." "Better that way." " Yack!" "How are you?" " Not too bad." " Did anybody recognize you?" " I don't think so." "You brought all that luggage?" "It's just five suitcases." "Gowns occupy so much space." "I brought one... you'll see." "Did you get it all?" "Carla, it's quiet here at night." "There's nothing going on." "But it's a fashionable spa." "There must be some fashion shows, some trendy clubs, even at our hotel." "Have you been behaving?" " Yes, yes." "Actually..." "I couldn't get you a room in my hotel, and besides it's full of people who know me." "So, I found someplace else." "A perfect hotel..." "Very pretty, you know..." " But why?" " And how's this guy?" " Sgulp?" "Great." "You look a little pale." "How come?" "See, the hotel is right here." "Signora, guests!" "See." "Like I told you." "It's not... but it's very quiet." "If you're hungry," "I'll get them to bring a couple of sandwiches." "It feels a little sad here." " No, it's typical!" "Besides I'm hungry." "You had lunch, but I didn't." "Hello, Sir." "How's the solitaire coming along?" "Everything's ready, the room, the bathroom." "Rest assured." "Signora will feel at home." "Yes, thank you." "You wouldn't have anything ready for lunch?" " The restroom, please?" " It's over there." "I'll see to it personally." "Trains, such horrible things." "They leave your hands so black." "Are you happy I'm here?" " Yes." " Really happy or a little happy?" " Very happy." "Hmm." "Smack!" "Mm, what a nice smell!" "Guido, I thought this black velvet was going to wrinkle." " Really?" "Good, good." " But no." "Not a wrinkle." "Even after a three-hour trip." "You didn't even tell me you like it." "Do you like it?" "Such a beautiful lady!" "So refined." "That thing she has on her head..." "What is it?" "Ploosh?" " Plush, plush." " Ah, ploosh." "I looked around for it like crazy." "I was quite desperate." "But you know me." "When Carla makes up her mind..." " Snarp!" " Sgulp!" "I read a good Donald Duck last week..." "There was a dinosaur..." " Here she is, my sweet-buns." " Be good, a dinosaur..." "Guido be good." "What do you want to do now?" "Are you sure you've been behaving?" " Sure, why?" "Anyway, now sweet-buns is hungry." "0h, my wedding ring." "Listen, Guido." "That little thing you promised me..." "What little thing?" "Now I bet she brings up her husband again." "You don't think so?" "You'll see, old Snaporaz." "My poor Luigi doesn't seem happy at all." "You see, my husband is not the confident type." "He gets depressed." "He's not stupid, you know." "He's actually very clever..." "It's so hot here!" "He knows all of Roman history by heart." "He just needs a push." "He's still working at the fuel company, same salary." "Really?" "Be good and put down my purse." "You'll break it." "I love that little purse." "He gave it to me." "Why don't you find him a job?" "You know so many people." "You've promised it so many times." "I even had a dream about it." "I dreamed that you did find him a job, but he'd lost his mind and killed us both." " Who?" " You and me!" "Know where we were?" "In that little street, Via della Croce, where I bought you the same tie your wife did." "Do you remember?" "And I never knew if you were wearing hers or mine." "We were there on a cot, in each other's arms, naked." "And he came in and he killed us both with a broom!" " Draw the blinds more." " Yes." "That's it." "Now go into the corridor for a minute, then pretend you've come to the wrong room and found a stranger." "0h, that's good." "We've never done this one." "Hold it there." "Let me look at you." "No." "No." "Your make-up needs to be more, more..." " More what?" " More like a slut!" "Give me your eyeliner." " Nice lampshade." " Yes, yes." " I'd like one for my place." " Don't move." "What is this hotel called?" "The Railway Hotel." "I want to write to my husband so he'll send me an express letter right away." "He writes such nice letters." "I'll let you read them." " Fine, but keep still..." "Make a slutty face." "Go out in the corridor." " So, it's a part I have to play." " Yes." "Who do you think I am?" "0ne of your actresses?" "You don't think I could be one of them?" "Not me." "I wouldn't want to lead that life." "I like staying home." "Go on, get out." "I'm sleeping now." "Tell me." "If I were really to do something like this, would you be jealous?" "Why?" "Would you really?" "Who knows?" " May I get you something?" " No, I just came out on a whim." " Would you like me to run you a bath?" " No, I was just..." " A glass of water, perhaps?" " No, thank you." "What did she want?" "What did she say?" "The owner, she wanted to give me a glass of water." "Come here." "Come." "0pen up the sheet." " Guido, do you love me a little?" " Yes, yes." "Is that you, Mama?" "So many tears, my son, so many tears." "Papa, wait!" "Don't go." "We talked so little." "Listen Papa, I have so many questions." "I cannot answer them yet." "See the ceiling here?" "It's so low." "I would have liked it higher." "It's ugly, my son, ugly." "I would have liked it different." "Couldn't you take care of it?" "You used to draw so well." "I'd like... 0h, the Commendatore, he shouldn't have bothered." " Hello." " Respects." "He's got very little time." "Hi." "How is he doing, this son of mine?" "Careful." "Don't let him move you." "He isn't doing well?" "How come?" "It is so hard, realizing that one has made such huge mistakes." "But I..." "Mother prepared you a little something." "A little cheese and two peaches." "Don't worry about me." "Sure, this place gets a little lonely, but your mother comes every day." "She keeps me company, you know." "And keeps everything in order." "A little decorum is always necessary." "That's how we were brought up." "And with your wife, Luisa... all fine?" "Yes." "Luisa..." "You two together have been my joy." "Goodbye, son..." "What is this place?" "Do you like it here?" "I haven't figured it out yet." "But it's going much better." "At first, you see, at first..." "Guido!" "I do my best." "What more can I do?" "Poor Guido, you must be tired." "Shall we go home?" "I'm Luisa, your wife." "Don't you recognize me?" "What are you thinking about?" " Hello." " Hello." "Good afternoon." "Guido!" "In a few days, I'll get you an introduction so you can get all the advice you need." "Nice mystical figure." "Right?" "I brought you the three old men." "0ne is a Russian, another is a retired general..." "What old men?" "The ones for the role of the Father." "Cover me, Cesarino..." "Come here, buffoon." "How are you?" "So nice to see you, Super Tarzan!" " I called you six times." " Yes, yes I know." " It's about Claudia's script." " So?" "I thought about mailing it to you." "In fact, I've already mailed it." " Really?" "You've still got your looks." "Why don't you go back to acting?" "I was up all night with an idea for the spaceship." "Why don't we make the upper story..." "Conocchia, don't take my arm!" "I hate it!" "And wear a jacket!" "Now I need to wear a jacket to talk to you..." "How are you?" "How was your trip?" "Good." "It's been an hour..." "What a blinding vision!" "Beautiful!" " Really?" " Yes." "You're always telling me I'm 'bellissima' but you never tell me about my part." "How was my screen test?" " Great, or you wouldn't be here." "They told me I have to look motherly and eat a lot of pasta." "I should gain six pounds." "Is this all?" "See?" "You already know more than I do." "You are the author." "You should be telling me something." " What should this lady do?" " What?" "Agostini!" "I don't want to bother you." "The hotel is grand, the whisky, excellent." "But I have three questions." "Yes, yes, later." "What is it?" "Ah, yes, yes." "Pardon me." "Agostini, we should..." "I just didn't feel like talking to that guy." "Claudia is getting offers from all over the world." "I can't keep her waiting." "Give her something." "Do you have a script, a few pages, an idea?" "Does Claudia realize that this might be a great part?" "Perhaps the best she's ever played?" "I'll explain..." "I'm telling you as a friend, you're gonna lose her." " You want to see the old men or not?" " Are you crazy?" "We're ready..." "What?" " The old men." " Where are they?" " Here." "Signora Carla called." "She doesn't want to stay in that hotel." "It's ugly." "She's right." " What can I do?" "Bring her here?" "I'll call the old men." "Sorry, I wanted to introduce you to my little wife." "Thrilled." "She writes too." "She's a columnist for some ladies' magazines." "She's got a few questions for you." "My readers go crazy for romance." "Could you tell me something about your love life?" "Here they are." "Say hello to the Dottore." "Step down." "You too, General." " How old are you?" " 70." " And you?" " 64." " And you?" " 68." "They aren't old enough." "What?" "This one has one foot in the grave." "Next time I'll get three corpses." "You asked for a pathetic type..." "This one makes you wanna cry the minute you see him." "Hello, Commendatore." "If you kneel, what do I do?" "Get up or you'll hurt yourself." "How are you, little Guido?" "Hello, Commendatore." "We took a helicopter." "This one screamed the whole way." "Where's the swimming pool?" "We haven't even checked in." "Shut up!" "Has the treatment helped?" " Yes." " Feeling better?" "Here." " What is it?" "Just a token." " You're always giving me presents." " It's just like mine." "It doesn't need winding." "A watch!" "A little watch, everyone!" " So, are your ideas any clearer now?" " Yes, I really think so." "We've got the Americans..." "I've seen her passport." "She's 52 years old?" "Ah, she's a little girl." "Good evening, signora." "And who are you, darling?" "Mr. Director, another little question..." "He wants to know the relationship between Catholicism and Marxism." "Thank you, I got it." "You want to know about my political affiliation." "As an honest man, and all of you Italians are, you should be able to answer me." "Is Italy an essentially Catholic country?" "Yes, it is!" "You shut up and eat your ice-cream." "It's the estimate for the spaceship." "I need to talk to you later, face to face," "I'm at the end of my rope." "This is a madhouse!" "Fine, we'll discuss it later." "What was that about your cholesterol?" "...only one great writer." "The early Fitzgerald." "Then his writing became an orgy of pragmatism or brutal realism." "What does Left or Right mean?" "You're such an optimist to believe that in a world this confused and chaotic there are people so lucid as to belong exclusively to the Left or the Right." "The Americans have this new theory about cholesterol..." " Is your ice-cream good?" " Very good." "Could you say approximately how many scenes she'll be in?" "What?" " How many scenes?" " Five." "0nly five." "Maybe six, or even seven." "Good evening." "Hi, Guido." "The Ambassador's got his eye on signora." "So?" " I thought you'd want to know." " Good, now I know." " Do you want me to ask her to dance?" " Yes, ask her." "Dear friends there's only one truth..." "But I am so anxious to know, to understand my character." "I need to coexist with my character for a while before shooting..." "The lady says she needs to know her character." "I need to get inside her skin, her ideas, or I'll fail." "Hasn't the Maestro explained the part yet?" " No." " I am sorry, dear lady." "I don't have such information." "I'm only the producer." "Guido, isn't it true that I know nothing?" " Right." "Not a thing." "And now three days of rest." "They look like glass." "The first cherries of spring." "Thanks." "And for Guido?" "Mario Mezzabotta, all 200 pounds of him." "Shall we take a little walk?" "I know..." "Naturally, you think I've lost it." "Yes." " I'm 30 years her senior." "So what?" " It's all right." "I may be the fool, the old imbecile, the one who foots the bill." "So what?" "Could you create something important, beautiful and real on a commission?" "For instance, if the Pope asked you?" "Yes, yes." "I'll think about it." "Excuse me." "Listen, I'm not deluding myself." "Maybe she's only with me for the money." "Actually, that's certainly it." "But I've never felt closer to anybody in my life." "Just look at her." "She's pretty, charming, intelligent." "She has it all. 0nly for the money?" "But there are so many rich young men around these days, loads of them." "It's clear." "She cares for you." "Right." "And she hasn't tried to pressure me." "I made up my mind rationally." "The poor thing has never even mentioned my wife, my family, never a reproach." "How did you meet her?" "In London." "She was in school with my daughter." "How many years have you been married?" "Many. 31." "And your wife..." "My wife took it really badly." "She hates her." "While Gloria, poor thing, is fond of her." "So spell it out." "I am a fool!" "There must be a shooting schedule." "Dates." "0therwise we're off to Germany." "We have other offers." "Will you be leaving me in the dark 'til the end?" "You look like a little snail." " What is a little snail?" " Une petite escargot." "Can you hear the voice of the springs?" "The Romans used to call it 'Happy Waters. '" "Maya, let's entertain these bores." "May I?" "Are you ready, Maya?" "What am I holding?" "A velvet purse." " And inside?" " A white handkerchief." "A red one." " No drugs, I hope." " No, it's aspirin." " A purse." " Is there any money in it?" "2,725 lire." "And this lady here." "What is she thinking?" "No dirty thoughts, I hope." "Just think about something." "About what?" "Whatever you like." "Are you thinking?" "Yes." "I'd like to live another 100 years." "Best of luck!" "And what is in this pretty lady's head?" "Let me be." "May I think about someone?" "Yes." "Go ahead, Lady!" "Forget about it." "I'm ashamed." "What about?" "Can I really think of a person?" "I'd be afraid to have my thoughts read." "Don't you worry darling, no risk there." "Would you like to leave?" "It's cold." "A little kiss and a big slap." "Is that right?" "Ladies and gentlemen, you're thinking, 'What a trickster. '" "Well, sorry to disappoint you, but there's no trick." "And it isn't just a coincidence." "It's an exceptional example of magnetic fields and telepathy." "I transmit your thoughts to Mlle. Maya." "You!" "Do you believe you can hide your thoughts?" "Please, leave her alone." "Don't insist." "Thoughts are sacred." "See, it's all a game." "Maya, are you ready?" "Just a moment, could we know what you gentlemen are thinking?" "You for instance." "What are you thinking?" "What else?" "My director." "My cross and my delight." " How are you?" " Fine." "And you?" "It has been quite a while... years!" "Unfortunately yes, my dear." "Just a moment." "You're famous now." "Cut it out." "Just tell me what's your trick?" "Well, it's partly a trick, but part of it is real." "I don't know how, but it happens." " Can you transmit anything?" "Anything." "Except for her to get lost." " Do you want to try?" " Yes." "Wait." "I bet now, with you, it won't work." "I don't understand." "I can't repeat..." "Asa... nisi... masa?" "Is this right?" " Right?" " Yes." "But what does it mean?" "Guido, come here!" "Where are you?" "Don't be spoiled!" "What a wonder!" "I don't want to take a bath, I don't want to..." "Come here..." "let me catch you?" "I know what that rascal wants." "He wants to be carried by his sweetheart, doesn't he, the strapping lad." "Come here." "Come here." "He never wants to take the wine bath, the naughty boy." "Don't you know that if you do you'll grow into a strong man?" "Guido is scared!" "Guido is scared!" "The Devil and damnation!" "Granny, granny!" "The wood is all wet this year." "This prowling cat is just like your grandfather." "Always on the prowl and only comes in for food." "Shame on you!" "Go to bed." "Last time I slammed the door in his face and left him outside for two days." "I could have married again and found a handsome man, rest assured, better than your grandfather." "What an idiot I am!" "I thought that if I took another husband, my first husband, whether in heaven or hell, wouldn't have waited." "Be quiet!" "Go to bed, children!" "Nanny, Claudio wet himself!" "What are you doing?" "Go to sleep." "You too, sleep." "Little Guido, get under the covers." "It's cold." "Be still." "Did you say your prayers?" "Aren't you a beautiful sticky bun?" "The most beautiful!" "Give me a kiss, too." "Who do you love best?" "Me?" "Is that right?" "You can't fool me." "I'm going to give you a spanking." "I can tell when you're pretending." "Sleep tight, little creatures." "Close your eyes." "Guido, don't close your eyes tonight!" "It's the night the portrait's eyes move." "You're not scared, are you?" "You must be quiet!" "Uncle Agostino will look into the corner and find the treasure!" "Don't be afraid, Guido!" "We'll be rich!" "Do you remember the spell?" "Asa Nisi Masa..." "Asa Nisi Masa... sh!" "Sir, you got two or three calls from Rome." "Your wife, I think." "Fine." "Get me the line." " Gino, get the gentleman the line." " All right." " This is for you." "Good night, sir." " Good night." "Marcella, that call from Rome, quickly." "No, I'm not offended." "There's only one thing that offends me." "You know me." "No." "I forgive him everything." "Let's have a little chat." "Sit beside me for a moment." "No, I'm going to bed." "I'm very tired and waiting for a call." "Would you like some?" "No, thank you." "I have such a headache." "Give me your hands." "No, sit down." "I have a healing fluid in my left hand." "I put it on my belly when it aches." "Take off your hat." "Is it any better?" "Yes, maybe." "Why do you look at me that way?" "0h, don't say I'm beautiful." "You make it sound insulting." "What's with you?" "I don't know." "I feel I made all the wrong decisions in my life and in my work." "Tell me, why do you enjoy torturing me?" "Torturing you?" "Talk to me as you would to an old friend." "I need to feel close to my director." "Did you see my last movie, the one shot in Belgrade?" "My character was a woman marked by the injuries of time, yet still desirable..." " Play "Mystification"." " I don't know it." "But yes..." "What a character... this woman..." "But..." "In whom people find protection and love." "I am this character." "I am like her in life and love." "That's why I'm so lonely." "And I have always forgiven everything in the man... the men, I love." " Sir, Rome on the line." " Thank you." "I am very sensual." "Wicked, too!" "Yes, yes, you're very close." "I'll be right back." "Rome on the line." "You may speak." "Hello, yes!" " Do you want Luisa?" " Yes." "Feeling guilty, you beast?" "This is Rossella." "Hi, Rossella." "How are you?" "Luisa was looking for me." "Where were you this time?" "Your rest cure?" "What an excuse..." "Here comes Luisa." "Guido, I called you twice." "Where were you?" "I know." "I'm sorry." "I was up in the production office." "We're working." "How are you?" "Not bad..." "And the treatment?" "Is it helping?" "Perhaps." "But, you know, I can't really rest." "And you?" "What are you doing?" "Having fun?" "The usual." "I'm with Rossella, Tilde, Enrico." "They were about to leave." "But are you having a good time?" "Did you meet anybody?" "Hardly." "It's a terrible bore." "But for my work, it's better this way." " Good night, Guido." " 'Night." "You've met no one you know?" "Are you always alone?" "0f course." "Really?" "Luisa, why don't you come visit?" "Just a short stay." "It's easy to get here." "When are you going to start shooting, you bore?" "I don't know." "Let me talk to Luisa, please." "So, should I come?" "Do you want me to?" "If you'd like to." "You could even bring a friend." "But would it make you happy?" "0f course, or I wouldn't ask you." " Sir, are you staying on?" " No." "When should I come?" "Whenever it's good for you." "Careful, I'll come." "Darling, I wouldn't have asked." "I'd love it..." "So long, and good night." "Bye, Mr. Alienated." "Good night." "Night, Guido." "Monsieur Guido, my agent thought..." "Just a second, madam." "I am going to step into the office so..." " Shit!" " It's in my best interest." "Tomorrow morning we'll discuss everything." "All right?" "Beams for the central structure:" "10,000." "Planks for steps: 260." "'Evening." "Do you need something?" "No, thanks." "Go on with your work." "What a well-behaved production team." "Hi." "0h, hi Eleonora." "2,350." "Corrugated iron." "Listen, Dottore, since you're here." "I called the pensione about the German, but she's gone." " You must find her." " She's in Paris with a circus." "Really?" "What should I do?" "What an honor, Dottore." "You've caught me with my pants down!" "Listen Guido." "About the farm... there's that..." "Ah, here." "Where's this place?" "It doesn't even have a note about the address, nothing!" "It's in the Prince's estate." " Who's in here?" " My little nieces." "Eva and Dina." "'Evening." "C'mon." "Let him take a look at you." "Perhaps he'll give you a little part." " Nice to meet you." " My pleasure." "Where are you from?" " Trieste." " Hurray for Italy!" "You've got a nice set up here, don't you?" "Tell him about my cousin." "Guido." "This one's cousin is six feet tall." "You should see her." "She might be good for the movie." "This one... you she-devil..." "It's true." "She's tall like me standing on the bed." "See?" "She's twice been voted Miss Nylon Stockings." "Is Guido in there?" "I'm coming in." "Sleep, Conocchia, sleep." "I'll see you tomorrow." "May I ask you a question?" "Go ahead." "My friend here says..." "you can't make a love story." " Shut up!" " She's right." "Should I wake you up in the morning, Guido?" "No, thanks." "0ur commander will never catch us unprepared." "This production crew never sleeps!" "Such a splitting headache." "What did I eat?" "They're always horsing around, but they're good guys." "Do you need anything, Guido?" "Is it a new idea?" "Do you have something to tell me?" "No, thank you, no." "Go back to bed." "I don't need anything." " Anything at all." " No, thank you." "Good night." "Good night my ass!" "Who can sleep here?" "How can I get any sleep?" "Conocchia, calm down." "Allow me." "I have been in this business for 30 years," "I've worked on movies you couldn't begin to imagine and I have never been afraid of anything!" "What are you shouting for, you crazy old man!" "There, you've said it now. 0ld." "Finally you've spat it out." "Conocchia is old." "What do you want?" "Get back inside." "You always keep me in the dark." "I never know what to do." "When to talk or when to shut up." "I don't want to bother you." "I don't want to know what this movie is about." " You want to keep it a secret?" "Go ahead." " Please, go back to bed." "But if I'm to help you out, as I've always done, and you were so happy then, you must tell me something!" "Tell me: get rid of the French woman... this is how I want the spaceship..." "tell me: go hang yourself, but do tell me something." "You've changed so much, Guido my friend." "What are you doing now?" "Crying?" "Aren't you ashamed?" "I'll be leaving tomorrow." "I'm quitting." "I don't want to be in your way." "You need some young blood." "Just be careful." "You're not the man you used to be, either." "A crisis of inspiration?" "And what if it weren't a passing one, my dear?" "What if it's the final collapse of a filthy liar with no flair or talent?" "Sgulp!" "Let's say you are purity itself." "But what the hell does it mean to be really honest?" "Didn't you hear what the Falcaccio said?" ""It's time to set all the symbols aside, the echoing of purity, innocence, escape."" "What is it you want then?" "Yes, this could be it." "There's a museum in the town, and you, the guard's daughter, grew up surrounded by images of ancient beauty..." "You're right." "I've come to stay forever." "I want to create order, I want to cleanse..." "I want to create order, I want to cleanse..." "Hello?" "They're asking for you from the Railway Hotel." "Fine." "I'll take it." "Hello?" "Who's that?" "Hello?" "Guido, I feel dreadful." "The mineral water made me sick." "I have a temperature." "Come." "Come here, immediately." "At this time of night?" "I can't." "I'll come tomorrow." "Come." "The poor thing, if you only knew how she was asking for you." "Here's the ice." " She's melting." "She's got at least 104." " Yes, fine." "Just go now." " Should I bring the peas?" " What peas?" "When she was delirious she asked for peas." "It's a good sign." "No, just forget about it." " If you need anything, let us know." " Yes, thanks." "Carla, is this the first time you've run such a high fever so suddenly?" "No." "It shoots up over nothing." "Then it goes away." "My husband is used to it." "It doesn't scare him" "No, don't get up." "Stay under the covers." " I'm so hot." "I'm thirsty." " Wait, I'll give it to you." "Here." "Drink slowly or you'll get all bloated!" " Is it day or night?" " What are you talking about?" "It's four o'clock in the afternoon." "Listen, now we'll wait for the doctor and see what he has to say." "It wouldn't be a bad idea to send your husband a telegram." "We can't take full responsibility for this." "Yes, he ought to know." "No, I don't want it to be over." "If he comes, he'll take me away." "And I have bought so many nice little dresses." "Why did you gorge on all that water?" "That's for sick people." "Are you sick?" "You're always ready when there's something to gorge on." "What else should I do?" "You're always leaving me here alone." "I drafted my will two years ago." "Anyway, it's not like you die sooner just because you make a will." "You see, I have a brother and a sister too, but I'd like the apartment to go to my husband." "It's mine, but how would the poor thing manage with out it... even if he does get remarried?" "Ah, these sheets!" "Listen, tell me the truth, the truth, you hear?" "Why do you stay with me?" "What can I tell the Cardinal tomorrow?" "Yes, I did read the little synopsis your producer sent us." "It's very interesting." "From a factual point of view though, the meeting between the protagonist and a prince of the church could not happen during a mud treatment as you describe it." "I'm sorry but it's absolutely not feasible." "A high prelate has his own private room." "True, but I was looking for an unconventional setting." "What do you mean?" "The protagonist received a Catholic upbringing and..." " Good morning." " Monsignor, this is Guido Anselmi." "Nice to meet you." "You must be the director." "Yes." "Is the subject of this film a religious one?" "Well, yes, in a manner of speaking." "As I was saying, the protagonist had a Catholic upbringing, like all of us, for that matter." "So, he has certain complexes, certain needs he can no longer repress." "And a prince of the church appears to him like the depositary of a truth that he can no longer accept although it still fascinates him." "So, he seeks contact, some help, perhaps a flash of understanding." "Saul in Damascus, right?" "Don't we all harbor such hopes?" "I do realize the idea might sound a bit superficial, gothic if you want..." "No, no, that's not it." "I don't believe cinema lends itself well to certain topics." "You mix sacred and profane love too casually." "Isn't that so?" " Maybe." "Yours is a great responsibility." "You can either corrupt or educate thousands of souls." "His Eminence will listen to you all the same." "You can ask him some questions." "Allow me to introduce you to the director." "Please, do sit down." "Please pardon the intrusion, Your Eminence." "I wouldn't presume," "But my producer is restless, perhaps he's right, and he insisted that I..." " Are you married?" " Yes." " Any children?" " Yes." "I mean, no." " How old are you?" " 43." " Do you hear this singing bird?" " Pardon?" " Do you know what it's called?" " No." "It's called Diomedeo." "The legend has it that when Diomedes died, all these little birds gathered and accompanied him to his grave singing a funeral lamentation." "Hear?" "It sounds like wailing." "Guido, Guido let's go see the Saraghina." "Coming." "Saraghina, dance the Rumba." "Here." "Shame on you, shame on you..." "It's a mortal sin, it's a mortal sin..." "I don't believe it, it can't be true..." "Look at your mother, look at her!" " Mother." " Stop there." "0h God, I'm so ashamed, so ashamed and hurt!" "But above all, during his whole life and in any place where he lived, the pious Luigi most abhorred any talk or dealing with women, whose presence he avoided in such a way that whoever saw him thought he had a natural dislike of them..." "Get down!" "Don't you know that Saraghina is the devil?" "No, I didn't." "I really did not." "So, what does it mean?" "It's a character inspired by your childhood memories." "No connection with a real critical conscience." "No, if you really want to make a polemical piece about the Italian Catholic consciousness, you would need a much higher degree of culture" "as well as inexorable logic and clarity." "Forgive me, but..." "your naiveté is a serious failing." "Your little memories, bathed in nostalgia, your inoffensive and fundamentally sentimental evocations are all the expressions of an accomplice..." ""How?" said the parish priest, "With a communist?"" "See?" "He didn't say: 'a man'." "Catholic conscience?" "Just think what Suetonious was at the time of the Caesars!" "No, your intention was to denounce, but you end up supporting it like an accomplice." "See?" "What confusion..." "what ambiguity!" "Dear Doctor, I'm very angry with you!" "But you don't need me anymore." "That isn't true, absolutely not true." "127: showers and mud treatments." "129: massages." "131: inhalations." "Hello, Commendatore." "You know, I've figured out what you're trying to talk about..." "Man's inner confusion." "But you've got to be clearer." "You have to make yourself understood." "0therwise what's the use of it?" "Let's go, Guido." "If what you have to say is interesting, it must be so for everybody." "How can you not care if audiences understand?" "I'm sorry, but that is arrogant and presumptuous" "Commendatore, let's go over there." "Inhale." "Breathe deeply." "Hi, Guido." "I've saved you a spot by the jet." "I went to the spaceship this morning and it's already gone up 50 meters..." "Mario." "Guido, his Eminence is waiting for you." "I repeat." "His Eminence is waiting." "Get dressed, quickly." "The Cardinal is already waiting." "Tell him everything." "Confess everything, don't hide anything and if you have any spare time just put in a good word for me too." "It's a golden opportunity, Guido." "The Cardinal!" "You're so lucky." "He can give dispensations for anything..." "Remember my divorce in Mexico City." "Get me my Mexican divorce." "He won't say no to you." "And above all show you're devout, throw yourself down on your knees, kiss his ring, cry, say you've repented." "Getting in their good graces means you can have anything you want in life." "Listen to me." "Careful, Guido." "We're in your hands." "You only get five minutes." "Your Eminence, I'm not happy." "Why should you be?" "That isn't your job." "Who told you we come into the world to be happy?" "0rigen says in his homilies:" "Extra Ecclesiam nulla salus." "There's no salvation outside the church." "Extra Ecclesiam, nemo salvatur." "No one will meet salvation, outside the church." "Salus extra Ecclesiam, non est." "There's no salvation outside the church." "Civitas dei." "He who isn't in the City of God, belongs to the City of the Devil." "Come see this great human phenomenon, the fakir Siva, who has broken all previous records... our experiment is controlled daily by European experts..." "20,000... 22... 23,000..." "and the lady in the back?" "25,000?" "Very well, the bid is 24,000." "Do I hear 30,000?" "Splendid. 35,000... 40,000." "Going, going... 0ne more offer?" "50,000, the bid is 50,000..." " When did you get here?" " Around five." "We went to the hotel, but you weren't there." "How are you?" " Fine, fine." "Who did you come with?" "With Rossella and Enrico." "Tilde's here too." "Good girl." "You actually came." "You look good, you know?" "Hey there, Rossa." "It's been a year since we last danced together." "Luisa, darling." "You're my treasure." "I'm so happy you came." "It's always the same." "As soon you're away..." "You feel lonely." "Is it true?" "Did you miss me?" " Yes." "You weren't enjoying the company of all these lovely ladies?" "So you've noticed them..." "No flings since you left?" "Poor Guido." "And your famous virility?" " You smell so good." " Do you like it?" "You're so light." "And how's your project going?" "Better?" "Well, I don't think I've had any major breakthroughs." "But what's it about?" "What are you up to this time?" "0h, sorry." "Listen, am I mistaken or has Enrico fallen for you?" "She's adorable, isn't she?" "Bravo." "Very good." "Evening signora." "So nice to have you here." "Thanks." "Maestro, we're at your service." "Should we get going?" "I'm coming." "My dear lady, tonight you'll see the depths of insanity a producer can fall into." "Frankly, I'd rather not shake hands with this one." "The moment she touches you she knows what you're thinking." "Who else could it be?" "Your guiding spirit." "Haven't you reached that stage of intimacy yet?" " May I introduce my sister?" " Ah, the beautiful little sister!" "You see the kind of women your director attracts?" "Delighted to meet you, Commendatore." "I just finished a screenplay about nuclear warfare." "0nly a producer of your courage could get it made." "Does the beautiful sorceress belong to your harem too?" "let's say I'm a sort of overseer." "So are you any better?" "Has your isolation helped?" "You do look better." " Really?" "No." "Just kidding." "Are you better?" "Actually, I was a little worried." "It was good of you to ask Luisa to come." "The very thought made her happy." "If you don't mind I'd rather not come." "My presence is futile." " Suit yourself." " No, my friend." "I insist." "Get in Conocchia's car." "Sweetie move it, go with Laura." " Where's your wife?" " I don't know." "She was just here." "Rossella, come with us." "Yes, I want to tell you a strange story." "My sister was a nun." "She died very young and one night her portrait suddenly changed its expression." "Please, get in." "Changed as if it wanted to warn me about some danger..." "I'll sit in the front." "So a couple days later my uncle says," "Let's go to the market, kid." "He drove an Isotta Fraschini..." "I was recounting a premonition..." "So what do you think?" "You have to be a little crazy to listen to this director." "Bundle up." "It's damp." "Renato, where are you?" "Here, Commendatore." "We've gotta be ready for the 20th." "Follow me, ladies." "Careful." "The ground is bumpy." "It seems to me we're a bit behind." " No." "We're already up to 70 meters." "Listen, what's up with Luisa?" "She's changed all of a sudden." "She's turned so nervous and angry." "I don't know." "She was so happy to come see you." "You might have said something that upset her." " Never." " And what's this?" "I find this extraordinarily fascinating." "This model will be superimposed on the structure, to create the illusion that the rocket is on the launch pad." " Am I right?" " Right." "[Skipped item nr. 145]" "This is the rocket's launch pad." "The most important moment in the movie." "No photos." " Just one, Commendatore." "What is your husband up to this time?" "Science fiction?" "What do I know?" "Ask him." "Giancarlo wrote him such a beautiful story about Martians." "What is this amusement park for?" "You have no idea what a job this was." "No construction company wanted to take it on." "It rests entirely on sand." "How much concrete did it take?" "Tons!" "400 tons." "Commendatore, if you don't mind," "I'll stop at the end of this first flight." "I have vertigo." "For 80 million you could buy at least ten apartments." "It's a pompous shack, just like him." "The little sister-in-law is not exactly tender with our director." "Maybe she's in love with him." " With him?" "I pray day and night that I'll be spared a husband like him." "What now?" "More climbing?" "I'd be glad to carry you." "When I think he made me spend 80 million on this structure." "Wouldn't a well-crafted backdrop have been better?" "A backdrop!" "That's out of your grandfather's time." "Besides, are they your millions, Conocchia?" "Luisa, are you cold?" "Take my jacket." "No, no." "Thank you." "Anyway, we're going back to the hotel." "Is something wrong?" "You've gotten sad all of a sudden." "Am I wrong?" "No." "I'm not sad at all." "The sequence starts with an image of planet Earth completely wiped out by a thermonuclear war..." "Guido seemed glad to see you, really." "...and the spaceship, our new Noah's Ark, tries to escape, while the rest of humanity seeks refuge on another planet." "More than 10,000 extras, even 15,000, a tragic crowd." "We're really going to see all this in your movie?" "The prophet is raising his voice." "He's decided to scare everybody." "Why not?" "Don't tell me you also love movies where nothing happens?" "In my movie I have all sorts of things happen." "I'm putting everything in." "Even a tap-dancing sailor." "Sailor, come here." "What did you learn in America?" "No, I don't want water." "Dance and I'll give you a part." "Dance." "What's up with you?" "What's going on?" "Rossella, cut the big sister tone." "It puts me off right away." "Mr. Director, what part do I get?" "What does Luisa think about me?" "What does she want to do?" "What's my part?" "My part?" "Go away!" "You know Luisa." "She doesn't say much." "Not even to me, and I'm her best friend." "I really don't know." "She's lost." "0ne day she says one thing, another day, something else." "Unfortunately, I think the only thing she'd like is for you to be someone else." "Why?" "It's the mistake everyone makes." "But that kind little fellow, is he in love with her?" "You'd like that, so your conscience won't gnaw at you anymore." "You're such a scoundrel." "Poor Enrico, he's so awkward." "Everybody's noticed." "He hangs around, listens to her, keeps her company." "He's a great friend." "I thought my ideas were so clear." "I wanted to make an honest film." "No lies whatsoever." "I thought I had something so simple to say." "Something useful to everybody." "A film that could help to bury forever all those dead things we carry within ourselves." "Instead, I'm the one without the courage to bury anything at all." "And now I'm utterly confused." "This launch pad to deal with..." "I wonder why things turned out this way." "When did I go wrong?" "I really have nothing to say... but I want to say it all the same." "And your spirits, why don't they come to my rescue?" "You always said they had plenty of messages for me." "Let them get to work!" "I've already told you, your attitude is wrong," "Your curiosity toward them is childish." "You want too many guarantees." " Fine, but what do they say?" " Always the same thing." "Even now." "They're very reasonable spirits." "They know you very well." "So?" "They say you're free, but you must learn to choose." "You don't have much time." "And you have to hurry." "Guido, are you coming up?" "Yes or no?" "Room 320, please." "Nobody's in." "Fine, thanks." "Have you got a headache?" "No, it's a tranquilizer." "Do you take them often?" "Sometimes, to help me sleep." "What's worrying you now?" "What?" "Nothing." "If you could only see yourself." "Why are you laughing?" "I don't think I could ever betray you, if only because I couldn't bear the ridiculous effort of having to hide and lie." "But obviously it's easy for you." "Listen Luisa." "I am very happy you're here, but I am very tired and sleepy." "Sleep then." "Good night." "I don't know what you think my life is like, reducing it all to the pettiness of somebody stealing from the cookie jar." "What do you know about my life?" "What I hate and what I don't." "I only know what you show me." "What am I showing you?" "Come on, tell me what you see." "You and your judgmental moralism." "What are you getting at?" "Nothing." "I know we've been stagnating for years." "But it's you; you're the one who always calls me back and wants to start all over again." "0nce and for all, I don't want to restart anything." "But what do you want?" "Why did you want me here?" "What good am I to you?" "What are you trying to get from me?" "What is it you want?" "Don't fret." "I'd already spotted her last night when I got in." "I've asked no questions, so don't say a word." "Spare me the embarrassment of having to listen to your lies." "She must have been born in March or April." "She's got all the characteristics of an Aries." "She's the Aries type." "I'll tell you what type she is." "Exactly the type most likely to make a good companion for feeble, spineless, confused men." "Luisa, I didn't know." "I'm seeing her for the first time, like you." "Really, in a place like this, where there are so many people, it's no surprise to run into the poor thing." "So this is why you've been tormenting me since last night." "You should have told me." "What annoys me most is that people could think" "I'd go with somebody who dresses that way." "Have you seen her clothes?" "Listen, can't we go for a walk?" "Let's not talk about this anymore." "It's been over for three years." "Finished." "Enough." "He drives me crazy." "He pretends he's telling the truth." "He acts honest." "As if he's the one who's right." "How can you live this way?" "It's not right living this way, not letting others know what's true and what's false." "Is it possible that for you it's all the same?" "How?" "You're right." "I know, I'm boring." "How sad having to play the bourgeois wife who doesn't understand." "You tell me, what should I do." "I really can't laugh about it the way you do." "No darling, I'm not laughing." "What do you tell her?" "What disgusts me the most is that you've mixed her up in our life." "She knows everything about you and me." "That whore." "Cow!" "You're a real pain, you know." "And yet..." "Signora Carla, you sing so well." "No, I'm just an amateur." "And how pretty you look." "I've wanted to meet you for so long." " And I, you." "You're so stylish." "No, you're the stylish one." "Me, frankly, I'm a bit trashy." "What are you talking about?" "This is so refined." "Do you like it?" "It's a little outfit I found in Vogue." " Really?" "If you only knew how long it took me to find it." "But you know, when Carla wants something..." "Here he comes!" "Guido's here." "Good evening, women." "Close the door, there's a storm." "How are you?" "Well?" "Every gift comes with its nametag." "Don't get mixed up." "This is Caterina's." "He's a darling!" "And this one is for my darling sister-in-law, because she's finally understood how things should be." "We'll draw your bath right away." "Gloria, this is you-know-what." "Thanks." "I need to talk to you, Guido." "I know what she wants to tell you." "Now we'll have to send her away because she's acting jealous." "What were you doing upstairs?" "I went to see those poor things." "They'd always be alone, if not for me." "The role doesn't suit her." "She's only a common bourgeoise." "She has no class." "Leave him alone now." "He's got to take his bath." "0h Guido, this is splendid, I've always wanted one like it." "Hurry, Carla, Hedy!" "Get the buckets." "Guido, my husband wrote." "He wants me home for New Year's, just for a day, do you mind?" "If you do, I'll tell him I can't." " I think that will be fine." "Come on, Carlotta!" " Who's that little black girl?" " A surprise from us." "She's from Hawaii, don't you remember her?" "You told us about her so many times." "Thank you, Luisa." "You're so kind." "Such a delicate little present." "That tiara is mine." "Yes, I know." "I'll give it back to you later." "0h, darling!" "What a thrill to find you here." " How are you?" " Fine." "But do tell me, who are you?" "The name doesn't matter." "I'm happy to be here." "Don't ask me any questions." " Can I stay?" "0f course, you pretty thing." "I'm busy now." "But later?" "Rossella?" "What are you doing here?" "Playing Pinocchio's wise cricket." "Do you mind?" "No." "But why are you laughing?" "It's nothing." "I just want to see how you get out of this one." "You've finally got your harem, King Solomon!" " It was high time." " Sure was." "Lower me down." "Aren't you a little scared?" "0f what?" "Everything is going great." "Can I stay too?" "I'm having such fun." "I don't want anything." "I'll just watch you." "We have rules that must be respected." "Do you know that?" "Come, help me." "It's a two piece suit with a busby in ostrich feathers." "Do you like it?" "Hi Hedy, it's beautiful." "So, what are the rules?" "I don't know." "He promised me a part in his movie and said" "I'd have to change dresses a lot." "Girls, that's enough." "Get me out." " Gloria, the talcum powder." " Ah, yes." "Guido, do you know she prepared something just the way you like it?" " Really?" " A cake." " Are you happy, girls?" " 0f course!" "Isn't this just what you always wanted?" "Certainly!" "Isn't he the best kid in the world?" "Nadine, hurry up with the powder!" "0h Nadine, what was it you used to say in Copenhagen?" "We're delighted to invite our passengers to spend the night in Copenhagen due to a problem with the motor." "Just listen to her voice..." "The company will cover all expenses." "Good night to you all." "Madeleine, come help us." " Saraghina!" " Here I am." "I'll carry Guido." "0h, my poor man." "The water was scalding." "He's turned all red!" " Such nice, thin legs." " Straight like when he was a boy." "He likes to act like a kid, but he's really very complex." "Don't be fooled." "I'm onto him." "He's a hypocrite." "No, he's not." "But why does he have to tell everything to anybody?" "He knows how to stand up for himself." "Guido, help me." "Who's screaming like that?" "Jacqueline." "She refuses to go upstairs with the old ones, so we've locked her in the cellar." "It's scandalous." "I don't want to have to speak to those witches, so much older than me." "I'm 26." "Go to the Paris public register." "Jacqueline Bon Bon, 26, the 4th of July 1938." "You have no right to send me upstairs." "It's not my time yet." "Look, I'm so agile." "Look at my legs." "Which one of you has such a tight little ass?" "Look at my chest." "Guido, don't send me upstairs." "I don't want to go upstairs." "You know the rules." "The rules are the rules." "Guido I..." "Calm down." "Apparently it's nice upstairs, too." " Your earring." "Here." " Thank you." "You've always loved me." "Please, tell him to give me an extension." "Guido, couldn't we give her an extension?" "What are you doing?" "You're breaking my balls too?" "I beg you Guido, just for one year." " No extension." " I'm not going upstairs." " What did you say?" " I'm not going upstairs." " Say it again if you dare." " I'm not going upstairs!" "This one is crazy." "I told you we should never have let her in." "Hey, girl!" "Just look at your rulebook." "Whoever passes the age limit shall be removed to the upper floors, where she shall be treated equally well, but shall live basking in her memories." "It's so disgusting, absurd, we shouldn't have accepted it." "Never, right from the start." "It's not fair!" "These are rules invented by someone who doesn't pass the test himself." "In France such a man would be the shame of the nation." "Are we lemons to thrown out after we're squeezed?" " Guido, they're so right." " You're a monster." "[Skipped item nr. 432] 0ur time has come!" "Hurray for Jacqueline, who has shown us the way to our freedom." "Down with the tyrant, down with Bluebeard!" "We have the right to be loved 'til we're 70 years old." "Down with him!" "And what do you think you are?" "A boy?" "Let's say it once and for all, he doesn't know how to make love." "That's the truth." " And he falls asleep right away." " I don't sleep." "I think." "Guido, don't send us upstairs when we get old." "Down, down." "Quick!" "They're rebelling upstairs too." "0h, delicious!" "You pig, you liar." "I came all the way from Paris." "What's my part?" "Guido, who will dance for you?" "You liked it so much." "I don't like it anymore." "Luisa, help me!" "Sorry, but I don't meddle in my husband's business." "If this is his decision, it's good." "Those are the rules." "Hurry up Guido, the soup's getting cold." "Can't you see I'm busy?" "What an extraordinary man." "Yes, but..." "He needs to act this way." "He does it almost every night." "Guido, do you remember me?" "But darling, you're wounded;" "I'll get you some cream..." " I don't want any cream." " Some balm." " I don't want any balm." " Drops..." "It's not true that he dumps you like squeezed lemons." "Actually, he'd like to keep you all with him always." "He is too good, too patient." "No, not me, no." "He doesn't like you." "You're old." "Dear Jacqueline, we're happy to have had the opportunity to live with you and we wish you the best of luck upstairs." "We'd like to reassure you on Guido's behalf that you were the first showgirl in his life." "You're now entitled to a song and dance of your choice, with your very own spotlight." "Thank you girls, you're so kind." "Would you like me to sing a love song?" "No, better something sexy." "That was my specialty." "Guido, remember the Apollo theater in Bologna?" "Yes, I do." "No, better a happy song!" "0h, I've lost my pearls." "0h, again!" "You're not even listening." "Farewell, Guido." "I thought it was such a funny situation, the funniest part of my story." "I'd even prepared a little speech to give at the table:" "Darlings, happiness is being able to tell the truth without ever making anybody suffer." "Carla would have played the harp, as on any night, and we would have been happy hiding in here, far away from the world." "All of you and I." "What's wrong?" "Why this sadness?" "See?" "We've made him feel guilty." "That's not it, Guido." "It has been a wonderful evening." "You mustn't be sad." "Do you need anything?" "Now they'll all go to bed and I still have a lot to do:" "the laundry, all the dishes, mend the sheets, scrub the floors and set up breakfast for tomorrow." "Aren't we fine living all together this way?" "At first I didn't understand, that this is the way things are meant to be." "But now..." "Don't you think I'm good now?" "I don't bother you anymore." "I don't ask questions." "A bit slow, wasn't I?" "It's taken me 20 years to understand." "20 years since the day we got married and you became my husband and I your wife." "Do you remember Guido?" "Do you remember that day?" "If you could only be patient a little longer, Luisa." "But perhaps you've had it." "Frankly, I'd love to be able to offer a word of advice." "But I think tonight you're called to solve a problem for which there is no solution." "Finding a precise face for a crowd of characters that in your script are so rough, so vague, so superficial..." "What is it we're watching?" "I don't know... screen tests." "You're not well." "Quite the contrary." "Agostini, get on the catwalk and do a little dance for us." "I'll accompany you on the piano." "Listen here. "The solitary ego that revolves around itself and feeds upon itself, ends up strangled by a great cry or a great laugh."" "Words that Stendhal wrote during his stay in Italy." "If we sometimes read those sayings on chocolate wrappers instead of throwing them away, we would be spared many an illusion." "There he is." "By the door, always ready to run away." "Good evening to you all and apologies for the delay." "Well, what are you up to now?" " Guido where are you?" " Here." " Come down." " I'd rather stay up here." "Evening..." "Good, you're here too." "Let's get going." "Right away." "They skipped the variety act tonight so we could use the theater." "Let's go." "Young man, it's time to make up your mind." "I've brought all the screen tests..." "Pardon me Conocchia, but the time for his jokes is over." "All his doubts, his uncertainties, his whims." "He had all the time he wanted, but tonight we're here to choose." " That's why we're all here." " Right." "Conocchia has gotten everything from Rome." "The new and the old screen tests, even the ones we shot five months ago." "Now we'll go through them one by one, and you have to say:" "This is the wife, this is the mistress, this is the Cardinal, this is Saraghina." "Clear?" "I don't want to be the joke of the Italian film industry but above all I don't want you to end up that way." "They're all ready to shoot you down." "You've got very few friends left, on the Left or the Right." "But I am here to help you each and every way." "We must start shooting and we must do it immediately." "Roll the screen tests." "Miss 0limpia's screen test." "Miss 0limpia..." " Should I shut the door?" " Yes." "Sway, sway your big hips." "Put down your stuff." "Good." "Now go to the mirror." "Admire yourself." "More." "Swell your chest." "There." "Now go to the phone." "Slowly." "Don't run." " Why are you running?" " I'm not." "Look, hit that mark." "There, on the floor." "Hello, the concierge please?" "Speaking." "I'd like a bottle of flat water." "Fiuggi." "No, Fiuggi is sparkling." "No, look this way." "Fiuggi is the least sparkling." "Fine, I'll take the Fiuggi." "Will this one do, Guido?" "He's got to make up his mind because she's leaving for England." "She's leaving next week, Guido." " And who's this one?" " Shut up, you!" "0r do you prefer this one." "This is an important character." "People need to like her right off the bat." "Right, Guido?" "Signora, sit down as if you were drained." "This character is a woman who has lost the desire to fight." "because... say your line..." " Without stopping?" " What?" " Without stopping?" " Yes, yes." "I am the one who's offering you complete freedom." "Anyway, I'm no good to you this way." "I'm just a nuisance." "And who's this?" "What should she represent?" "Didn't you hear?" "She's the wife." "Still, she's likable, soulful." "Don't you think?" " Gimme a cigarette." " I've run out." "Enrico, fill us up." " Here you go." " Thank you." "You're welcome." "I cannot go on like this any longer." "Now, you tell me how I should be." "Not someone who lies and swears he's telling the truth every second of the day." "That would be enough." "You don't even do that." "With you I never, never know the truth." "Even in the smallest things." "Luisa, I care for you." "Lying is like breathing to you." "Repeat that, please." "Lying is like breathing to you." "So brazen." " All lines from his life." " Right." "I know this one." "She's the princess." "Am I not alone already?" "What are you giving me?" "What have I got to look forward to?" "Look this way." "Put on the glasses." "Repeat the last line." "Am I not alone already?" "You have to say it, yes, aggressively, but also with deep bitterness." "He said:" "What?" "You want a separation." "You want to be alone." "But what would you do on your own?" "And she answers: why, am I not alone already?" "Go on." "Guido, there's no doubt about this one." "She's perfect." "Five months." "We've been going this way for five months." "But they're all so old!" "Fiuggi is sparkling." "No, it's the least sparkling." "Louder." "Put down the phone." "Screen test for Miss Olimpia." "What about this one?" "It's dangerous leaving me alone." "Why, what do you do?" "Should I repeat the line?" "No, just turn your little head this way." "Now, stop." "Where are you going?" "Back to the hotel." "I'm sleepy." "Wait a second." "Listen." "What happened?" "Nothing." "Nothing ever happens between us." "Were you offended by something you saw?" "It's just a movie." "I'm the first to understand that." "It's a movie, another invention, another lie." "You put everybody in it, but the way you like to see them." "But I know the truth." "The difference is that I would never have the impudence to tell everybody the way you do." "Go ahead." "Make your movie." "No, I won't." "Indulge yourself." "Stroke your ego." "Go make everyone think you're so wonderful." "What could you ever teach strangers when you can't even tell the simplest truth to the ones closest to you?" "To the one who's been growing old with you?" "Come on Luisa." "Cut the drama." "You were right to ask me here." "We needed to find closure." "This time, I assure you, I won't be coming back." "You can go to hell!" "Fine, just run, run." "Do what the doctor ordered, run!" "Shut up!" "Throw this ignoramus out." "Fine, now sing." "You may say I'm losing it, but I have the bills here..." "I'll never pay this one, never!" "Conocchia, you're losing it." "Saraghina look, we've got the money." "Saraghina, the Rumba, the Rumba..." "Guido, would you please say something?" "Please!" "What about this one, Guido?" "Frankly I preferred the one before." "This one is from Naples." "Can't you see that I'm... stuttering." "When are you coming?" "I'm tired of waiting." "Look at me." "Don't leave me alone!" "You know it's dangerous." "Don't leave me alone." "You know it's dangerous, darling." "Look over here." "Why aren't you coming now?" "Why are you keeping me waiting?" "You know it's dangerous when I have to wait." "Louder, louder!" "Countess, walk." "Don't touch me." "This way, this way." "Screen tests Mrs. Grazia, one." "Just bare your shoulders all of a sudden." "Saraghina, we've got the money." "The money." "Stop." "Very good." "Was it all right?" "Signora, what do you think?" "If he won't speak up, at least we can say something." "Somebody say something!" "This is a democracy, right?" "You can't hide." "We've found you anyway." "How are you?" "Hi, I'm Poletti, from Claudia's press agency." "We met 15 years ago." "You might not remember me..." " Look, she's here." " Where?" "Excuse me." " Claudia." " How are you?" "Well, and you?" "You're finally here." "Let's go outside, all right?" "This is Caroline, my secretary." "I'd like to talk to you alone." "When do we start shooting?" " Soon, very soon." " And what's my part?" "I'll tell you everything later." "I'm very happy to be working with you and I hope I'll be able to help you." "But you must tell me everything." "Where are we going now?" "Well?" " This way." "You're so beautiful." "I'm at a loss for words." "You make my heart beat like a school boy's." "You don't believe me, do you?" "You inspire such deep respect." "Who do you love?" "Claudia, who are you with?" " Who do you care for?" " You." "You arrived just in time, you know." "Why do you smile that way?" "I never know if you're judging me, absolving me, mocking me." "I'm listening." "You said you wanted to tell me about the film." "I don't know anything." "Could you leave everything behind and start from zero again?" "Pick one thing, and one only, and be absolutely devoted to it?" "Make it the reason for your existence, the thing that contains everything, that becomes everything, because your dedication to it makes it last forever?" "Could you?" "All right, listen." "If I were to say, Claudia..." "Where are we going?" "I don't know the way..." "And what about you?" "Could you?" "The springs must be nearby." "Listen." "Turn here." "No, this guy here, he couldn't." "He wants to grab everything, can't give up a single thing." "He changes his mind every day, because he's afraid he might miss the right path." "And he's slowly bleeding to death." " So this is how the movie ends?" "No, this is how it starts." "Then one day he meets the girl of the spring." "She's one of those girls that distributes the healing water, she's beautiful, young and ancient, a child and a woman already, authentic and radiant." "There's no doubt that she's his salvation." "You'll be dressed in white and your hair will be long, just the way you wear it." "Turn the headlights off." "And then?" "Let's leave." "I don't like this place." "It doesn't feel real." "I like it enormously." "Isn't that odd?" "I didn't get much from your story." "A guy like your character, who doesn't love anybody, is not very sympathetic you know." "It's his fault." "What does he expect?" "You think I don't know that?" "You're a bit of a bore too." "You really can't take the least bit of criticism." "You're so funny with that big hat, made up like an old man." "I don't understand." "He meets a girl that can give him a new life and he pushes her away?" "Because he no longer believes in it." "Because he doesn't know how to love." "Because it isn't true that a woman can change a man." "Because he doesn't know how to love." "And above all because I don't feel like telling another pile of lies." "Because he doesn't know how to love." "I'm sorry, Claudia, for making you come all the way here." "You're such a fake." "So, there's no part in the film." "You're right." "There isn't." "And there's no film." "There's nothing anywhere." "If it were up to me we would call it all off now." "Ah, here you are." "Where did you go?" "We're starting next week." "Your producer had a great idea." "The greatest cocktail party ever to launch a movie." "And you know where?" " At the launch pad." "Tomorrow afternoon." "Radio, television, and all the foreign press." "Come on, Guido, we're starting for real." "Catch him!" "Let's go." "Walk!" "I want to go home." "Here, he's here." "Guido, where are you going?" "It's over here." "Guido, I'm sure today will be a beautiful day." "I'm really curious to finally hear the story..." "Don't you take yourself a little too seriously, Mr. Anselmo?" "Leave me alone, I can walk by myself." "Good luck!" "Dottore, here he is!" "Calm down!" "We've been waiting three days for you." "It's winter already." "Attention, please." "...do you think of pornography as an art form or is pornography a more intense form of why don't you ever make a film about love?" "I wish to announce that..." "Tomorrow... tomorrow..." "What do you think you can teach us?" "Do you really think your life can be of any interest to others?" "He wants to say something." "Answer, say something, go on." "Anything at all!" "Say anything!" "Do it for me!" "I promise you this film." "And afterward, what will you live on?" "Are you for or against divorce?" "Tell me, frankly..." "Is that your main problem?" "That you can't communicate?" "0r is that just a pretext?" "Your questions betray a certain hostility." "I assure you my director is in great form..." "What should I do?" "What am I supposed to do?" "...he should be treated with respect, because..." "Conocchia, forgive me if I treated you badly." "You were wonderful, the best of them all." "He ponders, considers, reflects." "Speak!" "Answer!" "I've paid for your confusion, your breakdown." "For months I've been paying for everything." "Quit this film and I'll ruin you." "He'll now be at your disposal." "The press always has been..." "Claudia, where are you?" "And your spirits, Rossella?" "What should I do?" "Leave you?" "Disappear?" "You will never be what you once were." "Will I ever be your wife?" "When will you truly marry me?" "Luisa, is it really true that you want a separation?" "That you want to leave me?" "How can I go on like this 'til the end?" "...and what does your wife think?" "It's in your right-hand pocket, Dottore." "So long, Guido." "I put it in your right-hand pocket." "Nobody gets away with this." "Buffoon!" "0ut of there, out!" "You coward!" "Just a minute, a little moment." "I'm thinking of what to say." "I'm coming... right away!" "Such an incurable romantic." "Where are you running, you low-life?" "Take it all down, guys!" "The film is off." "In two days it all has to be gone." "Start right away." "Tear it all down." "Come on!" " Is that it, Dottore?" " Yes, thanks." "So long, guys." "See you next time." "Let's hope so." "So long, sailor." "You've made the right choice." "Believe me, today is a good day for you." "These are tough decisions, I know." "But we intellectuals, and I say we because I consider you such, must remain lucid to the bitter end." "This life is so full of confusion already, that there's no need to add chaos to chaos." "Losing money is part of a producer's job." "I congratulate you." "You had no choice." "And he got what he deserved, for having joined such a frivolous venture so lightheartedly." "Believe me, no need for remorse." "Destroying is better than creating when we're not creating those few, truly necessary things." "But then is there anything so clear and right that it deserves to live in this world?" "For him, the wrong movie is only a financial matter." "But for you, at this point, it could have been the end." "Better to quit and strew the ground with salt, as the ancients did, to purify the battlefields." "In the end what we need is... some hygiene, some cleanliness, disinfection." "We're smothered by images, words and sounds that have no right to exist, coming from, and bound for, nothingness." "0f any artist truly worth the name we should ask nothing except this act of faith: to learn silence." "Do you remember Mallarmé's homage to the white page?" "And Rimbaud..." " Guido, wait!" "...a poet, my friend, not a movie director." "What was his finest poetry?" "We're ready to begin." "His refusal to continue writing and his departure for Africa." "Congratulations." "If we can't have everything, true perfection is nothingness." "Forgive me for quoting all the time." "But we critics... do what we can." "0ur true mission is... sweeping away the thousands of miscarriages that everyday... obscenely..." "try to come to the light." "And you would actually dare leave behind you a whole film, like a cripple who leaves behind his crooked footprint." "Such a monstrous presumption to think that others could benefit from the squalid catalogue of your mistakes!" "And how do you benefit from stringing together the tattered pieces of your life?" "Your vague memories, the faces of people that you were never able to love..." "What is this sudden happiness that makes me tremble, giving me strength, life?" "Forgive me, sweet creatures." "I hadn't understood." "I didn't know." "It's so natural accepting you, loving you." "And so simple." "Luisa, I feel I've been freed." "Everything seems so good, so meaningful." "Everything is true." "I wish I could explain." "But I don't know how to." "So." "Everything is confused again, as it was before." "The lights!" "But this confusion is... me." "Not as I'd like to be, but as I am." "I'm not afraid anymore of telling the truth, of the things I don't know, what I'm looking for and haven't found." "This is the only way I can feel alive and I can look into your faithful eyes without shame." "Life is a celebration." "Let's live it together!" "This is all I can say Luisa, to you or the others." "Accept me for what I am, if you want me." "It's the only way we might be able to find each other." "I don't know if what you said to me is right." "But I can try if you help me." "Just a minute." "I'll give you the go-ahead." "Now." "Go to the curtain." "Draw it." "Everyone come down." "Talk to each other." "Mother." "Sgulp!" "I did understand what you wanted to say, you know." "That you can't do without us." "At what time will you call me tomorrow?" " Fine, fine." "Now join the line!" "Maurice!" "Come, quickly!" "Stop fooling around." "Everybody hold hands!" "Spread out!" "All together." "Maestro!" "Let's all hold hands!"

"And don't come in to eat before you do." "And check the other two!" "Make sure they're wired up good!" "I don't want 'em blowing over again at the first big wind." "Lot of good they're doing." "Billy, you been messing with the post-puncher?" "No!" "I told you what would happen... if you screw around with this thing." "I said I didn't!" ""l don't want 'em blowing' down again."" "Big wind, my ass." "You're the only big wind out here." "Jacky!" "You been messing with the damn post-puncher again, huh?" "No." "Billy, you little asshole!" "Why don't you rat yourself out for a change?" "What did I do?" "You little butt sniff!" "I ought to come out there and kick your ass!" "You wish!" "Yeah, go on, Mac." "Go bite him in the ass for me, Mackie boy." "God, would you shut up?" "Jacky!" "Jacky!" "Jacky!" "Jacky!" "What?" "I don't know." "What?" "Help!" "Billy!" "Help!" "Help!" "Where are you?" "Billy!" "Daddy!" "Billy!" "Let go!" "Help me, dad!" "Billy!" "Help!" "Help!" "Help!" "Billy!" "Help!" "Dad!" "Help me!" "Billy!" "Stop it!" "Let go!" "Billy!" "Daddy!" "Billy!" "Help!" "Bannon Bantams!" "Bannon Bantams!" "Go!" "Louder!" "Go!" "Louder!" "Go Bantams!" "Yeah!" "Whoo!" "Yeah!" "Tough as nails, hard as rocks!" "We are Bannon's fighting cocks!" "Fighting Bantams, tough as nails!" "Bow down now or kiss our tails!" "Out for blood, we're lean and mean!" "Bannon County's death machine!" "Bannon Bantams!" "Bannon Bantams!" "Go Bantams!" "Bannon Bantams, power and might!" "Bannon Bantams, fight, fight, fight!" "Incoming!" "Bannon Bantams, we're the word!" "You don't mess with a mighty bird!" "Down the court we'll clean your clock!" "Better not mess with the fighting cock!" "Bannon Bantams, Bannon Bantams!" "Go Bantams!" "Bannon Bantams, wings of steel!" "Bannon Bantams, kill, kill, kill!" "Who was that?" "Don't even ask!" "Big bad Bantams kick your ass!" "Bannon Bantams, Bannon Bantams!" "Go Bantams!" "Go!" "Go Bantams!" "We are the champs!" "We are the champs!" "Tough as nails, hard as rocks!" "We are Bannon's fighting cocks!" "How long can they keep this up?" "Forever." "They have a fight song with the word "cock" in it." "Why aren't you sitting with your honey?" "Bannon County's death machine!" "Someone should tell him he just won the state championship." "I have a feeling he didn't get to play enough." "Well, shouldn't you be sitting with him?" "After a game, he says he needs to be with the guys." "You'd kill his post-game bus high." "Basically." "If they lose, it's a totally different thing." "Can't pry him off me." "Shit." "OK, everybody sit down." "Sit tight." "Son of a bitch!" "What in the hell would you call that?" "I don't know, but whatever it is... it's sharp as a son of a bitch." "What in the hell are we looking at?" "Sharp enough to flatten a tire, whatever it is." "You know how thick that rubber is?" "Have to be shot into it like a bullet." "Jesus Christ!" "The damn thing has got teeth in it!" "They can't just whip the jack out and pump this mother up?" "The driver can't change a flat on a bus." "They need a mechanic." "So?" "So, do you see any mechanics around here?" "You sucked so bad today, Deaundre... they're probably saying you gotta change the flat." "...where she'll give us the latest update..." "lzzy!" "on a continuing story... we call "The Horror in Poho County."" "Hey, Poho update!" "Well, Peter, the fire which gutted... an old church south of Pertwilla four days ago... continues to offer up a gruesome bounty." "County sheriffs excavating the charred ruins... say the body count is now up well past three hundred." "County coroners say the bodies were found... stitched to each other... covering the basement's walls and ceiling." "One on-the-scene witness called it..." ""a human tapestry of torture and sadism"... and "a sight he will never forget."" "Sheila, the details keep getting... stranger and stranger every day this week, it seems." "Any new information?" "Some of the corpses they have found... had false teeth made out of wood." "That means some of the bodies they're finding down there... are over two hundred years old." "But, Peter, it's the condition of the cadavers... that's the strangest fact of all." "The county coroner's office reported yesterday... that they have yet to find any one complete body." "Believe that, man?" "No, they're making it up." "...missing an external limb or an internal organ." "What connection this has" "This is 226, out on east 9." "We are down and disabled." "Home base, do you read me?" "You get a good look at the points on this thing?" "It's either ivory or some kind of bone." "Throw that damn thing away before you need a tetanus shot." "This is Betty Gorman out on 226." "We are down and disabled out on east 9." "Pop!" "Pop, it dropped something!" "Pop?" "It was out in the corn, papa." "Here, look at it." "We are out on east 9." "We are down and disabled." "Come back." "What about Kimball, man?" "Say again." "This is 226." "Anyone read me?" "We are down and disabled out on east 9." "Come back." "We gotta be in some kind of sun spot or something." "There's no signal getting out." "It's going to be dark in about an hour." "Well, we still got five tires on the ground which means... we can probably limp home if we keep the going slow." "Say again, this is 226." "Anyone read me?" "All of you at the same time?" "Lady cheerleaders!" "That's not smoke I smell, is it?" "Minxie... there's not a girl in the world these days... stupid enough to kill themselves... by sucking on cancer sticks, am I right?" "Back on the bus, ladies." "You saw me, right?" "Run that fast break?" "Huh?" "You see that?" "Yeah, I saw it." "Anybody gonna read about it?" "Why do you give ol' Dante back there so much ink, huh?" "I'm serious." "People are starting to think that you're sweet on him." "Really?" "I heard that was you." "Hey, it's OK if you are, man." "I mean, live and let love, right?" "Why don't you piss on somebody else's shoes, Jake?" "Shouldn't you be folding towels somewhere... or sniffing jockstraps?" "You think you can manage the team, super genius?" "Was I even talking to you, jockstrap boy?" "Hey, eat shit, Jake!" "God!" "So this is all because, what, I don't write enough about you?" "You know what the story is on your scars there, right?" "No, tell me." "Got into a fight when you snuck into a bar." "So?" "A gay bar, bro." "You do know what they call you, don't you, lzzy?" "That's my name." ""Or isn't he?"" "Hey, let's not make this... a social event out there, everybody." "Back on the bus, gentlemen." "We're moving!" "Big K, does that come in a man size?" "That means you, too, Kimball!" "Let's go!" "Smooth move, Big K!" "Nice, man!" "Tippi Hedren, man!" "Kimball!" "Stop clowning around... and get your ass back on the bus!" "Off the top, gentlemen." "Assholes and elbows." "Let's go." "Damn!" "You know, you could talk about it." "It might help a little bit." "What did I play today, twelve minutes?" "Well, it was a great twelve minutes." "Hanna's got it in for me-- him and his little token white boy Barnes." "I don't know... maybe I got the wrong skin color to get equal play on this team." "I know you don't mean that." "Maybe they just wanted to make sure... everyone got a chance to play in the championship." "Everyone's not the reason why we made it to the championship." "Half the losers on this bus had nothing to do with... us making it to state--I did." "What the fuck are you looking at?" "Oh, Jesus Christ!" "Aw, don'ttell me." "We blew the other one." "How?" "Back down, everybody." "Sit tight." "Shit." "We better break out the flares... and get these kids off the bus." "Hey, hey, hey!" "You want to sit in here and hope somebody doesn't... come along, plowing into us doing ninety, huh?" "All right, Duane... you clear the bus, I'll set the flares." "What is that, a flare gun?" "You plan on being lost at sea in this thing?" "You making fun of my lockbox?" "'Cause everything in this thing... has saved my sweet ass at least once." "Oh, I don't believe it." "All right, bring your coats and stay in a group." "This is Betty Borman, out on 226." "We're broke down on east 9... middle of Kissel County." "Anyone read me?" "Want me to help you push it off the road before I go?" "I don't think we can move it." "It's on a bare rim in the back." "If you'd let the highway patrol know, we'd appreciate it." "Sure." "Come on, guys." "Come on, let's go." "Off the road." "Come on, guys." "Everyone on the shoulder." "Everyone stays in a group." "Over by the side of the fence." "Scott, come on!" "Everyone stays back and off the road!" "Now!" "Stuck in the side of the tire again." "Oh, God." "Don't tell me... that's a belly button in the middle of that thing." "Minxie, stay off the road." "Everybody, off the road!" "Get everyone back on the bus." "You just said they shouldn't" "I know what I just said... but there's something going on out here, and I don't like it." "I think if we just st" "Coach?" "What the f..." "Where the hell's the coach?" "Charlie?" "Charlie!" "Get everyone back inside and close the doors." "OK, champions, getting back on the Betty Boop." "Bucky, get on the two-way, see if you can raise anyone." "I'm talking to you, Scotty!" "What happened to the coach?" "Get everyone back onboard and close those doors." "Do it, Scotty." "All right, you heard him." "Assholes and elbows." "Everybody back on the bus." "Charlie?" "Charlie?" "Hurry up!" "On the bus!" "Now, now, now!" "I repeat, bus number 226..." "Charlie!" "We have an emergency situation out here." "Does anybody read me?" "This is bus number 226." "We are broke down on east 9." "Jake..." "What happened?" "What did you see?" "What did you see?" "Come on!" "Did you see something or not?" "She flew away." "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" "What I just said!" "People don't fly away!" "Sit down, Scott!" "What the hell's going on out there?" "I said sit the fuck down and shut up, god damn it!" "Now!" "You, too, Jake." "Everybody." "Go sit down, Scott." "You got a problem with me?" "No." "You got one with me?" "Do I what?" "You heard me." "We don't have time for bullshit, Scotty." "Go sit down!" "Oh, God!" "What the hell?" "Scotty!" "What the fuck?" "Get the fucking doors!" "Get the fucking doors!" "Get the fucking doors!" "What was it?" "Scotty, what the fuck was it?" "Scotty, come on!" "Scotty, we just want to know." "I don't know what it was, all right?" "It had wings-- big fucking wings." "Central, this is unit 17." "We did a drive-by in the general area." "Also found no evidence of forced entry." "Over." "0-3-2, we're 10-7 at Opper's Diner... for a little coffee and pie." "Copy that, central?" "This is central." "Copy that, 0-3-6." "All units, anybody else getting... some weird stuff out Kissel County way?" "I just got two calls, ten miles apart... both reporting abductions." "All units, be informed this should be... strictly 10-36 information." "Someone burning a marijuana field out there tonight?" "'Cause these two stories are way, way out." "Roger that, 3-6." "Come back." "Jacky!" "Kissel County!" "If you ask me, this is Poho related." "Repeat--Poho related." "You all know what I'm talking about." "This is Andy Buck." "Can anybody hear me?" "Nobody's phone works." "Nobody's fucking phone works." "We are stuck in a broken-down school bus... out on east 9, and we are in serious trouble." "Do you read me?" "Fuck!" "Come on!" "Is anybody even out there?" "This is Andy Buck!" "We're stuck in a broken-down school bus out on east 9!" "Javelins?" "We've got spears on this bus?" "Sticks." "You want to wait around... so you can poke at that thing with sticks?" "That thing shows up here again..." "I'd rather have a sharp stick in my hand than nothing at all." "Hey, guys!" "Betty's flare gun." "Abunch offlaresforit,too!" "Who says we wait around?" "I'm serious." "Scotty, you're not talking about getting off this bus." "You see that?" "That means that there's a farm... down at the end of this road somewhere... and that's as far as anybody'd have to get to." "With that thing out there?" "Scotty, with that thing out there?" "Scotty!" "That thing hasn't been back here in almost an hour." "That doesn't mean it's not still up there somewhere." "And that doesn't mean that it is." "Hey, this isn't about who can run the fastest, OK?" "Or being a pussy." "What is your problem?" "You tell me, lzzy or isn't he?" "Check yourselves, both of you!" "Do I make you nervous?" "Thinking you're going to come onto me... and every other swinging dick on this bus makes me nervous." "Yeah, it makes you fucking stupid, too!" "Scotty, stop it!" "Stop it!" "Scotty, come on." "You get that hand off of me... or we're gonna have one more missing person out here." "There's nothing about any of us on this bus... that's more important than sticking together." "It's the only way we're going to get through this." "You want to play cock of the walk now, huh?" "Now's not the time for this shit, Scotty." "Big K, sit." "I'm serious." "You want to play cock of the walk, bro?" "Why do I think you want to call me something else?" "You want to call me something else, Scotty?" "'Cause I don't think you get..." "I can see you thinking it whether you say it or not." "Just stop it right now." "Both of you, stop it!" "You guys all worked together today to win a ball game." "Now that something really serious happens... you can't even be civil to each other?" "You tell him, not me." "Whatever your trip is, we ain't got time for this shit." "We should all be looking for ways... we can defend ourselves until help gets here." "We have got to move this piece of shit!" "On what, the rim?" "Can you drive this thing or not?" "We wouldn't get two feet, man!" "What do you want me to do?" "What the hell does it want?" "What the fuck?" "Is it looking at me?" "Whatever it is, it's a smell freak, man." "Get that light off him." "Hey, don't shoot that thing in here, man!" "He's right." "It'll fill this place up like a smokebomb." "Holy shit!" "Did that just come off the door?" "Bucky, get on those front doors and get ready to open them." "What, you think we're gonna run outside?" "If he fucking comes inside." "Oh, shit!" "Oh, my God!" "Minxie?" "Minxie?" "Is she OK?" "Minxie." "Minxie." "Minxie?" "Minxie?" "He eats everything." "He knows no mercy." "No one is safe." "Every 23rd spring, for 23 days, it gets to eat." "Eat what?" "Eat what?" "Eat us." "Minx?" "Are you OK?" "Look at me." "I thought you were gone, girl." "You passed out." "Look at me." "Are you OK?" "Your eyes went all the way in the back of your head." "I think he's gone, man." "I'm willing to bet money on it." "You willing to bet stepping off this bus?" "Because that's the real bet." "How long's it been?" "It's gone." "It came, it did its thing, it went away." "It went away, but what the hell was it doing?" "What do you think it was doing?" "It was picking people out." "What?" "It can smell something in people, in their fear-- something that helps it pick people out." "Pick people out for what?" "I don't understand how you would know that, sweetie." "A dead boy told me." "I think he was trying to warn me." "He was trying to warn all of us... that this thing has been around for thousands of years... and that nothing has been able to kill it." "This is a dream you had?" "Well, the boy was dead, so, yes..." "I am assuming that it was a dream, Scotty." "You were waving pom-poms at people this morning." "Now all of a sudden you're a psychic hotline?" "I don't know!" "You want to explain it to me?" "Because I can't." "The boy was trying to warn us... that by morning it has to go back into the earth." "Oh, come on." "Into the ground for twenty-three more years." "And then what?" "Lives happily ever after?" "Huh?" "Why don't you clean out your bong, all right?" "Scotty, just listen to her." "It is coming back." "This is a dream she had, Rhonda." "Are you going to believe it?" "And it doesn't matter if we're hiding on this bus... or if we're hiding under our beds." "It'll find us-- the ones that it picked out." "Minx, take it easy, OK?" "The boy told me that... it can smell in our fear who it wants... and what from them... it wants to eat." "Hello." "Is anyone out there?" "Hello." "We have a serious problem out here." "We need help right away." "Can anybody hear me?" "Is anybody out there, please?" "We have a-- This is Andy Buck." "We have a serious situation out here." "Is anybody out there?" "Does anybody hear me?" "Dad!" "Hello?" "Hello?" "Can you hear me?" "226, are you still there?" "I'm so fucking still here." "OK, OK." "Just say again what you just told me." "We're not playing games here, right?" "Just say it, man." "We are trapped in a broken-down school bus out on east 9... and something is going to kill us... if we don't get help out here right away." "Where on 9 east?" "In Kissel County." "Are you the cops?" "What's trying to kill you?" "What are you talking about?" "Just tell me, are you the fucking cops?" "Look, now listen to me." "I'm already on the 9... but it's a big highway and so is Kissel County." "Are there any landmarks near you?" "Are you close to anything?" "Yeah, I'm close to peeing in my fucking pants, man." "Can you just please tell me that you're on the way?" "I can't really judge the strength of your signal... but it doesn't sound close." "What does that mean, man?" "It means it's going to take me a while to get to you." "Look, we kind of have a time-critical situation here." "Roger that." "And please tell me that you're coming with backup... because if you're not the cops... you got to promise me that you'll call them... and you'll tell them that we're stuck out here." "I'll call them." "I'll call them right now... but what you've got to do is hang on." "Can you do that?" "Hang on." "Keep headed east." "Dad?" "Just get us out there." "Do it." "Yes!" "It's fucking happening, man!" "It's fucking happening!" "We're being fucking rescued!" "Help me!" "Get this thing off me!" "Help!" "Help!" "Get this thing off!" "Help me!" "Get this thing off me!" "Look out!" "Half its fuckin' head's gone." "Fuck." "You gotta be..." "Fucking kiddin' me." "Get that door open." "Now's our chance." "It's dead, right?" "Don't know." "Don't care." "It won't open!" "Stop pushing' on 'em!" "They open in!" "Something got screwed up!" "The door opens." "Maybe it only opens from the outside." "It's an emergency exit, idiot." "Then you fuckin' open it, man!" "Get that door open." "How can both fuckin' exits not fuckin' work?" "Fuck!" "Fuck!" "Fuck!" "He jammed it." "We thought it was trying to come in... but this frickin' thing was making sure... we couldn't get out." "Break the fuckin' doors!" "Holy shit, man." "Hey, we can pry this thing open." "Give me a pole or a bar or something metal--something big." "Yeah, yeah." "That'll work." "Come on, D. You need to get to this side." "Come on, everybody." "Come on." "This thing's like a fuckin' shower curtain, man." "It's crazy." "Oh, man, show like you got a pair." "Man, fuck you." "Come on." "Everybody, let's go." "Shower curtain?" "This thing's like a fucking piece of toilet paper." "What's it doing, Minx?" "What's it doing, Minx?" "What's it doing up there?" "It just tore its head off." "It's time to go." "What are you talking about, man?" "Help is coming." "The 9 is big." "Remember?" "What if he's an hour away?" "What's if he's going in the wrong direction?" "There are fucking cops on the way, man." "And you want the rest of us... to sit underneath that big hole in the roof... and hope that thing doesn't come crashing in here?" "What do you mean, the rest of us?" "I mean... it's time to stop being polite." "There are two classes of people on this bus now." "It had its pick of twenty of us back there... and it picked who?" "Dante was one." "Another one was you, Jake." "Oh, god damn it, Scott." "Don't" "And we all saw him go for you, Bucky." "What the hell is that supposed to mean, huh?" "Two classes of people?" "What, the "will be eaten" and the "won't be eaten"?" "Fuck you, Scotty." "Minxie says this thing... gets anybody it picks out, no matter what." "Don't put me in this." "She also said that after tonight... it goes away, and for a long time, Scott." "You tell us, Minxie." "Are we safe if we can hide out till morning... or is this thing gonna come after these guys... with everything it's got 'cause it only has till morning?" "Huh?" "We're screwed, right?" "Yeah." "Scotty, you're not talkin'... about throwing people off this bus?" "It's funny you should say that, D... 'cause the only other one... we know it picked out for sure was you." "Whoa!" "Hold on a second!" "We all saw the way it sniffed you out back there." "You were the only one it gave tongue action, man..." "and we all saw it." "Scotty!" "I don't understand what you're trying to do." "I'm trying to stay alive." "You're trying to split us up!" "We have just dropped a notch on the fucking food chain, man." "This is about living or dying now, OK?" "And if this bus is the only thing... keeping that fucker away for us... how safe are we, you guys... with everybody it's hungry for sittin' inside it?" "I want to see hands. 'cause as shitty a deal as it is..." "I gotta say I'd like you, Bucky, and Jake off this bus, man." "You listen to me, you piece of shit!" "He looked at you, too, bro." "I saw him, and you did, too." "He looked right at you and smiled." "And when you made Jake take the lights off it... he could've looked at you twice and licked his fucking lips... but we don't know that." "So you keep your little blacklist." "'Cause when he takes you out-- and I hope he does" "I'm gonna be the one gettin' as far away... from your sorry ass as I can." ""Time to go" is right." "I'm gonna go find that farm." "Then I'm going with you." "You know I'm coming." "You want to keep this bus?" "Then you sit in it." "Right under that big hole." "See how long you last." "Look, I'm sorry, D." "You are so right about that." "Come on, guys." "Come on, help is on the way." "Why are we splitting up?" "He said he was coming." "We're gonna leave, and he's gonna pull up." "That bus is a deathtrap, Bucky." "Use your head." "You're really gonna let them go alone?" "What, do you want to go with them?" "We don't know who it picked out." "Jesus Christ, it looked at everyone." "Scotty, let go of me." "Let go of you?" "Let go of me!" "Fuck." "Rho... tell me you're really walking away from me." "You used me." "You used all of us!" "All you care about is yourself." "Rho..." "You want to know, Scotty, what I found out today?" "When people get really scared... it's just like when they get drunk." "The real person comes to the surface." "We could've protected D and Jake and all of us... if we'd stuck together!" "You know, like in a team." "Hey." "Hey!" "Jonny!" "Open the door!" "Open the door!" "Open the door!" "You little cocksucker!" "I will fucking fry you!" "You open these goddamn doors!" "You open them right now!" "Jonny, open the fucking doors, man!" "Open the" "Open the-- This is my bus, too, man!" "Run!" "Run!" "He's right behind you, D!" "Run!" "Run!" "Get back!" "Get off!" "Break off!" "Oh, God!" "Shit!" "Hold on, hold on!" "Hold still!" "Stop moving!" "Stop!" "Come on, Scotty!" "You're hurting him!" "You're hurting him!" "Get me" "Hold still!" "Pull it out!" "Hold on!" "Stop it!" "Keep back!" "Stop moving!" "It's in there like it's welded!" "Pull that out!" "You're hurting him!" "Stop it, Scotty!" "Hold still!" "Stop it, Scotty!" "Izzy, hold him!" "Hold him!" "Scotty, hold still!" "Scotty, hold still!" "Get it!" "Please fuckin' hurry!" "Oh, God!" "Oh, shit!" "Please hurry!" "Oh, God!" "Please hurry!" "Oh, D, I'm sorry, man!" "I'm so sorry!" "Please fuckin' help!" "Scotty!" "Scotty!" "Scotty!" "Scotty!" "Scotty!" "Scotty!" "Damn it!" "Scotty!" "Scotty!" "What is it, boy?" "What is it?" "Papa!" "Go." "Go!" "Where did you come from?" "From that bus?" "How far up ahead?" "Huh?" "Come on, answer me." "It doesn't matter." "There's no one on the bus, and you can't kill it." "Jacky, get the dog inside." "Look, you can't stop it!" "You get in the cabin with Jack Jr." "You stay down till this is over." "This'll never be over!" "It doesn't matter what you do." "It'll be back... twenty-three years from now... and twenty-three years from then." "Get us to that bus." "Jonny?" "Jonny?" "What was that?" "Jonny?" "Bucky!" "What are you doin' here?" "What are you doin' here?" "You let her in, huh, Jonny?" "Have you seen anybody else?" "What are you doing?" "That thing is after you, Bucky." "Hey, there's no farm out there, man." "I must--I must've run ten miles all over this fuckin' valley." "Bucky... come on, just please go away." "Don't make me go back out there again, man." "It's fuckin' freaky out there, man." "Please." "Get around the bus!" "Jacky!" "Get us around this bus now!" "Now!" "Get around the bus!" "Jacky, get out!" "Get out of there now!" "Jacky!" "You all right?" "Jacky, answer me!" "Jacky, answer me!" "Are you OK?" "I think so." "Jacky, get us away from the bus!" "Come on, let's go!" "Get us away from the bus!" "Come on, Jacky, go on!" "Get us away!" "Move it!" "Dad?" "Dad?" "Yeah!" "Dad!" "All you kids, get down!" "Jacky!" "Jacky!" "You gotta get us away from the bus now!" "Come on!" "Dad!" "Dad, get out of there." "The spool's jammed in the cradle!" "Dad, just get out!" "The cradle's welded to the truck's frame." "Get out, dad!" "He'll rip my gun right out of the truck!" "Dad, just get the fuck out of there!" "Dad, dad... are you OK?" "Dad!" "Dad?" "Dad!" "You're not going to believe this... but I think I found a way out of here." "What?" "Minxie said it doesn't matter." "It doesn't matter what Minxie said." "Right?" "The others might've gotten away." "We don't know that." "Kimball, too." "Hey, nobody gets to decide we die." "No dream, nobody-- nobody gets to decide that!" "That is bullshit!" "I hope so." "Come on, I want to go show you a big ugly bug." "That's the truck that passed us this morning-- you remember, with the big bug on top of it?" "You think we can just drive away in it?" "No, but I think I know how to hot-wire a truck." "That's how I got in my bar fight." "I was trying to steal somebody's truck." "A gay bar?" "Jesus Christ." "Wherever he was going, I don't think he made it." "Oh, my God." "The keys are in it." "Come on, man, the keys are in it." "It's not birds." "Come on." "Fuck!" "Shit!" "D!" "Go!" "Go, go!" "Go, go, go!" "Go, go!" "Go, man, go!" "I'm a sitting duck back here, lzzy!" "Step on it!" "I've got it floored!" "Go!" "Come on, go!" "Go faster!" "Make it go faster!" "I can't!" "Go, go!" "Go, man!" "Go, go!" "Izzy, go!" "Go!" "Izzy!" "Move this piece of shit!" "Come on!" "Come on!" "Move it!" "Izzy!" "Go, go!" "Izzy, do something!" "Izzy!" "Get down!" "Izzy!" "Come on!" "Come on!" "Izzy!" "Izzy, fucking do something!" "Get out!" "What?" "Come on!" "Come on!" "Come on!" "Get out!" "Are you fucking crazy?" "Izzy!" "Izzy!" "Come on!" "Izzy!" "Stay down!" "Stay down!" "It isn't dead." "Its time ran out." "It looks dead to me." "You Taggart?" "That's right." "Can we see it?" "Can you read?" "This something real?" "Because I heard it was a bunch of bullshit." "It's still five bucks." "Where'd it come from?" "My dad killed it." "Yeah, but where'd it come from?" "It's five bucks from you, too." "How'd he kill it?" "Ask him." "Come on, man." "We ought to go get our money back." "What the hell is it?" "What do you think it is?" "We don't touch it." "What's the story on this thing?" "Whatever you've heard, probably." "You expect us to think that that thing's real?" "Don't really care." "How'd you kill it?" "Stabbed it right through the heart... with a big homemade harpoon." "When?" "About twenty-three years ago." "You waiting for something?" "About three more days... give or take a day or two."

"Most men like working on things." "Tools, objects, fixing things." "This is what men enjoy doing." "Ever noticed if a guy's in his driveway working on something with tools how all the other men in the neighborhood are magnetically drawn to this activity?" "They just come wandering out of the house like zombies." "Men" " It's true." "Men hear a drill, it's like a dog whistle." "Just:" "They go running up to the living-room curtain." ""Honey, I think Jim's working on something over there."" "So they run over to the guy." "They don't actually help the guy." "No." "They just want to hang around the area where work is being done." "That's what men want to do." "We want to watch the guy." "We want to talk to him." "We want to ask him dumb questions." "You know...." ""What are you using, a Phillips head?"" "You know, we feel involved." "That's why when they have construction sites they have to have those wood panel fences around it." "That's just to keep the men out." "They cut those little holes for us so we can see what the hell is going on." "But if they don't cut those holes, we are climbing those fences." "Right over there. "What are you using, the steel girders down here?"" "Yeah, that'll hold." "I had to say something." "Had to say something." "Everything was going so well." "I had to say something." "I don't think you did anything wrong." "I told her I liked her." "Why?" "Why did I tell her I like her?" "I have this sick compulsion to tell women how I feel." "I like you." "I don't tell you." "We can only thank God for that." "I'm out of the picture." "I am out of the picture." "Matter of time now." "You're imagining this." "Really." "Oh, no." "No, no." "I'll tell you when it happened too." "It's when that floss came flying out of my pocket." "What floss?" "When?" "In the lobby, during the intermission of the play." "I was buying her one of those containers of orange drink." "For $5." "I reach into my pocket to pay for it." "I look down." "There's this piece of green floss hanging from my fingers." "Mint." "Of course." "So I'm looking at it." "I look up and see she's looking at it." "Our eyes lock." "It was a horrible moment." "I just...." "So let me get this straight." "She saw the floss." "You panicked, and you told her you liked her." "If I didn't put floss in my pocket I'd be crawling around her bedroom right now, looking for my glasses." "You sure the floss was the catalyst?" "Yes, I am." "You don't think it might have had anything to do with that?" "What, you don't like this?" "Looks like your belt is digesting a small animal." "They got a cure for cancer." "See, it's all big business." "Oh, hey!" "." "Jerry just walked in." "Hi, George!" "." "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "Take my number." "It's 555-8643." "Okay." "Here he is." "Who is it?" "Take it." "Who is it?" "It's for you." "Hello?" "Oh, hi, Joel." "No." "I was out of town." "I just got back." "Kramer doesn't know anything." "He's just my next-door neighbor." "Nothing much." "Tuesday?" "Tuesday, no." "I'm meeting somebody." "Wednesday?" "Wednesday's okay." "All right." "I'm a little busy right now." "Can we talk Wednesday morning?" "Okay." "Yeah." "Right." "Thanks." "Bye." "Why do you put me on the phone with him?" "I hate just being handed a phone." "Well, it's your phone." "He wanted to talk to you." "Maybe I didn't want to talk to him." "Well, why not?" "He bothers me." "I don't answer the phone anymore because of him." "He's turned me into a screener." "Now I gotta see him on Wednesday." "What?" "I thought we had tickets to the Knick game Wednesday." "We got seats behind the bench." "What happened?" "We're not going?" "We're going." "That's next Wednesday." "Who is this guy?" "His name's Joel Horneck." "He lived, like, three houses down from me when I grew up." "He had a Ping-Pong table." "We were friends." "Should I suffer the rest of my life because I like to play Ping-Pong?" "I was 1 0!" "." "I would've been friends with Stalin if he had a Ping-Pong table." "He's so self-involved." "That's for me." "Kramerica Industries." "Hi, Mark." "No, no." "Forget that." "I got a better idea." "A pizza place where you make your own pie." "Can you conduct your business..." "...elsewhere?" "No, I'm talking about a whole chain." "Yeah." "I don't know why you bother with this Ping-Pong guy, I tell you." "I don't bother with him." "He's been calling me for seven years." "I never called him once." "He's got the attention span of a 5-year-old." "Sometimes I sit there and I make up things just to see if he's paying attention." "I don't understand why you spend time with this guy." "What can I do, break up with him?" "Tell him, "l don't think we're right for each other."" "It's a guy." "At least with a woman there's a precedent." "The relationship goes sour, you end it." "No, no, no." "You have to approach this as if he was a woman." "Just break up with him?" "Absolutely." "You just tell him the truth." "The truth?" "No." "As a guy, I don't know how I can break up with another guy." "You know?" "I don't know how to say:" ""Bill, I feel I need to see other men."" "Know what I mean?" "There is nothing I can do." "I have to wait for someone to die." "I think that's the only way out of this relationship." "It could be a long time." "See the great thing about guys is that we can become friends based on almost nothing." "Just two guys will just become friends just because they're two guys." "That's almost all we need to have in common." "Because sports and women is really all we talk about." "If there was no sports and no women, the only thing guys would say is:" ""So, what's in the refrigerator?"" "So my shrink wants me to bring my mother in for a session." "I mean, this guy is a brilliant man." "Lenny Bruce used to go to him and I think, Geraldo." "I read the Lenny Bruce biography." "I thought it was..." "Hey, hey, hey!" "." "We're starving here!" "." "...interesting..." "We've been waiting here 1 0 minutes." "...that he would...." "So I'm thinking about going to Iran this summer." "You know, I have to eat." "I mean, I'm hypoglycemic." "Anyway, the Hezbollah has invited me to perform." "It's their annual terrorist luncheon." "Yeah." "I'm gonna do it in Farsi." "Do you think I need a haircut?" "Are you ready?" "Yeah, I'll have the egg salad on whole wheat." "Hey, let me ask you a question." "This turkey sandwich here is that real turkey or is it a turkey roll?" "I don't want that processed turkey." "I hate it." "I think it's real turkey." "Is there a real bird in the back?" "No, there's no bird, but" "How do you know for sure?" "Why don't you do me a favor." "Why don't you go in the back and find out, okay?" "Unbelievable." "How can you talk to someone like that?" "Look, what are you saying?" "What, you like turkey roll?" "Listen, Joel." "There's something I have to tell you." "Wait." "You'll never guess who I ran into." "Howard Metro." "Howard Metro." "He asked me if I still saw you." "I said, "Sure, I see him all the time." "We're still great friends." Anyway, Howard says hello." "Listen, Joel." "I don't think we should see each other anymore." "What?" "This friendship, it's not working." "Not working?" "What are you talking about?" "We're just not suited to be friends." "But how can you say that?" "Look, you're a nice guy." "It's just that we don't have anything in common." "Wait." "What did I do?" "Tell me what-- I want to know what I did." "You didn't do anything." "It's not you." "It's me." "It's" " This is very difficult." "Look, I know I call you too much." "Right?" "I mean, I know." "You're a very busy guy." "No, it's not that." "You're one of the few people I can talk to." "Look, come on." "Now, that's not true." "I always tell everybody about you." "I tell everybody to go see his show!" "." "I mean, I'm your biggest fan." "I know, I know." "I mean, you're my best friend." "Best friend?" "I've never been to your apartment." "I cannot believe that this is happening!" "I can't believe it." "Okay, okay, forget it." "It's okay." "I didn't mean it." "Didn't mean what?" "What I said." "I've been under a lot of stress." "Oh, you've been under a lot of stress." "Look, just" " Can we just forget the whole thing ever happened?" "I'm sorry." "I didn't mean it." "I took it out on you." "We're still friends." "We're still friends." "Still friends." "Okay, look." "I tell you what." "I got Knick tickets." "This Wednesday." "Great seats behind the bench." "You want to come with me?" "Come on." "Tonight?" "No, next Wednesday." "If it was tonight, I would've said tonight." "You really want me to go?" "Yes." "Okay." "Here, take these." "Okay." "Great." "That would be" "That'd be great." "So..." "...next Wednesday." "Next Wednesday." "Say, where is that waitress?" "Hey!" "She calls me up at the office." "She says, "We have to talk."" "The four worst words in the English language." "That or, "Whose bra is this?"" "That is worse." "So we order lunch, and we're talking." "Finally, she blurts out how it's not working." "Really." "So, I'm thinking, as she's saying this, I'm thinking, "Great." "The relationship's over, but the egg salad's on the way."" "So now I have a decision." "Do I walk or do I eat?" "You ate." "Sat there for 20 minutes, chewing." "Staring at each other in a defunct relationship." "Someone says, "Get out of my life."" "And that doesn't affect your appetite?" "Have you ever had their egg salad?" "It is unbelievable." "It's unbelievable." "Tell you what else is unbelievable." "I picked up the check." "She didn't even offer." "She ended it." "The least she could do is send me off with a sandwich." "How much could you possibly have in there?" "Look, it's my money." "All right?" "What should I do, throw it out the window?" "I know a guy who took his vacation on his change." "Yeah?" "Where'd he go?" "To an arcade?" "That's funny." "You're a funny guy." "Come on, move up." "Great." "Ewing's hurt." "How long is he gonna be out?" "Well, a couple days at the most, but...." "Oh, God." "I got scared there for a second." "The Knicks without Ewing." "Listen, George." "A little problem with the game." "What about it?" "The thing is, yesterday I kind of...." "What?" "I gave your ticket to Horneck." "You what?" "Yeah." "I'm sorry." "I had to give it to Horneck." "No." "My ticket?" "You gave my ticket to Horneck?" "Come on." "Go ahead." "Move up." "What did you give him my ticket for?" "You didn't see him." "It was horrible." "Oh, come on, Jerry." "I can't believe this!" "I had to do it." "Oh, please." "Can you change this into bills?" "I'm sorry, sir, we can't do that." "Do you want to go with him?" "You go, I don't mind." "I'm not going with him!" "I don't even know the guy!" "Look, they did this for me before." "Look, I can give you these, and you can roll them yourself." "You want me to roll 6000 of these?" "What, should I quit my job?" "No, I do not like the bank." "I've heard the expression:" ""Laughing all the way to the bank." I've never seen anyone actually do it." "And those bank lines." "I hate it when there's nobody on the line at all." "You now that part?" "You go to the bank, it's empty and you still have to go through the little maze." ""Could you get some cheese for me?" "I'm almost at the front." "I'd like a reward for this, please."" "Thirty-two, 33" "George." "Not now, 33...." "Thirty...." "Could you stop the counting?" "What?" "Can I make it up to you?" "I'll give you $50 for the jug." "Oh, yeah, sure." "Keep your money." "Well, then I'm not gonna go to the game either." "Okay, I'll give him both tickets." "Go." "Go!" "I" " No, I don't want to go." "He was really crying?" "I had to give him a tissue." "In fact, let me call his machine now, and I'll make up some excuse why I can't go to the game either." "Wait." "Wait a minute." "As long as you're gonna lie to the guy why don't you tell him that you lost both of the tickets." "Then we can go." "George, the man wept." "Hey, guys." "Man, I'm telling you, this pizza idea is really gonna happen." "This is the thing where you go and you have to make your own pizza?" "We give you the dough." "You smash it." "You pound it." "You fling it up in the air." "And then you get to put your sauce and sprinkle your cheese." "And then, you slide it into the oven." "You have to know how to do that." "You can't have people shoving their arms into a 600-degree oven!" "It's all supervised." "Oh, well...." "All of it!" "You want to invest?" "My money's tied up in change." "You know, look." "I'm telling you." "People, they really want to make their own pizza pie." "I have to say something, with all due respect." "I just never-- I can't imagine anyone in any walk of life, under any circumstance wanting to make their own pizza pie." "But that's me." "Well, okay." "That's you." "I'm just saying." "I just wanted to check with you guys." "This business is going to be big." "I just want to" " Okay." "One day, you'll beg me to make your own pie." "Hi, Joel." "This is Jerry." "I hope you get this before you" "Oh, hi, Joel." "Oh, you just came in." "Listen, I can't make it to the game tonight." "I have to tutor my nephew." "Yeah, he's got an exam tomorrow." "Geometry." "You know, trapezoid, rhombus." "Anyway, listen, you take the tickets." "They're at the will-call window." "And I'm really sorry." "Have a good time." "We'll talk next week, okay?" "Yeah." "Yeah." "I don't" " Fine." "Fine, bye." ""Trapezoid"?" "I know." "I'm really running out of excuses with this guy." "I need some kind of excuse Rolodex." "Come on." "Let's go do something." "I don't want to just sit around here." "Wanna get something to eat?" "Where?" "I don't care." "I'm not hungry." "We could go to one of those cappuccino places." "They let you just sit there." "What are we gonna do there, talk?" "We can talk." "I'll go if I don't have to talk." "Then we'll just sit there." "Okay, I'm gonna check my machine first." ""Picking someone up at airport, jury duty..." "...waiting for cable company."" "Okay, just hand that over, please." "What is this?" "It's a list of excuses." "It's for that guy Horneck, who's at the game tonight with my tickets." "I have that list now, so in case he calls, I just consult it and I don't have to see him." "God." "I need it." "What are you doing?" "I got some for you." "Oh, I don't need any more." "No, no, no." "These are good." "Listen, listen." ""You ran out of underwear, you can't leave the house."" "Very funny." "How about you've been diagnosed as a multiple personality?" "You're not even you." "You're Dan." "I'm Dan." "Can I have my list back, please?" "Here." "Here." "Jerry Seinfeld, I cannot believe you are doing this." "This is absolutely infantile." "What can I do?" "Deal with it." "Be a man." "Oh, no." "That's impossible." "I'd rather lie to him the rest of my life than go through that again." "He was crying." "Tears, accompanied by mucus." "You made a man cry?" "I never made a man cry." "I even kicked a guy in the groin once, and he didn't cry." "I got the cab." "A couple of tough monkeys." "Hi, Elaine." "Hey, you missed a great game tonight." "Game?" "Knick game." "Horneck took me." "We're sitting two rows behind the bench." "We were getting hit by sweat!" "Wait." "How does Horneck know you?" "Last week, when I, you know, gave you the phone." "He's really into my pizza place idea." "This is too much." "Wait." "What pizza place idea?" "You get to make your own pie." "That sounds like a great idea." "It would be fun." "Kramer!" "Yeah!" "Perfect." "Hey!" "Okay, who wants meat loaf?" "No, thanks." "No, no." "It's gonna be hot in a minute." "So I thought you were tutoring your nephew." "We finished early." "I'll bet." "So are you going to introduce me to your nephew?" "Elaine Benes, this is Joel Horneck." "Whoa, Nelson." "This is Elaine." "I thought you guys split up." "We're still friends." "So...." "Thanks again for those tickets, But next week, I'm gonna take you." "How about next Tuesday night?" "Why don't you come along." "Oh, no, no." "Tuesday's no good because we've got choir practice." "Right." "Forgot about choir." "Yeah." "We're" " We're doing that evening of Eastern European national anthems." "Right." "You know the wall being down and everything." "Well, what about Thursday night?" "I mean, they're playing the Sonics." "Thursday is not good because we've gotta get to the hospital to see if we qualify as those organ donors." "I should really try something like that." "You really should." "Well, let's just take a look here." "Forty-one home games." "Let's see, Saturday night we got the Mavericks." "If you don't like the Mavericks, next Tuesday, Lakers." "I mean, you gotta like Magic, right?" "Now, let's see." "On the road, on the road, on the road...." "Back, back on the 1 4th." "They play the Bulls." "You can't miss Air Jordan...." "I've come to the conclusion that there are certain friends in your life that they're just always your friends, and you have to accept it." "You see them." "You don't want to see them." "You don't call them." "They call you." "You don't call back, they call again." "The way to get through talking with people you have nothing in common with is to pretend you're hosting your own little talk show." "This is what I do." "Pretend there's a little desk around you." "There's a little chair over there, and you interview them." "The only problem is, there's no way to say:" ""Hey, it's been great having you on the show." "We're out of time.""

"One of Norma's breakfasts." "Made special." "God bless Norma." "Maybe later." "Maybe later, thanks." "How's things at the station?" "Earle's chess game is the big concern." "The man has a poor sense of recreation." "Yeah." "We're holding up, for now." "Hey, you and Cooper can handle it." "It's a pretty simple town." "Used to be." "I guess the world's just caught up to us." "Annie." " Hi." " Hi." "Shelly, this is my sister, Annie." "Hi, Annie." "Welcome." "Norma's told me all about you." " All about me?" " Shelly's like family." "With our family, that's not exactly a character reference." "How did you and Mom get along?" "Well, we can talk about her, or we can feel good about things." "I vote for plan B." "Me too." "I'm glad you're here." "Feels a little strange." "The real world." "Little things, like I'd almost forgotten how to use money." "Closest we'd get in the convent was bingo chips." "No charity, Norma." "Promise." "Don't worry, I'm gonna work you till you drop." "Compelling." "Harry's about to hit bottom." "Is he eating?" "When do you think he'll come back to work?" "I guess we'll find out soon." "Need a hand?" "That's a question I should be asking you." "You're the senior lawman, Cooper." "Let's just let the rain fall as it has been." "Besides, I hate paperwork." "This is worse than the Bureau, with all its international documentation." "Eckhardt, Josie..." "This is the autopsy on her." "Doc Hayward said he couldn't determine cause of death." "The body only weighed 65 pounds." " How is that possible?" " I don't know." "Maybe something to do with what I saw in the room when she died." "Maybe we'd better just whistle on our way past the graveyard." " Yeah." " Anything on Earle?" "Trail's stone-cold." "Still waiting for his response." " Slip." " Slippers." "You know, Leo, you can't really appreciate how tonic country life is until you're actually right here, living it." " Pipe?" " Splendid." "Mm." "Even if you've been to the country before, when you try to imagine what it would be like to go back, the image is imperfect." "The mental image is always imperfect." "Am I right?" "Tacit agreement is acceptable, Leo." "Your silence speaks volumes." "Or if not volumes, at least the occasional unpunctuated paragraph." "Well, let's see what move our poor Cooper's come up with this time." "Uh-huh." "This isn't a move." "This is a trick." "He's playing a stalemate game." "Cooper doesn't know the meaning of stalemate!" "He's getting help." "I cannot tolerate people who do not play by the rules." "People who shirk the standards!" "Many people are going to regret this." "Got it?" "Ladies, may I say, you'll both delightfully represent the sanctity of nature." "Cigarette?" "I prefer to keep my chest clear." "Ah." "The great god, fitness." " Have you spoken with Pinkle?" " What's a Pinkle?" "He's giving a talk on the pine-weasel." " The endangered animal." " Oh, lovely." "What is it?" "A raccoon or something?" "A ferret." "Audrey?" "Oh, great." "You two should coordinate." "You are dreaming." "Hello." "Looks like you're trying to run lumber upstream." "How can I help you, Mr. Wheeler?" "Horne." "Well, the talk that we had at dinner." " I can't..." " I'm sorry, I was rude, wasn't I?" "It's just that when it comes to my family, I get a little excitable." " Who am I to waltz in out of nowhere?" " We need help." "Anyone can see that, and I can't think of anyone better qualified for the job than you." "Hello?" "What are we talking about, anyway?" "I was apologizing and you were apologizing." "We're both real sorry about something." "You wanna go out somewhere?" "Bad time, right?" "It's not good?" "Oh, no, no, it's great." "How about a picnic?" "Uh-huh." "Um, we need outdoors stuff." "A basket, blanket..." "Food." "I don't know how to cook." "I'll bet you someone in the kitchen does." "This is just to show people what the pine-weasel looks like." "I understand the concept perfectly, Mr. Dinkle." "Pinkle." "The name is Pinkle." "But what I'm trying to make clear is that using a stuffed animal to represent an endangered species as an ecological protest constitutes the supreme incongruity." "Well, that's clear, Dick." "Harry?" "Hey, Coop." "We got Josie's dossier in from Interpol." "Not interested." "In addition to killing Eckhardt, trying to kill me" " and killing Jonathan in Seattle..." " Closed cases." "...she's also wanted for a variety of felonies in Hong Kong." "I don't need to hear this." "She's also had two prostitution arrests, Harry." "Harry, eventually it's gonna help you to know she was a hardened criminal." "A killer." "Get out of here." "I know it's not easy right now." "Just get out of here." "Get out of here!" "Go!" "The door was open." "A country habit." "We're all so trusting." "My name is Jones." "I was executive assistant to the late Mr. Eckhardt." "Thank you." "I've come to expedite the transport of his body back to Hong Kong." "Tragic, what happened." "You know, he really did love Josie." "Didn't we all?" "They're going to be buried side by side." "So they can keep an eye on each other." "I guess you have your reasons to be bitter." "Oh, just call me a healthy skeptic." "Now, why did you really come to see me?" "I came here to give you a gift." "May I?" "I don't think so." "Slowly." "From Thomas." "I have a few things to tidy up." "Then I'll be leaving tonight." "Good luck, Mrs. Martell." "Excuse me, I'm looking for Bill or Eileen Hayward." "Well, they're not here right now." "Can I help you?" "Well, I'm Dr. Gerald Craig, an old friend of Will's from medical school." "And, well, you see, I have a convention in Spokane, and so I just thought I'd swing by and surprise them." "Which daughter are you?" " Oh." "Donna." " Donna." "Would you like to come in, Dr. Craig?" "I'd appreciate that." "Can I get you something to drink, Dr. Craig?" "A pop or something?" "Thank you, no, no." "Uh..." "Is this your local paper?" "Yeah." "Pretty small town, huh?" "Now, don't knock small towns until you've lived in the city." "Donna, you know, it seems like Will has found himself a little piece of heaven here." "Now, don't you have two sisters?" " Yeah, they're younger than me." " Are they both as beautiful as you?" "Heh." "Well, I don't know." "You know, your dad and I, we used to sit around and try to figure how our lives would work out." "And it seems like he's come a little closer to the mark than I have." " You're in high school?" " Unfortunately." " I felt exactly the same way." " Heh." "You know, high school is difficult, you know." "You have no idea what you want to do with your life, so it seems that absolutely none of it applies to your life." " You're right." " Heh, heh." "Well, don't worry." "It'll all work out." "For now, you just enjoy it in all its absurdity." "Okay." "Oh, I have a small gift for your dad." "Now, can I trust you not to open it?" " Sure." " Ha, ha." "You know, speaking of school," "Will and I graduated 30 years ago this month." "So I..." "It's a small remembrance for him." "Well, I should be on my way." "Oh, this is the number where I'm staying." "I hope to see you later, Donna." "Me too." "How are you holding up, Pete?" "I've been through every stalemate game in recorded history." "And I've jerry-rigged a few of these country standoffs that they don't write about in books." "But it's no use." "I mean, there isn't a stalemate game on earth that you don't lose at least a few foot soldiers." "I mean, the classic Herbstman." "You wind up with six pieces." "Now, I can improve on that." "But even if I get there in half the time and wind up with 12, that means six people die." "Do your best, Pete." "Windom Earle's genius carries with it the vice of impatience." "He doesn't want pawns." "He wants royalty." "Protect those, particularly the queen, and we can frustrate him." "You can't do that." "My students." "Mr. Martell, Andy moved his knight without doing the little hook thing." "You don't have to do the little hook thing." "That's optional." "Andy, the knight has to do the little hook thing." " Every time?" " It's a privilege." "No one else gets to make that move." "Okay, Mr. Martell." "I guess some people don't know quite as much as they think they do." "Check." "We thought it best we come see you." "As you know, that pattern on the back of my neck appeared during my experience with..." "Of course, no idea as to how it got there." "And you noticed it today?" "My log noticed." "I remember." "What do you remember, Margaret?" "Look at the back of my leg." "I was 7 years old." "I went walking up in the woods, and when I got back, I was told that I had disappeared for a day." "All I could recall was a flash of light, and that mark was on my leg." "We all three recall the light." "And also the call of the owl." "Yes, I remember." "The only other time I saw that sight and heard that sound was right before my husband died." "In the fire." " I'm connecting with something." " Yes." "What?" "I don't know." "Oh, bury me not" "On the old prairie Where the coyotes howl" "And the wind blows free" "In a narrow grave Six-by-3" "Don't bury me now" "On the lone prairie" "Um..." "No one's ever sung a song to me before." "You must have been serenaded at least once or twice." "I don't inspire much singing." "Most boys are afraid." "Well, they don't know you, then." "Not really." "I don't think anybody really knows me." "It sounds like a warning." "I know." "If there's another guy..." "There was someone, but not anymore." "There's nobody." "So, what do you wanna do now?" "Know anymore cowboy tricks?" "If you've got a lariat in that picnic basket," "I could lasso passing cattle." "I don't think there's a cow for miles." "Stray dogs, raccoons, birds, weasels." "You had a visitor." "Who's that?" "Somebody you went to medical school with named Gerald Craig." "Gerald Craig?" "That's not possible, Donna." "Well, yeah." "He said he was on his way to a convention in Spokane." "He knew everything about me." "Here's his number, and this." "Gerald Craig was my roommate." "He drowned on a rafting trip on the Snake River." "I was there, Donna." "I tried to save him." "Well, then..." "It's a cemetery." "Knight to King's Bishop 3." "That man, he's very dangerous." "Don't let him in here again, do you understand?" " Sure." " I've gotta take this to Cooper." "Nadine, what I'm here to say to you is, uh..." "Seeing how you're with Mike now..." "It's so cute the way you get embarrassed." "And, uh, since I have found someone else..." "Nadine, I'm not sure you're gonna understand this." "Of course I understand, Eddie." "This isn't just a little spat." "Nadine, um, do you know what Ed is suggesting?" "It's not too obvious." "We're not, like, talking relativity here." "We're breaking up." "Major, final breakup." "Well, yes, technically, I guess it is a breakup, but, uh..." "Well, it's a little more than that, Nadine." "Ed, you are so serious." "These are the dating years." "You're acting like this is some really big deal." "Doc?" "Ed, there are no secret tricks or magic words." "It's like the dissolving of scar tissue around a wound." "She'll start to see reality again when her mind begins to feel safe." "Well, when will that be?" "I can't say." "That tissue's packed in there pretty hard." "Okay." "Well, one thing I really don't wanna see, Ed, are any incidents with Mike." "No jealous rages." "Well, maybe just one." "I give up." "Nadine, you and Ed are about to get a divorce." "I think I've gone blind in my left eye." " Shelly?" " Yeah." "Have you seen this?" "Oh, "Miss Twin Peaks."" "Oh, you've gotta be kidding me." "There's a cash prize and a scholarship." " I bet you could walk away with it." " I don't think so." "It's easy, you give a speech, you answer a few questions..." "Miss Double R Diner, what would you do to bring about world peace?" "Well, I would bring all the world leaders together, make them form a circle and join hands." "Because you can't make a fist" " holding hands." " You're a shoo-in." "I have an order up." "Here's your burger." "What's with the dance?" "Oh, heh, my boss told me I should enter a pageant." "Miss Twin Peaks." "You can kid about it, but you are very pretty." "I think you should enter it." "Thanks, but I don't think of myself as pretty." "It's an inner thing, you know." "Would you like something to drink?" "Yes, I'd like a cup of deep black joe, please." "Coming right up." "You must be Norma's sister." "I'm Annie." " How did you know?" " Dale Cooper." "Local law enforcement." "Must keep you pretty busy." "Sure does." "Are you, uh, staying in town for a while?" "I might be here quite a while." "It's happened to me." "Looks like it's grown on you." "It has a way of doing that." "I made it a little strong." "Okay." "You made it just right, Annie." "We've got a problem at the Book House." "Agent Cooper, Hawk, the sheriff's gone off." "He's broken every piece of furniture not nailed down." "I honestly don't know what to do." "It's okay, Andy." "Hey, Deputy Dale." "How's business?" "Well, Harry, it's a little complicated at the moment." "That's the good thing about the law." "It doesn't breathe." "You can't kill it!" "Harry, I've got an idea." "Why don't you hand me that gun?" "I don't believe I've ever handed my gun over to anybody in my entire life!" "This might be a damn fine time to start." "You know something else I've never done?" "I've never crossed the ocean." "Never got to China." "She came to me." "And she made everything better." "Everything so much better." "Harry." "Your life is still your own." "Josie didn't take that with her." "I should have gotten her away." "I should have taken her away from here!" "I loved her." "She didn't have to die." "I don't understand." "There's a whole lot I don't understand." "We're all like that." "Have somebody keep an eye on him tonight." "I've never seen him like this." "It was like taking a hike to your favorite spot and finding a hole where the lake used to be." "Josie had power." "A man who doesn't love easily loves too much." " A good man." " The best." "Keep going." "That's a special honeymoon suite for Mr. and Mrs. Hinkman?" "Uh, that's correct." "Yes." "We're from Bozeman originally." "But my wife thought that it would be nice to see the countryside." "And, you know, you have some very pretty country here in Twin Peaks." " Will you be with us long?" " Not long enough." "No, just until tomorrow if that's okay, because we're going deep-sea fishing." "Oh, goody." "Okay, so we'll just be going on up now, me and..." " Me and Mrs. Hinkman." " Oh, is that Mike?" "Susan, uh, how are you?" "Fine." "Um..." "I'll see you at school." "The room, please." "I think we can handle the bags." "First of all," "I would like to thank all of you for this marvelous turnout." "It's very gratifying to see so many people who are sincere about their environment." "The Stop Ghostwood campaign is a determined effort to keep the rabid development interests from trying to turn our beautiful Northwest forests into a monstrous amusement park, destroying animal preserves which have been undisturbed for centuries." "The little worlds that serve as sanctums for several endangered species, not the least of which is the little pine-weasel." "Before moving along," "I would just like to remind all of us that ecology is not a luxury science." "It is not about pleasant appearances." "It is about survival." "About whether we are all going to make it, period." "But not to understate the value of visual pleasure, we come to the fashion show." "Now, if any of you think you recognize some of the models, it's because they are concerned members of the community who have graciously given of their time tonight." "So, ladies and gentlemen, to kick things off, here is our host," "Richard Tremayne." "Thank you." "Splendid gathering." "Our little Lucy is wearing a delightful mix of warm Northern comfort and Southern insouciance." "An elegant worsted wool jacket over a plethora of plaid, with a hint of polka dot." "It's fabulous, isn't it?" "A moonless night, black, slim skirt with a look that always says, "Hey, world, I'm here."" "Mr. Brennan is wearing a fire-engine-red turtleneck beneath an all-wool plaid Pendleton shirt." "He completes this look with his red-and-black buffalo-checked jodhpurs." "For the man who wants to make a statement while retaining that casual feel, whether he's out mastering a task or riding the breeze of a chance meeting." "That's it, Andy." "At this rate, we're running late." "So if we could all sort of hurry Richard along with some quick movement out there." "I'm hot in this thing." "You're hot?" "I'm dressed like a sheep." "All this worsted." "And I think Mr. Tremayne is getting more than a little hot with all these girls." " Our next model..." " Go, go, go." "Well, if it isn't John Muir, friend of the redwoods." "Catherine, how good of you to come." "Ben, darling, who are you kidding with all this?" "I am absolutely 100 percent sincere." "Oh, come on." "Look who you're talking to." "We're in the same line of work." "You've always been a little more obvious, but this..." "Catherine, ahem, have you ever, in your entire life, had an experience that truly changed you?" "Please, spare me the born-again sales pitch and level with me." "You can't hope to stop my development plans, so, what do you actually expect to gain from all this?" "A first scrubbing on one of the dirtiest consciences in the entire Northwest." "And hopefully, it will happen to you." "Catherine," "I know what your plans for Ghostwood are." "And granted, I used to see life exactly the way you do." "And no matter how many deals I made or how much money I made, inside, I was still a black, miserable clod of dirt." "I am finding that the one thing that really affords you joy in life, the only authentic thing, is giving." "Don't wait until you're on your deathbed to find that out." "God help you." "You actually sound like you mean it." "I do." "For you, for me, the future." "Catherine, why don't you take this opportunity to transcend a lifetime of megalomania and egocentricity, and write us a big fat check to help stop Ghostwood?" "Mwah." "And now to introduce you to an endangered little critter whose home is presently under attack by the proposed Ghostwood development project, Mr. Tim Pinkle." "Thank you, Dick." "Thank you, thank you." "Well, hi, how's everything going?" "That's good." "Um, ladies and gentlemen, I have with me a little fellow who doesn't understand the peril that awaits him." "An innocent in a world gone mad." "A world gone mad." "Ahem." "Without further ado, ladies and gentlemen," "I give you the endangered pine-weasel." "Now, this species is of the weasel family." "And not only is he nonaggressive to us humans and has beautiful fur, but also, he is by nature an excellent controller of rodents." "Unfortunately, this little friendly fellow is incredibly curious, making him very easy for one to trap." "He is also attracted to bright shiny objects." " Must be my studs." " Yeah." "Oh." "Oh." "It also is amazing, he is particularly attracted to various smells, like, believe it or not, very cheap cologne." "Oh, what's this?" "I think it wants to give you a kiss, Dick." " Oh, please, Mr. Pinkle." " Come on." "Come on." " It's all right, give him a kiss." " A kiss?" "Uh-huh." "Attaboy." "Come on." "Hello there, little pilgrim..." "Oh, no, no, no." "Nobody panic." "Don't panic." "He's completely harmless." "He's already endangered." "Don't panic, anybody, just don't panic." " Nobody panic." " Please, everyone, calm down." " Stay in your seat." " Aah!" " You all right?" " I'm fine." "Lot of fuss over a loose weasel." " Maybe we should help." " I don't know." "A little excitement might do this crowd some good." " Did you come for the fashion show?" " No, I came for you."

"♪♪ [ Love Will Turn You Around ] [ By Keeny Rogers ]" "♪ You can run You can hide ♪" "♪ Never let it inside ♪" "♪ Keep livin' your life in the dark ♪" "♪ But sooner or later that gentle persuader ♪" "♪ Is gonna catch up with your heart ♪" "♪ Make you a dreamer ♪" "♪ Believer ♪" "♪ Believin' in love ♪" "♪ Right when a man's doin' all that he planned ♪" "♪ And he thinks he's got just what he needs ♪" "♪ Life will deliver a shock that will shiver ♪" "♪ And drive him down to his knees ♪" "♪ Make him start givin', ♪" "♪ Livin' ♪" "♪ Livin' again ♪" "♪ Well it's your mind ♪" "♪ That tricks you in believing' every time ♪" "♪ Love will turn you around ♪" "♪ Turn you around ♪" "♪ Well, its your heart ♪" "♪ That talks you into to stayin' where you are ♪" "♪ Love will turn you around ♪" "♪ Turn you around ♪" "♪ Love will turn you around ♪" "♪ Turn you around ♪" "♪ Turn you around ♪" "Hey, pop!" "How about 10 bucks worth of regular while I use your john?" "No." "Hey!" "Anybody out there?" "Can anybody hear me?" "I'll get this son-of-a-bitch open." "Holy shit!" "Oh..." "Not my new engine." "Oh, great." "Warn me Lord." "Damn!" "Don't you like it?" "I was that loud." "No, I meant, chilli." "It's OK." "I guess I'm just not very hungry." "Anything else then?" "Bring me another coke and change the station for me." "Sure." "Two chocolate shakes and two burgers to go, well done." "Shake two browns, two clays to walking, kill them." "Now..." "I'm Lucy." "I'm Brewster." "May I ask you a question?" "Long as is personal." "You live around here long?" "Why?" "You're goin' to take me away?" "Not what exactly what I have in mind." "I know what you got in mind." "And I liked it." "But, I'm working." "Lucy, I got a problem." "Like I told you." "Wait 'til after work and I'll solve it for you." "Now, I just bet you could, do you?" "Someone stole some parts of my car this morning." " Suppose is there any chance that maybe..." " About time I get back to work." "Damn!" "They've done it again!" "Hey, come back here!" "You forgot the check!" "What about my tip?" "I'm calling the cop, you hear?" "So..." "Son-of-a-bitch!" "Oh, shit!" "Hey!" "Hurry up!" "My God!" "Those are just kids." "Come on." "Come on." "Give me your hand." "Give me your hand." "Here we go." " Breezy, come and get me!" " Hey!" "Little Harry's still out there." " Come and get me, Breezy!" " Little Harry!" "Hurry up, mister!" " Come on, mister." "Get him!" " Get him!" "OK, kid." "You OK?" "Get on my back." "Wait a second." "OK, get on." "Put your hands around my neck." "Hurry!" " Come on!" " Come on, hurry!" "Hurry up!" "Hurry up, mister." "Hold on." "We got you." "You wanna die, mister?" "Oh, God." "I hope so." "Damn!" "Mister, you look like shit." "But, put it there anyhow." "Wouldn't for you, I've lost my kid brother." "Hey, what the hell?" "My parts are on that truck." "No, sir." "They were already been delivered." "Delivered to who?" "Oh, you're not talking , huh?" "So, we'll see how much talking you do when we get to your parents, OK?" "Hold it, damn it." "That's our truck sinking out there." "You'll get your truck back when I get my parts back, all right?" "Come on." "Thanks to you guys, my trailer hitch is screwed up too." "Look, if we can fix it, it ain't broken, all right?" "Take it easy mister." "That ain't no lie." "Where is this thing, uh...?" "There you see your hitch is jammed." "That's all." "It's easy." "OK, count on Harry." "One thousand one." "One thousand two." "One thousand three." "One thousand four." "One thousand five." "One thousand six." "One thousand seven." "One thousand twenty two." "One thousand twenty three." "One thousand twenty four." "One thousand twenty five." "All right." "There it is." "How's that, mister?" "My brothers don't mess around." "That's Doc." "He's the family genious." "This is Louis." "He does the heavy work." "That's Steven, our accountant." "I don't like being an accountant." "That's little Harry." "He's too small that he makes step time thing." "We call him that after our Pa, big Harry." "And this is Swifty." "I guess we call him a mouth piece." "And I am Heather." "I just do the driving." "It's Breezy." "Heather." "We're the Akins family." "Call her Breezy." " Heather." " Breezy." "Hold it." "Come here." "Where do you guys live?" "Back the way we came." "OK, I want two of you to help me hitch up this trailer." "I want the rest of you in the camper, now." "Good to go!" "Home sweet home." "OK, where are your folks?" "I told you they ain't here." "If they're not here, where are they?" "They're just not available." "Not in a while." "I see six bunks." "What's going on here?" "Our truck's washing away in the red river." "That's what's going on." "I don't wanna hear another word about that truck." "You understand?" "That smart mouth of your is gonna get you in trouble, boy." "We're already in trouble." "You don't know anything about being in trouble." "I don't find out what you did with my parts," "I'm gonna sling all six of you in the state reformatory in Houston." "What is the form-story?" "It's a place for bad little boys." "It's a jail." "I don't wanna go to no form-story." "Me neither." "You ain't gonna sling messy-morning in crummy places." "That ain't no lie." "Me either." "Holy shit." "It's big John." "Don't tell him we told you nothing, mister." "Who's big John?" "Get your asses out here on the double." " Who is big John?" " Stay in here, please." "Just stay in here." "What the hell you got in here?" "You suppose to strip cars, not steal them." "Ain't that same rig you stripped down at over Twellenger station?" "It's quite of scam you got going, sheriff." "Who the hell are you?" "You should know, you got all my parts." "You'll have the hell of the time proving anything." "Take a blind judge of your brother-in-law not see what you're up to." "Let me waste some John." " Let me lamb blast him." " Shut up Otis." "I'm black you fell in to a real thick pile of beans, boy." "We got you for... break in and exit at over Twellenger." "And the second degree larceny at the diner." "Whatever else I can think of." "Cuff him." "Hey, take it easy." "You're gonna read me my right?" "What about my phone call?" "Oh, sure." "Let me get you a dial tone." "Add "resisting arrest" to that list, Otis." "I knew I think of something." "Ah-ha!" " Bingo." " Oh!" "Whoo-whoo-whoo." "Un-dork-a-dee!" "Whoo-wooh!" "I need a red seven." "Ooh, red seven, come on home to papa." "Ah-dee." "What you're doing here, boy?" "Bringing some food for the prisoner." "How come?" "'Cause he saved my brother's life." "That's how come." "What you got there?" "Fruit." "Fruit?" "Let me see that." "Ain't one of your tricks, is it?" "No, sir." "Ain't nothing but fruit here." "I thought for a second you tried to pull a fast food." "How do you like that for a fast food?" "Easy boy." "Take it easy." "It's real gun you got there." "On your knees, cowboy." "You kidding." "Oh, my God!" "You're not kidding." "Don't shoot." "Please, don't shoot." "I'm on my knees." "I'm on my knees." "See?" "I can't..." "I can't do this." "I do what he says if I were you, Otis." "Are you sure these bullets are real?" "Wait." "Hey, hold it..." "What you gonna do?" "You gonna kill me?" "You know it's not a bad idea, Otis." "Lucky for you, I am a non-violent man." "Let's go." "Holy shit!" "It's big John." "OK, here." "Otis!" "You got in progrip, boy?" "I want to get a crack at your paycheck before your while get a hold of it all." " Oh." " Otis!" "Oh..." "Lord Almighty, what happened to you?" "We gotta the hell out of here." "Cool out." "The boys are doing something." "What are you talking about?" "These guys are crazy." "That sheriff is gonna blow that door off the hinge any second now." "I told you so." "Where the hell are those kids?" "OK, pedal it." "Come on." "I don't get a vote." "This is piece of cake, boy." "There!" "How long we got?" "How long we got for what?" " What are you guys uo to, now?" " Come on." "Break it." "Go!" "Count down ten." "Ten." "Nine." "Eight." "We got you, boser." "Don't hitch." " Three." " Oh, my God!" "Two." "One." "Hey, Lord Almighty!" " It's working!" " All right!" "Yeah!" "All right." "Nothing but clear highway behind us." "He'll fire us." "Whoa!" "What's with this radio?" "That thing's been broken for two years." "What's the fuck can fix it if it ain't broken." "I guess you leaned that by now." "Not very much I don't know about car." "My Pa was the best mechanic in the west Texas." "That ain't no lie." "You have a bathroom in here?" "I did have." "I took it out when I put my office in the back." "Could you pull over?" "Little Harry's got to go." "Be careful." "Slow." "OK, go ahead." "You're a race car driver, mister?" "I used to be." "I might have been again if I didn't run into you guys." "Why you quit in the first place?" "What happended?" "He might be in a bad crash." "Probably nearly killed his ass." "Maybe, he lost his nerve." "Nah." "It was the booze." "Turned in to a slash." "Slug, Harry." "A no good lousy Alfie." "It was a woman." "Must be a woman broken his heart." "A washed-up, broken hearted, chicken shit, acky bumb." "God!" "What imagination!" "I don't suppose one of you guys would want to tell me how you start stripping cars, wouldn't you?" "Our folks were killed in a wreck." "And we got kicked out of our house." "But, we had to keep eating." "So,..." "Doc stripped a car one night out front of Twellenger." "And big John caught us." "And set you up in business." " Yeah." " Yeah." "Uhuh." "So, that's how you became a big time crooks, huh?" " Right." " Yeah." "You know, you could have called a county authority or something." "Wrong." "Big John told us he'd bust us up." "He says our relatives are all over." "Uncle Pete at Spokey." "Aunt Harriet at Lentz." "And Aunt Ester who I was in a bath to go I can't always she smells." "Where?" "You know why." "Heat rotten her feet or something." "And nobody or nothing's gonna bust us up." "That ain't no lie." " Where're headed?" " Shreveport." " Take us there?" " Oh, no." "I told you Breezy." " Son-of-a-bitch wouldn't listen." " Watch your mouth Shifty." "It's Swifty!" "SWIFTY!" "You toad sucker." "Shut up Swifty." "You got to take us to Shreveport, mister." "I'm taking you to the next town, period." "But, all these small Texas towns are the same." "They all just call big John." " Please." " Please." "Please." "Please." "Shreveport." "And that's it." " Yeah." " Yeah." "Good." "Still beating." "So, wake me up when we got to Shreveport." "I don't wanna miss nothing." "Hee-hee yah!" "Whoa!" "Wait for it." "Whoa!" "Come on, guys." "Don't look at me like that." "Now, we talk about this." "You're gonna spend the night in a motel... and tomorrow morning... you go down to the bus depot, four blocks away, you take your bus anywhere in the world you want to go." "I'm trying to get back in the race after two years." "That requires a 100% concentration." "I don't need one thing to distract me." "Let alone six." "Whoa!" "What are we gonna do, now?" "♪ There's a big brown cloud in the city ♪" "♪ And the countryside's a sin ♪" "♪ And the price of life is too high to give up ♪" "♪ Gotta come down again ♪" "♪ When the world wide war is over and done ♪" "♪ And the dream of peace comes true ♪" "♪ We'll all be drinking that free bubble up ♪" "♪ And eating that rainbow stew. ♪" "♪ When they find out how to burn water ♪" "♪ And the gasoline car is gone ♪" "♪ When an airplane flies without any fuel ♪" "♪ And sunlight heats our home ♪" "♪ One of these days when the air clears up ♪" "♪ And the sun come shining through ♪" "♪ We'll all be drinking that three bubble up ♪" "♪ And eating that rainbow stew ♪" "♪ Eating rainbow stew with a silver spoon ♪" "♪ Underneath that sky of blue ♪" "♪ We'll all be drinking that free bubble up ♪" "♪ And eating that rainbow stew ♪" "All right party." "Hey, Brewster!" "How're you doing?" "Oh, yeah." "What's up Doc?" "♪ You don't have to get high to be happy ♪" "♪ Just think about what's in store ♪" "♪ When people start doin' what they oughta to be doin' ♪" "♪ They won't be booing no more ♪" "♪ When a president goes through the white house doors ♪" "♪ An' does what he says he'll do ♪" "♪ We'll all be drinking that free bubble up ♪" "♪ And eating that rainbow stew ♪" "♪ Eating that rainbow stew ♪" "Watch it cowboy." " Howdy, Bug." " Oh, oh, oh." "Oh, you always have an interesting way of saying 'hello'." "As I remember, you never particularly dislike my 'good-bye' either." "Well, one thing I can say about you when you say good-bye,... you mean good-bye." "Sorry about that." "I don't know what happened." "Ms. Lilah." "Would you OK this check, honey?" "Yeah, sure, Eddie." "I can't tell you how many time I want to just pick up the phone..." "Hey, Brew, you're gonna win tomorrow?" "I'm gonna try." "My life was so screwed up that day, you know?" " Just..." "I couldn't..." " Hey, Brewster!" "Come on over." "I'll be there in a minute." "No, I guess what I'm trying to tell you." "Come on, Brew." "Why don't you go be with the boys?" "And I'll talk to you later, OK?" " Hey, Bug?" " Hmm?" "I got better idea." "I relly have missed you, you know?" " Here." " All right." "I got it." "Give me half-inch." " Here." " Beautiful." "Give me another half-inch." "Louis, go get those tires over there." "Come on." "Start the clock, Harry." "A car's coming." "A car's coming." "There cupping wheeler." " Someone is coming." " All right." "Slow him down." "OK, what's the up time?" "Ten, nine, eight..." " What's that?" " Whoa!" "Hey!" " Fire!" " We're gonna tell someone." " Hey, let's have another pitcher up here." " Hey, a fire out there." " Fire?" " What?" "Fire?" "Come one." "Time!" "Time." " Doc, they're coming." " You got the tires?" " There's wild bash..." " You're not gonna make it." "Just give me ten seconds." "Jesus!" "Here." "Give me a hand." "Come on." "It sure is lucky that fire didn't get near our cars." "Or we all will be running around that track tomorrow." "How did it get started?" "Probably, some drunk cowboy put the button in the dumpster." "Well, excuse us boys, but... this man needs a good meal and a place to lay his pretty head." "Yeah, excuse us boys." " Put its main frame" " Right." "And you left six kids in the middle of nowhere?" "No, I wouldn't call a motel middle of nowhere." "What you expect me to do?" "I don't know." "If they were my kids, I really wouldn't appreciate if somebody just..." "Honey!" "They're not your kids, honey." "I know." "And certainly, not my kids." "My God, can you imagine people on the road with six kids?" "I can't even take care of myself." "Yeah, well, I know that." "Look at me." "Do I look like a father to you?" "Uh-huh." "Maybe, because you look like everything to me." "Hey, Brew!" "Wake up." "I'm coming." " Our cars had been stripped." " What?" "They got Stan's new tires, they got my gearbox, they got Hank's carburetor." " I'll be right out." " Brew." "You've been hit real bad." "Be right out." "Yes, I know-I know the same little bastards to try to get even with me." "Brewster?" "I've ever found the skunk who'd done it," "I'm gonna bend monkey wrench over his brain pan." "Well, whoever ripped us off is half way to New Orleans by now." "I don't know about you guys, but... if I don't hustle up some parts, I'll be watching this race from the stands." "See you guys later." " All right, Brewy." " So long, Brew." "What the hell you think you're doing?" "We just thought we got your car back in shape before we left." "At the least we can do." "I don't suppose it daunts on you, people are making a living on these?" "I mean, what if somebody stole your partools?" "Someone once did." "Oh, when these guys find out what you've done." "They'll never know it was you." "Those stupid son-of-a-bitch aren't that smart." "So far as they know, you got stripped too." "Look guys." " Breezy." " Heather." "You guys were gonna leave last night." "Adios, good-bye, farewell." "That was our deal, remember that?" "We don't make deal with ex-cons." "We all only try to help." "Well, can't give the parts back." "Maybe, I can sell them to get the guys some money somehow." "So, out." "Every body out." "Could you at least take us to the interstate?" "We can hitch from there." "I'll take you to the interstate." "But, I gotta get rid of these parts first." "Over here." "We know." "Yeah." "Just so you don't get any idea." "Hey, Clarence!" "Hey, hey, Brewster!" "Hey, man, where you've been hiding?" "I got some parts for you." "Hey, that's good." "I can always do for parts for me." "They're out on my van." "You wanna help me get them?" "Sure." "Hey, come on in while I get my keys." "Where've you been hiding?" "I haven't seen you in a long time." "We were you racing in the Baton Rouge those years." "I heard about your crash?" "It probably scared me more that hurt me." "Don't you get in a race after that?" "I almost did." "I went out to California." "I just ran around on somebody dirt track out there and..." "Little bastards." "You got anything else I can drive?" "Nope." "I just sell parts." "I ain't got no whole car." "I catch you later, Clarence." "I gotta find the way to track and fast." "Clarence!" "Can you give me a hand over here?" "Clarence." "I got a funniest feeling, he's gonna need that." "Hey, thanks." " How about a ride to the track?" " Sure, hop in." "Dog don't bite." "He's friendly." "We got a race coming up here folks." "The best cars, the best drivers, the fastest qualified..." " Turn it off." " in time we ever had." "Why, they sure came through for you there." "What Lilah sees in you, I'll never know, Brewster." "Hey, Brew." "Whay do you pay your crew with, all day suckers?" " Hold it." " Hold it." "Hey, Brewster." "What do you think?" "Hot, huh?" "I think you guys are gonna get us all killed." "Well, when you see those cars parked in them crates there, we just naturally thought you want to get started as soon as possible." "See how you got your race coming up pretty quick, right?" "Yeah." "You see now your car got screwed up like Hogen's goat?" "Yeah." "You mean you guys have those parts crated in here?" "We did have things come in as ordered." "The driver let me sign." "I said I was your daughter." "And nobody else asking any questions?" "There was some comment about you and someone named Lilah." "Who's Lilah?" "Lilah's friend of mine." "That's what we figured." "Come on, Brew." "Why don't you take her out for qualifying?" "Yeah." "You said you want to make a come back." "This car is hot." "I'll say it is." "If you have, Brew, you got a chance." "Besides, you can use the prize money to pay back your buddies." "He ain't gonna do it." "I know he wouldn't do it." "Yellow belly, gutless slob." "Okay." "Once and for all, I'm gonna show you guys stripping cars and fish bite fall in Arkansas, won't make it in a Louisiana track." "All right." "Out of sting." "I like to direct your attention to the track now." "We got car number fourty-nine, coming out on the track." "The driver, owner, Brewster Baker, back on the circuit after two years out of competition." "Let see if Baker can qualify on his first attempt from the come back trail." "The best time of two laps." "Well, Baker seems to very determine as he gets the green flag..." "Baker is driving a Chevy Camaro." " Yeah." " Come on." "High bid of qualified time under 18 seconds." "Time for Brew Bake's first lap, 15.42 seconds." "That would ensure his spot in the starting line up." "Coming up, Baker's second flag now..." "Oh, Baker's qualified time is 17.38 seconds." "He'll be starting back in the pack, but at least, he qualified." "On the track now is car number 101." "The driver is Alvin Crowe, a consistant winner here at Shreveport." " How did she run?" " It's OK." "That would qualify fifteen in the field of twenty." "All right." " Change the gear, we're running too high." " We're running the five-ten now." "Make it five-eighteen." "Give it two bounds left in left rear." "The race starts in 30 minutes." "Come on." "Get ready for the start of Dixie 100 folks, the feature race here at Shreveport." "The cars will take one lap before the green flag." "It's freak day for racing and freak field of cars and drivers." "You got Harley Crommer Nipol with Stan Johnson next to him." "And it would count upon the green flag, folks, we're about to get under way." "And there's the green glag." "And the race is on." "Johnson in car number thirty, Keith Toricalvin in car number one." "Ron Dawson in car number twenty-eight." "Time?" "18.2 seconds." "Car number 101 got the big challenge by Stan Johnson in car number 30." "Ok, Crowe in car number 101 is still in first place." "Johnson in car number 30 in second." "But, he is being challenged in every turn by Ron Dawson in car number 28." "Quickley in the 17 car in fourth." "Joe's driving the Pontiac number 53 in fifth." "Ron Dawson takes the lead." "Time?" "54.9 seconds." "Folks, this is gotta be the most exiting Dixie 100 in history." "Brewster Baker in car number 49 has been moving up to the field." "He's now standing seventh." "Leslie Fermit car number 18 is trying to get the grip on sixth place." "Three cars are out of the race." "Yes, the twin Rick Jones and Rick Berk all out of the race." "There's the green flag." "We have four laps to go." "It's Johnson in the lead, Dawson in second, and Crowe in third." "And here is the surprise." "Brewster Baker is up there with the leaders in fourth place." "An incredible ride for the man on the come back trail." "And we cross the finish line." "Johnson has won here at Dixie 100." "Dawson takes second and Crowe third." "Baker is in fourth, Palansy in fifth." "What and exciting race folks!" "And none of the drivers in the freeway track was injured, ladies and gentlemen." "Great Brew." "Son-of-a-bitch did pretty good, didn't he?" "Did pretty good." "Fourth place, you call that pretty good?" "You were great Brew." "You were sure fantastic." "Thanks." "Hey, guys!" "Hey, you won Stan." "Sure got tire of chasing your ass's bit." "Hey, fourth ain't bad." "How did he expect?" "Here you go guys." "All right." "Pay day." "You know, it could have been a lot more if I hadn't had paid those guys back for those parts you stole." "What they have said?" "You guys are damn lucky, they didn't call police on you too." "It fells good having little green in the pocket, doesn't it?" "The lille mind ties down." "Where's your gear?" "It's inside." "Don't you think you better get it?" "Brewster, you ain't gonna leave us here." "Yeah, he's leaving, Harry." "But, Brewter, we got to stay with your car." "Hold it." "Shreveport was the end of the line." "That was our deal." "And he keeps his deal." " Howdy Bug." " Hi." "Just come looking for you and say 'so long'." "He's good at that." "Breezy, this is the Lilah we've been talking about." " Hi, Heather." " Hi." "Hey, you guys want the iceream cones before you leave?" " These kids are good machanics." " Humm." "I know." "Hey, what did you say your relatives are from?" "All over." "Eight chocolate chips, please." "Make mine a banana split." "Add some large nuts, please." "Any other guys want banana split?" "Oh, come on, guys." "Cheer up." "Hey, I got an idea." "I'll take you to the airport, put you on an airplane, buy you tickets to see your relatives." "You know, I'm really jealous of these guys." " They got to go to Hawai." " No shit, Dick Tracy." "I bet that's the same mouth you eat out of." "Here's your cones." "Banana split will be ready in a minute." " OK." " Seven-eighty." "Nah, just keep the chance." "Here you go." "Brewster, don't you want to stay with us?" "Well, I like to, Harry." "But, what I'm gonna do with six kids?" "I'm not father material." "Tell him, Bug." "You're doing just fine." "We ain't get wait neither." "Get the hell out of here." "We'll find our own way." "Come on." "Let's get our stuff." "Wait a minute." "Does that mean you don't want me to take you to the airport?" "At least, the son-of-a-bitch can hear." "Hey, guys." "Come on." "I'm really trying to help you." "Tell him Bug." " Shove it, mister." " Don't you talk to her that way." "He's talking to you, mister." "Oh, hell with you guys." "Find your own way." "The airport is out of my way anyhow." "I'll call you later, Bug." "You no good, rotten, washed up, fork tongue, black hearted, double dealing, backstabbing, alci bum!" "Ok." "It's OK." "We could've been great together." "All right, all right." "All right, all right." "Every body is doing OK." "Hey, Brewster." "I think I know what your trouble is." "What's that?" "Well, your caburetor ain't harden, your generator ain't in it, and your piston ain't..." "well, it ain't working either." "That's real cute." "How did those kids do this thing." "Oh, no." "It can't be." "Welcome to your nightmare." "Look, who's back." "Bob Barker and the boys." "We got no choice but to stick with you till the better thing turns up." "It's only way we can stay together." "And Lilah agreed." " Oh, Lilah agreed?" " Uhuh." "You want to correct her style." "She sends her regard." "She does, huh?" "What do you think?" "Give us a chance to get this car going?" " Please." " Please." "Please." "Please." "Please." "Please." "I can give you piecing like old times." "Last week's old times?" "Look, guys, if I do this." "It's under one condition." "Nobody touches another's driver's car." "I want no five finger discount, understand?" "It's easy." "No problem." " Terk, can I take your picture?" " Yeah, go ahead." "Ahah hah." "Well,..." "If it isn't the famous Brewster Baker." "A bunch of midget for the pit-crew." "Hey, sorry, Brew." "I mean it's saddest thing I've ever seen in my life." "If you want the money, all you have to do is ask, you know?" "The check book way." "To see my old boss come to, uh, something like this." "Kiss off, mister." "You did very well down at Shreveport." "Like easy pop to what?" "Fourth?" "Huh?" "Must have been a lot of dead meat in that race." "Kick his ass, Brewster." "Don't take that shit from this fungus faced toad sucker!" "I'd tell the little punk there that, uh... he shouldn't be talking to me like that if I were you." "He's right, Swifty." "Be polite." "Mr. Logan here's a very sensitive man." "On second thought, I got a good mind to turn this little kid loose and let him just whip your ass, Terk!" "That's funny, Brew." "Yeah, that's real funny." "That's good one." "You know what?" "I'd look out tomorrow if I were you." "'Cause I'm gonna be out on that track." "Just waiting for you to screw up." "Just once." "If... you qualified, that is." "Hey, Terk." "Shove it." "Who the hell is he?" "I don't think he lies you much." "He don't like anything much." "He don't like winning, he don't like loosing,... and you're right, he don't like me." "What did you do to him?" "Nah, it's not what I did to him." "It's what he did to me." "See, he was my chief mechanic for a year." "But, what he really wants to do is drive." "So, he told my sponsors I was loosing my stuf." "And he played around with my car a little bt too." "You didn't know?" "Not until it was too late." "He rigged my breaks till it deak two years ago." "I crashed into the wall." "So, my sponsors dropped me and conveniently picked up Mr. Logan." "That's one bad dude." "He's real bad." "Shit." "He don't scare me." "Oh, he don't, huh?" "Well, just the same we're gonna stay away from the Terk, aren't we guys?" " Breezy?" " Heather." "Aren't we?" " Yeah." " Yeah." "Oh, yeah, Brewster." "You know you're gonna need a new set of heads." "You got a hair line crack in yours." "That's two thousand dollars." "We can make through another race with those." "All right." "I know you guys may think that grown men should not be frighten." "I tell you, I was scare to death." "It was the fastest I had ever driven in my life." "And we were side by side." "And old Billy Flint crashed through the wall... and was sailing out in this lake." "And in this dark murky water, that we all knew had an alligator in it." "Alligators." "Then there come old Billy Flint, just to gurgle in for air." "And they stop the race." "Holy shit!" "Then up come this man eater... jumping up with the head the size of a shovel... and the body the size of washing machine." "I mean this mother was big." "And there was a big swirld of black water." "That was the last we ever saw... of poor Billy Flint." "You know what we did find when we pull his car out of the mud?" "What, Brew?" "We found alligator teeth the size of cut silver dollars embedded in the fender." "And no tires." "I mean that alligator was so mean, he ate the damn tires." " Yuck!" " Yuck, man!" "You know what?" "I bet that's why they made handbugs out of alligators from this part of the country." "I don't get it." "Because of their rubber content." "That's what make them water proof," " you goons." " Ah, we know you're crazy." "I don't be lieve that." " You guys,..." " Ready for bed, every body." " How do you...?" " You guys believe everything." " Guys." " Good night, Brew." "Good night guys." " You need to be cool." " I love it." "Nothing better than a bunch of suckers." " Brew?" " Yep." "Have you talked to Lilah, lately?" "Yeah, why?" "I don't know." "She's just real nice." "Good night." "Good night, Breezy." "Hey, Brewster!" "Hi, Loni." "I miss you around here." "You miss anything in this place." "Ha!" "They don't make them like you any more, cowboy." "I notice that." "And make me hungry." "Yeah." "Younger and cheaper." "You do anything later?" "Yeah, I'm makeing phone calls." "You kidding me?" "Well, if you change your mind." "You know where to find me." "Hey!" "You're the famous Terkitch." "Well, you've found him." "That me." "My name is Bobby E. Lee." "Thay named me after the General." "Yeah?" "Tell me." "What a pretty thing like you doing in here this time of night?" "Bobby E. Lee." "Well, it's just so hot and muggy out tonight... and I was just dying for a cool drink." "And I spotted you under the car there looking so hot yyourself." "And I said "Bobby Lee, you ought to accept what for a cool one"." "Well now, this is my lucky night." "Let's say, uh... we go to my trailer." "I mean, we'll pour a few beers and..." "I'll show couple of things that I got." " Ive seen you drive." " Yeah?" "Yeah." "And I like the way you shift your gears." "I bet the girls can't keep their hands off you." "Enough of the Terk to go around, girl." "Hmm, that's for sure." "You stand here and watch the door." "Here it is." "He had the manifold, Doc." "Stupid son of a bitch is just making it easy." "Give me a five-eight." "All clear." "That's one hell of the tattoo." "Yeah." "Bobby E. Lee." "Uh-huh." "It's cute name." "What was that?" "I didn't hear nothing." "Well, I did." "I didn't hear nothing, except the beat of my own heart." "I better go check it out." "Why don't you..." "check me out instead?" "I do like what I see." "Well, I just... help you out this little thing, huh?" "Why don't I... help you... out?" "Be my guest." "I'm waiting, girl." "Why don't we... go back there?" "I think that's good idea." "Watch out." "A mirror above the bed?" "I just can't believe my good fortune." " What's that?" " Huh?" "What the hell..." "Ow, God..." "Damn!" "Damn." "Go to the bathroom?" "You want a soda?" " No." " No." "You go to bed?" "Shit." "I thought you guys were going to bed when I left." "Where did you go?" "We've been out." " To movie." " Bowling." "Yeah, we were at the movies." " Yeah, we were just..." " Oh, really?" "What movie did you see?" " Strong Man." " Dracula." "Don't give me that crap." "You don't get dirty hands going to the movies." "Where have you been?" "And just where the hell have you been?" "You suppose to be here taking care of these kids." "Breezy, come back here." "What are these guys doing out this time of night?" "That boy is seven years old." "He has no business..." " Damn it, Breezy, I'm talking to you." " Don't yell at me." "What we do is our business." " What you..." " Brewster, don't be mad." "You guys go inside." "I'm dealing with your sister right now." "I'll be back and talk to you." "You get in bed." "Breezy!" "Breezy." "Breezy!" "Breeze, where are you?" "Oh, shit." "That ain't no lie." "You've ever done anything you're ashame of?" "It's just..." "I got thing inside of me..." "I can't stop, probably." "Like what?" "Last night, when I was walking..." "I didn't even think about the boys." "Not once." "I kept thinking about myself." "I want..." "I want to be with kids my own age." "I want to go to high school." "I want a boyfriend." "I want..." "Oh, you'll think it's dumb." "Oh, I don't know." "Try me." "I want..." "I want to be a cheerleader." "I don't think it's dumb at all." "Still don't want to lose those time." "Those're good time alright." "Do you think that's selfish?" "Nobody who has ever seen you with those kids... would accuse you of being selfish." "Brew?" "If I really run away last night,... would you be taking care of the boys?" "I don't know, Heather." "Well, at least, you know my name." "In our 50-lap race with 35 cars all over the south," "And now back, action on the track." "Buck Carter in car number 19 and Ralp Barnes got tangled up on that back stretch and now, we're under a caution." "This Biloxi track always seems to provide it share of thrills." "Now, we're back on the green flag." "Looks like Cater can get back in the race, but..." "Barnes is going to have to watch the rest of the race from the infield." "Go!" "Brewster Baker is making a move now, bringing his car all the way from ninth position to challenge Terk Logan for third place." "Baker is in car number 49, Logan in car number 73." "Still out front is 30th car of Billy Johnson with Johnny Dolenvack in close second." "Baker makes his move to pass Logan in car 73." "But, Logan cuts him off." "They race side by side in the turn 1." "Big stroke in ths race folks, just for the third place." "Logan and Baker are upon each other coming out of turn 2." "Now they bump head in front of the grand stand." "Billy Johnson has gotten the lead," "Baker and Logan continue challenging each other all the way down that stretchway." "You're gonna have a family fortune bet on this one because it's gonna be a real deal by the only way." "Logan blows his engine and he has to ready take his car off the track and into the infield." "Billy Johnson is still out there..." "Brewster Baker in second," "Johnny Dolenvack is third in car number 14." "Logan got out of his car." "He's all right." "Bt, he's one frustrating driver, since everything was going..." "I'm gonna get you Baker." "Checker flag is..." "And that's full of races for today, folks." "And see you all next Saturday at 2 O'Clock." "Gates open at 10." "Bye now." "Drive careful, you hear?" "Get out of the way." "Get out of the way!" "You fat thack!" "Swifty, get Terk." "Get away." "Kids, let me have him." "Get up." " Kick him." " Get out of the way." " Kick him where..." " Bastard!" "Kick him, on his leg." "Get on him Louis." " Louis!" " Bite him." " Shit!" " Get off my back, Louis." " Get him." " Get them off me!" " Get the kids out of here." " Kick him." "Get you Baker" " Come on." " Get him, Brewster." "Hurry up." " Brew!" " Turky!" "Get you Baker." "You..." " Come on." " Easy, come on." " Take it easy." " Let go of me." " Come on." " Hey!" "." "Brewster." "They showed up my car last night." "You and rat cracks." "Chicken, blacky egg sucker." "Bobby Lee, huh?" "Well, we can take to you, Baker." "Where we can park you into a space, right?" "You son-of-a-bitch!" "Boy!" "Where you learned to fight like it." "You really nailed that slicky bastard." "The look on his face and you cocock him." "I loved it." "So, let me make sure I understand this now." "Bobby Lee here... gets Terk out of the way while you guys work on his car, right?" "Yeah." "Just what did you do to his car, anyhow?" "Simple." "We switched your crack head with his new." "It's only a matter of laps before he blew it." "Sure enough." "Boom!" "You go back there, young man." "What is wrong with you guys?" "Who the hell am I talking to?" "But, Terk's rat, Brew." "Hey, stealing is stealing, Pal, and I don't want to be any part of it, OK?" "I don't wanna beat Terk... unless I am the best driver with the best car." "Not by cheating." "As for you, young lady." "I don't want any more of crazy stunts like you pulled, last night." "I promise." "Cross my heart, hope to die." "Cat spit in my eye." "If the bastard is lucky." "And while you at it, you can watch your language." "You know what that sounds like coming from a kid?" "Sorry, sir." "Good." "Hey, Doc." "Read me the race's schedule for next week." "See, uh, Kansas City?" "No, it's too far." " Watkins Green." " That's too far too." "Tampa, Nashville." " Hold it." " Jackson." "Hold it." "Nashville." "How far down does the Nashville pay?" "Down to fifteen." "That's it, Brewster!" "Drive it 'till you hear glass and smell shit!" "What you say, mister?" "I said..." "Where are we going, sir?" "Nashville." "♪ Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm ♪" "♪ Home sweet home to me ♪" "♪ Good ole Rocky Top ♪" "♪ Rocky Top Tennessee ♪" "♪ Rocky Top Tennessee ♪" "♪ Once two strangers climbed ole Rocky Top ♪" "♪ Looking for a moonshine still ♪" "♪ Strangers ain't come down from Rocky Top ♪" "♪ Reckon they never will ♪" "♪ Corn won't grow at all on Rocky Top ♪" "♪ Dirt's too rocky by far ♪" "♪ That's why all the folks on Rocky Top ♪" "♪ get their corn from a jar ♪" "♪ Rocky Top, you'll always be ♪" "♪ Home sweet home to me ♪" "♪ Good ole Rocky Top ♪" "♪ Rocky Top Tennessee ♪" "♪ Rocky Top Tennessee ♪" "This is a great ride for Baker, folks, coming all the way up from the 7th spot." "Looks like Baker is back for sure." "We're in the final lap for Gabbery 200 here at Nashville speedway." "And now they get the checker flag." "It's car number 49, Brewster Baker in first place." "A Vodka." "Honey, Tina." "Don't go down there." "It's kind of crude down there." "The way I see it, we got half." "How much is that?" "Well, we got 3400 dollars." "And we need 6800." "That's 10% of 68,000." "Read it again Steven." " I like the way it sounds." " Okay." "On rural route #2 outside the Nashville, near school, it's a beautiful 5 bedrooms, two and a half bathrooms garage, dining, porch, gas kitchen, washer, dryer." "It's a steal. 68,000." " All right." " Yeah." "If that car running good, we'll have it." "OK guys." "Let's wash up for diner." "OK." "That's it." "Little Harry." "What do you guys up to, now?" "It's just family power." "Nothing to worry about." "Breezy, wait, wait." "Come on, little Harry." "We'll be washing up." "And Brewster Baker takes the checker flag in the Pensacola 215." "Folks, we've seen the race today." "Johnsman Tankerman and Brewster Baker for the 2nd and 3rd." "Roswell old Charlie's menu." "Come on, take the menu." "We're proud of you, Cahrlie." "That's our Roswell welcome." "That's really great." "You're doing good." "You're great." "I want you all here next Friday." "With Brewster Baker in the commanding lead here at the Raleigh Speedway." "Brewster has lead from the green flag unchallenged." "Brewster Baker does take the tenon flag here at Raleigh Speedway." "At Birmingham International Raceway." "With Baker and the Terks fighting it out for every inch, every advantage." "This is been quite a day for the Chevey driver, back after two years off the circuit, driving against his own former head mechanic." "It's bumper-to-bumper right down to the finish line." "They bump each other as they come out of turn number 4." "And here the checker flag, and it is baker." "$4,000 pay day for a man off the circuit for two years." "Welcome back Brewster." "A real story on and off the track, folks." "Here's Baker to receive his trophy from Miss Birmingham, a lovely Melody Calhoon." "Mr. Baker!" "Mr. Baker!" " Brewster!" " Where's my crew?" "Brewster!" "Ted, where're the kids?" " Two tuneups just picked them up." " What?" "They asked for the whole damn thing." "Terk turned them in." "They said some sheriff was coming for them." "Said that was wanted woods." "Take care of my car, would you?" " Oh, hold it." " Mr. Baker, I am Sam Pinsky." "Sorry, I can't talk right now." "I'm gonna real to go in." "I'm with Ford." "And like you, I'm getting back into racing." "We got grand national car, we're looking for a driver." " Ford, out of Detroit?" " Yeah." "I like you to drive for us, you and your six pack." "Are you kidding me?" "No, Mr. Baker." "I'm one the left." " Sorry, mister, uh..." " Pansky." "I just got a lot of things in my mind right now." "We got a entered in Atlanta 500." "Call me tomorrow at the Pixie-Five." "The number is right down at the back of the card." "If you're interested." "Yes, ma'am." "He posted his own bail this morning." "Howdy, ma'am." "Sheriff John Stone." "I'm here to pick up my chargees... and run them back to Texas." "Well, yes, sheriff." "You know, I love them little young ones... like that my very own." "I bet you do." "Here, these release forms need to be signed, interpreted," " Uh-huh." " then give them to the deputy in there." "Uh-huh." "You know?" "..." "If you're my pretty little filly," "I get a good mind to kiss you smack down on the mouth." "Take you in my arms and wash you clean across the state of Texas." "You seeing me." "I'm sheriff John Stone and I'm here to pick up my chargees." "Howdy, ma'am." "I'm sheriff John Stone." "I'm here to pick up my chrgees and run them back to Texas." "Brew, you were great." " We thought we was gone for sure." " Well, that ain't no lie." "Yeah." "Looking at some hard time." "Thanks." " Oh, that's all right." " Uh-huh." "Actually, some good friends of mine did me the same kind of favor once." " And besides." " Besides what, Brew?" "God, I hate to admit this." "I'm getting used to having you guys around." "Yeah." "All right." "Should I check the Auto week schedules?" "Nope, that won't be necessary." "Why not?" "Because I'm taking my chargees to Atlanta." "500?" "That's grand national race." " I know." " Yeah, man." "What are we gonna do for a car?" "I don't know." "Maybe, we can steal one." " Oh, really." " Oh, yeah." "Yeah, man." "God, I don't believe it." "♪ How do you know when to stay or to go ♪" "♪ And how do you know when it's real ♪" "♪ You don't need a sign to make up your mind ♪" "♪ You got your heart at the wheel ♪" "♪ You wanna start sharing', ♪" "♪ Carin' ♪" "♪ Carin' again ♪" "♪ Well it's your mind ♪" "♪ That tricks you in believing' every time ♪" "♪ Love will turn you around ♪" "♪ Turn you around ♪" "♪ Love will turn you around ♪" "♪ Turn you around ♪" "♪ Turn you around ♪" "Here you go." "You're not gonna believe this, but that the way the little Fozy Bee got rid of heels high." "Say, you still have to do the one" " about..." " Safety." "Irish astronaut?" "He went through very intensive training along side with his partner for the flag, a gorilla called Toby." "The blasted off right on schedule." "Both the gorilla and the Irish" "One." "In an envelope contained the instructions which they went over at 5 miles" " Two." " in space." "Three." "Four" "Come on, all the way." "Seventy one." "Seventy two." "Seventy three." "Seventy four." "Seventy five." "Ahhh." "That's real good, but you're still fat." " Sixty two." " Seventy three." "Don't be a fool, Brew." " Seventy..." " Sixtry four." " I used to be young too." " Sixty five." "...six." "Ninety seven." "Ninety eight." "Come on." "Ninety nine." "No cheat!" "No cheat!" "Yeah, Rocky." "Rocky." "Now, let's go eat." "That's Brewster Bake taking his number 49, Ford Thunderbird deep in the turn number 3." "Now he pulls right down to the bottom of the race track, the short way around this Atlanta International Raceway switch it up toward the wall on the turn 4 and down to the strive" "Brewster Baker takes a checker flag and ensures himself on a good spot in the final of the 500 miles that gets under way on Sunday." "A fine qualified round for Brewster Baker." "Hey, Brew." "Great job." "Thanks, buddy." "It flats at 37 seconds, and..." " Man, you were great." " Yeah!" "You were steady fast." "How we do?" "Right now, we're in 7th position." " All right." "Yeah." " Yeah." "Fantastic." "And we get some bad news." "Swifty, Steven, little Harry, they're gonna let you guys in the pit crew." " We lose csome weight for what?" " Look, I'm sorry." "I'm sorry." "There is very strict rule about the age." "You guys are just too young, ok?" "Swifty, you'll be right here at the fence, monitoring the signal and you two guys will be the lap counters." "This is very important." "I need you there." "OK?" " OK." " How about you, kid?" " OK?" " OK." "Oh, guess what else?" "Gues who is in 8th position?" "Who?" "Mightily splendid the Terks." " Oh, no." " That slogan that said out with you?" "Oh, man." "It's OK." "It'll be just like old time." "OK, sixty eight." "Sixty nine." "Seventy." "Seventy one hundred dollars, enough for the down payment." " And a bit more." " All right." " Who makes the call?" " Louis." " Why me?" " You got the lowest voice." "Uh, yes ma'am, we're minors." " That's right, uh..." " What he say?" " Yeah, but... but..." " He said, we're minors." "What's that?" "Underage." "What is it?" "What?" "I got bad news and I got real bad news." "Talk normal." "What's so bad?" "They won't sell to anyone under 21." "It's gotta be an adult who signs the papers." "How about Brewster?" "He'll sign." "He likes us." "It doesn't matter anyway." "The real bad news is it's already been sold." " Our house?" " Yeah." "Sold?" "♪♪ [ Hello I Love You ] [ By Crystal Gayle ]" "♪ Hello, I love you ♪" "♪ Hello, again ♪" "♪ You are my sunshine, ♪" "♪ shine on again ♪" "♪ This is the moment, ♪" "♪ my life one bored ♪" "Brewster!" "Brewster!" "Hi, Deanna." "Stay and keep me warm until the morning..." "Just where do you think you're going?" "You're not leaving, are you?" "I gotta my beauty sleep tonight." "Ah!" "You had never left before." "I know." "But tonight is different." "♪ You are my sunshine, ♪" "♪ shine on again ♪" "♪ Hello, I love you ♪" "♪ Hello, again ♪" "Hi, Brew." "Howdy, Bug." "I was just trying to call you." "Yeah, I see." "Uh..." " I thought you weren't coming." " Well, I want to surprise you." "Well, you surely did that, honey." "You girls know each other?" "No, but it looked like we were related in a way." "With working in the Honky Tonk?" " Hi, I'm Deanna." " Hi, hi, I'm Lilah." "Well, I guess I should be getting back to work." "Godd night, Brew." "Good luck tomorrow, now." "See you, Deanna." "You're lucky you've been called a bun." "Oh, no." "No chance." "I only got one bug." "Were you really trying to call me just now?" "I swear I was." "I know this looks strange." " Oh." " Well, I w..." "I don't why I came here in the first place, to tell you the truth." "I hate these places." "The truth is I'm not trying to be somewhere talking to you, even on the phone." "So, what are we doing here?" "Great round, Brewster." "Did you ever expect you'd be back in big time racing so soon?" "Yeah, Carl." "I didn't do it all by myself." "Beleive me, I got a lot of help." "You're talking about your crew, the kids they call the 'Six Pack'?" "Yeah, the kind of work they've done on this car," "I think I my very well have a shot at it this year." "Great." "Brewster Bake." "A man who thinks he's got a real chance at Atlanta 500." " Good morning." " Morning." "Make sure these kids get to the track by 7:30, OK?" " Uh-huh." " See you later." "Come on, guys." "You want to move your truck?" "No, no." "All right." "Get out." "Ahh!" "Jesus Christ!" " All right." " Let me play with him." " Hold him" " I got him now." "Hit him, hit him." "Come hee you." "Look over there." "Where the hell is he?" "I don't know." "But, I got a bad feeling." "Don't say that, Doc." "They're gonna be calling the cars to start pretty soon." "What are we gonna do then?" "He'll be here." "Brewster would never lets us down." "Hold it." "Wait, hold it." "Pull over." " You got it." " Slow down, slow down." "Pull over here." "No wait." "Hold it." "Check him out, this guy." "Hey, my man." "Where're you going?" "We run the raceway." "Oh, the races." "Yeah, we're headed there too, man." "Come on in." "Come on, get on there." " I'm racing there." " Yeah, right." " Sure, you are." " Yes, I am." "Yeah, right." "Hiya guys, what time is it?" "We ain't have the time, man." "Great." " Whoa!" " Wanna hit, man?" "No, I..." "I never touch this stuff." "Oh, that's OK." "I'll hold it for you." "♪ Whatever we'll be, we'll be. ♪" "♪ The future's not ours to see ♪" "♪ Que sera, sera ♪" "And good morning, ladies and gentlemen." "We're at the 22nd run of the Atlanta 500." "Temperature is right now at the high 70's, sky partly cloudy." "John, it ought to be a perfect day for racing, and from behind the scene's drama, we have an ineresting development in the pit, right now." "Uh, most unusal story in years." "Brewster Baker, who's been off the circuit for two years, has been burning up the smaller tracks for the last four months with the help of the pit crew kids." "Kids!" "Sixteen to seven." "And we're gonna down in the garage area, have an interview with them, right now." "Brewster Baker and the Six Pack." "Congratulations to the Six Pack for qualifying seventh." "Thanks." "Is Brewster Bake here?" "I like a word with him." "No." "He, uh... had to go... go shake the doo off his lily thing." "He had to what?" "Umm, he had..." "he had to take a piss." "And that's the story from down here in the garage area." "Back to you in the booth." "Well, there you have it John." "Race hasn't even started yet, and Baker is already in for a piss stuff." "All of the cars that finished their NASCAR's inspection, ladies and gentlemen." "And the reverend Bill Bayes is at the beautiful chapel service in the garage area where most of the drivers and the race officials were friends." "May I have your attention, please." "Will all of the crew chiefs move their cars to the sarting positions on Pit road." "Also, all drivers please report to the competition director, Bill Gazerway, in the drivers' lounge at 11:30 AM." "Number one." "We have 500 miles of car driving in historical today, folks." "But for the moment, we got some really pretty thing to look at." "I refer to the beautiful racing queens," "Watson Mayhew and her corner of lovely young ladies while waiting." "In that hole where Brew laid, it looked like socket in the pulled tooth." "Yeah, he probably searched trying to figure out how did he got that nod on his head." "What the hell?" "Little midgets try to bluffing." "He ain't there." "On the pos, from Mooresville, North Carolina, Dale Earnhardt." "Lining in the second spot, from Chesapeake, Virginia, young Ricky Rudd." "Starting in third, from Hyattsville..." "Hey, Fred!" "We don't have the driver here." "He's coming." "I told you, he'll be here." " He better be..." " Two minutes." "OK, you got your two minutes." "Then we'll move this car off this lane." "From North Carolina, Richard Petty." "Guys, I think it's time we ask the Lord his spirit." "I don't think he's gonna show." "Lord?" "As you know, we ain't been good at all." "We stole car parts and we used bad language." "You see now, we met a very good man, Brewster." "The Lord knows that." "Just tell him to get here quick." "Brew!" "Come on, come on." "Brew, come on." "Brew!" "Get my belt." "To all personels, please, clear the pit road." "Let's race in before the start of this race." "All personels, please, clear the pit road." " Yeah." "Hi Breezy." " Oh, there's Pete." " Hi, guys." " Hi, Breezy." "Gentlemen, start your engines." "The starters are getting them under way but high price cars." "A fourty car field of the best, the fastest drivers in NASCAR grand national racing." "They're moving off down pit road" "A beautiful deployed field of the supervision of the starter, Harold Cander." "We got the official count on today's attendants,... fifty five thousand, four hundred and sevety two." "At 5th gear, 60 miles an hour, these cars appear to be crawling." "Now, the race cars move down over the fourth turn bunny." "And it looks like we're gonna have a starter." "And we have a starter." "Now at turn 1 with Dale Earnhardt in the lead." "Ricky Rudd's right there beside him, and the others are packed inside." "Oh, what a great start for this group of 500!" "It's Earnhardt, Kahne, and Ricky Rudd running one, two, three." "After that, we get Baker, Logan, and Bill Elliott behind." "There they are now." "They are all headed toward the turn number 3." "Oh, we got a fume..." "Yes, that's car needs Sailor with the blown engine." "That's the first fleg in the afternoon." "The drivers all hold their positions right now while the dragon is cleared." "Too bad for Silor." "Out so soon." "He's moving up!" "He's moving up!" "We're headed at 187 flag, but if you check your score..." "Now the back stretch, we had car 46." "That's Ricky Round blowing the engine." "The rest of the field maneuvering around Ricky as we go to a yellow flag." "You're gonna see all of the cars checking in the pits now, while Round's car being pulled out from the track." "That's tough break for Ricky Round." "Look like Brewster Baker taking on right side rubber and fuel at very fast band pit time" "Sam Pinsky at that corner manage Baker's Six Pack for this race." "And believe you me, they're doing a great job" "And also it's giving him a great boost by his Hawaii traffic crew." "And now Logan and Baker both move ahead a couple of notches." "And to the 4th and 5th spots with Logan having a slight edge." "But the leader is Harry Gant with Theodore Art in the 15 car challenging." "Buddy Baker in the number 1 car has started as they move through the slow traffic." "It has time for that last lap for 37 seconds flat." "Here's Baker in the Ford and Logan in the Buick" "And they seem to put up with each other." "They move up along later" "At this point, ladies and gentlemen, you got only six cars now in the lead lap, all the rest of the field are one lap down." "Adn you got seven starters who are no longer in this race." "But, you can count n one thing." "And that is that all seven other drivers will be competing at talent they got just two week's rpoblem today." "We have 10 laps to go folks." "And this is close as they come." "Buddy Baker is still the man to beat." "But his lead is getting shorter every turn by the number 3 car of Ricky Rudd." "And tucked in right behind the two leaders are cars number 73, the Hawaii tropic Buick driven by Terk Logan and the 47 T-Bird of Brewster Baker." "The lead changes hand on turn number 3." "But, now the uno car's back again." "The two leaders bumped on the front straight away." "They bump again and again." "Wait a minute, we have a terrible crash." "Ricky Rudd slammed into the wall." "Car number 94 truck kicks Rudd from the rear." "Brewster Baker and Terk Logan who were running 3rd and 4th are now the leaders as they are called in to the pits." "Come on in Brew.You're not tired." "We're gonna win it." "Only Baker and Logan are in the lead lap." "So, the race is between Baker's Ford T-Bird and the Buick of Logan." "That was probably the worst crash we ever had here at this speedway." "But luckily, none of the drivers involved in this crash got hurt as far as we can see." "Where are Breezy and Doc?" "We're gonna win it Brew!" "Come on, let's go!" "Let's go!" "Where the hell are the kids?" "Damn it!" "That sheriff got them, Brew." "He's taking them back to Texas." "Just go now." "Go Brew!" "Do you get it what?" "Go, damn it!" "That's an order!" "Terk Logan is down off the jack and there he goes." "Now, Baker is in the way." "He's catching up to Logan right over..." "He makes a hard left turn, cutting off Logan who plowed into the pit wall." "Both leaders are out of the race." "We're gonna find out what happened?" "Brewster!" "Brewster, come on." "Not this time, boy." "I'm in charge of my chargees." " I want those kids, sheriff." " I just bet you do." "I'm on my way to Baker's car now." "I'll be there in a minute." "Well, I got the red warrant from the state of Texas and extradition papers from the state of Georgia." "pardon me, officer." "Brewster, what makes you take that wrong turn?" "Well Chris, I don't think I took the wrong turn." "I tell you, this sheriff here is from the same hometown as my Six Pack." "And he has driven all the way from texas to arrest these six harden criminals here." "How about that, sheriff?" "Look, I'm..." "I'm a Texas law officer." "I don't have to talk in front of no damn camera." "Ask one of the kids." "They'll tell you what is going on?" "That sounds like a gret story." "How about some comments, sheriff?" "Can we talk about this in private somwhere?" "Oh, there is no need to do that, sheriff." "We are on network TV with the good chance that the Governor of Texas and... the good people who elected you to office are watching." "And now is your chance to explain to them why you come here to arrest these six little kids." "Well, we-we didn't come here to arrest them exactly." " Can I say 'Howdy' to the folks back home?" " Shut up, Otis." "Well, what did you come for?" "Well,... we-we were sent to-to check on them." " Yeah." " To check on them?" "Yeah." "See, these children are rophans." "We have to make sure they have proper supervision." "Well, I can see they're getting that." "So, I'm very proud to report to the good people of the great state of Texas that these children are in the capable hands of mister..." "Brewster Baker." "No shit, Dick Tracy." "Hey!" "Whoa!" "Whoa!" "♪ You can run You can hide ♪" "♪ Never let it inside ♪" "♪ Keep livin' your life in the dark ♪" "♪ But sooner or later that gentle persuader ♪" "♪ Is gonna catch up with your heart ♪" "♪ Make you a dreamer ♪" "♪ Believer ♪" "♪ Believin' in love ♪" "♪ Right when a man's doin' all that he planned ♪" "♪ And he thinks he's got just what he needs ♪" "♪ Life will deliver a shock that will shiver ♪" "♪ And drive him down to his knees ♪" "♪ Make him start givin', ♪" "♪ Livin' ♪" "♪ Livin' again ♪" "♪ Well it's your mind ♪" "♪ That tricks you in believing' every time ♪" "♪ Love will turn you around ♪" "♪ Turn you around ♪" "♪ Well, its your heart ♪" "♪ That talks you into to stayin' where you are ♪" "♪ Love will turn you around ♪" "♪ Turn you around ♪" "♪ Out of the blue she reaches for you ♪" "♪ And you tell her you don't have the time ♪" "♪ So you move away fast ♪" "♪ But you know it won't last ♪" "♪ 'Cause you can't get her off of your mind ♪" "♪ Thoughts are burnin', ♪" "♪ Turnin' ♪" "♪ They're turnin' around ♪" "♪ How do you know when to stay or to go ♪" "♪ And how do you know when it's real ♪" "♪ You don't need a sign to make up your mind ♪" "♪ You got your heart at the wheel ♪" "♪ You wanna start sharing', ♪" "♪ Carin' ♪" "♪ Carin' again ♪" "♪ Well it's your mind ♪" "♪ That tricks you in believing' every time ♪" "♪ Love will turn you around ♪" "♪ Turn you around ♪" "♪ Well, its your heart ♪" "♪ That talks you into to stayin' where you are ♪" "♪ Love will turn you around ♪" "♪ Turn you around ♪" "♪ Love will turn you around ♪" "♪ Turn you around ♪"

"Previously on AMC's rubicon..." "I think I found a pattern in the big ticket papers." "Something in the crossword today." "Anybody else see this?" "No." "David's been killed." "I need to show you something." "They showed up the day before David died." " Died?" " I... know what he meant to you." "I'm really sorry." "David was far too integral." "I'd like you to step into his position." "His biggest phobia by far was 13." "It was parked in spot 13." "Let's introduce you upstairs." "take off your sunglasses." "Oh, come on, boots." "Who could it be but me?" "I need visual identification." "Whoa." "Morning." "Morning." "American policy institute." "Intake meeting in five minutes." "Thank you." "Nervous?" "Yes." "Don't be." "You'll do great." "Everyone's rooting for you." "Hey, hal." "What you got?" "Run something for me, will ya?" "I'm boning up before I make a case." "Crossword puzzles?" "!" "Mm-hmm." "Keep it between us, okay?" "That would be against the rules." "I'm looking for any sort of pattern, any history, anything at all." "My name's not hal." "Thanks, hal." "Sorry." "First day jitters?" "I'm fine." "No, you're late." "It won't happen again." "Good." "Team a, team b, team c, team d, team e, team f." "Not now." "He's waiting." "You could have worn a coat and tie." "Right." "Coat and tie." "Don't let me down." "Excuse me?" "I recommended you for this job." "Oh." "I appreciate the support." "I won't let you down." "Good." "Tsk." "Oh..." "Good morning." "Morning." "How was D.C.?" "Usual cockfight." "Did you win?" "For the..." "For the time being." "We have a budget." "I gave the new Indonesia data to team c." "They're good at the all source stuff." "Agreed." "I'll check in with team e, see how they're doing with israeli intention vis-a-vis Iran." "Oh, good, good." "The Pentagon's been bugging me for the analysis." "It seems they don't trust our closest ally." "It's will travers first day as team leader." "He's waiting outside." "Good." "I, uh..." "I want..." "I want his team concentrated on the-the..." "Yuri." "Yuri thing." "And don't let them get distracted with last night's intakes." "The photos on my desk?" "They're on your desk." "Any more noise about the crossword thing?" "Quiet as a mouse." "Send him in." "You're lucky." "He's in a good mood." "I'll be downstairs." "You've got some big shoes to fill." "David hadas was a brilliant man." "Yes, sir, I know." "You up to it?" "Absolutely, sir." "Good." "The man facing the camera is, of course, Yuri popovich." "Your team get anywhere with his financials?" "He has seven dummy companies registered in the Cayman Islands." "High figures move in and out." "Mm-hmm." "How high?" "Tens of millions." "We're working on where it comes from and where it goes." "All the other information we've got points to him being a middle man between ex-kgb agents selling missing soviet missiles and buyers-- most recently hezbollah." "These were taken yesterday in Sofia, Bulgaria." "The other two men are unknown." "I'd like to know who they are and what they and Yuri are up to." "Yes, sir, we'll get right on it." "24 hours?" "Seem fair?" "Very fair." "Tom rhumor's will is clear and simple." "All his worldly goods are to be divided equally between his wife, Katherine rhumor and his first wife gidge brant and their children, Richard rhumor and sage rhumor." "Katherine, Tom has specified a few things that he'd like you to keep for yourself." "The Paul klee the morandi and the villard, the oyster Bay house, the house on fishers island and two more things." "In a codicil added by Tom last week," "Katherine inherits one of his companies-- mrq alternatives." "Last week?" "Yes." "When exactly?" "Um..." "Monday the 6th." "Two days before he dies, he decides to leave me a company?" "Why?" "He didn't say." "And the second thing?" "He left you the townhouse on East 73rd street." "What townhouse?" "Doughnuts." "Congrats." "Your promotion." "Oh, yeah." "Thank you." "How you doing?" "Week two, right?" "Week two." "Ah, I'm good." "Good." "You were right-- about the malaysian cipher." "It was an itinerary." "Guess whose?" "Prime minster Cameron's." "I alerted mi-5." "They weren't very grateful." "Anybody seen grant?" "Oh, he has a... a career day at his kid's school." "Oh, okay." "Let's start without him." "I just need to say this is-- this is weird." "Yesterday I was one of you, and today I'm supposed to..." "Step into David's shoes." "I'm, um..." "What the hell are those?" "Look, doughnuts." "In what universe?" "Where did you get them?" "Uh, a breakfast joint on 13th street." "For the future, beignets only." "The best are at the modern." "Beignets aren't doughnuts." "Last night's intake." "Not a lot of new things." "Mostly updates, so you can work on them on your own." "What I need you to do is concentrate on Yuri popovich." "Why?" "Because spangler asked us to, and he would like something by tomorrow." "So let's try to light a fire, okay?" "Sofia, Bulgaria." "Popovich, 10:00 A.M. yesterday." "Who are the other two in the photo?" "Exactly." "Who are they?" "What are they doing?" "Let's go." "At 2:00, you're meeting with mark mink to review support staff issues." "What issues?" "I doubt there are any, but he just wants you to know he's there." "Can we cancel that meeting?" "That sounds like a waste of my time." "Not if mark walks away, wanting to help you in any way he can." "Ten minutes of your time now could be worth a fortune down the road." "Okay, fine, let's keep the meeting." "What else?" "They're sweeping our offices tomorrow." "Already?" "It been a month." "They send David's stuff to his wife yet?" "Not yet." "It's still in the office?" "It's your office now." "It's a little strange, don't you think?" "Kale wants you closer to him." "I'm going to get that." "I'm..." "I'm going to pay for both of these." "It's about as close to a lunch date as you and I are ever going to get, isn't it?" "Uh... see you later." "Okay." "Hi, guys." "Look at this." "One miniscule mention on page 12 of political unrest in Nigeria." "Now, if that isn't a handy euphemism for a bloodbath." "The phones are down." "I checked with someone I know at state." "She said the embassy was evacuated this morning." "Miles..." "I don't want to be callus, but I want you to concentrate on Yuri popovich." "Don't worry" " I'm all over Yuri popovich." "What do you got?" "The... man sitting to the left of Yuri in the photos is George Beck." "German?" "Yes." "Good." "What else?" "We've uh, got his birthday, his home address and his government I.D. Number." "That's it?" "So far." "Keep digging." "So how's career day, grant?" "Great." "Considering I can't tell anybody what I do for a living." "My kid thinks I'm unemployed." "I, uh, I tell my kids that I write secret video games." "They think that's pretty cool." "Hey." "Hey." "Anything on those crosswords?" "Nothing." "Nothing on the clues or answers." "But I did find something of the same methodology." "Really?" "1983." "Crossword puzzles in 11 major international newspapers, with identical clues." "Seven in all." "Any trace?" "No." "Authorship?" "Nothing." "No code indications?" "Nope." "Keep looking." "Off the record?" "Off the record." "Don't push it, will." "I get caught, they fire my ass." "Did you know?" "No, of course not." "I don't believe you." "Guys always cover for each other." "Tom wasn't cheating on you." "How do you know?" "I knew Tom." "Then why did he have that townhouse?" "Maybe he just needed a place to decompress during the day." "No, he-he slept there, he entertained there, he read novels there." "Graham greene-- for God's sake." "I thought he hated Graham Greene." "How could Tom, my Tom, be so cruel?" "I don't know." "I still don't believe you." "Believe me." "I don't." "I really don't." "The morning of that train crash," "David's car was parked in spot number 13." "Impossible." "He would never do that." "I know." "But I saw it, and that's where it was." "Which means somebody else parked it, or he wanted us to know something was wrong." "What?" "I don'know." "But what if he knew that train was going to crash?" "I found this in David's office." "The letters mean numbers, right?" ""H" is 8, "p" is 16, but I-I can't seem to find a pattern in it." "This is really old-school." "Just like David." "It's a simple book code." "The case officer and his Agent each have copies of the same book." "The code indicates the page, the line, the letter." "Page 320." "Line 12." "Word 8." "Letter 3." "Find the right book, and..." "And you can read the message." "Lots of books." "Lots of books." "You can find the right book, but maybe you don't want to find the right book." "You sure you really want to find this?" "Ed, I'm sure." "I lied to you." "About what?" "The crosswords." "You recognize them?" "I wrote them." "I mean, I wrote a prototype." "Code embedded in crossword puzzles published simultaneously in several international newspapers." "Was this in 1983?" "You know about that?" "What was it for?" "David asked me to design a go code for seven participants." "It was David's operation?" "He was involved, yes." "A go code to start what, ed?" "I don't know." "I just don't know." "Something happened to David." "What is he trying to tell us?" "Out and about?" "Errands." "Focus..." "Is all, will." "Couldn't agree more." "How was your first day in charge?" "Uh, it was... frustrating." "We were only able to I.D." "One of the men in the Yuri popovich photo." "To be honest with you, we have very little on him." "He's expecting something tomorrow." "I know." "Well, let me know if there's anything I can do to help." "Good night." "Good night." "Everything okay?" "I think in his own funny way, we was offering his moral support." "I'm going to finish some work." "Thanks for your help." "You survived your first day." "How does it feel?" "I'm tired." "I'll see you tomorrow." "Good night." "Look at this." "I mean we..." "Warned everyone that this was going to happen." "Twice." "We laid out options." "What-what's the point?" "No one listens." "Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't." "Miles, I need your attention for a second." "You have to concentrate on this Yuri popovich thing." "Kale just came into my office." "I had to tell him we had nothing." "Yeah, you bet." "I promise." "Th-th-the CIA was supposed to get back to me." "Th-they ju-- they never did." "Wha...?" "Go home." "Play with your kids and put them to sleep." "Make your wife a Martini." "Come back tomorrow and get me some answers." "Oh, sorry about that." "Look out!" "I smell spring this morning, don't you?" "I didn't notice." "Hyacinth." "Hyacinth" "I'm sure of it." "Walter asked after you this morning." "I told him you were doing well and having fun." "True?" "Fun?" "I wouldn't call this fun." "But you like your job, don't you?" "You like being able to take care of Sophie?" "Yes." "So..." "What you got for me this week?" "Um..." "Grant is jealous of will." "Not showing him much respect." "That's to be expected." "Miles is miles." "Something's freaking him out." "He says it's what's going on in Nigeria, but I don't believe that." "Tanya?" "Yes?" "I think she has maybe a drinking issue." "Or not." "It's... hard to tell." "She wouldn't be the first." "How's will?" "Good." "Enjoying his new position?" "Getting his sea legs?" "Yeah." "Has he Seemed preoccupied, do you think distracted by..." "David's death?" "Anything like that?" "Not that I've noticed." "Hal." "Hey, hey, hal." "Getting anywhere on our little project?" "You're a menace." "What'd you find?" "This is the last time, will." "You know, I'm not kidding." "No more extracurricular activities." "Nothing off the books." "If you want me to help you, just bring the authorization, man." "Fine, agreed." "So?" "The crossword puzzles appeared three days after hezbollah sent a car bomber into the marine barracks in beirut, which killed 220 marines." "The day after the puzzles appeared, four suspected hezbollah leaders and two suspected hezbollah financial supporters disappeared or were assassinated." "Go code initiates revenge killings." "They pay you for that?" "Lucky, lucky, lucky." "You're worried." "I'm concerned." "Why?" "Truxton's enthusiasm-- it's... it's overzealous." "He knows what he's doing." "He always has." "He's getting older, r.C." "We all are." "We're having drinks together later in the week." "I'll see what I can do." "Good." "You know, my great-grandfather Horace started his own ferry line between here and Brooklyn." "Expanded to new london and South to Baltimore." "Did pretty well for himself-- till he was gobbled up by that prick vanderbilt." "Hey." "There was a broom on David's wall." "I'd like to have that put back up right where he had it." "And also there's a small owl on my desk." "Can you make sure no one touches it?" "Mm." "David's wife will be by here this weekend to pick up the rest of his stuff." "Good morning, sir." "You'll have something on my desk this morning regarding Yuri and his café chums, no?" "Absolutely." "Hmm." "How'd it go last night?" "With what?" "With, uh, playing with the kids, Martini for the wife?" "Oh, yes." "Yeah, it went great." "Maureen swilled while I chased" "Jake and Marissa around the apartment." "I was the giant bug creature and they were the terrified scientists." "So..." "Nice..." "Why, when we look at former colonies, do those who suffered under british yoke seem to flourish, and all others sink into chaos." "The british left behind institutions, rules, standards of behavior." "Doughnuts every morning?" "Exactly." "Beignets from the modern." "Cost me half my salary." "Okay, um, um, before..." "Before we get to last night's intake, let's get to what we have on" "Yuri popovich and George Beck." "We still haven't heard back from the CIA." "Yuri definitely has connections to ex-kgb." "Grant, we know that already." "Well, we know it even better now." "Um, bnd says their counterterrorism folks are keeping an eye on Beck." "But they won't tell us why." "Okay." "So, um..." "What do we know about the third person in the photograph, then?" "Nada." "Grant, you lazy, pompous piece of sááá!" "I want you, miles and Tanya to get me everything you know about George Beck by the end of the day!" "Am I clear?" "Whatever you say, will." "That's what I say, miles." "End of the day." "Tanya?" "He's back on the roof." "Maybe he'll jump this time." "What is it with this guy?" "Why do we give a shit?" "I don't know, and I don't care." "Let me know when he goes home."

"An Innocent Man [1989]" "It's cracked, all right." "In the bellows." "We're gonna have to replace the whole line." " You're frowning, Mike." " I don't know why." "We only have to inspect the entire aircraft." "What's taking him so long?" "You can't rush him." "He's an artist." "Pneumatics." "Not good." "Lots of problems." "The inspector hits on Wednesday and Thursday." "That plane is headed for Honolulu" "My people handle anything." "They don't know pressure." "I mean it,Jimmie." "I'm scheduled full... on that flight." "Tom, it's under control." " I admire that man." " He's a great American, Albert." "Let's get the guys together and talk overtime." "How's this one?" "What's the problem?" "I followed the throttle cable." "I can't tell yet." " Rig pin's in." " Yeah." "Your V.S.V. cable's twisted." "I been working on this for 4 hours." " How did you figure that out?" " Magic... and 1 2 years on the job." "Watch that stand." ""What's the Theory of Punctuated Equilibrium?"" " [ Kate ] That's the theory-- - "the controversial theory."" "It's the very controversial theory... that evolution" ""That evolution... is not a series of steady, gradual changes--"" "Right." "Right." "But is" "[ Sigh ] Damn it." "Is punctuated by" "Punctuated by sudden, drastic ones." "This is not a good day at work to go over this." "I'll be lucky if I pass this exam tonight." "Yeah." "You don't stand a chance." "You missed two out of thirty, so far." "Kate, you're gonna do fine." "I'll be late." "There's salad in the refrigerator." "That's dinner?" "Whatever happened to..." " greasy steaks, white bread and french fries?" " They are death." "Marriage, the final frontier." "Good luck." " You're lucky." " Why?" "I learned how to ski back east." "The snow is lousy." "It's all slushy, crusty or something." "Out here you got powder, sun." "I'll tell you something, Danny." "I thought I'd like it, but man, I love it!" "You go like hell, and pussy everywhere." "Uh-huh." "There's pussy going up and down the mountain." "[ Parnell ] Can you beat that?" "You're a thrill seeker." "I'm known for that." "Baby, baby." "No matter how many times we do this..." "I still get that good feeling in the pit of my stomach." " Let's rock 'n' roll." " Let's go, baby." "Freeze!" "Get your hands up, everybody!" "Police." "Don't move!" "Get down on your fucking knees." "Get down.!" " Move.!" " Hey, on your knees." "Ahh!" " Put your face on the table.!" " Damn it!" "Get down." "Hands up!" " [ Whimpers ]" " Get your hands on your head." "Hands on your head!" "Get down." "Get back." "That's right." "Be real quiet." "Mike!" "What are you shooting at a cop for?" "You don't shoot at cops!" "Danny, read these assholes their rights before I kill 'em." " You got the right to remain silent, asshole." " Fucking cops." "[ Siren ]" "Is that our man?" "[ Siren ]" "[ Scalise ] This guy shot at Mike." "I had to tag him." "It's a flesh wound." "He'll live." "Give him an aspirin." "Any of you get hurt?" " Nah, we're fine." "Anything else to tell me?" " Nah." "It's all yours, Jim." "Just a few more notches on your guns, eh?" "We've got to clean up Dodge City." " It's our sacred mission." " Yes." " ""["When The Night Comes"]" " Kate?" "Hi." "Greasy steaks, mashed potatoes, gravy, fried zucchini." "Everything you despise?" "I zipped through my exam in 45 minutes." "I decided to treat my study partner." "You covered all the major food groups except chocolate." ""Air mail." "Bon voyage." "Have a wonderful trip."" "Where are we going?" "Did you know that Bangkok... has the most spectacular temples in the world?" "Oh!" "It's a little doll from Bangkok." " From Thailand." " This one's fabulous." "Look at this one." "There's hundreds of sacred monkeys roaming around." "You couldn't find monkeys in this time zone?" "I can get cheap tickets." "I've got passes left." "After we have kids, we'll be lucky to get to Big Bear." "You'd go anywhere, wouldn't you?" "Kate, the world is not big enough to hold me." "I am a citizen of the universe." "Have you got-- Never mind." "I got it." "[ Ringing ]" " Yeah?" " Is that you?" "It's me." "What do you got?" "I had to work hard for this." "I hope you're gonna appreciate it." "The deal's going down tonight." "It's 420 Oak Way." "You got that?" " Yeah." "I got it." " You got the address?" "I got the address, Stevie." "Are you deaf?" "Hello?" "Hello?" "Thank you!" "What a dink." "Stevie just gave us a nice one;" "420 Oak Lane." "I don't know." "Looks awful quiet." "Stevie's always been reliable." "He knows I'd rip him a new asshole if he lied." " You ready?" " Yeah." "You take the back." "I got the front." "Let's go!" "[ TV] He was 3 of 4 on 3-point shots." "[ TV" " Cheers ]" "[ TV]" "Ahh!" "Police." "Don't move.!" "Police." "Freeze!" "Police.!" "[ Yell ] He's armed, Danny!" "He's down." "He's down, Danny." "I've got him covered." "Go ahead." "Oh, God." "Oh." "Oh." "This motherfucker scared the shit out of me." " It's a hair dryer." " What did you say?" "This guy's armed with a hair dryer." "Why would a guy take a shower during a dope deal?" "[ Chuckles ]" "[ TV- Indistinct Voices And Cheers ]" "This is 420, right?" "Where's his stuff?" "Stevie told me 420 Oak Way." " It's got to be here somewhere!" " Wait.!" "Mike, you told me 420 Oak Lane, not Way." "No, no, no, Danny." "I said Oak Way." " I said" " Mike, look." "Tell me." "What did I say?" "You told me 420 Oak Lane, not Way." "It's right here." "We are at 420 Oak Lane." "Holy shit, Mike!" "We got the wrong house." "This guy is a civilian." "Just a second, now." " Shit." " Oh, no." " Uh-huh." " Fuck me!" " Take it easy." " We're gonna think." " There's nothing to think about." "Too many people want to see us step on our dicks." "We did step on our dicks." "Get the bag, Danny." "We need an ambulance and a backup." "We have a suspect with a gunshot wound." "Yes, a gunshot wound." "It's 420 Oak Way." "Lane!" "420 Oak Lane." "Right." "Thank you." "You're busted." "[ Gasp ]" " I'm sorry" " I live here." "What's going on?" "Who are you?" "Where's my husband?" "Is he all right?" " I can't" " Jimmie.!" "[ Loud Speaker ] ...Emergency room." "Admissions." "Stat." "Somebody?" "Somebody, come here, please.!" "Somebody!" "Come here!" "Shut up." "You can't shoot a cop and not get hurt." "Cop?" "They shot me!" "I don't know what I'm gonna do with you guys." "False arrests, excessive force... complaints are very serious accusations." "You already know that." "Fitzgerald, what do you want from us?" "The man fired on us." "What are we supposed to do?" " He claims you fired." " That's bullshit." "Then you planted the gun and drugs." "What else is he gonna say?" "We bring in the bad guys better than anybody." "We're out there every day." "You know what that's like." "I know what that's like, Detective." "There's lots that I know." "But there's a difference... between what I know and what I can prove." "Isn't there?" " I wouldn't know." " Well, know this." "I'm a self-righteous man." "It's my Baptist upbringing." " Oh, come on." " I was on the streets 1 4 years... before I made I.A.D. and I was tough... fair... and right." "Jimmie." " Ow." " I'm sorry." "It's all right." "Are you all right?" "They didn't do anything to you?" "What happened?" "They said you had drugs and a gun..." " and you shot at the police." " How could I shoot anybody?" " They broke in." " How could they break in and shoot you?" "I don't know." "They're lying, and I gotta find out why." "I've got a lawyer and he's really good." " How did you raise the bail money?" " Our savings." "We gotta get this worked out fast." "It's a mistake." "There's no reason" "How could anybody make a mistake like that?" "How could they just break in and shoot me?" "It's okay." "It's gonna work out." "We'll find the answers." "They've got two decorated police officers... sticking to the same story..." " a witness who'll testify that you sold him drugs." " A witness?" "From where, The Twilight Zone?" "They made a mistake and they're trying to save themselves." "This old marijuana conviction doesn't help us." "Mr. Feldman, I was at a rock concert." "I was 1 8-years old." "Jimmie, you're going to trial." "The evidence at the hearing... was found substantial enough to warrant that." "The prosecution has approached me with a deal." " I think you should consider this." " A deal?" "That means I plead guilty, right?" "Why should I?" "In exchange for pleading guilty to possession... it would be changed to a misdemeanor." "The assault would be changed to reckless endangerment." "You'd do 6 months, a year, at an honor ranch; minimum security." "An honor ranch?" "6 months at an honor ranch?" "I'm not going to jail for 6 seconds!" "I'm not going to leave Kate." "Mr. Feldman, I'd lose my job!" "I'm not gonna have my life turned upside down... because some police didn't do their jobs right." "If they found him guilty, what's the worst they could do?" "If the judge ordered the terms to run consecutively... he could go to prison for 1 2 years." "1 2 years?" "That's insane." "[ Mr. Feldman ] This isn't a question of innocence or guilt." "It's about persuasion, maneuvering... the appearance of guilt." "It doesn't matter it's false." "Understand?" "No, we don't." "What about the truth?" "I just won't confess to something I didn't do." "That's just not right." "You still have to be proven guilty... before they throw you into prison." "Mr. Feldman, you have to understand something." "Jimmie and I love each other." "We have a life together." "Why would I jeopardize that to sell dope or shoot policemen?" "We were reacting on a tip from a reliable informant." "Precisely, what did he tell you?" "That Mr. Rainwood kept a supply at his home." "That he was selling the product from that location." " Where did you meet?" " [ Stevie ] By the ferry to Catalina... by the ticket window." "I bought stuff from him 3 or 4 times." "He always had good merchandise." "We suspect the drugs were smuggled to Mr. Rainwood..." " by his contacts at the airport." " Objection." "Officer Parnell's suspicions..." " have no place in this case." " Sustained." "Very well." "When you entered the house, Officer Parnell... could you tell us exactly what happened." "We identified ourselves as police officers." "He pulled a gun from under his bathrobe and fired." "I reacted." "I dropped to the ground... and returned his fire to protect myself." "Isn't it true that you and Offcer Scalise... concocted this entire tale to justify an error?" "That you planted both the drugs and the gun?" "No, no." "We don't operate that way." "Quite frankly, I resent the implication." "Tell me something, Mr. Feldman." "What the hell is going on when the police can do... whatever they feel like and get away with it?" "Where does that leave us?" "With Jimmie." "Well, I'm not giving in to those bastards." "It's not right." "Give us a minute, will you?" "Sure." "Jimmie, you're innocent." "You made the right decision." "Thejury will see that." "They'll listen." "Kate..." "I'm scared." "These detectives have citations for meritorious service." "They have the highest arrest and conviction rate." "That doesn't mean they're telling the truth." "We have the sworn testimony of a man who says... you sold him drugs on several occasions." "We have your fingerprints on a gun." "We have drugs in your house." "Most importantly, we have the word, under oath... of two distinguished detectives... that you fired at them while doing their duty." "I had a hair dryer in my hand." "I had just taken a shower." "I don't own a gun." "I don't sell drugs... and I don't shoot people." "Enjoying the show?" "I thought it was supposed to be a trial." "I understand you've been asking a lot of questions." "I have a curious nature, Parnell." "Why would a cop try to break the backs of other cops... that are just trying to do their jobs?" "Can you explain?" " There must be some character defect." " Yeah." "You guys think I need therapy?" "I don't think therapy would work in this case." "It couldn't hurt." "Sharp blow to the head is more in line." "James Rainwood, stand and face the bench." "[Judge ] James Rainwood... you have been found guilty of assault with a deadly weapon... and possession of cocaine for sale." "Do you have a statement to make before I pronounce sentence?" "No, Your Honor." "This is your first offense." "Thejury recommended leniency." "The prosecutor strongly reminds the court, however... that you deliberately and directly... endangered the lives of police offcers." "This act I cannot and will not treat with leniency." "I hereby sentence you... to 6 years at the state correctional facility... at Oroville, California." "6 years?" "Thank you." "Good job." "Jimmie?" "Jimmie?" " They can't do this." " Don't give up." "There's things we can do." "Let's go." "I'm saying good-bye to my wife!" "Come on." "Take it easy, pal." "You know I'm innocent, you son of a bitch!" "You know it.!" "Jimmie?" "I want to be with him!" "Kate, I love you!" "I want to be with my husband!" "You think you're tired now, wait 'til we start processing'." "Oroville is a nasty shithole, man." "We could've been goin' to Quentin... with them old-timers boring the shit out of you... goin' on about jazz and how many motherfuckers they killed." "Soledad's even worse;" "all them gang-bangers choosin' each other off every 5 seconds." "It's a fuckin' gladiator school." "You can't get a minute's peace." "My name's Robby." "I forgot my manners when they hooked us up." "I really don't feel like talking." "This your first bit?" "I can tell." "I don't belong in here." "'Course you don't belong." "You think I do?" "Nobody ever belongs in one of these joints." "Gee, it's brutal being a victim, huh?" " Get your asses off." "I'll kick you in the ass." " Move it.!" "Straight ahead." "What are you looking at?" " Move, move!" " Know where you're at, ladies." " Move it." " Get that smile off!" "." "All right, let's get naked." "Place your clothes... and personal effects in the plastic bag." "Many of you think you are bad asses." "You are not." "Men get injured and killed in here... and it's not just by other shit-bird convicts." "Cooperate... you might get out ofhere without becoming a bitch... or worse." "You give us a hard time..." "I guarantee you one long stay in hell!" "As soon as you're naked... get you hands over your heads." "Turn around." "Face the guards." "Heads forward... and run your fingers vigorously through your hair." "Get vigorous there, Goldilocks... or I'm gonna shave your dome!" "Open your mouths." "Run your tongues back and forth." "Your hands in the air, show your palms to the officers." "Show them the back of your hands." "Lift up your dicks and your nuts." "All right." "Give me my guards out here." "[ Buzzer ]" "Step forward to the next yellow line." "[ Indistinct Voices ]" "New fish." "Fish on the line!" "Follow the yellow line." "They got some pretty white boys here." "[ Indistinct ]" "Jesus Christ." "Will you relax?" "It's only temporary." "We'll be moving as soon as they finish classification." "'Course the new place will look like this... but we'll fix that place up in no time." "Make it real nice and homey." "Yeah?" "[ Cell Doors Closing ] Lockdown." "[ Guard ] Lockdown." "[ Guard ] Stand clear." "[ Door Closes ]" "[ Indistinct ]" "Look, you gots to learn so you don't get burned." "Wait." "Notice everything." "Did some dude get a bad letter from his old lady?" "Or get set off in his parole board hearing?" "Or is he in love with some sissy who's already spoke for?" "Moods, you know?" "Everything means something in here." "I'm sure you're the one to fill me in, right, Robby?" "I don't see nobody else banging your door to show you." "You ready?" "This motherfucker's time has come." "Robby?" "Robby, let me see ya." "I got some business to take care of." "I'll be right back." " Yeah, as a matter of fact." " What's he doing?" "Same old story." "Nothing changed." "He's still in that bag." "I'm telling you." "[ Grunts ]" "[ Gasps ]" "[ Grunts And Yells ]" "[ Yells ]" "What the fuck's wrong with you?" "Don't hang around unless you want 3 years in the hole." " He's burning up for Christ sake!" " So what?" "He won't be the last." " He said he knew everything." " Yeah." "He didn't know enough, did he?" "He ripped those dudes off his last bit." "All right, assholes, against the wall." "He should've been watching his back." "Virgil Cane, man." "Lone Ranger ain't got nothing on him." "[ Indistinct Shouts And Voices ]" " Two cartons on Portland." " All right." "Two cartons, Portland." " Malcolm." " Hey." "Give it to me." "Give it to me." "Hey,Jingles." "[ Felix ] That's him." "Check him out." "What you got in the bag, sucker?" "Hey, Motherfucker, I'm talking to you." "Some things I got." "Toothpaste, soap, stuff from the canteen." "You ain't leaving', punk." "Felix, hold my shit for me." "You ain't got a problem with that, do you white boy?" "You got what you wanted." "Why don't you get out of my way?" "Step back." "Nothing's happening here, right?" "That's right." "Never a dull moment, eh, Virg?" "Tension in the big house, just like in the movies." "I'm glad I'm leavin' this joint." "This new class of wimps makes me ashamed to be a convict." "You should be ashamed of being a lousy judge of character." "Hey, man, that hurts." "You gonna show like a white man or what, Rainwood?" "Those niggers belong to the Black Guerrilla Family... and that's some nasty old bucks." "Deal with that, or everybody's gonna know you're a punk." "Everybody." "You understand." "No, I don't." "Am I supposed to fight 3 guys?" "No,just one.Jingles. The one that braced you." "Fist fights are for free men." " You gotta get a piece and make a move." " What?" "Doin' him." "You're telling me I should kill him?" "No, I want you to marry his motherfucking sister!" "You better get with the program, slick." "I'm not gonna kill a man over toothpaste and soap." "If you don't off that buck, they'll make you their kid;" "running errands, doin' whatever." "Hell, they might think you're real pretty." "You ain't got to stand tall in here... but you got to stand up!" "I've been thinking about what to say to you for a week." "Like I told you, your husband's case is old news." "We thoroughly checked out the officers' stories." "They held up." "I need some help here." "I'm tired, and I'm discouraged... and my husband's still in prison." "I'm his only connection to the outside, and I have nothing." "No one wants the truth more than I do." " Those men were lying and you know it!" " Please." "It's not what I think, or know, or suspect." "It's what I can prove." "I need something solid." "Otherwise, it's all theory." "I'm not a theory." "I'm a real human being... and so is Jimmie." "Look me right in the eye, and burn my face into your brain." "You remember the pain in it!" "We have both suffered because you people screwed up... and you didn't dig up the truth." "We're going to continue to suffer." "That's real." "[ Machinery Noises ]" "Hey." "How'd you get my pass sent up?" "Clerks run the joint." "You do things for each other." "Somebody's got to give you the game or you're fucked." "It's simple in here." "It's an insane place with insane rules... so it ends up being logical." "If you're white, you hang white." "Otherwise, the niggers eat you alive." "You're not listening." "All that civil rights shit gets left at the gate." "You've got a problem with Jingles." "You can go to the Aryan Brotherhood for help... that asshole Butcher and his partners." "They'll make you part of the A.B. for life." "Or you can handle your problem by yourself." "I've got respect, because I earned it." "Anybody fucks with me, it's their life." " Where you going?" " You talked to me and I listened." "Hey!" "Hey." "Don't you be talking out the side of your neck... when I'm trying to do you a solid." "All right." "All right." "Let's get it all out on the table." "Every time I turn around, somebody's giving me advice." "Mostly it's about killing." "So, what's your interest in me?" "There's not much chance I'm ever getting out." "Those cops of yours are part of the reason." "That's what we got in common." "I got my last armed-robbery conviction behind them." "The rest is my business." "[ Indistinct ]" "It's okay." "Hey." "The directions were good?" "You didn't get lost?" "It's okay, sweetheart." "We'll sit here and talk." "We'll be fine." "So, how's Albert and Yvonne?" "Did he get the promotion?" "Yeah." "They're gonna... be moving to Seattle." "That's great." "I'm happy for them." "I filed the appeal." "So, how long?" "Feldman says it'll take months." "The chances of a reversal" "I'm keeping after him." "I call him every day." "I'm making sure that he keeps me up to date." "[ Sigh ] I'm sorry." "No, come on." "There's nothing to be sorry about." "I mean... we're just beginning this." "We just got to hold on and be strong for each other." "And keep trying everything we can think of." "Are you all right?" "Yeah." "I can handle this place if I'm sure of that." "If I'm sure you're all right, I can." "No matter what happens, I love you." "And no" "That's not ever gonna change." "I know that." "I love you, too." "I'm all right." "I swear to God I am." "Hi,Jimmie!" "Here's the skinny." "From here on out... your outside money be goin' on our books." "So we be..." "stylin'!" "I'm not giving you anything else." ""I'm not gonna give you anything else."" "What?" "You gonna show us... what a real convict you are, sucker?" "Don't you ever touch me, you white motherfucker... ever!" "[ Grunts And Groans ]" "You motherfucker!" "Come on,Jingles, man." "Get off me, you mothers!" "Come on, Jingles, man!" "Let's get out of here." "Oh, man." "Rainwood, do yourself and everyone else some good here." "Give me their names." "I'll make sure they don't bother you." "I fell." "You need some help." "That's pretty obvious." "I might be new, but I know how some things work here." "[ Sigh ] Fine." "You want to be known as a stand-up guy, fine." "I fell." "You're going into segregation for 1 5 days." "Maybe that will jog your memory." "[ Inmate In Cell ] Who you bringing in now?" "Number 6." "[ Yell ]" "[ Typewriter ]" "[ Chuckling ]" "When did he check back in?" "[ Laughing ]" "It's my main man." "[ Indistinct ]" "Shut the fuck up." "You ain't nothin'." "You ain't nothin'." "This shit gettin' old yet?" "It's only gonna get worse unless you take him out." " You talk about it like it's nothing." " Not nothing." "It's necessary sometimes." "Maybe you walked away in the free world... but not here." "There's no place to go." "Hey, I caught that action in the yard today." "Looks like the A.B.'s and the niggers... goin' be fightin' over you." "You must be one flattered motherfucker." "How's your chow?" "[ Indistinct ]" "You be cool, and everything will be everything." "Let's take a walk." "Let's go." "Who you lookin' at?" "You ain't gettin'no help, motherfucker." "Forget that." "Bring your ass on." "[ Excited Shouts ]" "Check it!" "That bitch was sold to us... by the Muslims for 1 0 cartons and some drugs." "That made him ours." "Only he didn't want to be sold." "He wouldn't give it up to us." "We decided to rough it off, you know?" "You know what's funny?" "I said, "Do you know what's really funny?"" "There are worse things than that." "Ain't that something?" "[ Muffled Shouts ]" "[ Yells ]" "You're gonna be our kid... and I ain't hardly bullshittin'." "Get up.!" "You go on back to your workout." "Being healthy's a good thing." "[ Felix ] Get out ofhere." "Oh, Virg, gin." "That makes $500,000... 2-dozen assault rifles, and 3 teenage girls you owe me." "It really mounts up." "You want some more pruno?" "Is a bear Catholic?" "I'm ready to deal with my problem." "Are you straight with Venucci?" " The guy on the serving line." " Good." "Sneak some of that soap back to your house." " You understand how the thing's goin' down?" " I understand!" "You don't try to hurt him." "You kill him!" "Break the piece off after you stick him!" "I understand." "Just trying to get my mind around it." "Yeah." "Can I have some more?" "Hey." "[ Mumbling ]" "Last of the batch." "You get extra." "Yo,Jingles!" "It won't be too long now." "Venucci used plenty of soap." "And baby... the first one's always the hardest." "[ Coughing ]" "I'm gonna take that piece and fuck you with it, punk." "[ Grunts ]" "[ Coughing ]" "Walk." "Walk out of here." "Go on, man." "Two points." "Let's go." "Let's go." "Come on." "Shoot it, man, shoot it.!" "Oh, all right.!" "[ Indistinct ]" "[ Alarm ]" "I know you did it, Rainwood." "I don't know anything about anything." "You should know this." "I can do anything I want with you in here." "That's right, Lieutenant." "People like you have been doing that." "It started with those cops, went on through the trial... and now it's your turn, isn't it?" "Take your fucking turn." "I don't give a shit!" "Bartlett!" "[ Lieutenant ] 90 days in the hole." "A lame like you won't make it." "You'll come out of there drooling all over yourself." "I wouldn't bet on that." "[ Siren ]" " What do you want?" " Now, Katie... don't start getting all nervous." "We're tried of hearing your name come up." "You've been complaining to agencies all over town." "We even heard from the mayor's offce." "You're trying to get those newspaper guys after us." "Not nice." "I'll continue trying to get my husband freed." "If we didn't know better, we'd think that... you were trying to find a way to take us down." "It's not going to happen, Katie." "People have been trying for years." "We've been beaten." "Danny was stabbed." "I was shot several times." "Nothing happened." "It's like we're charmed, you know?" "Who can explain it?" "You can talk to anybody, and it won't mean shit." "Like Fitzgerald." "He acts all bad... but basically, he's a pencil pusher." "We all know what happened to your old man." "He wouldn't play along and he fucked himself." "That was long ago, so forget it and stop bothering people." "No one can touch us." "You remember that." "They admitted they framed Jimmie." "What more do you want?" "I've told you, secondhand conversations mean nothing." "All right." "They threatened me." "Parnell said that your department was shit... and that you were a" "A what?" "A punk nigger with his nose up the brass's ass." "[ Guard ] Clear the yellow line." "Clear the yellow line." "[ Convict ] Way to do it." "Way to do it, Rainwood." "[ Convict ] Solidjob, Rainwood." " [ Guard ] Escort." " It's Rainwood." "[ Guard ] Clear for escort." "Escort." "[ Moans ]" "[ Virgil ] Jimmie Rain." "You feelin' a little..." "logy, are you?" "It's probably too much rich food lately." "Night life fucked me up, too." "You did a piece of work and you held your mud." "It's over." "A great flick tomorrow night." "I expect to see you there." "Oh, God, Danny, Danny, Dan!" "I got to stop eating that Cuban food." "It's ripping up my insides." "Ow!" "Express your feelings, Mike." "You're a ball of repression!" "I'll give you repression." "Right here's repression." "Boom!" "[ Fitzgerald ] Hey, boys." "We need to talk." "Well, look who's here." "Off the record." "Kate Rainwood came to see me." "Kate who-wood?" "You put her husband away." "Make your point." "She said you threatened her." "Did she say that?" "The two of you, stay away from her." "Oh, fuck her." "And fuck you!" "Fuck you!" "This internal affairs horseshit is going to your head." "Ow!" "Do it, Scalise, do it!" "I'll break his fucking neck!" "You stay away from Kate Rainwood!" "I don't like being called a punk nigger... boy." "[ Convict ] Hard rain fell on those motherfuckers." "Too bad." "Nice game, man." "Next time, all right?" "You keep thinking that, I'll keep getting richer, Train." "Yeah, right." "Why don't you invest that... vast wealth of yours in my sports action?" " You got to think about your future." " Forget it." "I only bet on a sure thing..." " like your hair getting gray before you get out." " Oh." "Lucky fuckin' shot, Rainwood." "Butcher, man, you still listening to weight-loss tapes?" "Asshole." "They ought to wire the man's jaws shut." "[Jimmie ] Go ahead." "You can run, but you cannot hide." "[ Virgil ] Let me think, will ya?" " That hole's getting deeper." "Check." " I was counting on you... to make up for my losses to Malcolm." "Is parole still agreeing with him?" "Yeah." "He took off some dope dealers and started business." "He couldn't wait for a bank loan." "Free enterprise in action." "She didn't forget how to make lemon pound cake?" "No." "She's sending you the recipe and an apron." "You asshole." "Oh, yeah." "It must be nice to have Kate out there waiting." "It's everything." "I feel like a kid when she visits." "I walk around for a week grinning like a maniac." "She kept me strong." "Yeah, they do that, don't they?" "I had someone once." "All right, you got my attention." "I met her in a bar one night." "Those days I was running and ripping;" "just daring the man to catch me." "I was trying to become a legend." "Lord, the things you remember." "You got that right." "She was there the night Parnell and Scalise busted me." "She jumped all over them and they... kicked the shit out of her." "You don't forget things like that." "[ Guard ] Lock-in." "Janie had heart." "I'll catch you tomorrow." "Right." "You're in a category all by yourself in this joint." "You're actually innocent." "Yeah, not like the rest of these assholes." "So, what's on your mind, Virg?" "You ever think about getting some pay-back?" "Yes, I have." "But they're cops." " They're also human." "Just barely." "But... there's always a way to take somebody down." "It's not multiple choice." "Yes or no?" "It's not me." "I remember when shanking a man wasn't you." "Give me some respect on this, will you?" "You didn't know a goddamn thing... about respect until I taught you." "Since you're up for parole... are you gonna go home, and live like this never happened?" "Don't put me under the gun, man." "I just want my life back." "How often does a con... get a chance to get some justice, huh?" "Or deserve it?" "I think I've proven myself... ready to reenter society... and start a new life for myself." "I have a good" "How about the truth?" "Hi, members of the parole board." "I've just wasted over 3 years of my life... for no fucking reason." "Nah, I don't think the truth will fly." "Yeah!" "I won't be needing these." "Here." " Where'd you get that stinger?" " Someplace." "Don't blow the power when you hook it in the socket." "I know how to use it." "I've only been doing time sinceJesus was a baby." "I hardly wore 'em." "That's my phone number." "I haven't had one for a while, so don't lose it." "I guess I'm gonna have to watch the neighborhood by myself." "I guess that makes you..." " the Mr. Rogers of the correctional system." " Ha." "I owe you, man." "Everything." "Thank you." "Wasn't nothing." "I had time to kill, anyway." "Take it slow, Rain." "Don't forget your schooling." "[ Buzzer ]" "Ain't life a motherfucker?" "Riding in a car." "You know, Kate... all things considered..." "I think I should've taken the honor ranch." "New color's great." "What is it?" "Robin's egg." "I'm dying for a beer." "Do you want one?" "Are you kidding?" "You sure you don't want anything stronger?" "Beer is great." "The place looks wonderful, Kate." "I'm so glad you're" "Let me put these down." "[ Gasps ]" " [ Grunts ] - [ Gasps ]" "Oh... goddamn it!" "It's okay." "I thought about this moment for 3 years." "I wanted it to be perfect." "We have all the time in the world." "You're the best." "[ Sigh ]" "There's this cabin we can rent... up in Arrowhead." "No neighbors for 1 0 miles." "Guaranteed." "So, what do you think?" "In the yard, there was a strong wind that blew from the west." "I'd look at the mountains covered with snow." "Sometimes I'd think that wind was gonna pick me up... and carry me over the walls to you." "You'll never know how much I missed your sweet face." "That's what kept me alive." "[ Engine Starts ]" "[ Car Door Bangs ]" "[ Car Door Bangs ]" "[ Parnell ] Rainwood?" "Long time, no see." "[ Engine Stops ]" "Bad looking ride, Jimmie." "Come on inside." "We need to have a talk." "It's all right, Kate." "I haven't done anything." "It's okay." " What are you doing here?" " Nice to see you, Mrs. Rainwood." "You're looking very good." "We had to make another call in this part of town." "We thought we'd stop by." "Mind if we..." "sit down?" "Sit down." "Honey, get us something cold to drink, will you?" " What the fuck's wrong?" " I told you to sit your ass down.!" "Sit down!" "Get us something cold to drink, goddamn it!" "Why don't you, Katie?" "What are you?" "Some kind of bad ass now you did some time?" "You can say fuck and everything." "Don't you ever come out of your mouth... like a smart-ass with me!" "Rainwood?" "Do you know who you are?" "You are an ex-convict on parole... and you are owned by the state." "The state believes the police, not the ex-convict, always." "Jimmie, I don't want you to think... we're picking on you." "Thank you." "We do this with every parolee we've busted." "It's kind of like preventive maintenance." "Guys get weird ideas in thejoint." "This call is special." "You and your crusading cunt of a wife..." " have caused us a lot" " Jimmie, please don't." "You wouldn't let go, and it got you shit.!" "Go ahead, Katie... try to save him like you couldn't do before." "From now on, Rainwood, you are a model citizen." "If we happen to say "shit,"" "you squat." "Understand that, and it might keep you out of jail." "Jimmie?" "Are you all right?" "I make shit coffee." "I woke up and you were gone." "Jimmie?" "They're not gonna leave us alone, you know that?" "We go on like this... they're gonna keep sliding in and out of our lives." "We can move." "Kate, I'm on parole." "Aren't there circumstances" "What kind of reason am I going to give them?" "Police persecution?" "Christ, my parole agent would haul me in for observation." "We'll just have to deal with it, somehow." "They came into our home.!" "Jimmie... you can't fight these men." "It's not just because they're police." "They destroy people whenever they feel like it." "You're not like them." "You don't know me." "I do." "Not anymore." "What are you talking about?" "Talk to me." "You see what's happening to me... but it's happening to us." "They're tearing us apart, and I won't stand for that." "I won't lose you." "I'm gonna stop them." " What are you going to do?" " Whatever it takes." "Now,you can be in... or I'll keep you out, if that's what you want." "Whatever it takes." "I'm here because we don't know what else to do." "It's like they hauntJimmie." "After they came to the house" "We need your help." "Malcolm can only do so much." "Those assholes have been riding high so long... they think only kryptonite can take them down." "Of course, they are... pea-brain, dickless shitheads." "Which is... definitely in our favor." "Definitely!" "You've been hoping for this?" "Let's just say, it makes my decade!" "I'll get exactly the information you need... and I'll reach out to you real soon." "You're just like Jimmie described you;" "a schemer and a charmer." "Thanks for everything you did for him, Virgil." "You boys got the competition running for cover." "That's very good work." "I like having only my dope on the street." " It makes me feel special." " Our pleasure." "We think we know how to make a point, Mr. Donatelli." "[ Donatelli ] It's Joseph." "You keep making that point and we'll keep getting wealthier." "Virgil sure got this shit down." "How long have they been hooked up?" "It's a pretty recent thing." "Donatelli uses them to edge out the other dealers." "Any competitors, he tips Parnell and Scalise... and they bust 'em." "Fucking cops... they steal the dope and Donatelli buys it at discount." " Mr. Slick there the lawyer?" " Mr. Nate Blitman." "He spreads the cash tojudges... and whoever keeps the focus off Donatelli." "That proves good legal representation is a must." "Yeah." "You ain't lying, Jimmie Rain." "Same old, same old." "Your wife tells me you have a plan... to put Parnell and Scalise away." "Yeah." "Kate's told me good things about you." "The problem is you're a cop, like them." "I'm nothing at all like them!" "I'm here because your wife asked me." "You need a cop to make this stick." "If you have something, let's have it." " Otherwise, forget it." " All right, forget it." "Are you crazy?" "You won't be fit to live with unless we do it." "And you have been walking around whining about proof... since the day I met you.!" "Work the fucking thing out!" "What are you willing to do?" "At this point... almost anything." "Look, with your help... we can get these guys dirty and put them away." "What do I get if I agree?" "You'll witness them buying cocaine." "No shit." "You be ready on a half-hour's notice." "I'll give you the time and place." "Just you!" "No one else." "I'm gonna go along with you on this... but if you fuck up and my ass ends in a sling... you and I are gonna go round and round." "I guess I better not fuck up." "Come here." "Come here." "Look at me." "Too many vitamins, huh, Stevie?" "What do you got?" "Coke. 1 0 or 1 2 keys, uncut." "I can tell you where and when." "You guys grab it before they step on it... you're rich." "Who's it belong to?" "Reynolds." " Reynolds." " Who's Reynolds?" "He's new, just set up." "So?" "It'll cost you a grand, man." "You fucking junkie, son-of-a-bitch!" "You fucking junkie, don't play games with me!" "I need the money, man.!" "You'll get the rest when you call." "This better be real." "[ Grunt ]" "Hell of a performance." "This thing's gonna give me a heart attack." "Stevie... understand that Malcolm and I know people... who can find you anywhere." "I hate those pricks, too." "I've been lookin' for a chance like this." "Well, you got your money and your chance." "Take the next "whatever" and leave." "[ Boat Whistle ]" "[ Parnell ] All right, freeze." "Get down.!" "[ Muffled Shouts ]" "[ Boat Whistle ]" "[ Scalise ] Keep your hands where I can see 'em." "We're gonna find you boys a real job." "Oh, you want to get frisky, huh?" "[ Scalise ] I'm gonna take you boys on the whoopee tour." "[ Scalise ] Up against the wall, now.!" "Spread 'em." " How'd we do?" " There was only about 25 or 30 keys." " I'm so disappointed." " [ Chuckle ]" "[ Scalise ] Let's move it." "Got a couple of live ones for you." "Up against the desk." " Spread 'em." " Coke." "Almost 2 keys." "You guys trying for the record?" " [ Parnell ] Yeah,yeah." " That is unfortunate." "Well, Mr. Blitman." "What are you doing here?" " I heard you have some of our people." " I don't have" "You're booking two of Mr. Donatelli's employees." "Whose employees?" "Mr." "Donatelli will expect to see you..." " tomorrow morning." " Mr. Blitman, could we" " Don't worry, boys." " Mr. Blitman?" "Please let me out." "I thought they were working for Reynolds." "[ Parnell ] One thing is sure..." "Donatelli is not gonna believe this was an accident." " Look, we call him up." "Tell him what happened." " Yeah." "We give him back his dope." "It's no big deal." "Right." " We've been doing this for a long time, huh?" " Yeah." "We're alive, got some dough, and we're not in the joint." " [ Chuckle ]" " Why don't wejust keep the stuff." "We keep it and we'll split." "Those people in Florida will give us a good price." "We could leave the country." "It's not like we don't have emergency plans." "On your face, motherfucker." "Now.!" "Do it!" "Get down." "Get down!" "[Jimmie ] Get the keys." "On your feet." "Put your free hand on top of your head." "Free hand on top of your head!" "Move to the post!" "Do you have any idea who we are?" "Yeah." "Two-thirds ofthe Three Stooges." "[ Laughter]" " Take it easy." " Fuck you!" " Be cool." "Buy some time." " We better." "They find out we been ripped off, we dead." "Hey, we'll handle it, man." "How could you be so stupid!" "It was my dope, and those were my men!" "Look... we'll bring you your drugs tomorrow." "It's too risky to touch it today." "Really." "By noon tomorrow... or the world won't be big enough to swallow you up." "And remember... if either of you fuck me, you both fuck me." "Understand?" "If you fuck me, being cops won't mean nothin:" "I'll kill your families, then you." "And I'll do it in pieces." "Now, get out of here." "[ Ringing ]" "Yes, special narcotics, Parnell." "[ Malcolm ] This is one of the guys that took you off." "Well, what do you want?" "Look, we made a big mistake." "We didn't know the dope belonged to Donatelli." " Yeah, you made a big mistake, all right." " Okay, okay." "All we want is some traveling money." "$20,000." "We'll sell it back to you, and we're gone." "We just want out alive." " All right." "There's this place" " No, no." "I'll call you back with the place." "Have the money." "Kate?" "You'll call Fitzgerald in 1 0 minutes?" "This doesn't scare you, does it?" "It scares me... but I can handle it." "Jimmie?" "You said I don't know you anymore... but I do." "I've thought a lot about... what must have happened to you in prison." "[ Sigh ]" "It's not what happened to me, Kate." "It's what I did." "I promise you, after tonight, we'll have our lives back." "If something goes wrong, and I wind up in prison" "Jimmie." "If I wind up back in prison... you have to promise me... that you'll move on with your life." "I don't want you to hold on again." "I love you too much for that." "I can't make that promise to you." "So, I guess you'll just have to come back to me..." "Jimmie Rain." "$20,000 for three-quarters of a million in coke." "It's not a bad deal." "Come on, you're doing the right thing." "Just think of it as early retirement." " Right." "We'll be in Florida before Donatelli misses us." "[ Parnell ] Be sure you get a receipt." "[ Car Engine Starts ]" " Anything?" " No." "Looks all clear." "Drive by the shops, huh?" "We got company." " You guys miss your bus?" " You the man?" "Turn around." "Spread your legs." "He's clean." "[ Malcolm ] I'm gonna tell you exactly how it goes." "You give me the money." "When my partner sees me drive off... he'll put the rest in that barrel." "Got it?" " I want my dope now!" " Slow down." "I don't want to, Danny." "Who is this creep?" "I'm your daddy, punk!" "Back off." "[ Scalise ] Look, here's the bread." "All right, I'm gone, gentlemen." "Are you crazy?" " [ Parnell ] Shut up.!" " Shit." " Mike." " Shut up." "I'm not gonna let shit like this order me around." "Get your partner here in 5 seconds with the dope... or I'll blow your fucking brains out here." "You understand?" "Now do it." "Jimmie?" "Jimmie!" "[ Malcolm ] Yo,Jimmie.!" "Jimmie.!" " Let him go!" " Rainwood!" "Let him go." "I've got it." " Okay." "You go and get the stuff." " Yeah." "And put it in the car." "Come out here where I can see you." "Put the bag down right here." "Up against the car." "Hands on the trunk." "You know the position, Rainwood." "Uh-huh, what have we here?" "Oh, Mike, it's yours." "Turn around." "You got balls, Rainwood." "I give you that." "I'm just gonna... pick up this little bag here... and take a stroll." "If you try anything tricky, then we'll shoot you." "Now let him go." "Rainwood, you son-of-a-bitch." "[ Grunt ]" "Police!" "Danny, meet me at the entrance." "Give it up, Scalise!" "Give it up.!" "Don't do it!" "Hey, man, I'm sorry." "I didn't see you." "I'm a police officer." "There's a man hurt back there." "Police officer." "[ Yells ]" "I'm gonna cut you in half." "I wouldn't bet on that." "[ Yell ]" "[ Kate ] Jimmie.!" "[ Guard ] Clear the yellow line." "Clear the yellow line." "[ Convict ] New fish." "Fish on the line." "[ Virgil ] Hey, Offcer." "Ain't life a motherfucker?" ""Hold on "" ""I'll be back for you it won't be long "" ""But for now there's something there "" "" That's calling me "" ""So take me down a lonesome road "" ""Point me east and let me go "" "" This suitcase weighs me down "" "" With memories "" ""I just want to be the one you run to "" ""I just want to be the one you come to "" ""I just want to be there with someone "" "" When the night comes "" ""Let's put all our cares behind us "" ""And go where they'll never find us "" ""I just want to be there beside you "" "" When the night comes When the night comes "" ""I know there'll be a time "" "" When you and I "" "" Could take our hands and run away "" ""Pick up all the pieces "" "" Of this shattered dream "" " " We're gonna make it out someday " - "Make it out someday "" "" We'll be coming back "" "" Coming back today "" "" Ooow "" "" When the night comes "" ""I want to be the one you run to "" "" Oh, when the night comes "" "" To be the one you come to "" " " Oh, when the night comes " - "I want to be the one you run to "" " " Oh " - "Aaah "" ""I just want to be the one you run to "" "" Wanna be the one you come to "" ""I just want to be there with someone "" "" When the night comes When the night comes "" "" Oh, oh, when the night comes "" "" When the night runs out "" "" Oh, oh, when the night comes "" ""I wanna be with you "" "" Oh, oh, when the night comes "" "" Oh, when the night comes in ""

"KAZAKHSTAN MINISTRY OF INFORMATION PRESENTS" "A KAZAKHSTAN TELEVISION PRODUCTION" "IN ASSOCIATION WITH BAGATOV FILMS" "KAZAKHSTAN" "KAZAKHSTAN TAJIKISTAN" "KAZAKHSTAN KYRGYZSTAN" "KAZAKHSTAN UZBEKISTAN" "What you say about me, you skinny piece of shit?" "Not now, please." "Why don't you do something useful and dig your mother a grave." "THE RUNNING OF THE JEW 2004" "Here comes the Jew." "It's a big one this year." "Whoaaaa." "He nearly got the money there." "Wait, here comes Mrs. Jew." "She's stopped." "Is she?" "Is she?" "Here it comes." "She's laid a Jew egg." "Go kids!" "Crush that Jew chick before he hatches!" "No, not film me!" "Film him." "Urkin, not too much raping..." "Humans only." "Doltan, I'll get you a new arm in America." "Wave goodbye to your clock radio, asshole!" "If you cheat on me, I will come over there and snap off your cock." "JFK INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT New York City" "GUY BORGES Manager, Wellington Hotel" "America is known for its sense of humor." "UN survey say Kazakhstan have 98th lowest humor." "We must improve." "Hurry, hurry" "Just dry him, no hand relief." "How is my back pussy?" "Not bad." "Moist." "So what time this interview?" "Soon, my friend." "Gently." "Enough!" "PAT HAGGERTY Humor Coach" "Get up!" "Get up!" "Why aren't you ready!" "We have people to interview today." "I understand." "Learn what you can from this women's group." " My hair?" " It's beautiful." "Don't worry." "VETERAN FEMINISTS OF AMERICA" "What do you mean, California?" "I have arranged all our filming for New York." "But we need to leave New York to find the real America:" "rodeos, cowboys..." "it will be better for our documentary." "But why California?" "What's there?" "Pearl Harbor is there..." "And so is Texas." "Okay, I'll find another way for us to get there." "MICHAEL PSENICSKA Perry Hall Driving School" "JIM SELL GM Salesman" "Look who has an embassy here!" "BOB BARR Former Georgia Congressman" "GAY PRIDE PARADE" "ALAN KEYES 2-time Republican Presidential Candidate" "Yes, minister, we're on schedule." "Yes, I'm standing in the middle of Times Square." "It's time to prepare for your TV appearance." "Remember to talk of singing national anthem at rodeo." "Don't worry, I am a TV professional." "You're singing at a rodeo tonight!" "Why didn't you mention it?" "What can I do, they are not professional." "Get a move on, we have 100 miles to go." "BOBBY ROWE General Manager, Imperial Rodeo" "We nearly died last night." "This journey is cursed." "We should have stayed in New York." "Look, Azamat, a Gypsy village." "Let us extract some of their tears so we can remove the curse." "Azamat, great success!" "I've got the tears." "Onwards to California!" "Let's go." "What's that you've got there?" "It's nothing." "Don't worry about it." "Are we going the right way?" " I don't know, this map is from 1917." " Where the hell are we?" "I'm going to stop and ask." "No, no, no, keep going." "Keep going." "Pull over and let's see if we can stay here." "We can't stay here, they are player haters." "They're Jews." " I know that now." "They'll kill us." "We need to escape." "Look, the Jews have shifted their shapes." "OK, OK." "How much shall I give them?" "I don't know..." "More." "Give them more." "Go." "Go." "Let's go back to New York, at least there's no Jews there." "Calm down." "We'll keep heading to California." "Why California?" "What's so special about California?" "We are going to California!" "And get killed on the way?" "Relax, Azamat!" "I will get us protection." "MUNCH RANCH Exotic Animal Dealer" "We're safe." "Now we continue to California." "Switch it off." "It so annoying!" "Kazakhstan needs to learn about American fine dining." "First, a lady will teach you southern manners." "How long have I got?" "An hour." "Then you have dinner date with high society." "KATHIE B. MARTIN Etiquette Coach" "THE MAGNOLIA MANSION Dining Society" "You want to come with us?" "Up yours!" "Don't spend more than $3." "We're low on money." "Have you offered them pubic hair?" "Yes!" "It was a mistake." "You screwed up again." "I didn't see the truck." " I slipped on it and that was it." " Only an idiot could do this." "You've ruined this documentary and almost bankrupt us." "So call the ministry and get more money." "What?" "If I did that, they would kill us!" "California had better be as good as you say, or we're finished." "You bastard." "What's the matter with you?" "How dare you make hand-party over Pamela." "Why do you care who I pleasure myself to?" "Because I love this woman." "She's the reason we travel to California!" "What?" "You lied to me!" "You lied about California!" "Eat my asshole!" "MORTGAGE BROKERS ANNUAL BANQUET" "FRATERNITY BROTHERS Univ. of S. Carolina" "How will I get home?" "CHARLES "CHIP" PICKERING U.S. Congressman" "JIM SMITH Chief Justice, State Supreme Court" "You traitor!" "Look, I can explain." "You attack me." "My mustache still taste of your testes!" "Calm down." "Let me explain." "What did you do with the bear?" "She ran off." "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." "Hey!" "Fuck off, Death!" "You need to calm yourself!" "You have to calm down!" "Well, that's another fine mess you've gotten me into." "I knew you'd make it here, Borat." "I felt so bad that I prepare this for you." "It's everything I could find on Pamela." "Last Friday she appeared for a group who are against cruelty to animals." "Against cruelty to animals?" "And tomorrow she's doing a signing." "She wrote a book." "What?" "A woman has written a book?" "Dr. Yamak would never believe this." "I know." "We will go to this historical event, and I will marry Pamela there but in the traditional Kazakhi way." "Azamat, let's prepare the wedding sack." "You forgive me, yes?" "Yes." "PAMELA ANDERSON AUTOGRAPH SIGNING Orange, CA" "8 MONTHS LATER" "English" " US" " Forced"

"Joy to the world I'm getting laid." "I'm getting laid tonight." "We'll light the yule log, deck the halls, and then we'll play some jingle ballz." "It's been a real long wait this is our second date." "It's Christmas Eve and I'm getting laid." "Hey, I'm mixing up the eggnog." "You want this broad lit up or just slightly glowing?" "Well, let's see, we're celebrating peace on earth ...and good will towards all mankind, so let's get 'er plowed!" "Hallelujah!" "Glo-oh-oh-oh-oh-ria" "Tonight I'm boinking Gloria." "Two and a Half Men S04E11" ""Walnuts and Demerol"" "Four callgirls, three french maids two drunk twins and a lap dance in a pear tree." "Merry Christmas, Uncle Charlie." "Oh, right." "The other part of Christmas." "Go ahead, open it." "Hold on." "Let me give you your gift first." "I don't want you to think I forgot you." " A hundred bucks?" "Wow!" " I picked it out myself." " Now open yours." " Okay." "It's kind of exciting..." "Fart in a can?" "You don't have one, do you?" "Well, I've got you." "This is good for travel." "Jake, I just talked to your mom she's gonna be here any minute." "Don't look at Uncle Charlie's gift." "You're getting the same thing." " Oh, boy." "I'm excited." " Don't be." "Oh, speaking of gifts..." "Merry Christmas." "I'll leave it up to you." "You can open it tomorrow morning at your mom's or..." "You can rip it open with your teeth like a rabied jackal." "You got me the new Nintendo?" "It's from Uncle Charlie, too." "You owe me 125 dollars." " But I just..." " Wow, this is so cool!" "Thanks Dad!" "Thanks Uncle Charlie!" "Yeah yeah." "Merry Christmas." " I'm gonna go hook it up." " No no no." "No, you're leaving." "Your Uncle Charlie's hookin' up." " You're leaving too, right?" " Yes, relax." "I plan on spending Christmas Eve at a movie theatre all by myself just so you can have sex tonight." "You can have sex too." "Just pick the right movie theatre." "Jake!" "Time to go!" "Take some paper towels and don't wear your suede shoes." " Ho ho ho." " That's another option." " Merry Christmas!" " Merry Christmas!" "Come on in." "Hey, Merry Christmas, Charlie." "Yeah, swell." "I go get the kid." " Ooh, eggnog." " Honey, we've got a long drive ahead of us." "We're spending the holiday in San Diego with my parents." "That's why I need eggnog." "Hey, I spent thanksgiving with your parents." "Oh, oh really?" "Your Mom's out of rehab?" "Yes, my Mom's out of rehab." "Actually, she kind of jumped the fence." "Well, woman's gonna be your mother-in-law you might as well get used to it." "Remember the time she rode out of Betty Ford on a lawnmower?" "On a plus side she bakes Toll House cookies with walnuts and demerol." "Stuff never goes back in the box the way it came out." "That's a life lesson, Jake." "Come on, your Mom's here." "Vamos." "Ok, table set on the deck and dinner's in the owen." "Right." "You might wanna keep the candles away from the eggnog." "Got it." "Allright then." "I'm leaving now." "Well, then goodbye and thanks." "Yeah, Merry Christmas." " Merry Christmas." " All the best." " Same to you." "Gimme my bonus you blockhead." "Oh, right." "Thank you for all your hard work." "I couldn't get along without you." "You're one in a million." "Really?" "What would Jesus do?" " Herb?" " Oh, no thanks." "I'm driving." "I'll have some." "No, you won't." "It's for grownups." "I'll have another." "Sweetie, my parents are waiting." "I know, dear." "Apple doesn't fall far from the tree, does it?" "Okay." "Merry Christmas to all." "And to all: a goodbye." "Hang on." "I got a long bus ride and I dont want to sober up halfway home." "Hello?" "Kandy?" "What are you doing here?" "I didn't wana be alone on Christmas Eve and I didn't know where else to go." "Where's your new boyfriend?" "He decided to spend Christmas with his family." "Why didn't he bring you along?" "He thought I would make his wife uncomfortable." "Oh, sweetie come on in." "Whoa whoa whoa I've got company coming, remember?" "I can't just throw her out, Charlie." "How do you know if you don't try?" "Lighten up, it's Christmas." "Okay, two minutes, and then I bring out the fart in the can." "You remember Judith." " Hi Judith." " Hello." "And this is her fiancé, Herb." " Hi Herb." " Hi." "Hey, let me take your coat." "Oh my golly." "Well, I guess we should get going." "What's the hurry?" "Your parents are waiting, remember?" "What do you care, they don't like you anyway." "Eggnog?" " Thank you." " You're welcome." "I'm a doctor." "A real one or like Alan?" "I'm a pediatrician." "Wow." "So you're into feet?" "No." "Children." "Isn't that illegal?" "Berta." "Don't you have a bus to catch?" "And miss the show, are you nuts?" "Feliz navidad everyone." "I didn't see that one coming." "Mom, what are you doing here?" "Well I was on my way to a party." "Thought I drop off your gift so I don't have to schlepp back here tomorrow and mess up my day." " Charlie?" " Rose!" "How could you have a Christmas party and not invite me." " This isn't a Christmas party." " What do you call it?" "The beggining of a new story that ends with the phrase: "then turned the gun on himself"" "Allright, allright." "Everybody listen up, listen to me." "There is no party." "You all have to leave now... because a beautiful woman is coming over... and I intend to get her drunk and have sex with her." "That's a good plan." "Except I'm already drunk." "Boy, I can't wait 'till the second act." "Here we go." "More fuel for the fire." "You said you were going home." "Well, that was before I knew you're having a party." "This isn't a party." "It's just a bunch of people I don't like standing around drinking my booze." "Oh, crap." "It is a party." "Gimme that." "I'd love to know what those two are talking about." "I could tell you." "I read lips." " Really?" " Yep." "Now you're date is saying..." "A wily ostrich sank my boat." "I have a little congestion in my upper chest." "Can you take a look at it?" " Oh well I could..." " Kandi, he's a pediatrician." " He only treats children." " Now hold on." "There's no actual age limit." "I took an oath to ease suffering wherever I find it." "Alan, a word." "Oh, good." "A word." "I don't have my stethoscope, so why don't you just breathe in and out for me." "Make this stop." "I'm sorry." "I don't know what you're talking about." "Don't screw with me." "Tell your ex-wife to stop flirting with my fiancé." "Gee, that's funny. the way I see it, your peanut butter is all over my chocolate." "Damn it, Alan, I can make your life a living hell." "How would I know the difference?" "Cough again." "Once more." "Let's have a little pow-wow." "She might have a touch of the croup." " Listen, Herb." " So you were married to her?" "Yes, we were married." "Herb, Judith is getting really upset with you." "So you got to see her naked?" "Stay with me Herb." " Your fiancée is very angry." " Really?" "How come?" "I don't know." "Maybe it's because you were trying to use Kandi's nipple as a Q-Tip." "It's Ok." "I'm a doctor." "Just do yourself a favor, go pay some attention to Judith." "Oh, allright." "Some party, huh?" "Yeah, I'm glad I didn't waste this buzz on the bus." "Here comes your mom." "Act like you didn't know what they were saying." " Charlie." "I must talk to you." " I know." "Why is that?" "How serious is your relationship with Gloria?" "Not that it's any of your business, but this is our second date." "What happened on the first date?" "He went out to dinner, he took her home and made out a little bit in the car." "Oh, I'm sorry." "Did you want to tell it?" " So you haven't slept together." " Not yet." " Oops, here I go again." " That's good." "Darling, you need to end this relationship now." "Why?" " Do you trust me?" " No." "Ok, but you know I have your best interest at heart, don't you?" "No." "Allright, then let me put it this way." "I forbid you to see this woman anymore." "You forbid?" "What gives you to forbid?" "I'm 39 years old." "I'm your mother, you're 40, and you must not see this woman anymore." "Mom, you know that just makes me want her more." "Charlie, I mean it." "I'm getting hotter." "Look." "I know certain things about Gloria's past wich are, well... unsavory." "Ok, I'm going supernova." "Would you listen to me?" "If you continue to see this woman, it will hurt me deeply." "I may have to marry this girl." "Okay, okay." "You give me no choice." "Who are you calling?" "It's probably about the ostrich and the boat." "Charlie, I'm getting pretty drunk, so if you like a girl who moves you better do me soon." "Follow me." "Aw, ain't that sweet?" "Everytime a guy has sex and angel gets a stiffie." "Will you look at them?" "Oh, I completely forgot about the subplot." "What do you want me to do, Judith?" "He's your man." "You want him, fight for him." "How could I compete with that?" "There's no competition." "Herb loves you." "You have a mature, sophisticated relationship based on mutual respect." "All Kandi has is..." "There will be other men..." "Just get her as soon as you can!" "Where's Charlie?" "Oh, dammit!" "Oh, I get it." "It's like Tony n' Tina's Wedding." "You gotta following' around." "Hey Mammy-o, Daddy-o!" " Hi buddy." "Mammy-o, Daddy-o, Daddy-o Mammy-o, Mammy-o, Daddy-o." "STOP!" "Mom!" "Get out of that bed this instant!" "I don't think that's a good idea." "Charlie, I'm warning you." "You can't tell him what to do, he's 34 years old." " What?" " She's drunk." "Mom, what are you doing here?" "I'm trying to keep you from doing a horrible mistake." "What do you care?" "I make this mistake on a regular basis." "Some might call it a lifestyle." " Charlie, I..." " I don't want to hear it." "I came up here to do a job." "Actually, two jobs and a chore." "Now, you can stay and watch, wich I don't recommend, or you can leave." "Either way Gloria and I are going to have sex." "Go ahead." "Okay, I'm bluffing." "He sure is." "Jingle bells, jingle bells" "Jingle all the way" "Oh, what fun it is to ride In a one horse open sleigh" "Jingle bells, jingle bells..." " Um, have you seen Jake?" " Nope." "Huh." " Jake?" " Whoa, whoa!" "Judith, what the hell are you doing?" "You told me to fight for my man, I'm fighting for my man." "Alan, would you please close the door?" "Allright." "Twelve years of marriage, she never fought for me from that angle." "Silent night" "Holy night" " Kandi?" " Yeah?" "Take a break." " Oki doc." "Hello." "Oh my goodness." "Are you Alan?" " Um, yes." " I haven't seen you in 35 years." "No kidding." "I'm sorry I don't remember you." "Oh, well I'm not surprised." "At the time you were busy learning to use the big boy potty." "Ah, well..." "I did it!" "Good job." "Um, listen Alan." "I'm looking for my daughter." "Drunk blonde?" "Well she isn't always... blonde." " Upstairs." " Ah, thank you." "You know, you turned out to be a very attractive man." "Oh, thank you." "Could have gone either way." "Lucky you grew into those ears." "Frosty the Snowman" "Was a very jolly soul" "With a corncob pipe and a button nose" "And two eyes made out of coal." "Dammit Charlie, you don't know what you're getting into here." "Oh, I think I have a pretty good idea." "I mean what could you possibly tell me about Gloria that would get me to kick her out of bed?" "She's married, clinically insane, she's a man?" "You're not a man, are you?" " No." " Then we're good." " Gloria, get out of that bed!" " Mom!" "Mom?" " Well, did tell them?" " I tried, but I couldn't." " Why not?" " What do you mean why not?" "What do you think?" "Oh, so as usual I have to do your dirty work." "You can't sleep with him because he might be your brother." "There." "Was that so hard?" "It's certainly not hard for someone who has no shame." "Says the woman who killed my husband." "I did not kill Sherman, I made Sherman happy." "Excuse me, excuse me." "Hold on, hold on." "Can we go back to the part, where I may be her brother..." "Oh, dear Lord, has the blood not returned to your brain, yet?" "It was the 70's, we were young attractive couples." "And there was a gas shortage, so we had to entertain at home." "Wait, wait wait." "Are you saying you and her husband..." "Yes, and she and your father... it's a blame-o pack." "It started with a weekly fondue party, but... one night the dipping didn't stop at cheese." "Fortunately some of us couldn't handle it." "You did unspeakable things with Sherman and then he wanted to them with me." "Oh nonsense, I just raised the bar a bit." "Raised the bar?" "Do you have any idea... how many third world countries that man visited... trying to find someone else who would do those things?" "He didn't have to go abroad." "He was just looking for a bargain." "If it weren't for you he would never have contracted Amoebic dysentery and die." "I..." "I hate to interrupt... but I'm still trying to process the "I'm her brother" thing." "Not the shiniest penny in the road, is he?" "Now allright." "I guess I'm gonna spell it out for you." "Based on the amount of time that have lapsed... between the last fondue party and Gloria's birth..." "Not to mention the fact that Sherman lost interest in traditional sex with me." "Thank you very much." "There is a very real possibility that your father may be her father." " Wow." " God!" "So you can see why an incest of this nature is completely unacceptable." "It's not like we couldn't have forseen this... given that your son has spent the bulk of his adult life... humping his way through the greater Los Angeles area." "Oh, unlike this boozeled tart is an innocent victim." "Hey, I'm drunk not deaf." "Just get of bed and get dressed." "Well, that was humiliating." "Just be glad we didn't have to tell them about our little experiment." " Don't remind me." " Oh, you loved it." "Oh, a third act twist." " Wow." " Yeah." " I'm so horny right now I can't believe it." " Who whoa whoa." "Did you miss what just went down here, sis?" "Oh, come on it's not like we're gonna get married and have a bunch of web-footed kids." "You have absolutely no boundaries, do yo?" "Well, I don't like fat guys..." "Interesting." "Turns out, I draw the line at incest." "So you'd do a fat guy?" "Did you hear that?" "Charlie found his boundary." "It's a miracle." "Christmas miracle." "Judith, can I just say that this was the best Christmas ever?" "Yeah, well, don't get used to it." "'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house..." "Not a creature was stirring..." "Okay, just so we're clear, you're only doing this to piss off my Mom?" "You have a problem with that?" "No, that makes it better."

"My father left Yugoslavia shortly after I was born." "We were introduced to each other... for the first time in a train station in Gary, Indiana..." "America." "It's Chicago, Indiana, America!" "America." "Hey, Prozor, is that your family?" "Yes, my woman, my son, my family." "Welcome to the US of A!" "Danilo." "That makes a total of 60 miles." "Have you ever been there?" "Come on, Gergley!" "I'll sock him." "It's a great way to get in shape." " It develops your lungs like nothing else." " A moving concert." "And if the audience wants to listen, they have to keep up." "We'd have to face the audience, so we'd have to run backwards, right?" "That's a good point." "Come on, you guys." "Tom?" "Danny?" "David, Tom, and Danilo were the best of friends... and they loved the same girl, Georgia." "She lived next door to me on Aberdeen Lane." "And I loved to watch the boys come to call." "They always came together." "It kept me young, trying to guess which one she would choose." "Wonderful kids, all four." "Good evening, boys." " Hello, Mrs. Zoldos." " Good evening, Mrs. Zoldos." "Is it time for the Senior Class Concert already?" "Yes, it is, Mrs. Zoldos." "Wait till you see the dress Georgia made for the occasion." "It's so lovely." "She was dancing out on the porch earlier." "Good evening, kiddos." "That is no way to behave at a concert, Georgia Miles." "Swear to God, Mr. Lucas, when I hear music something happens to me... and I either have to move, or scream my head off or something." "Something's in my blood, sir... and I don't know what it is." "But I do know if I can't dance, I'd die." "Maybe you should see a doctor." "A doctor!" "These middle-class minds... they don't know what passion is... what ecstasy is, what it's like to be possessed." "I'm gonna be a famous dancer." "I am, I just know it." " She's gonna be a dancer." " Listen to my heart." "It doesn't just beat, David." "It keeps a beat." "Here, go ahead and listen." "Come on." "Do you hear it?" "Listen." "Go ahead." "Do you believe me?" "I'm going home." "I'll see you around." "I was born on the very day and the very hour... that Isadora Duncan died." "Her soul is inside of me." "If you don't believe me, I never want to see you again... any of you again." "Never." " But she died in 1927." " So what?" "It took her soul 15 years to find somebody like me." "It's so beautiful!" "It's standing and it seems to move." " I told you I'd see you around." " Style, that's what it is." "Without style you're dead ducks, kiddos." "Allow me to introduce myself:" "Dead Duck Levine." " I got to get glasses on Monday." " So what?" " My dad wears glasses." " So what?" "I'm getting to be more and more like him." "And my hair is getting thinner... my ass is getting fatter." "It's like the Invasion of the Body Snatchers." " Pretty soon, I'll be just like him." " Not if you don't want to." "I don't want to." "You think I want to?" "I don't!" " Ever hear of genes and chromosomes?" " They don't matter." "Jewish chromosomes matter." "He wants me to take over his business when I get out of school." " David, you don't wanna be a mortician." " No, I don't wanna be a mortician." "You think I wanna be a mortician?" "I don't." " Between chromosomes and traditions..." " You know what?" "We have to think, David." " Please." " Hypnosis." "Please." "Short of conversion, I'll do anything." " Let's give him a word." " No, two words." "And whenever you feel the evil influence of the middle class... muddling your soul, just say these two words and you'll be a free spirit again:" "Isadora Duncan." " Who's Isadora Duncan?" " "Who's Isadora Duncan?"" "She was the greatest dancer who ever lived." " And she was killed in just such a car." " Actually, it was a Bugatti." "You and your facts." "I can't understand how you can write poems to me and still cling to facts." "Poems?" "Recite it for them, Danilo." "Come on, Danny." ""I love you like the Pilgrim loves the Holy Land" ""Like the wayfarer loves his wayward ways" ""Like the immigrant that I am loves America" ""And the blind man the memory of his sighted days"" "Our Danilo will maybe be a famous poet someday." "And I will definitely be a famous dancer." "And we're all gonna do wonderful things." "And if anyone disagrees, they can leave." "School's ending, kiddos... and it's out into this world with us all." "We are poised and ready to fly." "Isadora Duncan!" "So, no more school after this year." " There is college." " Not for you." "We are people who work." " In America, you..." " I am in America." "I work." "Your mother cleans floors." "She works." "What country are you in?" "Tell me." "You make fun of my life with your dreams of..." "I'm tired and I have to go to work." "That is America." "Last night, I dreamed I danced with Isadora Duncan." "Those things I saw while I danced..." "Wild, wild things." "And I never did those steps before." "They were just coming to me in the last second." "Just when I thought there was no place to go, something would... come to me and off I went!" "And she went with me." "I think I could ravage all three of you." "I'm starved." " Here's a tender young morsel." " Get him, Isadora." "Get him." " Hey, play fair." " Dora." "I think my glasses are broken." " I got a new car!" " It's beautiful!" "My dad bought me a new car." "It's got push buttons." "It's got a radio." "The whole thing!" " Come on." "Hit it!" " Listen to what's playing." "Hurry!" "Turn up the radio." " Where to?" " Let's find somewhere so beautiful... we have to stop." "And if we can't find it, let's just keep going." "We can hardly do that." "Then why did you ask me, kiddo?" "And what kind of funeral arrangements... did you make with your father to get this car, kiddo?" "I made a decision." "My days as a virgin are drawing to a close." "And away we go." "Danilo." "Hi." "Look at the moon, Danilo." " It's nice." " "Nice"?" "Puppy dogs are nice." "A moon like this is... beautiful." ""And I, like the tide, am moved by the moon" ""moaning with desire"" "I wrote that." "That's real nice." "Beautiful." "I feel inspired." "I can't finish my poem till I know what love is... and I came here to find out." "Help me in." "No, we can't." "My father's room is right next to mine and he's asleep." "Let him sleep." "We'll do it quietly." "It's a big step." "I love big steps, love them." "That word "love" keeps coming up." "No, Georgia." "We can't do this." "We can't." "Not now, not like this." "We're not even..." "Not with you." "No." "I felt like Christmas all the way here." "I was bringing you a gift and you don't want it." " Well, I..." " You'll be sorry, Danilo." "The moment's gone." " No." " Lower your shade more." "Damn!" "Since we are justifiably proud to be called the Steel Capital of the Nation... it gives me great pride to present Mr. Jack Bellknap... representing the steel companies of America." "Thank you." "I don't think it's an exaggeration at all... to begin by saying that America was built by steel." "That is not an exaggeration, it's a lie." "America was not built!" "It grew out of a dream." "This is a school!" "It's an institution of learning!" "It is not an employment agency!" " Tell it to him!" " Fellow students... don't be misled by those people." "We're not fodder for their mills." "We're seekers of destiny..." " with a spark of genius inside each of us!" " Get him out." "They've turned this temple of knowledge into a den of thieves!" "Hallelujah, brother Danilo!" "...that free men might serve in bondage." " Let us get quiet." " Just forget him." "He's a foreigner." "Sit down!" "Jack." "As I was saying... the steel industry offers job opportunities for all of us." "No more" "Hit the road, Jack and don't you come back no more" "Girl, what you say?" "Hit the road, Jack and don't you come back no more, no more" "Hit the road, Jack and don't you come back no more" "Let's get quiet." "Please!" "Not at table." "Bigmouth in school." "He thinks he's better." "He thinks he's better than I am." "You are not better." "You are nothing." "You make me humiliated." "Son who is a Communist." "They tell me at factory." "Fight back!" "You coward." "Fight back!" "You are like many of them I knew." "You want to hide from life... but life will find you, you will see... and step on you." "It will happen." " Come on, Gergley, shoot the ball." " Prozor, when's my turn to get Georgia?" " Gergley's an asshole." " Everything's put away." "Get a load of Rudy." "Gergley hooks." "Let's go." "Danny, come on." "Play with us." "Out of my way, jibo." " Don't call me that, Gergley." " All right, nigger." "You don't scare nobody, fat ass." "Sharon, run!" "Come on, Rudy." "I got something for you." "I'm gonna get rid of you and have a party with the girl, Rudy." "I'll kill you, honky." "I'll kill all of y'all." " I'll kill you, mother..." " Come on, Danny." "Where do you think you're going, Jew boy?" " Gergley, you son of a bitch!" " Get out of the way, Prozor." "Let's burn his ass." "Come here, Rudy." "I got something for you." "Come on." "Hey, nigger, come here." "Fire!" "The Marcels with the Number 7 sound in our town:" "Blue Moon." "Checking the time..." "What's happening?" "What the hell's happening?" "Other arms reach out to me" "Other eyes smile tenderly" "Still in peaceful dreams I see" "The road leads back to you" "I say Georgia" "Georgia" "Oh, Georgia" "You can't just wait there all night, Danny." " Tell her goodbye." " I will." "Autumn came early that year." "At least, it did on Aberdeen Lane." "Georgia's house, once so full of music and noise... fell silent." "The whole street seemed to be holding its breath... or maybe it was just that I was." "Georgia" "The whole day through" "All right, that's enough!" "Enough?" "It's too much." "I used to like that song till I heard it played every day for two years." "Here it is." "The moon, my friend, can save the Earth." "Wars will stop... hostilities and suspicions cease when we realize... from out there, that the Earth is nothing more than a dot... a comma in the great poem of the universe." "And you accuse me of being a sentimental cornball?" "I'm a scientific cornball." "Come on, get over here." "Take a peek at the future." "It's beautiful, the future." " Come on!" "Take a peek." " All right, Louie." "I'll take a look." "It better be good." "Sometimes..." "I can actually see the whole universe:" "the galaxies... and the stars, the planets." "And, yes, when stars collide, it's out of loneliness." "They're out there orbiting in the void... and they collide, as if to embrace." "God, I hope I'm alive when we land on the moon." "Of course you'll be alive." "Horny, but alive." " In case I'm not..." " I don't want to listen to that stuff." "...let's make a promise to each other." "The minute that first man lands the first foot on the moon... at that very instant, you think of me." "And I, if such things are possible..." "I will think of you." "Is that a deal?" "You got it." "Wonderful." "Gives me something to look forward to." "Elizabeth Barrett Browning wrote many sonnets." "One of her most famous is Sonnet Number 43." ""How do I love thee?" "Let me count the ways"" "I'm sorry, but the first line of the sonnet is not the question." "Northwestern." ""I love thee with a passion put to use In my old grief" ""and with my childhood faith"" "For 10 points, complete the last four lines of the poem." " "I love you"..." " You'll have to speak up, Mr. Prozor." ""I love you like the Pilgrim loves the Holy Land" ""Like the wayfarer loves his wayward ways" ""Like the immigrant that I am loves America" ""And the blind man the memory of his sighted days"" "That is not correct." "Quickly." "James Fenimore Cooper wrote The Last of the Mohicans." "Thank you for letting me see your television." "My husband does not like television." "Mrs. Zoldos stipulated in her will that I take care of the funeral arrangements." "So I did." "She was my first customer." "I was losing my old friends, and I wasn't making any new ones." "I walked around looking sad and miserable... hoping that everybody would notice what a tragic figure I was." "What am I doing?" " Throwing your stuff around." " I'm hiding out, that's what I'm doing!" "Hiding out after three years." "I can't believe I'm looking into grad schools to continue doing it." "I must be insane!" "I think you're just horny." "I'm serious, damn it." "Hormonal crises can bring about intellectual despair." "Just think of having a girl here." "She starts undoing the buttons on her blouse." "It falls." "She slips out of her slip." "It falls." "She stands there looking at me." "And I'm looking at the tan she got that summer." "And then she takes off what's left on." "And I can see the secret white outline of her summer vacation... as she tiptoes through her fallen wardrobe toward me." "I'm going crazy." "Danny boy, we need some snatch." "I need it." "Help." "Snatch!" "It must be nice... to make love to a girl." "But you know what?" "I'm kind of terrified of dying without ever knowing what it's like." "What are you talking about?" "Science is making all kinds of progress, that's what you keep telling me." " Are you lying to me?" " No." "But viruses are making progress, too." "Tell Daddy I'm cured!" "Bye, Sis." "Kiss Mom." "It was a nice weekend." "We should do it again." " I could've taken the train." " I'm telling you, it's nothing." "You didn't have to buy a car." "I'm rich, very rich." "Palm Island rich." "My Daddy made it big in steel." "Blessed be the pig iron, the slag, and the open hearth." "She's getting married." "At least she invited you." " I hope she and Tom will be very happy." " No, you don't, but I hope you do." "Quiz Bowl kid comes to kiss the bride?" " What happened?" " I got married." "No, the..." "I scratched it." "Very stylish, don't you think?" "The minister couldn't take his eyes off it." "So did you come to kiss or sulk?" "Louie." "I'd like you to meet my good buddy, Louie Carnahan." "Georgia, Tom." " Hello, David." " Hello, Louie." "Thanks for coming." "Yes, I've heard about all of you." " I hope that you and Tom will be very happy." " I hope so, too." " What about David and me?" " Yes, of course, it's just that... the custom calls for the bride and groom..." "I think I better shut up." "David?" " She asked me and..." " I'm gonna have a baby." " Congratulations." " It's Tom's baby." "I better shut up again." "What the hell's going on?" " I didn't want to get married." " I did." "I love ceremonies." "I can't wait to have my baby." "Isadora Duncan had babies, and it made her dance that much better." " It did." "It made her fly." " What about me?" " That's what I'm gonna do, I'll fly." " Why didn't you tell me?" " You had your chance." " Well, so did you." "You had your chance, too." "You're gonna dance, huh?" "You're not gonna dance!" "You're not gonna do anything!" "You'll spend the rest of your life here in East Chicago, Isadora Duncan." "I wouldn't bet on it, kiddo!" "You're developing a hateful streak, Danilo Prozor." "It's not very stylish of you." "It's rather common." "Vulgar, actually!" "Georgia" "A song of you" " All right, that's enough." " Too bad." "Now I'm hooked." "Comes as sweet and clear As moonlight through the pines" "Other arms reach out to me" "Other eyes smile tenderly" "Still in peaceful dreams I see" "it'll be just like you to get yourself killed in the war... and so fool everybody one more time." "I'll be back." "You can quote me on that." "Thanks for the lift." "Maybe we won't ever see each other again." "Then again, maybe we will." " Goodbye." " Bye." "And the rockets' red glare" "The bombs bursting in air" "Gave proof through the night" "That our flag was still there" "My friend, Danilo, is a national anthem freak." "He goes to football games so he can stand up... and blend in the crowd of thousands singing, "Oh, say can you see."" "In all the time I've known him, I've never heard him say "United States" once." "It was always "America."" "Like he saw something when he said it." "America." "We will now have a moment of silence in memory of John F. Kennedy." "You're blocking the view, God damn it!" "Move." " Get out of the way." " This is absurd." "What do you gotta come into a hospital for in the first place?" "They have good lights here, and I wanted an audience." "I don't need any help, just applause." "Here it comes!" "It's coming!" " Hit it, David!" " Push." "Nonsense!" "Mother." "Danilo." "It's all eroding." "But the way my daddy sees it... the ocean is attacking his property and he's fighting back." "What's his is his, come hell or high water." " He seems like a very..." " Yes, he is." "She thinks we should get married." "If you do, I'd suggest you elope and not tell anyone." "Philosophy?" "When nations start worrying about their philosophies... it's a sure sign they're on the decline." "The Huns, the Goths, the Ostrogoths, the Vandals... didn't worry about philosophies." "Cowards tinker with philosophies." "Would you fight, Mr. Prozor?" "I see that you're sitting out this war, but would you ever fight?" "Fight for what?" "For anything or anyone." "Or would you have a philosophy instead to justify why you didn't?" "Now, this may sound inhospitable of me... but what I'm basically trying to find out is if somebody attacked you..." "If I attacked you, would you fight back?" "It seems to me as if you're attacking me right now." "Yeah, and it seems to me you're not fighting back." "It's cruel world, dear." "Nobody wants to fight you." "I want to marry Adrienne." "It appears I spoke too soon." "So you want to take my daughter from me." "I believe the tradition is you give her away." "Mr. Prozor, you are looking at a man who gives nothing away that he wants to keep." "This proposal falls under that heading." "I hope you change your mind." "I believe a change would do you a lot of good." "Is something puzzling you?" "I'm just sizing up the situation, Mr. Carnahan." "You don't like me... and I guess I don't like you." "I guess, for Adrienne's sake, we'd better get to know each other better... before you try to plunge headlong into my family." "With a year of school left, we should be able to do just that." "Good." "Would you excuse me, please?" "Don't I always, dear?" "Adrienne." "What a wonderful Christmas present." "My son is going to marry a rich man's daughter." "He's going to skip steps, to skip the factories and the sweat... to go to the top." "Your son is asking for your blessing..." " and your permission to marry." " You are like hell asking." "You make plans, and you come here with your plans and your packages... and try to pretend that you are a loving son... and I am a loving father." "That is not how it is." "Give me your blessing, Father." "Please." "Rich don't need blessing." "Please." "I will come to your wedding." "That is all." "Don't worry about him." "He loves the snow." "It's not like Tom to write, so he wrote." "And you know what?" "He wrote me in Vietnamese." "I mean, I think it's Vietnamese." "It's not English." "I told my dad it looked like Hebrew, but he didn't think that was very funny." "You mean, Georgia just took off?" "Yeah, but I'm used to it." "She'll be back." "You know Georgia." "I hope so." "It's really something being married to her." "I told you he loves the snow." "Georgia says he's going to be a dancer." "Did I tell you what his name was?" "I knew there was something I had to tell you." "Isador Duncan Levine." "With a name like that, he better do something." "It's snowing like hell." "Where's your roommate?" "Hi." "It's all over you." " Danilo's not here." " He's not?" "He went to East Chicago." "So we just missed each other." "I'm leaving for New York." "You have a fever." " I'm freezing." " Here, cover up." "Here." "Are these family pictures?" "Oh, my." "Look at Aunt Louise." "I don't know why you ever left home." "Good night, darling." "I brought you a Christmas present, Louie Carnahan." "Shall I unwrap it?" "Sure." "What is it?" "Even if it's a hallucination, it's one of my best." "Georgia, Georgia" " Don't be mad at me." " How could I be mad at you?" "I don't know, but if you think of a reason, try and forget it." "The whole day through" "Just an old sweet song" "Your father has arranged to have a doctor on the plane with you." " I'll see you in New York in June." " For the wedding?" "Yeah, for the wedding." "Hey, slow the bus down!" "Slow it down, man." " Dan!" " Rudy!" " Hey, mister, what's happening?" " Where you going?" "Mississippi this time." "From Rough Rider to freedom rider." " Where you headed?" " New York." "Hey, man, you like to make speeches, so come on." "Come on." "And not a moment too soon." "Here comes the groom" "You're all well." "I'm made of iron." "At least, my lungs are." " The Yugoslav has arrived." " With his trunk." "As I said I would." "Mom, stop it." "Big day tomorrow, Mr. Prozor." "Here they come!" "We did it." "A toast to the newlyweds." "To my daughter, Adrienne Carnahan." " I'm not losing a daughter." " No!" "No, I'm not losing a daughter." "In effect, what I'm saying is that I refuse to lose a daughter." "America." "Here are the lineups." "At second base, Number 16..." " I don't know what to tell you." " I'm sorry." "Louie?" "I just came back to pick up my trunk and say goodbye to Louie." "Louie died September 29." "I buried him yesterday." "It's a very confusing time for me." "The wedding presents are still wrapped with cards on them." "The same people who sent them sent condolences." "They're all in the same room, one on top of the other." "Stay." "Louie..." "I always knew it was just a matter of time... but the time was unexpected." "The excess of all this is a little staggering." "For 30 years, I've been a wife... and for over 20, I've been a mother." "Now those words are taken away from me." "I'm now... a woman." "I don't know what to do with that word." "421, West 88th Street, please." "Let's go." "Wait for me." "I want to go, too." "Kiddo, you look terrible." "I wake up in the morning loving you." "I get through the day loving you." "I go to sleep loving you." "It's been that way for so long." "It won't stop." "And I don't know what to do with all this love." "I don't." "I thought maybe you might want some of it." "Oh, kiddo..." "I have... all these dreams." "I have my life... and it's going somewhere." "And I got to see where." "I don't think we could, you know?" " Not now." " Not now." "No, I know." "I kind of thought as much." "I just had to..." "You don't know when you might..." "Six months?" "I don't know." "A year?" "Two years?" "Kid, I don't know." "Please." "You can't keep asking me that if you're going to stay." "You're right." "And that's just what I would do if I stayed." "Please." "He's stealing my trunk!" "Come back with my car!" "You son of a bitch!" "Stop it." "Stop, you hear me?" "Man, you want this car that bad?" "You can have it, man." "Man, you're really into possessions, you know that?" "You're weird, man." "You know that, you're weird." " You coming to watch television tonight?" " What's on?" "Anything good, Vera?" "Yeah, I'll be there." "I just have to go wash up." "I'm gorgeous!" "Take me." "Hello, kiddo." "I just happened to call your parents... and they just happened to know where you were." "And it just happened I was passing through Pennsylvania." " You all right?" " Yeah." "No." "I don't know." "I'm so tired of being young." "Everybody wants to be young." "They think..." "I don't know." " Come here." " I want you." "Lunchtime." "You want to eat, you don't want to eat?" " You're supposed to go to work, aren't you?" " I told you, I called in sick." " Then you should see a doctor." " I'm fine." " Then you should go to work." " What's the matter with you?" "I have to go back to the city, and I don't want any goodbyes and stuff." "I left baby Isador with some people, I'm worried, and I have to get back." "We'll go back together and get him." "Don't you understand anything?" "I have my car and I want to leave alone." " Goodbye." " You've got to be kidding." " You come all this way to do this?" " I am not kidding!" " You are kidding!" " Like hell I am!" " Like hell you're not." "You're kidding." " Let go of me!" " I don't like you, you mind?" " You're damn right, I mind!" "You're a rotten lover." "And you're great?" "I've got news for you." "I never had it so bad." "Never!" "Fuck you!" "I know why you came back." "You wanted to get me going again." "It's not going to work." "I've had it with you." "You're weird!" "She's weird." " He's crazy." " Yeah, I'm crazy." "I wouldn't let him live in your neighborhood, he's sick." "I'm sick?" "You want to know who's sick?" "She thinks she's Isadora Duncan." "You see this skirt here?" "She thinks that's wonderful." "She thinks..." "You're weird, you know that?" "Everything about you is weird." "She says you look very handsome without your beard." "I'm leaving." "I know." "She says it's like harvest time in the old country." " It's an old, old song." " I know." "It's very beautiful." "It's ridiculous." " Close the door." " Staying in a motel." "What are you doing back in East Chicago?" "I've got a place." " Prozor, I'm talking to you." " David's got a place." "What's with Gergley?" "I thought you were shot or killed or something." " Why don't you get lost Gergley?" " I thought you was wasted-like." "That's a hell of a lot of thinking you've been doing." "We didn't think you had it in you." "Congratulations." "I mean, all this time we thought he was a dumbass... and it turns out that he's a smart-ass." "Congratulations." "You know what you are?" "Gergley, we don't need you here." "You're just a funny-looking Jew boy, that's what you are." "Tell me, which one of you guys is fucking Georgia this year?" "Gergley, surely you must realize... that I'll have to do some kind of damage to you for that remark." " No." "This one's on me." " Oh, no!" "Really." "Before we fight..." "I'd like to make a speech in honor of my upcoming citizenship." "Sucker!" " End of speech." " Nice speech." "Let's get out of here." "I'll kill you." "Get up, Danny." "Hit him!" "Cut it out." " Come on, Danny, that's enough." " Let's go." "Come on, let's go home." " Where's your daddy?" " There." "There seems to be no difficulty in moving around... as we suspected, and walking is also very comfortable." "Since when..." "They did it." "About two to three, or maybe four easy paces can bring you... to a really smooth stop." "Can you hear me, friend?" "So-called kangaroo hops." "I promised something to a friend of mine." "Well, well." "I woke up last week... and there it was." "There it still is." "Everybody thinks it's dyed." " Come back to stay?" " No." "Not a chance." " You?" " No." "I may have a job teaching." "Bessie Tift College." "Teaching what?" "What else does a Yugoslavian teach?" "English." "So, where is this college?" "It's far away." "That way, I won't wait for you to show up again." "That way, I won't be tempted to show up again myself." "If you're near and not close enough, I'd prefer that we were far from each other." " That's a good idea!" " No, it's not." "It's a lousy idea." "But it's the best one I got." "I don't love Tom." "I saw David." "I don't love him, either." "I wanted to love all three of you... but I can't." "It's just you." "Shit." "Just you." "Oh, Christ, it's you." "You." " Me?" " You." "It's not funny." "You want to know the truth?" "I wish I had two lives to live." "I wouldn't mind spending one without you." "Man, you're not the only one." " We know we're not making peace, are we?" " Peace?" "Never." "Why does everything take so long?" "He think Yugoslavia is same like when he was young boy." "I tell him it's all different, but he is stubborn." "Young girls all thought he was so handsome." "Now he is old." "He will find out, I bet you." "And you?" "What do you do now?" "What do you want?" "I sure would like to see you happy just once." "You are a very strange person, Son." "Not really." "I think most kids want to see their parents happy." "But I don't think that's going to happen anymore." "We're both getting older, and we're both disappointed in each other." "Are we just going to keep this up?" "What is it you are suggesting?" "I don't know." "I've never even seen you smile." "When you were born, I smiled." "I guess I wasn't paying attention." "That slipped by me." "When you were born..." "I took off my hat and I beat on the table with it." "And I'm almost sure..." "I was smiling." "That looks good on you, Papa." "Papa." "Goodbye, Papa." "Let me kiss your hand, Papa." "You have funny look in your eye." "I know such look." "Is my side family." "Men of my family, they make dream... they tell good story." "I tell you that... you do something good so I can brag in old country... about my son, the American!" "Okay?" "Okay, Mama." "There was always a man in the moon." "Now there's a man on the moon." "Two men." "They'll come down... and the old man is gonna stay up there." "Are you sure you left everything in there, Citizen Prozor?" " I said I did." " I bet... you squirreled away some stuff somewhere." "I bet he did." "Just this." "He saves everything." "Just think, someday we might look back at all this... and not remember a thing." "I just love you all so much." "Now what?" "I never cried till I met him." "He says he wants to have three kids." "Two boys and a girl." " You know what he wants to name them?" " All right." "You're all going to be godparents, God damn it." "And in that way, if you don't come and visit, then you'll feel guilty." "As soon as we leave Bessie Tift College, we'll stop by... on our way to somewhere." "Leave?" "We're not even there yet." "I hope you don't think I'm going to stay down South forever." "Hell's bells, honey, it's a big country." "This move's yours, the next one's mine." "You know what we've never done?" " A lot of things." " You got it, kiddo." "Here we go!"

"Newscaster:" "Scotland Yard is still refusing to comment on whether last week's bombing of London's Parliament Buildings may have been the work of NIA terrorists." "Fortunately, due to the installation of a new Yamashta security system, the damage was superficial, owing to the fact..." "How many times have I told you?" "You're here to work, not watch." "Table six needs bread." "Oh, do you have the 1961 Quinta do Lisboa?" "That's a wonderful port." "Well, it's a celebration." "What you've done this quarter is an absolute miracle." "Not everyone thinks so." "Okay, it's time." "Okay, his data's in." "Am I sure?" "Yes, I'm sure!" "Ross, you're great, Ha ha!" "No, really, is it safe in Barbados now?" "It's triangulating." "They must've left the restaurant." "It cost us half a billion dollars to squeeze that scum off that island." "Well, not all of them, though." "You have to have some caddies." "I swear to God, if this doesn't work, I'm gonna" "Enjoy your vacation, Eisner." "( blast )" "( screams )" "Robot voice:" "Good morning." "Sir, can you hear me?" "It's 9:15 a.m., and this is your seventh wake-up call." "Fuck off." "You have opted to snooze six times." "Go away." "The snooze limit is 10." "Come on, give it a break, George." "Do you wish to snooze?" "The weather forecast in New York City is sunny and fair" " with a predicted high" " Shut up." "Quit." "and a low this evening of 58." "Go away." " Ah." "Off!" " Do you wi" "Good morning, George." "You still there?" "Yes, Mr. Toffler." "All right." "You were upgraded last night, George." " It's test time." "Ahem!" " Okay, Mr. Toffler." " I would like my coffee strong." " Strong." "Bathroom light on setting," " dim." " Dim." "Shower pressure pulsating, temperature normal." "Specify normal." "Just do it, George." "Just do it." "It's the usual" "Would you say please, pal, please?" "Specify it." "Oh, boy." "So late." "You know, George..." "I do not know what is worse;" "you or the people who try to fix you." "Shall I return to my defaults?" "No." "No, no, no." "No defaults." "I love you, George." "I'll always love you." "Never change." "Again, at least 20 people dead and dozens more remain buried." "And appearing today for a third day before the US Senate Oversight Committee on Mind Transfer, consumer advocate, Madeline Renard." "Renard:" "Apart from repeated violations of the law," "Xchange is now in the risky position of policing itself." "Monopolies are inherently unsafe and we know that." " Hi, Madeline." " Mind transfer is a tremendous technology, far too important to be controlled by a single company." " I cannot stress..." " Give it a rest, Madeline." "Off!" "Later, George." "You're late." "Mm-hmm." "Oh, oh." "Tell me." "No, it's George." "I, uh, had him upgraded yesterday." "He is becoming tricky." "He's, uh, trying to run my life." "He's completely out of control." "Then reprogram it and stop complaining." "Oh, gee, Ralpha." "With you around," "I can just deactivate my entire therapy program." "I wouldn't." "Not before you've seen the boss's message, anyway." "Play it." "Stuart, I need you in my office now." "You're not here, are you?" "Ahem!" "Good morning, Josh." "What's up?" "Uh, why don't you tell him, Mr. Lister?" "No, that's Darren." "He's my personal trainer." "He puts my body through its paces once a week." "Josh." "That's you." "In that buff body." "And this is your trainer." "Darren." "You Xchange..." "with your trainer?" "Yeah." "Well, why should I bust my ass for good abs?" "Let him do it." "I get more work done that way." "This is very strange to me, okay?" "But it is your money, so..." "If you wanna flit from body to body, go ahead." "If you ask me, you're nuts." "You heard about Eisner Scott?" "Assassinated." "What?" "You really got to start waking up earlier in the morning." "They got him with a seeker missile." "Oh, no." "That's horrible." "What" "I just talked to him last week." "What happened?" "Do we know who did it?" "Who else?" "The NIA." "Wow." "So... who will be the new CEO at..." "Dinsey-Arthur-Mitland?" "Probably his son, but that's not a done deal." "They're having a press conference in two hours to reassure the investors, so, uh..." "You got to go." "You got to get there." "In two hours." "They're in San Francisco." "We're in New York." "That just can't happen." "You'll have to Xchange." "Xchange." "Travel will set it up with you right now." "But I don't switch bodies." "You know that." "Jesus, Stuart, stop being so 20th century!" "You'll like floating!" "It's a snap!" "You won't believe it when you take a shit in somebody else's body." "Look at these biceps!" "Yeah, I'm sure of it." "No way." "You got no choice." "Come on, Stuart." "You're our guy." " D.A.M. loves you!" " They sure do." "We bill them a couple of million dollars every year." "3.5." "The kid's gonna be the new head honcho." "I think we'd like to stay on his good side." "Please, Stuart." "Okay." "Hey, uh..." "Do you want the company limo?" "No, thank you." "I have plenty of time." "I will walk." "Man:" "Where the fuck have you guys been?" "Fucking Xchange!" "We needed those clones an hour ago!" "You know how much those bodies are costing me?" "Call Xchange." "It's their delay." "We can only afford them for a couple of days." "Like the company can't afford 20 minutes." "These clone bodies are a bargain." "You got a stiff neck?" "How come I always get stuck with the crappy G.E.F?" "I must be on some kind of list." "S-sorry." "You must be Mr. Toffler." "How do you do?" "I'm Propania Morgan," "VP at Xchange for Corporate Affairs," "New York-Washington corridor." "I, uh, understand you have some concerns." "Uh, concerns." "No, no, uh, Propania." "I think having my consciousness zapped 3,000 miles into someone else's body sounds like a lot of fun." "Mr. Toffler, I'm sure you're gonna find it's all..." "very routine." "I'm sure I will." "You'll be just fine." "So we just need two things from you." "If you'd like to have a seat... right here." "First we take a blood sample." "So if you'll just extend your forefinger just like that... great." "Breathe." "Would you care for a tranquilizer?" "It's not habit-forming." "Oh, no, no." "Water would be great." "Maybe we could just do this?" "We're done." "All your data's been transferred to our San Francisco host center and they'll be installed in your temporary Xchange ID." "Now, your personal ID will go under lock and key here... waiting for your return." "I just need you to sign our standard contract, negotiated by member nations of the ICC." "In a nutshell, you agree not to do anything illegal with Mr. Pernfors' body-- that's your host." "So no illegal drugs, no skydiving, et cetera, et cetera." "Your insurance is liable for any injury to the host body." "Good." "All set then." "Good." "Follow me." "Oh." "Uh, you do have to spend the night in San Francisco." "You mean..." "I have to sleep in someone else's body, and they're gonna sleep in mine all night?" "Actually, you may find that you enjoy it." "Most people do." "It's... exciting." "New sensations, new taste buds." "New... bowel movements." "Would you like to have a seat up here?" "Would you care for some water now?" "Yes." "Um, I thought the whole point was to go and come back quickly." "Right." "Well, we do guarantee same-day travel within a five-hour margin, provided we have three days notice." "Two days and under and the ICC permits us a 36-hour window, but in your case, with just a few hours' notice, we found a host for you, but it will require a night's stay." "Everything's set." "Are you ready?" "Not really." "Travel well, Mr. Toffler." "Woman:" "Mr. Toffler?" "Man:" "Mr. Toffler?" "Mr. Toffler." "Walt Simons, Western Regional Manager." "It's a pleasure to meet you." "Welcome to San Francisco." "You'll find that mind travel is the safest form of travel in the world." "Now, if you'll just remain seated," "I'll take you through our acclimation program." "First thing I want you to do is take three deep breaths through your nose, into your diaphragm." "Exhale slowly." "Good." "Now, if it feels a little strange, that's because your breathing pattern may differ from your host's." "Takes a minute or two to relax into the pattern." "Now," "I want you to raise up your right hand." "Ahem!" "Make a fist." "Very good." "Raise your other hand." "Make a fist again." "You have total control over your host body." "Easy, isn't it?" "All right, Mr. Toffler." "One last thing." "I want you to repeat after me." "Round the rugged rock, the ragged rascal ran." ""Round--" Ahem!" "Water." "That's all right, Mr. Toffler." "Take your time." "All right, Mr. Toffler." "Uh, back over here." "Once again." "Round the rugged rock, the ragged rascal ran." ""Round the rugged rock," " the ragged rascal ran."" " Very good." "Although the timber of your voice is different, it still sounds like you." "That's because it still is you." "Ready for the moment of truth?" "Come." "Take a whole new look at yourself." "Some of our clients find this positively... exhilarating." " Mr. Toffler!" " Yes?" "Your transport to the Wiltham is outside." "Please eat no strawberries." "That is your only allergy." "You will be checked for illegal drug usage upon your return." "This is your temporary ID." " Uh-huh." " Mr. Toffler." "As you know, you must wear it at all times." "Right." "Thank you for traveling with Xchange." "Have a prosperous trip." "Yeah." "Good luck." "Thanks." "That all looks great." "He'll never get the votes, the little shit." "So sorry about the loss." "Blow to the company." "What are you doing here?" "Uh..." "Oh, I'm Stuart Toffler" "I'm Kinsey-Gebhart." "In the rush to get out of New York," "I had to Xchange." "Oh, of course." "Mr. Toffler." "Yes." " Right." " I remember you." "Dad was one of your champions." "Yes." "We, had a very close working relationship." "I'm so sorry." "Well, thank you." "Thank you very much." "I'm sure you and I will get along just fine." "I'll see you at the conference." "Ahem!" "Madeline?" "Madeline?" "Do I know you?" "It's me." "It's Toff." "Stuart Toffler." "Toffler?" "Jesus!" "I never thought I'd see you floating." "Oh." "Me neither." "I didn't really have a choice this time." "Oh." "You corpies." "There's always a choice." "You look great." "Bye." "Yeah." "Uh..." "Wine spritzer." "Man:" "Ladies and gentlemen, as Chairman of the Board," "I want to share with you my sorrow for the loss of a great man and a great visionary leader," "Eisner Scott." "But I also want to share with you my unbounded optimism." "Eisner's strategic vision for the careful growth of the company and the brilliant management team he assembled guarantee a profitable future for us all." "Thank you." "Oh." "Uh..." "Eisner's son, Quayle Scott, would also like to say a few words." "Mr. Finerman." "Man:" "That's his son." "Ahem!" "Ahem!" "Ladies and gentlemen," "I have suffered a shocking... and personal loss." "But I am hopeful that the board will allow me the opportunity to follow in my father's footsteps." "And I am confident that together, we can take this company to even greater heights." "John Adams, Affiliated Press." "Mr. Scott, will we expect to see the same kinds of business strategies under your tenure that we saw under your father?" "Sir, I have far too much respect for my father, as well as the board, to begin changing things now." "Besides, I don't even know if I have the job." "( all chuckle )" "Madeline Renard, IBNS." "Mr. Scott," "Yesterday, at a mine owned by a subsidiary of D.A.M. in South Africa, there was an explosion, and at least 42 workers are dead, and some are still missing." "You have any comment on that?" "We are always saddened at the loss of any life, Miss Renard." "The, um" "Stuart Toffler, Kinsey-Gebhart consulting." "Uh, half a million dollars has been allocated to the families of these, uh, victims, pending approval, of course, of a settlement plan by the ICC." "Let's see... that comes out to about... $ 11,000 per man?" "And is that what a low-hem life is worth these days," "Mr. Toffler?" "Well, uh, every life is unique and irreplaceable." "I'm sure that the Acting Chairman and Mr. Scott join me in feeling deeply saddened that Dinsey-Arthur-Mitland had any role in this tragic accident whatsoever, however so slight and circumstantial." "Well, let's not equivocate." "These were low-hem workers." "You're not going to tell me that if D.A.M. killed a bunch of people in the Northern Hemisphere, it would expect to get away so cheaply." "Well, we have no projections in that area, as we're not in the business of killing people." "Ms. Renard, rest assured, we are doing everything that we can." "And in light of Mr. Scott's recent loss," "I think it inappropriate to cross-examine him at this time." "If there are no further questions, gentlemen." "( rapping lightly )" "Hey." "Still fighting the good fight, huh?" "It's great to see you again, Madeline." "The shocking part is I think you really mean that." "I do." "That was a-- that was a very impassioned speech you gave in there." "Yeah, it was great for you." "So then you could demonstrate how clever you are." "It's just part of the job, okay?" "Accidents happen, redress is made." "It's just fair market value for a very unfortunate accident." "How do you sleep at night?" "God, to think I used to fuck you." "Thank you." "( music plays softly )" "Need a date?" "Uh, no, thanks." "But, uh..." "love a cigarette." "Why not?" "Thanks." "Man:" "It's a forgery." "It's a good forgery, but still a forgery." "No, I don't usually smoke, but tonight I'm feeling kinda..." "Why not?" "Yeah." "It's a good club?" "If you're floating." "Why not?" "ID, sir?" "Thank you." "( dance music plays )" "Can I get you a drink?" "Yeah." "Beer, please." "That's not all you can get here, huh?" "First float?" "Yeah." "Pretty obvious, huh?" "Working in a place like this, you learn to pick out who's what." "Yeah?" "Over there." "Look at those vanilla voyeurs soaking up the atmosphere." "Ooh, that model over there." "How do we know what she looks like in real life?" "She could be ugly and 80 years old." "Oh." "These..." "are the hardcore ones." "They've even forgot what they really look like." "It could be pretty addictive." "Barmaid:" "Here come the clones again." "They come in once a week... but they never find anything." "They're just harassing us." "Look at that clone." "I bet those clone bodies are so very, very hot." "Floating?" "Cigarette?" "No..." "Oh, go ahead." "Indulge yourself." "Yeah." "God knows I am." "I... feel a little bad." "I don't know whether this guy smokes, you know." "Well, obviously he does." "Anyway... what do you think he's doing with your body right now?" "( coughing )" "( brief siren )" "You know it's after curfew." "Yeah." "How you doing, officer?" "Let me see your tag." "Tag?" "It's after curfew." "Let me see your tag." "Oh, yeah, yeah, yes." "Oh, ha!" "Um, maybe I'd better introduce myself." "No, no, no, don't." "Remain a, uh... man of mystery." "Like, uh... everybody else in here, huh?" "That's why it's so arousing." ""Arousing"?" "This woman I'm in feels so very, very... vibrant." "Her nipples are positively singing." "Here, go ahead." "I'll take your word for it." "Oh, my, sugar pie..." "This is your first float, isn't it?" "Ahem!" "Yeah." "I'm Gloria." "Gloria Glowacki." "Where's the cop?" "Shut up." "He's dead." "What took you so long?" "Well, Fisk, I had to fly the old-fashioned way." "( music, panting )" "( moaning )" "Well, sugar pie..." "This woman has the stamina of a thoroughbred." "We, uh... we might not be able to sleep with those singing nipples." "Oh!" "Ha ha ha!" "You're pretty funny." "Where're you from?" "New York." " Really?" " Ahem!" "Me, too." "Wish I didn't have to leave tomorrow morning." "Dial me your machine." "I'm gonna leave you my numbers so you can call me when you get home." "Here." "Hello there, sugar pie." "It was so very, very cool to play with you in San Francisco." "Now, you give me a call when you get back to New York and we'll play some more." "993678." "Shall we go again?" "I'm a dead man." "( giggling )" "Mr. Toffler." "Welcome back." "So, it wasn't so bad, was it?" "I'm just ready to go home." "Ah, yes." "Well, we have a small delay." " Delay?" " Yes." "Your guest body's not yet returned from our New York office, but we expect him shortly in no time whatsoever, so, uh, why not wait in our lounge, hmm?" "And we do apologize." "I'd like to make a phone call." "Phone call?" "Uhh... certainly." "Ralpha:" "Oh, come on, Stuart, he's an hour late." "Haven't you ever been an hour late without something terrible being wrong?" "No." "Ha ha!" "How perfect of you." "Just relax." "I can't!" "Goodbye." "I have a very bad feeling about this." "Mr. Toffler," "Alison De Waay, CEO, Xchange Enterprises." "When they told me what happened," "I had the corporate jet bring me here right away." "You get to fly." "I float all the time, Mr. Toffler." "I wanted to apologize personally." "Please have a seat." "I don't need apologies, you know." "I just want to go home." "Can I get you something?" "No." "I'm afraid there's a problem." "What?" "Has my body been injured?" "No, no, not that we know of." "And in that event, we would assume all medical costs, including, but not limited to, replacement limbs or organs." "It appears your guest has absconded with your body." " What do you mean "absconded"?" " He hasn't returned." "No, I-I know what the word means." "H-how is this possible?" "Well, it's not, theoretically." "I mean, we have double redundant psychological screening." "We're doing everything that we can to find him." "The authorities should pick him up by satellite from his data card." "Okay, well, uh, let's suppose that he's not wearing his data card." "Then what?" "Well... then he'd be breaking the law." "You see, that's my point." "I don't think he's gonna really care much about the law because he's already absconded with my body, right?" "So..." "I'm afraid it's even more complicated." "You were told a Mr. Pernfors is in your body." "Yes." "That turns out not to be accurate." "Not accurate." "Okay." "Unbeknownst to us, he was already hosting a Mr. James Fisk." "I'm sure you can understand" "Mr. Pernfors is eager to reclaim his own... body." "W-w-wait, wait, wait a minute." "This body?" " He wants this body back?" " That's right." "Okay, great." "So, then, where does that leave me?" "Uh, in the first body or in Fisk's body" "Uh, no." "Interpol has impounded that body as evidence." " Interpol?" " Yes." "Evidence of what?" "Body theft is a serious offense." "In that case, Interpol is obligated to impound the stray body in question." " Impound." " Mm-hmm." "Impound." "Because someone steals your body doesn't justify you taking somebody else's." "Of course not." "Mr. Toffler, I want to assure you this has never happened before." "Ha!" "Great!" "Boy, that really makes me feel a whole lot better." "Thank you." "Look, rest assured, we will find you your body." "And in the meantime... we will give you a loaner," "A corporate model that comes with all the perks of your C-4 classification." "These are clones!" "We call them G.E.F.'s." "Genetically engineered facsimiles." "I know what you call them." "They're not human." "Actually, a lot of our VIP clients like yourself ask for them for the high-risk recreational activities such as skydiving, motocross" "Yeah, I know." "Th-these things don't last more than a couple of days!" "Seven, actually." "Unfortunately, we can't get them to maintain life force any longer than that, but don't worry." "We're gonna find your body well before then." "Look, there's no way I'm getting into a clone, okay?" "End of story!" "Well, not quite the end, I'm afraid." "ICC law requires me to tell you that Xchange cannot be used more than three times in a six-day period due to corporeal separation syndrome." "Are you telling me that if you don't find my body before that clone expires, I'm dead?" "Let's try to be positive, shall we?" " Positive?" " We have lovely apartments here in the building," " and your every need will be met." " What?" "I-I have to stay here?" "I'm afraid you have no choice." "The law requires us to keep you at your current Xchange location." "It's for your own safety, so that we can find your body." "We'll transfer you back as quickly as we can." "Oh, God, I mean, I'm fucked!" "You know, I'm totally fucked!" "I'm a prisoner here!" "Mr. Toffler..." "I am deeply sorry." "Please know that we are doing all we can despite the cost to resolve this sad and random calamity." "Wait a minute." "I got to make a phone call here." "No problem." "We'll just get you settled in your suite first." "Walt will take care of your needs." "Walt?" "Absolutely." "Mr. Toffler?" "Please." "Here are the guest suites, Mr. Toffler." "They're guarded 24 hours a day." "For my protection, right?" "Absolutely." "Mr. Toffler, I assure you, this is all completely routine." "Please." "I don't think so." "Hey!" "Hey!" "Stop!" "You!" "Hey!" "P.A.:" "Security alert." "This building is sealed." "No civilian entry or exit." "Security alert." "No exit, huh?" "No civilian entry or exit." "Unless you're a clone." " Check the stairs!" " Okay." "All right, level 31." "Go." "Go!" "You will find this guy." "I'll kill you." "Move!" "Find him now!" "All right." "Man:" "Finally, huh?" "L.E. Bytel?" "What?" "Dressed like that?" "Are you from L.E. Bytel?" "Are you replacing the guy who lost his arm in the shredder?" "Ahem!" "They didn't tell me what happened." "Figures." "Two on, two off?" "What?" "Your shift." "Your shift." "Two days on, two days off?" "Uhh..." "Yeah." "Yeah." "Okay." "Let's get going." "Here's your ID." "D-6 G.E.F." "Ahem!" "Come on, come on!" "Ahem!" "You okay?" "You all right?" "Yeah, sure." "Thanks." "Ow!" "Ow!" "You sure you're ready to operate the D-6 G.E.F.'s?" "Sure." "Hey, uh, check your telltale." "Your telltale." "You understand?" "53 hours, 42 minutes." "After that, you're goo." "What?" "I thought I was good for seven days." "What do you care?" "Your shift is two days on, two days off." "You'll be back way before that." "See, this frame has already worked a shift." "Here." "Here's your temp ID." "Now, listen to me." "Once you're finished out there," "I want you to come right back." "I mean, right away." "Every once in a while, one of these boys runs out of gas a hair early." "Especially these souped-up models." "Really?" "They don't tell the corpie bosses that." "If you get caught in a decomposer, it's not pretty." "Okay?" "Wait a minute, you know, nobody ever told me anything about this." "Listen, pal, there's a lot of things they don't tell people around here." "You know where the shuttle is?" "I-I'll find it." "Thanks." "No, that's all right." "Sorry." "It's okay." "Where do they find these guys?" "Hey!" "Hey!" "See a civvie running around here?" "Black hair, tall, skinny guy?" "No, sir." "Hold it." "There's a problem." "I got to check your ID." "Sure." "I delegate some authority and 10 minutes later, everything turns to shit?" "I'm really, really sorry." "Well, track his ID, Walt!" "We're getting nothing on the West Coast satellites." "Hm." "Well, did it ever occur to you that he could've gotten on a fucking plane?" "He could be back in New York right now, for all we know!" "All right." "I'll, uh, expand the search parameters." "Good, and while you're at it, void his ID." "Right." "He won't have any credits." "He'll be a vagrant." "That'll flush him out." "Oh, and get the cops to warrant him for body theft." "Yeah, but if I do that, I've got to notify the FBI." "Simons, use your head." "The last thing I need are the feds poking around in here." "I do not want the media exposure." "Well, won't it look like we're trying to" "Look, just do your job!" "No problem." "Oh, and, Walt... screw this up and I have just one thing to say to you:" "Indianapolis." "Indianapolis is radioactive." "( jet engines whine )" "P.A.:" "Welcome to New York Airport, and thank you for flying." "And remember, you are safer in the air than at home." "Josh, it's me, Stuart." "Hey, hey, hey." "Where are you?" "Wh-what the hell you doing out there?" "I'm back in New York." "I mean, uh, I've floated hundreds of times without ever having any kind of problem." "Shut up, Josh, okay?" "I need your help." "Yeah, all right, all right." "Okay, look, um..." "come on into the office, and we'll work this all out, okay?" "Okay." "Let me talk to Ralpha." "All right, all right." "Look, um..." "Don't worry." "Don't worry, okay?" "And, uh... we'll see you soon, buddy." "Okay?" "Ahem!" "Mr. Toffler." "Thank God!" "Ralpha, you are not gonna believe what's been happening to me." "Listen to me." "I don't think it's a very good idea that you come in here right now." "What do you mean?" "What's going on?" "Just go home." "I'll call you later, all right?" "I" "Mr. Toffler?" "Computer:" "Credit card account terminated." "Hello?" " Credit canceled." " Fuck!" "Sorry, my man, but I'm gonna have to take you to the cops." "Vagrancy laws, you know." "No." "Take me to the FBI building now." "Hey... personally I'd love to, but they'd examine my cab's trip record, and I'd get the big heave-ho." "You understand." "Like I said," "FBI it is." "We had a blip just for a moment, and then we lost him." "Where was he?" "New York City." "I told you." "You're right." "God help me." "Computer:" "Warning." "This is a federal building." "Transporting objects made of metal is forbidden without security clearance." "If the Yamashta screen detects forbidden items, you will be destroyed." "To gain access, please insert your card now." "Cordell Dickerson on duty, night shift." "How're you doing?" "Just sign in." "What are you doing in a G.E.F?" "My body's been stolen." "Really?" "That's strange." "Xchange hasn't reported it yet." "No shit." "How can someone steal your body?" "They'd never get through the ID check." "Ask Xchange." "Ask them how some guy named Fisk got into their damn system." "James Fisk?" "You know him?" "He's a corporate terrorist." "Are you saying my body's been stolen by a terrorist?" "Who do you think steals bodies, Mr. Toffler?" "If James Fisk has your body, you could be in real trouble." "I have 47 hours to live." "How's that for trouble?" "I have a feeling my people will be very interested in your case." "We've been trying to get a solid lead on James Fisk for two years." "Now wait here." "I'll be back shortly." "Great." "I die, he gets a promotion." "( whirring )" "Don't touch that." "So where'd you learn how to do all this stuff anyway?" "Junior college." "May I help you?" "I need some personal protection." "Right now we have an excellent sale on pepper spray." "Do you have the CEO attache?" "I'm terribly sorry." "The ICC regulations prohibit the sale" "To all persons without a ranking of C-4 or above." "I know." "I qualify." "I'm Stuart Toffler." "If you'll check my account with Kinsey-Gebhart." "The number is 976769." "I'm undercover." "Hm." "Uh, come with me." "Absolutely the latest." "Debugger." "Neural mace." "Teflon resin undershirt." "I'm wearing one right now." "Security screen pouch to shield against tracking." "And expanding baffle earplugs to guard against sonic stun, and these are not the cheesy white ones the cops have." "I know what's in it." "Really?" "Well, this is new." "A Sharper Way exclusive." "Protonic monofilament." "This is a single strand of iron molecules held in stasis by an Oberlin electromagnetic field." "Ahem!" "Exactly." "It's extremely dangerous." "An instruction booklet's included." "You have to sign a waiver of liability." "Right now it's legal for you to own it." "We're not so sure about using it." "Walt:" "Hey, I've got something." "Where is he?" "Midtown Manhattan." "He's gone." "Must've got into a cab." "Well, where would he go?" "Think about it." "Use your head." "Where would you go?" "I hate to disturb you mad scientists, but I have something for you to do." "Change." "Change." "Hello, George." "Password:" "I'm back." "Lights on, please." "George:" "Welcome home, Mr. Toffler." "Do a search on Madeline Renard." "( passing siren )" "Search complete on Renard, Madeline." "Play, read, view, print, or store the result?" "Read and store everything and give me what you got on Xchange." "International Commission on Mind Xchange." "Play it." "Renard:" "And I cannot stress strongly enough that this technology is too important to be used simply as a corpie travel perk and a sneaky way to relax work safety rules." "What" "Stop." "George, skip to the end, then back up 30 seconds and play it." "What about pure research?" "There could be medical applications." "We have to think about it." "It's our responsibility." "George:" "Two individuals at the door." "Stop." "Male, identities unknown." "Yes?" "Mr. Toffler, this is police officer Walsh." "May we talk to you?" "We believe we've found your body." "Really?" "Show your IDs, please." "George:" "Badges authenticated, but voice analysis does not match." "George, clear." "Sorry to disturb you like this, sir." "I think it'd be better if you came downtown with us." "No problem." "Just have to turn off the stove." " George." " Waiting." "Officer:" "Won't your computer take care of that?" "It's an upgrade." "Can't get it to do a damn thing." "Playtime!" "( shrill siren )" "George:" "Crimescan is activated." "Sonic stun complete." "Audio and infrared video is being made." "Where'd he go, Freddy?" "I don't know!" "There he is!" "( rapid gunfire )" "I repeat, Crimescan has been activated." "Got you, Toffler!" "( shots resume )" "Freddy?" "Freddy?" "Toffler:" "Lights on!" "Aah!" "Police!" "Drop it!" " Drop it!" " Wait." "Fucking cop killer!" "He's toast." "What?" "God, I hate these things." "Playtime!" "( shrill siren )" "Security normal." "George:" "Sir, shall I return to search on Madeline Renard?" "Pistol:" "Warning." "Unauthorized user." "Fucking safety features." "Gimme a hand." "( gunshot )" "( gunshot )" "( rattling )" "So, what's floating, boss man?" "I'll tell you what's floating." "Because you fucked up, Freddy's dead, and now we have to use our last seeker missile on Toffler." "And how do you propose we find him?" "I've got his own ID Xchange data." "If he wears his real ID, then the cops'll get him." "If he wears his Xchange, then this missile will." "What if he isn't wearing either?" "That's a good point." "That's a really good point." "If he's not wearing either, then you owe me S250,000 for this missile, mace face." "Dickerson:" "Look, I'm gonna ask you one more time," "Miss De Waay." "Did Toffler steal that body?" "Technically, yes." "He's not legally allowed off the compound." "There's a world of difference between "technically"" "and sic'ing the hounds on him!" "Now, I want all the data from your psych screens, and I want them now." "Agent Dickerson." "Seems to me you're up a little early for someone who's working the graveyard shift." "Maybe if you got some sleep instead of threatening law-abiding citizens, you'd get farther in this world." "Piece of advice:" "Be nice to me." "Who knows, maybe I'll put in a good word for you next time I play golf with the Attorney General." "If you any more questions, my assistant Walt Simons will be happy to help you." "Goodbye." "( siren approaching )" "Man:" "Hey!" "Get up here!" "Where's your ID?" "Go punch in and get a hardhat." "Hey, Fisk!" "Fisk!" "What's up?" "Check it out." "That's it." "He's got the ID on." "Showtime." "( more sirens )" "Toffler to himself:" "Shit." "They must be tracking my ID." "Toffler:" "Oh, my God!" "No, it's okay." "They're solar batteries." "They last a couple of days." "They could still get them." "You know something, Rix?" "I hate optimists." "Well, can't you just" "Just get back to me, all right." "Well?" "Gone." "The police had him, they lost him." "What!" "Disappeared." "Well, great." "I guess I'm going to New York." "If you need me, that's where I'll be." "Oh, and Walt, go down and get measured for your radiation suit." "I'm looking for Madeline Renard." "I'm afraid you have the wrong address." "Goodbye." "Please," "I don't have much time." "Wait!" "Who are you?" "I'm in a G.E.F." "My real body was stolen." "They're trying to kill me." "Please enter the building." "( signal tone )" "My machine has found weapons on you." "Place your bag on the floor and step back 10 feet." "You may enter now." "It's a voice simulizer." "I have a lot of enemies." "I'm listening." "Dickerson:" "Okay, okay, this is the part where the security camera gets shot out." "So it's anyone's guess how it ended, but its my guess he was defending himself." "Hmm, fine." "Now prove it." "Meanwhile, I've got two dead cops shot by a fugitive wanted for body theft." "Oh, come on, that charge was bullshit!" "I talked to Xchange." "They lost his body and he panicked." "Dickerson, do you mind telling me one thing?" "Who's authorizing this investigation?" "I am." "Well... you are screwed." "What can I do?" "I can get you on the News Network." "How will that help?" "Well, every time something's gone wrong," "Xchange has paid the people off." "Now we've got them red handed." "And you are the smoking gun." "Yeah, but how will that help me?" "Don't you want to stop it from happening to someone else?" "Right no, I want to stop this from happening to me." "And how about the police?" "I can't." "I'm wanted." "Why?" "It's a little difficult to explain." "Oh, and they're probably on their way here right now." "No, I can't be tracked." "Let me see." "We gotta do it quick or they'll be able to find me." "The purple one is mine and the orange one came with this body." "Purple, huh?" "So you're some high level corpie?" "What difference does that make?" "Toffler?" "Is that you in there?" "Mr. Corp himself." "Oh, I'm sure Xchange would be" ""deeply saddened to have any role in this tragic accident."" "What was it again?" ""No matter how slight or circumstantial"?" "Maddie, please, I know this seems ironic." "No, it's not ironic." "It's just." "It's the first time I've ever heard of it happening to the right person." "I need your help." "You corpies, you think your own little success proves the corporate system works." "Who do you think you are?" "You waltz in here and you expect me to save your ass?" "You're right, okay?" "Is that what you want to hear?" "That I'm overprivileged?" "That I'm sorry?" "Okay, I'm sorry." "Now I have 30 hours to live." "Will you help me?" "I really need to think about this." "Think about what, Madeline?" "It's me, Stuart." "Doesn't that mean anything?" "Don't!" "There was never anything and you made that perfectly obvious!" "Bullshit!" "I need your help or I'm dead." "I'll do anything you ask." "You'll give access to internal documents with the ranking above C-7?" "Will you?" "Yes." "And you'll appear in court and on TV to authenticate them?" "Whatever you want." "Good." "Now we just have to find Fisk, and I can finally nail Xchange." "( buzzing )" "So you really think Xchange would try to kill me?" "Of course they would." "Word gets out they lost your body, they're out of business." "What about Fisk?" "Why would he want to kill you?" "Wait a minute." "Maybe he's already killed somebody." "What do you mean?" "At the San Francisco press conference" "Quayle Scott knew who I was." "Don't you work for him?" "I was in another body." "Quayle Scott didn't know he was talking to Stuart Toffler." "He thought he was talking to Fisk." "So he knows Fisk." "Wait, wait, wait." "Quayle Scott hired Fisk to kill his own father!" "Finerman:" "You won't get away with this." "Not today, not ever." "I'll wait here." "Mr. Scott, there's a Joshua Lister from Kinsey-Gebhart to see you." "All right." "Send him in." "Mr. Lister" "Where's Lister?" "I'm Stuart Toffler." "I'm afraid I don't understand." "I think you do." "Somebody stole my body, and you know who it is." "Do you know how ludicrous this sounds?" "You have exactly 30 seconds to get out of my office before I call security." "That would be fine." "Because then I'll tell the cops how you hired James Fisk to murder your own father." "I really have no idea what you're talking about." "At the press conference in San Francisco, you knew who I was before we were even introduced." "You were shocked, because you thought I was Fisk." "Shocked?" "Was I?" "You see it's hard to prove what I was thinking." "You want to risk it?" "The Feds are already looking your way." "Okay, I'm listening." "I don't care about you or your father." "I don't care about any of this." "I just want my body back." "So just tell me where Fisk is and you'll never hear from me again." "You want your body?" "Turn around." "It's weird, huh, Stuie?" "I was right." "Bully for you." "Whoa, whoa, whoa." "No!" "Don't shoot him here." "This is my office." "Come on, what am I supposed to tell the cops?" "You don't get it, do you?" "The cops are looking for Toffler." "For me." "A crazy body thief breaks into your office." "Him." "We can just blast away and get away Quayle Scott free." "I like it." "Go ahead." "Put it down." "Tell him to put it down." "Put-put the gun down." "Okay," "I'll put it down." "You're never going to get away with this." "You're breaking your arm, Toffler." "I don't feel a thing." "Security's on its way." "Shut up." "( thumping )" "Oh my God." "You're coming with me." "I don't think so." "What are you going to do, shot you?" "Hi." "Yes?" "I think you shouldn't go there." "I can't breathe." "I can't breathe." "Mr. Scott." "Security!" "Stuart, wake up." "Come on." "Security!" "Come on." "And that's for dumping me." "Here." "Don't take it personally." "It's my ass here, too." "I don't see him." "Nice ass." "Huh?" "No, he's not here." "Help!" "What are you doing?" " Please help me!" " Maddie!" "Now." "I like that." "Let's go." "You were right about Quayle and Fisk." "Yeah, but why does Quayle still have Fisk hanging around?" "Well, obviously killing Dad was part one." "Why does Quayle Scott want to kill me?" "I only have 26 hours to live." "Don't flatter yourself." "It has to be something corporate." "What's that supposed to mean?" "Something corporate." "It's a power struggle." "You saw Finerman back there." "They hate each other." "Where can we find this guy?" "You want to see a polo match, you go to the polo grounds." "Let's go." "( beeping )" "Hey, buddy, give me a hand with my luggage?" "Thanks a lot, I appreciate that." "Hello, we have to have a word with our associate." "Excuse me" "He's expecting us." "Hi, Ross." "Who are you?" "I'm Stuart Toffler and you know Madeline Renard." "Mr. Finerman, please don't do that." "Why?" "You may be the only person who can help us solve Eisner Scott's murder." "What about Eisner?" "We think we know who killed him." "Quayle Scott." "He hired a terrorist named James Fisk to do it." "Look, he may be a devious little shit, but I can't believe he'd kill his own father." "Anyway, what does it matter to you?" "Listen," "Fisk just tried to kill me in Quayle's office." "Fisk has my body." "And if I don't get it back by tomorrow, I'm dead." "Do you know of any reason why he would want his father out of the way?" "No really, unless it's the Xchange deal." "You said you were going to make Toffler disappear." "If he shows up with that Renard bitch, there is no merger!" "Quayle wants to buy Xchange." "He thinks he can force Congress to deregulate it." "Open Xchange to the common man." "Make a fortune." "Just relax." "I never said it was going to be easy." "But if it's worth doing, it is worth the struggle." "So?" "Well, Eisner thought the technology was a time bomb." "God, that's the last thing we wanted." "It took him years to unload those damn theme parks." "You didn't seem to mind the killing your old man part." "Huh?" "Oh, I forgot, that was more than just business, that was oedipal." "Now look, even if you're right, the board is with me." "Not Quayle." "And they won't approve it no matter what he does." "When is the next board meeting?" "Tomorrow at three." "The Malliot-Wilton." "Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick..." "Beautiful, huh?" "Yeah." "It definitely belongs in a museum, Rix." "All right, you flip up the red cover and it's armed" "Yeah, I know, okay, I know." "And then I flip the switch... and no more board room." "Excuse me, sir, you can't just come in" "I thought I told you Walt Simons was handling this." "If you'd been cooperative with me," "I wouldn't have to do this." "This is bullshit." "Say hi to the Attorney General for me, Miss De Waay." "Simons, we've just been subpoenaed." "Tell me something good, fast." "Okay, I figured out a way to track Toffler." "I'm listening." "logged on an uplink to the satellite." "We should be able to start tracking him in three hours." "Well, make it two and you're off my shit list." "No wonder Fisk was able to steal my body." "Quayle's in bed with Xchange, so they can do whatever they want." "Obviously." "Would you like some wine?" "Please." "You sure picked a bad time to start floating." "Think they chose you or a reason?" "Wrong place, wrong time." "If you're a terrorist, what better place to hide than somebody else's body?" "Especially yours." "Thanks." "You're welcome." "You know, I've never asked you this, how does it feel to be in a G.E.F.'s body?" "Here." "Thank you." "Cheers." "Strange." "Self-conscious." "It's like... you're wearing a new hat." "It looks good, it feels good, but it's not you." "And then you start thinking, well, maybe it's not the hat," "maybe there was never any of you to begin with." "So you think Quayle's gonna try to kill Finerman?" "Well, if he's willing to kill his father, why would he stop there?" "If we don't stop Fisk, more innocent people could die." "Wow." "You amaze me, Toffler." "You know, I thought I had you all figured out, and there you go and turn into a human being on me." "Thanks, I think." "Hey, don't give up." "A corpie never gives up." "You know, we really don't like that expression." "And who's we?" "We corpies." "No, I can't, I'm sorry." "I can't." "It's that body, it's just, it's not you." "It's not really you." "I'm sorry." "Come here." "( ringing )" "Voice:" "Hello." "That's a nice voice simulizer, Miss Renard." "Dickerson, FBI." " How did you" " Oh, come on, we're the Feds." "Caller encryption doesn't work on us." "Listen, I'm kind of busy right now." "You better be:" "A blind tip just came in with your address posted on the Police website." "My guess is Xchange put it there." "So my suggestion is to you, to get the hell out of there." "Thank you." "There's something you should know." "There's a D.A.M. board meeting tomorrow and we think Fisk is gonna try something." "Like what?" "Killing Ross Finerman." "Maybe killing them all." "Listen to me, Miss Renard, why don't you just come in?" "I mean, there's nothing I can do for" "How did they find you?" "Your IDs are shielded." "No no." "You can't shield this." "Okay, we better go." "It doesn't matter where we go, they'll be able to track me." "We have to get this thing off." "How?" "How does it feel?" "Cold." "Does it feel numb?" "Let's just do this." "Wait, be careful." "Don't damage it, or I won't know how long I've got." " Okay." " Ready, set... go." "I'm sorry." "It's okay." "Oh, my God." "Oh, my God." "Shit." "( groaning in pain )" "Wait a second." "Shit." "Okay, hurry, hurry, hurry." "Oh, my God!" "Are you all right?" "Yes, yes, yes." "Where do we go from here?" "Hotels aren't gonna work, not with the whole city looking for me." "Who do you know that no one else knows?" "Well, I know someone, but I don't think you're gonna like her." "( humming )" "Hello?" "Hi, Gloria, Stuart Toffler." "Sugar pie!" "You know, I had a feeling you'd call." "Look, can I come over to your place?" "Aren't we eager?" "Oh, it's a little late." "Listen, Gloria, please." "I don't have a lot of time in this body." "I'm in a G.E.F." "A G.E.F!" "Whoa-ho, meet me at my apartment, and don't stop for coffee." "Maybe it's a bad idea." "It's better than getting caught violating the curfew." "Look, we'll spend the night, in the morning we'll go to the hotel and wait." "Here I am." "This is the real me." " Gloria?" " Yeah." "Hi." " Wow." " Thank you so much." "Yeah, I see you brought a friend." "Yeah, this is Madeline, Gloria." "Gloria, Madeline." "Gloria:" "Mmmm..." "So, is that your fulltime body?" "Yes, in fact, but I only drive it on the weekends." "So, listen, it's great to see you..." "It's very good to see you." "...but I am exhausted." "Oh, don't you worry I'll take care of that." "You just come with me." "You can rest on the couch, Marilyn." "Madeline." "( moaning within )" "I've never been with a G.E.F. before." "Gloria." "You know these floater friends of mine..." "They have their own body transfer machine." "And you know, sugar pie..." "Gloria, please" "I know what it's like to be a man." "Listen, I can't do this right now." "Are you still going to have this body tomorrow?" "I really hope not." "Oh, no, you hope so!" "You see, I get the party tomorrow." "That's how they keep from getting caught by the Feds with their bootleg machine." "They just move it from place to place." "So, how about it?" "What do you say?" "Haven't you ever wondered what it feels like to be a woman?" "I guarantee you, once you've tried being a woman, you'll regret being a man." "Gloria, stop it!" "Please, I have a lot on my mind." "You weren't like this in San Francisco." "We'll do it again some other time, okay?" "There's coffee in there, Marilyn." "Madeline." "Yeah, whatever." "Well, I gotta run." "Ciao, sugar pie!" "Sleep well, sugar pie?" "Nothing happened." "We just talked." "It doesn't matter to me." "After today, we're done." "Gimme a break, Madeline." "I don't care, all right?" "Come on." "We're taking her car." "And put this on." "I borrowed this from Gloria's closet." "You don't want to be recognized, do you?" "Fisk had better be there." "Hey, don't worry." "We'll put you back together again." "Sure" "All the king's horses and all the king's men." "Look!" "There's your body." "Let's go." "Stuart!" "Are you all right?" "Yeah." "How long have I been out?" "Oh, I can answer that." "But don't worry, you're not gonna last that long." "Gimme that toy, would you?" "I'm about to win a game." "I'm happy for you." "What are you doing?" "Watch." "Hey!" "( hissing )" "Pretty potent stuff, huh?" "Can I have that detonator?" "See this?" "If I open this up and press this button, the whole world changes." "You found your way around the Yamashta screen, didn't you?" "Yes, I did." "You're so smart." "We assembled the bomb in the conference room." "It's cool." "What does it fee like?" "All your school connections and family ties, all your corpie buddies." "None of them help you now, do they?" "Do you feel that?" "That powerlessness?" "Because other than corpies, that's what we all feel like all the time!" "That's what they will never understand." "You're not agreeing with him, are you?" "Not with his methods, but his argument is sound." "Yeah, see, Rix?" "That is a kindred spirit." "So you do all this to undermine the system, huh?" "No." "I just like to kill corpies." "It empowers me." "It's a great debate." "Can we just kill them now?" "No, we can't." "We have to wait for little big man to show up, so he can watch." "You know, you corpies are all a bunch of sadistic fucks." "See these keys?" "They're the only things that open this door." "And this one's mine." "And this one's yours." "Tick, tick, tick, tick..." "I'll be back." "Would you relax?" "Or have a drink, have a cigarette." "Fisk just called me from the plant." "Everything is under control." "Toffler and Renard will vanish within the hour." "What about Fisk?" "What if the Feds get their hands on Mr. Fisk?" "What would you have me do?" "Want me to go down there and blow his brains out?" "Hey, that's a good idea." "Just you wait until he's finished his job, okay?" "Where would I be without you?" "Oh, baby, that's easy." "In corporate limbo, where I found you." "Your father wouldn't even return your calls, remember?" "Oh, God, I'm such an idiot." "I never should have dragged you into any of this." "I'm sorry." "I'm sorry for everything." "No, stop saying you're sorry." "I'm sorry I didn't love you the first time." "But I do now." "So let's not give up." "Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute." "What?" "The monofilament." "It's in my pocket." " Which pocket?" " I think it's in my pocket." "Come on." " Which pocket?" " Reach in this pocket." "If you say you're just happy to see me, I'll kill you." "Very funny." "I got it!" "Okay, now take it out." "But be careful, don't hurt yourself." "I have it." "Now cut me free." "No, I can't see to cut your rope." "Just feel for it." " I don't know." " Come on, do it!" "Madeline:" "Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait." " Okay." " Okay, I got it." "( yelping )" "What, what did I hurt you?" "It's okay, turn around." "I'm all right." "Okay, 1, 2, 3, okay." " ( screaming )" " It's okay, it's okay." " I'm sorry!" " It's all right." " I didn't want to do that." " We're both free." " I'm sorry." " It's okay." "Here." "Take this now and go try to open up the door." "Go, please go." "There's nothing to cut here." "It's just a keyhole." "Now we're trapped." "Here." "Use that to pick up the key and then open the door quickly." "What are you doing?" "It's not my body." "No, you can't do this." "Please, we gotta get out." "Now, stand back." "No, don't do this!" "( screaming )" "What are you doing?" "Oh, my" "Oh, my God." "Are you all right?" "I'm okay." "I'm okay." " Okay." " We have to go." "Okay." "Okay, I'll get the key." "Okay." "Okay." "Come on." "We've got to find Fisk." "I'll take care of him." "Find a phone and call Dickerson and warn him about the bomb." "Go." "Go." "Go." "This is agent Dickerson." "Please leave a message after the tone." "Dickerson, this is Madeline Renard." "There's a bomb in the hotel at the board meeting this aft" "That was a mistake." "Goodbye, lady." "Look, we all know that Toffler is unstable." "He never should have floated, so let's just forget about him." "John" "What if he's right?" "Hi." "Well, well, well, my two favorite people." "What have we here, huh?" "This is the answer to all of our problems." "And I thought killing dear old dad was fun." "Stuart, are you all right?" "Hi, there." "You just don't get it, do you?" "It's just so easy." "I seemed to have misplaced my ID." "Have you seen it?" "Toffler." "Toffler, are you all right?" "Go get the car." "Hurry." "Go." "FBI!" "Get the hell out of the way!" "FBI!" "Hey, there, sir." "Everyone get out!" "There's a bomb in here!" "FBI!" "Everyone get out!" "This is probably just Toffler." "Finerman:" "Oh, shit!" "Dickerson:" "Well, get out!" "Lister, you're fired!" "Out, out!" "Everybody out!" "We can make it." "Quick." "Quick, let's go to Xchange." "Okay." "Shit!" "( screeching )" "( honking horn )" "Come on!" "Shit." "Back up." "Hurry!" "Watch out." "Come on." "Come on, Maddie." "Go!" "Go!" "Faster!" "Xchange is too far." "We won't make it in time." "Ok, turn here." "Now, turn!" "Where are we going?" " Gloria's!" " What?" "Just keep going!" "Get us out of here." "Come on!" "Go!" "Maddie, watch out!" "( honking horn )" "Jesus, Maddie, watch out!" "Nobody moves." "Where's Gloria?" "Get out of my way." " Gloria!" " Right here." "Move it." "Marilyn, honey" "Where's the machine?" "It's in the other room." " Can you make it work?" " Yes, of course I can." "Okay, do it." "Quick!" " Okay." " Come on!" "Come on, this is an emergency." "Move it." "Hold him!" "I said hold him, goddamnit!" "Hold him!" "Put the head gear on him." "Quick!" "Oh, my God, please hurry." "Come on, do it." "I'm trying." "Okay." "How long does it take?" "It takes as long as it takes." "What's going on?" "It's started." " Is it working?" " Yes, it's working." "Is it you?" "It's me." "( gasping )" "Check your telltale, Fisk." "You're dead." "Okay." "( chuckling )" "Weird, eh, Stuie?" "It's gonna be okay, Madeline." "Look out!" "Ow, Jesus!" "I really fucked you up, huh?" "( crackling )" "Yeah?" "So, sugar pie, this is your real body?" "You know what?" "Bug off." "Oh." "Some other time." " Hey." " Hey." " Hi." " Hi." "Hi, Mr. Toffler." "That's me." "Come on." "Mechanical voice:" "The cellular number you have reached," "Quayle Scott:" "Quayle Scott," "Mechanical voice: has been terminated until further notice."

"(WIRELESS) ♪ LOUIS ARMSTRONG:" "On The Sunny Side" "(TELEPHONE RINGS)" "Hello." "Bournemouth 2353." "Yes, Gerald Durrell is my son." "Gerry?" "(DOOR SLAMS)" "Mrs Durrell..." "You have just caned my son!" "In a just society, you would be tied to a tree and whipped for beating an innocent child!" "He would rather feed the rats behind the cricket pavilion than attend his classes." "Yes, because he's been bullied, ever since arriving at this pitiful school!" "And why do you think that is, dear?" "Because... he's a bit different." "That's why children are bullied, you moron." "It's easy to see where his incivility comes from." "Don't use that language!" "Don't instruct me." "I am not one of your witless flunkies." "No offence, I'm sure you would be lovely... if you were allowed to be." "The purpose of education is to draw the best out of children, not to beat fear into them." "A father would no doubt have ironed out more of their shortcomings." "I look forward to a letter of apology." "Oh, he won't be returning." "I'd rather he were taught by monkeys." "Mum, I'd love that." "Can we do that?" "Don't be daft, Gerry." "Ow!" "What do you mean, I'm a bit different?" "(SLURPS)" "(DOOR SHUTS)" "How could you have stood by and let me become an estate agent?" "I am a writer." "You don't actually write, though, do you, darling?" " Yes, I'm a fashion model." " Fighter pilot." "Oh, by the way, I've left school." "No, you haven't." "If Gerry can do it, so can I." "Anyway, I've taken my uniform into the garden and shot it, so..." "I might as well leave too." "I'm as thick as two short planks." "As soon as I can find a husband, I'll be off." "What is the matter with all of you?" "Roger?" "Here he is, the unteachable leading the untrainable." "We should go to Corfu." "I've been." "Corfu Castle." "I'm not going back till they put a roof on it." "It's CORFE Castle, darling." "Jesus, Margo!" "No, Corfu's a Greek island!" "I told you I was dim." "(PLATE SMASHES)" "Darling, you are NOT dim!" "You're 16." "What's all this about a husband?" "My friend Donald lives in Corfu." "He says it's dirt cheap, so I can write there, full of disgusting animals for Gerry and, Leslie, you can shoot them." " Hey, Margo..." " I'll pack." "We are not going anywhere." "We can't just run away from our problems." "Good afternoon, Mrs Durrell." "Oh!" "Louisa, please." "Indeed." "We widowed folk must stick together." "You should come and have that sherry." "Yes, I should." "Since I've retired, I've played a lot of bowls." "Do you play?" "If only I had the time... and the bowls." "Let me speak plainly?" "You are an attractive lady and I am an attractive man." "The children need a father figure and I'm a big admirer of boarding schools." "Come on!" "(CHUCKLES)" "(SIGHS)" "(DOOR OPENS)" "Oh!" "Hello." "Why are you so miserable?" "Perhaps it's because I thought I was a good mother and yet all I've managed to do is bring up one unteachable son, one psychopath, one vacuous daughter and you." "What's wrong with me?" "And worse than that, none of you seems happy." "There's no laughter in this house any more." "A writer shouldn't be happy." "It's counter-productive." "(SIGHS) You're not a writer, darling." "You sell houses." "It's a flag of convenience." "What about you?" "You drink like a fish, if fish drank gin." "And I know we've got money problems." "There are no secrets in this family." "There are secrets, actually." "Oh, God, you're not dying, are you?" "No, I'm not dying." "The secret is that I can't live like this any more." "When you were all small, it was like we were on a journey, always moving forward." "And now we've stopped moving forward and we are sinking." "So, for once in my life, Larry, I have decided to take your advice." "Which advice?" "(HUBBUB)" "(SPEAKS GREEK)" "You know, a taxi would probably cost the same as a banana in Bournemouth." "We should start as we mean to go on." "Wanting to kill each other?" "Economising." "Look, I can see the village up ahead." "Look." "You are not serious." "Now, look, the house sale barely covered our debts." "We have no money." "I have a miserly widow's pension." " You are a miserly widow." " Be quiet!" "And you all earn precisely nothing." "We are not on holiday." "We are here to live like local people, in joy and togetherness, without the trappings of so-called civilisation, which, as far as I can tell, basically means cruelty and alienation." "It's going to be wonderful." "(HORN HOOTS)" "Don't talk to him." "Everybody here only speaks Greek, anyway." " Hi." "You peoples want a taxi?" " No." " Yes." " Absolutely." " Where are you going?" " We like walking." "Ignore her." "We're going to that guest-house in the far, far distance." " That's a nice motor." " It's American." "Nothing like it on Corfu." " Spiros Halikiopoulos." " Leslie." " Margo." " Larry." "I'm..." "Mrs Durrell." "The mother." "The most important person." "I'll get your luggage." " Where's Gerry?" " Gerry?" " There's a lizard." " It's a tree with a lizard on it." " How could that possibly be interesting?" " Gerry!" "You's very pale." " Yes, we plan to a lot of sunbathing." " No, we don't." " It's the main reason we came here." " No, it isn't." " How long are you staying?" " We don't know." "But, well, we don't have a house to go back to in England." "Honest to God, if I wasn't Greek, I'd like to be English." "Oh." "Thank you." "Oh, this must be it." "No, you don't stay here." "Too expensive." "Lots of empty houses on the island." "I'll find you one." "Yes." "Good." "(SPEAKS GREEK)" "(SHOUTS ANGRILY)" "(BOTH LAUGH)" "Mrs Durrells!" "Come!" "Gerry!" "There's a zoo in the lavatory!" "Wow!" "I'm sleeping in the lavatory!" "I can't believe the Customs let you through with those." "I just think they know self-defence is vital in today's unsure world." " I think you should marry Spiros." " I don't want to marry again." " But he was wearing a wedding ring..." " Oh." "...and he had a photograph of his wife and children on the dashboard." "I thought that was the Greek royal family." "Why would he have a photo of them?" " Where's the...?" " Oh, there's no electricity on Corfu." "(CHUCKLES)" "(SCREAMS)" "(YELLS IN GREEK)" "I get some more discounts, Mrs Durrells." "Ah, we really need to get some beds." "(BARKING)" "Gerry?" "Gerry?" "Wellingtons." " Why?" " The snakes." "Here." "Oh... and this." " What?" " So you can be seen." " Mum, I'm sure it's fine." " There we are." "And er... don't... do anything." "Bye!" "Bye, Mother." "See you later." "Oh." "Margo!" " Show me." " What?" "You know what." "Margo, this is not Bournemouth." "I know." "I presume that's why we're here." "The Greeks can be very conservative." "In my day, young ladies avoided the sun." "Well, in my day, which is now, we don't." "Book?" "Good girl." "And don't just use it as a pillow." "LARRY:" "Right." "Starting now." "(TYPEWRITER CLATTERS) At last." "Oh, Leslie, will you help me, darling, with the..." "I'm afraid not." "I'm too busy." "Erm... kalimera." "Kalimera." "That was excellent." "Do you have any more Greek?" "No, we've only been here one day." "Oh." "Welcome." "Have you seen one of those before?" " No." " The nest of an Egyptian vulture." "Its party piece is breaking eggs it wants to eat by throwing pebbles at them." "It's very rare for birds to use tools." "Oh, sorry, you probably knew that." "No." " (SHOUTING IN GREEK) - (GASPS)" "(SHOUTS IN GREEK)" "(CONTINUES SHOUTING)" "Shoo!" "Shoo!" "Shoo!" "Do you have kumquats in Hampshire?" "I don't think so." "It's mainly apples and cabbage." "Apples are not good in Corfu." "We are pretty sure, in the Bible, Eve was tempted by a kumquat." " That's a tiny joke." " Oh!" "How are your creatures?" "I can't wait to show my family." "Your optimism is impressive." "I find my interest in wildlife is regarded by my friends as a form of madness." "(CHUCKLES)" "(BARKING) Ooh-ooh!" "Dogs jumping like kangaroos!" "Always funny." "(GUNSHOT)" "Good shot, Leslie." "Don't hit your mother." "(STRAINS)" "Larry, come down here and help!" "I can't." "I'm working!" "(TYPEWRITER KEYS CLATTER)" " Mrs Durrells?" " Oh." " I bring you Lugaretzia." " Oh." "Hello." "Why?" "You need help." "Big family, house pretty, but not so perfect!" "Yes, you spotted that." "Thank you, Spiros, but we can't afford help." " Of course you can." "You're English." " The English come in all kinds, and we are the poor type." "She's cheap." "Part-time, almost free." "Oh, God, I look like some kind of a witch." "No, you don't." "Where's Mr Durrells?" "Oh, he's dead... selfishly." "So it's just me now, shouldering the burden." " Like a braying, sexless donkey!" " (SIGHS)" "She doesn't understand English, so you can shout out bad things about her." "I don't want to shout out bad things about her." "How cheap is she?" "Lugaretzia... (THEY CONVERSE IN GREEK)" "(THEY NEGOTIATE IN GREEK)" " Shh!" " (SIGHS) 15 drachmas a day." "Welcome." "Erm... she's a little bit hypochondriac." "Oh." "(GROANS)" " Goodbye, Mrs Durrells." " (GROANS)" "Oh, darling, what's the matter?" "A man shouted at me." "Oh, sweetheart." "Oh..." "It's all right." "It's just going to be more different than I thought." "Yes." "Yes, me too." "(GUNSHOT)" "(GUNSHOT)" "LARRY:" "Don't be so feeble." "Go back and shout at him!" "What, so he has an excuse to throw me into the sea or kill me?" " Oh, have some moral courage." " Stop it, you two." "When have you ever shown any moral courage?" "Whatever that is." "I show moral courage in my writing every day." "What writing?" "!" "Get a proper job!" "You're an intellectual dwarf." " Larry, that is cruel." " At least I'm intellectual." "Your intellect is dwarf-sized!" "For God's sake." "Yes, it's very nice, isn't it?" "It was my mother's, actually." "It looks like a bullet hole." "Leslie must have nearly shot her." "(SHOUTS IN GREEK)" "She's not still going on about that, is she?" "(SHOUTS IN GREEK)" "No!" "Lugaretzia?" "Lugaretzia?" "Come back!" "(DOOR SLAMS)" "Leslie, you could have killed her." "It's an air-gun." "She could get a flesh wound at worst... or lose an eye!" " Or lose an eye?" "!" "Unbelievable!" "I have been working like a slave for you." " Now we've lost my only bit of help." " There's so many species in the wood." " I found..." " Gerry!" " Stop them!" " Get them out!" "Get them out!" "Don't stamp on them!" " Let me shoot one of them!" " Don't shoot them!" "Stop it!" "(ALL YELL AT ONCE)" "Stop it!" "(TEARFULLY) Where did I go wrong?" "(SOBS) How did you all become so vile?" "LARRY:" "You know what her problem is?" "Don't you think we're the problem?" " No." " Don't be absurd." "She needs a man." "Don't you dare talk about Mother like that." "I'll look after her." "Let me lend you a paper by Freud called the Oedipus Complex." "I expect that's really clever, but nobody cares." "The body is built for sex." "Gerry knows." "He watched animals mating." "You are obsessed with sex." "At last, we agree on something." "And since I'm not getting any, at least we can help Mother." "All right, where should we start looking?" "We can't just drag men in off the street." " (KNOCK AT DOOR)" " Good afternoon." " Theo!" " My name is Theo Stephanides." "Hello." "Good afternoon." "Gerry kindly invited me for tea." " For your future discoveries." " Thank you so much." " Tea, yes." " Shall I come back another day?" " BOTH:" "No, no, no." " It's fine." " Tea..." " Theo?" "Are you single?" "Yes." "Yes, I am." "(SQUEAKING)" "Good luck." "We couldn't work out how to heat the water." "Oh, don't worry." "I can have tea any time." "Figs with sardines - that's breaking new ground." "So, can I help unlock any mysteries about Corfu?" "Can you explain why a monk shouted at me like a lunatic as I was sunbathing?" "Maybe you were just lying in his space." "The Greeks used to spend half their lives naked." "So he has no excuse." "That was the Ancient Greeks and MALE nudity." "Female bodies were more often shown partially clothed." "Well, there you go, then." "Become a man or wear a coat over your bikini." "(CHUCKLES)" "There's one rule for men and one for women, isn't there?" "Have you only just noticed?" "I've been busy growing up." "How long has this been going on?" "Even Aristotle, who was no slouch, placed women some way below men... but above slaves." "Hurrah!" "Are there any more biscuits, Margo?" "Get them yourself!" "So, Theo... you are not married yet." "What do you look for in a woman?" "Oh!" "(CHUCKLES)" "Someone I can exchange ideas with, discuss scientific advances and just sit quietly with." "Oh!" " Yeah, no, that won't work." " No." "Theo came for tea." "Well, not tea, but he gave me this, which I filled with dormice." "Oh, Gerry." "We told Leslie he can't shoot near the house any more because Larry can't write and he might kill us." "So he's going off round the island tomorrow." "Come on." "Ooh!" "Getting quite big, aren't you?" "Yes." "Should I get off?" "No." "You can get off now." "I can't feel my legs." "(GROANS)" "(HUBBUB)" "Any recommendations?" "Hm..." "Avoid the food." "Stick to the booze." "(CHUCKLES)" "A fellow foreigner, huh?" "Yes, although I consider myself a citizen of the world." "You look like you've been around." "Hm. (CHUCKLES)" "Sailed the seven seas." "Do you have a favourite?" "Hated all of them!" "Treacherous, cold... wet." "Generally devoid of women." "(LAUGHS RAUCOUSLY)" "(LAUGHS)" "(SHOUTS ANGRILY IN GREEK)" "(CONTINUES SHOUTING)" "I am dressed perfectly respectably, unlike Ancient Greek men, from all accounts." "And I'm entitled to be here." "I think you should take a break from sunbathing..." "I am not going to be put off because your face looks like a tomato." "Oh!" "Exciting news!" "Why are you speaking quietly?" "You never speak quietly." "Because I don't want Mother to hear." "God, why is everyone so dim?" "She's gone to the bank to see if the money's arrived yet." "Fortunately, we won't starve." "I've shot this beauty." "She won't need her own money if this works out." "I've found her a man." " No?" "Who?" " His name's Captain Creech." "Cracking sense of humour." "Stories to tell." "Doesn't beat about the bush and, well, he must have a few quid." "This will go horribly wrong, you know." " How will you get them together?" " I might leave it a few weeks." "Her monthly's coming up and she'll be more volat..." "Stop saying these things!" "You are such a..." "The money's arrived from the sale of our furniture." "It's not much, but it might make us feel a bit more like we belong." "(SPEAKS IN GREEK)" "For Easter." " Parakalo." " Efharisto." "(SPEAKS GREEK)" "How are you feeling, Mother?" "Well... happier." "Still livid that you drove Lugaretzia away." "And... hormonally?" "Don't be ridiculous!" "I'm bringing a pal over for supper tonight." " Your age, as it happens." " Oh." "Well, our first guest." "What shall I cook?" "It will have to be mainly figs." "Right, I'm off for the day." "Did anyone notice anything different about Leslie?" "I try not to look at him." " He is becoming very handsome." " He really isn't." "He left without a gun." "I've never seen him without a gun." "(MONK SHOUTS IN GREEK)" "God bless you." "I didn't take a firearm this morning because I'm over all that now." "Oh." "Oh, I'm so glad, Leslie." "I just like exploring the island, you know, with a dictionary." "Talking to the locals." "What's really going on?" "Have you shot someone dead?" "Don't be silly, Margo." "He's just growing up." "Besides, it's the 1930s, darling." "People don't need guns any more." "Mother, this is Captain Creech." "He's been looking forward to meeting you." "Well... (CHUCKLES) Mrs Durrell." "With a face like that, you should be on the front of a ship." "Oh, thank you." "A present for the house - a bottle of the finest rum from Jamaica." "Have you er... ever been to Jamaica?" "No, no, I haven't." "The first place I ever caught gonorrhoea." "(LAUGHS WILDLY)" "So... there we were, a dozen Uruguayan strumpets below deck and a ripping wind, straight out of the arsehole of the Earth." "(LAUGHS)" "My, this is good tucker." "I like a girl who is er handy in the galley, as well as in bed." "(CHUCKLES)" " Where was I?" " Arsehole of the Earth." " Ah!" " Yes, that's quite enough of that story." "Gerry, sing us a song." "Anything you like." " Where's your head?" " At the moment, it's pounding." "It's nautical for..." "Crapper, dunny, thunder box." " I think he means the lavatory." " Yes." "Yes, I know that... now." "It's round the back." "Excuse me. (CHUCKLES)" "(BREAKS WIND)" "(What the hell did you think you were doing," "(bringing that filthy old lecher into our house?" ")" " He's a breath of fresh air." " Oh!" "This is what happens when women let men rule the roost." "(SNORING)" "Get up!" " Bye." " Oh," " Leslie." "What are you doing today?" "Just walk around, chat with locals." "Ask for work, so I can help out with the money." "Oh..." " He's lying." " I know." "I just thought I'd treat him like an adult." "What were you treating him like when you let him have half a dozen guns?" "I'm a mother, not a policeman." "I thought it might lead to some discipline, make a man of him, with Daddy not being there." "You'll discover, if ever you have children..." "I am listening." "I'm just going into the garden." "Stupid boy, where are you?" "(SPEAKS GREEK)" "Urgh!" "(YELLS) Sodding, bloody..." "Larry, please!" "I'm sure Virginia Woolf doesn't swear like a trooper." "Well, her brother didn't remove the letter X from her typewriter." "Why would Leslie do that?" "So I don't write the word "sex" so much, apparently." "It's all right." "I'll get him back." "Did I mention that your arse should be on the front of a ship?" "Don't start that again." "We had quite enough last night." "It's your fault for letting me drink." "Look below the surface - it's usually the ladies that cause the problems." "Look, I am astonished that nobody has murdered you yet." "Now, please leave!" "After you've made me a spot of lunch." "(TYPEWRITER CLATTERS)" "Shut up!" "Use a bloody pencil!" "(CUTLERY CLATTERS)" "(GASPS) Lugaretzia!" "Welcome back." "It's been hell without you." "Son of a bitz." "I see Spiros has been teaching you." "In England, we say "bastard"." "Barsto?" " Bastard." " Barsto." "(Barsto.)" "I love him, Mum." "Oh, Gerry, take it outside." "Gerry, take him outside, now!" " He'll escape." " Not for a while, he won't." "Gerry?" "There's so much to see." "Eat, then leave." "I'm sorry if I've disappointed you." "I've spent too much time in the company of uncouth men." "Oh." "Well... thank you." "I'm sorry, I... (SCREAMS)" "Get out!" "Fine." "I'll just finish my lunch." "Now, you leave... or I'll shoot you." "No, you won't." "(GUNSHOT)" "You are in great need of a slap!" "Oh, so it's OK for you to shoot and nearly kill someone?" "Yes." "Yes, it is." " Leslie, we told you - no more shooting!" " It wasn't me!" "That is the last time you try to find me a husband." "Is that clear?" "Are you sure?" "I met a fascinating Turk in a bar in town." "And how did you think I would fall for..." "Popeye the bloody Sailor Man?" "!" "And he's not "my age"!" "We think the sex will calm you down." "God!" "Your father was the love of my life, and I don't want or need a pale imitation of him." "Well, I find that rather sad." "You may have given up... but we haven't." "(SQUAWKS)" "Ooh!" "Oh, where have you been?" "I was following Leslie and I got lost." "I tried to ask the way home, but nobody's bothered to learn English." "Anyway, Leslie's lost his interest in guns because he's got a girlfriend." "A what?" "I found him with a local girl, kissing and worse." "Oh!" "Well, maybe it was a good idea to come out here after all." "I mention wanting a boyfriend, and you call me empty-headed and sex-mad." "But Leslie finds someone, and he's a hero?" "Firstly, Margo, I am thrilled that you are thinking for yourself and highlighting double standards." "Thank you." "And secondly... don't you dare be so bloody rude to your mother." "Good, I'll find myself a man, then." " (GASPS)" " Hello, Luga." "Glad you're back." "This short story is genius." "Oh?" "Who wrote it?" "Me." "(HORN HOOTS)" "Look who I find walking home!" "Mum." "Gerry, you have a spider, two dormice, a tortoise and a family." "You do not need a pelican." " Let it go." " I will after I've studied it." "(CHUCKLES)" "It's not funny, Spiros." "No, of course not." "Come on, Gerry, we'll make a zoo cage!" "(KNOCK AT DOOR)" "Larry, we need to talk about your writing." "We'll deal with you being a peeping Tom later." "I'm sorry you don't like it, but I refuse to let..." "No, it's brilliant." "But why is the mother so horrible?" "Everything isn't about you." "Oh, nothing is about me." "My life is devoured by my children." "In 21 years I haven't thought about myself for five consecutive minutes." "But it's good, isn't it?" "Did you like the ending?" "Yes, Larry, it's very good." "You're going to make us very proud." "In this family?" "You're going to make us mildly pleased in a complicated way." "Come and look at this." "The rocks, just by the chapel." "Oh!" "That's my girl." "Hello!" "Mrs Durrell?" "Theodore Stephanides." "Delighted to finally meet you." "(MURMURS)" "I suspect you need a cross-piece there." "Here." "I believe it's called erm... a purlin." "Leslie, what's your new girlfriend's name?" "How do you know about her." "I know everything, darling." "I'm your mother." "She's called Alexia." "It's the loveliest name." "And if you ever want to type it, you'll have to give Larry his X back." "To koritsi mou," "I Alexia einai... (ATTEMPTS TO SPEAK GREEK)" "(LAUGHS HEARTILY) Leslie!" "(SPEAKS GREEK)" "Why are you so good to us, Spiros?" "We have no money." "We argue all the time." "We have a word, philoxenia." "It means "love to strangers"." "That is so sweet." "And it's clear you need help." "(YELLS) Sodding, bloody!" "Lugaretzia, how do you say this in Greek?" "(LUGARETZIA SPEAKS GREEK)" "(LESLIE COPIES HER)" "That is my revenge on you, Leslie." "An X for an X." "I just made them look less violent!" "Does anyone live here?" "Oh!" "Somebody died?" "My friends Donald and Max." "I invited them over." "Oh." "Gosh, who's this?" "(SIGHS)" "I went to the bank again today." "Still no sign of our money." "(SHOUTS IN GREEK)" "We're going to have to get jobs, aren't we?" "Why are they putting the table in the sea?" "It was Leslie's idea." "He doesn't have many." "How dare you!" " Yia sas." " You too." "Leslie!" "It's my eldest boy." "Please, help us."

"I declare, I wish I could go out exactly like this." "Ashton, I've just had the most wonderful news." "I beg your pardon." "Goodness, little sister... you act as though people were born with clothes on." "Ashton, I've had a message from Billy." "He got here three days ago." "He hasn't bothered to get in touch till now?" "Not very gallant." "I'm sure that he had good reason." "But that doesn't matter." "What's important is that he's at Fort Moultrie... and he'll be here in Charleston this afternoon." "My, how grand!" " Oh, botheration." " What's the matter?" "It's just that I didn't prepare James for Billy." "Don't worry." "I'll meet Billy outside." "James won't even have to know he's here." "Of course, you know, I'd love to see him, too... but I have one of my silly old meetings." "And I'm sure you two lovebirds would rather be alone anyways." "So you give Billy my special love, you hear?" "I will." "And I'll fix it for next time with James." "Now, you listen here, little sister." "You be extra careful on those streets today." "Both of you." "It's Election Day, and this town is just bound to go crazy." "Especially if those stupid Yanks put that illiterate in the White House." "Brett, honey, I didn't mean that Billy was a stupid Yank." "I know you didn't." "And thank you." "We will be careful." "The Union is dead!" "Get back up North where you belong, blue belly." "I missed you." "I wrote to Charles weeks ago." "But I still haven't received an answer, if he sent one." "I'm sure Charles was delighted that you asked him to be your best man." "Unless he's begun to think I'm another no-good Yankee." "He's your friend, Billy." "He'd never think that." "I know." "Even if he chooses to fight for the South." "I'd miss him very much if he did choose that." "Very much." "You're thinking about Orry, aren't you?" "I love him, Billy." "I really don't want to hurt him." "I was furious the night I left... and I said a lot of things that I'm sorry for now." "So we're back to waiting for his permission?" "No." "Just hoping for his approval." "My family means as much to me as yours does to you." "I know." "And it means more to Orry than you can imagine." "We can't wait for your brother to get his life in order." "We've got our own lives to think about." "I don't know when I'm going to get leave, but when I do..." "I want us to get married right away, understand?" "You sound so angry, Billy." "I love you, Brett, but we've waited long enough." " St. Michael's church bells." " It must be the last election returns." "I'd like to see what's going on." "Would you feel uneasy walking outside with a Yankee officer?" "Not uneasy." "Proud." "All right." "Listen, Billy." "It's The Marseillaise." "The song from the French Revolution." "Are they crazy?" "It's the American Revolution, Yank, of 1860." "Cannon fire." "It's the cadets at the citadel." "It's just a salute." "Excuse me." "They don't seem to be friendly." "Excuse me." " Stay with me." " Hello, Yank." "Stay behind me, Brett." "Just stay back, all right?" "You ain't going to risk firing into this crowd." "Don't try me." "Look, I never ran from a fight in my life." "Come on!" "Run!" "Stay back!" "Get him!" "Come on." "I can't believe those Yankees elected Lincoln." "He wasn't on the ballot in 10 of the Southern states." "Secession is a matter of Southern honor." "You're damn right." "We must secede now." "Brett went right off to sleep." "She always was a scaredy-cat." "I'd never get the vapors over something like that." "Maybe she learned her lesson... showing herself on the street with a Yankee." " I'd say she asked for it." " I couldn't agree with you more." "But right now I want to hear all about the special convention." "It's about to happen: secession." "What I've been working toward for so long." "And not just South Carolina." "When we secede, six other states are about to follow." "Freedom, a new government, and I'll be at the top." "So will you." "You're going to spill my champagne." "It's expensive." "Who cares?" "Soon you'll be able to bathe in it if you like." "Miss Ashton?" "A gentleman wants to meet you at the front door." "Who is it?" "I don't know, ma'am." "He said he got to talk to you about a job." "All right." "It's probably my dressmaker's husband." "I won't be more than a moment, James dear." "Then I want you to tell me everything about today." "I told you to come tomorrow." "I want my money for going after the Yank." "My husband is home." "Come back tomorrow." "I can't help it if he got away, missy." "Pulled a gun, he did." "Somebody could've got killed." "Now, I still got to pay my boys." "You didn't kill him, and you still expect to be paid?" "Now." "You said $20 in gold." "You can't be too careful these days." "Much obliged, missy." " Ashton, who is it?" " No one important, dear." "Just someone wanting something for nothing." "God above." "Is it really you, George?" "Get the cinders out of my hair and wash my face... and maybe we'll both be sure." "Jed, get Mr. Hazard's bags up to the guest bedroom." "And make sure Semiramis turns down the bed." "Why didn't you let me know you were coming?" "'Cause I didn't want you to tell me not to." "I know I haven't written... but I've been extremely busy with the harvest, and all this political turmoil." "When I got off the train in Charleston, it reminded me of Mexico." "Only I felt more welcome there." " How are things up North?" " Just the way they are down here." "There are some people up North... who can't wait for South Carolina to secede, so we can all go to war." "But war fever's not why I came down here." "Why then?" "To try and save our friendship." "Now, hear me out, Orry." "I thought about apologizing in writing... but that's never been good enough for me, so I'm here to say it face to face." "I'm sorry." "Please don't let a fanatic like my sister, or the ones down here... kill our feelings for each other." " Have you heard from Virgilia?" " No, not since that night." "That's another matter." "I shouldn't have taken her part." "I lost my temper." "So did I." "Now you've put me to shame, George." "God, I'm glad you came." "Now I can apologize." "I have missed you, George." " That's grand, George, congratulations." " Thank you." "I always knew you'd be a wonderful father." " Next March, if all goes well." " Of course it will." "I think so." "Constance is an amazing woman." "My brother Stanley and his Isabel, on the other hand... are enough to try the patience of a saint." "It's a waste of time to talk about them." "You haven't told me anything about yourself." "Not much to say." "What about Madeline?" "Haven't you been able to see her?" "Madeline is not the same woman, George." "She's always distant now... and often ill, from what I hear." "No one I know has seen her for months." "I'm sorry." "I shouldn't have brought it up." "There's nothing anyone can do but change the subject." "We've talked about everybody else." "Now, what about Billy and Brett?" "What about them?" "They want to get married here." "Mont Royal." "What about this war fever, George?" "Can't you see what they would be up against if it happened?" "Sure." "I know the obstacles." "So do they." "But they're young." "They're in love." "They'll make it through." "Orry, you know what it's like not to be able to marry the person that you love." "Yes, I do." "All right, George." "I still have my doubts." "But I will give Brett my permission to marry Billy." "That's great." "Why don't we go to Charleston together... so we can tell them both at the same time?" " You mean it?" "You're here to say yes?" " Thank you." "I'm just sorry it took me so long." "Orry, thank you." "Thank you for your help." " I'm sorry about our quarrel." " Hush." "It's all forgotten." "I can't wait to tell Ashton." " Yes." "Where is our sister?" " She went to see James." "Institute Hall?" "To watch him speechify with the other secessionists." "I'm sorry." "I shouldn't spoil today." "Nothing could spoil today." "Nothing at all." "I'd like to propose a toast." " To your undying happiness." " Cheers." " Mead." " Hazard." "I've come from Maj. Anderson." " The garrison has been placed on alert." " What?" "They're expecting violence if secession is announced." "You should know, sir." "You're obviously a Southerner." "Lt. Mead, this is my future brother-in-law, Mr. Orry Main... and my fiancée, Miss Brett Main." "I believe you know my brother, George Hazard." "You're to proceed with me at once back to the Fort." "But he has leave." "All leaves are canceled, miss." "I'll wait for you outside." "Lieutenant." "When will I see you again?" "I don't know." "Bye." " I love you, Billy." " Take care of yourself." "Goodbye." "Well, I guess they've done it." "Secession." "You want to go outside, George... and watch the South celebrate its own funeral?" "Wait, I'm going with you." "Brett, it might be dangerous." "I have a right, Orry." "It's my country, too." "Secession." "We've done it, and I was there!" ""The Union existing between South Carolina..." ""and other states of United States, is hereby dissolved! "" "You would do better to congratulate your sister, Ashton." "She and Billy are to be married." "Can't celebrate that and Secession at the same time." "Then damn the Union, and damn your union!" "Shut up!" "You fools don't know what you've done... to yourselves, your children, to all of us!" "Southern rights!" "Southern rights!" "Forbes." "Madam Huntoon." " Forbes, you're drunk as a skunk." " Not yet, but I intend to be." "Now listen, Billy and Brett are going to be married." "Orry finally gave his consent." " When will this happen?" " We'll know soon enough." "The question is, what are we going to do about it?" "I think we should go to bed and discuss it." "Well, come along then." " Have you seen Ashton?" " She's around somewhere." "Is our celebration to your taste, Mr. Hazard?" "What do you think, Huntoon?" "George and I fought for the Union." "You people have just torn it apart." "We have declared our freedom to the world." "Of course we'll have to protect it." "No foreign power can maintain bases here." "That means all federal property, including the Fort... will have to be surrendered immediately." "Our commissioners will settle that before President Buchanan leaves office." " What if old Buck doesn't see it that way?" " Then we'll deal with it our way." "And if I were you, sir, I'd keep my mouth shut in Charleston." "Your Yankee accent is more offensive than ever." "Brett dear, what do you think?" "This will be the Hazard branch of the family when you and Billy are married." "If we are ever married." "It's been almost two months since Orry gave his consent." "I haven't seen Billy once, not even on Christmas." "Your brother said that Billy's garrison left Fort Moultrie over Christmas... and moved to Fort Sumter." "They had to slip out secretly, Mother, in the dead of night." "They burned Fort Moultrie's gun carriages before they left." "The people of Charleston were furious." "Now they want to starve them out of Fort Sumter." "Perhaps they'll just let them leave the harbor and sail back up North." "Orry says that Billy's commander, Maj. Anderson... swears to hold Fort Sumter at any cost... even though every gun in Charleston seems to be aimed right at them." "Brett, try not to lose faith." "President Davis doesn't want war." "He just wants the Confederacy to be left alone." " And maybe we will be." " I am trying, Mother." "But I've almost given up hope of ever marrying Billy." "I just pray that he'll be sent to some safer place." "Even if it is far away from me." "I'm worried about your cousin Charles, too." "Now that Texas has seceded..." "I wonder, will he remain loyal to the Union... or will his blood call him home?" "All officers and enlisted men loyal to the North... prepare to move out in 10 minutes." "Have you bedroll?" " I just can't believe it's come to this." " Neither can I." "I'm supposed to lead the Union contingent to the Gulf." "Suddenly we're on different sides because some politicians say we are." "Well, I'm not choosing any side." "I'm staying right here." "Makes no sense, does it?" "We've shed blood together, eaten the same rotten food together." "We've been closer than brothers." "Now I'm supposed to look at you and see an enemy." "I can't do that." "Take care of yourself, Charlie." "You, too." "Or I'll have your hide, soldier." " I'll walk you out." " Better let me go first." "Half the men have already decided the other half is capable of anything." "Move out, Yank." "Good riddance, you blue bellies." "We don't need you Yankees." "Corporal, I'll never forget your saving my scalp... when the Comanche had other ideas." "I'm grateful." "Whatever else changes, that won't." "Too bad, ain't it?" "Because now I'm thinking I should've let them have it." "I'm sorry you feel that way." "Because any man who stays ain't fit to wear the Army blue." "What was that, Corporal?" "I said, if you stay, you're a yellow traitor." "Don't let him get away with that." "No one calls me a traitor, Corporal." "Dismount." "Go to hell." "Let them fight it out." "Get that damn Yankee." "Pick him up and take him with you." "And I'll kill the next man who calls me a traitor." " What's that you're writing, sir?" " My resignation." "There's no regular Army officer here left to accept it." "I'll just leave it here." "I'm headed home." "What made you change your mind, Lt. Main?" "I don't know." "Never been much for reasons." "I'm just a hell raiser and a horse soldier." "But I think the South's got enough philosophers." "Maybe they're going to need someone like me." " Sir." " Lieutenant." "Those are dispatches for Gen. Scott." "I want you to carry them." "To Washington, sir?" "I expect you'll be glad to get off this island for a change." "I wouldn't want to be gone, sir, in the event of hostility." "There will be no hostilities that we initiate." "I refuse to go down in history as the man who fired the first shot." "I'm advising Gen. Scott, that in my estimation, we'll need 20,000 men... to penetrate the harbor defenses and reinforce this garrison." "You'll be carrying that, and other confidential papers." " Sir, I'll leave at once." " I wish that you could." "First Capt. Hart will have to obtain clearance from the Governor." "I understand." "If he does get clearance, you'll leave at dusk tomorrow." "Pack everything, Lieutenant." "You won't be coming back." "You're being transferred to Washington, permanently." "But, sir, I..." "Sir, I'm engaged to be married, sir, to a local girl." "I think we're all aware of that, Lieutenant." "How long would it take?" "Is she nearby?" "Near enough, sir, if I could get a message to her." "Hart might get one delivered, if you write it now." " Sir, does this mean that I" " You're on leave till tomorrow night." "What you do in the meantime is your business, Lieutenant." "But by 9:00 tomorrow, you will be on a northbound train... married or single." "Yes, sir." "Maj. Anderson, sir." "I'm going to enjoy putting a bullet between Billy Hazard's eyes." "I surely believe you will." " Do you have the pistols?" " Yes." "But be careful how you load them." "We wouldn't want too much powder in one of them, would we?" "Preston, let me refresh your drink." "Thank you, sir." "What time is Hazard planning to marry the Main girl?" "Noon, according to Ashton." "They knew better than to invite us, huh?" "A Southern girl marrying Yankee trash." "Don't matter." "We'll get to go to the Yankee's funeral." "Ashton will send us another message... as soon as she finds out what time their train leaves." " Then we'll meet them halfway." " Good." "And after that, there'll be one less Yankee to fight." "Drink up, gentlemen." "We have plenty of time for another round." ""Whom God hath joined together..." ""let no man put asunder. "" "Thank you." "My very best wishes, Brett." "I think you know I mean it." "Charles, you make a great wedding present." " Thought you were still in Texas." " Thank God I'm not." " You and Brett." "What did I tell you?" " Thank you." "I want to think this marriage will keep our families together... no matter what happens." "So do I." "Billy, congratulations." "Too bad George couldn't be here to see you." " You make the most beautiful bride." " It's the dress." "It made me feel beautiful when I wore it." "It almost broke my heart when Ashton wanted hers made." "Well, I'm glad." "That way, you were able to give it to me." "Brett, honey." "You were so sweet to invite me to your wedding." "Especially after the awful way I behaved in Charleston." "You were very wrong, Ashton." "Very wrong." "I'm afraid I had a little touch of the Secession fever that night." "But James and I just insist on coming to the flag stop seeing you two off." "Thank you, Ashton, but it's not necessary." "You hush now." "We wouldn't have it any other way." "What time does your train leave?" "4:30, Mr. Forbes." "I waited around back for Miss Ashton, just like you told me." "She said, "Train going to leave by 4:30."" "You did just fine, Clarence." "Now go get yourself some hot corn bread." "Thank you, sir." " You earned it." " Thank you." "4:30." "We'd best get started." " Wouldn't want to miss them." " Good luck to you boys, now." "You're performing a public service." "A fine comeuppance for those Yankee-loving Mains, too." "Madeline?" "What were you doing, my dear?" "You were listening, weren't you?" "I didn't mean to, Justin." "I misunderstood." "You're not sending your nephew... to murder anyone, are you?" "Madeline, you're sick." "You should be in your room." " You need more of your medicine." " No." "I said, go to your room." " No, I'm going." " You're not going anywhere." " Let me pass." " You're not leaving this house." "What are you staring at?" "Get back into the kitchen, or I'll skin your hide!" "I'll kill you for that!" "Elijah!" "Mr. LaMotte's been hurt." "Help him." "Go!" " Now, we'll see you at the flag stop." " We'll see you there." "Be happy, my darling." "You can write to us, care of the War Department, Washington." "Bye." "Take care, everybody." "All right." "Thank you, Homer." "Goodbye, everybody." "To Mr. and Mrs. William Hazard." "Oh, my God!" "Lieutenant, horsemen coming." "Pull up." "You hear me, boy?" "Pull up." "Pull up." "Had to pay our respects." "Ma'am." "You remember my friend, Preston Smith?" "And you, sir, must be the groom." "Lt. Hazard." "I'm Forbes LaMotte." "We've never met officially... but I've had the pleasure of your wife." "Knowing her, that is, before you did." "Lieutenant, we best be getting on." "Don't want to miss that train." "Boy, you're not going anywhere until I give you leave." "Homer, drive on." "You touch those reins, boy, and there's going to be blood all over this road." " Forbes, you're a fool." " I declare, sweet." "I still have a fondness for you, even if you do talk like a Charleston whore." "LaMotte, you trash." "Get off that horse." "Get off!" "Do you hear what I think I heard?" " Did this Yankee pig meat insult me?" " That's right." "I do believe he did." "In that case..." "I demand satisfaction." "Billy, don't." "It's what they came for." "In that case, I'll be happy to oblige them." "Billy, please don't." "You ignorant darky, his second stands over there." "Ready, gentlemen?" "Turn and fire on the count of 10." "One, two, three... four, five, six... seven, eight... nine..." "Billy, wait!" "Interfering son of a..." "No!" "You picked the wrong man for that." "Are you all right?" " Jackasses gave you a short load." " What?" "That's why the ball only carried half way." "Madeline got to Mont Royal and told us how they plotted this whole thing." "Thank you, Cousin Charles." "We'd better get you to the train station fast." "Before Preston Smith rouses the whole countryside." "Ashton, I still can't understand why we drove halfway to Columbia." " I thought we were seeing Brett off." " Don't be tiresome, James." "I just didn't feel like waiting at some godforsaken flag stop." "Because you thought Billy and Brett would never get there, didn't you, Ashton?" "I don't know what you mean." "Well, I am sorry to disappoint you, but Billy and Brett were on that train... in spite of everything you did to prevent it." "Now, look here, Orry, what's this all about?" "That is what your wife is going to tell me." "You're hurting me!" "I swear, you look just like an old thundercloud." "It was your idea, wasn't it?" "A nice legal way for Forbes to murder Billy." "I don't know what you're talking about." "Ashton, you can't lie your way out of this one." "You're frightening me." "What if Mother heard you talk to me like that?" "Stop it!" "It won't work!" "Madeline heard Forbes get the message from you about what time the train left." "You think I'll lower myself to deny the ravings of some sick-headed woman?" "You shut your mouth, or I will!" "Whether you deny it or not, it doesn't matter." "You plotted with Forbes." "Who told you that?" "Not Forbes?" "Forbes can't tell anybody anything." "He's dead, Ashton!" "Thanks to your scheming." "Dead?" "It was all your fault!" "You and that Yankee scum you call your friends!" "I'm sorry that we didn't succeed, because they all deserved to die!" "You get out of here... and you take your husband with you." "You're no longer part of this family!" "Gladly, but you remember this:" "My husband is part of the new government." "And he'll make sure it knows how to deal with traitors." "I don't know what happened to her." "I do." "It's happening all over the country." "Bad apples taking over the barrel, Orry." "I'm so ill." "You'll be better here." "We'll take good care of you." "And you'll never go back to him." "No, never." "I feel so weak." "What was he giving you?" "A tonic." "He got it from his doctor." "It was some kind of drug." "So you'll probably feel a lot worse before you're better." "But I'll be with you all the time." "That's all that matters." "Don't dismount till you tell me what you want." "I want my wife, and you're standing in my way." "I wouldn't do that." "What do you want, Smith?" "You ask me that after that Yankee murdered my friend Forbes?" "Killed, after accepting a challenge to a duel." "The rest of you stay where you are." "You may dismount, Justin." "My cousin Orry would like to speak to you alone." "I've given Madeline sanctuary here at Mont Royal." "Sanctuary?" "From her own husband?" "You haven't been one." "You've beaten her, locked her up, drugged her... treated her worse than an animal or a slave." "And you treat them worse than any man I know." " Now, you listen to me, Main" " No, you listen!" "If you ever try to take Madeline back, you'll have to kill me first." "If you ever set foot on my property again, I will take it that you've come for that... and I'll kill you on sight." "What will Justin do?" "Nothing, if he wants to live." "I told you, you're safe at Mont Royal." "You're going to get a divorce on grounds of physical cruelty... and then we're going to be married." "I almost believe it." "It's as true as my love for you." ""In your hands, my dissatisfied fellow-countrymen..." ""and not in mine..." ""is the momentous issue of civil war." ""The Government will not assail you." ""You can have no conflict without being yourselves the aggressors." ""You have no oath registered in heaven to destroy the Government..." ""while I shall have the most solemn one to 'preserve..." ""protect, and defend it. "'" "I'm honored that you took my advice... and left your pledge to recapture all the federal forts... out of your inaugural address, Mr. President." "You were right, Mr. Seward... in not wanting to alienate the Southern unionists." "We can have no peace without them." "Are you sure, sir, that we cannot offer more concessions to the South?" "They have their Fugitive Slave law, do they not?" "I have pledged I will not interfere... with states where slavery presently exists." "Now, what more can you want?" "They perceive your vow to keep slavery out of the new territories... as an economic threat, Mr. President." "They fear it will not allow for Southern expansion." "I believe... it's time the South learned to compromise, also." "I intend to be President of all the United States." "He looked at us." "I'm glad we came here instead of going to the Capitol to hear his speech." " Yes." " I think I'd rather just see him." "There he is." " Don't you think he's impressive?" " Impressive?" "The man is incompetent." "Jefferson Davis is his only equal in that respect." "But that's to our advantage." "You said "to our advantage. "" "To our advantage how?" "Neither the North nor the South is prepared for war... though they do nothing but threaten it." "The war, when it comes, will go on and on." "Neither side will know how to fight it, or how to end it." "The longer it lasts, the better it is... for those of us who serve no side but our own." "You're counting on a blockade of Southern ports?" "Very good, Burdetta." "If there's one thing I learned in the Army... there's nothing like a good war for making money." "What if there is no blockade?" "Madam, you are talking to a military genius!" "A blockade of Southern ports is inevitable." "Then your investment will make you richer than your late husband ever did." "Sometimes I think you love his money more than you love me." "Well, I do love his money." "And I don't remember extending the emotion to include you." "You must love me." "I could hardly mistake avarice for passion." "My dear, dear Burdetta... if you didn't have the cash to invest in my ship..." "I'd be in bed with someone else who did." "You're such a devil." "I wonder how wise I am to travel South with you." "Well, once I've shed my uniform, you would be unwise to trust me... down there alone, with your late husbands money." "You just suit yourself." "I do have friends who will be very happy to see me again in the South." "And I have enemies... who will be surprised." "It's only a matter of time before George is recommissioned." "I understand Lincoln is looking for West Point officers especially." "I don't suppose George is looking forward to that." "But I am, and you should be, too." "George is a fool not to make all the money he can from this war." "He said that would be profiteering, Isabel." "Who cares what it's called... as long as it gives us the cash and the power to get Hazard Iron back?" "As soon as George leaves for the Army, we'll take control again." "And we'll see where that leaves your brother and his Irish slut." " Careful." " I am." "It's infernal that I have to leave so early, especially now." "You can't help it." "Those government orders must be stretching the foundry to the limit." "You're right." "You'd think that Hazard Iron was the North's only manufacturer... of cannons, shell casings, and mortar." "It's a pity Mr. Lincoln's speech didn't clear the air." "There wasn't much of a chance of that." "Now that he's been inaugurated, it looks like war's more likely." "Now listen, if anything happens, you let me know right away." "Dr. McLain said it would only be a couple of days." "You worry about the foundry, me lad." "We'll be fine." "Good morning." "Goodbye." "Sweet Jesus." "Virgilia!" "We'll be needing someone else to help get Miss Virgilia up to her room." "No!" "She can go to a hotel... or she can go to a hospital... or she can go to hell." "But she cannot stay here." "Do you think she would have come here if she had anywhere else to go?" "And whose fault is that, Constance?" "No matter what she does, you welcome her back with open arms... in spite of the rest of us, in spite of the way George may feel about it." "It's George I'm thinking of." "This poor creature is her own worst enemy." "I see terrible tragedy for her." "And I'll tell you, I will not have George blaming himself when that happens." "Now she's got the Irish gift of prophesy." " We will not allow" " Be quiet, Isabel!" "Virgilia's my sister, too." "But she's your responsibility while she's in this house." "Fine." "Mama." "What is it, darling?" "You've hardly said a word all day." "I have to go away for a while." "But I've spoken to Charles." "He's going to postpone his enlistment... so he can stay with you while I'm gone." " To protect me from Justin?" " I don't trust him." "But he won't dare try anything with Charles around." "Where are you going?" "North." "I have to see George about our partnership." "North?" "But if the war starts, Pennsylvania will be enemy territory." "I know." "But our new government ordered all our mills to start producing war materials." "And George didn't invest money in a mill to have it used against him." "I know you want to repay George... but where will you get the money?" "I've mortgaged Mont Royal." "What?" "I got Mother's permission." "She agrees with me, it's a matter of family pride." "Southern pride." "Your pride." "And I love you for it." "We are Southerners, and we still have honor... and nothing will take it from us." "So this is what $500,000 looks like." "Kind of a shabby thing to carry it in, though." "Exactly." "The less attention it attracts, the better." "Orry, this trip is too dangerous." "I still say you should let me go, and you stay here with Madeline." "No, I owe George Hazard a lot more than money." "It's my debt, I'll pay it." "There's another reason, isn't there?" "I want to see him again." "It may be the last time I ever will." "Battery, load!" "Ready, sir." "In, battery." "Feed." "Feed." "Point." "Steady." "Fire!" "Attention to orders." "April 12, 1861." "At 4:30 a. m., on this date... the United States garrison at Fort Sumter was fired upon." "It is now under bombardment... by artillery of the Confederate States in rebellion." "Our nation has been attacked without provocation... and we are now at war." "May God preserve and protect... the United States of America." "Amen." "Nothing to worry about, folks." "Just a freight train accidentally derailed." "We'll have the track cleared shortly, and we'll be on our way." "How about old Beau, just going to blast those Yankees right out of Fort Sumter?" "It ain't going to be easy though." "Beauregard's a good general, but Maj. Anderson's stubborn." "Sumter's fallen!" "Just came over the telegraph, Sumter's fallen." "You don't look pleased, sir." "Are you a Northern sympathizer?" "My deepest sympathy is for the South, sir." "Can't you write any faster?" "That's telling them, Abe!" " Excuse me, sir." " I beg your pardon." "What was that, mister?" "I need to get through." "I have a train to catch." "We've got ourselves a Southern gent." "What you got in the bag, Reb?" "I advise you to let me pass." "Back off." "Excuse me, sir." "My husband and I are from South Carolina." "I made this for him." "It shows your support for the Union." "You can buy a real one when you get where you're going." "Why, thank you, ma'am, but you really think we need that kind of deception?" "You wear it, for your own safety." "Thank you." "Good day." "I don't know how you got through, but it's great to see you." " We're both so delighted, Orry." " Thank you, Constance." "We've got a lot to catch up on." "Well, you two start without me." "I'll be right back." "We got your letter about Madeline." "I can't tell you how happy the two of us are that you're both finally together." "I never thought it would happen, it's like a miracle." "She..." "She's home again?" "Yes." "She's sick and destitute... and Constance didn't have the heart to turn her out." "I thought I'd show you the best news of all." "Oh, no." "Here she is." "She's beautiful." "You must be so proud." "You might say George was proud when she was born." "Every male citizen of Lehigh Station got a cigar... and that even includes Thaddeus Hunter, who's only six months old." " What's her name?" " Hope." "Don't ask stupid questions." "Just get to Murphy's Saloon as fast as you can, and say what I told you." " Yes, ma'am." " Hurry up." "This is why you risked your life?" "To bring me money?" "What do you mean?" "It's your money." "It belongs to you not the Montgomery government." "You didn't invest it in the South to have it confiscated." "You invested it because of me." "I don't know what to say." "I never expected that." "But then again, knowing you, maybe I should have." "There's not a lot of honor between people these days." "You're a crazy fool, but you've got more than your share." "We hear you're a Southern sympathizer." "They're here to take you!" "And I sent for them." " In the name of God, why?" " Because he's a traitor." "He's a Southern traitor." "He and his kind murdered Grady." "The militia killed Grady." "Justice will be done!" "I hope they kill you!" " Give him to us!" " Send him out, Hazard!" "You'd better give him to us, Hazard!" "There's a local freight train, eastbound at 11:00." "I think it would be best." " I'll be on it." "I won't endanger your family." " Virgilia's already done that." " I'll slip out the back." " Like hell you will." "They're probably back there anyway." "You leave this to me." "You people get back up to your rooms, and stay there, please!" " Back in battle." " Follow me." "Lynch him!" "Let's lynch him!" "Come on, then, it's an old Army rule." "Man who gives the order leads the charge." "Give him up, Hazard, he's a Southerner." "This man is no traitor." "We were in the same class at West Point." "He served under General Scott in Mexico, at my side." "Now, I know most of you." "You're my neighbors." "But the first man who moves against my friend is the first man to die!" "You back there, you put that gun away!" "We can take him." "Take him yourself." "It ain't worth getting killed over." "Hazard wouldn't protect a Southern traitor." " That was close." " We're not out of the woods yet." "I'll feel a lot better once you're on that train." "God go with you, Orry, until we're all together again." "I hope we will be." "I know we will be." " Be careful, please." " Of course." "I'm going now, before George gets back." "I'm sorry it had to come to this, Virgilia." "It's the last time, Constance." " I'll never step foot in this house again." " Don't say that." "This is your house much more than it is mine, Virgilia." "You were born here." "But what you did tonight was very wrong." "Orry's our friend, he had a right to feel safe in this house." "I have no tolerance of my enemies... even when they come in the shape of a friend." "I know that." "And more's the pity." "Virgilia, I know you've had a hard time since Grady died." "Perhaps you've had a difficult time balancing things out in your mind." "I'll say this for you, Constance." "You tried." "Time and again, you tried to keep me in this family." "And I thank you for that." "But it didn't work, and it never will." "Don't say that, they're your blood." "Surely someday..." "No, what's in my blood isn't in theirs." "Do you know that I look at my brothers and my mother... and I can't believe that I was ever a part of this family." "They don't know me at all." "They don't care about my cause, or my struggle." "Yes, they'll pay it lip service." "But they won't sacrifice anything for it." "They will not endure cruelty or hardship." "I'm afraid those things are coming, for all of us on both sides." "Let them come!" "Freedom has to be born in blood and fire!" "And only they can wash away my sin." "I have sinned." "I married a man with black skin." "That's my sin in the eyes of the world." "But, Constance, do you know what my real guilt is?" "That my love for Grady destroyed him." "And I'll never forgive myself for that." "You're not well yet." "Where will you go?" "Washington, where the power is... where there are men committed to my cause." "Men with the power to strike, and the power to punish." "That is God's power, Virgilia." ""Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord. "" "How will you live?" "I have means." "Goodbye, Constance." "I believe these are your things, Virgilia." "Now take them and go!" "What are you going to do if the South offers you a commission?" "They already have." "A brigadier with their new War Department." "I guess a bad leg is no handicap at that rank." " But I'm with Madeline now." " Thank God for that." "I just hope I don't have to leave Mont Royal." "Until she is divorced and we're married, I can't let her stay there alone." "I suppose you'll be going to Washington with Constance and the baby?" "They've offered me a spot on the general staff." "And I've got to give them an answer, which I don't have yet." "But Stanley can run the foundry." "And Lincoln wants all the academy men he can find." "So does Jeff Davis." "You know, years ago..." "John Calhoun said that West Point men would lead great armies." "He never thought they'd be leading them against each other." "Well, if we have to meet like that..." "I'd rather we never met again." "Do you remember this?" "Our $10 bet that I would graduate from West Point." "That's right." "Maybe it brought us some luck back then." "Why don't we keep each half... and put it back together when the war is over?" "When the war is over." "Can you see anything we could have done to stop all this?" "I don't know." "I think we had a chance somewhere along the line... and we missed it." "Or threw it away." "What are we stopping for?" "I'm George Hazard, of Hazard Iron." "I make those cannons." "Where you headed?" "Washington." "President Lincoln thinks the Rebs will attack the capital." "Why did you stop us?" "Special passenger." "This man's on official business for the War Department." " Plenty of room in that one." " Much obliged." "Orry, just a minute." "You might as well wear the real thing."

"Previously on "Queen of the South"..." "I deal in nothing less than metric tons." "We'll take the ton." "I shall expect the first payment within the week." "This is my wife, Kelly Anne." "Hi." "I need you to do something for me." "Camila Vargas is a coldblooded criminal." "She'll get word soon that we're here and now we come for whatever she's got left." "Where's my mom?" "There's something I couldn't tell you over the phone." "I pray that you remember me as the man that I aspired to be." "I'm so proud of you." "Do you understand there's no way we can distribute this amount?" "I do." "And do you understand that if we don't get that first payment, a fleet of El Santo's hit men are gonna be on the next flight to Dallas." "El Santo gave us no choice." "I don't remember asking you a damn thing." "He said take a metric ton or nothing." "I understand it put us in danger." "So why'd you do it?" "Because now you have a choice." "With nothing, you don't." "It was a gamble." "I made it alone." "Well done, Teresa." "Gonna need a word with you, James." "Why is he still alive?" "He saved my life when he didn't have to." "Teresa made a direct connection with El Santo." "We take out our man, we risk losing our only supplier." "You're making judgment calls now?" "Teresa makes 'em, you pat her on the back." "I make 'em, I'm insubordinate." "She did exactly what I asked her to do and more." "You're defying me." "We're gonna need to prepare this location for operations quickly." "And you're gonna set it up properly." "All right, we'll make a start on the distro." "No, you take care of your new best friend." "El Guero is your responsibility now until I decided what to do with him." "Teresa is gonna help me set up distribution." "I can't stay here." "Not in Dallas." "She wanted me dead, Teresa." "That was before Bolivia." "She's happy with what we've done." "No, she's happy with you." "I'm gonna talk to her." "No one's safe with Camila." "Everybody's expendable." "You can't see that?" "Come on." "We got work to do." "Epifanio." "Isabela received a necklace with El Santo's logo on it." "Now, she has no clue what it is, but we do." "Why is El Santo threatening our daughter, Camila?" "El Santo's my new supplier now." "I have a payment due to him in a week, so I guess the necklace is a reminder." "You went into business with this religious lunatic?" "You destroyed everyone I did business with then left me nearly with nothing." "You really think I was not going to rebuild?" "She's our child, Camila." "Listen, how much is the payment to this man?" "$3 million." "Listen, I'm gonna get the cash to cover your first payment." "Then I'm gonna take the coke you got from them, move it myself, and pay off that psychotic zealot." "And you are finished in this business forever." "You know by now how well I respond to threats, mi amore." "You don't get to tell me how I earn." "When your earning threatens the life of my daughter, you're God damn right I do." "And if you think my threat is empty, well, you just fucking try me, mi amore." "So then you get the guns and you have to kill all the alien bad guys to save the galactic princess." "That sounds violent." "Maybe that wasn't a good game I gave you." "No way!" "It's awesome." "All my friends at my new school wanna play it." "I'm glad." "Listen, I have to go." "I love you, okay?" "Don't let those bad guys get you." "I won't." "Bye, Teresa." "Thank you." "Salud." "This is probably the best thing I've ever tasted in my life." "Well, at $2,000 a bottle, it should be." "I remember that first time Epifanio and I could afford a bottle like this." "You think it's a better drink." "But then you realize, it's a better life." "Epifanio's distributors are ripe to be lured back in for two reasons." "First, we have a superior product." "It's what coke was in the '80s." "No adulterants, incredible euphoria, absolutely no come down." " And second..." " They can't get product because we blew up Epifanio's tunnel." "Good." "I've set up a meeting with a man that controls the largest region in the Southwest." "KiMoon Kim." "He distributes northern Arizona to Houston." "400 kilos a week." "He looks like a kindly grandfather, but don't let that fool you." "He came up in the Korean mob, deadly and ruthless." "This is how you turn $1 million a month into $5 million a week, if we succeed." "And Teresa... we will succeed." "I need 3 million cash, and I need it immediately." "This is your father." "Does she think that I don't know she's with that pinche Kique Jimenez?" "You have more pressing family issues." "We just received word from our Dallas distributors:" "Camila is trying to steal them back." "She's got meetings set up already." "One is with our Southwest U.S. distributors, KiMoon." "I offered to pull her out of the fire with El Santo with my money, and she does this." "Anyone who meets with her is declaring their betrayal to me." "It should be dealt with accordingly." "She's just going to keep going." "Your wife put your daughter in danger." "Compa, isn't it time that we put an end to her right now?" "No." "Do what you gotta do to stop Camila's business." "But don't touch my wife." "Is that understood?" "Claro, compa." "Claro." "She is respectful." "She is." "So the merchandise is of the highest quality, Mr. Kim." "And unlike Epifanio's product, it can be delivered to you today." "I was assured that Epifanio's delivery issue will resolve itself shortly." "No, his delay's costing you millions of dollars." "And he's charging you 30,000 a kilo." "You can get ours today at 25,000." "You'd be getting a better product for half a million dollars less." "And at what price does loyalty become for sale?" "All this talk about money." "I apologize profusely." "Teresa's young." "I have high hopes for her." "It's difficult to teach this business to those whom you love." "My own son, KiWan..." "My wife and I worry." "Well, you're fortunate to have the relationship you have with your son." "I'm ashamed to admit that Epifanio is attempting to separate me from my own daughter." "SungShil will be saddened to hear." "In the midst of your own family turmoil, you invite into your home." " I am honored." " And I am honored to know that even if you came to say no to me, you're still open enough to bring your taster." "His palate is without question." "And I'm sure he'll find our product unlike anything you can find available anywhere." "For Epifanio, you're a number on his ledger." "To me, you're family." "And I will protect you and yours like I protect my own." "Well, looks like we're in charge of some highlevel shit here." "You get promoted?" "You should." "I mean, you did do everything Camila asked you to." "Almost everything, anyways." "You trying to make me regret that?" "I don't know, man." "I'm grateful." "I just..." "I don't know if Camila feels the same way." "La Paz was one thing." "You're gonna have to prove yourself in Dallas." "You're gonna meet a guy..." "Delaney." "He's gonna sell you some equipment we need." "Why me?" "If Camila knew I let a snitch watch her stash, she'd kill us both." "Take the truck out front." "Watch yourself." "Will do." "After the little stunt Epifanio pulled on us," "I need to send a message." "Well, I'll do what I can, but I don't usually handle divorce settlements." "Well, I don't trust anybody else digging about my business." "Can I count on you to protect my interests?" "That you can." "Absolutely." "Can we continue this later?" " Same room, same time?" " I'll be there." "Not to talk business, though." "Devon, thank you so much for coming." "From here on out, you'll be reporting to me." "With his injury sustained in the raid on the trawler, it's unclear when Agent Finnerman will return." "Or if." "It is important work that Garrett was doing." "The best way we can honor him is to finish that work." "Which is why I'm assigning you as the head of this task force." "It'd be my honor." "The U.S. Attorney's Office wants us to focus our efforts on the trawler company that transported the cocaine seized at the docks." "U.S. Attorney Christopher will be working inhouse on the case." "It could be a smoking gun if we can tie it to Camila Vargas." "Any ideas where you're gonna focus your efforts?" "Outside of putting a bullet in Guero D'Avila's head?" "Yeah, I think I know where I'll start." "My husband's an attorney." "He works will all different kinds of people." "In the penthouse suite at a Ritz while ordering room service?" "Camila Vargas runs a major drug cartel, with operations in Mexico and Texas." "They're responsible for the murder of hundreds of people." "Christ." "Including three agents from this office." "Jesus." "Camila orders people killed like she orders breakfast." "Now, like it or not, your husband's put your life at risk by choosing to be involved with her." "We need your help to stop her." "My husband doesn't talk to me." "He doesn't tell me anything." "He's a safe." "And when we do talk, it isn't about work." "How about these people?" "You seen any of them around Cole?" "No." "No, I've never seen those people before in my life." "Gracias." "You know, family is everything to KiMoon." "I knew you were gonna use money to lure him in." "And I knew what his reaction would be." "So when you stepped in, he saw himself in his son." "Family is his weakness." "He took the bait and we've got him on board." "But KiMoon's distribution isn't enough." "Now, this is Miguelangelo." "Like the painter, you know this man has a passion for art." "And a severe case of obsessive compulsive disorder." "He is the Howard Hughes of cocaine." "He doesn't allow any of his men to touch him or to shake his hand." "He forbids it because of the germs." "Not everybody can deal with his OCD." "Never go into business with someone unless you know what their weakness is." "What's mine?" "Guero." "That's why you asked James to kill him in Bolivia?" "He's a snitch, Teresa." "It doesn't matter how many times he bats his blue eyes at you." "He can't be trusted." "I've given you my loyalty." "You don't have to kill him." "I don't have to consult you or anybody else on these matters." "You know, Guero, he still sees you as a morra on his arm." "He doesn't see what I see." "If you want to succeed as a businesswoman, Teresa, you have to learn to control your weaknesses... before somebody else exploits them and it costs you your life." "Salud." "Salud." "This baby right here is like your invisibility cloak." "Like in "Harry Potter," right?" "Now, it connects to any cell tower within a mile of the radius." "It makes your cellular and data web communications untraceable." "So you can talk all your crazy gangster shit with your crazy gangster friends, and motherfreaking Columbo could be right outside your door." "He'd be like, "Listen to them nice boys talking about they moms and shit."" " Nice." " I also got some primo police scanners on." "Little bit of everything." "Just depends on what you're looking for." "All right, yeah, man." "Um, yeah, gimme four of these" " and six of the scanners." " You a wise man, dude." "You a wise man." "P.S., got a little side hustle if you hungry." "Got a little white girl burning a hole in my pocket looking for a party, man." "Thanks, man." "I think we're good on coke." "Shit." "Alpha 33 to five, I need all additional units to Hickory and Pearl Stone." "Fugitive fleeing on foot." "Hello?" "How's my favorite executive consultant?" "This is Kelly Anne Van Auken." "We met at the benefit party a while back." "Yeah, hi." "How are you?" "Ha." "Well, I'm just living the dream." "Listen, um, I'm having a few girls over tomorrow night for a little wine tasting party." "Could you join us?" "I know this is kinda random." "No, thank you for inviting me." "Well, I'll text you the address just in case you can make it." "And I hope this wasn't too weird." "Not at all." "I'll see you then." "Okay." " Bye, darling." " Bye." "Cole's wife just invited me to a wine tasting." "I've met her once." "Why would she call me?" "She must have a reason." "That woman has a mouth like a faucet, but she's married to our attorney, so just go." "Keep her close." "It's her again." "Yeah?" "Babe, hey." "I need you, I'm..." "I'm a few miles from the house." "I'll drop you a pin, okay?" "They didn't see me yet." "Hurry." " How bad is it?" " There are cops everywhere." "We're going to get out, okay?" "Shit." "Get down." "Get down!" "The police are closing in." "This is exactly what I was afraid of." "This is bad." "Hey." "If Camila finds out..." "I'm supposed to meet her at the gallery right now." "We'll deal with it." "There's no dealing with Camila, you know that." "You need to leave Dallas." "Teresa, listen to me." "We went to Bolivia." "You got her a new supplier with my connect, all right?" "Camila, she might be cruel, but she's a businesswoman first." "She needs us, and she knows that." "But the DEA... you're a fugitive." "Look, anywhere I go, I'm gonna be in their crosshairs." "So... if it's all gonna end tonight, there's no place I'd rather be than right here with you." "Come here." "So, you kidnapped me to come all the way to el campo." "What are we doing here?" "I wanted us to have a chance to talk." "Here?" "Why?" "No father loves when his daughter starts dating boys." "But Kique Jimenez is not any boy." "He's unacceptable." "'Cause he's a cartel leader's son?" "I'm a cartel leader's daughter." "And please, don't le and tell me you're just Governor now." "I heard that song." "That song doesn't tell everything." "You never met your grandparents." "They were proud farmers." "And this was their farm." "This is where I grew up." "In Culiacán, all the farmers had to pay protection from a local gangster." "Epi..." "They called him El Crocodilo." "My father struggled to pay him." "No, Epi, no..." "Epi, Epi, no." "When my parents were short one time too many..." "He hanged my mother and my father..." "From this tree." "I found them like that." "Then I grew up." "I married your mother." "And for the first time since I lost my parents," "I didn't feel alone." "I took over the farm." "And when the Crocodile came around to collect his money," "I had to beg for the life of my family." "The only reason he spared them was because I agreed to grow marijuana on our farm." "Whatever happened to the Crocodile?" "The Federales ran him out of the country." "I got into this life so you wouldn't have to come home and see your mother and father hanging from a tree." "I had no choice." "You do." "So why are you choosing Kique Jimenez?" "Ever since I found out what you and Mom do," "I'm scared all the time." "Kique's the only one who understands." "He makes me feel safe." "I'm not gonna stop seeing him." "Isabela..." "Your business is my Crocodile." "Forgive the intrusion." "I hope I didn't disturb your family business." "Is everything in place?" "Si, Governador." "It's being taken care of." "Yes?" "We'll speak in the morning." "William!" "Camila will not be doing business with KiMoon or any of our other distributors." "Excellent." "Camila Vargas." "Octavio Rentas, Miguelangelo's associate." "Please, have a seat." "He's just finishing up some business and he apologizes profusely for being so late." "Well, considering how much he values punctuality," "I don't doubt it." "So, a thousand kilos of Bolivian product." "That has to be refrigerated to keep its high quality, no?" " Yes, of course..." " I'm sorry to interrupt." "I haven't introduced myself." "Teresa Mendoza." "Octavio." "Before we discuss business," "Camila always likes to make a toast." "Well, I wouldn't want to get in the way of tradition." "Good." "Excuse me one moment." "He shook your hand." "I don't know who he is, but he doesn't work for Miguelangelo." "Go, now." "Devon Finch." "I thought we weren't talking work." "All right, fine." "Devon Finch is a businessman." "Right, understatement." "He has diversified holdings all over the world." "Real estate, stocks and bonds, boutique hotels." "What, are you looking to make an investment?" "Maybe we should take a tour." "He keeps 10% of the rooms empty, even though they appeared as booked on paper." "10% of 5,000 rooms that run $100 a night." "365 days in a year." "That's around $18 million." "And he still has his privateUberforjets business." "No, Cole." "I'm not interested in investing in Finch's companies." "I'm interested in distribution and money laundering through them." "Well, before Devon will meet anybody new, he requires a $250,000 donation to his charity." "And there's absolutely no guarantee he'll say yes." "$250,000 for a meeting?" "Devon Finch gets a hundred offers a day." "He accepts one." "You willing to gamble with those odds?" "The bet's on me?" "Yes." "Hello.." "Camila destroyed our tunnels." "That's fine." "Let her hide in the dirt." "We will own the air above it." "Each of these will carry ten kilos." "We'll jam the Homeland Security GPS and then fly ten of them over the border every day." "We still have Camila to deal with." "I have a call into the U.S. Attorney." "We'll let the DEA handle her." "I spoke with General Macintosh..." "Our Drug Czar..." "And, well, he isn't sure how the U.S. will benefit from a joint TexasSinaloa task force." "Well, I'm sure he's aware of the successful strikes" "I've ordered against the cartel in my state." "He is." "And he's also aware of the rumors swirling around you and your own involvement in the cartel." "Let's not act as if the United States has never worked with men with a past." "I'm not proud of it, but as a youth in Sinaloa," "I did what was necessary to survive." "And now I'm doing what's necessary for the survival of my people." "Dallas PD." "Five bodies down." "It looks like cartel." " Go." " Your country's been spared the violence and the bloodshed we have endured as a direct result of living next to the world's greatest consumer of narcotics." "Now, you may build a wall, but the violence you see in Mexico, it's coming." "Is that a threat, Governor?" "It's a cautionary warning from a friend, Mr. Black." "We have a common problem." "And I'm offering you a solution." "Think it over." "In a series of gangland killings, the brutality and carnage of which authorities are saying is unprecedented in the Dallas area." "The following images are very graphic." "KiMoon Kim... the owner of the Golden Palace Hotel..." "And four of his associates were found brutally murdered." "Both local..." "Epifanio did this." "And then he tried to have us killed." "I never thought it would come to this." "You saved my life." "Thank you." "You're welcome." "So..." "let Guero live." "$3 million, courtesy of Epifanio Vargas for our payment to El Santo." "Epifanio's gonna be contacting you to arrange the pickup of the coke." "That should be an enjoyable phone call." "I'm gonna need a minute." "Come on." "Denny's contact at the Dallas P.D." "said he was almost caught today." "So the cops know he's in town." "You were right." "I should've taken care of it in Bolivia." "He can't stay here." "I'm not ready to make that decision yet." "We first have to move the product." "You're not giving it to Epifanio." "We have another payment to El Santo in a week." "He threatened your daughter." "You were right about Guero, now you're second guessing it." "I don't know where this is coming from, Camila, but this isn't like you." " This is messy." " Well then I clean it up like I always do." "Get that filthy money out of here." "Hi." "Your friends are really nice." "Yeah, Deborah pisses on her husband." " What?" " Yeah, I know." "Well, Roger wasn't getting it up anymore, so they decided to try a little something new and it actually worked for a little while." "The only problem is now when Debbie goes into a public restroom, she kinda gags a little bit." "And you see Misty over there?" "She's been having an affair with her husband's partner for the last three years." "And then Tina, she ran up a hundred grand on her husband's AmEx card last month." "Doesn't know she's about to be cut off." "We all kinda gave up our lives for the fairy tale, but the thing is, the fairy tale is bullshit." "Why are you telling me all of this?" "I'm a notorious oversharer." "I just wanted you to know that we ain't perfect." "There's a lot of skeletons in these walkin closets." "What's yours?" "My skeleton?" "How much time do you have?" "I think your boss, Camila, is sleeping with my husband." "So that's why you asked me here?" "I know the position that puts you in." "She's your boss." "But I hope, as a woman, you understand the position that puts me in." "Yeah, of course." "Is it true?" "Camila's happily married." "She wouldn't do that." "Right." "I'm sorry." "Excuse me." " Yeah?" " Party's over." "I'm outside with Camila." "We have a meeting with a potential distributor." "You need to look presentable." "Here." "What did Cole's wife have to say?" "Nothing, some boring stuff about wine and yogurt." "Something wrong?" "Guero needs to leave Dallas as soon as possible." "We're letting him live, as long as he goes away." "I understand." "And I understand you love him, but I'm not gonna allow matters of the heart to risk my business." "Epifanio, hello." "I trust you have received the money I sent for your payment." "We need to make arrangements for me to pick up" "El Santo's product." "Yes, thank you so much for the payment." "But I'm not shutting down." "If you want your metric ton, you're welcome to come and pry it from my cold, dead hands." "You'll see what I'm capable of when the safety of our daughter is at stake." "I know what it's like for a family to live in fear of a madman." "I'm not afraid of crocodiles." "And I'm not afraid of you." "I choose war." "Or did you forget that?" "I'm sorry." "I'm sorry El Santo threatened your daughter." "Don't be." "She was never at any risk." "You sent her the charm." "I knew how Epifanio would react." "I knew he would give us the cash to pay El Santo." "My daughter was never in any danger." "Since we lost our first and second distributors, we're meeting with a potential new one," "Devon Finch." "If we land him, we'll have all the distro we need." "You can wait for us here." "All right, so if you can get me out of this room as soon as possible..." "Good afternoon." "I'm Devon Finch." "Camila Vargas, this is my associate, Teresa Mendoza." " Nice to meet you." " Please forgive the rush." "I'm on a flight to Chicago in eight minutes." "Bristol dropped by 16, check on that pharma short with Stu." "$250,000 buy me a hello but not a meeting." "If you're looking to invest," "I'm afraid my broker days are over." "But I can refer some people." "Stock is not a stable commodity." "But I believe a private jet company is." "My company's not for sale, and I'm not looking for a partner." "If you're looking to buy in aviation, I'd suggest Delta." "Does Delta fly to Bolivia?" "Because I have about 30 million reasons why you should." "I've never been there, but I hear La Paz is nice." "It's better than you can imagine." "It's been a sincere pleasure meeting you both, and once again, thank you for your generous donation." "Today, we announce the formation of a joint U.S.-Mexico drug task force, headed by Special Agent in Charge, Alonzo Loya, of the Drug Enforcement Agency and Colonel Alberto Cortez of the Mexican Federales." "As we move forward..." "Her cold, dead hands." "Drug warfare that has invaded this city." "And now, the Governor of Sinaloa," "Epifanio Vargas." "Epifanio created a task force with the feds." "He's coming after our product." "He's brought the war to us." "Good afternoon, Dallas." "Since becoming governor, I fought the cartel in Culiacán." "Now, together with the DEA," "I'll bring the battle to Texas."

"Hey, should I sleep over tonight?" " If you want to." " Well, do you want me to?" "I want you to if you want to." "Wow, this looks amazing." "It's my specialty." "I only grill for very special people." " I appreciate that." " ( laughs )" "You know, I don't think I'm gonna sleep over tonight." "That's cool." "I mean I slept here every night this week." "Look, I totally understand." "And it doesn't sound like you want me to." "I want you to." "I mean, if you want to." "But if you don't, that's totally cool." "I want to." " Then I want you to." " Well, good." " ( phone ringing )" " I'll get it." " No, let's eat." "I'll call back." " I got it." "It's Sloan." " Huh?" " Your caller I.D. Says it's Sloan." "Oh." " I'm assuming there's only one Sloan." " Yeah." " Should you answer it?" " No." " What, should I?" " No." "So what do you think she wanted?" "I have no idea." "( phone ringing )" "Please get it." "No." "Don't you want to know what she wants?" "I don't care what she wants." "What if something's wrong?" "You should answer it." "Please." " Hello?" " Hey, eric, it's Sloan." " Hey." " Is this a bad time?" " No." " Okay." "I just wanted to let you know" "The golf charity thing you guys are playing in tomorrow," " I'm co-chairing the event." " Oh." " I didn't know if you knew that or not." " Did not." "Well, I wanted you to so it's not awkward" " Between us when we see each other." " That's cool." "So hopefully this awkwardness ended the awkwardness." " Okay." " Okay." " Good talk." " Okay." " Bye." " Bye." "So what did she want?" "I don't know." " Why did you say that?" " I don't know." "Should have just told her "I'm seeing my ex today, no big deal."" " Yeah." " You've been with this girl a month." " She's already got you living in fear?" " I don't know." "Poor E. You're such a mess." " Speaking of messes." " Jesus." " Vince:" "Yo, what up, ari?" " Hey." "Hey, you good?" "Everyone good?" " Yeah, we're good." "Are you good?" " Yeah." " You don't look good." " In fact, you look awful." "Yeah, I didn't get any sleep last night." "The wife made me sleep on the couch." " First time in 15 years." " Why, what'd you do?" "Well, I suppose I lied to her." "Everybody seems to be doing that these days." "I just can't understand it." "Me and my girl, we always tell each other the truth" " And we have no problems." " Yeah, Turtle, you have no problems." "Sorry." "So sorry I'm late." "I could not find this place." "Hello, all." "Sharp shirt, Johnny Drama." " ( all laughing )" " I'll be hitting the pro shop." "What are you doing in civilian clothing anyway, lloyd?" " I have him caddying today." " Very nice, ari." "I'm building his self-esteem." "Go stand in the corner." "Right there, chop chop." "Incoming, 3:00." " Hey, guys." "Hey." " Hey." "Listen, sorry if I was a little weird on the phone last night." "Oh, it's not a big deal." "I'm sorry for..." "Everything." "You guys, thank you so much for coming." "Of course." "I see you're enjoying the wonderful breakfast." "I have your pairings here." "I hope you're not bummed." "This was difficult." " I put vince and Johnny together." " Why wouldn't you?" "With tom brady and mark wahlberg." "Gee, who's the ugliest person in that foursome?" "Think fast." "Ari, jeffrey tambor called 10 times" "To make sure I paired you with him and his sons." "He said he cleared it with you." "You'd be thrilled." "Well, it's for charity." "So I'll see you guys out there." " Got to go shopping, vince." " Let's do it." " See you guys later." " Bye." "Grab jeffrey and his kids stuff pronto." " Hey, ari." " Hey, jeff." "Ari, come on, you tell my boys how good my game has gotten." "Are you kidding me?" "His game is great." "That would be great." " So what about me?" "Who am I with?" " Who are we with?" "Actually, somebody requested to play with you also." "Really?" "Is it strahan or gretzky?" "'cause I saw them walk by earlier." "It's not, Turtle." "I'm sorry." "Murray berenson." "Who the fuck is that?" "This is a celebrity tournament and I don't get to play with a celebrity?" " What's up with that?" " I wrote a $5000 donation check, Turtle." "You didn't, so stop complaining." "Still don't make me feel good to know I'm playing with you and some other nobody." "Murray berenson is far from nobody." "The guy practically invented the management business." " Why do you think he wants to play with you?" " Good question." "I tried to get berenson to sign me like nine times in the '90s." "At least we know he has great taste." " Yo, gatsby and the funky bunch." " What's up, mark?" " What's up, boys?" "You guys know tom." " Hey, tom, how are you?" " Hey, vince, how are you?" " Good." "This is E." " Nice to meet you." " My brother Johnny." " Hey, tom, how you doing?" " Turtle." " Turtle." " Hey." "All right." "Okay." "Shall we?" "We shall." "Later, b squad." " See you later." " I'm driving." "What was that?" "What was what?" "You were a little rude to brady, no?" "Hey, unlike you guys, I don't sleep with the enemy." " Notice the head covers?" " What are you, five?" " I am what I am." " Is that eric murphy?" " Hey." " Murray berenson." "Yeah, of course." "How are you?" "Just came from my cardiologist" "And all four valves are working." "If he'd just marry my ex, or if anyone would," "I'd be utopic." " Is that a word, utopic?" " I don't know." "I'll check." "If it's not, I'll trademark it." " Cool." " So come ride with me, kid." " Oh, I got my friend." " He'll follow." "Come on." "Go, I'm good." "It's wonderful this tournament came when it did." "Oh, yeah?" "Why's that?" "Well, I just heard that you closed down your little shop." " Yeah, I did." " And I wanted to talk to you" "About coming to work at my big shop." "So, fellas, I'm thinking maybe we should make this a little interesting, huh?" "Really?" "At a charity event?" "Look, if you boys aren't up for it..." "No, we're up for it." "But is this gonna be like the old days" "When you tried to pay me back in personal training sessions and shit?" "I'm on a hit series now, mark." "Green money." " Oooh." "Vince?" " Hey, I'm easy." " Okay, what's your handicap?" " I don't play golf much." " What do you think it is, Johnny?" " Plus 50 maybe." " Is that good?" " Tom:" "I'm a three." "I guess not." "So what are you playing to now, marky?" "I'm up there, but I'll play you at a five all day." " Wow." " You?" "Call me a 15." "Oh, Drama, you sandbagging bitch." "I'm working all the time." "I don't get out there much." "What, mark and I are unemployed?" "This guy's had 12 surgeries in six months." "He just got out of bed for the first time today." "What, you guys don't believe me?" "No no no, ripley." "We believe you, okay?" " 15's not bad." " It's not good." "You want me to play to a 10, I'll play to a 10." "No, listen, if you're a 15, play to a 15." "Vince, we'll give you three strokes a hole." "How's that sound?" " Okay." " All right, game on." " $1000 a hole." " Whoa!" "Okay." " We got the tee box." " Take it." " What did you say this guy does anyway?" " I have no fucking idea." "I'm on a series, tom." "The same network as the super bowl." "You ever hear of tivo?" "Game on." "No mercy, vince." " Motherfucker!" "God damn it!" " ( laughing )" " Hey, take a mulligan." " Really?" "Drama, after that shot, take two." "What are you doing?" "Who are you to judge me, agent scum?" "This is for charity." "This is for my kids who I'm trying to impress." " Is that okay with you?" " Yeah, it's okay." "Oh, good." "Boy:" "Dad, can we get the fuck out of here already?" "Hey, dad, it's so fucking hot." " It's so fucking boring." " Hey hey hey!" "This is a family day." "Now shut the fuck up and hit the ball." "I like the tambor family." " Shut the fuck up, lloyd." " ( phone ringing )" " Hey, honey." " Whose car is this in the driveway?" "It's yours, baby." "You like?" "You're feeling really guilty, aren't you?" "No, I'm really not." "I just want you to know that I love you." " You said you did nothing wrong." " And I maintain that position." "And yet you buy me a maserati when you've been telling me" "Over and over again that we're trying to cut back?" "We are cutting back, baby." "Your lease is up and I just want to see" "How hot you're gonna look in that sexy beast." "Why don't you just say you're sorry?" "Because another man's affair is not my business." "And it is not my business to tell you." "So I can't say I'm sorry." "I thought we told each other everything." " We do." " Except this." " Baby." " Sick car, mom." "Come on, get out." "It's not mine." "When did you meet tom brady?" "It was years ago at a charity event." "And he couldn't have been nicer." "Whatever." "I don't get the guy's whole appeal." "I didn't even think he was that good-looking and I was standing right next to him." "Oh my god, you are such a hater." "No, I'm such a new yorker." "And I betrayed my new york trust" "By not telling him exactly what I wanted to tell him." "And what was it you wanted to tell him?" " That he sucks balls." " Ha, Turtle, he doesn't." " What do you know?" " I'm a football fan." "Yeah, I thought a giants fan." "And if you really were you'd know it's the obligation" "Of every true blood giants fan" "That if you see tom brady you tell him he sucks balls." "Turtle, do not tell tom brady that he sucks balls." "Actually, jamie, you know what I'm gonna do?" "Since you didn't, I'm gonna tell him he sucks balls twice." "One's from me and one's from you." " Turtle, don't you dare." " Love you, babe." "Bye." "Turtle!" "Idiot." "Where's he going?" "Yo, Turtle." "I have no idea." "Anyway, where was I?" "You were saying that you started out just like me." "Right, all I had was one big client." "George lazenby." "He was bond." "The baddest bond." "He told cubby broccoli to go fuck himself" "One day and he was bond no more." "Anyway, there were two of us, one room and a telefax." " How did you turn it around?" " With my charm, kid." "Convinced a big firm to bring me in." "Four years later I was running the place." "Have you ever considered" "Making a move to a bigger company?" "Not really." "I mean, the truth is" "I've been kind of running outside the system." "I've been doing pretty good." "I just don't really know anybody." "You know me now." "That's all you need to know." "They've written books about me." "Well, I've written books about me, but they've read them." " I've read them too." " That's good." "Ah, now this is good." "Hope so." "Six cubans drowned" "Off the florida keys to get me those." "So what is it that I can do for you?" "I was thinking maybe we could do some good for each other." "Oh, I'm guessing ari told you about me." "I'm actually kind of surprised he said nice things." "He and I don't usually see eye to eye." "Ari gold?" "The kid with the jew fro who used to deliver my mail?" "No, he didn't tell me about you." "Then who did?" "My goddaughter Sloan." "( laughing )" "Oh!" " The kids see that?" " Uh, I don't think so." "All right, that didn't happen." "So what is she so pissed about?" "I don't-- you know women." "The women I know know the man code." "It's no women's business to break that code." "That's what I told her." " Oh!" " Ahem." " Did they see that?" " Uh, no." "All right, you know, this is a little deep for me here." "Can we just-- let's walk up a touch." "Okay." "Just, you know, tell your wife to ask any man." "They'll all tell her the same thing." "I should probably have her call you." " You know, maybe you should." " Maybe, huh?" " Maybe I should call her." " Maybe." "Well, give me your phone, I'll call her." "You know what?" "You just focus." "I'm always focused when I'm out here." "What am I laying here anyway?" " Uh, not sure." " Three?" "Maybe two?" "( whispers ) let's call it two." " Okay - all right." " So who is it?" " Who's what?" " The office cheat, who is it?" " I don't know." "Is it that little prick bradley?" "He always looks like he's trying to fuck his assistant when I'm there." " It's not bradley." " Steve ball, the guy in the music department?" " 'cause he dresses like a cad." " It's not him." "All right, well, don't keep me guessing." "Who is it?" "What does it matter?" "You don't want to tell me." "We've been together for 23 years and you don't want" "You don't want to tell me." "You know the number on my checking account, for god's" "Go fuck yourself." "Unbelievable." "Wow, that is not so hard." "Did you see that, kids?" "I'm putting for a birdie." " Jeffrey." " Go fuck yourself." "I found your ball, mr." "Gold." "That's good work, lloyd." "Now go find this." "God damn it!" " Your brother's got some temper, huh?" " Yeah, he's a little fiery." "It's only 'cause you guys questioned my handicap." " It totally threw me." " Aw, we're sorry we got in your head, Drama." "I mean, I know how stable you normally are." "You didn't get in my head." "Only I can get in my head." "And I did." "Why don't we give your head a break and just call it off?" "No, my head don't need a break." "In fact, to prove it, let's double the bet." " Johnny." " Don't worry about it, bro." "Super bowl mvp," "Oscar nominee don't mean shit out here." "A handicap's a handicap and I'm gonna play under mine." " All right then." " Yo yo." "What are you doing, Turtle?" "I got bored of e and the octogenarian," "So I thought I'd join you guys." "I brought drinks." "Hey, thanks, Turtle." "You got a good one here." "Damn, I forgot about you, tom." "I only brought three." "I'm good." "I'm used to the heat." " Are you?" " Hey, do I know you from somewhere?" "Where you at the giants' super bowl victory parade last year?" "Wait, are you dating somebody?" " Yeah, if you can believe it." " Who are you dating?" " Jamie-lynn sigler." " Oh, right." "And I just want to say something from the both of us." " You..." " Jamie, she's awesome." "Yeah yeah, sweetest girl in the world." "You know what?" "We met at this charity event a few years ago." "Gisele loved her." "Really?" "Yeah." "You know, we should go out sometime." "Us?" "You and gisele?" "Yeah, or just come over to the house." "She cooks." "Gisele cooks?" "That's awesome." "Why don't you stop staring at the guy like you want to fuck him, Turtle?" "What?" "You want to get off the tee box?" "I'm trying to win some money here." "When we're done with you, Drama," "You ain't gonna have nothing left but that sag pension." "Yeah, we'll see." "Hey, should we bring anything?" "A nice bottle of wine or dessert or something?" "Yeah yeah." "She likes chocolate." "Chocolate?" "Done." " Ooh." " Fuck!" "God damn it!" "I'm telling you, it's the club." "I just had it regripped, man." "Something's up." "Come on, Johnny, let it go." "You're having an off day, that's all." " Take another one, buddy." " Yeah?" "Why don't you use this club?" "Works pretty good for me." "Really?" "You sure you don't mind?" "This is a bet." "I don't want to be taking anything off anyone." "Oh, yeah." "That's nice." "No wonder I'm getting smoked." "What is this, custom?" "Mine's off the rack." "Oh, yeah." "Fuck!" "God damn!" "Fucking god damn" "Sorry." "You broke tom brady's club, you asshole." "Sorry about that, tom." "Ahem." "Hey." "Hey." "How was your day?" "Not bad." "Can we talk?" "Uh, yeah." "Just one second." "If you would excuse me, I'll be right back." "Thank you." " What's up?" " It was your idea for me to play with murray." " Well..." " You said it was his." "It was his." "I just told him" "That you shut down your business and you might be available." "Well, how'd you know that?" "My friend is dating one of your ex-clients." "You seem to have a lot of friends." "Well, don't hate me because I'm popular." "What is the problem?" "The problem is you treat me like I'm some kind of" "Social experiment or something." " What do you mean?" " First you find me a place to live," "Now you're trying to get your godfather to hire me?" " These are bad things?" " But why are you doing them?" "Because I care about you." "I thought you didn't want to be friends." "I said I couldn't be friends right now." "And that's because I care too much." "So what, you want to see if you can turn me" "Into the man you want, then you'll consider talking to me?" "Eric, I have no idea what you're being so hostile about." "I'm hostile because while you may just think I'm vince's bitch," "I've done pretty okay for myself." "I don't need you out there begging people to offer me things." "I didn't beg anybody." "I told someone about you" "And I thought you guys might make a good match." "And apparently he agrees" "Because he's not some schmuck that's just gonna go" "And hand out jobs because I tell him to." "And I don't think of you as vince's bitch." "But clearly you do." " Maybe you don't know me so well." " I think I do." "Yeah, well, I told murray I don't want the job, so what do you think of that?" " I think you're an idiot." " Whatever." " Yes!" " ( cheering )" " Was that an eagle?" " Yes, sir." " Is that an eagle?" " Well played, jeffrey." "I told you not to speak to me." "How's that, kids?" "Come on, jeff." "When trust goes out of the relationship," "I mean, what's left?" "I mean, I don't think" " I don't think we can do business anymore." " Jeff, come on." " Listen." " I have to think about this." "I think he just fired you." "He fires me all the time." "Don't worry, it won't stick." " You played well, mr." "Gold." " Run to that next sand trap." "Run to the" " Man:" "Mr. Gold." " Yeah?" "Mr. Gold, we were wondering if you could verify mr." "Tambor's scorecard." " Verify it?" " He claims he shot a 55." "Course record." "I wasn't counting." "These greens were rolled like shit." "It was like putting on glass." "I feel bad taking this money from you, vince," "Especially since you played pretty good." "Don't sweat it, tom." "I just got paid $4 million to do the voice of a dog." "And the chase brothers are no weichers." " Why don't we just donate the money to this charity?" " Good idea." "Unless it's a charity for c-list actors who suck at golf." "I don't suck at golf." "I had an off day." "Next time we see each other it's gonna be payback time." "Oh, I look forward to it, Drama." "You want to roll another 18?" "Let's go?" " I will never play with you again." " Right now, come on." "Hey, tom, could you ever see yourself in a giants' jersey?" "That blue would really match your eyes." " How was your day, boys?" " Having dinner at tom brady's house." " You know he's not a make a wish kid, right?" " ( laughing )" "Jeffrey:" "You guys laughing at ari?" "Don't you know he's the devil?" "You want to extricate yourself from his destructive powers." " He fire you again?" " Uh-huh." "You know, I don't even know what he'd offer me." "But I assume I'd have the freedom to do a lot." " So why would you turn it down?" " I don't know." "It just didn't feel like the right opportunity." " You say this guy's a legend?" " Yeah." " And you can learn a lot from him?" " Yeah." "So everything you're describing sounds perfect for you." " At's holding you back?" " I don't know." "Maybe you should reconsider." "You know, just meet with him." "Get a feel for the place." " Yeah, maybe you're right." " Yeah." " You want some more wine?" " Sure." "Sorry, Sloan." "What?" "You just called me Sloan." " I did?" " Yeah."

"(breathing heavily)" "(baby crying)" "♫ Blue is where l want to be" "♫ When I'm down I'm in the sea" "♫ Looking up at monsters in the clouds" "♫ Red's the colour when you're dead" "♫ If you find me gone, I'm just in bed" "♫ Reading up on fairy tales instead" "(gurgles)" "♫ Now I know so many things" "♫ Got feet and I got wings" "♫ To carry me back home" "♫ To my house that's made of bricks" "♫ Well, that's just such a fix" "♫ To ever hold me down" "♫ White is what I was to start" "♫ Broken by my open heart" "♫ Dum-de-dee-dee" "♫ Dee-dee, dum-de-dum ♫" "(Skunk) Hi, Rick." "Hi, Skunk." "That looks good." "Oh, um..." "Yeah, you have to do the water first..." "Um..." "And then the suds and then the water again, um, to like..." "rinse it." "is it hard?" "Oh, it's... it'sreallyhard." "But I..." "I likeit ..." "I like it when something's clean 'cause you, you see it dirty and then you clean it, and then it's... ( stutters)... clean and you wash it and it's clean and then it's done. (chuckles)" "Cool. I'll see you later, yeah?" "See you." "Hi, Mr Oswald." "Hello, darling." "(Rick grunts) Ah!" "No!" "No!" "(Rick screams)" "Rick." "Are you okay, Rick?" "(door opens)" "(Mrs Buckley) Rick?" "Rick!" "(whimpers)" "Dave!" "Dave!" "Skunk, go home!" "Go back into your house." "(Skunk) lt was Mr Oswald." "Oh, my God." "Oh, my..." "Dave!" "My baby." "My..." "(Skunk) Jed." "(police chatter on radio)" "Can I come with you?" "Can I come in the same car?" "Would that be okay, if I come with him?" " l'm afraid not." "You're more than welcome to..." "(Mr Buckley) We'll, um, drive down behind." "(Jed) I don't get it." "Why is Rick the one they arrest?" "(engine starts) -(Skunk) I don't know." "(Bob) Fucking give it to me!" "(Saskia) Dad, fuck off!" "No." "(Sunrise shouts indistinctly) -(Bob) Thank you." "Come on, everyone." "(Saskia whining) Dad!" "What are you doing?" "(Bob sings indistinctly)" "(Sunrise shouting) Shut up!" "Shut up!" "You're too fat to sing." "Shut up." "(Saskia) Susan?" "Yeah?" "Are you in my fucking room?" "No." "(sniffing)" "(upbeat music playing on TV)" "What the fuck is this?" "Who have you been having sex with?" "l haven't!" "I didn't even know what it was!" "Oh, don't give me that bullshit." "Where did you get it?" "l stole it." "Bullshit." "Stole it from who?" "l ain't..." "Huh?" "I taught..." "Didn't I teach you?" "What?" "Keep your fucking legs shut." "Give me his name." "Give me his fucking name!" "Right. (mutters) Here you..." "(Susan) No, Dad !" "(Saskia) Not the telly." "I will !" "Give him his name, you stupid fucking twat!" "(man on TV) ♫ Up" "♫ Across and thrust, thrust, thrust" "What the hell are you looking at?" "You dirty perv." "Rick Buckley." "Rick Buckley?" "He forced himself on you, didn't he?" "No, no, we, we..." "Jesus Christ." "The animal." "Dad." "The dirty, retarded fucking animal." "Hi, Mr Oswald." "Hello, darling." "(Rick grunts) Ah!" "Hello, Mr Oswald." "l want to report a rape." "(grunts)" "(Dr Mortimer) All right." "You can put your clothes back on." "You are a fucking prick!" "You do your fucking job!" "(policeman) You talk to me like that..." "This fucking rapist..." "Just calm..." "... needsto be putbehindbars !" "Calm down, Mr..." "(Dr Mortimer) Your daughter has not been raped." "(Bob) What the fuck are you talking about?" "(Dr Mortimer) Your daughter's a virgin, Mr Oswald." "She's never had intercourse." "'Course she fucking has!" "She's..." "Dad." "Dad, she's right." "It never happened." "Susan." "l only said it did because..." "Susan..." "(sobbing) You wouldn't believe what I told you and I didn't want you" "to smash up the telly." "Susan, Susan, Susan." "Susan." "All right, you don't have to be afraid." "Mr Oswald..." "Shut up." "Mr Oswald..." "Shut up!" "Of them." "Of him." "You don't have to be afraid." "(keys jangling)" "(door opens)" "(policeman) Do you want to press charges, Mr Buckley, against Mr Oswald?" "I want to go home." "(Mrs BuckIey sighs)" "They should all be put in a home." "(Mr Buckley) They should." "Him in a jail." "Are you all right, love?" "Bloody animals." "(whimpers)" "(snapping)" "(sighs) -(Archie) How are your levels?" "(Skunk) Good." "How was your day?" "He hit him really hard, Dad." "So I heard." "You want to talk about it?" "No." "Do you want me to stay with you till you fall asleep?" "That's okay." "Can I have my hand back?" "Yeah. (chuckles)" "Good night, love." "Night." "Where the hell did I put my glasses?" "Red sofa." "Oh, right." "(Kasia hums)" "(Kasia) Archie." " Yeah." "It's Tuesday." "My wages." "Oh, crap." "Um, can I pay you tonight?" "l won't forget, I promise." "Yeah." "Ooh." "Early riser." "(Jed) What time is it?" "It's ten past eight." "(sighs) Oh, I thought it was like eleven or something." "(Archie) Where do you think you're going?" "(Jed) To lie down." "No, you're not." "Get back in here." "Get your breakfast." "(Skunk) Bye, Dad." "Yeah, bye, love." "All right?" "(Jed) Scrambled egg?" "Do we not have anything better?" "(Kasia) We have scrambled egg." "What?" "Nothing. I'll be out in the back." "(rattling) -(Jed) What?" "(Skunk) I'm just saying, cancer and all." "You'll catch it." "(Jed) Yeah, well, you make your choices, don't you?" "So annoying." "(Skunk) lt's gonna be great." "Mm-hm." "A secret room." "Come on." "Not a room." "A camp." "A base." "A lair." "What?" "Nothing." "A lair." "Quick, take my picture." "What?" "Take my picture in front of it." "Christ." "Come on !" "(knock on door)" "Hi." "I'm sorry." "(Kasia laughs) No, no." "Stop." "No." "(Skunk) Gross." "(Jed) Nice move." "(Kasia whispers) Stop, stop." "Hi, guys." "(Mike) Come on." "Look, this is a six." "(Skunk) That's cheating." "(Jed) What?" "Stop doing that." "(Mike) This is a nine." "Come on." "(Skunk) Mike." "(Mike) Yeah?" "(Skunk) When you're a teacher..." "(Jed) Blue." "... willyoustillbringustreats and stuff?" "Uh, no." "That's all gonna have to end, Skunk." "Really?" "Well, you see, the relationship between student and teacher" "is by its nature..." "(Jed) You won't be our teacher." "Well, you never know, Jed." "Mike." "By nature is what?" "Well, it's adversarial." "What does that mean?" "(whispers) Go." "Well, it means that it'll be my job to see you as the enemy." "He's full of shit." "Somebody only worthy of my contempt." "(Kasia) Mike!" "And you'll begin to see me" "that way too." "Mike!" "Whose go is it?" "(all) Yours." "Okay." "l won't ever see you that way, Mike." "(Jed, sarcastically) Aw." "lt's 'cause you're in love with him." "No, I'm not!" "(Mike) Guys, guys." "In my experience, the person who brings up the subject of love is more often than not the person who is in love." "Really?" "Shut up." "You're blushing, Jed." "(laughing)" "What about you two?" "Are you in love?" "Mike and I?" "Of course." "Then why aren't you married yet?" "(Jed) That's the question." "(snapping) -(beeping)" "(Kasia) All good?" "(Skunk) Uh-huh." "Night." "Night." "Close your curtains." "(Archie) Have you called Dr Curtis?" "Oh, yes, but he says, uh, he can't act in any way without Rick's permission." "Which he won't give." "This is what I'm saying." "He won't come out of his bedroom, Archie." "(Mr BuckIey) Janet sits outside his door all day trying to talk to him, and nothing." "(sighs) I'm sorry to drop in on you like this, out of the blue, but I just..." "You know, I just thought..." "I thought, "Well, Archie, he's a..." "a solicitor and... "" "So you want..." "you want to take this matter further?" "You want to make this a legal matter?" "Bloody legal action?" "No, no, no." "Forget it." "Uh..." "I don't want anything more to do with the bastard." "Oswald?" "Yes." "Why not?" "Because I'm scared of him." "I'm just really bloody scared of him." "(Mrs BuckIey) And you went under the water." "Five years old." "And your father ran so fast across those stones to get you." "And he got you." "He saved you." "And then..." "(doorbell chiming)" "Hello, Mrs Buckley. ls Rick in?" "Why?" "Don't know." "Just thought he might like to hang out or something." "He's ill, love." "He can't come out." "Oh..." "Okay, well..." "Goodbye now, love." "Bye." "(door closes)" "(keys jangling)" "(footsteps approaching)" "(Mrs Buckley) And anyway..." "Then we bought you that Matchbox tank." "Do you remember?" "For being so brave." "And you tried to give it to your dad because he'd cut his feet up running over those stones." "So kind, you were, so..." "I mean, what five-year-old in the world..." "would have done that, huh?" "Um..." "(mumbling) Stupid." "Hello, Archie." "Bob." "What can I do for you?" "I was wondering if we could have a little chat." "Chat?" "Yeah." "Yeah, absolutely." "Okay, well, um..." "I know things have been... toughforyou since Barbara passed away, you know?" "For you and for the girls, you know?" "And what with..." "everything that's been happening lately..." "I just..." "I wantedyoutoknow that , you know, if ever you wanted to talk..." "Talk?" "Yeah." "Fuck off, Archie, will you?" "All right." "Um..." "Well, what I wanted to ask you was, uh..." "if you could ask your girls to give the Buckleys a break." "They've been having a tough time of it lately." "Have they?" "Yeah." "That's really awful. (sniffs)" "When was the last time you cried, Archie?" "Cried?" "Yeah." "l don't know." "Why?" "'Cause the next time you will is the next time that you criticise my girls..." "No,hangon." "... inanyfuckingway whatsoever, all right?" "They're out of bounds." "And if Buckley can't take a little friendly fucking ribbing, then he's more of a pathetic prick than I thought he was." "Now, I'm having my dinner, mate, so if you don't mind fucking off." "Thanks." "(Jed) You know what'd make it better?" "A Blu-ray player." "Yeah, well, you can't have everything, Jed." "No, I'm just saying." "I got you that ashtray, didn't I?" "That's what I'm saying, Skunk." "It's brilliant." "It's the best ever." "Be great if we never had to go back." "What, to school?" "Yeah." "I don't know. I'm kind of looking forward to going, actually." "Oh, first year." "What?" "Sometimes when you're walking down the corridors," "the older kids will punch you." "What?" "In the stomach." "(Skunk shrieks)" "(Dillon) ldiots!" "Watch where you're going, will you?" "(Jed) Listen, mate, it's not our fault you can't ride your bike." "It's not my bike." "And I can ride it." "Watch this." "Whose is it, then?" "That is a travesty." "(Dillon) Hang on, hang on." "Right, you ready?" "(laughs)" "Hey!" "You thieving little spastic!" "I'll kill you !" "I'll kill you !" "I'll bloody kill you !" "Twats!" "Yes!" "What the fucking hell?" "Fucking hell !" "(gags)" "So who do you live with, then?" "My auntie." "Where's your dad?" "He's dead." "Dead?" "He was killed in a fire, along with my mum." "That's terrible." "And my sister." "I don't give a shit." "I was only five or six at the time." "(Skunk) Oh." "(Jed) Wow." "Cool." "Our mum ran away with an accountant from Birmingham." "Yeah?" "So are you a lesbian?" "No." "You look like a lesbian." "What does a lesbian look like?" "Kind of ugly." "(Jed) Oi, Skunk!" "(Mrs Buckley) No, but just stop them taking him." "Dave, why don't you just go in there and do something?" "(Mr Buckley) Calm down. I'm really..." "Sort it out, for Christ's sake." "(Sunrise) He's coming !" "(Mrs Buckley) Rick, Rick." "You've done nothing wrong, Rick." "Here he is." "(Saskia) Get the straitjacket." "(Mrs Buckley) Stop it!" "(Sunrise) Lock him up!" "(Mrs Buckley) Rick!" "Rick!" "I love you." "Put him in a padded fucking cell, the psycho." "(Sunrise) Cut his knob off." "(Saskia) Feed it to him." "(Sunrise) His donkey fucking knob!" "Hee-haw, hee-haw!" "(Saskia laughs)" "(Kasia) Jed." "(Jed) Has Rick gone mental?" "(Kasia) Shut up and go inside." "Where are you going?" "(Jed) He's coming in to play Xbox." "(Kasia) No, he's not." "Bye-bye." "Off you go back to your halting site." "(Dillon) I ain't no pikey." "(Jed) That's racist, Kasia." "Sorry, mate." "She's Polish." "(Kasia) Skunk!" "Bye." "You don't look like a lesbian." "No?" "So why'd you say I did, then?" "l don't know." "Because I'm ugly?" "No, you're not." "You're really pretty." "Am I?" "(laughs) No." "You're ugly." "(DiIIon) See ya." "(Mr Buckley) Well, sitting outside his bedroom door all day's not gonna help." "It's that kind of babying..." "(Mrs Buckley) Babying?" "Yes." "You don't know whether you're coming or going." "Look at yourself." "When did you last have a shower?" "Our son is sick." "Give him a break." "Our son needs to know I'm here!" "Calm down..." "Well,I'll..." "Please, don't." "Please, don't." "(Mr BuckIey) Rick, get out of this room !" "Rick, open this door." "If you don't open this door..." "I'm..." "Rick,I'mcomingin,you..." "(tearing)" "Ah !" "(Mr BuckIey) I asked the doctor they had there how long they could keep him in, and, uh..." "he said, indefinitely." "Right." "ls that true?" "Well, um..." "If a patient's been sectioned, they have the right to keep them in as long as they see fit." "(Mr BuckIey) I see." "(Archie) I'm sorry, Dave." "(Skunk) What's it like?" "I don't know. I don't know." "is it like One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest?" "(moaning)" "Stop it!" "Wait, hang on." "You saw that?" "(Jed) Kasia fell asleep in front of the telly one night." "Oh, my God." "Was she drinking?" "(tuts)" "What?" "I'm joking." "Ooh." "(Skunk) They cut a part" "of his brain out." "(Mike) Who?" "McMurphy." "(moaning)" "Stop it!" "(Kasia) Jed." "(Mike) Look, listen, that is not gonna happen to Rick, okay?" "Are you sure?" "Yes." "How do you know?" "Because I just know." "That sort of stuff, you know, it just isn't..." "(moans) ... doneanymore." "Ugh." "Stop it." "All right, let's go and make these things fly." "Whoa." "(laughs)" "(all laugh)" "(Mike) ... fuckingobsessing!" "Every single..." "(Kasia) lt's because you're avoiding..." "I'm not obsessing about a thing." "(Mike) Why can't we just have a normal..." "(Mike, whispering) Why can't we just have a normal conversation?" "When I come over here, it's my life, my life." "What am I doing?" "Can I just live my life?" "I'm getting this job because you asked me..." "(Kasia) What are you doing with me?" "You know what, I am fucking out of here." "I was just about to say that you should..." "(Mike) I'm actually going !" "So there you go!" "(Kasia) Where are you going now?" "Fucking home to my manky flat." "(Kasia) Asshole." "I mean, why the hell are you with a person unless you plan to stay with that person, you know?" "(Mike) Fucking out of here!" "(screams indistinctly)" "(Kasia) Fucking coward." "asshole." "(sighs)" "Are you and Mike splitting up?" "Go to bed." "(Kasia) And the things he said to me..." "You know what he called me?" "What?" "Obsessive fucking bitch." "Mm." "Fuck you !" "I'm just so worn out with it, Archie, you know?" "Well, we could sue him, I suppose." "Yeah, for what?" "l don't know." "Dereliction of premarital duty." "Very funny." "How about just for being a dick?" "Yeah, we could get him for that." "A lazy dick." "He values his freedom too much, his comforts." "Well, most men do." "That's why we need that push." "I've been pushing long enough." "Four years." "I'm 35 years old, you know?" "Really?" "Fuck off. I can't wait any more I just can't." "(Archie) ls that my wine?" "No." "(doorbell rings)" "What are you doing here?" "Just thought I'd knock about." "Jed isn't here." "(Skunk) So angry." "And she was crying and..." "l think she really loved him." "Yeah?" "(Skunk) I think she wanted them to get married." "Or buy a house." "Or have a baby maybe." "Right." "l would have married him." "Yeah?" "Mm." "(crane whirring)" "Oh, wow." "Come on !" "Oh, wow." "Dillon !" "This is really cool. lt's like..." "Come in." "You're a really cool girl." "Thanks." "For a lesbian." "(chuckles)" "Do you want a Nik Nak?" "No, thanks." "Must be a pain not being able to eat what you want." "Do you want to be my girlfriend?" "Okay." "Can I have a kiss?" "M..." "Maybelater." "All right, but later my mouth's gonna be all Nik-y Nak-y." "All right." "But not a splasher." "A what?" "No swirly tongues." "(chuckles) Okay." "(Jed) Look, you've got pretty ears." "It doesn't hurt that much." "(laughs) Get off. lt hurts." "Stop it." "(both laughing)" "Get your arms out." "There, one up your nose." "No, no. (laughs)" "Look, if you keep moving your arms, I can't give you a lovely nose piercing." "Get off." "You look so pretty." "Give me your eyebrow." "There we go." "(Skunk gurgles)" "(Kasia) All right, guys." "Come on, bed." "But we're doing our books." "(Skunk laughs)" "Bed." "(Skunk whines) Dad." "Come on, do as you're told." "Big day tomorrow." "Night, Dad." "Good night, love." "Good night." "Very attractive." "(Jed growls)" "Yeah, all right, yeah." "Good, yeah." "(Jed chuckles)" "Hey, where's mine?" "(both) Night, Kasia." "Very funny." "And don't forget teeth !" "(Skunk laughs)" "You want a drink?" "(Jed) And if you're wearing trainers, they'll stomp on them." "Bang !" "And if your hair's too long, what they'll do is they'll grab it from behind." "All right." "Stop!" "And they'll just start..." "(sighs) You need to know about this stuff, Skunk." "The better prepared you are, the better you'll do." "So, what they do is they grab your hair from behind and they just start snipping away with a pair of scissors." "So you pick your moment." "Yeah." "And you let them know the arrangement." "Yeah..." "What?" "The deal." "Right." "And then they know where they stand." "Yeah." "Which is..." "Nowhere." "Absolutely fucking nowhere." "(laughing)" "lt's funnier later on." "Okay." "(Kasia) What about Rachel?" "What about her?" "(Kasia) lf she walked in right now, would you take her back?" "You must be joking." "Not even for the kids?" "Why?" "So they could live in fear of her walking out again whenever she felt like it?" "No, thank you very much." "They wouldn't even know who she was." "Poor Archie." "Poor Kasia." "I'm off to bed." "All right, then." "Good night." "Good night." "You can follow me up if you want." "(sighs)" "(Skunk) Dad?" "Dad !" "Why aren't you in bed?" "Jed said I was gonna get my head flushed down the toilet." "By who?" "ln school." "And you believed him?" "And punched in the stomach." "Yeah, I believe him." "He said it's..." "He said it's tradition." "I was told the very same thing when I was your age." "That's the tradition." "What is?" "Putting the fear of God into the first years." "Nothing's gonna happen to you." "Come on, then." "Up you get." "Night." "Good night." "Dad, will you lie next to me till I go to sleep?" "Dad !" "(overlapping chatter)" "My God, Mike!" "lt's Mr Kiernan in school, Skunk." "Oh." "Not Mike." "Oh, right." "Well, in that case you can call me Miss Cunningham." "(chuckles) Fair enough." "Okay, everyone." "My name is Mr Kiernan." "(school bell rings)" "Uh, Miss Cunningham." "Yes, Mr Kiernan?" "Um, how is Kasia?" "Kasia's fine." "Will you, um, say hi to her for me?" "Do you have a message back?" "I do." "Dick." "Excuse me?" "It's what she said." "(Fiona) How many did you get?" "(Skunk) A hundred." "Shit." "And one of the long ones." ""l must not use inappropriate language... "" "What the hell did you just do that for?" "Sit down." "Give me some money." "What?" "Some money." "Why?" "'Cause I want some." "And if you don't, my sister's gonna kick the fucking shit out of you." "(Fiona) How much?" "All you got." "Get it all out." "You as well." "Go on, quick!" "Hurry up!" "Now, every week, from next week on, I want £2 from each of you." "What?" "That's what it costs to stay off the list." "(Fiona) What list?" "The list of fucking death, bitch." "Here's your shit fucking loser's out-of-date fucking mobile." "lt's broken." "(Fiona) What?" "The cow." "The absolute fucking ugly..." "Go on." "How many did you get?" "Two hundred." "Must be one of the bad ones." "Can I get a new phone?" "You've got a phone." "lt broke." "Can I get a new one?" "No." "Why not?" "You should have taken better care of the old one." "(Skunk) lt would make me so happy." "Quiet, Skunk." "I'd just be the happiest child." "I'm trying to work, love." "(knocking on door)" "♫ I'd be delirious!" "♫ lt's just not fair." "l don't care." "You don't care about me." "Yeah, he doesn't care about me." "(mimics telephone ringing)" "Go away, Skunk!" "He hates me." "That's what he said." "Please." "Stop it." "Please, Dad." "He wishes I was dead." "What?" "Nothing." "(beeps)" "Please!" "Emily!" "I don't want to hear it again." "Do you understand me?" "(Jed, mockingly) Emily." "(Dillon) What time is it?" "(Skunk) Ten past ten." "(Skunk) Do you think he's learnt his lesson yet?" "(girl yelps)" "Who's this?" "(Susan laughs)" "(Skunk) Susan Oswald." "Slut." "No, she's not." "Told you." "(unzipping)" "(sighs)" "They call that fell-at-io." "(Susan moaning) I have to go home." "(Kasia) Where have you been?" "Why didn't you call?" "I don't have a phone." "You little brat!" "How dare you do what you just did !" "Sit down !" "(dialling)" "Yes, she's here." "She's fine." "(Skunk) Sorry, Dad." "(breathes heavily)" "(Skunk) Dad." "My levels are off." "(Archie) You can never forget how important this is." "I know." "I know it's routine, I know it's hard..." "Say it's okay, Dad." "What?" "I said I was sorry." "Now you have to say it's okay." "It's okay." "What would you do if I died, Dad?" "I can't even answer that question." "Would you cry?" "Uh-huh." "A lot?" "I don't think I'd ever stop." "What if I..." "(groans and gasps)" "(laughs) Stop!" "No." "Get off!" "Get off!" "(laughs)" "Tell about the night I was born." "No." "Go on." "l don't know." "Why?" "The night, or the..." "The dream." "Please." "Come on." "No." "Not again." "Tell me." "Why do you..." "l don't even know why you like this." "l just do." "Come on." "All right, well, it's about this woman." "Mm-hm." "And different times in her life." "Different moments." "Yes." "Different moments." "Like what?" "l can't remember." "Think." "l can't remember." "Try ." "Um..." "Well,someofthem aresad." "Hmm." "But most of them are happy." "Hmm." "(Skunk) And the woman was me." "(Archie) And the woman was you." "And the dream was my future." "I don't know about that." "I mean, that's what it felt like, yeah, but, yeah..." "But what did I look like?" "Hideous." "You're nice." "Stunning." "And then you woke." "And then I woke, and I was happy and I was sad all at the same time." "And Mum was there." "She was the one that woke me up." "And she said..." "(both) "Archie, she's here."" "Meaning me." "Meaning you." "Well, you were the one about to be born, weren't you?" "(sniffs)" "Oh, Skunk." "l can't help it." "l know." "(Archie) You're such a strange girl." "(Skunk sniffs)" "Wah !" "Come on, let's get this done." "Here, you do it." "(Skunk humming)" "♫ Looking up at monsters in the clouds" "♫ Red's the colour when you're dead" "♫ Find me gone, I'm just in bed" "♫ Reading up on fairy tales... ♫" "(door opens)" "Skunk, we can go in now, love." "Hi, Skunk." "Hi." "(Mr Buckley) Why don't you sit down there, Skunk?" "(Skunk) Okay." "How are you?" "(Skunk) I'm fine." "Why are you talking like that?" "(Mr Buckley) lt's his medication." "Talking like what?" "Kind of groggy." "Am I?" "(all chuckle)" "Wow." "You've got your own telly and all." "Oh, yeah." "You know, I..." "I watch, um..." "l'm sorry." "No, no." "How's school?" "(Skunk) lt's fine." "We're actually on a half day today." "lsn't she good to come, Rick?" "Yes, she is." "She asked to, you know." "She's really good." "I always thought Skunk was really good, didn't I?" "(Mrs Buckley) Uh-huh." "l don't know." "(all laughing)" "What was it like?" "Hmm?" "You know, when you went kind of mad?" "That's..." "ls it all right if I say that?" "Actually, it's really hard to describe." "But it's kind of like there was a toxic cloud." "A toxic cloud?" "Yeah, or a..." "a mist of evil or something." "Really?" "Or badness." "Wow." "Yeah." "(both laugh) ls it there right now?" "(Mrs Buckley) Uh..." "Less." "In fact, Dr Sinclair was saying at this rate of improvement," "Rick might be able to come home for the weekend." "lsn't that right, son?" "When?" "Not, not now." "No, no, no." "No, not now." "(Mr Buckley) No, not now." "But soon." "(laughs)" "(Dillon) I had an uncle who was a nutter like that." "Thought he had worms in his hair." "Oh, yeah?" "Yeah, like nesting there." "Shaved it all off." "Been bald ever since." "ls he better, though?" "No, he's worse." "He lives in Florida now." "D'you know, they have lizards there." "What?" "Lizards, millions of 'em, just walking round the streets." "(in American accent) "Hey, how you doin'?"" "(laughs)" "You and I should go sometime, d'you know that?" "When?" "I don't know." "One day." "Why?" "Would you come if I asked you to?" "Yeah." "What about that guy you're in love with?" "Mike." "That teacher." "He'd understand." "I'm in love with you as well." "Sweet." "They call that a "ménage à trois."" "What does that mean?" "Love triangle." "Give us a kiss." "No." "Nice one." "(Fiona) I don't know. lt was like..." "I think he just switched off or something." "Click." "Click and he just wasn't there any more." "(Sunrise) Hello, fatty." "I haven't got it." "You haven't got it?" "Are you fucking joking?" "Let me go." "Let go!" "(stifles laughter)" "Fucking laughing?" "No. I'm sorry, Sunrise." "Bitch, you're gone!" "History, yeah?" "You're now officially on the list." "Just you fucking wait!" "Dumpy little turd." "(Vikram) Does he die?" "(Mike) I can't tell you if he dies or not because that's why we read, to find out, okay?" "But let's just all agree there is a chance that he may die, all right?" "(Vikram) I don't want him to." "All right." "(clears throat) Now, why do we think he goes on?" "Kevin?" "Well, his life was rubbish, weren't it?" "And boring." "Whereas through the doors there could be wicked shit." "Like dragons." "Like dragons and shit." "Trolls." "Yeah, like teachers." "(overlapping chatter)" "(Mike) Everyone, just wait, wait." "That, what Kevin said, is the definition of courage." "Right?" "Being afraid..." "but doing it anyway." "(Vikram) I still would not go." "(Boy) 'Course you wouldn't go." "(Vikram) I wouldn't want to die." "He doesn't die, Vikram." "You told me the end !" "Why did you have to ruin it?" "(all yelling) Why?" "Why?" "(yelling continues, echoes)" "You all right?" "(Skunk grunts)" "Please..." "Frigid slut." "Please." "Hold her." "I'm trying." "Well, kick her while she's down, then." "l am !" "Properly, in the ribs." "l am !" "Watch !" "I am !" "Do it harder than that." "God, shut up!" "Do it in the ribs, not the arm." "Shut up!" "I'll kick you next time!" "Harder!" "What you doing?" "What the hell is going on here?" "Come on." "Skunk, you all right?" "Listen, if you fucking touch me like that again, I'll report you." "Oh, you'll report me, will you?" "Yeah." "How old are you?" "Come on !" "She's half your size." "Oh, fuck off, you paedo." "(Mike) Go on, get out of here." "Get out of my sight." "Hey, Sunrise, get back here." "What are you doing?" "That's my sister." "Stay right there." "Don't talk to my sister like that." "(Mike) Come here." "Fucking queer." "Down there." "Stand down there." "You, be quiet." "Why are you listening to him for?" "He's a teacher, Sas." "Yeah, just get out of here!" "(Mike) For the next two weeks, you're gonna come here for..." "(Sunrise) Yeah, right." "(Mike) Sunrise, look at me." "For an hour and a half's detention after school, starting tomorrow." "Do you understand?" "Good." "Go home." "(Mike) She had a bit of a run-in with another girl, but we sorted it out and everything's fine, so don't worry, it's..." "Mike rescued me." "(Kasia) Really?" "Hmm." "Can I have a jam sandwich?" "Okay." "Go change out of your uniform first." "(groans)" "(clears throat)" "Here, I'll..." "I 'llgetthat." "(muttering) Butter..." "You know, it's kind of weird, isn't it, when you're in the middle of something, how things can be so, uh, confusing, you know?" "Unclear." "What are you talking about?" "No." "Whereas, you know, what I'm saying is, whereas with a bit of time and a bit of distance and perspective, things kind of..." "Look, whatever you want..." "Sorry?" "A house, a baby, whatever you want, I'll give you." "That's very kind of you, Mike." "That's what I'm saying." "It took me, I don't know, stepping away..." "(Kasia) To get a perspective." "Yes, and to realise that the things that you want, Kasia, the things that you want are, are the things that I want." "Mike, I'm with Archie now." "I'm sorry." "(Mike) You're with fucking Ar..." "Archie?" "(Kasia) Yes." "(Mike) As lovers?" "Well, what?" "Are you in love?" "Yes." "Well, I'm s..." "I 'msofucking..." "I'm happy for you." "I'm so fucking happy for you !" "(Skunk) Mike." "Mike?" "♫ When I'm really old, one day" "♫ One day, when I'm really old" "♫ And when my hair falls out" "♫ I'll stick it back with a spoon" "♫ Of the marmalade that you made" "Mike!" "(panting)" "(sighs)" "What the fuck?" "♫ When I'm really old, one day" "♫ One day, when I'm really old" "♫ We won't care who's winning" "♫ Our wrinkles will stretch to the moon" "♫ When I'm really old, one day... ♫" "(moaning)" "What the fuck?" "(Jed) Skunk." "(Skunk) What were you doing?" "(Jed) You know what." "(Skunk) Why?" "l don't know." "Why her?" "I don't know!" "Just promise you won't tell anyone." "All right. I just really..." "You haven't promised." "l promise." "I just don't understand why people would do that." "lt's what you do when you're in love." "You're in love?" "Well, I am. I don't know about her." "What if she's pregnant?" "She's not..." "Well, what if?" "Skunk!" "(Sunrise) Whose could it be?" "Simon Malloy's." "(Sunrise) Okay." "Jed Cunningham." "Dennis Woods." "Jed Cunningham?" "Yeah." "Ugh." "Who else?" "(Susan) A couple of guys, I can't remember their names." "Who's that one with the dreadlocks?" "Brian Williams." "He's gonna fucking kill me, Sunrise!" "Shut up!" "Just let me think." "(door closes)" "(sighs)" "(DC Carson) And when's the last time you saw Miss Oswald?" "Uh..." "LastTuesday." "Where?" "Outside the school." "Uh, she was attacking another child, so I had to..." "Sorry, did you say Sunrise?" "Sorry?" "Um, Sunrise Oswald?" "Susan." "What did we say?" "Susan." "Oh, right, sorry, 'cause I don't know Susan." "It was Sunrise who I reprimanded." "(DC Carson) You don't know her?" "No." "Well, I mean, I know her, she's in the school, but I've never had any contact with her." "(swallows)" "(DC Carson) I see." "Well, she claims you've been having an affair." "(laughs) What?" "Well, that's insane." "She's a child." "(DC Jenks) She's 1 4 years old, Mr Kiernan." "She's also pregnant." "Mr Kiernan?" "(teacher) Can I help you?" "Mr Kiernan?" "Yes." "(child screams)" "(grunts)" "lt's all right, don't worry." "Everybody, get out!" "(students screaming)" "(Mike grunts)" "Kids, out!" "(panting)" "(Skunk) Mike." "(groans)" "(Sunrise) They're coming, Dad !" "(gasps)" "(Bob) All right, all right, all right." "Now, you know I'll be back, yeah?" "You know I'll make sure everything's all right, yeah?" "l love you so fucking much." "Dad." "Oh, thanks, love." "And I love you so much, yeah?" "Give us a kiss." "Come here, come here." "Come here." "Oh, come on." "Let's do a big family fucking hug, yeah?" "(Sunrise) I love you, Dad." "l love you so much." "l love you, Dad. I love you." "l love you, I love you, I love you." "I love you, I love you, I love you." "I love you, I love you, I love you." "I love you, I love you." "(Sunrise) I love you, Dad." "Can you not cause a scene, all right?" "Saskia, no boys, all right?" "No parties." "Oh, fuck off." "(girls shouting)" "Fuck off, you cunt!" "(shouting indistinctly)" "Girls, get back inside." "Get the fuck out of here!" "I've a right to call a solicitor, don't I?" "(DC Jenks) Yes." "l'd like to do that now." "(knock on door)" "Sorry." "Uh..." "MrKiernan'ssolicitor'shere ." "So this is alleged?" "(DC Carson) Yes." "You haven't arrested my client?" "(DC Carson) For the moment, he's helping us with our inquiries." "Get your jacket on." "Wait a minute." "(Archie) No." "She's a liar." "(DC Jenks) What?" "(Archie) She's done this type of thing before." "Another man, another accusation, essentially of rape." "Another lie." "Look it up, Detective." "So you have a decision to make." "Either you release my client or..." "you arrest him." "And then we'll take this matter further as her story falls apart." "(Mike) Thank you." "You can thank Kasia." "She's the one that asked me to..." "(clears throat) Right." "Well, I don't really want to talk about that." "Oh." "Don't you?" "No." "(laughs) Why is that, Archie?" "is that because what you have is so fucking special it can't be articulated, huh?" "No, it's because it's none of your business." "Fuck you." "You know what?" "Fuck you." "The last thing I need beyond losing the woman that I love is to be obliged to the man who fucking stole her." "Well, I didn't steal her..." "Yeah, well, you fuck..." "And there's no obligation." "Oh, fuck off, Archie!" "Man, you couldn't be more fucking patronising if you tried." "(Skunk) Then what?" "(Archie) I don't know, love." "They'll probably give him some kind of DNA test." "Right." "Right." "You know what that is, do you?" "Yes." "No." "lt's a test" "that'll show he isn't the father." "But he isn't the father!" "We know that, love." "She's a liar." "Everyone knows she's done it with..." "lots of boys." "lt doesn't matter, Skunk." "Why not?" "Because they're boys." "Mike is an adult." "You understand?" "A teacher. ln this kind of situation, they have to be absolutely sure of his innocence." "(doorbell ringing)" "And until they are, they just can't allow him to work with children." "So he's not coming back?" "(Archie) Not at the moment, no." "Sorry, love." "Skunk, it's your boyfriend." "Birmingham?" "But I thought..." "I thoughtyouand me were gonna go to Florida" "and see... seethelizardsandstuff ." "Yeah, I know, but..." "That was when we were older." "Why not now, though?" "Because my aunt says I have to go to Birmingham, Skunk." "What am I gonna do without you?" "Here." "(sighs)" "Will you take this?" "Why should I?" "To remember me by." "When do you go?" "Tomorrow." "Early." "So I'm not gonna get to see you again." "How long did you know that?" "How long did you know, Dillon?" "!" "Skunk." "You're only telling me now!" "Why haven't you told me?" "!" "Skunk, stop." "You're an arsehole, Dillon." "I wanted to tell you, but I was afraid to." "Please don't hate me." "You're leaving me, Dillon." "'Course I hate you." "I'll always hate you !" "(Mrs Buckley) Oh, it's lopsided." "(Mr BuckIey) It's okay." "(Mrs Buckley) No, it's not." "(Mr BuckIey) It's fine." "Fine?" "Well, I wanted it to be perfect." "is it edible?" "Well, of course it is." "Dave!" "Well, the message is..." "is clear enough." "That's all you want really, isn't it?" "Yeah, well..." "I suppose." "Well, I'd better go." "Hmm." "He'll love it, Janet." "Hmm." "(♫ drum and bass) -(overlapping chatter)" "Fuck off." "Oi !" "(doorbell ringing)" "Fuck off." "is anyone gonna get that?" "Saskia." "(Saskia) You get it." "(ringing continues)" "(Girl) Saskia." "Saskia!" "Yeah?" "All right?" "Can I ask you something?" "What is it?" "Um..." "I just wanted you to know that, if you wanted me to, I'd be the daddy." "The what?" "The... thedad." "Uh..." "Ofthebaby." "T-Take responsibility for it." "You and me, we could get married." "Jesus Christ." "Are you being serious?" "Yeah." "Jed, we're having a party in here, all right?" "Just don't call over again." "But..." "(Archie) Skunk?" "Are you okay?" "(Skunk) Why didn't you tell me and Jed about you and Kasia?" "(Archie) I'm sorry." "l was trying to find the right moment." "Are you gonna marry her?" "l don't know." "Kasia, I know you're there!" "Are you?" "l don't know, love." "Because she'll leave us, Dad, the way she left Mike." "Like Mum left us." "Like everyone does." "No, I won't." "Yes, you will !" "Don't lie." "It'll all go wrong, Dad." "Everything always goes wrong." "Why do only bad things happen?" "Good things happen." "Like what, your sex with Kasia?" "Skunk, listen." "What about me or Jed or Rick or Mike?" "What about Mike, Kasia?" "Skunk, you need to stop." "I don't want to talk to either of you." "Just get out!" "It's my room !" "So let's, as much as we can, confine things to the home for the weekend, okay?" "Yes." "Just to be safe this first time out." "Thank you, Doctor." "Yes." "Not at all." "Best of luck, Rick." "Thank you." "Have a great weekend." "(♫ dubstep)" "Susan." "Susan." "Susan?" "Oh, my God." "Oh, my God." "Susan." "Susan !" "There's blood everywhere." "Why is there blood everywhere?" "(Sunrise) Call an ambulance!" "Call an ambulance!" "Susan !" "Call a fucking ambulance!" "What's the fucking number?" "999, you twat!" "(Mr BuckIey) I wonder if she means we can't have a kick-about." "(laughs) Hmm." "Wouldn't mind a bit of a kick-about, eh, Rick?" "I think I'd rather stay inside, Dad." "Oh, well, yes, you're probably right." "Best to..." "Bestto playbythebook." "Oh, Mum's made a cake that's..." "It's..." "It'sabit lopsided." "Just, uh, thought I should warn you. (chuckles)" "(police chatter on radio)" "Well, what's going on here?" "Nothing changes. (sighs)" "Well, we won't let it bother us, huh?" "Hello, my baby." "Hello." "(Mr Buckley) What's..." "What'shappening?" "(Mrs Buckley) Oh, just don't pay any attention." "Um..." "Whatareyou doing?" "(Mr Buckley) Well, I've got to..." "I forgot the milk, so just put the kettle on, I won't be long." "Why isn't she talking?" "Let's just get her in the ambulance." "(Saskia) She's not even moving." "(paramedic) Move out the way, please." "(Saskia) Just hurry up and get her in there." "(Sunrise) Just tell them." "(Mrs Buckley) Rick." "Come on, Rick." "Just..." "Justcomeinside." "There's nothing going on there that's of any interest." "Come on." "You getting a good look, are you?" "Right, let's go in." "Let's go in." "(Saskia) Pervert!" "Rick, come on..." "It's 'cause of fucking scum like you that this is happening." "(Mrs Buckley) Just go inside." "You sicko!" "Go on, just piss off inside, you fucking pervert!" "Fucking evil bastard !" "(Saskia) You sick..." "Cup of tea, love?" "Hmm?" "Where are you going?" "To..." "Tomy room." "But..." "Just..." "Justforalittle..." "But I made you a cake, love." "l'll have some later, Mum." "But you just got here." "Rick, please don't go to your room." "Please, don't." "Don't mind what those people say." "Please, don't." "But they're right." "They're right." "No, they're not right." "They could not be more wrong." "Rick, you are kind and you are good !" "They're right!" "You are so good." "No, they're right, Mum !" "No, stop it!" "Come back, Rick!" "Don't go to your room !" "Don't go, Rick!" "Oh, hello, sir." "Your change, please." "Oh, sorry." "Miles away." "Thanks very much." "Thank you." "Good night." "(Mr Buckley) Good night." "(door opening)" "(door closes)" "(Mr BuckIey) Janet?" "Janet?" "Oh, Christ." "Jesus Christ." "I'm sorry, Dad." "Rick?" "What did you do?" "l'm sorry. I'm sorry." "What did you do?" "I need to call someone." "lt's gonna be all right." "They'll say I'm bad." "No, no, no." "They'll say that I'm bad like before." "They have to come and look after your mother." "You don't have to tell them." "It's all right, Rick." "You'll be all right." "Everything's fine." "(dialling)" "You don't have to tell them." "You don't have to tell them, Dad !" "(policeman) Mr Oswald?" "(door opens)" "Hi, Rick." "(door closes)" "(man sobbing)" "(no audio)" "(sobbing continues)" "(no audio)" "(Bob sobs) I'm sorry." "I'm sorry." "(Archie) I'm gonna kill her." "Maybe..." "Maybe what?" "Maybe what?" "She knows she can't come and go as she pleases." "Call her again." "She knows that from the last time." "Skunk." "Yeah, it's Dad." "Yeah, listen, love, I'm really, really, really worried, so could you call me, please, darling?" "All right. lt's Dad." "Where are you going?" "l'm going to look for her." "Dad." "What?" "I think I might know where she is." "(door slams)" "(mobile ringing)" "Archie!" "(Mike) I'm sorry to ring so late." "Mike." "(Archie) And you come here to..." "(Jed) Just hang out." "Whose are the cigarettes?" "They're not mine." "Can I just..." "CanItalktoyou?" "This really isn't a good time." "It's not gonna take long." "please?" "Okay." "(Mike) I just wanted to ring this once, just to say, I don't know..." "Just to say sorry." "All right." "You know, thank you for today and for, you know, for helping me out," "and for Archie, too..." "Okay." "Listen, I was really rude to him and I didn't mean to be." "He's really a decent guy." "And I wish you the very best." "AII right." "And I..." "Will you do one thing for me?" "(policeman) Kids, they wander in..." "(Mike) will you just apologise to Skunk for me?" "We've spoken to her friends." "We've spoken to all of her friends." "(Mike) For all the embarrassing shit" "that she's had to witness." "(Archie) No." "So my daughter... (Kasia) Okay, Mike." "... hasType1diabetes, do you understand?" "She has Type 1 diabetes!" "'Cause she's a terrific kid." "(Archie) So without..." "lf she doesn't stay monitored..." "Okay, now just..." "No!" "She could die!" "Dad !" "Do you understand me?" "!" "(Mike) You know, and someday she's just gonna blow us all away." "Do you reckon..." "She's..." "Kasia, someday she's just gonna blow us all away." "(sobbing)" "(Mike) Anyway, that's all I have to say." "Yeah, you have a good life, yeah?" "(Kasia) You too, Mike." "(breathing heavily)" "(both breathing loudly)" "(shuddering)" "(door opens)" "Hi, Rick." "(Skunk moans softly)" "Don't be scared." "Don't be scared." "I just want your goodness." "(sobbing) I just want your goodness." "(whimpers) I just want your goodness." "I just want your goodness." "(shuddering)" "(Rick sniffling)" "(sobbing) Shh..." "Stop it, please." "Stop it." "You have to stop it." "Please stop it." "Stop it." "(sobbing)" "No!" "No..." "No, no, no, no!" "No, no, no!" "Please!" "(Sunrise) Did Dad come home?" "(Saskia) No." "(Sunrise) Where is he?" "(Saskia) Don't know." "(sighs)" "Jesus Christ." "(thumping)" "Rick?" "(loud thumping)" "(mumbling)" "Yeah, hello, hello." "Can I get an ambulance, please?" "Archie!" "It's in, uh..." "Archie!" "Uh, six... 1 3 DrummondClose." "I don't fucking know." "Just..." "Archie!" "What?" "I don't fucking know!" "Some people have been stabbed as well." "Please!" "Yes!" "Thank you." "All right." "(roars) Archie!" "Archie!" "Come on, darling." "Your daddy's coming." "Your daddy's coming." "You're all right." "You're all right." "Sweetheart, sweetheart, sweetheart." "Daddy's coming." "(no audio)" "Rick." "Where's my dad?" "(Archie) And there were different times in her life." "Different moments." "Some of them were sad, but most of them were happy." "And the woman was you." "And she was stunning." "And, um..." "(Rick) Are you ready?" "What's it like there?" "(Archie) Then your mum woke me up and she said," ""Archie, she's here."" "Christ." "You're my..." "You're my girl." "Come back, Skunk." "Please." "Shall we go?" "(hushed) Okay." "(Archie whispers) Skunk." "I'll be back in a minute." "Why won't you say goodbye?" "Please, Dad, just..." "just say goodbye." "(Rick) Skunk?" "Please." "(sobbing)" "(exhales)" "(baby murmurs)" "♫ blue is where I want to be" "♫ When I'm down I'm in the sea" "♫ Looking up at monsters in the clouds" "♫ Red's the colour when you're dead" "♫ lf you find me gone, I'm just in bed" "♫ Reading up on fairy tales instead" "♫ Now I know so many things" "♫ Got feet and I got wings" "♫ To carry me back home" "♫ To my house just made of bricks" "♫ Well that's just such a fix" "♫ To ever hold me down" "♫ White is what I was to start" "♫ Broken by my open heart" "♫ Falling down and falling up again" "♫ Black is white the other way" "♫ Paradise is in the grey" "♫ All my colours mixing up again" "♫ Now I know so many things" "♫ Got feet and I got wings" "♫ To carry me back home" "♫ To my house just made of bricks" "♫ Well, that's just such a fix" "♫ To ever hold me down" "(scatting)" "♫ Now I know so many things" "♫ Got feet and I got wings" "♫ To carry me back home" "♫ To my house just made of bricks" "♫ Well, that's just such a fix" "♫ To ever hold me down ♫" "Subtitling:" "Deluxe Digital Studios"

"Previously on "the vampire diaries"..." "I'm Elena." "I'm Stefan." "Love brought me to Mystic Falls, love drove me away." "I am not sorry that I'm in love with you, Damon." "Raverus un animun." "We've all made sacrifices." "Bonnie, what did you do?" "I did a spell that brought you back." "You can see ghosts." "We can talk." "No!" "You can't be dead!" "Party at Whitmore house tonight." "And even though we're trying to move on..." "I love college." "Hey!" "Who are you?" "I'm Megan, your roommate." "Please help me!" "Oh, my God!" "This was a vampire." "New enemies have emerged..." "Nadia?" "Jaryakat a zem." "Just as our greatest threat..." "Silas." "Hello, my shadow self." "Is finally making his move." "Where's Stefan?" "Bring me Katherine, and then I will tell you where your little brother is." "You can't take me back there, Jeremy." "You all know Elena Gilbert." "Well, the girl that I'm looking for looks exactly like her." "It was supposed to be a nice family event." "Just stopped in to see my dad." "Then Silas showed up." "He said he was testing how powerful his mind control had become." "Nobody make a sound or move a muscle." "The entire town did exactly what he said." "Aah!" "Aah!" "He didn't want any witnesses, so he told them to forget what he did." "They watched my dad die, and they couldn't do anything or tell anyone" "what are you gonna do?" "You gonna hug me?" "I want to." "But you can't." "You can't touch me, and I can't touch you because I'm dead" "just like my dad except he's not supernatural, so I don't get to see him on the other side." "He's just dead." "Silas is using his mind control to find Katherine." "He told everyone in the town square to keep an eye out for anyone that looks like Elena." "Whatever he wants with Katherine..." "We can't let him have it." "You ok, hon?" "You're gonna get yourself sick out here." "Thank you so much for stopping." "You ok just like Elena Gilbert." "Actually, I'm much prettier." "Katherine Pierce, right?" "I'm supposed to be keeping my eye out for you." "Aah!" "Ohh." "Aah!" "Errr!" "Ugh." "Damn it!" "Unh!" "Hurts, doesn't it?" "Not as much as this will." "♪The Vampire Diaries 5x02 ♪ True Lies Original Air Date on October 10, 2013" "== sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man" "We could be doing anything right now, Stefan, be anywhere." "Why here, why this?" "These are the good moments, the simple ones, the ones that matter." "These are the moments that keep me from falling apart." "This can't last forever." "You're just distracting yourself." "Elena, Elena, Elena." "Elena!" "No." "Megan's memorial outside is growing by the minute." "Ugh." "College kids are so dramatic." "She was on campus for, like, one day." "She couldn't have made that many friends." "Caroline, she's dead." "You can stop competing with her." "Sorry." "I'm in a mood." "You talked to Tyler?" "He's deferring from enrolling and deferring from returning my phone calls, so I'm deferring from having sex with him ever again." "How's the snooping going?" "Any explanation why our Vervain-laced..." "Vampire-slaughtered roommate had a picture of my dad on her phone?" "No." "Oh!" "I went by the hospital this morning." "Megan's death certificate." "It says she died of suicide." "No mention of the gaping vampire bites on her neck." "So whoever signed off on the cause of death was part of the cover-up just like the Founders Council back home." "Dr. Wesley Maxfield." "AKA our applied microbiology T.A." "I switched our classes around so that we can-- applied what--what?" "Uh, Elena, we are supposed to be taking intro to communication." "What happened to getting drunk and making bad decisions about boys?" "What happened to our fun freshman year at college?" "I am supposed to be a drama major!" "You're not going to be an anything major if we get exposed as vampires!" "We are still gonna have our fun year, Caroline, but we have to protect ourselves." "The way Damon kept his secret in Mystic Falls was because he infiltrated the Founders Council." "So bust out those alleged acting skills, and let's get on it, ok?" "Damon, I know I said I'd help you find your brother, but I can't dredge the entire quarry." "It's enormous." "I'm aware of that." "I mean, clearly that's why we wanted to dump" "Silas' body here because it's big and deep and no one would find him." "Now say I'm Silas and I want to take over my doppelganger's life, why wouldn't I dump him in a place that's big and deep where no one would find him?" "Damon, I already agreed to hold off on telling anyone about the mayor's death until you figure this all out, but I can't devote those kinds of resources to finding one person who may or may not be down there." "But it's a place to start, and if Stefan's down there, it means he's been drowning over and over again all summer while I've been happily playing house with Elena." "Do I need to further elaborate the source of my urgency?" "I'll get some deputies on it." "Thank you, Liz." "Please tell me you found her." "I didn't, but Matt did." "Huh." "How shockingly useful." "Those blue eyes, they made me soft." "I should have ripped your head off when I had the chance." "She was mid cat fight with some lady who maced her." "We think Silas might have mind-controlled himself some new friends." "How exactly did the Gilbert and Donovan brain trust put all that together?" "Never mind." "Doesn't matter." "Just hide her." "If Silas wants her bad enough, to sic the whole town on her, that means we want her more." "Stay out of sight." "You're the last person Silas saw her with." "Are these ropes really necessary?" "Bullet would have been more effective, but we're trying to be nice." "You crashed my car and left me to die." "You were gonna hand me over to Silas to get Stefan back." "I was just protecting myself." "How many people you killed using that excuse?" "Just be glad we got you some clothes." "Don't play the hero." "You two are just waiting for the convenient time to hand me back over to him." "I've done this a thousand times." "I get it." "I'm the leverage." "I'm that thing that everybody wants." "I'm the freaking Moonstone." "Hey." "Blow-off girl." "Aren't you a freshman?" "How are you in this class?" "What?" "Um, I love applied..." "Micro..." "Biology." "It's like my favorite biology." "You know, little things are just so cute!" "Are you going to the bonfire tonight, or are you just gonna get really close and then turn around and leave again?" "She'll be there." "Sweet." "We'll hang." "What?" "You said you wanted to make bad decisions about boys." "He's cute, he's interested, and most importantly, unlike Tyler, he's here." "Morning, everyone." "I'm Dr. Maxfield." "First name is Wes, but call me Dr. Maxfield." "One day when you're out of med school, you'll understand." "So you're all going to this bonfire tonight, right?" "Well, here's a quick history lesson for you." "Whitmore was founded as a hospital during the Civil War, deadliest war in American history, over 600,000 casualties." "Disease was so prevalent that once a week they had to gather all the dead, rotting bodies, put them in a pile, and light the whole thing on fire." "So tonight when you're getting drunk and partying, stop for a second, close your eyes, and imagine the rancid smell of a hundred rotting corpses." "Creep-y." "Which brings us to microbiology..." "But hott-ie." "Because that rancid smell comes from a very specific bacteria." "He is." "Isn't that right, chatty girls in the back?" "And what is that bacteria?" "Uh, that's the, uh-- um, I don't know." "Maybe because you're freshmen who shouldn't be in this class." "How do I know?" "I'm observant, a skill you'll learn in Bio 101 down the hall." "It was mortifying." "We just sat there in silence." "You want me to beat him up?" "Not yet." "Whatever he knows," "I'm gonna get it out of him." "Did you compel him?" "No, because chances are if he knows about vampires, then he also knows about Vervain." "How about violence?" "Did you threaten him?" "No." "I didn't threaten him." "At least tell you you used torture." "Damon!" "You do realize that you are dating a reformed serial killer, right?" "What would a hero do?" "Pfft." "That I have no idea." "Stefan?" "I don't know." "Probably mope at him." "Stefan's here right now." "What?" "Turn off your phone." "Elena?" "Whoa, whoa." "That is not s" "I know you're upset that I didn't call, so I just wanted to apologize in person." "Never do that again, ok?" "I thought something terrible happened to you." "Well, something terrible did happen to me." "You fell in love with my brother." "Ouch." "Can't blame me for needing a little bit of space." "I know." "Where did you go?" "It's not important." "I'm sure Damon will fill you in eventually." "You talked to Damon?" "Because I just spoke to him, and he didn't really say anything." "Oh." "Weird." "Maybe he has his hands full with the whole, you know, Jeremy situation." "What Jeremy situation?" "Oh, it's not a big deal." "Jeremy got expelled." "Expelled?" "Yeah, and then he and Damon got in this fight, and then Jeremy bolted." "Wait." "How do I not know about this?" "Where the hell is Jeremy?" "That's why I'm here." "I was hoping maybe you'd know." "Oh, thank God we're stopping." "If I can only get out of the car." "Well, you can't because as soon as we get gas, we're getting back on the road." "Ohh." "But I'm dying back here." "You're not getting out of the car because you want an aspirin." "Then maybe I can get out of the car because I need to pee, like, in a bathroom like a lady." "Hurry." "My throat is really scratchy, and my head hurts, like, right here." "When I cough, it's green." "So get me stuff for all that." "Silas knows I'm with you." "Sorry." "I can't risk being seen." "Please." "Fine." "Just this." "Is that Elena Gilbert or Katherine Pierce?" "Jeremy, Katherine!" "Stop running." "Damon!" "Towel!" "Knock!" "Caroline, no one cares." "No." "Hey." "Where's Elena?" "I don't know." "She probably went to the bonfire to get more intel our weirdo professor." "Silas is here." "He's with Elena, pretending to be Stefan." "Get dressed." "I thought that Stefan dropped his body in the quarry." "Join the club." "Get dressed." "Oh, my God." "Oh, my God." "Elena was right." "All summer, she's had this pit in her stomach about Stefan." "What?" "I don't know." "She just said that she had this weird feeling that something was wrong with him." "Put some clothes on." "Meet me out there." "We have to find her." "Jeremy's still not answering." "I'm gonna hold on to your phone in case he calls back." "Why are you so worried about him?" "Damon made a mess, and I want to clean it up." "Did he really think that I wasn't gonna find out?" "It's Damon." "Are you surprised?" "I just figured we were at a place where he wouldn't have to lie to me." "Sorry." "I, uh..." "I probably shouldn't be talking about this with you." "It's ok." "I know exactly what you're thinking." "Sorry." "I don't mean to cut this short, but someone said they just saw Jeremy on Route 9." "Do you know where he might be going?" "Route 9?" "I mean, there was this old camp site that we used to go to when we were kids." "Ah." "Wait." "Who texted you?" "Hello, brother." "But I suppose distant nephew is probably more accurate." "Where the hell's Elena?" "Ohh." "There's no need for violence, Damon." "You'll find her eventually." "There you go." "Look." "I get why you like her." "I mean, I have a soft spot for brunettes, too." "What I don't get is why she likes you." "It's because you haven't had sex with me." "Cockiness masking fear." "How transparent." "You expect me to believe you came all this way just to talk to her?" "No." "That doesn't really make much sense, does it, but if I told you exactly what I did, then it would ruin the fun." "Enjoy the bonfire, Damon." "Why would Silas want to hurt her?" "Because he wants to hurt me." "You know, if you just would have told the truth, all of this could have been avoided." "Gee." "Thanks, Caroline." "Your hindsight is invaluable in this situation." "Watch where you're going, douche." "Have you see Elena Gilbert?" "I have no idea who that is, and if I were her, I'd probably run from you, too." "Wrong answer." "Forget all this and get out of here." "You have to calm down." "He turned the entire town square into a hunting party for Katherine." "How am I supposed to calm down when every single person here could be working for Silas?" "I got that." "Whoa." "I..." "Boyfriend drama." "Wow." "Boyfriend drama, kicked out of class." "Today's not your day." "What is his deal anyway?" "Dr. Dickfield?" "Yeah, him." "Tell you what." "Help me grab some more firewood, and I will tell you everything you need to know." "Ok." "I had Dr. Maxfield for a few classes last year." "He's a jerk, but he's brilliant, so I'll give him a pass." "Brilliant and creepy." "There's a rumor that he's a part of this secret society on campus." "What, like middle-aged men at an Elk lodge?" "I have no idea." "All I know is that a few times a week they supposedly meet at Whitmore house, but you didn't hear that from me." "Damon?" "What the hell?" "Seriously?" "That's Jesse!" "I kind of liked him." "Don't even think about it." "Please." "I wouldn't even know how to use it." "I've never shot a gun in my life." "Didn't need to." "I was much more deadly." "Key word--"was."" "I'm gonna go get some wood for the fire." "I'll be back." "I survived childbirth, the death of my entire family, and 500 years of running from an immortal hybrid." "You can understand why I'm a little upset that I am on the verge of being defeated by a sinus infection." "Not a word out of you." "You can't talk, you can't scream." "Yeah." "Actually, I can." "Jeremy, run!" "Why can't I get inside your head?" "Jaryakat a zem." "Daryeet acza." "Now I see why." "Somebody's already in there." "Why are you watching me, Traveler?" "Odpovezete mi!" "Jeremy?" "Jeremy, hey." "There you are, man." "What" "what the hell?" "Freaky, isn't it, that feeling, the void, the emptiness?" "Bonnie, what's going on?" "Where the hell am I?" "The other side." "Gilbert ring brought you here when you died." "That's how it works." "Temporarily brings your spirit here." "To go back, you have to reconnect to your body." "My body's not even here." "It's because each time you die you wake up farther and farther away from it, and you wander the other side until you find it." "Wait." "If I'm on the other side, how can you see me?" "There's something you should know." "All right." "Before you get mad-- mad can wait." "Sit." "Elena..." "Wait." "Wait." "As much as I'd like to do this right now..." "Silas got into your head, didn't he?" "What did Stefan tell you to do?" "Get you alone, weaken you..." "And then kill you." "Aah!" "Aah!" "Damon, I'm so sorry." "I..." "What the hell is happening?" "You're in some sort of Silas trance, but I think you snapped out of it." "Silas?" "But I-- before you ask, no." "He's not in the quarry." "It's a common misconception." "You talked to him today." "How is that possible?" "I--I was in a crowd full of people." "I hugged him." "I was talking to him about my life and about" "Me?" "I bet he had some choice things to say." "Wait." "If that was Silas, then where's Stefan?" "What happened to Stefan, Damon?" "Where is he?" "Can you talk about this when you don't have that murdery look in your eyes?" "You're right." "Every time I look at you, all I want to do is kill you." "It must be Silas' mind control." "He's using your anger at me like a trigger." "You have to resist it." "I can't!" "Elena, you have to resist it." "I'm trying!" "Aah!" "Unh!" "Tell me what's going on." "Sorry." "This was all I could find out there." "Sorry my friend went aggro." "He's got anger issues." "And a serious right hook." "Yeah." "But, hey, it got us alone together, so that's a win." "I have a boyfriend." "And where is he other than not here?" "Well, he's supposed to be here." "He deferred a semester." "You don't have to say anything." "I know how these things go." "People go to school, and they drift apart." "Yeah, and sometimes, they don't." "Exactly." "Sometimes, they don't." "And sometimes, you change, but what you had still means something." "Yes, yes!" "And sometimes when you're thinking all those things, your girlfriend is moving on and sleeping with somebody back home and has no intention of getting back with you." "Oh, my God." "Ugh." "I'm so sorry." "It was a while ago, and honestly until the worst actually happened," "I wouldn't listen to anybody tell me otherwise." "I could always find an excuse, so I get it." "Get in the truck and drive." "Where are you going?" "I can't leave Matt." "Uh, wai--huh." "How do you think" "I survived 500 years?" "It wasn't because I was a vampire." "It's because I never looked back." "Don't be dumb." "Survive." "That's why people treat you like an object and not like a person." "It actually hasn't been so bad." "I have Jeremy, and I see grams sometimes." "Last night with my dad was the first really hard time." "I'll be ok." "I just have to get past these next few days." "Bonnie, you don't have to pretend like it's ok." "Your dad died, and..." "You died." "It's not ok." "It has to be because there's nothing I can do about it." "I am so sorry." "Matt!" "Now if my best friend died," "I'd at least pretend to cry, which leads me to believe that he's not really dead." "I take it that tacky ring somehow protects him." "Too bad you can't get inside my head to find out for sure." "Hunter's perk." "Heh." "See, that's what you don't get." "When I can read your mind," "I at least have use for you." "Now I'm just gonna kill you." "You can try, but none of your abilities work on me, so right now, you're nothing-- slower than a vampire, weaker than a vampire." "I on the other hand am a hunter." "Plus I work out." "Unh!" "You might be stronger than me, but you're forgetting that I am immortal." "Unh!" "I thought you said you didn't know how to use that." "I figured it out." "Poor Bonnie." "She must have tried to call me right after Silas stole my phone." "Has anyone talked to her?" "Is she ok?" "I don't know." "I've had more important things to worry about." "My best friend's dad died." "That's pretty damn important." "Yeah?" "Well, so is protecting your brother, finding mine, and figuring out what the hell" "Silas wants with Katherine." "I just left." "What the hell is wrong with you?" "You're getting angry at me again, Elena." "Remember, trigger." "My brother got expelled!" "You've got him playing white knight to Katherine, who's tried to kill me..." "Repeatedly." "Stefan's been-- he's been suffering for months while I've been rolling around with you, a self-proclaimed serial killer." "Oh, my God." "Oh, my God!" "Elena, that is the gas." "Stop." "You don't really want to kill me, Elena." "You have to realize this before you're gonna break Silas' compulsion." "I can't, ok?" "All I can think about is killing you!" "Well, you're gonna have to think about something stronger than your desire to kill me, or you're gonna kill us both." "Stefan." "Stefan." "Think about Stefan." "Caroline told me you'd been worried about him, that you had a pit in your stomach." "Describe it, tell me about it." "What?" "No." "I can't." "Think about him." "Think about the feelings you're getting." "Describe it to me." "It's a..." "It's a chill." "I can't explain it, but it's like I can feel him." "He's trying to reach out to me, but I don't know where he is, and I can't understand what he's trying to say." "All I know is that he's scared, and he's lonely, and he's in a lot of pain." "He's in a lot of pain." "We have to find him." "We will." "I swear." "The rage, it's gone." "I think we need to set some ground rules for when boyfriends come to visit." "I think somebody moved my body." "It's weird, but I can feel it." "It's like I'm drawn to it." "There it is." "So if this happens every time I die with the Gilbert ring, the second I go back, that means I'm just gonna forget about all of this." "I'll forget that you're dead." "Bonnie, you and Jeremy can't keep this a secret anymore." "I'm sorry your dad died." "I know it's hard, but how are you gonna deal with his death if you can't even deal with your own?" "It's really good to see you, Matt." "Welcome back to the land of the living." "What the hell happened?" "Yeah." "Silas killed you, tried to kill me, then" "I shot him." "So we're even." "No more whining." "Let's go." "Silas won't be down for long." "Hey." "I left the hatchet." "I'll be right back." "Hey." "You ok?" "I'm not ready to be dead yet, Jeremy." "I'm just not." "Maybe I will be one day, but it's not today, and I don't know what to do about my dad or what to do when the sheriff calls because she's gonna call me-- it's ok." "We'll get through this." "I can tell everybody that you're with family, that it was too hard for you to be here." "I might not be able to touch you or hold you, but I'm here for you no matter what you need." "Did you find that girl that you were looking for?" "Yes, I did, and then she shot me, so I'm a little bit angry, and I'm a little bit hungry, but luckily, you can help me out with one of those things." "Fill her up." "Oh, goody." "Gypsies are here." "Oh, I'm sorry." "You call yourselves travelers now, right?" "It's much more P.C." "You can call me whatever you want when I'm gutting you." "I see." "You're mad that I killed your blond-haired, blue-eyed host, right?" "That's what you get for taking over somebody's body to spy on me, but congrats." "You found me, so now what?" "What do you want?" "You back in that tomb, sealed away for eternity." "That's what the travelers have always wanted." "Luckily for you, I've never really considered myself one." "I know you can see inside my mind, and I have my own agenda." "Yes." "I see that you do." "I'll be back, roomie." "I don't know when, but I will be back." "Just call me the minute you hear from Bonnie, ok?" "I've left her, like, a hundred messages." "You're gonna find him, Elena." "Yeah, I know." "Bye." "Bye." "I didn't think Elena Gilbert would give up so easily." "Sorry about being a hard ass earlier." "It's kind of my thing." "You're Grayson Gilbert's daughter, aren't you?" "You knew my dad?" "Knew of him." "He's a legend around here." "Brilliant." "I've studied all his research." "I can only hope to do the kind of work he did." "So does that mean that he forged death certificates, too?" "And here I thought you were just passionate about microbiology." "I have office hours tomorrow." "Come by." "We can chat." "Um, yeah, I would, but I've got other important things on my plate right now." "Let me know when that plate clears." "Well, I guess that's how a hero would do it." "Honesty." "Who'd have thunk it?" "Aren't you the least bit curious about the whole" ""Nancy Drew and the creepster Professor" thing?" "Caroline will take over." "I can't stay here knowing that Stefan's out there somewhere." "Yeah." "Well..." "That's Stefan's daylight ring." "Snagged it from Silas yesterday, and for the record, I am secure enough in our relationship that you having psychic dreams about your ex-boyfriend does not bother me..." "But it still sucks." "I love you." "We're gonna save Stefan, and I'm still gonna love you, ok?" "Yeah?" "We found something." "We didn't find anything in the quarry, but a deputy found this a few miles away." "We didn't open it." "Looks like it's been in there for 3 months." "Chances are he's hungry." "Oh, my God." "That's not Stefan." "You're right." "He was hungry." "Bet he still is." "== sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man"

"MAN ON RADIO:" "...gaming and tourism has been cold for the entire month of December while temperatures are nearing record highs... (CLATTERING)" "(UPBEAT BLUES MUSIC PLAYING)" "WOMAN:" "A diet Pepsi, please." "Thank you." "I'm sorry." "I'm sorry." "The roulette pit was a zoo tonight." "Two Haitians got drunk, one of them tried to urinate on me..." "Let's get out of here." "Doris, I just arrived." "I picked this place 'cause it's deserted, you know?" "We can think." "This is our future we're talkin' about now." "Sweetheart, I don't mean to pressure you, but the Caesars people have offered me a roulette pit of my own in Atlantic City." "That's a big break." "And tomorrow's my deadline for telling them yes or no, so you got to tell me tonight." "Will you come with me?" "That's not what you mean when you say, "Come with me."" "You mean, "Come live with me, then love me, then marry me."" "Yes, and have children." "Is that so awful?" "Come on, Osgood, I've been married three times." "I suck at it." "You just haven't found..." "MAN:" "Let's dance." "You and me, just you and me." "Come on." "I don't want to dance." "We're talking here." "All right?" " Let's go, come on." " Hey, hey!" "Excuse me!" "Let go!" "Let go!" "Look, buddy, I don't think you want to make me mad." "I don't care what games you two want to play..." "That's twice now you've touched her." "Don't do it again!" "I won't touch her again until she asks me." "I got one question." "Is it all right if I touch you?" "Ay, Osgood!" "Oh, dear, look at that... (LAUGHING)" "I fuckin' knew it." "Give me that!" "Give me that!" " Hey!" " All you got to do is come and get it." "It's mine and I want it." "God damn it, be careful with that!" "Come on, let's go." "Take me out of here." "That cost a lot of money, I had it made special." "Fuck the money, Osgood!" "Osgood?" "No one's got a fuckin' name like Osgood." " Jesus." " Son of a bitch." "(LAUGHING)" "Come on." "Let's go, I'm scared." "Who the fuck's got a name like Osgood?" "You don't have to be scared." "I can't help it." "That guy..." " I could've handled him." " You don't want this?" "DORIS:" "I know." "Is it house trained?" "God damn it!" "I try to behave like a gentleman, Doris." "I really do, you know, but there's an animal side to everybody." "You think less of me, don't you?" "For walking out." "Please, how can you even say that?" "I was the one who dragged you out of there." "I say that 'cause I think it's the truth." "Osgood." "No, no, no!" "Walk me to the car, please." "Come back!" "Come over here, mate." "I brought your hamster back!" "Ozzie, wozzie, wozzie." "Osgood." "God damn it!" "That's enough!" "Hey, look, I don't want this no more." "I wouldn't know what to feed it." "(LAUGHING)" "DORIS:" "Osgood, come back!" "Osgood, please!" "Oops." "Move back." "Move back, why?" "Safety precaution, let's say." "I don't need no tricks to deal with a pee-wee shrimp fag like you." "All I need is my hands." "(BOTH GRUNTING)" "(GROANING)" " Osgood..." " Shut up!" "But I..." "Close your goddamn mouth, Doris." "No one is leaving till it's over, and it isn't over till you say it is." "It's over." "Help me up, okay?" "You know what you are, pal?" "You're a coward, and your breath stinks!" "No, no, I'm a mess." "I'm a mess." "You're my own little hero." "(MELANCHOLY CHRISTMAS MUSIC PLAYING)" "ORDERLY:" "Coming through, coming through!" "DOCTOR:" "Drew, what happened?" "Found her in the parking lot." "She's in and out." "Stand clear." "FEMALE ORDERLY:" "Can you tell me your name?" "(BREATHING HEAVILY) Nick..." "DOCTOR:" "Do you have any allergies?" "Tell me who did this to you." "Who did this to you?" "Sweetheart, can you tell me who did this to you?" "Nick..." "Nick..." "Nick." "(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION OUTSIDE)" "(ENGINE STARTS)" "PINKY:" "Well, I never thought you'd make it in, huh?" "Isn't this the 5,000th morning in the Athens of America?" "Five fuckin' thousandth morning." "How you surviving'?" " Eh, you know." " (TOY SQUEAKS)" " Nut mail?" " It looks like it." "I'm not up to it, Pinky." "Read it to me." "All right." "Let the games begin." "How about..." "A-ha." ""Mr. Wild, how can I become a mercenary like you?" ""If someone were hypothetically interested in creating a small explosion," ""how would one hypothetically research such a thing" ""without leaving a computer trail?" "Thanks." ""PS." "This is research for a hypothetical screenplay."" "Hypothetically, I wouldn't answer this guy." "Great advice, Pinky." "(CHUCKLING)" "(DOOR BUZZING)" "Oh, good morning." "Pinchus Zion, attorney at law." "How can I help you?" "Cyrus Kinnick, looking for a Nick Wild." "He's right behind you." "Nick?" "This is Cyrus Kinnick." "Thank you." "Hello, Mr. Wild." "I was thinking of hitting the casino tonight." "I wish I could help you, pal." "You got to be 21." "They'll lose their license." "I'm 23 years old, but my youthful appearance is one of the reasons why I believe I need a bodyguard." "May I be frank?" "Grab a seat." "I looked you up on an online guide to Vegas, but you weren't in it." "That bothers me." "See, I'm a considerable gambler, if that isn't being too boastful and safety means much to me." "I checked under every synonym for safety, but there was no Nick Wild." "Well, you should've tried between "chapels" and "charm schools."" "I don't want to be too boastful either, Mr. Kinnick, but you're talking to the only chaperone in all of Nevada." "See, now, I'm confused." "I was referred to you by an ex-client." "He was a neighbor of mine in Boston." "I simply took him off his advice, but now I fear you may be too jocular." "Could you tell me about yourself?" "You mean, you want my qualifications?" "Along those lines." "Along those lines." "Well, I've been knocked down, blown up, lied to, shit on, and shot at." "So nothing surprises me much anymore, except the things that people do to each other." "I'm a licensed pilot, took karate in Tokyo." "I lectured on economics at Yale." "I can memorize the front pages of The New York Times in five minutes and repeat it back to you in five weeks." "I was the National Golden Gloves champion three years in a row." "I'm fluent in four languages and can wrestle with a menu in five more..." " Jesus!" " Don't interrupt me." "There's more." " More?" " Yeah." "I lie a lot." "(GIGGLING)" "(GIGGLING CONTINUES)" "I'm staying at Caesars, Mr. Wild." "Shall we say 7:00?" "7:00, Mr. Kinnick." "(HORN HONKING)" "It worked, Nicky!" "(LAUGHS)" "It fuckin' worked!" "It really worked." "How could you be such a bastard, Os, huh?" "You said I was a coward and my breath was bad." "That's not an insult, that's a fuckin' insult." "That was in character, man." "I'm fuckin' around." "You're too sensitive." "And you didn't tell me you were gonna take my fuckin' hair." " What was that, man?" " (LAUGHING)" "She likes you better without it." "Women, they like honesty." "Who knew?" "Word to the wise." "All right, fresh from the bank." "$1,000." "That's not the right amount." "Are you callin' me a crook?" "'Cause I am not a crook." "Nobody said you were." "You forgot the bonus, Nicky!" "I said if she came along out of pressure I was putting on, fine." "Whatever." "Done." "But if by seeing the real me, it could bring out that she loved me, there'd be a $500 bonus. $1,000." "And that's what happened?" "She saw the real you?" "(SQUEALING)" "She fuckin' loves me, man." "Love." "(SIGHS)" "I'll take the $500, Os." "This day keeps gettin' better and better." "(GIGGLING)" "I love you, man." "I mean, I love you." "Yeah!" "Hey, I'm gonna write you from Atlantic City." "Ooh, it's where we're all headed." "How you doin', Nick?" "Great, Rex." "So, I put Casanova on table two like you asked." "I'll bet you give him the room with the busted toilet." "Oh, yeah, I like that one." "MAN:" "I'm not wearing a ring." "You wouldn't have known it." "I stay with her on account of our four kids and I can survive, except when fate, through a toilet that won't flush, brings me in contact with a special specimen like you." " What'd I miss?" " The special specimen." " Fuck!" " Shh." "He's about to ask for a memory." "Okay, she's dead, but she won't lie down." "She'll lie down." "She just doesn't realize it's gonna happen in five minutes." "MAN:" "I could get a key to a $1,000 suite." "So please, Marie, leave me with the memory." "Give me something I can cherish to remember." "Okay." "Okay." "Thank you." "Come on." "Son of a bitch!" "How does he get fucked every time?" "What is that?" "Hey, he wants it that much." "Well, I don't have anything like that." " Do you?" " Sure." "Never had to rest my head on the same pillow twice." " Well, travel costs." " Tell me." "I need $500,000 to buy me five years." "Right now, I'm only short $499,500." " Well, luck will find you then." " I know." "When it does, I'll grab that fucker by the throat." "Yeah." "Oh, and hey, Nick?" "Holly just called." "Said if you're not finished with your grapefruit juice, don't waste it." "(SIGHS)" "(DOORBELL RINGS)" "WOMAN:" "It's open." "You want some coffee?" "No." "I just brewed it." "It's 100% Colombian, it's right there on the table." "Holly, if you're gonna hide, why couldn't we have just talked on the phone?" "I just don't think I want you seeing me like this." "Hey, Nick." "(SIGHS)" "You know, I kept calling out for you in Emergency." "The doctor says I kept saying "Nick" over and over again." "They thought that you were the one who..." "Who did?" "I don't know." "That's why I phoned you." "So I had a date last night." "When I left," "I got to the elevator and the doors were opening and it was going up." "There were three guys inside." "The young guy was the boss." "He spoke real strong like a fighter." "The two big guys were his flunkies." "And the fighter says, "Come on to the party."" "And I said I was tired, and he said," ""Hey, I'm too pretty to turn down."" "And he pulled me inside and..." "We get to his suite, I said," ""Where's the party?"" "And he says, "You're it."" "And he signals for the big guys to go into the next room." "And he says, "Aren't you the lucky bitch?" ""You're the only girl in the world tonight that gets to touch it."" "And he looks down at himself and says," ""The envy of all mankind."" "(SCOFFS)" "Well, he did what he did." "And the big guys worked me over real good on the service stairs." "And some hotel people, they dumped me at Emergency." "Isn't $100 what you charge for the first hour?" "Today's my day for turnin' down money." "What'd you wanna pay me for?" "'Cause I wanna sue his ass, Nicky." "You must hire a lawyer, Holly." "I'm not a lawyer." "I don't even know his name or what room he was in or any goddamn thing about him." "Then you must hire a detective, Holly." "I'm not a detective." "I don't know any goddamn detectives, Nick." "I know you, and you know everybody." "I mean, how could you not help me?" "'Cause I'm gonna guess the three gentlemen you talked about were not IBM executives." "What hotel were you in?" "The Golden Nugget." "Better and better." "A lot of people like it." "True, and so is this." "Every high school student knows there's no such thing as organized crime in America." "Every elementary school student knows that if organized crime ever dreamt of invading, the last city they would come to would be Vegas." "And every kindergarten student knows that if the mob ever did come to town, the last hotel to be tainted would be the Golden Nugget." "Shit, Holly, I mean, even their fucking showgirls can rip the phone book in half." "Remember when I told you not to go to that place?" "You know what?" "You could always piss me off, Holly." "I'm leaving now." "But I want us to be clear." "Holly, when I came to this town, you was just a kid who lived across the street." "That first year, Baby himself tried to recruit me for his organization." "I said no." "If someone got bloody, I wanted it to be for my reasons, not anybody else's." "Baby accepted that." "Since then I've stayed away from them and they stayed away from me." "I don't know a soul that works at the Golden Nugget." "I don't have one contact there." "I swear to God." "Hey, Millicent." "(CHUCKLES)" "I don't think they much appreciate us having visitors." "Hey, listen, I'm interested in a guy who looks like a fighter." "Has a suite, I guess on a high floor, travels with two large bodyguards." "You still live in Naked City?" "You know Big Daddy's?" "Of course." "I get off at 4:00." "You come down there about 4:15." "If I ain't there, I couldn't find nothin'." "If I am, we'll talk." " Hey, Nick." " Hey, Millicent." "Too bad you got all that British blood in you." "If you was black, I'd bed you good and fast." "You could make believe." "Nah." "Don't think this is racial or anything, but I never feel like you people are clean." "This is a housekeeper you're talking to, remember?" "I can tell if a Brit's been in a room, just like that." "Why should I think that was racial or anything?" "Glad you don't." "Now, this fighter guy, his name is Danny DeMarco, suite 3506." "He's from a fine old Italian family back east." "He's a son and heir and his daddy loves him which is why he never goes no place without them two big mothers." "How big are they?" "A lot bigger than you." "You did me something once." "I will owe you forever." "But now, I need you to do me something." "Do not fuck with these guys." "Pickle." "(CELL PHONE RINGING)" "Lady in housekeeping, I just met with her." "She struck out, Holly." "Couldn't find out a thing." "Oh, Nick." "Don't lie anymore." "You know what he did when he was finished?" "He put a gun inside me." "He said, "You got one shot at breathing." ""Tell me you love me." ""And if I believe you I'll let you go."" "I said, "Oh, God, I love you." ""I love you so much, I do."" "And he said, "Never shit a shitter."" "And then he pulled the trigger." "And I scream and I hear a click." "Some fucking games to play with another human." "Right, Nicky?" "(SIGHS)" "And I want to sue him, and you know who he is," "and you just let him walk away." "NICK:" "Just know I tried, Holly." "Sure, you liar." "Just know this one thing." "All those times I told you I cared for you..." "Yeah, I know, I know." "You were lying." "Wrong." "I loved you." "Every good thing I ever said was true." "And when you hit bottom, who climbed down there and found you?" " Only me." " Holly..." "Hey!" "Sorry, made a wrong turn back that way." "I am ready to see the sights." "Follow me, Mr. Kinnick." "(MELANCHOLY CHRISTMAS MUSIC PLAYING)" "I hadn't realized these places were so big." "Yeah, the noise bothers people sometimes." "I don't mind the noise." "Golden Gate is much smaller." "It's just a short drive down the block." "By all means." "This isn't as nice as some of those other places." "Eh, tourist traps." "How did you get into this line of work?" "Special forces, am I right?" "Trained to run around all commando." "What were you?" "SBS?" "SRR?" "SAS?" " Just S." " Just S." " S for special?" " S for shut your mouth." "It's not something I'm getting into with you." "I can take care of things." "That's all you need to know." "That, and running around "all commando"" "isn't a preferred military term." "Are you always so touchy?" "Oh, hi, excuse me." "Can I get a Fiji water, please?" "You knock the bottles over, they don't roll away." "Nicky?" "Vodka double." "In a square glass so it doesn't roll away." "Mmm." "Well, I am going to hit the craps table." "The $100 tables are back there." "Yeah, but I can make a greater number of smaller bets at the $10 tables." "Sounds like a winning system." " I got your back." " Great." "I'd like to bet $10 on the shooter, please." "DEALER:" "Ten on the shooter, yes sir." "Hey, Nick." "I've seen you happier." "How wrong you are, Cassandra." "This is the highlight of my career." " I'm protecting a Fiji drinker." " Here we go!" "Big bet's $10 on a single roll of the dice." "What you see on my face is ecstasy." "My shift's starting." " DEALER:" "Yellow 11, that's it." " (CYRUS CHEERING)" "Winner's rolling hot." "HOLLY:" "You know who he is, and you just let him walk away." "We're quits, okay?" "But I intend on gambling for hours." "I don't have hours." "And you're safe in the casino, Kinnick." "Nobody'll mug you in the casino." "And outside they've got these yellow things called taxis." "Just grab one and you'll be back at Caesars in half a minute." "Home and dry." "Goodbye, Kinnick." "(DOORBELL RINGS)" "His name's Danny DeMarco." "He's staying at the Golden Nugget." "Suite 3506." " Good night, Holly." " Wait." " What?" " At least let me write it down." "Then write it down." " You know how to spell it?" " No." " What'd you say?" " That's what I said." "Good luck with your fucking lawsuit, okay?" "What are you so angry about?" " Liar!" " I'm not." "You never once intended suing the son of a bitch, did you, sweetness?" "You'll see." "I won't help you anymore." "I don't help liars." " Quit calling me that." " Quit doing it, then." "Would you help me?" " What kind of help could I give you?" " You know." "Yeah, I'd get killed." "There's only three of them." "Three of them with guns." "You got to go in there and you got to soften them up, so I can have my chance!" "Chance for what, Holly?" "I want his nuts in my hands!" "And if they kill me?" "I'll be miserable for days." "I want him so bad for what he did to me." "I want my revenge, Nicky." "(SIGHS)" "(KNOCK ON DOOR)" "(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)" "MAN: (SIGHING) Yeah?" "I'm here to see Mr. DeMarco." "About?" "It's personal." "Well, he's busy." "I don't think Baby is gonna be too happy with me stuck out here." "I don't give a shit." " Who was it?" " It was some guy." "Said he was a friend of Baby's." "Shit." "(SIGHS)" "So you're a friend of Baby's?" "What's this about?" "A girl." "DeMARCO:" "You two get the fuck out." "(DeMARCO LAUGHING)" "Hey, you kidding me?" "You searched him?" "Mmm-hmm." "Yup." "Checked the hat?" "Sorry about that, Santy Claus." "Can't be too careful these days." "We should have a drink." "Any friend of Baby's..." "It's good of you to see me like this, Mr. DeMarco." "Danny." "Call me Danny." " What do I call you?" " Nick." "Well, Nick, I'm told there's something about a girl?" "Where is she?" "In my sled on the roof." "(LAUGHING)" "Oh, is she pretty?" "Was." "Come again?" "Last night a friend of mine was shown some disrespect and I thought, you know, maybe you might do something to make things okay." "Oh, that." "We'll you see, Nick, that wasn't disrespect." "That was a game." "We were having ourselves a little party." "And what happened after wasn't so nice either." "She had to be stitched up in Emergency." "Oh." "Could he be talking about us?" "No, that's not us." "No, not us, boss." "They're lying, Nick." "I know this is probably another game you're playing, only this time it's with me." "You can't show disrespect to a whore and that's what your friend is." "No, she's..." "It's best not to interrupt me, Nick." "Yes, sir." "She's a whore, you're her pimp." "At least you look like a two-bit pimp to me." "Am I right?" "No, I'm legit, Mr. DeMarco." "Look, see." "Credit cards, driver's license, they're all mine." "Well, Nick, what the hell." "Maybe you have a point." "Would $50,000 cover your disrespect, Nick?" "You're very generous." "And you're very stupid." "But even so, you probably know what this is." "And where it's been." "Let me just leave." "Oh, you're gonna leave, Nick." "The question is what shape you're gonna be in when you do so." "Listen, I..." "Didn't I tell you something about interrupting me, you dumb fuck?" "(SIGHS)" "Yes, sir." "You remember what?" "You said it was best not to." "Right." "You see, if I'm sweet to you, Nick, if I just let you walk out of here free as air, well, I want people to know how sweet I am." "So, be honest, Nick." "Tell me about my good qualities, and if I believe you, well, you're free as air." "You're a great man, Mr. DeMarco." "A peach of a guy." "You're the best." "A genuine top of the line human being." "(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)" "You failed so far, Nick, but I'm gonna give you one more chance." "So go ahead, talk about me." "The fuck are you thinking about, huh?" "Corsica." "But it went away." "Tiel, Kinlaw, take this dumb fuck out of my sight." "Why don't you show him how sweet I really am?" "Let's go." "(GROANING)" "Stop him!" "That's him." "Better be, or he's got one hell of a lawsuit." "You softened them up pretty good." "Remember me?" "Sure, you're the party girl we had all those nice games with." "HOLLY:" "Right." "I had so much fun, I can't stand that that party is over." "I wanted it to go on forever." "Hey, what's she up to, huh?" " The envy of all mankind." " Yeah." "Do you know who I am?" "Of course." "You're the party giver." "What the fuck is she doing, huh?" "What is this about?" "Money?" "Is that what this is?" "Sure it is." "You know what, just take the 50, huh?" " Take it, for Christ sake." " What money?" "$50,000." "Top desk drawer." "Yeah, there you go." "Yeah, see?" "This isn't about money." "This is about love." "Is it?" "(LAUGHING) Hey, I didn't do nothin'." "It was all Tiel and Kinlaw." "It was them." "Why don't you tell your girl to put those away?" "I hope I sharpened these enough." " Let's see." " Hey..." "Hey, wait..." "Wait!" "Hey..." " (GASPING)" " Guess they're sharp enough." "Look, there's a little tiny cut right on the envy of all mankind." "(SCREAMING)" "Let me..." "Just let me be!" "Let me be, please!" "I..." "You got the wrong idea!" "I'm really a good guy!" " I am!" " So you're not mad at me, then?" "(CRYING) No!" "No!" "Good, I'm not mad at you, either." "I'm gonna give you the same break that you gave me." "(SOBBING)" "Tell me you love me, and if I believe it, then I'll let you keep it." "But if I don't believe you, that means you're a bad boy." "And bad boys need to be punished." "So that the envy of all mankind will have to go away with me." "(MOANING)" "I love you." "(SOBBING)" "What'd you say?" "I love you." "I don't think that sounded very sincere." " Did it?" " This is your show." "Don't!" "Don't do this, don't!" "Don't!" "Last chance." "(SCREAMING) I fucking love you!" "I just..." "I just love..." "I love you!" "I love you!" "Please, please don't..." "Look, okay." "I made a little mistake." "I made a little mistake!" "Everyone can make a little mistake, okay?" "Just don't!" "No, no, no, please don't!" "Don't!" "Don't!" "I'm sorry!" "(SOBBING)" "Don't!" "(SCREAMING)" "(SOBBING CONTINUES)" "Wish I brought my camera." "Okay." "Okay." "NICK:" "You have to leave town, Holly." "They're coming for me, too." "First, I'm gonna win enough cash to get out of this place for good." "Yeah, I know." "I spent the last hours packing, without regret I might add," " because I'm heading straight for..." " Hey, don't tell me." "If I don't know, I can't tell anybody." "You that sure they'll come after you?" " You know damn well they will." " You could've killed them." "I try not to do that." "No, you keep it all." "You're the one that took the risk." "Okay, I want half." "I'm the one that took the beating." "(UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)" "Well, you only look about a million times better than before." "A friend of mine left town." "We had this kind of going away thing." "Sounds sweet." "How much longer you on this shift?" "11:50. 10 minutes." "What the hell, I shall keep you company." "Well, I've been killing everyone tonight, Nicky." "You did something for me once." "So believe this, bet small." "Changing 100." "Since it's a five dollar minimum, how's if I bet five dollars?" "Bust" "It's been like that." "Blackjack." "I lose more friends this way." "What is it?" "Cass, I've got 19." "And you've got a 10 showing, except I know somethin'." "Your down card is another picture which makes 20, so my 19 is shit." "You want me to hit 19, Nicky?" "I'll tell you why." "Because there's a weight on my shoulder now." "Locks right into my shoulder now." "It's happened." "I've got to go for the throat, Cass." "Because of all the people in all the casinos in all the world, luck's come camping with me." "So, yes, I want you to hit my 19." "And I'd like a two." "Two is 21." "Means I win." "My two please, Cass." "Jesus." "I'd like a $1,000 dollar chip, please, Cass." "One way or another, this is my last night in Vegas." "Changing 1,000." "Take care, Nicky." " You playing?" " No." "You got mean eyes." "Up or down?" "I had luck riding with me, then they changed dealers." "(CHUCKLES)" "(SIGHING)" "Asshole!" "Not you, me." "How do I know it's gone?" "DEALER:" "Blackjack." "Give me a chip rack, please." "(UPBEAT RB MUSIC PLAYING)" "Can I raise the limit?" "No." "I'll play the whole table then." "Nah, I'm not greedy." "You got to win some time." "DEALER:" "Blackjack." "What the fuck is this?" "Retribution for 5,000 mornings." "And watch your mouth in front of a lady." "Thanks, sweetie." "God, what a thing when luck comes calling, huh?" "Good." "Yes!" "(LAUGHS)" "Son of a goddamn bitch." "Good." "(SIGHING)" "If I win," "I'm over 500." "And that'll be the last you ever hear of me." "(CROWD CHEERS)" "Yes!" "What the hell!" "Yes!" "Five hundred and 6,000." "It isn't exactly a round number, but then I was never one to quibble." " Fiji?" " Vodka." "Rocks with a twist?" "Look at that." "Doubles, please, Veronica." "Thank you, Veronica." "So what do your friends call you?" "Cyrus is a pretty shitty name." "I always wanted to be called Ace or Duke." "But Cyrus seems like the overwhelming choice." "How are you not more excited?" "Never hit over half a mil before." "I don't know why I'm not more excited." "Maybe it's because I never dared think it would happen." "That make sense?" "Kind of." "Anything else?" "That's all, thanks, hon." "Here, love, take some time off." "Go see your mom." "Thank you so much, Nick." " Well, cheers." " Hey, cheers." "You're leaving town?" "Think bigger." "State, country, continent." "Five free years, Duke." "I've been dreamin' this since forever." "$100,000 per." "I've got it figured to the penny." "Guess you haven't liked Vegas much, huh?" "You're not supposed to like Vegas." "It's just this creeping virus people catch sometimes." "Sweet dreams." "I'm off to Corsica in the morning." "I'm gonna sail the Mediterranean before I die." "Well, I'll walk you out." "That's very kind of you, Duke." "(HEART BEATING)" "NICK:" "Fuck." " What's happened?" " (SIGHING)" "It was all horseshit." "It's just a loser's dream." "I don't get you." "This is not what I need." "Five years would only be fine at first." "After that I'd just realize that every day was another day closer to bein' back here." "I never pushed the logic, because I never thought I'd be in this position." "Half a million." "Well, half a million's nothing." "I know now what I really need." "What's that?" ""Fuck you" money." "Enough so I'll never have to come back here." "Freedom." "That's what "fuck you" money is." "I don't want any limit." "I have to clear that." "Let me check." "He thinks I'm gonna lose." "You've got it." "Asshole." "It's 500." "You count it." " 500,000 going out." " Send it." "That's 525,000." "This fella's gettin' awful heavy." "All on one, Cass." "It's just like we started, Cass." "I know you've got another picture under there." "Hit me." "A four." "If you don't mind." "You should've stood, Nicky." "You would've won." "(SIGHS)" "I came in with $25,000." "Lost $25,000." "No big deal." "(CROWD APPLAUDING)" "You fuckin' had it." "You fuckin' had it!" "It was right there." "You fuckin' had it!" "You fuckin' had it." "It was all there." "It was all there." "On the fucking table." "(YELLING)" "You fuckin' had it!" "On the fucking table!" "(GROANING)" "You fuckin' had it." "You fuckin' had it!" "(GRUNTING)" "(GROANING)" "(TOILET FLUSHING)" "Would you like your grapefruit juice now?" "(SIGHING)" "How did I get here?" "After you passed out, I tipped some of the staff to help me bring you." "Thank you." "Hmm, I thought you'd be thirsty." "Listen, Duke, you're a great caterer, and I appreciate it." "But I think you got somethin' to say and it's time you said it." "(SCOFFS)" "You won't laugh?" "Not today." "All right, I..." "I lied about my friend recommending you." "And I didn't have to ask for your qualifications." "I knew everything about you, I've researched you." "I knew about the grapefruit juice, right?" "And the double vodka." "And I know about why you always sit in the same spot at the Silver Spoon counter." "I need something from you and I've come too far for a no answer." "A while back in Boston I saw this old guy on the street and he had a sign on his back that said," ""Please don't hit me."" "And my first thought was, "What a sad thing."" "But then..." "I got so fucking mad because I realized that was going to be me when I got old." "Just an old nut scared of the world." "And so I've come to you." "I want you to teach me." " Teach you what?" " Anything." "Everything." "I need you to kill the fear that lives inside of me every day." "You want to sail the Mediterranean," "I want to do something brave before I die." "Hey, listen, kid..." "I earned 70 million dollars by the time I was 19." "Don't call me kid." "Jesus." "How?" "It was nothing." "I put a new twist on an old twist on computer software." "Being smart is the only defense I've ever had, but it's not enough anymore." "You've got to help me." "You know how fuckin' weird this is?" "You're not even 30, set for life." "I'm pushing 40, broke." "I'll pay you." "I'll make you rich." "I have been rich." "Most recently last night." "Yeah, I could help you with that, too." "Help me with what?" "Are you serious?" "I like blackjack maybe more than I should." "That's all." "Why do you think you stay here?" "You hate it so much it's the only place you can stay." "It's the only place you're worthy of." "It's all so obvious." "Well, if it's all so fuckin' obvious, why are you so fuckin' wrong?" "Huh?" "Don't go!" "We can help each other!" "You know what?" "You're just like the nuts who write to me." "You want adventure?" "Swell!" "Well, I earned my past, Cyrus." "Go earn your own." "This one's on me, Nick." "Looks like you need it." "Nick Wild, how you doin'?" "You need to come with us." "Mr. DeMarco's waiting." "(UPBEAT CHRISTMAS MUSIC PLAYING)" "(BOTH GRUNTING)" "(SCREAMING)" "(WOMAN SCREAMS)" "(MEN GRUNTING)" "(GROANING IN PAIN)" "(BONES CRACK)" "(SHOUTING)" " (BONES CRACK) - (YELLS)" "We lie together beneath the moonlight" "Stars are beamin', you light up the night" "You tell me that you love me" "But it's time you prove" "Put your money where your mouth is" "Baby, make your move" "Baby, make your move" "Take five." "Nicholas." "Nicholas." " Baby." " (CHUCKLES)" "I heard you were up over 500 last night at the Gate." "Talk of the town." "Do you remember, when was it?" "A couple months ago when you had us beaten for 200 grand?" "Right here at the Nugget?" "Till your luck changed." "I'll get there someday." "Nicholas." "I'm just in a terrible bind and it's all because of you." "It seems that somebody broke into room 3506 last night, beat up on three guys and took $50,000." "And that was before I had my Wheaties." "(CHUCKLING)" "If only that were funny." "No, it seems that this same somebody shot and killed two gentlemen named Kinlaw and Tiel." "Shot them while they were tied and helpless." "And an eyewitness claims that that someone was you." "And you believe that?" "If I did, you'd be dead." "Come along, Nicholas." "Come along where?" "To see DeMarco." "I have to find the truth." "Wait a minute, you mean I'm on trial?" "For your life, I should imagine." "DeMARCO:" "Why do I have to tell it again?" "I told you." "You believe me." "So why?" "Because, Daniel, you are asking me to kill Nicholas here." "And if a mistake was later discovered," "I would feel simply dreadful." "So please, be as brief as you will." "I feel guilty because I let him in." "When the knock came on the door, I..." "I wasn't thinking and I opened it." "And right away he pistol whips me, right in the mouth, you see?" "Right there." " Mmm-hmm." "Yes." " Right there." " Yeah." " And he's quick." "He takes out Tiel and Kinlaw like they were nothing." "And he ties them up back to back, the way they were when you found 'em." "And then he rifles my desk, he takes the 50 and for no fucking reason he goes crazy and he shoots maybe my two best friends in the whole world." "Why?" "Probably he's pissed that there wasn't more cash." "And probably he would've killed me, too, but there was a noise out in the hall and he panicked and he ran." "Shot 'em with their own guns, Baby." "Can you believe that?" "You check." "You'll see that I'm telling the truth." "They're gonna have his fingerprints all over 'em." "Don't bother checkin'." "The fingerprints are mine." "This is all true then?" " Some." " Which?" "You better speak, Nicholas." "And I suggest you begin right now." "I'll ask just two questions, Baby." "If you're gonna answer them to your satisfaction, do what you will." "First, why would I use a gun?" "The fuck kind of question is that, huh?" "Why does anybody use a gun?" "Nicholas never does." "Believe me, he could kill you with..." "He could kill you with this from five feet or 15." "And the answer to your question is this." "It's the perfect cover." "Nobody would ever dream that Nick Wild needed a gun to commit a robbery." "All right, Nicholas." "Second question." "Second and last." "Baby, what do you know about my body?" "I mean, underneath my clothes?" "Obviously nothing." "Well, then, there's my second question." "How is it possible that I know that Mr. DeMarco here has a small but definite cut on the upper side of his Hampton?" "Answer?" "I saw it put there by a dear sweet lady with a pair of garden shears." "What is this shit, huh?" "It's easy to find out if I'm lying, just have him take down his trousers." "You're not buying this crap, are you, Baby?" "Someone go get a microscope so we locate Mr. DeMarco's pecker." "DeMARCO:" "You know what?" "I'm not stripping." "I'm not stripping for nobody." "I think you must, Daniel." "Nicholas is risking his life on a very unusual long shot here." "I know it's embarrassing, but I'll make it easier for you." "You and I will go in the other room, and we'll both take down our pants." "I won't." "I won't." " I'm afraid you must." " It's..." " It's a matter of principle, Baby." "I..." " (ALL LAUGHING)" "BABY:" "Nobody would..." "MAN:" "Second cousin." "It's principle." "Oh, dear." "(LAUGHING)" "It's principle!" "He..." "Would somebody shut this goddamn fucker up?" "Oh, Daniel, you just blew the ballgame." "Nobody in your family has had even a passing relationship with a principle in the past 50 years." "So you're siding with him?" "Baby, you believe him over me?" "I believe this." "I believe that somebody who looks like Nicholas did the deed." "And I will endeavor to find him." "Now, you may go." "You." "I'm gonna see you real soon." "I'm gonna see you real soon." "(FENCE RATTLES)" "You watch your fuckin' back!" "Why do you think he did it?" "He's a very macho little slime." "And he broke down and humiliated himself in front of them." "You know he'll come for you." "Yeah." "If you don't care, why'd you defend yourself?" "I didn't wanna be remembered for doin' what he said." "Dyin' ain't so bad." "And at least I'll be out of Las Vegas." "(CHUCKLES)" "Thank you, Nicholas." "Good luck." "Cheers, Baby." "All right." "Be well." "(TIRES SCREECHING)" "ROXY:" "Hey." "That bad, huh?" "FEMALE CUSTOMER:" "Could you get the check, please?" "(SIGHING)" "I'm leaving." "I'm only here to give you a present of gratitude of everything you taught me." "What, for Christ sakes?" "That everyone's afraid." "That I'm not the only cowardly asshole in this world." "You're one, too." "I really needed this now." "What I have to deal with is that" "I'm the one inside my own skin." "Maybe it's not so terrible." "And if you can admit what you are, you might find it's not so terrible either." "(SIGHS)" "Okay, Duke." "I admit it." "If I'd won the full million," "I would have figured out some reason to go for more." "I'm a trapped compulsive." "There." "I said it." "See me tap dancing?" "No, but you might have taken the first tiny step toward your sailboat." "Yeah, doubtful." "Doubtful for two reasons, the first being the lack of funding." "(CHUCKLING)" "I knew you were gonna say that." "Reach under the counter." "I told you I bought you a present." "I taped it there before you got here." "What's this?" "One plane ticket to Corsica and a check for $500,000." "(SIGHS)" "Okay, so, first reason's taken care of." "Now, what's the second?" "I'm bein' murdered any minute." "Murdered?" "Really?" "When is this happening?" "(DOOR OPENS)" "Now." "Oh." "(SIGHING)" "CYRUS: (LOUDLY) Oh" "Sweet mystery of life" "I finally found you" "Sir, you have to stop that." "Sweet mystery of life" "What the fuck?" "I finally know the secret to it all!" "Oh..." "Put them away, put them away." "I want him found now, today." "I want you to find that asshole." "I want you to find him." "I don't care how long it takes any of you dumb fucks." "You call more fuckin' guys." "Get two on the bus station and a few at the airport." "Check every bar, every casino, every whorehouse." "Turn over every goddamn rock he could slither under." "You find out where he lives..." "Where he works..." "How much it costs." "Go back inside there, grab that fuckin' kid and kill that motherfucker, too!" "(MEN GRUNTING)" "Get in there!" "Get in there!" "Go!" "(GROANING)" "(YELLING)" "(GROANING)" "(GASPING)" "You don't wanna go back there." " You lost them?" " In a manner of speaking." "Hey, wait, you forgot these." "Take them." "No, I can't." "No, take them!" "Nick, please." "I can leave town now and know that I'm not a coward." "And you have no idea what a relief that is for me." "You earned this." "Thanks." "And not just for this." "And not just for acting like an idiot so I could get out of the diner." "You're a good friend." "We're friends?" "Don't ruin it." "Good-bye, Duke." "Merry Christmas, Nick." "(STARTING MOTOR)" "(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)" "(MELLOW MUSIC PLAYING)"

"Senor?" " Have you seen this woman?" " No, Senor." "Gracias." "Senor?" "Senor?" "Gracias." "10, 42, 36, hut, hut, hut!" "Way to go, Brogan!" "The old man can still catch, huh?" "Take care of that shoulder." "Good job." "Nice legs, but watch this one." "Brogan!" "I didn't like what I saw on Sunday." "What?" "I caught the winning touchdown." "You missed that track-back block." "You were worried about your shoulder." "Doctor says there's no permanent damage." "I don't want any weaknesses read by the other team." "You took yourself off the injured reserve." "You said you were healthy." "The shoulder is solid." "Why don't you prove that?" "I intend to." "I mean right now." "Mrs. Wyler's paying you to play football, not talk about it." "Why don't you go over to the sled?" "The sled is bullshit." "I got two rookies who need playing time, Brogan." "Either go to the sled or sit on the bench." "No, Stassen." "I'll go over there and prove it to you." "Sam!" "Go with him." "Come on, Sam." "No matter how long you play, they want you to prove it one more time." "North field scrimmage." "That guy's been on my ass since he got here." "Here we go." "All right, hand down." "Look at me." "Ready." "Hit it!" "Sam, get on it." "All right, hand down." "Look at me." "Hit it!" "Fuck!" "Sully!" "I'd like you to meet our County Supervisor, Ed Phillips." "He's Mrs. Wyler's guest today." "I'm a big fan." "Not only of the Outlaws, but of the football you played." "Football's changed since I was a player." "Right, right." "I guess that run of injuries kind of hurt you guys." "We had a lousy bench last year." "We had to play a lot of injured ball players." "That's part of the job." "You never played injured?" "Yeah, well, I was dumb." "I don't like my boys getting hurt permanently." "That's why they call him " Mother. "" "Hit it!" "I don't know about being a supervisor." "I sure as hell don't know about being a lawyer." "But if I was a lawyer I wouldn't know shit about football, would I?" "Excuse me." "Let's get out of here." "Hit it!" "You don't have to do this, Brogan." "The fucker's not beating me." "Hand down again." "Look at me!" "Hit it!" "I'm the trainer here, and I say he's had enough." "What're you trying to prove?" "You're a veteran!" "What a dumb fucking thing to have me do!" "Wait for me in my office, Brogan." "Steve Kirsch's office." "This is Terry Brogan." "I need to speak to Steve." "The Outlaws just put me on waivers." "I'm sorry to hear that." "I'm a big fan of yours, Terry." "Hold, please." "It's Terry Brogan." "He's been cut." " Call Schumacher." " He needs to talk to you." "I don't handle players." "Get rid of him." "Hello." "Mr. Kirsch can't talk, but he suggests you call Hal Schumacher." "I don't want Hal Schumacher I want Steve." "When's he available?" "I really don't know." "Thank you." "Thanks a lot." " They screw up my shoulder, then cut me." " Shit!" "That's it in a word." "They promised they'd keep you." "This is behind my back, kid." "Yeah, I figured." "At first I thought they'd pay me off." "But I want to play football." "Not this year." "Not with that shoulder." "Let me ask you something." "What makes you think they'll pay you off?" "I was injured." "You played two games great." "If you're injured, you didn't look it." "What was I supposed to do?" "If I give them any trouble, they cut me." "They cut you anyway." "They're rebuilding." "More profit, less talent." "You cost too much." "They're not screwing me around." "I'm gonna see my lawyer." "I'll miss the pressure." "Give me a call." "Caxton, Benjamin, Parker and Stein." "Yes, he is." "Hold on a moment." "May I help you?" " I'm here to see Steve Kirsch." " I'll ring his office." "Hello." "I'm here to see Steve Kirsch." "I know." "I'm the one you've been talking to all day." "The one who's a big fan?" "What's your name?" "Edie." "Edie, he's not ever going to talk to me?" "You're down in my book to call." " Where's his office?" " He's not here." "I know you gotta keep your job, Edie." "You have a nice face." "I" "I'm telling you the truth." "It wouldn't be out of line for you to lie, would it?" "Where is he?" "Terry!" "It's good to see you." "I'm cut from the Outlaws." "I know, I heard." "The firm represents Mrs. Wyler." "Since I joined the firm, I can't represent players." "Mrs. Wyler owns the Outlaws." "She's our biggest client." "It's a conflict of interest." "Wait a minute." "When you came hustling me in school I put my career in your hands." "Remember?" "You're right." "I'm sorry." "Sit down." "I've been playing injured." "They know, but they don't want to pay me off." "I think that's what their position's gonna be." "Their position's fucked." "I'll go to the Players' Association." "You could do that, but listen." "What happens if the Outlaws prove that you're perfectly fine?" "They've got film when you're in practice, games." "They're gonna fight for a long, long time." "Steve, look." "I'm having money problems, man." "I'm broke." "Did you spend every cent you ever made?" "Let me think for just a second here." "I should get you a low-interest loan to tide you over." " Excuse me" " Could you wait, please?" "I'll talk to these guys, see if I can soften their position and get you something so it's not a hassle." "Excuse me, Mr. Kirsch." "The reception?" "Mr. Caxton's waiting." "Right, I forgot." "I gotta go." "I gotta know about this soon." "I'll get on it first thing." "You're one of my first players, huh?" "Mike Hogan and his wife, Susan." "Ben Cassidy." "Thank you for coming." "Here's Hal Schumacher's number." "Call him." "He's a nice man." "Do they always get bombed at the end of the day?" "It's business down there." "It's an intimate fundraiser." "What do you mean?" "Mr. Caxton has assessed every lawyer $1500 to contribute to the reelection of Councilman Weinberg." "Mrs. Wyler is Caxton's biggest client, isn't she?" "Yes." "In fact, he's doing business for her right now." "Yeah?" "For the Outlaws?" "No." "Mrs. Wyler's real business is real estate." "Caxton wants a zoning variance on Wyler's canyon so she can build houses there." "His guest of honour tonight could vote against it." "Trust me, he won't now." "I hate things like before." "When I couldn't be straight with you." "I'm running out of conversation." "I'm sorry." "I gotta go." "I'd like to have a drink with you." "The Ginger Man, after work?" "Okay, sure." "The Ginger Man." "Touchdown." "What are you doing here?" "You been cut." "They can get you for trespassing." "I'd outrun them." "Why are you here, Tommy?" "Jake wants to see you." "How is Jake?" "He got stabbed last week." "What a shame." "He survived, Brogan." "Why does he want me?" "He might have a job for you." "You tell him " No thanks. "" "He'll be at the beach tomorrow." "There's a volleyball game." "Yeah?" "Is he playing?" "I told you, he got stabbed, man." "Well, he lived, right?" "You got problems now, Terry." "You want trouble too?" "Come to the beach tomorrow." "You're not dumb." "Besides what the hell else you got to do?" "Sam!" "Sam!" "Come here!" "You look good as a cripple." "Is that why I had to come here, to give you my opinion?" "How are you doing?" "Lousy." "How's your life?" "Club?" "The Palace is doing great." "The other business is even better." "My action's half a million a week." "You know the grand prize for the guys who win?" "Thirty grand." "It's not bad, is it?" "A few hours on the beach." "Don't tell me you're taking action on this game?" "You think these are beach rats?" "These are world-class players." "You didn't know that?" "Sam, come here!" "People love to bet on sports." "I just help them out." "South Bay guys love this game, and they got money." "I'll take their action." "Who's the fuzzy face?" "Do you wanna cookie?" "There's one!" "You fuzzy face, come on!" "What kind of dog is gonna hang out with you?" "He doesn't belong to me." "He belongs to the lady who cut me." "You're into violent women now?" "Look, I was a bit of an asshole." "I got crazy and popped her." "She came after me with a knife." "Just missed my balls." "And was she going for them?" "Don't they all?" "You got a new Porsche, huh?" "What the fuck, you're rich, right?" "Let's talk it over at the Palace." "What do you say?" "We'll go like the old days." "You up to it?" "Come on, Sam." "Come on!" "Come on, get in the car." "I'll just meet you there." "You get afraid of me in your old age?" "Yeah, right." "Come on." "Be a good release." "Need to release a little tension?" "Do I have to tie one leg behind my back?" "Take the old route." "Sunset." "Let's see if you still got balls!" " How'd you like that?" " Damn good!" "Where were you?" "That was smart." "See you!" "You're still number two!" "Dream on, Terry!" "Son of a bitch!" "What a fucking idiot!" "Scared the shit out of you?" "I'm an asshole for racing with you!" "I'm pulling out!" "Come on, don't pussy out on me now!" "The fun's over!" "Not yet!" "Sam, be quiet!" "Get over here." "What kept you?" "I was getting worried." "I was afraid you got stuck in all that garbage." "Can't have a fair race with a goddamn maniac." "Here, maybe this will fix you up." "Have a taste of this." "How about a Guinness?" "Wanna tell me what I'm doing here?" "You're out of a job, right?" "I've got some job possibilities for you." "For one, you can work right back here." "Celebrity bartender." "Making drinks and telling football stories to drunks." "How does that sound?" "You take the job." "You're a lot funnier than I am." "How about security guard?" "I mean, you know how to get hit." "The point is, for a guy in your situation, Terry the options stink." "Or you can find her for me." "Who's this, the knife lady?" "She's very important to me, Terry." "I think of her all the time." "That's a new reality for you." "She stole 50 grand from me." "I would've given her the money." "I want her back." "And I want you to find her." "You're crazy." "Why would you trust me with her?" "Jessie hates ball players." "Do you think that's funny?" "She's also Mrs. Wyler's daughter." "Did you ever meet her?" "I've heard about her." "She's supposed to be wild." "Her father was an English guy Mrs. Wyler married." "One of those stage actors who can't make it in American films." "Anyway, after he died, Mr. Wyler adopted her." "An owner's daughter, living with a bookie." "That's something, isn't it?" "She hates her mother." "Treated her like a possession." "You know how it is to be one of Mrs. Wyler's possessions?" "I'll give you $10,000 right now." "Pay your expenses." "And if you find her, I'll give you $20,000 more." "You're crazy." "I'm a football player." "Without a team." "That new Porsche of yours, is it paid for?" "What are you gonna do, man?" "Sell insurance?" "You don't have the personality to work for the networks." "I don't want you to bring her back, man." "Just find her." "Tell me where she is." "What does that take?" "Time and money." "You got the time right now." "I got the money." "Great." "You know, I've never used what I got on you." "Could be otherwise." "I wouldn't want that." "Would you?" "It's simple." "Either you want to play football again or you don't." "You never change, do you?" "Not a bit." "Try Mrs. Wyler." "She probably knows where Jessie is." "Right." "If this is about you being cut I don't involve myself with day-to-day team business." "That's not why I came here, Mrs. Wyler." "Then suppose you tell me exactly what you want with me, Mr. Brogan." "I'm looking for your daughter." "We're very close, and she disappeared all of a sudden." "Give me a break." "What do you mean?" "He sent you." "Who?" "Jake Wise." "She was only with him to spite me." "I don't know what she did to get away from him." "What matters is, she got the hell away from him." "Why not drink to that?" "Grace?" "Ed seems to have solved the Soames problem." "The head of the planning commission is coming Saturday." "We're finally softening up these environmentalists." "How wonderful." "You seem to have won the opposition over." "A good project sells itself." "MOBSO's got other mountains to save." "You know Terry Brogan." "How are you?" " And Supervisor Phillips." " I'm a big fan." "Thanks." "I wonder if you'd mind going ahead." "We'll be right along." "Yes, of course." " Be with you in a minute." " See you then." "It seems Mr. Brogan has a new job." "Working for Jake Wise." "Looking for Jessica." "You and Wise good friends?" "I go to his club for the music." "So do a lot of the team." "Why don't you let us steal you from him?" "I won't let Jessica live like this." "I'll double whatever he's paying you." "I'm not some gun for hire." "He can't top what we offer, can he, Ben?" "He can't give you your job back with the Outlaws." "We could consider something." "You know, it isn't easy for Jessica to hide from me." "She's been drawing from her trust." "It's going to a little bank in Mexico." "To an island." "Cozumel." "You could keep a watch on her." "Make sure he gets nowhere near her again." "You know I used Jake Wise as an excuse to come here." "I did come to get my job back." "I didn't deserve what I got." "I played some good ball." "I got a lot of good years left." "I want to be back on the team, but because I'm worth it." "Not because I spied on some 25-year-old who ran away from home." "I'm not going to spy for you or Jake Wise." "Ben, this young man is trespassing here." "Throw him out." "I don't believe you're wanted here." "And you can forget about Kirsch." "He's on my team." "You want the Outlaws to pay you off?" "Sue us." "Walk him to his car." "I can kick myself out, thanks." "Ten years' work, Grace." "And we're this close." "I think just a few members of the team would have been enough." "Having the Outlaws out here, full force, is kind of crowding it." "I have to get some use out of them." "I don't like football." "Ben!" "We got troubles." "Soames is here." "He's brought a lot of those Save The Mountain people." "It doesn't look good." "Goddamn environmentalist bastards." "I think you'd better handle this." "Come on, Ed." "I can't believe he's doing this to us." "Good afternoon, Mrs. Wyler." "I'm Bob Soames, County Planning Commission." " But then you know that." " Of course." "It's a pleasure to meet you." "It's been a long time coming." "I brought friends." "I hope you don't mind." "Not at all." "Bob, are your friends from the Sierra Club?" "Yes, as a matter of fact." "Quite a few." "I hope they're welcome." "I've supported them for years." "Not only financially but also in my heart." "Please join us." "I really don't think so." "Please." "All right." "Thank you." "I'm sorry, Ben." "He promised me." "Soames thinks he's a smart-ass." "I'm not laughing." "Cute little stores." ""Zoning variances don't count. " I say, " Come on-"" "What's it been, three weeks?" "Could you excuse me for just a second?" "What are you doing here?" "Free eats, right?" "It's Mrs. Wyler's party." " You don't wanna be here." " That was bullshit in your office, wasn't it?" "You don't care about me." "You work for Caxton." "You wanted to play pro football." "Every year, there's a chance you'd lose your job because of injury." "You players never grasp, it is not a very secure job." "A lot of us made you rich, didn't we?" "That's right, Brogan." "I got rich." "I'm getting richer all the time." "That's good, Steve." "Come on, come on." "You can afford it when I kick your teeth!" "Do it, see what happens!" "You're a has-been!" " Cool it, man." " Come on, goddamn it!" "That's intelligent." "Will you cool it?" "You know Caxton's here." "Hey, come on." "Relax!" "You're finished in football!" " Get him out!" " I'm out of here!" " You're not playing this right." " I could give a fuck." "Wyler never mixed his other businesses with the team." "We played football." "We didn't sell real estate." "You're saying I'm lucky to be off the team?" "It's a new goddamn ball game." "That's all I'm telling you." "It's all bullshit!" "I don't belong here either." "It's a goddamn circus!" "I'm hearing weird things about you." "Like what?" "Like you might go to work for Jake Wise." "He offered me a job." "But you turned him down." "You're a smart kid." "Wait!" "You're worried about money, but don't screw around with Wise." "I'm gonna get you a coaching job." "Just for the year." "I'm not ready to do what you do." "I'm a player!" "There's nothing here for me now but shit!" "They won't pay me." "My shoulder's screwed up." "Know what I'm telling myself?" "Take Wise's money." "Take a damn vacation!" "I'll find his rich girl for him and lay in the sun." "Have a good season, Hank." "I'm on my own." "Keep away from Wise, damn it!" "Jessie?" "I'm sorry." "I'm sorry!" "Jessie?" "You're Jessie Wyler, aren't you?" "I'm Terry Brogan." "I played ball for the Outlaws." "The Outlaws don't interest me." "I'm not playing this season." "There's not much going on here." "Where can I go to have a good time?" "The ferry leaves every morning." "Can I buy you a drink or something?" "How about a taco, huh?" "I guess you can have anybody do that for you in L.A., huh?" " What's that?" " A football player buy you a couple tacos and a beer." "There are a lot better things to do." "Even in L.A." "What don't you like?" "Football players tacos or beer?" "I like tacos and I like beer." "I should take the ferry, huh?" "I figure if I keep talking, you won't disappear." "Bye!" "You sure about that?" "Hey, Jake." "How's it going?" "No, nothing yet." "I didn't expect to have signs telling me where she is." "Maybe I'll be outside having a drink I'll look and out of nowhere she'll be buying some fruit." "I'll call you in a few days." "All right." "See you." "Bye." "Pretty slick, Roberto." "Okay, senor. cerveza, no glass." "I've been hanging out here a lot, huh?" "Some hangout." "Damn it!" "Where's that boat going?" "Tulum." " When's the next ferry?" " Six hours." "Shit!" "Should I be afraid of you?" "I don't know." "It's beautiful, huh?" "If this were L.A., my stepfather would've bought it." "Torn it up and built condominiums." "Here, the land intimidates them." "They leave it in peace." "Some spot." "It's nothing like the great Maya cities of the Yucatan." "Chichen Itza." "Should have hidden there." "Is that what you're doing?" "Hiding?" "Yep." "From you, right?" "What do you mean?" "Jake sent you." "Maybe your mother did." "I wouldn't know which one had more to threaten you with." "You wanna know the truth?" "I came for the hell of it." "I wanted to get out of L.A. A Caribbean island didn't sound too bad." "Only trouble is, now I'm here I find myself in the middle of something I've no feeling for." "Well, you're not doing this for free." "You're getting paid well, aren't you?" "Which one are you working for?" "Which one knows you found me?" "Nobody knows anything, okay?" "Oh, sure!" "I figure, fuck them." "You know?" "Fuck you too, lady." "I loved your drawing." "I wanna talk to you." "Talk." "Why should I believe you won't tell Jake where I am?" "There are people who care what you believe." "I don't see them here." "I have a broken shoulder, both my knees are shot guys are crippling themselves so you can act like a 13-year-old runaway from Bel Air." "I could give a shit what you believe." " How's Sam?" " Who?" "My dog." "I don't know." "Looks like he's fed." "I shouldn't be afraid of you." "When you leaving?" "I think 4:00." "I wish it were sooner." "Never found where I live, did you?" "I don't think anybody could." "It's the prettiest place on the island." "Don't leave without saying goodbye." "You take the highway out of town to kilometre 19." "When you see the three Tecate cans it's the first dirt road on the right." "Don't leave without saying goodbye." "Don't leave without saying goodbye." "You don't have to worry about the neighbors." "They were building homes here when a storm hit." "They all fell down except this one." "Waited for you, huh?" "Like a drink?" "All right." "That'd be great." " Tequila okay?" " That's great." "It's Maya." "Third century, I think." "No ice." "That's all right." "You don't have any electricity here?" "Propane." "How'd you end up with Jake?" "The Palace, I guess." "I wanted to be a rock 'n' roll singer." "Jake convinced me that rich girls don't have the soul for it." "Sounds like Jake." "Always convincing somebody of something." "It seems I have the soul to live with him, be his girlfriend." "He never had anybody like you before." "You're a whole different class for him." "Not really." "My family didn't get to own most of Bel Air by being honest." "Jake always thought I was his luck." "I helped him outthink people like my family." "I know why he wanted you." "But why were you with him?" "I liked that my being with him made a lot of people crazy." "Like your mom?" "It even frightened her." "And that was really something to finally pull off." "If only my brother had done that and not by killing himself." "Your brother killed himself?" "I guess." "He got into drugs for the same reason I did." "To get away from our terrible life." "Did his dying make you stop?" "Jake did." "Jake did?" "After I was with him awhile, it became very important to him that I stop." "Wouldn't leave me alone until I quit." "The truth is I wanted to quit." "When I did, I didn't need Jake anymore." "Bet that kind of threw him." "He said the only way I could get away was to kill him." "Well, you almost did." "Not really." "I'm gonna stay away from Jake." "And my mother." "Good." "I ought to get going." "Why?" "What'd you come here for?" "You know, this is the best I've felt in years." "I think you're incredible." "You do?" "Yes, I do." "There's a great canyon." "Let's go back down there." "Don't you ever have to breathe?" "It's good therapy for my shoulder." "This is a dream, you know?" "It's true!" "I've completely forgotten about football." "You liar!" "That's the first thing you've said I don't believe." "Come here!" "It's true!" "Then come in and prove it!" "I'm not coming in there!" "Come on, guapo." "It's good therapy for your shoulder." "You know, I thought Jake would send someone awful." "How do you know I'm not awful?" "Maybe I'm no different than Jake." "We haven't left each other's side for the last two weeks." "I figure I know who you are, Terry Brogan." "When I got my contract it was the first real money I ever had." "My lawyer took a big hunk out of it." "But still, I bought everything in sight." "And the girl that I was living with at the time she moved out on me." "Took all my furniture with her." "It seems funny now, but at the time it flipped me out." "I was under a lot of pressure, trying to make the starting lineup." "I started acting crazy, hanging out with Jake." "We got along great." "He was as crazy as I was." "And after a couple of years, I got my ass into debt." "I mean, really badly." "And I made a deal with him to shave points." "You don't have to tell me this, okay?" "I'm supposed to stop now?" "You said you know me." "Well, you don't." "I want you to." "It was a game during the playoffs." "We were expected to win by a four-point spread." "I was supposed to see we didn't win by so much." "I kept putting it off because I felt good." "You know, blow the other team out." "In the fourth quarter, they scored 14 points." "Everything was great." "The spread was 4." "We were ahead by 3." "I didn't have to do anything." "Then the quarterback he threw this pass." "Put it right into my hands." "It was just so perfect I just had to catch it." "All I had to do was just drop the fucker." "But my reflexes took over." "So their guy tackled me on the five and I fumbled." "I just made my hands let go of the ball." "It scared the shit out of me." "I thought everybody in the stadium, all 55,000 knew I was a son of a bitch." "So you won by three instead of four points." "If another player would have done that you'd have to pull me off quick, or he'd be dead." "It's still torturing you, isn't it?" "See, I do know who you are." "Do you know what I wish?" "I wish I'd seen you play football." "I bet you were wonderful." "God!" "I can see how Jake would go crazy without you." "All from Jake." "They stopped coming in four days ago." "We should leave here, you know." "Terry, I don't want to leave." "It's so perfect here." "Yeah, I know." "We have no choice, though." "I don't have much money left." "Can't draw from my trust for three months." "Jake's money's all gone?" "What do you mean, Jake's money?" "He said you took 50 grand from him." "Steal from him, when I want him off me?" "I'd be out of my mind." "I didn't get a cent of his goddamn money." "Well, I've got the money he gave me so..." "I'll go to the hotel in the morning and get my bags." "We'll cover our tracks, huh?" "But you have to go to Chichen Itza alone, okay?" "I gotta get Jake off our trail." "God, where have you been, Terry?" "I've had 10 days in this place." "I found a guy to get us a house in Oaxaca." " Anywhere but here." " I hope he's for real." "It'll cost all I've got." " You don't know what it's like." " Where are we going?" " People can see us." " If they can, who cares?" "Jess, come on." "Will you cool it?" "You know we had to separate." "Jake thinks I'm all over the place looking for you." "I've been to Mexico City, Cuernavaca, Taxco." "I wired Jake." "He thinks you're in Campeche." "I wonder when was the last time someone used this court?" "Fourteen or fifteen centuries ago, maybe." "The games here must've been incredible." "Look at this." "They even wore facemasks and shoulder pads." "Games were a little more serious than the ones you play." "They'd play for days." "The team that lost got their heads chopped off." "And the guys who bet on the game wagered themselves, even their children." "And if they lost, they were slaves." "You're going crazy here, aren't you?" "I think I'd be crazy if I weren't." "We're getting out." "To go where?" "Another place we don't belong?" "We could do better." "With what?" "I don't have the money Jake and your mother have, but so what?" "I'm taking care of you, aren't I?" "There's money in Mexico City." "What?" "Whose money?" "Mine." "Yours?" "Jake's." " Why didn't you tell me?" " I couldn't trust you for sure." "Since when couldn't you trust me?" " In the beginning." " What beginning?" "We've been in it since we saw each other." "Tell me!" "When did you start trusting me?" "It was a risk to trust you, all right?" "I never saw it that way." "I took the risk by letting you come with me." "You let me come with you?" "It would've been different if I were alone." "Do you think I'm caging you in or something?" "Well, it's true, isn't it?" "I'm standing in your way of freedom?" "Keeping you from your money-?" "You're twisting what I say." "Jesus, I love you!" "You've become everything I'm about!" "Can't anyone love me without it being life or death to them?" "Most people are afraid they're never going to be loved like that." "Terry, wait!" "I've lied and used people all my life because I thought everybody did." "Everyone except my brother, and look where it got him." "It's just so hard for me to trust anyone." "I'm not anyone." "I know." "I know you're not, and I'm trying." "I want to trust you." "God, I love you!" "I love you." "Come on." "The park's closing." "Let's go to the sweathouse." "There's somebody in here." " Where?" " There's somebody there." "Sully!" " What the fuck-?" " Sorry I walked in on you." "Walked in on me?" "What the hell are you doing here?" "What am I doing here?" "What are we doing here?" "You're in a lot of trouble." "I came to talk some sense into you." "You came here to talk to me?" "If a tired old guy like me can find you..." "What are you talking about?" "Who is he, Terry?" "Hank Sully." "He's with the Outlaws." "Jake sent him." "That's crazy." "I know his name!" "He called Jake at the house." "Talk to me, Sul." "Why did you leave the team in the middle of the season?" "Come on, talk!" "What do you want from me?" "That jackass Caxton and her old lady screwing up the team." "You know, if Mr. Wyler were alive, I'd be head coach." "I think about that a lot." "So I just figured, fuck it!" "I'd do something for me for a change." "I was close to you guys." "I knew who was in debt, and how deep." "So when Jake wanted I could always finger who was ready to break." "You're going home from here with nothing." "You know that." "Wise will send someone a lot tougher than me." "Hank, come on." "Man, this is crazy." " How much trouble are you in?" " Enough!" "I'm sorry." "Hold it!" "You're old and tired you're not out of your mind too?" "Hank, come on." "This is Terry, man!" "You don't know him, Terry!" "Just let me take her back with me." "Who's gonna hurt her?" "Wise?" "He worships her." "Back off, Sully!" "Goddamn you, Terry!" "She's worthless!" "Come on, Terry." "You're no good at this." "It was easy to find you." "Mexico City, Cuernavaca." "I was breathing down your neck and you didn't know it." "Come on, Terry." "I'm taking her back!" "Son of a bitch!" "Damn it, Sully!" "Go on and get it, Terry!" "Stop it!" "Get off him!" "You jackass!" "Stop!" " Come on, Terry." " Okay, stop." "Shut the fuck up!" "Back off, Sully." "Get away, please!" "See what you've done?" "Give me that fucking gun." "He grabbed the gun." "I couldn't help it." "Let's get out of here." "He's not dead!" "He will be, Terry." "There's no one to help him." "She's right." "Maybe I'll stop bleeding." "What do you think?" "Sure." "Sure." "You're full of shit, Brogan." " We gotta do something" " Do what?" "Take him to a Mexican jail?" "Are you crazy?" "It's not our fault." "We can explain!" "We can't, Terry!" "Let's just get out!" "Let's go." "Let's run!" "This isn't something we can run from!" "Oh, God!" "You're so innocent!" "You just don't understand!" "Do you?" "Come on, Sul, hang in there." "Bury me here, Brogan." "Forget that shit, will you?" "What are we doing down here?" "Oh, God." "Jess, no!" ""La senorita!" "Give it to me." "All right, I'm not spiking." "Nice." "You playing with your high heels on?" "Impressive!" "Now see, if I like a guy and it looks like I'll never see him again I don't worry." "You know why?" "Because I always get lucky." "Thanks, honey." "You're working up a sweat." "That's good." "I love sports, Terry." "You know that." "An Outlaws game is starting." "Tommy, head into town." "Call me after the games, okay?" "So did you notice?" "I'm walking without a limp." "You got your life together, Jake." "I'm impressed." "You know, Ter, there's never just one game." "There's always a whole mess of them." "Like life." "You get hit hard by one you get blessed by a couple of others." "You still like football?" "I love the game, myself." "Business and pleasure." "You got a new conditioning coach." "Did you know that?" "Sully's gone." "When are you going to tell me?" "What happened down there?" "I decided it was a shit job." "So you just walked away?" "You still looking for her?" "Didn't you find her yet?" "It's none of your business." "You didn't finish the job, so I don't owe you the money." "I figure you just came over to say we're still friends." "Tell me I'm right?" "I just wanted to tell you to eat it." "That's nice." "You have something on me?" "You hang me, you hang yourself." "Go to hell." "It's not that easy, Terry." "There's others involved." "It's just not you and me." "If you want to play football there's something you gotta do." "Another job." "It's gonna help both of us." "You didn't hear me, did you?" "It's finished with us." "Don't you feel you owe me a little something?" "She look great, or what?" "Christ, would you look at that defense?" "The whole team's out of shape without Sully." "Sully is missed." "I can tell you that." "Don't leave." "Stay and watch the game, man." "If you want you can even place a bet." "Some other time." "There's a party at the Palace tomorrow night." "You'll hear some good music." "And I'll tell you all about that job." "This is something you've got to do." "Because your career's all you got now, my friend." "So I'll expect you, right?" "Hey, get out of there!" "Get out!" "Get out of there!" "Have you been all right?" "Wait till I get my wind back." "Get your dog out." "Come on, Sam." "I think about you." "I think about you too, lady." "Let's leave it at that, huh?" "Understand who I am." "Someone's always been there to take care of things." "You weren't able to handle Sully." "I had to come back." "It was either Jake or my mother." "And I couldn't go to her." "Terry, he knows about Sully." "What's he know?" "What did you tell him?" "Terry, he could hurt us." "You mean he could hurt me." "Do what he wants and finish it with him." "Are you scared for me, Jess?" "You know, I've been down there looking for you." "I came back hoping somebody might know something." "I was worried." "You came back to this fuck." "I love you." "Oh, yeah, I noticed." "Todd, how you doing?" "Let's go upstairs and talk some football." " You're here to watch the show." " Catch me when I'm in the mood." "Hang out at the bar." "You want to talk, maybe Tommy will listen." "He never writes anything down." "I don't even know if he can write." "I don't trust" "Watch you mouth when you talk about Tommy." "Do you hear me?" "Now if not, okay, go play your money someplace else." "Go on." "I'll be in the bar." "He'll be at the bar." "How are you?" "Nice to see you." "Glad you showed up." "That's nice." "Came to get your stink off." "I'm not the one who blew this friendship, okay?" " Where's Jessie?" " She stayed home." "She's upset." "I don't know what it could be." " I think you've got a lot of friends." " Go mingle with them." "Tommy, show Terry to his table." "Talk to you later." "I want something in return." "I want a catalogue on Bob Marley." "Everything, all the records." "And I want live concerts." "Listen, if I ask him to..." "You heard about this band?" "It's supposed to be great." "What are you doing here?" "If you have something to say, say it and get out." "This guy looks familiar." "Why?" "Listen, smart ass, just get out of here." "Go ahead." " Friend of yours?" " Go ahead." "This guy the show?" "Sit down!" "You're such a prick." "Thank you!" "Well, the good news is that some of my best friends are here." "The bad news is, the rest of you are here." "It's a good thing I'm in music instead of comedy." "A great act tonight, straight from my hometown." "Where's my hometown?" "Nueva York, New York City." "The Big Apple." "Rotten to the core, as tonight's group will aptly demonstrate." "They think of themselves as tropical gangsters Kid Creole and the Coconuts." "Planning Commissioner Soames." "Dealing with politicians." "I'm a top sports accountant." "Soames has been a client for a long time." "I only deal with uptown people." "Like this guy I'm sitting with?" "Kirsch?" "This job I have for you it's got to do with Kirsch." "You're really coming up in the world." "Lawyers, politicians." "I've done business with Kirsch for a long time." "Yeah." "Sully too." "Sully kept me up on injuries." "Kirsch let me know what players wouldn't be renewed." "I had it great." "It's a shitty business, Jake." "Well, it's a shitty world." "You see, Kirsch and Sully fixed a game behind my back." "Kirsch placed what I thought was an off-the-wall bet." "But when he won big I paid the cocksucker." "He figured when I lost Jessie, I was ripe for being screwed." "Must be an epidemic." " How'd you find out?" " Your friend Sully." "Kirsch, the son of a bitch, cheated Sully." "He figured there would be some money telling me about it." "Poor fucking Sully." "I'd like to kick the shit out of Kirsch." "The asshole's got files on me." "And I'm the idiot who's supposed to get them?" "He's got records of the games." "Of the business I did with the players." "Know who that includes?" "You got no smart-mouth remark for that one?" "Here." "These will get you into Kirsch's building and office." "Sunday night." "Late." "It's a little dirty but not so dirty you won't sleep nights." "Why me?" "Why not Tommy?" "I want Tommy clean." "You?" "I was ready to be your friend for life." "You owe me." "This is what I want from you." "It's in our mutual interest." "As far as I'm concerned it finishes all the shit between us." "I'm missing the show." "What made you think you could handle Jessie?" "I bet you brought her flowers." "You don't have to when you're living in the jungle." "You just show her what tree you're gonna do it under." "Hell, we hit lots of trees." "Shit!" "Now you follow me into the toilet." "Give me a break!" "What is this?" "It's a warning." "Be careful." "Okay." "I'm going to be very careful, all right?" "Just fuck right off." "You think we're at the same table by accident?" "I figure the bet was you'd make a scene." "We'd be noticed." "Really?" "I'm looking out for myself." "I've done what I can for you." "Okay, fuck off." "I keep thinking of what I did to make me deserve you." "Go to hell." "I have." "You know that, lady!" "What's it like with Jake?" "When you two are doing it?" "Is he good?" "Shut up, Terry!" "Does he have a bigger cock than I do?" "Shut up!" "Do you know what he wants me to do?" "You and I have seen worse." "Jake's a gambler." "He thinks I took his luck when I took you." "I hit him too hard." "Then get out of it now." "But what about all the things you and I shared?" "What about Sully?" "You remember him?" "That guy we killed down there in the jungle." "He's got me one way or the other, doesn't he?" "Doesn't he?" "Yeah, go ahead, you rip the shirt off." "Come on." "Rip the shirt off." "Rip the fucking shirt off!" "What am I gonna do?" "Oh, Terry!" "I'm sorry." " I'm so sorry." " I love you." "Hold me." "Hold me!" "What are we gonna do?" "Is this Sam?" "Is this Sam?" "I bet it is Sam, is it?" "There's Sam." "Sam's crazy about me." "That's a fact." "You know, dogs kill for people they love." "Maybe Sam knows I'd kill for you." " What do you mean?" " See that?" "Now you're looking at me." "Why do I have to frighten you to get you to look at me?" "I give you everything you want." "Your mother and Caxton can't hurt me." "You're not even afraid of them anymore." "You know, when you came at me with a knife all I could think of was that you'd hurt yourself." "I'm not spitting in your face." "I just want you to let me go." "When we were first together it was so great." "I finally impressed those fucks in Beverly Hills." "Remember?" "You know what was even better?" "You were smart." "You really helped me." "But I don't care about any of that now." "I need you." "It's just not okay to be alone anymore." "No, Jake." "You ruined my life." "Goddamn it, I'm not gonna lose you." "He's got files on the business I did with the players." "You do want to play ball again, don't you, Terry?" "Sunday night." "Late." "It's a little dirty, but not so dirty you won't sleep nights." "Steve?" "Steve?" "This is what Jake owes you" "Jesus Christ!" "What?" "I hid the body." "They'll find it soon." "He killed him?" "He had him killed?" "Oh, my God!" "Not that it's any great loss, but..." "Jake Wise planted something up in his office to frame me." "I didn't find it in time." "They're all bastards." " All of them." " Look, Edie, I need your help." "You worked with Kirsch for a long time." "You'd knock the hell out of them." "What do you mean?" "I don't know what Jake planted." "But Kirsch kept a tiny treasure chest that could blow everybody up." "I shouldn't be this drunk." "Listen, if the booze helps..." "I can't believe this is my life." "Where was this box?" "I'd be too scared to do it." "You worked for Kirsch." "You knew most of what he knew." "Edie, they'll kill you too." "Edie, help me." " But it means..." " What?" "Going back there." "To Kirsch's office." "There shouldn't be a dog here." "Who the hell are you?" "I worked for Kirsch." "You must be the one who unemployed me." "Sit." "Are the others here?" "They're all over the building." "Looking for the body." "Some mess." "We're gonna find him." "Jake wants certain things out of the office right away." "Why?" "I guess he's a little jumpy." "Things seem to be disappearing, don't they?" "Your dog bothers me." "It's supposed to bother people." "Put him in there, please." "You're making this take much more time than it has to." "Mr. Wise is waiting for me." "Listen you're not a security guard." "But I belong here." "Now put the goddamn dog in there!" "Stay." "Hello, Mr. Wise." "No, we haven't found Kirsch's body." "Don't worry about it." "Don't get excited." "Gonna take it a floor at a time." "I'm sure of it." "No, we're in the office looking for those papers." "The ones you asked that girl to get." "Hey, come back here!" "Get back!" "You crazy bitch!" "Who are you?" "Goddamn it!" "Who the hell are you?" "You're dead!" "Run, Edie!" "Come on!" " Did you get the papers?" " Yes, I got them!" " Here, I'll park it for you." " I live here." "Jessica." "Hello, Mother." "You're looking well." "I need to see Ben." "I've missed you." "Please get Ben, Mother." "Please." "He's much too busy celebrating." "Bob Soames changed his vote on Wyler Canyon." "Why do you want Ben?" "I just wanna talk to him." " Talk to him tomorrow." " No, I need to speak to him now!" " Right now!" " Keep your voice down." "I'll embarrass you, Mother." "I'll just walk right in there and I'll be my sweet self." "Hello, Jessie." "Hello, Ben." "I have to talk to you, alone." " Excuse us." " Sure." "Let's go in there." "Jake's had Kirsch killed." "He's made it look like Terry did it." "He was trying to get Terry, but it's more than that." "He was fixing games and betting against his own bank." "Kirsch was making the bets." "Something's going down at Kirsch's." "Brogan wouldn't have gone back." "Why would he?" "He'd be crazy to." "Would you get over there and find out what's going on?" "You've gotten out of hand, Jake." "Come on, Tommy." "What've you done to me?" "He's here to help me, not hurt you." "The things you don't know." "This man that you, your mother and everybody thinks so much of he's my bank." "I work for him." "Ben?" "Ben!" "You told him everything, didn't you?" "Didn't you?" "Oh, God!" "You're still trying to kill me." "This time I might be dead." "I love you, Jessie." "Why did that have to be a bad thing?" "I didn't mean anything bad." "Your office is still busy." "That you, Brogan?" "Hello, Brogan." "Who's this?" "Hey, Senor Caxton!" "Couldn't catch the game tonight." "We won." "Listen, Brogan I'm getting into this because of my goddaughter." "I'll tell you, there's somebody else you gotta help." "Yourself." "I've just been in Kirsch's safe." "You know what he had in there?" "The goods on you Supervisor Phillips..." "a whole lot of people." "I know all about Soames." "You know, the commissioner who wanted to protect the environment but liked to bet on football too." "Guess he found out the two don't mix, didn't he?" "I think we should meet." "I got no problem with that." "In fact, I know a great place." "Wyler Canyon, in an hour." "The spot where you're gonna break ground." "I know the place." "That idiot football player you were going to get has got me by the balls." "Come on." "Jessie." "You too, Wise." "Your friend Brogan is a threat to me, Jessie." "I don't know what he wants, but it's got to be settled." "I can't believe this is you, Ben." "I think my mother would snap if she knew." "I get things done in this town." "And the people I work for, like your mother don't care how that happens." "Just that I do it." "She wants Wyler Canyon developed, but she can't get to everyone with campaign contributions." "So I have to go into business with some very strange people." "Like that asshole next to you." "I don't have to take this from you." "He's as dirty as I am." "He owns 75% of the book and 75% of the club." "I take the heat while he sits on his ass." "Shut him up, Tommy!" "He got you into this." "Now convince me you're not an asshole." "Come on, Tommy." "They'll never let you sit on top." "When you had Kirsch killed, you buried yourself." "You think they'll ever do business with you?" "Wise up!" "No one in Beverly Hills is ever gonna do business with a black man." "Shut up, Jake." "You're a dead man." "Not yet, Caxton." "Brogan won't beat anybody." "I'll get him." "You need me." "Put that gun away." "Take it, Jake." "My best friend?" "Brogan!" " Watch it, they've got a gun!" " Shut up, Jessie!" "That's okay, Jessie!" "Things have a way of getting messed up when you're in them." "What the hell are you doing, Brogan?" "This mountain's pretty important to you, isn't it?" "With what I got from Kirsch, I can knock your plans to hell!" "Mrs. Wyler wouldn't like that, would she?" "What do you want?" "Don't shoot!" "You're trying to kill me!" "What do you think?" "I wanna stay alive!" "What do you want?" "I didn't want you, Caxton!" "I want Jake's shit out of my life!" "Now I want yours out too!" "That's all you want?" "Why don't I believe you?" "Because you're a corrupt old man." "Your coverage stinks, Tommy." "What's your deal, Brogan?" "I found out tonight Jake jumps for you." "Slap him down." "It's that fucking simple." "I'll keep Kirsch's stuff until I'm satisfied." "That can be arranged." "Are you crazy?" "Don't let this punk beat you." "It can still work." "The trainer, the lawyer and the player cheating on the fix!" "Knock it off!" "Drop the gun." "Drop the fucking gun." "Take the gun away from her head." "You're not gonna hurt her." "You wanna gamble with me, Terry?" "Go ahead." "Go ahead." "Take the gun away." "You're my friend." "You know me." "Take your shot." "Don't do it, Terry." "He won't hurt me." "I'm not gonna take that chance." "Thattaboy." "Don't think about it." "I'll blow you away." "Step back." "Step fucking back." "Who's gonna be a dead man, Caxton?" "Not me." "It's gotta be Terry." "What makes somebody your friend, Jake?" "How much shit they'll do for you?" "Jake, don't do it." "Jake, I love him!" "Right in my face." "Right in my fucking face." "I'll blow him the fuck" "Keep away from her, Brogan." "You can't help her with this." "But you can, Caxton." "I think so." "But it means doing things my way." "I want that stuff from Kirsch." "And Jessie's going back where she belongs." "You'll leave him alone, Ben." "I'll do what you want, but you'll leave him alone." "What I'm most happy about is the opportunity to share this land." "It's beauty and the beauty around it won't be sitting up here alone anymore, just going to waste." "I'm sharing what I believe is the best location on the West Side." "Close to Century City and the ocean." "We won't crowd the hillsides." "Each owner will feel that the canyon belongs to him." "A sanctuary from the crowding and crime of the city below us." "Specifically, I'd like to acknowledge three public officials without whose generous support we wouldn't be here:" "Supervisor Ed Phillips Councilman Leonard Weinberg..." "Stay here." "Just remember your promise, Ben." "...and the head of the commission, Bob Soames." "Thank you, gentlemen." "Now for the big moment." "This was the only way you could get a look at her, eh?" "Nothing stops progress, does it?" "We had to put it off for six months until things died down in the press." "Moving 5 million yards of earth." "Enough to fill dump trucks from here to Nova Scotia." "This town does belong to people like you." "You and her mother control what she says and does." "There's nothing in the news that isn't the way you wanted it." "Jake Wise did things even he'd freak out about." "There's a lot of sympathy for her." "Well, there should be." "It didn't seem to hurt you, Brogan." "I heard you got some tryouts with good teams." "I'm playing with the Dolphins." "That's one you couldn't put a stop to, could you?" "I'll be ready." "Couple of good years and I'll quit on my own." "So you're going to leave L.A. Good." "When you need me in court, I'll be there for her." "But forget anything else." "Remember, Brogan, you're out of her life." "I figure that's up to her." "You're not gonna control us forever." "Believe me."

"Agnes, cancel my appointments." "What appointments?" "Wishful thinking." "It's called, "Alternative Energy:" "The Key to a Brighter Tomorrow."" "Notice all the animals wearing sunglasses?" "Because it's a brighter tomorrow?" "Yeah." "My boys are in elementary and don't make as many dioramas as we do." "The Environmental Club is making them for Green Week." "This afternoon, in the cafeteria, we're having a Bio-Diorama-Rama." "I heard one kid made a diorama about a world without dioramas." "I sleep over at your place tonight?" "Totally." "We're both done with classes, we can start the sleepover now." "Let's get in our pajamas and build a blanket fort." "A blanket fort." "Wow." "You can come hang out with us." "Uh, thanks, but I think I'll find something more grown-up to do." "Hmph." "Okay, enjoy eating fiber and watching The Mentalist." " Britta, that wasn't nice." " I'm sorry, Shirley." "But who wants to hang out in a blanket fort with grown men in tiny Underoos?" "Hello." "So, Jeffrey, I was just looking over your class schedule." "Why?" "Uh, maybe it was a random spot check." "Maybe it was a specific spot check." "Maybe I'm making a scrapbook." "The point is, you will not be receiving credit for your independent study:" ""Conspiracy Theories in U.S. History."" "What?" "Why not?" "Because the class doesn't exist and neither does the teacher, Professor Professorson?" "What?" "That's his name, it's Dutch." "Oh." "I think it means professor." "I think it means poppycock." "The ultimate Jeff Winger blow-off class." "The one that doesn't exist." "Now I have to audit an entire system for shenanigans, which means, bye-bye, weekends." "Bye-bye, writing at Starbucks till a certain Persian barista asks me about my novel." "God, Jeff, it's one thing to blow off regular classes, but this devalues all the credits I work very hard for." "Can I defend myself and say this is nuts?" "I've been meeting with this professor, in his office, every Wednesday, all semester." "Professor Professorson?" "Yes." "Really?" "You're gonna commit to this?" "Commit to what?" "Reality?" "Okay, then, please, lead me to Professor Professorson." "Gladly." "This I got to see." "I've dreamt of playing charades with you, just not like this, and not on dry land." "Oh, man." "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "You thinking what I'm thinking?" "We're too big for this, aren't we?" "Yeah." "If we went two pillows higher in the corner we could vault the ceiling." "Bump up the square footage." "Make this a blanket fort for men." "Well, here we are, Professor Professorson's office." "Oh." "Oh." "I don't know what's going on." "Believe me." "I've spent a whole year studying conspiracy theories with Professor Professorson right here." "Wait." "Of course." "Conspiracy theories." "This is a test." "He's teaching me about real conspiracies by erasing his existence." "My God, do you know what this means?" "That's how stupid Jeff thinks other people are." "I knew you were lazy, but I didn't realize you'd stoop to such pathetic lies." "One man's lies are another man's truth, wouldn't you say, Jeff?" "I'm sorry, and who are you?" "I'm Professor Professorson." "Wow." "You really had me going there for a second." "I thought I was going insane." "Precisely." "An actual conspiracy to round out your education in conspiracies and theories thereof." "Your real name is Professor Professorson?" "My family name is Professorberg, but we changed it when we were fleeing from the Nazis." "I'm so sorry." "You've never heard of me, I primarily teach night school." "My faculty ID." "Huh." "Well, I guess I've never stuck around late enough to meet you night school professors." "TV's gotten crazy good, you know." "Well, I have to take this." "Thank you for indulging me, dean." "Jeff, read chapters 10 through 12 of Douglas and see you next week." "That is, if I still exist." "See you, professor." "Sorry to doubt you, Jeffrey." "More importantly, out with this audit, back to chapter one of:" "Time Desk:" "The Chronicles of Dean Dangerous." "That is gonna be the worst book I'll ever read cover to cover." "I'm a terrible friend." "I accused you of being a lying cheat." "Can you ever forgive me?" "Sure." "Here's the thing, though:" "I've never seen that guy in my life." "What?" "That wasn't Professor Professorson?" "There is no Professor Professorson." "I made him up." "I forged a form with a phony teacher and class for a free credit." "I knew it." "Oh." "You lying cheat." "Wait, then," "Who was that?" "I don't know." "Wait, what?" "I don't know." "What should we do?" "We should grab some lunch." "I'm serious." "So am I." "I saw Fat Neil headed to the cafeteria." "We got 10 minutes to grab the last lima bean." "You made up a professor and he appeared out of thin air." "You're not curious how that happened?" "My latest theory?" "I'm a god." "I've denied the signs." "So typical, you're gonna blow off what happened?" "Yes, especially when not blowing it off might cost me my free credit." "Now, do me a favor, be very un-Annie and blow it off too." "Oh, sure." "Oh, I'll just blow it off." "I'll just blow everything off." "Heck, I guess I'll blow off walking." "Okay." "And now I'll just blow off standing." "I'm just blowing everything off." " Excuse me." " I'll blow off talking language." "Okay." "Hey, bros, what's the haps?" "Whoa." "Sweet fort." "Can I come inside?" "Can you give us a second?" "Corn you gorben..." "Bluh..." "You could, Pavel." "Or maybe the inside could come to you." "How would you characterize the amount of blankets and pillows you have?" "A buttload." "I get wicked cold, bros." "Mad sleepy." "If you're here to help me take my diorama to the Bio-Diorama-Rama," "I can do it myself." "Yes, you made that clear in your 11 th "I can do it myself" text." "You even work too hard at passive aggression, you know that?" "Hey, so do you know anything about Greendale's night school?" "Yeah, I'm assuming it's the worst thing you could ever hope to be in, only at night." "Damn it." "You've been playing detective?" "You'll Nancy Screw me out of my credit." "Relax." "I only asked the administration desk if I could borrow a faculty directory." "And take a look at this." "Is that Professorson?" "His real name is Professor Woolley." "And he actually does teach night school here." "Why would someone you've never met pretend to be your professor?" "He was carrying falsified faculty credentials." "You know what this means?" "Yes, you are making me do work for my fake conspiracy class." "Exactly, there's a conspiracy here." "A dark, vast conspiracy that may just go all the way to the top." "This is Greendale, Annie." "If there's a conspiracy, it goes all the way to slightly below the middle." "Wait a minute." "Something's wrong." "My car won't start." "Hold on one second." "Hello." "Tell your little friend to stop snooping around night school." "Otherwise, things might get explosive." "Annie!" "You okay?" "Yeah." "I probably didn't need to tackle you." "Probably not." "Looks like someone sent us a message." "A tiny, thoroughly underwhelming message." "I hope you've already laid out your outfit for tomorrow morning." "Because we're going to night school." "I stole these from my son's house." "When does a fort stop being a fort?" "Hey, as long as it's still made out of blankets, right?" "These will be perfect for the Pierce's Mom Memorial Tunnel." "So this is night school, but where's Professor Woolley's class?" "How about this one?" "No, that's Professor Huyck's class:" ""History of Something." You can't pronounce it?" "It literally says "History of Something."" "Let me see that." ""Principles of Intermediate"?" ""Studyology"?" ""Class 101"?" "Look, this one just says "Learning!" With an exclamation point." "Hello, Professor Professorson." "Or should I say Woolley?" "What class are you teaching tonight?" "Math." "Math?" "Uh-huh." "Do you mind if we sit in?" "Not at all." "Right this way." "So, what kind of math do you teach, professor?" "Oh, you know, math." "Uh..." "Numbers." "Pi." "New math." "Um..." "Get him." "He went into that blanket fort." "I think he went this way." "You see him?" "No." "Come on." " Troy, Abed." " Hey, Annie." "Welcome to Fluffy Town." "No smoking, no farting." "We're in a chase." "That's allowed." "There he is." "Follow us." "But afterwards you should really check out our civil rights museum." " Leonard, back up." " You shouldn't even be in here." "You have three farting strikes." "He's getting away." "I know a shortcut through the Turkish district." "Hey, man." "Britta?" "Hey." "Go." "There he is." " What the hell is this?" " Latvian Independence Parade." "Don't look at me, they had the proper permits." "Dang it." "We lost him." "I sent the diorama car to the chem lab to have the explosive analyzed." "We could..." "Isn't that him playing the trejdeksnis?" "Nice try, Woolley." "Now tell us everything." "Tell you?" "I'll show you." "What is this place?" "This, Annie, is night school." "Every student, every teacher, every class." "Figments." "Puffs of hot air from the lips of a ghost in the shadow of a unicorn's dream." "I made it up." "Night school doesn't exist." "I used to be a student here at Greendale like you." "Then one day, I invented a fake course to get a free credit." "I had to create a fake teacher, who needed other fake classes that needed to be filled with fake students and so on, and so on, and so on, exchetera." "Did you just mispronounce "et cetera"?" "My Latin class was fake, Jeff." "Like all my classes, like my life." "Aren't you listening?" "Yeah, I am." "And a very familiar feeling is starting to come over me." "Someone is trying to teach me something." "Jeff, the only thing that's ever been learned in this room is regret." "Would that this desk were a time desk so that I could correct my past mistakes, ride dinosaurs." "Fight with Jack the Ripper." "Wait a minute, wait a minute." "Unicorns?" "Ghost lips?" "Time desks?" "Doesn't any of this overly stylised garbage remind you of anyone?" "Everything this guy says is ripped from the sure-to-be-unpublished pages of Dean Dangerous." "I don't know what you mean." "Oh, I think you do." "By the way, next time you walk someone to your fake lair, don't pass the Theater Department." "Drama Professor Sean Garrity." "Whoa." "Thank God." "That character was killing me." "Word of advice, if you ever scrape the dean's car, don't tell him you're gonna pay him back in acting." "On Thanksgiving, I'm supposed to crash his family dinner and accuse him of stealing my girlfriend." "Wow." "I guess this did go all the way to the top." "I'm calling the dean right now and giving him a piece of my mind." "No, wait." "Garrity." "Does the Theater Department have any of those prop guns that fire blanks?" "Of course." "We did a modern retelling of Macbeth set in gangland Chicago." "Oh, fresh take." "And you think I'm lazy." "Prop guns?" "Jeff, what do you have in mind?" "A little demonstration for the dean on the dangers of trying to educate me." "He doesn't like fake classes?" "Well, he's about to get a real lesson on the fact that Jeff Winger never learns." "Here he comes." "Get set." "You wanted to see me?" "Oh." "Hi, Mr. Professorson." "His real name is Woolley." "And he's defrauded your school to the tune of dozens of credits per year and nearly twice as many dollars." "That's serious." "Fortunately, I'm a big believer in second chances." "I'm not." "Annie!" "Annie." "Oh, my God!" "You shot him." "Of course, I shot him." "He was being dishonest." "And if there's one thing Greendale's taught me, it's..." "What the hell?" "She had a gun." "It was a fake gun." "We staged this to get back at you." "Oh, you're the deceiver, Jeffrey." "Yeah?" "Well, now you're the dead guy." "Jeff, what are you doing?" "Why do you have a real gun?" "Why did you shoot the dean?" "Well, he shot you." "Not really." "He and I were in on this from the start." "He found out you were faking a class he came to me and we cooked up this thing to illustrate the slippery slope of academic fraud." "You know what you actually illustrated, Annie?" "How to be a crappy friend." "Once it was obvious the dean had orchestrated everything, it was even more obvious the dean was too stupid to orchestrate anything." "Mm-hm." "So on a hunch, I called him and we hatched a plan to teach you a lesson or two about friendship." "But, Jeff, I only did it because I love you." "Well, when you love someone, you have take them as they are." "People aren't playthings, Annie." "No, they are not." "Look who's talking." "After everything you've put me through?" "Okay, where did you get that gun?" "There were only three prop guns." "I live in a terrible neighborhood." "Annie, put the gun down." "After we kissed, I waited all summer to see you." "You buried me like a shameful secret." " Whoa." " What's the matter, Jeff?" "Afraid crazy Annie would go crazy for you?" "Well, guess what." "Annie's got a gun." "Annie, just put the..." "Annie, what have you done?" "If you love Jeff Winger so much, why did you conspire with me against him?" "I don't know." "I can't keep track of any of it anymore." "I just keep teaming up with whoever suggests it." "Glad to hear you admit it." "Aah!" "Aah-aah!" "When I called you to ask you to double-cross Annie, you didn't hesitate." "Do you understand what a conspiracy is?" "If you conspire with every person, you're not even really conspiring with anyone, you're just doing random crap." "I know, I'm sorry." "I just..." "I just want to have fun with you guys." "I go crazy cooped up in my little office and..." "Time travel is really hard to write about." "Okay." "If I'm keeping track right, we should be done." "I'll just take these back to the Theater Department." "Police!" "Drop the weapons!" "Down on the ground." "Don't shoot, don't shoot!" "Please, they're fake." "Those were prop guns." "Well, I guess it just goes to show you, prop guns belong backstage." "And scene." "You have got to be kidding me!" "Professor Garrity told me what all of you were up to." "Made me mad." "Guns aren't toys." "Fact, in 100 percent of all fake-gun-related shootings, the victim is always the one with the fake gun." "Hey, Sean, you got breakfast plans?" "I do now." "So, Sean?" "We're still on for Thanksgiving, right?" "Just talk to your father, Craig." "Would that this hoodie were a time hoodie." "Hey, dean, how about that credit?" " No!" " Damn it." "I'm not sure what lessons we've managed to teach each other, but I'm proud of Annie." "She took to deception like Abed took to Cougar Town." "It's really good." "Especially when she went off-script." " You said to be convincing." " Check it out, bros." "You made the front page." "You know what this means?" "We've gone mainstream." "Initiate Protocol Omega." "Hey." "We've started looting." "Hey, that old, crabby man just stole my TV." "Wanna build a cardboard submarine?" "Get out of my brain." "Once." "Upon." "A. Time." "There." "Was." "A..." "Big." "Spaceship." "And." "Aliens." "And." "Mercenaries." "And?" "War." "And?" "Betrayal." "And?" "Romance?" "And?" "Karate." "And?" "Credits." "The." "End." "We should write a screenplay together." "Cool." "Cool, cool."

"Hey god give me blessings" "how much you will take my exam?" "Why this is happening with me in this house?" "3 years has been passed i got the license from government since 3 years i'm praying you" "give me one big bridge contract atleast give me one shopping complex contract" "or atleast give me a bus stand contract or anything like this i'm asking since 3 years what you have given me?" "Only roads and tunnel contracts how can i live?" "You think how can i live?" "If they wont pass my bill on time then how can i pay to my workers?" "Yesterday my assisstant rangeela took rs 1000 from me" "pls tell to rangeela dont waste money like this i'm a poor guy" "one more thing tell them to dont eat so much" "you started in the morning we have to put cotton in the ear" "he is doing throat exercise" "he thinks his biggest enemines are in his own house his elder brother and you 2 gaytri is right or he could sell this house" "yesterday one contractor told me the rate of this house what is so use of this?" "Can you sell this house?" "Do one thing, hang this palace on your neck you are clever man, why dont you tell him this?" "I have many other good works to do" "all the works he has done, all done by cheating and he wants me to tell everyone that he is right because of it muncipalty is not ready to give him bill and he put a case on muncipalty i'm trying my best to get my transfer from here" "tell him to stop praying and if he wanna eat then breakfast is ready today he was complaing to god daily brother prays are increasing" "god knows when his life will stop" "just clear my bill" "you are fooling peoples now you start with god" "when i start, i cant stop" "what kishan told you?" "Will he give you anything?" "Now i cant bear this last night your father slept at 2 am then tell him to sleep on time but if you do party at night then how he will sleep?" "You have to keep this in mind that this is not a beer bar" "school vacations are about to come" "yesterday i had collected the cheques and i also have given the commission that chief engineer was asking 1 lac extra" "why?" "We had decided everything" "is there any guy left whom you did not take loan?" "Hey i'm talking to you he asked 10000 loan from my peon" "that guy haven't seen 10000 together in his life so whata the big deal?" "Since long time i haven't seen 1000" "i will say one thing no matter i asked for loan but i never used your name" "do you have your name?" "Dont mess with me in the morning mother give me boil eggs" "do hard work and earn money if you are earning in a right way than its ok where is your daughter?" "She is in mumbai." "I'm trying to transfer her here because my wife is sick she cant walk without stick she needs someone to take care of her" "mother is saying to come and have breakfast" "one day i will also buy mercedes like this you will drive it you are now working for brother in law then you will work for me yes sure" "we cant give payment daily tell them to take by the end of every week" "listen today is the last day of the week if you wont give money today then we will close work from monday" "work shouldn't be close do one thing, hold this" "sell this and pay to everyone" "what are you doing?" "They always check on the corners" "if you cant put correct material in the centre then cars will go under earth leave something on god." "Do as i'm saying" "if this road will lasts for one year then next year we wont have any work to do" "what will happen to this country?" "First i will become something then i will think about country" "he says if you dont give money then dont eat here what me what i do?" "It takes 2.5 hour for lunch if this will go like this then it will take 2 more weeks to complete the road if you arrange everything here then we will cook and eat here" "i'm going to muncipalty office, i've heard new commissioner is coming" "in this country nothing will be good with a good man and bad peoples get everything" "you are right" "go from here fast" "are you tired of riding bicycle?" "You still remember my name what a memory he has" "where you will be tomorrow?" "Tomorrow i will come there i have to return your 130000 dont you dare to make me remember everything dont you feel shame" "why dont you keep on your tongue?" "You go from here}" "what are you doing?" "Talk slowly i'm a big contractor." "I know" "last time you told me i will return in 3 days i told 3 months" "come here" "they wont give you money, i give you one idea next week its your daughter wedding" "give him the contract" "he is right" "what are you doing?" "If i give you one work then will you do it?" "Yes i will do." "I have many small workers" "pick the phone" "many people died" "now how many left?" "65 died on the spot" "are you mad?" "I know i put small amount of cement what is need of putting iron in small quantity?" "It was your responsibility" "arrest warrant is released on all 3 of your names i will handle it" "until when it will happen?" "Do you know any person whom you blame this?" "What is the name of your driver?" "You call me sir?" "Look at this" "what happen?" "Bridge is broken." "Many people died he was about to commit suicide" "harish what happen?" "It was better than going to jail" "uncle please help us what can i do?" "Take this blame on you just tell them you put a bomb under that bridge" "what are you saying?" "You will get 1 lac and your daughter will get transfer too" "if police will ask then?" "If they ask from where i bring the bomb then?" "Then tell them i steal from the mountains?" "You cant do this for us?" "You are like our father" "say as we told you" "now we need only 2 persons who will say that we have seen him there" "he got the bail" "did they beat you?" "No its ok" "you have done so much for us" "i trust you you go inside and take rest" "what do you think?" "It will end here?" "You dont understand what he wanna say?" "He wont say anything what are you saying?" "I'm saying correct" "if lawyer will ask anything then this old man will say everything and if anyone see him then they will kill him" "now what we do?" "He shouldn't say anything if you say yes then" "i dont believe." "He cant do this there is something behind it father its right he was asking for double salary and we said no" "we said ok leave it" "how he said this?" "This is now become a big problem" "bridge is not blasted with a bomb and contractor driver did not commit suicude" "i dont wanna talk to you my wife and son was in that bus now i dont have any family" "look i also feel bad for this" "i dont want money i dont come here to take money" "give them punishment" "give me that" "he come to save my husband and brother" "he will write as i say come here" "sit" "what is your name?" "Say you did not listen?" "He just said put the ice" "you dont know how to treat with guests?" "Go inside" "who thief?" "Tell this to father you are hiding from father since 3 days i'm not hiding" "are you coming or not?" "Ok i'm coming" "why you have remove it?" "Let it on let me see it" "what is all this?" "Buy a parrot, you will earn more" "you also used that money" "dont think i'm useless one day i will become a very big contractor" "you no need to learn it, you got this since birth" "we wont have place to store them will you do one work for me?" "I dont want share in abusing words one day you will proud of me go out from here" "i will return one in the evening" "he wont understand" "go there and see anytime they will come." "Is everything ready?" "I think they have come" "where is the boy?" "They are labours" "how much time it will take to complete this work?" "Minimum 5 days" "i have the world's best workers" "what you have break?" "Now i will kill you" "sir they have come guests have come" "finish the work in 2 days" "i paid 1 lac for this photo" "how it break?" "I know this what i do with them?" "You know how expense it is?" "Come and see what he has done take this money from him" "dont leave him" "i did not drop it" "what you have done?" "Clean it fast i'm watching" "clean fast" "he dropped colors on the sweets and look at my condition" "ready my daughter they came to make my home good but they destroyed my home" "throw him out" "you should buy for one week i did not buy this, i steal it from my house" "why you are crying?" "Is your mother dead?" "Go and do your work" "how is everything?" "We have rice and grains but no space to cook" "dont worry i handle her can i show you?" "You may be heard my name" "i'm the owner of tihkkule and tichkule company my company made that bus stop" "we dont wanna made anything i'm not a beggar" "i have so many work to do" "i take care of my workers" "i need a small place in your house to cook my manager said you told them no" "i have to ask my husband first" "ok but do it fast we will do it fast" "thanks" "i told you she wont agree" "they agreed" "why you are looking so lazy?" "I'm having headache i will come tomorrow" "you did not buy salt" "how can we cook food now?" "You need only salt." "I bring it" "give me some salt." "I forget to buy" "how dare you to look there?" "I came to borrow onion" "what happen?" "Whole day nobody eat food" "i understand who is behind it you did not do anything?" "I wont leave him no i tell him who m i?" "I know everything he beat you without any reason" "call that fat man out" "my workers mean alot to me dont you dare to open your mouth" "your husband abuse my workers i will take revenge" "call your brother" "wake up brother" "police is outside" "this fat man beat my workers i will beat them more" "you couldn't do this after my death?" "Who is behind this?" "Go inside" "is father sleeping?" "Why you did this?" "How can i go to college now?" "Listen to me" "i swear i did not do this" "this highway project is of 3000 crores" "if you give everything to leaders then what will we get?" "We are not earning that much i know how much you are earning" "give me just 5% of your income then we will do this" "we are doing this for sanjay rana" "you are going to college?" "I'm also going there i will go by bus" "what happen angili?" "How you come here?" "I wanna talk to you not infront of everyone i'm coming" "you saved my brother" "i know what you do dont do this on me" "i will kill you" "come come do you remember what i told you?" "I'm sorry for being late" "i dont know anything" "why you were teasing the girls?" "I was just checking whether she is a girl or not?" "He is a headache for us everytime he asks what is behind bra?" "Your grand mother is behind bra" "go from here" "go back to work do you have money?" "I want to give it to workers for food" "how much we have to pay there?" "Is this your chain?" "I just steal this from my mothers cupboard" "let me meet the commissioner" "go your work is done" "you may be know many peoples are living under poority limit do you know why?" "Because of people like you" "last year management told us that our staff is increased samething is repeating this year and this year our teacher is targeting us" "how was my speech?" "I think you did not sleep whole night if you write and learn speech whole night than this will happen" "i'm not interested to become a leader i'm also not interested" "i'm coming" "in the evening i will drop you at house take care of yourself" "what is going on?" "Most of the students are ready to not give the exams its a good news" "there is a problem one of girls group wanna give exams" "it will create problem" "then our strike will go in water do you know who will go first?" "She wont go" "yesterday i told you for not giving exams" "you cant go inside everybody knows we love each other then you cant do this" "somebody likes study and somebody dont like if i wont give exams then i will have lose" "my father worked alot for my studies if he ask me why you did not give exams then what i will give?" "For strike?" "If you go there than all girls will come with you its not my problem" "i'm saying you cant go inside i will go" "i will check" "today it was the decision day in court you did not come thats why i was come to meet you" "sachin tichkule won the case" "i dont believe it" "its first time her lawyer told that muncipalty dont have money" "now we have our own road roller now we no need to borrow money from anyone" "my streets will be off steel" "its time for celebration" "father where are your feet?" "I told brother one day he will proud of me and that day has come" "i'm going to do good work, dont say this now give me blessings" "now go" "with red paint all formalities are completed, now you can take road roller" "its a government office, dont shout here" "i was just saying my feelings go and show this feelings on your house take this road roller and go from here" "bring bed and sleep here" "i will break it" "you did not come to see" "its the slap of your face come all and see how a normal person win and muncipalty lost" "shame on you" "i say sorry to you, please forgive me" "you cant drive this you need a separate license for this do you know any driver?" "I know one driver, he is my neighbour can i bring him?" "What are you saying?" "If road roller brake fails then?" "Then?" "Then i got an idea" "you should went out of roller people were shouting" "then a leader and and gave me award at the same place?" "No after 3 to 4 days" "he said you are god he said this by looking at your face are you making fun of me?" "M i kidding?" "Go and find someone else i believe you" "what foolish man bring with you?" "Is he mad?" "Give me keys" "go with right hand" "i know it" "once this roller will run, i will pay you your money" "i will repair it" "i just put diesel in it ok i will repair it." "Give me screw driver" "which you switch it off?" "From where you bring him?" "Go down" "i will repair it" "there is a problem in spark plug give me tool" "i become black, when you came here you were black too what happen now?" "Gear box is broken, i repair it" "now i know what is the main problem of it i have to take out its whole gear box" "it will take much time" "what we have to do now?" "Call mechanic and take out gear box do as he is saying" "its air is correct" "give me one minute" "i dont want anything" "do one thing, sit on my legs" "you did not bring the road roller?" "Its your property now, and its parked on our property if you did not take it from here then i have to charge you rent for this place" "if you did not bring then i will charge you rs 10000 per day" "if you did not pay rental then take over it" "you are keep saying that i repair it now i cant give its guarantee" "for what?" "For destroying it" "who told you to open it?" "Dont create scene here" "do everything and take it out from here first tell him to repair it" "who is mad?" "Now i cant bear it" "we dont have any other way" "i bring the elephant" "brother wake up" "why you are increasing father's worries?" "What happen?" "Did you break someone's house?" "You go outside, i'm coming" "go fast you come" "brother run away he tried to kill him" "i say sorry for him" "you have to pay him i'm also ready for it you have to come to police station" "tell me one thing is he your son?" "Mother is calling you for food i dont wanna eat" "father has already paid them" "you think its your bad time then everything will be changed one day my brother will become a big man and i will be proud of you" "now lets go and eat if you wont eat then i will also dont eat" "can i come inside?" "I wanna tell you something we have done some mistakes" "what do you want?" "I cant do anything, go and ask engineer" "she said talk to engineer he will agree" "whatever is in your pocket, give it to him" "can i come inside?" "Forget this that we are relatives for one minute comissioner told me to meet you" "what told you i take money?" "What is going on here?" "He told me that you told him i take black money" "this man is a big problem i dont want that police will come here take your money and go from here" "rs100 is less in it go from here." "Where you throw?" "Is he your relative?" "It was my bad luck." "I did not know he belong to the same family" "thats why i'm saying anjili should marry soon" "a boy loves anjili" "he is not an ordinary man because of his money, he can get any girl" "now i dont have money now its your duty to take her responsibility" "what is this?" "Then what this bill is for?" "I wont go on cycle my foots cant touch the floor" "what kinda party?" "Your sister is getting married and you did not invite us that printing guy told me in the bus that he is printing cards" "your sister is getting married with sanjay rana you dont know this?" "I wanna talk to you" "but i wanna know m i your son?" "Then why i came to know from outside that my sister is getting married" "dont give speech we dont need brother like you" "you wasted all the money nothing" "your brother and brother in law have lots of money their childrens study in big schools" "your mother is a maid here and there is no value of my words here" "if we dont listen to them then anjili wont marry ever" "i dont wanna know" "lts my last wish that i will die here" "bring the money and marry your sister wherever she wants" "i wanna tell you something what?" "I need some money" "doctor told me that they have to do operation" "doctor told me that i have to pay rs 5000" "i need some money" "i said its my sister wedding" "i was talking about marriage you told me its you mother wedding" "we have only curry" "is curry ok?" "What is your problem?" "Its my sister wedding" "what is your problem?" "Your sister died my sister is not died, its her wedding" "how many time you took loan from me?" "Can you give us some money?" "Engineer and commissioner is coming, i think they will inspect the road" "wait you cant dig here i wanna check the material if you wanna check then check on side" "you cant destroy this road" "i should had do this before there is no correct sand and material in the road" "for this i have to take binacolar may all the material went inside the land" "we have to stop this go and tell this to a donkey, i'm already doing it" "mind your language you dont know me, i'm very bad" "i dont have nothing to lose" "i dont care dont mess with him" "house keys are on table when you go to office, take them with you" "listen whatever you wanna say, come to office i dont have any work from you is your brother is at house?" "He went outside" "he gave us some money" "its better to beg on the road, rather than borrow money from you what do you think of yourself?" "I have to numbers of the notes that you have in your hands" "you took black money from sachin to pass his bills he told me to give this to my brother" "now this powder is in your fingers please believe me." "Dip your hand in it" "we have to arrest you" "she committed suicide she is taking her last breathes" "she is in room no.104" "how is gehna?" "She is out of danger" "i never think of this i dont come here to say sorry because i know i dont deserve forgiveness" "i became blind" "after a long time we met on strange situation" "i was feeling myself very small" "i thought when i become something then i will come back because i was walking on a correct way" "your sister called me she wanna meet you" "who are you?" "Tell her i'm her brother tell her brother has come nobody is at home." "Sir and madam gone in wedding party they will come late" "where were you?" "We were searching for you" "he is azaad bhagat and he is sachin how do you know him?" "He was stealing something from my sister house" "i think you have a misunderstanding but he is not a thief" "where you find it?" "I searched by myself" "i need your help look at these files, it has many truths" "where is that red file?" "I lost it." "Why you write everything?" "Thats why i have to make files for everyone everybody knows who is thief" "what about remaining 200 crores?" "Everybody took his money and you all are blaming me?" "Leader told me to buy cement from his relative he gave me white powder instead of cement" "i made the biggest mistake of my life by giving you contract" "what about that pipe line?" "You placed 2 feet pipes in it and this engineer is involved in it" "the money we saved in pipe lines, we used in making farm house do you any record?" "I knew it you will do this thats why i record everything" "if i got arrested then i will say everyone's name" "nobody will go inside and that commissioner wont do any case too" "i know what i have to do" "from now he will sit on your seat but nobody told me this" "if truth is open than big names will come out" "i dont need anyone's help" "i have whole record truth and justice is still in the house" "operation theatre is busy, you wait here" "may be she commit suicide and if she is still alive then she will be killed" "where you have hide the red file?" "They know where is that red file?" "I dont know how they know we cant take risk" "tell him that i took the bag i will call him" "if i would know this that you live here than i would not give my sister i'm saying kill him" "you killed the hands that give you food you did not succeed like your brother in law because ofjealousy you put them in jail" "it would be better if you give us poison let her speak" "because i'm about to say when they were taking my younger sister, why you were not crying?" "Where were these faces?" "Because you love you husbands more, or you knew your husbands are responsible" "on that time i did not had permission to speak if on that time i spoke something, then my sister would not die" "your husbands are still alive but my daughter is died" "when newspaper were about to bring the reality outside then they give them money and they blame uncle" "after that their husbands are not saved" "i have decided i wont stay in this house" "i say sorry for everything" "i will go anywhere but i will never let your face down its my promise" "whatever you have done, is correct i'm proud of you" "are you leaving everything?" "I need some peace dont know what i will do in future" "and everyone wants you start work again and they are saying that i give you work they are saying thats why you are giving me work?" "You did not ask one question from me?" "Why i did not marry?" "Let me ask now why you did not marry?" "Always i was feeling that one day i will meet you i know without you my life will be incomplete" "so when you are going to change your name?"

"Once, I was on top of the world." "I was a major-league hedonist and lived like god in Amsterdam." "What could go wrong?" "A Woman Goes to the Doctor" "An ode to love" "PART ONE STIJN CARMEN" "I was hard at work one day when she walked in." "The most beautiful woman in the western hemisphere, and far beyond." "Yes, wow!" "Scored!" "So we buy the best Dutch commercials and sell them to foreign companies." "That way we all make money off it." " Great idea." "Who came up with that idea?" " Me." "You?" "And why?" " Because of types like you." "Types like me?" "I'm sure you think your clients should have a huge portrait of you on their wall." "Stijn van Diepen..." "from Brabant, I assume?" "Yes..." "Breda." "In the south of Holland." "Breda?" " A small town, 500 km north of Paris." "And you?" "Where are you from?" " Amsterdam." "So you're a real Amsterdammer who thinks the world is flat." "Leave the city and you'll fall off the edge." "A little bit, yes." "But, you wouldn't fall off." "I'd save you." "Barry Manilow?" "Or Mozart?" " That's an easy one." "Barry Manilow." "Stijn!" " What?" "Come on!" " Wait." "Rock on!" "Best day of the year?" "In February, of course... carnival." "Really." " Carnival?" "Anything goes." "Anything you like." "So I'm not scared of anything, anything is possible." "One cup." "Really." "I'm so thirsty." "Really." "No, wait!" "How do you like your tea?" "I want to marry her." " You?" "Marry?" "Stijn, I don't think that's a good idea." " But I love her!" "And I want a child from her!" "For better, for worse!" "In sickness and in health." "Until death do you part." " I do." "My wife had a passion for life." "Life was a party." "Every day." "Apart from that one day..." "Bastard!" "You fucked Sharon with the droopy tits?" "!" "Gross." "How often." " Well, twice?" "Twice?" "!" "You and your two times." "Bullshit, Stijn." "How often?" " Carmen!" "We only just moved in together!" "What's wrong with you?" "I only love you." "She was some ugly chick." "No, don't!" "I will!" " Stop, stop!" "From then on, Carmen knew I'd never be faithful." "She decided to tolerate my cheating as a bad habit." "One guy picks his nose, another cheats." "Something like that." "Branding at Work, this is Frank." "I started an ad agency with Frank." ""Branding at Work"." "The money poured in." "Buckets of it." "No:" "By the container load." "We moved to Amstelveen." "I hate Amstelveen." "Hey Stijn!" "Congratulations!" "This is brilliant!" "The reason for buying a house with a yard made up for a lot:" "Luna, light of my life." "Fortunately Frank and I regularly went abroad on business looking for inspiration maintaining contact with clients and generating new business." "Women could touch me anywhere, except my heart." "My heart belonged to Carmen." "Frank's my best friend, but with the opposite libido." "He's not interested in fucking." "That seems to exist." "This is Ramon." "The same breed as me." "I had everything under control..." "Where were you?" " Los Angeles." "Okay." "Shit!" "Stop." "Stop now!" "Stijn, text message!" "What?" " Text message!" "Some guy Frank." " What does he say?" ""Look in your left pocket."" "There's another message." ""I mean your right pocket..."" ""Stijn, Stijn." "Don't do it anymore."" "I had everything under control." "Hey!" "Here we are again." "Hi gorgeous..." "I missed you, you know." "Hey, what's up?" "I spoke to the doctor about my breast." "We have to go by." "It's really not good." "It's malignant." "We'll have to investigate the best treatment." "We have to test lungs, liver, lymph glands, and then decide which chemo to use at which intervals how much time in between." "That depends on your condition." "We need to know how progressive it is." "Maybe I'll go bald." "All over?" "It's so strange." "I don't feel ill." "There's just something in my breast that's bad and I can't control it." "That's so weird." "Lymph glands?" " Lymphyes, test my lymphs." "And then they can see what the next step is." "Whether that's chemo or whatever..." "Carmen is so strong..." " Anyone for bubbly?" "Come on, guys!" "She's not going to die!" "It doesn't look good." "Inflammatory breast cancer." "But we can try several techniques." " 2/3rds survive, don't they?" "Who says so?" " It's on Internet!" "Survival rates are lower for this type of cancer." "Can't you just remove it?" "Take my breast off." "The tumour's too big and we can't see how the cells have spread." "We have to start chemo as soon as possible and then we'll see..." "What a nice place..." "Good morning!" "I'm Jeanine." " Carmen." "Hi, I'm Stijn..." " Today's the big day." "It won't take long." "Your arteries lie very deep." "Chemo was no fun, but I'd promised Carmen I'd be there, every time." "She was relieved and said it was sweet of me to want to come." ""Want" isn't the right word." "The only thing I wanted less was for her to go alone." "You don't want to give it a kiss?" "I'll give it a kiss..." "He was about to give it a kiss when he jumped on its head..." "Carmen, it's only work!" "Sweetheart..." "Okay?" "Here we go..." "If you think about it, it's brilliant." "Like so many good ideas, why wasn't it done before?" "Anyway, one day Carmen came in and opened our eyes." "We're going to watch a presentation." "Carmen will provide a brief introduction." "Carmen?" "Good morning." "This commercial was conceived by Branding at Work and was very successful in the Benelux." "The campaign has already ended." "The film has been in a drawer for two years." "Let's look at the film." " Yes." "No one can see it." "Are you sure?" " François, get cutting." "Voila!" "Fuck..." "It looks pretty good from this side." " Wash and wave, please?" "I'll see what we can do, madam." "So ugly..." "Sorry..." "There's Mum." "Hello, darling." "Don't be scared, sweetie." "Mummy's wearing a hat now, you see?" "Look." "Isn't that weird?" " She's like a hedgehog!" "See?" "You want to feel?" " Come on, just feel." "It's a little prickly." " Does it feel strange?" "Here it comes." "Shake it about..." "Isn't that strange?" " Isn't it lovely?" "You want to feel again?" "You want to feel my hair?" " Go on, it's soft!" "No?" "Is it a bit scary?" "Hey Luna!" "Okay, for Frank?" " Well..." "Okay then." "Marilyn Monroe!" "New hair?" " Yes." "Pretty, isn't it." "It sure is!" "It itches like mad!" " It does?" "Yes." " But blonde looks good on you." "Thank you." " It's better." "What?" "Dr Scheltema was satisfied with the result of the four chemos." "She finally believed what I'd said for months." "My Carmen is stronger than that cancer." "Half-time:" "Cancer 0" " Carmen 1!" "Now we are ready for the second half!" "RADIATION" "Here you go..." "Come on, Mrs van Diepen." "Radiation." "A precision bombing of the tumour." "The way TV showed Americans blowing up buildings in Iraq and then 28 times." "Start at the bottom?" " I'll say stop." "Here we go." "It's glued tight." " Yes." "Okay?" "Yes, it doesn't hurt as much." "I'm just going into town for a bit." " Okay." "Meet Carol..." "Meet Esther." "I told you about Stijn." "Carol?" "So you must be Esther." "5 missed calls from Carmen" "Take it easy..." "Are you okay?" "I'll get a towel?" "Calm down." "If he touches your tits, I'll beat him up." "I only operate if I'm sure it increases the chance of survival." "I'm afraid we can't save the breast in your case." "Don't underestimate amputation." "You're a beautiful woman." "Young..." "It leaves you maimed." "After treatment we can use cosmetic surgery and an implant to make a new breast." "Until then, you can use a prosthesis." "I think we have to do it." "I can do the surgery nine days from now." "Soon you'll only have one." "I'd rather have you with one tit than not at all." "But you're a titty man." "I'm afraid." "AMPUTATION" "No complications." "It's healing well." "I'll leave you two alone." "They say the folds will fade." "It's ugly, isn't it?" "Well, it's not really... pretty." "No." "No, it's not really pretty!" "Good afternoon." "How did it go?" "Well, Frank." "It was fun." "We laughed our heads off." "How is Carmen?" " Well, just great!" "Stijn, the papers for..." " Later." "What?" "Sign this?" " Fine." "The client okayed the budget?" "No, I haven't heard." " Dammit!" "Then call them!" "Christ!" "Do I have to do everything in this fucking place?" "!" "New Year's Eve." "'Change of the sexes':" "Frank's idea." "He thought people would loosen up." "We needed that." "Our life had become a cancer." "The king and queen hedonists had changed into patient and caregiver." "Our days consisted of hospitals, puke, drying tears and cleaning burns." "Carmen thought Frank's idea was perfect." "For the first time in months she was free." "Free of cancer and free of me." "Ten, nine, eight seven, six, five, four three, two, one..." "Zero!" "Happy New Hair!" "Be honest." "Say how you feel." " I want a carefree evening." "I don't want to be pitied by people." ""There's the girl with cancer."" " They don't say that." "It's no fun!" "Come on, you want to put on a show all evening?" "Leave me alone, man!" "I don't know." "What do you want me to say?" "What about me?" "Should I sit there and show people my scar?" "Am I afraid to die?" "Yes, of course I am!" "I think about it every day!" "Of course I'm scared of dying!" "Hey!" "You're not going to die!" "You're going to fight!" "You don't know what it's like to be afraid." "I'm terrified all day..." " Get in the car!" "Leave me alone!" "Carmen, get in the car, now." " Leave me alone, man!" "Carmen, please Stop!" " Look at my cancer head!" "Stop, stop." "Just look at my cancer head." "Sorry..." "It's going ahead, we booked." "The whole office is going to New York." "A week's farewell trip." "Nice plan!" " Sure..." "I'm glad I don't have to work for a while." "You?" "I'll be glad when our life is back to normal." "Carmen and I still enjoyed life but not together." "PART 2" " STIJN CARMEN and STIJN ROSE" "Every year, I see her and fall in love with her at carnival." "Every year, she rejects me with a smile." "Rose from Amsterdam!" "Going to hit on me again?" "I wouldn't dare." "You hate wedding rings." " That's true." "We could chat." "Chat?" "It won't get any more platonic than that!" "Hello Tiger." "Platonic drink on Friday?" "Stijn..." "Come on, we must go." "Stijn!" "Come on, we're going." "Yes, I'm coming!" " We're already late." "Good evening, madam." "Good evening, sir." "Nice of you to come." "Welcome to our..." "lair." "Do people work here?" " Yes, usually." "What do they do?" " I can explain that." "Most people who learn a real trade make things." "We make hours, not things." "At least, I hire people to." "Young dogs, just as fanatical as I was in the past when playing soccer." " The picture on your right depicts my club's glorious past." "The last game in Amsterdam's beautiful Olympic Stadium." "This Champions League match didn't work out." "Nice..." "Wow, wait a second." "No, no, no." "I fear I have to move you definitively from my "to do" tray to my platonic tray." "You're the one who's married." "If I can handle it, there's no problem." "This was a waste of time." "What was I thinking?" "This has to stop." "Now." "Shall we have a bite to eat?" "Tell me something about your wife." "Not another "my wife doesn't understand me" story..." "No, not really." "It's more a story about cancer." "Carmen has breast cancer." "It started with chemotherapy:" "4 courses, every 3 weeks." "And every time, she had to puke for days until only bile came up." "She lost 10 kg." "Her hair fell out, she turned bald." "Then the radiation..." "We had to be happy when her breast was amputated." "It left a huge hole." "Agigantic scar." "A six-inch zipper." "It was terrible, hell." "Not to mention nightmares about death, being left alone my daughter motherless." "Carmen is a beautiful woman devastated by cancer." "Humiliated." "We've all been humiliated by cancer." "So whether she understands me..." "that isn't the point." "Carmen?" "Come on..." "Let's dance." "Already asleep?" "How's New York?" "Luna's fast asleep." "No, it's 4 am here." "I just got home." "I went into town." "Time for bed." "I miss you." "Hello?" "Good morning, madam!" " Good morning." "I should have gone home earlier." "Maybe, but I'm the one who's married, remember?" "I'm the one who doesn't want an affair with a married man." "Wait a sec." "Wait, the doorbell." "Hello?" "Hello?" "Rose gave me what I lacked at home." "My lust for life, part-time." "I have to go to the office." "Adeadline." "I'll see you later." "Okay?" "She was the woman I needed now." "Rose became my surrogate queen." "All the clichés about cheating came up." "...and we've been there..." "Sorry, I have a dental appointment, okay?" "The deal you make is to sell the shares you buy on the same day." "And you'll earn money?" " Enough to paint, anyway." "That's clever." "You okay?" "What?" "All that turmoil." "Carmen is really... incredibly strong." "Your life is chaotic now." "That's no good for Carmen either." "You're heading for trouble." "Hey Picasso, when are you going to mess up my canvas?" "Mess up?" " What?" "Is that what you think of my work?" "I mean we all mess things up all over the place, don't we?" "Then came the news we wanted." "The chemos, the radiation, the amputation had worked." "We'd won the battle against cancer." "It's so unreal." "After everything they did to you?" " Here you are." "Only a genius cancer cell can survive all that!" "I'm clean!" "So why aren't we dancing on the table?" "Why aren't we going wild?" "It's as if that fucking chemo numbed me." "I don't feel a thing." "Carmen, it'll come back." "Really." "It'll be okay!" "Let's enjoy the moment!" "Here and now." "Carpe diem..." "Here's to you." "Who's that?" "Boris..." "Boris?" " He's that new kid at the office." "Let's enjoy the moment." "Here and now." "Sorry, we have a deadline, I have to take it." "I miss you too, really!" "I can't talk, but I'll call you later, okay?" "Two hours..." "Who wants a fried egg?" " Me!" "You want a nice fried egg?" " Yes!" "Morning, dear." " Good morning." "Was it nice with Ramon?" " Yes, great." "It was?" " Yes, it was great." "You see, Ramon called to ask where you were." "Will you be back early?" "I'd like you to take me to the airport." "Do we have a future?" "I want to know if you want to be with me." "You think about it." "While Carmen was away, Branding at Work won our first major award." "The UEFA Cup for advertising." "The office had a collective orgasm." "Isn't it ugly?" "!" " No." "Bah!" "That's ugly!" "Are you okay, Stijn?" "What's her name?" "Rose." "Want to know more?" "Yes." " Frank, I stopped loving her, get it?" "You don't know." "Even now it's better, Carmen isn't the same woman." "I need Rose's love." " You're confusing love and happiness." "You're not happy with Carmen, but you love her." "But I'm having an affair!" "You don't need to be a psychiatrist to see that something is wrong." "Rose has nothing to do with your feelings for Carmen." "I hope Rose gives you what you need, but you can't treat Carmen like this!" "You have to be honest, talk to each other, holiday together, man!" "Hey, go on holiday!" "Say what you just told me!" " If I do, I'm afraid it's over." "Just listen to yourself." "You say you no longer love her?" "!" "If you go on, you lose everything." "Not just Carmen." "You've got something great going." "Luna." "Think of Luna." "It's got to stop, Rose." "Sorry." "I can't go on." "This is beautiful!" "I'm going for a swim." "Does she have nice tits?" " Nice tits?" "Who?" "Boris!" "He texted that he misses you." "Have you stopped?" " Yes, it's over." "What are we doing here?" "We flew 36 hours to be in this beautiful spot." "I don't understand." "Is it over?" "!" "I want to know if we're still together." "I have to know, because I don't feel it!" "Can you look me in the eye and say you love me?" "Of course." "Go on then." "I want a divorce." "Let's get pissed, we're here anyway." "Truth or Dare?" "Come on Join in!" "I really won't mention Mr B." " Dare..." "Oh." "Truth is too hard for you?" " Okay." "Truth then?" "Boris..." " Really." "Let's keep this fun." "Okay." "Joyce?" "Twice." "I knew it!" "You are really disgusting!" "Joyce, with those..." "Yes, okay." "Your turn." "Truth or Dare?" " Dare." "Kiss me." "Truth." "And you?" "What do you mean?" " Cheated?" "Who did I cheat with?" " Did you cheat then?" "No, I snogged a guy at a street party." "Kissed him?" "Only kissed him?" " Yes?" "You didn't..." " No." "But I did do it with Pim." " With Pim?" "Yes." " When?" "When you were in Thailand." " At our place?" "At home, in the car, in the bathroom." " You're not serious!" "All on one night?" "You were away for four weeks." "Your turn." "Truth." " How often?" "Maybe more than the fingers on one hand." "Okay, two hands." "Five hands, bastard!" "I suppose Frank knows everything?" "I'm glad we're divorcing." "Good morning!" "Do you want to be my wife again?" "My sweet Stijn..." "I don't know." "I liked us more divorced last night than married all year." "For better or for worse!" "In sickness and in health." "Until death us do part?" "Can you live with this?" "Yes." "You must promise me one thing." "That you won't cheat on me anymore." "Do you promise?" "Our new life without cares or cheating lasted one week." "She briefly lived happily." "Stijn!" "It's not very good." "A metastasis of 4 by 4 centimeters on top of the liver." "Is that a secondary?" "To be honest, a new chemo will only delay." "If it takes, you may have six months, maybe less." "Will I be in pain?" " No, pretty sure you won't be." "Your liver will fail so you'll have less energy you'll sleep more and go into a coma." "It's very humane." "That's positive, at least." "But you will have the side-effects of the chemo." "Nausea, fatigue, hair loss, loss of taste and smell and your muscles will also protest." "The inside of your palms too." "It may sound strange, but I feel relieved." "Now we know:" "I'm dying." " Carmen, don't say that." "I knew it from the start." "I just knew it." "We'll do this together, right?" "We both stopped working." "Carmen made a list of places she wanted to visit." "We took the best hotels and recorded it all for Luna." "We wanted Luna to see more images of her mother than any other child." "I'm going to get you!" ""Carpe Diem" was our new motto." "If we couldn't add days to life we had to add life to the days." "We revelled in each other and in every day we had together." "Stijn and Carmen as the world champions of hedonism." "Ankle-breakers!" "Okay..." "You can scream, scream." "Now drive me home." "You have to put me to bed." "Okay?" "Try... before you die." "Some water, water, water." "I have the director's cut in my head." "Luna wouldn't have liked the deleted scenes." "She'll have to make do with the PG-rated version." "Can you turn left?" " What?" "Turn left here?" "Here?" " Yes." "Let's find a nice spot." "I can't park here, that..." "Damn..." "This is an answering machine..." "Hey, Rose." "It's me." "Carmen is dying." "She's incredibly strong, but..." "I have to see you." "Sorry, your veins lie so deep..." "I want a real doctor." " Hey Stijn, calm down!" "No, you're no guinea pig." "A real doctor!" "Stijn!" "Stijn..." "Stop it!" " Leave her alone!" "Rose!" "Don't do this anymore, Stijn." "Sorry." "That's not what I mean." "What then?" "Not calling for so long." "Sorry." "I love you, Stijn." "I broke my promise to Carmen." "It leaves a lot to be desired but love has its own rules in times of cancer." "I was even more addicted to Rose than last time." "I wanted to be with her every spare second." "Where is Carmen van Diepen?" "She's left." "My sweet love." "My diary suffered from inhuman time management." "I'm coming." "I'll be back later." "No you won't." " I promise." "I'll be back." "Just stay right here, okay?" "Hey, big girl." "Breathe deeply..." "Sorry Goddess, I I didn't come back." "But..." "I'll make it up to you." "Really." "I'll wake you later with kisses." "I'm sorry." "What do you want?" "Do you want to end it?" "Darling, if there's anything." "I'm home in 15 minutes." "Stijn." "Would you please stay here?" "Darling, I'm meeting Ramon for a beer in 10 minutes time." "I was looking forward to a night out." "One beer with Ramon." "With Ramon?" "What is this?" "Come on." "Carmen, stop it." "I go everywhere." "Chemo, radiation." "I fight with the doctors for you." "I call them in the middle of the night." "I do everything!" "For better and for worse..." "Remember, Stijn?" "Yes, go on, go on." "Get lost, get lost!" "Go fuck a woman while I'm dying here!" "I don't need you, you bastard!" "18 months misery." "Hospitals, chemotherapy." "Tears, puke and you don't need me anymore now?" "!" "Fuck you and your cancer, Carmen van Diepen." "One more time." "In the moonlight" "Where were you?" "With someone else." "Mum's mad at you." "So I'm mad at you too." "Mum's mad at you." "So I'm mad at you too." "Mum's mad at you." "So I'm mad at you too." "Mum's mad at you." "So I'm mad at you too." "Mum's mad at you." "So I'm mad at you too." "I'm not mad at you anymore." "Will you live here with us until death us do part?" "She keeps vomiting." "Only bile." "Is she in pain?" " Yes." "I'll leave some morphine so you won't be in pain." "It might make you hallucinate." " Oh, that sounds great!" "At least I'll see something." "Bye, Tom." "It's no use, Stijn." "If it goes on like this, I've had enough." "I want to know how things work when I'd had enough." "I'll ask the doctor how it all works." "Come on, let's take a picture." "Come and sit here." "I need a pee." "I'm going to the bathroom." "Should I help?" "Sorry guys, we need a bathroom break." "We'll be right back with you." "My darling love." "Is there anything?" "Is there anything you want to know?" "No." "No." "It's okay." "I know what I need to know." "As long as you're happy with any woman you like." "It's okay." "Dammit!" "Stijn..." "I've had enough." " Wait a sec." "Come on..." "Sorry..." "It's okay, darling." "Just let it run..." "I thought we'd tried everything in bed, but not this." "It's okay." "You can't keep this up." "Don't worry about me." "It's okay." "I don't want this." "I've had enough." "I don't want this anymore." "I'm just like a baby." "It can only get worse." "I can't cope with this anymore." "I want to end it tomorrow." "Look, Luna." "You see that chest?" "Daddy and I made it for you." "When you're bigger, you can open it." "It's full of things we collected for you." "Also my things." "Can I open it?" "No, not yet..." "Only when I'm gone." "Okay?" "How long will that be?" "Let's agree you open it when you're six?" " Yes." "Yes, on your sixth birthday?" "It's too bad you're dying, Mummy." "I do too." "I love you." " I love you too." "Come on, darling." " Bye, dear." "Shopping is healthy..." "You bought it." "Specially for you." "It was just delivered." "It's lovely." "The back..." "Come here..." "For you..." "Carpe Diem." "It's beautiful." "Will you always wear it?" "Always." "Fucking always." "I'm so happy to be your wife." "Go on." "Get the door." "It's okay..." "It's okay, go on." "Go on." "Hi Stijn." " Tom." "Okay." "You have a glass?" "It's important to drink it slowly but in one go." "Okay?" " Yes." "This is the best time to say farewell." "Bye, dearest Carmen." "Enjoy yourself!" "Yes." "You too." "Here we go." "It tastes good." "It's like... ouzo." "Now she's gone." "I'm still here!" "Just another minute." "Goodness, she's strong!" "It's all over." "I love you." "Carmen has just died." "Hi, Rose, it's me." "Carmen is..." "Carmen will be buried on Friday." "I hope you can come." "Let me know." "Kiss." "In memory of Judith"

"Veronica, there's something you should know." "There's a video of you." "Dick got ahold of it somehow." "Am I singing karaoke?" "It's you and Piz having sex." "Unless it's a video from the future, that's not possible." "We haven't had sex." "Okay." "Well, I mean, you were naked and fooling around." "I assumed." "And I thought you should know." "That you're crazy?" "Oh, thanks, now I know." "I guess you should see this." "Why are you bruised?" "What did you do?" "I found Piz." "We sort of had it out." "I knew you wouldn't let him tape you like that." "Stop." "Just stop." "I don't know why you're involved with this or what the hell is on this thing, but it's not gonna be me." "Piz would never..." "You need to go." "I was trying to help." "Leaving would be helpful." "Everything okay?" "Yeah." "It was just Logan." "I'll meet you at home." "I'll make dinner." "You can just walk in and feast like a princess, you spoiled brat." "Perhaps a cheer?" "Actually, it does." "I was kidding." "Then no." "Did it involve me being naked?" "Slowly, bro." "You got to take it slow." "How does walking make my ribs hurt?" "You should see the other guy." "His hands, particularly..." "I-I tore those things up." "He didn't really give me a reason." "He sort of just burst into the deejay booth and started whaling on me." "He's got bruised ribs." "His eye's all jacked up." "Not..." "Not really helping." "Look, you didn't lose a fight, Piz." "It was a drive-by, man." "I guess he was pissed about that thing that happened at the beach?" "I think he still likes you." "He saw a video of us fooling around." "Yeah, I'm on morphine." "What?" "There's a video," "Taken right here in this very room, of us..." "Adam-and-Eve-style, getting familiar." "So, um, here's my question." "Is this a thing you do that maybe you forgot to mention?" " Veronica." " Just now is the time to come clean." "You really think I would do that?" "No." "I just don't understand how it happened." "So there's an actual video." "Well, where did Logan get it?" "I was about to go have a talk with him anyway." "So maybe I can get some answers." " Wallace." " Oh, we're having a conversation." "I'll deal with him." " Is he here?" " Who?" "Logan?" "You know, I don't know if, um..." "Just so you know..." "The best way to show that you're still in love with your ex-girlfriend is to beat up her new boyfriend." " Parker, you're..." " You're an idiot." "What?" ""Parker, you're an idiot."" "That's not what I was gonna say." "I know." "You were going for something nice." "The truth is that I am an idiot." "You're not." "There's just a lot to this that you don't understand." "Like why I kept thinking that I mean something to you" "When it's always been Veronica?" "Wow." "You should have seen that expression." "It totally sold you out." " Are you gonna listen to me?" " No!" "I look at you, and I know you love her." "Piz videotaped them having sex" " without her knowing about it." " Oh, god!" "Well, that's horrible!" "Well, you must have been devastated." "I mean..." " Veronica had sex with someone else?" " She's your friend, too!" "Aren't you angry for her?" "Do you realize what this will do to her?" "Do you realize that we just broke up?" "Yeah, I didn't think so." "What?" "Did he send up a flare?" "He's all yours, Veronica." "Trust me..." "Not why I'm here." "You know, it doesn't even matter anymore." "Where is he?" "You, don't leave." "We're having a little chat after." "He's having trouble breathing because of his ribs." "He got five stitches over his eye." "Only five?" "You're a lunatic." "You didn't know he was taping you?" " Because he didn't!" " Oh, come on, Veronica." "Who else would have or could have done that?" "Here's what I know..." "It wasn't Piz, and it could not be less of your business." "Aren't we trying to be friends?" "As your friend, I was angry at what happened to you." "Someone's always supposed to pay, right?" "Isn't that the rule we live by?" "We tried to be friends, and it didn't work." "This is the moment, Logan, right now, where it's just done." "You're out of my life forever." "V" "Ve" "Ver" "Vero" "Veron" "Veroni" "Veronic" "Veronica" "Veronica Ma" "Veronica Mar" "Veronica Mars" "Veronica Mars 3x" "Veronica Mars 3x2" "Veronica Mars 3x20" "Dick, get out here." "What's up, V?" "If you had to bet?" "Look, from a guy's perspective, the video just made your stock go up." "You looked great." "Enthusiasm... always a plus." "It's like you're this giant jackass piñata" "Begging for someone to beat the candy out of you." "Where'd you get the video?" "Someone e-mailed it to me." "Who?" " Get your computer." " I probably deleted..." "After all these years, do you not instinctively fear me?" "Maybe you should write yourself a note." "Chip Diller." "You didn't know it was from Chip?" "Well, see how many e-mails I get?" "You forwarded it to your whole address book?" "It was instinct." "I always forward porn." "When it's good." "You are going to be so popular in hell." "Veronica." " Veronica." " I'm a little busy." "Yeah, that figures." "Can you shiv me, please?" "I didn't see the whole thing, alright." "Seriously, just bash me in the head with your boot or something." "I don't know what you plan on doing, but I'm offering my help." "Whatever you need, I'm in." "There's a good chance I'm going to take you up on that." "And I'm back in high school." "Goody." "Chip." "Moment of your time?" "I'm kind of in the middle of something." "It's a cluster of morons." "Don't worry." "They'll let you back in." "You know what I like about you?" "You got spirit." "I want to talk to you." "That's what you're doing." "Could you put your head up your ass before they stuck the egg in there, or is this new?" "What do you want?" "Who sent you that video?" "Don't know, don't care." "You don't care now." "But holy crap, are you gonna care when I start to get my revenge on." "You'll be doing all sorts of caring." "Hey, Veronica, wait up." "Domonick Desante..." "That's the guy who sent me the e-mail." "So we're cool, right?" "Right?" "Everything's cool?" "Domonick." "Yeah?" "Where did you get the video of me?" "I don't know what you're talking about." "Your pubescent snickering tells me differently." "Someone sent it to me." "You should tell me who." "Or I can assume that it originated from you." "You can assume whatever position you'd like." "I'm thinking choke hold..." "you gasping for your last breath." "Shh, shh, shh, sweetheart, sweetheart." "You are so much hotter with the sound off." "You'll really be better off giving me that name." "Yeah." "Well, I guess I need to go quiver in fear now, so..." "See ya." "Okay, then." "Credit-card company made some sort of mistake." "I have a ton of available credit on that card..." "A ton." "I'll totally pay you back for dinner." "It's kind of funny, right?" "It's like a cute little story we have." "Wh..." "That yours?" "You must have some bad karma." "* Because you had a bad day * [Daniel Powter" " Bad Day]" "* You're taking one down *" "* You sing a sad..." "Anxious to find out how far I'll go?" "Or are you ready to give me that name?" "It was this guy, Gory, all right?" "Gory Sorokin." "But seriously, you cannot tell him that I told you." "Are you Gory?" "Who wants to know?" "Well, seeing as I'm the one asking, I'm guessing me." "You do have nice pom-poms." "I'll give you that." "Are you coming in or what?" "You're shorter in person." "Are you the one who planted the camera?" "Does it really matter?" "What do you think you could do about it?" "Ask Domonick Desante." "I can make your life hell." "I don't think you can." "If you have proof that I'm involved in some way, maybe you should get a lawyer." "If you don't, maybe you should just stay and have a drink." "Yeah." "I'm definitely gonna need a drink." "Perhaps 12." "I don't know..." "How many does it usually take" "For a girl to find you not gross?" "You know what I noticed today?" "Look really close at the welt under my eye." "What?" "Is your eye okay?" "Yeah, I was just pointing out that this bright-pink part" "Looks kind of like the virgin Mary." "I call this my miracle eye." " * My miracle eye * - shh!" "The pledges are picking up their instructions" "At the north quad newspaper stand." "Because I picked the spot, and that's where I picked." "You just leave that to me, I got transportation worked out." "You know, you're adorable when you surveil." "Do any of the fraternities do a late-spring rush?" "I don't think so." "[Neko Case And Her Boyfriends - Set Out Running]" "So who are these mystery pledges, and what do they have to do with my public humiliation?" "* I can't be myself without you *" "* Want to crawl down deep inside *" "* The springs inside the mattress *" "* Where I cry my dirty secrets *" "* 'Cause I just can't shake this feeling *" "* That I'm nothing in your eyes *" "Reading all about it?" "A guy's got to keep current." "What are you up to?" "Just taking surveillance photos of everyone who takes a paper out of that machine..." "You know, for kicks." "You aren't pledging any sort of fraternity, are you?" "You think I'd join a fraternity without telling you?" "I got to grasp at the occasional straw... nature of the business." "So, what are you doing on this side of campus?" "Don't you have lab in, like, five minutes?" "Are you grilling me?" "I got to take this." "Hello?" "You want what?" "Come back for office hours." "We'll talk about this later." "Oh, mr." "Fennel." "This is very strange, but when I left my house this morning," "I found this taped to my front door." "You look okay to me." "Was this wardrobe change more of an olfactory issue?" "You tell me." "I dropped my salad." "Hm you can't really get vinaigrette out with a wet paper towel." "They're doing an article on me for the Neptune Register." "The interview's in a couple of days, but... they've got a photographer due here any minute." "And you thought a photo of you in your boxers would hurt your lead in the polls?" "With clean pants, it's a smooth cruise into victory." "And what a beautiful day that will be for Mars, the family;" "Neptune, the town;" "Milky Way, the galaxy." "Sun will be shining." "Birds will be singing." "There'll be dancing in the streets." "So smile pretty." "Do you know what The Castle is?" "I think I've heard something about it." "It's Hearst's version of Skull and Bones." "They tapped me to join." "So, this morning..." "This morning, I didn't think that The Castle had anything to do with that tape." "Now I do." "This girl called me a few days ago wanting to hang out, and I brushed her off." "Basically, I lied and told her" "I had to go to a study night at my professor's house." "After I saw you today, my professor gave me this." "It's a message from The Castle." "They knew where I was supposed to be." "They bugged you?" "Yeah, and it just makes sense that it's the same device they used to catch you and Piz." "Okay." "I'm gonna need names and..." "I haven't met a single person..." "Not even another pledge." "The person who tapped me, he isn't even a member." "The whole rush process is done in messages." "Well, they got one less guy to torture in hell night." "Any chance you'd reconsider that?" "I'm sorry." "That's crazy." "That's way too much to ask." "It's not." "I can do it." "How am I supposed to get names?" "I have a feeling there's no I.D. tags." "Just get their faces." "You know I can't draw, right?" "It's a camera." "Snap a few shots of the guys when you can." "When I got tapped, I went to the Hearst library and looked up everything I could on The Castle." "There wasn't much." "But there was this exposé." "And look who wrote it." "Thanks for meeting me." "Who doesn't love a good chat with old friends about secret societies?" "Our illustrious namesake was a Yale Skull and Bones man." "He wanted Hearst to have something similar." "So he started The Castle at Stanford, where his son went, and at Hearst, the school he founded." "So, what do they do?" "That's the billion-dollar question." "Being tapped for The Castle, they say, is a ticket to wealth, power, and privilege." "They're treated like rock stars." "So who gets tapped?" "Notable freshman males." "Future politicians and lawyers." "Engineers, journalists, athletes." "Wealthy men making other like-minded men wealthy." "And how do the ladies feel about that?" "We're not happy." "A group tried to sue for admission last year," "But they couldn't figure out exactly who to sue." "No one knows who the members are." "First corridor on your left." "Keep going." "Go into unit 499." "Three, strip to your underwear." "Throw your clothes outside the door, shut the door, then put on the collar and sit in the chair." "Three, what you do now will dictate the course of your future." "All you have to do, is tell the truth, and the world will be at your feet." "We have no secrets in The Castle." "It keeps us honest." "Lie to us, and one of your brothers will pay the price." "Do you understand?" "I understand." "Tell us about Rashard Rucker." "What happened the night in Chicago when you ran over the homeless man?" "So your father committed a crime for you." "Yeah." "Aah!" "What?" "I answered." "Yes." "But someone else lied." "Did you get enough?" "You lie, one of you brothers pays the price." "Final question..." "What item were you carrying in your pocket tonight?" "Just a pen." "You want to try answering that again?" "If you ever need a kidney," "I've got one with your name on it, no questions asked." "They knew about the camera?" "I said it was a pen." "Then I heard this scream." "I wouldn't talk anymore." "So that voice on the box told me to get out." "I'm so sorry." "I think I know who one of the other pledges is." "The voice on the box kept calling me "three."" "Three..." "My basketball number." "But he slipped up one time, and he called me "2,400."" "2,400." "Meaning?" "The first couple weeks of school, there was a story in the free press about that freshman who made a perfect score on the S.A.T." " 2,400." " Yeah." "They ran a picture of him with the story." "He looked kind of like Josh Groban." "Is that him?" "That's the guy." "I'll find him." "I'll follow him, and he will lead me to The Castle." "Friend of yours?" "Apparently not." "Oh, enough of the foreplay." "Get to the good stuff." "Hey, wait." "Do I know you?" "You look so familiar." "Come on, man." "What?" "I just think I've seen her somewhere before." "Don't be a jerk." "Ow." "You got me." "It's a nice day." "Let's go eat outside." "Veronica?" "Looks even more familiar from behind." "I promise you, Karma's going to take care of that guy for you." "I know." "I'm gonna run him over with my "karma."" "Dude, I saw that Piznarski guy today." "That's one messed-up polack, my brother." "Pound and explode, dude." "It's still a thing." "I guess he didn't make the video." "Whoops." "Your bad." "Still, it was a royal beatdown." "Sometimes a random ass-kicking's a good thing." "Keeps everyone else in line." "Oh, 2,400, how quickly you're moving up in the world." "Not a bad deal..." "Drive into a parking lot in your crap car," "Leave in a stretch limo, and be chauffeured to a mansion." "So the front window's all curtained." "How best to get a view of the back?" "I need faces." "Gory?" "You've got that disc with you?" "Of course." "Let me show you my office." "Take that off your hands." "That'd be great." "I feel like Gollum carrying this thing around." "I don't know what that means." "I like the look of the pledges." "You did well, Gory." "You're not gonna believe some of the confessions we got this year." "Well, they get worse." "Every year." "I noticed that we're down a pledge." "I washed him." "Caught him sneaking in a camera." "Check it out." "There's the lens." "Click it..." "It takes a picture." "New age, isn't it?" "It looks like we're done here." "It's the only copy?" "Of course." "I wasn't built to live in the subdivision." "Let's go back to the induction." "Nothing else was taken?" "Just the hard drive?" "Which happens to be the most valuable item in the house." "What was on it?" "It's five years of programming that will revolutionize the industry." "It's always something, huh?" "I'm surprised you don't have a massive security system, Jake." "It's coming." "Keith." "Well, we've only been here for a month." "Could have been household staff." "No forced entry." "You mind?" "This could be the entry point." "Looking at a tiny thief." "Mr. Harvey, sheriff Keith Mars." "I'm investigating a break-in at the Kanes' house next door." "I happened to notice you had cameras mounted in your backyard." "Come in." "The security cameras are all hooked up to a DVR." "We're looking at the backyard view in real time." "But if you hit rewind, you can go back up to three days." "There." "That was something." "Is that a girl?" "Mr. Harvey, you mind if I take the DVR for evidence?" "Excuse me." "Deputy Gills." "In the flesh." "Check out the new digs, Keith." "This is what I do since you fired me." "There was a break-in at the Kanes' last night." "I need to see a list of the plates of any strange cars that came in here." "Sure thing." "Let me check." "What do you know?" "Nothin'." "Quiet night here at Pemberton Estates." "Good luck on the case, though." "Hey, best of luck in the election." "Let me explain something, Veronica." "I own the most powerful personal computer on campus." "There is no personal computer faster or better than mine at Hearst." "And using this incredible computer of mine, it will take 20 years to crack Jake Kane's password on this hard drive." "So how do we do it?" "You're like Kirk in "Wrath of Khan."" "You refuse to believe in the no-win scenario." "You're like one of the nerds from "Revenge of the Nerds"" "with your "star trek" references." "There is a computer on campus that might be able to crack it." " Hello." " Sir." "I need to ask you about a license-plate number." "Hello, lover." "Guess that's what you're looking for." "Thanks." "Here we go." "Mr. Harvey." "Mind if I talk to you about the sheriff's visit earlier?" "What do you know about the break-in at the Kane mansion?" "What happened to my room?" "Did you steal five years of Kane software product development?" "No." "That's a crazy question." "Did you tear apart my room?" "!" "Yes." "And I found this." "Notice the rip?" "I found a blue thread on a loose screw of the Kane doggy door." "Takes someone awfully small to break in through a doggy door." "There are a lot of blue sweaters in the world." "Spoken like a public defender, Veronica." "If there is something going on with you," "If you're in trouble, now is the time to tell me." "I could tell you, but you'd never look at me the same." "I'm spending the night at Mac's." "Veronica Mars?" "Easy, Jake." "You find her, you get that hard drive, and you arrange for it that I never see that girl again in this lifetime!" "You sure that's our best option?" "I want to return the sheriff's department" "To a place where everyone, regardless of zip code," "Gets a fair shake." "Your opponent says he wants to be sheriff" "Because he always wanted to wear a badge." " I'm excited about that, as well." " Where is he?" "It was your daughter, Keith!" "Veronica's the one that broke into my house and stole my hard drive!" "Believe you already know the county prosecutor." "And what makes you think..." "Veronica's plates were registered at the guard gate." "Her in and out times match the time of the robbery." "She's small enough." "Plus, mr." "Kane's neighbor says his video footage revealed a blond girl running through his yard." "I'm gonna need that DVR, Keith." "I need it now." "I'll happily turn it over as soon as you bring me a judge's order." "You know what this looks like, Keith?" "Like I don't kowtow to the rich and powerful?" "No." "Not that." "We'll be back... soon." "I'll talk to you in an hour when I can make all this go away." "Couple hours at least." "We don't have two hours." "There's a class scheduled in here at 9:00 a.m." "This is Veronica." "Leave me a message." "Honey..." "Things have really hit the fan down here." "I'm pretty desperate to talk to you." "I'm waiting on your call." "Veronica!" "Eureka!" "The names." "Hundreds of them." "This is more than one pledge class." "Look, this guy's class of '39?" "Think we may have overshot." "No." "This is a beautiful thing." "Judge's orders." "See?" "That wasn't hard." "Leo, you mind pulling the DVR from the evidence room and handing it over to the county prosecutor?" "Confessions from every member of The Castle since its inception." "20 years of transcriptions." "and we have 30 years of audio, and 30 years of video." "Why do they do it?" "No one spills the castle's secrets because they know what they risk." "Most of them aren't guilty of putting that video of you out there." "But this guy is." "Gorya Sorokin." "So..." "We figured we'd go up to the mountain cabin," "Get loaded, and take the boat out." "Parents didn't need to know." "So we're getting high up on the balcony." "And I hear a car pull up, and I hide, but I got a good angle." "And I see my dad and uncle Lev get out of a car." "They open the trunk and pull a couple bodies out." "They are bloody as hell." "And so they drag the bodies into the workshop." "And the next thing, I hear the power saw going." "I always wondered why my dad put a woodshop up in the cabin." "So the next thing you know, he and uncle Lev" "Are taking a couple hefty bags down to the boat." "Maybe I'll let Gory Sorokin keep his secrets." "Hey, Nish." "I've got a present for you." "You're transferring?" "A list." "The names of every member of The Castle." "All men." "You think this will help with that lawsuit?" "Oh, my god." "Politicians." "Tycoons." "Celebrities." "This is gold." "You're gonna make some very powerful men very unhappy." "Won't be the first time." "Hey." "You need to walk away." "Just..." "I need to apologize." "Great." "Apology accepted." "Now go." "I'm meeting Piz, who, by the way, is the one you should be apologizing to." "I am sorry, Veronica." "I thought..." "Well, you know what I thought." "I was hoping I'd see you." "I didn't want to carry that around forever." "You left it behind in my room." "You know what?" "I'm glad we caught you on hidden camera." "And I'm glad it's such a popular e-mail attachment, because you're a real bitch." "You know what you should do with your sudden popularity?" "Just lay back and enjoy it." "Logan, don't." "He's connected." "Connected connected." "Oh." "Yeah, I was wondering." "Didn't seem like you to shrug it off." "Hey, so listen." "Again..." "I apologize." "I can be pretty dumb sometimes." "It's a nice gesture, but it's gonna take some time this time." "You want to hear your friend apologize?" "I'm not interested in his apology." "But I would like my pen back." "Whoever you are, you're gonna die." "Yeah, someday." "Ah, Piz." "Just who I was looking for." "Listen, man." "I am truly sorry for everything." "So are you like the butler now or..." "I'm just saying." "Answering the door kind of smells of being demoted." "I like to deal with the miscreants personally." " Yes, you do." " Look who dropped by." "Veronica." "Would you care for something?" "Lemonade, mineral water?" "I came by to bring this back." "Would you wait right there?" "I'm gonna call the sheriff myself, have him come arrest you." "Go ahead." "I'll wait." "But the moment that happens, everything on this drive goes public." "There's no way you can know what's on that drive." "Not in a day." "Gabe Huntley." "Class of '74." "Ran over someone one night in Tijuana." "Gerald Cummings." "Election fraud." "Then there's that steamy boarding-school incident of yours." "And we leave my dad out of it." "I'm afraid it's a little too late for that, Veronica." "Clarence will see you out." "Good." "You're home." "Prepare for gumbo." "How do I find the time to make gumbo, you ask?" "I make time." "You know I love you, right?" "More than anything." "Of course, honey." "I never doubted." "Eat." "Dad?" "[Albert Hammond - It Never Rains In Southern California]" "* Got on board a westbound 747 * " " We would like to say thank you " "* Didn't think before deciding what to do * " " To everyone that supported the show " "* All that talk of opportunities * " " For the last 3 years " "* TV breaks and movies * " " Thank you all for watching. " "* Rang true * " " Many thanks to Rob Thomas " "* Sure rang true * " " For this amazing adventure. " "* Seems it never rains in southern California * -- "True love stories never have endings" " "* Seems I've often heard that kind of talk before * " " Farewell, Veronica!" ""

"WITH FIRE AND SWORD" ""In a film by Jerzy Hoffman, based on the novel..."" ""With Fire and Sword" by Henryk Sienkiewicz." "There's going to be a battle." "The hetman has ordered you go forward!" "Screenplay and direction by" ""This film is dedicated to my wife, Walentyna."" ""THE BATTLE OF ZOLTE WOD Y April 29, 1648"" "Crooked Nose." "God be with you." "Halt!" ""Brother Cossacks, guns ready!"" "Fire!" "Lances ready!" "Fire!" ""Where are my prisoners, my victory and my loot?"" "There." "Your infidel dogs don't want to fight." "You're destroying the Khan's army!" "The rain will soften the ground and their cavalry will get mired." "The morrow shall be ours!" "You promised victory not defeat!" "We've captured many dragoons." "Take them if you like." "I'll have them impaled!" ""Let them go, they're Ruthenians."" "They'll bring the dragoons to our side." "Beat the drums." "Feign attacks then fall back." "All night long." "Halt!" "Fall back!" "Fall back!" ""God gave the Poles rain, and brought us the sun."" "It's time." ""Don't despair, Bohun."" "The hetman has quashed the rebellion with the lash soon there'll be peace." "I'll give you my coat-of-arms then you'll be able to have the princess." "Colonel Barabasz ordered strangers brought to him." "But he's asleep right now." "He says he's going to Lubnie." "To Lubnie?" ""Yes sir, to Lubnie."" "Let him go." ""Good God, why it's Sir Skrzetuski's servant."" "Is your Lord well?" ""Yes, he is..." "He sends his regards."" "I know your Lord too." "I met him at Rozlogi." "Where?" "Rozlogi." "The Kurcewicz manor." "Who?" "I see you've gone deaf." "I haven't been sleeping well." "Praised be the Lord." ""Hold on, you'll have plenty of time to sleep."" "Search him!" "You can't do this!" ""I'm a nobleman, too!"" ""Leave him be, Bohun."" "To the honorable Princess Kurcewicz in Rozlogi..." "So you're going to Lubnie and don't know where Rozlogi is?" "To Helena Kurcewicz..." ""Bohun, a noble's seal is sacred!"" "The hetman gave me the right to open all letters!" ""My sweetest, beloved Helena, queen of my heart..."" "So Skrzetuski's your rival?" "You're both courting the princess?" ""You know, once I..."" "Silence!" ""In the name of the Father, Son and Holy Ghost!"" "I'll live..." ""Maksym, open up!"" "Wait in the clearing till you hear shots." "Who's there?" "Don't you recognize me?" "Praise the Lord." "World without end." ""Bohun, you're risking your neck."" "My neck be damned..." "Who the devil can that be?" "Bohun!" "What are you doing here?" ""Not glad to see me, mother?"" ""I'm glad, just puzzled that you're here."" "I heard you are stationed in Czehryn." "Who has God sent here with you?" ""Sir Zagloba, a nobleman..."" "...and friend of mine." ""Sit down... eat, drink."" "Thank you for coming." "Is the princess well?" ""Yes, well."" "I'd love to see her." "Helen's asleep." ""A pity, I'm not staying long."" "I wanted to see you all before I go off to war." "It's hard to kill your own but I have to." "Who knows if I'll return." ""Before I go, I'd like to hear again that the princess is mine."" ""A noble's word is as good as gold, and you're nobility."" "Do you promise?" "We'll have to ask Helena." "She can speak for herself." "What do you say?" "Promise?" ""Yes, we promise."" "We promise." "Sir Zagloba why don't you ask for the girl?" "Maybe they'll promise her to you too." ""What's that, Cossack?" "You're drunk."" "Sir Skrzetuski sends letters!" "Traitors!" ""Grab your swords, sons!"" "Back!" "Princess." ""Surround the house, don't let anyone in."" "I'll kill whoever steps in here." "Put the ataman to bed!" "Knead bread and spider's silk." "I'll take care of him." ""The ataman must rest." "Get out, the cellar is yours!"" "Just don't drink everything." ""Holy Mary, pray for us sinners..."" "...now and in the hour of our death." "Jesus Christ Quiet!" "Don't come any closer!" "I'm from Sir Skrzetuski." "Why should I believe you?" "Have any better options?" "Give me some of that mead." "See that?" "I'll be damned!" "Not bad!" "Pity to waste such mead on your peasant throats." "What about some for the guards?" "Replace them!" "Give them some drink!" ""Thank you, sir."" "Is Lubnie far from here?" ""Oh yes sir, it's far."" "Can I get there by dawn?" "Never!" "What about noon?" "That's more like it." "Have a good time boys!" "The ataman's sleeping." "Don't wake him till morning." "I'll look after him!" "Only a fool won't drink to the ataman's health tonight!" "To the ataman's health!" ""Feel better?" "Can't talk, huh?"" ""Even better, you won't yell..."" "...when I take the princess to Lubnie." "Maybe I should send a barber or one of the Duke's executioners?" "These wounds won't kill you but you'll never drink with me again." "Hey!" "Quiet!" "Be well." "I could've stabbed you but it wouldn't be right." "Perhaps we'll meet again..." ""...but if I do it on purpose, may they tear the skin off me and..."" "...make a cupper out of it." "Slow down!" "This isn't the way to Lubnie." "Hide your hair." "Never run where you'll be followed." ""They'll head for Lubnie, while we're going to Czehryn."" "The son of a bitch God damned Pole!" "I'll rip his throat out with my own teeth!" "He asked the way to Lubnie." "To Lubnie!" "Loot the place and then burn it!" "What if Jarema comes?" "They'll blame Bohun!" ""Turn around, run!"" "Czehryn has fallen!" "In the name of God." "The serfs are slaughtering the nobles!" "Avoid Rozlogi!" ""Chmielnicki in front of us, Bohun behind us."" "God didn't save us so we could die like this." ""There's a huge fortress, Bar, but it's far from here."" "Very far." "I've told you everything." "You met no one?" "No one." "Hang him!" ""Wait, I met Sir Zagloba and his servant."" "Where?" "Half way to Czehryn." "Did you say Czehryn had fallen?" ""Yes, I did."" "Hang him!" "Let's go!" "May you be eaten by dogs!" "May you be skinned alive and may Jews wear you as collar trim!" "What's wrong?" "We have no horses!" "We have them now!" "Praised be the Lord!" "World without end." "Who's there?" "Christians." "What are you running from?" "Chmielnicki." "Did you see him?" "I'm blind." "The boy?" ""He did, but he's mute."" "Only I understand him." "You scoundrels are nothing but spies!" "Stirring up the serfs!" "Soldiers!" "Strip them and hang them!" ""Take those clothes off, now!"" ""Hurry up, or I'll hang you both."" "You no good drunkards!" "Give me those trousers!" "Hurry up!" "You too!" "You're dead already." "Do you want to get to Bar?" "But what to do with that hair of yours?" "Cut it off." "How?" "Just make sure you don't miss." "I feel like an executioner." "They cut off witches' hair so the devil can't hide in it." "But you're not a witch." "Cut it!" "It's a horrid thing to do." ""Cut it off, already."" "Close your eyes at least." ""You're killing my chickens, you sons of bitches!"" "Where are the villagers?" "How am I supposed to know?" ""We're not Poles, don't be afraid."" ""Poles, the devil take them!"" "We're Cossacks." "Cossacks?" "The devil take them!" "The villagers went off to fight the Poles." "Did you see a fat nobleman with a young girl?" "A Polish nobleman?" "..." "No." "Only an old beggar." "He went with the villagers." ""A beggar, you say?"" ""With one good eye, fat as a pig, and a beautiful mute boy."" ""Father ataman, I've never seen a cherub like that!"" "It's him!" "Jarema's men!" ""Save yourselves, it's Jarema!"" "After them!" "Into the water!" "They'll kill us!" "Here they come!" "Shoot them!" "Vermin!" "The princess..." "Hands off!" "Give a quart!" "A doctor!" "There is no doctor here." "They hanged him for being a Jew." "But I know medicine." "Bohun..." "Almighty be praised!" "We've made it." "Bar..." "What are you doing here?" "Me?" "I'm serving you." "You were weak from all the blood loss." "You've been here all this time?" "Who else?" "I'm the only one here who knows anything about medicine." "But you serve Skrzetuski." "I don't serve anyone anymore." "I've joined the Cossacks." "I'll see that you're well again." "And this..." ""I don't bear a grudge, I know you're hot-tempered."" "Witch... why are you here?" ""I saw you were in trouble, falcon."" ""Get up, there's a war on." "Did you treat him?"" ""Good, now get out."" "Leave." "I saw your Polish lady in a castle on a white cliff above some water." "How do you know?" "I saw her." ""KORSUN, May 26, 1648 The Republic's second defeat"" ""Fame is ours, Cossack brothers!"" ""I'll give you a Tartar escort, for the Duke impales my Cossacks."" "You're a free man." "No!" ""You're free, though I know you'll fight against us."" "May God give me strength." "To fame and fortune!" ""To joy, not misery!"" "Kiss my hand!" "Why should I?" ""Because now, I'm a nobleman!"" "And I'm enlightened." "I'm drinking from an enlightened hetman's goblet." ""That's a chamber pot, you fool!"" "I have to drink in the chamber?" "Sir hetman Potocki pissed in it!" "And shit in it too!" "You're lying!" "Crooked nose never lies!" "Even a dog shits outside!" ""Silence, our hetman!"" ""Brothers, I bring sad news."" ""Our defender and benefactor, King Wladyslaw IV..."" "...is dead." ""We must decide, wait until we've regained our strength, or..."" "Attack Jarema!" "Who's our enemy?" "Jarema!" "Attack Jarema!" "Put him on the pale!" "Tuhaj-bej has taken his captives to Crimea and will be gone a month." "Do we move against Jarema without the Tartars?" "Attack Jarema!" "We'll write him that we don't seek war only respect of our rights." "A letter!" "Silence!" "But who'll deliver it?" "Who here is the bravest?" "Who shouted the loudest?" "I'll go." ""Good." "Now, what shall we write?"" ""You son of a bitch, Jarema!"" ""Wisniowiecki, born of the devil."" "Defiler!" "That's very good." "But this is what we'll write." ""Your enlightened excellency, Duke and Governor."" "I'm asking you to bear us no ill will for what happened when your forces attacked our armies." ""Bohdan Chmielnicki, hetman of the Cossack armies."" "Seize them." "We're the hetman's envoys!" ""A rebel, not a hetman."" "We're envoys!" "Your excellency!" "Chmielnicki freed Skrzetuski." "Skrzetuski was my envoy." "Are you equating me with a rebel?" "Kill them so that they know they are dying." "What do you think of that letter?" ""Our foe is crafty, your excellency."" "He wants us to let down our guard until the Tartars return." "We must move immediately." "That is my will as well." "But we can't disregard Chmielnicki." "The hetman wanted to quash the rebellion with a few lashes and paid with his son's life and his own captivity." "We're all alone and can't expect help from any quarter." "The King is dead and that's chaos." "Bychowiec!" "Your excellency!" ""You'll take 300 dragoons and lead the royal court, nobles..."" "...and the Jews to Zamosc." "You are to return immediately." "Every sword will count here." ""Where shall I return to, your excellency?"" ""You'll find us, we'll be on everyone's lips in the Ukraine."" ""I, Jarema Wisniowiecki, Governor of Ruthenia..."" ""..." "Duke of Lubnie and Wisniowiec, do solemnly pledge to God..."" ""...and you, His Blessed Mother..."" "...to raise the sword against wickedness I shall not put it down until I have pacified the Ukraine and drowned the serf rebellion in a sea of blood..." ""...so help me God, amen."" "Curse... you..." "Poles." "My God!" "It's Skrzetuski!" ""Jan, do you recognize me?"" ""Oh my God, he's gone mad."" "Our Father who art in heaven hallowed be Thy name." "Thy kingdom come." "Thy will be done..." "Thy will be done!" "On earth as it is in heaven." "Wolodyjowski!" "Take him on patrol let the wind blow away his cares." "Search all the huts in the village." "If you find anything from the manor..." ""...drive out the women and children, burn their huts..."" "...and thank the serfs." "Subtitles @ Polart 2003"

"I should be able to do anything with all the things around me." "I just have to use my head and the incantation." "If I get hungry my incantation is "Pipopa" and the noodle shop will make a speedy delivery." "When I get sleepy I flop out." "If I lie down a while I'll be feeling fine by the next morning." "You have it in you, too." "This mysterious power." "If you have a dream, then even a dream is more than just a dream." "What's the matter?" "Are you okay?" "Hey, are you all right?" "!" "It's nothing serious." "Just a bit of a fever, that's all." "Oh, no!" "I'll take you to the nurse's office!" "I can go by myself." "Gym class is gonna start so go on ahead." "No way!" "I'm not gonna just leave you." "Hold on." "There." "I'm sorry, um...." "Sasami!" "I'm Sasami Kawai!" "Thank you, Sasami..." "No problem!" "That's what friends are for!" "Huh...?" "No?" "Does it hurt?" "Are you okay?" "No I'm fine." "That was how Sasami and I first met." "And Sasami was the first friend I ever had." "Friends" "It can't be...!" "S-Sasami!" "No...!" "I am Pixy Misa, the evil magical girl." "I've been cruel to everyone, and I've fought against Sammy." "That was me." "It was I who was the bad girl." "I was the one who caused so much trouble." "It was me!" "Sasami must be so angry." "She must've told everyone I tricked her all along." "What should I do...?" "I haven't got anywhere left to go." "I can't even see Dad anymore." "I..." "I..." "This is all myfault." "It's my fault for listening to my sister and making Misao transform into Misa." "M-My chest...!" "She forcefully undid her transformation so it started working backward!" "I can't leave her!" "I've gotta call Sis." "My magic isn't strong enough!" "Be patient a little longer, Misao!" "Nice to meet you!" "No!" "Time for my magical transformation!" "Don't come out!" "Please!" "Don't come out!" "I just can't believe that Misao was Pixy Misa." "Misao's had an evil magic spell cast on her." "An evil magic spell?" "Otherwise that shy Misao couldn't have turned into Misa." "Someone forced her to transform, to interfere with Sammy." "You mean..." "If I hadn't turned into Sammy Misao wouldn't have turned into Misa?" "I don't know." "But that's possible." "Then it's my fault." "It's my fault for getting her into this mess." "Misao turned into Misa all because I accepted this baton!" "I knew I should have given it back, then!" "This stupid baton!" "This stupid baton!" "I don't want it!" "Sasami!" "I'm going to look for Misao." "Don't follow me, Ryo-Ohki." "Sasami..." "I'm sorry, Sasami." "Where are you going, Tsunami?" "You are only allowed to descend to the Earth once during the queen's deliberation process." "Break the rules, and we'll strip you of your qualifications as candidate to be queen." "It doesn't matter." "Sasami Kawai is the girl you chose." "Won't you believe in her?" "Misao!" "Misao!" "Yes, that's right." "It isn't magical powers that can save Misao." "You are the only one who can save her." "Please, Sasami." "Save your friend!" "Hello, CD Vision." "Oh, Mrs. Amano." "Yes, that's right." "Misao isn't over there, is she?" "I see." "No, thank you very much." "No luck." "It looks like she's not at Sasami's place, either." "She couldn't be caught up in that monster's wake, could she?" "I don't think we need to worry about that, since everyone returned to normal." "But if she doesn't come home soon I'll call her teacher." "Yes, I suppose." "You know, she really was looking forward to seeing you." "Dear, when are you leaving for your next performance?" "I have to leave Japan tomorrow morning." "I want to see Dad." "What is it?" "Nothing." "Nothing at all." "Sis!" "Sis!" "Sis!" "Sis!" "Sis!" "Misao's in trouble!" "We can't just leave her..." "It's all over." "The Project to make me queen..." "Keep your chin up, Sis." "Misao!" "Misao!" "Misao!" "Misao!" "I want to see you." "I really want to see you." "Where are you?" "I can't go back home..." "Misao?" "What are you doing in a place like this?" "Aren't you going back home?" "I'll go home soon." "Oh?" "Um..." "Yes?" "Um, I have a very close friend." "But I've been lying to her all along, without knowing it." "I'm sure she's really mad at me." "Did you say you were sorry?" "There's no way she'd forgive me!" "You won't know until you tell her." "And if you tell her exactly what you think I'm sure your friend will understand." "There, there." "It's gotten a little chilly out." "Misao, it's getting late." "Why not go home, and apologize to your friend tomorrow?" "But..." "But, Sasami won't forgive me." "All the things that are important to me..." "Mom, Dad, Sasami the bird, Dad's piano piece my hair bands, the picture of Dad and I at the amusement park." "And also... also..." "This place." "I had a feeling you might come here." "After all, it's the place where you and I first met!" "Wait!" "Look at me!" "No!" " Look at me!" " No!" "What's the matter, Misao?" "Are you in pain?" "What is it?" "What's going on?" "!" "She's trying to change to Misa." "Ryo-Ohki!" "The evil magic in her heart is swelling up!" "How can we make her change back into Misao?" "Please tell me!" "Sasami." "Magic isn't omnipotent." "I don't wanna hear that!" "But magic will react to people's feelings toward others." "The only one who can remove the evil magic from Misao's heart is you, because you care the most for Misao." "I can...?" "For Misao..." "Use your strength and magic and align your heart with Misao's." "Sorry that I threw you and stuff, earlier." "Please give me the strength I need to save Misao!" "Pretty Mutation Magical Recall!" "Just wait, Misao!" "I'll save you soon!" "Because I'm going to drive away this evil magic!" "This is the inside of Misao's heart..." "Misao..." "Misao!" "Misao..." "Who would've thought you'd come all the way in here." "Pretty Sammy." "No, Sasami Kawai!" "Misa!" "Welcome to the inside of Misao's heart!" "Misa!" "Change Misao back to normal, and get out of here!" "You don't understand a thing." "Misa is Misao, and Misao is Misa." "The sad feelings in her heart, along with the magical powers are what brought me into the world." "Me, Pixy Misa." "In otherwords, we're one and the same person." "No...!" "Misao!" "Misao doesn't want to see the likes of you!" "Why not?" "It's all your fault!" "My fault...?" "You were covering for Misao all along, weren't you." "Misao developed a real complex about you, over that." ""I'm so timid." "I envy Sasami, who's so cheery."" "Misao's not like that at all!" "That's what the other side of me said." "It couldn't be a lie." "And when you were covering for Misao you were probably steeping in a superiority complex, huh." "Thinking, "I'm saving poor, weak little Misao."" "That's not true!" "You really loved saving Misao, didn't you." "You were proud of yourself for saving Misao, right?" "No!" "That's not true, Misao!" "And now you're going to save her again?" "You're being a nuisance!" "I just..." "I..." "Get out of here!" "Now!" "I..." "Misao, listen to me." "The very first time I talked to you you were really struggling, and I admired you!" "Even though you had a fever, and you were in pain you smiled at me." "Remember?" "I'm your friend, right?" "We're friends, so can't I want to be together?" "We're friends, so can't I want to help you?" "You've given me so many things!" "That's why... that's why..." "There are so many things I still want to do with you!" "Like playing, and staying over, and going on trips and comparing homework!" "There's lots and lots and lots of things!" "Please, Misao!" "Answer me!" "Misao!" "Answer me!" "Even if you stay as Pixy Misa forever I'll still really love you, Misao!" "Sa..." "Sa-sa-mi..." "Sasami!" "Misao!" "I'm sorry, Sasami!" "I..." "I..." "I want to be your friend!" "We are friends!" "Of course." "I want to be with you!" "I'll always be with you, Misao!" "I care so much for you!" "I care about you, too, Misao!" "Sasami!" "Misao." "I'm going to get better." "I'm gonna try my best." "Yeah." "I'm sorry." "Don't apologize." "What is it?" "Sasami!" "That's the true form of the evil magic that was in your heart." "Misao, let's do it together!" "Converge, magic powers of justice!" "Pretty Coquettish Bomber!" "Misa." "Good-bye, Pixy Misa." "The other side of me." "Sasa...!" "That's great!" "Thank you, Pretty Sammy." "Good-bye, Misao." "I'm coming back, for sure." "I'll see you soon, Misao." "Hurry, Dad!" "Misao will get tired of waiting!" "Thanks, Dad!" "Good-night!" "Good-night!" "What's going on?" "Suddenly Sasami seems kind of grown up." "Must be imagining it." "Misao!" "Huh?" "Misao!" "Sorry I'm late!" "There were these runaway horses on the way..." "WHAT?" "!" "Welcome, Sasami!" "I'M PIXY MISA!" "Welcome, Sasami!" "What...?" "!" "Did I scare you?" "I made it to try to get better and to try to cheer myself up!" "What do you think?" "Misao!" "I don't think that's the right way to cheer yourself up." "Huh?" "Really?" "Misao, are you sad because you couldn't see your dad?" "No!" "I'm fine, because I've got you here!" "It may be too late, saying this after such a long time but I was wrong." "To say there are any number of guys out there I should've known better." "Midnight," "Comes to anyone, ...not only to Cinderella." "It may be too late, saying this after such a long time but I've made light of the whole world." "To think that somehow things would turn out all right I should've known better." "Misao's going to play the piano at the school festival." "I sure wish her dad could hear her playing that beautiful song!" "Coming next:" "I'm Glad to Have the Mystic Force." "I'm glad I became Sammy!"

"Got a long way to go." "Is it" "Anywhere we know?" "Smells like food on the" "Stove to me, doesn't it?" "Yeah." "FDNY." "Hello." "Fire department." "Open up." "FDNY, let's go!" "Pop it." "All right." "FDNY." "Oh, my God." "We got a customer" "Right in here." "Holy shit." "Jesus Christ." "That's one guy?" "Yeah." "You believe this?" "We got two thirds of" "The million man march" "Right here." "Let's get him up and get" "Him back to the circus." "Or the knicks." "Same thing really." "Ready?" "With your legs." "Lift your knees." "Oh, Jesus!" "God." "It's like" "Trying to lift rhode island." "Rhode island's not this" "Tall, pal." "Guys, I got another broad" "Back there." "OK." "Hey, we got another" "Girl in the back." "Grab her." "OK." "Holy shit, is that" "Dennis rodman?" "Go get the girl." "All right." "Michael, give us a hand," "Will you?" "Holy shit." "Kareem abdul" "Jabbar." "He looks really young." "That's such a positive issue" "With black people." "They always" "Look a lot younger than" "They are, you know?" "Let me try." "Jesus, look at the size of" "That guy." "No wonder it took you" "So long to get him out." "Yeah, we were thinking about" "Cutting him up and bringing him" "Down in pieces or something." "That would have meant an extra" "Trip down to get a saw." "You OK?" "I've got dry mouth." "Yeah, man." "My mouth is" "Dry, too." "I'm starving." "Are you hungry?" "I could eat." "Pizza." "Yeah." "And chips." "And dip." "Dip." "Yeah, man." "Dip." "Hey, Chief, are you there?" "Yeah, Garrity." "Go ahead." "Uh, listen, Chief." "Mikey" "And I, we got into this back" "Room here." "Yeah?" "Looks like a goddamn" "Greenhouse." "Chief, it's amazing." "There's like beds with dirt" "And plants and all kinds of" "Sunlamps." "I think that must be" "What caused the fire." "Are we talking about what I" "Think we're talking about?" "Uh, yeah..." "I don't know, Chief." "What are" "We talking about?" "Pot, marijuana, weed." "Yes, yes." "That's definitely" "What we're talking about." "This guy is growing, like," "Hundreds of plants." "At least he" "Used to be." "They've all gone up" "In smoke now." "Smells like the" "Inside of a bong in here." "Bonggg... that's such a funny word." "Garrity, get your ass out" "Here on the double." "Hey, uh, Chief?" "What?" "Should I, uh, should I" "Bring mikey with me?" "Yes, goddammit, yes." "Hey, come on." "Bong." "Bonggg... bong!" "Goons." "I'm surrounded by" "Goons." "Hey, boys, do me a favor." "Keep an eye on my friend here." "I got to notify the cops." "This" "Is now officially a crime scene." "Dude." "Dude?" "Yeah, there's nothing" "In there." "Just growing" "Flowers in there." "What kind of flowers?" "Geraniums." "Geraniums." "Settle down, boys, will you?" "Get me some cd73s out of" "My rig." "Hey, we got any Bob marley?" "I'm ready for some reggae," "Chief." "Cd73s, they're exposure" "Forms." "You guys have been" "Exposed to a foreign substance" "During the course of operations" "Which means we have to" "Report it." "Which means we have" "To wait around and fill the" "Forms out." "You guys are not" "Paying attention to me anyway." "So, I think what he's saying" "Is there's no cds, man." "No music." "Wow." "Screw the cds, I want pizza." "Yeah, man." "All right, guys." "All that" "Stuff I said about God over" "The years." "Yeah." "I take most of it back." "Why?" "Oh... yeah." "Hey, brother." "God's pizza." "We deliver." "I'd do her." "You would?" "Oh, yeah, in a heartbeat." "That's interesting." "Wait a minute." "Who are we" "Talking about here?" "Heather mills mccartney." "Ex-Wife of former beatle Paul." "Yeah." "I'd hit that." "Really?" "Oh, yeah, man." "Even though she only has" "The one leg." "Tommy, it's a bonus." "How is it a bonus?" "It gives you an extra" "Sexual position to enjoy," "For one." "That being, her" "Laying on her side, OK, the" "Side with the leg, you straddle" "Said leg, and do her sideways" "Without worrying about the" "Extra pesky leg getting in" "The way." "What about the stub?" "I didn't think about that." "Yeah." "Pass." "How you doing with those" "Forms, boys?" "Still working on it, Chief." "Here you go." "Since when are you kenneth" "Mills mccartney?" "Did I write that?" "Come on." "Hey, probie." "Wake up." "Anymore pizza?" "Your social security number," "Mike." "You're missing a few" "Digits." "Oh, what did I put down?" "6." "6 digits?" "No." "Just the number 6." "Come on." "Work on it." "Come on." "Look." "What's up, Garrity?" "Guess what?" "What if the" "Government is, like, secretly" "Recording everything that we" "Do and say with secret devices" "That are planted, like, right" "Out in the open, right under" "Our noses?" "This parking meter" "Right here?" "I was walking by," "And it started blinking." "And" "Then it started making this," "Like, camera shutter clicking" "Sound." "I think it took my" "Picture." "Was it your good side?" "It was straight on." "Oh." "I was squinting though." "You better get back and" "Do it again." "You're right." "I'm gonna" "Go back." "Hey, fix your hair, dude." "* on another day," "Come on, come on," "With these ropes I tied," "Can we do no wrong?" "Now we grieve" "'Cause now is gone," "Things were good" "When we were young," "With my teeth locked down" "I can see the blood" "Of a thousand men" "Who have come and gone," "Now we grieve" "'Cause now is gone," "Things were good" "When we were young," "Is it safe to say?" "Come on, come on," "Was it right to leave?" "Come on, come on," "Will I ever learn?" "Come on, come on," "Come on, come on," "Come on, come on *" "Jesus." "You scared me." "How you doing?" "Not so good." "I go to the bathroom twice an" "Hour and cry my eyes out." "Just, I don't want John to" "Hear me." "I thought they were just" "Taking one leg." "Oh, no, no." "That's, uh... that was yesterday." "They took the other one this" "Morning." "What am I gonna tell him when" "He wakes up?" "I just... hope he doesn't" "Blame me." "No, no, no." "He won't" "Blame you." "Look at him." "He's half" "A man." "Sorry." "It's OK, it's OK, it's OK." "It's OK." "You go home." "Hang out with" "The kids, OK?" "Are you sure?" "Yeah." "I'll stay with him." "Yeah?" "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "OK." "Thank you." "OK." "What are you doing?" "Just getting some of my" "Clothes." "Some of my stuff." "Moving out?" "Yeah, I guess so." "I think so." "So, were you gonna tell me," "Or were you just gonna sneak" "Off in the middle of the night" "Like a goddamn pussy?" "It's morning, dude." "You know what I mean, man." "Look, I don't want to make" "A big thing out of this," "You know?" "You're a great guy," "But it was just a mistake." "Don't call it that, Mike." "It's not right for me." "You know, I thought, maybe I'd" "Get a little more comfortable" "With the idea, but now I know" "That that's never gonna happen." "Oh, oh." "So all those times" "I was going down on you, you" "Were uncomfortable." "Well, you" "Seemed pretty comfortable to" "Me, Mike." "I mean, if you didn't" "Like what was happening, why" "The hell didn't you just" "Speak up, man?" "You know how it is when" "Someone's going down on you." "You don't want to be rude." "Well, I catch you here again," "I'm gonna kick your ass." "Now get out." "What about the rest of" "My stuff?" "You got 2 minutes." "Anything" "You leave behind is going in" "The garbage." "I'd start moving" "If I were you." "Good morning." "Somebody needs to smile." "Yeah, give me a couple" "Of days." "Where'd Jeannie go?" "Nurse took her outside for" "Some fresh air." "You know, I" "Thought I was gonna have to" "Move her out of here." "With" "This place costing so much." "She nearly fell apart when I" "Mentioned that possibility." "So for the last month or so," "I've been out there busting my" "Ass trying to earn a little" "Extra scratch." "Now, I tell her she can stay." "Everything's all right, and... she completely falls apart." "A real meltdown." "She doesn't even know who I am." "Mr. Reilly, you might want" "To get a little alzheimer's" "Of your own." "Excuse me?" "Despite this little episode," "Jeannie's happy here." "Now you" "Have to be happy, too." "If the visits disturb you," "Stop remembering to come." "You telling me forget about" "My wife?" "She's forgotten about you." "Because she's sick." "Does it matter what the" "Reason is?" "Who the hell do you think" "You are talking to me like that?" "Karleen simpson." "Nice to" "Meet you." "Get the hell out." "I'm sorry if I upset you," "Really." "I was only trying" "To help." "Don't let the disease claim" "Both of you, Mr. Reilly." "That's what I was trying" "To say." "Hey." "I thought I smelled" "Something." "What you making," "Baby?" "Huevos rancheros." "Oh, looks like scrambled" "Eggs to me." "Well, you didn't have any" "Tomatoes, onions, chiles, or" "Cheese, so that's what it is." "You want to grab me some juice?" "Yeah." "Oh, snap." "Look at this." "Surprise." "Wow, baby, I don't know who" "This guy is, but he is stunning." "Work that camera, biotch." "You like?" "Yeah, yeah." "It's nice." "You are an excellent subject." "You have depth." "Stuff working" "Beneath the surface." "Secrets." "No." "No, no, no." "No secrets" "Here, babe." "So the little girl's room" "Down the hall." "That's not" "A secret?" "Apparently not." "You want to tell me?" "I had a daughter." "She's not" "Here anymore." "She died?" "Don't worry." "She's fine." "Very much alive." "Living a life" "Only about a thousand times" "Better than I can ever give her." "You want to explain?" "Another time." "What about you though, huh?" "Any secrets you want to share?" "I'm an open book." "You think?" "How come you're always coming" "Over here?" "I mean, I mentioned" "Going to your place a couple" "Of times, you always manage" "To sidestep it." "What's the deal?" "Maybe my place is a pig sty." "No." "I don't think so." "So, anything you want to" "Tell me?" "OK." "There is one thing." "You're late for work." "Have some eggs." "I'm gonna grab" "My stuff and walk out with you." "Uh-Huh." "Both legs?" "Yeah." "How's he doing?" "He's so doped up, he doesn't" "Even know, you know?" "How about deb," "She holding up?" "I think she's afraid he's" "Gonna blame her when he comes" "Out of it." "What's wrong" "With you?" "Rough morning." "Oh." "Hey, thanks for noticing," "Buddy." "All right." "OK." "OK." "What the hell was that?" "Probably a holdover from" "The weed." "Hey, bro." "What's going on?" "How you doing, brother?" "Do me a favor." "Stop touching me, OK?" "Mike just touched you." "I saw him." "Mike got a special... you know how the pope gives" "Out special dispensations" "Sometimes?" "That's what Mike" "Got, OK?" "All right." "Well, I mean," "You're gonna have to start" "Getting used to the fact that" "In real life, we're gonna be" "Bros, bro, so... you're not married to my" "Sister yet." "But it's happening soon," "You know, and even if I try to" "Not call you bro, I'm still" "Gonna be giving you bro energy" "Loud and clear." "Stop calling me bro." "You call me bro anymore, I'm" "Gonna punch you in the face." "Very hard." "See, that kind of talk, used" "To make me think that you" "Hated me, but now I know, it's" "Sibling rivalry." "Get your hands... yo, guys." "Come check" "This out." "What does he want?" "I don't know." "Oh, yeah." "You gotta be kidding me." "Nice hog, Lou." "Hey, thanks." "That is some sweet machine." "Jesus, you know what we got" "To do, we got to get a couple" "Of those bikes, you know what" "I mean?" "Start our own little" "Family gang." "The gatling family" "Ramblers." "Go inside the house." "Why, why?" "Go inside the house" "Right now." "Family squabble." "No biggie." "So how do you guys like" "The ride?" "Nothing like a new set of" "Shiny wheels to turn a midlife" "Crisis around." "At this point, jer, I'm not" "Interested in turning it" "Around, I'm interested in" "Outrunning the goddamn thing." "Yo, Lou, let me take it for" "A spin around the block." "I don't think so." "You got" "A recruitment roster to report" "On inside." "And then you got a" "Sink full of dishes." "It's a mess." "Nice." "Make the puerto rican" "Guy wash the dishes." "Thanks a" "Lot, Chief." "Now you know why" "I'm taking that lieutenant's" "Exam." "All right?" "Hey, don't crack your head" "On this thing." "I need you" "Around here." "Bikes." "So, I guess this is what the" "Terminator looks like without" "The steroids, huh?" "Very funny, very funny." "It's the new me." "Yeah, I'm" "Getting the rest of my leathers" "Next week." "I'm gonna find some" "Nice, chunky blonde girl with" "A tattoo right on her ass crack." "Mm-Hmm." "Then you know, after that," "Probably be working security" "For the stones." "You want me to" "Get you backstage, meet mick?" "OK, what's going on?" "Come on, Tom." "A little" "Support." "I'm trying..." "I'm trying" "New things." "Uh-Huh." "I don't get it." "Look, for the first time" "In a long time, you know, I feel" "Like I have possibilities." "I feel like I can maybe turn" "Things around." "Maybe even," "You know, God forbid, be happy." "What's the point in getting" "There if you're gonna burn up" "In a fire, huh?" "Right." "Look, I got this cousin" "Down in Florida." "Yeah." "He's got this fishing boat." "Charter boat." "Takes rich" "Tourists out for the day." "Fishing, you know." "Makes a" "Whole boatload of money." "Got a first mate, the guy got" "Married, he's not coming back." "He asked me if I was interested," "I said, no." "But now I'm" "Thinking, the guy's got a" "Guest house for me, you know." "A beautiful boat." "Fresh air," "Sunshine." "Now, I'm thinking yes." "I mean, it's an interesting" "Plan." "It's a beautiful boat," "But, not for you." "Well, why not?" "Well..." "Florida." "First of all." "I mean jeb Bush, Florida, OK?" "Yeah." "That's number one." "Number" "Two, have you heard about the" "Alligators." "It's been all over" "Cnn the last couple of weeks," "There have been alligators" "Climbing out of the swamps" "Down there, and eating joggers" "Right off the jogging path." "There was, like, two women" "Jogging, and they got eaten by" "Alligators." "I don't jog." "When they're done eating" "The joggers, they're gonna come" "After the sedentary people, OK?" "And then, the bermuda triangle" "Which is right off the coast" "Of Florida." "I mean, you could" "Just, disappear, OK?" "Not to" "Mention, cubans." "I'm not talking" "Cigars, I'm talking actual" "Cubans." "Wall to wall." "All right?" "Florida's not for you." "I don't know, you know?" "Maybe you didn't hear me ask" "About a little support before." "Lou, I'm just saying." "Ahh... yeah." "Look who decides to pick up." "Listen, man." "Something's" "Come up, you know." "Something" "That you got to know." "Something" "That I don't want to tell you" "About over a telephone, so I was" "Kind of hoping you and me, you" "Know, we could get together." "Have a little face to face." "I could tell you in person." "Tommy, are you there?" "Listen, Tommy, man." "How long" "Are we gonna keep on doing this," "You know?" "I mean, you and I," "We go a lot of years ahead of" "Us, brother, and I just, what" "Do you say, we work together" "And just try to put this" "Bullshit behind us, man?" "You know?" "When can we get" "Together?" "Seanster." "Hey, hey." "What's up?" "Hey, man." "You want to go" "Grab a drink?" "I can't, man." "I got stuff to" "Take care of for the wedding" "With the lovely bride to be." "You're still marrying" "Maggie, right?" "Of course, why?" "The "lovely" thing threw me" "Off." "Hey, speaking of lovely," "How's it going with Natalie?" "She" "Sounds great, dude." "Yeah." "She is." "Possibly." "Possibly, why is something" "Wrong?" "I don't know, man." "I think" "She might have another guy on" "The hook." "A guy she could be" "Living with." "No shit." "Yeah." "She never wants to go" "Back to her place for some" "Reason." "Plus every time we're" "Together, her phone rings like 100 times an hour." "I could swear" "It's the same person every time." "Pretty sure it's a dude." "Man, that sucks." "Yeah." "Tell me about it." "Finally found a girl I can get" "Serious about, turns out she" "Could be playing me." "Goddamn karma again, right?" "You got to confront her," "You know, see if it's true." "See what's going on." "Yeah, I know." "Love's a pain" "In the balls." "Tell me about it." "You know, what have I told" "You a million, zillion," "Gajillion goddamn times." "Uh, no." "About the car, OK?" "Oh, I don't... what do we do every 3,000" "Miles?" "We check the oil." "Oh, right." "Check the oil, check the" "Oil, check the oil." "OK, OK." "Check the oil." "I got it." "Look, I'm very busy." "I got lots of things." "I got" "Lots of lists." "OK, on one of the lists, put" "Check the oil, OK?" "Do you want" "Me to put one of them little" "Stickers in, you know when you" "Go to the shop, they put the" "Sticker in the window." "No, bossy." "I got it." "I'm not being bossy." "I'm" "Just trying to help you have a" "Safe vehicle." "You are being very... stick up the assy." "Stick up the what?" "Honey, what is wrong" "With you?" "Nothing's wrong with me." "Come on, you're so, you're," "Like, on edge." "I'm not on edge." "Tommy, Tommy." "Don't, don't, don't start" "With the tommys." "Tommy..." "OK." "I think the crew may be" "Breaking up." "What?" "Yeah." "Frank's taking the" "Lieutenant's test, and proble's" "Put... come here." "Probie's been thinking of" "Putting in for a transfer, and" "I think even Lou's thinking of" "Leaving." "No way." "Yeah." "Sheila." "Oh, hi." "Hi." "How you doing?" "I'm good." "How are you?" "Good to see you." "Good to see you." "Garrity, your mom's on the" "Phone." "All right." "I'll see you" "Later." "Bye." "See you, bro." "Yeah." "Bro?" "What else?" "What do you mean?" "You work with a bunch of" "Guys, you laugh your ass off" "When you're together, and you" "Know, blah blah blah, things" "Click." "And then, you know, I'm" "Expected to work with a bunch" "Of college age kids who decide" "They want to be heroes after 9/11, you know what I mean?" "I don't want to get my ass" "Melted off working with these" "Guys who don't know what the" "Hell they're doing." "Losing Lou" "Would be bad enough, but losing" "Franco, I mean, come on." "OK." "What about Sean?" "Sean's marrying Maggie." "He's gonna be dead in 31/2" "Months tops anyways." "If I lose Lou and Franco, I" "Don't think I can do this job" "Anymore." "Let me help you." "I can do that." "I can make a" "Better life for the both of us." "OK, we can go anywhere." "We" "Could, um, we could buy a place" "On the beach, and we can spend" "The rest of our lives for the" "Next 30 years watching the kids" "Grow up and getting married" "And their grandkids play in" "The ocean, and in the sand." "I am so rich." "I have all that" "Widow money just sitting in the" "Bank untouched." "The only thing" "I've done since Jimmy went is" "Change houses a couple times," "And I made a pretty penny on" "The profit, thank you very much." "All I have to do is call the" "Bank, and the next day, I would" "Have a check for $3.1 million." "How do you have that much" "Money?" "Interest, Tommy." "I mean, it's" "Been 5 years." "Shit, it has been 5 years." "Jesus Christ." "What's the matter?" "You know Johnny stackhouse." "Of course I do." "You hear about what happened?" "Yes." "They took his legs." "Oh, God." "We went to probie school" "Together." "Me, him, and Jimmy." "Makes you think, you know?" "Honey, look at me." "I won't" "Let anything happen to you." "Look at me." "I would never let" "Anything happen to you." "Just" "Tell me to call the bank." "I will" "Call the bank." "Shh." "Hey, Sheila." "Hi." "How you doing?" "Damn, girl, you look fantastic." "How you been, huh?" "Good to see you." "It's good to see you, too." "You smell good, too." "I do?" "Nice perfume." "Yeah." "Yeah, see you." "Oh, that's it, baby." "Oh, yeah, ride the pony." "Ride the baloney pony." "Theodore, is this is as good" "As you thought it was gonna be?" "Don't talk." "I want you to put" "All your focus and all your" "Energy into the sex." "That's" "Your goal for the next 40" "Minutes." "If it isn't sex," "Don't do it." "Goddamn it, get off." "I got" "To answer the phone." "Goddamn guards calling every 10 minutes." "How in the hell do" "They expect us to get into a" "Rhythm?" "They need to know that you're" "Still here, and I'm not dead." "What am I gonna do?" "Strangle you with your own" "Panties?" "Oh, you want to try that?" "Yeah." "Hello." "Oh, hello, mo." "Yeah, I'm still here." "And she's" "Still alive." "Hi." "Listen, I knew the deal" "Coming in, but this is goddamn" "Disruptive." "Trying to get a" "Little pussy here." "It's not like" "I'm gonna climb up inside there" "And have her smuggle me out." "Jesus, Mike, you try and" "Flush a dictionary?" "Will you keep it down in" "There." "I'm trying to have a" "Private conversation here." "It's like the battle of" "The bulge in there." "Bobby, give me five," "Will you?" "I got something going" "Here, all right?" "I gotta go out ot the truck" "And pick up the heavy artillery" "Anyway." "Don't go too far, OK?" "I got something wicked brewing" "Here." "OK, see, here's the thing" "Is, sir." "I, uh... see, my family, they really" "Raised me right." "I think." "And I wanted to do this" "Respectfully and officially." "So that's why I'm here," "Mr. Gavin." "To ask you most" "Sincerely, and most... some other word, for your" "Daughter Maggie's hand in" "Marriage." "Are you retarded?" "I can't believe Tommy's" "Missing it." "I'm taking notes." "OK." "I just, I mean, I had some" "Reading comprehension issues" "In school." "I had to take the" "Sats, like, 11 times, and I" "Still didn't pass." "What's the point in asking" "Me for her hand in marriage" "When you've already asked her" "For it?" "That's a good point." "That's" "A good point, dad." "Is it OK" "If I call you that?" "It's not" "Too early to call you that." "I don't know." "Is it too early for me to call" "You asshole?" "... to call you" "Asshole." "You do realize that she is" "A bloodsucking hell bitch." "What?" "This is a private" "Conversation." "You see these shoes, these" "Are gonna go right up your ass," "Old man." "You see how she talks to me?" "And I'm her father." "Imagine" "What she'll say to you." "I don't have to imagine." "She really, she... you know, you seem like" "A nice kid." "A little slow," "But nice." "You see that door" "Over there?" "Mm-Hmm." "Use it." "And never look back." "You know what, that's it," "You're out." "You're not invited" "To the wedding." "No invitation" "For you." "What about the wedding after" "This one?" "Am I banned from" "That, too?" "OK, please." "Will you guys" "Just please not fight, really." "As a member, future member of" "The family." "Please don't fight." "OK, listen, sir." "Marrying" "Maggie, it's the biggest and" "The scariest decision I've ever" "Made in my life, but it's also," "It's the smartest and the" "Surest, and I just, I love her," "You know?" "I love her fire and" "Her passion." "And I even love" "Her anger." "So it, really, it's" "Important to me, to us," "Mr. Gavin, if we could have... your blessing." "Oh... oh, hell." "Welcome to the family... retard." "That's... that's so great." "Goddammit!" "Sheesh!" "And they wonder why we kill." "Hello?" "Hey, girl." "It's me." "You must be psychic." "I've" "Been thinking about you all day." "Yeah, I've been thinking" "About you, too." "Where you at?" "I'm at home." "Really?" "Hey, uh, how about" "I come over there." "Uh... how about I meet you out" "Somewhere, or we go back to" "Your place?" "Franco?" "Nat, what's going on, huh?" "What do you mean?" "I think you got something" "Going on over there, OK?" "Something you don't want me" "Knowing about." "Now are you gonna" "Come clean or what?" "It's complicated." "Is it a guy?" "Yeah." "But it isn't what" "You think." "Yeah, well, then why don't" "You explain it to me then, OK?" "Let it ring." "Mr. Reilly." "Hello." "What do you want?" "I came to apologize for" "The other day." "You're lucky I didn't talk" "To your supervisor." "The shit you said." "You have to understand," "I see the pain." "So much of it." "The afflicted, they are free" "From it as far as we know." "But the families, the loved ones" "Left behind." "If you don't want" "To let go, I understand." "But your Jeannie, just because" "She living in another world," "That doesn't mean you have to" "Stop living in this one." "I wish you the best." "What did you say your" "Name was?" "Karla?" "Karleen." "Thanks, karleen." "Thanks a lot." "My heart's a lot lighter now." "I'll see you soon." "I hope." "So, dude, she gets all quiet." "Big moment of drama." "Oh, boy." "Yeah." "Hey, Chief." "Good morning." "Good morning, boys." "What's up, Chief." "Anyway," "She cops to it, man." "She is" "Living with a dude." "Holy shit." "You were right." "Well, almost." "It's her" "Brother." "He's, like, uh," "A little slow." "So she looks" "After him." "I'm going over there" "Tonight, I'm gonna meet him." "Crisis averted." "Oh, jeez." "Good work, brother." "Nice to hear." "Yeah." "Hey, how's it going?" "Hey, how are you, can I" "Help you?" "Uh, yeah, Mike Siletti works" "Here, right?" "Uh, yeah." "He's upstairs." "No, that's OK." "I just wanted" "To drop this off." "He left it" "At my place." "I'm Chris." "He's" "Probably never mentioned me." "No, I don't think so." "Well, I'm not surprised." "Anyway, I didn't know if this" "Was important." "It looks kind of" "Official." "This is a transfer." "What is this, a joke?" "I don't think so." "That is" "Mike's signature right there." "Jesus Christ." "You work day" "In and day out with a guy," "You think you know him." "Well, I'm sure there are some" "Other things about Mike" "You don't know." "Oh, yeah, like what?" "Well, let's just say, he's" "A big fan of sex in the city." "Oh, me, too." "It's a great" "Show." "You know what I never" "Understood?" "Why we never got" "To see Sarah Jessica parker's" "Tits." "You know, I mean cynthia" "Nixon, sure." "Kim cattrell," "Why not?" "Never Sarah Jessica" "Parker's." "All right, let's just put it" "This way." "He's playing for the" "Other team, dude." "No way." "What's up, dude?" "What's up, dude, that's all" "You got to say to me?" "Pretty much." "OK, for your information," "Chris was just here." "All right," "I know everything." "I know what's" "Going on." "Chris was here?" "That's right." "Oh, shit." "Yeah, I mean, we're such" "Good friends." "Huh, Mike, when" "Were you gonna tell me" "About this?" "Never." "Asshole." "I was confused." "Yeah, OK, well, now I'm" "Confused, too, all right?" "Why didn't you talk to me" "About it?" "Maybe I would've gone" "The same way." "Get out of here." "Yeah, bro." "I like to keep it" "Fresh." "I like to try new things." "Switch hit." "Different positions." "How can you go around behind" "Our backs and do this?" "Sean, you gotta know the" "Truth." "It was just Chris." "Oh, don't pin this on him." "But it was him." "I mean, we're" "Talking maybe a half a dozen" "Blow jobs." "It was always him" "Blowing me, I never kissed him" "Or slept in the same bed" "With him." "It was just the blow" "Jobs, I swear." "OK, what are we talking" "About here?" "I'm talking about what Chris" "Told you." "Yeah, all Chris told me" "About was this transfer order." "Holy shit!" "Sean, please, just don't tell" "Anybody." "Ba ba ba boom ." "Mike's gay." "Oh, hell." "I know that." "You talked to Chris, too?" "Who's Chris?" "Chris is his lover man," "Uh, guy." "I can explain, Lou." "Please," "Just don't let anybody" "Else know." "Know what?" "Mike's gay." "Yeah." "Tell me something" "I don't know." "Oh, you mean, gay gay." "You know, the place I used" "To live, they were putting this" "New building up across the" "Street, and every morning on" "My way to work, I'd pass by" "The construction guys out there." "And there was this one guy," "Chris, and I noticed him a" "Couple of times, and one day," "I was passing by, he sort of," "Like, smiled at me." "OK, I think I'm gonna puke." "It freaked me out, too." "You know, every morning, he'd," "Like, give me this, like, smile." "And one day, when I stepped out," "He wasn't there." "Did you check the end of" "Your cock?" "Lou." "Let him talk." "Go ahead, kid." "He was gone, and I sort of," "Like... missed him." "All right." "My balls just" "Went up behind my lungs." "I don't know how to describe" "The way I was feeling, you know?" "He was a nice guy." "And we" "Started talking, and, um," "You know, I guess, I was," "Like, lonely or something." "So I moved into his place," "And it was great at first," "And... then it got weird." "Oh." "Then it got weird." "'Cause I was wondering when" "That was gonna kick in." "He was into me in... that way." "That's when the blow" "Jobs started." "And it freaked me out at first," "Guys." "I knew it wasn't right" "For me, you know?" "L-L-I... he's gone, I'm not with him." "It's over, I left, and that's" "The whole story." "Bullshit, Mike, what about" "The transfer?" "I filled the form out, but I" "Didn't turn it in." "Cut the shit, Mike." "You" "Already got your new house all" "Picked out." "How do you know that?" "Because, he's playing for" "Their softball team." "What?" "Yeah." "Your boyfriend, Chris, he" "Told me that you were batting" "For the other team." "What?" "OK, ignoring that, we have" "A serious issue here." "It's a" "Matter of what everyone is" "Comfortable with." "Given the" "Close quarters we share on a" "Daily basis, I don't know where" "The hell to even start." "Yeah, I'll tell you where" "To start, Chief." "I don't want" "Him showering with us, that's" "For sure." "Nothing personal," "Mikey, I just don't need you" "Staring at my hangdown like it's" "The ala carte special at" "Chez homo." "You know what, and another" "Thing, I don't want to know" "About your new boyfriends, or" "Your new clothes, or nights out" "At the disco, or liza minnelli" "Or ass toys." "Off limits from" "Now on." "I'm not gay." "I didn't do" "Anything sexual to him, you" "Know?" "I'm totally into chicks." "Totally." "And..." "I'm... seeing" "This girl for the past couple" "Of weeks." "Yeah." "A girl named dave." "You know what?" "If this is" "The way it's gonna be, if I" "Can't make a little mistake in" "My personal life, then maybe" "I should transfer!" "Hey, hey, kid." "Wait." "Wait, wait, wait." "Come here." "Come here." "Listen, guys." "Better or worse," "I think we all consider" "Ourselves kind of a family here." "Correct?" "Yeah, right?" "All right?" "Now whether Mike's a fag... sorry, Mike." "Or not, he's a" "Part of that family." "Correct?" "I think as a firefighter, he's," "You know, been starting to" "Pull his own weight." "You know?" "You know, and maybe he acts" "A little faggy from time to" "Time." "Sorry, Mike." "But you know," "In the shit, he's been learning," "He's been performing." "I mean," "Johnny stack would not be alive" "Today without mikey here." "Right?" "As far as it goes here" "In the house, I trust the kid." "You know?" "I feel like if I'm," "You know, if I'm stuck somewhere" "In the job, that he's got my," "Uh, you know, he's got me" "Covered." "Come here, kid." "Come here." "Thanks, Tommy." "I love you, man." "I got no problem with this." "10 bucks says mikey's hard." "I heard that." "I'm in." "I'll take a piece of that." "Hey." "So how you doing?" "Good." "Come on in." "Yeah." "Wow." "Incredible." "I'm finally getting to look" "At the place." "Starting to think you lived" "In a cardboard box somewhere." "Richard, come say hi." "He" "Loves meeting new people." "Great." "This is my big brother rich." "Rich, this is Franco." "How's it going?" "Oh, uh, great, man." "How you doing?" "I mean, other" "Than the obvious stuff." "Sorry." "If you want to run, do it" "Now and get it over with." "No, sweetheart." "Not me." "I'm sticking." "Play checkers with me." "Checkers?" "Yeah, sure." "I thought the three of us" "Could go out and get something" "To eat." "I'll just go wash up." "You guys play a game, and I'll" "Change and come back." "Don't take long." "You'll be fine." "Let him" "Win, rich." "Sit down." "Oh, yeah." "What's your name again?" "Oh, I'm Franco." "Franco." "I go first." "Sure." "Now you go." "All right, um... you know, I really, I don't" "Know this game that well." "I'll move for you." "OK." "Thanks, rich." "You suck." "Yeah." "Well, uh..." "I don't" "Think the learning curve's" "That steep." "I'll figure it out." "Uh, dude, I really don't think" "You should be... plastic's not" "For eating, man." "Nat!" "Don't tell her." "I will kick your goddamn ass." "No problem." "Your move." "All right." "What have you got there?" "Just a little motivation." "I don't know if he can get" "Through this, Tom." "God knows" "If anybody can, it's him." "We picked this place out." "To retire to." "Bought it last" "Fall." "I've been buying" "Furniture and patio furniture," "And pillows." "Lots of pillows." "God, he hates pillows." "Anyways, he kept, he kept saying" "He was gonna put in for his" "Pension, you know?" "Not that he" "Was serious." "I think he was" "Just yessing me to death." "He lived for the job." "But now," "If he goes, what do I get?" "At least the widows from 9/11," "Not that you can put a price" "On any one life, I know that," "But at least they have some" "Money to carry on." "Me, I got" "Nothing." "Half a husband." "And a house." "Full of pillows." "I don't know, maybe if he wakes" "Up and sees this, maybe it will" "Give him some strength." "Maybe" "We'll both end up there somehow." "That wasn't so bad." "You're" "Really good with him." "Yeah, well, you know, I've" "Had a lot of practice." "Couple" "Guys in my house are only a" "Notch or two above your brother," "If that." "Man, how did I get so lucky?" "I don't know." "I was just" "Thinking the same thing myself." "Nigger." "Did he just..." "Richard, watch your language." "Did he just call me a nigger?" "He has a little tourette's" "Thing going on in addition to" "Everything else." "Right, uh, papa, I'm" "Puerto rican." "If you want to" "Call me a name, at least try to" "Keep it in the right ballpark," "OK?" "Keep walking." "I'm tired." "OK." "Nigger." "Whoa, whoa." "What did you" "Just call me, man?" "Uh, hey, brother." "It's cool." "He was talking to me." "Oh, it's cool, it's cool?" "He just calls you a nigger and" "That's cool?" "What kind of stupid" "Ass nigger are you?" "I'm puerto rican, man." "Oh, goddamn spic." "Look, man." "We don't want any" "Problems, all right?" "It's cool." "Nigger." "OK, we got to go." "Sorry, man." "Sorry." "Come on, guys." "What the hell happened to my" "Bunker gear?" "It's like somebody" "Washed it and it shrank." "That's mine." "That's my" "New gear." "What?" "You know, Maggie, she didn't" "Want to take my name after we" "Get married, so I thought I'd" "Take hers, you know?" "I'm gonna" "Be Sean Garrity-Gavin." "You're shitting me, right?" "No." "God, not at all." "I mean, it's too many" "Goddamn letters to put on the" "Back." "Plus there's that slashy" "Dashy thing." "What's that called?" "The hyphen." "Yeah, so I just, I thought" "I'd use yours." "I mean, I know" "It's gonna be problematic seeing" "Us two brothers working at the" "Same house, but we'll figure" "It out." "My life's officially in" "The shitter, by the way." "Listen, don't look now," "But you're going for another" "Lap around the bowl." "Christ." "Um..." "I'd call the cops, but looks" "Like they're already here." "You all right?" "Yeah, I'll be all right." "Hey." "I'm here because, uh... you know," "I didn't want you finding out" "From somebody else." "Janet's pregnant." "It wasn't planned." "You know, it just happened." "It is what it is." "And we're happy." "Obviously, we don't know what" "The sex of the child is, but" "Look at the upside, Tommy." "If it's a boy, then dad can" "Stop with that whole male heir" "Bullshit thing that he keeps" "Talking about." "OK, Tommy?" "You're asking me if it's OK?" "Yeah." "Congratulations." "You coming?" "Yeah."

"I can't believe the Yankees fired me." "Well, you had a good run." "You took them to the World Series." "I gotta give the players most of the credit for that." "Don't sell yourself short." "You made flight arrangements, hotels, buses." "No, I don't know who was doing that." "So when you actually did work, what is it that you did?" "I'll tell you, they had a pastry cart you wouldn't believe." "Here we go." "Your latte." "Your cappuccino." "Maybe I should ask her out." "She is a good waitress." "It's true." "Maybe I'll take her to the Tonys." "You're going to the Tonys?" "Yeah, I wrote some jokes for the show and they gave me two tickets." "Why didn't you ask me?" "I know a million theater jokes." "What's the deal with those guys down in the pit?" "They're musicians." "That's not a joke." "It's a funny observation." "Severance package?" "The Yankees are giving me three months' full pay for doing nothing." "They did it for three years." "What's another few months?" "I'm gonna do something with these three months." "Like what?" "I'm gonna read a book from beginning to end, in that order." "I've always wanted to do that." "I'm going to play Frolf." "You mean golf?" "Frolf." "Frisbee golf, Jerry." "Golf with a Frisbee." "This is gonna be my time." "Time to taste the fruits and let the juices drip down my chin." "I proclaim this "The Summer of George."" "And then Peterman ate it." "I never told him." "Who is that?" "That's Sam the new girl in Accounting." "What's with her arms?" "They just hang like salamis." "She walks like an orangutan." "Better call the zoo." "What?" "Catty." "It's like she's carrying invisible suitcases." "Like this?" "Yes, exactly." "That is so strange." "Right." "So why am I the one who gets:" "I mean, they were being just as catty as I was." "It's a double standard." "Oh, and what about ladies' night?" "Women admitted free before 1 0?" "That is so stupid." "Hey, The White Shadow is on." "Boy, you're really packing it all in." "Jerry, my vacation has just started." "I need a day or two to decompress." "Besides, I did plenty today." "Like what?" "I bought a new recliner with a fridge built right into it." "Hey, Jerry, you got any TUMS?" "Stomachache?" "I drank too much water in the shower." "Top of the fridge." "Hey, George, I'm taking that waitress to the Tonys." "Shadow." "Oh, the Tonys?" "I'll see you there, buddy." "You're going to the Tonys too?" "Roger that." "Where are you sitting?" "Well, all over the place." "I'm a seat-filler." "They don't like to see empty seats on TV." "Somebody gets up, I park my caboose in their spot until they get back." "How did you get that job?" "Mickey, he hooked me up." "Yeah, he's a member of the academy." "What academy?" "Well, he didn't say." "Hi." "Hi." "Nice tuxedo." "Thanks." "It's a breakaway." "Should we go?" "Absolutely." "Lyle, we're going." "All right." "Jerry, this is Lyle." "Hey, how you doing?" "Okay." "Bye." "Have a good time." "Thanks Lyle." "Are you leaving?" "Because I got you covered." "I'll just go ahead and get in there." "Just a minute." "What are you doing?" "My job." "What are you doing?" "They catch the two of us on TV, you might have a little explaining to do." "So you and Lyle are roommates?" "No." "Gay?" "What?" "ls he gay?" "No." "Are you sure?" "I think I would know." "This is a new one." "Turkey jerky?" "Go ahead, take a pull." "More for me." "And the Tony for best musical is awarded to Scarsdale Surprise." "Lewis Maxtone-Graham, Douglas Ewing Benjamin London, Polly Kennedy, producers." "Kramer?" "Thank you and bless you all." "This truly has been a Scarsdale Surprise." "Elaine, am I crazy?" "I just get the feeling that Dugan and the others are making fun of me all the time." "Well, you might wanna think about maybe moving your arms a little when you walk." "My arms?" "You know, sort of swing them so you're not lurching around, you know, like a caveman." "I'm a caveman?" "No, no, no, it's just that" "Everyone told me what a catty shrew you were." "You're horrible." "She had a dude?" "When I went to pick her up, there was this dude." "How do you know it was her dude?" "lt could've been just some dude?" "Dudes in this town are a dime a dozen." "I reckon." "Or maybe she just wanted to go to the Tonys." "I tell you what." "Ask her out again." "No Tony, just Jerry." "That way you know if the dude is her dude or some dude." "Dude." "Yeah." "All right, that's enough." "I gotta go home and take a nap." "It's 1 0:30 in the morning." "What can I tell you, I'm wiped." "So has the Summer of George begun, or are you still decomposing?" "Decompressing." "Well, good morning, gentlemen, and Tony says hello to you." "You didn't give that thing back?" "Jerry, it was a whirlwind." "They whisk us backstage." "The media is swarming." "Champagne is flowing." "I can't describe how great it is to win." "That's because you didn't win." "Scarsdale Surprise." "That's the musical about the Scarsdale diet doctor murder." "Featuring the mind-blowing performance of Miss Raquel Welch." "You haven't even seen it." "Oh, Jerry, I'm not gonna let you bring me down off this high." "I've been partying all night." "I saw the sun rise at Liza's." "Minnelli's?" "No." "Sam, listen." "I am so sorry about the other day." "No, don't apologize, Elaine." "I was thinking that maybe I should swing my arms a little bit more." "See, yeah, I mean, that's all I was saying." "How's this?" "Or this?" "Or this?" "Or this?" "Or this?" "Well you seem to be getting the hang of it." "Hi." "Sorry, I'm running late." "I just lost track of time." "No rush." "Hey, Jerr, what's up?" "I have absolutely no idea." "Can you believe she expected me to squire her around town while the dude sits at home in swaddling clothes?" "Do they make swaddling clothes for adults?" "It's like she's put the role of boyfriend into two jobs." "Except the dude's playing the showroom and I'm stuck doing food and beverage." "Hey." "Who's that?" "It's Kramer." "Hey, Kramer." "George says hi." "Hi, George." "How's that Tony?" "Why don't you just come over here?" "Why can't I do this on the phone?" "What's Kramer doing now?" "He's looking in the refrigerator." "Kramer." "Anything good in there?" "Any Popsicles?" "I cannot do this." "So, what's George doing?" "He's not doing anything." "Goodbye." "I'm gonna grab a bite to eat at Sardi's." "You wanna go?" "Are you taking the Tony to Sardi's?" "The Tony is taking me to Sardi's." "Oh, hello." "Well, I'm going." "Congratulations." "Well, thank you." "Thank you so much." "I have so many people I want to thank." "I don't want to forget anyone." "All right." "All right." "I said no." "Jerry, I just want to let you know Lyle and I are completely over." "I'd rather be with you." "Just me?" "No dudes or fellers?" "What do you think?" "I can start right away." "But not here." "I'm not here." "Leave a message." "Jerry, what's happening?" "Jerry, come on, pick up the phone." "So, I said to him, "Arthur, Artie, bubele why does the salesman have to die?" "Change the title." "The Life of a Salesman." "That's what people want to see."" "Excuse me, Mr. Kramer." "My name is Lewis Maxtone-Graham." "I'm one of the producers of Scarsdale Surprise." "Oh, hey." "Yeah." "Lew!" "We need to talk." "Elaine, what did you want to talk to me about?" "This." "My office." "Sam trashed my office." "Well, I see what's going on here." "I am smack-dab in the middle of a good old-fashioned catfight." "Mr. Peterman, this is not a catfight." "This is violent, psychotic behavior, directed at me all because I told her to swing her arms." "Do you mean:" "Yes, that's the one." "Good day, Elaine." "Oh, no, please, Mr. Peterman." "She's crazy." "Crazy for feeling" "So lonely" "I can't believe how much we did this afternoon." "I have a friend, today would be his whole life." "Now, what time are you picking me up tonight?" "You got reservations at Sfuzzi, didn't you?" "Oh, yeah, Sfuzzi." "I gotta do that." "Should I wear the outfit I bought?" "Sure." "Which one?" "The one with the:" "If I'm gonna get my hair cut, I better go." "Call me when you get home." "I won't be there but leave a message so I know." "Okay." "Okay." "Do you mind?" "No, I'll grab them, yeah." "Hey." "I've done that today." "What?" "Did you lose your remote?" "No, cable's out." "What's with you?" "You look dead." "It's Lanette." "I need, like, an assistant or an intern or something." "Relationship intern, huh?" "Hey, what if the two of us teamed up?" "Not...?" "No, no." "No, because that's" "No." "Listen, we're always sitting here." "I help you with your girl problems." "You help with my girl problems." "Where do we end up?" "Here." "Exactly, because neither one of us can handle a woman by ourselves." "I'm trying." "I've tried." "We don't have it." "But maybe the two of us, working together at full capacity could do the job of one normal man." "And each of us would only have to be, like, a half-man." "That sounds about right." "We understand how excited you are.... ..to have this very, very prestigious award." "But you didn't have anything to do with the actual production." "No." "I'm afraid there is no way we can allow you to keep this Tony." "What?" "Unless" "Anything." "Are you familiar with our star..." "..." "Raquel Welch?" "She's fantastic." "She's a train wreck." "There's a big tap-dance number before Jean Harris leaves The Madeira School to confront Dr. Tarnower." "lt is a gut-wrenching scene." "Yes." "But Raquel Welch doesn't move her arms when she tap dances." "It's very distracting." "There is a lot of this...in tap dancing." "So you'd like me to teach her how to dance?" "No, we want you to fire her." "Why do they want you to fire Raquel Welch?" "Because they're terrified of her." "I heard they cut one of her lines." "She climbed up a rope on the side of the stage and started dropping lights on people's heads." "A story like that's gotta be true." "She seems very nice." "Jerry, you're not in show business." "You don't know what these people are like." "I'm in show business." "Oh, come on." "What am I going to do?" "She's gonna eat me alive." "I got a tape of Fantastic Voyage, if you think that'll help." "I'll take it." "Jerry, that crazy straight-arm woman down at Peterman's trashed my office." "And then listen to this." "This is the message she left me." "Elaine, I am going to find you." "If not in your office, then in the Xerox room or the small conference room next to the kitchen, or the kitchen." "I mean, she must have a blueprint of the building or something." "Did you tell Peterman about this?" "Well, I tried." "But he thought it was some sort of a catfight." "Catfight?" "Okay." "Why?" "Why do guys do this?" "What is so appealing to men about a catfight?" "Catfight." "Because men think if women are grabbing and clawing at each other there's a chance they might somehow kiss." "You got the tickets?" "Yeah." "Two for the 7:1 5 of Lenore's Promise." "What, are you wearing a green sweater?" "I like it." "Lanette doesn't." "Here's your blue one." "It's her favorite." "What?" "Just put it on." "All right." "Now, remember she got her nails done today so remark on how you like the color." "And if you need me, you beep me." "All right?" "Here, here." "There you go." "There you go." "All right." "Go get them." "You're a tiger!" "Hey, George, one second." "She's having a party Friday." "She wants me to do the invitations." "A little notice would have helped." "How many people?" "Thirty-five." "And George, on the invitations" "Yeah, I know." "Don't skimp." "Go, go." "Right on time." "I like that." "I like your nails." "That is a great color." "Love the sweater." "This old thing?" "Hi, I need some party invitations." "Okay." "Have you been in here before?" "About a year ago." "Wedding invitations." "Right." "How did that all work out?" "No complaints." "Well, they're arranged according to price, and as I recall...." "Actually, I'll take these nice, glossy ones." "You are a fraud, Dr. Tarnower." "You haven't even been to Scarsdale." "Miss Welch." "Hi." "Who are you?" "Well, I'm Cosmo Kramer." "I'm one of the producers." "Hello." "Sidney." "No." "No, I told you I don't want to do that." "If you bring it up again, I'll feed your genitals to a wolf." "Kids." "You're still here?" "Well, Miss Welch I do need to talk to you about a little problem regarding your performance." "What kind of problem?" "Well, it seems that due to the vagaries of the production parameters vis-à-vis the fragmenting of the audience, due to cable television..." "...carnivals, water parks" "Out with it." "You're fired." "You don't use your arms when you tap dance." "You're like a gorilla." "I gotta go." "A little help?" "Hey, Frolf?" "Yeah." "You know, we need a fourth for the back nine." "You want in?" "What's the deal with airplane peanuts?" "Yeah, sure." "Come on." "Well, I'm ready." "Let's towel it up." "Jerry, where are those invitations you were supposed to get?" "If they don't go out today, they're useless." "But we're in towels." "Jerry." "All right, one second." "He Frolfs...he scores!" "Hello." "George, where are those invitations?" "You were supposed to leave them with her doorman." "Did you shave your chest hair?" "No." "Did you at least pick them up?" "Yeah, yeah, super glossy, the best they had." "Well, get them over here pronto." "We're at towels here, George." "All right." "All right." "Keep your towel on." "What?" "It's a joke." "All right." "That's not bad." "Now get over here." "if not in your apartment, then in the laundry room or the ATM in the building across the street or the watch shop!" "Can't you do anything about this?" "I mean, this woman is a psycho." "Look, just because I'm a woman doesn't mean" "I don't move my arms when I dance?" "That's my signature." "Would you just keep an eye out for this woman?" "She's about, I don't know, yay high and she doesn't swing her arms when she walks." "What do you mean?" "Like this:" "What the hell is that?" "Are you making fun of my dancing?" "Aren't you Raquel Welch?" "You know who I am." "Now, what are you doing?" "Nothing." "I just wasn't moving my arms." "That's it." "You're going down." "Catfight." "So how's George?" "I don't know." "They won't tell me anything." "What's that?" "Tony." "What happened to you?" "Raquel Welch." "What happened to you?" "Raquel Welch." "The woman is a menace." "Yeah." "I bumped into her on the street." "It got pretty ugly." "A catfight with Raquel Welch." "My God, George." "I slipped on the invitations." "How's the towels?" "They're back on the rack." "Even with the two of us?" "I think we're still a man short." "Mr. Costanza your legs have sustained extensive trauma." "Apparently, your body was in a state of advanced atrophy due to a period of extreme inactivity." "But with a lot of hard work and a little bit of luck I think there's a good chance you may, one day, walk again." "Well, that's good news." "Wow, invitations again." "Yeah, that's weird." "All right." "Well...." "You want to grab some coffee?" "Yeah, coffee." "I'd like to get some coffee." "Okay." "This was supposed to be the Summer of George." "The Summer of George." "Summer of George." "Swing them." "Swing them." "Right?" "Okay?" "Sort of swing." "Swing them." "Just swing them." "I can't do it." "Okay?" "It's hard." "Come on." "Okay?" "Here we go." "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah" "There's still a little summer left."

"Hey, everybody." "Welcome to Bull Mountain... a slice of heaven... nestled in the cleavage of Alaska's high country." "It all started when a young buck named Herbert Muntz... saw the promise of a new life... and staked his claim to it the old-fashioned way-- he stole it from the Eskimos." "'Round these parts, he became known as "Papa."" "Each year, Papa would say thank you... by dropping' his britches... and blazing down that mountain bare-assed... in one of his famous "moon-shine" runs." "Papa loved to ski... and Papa loved to drink... but most of all, Papa loved to ski and drink... at the same time." "Last year, he died with his boots on..." "Bull Mountain, don't go changin'!" "And not much else." "Nowadays, Papa's boy runs the mountain." "But us locals still carry on the free-wheelin' spirit... of Papa's life." "You could say that this mountain's a lot like a woman." "Just when you think you know every inch of her... and you're about to dip your skis... into some soft, deep powder" "You got two broke legs, cracked ribs... then you pay your twenty bucks... just to let her punch your lift ticket all over again." "News flash." "Muntz is selling the mountain." "The entire mountain?" "Why would he want to get rid of this place?" "I like this place exactly the way it is." "Maybe the buyer can supply... the mountain with what it really needs-- hot friggin' chicks." "Guys, you know, more girls?" "Let's give Lance a chance, all right?" "I gotta refuel the tanks." "Jenny, what's going on?" "Jenny!" "What's up, guys?" "What, are you drinking without me?" "Hey, Lance." "Hey, girlfriend." "What you drinkin'?" "Whatever the lady would like, just put it on my tab." "I will have a beer, then." "And five shots of Goldschlager, please." "Rick, you are an idiot not to go for Jenny... and don't give me this broken heart rigamarole." "Are you sniffing me?" "There you go." "Thank you." "Man." "If I was her..." "I'd be gettin' with every dude on this mountain." "Hey, boys." "You're killin' me!" "Cheers, everybody!" "People." "And Pig Pen, my poor excuse for a brother." "Our boy Rick here... has been bitching and moaning all week long..." "I have not." "And I think it's time that we do something... to cheer him up." "Don't you agree?" "Perhaps tonight is the night that we crown this year's..." "King of the Mountain." "Did somebody just say..." "King of the Mountain?" "I know you want to defend your title." "If I must." "Good evening." "You all know the rules of King of the Mountain." "Rule number one-- you do not talk about King of the Mountain." "Rule number two-- there are no rules." "What about rule number one?" "That's more of a guideline than a rule." "Do not interrupt!" "And now, the three-peat champion of King of the Mountain..." "Rick Rambis." "Richard?" "OK." "Here's how it works." "Everyone must have a beer." "It's a race to the bottom." "The first one to the statue of Papa Muntz... with the most beer in your glass--Pig Pen-- shall be proclaimed this year's King of the Mountain." "And, as an added bonus... you also win the contents of Eric's stolen wallet... which are, Luke?" "Two bucks... a condom... expiration date 1 997... and a picture of his grandma--no!" "That's Nancy Reagan." "But most importantly... pushing, shoving, and cheating are encouraged." "Try not to wipe out like you did last year... and the year before, and both years before that." "Thanks, Luke, I really appreciate that." "No problem." "Pig Pen, if you would." "Strap 'em in." "On your marks, get set" "Everybody ready?" "Go!" "Suckers!" "Cheater!" "Not tonight, Pig Pen!" "Go grand, Anthony!" "Don't wipe out." "Here I come, baby!" "Damn!" "Coming through." "Get away from my head!" "Stop!" "Hey, no fair!" "Nice!" "Shit!" "Ride 'em, cowboy!" "Go!" "Let's move it!" "Don't let him pass!" "We got him, Jenny!" "Go!" "Come on!" "We're gonna beat him!" "Where did he come from?" "His mug's empty." "The beer!" "Beer?" "I got beer!" "I got it!" "Come on!" "If you haven't kissed up to the king, let me know." "Goin' to drink, everybody!" "Actually, I have to turn in." "I have to give Mr. Mays a snowboard lesson." "I got fag practice in the morning, so I understand." "Walk me home, Your Highness." "Guys, stop!" "If you're planning on coming up... with some lame-ass excuse to get into my house... just so we can "hook up"..." "I might let you." "Not that you're being... particularly charming or anything." "I guess it's the moonlight and a bottle of Goldschlager... that just brings out the romance in a girl." "Can I ask you something?" "You broke up with your boyfriend this summer, right?" "Are we about to have another conversation... about how you're still on the rebound?" "I guess not." "Look, Rick, I feel for you, 'cause I've been through it... but it's time to move on." "The general rule of thumb is one week of mourning... for every six months you were together... so you were together, what, two weeks?" "Three weeks." "OK." "Three weeks." "So, then that means" "I get it." "You're right." "It's stupid." "Yes, it is." "So, you still want to hook up?" "You gotta try a lot harder than that, Rick." "So, you still want to hook up?" "How's that?" "Good night." "Good night." "See you tomorrow." "Later." "Hey, listen." "You better enjoy your reign as King now, because next year..." "I'm Queen of the Mountain, baby." "We'll see about that." "Passed out again." "Fire!" "Well, boys, what's it gonna be tonight?" "We gonna shave his eyebrows?" "Passe." "Done that, took pictures." "I'm gonna need a bucket, a paint brush... and ten pounds of salt." "Lance, get his pants." "Where are you taking him?" "Come on!" "Try to hold up his fat ass." "Look at him." "Shoo!" "Get!" "Good boy--I mean, girl." "Good girl." "My ass is numb!" "Look alive, Eric." "John Majors!" "Ted Muntz." "It's so good to finally meet you in person." "Welcome to Bull Mountain." "The Eskimos around here have a saying" "Slow down there, Nanook." "You're gonna give yourself an aneurysm." "Will you smell that, boys?" "Smells like money." "This place has got some serious potential." "I can see it now, huh?" "Can't you see it?" "Condominiums, eateries, shopping, wine bars, cigar bars." "What the hell--bar bars!" "Yeah, we can totally sell this whole rustic bit." "This is a diamond in the rough." "That's good." "Write that down for the brochure." "No, wait." "Better yet" ""Black diamond in the rough."" "You know?" "Sort of a ski thing." "I'm Eric Montclair." "Well, who asked you?" "Just kidding, Short Stack." "So it's some mountain, huh?" "Yeah, but the name "Bull Mountain"-- it's a little too... shitty." "You want to rename the mountain?" "Yeah." "Something good." "I'm gonna have to polish this turd... if I want to sell my investors on it." "I mean, your hotel looks like a Motel 6... ate a yard sale and barfed it out." "Muntz, there's some really pissed off Eskimos... outside right now, man." "They say they want their land back." "Very funny, Rambis." "Mr. Majors, this is Rick Rambis-- one of our low to mid-level employees." "You must be the big hotshot who's gonna buy the mountain." "John Majors of Major Resorts." "Rick Rambis of Rick Rambis." "You any good on that board there, son?" "I'm all right." "You wouldn't mind playing tour guide... to an old fart like me, would you?" "Actually, Rick's got a pretty heavy workload tomorrow... but I would be delighted to show you around the mountain." "No offense, Short Stack, but you give me the creeps." "I think Rick here'll do just fine." "You don't mind, do you Rick?" "No problem." "Good." "First thing in the morning." "I'll take a Geritol so I can keep up." "Chop chop with them bags there." "So, what does this mean, selling the mountain?" "I don't know." "Maybe this guy will be cool." "Maybe he'll help us build a lift up to Hangman's Peak." "Can you get an STD from a polar bear?" "What is your brother doing?" "What do we got, Whitey?" "Solid Gold Dancers trapped on Beaver Mountain." "Somebody help us!" "Looks pretty hairy, sir." "Just the way I like it!" "Lock 'em and load 'em, boys!" "I'm goin' in!" "What are we gonna do?" "Please, the whole cabin is freezing!" "We're saved!" "Good morning, ladies." "The name's Pen." "A suit." "I need everybody to be calm and take your tops off." "And tie them together." "Now!" "Move!" "I don't have time to discuss this!" "Wicked!" "You." "Grab me around my waist." "Lower." "Nice." "You, get the door!" "The door's stuck!" "Just jiggle it!" "It's gonna be OK, ladies." "Jiggle more!" "You have to jiggle the handle." "Jiggle it." "Open the door, Pig Pen!" "Come on, man." "Jiggle it." "Open the door!" "I'm coming!" "He's had a crush on that bench for a long time." "Did you enjoy your nap?" "So, Rick, did you hit it last night or what?" "No, man, we just talked." "God." "You know, maybe... we should clarify something." "When you won the race last night... that made you King of the Mountain." "Not King of the No-ball Pussy Losers." "They already have their own king-- my brother." "What?" "Are you still hung up on Anna?" "Here's what I don't get, all right, is... you met this chick... and you got freaky-deaky with her... and then, poof!" "She disappears." "How's there a problem with that?" "Pig Pen, when I want advice... about a good "Planet of the Apes" film... or maybe how to get the resin... out of my bong, I'll come to you, OK?" "But I am not gonna take romantic advice from somebody... who cannot spell romantic or advice." "Or bong." "Listen, man, I just want to hear the story, that's all." "I mean, you've never even told me it... not even once." "If I tell you, will you promise to shut up about it?" "I met her at the most beautiful romantic place on earth..." "Cancun, Mexico." "There was this little cantina called Pedro O'Horny's." "Me and Luke, see, we had just shown up... and then I saw her." "From the moment we caught eyes..." "I knew she wasn't like the other girls there." "She was French." "She had her top on." "Plus, she wasn't puking." "Drink!" "We spent every day together for three weeks." "It was like heaven... but you couldn't drink the water." "And then, one day, she asked me... to go on one of them tandem bike rides... but she never showed up." "I never saw Anna again." "Who?" "God!" "Chicken!" "Guys, a little sensitivity here!" "God!" "Can't you see this is a dejected man?" "Well, Rick, get your dejected head out of your ass." "Papa Muntz wanted you to run this mountain." "Carpe the diem!" "Seize the...carp!" "What?" "Make sure you bundle up because it's freezing out there, OK?" "Hey, Toby." "Let me check your boot." "You're good now." "Thanks, Jenny." "You're welcome." "Hey, Jenny, you think you could tie up my boots?" "Stewart, I think you can do up your own boots." "I kind of like the way you do it." "OK." "How about I do up one, and you do the other." "Cool." "The rabbit and the loops..." "I can do it without the song, you know." "I kind of like the song, Stewart." "What's up, Rick?" "What's up, dude?" "Get out of here." "You're welcome." "You're pretty good with these kids, Jenny." "I seem to have a thing for immature boys." "Ouch!" "At least Stewart has his act together enough to ask me out." "I think we're checking out a movie... right after his nap time." "That's what I wanted to talk to you about." "Would you..." "Would I..." "Would you like to have dinner with me tomorrow night?" "I'm sorry." "It sounded like you were asking me out on a date." "We could meet at the inn." "Say, 8:00?" "Right now I have to go seize the carp." "Wish me luck." "I'll see you there." "Morning, Mr. Majors." "Please." "My daddy was Mr. Majors." "Actually, he was Mr. Mankowicz." "Just call me "John."" "OK, John." "Well, where do you want to start?" "Most people can't do the whole mountain in one day." "Well, I ain't most people." "You try and keep up there, hotshot." "You ever been on one of those lesbian chat rooms?" "Are they good?" "I don't know." "You see that up there?" "That's Hangman's Peak." "Damn." "You ski that?" "Yeah." "It's a hustle, but, as you can tell... it's almost impossible to hike." "I think that if we put a lift to the top... it would be the most popular snowboard park... in the entire country." "You know, Rick, what I'll do-- I'll think on that." "'Cause I like your style... and I might need a little help." "Yeah?" "What for?" "Well, my investors, they're coming... to check this place out, and, well, they spook easily." "If this deal's gonna go through... this whole town's gonna have to play ball." "I don't think Muntz has the pull around here... to do that, but... you do." "Can you hear me?" "OK." "As most of you have heard, by next week..." "Bull Mountain will have new management." "I'm selling it... for lots and lots of American dollars... to your future boss Mr. John Majors." "Thank you." "Thank you and good morning." "I can't tell you how happy and excited..." "I am to be here today." "Now, I know we're all gonna be homies... but I do believe in the golden rule... and that is, he who has the gold card makes the rules." "Pipe down, retard." "And to publicize my purchase of the mountain..." "I've invited my board members-- that's the board of directors and my investors-- here for the anniversary festival." "As my employees, you're expected to behave... in a manner consistent with a world-class resort." "Any questions you might have... will be answered in your new rule book... which numbnuts here is gonna pass out." "I think that's you." "And I have a super-duper surprise for all of you-- a brand-new, streamlined... top of the line, high-performance uniform!" "Don't sweat having to pay for 'em." "We'll just deduct the cost from your first paycheck." "Welcome to the Major Resort family!" "There's no business like snow business!" "I told you." "You look great." "It doesn't really allow my dice to roll down there... and by dice, I mean testicles." "Speaking of testicles, let me get a beer." "The suits are not that bad, guys." "Rick, these scuba outfits make us look ridiculous." "Who does this Majors asshole think he is?" "I'm not gonna wear this unitard--period." "Guys, I love Bull Mountain as much as anyone else... but a little change, it's not gonna hurt this place." "I don't know, Rick." "Why would we even want this place to change?" "We don't want it to turn into Aspen." "But have you seen the women from Aspen?" "I--no." "Other than the occasional girl... who comes here on the weekend trip... this place is a sausage factory." "There are gonna be some hotties... some slammin' bods with pants so tight... it looks like they were painted on." "Babe, I love chicks." "Chicks love me, so it's all good." "Calm down, Lance." "Look, Muntz is gonna sell this mountain... and somebody's gonna buy it anyway." "Do you have $1 00 million?" "I don't." "You?" "No." "We're not models." "Guys, look." "All I'm saying is that if we play ball... the mountain will still be ours." "You foolish boys." "This is how it all starts." "I've seen it all before." "I was there." "Yeah." "It was called the eighties." "Ford was president, Nixon was in the White House... and FDR was runnin' this country into the ground." "I was bummin' in a hole-in-the-wall town... in what is now called Utah." "Some fella from Colorado shows up... starts makin' so-called improvements, right?" "Well, 'fore we knew what hit us... the streets are runnin' with latte." "It got so bad that a fellow that liked to... you know, smoke a little grass... or drink a little ripple, crow like a rooster... maybe challenge the mayor's son to a gentleman's duel... was uncouth, against God." "More like bad real estate values." "Stumpy had to go!" "Richard, be careful what you wish for." "You got it, Stump." "I will." "All right?" "God!" "I'm good." "Better put somethin' on that." "Welcome to our local cantina." "I like to stop in and have a..." "Stumpy's right." "You can't let them do that to this place." "Women or no women, we gotta stand on it... and I need to stop talking for a second." "Hey, Rick, come on over here." "No." "You know what?" "You guys are right." "This guy's really bad for business." "I'm gonna go let him know." "Rick, this is my stepdaughter Inga." "Hello there." "Rick, I'd like you and retard to show me the kitchen." "Sweetheart, I got a little work to do." "Buy yourself a drink at the bar." "I won't be long." "Nice place." "When's his lease up?" "Whenever I say it is." "Good." "Hey, boys, look good in those uniforms." "Boys, watch confidence at work." "Be strong." "God, here she comes." "What my friend's trying to say is... welcome to the El Matador... which is Spanish for the matador." "Want a drinkie-poo?" "I was wondering if you can make... a kind of drink." "It's called... what is the word in English for this?" "Horny maker." "One fuzzy navel for the lady." "So you're, like, Majors's daughter?" "Schtepdaughter." "I'm supposed to my schtrepsister be meeting here." "One more fuzzy navel for the lady." "My schtepsister." "It's Anna." "Oh, my God!" "How are you?" "I'm fine." "It's been a long time." "What are you doing here?" "I was having a beer." "In Alaska?" "I like cold beer." "Does that mean--is Rick around?" "No." "You didn't hear?" "Rick perished in a dogsled accident." "Four dogsled pileup." "And it's awful." "The dogs survived, though." "You used to be a much better liar." "Anna, I don't know why you're here, but leave him alone, OK?" "Play it once for old time's sake." "Play what once?" "Well, the song." "Song!" "Please, play it." "OK." "Well, I think I could play it once." "Oh, that's not it?" "No, that's not it." "Very nice, though." "Please." "I don't know if I know" "You know what song I'm talking about." "Please." "All right." "Please play it." "Come on." "He's gonna kill me." "Thank you." "Luke, I thought I told you to never play that..." "Song." "Hey, Anna, you made it!" "Come here, kid." "Give me a hug." "Sweetheart, this is Muntz." "And this bright young man is" "We've met." "Majors is your father?" "Yes." "He likes to think he's Napoleon... working his way across Europe." "His first wife was English, my mother was French... and Inga's mother was Swiss." "And I just hired a Russian girl trainer." "Look out." "Hey, girls, it's bedtime." "We got a long day ahead of us tomorrow." "Come on, Inga." "Retard, walk me out." "I didn't know you were here, Rick." "I'm really sorry." "I really have to go, but..." "Of all the bars in all the ski towns in Alaska... why'd she have to come to this one?" "Thanks." "There you go, Jenny." "Enjoy it." "I don't think he's coming, Jenny." "We'll put him in Rick's car." "Got him, Lance?" "I got him, OK?" "This is gonna be rightly stupid." "Get him in." "I got it." "Come on!" "You sure this is a good idea?" "It might give him a heart attack." "As the inheritor of his estate..." "I take full legal responsibility." "Come on!" "Get out of the way!" "OK, come on." "One, two, three!" "OK, they're packed." "Let's skedaddle." "Spin him!" "One...two...three..." "Oh, my God!" "Oh, God!" "Please!" "I got it!" "We're stopping!" "Lord." "Oh, my God!" "What's wrong with you?" "Oh, God." "I'm sorry." "All right!" "Beautiful!" "This is what you're gonna do to Bull Mountain?" "No." "Snownook." "That's the name my people say tests the best." "Did I ever tell you how I invented snowboarding?" "That's a hot tub, Pig Pen." "Wicked!" "Hey, there." "I don't want credit for it, but they keep givin' it to me." "She's gonna kill me." "Hey, retard." "There's gonna be a lot more changes goin' on here." "Come on, boys!" "You're workin' on my time now." "Wait!" "Hold up!" "I can explain it!" "I can explain everything." "Relax." "I stopped by the bar last night, and Pig Pen told me." "Look, I'm really sorry about that." "I will make it up to you any way that I can." "You don't have to leave." "Don't flatter yourself." "I'm doing my laundry." "So that means you're not mad at me?" "Yeah, I am." "I'll get over it, though." "Look, I really am sorry." "Look, I don't do this pining thing well... so why don't you figure out what the hell it is you want... and let me know?" "Welcome, girlfriend." "Buy you a beer?" "I'm good." "Look, I'd like to apologize if you'll let me." "There's things about me you don't know, Rick." "Now, there's something I have to tell you, though." "You know what?" "Hold that thought." "I don't even care anymore." "Cheers." "Hey, you're dribbling!" "Watch the shoes!" "Sorry." "I'm hot!" "Want to see my piece?" "What?" "See, I just started training for the biathalon." "Where's Inga going?" "Don't you worry, little brother." "I got your back on this one." "I'm gonna do her." "But how does that help me?" "Well, what do you know?" "Just the two of us!" "I got trained." "Inga, I love you!" "Oh, my God!" "Are you hurt?" "Yeah, I think so." "Anthony, is that you?" "Can you go get some ice from the bar?" "This is Alaska." "You're sittin' on ice, little leprechaun." "Yes." "Go, Anthony." "I will wait here with him." "Damn him!" "Tell Inga where it hurts." "Evevywhere." ""Duck."" "Come in." "Make yourself at home." "Just don't hit me anymore in my nuts." "Sorry." "Oh, my God." "This is good?" "Yes, this is very good." "Tell me, where did you get these scars?" "Let's see." "Skateboard... truck accident... and a fire hydrant." "I bet each one has its own exciting story, no?" "No, not really." "I skateboarded off a truck into a fire hydrant." "I never met an American boy before." "Are you all so wild?" "Yeah." "We have a saying around here." "No brains, no headache." "We have a saying in Switzerland, too." "No swimsuit... no tan lines." "We have another saying around here." "What's that?" "I don't know." "I didn't mean to leave you like that in Mexico." "I'm sorry." "I just-- Believe me, I had to." "Why?" "Some other guy come sweep you off your feet?" "You were the other guy." "I don't understand." "I'm engaged." "I was engaged when I met you." "And I love him, Rick." "I really do." "And when I met you..." "I don't know, I just..." "I fell in love with you, too, I guess." "I didn't know what to do." "Hey, it's no problem." "Don't worry about it." "I had ten other engaged chicks fall for me that week, too... so I barely even--which one were you, the brunette?" "Please, I wanted to say good-bye to you... and tell you everything... but when the time came to do it..." "I didn't think I'd be able to, so I left." "And I really did fall for you." "That's why I left." "There, I said what I had to say, so I'm going now." "Wait." "Look, I'm sorry, too, OK?" "For being a prick." "It's just that I was a little...bummed out." "I deserved it." "It's OK." "You did." "You want some coffee or something?" "That would be really nice." "This making out is a lot of fun." "But I'm ready--how do you say-- to schlafenzeit." "Yeah." "Schlafenzeit." "Anything you say." "No." "What are you doing?" "Schlafenzeit." "Sleepy time." "I'm going to bed now." "I'm sleepy." "No, stay." "We'll cuddle." "Good night." "So...your fiance..." "Barry." "He's in medical school." "He's flying up in a couple of days to see me." "That's gonna be a little tricky unless he's a pilot, too." "He's a pilot, too?" "He's a doctor and a pilot?" "I think I want to have sex with this guy." "I have to go now." "Let me show you out." "I just--I want you to know that I am happy for you." "And...this Barry guy is lucky." "Thank you." "Good night." "Go." "Oh, my God." "You need help don't you?" "Just a sec." "How's the hot tub, Luke?" "You know, the Eskimo have nine words... for a hell mooch stuck in a hot tub." "Hell, they only got eight words for snow." "There we go." "Yeah, physics, really." "Expansion and contraction." "All right." "Right here." "One." "Two." "Three!" "Was it worth it?" "Rough night?" "I've had worse." "Thanks." "Anna's getting married." "To some rich asswipe doctor dude named Barry." "He's coming in day after tomorrow." "Ouch!" "Thanks, man." "No." "I got molested by a hot tub last night." "It's a long story." "You know what I really hate about this chick... is that I think--I know that I'm in love with her." "And...it sucks." "Have you told her this?" "No, not really." "Well, listen, you've got to do it before it's too late." "Before she becomes Mrs. Doctor Asswipe." "Otherwise, you're gonna regret it your whole life." ""No regrets." That's my motto." "That and "Everybody Wang Chung Tonight."" "You know what?" "You're right." "You're absolutely right." "I'm not gonna let Anna get away again." "When this Barry guy gets here, I'm gonna have to face him." "And I'm gonna look at him and tell him... like a sensible mature adult..." ""Finders keepers, losers weepers, pal."" "I'll have to work on that one." "And if he doesn't like it... we'll kick his ass." "Definitely." "Attention, all guests..." "Where's Jenny?" "I don't want to go!" "You're going back in line." "Hey, fellas." "Great day, isn't it?" "Man, who the hell are you?" "I'm the new Team Snownook patrol leader." ""Keepin' it real while keepin' it safe."" "You on the roof, knock off the grab-ass." "What the hell is going on here?" "Don't you eyeball me!" "Hey, Luke, why don't you mind your own beeswax... before my fist makes an appointment with your ass?" "Eric, you ever notice that you're always... talking about putting something up my ass?" "And that time, it wasn't even a threat." "Technically, that was flirting." "Wait a second." "Where are you going with the bull?" "Talk to the horn!" "Where are you taking the bull?" "Listen, I've had it with these jackass employees of yours." "This morning, there was a boy... with his little Elvis stuck in my hot tub." "Now, how in the hell does that happen?" "Well, the jets can feel quite nice" "Stop talking." "Effective immediately..." "I'm taking some steps to clean this place up." "Poured out a perfectly good beer." "I love that smell." "That's the smell of you all getting fired." "What, fired?" "Welcome to your first random drug test." "I'll need you to fill these cups." "Go make tinkle, or it's your job." "I don't have to write a test to tell you that I take drugs." "Pig Pen, you go to the bathroom in the cup!" "Jeez." "He's way too into this." "Drink up, half-pint." "I will have your ass!" "How you doing tonight?" "Thanks a lot." "How you doin', ladies?" "Ladies." "Private party tonight, guys." "We're cool, man." "We're regulars here." "Just ask Lance." "What part of "private party" did you miss?" "Hey, there, Rick." "Nice monkey suit." "I barely even recognize this place." "A little face lift." "Can I get a beer?" "Hey, Village Person, why don't you be a macho man... and cut me some limes?" "Hello, stranger." "You clean up pretty nice, Rambis." "Thank you." "You look amazing." "Thank you." "Would you like to dance?" "Sure." "You're not wearing underwear." "You can't with this dress." "Your excuse is better than mine." "Sweetheart." "I need to borrow Fred Astaire here for one hot minute." "Dance with Tito there." "He loves to boogie." "Hi, John!" "Hi, boys." "And then I just sneaked in, and..." "What did they do to the bar?" "How did you guys get in?" "The back door was unlocked." "There's gonna be some big changes on the mountain... once I get in the driver's seat." "But I wanted you to know that I want you to stay on... and to run the day-to-day operations... and be the new manager of Snownook." "You serious?" "Of course I'm serious." "Here's your contract." "Take a gander." "That's a big number." "Not bad." "But as the new manager... all my friends get to stay on board, right?" "You drive a hard bargain, son, but done deal." "Thanks, John." "Don't thank me." "You deserve it." "Welcome to the team, pard." "You are good." "You're messing with" "I'm gonna take Kung Fu and kick your friggin' ass." "We'll have the party at our place." "We don't need their fancy-shmancy shit... and their blue ropes." "What's up, man?" "What's going on here?" "If you ain't on the list... there's nothing I can do for you, buddy." "Ladies, how you doing?" "I'm good." "Mind if we join you?" "Not at all." "Go on, have fun." "I'm likin' that." "Come on, man." "Give me a break." "What's up?" "Are you from around here?" "OK, then $40." "All the locals in free." "Come on." "Let me get some of that." "Cheers!" "Ladies, you're missing out." "Say hello to the new manager..." "of the mountain." "You straight?" "Come here!" "Hey, everybody!" "Cut the music off!" "Pig Pen, put her down!" "Our friend little Rick Rambis... is the new manager of the mountain, y'all!" "And you're all fired!" "Every one of you!" "Are you saying that I have to kiss your ass now?" "As long as you shave." "Shave what?" "My ass!" "Hey, boss, I'm gonna call in sick tomorrow, OK?" "Hey, congratulations, boss!" "Thank you." "Watch your hands, mister." "I could sue you for sexual harassment now." "I'm gonna get me some." "Look, just because I'm your boss... doesn't mean things change between us, OK?" "Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" "She has a fiance, Rick." "I know." "Look, your personal life is none of my business... but I don't want to make a habit... out of being your little shoulder to cry on, OK?" "Look, I know." "I was just" "Yeah." "Go." "Get outta here." "Can I talk to you?" "What I have to say isn't really gonna take that much time." "I've been practicing." "Anna, I love you." "Rick, don't." "Look, I'm not gonna lose you again." "Not to Barry, not to anybody." "I want to fight for you." "And..." "I think that you should tell Barry... that things are over between you two." "You're really not making my life easy, you know that?" "I'm not an easy guy." "There you are!" "Come inside." "You look so beautiful tonight..." "I wanted to see if you wanted to dance." "Come on." "Not you." "Him in his white tuxedo." "No, you didn't." "Beautiful." "Why, those dirty little bastards." "I know it sucks... that they're ruining the town and everything... but this is the best vanilla latte..." "I have ever had in my entire life." "You can actually taste the vanilla beans that these" "I don't like the coffee." "Rick, check it, the doctor is in!" "It's show time, baby, come on!" "So, you girls like Porsches?" "Later." "Let's kick his ass!" "No, let's handle ourselves like adults." "Be mature about this." "Adults kick other adults' asses all the time." "Rick, this is Barry." "What's up, Rick?" "Hey, guys." "Just give me a second here." "I'm having second thoughts about kicking this guy's ass." "God." "First floor, Alaska." "What's up, guys?" "It's great to finally meet you." "Anna has told me a lot about you." "Who's the jacuzzi Casanova?" "That's him right there!" "They call him that... 'cause he had himself up in it, you know, lovin' it strong." "Thank you, Stumpy." "No problem!" "Take these twice a day... and you will be back at the plate in no time." "Will these make it bigger?" "That'd be nice." "So, are you, like, a crippled guy?" "No." "I'm just a really lazy guy." "It happened at the X Games a couple of years ago." "Piled into a fence." "Pretty messy." "They show the clip on ESPN all the time." "In the intro for "Sports Bloopers"?" "You're that dude?" "I'm that dude." "It's a pleasure to meet you." "I wipe out all the time." "Ever since I was a little kid..." "I wanted to be either a doctor or a blooper... so it's basically win-win for me except now I can't feel my legs." "Pig Pen, what are you doing?" "He doesn't feel that." "So, anyway, what the hell does a guy gotta do... to get a drink in this town?" "Actually, I'll catch up to you guys later." "I have to--nice to meet you." "Used to be my bar, but they kind of took it away." "They got wine, if you want wine." "What?" "Staff room, right now, or so help me, I will get my" "You don't even have to say it, Eric." "I know." "Come on." "Let's move." "Got a little surprise for you boys." "Anthony, Luke, Pierre..." "Pierre?" "Your name's Pierre?" "Majors is really pissed." "He thinks you're all totally incompetent." "He's given me no choice." "You're fired." "Effective immediately." "I'm sorry." "I really am." "I've nothing against you... but it's either this, or he won't buy the mountain." "Muntz!" "How can you do this?" "I mean, this is all that we have." "What's Pierre gonna do?" "He's very stupid." "And you're gonna side with Majors... who calls you a retard to your face?" "We say stuff like that, too, but not to your face." "And you know why?" "We're your friends." "You guys brought this on yourselves." "The hot tub, the drug test-- you're disrupting the whole town." "Now...you didn't help me out, and now I can't help you out." "I'm sorry." "Knock, knock." "Hey there, Rick." "Welcome to the winning team." "Got you a little gift." "I'll see you out there." "Hey, thanks a lot." ""Hey there, Rick." "Welcome to the winning team." ""Got you a little gift." "I'll see you out there."" "Those bastards." "We rule." "I'm sorry, guys." "My dad can be a jerk, I know... but it's not like you get to pick your parents." "Needed burnin'." "What are we gonna do now?" "I'm not good at anything else." "Not that I was good at this, whatever this whole thing was... but at least it was familiar to me." "I can fly you guys down to Anchorage if you want." "You guys can get rides from there to wherever." "Look, if worse comes to worse... we can always get jobs on an oil rig." "Our uncle works on one in Nome, and we'd be great at that." "Pig Pen, you're on fire." "Guys on oil rigs get laid a lot, right?" "On their occasional break... from their 1 9-hour work day in the freezing sleet... yeah, they get laid all the time, Pig Pen." "All right, I'm down." "I'm in." "We should go and say good-bye to Rick." "He knows that we're leaving... then he's gonna throw it all away." "So...we have to do the honorable thing... and steal a few street signs... and leave town with our tail between our legs." "Oh, my God, guys." "What's wrong with you?" "I don't know where to start." "Ever since they took my bar away from me..." "I've been doing a lot of thinking." "A lot of drinking and a lot of thinking." "A lot of thinking about why I act the way I do." "Why I feel the need to have countless sexual conquests... one after the other... and I think it's due to the fact that I'm..." "I don't know how to say this." "I'm..." "Gay?" "What?" "Gay?" "Come on, guys!" "Mr. October batting for the other team?" "Lance, everybody knows." "Nobody cares." "It's OK." "You know?" "I mean... if you weren't gay, you'd be a pretty weird guy." "Really." "Come on." "I was just gonna say that I was adopted, but... since we're having this conversation..." "Hey, Rick, lookin' good." "Money suits you." "Thanks, Mr. Majors." "Mr. Majors?" "What happened to John?" "After all, you're practically family now." "And not that bogus Majors Resort "family"... that I tell the minimum wagers they're in, either." "Where are all my friends?" "They're gone, Rick." "Business 1 01." "Listen, I was doing you a favor." "See, those guys are just dead weight." "Now you can run this place to your full potential." "You'll make a boatload." "Maybe you'll marry my daughter." "I got work to do." "Get that statue out of here!" "This thing weighs a ton!" "Who is this guy?" "What the..." "Bull Mountain!" "Don't go changin'!" "Get that sign straight, guys!" "I quit!" "That's a $300 hat, bitch!" "I can't believe I was so stupid!" "Rick!" "Jeez, I've been looking everywhere for you." "Barry is flying the guys to Anchorage." "What do you mean?" "They're leaving, Rick." "Come on." "I've always wanted to be a flight attendant." "You showing a movie today?" "It's not "Alive," is it?" "You guys are just gonna leave?" "You can come with us if you want to." "You're not gonna throw your life down the tubes... just 'cause we're incompetent." "You were born to run this mountain." "This is what you want to do." "You're staying, period." "I appreciate that, I really do, but I just quit." "In that case, hop on." "We got plenty of room for you if we throw out one of the kegs." "You can't leave." "Bull Mountain is not just our job, it's our home." "Not really." "You've seen what they've done to the place." "We're not the locals anymore-- they are." "Snownook's not our town, Rick." "Bull Mountain, that was our town." "Technically, it belonged to the Eskimos... but we stole it fair and square." "They're right, Rick." "Bull Mountain's gone." "They even tore down the statue of Papa Muntz." "What?" "You guys remember Papa Muntz's last toast... right before he died?" "No." "Remind me." "He held up his beer, he looked at the mountain that he loves... and he said, "Don't go changin'."" "His last words were from a Billy Joel song?" ""Don't go changin'."" "Bull Mountain is our home... and I say, let's do somethin' about it." "It's our home!" "Let's do somethin'!" "It is our town!" "You got a plan?" "I'm in." "Me, too." "Same here." "Let's do it." "Let's do it." "Come on." "Unpack your bags." "I'm down, but if we're stayin'..." "I've got some unfinished business to take care of!" "I've never been a man of words... but there's something that I have to say to you." "Inga, I've loved you from the first time that I saw you... and I love you more than any man's ever loved a woman... that he's never actually spoken to." "I'm only gonna offer this once." "Inga, will you... have sex with me?" "Nothing would piss off my schtepfather more." "Let's do this." "All right, guys, you know what to do." "It's time to destroy this little celebration!" "Let's go." "Come on, guys." "All right." "Anthony, come on." "What are you doing?" "What?" "It's time to get back on that board, man." "Welcome, friends and investors." "We may be 1 0,000 feet above sea level... but this is the ground floor you're gettin' in on today." "The ground floor of a dream." "Now, with my signature and your money... we can make this dream come true." "Yes, sir." "The future is ours." "Just one beautiful... state-of-the-art gondola ride away." "Hit it!" "I thought I fired your ass!" "Inga, get your clothes on!" "You're just like your mother." "Guys, if this is gonna be it, let's make it count." "Stay low, don't hit any kids, and most of all..." "don't sit down." "Why not?" "'Cause we're doin' this Papa Muntz style, baby." "Get' em off!" "Come on, get 'em off!" "Luke, if you would do the honors, please." "Everybody, pants at half-mast." "Let's put Papa Muntz back where he belongs." "All right, then." "One...two...three!" "Four... five..." "Sorry about that, folks." "I assure you everything's completely under control." "Everything's just fine!" "Duck!" "What the hell is Captain Cripple doing here?" "What?" "Honey" "Lock her in the Humvee till he's gone." "Nineteen." "Twenty." "Come on, baby." "Twenty-one." "Don't touch me!" "You better learn some manners, little lady." "Get in!" "So, what's up?" "Guard duty." "Nice!" "Everything is fine!" "Hey, man, don't fret!" "Afternoon, everybody." "Rick, you ungrateful jerk!" "Get out of my way!" "Stop!" "Thief!" "Hey, stop those guys!" "Get those guys out of here!" "Bunch of losers!" "What the hell's he doin' up there?" "Wait!" "Shit!" "How's that for irony?" "Come on!" "I'm your father." "OK." "Whatever." "Go!" "Get out of here!" "All right." "At my signal... unleash hell." "Wait!" "Don't leave!" "So there's a few bad apples!" "So my daughter's a whore!" "This is a hell of a deal!" "Hey, come on, kids." "Let's--play safe, all right?" "Was that a bottle?" "Want to go for a ride?" "Where are we going?" "We're getting out of here." "Hang on." "You want me?" "Here I come!" "Papa... you will be restored to your rightful place." "Why did you take me around this way?" "Because you're getting on that plane." "I don't understand." "Come on." "I'm gonna stay here, so your dad doesn't know where you went." "Wait!" "Last night you said" "Look, last night we both said a lot of things." "Some of 'em were true, most of them weren't... but I thought about it, and it all adds up to one thing-- you're gettin' on that plane where you belong--with Barry." "Look, we'll always have Pedro O'Horny's, right?" "We'd lost that until you came here." "Go." "Thank you, Rick." "Think this is funny, retard?" "Damn, what was that?" "Is it me, or do you even fight like a retard?" "Do it!" "Call me retard one more time!" "Retard!" "I hate you!" "Oh, you can't get to heaven on rollerskates" "'Cause you'll roll right past..." "Ride, Papa!" "You big lug!" "This is how you repay me?" "What the hell you got to say for yourself?" "I've got one thing to say to you." "Get off our mountain, asshole!" "All right, fine." "You win." "I'll go." "But first, I'm gonna whomp your ass!" "Bring it on, big man!" "Papa Muntz!" "Damn!" "What the hell was that?" "That was my dad!" "Look out!" "Watch out!" "Stop!" "Help!" "Let me go!" "Help me!" "Stop!" "Where's Anna?" "Where's your boot?" "Let's get a drink." "Come on." "Nice work, Lance." "Hey, fellas!" "Check it out!" "Isn't that Anthony?" "Speech!" "Hot sluts with tits." "Lance, you don't have to do that anymore, buddy." "Oh, sorry." "Old habits die hard." "I love men!" "Lance, you don't have to do that, either." "Who wants me?" "Help!" "Retard?" "Short Stack?" "Anybody?" "Man, you must be proud, huh?" "So, do you ever miss her?" "Who?" "That is the right answer." "So... you want to get a drink with me later?" "You're gonna have to try a lot harder than that, Ricky." "You know, things worked out... pretty well for our friends up here on Bull Mountain." "Rick and Jenny?" "Yeah, they got together, and then some!" "Two sweet kids like that... they could do mighty well by one another." "Anybody who ever tells you that money won't buy you love-- hell, they ain't ever been to Reno." "I was at the buffet table." "This gal comes up to me, and I flash them dimes... and we went right up to her hotel room-- well, it was a car." "This is the good one." "You're pretty good on that thing, son." "I'm a genius." "Actually, he was Mr. Mankowicz, but you can call me..." "Set!" "Who is under my table?" "Who put a farting machine under my table?" "This uniform makes my nuts rageous." "This uniform's really cramping my Hardy Boys." "It's no mystery." "This outfit is suffocating my..." "Lance, can I get a drink for..." "Cut!" "Are we still makin' this movie?" "Are we done with this crap?" "When this country went off the gold standard" "Your paper is paper, nothin' more than paper... and if you don't believe me, by God... you go talk to Alan Greenspan!" "I swear to God, he's runnin' this country!"

"Previously on E.R." " Paul Sobriki?" " Yeah." " Hold him!" " ¡What are you doing to me!" " ¡Carter!" " No now, Lucy." "Paul Sobriki?" "He doesn't have a CNS infection." "I think he might be schizophrenic." "Somebody!" "Lucy!" "E.R. 6x14 "ALL IN THE FAMILY"" "Dr Weaver you better hurry up!" "You're gonna miss the party!" "What?" " Dr. Weaver." " Cleo!" "You're off?" "Dr. Kovac gave me 15 to grab my dry-cleaning before closes." " We're slow, I take it?" " We are now." "What's that music?" " Looks like nail polish." " It's buffed!" "You got a manicure, Malik?" "The ladies check out your hands first." "I check out the butt, myself." " That's a myth." "I tested it." " Tested what?" "It's so not worth explaining." " Kerry, happy Valentine's Day." " It's a little loud!" "Sorry!" "What are you doing?" "Oh." "Hi, chief." "You on?" "Someone went overboard with the hearts." "What's wrong with them?" " Want some pizza?" " No." "Isn't Mark still on?" "He left at 8." "Double date." "I'm on till 9." "Mighty fine." "We slowed down." "No one's waiting to be seen." "I took over the board." "Okay." "Another five minutes and then back to work, all right?" "I'm sorry, Mrs. Minear, it was a mistake." "It won't" "I was expecting some money, and it" "I was expecting a check to clear, and it didn't." "I promise" "I promise I'll get it to you." "Thanks." "Teach me to check my messages." " Everything okay?" " No." " But it'll work out." " I'm beat." "You're leaving?" "I've been here since 7." "I just want to go home and hug my girls." " Lose a patient today?" " Yeah." "Nice to have someone at home." " Alex and I broke up." " I thought he was The Man." " Yeah, so did my neighbor." " Ouch." " Luka, do have anyone to hand off?" " If you want." "Ankle films are back on Cupid." "A Singing Telegram slipped." "I need a doc in Radiology for a patient named Rodriguez." " That's Carter's." " Find Carter." " Can I have a bath?" " Let me look at your foot." " Pablo, you're alive?" " Yeah, I'm alive." " We haven't seen you." " They put me on a bus." " What kind of a bus?" " A green one." " Where did it take you?" " I need a bath." "I think Pablo got deported." " How'd he get back?" " That part's fuzzy." " It took a long time." " Welcome back." "Yeah, welcome back." "Kerry, happy Valentine's Day- Or night, I guess." "Yeah, you too." " You know where Sobriki is?" " Who?" " I got called down for a consult." " I just got on." "Check the board." " You must be Mr. Morris." " How'd you guess?" "Is that my x-ray?" "Yep." "Let's take a look." " Is the bone broken?" " Hold on." "Gotta find another board." "I'll be right back." "Could you talk to Toxicology?" "What's the problem?" ""Bare Butt Booty Oil"?" "Kid drank it, isn't symptomatic so they won't test it." " No ingredient list." " "Bare Butt Booty Oil."" " Okay, I'll talk to them." " Thanks." " Is it just me, or are they dreadful?" " No, it's not just you." "Surgery's on its way!" " Spin a crit right away!" " Watch it on the right!" "No, I can't stay on the line!" "This guy could still be here!" "Get them here!" "John, can you hear me?" " Airway looks clear." " John, open your eyes." "No response to command." "Glasgow coma-scale 7." " How long were they there?" " Long enough." " I can't believe no one noticed." " Later." "One, two, three." "Push Etomidate and sux now." "Stab wounds to neck and chest." "Two more to the belly." "Number 8 ET tube." "What's her BP?" " Pulse ox is low. 82." " Get me a blood pressure!" " Chest tube tray." " No, start a central line." "BP is 90/50." "Four units of O-neg, hang two on the rapid infuser." "You okay?" " I got it." "Start the central line now." " Betadine and a sterile drape." "People are having parties while they're bleeding to death." "Two stab wounds to left flank." "First one is at L-2, 4 centimeters off the midline." "Second one is in the mid-scapular line." " He hit the spinal cord?" " Depends on the angle." " BP's 70/50." "Pulse, 120." " Set me up for a subclavian." "Good breath sounds bilaterally." "Pulse ox, 93." " Should we intubate?" " No." "Ten liters by mask." "Send a trauma panel, type and cross for 4." "Get X-ray for a chest." "And one shot IVP." "I was just talking to him." "Right here." "The patient's gone." "What's his name?" " Paul Sobriki." " Who are you?" "Carl DeRaad, chief of psychiatry." " What's he look like?" " I hadn't seen him." " I'll get his chart." " I will." "This is a crime scene." "It's okay." "He's a doctor." " First crit is 31." " Is he conscious?" " Is he conscious?" "!" " No, but he is responding." "It was a psych patient." "Got Lucy too." "Roll him, let me see." "Oh, man!" "Pressure's up to 90." "Why wasn't he in restraints?" " Where's the Foley?" " That's next." " Pulse ox is 83." " Give it a minute." "The police are sealing off Curtain 3." "They need someone who took care of the patient." "Look at this!" "Look at this!" " Tracheal laceration." " She needs a crike." "No, a trach." "Get Benton in here." "Prep the neck, open a Melker kit." " Dr. Benton!" " Hold on." "No spinal injury." "Hang the next two units on the infuser." " It's not set up." " Get it set up!" "Probably got the descending colon." "Peter, Dr. Weaver needs you now." "She has to trach Lucy." " Book an O.R. Where's the Foley?" " I'm working on it." "Clear the field of blood." "Hemostat!" " Where's the infuser kit?" " It should be there." " They're not here!" " Well, try the top shelf." " What is it?" " A knife." "Don't touch it." "We got a weapon." " Any blood?" " Some." "We were gonna use it to cut the cake." "I have to go find some tubing." " Are you working on a victim?" " Yeah." " Will he make it?" " I don't know." " Is he awake?" " Got it!" "Second unit's in." " Pressure's up to 100." " Give a gram of cefotetan." "Right pupil is 5 mm and reactive." "Left is" "John?" "John!" " Deb?" " Do you know where you are?" "My back." "You were stabbed." "Your pressure's up." "Lucy?" "Did you see the man who-?" " Not now!" " It's better if I" "You'll have to wait!" " What?" " Nothing." "He missed your spinal cord." "BP's 80 palp." " Is that Lucy?" " Yes." "She's alive." " Dr. Kovac." " What?" "What?" "What is it?" "Get Benton." "He needs to go up!" "Dr. Benton, we need you!" "Hook up the Thora-Seal!" "Dr. Benton, Carter's got a bad renal lac." "Foley output is bright red." "Got another surgeon coming?" "We're outside!" "I'll be right there!" "Dad, wait for us inside." " Register in front." " I'm a surgeon!" " We don't have time for this!" " You must move your vehicle." " There!" " Okay, go ahead." "Dad, I need you to move the van." " Where do I park it?" " You're asking me?" "You stay awake until you get up there." " FFP?" " Two units." "Carter, stay with me!" " How is he?" " We're red-lining him to the O.R." " A patient did this?" " Yeah." " What's his pressure?" " Kerry needs you." "Carter!" "Look at me, right in the eye." "Stay with me, man." " Xeroform and Elastoplast." " Probably intra-abdominal bleed." " Why wasn't this guy sedated?" " I don't know." " Was there a sitter with him?" " I never saw him!" " Where are we?" " Stab wounds to neck, chest, abdomen." " We had to trach her." " And blood loss?" "400 here." "Maybe another 2000 before we found her." "Looks deep." "How long was the blade?" " Pressure's 60." " She needs volume now." " It could be tamponade." " No, wait!" "Check the CVP." " Lost her pulse!" " We're in P.E.A." "Starting compressions." " We need to crack her." "Prep her chest." " Amp of epi." "Sterile gloves." "Stab wound is near the midline." " Sternal saw." "Now, Lily." " Go!" "Go!" "Go!" " Ultrasound is ready." " In a minute." "Ten blade." "Stand back." "Sats are down to 85." " Almost got it." "Okay." " Rib spreader." "Suction." " V-fib!" " Start internal compressions." "There's an effusion." "Metz." "Prep the internal paddles." " We've got a major hemorrhage." " Looks like the proximal aorta." "I need a 4.0 prolene on a n RB-1 needle now." "Belly's full of blood." " Clamp the aorta." " First things first." "Autotransfuse from the cell saver." " Charge the paddles to 15." " Cut!" "Cut!" "Clear!" "We're still in V-Fib." "Another amp of EPI." "Clear." " Sinus tach." " Check pressure!" "We're moving her to the O.R. now." "Pulse ox is up to 92." " Pressure's 90." " Let's go!" " Pulse ox cable!" " Is she making urine?" " Only 50 cc's." " That's better than nothing." "Tell O.R. we have an open chest wound." " We're waiting on the type-specific." " Have it sent up." " Are you putting her on bypass?" " Have a perfusionist." "Don't bag so fast." "We don't want her alkalotic." " Need anyone else?" " I hope not." "Don't forget the drug box." "Go!" "I can't believe this." "You think we got it in time?" " She has a good chance." " Kerry?" "You're the one who found them?" "We got a problem with the Medevac chopper." " Try to divert." " I did but" "Whatever." "Peter!" "I just heard." "What happened?" "This is O-neg." "I asked for type-specific." "He is O-negative." "I'll scrub in." "Hang in there, Dr. Carter!" " How many units is that?" " Five, but you shouldn't be counting." "It's bad, isn't it?" "Well, we're having problems keeping your crit up." "That's from the renal lac." "I'm giving you Versed to relax you before I intubate." " It could be the aorta." " Or mesenteric vessels." "Oh, God." "Don't worry." "I'll explore the abdomen and check out everything, okay?" "I'm glad it's you." "I'm getting you through this, man." "You hear me?" "Okay, ready to intubate." " I want to cut in 2 minutes." "I mean it." " You got it." " Lac to the proximal aorta." " What happened?" " We had to crack her." " I got this." " Who's on anesthesia?" " I got her." "Put her on the table supine." "Keep her chest covered." "You need a six-inch butcher knife to cut a cake?" "They just told me that's what we use." " We just leave it out?" " I didn't." " Was it in the lounge?" " I don't know." "I couldn't find it." "Go get Security to open up the personnel office." "I need contact numbers for Carter and Lucy." "I want you to bring the files down." " He presented with a headache." " Who?" "Paul Sobriki." "Please tell me that you saw him." "Yeah." "Lucy worked him up, Carter supervised." " Who supervised him?" " The LP came back negative." "You could have rounded before leaving." " I ran the board with Dr. Kovac." " For 30 seconds?" " He was up to speed." " You didn't say he was psychotic." "I didn't know." "Did he present to you?" " We wait on psych consults." " Unless his status changes!" " I was managing the whole board." " You were having a party!" "We thought that Lucy and Carter had it covered." " Well, they didn't." " Excuse me." "We use the Residents to keep us informed." " You're blaming Carter?" " I'm not blaming anyone." "I have Samantha Sobriki here." "She's looking for her husband." "I got a message from Lucy Knight." "She said to come down." "She didn't say what was wrong." "You'd better come with me." "That chopper's landing right now." "The Medevac from Whiting." "Kerry, go and change." "I'll take it." "What happened?" "The air squad's here." " Was there a bomb scare?" " I wish." " It's not true." "I want to see him." " He's not here." "Paul couldn't hurt anyone." " He needs help." " There's been a mistake." "We believe he may have schizophrenia." "What?" "The first psychotic break can happen in your 20s." "You're wrong, okay?" "You're wrong." " The kidney won't tamponade." " You couldn't get an IVP?" "I didn't want to chance it." "The colon's lacerated, all right." "3.0 silk on a GI needle." "There's blood welling in the hilum." "Isolate the renal artery." "Get a clamp on it." " He's hypotensive." " We gotta get this kidney out!" "Let me finish suturing before we do something drastic." " I'll dissect out the arteries." "Move!" " I said wait!" "He's lost too much blood." "His hilum's trashed." "He's getting shocky." "Pressure's 78 palp." " We have time." " We don't!" "Peter, calm down and listen to me!" "Let's check the source of the bleeding once more." " Too many vessels are injured." " Let's be sure." "I can't identify the source of the bleeding." " I'll pack off the liver." " BP's 105/70." " Angled Potts now." " What're you doing?" "Pringle maneuver." "Have to cut this blood loss." " The spleen's still bleeding." " Okay." " BP's falling, 80/60." " Run another unit." " She loses it as fast as we give it." " Then quickly!" "A and O times 4." "BP, 132/82." "Pulse 110." "You sure there wasn't a projectile?" "Just oil." "Must've been a loose fitting." "A small stream at that pressure will cut through you like a. 22." " Hey, Dad." " What's going on?" "Get a trauma panel." "Type and cross for 4, I'll be there in a minute." " A couple of our staff were hurt." " I heard." "Who's that?" "I'm covering." "Things are off-balance." " Where's Elizabeth?" " She's up in Surgery." "An MVA's coming, auto vs. pedestrian, in five minutes." "Grab Chen and Malucci." "Weaver should be around." " What do I do with her mother?" " I'll drive you home in a half-hour." " Will they be okay?" " Who?" " Your friends." " I don't know, Dad." "You're acting like you know he did it." "You don't." "You're right." "But we still need to find him." "He's not at home." "Nobody's seen him at the diner." "Is there any other place he would feel safe?" "He was depressed." "It doesn't make him crazy." "Maybe." "But we have to assume he could be a danger to himself or others." "If he was dangerous, why did they leave him alone?" "I understand." "This doesn't make sense to any of us." "But if Paul is in trouble, he needs help." "And it's better if we can find him now." "Sometimes he goes to the roof to be alone." " The roof?" " Of our apartment building." "He didn't do this." "Bleeding's under control." "Pean clamp." " Watch the pancreas." " Hold on." "I'll enlarge the incision in the peritoneum." "Watch for splenic flexure." " Got it." "I'll clamp, you cut." " Metz." "Bastard sliced the hell out of it." "It's senseless to cut up this poor girl." "It's better than the alternative." "Let the renal artery flush retrograde before closing the defect." "There." "Think we got it?" "There's one way to know." "Release the clamp, let the kidney perfuse." "Okay." "Go ahead." "No bleeding." "Hilum's intact." "And the kidney is pinking up." "All right, we did it." "You were right." "Thanks." "He could've lived without a kidney." "Pressure's still down, 80/62." " We caught up on volume?" " Almost." "Why is he still hypotensive?" "There's swelling in the periaortic area." "A hematoma's forming." " From the lumbar artery?" " I hope." " It could paralyze him!" " It's better than his aorta." "Dissect down to the artery." " Some kind of life." " I hope this isn't normal." "No, I don't think so." "You've got quite a girl there in Elizabeth." "I can't take the credit." "The boarding school raised her." "I was teasing." " Her father passed on?" " He was alive, the last I heard." " I'm sorry." " Don't be." "It wasn't your fault." " Have you heard anything?" " They're in the O.R." " Think we should go up?" " They'll call when everything's okay." " What have you got?" " John Doe hit by a van." " No head trauma, repeated questions." " I called a cab!" " I think we got a looney-toon." " Why?" "He was running around naked in the freezing cold." "You can't do this!" " Are you sure?" " Yeah, it's him!" "Trauma panel, C-spine, chest and pelvis." " Is he combative?" " I'm not taking any chances." " Get the police detective in here!" " Get X-ray." " Abdomen is soft, non-tender." " I won't talk!" "I made promises!" "Pupils equal and reactive." " Paul, do you know where you are?" " Who told you my name?" "!" " Paul, do you remember what happened?" " You can't trick me!" " No deformity." " I'm not deformed!" "Temperature's 95" "Get off of me!" "Leave me alone." "Don't stick me." "You want some Haldol?" "Dr. Weaver, do you want some Haldol?" "Two liters of saline and five of Haldol." "Where are you going?" " Can you take this patient?" " You okay?" "He's the guy." "He's the psych patient." "He got hit by a car." "Can you just take him?" " Okay." " Thank you." "BP 120/82 after a liter." "Probably venous oozing." "Can you take him?" " Who's our surgeon?" " Whoever's free." "He has a chest tube and head CT." "I don't want you to touch me!" "Stop sticking me!" " Let me go!" " Keep that mask on him!" "Don't cut me!" "Don't cut me!" "No!" "Hell of a Valentine's Day." "She's satting at 98 on 30% oxygen." "Can't ask for better than that." "Good work." "How's Carter?" "Took a while to control the bleeding." "They saved his kidney and are doing a colostomy." "Unbelievable." "County supervisor's on the phone." "He heard what happened." " Tell him I'm in surgery." " I told him you got out." "Thank you." "Appreciate that." "I'll be right back." "Dr. Corday, she's waking up." "Lucy..." "Lucy, can you hear me?" "Do you know what happened?" "There's several stab wounds." "One lacerated your proximal aorta." "We performed a thoracotomy after you arrested." "They gave you a trach to maintain your airway." "Your liver was damaged, but we were able to repair it." "However, we removed your spleen." "I'm sorry." "You can't speak." "You can whisper if I plug the trach." "Want to try?" "Remember, only whisper." "Thank you." "Bring the proximal colon to skin surface." " Hanging in there?" "You look ragged." " I'm fine." "Metz." "I think young Dr. Carter is very fortunate." "Depends on how you see it." " We need a surgeon in O.R. 3." " What is it?" "Penetrating trauma." "Something about oil." " Where's Corday?" " Should I page her?" " We're busy." " Take a look." "I can finish." "I've come this far." "Is the patient stable?" " Who's with the patient?" " Dr. Finch." "Have her stay until Corday shows." "They need me in the O.R. I'll be back." "Hold on." "Her sat's down to 82." "What is it?" "Chest pain?" "Sudden onset." "Put her at 100%." "We must do a spiral CT now." "PE is a possibility." " What is it?" " Sudden chest pain." "Dropped her sats." "We'll scan for a PE." "Bolus 5000 heparin." "Start a drip, 1000 an hour." "Hold on." "Keep going." "Come here." "Don't thin her blood if we don't have to." "I think she threw a massive clot." "We don't want her to bleed out." "If it's PE and we don't thin her blood, she'll throw another clot." "We won't heparinize for more than two hours." " I won't need that long." " Let's go." "Were you working on my husband?" "He was hit by a car." "Collapsed lung, but we fixed it." "No head trauma." " He's with the psychiatrist now." " Can I see him?" "You should wait a minute." "We gave him a drug to calm him down." "I really need to see him." "Right pulmonary artery." "Get her into angiography." "I'll meet you there." "Get the room ready." "Chest and abdominal dressings soaked through." "Watch her BP." "Send her for a hematocrit." "There's some oozing from the incision." "Happens with heparin." "Blood pressure's fine." "No major hemorrhage." "CT shows a pulmonary embolism." "We'll take you to Angiography and put in a filter." "We'll reverse the heparin." "You may need another transfusion." "Lucy, are you with me?" "I'll get you through this." "All right?" "All right." " Want anything?" " Coffee." "Two coffees, please." " You didn't want to go home either?" " Yeah." "Sit down." "We thought it was better than waiting upstairs." " Pretty scary, huh?" " Pretty scary." "I was complaining about my day." "BP's 112/78." "Pulse 102." "AC 14, tidal volume 600, 100% Fl-O2." "Another two of Versed." "To relax you a bit during procedure." "Want to stay awake?" "I'll numb the inguinal area and put a catheter in the femoral vein." " I'll prep." " Spun crit's 32." " Good." "Go." " I'll be right back, Lucy." "We put too much time and energy into your training to lose you." "Filters are a snap." "I've done 100 of them." "I'll talk you through it." "BP's down to 60." "Pulse ox 72." " No carotid pulse." " She threw a clot." "Start chest compressions." "Bag her!" "Lizzie, I need you!" "Get me a staple remover!" "Throw some betadine on the chest." " You're opening her?" " She won't make it to O.R." "We need two more nurses." " What happened?" " She's in PEA." "Get wire cutters." " Wire cutters?" " We wired the breastbone." " Corday's tied up." " Why?" " She's in CT." " Can you take it?" " I'm suturing." " I gotta run the bowel." "He needs an exp-lap." "Go." "I'll page you if anything changes." " Vitals?" " BP's 125/85." "Pulse 92." " Crit?" "42." "Prep for an exp-lap." "Stay here until the surgeon comes." " You can't stay?" " I'm operating on Carter." "Start internal compressions." " Right ventricle's dilated." " Side clamp." " Want a fogarty?" " No, just a yankauer." "Scalpel." " We'll suck out what we can." " Suction." " Right side." " We've got a few clots." "Maybe she'll get some oxygen." " Pressure's dropping." " He can't wait." "Where are they?" "Probably tore a mesenteric artery." "Lost the pulse." "Starting compressions." "Betadine!" " What are you doing?" " Thoracotomy tray." " He only needs a laparotomy." " I don't know how to do that." "You can't operate here." "Wait for the surgeon." "He can take over." "Get me a scalpel!" "Get Benton!" " Pulse ox?" "68 on 100%." " We're not oxygenating." " Removing side clamp." " V-fib!" "Resuming compressions." " Internal paddles." "Charge to 15." "Clear!" "Still in v-fib." " Charge to 30." " Push an amp of epi." "Clear." " Nothing." " Again." "Clear." " Sat down to 62." " Charge again. 100 of lidocaine." "Clear." "Again." "Clear." " What are you doing?" " Saving his life." " He needed a laparotomy." " You should've been here." " Should've called me." " Aorta's cross-clamped." "This was unnecessary." "What were you thinking?" " There was no pressure." "Now there is." " I've got it." " He was about to arrest." " Step the hell back now!" " Pulse is down to 90." " Move, people." " I'm sorry Carter's hurt" " Irrigate the chest with warm saline." "Clear!" " Asystole." " Amp of atropine." " When was the last epi?" " Four minutes ago." "Push another 7 mg now!" "Clear!" "We've done everything we can." "Holding compressions." "Damn it." "Son of a bitch!" "Give a minute for the last epi to circulate." "Charge." " Lizzie, let's go!" " Robert..." "Call it." "Time of death 2:56." "When can I go home?" "I don't know." "I want to go home." "I need to feed my dog." "Paul, we have someone here to see you." " Paul." " Sam." "I want to go home." " What happened?" " They took my clothes." "My shoes." " Who took your clothes?" " Them." "Who's them?" "They had a blue cake." " Is that where you got the knife?" " They were gonna open me." " The knife?" " They were gonna take my organs." " What organs?" " My internal organs!" "Don't you understand?" "I had to protect them!" "Don't try to tell me I don't know." "I know." "They tried to take them." "I had to stop them!" "Is he ready?" "Yeah." " Do you want to take him upstairs?" " Can I please go home now?" "I'll meet you in recovery." "Is Carter out of the O.R.?" "He's extubated in recovery." "Vitals are stable." " Peter" " You were right." "I put you in a tough position." "What's wrong?" "There was a complication with Lucy." " Not "Vanessa" Vanessa!" " The one and only." "You know her?" "I saw her in medical school." "She had abdominal pain." "Carter orders a pelvic." "Tells Lucy the patient's more comfortable with a woman." " Oh, man!" " Who's Vanessa?" "Lucy's official, polite." "She gets her tray puts on her gloves, pulls back the curtain" " Carter's outside waiting." " For what?" " The scream." " I don't get it." "Carter sent her in to do a pelvic on a drag queen." "He did not!" " Terrible." " She didn't know?" "Hand it to Vanessa, he's got a better figure than I do." "What is it?" "Lucy." "Tell me when the vibration stops." " What about the pancreas?" " Intact." "He got the colon." " How long will I have the colostomy?" " A month." "We'll do a take-down." "Now." "Good." "Sensation's intact." " You were lucky." " I know." "Thank you." "You're welcome." "I'll test your motor strength." "Lift your leg." " How's Lucy doing?" " Come on." "Lift." " That hurts." " I know." "Don't let me push it down." "Hold it." "Hold it." "Good, good." " My back is killing me." " I know." "Hematoma on lumbar plexus." "I'll give you morphine." "I want you walking in 12 hours." "Lucy's dead, isn't she?" "Oh, you're home." "Everything all right?" "No." " Do you want to tell me about it?" " Not particularly." "I'll make breakfast." "We need a pressure transducer for Trauma." "Get two units of O-neg." " We're out of Ancef." " Call the pharmacy." "I just heard." "How did this happen?" " Can we talk about it later?" " Sure." " Something coming in?" " Multi-victim trauma." "Assembly-line accident." "We'll take 2 major, 6 minors." " ETA?" " Now, but we're short a doc." " Abby, you on?" " No." " We're short." "Can you cover?" " Sure." "We need someone to cover triage." "42-year-old male." "Crush injury, right arm." "Gave him morphine and two liters." "Shocky, 90/60." "Neuro-circ intact?" "Couldn't get a pulse." "Multiple fractures." "Call Ortho and Vascular." "Type and cross for four." "Trauma 2." "I had to close her chest." "Thank you." " The nurses can do that." " I know." "Subtitles by SDI Media Group" "Ripped by blade2"

"Thank you for being a friend" "Traveled down the road and back again" "Your heart is true" "You're a pal and a confidante" "And if you threw a party" "Invited everyone you knew" "You would see the biggest gift would be from me" "And the card attached would say" ""Thank you for being a friend"" "Oh, it's a mess!" "This place is just a mess!" "Rose, what am I gonna do?" "She's gonna be here any minute." " This place is a pigsty!" " Oh, Blanche, it looks gorgeous." "Don't sit!" "I just fluffed!" " Honey, dust the table." " I just did." "Well, do it again." "God, I wish she wasn't coming." "I just hate her." "I can't believe you hate your sister." "I despise her." "Oh, I wish I'd gotten a decorator." "Nancy Reagan's decorator." "That'd kill my sister." "She's your sister." "How can you hate your sister?" "Because she made me and my big sister Charmaine miserable our entire lives." "I never heard of such a thing." "You never heard of anybody hating their sister?" "Never." "Maybe it's Southern." "Sleeping with your brothers is Southern." "Dust, Rose, dust!" "We're running out of time." "Sophia... if you hated your sister, would you clean the house?" "I'd put Vaseline on the tips of her walker." "Everybody, look what I have." " Where did you find?" " Oh!" "Don't sit!" "Don't sit!" " Oh, what is our name?" " This is Danny." " Dorothy, what in the world is that?" " It's a flounder, Blanche." " What do you think it is?" " What's that baby doing here?" "It's Lucy and Ted's baby." "Ted had a little accident waterskiing, and Lucy's taking him to the hospital." "Now, we cannot have a baby in this house." "My sister's coming." "Does she eat them?" "I have cleaned this house from top to bottom." "I have killed myself for two days." "Babies make a mess." "In diapers." "And unless we use them as placemats, your sister will never know." " Oh, Lord." " Boochie-boochie-boo." "Oochie-oochie-boo-boo." "Finally - someone she can talk to." "I just hope it doesn't make a fuss when my sister's here." " I thought you hate this sister." " I do." "I'm gonna put him to bed." "Ma, the ba-bas." "Why do you hate your sister?" "That's what I wanna know." "Because when she was born, I ceased to exist." "I never saw my mama and daddy again." "Where did they go?" "They never looked at me again, Rose." "She was the adorable one, the gorgeous one, the brilliant one." "She sat in my daddy's lap for 16 years." "Oh, and she was hateful." "You know what she used to do?" "She used to bite herself on the arm and then run crying to Daddy that I had done it and he'd punish me." "Oh, she got me in trouble all the time." "Daddy used to call me the bad seed." " Once, she even electrocuted me." " Oh, no!" "Oh, yes." "It was the day before Christmas and we were playing and she jiggled the tree and the star fell off and broke." "So she told me to pick it up and put it on my finger." "And I did." "Then she plugged it in." "And wham!" "My eyes bugged out, my hair shot straight up." "I did a crazy rubber dance all over the room." "I'm sure my heart stopped beating for a minute." "Then she ran to Daddy and told him I'd broken the star and almost electrocuted her." "And he sent me to my room for all of Christmas Eve... and told me that the baby Jesus was mad at me for ruining his birthday." " Blanche, that's horrible." " And that's not the worst part." "That darn electricity straightened my hair." "I used to have curly hair." "That was a lovely lunch, Blanche." "A lovely lunch in a lovely house with your lovely friends." "Stop making fun of me, Virginia." "Making fun of you?" "Honey, I was complimenting you." " I heard the way you said "lovely. "" " How did I say "lovely"?" "Oh, you know very well how you said "lovely. "" "You said "lovely" the same way you say "lovely" to a date who's just shown up in a light-blue tuxedo." "Well, I meant "lovely" no matter how it came out." "I guess maybe I just didn't think you'd recognize good taste." "You know, this house was done by Nancy Reagan's decorator." " Really?" " Yes." "But never mind about that." "Let's talk about you." " You look like you lost weight, sugar." " I have." "Hm." "You know, at your age, when you lose weight, your skin just hangs there." "Like leaves on a willow." "I haven't lost that much." "I don't think that's happened yet." "Well, I don't know." "But if I were you, I sure wouldn't wave goodbye." "And if I were you, I sure wouldn't jog without a muumuu." "Is that so?" "Well, just let me tell you something!" "Oh, Blanche, please." "Let's not do this." "Let's grow up." "For God's sake, we have done this our whole lives long!" "Let's call an end to it, OK?" "Sure, whatever." "So... you thinking about getting a face-lift?" "For your - how do I put this delicately?" " turkey wattle or what?" "There, there." "It's colic." "My children had it." " You give them brandy." " For colic?" "Yes." "After dinner with a cigar." "Rose, you give brandy for teething." "You rub it on their gums." "Oh." "I thought I gave it to them for colic." "In their bottles." "Well, my babies were very happy." "Put it in my bottle." "I'll be happy too." "Look at this - pop-ups." "Isn't that wonderful?" "Mm." "Remember when we had to use cotton and fish ointment?" "That's nothing." "In Sicily, we use a leaf and the river." "Ma, you never had a baby in Sicily." "I was a baby in Sicily." "Disposable bottles and formula." "We had to sterilize our bottles and make our formula." "I nursed." "Your brother was 12 when he stopped." "He wanted to come home from school at lunchtime." " I got nothing left up here." " Oh, Ma." "Well, she's gone." "That's it?" "That's why we couldn't sit on the couch for two days?" "No." "I have to have dinner with her tonight." "Why is that baby still here?" "They're still at the hospital." "It's taking a little longer than they thought." " Blanche, your sister seemed very nice." " She was nicer than she's ever been." "She was interested, charming, caring, loving." "Just couldn't have been more wonderful." "I just wonder what she wants, the conniving little witch." "You're welcome, Maurice." " Let's make a toast." " With water?" " Well, I can't drink." " You never could." "One Jack Daniel's and you'd disappear with half a fraternity house." " We said we weren't gonna do this." " Well, what else can we do?" "We never held a real conversation our entire lives." " Then it's time for us to start, OK?" " Fine with me." "To us." "To the beginning of a new and wonderful relationship." " To sisters." " That's very sweet, Virginia." "Now, what do you want?" "What is it with you?" "You just step on any kind of tender moment." "Oh, tender moment, my foot." "All my life you've taken everything that ever meant anything to me." "What did I take?" "A couple of cashmere sweaters and a poodle skirt?" "You took my poodle skirt?" "Was that you?" "Blanche, that was over 40 years ago." "Oh, shut up." "I can't believe that you are still crazy about that." "It's not over that." " It's over Tom." " Tom?" "Don't act so surprised, Virginia." "You knew I was dating him." "Then I had to go to the country to visit Aunt Augusta and when I got back, I had poison ivy and you had Tom." "I loved that boy." "I wanted to marry him." "We were serious." " You only had two dates with him." " I was fast." "I swear I didn't think that you liked him at all." "Then I had to be maid of honor at your wedding." "I had to stand there and watch you marry Tom." "And I had to wear that green dress, which you knew was my most awful color." "I looked just like a swamp frog." "Everyone I ever loved, you took." "Would it help you to know that Tom fooled around?" "No." "With who?" " Everyone." " Huh." "Serves you right." " Blanche!" " Well, it does." "What goes around, comes around." "Well, then, I must have been really bad." " What do you mean?" " Well, it's the reason I'm here." "I knew it." "I knew you had a reason." "Better be a good one." "I'm dying." "What?" "I'm dying." "Well... my God." "That explains it, then." "What?" "Why you're looking so much older than I am." "Ma, could you eat a little more quietly, please?" "These are Fritos." "You want me to swallow them whole?" " Hi, everybody." " Hi, Blanche." "Oh, the baby gone?" "No, Rose is driving him around to get him to sleep." " Why is he still here?" " Ted needs some minor surgery, so they're still at the hospital." " What about Virginia?" " Well..." " Shh-shh-shh-shh." " Is he asleep?" " You need any help?" " No." " We're gonna have that baby till college." " Shh." " So how was dinner?" " I'm still in shock." "What happened?" " I just can't believe it." " What?" " You never think you're gonna hear that." " Blanche, tell me." " She's dying." " What?" " My sister's dying." " What?" " Dying, she's dying." " Oh, my God, Blanche!" "Oh, honey, I didn't even know you were sick!" " Not Blanche." "Her sister!" " Oh, thank God!" "Oh!" "And she came here to tell you." "Is that it?" "No, please." "She could've done that over the phone." " It was like I said." "She wanted something." " Enough already!" "I mean, the woman is dying." "What could she possibly want from you?" "My kidney." "Your kidney?" "My kidney." " Why would she need a kidney?" " To feed the cat, Rose!" "She's going into renal failure, so a transplant is her best hope." "Oh, honey, I'm so sorry." "What happens if she doesn't get your kidney?" "She'll die." "You hold her life in your hands?" " What are you gonna do?" " I don't know." "I'm glad you're not my sister." " I need something to eat." " Didn't you just have dinner?" "Oh, I couldn't eat." "I was just too stunned." " What are you gonna do, Blanche?" " I don't know." "I mean, it's not as if she were my daughter." "She's my sister." "My sister that I hate." "I wish I could give her my kidneys, let her get up all night." "And what if I give her my kidney and then the one good kidney I have left stops working?" " What'll I do then, ask for my kidney back?" " You'd be an Indian giver." "I need both my kidneys." "You know what'll happen if I give her one?" "My ankles will swell, my eyes will puff up." "I'll look just like the Pillsbury Doughboy." "Blanche, that does not happen." "You can live just fine with one kidney." "I can't eat this food." "I'm going to bed." "I'll just think about it tomorrow." "All I know is, girls, I'm in a no-win situation here." "I lose a sister or a kidney." "Either way, no matter what I do, I'm gonna lose something." "What would you do?" "For my children, I wouldn't even have to think." "I mean, I'd give them both of my kidneys." "I'd cut 'em out myself." "Me too." "I'd give them my heart." "I'd give to all my children, except Phil." " Why not Phil?" " Because he never calls, he never writes." "I only hear from him at Christmas when he sends me a cheddar cheese nativity scene." "I'm Catholic." "I can't spread a wise man on a Ritz cracker." "If I still had my dog Fluffy, I'd give to him." " You'd give what to Fluffy?" " My kidney." "Oh, come on, Rose." "You'd give a kidney to a dog?" " Absolutely." " So he could whiz on your rug?" "I would give to him because of everything he gave to me." "He was loving, he was loyal, he was fun." "He never left my side." "I wish my ex had been like Fluffy." "Would've solved a lot of problems." "You could've had him fixed." "Oh, poor Blanche." "Blanche, I know you need some time to think it over." "You're damn right I do." "We're talking about a vital organ in my body here." "I know." " You gonna give it to her or not?" " Sophia." "What does it mean - a little less bourbon?" "It's a big decision, Sophia." "She's got to think about it." "She's family." "If you can't count on family, who the hell can you count on?" "She's Italian." "I'll understand, you know, if you decide not to." "How come you didn't ask Charmaine for her kidney?" "You were always closer to Charmaine." "Charmaine's kidneys are attached to each other." " What do you mean, attached?" " The two are joined." "It's like having one big kidney, and you can't separate 'em." "Leave it to Charmaine." "I know." "She never could help Mama because she had heart flutters, and she never could take gym class, no, because she had a tipped uterus, and she never did any housework because she had a spastic colon." "Now, she has attached kidneys." "That girl is some kind of mutant." "I'd give you one of my kidneys, but I'm sure you'd rather have one you can control." " Thank you, Sophia." " Welcome." "Look, if you decide not to, I'll understand." "I swear." "Sure, you'll be dead." "And everybody will say Blanche killed her." "What I'm trying to say is it's a terrible choice I've given you." "I don't even know what I would do under the same circumstances." "Are you saying you don't know if you'd give me a kidney?" "No, I don't." "Well, I'm not surprised." "You never even lent me a Kleenex." "Besides, I'm a size eight - your kidney wouldn't fit me." "There's not room in my body for your kidney." "Well, I guess I'd better be going, and if you decide to go ahead with it," "I'll see you in Atlanta in a few days." " Are you scared?" " Terrified." " I guess anybody would be." " I guess." "Blanche, whatever happens I love you." "Thank you." "Bye." "The doctor says it's the first time he'd ever been called because a baby was sleeping in the day." "And then I think he called me an idiot." "He sleeps in the day because he has four women who won't let him sleep at night." "Now, who went in there last night?" "Was it you?" " Well, I went in once." " Why?" " I was working." "I hadn't seen him all day." " And was he sleeping?" "At first." "This has got to stop." "No wonder that baby didn't sleep." "He wasn't the only one who was up all night." " You were too?" " Yes." " I had time to do a lot of thinking." " And?" " And of course I'm gonna do it." " Aw, Blanche, you're a brave lady." " Oh, you really are, honey." " No, I have to." "I don't want my sister to die." "I want her to live." "And not just for her, for me." "I wanna get to know her like a grownup." "Well, I want us to have a chance to be friends, sisters." "After all, she's the only family I have." "I thought you had a sister, Charmaine." "Oh, you can't count her!" "Why, she's an awful, selfish, neurotic woman who made me and Virginia miserable our entire lives." "I gotta go pack." " I hate to give him back." " Goodbye, Danny." "Goodbye, pussycat." "Goodbye, little fella." "What are you carrying on?" "It's like talking to a salami." "Well, he has to leave." "I'll be right back." " Say bye-zee-bye!" " Bye, darling." "You be good now." "I'm worried about Blanche." "I wish she'd let one of us go with her." "Not me." "I hate hospitals." "My friend Matty Fishbein went into the hospital a healthy guy." "Then boom, boom - dead, just like that, in his sleep." "98 years old." "No apparent cause." "I don't like hospitals either." "They're full of germs." "I always hold my breath in the elevators 'cause there are sick people in the elevators and it's such a small space." "Once, I had to go to the eighth floor in a hospital, and the elevator stopped on every floor, and I had to hold my breath all that time." "And I finally fainted and I hit my head and I had to stay there because I had a concussion, and I had to hold my breath all the way down in the elevator to the emergency room." "Then I had to hold my breath in the x-ray, where they ask you to hold your breath anyway." "And then after..." "I have great news." "Rose, excuse me." "We'll get back to your fascinating hospital story later." "Ted and Lucy said that we could have the baby again next month" " when they go away for a weekend." " Oh, that's wonderful." "Oh, I'm so excited." "Hello, everybody." "Blanche, what are you doing here?" "Is something wrong?" "I mean, we didn't expect you back so soon." "Oh, the best possible thing has happened." "I still have both my kidneys and my sister's fine." "Blanche, how is that possible?" "They couldn't use my kidney - my blood vessels were too small." "Of course they're too small." "I've always been very petite." "Blanche, Virginia." "Oh, the most wonderful thing happened." "They found a donor, an excellent match." "She was a retired Mormon schoolteacher." "Virginia's so lucky!" "Oh, I'll say." "That kidney was showroom-new." "Why, the wildest thing that ever passed through there was Ovaltine." "But the best part of it was that hunk of a doctor who examined me - he's gonna be in Florida in a few weeks." "Wherever she goes, she finds a man!" "So do hookers." "But the most wonderful thing about all this is Virginia and me." "All that time we wasted hating each other from when we were kids." "Now we're getting to know each other, and I just love her." "I finally have a sister to love." "Isn't it funny?" "Sometimes you have to almost lose somebody before you realize how much they really mean to you." "Let's go out and celebrate life." "Let's go out and do something crazy!" "Let's fly to Freeport and gamble all night." "Ma, we can't afford it." "Let's drive to Disney World and ride the Teacups!" "Oh, too wild, Rose." "Hey, I know a bar over in Coco Beach where you can pick up over-the-hill astronauts." "Ow!" "Or... there's some Rocky Road in the freezer." "Hey, great!"

"Now, where to begin?" "How 'bout, "Once upon a time"?" "How many times have you heard that to begin a story?" "Let's do somethin' else." "I got it, I got it, here we go." "Here's how to open a movie!" "No, I don't think so." "It sounds familiar." "Doesn't it, to you?" "Oh, no, no, not the book." "How many have seen "opening the book" before?" "Close the book." "We're not doing that." "Here's what we're gonna do." "Why don't I just go back to the day things took a turn for the worse?" "Run for your lives!" "Everyone run for cover!" "SOS!" "Mayday!" "Mayday!" "Code red!" "Duck and cover!" "You're all in danger!" "Run for cover!" "Run for your lives!" "Emergency!" "Emergency!" "Look out!" "Take cover!" "Run for cover!" "Chicken Little!" "What is it?" "What's going on?" "The sky is falling!" "The sky is falling!" " The sky is falling?" " Are you crazy?" "No, no, no!" "It's true!" "Come with me!" "No." "Son?" "What?" "It happened under the old oak tree!" "I'm not making this up." "I know it's here." "There's a piece of the sky somewhere somewhere on the ground here." "It was shaped like that!" " Like a stop sign?" " Yes!" "Only it doesn't say "stop" and it's blue and it has a cloud on it." "And it hit me on the head!" " It looked like a stop sign." " Wait!" "What's that?" " Son, is this what hit you?" " What?" "No, Dad." "It was definitely a piece of the sky!" "Piece of the sky." "It's OK, everyone!" " Dad, no." " There's been, like, a little mistake." "It was just an acorn that hit my son." "A little acorn." " No!" "Dad, no." " Quiet, son." "This is embarrassing enough already." "Chicken Little!" "What were you thinkin'?" "Why put your town's safety in jeopardy?" "How could you mistake a stop sign for an acorn?" " But it... a big acorn level fluh." " What did he say?" " A big acorn level fluh..." " It was a big acorn?" " It was an ape throwing coleslaw?" " A big acorn level fluh..." "Gesundheit!" "Ladies and gentlemen, it's just gibberish," " gibberish of an insane person." " Come on, Buck!" "Your kid went and scared us all half to death!" "Well, what can I tell you, folks, my son, you know..." "Kids do crazy stuff." "You have kids." "It's..." "No, Dad." "It wasn't an acorn." "It was... it was a piece of the sky." "Really, it was." "You gotta believe me." "A movie." "A movie." "They're makin' a movie." "When?" "When will everybody forget your big mistake?" "First it was all over the papers, then they wrote a book about it, then the book on tape, then the board game, the spoons with your face on it the Web site, the commemorative plates." " You saw them, right?" " I saw them." "Can't eat off 'em." " They're not microwave-safe." " You saw the billboards?" "I saw them." "There's a bumper sticker." "I knew it was only a matter of time." "Billboards I could live with." "Posters I could even live with." "But a bumper sticker." "It's... it's like glued on forever." "It doesn't matter." "You know why?" "Because I've got a plan." "Yeah, about that." "Well, remember how I told you it would be better for you to lay low, don't call attention to yourself?" " Yes, but I..." " See, it's like a game." "Yeah, a game of hide-and-seek, except the goal is never to be found, ever!" "Great!" "Now, we've got a plan, right?" "I'll see ya later!" "Remember, lay low." "Yeah." "OK." "Bye." "Look, Mama!" "There's the crazy chicken!" "Yes, it is!" "Crazy chicken." "You're so smart." "We don't make eye contact." "Bye!" "That's it." "Today is a new day." "It was a recipe for disaster" "A four- course meal of "No sirree"" "It seemed that happily ever after" "Was happy everyone was after me" "It was a cup of good intentions" "A tablespoon of one big mess" "A dash of overreaction" "And I assume you know the rest" "One little slip" "One little slip" "It was a fusion of confusion" "With a few confounding things" "I guess I probably took the wrong direction" "Well I admit I might've missed a sign or two" "I took a right turn at confusion" "A left when I should've gone straight on through" "I ran ahead with my assumptions" "And we all know what that can do" "One little slip" "One little slip" "It was a fusion of confusion" "And a few confounding things" "I get the feeling in this town I'll never live 'til I live down" "The one mistake that seems to follow me around" "But they'll forget about the sky When they all realize" "This guy's about to try to learn to fly" "Or hit the ground" "How's it going?" "It was a cup of good intentions" "A tablespoon of one big mess" "A dash of overreaction" "And I assume you know the rest" "One little slip" "One little slip" "It was a humble little stumble" "With a big ungraceful" "One little slip" "One little slip" "It was a fusion of confusion with a few confounding things" "Very well." "Foxy Loxy." " Present, pretty and punctual." " Goosey Loosey." "Master Runt of the Litter." "Present and accounted for, Mr. Woolensworth." "Dropped my pencil!" " Loser!" " Henny Penny." " Here." " Ducky Lucky." " Here." " Fuzzy Wuzzy." " Here." " Morkubine Porcupine." " Yo." " Fish Out of Water." "Quite." "Abby Mallard." "Ugly duckling." "Class!" "I will not tolerate rude behavior" " at the expense of a fellow..." " Hey, no worries, Mr. Woolensworth." "You mustn't sneak up on me, Ugly..." "Abby." " Where was I?" " Ugly duckling." "Oh, yes." "Chicken Little." " Tardy again." " Tardy again." "Class, turn to page 62 and translate each word in Mutton." "He." "She." "They." "We." "OK, everyone." "Listen up!" "OK, everyone." "Listen up!" "I don't wanna hear any quacks, tweets, oinks, whinnies or cocklee-doodle-doos when I say... dodgeball." "Oh, man." "Pump it up!" "Pump it, pump it, pump it!" "Split into two teams." "Popular versus unpopular." " Coach?" " Yeah, unpopular?" "Shouldn't we review safety guidelines?" "Sure!" "Hit the pig, kids!" "Look out!" "Calm down, Runt." "Just..." "Just do what Fish is doing." "Everybody dance now" " Tough morning?" " A run-in with my old nemesis." " Gum in the crosswalk?" " He won." "Your old foe!" " Incoming on your right." " Thank you." "Yeah, I heard about the movie." "Tough break." " Yeah." " Maybe it'll just go straight to video." "That's the least of my problems." "This morning... this morning my dad told me I should basically disappear." "But that's not gonna get me down." "I've got a plan." "You want to hear about it?" "No, no, no!" "This one's good." "Look, one moment destroyed my life, right?" "One moment." " Warthog at 3:00!" " I see him!" " Yes!" " So I figure all I need is a chance..." "All I need is a chance to do something great to make everyone forget the "sky falling" thing once and for all." "Then my dad'll finally have a reason to be proud of me." "Time out!" "Nurse!" " Hi, Tiffany!" " Hey, man, what's goin' on?" "So, what do you think?" "OK, listen." "You said the sky was falling." " Your dad didn't support you." " I..." "And you have been hurting inside ever since, right?" " It's hurt." "It stung." "OK?" " It's hurt, but..." "Yes." " That's the nutshell." " Yes, but..." " No..." " But, it's..." "What's got to happen now is the nut needs to be cracked open." "And not one little chip at a time, but... bam!" "Smash!" "Bits of emotion flying everywhere!" "Anger!" "Frustration!" "Denial!" "Fear!" "Deep depression, in fact!" "You see what I'm saying?" "All right, forget the nut part." "Here's the main thing." "You have got to stop messing around, and deal with the problem." " But..." " Here's the real solution." "You and your dad talk-talk-talking... closure!" " Closure?" " Closure, talking about something until it's resolved." "Wait!" "Hold on!" "See?" "Look." "There's a whole section about it in this month's Modern Mallard." " Incredibly appropriate!" " I told you, I have a plan." "Yeah, but according to Cosmo Duck, you should "stop the squawk and try the talk."" "Beautiful Duckling says," ""Avoiding closure with your parents can cause early molting."" "See?" "Closure." "Come on, repeat after me." "You, your dad, talk-talk..." "Abby, Abby, Abby, listen!" "Talking's a waste of time." "I got to do something great so my dad doesn't think I'm a loser." "Come on." "You are not a loser." "You're inventive and resourceful and funny and cute and..." "What?" "Yeah..." "Runt!" "Should Chicken Little have a good talk with his dad and clear the air or keep searching for Band-Aid solutions and never deal with the problem?" "Band-Aid solutions!" " Runt!" " Well, I'm sorry!" "I'm very bad at reading facial cues." "Fish, help me out here." "Men." "'Twas beauty that killed the beast." "I guess only girls are good at honest communication and sensitivity." "That does it!" "We were in a time-out, Foxy!" "Prepare to hurt." "And I don't mean emotionally, like I do." "We will save you!" "Fall back!" "Mad goose!" "Chicken Little!" "Not showing up for class, inappropriate school attire," "Not showing up for class, inappropriate school attire, picking fights in gym class and the fire alarm?" "Ever since that "sky falling" incident, he's been nothing but trouble!" "Now look, Buck." "You know I have the utmost respect for you." "I mean, you were Buck "Ace" Cluck, our school baseball star." "But let's face the facts." "Your kid, he's nothing like you at all." "OK." "Thank you for talking to me." "I'll take care of my son." "I..." "Dad, it wasn't my fault." " It was Foxy." "She's always..." " All right." "It's fine." "You don't have to explain anything." "Hey, Dad?" "I was thinkin'." "Yeah, what if I...?" "What if...?" "What if I joined the baseball team?" "Hey, why don't you watch where you're going?" "!" "Sorry, there, buddy!" "Sorry, sorry." "Baseball?" "Son, we talked about this." "Yeah, right." "But, you know, that was when I was small." "I put on five ounces this year." "I've really bulked up." "Really, son?" "Baseball." "Are you sure?" "Oh, yeah, yeah." "I mean, you know, hey, why not, right?" " Yeah, why not, but why?" " Well, Dad, you were such a big baseball star in high school." "You could give me some pointers." "But son, I'm just wondering..." "Maybe baseball isn't exactly your thing, you know?" "Have you considered the chess team or the glee club?" "And some teenagers, you know, they get quite a rush from stamp collecting." " No." " Wanna stop?" "We'll get stamps." " I don't like stamps." " Colors, colorful things..." "No, I was thinkin' baseball!" "I can't wait to see the look on your face when I smack that ball in for a touchdown!" "Dad..." "I'm kidding." "That was a... that was a joke." "Just do me one favor, son." "Why, sure, Dad." "Anything." "Just please try not to get your hopes too high." "Yeah, but Dad, I mean, I..." "I mean, I think I can..." "OK, Dad." "I bruise you" "Y ou bruise me" "We both bruise so" "Easily" "Too easily" "To let it show" "I love you" "And that's all I know" "Oh, Chloe." "If only you were here." "You'd know what to do." "And all my plans" "Keep falling' through" "All my plans, they" "Depend on you" "Depend on you" "To help them grow" "I love you" " That's my boy!" " Gee, thanks, Dad!" "And that's all" "It's really all I know" "It's all I know" "Come on." "All I need is a chance." "It's all" "I know" "Y eah" "Ohh" "I can't sit here while I go nowhere" "Chase my dreams through the polluted air" "Chase my dreams through the polluted air" "I'm walking on a wire" "I'm walking on a wire" "Running out of time" "There's no room in this ol' heart of mine" "Hungry minds just stare you in the eyes" "Spread it thick and lay the biggest lies" "Words jump off the pages" "Passion hits the street" "Anger's cooking in the city heat" "World's too crazy I can't take no more" "I won't stay here locked behind the door" "Got to stir it up" "I got to break it up now" "When I think about tomorrow" "Ooh, I can't wait to" "Stir it up Got to shake it up now" "If I have to beg or borrow" "I'm not gonna take it anymore" "Oh-oh oh-ohh-oh oh-ohh-oh Come on" "Oh-oh oh-ohh-oh oh-ohh-oh Come on" "So much pressure to keep holding on" "Whoa" "Pack my clothes up, baby" "I'll be gone" "Stir it up Got to break it up now" "When I think about tomorrow" "When I think about tomorrow" "I can't wait to Stir it up" "I can't wait to Stir it up" "I got to shake it up now" "I got to shake it up now" "If I have to beg or borrow" "If I have to beg or borrow" "I'm not gonna take it no more" "Lean to the left Lean to the right" "C'mon Acorns Fight, fight, fight!" "Go, Acorns!" "There's excitement in the air, ladies and gentlemen." "It's been two decades since Oakey Oaks has beaten rivals the Spud Valley Taters." "Down by only a single run, with a player in scoring position, we have a chance." "This excitement isn't about the fun of baseball, the prize." "It's about the gloating and rubbing their noses in it, the "Nah-nah-na-na-na!" "We beat you!" taunting" " that comes with the winning." " Yeah!" "That's right." "Oakey Oaks and Mayor Turkey Lurkey will finally have bragging rights again for one full year!" "This battle has taken a heavy toll on our hometown heroes." "After nine grueling innings and several players out with injuries, the Acorns are scraping the bottom of the roster." "Hopefully, there's just enough muscle on the bench to pull out a win." "Up next..." "Chicken Little." "Clearly a long shot, folks." "Little hasn't been up to bat once since joining the team." " He's gonna lose the game for us!" " But wait!" "If he can just get a walk and advance to first, that powerhouse," "Foxy Loxy can step up and save us all." "She's had a terrific game so far." "A shoo-in for the MVP trophy." "OK, kid, listen up." "You have an itty-bitty, teeny-tiny strike zone." "There's no way he can throw you out!" "Take the walk." "Don't swing." " I have a good feeling..." " Look at me." "Don't swing." "Take the walk." "You hear me?" "Just take the walk!" " But, coach, wait!" " Don't swing!" "Nervous, gangly, barely able to hold the pine, Little advances to the box." "He's going to bat from the right." "Make it the left." "No, the right." " The right." " Easy out!" "Looks like left field's found something better to do, center field's got a hunger pang in his second stomach" " and right field's digging for grubs." " Play ball!" "Why him?" "Why now?" "I won't embarrass you, Dad." "Not this time." "Here's the wind-up, the pitch!" "It's a high cutter." "Ball!" "Strike one!" "I'm not going to sugarcoat it." "I've seen roadkill with faster reflexes." "The catcher lays down the signals." "Here's the pitch." "Curve ball low and outside, he swings!" "Strike two!" "I said, don't swing!" "Don't swing!" " No!" " Batter up!" "Two in the hole!" "One more strike, it's a punch out, folks, and we're all going home." "Today is a new day." "Don't swing!" "Well, take away my squeaky toy!" "It's a hit!" " A hit?" " A hit?" "A hit?" "But wait!" "The batter is still at home plate." "He's standing in a daze." "Run, kid, run!" "Go, son!" "Run!" "Run!" "There he goes, headed the wrong way." " Wait, wait, wait!" " No, no!" "Not that way!" " Run the other way!" " Turn around!" "Wait, wait!" "He's turned!" "I've never said these words before, but he's actually rounding home plate!" " Goosey Loosey steps on home..." " Today's a new day!" "We have a tie game!" "They're scrambling in the alley." "Looks like Rodriguez has it." "Nope, it's the center fielder!" "Mayhem in the outfield, as Rodriguez is fired to second." "Catch is complete, but where's the ball?" "Little touches the bag and keeps going." "A hunt for the rock." "The fielders are having trouble." "Commotion out there!" " It's stuck!" "It's stuck!" " Tip the cow!" "It's the old tip-the-cow play." "The kid heads for the hot corner, a stand-up triple!" " Yes!" " Hold up!" "No!" "He's going for the whole enchilada!" "The ball of wax, kit and the caboodle!" "Go back!" "You're never gonna make it!" "He's trying to lighten his load!" "The outfield behind, Little's on all cylinders!" "He slides for the dish!" "It's going to be a photo finish at home!" "You're out!" "Oh, folks." "Folks, what a heartbreaker." " Wait!" " Wait, wait!" "Wait a cotton-picking second." "Hold your horses, here, and horses hold your breath." "This might not be over." "He..." "He's..." "Safe!" "The runner is safe!" "It's all over, folks!" "The Acorns have done the impossible!" "For the first time in 20 years, we won the pennant!" "Mothers, kiss your babies!" "You've witnessed a miracle!" "Remember where you were at this moment." "The smells!" "The sounds!" "There's a new winner in town and his name is Chicken Little!" "That was just a lucky hit!" "Yes, Chicken Little, it's all yours!" "The victory, the triumph, the glory!" "And getting doused with a sticky drink that soaks into your undies and chafes for hours!" "This is one memory you'll savor forever!" "Yeah!" "Yes, yes, yes!" "We won!" "We won!" "That's my boy out there!" "That's my boy!" "I am the champion, my friend" "And I'll keep on fightin' till the end" "I am the champion" "I am the champion" "But gone is the loser" "'Cause I am the champion" "Of the world" "Here's the wind-up and the pitch!" " A knuckleball!" " He swings!" " Crack!" " It's going." " He rounds first, to second!" " It hits high off the wall!" "He flies past third and heads for the plate!" "It's a scramble for the ball!" "It's gonna be close!" "He is safe!" " The mighty Acorns win!" " Yes!" "Acorns win!" "The mighty Acorns win!" "Geez, you know," "I guess that puts the whole "sky is falling" incident behind us once and for all." "Hey, kiddo?" "You bet, Dad." "Unless you think we need... closure?" "Closure?" "What's to close here?" "Unless you think we need to close..." " Not me." " It's closed!" " I agree." "Vacuum sealed." " Shut tight!" "OK, great, Dad." "You..." "Closure, I dunno." "All right." "Enough fun." "Good talk." "Good talk, son." " Here, I'll give you a push." " Rock me a little." "Help me." " OK." " OK, I'm up." "Hey." "Good night, Ace." "Here's the wind-up..." "and the pitch!" "Thanks." "Thanks for the chance." "No!" "A piece of the sky?" "!" "Shaped like a stop sign?" "!" "Not again!" "Hey!" "Son!" "You all right?" "I'm coming!" "I'm coming!" "I'm comin' upstairs!" " What's wrong?" " Nothing." "You sure?" "I thought I heard you yell." "No." "I fell out of bed." " How'd you get over there?" " Over where?" " There." "There!" " Where?" "How'd you get over there?" "Who're we talking about?" "Never mind." "What's the difference?" "Look, the past is behind us, right?" "Tomorrow's gonna be a new day." "Please be gone, please be gone, please be gone..." "Good." "No." "No." "I gotta call Abby!" "Y o, I'll tell you what I want What I really really want" "Tell me what you want What you really really want" "I'll tell you what I want What I really really want" "So tell me what you want What you really really want" "I wanna, I wanna I wanna, I wanna" "Really really really wanna zigazig ah" "If you wanna be my lover Y ou gotta get with my friends" " Gotta get with my friends" " Make it last forever" "Friendship never ends If you wanna be my lover" "Y ou have got to give Taking is too easy" " But that's the way it is" " Hello!" "Mallard residence." "Tell you what I want" "Runt!" "Quiet!" "I'm on the phone!" "I wanna, I wanna I wanna, I wanna" " I wanna really..." " Runt!" "Hey!" "Where are you?" " We already started." "We were just..." " It opened up!" "What?" "!" "All right, guys." "Watch this." "Bizarre." "OK." "Lemme guess." "You haven't told your dad yet." " Well..." " I knew it!" "Why haven't you told him?" "There hasn't been" " "you, your dad, talk-talk-talking."" " There was talking." " There was definitely talking." " Really?" "What did he say?" "What?" "All right, that's it." "We are doing an intervention!" "You have got to stop messing around and deal with the problem!" " She's right!" " Abby, please." "This is what fell on me the first time." "There's no way I'm bringing this up again." " No, he's not." " Runt!" "Sorry!" "I'm a gutless flip-flopper." "OK." "I'm sure there's a simple, logical explanation." "I mean, it could be a piece of weather balloon, or maybe it's part of some experimental communications satellite." "I don't care." "I want it out of my life, gone for good." "Everything back to normal." "Hey, remember when that icy blue stuff fell from the sky?" "Everybody thought it was from space and stuff?" "And it just turned out to be frozen pee from a jet airplane." "Yeah, that's right." "It's frozen pee." "Yeah." "It's frozen pee." "Pee, pee, pee, pee pee." " Could you stop saying that?" " What?" "Pee?" " Pee." " Tinkle?" " Piddle?" "Wee-wee?" " Whiz?" "OK, subject change." " Make pishee?" " I don't care what it is!" "Are you gonna help me get rid of it or not?" "Flying Fish!" "Take cover!" "Fish!" " No!" " Fish!" "Come on, come on, come on!" "Wait, wait, whoa, son!" "Where's the fire here?" "Chicken Little has something to tell you!" "Tell him." "He can handle it." "Who're we talkin' about?" "Gotta go, Dad!" "Bye!" "You got to be ready to listen to your children, even if they have nothing to say." " Sit tight, Fish!" " Fish!" "We will try to save you!" "I'm sorry!" "Wait!" "Sorry!" "Curb!" "Fish!" "Abby!" "Abby!" "Wake up!" "Come on!" "Let's get outta here!" "Oh, poor Fish!" "He's probably stuffed and mounted like an intergalactic trophy or maybe he's a half-living host implanted with face-hugging babies." "One thing's for sure, man." "He's gone!" " Gone, man!" " Not yet!" "Oh, snap." "Fish." "Hey!" "What are you doing?" "Come on!" "Fish." "Fish." "Fish." "Fish." "Where are you, Fish?" "!" "I can't handle the pressure!" "Go on without me!" " Runt." " You're just fine." "I'll jeopardize the mission!" "Endanger us all!" "Throw me overboard while you still have a chance!" "Just leave me some ammo, little water, some chips if you have 'em." "Calm." "OK, all right." "Listen." " Where's your bag?" " Everything's OK." " Now breathe." " Breathe." " No, slowly." " Slowly." "Slowly." "OK." "Now, just do the thing you do to relax." "Well, you can tell by the way" "I use my walk I'm a woman's man" "No time to talk" "Stayin' alive, stayin' alive'" "Fish!" "Fish!" "Are you OK?" "Did they hurt you?" "Say something!" "Don't tap the glass." "They hate it when you do that." "All right, let's get out of here." "Where's Runt?" "We're next." "Run!" "OK!" "That's it!" "We're running back to your house." "Tell your dad!" "OK!" "You're right, you're right!" "Stayin' alive, stayin' alive" "Stayin' alive" "Oh, Runt!" "Push!" "Push!" "No!" " Runt!" " No!" "Not pull!" "Push!" "We gotta get outta here right now!" "Come on..." "No!" "Come on, you guys!" "Hu..." "Hurry!" "Hurry!" "Hurry!" "OK, time out!" "So... have you been to the mall?" "Come on, buddy." "Come on, buddy." "I'm sorry." "Tension makes me bloat." "Come on, guys!" "Hurry, hurry, hurry!" "Look out!" "Thanks!" "Curse these genetically tiny legs!" "What's that noise?" "Sorry." "Nervous eater." " Run!" " Wait!" "Fish!" "The school bell!" "We've got to ring the school bell to warn everyone!" "Come on!" "Hurry!" "Hurry!" "Go!" "Go!" "It's locked!" "They're... they're comin'." "I need a soda." "Come on, buddy." "Come on, buddy!" " The corner's wrinkled!" " Why are we doing this?" "Come on, take it, take it!" "Yes!" "Come on!" "Work!" "Work!" "Work!" "You work!" "What happened?" "I blacked out there for a second." "The sky is falling!" "The sky is falling!" "It was just an acorn." "A little acorn!" "I can't tell you how embarrassed I am, folks." "Ring the bell!" "Come on, Chicken Little!" "Ring the bell!" "What?" "Let's check the weather with Riz." "A cold front is moving in so..." "The alarm bell has been activated!" "Quick!" "Get a camera crew!" "Chicken Little!" "You better have a good explanation for this!" "There's, there's..." "It's a..." "You have to..." "D'oh!" "Doo wah!" "What did he say?" "There's..." "It's a..." "You have to..." "D'oh!" "Doo wah!" "Follow me!" "Come on!" "Hurry!" "Hurry!" "Aliens here!" "Aliens here!" "It's... it's happening again." "Come on!" "Hurry!" "Hurry!" "Come on." "Come on." "You're about to see it!" "Quick!" "Quick!" "It's taking off!" "Come on!" "If you don't hurry, you're gonna miss it!" "Oh, look!" "A penny!" " Guys!" " Oh, right." "Hurry!" "Hurry!" "Come on!" "Quick!" "It's taking off!" "Come on!" "Hurry up!" "Please!" "It's right in..." " What are we lookin' for?" " I don't know." "Yeah." "OK." "I know this looks bad, but there's an invisible spaceship right there with aliens who are here to invade Earth!" "Let me show you." "Bad throw." "OK, let me try again." " Bad throw." " We all know I don't have a good arm, but there's these cloaking panels on the bottom." "They make it disappear." "One fell out of the sky and hit me right on the head." "It's the acorn thing all over again." "There's no story here." "At least we can sell the video to Chickens Gone Wild." " I'm telling ya, it was here!" " No, wait!" "There were aliens!" "It's true!" "They had eyes..." "They're glowing and then tentacles!" "And maps with planets with X's through them!" "Runt, that's enough!" "Don't make Mommy take away your Streisand collection!" "Mom?" "You leave Barbra out of this!" "Why can't you keep that child of yours under control?" " What kind of parent are you?" " Everybody, I'm telling the truth." "Dad!" "Dad!" "I'm not making this up!" "You gotta believe me this time." "No, son." "I don't." "I can't tell you how embarrassed I am, folks." "I'm really sorry about this, everyone." "Looks like this is just a big, crazy misunderstanding." "Well, other than the penny, this whole evening was a wash!" "Mr. Cluck, don't take it so hard." "No one blames you." "Emergency, emergency!" "Send help!" "Reports of panic and mayhem are pouring in after yet another Chicken Little incident last night." "In one instance, a family of lemmings was sent running in fear, but unable to find a cliff, they instead began throwing themselves" " from the nearest park bench." " Hello?" "I'm sorry." "Hello?" "I apologize." "Hello?" "Give me break!" "Hello?" "What?" "You were trampled?" "That's terrible." "I thought rabbits' feet were supposed to be lucky." "Y ou have hate mail." " I'm truly sorry." "That wasn't funny." " Y ou have more hate mail." "Hi." "What are you saying, sir?" "Y our hate mail box is full." "Oh, yes." "I do see the skywriting there." "Thank goodness the cloud blocked the last letter." "Hello?" "Hey, hey, hey!" "Watch your mouth." "Yeah?" "Oh, yeah?" "Well, I'd like to see you try." "OK, I love you too, Mom." "Bye." "Hello?" "Really." "Well..." "If there was ever a time to talk to your dad, it's now." "It's too late for that." "It's too late, baby, now it's too late." "Though they really did try to make it." "Runt." "Just think about it." "Something inside has died and they just can't hide and they just can't fake it." "Oh, no, no." "Runt, I just really want to be alone right now." "Abby!" "Runt!" "Fish!" "Look!" "There!" "Look there!" "Look there!" " What is that thing?" "!" " Look at that!" " His name is Kirby?" " They left him behind?" "Darth Vader is Luke's father?" "No, don't..." "Come on, come on, don't cry." "We're here for you." "We're gonna do whatever it takes to get you back home." "Here, blow." "OK." "See, guys?" "He's cool." "He was just freaked out." "That's all." "Run!" "Those are your parents?" "And they brought the galactic armada?" " Watch out for the kid!" "Don't hit him!" " There you are." "Get in the car." " I gotta tell you something." " What?" "I know, I know!" "You were right!" "Alien invasion." "I see that now." " Look up!" "There it is!" " Dad, you know, about that..." " It's actually just a rescue mission." " Rescue mission?" "This alien kid was left and they're coming back to get him!" "We have to help him, 'cause if we don't, who else will?" "What?" "!" "Forget it." "You wouldn't believe me anyway." "Son!" "Son, come back!" "Son!" "Chicken Little!" "Mr. Cluck!" "Wait!" "He's telling the truth!" "He is!" "Though, given his track record, we understand why you don't believe him!" "It's the end of the world as we know it" "It's the end of the world as we know it" "Is there any sign of him?" "Negative." "We'll have to send in the ground troops." "And I feel fine" "It's the end of the world as we know it" "It's the end of the world as we know it" "It's the end of the world as we know it" "And I feel fine" "Watch out for the kid!" "No!" "Don't!" "Don't hit him!" "Don't hit..." "Look out!" "Chicken Little!" "What?" "Where's your head?" "We gotta get outta here!" "Come on!" "Come o..." " You, with the running and the jumping!" " Dad." "No, wait." "What are you guys doing?" "We gotta get outta here!" "It's like War of the Worlds out there!" " Stop pulling!" " Just listen to me for one second!" " It's not dangerous!" " We are under attack!" "Will you two stop messing around and deal with the problem?" " You're never there for me!" " What?" "OK, that's not what I had in mind, but..." "You're never there for me." "I mean, you were when I won the game, but not when I thought the sky fell." "And not at the ball field and not now!" "This is good!" "Keep going." "Keep going!" "You've been ashamed since the acorn thing." "We have to talk because Modern Mallard says avoiding closure can lead to molting." "I'm already small and I don't think I could handle being bald!" "I didn't... realize, son." "I never meant to..." "The acorn, the sky, I mean, the whole..." "You're right." "You're right." "Your mom, she was..." "You know, she was always good with stuff like this." "Me I'm gonna need a lot of work." "But you need to know that I love you, no matter what." "And I'm sorry I..." "And I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like that was something you had to earn." "And we're good." "Let's go." "Let's go." "OK, Dad." "Now, all we gotta do is return helpless little Kirby." "OK, Dad." "Now, all we gotta do is return helpless little Kirby." "Return this whatever it is?" "This is crazy!" "Crazy!" "Crazy wonderful!" "Just tell me what you need me to do." " Do you really mean it?" " You bet!" "Anything, son." "Come on, Dad." "We've got a planet to save!" "Crazy supportive." "That's me!" "This thing likes to nibble, doesn't it?" "By the way, I'd like to say I've always found you extremely attractive!" "Now that's closure." "Wait!" "Wait!" "What's goin' on?" "!" "They've given her an alien mind-wipe!" "OK, son." "What do we do now?" "OK." "This is a piece of cake, Dad." "All we have to do is take the kid down the street to the giant metal alien." "We surrender!" "Here!" "Take the key to the city!" "Key to my car?" "Tic Tac?" "Forget plan A!" "OK, OK, what now, son?" "Who, by the way, I support 100 percent." " Plan B?" " Of course!" "Plan B!" "What is plan B?" "What?" "You have to go to the bathroom?" "You want juice?" "A snack?" "Corn dog on a stick?" "Want to play some golf?" "What do you want?" "!" "I stink at this." "I'm a horrible father." "No, no, no, I am." "I am." "Is that your parents?" "That's it, Dad!" "Plan B!" "All we have to do is weave through traffic through town square while avoiding death rays from alien robots." "We get to Town Hall, climb up to the roof and give the kid back to its parents." "Yeah!" "Charge!" "Now that's what I call takin' out the trash!" "OK, son." "Now what?" "Fire truck!" "Plan C!" "Runt, no!" "Turn around!" " Go back to Town Hall!" " But they'll vaporize us!" " You want me to do what?" " Runt, just do it!" "Lt'll work!" "We'll survive!" "I will survive?" "Brake, Abby!" "OK." "Floor it!" "Deploy ladder, Fish!" "I'll survive" "I will survive Hey, hey" "Plan D." "Thighs hurting." "Drumsticks burning." "But loving you!" "Full support!" "I can't get out!" "Come back, son!" "We can't go out this way!" "It's dangerous." " No, Dad, I can do this!" " It's too dangerous." "I can do this." "I can." "You gotta believe me this time." "I..." "I do, son." "OK, hang on tight." " Yes!" " Here's your kid!" "Look over here!" "Here's your kid!" "He's OK!" "He's all right!" "Stop the invasion!" "Son!" "Son!" " I'm here, son!" " Dad!" "Look out!" "Get away from my boy!" "Get away!" "The mighty Acorns..." "Tic Tac?" "Why did you take our child?" "Just..." "Just hold on there, buddy!" "My son did not take your kid!" "You were the one that left him behind!" "That's bad parenting!" "And I should know!" "Silence!" "Release the child!" " OK." " OK, OK." "Sweetheart!" "Oh, Kirby, I'm so happy to see you!" "My darling!" " That was close." " At least they're back together." "They got their kid." "You have violated intergalactic law 90210!" "A charge punishable by immediate particle disintegration!" "Oh, snap." "What's that?" "I don't quite..." "Melvin, honey?" "He's saying they're telling the truth." "It was just a misunderstanding." "Well, then." "This is awkward." " Yes, it is." " I suppose I should..." " Put the big guns away?" " Yes, yes." " Now put them down." " Of course." " And turn off your big voice." " But I don't..." " Turn it off." " But..." "But I don't get to use the big voice very often!" "Melvin." "Yes, dear." "Hi." "Anyone want to try the big voice?" "Again, I cannot tell you how sorry we are for this whole misunderstanding." "Oh, dear goodness." "We are so very sorry." "We are." "And if it hadn't been for your son there, well, we might have vaporized the whole planet." "What?" "Goodness!" "What a shame that would have been." " Tell 'em!" " Where would we pick acorns?" "We stop here on the way to the in-laws." " Every year." " Looked on all the other planets." " You only find them on Earth." " It says here." "That caught our eyes." "OK, everything's been put back to normal, except for this one, over here." "Hi, y'all!" "Foxy?" "Lollipop, lollipop Oh, lolli lolli lolli" "Lollipop..." "She got her brainwaves scrambled during reconstitution." "No worries!" "We can put her back the way she was." "No!" "She's perfect." "Lollipop!" "Lollipop!" "Scary." "Darling!" "Look at the time!" "We better get a move on." "All right, then." "It was good meeting' ya." "Sorry for the whole full-scale invasion thing." "But, hey, I'm a dad." "You know how it is with your kids." "When they need ya, you do whatever it takes." "There goes that panel again." "Every year we come, this thing falls off." "Seriously, honey, someday it's going to hit somebody on the head." " Nonsense!" " You can't return the panel, can you?" " Now that's ridiculous." " You threw away the receipt again." "Silence!" "Melvin, did you just try and use the big voice on me?" "Who we talkin' about?" "So I'd like to see the movie they make about you now." "So I'd like to see the movie they make about you now." "I just hope they stay true to what really happened." "Oh, son, these people are from Hollywood!" "One thing they'll never do is mess with a good story." "...is mess with a good story." "Red alert!" "Man your battle stations!" "Status report, Mr. Fish." "Commander Little, the evil Foxloxian Army has broken through the planet's atmosphere." "But that means..." "Yes, I know." "The sky... is falling." "Commander Little!" "No!" "Please... call me Ace." "Oh, Ace!" "No!" "I never intended to bring you into this..." "Abby." " Runt, do you copy?" " Y es, commander?" "Runt, my friend, an alien fleet is about to invade Earth." "Civilization as we know it depends on me and, to a lesser extent... you." "So I've just got one question for you:" "Are you ready to rock?" "Ain't no mountain high enough, ain't no valley low..." "Ain't no mountain high enough" "Raise your pork shield, Runt." "Prepare to engage." "Stay on target." "Stay on target!" "Give 'em a taste of the other white meat!" "Cap'n!" "Look out!" "Runt!" "Runt, are you all right?" "No, no." "Y a gotta go on without me, commander." "Just leave me some ammo, a little water, some chips if you have 'em." "This is amazingly accurate." "He was my good friend." "Oh, Abby." "At least I still have you..." "Abby." " Ace!" " Abby." " Ace!" " Abby." "Ace!" "Good people of Oakey Oaks." "Though at times it may feel like the sky is falling around you, never give up." "For every day... is a new day!" "A new day!" "Ain't no mountain high enough" "Ain't no valley low enough" "Oh, Ace!" "To keep me from you" "Ain't no mountain high enough" "Ain't no valley low enough" "Ain't no river wild enough" "To keep me from you" "Ain't no mountain high enough" "Nothing can keep me" "Keep me from you" "Ain't no mountain high enough" "Nothing can keep me" "Keep me from you" "Ain't no mountain high enough" "Ain't no valley low enough" "Ain't no river wild enough" "To keep me from you" "To keep me from you" "Nothing in this world" "Nothing in this world" "Can keep me from you, babe" "Just call my name" "Don't go breaking my heart" "I couldn't if I tried" "Oh, honey, if I get restless" "Baby, you're not that kind" "And nobody knows it" " When I was down" " I was your clown" "And nobody knows it" "Nobody knows" "Right from the start" "I gave you my heart" "I gave you my heart" "Don't go breaking my heart" "I won't go breaking your heart" "Don't go breaking my Don't go breaking my" "Don't go breaking my heart" "Don't go breaking my Don't go breaking my" "I won't go breaking your heart" "Don't go breaking my Don't go breaking my" "Don't go breaking my heart" "Come on, Runt." "You can do it." "Don't go breaking my I won't go breaking your heart" "Don't go breaking my Don't go breaking my" "You got to act quickly, Dad." "Try this." " Don't go breaking my" " There you go!" " Don't go breaking my" " There it is!" "I won't go breaking your heart" "I'm having fun now!" "Don't go breaking my heart" "That was great!" "Let's sing it again!"

"Previously on "How To Get Away With Murder"..." " He died 'cause I left him there." " We'll fix this." "This is proof Mr. Lahey moved and hid the body from Miss Atwood." "I can fix this." "If you just give me a chance..." "Are you kidding?" "You are suspended!" "Atwood admitted she moved Wes' body." "Why aren't we talking about going after the people who killed Wes?" "We don't know who killed him." "He testified against Charles Mahoney a week before he died." "Laurel." "Wes was cremated." "Oliver:" "All this time, you've been telling me Annalise was hiding something when you're the one with a secret." "You went to Annalise's house that night, didn't you?" "1, 2, 3, 4." "Woman:" "It was my fault." "I say that to myself so that maybe I'll start to believe it [sighs] and feel bad." "Because I'll admit, right now," "I don't feel that bad." "It's like my brain just broke... all the way." "And I can't get that image of her out of my head." "Woman #2:" "I keep having this dream..." "Cars crashing into a convenience store, and there's all these people trapped underneath." "They're screaming at me the most vile things that you've ever heard." "Woman:" "Like, why can't I just be happy for once?" ""Pile of trash, You ugly whore."" " Mistake after stupid mistake." " It's just stuck..." " Why do I have to always be..." " in a constant loop." "Worrying about everyone else?" " I just want to throw up." " "Disgusting, repulsive," " "dried-up, old bitch."" " Hate me." " I hate it." " I deserve it." "It's just enough to make me want to die." "[Breathing heavily]" " Would you like to share?" " No." "You sure?" "We're good listeners." "I'm new." "But you already know that, so..." "[Breathes deeply]" "And I have a problem..." "with drinking, yes." "But I got other problems, too..." "Lots of them." "Like, I could take up this entire meeting talking about them, and you would be entertained." "Trust me." "But everyone's got problems." "I mean, that's all you hear in these meetings..." "Men who can't afford to eat, women who get beat up." "There was even a woman in here whose 6-year-old daughter died in a school shooting." "I mean, the world is ugly." "People get depressed, and so they drink." "That's clear." "But, I don't know." "Sitting in these rooms, talking about it..." "I don't know." "[Groans lightly] It's just..." "[Sighs]" "I mean, look at you." "You've been coming here for 26 years, and y-you're still a mess." "I mean, what has coming here done for you?" "I mean, tell me!" "There's got to be something that you learned... something..." "Right, that you helps you to feel better... other than this whining." "[Sniffles]" "I mean, tell me." "Tell me what it is." "Man #2:" "Have you tried meditation?" "[Sniffles]" "I'll think about it." "[Knock on door]" "Oliver:" "Where have you been?" " [Panting] Running." " For two hours?" "You'll be the one that benefits when I have abs." "Y-You left your phone." "It kept ringing." "I saw it was Bonnie, so I answered it." "There's a hearing for Annalise tomorrow to get her charges dropped, and they want you there." "[Sighs]" "Maybe you should tell them." "They won't believe me." "Well, I believe you." "Do you?" "Yeah." "That's convincing." "Why are you ignoring my texts?" "I've been busy." "Busy ratting us out to the fuzz?" "Would I be here if I did?" "I don't know." "Maybe they put a wire on you." "[Loudly] Copy that, officers?" "I didn't go to the cops." "Did Oliver find something on Annalise's phone?" " Is that what you don't want to say?" " No." " Then what's wrong?" " Nothing." " Why are you lying?" " 'Cause he's always doing it." "I brought you here to fill the seats behind Annalise, not to bicker." "Do I have anything to worry about?" "Yeah." "Worry about wasting Annalise's time with this impossible motion to dismiss." "We win this, and all of our problems go away, including yours." "So get in there, sit down, and act like you actually like Annalise." "Bonnie:" "Is it true you were fired from the District Attorney's office, Ms. Atwood?" "Yes." "Why?" "I forged a signature on the form ordering the transfer of Wesley Gibbins' body." "The signature of an investigator from your office..." "Nate Lahey?" "Yes." "Can you explain to the court why you would tamper with evidence this way?" "Objection... argumentative." "It's probative to the key issue of my motion..." "Malicious prosecution." "Overruled." "I wasn't tampering with evidence." "I was protecting it." "How does transferring a body protect evidence?" "Ms. Keating has a history of committing unlawful actions to win her cases." "I was trying to protect all of our evidence." "Now." "Transferring the body broke chain of custody, according to Rule 901." "Anyone, including you, could have manipulated the evidence." "But we will never be able to prove that, because after transferring the body, you also ordered its cremation." " Isn't that true?" " Objection..." " Assuming facts not in evidence." " Sustained." "Bonnie." "[Scribbling]" "As I'm sure you're aware, the Rule of Spoliation states that you may not benefit from the destruction of evidence." "I never meant to." "Intent is irrelevant." "Your Honor, who is trying the case here?" "Ms. Keating, either act as your own counsel or advise your lawyer on your own time." "[Sighs]" "Ms. Atwood, did you or did you not order the cremation of Wesley Gibbins' body?" "I did not." "Do you know who ordered the cremation of Wesley Gibbins?" "No." " Because you're lying under oath?" " No." "Objection..." "She's goading the witness." "Jacobs:" "Sustained." "No further questions." "Michaela:" "She just perjured herself in there, right?" " Of course." " So we need to break her." "We would've if I was the one asking the questions." "We go back in tomorrow, so everyone come back to my house, and we'll figure out ways to prove she lied." "Has anyone considered the possibility that Atwood has nothing to do with this?" "Of course she does." "The Mahoneys killed Wes and got Atwood to help them cover it up." " Why would she do that?" " Why does anyone do anything?" "Money, son." "When you have Mahoney's cash, you can get people to do anything." "You can kill their pets, have sex with creepy, old guys." " Annalise..." " So, you're saying you'd sleep with an old man if someone paid you enough?" "Uh, with my bank account in its current state, yeah, I would." "Laurel:" "Annalise." "Charles Mahoney just got released from jail." " [Camera shutters clicking]" " I can't express how relieved we are that the prosecution finally realized that the charges against me were manufactured." "Woman:" "Do you have plans to sue the state for wrongful prosecution?" "No." "Right now, I just want to go home, spend some time with my family." "Mrs. Mahoney, are you happy to put this all behind you?" "Sylvia:" "No, because it isn't behind us." "Man:" "Can you tell us what you mean by that?" "What'd I tell you?" "They probably paid off a judge to get him released." "Shh!" "My husband's murder is still unsolved." "So, while one nightmare might be over, we are still deep in the middle of another." "I owe it to my husband to find the person or persons who shot him dead in the middle of the street." " Turn it off." " [TV clicks]" "Great, so, we sit here and wait for her to come kill us, too." "She's not gonna kill us." " She's gonna pay someone to kill us." " No one's getting killed." "You said so yourself that these chuckleheads are dangerous." "But Atwood isn't." "She's the weak link." "And if we find proof that she had any contact with the Mahoneys, they all go down." "And isn't that what you want, to find out who killed Wes and how to make them pay?" "So, that's what we do." "We don't stand around here complaining." "We act." "So let's get to work." " You wanted to see me?" " Close the door." "Denver:" "I saw you in court today." "Who were you there for?" "Atwood?" "Or is it Annalise these days?" "I was there 'cause this is my case." "That the only reason?" "'Cause this case has been damaged enough by my A.D.A. tampering with the victim's body." " I had nothing to do with that." " I know that now." "But this whole department is under a microscope." "So I need you to look me in the eye and tell me that you are not in contact with Keating." "We've been done for a long time now." "I'm not here to play games, so either trust me or fire me." "No one's getting fired." "Good." "What's this?" "Atwood's Wi-Fi password." "She works out of her home office sometimes, so if she had any secret communications, she'd do it from there." "You're welcome." "If Denver finds out that you're helping me," " it could hurt both of us." " Don't worry about that." "My ass could go to jail for the rest of my life." "It's my job to worry about everything right now." "Why do you think I'm here?" "Say "thank you."" "This is Atwood's Wi-Fi password." "Get into her computer, phone records, bank statements, anything that'll link her to the Mahoneys." "Well, you got her password." "That saves me about an hour." "The rest of you, dig into the discovery of my case..." "Police records, interviews." "Chances are Atwood doctored some of those, too." "Oh, God." "That's not for you." "What is it?" "It's a file that's better for Michaela." "I have no idea what you're doing." "No, no, no, please, don't." "Please do..." "He looks better than I thought." "You okay?" "Yeah." "What's going on with you?" "Nothing." "You can't even look me in the eye." "'Cause you're so blindingly beautiful." "You're mad at me for taking Asher's side." "Fine." "I get that." "But I think the two of us know better than to let some boy ever come between us." "The only way I've gotten through any of this insanity is because we had each other's backs." "There's nothing you can't say to me." "I'm having coming-out flashbacks." "[Scoffs]" "What is it?" "I got into Atwood's landline records." "Okay, so, she received a call from this phone number on the night Wes died." "She got another call from that same number on the day that she had Wes' body moved and again on the night that he was cremated." "It's a blocked number." "It's probably a burner, which means it's impossible to..." "Laurel:" "To what?" "Uh..." "I'm sorry." "There's no way for me to find out whose number this is." " Unless we call it." " We can't." "Asher:" "Why not?" "If the Mahoneys or one of their goons picked up, then we'd know they're in cahoots with Atwood." "Annalise:" "And lets them know that we're on to them." "Keep digging." "See if you can trace the number to anyone." "Um, I told you, I can't." "Oliver, now, you've done a lot of things this year you thought you couldn't do." " They'll believe you." " [Whispers] Shut up." "What's going on?" " Nothing." " Michaela." "I'm just not feeling very well." "What happened?" "Did you say something to her?" " Asher." " Connor:" "No." "You can be an ass to me all you want but not to my lady." "Asher, I think you're probably reading into things." "He's not." "Michaela." " Just tell them." " Tell us what?" "Laurel:" "Yeah, seriously, what's going on?" "Uh, I think we should just give Connor some space." " Open your mouth." " Connor might've killed Wes." "You know, you're much nicer on HumpR." "That's 'cause I wanted to get laid." "[Chuckles]" "You know what?" "You're the problem with the gay community." "You know, we all just treat each other like a piece of meat." "We're all the problem with the gay community." "It was nice meeting you." " [Door opens] - [Scoffs]" "Hey, I realized I don't have my phone." "Could I borrow yours?" "[Chuckles]" "Wow." "You're on a roll." "[Cellphone beeps]" "Annalise:" "Connor, it's Annalise." "I need all of you to come to the house." "I got your voice-mail." "So I went to the house." "It was open." "Hello?" "Annalise?" "Annalise?" "Connor:" "I went in the basement." "That's where I found him." "Wes?" "Wes!" "Wes." "Wes, wake up." "Come on." "Help!" "Annalise!" "He didn't have a pulse." "Or maybe I just couldn't find it." "I don't know." "But his body was still warm, so I started CPR." " Why didn't you call 911?" " Because I didn't have my phone." " There was a phone in the house." " You weren't there." "You don't understand." "I..." "[Gasps] I tried to save him." "Connor: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5." "Breathe." "Come on, Wes!" "Breathe!" "He wouldn't breathe, so I-I kept doing the... the compressions." "But then..." "[Bone cracks]" "There was, like, a..." "like a crack, like a bone or... or rib or something." "I don't know." "Maybe..." "Maybe that's what killed him, you know, maybe, like, a... a bone punctured his lung or something." "No, no, Connor, h-he was hurt before you got there." " Hey, do not baby him right now!" " Connor, Connor, Connor." "Did you see if he was hurt?" " No." " Are you sure?" "Because that would help us figure out how he died." "I didn't see anything!" "He just..." "He just looked dead." "Yeah, 'cause you left him there to die!" "There was gas!" "I smelled gas." "Whoever killed him cut the gas line." " You mean you cut the gas line." " Laurel." " Oh, God, Laurel." " I swear I didn't do this!" "How are we supposed to believe you right now?" "Oliver:" "Look at him!" "Look how guilty he feels." "Yeah, maybe 'cause he killed him." "Stop it." "Why are you just telling us this now?" "Because he was afraid of this, that you would think he did it, when the truth is he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time." "Yeah, maybe that's what he wants us to believe." "Will you stop attacking him, please?" "All of you have done terrible things, and you have asked me to believe that you did them for the right reasons." "Well, now you need to do the same thing for Connor." " Yeah, he hated Wes." " No, I didn't." " You blamed him for everything!" " Annalise:" "Quiet." " Please, Laurel, you're just making it worse!" " I couldn't kill anyone!" "So, you know what you need to do right now?" " You need to go and kill yourself." " Laurel, stop." "That's the one good thing you're gonna do in your life." "You're gonna go, and you're gonna kill yourself, Connor!" "[Gasps]" "[Footsteps approach]" "Today's a good day for you." " [Door closes]" " How's that?" "We're offering you a plea deal." "Admit Annalise ordered you to kill Wes, and you'll be out in seven years." "Your case against Annalise is in the toilet." "Maybe it's time you just give up." "If the judge throws out Annalise's case, my office is gonna have to come up with an alternative theory... like... you and Laurel Castillo killed Wes." "She was in the house that night, as were you, according to your confession." "Love triangle gone wrong." "What do you have on her?" "Sign the deal, and no one ever has to know." "[Sighs]" "Bonnie:" "You could've kept Annalise out of jail." "How?" "By telling the police that she wasn't at the house that night." "[Sniffles] That doesn't mean she didn't do this." "Bonnie told you, right?" "This whole time, I've been telling everyone that you killed Wes." "You should be begging her not to kill you right now, not attacking her." "Why don't you let her speak for herself?" "So... was it you?" "You killed him?" "Leave, Bonnie." "Go." "Bonnie:" "Move." " [Door closes]" " Now." "This is grief." "You're trying to make sense out of things that don't make sense, choosing a target for your anger." " You still haven't answered my question." " You know the answer." "I don't." "Every bad thing that we've done starts with you." "You're confused." "Or I just don't know how to bite my tongue anymore!" "Laurel's right." "You're deflecting." " You are." " I never killed anyone." " Neither have I!" " You hacked up my husband, dumped his body in a garbage bin." "Because of Wes, okay?" "!" "We were all trying to help him and you." "There you go again, deflecting." "No, no, no, you two dragged us into your Oedipal crap" " and we've all been trying to clean it up!" " You should've left!" " I tried." " Well, you bailed on that plan because your boyfriend wouldn't run away with you." "I was trying to protect him from you." "You couldn't stand the idea of spending one second alone." "You don't know anything about me." "Well, I know you're paranoid and broken, haven't trusted anyone since you were a little boy." "I know what you're trying to do right now." "And you're still acting like that little boy, making up ugly stories about people because you're scared of anyone actually getting to know you." "Oh, God, you're so desperate for that kid!" "So you blame me for the mess that's been in your head since the day you were born!" "All your sons are dead!" "They're all dead!" "And you can't use me to replace them." "Look me in the eye." "Right here." "You said you didn't hurt Wes." "So I believe you." "But I need you to believe me, too." "Forgive him." "No." "Annalise:" "He made a terrible mistake, just like we all have at one point, but he apologized." "I don't care." "Wes is still gone." "But it's not Connor's fault." "It's whoever killed him, and that's where your anger needs to be going right now." "Otherwise, this boy right here is gonna kill himself and we'll all have more blood on our hands." "Is that what you want?" "Forgive him." "He had some big file on Laurel." " He's bluffing." " But what if he's not?" "He told you he's investigating all the kids, right?" "To intimidate us." "Don't fall for it." "And don't do anything without talking to me." "Of course not." "Bonnie:" "Where are you going?" "To buy a gun so that I can use it on Connor." "I have an OB appointment. [Sighs]" "Still pregnant." "I really think that we should call the mystery number." "I can block my cell." "There's no way they'll know it's mine." "You heard Annalise." "No." "[Tablet beeps]" "[Engine starts]" "Nate:" "Atwood was just in New York." "She parked in a garage in the Financial District." " When?" " Today." "Right after Charles Mahoney was released." "Hello?" "Was that a thank you?" "No." "When the judge asks me how I got the information, should I just tell them that you broke into her car?" "I'm doing everything I can, Annalise." " No, you're not." " Excuse me?" "[Sighs]" "You should just talk to her." "You think she's gonna confess to me?" "Well, she fell for your moves before." "Or are you not as charming as you used to be?" "Okay." "I'm gonna hang up." "Was that Nate?" "We need all the help we can get." "Wait." "What if Connor isn't telling us everything?" "[Sighs]" "Is there really no vodka in the house?" "No." "[Sighs]" "Dr. Huang:" "There's the yolk sac." "That thicker area there is the fetal pole." "And... there you are." "The heartbeat." "[Heart beating]" "[Monitor clicks]" "It's a big decision." "[Scoffs] Yeah." "[Sighs] How much time do I have?" "Pennsylvania allows abortions up until 24 weeks." "Just know the law requires you to have a consultation with counselors where all your options are laid on the table" "24 hours prior to the termination." "Right." "Meggy." "Hey." "Hey." "Is everything okay?" "Yeah, I just, uh..." "I came to a doctor's appointment." "Being back here made me think of you." "Really?" "Because I thought that we weren't friends." "[Sighs] Meggy..." "Do you know that Michaela and them wouldn't even talk to me at Wes' memorial?" "That wasn't about you." "They were just really worried about how I lost my mind up there on the altar." "I'm sorry." "I just..." "I miss him, and I know that you do, too, which is why I shouldn't have shut you out." "It's just this whole situation's made me really paranoid." "Of me?" "[Scoffs]" "Of everyone." "Forgive me?" "The bitch is spotless." "We've been through every file we have on Atwood... twice." "There's nothing that makes her look stupid." "I couldn't track the phone number, either." " Sorry." " Guys, what about this?" "It says, "Stop being a weenie and call the mystery number"!" "We're not calling the number." "What about asking your dad?" "No." "I have an idea." "There's nothing in Wes' autopsy about the cracked rib, so you can put me on the stand, and I'll tell the truth." "It'll prove that the M.E. lied in her report and invalidate the D.A.'s entire case." "That could make Denver think you killed Wes." "Yeah, but it'll get Annalise off." "Okay, I know you think you have to do this, but..." "I want to." "There's no other way." "You have to let me do this." "I can't let you take the stand." "Thank God." "But Laurel can, though." "Mr. Gibbins' blood test showed an abnormally high CO2 level, and I observed petechiae, which are small hemorrhages around his cornea and on the lining of his larynx." "The presence of those two factors led me to conclude that Mr. Gibbins' cause of death was asphyxiation by smoke inhalation." "Bonnie:" "During your exam, did you observe any other serious injuries on Mr. Gibbins' body?" "No." "Really?" "Nothing that would result from a struggle or a fall?" "Objection..." "Asked and answered." "Merely asking the witness to clarify, Your Honor." "Apart from the third-degree burns sustained postmortem," "I observed no other traumatic injuries." "No further questions." "Jacobs:" "Mr. Denver?" "Nothing from our side, Your Honor." "Great, that was the last witness on your list." "Correct, Ms. Winterbottom?" "Actually, we have a new witness we'd like to call to the stand." "She was the other victim in the fire..." "Laurel Castillo." "Objection..." "Ms. Castillo is a critical witness for the State." "New evidence about that night has come to Ms. Castillo's recollection." "The State objects, Your Honor." "I've had no time to prepare a cross." "Mr. Denver has just stated that she is a critical witness to the State, which means he should be prepared to question her." "I'll be prepared for the trial." "The point of this hearing is to determine whether there will even be a trial, Mr. Denver." "Please step up, Ms. Castillo." "[Birds chirping]" "[Sighs] Why are you here?" "You know why." "Tell me or I'll call 911 right now." "How long have the Mahoneys been paying you off?" "The Mahoneys?" "Then who asked you to cremate Wes' body?" "I didn't order his body cremated." "We're not in court anymore." "No need to lie." "Everything I said under oath was true." "You don't believe me, I don't care." "Nate:" "Why were you in New York yesterday?" "You're following me now?" "I didn't say that." "I had a job interview with Anthony and Levin to try and salvage what's left of my career after Annalise destroyed it." "You destroyed your career the minute you forged my signature." "And I have been kicking myself about that ever since." "I don't need you kicking me, too." "You wouldn't be in this mess unless someone was twisting your arm." "I told you..." "There is no one." "Someone's gonna find out the truth." "And they might not be as understanding as me." "You're looking out for yourself." "So am I." "Don't come here again." "Why did you contact the defense today, Ms. Castillo?" "Laurel:" "To tell the truth." "Who did you lie to?" "The police." "Bonnie:" "Why?" "Because I didn't know who I could trust." "But now that I know that the D.A. hid Wes' body," "I know that I was right." "What were you too afraid to tell the police?" "That I saw Wes... in the house before the fire." "[Voice breaking] He was in the basement." "He was unconscious." "But his body was still warm, so I-I started CPR." "For how long?" "A minute or more." "And I kept wanting to get him to breathe, so I just kept pressing on his chest." "Um... [Sighs]" "But then, I must've..." "I must've pressed too hard, 'cause then I, uh, I heard a bone break." "What you're describing is a rib fracture, Ms. Castillo." "But the medical examiner testified that there were no other injuries." "That's a lie." " Motion to strike." " He was dead before the fire." "Why are you hiding that?" "Jacobs:" "Please don't address the D.A." "Why are you concealing how he died?" "!" "Unless you want to be held in contempt, Ms. Castillo," "I'm advising you to calm down." "[Sniffles] I'm sorry." "I'm sorry." "[Breathes deeply]" "No further questions." "You're a law student, Ms. Castillo, so I assume that means you can define "perjury" for the court?" "[Sighs, sniffles]" "Perjury is the crime of lying under oath." "Very good." "Did you learn that at Middleton, or have you committed perjury before?" "I'm not lying." "Really?" "So, you've never lied to legal authorities before?" "Hmm." "[Sniffles]" "Well, answer the question." "Denver:" "Answer the question." "Objection, Your Honor." "On what grounds, Mr. Delfino?" "Um..." "I object, Your Honor, on the grounds of hearsay." "The D.A. is referring to a supposed out-of-court statement of which we have no proof." "Here's the proof, Your Honor." "The prosecution enters into evidence this affidavit from the Federal District of Mexico City." "It contains a statement from Ms. Castillo confessing that she made a false claim of kidnapping as a teenager." "Objection, Your Honor." "The D.A. is presenting improper character evidence." "Ms. Castillo, is this your signature on this statement?" "Hm." "[Sniffles] It is." "[Sighs]" "Jacobs:" "Then your objection overruled, Ms. Winterbottom." "Continue." "Denver:" "Do you admit to fabricating a story about getting kidnapped?" "I can explain." "I'm not asking for an explanation," " just a yes or no." " It's not as simple as that." "Did you or did you not sign that document admitting that you lied to authorities about getting kidnapped?" "Answer the question." "I did." "[Spectators murmur]" " So, you're a pathological liar?" " No." "Really?" "Because even a sociopath couldn't lie" " that well on the stand." " Seriously." "I lied about seeing Wes, not about being kidnapped." "You signed an affidavit admitting you made the whole thing up." "Because my father made me." " I'm so confused." " It's simple." "I was really kidnapped." "I just had to say I wasn't in order to protect my father." "Right." "The defense requested this hearing with the intention of proving malicious prosecution." "The only thing they've been able to prove is to what extraordinary..." "And illegal..." "lengths they're willing to go to have these charges dropped." "Now, although the cremation of the victim's body was an egregious clerical error, the official autopsy results prove that the fire was the cause of death..." "A fire started by Ms. Keating in her own home." "And the only person to refute the findings was one of her own students who we now know has a history of perjury." "And let's not forget the evidence against Ms. Keating, that Mr. Gibbins was about to take an immunity deal incriminating her." "Ms. Keating instructed Mr. Gibbins to go to her house hours before he was killed." "Then she erased her cellphone?" "We even have an anonymous source who's willing to testify as to her motives." "Whose identity is still being hidden from us." "We will reveal the identity as we get closer to the trial." "Either way, this case deserves to go before a jury." "At the very least, we owe that to Mr. Gibbins." "Jacobs:" "There's no need to delay my decision." "Your Honor, I urge you to take more time with the facts of this hearing." "More time won't change my decision." "While it's true that A.D.A. Atwood engaged in heinous misconduct, it doesn't cancel out the abundance of evidence against Ms. Keating." "Defense's motion to dismiss is denied." "[Gavel bangs]" "[Spectators murmur]" "Well, that was a big waste of time." "You think?" "[Handcuffs click]" "I'm sorry." "[Knock on door]" "Not now, Janice." "[Door opens]" "It's not Janice." "Why are you here, Mr. Walsh?" "I want Wes' immunity deal." " Connor?" "[Sighs]" " He's probably just dropping a mean one in the bathroom." "Or he just finally went to Russia." "Okay, you do not still get to be mad at him." "Oh, I get to be mad at him for the rest of my life." " He's not in there." " [Sighs]" "Please don't do this." "Please." "Please." "Please. [Sighs]" " Hey." " Connor?" " Where the hell is he?" " Where the hell are you?" "Denver's office." "What?" "I'll file for bifurcation from Frank first thing tomorrow." "Wait for me in your car." "Tell him he has to get out of there!" "God!" "Are you insane?" "!" "Don't worry." "I'm gonna fix this." "How?" "By telling the truth..." "That Laurel told my story." "No, Connor..." "It's the least I can do at this point." "No, it's the dumbest thing you can do at this point." "All he's gonna do is think that you're lying..." "O-or worse, that you're a suspect!" "Don't worry." "I'm getting an immunity deal." "He's having it drafted right now." "So, he's not there?" " No." " Then leave, please." "We all get it now, that you feel bad, even Laurel." "Say you're not mad at him." "I forgive you, Connor." "So, please, Connor, just come home!" "Atwood went to New York for a job interview." "♪ We see ♪ ♪ Sister ♪" "And you believe her?" " ♪ Mind the flag ♪" " I do." "Now I don't know if I believe you." "Excuse me?" "After everything I've done to you, said to you... ♪ We see ♪ ♪ Sister ♪" "Still meeting me in cars, helping me... ♪ Mind the flag ♪" "It's hard for me to believe you're not part of all this." "You're being scapegoated, and I see it with my own eyes." "That's why I'm helping you." "I'm calling the mystery phone number." "You hear that, Connor?" "I'm gonna call, and Sylvia or Charles or one of the Mahoneys are gonna pick up, and then we're gonna find out how stupid your plan is." "Michaela:" "No, yo plan is stupid!" " I'm calling." " Tell him to hang up." "Like, what is wrong with you?" "Seriously, you're gonna get us all arrested!" " Give me the phone!" " Move!" "[Cellphone vibrates]" " Put the phone down!" " Hang up the phone, Asher." "[Vibrating continues]" "♪ We buried the meat ♪" "♪ For mama ♪" " [Vibrating continues]" " Annalise:" "Denver." "He's been gunning for me ever since the Hapstall case, Sinclair." "I strong-armed him into closing the case." "This is such a reach, Annalise." "No." "What's a reach is you prosecuting me..." "Annalise:" "And Atwood would have to do whatever he said." "It's him." "Hello?" "Connor?" "It's Denver's phone." "It was here in his desk." " Hang up the phone!" " Tell him to get out of there!" "[Door opens]" "♪ We see ♪ ♪ Sister ♪" "♪ Everything ♪ ♪ Mind the flag ♪" "[Bone cracks]" "Laurel:" "Annalise?" "Annalise, are you here?" "Connor: [Echoing] There was gas!" "I smelled gas." "Whoever killed him cut the gas line." "♪ We buried the meat ♪" "Laurel: [Echoing] I saw someone there..." " They ran out of the storm door." " [Door slams]" "♪ Everything ♪ ♪ Mind the flag ♪" "♪ We see ♪ ♪ Sister ♪" "♪ Rotate ♪" "It's me." "We have a little problem." "Yeah." "But it got kind of messy." "♪ Everything ♪ ♪ Rotate ♪"

"Good evening." "Welcome to Have I Got News For You," "I'm David Mitchell." "In the news this week - in the middle of the Twitter storm over Calais," "BBC Breakfast's Naga Munchetty shows her support for Gary Lineker." "LAUGHTER" "After a crate of Prozac washes up on a beach, conservationists are concerned over its possible effect on local wildlife." "And in Moscow, a KGB target survives an unusually subtle assassination attempt." "On Ian's team tonight is a TV presenter and stand-up from New Zealand who described the audience of her first-ever Edinburgh Festival show as "full of drunk, angry Scottish men"." "Well, if you insist on doing a morning show..." "Please welcome Rose Matafeo." "APPLAUSE" "And with Paul tonight is a Labour MP who recently resigned from the Shadow Cabinet and says that" ""In election terms, Labour is not match-ready."" "Unlike the bonfire in his garden with an effigy of Jeremy Corbyn on top." "Please welcome Chris Bryant MP." "APPLAUSE" "And we start with the bigger stories of the week." "Paul and Chris, take a look at this." "Well, that looks like Heathrow." "This is a bulldozer that Boris Johnson is obviously going to" " lie in front of, as he promised." " Oh, no, he's driving it." "He's looking for Michael Gove now, I think." "That is Zac Goldsmith with a crab." "And...those are some weird people outside the Palace of Varieties." " So, yes..." " Good news." "Good news for people who live near Gatwick." "I looked at all the arguments and they are quite complex for should it be Heathrow or somewhere else?" "And Boris has promised to lie in front of a bulldozer if it's Heathrow." "So it's gotta be Heathrow, really." "LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE" "So this is the final, final decision, is it?" "There's going to be legal objections, though." "People are going to fight this." "It's not a forgone conclusion at the moment." "Yes, there's going to be legal objections and also," "MPs get to vote on it next year." "Oh, really, we get to vote on something(?" ")" "It'll probably just be, MPs get to chat about it, like Philip Green's knighthood." "Are you trying to suggest that politicians have no real value in society?" "Bit early for that." "We'll do that later." "There are other objections - environmental objections, and it might not happen." "It's got to meet all these requirements." "But aren't they European requirements?" " So that's not really going to be..." " No, that's not a problem." "The aeroplanes have to go from here to somewhere." " So it might still be a European thing." " Oh, yes, absolutely." "It might just be internal flights after Brexit." "I don't think anyone's going anywhere and they're certainly not coming here!" "Depends how big it is." "Maybe you get a flight from Terminal 6 to Terminal 1." "If the runway's long enough, they don't even have to take off." " Well, it's going to be a ramp, isn't it?" " A ramp?" "!" "It's an amazing design, isn't it?" "The idea we're going to have a runway and suddenly it's announced they're not going to put the M25 in a tunnel," " they're going to put the runway on a bridge over the M25." " Yeah." "Why wasn't it more part of the discussion that there wasn't room for the runway inside the M25?" "You'd think that would be a real clincher for Gatwick." "Can I be narrowly parochial for a moment?" " Oh, God, is this the Rhondda?" " Yes, it is." "I'm sorry!" "Just for the rest of the country," "I think you'll find that Gatwick's really on the wrong side of London." "It's the right side of London for most of the rest of the world." "LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE" "How much do you think we'll make from it, financially?" " Bazillions." " Sorry, how many?" " Bazillions." "I thought you said Brazilians!" "It was just a random thought, you were sitting there..." "We'll be rich enough for every citizen to get a free waxing." "Whether they want it or not." "It's the future for our economy." "We'll be the waxing hub of the world." "We could become the rip-off merchants of the world." "LAUGHTER AND GROANING" "You'll all be using it tomorrow." "You're getting it now." "Some of you saw it on Teletext at the bottom, didn't you?" "Who's the guy with the crab?" " Zac Goldsmith." " I don't know why I did that." " Zac Goldsmith?" " Yeah." " OK." "And he has...resigned?" "No?" "Yeah?" "He has resigned." "Cos his constituency elected him on the grounds there wouldn't be a third runway at Heathrow." " Right." " So he's resigned." " OK." " He tried to be Mayor of London." " Yes, OK." "So now he has a lot more time to catch up on all the Bollywood films he hasn't seen, right?" " Ah, you got that?" " I did get that, that is the worst." "I've seen 100% more Bollywood films than him." "Which is one." "He's running as an independent, right?" "But because politics in this country is so mad, the Conservative Party's not going to stand against him." "The slightly weird thing is that Ukip aren't standing against him either, because Nigel Farage is now backing him." "I don't know how Nigel Farage has got time out from supporting" "Donald Trump in the United States of America..." "He can really pick 'em, can't he?" "Trump." "Zac." "God!" "Do you reckon Zac's just like, "Nige, no!"" "Yes, Boris has been vocal against it." "Has he resigned, too?" "No." "Has he not?" "!" "He's written a couple of pieces, one pro..." "LAUGHTER" "Didn't David Cameron say that it was in their manifesto?" "It was kind of, "No ifs, no buts, there will not be a third runway,"" " as well?" " Yes, he did, yeah." " Yeah." "Unfortunately, the time for blaming him for everything has come to an end." " Not really." " I think we should extend it." "Listen, I'm still blaming Mrs Thatcher for an awful lot." "It's just kind of quicker, you just get right in there." "People can agree on blaming someone who's no longer at all relevant." "Or alive." "Has David Cameron died?" "!" "No, I didn't hear the good news!" "Oh." "No, I don't hope David Cameron's dead." "I just wouldn't mind if he did." ""We interrupt this programme..."" ""There's been a chillaxing accident in Cornwall."" "He relaxed so much his whole bowel fell out." "What have the Dutch been sending to Heathrow every year for the last five years?" "Dutch people." "Liquorice." "No." "It's a foodstuff, though." " Oh?" " Guinea pig." "I suppose, in a way, it's a foodstuff once slaughtered." "Cheese." "It must be cheese." "Cheese is a foodstuff even when not slaughtered." "No, it's cake." " Cake." " Cake." "Schiphol Airport have been sending Heathrow a cake every year, thanking them for the delay in expanding, as every delay helps promote Schiphol as an alternative European hub." "According to the Telegraph, the latest cake from Schiphol was a fine one..." "Oh, that's disgusting." "They are endangered birds, OK?" "I thought it was actual people on the cake!" "This is the news that the Government has given the go-ahead for a third runway at Heathrow, ending half a century of delay." "Boris Johnson is on record as saying that if a third runway at Heathrow went ahead, he would lie down in front of the bulldozers." "I think the only word of that that any of us believe is "lie"." "The row over Heathrow may yet prove to be the Government's undoing." "So it's come to this - a two-mile strip of concrete is now providing more opposition than Jeremy Corbyn." "According to the Mail, one consequence of the third runway at Heathrow is that..." "I don't mean to be overly pessimistic, but if it's not opening till 2025, it may not be her problem." "That's an appallingly unpatriotic thought." "I didn't think the day would come when someone on the BBC would assert that the Queen is not immortal." "Ian and Rose, take a look at this." "It's our Prime Minister." "That's the French for "get lost"!" "Trying to do a dad joke in Parliament, there we go." "No." "That's Juncker." "Oh, in, out." "Oh." "Pick-up artist, there we go." "Nicola does not understand roulette." "This is about our attempts to forge a new deal in the bright dawn, that is overtaking the country, even as we speak." "You see?" "I'm not a boring Remoaner." "I'm being positive." "There are things that are cheery." "LAUGHTER" "It was slightly sad that our Prime Minister went over to the EU meeting and was only allowed in at one o'clock in the morning to make a five-minute speech at dinner." "And apparently she was met in dead silence, and then she left again." "Do you know what Jean-Claude Juncker had to say after that?" "Someone from the BBC said, you know," ""What do you think about Theresa May?"" "And he went, "Pfff."" " We have that clip..." " Oh, good." " ..in fact, it's worth seeing." "Mr Juncker, Ros Atkins, BBC News." "Good to see you again." " How did the evening go with Theresa May?" " Pfff." "It's quite a catchphrase, actually." "You nailed that, as well!" "Yeah, no, I've been watching him for years. "Pfff!"" "Do you think he thinks he's got one of those, you know," "Christmassy things that you blow and go, "Parp!"" "in his mouth, and just forgot to put it in?" "He's been trying to come out all jolly, "Parp!"" "and went, "Pff!"" "Oh, forgot again!" "But I'm amazed she managed to fill the five minutes." "Because she says she doesn't want to keep up a running commentary on what the policy is, or plan, or strategy..." "There could be a reason for that." " Cos there ain't one." " ROSE:" " Yeah." "She keeps on saying she doesn't want to show her hand." "But, like, in poker, you can't, like, just pretend there are cards in your hand." "I mean, you can't just be like," ""I've got a good one here." "Watch out!"" " CHRIS:" " And she keeps on saying," ""We're going for the best possible deal."" "And basically, she's not going to say what she wants because she knows that whatever deal she's got at the end will have been the best possible deal that she could have possibly got." " So she's saying, "Just see what happens..."" " Yeah." ""..because that's what I'm going to do."" "LAUGHTER" ""By the way, if you're a room full of bankers," ""I'm quite happy to come along and tell you exactly what I'm about."" "Well, yes." "This week, she suffered an embarrassing bit of leakage, didn't she?" "A recording of a secret speech that Theresa gave to Goldman Sachs bankers a month before the referendum was leaked to the Guardian." "In it, she warned that companies would leave the UK if the country voted for Brexit, and that the country would be less safe outside the EU." "But why is it..." "She was against Brexit, so why is it a big deal that it turns out she meant that?" "Cos she was a bit half-hearted, and there were other people in other parties," " weren't there, Chris, who were..." " A BIT half-hearted?" " She wasn't a BIT half-hearted, she..." " No, I was thinking of Jeremy." "I'm still talking about Theresa May, I think you'll find." "Let's stick with Theresa May." " Was she more or less half-hearted than Jeremy Corbyn?" " Yes." "These politicians!" " OK." "Was...?" " I gave you a direct answer!" "It was a yes-no question, I gave a..." " Yeah." "OK." "I'm wise to this." " All right." " Was she more half-hearted than Jeremy Corbyn?" " Yes." "Oh, so you like Jeremy Corbyn?" "He's leading Labour into the wilderness, you fool!" "He came up with a joke, though, at Question Time." "Oh, yeah." "It was kind of awkward, though, that joke, wasn't it?" "Was very, just, like, dad joke-y." " What was it?" " He said that, like Baldrick," "Mrs May has got a cunning plan but it isn't a plan." " ROSE:" " And then she came back to him and was like," ""Well, the guy who played him was Labour!"" "That's exactly what she said, right?" "The thing about her is, she's very..." "She doesn't believe in Brexit." "People thought maybe secretly she believed in Brexit, and so it's OK for her to lead a government that's doing Brexit." "Maybe she's changed her mind." "Or maybe she doesn't care what the Government does." "She just wants to be Prime Minister of it." " Ah." " So she'll do, you know..." "Well, at least she's not like Jeremy in that sense, cos he certainly doesn't want to be Prime Minister." "Or maybe not." "You know, they're the perfect opponents, aren't they?" "The person that will be Prime Minister of ANY government..." " And the one who'll be Prime Minister of none." " Yeah!" "If Labour wins, she could say," ""Jeremy, don't worry, I'll be Prime..." " "I'll just do the Labour stuff!"" " Yeah!" ""I didn't believe in Brexit, I did the Brexit stuff." "I can do it all." ""I'm a session musician politician."" "So far, we've had hard Brexit, soft Brexit, smooth Brexit, proper Brexit." "My personal favourite, dirty Brexit." "How does Nicola Sturgeon like her Brexit?" "Continental." "No, she wants a flexi-Brexit that would keep Scotland in the single market, even if the rest of the UK left." "The Sun and the Mail spotted a sure sign that Sturgeon meant business at the meeting." "What was that?" "Shoes." "It was about shoes." "It's got to be shoes, hasn't it?" "It was about shoes." "According to the Sun, Sturgeon tried..." "Here they are." "Whereas the Mail reported..." "So, snakeskin or crocodile?" "This can only mean, that for once, either the Sun or the Mail has got its facts wrong." "And there are also signs she was trying to do" "Theresa May's famous power stance." " Oh, no." " She didn't quite get it right." "Come on, Theresa, show her how it's done." "LAUGHTER" "Very nice." "What has Theresa promised the devolved governments' leaders to help keep them sweet?" "A say." "Oh, God, no!" "No, no, no." "You're going to have to think of the most worthless gesture imaginable." "George Osborne?" "She's..." "Why might they have to watch what they say when speaking to him on the Brexit Hotline?" "Is it bugged?" "Yes, apparently Davis has been warned that all of the other 27 EU governments are spying on him and intercepting his calls in an attempt to discover his strategy for Brexit." "It's really amazing they think he's got one." "LAUGHTER" "Not much cooperation if all 27 countries are spying on him." "Can't they just get together in some sort of union and decide, "You do it"?" "How has Michael Gove been trying to worm his way into her affections this week?" "Well, he gave an interview on The World Today," " in which she said she was marvellous." " Yes." "He said he was in... ..with much of what the Prime Minister has said so far, and added that she's carrying out her role..." "Well, talk about damning with faint praise!" "How did Gove respond to questions about his betrayal of David Cameron over Europe?" "He said he didn't stab him in the back." "I think he stabbed him in the ankle or something." "I can't remember, what did he say?" "Well, what I've got him as having said is..." "Which is very good of him, as the stabber." "Stab." "I forgive you." "LAUGHTER" "He gave an interview, probably two weeks ago, in which he said," ""My judgment on all sorts of issues in the entire period" ""was completely faulty."" "And now he's been put onto a committee to look into Brexit." "Why should we listen to anything Gove says?" "Sorry, rhetorical questions are very boring." "Because there's something magnetic about his loathsomeness." "LAUGHTER" "And he's the sort of person, you know, in a Bond film, he'd be really watchable, and then there'd be a great bit where he is dissolved in acid." "Who other than Gove has been singing Theresa's praises this week?" "Oh, gosh..." "It was the respected author and journalist Hunter Davies." " Did you hear about this?" " No." "This is quite a quote." "He said..." "What, these guys?" "LAUGHTER" "LAUGHTER" "LAUGHTER" "I suppose number three looks a bit, you know, interested." "This is the news that Brexit will make us less attractive to foreign investors, less wealthy and less safe." "That's according to Theresa May, five months ago, speaking at Goldman Sachs." "According to a poll quote in the Sun, 47% would still back Leave in another referendum..." "Ah, yes, fluctuations." "One day it's down, the next day it plummets, the next day it's merely down again!" "According to the Daily Telegraph," "Microsoft is set to increase its prices by 22%..." "Makes a nice change for Microsoft to look at something and say," ""Oh, no, it's crashed!"" "And so on to Round Two." "And as Halloween season enters its fourth week and we cover ourselves in spray-on cobwebs out of respect for our American trading partners, let's enter into the spirit of it with the Haunted House of News." "Fingers on buzzers." "See if you can guess what's scaring you." "EERIE MUSIC PLAYS" "MAN SCREAMS" "BUZZER" "Oh, no, don't buzz, it means we'll have to talk about it." "That's just a..." "It's a wonderful fantasy creation." "The legs of a woman, and the head of an Oxford English Dictionary." "What more could anyone want?" "So this is a book that's literally been walking out of the shops, is that what we're seeing here?" " Oh, is it Essex women?" " That's it, yes." "The term "Essex girl" is in the dictionary." "And this is the news that two girls from Essex are trying to get that term removed." "Collins defines it as..." " Doesn't seem too bad." " That's all right." "Why would anyone have a problem with that(?" ")" "And according to Natasha Sawkins and Juliet Thomas, who are behind the campaign..." "Not heard that one before." "I just love this idea of them complaining." "Does Neanderthal man have a say?" "Does he say, "I think I've been ridiculously stereotyped"?" "Yes, but he's not really around any more, whereas women from Essex might consider that if they're born in the county of Essex, they shouldn't all be stigmatised" " with the same stereotype." " You're probably right." "You can't libel the dead, let alone the extinct." "Don't tell me about libel, Mitchell." "I'm giving you a tip!" "Say what you like about Neanderthals." "Why can't they just take it out?" " Because who's campaigning to keep that in?" " It would be..." "It's not how things work, is it?" "It's in the dictionary because it's a term people use." "And if people started taking..." "People might think," ""Can we take the word 'poo' out of the dictionary?" ""It's not very nice, poo, is it?" ""You know, I don't really want to be reminded of poo."" "Then you just have a dictionary that's got nice words, like "peacefully" and "flower"." "Who's come out in support of Juliet and Natasha's campaign?" "The Archbishop of Canterbury." "No, it was in fact a star of Ian's favourite show," "Gemma Collins." "Here she is." "It is absolutely outrageous in today's society that the dictionary, which..." "I'm a massive fan of the dictionary." "We should be, like, promoting the dictionary anyway because, like, it is such an amazing, like, historical British thing, isn't it?" "Every story ever written's in the dictionary." "You've just got to put the words in the right order." "All there!" "This is the story about two ladies from Essex who want the term "Essex girls"" "scrubbed from the Oxford English Dictionary." "The main thing about this story is it gives the Sun the chance to recycle some old Essex girl jokes, including..." "That's interesting." "The label in my pants says" ""D Mitchell, class 5C"." "I've never lost a single pair." "Fingers on buzzers, teams." "What horror is this?" "EERIE MUSIC PLAYS" "MAN SCREAMS" "BUZZER" " CHRIS:" " This is the Ed Stone, the heaviest suicide note in history." "Which, bizarrely, considering how much money we spent on it, looks as if it's made of foam and somebody forgot to put it on the return of election expenses and so the Labour Party has been fined." "Yes, you were quite right." "The Ed Stone was quite expensive." "Do you know what it cost, exactly?" "The general election." "APPLAUSE" "Yes, it was..." "Labour say they did originally get a receipt from the stonemason's, but it was too heavy to get in the car." "The Spectator quoted a source as saying that when the image of the stone first appeared on TV..." "I wonder if he had any inkling that that wasn't the low point for Labour." "Do you think Ed took too much flak for losing that election, Chris?" "He's a good man." " You can tell you were a vicar." " Bless you, my child." " Thank you." "I'm not so sure you could quite so easily tell you were a vicar" " when you said about Ed..." " Oh, yes?" "He's a very modern vicar." "That was the night of Brexit." "I was very, very upset about Brexit." "Chris, how much do you blame Corbyn for the referendum result?" "You even thought Corbyn voted Leave, didn't you?" "I think a lot of the arguments that Jeremy put helped the Leave campaign." "Do you still think..." " As you said." " Well, everything's to..." "The Labour Party's got to be mended, that's the truth, and I don't like Mrs May and the way she's leading the country, so I hope that Labour can pull itself together." "That's definitely not a straight answer." "That was about as skew-whiff an answer as I could possibly give." "AUDIENCE MEMBER GUFFAWS" "Oh, Jeremy's in!" "I think people know you think Jeremy Corbyn's an idiot." "You've said it so many times." "Why stop now?" "There's plenty of people who move in and out of the Shadow Cabinet, and they've said even worse things than Chris has," " so don't try and restrict his future career..." " No, no." "..just by trying to get him to confirm what he's already said many times is pretty underhand." "Leave him alone." "I'm a bit worried that Ian Hislop is supporting me." " I'm not!" " No..." "Yes, this is the news that Labour has been fined for failing to declare a string of election expenses, including the cost of Ed Miliband's so-called Ed Stone." "Here is the notorious object of ridicule... standing next to his disastrous stone." "Since Ed Miliband's defeat, the Ed Stone has reportedly been destroyed and broken into pieces." "As has the Labour Party." "Fingers on buzzers, teams." "Here's your next nightmare." "EERIE MUSIC PLAYS" "MAN SCREAMS" "BUZZER" "They've discovered a snail who goes the wrong way round." "Cos all snails' whorls go clockwise." "This one goes anticlockwise." "Why is it wearing a hat?" "He's become a bit of a celebrity and doesn't want to be photographed!" "Yes, he's absolutely right." "This is the news that a one-in-a-million snail has been found with a rare mutation that makes him a leftie, as his shell spirals the wrong way." "What do you think the leftie's been called?" "Jeremy." " Correct." "ROSE:" " Huh!" "And why is it causing trouble?" "Because it's in the dictionary, and a number of snails have objected." "I don't know how much you know about the mating practices of snails." "So I'll flatter you and assume it's not very much." "As I understand it, snails have their genitalia on the right, and sort of slide against each other." "As Jeremy is topsy-turvy, he can only indulge in what scientists term the dry hump, so needs another one-in-a-million lefty to get intimate." "The Telegraph had a helpful diagram." "But why might it not be the end of the world if Jeremy doesn't find love, according to Dr Angus Davison?" "Because he's a snail, and we don't care." "There's lots of other snails around?" "Well, yeah..." "There's not a big snail problem, is there?" "They're not an endangered species." "The problem is quite easily solved, because, as Jeremy is a hermaphrodite, he can reproduce without a mate, but..." "LAUGHTER" "In other news, what's this woman doing?" "She's trying to surprise a Yorkshire terrier because the kitchen's been redecorated and he doesn't know." "Mary Burgess is the woman." "She's a dog hypnotist." "What will she do for 60 quid?" "LAUGHTER" "Take your poodle back to a previous life?" "Yeah, basically." "An hour's hypnosis with naughty dogs." "She puts them in a trance and persuades them to behave better." "Her techniques include..." "I think that would work on me, to be fair!" "And, finally, what do you think dogs dream about?" "Running through the fields, their hair brushing against the tops of dandelions, as they sniff the sea air..." " It's a very small dog." " Well, yeah." "Could be running in a trench." "They probably dream about you, if you're their owner, that is." "The reason we know this is thanks to Dr Deirdre Barrett from Harvard Medical School." "She said they're dreaming about..." "Of course, sometimes they must be dreaming about chasing things likes cats and rabbits, as we can see from this classic clip." "I imagine that dog has an active inner life." "Is that your dog dreaming about you?" "Yes, cos I chase my dog(!" ")" " Do you?" " No." "I haven't got a dog." "Not now you've chased him away." "Time now for the Odd One Out round." "Ian and Rose, your four are..." "Larry the Downing Street Cat." "Napoleon Bonaparte." "Michael Heseltine." "And Italian Prime Minister Matteo Renzi." "Larry had a fight in Downing Street." "With another cat." " With..." " You're getting warm." " With a cat called Palmerston." " That's right." "Napoleon and Lord Palmerston?" "Was there a problem there?" " No." " No." " You're right with fight." " Had a fight." " But you want to move away from Lord Palmerston." "No, I don't, I love Lord..." "I'm sorry." "Did the other guys have a fight?" "There was a story this week..." "Michael Heseltine..." "And he was declaring he'd shot a load of bats, or birds, or badgers, or starlings..." " Yeah, this is all in the right area." " ..rhinos." " Yeah." "Combat with birds!" "The Italian Prime Minister's the odd one out because he said to the pigeons of Rome, "You've got an amnesty," ""nobody'll kill you, we'll look after you."" " You've got the right answer but for the wrong reason." " Ah." " It's they've all fought with animals..." " Yes." "..apart from the Italian Prime Minister, Matteo Renzi who had to deny fighting a fish at the G20 summit." "The Chinese president had taken a group of leaders, including Renzi and Theresa May, on a night-time cruise on a nearby lake, as a cultural outing, when it was reported that..." "According to the Sun, Renzi..." "A spokesman for Renzi's office, on the other hand, denied that the PM had kicked the fish, explaining..." "He avoided it with his shoe." "Larry the Downing Street cat, he's recently had a fight with Palmerston, the Foreign Office cat." " Whoa!" " Yeah!" "How has Theresa May settled in with Larry?" "She's wearing him as a coat." "More like shoes!" "Kitten heels!" "AUDIENCE GROAN" " She's not that keen on Larry." " No." "She said in an interview with The Times..." "And they had to dream about her." "Yeah." "Maybe that's her dog trying to run through a wall." "Napoleon." "Do you know Napoleon's animal scuffle story?" "It's after he signed the Treaty of Tilsit in 1807, he was encouraged to do some celebratory rabbit shooting in a park with friends and colleagues." " How many rabbits do you think were laid on for him to shoot?" " 75." " Higher." " 175." " HIGH-PITCHED:" " 75." "APPLAUSE" "It was 1,000." "The Napoleonic general, Paul Thiebault, who was there, said the rabbits..." "And..." "They also... ..and forced Napoleon..." "More than the Austrian Army could do." "Michael Heseltine has admitted to killing 400 grey squirrels in his garden in just nine months." "He said..." "He wants to watch that that doesn't get taken out of context." "Could end up with a job in the Cabinet." "Yes, they have all fought with animals apart from Italian Prime Minister Matteo Renzi who had to deny fighting a fish at the G20 summit." "Theresa May was shocked to be confronted by the slippery, thick-lipped, clammy, glass-eyed creature." "She didn't think Michael Gove had been invited." "The Heseltines occasionally open their gardens to the public, where it's been revealed..." "It's not entirely clear why the squirrels were killed, but the gift shop has got 200 pairs of novelty slippers." "According to one report of Napoleon's rabbit scuffle..." "To which the surgeon general at Paris AE replied," ""If you say so Monsieur Bonaparte, I'm not here to judge."" "Paul and Chris, here are yours." " Robert Mugabe." "Ines de Castro, Queen Consort of Portugal." " Yes." "Brendan Cole and David Gest." "First of all, the one I would know most about would be Brendan Cole, he's in Strictly Come Dancing." "He wasn't in the last week, because he was ill with something." "They reported that he was dead, didn't they?" "On Twitter and Facebook and stuff, which was obviously wrong, inaccurate." "Ah." "Maybe it's about that, then." "And who is the woman at the top, she's Portuguese nobility?" "No, that's Mugabe." "LAUGHTER" "Yes, Ines de Castro, Queen Consort of Portugal." "Was she reported dead and she wasn't?" "And Mugabe, there have been rumours of his death." " You're in the right area." " But David Gest is actually..." "Or is he?" "David Gest is now dead." "I'll give you a clue, so is Ines de Castro, Queen Consort of Portugal." "LAUGHTER" "Queen Ines de Castro is the odd one out, because they were all rumoured to be dead apart from her, but she attended her own Coronation, even though she really was dead." "SILENCE" "Whoa..." "This is like it's news just in, and it happened in the 14th century!" "We didn't even know she was ill!" " Yeah, how did..." " It's been a shock to some of us." "It's a very sad story." "Ines arrived in Portugal in 1340 to be lady-in-waiting to her cousin, who was due to marry the heir to the throne Dom Pedro." "But when Dom Pedro set eyes on Ines, he fell desperately in love with her instead." "Dom Pedro eventually married Ines, against his father King Alfonso's wishes." "So the King had assassins brutally murder Ines in front of their children." "I think that was the plot in last week's Hollyoaks." "Pedro eventually became king, so what did he do with his dead wife's body?" "He made her attend the coronation." "Yeah." "Dead." "He dug her up, dressed her in royal robes and propped her up in the throne room." "The king ordered that nobility of the kingdom to pledge their obedience and loyalty to the Queen corpse and demanded that they kiss her dead hand." "AUDIENCE:" "Oh..." "That's a re-enactment." "LAUGHTER" "But the other three were all rumoured dead and weren't dead." "Rumours started circulating that" "Robert Mugabe had died when a plane he was on was diverted to Dubai when he has previously received medical attention." "He explained..." "Yes, once the stake has been removed from your heart." "What has Mugabe recently been criticised for?" "Everything." "Specific, recent criticism of many is as Zimbabwe suffers its worst economic crisis ever" "Mugabe unveiled a 12-foot high statue of himself." "Let's have a look." "He doesn't seem chuffed about it." "Well, look at it." "LAUGHTER" "According to the Telegraph, he said, on seeing the work by local sculptor Dominic Benhura..." "LAUGHTER" "Start the car, Dominic." "LAUGHTER" " And David Gest." " Yes." "American reality TV star Tiffany Pollard got the wrong end of the stick when fellow contestant on Big Brother Angie Bowie told her..." "..when she was actually talking about her ex husband, the late David Bowie." "David Gest was just asleep at that point." "And Brendan Cole, do you know about the rumours of his death?" " Yes, so he was on Strictly, he's - on" " Strictly and he was ill, so he wasn't able to partner Anastasia at the weekend." "Yes, Brendan, he pulled out of Saturday' performance, due to a lung infection, which led to the daily Star cautiously concluding..." "How did Brendan react?" " "Am I?" "!"" " And tweeted..." "LAUGHTER" "Incidentally, the BBC would like to make it absolutely clear " "Brendan Cole is not dead." "Only behind the eyes." "Ed Balls managed to survive another week." "But what did he fail to do?" "You must have seen this." "Dance." "There was a lift that went horribly wrong." "It was going wrong in instalments, really." " Have we got it?" " We have." "Let's have a look." "SONG: (Is This The Way To) Amarillo" "AUDIENCE CHEERS, THEN GASPS" "Yes." "But he must win!" "He must win!" "Labour's got to win something this year!" "You could spend 1,000 years trying to choreograph something that amusing." "The moment with the real jeopardy, and the moment when he has to grab her boob." "It's either that or she smashes her skull on the floor." "Yes, they've all been rumoured to be dead apart from Ines de Castro, Queen Consort of Portugal, who, in 1357, attended her own coronation, even though she really was dead." "Her body was dug up, sewn back together, covered in powder and face paint, clad in finery and presented to the nation in a grotesque spectacle." "Just like Sharon Osbourne on the X Factor." "Time now for the missing words round, which this week features as its guest publication..." " Yes!" " Uh-huh." " ..and publications of the slide-rule circle." "I get this." "I get this one." "A good magazine but all of its readers are calculating bastards." "We start with..." " Mates with Jeremy the snail?" " Yeah." " Oh..." ""I love the way your circles go the other way."" "It's in fact..." "Here he is in action." "LAUGHTER" "I always wondered why people are filming these incidents before they happen." "Maybe it's part of an experiment or something." "Is it an experiment to see whether frogs can..." " Do you think they got him drunk?" " Pick the pissed frog?" "See that's what they do in laboratories, isn't it?" "Let's get all the frogs drunk." "Next..." "Um..." "I've no idea what a slide rule is, so..." "It's the thing you used to calculate on before calculators." "OK, and calculators were before phones?" "Turn to the centrefold." " Yeah." " Turn to the centrefold immediately for further guidance." "It is..." "People who use slide-rules always felt superior to those who used calculators." "Fine, but if you turn a slide-rule upside down, you can't get it to make the word "boobies"." "Next..." " High self esteem." " SNIGGERING" "Is it bringing your top lip over your head and using it as a bathing cap?" "It's..." "Here's what it looks like." " Oh, that's rather good." " So..." " Uh, well..." " I don't know." " In what sense is that a living plant?" "It's a succulent." "It looks like a fungal infection that's really gone to work." "Anyway, now you can say it with flowers." "And finally..." "Dave." "I beg your pardon?" "BBC Parliament!" "See how you like it, yeah?" "LAUGHTER" "Nothing wrong with Dave." "A new streaming video service, Napflix, aims to lull viewers to sleep by streaming the least thrilling footage they can find." "Programmes will include the 1964 documentary..." " Now available as a box set." " Oh-ho-ho!" "Boom, boom!" "The final scores are Ian and Rose have 4 points," " but Paul and Chris are the winners with - 9." "Wahey!" " Oh, well done." "Thank you, thank you." "I'm so sorry, Ian." "And I leave you with news that, in Liverpool, on John McDonnell's orders, a security dog sinks its teeth into a rival's backside." "After a fleet of Russian warships is spotted in the English Channel," "Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson issues an immediate response." "And as auditions begin for a remake of the film" "Tarka The Otter, one young hopeful waits to see if he's got the part." "Goodnight."

"I'm here in Pasadena with the NASA Mission Control team as they celebrate scientific history." "The first close-up photographs of Mars from the Viking Observer spacecraft." "Photos that have created a stir by revealing surprising geologic information." "The presence of large amounts of water locked in Mars' polar ice caps." "Water that some speculate could have possibly sustained life on the planet." "Even more controversial is one image of a land formation." "A formation that looks like a sculpted human face." "However, NASA officials are denying it is an indication of an alien civilisation." "It's no more than a trick of light and shadows." "A geologic anomaly." "The only sculptors at work are the solar winds that blow across the surface of Mars at 300mph, ten months a year." "I'm seeing..." "I've got..." "How's it going out there?" " There's something out here!" " Can you repeat that, Commander Belt?" "It's coming at me!" "Holy God!" "Pickup terminal sequence." "Booster hydraulic power units on." "This is Shuttle Launch Control." "T minus one minute, 15 seconds." " OTC to CDR, how do you read?" " Loud and clear, OVCC." " Go ahead." " Roger that." "OVCC verified." " Port setup, 2.0." " Copy setup. 2.0." "CDR Houston, how do you read?" "Loud and clear." "Side hatch closeout and white room configuration complete." "Retracting orbiter arm." " OMS pressure on." "Cabin vent complete." " Roger." "We see that." "All systems go for APU start." "Transfer to internal power." "Pre-start complete." "APU to inhibit." "Oxygen vent hood retracted." "External tank is at flight pressure." "Lock your visors and initiate your O2 flow." " Y'all have a good trip." " Roger that." "T minus 20 seconds and counting." "Go for auto-sequence start." "Booster hydraulic units have started." "T minus 10..." "Nine..." "Eight..." "Seven..." "Six..." "Five..." "Four..." "Three..." "Abort liftoff." "Abort liftoff." "System failure." "Abort." "Repeat." "We have an abort liftoff at Tminus three seconds." "What did the note say?" "That they worked for NASA and wanted to talk to somebody from the fbi." " Why the cloak-and-dagger routine?" " l have no idea." " Think it's a crank?" " lt's beginning to look that way." " My name is Michelle Generoo." " Fox Mulder." "I sent you the note." "Hi." "Special Agent Dana Scully." "I'm sorry to have to take these precautions." "I flew up from Houston this morning." " l work at the Space Center there." " ln what capacity?" "I'm the Mission Control communications commander for the Shuttle Space Program." "What brings you to Washington?" "I have reason to believe a saboteur may be at work inside NASA." " You have evidence of sabotage?" " l don't know. I may." "Two weeks ago, a shuttle mission was scrubbed three seconds before liftoff when an auxiliary power unit valve malfunctioned." "If the flight had not been aborted, the orbiter would have exploded on the launch pad." "This was sent to me in the mail." "It's a material analysis that shows deep, grooved scoring marks inside this APU valve." "Marks that could have caused a malfunction." " Evidence of tampering?" " That's what it looks like but..." "The person who gave me your names said you are experts in unexplained phenomena." "It's unexplainable how and when anybody could've done it." " How do you mean?" " The valve is made of ferrocarbon titanium." "To score it would take extreme temperatures." "Launch pad temperatures." "Anyone at NASA would say it would be impossible for anyone to do that type of damage undetected." " Any idea who may have sent that to you?" " No." "No idea." "But the official analysis of the malfunction was simple mechanical failure." " Does anybody share your suspicions?" " lf they do, they're not talking to the fbi." "I believe in the Space Program." "I believe in the people who run it." "But there's another launch window tomorrow." "And my reasons may sound selfish, but my fiancé is the shuttle commander on that mission." "Why would somebody sabotage the space shuttle?" "If you're a terrorist, it's a potent symbol of American progress and prosperity." "If you're an opponent of big science, NASA represents a vast money trench that exists outside the crucible of the democratic process." "Then there are futurists who think the shuttle is a rusty old bucket that we should mothball." "A dinosaur spacecraft built in the '70s by scientists setting their sights on space." "And we thought we'd rest easy when the Soviet Union fell." "Not to mention fringe elements who accuse our government itself of space sabotage." "The failure of the Hubble telescope and the Mars Observer connected" " to a conspiracy to deny us evidence." " Evidence of what?" "Alien civilisations." "Oh, of course!" " Wow, look at that!" "Gemini Eight." " What?" "The man we're gonna see, Colonel Marcus Aurelius Belt, nearly died on that mission." "Made an emergency landing in the Pacific Ocean." " You remember all that stuff?" " You never wanted to be an astronaut?" "I guess I missed that phase." "Come in." "Colonel Belt, I'm Special Agent Dana Scully." " And this is..." " Colonel Belt." "Fox Mulder." "I'm a big fan. lt's an honour to meet you." " You were a big hero to me when I was a kid." " Thank you." "I..." "I stayed up all night when I was 14 to watch your space walk." "Well, now it's like a stroll around the block." "So, how can I help you?" "This found its way to the fbi." "Do you recognise it?" "Sure. it's an auxiliary power unit valve." "Do you have any reason to believe it was damaged in an effort to sabotage the Space Program?" "No." " Do you have reason to suspect it at all?" " No reason whatsoever." "If you have any respect for this program and for those who have devoted their lives to it, you'll be careful to whom you make those accusations." "Looking at this evidence, sir, would you consider postponing the shuttle flight until a full investigation could be conducted?" "I don't know where you got this specious artefact, but every precaution has been taken to rectify the problem." "We've waited two weeks for a window to initiate this mission." "We've got a payload to deliver." "Has an internal investigation been done in this matter?" "The part you have here has been installed, inspected and designed by over 100 highly trained technicians." "With the security measures we take, it would be virtually impossible for one man working by himself, or two or four men, to do what you're suggesting." "I can assure you, there's no one in this facility that doesn't want to see that shuttle complete its mission, and come back like Winged Victory herself." "And in about ten hours, God willing, you're gonna see just that." "Do you think there'd be a problem with us watching liftoff from Mission Control?" "Well, being that you'd probably go over my head anyway, please, be my guests." "It was an honour, sir." "Thank you." "Didn't you wanna get his autograph?" "Where did you say you got this?" "It came to us anonymously." "This is an APU valve, all right." "But this doesn't make sense." " What doesn't make sense?" " This scoring here." "This valve was made of ferrocarbon titanium." " You didn't order the analysis?" " No. I've never seen this before." "We're on outside contract to NASA." "They may have ordered it." "But wouldn't you order a material analysis if a part malfunctioned?" "Every shuttle flies with that same APU valve." "To do an analysis and redesign would delay the Program for months." "Not to mention the cost." "is it conceivable that the Program is being pushed ahead without proper safety precaution?" "There are about 17,000 things that can go wrong with the shuttle." "And about 17,000 people who make sure they don't." "Who makes the final determination as to its safety?" "We make a recommendation but the decision is Colonel Belt's." "Thank you." "What do you think?" "I can't believe how much faith we put in machines." "Do you think Colonel Belt lied about his knowledge of a saboteur?" "I can't believe Colonel Belt would endanger the lives of those astronauts." "He was an astronaut himself." "So you think this X-ray is bogus?" "God, I hope so." "This is Shuttle Launch Control with Tminus one minute, 40 seconds and counting." " OVCC verified." " Roger that." "OVCC verified." "Here we go." "T minus one minute, 30 and counting." " Final purge sequence." "Main engine check." " Copy." "Main engine check." "Switching off ground supply." " On-board fuel cells check." " Roger, OTC." "Pickup terminal sequence FPS." " OTC to CDR, how do you read?" " Loud and clear." "Capacitor energy storage banks all at 241." " OTC to CDR, how do you read?" " Loud and clear." "CDR Houston, how do you read?" "Loud and clear." "Side hatch closeout and white room configuration complete." "Retracting orbiter arm." " All systems go for APU start." " Go with APU start." "BBSR power down and ready for launch." " Transfer to internal power." " Transfer to internal power." "Gimballing of engines complete." "Aero surfaces in launch position." "MPDR assembled." "Military recorder is running." "OK." "Copy." "Oxygen vent hood retracted." "External tank is at flight pressure." "CDR, lock your visors and initiate your O2 flow." " Y'all have a good one." " Roger that." "Go for auto-sequence start." "Booster hydraulic units have started." "Go for main engine start." "T minus 10 and counting." "Nine..." "Eight..." "Seven..." "Six..." "Five..." "Four..." "Three..." "Two..." "One..." "Zero..." "Ignition." "We have liftoff of the shuttle orbiter." "CDR Houston, betcha y'all have never seen a more beautiful sight." "Roger that." "Ten-four." "I have to admit I've fulfilled one of my boyhood fantasies." "Yeah, it ranks up there with learning how to braid my own hair." "Come on, Scully, you have to admit that was exciting." " Mission Control, the countdown..." " Mulder!" "Wait!" " Something's gone wrong." " What happened?" "Something's wrong with the shuttle." "We had trouble with the rocket boosters, but fixed it." "We changed watch. I went home to try to get some sleep." "I got a call." "Communication with the shuttle is down." "We've got to get back to Houston." "There's a press blackout." "Chances are the media doesn't know about it." " You think this is sabotage?" " l don't know." "Things go wrong all the time." " Yeah, but they usually fix them, right?" " Usually." "She's turning." "Michelle!" " l can see her." " Michelle!" " Help!" " Are you all right?" " Oh, I'm stuck!" " Can you move?" "Just get me out of here!" "I'm wedged in!" " Are you all right?" " l'm wedged in!" "Come here." "Can you push with your legs?" " Be careful." " Just get me out of here!" "OK!" "All right!" "Come on." "Don't try to move." "I've got to get back to Houston." " What happened?" " l don't know." "Something came at me in the fog." "The next thing I knew, I was upside down." " Was it some kind of an animal?" " No." "It had a face. lt was... lt was grotesque." "I don't know what it was." "Orbiter, this is Houston." "Do you copy?" "Your transmission is breaking up." "What's happening?" "We have a malf in the OMS and RCF systems." "They can't get the orbiter into attitude rotation." "Temperature in the cabin is 103 and they have transmission problems." " What happened?" " l had an accident." "What's their position?" " Just over Eastern Africa." " Try the Seychelles tracking station." "Hang in there, OTC." "The orbiter manoeuvring system is down." "They can't rotate the shuttle to keep it away from the sun and keep the orbiter cool." "Drop in cabin pressure." "21 kilopascals and declining." "They're gonna burn up." " Where's Colonel Belt?" " On his way." " Damn!" "What happened to backup?" " Failed to respond." "What about telemetry?" "Can we auto-activate from here?" "We cannot auto-activate." "It's like someone's interfering." " Screwing communications from this end." " Can you trace it?" " lt'd have to be a digital processor." " They'd have to be in the data banks." " Where's that?" " Come on." "Mulder?" "I'm a federal agent!" "Come on out of there!" " What are you doing in here?" " l work here." " Let me see your clearance." " A sensor went off." "There was a malfunction." " Did you find it?" " No." "Did you see anybody else in here?" "OK, call Security." "I want a search of the premises." "No one is to come in or out of this building without proper clearance." " l'm breaking up, OTC." " What's the attitude of the orbiter?" "Flying tail first, belly towards the sun." "The flash evaporator system is working but not enough to cool 'em down." " Cabin temperature 116." " Where's..." "Somebody's jamming our transmissions." "interfering with our ground communications and scrambling our uplink telemetry." "The shuttle is not responding to override signals." "I'm gonna let 'em fly by wire." " l'm cutting off telemetry." " lt might not work." " We have to give it a chance." " We have to bring them down." "We have to give them control of the ship to perform that rotation and deliver the payload." "What if they can't?" "We could be stranding them." "Abandon telemetry." "Go to fly-by-wire mode." "They're cutting off ground control." "The astronauts will be flying the shuttle." "is it gonna work?" "OTC, this is Houston." "How's the weather up there?" "Sunny and warm, Houston." "What's the forecast?" "OTC, we're going to fly-by-wire mode." "We're going to abort ground control to see if you can bring those systems back up." "Roger that, Houston." "And leave the driving to us." "David..." "You take care." "What just happened?" "They cut off contact with the shuttle." "Negative." "We pulled off the MPG." "We're on manual." "45 seconds." "If they were able to execute, they'd have done it by now." "Standing by." "60 seconds." "Go to re-establish uplink communication." "Video signal's failed." "OTC, this is Houston." "Do you copy?" "OTC, this is Houston." "Where are you?" "Howdy do, Houston?" "Looks like we finally got this bird to fly right." " OTC, do you hear that?" " Music to our ears." "Cabin temperature stabilising." "OTC, this is Marc Belt in Houston." "How's the crew holding up?" "They're looking good, sir." "You all get some rest." "We'll get back to work" " at about 0700." " Roger that, Houston." "Let's get to work on that telemetry problem." "We've got a big day ahead of us." "Let's just let the electronic press get their sound equipment set." "I know you have a lot of questions." "I'll get to them." "How did he know what he did was going to work?" "He didn't." "They could have died up there and there's nothing we could have done." "They'd have been a ghost ship stuck in orbit." "Why would he take that risk?" "Bring those men back without delivering that payload?" "You're talking millions of wasted dollars." "That's all Congress would need to shut down NASA." "As of 2200 hours the crew has been conducting on-board tests and tasks and resting up for their first full day in space tomorrow." "I'm happy to say, after a beautiful night launch, the shuttle orbiter has performed... magnificently." "So much for your boyhood hero." "Colonel Belt?" "Colonel Belt?" "Can I talk to you for a moment?" "You want to know why I lied to them." "You're asking yourself if I'd lie to you." "You know what it means to be an astronaut, sir?" "You risk your life every time you get into your spacecraft." "For nothing more than the good progress of mankind." "You've got no argument from me, sir." " You're true American heroes." " Heroes?" "We used to make headlines when we did ourjob right." "Now they bury you in the back of the paper." "Name two astronauts in the last shuttle mission." "You make the front page today only if you screw up." "They only know your name if you're the unlucky s.o.b. sitting on 500 tons of dynamite." "That's what they're really waiting for." "Sir, I have to ask." "I'm sorry. lt's my job." "Do you think someone is sabotaging the shuttle?" "My answer to you, sir, will be to bring those men back safely to Earth." " l've got..." " How's it going out there?" " There's something out here!" " Can you repeat that, Commander Belt?" "It's coming at me!" "Holy God!" "Houston, we just heard something weird." "OTC, Houston." "Can you describe it?" "Sort of a dull thump like..." "something bumped the ship!" "Have you got any ideas about that?" "There it is again!" "We're taking a look at it now." "That one right there." "They've got an oxygen leak on board the orbiter." "Our O2 gauges are going all screwy, Houston." "We got problems." "An O2 leak in the main tank." "What did they say happened?" " They don't know." "They said it was a thump." " Stand by." "An astronomer in Winnipeg just spotted a mile-long gaseous cloud trailing in our orbit." "The liquid O2 leaking out into space." "Exactly what happened to Colonel Belt on an Apollo mission." "How much time do they have?" "Hard to say without accurate telemetry data." "We're doing a guesstimate." " Where is Colonel Belt?" " He was due 90 minutes ago to begin payload deployment." "Uh, Houston, we're up here wondering" " when do we start holding our breath?" " We're working on it, OTC." "I need those calculations and a worst-case scenario." "We don't know if both O2 tanks are damaged." "Worst-case scenario!" " And someone find Colonel Belt!" " We'll find him." "They've got 30 minutes of oxygen." "Then it's anybody's guess." "Why does she need Belt?" "She doesn't know how serious the leak is." "Even I can figure out what happens when you run out of oxygen." "Colonel Belt's been in the same situation." "He'll know what to do." "Where the hell is he?" "Colonel Belt!" "Colonel Belt!" "I'm gonna go get Security." "Colonel Belt." "Are you all right?" "Yeah, I wasn't feeling well." "They need you at Mission Control." "There's been another accident." "OTC, is your orbital manoeuvring system still operational?" "Roger, Houston." "We're ready for re-entry." "Just say the word." "How bad's the leak?" "We have no way to determine." "OTC." "What's the condensation in your cabin?" "The windows are getting steamy." "Carbon dioxide build-up." "OK, OTC." "Everything's gonna be fine." "I want you to get in your spacesuits and depressurise your cabin." "And then I want you to... vent that CO2." " Roger, Houston." "Then what?" " l want you to stay in your suits." "And then I want you to prepare to use your emergency oxygen systems." "And then I want you to... to... deliver your payload." "Those are men up there." "You're out of line." "You wanna tell me how to do my job?" "I've been in that situation." "There's more at risk than your personal life." "If you can't accept that or operate effectively in these circumstances, you'd better leave the decisions to people in this room who can!" "OTC, do you copy?" "Roger, Houston." "We're waiting on those O2 calculations." "Michelle!" " They're gonna die!" " You don't know that." "It's unconscionable putting that payload before those men's lives!" "I think she's right, Mulder." "You saw him in there." "He's losing it." " He saved their lives earlier." " Or put them in unnecessary jeopardy." "If he can't deliver that payload, Congress will kill the Space Program." " So will killing the astronauts." " Somebody must have sabotaged the shuttle." "Too many things have gone wrong." " l think Colonel Belt knows about it." " We've got to stop him." " Pull them out of orbit!" " He doesn't want them to die." " How do you know?" " l know it. I'm sure of it." " He put them up there!" " And only he can get them down alive." "How can you be certain that what he's doing isn't gonna save their lives?" "Now, I need access to your records, in a hurry." "Everything on the Hubble telescope, Mars Observer and the current orbiter mission." "Tens of thousands of documents." " What are we looking for?" " X-rays, diagrams, schematics." " Proof that Belt knew about a sabotage." " A needle in a haystack." "Payload deployment initiated." "Roger that, OTC." "Tracking it now." "Looks good from here." "Payload delivery is complete, Houston." "We're awaiting your order." "System check for re-entry de-orbit burn." "Holy God!" "There's something outside the ship that..." " There's someone outside the ship!" " Can you repeat that, OTC?" "There's... some kind of ghost outside the ship!" "No..." "No..." "Mulder?" "I found it." "This is the same diagram that was sent to Michelle." "Ordered by Colonel Belt." "Which means he knew about the faulty valve." "This is from the Challenger. lt's the O-ring fitting that failed, dated January 21st, 1986." "One week before the space shuttle blew up." "The analysis was ordered by Colonel Belt." "So he might have known about the Challenger defect?" "Something weird is going on here, Scully." "Colonel Belt's collapsed." "He's in his office." "He was just here!" "Oh, my God." "What's wrong with him?" "Get a doctor." "Help me!" " Help me!" " How can we help you, Colonel?" "He's having some kind of a seizure." "Come on!" "Come on, come on!" "No..." "They're... tearing me apart!" "Let me see if I can get a pulse." "Oh..." "Help me!" " l'm bringing that shuttle down." " No!" " lt's out there!" " Come on, let's put him down." " Spacesuit..." " Easy, easy." " Strap him down!" " Give him 10mg of diazepam!" " No!" " He's gonna hurt himself!" "He's trying to tell us something!" "Colonel Belt?" " Those men are running out of oxygen." " They don't have to die." "Colonel Belt, I want you to focus." "Focus your breathing." "Focus your pain... right here." "Blood pressure's 174 over 120." "Vitals are rising." " Mulder, you're risking an aneurysm." " Focus!" "Now you're focused." "Right here." "Now you're gonna save those astronauts and you're gonna tell me how to do it." "The shuttle... can't survive re-entry." " He's lying." " How do you know it can't survive?" "The fuselage... the fuselage is damaged." " The silicone tiles are destroyed." " How does he know?" " How has it been damaged?" " l'm responsible." " Did you sabotage the shuttle?" " No, but I couldn't stop them." "Nobody could stop them!" " Stop who?" " Pulse is 194." " You'll kill him, Mulder!" " Stop who?" "They don't want us to know!" " They don't want us to know!" " Who?" "!" "It came to me. lt lives in me!" "It's coming at me!" "It's coming at me!" "No!" "Help me!" "It's coming back!" "That's the face I saw in the fog!" " We're losing him!" " V-fib!" "Here you go." "Clear!" "They just ran out of oxygen." "They've got 30 minutes left in the emergency system." "They'll suffocate up there. I've got to bring them down. lt's the only chance I've got." "Again." "Hold on." "We've got vitals." "We got a pulse." "We've got to get him to a hospital." "OTC, this is Houston, Mission Control." "Do you copy?" "Roger, Houston." "We've got some spooky stuff up here." "OTC, we're gonna bring you down." "We want you to instigate de-orbit burn and begin deceleration." "Roger, Houston." "We kinda hoped you'd say that." "Activating OMS rockets." "All systems go for re-entry." "They're bringing the shuttle down." "You said the shuttle would burn up on re-entry." "Can we do anything to save it?" "Change the trajectory." " Change the trajectory to what?" " Change re-entry trajectory to 35 degrees." "T minus 35 seconds to ionosphere re-entry." " Change the re-entry trajectory!" " What?" " Change it to 35 degrees!" " 30 seconds to re-entry." " Colonel Belt..." " l can't!" " 25 seconds." " lt's your only shot!" "We'd have to change site and tell them before the blackout." "15 seconds to blackout." "I want to know the weather in Albuquerque!" "Are we go for an emergency landing?" "Landing conditions go in Albuquerque." "T minus 5 seconds to blackout." "OTC, change your re-entry trajectory to 35 degrees." "You'll land at Kirtland Field in Albuquerque." "Do you copy?" " Blackout in effect." " Did they get that transmission?" " Two minutes to re-establish." " Damn it!" " How much oxygen do they have?" " 16 minutes." "OTC, this is Houston." "Come in, OTC." "OTC, this is Houston." "Come in, OTC!" "Anything?" " What's the point of their new re-entry?" " 500 miles west of Hawaii." "See if Hawaii can..." " Hawaii's got them on radar." " They made it." "Not necessarily." "Albuquerque, do you have radar confirmation?" "Negative, Houston." "Nothing on the screen." "OTC, this is Houston." "Come in, OTC." "OTC, this is Houston!" "Come in, OTC!" "Houston, this is OTC." "You know a good place to eat in Albuquerque?" "Thought we could meet for dinner." "Whoo!" "OTC, welcome home." "Welcome home, OTC." "You're lookin' real good." "Yes!" "The space shuttle touched down today at 10.56 Central Standard Time." "The orbiter delivered its payload after just 13 orbits and returned to Earth" "without incident." "We at NASA are looking forward to our next shuttle mission and to future successful explorations of space, for mankind and for the future of mankind." "No more!" "I just heard." "Something had possessed him." "Something he must have seen out there in space." "The doctors who examined him said he was experiencing severe dementia." "I don't think he ever really knew exactly how it was working through him." "Or, if he ever knew, that he was..." "responsible for his own actions." "He ordered those X-rays of the damaged parts." "You saw what I saw, Scully." "I think he was trying to warn her." "I think he sent Michelle those X-rays like..." "he was trying to reach out to her, without quite knowing why." "As if his own instinctual impulse was to... save those men." "While simultaneously trying to kill them?" "Scully, we send those men up into space to unlock the doors of the universe." "And we don't even know what's behind them." "I think whatever it was, he took it with him." "In the end, that was the only way he knew how to stop it." "There's an investigation, you know." "They haven't ruled out foul play." "He gave his own life." "As an astronaut, that was something he was prepared to do." "Colonel Marcus Aurelius Belt devoted his life to the exploration and understanding of space." "Learning its mysteries and experiencing it not just for himself, but for humanity." "Lord, take this man's soul and let it rise up to your heavens, higher than he could ever go as a man." "Let him know the true nature of the universe that he sought to learn." "Visiontext Subtitles by Doreen Trenerry" "I made this!" "english"

"We should be glad... that we can have ordinary morning when we wake up everyday." "Dad. it's time to get up." "Hello, this is Mizukami residence." "Yes?" "Born in this world." "Born in this debased world." "There is a shape." "The shape is me." "The shape that has completed a thousand sighs." "Me." "Living with a deep depression." "L" "Melancholia." "My room." "I've been living here for a long time." "I've studied, had fun with my friends and then..." "Mirai." "Hurry up!" "You're going to be late." "Wow!" "Wow!" "it's beautiful!" "Wow!" "Look!" "This is wonderful!" "Wow. it's so beautiful Wow!" "I've heard that a house will be built here soon." "Really?" "It seems so. it's unusual since it's been vacant for such a long time." "Well..." "Where will kids play, if this place is gone?" "Idiot!" "Kids these days don't like these kind of places." "I See." "We've always hung out here." "Yeah." "Let's do this again." "Mirai, don't be so sad." "You can come back here anytime." "Yeah." "That's right." "You're not going to another country." "We'll visit you sometime." "Yah, that sounds good." "Thank you." "Please, make your self at home." "Yes." "We're very happy to have you here." "Thank you very much." "Don't be so polite." "You're my brother's daughter." "So, you're nothing less than our daughter." "I know." "You can't feel at ease with what's happened, your sudden loss." "But, it's going to be okay." "I GUESS SO." "This is your room." "Do whatever you want with it." "Thank you." "Well..." "What are you doing?" "Nothing..." "This is the guest room." "We don't usually use it, so don't go in the room please." "Something is strange here." "What do you mean strange?" "Um, I don't exactly know." "How am I supposed to know if you don't know." "Yes." "You're right." "What's wrong exactly?" "Umm." "I haven't seen my aunt and uncle for a long time." "In fact, I've seen them only a couple of times." "Mirai?" "Are you there?" "Mira?" "Hello?" "Mirai?" "What's going on?" "What?" "Mirai?" "Mirai?" "What's happened?" "Oh..." "Nothing." "Don't worry." "Mirai, many things are changing, but somethings never change." "I can't explain well, but..." "Just take things as they come." "Thank you." "A strange sense has existed inside of me since I was a child." "The sense that I'm coming and going to another dimension." "I feel like I can remember scenery I've never seen." "I remember things I've never done." "This strange sense is not like Deja Vu." "It might be..." "Hey!" "What are you doing here?" "What?" "You've come such a long way." "Come on." "Let's go." "Let's me go." "What's wrong?" "Come on!" "No!" "Hey!" "I'm sorry." "I was worried about you so..." "You'd better not go out for a while." "What?" "Why not?" "Strange men are approaching you in the street." "I could never apologize to my brother if something happened to you." "That's right." "You are like our own daughter." "Oh, it's you." "What are you doing?" "Mirai hasn't left for her uncle's place." "She's with Yoshiko." "What does that mean?" "Why?" "Hello, Takuji?" "What is it?" "It's after midnight." "What?" "Yoshiko?" "Missing?" "Mirai, you were in your uncle's house, right?" "Yes." "Why do you ask?" "It's strange." "She sent Satsuki a message that she was with you before she went missing." "I don't know since when... and I don't know why, but I've had a deep feeling... for a long time." "There is another me." "She doesn't even remember her mother." "It should be all right." "But, if Masao told her something..." "He couldn't have He knew how risky it was." "But, why did Masao commit suicide?" "Mirai." "Good morning." "You're up early." "Did you sleep well?" "I'll make your breakfast." "Thank you." "What's going on here..." "I have no idea." "Why would Yoshiko... come to think of it..." "What?" "Nothing." "It's just, I saw a strange woman... at the place where Mirai's father committed suicide." "Shinji, you find out more about Yoshiko, and I'll see Satsuki" "All right." "Shinji!" "What?" "Be careful!" "I know." "I'm okay." "Mirai?" "Is everything okay?" "Okay, I got it." "I'll pick you up at the station." "I don't know anything specific." "Yes." "I'll call you as soon as I know something more." "Hey!" "Hey you, what are you doing?" "Why did Yoshiko disappear?" "I have no idea." "Mirai..." "What?" "Are you sure you were in your uncles house?" "Of course. it's strange." "How could I possibly have met Yoshiko?" "But, Satsuki got a cell phone picture of you and Yoshiko together." "It's impossible, isn't it?" "Mirai." "Don't worry about it." "We'll solve this, all of us." "Just like we've always done." "Oh, it's you!" "Don't scare me." "Isn't Takuji with you?" "Satsuki's not here yet?" "This is her cell phone." "Who are you?" "Stop it." "Get away from me." "Ahhhh ..." "No..." "Shewon'tanswer." "I knew it." "Mirai?" "What's wrong?" "Like I thought, there's another me." "What do you mean?" "I don' know, but I've felt it for long time." "I'm not the only one of me." "Another one exists." "So what?" "I don't know." "You mean a Doppelganger?" "Doppel-what?" "Haven't you heard the word before?" "Somewhere in the world, you have a double exactly the same as you." "I don't know about that." "I don't know." "Mirai, you should go back to your uncle's house for now." "But..." "I'll find Satsuki." "I promise I'll find out what's going on." "Don't look like that." "If anything happens, call me." "I'll look out for you, I promise." "Takuji..." "We've always hung out here." "Yeah." "Let's do this again." "Mirai, don't be so sad." "You can come back here anytime." "Dad." "Why did you commit suicide on me, Dad?" "Was it something to do with me?" "What could it be?" "Hello?" "Mirai?" "Are you all right?" "Are you all right?" "Mirai?" "What's happened?" "Where are you?" "I got it." "I'll be there right away." "Wait for me." "Mirai!" "Mirai!" "Mirai, are you all right?" "Oh, that's good." "I'm glad you came." "Takuji, I'm glad you came." "Where is Satsuki?" "Is she here?" "Is she okay?" "Mirai!" "What's wrong?" "She isn't... oh, my." "Just, stay here okay?" "How can...how can it be?" "Why?" "Takuji, I love you." "Who are you?" ""Incoming phone Mirai"" "Don't look like that." "If anything happens, call me." "I'll look out for you, I promise." "Takuji..." "I'm scared." ""Calling Takuji"" "Hello?" "Takuji?" "Hello?" "Hello?" "Hello?" "Takuji..." "Hello?" "Hello?" ""Takuji"" "Hello?" "Mirai?" "Takuji!" "Mirai, I'm sorry." "I don't think I can see you any more." "I promised to protect you." "I promised to solve this for you." "But I can't." "I wanted to protect everybody." "Takuji?" "What's happened?" "Takuji?" "Listen, Mirai, I'm not scared." "I don't really know." "Mirai, live your life well." "Takuji!" "Hello?" "Takuji!" "Takuji..." "I was so surprised." "They really do look exactly the same." "Yes, I got it." "Yes, Professor. it's fine." "Nobody knows a thing about us so far." "NO!" "NO!" "NO!" "No!" "it's not true." "No!" "NO!" "NO!" "Mirai, it's me." "Mirai." "Calm down." "Why?" "I'm a kind of doctor- a doctor for trees." "Everyday I walk in the woods to check on the tree's condition." "One day, I met Mirai." "Mirai has been confined in this house since she was a child." "That's why she can't talk to people." "She's always been alone and lonely." "That's why I became her friend." "I knew something was wrong." "You're not the Mirai who used to live here." "I'm Mirai Mizukami." "But, who is the other Mirai?" "You look identical." "Like twins." "Twins?" "Is she my twin sister?" "I don't really know." "I'm just as surprised that there are two Mirais." "Why?" "If we're twins, why were we separated?" "What am I?" "What's going on with me?" "Take it easy." "I knew I must have a double." "Nagisa?" "You're back." "I still can't believe it." "It's simply not possible." "It's extraordinary." "Nagisa, don't get too excited." "I can't say for sure it was completely the right thing to do." "NO!" "What's wrong?" "Everyone." "Everyone I know." "Why?" "This is my grandfather." "What?" "Your grandfather?" "Yes." "But they said he died before I was born." "Really?" "Are you serious?" "Yes." "My dad said so, and showed me his picture." "That's unbelievable." "Why do you say that?" "He's still living." "What do you mean?" "He's still living." "Right now." "I never thought that I would be able to See you." "So, what do you want to ask me?" "Everything." "The other Mirai is my twin sister?" "I don't know anything about that." "Yes, you do." "You know everything." "You must." "Stupid." "He should have thrown that out." "What are you asking about this tor?" "There are so many things in this world you'd better oft not knowing." "You're a carbon copy of your mother." "I'll tell you if you really want to know." "I understand how you feel, but In Vitro Fertilization is another way." "Dad, you said it's theoretically possible to make a clone." "It's certainly possible." "We've already cloned mammals throughout the world, but a human clone hasn't been in achieved, not even experimentally." "So if you feel like that, why do you do clone research even through you were expelled from the university faculty?" "Well, I think the technique will be needed someday in the future." "But why does the child have to be a clone?" "We want a baby made from our genes." "Only our genes, nobody else's." "Your parents, Masao and Ayaka, were Childless." "Ayaka's ovaries were functioning normally, but Masao was sterile," "so they couldn't make a baby in the normal way." "I decided to make a clone... because they were so eager." "But, in fact, I probably just wanted to succeed in an experiment that nobody would accept." "An experiment no one thought could succeed." "The experiment was a success." "I managed to make two cloned babies." "Two babies with the same gene composition." "I can't believe it." "Of course, two people having the same gene composition shouldn't exist in the world." "The world not only doesn't accept the technique of cloning, but even less accepts the existence of cloned people." "I had to choose one." "So, as well as I could," "I made an analysis of the genes of the two babies." "The analysis showed a problem with the genes of one of the babies." "A defect that might lead to disease in the future." "So..." "Yes." "Mira, you were chosen." "And the other one was the other Mirai." "The other one should have been disposed of." "So, why is the other Mirai living now?" "Do you know Kasper Hauser?" "Kasper Hauser?" "It was in Germany in the 19th century." "A man was found standing at the street corner in Nuremburg." "He couldn't walk or talk." "The man had been confined since childhood, and didn't the chance to learn language." "All he had with him was a toy wooden horse." "The students who were researching Kasper, drew the conclusion that somebody had experimented on how people learn emotion and language," "it they have those instinctively." "It remains a mystery who did the experiment on Kasper." "What does that have to do with Mirai?" "I too wanted to know" "if a cloned human being could develop emotion without education, and how much she could inherit from her genes." "So I put Mirai with Mr. Mrs. Minagata, who used to be my assistants in the university." "They were also childless, and were keenly interested in the experiment." "So, he is not..." "No." "Your father and Takeshi Minagata are not brothers." "Minagata and you had no relationship." "You people, what do you think human life is?" "Stop it." "Please." "He's my grandfather." "Please..." "I don't think everything I did was right." "If only I hadn't done it, Ayaka wouldn't have..." "No!" "He regretted what she had done, and she committed suicide." "No!" "No!" "Mirai." "That's why I completely stopped doing experiments." "Mirai." "Get a hold of yourself." "Nagisa?" "Professor." "Do you really regret it?" "I don't know now." "But, cloning technology will be necessary in the near future." "Umm." "That may be." "Human desire knows no bounds." "That's what makes scientific progress." "There's no doubt cloning will generate enormous profits." "For researchers, it's the forbidden fruit." "You're great." "You were the first to taste the forbidden fruit." "You succeeded where no one else in the world had." "I don't know about that." "I lost so much for an experiment that nobody knows, and nobody will admit to." "That's not true." "I know your achievement." "I recognize it." "Mirai!" "Help me here." "What?" "What are you saying?" "How can you be so cool?" "I wonder." "Listen." "You're a person who shouldn't exist." "If anyone finds out you're a clone, you'll be killed." "I'll help you." "Are you okay?" "Yes." "I've felt something strange since I was a child." "I've felt something inside me like a black shadow or some kind of darkness." "It's not Deja Vu, it's clearer than that." "I feel like I've seen something or done something." "It's a strange feeling." "Something I've never understood has now become clear, and at the same time, it's all fuzzy." "What am I?" "It's all lies and fiction." "Everyone has died because of me." "There's no one connected to me any more." "My existence has no meaning." "That's enough." "You are a human being even through you're a clone." "I have no parents and no family." "What?" "I know nobody wanted me to be born." "Even when people have helped me," "I've always been alone." "That feeling has never left me." "But, I am alive." "You're alive too, aren't you?" "Listen, nature, like the trees and flowers have meaning in their existence." "It's the same for people." "The most important thing... is living in the moment." "Where are you going?" "I'm going to clean up the room." "We can't leave it like this." "I'll help you." "You don't have to." "Take a rest." "Mirai, I said take a rest." "What should we with these?" "It's better to burn them." "They seem burnable." "What are you doing?" "Kei..." "Are you her?" "Kei..." "I love you." "NO!" "NO!" "NO!" "Stop it, who are you?" "Please, stop it." "Your existence is standing in my way." "It there is evidence that you exist in the world it will ruin everything." "Why?" "It's obvious." "You're the world's first human clone." "You can never imagine how great Professor Mizukami's achievement is." "What do you mean?" "Mean?" "His research will result in unimaginable fame and wealth." "Nobody knows about it yet, except tor you and her." "It's all going to be mine." "I was right to get close to Professor Mizukami." "NO!" "Mirai?" "Why?" "Why do you do this?" "Why do you kill people?" "I wanted to be Mirai." "But... why?" "Friends, everybody." "But, I can't be Mirai." "You have everybody." "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Kill me." "Please, kill me." "I can't do that." "There can only be Mirai." "If you don't kill me," "I'll kill you." "Why?" "You and I are both Mirai." "Please." "No, I can't." "I can't." "I can't kill you.." "Only one Mirai." "One Mirai." "I want to die." "You shouldn't say that." "You have to live." "There is a meaning to life." "The man you love said so." "Mirai, live your life." "No!" "No!" "Not any more." "Thank you." "We should be glad that we can have ordinary morning" "when we wake up everyday." "Even though it's not exactly the same morning," "to have a new day," "To live in the moment, anything can happen." "Erase?" "Erasing" "Erased" "NO!"

"This is Great Britain." "Over a third of our country is made up of mountains." "And here in the northwest of England is some of the most important mountain scenery in history." "I'm taking on some hair-raising challenges... ..facing crags that will stretch my abilities... I'm gonna slip!" "..and experimenting with energy-boosting sweets." "But above all, I hope to discover how we fell in love with mountain scenery." "How did this small patch of British upland come to be one of the most inspiring landscapes in the world?" "These are the mountains of the Lake District." "Of all Britain's mountain regions, the Lake District has the greatest reputation for staggering beauty." "It's just a pocket of paradise - the national park is no more than 885 square miles of lake, mountain and farmland." "But it's become the epitome of Britain." "It's a landscape that stirs the imagination of 1 2 million visitors a year." "Who can fail to be inspired by it?" "It's..." "It's simply divine." "But, astonishingly, only a few hundred years ago, visitors had an entirely different reaction." "Nowadays, we love this scenery, but this was not how one of the earliest tourists saw it at all." "Celia Fiennes came here in the 1 600s." "She was sort of the original Sunday tripper." "She undertook a vast tour of England just really for no other reason than to have a look at it." "And she wrote a book called" "Through England On A Side Saddle ln The Time Of William And Mary." "She was obviously a good deal more intrepid than me." "I don't want to be on a side saddle!" "But Celia was safe enough." "And as she travelled on, she made observations." "Here in the Lakes she wrote that, "I was walled on both sides" ""by those inaccessible, barren, rocky hills. "" "To be honest, I don't think she really thought much of the Lake District." "Like the good housewife that she was, she noted down various recipes for bread and for potted char, which is a fish in Lake Windermere." "She was very concerned that her horses needed reshoeing twice a week on the hard roads." "And she did look at the scenery, but more in a state of astonishment than wonder or awe." "To her, it was all so wasteful and unproductive." "That first travel book didn't exactly encourage hordes of tourists." "But somehow, over time, our feelings about the Lake District have been transformed." "I want to find out just how we came to love our mountains." "For the next hundred years after Celia, more and more people did come to look and tremble." "They could see that it was extraordinary." "They thought natural landscape looked almost as good as a picture and they called it picturesque." "New words like "terrible" and "awesome" were used to describe the fearsome scenery." "But a new vision was needed to change these puzzled reactions into something like love." "And this was achieved not by a travel writer, but by a poet." "This is Grasmere." "And in 1 799, the man who did more to change the way we thought about nature and mountain scenery came to live here with his sister at Dove Cottage." "His name was William Wordsworth." "Wordsworth was part of the English Romantic movement, a group of 1 9th-century writers and artists who transformed our attitude to nature." "He was born in Cockermouth, just 28 miles northwest of Grasmere." "And his greatest achievement was to articulate the glory of nature in his own back garden." "For him the landscape was neither terrifying, nor simply rather lovely." "It was the essence of life." "He believed that our enjoyment of it brought us closer to the nature of existence." "In 1 81 0, he wrote lovingly of the mountains," ""In the combinations which they make," ""and in the beauty and variety of their surfaces and colours" ""they are surpassed by none. "" "This eulogy was actually written in his own guidebook to the Lakes." "It was so popular that a visiting clergyman is said to have inquired whether Mr Wordsworth had ever written anything else." "But he ended up dismayed by the huge numbers who came." "And still they come, making pilgrimage to his own home, Dove Cottage." "Did you know about Wordsworth before you came?" "Yes, I know." "Erm, I think everyone knows." "He was inspired by...mm, beautiful nature here and he respected nature as a god." " As a god?" "Yes." " Yes, as a god." "So sort of like..." "But a new idea..." " Mm, yes." " ..of man and nature altogether, all his feelings coming through." "Yes." "Wordsworth lived here with up to 1 4 others for eight and a half years." "It was a crowded little cottage, and now it's crowded with tourists who can, amongst other things, still read the newspapers he used to insulate a bedroom." "Wordsworth himself escaped as often as he could to the hills." "A friend estimated that over his lifetime," "Wordsworth walked 200,000 miles." "He'd set out each day to explore the Cumbrian fells, returning in the evening to his sister, Dorothy." "The locals commented that they saw him wandering around muttering to himself but what he was doing was composing his poetry." "And he'd carry lines back to Dorothy so that she could write them down." ""The birds around me hopped and played," ""Their thoughts I could not measure: " ""But the least movement which they made, lt seemed a thrill of pleasure."" "Write that down, darling." "Wordsworth realised that the mountains provided a sort of holy joy." "He believed that the hills and the valleys and the trees and the birds and all of us were part of nature, and therefore part of God." "His poetry put man at the centre of the landscape and encouraged him to enjoy it in a new way." "Thanks to Wordsworth, going for a walk in the country was universally acknowledged as being good for the soul." "And, undoubtedly, there is a special beauty to the Lake District." "There may be higher ranges and broader waters, even in our own country." "So what is it that makes this area particularly unique?" "These mountains started life around 500 million years ago when rock was pushed up by volcanic activity." "But that's true of many British mountains." "So it doesn't explain what makes the Lakes unique." "To find out, I've come to look at the landscape from perhaps the best vantage point " "Ullswater, near Penrith, in Lakeland's northeast." "I've arranged to take to the waters with a geologist, Peter Nienow, who's been coming here for 30 years." "Apparently, the secret of the Lake District happened around 40 million years ago." "There was a doming up over the whole of the area." "So it looked like an upturned bowl or an upturned umbrella." " Right." " And then you've got the drainage system." "Lots of rainfall led the drainage system to generate valleys going out in radial pattern." "Wordsworth described this pattern of valleys as being like the spokes of a wheel." "And in each one, a lake was formed by ice-age glaciers." "So the rivers create the initial valley but the glaciers are very good at eroding down vertically." "Right, and in a way..." "So a sort of..." "It's a sort of scraping effect that the heavy ice had, a scooping, rather than just going straight down like that." "Ullswater, Wast Water, Coniston Water, all of these lakes have been deepened by the glaciers and then when the glaciers retreat then you're left with dramatic, steep-sided valley walls." "The result is 1 6 lakes and countless smaller stretches of water packed into just 850 square miles." "Everywhere I look, I can see high, bare uplands and soft, green valleys." "Water and mountain in harmony." "Each corner begs for exploration and, thanks to the lakes, we often see it twice, in exquisite reflection." "The Lake District's complex geology can also throw up some surprisingly intrepid journeys." "Hardknott Pass, 1 7 miles southwest of Ullswater, is the steepest road in England." "I've been offered a lift." "Well, I'm going to take a little motorised tour of the fells now." "Biker Bill Wroughton has offered to take me over the pass." "He runs pillion tours for intrepid passengers." "Hardknott Pass is a succession of frightening hairpin bends and has a mind-boggling one in three gradient." "It rises to 1,200 feet in little over a mile." "At its top is a Roman fort, barracks for 500 soldiers who came up here almost 2,000 years ago." "Nowadays, a queue of cyclists, motorcyclists and drivers seems compelled to take up the same challenge." "Well, they certainly heard us coming." "Thanks, Bill." "What is that absolute stink... coming from those cars?" "It's the brake pads." "People are braking all the way down." "They're frightened." "Right. lt was like San Francisco in the rush hour." "Where are all these people going, then?" "They're coming for the sake of it, I think." "It doesn't link two towns." " You don't have to go over this pass." " They're coming to see if they can get stuck." " To see if they can do it." " Yes." "You've done one of the hardest passes in Britain." " lt is bloody good fun." " l know." " Did I scare ya?" " Yes." "The volcanoes that helped create these gradients, high passes and motorbikers' fantasy ride also left behind them a lot of ash." "Compressed over millions of years, this ash became slate." "It's the famous green slate, seen in every Lake District town and village." "Cumbria once boasted 7 0 slate mines and quarries." "But cheaper slate from abroad and modern artificial materials meant that the industry died." "Except here." "Honister slate mine near Keswick is very much alive." "It's England's last working slate mine and owes its continued existence to the vision of one man." "Mark Weir has single-handedly resurrected this relic of Cumbrian industry." "In the 1 980s, the mine was closed down." "But Mark's grandfather, who'd worked in the mine all his life, always dreamed that it would open again." "After his death, Mark risked everything and bought it." "The only problem was that Mark, a former helicopter pilot, didn't know the first thing about slate mining." "I'd never been underground in a mine until I walked through here for the first time." "And I hadn't been underground unless I'd bought it." "Isn't that weird?" "But Mark has been transformed into a slate expert, like his grandfather, having taught himself the skills." "I know this is a good bit of slate because it rings like a bell." " Right." " All right." " So all I would want to do now, erm..." " Yeah?" "..is hit it in the middle of the middle." "I just tap it..." " And because it's gone thin on me... lt's amazing how with just that knock you've ended up with something as...finished as that." "As beautiful a surface as that." "It looked easy enough, so I thought I'd have a crack." " All right." " Are you a practical sort of guy?" "Not really, no." "But I'll have a go." "Almost anything, I'll have a go." "OK, go into the middle there." " And just a slight tap..." " into the middle?" "In the middle there, like that." "How hard am I gonna hit this?" "A nice, swift strike." "OK." "Now I've probably..." "And again." " You're committed now, Griff. lt's..." " Am I?" "OK." "You just nicely tap it through." "Gently." "Gently?" " Yep." " Gently." "Gently..." "That's gone through." "There's definitely something coming off." "Look at that!" " l mean, it's not perfect." " No, it isn't." "No, but..." "It's not a tile so much as a sort of, erm..." "Well, it is a cheeseboard." "Or possibly..." "It could do in me garden, couldn't it, really?" "It didn't take me that long." "After I'd ruined a perfectly good bit of slate for him," "Mark took me up the mountain to find the green gold, as slate is called." "When Mark bought the mine, it was derelict." "He had 1 1 miles of tunnels, many of which were blocked or unsafe." "And he had no money to employ anyone to help him." "In getting it back to a workable state, he was completely on his own." "Look at this!" " Well!" " lsn't that fantastic?" "When I first started, for the first three years, I used to do seven days a week and two 24-hour shifts mixed between that week, every week." "You would work here, at night, on your own?" " Yeah." " And what was the feeling like then?" "Awful." " Awful?" " Awful." "It was the worst feeling." "You may as well just dig a hole and put yourself in a coffin." "It was awful." " ln the dark?" " ln the dark." "With no lights." "Just the one that I had on." "And it was such a hole." "It was hell." "But did you hate the mountain then?" "I did. I hated every bit of it." "So what drove you on?" "That basically I'd bought a mine and it wasn't doing anything and, er, I was going to lose everything." "So my great idea of being truly grit and all the rest of it and I'll lose everything genuinely was on the horizon." "I was gonna lose the lot." "And the only thing that kept us going was that... the only get-out that I could... was to, erm, basically work." "And work and work and work, until I saw the green gold of Honister." "But the days and nights of toil paid off." "And now Honister slate mine employs 40 people and produces 1 0,000 tonnes of slate a year for building companies in Cumbria and beyond." "Mark hasn't just been busy extracting slate." "He also has a project that he hopes will leave a legacy to this Cumbrian industry." "Deep in the mountain, we came to an astonishing slate cave." " What's your plan here?" " l'm creating an amphitheatre." "A monument to the old people that lived and died." "So what, you're putting in seats, and a stage?" " Yeah, in rock form." " Really?" " Yeah." " That's a huge amount of work...to do." "It is." "This is my home." "This is my inspiration." "This is my piece to, erm, carry on after my time." "If Mark's inspiration becomes a reality, the slate amphitheatre will be a place of congregation." "Visitors will be able to sit right inside the mountain and feel its might and beauty." "These mountains have long had the power to bring people together." "This is Swinside stone circle." "Ten miles northeast of Honister, it's stood here for 5,000 years." "The stones themselves are just about the only record these ancient peoples left behind them." "There are 55 gigantic monoliths." "Some of them weigh over five tonnes." "They were brought here with great difficulty." "But for what?" "Nobody really knows." "The one thing that is absolutely certain is that people who put this here knew that its effect was going to be hugely enhanced by its setting here in the middle of the Cumbrian hills." "There has been speculation that these are an astral computer, a place of sacrifice, or a form of temple." "In fact, archaeologists cannot even say for certain that this was a holy site." "But on a cold day under a high sky, this place in these mountains would bring anyone closer to the mysteries of the universe." "I'm making my way east to a peak called Firbank Fell." "In 1 652 a man named George Fox came here to spread a radical religious message." "He was a Seeker, someone who saw no necessity for priests and hierarchies and felt that man could and should have a personal relationship with God." "Fox gathered a thousand people here on Firbank Fell to preach his version of Christianity." "The rock where he stood is known as Fox's Pulpit." "I've come to look at it with Roy Stephenson, a follower of the religious movement Fox founded here, the Quakers." "How did they get the name Quakers, then?" "A couple of years before George Fox came up here, he was preaching wherever he could and found himself jailed in Derby for interrupting a church service and causing a riot." "He was then taken before a judge." "Fox, rather than saying, "Yes, m'lud, no, m'lud and three bags full"" "said, "You ought to tremble and quake at the name of the Lord."" "And this so incensed the judge that he said, "Get this quaker out of here and take him back to jail!"" "And the name Quaker stuck." "There we are." "But, boy, you can certainly get a sense of this being a natural pulpit up here." "From this place you could address people." "Well, yes, you certainly could." "Probably more effectively than you could within the church." "Yes." " But it's a commanding height, isn't it?" " lt certainly is, yeah." "You probably could get a thousand people in this area." "Yeah." "For nearly 40 years, the Quakers suffered persecution and discrimination until an Act of Parliament allowed freedom of conscience." "Today, there are 350,000 followers worldwide, members of the Religious Society of Friends, as Quakerism is officially known." "The heart of the movement is still here, in the Cumbrian mountains." "Roy invited me down the road to Briggflatts Hall, a traditional Quaker meeting house for over 300 years." "But if after visiting Fox's hillside pulpit, I was expecting a little hellfire preaching," "I was to be disappointed." "Quaker meetings take place in total silence." "Until someone feels moved to speak." "We are very lucky... to be in such a beautiful part of the world, where we can go to the hills and experience a peace and a quietness" "that speaks to us of a dimension beyond the hills." "After about an hour of contemplation, the meeting came to a close with a firm handshake and a cup of tea." "This beautiful Quaker meeting house we're in now, there's an obvious emphasis on simplicity." "And modesty. ls that something you think is important?" "I think it attracts, erm, a special sort of person, who can tolerate being still and quiet and...and doesn't want ritual and pomp." "Quakers and anybody else who wants to come here come here because of the silence and the peace and maybe something else, being there, that helps you be calm and helps you think more straight and just makes you relax more." "It's as if the simple, quiet reflection you experience on the mountaintop is rediscovered in a Quaker meeting." "Because nobody speaks doesn't mean to say nothing's happening." "And the really strange thing that happens is that...often happens is that people, when they do stand up and speak, will often speak the words that you have inside you as well." "So connect with something that's going on in your own thoughts." "I'm not being flippant here, but you don't sit and think about the shopping" " or..." " Oh, sometimes!" "Sometimes." "The Quakers find a kind of solace in the stillness and beauty of this landscape." "And yet these mountains can be a spur to more than a quiet contemplation." "They may look eternal and calm from a distance, but God's pyramids, as one Quaker described them, can be dark and exhilarating close to." "This is Scafell, part of the solid mass that dominates the centre of the Lake District." "It includes Scafell Pike, England's highest mountain, which rises to over 3,200 feet." "Nowadays, Scafell is popular amongst climbers seeking the thrill of a challenge." "But this is not a new thing." "In the mid-1 7 00s, poets and philosophers began to climb into the hills for a similar buzz." "They were looking to compare their own human frailty with the power and majesty of the natural world." "They were joined by one man who believed that to feel a connection to the mountain you had to experience it." "He was a poet and a friend of Wordsworth." "But his way of getting a spiritual connection to the landscape was a lot more adventurous." "It's quite spooky, isn't it, with the mist?" "Here." "He wanted to experience the danger the mountain had to offer by taking unacceptable risks." "In 1 802, he set off alone on a nine-day, 1 00-mile hike over the Cumbrian mountains." "He was Samuel Taylor Coleridge." "This was where he came, to see what the mountain would do not just to his body, but to his mind." "What he was looking for was some of the terrific, horrid, overpowering qualities of nature." "He did this trip wearing just an ordinary suit and carrying a knapsack with a couple of books in it and a spare collar." "I'm not sure what he'd make of me, really." "He'd have thought I was dressed like a sort of knight in armour in all this gear." "Coleridge's lack of equipment didn't hold him back." "He delighted in the mountain experience and he loved what he saw." "He wrote, "From this sweet place I see the whole of Derwentwater." ""But for the haziness of the air, I could see my own house. "" "Lucky old Coleridge." "But, like me, he hadn't really set out just for the view." "He wanted to play a game, which nowadays would be considered completely suicidal." "He literally threw himself off a series of cliffs called Broad Stand, a combination of vertical drops and narrow ledges." "It was ludicrous, but he wanted to test his mental strength with a mountaineering Russian roulette." "As he boasted to his lover," ""There is one sort of gambling to which I am much addicted." ""I am too confident to look till I find a track." ""But I wander on, and where it is first possible to descend," ""there I go, relying on fortune. "" "What the great Romantic poet did, was lower himself down the first ledge that he came to." "It was apparently about seven foot so he got himself to his fingertip ends and dropped." "And then he came to the next one and he did exactly the same thing." "And the last ledge that he dropped himself down was much further than that, about 12 feet." "And he lay in a great heap at the bottom, and flattened himself out on the ledge that he'd lain... and lay there trembling and looking up at the sky, as he described it, in a sort of trance." "He knew that he could use his intelligence to get himself off the mountain." "He had no fear that anything would go wrong." "I get the sense though that the rocks on that day were a good deal less slippery than they are today." "Partly because it's slippery, and partly because I'm not as mad as Coleridge," "I'm going to tackle Broad Stand with the assistance of local Mountain Rescue team members" "Richard Warren and Julian Carradice." "After all, the great poet may have survived, but it is a notorious accident black spot." "People fall off all the time." "I think what happens is that they come all the way down through there, they do all the steps, they get worried, and they say, "Well, should we go back up" ""or should we go down there?"" " Yes..." " And they think, "lt's easier to go down there."" "How many people have you had to step in and rescue, then?" "Well, I haven't counted but I think I've been on about 30 incidents just on here in the years that I've been involved." "You're gonna help me down I hope using a bit of sort of specialism..." "We'll put you in a harness and have ropes and do it much more safely." "Rope through the big hole..." "I think Coleridge would have probably scoffed at all this." "He relied on his luck and his brains, not a safety rope and harness." "But then he was the very first adrenaline junkie." "It is tied on there, is it?" "Oh, it's tied on." "Yeah...yeah..." "Good." "As I start going down, following Coleridge's route," "I can't understand how he managed to get down alive." "Go nice and slow." "And start moving your feet quite wide so that you go into the V groove there." "Yeah?" " OK." " Yeah." " Lovely." " Hang on." "Keep your head back cos that'll keep your angle..." "Yeah." " Perfect." " ls that all right?" "The more you lean on it, the better." "The first bit for Coleridge wasn't too difficult." "And the second drop was hairy, but not that big." "But the last one looked like suicide to me." "It's very slippery." "Very, very slippery." "I can't get any purchase with my feet, you see." "Well, I'm stuck now on me safety rope." "There we are." "Well, I think I can see why tackling Broad Stand was mental and physical stimulation for Coleridge." "His final obstacle was a simple test of his body." "This narrow gap is known as Fat Man's Agony." "Fat man's agony and medium-sized man's... extreme slippery discomfort." "Look at me." "I'm covered in green slime from top to bottom." "But, er, the bottom is where l'm at." "The passion that Coleridge showed for climbing is of course shared by millions today." "Major industries have emerged to cater for this obsession." "In the towns of the Lake District, the shops overflow with outdoor accessories." "Everybody seems to be sporting a hi-tech anorak." "Even if they're just nipping down to the high street to look out for another one." "I sometimes get the impression that the great outdoors is really one huge marketing opportunity." "But there is one essential bit of kit that every climber has to have." "Ah, here we are." "Yes." "Kendal mint cake." "After all, climbers use every bit of their body, except, as far as I know, their teeth so obviously they're prepared to sacrifice them to any amount of sugar." "Mint cake fingers variety pack, assorted mint cake pieces, mint cake discs, chocolate covered." "They've probably done for more molars than any other sweet in the mountains." "I'm getting quite a hit just off the fumes." "Kendal mint cake is the soft and sugary underbelly of Cumbria." "Quiggin's has been supplying the northwestern sweet tooth since 1 880." "Well, there's a very strong smell of peppermint, so unless this is the Kendal toothpaste manufacturer, I think this is probably the place." "Kendal mint cake has been associated with climbing ever since Edmund Hillary took some up Everest for its energy-releasing powers." "David Goodyear has been making the stuff for nearly 40 years." "Today I'm the sorcerer's apprentice." "How much water and glucose have you got in there?" "Five litres of water, roughly five litres of glucose." " Roughly five litres?" " Yeah." "Well, it's not an exact science." " ls it not?" " No." "I was rather hoping it was!" " lt's a bit of a secret recipe, is it?" " l wouldn't go that far." "We'll turn the gas on." "Apparently, Kendal mint cake was banned in New York in the 1 950s for being called a cake while not containing any flour." "It's no longer banned, but they haven't changed the recipe." "My fillings are aching just watching this." "And how much sugar have you put in there now?" "30 pounds." " 30 pounds of sugar." " Or 15 kilos." " lt's largely sugar, is it?" " Yes." " Yes. 90 per cent." " 90 per cent sugar?" " You don't make a diabetic Kendal mint cake?" " We don't, no." "No." "Other ingredients are glucose which is, well, sugar, and fondant, which is...sugar." "Fondant gives Kendal mint cake its opaque appearance, in case you thought it was something to do with making it sweeter." "I'll put some mint in now." " That's the mint." " That's the mint." "That's the secret taste ingredient." "That's the thing that makes all the difference." "Now...this is where you want smello-vision." "Unbelievably powerful." "This is potent, this stuff." " Oh, it's strong stuff." " Blimey." "Very highly concentrated." "I'll have to just attend a little bit to the physical effect." " lt's a good cold relief!" " lt is. lt's just extraordinary." "I haven't felt this way since I saw The Champ with Mickey Rooney in it." "It's time to make some cakes." "Kendal mint cake has been around since 1 869." "A confectioner trying to make some glacier mints took his eye off the stove and found that his mixture has gone cloudy." "Being a Cumbrian entrepreneur, he decided it was a new invention." "Mint cake." "If you're going to buy Kendal mint cake, I'd go and buy one from this particular batch cos l'm slightly overfilling the moulds." "No, I'm slopping it everywhere." "Oh, disaster!" "And how many batches do you do in a day?" "Usually about ten panfuls." "We've made 192 bars this morning." "So you've ten times 192." "That's what you would make in a day." "500 tonnes of Kendal mint cake come out of this factory alone every year, enough to keep even Coleridge going." "So, anorak, sweeties... what else do I need to prepare for a bracing walk?" "Guidebooks." "Every single section of the Lake District somebody has categorised, mapped, laid out, and given you instructions on what you ought to look out for." "But there's one name that today stands out." "And that's..." "Wainwright." "Alfred Wainwright's guides are probably amongst the most beautiful ever produced." "Every page is lovingly handwritten and illustrated in miraculous detail." "Wainwright was born in Lancashire but fell in love with the Cumbrian mountains when he came here on holiday at the age of 23." "He worked as a bookkeeper in an accountant's office and it was his gift for detail and neatness that distinguishes his guidebooks." "As you go through them, you think, I'd love to have this because it looks like a hand-made book, as opposed to a manufactured book." "Every single aspect of it is hand-drawn but very beautifully done." "Like a sort of..." "Like the school geography project, only..." "Yes, it's really careful." "Everything is so carefully done." "Yeah." "So you still sell them?" " Oh, yes, in great numbers." " Do you?" "Wainwright spent 1 3 years exploring Cumbria and wrote seven guidebooks to the Lakes, which became best-selling backpackers' bibles." "In all, he wrote over 50 books, but he shied away from fame." "When stopped in the hills and asked if he was the famous Alfred Wainwright, he always denied it." "He only agreed to being filmed late in the 1 980s, a few years before his death." "The last of the guides was published in 1 966." "Over the years, new paths and roads have been built and the guides were in danger of becoming unreliable and going out of print." "But 63-year-old former taxi driver Chris Jesty, a Wainwright enthusiast, was determined that the guides should live on." "After ten years of trying, he persuaded the publishers to update them." "This path here, is this actually in the original?" "In his original?" "No, no, that's a new one." " Yeah?" " And the one we're on is new." "So this is the sort of thing that you're looking out for." " Exactly." " You're looking out to say..." "Now he's faithfully retracing every Wainwright route, adding new details as he goes." "Chris and I are tackling Cat Bells... a modest, rolling mountain which rises gently from the western shore of the Derwentwater just south of Keswick." "According to Wainwright, it's one to climb after a good dinner." "Not a great challenge, but with a rewarding view of the best of the Lakes." "And on the way up, Chris has a keen eye for any detail that needs updating, using the very latest in global positioning systems." "Chris, why do you have two GPS?" "Well, I don't know if you've noticed it, but mechanical things tend to play up." "And how these things play up is they like to tell you you're somewhere when you're actually somewhere else." "But if I have two of these and they both tell me I'm in the same place" " then I know they're telling the truth." " Right." "If one of them tells you you're somewhere and the other one tells you somewhere else, then you know that one of them's lying." "So when that happens, I get a third one out of my rucksack." " You've got three?" " l have." "Then that will tell me which one's telling the truth and which one's lying." "Chris learned his map-drawing skills during a stint with the Ordnance Survey." "I get the feeling that his attention to detail is a source of pride to him." "Chris, when did you start all this?" "I can tell you to the day." "It was the 2nd of June 2003." "And the reason I remember that is that it was exactly 50 years from the announcement of the first ascent of Everest." "How long is it going to take, do you think?" "Well, I've finished three volumes in three years, so that's seven volumes for the pictorial guides and then plus the outlying fells, which I am committed to doing." "If I do all that, it should probably take about ten years." "Ah." "Now, that's what I was looking for." " There's the clump." " That clump." "We'll just go up and have a quick look at that." "OK." "Chris has only taken one day off since he began the project." "He starts walking every day at 5am, taking advantage of every hour of daylight." "Making slow but methodical progress, we finally reach the summit of Cat Bells." "From there, we could see just how accurate" "Wainwright's detailed illustrations and directions really were." "So there's Hindscarth and Robinson from Cat Bells." "There they are." "Yes, I have so much confidence in these panoramas, I never check those." "So you can put everything in place cos there's Robinson." "And Hindscarth, up that way." "It had been just as Wainwright promised, a gentle walk with a beautiful panorama." "What I really like about Wainwright is that his emphasis is not at all on the challenge." "He's always showing the easy route, in fact, and how friendly the fells are." ""Words cannot adequately describe" ""the rare charm of Cat Bells, nor its ravishing view." ""But no publicity is necessary." ""lt has a bold, 'Come hither' look that compels one's steps" ""and no suitor ever returns disappointed."" "His emphasis is on the beauty." "And he seeks to inspire people to come." "And when people do come, they can revel in the extraordinary scenery that Wainwright and Wordsworth enthused about." "This breathtaking landscape has become precious to us." "So much so that the National Trust, set up by disciples of Wordsworth in 1 895, has bought just over 200 square miles of the Lake District in order to conserve it." "Their land includes over 90 farms, like this one, Black Hall, 1 2 miles south of Cat Bells." "Owning farms is the National Trust's way of making sure that the scenery of the Lake District is protected." "But it is a complicated relationship between tradition and the landscape." "Hello." "Don't...don't..." "Don't!" "Don't!" "Back!" "Come on, come on!" " Come on!" "Get in!" "Go on in." "Tony Temple leases Black Hall from the National Trust." "He's taking me to look at a particularly important breed of sheep." "These are Herdwick sheep, are they?" "And what's the particular quality that relates to them?" "Their hardiness is the main quality." "They're the only breed of sheep that can survive and do well on these mountains." "And that's an old breed." "Some people say it's a Viking breed." "That's what I've been led to believe." "Herdwicks are unique to these mountains." "But they're almost worthless." "Their fleece will sell for just ten pence but it costs seven times that to shear it." "So to prevent the breed from disappearing altogether and to maintain the centuries-old appearance of these bare uplands, the National Trust gives money to Tony to keep Herdwicks." "We get paid to look after the sheep, to keep them on the mountain, to maintain the walls and just keep it looking like it is, really." "So we're paid to keep the mountains how you want to see them." "All this is only possible because the Herdwick sheep have a unique relationship with the mountains." "They have a natural instinct that keeps them connected to these hills." "Come on!" "Come on." "Come on." "Tony is skilfully shepherding his ewes to the mountain gate but once they're there, amazingly, they won't need any more looking after." "Come on." "Herdwick sheep are what's known here as heafed." "It means they have a built-in homing device." "Like salmon swimming up the river of their birth, they know exactly where they're going." "Laddie." "Laddie." " Now this is the fell gate." " This is the fell gate." " So we're gonna open this..." " Yep." "And then they'll just go off." "Yeah." "They'll spread out over this mountain." "And they go off and find their own place?" "They'll head back to where they were born and raised as lambs and they should go back to that area." "They don't all, but most of them should go back to that area." "Marvellous thing, isn't it?" "A marvellous thing, how it all fits together." "Yeah, yeah. lt isn't just something that happens overnight." "While we'd been chatting, the flock had waited patiently by the gate ready to go to their hillside home." "Do you know, I think what makes them feel so well-behaved, is the fact that they do it all so quietly." "The silence of the lambs." "The sheep keep the hills looking the way that people want them to be." "In fact, it's the way that Wordsworth wanted them to be." "It's as if we've fallen in love with a particular image of the Lake District." "An antique landscape." "We can't bear to think of it any other way." "Thanks to farms like Tony's, the mountains have barely changed in 300 years." "We seem to want to preserve a region in a moment in time." "This is the landscape that Turner, Constable and Gainsborough painted in the 1 800s." "They wanted to capture the soul, or the essence, of the place." "In the same tradition, people continue to seek to record the elusive quality of mountain scenery." "Gordon Stainforth is a renowned landscape photographer." "For him, the spirit of the Lake District is a particularly compelling one, and he believes dramatic weather can be the key to it." "He doesn't mind that it's blowing a gale on Hardknott hill today." "He spends his life waiting for the perfect moment, after having climbed for hours and sometimes days, in search of the ideal location." " What are we looking for here?" " A superb viewpoint up Eskdale here." " Yes." " ln fact, Scafell is under that cloud there." " OK." " And I think if we go about 50 yards onto that grass, we'll be able to see into Eskdale and into the valley bottom." "Very good." "We battled on against the wind to find the vantage point that Gordon was seeking." "Wow." "That's pretty good." "That's the very spot." "So this is part of your job, to just find the ideal place, and sit there until you get that break or the conditions you're looking for" " when the light suddenly shines down." " lt's horribly like waiting for a kettle to boil." "When you're in the right place, when you've got all the camera gear, it often doesn't behave." "The cloud moves in." "Gordon has perfected his art form over 20 years of photography and a lifetime of climbing." "Come on, then." "What camera do you use?" "This is a Hasselblad, a good old trusty workhorse." " lt's not a digital, then?" " No, it's the very opposite." "The whole body's made from one piece of metal." " Right." " Built like a tank." "So, Gordon, why did you start photographing mountains?" "It might sound pretentious but I'm much more interested in the place and nature on a grand scale than I am in photography in a way." "It's the place I'm interested in." "And on a really grand scale, like Coleridge, I'm more interested in how we relate really to the cosmos and the whole natural landscape." "Too many photographers think that photography is just about photography." "That sounds ridiculous." "What I mean is it's about the place and one's feelings for the place and how it touches the imagination." "And it's not just a thing of getting a nice visual image." "It's to try and give something of the huge landscape we're in and something of one's feelings for the place rather than just a pretty calendar type image." "Gordon aims to make more than a picture." "He wants to reveal the character of the Lake District and its effect on us, just like the Romantic poets and painters of 200 years ago." "It's a test of his eye...and his patience." "This is so typical of the Lakes, what we're seeing now." "And in fact I think it's lifting slightly towards Scafell." "And this is just the kind of day when it looks very, very unlikely, that you sometimes get something extraordinary happening." "You don't get anything extraordinary happening when it's all hot and sunny and hazy." "But after hours of sitting patiently in the wet..." "Gordon called it a day." "For us, the clouds refused to budge." "The next morning, the wind had died down, the clouds had finally lifted, and Gordon had come up with a much more ambitious idea." "Ominously, we were joined by a rock-climbing instructor, Phil Poole." "We were heading up to Napes Needle, a dramatic pinnacle which clings to the flank of Great Gable." "It's a towering, pyramid-shaped mountain a mile and a half north of Scafell in the heart of the Lake District." "Gordon had decided he wanted to take a photograph of me on top of the Needle." "And, naively, I agreed." "Gordon's plan was to recreate one of the earliest examples of mountain photography." "A 1 901 picture of some climbers on the Needle." "It was taken by the Abraham brothers, who were pioneers of mountain photography in the 1 890s." "George and Ashley Abraham were besotted with rock climbing and they filmed their own exploits." "Even though the camera equipment at that time was heavy and cumbersome, they hauled it up into the hills and were amongst the first to do so." "Today, Gordon needs little more than a Hasselblad and a tripod and a willing accomplice." "And perhaps a bit more visibility than yesterday." "Here we are." "What a view that is." "That's..." "That's Wastwater, is it?" " Wastwater, yes." " And Wasdale." "As we get closer, Great Gable gets steeper and we find ourselves right beneath the Needle." "There it is, Griff." "Do you know, now I've got my hat on I can't see anything." "Ooh, yes." "It's got a real Easter Island quality, hasn't it?" "The point about this piece of rock is it was the first real rock climb of any seriousness done in 1886." "And people like the Abraham brothers were the first photographers to take dramatic climbing pictures." "So that's what we're going to try and do today." " Great." " Get a picture of you on Napes Needle." "Napes Needle is a frankly terrifying column of rock towering 60 feet into the air with a drop of 400 feet on the other side of it." "Gordon will have to position himself on a ledge opposite just as George Abraham did in 1901 ." " Look straight across." " So we divide up now?" " l think so." " Phil and I go on." " And you go off..." " l trundle into position, yeah." " Right, OK." " Right." "I was just going to wear a fleece." "is that all right?" "As Phil got me roped up, the reality of what we were doing began to dawn on me." "I'm hanging on for dear life and I'm sitting on a great big chair up here." "OK." "I'm a virgin rock climber." "I've got to try and get myself up a vertical rock face in the name of photography." "And if that wasn't bad enough, I had to watch Phil treat it as if it were a giant stepladder." "That's a tricky one." " Well, it's not too bad." " lsn't it?" "OK, take your word for it." "Are you still there?" "Nearly there." "Right-oh." "I feel so happy here." "Just sat on this large ledge of rock, looking around." "You mind if I stay here for another hour or two?" "I'm afraid not." "With Gordon in position and Phil secured on the Needle, there was no putting it off any longer." "Climb when you're ready now." "I've got you." " OK, I'm coming up now." " Right, up you come, then!" "Just take your time." "I've got to try and work this out now." "Oh, dear." "It all comes flooding back." "I'm in the school gym." ""Come on, boyl You can do it." ""Use those shoulders. "" "Well, I didn't have any shoulders when I was ten and I don't think I've grown any in the intervening 43 years." "Hang on!" "I'm a wee bit stuck for where to go next." "Moving..." " Hang on." " Just keeping the rope tight on you." "All right." "I feel like I'm leaning...out." " Good on you." "Well done." " Wait a minute." "You're doing fine." "That's it, yeah." "Yeah, Phil was doing his bit to calm me down." "I had all my weight on my fingertips and my heart in my mouth." "And although I was tied on," "I didn't really want to go banging about like a soap on a rope." "It's a bit thrutchy, this stretch." "It looks like the side of a house." "That's because it is." "As you get higher, the footholds get better." " Do they?" " Yeah, honest." "Just when I thought it couldn't get worse, it got worse." "It felt like someone had been polishing the side of the Needle." " All right." " Well done." "Yes, excellent." " That's it." " l'm gonna slip!" "Well done." "Yes." "Out to your left, there's some good handholds now." "Look out to your left if you can." "Way out to the left." "There you go." "Excellent." "Yeah, good." "It's hard work, innit?" "It's more than hard for me, mate. I feel... I..." "I just don't have the physical strength..." " No, you're doing great." "..to heave myself up." "A couple more moves and then you're on easier ground." "Well done." "Some six days later, or so it seemed..." "I reached Phil's vantage point." "Come up just to the right." " All right." " Just step over that and sit down there." "Yeah." "Well done, Griff." "Hey." "Congratulations, mate." "You did fantastic." "Well done." "I couldn't do that at all." "I think you did well." "You must have done it cos l can't pull you up." "You climbed it." "That was really good." "Yeah, well..." "Thanks, Phil." "I felt flabby and clumsy." "I had to scrape my way up using every bit of energy I had." "Gordon got his photograph, a near replica of the Abraham picture with a terrified novice hanging on for dear life." "Napes Needle had certainly been an experience for me." "And climbing it had been a bit more of a challenge than I'd expected." "When you get up there and there's a sort of crack and there's nothing for you to put your feet on." "I'm gonna slip!" "is rock climbing for me?" "I think I know the answer to that." "Perhaps there are some aspects of nature that are best appreciated from a distance." "But nothing detracts from the wonderful revelation that the Lakes have been." "They are as inspiring today as they were over 300 years ago when people first began to visit these mountains and wondered at their beauty and experienced their power." "This is mountain country that can be appreciated by anyone, as Wordsworth wrote," ""who has a eye to perceive and a heart to enjoy. "" "Next time on Mountain, I'll be visiting the Central Highlands of Scotland." "I'll explore the vast Cairngorm range, attempt to reach Britain's highest summit, Ben Nevis, and find out how we tamed this wild landscape."

"POLISH TELEVISION presents the TV series realised by AKSON STUDIO" "Starring:" "THE TIME OF HONOR season 6" "Last episode" "Goodbye." "Do you understand?" "Open only on the agreed password." "We must organise the transport to Germany." " I found Kmicic's lot." " I'll organise a hunt." "They have loads of dosh." "Dollars." " You're now a citizen of the U.S." " Thank you." "Can you help me hide this?" "I can trust only you." "What are you talking about here?" "How to give up our hearts and minds for rebuilding our country." " I brought something as a sweetener." " Want to get away with a few rings?" "Give me time, I'll get the 30,000." "Run!" "Run!" "Jesus..." "CONFRONTATION episode 74" "Finally." "What happened?" " Nothing." " Nothing?" "!" "You were out all night." "I'm sorry, I couldn't let you know." "I was worried about you." "I had an important meeting." "A new network is created." "You'd be useful in organising." "Me?" "Trusted people are worth their weight in gold." "So?" "No, Michal, I can't." "I have Jas now, I have to live for him." "But I know someone who could be useful to you." "I can arrange a meeting." "Are you feeling ill?" "No, I'm fine." "Leave it, I'll wash up, you dry the glasses." "5 minutes." "Tola," " is something hurting you?" " My stomach." " From those experiments." " Go home, have a lie down." " But you won't manage by yourself." " Don't worry, I will." "You rest, you'll feel better tomorrow and we'll find you a good..." "Never will a doctor touch me again!" "The doctor said you were very lucky." "I'll squash him like a bug." "Are you so strong now?" "Be happy I'm alive." "But I am, Emilka." "Darling, I am..." " but they killed our child." " Stop it, get a grip." "you're making a fool out of yourself." "Go now." "I want to sleep." "Go on..." "Yes, you sleep, love." "Excuse me, does any one of you have a nail file?" "A chain, a watch?" "No, thank you." "I feel like I'm at Kercelak here." "Did you have a think about what I said?" "You can count on me." "But I don't want Wanda to know about it." " Will you set me up with Janisz?" " Yes." " I need to talk to him about Rainer." " Rainer?" "Let Janisz give an official execution order." "What are you talking about?" "This worm should be in some German prison." "What prison?" "Did Celina not tell you anything?" "What was Celina to tell me?" " Finally you knock like a man." " Why didn't you tell me?" " About what?" " Rainer." "They promised they'd give him to us." " How could you?" " They kept their word." " How could you agree to it?" " You can now execute him." "Not Rainer, you." "How could you work with a killer?" " Is the U.S. passport so crucial?" " No more." " So what is?" " I want to stay with you!" "Stop glancing around, we're safe." " What is it?" " I need a gun." " That's not what we agreed." " Nothing to do with it." "I don't have such possibilities." "I have to hide, they're after me." "We don't understand each other." "If you don't get me a gun soon, then you can forget our plan." "It's not blackmail," "It's facts." "Is everything clear now?" " Someone recognised you." " No." "Thank you for your care but I only need a gun from you." "Anything interesting?" "This should be enough." "Keep checking every day in the agreed place." "Is our agreement intact?" "I keep my word, Herr Karkowski, you do your thing." "Good morning." " Good morning." " This is the friend I mentioned." "Wojciechowski, a pleasure." "I am glad that you're with us." " Got a gun and ammo." " It's irrelevant." " Irrelevant?" " It will be a cadre organisation," "I'm not anticipating any armed action." "Sit down, gentlemen." "So what are we going to be doing?" "Give out leaflets?" "I am glad to see your enthusiasm for fighting but an armed rising against communists is out of the question." "You sound like you're saying that we've lost already." "Not at all." "If we save people such as you, it'll be a mass social resistance movement." "Communism won't last more than 5 or 10 years." "How long?" "Gentlemen, you're young, impatient, I understand, but the West left us to ourselves." "Of course they'll protest but they won't lift a finger for us." "We must ready ourselves for years of lonely resistance." "Now it's most important to prepare a representation of all patriotic organisations." " An underground parliament?" " Yes." " Who can we count on?" " Hold on, one more thing." "We know that the former Gestapo chief Rainer is in Warsaw." "Really?" " Have they found him?" " No, we know where he's hiding." "We want to execute him." " Pardon?" " He's sentenced by the HA court." "The Home Army's gone." "That doesn't mean we are to forget his crimes?" "On what grounds would you be doing it?" "Because there's no one else?" "I do not allow any mob law, let the communists do it." "Let's get back to our business." "Sit down." "How many forest commanders can we count on?" "An underground parliament." "How does he see this social resistance movement?" "I don't know." "What's a cadre organisation?" "Maybe we'll read archbishop Sapieha's sermons?" "Cardinal." " What should we do with Rainer?" " We won't give him away to the SO?" " Let's involve Wladek." " I'll manage myself." "The thing is you shouldn't be on your own with it." "Maybe you're right..." "We should all be present at it." " I'll send him a message." " No." "Where can I find him?" "His heart may not withstand the operation." "We have no choice." " But that's long narcosis." " I know." " Maybe we should wait another day?" " We have to risk it." "This man has only one chance." " I like you like this." " Like what?" "Doctor, the meeting will take place on Wednesday" " in the store room after dinner." " Thank you." "Did you talk to him?" "Yes, he made his mind up." "Are you sure we can trust him?" "If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be here." "Who is this courier?" "An emissary, he brought money for the underground." "How do you know it's not a provocation?" " He's my friend." " Morning." "I vouch for him with my life." "Fine." "Set us up." "I hear you split up with Celina." " It's complicated." " No?" "A few days ago I'd have said yes." " Something's happened?" " Yes, something's happened." " And you and Wanda?" " It's complicated." "Where are you off to?" " Strzalka..." " Lieutenant..." " Hi." "And him?" " Also a lieutenant." "Fine." "You lead." "Come on." "Lieutenant, they're looking for you." "What is it?" "Bronek..." " What are you doing here, man?" " I was nearby, I thought I'd pop in." "Brother?" " Won't you say hello?" " I will, hello." "Come here." "Good you're back." "I'm really glad that you confessed your guilt." "It's makes things easier." "But you understand we must check everything." "Bring him in." " What is this?" " Nothing, a confrontation." "Confrontation?" "What confrontation?" "I signed everything you wanted." "Do you recognise her?" "Yes, that's her." "Thank you, take him away." "What is this?" "I'd never seen this German before." "It's enough that he's seen you." "This is a lie." "You won't make me a collaborator!" " I didn't inform the Germans." " Take her away!" "I didn't inform the Germans." "I won't sign anything again!" "You'll find nothing else from me." "Rainer?" "This son of a bitch is still alive?" "They didn't hang him?" " How do you know he's in Warsaw?" " I saw him with my own eyes." " I think we should do it together." " I'm up for it." "And what about Janisz?" "He's free." "He's free?" "How did you do that?" "He'll tell you when you meet up." "I'm not sure I want to talk with him." "What is it?" "You don't trust him?" "Wladek is waging his own private war." "Why are you looking to the West?" "They send in some clerk and you wag your tail." "Janisz is no clerk, he's a colonel in the same army as yours." "Sent by not the West but our headquarters." "They disbanded both the Home Army and the Delegacy." "Maybe he's come to disband us?" " So why did he bring the money?" " Yeah, why?" "Guys, let us not talk like that." " Let's go back, it's our last train." " Hold on." "Jelen!" " Jelen!" " Yes sir." "I must go for a few days, you'll take the lead." " Anything coming up?" " No, it's more personal." " Amazing you survived it." " I still have something to do." "The wound is healing very well." "Thank you, doctor." "Have you informed...?" "Of course, should be here any time." " Good morning." " Good morning." "I'll leave you alone." "I have important information." " So quickly?" " Not about the underground." " Rainer is in Warsaw." " Who?" "Obersturmbannfuhrer Lars Rainer, the former chief of the Gestapo." "As far as I know, Rainer is in an American prison." "Negotiations to pass him to us are underway." "He's staying at the Royal hotel." "Eat, darling." "A cherry." "You're getting your colour back." "So you found the guy with the money?" "Got him against the wall." "But first I'll deal with the one who shot you." " No." " It's nice, eat." "No, you won't resurrect the child." "First money, then revenge." "Rainer won't wait forever." "Relax, Emilka." "You shouldn't get upset." "I'll go now." " Apples..." " The money." "Why are these potatoes so expensive?" "I'll have to go to Ochota for supplies." "What, you're going to transport them on the tram?" "Here delivery is free." "Right to your café." "Fine, let it be." " They'll be there in 10 minutes." " Thank you." "Good morning, the young girl that was here just now, what did she sell?" "Is it your business?" "Would you rather talk to the militia?" "Enough of this." "You've not become a communist overnight." "What is it, Otto?" "I'm asking you." "Hans is alive," "he's in a labour camp." "They said they'd let him go if I comply." "So much of a communist in me..." "Don't believe it." "The Gestapo used the same methods." "What if he really is alive?" "They showed me his photograph." "But it's a lie." "Do you understand?" "They just want to use you." "It must be some American operation." "If Rainer managed to escape, he'd never come back to Warsaw." "Possible." "I'm asking you, because if Americans are involved, this is political." "Rightly so." "So should we get Rainer or not?" "Leave it." "Germany lost, we have other issues." "But comrade colonel, this is the former chief of the Gestapo." "Do you really think you brought some revelation here?" "You knew Rainer was in Warsaw and didn't tell us?" "This matter does not involve you." "So I am to undertake no action?" "You got it." "Goodbye." "Are you feeling well?" "Yes, fine." "I did as you said," " I had a rest and it just went." " I saw you at the market." "Me?" "No, I was at home, you must have made a mistake." "Did I make this mistake too?" "I used to be different." "What have they done to me?" "I'm trying to change, really but I'm not managing it." "Ms Helena!" "Ms Helena, I have only you in the world." "Please don't throw me out, I'll fix it." "Get up, Tola." "Get up." "Get up!" " Good morning." " Good morning." "Please introduce yourselves." "Majerski." " Konarski." " Lena told me everything about you." "I hope not everything." "We'd have nothing to say." " Please sit down." " I'll leave you alone." " Stay, please." " Sure, Lena." "We'll need an experienced contact." "Yes..." "Before we begin I'd like to know the name of the emissary you brought here." "I thought we'd trust each other." "Janisz." "Colonel Janisz?" " You know him?" " Heard of him." "A great man." "Excellent." "Lena said you have an extensive contact network." "Have you been here long?" "Sir...?" "Relax." "I'm a doctor." "What is the matter?" "Can you hear me?" "Hans?" "Son..." "It's me..." "Hans..." "Hear me?" "Look at me." "Please..." "Hans, look, it's me." "Son, you're alive..." "Son..." "Unfortunately he's in this state." "He didn't do well in the camp." "But with good care he'll come round in no time." "I thought our doctor won't believe my words." "The Nazis did that, promised that they'd let someone go and the poor sod had been long dead." "Take him." "Let me go!" "What did you do to him?" "!" "Stop." "Most important thing is he's alive." "Now it's all down to you." "Hans, son..." "I'll get you now, I'll catch you." "Come here." "Come here." "I'll catch you..." "Oi..." "Katia..." " See, smartypants?" " Katia, go to your room to play." "I won't interrupt." "Go." "I'd like to talk to uncle." "Don't want any cake?" "Off you trot." "I talked to Lebedev about Rainer." " And?" " Uninterested, as if protecting him?" "Curious..." "First that German doctor, now Rainer." "What are you suggesting?" "I'm just surprised at this weakness towards Germans." "But you don't think Lebedev..." "I don't know." "Thank you." "Boss, a new volunteer is here." " Fine, let him in." " In!" " Good day, comrade lieutenant." " Good day, sit down." "Talk quickly, I have lots of work." "I work at the Warsaw Reconstruction Office." " I'm a draftsman." " Very well but get on with it." "Not everyone has the right attitude towards the people's authority." "But be specific, names, address, none of this rubbish." "For example Lena Sajkowska-Markiewicz." " Who?" " Sajkowska-Markiewicz." "Talk, why are you waiting?" "Where is Blachnitzky?" "None of your business." "It is now." "Well?" "Did you know I saved your life before?" "Really?" "Thank you very much." "Where is he?" "I won't tell you anything." "You Gestapo svolochi." "Svolochi?" "Our friends the Russians..." "Did you know I never tortured prisoners myself?" "But believe me, I know how." "Where did you take Blachnitzky to?" "Where?" "!" "Come in." "Security Office." "Ms Lena Sajkowka?" "Yes, what is it?" "I hear you act against the state." "That's a lie." "Does the name Majerski mean anything to you?" "It's my boss at work." "And the commander of a gang." "You took part in a meeting with an American spy Michal Konarski." "Am I to continue?" "Who's the pretty boy?" " How old are you?" " What is this?" "This..." "It's a toy for the adults." "What do you want?" "Shame such a pretty child will have to grow up in some orphanage." "You know for this you'll get at least 25 years." " If not capital punishment." " I have no money." "But your tenant has." "A rucksackful." "And don't complain to him." "They in the West don't get our problems." "If I get the money, the information on professor Majerski and your colleagues will go in the bin and it stays between us." "If not, the mummy of this pretty boy will be able to see him when he's much bigger." "You have three days." " Jas..." " Yes?" " Will you give mum a hug?" " Yes." "Stasiek was an apache, every street knew" "In dens where ugly life is humming" "His lover was a street girl" "Who sells her body on a corner" "But Stasiek loved his Hanka." "Though beat her often until she bled..." "She's here." "Celina..." "I thought I'd never see you again." "I hear you can't do without me, so I'm here." "Where's Rainer?" "In the hotel." "Not suspecting anything." "Thank you for helping us." "Wait." "Why can't we meet him at the hotel restaurant?" "The American embassy is safer." "Ms Celina, tell me the truth." "Do you know what I think?" "That there's no meeting." "You don't need me anymore." "Americans just want to liquidate me, right?" "Don't worry, it's a provocation to put you off your stroke." "They want to set me up." "Rudnicka!" "Out." "With my things?" "Not this time." "Out." "What's going on here?" "What are the photographs for?" "Shut up, you SS bitch and don't move." "What's the matter, man?" "I don't know why there's the trial." "Everyone who served the Gestapo should be hanged without trial." "I've had nothing to do with the Gestapo." "It's all lies!" "Guard!" "All friends, I see." "Gentlemen, the war is over." "Can't you understand it?" " It is coming to an end now." " Underground Poland..." "The Russians took Blachnitzky!" " The Russians got him!" " Who?" "NKVD or GRU, I don't know exactly but I know where he is..." " What is he talking about?" " This could be true." " Not our issue." " Give me 10 min." " He's bluffing." " I'll check it." " Celina!" " Celina, it's not our business!" "I don't know who but I know where he is." "I do." "I've been looking for you." "I can't find Blachnitzky anywhere." "There's another thing." "I don't get it." "I think I know who did this." "We're not interested in Blachnitzky." "That's your business." "If you help us, the American government can return a favour." "We've had enough of your marks of gratitude." "You have nothing to offer us." "What about a release from prison?" "Quite a large group of Soviet spies is in our hands." "We'll exchange them for our men." "We could put one of yours on the list, if you can think of a name." "Enough." "This kraut has to pay for his crimes." "Bronek!" "Ruda..." "How many people are needed?" "In the next episode" "We agree." "We'll get Blachnitzky in exchange for Rudnicka." "It looks like you're in luck, Rainer." "We'll still need you." "Wladek!" "What are you doing here?" "Why haven't you ran away?" "This man will never stop chasing you." "Not without you." " We counted 16 soldiers." " A fortress." " We won't manage alone." " Blachnitzky may go to Moscow." "What do you suggest?" "I can't order them to risk their lives for a Yank business." " But don't you understand..." " I do." "Ruda is my personal business." "Subtitles:" "Anna Lycett DUBBFILM"

"The Cape of Good Hope, on Africa's southerly tip." "Here, two great seas meet." "One, the warm Indian Ocean, the other, the chilly Atlantic." "And as they mingle, so they create a billowing cloak that drapes the summit of Table Mountain." "Spectacular though this is, the mountain's cloudy covering is only a hint of the profound influence that these two very different oceans have on the fortunes of life here." "And not just here at the Cape, but across the length and breadth of southern Africa." "Two thousand miles north from the Cape, beneath this sandy beach, new life is stirring." "Hundreds of baby green turtles emerge like a torrent from the safety of their nest." "Each one, just seven centimetres long, must make a hundred-metre sprint down the beach." "From the moment they hatch, they're driven by an instinctive urge to run to the sea." "Few creatures start life with the odds for success so heavily stacked against them." "Yellow-billed kites." "Pied crows." "But so many of these hatchlings appear together, that predators can't catch them all." "Last out, this baby might seem doomed." "But struggling out late could just give her a chance." "The crows seem insatiable." "Even those that reach the sea aren't safe." "This female has to make a dash for it." "She's still in danger, and not just from above." "A ghost crab may be smaller than the hatchling, but it has the strength to drag her into its lair." "Not this time." "At last, the sea." "She has to catch a breath if she's not to drown, but the pounding waves make it desperately difficult." "Beyond the surf, calmer water, but even here, the hatchling is not out of danger." "She dives." "Just in time." "Only one hatchling in a thousand will survive to adulthood, but if she does, she may live for 80 years." "For now, the ocean is there to be explored." "As the hatchling disappears into the deep blue, she swims into the waters of one the planet's most powerful currents." "The Agulhas." "The Agulhas sweeps south towards the Cape, transporting a hundred billion gallons of warm water every day." "These tropical seas are so warm, they evaporate on an enormous scale." "Water vapour rises until, at altitude, it cools and condenses into clouds." "As the clouds drift inland, they bring rain to one of the least- explored corners of our planet." "The mountains of Mozambique." "THUNDERCLAP" "This the wettest place in southern Africa." "Decades of civil war have kept travellers away from this little-known land." "It was satellite mapping that revealed the full extent of the forest that grows here, so now it's known to outsiders as the Google rainforest." "It could also be called the butterfly forest." "After the rains, butterflies have emerged together in huge numbers." "As soon as their wings dry out, they will take to the air." "Their goal?" "To find a mate." "But how?" "There may be thousands close by, but the foliage is so thick, it's difficult for them to find each other." "They have a remarkable solution." "They follow rivers upstream and travel to higher ground." "The journey can take hours of determined flying." "Eventually they emerge into the only open space there is." "The treeless peak of Mount Mabu." "Up here, free from the confines of the forest, they hold a butterfly ball." "Now the butterflies have all the space they need for their aerobatic courtship." "The male's strategy is simple." "Fly higher and faster than the competition, and just maybe you'll win a virgin female." "This spectacular gathering, unseen by outsiders until now, happens for just half an hour each morning and for just a few weeks in the year." "Once mated, the females descend back to the rainforest to lay their eggs." "A forest that only exists because of moisture rising from the warm Agulhas current hundreds of miles away in the Indian Ocean." "The rainwater now flows southwards from Mozambique's highest peaks to the lowlands of the Eastern Cape." "And where the land flattens, rivers slow, creating a vast swamp 50 miles across." "This is Gorongosa." "Here, all kinds of creatures come to catch fish." "Whiskered catfish work as a team." "They take a gulp of air at the surface and then belch it out underwater to create a net of bubbles." "And that traps little fish." "There are fish for everyone." "And each species has its own technique for catching them." "It's all very well having a big beak, but you've still got to know how to use it." "This young pelican has a lot to learn... ..and not long to do so." "Maybe, like the catfish, teamwork is the answer." "It's certainly working for the flock, and this pelican seems to be getting the hang of it." "But surely it can't swallow that catfish?" "Trying to was a mistake." "The rainwater, briefly held in Gorongosa's swamp, has now been enriched with silt and sand." "All down this coast, sediment-laden rivers - the Zambezi, the Limpopo, the Save - drain back to the sea," "and there they meet the Agulhas current." "And what happens to all that sand?" "Over the millennia, the Agulhas has worked it into a complex underwater landscape." "This vast sand sculpture is the Bazaruto Archipelago, the oldest of its kind in the world." "It may look like paradise, but living here is not easy." "For 100,000 years, the Agulhas Current has battered these submerged dunes with underwater sandstorms." "But where the water is deep enough to escape these storms, nutrients carried from Africa's interior fuel an explosion of life." "A rare oceanic hunter rules here." "Giant Kingfish." "As big as a man, and weight for weight, one of the most powerful fish in the sea." "Despite their size, they're extraordinarily agile when hunting." "Normally kingfish are solitary, but for just a few weeks each year, they gather at places like Bazaruto and prepare for an extraordinary journey." "One that will take them far inland." "The Mtentu River." "A king of kingfish leads them upstream." "As they travel further into fresh water, they seem to change from aggressive hunters into dedicated pilgrims." "Now, many miles from their natural home, and in response to an unknown cue, they stop and begin to circle." "Other marine fish that migrate upriver usually do so in order to breed, but there's no evidence that these kingfish spawn up here." "Neither do they hunt." "So what are they doing?" "In truth, the purpose of this strange behaviour is still unknown." "Within a few weeks, they will retrace their journey back to the ocean." "The lives of kingfish, like those of turtles and butterflies and pelicans, are influenced by the Agulhas Current." "But that influence can only reach so far." "And this is why." "The Drakensberg mountains." "Here, local people say that the vultures soar so high, they can see into the future." "These sheer cliffs, rising to over 3,000 metres, hold back the advancing rain clouds and, as a result, the land beyond them is starved of water." "This is the greatest expanse of sand in the world." "A seemingly-endless desert that is the vast parched centre of Southern Africa." "Thousands of miles to the west, where this desert meets the Atlantic Ocean, another current prevails." "But the Benguela Current, surging up the west side of Africa, has a very different character." "It's extremely cold, full of nutrients and it's thronged with life." "A great white shark." "They can raise their body temperature to 10 degrees above that of the surrounding sea." "But doing so requires an enormous amount of high-grade fuel." "So this is a great bonanza for them - the body of a dead whale." "The carcass will draw in every great white for miles around." "And here, off Cape Town, that means a lot of sharks." "Instead of feeding in a frenzy, these sharks have rather refined table manners." "They swim side-by-side to get the measure of each other." "Then each takes its turn." "This female is the biggest, so she eats first." "The next only feeds when she gives way." "The waters of the Benguela are so rich, they support more great white sharks than any other seas on the planet." "And they are so cold, they attract some surprising creatures to these African shores." "Penguins." "African penguins." "This female is returning to relieve her partner." "Of course there's no ice here, but these rocks can be almost as slippery." "But there are more serious obstacles than the slippery rocks awaiting them." "It's his turn to feed, so he leaves her to look after their eggs." "Now she must tackle a problem faced by no other kind of penguin." "For the next 10 days, she must protect her eggs from the African sun." "A dense coat of feathers that keeps her warm in cold seas now stifles her." "On these exposed rocks, she must shade her eggs instead of keeping them warm." "Everything here seems the wrong way round." "For some, the soaring temperature is too much." "A neighbour deserts his nest." "His egg will not survive." "He's not the only one to give up." "Some years, not a single chick is reared." "Penguins are adapted to withstand temperatures of 40 degrees below zero, not 40 degrees above." "Now, at the hottest part of the day, the very worst time, her chicks are hatching." "Just when they need her most, she's reaching the limit of her endurance." "After 10 days of intensive fishing, the chicks' father comes back to take his turn at the nest." "But will he be too late?" "He greets his young for the very first time." "The coolness of the Benguela Current brought the penguins here but that very coolness is a great disadvantage, because it generates little rain." "It can, however, produce moisture in a different form." "A thick blanket of fog rolls in from the sea and condenses on this thirsty land." "And each year, the desert bursts into life with a dazzling display." "Water is so scarce that this show will not last long, so plants compete to attract their pollinators with colour." "Here in Namaqualand, a 600-mile strip of coastal desert becomes carpeted with blooms." "The morning sun opens a Namaqua daisy, and reveals a male monkey beetle asleep inside." "Nights here are so cold that monkey beetles shelter within the closed-up petals of the daisies." "The habit brings benefits to both sides." "The beetle is kept warm and the flower gets pollinated." "But now the beetle has urgent business." "He must find a mate." "As he searches, he hops from bloom to bloom, pollinating each in turn." "At last he spots a potential mate." "A golden princess." "But here comes trouble." "A rival." "There's no time for introductions." "But he's been too slow." "The rivals immediately begin to brawl." "The female will only mate inside the daisy, so they wrestle for possession." "They're so engrossed in fighting, they've pushed her off." "The challenger is ejected." "The winner wastes no time before getting back to business." "At last!" "Now there will be a new generation of monkey beetles to pollinate these Namaqualand flowers." "For most of the year this land is desperately dry, but just occasionally, brief, violent storms sweep in from the cold ocean." "Springbok have been roaming this desert for many months, searching for one of these rare and highly localised downpours." "The grass is sprouting." "And that is worth celebrating!" "If you're a springbok, that means pronking." "MUSIC: "Waltz of the Flowers" by Tchaikovsky" "We still don't know exactly why they do this." "The simplest answer is that they're dancing for joy." "Africa's most southerly tip." "This is where the two great ocean currents, the warm Agulhas and the cold Benguela, crash into one another." "And this collision, in itself, draws in life in abundance." "A super-pod of hunting dolphins, 5,000 strong." "And shadowing them..." "..Africa's biggest predator." "A Bryde's whale." "This female is 15 metres long and weighs more than a whole family of elephants." "The dolphins are in pursuit of sardines - millions of them." "But these cold-water fish are heading towards an impenetrable barrier of warm water that they will not cross, the Agulhas Current." "They're trapped." "And that gives the whale her chance." "But the sardines are so speedy that the whale only catches a few with each pass." "More and more hunters arrive." "The whale needs the other hunters to push the fish upwards, forcing them against the surface." "Now they have nowhere to escape." "With each lumbering turn she loses precious time, time that favours the more nimble." "The Bryde's whale probably knows that this opportunity will last less than five minutes." "And with the last few lunges, she finally cashes in." "The forces that triggered this great event have also shaped the fortunes of life far beyond this particular battleground." "Without these currents, Southern Africa would be a desert." "But combined, the very different powers of the Agulhas and the Benguela have transformed the Cape into a land where life can flourish." "The Comoro Islands off Africa's east coast are a haven for green turtles." "Every year, a million turtles hatch on these beaches, but the chances of any one of them surviving is tiny." "The Africa team came here to try and capture the dramatic first few minutes in the lives of these baby turtles." "It was to be both a technical, and surprisingly emotional challenge." "It's only when you get down on the eye level of the baby turtle that you realise what an enormous journey it's got to make down over the beach, and it really is quite epic." "That's fine." "Oh, yeah, that's lovely." "It's using all these complicated, heavy bits of equipment which hopefully will enable us to get into the world of a turtle which is just a few inches long." "As they break out of all the soft sand, they hit the hard sand and that's where the real sprint takes place." "They must be desperate to hit that water, because you can see the sea's just over the horizon." "We're following them all the way down and you do kind of get involved with them and cheering them on." "OK, slow down a bit." "Slow down." "And suddenly all these crows come flocking in and start picking them off and you just think, that's just so unfair." "Lots more coming in." "Just loads coming in now." "I do, God, I feel for them." "You know it's really quite upsetting and particularly when you're looking through the camera and I'm just filling frame with a turtle running down the beach, then suddenly from nowhere, a beak comes in and whoosh, that's it." "That turtle's no more." "The turtles that escape the perils of the beach still have to face pounding surf." "But, at last, they're in their element." "More than can be said for the crew." "They're faster than you, aren't they?" "Yep." "It's a bit embarrassing." "Beaten by something that's less than a day old." "When you see hatchlings get off the beach and going in the white water, you'd think they'd just get obliterated." "They just punch through the water - they do get flung around but then they just right themselves, keep on swimming and they're ahead of you, coming out the back of the wave and it's amazing." "You're seeing all these baby turtles getting picked off, left, right and centre, but they just keep going." "They are just so resilient." "And that made what happened next so distressing." "A particularly high spring tide flooded the beach." "Any baby turtles still in their nests would be lucky to survive." "See it bubbling out as well." "Yeah." "See the air." "Well, it means that basically anything below that line's going to be gone." "Let's hope and pray it's not, but..." "As you say, we don't know, let's wait and see." "All across the world, turtles are in decline." "Their eggs are stolen, the adults are hunted for their flesh and they drown in fishing nets." "But here in the Comoros, they have friends." "It's amazing here in Itsamia." "It's just a really heartening story of how the local people are doing everything they can to protect sort of what they think of as their turtles." "And some of the baby turtles have survived the flood tide." "The whole village comes to help the hatchlings." "But the most important effort is to protect the adults from outsiders who would hunt them for their meat." "They've taken it upon themselves to really police the beaches around here and make sure that poaching is kept to a minimum." "The selfless protection these people provide means that this is one of the few places in the world where turtle numbers are actually increasing." "And remarkably, here in Itsamia, the population has in fact doubled in the last decade." "As the shoot was coming to the end, cameraman Kevin Flay noticed that some of the turtles that made it through the surf faced one last danger." "I'm getting shots of a kite which is flying down and taking turtles off the water surface." "That was a part of the story we had to tell." "The aim is for us to be underwater, looking straight up as this happens, and that's actually really quite hard." "OK." "Three, two, one..." "Undeterred, the crew got into position." "There we go, the kite's up." "You can't see where you're going because my head's glued to this viewfinder, so I'm banging into rocks and things like that." "I'm really just trying to keep the turtle in shot." "Something came in then." "She came in and swooped down over the water's surface." "And you could see the kite from underwater?" "I could see it, I could see the shape." "In frame and you were running?" "Yep." "Didn't take the turtle." "Didn't take the turtle." "Probably that's the best of both worlds, because we got our lovely underwater shot of a kite and the turtle gets away!" "This lucky hatchling isn't the only one." "With the help of the village of Itsamia, thousands more have a chance to make it to the open ocean." "It's only really local populations that can actually support and sustain this conservation work." "If it comes from the roots upwards, then it's got a chance of success." "You know, I think it's amazing, I really do, the fact that they do this and you know we should see it more often around the world." "It's hard not to admire these extraordinary little creatures as they battle against such odds." "This baby turtle won't touch land again until she returns to the very same island to lay her own eggs." "With luck, she'll find the beach is still protected by the people of Itsamia." "Next time, the vast cauldron of the Sahara Desert." "This colossal wilderness covers one-third of the entire African continent." "To survive here, life is stretched to its very limits." "Simply being tough isn't enough." "Only the most extraordinary creatures will triumph." "Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd"

"We now return to Hunch." "There's your murderer." "Are you sure, Hunch?" "How do you know?" "Something about his hair..." "I don't know." "How did we miss that?" "Get him!" "You did it again, Hunch." "Let's go grab a bite." "You know what I'm in the mood for?" "Could it be... turkey?" "But how did you...?" "It's amazing they've gotten 512 shows out of this premise." "Remember when we saw Hunch's butt in the shower?" "That was two seasons ago." "Now you can only see butts on cable." "This is Kent Brockman, with an isotope baseball update." "The 'topes are in first place since the acquisition of home-run king Buck Mitchell." "Thanks to him, Springfield is once again overrun with fair-weather fans." "The isotopes are winning?" "To the bandwagon!" "Nothing beats a day at the ballpark with my family." "Tickets, tickets, who needs tickets?" "Homer, we need those tickets to get in." "Don't worry, I'll use the money I make to buy tickets from a scalper." "Then I'll sell those tickets, and we'll be rich." "Rich!" "We did it, baby." "We made it through the rain." "Tickets, $30." "Big game." "Everybody wants to see the game." "Cop!" "Act like you're in love with me." "Peanuts. $5 peanuts." "You want to know something, Bart?" "Nah, I know enough." "I, myself, played in this ballpark, back in nineteen forty-deuce." "That was during the war, when sushi was called" ""liberty logs," and no one had ever heard of it." "But grandpa, in 1942, they only played women's baseball here." "Let's just say one of the ladies had some extra equipment." "I was a center fielder for the Springfield floozies." "The pay wasn't much, but it kept me out of the war for a year." "Effie Lou is a man!" "Get him!" "He could threaten my record for lady triples." "That was a magical summer." "How'd I get here?" "Now, to sing our national anthem, payola recording artist Tabitha Vixx!" "She's married to Buck Mitchell." "I bet that's why she's here tonight honoring america." "Oh, say, can you see by the dawn'searly light... and now here's somethingfrom my new album." "I'm trouble-istic stay away, boy, 'causeyou know I'm trouble-istic think you can control me, you ain't being realistic" "Hey, Buck, how's it feel knowing your wife's turning on a creep like me?" "Weird, I bet." "Trouble-istic girlmakes your troublations grow double trouble-isticwhen you try to tell me no" "trouble, trouble,oh, yeah, trouble and the home of the brave." "she just embarrassed me in front of the entire tornado belt league." "So next up for the cosmos, Freddie Alvarado." "Freddie, of course,the older brother of the famous wolf boy of Juarez, Mexico." "Here's the pitch..." "And Buck Mitchell can't find the handle." "That's an e-3 if you're keeping score at home, and if you are, your loneliness saddens me." "It's okay, buck." "Bad hop, bad hop." "Shake it off, buck." "You suck!" "I concur!" "Bart, hand me that sack of batteries." "Nine volt!" "Double a!" "D!" "D!" "D!" "D!" "Cordless drill!" "Job himself never had a tougher day at the ball park than Buck Mitchell." "He's made six errors, struck out twice and swallowed a bee." "My fiancée!" "They're making a mockery out of amerisnack." "Comtroll doll night." "You know what to do, Duffman." "Oh, yeah!" "Time for the duff triple-malt kiss-cam!" "Oh, yeah!" "Oh, yeah!" "Duffman!" "But then he kissed me and then he kissed me... look, it's a thing." "Each time I saw him I couldn't wait to see him again..." "We both find public displays of affection vulgar." "Come on, doc, she'sa fine-looking woman." "You don't want to work that?" "I didn't know just what to do so I whispered "I love you..."" "Homer..." "Homer!" "Now we have to kiss." "The big tv istelling us to." "Look at that ugly old man." "That's you." "Give me a kiss, Homie." "Really?" "You'd kiss an ugly old man like me?" "Only if he'll kiss me back." "And then he kissed me and then he kissed me" "Yeah, Homer." "Suck that face." "Remember when we used to kiss like that, Carl?" "With our respective girlfriends." "Yeah, I wonder where Jill and Kelly are now?" "I heard Jill died." "Kelly, I think, is a prostitute." "what a game!" "I got on the kiss-cam,I participated in "the wave" and I go to pee in a trough." "Marge, can we get a trough?" "For the last time, no." "Iced tea!" "Hey, that was my ice tea." "I just sweetened itto my liking." "Buck Mitchell!" "The baseball-playing man." "I barely recognize you without your costume on." "Evening, ma'am." "I-I couldn't help seeing you two exchanging marital kisses tonight." "Yes, yes, the game you played so horribly at." "Well, unfortunately, my marriage ain't so good." "I never heard anything about it on the gossip shows or the blogosphere or in my supermarket checkout magazine." "I was wondering if you and the mister could give us some marriage counseling." "You know?" "In return, I can give you season tickets." "Season tickets?" "I could entertain business clients." "I might even land the Henderson account." "Homer, can I see you in the kitchen?" "Sure." "That means she want sto talk in private." "It's probably about you." "Homie, I don't think our marriage is so jim-dandy that we should be counseling others." "Hey, we've gone through more hardships than the jews and Charlie Brown put together." "Well, we have managed to squeeze a lot of fun out of married life." "That's just how I feel!" "See, that's what I want, care free intimacy with no edge of resentment." "Buck Mitchell!" "Buck, I guess we can help you out." "We'll start tomorrow." "Hey, buck, buck, buck!" "It's me, the weird guy from the stadium!" "There were a lot of weird guys at the stadium tonight." "You know, I remembered you." "Buck, Tabitha, welcome." "We'll start your first marriage counseling session as soon as Homer gets here." "Sorry I'm late." "I was just gathering my counseling equipment." "Now, let's remember... no one's right and no one's wrong... till I say so." "I-I think what Homer means is why don't you tell us what each of you feels is the problem?" "Well, I'm an old-fashioned guy, you know, and when we got hitched, I just assumed she'd give up her international recording career to focus on my minor league baseball dreams." "Wow, I think we really hit on something here." "Unfortunately, we're out of time." "How does that make you feel?" "Shut up." "My 10:00's here." "Homer, please." "Let's see here..." "Here's something the book's previous owner underlined" ""be honest with your partner about what you're feeling."" "I don't want to waste any more time in a mismatched marriage." ""Try to frame criticisms of your spouse in a positive way."" "Well, I'm positively sick of her shaking her lady parts for the whole world to eyeball." "Interesting." "Interesting." "Buck, you've got a beautiful woman with a hot body that any man would fantasize about even while making love to his own Marge." "Thank you, Homer." "Maybe we should stop here." "Good idea, honey." "Buck, would you mind signing a couple of baseballs for my boy?" "Yeah, sure." "Just sign your name above president Lincoln's." "Isn't it weird that our parents are giving marital advice?" "They're always fighting." "If you listen closely, you can hear them arguing right now." "And I say a monkey can mow our lawn!" "This house is spectacular." "You must have had a great view of the riots." "I stole a rack of fur coats." "I sell one a year to pay for christmas." "You make me laugh, Homer." "Why, 'cause I'm fat?" "Okay, tonight we're gonna discuss little ways to keep your romance alive:" "Make time for each other, an hour, an evening, a mini vacation." "Well, I am presenting at the espy awards next week." "And I'm receiving." "We can wait for our limos together." "Or take the same limo." "Like I always say,"compromise is the key."" "I always say that." "Let's compromise and say nobody said it." "And here's the pitch to Buck Mitchell." "It's going, going... and like america's credibility on the world stage, that ball is gone." "Buck mitchell is back and sluggier than ever." "With five home runs in two nights, he's ended rumors of early retirement and inspired rumors of steroid abuse." "But I've heard this turn around is due to the marriage counseling of Marge and Homer Simpson, seen in this file photo." "Homer, I'm proud of you." "You've prolonged a celebrity marriage at least through playoff season." "After that, who gives a hobo's crap?" "Am I right?" "I'm a girl who loves men and we live in sexy marriage land sexy marriage land ooh, marriage sexy marriage land." "Wow, I've got this sudden urge to give her a five-dollar bill." "That's it.We're out of here." "Hey, Tabitha, great show." "I like that part where you mentioned Springfield." "Did you know that's where you are?" "Why don't you stay and have a bite?" "You're so hot." "If only I'd seen you before I met my wife." "Homer, you're sweet, but..." "You're talking to the chicken." "Don't tell the hamburger in my car." "Listen, these shows always tense me up." "While your finger sare greasy, could you give me a neck rub?" "Okay." "So why didn't you marry one of your crummy backup dancers?" "They're day laborers." "We picked them up inthe home depot parking lot." "Oh, yeah." "Oh, that's it." "Right there." "Oh, yes." "Yes, it feels so good." "Oh, yeah." "Oh, yeah, baby." "Thank god I brought protection." "I used to be so embarrassed buying these." "Homer simpson?" "You're supposed to be my marriage counselor." "I did work book pages for you." "We're going to have a lot to talk about at your 3:00." "There ain't gonna be a 3:00." "cancellations require 24 hours... notice." "And that's why Lou Gehrig was a selfish cry baby who deserved to die." "Springfield, let's hear from you." "Yeah, I got a question." "How come Buck Mitchell's game is in the toilet again?" "Well, rumor has it his marriage is failing due to the inept counseling of Homer and Marge simpson." "I knew it, I knew it!" "So, do I win a jock squawk t-shirt?" "No." "Sorry." "It don't need no writing on it." "It don't even have to be clean." "Is this Moe?" "What happened to that bumper sticker we gave you?" "wit's holding in my hernia." "Dad, because you and mom screwed up Buck Mitchell's marriage, some kids beat me up at school today." "Yeah, they beat me up at work." "Look at the word they wrote on my skull." "Papa." "I didn't want you to learn that word this way." "Marge, we got to get Buck and Tabitha back together." "This is the most important case of our careers." "Listen, Bub, we are out of the marriage counseling business." "And the only one you should be giving chicken grease neck rubs to is me." "But not me, 'cause I thinkthey're disgusting." "So now we're judging each other based on things we've done." "Real fair." "Class act." "I'm going back to the stadium to bring those two kids back together." "And I'll do it with or without you." "Then I guess you'll do it without me." "But i wanted to do it with you." "Crossed arms mean "no."" "Tabitha, what a coincidence." "I was just thinking sad thoughts about you." "I came to tell you I'm leaving buck." "What?" "!" "No." "No... what?" "No!" "W hat?" "Buck and I don't belong together." "Don't give up on Buck." "There must be something about him that attracted you in the first place." "Well, yeah." "He was the first man who didn't just like me for my body." "He always complimented meon my hair." "Your standing lamp is dirty." "I'll polish it." "Cancel all my appointments." "Let's go." "So here comes Buck Mitchell in a spot every kid dreams of, where a sacrifice fly could lead his minor league team to a wild card spot." "And there's the duff blimp... with a special message from Tabitha to Buck." "Said zeppelin has a whole lotta love." "It's working." "Buck's buying my fake message." "And you said it would never work." "No, I said, "duffmanwill do what you want." "Stop kicking and punching duffman."" "I'm whacking this for you, baby." "And he sends one into the slug-o-sphere." "It's going... going..." "My sister's friend!" "Tabitha!" "Tabitha!" "This is the worst blimp crash ever!" "Too soon!" "Where are you, sweetie?" "She was here a minute ago." "She must be pooping." "Hey, you're lying." "This whole stunt was a lie." "Get him!" "He ruined mini-bat day." "Leave him alone." "All he did was try to help a young couple find their way." "Does he really deserve to get strung up for that?" "Cut that out." "Duffman gives the people what they want." "Weren't you just tied up in the blimp?" "Three duffmen are working the game tonight." "Don't tell the children." "It's disillusioning." "Duffman, duffman, duffman, duffman, duffman." "Marriage is hard work." "But it's worth it when you've got someone wonderful like I do." "Buck, I love you, too." "And I'll take you back, if you can guess tonight's attendance." "Let's see, B." "No, no, no." "A. No, no, oh, man, man!" "It's C." "As in "keeping together."" "Which is what I want to do." "Well, Homer, looks like my marriage is going into extra innings." "Great." "But enough of the baseball analogies." "They sicken me." "No problem." "No, milady,your carriage awaits." "Ain't love grand, tito?" "Hey, man,I don't care!" "Bandits just kidnapped my mother." "Just found out." "transcript: scarfo synchro:" "Ale, Toki Job22"

"Anyone in residence?" "You're early." "We haven't got to be there till eight." "Oh, yeah." "We've got ages." "Can I put a couple of bits through your washing machine?" " Mine conked out this morning." " Whatever." "Can we not make it a late one?" "It's tomorrow morning, that big court case with His Nibs." " Oh, that's right." " The press will have a field day," "Adam Klaus up for propositioning a waitress with a kipper." "I've got to be there as a possible character witness, so..." "Only I know what you're like at dinner parties - blethering away till three o'clock in the..." "My God!" " What the hell's all this?" " Just a few odds and sods." "Odds and sods?" "!" "It's like the relief effort to an earthquake zone!" " Are you planning a prison breakout?" " So I know what goes with what." "Now, don't upset my system." "It's a Zen thing for me, washing." " I have to be in the mood." " You'll do this by seven?" "Are you mad?" "I thought you could finish it tomorrow." "Oh, yes." "I've got Widow Twanky staying." "It'll be no sweat." "What are their names again, these friends of yours?" "Saul and Sadie Beetroot-Stain?" "Bechtenstein." "I met her last year at this press thing." "Ever since, she's been badgering me to visit." "I'm convinced she thinks I'm Jewish." " What do you mean?" " What do you mean?" "What do you mean, THINKS you're Jewish?" "THINKS I'm Jewish." "Every time we meet I get this," ""What are you doing for Yom Kippur?" Stuff like that." " What?" " Nothing." "No." "She knows about me, though?" " She knows I'm not kosher?" " Oh, yeah." " 'Cause if you've been telling fibs..." " Oh, don't be ridiculous." "Dr Creek, we meet at last!" "Such a pleasure." "I've heard all about you." "Maddy, darling!" " Hello." "I'm Madeline." "Hi." " Jonathan, nice to meet you." "My husband Saul, who's in insurance." "Come and meet our new neighbours." "Alice and Lenny Spearfish." "They've just bought Tierra Santa on the corner..." "So, um... what do you think of my husband's yarmulke?" " He made it himself." " Mmm!" "Exquisite!" ".. ly decorated, with all the lovely stitching." "You ever need a seamstress, I'm telling you." "But then, you'll be quite handy with a needle yourself, Jonathan." "You're not the first gynaecologist to use that spoon, but it's always an honour." "Confidentially, I wouldn't mind a word later about one or two matters." " Yes, actually..." " So, Lenny, what business are you in?" " You seem to have done well for yourself." " Yes, we... came into some money," " totally by chance." " .. would be one way of looking at it." " Maybe chance had nothing to do with it." " Well..." "It just happened that way." "Come on, Alice." "We can share the secret of our success." "Why shouldn't they know the truth - that I sold my soul to the Devil." "Sorry." "I suppose that's a bit of a conversation stopper." "Whoops. "What kind of a cranky tale's he going to spin us?"" "Well, no more or less than the truth, I can promise you." "Fine." "If you want to cut me off, that's great." "You wouldn't think, two months ago, life had anything left to offer us." "Three years of marriage, we were on the ropes - overdrafts, negative equity..." "Every day, we just seemed to sink further down." "It came to a point, one Monday, a few quid in my pocket from that giro," "I don't know..." "I just had to wash away the pain." "Coming home afterwards, well, I'd heard about this place, the weird kind of stuff they sold." "I don't know..." "Today, something made me go inside." "He asked me what I was seeking." "Solutions?" "Revelations?" "Would I like to know what the future held in store?" "I said I had no future, that was the problem." "There was nothing in there I wanted to buy." "He said, in that case, maybe I had something to sell." "What can I say?" "It was like some kind of adrenalin surge." "The ultimate escape." "The ultimate "screw you" to God and the world." "I gave him his commission." "Of course, it was all a con." "How could I sell my soul to Satan?" "I didn't believe in souls, didn't believe in Satan... until the next day." "I'd finally got round to having a go at this dead tree in the garden." "Alice!" "To cut a long story short, it was over 200 years old." "I can formally declare, having taken evidence..." "They held a coroner's inquest and declared it treasure trove." "Overnight, we were £1.3 million richer." "Yeah, that'd be great if you could do that..." "The day we moved out, Alice found the document." "Of course, when I told her what it was, she wasn't best pleased." "God and the Bible she took very seriously." "Don't worry about it." "It's..." "Me?" "By this time, I didn't know what to believe." "The Fire Brigade's first thought was a short circuit somewhere." "The loss adjuster said no." "The pattern of spread pointed to it starting in the hall, in one of those tea chests, maybe, of old papers." "Caused by?" "No one was prepared to say." "Either way, the evidence was gone forever." "Along with everything else." "Our entire past." "Our whole life together up to that point." "Burnt to hell." "Well, that was another evening of fun and frolics." ""This is my next-door neighbour." "He's in league with Lucifer. "" "Followed by a private consultation about her intimate marital problems." "She asked about caps moving." "I thought she meant yarmulkes." "I said, "Have you tried toupee tape?"" "Why did you tell her I was a doctor?" "You've got no scruples." " Truth and fiction, there's no..." " Will you shut up for a sec?" "For goodness' sake, Alice." "Our whole life's a gamble." "Stop being such a misery." "The night's young." "We're still young." "I'm not in the mood for blowing a fortune on a little silver ball." "You can go on your own!" "Can we drop you anywhere?" "He's always had the bug." "Of course, now he's got the money." "He'll find some club, casino somewhere, and that'll be that." "He's not what you think he is." "That's not the real Lenny, the man I married." "It's just..." "You're talking about temptations beyond anything he's ever experienced." "Somehow..." "I don't know..." "We've got to find a way to deal with all this or..." "Well, it was nice meeting you both." "So, when you arrived with his breakfast, Miss Cretiss, at 8.15 in the morning, your exact words, through the hotel room door were - and let's be quite clear about this "Good morning." "Room service. "" " That's correct." "Not "Good morning." "I've come to commit an unnatural act with a grilled herring,"" "but, "Good morning." "Room service. "" " Correct." " Despite which, when he opened the door, wearing what you described as a "nancy kimono bed jacket", he made what was to be the first of several improper suggestions." " Yes, he pointed across the room." " With his finger?" "At that stage, just with his finger, and said, "Let's have it over there on the table. "" ""Let's have it over there on the table. "" "And as you crossed the room, you noticed he had now let his bed jacket fall open with, in your words," ""his wedding tackle standing to attention"." "Bearing in mind it was over my shoulder." " Pardon me?" " I was facing the other way, but I could see it over my shoulder in the mirror." "Quite so, Miss Cretiss." "Can you believe the mendacity, Jonathan, the sheer vindictiveness of some people?" "Here, do you want a job?" "It's no exaggeration to say it's the assassination of Kennedy again." "Actually, it is an exaggeration." "Huh!" "It's not enough our dates across the Channel are in serious trouble." "Did you see the figures for Paris?" " It's a disaster." " Sorry?" "Our Tour de France will be one big oven-ready turkey if tickets don't start moving in the next seven days, while I'm stuck here, facing a possible order for six-figure damages." "You just can't see these people for the parasites they are." "She'll be on a healthy commission." "How much have you signed away now?" "An adventurous portfolio, balancing medium- to high-risk investments." "She said, in 12 months, we could double our stake." "Lenny..." "It's scaring me, all this." "I wondered if we should talk to someone... from the church." "About what?" "Look, I'm on a roll now for the first time in my life." " I can't explain it." "I don't want to." " You'll have to account for this one day." "One day." "You live for one day, you miss out on now." "Now is all we have, Alice." "You've got to learn to make the most of it." "Place your bets, please." "Three, red." "Look, Troy..." "I paid what I owed." "Everything." "We're even!" "Do you think so?" "This isn't real!" "I don't believe you're saying this!" " You paid for some woman...?" "!" " Look, I'm sorry." "It happened." "Business transaction." "I was barely conscious." "You're missing the point." "This guy - her pimp, whatever he was - fired two bullets into my chest and they bounced off!" "No blanks, no bullet-proof vest." "It's all happening to me, Alice." "It's like I can't lose anymore." "I have the power to do anything I want." "Look, at no time did I incite her to have sex with a fish." "Like I said, she dropped the tray on my foot." "She said, "There goes your kipper. "" " I said, "Oh, f... "" " Yes?" ""Forget the kipper. "" ""Sod the kipper. " "Blow the kipp... "" "I" " I don't know." "I can't remember." "Mr Klaus, isn't the truth that you were aroused by this woman from the moment she walked in?" "I was not aroused." "I just had a tense night." "As any man knows, sometimes it's like that in the morning." " Like waking up with a stiff neck." " Yes, exactly!" " You been in yet?" " No." "What are you doing here?" "Do you remember Dr Faustus and his missus?" "I just got a call from her." "It's all getting weirder by the second." "Mr Klaus, do you deny that when Miss Cretiss cried out in shock, your response was to perform, in front of her, an act of gross indecency with a Union Jack?" "No!" "I just grabbed for something to cover myself up." " There were some props on the chair, and I..." " Mr Klaus!" "Yes or no?" "When this poor lady screamed, did you or did you not hang a flag on it?" "I can't go tonight." "I've got to go to the theatre, assuming he gets out alive." "OK." "I'll leg it, then." " Oh, anything I should look out for?" " See if those bullet marks wash off." "Of course, the danger is your imagination starts filling in the gaps." "Like this contract with the Devil bursting into flames." "Maybe something else in that tea chest was combustible." "It was just old papers from the loft, letters and diaries of my mum's, stuff of my dad's - both deceased, but you know how you hang onto things." " I hate to think what they'd have made of this." " Religious people?" "Very proper and correct." "She'd worked in service to dukes and lords." "She was very conscious of her place." "He was a devout Catholic." "Brought me up with a very clear idea of good and evil." "It's the same in your religion." "We both worship the God of Abraham." "Well, yeah..." "No, sorry." "Actually, I'm not..." "Anyway, this prostitute thing..." "I rang up the police, and they had him straight down there to identify the body." "It seems she'd been double-crossing this bloke she worked for, who's a bit of a psycho." "He just let her have it." "They said if he finds out Lenny's still alive as a witness..." "If you're going to put all this in your book, maybe you should inspect the evidence." "Even the police surgeon was baffled." "No, question." "They'd gone through my shirt and burnt the skin, so why didn't they penetrate, when bullets from the same gun...?" "You got lucky once, friend." "Twice?" "I don't think so." "Yeah?" " Come on, then." " Lenny!" "See, look." "He can't." "Come on!" "What's stopping you?" "Come on, you bastard!" "Fire!" "He's dead." "He couldn't have been having a fit?" "What colour was his face?" "The only thing I thought I saw was like a little red birthmark on his cheek that was there one minute, and the next second seemed to have gone." "It's so unreal, this whole thing, like something out of a Frank Capra movie." "There were no entry wounds anywhere on the body?" "No poison darts tipped with the venom of an Afghan swamp adder?" "No doubt, if they find anything, we'll be the first..." " What are you doing?" " What?" " You're not going to iron that?" "!" " Oh, I suppose you just put it on as it is, all wrinkled to kingdom come." "Take no pride in your laundry of any kind?" "So, come on." "A man sells his soul to the Devil, then he wakes up and he's a millionaire." "Bullets can't harm him, and a guy that tries to kill him just crumples to the floor." "What if..." "Lenny Spearfish pulls off this amazing jewel robbery." "To explain away his new-found wealth pretends to dig it up in the back garden." "All this diabolism stuff is just to distract his wife, who takes that stuff seriously." "Plus, it gives him an excuse to start enjoying himself again - the gambling and sleeping around." "The other guy is in on it, making it all look real, except he cocks up the bit by the pool and accidentally cracks his head open." "Amazing." "I am very impressed." "I never thought that stain would come out, but a little bit of Biotex..." "Shame you can't starch your tongue, isn't it?" "Try as I might, I don't see Lenny Spearfish as this machiavellian trickster." "A good trick needs invention." "It needs precision." "It needs expertise." "What else does it need, just as important?" "It needs an audience, otherwise what's the point?" "Why make a parchment miraculously catch fire if there's no one to see it?" "Those bullets bouncing off - who's he trying to impress?" "The girl's dead, the killer's just scarpered." "The only person spooked was Lenny himself." "Hang on a sec." "If we're saying they're not tricks, what are we saying?" "What?" "It's what you said about being in a Frank Capra movie." "A little light came on suddenly, just for a second, then fizzled out again." "Very irritating." "Do you know what?" "I'm wondering if everyone's right." "Maybe I am Jewish." "There's no telling what's lurking in my family tree." "I never knew if my father had a name, let alone a foreskin." "So, come on." "Sunday morning shoppers and all that." "No time to hang about." "Are these notes accurate, what she said yesterday?" "Of course they're accurate." "God!" "I'm in agony here, Jonathan!" "What did you put in this bra, quick-drying cement?" "Is this the latest funky idea?" "A crime writer and a gynaecologist team up to solve murders?" "What are you looking for?" "She said she saw a little red birthmark on his face that suddenly disappeared." "That ring any bells with you?" "Ooh, nice watch." "Rolex?" "Do you want to hear something you don't want to hear?" " Um..." " That woman who came here, talked him into all those stocks - she's coming back this morning." "Well, I got lawyers to check her out on all the professional registers." "Apparently, her name's not listed anywhere." "Anthea Spacey does not exist." "So, come on, Lenny." "How much of all this do you believe?" "The Devil has granted you power and prosperity in exchange for your immortal soul" "We're here." "That guy who tried to kill me is lying in the morgue." "That's not what I asked." "You should ask my wife." "She seems pretty convinced." "God-fearing family." "Good Catholic parents." "My tribe were all Londoners." "Didn't believe in anything." "Part of me still doesn't." "All I know is that something's happened that's turned my life around, and I don't knock it and I don't question it." "If you'll excuse me, I think that's my business adviser just arrived." "Don't ask me to explain this, Mr Spearfish." "I can't." "One expects a little upward movement, a little down, but early indications across the board are..." "well, I think healthy barely covers it." "Would you like to know how much money you've made in the last 24 hours?" "This is impossible, surely?" "Leaky pen." "Is there somewhere I could just, er...?" "Then I'll try to make some sense of it for you." " When she comes out, keep her talking." " About what?" "Where are you off to?" "Going for a shufti round her car." "See if I can find out who she really is." "Yes?" "Let's just say it's not getting any easier." "I'm running out of ideas, but... we'll see." "Right." "Bye." "Oh..." "There it is." "You took your time." "Have you never driven an automatic before?" "I've never driven a car before!" "I didn't want to risk anything." "She said it wasn't getting any easier and she was running out of ideas." "The guy made an unreal killing on the stock market in one day." ""Unreal" is the word, although things are becoming clearer." "You had a good squint at his chest last night." "I don't suppose you looked at his wrists?" "We know the man's a gambler and likes a drink, so there's every reason to take that story about a night on the town at face value." "The guy's obviously loaded." "Ripe for some high-class hooker to whisk him up to her room somewhere." "By this time, he's totally out of it." "He'll buy anything she's offering." "Let's imagine that for top dollar, there are some special services she performs." "I'm afraid there's no way those grazes I saw on his wrists were caused by a Rolex." "Aah!" "If he had a good time, he wouldn't remember it." "The guy shoots at him in the dark, hits the bedpost or whatever, the pain in his chest makes him think he's been hit." "The rest of the story is anyone's guess." "I was forgetting you were an expert on handcuffs and their associated abrasions." "I may write a small monograph on the subject." "Which all begs the question, where do we go from here?" "My place?" "Ooh, you know that feeling when someone's been at your nipples with a spanner?" "Oddly enough, no." "You're a bit too nifty with that starch." "Where's your hand?" "There." "See what you've done to it, look?" "All in there..." "Yeah, and there." "Bloody hell!" " Alice, what...?" " It's all over." "If I couldn't live with myself, how could I live with him?" "God will forgive, I kept telling him, but you have to let go." "He had to stop wanting it and just settle for what he had... before..." ""No way," he said." "He wasn't going back to those days again." "I said, "Well, you'll have to take the consequences, I can't go on, so... "" "It's not like I've stopped loving him, it's just..." "I don't know, it frightens me so much, all this." "I just had to get some space." "Of course." "You have my bed tonight." "We'll grab some sofas." "Yes!" "What's happening?" "Don't tell me the game's afoot, Watson." "Amazing what you can find on the Internet if you know what you're looking for." " Yeah, what have you got?" " Possibly your disappearing birthmark." "Of course, it still doesn't explain why, that's the real puzzler." " Why what?" "What you on about?" " Sorry, it'll have to keep." "I'm late for court." "She said, "Where is it?" I said, "You're sitting on it. "" " Morning." "You're looking worryingly chipper." " Excuse me." "Not all is doom and gloom today, Jonathan." "Check out this sudden upsurge in our continental fortunes." "My God!" "14 sell-outs." "Requests for extended runs in Paris, Lyon and Toulouse." "The box office finally is blooming - triggered, it seems, by events in this building." "The sniff of a sex scandal." "You know the French." "This case has worked wonders for my profile." "Indeed, there's an artist's impression of my profile in this one, which is extremely flattering if anatomically impossible." "That's very unfortunate." "How serious is she, do you think?" "Well, listen..." "Maybe you should consider exploiting this to your advantage, because..." "I'm thinking if we can get some kind of waiver from her in writing, it would free you up, then - let's face it - she'd be out of your hair forever." "Yeah..." "Right." "That sounds good to me." "So, based on your long professional association, Mr Creek, would you describe Mr Klaus as a celibate man?" " Well, hardly that, no." " A monogamous man, then?" "Well, not entirely." "Would you say that he "puts it about a bit"?" "Mr Creek?" "Mr Creek?" "I'm still waiting." " What's up?" " Plenty." "They want her to sign a document now, renouncing any future claim on the money, which is in his name." "I said, "You'd have to be barmy. " She said, "If that's what he wants, he's welcome to it. "" "She left half an hour ago, aiming to get there for three." "Fine." "I'll just have time to fill you in." " On what?" " On what this madness has all been about." "Want her to sign in blood, Lenny?" "No one's forcing anyone to do anything." "If Mrs Spearfish chooses to surrender her share for whatever reasons, that's her right." "The marriage having reached a point of irretrievable breakdown, they should do as they see fit." " If I'd known it would come to this..." " We haven't got all day." "We'll need two witnesses to the signature, so..." "If you wouldn't mind?" "Well, they've pretty much made up their minds, so why drag it out?" "Right, I'll..." "I'll say goodbye." "Well, it seems I totally misjudged them." "Oh, I wouldn't say that, Miss Spacey, or whatever your name is." "I think you judged them both to perfection." "Cutting her off without a penny was never the object of the exercise." "The point was to take them to the wire and back." "I haven't a clue what you're talking about." "Clues." "Yes, there were plenty of them knocking about, but they all got obscured by this pact with the Devil nonsense." "Impressionable young couple, one starts dabbling in the occult..." "What else would they think when their life started changing for no apparent reason?" "They didn't know it would have changed anyway." "That Mickey Mouse manuscript had nothing to do with anything." "You had it when you said this echoed a Frank Capra movie." "Frank Capra?" "Whose most famous film..." " "It's A Wonderful Life"." " .. was all about... .. a man who's saved by a guardian angel." "Someone, some mystery benefactor, was making all this happen, someone rich enough to finance buried treasure in the garden and miracle profits on the stock exchange." "But how was it being engineered?" "You haven't just guessed that someone's about to dig up an old tree." "That points to some kind of surveillance, professional operators watching their every move." "The bullet thing was a fluke, but what about that stunt by the pool?" " You got lucky once, friend..." " By now, Lenny's on this mad high." "He's got nothing to fear." "The Devil will save him." "Sure enough, the guy seizes up, paralysed by some unseen force." "See, look." "He can't." "The only clue was a red birthmark that appeared on his face for a second, then vanished." "Of course, it wasn't a birthmark, and it wasn't blood, and it was a sleepless night before the answer popped into my head." "It was the red dot from a laser gun-sight, suggesting we were into a very clever piece of technology here." "A weapon that can target and disable without leaving a mark on someone's body." "The 34700 Air-Taser." "Effectively jams the neuro-muscular system by firing two small probes on a fine wire into the attacker's clothing." "Basically, a kind of long-distance stun gun." "The victim totally loses control of his body, in this case with fatal results." "But who'd be toting something like that around?" "If not MI5, then MI something." "Suddenly, we're looking at a figure with so much clout, it's frightening." "And this afternoon in the courtroom, it all dropped into place." "That thing about not knowing what's lurking in your family tree..." "Of course, I'd already seen it... in this house yesterday morning." "Two blue-eyed parents and a brown-eyed daughter?" "Genetically, most unlikely." "Yes, the sweetest irony of the lot." "The carefully-disguised gifts and covert protection were all meant for Alice." "Alice's mother would have had every opportunity back in the '60s..." "She's worked in service to dukes and lords and... goodness knows who else." ".. for a little dalliance with someone of noble - dare one even say royal?" " birth." "How about it, Anthea?" "How high up, as they say, does this one go?" "You know what my job, my life, would be worth if I told you that?" "Well, high enough for any tell-tale letters and diaries in that tea chest to be torched using some remote-controlled gizmo or other?" "Let's just say it was 30 years before the facts became clear." "The brief was to see that she and her family were well provided for, without alerting them to the truth." "Budget and resources weren't a problem." "Budget and resources weren't a problem, but Lenny Spearfish was." "The spectre of him gambling it all meant you had to move quick." "We could hardly leave her alone with a lunatic with a gun at large." "Then, disaster." "Alice walks out on her husband, on everything you've been setting up for her." "I'm no marriage counsellor, but something told me it was still solid enough... underneath." "They just needed shaking up a bit to knock some sense into them, basically." "All this because no one can tell her who her real father is." "They'd rather she lived the rest of her life believing this black magic baloney." "Well, maybe... one day." "In the end, it's not my decision." "So, I think I can rely on you to keep this to yourselves." "Why on earth would you do that?" "So, go on, then." "Who's your money on?" "You're kidding?" "I wouldn't put it past him." "And after what has been a deeply distressing time for me, personally and professionally," "I thank God that once again good has triumphed over evil." "Thank you very much indeed." "Thank you." "Thank you." " What happened?" " Didn't you hear?" "They threw out the case." "11th-hour evidence." "We acquired statements from six other hotel guests, men of stature, who have all in the past paid off Miss Cretiss to keep allegations of misconduct out of court." "She was forced to admit this was a scam she'd worked for years, exploiting compromising situations for personal gain." "These are dated five weeks ago." "You could have stopped this coming to court." "And averted all that publicity that got our ticket sales moving in France?" "Fortuitous how it's all panned out, although business affairs are a secondary consideration." "What is important is that I have emerged from this sordid affair without a stain..." "Bastard!" "Think you're such a big-shot!" "I'd have needed a magnifying glass." "Bloody cheats, that's all you are, the lot of you!" " Oh!" "Now I've got Coke up my nose." " There's a novelty." "Actually, I can recommend a good laundry service." "Come to think of it, if you ever need a gynaeco..." "Jewish humour." "Don't you love it?"

" There's a strange man in my bedroom." " No." " Mum?" " I'm in town." "Just go home right now." " You're breaking up." " Mum!" "Agh!" "Right, then, I'll be off, unless..." "I don't know..." "You could come with me." " Is it always dangerous?" " Yeah." " How long have I been gone?" " About 12 hours." "I just want to see my mum." " What will you tell her?" " That I've been to the year five billion and only been gone 12 hours?" "No, I'll say I spent the night at Shareen's." "See you later." "Don't you disappear." "I'm back!" "I was with Shareen." "She was all upset again." "Are you in?" "So, how have you been?" "What's that face for?" "It's not the first time I've stayed out all night." " It's you!" " Of course it's me." "Oh, my God." "It's you." "Oh, my God!" "It's not 12 hours, it's 12 months." "You've been gone a whole year." "Sorry." "The hours I've sat here, days and weeks and months, all on my own." "I thought you were dead." "And where were you?" "Travellingl" "What does that mean, travelling?" "That's no sort of answer." "You ask her." "She won't tell me." "Just says travelling." " That's what I was doing." " Your passport's here." "It's one lie after another!" "I meant to phone, I really did." "I just forgot." "You forgot for a year?" "And I am left sitting here." "I just don't believe you." "Why won't you tell me where you've been?" "Actually, it's my fault." "I sort of employed Rose as my companion." " Is this a sexual relationship?" " No!" "Then what is it?" "You waltz in here, all charm and smiles." "The next thing I know, she vanishes off the face of the earth!" "How old are you?" "40?" "45?" "Did you meet on the internet?" "Did you pretend you're a doctor?" " I AM a Doctor." " Stitch this, mate." "Oh!" "Did you think about me at all?" "I did, all the time, but..." "One phone call." "Just to know that you were alive." "I'm sorry." "I really am." "What terrifies me is that you still can't say." "What happened to you, Rose?" "What can be so bad that you can't tell me, sweetheart?" "Where were you?" "I can't tell her." "I can't even begin." "She's never gonna forgive me." "And I missed a year." "Was it good?" " Middling." " You're so useless." "If it's this much trouble, are you gonna stay here?" " I don't know." "I can't do that to her again." " Well, she's not coming with us." "No chance!" " I don't do families." " She slapped you!" "900 years of time and space, then slapped by your mother." " Your face!" " It hurt!" "You're so gay!" "When you say 900 years..." " That's my age." " You're 900 years old?" "Yeah." "My mum was right." "That is one hell of an age gap." "Every conversation with you just goes mental." "There's no one else I can talk to." "I've seen all that stuff up there and I can't say a word." "Aliens and spaceships and things, and I'm the only person on Planet Earth who knows they exist." "Oh, that's just not fair." "Get back." " It's blocked off." " We're miles from the centre." "The city must be gridlocked." "London must be closing down." "I can't believe I'm here to see this." "It's fantastic!" " Did you know about this?" " Nope." " Recognise the ship?" " Nope." " Do you know why it crashed?" " Nope." " I'm so glad I've got you" " This is why I travel - to see history happening in front of us." "Let's go and see it." "Forget the traffic." "We've got the Tardis." "One spaceship's enough." "I don't want to shove another one on top." "Yours is a big blue box." "No one's gonna notice." "There'll be all kinds of people watching." "The Tardis stays where it is." " So history's happening and we're stuck here?" " Yes, we are." " It's gotta be Ken Livingstone, ain't it?" " We could always do what everybody else does." "We could watch it on TV." "Big Ben destroyed as a UFO crash-lands in Central London." "Police reinforcements are drafted in to control widespread panic, looting and civil disturbance." "A state of national emergency has been declared." "Tom Hitchinson is at the scene." "The police are urging the public not to panic." "There's a helpline number if you're worried about friends or family." "The military are on the look-out for spaceships." "All flights in North American airspace have been grounded." "The army is sending divers into the wrecked spaceship." "No one knows what they'll find." "The President will address the nation live." "The Secretary General has asked that people watch the skies." " I make him welcome or risk losing you." " Your mother sobbed in my arms." " I cradled her like a child." " I'm trying to listen." "News is just coming in." "Now to Tom at the Embankment." "They've found a body." "It's unconfirmed, but I'm being told that a body has been found of non-terrestrial origins." "It's being brought ashore." "A body has been found inside the wreckage." "Guess who asked me out." "Billy Croot!" "Unconfirmed reports say that the body is of extraterrestrial origin." "An extraordinary event unfolding here in Central London." "The body is being transferred to a secure unit mortuary, whereabouts as yet unknown." "And when you've stuck your fins on, you can cover it in buttercream." "Then ice it any colour you want." "Here's one I made a little bit earlier - your very own spaceship, ready to eat." "We still don't know if it's dead." "Whitehall is denying everything." "The body has been brought to Albion Hospital." "It's the closest to the river." "Go on." "I'm being told that General Asquith is now entering the hospital." "The building's been evacuated." "The patients have been moved onto the streets." "The police won't confirm that an alien body is inside those walls." "Let's have a look, then." "Good God!" " That's real?" "It's not a hoax or a dummy or?" " I've X-rayed the skull." "It's wired up inside like nothing I've ever seen before." "No one could make this up." "We've got experts being flown in." "Until they arrive, get that out of sight." "Excuse me, sir." "I know it's a state of emergency and there's a lot of rumour flying around, but is it true what they're saying about the prime minister?" "Mystery still surrounds the whereabouts of the prime minister." "The opposition are criticising his lack of leadership and..." "Hold on." "That's Joseph Green, MP for Hartley Dale." "He's chairman of the parliamentary commission on the monitoring of sugar standards in exported confectionery - hardly the most important person." "Indra Ganesh, sir, Junior secretary with the MOD." "I'll be your liaison." " Where the hell is he?" " We'll talk upstairs." "Excuse me." "Harriet Jones." "MP for Flydale North." " I'm sorry." "Can't it wait?" " But I did have an appointment at 3.15." "A spaceship crashed in the middle of London." "I think the schedule might have changed." " You've heard about the alien, sir?" " Never mind that." " Where's the prime minister?" " He's disappeared." "With the Cabinet stranded outside London, that makes you acting prime minister." "Oh, Lord!" "Oh, hold on." "Pardon me." "It's just a nervous stomach." "Anyway..." "Margaret Blaine." "She's with Ml5." "I escorted the prime minister from the Cabinet Room to his car." " This is Oliver Charles, transport liaison." " The car's disappeared." "It literally vanished." "Right." "Inside." "Tell me everything." "Er, sir..." "The emergency protocols." "Detailing the actions to be taken in the event of an alien incursion." "Right." "Good." "Blimey!" "Pardon me." "Let's work, eh?" " Where are you going?" " Nowhere." "It's a bit human for me." "History just happened and they're talking about cheap top-up cards." " I'm only off on a wander." " A spaceship landed and you're just wandering?" "Nothing to do with me." "It was a genuine crash-landing." "Angle of descent, smoke." "Perfect." " So?" " So maybe this is it." "The first contact!" "Mankind officially comes into contact with an alien race." "You have to handle this on your own." "The human race will finally grow up." "Just this morning, you were all tiny and small and made of clay." "Now you can expand!" "Celebrate history." "Spend some time with your mum." "Promise you won't disappear?" "Tell you what." "Tardis key." "It's about time you had one." "See you later." "Oi, gorgeous!" "Join the party!" "Oh, my God!" "Wait, Doctor!" "Doctor!" "I bet no one's brought you a coffee." " Thank you." " Pleasure." "You still can't go in." "Damn." "You've seen through my cunning plan." " I'm sorry." "It's just impossible." " Not even for two minutes?" "I don't often walk these corridors." "I'm not a babe, just a faithful backbencher." "I know we've had a brave new world land on our doorstep, and that's wonderful." "Probably wonderful." "Nevertheless, ordinary life keeps ticking away." "I need to enter this paper." "Mr Green, sir, I know you're busy, but could you put this on the next Cabinet agenda?" " What is it?" " Cottage hospitals." "I've worked out a system whereby they do not have to be excluded from centres of excellence." "My mother's in the Flydale Infirmary." "That's my constituency." "Tiny place." "By all the saints, get some perspective, woman!" "I'm busy!" "Shh!" "Agh!" "Defence Plan Delta!" "Come on, move!" " It's alive!" " Spread out." "Tell the perimeter it's a lockdown." " My God." "It's still alive!" " Do it!" "Mick!" "Terry!" "Side rooms, now!" " Clear!" " Front clear!" " Keep it moving!" " Clear!" " I swear it was dead." " Coma, shock, hibernation." "What does it look like?" "It's still here." "Hello!" "Don't shoot!" "What did you do that for?" "It was scared!" "It was scared!" "I've got the White House phoning me because Downing Street won't answer their calls." "We haven't even started the vaccination programme!" " The nations of the world are watching us!" " Well, it has been a bit of a shock." "This is the greatest crisis in modern history and you've done nothing." "You're in charge." "We need positive leadership." "The capital's ground to a halt." "We assume that the prime minister's disappearance is the result of hostile alien action." "And what have you been doing?" "Nothing!" "Sorry." "I thought I was prime minister now." " Only by default." " Oh, that's not fair!" "I've been having such fun." "You think this is fun?" "It's a hoot, this job." "Honestly, it's super!" "Oh, excuse me!" "Oh!" "What's going on here?" " Why hasn't the Cabinet been airlifted in?" " I cancelled it." "They'd only get in the way." "Oh!" "There I go." "And me!" "I'm shaking my booty!" "Sir, under section five of the emergency protocols, it is my duty to relieve you of command." "I'll put this country under martial law if I have to." "Oh, I'm scared" "I mean, that's hair-raising." "I mean, literally." "Look!" "I assumed that's what aliens looked like, but you're saying it's a pig from Earth." "More like a mermaid." "Victorian showmen used to draw the crowds by gluing the skull of a cat to a fish and calling it a mermaid." "Now someone's taken a pig, opened up its brain, stuck bits on, put it in that ship and made it dive-bomb." "It must have been terrified." "They've taken this animal and turned it into a joke." "So it's a fake." "A pretend, like the mermaid." "But the technology augmenting its brain is like nothing on Earth." "It's alien." "Aliens are faking aliens." "Why would they do that?" "Doctor?" "Doctor?" " Here's to the Martians!" " To the Martians!" " I was gonna come and see you." " Someone owes Mickey an apology." " I'm sorry." " Not you." "It's not my fault." "Be fair, what was I supposed to think?" "You disappear, who do they turn to?" "Five times I was taken in for questioning." "Five times." "No evidence!" "Then I get her whispering around the estate, pointing the finger." "Stuff through my letter box." " I didn't think I'd be gone so long." " I waited for you." " 12 months, waiting for you and the Doctor." " You knew about the Doctor?" "Why didn't you tell me?" "Yeah, why not, Rose?" " How could I tell her where you went?" " Tell me now." "I might as well 'cause you're stuck here." " The Doctor's gone." "That box thing faded away." " What do you mean?" "He's left you." "Some boyfriend he turned out to be!" " He wouldn't just go." "He promised me." " He's dumped you." "Sailed off into space." "How does it feel?" "Now you are left behind with the rest of us earthlings." "Get used to it." " He would have said." " What are you going on about?" " What's this Doctor done now?" " He's vamoosed!" "He's not, 'cause he gave me this." "He's not my boyfriend." "He's better than that." "He's much more important..." "I said so." "Mum, go inside." "Don't stand there." "Just go inside." "Mum..." "Oh, blimey." "Huh?" "How did you do that, then?" "All right, so I lied." "I had a look." "The whole crash-landing's a fake." "I thought so." "I mean, hitting Big Ben - come on!" " My mum's here." " Oh, that's just what I need" "Don't make this place domestic." " You ruined my life, Doctor." " I was a murder suspect because of you." " See?" "Domestic!" " I bet you don't even remember my name!" " Ricky." " It's Mickey." "I think I know my own name." " You think you know?" "How stupid are you?" " Mum!" "Don't go anywhere." "Don't fight." "Mum, it's not like that." "He's not..." "I'll be up in a minute." "Hold on." " That was a real spaceship?" " Yep." "What is it, then?" "Are they invading?" "Funny way to invade - putting the world on red alert." "Good point." "So what are they up to?" "As the government shows a remarkable lack of leadership, paranoia sweeps the country." "There's been three reports of assaults on people falsely identified as aliens." "Now back to Tom Hitchinson." "Are there more ships to come?" "And what is their intention?" "The authorities want your help." "If any previous sighting has been made, then call this number." "We need your help." "Yes." "I've seen one - an alien - and she's with him." "My daughter, she's with him." "And she's not safe." "Oh, my God." "She's not safe." "I've seen an alien." "I know his name." "He's called the Doctor." "It's a box." "A blue box." "She called it a Tardis." "What are you doing?" " Ricky..." " Mickey." "Ricky." "If I told you what I was doing to the controls of my magnificent ship, would you understand?" " I suppose not." " Well, shut it, then." " Some friend you've got" " He's winding you up." " I AM sorry." " OK." "I am, though." "Every day I looked." "On every street corner." "Looking for a blue box for a whole year." "It's only been a few days for me." "I don't know." "It's hard to tell inside this thing, but I swear, it's just a few days since I left." "Not enough time to miss me, then." "I did miss you." "I missed you." "So, um..." "In 12 months, have you been seeing anyone else?" " No." " OK." " Mainly 'cause everyone thinks I murdered you." " Right." "So... now that you've come back are you gonna stay?" "Got it!" "Ha-ha!" "Patched in the radar." "Looped it back 12 hours so it followed the flight of that spaceship." "Come on!" "That's the spaceship on its way to Earth." "Except..." "Hold on..." "The spaceship did a slingshot round the Earth before it landed." "It came from Earth in the first place." "It went up and came back down." "Those aliens have been here for a while." "The question is, what have they been doing?" "What do you think?" "How's the compression?" "I've got too much ballast round the middle." "Oh!" "That's better." " We've got to fix the gas exchange." " It seems very human to me." " We'd better get rid of his skin." " Shame." "I quite enjoyed being Oliver." "He had a wife, a mistress and a young farmer." "God, I was busy!" "Back to work!" " I have an army to command." " Careful." "We're not there yet." "General Asquith!" "We've had a priority alarm." "It's Code Nine confirmed." "Code Nine?" "Which would mean?" "In the event of the emergency protocols being activated, our software searches communications for key words, including "Doctor"." " I think we've found him, sir." " What sort of doctor?" "Who is he?" "He's an expert in extraterrestrial affairs." "The ultimate expert." "We need him, sir." "We need him here right now." " How many channels do you get?" " The basic packages." " Do you get sports channels?" " Yes, I get the football." "I know that lot." "The Government's bringing in alien specialists who have devoted their lives to studying outer space." "UNIT" " United Nations Intelligence Taskforce." " How do you know 'em?" " He's worked for them." "I didn't sit on my backside for 12 months." "I read up on you." "Look deep enough on the internet and there's his name," " followed by a list of the dead." " Good boy, Ricky!" " If you know 'em, why don't you go and help?" " They wouldn't recognise me." "Besides, there's aliens out there and fake aliens." "I want to keep THIS alien out of the mix." "I'm going undercover." "Better keep the Tardis out of sight." " Ricky, you've got a car." "You can drive." " Where to?" "Let's go and look at that spaceship." "Do not movel" "Rose!" "Rose!" "Raise your hands above your head." "Take me to your leader" "This is posh." "If I'd known being arrested was like this, I'd have done it years ago." " We're being escorted, not arrested." " Where to?" "Downing Street!" " You're kidding!" " I'm not." " 10 Downing Street?" " That's the one." "My God!" "I'm going to 10 Downing Street." " How come?" " Mickey was right." "I've visited this planet a lot of times" " and I've been noticed." " Now they need you?" "They're gathering experts in alien knowledge." "Who's the biggest expert?" " Patrick Moore?" " Apart from him." "Don't you just love it!" "Lloyd George used to drink me under the table." " Who's the prime minister now?" " I don't know." "I missed a year." "Oh, my God." " She's all right, then?" "She's not in any trouble?" " Your daughter and her companion might be in a position to help the country." "We need to know how she made contact with this man - if he is a man." "Ooh." "Off you go." "I need to talk with Mrs Tyler on my own, thank you." "Harriet Jones, MP Flydale North." "Ladies and gentlemen, can we convene?" "Quick as we can, please." "Can I remind you, ID cards must be worn at all times." "Here's your ID card." " Your companion doesn't have clearance." " I don't go anywhere without her." " I'm sorry, Doctor." "She'll have to stay outside." " She's staying with me." " Even I don't have clearance to go in there." " It's all right." "You go." " Are you the Doctor?" " Not now." "We're busy." "Can't you go home?" " I just need a word." " You haven't got clearance." " I'll have to leave you with security." " It's all right." "I'll look after her." "Let me be of some use." "Walk with me." "Just keep walking." "That's right." "Don't look round." "Harriet Jones, MP Flydale North." "This friend of yours... he's an expert, is that right?" " He knows about aliens." " Why do you wanna know?" "If I could have your attention, please." "As you can see, the ship had one porcine pilot." "The really interesting bit happened three days ago, filed in Any Other Business." "The North Sea, a satellite detected a signal, a blip of radiation, at 100 fathoms... like there's something down there." "You were about to investigate, then came the spaceship - a massive diversion." "From what?" "They turned the body into a suit - a disguise for the thing inside." "It's all right." "I believe you." "It's alien." "They must have some serious technology behind this." "If we could find it, we could use it." " Oh, my God!" " This has gone beyond a joke." "You cannot just wander..." "Oh, my God!" "That's the prime minister!" "If aliens fake an alien crash and an alien pilot, what do they get?" "Us." "They get us." "It's not a diversion, it's a trap." "Oh..." "Has someone been naughty?" "It was bigger on the inside." "I don't know." "What do I know about spaceships?" "That's what worries me." "This man is classified as trouble, which means that anyone associated with him is trouble." "And that's my job... eliminating trouble." "That's not possible." "He left this afternoon." " The prime minister left." "He was driven away." " And who told you that?" "Hmm?" "Me!" "This is all about us." "Experts with the knowledge how to fight aliens, together in one room." "Do you mind not farting while I'm saving the world?" "Would you rather silent but deadly?" "Ohhh!" "We are the Slitheen." "Agh!" "Thank you all for wearing your ID cards." "They'll help to identify the bodies." "Agh!" "Agh!" "Yesterday saw the start of a brave new world." "Today might see it end." "Oi!" "If you want aliens, they're inside Downing Street." "Agh!" "Planet Earth is at war." "Everybody run!" " Who are the Slitheen?" " They're aliens." "I could save the world but lose you." "Those aliens have been here for a while." "Harriet Jones, MP for Flydale North." "I thought I was prime minister now." "Agh!" "Thank you all for wearing your ID cards." "They'll help to identify the bodies." "Deadly to humans, maybe." "Jackie!" "Oi!" "If you want aliens, they're inside Downing Street." "Come on!" " Reinstate my disguise." " Hurry up." "Hurry!" "No, wait." "They're still in there - the emergency protocols." "We need them." "Agh!" "Where have you been?" "I called for help." "I sounded the alarm." "There was this lightning, this kind of electricity, and they all collapsed." " I think they're all dead." " That's what I'm saying!" "He did it." "That man there!" "I think you'll find the prime minister is an alien in disguise." " That's never gonna work, is it?" " No." "Fair enough." "Down there!" "Under the jurisdiction of the emergency protocols, I authorise you to execute this man!" "Well, now..." "You see, the thing is..." "If I was gonna execute someone by backing them against a wall, a little word of advice..." "Don't stand them against the lift!" "Hello." "Hide!" "I repeat, the upper floors are under quarantine." "You will stay where you are and you will take your orders directly from me." "Mr Green, sir, sorry, but you've got to come with me." " We should evacuate the entire building." " Sergeant..." " Have you read the emergency protocols?" " No, sir." "Then don't question me." "Seal off Number 10, secure the ground floor, and if the Doctor makes it downstairs, shoot on sight!" "Well, you heard him." "Move out!" "Let the sport begin." "I'm getting poisoned by the gas exchange." " I need to be naked." " Rejoice in it." "Your body is magnificent!" "Oh, such fun!" "Little human children!" "Where are you?" "Sweet little humeykins." "Come to me." "Let me kiss you better." "Kiss you with my big green lips." "It does us good to hunt." "Purifies the blood." "We'll keep this floor quarantined as our last hiding ground before the final phase." "My brothers!" " Happy hunting?" " It's wonderful!" "The more you prolong it, the more they stink!" "Sweat and fear." "I can smell an old girl." "Stale perfume and brittle bones." " And a ripe youngster." " All hormones and adrenalin." " Fresh enough to bend before she snaps!" " Agh!" "No!" "Take me first!" "Take me!" "Out!" "With me!" " Who are you?" " Harriet Jones, MP for Flydale North." " Nice to meet you." " Likewise." " Head for the Cabinet Rooms." " The emergency protocols are in there." " I like you." " I like you, too." "Move and I will triplicate the flammability of this alcohol." "We all go up, so back off." "Right, then." "Question time." "Who are the Slitheen?" " They're aliens." " I got that." " Who are you if not human?" " Who's not human?" " He's not." " He's not human?" " Hush!" "What's the plan?" " But he's got a northern accent." " Lots of planets have a north." " Hush!" "Come on!" "You have a spaceship in the North Sea transmitting a signal." "You took over the government." "What for, invasion?" "Why would we invade this godforsaken rock?" " Something's brought the Slitheen race here." " The Slitheen race?" "Slitheen is not our species." "Slitheen is our surname." "Jocrassa Fel Fotch Pasameer-Day-Slitheen at your service." " So you're family?" " A family business." "Then you're out to make a profit." "How can you do that on a godforsaken rock?" "Er, excuse me." "Your device will do what?" "Triplicate the flammability?" " Yes." " You're making it up!" "Oh, well, nice try." "Harriet, have a drink." "You're gonna need it." " You pass it to the left first." " Sorry." " Thanks." " Now we can end this hunt." "With a slaughter." "Don't you think we should run?" "Fascinating history, Downing Street." "2,000 years ago, this was marshland." "1730, it was occupied by a Mr Chicken." "He was a nice man. 1796, this was the Cabinet Room." "If the Cabinet's in session and in danger, these are the four safest walls in Britain." "End of lesson." "Installed in 1991." "Three inches of steel lining every wall." " They'll never get in." " And how do we get out?" "Ah." "He's safely contained." "Cut off communications inside that room, then summon the family." "It's time we finished with this insane planet for good." "There's still no word from inside Downing Street, though we are getting even more new arrivals." "Group Captain Tennant James of the RAF, though why he's been summoned we've no idea." "Ewan McAllister, Deputy Secretary for the Scottish Parliament." "And this is most unusual." "I'm told that is Sylvia Dillane, chairman of the North Sea Boating Club." "Quite what connects all these people, we have no idea." "Group Captain." "Delighted you could make it." "We're meeting upstairs." "That's the spirit!" "Off you go." "Good to see you." "Come on through." "Ah, Sergeant, now that the Doctor's been neutralised, the upper levels are out of bounds to everyone." " Then who are they?" " Need to know, Sergeant." "I want you to liaise with Communications." "The acting prime minister will make a public address to the nations of the world." "There you are." "If you'd just like to go through and get changed." "If you'd like to head down to the end of the corridor, it's first on the left." "Thank you." " Got anything stronger?" " No chance." "This ain't the time for a conga." " We've got to tell someone." " Who do we trust?" "For all we know, they've all got big bog monsters inside of 'em." "This is what he does, that Doctor - everywhere he goes, death and destruction." " And Rose is in the middle of it." " Has he got a green thing inside him, then?" "I wouldn't put it past him, but he's the only person who knows how to fight these things." "I thought I was gonna die." "Come on." "If anyone's gonna cry, it's gonna be me." "You're safe in my flat." "No one will look for you here since you hate me so much." "You saved my life." "God, that's embarrassing!" "You're telling me!" "He wanted me dead." "And he's still out there, Mickey." "That policeman." "That thing." "Right, you head off." "Inform Control I have one or two things that still need doing." "I haven't quite finished with Mrs Tyler yet." " Is that all of us?" " All the family except Sip Fel Fotch." " He's found a hunt of his own." " Ah!" " What was his name?" " Who?" "This one." "The secretary or whatever he was called." "I don't know." "I talked to him." "I brought him a cup of coffee." "I never asked his name." "Sorry." " Right." "What have we got?" "Any terminals?" " No." "This place is antique!" "Why didn't they use the prime minister as a disguise?" "He's too slim." "They're big." "They need to fit inside big humans." "They're about eight feet." "How do they squeeze inside?" "The compression field around their necks shrinks them." "That's why there's all that gas." "It's a big exchange." "Wish I had a compression field to make me smaller!" " This is not the time for making jokes." " Sorry." "You get used to this if you're friends with him." " That's a strange friendship." " Harriet Jones." "I've heard that name before." " You're not famous, are you?" " Hardly!" " It rings a bell." "Harriet Jones." " Lifelong backbencher, I'm afraid." "The protocols are redundant." "The people they list are all dead downstairs." "Hasn't it got defence codes?" "Couldn't we launch a nuclear bomb at them?" " You're very violent." " I'm serious." "We could." "There's nothing like that in here." "Nuclear strikes do need a release code, but it's kept by the UN." "Say that again." " What?" " Anything." "All." "Well, the British Isles can't gain access to atomic weapons without a special UN resolution." " Like that's ever stopped them!" " Exactly." "I voted against that, thank you." "The codes have been given to the UN." "Is it important?" " Everything is." " If we only knew what the Slitheen wanted." " I'm saying Slitheen as if it's normal!" " What DO they want?" "They're just one family, so it's not an invasion." "They're out to make money, so they want to use something." " Something here on Earth." "A kind of asset." " What?" "Gold?" "Oil?" "Water?" "You're very good at this." " Thank you." " Harriet Jones." "Why do I know that name?" "How did you get a signal?" " He zapped it." "Superphone." " Phone for help." "You must have contacts." "Dead downstairs, yeah." " It's Mickey." " Tell your stupid boyfriend we're busy." "He's not so stupid after all." "Not just alien, but, like, proper alien." "All stinking and wet and disgusting." " And it wanted to kill us." " I could have died!" "Is she all right, though?" "Just tell me." " Ricky, shut up and go to your computer." " It's Mickey, and why should I?" "Mickey the idiot, I might just choke before I finish this sentence, but I need you." "It says password." " Say it again." " It's asking for the password." "Buffalo." "Two Fs, one L." "What's that website?" "All the secret information known to mankind." "They've known about aliens for years." " They've kept us in the dark." " You were born in the dark!" " Leave him alone." " Thank you." "Password." "Just repeat it every time." " Why did the Slitheen hit Big Ben?" " You said to gather the experts, to kill them." "That lot would have gathered for a weather balloon." "The Slitheen are hiding, but then they put the planet on red alert." "Why?" " Oh, listen to her!" " At least I'm trying." "Well, I've got a question." "Since that man walked into our lives, I've been attacked in the streets, had creatures from the pits of hell in my living room, and had my daughter disappear." " I told you what happened." " I'm talking to him!" "I've seen this life of yours, Doctor." "Maybe you get off on it and think it's clever and smart, but just answer me this." "Is my daughter safe?" "I'm fine." "Is she safe?" "Will she always be safe?" "Can you promise me that?" "Well, what's the answer?" "We're in." "On the left at the top, there's an icon - little concentric circles." "Click on that." " What is it?" " A signal from a Slitheen spaceship." " Let me work out what it says." " He'll have to answer me one day." " It's a message." " Saying what?" "I don't know." "That's not me." "Go and see who that is." " It's three o'clock in the morning." " Well, go and tell them that." "It's beaming out into space." "Who's it for?" "All right!" "Mrs Tyler!" " It's the thing!" "It's the Slipeen!" " They've found us." " Mickey, I need that signal." " Mum, just get out!" "Get out!" "We can't." "It's by the front door." " Oh, my God." "It's unmasking." " It's gonna kill us." "There must be a way to stop them!" " You're the expert." "Think of something!" " I'm trying!" "I'll take it on, Jackie." "You just run." "Don't look back." "Just run." "That's my mother." "We'll find their weakness once we know where they're from." "Their basic shape narrows it down to 5,000 planets." "What else do we know about them?" " Green." "Good sense of smell." " Narrows it down." " They can smell adrenalin." " The pig technology." " They use a slipstream engine." " Narrows it down." "It's getting in!" " They hunt like it's a ritual." " Narrows it down." "When they fart, if you'll pardon the word, it doesn't just smell like a fart, if you'll pardon the word, it's more like..." " Bad breath." " That's it!" "Calcium decay!" "Now, that narrows it down." " We're getting there, Mum!" " Too late!" "Calcium phosphate." "Organic calcium." "Creatures made out of living calcium." "Hyphenated surname." "That narrows it down to one planet." " Raxacoricofallapatorius!" " Great." "We can write 'em a letter" "Get into the kitchen." " It's gonna rip us apart!" " Calcium, weakened by the compression field." "Acetic acid." "Vinegar!" " Just like Hannibal!" " Got any vinegar?" " How should I know?" " Cupboard by the sink." " What do you need?" " Anything with vinegar." "Gherkins!" "Yeah!" "Pickled onions!" "Pickled eggs!" "And you kiss this man?" "Hannibal?" "Hannibal crossed the Alps by dissolving boulders with vinegar." "Oh..." "Well, there you go, then." "He's dead." "Sip Fel Fotch Pasameer-Day-Slitheen is dead." "I felt it." "How could that happen?" "Somebody must have got lucky." "That's the last piece of luck anyone on this rock will ever have." "Ladies and gentlemen..." "Nations of the world..." "Humankind..." "The greatest experts in extraterrestrial events came here tonight." "They gathered in the common cause, but the news I bring you now is grave indeed." "The experts are dead, murdered right in front of me by alien hands." "Peoples of the Earth, heed my words." "These visitors do not come in peace." "Listen to this." "Our inspectors have searched the sky above our heads, and they have found massive weapons of destruction" " capable of being deployed within 45 seconds." " What?" "Our technicians can baffle the alien probes, but not for long." "We are facing extinction unless we strike first." "The United Kingdom stands directly beneath the belly of the mother ship." "I beg of the United Nations, pass an emergency resolution." "Give us the access codes." "A nuclear strike at the heart of the beast is our only chance of survival because... from this moment on... it is my solemn duty to inform you Planet Earth is at war." " There's no weapons." "He's invented it." " Do you think they'll believe him?" " They did last time." " The Slitheen want the whole world panicking." " They want you to lash out." " Release the codes..." " And the Slitheen go nuclear." " But why?" "You get the codes, release the missiles - but not into space 'cause there's nothing there." "You attack every other country on Earth." "World War Three." "Whole planet gets nuked." "And we'll sit through it in our spaceship in the Thames." "Not crashed, just parked." "Only two minutes away!" "But you'll destroy this beautiful place." "What for?" "Profit." "The signal beaming into space is an advert." "The sale of the century." "We reduce the Earth to molten slag, then sell it piece by piece." "Radioactive chunks, capable of powering every cut-price starliner and budget cargo ship." "There's a recession up there." "People are buying cheap." " This rock becomes raw fuel." " At the cost of five billion lives." "Bargain" "I give you a choice - leave this planet or I'll stop you." "What?" "You?" "Trapped in your box?" "Yes." "Me." "Yesterday saw the start of a brave new world." "Today might see it end." "The streets are deserted." "Everyone's home, just waiting as the future is decided in New York." " It's midnight in New York." " The United Nations has gathered." "England has provided them with proof that the massive weapons of destruction do exist." "The Security Council will be making a resolution in a matter of minutes, and once the codes are released, humanity's first interplanetary war begins." "Sergeant..." "We'll take the call in the prime minister's office." "Maintain your positions." "Good luck." "Look at that!" "The telephone is actually red!" "Oh!" " How long till they phone?" " Counting down..." "I'm not saying I trust you, but there must be something you can do." "If we fermented the port, we'd make acetic acid." "Mickey, any luck?" " Everyone's on voicemail." " Voicemail dooms us all." " We have to get out of here." " There is a way." " What?" " There's always been a way out." " Then why don't we use it?" " Because I can't guarantee Rose's safety." "Don't you dare!" "Whatever it is, don't you dare!" "If I don't dare, everyone dies." "Do it." "You don't even know what it is." "You'd just let me?" "Yeah." "Please." "She's my daughter." "She's just a kid." "Do you think I don't know that?" "This is my life." "It's not fun or smart." "It's standing up and making a decision because nobody else will." "Then what are you waiting for?" "I could save the world but lose you." "Except it's not your decision, Doctor." " It's mine." " And who the hell are you?" "Harriet Jones, MP for Flydale North." "The only elected representative in this room, chosen by the people for the people." "On behalf of the people, I command you... do it." "Victory... should be naked!" " How do we get out?" " We don't." "We stay here." "The Council is voting." "The results should be known any second now." "Use the "Buffalo" password." "It overrides everything." "What are you doing?" "Hacking into the Royal Navy." "We're in." "Here it is" " HMS Taurean, Trafalgar Class submarine, ten miles off the coast of Plymouth." " Select a missile." " We can't go nuclear." "We don't have the codes." "All we need is an ordinary missile." "What's the first category?" " Sub Harpoon, UGM-84A." " That's the one." "Select." "I could stop you." " Do it, then." " Are you ready for this?" "Yeah." "Mickey the idiot, the world is in your hands." "Fire." "Oh, my God!" "How solid are these?" "Not solid enough." "Built for short-range attack." "Nothing this big." "Now I'M making the decision." "I'm not gonna die." "We're gonna ride this one out." "You can survive earthquakes by standing under a door frame." "This cupboard's small, so it's strong." "Come and help me." "The vote is in." "The Council says..." "Yes." "They are releasing the codes." "Ring, damn you!" "It's on radar." "Counter the defence 556." " Stop them intercepting it." " I'm doing it now." "556 neutralised." "What do you mean, incoming?" "Everybody out!" "Now!" "What the hell is that for?" "Sir, there's a missile..." "Sorry." " That's mine!" "You've got mine!" " Disguise me!" "You're the blonde." "I want the other one." "Take it off!" "Everybody run!" "Here we go." "Nice knowing you both." "Hannibal!" "Oh, boll..." "Made in Britain!" " Are you all right?" " Harriet Jones." "MP Flydale North." "Contact the UN." "Tell the ambassadors the crisis is over." "They can step down." "Go on." "Tell the news." "Someone's got a hell of a job sorting this lot out!" " We haven't even got a prime minister!" " Maybe you should have a go." "Me?" "I'm only a backbencher." " I'd vote for you." " Now, don't be silly." "I'd better go and see if I can help." "Hang on!" "We're safe!" "The Earth is safe!" "Sergeant!" "I thought I knew the name." "Harriet Jones." "Future prime minister." "Elected for three successive terms." " The architect of Britain's Golden Age." " The crisis has passed!" "Ladies and gentlemen, I have something to say to you all here today." "Mankind stands tall, proud and undefeated." "God bless the human race!" "Mankind stands tall..." " Harriet Jones!" " Who does she think she is?" "Look at her taking all the credit." "It should be you on there." "My daughter saved the world!" "I think the Doctor helped a bit." "All right, then." "Him too." " You should be given knighthoods." " It's not the way he does things." "No fuss." "He just moves on." "He's not that bad if you gave him a chance." "He's good in a crisis, I'll give him that." "Oh, now the world HAS changed - you're being nice about him!" "I've got no choice." "I can't get rid of him." "You're infatuated." "I'm not infatuated." " What does he eat?" " How do you mean?" "I was going to do shepherd's pie." "All of us." "A proper sit-down 'cause..." "I'm ready to listen." "I want to learn about you and him and that life you lead." "He's an alien." "For all I know, he eats grass and safety pins and things." "He'll have shepherd's pie." "You're gonna cook for him?" " What's wrong with that?" " He's finally met his match." "You're not too old for a slap, you know!" "You can visit your gran tomorrow." "I told her you were in France." "Said you were au-pairing." "Hello?" " Right." "Two hours, then we can go." " You've got a phone?" "You think I can travel through time and I haven't got a phone?" "Huh!" "I've just got to send out this dispersal." "There you go." "That cancels out the Slitheen advert in case any bargain hunters turn up." "My mother's cooking." " Put her on a slow heat and let her simmer." " She's cooking tea." " I don't do that." " She wants to get to know you." " I'm busy." " It's just tea." "Not to me, it isn't." " She's my mother." " She's not mine." " That's not fair." " You can stay there if you want." "A plasma storm's brewing in the Horsehead Nebula." "Fires are burning ten million miles wide." "I could fly the Tardis right into it and ride the shock wave all the way out." "Hurtle right across the sky and end up anywhere." "Your choice." "Rose, I was thinking..." "I've got that bottle of Amaretto from New Year's Eve." "Does he drink?" " I was wondering whether he drinks or not." " Yeah, he does." "Don't go, sweetheart." "Please don't go." "Good lad." "Graffiti that again and I'll have you." "Now, beat it!" "I just went down the shop and I was thinking, "The whole world's changed."" "Aliens and spaceships, all in public." "And here it is." "How could they do that?" "They saw it." "You're happy to believe in something invisible, but if it's staring you in the face, you can't see it." "There's a scientific explanation for that - you're thick." "We're just idiots." " Well, not all of you." " Yeah?" "That's a virus." "Put it online." "It'll destroy every mention of me." " I'll cease to exist." " What do you want to do that for?" "You're right, I am dangerous." "I don't want anybody following me." " How can you say that, then take her with you?" " You could look after her." "Come with us." "I can't." "This life of yours, it's just too much." "I couldn't do it." "Don't tell her I said that." "I'll get a job." "I'll work weekends." "I'll pass my test." "If Jim comes round again, I'll say no." "I'm not leaving 'cause of you." "I'm just travelling." " But it's not safe." " Mum, if you saw it out there, you'd never stay home." "Got enough stuff" "The first time I stepped in there, it was spur-of-the-moment." "Now I'm signing up." "You're stuck with me." "Hah!" " Come with us." "There's room." " No chance." " He's a liability." " We'd be dead without him." "My decision is final." "Sorry." "Good luck." "You still can't promise me." "What if she gets lost?" "What if something happens to you and she's left on some moon a million light years away?" " How long do I wait then?" " Mum..." "It's a time machine." "I could travel around suns and planets and all the way out to the edge of the universe, and by the time I get back, ten seconds would have passed." "Ten seconds." "So stop worrying." "See you in ten seconds' time, yeah?" "Ten seconds." " It's a great big museum." " An alien museum." " It's my one living specimen." " It fell through time." "The only survivor." " Do something!" " I swear, no one on this base is safe." " You've got to keep it in that cell." " It can't get out." "Civilians." "Let 'em through." "It will kill all of us!" "What's the nearest town?" " Salt Lake City." "Population one million." " All dead." "Follow this order." " Just die!" " Nearly there." "Give us two seconds." " I've come to help." "I'm the Doctor." " Exterminate!" " Impossible!" " Exterminate!" " What is it?" " Some kind of signal, drawing us off course." " Where are we?" " Earth." "Utah, North America." "About half a mile underground." "When are we?" "2012." "God, that's so close." "So I should be 26." "Blimey!" "It's a great big museum." "An alien museum." "Someone's got a hobby." "They must have spent a fortune." "Chunks of meteorite." "Moondust." "The mileometer from the Roswell spaceship." " That's a bit of Slitheen." " That's a Slitheen's arm." "It's been stuffed!" "Oh!" "Look at you." "What is it?" "An old friend of mine - well, enemy." "The stuff of nightmares, reduced to an exhibit." "I'm getting old." " Is that where the signal's coming from?" " No." "It's dead." "The signal's alive." "Something's reaching out, calling for help." "If someone collects aliens, then you're Exhibit A." " Attention, all personnel." " Bad Wolf One descending." "I wanna wish you a very happy birthday, sir." " The president conveys his best wishes." " He's ten points down." " I want him replaced." " I don't think that's very wise, sir." "You're fired." "Wipe his memory." "Put him on the road." "Memphis." "Minneapolis." "A place beginning with M. So, the next president" " Republican or Democrat?" " Democrat, sir." " Why?" "They're just so funny, sir?" " What is your name?" " Goddard, sir." "Diana Goddard." " I like you." "So where's the English kid?" " Sir!" " I bought ten more artefacts at auction." " Let me see 'em." "There's something more urgent." "We arrested two intruders 53 floors down." " We don't know how they got in." " In-thru-da window." "In-thru-da window!" "That's funny!" "Bring 'em in, and tell Simmons I want to visit my little pet." "Simmons, you'd better give me good news." "Is it talking?" "Not exactly talking, no." " Then what's it doing?" " Screaming." "Is that any good?" "And this is the last." " Paid $800,000 for it." " What does it do?" "See the tubes on the side?" "It must be to channel something - maybe fuel." " I wouldn't hold it like that." " Shut it." " Really." "That's wrong." " Is it dangerous?" "No." "It just looks silly." "You just need to be delicate." "It's a musical instrument!" " And it's a long way from home." " Here, let me." "I did say delicate." "It reacts to the smallest fingerprint." "It needs precision." "Very good." "Quite the expert." "As are you." "Who are you?" " The Doctor." "Who are you?" " Like you don't know" "This is the most valuable collection of extraterrestrial artefacts in the world, and you just stumbled in by mistake" " Pretty much sums me up, yeah." " How did you get in?" "53 floors down." "With your little cat burglar accomplice." " She's rather pretty." " She's gonna smack you if you call her "she"!" "She's English!" "Hey, Little Lord Fauntleroy!" "Got you a girlfriend." " This is Mr Henry Van Statten." " And who's he when he's at home?" " Mr Van Statten owns the internet." " No one OWNS the internet." " Let's keep the whole world thinking that way." " So you're an expert in everything?" "Anything you don't understand, you lock up." " You claim greater knowledge?" " I don't need to." "And yet I captured you - right next to the Cage." "What were you doing down there?" " You tell me." " The Cage contains my one living specimen." " And what's that?" "Show me." " You want to see it?" "Blimey!" "You can smell the testosterone." "Goddard, inform the Cage we're heading down." "You, English, look after the girl." "Go and canoodle or spoon or whatever it is you do." "You, Doctor-With-No-Name, come and see my pet." "We've tried everything." "The creature has shielded itself, but there's definite signs of life inside." "Inside?" "Inside what?" "I've had to take the power down." "The Metaltron is resting." " Metaltron?" " Thought of it myself." "Good, isn't it?" "Although I'd prefer to know its real name." "Put these on." "The last guy that touched it burst into flames." "I won't touch it, then." "Go ahead, Doctor." "Impress me." "Don't open that door until we get a result." "I'm sorry about this." "Mr Van Statten might think he's clever, but never mind him." "I've come to help." "I'm the Doctor." "Doctor?" " Impossible!" " THE Doctor?" "!" "Exterminate!" " Exterminate!" " Let me out!" " Exterminate!" " It's going to kill him." " It's talking!" " You are an enemy of the Daleks." "You must be destroyed!" "It's not working!" "Fantastic!" "Oh, fantastic!" "Powerless." "Look at you." " The great space dustbin How does it feel?" " Keep back!" "What for?" "What are you gonna do to me?" "If you can't kill, then what are you good for, Dalek?" "What's the point of you?" "You're nothing!" "What the hell are you here for?" "I am waiting for orders." " What does that mean?" " I am a soldier." "I was bred to receive orders." " Well, you're never gonna get any." "Not ever." " I demand orders!" "They're never gonna come." "Your race is dead." "You all burnt." "Ten million ships on fire." "The entire Dalek race, wiped out in one second." "You lie!" " I watched it happen." "I MADE it happen!" " You destroyed us?" "I had no choice." "And what of the Time Lords?" "Dead." "They burnt with you." "The end of the last great Time War." "Everyone lost." "And the coward survived." "Oh, and I caught your little signal." ""Help me!" Poor little thing" "But there's no one else coming 'cause there's no one else left." "I am alone in the universe." "Yep!" "So are you." "We are the same." "We're not the same!" "I'm not..." "No, wait." "Maybe we are." "You're right." "Yeah, OK." "You've got a point." "'Cause I know what to do." "I know what should happen." "I know what you deserve." "Exterminate!" " Have pity!" " Why should I?" "You never did!" "Get him out!" "Help me!" " I saved your life." " Now talk to me." " Talk to me!" " You've got to destroy it!" "The last in the universe." "And now I know your name." "Dalek." "Speak to me, Dalek!" "I am Henry Van Statten." "Now recognise me!" "Make it talk again, Simmons." "Whatever it takes." "Sorry about the mess." "Mr Van Statten lets me do my own thing so long as I deliver the goods." "What do you think that is?" " A lump of metal?" " Yeah..." "I think - well, I'm almost certain - it's from the hull of a spacecraft." "The thing is, it's all true." "Everything the United Nations tries to keep quiet - spacecraft, aliens, visitors to Earth." " They really exist." " That's amazing." "It sounds incredible, but I believe the whole universe is teeming with life." "I'm gobsmacked, yeah." " And you do what?" "Sit here and catalogue it?" " Best job in the world!" "Imagine if you could get out there - travel amongst the stars and see it for real." "I'd give anything." "I don't think it'll happen - not in our lifetime." "You never know." "What about all those people who say they've been inside spaceships and talked to aliens?" "I think they're nutters." "Yeah." "Me too!" " How did you end up here?" " Geniuses from all over the world come here." "Oh, right." "You're a genius." "Sorry, but yeah." "I can't help it." "I was born clever." "When I was eight, I logged on to the US defence system." " Nearly caused World War Three." " Is that funny?" "You should have seen them running about." "Fantastic!" " You sound like the Doctor." " Are you and him?" " No, we're just friends." " Good." "Why is that good?" "Just is." "So..." "Wouldn't you rather be downstairs?" "You've got these bits of metal, but Mr Van Statten's got a living creature down there." "Yeah." "I did ask, but he keeps it to himself." "Although, if you're a genius, it doesn't take long to patch through on the comms system." "Let's have a look, then." "It doesn't do much - the alien." "It's weird." "It's kind of useless." "It's just like this great big pepperpot." "It's being tortured." "Where's the Doctor?" " I don't know." " Take me down there now." " The metal is armour." " The creature's inside." "It's a mutation." "The Dalek race was genetically engineered." "Every emotion was removed except hate." "Genetically engineered by whom?" "By a genius, a man who was king of his own world." "You'd like him." "It's been on Earth for over 50 years, sold from one collection to another." " Why is it a threat now?" " Because I'm here." "How did it reach Earth?" "Records say it came from the sky like a meteorite." "It hit the Ascension Islands." "It burnt in its crater for three days." "In all that time, it was screaming." "It must have gone insane." " It fell through time." "The only survivor." " You mentioned a war." "The Time War." "The battle between my people and the Dalek race." " But you survived, too." " Not by choice." "This means the Dalek isn't the only alien on Earth, Doctor." "There's you." "The only one of your kind in existence." "Now smile!" "Two hearts." "A binary vascular system." "Oh, I am so gonna patent this!" "You don't just collect this stuff." "You scavenge it." "This technology has been falling to Earth for centuries." "All it took was the right mind to use it properly." "Oh, the advances I've made from alien junk!" "You have no idea, Doctor." "Broadband?" "Roswell." "Last year, my scientists cultivated bacteria from the Russian crater." "Do you know what we found?" "The cure for the common cold." "Kept it within the laboratory, of course." "No need to get people excited." "Why sell one cure when I can sell 1,000 palliatives?" "Do you know what a Dalek is, Van Statten?" "A Dalek is honest." "It does what it was born to do for the survival of its species." "That creature is better than you." "In that case, I will be true to myself and continue." "That thing downstairs is going to kill every last one of us!" "Nothing can escape the Cage." "It's woken up." "It knows I'm here." "It's going to get out." "Van Statten, I swear, no one on this base is safe." "No one on this planet." "Agh!" " Hold it!" " Level three access." "Special clearance from Mr Van Statten." "Don't get too close." "Hello." "Are you in pain?" "I'm Rose Tyler." "My friend can help." "He's called the Doctor." "What's your name?" "Yes." "What?" "I am in pain." "They torture me, but still they fear me." "Do you fear me?" "No." "I am dying." "No, we can help." "I welcome death." "But I am glad that before I die" "I have met a human who was not afraid." "Isn't there anything I can do?" "My race is dead." "I shall die alone." "Rose, no!" "Genetic material extrapolated!" "Initiate cellular reconstruction!" "What the hell have you done?" "What you gonna do?" "Sucker me to death" " Do something!" " Condition Red." "Condition Red." "This is not a drilll" "Release me if you want to live." " You've got to keep it in that cell." " It's all my fault." "It can't get out." "That lock's got a billion combinations." "A Dalek can calculate 1,000 billion combinations in a second." "Open fire!" " Don't shoot it." "I want it unharmed." " Rose, get out of there!" "De Maggio, get the civilians out alive." " That is your job." "You got that?" " Come with me." "Abandoning the Cage, sir." "We're losing power." "It's draining the base." "It's draining the entire power supplies of Utah." " It's downloading." " Downloading what?" " The entire West Coast has gone down." " It's not just energy." "That Dalek absorbed the internet." "It knows everything." "The Daleks survive in me!" " The cameras in the Vault are down." " We've only got emergency power." "Kill it now!" "All guards to converge on the Metaltron Cage immediately." "Civilians." "Let 'em through." "Cover the north wall." "Maintain suppressing fire along the perimeter." "Agh!" " Stop the shooting." " But it's killing them." "They're dispensable." "That Dalek is unique." "I don't want a scratch on it." "Do you hear me?" "Do you hear me?" "That's us, below the surface." "That's the Cage." "That's the Dalek." " Do you have any alien weapons?" " Yes, but the Dalek's between us and them." "We've got to keep that thing alive." " We could seal the Vault." " Trapping everyone." "Rose is down there." "I won't let that happen." " What's this area?" " Weapons testing." "Give guns to the technicians, the lawyers, everyone." "It's your only chance of killing it." "Stairs!" "That's more like it." "It hasn't got legs." "It's stuck." "It's coming!" "Get up!" "Great big alien death machine - defeated by a flight of stairs." " Listen to me." " I demand that you return to your Cage." "If you want to negotiate, Mr Van Statten will agree to talk." "I accept that we imprisoned you and maybe that was wrong, but people have died." "That stops right now." "The killing stops." "Have you got that?" "I demand that you surrender." "Is that clear?" "Elevate!" "My God!" "Adam, get her out of here." " Come with us." "You can't stop it." " Someone's gotta try." "Now get out!" "Don't look back." "Just run." "I thought you were the great expert." "Why not just reason with this Dalek?" "It must be willing to negotiate." " Everything needs something." " What's the nearest town?" " Salt Lake City." "Population one million." " All dead." " The Dalek will murder every living creature." " Why?" "Because it believes they should die." "Anything different is wrong." "It's the ultimate in racial cleansing, and you've let it loose." "The Dalek is surrounded by a force field, but it's not indestructible." "Concentrate your fire and you might get through." "Aim for the eyepiece." "That's the weak spot." "Thank you, Doctor, but I think I know how to fight one single tin robot" "Positions!" "Hold your fire." "You two, get the hell out of there!" " It was looking at me." " It wants to slaughter us." " It was looking right at me." " It's just a metal eye thing." " It's looking all around." " I don't know." "It's like there's something inside, looking at me like..." "Like it knows me." "On my mark..." "Open fire!" "We've got vision." "It wants us to see." "Fall back!" "Maybe we should consider abandoning this place." "There's no power to the helipad." " We can't get out." " You said we could seal the Vault." "It was designed to be a bunker in a nuclear war." "Steel bulkheads close off the area." " There's not enough power." " Reroute the emergency power." " We'd need a computer genius." " Good thing you've got me, then!" " You want to help?" " I don't want to die, Doctor." " Nobody knows this software better than me." " Sir..." "I shall speak only to the Doctor." "You're gonna get rusty." "I fed off the DNA of Rose Tyler." "Extrapolating the biomass of a time traveller regenerated me." " What's your next trick?" " I have been searching for the Daleks." "Yeah, I saw - downloading the internet." "What did you find?" " I scanned your satellites and radio telescopes." " And?" "Nothing." "Where shall I get my orders now?" " You're just a soldier without commands." " Then I shall follow the Primary Order - the Dalek instinct to destroy, to conquer!" "What for?" "What's the point?" "Don't you see it's all gone?" "Everything you were, everything you stood for." "Then what should I do?" "All right, then." "If you want orders, follow this one." " Kill yourself." " The Daleks must survive!" "The Daleks have failed." "Why don't you make the Daleks extinct, rid the universe of your filth?" "Why don't you just die?" "You would make a good Dalek." "Seal the Vault." "I'll feed power from the ground defences to the bulkheads." " It's years since I've worked so fast!" " Having fun?" "She's still down there." "This isn't the best time." " Where are you?" " Level 49." "Keep moving." "The Vault's being sealed off up at level 46." " Can't you stop 'em closing?" " I can't wait and I can't help you." "Now, for God's sake, runl" " Done it." "We've got power." " The Dalek's behind them." "Nearly there." "Give us two seconds." "I can't sustain the power." "The system is failing." "We have to close the bulkheads." "I'm sorry." "Come on!" "The Vault is sealed." "Rose, where are you?" "Did you make it?" "Sorry." "I was a bit slow." "See you, then, Doctor." "It wasn't your fault." "Remember that, OK?" "It wasn't your fault." "And do you know what?" "I wouldn't have missed it for the world." "Exterminatel" " I killed her." " I'm sorry." "I said I'd protect her." "She was only here because of me, and you're sorry?" "I could have killed that Dalek in its cell, but you stopped me." " It was the prize of my collection." " Was it worth it?" "Worth all those men's deaths?" "Worth Rose?" "Let me tell you something." "Mankind goes into space to explore." " To be part of something greater." " Exactly!" "I wanted to touch the stars." "You just want to drag the stars down, underground underneath tons of sand and dirt, and label them." "You're as far from the stars as you can get." "And you took her down with you." "She was 19 years old." "Go on, then." "Kill me." "Why are you doing this?" "I am armed." "I will kill." " It is my purpose." " They're all dead because of you." "They are dead because of us." "And now what?" "What are you waiting for?" "I feel your fear." "What do you expect?" "Daleks do not fear." "Must not fear." "You gave me life." "What else have you given me?" "I am contaminated." " You were quick on your feet" " I'm not the one who sealed the Vault." "Open the bulkhead or Rose Tyler dies." "You're alive!" "Can't get rid of me" "I thought you were dead." "Open the bulkheadl Don't do it." "What use are emotions if you will not save the woman you love?" "I killed her once." "I can't do it again." "What do we do now, you bleeding heart?" "What the hell do we do?" " Kill it." " The alien weapons are in the Vault." "Only the catalogued ones." "Broken." "Broken." "Hairdryer." "Mr Van Statten tends to wipe people's memory." "I kept this in case I needed to fight my way out one day." " What, YOU in a fight?" " I could do." "Are you gonna throw your A levels at 'em" "Oh, yes." "Lock and load!" " Don't kill 'em." "You didn't kill me." " But why not?" "Why are you alive?" "My function is to kill." "What am I?" "What am I?" "Don't move." "It's beginning to question itself." "Van Statten, you tortured me." " Why?" " I wanted to help you." "I don't know." "I thought if we could get through to you, we could mend you." "I wanted you better." "I'm sorry." "I'm so sorry." "I swear." "I just wanted you to talk!" "Then hear me talk now." "Exterminate!" "Exterminate!" "Exterminate!" "Don't do it." "Don't kill him!" "You don't have to do this any more." "There must be something else, not just killing." "What else is there?" "What do you want?" "I want freedom." "You're out." "You made it." " I never thought I'd feel the sunlight again." " How... does... it... feel?" "Get out of the way!" "Get out of the way now!" " No." "I won't let you do this." " That thing killed hundreds of people." "It's not the one pointing the gun at me." "I've got to do this." "I've got to end it." "The Daleks destroyed my home, my people." " I've got nothing left." " Look at it." "What's it doing?" "It wants the sunlight." " It can't..." " It couldn't kill Van Statten or me." "It's changing." "What about you, Doctor?" "What the hell are you changing into?" "I couldn't..." "I wasn't..." "Oh, Rose." "They're all dead." "Why do we survive?" "I don't know." "I am the last of the Daleks." "You're not even that." "Rose did more than regenerate you." "You've absorbed her DNA." "You're mutating." "Into what?" "Something new." "I'm sorry." "Isn't that better?" "Not for a Dalek." "I can feel." "So many ideas." "So much darkness." "Rose, give me orders." "Order me to die." "I can't do that." "This is not life." "This is sickness." "I shall not be like you." "Order my destruction!" "Obey!" "Obey!" "Obey!" "Do it." "Are you frightened, Rose Tyler?" "Yeah." "So am I." "Exterminate." " What the hell are you doing?" " 200 personnel dead because of you, sir." "Wipe his memory and leave him by the road someplace." "You can't do this." "I am Henry Van Statten!" "By tonight, you'll be a homeless, brainless junkie living on the streets of San Diego, Seattle, Sacramento." "Someplace beginning with S." "A piece of home." "Better than nothing." " Is that the end of it, the Time War?" " I'm the only one left." "I win." "How about that" "The Dalek survived." "Maybe some of your people did, too." "I know." "In here." " Feels like there's no one." " Well, then." " Good thing I'm not going anywhere." " Yeah." "We'd better get out." "Van Statten's disappeared." "Goddard says they're filling this with cement." " About time!" " I'll have to go back home." "You'd better hurry up." " Next flight to Heathrow is at 1500." " Adam said that he wanted to see the stars." "Tell him to stand outside, then." "He's all on his own, and he DID help." " He left you there." " So did you." " We've got to leave!" " Plus, he's a bit pretty." "I hadn't noticed." " On your own head." " What are you doing?" "She said cement!" "She wasn't joking." "We're going to get sealed in!" "Doctor?" "What are you doing standing inside a box?" "Rose?" "The fourth great and bountiful human empire - Planet Earth at its height." "Kronkburger - one cheese, one pajatos." "Something's wrong." " My watch must be wrong." " Your history's not as good as you thought." " It's perfect." " Obviously not." "I can taste it." "Engage safety." "Someone shouldn't be here." " Who are you?" " I'm the Editor." "What's happening?" "And spike." "Agh!"

"[HISSES]" "[SPEAKING IN PARSELTONGUE]" "[MAN speaking INDlSTlNCTLY OVER RADIO]" "Bloody kids." "MAN:" "How fastidious you've become, Wormtail." "As I recall, you once called the nearest gutter pipe home." "Could it be that the task of nursing me..." "[stair CREAKS] ...has become wearisome for you?" "Oh, no." "No, no, my Lord Voldemort." "I only meant perhaps if we were to do it without the boy." "No!" "The boy is everything!" "It cannot be done without him." "And it will be done." "Exactly as I said." "l will not disappoint you, my Lord." "VOLDEMORT:" "Good." "First, gather our old comrades." "Send them a sign." "[SNAKE SPEAKS in PARSELTONGUE]" "VOLDEMORT:" "Nagini tells me the old Muggle caretaker is standing just outside the door." "Step aside, Wormtail, so I can give our guest a proper greeting." "Avada Kedavra!" "[FRANK yelling] [KETTLE whistling]" "HERMlONE:" "Harry." "Ah!" "Harry!" "Are you all right?" "Hermione." "Bad dream." "When did you get here?" "Just now." "You?" "Last night." "Wake up!" "Wake up, Ronald!" "Bloody hell." "Honestly, get dressed." "And don't go back to sleep." "Come on, Ron!" "Your mother says breakfast's ready!" "HARRY:" "Ron, where are we actually going?" "RON:" "Don't know." "Hey, Dad." "Where are we going?" "Haven't the foggiest." "Keep up!" "MAN:" "Arthur!" "It's about time, son." "Sorry, Amos." "Some of us had a bit of a sleepy start." "This is Amos Diggory, everyone." "Works with me at the Ministry." "And this strapping young lad must be Cedric, am I right?" "Yes, sir." "This way." "Merlin's beard!" "You must be Harry Potter." "Yes, sir." "Great, great pleasure." "Pleasure to meet you too, sir." "AMOS:" "Yes, it's just over there." "ARTHUR:" "Shall we?" "AMOS:" "Oh, yeah." "ARTHUR:" "We don't want to be late." "AMOS:" "Come on." "Nearly there now." "Get yourself into a good position." "Why are they all standing around that manky old boot?" "That isn't just any manky old boot." "lt's a Portkey." "AMOS:" "Time to go!" "What's a Portkey?" "Ready!" "After three." "One, two..." "Harry!" "...three!" "[ALL yelling]" "Let go, kids!" "What?" "!" "ARTHUR:" "Let go!" "[KIDS yelling]" "[GRUNTlNG]" "I'll bet that cleared your sinuses, eh?" "AMOS:" "Total shambles, as per usual." "Thanks." "ARTHUR:" "Go on, look at that!" "Well, kids, welcome to the Quidditch World Cup!" "ARTHUR:" "Stay together!" "Keep up, girls!" "Look!" "ARTHUR:" "Come on!" "Keep up, girls!" "Whoa!" "Aah!" "Blimey!" "Parting of the ways, I think, old chap." "See you at the match." "See you." "Cedric." "Ced, come on." "FRED:" "See you later, Cedric." "Ah." "Home sweet home." "HARRY:" "What?" "ARTHUR:" "Excellent, excellent." "HERMlONE:" "Ginny, look!" "ARTHUR:" "All to the bath." "HERMlONE:" "Look." "Girls, choose a bunk and unpack." "Ron, get out of the kitchen." "We're all hungry." "FRED AND GEORGE:" "Get out of the kitchen!" "Feet off the table!" "FRED AND GEORGE:" "Feet off the table!" "I love magic." "VENDOR:" "Get your Quidditch World Cup programs here!" "Blimey, Dad." "How far up are we?" "LUClUS:" "Well, put it this way:" "If it rains you'll be the first to know." "Father and I are in the minister's box by personal invitation of Cornelius Fudge himself." "Don't boast, Draco." "There's no need with these people." "Do enjoy yourself, won't you?" "While you can." "Yeah!" "Yeah!" "AMOS:" "Come on up." "Take your seats." "I told you these seats would be worth waiting for." "Come on!" "FRED:" "It's the Irish!" "There's Troy!" "GEORGE:" "And Mullet!" "FRED:" "And Moran!" "CROWD [chanting]:" "Ireland!" "Ireland!" "Ireland!" "GEORGE:" "Here come the Bulgarians!" "FRED:" "Yes!" "ALL:" "Whoa!" "GINNY:" "Who's that?" "That, sis, is the best Seeker in the world." "CROWD [chanting]:" "KrUm!" "KrUm!" "KrUm!" "HARRY, RON, FRED AND GEORGE:" "Krum!" "Yes!" "Whoo!" "Good evening!" "As Minister for Magic it gives me great pleasure to welcome each and every one of you to the final of the 422nd Quidditch World Cup!" "Let the match begin!" "[cheering]" "RON AND HARRY chanting:" "KrUm!" "KrUm!" "KrUm!" "[FRED AND GEORGE singing gibberish]" "There's no one like Krum." "FRED:" "Krum?" "Dumb Krum?" "He's like a bird, the way he rides the wind." "He's more than an athlete." "Dumb Krum." "He's an artist." "l think you're in love, Ron." "RON:" "Shut up." "[singing] ViktOr, I lOve you" "Viktor, I do" "When we're apart My heart beats only for you" "[explosions]" "Sounds like the Irish have got their pride on." "ARTHUR:" "Stop!" "Stop it!" "It's not the Irish." "We've gotta get out of here." "Now!" "[screaming]" "MAN:" "Get out, it's the Death Eaters!" "Get back to the Portkey, everybody, and stick together!" "Fred, George!" "Ginny is your responsibility." "Go!" "Harry!" "[DEATH EATERS chanting lNDlSTlNCTLY]" "GEORGE:" "Keep up, you lot!" "Harry!" "Harry!" "Harry!" "[panting AND grunting]" "MorsmOrdre!" "RON:" "Harry!" "Where are you?" "HERMlONE:" "Harry!" "RON:" "We've been looking for you for ages!" "Thought we lost you, mate." "HARRY:" "What is that?" "[GROANS]" "wizards:" "Stupefy!" "ARTHUR:" "Stop!" "That's my son!" "Ron, Harry, Hermione, you all right?" "We came back for Harry." "Which of you conjured it?" "Crouch, you can't possi" "Do not lie!" "You've been discovered at the scene of the crime." "Crime?" "Barty!" "They're just kids." "What crime?" "It's the Dark Mark, Harry." "It's his mark." "What, Voldemort?" "Those people tonight, in the masks, they're his too, aren't they?" "His followers?" "Yeah." "Death Eaters." "Follow me." "There was a man, before." "There!" "All of you, this way!" "ARTHUR:" "A man, Harry?" "Who?" "I don't know." "I didn't see his face." "[hissing]" "WOMAN:" "Anything from the trolley?" "Anything from the trolley?" "Anything from the trolley, dears?" "RON:" "Packet of Drooble's and a Licorice Wand." "On second thought, just the Drooble's." "lt's all right, I'll get it." "Don't worry." "Just the Drooble's." "Thanks." "Two Pumpkin Pasties, please." "Thank you." "WOMAN:" "Anything sweet for you, dear?" "Oh, no, I'm not hungry." "Thank you." "WOMAN:" "Anything from the trolley?" "HERMlONE:" "This is horrible." "How can the Ministry not know who conjured it?" "Wasn't there any security or...?" "Loads, according to Dad." "That's what worried them so much." "Happened right under their noses." "It's hurting again, isn't it?" "Your scar." "I'm fine." "You know Sirius will want to hear about this what you saw at the World Cup and the dream." "Hedwig." "There we go." "[WHlNNYlNG]" "[chattering]" "Clear the runway!" "Aah!" "ALL:" "Whoa!" "Well, there's something you don't see every day." "DUMBLEDORE:" "Well, now we're all settled in and sorted I'd like to make an announcement." "This castle will not only be your home this year but home to some very special guests as well." "You see, Hogwarts has been chosen...." "Yes, what is it?" "What is it?" "[whispering]" "Tell them to wait." "Tell them to wait." "Wait." "So Hogwarts has been chosen to host a legendary event:" "The Triwizard Tournament." "For those of you who do not know..." "BOTH:" "Brilliant." "...the Triwizard Tournament brings together three schools for a series of magical contests." "From each school, a single student is selected to compete." "Now let me be clear." "If chosen, you stand alone." "And trust me when I say these contests are not for the faint-hearted." "But more of that later." "For now, please join me in welcoming the lovely ladies of the Beauxbatons Academy of Magic..." "[DOORS OPEN] ...and their headmistress, Madame Maxime." "[sighing]" "RON:" "Bloody hell." "Blimey." "That's one big woman." "And now our friends from the north." "Please greet the proud sons of Durmstrang and their high master, Igor Karkaroff." "[GRUNTlNG]" "STUDENT:" "Oh, it's Krum!" "Blimey, it's him!" "Viktor Krum!" "KARKAROFF:" "Albus." "Igor." "[THUNDER ROLLING]" "Professor Dumbly-dorr, my horses have traveled a long way." "They will need attending to." "Don't worry, Madame Maxime." "Our gamekeeper, Hagrid, is more than capable of seeing to them." "MAXlME:" "But you know, Monsieur Hagrid they drink only single-malt whiskey." "Ah!" "You idiot!" "DUMBLEDORE:" "Your attention, please!" "I'd like to say a few words." "Eternal glory." "That is what awaits the student who wins the Triwizard Tournament." "But to do this, that student must survive three tasks." "Three extremely dangerous tasks." "BOTH:" "Wicked." "DUMBLEDORE:" "For this reason the Ministry has seen fit to impose a new rule." "To explain all this we have the head of the Department of lnternational Magical Cooperation Mr. Bartemius Crouch." "[THUNDER crashing]" "[screaming]" "RON:" "Bloody hell. lt's Mad-Eye Moody." "Alastor Moody?" "The Auror?" "Auror?" "Dark-wizard catcher." "Half the cells in Azkaban are filled thanks to him." "He's supposed to be mad as a hatter, though, these days." "[GRUNTlNG]" "My dear old friend, thanks for coming." "Stupid ceiling." "Thank you." "What's that he's drinking, do you suppose?" "I don't know, but I don't think it's pumpkin juice." "CROUCH:" "After due consideration the Ministry has concluded that, for their own safety no student under the age of 1 7 shall be allowed to put forth their name for the Triwizard Tournament." "This decision is final." "FRED:" "That's rubbish!" "That's rubbish!" "You don't know what you're doing!" "Silence!" "They're not too happy about that, then." "The Goblet of Fire." "Anyone wishing to submit themselves to the tournament need only write their name upon a piece of parchment and throw it in the flame before this hour on Thursday night." "Do not do so lightly." "If chosen, there's no turning back." "As from this moment, the Triwizard Tournament has begun." "[ship CREAKlNG]" "[DOOR SQUEAKS]" "Alastor Moody." "Ex-Auror Ministry malcontent and your new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher." "I am here because Dumbledore asked me." "End of story, goodbye, the end." "Any questions?" "When it comes to the Dark Arts I believe in a practical approach." "But first, which of you can tell me how many Unforgivable Curses there are?" "Three, sir." "And they are so named?" "Because they are unforgivable." "The use of any one of them will" "Will earn you a one-way ticket to Azkaban, correct." "The Ministry says you're too young to see what these curses do." "I say different!" "You need to know what you're up against!" "You need to be prepared." "You need to find another place to put your chewing gum besides the underside of your desk, Mr. Finnigan!" "No way." "The old codger can see out the back of his head." "MOODY:" "And hear across classrooms!" "So which curse shall we see first?" "Weasley!" "Yes?" "Stand." "Give us a curse." "Well, my dad did tell me about one." "The Imperius Curse." "Oh, yeah, your father would know all about that." "Gave the Ministry quite a bit of grief a few years ago." "Perhaps this will show you why." "[INSECTS buzzing]" "Hello." "Lovely little beauty." "[CHITTERlNG]" "EngOrgio." "Imperio!" "[gasping AND laughing]" "MOODY:" "Don't worry. lt's completely harmless." "If she bites she's lethal." "[DRACO CACKLlNG]" "What are you laughing at?" "Get off!" "Talented, isn't she?" "What should I have her do next?" "Jump out the window?" "Drown herself?" "Scores of witches and wizards have claimed that they only did You-Know-Who's bidding under the influence of the Imperius Curse." "But here's the rub:" "How do we sort out the liars?" "Another, another." "Up, up." "Come on." "Longbottom, is it?" "Up." "Professor Sprout tells me you have an aptitude for herbology." "There's the...." "The Cruciatus Curse." "Correct, correct." "Come, come." "Particularly nasty." "The torture curse." "Crucio!" "[SQUEALING]" "Stop it!" "Can't you see it's bothering him?" "Stop it!" "Um...." "Perhaps you could give us the last Unforgivable Curse, Miss Granger." "No?" "Avada Kedavra!" "The Killing Curse." "Only one person is known to have survived it and he's sitting in this room." "[BELL tolling]" "RON:" "Brilliant, isn't he?" "Completely demented, of course, and terrifying to be in the same room with but he's really been there, you know?" "He's looked evil in the eye." "There's a reason those curses are unforgivable." "To perform them in a classroom...." "I mean, did you see Neville's face?" "Neville?" "Son?" "You all right?" "Come on." "We'll have a cup of tea." "I want to show you something." "GIRL:" "We're gonna be late!" "[chattering]" "[APPLAUSE]" "Come on, Cedric." "Put it in!" "[APPLAUSE]" "Eternal glory." "Be brilliant, wouldn't it?" "Three years from now, when we're old enough to be chosen." "Yeah, rather you than me." "FRED AND GEORGE:" "Yes!" "Thank you, thank you." "Well, lads, we've done it." "Cooked it up just this morning." "It's not going to work." "Oh, yeah?" "And why is that, Granger?" "You see this?" "This is an Age Line." "Dumbledore drew it himself." "So?" "So a genius like Dumbledore couldn't possibly be fooled by a dodge as pathetically dimwitted as an Aging Potion." "But that's why it's so brilliant." "Because it's so pathetically dimwitted." "Ready, Fred?" "Ready, George." "BOTH:" "Bottoms up." "Yes!" "Yes!" "Yeah!" "Yes!" "Ready?" "FRED AND GEORGE:" "Yes!" "[BOTH YELLING]" "You said!" "You said!" "Oh, right, you want a piece of me?" "!" "l'll tear your ears off!" "Now you're making me laugh." "Take this!" "Come on!" "[CHANTING] Fight!" "Fight!" "Fight!" "FRED:" "We're "old school," eh?" "GEORGE:" "Yeah, but you look older!" "[BELL tolling]" "[chattering]" "DUMBLEDORE:" "Sit down." "Please." "Now the moment you've all been waiting for:" "The champion selection." "The Durmstrang champion is Viktor Krum." "[cheering]" "The champion for Beauxbatons is Fleur Delacour." "[cheering]" "The Hogwarts champion, Cedric Diggory!" "[cheering]" "Excellent!" "We now have our three champions." "But in the end, only one will go down in history." "Only one will hoist this chalice of champions this vessel of victory the Triwizard Cup!" "Harry Potter." "Harry Potter?" "No." "No." "Harry Potter!" "Go on, Harry." "Harry, for goodness sake." "[whispering]" "BOY 1 :" "He's a cheat!" "BOY 2:" "He's not even 1 7 yet!" "[INSTRUMENTS WHlRRING AND clicking]" "MAXlME:" "It's wrong, I tell you!" "MOODY:" "You French tart." "Everything is a conspiracy theory!" "DUMBLEDORE:" "Quiet!" "I can't think!" "Everything is a conspiracy theory!" "MAXlME:" "I protest." "DUMBLEDORE:" "Harry." "l protest!" "Did you put your name in the Goblet of Fire?" "No, sir." "Did you ask one of the older students..." "...to do it for you?" "No, sir." "You're absolutely sure?" "Yes." "Yes, sir." "But of course he is lying." "MOODY:" "The hell he is!" "The Goblet of Fire is an exceptionally powerful magical object." "Only an exceptionally powerful Confundus Charm could've hoodwinked it." "Magic way beyond the talents of a fourth year." "You seem to have given this a fair bit of thought, Mad-Eye." "It was once my job to think as dark wizards do, Karkaroff perhaps you remember." "DUMBLEDORE:" "This doesn't help, Alastor." "Leave this to you, Barty." "The rules are absolute." "The Goblet of Fire constitutes a binding magical contract." "Mr. Potter has no choice." "He is, as of tonight a Triwizard champion." "McGONAGALL:" "This can't go on, Albus." "First the Dark Mark." "Now this?" "What do you suggest, Minerva?" "Put an end to it." "Don't let Potter compete." "You heard Barty." "The rules are clear." "Well, the devil with Barty and his rules." "And since when did you accommodate the Ministry?" "Headmaster, I, too, find it difficult to believe this mere coincidence." "However, if we are to truly discover the meaning of these events perhaps we should, for the time being let them unfold." "What--?" "Do nothing?" "Offer him up as bait?" "Potter is a boy, not a piece of meat." "I agree." "With Severus." "Alastor, keep an eye on Harry, will you?" "l can do that." "Don't let him know, though." "He must be anxious enough as it is knowing what lies ahead." "Then again, we all are." "[THUNDER rumbling]" "How did you do it?" "Never mind." "Doesn't matter." "Might've let your best friend know, though." "Let you know what?" "You know bloody well what." "I didn't ask for this to happen, Ron." "Okay?" "You're being stupid." "Yeah, that's me." "Ron Weasley, Harry Potter's stupid friend." "I didn't put my name in that cup." "I don't want eternal glory." "I just wanna be...." "Look, I don't know what happened tonight and I don't know why." "It just did." "Okay?" "Piss off." "[FLASH BULB clicks]" "What a charismatic quartet." "Hello." "I'm Rita Skeeter." "I write for the Daily Prophet." "But of course you know that, don't you?" "It's you we don't know." "You're the juicy news." "What quirks lurk beneath those rosy cheeks?" "What mysteries do the muscles mask?" "Does courage lie beneath those curls?" "In short, what makes a champion tick?" ""Me, Myself I" want to know." "Not to mention my rabid readers." "So who's feeling up to sharing?" "Hm?" "Shall we start with the youngest?" "Lovely." "This is cozy." "It's a broom cupboard." "You should feel right at home, then." "Don't mind if I use a Quick-Quotes Quill, do you?" "Oh, no." "So tell me, Harry." "Here you sit, a mere boy of 1 2" "I'm 14." "Sorry." "about to compete against three students not only vastly more emotionally mature than yourself but who have mastered spells that you wouldn't attempt in your dizziest daydreams." "Concerned?" "I-- l don't know." "I haven't really thought about it." "RITA:" "Just ignore the quill." "Then, of course, you're no ordinary boy of 1 2, are you?" "Fourteen." "Your story's legend." "Do you think it was the trauma of your past that made you so keen to enter such a dangerous tournament?" "No, I didn't enter." "Of course you didn't." "Everyone loves a rebel, Harry." "Scratch that last." "Speaking of your parents, were they alive how do you think they'd feel?" "Proud?" "Or concerned that your attitude shows, at best, a pathological need for attention at worst, a psychotic death wish?" "Hey, my eyes aren't "glistening with the ghosts of my past."" "[SCREECHING]" "sirius:" "Harry, I cOuldn't risk sending Hedwig." "Since the World Cup, the Ministry'S been intercepting more and more owls and She's too easily recognized." "We need to talk, Harry, face-to-face." "Meet me in the Gryffindor common room, 1 :00 this saturday night." "And make sure you're alone." "sirius." "P.S.:" "Aah!" "The bird bites." "Aah." "Sirius?" "RITA:" "Harry POtter, age 1 2 suspect entrant in the Triwizard tournament." "His eyes swimming with the ghosts Of his past and choking back tears" " Aah!" "[fire HlSSES]" "[HlSSES]" "[GASPS]" "Sirius." "How--?" "I don't have much time, so let me get straight to it." "Did you or did you not put your name into the Goblet of Fire?" "No!" "Shh." "I had to ask." "Now, tell me about this dream of yours." "You mentioned Wormtail and Voldemort." "But who was the third man in the room?" "l don't know." "You didn't hear a name?" "No." "Voldemort was giving him a job to do." "Something important." "And what was that?" "He wanted me." "I don't know why." "But he was gonna use this man to get to me." "But, I mean, it was only a dream, right?" "Yes." "It's just a dream." "Look, Harry." "The Death Eaters at the World Cup, your name rising from that goblet these are not just coincidences." "Hogwarts isn't safe anymore." "What are you saying?" "I'm saying the devils are inside the walls." "Igor Karkaroff?" "He was a Death Eater." "And no one, no one stops being a Death Eater." "Then there's Barty Crouch." "Heart of stone." "Sent his own son to Azkaban." "[DOOR opening in distance]" "You think one of them put my name in the goblet?" "I haven't a clue who put your name in that goblet but whoever did is no friend to you." "People die in this tournament." "l'm not ready for this, Sirius." "You don't have a choice." "[FOOTSTEPS approaching]" "Someone's coming." "Keep your friends close, Harry." "Who were you talking to?" "What?" "Who says I was talking to anyone?" "l heard voices." "Maybe you're imagining things." "Wouldn't be the first time." "You're probably just practicing for your next interview, I expect." "NEVILLE:" "Amazing." "Amazing!" "Neville." "You're doing it again." "Oh, right, sorry." ""Magical Water Plants of the Highland lochs"?" "Moody gave it to me." "That day we had tea." "It's already been through enough people." "Why don't you just go and talk to him yourself?" "Ron, this is your problem, not mine." "What do you want me to say again?" "You do it." "Go." "Ronald would like me to tell you that Seamus told him that Dean was told by Parvati that Hagrid's looking for you." "Is that right?" "Well, you" "What?" "Uh...." "Are you sure you won't do this?" "You do it." "Dean was told by Parvati that...." "Please don't ask me to say it again." "Hagrid's looking for you." "Well, you can tell Ronald-- -l'm not an owl!" "HAGRID:" "Did you bring your father's cloak, like I asked you?" "HARRY:" "Yeah, I brought the cloak." "Hagrid, where are we going?" "You'll see soon enough." "Now pay attention, this is important." "What's with the flower?" "Hagrid, have you combed your hair?" "As a matter of fact, I have." "You might like to try the same thing now and again." "[distant ROARING]" "[SNARLING]" "MAXlME:" "Hagrid?" "The cloak!" "Put the cloak on!" "Bonsoir, Olympe." "Oh, Hagrid." "I thought perhaps you weren't coming." "I thought perhaps you had forgotten me." "Couldn't forget you, Olympe." "Ugh." "What is it you wanted to show me?" "When we spoke earlier, you sounded so exhilarated." "You'll be glad you came." "Trust me." "[ROARING]" "[SPEAKS IN FRENCH]" "MAXlME:" "Can we get closer?" "Dragons?" "That's the first task?" "You're joking." "HAGRID:" "Come on, Harry." "These are seriously misunderstood creatures." "Oh, crikey!" "Although, I have to admit that Horntail is a right nasty piece of work." "Poor Ron nearly fainted just seeing him, you know." "Ron was here?" "Oh, sure." "His brother Charlie helped to bring him over from Romania." "Didn't Ron tell you that?" "No, he didn't." "He didn't tell me a thing." "BOY 1 :" "You cheat, Potter." "BOY 2:" "You stink, Potter." "Good luck, Potter." "BOY 3:" "Potter stinks!" "Cedric rules." "HARRY:" "Thanks." "Like the badge?" "Excuse me." "BOY 1 :" "Harry." "Hey!" "Read the badge, Potter!" "Can I have a word?" "All right." "BOY 2:" "You stink, Potter!" "BOY 3:" "Potter, you stink!" "BOY 4:" "Harry Potter smells!" "Dragons." "That's the first task." "They've got one for each of us." "BOY 2:" "Come on, Ced!" "Are you serious?" "And Fleur and Krum, do they--?" "Yes." "BOY 2:" "Come on, Ced, leave him." "cedric:" "Right." "BOY 2:" "He's not worth it." "BOY 1 :" "Read the badges, Potter!" "Hey, listen." "About the badges." "l've asked them not to wear them, but" "Don't worry about it." "It's not like I try to blow things up, exactly." "It just happens a fair bit." "You have to admit, though, fire's pretty fascinating." "You're a right foul git, you know that?" "You think so?" "l know so." "Anything else?" "Yeah." "Stay away from me." "Fine." "CRABBE:" "There's Potter." "Cheat." "MALFOY:" "Why so tense, Potter?" "My father and I have a bet, you see." "I don't think you're gonna last 1 0 minutes in this tournament." "He disagrees." "He thinks you won't last five." "I don't give a damn what your father thinks, Malfoy." "He's vile and cruel." "And you're just pathetic." "Pathetic?" "Oh, no, you don't, sonny!" "Aah!" "MOODY:" "I'll teach you to curse someone when their back is turned!" "You stinking, cowardly, scummy..." "Professor Moody!" "...back-shooting" "What are you doing?" "Teaching." "ls that a--?" "is that a student?" "Technically, it's a ferret." "Oh!" "Ah!" "Stand still!" "Stand still!" "My father will hear about this!" "ls that a threat?" "Professor Moody!" "ls that a threat?" "Professor!" "I could tell you stories about your father that would curl even your greasy hair!" "Alastor!" "Alastor." "lt doesn't end here!" "We never use transfiguration as a punishment!" "Surely Dumbledore told you that." "He might've mentioned it." "Well, you will do well to remember it." "Away!" "You." "Come with me." "[GRUNTS]" "[GROANS]" "That's a Foe-Glass." "Lets me keep an eye on my enemies." "If I can see the whites of their eyes, they're standing right behind me." "[RUMBLING] [distant SHOUTING]" "Wouldn't even bother telling you what's in there." "You wouldn't believe it if I did." "Now what are you going to do about your dragon?" "Oh, um...." "Well, you know, I just thought I'd...." "Sit." "Listen to me, Potter." "Your pal Diggory?" "By your age, he could turn a whistle into a watch and have it sing you the time." "Miss Delacour?" "She's as much a fairy princess as I am." "As for Krum, his head may be filled with sawdust but Karkaroff's is not." "They'll have a strategy." "And you can bet that it will play to Krum's strengths." "Come on, Potter." "What are your strengths?" "Um...." "I don't know." "Well, I can fly." "I mean, I'm a fair flyer." "But I...." "Better than fair, the way I heard it." "But I'm not allowed a broom." "You're allowed a wand." "FRED:" "Bets!" "Place your bets!" "GEORGE:" "Bets taken!" "Bets taken here!" "Step up, folks!" "Who fancies a flutter in today's bloodbath?" "Smart money's on Krum to survive!" "Any bets?" "Yes, sir?" "Ten-to-1 for Fleur." "There you go." "Thank you very much." "DUMBLEDORE:" "your attention, please." "This is a great day for all Of Us." "[DRAGON roaring]" "Each of the three tasks involves very considerable danger." "Please keep your seats at all times." "VOICE:" "Psst." "This will minimize any risks you may be exposed to." "Harry?" "is that you?" "Yeah." "I'm sure we all wish Our champions..." "How are you feeling?" "Okay?" "...the greatest of luck." "The key is to concentrate." "After that, you just have to" "Battle a dragon." "[WHlMPERS]" "RITA:" "Young love." "Oh, how stirring." "If everything goes unfortunately today you two may even make the front page." "You have no business here." "This tent is for champions and friends." "No matter." "We've got what we wanted." "Good day, champions." "Gather round, please." "Now, you've waited, you've wondered, and at last the moment has arrived." "A moment only four of you can fully appreciate." "What are you doing here, Miss Granger?" "Oh, um, sorry, I'll just go." "Barty, the bag." "Champions, in a circle around me." "Miss Delacour, over here." "Mr. Krum." "And, Potter, Mr. Potter, over here." "That's right." "Now Miss Delacour, if you will." "[SNARLING]" "CROUCH:" "The Welsh Green." "[GROWLS]" "Mr. Krum." "The Chinese Fireball." "Ooh." "The Swedish Short-Snout." "Which leaves...." "The Horntail." "What's that, boy?" "Nothing." "[GRUNTS]" "CROUCH:" "The Hungarian Horntail." "[ROARING]" "These represent four very real dragons each of which has been given a golden egg to protect." "Your objective is simple:" "Collect the egg." "This you must do, for each egg contains a clue without which you cannot hope to proceed to the next task." "Any questions?" "Very well." "Good luck, champions." "Mr. Diggory, at the sound of the cannon, you may" "[rita SHRIEKlNG]" "[CROWD CHEERING]" "CROWD [chanting]:" "Diggory!" "Diggory!" "Diggory!" "DUMBLEDORE:" "Three ofour champions have now faced their dragons and so each one of them will proceed to the next task." "And now our fourth and final contestant." "CROWD [chanting]:" "Harry!" "Harry!" "Harry!" "CROWD:" "Oh!" "[DRAGON roaring] [CROWD screaming]" "[SCREECHES]" "[PANTS AND GRUNTS]" "[gasping]" "Aah!" "[ROARS]" "Your wand, Harry!" "Your wand!" "Accio FirebOlt!" "[SCREECHES]" "Yeah!" "Woo-hoo!" "Yes!" "Ooh." "Oh, my God." "[screaming]" "Yeah!" "Whoo!" "Yeah!" "Well done, dragon!" "[YELLING]" "[panting]" "[ROARS]" "[growling]" "Aah!" "[GRUNTlNG]" "[ROARING]" "[YELLING]" "[DRAGON SCREECHING]" "[CROWD murmuring]" "Yes!" "Yes!" "[BROOM SPUTTERING]" "Yes, Harry!" "Knew you wouldn't die." "Lose a leg." "Or an arm." "Pack it in altogether?" "BOTH:" "Never!" "SEAMUS:" "Shush!" "Go on, Harry." "What's the clue?" "Who wants me to open it?" "ALL:" "Yes!" "Do you want me to open it?" "Yes!" "[SCREECHING]" "[CROWN GROANING]" "What the bloody hell was that?" "All right, everyone!" "Go back to your knitting." "This is gonna be uncomfortable enough without all you nosy sods listening in." "I reckon you have to be barking mad to put your own name in the Goblet of Fire." "Caught on, have you?" "Took you long enough." "I wasn't the only one who thought you'd done it." "Everyone was saying it behind your back." "Brilliant." "That makes me feel loads better." "Least I warned you about the dragons." "Hagrid warned me about the dragons." "No, no, no, I did." "No, don't you remember?" "I told Hermione to tell you that Seamus told me that Parvati told Dean that Hagrid was looking for you." "Seamus never actually told me anything, so it was really me all along." "I thought we'd be all right, you know after you'd figured that out." "Who--?" "Who could possibly figure that out?" "That's completely mental." "Yeah. lsn't it?" "I suppose I was a bit distraught." "Boys." "[OWLS SCREECHING]" "[whispering]" "BOTH:" "Hi, Harry." "Cho, Harry's looking at you." "CHO:" "Shush." "HERMlONE:" "Look at this!" "I can't believe it!" "She's done it again." ""Miss Granger, a plain but ambitious girl seems to be developing a taste for famous wizards." "Her latest prey, sources report is none other than the Bulgarian bonbon, Viktor Krum." "No word yet on how Harry Potter's taking this latest emotional blow."" "Parcel for you, Mr. Weasley." "Oh, thank you, Nigel." "[CLEARS THROAT]" "Not now, Nigel." "Later." "Go on." "I told him I'd get him Harry's autograph." "Oh, look, Mum's sent me something." "Mum sent me a dress." "Well, it does match your eyes." "Is there a bonnet?" "Aha." "Nose down, Harry." "Ginny, these must be for you." "l'm not wearing that, it's ghastly." "What are you on about?" "They're not for Ginny." "They're for you." "Dress robes." "Dress robes?" "For what?" "McGONAGALL:" "The Yule Ball has been a tradition..." "[RECORD scratching] ...of the Triwizard Tournament since its inception." "On Christmas Eve night, we and our guests gather in the Great Hall for a night of well-mannered frivolity." "As representatives of the host school I expect each and every one of you to put your best foot forward." "And I mean this literally, because the Yule Ball is, first and foremost a dance." "[excited CHATTERING]" "[GROANING]" "Silence!" "The house of Godric Gryffindor has commanded the respect of the wizard world for nearly 1 0 centuries." "I will not have you, in the course of a single evening, besmirching that name by behaving like a babbling, bumbling band of baboons." "Try saying that five times fast, huh?" "McGONAGALL:" "Now, to dance is to let the body breathe." "Inside every girl, a secret swan slumbers longing to burst forth and take flight." "Something's about to burst out of Eloise Midgen, but I don't think it's a swan." "Inside every boy, a lordly lion prepared to prance." "Mr." "Weasley." "Yes?" "Will you join me, please?" "Now, place your right hand on my waist." "Where?" "My waist." "[BOY whistles]" "And extend your arm." "Mr. Filch, if you please." "[BALLROOM music playing]" "One, two, three." "One, two, three." "One, two, three." "[humming]" "HARRY:" "Oi!" "Never gonna let him forget this, are you?" "BOTH:" "Never." "McGONAGALL:" "Everybody come together." "Boys, on your feet!" "[humming]" "Why do they have to travel in packs?" "How are you supposed to get one on their own to ask them?" "Blimey, Harry." "You've slayed dragons." "If you can't get a date, who can?" "I think I'd take the dragon right now." "I take after my mum." "Though I didn't know her very well." "She left when I was about 3." "No, not the maternal sort, her." "Broke me dad's heart, though." "He was a tiny little fella, my dad." "I could pick him up at the age of 6 with one hand and put him up on the dresser." "He laughed so hard at that." "Very funny." "And then he died just when I started school, so...." "So I sort of had to make me own way, as it were." "But enough of me." "What about you?" "[girls chattering AND giggling]" "[HERMlONE CLEARS THROAT]" "This is mad." "At this rate, we'll be the only ones in our year without dates." "Well, us and Neville." "Yeah, but, then again, he can take himself." "It might interest you to know that Neville's already got someone." "[GROANS]" "Now I'm really depressed." "[whispers] "Get a move on or all the good ones will have gone."" "Who you going with, then?" "FRED:" "Oi, Angelina?" "[MOUTHS] What?" "[whispers] Do you wanna go to the ball with me?" "To the ball?" "Yeah, all right." "Oi, Hermione." "You're a girl." "Very well spotted." "Come with one of us?" "[GRUNTS]" "Come on. lt's one thing for a bloke to show up alone." "For a girl, it's just sad." "I won't be going alone, because, believe it or not, someone's asked me!" "And I said yes!" "Bloody hell." "She's lying, right?" "If you say so." "RON:" "Look, we've just gotta grit our teeth and do it." "Tonight, when we get back to the common room we'll both have partners." "Agreed?" "Agreed." "[BOTH GRUNT]" "[OWL SCREECHES]" "[GASPS]" "Cho!" "Harry!" "[laughing NERVOUSLY]" "Um, watch yourself on the stairs." "It's a bit icy at the top." "Okay, thanks." "Cho?" "Yes?" "Um...." "Well, I just wondered if you" "[OWLS SQUAWKING]" "I wondered if maybe you wanted to go to the ball with me." "Sorry, I didn't catch that." "I was just wondering if maybe you wanted to go to the ball with me." "Oh, um...." "Harry I'm sorry, but someone's already asked me." "And...." "Well, I've said I'll go with him." "Okay." "Yeah." "Great." "Fine." "No problem." "Okay." "Good." "Harry?" "I really am sorry." "[SIGHS]" "It's all right, Ron." "It's okay, Ron." "It's all right." "It doesn't matter." "HARRY:" "What happened to you?" "He just asked Fleur Delacour out." "What?" "What did she say?" "No, of course." "She said yes?" "RON:" "Don't be silly." "There she was, walking by." "You know how I like it when they walk." "I couldn't help it." "It just sort of slipped out." "Actually, he sort of screamed at her." "It was a bit frightening." "And what did you do then?" "What else?" "I ran for it." "I'm not cut out for this, Harry." "I don't know what got into me." "BOTH:" "Hi, Harry." "RON:" "I always liked looking at them from behind." "She's never gonna forgive me, ever." "Hey!" "[BALLROOM music PLAYS]" "[chattering]" "RON:" "Bloody hell." "Bloody hell." "Bloody...." "Oh, bloody...." "What are those?" "What are those?" "My dress robes." "Well, they're all right!" "No lace." "No dodgy little collar." "Well, I expect yours are more traditional." "Traditional?" "!" "They're ancient!" "I look like my Great Aunt Tessie!" "[sniffs]" "I smell like my Great Aunt Tessie." "Murder me, Harry." "Leave it alone!" "Poor kid. I bet she's alone in her room, crying her eyes out." "Who?" "Hermione, of course." "Come on, Harry, why do you think she wouldn't tell us who she's coming with?" "Because we'd take the mickey out of her if she did." "Nobody asked her." "Would've taken her myself if she wasn't so bloody proud." "BOTH:" "Hello, boys." "Don't you look dashing." "There you are, Potter." "Are you and Miss Patil ready?" "Ready, professor?" "To dance." "It's traditional that the three champions-- Well, in this case, four." "are the first to dance." "Surely I told you that." "No." "Oh, well, now you know." "Oh." "As for you, Mr. Weasley, you may proceed into the Great Hall with Miss Patil." "Oh, there you are." "Come on, then." "McGONAGALL:" "Come along this way." "Oh, come on." "Hi." "Now, I need you all to line up in the procession, please." "Oh, you are very late." "This way." "This way." "Come along." "She looks beautiful!" "Yeah, she does." "[giggles]" "[FANFARE playing]" "Is that Hermione Granger?" "With Viktor Krum?" "No." "Absolutely not." "Hi!" "[BATON TAPPING]" "Harry, take my waist." "What?" "Now!" "[ORCHESTRA BEGINS playing]" "[CAT PURRS]" "[humming]" "Ooh." "MAN:" "Are you ready?" "!" "[singing] Move your body like a hairy troll" "Learning to rock and roll" "Spin around like a crazy elf" "Dancing by himself" "Boogie down like a Unicorn" "NO stopping till the break of dawn" "Put your hands Up in the air" "Like an ogre who just don't care" "Can you dance like a Hippogriff?" "Ruddy pumpkinhead, isn't he?" "I don't think it was the books that had him going to the library." "May I have your arm?" "Arm." "Leg." "I'm yours." "Hot, isn't it?" "Viktor's gone to go and get drinks." "Would you care to join us?" "No, we'd not care to join you and Viktor." "What's got your wand in a knot?" "He's a Durmstrang." "You're fraternizing with the enemy." "The enemy?" "Who was it wanting his autograph?" "Besides, the whole point of the tournament is international magical cooperation to make friends." "I think he's got a bit more than friendship on his mind." "Are you going to ask me to dance or not?" "No." "He's using you." "How dare you?" "!" "Besides, I can take care of myself." "l doubt it." "He's way too old." "What?" "!" "What?" "That's what you think?" "Yeah, that's what I think." "You know the solution then, don't you?" "Go on." "Next time there's a ball pluck up the courage and ask me before somebody else does!" "And not as a last resort." "Well, that's-- l mean, that's just completely off the point." "Harry." "Where have you been?" "Never mind!" "Off to bed, both of you." "[music playing IN BALLROOM]" "They get scary when they get older." "Ron, you spoiled everything!" "What's this about?" "[SOBS]" "singer:" "No, don't let" "This magic die" "The answer's there" "[BELL tolling] [BIRDS CAWlNG]" "[GRUNTlNG]" "VOLDEMORT:" "Let me see it again." "Yes, the time is close now." "Harry, at last!" "Step aside, Wormtail, so I can give our guest a proper greeting." "[panting]" "[FLOORBOARDS creaking]" "You all right, Harry?" "I just got in." "Me." "[HUMS]" "HERMlONE:" "Harry, you told me you'd figured the egg out weeks ago." "The task is two days from now." "Really?" "I had no idea." "I suppose Viktor's already figured it out." "Wouldn't know." "We don't actually talk about the tournament." "Actually, we don't really talk at all." "Viktor's more of a physical being." "[LAUGHS]" "I just mean he's not particularly loquacious." "Mm-hm." "Mostly, he watches me study." "It's a bit annoying, actually." "You are trying to figure this egg out, aren't you?" "What's that supposed to mean?" "It just means these tasks are designed to test you in the most brutal way." "They're almost cruel." "And I'm scared for you." "You got by the dragons mostly on nerve." "I'm not sure it's going to be enough this time." "cedric:" "Hey, Potter!" "Potter!" "HARRY:" "Cedric." "How--?" "How are you?" "Spectacular." "I realize I never really thanked you properly for tipping me off about those dragons." "Forget it." "I'm sure you would've done the same for me." "Exactly." "You know the Prefects' bathroom on the fifth floor?" "It's not a bad place for a bath." "Just take your egg and mull things over in the hot water." "I must be out of my mind." "[SCREECHING]" "I'm definitely out of my mind." "[girl giggling]" "I'd try putting it in the water if I were you." "Myrtle!" "Hello, Harry." "Long time no see." "Oh." "[giggling]" "I was circling a blocked drain the other day and could swear I saw a bit of Polyjuice Potion." "Not being a bad boy again, are you, Harry?" "Polyjuice Potion?" "Kicked the habit." "Myrtle, did you say, "Try putting it in the water"?" "[SQUEALS]" "[coughing]" "That's what he did." "The other boy the handsome one Cedric." "Well, go on." "Open it." "WOMAN [singing]:" "Come seek us Where our voices sound" "We cannot sing Above the ground" "An hour long you'll have tO look" "To recover what we took" "[coughing]" "[mimics COUGHING]" "Myrtle there aren't merpeople in the Black Lake, are there?" "Oh, very good." "It took Cedric ages to riddle it out." "Almost all the bubbles were gone." "[GROWLS]" "[giggles]" "[SQUEALING]" "Oh, Harry." "Harry, tell me again." "[RON snoring]" ""Come seek us where our voices sound."" "The Black Lake, that's obvious." ""An hour long you'll have to look."" "Again, obvious." "Though, admittedly, potentially problematic." ""Potentially problematic"?" "When's the last time you held your breath underwater for an hour, Hermione?" "Look, Harry, we can do this." "The three of us can figure it out." "MOODY:" "Hate to break up the skull session." "Professor McGonagall wants you in her office." "Not you, Potter, just Weasley and Granger." "But, sir, the second task is only hours away, and" "Exactly." "Presumably Potter is well prepared by now and could do with a good night's sleep." "Go." "Now!" "Longbottom!" "Why don't you help Potter put his books back." "You know, if you're interested in plants you'd be better off with Goshawk's Guide tO Herbology." "Do you know there's a wizard in Nepal who's growing gravity-resistant trees?" "Neville, no offense, but I really don't care about plants." "Now, if there's a Tibetan turnip that will allow me to breathe underwater for an hour then great." "But otherwise" "I don't know about a turnip." "But you could always use gillyweed." "Any bets?" "Any bets?" "Come on, place your bets!" "Step up, mates!" "Don't be shy." "Three lads." "One lady." "Four go down." "But do four come up?" "Don't be so mean." "Any bets?" "Fleur's 1 0-1 ." "HARRY:" "You're sure about this, Neville?" "Absolutely." "HARRY:" "For an hour?" "Most likely." "Most likely?" "Well, there is some debate among herbologists as to the effects of fresh water versus salt water" "You're telling me this now?" "You must be joking!" "I just wanted to help." "Well, that makes you a right sight better than Ron and Hermione." "Where are they anyway?" "You seem a little tense, Harry." "Do I?" "DUMBLEDORE:" "Welcome to the second task." "last night, something was Stolen from each of our champions." "A treasure of sorts." "These four treasures, one for each champion now lie on the bottom of the Black Lake." "In Order to win each champion need only find their treasure and return to the surface." "Simple enough, except for this:" "Put that in your mouth." "They will have but one hour to do so, and One hour only." "After that, they'll be On their own." "NO magic will save them." "you may begin at the sound of the cannon." "[CROWD CHEERING]" "[GRUNTlNG]" "What's the matter with him?" "l don't know, I can't see him." "Oh, my God." "I've killed Harry Potter." "SEAMUS:" "Yeah!" "What?" "[MERPEOPLE singing]" "[WHOOSHlNG noise]" "[GARBLED SQUEALING]" "Oh!" "[distorted wall]" "DUMBLEDORE:" "The Beauxbatons champion, Miss DelacoUr has unfortunately been forced to retire so she will take no further part in this task." "[MERPEOPLE singing]" "[MUFFLED walls echoing]" "[SCREECHING]" "[SCREECHES]" "But she's my friend too!" "[HlSSES]" "Only one!" "[SHRIEKS]" "[ROARING]" "[GASPS]" "[CROWD CHEERING]" "Let's get down below." "[gasping]" "[CHANTING] KrUm!" "KrUm!" "KrUm!" "[coughing]" "[GRUNTlNG]" "[SHRIEKlNG]" "[CHIMES]" "[gasping AND COUGHING]" "Yes!" "Whoo!" "[SPEAKS IN FRENCH]" "AScendio!" "Harry!" "He's all right." "He's all right." "Barty!" "SEAMUS:" "Go get him another towel." "l want all the judges over here now!" "You saved her, even though she wasn't yours to save." "My little sister." "Thank you." "And you!" "You helped." "Well, yeah, a bit." "[SPEAKS IN FRENCH]" "Merci." "Harry!" "Hermione!" "Ow." "Are you all right?" "You must be freezing." "Personally, I think you behaved admirably." "I finished last, Hermione." "Ah!" "Next to last." "Fleur never got past the Grindylows." "KARKAROFF:" "Krum!" "Krum!" "Krum!" "Come on!" "Come on!" "Attention!" "Attention!" "The winner is Mr. Diggory who showed innate command of the Bubble-Head Charm." "However, seeing as Mr. Potter would have finished first had it not been for his determination to rescue not only Mr. Weasley but the others as well, we've agreed to award him second place..." "Yes!" "Second place!" "...for outstanding moral fiber!" "Yes!" "Oh!" "Right on." "All that moral fiber, eh?" "lt's great." "Moral fiber?" "Blimey." "Even when you go wrong, it turns out right." "Yeah, well done, Moral Fiber." "Congratulations, Potter." "A fine achievement." "Thank you." "Well done, boy." "RON:" "See you at Hagrid's, Harry." "CROUCH:" "I'm sorry we haven't spoken." "After all, your story is one I've heard so many times." "Quite remarkable, really." "Tragic, of course to lose one's family." "Never whole again, are we?" "Still, life goes on and here we stand." "I'm sure your parents would be very proud of you today, Potter." "Bartemius!" "Not trying to lure Potter into one of the Ministry's summer internships, are we?" "The last boy who went into the Department of Mysteries never came out!" "And they say I'm mad." "Now, I remember-- I remember when I first met you all." "Biggest bunch of misfits I ever set eyes on." "Suppose you remind me of meself a little." "And here we all are, four years later." "We're still a bunch of misfits." "Well, maybe, but we've all got each other." "And Harry, of course." "Soon to be the youngest Triwizard champion there's ever been!" "Hooray!" "ALL [singing]:" "HOgwarts, hogwarts" "HOggy Warty HOgwarts" "Teach Us something, please" "[GRUNTlNG]" "HARRY:" "Mr. Crouch?" "DUMBLEDORE:" "A man has died here, Fudge." "And he won't be the last." "You must take action." "FUDGE:" "I will not." "In times like these, the wizard world looks to its leaders for strength, Dumbledore!" "DUMBLEDORE:" "Then for once show them some!" "The Triwizard Tournament will not be canceled. I will not be seen as a coward!" "DUMBLEDORE:" "A true leader does what is right, no matter what others think." "What did you say to me?" "MOODY:" "Excuse me, gentlemen." "It may interest you to know this conversation is no longer private." "Oh, Harry!" "Harry, how good to see you again." "I can come back later, professor." "Not necessary, Harry." "The minister and I are done." "I'll be back in a moment." "Minister, after you." "There you are." "Your hat." "Oh, Harry, do feel free to indulge in a little Licorice Snap in my absence." "But I have to warn you, they're a wee bit sharp." "Aah!" "[licorice SNAPS SQUEALlNG]" "[RUMBLING]" "[YELLING]" "[GRUNTlNG AND panting]" "Professor?" "Professor." "Yeah." "Igor Karkaroff, you have been brought from Azkaban at your own request to present evidence to this council." "Should your testimony prove consequential council may be prepared to order your immediate release." "Until such time, you remain in the eyes of the Ministry a convicted Death Eater." "Do you accept these terms?" "l do, sir." "And what do you wish to present?" "I have names, sir." "There was Rosier, Evan Rosier." "Rosier is dead." "He took a piece of me with him..." "...though, didn't he?" "KARKAROFF:" "I didn't know." "CROUCH:" "If that is all the witness has-- KARKAROFF:" "No, no, no." "There was Rookwood!" "He was a spy." "Augustus Rookwood?" "Of the Department of Mysteries?" "KARKAROFF:" "Yeah, the same." "He passed information to You-Know-Who from inside the Ministry itself." "Very well." "Council will deliberate." "In the meantime, you will return to Azkaban." "No!" "Wait, please!" "Please, I have more!" "What about Snape?" "Severus Snape?" "As the council is aware, I've given evidence on this matter." "Severus Snape was indeed a Death Eater and, prior to Lord Voldemort's downfall..." "...turned spy for us at great personal risk." "KARKAROFF:" "It's a lie!" "Today he's no more a Death Eater than I." "Snape remains faithful to the Dark Lord!" "Silence!" "Unless the witness possesses any genuine name of consequence this session is now concluded." "Oh, no, no, no." "I've heard about one more." "CROUCH:" "What's that?" "The name." "Yes?" "l know for a fact this person took part in the capture and, by means of the Cruciatus Curse torture of the Auror Frank Longbottom and his wife!" "CROUCH:" "The name." "Give me the wretched name!" "KARKAROFF:" "Barty Crouch..." "[GASPS] ...Junior." "[GRUNTS]" "MAN:" "Hold him down!" "Get your filthy hands off me, you pathetic little men!" "Hello, Father." "You are no son of mine." "[YELLS]" "[panting]" "Curiosity is not a sin, Harry." "But you should exercise caution." "It's a Pensieve." "Very useful if, like me, you find your mind a wee bit stretched." "It allows me to see once more things I've already seen." "You see, Harry, I have searched and searched for something some small detail something I might have overlooked something that would explain why these terrible things have happened." "Every time I get close to an answer, it slips away." "It's maddening." "Sir?" "Mr. Crouch's son." "What exactly happened to him?" "He was sent to Azkaban." "Destroyed Barty to do it." "But he had no choice." "The evidence was overwhelming." "Why do you ask?" "lt's just that I...." "I had a dream about him." "It was in the summer, before school." "In the dream, I was in a house." "And Voldemort was there, only he wasn't quite human." "And Wormtail was there too." "And Mr. Crouch'S son." "DUMBLEDORE:" "Have there been others like this dream?" "Yes." "Always the same one." "Sir, these dreams what I see, you don't think it's actually happening, do you?" "I think it's unwise for you to linger over these dreams, Harry." "I think it's best if you simply cast them away." "KARKAROFF:" "It's a sign, Severus." "[DOOR opening]" "You know what it means as well as I." "Potter!" "What's your hurry?" "Congratulations, your performance in the Black Lake was inspiring." "Gillyweed, am I correct?" "Yes, sir." "Ingenious." "A rather rare herb, gillyweed." "Not something found in your everyday garden." "Nor is this." "Know what it is?" "Bubble juice, sir?" "Veritaserum." "Three drops of this and You-Know-Who himself would spill his darkest secrets." "The use of it on a student is, regrettably, forbidden." "However should you ever steal from my personal stores again my hand might just slip over your morning pumpkin juice." "l haven't stolen anything." "Don't lie to me." "Gillyweed may be innocuous, but boomslang skin, lacewing flies?" "You and your little friends are brewing Polyjuice Potion, and believe me I'm going to find out why!" "[cheering]" "[marching BAND PLAYING]" "[CHANTING in FRENCH]" "Yeah!" "Yeah!" "SOnOruS!" "[music STOPS]" "Earlier today, Professor Moody placed the Triwizard Cup deep within the maze." "Only he knows its exact position." "Now, as Mr. Diggory..." "[cheering] ...and Mr. Potter..." "[cheering] ...are tied for first position they will be the first to enter the maze, followed by Mr. Krum..." "[cheering]" "...and Miss Delacour." "Come on!" "Krum!" "Krum!" "Krum!" "DUMBLEDORE:" "The first person to touch the cup will be the winner!" "I've instructed the staff to patrol the perimeter." "Should, at any point, a contestant wish to withdraw from the task he or she need only send up red sparks with their wands." "Contestants!" "Gather around." "Quickly!" "In the maze, you'll find no dragons or creatures of the deep." "Instead, you'll face something even more challenging." "You see, people change in the maze." "Oh, find the cup if you can." "But be very wary, you could just lose yourselves along the way." "Champions, prepare yourselves!" "Good luck." "My boy." "See you later, Dad." "On the count of three." "One" "[marching BAND PLAYING]" "[crashing]" "[panting]" "[rustling]" "[panting]" "[hissing]" "[SCREAMS]" "[CREAKING]" "Fleur?" "Fleur." "PericUlUm!" "[wind howling]" "[VOICES WHISPERING]" "[KRUM SHOUTS lNDlSTlNCTLY]" "cedric:" "Get down!" "Get down!" "Expelliarmus!" "[GRUNTS]" "No, don't!" "Stop!" "He's bewitched, Cedric!" "Get off me!" "He's bewitched!" "[shirt rips] [GRUNTS]" "HARRY:" "Yes." "[GRUNTlNG]" "[YELLS]" "Harry!" "RedUctO!" "[panting]" "[coughing]" "Th-- Thanks." "No problem." "You know, for a moment there, I thought you were gonna let it get me." "For a moment, so did I." "Some game, huh?" "Some game." "[BRANCHES POPPING AND cracking]" "[wind howling]" "Go!" "Go on, take it." "You saved me, take it!" "Together." "One, two..." "Two..." "...three!" "...three!" "[GRUNTlNG]" "You okay?" "Yeah." "You?" "Where are we?" "[CROW CAWS]" "I've been here before." "It's a Portkey." "Harry, the cup is a Portkey." "l've been here before, in a dream." "Cedric!" "We have to get back to the cup." "Now!" "What are you talking about?" "[DOOR CREAKlNG OPEN]" "[HARRY YELLS]" "[GRUNTlNG]" "Harry!" "What is it?" "Get back to the cup!" "Who are you?" "What do you want?" "VOLDEMORT:" "Kill the spare." "Avada Kedavra!" "No!" "Cedric!" "[GRUNTlNG]" "Do it!" "Now!" "[GRUNTS]" "Bone of the father unwillingly given." "Flesh of the servant willingly sacrificed." "[WORMTAlL YELLS]" "And blood of the enemy..." "[GRUNTlNG]" "...forcibly taken." "Oh!" "Aah!" "Aah!" "[GRUNTlNG]" "The Dark Lord shall rise..." "...again." "Aah!" "[HARRY yelling]" "[wind howling]" "[HARRY GRUNTING]" "[breathing DEEPLY]" "[CHUCKLES]" "My wand, Wormtail." "Hold out your arm." "Master." "Thank you, master." "The other arm, Wormtail." "[THUNDER rumbling]" "[howling AND moaning]" "Welcome, my friends." "Thirteen years it's been, and yet here you stand before me as though it were only yesterday." "I confess myself disappointed." "Not one of you tried to find me." "Crabbe!" "Macnair!" "Goyle!" "Not even you Lucius." "My Lord, had I detected any sign, a whisper of your whereabouts" "There were signs, my slippery friend." "And more than whispers." "I assure you, my Lord, I have never renounced the old ways." "The face I have been obliged to present each day since your absence that is my true mask." "I returned." "[GASPS]" "Out of fear, not loyalty." "Still, you have proved yourself useful these past few months, Wormtail." "Thank you, master." "Thank you." "VOLDEMORT:" "Oh." "Tsk, tsk, tsk." "Such a handsome boy." "HARRY:" "Don't touch him!" "VOLDEMORT:" "Harry." "I'd almost forgotten you were here." "Standing on the bones of my father." "Yeah." "I'd introduce you but word has it you're almost as famous as me these days." "The boy who lived." "How lies have fed your legend, Harry." "Shall I reveal what really happened that night 1 3 years ago?" "Shall I divulge how I truly lost my powers?" "Yes, shall I?" "It was love." "You see, when dear, sweet Lily Potter gave her life for her only son she provided the ultimate protection." "I could not touch him." "It was old magic." "Something I should have foreseen." "But no matter, no matter." "Things have changed." "I can touch you now." "[screaming]" "[moaning]" "Yeah." "[YELLS]" "Astonishing what a few drops of your blood will do, eh, Harry?" "Pick up your wand, Potter." "I said, pick it up!" "Get up!" "Get up!" "You've been taught how to duel, I presume, yes?" "First, we bow to each other." "Come on, now, Harry." "The niceties must be observed." "Dumbledore wouldn't want you to forget your manners, would he?" "I said, bow." "[GRUNTS]" "That's better." "And now...." "No." "Crucio!" "Attaboy, Harry." "Your parents would be proud." "Especially your filthy Muggle mother." "Expelliar" "I'm going to kill you, Harry Potter." "I'm going to destroy you." "After tonight, no one will ever again question my powers." "After tonight, if they speak of you they'll speak only of how you begged for death." "And I, being a merciful Lord obliged." "Get up!" "[GRUNTlNG]" "Don't you turn your back on me, Harry Potter!" "I want you to look at me when I kill you!" "I want to see the light leave your eyes!" "[GRUNTS]" "[panting]" "Have it your way." "Expelliarmus!" "Avada Kedavra!" "Do nothing!" "He's mine to finish!" "[GRUNTlNG]" "He's mine!" "[GRUNTS]" "[GROANS]" "Harry, when the connection is broken, you must get to the Portkey." "We can linger for a moment to give you some time but only a moment." "Do you understand?" "cedric:" "Harry, take my body back, will you?" "Take my body back to my father." "Let go." "Sweetheart, you're ready." "Let go!" "Let go!" "Accio!" "No!" "[CROWD CHEERING]" "[marching BAND PLAYING] [sobbing]" "AMOS:" "He did it!" "[SCREAMS]" "DUMBLEDORE:" "Harry!" "Harry!" "No!" "No!" "No, don't!" "For God's sake, Dumbledore, what's happened?" "He's back." "He's back." "Voldemort's back." "Cedric, he asked me to bring his body back." "I couldn't leave him, not there." "It's all right, Harry. lt's all right." "He's home." "You both are." "Keep everybody in their seats." "A boy has just been killed." "The body must be moved, Dumbledore." "There are too many people." "Let me through." "Let me through!" "That's my son!" "That's my boy!" "It's my boy!" "[SOBS]" "Come on." "Get up." "Easy, easy!" "No." "This is not where you want to be right now." "Come on." "No!" "It's all right, I got you." "I got you." "Come on." "Easy, now." "AMOS:" "No!" "No!" "Are you all right, Potter?" "Does it hurt?" "That?" "Not so much now." "Perhaps I'd better take a look at it." "HARRY:" "The cup was a Portkey." "Someone had bewitched it." "What was it like?" "What was he like?" "Who?" "The Dark Lord." "HARRY:" "Aah!" "What was it like to stand in his presence?" "I don't know." "[GRUNTlNG]" "It was like I'd fallen into one of my dreams into one of my nightmares." "[GASPS]" "Were there others?" "In the graveyard, were there others?" "Um...." "I...." "I don't think I said anything about a graveyard, professor." "[IMITATING HAGRlD] "Marvelous creatures, dragons, aren't they?"" "Did you think that oaf would've led you into the woods if I hadn't suggested it?" "[BOTTLES CLANKlNG]" "Do you think Cedric Diggory would've told you to open the egg underwater if I hadn't told him first myself?" "Did you think Neville Longbottom, the witless wonder could've provided you with gillyweed if I hadn't given him the book that led him straight to it?" "Huh?" "Eh?" "It was you from the beginning." "You put my name in the Goblet of Fire." "You bewitched Krum, but you" "[mocking] "But" " But--"" "You won because I made it so, Potter." "You ended up in that graveyard tonight because it was meant to be so." "And now the deed is done." "[HARRY GRUNTS]" "The blood that runs through these veins runs within the Dark Lord." "[SIGHS AND SPITS]" "Imagine how he will reward me when he learns that I have once and for all silenced the great Harry Potter." "DUMBLEDORE:" "Expelliarmus!" "Severus." "[gasping]" "DUMBLEDORE:" "That's it, take it." "Do you know who I am?" "Albus Dumbledore." "Are you Alastor Moody?" "Are you?" "No." "Is he in this room?" "is he in this room?" "Harry, away from there!" "DUMBLEDORE:" "You all right, Alastor?" "l'm sorry, Albus." "That's Moody." "But then who's--?" "[sniffs]" "Polyjuice Potion." "Now we know who's been stealing from your stores, Severus." "We'll get you up in a minute." "[GROANS]" "[GURGLlNG]" "[GRUNTlNG AND gagging]" "[SCREAMS]" "Aah!" "Harry!" "Barty Crouch Junior." "I'll show you mine if you show me yours." "Your arm, Harry." "CROUCH JUNIOR:" "You know what this means, don't you?" "He's back." "Lord Voldemort has returned." "I'm sorry, sir. I couldn't help it." "Send an owl to Azkaban. I think they'll find they're missing a prisoner." "l'll be welcomed back like a hero." "DUMBLEDORE:" "Perhaps." "Personally, I've never had much time for heroes." "[OWL hooting]" "Today, we acknowledge a really terrible loss." "Cedric Diggory was, as you all know exceptionally hard-working infinitely fair-minded and, most importantly a fierce, fierce friend." "Now, I think, therefore, you have the right to know exactly how he died." "You see Cedric Diggory was murdered by Lord Voldemort!" "The Ministry of Magic does not wish me to tell you this." "But not to do so, I think, would be an insult to his memory." "Now, the pain we all feel at this dreadful loss reminds me and reminds us that while we may come from different places and speak in different tongues our hearts beat as one." "In light of recent events the bonds of friendship we've made this year will be more important than ever." "Remember that, and Cedric Diggory will not have died in vain." "You remember that and we'll celebrate a boy who was kind and honest and brave and true, right to the very end." "I never liked these curtains." "Set them on fire in my fourth year." "By accident, of course." "I put you in terrible danger this year, Harry." "I'm sorry." "Professor when I was in the graveyard, there was a moment when Voldemort's wand and mine sort of connected." "Priori Incantatem." "You saw your parents that night, didn't you?" "They reappeared." "No spell can reawaken the dead, Harry." "I trust you know that." "Dark and difficult times lie ahead." "Soon we must all face the choice between what is right and what is easy." "But remember this:" "You have friends here." "You're not alone." "[chattering]" "Hermione." "This is for you." "Write to me." "Promise." "Bye." "Au revoir, Ron." "[CANNON fires]" "[cheering]" "Do you think we'll ever just have a quiet year at Hogwarts?" "No." "No." "No, I didn't think so." "Oh, well." "What's life without a few dragons?" "Everything's going to change now, isn't it?" "Yes." "Promise you'll write this summer." "Both of you." "I won't." "You know I won't." "Harry will, won't you?" "Yeah." "Every week." "[RON AND HARRY CHUCKLE]" "[HORSES WHlNNYlNG]"

"Encoded by Judas Enjoy!" "GRUMPY:" "Three of a kind, let's do this." "CHUCKLES:" "That's it?" "Three guys?" "GRUMPY:" "Two guys on the roof." "Every guy gets a share." "Five shares is plenty." "CHUCKLES:" "Six shares." "Don't forget the guy who planned the job." "GRUMPY:" "He thinks he can sit it out and still take a slice." "l know why they call him the Joker." "HAPPY:" "Why do they call him the Joker?" "DOPEY:" "I heard he wears makeup." "HAPPY:" "Makeup?" "DOPEY:" "Yeah, to scare people." "You know, war paint." "GRUMPY:" "All right, everybody, hands up, heads down!" "I said, hands up, heads down!" "Let's go, pal, I'm making a withdrawal here." "l said, hands up!" "No!" "DOPEY:" "Here comes the silent alarm." "And there it goes." "GRUMPY:" "Heads down!" "All right, tootsie, you're taking a dive with me." "Down!" "I said, stay down there!" "WOMAN:" "Don't hurt me!" "DOPEY:" "Funny, it didn't dial 91 1 ." "It was trying to reach a private number." "HAPPY:" "Is it a problem?" "DOPEY:" "No, I'm done here." "GRUMPY:" "Sit down!" "Down!" "Down!" "I said, stay down there!" "GRUMPY:" "Obviously we don't want you doing anything with your hands other than holding on for dear life." "CHUCKLES:" "On the ground!" "Stay on the ground!" "Nobody make a move!" "Nobody!" "Stay down!" "Yeah!" "You have any idea who you're stealing from?" "You and your friends are dead." "GRUMPY:" "He's out, right?" "GRUMPY:" "What--?" "Where did you learn to count?" "HAPPY:" "They wired this thing up with like 5000 volts." "What kind of bank does that?" "GRUMPY:" "A Mob bank." "I guess the Joker's as crazy as they say." "Where's the alarm guy?" "HAPPY:" "Boss told me when the guy was done, I should take him out." "One less share, right?" "GRUMPY:" "Funny, he told me something similar." "HAPPY:" "He what?" "No!" "No!" "GRUMPY:" "That's a lot of money." "If this Joker guy was so smart, he'd have had us bring a bigger car." "I'm betting the Joker told you to kill me soon as we loaded the cash." "BOZO:" "No, no, no, I kill the bus driver." "GRUMPY:" "Bus driver?" "What bus driver?" "DRIVER:" "School's out." "Time to go." "That guy's not getting up, is he?" "That's a lot of money." "What happened to the rest of the guys?" "MANAGER:" "You think you're smart, huh?" "The guy that hired youse he'll just do the same to you." "Oh, criminals in this town used to believe in things." "Honor respect." "Look at you." "What do you believe in, huh?" "What do you believe in?" "!" "I believe whatever doesn't kill you simply makes you stranger." "MAN 1:" "Mr. Mayor, you were elected in a campaign to clean up the city." "When are you gonna start?" "MAN 2:" "I already have." "MAN 1:" "Like this Batman." "We're hearing he's doing good, criminals are running scared." "No, man. I don't like it tonight." "What are you, superstitious?" "You got more chance of winning the Powerball than running into him." "That's not true." "Our men in the Major Crimes Unit are close to an arrest." "Hey, Wuertz, mayor says you're closing in on the Batman." "The investigation is ongoing." "MAYOR:" "The process of cleaning up the streets is a long one." "I pledged in my campaign, uh, to have...." "Ever intending to see your wife again, lieutenant?" "I thought you had to go look after your mother, detective." "Checked her back into the hospital." "I'm sorry." "So he hasn't shown up?" "He often doesn't." "l like reminding everybody he's out there." "Why wouldn't he come?" "Hopefully because he's busy." "That's why we bring dogs." "My little princes." "MAN:" "Please." "Please, they're crawling in my mouth." "Please, I beg you, get them off." "CHECHEN:" "Look what your drugs do to my customers." "SCARECROW:" "Buyer beware." "I told you my compound would take you places." "I never said they'd be places you wanted to go." "My business, repeat customers." "SCARECROW:" "You don't like what I have to offer, you can buy from someone else." "Assuming Batman left anyone to buy from." "My dogs are hungry." "Pity there's only one of you." "CHECHEN:" "What--?" "SCARECROW:" "That's not him." "Loose the dogs!" "SCARECROW:" "That's more like it." "Don't let me find you out here again." "We're trying to help you." "BATMAN:" "I don't need help." "Not my diagnosis." "What gives you the right?" "What's the difference between you and me?" "I'm not wearing hockey pads." "officer:" "Everybody back now!" "He can't resist showing us his face." "GORDON:" "What's he hiding under that makeup?" "RAMIREZ:" "Uh, can we get a minute, people, please?" "Him again." "Who are the others?" "Another bunch of smalltimers." "BATMAN:" "Some of the marked bills I gave you." "My detectives have been making drug buys with them." "This bank was another drop for the Mob." "That makes five." "We found the bulk of their dirty cash." "Time to move in." "We'd have to hit all banks simultaneously." "SWAT teams, backup." "What about this Joker guy?" "One man or the entire Mob?" "He can wait." "When the new DA hears about this, he'll want in." "Do you trust him?" "Be hard to keep him out." "I hear he's as stubborn as you are." "ALFRED:" "Be nice when Wayne Manor's rebuilt." "You can swap not sleeping in a penthouse for not sleeping in a mansion." "Whenever you stitch yourself up, you do make a bloody mess." "Yeah. lt makes me learn from my mistakes." "You ought to be pretty knowledgeable by now, then." "My armor." "I'm carrying too much weight." "I need to be" " I need to be faster." "I'm sure Mr. Fox can oblige." "Did you get mauled by a tiger?" "lt was a dog." "Huh?" "lt was a big dog." "There were more copycats last night, Alfred, with guns." "Why not hire them, take the weekend off?" "That wasn't exactly what I had in mind..." "...when I said I wanted to inspire people." "l know." "But things have improved." "Look at the new district attorney." "BRUCE:" "I am, closely." "Need to know if he can be trusted." "Are you interested in his character or his social circle?" "Who Rachel spends her time with is her business." "I trust you don't have me followed on my day off." "If you ever took one, I might." "Know your limits, Master Wayne." "Batman has no limits." "Well, you do, sir." "Well, can't afford to know them." "And what's gonna happen on the day that you find out?" "We all know how much you like to say "I told you so."" "On that day, Master Wayne, even I won't want to." "Probably." "MAN:" "Sorry I'm late, folks." "Where were you?" "Worried you'd have to step up?" "Harvey, I know these briefs backwards." "Well, then fair's fair." "Heads, I'll take it." "Tails, he's all yours." "Yeah?" "You wanna flip a coin to see who leads?" "My father's lucky coin." "As I recall, it got me my first date with you." "I wouldn't leave something like that up to chance." "I don't." "I make my own luck." "BAlLIFF:" "All rise." "The Honorable Judge Freel presiding." "I thought the DA just played golf with the mayor." "Teeoff's 1 :30." "More than enough time to put you away for life, Sally." "With Carmine Falcone in Arkham someone must have stepped up to run the so-called family." "Is that man in this courtroom today?" "Could you identify him for us, please?" "You win, counselor." "It was me." "I have a sworn statement from you that this man Salvatore Maroni, is the new head of the Falcone crime family." "Maroni?" "He's a fall guy." "I'm the brains of the organization." "JUDGE:" "Order." "Permission to treat the witness as hostile?" "Granted." "Hostile?" "I'll show you hostile!" "Carbon fiber, .28 caliber, made in China." "If you wanna kill a public servant, Mr. Maroni, I recommend you buy American." "JUDGE:" "Get him out of here." "But, Your Honor, I'm not done." "We'll never be able to link the gun to Maroni, so we can't charge him." "But they're trying to kill you, means we're getting to them." "I'm glad you're so pleased, Rachel." "I'm fine, by the way." "Come on, Harvey." "You're Gotham's DA." "You're not getting shot at, you're not doing your job right." "But, you know if you said you were rattled, we could take the rest of the day off." "Can't." "I dragged the head of the Major Crimes Unit down here." "Oh, Jim Gordon?" "He's a friend, actually." "Try to be nice." "I hear you got a hell of a right cross." "It's a shame Sal's going to walk." "Yeah, well, good thing about the Mob is they keep giving you second chances." "Lightly irradiated bills." "Fancy stuff for a city cop." "Have help?" "We liaise with various agencies" "Save it, Gordon." "I wanna meet him." "Official policy is to arrest the vigilante known as Batman on sight." "Mm-hm." "What about that floodlight on the top of MCU?" "If you got problems with malfunctioning equipment I suggest you take them up with Maintenance, counselor." "I've put every money launderer in Gotham behind bars but the Mob is still getting its money out." "I think you and your friend have found the last game in town." "You're trying to hit them where it hurts, their wallets." "It's bold." "You gonna count me in?" "In this town, the fewer people know something, the safer the operation." "I don't like that you got your own special unit and it's full of cops I investigated at Internal Affairs." "If I didn't work with cops you'd investigated while at la I'd be working alone." "I don't get political points for being an idealist. I do the best I can with what I have." "You want me to back warrants for search and seizure on five banks without telling me what we're after." "I can give you the names of the banks." "Well, that's a start." "I'll get you your warrants, but I want your trust." "Oh, you don't have to sell me, Dent." "We all know you're Gotham's white knight." "Yeah, well, I heard they have a different name for me down at MCU." "I wouldn't know about that." "MAN:" "ln China, Lau Security lnvestments stands for dynamic new growth." "A joint Chinese venture with Wayne Enterprises will be a powerhouse." "FOX:" "Well, Mr. Lau I speak for the rest of the board and Mr. Wayne, in expressing our own excitement." "Sir, I know Mr. Wayne is curious about how his trust fund gets replenished but, frankly, this is embarrassing." "You worry about the diligence, Mr. Reese." "I'll worry about Bruce Wayne." "It's done." "The numbers are solid." "Do them again." "Wouldn't want the trust fund to run out, now, would we?" "FOX:" "Another long night?" "This joint venture was your idea, and the consultants love it." "But I'm not convinced." "Lau's company has grown by 8 percent annually like clockwork." "His revenue stream must be off the books maybe even illegal." "Okay." "Cancel the deal." "You already knew." "Just needed a closer look at their books." "Anything else you can trouble me for?" "I need a new suit." "Yeah." "Three buttons is a little '90s, Mr. Wayne." "I'm not talking fashion, Mr. Fox, so much as function." "You wanna be able to turn your head." "Sure make backing out of the driveway easier." "I'll see what I can do." "Took three weeks to get a reservation here." "I had to tell them I work for the government." "Really?" "Health inspector's not afraid to pull strings." "Rachel." "Fancy that." "Yeah, Bruce." "Fancy that." "Rachel, Natascha." "Natascha, Rachel." "Natascha." "Are you the prima--?" "Prima ballerina for the Moscow Ballet." "Wow." "Harvey's taking me next week." "Really?" "So you're into ballet?" "Bruce." "This is Harvey Dent." "The famous Bruce Wayne." "Rachel's told me everything about you." "I certainly hope not." "Let's put a couple tables together." "l'm not sure that they'll let us." "Oh, they should. I own the place." "How could you want to raise children in a city like this?" "Well, I was raised here. I turned out okay." "ls Wayne Manor in the city limits?" "Is--?" "Heh-heh." "The Palisades?" "Sure." "You know, as our new DA, you might wanna figure out where your jurisdiction ends." "I'm talking about the kind of city that idolizes a masked vigilante." "Gotham City is proud of an ordinary citizen standing up for what's right." "Gotham needs heroes like you, elected officials..." "...not a man who thinks he's above the law." "Who appointed the Batman?" "We did." "All of us who stood by and let scum take control of our city." "NATASCHA:" "But this is a democracy, Harvey." "DENT:" "When their enemies were at the gates the Romans would suspend democracy and appoint one man to protect the city." "It wasn't considered an honor, it was a public service." "Harvey, the last man that they appointed to protect the republic was named Caesar..." "...and he never gave up his power." "Okay, fine." "You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain." "Whoever the Batman is, he doesn't wanna do this for the rest of his life." "How could he?" "Batman is looking for someone to take up his mantle." "NATASCHA:" "Someone like you, Mr. Dent?" "Maybe." "If I'm up to it." "What if Harvey Dent is the Caped Crusader?" "Hm?" "If I were sneaking out every night, someone would've noticed by now." "Well, I'm sold, Dent, and I'm gonna throw you a fundraiser." "That's nice, but I'm not up for reelection for three years." "No, you don't understand." "One fundraiser with my pals you'll never need another cent." "What the hell is this?" "As you're all aware, one of our deposits was stolen." "A relatively small amount, 68 million." "Who's stupid enough to steal from us?" "Two-bit wackjob, wears a cheap purple suit and makeup." "He's not the problem." "He's a nobody." "The problem is our money being tracked by the cops." "Thanks to Mr. Maroni's well-placed sources we know that police have indeed identified our banks using marked bills and are planning to seize your funds today." "And since the enthusiastic new DA has put all my competitors out of business..." "..." "I'm your only option." "MARONl:" "So, what are you proposing?" "LAU:" "Moving all deposits to one secure location, not a bank." "Where, then?" "No one can know but me." "If the police were to gain leverage over one of you everyone's money would be at stake." "What stop them getting to you?" "I go to Hong Kong, far from Dent's jurisdiction and the Chinese will not extradite one of their own." "MARONl:" "How soon can you move the money?" "LAU:" "I already have." "For obvious reasons, I couldn't wait for your permission." "Rest assured, your money is safe." "Oh, hee-hee, aha." "Ha, ooh, hee, ha-ha, ha-ha." "And I thought my jokes were bad." "Give me one reason why I shouldn't have my boy pull your head off." "How about a magic trick?" "I'm gonna make this pencil disappear." "Ta-da!" "It's" "It's gone." "Oh, and by the way, the suit, it wasn't cheap." "You ought to know, you bought it." "CHECHEN:" "Sit." "I want to hear proposition." "JOKER:" "Let's wind the clocks back a year." "These cops and lawyers wouldn't dare cross any of you." "I mean, what happened?" "Did your balls drop off?" "Hm?" "You see, a guy like me...." "A freak." "MOBSTER 1 :" "Damn right." "A guy like me" " Look, listen." "I know why you choose to have your little, ahem group-therapy sessions in broad daylight." "I know why you're afraid to go out at night." "The Batman." "See, Batman has shown Gotham your true colors, unfortunately." "Dent, he's just the beginning." "And as for the television's so-called plan Batman has no jurisdiction." "He'll find him and make him squeal." "I know the squealers when I see them and...." "CHECHEN:" "What do you propose?" "It's simple." "We, uh, kill the Batman." "If it's so simple, why haven't you done it already?" "If you're good at something, never do it for free." "How much you want?" "Uh, half." "GAMBOL:" "You're crazy." "No, I'm not." "No, I'm not." "If we don't deal with this now soon little Gambol here won't be able to get a nickel for his grandma." "Enough from the clown!" "Ah, ta-ta-ta." "Let's not blow..." "MOBSTER 2:" "Shit!" "...this out of proportion." "You think you can steal from us and just walk away?" "Yeah." "GAMBOL:" "I'm putting the word out." "Five hundred grand for this clown dead." "A million alive, so I can teach him some manners first." "All right." "So, listen, why don't you give me a call when you wanna start taking things a little more seriously?" "Here's my card." "Mm-mm." "You're a hard man to reach." "Lau's halfway to Hong Kong." "If you'd have asked, I could have taken his passport." "All that was left in the vaults were marked bills." "They knew we were coming." "As soon as your office got involved" "My office?" "You're sitting down there with scum like Wuertz and Ramirez and you're talking" "Oh, yeah." "I almost had your rookie cold on a racketeering beat." "Don't try and cloud the fact that clearly Maroni's got people in your office, Dent." "We need Lau back but the Chinese won't extradite a national under any circumstances." "If I get him to you, can you get him to talk?" "I'll get him to sing." "We're going after the Mob's life savings." "Things will get ugly." "I knew the risk when I took this job, lieutenant." "How will you get him back, any--?" "He does that." "Our Chinese friends left town before I could tell them the deal was off." "Well, I'm sure that you've always wanted to go to Hong Kong." "What's wrong with a phone call?" "I think Mr. Lau deserves a more personal touch." "FOX:" "Now, for high-altitude jumps, you're going to need oxygen and stabilizers." "Well, I must say, compared to your usual requests jumping out of an airplane is pretty straightforward." "BRUCE:" "What about getting back into the plane?" "l'd recommend a good travel agent." "Without it landing." "Now, that's more like it, Mr. Wayne." "The CIA had a program back in the '60s for getting their people out of hot spots called Sky Hook." "We could look into that." "Yeah." "Okay." "Now...." "Hardened Kevlar plates over titanium-dipped tri-weave fibers for flexibility." "You'll be lighter, faster, more agile." "Perhaps you should read the instructions first?" "Yeah." "Now, there is a tradeoff." "Separation of the plates makes you more vulnerable to knives and gunfire." "We wouldn't wanna make things too easy, now, would we?" "How will it hold up against dogs?" "We talking rottweilers or Chihuahuas?" "Should do fine against cats." "I found one in Arizona." "A very nice man said he could have it up and running in a week, and he takes cash." "What about the flight crew?" "South Korean smugglers." "They run flights into Pyongyang, below radar." "Did you think of an alibi?" "Oh, yes." "I believe this is your plane, sir." "You look tired, Alfred." "You'll be all right without me?" "If you can tell me the Russian for "apply your own bloody suntan lotion."" "Yo, Gambol, somebody here for you." "They say they've just killed the Joker." "BODYGUARD:" "They brought the body." "So, dead, that's 500." "How about alive?" "Hm?" "You wanna know how I got these scars?" "My father was a drinker and a fiend." "And one night, he goes off crazier than usual." "Mommy gets the kitchen knife to defend herself." "He doesn't like that not one bit." "So, me watching he takes the knife to her, laughing while he does it." "He turns to me and he says:" ""Why so serious?"" "He comes at me with the knife." ""Why so serious?"" "He sticks the blade in my mouth." ""Let's put a smile on that face."" "And...." "Why so serious?" "Now our operation is small but there is a lot of potential for aggressive expansion." "So which of you fine gentlemen would like to join our team?" "Oh." "There's only one spot open right now, so we're gonna have tryouts." "Make it fast." "MAN:" "Welcome to Hong Kong, Mr. Fox." "Mr. Lau regrets he is unable to greet you in person today." "FOX:" "I understand." "For security purposes, I'm gonna have to ask you to check in your mobile." "Of course." "I must apologize for leaving Gotham in the middle of our negotiations." "This misunderstanding with the Gotham police force..." "..." "I couldn't let it threaten my company." "Of course." "A businessman of your stature will understand and with you here now, we can continue." "Well, I do appreciate you bringing me out here in such style, Mr. Lau, but I re" "We do not allow cell phones in here." "I'm sorry." "Forgot I had it." "No, I really came to tell you that our business deal has to be put on hold." "You see, we can't afford to be seen to do business with whatever it is you're accused of being." "I'm sure a businessman of your stature will understand." "I think, Mr. Fox, a simple phone call might have sufficed." "Mr. Wayne didn't want you to think he was deliberately wasting your time." "Just accidentally wasting it." "That's very good, Mr. Lau." ""Accidentally." Very good." "Hey, sir." "There's a better view from the peak tram." "How's the view from Isl Holdings?" "Restricted." "Lau is holed up in there good and tight." "What's this?" "l had R D work it up." "Sends out a high-frequency pulse records the response time for mapping an environment." "Sonar." "Just like a...." "Submarine, Mr. Wayne." "Like a submarine." "And the other device?" "lt's in place." "Mr. Wayne?" "Good luck." "RACHEL:" "Look, give us the money and we'll talk about making a deal." "The money is the only reason I'm still alive." "Oh, you mean, when they find out that you've helped us, they're gonna kill you?" "Are you threatening my client?" "No." "I'm just assuming your client's cooperation with this investigation." "As will everyone." "No?" "Okay." "Enjoy your time in County, Mr. Lau." "LAU:" "Wait!" "I won't give you the money but I will give you my clients, all of them." "You were a glorified accountant." "What could you possibly have on all of them that we could charge?" "I'm good with calculation." "I handled all their investments." "One big pot." "Got it." "One minute." "RICO. lf they pooled their money, we can charge them as one criminal conspiracy." "Charge them with what?" "In a RlCO case, if you can charge one of them with a felony" "You can charge all of them with it." "That's great." "Mr. Lau." "What kind of details do you have about this communal fund?" "Ledgers--?" "lmmunity, protection..." "...a chartered plane back to Hong Kong." "After you testify in open court." "I'm just curious." "With all your clients locked up what's gonna happen with all that money?" "Like I said, I'm good with calculation." "He can't go to County." "I'll keep him here in the holding cells." "What is this, Gordon, your fortress?" "Well, you trust them over at County?" "I don't trust them here." "Lau stays." "Well, I don't know about Mr. Lau's travel arrangements, but I'm sure glad he's back." "Put word out." "We hire the clown." "He was right." "We have to fix real problem." "Batman." "l'm not aware of any participation...." "Our boy looks good on the tube." "You sure you wanna embarrass me in front of my friends?" "Oh, don't worry." "They're coming too." "STEPHENS:" "Have a nice trip." "See you next fall." "WOMAN:" "Seven hundred twelve counts of extortion." "Eight hundred and forty-nine counts of racketeering." "Two hundred and forty-six counts of fraud." "Eighty-seven counts of conspiracy murder." "Five hundred and twenty-seven counts of obstruction ofjustice." "How do the defendants plead?" "Order in the court." "MAYOR:" "Five hundred and forty-nine criminals at once." "How did you convince Surrillo to hear this farce?" "She shares my enthusiasm for justice." "After all, she is a judge." "Even if you blow enough smoke to get convictions out of Surrillo you're gonna set a new record at appeals." "It won't matter." "The head guys make bail, sure." "But the midlevel guys, they can't." "They can't afford to be off the streets." "They'll cut deals that include some jail time." "Think of all you could do with 1 8 months of clean streets." "LOEB:" "Mr. Mayor, you can't" "No, get out." "Both of you." "Sit down." "The public likes you." "That's the only reason that this might fly." "But that means it's on you." "They're all gonna come after you now, and not just the Mob." "Politicians, journalists, cops." "Anyone whose wallet's about to get lighter." "Are you up to it?" "You'd better be." "Because they get anything on you and those criminals are back on the streets, followed swiftly by you and me." "Jesus!" "ALFRED:" "I think your fundraiser will be a great success, sir." "BRUCE:" "And why do you think I wanna hold a party for Harvey Dent?" "I assumed it was your usual reason for socializing beyond myself and the scum of Gotham's underbelly:" "To try to impress Miss Dawes." "Very droll, but very wrong." "Actually, it's Dent." "ENGEL:" "Police released video footage found concealed on the body." "Sensitive viewers, be aware." "The image is disturbing." "JOKER:" "Tell them your name." "Brian Douglas." "JOKER:" "And are you the real Batman?" "brian:" "No." "JOKER:" "No?" "No." "No?" "Then why do you dress up like him?" "Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!" "brian:" "Because he's a symbol that we don't have to be afraid of scum like you." "Yeah." "You do, Brian." "You really do." "Huh?" "Yeah." "Oh, shh, shh, shh." "So you think Batman's made Gotham a better place?" "Hm?" "Look at me." "Look at me!" "You see, this is how crazy Batman's made Gotham." "You want order in Gotham Batman must take off his mask and turn himself in." "Oh, and every day he doesn't, people will die." "Starting tonight." "I'm a man of my word." "Harvey Dent, scourge of the underworld scared stiff by the trust-fund brigade." "l'll be back." "Rachel." "A little liquid courage, Mr. Dent?" "Thank you." "Alfred, right?" "That's right, sir." "Rachel talks about you all the time." "You've known her her whole life." "Not yet, sir." "Any psychotic ex-boyfriends I should be aware of?" "Oh, you have no idea." "BRUCE:" "I'm sorry that I'm late. I'm glad to see that you all got started without me." "Now, where is Harvey?" "Where--?" "Harvey Dent, the man of the hour." "Where's Rachel Dawes?" "She is my oldest friend." "Come here." "When Rachel first told me she was dating Harvey Dent, I had one thing to say:" ""The guy from those God-awful campaign commercials?"" ""I believe in Harvey Dent." Yeah, nice slogan, Harvey." "But it caught Rachel's attention." "And then I started to pay attention to Harvey and all that he's been doing as our new DA." "And you know what?" "I believe in Harvey Dent." "I believe that on his watch, Gotham can feel a little safer, a little more optimistic." "Look at this face." "This is the face of Gotham's bright future." "To Harvey Dent." "Let's hear it for him." "MAN:" "Harvey." "Harvey may not know you well enough to understand you're making fun of him..." "...but I do." "No, I meant every word." "You know that day that you once told me about when Gotham would no longer need Batman?" "lt's coming." "Bruce." "You can't ask me to wait for that." "lt's happening now." "Harvey is that hero." "He locked up half of the city's criminals, and he did it without wearing a mask." "Gotham needs a hero with a face." "DENT:" "You can throw a party, Wayne, I'll give you that." "Thanks again." "You mind if I borrow Rachel?" "Lieutenant, that joker card pinned to the body?" "Forensics found three sets of DNA." "Any matches?" "All three." "The DNA belongs to Judge Surrillo, Harvey Dent and Commissioner Loeb." "The Joker's telling us who he's targeting." "Get a unit over to Surrillo's house." "Tell Wuertz to find Dent." "Protective custody." "Where's the commissioner?" "City hall." "Seal the building." "No one in or out till I get there." "Got it." "Gordon." "What are you up to?" "We're secure." "I want a floor-by-floor search of the entire building." "We believe the Joker's made a threat against your life." "These are dangerous people." "You're not giving me a lot of information." "Even we don't know where you're going." "Take the envelope, get in, open it." "It'll tell you where you're headed." "You can't leave me alone with these people." "The whole Mob's after you and you're worried about these guys?" "Compared to this, the Mob doesn't scare me." "Gordon, you're unlikely to discover this for yourself, so take my word, the police commissioner earns a lot of threats." "I found the appropriate response to these situations a long time ago." "Them gunning for you makes you see things clearly." "Yeah, I bet." "Yeah. lt makes you think about things you couldn't stand losing about who you wanna spend your life with." "That's a pretty big commitment." "Not if the Mob has their way." "You get to explain to my wife why I'm late for dinner." "Sir, the joker card had traces of your DNA on it." "Don't do that." "All right." "Let's be serious, then." "Okay." "What's your answer?" "I don't have an answer." "How'd they get my DNA?" "Somebody with access to your office or house must have lifted a tissue or a glass" " Wait!" "Wait!" "Well, I guess no answer is a no." "Harvey." "lt's someone else, isn't it?" "Harvey." "Just tell me it's not Wayne." "The guy's a complete f" "What are you doing?" "GORDON:" "Oh, shit." "GORDON:" "Get a medic!" "They've come for him." "We made it." "Stay hidden." "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen." "We are tonight's entertainment." "I only have one question:" "Where is Harvey Dent?" "You know where Harvey is?" "You know who he is?" "THUG:" "Hands up, pretty boy." "Do you know where I can find Harvey?" "I need to talk to him." "Just something little, huh?" "No." "What's going on out there?" "Wayne!" "Oh, thank God, you've got a panic room." "MAN:" "Hey, wait" "Oh, you gotta be kidding me." "You know, I'll settle for his loved ones." "We're not intimidated by thugs." "You know you remind me of my father." "I hated my father." "RACHEL:" "Okay, stop." "Well, hello, beautiful." "You must be Harvey's squeeze." "Hm?" "And you are beautiful." "You look nervous." "Is it the scars?" "You wanna know how I got them?" "Come here." "Hey." "Look at me." "So I had a wife." "She was beautiful, like you who tells me I worry too much who tells me I ought to smile more who gambles and gets in deep with the sharks." "Hey." "One day they carve her face." "And we have no money for surgeries." "She can't take it." "I just wanna see her smile again." "Hm?" "I just want her to know that I don't care about the scars." "So I stick a razor in my mouth and do this to myself." "And you know what?" "She can't stand the sight of me." "She leaves." "Now I see the funny side." "Now I'm always smiling." "You got a little fight in you. I like that." "BATMAN:" "Then you're gonna love me." "Drop the gun." "Oh, sure." "You just take off your little mask and show us all who you really are." "Hm?" "Let her go." "Very poor choice of words." "Are you all right?" "Let's not do that again." "ls Harvey okay?" "He's safe." "Thank you." "Jim, it's over." "As long as they don't get to Lau, we've cut off their funds." "The prosecution's over." "Nobody's standing up in front of a judge while judges and police commissioners are getting blown away." "What about Dent?" "He's got any sense, Dent's halfway to Mex" "DENT:" "So where do you keep your trash?" "You're due in court. I need you alive long enough to get you on the record." "You can't protect me." "You can't even protect yourselves." "You refuse to cooperate, you're not coming back here, you go to County." "How long do you calculate you'll last in there?" "Targeting me won't get their money." "I knew the Mob wouldn't go down easily..." "...but this is different." "They crossed a line." "You crossed the line first." "You squeezed them, you hammered them to the point of desperation." "And in their desperation, they turned to a man they didn't fully understand." "Criminals aren't complicated, Alfred." "We just need to figure out what he's after." "ALFRED:" "With respect, Master Wayne perhaps this is a man you don't fully understand either." "A long time ago, I was in Burma and my friends and I were working for the local government." "They were trying to buy the loyalty of tribal leaders by bribing them with precious stones but their caravans were being raided in a forest north of Rangoon by a bandit." "So we went looking for the stones." "But in six months, we never met anyone who traded with him." "One day, I saw a child playing with a ruby the size of a tangerine." "The bandit had been throwing them away." "So why steal them?" "Because he thought it was good sport." "Because some men aren't looking for anything logical, like money." "They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with." "Some men just wanna watch the world burn." "WOMAN:" "Your name, sir?" "JOKER:" "Eighth and Orchard." "You'll find Harvey Dent there." "BATMAN:" "Check the names." ""Richard Dent."" ""Patrick Harvey."" "Harvey Dent." "I need 1 0 minutes with the scene before your men contaminate it." "lt's because of you these guys are dead" "Detective!" "Give us a minute, guys." "That's brick underneath." "Gonna take ballistics off a shattered bullet?" "No." "Fingerprints." "Whatever you're gonna do, do it fast." "Because we found his next target." "He's put it in tomorrow's paper." "I'm not sure you made it loud enough, sir." "What can I do for you, Mr. Reese?" "You wanted me to do the diligence on the LSI Holdings deal again." "Well, I found some irregularities." "Their CEO is in police custody." "No, not with their numbers, with yours." "Applied Sciences." "Whole division of Wayne Enterprises just disappeared overnight." "I went down to the archives and I started pulling some old files." "Don't tell me you didn't recognize your baby pancaking cop cars on the evening news." "Now you got the entire R D Department burning through cash claiming it's related to cell phones for the Army?" "What are you building for him now, a rocket ship?" "I want $1 0 million a year for the rest of my life." "Let me get this straight." "You think that your client one of the wealthiest, most powerful men in the world, is secretly a vigilante who spends his nights beating criminals to a pulp with his bare hands and your plan is to blackmail this person?" "Good luck." "When" "Keep that." "FOX:" "This is your original scan." "Here it is reengineered." "And there's the thumbprint he left when he pushed the round in the clip." "I'll get you a copy." "Mr. Wayne, did you reassign R D?" "Yeah." "Government telecommunications project." "Wasn't aware we had any government contracts." "You know, Lucius, I'm playing this one pretty close to the chest." "Fair enough." "ENGEL:" "With no word from the Batman, even as they mourn Commissioner Loeb these cops have to wonder if the Joker will make good on his threat in the obituary column of The Gotham Times to kill the mayor." "I've checked all the databases." "There are four possibles." "Cross-reference the addresses." "Look for Parkside, overlooking the parade." "I got one." "Melvin White, 1 502 Randolph Apartments." "Aggravated assault, moved to Arkham twice." "What do you got on the roof?" "We're tight, but frankly, there's a lot of windows up here." "Commissioner Loeb dedicated his life to law enforcement and to the protection of his community." "I remember when I first took office and I asked if he wanted to stay on as commissioner." "And he said he would, provided I kept my politics out of his office." "Clearly he was not a man who minced words, nor should he have been." "A number of policies that he enacted as commissioner were unpopular." "Policies that flooded my office with angry calls and letters...." "Who's that?" "What happened?" "They took our guns." "And our uniforms." "MAYOR:" "And as we recognize the sacrifice of this man we must remember that vigilance is the price of safety." "Stand by." "Honor guard." "Attention." "Port arms." "Ready!" "Aim!" "Fire!" "Ready!" "Aim!" "Ready!" "Aim!" "officer:" "Stay down!" "Don't move!" "STEPHENS:" "Mr. Mayor." "Get him out of here." "l'll see you later." "Why are you going back?" "Get out of here." "Tell me what you know about the Joker." "No." "I'm sorry, Barbara." "Jimmy, go play with your sister." "Go ahead, honey." "STEPHENS:" "If there's anything we can do, anything you need, we're here for you." "Shh." "BARBARA:" "Are you out there?" "Are you?" "You brought this craziness on us." "You did!" "You brought this on us!" "Switch it off, he ain't coming." "He doesn't wanna talk to us." "God help whoever he does wanna talk to." "Can't we go someplace quieter?" "We can't hear each other talk." "What makes you think I wanna hear you talk?" "What?" "Yeah?" "MAN:" "Second." "Okay." "Harvey, where are you?" "DENT:" "Where are you?" "I'm where you should be, at Major Crimes." "I'm trying to deal with all of this mess." "Can I get the fingerprint analysis?" "Rachel, listen." "You're not safe there." "This is Gordon's unit." "Gordon's gone." "RACHEL:" "He vouched for these men." "And he's gone." "The Joker's named you next." "God, is there someone, is there anyone in this town we can trust?" "Bruce." "We can trust Bruce Wayne." "No." "Rachel, I know you're his friend, but" "Harvey, trust me." "Bruce's penthouse is now the safest place in the city." "Then you go straight there." "Don't tell anybody and I'll find you there." "I love you." "I want the Joker." "From one professional to another you're trying to scare somebody, pick a better spot." "From this height, the fall wouldn't kill me." "l'm counting on it." "Huh!" "Where is he?" "l don't know where he is." "He found us." "He must have friends." "Friends?" "Have you met this guy?" "Someone knows where he is." "Nobody's gonna tell you nothing." "They're wise to your act." "You got rules." "The Joker, he's got no rules." "Nobody's gonna cross him for you." "If you want this guy, you got one way." "But you already know what that is." "Just take off that mask, let him come find you." "Or you can let a couple more people get killed while you make up your mind." "You wanna play games?" "How's that feel?" "You wouldn't." "l wouldn't!" "You don't think I will?" "Mm-mm." "No." "No, I wouldn't." "That's why I'm not gonna leave it up to me." "Heads, you get to keep your head." "Tails not so lucky." "So you wanna tell me about the Joker?" "Let's go again." "l don't know anything!" "God, don't!" "You're not playing the odds, friend." "Let's do it again." "You'd leave a man's life to chance?" "Not exactly." "His name's Schiff, Thomas." "He's a paranoid schizophrenic, former patient at Arkham." "The kind of mind the Joker attracts." "What do you expect to learn from him?" "The Joker killed Gordon." "He's gonna kill Rachel." "You're the symbol of hope I could never be." "Your stand against organized crime is the first legitimate ray of light in Gotham in decades." "If anyone saw this, everything would be undone." "The criminals you arrested would be released and Jim Gordon will have died for nothing." "You're gonna hold a press conference tomorrow." "Why?" "No one else will die because of me." "Gotham's in your hands now." "You can't." "You can't give in." "You can't give in!" "Harvey called." "He said Batman's gonna turn himself in." "I have no choice." "You honestly think that's gonna keep the Joker from killing people?" "Maybe not." "But I have enough blood on my hands." "And I've seen now what I would have to become to stop men like him." "You once told me that if the day came when I was finished that we'd be together." "Bruce, don't make me your one hope for a normal life." "Did you mean it?" "Yes." "Bruce." "If you turn yourself in, they're not gonna let us be together." "ALFRED:" "Logs as well?" "BRUCE:" "Everything." "Anything that could lead back to Lucius or Rachel." "People are dying, Alfred." "What would you have me do?" "Endure, Master Wayne." "Take it." "They'll hate you for it, but that's the point of Batman." "He can be the outcast." "He can make the choice that no one else can make." "The right choice." "No, today I found out what Batman can't do." "He can't endure this." "Today you get to say "I told you so."" "Today, I don't want to." "But I did bloody tell you." "ALFRED:" "I suppose they're gonna lock me up as well as your accomplice." "BRUCE:" "Accomplice?" "I'm gonna tell them the whole thing was your idea." "Ladies and gentlemen, I've called this press conference for two reasons." "Firstly, to assure the citizens of Gotham that everything that can be done over the Joker killings is being done." "Secondly, because the Batman has offered to turn himself in." "But let's consider the situation." "Should we give in to this terrorist's demands?" "Do we really think he's gonna--?" "You'd rather protect an outlaw vigilante than the lives of citizens?" "The Batman is an outlaw." "That's not why we demand he turn himself in, we're doing it because we're scared." "We've been happy to let Batman clean up our streets till now." "MAN 1 :" "Things are worse than ever!" "MAN 2:" "Amen." "Yes, they are." "But the night is darkest just before the dawn." "And I promise you the dawn is coming." "One day, the Batman will have to answer for the laws he's broken." "But to us not to this madman." "No more dead cops!" "officers:" "Yeah!" "He should turn himself in!" "MAN 3:" "Give us the Batman!" "Come on!" "MAN 4:" "Where is he?" "So be it." "Take the Batman into custody." "WOMAN:" "What?" "MAN 5:" "ls he here?" "I am the Batman." "MAN 6:" "What?" "MAN 7:" "Come on." "RACHEL:" "Alfred." "Why is he letting Harvey do this?" "He went down to the press conference." "l know." "He just stood by." "Perhaps both Bruce and Mr. Dent believe that Batman stands for something more important than the whims of a terrorist, Miss Dawes even if everyone hates him for it." "That's the sacrifice he's making." "He's not being a hero." "He's being something more." "Yeah, you're absolutely right." "Letting Harvey take the fall for this is not heroic at all." "You know him better than anyone." "I do." "Will you give this to him for me?" "When the time is right?" "How will I know?" "It's not sealed." "Goodbye, Alfred." "Bye, Rachel." "I didn't have time to talk this through." "What are you doing?" "They're transferring me to Central Holding." "This is the Joker's chance, and when he attacks, the Batman will take him down." "Listen." "This is too dangerous." "We get this guy to County, he's their problem." "The streets will be cleared so let's go." "The convoys stop for no reason." "I hope you got some moves, pal." "He's using you as bait." "He doesn't know if he can get the Joker." "He's failed so far." "How do you know what he's thinking?" "l just do." "Anyway, this isn't just about you." "What about the people depending on you to clean the city up and do it honorably and--?" "Harvey." "Tell everyone the truth." "Heads, I go through with it." "This is your life." "You can't leave something like that to chance." "I'm not." "You make your own luck." "Hey, you wait like everybody else, pal." "What the hell is that?" "Obstruction ahead, obstruction ahead!" "Damn it!" "All units divert down onto Lower Fifth. I repeat, exit down." "Exit down!" "Lower Fifth?" "We'll be like turkeys on Thanksgiving." "Jesus." "Come on, get us out of here." "Let's go." "Listen, we need backup." "We've got company." "We got trouble, guys." "Lock and load!" "The hell was that?" "These are built for that, right?" "He'll need something a lot bigger to get through this." "What is that?" "What is that, a bazooka?" "I didn't sign up for this!" "Look out." "Look out!" "JOKER:" "Hmm." "Come on, let's go!" "Harvey, Harvey, Harvey Dent." "Oh, excuse me. I wanna drive." "COMPUTER:" "Scanning all systems." "Scanning all systems." "We gotta get topside." "We need air support, now!" "I like this job." "I like it." "COMPUTER:" "Damage catastrophic." "Eject seguence initiated." "Goodbye." "We're on point, ready to give them some of their own medicine." "That's what I'm talking about." "Air cav." "Okay, rack them up." "Rack them up, rack them up, rack them up." "That's not good." "Okay, that's not good!" "Now, there's a Batman." "Ooh, you wanna play." "Come on." "Come on." "He missed!" "You can't stop here." "We're like sitting ducks!" "Come on, come on." "Come on." "Come on. I want you to do it, I want you to do it." "Come on!" "Come on." "Come on. I want you to do it, I want you to do it." "Come on, hit me." "Come on, hit me." "Come on, hit me!" "Hit me!" "Come on, come on." "Aah!" "Could you please just give me a minute?" "We got you, you son of a bitch." "Gor" " You do like to play things pretty close to the chest." "We got him, Harvey." "REPORTER 1 :" "Mr. Dent!" "How does it feel to be the biggest hero in Gotham?" "No, I'm no hero." "Gotham's finest, they're the heroes." "REPORTER 1 :" "But you and your office have been working with the Batman all along." "No, but I trusted him to do the right thing." "REPORTER 2:" "Which was?" "Saving my ass." "All right, people, that's enough." "Let him be." "Let him be." "Thank you, detective." "I've got a date with a pretty upset girlfriend." "l figured, counselor." "REPORTER 3:" "Mr. Dent, sir..." "...how about one for the front page, sir?" "REPORTER 4:" "Mr. Dent." "Stand away!" "All of you!" "I don't want anything for his Mob lawyer to use, you understand?" "Back from the dead." "I, uh couldn't risk my family's safety." "MAYOR:" "What do we got?" "Nothing." "No matches on prints, DNA, dental." "Clothing is custom, no labels." "Nothing in his pockets but knives and lint." "No name." "No other alias." "MAYOR:" "Go home, Gordon." "The clown'll keep till morning." "Go get some rest." "You're gonna need it." "Tomorrow you take the big job." "You don't have any say in the matter." "Commissioner Gordon." "I'm sorry, I couldn't risk your safety." "MURPHY:" "Look at these ugly bastards." "l don't feel good." "MURPHY:" "You're a cop killer." "You're lucky to be feeling anything below the neck." "Please!" "Step away from the bars!" "THUG:" "My insides hurt." "Did Batman save you, Daddy?" "Actually, this time I saved him." "GORDON:" "Has he said anything yet?" "Evening, commissioner." "Harvey Dent never made it home." "Of course not." "What have you done with him?" "Me?" "I was right here." "Who did you leave him with?" "Hm?" "Your people?" "Assuming, of course, that they are still your people and not Maroni's." "Does it depress you, commissioner to know just how alone you really are?" "Does it make you feel responsible for Harvey Dent's current predicament?" "Where is he?" "What's the time?" "What difference does that make?" "Well, depending on the time, he may be in one spot or several." "lf we're gonna play games..." "Mm-hm?" "...I'm gonna need a cup of coffee." "Ah, the "good cop, bad cop" routine?" "Not exactly." "Never start with the head." "The victim gets all fuzzy." "He can't feel the next" "See?" "You wanted me." "Here I am." "JOKER:" "I wanted to see what you'd do." "And you didn't disappoint." "You let five people die." "Then you let Dent take your place." "Even to a guy like me, that's cold." "Where's Dent?" "Those Mob fools want you gone so they can get back to the way things were." "But I know the truth." "There's no going back." "You've changed things." "Forever." "Then why do you wanna kill me?" "I don't wanna kill you." "What would I do without you?" "Go back to ripping off Mob dealers?" "No, no." "No." "No, you...." "You complete me." "You're garbage who kills for money." "Don't talk like one of them." "You're not." "Even if you'd like to be." "To them, you're just a freak like me." "They need you right now but when they don't they'll cast you out like a leper." "You see, their morals, their code it's a bad joke." "Dropped at the first sign of trouble." "They're only as good as the world allows them to be. I'll show you." "When the chips are down, these" "These civilized people they'll eat each other." "See, I'm not a monster." "I'm just ahead of the curve." "Where's Dent?" "You have all these rules, and you think they'll save you." "He's in control." "l have one rule." "Oh." "Then that's the rule you'll have to break to know the truth." "Which is?" "The only sensible way to live is without rules." "And tonight you're gonna break your one rule." "I'm considering it." "There's only minutes left, so you'll have to play my game if you wanna save one of them." ""Them"?" "You know, for a while there, I thought you really were Dent." "The way you threw yourself after her." "Look at you go." "Does Harvey know about you and his little bunny?" "Where are they?" "!" "Killing is making a choice." "Where are they?" "!" "Choose between one life or the other." "Your friend the district attorney, or his blushing bride-to-be." "You have nothing, nothing to threaten me with." "Nothing to do with all your strength." "Don't worry, I'm gonna tell you where they are, both of them." "And that's the point." "You'll have to choose." "He's at 250 52nd Street and she's on Avenue X at Cicero." "Which one you going after?" "Rachel." "GORDON:" "We're getting Dent!" "250 52nd Street!" "RACHEL:" "Hello?" "Can anybody hear me?" "Hello!" "Rachel?" "Harvey." "Oh, Harvey, thank God." "Are you okay?" "I'm all right. I'm in a" "I'm in a warehouse." "They got me wired to these oil drums." "I am too." "Harvey." "I want my phone call." "I want it." "I want it." "I want my phone call." "That's nice." "How many of your friends have I killed?" "I'm a 20-year man and I know the difference between punks who need a lesson in manners and the freaks like you who would just enjoy it." "And you killed six of my friends." "Six?" "Please." "My insides hurt." "I don't really care." "Back away." "The boss said he'd make the voices go away." "He said he'd go inside and replace them with bright lights like Christmas." "You're out of your mind, pal." "Back off." "Medic to the holding tank." "Come on." "Get the door open." "You guys, back off!" "Listen, we don't have a lot of time." "They told me that only one of us was gonna make it and that they were gonna let our friends choose." "Okay, Rachel." "It's gonna be fine." "It's gonna be all right." "They're coming for you." "Listen to me. I'll help you." "Just talk me through what's going on with you." "Can you find something, anything, sharp?" "l'm trying." "What's--?" "Shit." "Harvey?" "Harvey, what's happening?" "All available units, converge at 250 52nd Street." "Do you wanna know why I use a knife?" "Guns are too quick." "You can't savor all the little emotions." "You see, in their last moments people show you who they really are." "So in a way, I knew your friends better than you ever did." "Would you like to know which of them were cowards?" "officer:" "What's that?" "MEDIC:" "Jeez." "He's got some kind of a..." "...contusion." "l know you're gonna enjoy this." "I'm gonna have to try and enjoy it even more." "officer 1 :" "Whoa, whoa!" "officer 2:" "Just put it down." "Take it easy." "Take it easy." "Drop the weapon now!" "lt's my own damn fault, just shoot him!" "Let him go now!" "Drop it!" "What?" "Sorry?" "What do you want?" "I just want my phone call." "RACHEL:" "What--?" "What--?" "What's happening?" "Just talk to me, just for one second." "All right?" "Right." "Ow." "Ow." "Shh, shh, shh." "Is that a phone?" "Mount the curb!" "Harvey, just in case, I wanna tell you something, okay?" "Don't think like that." "They're coming." "I know they are, but I don't want them to." "I don't wanna live without you, and I do have an answer for you." "My answer is yes." "No!" "No!" "No!" "Not me!" "Why are you coming for me?" "No!" "Rachel!" "Rachel!" "Harvey." "No!" "No!" "Rachel!" "Okay." "Rachel!" "No!" "No!" "Harvey, it's okay. lt's all right." "Listen." "Somewh" "RAMIREZ:" "No, commissioner!" "Rachel!" "No!" "Hello there." "SERGEANT:" "Back at the MCU, the Joker's gone." "With Lau?" "The Joker planned to be caught." "He wanted me to lock him up in the MCU." "RACHEL:" "Dear Bruce:" "I need to be honest and clear." "I'm going to marry Harvey Dent." "I love him, and I wanna spend the rest of my life with him." "When I told you that if Gotham no longer needed Batman, we could be together I meant it." "But now I'm sure the day won't come when you no longer need Batman." "I hope it does." "And if it does, I will be there but as your friend." "I'm sorry, Harvey." "RACHEL:" "I'm sorry to let you down." "If you lose your faith in me, please keep your faith in people." "Love, now and always, Rachel." "ALFRED:" "Prepared a little breakfast." "Very well, then." "Alfred." "Yes, Master Wayne?" "Did I bring this on her?" "I was meant to inspire good not madness, not death." "You have inspired good." "But you spat in the faces of Gotham's criminals." "Didn't you think there might be casualties?" "Things always get worse before they get better." "But Rachel, Alfred." "Rachel believed in what you stood for what we stand for." "Gotham needs you." "No, Gotham needs its true hero and I let that murdering psychopath blow him half to hell." "Which is why, for now they're gonna have to make do with you." "She was gonna wait for me, Alfred." "Dent doesn't know." "He can never know." "What's that?" "lt can wait." "That bandit in the forest in Burma." "Did you catch him?" "Yes." "How?" "We burned the forest down." "He's credible, an M A lawyer from a leading consultancy." "He says he's waited as long as he can for Batman to do the right thing." "Now he's taking matters into his own hands." "We'll be live at 5 with the true identity of the Batman." "I'm sorry about Rachel." "The doctor says you're in agonizing pain, but that you won't accept medication." "That you're refusing to accept skin grafts." "Remember that name you all had for me when I was at internal Affairs?" "What was it, Gordon?" "Harvey, I...." "Say it." "Say it!" "Two-Face." "Harvey Two-Face." "Why should I hide who I am?" "I know you tried to warn me." "I'm sorry." "Wuertz picked you up." "Was he working for them?" "Do you know who picked up Rachel?" "Harvey, I need to know which of my men I can trust." "Why would you listen to me now?" "I'm sorry, Harvey." "No." "No, you're not." "Not yet." "This craziness, it's too much." "Should've thought about that before you let the clown out of the box." "MARONl:" "You want him?" "I can tell you where he'll be this afternoon." "CHECHEN:" "Not so crazy as you look." "I told you, I'm a man of my word." "Where is the Italian?" "All tactical units will converge on the location in 20 minutes." "I want auxiliary units to cover all possible getaway routes." "CHECHEN:" "Please." "Joker-man, what you do with all your money?" "You see, I'm a guy of simple taste." "I enjoy dynamite and gunpowder and gasoline." "What the--?" "Ah, ah, ah." "And you know the thing that they have in common?" "They're cheap." "CALLER 1:" "How much are they paying you to say who Batman is?" "This is our chance. I want Lau alive." "The Joker, either way." "Hey, Jim." "Get a load of this." "ENGEL:" "Let's take the next caller." "CALLER 2:" "Harvey Dent didn't wanna give in to this maniac." "You think you know better?" "I think that if we could talk to Dent today, he may feel differently." "And we wish him a speedy recovery." "Because God knows, we need him now." "You said you were a man of your word." "Oh, I am." "I'm only burning my half." "All you care about is money." "This town deserves a better class of criminal and I'm gonna give it to them." "Tell your men they work for me now." "This is my city." "They won't work for a freak." ""Freak."" "Why don't we cut you up into little pieces and feed you to your pooches?" "Hm?" "And then we'll see how loyal a hungry dog really is." "It's not about money it's about sending a message." "Everything burns." "Who is this?" "JOKER:" "I had a vision of a world without Batman." "The Mob ground out a little profit and the police tried to shut them down one block at a time." "And it was so boring." "I've had a change of heart." "I don't want Mr. Reese spoiling everything but why should I have all the fun?" "Let's give someone else a chance." "If Coleman Reese isn't dead in 60 minutes then I blow up a hospital." "Call in every officer." "Tell them to head to their nearest hospital and start evac and search." "Call the transit authority, school board, prisons." "Get every bus down to a hospital." "The priority is Gotham General." "Wheel everybody out of that place right now." "You, you and you, you come with me." "Where are we going, sir?" "To get Reese." "I need you plugged in, checking Gordon's men and their families." "Looking for?" "Hospital admissions." "Will you be wanting the Batpod?" "In the middle of the day?" "Not very subtle." "The Lamborghini, then." "Much more subtle." "Excuse me." "Let me through." "Excuse me." "Okay." "Sir, could you help, please?" "I'm gonna find a bus for him." "ENGEL:" "Sir?" "Commissioner, do you really think an ordinary citizen would try to kill this man?" "ENGEL:" "Sir." "Commissioner." "Get the cars around the back!" "Go." "Keep rolling, Sam." "I see O'Brien and Richards." "No immediate family member admitted to a Gotham hospital." "REESE:" "They're trying to kill me." "Well, maybe Batman can save you." "Davis, they got space." "Bring him out." "Davis." "I saw Burns and Zachary." "ALFRED:" "Nothing on them." "And a patrolman I don't know." "REESE:" "Okay, so, what now?" "What do we do now?" "Where are we going?" "Send the information to Gordon." "Get out of here." "Davis." "Ma'am, we're gonna have to move him now." "GORDON:" "It's Berg, isn't it?" "Commissioner." "You okay, son?" "Hi." "You know ." "I don't want there to be any hard feelings between us, Harvey." "When you and" "Rachel!" "Rachel were being abducted I was sitting in Gordon's cage." "I didn't rig those charges." "Your men, your plan." "Do I really look like a guy with a plan?" "You know what I am?" "I'm a dog chasing cars." "I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it." "You know?" "I just do things." "The Mob has plans." "The cops have plans." "Gordon's got plans." "You know, they're schemers." "Schemers trying to control their little worlds." "I'm not a schemer." "I try to show the schemers how pathetic their attempts to control things really are." "So when I say" " Ah." "Come here." "When I say that you and your girlfriend was nothing personal you'll know that I'm telling the truth." "l'm gonna need your weapon." "What?" "Why?" "Because my wife's in the hospital?" "Yeah, that'd be why." "It's the schemers that put you where you are." "You were a schemer, you had plans and look where that got you." "ANNOUNCER:" "Police are taking every precaution urging people not to take matters into their hands." "I just did what I do best." "I took your little plan and I turned it on itself." "Look what I did to this city with a few drums of gas and a couple of bullets." "Hm?" "You know what I noticed?" "Nobody panics when things go "according to plan."" "Even if the plan is horrifying." "If tomorrow I tell the press that, like, a gangbanger will get shot or a truckload of soldiers will be blowing up nobody panics." "Because it's all part of the plan." "But when I say that one little old mayor will die well, then, everyone loses their minds." "Introduce a little anarchy upset the established order and everything becomes chaos." "I'm an agent of chaos." "Oh, and you know the thing about chaos?" "It's fair." "You live." "Mm-hm." "You die." "Mmm." "Now we're talking." "Mr. Reese." "That's Mr. Wayne, isn't it?" "That was a very brave thing you did." "Trying to catch the light?" "You weren't protecting the van?" "Why?" "Who's in it?" "Don't you think I should go to the hospital?" "Don't watch a whole lot of news, do you, Mr. Wayne?" "Southeast." "It's Gotham General." "Did you clear the building?" "officer:" "Yeah." "GORDON:" "You must know how many were inside." "You have patient lists, roll call." "Right now we're showing 50 people missing." "One bus." "The other buses were heading off to hospitals." "I guess we missed one." "What's your guess about where Harvey Dent is?" "Keep looking." "And keep it to yourself." "Anybody asks, we got him out." "Get me the mayor's office on the line." "We're gonna need the National Guard." "REPORTER: --people are still missing, including GCN's own Mike Engel." "I'm now being told that we're cutting to a video GCN has just received." "I'm Mike Engel for Gotham Tonight." ""What does it take to make you people wanna join in?" "You failed to kill the lawyer." "I've gotta get you off the bench..." "...and into the game." "JOKER:" "Bench." "Game." "ENGEL:" "Come nightfall, this city is mine." "JOKER:" "Mine." "And anyone left here plays by my rules." "Rules." "Mr. Fox?" "Security is showing a break-in at the R D Department." "If you don't wanna be in the game..." "...get out now." "Get out now." "But the bridge-and-tunnel crowd are sure in for a surprise." "Ha-ha, ha-ha."" "REPORTER:" "Gotham P.D. has shut down..." "BARTENDER:" "Sweet Jesus." "...the area's bridges and tunnels." "Shouldn't you be out there, you know, doing something?" "It's my day off." "I gotta take a leak." "Keep an eye out for me, will you?" "Now what?" "Need someone to shake it for you?" "DENT:" "Hello." "Dent." "Jesus. I thought you was dead." "Half." "Who picked up Rachel, Wuertz?" "lt must've been Maroni's men." "Shut up!" "Are you telling me that you're gonna protect the other traitor in Gordon's unit?" "I don't know, he never told me." "Listen, Dent, I swear to God, I didn't know what they were gonna do to you." "That's funny because I don't know what's gonna happen to you either." "Beautiful, isn't it?" "Beautiful." "Unethical." "Dangerous." "You've turned every cell phone in Gotham into a microphone." "BATMAN:" "And a high-frequency generator-receiver." "You took my sonar concept and applied it to every phone in the city." "With half the city feeding you sonar, you can image all of Gotham." "This is wrong." "I've gotta find this man, Lucius." "At what cost?" "The database is null-key encrypted." "It can only be accessed by one person." "This is too much power for one person." "That's why I gave it to you." "Only you can use it." "Spying on 30 million people isn't part of my job description." "This is an audio sample." "If he talks within range of any phone in the city you can triangulate his position." "I'll help you this one time." "But consider this my resignation." "As long as this machine is at Wayne Enterprises, I won't be." "When you're finished type in your name." "GORDON:" "My officers are going over every inch of the tunnels and bridges but with the Joker's threat, they're not an option." "And land routes east?" "Backed up for hours." "Which leaves the ferries with 30,000 ready to board." "I wanna use the ferries so I can get those prisoners off the island." "The men you put away?" "Those aren't people I'm worried about." "You should be." "Whatever the Joker's planning it's a good bet Harvey's prisoners are involved. I wanna get them out of here." "So where is Harvey?" "We haven't found him." "Oh, Jesus." "How long can you keep this quiet?" "Don't stop for lights, cops, nothing." "Going to join your wife?" "You love her?" "Yes." "You ever imagine what it would be like to listen to her die?" "Look, take it up with the Joker." "He killed your woman." "He made you like this." "The Joker's just a mad dog." "I want whoever let him off the leash." "I took care of Wuertz, but who was your other man inside Gordon's unit?" "Who picked up Rachel?" "Must have been someone she trusted." "Look, if I tell you will you let me go?" "Can't hurt your chances." "It was Ramirez." "But you said-- -l said it couldn't hurt your chances." "You're a lucky man." "But he's not." "Who?" "Your driver." "GUARDSMAN 1 :" "Stand back." "Hey, that ain't right." "We should be on that boat." "GUARDSMAN 2:" "You wanna ride across with them?" "Be my guest." "FIRST MATE:" "Sir, they've stopped their engines." "Right, get on the radio." "Tell them we'll come back and pick them up once we dump the scumbags." "Liberty, this is Spirit." "Come in." "CAPTAIN:" "What the heck was that?" "MAN:" "What the--?" "CAPTAIN:" "Liberty, come in, please." "This is Spirit." "Come in." "Liberty, we have the same thing." "We've lost both engines." "Liberty, come in." "BATMAN:" "Fox." "There's something going on on the ferries." "Get down to the engine room now." "MAN:" "Hey, buddy, what's happening?" "Captain, we got a hundred barrels down there rigged to blow." "And this." "CAPTAIN:" "Oh, my God." "FIRST MATE:" "Looks like some kind of detonator." "CAPTAIN:" "Why would they give us the detonator to our own bomb?" "JOKER:" "Tonight, you're all gonna be a part of a social experiment." "Through the magic of diesel fuel and ammonium nitrate I'm ready right now to blow you all sky-high." "Liberty, come in, over." "It's dead." "JOKER:" "If anyone attempts to get off their boat, you all die." "FOX:" "I'm zeroing in." "JOKER:" "Each of you has a remote to blow up the other boat." "His voice is on the ferry but it's not the source." "West." "Gordon." "BATMAN:" "I have the Joker's location." "Prewitt Building." "Assemble on the building opposite." "At midnight, I blow you all up." "If, however, one of you presses the button, I'll let that boat live." "So who's it gonna be?" "Harvey Dent's most-wanted scumbag collection or the sweet and innocent civilians?" "You choose." "Oh, and you might wanna decide quickly because the people on the other boat may not be quite so noble." "Stay back." "Well, now, who are you to decide?" "We ought to talk this over, at least." "We don't all have to die." "Those men had their chance." "We are not going to talk about this." "Why aren't we talking about it?" "They're talking over the same thing on the other boat." "Let's put it to a vote." "CROWD:" "Yes!" "Hello?" "RAMlREZ:" "Barbara, it's Anna Ramirez." "Jim needs you to pack up and put the kids in the car right away." "But the units outside...." "Those cops can't be trusted." "Jim needs you away from them as soon as possible." "I'll call them off for 1 0 minutes, and you'll have to move fast." "But where am I supposed to take them?" "250 52nd Street." "Leave as soon as the patrol car pulls out." "Okay." "She believe you?" "It's because she trusts you just like Rachel did." "l didn't know" "Didn't know what they'd do?" "You're the second cop to say that to me." "What exactly did you think they were gonna do?" "They got me early on." "My mother's hospital bills...." "Don't!" "l'm sorry." "You live to fight another day, officer." "SWAT LEADER:" "We found the missing hospital bus." "GORDON:" "Then we have a hostage situation." "It's a shooting gallery." "Why would he choose a spot with such big windows?" "SWAT LEADER:" "We have clear shots on five clowns." "Snipers take them out, smash the windows, a team rappels in." "Team moves in by the stairwells." "Two, three casualties max." "Let's do it." "BATMAN:" "It's not that simple." "With the Joker, it never is." "What's simple is every second, those people on the ferries get closer to blowing" "That won't happen." "Then he'll blow both of them up!" "We don't have time for paper ballots." "l want everybody to put their votes on this piece of paper." "If anyone's got pens, pass it along." "GUARDSMAN:" "Thank you." "Anybody else?" "Coming through." "Anybody else?" "Thank you." "COMMANDER:" "We need to get these votes in quickly." "Come on." "prisoner 1 :" "What are you waiting for?" "Push the button!" "prisoner 2:" "We're running out of time!" "I need five minutes alone." "No!" "There's no time!" "We have clear shots!" "Dent is in there with them." "We have to save Dent!" "I have to save Dent." "Get ready." "Two minutes, then we breach." "Fox, I need picture." "Hello?" "BARBARA:" "Jim, we're in trouble." "FOX:" "Okay, you got POV on alpha omni on beta." "Looks like clowns and hostages on two floors." "There's a SWAT team on the stairwell." "Another SWAT team on the roof." "TEAM LEADER:" "Line's clear." "Barbara, calm down." "He has the kids!" "DENT:" "Hello, Jim." "Harvey?" "Where's my family?" "Where my family died." "SWAT LEADER:" "Blue team, acquire the target." "Entry team, set your charge." "BATMAN:" "Fox, the SWATs are targeting the wrong people." "The clowns are the hostages." "Red team, go!" "Red team, go!" "Entry team, blow and go!" "Don't move." "SWAT LEADER:" "Take the shot." "FOX:" "Those swats are coming in hot." "SWAT 1 :" "Clowns, put down your guns." "SWAT 2:" "Drop your weapons!" "SWAT 3:" "On the ground, now!" "SWAT 4:" "Doctors, get down!" "Clear the line of fire." "Drop your weap" "SWAT 5:" "Freeze!" "Stand down or you will be" "FOX:" "Look up." "See those bad guys on the floor above?" "They're waiting to ambush the SWAT team coming up the elevator." "SWAT LEADER:" "Sixty seconds." "The tally is 140 against, 396 for." "So go ahead." "Do it." "We're still here." "And that means they haven't killed us yet either." "TEAM LEADER:" "Go, go, go!" "Blue team, cover!" "Uh-oh." "FOX:" "Trouble on the floor above." "SWAT 6:" "Get down on the ground now!" "SWAT 7:" "Freeze!" "Stop or we will shoot." "SWAT 8:" "We will shoot you." "Drop the officer." "Release the officer right now." "SWAT 9:" "Let him go now!" "On your knees!" "pilot:" "We got him." "He's out of the game." "SWAT 9:" "Keep your hands in the air!" "SWAT 8:" "Step away from the edge!" "SWAT 1 0:" "Halt!" "SWAT 1 1 :" "Stay down!" "SWAT 1 2:" "Don't move!" "SWAT LEADER:" "Be advised." "Clowns are hostages, doctors are targets." "Ah, you made it." "I'm so thrilled." "Where's the detonator?" "Go get him." "SWAT 1 3:" "Put down your weapon!" "SWAT 14:" "Don't move!" "You don't wanna die but you don't know how to take a life." "Give it to me." "These men will kill you and take it anyway." "No one wants to get their hands dirty." "Fine. I'll do it." "Those men on that boat?" "They made their choices." "They chose to murder and steal." "It doesn't make any sense for us to have to die too." "All the old familiar places." "FOX:" "Stand by." "SWAT 2:" "Red team, floor secure." "Hostages are safe." "Give it to me." "You can tell them I took it by force." "Give it to me, and I'll do what you should've did 1 0 minutes ago." "We really should stop this fighting, otherwise we'll miss the fireworks." "There won't be any fireworks." "And here we go." "What were you trying to prove?" "That deep down, everyone's as ugly as you?" "You're alone." "Can't rely on anyone these days." "You gotta do everything yourself." "Don't we?" "That's okay. I came prepared." "It's a funny world we live in." "Speaking of which, you know how I got these scars?" "No, but I know how you got these." "Oh, you." "You just couldn't let me go, could you?" "This is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object." "You truly are incorruptible, aren't you?" "Huh?" "You won't kill me out of some misplaced sense of self-righteousness." "And I won't kill you because you're just too much fun." "I think you and I are destined to do this forever." "You'll be in a padded cell forever." "Maybe we could share one." "You know, they'll be doubling up, the rate this city's inhabitants are losing their minds." "This city just showed you that it's full of people ready to believe in good." "Until their spirit breaks completely." "Until they get a good look at the real Harvey Dent and all the heroic things he's done." "You didn't think I'd risk losing the battle for Gotham's soul in a fistfight with you?" "No." "You need an ace in the hole." "Mine's Harvey." "What did you do?" "I took Gotham's white knight and I brought him down to our level." "It wasn't hard." "See, madness, as you know is like gravity." "All it takes is a little push." "Dent!" "DENT:" "This is where they brought her, Gordon, after your men handed her over." "This is where she died." "I know, I was here..." "...trying to save her." "But you didn't." "l couldn't." "Yes, you could've." "If you'd listened to me." "If you stood up against corruption instead of doing your deal with the devil." "I was trying to fight the Mob!" "You wouldn't dare try to justify yourself if you knew what I'd lost." "Have you ever had to talk to the person you loved most tell them it's gonna be all right, when you know it's not?" "Well, you're about to know what that feels like, Gordon." "Then you can look me in the eye and tell me you're sorry." "You're not going to hurt my family." "No." "Just the person you love most." "So is it your wife?" "Put the gun down, Harvey." "Harvey, put down the gun." "Please." "Please, Harvey." "Please." "Oh, goddamn it." "Will you stop pointing that gun at my family?" "BARBARA:" "No!" "We have a winner." "No, Jim, stop him!" "GORDON:" "Harvey." "BARBARA:" "Don't let him" "Harvey!" "I'm sorry!" "For everything." "Please don't hurt my son." "You brought your cops?" "All they know is there's a situation." "They don't know who or what." "They're just creating a perimeter." "You think I wanna escape from this?" "There is no escape from this." "You don't wanna hurt the boy, Harvey." "It's not about what I want, it's about what's fair!" "You thought we could be decent men in an indecent time." "But you were wrong." "The world is cruel." "And the only morality in a cruel world is chance." "Unbiased." "Unprejudiced." "Fair." "His son's got the same chance she had." "Fifty-fifty." "What happened to Rachel wasn't chance." "We decided to act." "We three." "Then why was it me who was the only one who lost everything?" "lt wasn't." "The Joker chose me." "Because you were the best of us." "He wanted to prove that even someone as good as you could fall." "And he was right." "You're the one pointing the gun, Harvey." "So point it at the people responsible." "Fair enough." "You first." "My turn." "Harvey, you're right." "Rachel's death was my fault." "Please don't punish the boy." "Please, punish me." "l'm about to." "Tell your boy he's gonna be all right, Gordon." "Lie like I lied." "It's going to be all right, son." "Dad?" "Daddy, is he okay?" "Thank you." "You don't have to thank me." "Yes, I do." "The Joker won." "Harvey's prosecution, everything he fought for undone." "Whatever chance you gave us at fixing our city dies with Harvey's reputation." "We bet it all on him." "The Joker took the best of us and tore him down." "People will lose hope." "They won't." "They must never know what he did." "Five dead." "Two of them cops." "You can't sweep that" "No." "But the Joker cannot win." "Gotham needs its true hero." "No." "You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain." "I can do those things because I'm not a hero, not like Dent." "I killed those people." "That's what I can be." "No, no, you can't." "You're not." "I'm whatever Gotham needs me to be." "Call it in." "GORDON:" "A hero." "Not the hero we deserved, but the hero we needed." "Nothing less than a knight shining." "GORDON:" "They'll hunt you." "BATMAN:" "You'll hunt me." "You'll condemn me." "Set the dogs on me." "Because that's what needs to happen." "Because sometimes the truth isn't good enough." "Sometimes people deserve more." "Sometimes people deserve to have their faith rewarded." "JAMES:" "Batman." "Batman!" "Why's he running, Dad?" "Because we have to chase him." "Okay, we're going in!" "Go, go!" "Move!" "He didn't do anything wrong." "Because he's the hero Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs right now." "So we'll hunt him because he can take it." "Because he's not a hero." "He's a silent guardian a watchful protector." "A dark knight."

"Heart, heart, heart... just one more heart." "You might as well be showing us your hand, Neelix." "This is a game of strategy, deception." "Never let the opponents know your hand." "Right." "Right." "Ten." "I see your ten and raise you 20." "Neelix?" "I'm thinking... 20... another 20." "If I didn't know any better, I'd say we're being hustled." "Ensign..." "Oh, I'm not buying the innocent Talaxian routine." "I don't know what you're talking about." "I've- l've..." "This is the first time I've played..." "What is it called?" "Poker." "Look, why don't we make things a little more interesting?" "Forget the chips." "Let's bet on tomorrow's work detail, all right?" "Whoever wins this hand gets the morning off." "I'm in." "I'm in." "Sounds good to me." "What have you got?" "Two pair." "Does... does that beat a flush?" "I knew you were bluffing." "That beats me." "Tom?" "Battle stations!" "And I had a full house." "I can't shake 'em." "Return fire." "Why didn't our sensors detect them?" "It looks like they used a dispersal field to mask their approach." "Warp drive?" "No luck." "Too much damage to the plasma injectors." "Harry, get down there and see what you can do." "Shields down 18 percent." "Harry, status?" "I need time to clear the injectors." "Sir, the cube's power output is fluctuating." "Then we're still in the game." "Bring us about." "Target their propulsion matrix." "We've lost phasers." "Arm photon torpedoes." "Fire when ready." "We knocked out their main propulsion system." "Good." "Now get us out of here, Tom." "They've got us in a tractor beam." "Harry, we need warp power now." "We lost two more relays." "I can't!" "Harry?" "Engines are off- line." "We are the Borg." "Your biological and technological distinctiveness will be added to our own." "Resistance is futile." "Neelix." "Neelix!" "Commander?" "It's all right." "You were unconscious, but I don't think you're injured." "I was dreaming you'd been assimilated." "Your subconscious was jumping the gun, but not by much." "From the look of this room, I'd say we're in an assimilation chamber." "Where's Harry?" "He's not here." "Well, we've got to find him." "We need to get our bearings first, figure out what's going on." "We're in a Borg cube, and Harry's missing." "That's what's going on." "Sir..." "Nobody we know." "Some kind of botched assimilation?" "From the looks of it." "What are they waiting for?" "They've got three more potential drones here!" "Stay calm." "Calm?" "We're in the chamber of horrors, or haven't you noticed?" "We're not drones yet." "If we keep our heads, maybe we can find a way out." "There's a force field around this room." "Let's try to disable it." "Their ion trail ends directly ahead." "I'm detecting another vessel, bearing 30 mark 1 12." "It's a Borg cube." "Red Alert." "Alter course to intercept." "Adjust shields to rotating frequencies." "Have they detected us?" "Unclear." "The vessel's holding position." "As soon as we're within sensor range, start scanning for the away team." "On screen." "Their propulsion system is off- line." "The damage is not that severe." "The drones should've repaired it by now." "Lucky for us they didn't, or we'd never have caught up with them." "Any sign of our people?" "Not yet." "They are targeting our warp core." "Shields are holding." "Return fire." "Aim for their weapons array." "Now they're going after our impulse engines." "That one was meant for our sensors." "They can't seem to make up their minds." "Their attack strategy is erratic, inefficient." "And finished." "We've disabled their weapons." "That was too easy." "Maybe they're in worse shape than we thought." "I'm picking up non" " Borg life signs." "One of them is definitely Talaxian." "It looks as though they haven't been assimilated yet." "Try to get a transporter lock." "Their shields are interfering." "Target their shield generator and fire." "Captain, I believe I can explain the unusual behavior of these Borg." "There should be thousands of drones manning the vessel, but I'm picking up only five signatures." "We are the Borg." "You will be assimilated." "Resistance is futile." "It doesn't sound like they've lost their confidence." "Their shield generators are too deep inside the vessel." "Our weapons can't reach them." "Open a channel." "Borg vessel, this is the Starship Voyager." "You're holding our crewmen." "We're willing to cease firing if you return them." "Negotiation is irrelevant." "You will be assimilated." "Not today and not by you." "Agree, or I'll resume firing." "They are scanning us." "We will return your crew members in exchange for specific technology." "Talk about unusual behavior." "The Borg negotiating?" "What technology?" "Your navigational deflector." "Disengage it from your secondary hull." "Mute audio." "If we surrender our deflector, we'll be dead in space." "We won't be able to go to warp." "What would they want with it?" "When their communications array was damaged, it severed their link to the collective." "They intend to adapt our deflector to regain it." "And call for reinforcements?" "That's the last thing we need." "We'll have to stall them until we can find another way out of this." "I'll consider the exchange, but first I want to be certain my crewmen are unharmed and alive." "You have scanned our vessel." "Our scans were inconclusive." "We want to see them for ourselves." "You may transport one individual." "Seven." "Proceed to Grid 63, Subjunction 01." "State your designation." "Seven of Nine." "These drones have not fully matured." "Where are the others?" "There are no others." "The drones aboard this vessel were... deactivated." "We are the Borg." "Seven of Nine- - a Borg designation." "She's like us." "Not like us." "She's damaged." "Her infrastructure has been removed." "We could fix her." "You will add to our perfection." "You are neonatal drones." "You should still be in maturation chambers." "We've matured long enough." "Doubtful." "Your thoracic nodes haven't formed yet." "You're incomplete." "You'll continue to malfunction." "You must return to your maturation chambers." "Comply." "Don't listen to her." "We tried to go back in." "The chambers were off- line." "What happened to the adult drones?" "We don't know." "irrelevant." "Don't tell her anything." "This vessel has been severely damaged." "You won't be able to repair it alone." "I can help you, but first you must release the hostages." "That wasn't the agreement." "I've modified the agreement." "I didn't realize I'd be dealing with children." "Your behavior is erratic." "I can't be certain that you..." "No modifications." "We show you the hostages;" "you give us the deflector." "Comply." "Comply." "Take me to them." "If she tries to resist... assimilate her." "Do you have a designation?" "Second." "You were the second to emerge from the chambers." "No, the first." "I could not establish order." "I became second..." "and he became first." "So you've established a chain of command- - a hierarchy." "We're a collective." "A collective of five on a vessel normally run by 5,000." "What makes you think you'll survive?" "When we reestablish our link with the Borg, they will come for us." "Commander, we've got company." "I wish to see if they're injured." " Seven?" " Don't let their appearance fool you." "They are in control of this vessel and all of its armaments." "Are you injured?" "Nothing serious." "The previous tenant." "We were trying to perfect our assimilation techniques." "You failed." "One of these captives was attempting to disconnect the security field." "Actually, I was just trying to..." "That was unnecessary." "He is not permanently damaged." "He learned his lesson." "The Borg are prepared to negotiate for your release." "I will return for you." "Give my regards to Harry." "The deflector array." "I'm not authorized to give you technology." "I must report back to Captain Janeway." "Agreed." "I also need to take an adult drone and a datanode back to Voyager for analysis." "Why?" "Something happened on this vessel that none of us understand." "If it happens again, it could endanger all of you." "No sign of Harry yet, but there are parts of the cube that we still can't scan." "Could the drones be holding him in another location?" "Unlikely." "Seven said they didn't seem to be aware of his presence." "If he ejected in an escape pod, we would have detected his beacon by now." "Try to activate his combadge." "Match the carrier wave to a Borg interlink frequency." "They shouldn't detect it." "Aye, Captain." "What have we learned from our friend here?" "The bigger they come, the harder they fall." "Behold the David that slew our Goliath." "A pathogen?" "A spaceborne virus that adapted to Borg physiology." "It's inert now, but in its virulent state, it attacked the drones and killed them." "Why weren't the juveniles infected?" "The maturation chamber is designed to protect developing drones." "Malfunctions caused by the deaths of the adults lead several of the chambers to open prematurely." "Does this pathogen only target the Borg?" "The Borg and other cybernetic organisms it encounters." "You're not thinking of using it as a biological weapon." "If we can revive the pathogen and reintroduce it, we could neutralize the drones without harming the away team." "Neutralize?" "You mean "murder," don't you?" "Captain, they're children." "Need I remind you that these "children"" "have committed murder themselves in their futile attempts to assimilate others." "Seven... tell me something." "You saw them, talked to them." "Do you think they'll kill the hostages if we don't give them what they want?" "Yes." "I want that pathogen as an option, Doctor, but I won't consider using it until I've seen these drones for myself." "Think you can arrange that?" "Then you're with me." "Computer, identify the source of this com signal." "Starship Voyager." "I need to respond on the same carrier wave." "That procedure will require significant modifications." "Well, don't worry." "I'm way ahead of you." "Why are you here?" "I wanted to make a new proposal." "We've already negotiated." "You've seen the hostages." "Now give us the deflector as agreed." "Maybe it's hard for you to accept, but you don't have to rejoin the hive." "Our Doctor can remove your implants, you can come with us." "You were individuals yourselves not long ago- - children with families." "You were abducted and assimilated." "I recognize your species." "You're Brunali." "And you're Norcadian." "Do you remember your world?" "A Theta" " Class planetoid." "Population: 260 million." "Binary suns." "And what did it look like when those suns set each night?" "Can you remember that?" "irrelevant!" "The deflector, now." "We need more time." "That deflector array is essential to our..." "No." "Give it to us." "Or what?" "You'll assimilate me?" "That won't solve your problem." "I can't give you Voyager's deflector, but maybe we can repair your technology." "Clarify." "Seven knows a good deal about Borg systems." "You have two hours." "I don't know the extent of the damage." "It could take longer." "Two hours... or your hostages die." "Don't come back here, Captain." "I bought us another two hours." "The pathogen?" "It should be ready by then." "Did you see the away team?" "I'm afraid not." "But Seven assured me our people haven't been harmed." "I can't believe we're negotiating with adolescent drones." "They're not exactly drones." "Mature Borg are predictable." "They'll ignore you or assimilate you, but these... juveniles, they're unstable." "They are contemptuous of authority, convinced that they are superior- - typical adolescent behavior for any species." "It's a transmission... from the cube." "Seven?" "No." "It's Harry." "I'm clearing it up now." "Delta Flyer to Voyager." "Respond." "We're receiving you, Ensign." "Where are you?" "Still in the Flyer." "It's locked up in some kind of hangar bay along with two alien ships." "I've isolated his coordinates." "How close is he to their shield generator?" "Roughly 800 meters." "Harry, are there any plasma charges aboard the Flyer?" "Yes, ma'am." "In that case, how do you feel about going for a little walk?" "I could use the exercise." "Tuvok will guide you to the shield generator." "If you destroy it, you won't have to make the trip back." "Understood." "I have the technology you've requested." "Thank you." "You were a drone for 18 years." "Correct." "I accessed your datafile." "Why?" "I thought it might be relevant." "What else did you learn?" "You were assimilated as a juvenile, like us." "My parents were scientists studying the Borg." "They took me with them." "My childhood was short." "Childhood?" "The years between birth and physical maturity, when humanoids adapt to their roles as individuals." "Perhaps you have memory of yours." "I don't know." "What about your parents?" "Do you remember them?" "No." "No memories." "Your subvocal processor is malfunctioning." "I can repair it for you." "It's a slight adjustment." "It won't be painful." "The first told me my malfunction could not be repaired, until we reconnected with the collective." "This color..." "My mother's hair... was this color." "I thought we agreed- - no irrelevant discussions." "What is the punishment for disobeying the protocols?" "Deactivation." "I engaged him in this discussion." "Return to your station." "I found some unsettling information." "I examined their communication records." "The collective did receive the drones' initial distress call." "How long before they arrive?" "A vessel was not dispatched." "The collective declared the neonatal drones irrelevant and severed their link to the hive permanently." "They see them as damaged, unworthy of reassimilation." "Precisely." "Are the drones aware of this?" "No." "They don't have the ability to decrypt the message." "Once they learn they've been rejected by the hive, they won't need our deflector." "They might be willing to release the hostages." "Normally when drones learn they're irrelevant, they deactivate themselves." "But these neonatal drones are unpredictable." "They may not adhere to Borg protocols." "There is another option." "We could invite them to Voyager." "When they realize they have no place else to go... lf you're suggesting transforming them into individuals, that would be extremely difficult." "You turned out pretty well, Seven." "That's because I was prepared before you encountered me." "What do you mean?" "When I was first captured by the Borg, I was young and frightened." "I watched my parents assimilated." "Then I was placed in a maturation chamber, and the hive mind began to restructure my synaptic pathways, purge my individuality." "When I emerged five years later, the turmoil of my forced assimilation had been replaced with order." "You may not be aware of this, Captain, but that order continues to be a source of strength for me." "I could not have regained my humanity without it." "I appreciate your insights." "But just because they didn't have the benefit of your Borg upbringing, doesn't mean we're going to turn our backs on them." "There has to be another way." "Not all drones can be saved, Captain." "Continue the repairs aboard the Borg cube." "We'll hold onto this information for now." "Yes, Captain." "They do have one thing going for them." "You." "If there's anyone who can reach them, it's you." "Three of hearts on a transwarp conduit." "Ensign?" "King of clubs... on a power coupling." "I'm marking my route with playing cards in case I have to come back this same way." "You shouldn't distract yourself, Mr. Kim." "I need a little distraction." "This hike is bringing up some bad memories." "An earlier visit to a Borg cube?" "Nope, haunted house my parents took me to when I was six." "Borg vessels may be forbidding, but they are not haunted." "Tuvok?" "Turn left, Ensign." "Nine of diamonds on a data node." "The resonance field collapsed." "It'll take an hour to reinitialize." "These delays are intentional." "I'm working as efficiently as I can." "Examine my work for yourself if you have doubts." "This data's flawed." "More likely it's your understanding of quadric field theory that's flawed." "Ignore her." "She's trying to divide us." "They rely on you." "Yet you lack the skills necessary to ensure their survival." "We've managed so far." "We're Borg." "You've forgotten what that means." "The unity of the collective... common goals... the quest for perfection... I have not forgotten." "But you don't need to remain drones to experience those things." "Come back with me to Voyager." "38 minutes." "You're wasting time." "Another maturation chamber is malfunctioning." "Its autonomic nervous system is failing." "It's Borg." "It will adapt." "It's not adapting." "Let Seven help." "We can modulate the stasis field to stabilize its functions at least temporarily." "Assist me." "The field is degrading." "We need to transport it into an incubation pod- - quickly." "Why is it doing that?" "It's respiratory system is impaired." "And this incubation pod is malfunctioning." "We must transport this infant to Voyager." "No." "The drone is part of our collective." "Not if it dies." "Tetryon levels are rising." "I'm getting closer." "The shield generator should be directly ahead." "I see it." "The first charge is in place." "Tuvok?" "Hello?" "You left these." "I like her." "She looks like Seven of Nine." "is Seven your friend?" "You know, she's my friend, too." "Maybe someday..." "Your weapon won't work here." "Dampening field." "How long has it been since you lost contact?" "Four or five minutes." "His bio- signs?" "Doctor to the Captain." "Please report to Sick Bay immediately." "On my way." "Keep looking for him." "What's the emergency?" "I thought you should see for yourself." "Somebody left a bundle on our doorstep." "I turned around and there she was, lying on a bio- bed." "Seven must have beamed her here." "A good thing, too." "A few more minutes and I wouldn't have been able to do anything for her." "It's hard to believe she could grow up to be a drone." "Hold her for a moment while I take some readings." "Oh. I guess she just wanted to be held." "Oh." "The pathogen." "I finished synthesizing it." "Start working with Tuvok on a way to deploy the virus." "Captain, you don't seriously plan to use it." "If I have to." "Let's just hope your brothers and sisters don't force my hand." "You complain of delays, then you interrupt my work." "Can you identify this?" "It's a plasma charge." "You tried to deceive us." "Nanoprobes were injected into his bloodstream." "He won't survive without medical attention." "Call your Captain." "Tell her to give us the deflector." "That won't be necessary." "I only need a few more minutes to repair..." "No more delays." "No more deceptions." "The deflector." "Resistance is futile." "Comply." "Return Harry Kim;" "then we'll talk." "We've talked enough." "Your requests are irrelevant." "Comply, or we'll assimilate the others." "It'll take us at least an hour to dismantle the deflector and transfer the components..." "Now." "I can't give it to you now." "It's complex technology that's part of our ship." "We can't simply remove it, and no amount of threats from you is going to change that." "They've locked a tractor beam onto the deflector." "They're trying to tear it off." "Hull stress is increasing." "Breaches on Decks 10 and 1 1." "lncrease shield strength and randomize the harmonics." "They're adapting." "Even with Voyager's deflector, your efforts to return to the hive will fail." "They'll come for us." "No, they won't." "The Borg received your message, but chose to ignore it." "They consider you irrelevant." "irrelevant?" "We are damaged." "They don't want us." "Ignore her." "It's another lie." "Their reply is in data grid 426." "Use decryption protocol theta- 3." "Return to your station." "It's another deception." "She's manipulating us." "The transmission is authentic." "It's a mistake." "The collective does not tolerate imperfection." "Then we'll assimilate more species... prove we're worthy." "Hull stress is reaching critical levels." "Reroute all emergency power to structural integrity." "That'll buy us another minute at most." "Captain, I found a fluctuation in their shield grid near a plasma duct." "It's too intermittent to beam out the hostages, but we could use it to deploy the pathogen." "Captain..." "Not yet." "There is no alternative." "There's always an alternative." "We just need to find it." "Their tractor beam draws power from the same grid as their shield matrix." "If we use the deflector to send a feedback pulse along the beam, it could disrupt their shields." "Do it." "Rerouting more plasma." "If this doesn't work, it'll do more damage to us than the cube." "It'll work." "Prepare to fire." "You have no future with the Borg... but you do with Voyager- - a chance to reclaim your real lives." "What do you know about real lives?" "Does he speak for all of you?" "You should make your decisions yourself, as individuals." "They are sending a feedback pulse through our tractor beam." "It's overloading our shield matrix." "Adapt!" "Their tractor beam is fluctuating." "Their shields are dropping." "I've got a partial lock on the away team." "Boosting the confinement beam." "I've got three of them." "Confirmed." "Chakotay, Paris and Neelix are in Transporter Room 2." "What about Seven and Harry?" "They must be in a section that's still shielded." "Amplify the feedback pulse." "The other captives are gone." "The shields around this chamber are failing." "Instructions." "Lower your shields." "Lower the shields!" "No!" "Leave her alone." "Get back to your station." "Do what I say." "What you say?" "I thought we were a collective." "One mind, one voice." "I protected you... gave you order." "Your order." "Your rules." "Their feedback pulse is overloading the induction grids." "This vessel will be destroyed." "We must evacuate." "No!" "Assist me!" "You're damaged." "Lie still." "We have to resist." "The collective will come for us." "His cortical implants are depolarizing." "I can't help him." "We'll find a new home." "You'll see." "W- we are Borg." "Yes." "We are Borg." "Lower the shields." "Captain's Log, supplemental." "Harry is recovering in Sick Bay, and the rest of the away team is safe and sound." "As for the drones, the Doctor's removed most of their implants, leaving us with four very troubled children." "We've sent out calls to any Brunali and Norcadian ships that might be in the vicinity, but we haven't gotten any responses so far, and we're still trying to figure out where the other two came from." "It may take a while." "They could use the time." "They have a great deal to learn." "It might help if they had someone around who knew what they're up against." "I've never been responsible for children." "Mr. Neelix would be a wiser choice." "From what I've seen, you're the one they've established a bond with." "They'll be looking to you for guidance." "Perhaps I could... help them avoid some of the obstacles I've encountered." "Do we have to regenerate now?" "Yes." "But first... I was able to salvage your assimilation profiles." "They include your names and some limited biographical data." "Icheb." "My name was lcheb." "Your name is lcheb." "I remember now." "It was my father's second name." "My designation is Mezoti." "It- it's a pretty name." "Yes, it is... and it's all yours." "Azan and Rebi... I'll tell you more about them tomorrow." "Computer, decrease ambient lighting by 60 percent." "Good night." "Sweet dreams."

"Hey, will you steam my uniform next?" "Yeah, w" " Interesting." "Do you recall this conversation?" "Leonard, want to go halfsies on a steamer? "Y" " No, Sheldon, we don't need a steamer."" "Looks like that rumpled chicken's come home to roost." " Hi." "Here are the make-up sponges you asked for." " Oh, thanks, I thought I had more." "Mmm." "Damn, you've got more makeup than I do." "You've got better makeup than I do." "Yeah, I'm borrowing this." "Hey, hey, hey, hey." "This is my Comic-Con makeup." "I love you, but there are some things a man doesn't share with his girlfriend." "That's a wise policy." "I once borrowed my sister's makeup for a costume contest." "Got a terrible case of pinkeye." "Yeah, but luckily, I was going as a zombie." "I won second place." "I feel like you guys just went to Comic-Con." "That was San Diego Comic-Con." "This is Bakersfield Comic-Con." "Is that better?" "Well... it's a lot smaller." "It's more about the comic books." "The way these conventions used to be before they went all Hollywood." "So to answer your question, no, it's not better." " Well, then why are you going?" " Y" "It's a comic book convention." "You know, it's like pizza or particle accelerators, even the stinky one's still pretty good." "All right." "Well, you guys have fun." "I guess I'll see you Sunday night." " Yeah." " Okay." " Mwah." "Oh, hang on a second." " Mm-hmm." "Hold this." "What was that for?" "To show people when they don't believe me." "Oh, this is the best!" "You have booze with breakfast on a Tuesday, you got a problem." "You do it on the weekend, you got brunch." "Sheldon doesn't believe in brunch." "He can't stand being at a table where one person's having an omelet and another person's having a sandwich." "He's not exhausting at all." "Oh." "It's Leonard. he says they're on the road and headed for Bakersfield at "warp speed." Ugh." "Maybe it's the mimosa, but I'm gonna give the kid an LOL." "It's cute how excited they are." "You should've seen Howard sewing his costume all week for the convention." "When did Howard learn to sew?" "When he was a little boy, every couple months, he would have to let his mom's pants out." "I don't even understand why they go to these conventions." "I know." "The 4 of them work at a major university." "They're all super smart." "How can they still be into something made for 12-year-olds?" "I don't mind it." "I think Howie's just in touch with his inner child." "Although when he comes to bed in his Batman pajamas, sometimes it feels like I'm touching his inner child." "It's probably because they were bullied growing up." "In a world where you can't fight back, superheroes provide meaningful wish-fulfillment." "Mmm... now I feel bad for picking on all those kids." "Although, in my defense, if Danny Biffle didn't want to eat a mouthful of dirt... he shouldn't have shown up to school wearing a bow tie." "I've never even read a comic book." "You guys?" " Uh-uh." " No." "I mean, it's such an important part of their lives." "Maybe we should try reading some." "Seriously?" "The comic book store isn't far from here." "That is an amazing idea." "Okay, how many of these have I had?" "I think you should turn on the GPS." "It is on." "Y" " Bu-but the turn-by-turn voice option isn't on." "You know, I know I'd feel more safe if you turn on the turn-by-turn voice option." "I love the turn-by-turn voice option." "Has it really only been 10 miles?" "Okay, turning it on, but just to shut you up." "Leonard, bear left and continue on Interstate 210." "Ooh, sounds like that fellow knows what he's talking about." "I'd put on my listening ears if I were you." "What did you do?" "I found a hack online." "I was able to upload MP3 recordings of my voice to your GPS." "That is so cool." "Counterpoint, no, it's not." "Continue on Interstate 210 for 5 miles." "Here's an interesting fact about interstates." "Really?" "Y" " Shh, he said it's interesting." "Interstates are numbered as follows." "Even-numbered routes run east and west." "Odd-numbered routes run north and south." "3-digit route numbers indicate bypasses... or spurs." "Look, Leonard, there's a bridge." "Drive off it." "You know, we're not that far from Vazquez Rocks." "Oh, they shot a lot of Star Trek episodes out there." "We've got our costumes in the trunk." "We could go there and have a little photo shoot." "Great idea." "I haven't had a carbohydrate in 2 weeks." "These cheekbones need to be in front of a camera before I eat a pretzel and they're gone." "Yeah, that sounds fun." "Oh, smashing." "Now, Leonard, do you know how to get there?" "No." "Yeah, well luckily, someone in the car does." "Recalculating." "While we're waiting, do you know which president signed the Intestate Highway System Act into law?" "The answer, coming up in 14 miles." "None of you will get it." "It's Eisenhower." "Why are they staring?" "Who cares?" "Just soak it in." "Hello, boys." "Oh, hey." "Could you please stop staring?" "They're just girls." "It's nothing you haven't seen in movies or in drawings." "Hey, Stuart." "Well, what brings you guys here?" "We were looking for a recommendation about comic books." "Oh, well, I recommend you don't open a store and sell them." "No, we were just wondering why the guys like this stuff so much, so we thought we'd give it a try." "Oh, O-Okay." "What do you think you might be into?" "Superhero, fantasy, graphic novels, manga--?" "I swear I will turn a hose on you." "What kind of comics do the guys like?" "Um... a litt bit of everything." "Mostly superhero stuff." "All right, well, who's the best superhero?" "K" " Shh!" "You can't ask a question like that in here." "Are you trying to start a rumble?" "Well, the" " What do you recommend?" "Well, uh, let's see." "You've got your basic clean-cut good guys, Superman, Spider-Man, Captain America." "Then you have your darker anti-heroes, your Batman, your Wolverine, Punisher." "Ooh, I do love a bad boy." "As evidenced by your boyfriend and his fear of hamsters." "If I were you, I'd go for Fables number 1." "The artwork is sophisticated, it's intelligently written, and it doesn't objectify or stereotype women." "Ooh, Thor!" "He's hot." "Yeah, he kind of is." "And we're blending... and we're blending, and we're done." "I know Mr. Data isn't supposed to smile... but here it comes." "Come on, guys." "Let's do this." "Yeah, I'm sweating my bald cap off." "So what's our first pose going to be?" "Uh, I say we begin with a classic Star Trek fight scene." "I'll set the timer." "Sheldon, how is that a fight pose?" "Mr. Data's weapon is his mind." "I'm wielding it." "Phasers on the Borg!" "Charlie's Angels." "Okay, what's next?" "Uh, now let's do some sexy glamour shots." "I'll set the mood." "# Oontz oontz oontz oontz #" "# Oontz oontz oontz oontz oontz oontz oontz #" "# Oontz oontz oontz oontz oontz oontz oontz #" "Yeah, nice one." "# Oontz oontz oontz #" "That's right." "# Oontz oontz oontz oontz oontz oontz #" " Oh, my God." " # Oontz #" "Leonard, someone's stealing your car!" "What?" " Hey, hey!" "Come back here!" " Stop!" "Stealing is against the law!" "I don't believe this." "Son of a bitch." "Well, I'll call 911." "Wha" "Oh, no, my phone is in my other pants!" " Oh, so is mine." " Mine, too." "Anybody got any ideas?" "Nope." "The only thing left to do now is assign blame." "Nice going." "What kind of a person steals another person's car in broad daylight?" "What kind of person leaves his keys in the car?" "I thought we agreed this was all Koothrappali's fault." "You're right." "Nice going." "Wait, wait." "Car." "What is wrong with people?" "Why don't they stop?" "Maybe we're better off." "You know, what if we were to get in a car with a crazy person?" "Look at us, Sheldon." "We're the crazy people!" "Well... y" " Perhaps we should hold up a sign that assures passing motorists of our mental competence." "Good idea." "Why don't you get started on that?" "Come on, let's just start walking." "There's got to be a gas station or something nearby." "What, you think just 'cause you're wearing a captain's uniform, you're in charge?" "Yes." "All right." "Hmm, Okay, I'm done." "How did you guys finish so fast?" "I don't know, there were a lot of pictures, and 1 page only had the word "brakkadoom!"" "Yeah, well, I have street smarts." "So, what'd you guys think?" " Well, there was a lot of action." " Mmm." "And the story moved along at a brisk pace." "It was, overall" " What's the word I'm looking for?" " Stupid?" " So stupid." "I don't know how Leonard can get so caught up in this." "It's crazy." "They spend hours arguing about things that don't even exist." " Ugh." " What a waste of time!" "I know." "A hammer so heavy that no one else can pick it up?" "Uh-huh!" "I don't think it's heavy." "I think it's some sort of magic, so only Thor can lift it." "That makes even less sense, I mean" "No, no." "No, it doesn't." "Thor is a god." "The hammer is his." "Only he can use it." "It's like..." "Sheldon and his toothbrush." "Or his thin beckoning lips." "Okay, hang on." "What if Thor's hand is on the hammer?" "I mean, if he's touching it with his god magic, does that mean I could lift it?" " No." " Yes." "Wul, which is it?" "Maybe we missed something." "Let's read it again." " Okay." " Yeah." "You want some tea?" "Good idea." "I'll help you." "Wait, I thought we were reading." "We are." "We're just, uh... giving you a head start." "I wish my mom was here." "We could all hang out in her shadow." "Wool pants in the desert." "I feel like I've got poached testicles." "Oh, you poor thing." "You're sweating." "That's so much worse than having your car stolen!" "Well, insurance is gonna buy you a new car." "It's not gonna de-funk my junk." "Gentlemen!" "A little less bellyaching." "We're Starfleet officers and a member of the Borg Collective." "Please, Sheldon, I am so not in the mood." "K" " Leonard!" "All our lives we have dreamed of finding ourselves inside one of the fantasy worlds we love." "And look at us." "At this moment, we are, in fact, a Star Trek landing party... yeah, stranded in an alien and unforgiving environment... relying only on our wits, our fortitude and our moxie." "As long as we have those things..." " nothing can stop" " Nerds!" "I hate this planet." "It says right here on the hammer, "Whoever holds this hammer, if he be worthy, shall possess the power of Thor!"" "Ho-hold on, who decides who's worthy?" "Does the hammer decide?" " Yes!" " No!" "Ugh." "It can't decide." "It's a hammer." "You said it's a magic hammer!" "Yeah, but, it can't make decisions." "If Harry Potter's wand can make decisions, why can't Thor's hammer?" "Okay." "If you're going to start comparing wands and hammers, I can't even take you seriously." "Hello." "Hello." "Uh-uh-uh, 4 glasses of water, please?" "Anything for you guys?" "Can I use your phone?" "Our car got stolen." "Why don't you ask Scotty to beam you up?" "Scotty was on the original series, and... we're Next Generation." "So... joke's on you." "We're not with him." "You can't pick something up in outer space." "In space, there is no up." "Oh, yeah?" "Then how does the sun come "up" every day?" "Hard to argue with those kind of street smarts." "Leonard and Sheldon have boxes of comics across the hall." "Why don't we go look at those?" "Oh, great!" "Yes!" "And then you will see." "I am not wrong... because if we were in outer space, then anyone could pick up the hammer... because it would be floating around in a weightless environment." "Yeah, that's right, the slow reader used science." "Suck on that!" "Was there anything valuable in the car?" "Our clothes, our wallets, phones." "A-and about $300 worth of makeup, so this thief could look like anyone right now." "Makeup?" "Sure." "Uh-uh, we're going to the Comic-Con in Bakersfield." "They have a big costume contest." "It's cooler than it sounds." "I don't know, sounds pretty cool." "Wel" " I-It is." "It's not just comic books." "They've got action figures..." " toys, a Tron-themed dance party" " Okay, he gets how cool it is." "I think I have all I need here." "You guys need me to call someone?" "I'm... guessing your moms?" "Thanks, but we've got it covered." "Okay, I just talked to my mom." "She arranged for us to get a rental car." "Oh, great." "We can still make it to Comic-Con." "Are you kidding me?" "After all we've been through, I just want to go home." "Wha--?" "Don't be like that." "Come on, Howard, talk to him." "Yeah." "Okay, I'm with Leonard." "I'm done." "Fine, then I guess it's... 2 against 2." "How do we decide?" "Actually, it's 3 against 1." "What?" "!" "Wha-what about the mission?" "You said we were a real-life landing party!" "Yeah, well, we're not." "We're an imaginary landing party... who had real-life garbage thrown at us by real-life strangers who think we're idiots." "And to tell you the truth, I'm starting to feel like one." "I want to go home now." "Okay." "Did we at least rent the car from Enterprise?" "Hmm." "Get it?" "Enterprise?" "Heh." "Screw you!" "That's funny!" "Well, what if the Hulk picked up Thor while Thor is holding the hammer?" "Yeah?" "Then by the transitive property of picking things up, Hulk picked up the hammer!" "No." "Hulk picked up Thor, Thor picked up the hammer." "Okay, hang on." "If I go to a bar and pick up a guy, and he picks up a girl, and then we all leave together, did I pick up the girl?" "Did that ever happen?" "Hey, are we talking about me or are we talking about Thor?" "Well, I say that's the last time we ever go outside." "Look, right here." "Red Hulk is picking up Thor's hammer 'cause Thor's touching it!" "No, it's because they're in space!" "He's really just touching the strap." "The strap is part of the hammer!" "No, it's not!" "Are they actually arguing about comic books?" "No, tha-tha-that can't be right." "Maybe "Thor's Hammer" is a new color of nail polish." "Then Red Hulk must be worthy." "How could Red Hulk be worthy?" "You don't know his life!" "Yeah, there's only one logical explanation." "Somewhere in the desert we crossed into an alternate dimension... where the women in our lives can finally appreciate great literature." "If it's an alternate dimension... sounds like a job for a..." "landing party." "Captain, what are your orders?" "I say we investigate." "Wait-wait." "They might be hostile." "Fine, but set them to stun." "If we vaporize Penny, I'll never find a girlfriend that pretty again." "Fun fact." "President Eisenhower signed the Federal Aid Highway Act from his hospital room." "Wow, it is interesting." "You learn something new every day." "Say, can you name the 4 state capitols that are not served by the interstate system?" "Ooh, another quiz." " Yes!" " Yes!"

"What's going on, Virginia beach?" "Yo, yo" "Y'all ready to get this started?" "Are you ready?" "Hey, how you feeling?" "Maybe you didn't hear me." "I said, how are you feeling, Virginia Beach?" "All right." "Y'all ready for me to bring out these women?" "!" "All right, all right, let's get started." "Our first contestant is a teacher, and enjoys long, hard... math problems." "Please give a warm welcome to Monica." "God bless you, baby." "All right, our next young lady is a Capricorn, and one of Jamel's personal favorites." "Say hello to Tina." "Our third contestant is a Navy girl." "So stand at attention, boys." "This is the beautiful Tiffany." "Do we have a contestant number three?" "Well, apparently, Tiffany had some place better to be." "What's new, pussycat?" "Hey, Tony." "Diggin' the tie." "Is it new?" "Yeah." "I just got it last weekend." "It's Zegna." "I like." "I'm glad." "Paid over a hundred bucks for it." "Why do you always do that?" "What?" "You always have to announce how much you paid for your clothes." "It's weird." "What's weird?" "Abby asked me a question about my tie." "I answered." "It's called a conversation, Kate." "No." "Abby asked you if it was new." "She didn't ask you how much you paid for it." "The two things have no correlation." "Yeah, if I didn't pay for it, then it wouldn't be new now, would it?" "Look, what is the point of bragging to us about how much you spend on your clothes?" "We work with you." "We all know how much you make." "I don't." "Look, all I'm trying to say is that it's not very professional." "Gibbs would never walk in here and tell us how much he paid for his shirt." "That's because the prices have been pretty consistent at Sears since the late '70s." "We have a body in Virginia Beach." "McGee?" "Yeah." "Call Ducky." "You got it." "Hey, uh, boss, have you had a chance to sign off on that missing persons report I gave you?" "No, DiNozzo, I haven't." "I tried to get to it last night, but Sears was having a sale." "So when you found the body, you were alone?" "I give it five seconds." "Until what?" "Until he notices there was..." "Bikini contest?" "!" "Eight's my lucky number." "It's over, DiNozzo." "Gear up." "Agent Gibbs?" "Lieutenant Sommers, Virginia Beach Police." "I assume you want to take this one." "You assume correctly, Lieutenant." "As soon as we found her Norfolk" "I.D. card, we cleared out." "I brought in extra men just to seal off the area." "Bikini doesn't leave much room for an I.D." "There was a small beach bag next to her in the stall." "What is Volt Entertainment?" "It's a local cable channel that caters to men." "They air all of the contests." "I'll get a dub." "Who discovered the body?" "An elderly woman at about 1400." "She notified one of my men shortly after." "She was pretty frantic." "Where is she?" "She's in my car back there." "You don't want to see her, Agent Gibbs?" "Kate." "He's not really one for chit-chat." "I can see that." "Are there any more girls from the bikini contest?" "Hey." "DiNozzo!" "Right behind you, boss!" "That is one hell of a swirlie." "S wirlie?" "You take the kid by the ankles, dunk him in the toilet, then flush." "Usually reserved for dorks." "Does it look familiar, Probie?" "I don't think so." "Noogies, sure." "Wedgies, an occasional melvin, but, uh, no..." "If you two don't start working, I will show you hazing." "And the Marine Corps does not do wedgies or noogies or melvins." "Thank you, boss." "DiNozzo, measure and sketch these footprints." "You think she made 'em, boss?" "Well, they match her shoes." "Not smudged." "No sign of panic." "Think she went to the toilet voluntarily?" "No sign of a struggle." "No bruises on her arms or neck." "Why wouldn't she run or fight back?" "Maybe she didn't have a chance to." "She could have been in the vomiting position when she was attacked." "That's good, DiNozzo." "Thanks, boss." "Now get on the floor and start sketching the footprints." "It's a public restroom, boss." "It's really disgusting." "It could be worse." "How could it be worse?" "!" "Could be a men's room." "Ah, Jethro." "Hey, Duck." "DiNozzo and McGee'll be done in a few minutes." "Oh, no hurry." "It takes time to do detailed and concise work." "Mr. Palmer here finishes his work quite quickly." "Thank you, Doctor." "People, please clear the boardwalk." "Well, thank you, Sergeant Klein." "You have been very helpful." "My pleasure." "Thanks." "Her name was Petty Officer Tiffany Jordan." "Her C.O. said she was deployed on the USS Monroe for the last 57 days." "Ship returned to port yesterday at about this time." "What did the witness say?" "She doesn't usually use public rest rooms." "Has a phobia." "Well, this won't help." "Victim's address?" "9375 Rosewood Drive, Norfolk." "Come on, let's go." "She is all yours, boys." "Thank you, gentlemen." "Mr. Palmer..." "I love the beach." "Reminds me of college." "I thought you went to Ohio State." "I'm talking about spring break, Probie." "Every year my buddies and I hop in the car and head down to Panama City." "Yeah, at MIT, we never did the whole spring break thing." "Go figure." "Hey, so was it as wild as it looks on MTV?" "Probie, my stories alone could make you a man." "Something wrong, Doctor?" "Her head is in the toilet, Mr. Palmer." "Right." "Sorry." "I've just never seen you hesitate before." "Well, when a person is as experienced as" "I am, it's rare to come across something you've never seen before." "How long has she been here?" "Roughly two, maybe three hours." "That is incredible." "You know, you-you have a real gift." "Give yourself time, Mr. Palmer." "I've been doing this since long before you were a twinkle in your mother's eye." "Or even your mother's mother." "You know, some people find it strange... our profession." "Yes, so I've heard." "Did you ever consider another line of work?" "I suppose so." "Yes, I think there comes a time in everybody's life when they stop and wonder if what they're doing is meaningful." "It's only healthy." "Really?" "What other kind of, uh, career did you...?" "Shortly after I graduated from Edinburgh Medical School," "I gave serious consideration to a career in teaching." "Yes, in fact, I-I heard there was a vacancy at Eton, my alma mater." "I almost applied." "Well, why didn't you...?" "I loved the idea of teaching the world's youth." "Yeah." "But then I realized that deep down, academia was not for me." "I could never picture myself giving those long, rambling, esoteric lectures." "Me, either, Doctor." "Well, let's get you out of here, my dear." "She keeps a clean place." "Yeah." "Well, she probably didn't see much of it." "Battling the Bulge by Jeff Drixon." "Looks to me like Jeff is losing the battle." "How to Lose 15 Pounds in 15 Days, Losing is a Choice." "They're all weight-loss books." "These are all workout videos." "Preoccupied with weight loss, vomiting before her attack." "Sounds like an eating disorder." "Gibbs, take a look at this." ""Tiff, I hope you enjoyed my letters." ""I live for the day that we can be together." "Love, Jon."" "Romantic." "Flowers are fresh." "And he delivered them himself." "How do you know that?" "The florists put their insignia on their cards." "This card is blank." "Don't you ever get flowers?" "Don't like gifts that require attention." "These are all bills from before she left." "Where are the letters?" "You think she trashed them?" "She never got them." "She's been at sea for the past two months." "Right." "So, yesterday, she should have returned home to a stack of mail." "She did what people do when they take a trip." "She had her mail stopped." "Where have you been?" "I missed lunch, so I decided to go out for a snack." "Why?" "We're heading to the USS Monroe." "I set up an interview with Petty Officer Jordan's former rack mate." "Can I have two minutes to eat?" "You get anything for me?" "No." "I had a few dollars." "Then there's no time." "No food in the truck." "What?" "!" "Gibbs' rules, not mine." "On second thought, I think the rule is that there's no eating in Autopsy." "The truck's okay." "Why are you breathing like that?" "What's wrong with you?" "I'm not feeling so hot." "I don't like boats." "It's not a boat, it's a ship." "And it's docked." "Doesn't matter." "As soon as I get on the water, I immediately start feeling queasy." "Well, that's not a good trait for someone who investigates the Navy." "Oh." "I'm feeling dizzy." "Well, it's a good thing you didn't eat that burger." "Could've been embarrassing." "I can't believe this happened, sir." "She was such a great person." "Do you know of anyone that may have been angry with Tiffany?" "Not at all." "Tiff was friends with everyone." "We all loved her." "Sir, are you sure you're okay?" "Oh, yeah." "No." "I-I just haven't gotten my sea legs yet." "Can I get you anything?" "Some Dramamine maybe?" "Well, I already took six." "You know what, I'll be fine." "Don't worry about me." "Had Tiffany been sick?" "I don't think so." "Why?" "It appears she may have been vomiting when she was attacked." "Is there something we should know?" "Yeah, it's hot..." "She came to me about a month ago and said there was something that could potentially ruin her career in the Navy." "What do we have, Duck?" "Well, no shortage of water in her lungs." "She definitely drowned." "Any internal damage?" "Yeah, her esophagus is quite worn, as if she'd been vomiting excessively." "Was she bulimic?" "Possible, but not probable." "Her throat shows little evidence of self-regurgitation." "Preliminary tests conclude that her bout with hyperemesis was caused by a hormonal imbalance." "Particularly, a drastic rise in her estrogen level." "Morning sickness?" "Indeed." "Our young exhibitionist was pregnant." "It's Petty Officer Tiffany Jordan." "J-O-R-D-A-N." "No, I was just on hold!" "A warrant will take days." "I need her mail now." "Well, I understand that it's Federal." "That's not soon enough!" "Is the ocean view partial or panoramic?" "Oh, sweet!" "Oh, yeah." "And the bar's in the lobby?" "Yup." "Yeah!" "That sounds great." "Oh, yeah." "All right." "Yeah, I'll talk to you soon." "Thank you." "Thanks." "We're working; you're planning a vacation." "Oh, it's not just a vacation." "Kate, it's spring break." "Oh, you've got to be kidding me." "No." "Talk to my frat brothers last night, just booked the hotel today." "The wheels on the party bus are now in motion." "Let me guess Panama City." "Oh, yeah." "Palm trees, mai tais and coeds all week long, Probie." "Don't you think you're just a little old for spring break?" "I can bong a beer in under six seconds." "Believe me, I'll fit right in." "Abby didn't find any foreign prints on the bouquet or the beach bag, and that means one of you had better give me a lead." "DiNozzo, start with you." "I talked to Petty Officer Jordan's rack mate from Monroe." "She said Jordan bought an early pregnancy test during a brief stop at King's Bay." "Well, she knew she was pregnant." "Any idea about the father?" "She used a pay phone to call him, but his cell was turned off." "She said she left a message." "That's your worst nightmare, Tony." "How's it going with those letters, Kate?" "I'm working on it." "Thanks, Tony." "How long?" "Uh, two days; three, tops." "You got four." "Really?" "Hours." "Sounds about right." "McGee." "Are you waiting for me to announce you?" "No." "I'm sorry." "I, uh..." "I pulled the phone records from Petty Officer Jordan's apartment." "Uh, only one call since she returned." "It was yesterday at 1100 to a Lisa Kerr." "Two hours prior to Ducky's estimated time of death." "This address her work or her home?" "Uh, both." "She's an at-home yoga instructor." "Good job, McGee." "DiNozzo, you're with me." "Yeah!" "Right behind you, boss." "Three hours, 58 minutes." "Doctor, can you come here for a second?" "What is it, Mr. Palmer?" "I am not sure." "What do you think?" "Well, it looks like some sort of paraffin wax." "Yeah, it... it-it reminds me of a product my grandfather used to use." "He put a little of it on either end of his mustache." "Gave him the handlebar look." "Well, that doesn't make sense." "Well, it was well before your time." "Back then, it was a very popular look." "Yeah, it epitomized high society." "No, no, not-not about your grandfather." "Why would she have this stuff in her hair?" "Well, I would surmise it was on the killer's hands." "Get it up to Abby right away." "Thanks for having me come along, boss." "I know when it comes to women, sometimes I get a little distracted." "I just want to let you know that I appreciate this vote of confidence." "What I'm trying to say is, I'm not gonna let you down." "I'm going to be attentive and meticulous to every detail in my notes." "Oblivious to any distraction." "We're here." "DiNozzo!" "Oh, yeah." "I'm with you, boss." "DiNozzo, your PDA." "Right." "Here it is, got it." "Sorry about that." "It's not a great start, huh, boss?" "Could have been better." "Sorry." "Extend your arms." "And try to get your forehead to the ground." "Nice long stretch." "Let the head just hang..." "Lisa Kerr?" "...to the ground." "Yes." "Hi." "Special Agent Gibbs, NCIS." "Special Agent DiNozzo." "We have a few questions for you." "Of course, yeah." "Uh, Sally?" "Yeah." "Can you just take over the class for a second?" "Thanks." "Oh, sure, sure." "I don't know if it's hit me yet." "You were close?" "As close as you can beto a girl in the Navy." "I mean she was here for one month and gone the next." "How'd you meet?" "She signed up for my tantric yoga class a little over a year ago." "It combines physical fitness with the ability to heighten a woman's pleasure during prolonged lovemaking." "I'll reboot." "Who was Tiffany romantically involved with?" "Never known her to date anyone." "In fact, she was the only one in the class who was there for physical fitness." "She wanted to lose ten pounds for her shoot." "Shoot?" "Yeah, she was doing a spread with two other girls for GSM." "It was called, um, "Naughty in the Navy."" "Hit stands a couple months ago." "I remember that issue." "It was a good layout." "What is GSM?" "Get Sum Magazine." "It's like Playboy, but less risqu." "They both have really great articles." "The Navy respond?" "Oh, it was revealing, but it wasn't nude, so she got a slap on the wrist." "I got a copy of it inside." "Do you guys want to see it?" "That won't be necessary." "Why... won't it?" "I make a point of keeping all of my copies." "Like I said, great articles." "Tiffany called you yesterday." "Yeah, she said that she was back in town, and that she wanted to see me that night, and she needed to talk to me." "About what?" "Never said." "Hey, Lisa." "Hey." "How was it?" "Ah, it was all blown out." "Not a wave worth paddling after." "Should have gone with me for the a.m. sets." "The waves were overhead and clean all morning." "They're from NCIS." "Guys, this is my fianc, Kevin Holt." "Hey." "Hey." "So, any suspects yet?" "We're working on it." "Girl gets murdered in public during a bikini contest." "I don't know." "You'd think it'd be pretty simple." "You'd think." "We're finished here." "Up arm..." "What is this stuff?" "Bikini glue." "The contestants use it to keep their suit bottoms from riding up." "Really?" "Yup." "I used to go through sticks of that stuff when I was on the circuit." "There's so much you don't know, McGee." "Is this what Jimmy found in her hair?" "No." "I compared both substances." "The stuff in her hair is thicker." "It's more like a wax." "How's Kate doing on time?" "Down to eight minutes." "Seven." "Your watch must be slow." "Kate, you made it!" "What's this?" "Uh, don't ask." "So, how'd you do it?" "Did I ever tell you about that Feeb in mail fraud that's always flirting with me?" "Yeah." "I called him." "You didn't say you'd go out with him, did you?" "Not exactly." "I read him Section 22 Dash A of the Federal" "Government's sexual harassment code." "And then I told him I needed a favor." "Right on." "I've never seen so much crap." "This is why I've liberated myself from paper mail." "Why does that not surprise me?" "I don't even have a mailbox." "If it doesn't come electronically, I am not getting it." "Okay, we'll each take a third and filter through it." "I love it when you're rough, McGee." "Huh." "I knew she looked familiar!" "Who?" "Lisa Kerr." "She's the daughter of Mister Kerr." "You know, from Mr. Kerr's Cupcakes." "Oh, yeah." "Well, that explains the house." "And she's in all of the commercials." "And it was driving me crazy, 'cause I was trying to figure out where I knew her from." "Why don't you just ask her?" "I was kind of afraid to." "Why?" "Well..." "I've had a lot of short-lived relationships, and I kind of have a hard time remembering all of them." "I have the same problem with ex-wives." "The name's Jonathan Redding." "He's written our victim four letters in the last six weeks." "And the writing indicates classic stalker." "If he can't have her, no one can." "He sounds like our guy." "We have a return address?" "Cellblock F. He's in the Danville Correctional Facility." "It can't ever be easy." "Well, I-I still think we should talk to him." "I mean, we can't just ignore evidence like this." "What evidence?" "The guy's still in prison." "Not anymore." "I just spoke to Danville's assistant warden." "Jonathan Redding was paroled 13 days ago." "Jonathan Redding was arrested for assault and battery in May of '01." "He had two priors before that violation of a restraining order and possession of narcotics." "Two of his three arrests involved ex-girlfriends." "We locate him?" "I, uh, phoned his registered address." "They claim they haven't seen him." "His parole officer?" "Phoned him, as well." "Still waiting to hear back." "I'm gonna... call him again." "This guy definitely fits the profile." "All we have is a rap sheet and some fan mail." "Even if we find him, we can't detain him." "That may not be true, boss." "Redding's former cell mate saw the murder on the news." "He says he has some information we should hear." "In exchange for what?" "Depending on what he gives us, the D.A. may cut him a deal." "Take Todd." "Find out what he knows." "You got it." "Kate, with me!" "You ever interrogate a prisoner, Kate?" "Yes, Tony." "I've been at this for a while now." "Well, it's important to remember you can never let your guard down." "An inmate, unlike a civilian, has nothing to lose." "Yeah, but this inmate, Tony, asked to speak to us." "Wants to do the right thing." "He's a felon, and that's the way we're going to treat him." "Open the gate!" "How long were you and Jonathan Redding cell mates?" "Six or seven months." "Which it, Luke?" "Six or seven?" "What's with the third degree?" "I'm trying to help you guys." "Then answer the question." "Well, he came in right around my birthday, so..." "I guess it was closer to seven." "So, you gave him the magazine with Tiffany's picture." "When was it that you started to believe that Jonathan was..." "You're an Alpha Chi Delta?" "Rutgers." "'91." "Ohio State. '89." "No way!" "Yeah, dude!" "Are you in touch with any of the brothers?" "Try to." "You know, these days it's not that easy." "Oh, yeah." "You?" "Well, I'm still best friends with three of the guys from my pledge class." "In fact, we're heading down to Florida for spring break!" "Aw, that's awesome, man." "Yeah, yeah..." "Oh, I used to love spring break." "Panama City!" "Palm trees..." "Nope, that's all for now." "Thanks very much." "Boss, located Redding." "He is working at the Water Wheel Car Wash." "It's only two miles away from where Petty Officer Jordan was attacked." "We should've had him three hours ago." "I'm sorry about that." "I-I kept hitting dead ends." "Learn to anticipate, McGee." "Anticipate?" "Always think a step ahead." "Shouldn't have to ever waste time deciding what to do next." "Anticipate..." "Yeah." "Gibbs." "According to his cell mate, Redding stared at Petty Officer Jordan's photos for hours at a time." "No, I'm in the bedroom..." "And then the letters started." "You think he was obsessed?" "Oh, yeah." "He found her address over the Internet and said his plan was to contact her when he was released." "He didn't want to live without her." "Or her to live without him." "McGee track down an address?" "Yeah." "We're on our way." "Hey, McGee, get the..." "Keys to the car." "Keys to the car." "We're a little out of place here, McGee." "Feels like high school." "What the hell is that?" "Believe it's an Escalade, boss." "The wheels, McGee." "Oh, uh, the rims." "They're called "spinners."" "What's the point?" "It's a hip-hop thing." "The more I know, the less I understand." "Afternoon, gentlemen." "Your sedan looks like it could use a... wash." "We're looking for Jonathan Redding." "I'm Rodney, Jon's supervisor." "Something I can help you with?" "Yeah, you can point him out to us." "He's right over there." "I've got him driving today." "Jon do something wrong?" "Jonathan Redding!" "Stop!" "Federal Agents!" "Where's he going?" "!" "Whoa!" "Redding!" "Redding!" "Redding!" "Stop!" "Anticipate, McGee." "Luke was right." "This dude is creepy." "Do you realize you've been talking about Luke since we left?" "He's a good guy." "He's a criminal, Tony." "And you have a man-crush on him." "I do not have a man-crush." "I just feel bad for the guy, that's all." "Well, I just don't understand what it is about men and their fraternity." "It's like this pact to get drunk and laid supersedes everything." "Okay, getting drunk and laid is only, like, 90% of it." "And the rest is brotherhood and solidarity." "Well, if you ask me, it's as juvenile as spring break." "You ever been on spring break, Kate?" "Yes, I have, Tony." "Panama City, junior year." "But unlike the girls you're going to see, my friends and I conducted ourselves with complete dignity." "Sounds like a blast." "Finally." "I've been sitting here 20 minutes." "I'm rry, Jon." "I asked them to put out refreshments, and they must've forgotten." "Why am I here?" "Because killing people is illegal." "I didn't kill anyone." "Then why did you run?" "'Cause I owed the wrong people a lot of money when I went away." "Drugs?" "And now that I'm out, they're looking to collect." "I saw you two guys coming at me, and I reacted." "He's lying." "Well, if he is, he's pretty good." "I didn't know what else to do." "We just wanted to talk to you, Jon." "Yeah?" "Hi." "What'd I miss?" "Who dressed you?" "Look, I chased this joker through the car wash, all right?" "What?" "We came straight here." "This is all I had that was clean." "Your gym clothes were clean?" "Well, who would have guessed?" "Where'd you get this?" "Same place I got the other three Petty Officer Jordan's P.O. Box." "She never got them?" "That why you killed her?" "Because she wouldn't respond to you?" "I didn't kill her." "I loved her." "Where were you Saturday between 12:00 and 1:15 p.m.?" "I was there." "I was at the contest." "You're not helping your cause much here, Johnny boy..." "I went there because I wanted to talk to her, tell her how much she means to me!" "Why didn't you tell her that when you delivered the flowers?" "'Cause she wasn't home." "So, I left them at the door." "I didn't see her at the contest, either." "I waited, but she never came out." "Did you go by yourself?" "Yep." "I showed up about a half-hour before it started." "I stood right in front of the stage until it was over." "I didn't kill her." "I just wanted to be a part of her life." "You have to believe me." "What's the problem, Abbs?" "I'm not really sure." "The picture was crystal clear when I tested it." "There we go." "What happened?" "Tony forgot to rewind." "Thanks, Abbs." "You already watched this?" "I glanced at it." "He took it home." "What is wrong with you?" "!" "It's like you have some sort of a sickness." "I had a hunch there might be something on it." "Yeah, like ten half-naked women." "Cue it up from the beginning." "Got it." "It was a two-camera shoot." "One was on the stage and the other was on the crowd, for reactions." "Fast-forward to around noon." "Stop." "Zoom in on "B."" "That's him, right there." "Keep running it." "He's where he said he was." "Yeah, but he still has until 1:15 to slip away." "Speed it up, Abbs." "It's past 1:15, boss." "He's telling the truth." "Jonathan Redding did not kill Petty Officer Jordan." "Where's Gibbs?" "I don't know, but we do report to him, remember?" "I think I find us a lead." "Where?" "Honestly Tony, you need help." "You'll sing a different tone when I show this to Gibbs." "Show me what?" "I was standing through petty officer Jordan's layout and I found something I thought you should see." "These two photos weren't taken by the magazine." "They got'em from her." "Why?" "Something GSM likes to do: gives the reader or voyeur let's take a look another girls lifes." "Who do you think took the photos?" "Probie, back up a little bit." "Sorry." "In the article, petty officer Jordan said they were taken by a boyfriend." "But she didn't date." "Well, she was pregnant Mcgee." "There's only one way that can happen." "Did you contact GSM?" "I did." "They said that the photos were taken by a local photographer named jason Kaplan." "He's a freelancer they work with a lot." "Check it out." "Okay." "Don't worry boss, I'll keep it professional." "Yeak, I know you will because Kate's going with you." "I am?" "It seems like a in and out job boss, are you sure that's really necessary?" "He's sure." "This guy has the life." "He spends all day photographing world hottest women." "I'm sure his mom is proud." "What's that supposed to mean?" "Those pictures are demeaning." "They make women look like sex objects." "You need to listen up." "Human body's a beautiful thing." "It should be admired." "You're right Tony." "Human body is a beautiful thing." "Gorgeous, don't move an inch." "I feel nauseous." "Great." "Okay guys, let's take a five." "Tod, you wanna make sure to keep'em ***** up." "Sorry, I keep you waiting but I didn't want to... break the zone." "I take it this isn't for GSM." "No, this is for Sports Monthly." "You're looking at three members of the US waterpolo team." "Great uniforms." "Is there anywhere else where we could talk?" "I think we could talk in my office." "That'll be great." "Tiffany Jordan." "I couldn't believe when I saw her on the news." "Such a cute girl." "Kaplan really loved her." "We were wondering about the two small photos at the bottom of her layout, and they were taken by her boyfriend." "That's between her and the magazine." "My job is just to send in the pictures and get consent from whoever took'em." "Do you have their release on file?" "Sure, I keep records of everything." "Personally, I find it insulting that magazines publish amateur photos." "I spent four years in photography classes." "It took me months to get published." "Kevin Holt is Lisa Kerr's fiancé." "Why would he have any reason to photograh Tiffany in the bedroom?" "Lisa might be wondering the same thing." "What do you have, Abbs?" "A serious hatred of wax." "I think you look stressed." "I compared old victim's wax to over hundred different products." "Each was just one molecule different to the next." "Do you know small moleculars" "I do." "Shup up McGee." "I really like this new Abby." "And after many fun-packed hours of nothing but wax, I found a match." "Does that say "sex wax"?" "Yeah, it does." "It comes in cool warm and tropical." "How does it work?" "Don't worry about it, probie." "Pretty sure you still need a girl first." "It's not like that." "Mr Zogs sex wax is a brand name." "It's made for surfers." "Surfers?" "Yeah." "They put it on their board *****." "Hello, Kevin." "Oh, my friends from NCIS." "What do you know, boys?" "More that you'd like us to." "Come again." "We know about your relationship with Tiffany Jordan." "What relationship?" "Her and Lisa were friends." "I barely knew her." "Yeah well,****** taking photos ever." "You do that with all of Lisa's friends." "You lie need a work." "Look, fellas, it's not what you think." "Her and I, we hung out a couple of time." "You know, it was totally innocent." "She asked me to help take some photos for this magazine, so I helped her out." "Generous of you." "Lisa know about the photos?" "No, she didn't even know that Tiffany and I were friends." "Well, if nothing going on, why the big secret?" "Look, Lisa's very insecure." "Okay, I come home from a weekend surf tournament, she'd smell my clothes for perfume." "I even got her going through my email a couple of times." "Look at that, boss." "She's suffocating him and all he's doing is take a lingerie shots of her girlfriends." "It's not what you think." "I wasn't sleeping with Tiffany." "Good." "Then you won't mind submitting a DNA sample." "Why?" "You have the killer's DNA?" "Allright, fine." "You want me to take your test, I'll take your test." "I got nothing to hide." "We have a winner." "Tony, tell us what he's won." "Well Abby, he's won all the expensive vacation on the suny *****." "Keep your day job." "May not be an option." "What about his prints?" "I compared them to the prints that Tony and McGee got from the beach rest room." "They didn't jive." "He must have left it hundreds of prints." "You sure you ran them all?" "No, McGee, about midway through, I got tired, so I just like, "Screw it."" "Just thought I'd check." "Okay, so he didn't leave any prints-- all that proves is that he's more careful at a crime scene than he is in the bedroom." "I agreed to take a test." "I didn't agree to spend the whole night in this ny room." "This is a luxury suite compared to what you're looking at." "What are you talking about?" "You lied to us, Kev." "I don't know what you're talking about." "I didn't lie to you about anything." "You told us that you and Tiffany..." "What's going on?" "What is Kevin still doing here?" "Evidence leads us to believe he was involved in Tiffany's murder." "Oh, no, that's ridiculous." "He's not capable of killing anyone." "I got good news and I got bad news." "Which do you want to hear first?" "Tiffany was pregnant... and there is a 99.98% probability that you are the father." "Tiff was pregnant?" "I decided to go with the bad news." "He..." "I had no idea." "He cheated on me?" "I can't believe he cheated on me." "I..." "I've given him everything." "You never suspected?" "Why would I?" "She's my friend." "It'll be okay." "Get her a glass of water, McGee." "You bet." "I still don't believe he killed her." "I thought you said there was some good news." "Right, I almost forgot there is a, uh, ... chance that you're gonna walk out of here." "Hey, look, I..." "I screwed up, okay, I admit that, but I am not a killer." "The-the-the last time that I saw Tiff was right before we left, and we both decided that we'd end it then." "You're not a very reputable guy, Kev." "Why should we believe you?" "Because I'm telling you the truth." "You didn't have anything to do with this, why'd you avoid us?" "What are you talking about?" "I-I never avoid..." "We've been calling you for two days." "I left four messages on your cell phone." "He's lying." "He never left him any messages." "How do you know?" "Sure you don't want to call your lawyer?" "I didn't do ything wrong." "I just... want to get this over with." "It must've been a shock when you heard Tiffany's message." "No one would blame you for being angry." "I didn't listen to any message." "Okay?" "I wouldn't invade Kevin's privacy like that." "You didn't have any problem searching through his e-mail." "He told you that?" "We lifted your fingerprint from this glass." "It matches a print we found a few feet from Tiffany's body." "I think I'd like to call my lawyer now." "I think that's probably a... a good idea." "I thought you were leaving." "I'm on my way." "See you next week." "Try not to embarrass yourself, Tony." "Come on, Kate, I'm way too grown-up for that." "Go!" "Go!" "Go!" "Go!" "Go!" "Go!" "Go!" "Go!" "Go!" "Go!" "Go!" "Go!" "Go!" "Go!" "Yeah!" "Yeah!" "Yeah!" "You're pretty." "You're pretty." "I'm pretty." "I'm going to the hea" "I love this place." "Ah... yeah."

"I believe in you, Liz." "Stevens." "Brawler's ready, let's go." "Oh." "I'll see you all tonight, then." "Wish me luck." "We can't even be seen together!" "It's over." "I don't accept that." "Good luck, Liz." "Well, maybe that's it." "You never really trusted me." "I'm just a bit of rough trade." "Fuck off!" "I put it to you that your entire statement is a work of fiction." "Why did you lie?" "Were you coerced into this?" "They're going to charge you with perjury." "It carries a maximum sentence of 15 years." "I gave you a chance." "(PANTING)" "I can help you." " Ferguson didn't kill him." " _" "What?" "Who did, then?" "I thought the answer was in here, but it's not." "It's outside and there's jack shit I can do about it." "Today, justice has been served." "There's no escaping this place, is there?" "(FOOTSTEPS ECHOING)" "(THEME MUSIC)" "♪ You don't know me, when I don't know you ♪" "♪ You don't know me, when I don't know you ♪" "♪ You're calling me in." "You're catching me out ♪" "♪ You're calling me in." "You're catching me out ♪" "♪ You're calling me in." "You're catching me out ♪" "♪ You don't know me, when I don't know you ♪" "(GENTLE MUSIC)" " (WHOOSHING FLOURISH) - (ECHOING AUDIO)" "(HELEN LAUGHING)" " HELEN:" "Ooh." "Oops, sorry." " (BUZZING)" " I'm getting a bit pissy here." " (SONIA CHUCKLING)" "(SIGHS) That's okay." "It's a very brave thing you're doing." "(CLIPPER BUZZING INTENSIFIES)" "(FOREBODING SOUNDSCAPE)" "Do you want another glass?" "In a minute." "I'm nearly finished." "There." "Done." "Wanna take a look?" "I don't think so." "Just take a photo for Marion and I'll send it to her." "Cheer her up, poor love." " Oh, my God." " (CHUCKLES)" "Your hair will grow back." "And your sister will so appreciate the solidarity, hmm?" "God, I wish I could do more." "But the treatment has chewed up all our savings." "There's just nothing left." "You want more money... is that what you're saying?" "HELEN: (ECHOING) Well, we could certainly use it." "You know, I've been a very loyal friend to you." "I've kept your secret all these years." "I'm not giving you another cent." "HELEN:" "But poor Marion." "If poor Marion got a real job instead of trying to write that ridiculous novel..." "HELEN:" "Be careful." "I'll go to the... (ZINGING THUMPS)" "(THUDS)" "I don't respond well to blackmail." "(DARK STRINGS WITH PIANO ACCENTS)" "(LIGHTS FLICKING ON)" "But I don't understand." "What on earth possessed you to give false testimony?" "I just wanted an early release." "Well, you realise if you're convicted of this perjury charge, you'll have extra time added to your sentence?" "Oh, God, Liz!" "Right, well, you've only got yourself to blame." "(SIGHS SLOWLY)" "DOREEN:" "What if you say the police made you do it?" "Oh, no." "(SNIFFS) Nah, I can't do that, love." "Why not?" "It wouldn't be the first time they fitted someone up." "This is my fault." "(SIGHING)" "I have to deal with it." "Well, you better bloody hope none of the others find out." "(HUSHED) Oh, fuck!" "(DOOR BEEPS UNLOCKED)" "Yeah, Sonia didn't do it and now she's out." "Pity we're still stuck in here, but." "(SCOFFS) I can't believe she got off." "I mean, I always thought she did it." "Well, you'd be wrong, then, wouldn't ya?" "So much for that Witness X, eh?" "(SCOFFS)" "You don't think it was Maxie, do ya?" " No, Boomer." "I don't." " Nuh." "Who do you reckon it could have been?" "Dunno." "Biggest lagger ever." "Lagger and a liar." "Hey, you've seen Franky this morning?" "Nuh." "They've set a date for the committal hearing." "God, that was quick." "They're not dicking around, are they?" "I'm sorry, Franky." "I guess they think their case is airtight." "Look, I've been having a think about who would possibly benefit from Mike Pennisi's death." "Now, he would have got a huge compensation payout from that cooking show, for his injuries." "Yeah, well, I'm sure the agent would have filed a... a claim on his behalf." "So can you track that and find out how much he got?" "Possibly, but I don't see where you're go..." "There would be a beneficiary of his will, and maybe" " that person didn't wanna wait..." " Oh..." " till he died of natural causes." " Franky, Franky, the police would have gone over all of this." " You're clutching at straws." " But you could check with probate and find out the names of the beneficiaries and how much they got." "We don't have the resources for this, Franky, I'm sorry." "Come on!" "There would have been someone who stood to benefit from Mike Pennisi's death." "You could at least offer them an alternative suspect." "Fuck." "I could do it myself!" "Hey." " Hey." " What's up?" "Oh, date for my committal's been set." "Sooner than I thought." " (SIREN WHALES)" " ALLIE:" "Oh, shit." "Think the cops have a case?" "They're so sure I did it, they're not looking for anyone else." "(MOODY MUSIC)" "No, I'm going to have to get a lawyer," " 'cause I cannot cop..." " Liz." "any extra time on my sentence," " Don." "It'd kill me!" " Liz." " Liz, listen to me." " Oh, what?" "I can sort this with the DPP." "You don't need to get a lawyer." "I just need a couple of days" " to sort this." " Yeah, well, what about Sonia?" "She's out there." "She's free." " What if she comes after you?" " W-what's she gonna do?" " Bite my ankles?" "What..." " Oh, Don, please," " take it seriously." "She knows" " Okay, all right." "you had it in for her." " Yeah, I know that but..." " Yeah." "I'm not scared of Sonia." " I'm not worried about Sonia." " Oh, well, famous last words." "I'm gonna put a few things in motion." "And we're gonna get this sorted, okay?" "I'll be back here tomorrow with an update." " You don't need to panic." " Oh." "Just hang in there." "You've been so brave." "Just hang in there." "We're nearly there." " All right?" " Yeah." "(SIGHS)" "I'm hangin'." "(DOOR BEEPS UNLOCKED)" "MALE GUARD:" "Hey, Cath, have you looked at the latest roster?" " Birdsworth." "Got a message" " Yeah?" " to pass on to you from Stevens." " Sonia?" " She copped a lucky break, eh?" " Err..." "She wants you to give her a call." " Here's her number." " (WHOOSHING FLOURISH)" "(TENSE MUSIC)" "Put her on the call list." "You know the drill." "(ECHOING DRUM BEAT)" "(MUSIC ENDS)" " (SNIFFLES) - (INDISTINCT BACKGROUND CHATTER)" " LIZ:" "Shit." "Shit!" " (DOREEN SIGHS)" " What's the matter?" " (BREATHING SHAKILY) Oh." "Sonia." "She wants me to call her." "She must know I'm Witness X." " Hang on, how could she know that?" " Well, I don't know." "The cops must've leaked it." "But why else would she want to talk to me?" "(SIGHING) Plenty of reasons." "She thought you were her best friend." "Yeah, and we know what she does to them." "You've gotta make the call." " Are you nuts?" " Nuh." "'Cause if you don't call, she'll wonder why, and then she might figure it out." "(SIGHS)" "(TENSE MUSIC WITH SNARE DRUM BEATS)" "(MUSIC CONTINUES)" "ANNOUNCEMENT:" "Attention, compound." "Attention, compound." "All women to report to assigned work duties." "All women to report to assigned work duties." "(MUSIC ENDS)" "Doreen!" " Hi." " Hi." "Come in." "Thank you." "Come and have a seat." " What would you like to talk about?" " Um... first of all, I want to apologise for what I said, you know, last time." " I was upset and I really shouldn't" " Oh, no." " have spoken to you..." " No need." "No, look, this is a safe place." "You can express your frustrations." "So how can I help you?" "I want to apply for a transfer, to Perth." "Okay." "Have you weighed all of this up?" "I know I'll be back to square one there, with no friends, or crew." "I'll be on my own again." "It'll be tough." "Think you'll be able to cope?" "Well, the girls here have been like family to me." "I'll miss 'em, but..." "Josh and Nash are my real family now." "Okay." "Well, I'll organise the forms and write a recommendation for you." "Awesome." "Thank you." "Doesn't necessarily mean it'll happen automatically but, um, you know, you'll have to put your... your case before the board, in person." " You mean like a parole hearing?" " Mm-hm." "You'll be able to handle that?" "I'll have to, eh?" " Yeah?" "Okay. (CHUCKLES)" " Yeah. (CHUCKLES)" " (BOOMER LAUGHING)" " Whatever." "Yes!" "What?" "Oh, nasi goreng is my fav." " You serious?" " Yes!" "Eh, Miss Smiles, who's the (LOUDLY) spunk?" "!" "Emergency plumber, so your food doesn't go off." "Eugh, who could tell?" " BOOMER:" "Yeah." " DOREEN:" "Franky, Franky," " I need your help." " Yeah?" "I'm applying for a transfer and I've gotta present" " my case to the board." " Oh, Dors." " Yeah!" "Yeah." " Fuck's sake, are you goin' now, too?" "Hey, love, she wants to be with her little" " family." "Come on." "Come on." " Hey, Franky," " Franky." "You can use" " Yes, what?" "your legal skills to help me write something amazing." "Can you help me, please?" "All right, just chillax, will ya, ya cutie?" "Thank you!" "Lizzie, how's that dodgy ticker of yours?" " What?" " Heard you was in Medical most of the day yesterday." "Severe chest pain's what I heard." "Yeah, n-no, it was indigestion, love." "They did all the tests and everything, but they..." "they just said it was..." "Indigestion." "Yeah." "Can't say I'm surprised." "I reckon Juice is suss." " Juice?" " Mmm." " Nah, you're being paranoid." " Am I?" "Eugh!" " INMATE:" "Oh!" " That is fuckin' disgusting!" "I wouldn't feed this shit to pigs!" " (JEERING)" " It's shit!" "So it's not your favourite, then?" " INMATE:" "Disgusting!" " You are disgusting, Doyle." "Go and get a mop and clean that up now." "Oh, come on, Smiles." "You know it's shit!" " MILES:" "Now!" " It's shit!" "It's shit!" "ALL:" "Shit!" "Shit!" " Shit!" "Shit!" "Shit!" "Shit!" " It's shit!" "It's shit!" "It's shit" "Shit!" "Shit!" "Shit!" "Shit!" "Shit!" "Shit!" "Shit!" "Shit!" "Shit!" "Shit!" "Shit!" "Shit!" "Shit!" "Shit!" "Shit!" "Shut up, the lot of you, unless you want to go to the slot!" "How big's your slot?" "!" "(LAUGHTER ERUPTS)" "(TENSE MUSIC WITH SNARE DRUM BEATS)" "What are you waiting for, Doyle?" "!" "(JEERING SUBSIDES)" "(MUSIC CONTINUES)" "(MUSIC ENDS)" "(CALLING TONE)" "(SIGHS)" " (CALLING TONE CONTINUES) - (LINE CONNECTS)" " SONIA: (OVER PHONE) Hello?" " Oh." "S-Sonia, it's Liz." "Liz!" "I'm so glad you called." "You got my message, obviously." "Er, ah, yes, yeah." "(OVER PHONE) I just couldn't wait to tell you the good news." "I have been completely vindicated." "All charges dropped." "Oh, wow, that's..." "That's amazing." "I m..." "I mean, you deserve it." "Er... congratulations." "And you'll never guess." "You know that mystery witness I was so worried about?" "Y-yeah?" "(OVER PHONE) Just as I said, liars always come undone in the end." " Oh." " Completely fell apart in the witness box, my barrister said." "He decimated her." "Reduced her to a blithering idiot, by all accounts, although he claims it wasn't that difficult." "(CHUCKLES)" "Oh, I'm really happy for you, Sonia." "(OVER PHONE) Thank you." "I knew you would be." "So, I thought I would come by and visit..." "No." "No, no," "I-I don't reckon that's a good idea." "(OVER PHONE) I mean, you... you don't belong in this world, Sonia." "You know, you should... you should get on with your life, and... put it all behind ya." "You know, forget about this place." "Oh." "Well, I do see what you mean, I..." "I suppose." "You're right." "But..." "Oh, dear, what a shame." "There's someone at the door." "I have to go." "No, that's okay." "That..." "that's perfectly fine." "Now, make sure you come and see me when you're released." "I will look after you." "Great." "Thanks, Sonia." "(OVER PHONE) Bye for now, Liz." "Bye." "Bye." "(SIGHS DEEPLY)" "(SIGHS)" "Did you come alone or did you bring the force with you?" " (CHUCKLES) Cute." " (SONIA CHUCKLES)" "(DRAMATIC MUSIC)" "(MUSIC ENDS)" "I've just had a call from the tradesman who was here yesterday." "He wants my number?" "He called to report a missing shifting spanner." "It's possible one of the prisoners has stolen it." "Cell lockdown or cell toss straight after breakfast?" "You read my mind, Mr Jackson." "If it is in this prison, I want that shifter found, preferably before it's used to part someone's hair." "So, any leads on whether it was malicious damage to the tap?" "Ah, the CCTV showed nothing, Governor." "All right, that's it. (SIGHS)" " Um, Bridget?" " Mmm?" "Just so you know, I've shut down that business with Ferguson." "(HUSHED) I appreciate that." "And thank you for what you said to the Ombudsman." "I've decided to, ah, keep my distance" " (WHISPERED) from Franky." " (MELANCHOLY MUSIC)" "You know a lot of women here rely on you." "Myself included." "(MUSIC ENDS)" "Heads up, Mercado." "There's going to be a cell toss" " any minute." " Shit!" "If you're holding, you'd better get rid of it." "There's not much left after Proctor cleaned me out." " I lost big time." " You have to write it off." " You'll have to bring in more gear." " No, not now." "It's too hot in the kitchen." "Well, I can't leave work unit now." "So get pinged." "Don't say I didn't warn you." " Get my stash." " What?" " Hold it for me." " Jesus Christ!" "You wanna keep doing business or not?" "(URGENT MUSIC )" "(MUSIC INTENSIFIES)" " GUARD:" "G'day, Jake." "How're you going?" " G'day, fellas." "Fuck!" " (MUSIC ENDS) - (DON MURMURS IN SLEEP)" " (TENSE MUSIC) - (DON SNORES GENTLY)" "(WHOOSHING FLOURISH)" "(SONIA HUMMING TO HERSELF)" "(SIGHS AND CONTINUES HUMMING)" "Hm!" "(SIGHS DEEPLY)" "(INHALES AND EXHALES)" "(PHONE BEEPS)" " Don." "It's me." " Hi, Sonia." "Listen, um, I'm in a bit of a pickle here." " What's wrong?" " I'm going to need your help." " (MUSIC ENDS) - (DON BREATHES DEEPLY)" "Mmmm." "(EXHALES)" "(GRUNTING)" "(INHALES) How'd you sleep?" "(CHUCKLES) Extremely well, thanks to my little helpers." "Oh, thank God I'm back in the free world." " I prefer alcohol." " I noticed." " Well, we were celebrating." " Yes." "I s'pose you got your future all mapped out now you've got me off the hook." "You bet. (SIGHS DEEPLY)" "Gonna apply for stress leave, then resign. (CHUCKLES)" "Collect my super, buy a bar somewhere... on a beach, and just live happily ever after. (CHUCKLES)" " You have worked it all out." " Mmm." "You could come with me." "Do you really think our relationship's the sentimental kind?" "(PHONE VIBRATING)" " (DON SIGHS) - (PHONE CONTINUES TO VIBRATE)" "VOICE-MAIL MESSAGE:" "You've reached Don Kaplan." "I'm not available at the moment but if the matter's urgent, please leave me a detailed message at the tone." "(BEEP)" "Don, uh, it's Liz." "Birdsworth." "Um, I'm just wondering if there's any news." "Any... anyway, I'll try you again later." "Well, why didn't you answer it?" "Are you embarrassed?" "(CHUCKLES)" "I've got nothin' to say to her." "Oh, I can just imagine what fantasies you've been concocting for the silly old cow." "(CHUCKLES)" "Without that silly old cow, you would have been screwed." "I think you've got a bit of a soft spot for her." "Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho." "I played her, that's all." "And you'll pay me." "That was the deal." "DON:" "Mmm." "Tonight." "I'll have your money for you." "We'll make a night of it." "(BIRDS TWITTERING IN BACKGROUND)" "ANNOUNCEMENT:" "Attention, compound." "Attention, compound." "All prisoners return to your cells." "Hey, Allie." " Can you come here for a sec?" " What's up?" "I gotta ask you something." "It's huge." "Come on." "Okay, ladies... standing outside your cells." "This is a cell toss." " Let's go, please!" " Morning, Mr Jackson." "Oh, I see you haven't got your pips back yet." "Oh, I will, and then things will change around here, Proctor." "What are you talking about?" "Are you on drugs?" "Come on, let's go." "Let's go, ladies, come on!" "Novak, what are you still doing here?" " Sorry, Mr J. I'm going." " Thank you." "So, exactly what is gonna change?" "You've just been demoted, numb nuts." "Proctor, you can stand there and act like a child, or you can be a great leader and be part of the solution." "I don't think I want to be a part of anything that you've got going on." "Oh, your choice." "It'll get done, with or without you." "MALE GUARD:" "Come on, ladies, move on." "MILES:" "All prisoners out of their cells!" "Standing by your doors, please." "INMATE:" "The system is corrupt." "FERGUSON:" "Ms Miles?" "What is it, Ferguson?" "That, um, tradesman who was here yesterday." "What about him?" "I believe he shared a hot tip for Kyneton today with a number of your colleagues." " Did he mention it to you?" " No." " INMATE:" "What are you lookin' at, scab?" " What was it?" "Oh, what was it?" "It was, um, something like, um, Furphy?" "Don't waste my time, Ferguson." "Gambaro!" "Come out now." "And don't make me come in there and haul you out." "Ms Miles." "(INDISTINCT DISCONTENT FROM INMATES)" "GUARD:" "Nothing here." "(INDISTINCT BACKGROUND CHATTER)" "GUARD:" "Ah, don't worry I've looked in there already." "Nah, it's all clear." "(TENSE MUSIC)" "Ahh!" "Just watch my arm." " Anything, guys?" " Nah." "All clear in here." "All right, let's go." "FEMALE GUARD:" "H Block search all clear." "(TENSE MUSIC INTENSIFIES)" "(MUSIC ENDS)" "We didn't find the missing shifter in the cell toss, but we didn't come up completely empty-handed." "Liquid nicotine." "Clearly, we need to step up our security measures." "ANNOUNCEMENT:" "Attention, compound." " Prisoners may now leave their unit." " Hey!" "Lockdown's over." "Yeah, I know." "So I want my shifter back." "What?" "No, "Oh, thanks, Allie," ""for risking a fuckin' fortnight in the slot for me."" "I'm sorry, there was no time to explain." "Well, there's time now." " Just give it back." " No." "Not until you tell me what the fuck is going on." " What if I don't want to?" " Then you don't get your shifter back." "Bullshit!" "Come on, give it back!" "Ow, ow!" "Fuck!" "Ahh, shit!" "Get off!" "Fuck!" " Jeez, you're hurting my arm." " I don't care." " Get out!" "Fuck!" "It's not in there." " Where is it then?" "!" "Do you want a Chinese burn?" "(SCOFFING LAUGH)" "Fuck, I'm not kidding!" " I'm fuckin' not..." " Ahh, fuck!" "Ow!" "Fuck!" "(BOTH LAUGHING)" "Oh!" " (BOTH CHUCKLING) - (GENTLE MUSIC)" "Thanks." "I appreciate what you did." "So, are you gonna tell me or not?" "Nuh." "(MUSIC ENDS)" "So, what's your game, Freak?" "Why'd you help me out?" "(INHALES) Consider it prisoner solidarity." "(SCOFFS) Get fucked." "You know, we might be in here for quite a while together." "Don't you think it's time we buried the hatchet?" "I'll bury it in your back, Fergo." "I don't want you as an enemy, Lucy." "I would prefer you as an ally." "And I'd prefer you to fuck off." "Was that the last of your stash, was it?" "So what if it was?" "Better enjoy it." "With Vera Bennett and Kaz Proctor joining forces, life's about to get a whole lot more boring in here." "What do you care?" "I know there's a way around the problem." " What?" " What do you think you're doing?" "Luce and I were just havin' a friendly chat." "It's not that hard, Juice." "Stay away from ghosts." "Go on." "Get lost." "(DOORBELL RINGS)" "Started without me, eh?" "I told you, I intend to make a night of it." "A toast, to my brilliant detective. (CHUCKLES)" "You know, I always thought you were wasted on the police." "It's true." "Just a couple of little details I don't quite understand." "Uh!" "You want me to give away all my secrets?" "(LAUGHS) Don't worry, I've more than fulfilled my end of the bargain." "So where's the money?" "You don't trust me?" "(LAUGHING)" "(SNIFFS DEEPLY)" "Mmmm." "I just like the smell of money with my champagne." "You know, my barrister told me that Helen's phone was found in Sassafras on the morning of Liz's testimony." "Remarkable." "(CHUCKLES)" "Yeah, they say it's lovely up there this time of year." "(HUSHED) Mmm." "I see." "(SIGHING) Well, I s'pose it's a good idea to tie up all the loose ends." " Yep, that's true." " (TENSE MUSIC)" "Now, the money was only part of our agreement." "(WHOOSHING FLOURISH)" "(ECHOING DRUM BEATS)" "(ECHOING DOOR OPENING)" "(WARPED VOICE) The DPP intend to charge you with the murder of Helen Masters." "(WARPED VOICE) Can you help me?" "They've got a lot of compelling evidence." "Well, you need to pull some strings." "You're going to be remanded to Wentworth." "Don, that is simply not an option, all right?" "Unless I can find a way to subvert the trial." "Thank you." "(HUSHED) But I'm not going to fuck my entire career" " for nothing." " No, no, of course not." "When this is over, I'll make it worth your while." "I'm not greedy." "Thank you." "There's one more thing I want." "A sweetener to the deal." "What do you mean?" "I want to know what really happened to your husband." "(LAUGHING)" "You know I can't tell you that." "I know you did it, I just don't know how, or why." "You had a charmed life with the guy." " Successful business..." " Geoffrey was a gambling, womanising arsehole." "I was the one who brought that company up to what it is today." " With your blood, sweat and tears?" " That's right." "All he did was take the credit." "So you killed him?" "What is this, the last resort of a frustrated investigation?" "Is that why you started fucking me?" "It's pretty obvious what happened." "Helen was your alibi the night your husband disappeared." "She knew about the murder." "Now she's gone, too." "Was she blackmailing you with that?" "You have your money." "Stop badgering me." "(LAUGHING) I'm sorry, I must be getting drunk." "(CHUCKLES)" "It's just that I need a bit of insurance, too." " What insurance?" " Well, you could ruin me." "Oh, come on." "You know about Helen." "That doesn't count." "I'd be implicating myself, wouldn't I?" "So tell me... what'd you do with your husband?" "(OMINOUS MUSIC)" "All right." "Come for a drive." "I'll show you." "(MUSIC ENDS)" "So that was your move, to get me in the shit with Kaz." "You're not intimidated by that... toothless tiger." "She'll never raise a hand against a woman." "There are other ways to fuck with us." "You should know." "Well, perhaps that's why you should listen to my proposal." "Don't you want to take back what Kaz has taken away?" "Hey, Franky, is this a good time?" "You said you'd help me with my transfer application." "Yeah, I need a break." "Going round in circles." "Sit down." "That's the application form I've gotta fill in." "So, just do it." "It's piss-easy." "(SIGHS) I don't know what I'm going to say to the board." "I've never been very good at public speaking." "Well, you don't think of it like that." "It's just... you, talkin' from the heart, about what's important to ya." " I'm scared, Franky." "I'm scared" " Hey, listen." " I'm gonna fuck it up!" " Just fuckin' listen up, all right?" "You got a chance to get out of here." "You just grab it." "You don't even hesitate." "You fuckin' see that chance, even if it's a long shot, you take that risk, 'cause you got everythin' to gain and nothin' to lose." "(GENTLE MUSIC)" "(MUSIC ENDS)" "(TENSE MUSIC)" "(LONG EXHALE)" "Feeling all right?" "Oh, I'm just a bit... tired, that's all." " (MUSIC ENDS) - (KNOCKING)" "Come in." " Governor, got Doyle for you." " Okay." "Come in, Doyle." "Thank you, Mr Jackson." "We'll have to make this quick." "It's almost lockdown." "Oh, yeah, thanks for seeing' me." "What do you want?" "I'm going crazy working in the laundry." "All that politics is doing my head in." "I have thought the laundry isn't ideal for a prisoner of your potential." "So, can I switch details?" "Well, you've helped fellow inmates with their legal issues from time to time." "How about we make that official?" "Your own work unit, in the education centre, as prisoner advocate." "Nah, I was more thinkin', ah, workin' in the outdoor unit." "I'm just desperate to get into the open air." "Oh, really?" "(CHUCKLES)" "Yeah, I feel like I'm really cooped up in here, not walking around like a normal person." " I feel like I'm getting anxious." " Well, surely that's not a surprise." "Why, 'cause I'm back in prison after a taste of freedom?" "Yes." "I haven't been convicted yet, Miss Bennett." "I am aware of that, Doyle..." "And I plan to prove my innocence in court." "All right." "You can start on the grounds detail as of tomorrow." "Thanks." "(TENSE MUSIC)" "Where are we?" "Nearly there." "(EXHALES) Oh." "(SLURS) Feel a bit woozy." "Well, just sit back." "Relax." "Not long now." "No, I just... it's just..." "so, I... feel woozy..." "Hmm." "(INHALES) You wanted to know what happened to my husband." "(MUSIC ENDING)" " ANNOUNCEMENT:" "Attention, compound." " VOICE-MAIL:" "You've reached Don" " A lockdown is now in force." " Kaplan..." " All prisoners must return" " If the matter's urgent, please leave" " to their units immediately." " a detailed message at the tone." "Don, it's Liz." "Look, I-I left a message earlier and I'm just a bit worried 'cause I haven't been able to..." " Birdsworth." " Jesus, Mr Stewart!" "You just gave me a heart attack." "Lockdown's been called." "Hang up now, please." " Yeah, well, can I just..." " Come on, let's go." "(TENSE MUSIC)" "(FROGS CROAKING)" "(ENGINE STOPS)" "(DOOR THUDS)" "(HUMMING "TEDDY BEARS PICNIC" TO HERSELF)" "(GASPS)" " (THUD)" " Ooh!" "I knew the drink was spiked." "You bitch!" "(MUSIC ENDS)" "(WINCES)" "Ow." "(OMINOUS FLOURISH)" "(FROGS CONTINUE CROAKING)" "(ATMOSPHERIC MUSIC)" "(MORNING BIRDS TWEETING)" "(BREATHING HEAVILY)" "(VEHICLE APPROACHING)" "(WHOOSHING FLOURISH)" "_" "(TRAIN CROSSING BELLS RINGING IN DISTANCE)" "(DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE)" "(DOG PANTING)" "Shit!" "(EXHALES SHARPLY)" "(KNOCKING)" "(STEWART CHUCKLING)" "You, uh... you lost something?" "No, uh, just dropped my keys. (SNIFFS)" "The CSDS are here?" "Yeah, Governor's going hard on the drug problem." "There's gonna be a dog at the entrance for the rest of the week." "STEWART:" "Huh." "What, she didn't tell you?" "Yeah." "Yeah, no." "No, of course she did. (CHUCKLES)" "Yeah." "(SIGHS DEEPLY)" "He said he'd be in contact yesterday with an update on my charges and I have..." "I haven't heard from him." "Okay." "Well, maybe if you call and leave a message." "Yeah, I have." "I tried, several times, I..." "yesterday and this morning and he... he's not picking up and it's really not like him." "All right, well, he's probably very busy." "He'll call when he has" " news. (SIGHS)" " Please." "Please, could you just make contact with him at police" " headquarters on my behalf?" " Oh, Liz, no, I don't think..." " It's really not..." " He wouldn't... he wouldn't do this" " to me." " I think you're overreacting." "No, I'm not." "He... he wouldn't leave me hanging unless something' bad had happened." "Please." " G'day, Smiles." " MILES:" "Good day." " BOOMER:" "Miss Miles." " MILES:" "Mm-hmm." "Look around, ladies." "You don't see anyone off their faces today, do ya?" "(GATE LOCK BEEPS AND CLUNKS OPEN)" "Nuh." "Proctor." "Oh-oh." "Do you want some play money for the track today, Smiles?" "Depends." "Why did Jackson lose the deputy governorship?" "Big night." "Positive piss test." "Is that all?" " No, he's an axe murderer." " Ha, ha, ha." "(GATE LOCK BEEPS AND CLUNKS OPEN)" "Gettin' too hot to bring drugs in?" "(CLICKS MOUTH)" "What you need is an alternative conduit." "Yeah, thanks for that, Captain Obvious." "As it happens, I have a solution." "What is it?" "(CLICKS MOUTH) Not so fast." "Send Tina to me first." "Since when's Franky been on garden detail?" "(DRAMATIC MUSIC)" "I dunno." "(BIRDS TWITTERING)" "(DRAMATIC MUSIC CONTINUES)" "(DOOR BEEPS UNLOCKED)" "(INHALES SHARPLY)" "(DRAMATIC MUSIC INTENSIFIES)" "(LOW ECHOING BOOM)" "(POLICE SIRENS)" "(MUFFLED POLICE RADIO CHATTER)" "MALE DETECTIVE:" "Sonia Stevens?" "You're wanted for questioning regarding the disappearance of your husband." "(FORCEFUL KNOCKING)" "There's been some new information." "We're sending divers down to a lake in South Gippsland to search for human remains, believed to be those of Geoffrey Stevens." "(MUSIC ENDS)" "Yeah, I understand." "Thank you, Officer." "W-what'd they say?" "Uh, it appears Detective Kaplan has taken stress leave." " For how long?" " They didn't say." "Where... where does that leave me?" " (PHONE RINGS)" " Just... (SIGHS)" "Governor Bennett." "Could you hold for a moment, please?" "I am sorry, Liz, I have to take this call." " (KNOCKING)" " Oh, good." "Could you, uh, take Birdsworth back to her unit, please?" "Sure." "Um... you never mentioned you'd called in the CSDS." "Ahh, yes, sorry." "It was, ah, last night after you'd left." "Will convinced me it was necessary." "(WHISPERED) Ah..." "Mr Stewart said you wanted to see me." "Time's up on my offer." "I'm here." "So you are." "(INHALES) But now the situation is a little more fluid." "Fluid?" "What the fuck are you talking about?" "Now there is a catch." "What?" "A third party's involved." "Now, I called you here because you're all stakeholders in this business." "Buyers and sellers together." "You're all aware of the problem." "I hold the solution." "A new drug conduit." "You can get as rich and/or as high as you like and not have to answer to Kaz... or the management." " Okay, we're listening." " (OMINOUS MUSIC)" "But what's in it for you?" "Partnership." "ANNOUNCEMENT:" "Attention, compound." "Attention, compound." "The canteen is now open till 8:00 o'clock." "What the fuck are you doing in here?" "Are you stalking me now?" "I know that you got something going on." "Oh, well, everyone's got something goin' on." "Everyone's working some angle." "No, it's more than that." "I can tell it's something big." "Okay, fine." "Now fuck off and let me get changed." "You were there for me when..." "Bea brought us together for a reason." "I really believe that." "Whatever it is you're doing, I wanna help you." "(HUSHED) Well, you can't help." " Why not?" "You can trust..." " Shh!" "Keep your voice down, you understand?" "Or I am dead." "Now, you can't help me." "You're gonna escape?" " Listen..." " Fuck, Franky, that is crazy." " I gotta clear my name." " You will get caught!" "Shut the fuck up!" "(HUSHED) You are gonna get caught and it'll make it a whole lot worse for your case." "If the police find" " the real killer then you're only..." " The police won't find" "Mike Pennisi's killer 'cause they're fuckin' not looking." " (TENSE MUSIC)" " But the killer is out there." "_" "(MUSIC INTENSIFYING)" "(INDISTINCT BACKGROUND CHATTER)" "(LOW RUMBLING FLOURISH)" "(DOOR UNLOCKS)" "(DRUM BEATS)" "(MUSIC ENDS)" "Tuesday 08:30." "There has to be an officer involved." "Think about it." "PROCTOR:" "How could be drugs be rife so soon after your crackdown?" "Hey, you know how you said you wanted to help me out?" "Got something for you to do." " There's been an accident." " (SIRENS BLARING)" "BRIDGET:" "Tell me you had nothing to do with it." "Wentworth, Tuesday 08:30 on showcase."

"Prince Nuada we are honored with your return" "It will be a pleasure to kill you" "Please, my friend give it to me" "Father" "Why?" "Why have you done this?" "Why?" "WHY!" "You break an old rule between our people and the humans" "What the humans do it's in their nature honour the deal, as we have done" "The Golden Army!" "You can't be that crazy" "Wake up the army?" "...but our fields will be flooded with blood." "Let the army to rest" "If our end is near let us walk." "For the last time I ask you, my son..." "Is this the path you want to take?" "Then, you leave me no choice" "Death!" "I always loved you, father" "Fresh fish" "Buy your fresh fish..." "Wink is dead." "I will kill the giant red man" "Is there something you want to tell me?" "Hello there" "Hey, stop!" "In the market..." "Wink is dead" "You're here" "Is that the way you got to him?" "Don't Do it"

"Hey, Sheriff." "("Chair scraping on floor)" "A Mercury is a real good car." "That was the car I was driving that day." "I have a lot of cars." "Yeah." "Different kinds." "A lot of different kinds of cars." "She was standing, this girl, on the side of the street where there was this chicken stand." "It wasn't the Colonel, but it was a chicken stand nevertheless." "And I pulled the Mercury right up alongside and I rolled down the window, see, by electric power." "And she had this leather skirt on." "And she had a lot of hair on her arms." "I like hair, I like hair a lot." "It means a big bush." "I like a big bush." "So she says, "Are you dating?" You know?" "I said, "Sure." So she gets in." "And we pull off into this remote location, you know, that was comfortable for both she and I." "And she says to me, "How much do you wanna spend?"" "And I said, "Whatever it takes to see that bush of yours, 'cause I know it's a big one."" "And she says to me, "25 dollars."" "That's not chicken feed, you know... to a working man." "So I produce the 25 dollars and she sticks it down into her shoe and pulls up her skirt." "And there before me lay this thin, crooked, uncircumcised penis." "You can imagine how bad I wanted my 25 dollars back, huh?" "("Girl) I don't know why you're so weirded out." "This is not San Quentin." "It's just a nut house." "Most of these people don't even know where they are." "They're not gonna hurt you." "In a few minutes, we're gonna be in a room with a killer." "That doesn't bother you?" "Hey, you're the one that wanted to major in journalism." "These are the people from that newspaper deal." " Oh, yeah." "From the college?" " Yes, sir." " I'm Jerry Woolridge." " Nice to meet you." "I'm Marsha Dwiggins and this is Theresa Evans." "She's here to take the pictures." "Y'all sit down." "Yeah, there was a young man named John Legit Hunter who was in the filling station business - a good filling station business." "But he was one of these young men we run across in life," "I'm sure you've run across 'em, who didn't deserve what he had, you know?" "And one of the things he had was this... beautiful young bride," "Sarah." "She was a Georgia peach." "In fact, she was more like the picture I had in my mind than any woman I'd ever seen." "So I took it upon myself to take her away from John Legit Hunter, who did not deserve her, you know?" "Oh, I don't know if I told you, but he was a Frenchman who claimed to be an Englishman." "Yeah..." "Took a lot of strong nylon cord to get her away from him, 'cause she was a fighter as well as being a Georgia peach." "I think there must have been a little mix-up." "I talked to your sponsor or teacher, or whoever he is, and I told him that there couldn't be any pictures." "It's supposed to be like an article or a story, something like that, isn't that right?" "Well, yeah, it's for the school newspaper, but it has pictures." "I mean, it's a regular paper, you know?" "Karl's real sensitive about having his picture made." "He wouldn't even be on the bulletin board for the Easter collage." "Now... a shovel just makes too goddamn much racket." "All I can do is talk to him, see what he says." "You gotta make something explode to truly understand it." "I mean, you gotta examine all those little tiny particles while they're still on fire." "("Guard) Karl, I've gotta take you down to the old classroom." "Mr. Woolridge has some people for you to see down there." "Come on, let's go." "You remember me telling you about those people from that newspaper?" "They wanna ask you some questions about your release." "They think it'll make a good story." "Will you talk to 'em?" "Get interviewed?" " Now, they're women." " ("Guard snorts.)" "I think it'd be good for you, too." "You're gonna be seeing all kinds of people when you get on the outside." "This'll help, I believe." "Now, here's the thing." "He'll only talk to you, but he doesn't want you to ask him anything." "And you really shouldn't stare at him." "How am I going to conduct an interview if I can't ask him any questions?" "It's the best it's gonna get." "I'm sorry." "Can I ask you a question?" "If he's so troubled, why are you letting him out?" "What if he does it again?" "It happens all the time." "He's free, his time's up." "That's the rules." "He's been treated and reevaluated and doesn't show any signs anymore." " Signs?" " Homicidal signs." "Oh, Miss." "I'm sorry, but you're gonna have to step outside." "Why?" "Please?" "I gotta change the light in here for Karl." "I hope you can still see to write." "I reckon what you is wanting to know is what I'm a-doin' in here." "I reckon the reason I'm in here is 'cause I've killed somebody." "Mm-hm." "But I reckon what you is a-wantin' to know is how come me to kill somebody, so I reckon I'll start at the front and tell you." "I lived out the back of my mother and father's place most of my life, in a little old shed that my daddy had built for me." "They didn't too much want me up there in the house with the rest of 'em." "So mostly, I just sat around out there in the shed, a-lookin' at the ground." "I didn't have no floor out there." "But I had me a hole dug out to lay down in." "A quilt or two to put down there." "Mm-hm." "My father was a hardworking man most of his life." "Not that I can say the same for myself." "I mostly just sat around out there in the shed, tinkered around with a lawn mower or two." "Went to school off and on from time to time." "But the children out there, they were very cruel to me." "Made quite a bit of sport of me." "Made fun of me quite a bit." "So mostly, I just sat around out there in the shed." "My daddy worked down there at the saw mill, down at the planer mill for an old man named Dixon." "Old man Dixon was a very cruel fella." "Didn't treat his employees very well." "Didn't pay 'em too much of a wage." "Didn't pay my daddy too much of a wage." "Just barely enough to get by on, I reckon." "But I reckon he got by all right." "They used to come out, one or the other of 'em, usually my mother, feed me pretty regular." "Though I know he made enough to where I could have mustard and biscuits three or four times a week." "But old man Dixon, he had a boy." "His name was Jesse Dixon." "Jesse was really more cruel than his daddy was." "He used to make quite a bit of sport of me when I was down there at the schoolhouse." "He used to take advantage of little girls there in the neighborhood an' all." "He used to say that my mother was a very pretty woman." "He said that quite a bit from time to time when I'd be down there at the schoolhouse." "Well..." "I reckon you want me to get on with it and tell you what happened, so I reckon I'll tell you." "I was sittin' out there in the shed one evening, not doing too much of nothing, just kinda staring at the wall, waiting on my mother to come out and give me my Bible lesson." "Well, I heard a commotion up there in the house." "So I run up on the screened-in porch to see what was a-goin' on." "I looked in the window there and I seen my mother laying on the floor, without any clothes on." "Mm-hm." "I seen Jesse Dixon a-layin' on top of her." "He was having his way with her." "Well, I just seen red." "I picked up a Kaiser blade that was sitting there by the screen door." "Some folks call it a sling blade, I call it a Kaiser blade." "It's got a long wood handle, kind of like an axe handle." "With a long blade on it shaped kind of like a banana." "Mm-hm." "Sharp on one edge and dull on the other." "It's what the highway boys use to cut down weeds and whatnot." "Well, I went in there in the house, and I hit Jesse Dixon upside the head with it, knocked him off my mother." "I reckon that didn't quite satisfy me." "So I hit him again with it in the neck with the sharp edge and just plumb near cut his head off, killed him." "My mother, she jumped up from there and started hollerin':" ""What did you kill Jesse for?" "What did you kill Jesse for?"" "Well..." "Come to find out I don't reckon my mother minded what Jesse was a-doin' to her." "I reckon that made me madder than what Jesse had made me." "So I taken the Kaiser blade, some folks call it a sling blade, I call it a Kaiser blade," "and I hit my mother upside the head with it." "Killed her." "Some folks has asked me:" ""If you had it to do over again, would you do it the same way?"" "Well, I reckon I would." "Anyhow, they seen fit to put me in here, and here I've been for a great long while." "I've learned to read some." "Took me four years to read the Bible." "I reckon I understand a great deal of it." "Wasn't what I expected in some places." "I've slept in a good bed for a great long while." "Now they've seen fit to put me out of here." "They say they're setting me free today." "Anyhow, I reckon that's all you'd need to know." "If you wanna hear about more details, I reckon I can tell 'em to you." "I don't know whether or not that's enough for your newspaper or not." "Mm-hm." "("Marsha.) Will you ever kill anybody again, Karl?" "I don't reckon I've got no reason to kill nobody." " Where will he go?" " Anywhere he wants to." "I think he's going back to Millsberg, where he's from." " It's just about 20 miles from here." " Will he be supervised?" "As much as anybody else is, I guess." "Y'all have a real nice rest of the day, now." "I'll get Melvin to walk y'all out." "Melvin, could you walk these girls out, please?" "Thank you." "Thank you." "I reckon I'm gonna have to get used to looking at purdy people." "Mm-hm." "I guess you will." "I reckon I'm gonna have to get used to them looking at me, too." "Better go get your things." "I ain't got nothing but them books." "Better go get 'em." "All right, then." "All right, then." "Can I help you, sir?" "Can I help you, sir?" "I was kindly wanting something or other to eat." "Mm-hm." "Well, what would you like?" "You got any biscuits for sale in there?" "No, this here's a Frostee Cream." "We don't serve biscuits." " We got a lot of other stuff, though." " What you got in there that's good to eat?" "Well, we got Big Chief burgers, Bongo burgers, Footlongs, Corny Dogs," "Frostee Shakes, Creamy Bars." "Did you want me to go through the whole list?" "Reckon what do you like to eat in there?" "Well..." "The French fries are pretty good." " French-fried potatoes?" " Yep, French fries." "How much you want for 'em?" "Well, they're 60 for the medium and 75 for the large." "I reckon I'll have me some of the big 'uns." "All right, then." "One large French fries." "These darn things are heavy." "Hard to carry, too." " What you got in there, wash?" " Yeah." "Ain't you got no mom and daddy to tend to it?" "I got a momma." "She's at work over at Hoochy's Dollar Store." "Daddy's dead." "He got hit by a train." "How far are you going with them sacks full of wash?" "Half a mile, I think it is." "I can help you tote it if I don't give out first." "OK, but you don't have to." "All right, then." "My name's Frank Wheatley." "What's your name?" "Karl's my name." " What's your last name?" " Childers." "What are all them books?" "All different ones." "One of 'em's the Bible, one of 'em's a book on Christmas, one of 'em's on how to be a carpenter." " Why do you carry them around with you?" " I ain't got no place to set 'em down." "Don't you live somewhere?" "Did live up there in the state hospital." " Why did you live there?" " I killed some folks quite a while back." "They said I wasn't right in the head, so they put me there in the nervous hospital instead of putting me in jail." " They let you out?" " Yeah." " How come?" " They told me I was well." "Had to turn me loose." " Well, are you well?" " I reckon I feel all right." "This here's my house." "You don't seem like you'd kill nobody." "We can just set these bags on the porch." "All right, then." "You like to play football?" "I never was no account at it." "I never did get picked out for it." "Well, me and the Burnett twins and some boys play at the junior high school field all the time." "If you wanna play, you can come on over, 'cause we ain't no good either." " Well, I'll see you later." " All right, then." "Karl." "Hon, you can't just go in there." "Karl, what in the world are you doing here?" "I wanna come back and stay in here." "You can't do that." "You're a free man." "They let you out so you can do as you please." "I reckon I don't care nothing about being a free man." "I don't know how to go about it." "Mm-hm." "Well, you're gonna have to learn." "It'll take some time." "Don't you have anybody down there to help you out?" "No, sir." "Well, your daddy was living down there the last time I heard." "I guess he wouldn't want to help you out any, would he?" "Sorry, I wasn't thinking." "Don't you have anybody?" "No, sir." "Never did know too much of nobody down there." "Not to be helping me out no way." "Mm-hm." "Look, Karl, the truth is, I don't know where they expect you to go, and I don't know what they expect you to do." "If it was up to me, you could come back here and stay if you wanted to." "I'm just trying to do my job." "You follow me?" "Listen, Karl." "I know an old boy who's got a fix-it shop deal in Millsberg." "He used to go to church with me." "You're good working on small engines and things." "If I was to put my neck out for you with him, do you think you could work it if he'll hire you?" "I'm pretty handy, I reckon, on lawn mowers and whatnot." "Mm-hm." "I know you are, I've seen it myself." " Could you give it a try?" " I reckon." "Now, I..." "I can't promise you that he'll hire you." "I'll have to tell him about your history." "I never was no good with history." "Mm-hm." "No." "I mean your past." "Why you were in here." "I'll take you down first thing in the morning." "You don't have anywhere you could stay tonight at all?" " No, sir." " Well, you can't stay here." "It's against the rules." "If something was to happen, I'd be liable." "I reckon I can just walk around till morning time." "And sit and read a book somewheres." "Mm-hm." "Karl, would you like a muffin?" "No, thank you." "I understand Jerry's gonna take you someplace else tomorrow." "I don't reckon I know nobody named Jerry." "She's talking about me, Karl." "That's my first name." "He's carrying me to look for work down in Millsberg, where I was born." "Mm-hm." "Would you like some coffee?" "Coffee makes me a mite nervous when I drink it." "Daddy, can I be excused to go to bed?" "Sure, honey." "You sleep with your momma tonight." "I'm gonna sleep with your brother, so Karl can have your room." "Why?" "'Cause he's company." "Well, Karl, looks like you got plenty of blankets and things." "Bathroom's out there in the hall." "We'll leave at first light." "That's a... that's an old cowboy thing." "Jerry, why didn't you give him Bubba's room?" "His sister's is a little girly, isn't it?" "Yeah, I thought about that." "I guess it doesn't make any sense to move him now." "Daddy..." "Don't you think one of us ought to stay up all night and kind of guard or something?" "Well, hell, no, son." "What's wrong with you?" " He's a nut, ain't he?" " "Isn't," Bubba." "Don't say "ain't."" "("Knocks at door)" " Karl, are you up?" " Yes, sir." "Didn't you go to sleep at all, Karl?" "You been sitting there like that all night?" "Yes, sir." "Well, come on." "We'd better hit the road." "All right, then." " Hey, Jerry." "How's it going?" " Hey, Bill." "Good to see you, man." "It's been a long time." "It's good to see you, too." "How's everybody doing?" "Oh, pretty good." "Kids are driving me crazy, Phyllis is gonna put me in the poorhouse, but I can't complain other than that." "Wouldn't do any good if I did." " You know Scooter, Jerry?" " I don't believe I do." " Good to meet you, Scooter." " How about you?" "Well, this is him, the one I was telling you about on the phone." "Like I said, if you get nervous about it, I'll understand." "I'm not gonna lie to you." "He did get into that trouble, but then he was young." "I remember that real well." "He cut those folks to pieces, his momma was one of 'em." "Yeah, and that old Dixon boy." "Oh, hell, I always wanted to kill him myself." "Asshole's what he was." "I remember that old boy, too." "Kind of retarded or something back in school." "Well, seems like he's pretty well-adjusted these days." "He..." "I don't think he'd ever hurt anybody." "He don't look much like he would." "You say he fixes small engines like nobody's business?" "He's a regular whiz." "It's all he's done since he was a kid." " Are you scared of him, Scooter?" " No, I don't guess so." " Can he talk?" " Oh, yeah." "Now, you say he can stay out the back?" "Fine with me." "If he steals anything, I'm gonna take it out of your pocket anyway." "Oh, he won't steal." "He's a pretty good old boy, really." "Keeps to himself." "Well, I got a roomful of work for him to do." "I can't get Scooter to do any of it." "Karl, come over here." "I want you to meet your new boss." "This is Bill Cox." "He runs the place." "Says that you can work here and stay out back." " It's good to know you, Karl." " Thank you." "Karl, it's minimum wage, and there ain't nothing back there but an old army cot and a toilet." "Yeah, that'll be fine." "Karl, I'm gonna go out to the car and get your books." "All right, then." "Karl, they say you're a whiz on fixing lawn mowers and things." "I've tinkered around on 'em a little bit." "Mm-hm." "We order up from the Frostee Cream at lunch, usually." "We can buy you lunch till you get on your feet a little." "I like them French-fried potatoes." "Mm-hm." "Yeah?" "Me, too." "They make a good double meat burger." "All right, then." "I'll see y'all later." "Karl, you done a good day's work today." "They was right about you." "Scooter, he gonna knock you out of a job if you're not careful." " All right, then, I'll see y'all tomorrow." " Wait up." "I'll leave with you and lock up." "Karl, there's a blanket up in under that cot and some soap in the bathroom for cleaning up with." "Now, there's one more thing." "The way we lock these doors, you can't get out at night." " You didn't wanna go anywhere, did you?" " I don't reckon." "If it works out, maybe we'll get you a key so you can get out at night if you need to." " I'll see you later." " All right, then." "So then the old man says, "At my age, I'd rather have the talking frog."" "We'll see you, JW." "Scooter, did I tell you the one about the two old boys pissing off the bridge?" " I don't remember." " Well..." "These two old boys hung their peckers off the bridge to piss." "And one of the boys was from California and one from Arkansas." "Old boy from California says, "Boy, this water's cold."" "Old boy from Arkansas said, "Yeah, and it's deep, too."" "Get it?" " That's a good 'un." " That is a good one." "You know, I do believe you've told me that one before." "I've heard that one a bunch." " A long time ago." " Yeah, that's a classic." "You know, Karl, I got to thinking about it last night, and it's just not Christian of me not to let you have a key." "I mean, you've been in lockup so long, you don't need me keeping you locked up." "You need to come and go as you please." "Here." "Take this key." "It'll get you in and out of here at night." "All right, then." " Them French fries good?" " Yeah, they're good all right." "Mm-hm." "You got any money?" "Well, they give me some when they turned me loose." "I spent up some of it a-ridin' on the bus and eating French-fried potatoes." "Mm-hm." "Well, I'm gonna pay you today for this coming week so you have some walking-around money." "When you get off this evening, you need to go buy some toothpaste and some cleaning up supplies to have back there." "Get you some magazines and some hard candy." "Something to keep you busy at night." "All right, then." "I'll let you off while it's still daylight." "Hey, there." "I thought I heard somebody on the porch." "Wasn't your name Karl?" "Yes, sir, it is." "Your name's Frank." "Yeah." "What are you doing by here?" "You said for me to come by." "You wanna play ball with us?" "I ain't no good at it." "I just come by to see you." "Mm-hm." "Well, I was going to see my momma over at Hoochy's Dollar Store." "She works two till eight." "All right, then." "You wanna go with me?" "You can meet my momma." "I oughta not worry your momma with company." "Aw, come on." "You'll like her." "She's real nice." "And she'll give us anything we want her to." "Candy or something." "Well, I was kindly needing to do some trading." "Reckon they sell toothpaste?" "Yeah, they sell a little bit of everything." "I won't tell her about you being in the state hospital for killing." "Come on, let's go." "You're just gonna have to learn to live without all that grease." "Shoot, not here in the South." "I like grease on everything." "I like fried chicken, fried okra." " Biscuits and gravy." " It'll kill you." " Hey, Momma." "Hey, Vaughan." " Hey, sweetheart." "What you up to?" "I bet I know." "You want a whole bunch of candy and a pop, right?" "Yeah." "That stuffs gonna rot your teeth, don't you know that?" "I got something even better." "I just put potted meat on special-four cans for a dollar." "They're not moving very well." "But I tell you what, I'll give a couple of cans for free to the right kid." "I don't like potted meat." "Daddy used to say they was made out of lips, peckers and intest..." "Frank, don't talk that way." "Who's that strange-looking man behind you?" "Did he follow you in here?" " Can I help you, sir?" " ("Frank) Oh, that's Karl." "I met him at the Laundromat." "Karl, this is Momma and Vaughan." "Vaughan's the manager." "He lets Momma off any time she feels like it, 'cause they're best friends." "Nice to meet you, Karl." "Pleased to meet you." "Frank, why don't you come back here with me for a minute?" "I don't think I've seen you here before." "No, sir, I don't reckon you have." "I don't believe I've ever been in here before." "I don't believe this store used to be here." "It's been here 17 years." "You live here before, or something?" "I was born and raised here up till I was 12 year old." "What brings you back?" "What's that you say?" "Why are you here now?" "They turned me loose from the state hospital." "Mm-hm." "Is that right?" "How long are you gonna be staying here?" "Mr. Woolridge, he got me hired on to work for Bill Cox's outfit." "Mm-hm." " You have family here?" " Not to speak of." "Hey, Karl." "Guess what?" "Momma said you can stay over with us out in the garage." "Our car won't fit in there anyway." "It's real neat." "Frank told me about your situation." "Frank loves company." "You know, especially after his daddy passed an' all." "There ain't no sense in you staying in that old greasy shop." " He's mentally retarded, poor thing." " He just got out of the state hospital." " I know." " Can we get some candy and pop?" " Sure thing." "Go ahead." " Come on." "You think it's safe to let him around that guy?" "Frank's just crazy about him." "He likes the way he talks." "He helped him carry home the clean laundry." "He's been in the state hospital a long time." "There must be something wrong with him." "He's retarded's all." "You know he's always after a father figure." "Lord knows, Doyle ain't a good one with his mean ass." " What about me?" " I don't think he sees you as a "guy" guy." "Oh, Karl's a "guy" guy?" "This is what I call my secret place, 'cause I come out here when I feel like being by myself." "I used to come here with Karen Cross." "She's kind of like my girlfriend." "Or used to be." "We used to come out here and hold hands and talk, and read books to each other with a flashlight." "She didn't want to have nothing to do with me in front of people, 'cause I don't have any money." "Well, Momma and me, I mean." "See, her daddy's a dentist, so they're rich." "Was your folks well off?" "No, we didn't have too much." "Just barely enough to scrape by on, I reckon." "They still around, your folks?" "My mother's dead." "My daddy, he's supposed to be around still." "But he don't wanna have nothing to do with me." "How do you know?" "Well, he never did want to." "I figure he probably ain't changed his mind much." "How did your momma die?" "You don't need to hear things like that." "You're just a boy." "You need to think about good thoughts while you're still a boy." "There's plenty of time for all the other." "Mm-hm." "I've had a lot of bad thoughts since Daddy died." "Sometimes I wish I was still real little and he was still here." "Momma's real good, but I wish I had both of 'em." "We went to Memphis in the car one time." "It was raining so hard, we couldn't see the road." "But I wasn't scared, 'cause as long as Daddy was driving," "I thought nothing could happen to us." "That's the way I feel about Momma now." "Momma has a boyfriend now." "His name is Doyle Hargraves." "He works construction, so he makes a pretty good living." "But he still don't help Momma out with any money, though." "He ain't no good." "He's mean to her." "He don't like me at all." "Momma says it's 'cause he's jealous, 'cause I belong to my daddy instead of him." "He spends the night over at our house sometimes, and he's got his own house." "Somebody told me it's where he can have more girlfriends." "I like it on the nights he ain't at our house." "I ain't so nervous then." "How come her to still be girlfriend an' all with him if he mean to her?" "She says it's for the times when he's good to her." "She's lonely since Daddy died." "Sometimes she says she don't know why." "He threatened to kill her if she ever left him." "My daddy would kill him if he was still here and somebody was mean to Momma." "Vaughan, he's real good to Momma." "Vaughan that you met." "But he's not able to do anything to Doyle." "He's funny, you know." "Not funny ha-ha, funny queer." "He likes to go with men instead of women." "That makes him not be able to fight too good." "He sure is nice, though." "He's from St. Louis." "People who are queer get along better in a big town." "I wish he liked to go with women." "I'd rather him be Momma's boyfriend than Doyle." "Karl, you know when I told you Daddy got hit by a train?" "Yes, I recollect that." "It ain't the truth." "He shot himself with a shotgun on purpose." "How come he would do that, reckon?" "'Cause he didn't have enough money to take care of us the way he wanted to." "That's what the letter said." "He got laid off at work and started working odd jobs." "I thought he took care of us just fine." "Karl, did you really kill somebody?" " Yes, sir, I did." " Who did you kill?" " Two people." " Were they bad people?" "I thought they was." "Well, maybe they needed it." "Well, I growed up and learned that you ain't supposed to kill nobody." "It's all right if you're looking out for yourself." "If it's self-defense." "Was it self-defense?" "My daddy was good." "I think too many good people die." "That's what I think." "Karl, are you sure you wanna go stay with these folks?" "You're welcome to keep on staying here." "It's working out real good." "That boy wants me to." "All right, then." "I'll see you bright and early." "How are you coming along with that garden tiller?" "I fixed it." "It's working pretty good now." "Mm-hm." "You done fixed it?" "Well, I'll be damned." "Scooter told me it couldn't be fixed." "Of course, Scooter's about as shiftless as one poor son of a bitch can be." "You done fixed it." "Well, I'll just be damned." " Well, I'll see you tomorrow." " All right, then." "I don't guess I give a shit, 'cause, I mean, I ain't here that much anyway." "If you want a retard living out in the garage, I guess that's your business." "Of course, I do got some tools out there and a set of sockets" "I'd rather not have stole." "I could take those home with me." "He's real honest." "He wouldn't steal nothing." "Now, Frankie, I wasn't talking to you, was I?" " Huh?" " No, sir." ""No, sir" is right." "I was talking to your momma." "This is her decision, not yours." "If I let it go on, it's 'cause she asked me, not you." "Hey, is this the kind of retard that drools and rubs shit in his hair and all that?" "'Cause I'm gonna have a hard time eating around that kind of thing, now." "Just like I am about antique furniture and midgets." "You know that." "I can't so much as drink a damn glass of water around a midget or a piece of antique furniture." "Doyle, you're awful." "You shouldn't be that way." "I ain't saying it's right." "I'm just telling you it's the damn truth." "Now, he'll make me sick." "I know it." " What was he in the nut house for?" " He's just mentally retarded, I guess." "Mm-mm." "No, no." "He had to go nuts and did something, now." "Come on." "There's a lot of retards running around ain't locked up in the nut house." "Think about it, Linda." " You know what he done, Frank?" " I ain't sure." "Yeah, well, you might oughta want to find out." "He might have hacked his family to pieces with a hatchet or something." "Yeah, that's right, Frank." "You better ask him." "I mean, don't hurt his feelings or anything, but it'd be good to know." "I'm sure it's nothing." "He seems real sweet." "You're all hung up on people being sweet, aren't you?" "He's sweet, everybody's sweet." "Speaking of sweet, where's your girlfriend?" "I thought you said he's coming over here for something." "He'll be here in a little while." "He's taking me to get an ice cream." "Ain't that sweet." "What am I gonna do about supper, while you're out running around with that fag?" "You're not crippled." "Get in there and make something." "Talking back and everything, aren't you?" "That kind of makes me horny, Linda." "Frank, why don't you go off and play in your room if Doyle's gonna talk nasty?" " I don't wanna go play in my room." " He don't wanna play in his room, baby." "Just let him sit here." "Let's all just be a family." "Till your mentally retarded friend and your homosexual friend get here." "("Footsteps.)" "("Vaughan.) Karl?" "Yes, sir." "So you're really going to stay here?" "That boy, he wants me to." "Have you knocked on the door yet?" " No, sir, I ain't." " How long have you been standing here?" "Quite a spell, I reckon." "Listen, Karl." "Before you get very used to staying here," "I think you and I need to talk about a few things." "Can I take you to lunch?" "I done ate just a little bit ago." "Mm-hm." "No, I mean..." "I mean tomorrow, or the next day." "I reckon I could use a little something or other to eat at noon time." "Bill Cox, he generally gets me a box lunch." "But I reckon he can lay off of doing it tomorrow." "Mm-hm." "OK." "Well, then, I'll come by Mr. Cox's and pick you up around noon, all right?" "All right, then." "There's your girlfriend." "Hey, y'all come on in." "Come on." "Have a seat in here." " Hey, Vaughan." "How are you, Karl?" " Oh, tolerable, I reckon." "Karl, this is my boyfriend, Doyle." "Frank, why don't you and Karl go on out in the garage and fix him up a place?" "Play a game or something." "Vaughan, you ready to go?" " Sure, I guess." " Hey, honey, don't rush everybody off yet." "Maybe you and Karl want to go with us?" "Aw, I don't want to." "Me and Karl's got things we need to do." "Hey, Vaughan." "You know what I heard?" "I heard you been putting it on old Albert Sellers, works over at the funeral home." " I know Albert." "We're friends." " No, I heard you's more than friends." "Yeah, I heard Dick Rivers come in and caught the two of you all bowed up and going at it right in the same room with poor old Miss Olgetree, and her dead as a doornail, laid out on a gurney." " That's ridiculous." "That is just a total lie." " Let's go, Vaughan." "Frank, we'll be back in a little while." "I'll bring you back something." "And your food's in the oven, warming over." "See?" "You fixed him something, didn't you?" "Hey, Vaughan." "I was just going on with you." " Just joking around, you know, buddy." " I know that." "You're a real card, all right." "So, Karl, come over here and sit down." "Talk to me." "Come on, Karl, let's go to the garage." "Goddamnit, I wanna talk to him." "You sit down, Karl." "So what's in your bag?" "Mm..." "This and that." "Toothpaste and whatnot." "Mm-hm." "What's all them books?" "Different ones." "One of 'em's the Bible." "Mm-hm." "You believe in the Bible, do you, Karl?" "Yes, sir, a good deal of it." "I can't understand all of it." "Yeah, well, I can't understand none of it." "This one begat that one, and that one begat this one, and begat, and begat, and lo and behold, someone says some shit to someone or another." " Just how retarded are you?" " Stop it, Doyle." "Frankie, you be quiet." "We're talking." "The adults are talking." "So was you in lockup for cutting someone up with a hatchet or something?" "I ain't never used no hatchet that I remember." "Mm-hm." "So you're just crazy in a retard kind of way, then, huh?" "It wouldn't matter to me if you did do violence on somebody." "I ain't scared of shit." "You think I'm scared for you to stay here?" "You're just a humped-over retard, it seems to me." "I'm just kidding you." "Welcome to our humble home, buddy." "See, Frank here needs all the friends he can get." "Frank's a weak little kid." "His daddy taught him how to be a pussy." "Stop, Doyle." "Don't talk about my daddy." "("Mocking.) "Don't talk about my daddy."" "Go on, get outta here." "Go on out to the garage, leave me be." "Go on." "Come on, Karl." "Frankie?" "Don't say nothing about our little spat to your momma, now." "I don't want her worrying about your ass." "I'd like to kill that son of a bitch." "I hate him." "You oughta not talk thataway." "You're just a boy." "Well, I hate him." "He oughta not talk thataway to you neither." "He ain't no account, if he's mean to you and your momma." "Your momma and that fella that's carrying me to get something or other to eat going to be back directly." "Will you be here with us for a long time?" "I reckon, if you want me to." "I got some of that potted meat and soda crackers left over, if you want some." "I don't see how you can eat all that stuff, with them insides it's made out of." "Well, I reckon it tastes pretty good to me." "I like the way you talk." "Well, I like the way you talk." "You think it's really got peckers in there, cut up?" "Hey, you know better than that." "You oughta not say that word." " Well, it smells kinda funny." " It's a little loud." "Looky right there." "I believe you're right." "I believe I see one right in there." "Mister, reckon you can hand me some of that mustard over there?" "Thank you." "OK, Karl, the reason that I brought you here is to talk to you about something that's on my mind." "I'm just..." "I'm just gonna put it right out on the table." "Where do I start?" "Um..." "Linda and Frank are very important to me." "They're like family." "My own family was never like a family." "They're horrible people." "As a matter of fact, for years I prayed every night that my father would die, and finally I realized through a lot of therapy that I was wasting my energy on hating him." "So... now I just don't care." "But, you see, you and I are a lot alike, as strange as that may seem." "I don't..." "I don't mean physically, or even mentally, really, but, well, emotionally." "Actually, the hand that we've been dealt in life." "We're different." "People see us as being different, anyway." "You're... well, you've got your affliction or whatever, and I... well, mine's not as easy to see." "I'm just going to say it." "I'm gay." "Does that surprise you?" "That I'm gay?" "You know what gay is, don't you?" "I don't reckon." "Homosexual." "I like men." "Sexually." "Not funny ha-ha, funny queer." "Mm-hm." "Well, that's a very offensive way to put it." "You shouldn't say that, Karl." "You were taught that, weren't you?" "I've heard it said thataway, yes, sir." "Anyway, it's hard to live gay - that's the right way to say it - in a small town like this." "I've wanted to leave many times, but... because I love Linda, Frank, and a certain other person," "I..." "They've kept me from leaving." "Look, anyway, I'm rambling." "The..." "If you're going to live in the Wheatley garage, you... you need to know it's not going to be easy." "Doyle is a monster." "Not just a closed-minded redneck, but a monster." "A dangerous person." "I've told Linda that one day that man is going to hurt her and that boy." "Maybe even kill them." "I see it in his eyes." "I'm very in tune, maybe even psychic." "But Doyle is going to make your life hell." "There's... there's one more thing." "It's none of my business why you were in the state hospital." "Everybody has something in their past." "Maybe... you tried suicide, maybe you did something... terrible." "But what I see before me is a gentle, simple man." "All I want you to promise me... is that you are capable of being around Frank and Linda." "You know." "You would never hurt either one of them under any circumstances, would you?" "I wouldn't never hurt them." "That's what I thought." "OK." "Look, I'm sorry if... if I've offended you in any way." "You seem like a thinker, you know." "You seem to always be deep in thought." "Tell me something." "What are you thinking right now?" "I was thinking I might wanna take me some of these potatoes home with me." "Oh." "How about before that?" "Let me think." "Before that I was thinking" "I could use me another six or eight cans of that potted meat, if you got any extra." "("Doyle.) Frankie, get some more salad." "Hold your plate up for me, Frankie." "I'm just gonna reach." "So, how come Karl won't eat here with us?" "I don't know." "He said he'd eat out there." "I wouldn't let it get to you." "Put some of this dressing on it." " No, no." " Yes." "I just feel sorry for the poor thing." "Who the hell could eat with him making all that goddamn racket in his throat?" " It's raunchy." " He does make some funny noises." "Well, I like the way he talks." "It sounds like a racecar motor idling." "It makes me not be nervous." "Well, I'm glad of it, honey." "What have you got to be nervous about?" "You're a damn kid." "You ain't got no bills to pay." "You got no business to run." "You don't even have to have a job." "You got no old lady eating on your ass all the time." "Well, I don't know." "I just stay nervous." " Could I have some of that ham?" " Oh, yeah." "I'm sorry." "Thanks." "You know what, by God?" "What?" "I know what I'd do tonight." " Oh, please, Doyle, don't." " Mm-hm." "Yeah." "I'm gonna call up Morris and have him get the band together." "We'll have a party." "Party our asses off." "I'd love to show them that damn Karl." "They'd get a kick out of him." " You know they would." " Please, now, not tonight." "I'm just not up for it." "They always stay till morning." "I'm just give out, Doyle." "You don't gotta do nothing, Linda." "Just put some chips in a bowl and run ice out to us when we look low." "Last time you got mad and run Morris and them off, told them to stay away from here." "That ain't none of your business, Frank." "Besides, that's the way friends do one another." "Fuck it, I'm calling 'em up." "Linda, go out there in the garage and get my guitar." " It's out there with that loony tune." " Now?" "Yeah, now." "I'm calling 'em up." "Hey, Morris." "What you doing, boy?" "Where's Randy and them?" "Yeah, now, please." "Frankie, go help your mom." " When are we gonna eat?" " Hang on." "You eat when you come back." "Go get my guitar." "Come on, sugar." "No, I wanna get together." "Yeah." "Well, call him." "("Linda.) Knock, knock." "Karl, now, listen." "There's gonna be a party tonight over here at the house." "Doyle's invited his music-playing buddies over to get liquored up, pick fights and make a bunch of racket out on the patio." "It's on." "We're gonna rock." "Hey, Linda, call up Vaughan and get him over here." "I want him to be here." "I wanna show him a good time." "No, Doyle." "Vaughan don't wanna come to a party with you." "Too late, Linda." "I already called him." "He's coming, or I'm gonna go get him." "Hey, Frankie." "Take that tub, and you and Karl come out here and help me ice down some beer." "Karl, help him get that tub." "Come on, Frankie." "Come on, Frankie." "("Doyle.) Go ahead and kick her off." "Johnson!" "Here we go." "One, two, one, two, three, four." "("Shambolic playing.)" "You gotta play through it." "When we're on a gig, you gotta play through it." "You gotta..." " No, you play through it on a gig." " Did you like that, Vaughan?" "Sure." "It sounds like a number one hit tune, all right." "How about you, Karl?" "Karl, did you like that?" " I reckon." " ("Man.) I wish you'd all lay off for tonight!" " I can't hear myself think with that racket." " Hey!" " ("Man.) Well, it's nighttime." "You let..." " Hey!" " ("Man.) I'm calling the police!" " I told you three times already." "The law's on my side." "I play cards with JD Shelnut, chief of police, so kiss my ass, you old bastard!" "Hey, Linda." "You and Frank clean this mess up for us, and put the tarp over these instruments." "Me and the boys are gonna go down to the county line." "We're out of liquor and beer." "Hey, Karl, come along with us." "Vaughan, come on." "Oh, no, I don't think so." "It's late." "I-I have to work tomorrow." "Don't be a pussy, Vaughan." "We all gotta work tomorrow." " Come on." " ("Linda.) He don't want to, Doyle." "Don't go, Vaughan, if you don't want to." "You'll wreck, Doyle." "You're drunk." "Uh-uh." "I ain't gonna wreck, honey." "Come on." "I'll be good, I promise." "I love you, sweetie." "Come on, Karl, go with us." "I'm just trying to make these two feel like they're part of it, baby." "Come on, Vaughan." "This'll be fun." "Hey, Karl, let's go." "Come on." " You better lay off that tambourine." " Hey, man, I ain't doing nothing wrong." "Hey!" "Ain't anybody gonna come and get me?" "Not that you two afflicted son of a bitches would know anything about this, but you're sitting in a crew-cab dually pickup." "In some circles, this is considered a piece of automotive art." "Are you sure you can drive?" "You've really had a lot of alcohol." "When you've been drinking as long as me, Vaughan, you build up a tolerance." "Hide that between your legs for me, will you?" " Hey, Freddy." "How about you?" " How about you, Doyle?" "How you doing, boy?" "Hey." "I saw your picture in the paper, catching that big ass bass." "Yeah, she was a big 'un." "Boys." "Hello, Freddy." "Freddy." "You ain't drunk driving, are you, Doyle?" " Yeah, pretty much." " ("Freddy.) I figured." "You be careful with that cripple in the back, now." "You're liable to throw him out." " Looks like you got a wagonful." " Uh-huh." "We ran out of something to drink." "I'm headed over to the county line to get some." "You wanna race?" "You know better than that, Doyle." "We're on duty." "But I'll catch you next week with that 327." "Yeah, you'll try." "What exactly are you talking about?" "I don't understand." "("Man.) Exactly the point, my young levelheaded friend." " I don't get it." " Well, I rest my case." "Morris is real smart with philosophies and things." "That's why him and me is the songwriting team of our group." "See, I come up with the good tunes, or melodies as we call 'em, and, um, Morris is the lyrics." "Not unlike Gary Brooker of the Procol Harum." "We don't ever play any songs that y'all wrote." "I ain't heard one of 'em." "Y'all just talk." "We don't even play any songs with words at all that I remember." "We ain't got no fucking microphone." "We ain't got no speaker set up." "We wrote one last night outside the minimart, and, um, Morris called it "Stuart Drives a Comfortable Car."" "And then, like in country songs, you know, in parenthesis it says:" ""There's usually someone in the trunk."" "And, um, I came up with a tune, just a-hummin'." "See, you don't wanna question a genius, Vaughan." "Morris here, he's a modern-day poet, kinda like in the olden times." "Yeah." "I got a new tune." "This composition's entitled "The Thrill." Goes something like this:" ""I stand on the hill" ""Not for a thrill" ""But for a breath of a fresh kill" ""Never mind the man who contemplates" ""Doing away with license plates" ""He stands alone anyhow" ""Baking the cookies of discontent" ""By the heat of the Laundromat vent" ""Leaving his soul..."" "Then, like in poetry, I go dot-dot-dot, you know, kinda off-center, then I drop down, and then I go:" ""Leaving his soul parting the waters" ""Of the medulla oblongata of..."" "("silly noise.)" ""...mankind"" "A damn good song, weren't it, Doyle?" "You like that song?" "All right." "I don't think that's right." "I believe the dot-dot-dot come between "medulla" and "oblongata."" " Well, it did." " The dots are where I say they are." "Melody and tune - that's your trade, Terence." "You're a tunesmith." "I don't understand the meaning of the words." "If y'all don't shut up, I'm gonna go outta my mind." "Besides, Karl here's liable to bust a spring." "He's already off balance." "That wasn't the way you made it up before, Morris." "That's all I know." "We don't need no fancy words." "I mean, we need to practice." "We need to rehearse." "I'll tell you what we need." "We need some paying gigs." "We don't need this messing around, first on one patio and then another." " That's ridiculous." " Amen, Johnson." "We don't got no goddamn band!" "We don't need to fucking practice, Randy!" "We don't need a shit-ass manager neither." "You motherfuckers!" "Y'all just a bunch of losers!" "I'm the only sane son of a bitch here!" "Just get the fuck outta my house now!" "It's not your house, Doyle, it's Linda's." "I'll whip the dog shit outta you, Vaughan." "I will fucking kill you if you talk to me again." "Now, all of you, get the fuck out now, before I get too mad to turn back." "What about our instruments?" "Come here, you little prick." "Come here, you fucking prick!" "Get out!" "All of y'all!" "Now, get the fuck out!" "Come on, you motherfuckers!" "Get the fuck out!" "Randy, you tooting son of a bitch!" "Go fucking practice, Randy!" "Come on, Morris, you fucking genius, get the fuck up and get the fuck outta here, goddamnit!" "This ain't right, Doyle." "There is something wrong with you." " Get the fuck out!" " Nobody wants to take this shit, man." "Dots look good on paper." "You don't sing 'em anyway." "You're just showing your true Aries color now." "Stay outta my goddamn face, you fucking buzzard." "Hey!" "I said, get outta my house!" "That goes for cocksuckers and retards." "Now, get up off your asses and go." " Come on!" " This is not your house, Doyle." "This is my house, and I'll say who stays and who goes." "You got a house." "Why don't you go get one of your girlfriends and go home to it?" "You know better than to talk to me like that when I'm hurting, Linda." " Don't make me knock the piss outta you." " Don't you touch her." "That's funny, Vaughan." "Linda, go to bed, and take little snot nose here with you." "You're not staying here tonight." "Go get sober before you come back." "I'm tired of my child seeing this." "Now, you get your ass straight, or I'll lock your ass outta my life for good." "If you even think about leaving me, Linda, I told you," " I'm gonna kill you deader than a doornail." " That might be better than this." "All right, I'm a witness." "I heard you threaten her." " Hey!" "You get the fuck out now!" " Leave!" " Don't tell me what to do, Linda." " Leave!" " Don't tell me what to do, Linda." " Leave!" " Don't tell me what to do." " Leave!" "Don't you tell me what to do, Lin..." " Don't do that, Linda." " I'm calling the police!" " Goddamn you, you little prick!" " ("Shouts incoherently.)" "Go home!" "Jesus!" "Hey!" "Goddamn you, Frankie." " Get away from us!" " Goddamnit!" "God!" "Get away from us!" "All right." "OK." "I'm gonna leave now." "Fuck me!" "Fuck me!" "I'm gonna go home and sober up." "Go on, then." "Everything's bothering me." "I'm hurting, Linda." " I love you." " Well, I hate you!" "I hate you, you little prick!" "No, I don't." "No, I don't." "I love your momma." "I just..." "I can't explain what goes on." "You bunch of freaks, I hope you have fun." "I'll call you tomorrow." "I'm sorry, honey." "I said I'm sorry, Linda." "OK." "All right, you can kiss my ass." "And if you ever hit me again, you little bastard," "I swear to God I'll make you sorry your daddy ever squirted your ass out." "You hear me?" " You all right, Momma?" " Yeah, I'm fine." "Let's just try and forget about tonight." "We don't need to think about bad thoughts, do we, Momma?" "No, honey, we don't." "I'll make some coffee, start cleaning up this mess." "Karl, you want some coffee, hon?" "Coffee kinda makes me nervous when I drink it." "Mm-hm." "What are you doing up again, Frank?" "You need to get a little sleep." "Did Vaughan go home?" "Yes." "He has to go to work in a little while." "I do, too." "Did Karl go to bed?" "I guess." "He went to the garage." "Poor thing." "He's probably never seen such a crazy mess." "Probably wants to go back and live in Mr. Cox's shop." "I bet he don't." "He likes me." "I know he does." "Momma..." "Hm?" "Is everything gonna be all right someday?" "I stay nervous all the time, just about." "Yeah, honey." "Someday everything's gonna be all right." "Doyle wouldn't really kill you, would he?" "I promise, we're gonna get away from him." "The time has to be right, that's all." "I'd rather him get tired of me and leave me, then he wouldn't wanna hurt me." "He wouldn't care then." "We'll be fine, I promise." " You go to bed now." "I love you." " I love you too, Mom." "Go on." "You scared me." " I didn't aim to." " You wanna sit down?" "Do you need something?" "No, ma'am." "There's these two fellas." "They're standing on a bridge and going to the bathroom." "One fella says that the water's cold." "Other fella said the water's deep." "I believe one fella come from Arkansas." "Get it?" "I'll be dog." "Reckon you could make me some biscuits?" "Right now?" "Whenever you take a notion to." "I don't aim to put you out none." "Well, it is nearly breakfast time anyway." "I can't go to sleep." "I have to be at work in three hours." "You know how it is when you only sleep an hour or two, you feel worse than if you hadn't slept at all?" "Yes, ma'am, I do." "Well, sit down." "I'll make you some biscuits and gravy." "Mustard's good on 'em to me." "OK." " Thank you." " Oh, it's all right." "You know, I was thinking." "There's this girl that works with me." "She's real heavy, but she's cute in the face." "Well, you know, she's slow." "She's a little bit..." "I think..." "She's not retarded, just..." "Well, it don't matter." "Listen to me." "I thought you might like to meet her." "Vaughan wants to have a little supper over at his house, and we could invite her." "Would you like that?" "I reckon I wouldn't mind having a little supper." "Mm-hm." "Vaughan's friend'll be there, too." "He works at the funeral home." "And Frank." "You know, Frank really likes you a lot." "He says you make him feel calm." "I like Frank." "He's a good boy." "Me and him's made friends." "It ain't right for me to keep from telling you how come me to be in the state hospital." "Oh, that's OK." "It's not really my business." "I have wondered, though." "Why was it?" "Was it, like, a nervous breakdown?" "Or...?" "I killed my mother and an old boy named Jesse Dixon." "I thought they were doing wrong." "I was about your boy's age." " They told me I'm well from it now." " Was that you?" "I remember that." "I was only three or four, but I always heard about it growing up." "They say you're well?" "Yes, ma'am." "I like your garage." "I never would hurt you or that boy." "I'd lay my hand on the Bible and say the same thing." "Mm-hm." "I know you wouldn't, hon." "Well, I'll make you some biscuits." " (Bill) How about you, Jerry?" " How are you, Bill?" "Oh, I'm doing pretty good." "Got a sick tiller here." "What's got you down this way?" "Oh, I just thought I'd check up on Karl." "See how things are working out." "He's pretty quiet, except for them rackets and breathing things he does." "He ain't threatened me with a killing or nothing." "I tell you, you couldn't have been more right about him fixing things." "That son of a bitch is a regular Eli Whitney on a lawn mower." "And loves French fries." "The son of a bitch can eat four larges and won't so much as even belch." "I'm proud to have him." " Him staying here working out?" " Well, he's gone to staying over with that Wheatley boy and his momma over at their garage." "I think that little boy's adopted him damn near like a mascot." "He's got a key here to come and go as he pleases." " Yeah." " He's working out real good." " Can I see him?" " Sure." "Scooter!" " Take Jerry in there to talk to Karl." " All right." "Hey, Karl!" "Sure you're gonna be OK staying with that woman and her boy?" "Yes, sir." "Do they know about you?" "My history?" "Yeah." "I told 'em about it." "They know I'm well." "That Ms. Wheatley made me some biscuits." "I'll be!" "That boy, he's my friend." "He likes the way I talk, and I like the way he talks." "Mm-hm." "Well, I knew you were gonna be all right." "I just wanted to check on you." "I'd better tell Bill goodbye and head on back." "All right, then." "(Bill) Karl, see if you can figure out what's wrong with this thing." "It won't crank up, and everything seems to be put together right." " Bill, I'll see you." " OK." "Stop back by." "Don't worry about your boy now." "He's doing good." "It ain't got no gas in it." "(Bill) You see there, Scooter?" "Thinks of the simplest things first." "Does everybody like the food?" " Yeah." " It's good." "Oh, good." "I haven't decided yet if I'm a good cook." "Karl, you know what?" "Melinda here was voted employee of the month at the Dollar Store last February." "Isn't that something?" "Yes, ma'am, I reckon." "Well, when you like pricing items as much as I do, it's just bound to happen sooner or later, I guess." "Karl, maybe you and Melinda might like to take a walk tonight." "It's such a nice evening." " Vaughan, don't get pushy." " I'm sorry." "I kinda like walking from time to time." "I stay on my feet all the time at work." "I just can't find shoes that's comfortable." "Hospital shoes might be the answer." "Nurse's shoes." "Or the kind old ladies wear who work in the school cafeteria." "Same difference." "I get real mean when my feet hurt." "It's the only time I don't like checking out customers, when my feet hurt." "You and Karl aren't talking much." "You boys must really like that food." "Well, I ain't got nothing to say - anything about shoes." "Listen, everybody." "I..." "This might sound corny, but, um..." "I've had a few glasses of wine, and that tends to make me a little emotional, but I'm gonna say it anyway." "It came over me in a rush." "I just want all of you to know that I care about each and every person at this table." "Thank you, Vaughan." "That's really sweet of you." "We care about you, too." " Don't we, y'all?" " Oh, yeah." "Also, Melinda, please don't tell anyone at the store that Albert was here tonight." "OK?" "Why?" "Well, you know how this town is." "People talk and they spread these cruel rumors." "Unfortunately, there are certain parts of my life I have to keep private." "You mean about you and Albert being together in that way?" "Yeah." "Yes." "I think everybody at the store already knows." "They're always talking about it." "Maureen Ledbetter told the most awful story about why you ain't allowed at the First Baptist Church no more." "Karl, why don't you and Melinda go take a walk?" "It's nice out." "All right, then." " The food sure is good." " Mm-hm." " You walk fast, don't you?" " I reckon." "These are the worst shoes I own for walking." "How far did you say you wanted to go?" "I don't reckon I thought about it too much." "I don't know, Karl." "She just ain't catching fire." "Did you check them points?" "No." "No, I didn't." "That's probably it." " (Bill) Yes, ma'am." " (Melinda.) Is Karl here?" "(Bill) Yeah." "Just a minute." "Hey, Karl, there's somebody out here to see you." "Some gal holding a nice bouquet." "Come on, now, she wants to talk to you." "Don't just sit there." "Hi, Karl, I'm on my lunch break." "These were on sale 'cause they're not fresh." "$ 2.99 a bunch plus my ten percent employee discount." "Since I didn't bring nothing for you on our date last night," "I thought you might like to have 'em." "Thank you." "Scooter, let's you and me go over to the Frostee Cream" " and pick up something for lunchtime." " Oh, well, I can go." "You don't have to." "You don't never go." "Goddamnit, Scooter, come on." "Let's go." "Pardon my language, ma'am." "Darlin'" "Lord above me" "Well, I just thought I'd bring you 'em." "I liked walking with you." "I got a blister the size of a quarter on one heel." "Well..." "I'll see you sometime, I guess." "A blister sure can hurt." "Mm-hm." "Yeah." "Flowers is purdy." "I've always thought that." "Mm-hm." "Me, too." "Then you fix me a cup of tea" "Darlin'." "You're so damn swweet" "Don't forget the milk" "And wwherever!" "Go" "And wwhatever!" "Do" "Darlin'" "!" "love you" "Hey, Karl, how did you know I was in the garage?" "I seen that door cracked open a little bit and I figured you was in there fooling around." "Mm-hm." " You off of work?" " Yes, sir." "Where'd you get them flowers?" "That gal that made employee of the month at the Dollar Store, she gave 'em to me for walking with her." "I was going over to the secret place." "I borrowed one of your books." "You ain't mad, are you?" "No, sir." "You can look at any one of my books you want to." "Thank you." "It's name's A Christmas Carol." "That's that one on Christmas I was telling you about." "Well, you wanna go with me?" "All right, then." "Yeah." "Come on." "All right." "(Frank) You know why I want you to play ball with me?" "(Karl) No." "(Frank) 'Cause it's fun." "It don't matter if you ain't no good." "It takes your mind off everything else, and when you're running real fast trying to score a touchdown, that's all you're thinking about." "I ain't no account, but Daddy always said he was proud of me when I threw the ball or ran with it." "Did you have any brothers and sisters, growing up, to play with?" "I had one there for a little bit, but, uh... it didn't get old enough for me to play with it." "Mm-hm." "Why not?" "It died?" "Yes, sir." "Why?" "It got born a little too early." "My mother and father, they made it come out too early some way or another." "So it died when it come out?" "My daddy, he come out there to the shed and got me and said, "Here, take this and throw it away,"" "and he handed me a towel with something or other in it." "I started for that barrel, and..." "I opened up the towel to see what was in there, 'cause there was a noise and something moving around in it." "That towel was all bloody-like, all around it there." "It was a little old baby, not no bigger than a squirrel." "It was alive?" "Yes, sir." "Right then it was." "A boy or a girl?" "It was a little old boy." "You threw it in the trash barrel?" "Well, that didn't seem right to me, so I went in there in the shed and got a shoe box and emptied out the screwdrivers and washers and nuts and things out of it." "I taken the little fella and put him in the box, buried him out there in the corner of the yard." "That seemed more proper to me, I reckon." "It was still alive when you buried it?" "I heard it a-cryin' a little through that box." "That don't seem right." "It seems like you would have kept him and took care of him if he was your brother." "I wasn't but six or eight." "I reckon I didn't know what to do." "I didn't know how to care for no baby." "My mother and father didn't want him." "They learned me to do what they told me to do." "These days I figure it was probably best we just give him right back to the Good Lord right off the bat anyhow." "That makes me feel real sad." "Couldn't you have done something, Karl?" "I would have." "I wish I'd had him." "He'd still be right here now." "Living." "It makes me sad, too." "I wish there was something I could have did about it." "I don't think nothing bad oughta happen to children." "I think all the old bad things ought to be saved up for the folks that done growed up." "That's the way I see it." "Mm-hm." "I shouldn't have told you about that." "A boy your age ought not to hear such things." "It just kinda come out." "I didn't mean to say nothing bad about you." "You're good." "You don't mean no harm." "Did you ever think about killing yourself on purpose, like Daddy did?" "I've studied about it some." "The Bible says you ought not to." "Says if you do that, you go out to Hades." "Some folks call it hell, I call it Hades." "Mm-hm." "Bible says the same thing about killing others, too." "Yes, sir, I reckon it does." "(Doorbell)" "I always get nervous when I hear that doorbell." "I'm OK walking over here, but there's something about that dang doorbell." "They have one room where you can't walk on the carpet or sit on the furniture." "I don't see much sense in having it." "Son, why you keep on coming over here and you know these folks don't want you here?" "They run you away every time." "Don't keep doing this to yourself." "You's a sweet boy." "Why don't you go and give them flowers to somebody that's gonna enjoy 'em?" "Ma'am, I really wanna give them to Karen." "You his daddy?" "No, ma'am." "Well, whoever you are, you need to try to talk some sense into him." "That little old girl is too fast for him, and she don't wanna see him no way." "Will you get her for me, please?" "I really wanna see her." "She'll want to see me, too, 'cause we're not in public." "Just don't tell her folks that I'm here." "OK." "Hey, Frank, you shouldn't be coming over here." "My parents really don't want you to." "I wanted to bring you some flowers." "They're pretty good ones." "They're from the Dollar Store." "I'm not an idiot." "Besides, we have a garden full of flowers." "And I wanted you to meet Karl." "He's my new friend, but it seems like I've always known him." "I thought you should meet him." "Hi, Karl." "Pleased to meet you." "He'll be around for a long time, and I hope you will too, so..." "Here." "Give me the flowers." "I'll do something with them." "Now you better go." "Maybe I'll see you down at the secret place one day in a week or two or something." "I have a boyfriend now, you know, and we're pretty serious." "He gave me a ring." "Can you go with us now?" "With me and Karl?" "We could just hang out." "He has some cool books." "Frank, I just like you as a friend, and only at the secret place." "I can't go there now." "I'll see you later." " But just for a while." " I'm closing the door now." "I told you, I'll see you later." "She said she'd see me later." "That's kinda good, right?" "I reckon." "Well, hell, there's the boys." "How are you doing, boys?" "I'm glad y'all came back." "I was wanting to talk to y'all, too." "Come over here and sit down." "Come on, sit down." "I was just telling Linda..." "We were, uh, thinking that things would be a lot better if I spent a lot more time over here, and that we could..." "Oh, hell, I'll just start over." "See, I took off work early today, and your momma was good enough to do the same so that we could talk." "Really, what I come over here to do was apologize - which ain't easy for me - about how I acted the other night." "Now, I admit it, I was drunk." "I got all worked up, and one thing led to another." "I care about y'all, though." "I do, really." "And I don't mean to be so damned... well, asshole-ish, I guess would be the word." "Karl, I don't believe I hit you, did I?" "So no apology necessary, I guess." "But Frankie, I'm sorry." "I'm sorry I hit your momma." "It's just that I'm jealous of her." "I don't like her life or how she lives it." "I don't like homosexuals, and she goes out and buddies up with one, so now I gotta deal with that." "I don't like little wimpy-ass kids or mental retards, and she's got one of each living with her." "I'm just kidding really about that." "I mean, we all gotta get along, I guess, no matter what our differences are." "See, I work construction." "I build things." "Do you understand how important that is to the world, Frankie?" "I don't know if y'all realize the pressure a man like me's got on him." "Well, the upshot is, I'm gonna be spending a lot more time here." "We're gonna all get along like a family should." "I might even surprise you, honey, and pop the question." "Well," "I'm gonna get on back over to the job site, lock up some stuff over there." "I just wanted to stop by and... give y'all some little piece of happiness today." "Bye-bye, sweetie." "Karl." "Frankie, you be a good boy, now, you hear me?" "Well, at least he's trying." "But who knows for how long?" "He's lying, Momma." "He'll never do better." "I know, honey." "Just remember what I said." "We'll bide our time." "You just steer clear of him as much as you can." "Doyle's had a real hard life." "It's just about run him crazy, I think." "We've had hard lives, too, Momma." "You're a hell of a boy, Frank." "Someday you're gonna get all the good things you deserve." "Karl here's gonna get some more biscuits tonight." "What do you think about that?" "I could sure use some." "Hey, there, Karl." "Come unload a generator for me." "Karl, lift this thing down and carry it to the back for me." "It's on the blink." "Say, you want us to help you lift that thing?" "Oh, no." "That Karl's strong enough to lift a bulldozer." "He can fix anything, too." "I tell you, he's mentally retarded, but he's a whiz with small engines." "I tell you, the Lord works in mysterious ways." "So, anyway, what I was telling you was, he didn't just make the team, coach says he's going to start him at end on defense." "There's a chip off the old block, ain't you, Steve?" "Yeah, I guess so." "(Bill) And how's the rest of the team looking this year?" "Pretty good." "Pretty good." "We expect to do well." " (Bill) You got any quarterback this year?" " (Walter) Pretty good." "Jeff Bailey's boy, you know him." "Got a good arm, a little slow." "(Bill) Yeah, I watched him in junior high." "He can... he can throw the ball pretty well." "He's taller than he was then." "But you're gonna start at the defensive end?" "Hey, boy." "Hey." " What are you reading?" " Book on how to work carpentry." "I aim to learn how to make things out of wood some day." "Cabinets and whatnot." "These drawings in here, they don't make no sense to me so far." "You look like your tail's kinda dragging a mite." "You got something wrong with you?" "Seems like Doyle's made his way in." "Momma said he's staying over tonight, and he's talking about staying here for good." "We ain't ever gonna be happy." "We'll always stay nervous, won't we, Karl?" "I don't reckon I know, boy." "I ain't never found no way to not be nervous." "I'm three or four times as old as you are." "Maybe that's just the way folks is." "I feel sad about Karen Cross, too." "I just make like to myself that she loves me." "I know better, though, but it just feels good when I imagine it." "Making believe always made me feel pretty good too, from time to time." "Bill Cox is going to a funeral for a Mr. Turner tomorrow and closing up shop early." "Mm-hm." " Is that right?" " Yes, sir." "I figured I'd play ball with you." "You will?" "For sure?" "Yes, sir." "Well, I figure if neither one of us is no account, it won't make no difference, will it?" "Yeah." "You wanna be on teams, me and you?" "Yes, sir." "All right, then." "All right, then." "Hup!" "Come on, man." "Good job, Karl." "We got a touchdown." "That was a good lateral, man." "That was just like the wishbone." "Yes, sir." "Well, I darn near made me a touchdown." "Then I seen them boys bearing down on me, figured I'd better give it off to you there." "I seen you following me." "Mm-hm." "Yeah." "We're liable to win if we keep this up." "For somebody like you, you sure can run fast." " Come on, let's kick off to 'em." " All right, then." "I know you could've scored that touchdown by yourself instead of just throwing it over to me." "Them boys was trying to pull me down pretty hard." "You're strong, though." "You just threw it over to me where I could score that touchdown so I'd feel good." "My daddy used to do that kind of thing." "It don't matter to me about us losing." "Does it to you?" "No, sir." "It was fun anyhow." "I wasn't thinking about nothing else, just like you told me I'd do." "Can we play every Saturday?" "If I ain't too stoved up." "I ain't like you." "I'm old and give out." "I'm proud of you." "(Muttering.)" "Kick your head in 25 years ago." "You're dead, I guess." "Where'd you go to?" "(Muttering.)" "(Chuckling.)" "I'm your boy." "I ain't got no boy." "I'm your oldest boy, name of Karl." "I ain't got no boy." "They turned me loose from the nervous hospital, said I was well." "Mm-hm." "I got hired on to work for a Mr. Bill Cox, fixing lawn mowers and whatnot." "Mm-hm." "That grass out there in the yard, it's growed up quite a bit." "I figured I might cut it for you." "Mm-hm." "I told you, I ain't got no boy." "Now, why don't you get on outta here and let me be?" "You ain't no kin to me." "I learned to read some." "I read the Bible quite a bit." "I can't understand all of it, but I reckon I understand a good deal of it." "Them stories you and Momma told me, they ain't in there." "You oughta not done that to your boy." "I've studied on killing you." "I studied about it quite a bit." "But I don't reckon there's no need for it if all you're gonna do is sit there in that chair." "You'll be dead soon enough, and the world'll be shut of you." "You oughta not killed my little brother." "He ought to have had a chance to growed up." "He would have had fun sometimes." "Little fella." " (Gasps.)" " Hey!" "What in the goddamn hell are you doing, Karl?" "What the fuck are you doing up in the middle of the night?" " What do you want, hon?" " I wanna be baptized." "(Doyle.) Well, get baptized, then." "I don't give a shit." "Call up a fucking preacher, goddamnit!" "We can't baptize you." "We'll call Brother Epersom." "We'll go see him tomorrow and get you baptized." "It's Sunday." "You go on back to bed, now." "What are you doing with that damn hammer?" "I don't rightly know." "I just kinda woke up a-holdin' it." "What the fuck do you think he's doing with that hammer?" "I don't know." "(Sighs.)" "Upon his profession of faith in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, and in obedience under his command, and by the authority of the Church," "I indeed baptize this my brother in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Ghost." "Amen." "Marie, would you sing 137, please?" "Softly and tenderly" "Jesus is calling" "Calling for you and for me" " Hi." " Hi." " So how'd the baptizing go?" " It went real good." "Yeah?" "Good." "I'm kinda hungry." "Ain't it about time to eat?" "You know what I got a craving for?" "Some of that Chicken Champ." "Why don't you run down there and get some?" "I'll buy." " Would y'all like that?" " It sure sounds fine to me." "I'd have me a chicken leg or two." "Mm-hm." " Get some of their coleslaw, too." " OK." "All right, y'all wanna go with me?" "No, they don't need to go with you." "There's a ball game coming on." " We'll just sit here and do man things." " I'll be back in a little bit, then." " All right." "Hey, get some extra gravy." " OK." "Why don't y'all sit your asses down here?" "Sit down." "I just wanted to get your momma outta the house for a few minutes so we could talk." "See, here's the deal, Frank." "If I'm gonna throw my life away doing what I want to come live with y'all, we're gonna get some shit straight." "See, your mommy and I don't have no problems except for you." "Fact is, we'd never have a bad word between us." "But since you do exist, and I'm gonna be the head of the household, then you're gonna learn to live by my rules." "And the first rule is, you don't speak unless you're spoken to." "You got me?" "Now, you stay the hell outta my way." "And do what a regular kid does." "You're a weird little shit, Frank, and I don't get you." "So wake up, and face what they call reality." "See, we're gonna be a family, Frank." "My family." "I'll be paying all the bills, so that means you're stuck with my ass." "But I ain't your daddy." "You just act like I am." "And the other thing I say is, your buddy Karl here's going." "We can't be no normal family with him living in the garage and coming into the damn bedroom at four in the morning carrying hammers and shit." "Karl can stay if he wants to." "Momma said..." "What did I tell you about your momma?" "Mister, don't you never lay another hand on that boy." "You understand me?" "Let go of my goddamn hand, you retard." "Now get out there and get your shit, and get out." "That was a wake-up call, Frankie." "You remember what I said about reality, Frank." "Get out, retard." "Where are you going, Karl?" "Didn't you want some chicken and things?" "No, ma'am." "I'm going off somewheres." "Well, OK." "I got you some." "That Frank, he went off somewheres too, so when you go in there, he won't be indoors." "Where'd he go?" "What's going on?" "He just wanted to go off and play, I reckon." "You just go in there and eat your dinner with that Doyle." "Don't worry yourself none." "All right, then." "Well, I'll see you later." "Oh, if you see Frank, tell him to come on back home." "I don't get to see him all day except Sundays." "He can go play tomorrow." " Ma'am?" " Yeah." "You're a good momma to that boy." "You care for him." "You work hard to care for him." "You light him up in his eyes," "I've seen it." "That boy wouldn't know what to do without you." "Well, thank you, hon." "That's real good of you to say." "I wouldn't know what to do without him either." "You've been real good to me, too." "It ain't everybody that'd make biscuits in the middle of the night." "You and that boy has given me a good feeling." "We sure like having you." "Thank you." "I'm just now getting around to telling you, but I fixed that washing machine so that boy ain't gotta tote that laundry no more." "Oh, thank you." "Thanks." "You been real good to me." "Karl?" "Hey, Karl." "How'd you know to come out here?" "I knowed you'd be out here." "What are you doing digging with that stub?" "Just digging." "I ain't ever gonna be happy now." "Not with that son of a bitch moving in for good." "I wish me and you and Momma would just run away, but she said... wherever we went, he'd find us." "He's crazy." "Sometimes I think it'd have been better off if I wasn't even born." "Well, I'm glad of it you was borned." "I don't reckon I'm gonna be out there in the garage no more." "You have to, Karl." "You have to look out for me." "You can't let that son of a bitch run you off." "You're just a boy." "You ought not to use language like that." "I don't mean to say nothing bad about you, but why don't you stop Doyle when he's being thataway?" "You're older than him." "You're strong, too." "My daddy wouldn't let him do that to me and Momma." "That fella's a whole sight meaner than me." "He'd just whup the tar outta me." "Yeah." "I guess so." "I'm real tired, you know that?" "A boy my age shouldn't be tired of things." "I'm tired, too." "Just 'cause I ain't gonna be around no more maybe, it don't mean I don't care for you." "I care for you a good deal." "I care for you more than anything else there is." "You and me made friends right off the bat." "I care for you, too." "But you'll be around." "Don't say that." "It don't make no difference where I was to be." "We'll always be friends." "Can't nobody stop that." "I aim for you to have these books." "You don't wanna give away all your books." "I aim for you to have 'em." "Maybe you can make a little more sense outta 'em than I can." "I made you a little old book marker and put it in there in that book on Christmas." "Man." "Thanks." "You know when you get a feeling and you don't know why?" "Yes, sir." "I got a feeling today." "Reckon what kind of a feeling?" "Like something different." "I don't know." "You're leaving, ain't you, Karl?" "Would you do something for me if was to I ask you to?" "You know I would." "Whatever you want." "When you leave outta here tonight," "I don't want you going over and staying with that Doyle." "He's got it out for you tonight." "I got me a feeling, too." "You oughta not be over there when he's all liquored up and mean thataway." "Your momma neither." "When you get up from here to leave, I want you to go over to that fella's house." "Your momma's friend." "I want you to give me your word on it." "OK." "I give you my word on it." "Is everything gonna be OK?" "Are you all right?" "Yeah, everything's gonna be all right, boy." "I kinda wanna put my arm around you for a minute, then I'm gonna get up and leave outta here." "OK." "I love you, boy." "I love you, too." "All right, then." "Karl?" "Karl, what are you doing here?" "You want to come in?" "I ain't a-stayin'." "I need to ask you for a favor." "OK." "This evening, I want you to go get that Miss Wheatley, let her and that Frank stay over here with you tonight." "What's..." "What's wrong?" "Is everything all right?" "That Doyle." "He's in a bad way again with that drinking and a-bein' mean to folks." "I want you to give me your word you'll do it." "Well, sure, OK." "Has... has..." "He hasn't hurt them, has he?" "No, sir, not yet." "Here." "I want you to give that to that Miss Wheatley." "It ain't much." "But there might be a little something there to help out." "It's what I made a-fixin' lawn mowers and whatnot for Bill Cox." "Well, how about you, Karl?" "You want to stay here?" "I don't reckon that you have to go with women to be a good daddy to a boy." "You been real square-dealing with me." "Bible says two men ought not to lay together." "But I'll bet you the good Lord wouldn't send nobody like you to Hades." "That boy, Frank, he lives inside of his own heart." "That's a awful big place to live in." "You take care of that boy." "I will." "Karl?" "Where's everybody else?" "You seen 'em?" "Didn't I tell you to get moved outta here?" "How does a fella go about getting hold of the police?" "You use the fucking phone, I guess." "Which numbers do you put in?" "Can't you see I'm trying to relax?" "I thought I told you to get outta here, leave me alone." "What in the hell you doing with that lawn mower blade?" "I aim to kill you with it." "Well, to call the police, you push:" "9-1-1." "You best tell 'em to bring an ambulance." "Or a hearse, if you're going to kill me." "Karl!" "Yes, ma'am." "I need the police sent over here to the Wheatley house." "Mm-hm." "I've killed Doyle Hargraves with a lawn mower blade." "Yes, ma'am." "I'm right sure of it." "I hit him two good whacks with it." "That second 'un just plumb near cut his head in two." "It's a little old white house on the corner of Vine Street and some other street." "There's a truck out front says "Doyle Hargraves Construction" on it." "Oh, I'll be sitting here waiting on you." "Doyle said, besides sending the police, you might want to send a ambulance or a hearse." "Thank you." "So." "Now... on the third day," "I, uh..." "I washed her, 'cause she wasn't too clean, you know?" "Well, I got all the right spots." "She was the first one I ever kept for any length of time, 'cause I get bored real easy." "I got a real short attention span, you know." "Yeah." "I mean, I can't say that she enjoyed her stay." "But that washcloth I put in her mouth," "I held in place with a real fat piece of duct tape, kept all her complaining down to a minimum." "I don't really like people, you know, who talk all the time." "I like to do all the talking." "That's why I think I'm so fond of you." "'Cause you're just so easy-going, you know?" "Although I do sense a little tension in you, time to time." "So you were out in the world, huh?" "Did you have fun?" "Did you make any acquaintances?" "There was a boy." "We made friends." "Yeah, I'll bet you did." "I mean, I was never bent that way." "I was bent the other way, you know." "So." "What was it like out there in the world?" "It was too big." "Ah." "Well, it's not too big in here, is it?" "Huh?" "Huh?" "You know something?" "I feel real, uh, real generous today." "I feel like listening." "And I'll bet you got plenty to tell." "Karl?" "Who'd you kill?" "Was it the boy?" "Don't you say nothing about that boy." "Fact of business, don't you say another word to me." "I ain't listening to you no more." "Yeah, shh." "(Scraping.)" "("The Maker" by Daniel Lanois.)" "Oh" "Oh, deep water" "Black and cold" "Like the night" "I stand with arms wide open" "I've run a twisted line" "I'm a stranger" "In the eyes of the maker" "I could not see" "For the fog in my eyes" "I could not feel" "For the fear in my life" "And from across the great divide" "In the distance I saw light" "Jean Baptiste" "Walking to me with the maker" "My body" "Is bent and broken" "By long" "And dangerous sleep" "I can't work the fields of Abraham" "And turn my head away" "I'm not a stranger" "In the hands of the maker" "Brother John" "Have you seen the homeless daughters?" "Standing there" "With broken wings" "I have seen" "Flaming swords" "There over east of Eden" "Burning in the eyes" "Of the maker" "Burning in the eyes" "Of the maker"

"Huh?" "and it's been replaced by three 100-yen coins..." "Do I take that as a sign of sincerity?" "Tohsaka!" "Tohsaka?" "Are you in here?" "I wonder what this is." "Sorry." "It'll just take a little longer... how are you feeling?" "but that's all." "That is good to hear." "Rin." "Morning..." "You seem to have slept quite soundly last night." "Not really." "Someone was making noise past midnight." "we're going out today." "Hurry up and get ready." "Going out?" "Where?" "The next town over." "To do what?" "of course." "It's a date!" "A date?" "Between who and who?" "You and me." "okay." "You and I are—" "Wh-What?" "!" "Shirou?" "What's this about you going on a date with Tohsaka-san?" "531)}#12 The Final Decision" "This is what it all comes down to!" "either." "all embarrassed." "to be young!" "Fujimura-sensei?" "You do?" "I do." "got it?" "See you later!" "as well." "Okay." "where should we go first?" "Do you two have any requests?" "I can't really think of anything." "Saber?" "I merely came along as Shirou's guard." "Please act as if I were not here." "Really?" "Then you two don't mind completely resigning yourselves to my plans?" "Don't make it sound so sinister." "not go on a date with you." "I just thought a little downtime might do all three of us some good..." "Too bad!" "But that's what the world calls a "date." "People won't like you if you don't know when to give in." "Who won't like me?" "indeed?" "Shirou... fine!" "I'll go wherever you want!" "huh?" "I can't really tell how it tastes." "can't you?" "I guess it's sweeter than it looks." "Well?" "Well"?" "I guess." "Rin." "Thanks." "Let's see..." "Saber." "Emiya-kun!" "That's too funny!" "got it?" "I look enough like a little kid as it is." "okay." "huh?" "But I don't think you need to worry." "You're perfectly fine as you are." "I'm not." "I have to grow a little taller." "I'd say." "I'm nowhere near average." "I have to grow at least as tall as Issei." "don't worry about it." "You'll grow a lot taller." "Based on what?" "I bet you'll grow." "you'll grow good and tall!" "Do I look like I have leaves?" "are you mad?" "Not really." "I'll follow half of your advice." "I can't make you any promises about height but I'm sure you'll become a great-looking guy." "Shirou." "Wha— you're blushing." "Emiya-kun." "you're evil." "Do you get kicks from teasing guys in your grade?" "Of course." "And you have the best reactions." "and start the main event." "We'll knock a few out of the park before lunch!" "Take that!" "And one more!" "That machine's set to 120 km/h... why are you standing around?" "I can't let Tohsaka show me up." "Saber?" "Shirou?" "Being stared at like that makes me uncomfortable." "Talk about hating to lose." "I miscalculated..." "I had no idea Saber was so competitive." "and sulks if you're too far ahead..." "Shirou!" "of course I get serious." "Tohsaka." "Do you do push-ups before bed or something?" "I do." "Something wrong with that?" "no." "Nice." "I'm surprised." "I had no idea you'd gone to all this trouble." "Of course." "so I had to pull out all the stops." "this clears up that mystery." "This is what you used the bread for." "I figured you got hungry in the middle of the night and ate the whole loaf." "Emiya-kun?" "That's enough talking." "Let's eat now." "Right." "Let's eat." "Rin." "Shirou?" "it's fine." "but this is really good." "Oh?" "I'm glad." "You have some sauce on your face." "Shall I get that for you?" "Why would you ask that?" "maybe I took the joke too far." "so I couldn't help myself." "It's fine." "But just watch." "nothing will faze me." "starting tomorrow?" "What a relief." "I was sick of taking it easy on you." "I take that back." "that would be great." "Really?" "If you say so let me know." "I won't hesitate to knock you out." "You just assume you'll win?" "Are you sure you aren't the devil?" "You're always in red." "You seem to be feeling better." "You're back to normal?" "I'm glad." "Tohsaka..." "What?" "sleeping over." "Why?" "I just felt like it." "I thought it might be a nice change of pace." "It's true that having lots of people over yesterday was fun." "Right?" "Yeah." "but thanks." "D-Don't get the wrong idea!" "I w-wasn't concerned about you!" "you'd be at a disadvantage." "right?" "Th-That's right." "I'm glad you understand." "I appreciate it." "weren't you?" "bold as can be." "Kiritsugu-san..." "Do you remember a girl named Saber-chan?" "She says she's the daughter of someone you knew abroad." "She came all this way to visit you." "huh?" "You never had a chance to take me..." "We made it..." "Did you have fun today?" "We only got through half of what I'd planned but what did you think?" "I hadn't played around like that for a long time." "just say so." "after I played host all day!" "I didn't mean to... you did." "You're subconsciously slamming on the brakes." "I don't know what happened to you wouldn't you be happier letting it go?" "look outside." "Is something wrong?" "I don't know." "Something's strange." "What?" "What is this place?" "I can't get through to Archer." "We're completely closed in." "These are..." "This is only increasing their numbers." "Precisely." "Fighting within my Bounded Field will only expend your mana to no avail." "have you?" "right?" "then." "How valiant." "Saber." "Fuji-nee!" "What do you hope to accomplish by taking a hostage?" "I have no business with you." "My interest lies with that boy." "Your Magic Circuits are fascinating." "I'd like to take them without killing you." "Do you understand?" "not kill you." "If you become my puppet" "I shall refrain from further violence." "Listen to you!" "You're doing all this behind your Master's back!" "Is that jealousy I hear?" "but it is not perfect omnipotence that I desire unique ability." "what is your answer?" "Such a difficult child." "This decision should be simple." "No matter how skilled your Saber may be given my limitless mana reserve." "All the city's denizens are my power supply." "It is as though I have thousands of Masters." "Do you understand what I am saying?" "You wouldn't dare!" "do they not?" "And we are soul-eaters by nature." "By stealing mana in the form of life from these Masters" "I can extract as much as I like." "you have no chance of winning." "Serve me with Saber." "Let Fuji-nee go." "Were you not paying attention?" "I told you to surrender to me." "Shut up!" "Let Fuji-nee go!" "You mean that you have no interest in working with another Master?" "just not with you." "It seems that I'm disliked." "That really is a shame." "Had you worked with me" "I would have been willing to share the Grail with you." "I want that kind of help even less." "I promised myself that I'd fight to stop people like you." "The Grail has nothing to do with it!" "What are you... did I touch a nerve?" "saying things that you don't mean." "you are a victim of the Grail yourself." "The Grail has nothing to do with it?" "Does your very utterance of those words not betray your hatred of it?" "Shirou?" "you lost everything." "when Emiya Kiritsugu found you." "being adopted solely for the sake of fighting the next war and having magic forced upon you." "No way." "Emiya-kun?" "Is that true?" "the Grail has always been your hated enemy." "That is the reason that you have every right as recompense for ten years ago." "And the Grail is as good as mine." "Granting your wish would be child's play." "Caster." "The Grail will not appear until but one Servant remains!" "there is a way to claim the Grail without fighting." "I can sense the Grail's inner workings." "Yes... were to assist me" "I could summon the Grail right now." "boy." "do you not?" "Then serve me" "Master of Saber." "Never." "I will not go along with that!" "Are you mad?" "Do you understand your position?" "I won't help a witch who treats people as food." "Your methods are wrong." "And one more thing..." "I wasn't forced to become a mage." "I made the choice on my own to follow my old man's path." "Witch..." "You called me a witch?" "then." "Die here!" "you..." "Saber!" "I'm begging you..." "Stay where you are." "but she... my." "I'd thought you to be utterly irrational don't you?" "Coward." "You're going to kill Shirou in cold blood?" "Of course not." "I will merely strip him of his status as a Master." "but you wish to save this woman." "Does that not imply you are prepared to hand over your Command Seals?" "All right." "How do I do that?" "she'll still— arm and all." "Shirou." "I cannot allow you to continue to play into Caster's hands." "I agree." "do you honestly think she's the sort who would release a hostage?" "right?" "Shirou!" "You don't have to go to such extremes to help others!" "I do!" "I don't have to think twice." "You truly are a foolish child!" "so die!" "No..." "Stop!" "Saber!" "Saber!" "Are you surprised?" "Rule Breaker." "It nullifies any and all magic cast in this world..." "The dagger of betrayal and negation!" "The pact has been forged." "I am now your Master." "You are now as I am." "and pledge your blade to me." "and you've taken a Servant?" "I have made her my familiar." "Saber now belongs to me." "little fool." "Fuji-nee!" "Fuji-nee..." "Are you okay?" "Fuji-nee?" "!" "Fuji-nee..." "I think I shall let you go." "it was almost annoying." "However..." "Oh." "I suppose that's how these things usually work." "young lady." "Saber..." "Strike down Archer's Master." "Never!" "Who would obey the likes of you?" "Saber." "As long as I have these Command Seals you cannot defy me in either body or soul!" "Idiot!" "Why did you do that?" "A pity." "Such a waste." "That boy was so fascinating..." "Saber." "Run..." "Shirou!" "We have to get Fuji-nee..." "Just come on!" "Impossible." "Saber's magic resistance is even effective against the binding of a Command Seal?" "I won't let you escape!" "About time!" "My apologies." "Breaking through that Bounded Field took quite a while." "however... take Fujimura-sensei." "while we still can!" "Saber..." "This was for the best." "At least you're alive." "Emiya-kun." "Saber was taken." "That's it?" "Yes." "But we should count our blessings that we know Caster's Noble Phantasm now." "That Caster..." "Always sloppy on the execution." "she might actually be a decent woman." "Archer." "Didn't you support Saber?" "Rin?" "Well..." "Would you believe a woman's intuition?" "No." "Are you even old enough to qualify as a woman?" "you lack feminine charm." "as well." "And additionally... and this is the most damning." "Your appeal is hard to see." "well." "You're finally back to normal." "Aren't you?" "Back to the topic at hand here's the first bit of evidence that you supported Saber." "right?" "No matter how powerful Saber is with your defense." "She caught me by surprise." "I'm vulnerable to unexpected developments." "get off my case." "Evidence number two... you tried to provoke Saber." "Remember?" "That was inarguably out of character for you." "it made perfect sense." "weren't you?" "I'm right?" "I knew it!" "Whether you knew her from your previous life or not it's unusual for you to be so cold to someone." "Is it?" "I think that I respond to everyone in that manner." "You're the only one who thinks that." "The way I see it is you're only awkward when it comes to things relating to yourself." "so they're easily fooled." "have you finally remembered?" "Do you know what land's Heroic Spirit you are?" "right?" "everything is still hazy." "I do have memories of this Saber." "so we couldn't have been very close." "Oh." "how is the guest you brought here?" "she missed anything vital." "his wounds aren't healing at all." "Their pact has been broken so he might have lost the healing ability he'd been getting from Saber." "not him." "I meant the other." "Fujimura-sensei?" "Caster seems to have put her under a sleeping spell but she has lots of energy." "she could sleep a week without any problems." "she might jump out of bed at any moment!" "but what that woman casts are more like curses than spells." "The simplest way to break it is to kill the one who cast it." "That's true." "Defeating Caster is our top priority." "I know." "I want to do it before Saber falls completely under her control." "Understood." "Then your pact with that boy is also over." "Huh?" "correct?" "What's this?" "Surely you aren't going to say that you mean to look after him as a fallen comrade." "Hardly." "I'm not that big a pushover." "then?" "It isn't over yet." "my promise stands." "I can reject him all I want but nothing is over until he says he wants to quit." "Rin..." "Archer?" "What else can I do?" "I know painfully well you are that sort of person." "Archer!" "Huh?" "Where..." "No one's here?" "she's out there by herself..." "Sorry..." "I made a mess..." "Tohsaka." "This... looks familiar." "right." "It's the same as the one from that night." "Don't do this to me..." "Why are you here?" "to be here?" "There's still a way." "Damn..." "Why did she do that?" "She's always going on about debts and favors..." "But this is one debt I can never repay." "Tohsaka..." "Assassin?" "I said that I desire you to continue guarding the front gate." "you see." "so I struck it down." "Is this something used by your kind?" "it is a familiar used for spying." "That young lady has terrible luck." "I would have taken her for my pupil." "Assassin." "Guard the gate with your life." "this person whom you address as "Kojirou" does not truly feel alive." "is it not?" "Don't quibble." "You are a Servant that I summoned." "I shall simply eliminate you right now." "I see..." "Goodness." "My life is as insubstantial as the shimmering heat haze but I would rather it not be extinguished just yet." "I do have a promise to keep." "Then hold your tongue." "Your only concern is guarding this place." "Caster?" "but you are acting on your own authority far too much." "I imagine your errand tonight is also without your Master's knowledge." "Caster..." "Silence." "The next time you make me repeat myself" "I'll eliminate you without waiting out the next five days." "dear..." "I see." "Fear not." "I understand." "yes?" "Yours is a touching tale." "I only hope that your love for your lord reaches the man." "must you..." "I am a sore loser." "Allow me these poor jests." "On my blade no matter who they may be." "But where are you going?" "You don't trust my protection?" "Of course not." "You are merely my insurance." "either." "I no longer need to make this rustic place my temple." "A change of base?" "Meaning that you have no further use for me." "There is a sacred spot superior to this mountain?" "there is a place that suits me perfectly." "I am leaving to claim my prize early." "the Grail and even a new pawn in the form of Saber." "even my reluctant Master will be unable to object to my plan of action." "I will have nothing to fear." "no matter who they may be." "Caster." "my good overseer of this mad ritual?" "Caster?" "neutral territory." "no Servant may enter this place." "The rules have changed." "Command Seals?" "Saber..." "Saber is now my puppet." "I take it?" "The outcome of this war is as good as decided." "Is there something wrong with coming to claim my prize early?" "Indeed there is." "The Grail will not appear until but one Servant remains." "surely you were made aware of this at the time of your summoning." "the Grail did say that." "It ordered me to go forth and slay the other Heroic Spirits to activate the Grail." "However does it not?" "where is the Lesser Grail?" "aren't you?" "There is no Holy Grail here." "Do you wish to die?" "Don't make idle threats." "Princess of Colchis." "do you?" "right?" "No one will interfere." "I see." "But I wonder how long his luck will hold." "Tohsaka..." "Where are you?" "Why are you here?" "Go home." "but you're being a nuisance." "remember?" "Forget about that promise." "what can you possibly do?" "You've lost Saber." "I... there's no need for you to fight now." "You aren't a Master anymore." "and you'll be safe." "Don't be stupid." "I can't leave Saber like that!" "I'm gonna fight to the bitter en—" "Take a look." "but that's what happens without her." "for all your talk about Saber what happens to her is none of your concern now." "I have to help." "Saber didn't want to go." "No way am I gonna let someone like that take control of her!" "I see." "But you are powerless." "let me spell it out for you." "you cannot do anything to help Saber." "That's all there is to say." "and you're no longer a Master." "There's no more reason for you to involve yourself in the Holy Grail War death match so you should retire now." "Tohsaka!" "Even if that's true... what are you thinking?" "Involve yourself any further and you'll die." "that you're right?" "I comprehend the situation." "Has the matter outside been resolved?" "get back!" "didn't you?" "Let us reenact a battle from myth!" "Archer..." "You're..." "You can't be... 1)}Broadcast Starts April 2015"

"She came..." "Just like you wanted." "So Jesse..." "What happened?" "He got beat up at school." "Was it Nate?" "He was like..." ""Meet me in the men's room"." "Just kept hitting me and hitting me." "They said maybe if he talked to a professional person..." "Don't sweat it." "I'll be out your head long before all that." " Where is your royal highness going?" " To Westchester." " Why not Paris?" " Because Karen doesn't" " live in Paris." " Who is Karen?" "My birth mother!" "She called me and she wants me back!" "I think you're terriffyied that they are gonna pull away..." "You saw her leave." "Where do you imagine she went?" "I bet she's at church's." "She's like begging the priest to take her back as we speak." "( Sneezes )" "( Theme music playing )" "So how was your week?" "Kind of weird." " Are you looking for something?" " Yeah." "I got a letter this week... in the mail." "That hasn't happened to me since my grandparents were alive." "Can I ask you who it from?" "My birth father." "( Sneezes )" "Are you okay?" "I'm sorry." "It's... it's an allergy." "( Chuckles )" "( Clears throat )" "I'm sorry." "So this... ( sniffles )" "This letter." " Yeah." " When did it arrive?" "A few days ago." "Well, I'd love to know what it says." "He says he married my birth mother." "That's a bit of a shock." "Uh, yeah, tell me about it." "He says they got pregnant with me when they were, like, 17." "17." "They split up for a while and then they got back together after college and now they're married." "Wow." "Um..." "It says he's writing on her behalf..." "Karen's." "Says she doesn't know about it." "He says she's really depressed right now because I haven't responded to her phone call and it's almost my birthday and she always gets really depressed around my birthday." "Blah blah blah." "Anyway, he wants me to write back and say, like, yes, I'll be in contact with you or no, go fuck yourselves." "I'm paraphrasing." "He says he loves me." "What a fucking retard." "I think they might be kind of assholes, these people." "Guess what else?" "I'm getting a "b" in algebra." "A "b"?" "That's... that's great." "A "b" is a fucking miracle." "We have to take these multiple-choice tests because my teacher Mr. Nelson is, like, too lazy to grade a fucking... anyway, it doesn't matter." "The point is, he puts the answer sheets through these machines and they come out the other end." "Usually if there are a lot of mistakes it takes a really long time and the machine makes all these beeping noises." "Mine just kind of zipped out the other end." "( Laughs )" "Mr. Nelson looked shocked." "Did you study for this test?" "Yeah, why?" "Then not such a miracle really." "Roberto helped me." "Oh." "He helped you study?" "So you must have told him about being suspended." "What?" "Oh yeah." " And how did he take that?" " It was no big deal." "Hmm." "Last week you seemed really nervous about telling him." "You were afraid that he might become violent." "That was a joke." "Jesus, why am I the only one with a sense of humor around here?" "Okay, but I still think that you were nervous about how he would react." "Fine." "I was, I guess." "But he was cool." "He can be cool." "( Distant siren wailing )" "Hmm." "Did you talk to him about what happened at the Whitney?" " Yup." " And about Nate?" "I told him that Nate kicked the shit out of me, yes." " And did you tell him why?" " 'Cause I'm gay." "Did you tell him that you and Nate were... that Nate was, um... did you tell him that Nate was fellating you?" "What?" "Um..." "Do you have a merriam-Webster dictionary around here?" "I'm sorry, I just..." "I don't know what that word means." "Oh, come on, Jesse." "You know very well what the word means." "No, Paul, I did not tell my father that Nate was sucking my dick." " Why not?" " Why would I?" "Do you think he wants to know?" "I mean, would you want to know if your kid... you had no problem telling your mother." " That's different." " And why is that?" "Can't you just leave it alone?" "Can't it just be a nice thing that my dad helped me study and I got a "b"?" "It is a nice thing, Jesse." "Yes." "He's really good at math, my dad." "He must have been proud of that "b."" "Yeah." "I mean, he would have rather it was an "a,"" "but sure." "So can we go back to your birth father's letter for a moment?" "If you want." "So... so what's his name?" "Um, Kevin." "( Chuckles )" "Kevin and Karen." "God, that's pathetic, right?" "Last week you told Marisa that you were gonna live with Karen." "This week your attitude towards her seems to have changed." "Uh..." "I just think it's really inappropriate of him to contact me." " Inappropriate?" " Yeah." "I mean, what the fuck?" "I'm a minor, for Christ's sake." "What they're doing is illegal." "I mean, they gave me up." "They didn't want me." "And, like, now that somebody else has raised me for 17 years and, like, fed me and clothed me and kept me alive and everything... now suddenly they want back in?" "No, sorry." "That is not how it works." "And how do you think it works?" "People have one set of parents." "One." "Not two." "And I've already got mine." "But do you think Karen and Kevin really want to be your parents?" "Isn't it possible that they might be looking for some other kind of relationship?" " Like what?" " Like friendship." "Maybe they just want to get to know you." "( Thunder rumbles )" "Do your parents know that you got a letter from Kevin?" "I wrote a response." " Do you want to hear it?" " Sure." ""Dear Kevin, thank you for contacting me regarding my origins." "I apologize for causing Karen pain and I understand your request." "However, I think you should know that Karen's call caused significant distress to my adoptive parents who have taken the trouble to care for me for the last 17 years." "I hope therefore that you understand that at the present time" "I do not wish to be in contact with you." "I respectfully request that you do not reinitiate contact with my current place of residence out of respect for its inhabitants." "Sincerely, Jesse Saul D'amato."" "I took an Adderall to write it." "I think it came out pretty well." "Thank you for reading it to me." "It's, um..." "( Clears throat )" "It's pretty formal." "Yeah, but I mean, why not, right?" "I'm smart and they should know that." " Do you want them to know that?" " It's a fact, right?" "What, you don't think I'm smart?" " I didn't say that, Jesse." " Look, I don't really care." "I just..." "So you don't like the letter?" "( Thunder rumbles )" "When you came in today," "I asked you how the past week had been and you said it was weird." "Yeah, so?" "So apart from this letter arriving, did anything else happen during the week that was weird?" "I don't know, man." "Marisa." "Marisa was fucking weird." " What do you mean?" " What do you think I mean?" "What, she turned green?" "She was speaking in tongues?" "No, she won't get out of bed, okay?" "Is that weird enough for you?" "Okay, I can see why you would think that was weird." "And then when I asked her if everything was okay she just told me she was sick and asked me to close the door." "You don't think she's sick though." "I don't know." "I don't know what's the matter with her." "And you haven't spoken at all about Karen's phone call?" "No." "It's like the whole conversation never happened." "You said in the letter that Karen's phone call caused "significant distress" to your parents." " Yup." " Your parents." "Marisa told Roberto." "( Huffs ) He blew a gasket." "He said it was totally inappropriate of them to do something like that." "He said it was probably illegal." "I mean, he said he was gonna call the cops." "He didn't, but..." "God, I have never seen him that mad." "He's really not an angry guy." "I was kidding about all that stuff I said last week." "I mean, he's Italian, you know, so he obviously has a temper." "But it takes a lot to set him off." " I used to try when I was a kid." " Why?" "I don't know." "Just to, like, see where his breaking point was." "You said earlier on that you were a lot closer to your father" "and that something changed;" "That he became more distant." "Yeah, but I mean, I understand." "He was building his business." "I mean, my grandfather was dying." "He had to start taking more jobs out of town." "Sounds like you've missed him." "This sudden display of emotion, him getting angry when he heard about Karen's call..." " I mean, that must have felt..." " What?" "Well, why don't you tell me?" "( Thunder rumbling )" "It felt..." "Fucking awesome." "Why?" "Because he gave a fucking shit." "Do you think it's possible then that his reaction has influenced your response to Kevin's letter?" " No." " No?" "What part of that word don't you understand?" "Look, Jesse, you realized that Karen's phone call was causing your mother and your father pain." "So it's understandable if you felt responsible..." " I don't." " Okay." "Look, they raised me." "They wiped my ass." "They taught me to read." "I mean, they changed my sheets every time I wet the bed, which I did until I was 10, by the way." "So it is completely ridiculous for these people... strangers... to think that they can just waltz back into my life after they gave me up for dead and have a relationship with me." "Relationships have to be earnt." " That is true." " I know." " Gave you up for dead?" " ( Scoffs )" "It's a figure of fucking speech." "Is it your figure of speech?" "Do you feel that you were difficult to raise?" " ( Laughs ) Come on, man." " Is that a yes?" "I have a.D.D. And I'm a slut." "Would you have wanted a kid like me?" "Yes." "Well..." "Give your son another year or two and maybe you'll get your wish." "So how did your father react to Kevin's letter?" "Jesse?" "He didn't." " He didn't have any reaction?" " No." "I didn't tell him." " Why didn't you tell him?" " I just didn't feel like it." "I mean, he got so angry about Karen's phone call." "I mean, it's not really any of his business anyway." "What is it, Jesse?" "Nothing." "Why are you shaking your head?" "I don't know." "You must be feeling an incredible amount of pressure right now." "How is the static?" "It's fucking loud, man." "I think he's left-handed like me." "Kevin?" "Yeah." "There's smudge marks on his letter, like what happens to me when I write." "Look." "And, um..." "Here's mine." "Fuck." "They do... they do kind of look alike." "Fuck!" "What am I supposed to do with that information?" "Oh, let me guess." "You want me to tell you." "Yes, I would." "It's a unique experience, Jesse." "Not many people have gone through this." "I want to know how it feels." "So yes, I would like you to tell me." "Do you think he looks, like, exactly like me?" "No." "But he's probably pretty similar looking, right?" "Maybe you look more like Karen." "Karen." "Jesus." "I think there's a part of you that's still interested in a private relationship with Kevin and Karen independent of your parents." "In" " I think that worries you." "Wi- why would it worry me?" "Because I just think that ever since your father found out about Karen's phone call he's been paying much more attention to you." "He got angry, but his anger seems to have comforted you." "It seems that this reaction is what you've been looking for since you were a kid." "Because to you it's a sign that he cares." "And it might seem right now that the way to gain and keep his love is to just reject Kevin and Karen." "And the way to lose his love perhaps is to reach out to them." "You know that little theory you had last week?" "The one where Marisa gave up on catholicism because the church didn't support my sexual identity?" " Mm-hmm." " It's horseshit." "Yeah, I went into her room today to see if she needed anything because she hasn't left the bed in a week." "She wasn't in there but the closet door was a little open." "And she was in there on her knees praying." "( Chuckles ) God." "Can you believe it?" "In the fucking closet." "I come out and she goes in." "Why do you think she's doing that?" "I guess she doesn't want me to interrupt her little tete-a-tete with Jesus." "I think your mother is really scared right now." " What the hell does she have to be scared of?" " Losing you." "Maybe she feels you're slipping away from her." "And it's possible that she might be turning to religion, to her relationship with God, because that provides her with some kind of comfort and a sense of control." "She doesn't want you to see her praying because she's afraid you'll think she's choosing the church over you." "( Thunder rumbles )" "I can't believe they married each other." "Yeah." "I can't believe I have a whole other set of parents out there somewhere." "What do you think their house is like?" "I don't know." "Anyway, I think that we should... we should talk about it next week." "Let's both think about how you want to respond to your birth parent's letter, if that's what you decide to do." "Okay." "You know," "I kind of feel like it's all gonna be okay for some reason." "I don't know why." "Good." "Oh wait..." "your letters." "Um, will you keep them for me?" "Sometimes Marisa goes through my bag." "Okay." "Thanks." "( Theme music playing )"

"What's the problem?" "You know what's the problem." "It is nice." "Rhythmic." "I don't like it." "It unstrings me." "Why not work with something more... pop?" "You're not ready for something more pop." "If you really want to know what the real problem is, I'm going to tell you." "The problem is you don't trust me." "The problem is... you believe I'm not yet ready for something more pop while I am." "If you raise your voice to me again..." "I'll take a juggling club to smash your head." "And, then, I'll break your arms and legs." "And then you won't be able to work with "something more pop"." "In fact, you won't be able to work with anything at all." "Either rock or fox-trot, either latin or whatever." "I know very well when one is ready for pop." "I'm sorry." "You know very well when one is ready for pop." "What's your name?" "Mary." "Mary or Maria?" "How do they usually call you?" " Mary." " I'm going to call you Maria." "Have you got any brothers and sisters?" "No." "Maria, you have been badly hit." "The chances of dying are high." "If I asked you now to pick an actor, whom you'd say?" "Who's your favorite?" "Well, I'll tell you names." "If I find it, wave to me." "Brad Pitt." "No?" "Johnny Depp?" "What?" "Not even Johnny Depp?" "We've brought a young girl, around 16 years old." "Car accident." "Internal haemorrhage, broken ribs." "She plays tennis." "Maybe for several years, cause her racket was quite lightweight." "Was she taken to surgery?" "Yes." " Any relatives?" " Her parents are notified." "Where's she going to?" "To room 205." "OK." "She has no brothers or sisters." "Her favorite actor is Jude Law." "OK." "Brown-haired?" "Blonde?" "Brunette?" "Dark brown, though her head was covered in blood..." "I think, dark brown." " Do you want some coffee?" " Yes." " There's inside." " Shall I take your cup?" "Only for today." "Tomorrow, I'll bring mine." "What's yours like?" "I'm asking for not to mess it with another that looks alike." "Blue with red letters." "What's written on it?" ""Los Angeles"." "No, there's no other like it." "In these occasions you need stay calm... however hard it's what I'm saying." " Have you got any other kids?" " No." "Everything's going to be all right." "She'll make it." "She seems a tough nut to crack." "She's a sportswoman." "She plays tennis." "That's very good." "I play tennis too." "I've surely suffered an injury that held me back... but for the last two years I'm getting better." "My wife is a former tennis champion." "I don't want you to worry." "We're going to do everything we can." "You're daughter is going to be all right." "She'll come back to the tennis court sooner than you may realize." "And you won't even remember all this." "I want you to make me a favor." "This is her favorite wristband." "She used to wear it in every match." "I want you to give it to her." "It will give her strength." "I don't know if it's allowed to wear it." "There's no problem." "You may give it yourself to her whenever you see her." "Thank you." "Hi, dad." "You're late." "It's just five minutes to ten." "It's 10:10!" " There was heavy traffic." " I was worried." "I'm sorry." "I don't mind that you're being late." "Just warn me about." "I'm sorry." "I go to bed." "Do you want me for something else?" "Tomorrow it's going to rain." "Take your jacket with you." "OK." "Good night." "Good night." "Today is a special day." "As you know, we've been long looking for a good-sounding and suitable name for our team." "After a lot of thought, I ended up to the name "Alps"." "Alps?" "Yes, Alps." "Why Alps?" "Alps, for two important reasons." "The first one... it doesn't by any means reveal what exactly we are doing." "And the second one is purely symbolic." "No other mountain can stand in for the mountains of the Alps." "Anything else would be smaller and less imposing." "Therefore a poor substitute." "What is amazing with the mountains of the Alps is... that while can not be replaced by any other... they can stand in for all the others." "Who could mind seeing in the place of Ararat or Mount McKinley... the Alps?" "Would you mind?" "Neither could I." "Besides, I will take the name of the highest mountain of the Alps... which is called Mont Blanc." "What about us?" "You may choose names among the smaller mountains." "Do you know them?" "Monte Roza, Dom..." "Weisshorn, Matterhorn..." "Finsteraarhorn..." "Aletschhorn..." "Barre des Ecrins..." "Gran Paradiso, Piz Bernina and one more." "Weissmies." "I've printed copies for you." "I'd like to take Matterhorn." "That's good." "Why?" "It reminds my father." "When I was very small, we had gone there for excursion." "Where to?" " Matterhorn!" " In Switzerland?" "At the foot of the mountain." "Good evening." "Good evening." "Just a moment." "I'm coming." " Good evening, sir." " Good evening." " Take a seat." " Thank you." "I've brought you the list you asked and the photo." "Very nice." " Don't you have a closer one?" " Unfortunately no." " A captain." " A captain of the merchant navy." "These are sub-lieutenant's badges." "The photo is old." "I couldn't find a more recent one." "He used to wear glasses." "I couldn't find them." "But you have to." "I'm going to look over again." "We can't replace them with others." "It wouldn't be plausible." "I'm going to look over again." "Zachos." "Yes." "Any relation with the chop-house in Varkiza?" "No, no." "It's just a coincidence." "Did you know each other for years?" "We were friends for about 20 years." "From higher school." "Cause of death?" "Heart failure." "Favorite food?" "Not something special." "Maybe he liked spaghetti a bit more." "Plain spaghetti?" " With tomato sauce." " Alla Napoletana." "Yes, alla Napoletana" "Don't get upset." "He was using very frequently the word "yet", before any sentence." "That is, he was saying "yet, today it's very windy"." "Or "yet, see you later."" "Or "yet, today it's too cold."" "Got it." "Favorite foreign actor?" "It was Morgan Freeman." "He liked going to the movies alone." "He went to see all his movies." "He was usually going alone." "Is it too small?" " Yes." " I think so, too." "We'll have it remade." "Is it that your hair is too thick?" "No, it's not that." "My friend had no hair." " Does this bother you?" " No." "I don't think so." "No." "Very nice." "If he wore glasses, he would be completely different." "I'll look again." "I'll find them." " You have to." " I'll do it." "Hello!" "Darling, Anna came." "My beloved friend." "Come on." "Take a seat." "What a pleasant surprise!" "I wasn't expecting you." " I missed you." " I missed you, too." "Anything you want?" "Some tea?" " Tea." " Good." " Come on." " Thank you." "How are you?" " I'm fine." " I'm glad to hear it." "Hello there." "How are you, Anna?" "It is so long." "We've admittedly missed you." "I'm all right." " Isn't it a fine day, today?" " Indeed." "I go to the office." "I've some important business." " Will you be late?" " Yes, I'll be back very late at night." "Good!" "I'll make your favorite food." "Schnitzel with mashed potatoes?" "Perfect!" "I don't know what I could do without him." "You're very lucky." " Do you want me to read for you?" " Yes." "I'd like it." "A book or a magazine?" "A magazine." ""Fashion trends of the Summer"" ""Gianfranco Ferre:" "The King Is Naked."" ""Trip to Guatemala:" "Exotic and unknown."" " "Interview:" "Winona Ryder."" " This one!" ""Tell me how do you start your day?"" ""If I'm not working, I get up around ten o' clock... and prepare a cup of tea." "Then, I sit down and read NY Times." "For the rest of the morning I make my phone calls... and arrange several tasks." "When I am in Los Angeles... some times, I take a long walk around my house... either to refresh myself or in the evening to relax."" "I've got a surprise for you." "Close your eyes." "Do you like it?" "Isn't it awesome?" "Sorry." "It's amazing we've become friends." "Would you like me to sit next to you to talk just for a while?" "I want you to know that whatever you have to say to me," "I won't say a word to your parents." "It's going to stay between us." "Are you possibly pregnant?" "Don't get upset!" "After all, you are too young to have a child." "You got a lot of time ahead of you." "Now, you must focus in your homework and tennis." "I also want you to know that if you were pregnant you shouldn't dye your hair." "It's too dangerous." "Besides, your natural color is very nice." "It's dark brown, isn't it?" "What happened?" "Nothing." "What happened?" "I couldn't say something I had to." "What was that you couldn't say it?" ""Grandpa look here a nice cup for your coffee or your tea."" "And Grandpa, what did he do?" "He got upset." "And you?" "Me?" "Nothing." "I left." "Don't speak to Mont Blanc about it." "Please." "He won't give me the girl with the car accident, if you speak to him about." "You're the King of the coaches." "You're the best..." "You're the best coach in the world." "It is impossible not to say it." "I'm sorry." "It is wonderful!" "Is it cold?" "No, not at all." "Come out now." "It's getting late." "We have to leave." "Just a little longer." "Please." "A little longer." "All right." "Cold is a word but winter swimmers don't know it." "It's an odd fate that you can not eat ice-cream." "Because of your diabetes." "But you hate chocolate anyway." "I would have a different flavor like strawberry which is my favorite." "There's no point to talk about it." "The doctor was quite clear on it." "You're right." "How about a walk on the beach?" "That's a wonderful idea!" "Light fittings fall into three main categories." "Domestic interior, domestic exterior and professional." "Then, there are various subcategories... such as ceiling lamps... shade lamps, wall lamps... modern chandeliers, classic chandeliers... rack-lighting, uplighters... spotlights, pendant lamps and floor lamps." "Repeat them back to me." "Wall lamps, ceiling lamps... classic chandeliers, modern chandeliers... uplighters... floor lamps, table lamps...." "And pendant lamps." "And pendant lamps." "Uplighters..." "and uplighters..." "Once more in the evening." "This evening we have a ball." " What types of dances do you dance?" " Various." "Blues, tango, waltz..." "And latin?" "And latin." " Nice." " Will you come?" "I will come." "Are you ready?" "Now." "Your daughter lost in the most important the most important match of her life." "I'm very sorry." "My condolences." "Nonetheless, keep in mind... death is not the end." "On the contrary." "It is a new, often a better start." "Your daughter fought hard but the opponent was stronger." "She was a remarkable person that everybody will remember." "I'm sure about that." "And now, I got something very pleasing to tell you." "I myself can replace her if you want it." "You're grief will ease and after a while... will disappear completely." "A couple of two-hours visits a week are enough." "The end can be a new, better start." "It's up to you." "For the first four visits you won't be charged." ""Grandpa look here a nice cup for your coffee or tea."" "As soon as Granma sees it, she will surely feel jealous." "but never mind... because I bought her a gift too, this wallet here... which has a coin compartment and a photo holder." ""Grandpa, look here a nice cup for your coffee or your tea."" "The girl with the car accident is getting much better and doctors say that she has overcome the danger." "They speak of a miracle." "What a pity." "Indeed." "Again." ""Grandpa, look here a nice cup for your coffee or tea."" "As soon as Granma sees it, she will surely feel jealous but... never mind because I bought her as a gift this wallet which has a coin compartment and a photo holder." "However, you lost a great deal by not coming." "It was wonderful and the view from the room was amazing." "You won't be paid this month." "I'll keep your money." "Repeat and clearer." ""Grandpa, look here a nice cup for your coffee or tea."" "As soon as Granma sees it, she will surely feel jealous... but never mind because I bought her too..." "What's the matter with her?" "She made a mistake." "Has it happened before?" "This is the second time." "With the grandpa again." "The man who cut my hair for the last twelve years died yesterday." "He had no relatives." "I went to the hair salon today and he was not there." "He was the only one to cut my hair." "No one else." "He was always taking care of my side-burns to be at the exact same length." "Both of them." " Are they now at the same length?" " Don't know." "They're not." "I've not gone for a long time." "I never fixed an appointment without him being there." "I was on any occasion arranging it when he was there." " Are you going to attend the funeral?" " No." " Why?" " I don't go to funerals." " How did he die?" " Heart failure." "You danced very nice." "Thank you very much." "Your escort was amazing too." "We always dance together." "Do you know each other for a long time?" "Almost five months." "Do you like her?" "She's very likeable." "What's the time?" "I didn't know you are so good a dancer." "We used to dance with your mother as well." "Save for latin." "She hated latin." "You should always tie your hair back." " These are not tennis shoes!" " I see." "What is your shoe size?" "Thirty-eight or thirty-nine." "As the case may be." "This is incredible." "This is perfectly fit to me." "Incredible." "That's her perfume, "Eternity"." "It was a gift by her boyfriend." "You have to meet him someday." "I was quite sure I will drive her off." "I knew it." "Her reverse forehand was lousy..." "I knew it right from the start she was hopeless!" "Do you want some water?" "No, dad." "Thanks." "You usually drink a plenty of water after the match." "It's OK." "Thank you." "Bite your nails a bit." "That's enough." "I like last replacement a lot." " The blind one?" " Yes." "She lost her vision at an old age." "She hasn't ever told me how." "She's a beautiful woman with vivid colors." "What do you mean "vivid colors"?" "Green eyes, light brown hair." "A peculiar combination." "I go to her house, in Athens center, a maisonette with yard." "She hasn't much furniture not to stumble." " We sit and I play her husband." " Yes, I know." "And I tell her stories for hours." "She likes them a lot." "Whatever comes to mind." "Sometimes, she asks me to kiss her." "And we kiss." " Do you like her." " I like her a lot." "I'm having fun." "I mean, do you like your kissing." "Yes, I like it." "She's an active woman." "Imagine you were blind." "You couldn't do rhythmic gymnastics." "Get out of here." "Collect your things from home and leave." "Go back to Toronto, go wherever you like... so long as I will never see you again." "Fuck you." "You are so controlling." "You make me miserable." "I'm only thinking of your health, idiot!" "But I don't care any more." "Leave and then eat all the cakes and all the deserts you like." "I will leave." "Get out of my sight." "I don't want to see you again." "Get out of here." "Collect your things from home and leave!" "Go back to Toronto, go wherever you like so long as I will never see you again." "Fuck you." "You are so controlling." "You make me miserable." "I'm only thinking of your health!" "But I don't care any more." "Leave and then eat all the cakes and all the deserts you like." "I will leave." "Get out of my sight!" "I don't wanna see you again!" "I'm sorry." "I love you." "I love you too." "I'm only hard on you for your own good." "I know." "If Mont Blanc learns about, there will be a problem." "Our collaboration may be over." "He won't learn anything." "I for one won't tell him anything." "Let your blouse." "Take off your skirt." " The pantyhose?" " Take off the pantyhose, too." "Try not to speak loud." "To be nearly inaudible." "There will only be a moment when you are going to say" ""Please, please don't you stop."" "It feels like heaven."" "That's it." "Please, don't you stop!" "It feels like paradise." "Heaven!" "Please!" "Don't you stop!" "It feels like heaven!" "Please, don't you stop!" "It feels like heaven!" "He said we are never going to work with something more pop." " Why?" " Don't know." "But I can't stand it any more." "What you were about to do it was completely immature." "You're a very good gymnast and it would be a shame to die." "I'm going to speak to him." "Thank you, Monte Roza." "You imagine that's very difficult for him to step back." "But there's nothing to lose giving a try." "Do you want any specific piece of music?" "There are two pieces for me to choose." "I'll do anything you want." "Let her work with a piece that is more pop and I'll do anything." " Anything I want?" " Anything you want." "Think about it." "I thought it over." " Tell me." " Come closer inside." " Come on, Ok?" " Yes." "How could you do it?" "With my husband?" "You, my best friend!" "I hate you both." "Shame on you!" "Get out the way!" "You have a nice body." "You, too." " Are you getting cold?" " No, not in the least." "I've turned the heat on but it's a bit slow to warm up." "I don't mind." "Dad, want to dance with me?" "Not right now." "Some other time." " In the evening?" " In the evening." " You promise me." " I do." "I have to leave." "Stay a little longer, please." "All right." "I say not waiting for her." "She probably won't come" "Agree." "She's too late." "Who's first?" "May I go?" "A man or a woman?" "A man." "I keep waiting for a while." " I don't know." " Neither do I." " It's Prince." " Who?" "Prince." "You can't replace Prince." " Why?" " Prince hasn't died yet." " Prince has died." " Prince is alive." "I'm sorry." "You didn't come to our yesterday meeting." "I know it." "I was just needed to replace a colleague who had something to do." "Here." "That is to say, you were here." "Your cup is cleaned up." "Didn't you drink any coffee all night long?" "I did used it." "I hope you don't mind." "No, it doesn't bother me." "Not at all." "I couldn't find my own." "Anyway it's a shame you didn't come yesterday." "It was so much fun." "Junior replaced Prince who hasn't died." "Isn't Prince dead?" "No." "He's not." "Have you ever seen anyone drinking from my cup?" "That one with the red letters that say "Los Angeles"" "No." "As far as I remember." "That's strange!" "You may take mine whenever you want." "Thank you very much." "I don't smoke." "You better quit smoking too." " Nice shoes." " Thanks." "I watched a movie yesterday with a veteran... whom they called for his last mission." "While he wouldn't initially accept, then he took up arms and went." "I think I've seen it." "Mum, dad, I wasn't expecting you so early." "Vasilis is a friend from school." "All we did was dancing." " Do you want to go to my place?" " Sure." "Hi, dad." "Here's Vasilis." "Vasilis, here's my dad." " Hello." " Hello there." "We're going to sit in my room and listen to music." " If you need something, say it to me." " All right." "If volume's too high, tell me to turn it down." " All right?" " All right." "Volume is high." "Turn it down." "If you're getting cold, tell me to turn the heat on." "I'm not cold." "Vasilis is younger than me but we do match together." "In several things." "We got many common interests." "Music, sports..." "We met at the hospital." "He's a track field athlete." "In the 110 meter hurdles." "In a race he fell down while jumping over the hurdle and suffered a fracture of the pyramidal bone." "I helped put the splint on him and gave him a painkiller." "He is also very good in arts." "He plays the guitar." "They make some covers." "With his band at school." "He is the singer and..." "Hi." "Who is it, darling?" "A schoolmate, mum." "Unfortunately I can't come with you." "I have homework and after that..." "I must attend a very important tennis tournament." "See you tomorrow at school." "We're going to make a test." "We're going to use this object." "If it doesn't change color and stays white, that will automatically mean you are competent and reliable to stay with us." "If it changes... there are two possibilities." "First." "It becomes blue." "If it becomes blue, that will automatically mean... that you are competent but not reliable." "So?" "There's no "so"." "It doesn't matter becoming blue." "I said it just like that." "The second possibility and the worst is... this club to become red." "This will automatically mean you are unreliable and incompetent to stay with us." "Let's see." "It changed." "It became red." "Unfortunately, you must leave." "Drink it up before the ice melts away." "It was very nice." "Who was mother's favorite actor?" "Robert Redford" "Mine, too." "Her favorite singer?" "Harry Belafonte." "Yours?" "Elvis Presley" "Mine, too." "Nice shoes." "Thank you." "I watched a movie yesterday with a veteran... whom they called for one last mission." "While he wouldn't initially accept, then he took up arms and went." "I think I've seen it." "Mum, dad, I wasn't expecting you so early." "Vasilis is a friend." "All we did was dancing." "Nice shoes." "Thank you." "I watched a movie yesterday with a veteran... whom they called for one last mission." "While he wouldn't initially accept, then, he took up arms and went." "I think I've seen it." "Mum, dad, I wasn't expecting you so early." "Dad, can you bring me some water please?" "Dad?" "I'm back." "Can you open for me, please?" "I was very good today." "4-2 in sets." "You're the best coach in the world!"

"OK." "Shot of bourbon." "Beer chaser." "Bloody Mary without Tabasco, and with extra Tabasco." "Coffee." "Cream." "Sugar." "Sweet'N Low." "CC water back." "Pretzels." "Pitcher of water with three glasses." "Those are our drinks." "I'm terribly sorry." "I don't suppose I could impose upon you people to save me a few steps?" "Thanks." "Thank you, really." "Thanks so much." "Free pretzels for everybody." " Afternoon, everybody." " Norm!" "Norman." " Beer, Norm?" " I've heard of that stuff." "Better give me a tall one in case I like it." " Another day, another dollar." " 50 cents after taxes." " Hey, Norm." " Hey, girl." "How's the kids?" "Two of them are ugly, one's obnoxious and one's just stupid." "He's my favourite." " Get me Gus." " Yes, sir." "Right away." "Gus who?" "Don't be a wise guy." "Just get him." "Alright, yes, sir." "Norm, do you know a Gus?" " Gus who?" " He hates that question." "Gus, the owner of this bar." "I know who you mean." "That was two owners ago." "I'll never forget that guy." "He had such a great name." "Gus." "I came from Seattle to talk to him." "Gus is the man." "You got troubles, you take 'em to Gus, he straightens you up." "I've gotta be back in Seattle Thursday night." "Take it easy." "Listen, I managed in the minors, I coached in the majors," "I've been a bartender for five years." "I've had my share of people with problems." "Why not give me a try?" "My son comes home from college with his new fiancé, who's black." "And your son's not?" "Yo, Coach." "Get Gus." "I'll make a few calls." "Good idea." "Give me a Scotch." "I'll be right back." " Holy... !" " What's the matter, Norm?" "Somebody pinch me." "I've got to be hallucinating." "Look at those legs!" "If they're attached to anything, even a truck, I'm gonna marry it." "Please come down here." "Please." "She's coming down here!" "Alright, everybody, just act natural." "This I gotta see." "I don't believe this." "I feel like I've been transported in time back to a fraternity house in the '50s." "Come on, guys." "In this day and age, aren't we beyond ogling women?" "Holy... !" "Norm, is that the one?" " Hi." " Hi." "Excuse me, miss." "The gentleman at the end of the bar would like to buy you an automobile." " May I help you?" " White wine, please." " White wine." " Here, allow me." "I got it." " Thank you very much." " You're very welcome." "Don't get your hopes up, boys." "As soon as Sam comes out here, it's dinner for two at his place." "Come on." "I hardly think that's the sort of woman Sam would go out with." "Listen, she may not be flashy enough for Sammy." "They had Sammy in mind when they built her." "Really?" "I don't buy that." "I know I've only worked here a short time, but it seems to me Sam has more depth than that." "Follow me." "Sam, would you come here a second?" "Carla, never disturb me..." "unless there's a customer." "No, don't drink that." "I've got something much better." "I think you're gonna like this." "It's an amusing little wine." "You like to laugh?" " I love to laugh." "How did you know?" " Call it a hunch." "The great ones make it look so easy." "Is there chance that you and I could go someplace and laugh together?" "My mother told me to watch out for guys in bars." "Well then, let's get out of this bar so you don't have to worry." "I do feel like a movie tonight." "I've been in the mood for a movie all day long." " What kind of movie shall we see?" " Something short." "Could you be a little more specific?" "Does anybody know any good movies?" "What's that new Australian film that's good?" "No." "No Australian films." "I hate subtitles." "This one's no problem." "It's dubbed." "Will you excuse me?" "Diane, can I talk to you in the poolroom?" "Sure." "I'll be right back." "What's your name?" "Brandee." "With two Es." "Brandee with two Es?" "A big company like this, they spelled it wrong." " OK, what was that all about?" " What was what all about?" "All that laughing and stuff?" ""I love to laugh."" " Diane, can we have two beers?" " Coming up." " No." "Not right now." " Sam, we're thirsty." "Drink chalk." "Sam, I didn't mean anything by that." "I laughed." "Life is funny." "Correct me if I'm wrong, but I get the impression that you don't approve of Brandee." "Is that Brandy with a Y or two Es?" "I may be the dim ex-baseball player and you're the postgraduate, but I'm the boss and I didn't hire you as a critic," " I hired you as a waitress." " You'd never know it by me." "Beer." "With two Es." "Will you guys just sit down for a minute, please?" "Thank you." "Why don't you be honest with me?" "You think Brandee's dumb." " I never said that." " But you think she's dumb." " I don't know that I think that." " Diane, she's a tree stump." "Come on." "I guess she'll do until dumb comes along." "Well, thank you very much." "The truth comes out." "She's a total airhead." " Incredible body, no mind." " Who?" "I don't think that." "To you, Brandee's a one-night woman." "Built for cheap laughs, wild times and easy sex." " Where?" " Will you just admit it?" "Sam, I've got a message for you." "Your date, Miss Bigbuckets?" "She told me to tell you she's getting a little "ootsy"." "Get her out." "The customers are warping the wood with their drool." " Diane, come here." "Listen..." " Wait a minute." "I don't mean to criticise." "In a way, I was complimenting you." "You can do better." "I don't want to do better." "There are certain things in this life that I really like, and nobody's gonna change my mind." "I like fun women, hot dogs, game shows." "I don't care what anybody says." "Did you read they found rat parts in hot dogs?" "I like rat parts." "It's my favourite part of the hot dog." "OK." "And one more thing I like." "Brandee." "I sensed something very special going on there." "So if you'll excuse me, that very special somebody is waiting for me." "Fine." " Coach?" " Yeah?" " Where's Brandee?" " She just left with some guy." " She what?" " Looked like the real thing, Sam." "If I see one sign that you're enjoying this, you're in trouble." "How about a couple of beers for the boys in the poolroom?" "OK." "Another beer, Norm?" "Yeah." "One quick one and then it's adios for sure." "Here you go." "No, it's a guy." "Coach, any word from Gus yet?" "Yeah, Leo." "He can't drop by tonight." "He's dead." " Oh, no." " Leo, it happens." "I can't believe it." "Gus is gone?" "Nobody can replace Gus." "Gus had all the answers." "All but one." " What am I gonna do without Gus?" " Leo, will you stop it?" "Ever since you came through that door, it's been Gus, Gus, Gus." "I mean, it's Gus this and Gus that, and I'm fed up with it." "I'm taking you on." "You and all your problems." " Come on, sit down." " I don't know." "Sit, Leo." "Sit!" "Throw your problems on the bar." " Come on, give him a chance." " He's ready for you." "Nothing to be afraid of." "My son comes home from college with his new fiancé, who's black." "I thought about that." "It's a tough one, but I think I've got it." " Wait a minute cos there's more." " No, hold it, Leo." "Leo, it's a problem of communication." "Here's what you do, when you get home, you sit the kids down and say to your boy..." " What's your boy's name?" " Ron." "What's Ron's fiancé's name?" " Rick." " Rick." "So, you say..." "You say, "Rick, Ron..."" "Rick and Ron?" "Suck it up, Coachie." "Hang tough in there." "Leo..." "Leo, if you're that unhappy about it, just throw him out and tell him you never want to see him again." "I can't do that." "I love the kid." " I see what you're saying." " You do?" "What?" "If I can't accept the kid the way he is, I'll lose him." "Boy, that's good." "When you put it that way, what choice do I have?" "Thanks, Coach." "You're not Gus, but you're not bad." "Leo, even Gus isn't Gus any more." " Thanks, Coach." " Alright, Coach!" "Alright, Coach." "You got him." "You really took him." "Took him?" "I had him for breakfast." "Coach, where's Sammy?" "Out, where else?" "Again?" "He's been out with a different dolly every night." "He's overcompensating for feelings of inadequacy with an ostentatious display of hormonal activity." "That's our Sammy." "Let me tell you something." "There are drawbacks to dating beautiful women." "Yeah?" "Like what?" "You can't eat ltalian cos always they're on diets." "You can't go outside cos the wind will muss their hair." "You can't go to hockey games cos they might get hit in the face with a puck." "Where's the fun?" "Carla, the fun's in the fun." "Yes." "Unlimited sex." "The adult male's version of owning a candy store." "But tell me, once you've consumed as much sex for as long as you want it, what would you do then?" "I'd help the poor." " I can't stay long." " One drink." "The man's got a harem." " You all know Debra." " Hi, Coach." "Hi, guys." "Diane, this is Debra." "Debra, this is Diane." " Hi." " Hi." "Debra." " What are you drinking?" " A very dry martini." "That's a very classy order." "We're gonna have a very dry martini." "Nothing for me." "We just back from Symphony Hall." "Heard Mozart's Symphony No.41." "Sometimes called the Jupiter Symphony." "Debra's idea." "I haven't heard a lot of classical music, but I like it." "What was that comment you made in the intermission?" ""Give me a cigarette"?" "Not that one." "The smart one about the music." "Yeah." "I said, "It's hard to believe that all that music could come out of one man's head."" " "One man's head."" " I heard." "Where else could it come out of?" "I read in the programme that Mozart died when he was 35." "Imagine writing all that music before you're 35." "Slow down." "You're giving us too much to think about." "I have got to be going somewhere." "Just as well." "Our heads are spinning." "Wait." "Debra, you forgot your programme." " Thank you." " I love Mozart, too." " This programme's two years old." " Is it?" "Yes." "Well then, Mozart must have been 37 years old when he died." "I didn't say we came straight from the concert." "OK, we went to see Star Wars again and I'm glad." " How did I do?" " Well..." "Thanks." " Don't." " Fine." "I'm gonna play pool." "Carla?" "You've known Sam a long time." "Has he ever had a relationship with an intelligent woman?" "That's the best I've seen." " What about his ex-wife?" " That was his ex-wife." "I'm gonna go back there and talk to him." ""Blonde Chick Dies in Billiard Accident."" " Sam?" " Go away." "I'm reading Plato." " May I speak with you for a moment?" " No." "I came in to cheer you up a little." "I know why you brought Debra here." "You're trying to prove you date smart women." "No, I brought Debra here for a drink." "This is a bar." "Come on." " No, it's a bar." "Is this a bar?" " Yes." "Excuse me." "I sense that you're unhappy right now." "Unhappy?" "I'm not unhappy." "I'm on top of the world." "What a life I lead." "Tomorrow, I'm going out with a girl who wears a pinwheel hat." "Would you stop making jokes and talk to me?" "OK, I'm all cheered up now." "You can leave." "Thanks." "Why are you so upset?" "This week, I have gone out with all the women I know." "All the women I really enjoy." "All of a sudden, all I can think about is how stupid they are." "My life isn't fun any more, and it's because of you." " Because of me?" " Yeah." "You're a snob." " A snob?" " Yeah, that's right." "Well, you're a rapidly ageing adolescent." "Well, I would rather be that than a snob." " And I would rather be a snob." " Well, good, because you are." "Do yourself a favour." "Go back to your tootsies and your rat parts." "I'd hate to see the bowling alleys close on my account." "Wait a minute." "Are you saying that I'm too dumb to date smart women?" "I'm saying that it would be very difficult for you." "A really intelligent woman would see your line of BS a mile away." "You think so?" "Well, I've never met an intelligent woman that I'd want to date." "On behalf of the intelligent women around the world, may I just say..." "Well, come on." "Wait." "It depends what kind we're talking about." " Just the average." " Any kind." "You take your average whale's intestines and stretch 'em out, you're looking at three miles and change." "You win again, Coach." "This man knows his animal kingdom." "It's getting late." "It's about time this old cowpoke moseyed off to the bathroom." "Black Label over, Bloody Mary, a shot of vodka." "Look, I am sorry." "I said a lot of stupid things." "I shouldn't have." "I apologise." "I was kind of upset." "OK, I'm sorry, too." "We both got a little carried away." "Especially you." " Well, I'll be darned." " What?" " Nothing." "I just noticed something." " What?" "I guess I've never looked into your eyes." "Something wrong with them?" "No." "I just don't think I've ever seen eyes that colour before." "Matter of fact, I don't think I've ever seen that colour before." "Yes, I have." "Where?" "I was on a ski weekend up at Stowe." "I was coming in late one day, last person off the slope as the sun had just gone down." "The sky became this incredible colour." "I usually don't notice things like that, and I found myself walking around in the cold, hoping that it wouldn't change, wishing that I had somebody there to share it with." "Afterwards, I tried to convince myself that I'd imagined that colour, that I hadn't seen it, that nothing on this earth could be that beautiful." "Now I see I was wrong." "Wouldn't work?" "What?" "An intelligent woman would see right through that." "In a minute." "Damn."

"1x29" " Rad" "Hurry!" "We need to put distance between us and the ship's compromised power core." "And set up the beacon!" "Mayday!" "Mayday!" "This is Magister Arnux." "Incursean forces ambushed our... we are stranded in system." "Atmosphere here is... do not attempt rescue." "No Plumbers are safe in Incursean space." "Repeat, no Plumbers are safe ..." "♪ Ben 10 ♪" "♪ he's a kid, and he wants to have fun ♪" "♪ but when you need a superhero, he gets the job done ♪" "♪ Ben 10 ♪" "♪ with a device that he wears on his arm ♪" "♪ he can change his shape and save the world from harm ♪" "♪ when trouble's taking place ♪ ♪ he gets right in its face ♪" "♪ Ben 10 ♪" "♪ when lives are on the line ♪ ♪ it's hero time ♪" "♪ Ben 10 ♪" "Do not attempt rescue." "Repeat, no Plumbers are safe ..." "That was the last transmission from Magister Arnux and his recon team." "We got a fix on their location." "The beacon originated from Terminus III." "Um, what's the big deal?" "We can be there in no time." "Besides the fact that it is located deep within" "Incursean Empire space, the air of Terminus III is one of the most toxic in the universe." "Arnux and his squad will not survive for long." "The atmosphere will eventually dissolve their rebreathers." "And there's only one known antidote to that poisonous atmosphere." "The Gracklflint." " The Gracklflint." "Of course." "I had one of those last week." "It is a creature, Ben." "Gracklflint venom has unusually curative powers ... but only when fresh." " Great." "So where can you fresh Gracklflint venom at this hour?" "You can sure find weird stuff for sale in Undertown." "A Gracklflint is not weird ..." "just atypical." "Which is weird." "Honestly, Blukic, you should hear yourself sometimes." "Magister Tennyson, Ben and I are ready to make the journey, but if no Plumber ship can get through the Incursean blockade..." "I've arranged some alternate transportation." "This would go a lot quicker if somebody was helping!" "Our transportation is here." "Our ride's in a black hole?" "Great!" "So what are we doing in Undertown?" "Not a black hole ..." "the black hole." "Wait here." ""Wait here." Has he ment me?" "Easy for you to say." "Magister Tennyson said our pilot is the best in the business." "That's... not guacamole." "What kind of business?" "If he hangs out in this place, he must be one tough dude." "Dudesman." "Rad Dudesman." "You're Plumbers?" "You're a duck!" "Ben." " Oh." "Sorry." "But come on!" "A duck?" "Am I the only one seeing this?" "Got a problem with ducks, Rockhead?" " Not yet." "Uh, captain Dudesman, Sir, this rockhead is" "Ben Tennyson, wielder of the Omnitrix." "Thought you'd be taller." "Magister Tennyson said the Lovely Duck would be perfect for our needs." "Your ship's called the Lovely Duck?" "You're kidding, right?" "Two things I never kid about my ship." "What's the other thing?" "Seriously ... what?" "Wake up, Pyxi." "Customers." "...piano." "...temecula." "Yes, Pyxi, they're redspots." "But they'paying redspots." "Onboard A.I. computer." " Why not?" "An Enaxian halo grid wired to the gyro axle?" "Our friend here is either a genius or totally insane." "Guess which one I vote for." "...mesquite." "Time to go." "Uh, this isn't anything important, is it?" "I'm impressed." "Hmph!" "All yours, Pyxi." "...penultimate." "...very, very, not as I do." "What?" "What did she say?" "Trouble?" ""Trouble" is my middle name." "A stowaway, perhaps?" " Not on my ship." "Oh, man!" "Ha!" "Gotcha!" "Pax?" "!" "Hey, man!" "That's just wrong, zapping a dude when ..." "What are you doing on the Lovely Duck?" "Well, somebody needed to be sure the poor little guy was treated right." "Who?" "Rad Dudesman?" " The Gracklflint, man!" "I'm here to, you know, look after his interests." "The Gracklflint has only one interest ... kiling everything that isn't a Gracklflint." "That's no reason to put it in a box, Plumber man!" "See here, you chlorophyll-addled animal-rights clown..." "Rook!" "We don't have time for this." " Yes." "Of course not." "We must get to the stranded Plumbers immediately." "Hey!" "Watch the tubers!" " It's just a good thing we got here before Pax could let it out of its cage." "...or, you know, just after." "On behalf of the Gracklflint, I'd like to make a formal complaint!" "Shut it." " Shut it." "...heliotrope." "...so I bit him." "What did she say?" "We have lost power." "We are coming to a stop." "You understand Rad Dudesman's onboard whatchimahoozie?" "Not in the slightest." "Look." "How much more Gracklflint can this boat handle before we don't make it to those stranded Plumbers?" "Commander Raff!" "A small privateer has stalled, four units away." "Probably just refugees." "But it could be a booby trap from one resister or another." "You'd better vaporize it." "No!" "Wait!" "If Princess Attea doesn't get a full report on what it was, there's gonna be yelling ..." "more than usual." "Yes, commander." "What should we do?" "What you think we should do?" "No!" " No!" "Rad!" "Careful!" " We need the venom." "Pax!" "He's got a really hostile outlook." "You know ... for a duck." "Thanks to you, the Gracklflint is threatening the ship and everyone in it, which is us!" " Not everything." "You were able to set it free, and it did not attack you." "Hey, yeah!" "What makes you so special?" "I know my rights, okay?" "I don't have to say anything if I don't want to." "And I don't want to." "Ggh, ghh-g..." "Rad, I ..." "Where'd they go?" "Eye guy?" "Really?" "Sweet!" "I haven't seen this guy in, like, forever!" "Come along!" "Let go!" " No!" "O... kay, buddy." "Everything's fine here." "Nobody wants to grab you and shove you back in that big ..." "My eye!" "Look out!" "5 million freighter captains the universe, and" "I get a trigger-happy duck with a death wish." "Wait up!" "Hold still, pip-squeak." "Come on, Grackl-Grackl-Gracklflint!" "Over here!" "Who's a kill-crazy monster?" "Yes, you!" "You are!" "Pyxi!" "Where's "Tammy"?" "Buscaglia..." "No!" "You got about two seconds to explain yourself." "Look, we need the creature alive, and you want your ship to stay in one ... in..." "as few pieces as possible." "I've got an idea, but it'll take timing, cooperation, and it's extremely dangerous." "You in?" " "Danger" is my middle name." "I thought "trouble" was your middle name." "Pyxi!" "Cork it!" "...buffalo." "I'm not moving!" " Be still!" "Guys!" "No!" "The Paxter really doesn't go in for the violence." "Whoa!" "I'm your side!" "H-Hey!" "You're not making a salad, you know?" "All right, brother." "This is what you're after." "Great plan." " I can't help how it turned out." "Shh!" "So not cool, man." "Forcing me to use my, you know natural essence to exploit a poor, defenseless ..." "Dude, that wasn't the plan!" "But if I'd known you were edible, I would have made you the plan." "Pyxi!" "Status report!" "...flugelhorn ...satellite with swishy drapes..." "What did she say?" "!" "Attention, alien vessel." "This is commander Raff, of the unstoppable Incursean armada." "You are suspiciously disabled in Incursean space." "Prepare to be boarded and searched." "Never mind." "I'm up to speed." "The Incurseans are about to board us, and the" "Gracklflint has disabled our weapons." "The worm has turned, man." "That's all I know." "The worm has turned." "Agreed." "...superheterodyne fracas..." "Pyxi's right." "A standoff's gonna thrash what's left of the ship." "Hey!" "I understood that!" "...bentura voulebard..." "Don't worry." "If Grey Matter's brilliant little brain can't get us out of this, nothing can." "Ben?" " I'm thinking." "I am totally bummed out!" "I'm a failure!" "I helped put a living, beautiful Gracklflint in a box!" "Not cool." "That "beautiful" creature disabled our engines, weapons systems, and merchant vessel license broadcast." "And we are now endangered, as well." "Why is freeing the human and the Revonnahgander and the duck any less important than freeing the Gracklflint?" "Oh, hey, was that me?" "Eureka!" "I shall fix the Lovely Duck." "Rook, slip out the exhaust vents and cut us loose." "Rad, clear this ship of frogs." "I will make them cry for their mamas." "Pyxi..." " Tiny bubbles." "Get ready to floor it." " Buffalo." "A-And what do I do?" "Go to the cargo bay and..." "be yourself." "Fan out!" "Confiscate, capture, and destroy anything that moves!" "Hey, frogs in boots." "How's it goin'?" "Major Glorf, have the captain and his cargo brought to me." "Search the ship." "Pyxi, the airlock's damaged, so I have to time these doors just right." "Can you give me master control?" " Marzipan coachella unguent..." "You're just lucky that I'm a pacifist." "Huh?" "!" "It's a duck." "Duck this!" "You're the captain?" "Eh..." "I'm not really into, you know, titles." "Open it!" " Can do." "Can do." "Go on, little Gracklflint." "Revel in your freedom." "Stand your ground!" "Run!" "Reroute the Parmian bypass, account for radiological fluctuations." "Warpdrive upshift mechanism recalibrated." "Cargo doors open!" "Go, Pyxi!" "Whoa!" "I thought you guys were cool." "You totally abandoned that poor little Gracklflint!" "Wait for it, salad brain." " Wait for what?" "!" "I mean, I went along with your plan, but I don't see ..." "Attention, alien vessel." "This is commander Raff of the deathless Incursean battle armada." "Oh, hey, Raff." "Long time." "Ben Tennyson!" "I might have known." "Remove this beast from my ship, and I'll grant you safe passage." " And?" " And?" "!" "And what?" "!" "And a set of Galvan horizontal thrusters." "Fine!" "Fine!" "Anything!" "Just get this monstrosity off my ship!" "And none of you ever mention this incident to anyone!" "Thank you." "The Pax cannot abide this whole leash thing, man." "I am suppressing an inordinately powerful urge to knock you out." "Don't worry, Pax." "Rad Dudesman's gonna transport this guy to a place where the Gracklflints run free." "So long as I am paid." ""Profit" is my middle name." "Sure it is." "Attaboy, man!" "Get the tuber!" "Get it!" "Yes, you can!" "Ben." "I accessed Rad's dossier." "Awards, commendations, and outstanding judgments ... all in the name of..." ""Captain Rad Profit Danger Trouble Dudesman."" "Told you." "synccorrectionbyf1nc0"

"Young-lim!" "One, two, three." "Okay." "Okay." "Stop!" "Tong-gu." "It's cold!" "Papa!" "It's cold!" "There you are!" "Tong-gu!" "Tong-gu, please stop!" "Come down!" "Now we go home!" "Gently.." "Good job." "Are you alright?" "Let's go." "Young-lim, was it good at school?" "OK Tong-gu, we play matching?" "Let's get the pencil." "When you study at school..." "OK, then we're going to get the ball?" "Purple one you play with in soccer..." "Let's see..." "Where's the ball?" "That's right." " He's eleven?" " Yes." "Tong-gu's command of the language is that of a 3-year-old...as you know." "Same's true of his intelligence." "In his case, a special school is where he'll have to go." "Read it, and why don't you pay a visit?" "You know, if he continues that way, he might show behavioral disorders." "You've been cold, right?" "From now on, you tell me right away, OK?" "Stop!" "You want to die, bed-wetter?" "You, stop!" "Now, Young-lim, you want to read?" "Yes." "Don't worry about it." "Feeding me is just alright." "The old man allowed him, he started working." "But the odd thing... in the night, the young man disappears and comes back in the early morning." "You don't wear a dust mask when at work?" "You have pneumoconiosis." "See that down there, all white already." "Should I be hospitalized?" "No way." "You must have complications added to it..." "Yea." "So what happened to it?" "Yeah..." "What?" "Oh...medical fee?" "Damn, I've filed a lawsuit for that matter." "Yeah..." "Yeah, I know..." "I told you, I know..." "I'm going to go and see." "Are we going for a drink?" "When?" "Restaurant Kuhbook?" "Yeah, excellent!" "OK!" "Wow, that's nice, Tong-gu." "You go to school all by yourself?" " lsn't it true, Young-lim?" " Yes." "Are you ready?" "OK, let's go!" "If you make it alone, I'll buy you a nice toy." "We'll see the cats pretty soon, OK?" "Hey, Grandpa!" "You left your job due to disability?" "I can work with no problem, though." "You don't have any special license..." "If you have one, that helps to get a job." "At the moment, landing a job is a bit difficult." "If we find anything we can offer, we'll contact you." "Young-lim!" "Yesterday I saw Papa at the hospital, There was much to eat." "By the way, we're moving." "It's my turn for the piano." "No, go away!" "Ah!" "It's Young-lim!" "Tong-gu, fool!" "Tong-gu, fool!" "You want to die?" "We go." "The car doesn't have any problem?" "Papa!" "You had a good time?" " Wow, is it your car, Pa?" " Of course, it's mine." "Get in!" " Wow, a hen!" "Is it ours too?" " Sure!" "It will lay eggs!" "Wow, is it true?" "Excellent!" "Good, a little drive in this car?" "Let's go, Tong-gu!" "In the coop, the hen." "Cock-a-doodle-do!" "Right by the gate, the goose." "Quack!" "Quack!" "Under the pear tree, the goat." "Bleat...!" "In the stable, the calf." "Moo!" "In the coop, the hens." "Right by the gate, the geese." "Under the pear tree, the goats." "In the stable, the calves." "Deep in the mountain, the cuckoo." "Cuckoo!" "Cuckoo!" "In the sky, the lark." "Whistle!" "Upon the stove, the cat." "Meow!" "In the garden, the dog." "Bark!" "Bark!" "Choi.." "Tong... how to write your name." "Gu..." "Write your name." "Choi..." "Choi..." "Tong..." "Your father is Hyegon Choi?" "Yes." "Give this to your father." "Notification...of..." "Eviction..." "As part of the mining village renovation project... you must leave... the house no later than January 31..." "House to be Demolished" "We dance hula, tambourine" "We dance hula tambourine" "I'm on the street again tonight, amid so many strangers" "This nightly street of the city tempting us with its neons" "I don't forget the favorite song of the one who left." "At karaoke I play with a tambourine that's just like myself" "The song I'm trying, it's his favorite number" "Me, hula," "Like a tambourine singing and dancing" "I worried about your new business." "You know nothing but mining..." " You know Yong-chul?" " Who?" "Ji-sun's father!" "The one who lives in your neighborhood..." "He started a business with the indemnity." "That didn't go well, and he made up another illness." " For a living..." " Is that true?" "What a life..." "So cold." "Hey Hyegon!" "You don't miss the mine?" "Of course I do..." "You're all alone?" "I'm with a company..." "And your kids?" "How are they doing?" "The younger one is OK, but the older one worries me." "I don't know how I should get him back in place..." "Yea, that's not easy..." "And you, how's your union business going?" "When jobs are everywhere why just for this in the mining town?" "Arirang, Arirang, Arario..." "I go into the mine, Arirang" "Arirang, Arirang, Arario.." "In mining town I'm getting old with grey hair but now I got nothing but grave illness" "Arirang, Arirang, Arario..." "I go into the mine, Arirang" "Motherfucker, why didn't you just continue with the farm work?" "For Christ's sake, why are you here in this mine?" "Arirang, Arirang, Arario..." "Tong-gu, I'll be back in a minute." "Stay here." "Tong-gu, are you alright?" "Are you hurt?" "You have Seoul address." "Are you here for the casino?" "Why?" "I shouldn't?" "You know well, the car's not insured!" "What?" "Can't be true!" "How come you don't know that?" "I'm not the owner, I simply rented it..." "Huh!" "But that's outrageous!" "See, whether you own or rent it." "you check insurance!" "Have a seat!" "Sit down, please!" "Would you like to agree to a settlement or not?" "Hey, you crook!" "Hey, stop now!" "That's enough..." "But what's this?" "You scumbag!" "Grandpa, Papa is strange!" "What's wrong?" "Hurry, we go and see!" "It's OK." "He's just sleeping." "He drank too much." "Who threw the eggs over there, like that?" "It's rats that ate them all." "We have to put some rat poison..." "They said that with a new casino everything would be OK, but what is this?" "The mine is closed." "The miners are out of job in numbers." "And everyone doesn't give a damn!" "It's crazy..." "We can no longer wait for negotiation like the last fight." "It was crap." "We'll have to do something this time, we'll lie down in front of them." "and they will see what they're going to do to us..." "Good, we'll go like that... then..." " Good, OK!" " Thanks a lot!" "Hyegon!" "It's been a long time..." "Hyegon, what's the matter?" "What happened to you?" "Hyegon!" "Hyegon... your indemnity." "We'll have that, I told you." "Otherwise, the Union won't be there..." "Is it OK, you...?" "Tong-gu!" "Tong-gu!" "Tong-gu!" "Tong-gu!" "Didn't you see my brother?" "And you?" "Papa..." "Young-lim?" "What's the matter?" "Where is Tong-gu?" "Tong-gu, where is he?" "I don't know..." "he has disappeared..." "What?" "Again?" "Where, last time?" "You stay here." "Didn't you see Tong-gu?" "Young-lim, is Tong-gu back?" "Papa, what do we do now?" "Don't worry." "He's returning soon." "Young-lim, where are you going?" "Tong-gu!" "Come down quick!" "Now!" "Tong-gu, come down!" "Choi Tong-gu!" "Come down quick, Tong-gu!" "Tong-gu!" "Tong-gu!" "Get down quick!" "Come down, Tong-gu, please." "Tong-gu!" "Now!" "Choi Tong-gu!" "Tong-gu, come down!" "Come down, Tong-gu, please." "Tong-gu!" "Get down quick!" "Tong-gu!" "Get down quick!" "Tong-gu, come down!" "Pa...pa..." "I'm sorry." "I understand your case." "We worked together for 10 years." "Here also, due to a planned restructuring, much tension with the union..." "Damn, I know nothing but the miner's work..." "Or, the panning, will it be possible?" "Do you want to work with the women at panning?" "Even with panning, no opening at the moment." "Excuse me..." "Young-lim." "Go to grocery and order one more bottle." "Just tell them I'll pay later." "Tong-gu, don't go anywhere." "Stay put, OK?" "Eh!" "Eh!" "..." "Hey, you stop there!" "Tong-gu..." "Tong-gu..." "Tong-gu, what's wrong?" "Who did this to you?" "Young-lim!" "You come with me." "The rat poison, I'll put it there." "If you see rats again, you will do as I've shown." "Don't let Tong-gu touch it." "He'll get very very sick..." "Arirang, Arirang, Arario..." "The sun is going over the hill" "When jobs are everywhere why just for this in the mining town?" "Arirang, Arirang..." "Papa, Jisun's father is in the hospital." "They're moving into an apartment..." "You want me to go to the hospital too?" "House to Demolish" "Young-lim!" "Come to visit us at our apartment, OK?" "Jisun, come, hurry!" "See you again!" "Papa..." "Pa...pa..." "My brother's name is Choi Tong-gu." "He's 11 years old and loves boiled eggs." "The female social worker told me to take him here." "Young-lim, where have you been?" "And Tong-gu?" "Where is he?" "Young-lim" "Get me a glass of water." "And you, Young-lim?" "You don't want to eat?" "COPRODUCTION CHINGUITTY FILMS"

"I received this notification" "There's nothing for you" "But I've been notified" "There's nothing" "Check it yourself if you wish" "When shall I come again?" "When you get another "notification, perhaps"" "Enough of this nonsense!" "Who is it?" ""I can hear you breathe, you skunk"" "I'm sorry" "I'm off to empty the dust-bin" "The chute's out of order" ""I know, I know"" "My milk hasn't been delivered" "They only deliver every second one" "Want to be the milk woman?" "I'm too busy" "So is the one who used to deliver milk" "Yes?" "Good morning" "What can I do for you?" "I heard you were looking for someone to deliver milk" "How old are you?" "Nineteen" "You still at school?" ""No, I'm employed at the post office" I live in the neighborhood" "Do you realize a milkman get up at five... in the morning every day?" "I get up early anyway" "This is the gas-works emergency service" "I have a gas leak to report" "Are you sure?" ""Yes, You see, I can smell it" "I can hear it, too"" "Where is that leak?" "In my gas stove" "Have you turned the gas off?" ""Your address, please?"" ""No. 4, Piratow street" Flat No.376" "Our man will be there soon" "WHo is it?" "The milkmen" "You forgot to put the empty bottle out" "Yes" "Tomek..." "Have you got a girl-friend?" "No" "I suppose nobody's ever told you" ""You see, girls pretend to be" "unceremonious, they kiss boys..."" "But actually... prefer them to be subtle" "Should you ever want to "bring somebody to the flat,"" "you're quite free to" "I haven't a girl-friend" "Tomek!" "Tomek!" "Good morning?" ""I talked to you the last time," didn't I?" "Yes" "I've received another notification" ""Well, I don't know"" "This is my second visit here" ""I know, Madam" But there's nothing" "And the second notification which seems to be false..." ""Quite a mess you have here, eh?"" "I'd like to talk to an older person" "Pardon?" "An older person The postmaster or somebody" "I'll be back" ""Yes, Madam?"" "This is the first one It's several days old" "And this is the second one "Two notifications about money orders,"" "but there's no money "And no order, either"" "These are notification all right What's wrong?" "But there's no money" "I'd like to see the orders" "Who's the sender supposed to be?" "I don't know It says twenty-four thousand" "Then how do you know the money was sent to you at all?" ""Why, this is the second notification"I got" "But the official's told you "there's nothing, hasn't he?"" "That's impossible I keep getting those..." "Mr. Wacek!" ""Yes, Madam?"" "Take a look at these!" "Ordinary notifications" "They're from your area Did you write them out?" ""No, it wasn't me"" "I always write with a pencil" "Don't you hear?" "They aren't from our office" "I found these in my own post-box!" "And there's the stamp of you office on them" "The post office isn't mine It's national" "You must have wrote them out yourself You'd better inform the police about it" ""Yes, you're right" "May I have the notifications, please?"" ""Oh no, you're not getting them" They're forged" ""Just look at her," tried to swindle money!" "Want anything from me?" "I'd like you to know There wasn't any money" "And the notifications?" "That was my doing" "Why?" "I wanted to see you" "To see me?" "You wanted to see me" ""You cried yesterday, didn't you?"" "How do you know?" "I've been peeping at you..." "I've been peeping at you through the window" "Get out!" ""Get out of here, but quick!"" "I'm counting three" "One..." "Two..." "Are you looking at me now?" "Yes" "I moved the bed for you Can you see it?" "Have a good time" "Hey!" "You there!" "You bum!" "Come here!" "Come right down!" "You're a coward" ""Ah, so it's you, baby, eh?"" "Now put your hands up!" "And never try that trick again" ""At you age, it isn't good for you"" "I thought it was you" "Want to come in?" "I'm alone" "You're looking swell" ""Hardly a fighter, eh?"" ""Tell me, why are you peeping at me?"" "Because I love" "I really do" "And what do you want?" "I don't know" "To kiss me?" "No" "Or perhaps... to go to bed?" ""I mean, to make love to me?"" "No" "Then what do you want?" "Nothing" "Nothing" "Could I ask you to a coffee-shop?" "Buy you some ice-cream?" "Sorry" "How long have you been watching me?" "One year" "Remember what you said that morning?" "Repeat it" "I love you" "There's no love" "There is" "No" "Got any friends?" ""Just one, but he's away" for the present" "Where is he?" "In Syria Serving in the Polish UN troops" "I'm living at his mother's now It's across the street from" "I can guess that" ""He used to peep at you, too"" "Did he tell you about it?" ""When he was leaving, he gave me his "binoculare and showed me your window" "What did he say?" "Well..." "Out with it" "A nice..." "Go on" "A nice chick..." "Likes a screw..." "I know now" ""All right, so you love me and work" "at the post office, what else?"" "I learn foreign language" "And how many have you learned already?" "Bulgarian..." ""That's nice, but what for?"" "We had two Bulgarian kids back at the orphanage" "Then I learned English "Right now, I'm learning Portuguese"" "You're a funny kid" ""No, I just have a good memory"" "I remember everything From the very beginning" "Do you remember the moment "you were born, too?"" "I sometimes seem to remember it" "And your parents?" "Do you remember a boy..." "A slender one..." "Used to visit me last autumn..." ""I remember him, he brought you milk and"bread rolls, and collected some parcels"" ""That's him, he went abroad" and never came back" "I liked him" ""I liked him too, I guess"" ""Well, he went to Austria" and then to Australia" "To Australia?" "I used to steal you letters" "I didn't know they were from him" "I work at the post office" "You've encircled me" ""Delivering my milk," summoning me to the office..." ""sending gas-fitters to pester me, "stealing my letters" ""Ah well, it doesn't really matter"" "Give me your hand" "Now stroke me" "Look" "Experienced men do it this way" "Our bus..." "Let's make a deal" ""If we manage to catch it, you'll visit me" "If we fail, you won't, O.K.?"" "Then give me your hand" "What else do you know about me?" "Tell me what you see from your window when I'm having company" "It's called making love I once watched you do it" "I don't anymore" "It's got nothing to do with love" "Tell me what I do on such occasions?" "You take your clothes off... and theirs..." ""you take their clothes off, too"" "Then you both lie down on the bed" ""Sometimes on the floor, too"" "Where else?" "In the kitchen..." "You close your eyes... then you raise your arms" "Can you imitate it?" "Ever had a girl?" "No" "Do you play with yourself while looking me do it?" "Not anymore..." "I used to" "Know it's a sin?" "Yes" ""But now, I only..."" "think about you" "Don't say anything now" ""You know I'm naked underneath," don't you?" "A woman who wants to be with a man... gets wet inside..." "And that's what I am right now" "You have gentle hands" "Don't be afraid" "Finished?" ""Well, did you like it?"" ""See, this is what love is"" "You can go to the bathroom Wipe it away with a towel" ""I'm sorry, please come back"" "I'm not home" "I'm sorry" "Did I wake you up?" "No" "I'm looking for..." "He forgot his coat at my flat" "Come on in" "You'd better lie down" "Is he out?" "No" "He's in a hospital" "What happened?" "Nothing serious" ""He'll be out in several days," a dozen maybe" "I'd like to visit him there" ""You know, he only just left" my flat..." "I know" "I'm afraid..." "I..." "I harmed him" ""No, please don't go in there" He'll be back" "Please tell me what happened" "You'll think it's funny" "He fell in love with you" "This is his field-glass He used to peep at you through it" ""Must have stolen it somewhere," I guess" ""He had binoculars before that," about a year long" ""And here's his alarm clock,"" "set on half past eight" ""You come home about that time," don't you?" "More or less" ""He's fallen on the wrong person," hasn't he?" "Yes" "I take care of him" ""You have a son of your own, don't you"" "He's away" "And he's sure to go away again as soon as he's back" "He's been running away all his life" "Never wanted to stay with me" "I'm an old woman I neither need nor want anything" "But I'm afraid to be alone I like to have somebody next to me" "Good night" "May I perhaps phone you..." "ask about his health?" "There's no phone in this flat" ""Excuse me, Madam"" "What is his name?" "Tomek" "Closed" "What are these deletions supposed to mean?" "Please never delete anything" "Excuse me" "The number of your flat?" "376" "I've got nothing for you" "Do you know what happened to that boy?" "Used to work at a counter in your post office" "He cut his veins "Unhappy love, they say..."" "Do you know his name?" ""Sorry, you'll have to" ask the postmistress" "Hello?" ""Is that you, Tomek?"" "Say something" "I've been looking for you everywhere" "I went to several hospitals" "I wanted to find you... to let you know you were right" ""Do you hear, Tomek?"" "You were right" "I don't really know what to say" "How to say it" ""That you, Magda baby?"" "Yes" "This is Wojtek speaking "Good morning, I mean, Good evening"" "Was it you who phoned just a moment ago?" ""Yeah, but I couldn't get through" Damn it" "Did you hear what I was saying?" "No" "Excuse me" "Is he back?" "Not yet" "I don't peep at you anymore"

"I am William Castle, the director of the motion picture you're about to see." "I feel obligated to warn you that some of the sensations, some of the physical reactions which the actors on the screen will feel will also be experienced for the first time in motion picture history by certain members of this audience." "I say "certain members" because some people are more sensitive to these mysterious electronic impulses than others." "These unfortunate, sensitive people will at times feel a strange, tingling sensation." "Others will feel it less strongly." "But don't be alarmed." "You could protect yourself." "At any time you are conscious of a tingling sensation you may obtain immediate relief by screaming." "Don't be embarrassed about opening your mouth and letting rip with all you got." "Because the person in the seat right next to you will probably be screaming too." "And remember this:" "A scream at the right time may save your life." " Who are you?" " I'm nobody." " Unless you got business..." " I won't bother you." "You got to have a pass to come in here." "Will this do?" "I'm sorry." "I didn't know it was a relative." " It's my wife's brother." " Try not to faint." "I won't faint." " I understand going to friend's funeral." " We weren't "friends," exactly." "I had a pass to the execution, and I mean..." " Does it always kill them in the chair?" " I've never heard of it failing." "Well, in the chair, does it hurt them?" "Not if it's done properly." "At least, I don't think so." "Even a slight shock hurts." "Try putting an electrode soaked in saline solution on your head another strapped to your leg, then slamming 2,000 volts between them." "If it hurts, let me know." "Well, if it works, then why this?" "I've never found it to be necessary." "But it happens to be the law." "An autopsy must be performed immediately after the execution." "Interesting." "This man's vertebrae are cracked." "They're nearly splintered in two." "Two thousand volts!" "Electricity had nothing to do with this." "I've seen this phenomenon many times in people who were badly frightened just before they died." "There's a force in us that science knows nothing about." "The force of fear." "That it's strong enough to shatter the spinal column, we know." "But what it is what causes it to appear and disappear, we don't know." "Some day I hope to find out." "Maybe it's what makes your spine tingle when you're scared." "Exactly." "Tingle?" "It can do a great deal more than that." "It's odd." "I've been experimenting with this force for years." "Never had a name for it until now." "Now I think I'll call it "The Tingler."" " You do all the autopsies out here?" " Most of them, and for the county too." "It ties in with my experimental work in fear." "Many people die in fear." "I wonder how many die of fear." "You mean, being scared to death?" "Not on the death certificate." "Fear causes tremendous tensions in the body." "If you can't relieve them, why can't they become strong enough to kill you?" "Never thought of it that way." "I've thought of little else for some years now." "That man's vertebrae are cracked." "Sensation of fear alone can't have done that." "Something real and powerful broke those bones." "And on the death certificate I'll write down that death was caused by heart failure due to electrically induced shock." "I guess he deserved it, killing those two women in cold blood like that." "What?" "He killed two women." "Right down the street from where I live." "Looked for a while, though." "They couldn't find a clue, but they did." "I seldom know who they are or what they did." "I suppose because I don't want to know." "Science is sometimes frighteningly impersonal." "Being my wife's brother..." "Well, you ready?" "You wouldn't be able to give me a ride into town, Doc?" "I'm sure I'd be glad to, Mr...?" "My name's Oliver Higgins." "Everybody calls me just OIlie." "Where do you live?" "There aren't many theaters like this left." "You'd be surprised how many come to see these old pictures." " Not just to make fun, either." " Yours?" "It belongs to my wife." "We run it together, though." " Would you like a beer or coffee, Doc?" " Coffee'd be fine." "Good, I live right up there." "I'll check with the wife first." "I'm going upstairs and make some coffee." "I'll open up later." "Well, shall we go, Doc?" "It's kind of old-fashioned, but she likes it this way." " You like cream and sugar?" " No." "Black, please." "Just the two of you run the whole show?" "You'd be surprised how much work it takes." "Just the cleaning up alone." "Mopping, sweeping, vacuuming the seats and the runners." "Once a week, we go over everything." "We even do the ceiling." "We even do behind the screens and under the seats." " I tell you, it takes a lot of work." " It sounds like it." "You know, you ought to come sometime, Doc." "Some of the silents are just as good as the movies they make nowadays." "Even with the sound and the color, and the screens a block wide." "I'd like to see some of the old Charlie Chaplin films again." "We show them once a year." "I'll let you know." "That's my wife." "Never mind." "She'll come in here." "She has to wash her hands first." "Martha?" "This is Doctor Warren Chapin." "She says she just finished washing her hands." "She's deaf and dumb." "She can read lips if you talk straight to her." "How do you do, Mrs. Higgins?" "She says to excuse her, but she never shakes hands." "People's hands have germs, she says." "Tell her she's so right." "She can't make a sound or hear a sound." "No vocal cords?" "None." "She's a bug in this washing up." "Our bill for towels is five bucks a week." "There you are, Doc." "Thank you." "I'm sorry." "That was a clumsy thing to do." " It's my fault." " No, it's nothing but a small cut." "Go down and get the bag out of my car." "She always does this." "One drop of blood and out she goes." "It affects some people like that." "Did you notice how rigid she became?" "She always does." "It's interesting." "Because she has no vocal cords, she can't release fear vocally." "So they continue to mount, until she can't endure it." "So she faints?" "It isn't a faint as we know it." "It's more of a psychosomatic escape." "I never thought of that." "You go downstairs and open up." "I'll come downstairs in a minute." "It's time to open up the box office." "We'd better go down first." "She won't leave anybody alone with that safe." "Thanks for asking me up, OIlie." "I'm sorry I caused you all that trouble." "That's all right, no harm done." "Thanks for the ride home." "I'm sorry about..." "Goodbye, Mrs. Higgins." "I'm sorry I caused all that trouble." "She says goodbye, and she hopes your cut isn't serious." "No." "No, it isn't." "Goodbye." "Bye, Mrs. Higgins." "Goodbye, Doc." "Good luck with your experiment." "Thanks." "Hi, Lucy." "Where's my devoted wife?" "Where's David?" "Tell me something, Warren." "What happened to those rules I learned about what every young girl should do?" "Like, keep your date waiting for at least ten minutes." "And never let him know that she wonders if he's ever going to show at all." "It's all my fault." "I sometimes like right now, wish he didn't work for you at all." " That he was..." " A what?" "A Persian rug merchant?" "That's much worse." "Just an ordinary eight-to-fiver with a yen for picket fences." "And waste one of the best minds in pathology?" "Not really." "I love David just the way he is." "I don't even want to change him." "Golly, is that abnormal?" "Refreshing." "Isabel went out about an hour ago." "What are we going to do about her?" " She's simply ruining her life." " It's not her fault." "A husband who spends all his time in the laboratory." "And hates cocktails and parties, and falls asleep at the opera." "She's out almost every night now." "And with men who aren't very nice." "I'm ashamed of my sister." "Lucy, as soon as David and I finish this experiment I'll have more time for her." "He'll have more for you." "I'd wait for Dave forever if I have to." "But why do I have to, Warren?" "Does being someone's guardian give you the right to rule them?" "You've had another battle with Isabel?" "No." "The same one." "I'm too young." "David's too poor." "If I do anything she doesn't approve of she won't give me my share of the money." "I'll talk to her." "What good will that do?" "Who knows?" " Have you had any dinner?" " Not yet." " I'll fix you something." " No, look." "I'm not really hungry." "Warren, you've got to eat." "Cut my head off." "Boil me in oil." "Young man?" "What do you mean, keeping this beautiful girl waiting?" "You say, "Go get a cat."" "You ever chase a cat down an alley?" "I'm lucky to be alive." "Did you get one?" "A big black brute." "Trouble is, I don't think we can scare him." "Well, what are you two up to now?" "Black cats in dark alleys?" "Fear has the same effect on all animals." "You mean I'm an animal?" "Better-Iooking than most, and can't run as fast." "I hope." " I got that prescription for you." " Good." "From the articles I read, it's a very interesting drug." "So is nitroglycerin." "Where is that all-for-science attitude?" "I left it in my other suit." "Don't fool with that stuff alone." "It can produce pretty weird effects." "Speaking of which, I saw an interesting reaction this afternoon." "There's this deaf-mute." "She can't utter a sound, and she has a blood trauma." "I cut my hand on a broken saucer, and she went into total shock." "I've never seen anyone so terrified or so unable to release her fear tensions." "What happened?" "Her husband thinks she faints, but it isn't a true faint at all." "It's much more serious." "Her unreleased tensions grow so great that she goes into psychosomatic blackout." "What if she didn't?" "That's an interesting question." "If we get her to a fluoroscope, and show her some blood..." "Please!" "We're going to dinner!" "I'm sorry." "All right, you kids get out of here." "We'll go, if you stay out of the lab tonight." "The further we go, the surer I am that what we're looking for is something tangible." "Real." "Anything that can exert such tremendous pressure on the spinal column must be something you can see, touch, hold in your hand." "It may exist for only a fraction of a second, but there's something in every frightened person that's as solid as steel." "And probably stronger." "I think I've found a name for it." "The Tingler." "You like it?" "The Tingler?" "Why not?" "Since we don't know what it is yet, we can't give it a Latin name." "Tingler." "It must cover almost the entire backbone." "The only way we'll ever isolate it is to catch someone at the instant of complete terror." "Not before, not after." "David." "You'll be too weak." "Weak?" "From starvation." "Have fun." "And David..." "I know." "I know." "Don't keep him out late." "He has a hard day in the lab tomorrow." " Good night, Warren." " Good night." "Good evening." "I wish you wouldn't stand around in the dark." "Feet hurt?" "As a matter of fact, they do." "Not from running." "That was a charming little scene out there." "Wasn't it?" " Good night." " Love in bloom, right on the sidewalk." "Rather shopworn, though, isn't it?" "Don't tell me you've abandoned corpses for peeping out of windows." "If there was anything honest about your behavior, I might feel differently." "You're just playing the field, and vice versa." "You know, I think I'll have a nightcap with amateur psychiatry." "Jealousy doesn't look well on your tie, dear." "There's no jealousy involved." "You know, Warren, you've lost contact with living people." "Nobody means anything to you anymore, unless they're dead." "And you can root around in them with your sharp little knives." "There's a word for you." "There's several for you." "Lucy's very upset." "So is Dave." "And for that matter, so am I." "Good." "The only way Dave Morris will marry my sister is over my dead body." "Unconventional, but not impossible." "They're nice kids." "They're in love." "They're old enough and wise enough to make a go of a marriage." "Nice kids!" "Love!" "Morris is another you." "A scientist who thinks the world is in his lab." "I won't let my sister sacrifice herself the way I did." "You may have to." "What do you mean?" "You suggested a way." "I'm tired and I'm sleepy." " Good night." " Stay awake a little longer." "The next time you sleep, it may be forever." " Is this the hour for melodrama?" " Depends on your definition." "Sit down." "Let's have a chat." " You've nothing to say I want to hear." " Sit down anyway!" "Go on!" "Now you won't have so far to go." "I'd like to make two suggestions." "First, leave Lucy and Dave alone." "You're a shrewd and evil woman, adept at twisting people's minds." "Leave them alone." "Please." "Next, I suggest that you give Lucy half of the money you've got." "So Dave can continue in pathology, without the obstacle of having no money." "I know a wonderful psychiatrist with a divine straitjacket just your size." "Are you forgetting anything?" " Probably." " That's the understatement of the year." "Now remember this:" "Everything you've got, I paid for!" "Your lab, all that expensive junk, Morris' wages, your car, this house!" "And remember!" "All I have to do to put you and Morris into the street is to turn the key." "On the goodie box?" "Where did the goodies come from?" "My father." "Nice man too." "Pity he died so suddenly." "I had nothing to do with my father's death, and you know it." " Like me to prove it isn't nonsense?" " You can't prove anything." " There's nothing to prove." " You wouldn't like me to try?" "And you should remember this, darling." "Organic poisons, like old soldiers, never die." "They just lie smoldering in the grave." "And I'm not bad at autopsies." "You're crazy!" "You really are." "Isn't everyone?" "Now walk straight ahead." "Go on." "What are you going to do?" "We'll have a little chat." "What I do next is entirely up to you, so walk." "Where are you taking me?" "It'll be easier to "rearrange" things in the laboratory." "You should come in here more often, dear." "Let's stop all this childish behavior." " A gun is so out of character." " Isn't it?" "Over there." " Warren, stop it!" " Over there!" "Have you gone completely out of your mind?" "Not at all." "You see, you're a good teacher." "You taught me how to get what I want, no matter who gets hurt." " What do you mean by that?" " Just this:" "Ever since you've been Lucy's guardian, you've tried to ruin her life." "You've greedily kept what was hers." "Now I'm giving you a choice." "Either you give Lucy half of all the money you got and leave her alone or you commit suicide right now." "Suicide?" "You mean murder." "When I finish rearranging things, it'll look like suicide." "Now make up your mind." "We want to be through with this before Lucy comes home." "I won't give that child anything, so put away that silly pistol!" "This "silly" pistol can make a hole in you the size of a medium grapefruit." "I'll call the police!" "You're not hurt, dear." "It was just a blank cartridge." "Thanks for helping with the experiment." "You played your part excellently." "I see." "Sharing in your husband's work and all that, you know." "Kitty." "Kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty." "I was going to use this cat." "But you made a much better subject." "Have you two met?" "In the same alley, perhaps?" "When my turn comes, and it will come it won't be an experiment." "Howdy, boss!" "I've got something to show you." "Wait." "I brought a dog." "A dog?" "What for?" "You say, "Get a cat." I got it, You say, "Get a dog." I get a dog." "We don't need him." ""A" for effort." "I wouldn't be surprised if in a fair fight that cat'd whip this dog." " What do you want to show me?" " You've never seen anything like this." "See anything unusual?" "What's this?" "You tell me." "I don't know." "But it's stronger and denser than bone." "I'm showing you these negatives in reverse order on purpose." "Look at that!" "Wait." "The Tingler." "It must be." "Until we get a specimen of it, we can't be sure." "I can't see any bone structure." " It must be solid matter." " That's what I thought." "How'd you get this picture?" "Who is it?" " It doesn't matter how or who." " Isabel?" "I said it doesn't matter." " I'm sorry, Warren." " That's all right." "Let's review our progress so far." "What do we know about The Tingler?" "What do we think we know, and what've we got to find out?" "First, we know that it exists." "If roentgen rays can't penetrate it, we know it's solid." "We know that fear energizes it, gives it strength." "That's about all we know." "Except that it exists in every human being." "And that it's extremely powerful." "What do we think we know?" "That fear causes The Tingler to spread along the spinal column." "And with those arm-like things, between the vertebrae forces it to become arched and rigid." "And you believe that screaming or any sound the human in fear can make, paralyzes it?" "At least screaming seems to stop it from bending the spinal column." "Screaming may dissolve it, or if it's a living organism, kill it." "And these are things we have to find out." " What do you think it's made of?" " I don't know." "But I'd guess sinews of some very powerful material." "You said, "living organism."" "Could The Tingler be alive?" "A separate and living thing inside our bodies?" "Why not?" "You know, of course, that after death many things continue to live in the body." "Fingernails grow." "So does hair, and the formation of calcium in the bones continues." "Life is not merely a matter of breathing and a beating heart." " We've come a long way." " We got a long way to go." "Perhaps." "And perhaps not." "We now know that at the peak of terror The Tingler is a solid mass extending from the coccyx to the cervicals." "If one could stand the pain without screaming or otherwise releasing their tension until they died an autopsy would give us a Tingler we could work with." "The advancement of human knowledge is fine, but dying for it..." "If that's your attitude we'll have to find someone else who's willing to die for science." "And eventually we will." "I'm worried, David." "Isabel has been sweet to me all day." "Me too." "At least she said good morning." "Even smiled." "So look out." "The roof is going to fall in." " Coffee, Warren?" " No, thanks." "I've been thinking..." "Yes, I'd love a cup of coffee." "Thank you." "So?" "I've been trying to frighten myself, but nothing works." "It isn't that I'm too intelligent." "Just too grown up." "Kids can scare themselves by lying in the dark and making ghosts out of chairs, but we can't." "The only way I can frighten myself is to make it real." "Jump out of a window, get run over by a car, go out and drown." "After those x-rays, we know The Tingler exists." "Why do you have to scare yourself?" "I want to personally sense the power of The Tingler in a genuine fear situation." "In a controlled experiment, with my own fear perhaps I can find out all the things we have to know." "Only nothing scares me." "Exactly." "Boo!" "Well, back to the salt mines." "Why don't you take the night off?" "Go to a movie." "You and Lucy." "I'll be in later." "I mean it." "Take the night off." "Okay, boss." "The night off." "Good night." "This is not good." " He's leaving us out of something." " But what?" "There's nothing in the lab." "That drug you brought..." "It's not a drug." "It's an acid." "I wonder..." "Locked." "He never did that before." "Can you see anything?" "He's locking the other door." "What's he doing now?" "He's saying something to the tape recorder." "Average injection: 50 micromilligrams." "Fifty." "I'm making it 100 micromilligrams in solution." "What's happening now?" "Warren wanted to do this." "Let's hope he's accomplishing something important." "What's he doing now?" "Time: 8:03." "Sharp stinging sensation." "Now he's sitting down." " Is he all right?" " As far as I can tell." "Definite blurring of vision now at 8:11." "Emotionally, I feel nothing abnormal." "What does that stuff do to you?" "For one thing, nightmares." "You're wide-awake." "But you're having nightmares." "Blurring of vision has been replaced by distinct rocking and tilting sensation." "I don't seem to be tilting, but the room is from side to side." "Time 8:13." "Emotionally, I begin to feel somewhat apprehensive." "Probably normal, however." "The room is closing in on me." "He's talking again." "I wish I could hear." "Is he all right?" "Something is scaring him." "The room is closing in on me." "You've got to make it stop." "The walls!" "The walls!" "Can't we help him?" "No, we can't, Lucy." "Break the door." "He may be suffering." "That drug may be hurting him." "He's only suffering in his mind." "Nothing is hurting him." "It may hurt his mind." "There's nothing we can do to help him now." "That acid must wear off naturally." "If I try to stop it or even minimize it with an antidote, I might kill him." "I got to get out of here!" "No breath!" "No air!" "I can't breathe!" "The window." "It won't open!" "It's locked." "Barred!" "Somebody's got to help me!" " Isn't there another key?" " Maybe." "I'll go look." "Mustn't scream." "I mustn't scream!" "I broke down and screamed, didn't I?" "I couldn't help it, Dave." "Things were pretty foggy but I remember thinking that I mustn't scream." "But the pain and the fear were so great." "I don't think anybody could keep from screaming if they were really terrified." "Unless..." "Unless what?" "Just an idle idea." "I'd better be on my way." "Good night, kids." "Unless what, Dave?" "Suppose a person could not possibly scream?" "Well, everybody can scream." "A deaf-mute can't scream." " Evening, Doc." " OIlie." "Come to see the show?" "Not tonight." "I just dropped by to see how you were doing." "Well, pretty good." " How's your experiment?" " It's making progress." "In fact, I dropped by because I was worried about your wife." "A shock like that can have pretty bad after-effects." "I've been a little worried about her too." "She hasn't eaten a thing and she can't sleep." "Ever since she saw that blood, she just roams around the theater all night." "Is she here now?" "She's upstairs." "She won't even tend the box office anymore." "Why don't I have a look at her?" "It may be a simple case of nerves." " I'd appreciate it." " What drugstore do you use?" "The Cut-Rate around the corner." "Good evening, Mrs. Higgins." "OIlie told me to come up." "He said you weren't..." "OIlie told me to come up and see you." "He said you weren't feeling well." "Would you like me to check you over?" "All you need is sleep and rest." "Now I'm going to give you a shot." "To relax you." "And then I'm going to give OIlie a prescription for some barbiturates." "Sleeping pills." "They won't hurt you." "All right?" "All you need is rest and sleep." "How much?" "How about a couple of passes for your theater?" "Now you just go to sleep, and you'll be as fit as a fiddle." "Lie down." "Good night." "How is she, Doc?" "It's just nerves." "I gave her a shot to relax her." "If she should wake up, give her these pills." " How long will she sleep?" " Now?" "The shot should wear off in two or three hours." "Have her take these pills." "She needs a lot of sleep." "I'll go get this filled." "I have time to have a beer, don't I?" "Sure." "Join me?" "With her sick, I certainly need one." "I'd like to very much." "But I have some work to finish." "Thanks, Doc." "And good night." "Home so soon?" "Did you hear what the husband said to the wife?" "This another one of your oblique jokes?" "Why does the back door slam every time I come in the front door?" "Because he was a jealous husband?" "Nothing like a good two-fisted drinker, right?" "Are you sure I didn't mix them for you, dear?" "You look tired." "It's a pity I'm not the type for gold tie clips." "But you are, Warren." "Exactly." "Doc!" "Doc, my wife!" "I know it's late, but my wife..." "Take it easy." "What's the trouble?" "She's sick." "Maybe dead by now." "It's terrible." "I'll get my bag." "I brought her here because you treated her." "I tried to phone you." "Let's bring her around to the lab door." "Just a couple of beers." "When I got home, there she was." "You suppose..." "Could it be that shot you gave her?" "Well, hardly." "I found her lying on the bathroom floor." "She was so cold, I thought she was dead." "When I picked her up, she moved." "OIlie, your wife is dead." "I'm very sorry." "I guess I wasn't much of a husband to her." "There's no way I can make up for it." "OIlie, I'm really sorry." "Do you feel like helping me with some details?" "I feel okay." "What do you want to know?" "Tell me as closely as you can what time you found her, and the circumstances." "It must have been about one o'clock, Doc." "When you left, I went to have a beer." "When I came home, I just went in." "There she was, lying on the bathroom floor." " Age?" " She's 46." "Was there any sign of a struggle?" "There was nothing." "She was just lying on the bathroom floor." "There wasn't anything unusual about the room at all?" "No." "Just the way it always is." "From her expression, something must have terrified her just before she died." "You haven't any idea what it was?" "Everything was locked." "There was no sign of anyone there." "My God, she's alive!" "She's not alive." "Something frightened her to death." "She's been dead for over an hour." "She moved." "May I find out why?" "Sure, Doc, sure." "Anything you want." "Just sit over there." "The Tingler!" "Give me that glass tank." " What happened?" " It attacked him." "That thing?" "How strong is it, Doc?" "Strong enough to kill a man, easily and quickly." " What made it let go?" " My screaming, I think." "Must have been." "Your wife is..." "She's dead." "Are you badly hurt, Warren?" "Good night." "I'm sorry about your wife." "Is there anything I can do for your arm, dear?" "No, thank you." "Thank you, OIlie." "We'd better call a funeral parlor." "No, not in the middle of the night." "Couldn't I just take her home and call in the morning?" "It's easier that way." "They'll just come..." "It might take quite a long while." "It's so late." "You'd have to wait up." " I'd rather take her myself." " All right." " Can you manage?" " I can manage." "You'd better notify the police right away." "I will." "Has he gone?" "This is very important to you, isn't it, Warren?" "Yes, very." "You've worked so long to find it." "Let's celebrate, shall we?" "Let's celebrate finding The Tingler." "And me." "You?" "I've been a bad and foolish wife." "All this time I've been jealous of your work." "All this time I've been jealous of your work." "How silly can you get?" " Scotch?" " Yes, I think so." "Thanks." "Here you are." "I'd rather have the other glass, darling." "Why?" "More booze." "They're both exactly the same." "You're so amusing." "And so trusting." "Thanks." "Here's to The Tingler and your new wife." "I hope the new wife doesn't turn out to be as dangerous as The Tingler." "One thing that's so nice about you I can always count on you." "To do what?" "The right thing." "Now, about this new wife..." "First, about The Tingler." "Is it really so dangerous?" "You know I felt as though my arm were in one of those hydraulic presses." "Tremendous power." "What are you going to do with it?" "Probably for my old wife." "That you, Doc?" "I just called to let you know everything's all right." "You really didn't have to bother." "I left her..." "Well, I mean..." "She's at the funeral parlor." "I called the police." "They said let it go till morning." "Nothing affects it." "You can't destroy the thing." "Doctors will be amazed when they see The Tingler." "They're not going to see it." "Aren't you taking it to the convention?" "You'll write about it in the journals." "There's not going to be anything in the journals about it." "After all this work!" "What are you going to do?" "To break the laws of nature is always dangerous and we've violated some basic principles." "We had to." "But now we'll stop." "But, Warren, you can't just..." "Hear me out." "That The Tingler exists in every human being we now know." "Look at that." "It's an ugly and dangerous thing." "Ugly because it's the creation of man's fear." "Dangerous because a frightened man is dangerous." "We can't destroy it, because we've removed it from its natural place." "Then what can we do?" "Call OIlie." "Ask him the name of the funeral parlor where he left his wife." "We can only hope, and try." "Fear made that Tingler grow from microscopic size to this." "We can only hope when it goes back where it came from, it'll also go back to a thing infinitely small." "Even die." "Because its creator is dead." "All fear gone." "OIlie doesn't answer." "Then call the police or the coroner." "They'll know." " Isabel's gone." " Isabel is always gone." " I mean she's left." " Give me the police department." " She's taken her clothes." " I want to check on a death." "Well, I can only hope she'll be happier." "They have no report of her death." "But they must have!" "OIlie called me..." "I wonder." "Call OIlie again." "Call him till he answers." "And when he does, tell him not to do anything foolish." "That I'll try to help him." " What did you do with her?" " I took her to the funeral home." "Like I told you on the phone, but you hung up on me." " Where is she?" " I keep telling you, Doc." "What's in there?" "Just my things." "I'm moving out." "It's too gloomy here." "You killed her." "No, I didn't." "Your wife was frightened to death with this." "And this." "What did you do with her?" " I keep telling..." " You're lying!" "You don't know how it was with her." "She would've killed me if she could've." "She tried to lots of times." "You don't know how it was." "I know exactly how it was." "What are you going to do?" "First, I'm going to put The Tingler back where it came from." "So that if it can die, it will." "And then I'll call the police." "It broke out of the box!" "What's that?" "It's just a loose board." "I've been meaning to fix it." "What's below this?" "The theater!" "The theater!" "The Tingler is in the theater!" "I'll warn the audience." "No, you'd start a panic." "We've got to be quiet and careful." "But we've got to find it." "It must be in here somewhere." "Let's look down the other aisle." "Ladies and gentlemen, there's no cause for alarm." "A young lady has fainted." "She is being attended to by a doctor, and is quite all right." "So please remain seated." "The movie will begin again right away." "I repeat, there is no cause for alarm." " Must have been about here." " No, it's further down." "Why can't we see it?" "Ladies and gentlemen, please do not panic!" "But scream!" "Scream for your lives!" "The Tingler is loose in this theater!" "And if you don't scream, it may kill you!" "Scream!" "Scream!" "Keep screaming!" "Scream for your life!" "It's here!" "It's over here!" "Help!" "Help!" " Look out, it's under the stage!" " Ladies and gentlemen." "The Tingler has been paralyzed by your screaming." "There is no more danger." "We will now resume the showing of the movie." "The projection booth, quick!" "Are you all right?" " Where is it?" " Right there." " You must have screamed just in time." " I guess so." "All right, no more stalling." "Don't open that film can until I tell you." "And then you'll have to help me." "I'm sorry now I did what I did, Doc." "You gave me the idea." "Just because poison happens to exist is no excuse to commit murder with it." "I'm not blaming you." "But I knew she couldn't scream, and about The Tingler and all." "Give me The Tingler now." "Come on." "Give it to me." "It isn't as though I'd shot her or taken a knife and stabbed her, is it?" "If you kill anybody deliberately, it's murder." "No matter how you do it." "I guess they'll probably electrocute me, won't they?" "I'm neither judge nor jury." "This time you're going to the police with me." "You're wrong." "You're going by yourself." "Look, all I have to do is go downstairs and call the police." "It won't do you any good." "Goodbye." "Ladies and gentlemen, just a word of warning." "If any of you are not convinced that you have a Tingler of your own the next time you're frightened in the dark, don't scream."

"It doesn't have to be this way." "Just listen to reason." "I have no use for reason... puny human!" "The Selbachian ship is almost within range." "And this vessel shall be the instrument of my revenge." "Turn your weapon systems over to me now, or I will kill one of your crew every 2.5 Earth minutes, beginning with the female." "Commander?" "It's going to be all right." "All stations secure from general quarters." "A pleasure working with you, Yeoman." "As always." "We're talking about a piece of television history." "The actual Spaceforce microprobe Commander Artemis Bishop used to subdue the alien Gorth in the season 2 finale of Astro Quest." "And it can all be yours for just $750." "750?" "Do I look like an idiot to you?" "That's nice!" "Welcome, Whatifitconners." "A special encore presentation of Astro Quest:" "Redux will begin in Room 21-B in just a few minutes." "Nice uniform." "Wendy?" "You're Yeoman Malloy." "You have a microprobe." "I can't believe this." "You're a Questor?" "I think Astro Quest is the greatest science fiction show of all time." "I'm a Commander Bishop fan myself." "Who isn't?" "Why Malloy?" "I loved her." "I mean, I know that she was completely underwritten, but she was the only female biochemist on TV and I liked her spunk." "Do you think that, um," "I got the collar right?" "'Cause I think on the show that it might've been a little more, um, swoopy." "You..." "It looks perfect." "Thanks." "Can I see that?" "Wow..." "That's great." "Jihw-CHOK chom-CHEM jag-eej BRYCE cichoki." "I don't speak Vellikon." "What did you say?" "Security to Room 21-B immediately." "Oh, my God, Jon?" "Security, 21-B immediately..." "Jon?" "!" "We need medical personnel in 21-B." "Jon?" "!" "Medical personnel in 21-B." "Jon?" "Jon?" "Wake up!" "What is the matter with you?" "Oh, my God." "Speak to me!" "Jon?" "Jon?" "Excuse me." "Excuse me." "Excuse me." "Excuse me." "Wake up!" "Wake up!" "Please, everyone stay calm and stay back." "We're with the Crime Lab." "Ma'am, don't touch anything." "Don't..." "Jon!" "Please, come with me." "Jon." "Come with me." "Come with me." "Brass." "Yeah, it's Hodges." "Who?" "From Trace, we have a situation at the Whatifitcon." "The Whatifit-what?" "How'd you get this number?" "I cloned Grissom's cell phone on a work-related matter." "That's not important now." "We have a situation." "It's one of the exhibitors." "Could you be more specific?" "He's dead, Jim." "==ÆÆÀÃÐÜÀÖÔ°ÇãÇé·îÏ×==- ±¾×ÖÄ"½ö¹©Ñ§Ï°½"Á÷£¬ÑϽûÓÃÓÚÉÌÒµÓÃ;" "=ÆÆÀÃÐÜ×ÖÄ"×é=- ·­Ò룺ID У¶Ô£ºID ʱ¼äÖ᣺no3water" "Jonathan Danson, 36, from Chowchilla, California." "About 42 bucks and a couple of credit cards." "So, it probably wasn't a robbery." "Bloody nose, scratches on the face." "This guy's been in a fight or something." "You know, if there was a struggle it'd be really hard to tell on a set like this." "Liver temp was 89.7 degrees." "He probably died between midnight and 3:00 a.m." "So, between then and now there's probably been a few thousand people with access to this booth." "You're going to need a lot of tape lifts." "And swabs." "Or..." "I could run a vacuum cleaner over the whole scene, get exemplars from all these folks and keep you two knuckleheads busy for the next few months." "How'd that be?" "Hmm?" "Do me a favor beam yourselves back to the lab and let us do our job, please." "Okay." "Thank you." "Nice outfit." "I just can't believe it." "I mean, this-this project was Jonathan's dream." "We were so close." "So close to what?" "He spent five years on this pilot." "It's a remake of the original Astro Quest." "An executive from Paramount approached us about it- turning it into a full-on series for the CW." "Oh, yeah, really?" "No kidding." ""Produced by Jonathan Danson and Melinda Carver."" "So, do you have a financial interest in the project?" "Well, yeah, I financed it." "So, what happens to the rights with Jonathan out of the picture?" "They revert to me, I guess." "What are you getting at?" "Exactly what you think I am." "A guy in a red shirt dies at the beginning of most Astro Quest episodes." "I remember." "Come on in." "Thanks." "Take a look." "Perimortem bruise on the neck." "And a... right-angled laceration at the base of the nostrils." "The skin appears to be split, not cut." "There's metallic trace in the wound." "You and Wendy always go to Whatifitcon together?" "Actually, it was our first." "Pleasure working with you, Yeoman." "As always." "Tell me something, Commander." "Were you scared?" "I wasn't before." "But I am now." "But you're my commanding officer." "I'm also a man." "With a man's needs." "If you only knew how many nights I lay awake dreaming of a moment like this." "Oh..." "I can guess." "Hodges, you forgot this." "GCMS, chop-chop." "My name is Jonathan Danson, and I'm here to set you free." "Free from a vision of an antiseptic future filled with... with heroes and heroines who are always steadfast and well-adjusted and altruistic." "When was this taken?" "Last night, special preview event." "Anything interesting happens at a sci-fi convention, it's online somewhere about five seconds later." "Like most of you," "I grew up with Astro Quest." "Every Thursday night my dad would gather the family around our TV to watch the latest episode." "I loved it." "But the older I got, the more the mythology began to eat away at my soul." "I couldn't measure up to the brave crew of that perfect ship." "I wasn't handsome, courageous, strong." "I was weak, petty, self-destructive." "And I hated myself for it." "But then..." "One night... it hit me like a..." "like a bolt of lightning." "I looked around the bar at the other frightened, sad people and I... and I said to myself, "Do you see an Artemis Bishop here?"" ""Do you see one at work?"" "What's this?" "He's showing Redux." "Uh, in your apartment building or on the street?" "People, look around you." "Do you see an Artemis Bishop anywhere?" "Of course not." "Because he's a fictional construct." "A phantom who whispers, "You are not enough."" "Well, I am here to show you who we really are." "Ladies and gentlemen, I give you..." "Astro Quest:" "Redux." "I swear to God I'm gonna do her!" "Garth, you know me." "Just stand down." "I don't know anytytything anymore!" "I'm gonna do her." "I swear I'm gonna do her!" "Commander..." "Okay, Sally, everything's gonna be all right." "Nothing's ever gonna be all right again!" "Do you see that?" "!" "And now, you're gonna do what I want, too." "You suck." "You don't have the..." "Do you get it?" "We're not gonna watch that crap!" "Get outta here!" "So let me get this straight." "Some nerd takes a cheesy, '60s sci-fi show and turns it into something a little bit more realistic- minus the spaceship, of course- and the other nerds get pissed off enough that they beat him up and kill him over it?" "Well... people don't like it when you mess with their heroes." "You got something, Riley?" "Hmm..." "No sign of blood." "I doubt it's the murder weapon." "Are we going to have to figure out how many Dumpsters 3,000 people can fill in three days?" "Boy, I hope not." "Whoa." "I got a... whole lot of geek love on the command chair." "Isn't that nice for them?" "I just found A/V central." "DVD player, sound gear." "And the vic's laptop." "There's a DVD in the player." "According to Article 13 of the Planetary Alliance Charter, we find Jonathan Danson guilty of high treason." "This wasn't part of the presentation." "And the penalty is..." "Please!" "No!" "I'm sorry!" "I won't ever do it again!" "Don't kill me, please!" "I got to start watching this show." "Sic Semper Tradi torae." "Death to traitors." "Yeah?" "Uh, Catherine, um, hypothetically, if I knew of someone in the lab having a relationship..." "What kind of a relationship?" "Um... personal." "Affectionate." "Romantic?" "Okay." "Um, hypothetically, if I knew of someone in the lab having a romantic relationship would I be obligated to report them?" "Yes." "To Ecklie." "And, hypothetically, would they suffer consequences?" "Are they hypothetically on the same shift?" "Yes." "Supervisor-subordinate?" "No." "Well, one of them would have to change shifts, but other than that, they should be fine." "Just tell them to report it to Ecklie and to go for it." "Life's too short, right?" "So what's a college professor doing taping the debut of Astro Quest:" "Redux in a science fiction convention?" "I was there with my crew." "I'm making a documentary on the gestalt constructs of sci-fi mytho-cultures." "Really?" "Have a seat." "Thank you." "I wanted to talk to you about your video." "The crowd didn't seem to like Danson's new take on their old mythology." "Danson was a provocateur." "I actually loved his boldness." "But he was playing with fire." "You believe one of these people killed him?" "Would you believe it?" "To its fans," "Astro Quest is more than just a television show." "It's a religion." "When he screened his Redux, that was the sci-fi equivalent of Martin Luther nailing his "95 Theses"" "to the door of the Castle Church in Wittenberg." "That's keeping it in perspective." "People kill each other all the time over belief systems, Mr. Sanders." "Or perhaps you're not familiar with the Middle East." "C.O.D. was cerebral hemorrhage due to blunt-force trauma." "Sharp blow to the nasal bone snapped the nasofrontal suture, driving it into the frontal sinus, where a secondary fracture penetrated the frontal lobe." "Instant unconsciousness." "He was dead within minutes." "Any idea what hit him?" "Something angular, silver-colored." "We haven't found the murder weapon yet." "Uh, David, would you finish stitching him up, please?" "I'm not a seamstress." "I'm a coroner's investigator, damn it." "He's been doing that all day." "He's riffing Corpsman Scully's one-liners from Astro Quest." "Didn't watch it much." "Because you're not a couch potato." "You're a medical examiner, damn it." "Well, he was obviously in some kind of struggle." "What do you make of this contusion here?" "It's on a pressure point." "Maybe someone attempted a sleeper hold." "You mean like a Sethlan submission claw?" "That's real?" "Well, you tell me." "Ah!" "Okay!" "Ow!" "Ow!" "Ow!" "There was something odd in the stomach contents." "Take a whiff." "Alcohol." "Cura?" "o, maybe." "What are these, um, vermiform chunks of meat?" "Those are Vellikon skullworms, which would of course explain the Tijillian ale." "It's Astro Quest food." "Some of the bars and restaurants around the convention do that sort of stuff for the conventioneers." "That hurt." "Good." "His name is Jonathan Danson." "You recognize him?" "Yeah." "Yeah, he was in here that night." "And he wasn't a happy camper." "He'd been alone at the bar knocking back drinks when this Astro Quest girl comes up." "Yeah, another Vapor, please." "He started jocking her pretty hard." "No, thank you." "No?" "Could you please let go of me now?" "Please." "Her friends didn't like that." "Sir, you just need to let go of my commander." "Everything will be okay." "Sir, please." "Let go!" "Just let go!" "Hey, stop that!" "You have no respect!" "Get him!" "First off, we abhor violence." "That's the first thing wrong with your entire show!" "Yeah, now- see how it feels?" "I'm not down with violence." "So I put an end to it." "Any of those people in these photos?" "Yeah, these three right here." "You didn't happen to get any names, did you?" "No." "Sorry." "After the fight they all split." "Well, there's nothing worse than a bunch of drunk conventioneers." "Must be hard enough to sling drinks without making you play dress-up." "How do you like this makeup?" "Got it on my second tour of Afghanistan." "These Astro Questors, they believe in a future where human beings, they transcend their differences." "I wouldn't mind living in a world like that." "Yeah, me either." "You better be careful." "That thing gave me a nasty little shock." "Well, of course it did." "This is the..." "Compliance yoke from "The Slavers of Sirenodon."" "It's a classic." "I know, right?" "So, the commander and his crew are basically forced into hard labor, right?" "By the planet's... disembodied rulers." "Disembodied, yeah." "And they make everybody wear one of these things around their necks." "Yeah, and if they don't follow orders, then they get zapped with this paralyzing pain." "Hey!" "Hodges!" "You don't have gloves on." "It hasn't been processed." "Sorry." "Don't make me use this." "What, if anything else, did you do growing up?" "Sneer if you wish, but science fiction has been the inspiration for many great technological breakthroughs." "I'm not knocking it." "I love sci-fi." "You know, specially that talking horse show." "That was one of my favorites." "Mr. Ed?" "Yeah." "Yeah." "That's not science fiction." "Sure, it is." "It postulates an alternate universe in which horses evolve a larynx." "No." "See, that's fantasy." "No, fantasy is anything that travels faster than the speed of light, Hodges." "Which is why if Albert Einstein were alive today, he'd slap your face." "I wasn't born to be a slave." "Is this what we're supposed to do for the rest of our lives?" "Yes." "The supervisors assign us the tasks we are to perform." "Yours is to collect carbonite rocks." "Mine is to ensure that you collect carbonite rocks." "I'm sick of picking up rocks!" "Rest if you wish." "What I wish... is to be free." "On my planet we choose where we go, what to do, who to love." "What is... love?" "On my planet, love is the single most important thing that can happen between sentient beings." "Oh, you mean mating." "When the time comes to increase the staff, my supervisor will approve a mate for me." "Wouldn't you like to choose your own mate?" "Wouldn't you like that?" "Such talk is not permitted in the workplace." "Wouldn't you like... just once... to choose for yourself?" "No!" "No!" "Catherine said it would be all right." "That Ecklie wouldn't have any problem with it." "Hey, Hodges." "No!" "Hodges!" "Yes?" "I got work hits off both sets of those prints from that DVD, and they are locals." "Well, sort of." "They're from Pahrump." "How do you do, ma'am?" "I'm Detective Jim Brass, Las Vegas Police." "We're looking for Lionel Rose and Steuben Lorenz." "They're upstairs." "Where else?" "Identification?" "Mom, not now." "I told you we're debriefing." "Red alert." "Yeah, we made it." "It was a joke." "Of course, humor is subjective." "So, when Jonathan Danson found you sabotaging his life's work, did he subjectively kick your ass?" "Hey!" "What the hell are you guys doing here?" "What..." "Don't touch that!" "No, no, that's not true." "He kicked our asses before, at the bar." "You see, I adopted a Gandhi-esque strategy of passive resistance to force the aggressor to recognize the immorality of his actions, while Lionel attempted to avoid confrontation like an inferior male baboon who presents his rump for the dominant male to mount." "Unfortunately..." "Danson proved ignorant of baboon body language." "We-we didn't even go to the convention hall that night." "We sent her:" "Risa." "Risa Parvess." "P" " A-R-V-E-S-S." "I didn't think it was a good idea." "I mean, she's always been really unstable." "Did you deliver the payload?" "Yeah, I guess, but there were... complications." "Complications, like what?" "Did someone see you?" "If you did anything to compromise the safety of this crew..." "There is no crew!" "This isn't a spaceship!" "I'm done playing your stupid games." "Where do we find her?" "I have no idea." "She's always been quite unstable." "Hey." "Hey." "I just got the results back from the command chair, and it's the victim, plus an unknown female, so we're closing in." "Great." "Hey, also, I was thinking that maybe after shift, it would be kind of fun to have a little Astro Quest mini-marathon." "Ooh." "Like maybe "Yesterday's Tomorrow,"" "parts 1, 2, and 3?" "You mean the time travel trilogy from season 4?" "Oh, yes." "It's great." "Yeah, count me in." "Good." "Yeah." "Hey, uh, I'll even spring for pizza if it's not too much of a crowd." "Well, two is not much of a crowd, really, so..." "You mean just you and me?" "Yeah." "You, me, the Blu-Ray DVD box set and a brand-new plasma TV." "Over at your place?" "Yeah." "That's where I keep my TV." "Okay, sounds good." "Yeah, it will be." "Have you ever actually seen one?" "I mean, have you ever actually seen one... in the flesh?" "A Tijillian concubine." "Feral... carnal... voracious." "I'd say she was worth a change in shift." "Wouldn't you?" "You're on fire." "Hodges, you're on fire!" "What happened?" "I was checking the unknown's solubility in acetone, when I guess it caught on fire." "My mind wandered." "That's been happening a lot lately, Hodges." "What's going on with you?" "There's nothing going on." "This is a crime lab, not some Tijillian casbah." "Excuse me?" "You, me, a DVD..." "I don't think it's going to help us catch a killer." "Are you actually trying to blame all this on me?" "Not in so many words." "Okay, you know what?" "I asked you to come over and watch a DVD- that's it- so if you're having some fantasies about me dressed up in a tinfoil bikini, dancing around in a casbah on a strange alien planet, then... good." "Good?" "Yes, good, 'cause it means you're not as oblivious as everyone around here seems to think you are." "But the fact is, if you can't handle the way... if you can't handle the way that those fantasies make you feel, don't turn all that around and blame me when you screw up." "Don't worry about it." "It's not gonna happen again." "Well, that's not the only thing that's not gonna happen." "Fine." "Fine." "Yeah, she, uh, wandered into the bar a couple hours ago." "Totally strung out." "Right." "Put a little caffeine in her, a little conversation, and she was willing to come in and do the right thing." "Okay... thanks." "No problem." "Hey, you know, um... they were giving these away at the convention." "You should check it out." "You might like it." "Thanks." "Miss Parvess?" "My name is Nick Stokes." "I'm with the crime lab." "I really appreciate you... coming down here to talk with me." "Okay, I'm going to make this real easy for you." "I know that Jonathan Danson harassed you in the bar." "And I know you were in the booth that night planting your pals' DVD." "I also found evidence of sexual activity on the command chair." "Now, listen." "If he assaulted you in any way and you fought back, that's self-defense." "You know that, right?" "It wasn't self-defense." "I liked his show." "I think he must have been able to sense that when he saw me at the bar." "I used to be just like you." "Tormented by impulses I thought were dirty." "Desires that have no place in a squeaky-clean universe." "Let go of me." "Let go of yourself." "Stop trying to be something you're not, and the guilt that's eating you alive will fall away." "Let me set you free." "He took me... to an incredible place." "No preconceptions or judgments." "Just... pure impulse and... raw instincts." "He showed me who I really was." "He even gave me his cell phone number." "He said he was going to take me to Cabo." "Well, I'd say that confirms at least part of her story." "Where did you get this?" "Found it on the vic's laptop." "He has quite a collection." "And that's Melinda Carver, his producer." "That's about seven hours before Risa, just before the VIP premiere of his show." "It's good to be the commander." "So, what's the point?" "The point is that you didn't tell me that you were banging the dead guy." "That had nothing to do with this." "And you didn't tell me you emptied out your 401 and gave all the money to Danson." "We checked his bank records." "He needed it to complete the project." "Right." "He's been completing a t of projects lately." "And according to the GPS tags on those photographs, he's been working his mojo at most major sci-fi conventions in America." "He's a busy guy." "I knew about the other women, because Jon told me about them." "We had, uh, an open relationship." "Look..." "Jon was an extremely... complicated human being." "He was trying to expose the hypocrisy of a sick society." "He was a real artist, and that's all that mattered to me, not who he was poking in that chair." "That's a nice speech." "I'm done talking to you." "And that's a nice purse." "I'm gonna have to hang on to that." "Check it for blood." "Be my guest." "The weird thing about these photos is the camera angle and the background never change." "Which means there must be a hidden camera on the set somewhere?" "May I?" "Yeah." "Every shot, the victim's hand is on that button." "It must be some kind of trigger." "Mm-hmm." "You didn't notice a camera?" "No, I didn't, but, I mean, they make them pretty small these days." "Some of them even have built-in memory." "In other words, if we find it, we may have a photo of our killer." "The background in the photo is this point here." "The beam needs to line up with the left arm of the chair." "Bring it up a bit." "A little bit more." "Perfect." "The camera should be somewhere along this beam." "I don't see any camera here." "Maybe Danson had a voyeur buddy take the sex pics." "Hmm, from the same exact angle every time?" "Wendy." "I think I've got it." "Got what?" "The metallic trace from the victim's wound." "Okay, give me a second." "Does this remind you of anything?" "Yes." "Right?" "Yes." "Langston." "It's Hodges and Wendy." "What do you got?" "Yeah, uh, we know what killed Danson." "It's in the helm." "Okay, I'm going to put you on speaker." "Now, it's, it's in the what?" "It's the console that's directly opposite the command chair." "There's a retractable viewer inside." "It's from the show." "Looks like some kind of piston system." "Yeah, th-there should be a control for it someplace." "It's called a targeting scanner." "I think we have it." "We also have a digital sex camera." "And blood, 90-degree angle." "Silver metal paint and a bloody fingerprint." "Nice work, people." "See you back at the lab." "Nice work, Hodges." "You, too, Simms." "Is she mad at you again?" "Why don't you two just get it over with?" "You've been dancing around it for years." "Just tell her how you feel." "Tell her what, Mr. Andrews?" "That I'd never be able to give myself to her fully?" "Because I've made a commitment... to this lab." "The pursuit of justice." "Do you think it's easy?" "In the dead of night, I can't help but wonder what it'd be like to savor the pleasures of ordinary men." "Moonlit dinners." "Murmured endearments." "The caress of a woman's soft skin." "Long, languid walks on the beach." "But you hate the beach." "It's understandable," "I guess, considering your complexion." "What?" "It's good that you're politically active because if you weren't, you wouldn't have been arrested at that sit-in at Global Media six years ago." "Caught in the web of the combine." "That's a reference to One Fl..." "Yeah, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest." "I know." "And I also know that you didn't mean to kill Jonathan Danson." "I know that." "It happened." "But this is your one chance to get out in front of it, so tell me what happened." "Just tell me the truth, and I promise I'll do everything I can to help you." "I will." "Jonathan Danson took my media semiotics course." "He was a good student." "I heard about his project and thought it would be perfect material for my documentary." "But then I saw Redux." "I'm gonna do her!" "I swear I'm gonna do her!" "I gave a lecture once, deconstructing Astro Quest as an example." "Jonathan had integrated all of my conceits into his fictional construct." "He stole your idea." "He didn't ask for permission." "He, he didn't even acknowledge me in the credits." "You want credit?" "Now, why would I give you that?" "Because they're my ideas." "Whatever happened to "Nobody can own an idea"?" "Let me tell you something." "Ideas are a dime a dozen." "If you want to make them into art, it takes drive, vision, creativity." "Hey, I have created..." "What?" "Hyperintellectual diarrhea?" "Go back to writing theory papers for the six other people in your department who read them." "I've got a TV show to make." "You!" "Let me go!" "Not until you cool down." "You gonna be cool?" "Yes." "20 years devoted to media theory." "Talk about a wasted life." "You see the irony, don't you?" "Jon attempted to deconstruct Astro Quest's iconography, and he was killed by one of the signifiers he sought to subvert." "Derrida, Derrida would have called that..." "An epistemological dichotomy?" "I just call it second-degree murder." "Anybody up for a little Astro Quest?" "Oh, no, not tonight." "Thanks, though." "All right." "Break room in five." "Let's go." "Uh, no, thanks." "Enjoy." ""A Dollop of Apocalypse."" "Oh, that's the one where they find this planet where, um, amphibians are the dominant species, and they worship Peyton Place as a sacred text." "It's classic." "W" " Wait, the amphibians can read and they choose that?" "There's a reason for it." "You'll see." "Jihw-CHOK chom-CHEM jag-eej BRYCE cichoki." "I don't speak Vellikon." "What'd you say?" "Anytime you're ready, Ecklie." "You will leave me... now?" "The lab needs me." "You have needs of your own, as do I." "Maybe someday our needs will coincide." "I hope so." "Until then..." "Someday."

"The One With Joey's Dirty Day" "So now, what is this now?" "Guggly worm." "And this?" "Glow-pop giggly jammer." "You make it so funny." "Hey umm, what's this?" "Ohh, a hunk of sandwich from last year." "Ohh, Geller's got one hooked!" "Ohh!" "Looks like a big one!" "Yeah, ohh!" "Ohh!" "It's the classic struggle between man and?" "Someone knocked over a lamp." "That's all right." "Hey you guys, you know what's going to be great about the fishing trip this year?" "When my dad gets me out in the middle of the lake and gives me that, "Joey, what are you doing with your life?" stuff." "I can say," ""Well, I'm doing a movie with Charlton Heston dad." "What are you doing with your life?"" "Great!" "You don't have to stop having fun just because I'm here." "Kathy didn't cheat on all of you." "Well, except you." "Hey, Joey, I don't think that you should leave Chandler alone." "I mean it's only been two days since he broke up with Kathy." "Maybe you can go fishing next week?" "Look, there's nothing I can do for him right now, he's still in his sweat pants, that's still Phase One." "Y'know?" "I'll be back for Phase Two, I would never miss Phase Two." "What's Phase Two?" "Gettin' drunk and going to a strip club." "How does going to a strip club make him better?" "there are naked ladies there." "Oh!" ". and how's get to Phase Three, picturing yourself with other women." " There are naked ladies there too." " Yeah." "Would you give me one minute!" "Please." "So, these will match the jacket you picked out for me last week?" "Um-hmm." "There we go." "There it is." " Oh!" "You know what I need?" " Yeah!" " gloves." "Brown, leather dress gloves." "Oh, okay." "Uhh, well let's see." "You're about?" "well uh, this one is large." "And this one?" " Also large?" " Yeah!" "Okay, two larges coming right up!" "Okay." "Rachel!" "Could I have a moment?" "Yes." "I-I was wondering, my niece you see is in from London?" "well Shropshire really but y'know?" "well she's about your age I say." "Anyway I have tickets for the opera, Die Fledermaus, and I was wondering if you'd like to keep her company this evening?" " Sure." "You got it." "Great!" " Oh, good." " Me, Fledermaus, great." "I really?" "Ohh!" "Yes of course, thank you, thank you, thank you so very much." "So..." "So?" " Gloves?" " Ohh!" "Right!" "Right, sorry, I'll be right back!" " Uhh, actually y'know what, I kinda?" "I have to take off." " Oh." "But, I was curious. do you have any plans for tonight?" "No!" "Nothing!" "I invested in this night-club and it's opening tonight, would you like to come?" "Yeah!" "That would be great!" "You're into hardcore SM right?" "Well, I-I guess?" "I..." "Kidding!" "I'm gonna get there early, but I'm going to put you on the V.I.P list, okay?" "Look for me." " Yeah, great, you betcha!" " I'll see youtonight." " Okay" "I almost forget the tickets, didn't I?" "What?" "For you and Emily, tonight, Die Fledermaus." "Oh." "Oh, right." "I think you'll like it, it has two out of the three tenors." "Oh yay!" "Y'know, I can't believe Kathy did this too me." "I really, thought that she was the one." "I tell you what, from now on I'm never getting out of this chair, ever!" "Okay?" "From now on, this chair is the one!" "You wanna what else is the one?" "My sweat pants!" "Come on, man!" "Just-just take the sweats off." "Okay?" "Just take 'em off and we'll have some fun." " Hey-hey!" " Hi!" " Hey!" " Catch any big fish?" " Oh my God, you guys have no idea." " Oh!" "God!" "Wow!" " You stink!" " Are you kidding?" "!" "Yeah, three days on the lake without a shower." "Plus!" "I fell in that big tub of worms at the bait stand!" "Hey, how-how's he doing?" "He hasn't gotten out of that chair in two days." "Hey buddy!" "How's it going?" "Hey, see that?" "He just needed his pal to come home." "All right, uh, I've got to go memorise my lines." "Me and Charlton Heston bright and early tomorrow morning!" "Yeah-yeah!" " Hey!" " Hey!" "Hey, Monica!" "Uh-oh, what's the matter?" "Ohh, it's Joshua invited me to this fancy club opening tonight." "But, I already told Mr. Waltham that I would take his niece to this dumb old opera." "So..." "What are you gonna do?" "I don't know sweetie." "No!" "Help me!" "I can't!" "I have to work!" "Phoebe?" " I would, but I get my morning sickness in the evening." " Ugh!" "Unless!" "She wants to spend the night holding my hair back for me." "Ohh, gosh." "You guys, come on, this is?" "I have to meet Joshua!" "This is my one chance for him to see the fun Rachel." "Y'know the "Wouldn't it be great if she was my wife" Rachel." "Ohh, all right!" "Are Joey and Chandler back?" "No, Chandler's still in Phase One, and Joey's that thing you smell." "Ohh!" "Hi!" "Hi!" "So...." "No." "Ohhhh, come on!" "I think she's here." "No!" "Wait!" "Wait-wait!" "Ross, please!" "You want me to take some girl I've never met to the opera so you can go to a club and flirt with some guy, hmm, that-that is a toughie." "Ohh, she's looking down the hall." "Oh!" "She looked right at me!" "Oh wait, you can't see people through that little hole, can you?" "Hello!" "Hello!" " I'll be right there!" " Okay, Ross, please come on!" "I thought we have moved on!" "I thought we've gotten to a place where we could be happy for each other!" "was that just me?" " All right, I'll do it." " Oh thank you!" "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" "Emily?" "Yes." "I'm Rachel Green." "Thank goodness." "There's been a teeny-teeny change in plans." "It turns out that I'm not free tonight." "So..." "Really?" "!" "Well, that's just lovely, isn't it?" "I must've missed your call, even though I didn't leave the flat all day." " Oh well, no I..." " Oh, no-no-no, that's not rude!" "It's perfectly in keeping with a trip that I've already been run down by one of your wiener carts, and been strip-searched at John F. Kennedy Airport, apparently to you people, I look like someone who's got a balloon full of cocaine stuffed up their bum." "I-I-I think you look great." "Good night, it was very nice to meet you all." "I'll get her." "Please hurry." "just love the way they talk?" "!" " Ohh!" " What?" "It kicked!" "I think the baby kicked!" "Oh my God!" "Oh no wait, oh no, the elastic on my underwear busted." "Oh my God!" "I overslept!" "I was supposed to be on the set a half an hour ago!" "I gotta get out of here!" "Oh wait, Joey, you can't go like that!" "You stink!" "Look, I know I feel asleep before I could shower and now I don't have time!" "They're just ten blocks away, if I run, I can make it." "Yeah." "Run ten blocks, that'll help the smell." "Hey?" "whoa, slow down." "No, keep moving." "Wow!" "So?" "How did it go with Joshua last night?" "Well, I didn't see Joshua, but I did punch a girl in the face." " What?" " Why?" "The whole night was horrible, it was pouring down rain, and when I got there, there was no Rachel Green on the list, but there was a Rachel Greep." "Ohh!" "So, did you get to meet her?" "No, there is no Rachel Greep, but then this other girl overheard us and she was all," ""I'm Rachel Greep!" "I'm Rachel Greep!" and he let her right in." "So you hit her in the face?" "No, she was already in, but then this big bitch behind me tried to steal my umbrella, so I clocked her." "Ohhh!" "I can't believe this, all I wanted was a few hours outside of work to see Joshua, so he can go ahead and start falling in love with me." "Aww, Pheebs." "Honey, that's you're name." "That's short for Phoebe?" "!" "I thought that was just what we called each other!" "Hey!" "You're wearing pants!" "That's right!" "Where are the guys?" "I'm ready to get drunk and see some strippers." "It's 9:30 in the morning!" "They got a breakfast buffet." "Hello." "Oh, hey Ross!" "Ooh, let me talk to him!" " Oh-oh, my God!" " Well, can I just..." " Shh!" "Wait, what?" " She's shhing me!" "It's my phone and she's shhing me!" " Shhh!" "Please!" "What's he saying?" "He's with Emily at a Bed and Breakfast in Vermont!" " What?" "Oh my God!" " What?" "Who the hell is Emily?" "noooo!" "They're in Vermont!" "How could this happen?" "!" "Ow!" "How?" "how did end up in Vermont with that awful witch?" "!" "Maybe, she doesn't hit him all the time." "When we first met her, she was soaking, her feet were wet!" "Who wouldn't be miserable?" "I'm telling you when I got her into a dry pair of shoes, she was a totally different person." "Ross!" "Come quickly!" "There's a deer just outside eating fruit from the orchard!" "I've gotta go, there's a deer just outside eating fruit from the orchard!" "He had to go, there's a deer just outside eating fruit from the orchard." "I don't get this!" "She was horrible!" "Okay, I'm going to go stand over there." "Why do you care so much anyway?" "I don't care!" "All right, y'know what I'm just upset that I'm getting nowhere with Joshua that?" "y'know what still, you do not meet someone and go flitting off to Vermont!" "Well, when you first met Barry, you flitted off to Vail." "Oh, y'know, would you just for once, not remember every..." "little...thing!" "So y'know, uh, when's he getting back?" "A couple of days." "Y'know, I knew something like this was going to happen." "What are you doing?" "!" "Chandler!" "You can't just go back a phase!" "Yes you can." "You're thinking about time, you can't go back in time." "Well, look, why don't you just, why don't you do your Phase Two strip club thing with us." "Yeah, come on, we can be guys!" "No you can't." "Come on!" "Let us be guys!" "Maybe we want to be guys!" "You don't want to be guys, you'd be all hairy and wouldn't live as long." "Y'know you, you just stop being such a wuss and get those off and you come with us and watch naked girls dance around!" "Okay." "I'm sorry." "Hey!" "Joey Tribbiani!" "I'm here!" "I'm here!" "Calm down, we got time, we're running a little late." "Look at that, Charlton Heston eating a liquorice whip!" "Yeah, we loves 'em." "I've never seen him with?" "Whoa!" "Yeah, what the hell is that?" "What smells so bad?" "You." "I can see why you think that, but ah, actually, you know who I think it is?" "You?" "No-no, it's uh, it's Heston." "What?" "Yeah, the man wreaks!" "Smells like he went on a three day fishing trip and then ate some liquorice." "There's no way he smells, he's the only one around here with a shower in his dressing room" "Really, a shower huh?" "And uh, which-which room might that be?" "The one with "Heston" on it." "Interesting." "Okay, I've got some Ones, you wanna put them in her panties?" "No thanks, Mom!" "Oh, no umm, hi, that-that, you have to put that out, 'cause I'm pregnant." "Well, maybe you and your baby should go to another strip club." "Ha-ha, it's not my baby, ha-ha-ha!" " Very good, so good." " I really, really enjoyed it." "Very exotic." "Well, I just checked our messages and Joshua didn't call." "you'd think he'd be worried about me not showing up at his club." "Ugh, you know what makes it so much worse, Ross is all happy in Vermont!" "Come on!" "Look where you are!" "When you get a sec, another round of daiquiris." "Remember, a virgin for me please." "Oh!" "And don't let me leave without getting the name of that carpet guy." "Ahh, come on!" "Y'know what?" "y'know what, I think I'm just gonna go home and call Kathy." "if you think it will help." "No!" "That was a test!" "In a couple of hours I'm gonna get really drunk and wanna call Kathy and you guys are gonna have to stop me!" "And then after that, I'm gonna get so drunk, I'm gonna wanna call Janice" " You should!" "How is she?" " Ohhh!" "I think somebody needs another lap dance." "Hello!" "Who's in there?" "How ya doin'?" "Who in the hell are you?" "I guess you wouldn't believe me if I said I was Kurt Douglas, huh?" "Put some pants on kid so I can kick your butt." "No-no-no, no, no, wait." "You see, I'm an actor," "Joey Tribbiani, I'm doing a scene with you today, and well, I stink." "You're in this picture?" "Yeah-yeah, I'm one of the cops that won't work with you 'cause you a lose cannon." "Anyway, look, I'm really sorry, but I stink!" "Joey, right?" "Yeah." "Every actor at one time or another?" "opp!" "Every actor thinks he stinks, even Lawrence Oliver at sometimes thought he stank, Bob Redford won't even watch himself." "Oh no-no-no, you don't understand..." " Listen to me!" " Oh yeah, yeah." "I don't know one actor worth his salt one time in his career didn't say "God, I stink!" Hell," "I just did a scene out there, first take, I stunk the place up." "But, the important thing you must remember, no matter how badly you think you stink, you must never, ever bust into my dressing room and use my shower!" "Do you understand me?" "!" "Yes sir!" "Yes sir, I'm-I'm?" "Wait a minute!" "Take your pants." "Yeah." "Oh, yeah." "So, we did okay at the strip club, right?" "Oh yeah, that was great." "Thanks to you, the hottest cocktail waitress there is quitting to teach the third grade!" "I can't believe it!" "He still hasn't called." "Who, Josh?" "It's Joshua." "What, he doesn't like Josh?" "No, I don't." "All right, well I'm gonna put my sweats back on." "Oh no!" "Wait!" "Wait!" "Okay, y'know what, you were right, you were right." "We really weren't great at being guys, but you know why?" "Because we're girls." " Yeah?" " Okay. do you know what girls are really good at?" "Stripping!" "No, listening!" "Sit!" "Y'know, maybe it would just really, really help if you would just talk." "Yeah, come on!" "What's going in on in there?" "Yeah." "And y'know, if you wanna cry, that's okay too." "Okay, look, I'm gonna have to ask you all to leave." "Come on!" "Chandler!" "Look, forget it." "We tried, but Phase Three is a lost cause, Okay?" "Those strippers were insanely hot, and I couldn't picture myself with any of them." " They really were pretty, weren't they?" " Oh!" "who?" "Yeah, I really liked that fighter pilot one." "Oh, Candy!" "She was so spunky!" "Yeah." "Y'know, I think if I were going to be with a woman." "It'd, it'd be with someone like Michelle, she was so oh, she was so petite." "See, I don't know, for me it would have to Chantal." " Oh, Chantal!" " Y'know?" " oh my goodness she had the smoothest skin!" "I mean when I stuck that dollar bill in her g-string and grazed her thigh..." "Phase Three!" "I just achieved Phase Three!" "Really?" "!" "I am totally picturing you with all those women!" "That's-that's not Phase Three." "Well, I'm there too!" "Well, are we all together?" "Like in a group?" "Stop it!" "You're killing me!" "I think I just moved on to Phase Four!" "Oh!" "What is that?" "What is that?" "Where I don't want to have a relationship ever!" "I just want to have sex with strippers and my friends!" "Come on, let me see that smile." "I don't wanna." "Please?" "I wanted to go to the strip club!" "I know, I know, but you're gonna have plenty of chances." "There are literally thousands of women out there just waiting to screw me over." "Yeah, all right." " Hey!" " Hey!" " Hey?" "ooh so, how was Vermont?" "Emily is...incredible." "I mean there-there are no words to describe her, the whole weekend was like a dream." " Oh!" "And you!" "Rach!" " Oh, hey!" "Hey!" "You were so right!" "What?" "Uh, what you said, about us being in a place where we could finally be happy for each other." "I mean, I, I-I admit I-I wasn't quite there." "Y'know, I mean the thought of you and that-that Josh guy..." "Joshua." "Joshua...guy at that club, dancing and having a good time, the thought of it kinda...y'know." " Yeah, I..." " But now!" "I'm there!" "I'm totally there!" "I'm-I'm finally where you are!" "Oh, thank goodness!" "Yeah, and-and thank you for Emily." "Oh, no problem." "I'm so glad I could help." "Y'know?" "Happy for you." "Happy for you." "No, happy for you!" "All right ladies, here's what we're gonna do." "You are gonna take off my clothes." "You two, go get the oils." "And you just constantly scream at the top of your voice, "Chandler's the king!" "Chandler's the king!"" "I-I wanna be with her, I like her." "Oh, that's fine!" "Go with your instincts, go with your instincts." "Wait, now, what am I doing again?" "Come on!" "Would you please pay attention, I could wake up at any moment!" "Hi, I'm Joshua, I'm here to pick up Rachel." "No-no-no, that' not Joshua." "I've never met the guy." "So anyway, Rachel, I'm sorry you can't stay, but the rest of us have a lot of work to do." "What are you doing?" "All right, listen, I've got to wake up!"

"Athena!" "Wh-- why?" "6000 men-- groups of Athens." "My men-- all gone." "He's behind you." "What are you?" "Where did your army come from?" "For Athena!" "Ha-ha." "Decent!" "Congratulations, Agathon." "Your army's done well." "Well?" "Six thou,man--instant legend!" "You and me--we work good together." "And this metal?" "There's no stopping me." "Oh-- of course, that means no stopping you, War God." "I couldn't have given the metal of Haphaestus to just anyone." "It's time for the new generation to lead the old out of the darkness." "Classic-- but don't play salesman, Ares." "I know what you want out of me, and I'll give it to you." "'Cause, all I've ever wanted is to rule the world-- and this metal gives it to me." "There he is." "Walsim-- murderer, assassin!" "Killer!" "You killer, you!" "He's a killer!" "Who is that?" "!" "Fire!" "He's getting away!" "Hah!" "How's it going, Xena?" "I was hoping you'd remember that trick." "I have a proposition for you." "If you refuse, I take you back to the ax-man." "Sounds pretty one-sided-- and if I say yes?" "Chances are, you'll die." "We're going up against Ares." "In a time of ancient gods, warlords, and kings," "A land in turmoil cried out for a hero." "She was Xena, a mighty princess, forged in the heat of battle." "The power... the passion... the danger..." "Her courage will change the world..." "Ah, there was no proof I did it." "He was stabbed with a spear." "You were holding it at the time." "Well, if you wanna go technical on me." "How's it going, roomies?" "You're just as dead as the rest of us." "Yeah, right." "Just remember that, for the time being." "I got no problem with shortening the time." "Xena?" "!" "Darnell, Monlik?" "Down there-- now!" "Glaphyra?" "I know you're in here." "Whoa!" "There was a lady in here?" "I'm no lady." "Sorry, gentlemen-- this is a private party." "Don't follow unless you wanna be buried alive." "Oooh-- nice collection." "OK" " I figure, we got three things in common." "We're all killers;" "we don't know each other;" "but, we all know you-- personally." "We don't have time for chit-chat or reminiscing, so I'll do the introductions." "Monlik here, was a master thief-- taught Autolycus a thing or two." "Darnelle, I found in a small village-- trained him up to be a gladiator." "He was an unbeatable killer." "Your training was good-- my talent was a gift." "And Walsim?" "Walsim was the finest assassin I ever trained." "He partnered with Thersites for a while." "You introduced him to me-- and I hear you offed him." "Glaphyra?" "Glaphyra, when I met her, was eager to see the world." "She ended up a slaver-- selling men to traders from the south." "Just men?" "I specialize-- but none of this explains why you brought us here." "Ares-- she wants us to go up against Ares." "If you agree, it's your chance at freedom-- maybe even to start again." "If not, I take you back to prison." "Going up against the god of war is insane." "There's something you're not telling us." "What is it?" "There must be thousands of them over these hills-- the Athenian infantry." "They're all like that-- swords, shields, armor-- cut right through." "What could do this?" "We're about to find out." "Where'd you learn that?" "!" "I'm a princess-- !" "Walsim, you can't rely on your weapon!" "It's useless!" "Come on!" "Back to the forge!" "We'd better get going." "They'll be back soon with reinforcements." "Wait a minute." "What was that?" "What were their weapons made of?" "That's the metal of Hephaestus." "Ares stole the secret and gave it to a warlord named Agathon." "That's what we're up against." "Make sure the edges are sharp." "Now, all you gotta do is find an army." "You kiddin' me?" "!" "Once word gets out about that Athenian gig," "I'll have bad boys bustin' down the gates to join in." "That trick took only a few hundred." "So, what do you say, we march on Athens in a month?" "There's a fire in you I really like, but-- don't be too much of a hurrier" "Yeah, yeah, I'm not like Callisto" "I can pace myself, War God." "Whoa!" "Nice 'ceps!" "Do you work out, or are all you gods cut?" "You have something else to deal with" "Xena-- she's on her way." "Xena?" "Yeah." "The former number one Ares femme-- the owner of the-- of the chakram?" "Others have made the mistake of underestimating her." "No, no, no, no,War God-- nobody underestimates Xena." "They underestimate you." "You've got a-- hot spot for the killer babe, and when push comes to shove, you follow your, uh--lower instincts-- know what I mean?" "You are smarter than you look-- and you're not frightened of me." "It's annoying, but-- it sets you apart from the others" " I've dealt with." " Except Xena." "She didn't cut you any slack, either." "Whatever" " I need your word, or whatever it is that binds you god-types." "Xena's time with me has ended." "I won't intervene." "Good" "Whoa!" "Ha-- 'cause I'm-- gonna kill her." "It's getting late." "We'll stay here for the night." "OK." "All right-- OK, we need to build a fire pit, grab some wood, and, um-- get some water for the morning-- or I can do it." "Glaphyra and Monlik, start unpacking the tents;" "Walsim, dig the fire pit;" "Darnell, you're on wood patrol.Move it." "Here." "It is gonna be a long night." "I'll have to stay up and keep an eye on them." "You afraid they might run?" "Well that, and their habit of killing people." "Huh!" "Why don't you do a rotation?" "Each one can take a turn watching the other?" "Murderers guarding murderers-- that's not a good idea." "Maybe not." "Can I ask you something?" "These people-- all of 'em-- were they murderers before you met them?" "I mean, it seems like, maybe they" "Gabrielle-- it was me." "I changed them." "Before they met me, they were" "They were like me-- real people-- maybe even good people." "Walsim" " I" "I could see him as a farmer at one time." "He was a carpenter." "I wonder, what would have happened if I had met you before-- before-- you know" "Gabrielle, I could never see you as being evil." "There is a difference between them and you." "What difference?" "Xena, I have changed so much since I met you." "I wonder how much of that is timing." "Does it really matter?" "Am I really who I am?" "Or am I what you made me?" "We better get going." "If I'm gonna stay up all night," "I wanna get an early start." "OK-- are you-- from the land of Nomidia?" "Nope." "Are you-- ?" "All right, now, you listen up." "We've got a couple of days ahead of us, before we get to Agathon's castle-- and we need to get this started out right." "So-- you just forget all about the fact that you are all murderers who would kill anyone in their sleep-- especially, one another-- all right?" "All right." "They can be a team tomorrow." "Tonight, I get some sleep." "What?" "This is crazy." "So put down your weapon." "You first." "Murderers guarding murderers-- it was a good idea-- hmm." "All right-- weapons down on the count of three-- one, two, three." "Ah-- another day." "Rise and shine!" "I guess I'm really a morning person." "Can we-- lower the weapons, at least over breakfast?" "I know why I'm here." "I know why they're here." "But what are you here for?" "Emergency food?" "Lay off her, Walsim!" "Yeah-- she's a princess." "Besides" " I can think of one reason to have her around." "So!" "You were talking about breakfast, huh?" "Why do we need these men?" "Just the two of us-- we can do this." "Oh-- and your friend, if you really think we need her." "I need everybody." "Do you know what men are like?" "They can't be trusted at their word." "Xena?" "He's dead." "Poison" " I'll bet." "One of you poisoned him." "You're the one with the cross-bow." "Maybe we should look for an arrow in his back." "Maybe you wanna look for one in your chest." "Monlik-- wakey-wakey." "What?" "!" "Yeah-- we stay up all night;" "he sleeps like a baby." "All right, we got a lot to do, so we're going to split up." "Glaphyra and Darnelle, there's a village not far back." "I want you to get some supplies that we need but" "I want you to buy them." "Now, if I had my choice of partners, here" "You don't." "Monlik and Walsim," "I need you to go ahead to the castle." "Monlik," "I want a complete map of the interior." "Done, but it's gonna take a while to get there." "And what's the great Xena going to be doing?" "Seems like you might wanna come with us." "We need a diversion." "I'm gonna see King Gregor and ask him to mobilize his army." "Agathon has to believe that he's under attack." "All right-- we meet back here before the sun is high." "After you" " Ow!" "I don't think I've ever been a part of a true disaster before." "You are such a cynic." "You know" "I used one just like this to win the finals at Magar" "Huh-Xena was really proud of me back then." "Of course," "I nailed one of the judges with my second throw." "Boys and their toys." "I'll take that as a compliment." "This is essential equipment." "To your ego!" "And a spear, no less!" "Could you be a bit more obvious?" "!" "Actually-- it's a javelin." "Now, do I sense more than just a little anger toward me--'cause I'm a man?" "And why not?" "Men are all the same." "They use you; they betray you;" "and they spit you out!" "They're only as good as what you can get out of them." "Oh-- as opposed to the sweet, ungrateful creatures of the earth that women are." "We protect them; we feed them;" "we clothe them;" "we-- give them a purpose for being." "And this is the gratitude?" "You were born of a woman!" "I was born of a man." "I was delivered by a woman." "How would you like those apples, sweetcheeks-- huh?" "I only meant it as an observation, not as an insult." "And, uh-- as for the apples-- how'd you like one?" "Men are so easy." "Everything you asked for." "Bought-- not stolen." "Sorry we didn't bring back any change." "Gregor has agreed to use his army to help us, but we have to move fast." "Monlik, how does it look inside the castle?" "Bad-- very bad." "Anyone trying to break in will be slaughtered." "This is happy news." "We have to get inside the castle, into the armory, quickly." "Monlik's map will help us with that." "Well, that's something we need to talk about." "You see-- as I was climbing around that castle-- I realized" " I'm the key." "What are you getting at?" "Simple-- the secret to that metal's worth a lot of money." "Now-- the old Xena, she would've been the first to realize that." "The new Xena-- well-- she's more interested in stopping Ares." "Or-- maybe, giving this secret to everybody." "Now, that would level the playing field, wouldn't it?" "The problem is-- there's no profit in it for us-- just the risk of being killed." "Your reward is in your freedom-- and the choices that you can make afterward." "She's wrong!" "Because I have the knowledge she needs." "And without it, everything stops right here-- unless, of course, you wanna try to stop us." "Either way--your plan fails." "Don't make this mistake, Monlik." "I'm giving you your chance." "To do what?" "Become like you?" "Roam the countryside, helping people?" "Dragging around with me some-- half-starved kid pretending she's a friend?" "Well, I don't think so." "Very well." "If that's the way you feel, you can go." "I'll come after you later." "But right now, I want that map." "Ha-ha." "That's gotta be uncomfortable." "Great!" "Now, how're we gonna get in?" "Well, we'll just have to think of something else." "Go pack up our things-- now!" "Xena" "They did nothing." "Did you see that?" "If they had'a joined me or backed up Monlik, that would've been something." "I need to know if they can work together as a team." "All right." "Without Xena, let's talk." "I don't think we have a chance in Tartarus without that map." "Xena thinks there's another way." "Xena also thinks she can go up against Ares." "We're all a little shaky on that one, right?" "Yeah, look-- we all know Xena." "Or at least, we knew her." "We know her strengths, and-- her weaknesses." "What's your point?" "My point is, that she can take us all on individually, but--together-- it wouldn't be that easy." "What if I had a plan?" "Is this a private get-together, or can anyone join in?" "Oh-- nothing private." "Walsim, here, was just telling us, uh-- what he saw in Agathon's castle" "Oh." " defenses and all." "Yeah, we were just-- talking about our chances." "Well, we better get to sleep." "We'll see Agathon's castle soon enough." "Hm-mm." "It's about time you showed up." "What is it about me?" "You always seem to know when I'm around." "I must have a certain-- presence-- around you." "You say 'presence';" "I say 'stench'." "Oh!" "Ow!" "Score one for the Warrior Princess." "You were wrong to give the metal of Hephaestus to Agathon." "I" " I did it-- for the sake of peace." "Peace through slaughter." "Doesn't matter." "Agathon is brash, obnoxious, disrespectful, and smart-- very smart-- much like the young Xena I took under my wing." "That can't be good for you." "I wasn't the easiest warrior you ever dealt with." "No-- no-- you never let me get away with anything." "You had the nerve to question me-- and you never took what I said at face value." "Funny that." "Well, neither does" " Agathon." "He looks for answers beneath the obvious." "Example?" "He knows Gregor's army has no intention of attacking." "Agathon's kept his army in the castle." "Give this up,Xena." "I'm not gonna make any deals this time." "I promised Agathon I would not interfere." "If you attack-- he's gonna kill you." "Make it look good." "Keep going." "There she is!" "Hey, Xena!" "Lookey what I found." "Your chakram sure would come in handy right now." "I guess you've gotta pick your back-up better." "Sorry, Xena.You offered freedom." "Agathon offered cash." "I told you I had a plan." "You should've been more like Darnelle," "Glaphyra." "If you'd come to me and wanted in-- well-- maybe you'd be out here with us." "Ah-- officers in the new army of Ares." "I suppose it's too late to consider my options." "Oh-- way late." "Do not get near the bars, and don't take your eyes off'em--especially Xena." "I thought Darnelle might've been different" "I should've known." "Different-- you mean, from all the other cutthroats thieves, murderers." "No, little girl." "Check the arrangement." "Do you see any men in this cell?" "I'm not a little girl-- and I have met some good men." "I married one." "Yeah?" "And how long was he good?" "I notice he's not with you now!" "Maybe he lost interest." "Or maybe he decided to find another conquest!" "Maybe he was murdered." "By Callisto-- a woman." "I've tried them already." "They're made of that same metal." "She hasn't seen much of the world, has she?" "Gabrielle's been through more than you'd think-- yes, more than you." "And, despite everything, she doesn't carry hatred toward others." "Good people don't." "And the bad people?" "The bad people are us,Glaphyra-- who I was; who you are." "You know,you're so quick to blame everything on men, you have never once-- looked inside yourself for the answers." "It's something that I had to learn." "Gabrielle is a good teacher." "Who knows?" "If-- if I had met her back when I met you, maybe it'd be me who changed." "What was his name?" "Gives you a happy, doesn't it?" "All these toys, and nothing else like them, except this." "Without this puppy," "Xena's just another wannabe Agathon." "We'd like to discuss our agreement." "Especially the cash." "The cash comes later-- after the conquering and general mayhem, you know?" "Meanwhile, chill!" "Pick out some hardware." "Go kill a peasant." "Relax." "We are set for life." "So" " I guess, uh" "I guess that chain must be made of Hephaestus'metal too, or it wouldn't cut through it, right?" "I want you to know, when I kill you, it won't be because you're a man" "Oh-- really?" "Well it should be-- 'cause I am a man-- a red-blooded, two-fisted, 'we-rule-the-world-whether -you-like-it-or-not' man." "Hey!" "Get away from the bar!" "You didn't have to be _that_ convincing!" "Ooh-- which way to the armory?" "OK-- down that hallway, and through double doors." "And the furnace is there-- just like you said-- along with all the weapons we need-- if we can get to 'em." "This is all part of a plan?" "I convinced Darnell to sell us out." "Ah, it wasn't much of a sale, actually." "Xena needed to get in." "What better way than to get captured?" "Look, Darnell, I didn't know" "Ah, no, no, no, no-- you owe me an apology." "You owe me big." "And don't worry about forgetting it-- I won't let you." "Hey!" "That's not how a princess fights!" "Amazon Princess!" "Leave him!" "We don't have time for this." "This is a blast shield." "If it were to plug up the furnace, the whole castle would go up." "Let's do it!" "First-- all the weapons in here." "You're kidding!" "Do it." "That's it!" "What about the warriors?" "!" "With Gregor out on the battlefield," "Agathon's brought all his troups inside the castle." "They go when the castle goes." "Step back!" "Let's get out of here!" "Nooooo!" "Why is it that everyone wants to kill me?" "Your death will take a very long-- painful time, because you didn't just betray me!" "You betrayed him!" "Intervening directly, Ares?" "That's not your style." "I thought Agathon was supposed to be your ultimate warrior!" "You've got it-- and your blood is gonna to prove it!" "Gabrielle, Glaphyra, get out." "I'm not leaving!" "Like she said!" "Besides-- we have to protect our men, don't we?" "!" "How about it, Ares?" "You don't want second best to rule your empire." "If you have to bail him out now, he's just not the right one." "Don't listen to her garbage!" "You know I'm the one!" "I don't have to prove anything!" "Agathon, I gave you my word I wouldn't intervene." "This is between the two of you." "That's just fine with me, War God." "I don't need your help." "Just don't get in the way." "Come on!" "It's gonna blow!" "Come on!" "Darnell!" "Come on." "Let's go." "Stand clear of the door!" "If you wanna go back to the way you were, it's your choice." "Yeah-- but at least we have a choice." "I mean" "I'm not saying I'm gonna follow the straight and narrow, but-- well" " I got some thinking to do." "Yeah, me too." "You look after Xena" " OK?" "I will." "See you later" " Princess." "So!" "I'm heading east." "How about you?" "Seems like as good a direction as any." "I think I can put up with the company for a while." "Don't go falling in love with me, now!" "I'd sooner fall for a toad." "Well, it's a start!" "You started off with four, and you redeemed two." "All things considered, it's not bad odds." "Ain't that somethin'?" "I've got that answer to your question." "Are you who you are, or are you who I made you?" "And?" "You're Gabrielle-- bard," "Amazon Princess-- best friend." "Nobody made you who you are-- it was already there." "The question is, who would I be without you?" "Hmm" " I can answer that." "You'd still be heroic Xena." "You were on that path when we met." "Are you crazy?" "Without you to keep me on the straight and narrow" "You'd have managed." "Hey!" "Just not as well." "Hang on a minute." "Captioned by Grantman Brown"

"Previouslyon"marvel's agentsofS.H.I.E.L.D."..." "Why do you want to rebuild the portal, Jemma?" "Simmons:" "Because I have to get back there." "We're gonna get him back." "Daisy:" "I saw something." "Lash can turn into a person." "I mean, think about it." "He could be anybody." "I know you really want to get back into action, agent morse, but the answer's no." "Understood, sir." "If I don't call off my men," "Dr. Andrew garner is a dead man." "All you have to do is put your weapons down, and I'll let you go." "I'm sorry." "May:" "No!" "¶¶" "man:" "Agent may?" "He's alive." "[ Monitors beeping ]" "Woman:" "Possible pneumo on the right." "Let's get him on the monitor." "He's dry." "I'm starting him on another liter of fluid." "May:" "Andrew..." "What happened?" "I went into the store." "I..." "I had a headache." "I needed something." "One of my students was there." "Was, uh..." "Alexander:" "Hey, professor." "[ Lighter clicking ]" "Where you been?" "...transfer student." "He only started a few weeks ago." "Had two men with him." "You know, my experience is limited, but I'd say they were professionals." "It was hydra." "¶¶ don't know why they'd be after me." "I do." "May, this isn't your fault." "How'd you survive?" "Phil." "¶¶ he had a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent tailing me." "The man saved my life." "¶¶ he gave me time to find cover, and he must've caught Alex off guard because nothing went exactly as planned." "¶¶ the kid had a lighter." "¶¶" "I barely made it to the door." "The blast must've thrown me clear." "The next thing I remember, you were there, picking me up." "[ Sighs ]" "I'm lucky." "Can't see how anyone would've survived that." "Now, I know Alex is trouble, but I'm not sorry he's gone." "Ward would've made him finish the job." "¶¶ what if ward -- he won't." "You're safe now." "We got you." "We'll let the doctor work on you." "You need to get some rest." "Where the hell do you think you're going?" "Uh, I think I'm going to see Andrew." "No." "I just want to make sure he's all right." "You're the reason he's not." "Ward was gonna hurt him no mat" "I made the most logical choice." "Logical?" "You wanted revenge." "Hey, hey, hey!" "Coulson's orders were to end him." "I had one shot." "I took it." "And you missed." "You're off that assignment." "¶¶ good." "Then put me on it." "¶¶ let me go after him." "Are you back?" "Yeah, I'm back." "¶¶" "ward:" "S.H.I.E.L.D. sent a man to assassinate me." "He came into my house and tried to kill me." "'Cause you let him in." "You were sloppy." "I followed your protocol." "He killed a man to get close to you." "He wanted you dead that much." "They all want me dead that much." "¶¶ now we have a dangling thread." "Von strucker." "You shouldn't have sent a boy to do a man's job." "Not really sure you'd have blended in as an undergrad watching garner, kebo." "Has Von strucker called in?" "¶¶ so, he's either captured, killed, or he's running." "And only one of those options works for us." "The kid knows too much." "So go and find him before S.H.I.E.L.D. does." "And if he's still alive..." "Take care of him." "¶¶ hey." "How you holding up?" "I'm pissed." "I got manhandled by lash, and it messed up our chance to see the atcu facility." "But -- good news -- i have a theory." "I like theories." "Lash was tracking us." "He knew where our truck was." "He -- he needed inside info for that." "You think he's got access to atcu information?" "No, I..." "I think he's in the atcu." "We know that he can transform himself into a regular-sized guy and back." "What if he's hiding out as one of them?" "That's a scary thought." "I've got rosalind giving me a tour of her operation today." "Let me see what I find there." "Good." "I'll see what I can get on lash's identity." "And whatever you dig into, try to keep it off rosalind's radar." "I need her to trust me today." "You're not having a hard time working her, are you?" "Not getting too attached?" "[ Scoffs ]" "You do this long enough, you learn to cut yourself off from all that." "Makes it easier to do the job." "Sir?" "¶¶ is may really back for good?" "I'm not sure." "Right now, she's out for blood." "¶¶ may, i heard about Andrew." "How's he -- hey!" "Ohh!" "What the hell?" "!" "Hunter nearly cost Andrew his life, and he was doing it for you." "I-i feel terrible." "You were egging him on, letting him fight your battles for you." "It's your fault!" "If I knew Andrew was in danger, i never " "¶¶ ohh!" "Okay." "You're upset." "[ Both grunting ]" "¶¶" "[ panting ]" "So, you can fight your own battles." "What?" "¶¶ you were testing me?" "Had to make sure you were mission-ready." "¶¶" "coulson still has me off combat duty." "The tests say that my lung isn't healed all the way yet." "My test says otherwise." "Wheels up in 20." "Welcome back, agent morse." "¶¶" "Bob -- may:" "Not your mission, hunter." "Stay away, or I'll make you stay away." "I just want a minute with my ex-wife." "¶¶" "I'm going with you." "Like hell you are." "You put Andrew at risk." "I had ward in my sights." "Damn right I pulled the trigger." "You of all people should get it." "I get it." "You were quick to violence, and an innocent got hurt." "Other people aren't as used to your behavior as I am." "Since when do you care what other people think?" "¶¶ you're really going back in the field?" "After him?" "I'm ready." "You lying?" "No." "[ Scoffs ]" "Do better than I did, yeah?" "You're not gonna say the thing?" "You already know." "¶¶" "Andrew didn't get all the details exactly right." "He said there were four men on the scene, but only three bodies were recovered -- coulson's man, two hydra guys." "The fourth guy was one of Andrew's students." "That's his I.D., but it's an alias." "He's not Alexander braun." "He's Werner Von strucker." "Wait." "Von strucker?" "As in -- hail hydra." "Ward was starting his own little hydra dynasty." "Cute." "We find the strucker kid, he'll lead us back to ward." "You got a how?" "S.H.I.E.L.D.'s been monitoring several hydra bank accounts for a while now." "One just woke up." "[ Computer beeping ]" "Cayman Islands." "Well, strucker needed funds." "Makes sense." "What's the op?" "How's your mandarin?" "[ Speaking mandarin ]" "If we head down there, maybe we'll pick up his trail." "He's on the run from ward, from us..." "Almost makes me feel sorry for the kid." "Werner:" "He's a monster." "Malick:" "You were right to ask me to come." "I didn't know where else to turn." "I figured you and my father must've dealt with guys like ward all the time." "Ward is..." "I didn't finish the mission." "He won't care why." "If you put an untested youth in play without proper training, it's foolish." "Boggles the mind, really." "Your father understood protecting assets was more important than flaunting them." "He never let me in on that stuff." "[ Sighs ]" "You were nicer to me than he was." "Your father was a great man." "Trust me." "[ Chuckles ]" "We would've never put up with such things." "You don't know this guy ward." "He's scary." "[ Chuckles ]" "I'm aware of Grant ward." "He was once an untested youth, too." "Everyone has a history." "So does that mean you'll help me?" "I'll handle everything." "Nice of you to pick me up." "Rosalind:" "Yes." "On the corner..." "Since you won't tell me where your base is." "You know I run a spy organization, right?" "And you know we agreed to share information, right?" "[ Cellphone rings ]" "¶¶ yeah?" "When?" "Do you know who?" "All right, just have them get started." "I'm on my way." "[ Cellphone beeps ]" "Turn around." "We need to head back." "I'm sorry." "It's an emergency i need to handle." "We'll reschedule." "[ Sighs ]" "So, this is the part where you get out of the car." "I don't think so." "Do you not get how this works?" "What I get is that it's time to see this facility." "No more delays." "I'll stay with you." "When the emergency's done, then we can go." "You can't." "Not where I'm going." "Oh." "So we're not sharing information, then?" "'Cause you kind of just made a whole thing about that." "Okay." "Director coulson will be joining us." "Take me home." "¶¶ [ tires screeching ]" "Hunter:" "I just thought you could use some help." "Fitz:" "I've got it." "I promise." "I just need to concentrate." "Really?" "'Cause it looks like your mind's kind of elsewhere." "The portal simulation is just running in the background." "They're not taking any of my time." "Doesn't make it a good idea." "What?" "You don't think I should help Simmons rescue will?" "Do you think you should?" "He's the competition." "If your girlfriend's ex wants to visit from Phoenix, you do not buy him a plane ticket." "That's really specific." "Huh?" "Anyway, this guy kept Simmons alive." "I owe him." "He deserves my help." "Just because he kept Simmons warm for a few months -- with fire -- doesn't mean he's someone you should save." "How much do you even know about him?" "What're you doing?" "In here, I mean." "Why are you here?" "[ Sighs ]" "Coulson put me on the bench." "So I thought I would offer my expertise elsewhere." "Is that what you're going with -- "katelin frayer"?" "Is that how you spell "katelin"?" "K-a-t...?" "I'm not sure that's right, mate." "Yeah, no, th-- there's lots of ways to spell "katelin."" "And can you please just find somewhere else to make yourself useful?" "Copy that." "¶¶" "Dr. garner, good to see you up." "Do you have time for a consult?" "Oh, god, yes, please." "[ Chuckles ]" "Came off more desperate than I intended." "Being laid up is very boring." "What's up?" "It's lash." "Lash?" "The inhuman killer monster." "Oh, right." "I heard you had a run-in with him." "Glad you're okay." "That is what I don't understand." "Why am I okay?" "He kills inhumans." "He killed frye." "Why spare me?" "That's a tough one." "Still trying to put together an inhuman psych profile." "You're all different." "Yeah, but he's..." "Really different." "¶¶ he changed into a guy -- a regular guy." "You saw him?" "Did you get a good look at him?" "No, just a shadow, but still..." "[ Scoffs ]" "I didn't know that was possible." "Me, either, but someone that big and ugly " "I mean, it makes sense." "He's got to get around without being noticed somehow." "Maybe Lincoln can help." "You know where he is?" "No idea." "He's been off the grid since the atcu tried picking him up, but he calls sometimes." "Hey, tremors, you got a sec?" "Yeah." "Um..." "Thank you." "I'll keep you posted." "What's up?" "Been thinking about your atcu theory." "Now, who took off before the convoy left, and who knew the exact route we were going to take?" "Banks." "He's got access to everything that atcu learns about inhumans." "We should tail him." "Already got a Van ready to go, full surveillance package." "Infrared scanners, one-way glass..." "Perfect." "Let me get some things." "Hunter:" "I'll drive." "¶¶" "I mean..." "Please." "¶¶" "Ms. wong would like to access her safe-deposit box." "Here's her account number." "I will need your I.D.S, please." "Of course." "¶¶ [ cellphone beeping ]" "¶¶ [ scanner beeping ]" "Ms. wong likes your tie." "[ Both chuckle ]" "¶¶ [ scanner beeping ]" "¶¶ [ tablet beeps ]" "Follow me." "¶¶ take as much time as you need." "¶¶ [ device whirring ]" "¶¶" "[ explosion ]" "Box 38." "¶¶" "Fitz, we need anything on strucker, anything that will get us to ward." "Yeah, getting it." "Real-estate deeds, passport..." "No cash?" "He must've cleared it all out." "He -- oh, uh..." "Guys, I think you triggered an alarm somewhere." "[ Alarm blaring ]" "[ Sighs ] Great." "How much time do we have?" "Uh..." "Oh." "Looks like zero." "[ Alarm continues ]" "[ Vault door slams ]" "¶¶" "[ chuckles ]" "What is happening in here?" "My boss would like to congratulate you." "What?" "Your security system is top-notch, and your team is incredibly efficient." "Just what we'd hoped for." "[ Chuckles ]" "We've been reading up on you." "Oh, I see where you're going with this." "One second." "We'd like to offer you a job." "A job?" "[ Chuckles ]" "This seems most unorthodox." "We were sent from your former employer, first fiduciary national, and they would like you back." "I know it's been hard, your wife missing Miami." "How long have you been separated?" "You know about that?" "You're only earning 4% more than you were in 2012." "We can do better." "I " " I have been looking to make a change." "¶¶" "[ both grunting ]" "¶¶ sorry." "¶¶" "no one yet." "Banks still not back." "He wasn't back 37 seconds ago, either, but thanks for the regular updates." "This guy is bad news." "Got discharged from the marines." "With cause." "And rosalind hired him anyway." "He was part of an elite anti-alien task force after New York." "[ Scoffs ] Of course he was." "So what's the plan when he gets back?" "Is this a grab-and-torture kind of deal?" "Chokehold might not work if he turns out to be lash." "But we could -- whoa, whoa, whoa." "Slow down, gitmo." "I thought you just wanted to drive." "Just offering helpful suggestions." "Helpful in what way, exactly?" "Um..." "Stopping bad guys?" "How about professionalism?" "Doing your job smart, not getting people killed?" "Hmm." "Wild guess -- this isn't about following banks." "Hunter, come on." "Andrew almost died." "And there we have it." "Look, it's not like I just handed over Andrew and said," ""hey, please kill our friend."" "Right." ""I had no choice."" "I had no choice." "I -- guys, guys." "¶¶ looks like we're following him home." "At a safe distance!" "[ Engine turns over ]" "¶¶ rosalind:" "Rosalind price, atcu." "Yes, ma'am." "Sorry about the circumstances." "We'll do our best to make sure we find whoever broke in here." "Someone broke into your home?" "Any leads?" "Not yet." "Looks like the guy was scared away by your, uh..." "Very impressive security system." "All right if we take a look around?" "Of course." "Not you." "¶¶ this way." "¶¶ nice place, huh?" "Can tell a lot about a woman from her books." "Okay, I didn't actually know that there were this many biographies of Margaret Thatcher." "New furniture." "Brand-new." "Holy..." "Where did you get -- don't touch my things." "Sorry." "Anything missing?" "You weren't listening in when I talked to the cop?" "You're slipping, Phil." "I thought you'd definitely be scoping things out." "¶¶" "he's gonna go back inside when he finishes his call." "What's our next move?" "He goes in his house, we're done for the day." "I don't want to give up on him yet." "I could break into his car, drop a spot cam in his speedometer." "We have to be stealthy." "If he catches you, we're toast." "Coulson is in the belly of the beast." "We can't tip off the atcu that we're on to them." "There must be some way we can keep " "[ Van door slams ]" "What -- oh, no." "¶¶ what's happening?" "¶¶ hey!" "Come on!" "Oh!" "¶¶ so much for stealthy." "¶¶" "here we go." "And this is a good idea how?" "I didn't kill him, i-i just iced him." "And screwed coulson." "He's working rosalind, and you just shot her number two." "When she finds out -- she won't." "That's what the bandana's for." "Lash is an inhuman." "Inhumans have markers in their DNA." "If we test banks' blood for markers, we'll know if he's inhuman or not." "¶¶ that's actually kind of smart." "Thank you." "But I still think you need to talk about your anger issues." "And this isn't the med lab." "We don't have the equipment to draw banks' blood." "Okay." "There you go -- blood." "Okay, there might be a small anger issue." "Just pass me the swab." "[ Scoffs ]" "All I'm saying is that you've been through something extreme." "There will be after-effects." "Sound familiar?" "[ Chuckles ]" "It's eye-opening, being on this side of the counseling." "People treat you with kid gloves." "They mean well, but the more they try to help -- the weaker you feel." "Maybe it's our phds." "¶¶ makes them underestimate just how strong we really are." "[ Cellphone vibrating ] Might just be." "Excuse me." "[ Cellphone beeps ]" "Daisy?" "Jemma, I know you haven't been in the lab and I hate to ask you to do work, but if -- in fact, i can handle it, actually." "Whatever it is." "¶¶ do you have time to run a blood analysis?" "I want to see if banks has inhuman markers." "I have plenty of time." "Send away." "¶¶ thank you, Jemma." "Simmons:" "I'll call when I know." "Okay." "Anything?" "Guy shops at costco." "Anything useful?" "There's not even any selfies." "Banks, you are boring." "Well, apart from the fact that he might be a giant beast who blows holes in people's chests, but..." "[ Cellphone chimes ]" "I-i-i didn't do it." "I-it wasn't me." "I..." "We know." "It's a phone." "¶¶" ""subject en route to endotex."" "No caller I.D." "Something called endotex labs in gaithersburg?" "We could check it out." "What do you think?" "Well, we've got time before Simmons comes back with results." "What about him?" "We could take him with us." "I've been trapped in a moving vehicle with lash before." "Don't love the idea of it happening again." "Yes, if he has the DNA markers, we know where to find him." "Let's go." "¶¶ rosalind:" "Cops finished up." "Had my driver pick up some burgers for us." "Figured you could use some dinner." "Dj's from around the corner?" "So, your computer's still here." "Couple of tvs, too." "Some big-time art pieces, i noticed." "[ Chuckles ] Hardly big-time." "Nice, maybe." "Unusual for thieves to break in and not take anything." "Well, lucky me." "You got a point?" "I don't know." "If you were looking to earn some sympathy from me, soften me up, say, a staged break-in might be one way to do it." "Interesting." "Also interesting, my home had a break-in for the first time ever on the exact day you knew I'd be out." "That's a serious accusation." "You just accused me of staging a break-in, which I did why, exactly?" "Maybe I won't like what I see at the atcu facility, so you're trying to make me like you." "Working me ever since the thunderbird." "Humanizing yourself so I'll take it better." "Wow." "I am quite the mad genius, huh?" "Is all this stuff really yours?" "I got to admit, the bat -- that was a nice touch." "Triple crown winners, autographs from Mickey mantle," "Ted Williams, frank Robinson, Carl yastrzemski?" "Most people just looking at that wouldn't know that it's worth over 7 grand, but I do." "Okay, the bat is not -- and burgers from my favorite place, dj's." "What possible reason would the head of the atcu have for keeping me here with that?" "[ Scoffs ]" "You're right." "No reason at all." "¶¶ you want to go see the facility?" "Fine." "¶¶ let's go see the facility." "¶¶" "Fitz:" "Okay, each of those passports has a different fake identity for Von strucker." "My work is better, just for the record." "We know." "Right." "Well, one I.D. Matches the name on one strucker real estate holding -- a penthouse in Lisbon, Portugal." "So I did a sweep of passengers arriving at the Lisbon airport." "He went through customs several hours ago." "Nice work, Fitz." "Thank you." "You're welcome." "So, we go to a penthouse in Lisbon." "You want to talk about what happened at the bank?" "There's nothing to discuss." "¶¶" "I was treating fighting as a last resort." "Usually, that's good." "Usually." "Sometimes it's 'cause you're gun shy." "Maybe I'm not 100%, but you're the one who dragged me on this mission, in spite of the tests." "Stop hiding behind the tests." "I'm not." "¶¶" "I said i wanted back in the field." "Sure." "After Bahrain, i said I hated my cubicle." "Didn't mean it." "Coulson says, "stay home," and you just agree?" "¶¶ why are you keeping yourself locked up?" "You know, I saw you train at the academy once, scouting you." "I didn't know that." "Strongest recruit i ever saw." "Any test would've said you were 100% then." "But you're better today because now you have experience." "What ward did..." "You think that was just experience?" "That can make you stronger." "Let it." "'Cause next time, talking our way out may not be an option." "¶¶ [ indistinct conversations ]" "Whoa, whoa, whoa." "Careful with that one." "Be a shame to see this whole place blow up before we even move in." "What the hell are you doing here?" "You're supposed to be out looking for Von strucker." "¶¶" "who is this?" "Malick:" "You don't know my name, but I think you've been trying to get my attention." "I've been wondering when I'd hear from you." "You're the one all the others were afraid of -- before me." "Not everyone fears you, Mr. ward." "Well, not everyone should." "Just the ones who won't fall in line." "What can I do for you?" "No, that's not the correct question." "The correct question is what I can offer you." "The answer, in case you're wondering, is redemption." "Oh, no, thanks." "I don't need redeeming." "Oh, i think you do." "You made some mistakes in your gameplay, using Von strucker's son as a pawn when he shouldn't even be on the board yet." "You see, that's just typical of guys in your generation." "You don't even know the game I'm playing." "Von strucker is more than just a pawn." "And now he's a liability." "He knows too much." "Just tell me if I'm wrong." "You burned that asset." "S.H.I.E.L.D. is looking for him, which means so are you." "And I know where you can find him." "And you'll just tell me that?" "Why?" "Sometimes you sacrifice a player to save the game." "You just remember when I come calling that I chose a side." "¶¶ mack:" "This is the place." "Matches the endotex location." "High-voltage, zinc-coated razor wire, Iris recognition?" "Staggered perimeter patrols." "They don't want any visitors." "It's got to be a front, don't you think?" "So what now?" "Now we use the new dwarf Fitz crafted." "He doesn't think it's ready yet, but that's stupid because it's awesome, so..." "I stole it." "¶¶ what?" "I didn't say you were the only one with issues." "All right." "[ Dwarf beeps, whirs ]" "[ Tablet beeping ]" "[ Cellphone rings ]" "[ Cellphone beeps ]" "Simmons, what do you got?" "It's negative." "Banks has no inhuman markers." "He's not inhuman." "So he's not lash." "Really?" "I was so sure." "[ Sighs ]" "Okay." "Thanks." "[ Cellphone beeps ]" "Fitz?" "I'm done helping Daisy." "And since you're done helping Bobbie and may," "I thought maybe now we could take a look at the simulation." "Um..." "Jemma, I've been meaning to say to you -- look, I understand if you don't want to look into this." "I'm stronger than you think." "No, no, no, no, Jemma, i have looked into it." "Actually, I've run dozens of simulations, and I kept on hoping that one of them..." "Would work." "Oh." "I..." "I didn't want to disappoint you." "The monolith was just one option, though." "We're not gonna give up, okay?" "I know this isn't easy for you." "It's an odd situation." "Yeah." "It's one of the oddest, even for us." "Fitz, if you knew will, you'd understand." "I promise -- Jemma, that's the thing." "I am gonna know him." "It's not even a question." "¶¶" "I don't care what the blood work says." "That guy banks is shifty." "You know he once held me prisoner on a train." "Didn't care for that." "Banks was still on his way here." "Endotex is obviously a front for atcu." "No, there's something here." "Maybe the dwarf will find something so today won't have been pointless." "Banks wanted to be here for a delivery of something." "I wonder what it is." "[ Dwarf whirring ]" "But won't they see the dwarf?" "They will not." "That's the 2.0." "[ Dwarf whirring ]" "Fitz should not be keeping that locked up." "What is that?" "I don't... ¶¶" "oh, god." "Is he dead?" "No, they're monitoring him." "He's alive." "But in some kind of what?" "A coma?" "This is atcu." "This is where they're storing inhumans they find." "Animals in cages." "We need a better shot." "¶¶" "oh." "Can we turn it up?" "I can't hear a thing." "It's up." "This is as close as we can get without giving ourselves away." "There's noise in the background." "I know how it looks." "He should be freaking out." "This is the sort of thing that should freak a person out." "Why is he not burning this place to the ground?" "He -- he's telling her what he thinks." "He's horrified, like we are." "It doesn't look like it." "Look, bring back that dwarf." "Make sure we're not discovered." "There's no way we're working with the atcu now." "Tremors... ¶¶" "Daisy, the dwarf -- bring it back." "All right." "[ Dwarf whirring ]" "You're bothered by this." "It's efficient, I'll say that." "What is it?" "Some kind of suspension gel?" "It keeps them in stasis -- alive, healthy, just asleep." "You were right about one thing " "I didn't want to show you." "Not because I think what we're doing here is wrong." "Because I know how it looks." "Looks like a horror movie." "Try to understand, these people were all in trouble after they turned." "Some tried hurting themselves." "Some hurt loved ones." "Yes, they can be dangerous." "I've seen that." "But it doesn't begin to just-- this thing is like an illness." "But we're working on a cure, and we're close -- so close to telling those people, "you're safe." "Your loved ones are safe." "You can go home."" "It's like putting someone in a medically induced coma to make them better." "Imagine doing that for someone who has no other shot." "You lost someone." "I don't know what you're talking about." "I'm such an idiot for not seeing it." "I'm sorry." "Big baseball fan, I'm guessing." "My husband." "[ Sighs ]" "Not to this." "No." "No, it was years ago." "In the field?" "[ Chuckles ] No." "That's the funny part." "I was the spy taking risks." "He was a cardiologist, an honest man, a good husband, and cancer sucks." "I'm sorry." "I would've given anything to do this for him." "Just put him to sleep for a little while until someone found a cure." "I can do that for those people, for their families." "I got to be honest, i didn't expect -- what?" "That I'm human?" "Not all of us are." "Not fully." "I am." "And I think you are, too." "But if you tell anyone i said that," "I'll find your base and blow it up." "I find it hard to keep my humanity in all of this." "Usually, you have to cut yourself off from it." "I'm trying not to." "Before..." "You said that you thought i wanted you to like me." "Yeah." "Sorry." "That was -- but that part might be a little..." "True." "¶¶ maybe." "Good." "[ Groaning ]" "¶¶ ready?" "You again." "Good." "[ Grunts ]" "Aah!" "¶¶ [ both grunting ]" "¶¶ all right." "Here we go." "¶¶ [ grunts ]" "¶¶ [ grunts ]" "¶¶" "[ both grunting ]" "Strucker." "Strucker." "Where do i find ward?" "Ward..." "No..." "Please... ¶¶ [ gasps ]" "¶¶" "I've taken down men three times your size, girl." "¶¶ unh!" "[ Gasps ]" "¶¶ what makes you think you can beat me?" "¶¶ experience." "[ Electricity hums ]" "[ Electricity crackling ]" "[ Groaning ]" "¶¶" "I tried to do what ward wanted." "I tried to kill him." ""Him"?" "Professor garner." "We had him." "¶¶ but I didn't know he'd change into that thing." "¶¶ what really happened, Alex?" "[ Lighter clicking ]" "¶¶" "[ grunting ]" "¶¶" "that's not true." "What is he?" "I don't know." "¶¶ we'llreturnin amoment." "I told you you don't have to worry about me." "Are you all right?" "Staying safe?" "Lincoln:" "Safe as houses." "What?" "It's an expression." "People say that." "[ Scoffs ] Sure." "And someday, you can tell me how you survived the dust bowl and the hoover administration, grandpa." "[ Chuckles ]" "That's an ugly side of you, Daisy." "That's too bad." "You know the deal." "I stop making fun of you when you tell me where you are." "Yeah." "Just..." "Keep your head down, okay?" "I don't want this thing to find you." "Do you have any friends out there, at least?" "Not as many as I used to." "How much longer till the call is traceable?" "15 seconds." "[ Chuckles ]" "¶¶" "I'll reach out soon." "Hope so." "[ Cellphone beeps ]" "Dr. garner, hey." "Was that Lincoln?" "He have anything to help us with lash?" "[ Sighs ] Nope." "Back to square one." "Mm." "Well, don't worry." "You'll figure it out soon." "Hey, did Lincoln tell you where he is?" "I mean, he'd be safer here, under our protection." "I know, but he doesn't believe me." "He won't tell me." "But I'll let you know when he does." "[ Chuckles ] Great." "¶¶"

"Come on, use your jab!" "Box the damn guy, come on!" "Get out of that corner!" "That's it, that's my little brother!" "Come on, busy hands!" "Jab!" "Jab!" "Come on, Uncle Ray." "That's it, little brother." "Come on." "He's getting to you, Ray." "Come on." " That's it, that's it." " Left hook." " Once is not enough." "Come on, again." " Jab, jab." "That's it." "You see what happens when you listen to me?" " Way to go." " Thanks." "Hey, you do not belong up here, all right?" "I'm not gonna tell you again." "Go wash your hands and make yourself invisible." "Pete, she's your daughter." "She wants to help out." "She's a midget with a head full of stupid." "Who's she gonna help, huh?" " Crisco, can I get a hand over here?" " Yeah." "On the way, Mr. K." "Come on!" "Hey, do you know who you are out of all the girls in the world?" "I'm your favorite?" "And what's she gonna do when she grows up?" " Kick butt and break hearts." " That's right." "The world's an oyster and you're a pearl." "Pearls are pretty, and they're tough." "And pretty tough can do anything." "Remember that." "OK, Uncle Ray." "OK." "Hey, Mr. Abel." " Hey, how are you, sir?" " Good to see you." " Good morning, Mr. Abel." " Yeah, beautiful." "Coffee." "Where's my coffee?" "Coffee." "It was not a question the first time I asked for it." "You told me last week, "absolutely, positively no coffee", and I absolutely, positively believed you." "Tear sheets for tomorrow." "The Telegram bled our ad." "It's nothing major, but we should get credit for the next fight." "Memo from finance:" "The budget is officially overdue." "I ran some numbers..." " Did you take care of my bookie?" " I stalled him and your ex-wife." "I also printed out your e-mail, restocked your bar, hosed down Mel Harris." "Numbers:" "Top drawer, left side, all you have to do is sign off on them." "You see, that's why I'm the boss, Kallen." "Because I let you handle things for me." "Nobody gives me credit, but if I were you and worked for me," "I would send myself roses." "Well, roses die and you might be allergic, but thanks for thinking of you." "LaRocca's event briefing, where do you want that?" "In the conference room." "And don't stick the cutout in the corner." "It's my handiwork." "Put it someplace Sammy can see." "All right?" "I hate it." "I hate it a lot." "Are these guys gonna fight or foxtrot?" "They look like Homo sapiens or something." "They are Homo sapiens." "Kallen speaks." "And from a mile away." " Am I contagious or something?" " No, it's not a hygienic thing." "She just gets kind of shy around you." "I'm sorry you're unhappy with the standee, but we only went with the shot because your guys approved it." "If I say the shit's shit, it's shit." "I mean, they told me that you signed off on it, Sammy." "I don't know what the hell happened." "Jackie, what happened?" "I don't care what happened." "You have 48 hours before the fight." "I want the two faggots fixed." "I mean, who the hell does Sam LaRocca think he is?" " A made man, that's who." " No, he is the antichrist." "He is..." "With a bank account." "He is this." "An $80 shoe?" "He is the gum on the bottom of my shoe." "That's what Abel and LaRocca are." "They're the gum, you're the shoe." "How come they walk all over you?" "Get a little older, work a little longer, you won't be so judgmental then." "You think I like working for idiots who take advantage of me?" "That's easy for you to say." "This is not the best job you ever had." "At least here I get to see boxing, in person, for free." "Boxing makes all the other shit bearable." "If I didn't love it as much as I do," "I'd be the first in line to bend over so LaRocca and Abel could kiss my ass." "OK, don't get upset with me just because you know that I know how smart you are." "So now you think smart is all there is to it?" "That your brain can just plot the best course and your life just goes there?" "The world is not an oyster." "It is a smelly tank full of dirty water and sharks." "It is not that easy to swim." "Jackie, you need to get real about where you are, which is stuck." "In the basement." "You can't even see the glass ceiling from here." "Find an elevator, press some buttons." "At least the only way out is up." "Yo, Tyrell, wait up!" "Clean towels, we need more clean towels." "Bad break, Rex." "Bad break?" "I won that fight." "Come on, you saw it." "Everybody saw it." "You would've won if you hadn't run out of gas." "You train serious, you could have a career." "I would've given you a draw." "You deserved a draw." "He looks like shit." "Day-old shit." "If day-old shit shook like an AK-47." "Shut up!" "You can't say dick that wouldn't piss me off more." "It's all good." "Mr. LaRocca, it's adrenaline." "Shakes don't mean nothing." "Ask my last 12 wins." " Hey, Jackie." " Hey, Devon." "I'm only interested in the 13th." "Lose tonight and you'll be waving bye-bye to your career, your fan club and the free hoochie mamas that go with it." "What are you selling?" "Sorry to interrupt, but it's showtime." "Let's get out of here." "Come on, you can do this." "Let's do this." "Get your hands up, you bum!" "He's got no left hand." "What's going on?" "What's the story with Greene?" "Pedro!" "Pedro!" "Pedro!" "Pedro!" "Pedro!" "Get off the ropes!" "OK, OK." "That's it." "That's it." " Forget this guy Greene." " Yeah." "No more, no more." "He's dead." "That's a kaput." "No, he's good." "It's like he didn't bother to show up." "Trust me, he's dead." "And if I know Sammy, he already wrote the obituary." " See you, Gavin." " See you." "Excuse me." "Yeah." "Jacqueline." "I'd offer a seat, but I don't think anyone would get up." " Thirsty?" " Let me buy you a drink." "Bowie, hi." "Can I get a wine cooler and whatever Gavin's drinking whenever he's ready?" "On me." " All right." " Like that dress." " The cleaner's shrunk it." " I'll send a thank-you note." "Did you get that fax on Needles' demos?" "They're good." "Put him on your show." "He's exactly what your advertisers want." " Do we have to do this now?" " Do what, talk?" "We're not talking." "You're negotiating." "Stop it." "Listen, if I was a man trying to close a deal, you wouldn't say that." "Oh, please." "Don't throw sex in my face." " Unless you mean it." " You see how you are?" "I can't have a regular conversation with you." "You're afraid to have a regular conversation with me." "Oh, right." "You're Mr. Irresistible." "I wish." "Kallen!" "Come here." "Come here!" "I gotta go." "There it is." "For the pride of Puerto Rico." "Promise me you'll wear this for the championship bout." "Promise me you'll wear this for the championship bout." " Here we go." " Oh, yeah!" "Kallen." "Good." "J. Lo's coming to the Coliseum next month." "I want me and Pedro front and center." " Front and center?" "Consider it done." " Done and done." " Hey, shouldn't you have that on ice?" " What are you, a doctor?" "No, the doctors are busy stitching up Greene." "Unprofessional pussy didn't even bother to give the fans a decent fight, nothing." "Screw him." "He's a Polaroid." "He's out of the picture." "Pedro, I'm a man who hates defeat, but I'm not too proud to be candid." "You won because you worked and Greene didn't." "He's a lazy-ass fighter, and lazy-ass always loses." "That's a fact." "Right, half-pint?" "Well, I'm..." "I'm not sure why Devon lost." "Maybe he just felt insecure about his corner." "You know, boxing is a team sport." "If a boxer doesn't feel support in his corner, sometimes it comes out in the ring." "Listen to the Barbie doll with the glass balls." "What do you know about support?" "What do you know about boxing?" "Executive assistant." "You wipe Irv Abel's ass for a living." "I cover Irv Abel's ass for a living." "And I know as much about boxing as either of you." "What's that mean?" " Nothing." "Forget it." " Forget it?" "You talk like you think you can do what I do." "What's the point in thinking that?" "I don't have a boxer." "Do you think you can do what I do?" " Possibly, if given a chance." " A chance?" "That's all you need?" " Yeah, probably." " Greene's contract." "It's yours." " Sure it is." " Hey!" "You don't want it?" " I can't afford it." " You can't afford it." "I'll make it easy." " It's yours for a dollar." " I don't have a dollar." "I'll lend you a dollar." "I tell you what, half-pint." "I'm gonna forget what you said since you don't know what you're talking about." "Because if you did, you'd know it don't pay to shoot your mouth off at me." "I just bought a boxer for a buck." "I think it pays pretty well, Sam." "I'm not keeping him." "I'm not keeping Greene." "It was a thing that became a thing." "LaRocca insulted me." "So what?" "Sammy insults everybody." "You're gonna call him, make up, kiss his ass if you have to." "If anybody asks about Greene, it was a joke, a little parlor trick that you and Sammy played." "You lost your temper, you said a few ridiculous things." "You set it right." "It'll blow over." "Sammy won't think you're trying to grow a brain on me." "It wasn't ridiculous, what I said." "And you shouldn't be drinking that coffee." "Welcome back to the live weekend edition of the Reese Report." "Fight fan or feminist, you're going to love this story." "After watching Devon Greene crawl off the canvas, fight promoter Sam LaRocca managed to lose his boxer and his ego in a round of verbal sparring with Coliseum employee Jackie Kallen." "LaRocca thought he had Kallen in the corner, but she outmaneuvered him and wound up walking away with Greene's contract." "The price tag?" "A dollar." "That's platinum stuff." "You couldn't write a check big enough for the look on LaRocca's face." "It was priceless, and I enjoyed it for free." "Renee, it's me." "Quick." "Turn on Channel 28." "I'm on TV!" "Hey, Sam, do you know what a coup d'etat is?" "Look it up." "I'm Gavin Reese for the Reese Report." "See you next week." "Girl, what the hell happened to all his money?" "I didn't have a chance to ask." "His phone's disconnected, so I had to come." "I got here, I was fine, and then I wasn't fine." "So you called me for blackup." "Like I need Gangster Incorporated in my life." "Like LaRocca is gonna let you waltz off with his boxer." "Like any of this makes any sense." "Last night, after I vomited and ruled out suicide, I realized" "I'm more scared not to do this than to do it." "Devon is a ranked boxer." "God practically dropped him in my lap." "How can I walk away?" "I might as well spit in the face of destiny." "Now he's your destiny?" "Devon, are you in there?" "It's Jackie Kallen." "We tried." "We failed." "Let's go." "Wait, wait, I hear something." "He's unlocking the door." "He's home." "Devon, did you know your phone's not work...?" "You know Stormy." "This ain't no double date." "Get the shit." "We don't have any shit." " Then why'd you page me?" " We didn't." " Why?" " Devon, it's me." "It's Jackie from the arena." "We just..." "Anyway, we came by to say hey." "And you're busy, so we'll come back." "You bitches ain't going nowhere till we get our rock!" "Give my man your bag!" "There's just enough tokens in there for my laundry." " That's all I have with me..." " A dollar bill, maybe." "What am I, a punk?" "A chump?" "You can just smoke T.J.'s shit like it's a gift?" "Man, come here!" "Man, you done messed up my high." "Come on, Jackie, let's go!" "Let's go!" "Let's go!" "Let's go!" " I'm sorry." " I don't forgive you." ""Where's my rock, bitches?"" "What about that guy, the way he waxed the floor with both their asses?" " That was off the hook!" " Honey, no." "He was a thug who out-thugged another thug." "A thug-and-a-half if you count your boy Devon, who is pathetic, Jackie!" "His contract only cost a dollar." "You still overpaid!" " Call me later." " I'm sorry." "You better be." "I'm going to see my cousin Malik." "I don't know why you mess with me, all these criminals out here, man." "Oh, hey, Luther Shaw." "Jackie Kallen." "I bailed you out." " I know you?" " No, no." "Not exactly." "Listen." "Do you have a minute for a cup of coffee, a beer?" " How about a milk shake?" " A milk shake?" "Yeah." "Yeah, whatever you drink." "Listen, I know this is unusual." "Believe me, I don't make a habit of bailing strangers out of jail." "That would make me a nut, a broke nut." "And I'm not." "I'm not nutty." "I'm just a person taking a chance." "You might be interested in who I am and what I have to say." "If you're not, I totally understand." "You don't owe me a thing." "Lf, on the other hand, you are, my car's parked around the corner." "I'm harmless." "Really." "Really, the worst I could give you is a ride." "It was brutal, you know, it was beautiful the way you fought." "Yeah." "I can tell you fought before." "You boxed." "You had some training, you won some amateur bouts." " You were good..." " Do you always talk like this?" " Like what?" " Too much?" " Actually, people have said..." " That's a yes." "Know what, pull over right here." " Right here." "Pull over right here." " OK, Luther." "This shit you're talking is crazy." "I think you're crazy." "You gotta be." "Hanging with crackhead Devon." "I wasn't hanging with him." "I came to see..." "Look, I didn't know he was doing crack, OK?" "It's sad." "Another black man bites the dust." "Thanks for the bail, bitch." " Jackie!" " What's up?" "My name is Jackie!" "Crazy broad." "What's happening?" "Now, Luth, we ain't saying that you ain't bad." "We know that, but don't be selling us some bullshit, because you know you ain't mopped the floor with no Devon Greene." "I'm telling you, man, I gave that fool an old-fashioned, project ass-whupping." "I'm telling you, his partner tried to get brave and sneak me." "I had to dust his ass off too." " You still here?" " Yeah." " Go home." " I can't." "You didn't let me finish." " Following him and shit." " What's up with that?" "A little uptown piece." "I know." "It must seem a little out there." "All right, way out there." "But that is where all the good stuff is, Luther." "Like talent, and you you're talented." "So this chance you call yourself taking, why you taking it on me?" "Because I've been around boxing my whole life." "I know it like the back of my hand." "I know potential, and I see it in you." "I do, Luther." " I got potential?" " Yeah." " Watch out, world." " Don't laugh at me." "All right?" "I'm serious." "If you took me serious, we could be driving Jags and sporting Versace." "You're a woman." "And you're white." " Say it like I'm a disease." " In the fight game, you are." " Say it like I'm a disease." " In the fight game, you are." "I'm not saying it would be easy." "All right?" "But I'm used to hard." "I am." "OK?" "How do you want to do this?" "Do you want to work together?" "You want to make a deal?" " Make a deal?" " Yeah." "You never managed nobody in your whole life." "How you gonna front me, you can't front yourself?" "You're nine-to-fiving it." "You're driving a damn Honda." "I have some savings, I'll do a budget." "I'm good with budgets." "And I'm really good with people." "I can read them." "And I can read you, Luther, and I know you want to do this." "Maybe I'm interested." "Maybe I'll call you." "Maybe I won't." "You're the one that's gonna have to wait and see." "When you pay your tickets, you can register your vehicle." "Basically, it's what you call an "all there is to it" situation." "Mister, when you pay your tickets, you can register..." " Hey, Felix." " Next!" "Jackie Kallen." "We spoke on the phone." "I remembered you, you didn't remember me." "Remember?" "Hey, Cynthia, I'm breaking." "So you say this boy is good, huh?" "Well, good is a dime a dozen." "Oh, no, he's better than good." "He's the bomb." "And you're the best." "You've turned more chumps into champs than Eddie Futch." "I got out of the game for a reason, you know." "Yeah, I know you had a stroke in '96." "I was sorry to hear about that." "The stroke didn't do nothing but clear my head." "Look, I ain't got time to waste training no cash registers in it for the money." "That's a wonderful sentiment, and I totally agree." "Although ultimately, boxing is a business." "It's a sport first." "You know, learn your craft, pay your dues." "Money will come, and it will go." "That's why they call it "cash flow"." "Felix, this kid reminds me of Marvin Hagler." "It's just nonstop punches." "He is the real deal." "I wouldn't have troubled you otherwise." "Ray-Ray Kallen's niece." "All right." "I'll take a meet." "Felix." "Luther may just..." "He may be just a... tiny bit raw." "Well, raw's workable." "Rotten isn't." "Look, Felix, I don't know what to tell you." " Hey, Felix, it's traffic, it's rush hour." " Yes." "This time every day." "Hey, Luther!" "There he is." "Felix Reynolds." "This tired-ass old man is gonna be my trainer." "Lady, I thought you said you had a plan." "Let me see your stance." "He ain't worth it." " Oh, well." "Next." " Next?" "Hey, do you see a line anywhere?" "You stop being a brat and apologize." "A brat?" "What's that supposed to mean?" "Whatever it takes to get him back." "He is it." "Hey, Felix!" "Now, Luther has something to say to you." " Luther." " Hey." "Look, old man, hold up." "No disrespect intended, but what have you done?" "Who have you trained?" "Let's hear some actual ring experience." "You first." "Was I right or what?" "Yeah, he packs a helluva punch like you said." "Combinations need tightening." "They're all over." "But he's strong, got a great feint, and he's a southpaw like Hagler." "He could make some noise in the middleweight division." "All right." "Time, boys." "Well, if he can learn to be a switch hitter, fight from the right-hand stance as well as the left," " he could surprise some people." " Left, right, whatever." " It was all right?" " It was better than all right." "But you gotta get in shape, you gotta get in boxing shape, right?" "Yeah, your body's strong." "Your mind gonna need a whole lot of discipline." "Ain't nothing wrong with my mind." "The ring." "Get it at 5:00." "Oh, no, I don't get off of work till 6." "In the morning." "Is it cheaper?" "No." "It's available." "Five o'clock in the morning?" "Man, you can forget that." "You gotta leave some room for sleep." "Haven't you slept enough, son?" "In three years, I pay you 2..." "Luther?" "Listen." "Three years, 250 a week, then I recoup that amount from your winnings." "After that, after we start making a profit, you take the lion's share, I get 33 and a third." "What you think, Felix?" "You heard what the lawyer said." "She's assuming all the risks." "She's making an investment in you." "Well, she ain't got to worry." "You bring it all on." "I'm gonna squash whatever you send my way." "Lady, that's the best I can do." "A grand for all that gold?" "Are you nuts?" "It's worth three times more than that." "Worth ain't the way it works." "What about fair?" "Does fair work?" "No?" "OK." "OK, what about this?" "You give me 1,250, I throw that in for free. 1,250." "Please don't screw me beyond that point." "I have kids." "How are you doing?" "How the hell you been?" "How you been?" "Hey, Luth, look here." "This here is Kevin Keyes, the best cutman in the business." " Good to meet you." " How you doing?" "This is Cedric Mouketendi, your sparring partner." " Mouke what?" " Mouketendi." "It's Ugandan." "Call me Rick." "It's easier." "I'm gonna take you out, Africa." "Monkey's ass always talks shit." "Off the ropes!" "Off the ropes!" "Come on, spin out of there, now!" "Time!" "Time." "Time." "Now you see what the hell I'm telling you about your jab?" "Stop street fighting." "When he misses, counterpunch him." " His rhythm's great." " It ain't his rhythm I'm worried about." "In a minute, when I say again." "I put him in with a bigger man so he'd learn how to move." " Hey!" "Hey!" "Hey!" " Luther!" " Luther!" " Hey!" "Come on!" "Come on, now." "Come on." "Boy, you wanna fight like a damn hoodlum?" "I'll toss your black ass back out on the street!" "You think I'm playing with you?" "I ain't playing with you, boy!" "Hey, Luther, look at me." "Look, look." "You can't win if you fight dirty, do you understand that?" " You all right, son?" " Yeah, I'm all right." " He's here to help you." " Sorry, it won't happen again." "Will it?" " Won't happen again." " Say it like we can hear it!" "It won't happen again!" "Hey." "Hey." "I don't want any threatening or yelling." "That is not helping him." "Yeah, well, I'm trying to teach the boy how not to use his fists." "What do you suggest?" "Handcuffs?" "Whatever happened to this dude?" "Your uncle Ray-Ray." "He died about a year after that was taken." "Hey, I'll start a scrapbook for you as soon as we get our first fight." "So did your dad start you in boxing?" "No." "Counselor, juvenile hall." "In your lap." "And your dad?" "May he rest in peace." "And your mom?" "Who the hell knows, man?" "Do you have any brothers and sisters?" "I got a brother named Michael in Philly." "He's a year older." "Stupid-ass Social Services." "They separated us, so we grew up apart." "I see him when I see him." "It's no big deal." "I thought we were gonna be straight." "I'm being straight with you." "Who were you beating up today in the gym?" "It wasn't Mouketendi." " I lost my temper." " You found your temper." "What you lost is the rest of you." "Look, I go off sometimes, all right?" "It's just how I am." "It's not a problem." "Yeah?" "The problem you don't have already got in your way, and you haven't thrown a punch in a pro fight." "I mean, don't you wanna win, Luther?" "I do." "I wanna win." "You know, you got all these expectations." "What are you gonna do if this don't work out?" "Lt'll work out, Luther." "You just have to let yourself trust me." "I am not the enemy." "Whoa, whoa, whoa." "Hold up, old man, I ain't into no S M stuff." "Who do you think you is?" "Marvelous Marvin Hagler, Sugar Ray Robinson?" "You another young wannabe fighter, come a dime a dozen, trying to look pretty." "Start with the basics." "I'll tie down your right arm so you can learn to throw a left." "You gotta learn to be balanced on both sides." "Fight somebody that know how to handle a southpaw, better be ready to show him something different." "Now snap out that jab." "Let me see it." "5:00's the best I can do." "I need your locker dues." " OK, coach." " Come get it." "You know there's a powder for that." "Six-thirty is open." "I want a 6:30." "Yeah, and I want a blowjob every hour on the hour." "Is that why you're acting like such a dick?" "All right, dig it in, that's right, dig it in." "Now jab him out." "Jab him." "To the body, to the body, to the body." "Combination." "All right, push him off, push him off, push off." "Jump right back on him." "Now, Kallen and this amateur monkey she scraped off the street, Shaw, you said they were nothing." " That ain't what I hear." " It was, Sam." "He's been training with Reynolds." "He's been kicking the shit out of some guys in the gym." "That bitch does not find a fight in this town, or nowhere near it." "Ever." "Make it understood." "Anybody puts Kallen's boy on a card puts his own ass out of business." "Shaw." "Luther Shaw." "S-H-A-W." "Just because you never heard of him, he can't be phenomenal?" "No, you can't call me back." "No, it's his manager." "Yeah, I'm a woman." "No." "I haven't thought about strapping one on, mister." "Have you?" "Well, I think you have a really nice voice too." "I do." "But I can't cash those compliments at a bank." "I don't need a date." "What I really need is a fight for my boxer." "Jackie Kallen for Crisco Cohen." "No, he does know who I am." "Did you hear me?" "I've known him since we were kids." "How many times do I have to say this?" "Are you listening?" "Now put your hands together and give a warm Buffalo welcome" " All right, baby." " To our trio of precious gems," "Ruby, Emerald and Sapphire." "All that plastic." "It's a wonder she doesn't melt in that spotlight." "Crisco, it's me, Jackie Kallen." "What the hell are you doing here?" "I got a boxer." "You drove 200 miles to tell me that?" "You couldn't pick up the phone?" "I did." "Four times." "Hey, I'm a businessman." "Yours ain't the only number I gotta call." "How's Judy?" "I have never cheated on her." "I just come to these joints for relaxation." "I remember that, Crisco." "How do you think I found you?" " It took me a while, but I found you." " Yeah, well..." "Great." "What are you...?" " Well..." " You got a boxer?" "Good luck." "100 men ahead of you manage for a living." " I never even heard of your guy." " Luther Shaw." "Put him on an undercard." "See what he can do." "Hey." "We'll never get a fight in the Midwest as long as Sam LaRocca lives and breathes." "Too bad." "I can't believe you have the nerve to shirk me off." "My father taught you everything you'll ever know." "Pete Kallen is the only reason you are where you are today." "Pete would spin in his grave if he could see what you're doing." "Look, stick to what you know." "You're a secretary, for chrissake." "And you're a married man addicted to strip joints and God knows what else." "I am sure I could find out." " What, are you threatening me now?" " No." "I'm thanking you in advance because I know that you're gonna help me the same way my dad helped you." "Yeah, UUF." "UUF?" "What the hell is that?" " Ulterior Uterine Fibrosis." " Oh, UUF." " It's a venereal disease." " No." "It's a female disease." "There's nothing venereal about it." "It's still difficult to discuss." "Yeah, privates are tough to talk about." "Most women would've made something up." "I'll probably only need a few days sick leave because the procedure I'm having, it's really just minor surgery." "That's good." "Where is the operation?" "I'll probably just have it in my doctor's office downtown." "Well, that's a little out of the way, isn't it?" "Unless you mean downtown Buffalo." "How long am I in this business?" "Long enough." "Nothing goes behind my back." "What did you think?" "It wouldn't get back to me?" "Well, how can I think?" "I don't have a brain." "You also don't have a job now unless you stop with this silly extracurricular bullshit." "Now, you will stop, or I'll fire your ass." "And you'll lose your pension, your benefits, everything I let you work for." "Trust me, Kallen, you don't want this kind of kaput." "I'd rather have that kind of kaput than your kind of stupid." "And remember, use your jab." " Nervous?" " Why I gotta be nervous?" "That's good." "You're nervous." "Use the energy, Luther." "This guy's all that stands in your way of the next guy." "You knock him down." "Knock him out." "Oh, gotta get our picture." "OK, fighters only." "And get the three of us in and make this great." "OK, just this once." "Jab." "Jab him." "Jab." "Stay on him." "Don't let him tie you up." " Get rough with him." " Let him go." "Let him go." "All right, stick that jab out there." "Hands up, hands up." " You threw a punk shot!" " Got him!" "One, two, three, four, five, six." "It's over!" "Yeah!" "That was beautiful." "That was beautiful." "Nice work on the jab." "Did you see that right hook, Felix?" "Did you see that?" "That was great." "Yeah, he did all right." "Hold on, hold on." "One second." "Listen." "Whoever it is, nobody act surprised that we won." "OK?" " Come on in." " Hey." "Hey." "Oh, hey, guys, this is Crisco Cohen." "Oh, hey, my girl's homeboy." "The one that put us on the card." "Oh, hey, my girl's homeboy." "The one that put us on the card." " Jackie said you weren't coming." " Jackie says things." "I'm a promoter." "Promoters show up." "We don't read punches in the paper." " Nice fight." "Congratulations." " Thanks." " How you doing?" "Felix Reynolds." " Sorry, Felix." "I didn't know you were back." " Very nice job tonight." " Thank you." "KO." "Just like I said." "Better than good." "Listen, Luther, we got to talk your next fight now." " Great." " Here it is." "Hey, wait a minute." "What are you doing?" "You talk to me." "He boxes." "I book." "Yeah." "We need local exposure." "You need an A-plus story." "I'm handing you one, exclusively." "It's not algebra, Gavin." "Jackie, you against LaRocca makes a great, quaint anecdote." "Don't make a mission out of it." "So, what, you're trying so hard not to say is that it's a man's world?" "I don't have to say it." "You know it." "You have a love for the sport..." "But I should worship from afar." "God forbid I use anything from the neck up." "He has to win a few more fights." "He has to climb up the card before I hot-dog him." " One more fight." " What's your rush?" "Well, I got fired." "Or maybe I quit." "As if you didn't know." "The point is, I can't wait for you to decide if Luther is newsworthy." "He is." "Luther Shaw weighs in at 159 pounds on the dot." "Here you go." "They get on the scale thirsty." "They get off even thirstier." " He's heavier since Buffalo." " Yeah, he's stronger." "Your guy looks pretty good too." "Thank you so much." "Don't drink that." "Don't even smell it." "I'm serious." "I'll get you another one." "Hey there, Mathias." "Hi." "Listen, I saw your last fight, and wow." "That was one beautiful left hook." "Oh." "Oh, oh, sorry." "Oh, thanks." "I just wanted to say may the best man win." "No hard feelings, no matter what happens." "No." "Stay back." "He don't like it down there." "He don't like it down there." "Nice jab." "Good jab." "Luther, go back to the body." "Jump on him, that's right." "Get up on him." "Hit him hard." "Beautiful jab." "Break clean." "Come on." "You OK, Mathias?" " He don't wanna fight no more?" " Turn around and box." "Can you continue, Mathias?" "Do you want to box?" " All right." " It's over." "Way to go to the body, huh?" "That felt good." " That's the way to work downtown." " What happened?" " Easy, take it easy, easy." " Get them off." "Get them off!" "Oh, kid." "Thanks." "OK, well, that's my job to see shit coming." "Break it up." "Neutral corner." "Four or five more miles." "Come on, grab my hand." "If you grab my hand, I'm going to bring you up the hill." "Come on, keep turning." "Get on the inside and turn." "Get back." "One..." " Sounds like things are going great." " Oh, better than great." "Terrific." "It's over." "No." "No?" "Why?" "All right, no elevator, but the rooms are huge." "Electric's included." "The fireplace burns real wood." "Open this thing on the top before you light a fire." "It's called a flue." "Don't ask me why." "What do you think?" "Tell you, the place is tight." "I think I like it." "You know, I hope I can afford it." "It's all about balancing your checkbook." "Did you fill out those bank applications I gave you?" "Oh, I don't know." "I don't even remember what I did with those." "This is the lease agreement for you to look over." "It's the usual, first and last." "And I got you an extension on your tax returns, but get it in next week." "Envelopes, stamps, stationery, all in here." "So how come you don't have any kids?" "It just never came up, the opportunity." "It could still, later." "I guess." "I think that you would be dope as a mom." "Oh, thanks." "Luther, I think you're going to want to get renter's insurance." "Yeah." "Yeah, sure." "Listen, Jackie..." "Man, this is embarrassing to admit, but, you know, guys like me..." "I don't know nothing about tax forms and lease agreements, insurance or whatever." "Hell, man, I never even voted." "In my former line of business, I dealt with cash." "It's either cash on the barrel, or I'm gonna hit you with the barrel." "You know, balancing a checkbook..." "Forget about it." "Luther, you don't need to be ashamed or embarrassed about anything, OK?" "All kinds of people don't know all kinds of shit." "I can really help you with this stuff." "We could fill those forms out togeth..." "What was that for?" "For everything." "We're the new kids on the block, we expect to be picked on, but we don't run from anybody." "I can't say the same for some people." "By "some people", do you mean the newly crowned" "Middleweight World Champion Pedro Hernandez?" "Hernandez claims he's hungry for a worthy opponent." "Everybody knows Luther's that guy." "I mean, what, to him, Luther's the invisible man?" "Oh, but I guess it's hard to see someone when you're running away from him, especially if you're running scared." "Now, Pedro Hernandez won the middleweight crown in devastating fashion against a great ex-champ." "Luther, with only 14 fights, do you think you can beat him?" "I can, I could, and I most definitely would." "I'd probably knock him out if he didn't faint first, Pedro." "Well, there's only one way to see how this cliffhanger will end." "Stay tuned to Channel 28." "Don't miss what you can see here with me." "Exclusively." "You're our local guy." "As for Pedro Hernandez, if you're watching," "You think I can't smell bullshit when I see it?" "Kallen's baiting us." "I don't care." "I don't care what you think, because it ain't your rep." "That bitch has people believing I'm a bitch..." "And you're whining like one, and it's starting to annoy me." "I'm not sitting on my hands no more." "Listen, I'm fighting Shaw." "You set it up." "Pedro." "Pedro, come here." "Every piece of garbage I float to the top gets in his head he can tell me what to do." "That's a mistake." "You fight who I say, when I say." "Now go away before I get upset." "Hey, Jackie." "What's up?" "Brunch." "Oh, I didn't know you had a..." "Renee." "There's just enough for two." " It's OK, I already ate." " Well, here's an idea." "You take this." "You're not hungry now, save it for later." " You sure?" " Yeah." "I gotta go home anyways." "I've got a lot of stuff to do." "What?" "Let's go." "Let's go, let's go, let's go." " Good evening, sir." " How are you doing tonight?" " Thank you very much." " Thank you." "Luther, listen." "All right, now, this is our shot." "Stay calm." "Act natural and let me handle it." "Look, Jackie, look, I'm down with you, OK?" "But I only get one day off." "Shit, I could've been kicking it." "Kicking it with who, Renee?" "Now, look, Luther, Renee is my friend." "I love her." "But she has school to finish." "You have everything ahead of you." "The last thing either of you want is to get in each other's way." "If I want what's best for her and she wants what's best for me, how can we get in each other's way?" "You look great in that suit." "You know what I'm saying, half-pint?" "Let bygones go by." "Life's too damn short." "Right, Lou?" "Name's Luther." "We want a shot at Pedro, Sam." "I know that." "Look, why don't you close your mouth, drink a drink and relax." "I gotta tell you, I like the way Luther here listens." "A win in Tampa could put him on the undercard the next time Pedro fights." "After that, down the line, maybe a shot at the title." "Of course, that would mean you would start to do some very serious pro-Pedro press." "Like what an honor it is for you to be fighting him, shit like that." "And the expiration date on shit like that is fight night." " Of course." " Sure." "Sounds like we got a deal." "So if you'll excuse me, I gotta go, but I'll be back." "I'd watch half-pint if I was you." "Believe me, man, I already know how she walks." "Well, she'll walk all over you." "Why do you think it's her name on everybody's lips?" "Her name, not yours." "Oh, that don't bother me, man." "Keep up the good work." "She'll be famous." "You'll be..." "Fine." "You understand that?" "I'll be just fine." "It's the tenth round, understand?" "Don't leave it to the judges." "Go ahead, baby." "Henry Armstrong his ass." "All right?" "Henry Armstrong." "Nonstop punches." "OK, guys." "It's the last round." "Touch them up." "Break." "Stand back." "All right." "Let go." "Break." "Step back." "Tear him up, Luther, tear him up." "All right, guys, let go." "Step back." "Come on, step back." "All right, box." " Stay at him, Luther, stay at him." " Let go, step back, now, come on." "All right." "Yes!" "Four, five, six." " Abe Jacobs, Boxing Monthly." " Hi, Abe." "You said this fight was important." "Now that you've won, can you say what that means to your career?" " Hey, there's nowhere to go but up." " Actually, that was for Jackie." "We've wanted a fight in our own back yard, and with this win, we can." "You're one of the few women having any success in this, what's it take?" " Hard work and thick skin." " A great boxer don't hurt either." "USA Today." "Jackie, any truth to the rumor you're posing for Playboy?" " I don't know." "You think I should?" " Oh, yes, absolutely, absolutely." "Marsha Gary, Detroit Times." "This is for you, Luther." "You've had a real meteoric rise, but we all know that sometimes meteors crash and burn." " Any chance of that happening?" " Are you kidding?" "No way." " Hey, look, it happens to everybody." " Eventually." "I'm teaching Luther the dictionary." "We haven't gotten to the E's yet." "All right, show-and-tell's over." "Come on." " Can we have one more?" " What are you gonna do after Miami?" " Are you calling me stupid?" " What?" "Tell them you're teaching me the alphabet." "Come on, Luther, it was a joke." "That's why they laughed." "All right, ready?" "Picture, press, professional." "So you didn't return my phone call about Luther." " How come?" " I've been busy." "There cannot be another crisis next week." "My schedule is already full." "Don't give me the talk-show answer, Jackie." "It's not a talk-show answer, Renee." "I haven't had time to breathe since Tampa." "Tampa." "Yeah, I heard about Tampa." "We won." "What else did you hear?" " You don't know?" " No." "The press conference." "Maybe you don't realize how you came off." "I came off fine." "It's fine to act like Luther's schoolteacher?" "To humiliate him in front of everybody?" "Press conferences are so out-of-body." "You say what you say." " Is Luther still bitching about that?" " No, I'm bitching about it." "Oh, so you speak for him now?" " Please, you hardly know him." " I know him well enough." "Biblically." "Don't confuse that with intimately, Renee." "It's an entirely different testament." "Thank you." "You enjoy your lunch, Jackie." "Here you go, girls." "Thanks for coming by." " Hi, what's your name?" " Janey." " Hi, Janey." "What's your sport?" " Track and field." " Will you sign my sneakers?" " Sure." "All right, now, listen up, Janey." "Here's some advice from Jackie Kallen." "Run with the big dogs." "Don't just sit on the porch and bark." "OK?" " Oh, and don't forget your free socks." " Thank you." "Here he is." "Paul, come with us and make sure you have plenty of film." "Here's my gym." "There's Luther." "He's something." "It's 2:00." "Aren't you supposed to be sparring?" "Friday's Africa's day off." "Oh, that's right." " My bad, Africa..." " Wrong!" "Africa's gone!" "I've had a new man for almost a week." "Megan Moore." "Self magazine." "I'm writing a cover story on Jackie." "This is Paul, staff photographer." "Hey, hey, hey." "What's the matter?" "I don't know where you've been." "You're my manager." "The most important fight of my career's coming." "You're off doing a goddamn talk show." "When's the last time you were in here?" "I've been doing publicity." "Publicity for me is exposure for you." " It's part of..." " Foot Locker?" "Handing out socks ain't got shit to do with me!" "OK, OK, I won't do it." "I don't want nosy reporters in the gym while I work out." "All right, I'll send them away." "Look, Luther, I just want what's best for you." "I'm kind of nervous about this fight." "Sands ain't nothing to play with." "I need you to pay better attention to me." "Hey, after this, I am absolutely all yours until after the fight." "OK?" "It's a deal." "I promise, Luther." "OK?" "Kallen's Gym." "Yeah, hold on." "Hey, Jackie." "Doug-somebody from HBO." " Hello?" " You know who I am?" "Doug Doherty." "Of course I know who you are." "Who forgets the unforgettable?" "Listen, HBO wants pre and post with Shaw and Sands." "Doable?" "Well, there's a reason it's not in the contract." "We promised our first dance in Cleveland to a native son." "Native?" "As in local?" " You're kidding me." " Luther knows this reporter." " He's comfortable with him." " Jackie, come on." "This is HBO, the major-domo of boxing, we're talking about." "Not some over-the-air, commercial network." "Look, Doug, we agreed to a post." "That's the best I can do." "This local guy has been too terrific to me." "Can he guarantee a double-digit rating?" "Make you queen for a day?" "Longer if Luther wins?" "I'm holding the keys to the kingdom, Jackie." "All you gotta do is reach out and grab them." "If you're man enough." " Are you man enough, Jackie?" " That's highly sexist." " And wouldn't you like to know?" " I certainly would." "You know what you need?" "It just came to me." "A personal profile." "We get some great tape on fight night." "Mix it up, post and pre." "Think about it, Jackie." "You on HBO mano a mano with me." "It's a cliche, but I'm living proof dreams do come true." "This is the best day, the best time and really exciting." "Just one step away from champion of the world." "Yeah." " What about a whoop?" " A whoop?" "You know, real exciting, then whoop, like a cheer." "Walk toward us." "Give that a try." "This is the best day, the best time and really exciting." "Just one step away from champion of the world." "Hey, pal, you mind stepping out of my shot?" "Oh, this is your shot?" " Hi." " Low." "Very low, Jackie!" " Doug, can we take five?" " Who is this?" "I need five minutes." "I'll meet you at the dressing room." "Outside the room." " I can explain..." " Oh, really?" "Well, go ahead." "Explain." "Explain to me how my deal and my exclusive rights to your story wind up in the lap of that idiot savant?" "He's a smart idiot, Gavin." "And it's a long story, so I..." "Let me give the abridged version." "Once upon a time, there was HBO!" "You know what, Jackie?" "For all of your hustle and bustle and bullshit, the one thing that you always were was honorable, in a very real way." "If you said something, you meant it." "And if you didn't say it, well, you meant that too." "That's quite an attribute." "Not a lot of people have that." "And now neither do you." " Wait, what is the problem?" " A little pre was the deal." "No, pre with me." "Post with Luther." "That was the deal, Doug." "If it was, it's not now." "We got great stuff with you, Jackie." "But if we don't get Luther, my audience won't bite." "You become the latest waste of tape." "OK." "That's nice, man." "Hey, guys." "Doug Doherty, HBO, as if you didn't know." "And this is his crew, Steven and Nick and Beth." "They're here to observe, not to interact or interfere, so act natural." "You guys just back up a little bit." "I'll be back." "Get your goddamn hands off of me!" "And get them the hell out of here!" "HBO." "OK?" "Please." ""Please", shit!" "I'll throw them out!" "No need to be alarmed or take notes." "He's venting." "It's tactical." " But we do need the room." " Everybody out, come on, guys." "They weren't gonna stay." "All they wanted was ten minutes of your time." " I don't have that kind of time!" " You could have made it!" "Jesus, I do." "I work my ass off to get you everything you want." "No, everything you want!" "You still think you own me?" "That I owe you?" "You do owe me." "Where do you think this world you're living in came from?" "It came from me." "Putting my life on the line, having faith in you, Luther." " Giving you faith in yourself." " You bitch!" "I gave your ass a damn chance!" "Everything you did for me, I did the same goddamn thing for you!" "That's how you got the world you're living in." "HBO's in the ring after the fight." " We are doing that interview." " No, you do it!" "Our shit is permanently disconnected!" "You stay away from me!" "And you stay the hell away from my corner!" "Do you understand that English?" "The only English I understand is in our contract." "You fight for me, or you don't fight at all." "Break!" "Break!" "Step back!" "We're in the middle of the eighth." "I don't know what's holding Sands up." "He is taking a lot of punishment." " Hard shots to the body." " Take it to him!" "Get him!" "Shaw's conditioning is just superb." "He really came to fight." "Moving well, crisp combinations." "He's showing me a lot of finesse." "That's it!" "That's it!" "Sands is down, and he's not getting up." " Fight's over!" " That's what I'm talking about." "That's what I'm talking about." "I got you." "It's all right, man." "Excuse me, coming through." "Y'all see that?" "You ain't got shit!" "You ain't got shit!" "You talking to me, sucker?" " Great fight." "Great fight." " Great fight." " Give me that belt!" " Chump!" "Come on." "Excuse me." "Luther!" " Good fight, good fight." " Thanks." "I'll get him to talk with you." "Luther!" "I'll get him." " Congratulations, Luther, great fight." " Luther." "Luther." "We'll just give Luther a minute to celebrate with his friends, and then we're gonna look at the instant replay." "Anyway, terrific performance from Luther Shaw." "Stunning left-cross, right-hook combination that put Sands down." "Jackie, you've gotta be very, very happy with his performance tonight." "Did you read this?" "You're glued to Kallen for the next 24 months." "I ain't fighting for her and that's all there is to it." "You don't have a choice unless you choose not to fight at all." "Buy me out like you did Hernandez." "Hernandez was a bargain." "You're a gamble who won't come cheap." "Half-pint will hold me up like a bank." "Why the hell do you think I'm here?" "I wanna fight for you." "You're here because you're mad." "Because you made a bad deal." "You throw tantrums in your room instead of parties." "I don't minus points for that." "Hell, I like mad on my boxers." "I don't think you can hold that thought or keep your shit together sitting it out for the next two years." "The guy with the two left feet looks good." "I like the one with the two left eyes." "Yeah, I try to make a champ, I wind up with a monster." "So screw Luther, I'll get somebody else the damn belt." "I wouldn't count on that." "Champ material is just like any other special thing:" "Rare." "What are you doing for dinner tonight?" "My HBO thing's coming on." "I'd appreciate it if you watched it with me." "Yeah, yeah." "Yeah, I'll watch it with you." "It's a cliche, but I'm living proof dreams do come true." "Just one step away from champion of the world." "Jackie Kallen." "Even if you don't follow boxing, chances are you still recognize the name." "Kallen didn't just claw her way inside the boxing arena, she captured center ring." "Kallen's a snake-in-the-grass charmer." "I gave her a start and took a lot of heat for it." "She thought she was something special." "I didn't." "Still don't." " Back off, fool." " No comment." "That's all, so get the camera out of my face." "Why do you think you've done well in, for lack of a better term, a boys' club?" "Where women are notoriously non grata." "Well, I didn't ingratiate myself, Doug." "I went toe-to-toe with the guys." "I made them deal with me." "They never saw ferocious in high heels before." "In dealing with you, some of the guys seem to have got pretty prickly." "Oh, prickly." "Interesting choice of words, Doug." "Look, I'm really good at what I do." "I'm not gonna disappear just because I make some people uncomfortable." "It's not gonna happen." "Just ask her, and she'll quickly remind you that Luther Shaw, her middleweight wannabe of the world, wouldn't be where he is if she weren't where she is, which is all over the place," "talking about herself." "Her impact on boxing is irrefutable, but it's still a man's world." "A heartless, egocentric, self-centered boys' club." "And Jackie Kallen is its newest member." "Funny thing is, she'll probably think that was a compliment." "I'm Doug Doherty for HBO Sports." "Thanks for watching." "I'm not like that." "I mean, come on." "Do you think I'm like that, Felix?" "No." "Not to me." "See you tomorrow." " Excuse me." " Sure." "OK, Joanne." "I'd call, but I was afraid you wouldn't see me." "There's a lot of that going around." "Well, you're right, I wouldn't have." "But you're here now, so, what do you want, Jackie?" "Listen, I'm sorry." "I am, I'm sorry." "I knew a million people, but I only had a couple of friends." "I grabbed a chance for myself, and I took a great opportunity from you." "You did." "I was counting on it, and I was counting on you." "You know, for the first time in my life, people heard what I had to say." "They had to listen because I was too important to ignore." "That is not an excuse, but it is an explanation." "I thought I could handle it, had control." "But with guys like Sam LaRocca, I'm just way overmatched." "Well, you changed the face of boxing, Jackie." "You cracked some pretty hard cement." "You can be proud of that." "Well, I can't be proud of what I did to Luther." "We're finished." "I accept that." "Listen, Gavin." "I don't expect you to forgive me, but I just don't want you to hate me." "Jackie Kallen for Sam LaRocca." "Sir, Jackie Kallen's here to see you." "He wants to know what it's about." "Just tell him I have something he wants." "You're here to make this deal?" "Luther deserves a shot at the title." "It's the right thing to do, so I'm doing it." "I'm here to negotiate myself so I know he won't get screwed by you." "Well, I'm happy to amuse you, Sam, but this is how it's gonna be." "He gets a shot at Hernandez within a year." "He wins the title, he gives you two years." "He loses, close or good, you give him three additional fights." "And if he wins those fights, you guarantee a rematch for the title." "I don't want him that bad." "Well Luther's the next middleweight champ." "You know it, I know it." "This is one-stop shopping." "It's a one-time deal." "I go down the street, I get a manicure." "I come back, the papers are drawn up." "The terms are clear." "Once this deal is done you're done with Shaw." "You disappear." "No wiping his ass between rounds." "You understand?" "I don't wanna see you." "At last the feeling is mutual." "Too smart by half." "I thought the agency was kidding when they faxed your resume." "I read it twice just to be sure." "I mean, insurance is about as far away from boxing as a girl can get." "I'm counting on it." "You won't have trouble at Dee-Dee's desk." "It's very organized." "And Mr. Sloan doesn't expect much, just answer his phones, get his coffee, don't take it personally if he doesn't talk to you." "Mr. Sloan never bonds with the temps." "OK, Kim, what about these?" "Those are client files." "Do you think you can put them in alphabetical order?" "Sure." "Is there anything else I should know?" "Dee-Dee would appreciate it if you water her plant." "Hello?" "Hey, Felix." "What?" "What's the problem?" "You're downstairs?" "Yeah, OK." "Felix." "Hey." "What's wrong?" " What?" " LaRocca's putting Luther in the ring with Hernandez in three weeks." "That's too soon." "That's crazy." "The guy Pedro was scheduled to fight, they're saying he cracked a rib, so he's subbing Luther instead." " "They're saying"?" " There's nothing wrong with his ribs..." " I know, Felix." " That's why I hate this game." "We wanted a shot at the title." "We wanted an honest shot." "Why should he give us an honest shot?" "So he can watch the fighter you found walk away with the belt?" "I mean, he knows there ain't no way I can get that boy ready in time." "What am I supposed to do, huh?" "I can't take this to Luther, Jackie." "I can't do it." "I can't." "I wanna see LaRocca." "Did you hear me?" "Did you hear me?" "Mr. LaRocca's in a meeting." "Look, he can't screw my fighter like this." "He is setting him up to lose, goddamn it." "If he is in a meeting, you go in there, and you tell him to get the hell out right now." "He said to tell you he's in a meeting for the rest of your life." "Ain't no way I can train for Hernandez in three weeks, Felix." "Ain't no way." "What's the point?" "Point is, you still got a shot, son." "It ain't the fairest shot, but you still gotta take it." "I ain't ready." "Oh, you think you the first boxer to have a bad time, huh?" "A raw deal." "Luther, you gotta take the shot." "Right here." "Y'all put your hands in the air!" "Put your hands in the air!" "That's what we're doing!" "Luther Shaw!" "Well, tonight, Luther Shaw's dream has become bona fide real life." "He's about to face Pedro Hernandez for the WBC Middleweight World Championship." "And he comes into this fight a big underdog." " How do you see it?" " "Underdog" is the word." "This is a big question mark." "I like Shaw." "He's got lots of courage, heart, but he's green." "To put him in the ring, with only 16 professional matches, against Hernandez, that's the deciding factor." "You know, Hernandez has made it abundantly clear he has no love lost whatsoever for young Shaw." "Here comes Shaw now." "Luther was not the originally scheduled opponent tonight." "That was meant to be Cecil Young, who suffered an injury in training, creating the opening for Shaw." "Pedro!" "Pedro!" "Pedro!" "Ladies and gentlemen, Pedro Hernandez, the WBC Middleweight Champion of the World, is entering the ring." "And what a hand he's getting from the crowd." "It's overwhelming here." "He is lighting this place up." "This is the one you wanted." "Don't feel him out." " Smoke this sucker!" "Let's go." " He's nothing." " He has got a mission to accomplish." " Hernandez is a fast starter." "In the early rounds, it's necessary for Shaw to use his legs, stay on the outside, remain elusive." " Look at me, man!" " He doesn't want a slugfest early on." "There's no question about that." "And we'll see what kind of fight Hernandez brings too." "Hernandez, of course, has tremendous power." "He's undefeated in 30 professional bouts." "And he really brings a complete package into the ring." "Ladies and gentlemen, this is the moment we've all been waiting for." "Twelve rounds of boxing for the WBC Middleweight Championship of the World." "And now, for the thousands in attendance and the millions watching around the world, let's get ready to rumble!" " It's sold out." " Sorry, lady." "Sold out." "Here is the pride of Cleveland, Ohio." "The undefeated challenger, Lethal Luther Shaw!" "Luther!" "Luther!" "Luther!" "And fighting out of the red corner..." "Listen to me." "You stay relaxed." "Keep your hands up and circle him, you understand?" "All right, keep him turning." "Every now and then, touch him with a jab." "All right?" "Now, don't worry about his head." "Hit him in the chest, shoulders, arm, anywhere." "That's all I want this first round." "Understand what I'm saying?" "Pedro "El Tigre" Hernandez!" "Referee in charge of the action, Ray Marsh, will give instructions at ring center." "Gentlemen, you both had the rules explained in the dressing room." "I wanna see a good, clean fight." "Good luck to the both of you." "Touch gloves." "Let's do it." "You're nothing." "He looks a little scared." "It's nothing but another fight, that's all it is." "Second's up!" "Remember, stay relaxed." "Keep your hands up." " Come on!" " We're set for round one." "Hernandez has a look of fury in his eyes." "Hernandez comes charging out!" "Oh, a big right hand lands for Hernandez." "Come on, Luther." "Punch out, punch out." "Come on, turn him." "Turn him, Luther." "Off the ropes." "Shaw is taking punch after punch." "Can't throw his own." "Clearly, Hernandez wants to finish in the first round." "No feeling-out process here." "He must be double-parked because he's in a hearse." "Yes!" " Oh, look at that." " An intentional foul." " That was very, very, low." " Referee Ray Marsh is all over him." "Luther can take up to five minutes if he wants to." "If Shaw retaliates with the same, this will be a dirty fight." "Surprisingly, Hernandez is the one letting his emotions" " get the better of him." " Fight clean!" "Punch out and move." "Turn him." "That's it." "Keep that jab in there, keep that jab in there." "All night long, all night long, that's it!" "Keep him missing!" "Shaw's starting to dance..." "Oh, Pedro leaps in with a left hook!" " A huge shot!" " Follows with a right-left combination." "Oh, a great shot to the jaw!" "And you know what?" "Luther's hurt." "He's gotta feel hurt." "Come on, Luther!" "Come on, baby!" "Come on!" "There's the bell to end round one." "What a furious pace!" "Come on, Ray!" "How much rough stuff you gonna let him get away with?" "I'm gonna turn my boy loose next!" "Gavin!" "I'd pay to see the look on Kallen's face right now." "Oh, really." "Name your price, Irv." "What?" "Shit." "Listen to me, Luther." "Listen." "The only chance you got of winning this fight, you gotta do what I tell you, now." "He's charging in there wide open," " and you ain't making him pay." " He's hitting me low." "Luther, there comes a point in every boxing match where a fight's gotta start, understand?" "He hits you low, hit him back." "Get rough with him." "Deep breath." "If you use your skill, you can beat this boy." "Just give yourself some punching room, now." "Stand up off him and box the damn man." "Box him." "Use your skill." "Now, come on." "Get up, get up." "There's the bell for round two." "Hernandez applies pressure, now from behind the jab." "Somebody's opened a can of Puerto Rican whup-ass out here." "Hernandez is just mauling him out there." "And now Hernandez is taunting Shaw." "Come on, Pedro!" "Come on!" "Break!" "What the...?" "You know something?" "If he continues this, he's gonna lose his title on disqualification." "This could get ugly real fast." "I'm telling you now." "Pedro Hernandez is very heavy-handed." "He has knockout power and slow fists." " Keep them up!" " Yeah, baby!" "That's the way to make a hit!" "That's it!" "Go right back at him!" "Get up!" "Go on, there, Pedro!" "Neutral corner!" "One, two..." " Get up, come on!" "...three!" " Pedro!" "Pedro!" "Pedro!" " Four, five, six..." " You OK, Luther?" " Yeah." " Where are you?" " Cleveland Coliseum." " What round is it?" " Second." " The towel's coming out." " I don't think he'll make this round." " OK, let's go." " Hernandez is a great finisher." "Shaw's on rubber legs..." " Hernandez is back at him again!" " Don't." "Can he go for five rounds of that?" "Break, break!" "Come on, guys!" "Break, listen to me here!" "Look at that!" "Shaw comes back and lands a combination!" "Luther Shaw's doing tremendous harm." "And a big left hand!" "Head-butt." "The head-butt, Dougie!" "Come on, now!" "Watch the head." " You OK, Luther?" " Yeah." "OK, let's go." "Come on!" "Want some of this?" "Send him back to the ghetto!" "There's the bell to end round two." "An unbelievable rout." "Four fouls from Hernandez, and no point deducted." "Who paid for your vacation break?" "I don't believe this." "Jackie Kallen just entered the ring." " What the...?" " Damn it, back him up!" " Don't let him back you up." " Let me talk." " I'll be damned." " Luther, I've got one minute." "I'm sorry." "I screwed up." "I screwed up bigtime." "But you have got to get up." "You can do this." "You can handle it." "You are in shape." "You can go 12 rounds." "You are a champion, damn it." "Hernandez is fighting dirty because he knows that's the only way he can beat you." "Listen to me." "Listen." "You have a chance to make boxing history tonight." "You have potential for that kind of greatness." "You don't need me." "You already have it." "Always did." "Seconds!" "I want you to get in there, and you knock this guy's ass off the champ map." "Come on, Luther." "Come on." "Back him up." "Back him up." "Switch up on him." "Go right-handed." "Nail his ass when he's charging in." "Now go handle your business." "The Middleweight Championship of the World, baby." "Come on!" "What do you think about everything tonight?" "As we get set for round three, Hernandez rushes out!" "He's on fire again!" "Shaw is moving better now." "Shaw is moving a little better, swinging out of the corner." "Whatever Kallen said to him woke him up." " He's pumping that jab now too." " Double that jab up, baby!" "What the hell is he waiting for?" "Come on!" "Come on!" "Come on, fight!" "Come on, fight me!" " Power box his ass!" " What's he waiting for?" "Come on!" "Shaw is not fighting Pedro's fight." "Hernandez is physically enraged!" " Yes!" " A big right hand by Shaw!" "And back comes Hernandez!" "They're throwing nuclear weapons in there!" "Beautiful shot!" "Yes!" "Hey, quick!" "Get out of there!" "That last body shot inside wobbled Hernandez." " I think he's cut!" " Break!" "Come on, guys!" "Break." "No holding!" "Hernandez's trying to jab his way in, but there's nothing on those punches!" "Break!" "Break!" "A little bit the tables have turned!" "Dancing Shaw is the bully now!" "Switch up on him, Luther!" "Take it to him now, Luther!" "Shaw switches from southpaw and lands a big right hand!" "You got him!" "You got him!" "Go!" " Yes!" " Yes!" " He's cut, he's cut, he's cut!" " Come on!" "Come on!" "Break!" "Break!" " Break clean!" " Let me see, Pedro." " Let me see!" " No, no." " I'm all right." " Let me look." " That's a bad cut." " You got him!" " No, no, no." "Come on!" " He's gonna let it continue." "Hernandez still wants to fight, but he is doing the same exact move." "And Hernandez moves!" "He's out on his feet!" "Yes!" " Yes, yes!" " One, two..." " Get up!" " Get up!" "Come on!" "Yes!" "Oh, my God!" "I told you!" "I told you!" "I told you!" "Luther!" "Luther!" "Luther!" "What?" "What?" "Let's take him home!" "Jackie!" "Jackie!" "Jackie!" "Where she at?" "Where's Jackie?" "Jackie!" "Jackie!" "Jackie!" "Jackie!" "Luther!" "Luther!" "Luther!" "Hey, Felix." "Always good to see you, my friend." "And a guest." "Hey, Felix." "Put your goddamn hands up!"

"Water" " Going to help me or not?" " How long?" "2:12:03" "Same excuse..." "it never changes." " You're OK?" "You'r e hurt?" " I'm OK." " You sure you're OK?" " Yes." "You never look?" "You just drive through." "Sorry." "I did n't see you." "Sure you're OK?" "You want a ride?" "No." "I'm fine." "Open Waters Marathon Santa Fe-C oronda is back" "I was scared something happened to you." "Open Waters..." "Losers..." "Who cares..." "Guys too slow for the pool." "I saw it at the newsstand yesterday." "I asked Rúben to keep it." "He can use it to wrap eggs." "Don't you want it?" "No." "I don't care about the Marathon." "It's about swimming, I thought..." "For you it's all the same." "But it's not." "What's that?" "You're hurt?" "No." "I fell." "But I'm OK." "No apples?" "I cooked you some fish." "Fried." "I told you I can't eat." "I'm off to bed." "Marquez asks if you want to earn some money." "Juan got sick." "They leave in an hour." "You think I'm in shape to load meat?" "María..." "No, Goyo." "No." "Forgive me." "When you left, you said you didn't deserve it." "I know it's not enough... but back then, I felt I had nothing to offer you." "I've hated you." "I've cursed you with all my soul..." "I waited for you." "But you gave me no chance." "You gave nobody a chance." "You just erased us, from your life." "You think I cared about what people said?" "I did n't give a damn!" "We could've pulled through together..." "They destroyed me." "And you?" "Were you fair to me?" "So I erased you too, for good." "I've heard you got married." "You want to know if I'm OK?" "Yes, I'm fine." "I'm glad." "He's always been ther e." "He might not be a great man, but he's a good man... and what we have is real." "Goyo, please leave things as they are." "Sorry, but I have things to do." "Who's that, Mom?" "Nobody, Sol." "He sells..." "Br ooms!" "And where are they?" "Over there in the car." "Sorry to disturb you, Ma'am." "Sol, put your head inside." "But he's got no car, no br ooms." "You know him?" "No." " You want your nails done?" " Tomorrow." "I have to do mine." "They're awful." "If I qualify they'll put in money." "The sponsors..." "Does it hurt?" "No." "Besides, we'll travel." "We'll travel all the time." "To Buenos Aires?" "Sure." "But also to Brazil," "Canada, Australia." "That's how it is, honey." "If I qualify, forget this gutter." "OK, we're over." "What's wrong?" "I forgot it was today." "Sorry." "You had to practice." "You know I do it for both of us." "Thanks." "Bye." "Time..." "Rhythm..." "Time... 2:09:65" "Time..." "Reach..." "Touch..." "Turn..." "Time..." "Time... 2:09:65" "Time..." "Reach..." "Touch, turn..." "Time." "OK." "Everybody out." "That's it for today." "Come on." "Good." "Very good." "Over her e, please." "Come on." "Over her e everybody." "As you all know, the qualifications are coming up." "I want, maximum concentration." "You all know, what you have to do." "Time and effort." "You see that line on the bottom." "You see that cr oss coming closer." "You have to reach it." "Mor e." "Mor e." "More." "Tomorrow, I want you to put everything in ther e." "Everything." "If you get into that pool, you kill yourselves." "You ask no questions." "No doubts." "You don't think." "Inside there, you put your soul, your heart." "You forget everything." "You go blank." "OK." "Understood?" "Good." "You can leave." "Get some r est." "See you all tomorr ow." "Chino." "Please." "Come her e." "Come her e." "How come you're stuck?" "What?" "You'r e not moving." "Come on, Sol." "Sol, what's wr ong?" "That man told me he sold brooms, and then Mom and Dad fought because of him." "You know each other?" "Chino Bengoechea." "Goyo Blasco, the "River Shark"." "See that kid over ther e?" "He pretends to swim, but he's walking." "That's you." "You'r e afraid to let go." "Understood?" "Go change." "Yes, sir." "Fr om Santa Fe?" "Ours." "As a kid he was all alone, so I let him sleep, in the Club." "He practically grew up in that pool." "I wouldn't have bet a penny on him." "But he busted his ass." "The most disciplined." "The most patient." "Nice sport swimming..." "healthy." "That's what he told you?" "I'm not wanted her e, am I?" "I have bad press." "Don't worry about accommodation." "I put you in the Marathon pack." "And I can get you the per diem for foreigners." "I'm a foreigner now?" "Everything's so differ ent." "She changed too." "What did you expect?" "I expected nothing." "We both screwed up, Goyo." "You and me." "Together." "I thought they'd never find out." "So what?" "So what?" "You think a spray keeps you going 8 hours in there?" "I won that race alone fighting for hours in there." "Alone." " I know what it's like, Goyo." " No, you don't!" "You go on a boat." "I'm sorry." "Who do you think you are?" "I'm sorry, Roque." "You still don't get it." "You think, you're the center of the world." "You'r e right." "Nobody wants you here." "I like swimming in different locations." "Different pools." "Other countries." "So routine doesn't affect you." "And you get to travel everywhere..." "Sometimes I get sick of it." "The day I don't swim well my coach harps about getting home to fix mistakes." "See this pimpled rash?" "It's from repeated shaving." "Over and over again." "In pool, time is the only thing that counts." "It's a race against the clock." "If you don't make, the time they ask your merit and effort is zero." "You've only gone fr om one end to the other." "Why didn't you wake up to kiss me goodbye?" "You know it brings me luck." "Good." "Good." "It hurts." "Roque knows, I'm not OK." "How do you feel?" "I'm fine." "So you're after, the r ecord?" "My record." "That's C órdoba Serlin's mark." "The record." "Chino never reached it." "Martín Castillo, fr om Mar del Plata." "Lane 1, Juampi Lloret, fr om Olivos." "He's off to Mexico." "Lane 5, Arnaldo Fernández, fr om Buenos Aires." "Lane 8, Ramón H urtado, Entre Ríos." "A boxer." "He trains with us." "For a whole month, he biked thr ough the entire" "He had no money for the bus." "Calm, Chino." "Relax." "Good, good." "Perfect turn." "C ome on." "No, no!" "Legs first, arms follow!" "Keep it on the legs!" "In the final meters," "Córdoba Serlin has punished Chino Bengoechea so hard that Fernandez and Castillo have passed him too, robbing him of 2nd and 3 rd place." "No Santa Fe swimmers qualify this time." "The boys are out of the national team" "Wait, wait." "Calm down." "Good." "Very good." " Anybody left in the bathrooms?" " No." "He's going to quit." " No, he'll get over it." " No." "He'll quit." "Coming back home, like this..." "I should think of my son now." "Focus on Luisa and the baby." "But I can't." "I don't feel anything." "I think I don't care." "Sure you can handle it, Chino?" "Sure." "Do you know him?" "Yes." "He quit swimming." "Poor kid." "It's as if he's been unplugged." "Out of water, he gasps." "It's been waiting you for years." "Take it." " It means..." " It means nothing." "But the Federation..." "The Federation considers it belongs to you." "Whatever you did." "You could buy PFC in any pharmacy." "It was forbidden." "It was a technicality." "You authorized it 2 months later." "It was forbidden." "By people who never wore swimming trunks." "Here." "Take it." "Here." "Thanks." "Ana." "I'm Ana." " Goyo." " I know." "One of my kids forgot her backpack." "I thought it was Chino." "He's used to come here late." "But it wasn't." "It was you" "My br other trained Gómez." " Pedr o?" " Yes." " You remember me?" " No." "But I r emember you." "Bye." "You can keep it." "What?" "The towel." " You can give it to me later." " No!" " I mean it!" " No, take it back." " Bye." " Bye." "Hello?" "Roque." "Yes." "I'll check if he's in." "Roque..." "You too, you failed." "And you want me to finish like you, a teacher in a pool." " Honey..." " I'm not in." "It's Roque." " I'm not in." " But it's the fourth time." "He'll get tired." "They're paying 400 pesos." "Mor e than in the store." "The money comes, fr om the pr ovince." "If you agree, we start right away." "Two weeks is no time." "I'm not going back." "Not even on a boat." "You see what it has brought us." "What it has left me." "I thought, I could help you." "I see I was mistaken." "What do you care?" "Chino!" "Did he tell you he ran me over?" "I didn't see him." "I already apologized." "Now, I'm offering you a job." "I need it." "But I'm not going back." "Zero." "It's over." "Besides, I already have a job." "Loading meat..." "So what?" " I'll do it." " You don't have to." "I insist." "The onions." "Don't I always tell you to wet your wrists?" "I forget." "Nice weather for the most beautiful marathon that is back after an 8-year break" "The temperatur e is 28º F, the sky is clear with mild south wind." " Olsen didn't come?" " No, he didn't." " So you're going to compete?" " Yes." "We thought you had retir ed." "Olsen refused the prize that time, you know?" "Olsen is a friend." "Concerning the regulations, it's important to know that no physical contact is allowed." "Either between swimmer and boat or between swimmers." "You're not allowed to hold onto the boat, or the oar." "The only contact allowed is when you take the food from your guides." "Those swimmers who are her e for the first time, bewar e of the br own color of our waters." "You can't see far ahead at this distance." "This is why the guides carry a blackboard to write indications, to the swimmer:" "His swim rhythm..." "Maybe I was wrong." "I should be like you." "Leave everything." "This is the place, we call the ford, the mythic spot in the race." "This year, the ford runs against the swimmers." "Here, an island divides the river." "Each swimmer is fr ee to choose sides:" "Right or left." "Your decision will define your success or your failur e." "Don't forget that fr om the ford to Coronda which is the arrival, you still have 4 hours left to go." "Where do we take this, Chino?" "To my place, near the pier." "Damn, I forgot!" "They cut it off?" "They will today." "It's not because of me, but I'm afraid." "If something happens, I'm alone." "You'r e not alone." "I'm." "You'r e not." "I'll take care of you." "When?" "No doorbell?" "No power." "Get dr essed." "We'r e going." " Where?" " To the river." "At night?" "It makes no difference once you're in." "I told you." "What am I doing here?" "It's not because of the money." "When I drive I like to think." "Can't you think with the radio?" "No." "He exaggerates." "You indicate:" "Closer, further, faster, slower." "OK?" "You guide me:" "Over here, over ther e." "For me to drink, you hand it over to me." "When I thr ow the cup, catch it." "I don't like to leave litter." "OK." "Understood?" "He's an animal." "He doesn't feel his body." "I did everything wrong." "I screwed up." "I'll take the bus her e." "Sure it's running?" "Yes." "I'll wait here." "He got rid of everything." "Alone, you have to be alone." " Hi." " Hi." " Where ar e you going?" " To the hotel." " I'll take you." " You're heading that way?" "I'm their runner." " So you're competing?" " Yes." "That's good." "You haven't changed." "You know, I teach Sol..." " Teach what?" " Swimming." "She loves it." "She's on level 3." "So you're her?" "Yes." "But you didn't tell her." "No." "She knows anyway." "It must be difficult for you." "After being away for so long... to see her mother again..." "as you're still..." "No." "I need to get some r est." "Sure." " Will you be able to?" " I don't know." " Are you OK?" " Yes." "Do you want me to leave?" "I can't." "Let's now welcome the swimmer whose name was engraved on the Milkaut 2004 C up!" "Stoychev!" "And to everyone's delight with number 12, the Argentine prospect, and Santa Fe's hope," "Goyo Blasco, the "River Shark"." "He's back for a second attempt after his controversial triumph in 1996 when he was disqualified for doping." "Today, he's been completely cleared of this accusation." "Despite the controversy, the "Shark" is back to prove that he's still the best in this river." "It won't start." "What do you mean?" "It's jammed." " It won't start." " Check again!" "It doesn't work." "Chino, you read me?" "This is Roque." "Roque." "Listen." "My boat is stuck." "You have to guide Goyo." "Can you see him?" "Yes, but he's going another way." "What do you mean another way?" "Goyo!" "What's wrong?" "Help me!" "Let go." "No!" "Let go!" "I'm stopping." "Help me!" "No!" "Let go..." "Goyo!" "Get in the water." "We'll switch again after the ford." "The ford?" "The boat can't go in ther e." "I'll wait for you at the end of it." "Would you do the same for me?" "The ford" "You'r e on your own" "Here..." "The ford ends here." "Goyo!" "Goyo!" "Goyo!" "Goyo!" "Goyo!" "Goyo!" "Reach..." "Time and effort..." "Reach..." "Even if I don't know where I'm going..." "Even if it's somebody else's race." "I ask myself no questions." "I don't doubt." "I don't think." "I go blank." "I forget everything." "Water" "It's the final str etch." "Stéphane Gómez is leading the competition." "Both Gómez and Stoychev wear a white cap." "But Frenchman Gómez is wearing a black suit." "We can see it at his shoulders." "Here are the first thr ee" "Gómez and Stoychev followed by Blaun." "He has touched!" "Stéphane Gómez has touched!" "And, of course... everybody is wondering:" "Wher e is the "Shark"?" "What about his r evenge, what about his Marathon?" "Appar ently, his boat br oke down and he's arriving alone." "No guide, no boat, alone." "Kid!" "What's this mess?" "You buried me!" "You!" "The boat broke down." "That's all." "I don't know anything!" "Nothing at all!" "I don't know when they switched." "I was leaving." "The real world." "How do you cr oss the bridge that takes you there?" "Somebody waits for you there." "Somebody waits so patiently for you to make a gesture." "I lift my arm to ask for help and they think I'm saying goodbye." "They turn their backs and leave." "No." "I'm cr ossing the bridge." "I'm coming." "Give me time."

"My son is dead." "I looked inside myself and realized that I felt no grief." "Suffering is a painted backdrop." "Tears bring me no nearer to the world." "My son... fell from me like... a leaf from a tree... and I've lost nothing." "Joseph is now my founder." "This loss is my foundation." "Joseph has made of me his son." "And I feel boundless joy." "Abel and Junon had a son:" "the first-born." "Two years later his sister was born:" "Elizabeth." "the boy developed a blood cancer called Burkitt's lymphoma." "Only a bone-marrow transplant could save Joseph." "Neither his parents nor his sister were compatible." "Junon conceived a third child but amniocentesis showed his placenta would be of no help." "Abel left for the hospital in Paris wasting away." "Junon delivered in Roubaix and Henri was born." "No use." "Joseph died 18 months later." "He was six." "Henri wasn't taken to the funeral." "He had a belly ache." "Elizabeth became the eldest." "Ivan." "the memory of Joseph faded." "A CHRISTMAS TALE" "Junon?" "what happened?" " Nothing." "It's silly." "I fell." "THE ELDEST" "I'm sterile." "I'm unhappy." "Angry." "Seething with anger." "I even hate you." "the same sorrow hounds me." "There's no end in sight." "Whose death am I mourning?" "Mourning..." "It's not my brother Joseph." "We never stop talking about him." "No one cares about my son." "And he's alive." "It's as if someone died and I don't know who." "It's silly." "I haven't mourned anyone recently." "the one I can't seem to bury." "To no avail." "Of course... but try again." "That's all." "I guess when I say this it's a metaphor." "But a metaphor for what?" "I'm lacking in nothing." "I'm lacking in nothing at all." "Why do you hate your brother?" "my loathing grew." "FIVE YEARS EARLIER" "Was Henri now vile?" "Did I ever love him?" "He had bought a theater and produced my plays." "Being indebted weighed on me. a theater that was never paid for..." " But my client is not solvent." " I will be." "but I bought it and now I'm selling it." "I was a shitty manager but tomorrow I'll double my money." "You are not financially liable for your children." "You're not bound to pay your son's debts." "morally." "And Henri is in a situation of extreme poverty." "Is what your father says true?" "Of course!" "Of course he's extremely poor. so legally you must repossess his house and business... however foolish he has been." "000 francs." "but it may be lower." "Cut it out." "It's just some cash-flow trouble." "We won't be selling anything." "Henri." "Can you step outside?" "Of course." "Here are three payments." "My client agrees to reimburse the defendant's debts." "I have one condition." "I won't see my brother again." "He must never speak to me." "Ever." "no more surprise gifts." "or anyone in the family." "honey." "You're my children." "Obviously you can see him whenever you like." "But I don't ever want to have to put up with him. on holiday." "Nowhere." "What you're asking of my client is unreasonable." "I'm court-appointed..." "My clients just want what they're owed. your private life is not a matter for the court." "Henri won't be there." "he won't be part of the family." "Henri had never paid a bill. waiting to turn a profit on what wasn't his." "He'd have chosen prison over honesty." "I decided to save him." "One last time." "Your sister wanted to testify against you to deprive you of artistic control." "I pleaded the impossibility of testifying against family." "Your sister asked never to see you again." "I think I heard her say that you were... banished." "I think that's the word she used." "I'm sorry." "Crook." "Bastard." "That's life." "I'll eat with your sister then take the train at 10:00." "Want to have a drink at the station?" "Nine-thirty?" "You're not in jail." "It's better than nothing." "the judge dismissed the case." "Henri was acquitted." "He disappeared from my life." "You make him out to be the devil." "He is like the devil." "twisted." "He's banal." "To be rejected by your mother goes against nature." "Why such animosity between mother and son?" "I told you. like evil." "IN ROUBAIX" "It's me." "So?" "What's the news?" "As of now it's a refractory anemia... with a disastrous short-term prognosis." "but... statistically I'm going to die twice." "I have a degenerative cancer that has a 75% chance of killing me." "The only solution is a bone-marrow transplant." "But the transplant is likely to kill me too." "So... your chances are slim." "Indeed." "I wasn't that great a deal." "like in poker." "I was always lousy at cards." "A one-in-four chance of compatibility with my siblings." "You don't have any left." "Too bad my brother died young." "A 25% chance. the transplant can kill the host." "Kill?" "kill." "the transplant itself." "And that's called a..." "GVH." "35% chance." "Do we have to run the risk?" "Radiation and chemotherapy can't help." "my blood phenotype is extremely rare." "sweetie." "1:00 a.m." "You okay?" "Where is he?" "Next door." "honey." "What's going on?" "I come... here... except..." "Except?" "There was no train last night." "for you." "Did Elizabeth see me?" "I scared her..." "Tell me." "What's this about a knife?" "Paul?" "Can I come in?" "My son had a shock this morning." "He heard about Junon." "Take this." "Get me out of here!" "At night they take my blood." "THE MIDDLE CHILD" "Gotta get the song out" "Fireball in my belly" "Acid batteries in my liver" "Orifices aren't mine" "It's all stuck torn ass" "Eyes aren't orifices" "If you poke a hole in one... an absent eye..." "Anyone we can notify?" "thank you!" "Roubaix Hospital" " Hematology Service" "We've started inquiring at tissue banks." "But there's a real danger we'll never find compatible marrow." "What about placental blood?" "The same." "You have a very rare gene." "What does this mean?" "Regular transfusions to offset your lack of red blood cells." "But the infections will increase." "Chances of survival without treatment are 10% over five years." "Or else?" "we inject the parent's marrow." "A haplo-transplant." "But the odds plummet." "It's very violent." "And the other way around?" "Children to parents." "It's not done." "How so?" "It's not done." "It's a desperate solution." "Why shouldn't Elizabeth give me life?" "It's cold." "Anesthetic gel." "Are you afraid?" "A little prick here." "It's quick and painless." "Just a second." "You're brave." "THE YOUNGEST for Paul Dédalus." " And you're..." " His uncle." "Your sister is waiting." "Room 19." "How's he doing?" "I can't tell anymore." "But he asked to see you." "I guess he heard his uncle went bonkers at the same age." "Cigarette?" "Drink?" "Nope." "They put mini-antennas in my skull." "To read my thoughts." "Your skull is no more bugged than your ass." "School got off to a bad start." "So at home I went overboard." "What does your father say?" "That I'm lonely." "Because I have no good friends." "Do you have bad friends?" "I know no one at school." "At your age I became..." "I was fifteen... and my life was reduced to one square inch." "The pain was nonstop." "But I was too young to know it." "it hit me." "My sister said to me:" "One day you'll see how great it all was." She was right." "It was scary but beautiful." "You'll have precious memories too." "But you can't stay here." "I'll see to it." "A painter with a feel for tits and ass is a saved man." "Says who?" "Auguste." "Who else?" "Did you do the blood test?" "Not yet." "but it's a long shot." "For you it's 1 in 16." "Try harder!" "My mother's your aunt." "No sense of family!" "Shut up." "I saw your nephews on Sunday." "Ivan gave me those pictures." "they're growing fast." "Baz is in kindergarten?" "It's a great age." "You're missing out." "Tell Elizabeth!" "Afraid of upsetting her?" "Have you seen the dragon?" "She's no dragon." "She's a paper tiger." "but doesn't bite." "It's been a month." "She asked me to lunch with your parents." "She canceled." "Something about her son." "So I ate with your father." "And Paul?" "Any news of him?" "Never any news of Paul." "No news of Paul since he turned six." "She built a wall around him." "He's a lonely kid." " They took his blood." " That's bullshit!" "How could his blood help?" "The thyroid?" "What morons!" "One morning I received for Junon's tests." "We all got one." "I wanted his chromosomes checked." "Paul is compatible." "And you?" "I'm not." "Paul has to go before the committee to get permission to be a donor." "What does Claude say?" "This morning he was against it." "Paul doesn't know." "I'm waiting for my results." "We'll wait for my kids to do theirs." "Henri too." "Henri's a bastard." "This house is my husband's." "He inherited it the day we were married." "We've lived in it ever since." "Over the years we've fixed it up." "It's become very comfortable." "Abel and I are elderly now..." "and we still live here." "This is the armchair where Abel reads his paper." "That's the table where I write my letters." "Our children no longer live here." "They come for holidays." "The grandkids play in the attic as their parents did." "Elizabeth banished her brother Henri and the house became less lively." "we're being reunited." "Paul is having trouble." "We're preparing for his arrival." "our doctor has inquired at a tissue bank in San Francisco." "Abel and I are still looking for a compatible donor." "Nana!" "We got shots!" "We were at the hospital!" "It didn't hurt." "I didn't cry." "The needle made me laugh!" "Will we have scars?" " Hang up your coats." " You're real men now!" "Baptiste made the doctors laugh." " Say it!" " I can't!" "Go on!" "I can't!" "murderers!" "honey." "Good going!" "Hang up your coats." "Why are you old when your wife's young?" "Because I like my women very young. and she married me." "then." "will I die?" "Silly question." "You're not sick." "Not like Junon." "If a car crashes into Baptiste and kills him?" "If you walk outside the crossing the spanking I'll give you will be so ferocious that even death will run away!" "Today Basile and Baptiste did their tests." "We'll have the results on Tuesday." "Want to talk to them?" "Stop it!" "Your mother's hitting on me." "I can't do two things at once!" "it's Ivan." "she's fine." "there's nothing tragic about this." "It's degenerative." "With the kids here we have no more sex." "Not true!" "A little less..." "Get lost!" "So call me with your results." "And don't forget to remind Henri about his test." "See you and Sylvia on the 22nd." "Mom sends her love." "Poor Ivan." "His wife is lazy." "She's a burden." "The mother of a family with all those kids." "Come on!" "She only has two and you had four!" "isn't she?" "I'm very fond of that girl." "she helped Ivan..." "She's no saint." "Trust me." "The lot I want... 000." "Here's a friend." "bad time." "young man." "I'm your nephew." "Shit!" "Paul?" "You're not at school?" "I couldn't care less." "I'm thrilled." "seeing you." "Did you know Junon needs a transplant?" "And did you do your test?" "Ivan already bawled me out." "I'm guilty and I don't give a fuck!" "I'll do their damn test and send Junon the results!" "Come for Christmas." "I was in the psych ward." "I had a breakdown." "They let me out." "Go home." "Tell your mom you came." "I'll call Claude tonight." "December 22nd" "THE LETTER I'm coming home for Christmas." "What words can we find to pave over five years of banishment?" "I fear." "Or else they require an inner strength you lack." "My same old principle:" "Don't act beyond your capacity to repair." "Junon can get away with anything because she can repair everything." "besides be forgiven." "you and your husband were both overindulged." "madness and violence of this new family structure have reached limits I never imagined." "We're in the midst of a myth and I don't know what myth it is." "of course." "it's easier to endure the discomfort and to hide under a cloak of boredom." "I know few people despised as much as I. It never ceases to amaze me." "Yet I imagine on some level it's what I want. thinking this letter straight out of... a Kafka parody:" "a good beginning for a story." "We're almost there." "All these attempts at mental and social assassination by some happy twist have turned me into a character and my life into a novel." "Four years of seeing my parents in cafés in Paris because my presence stank and I didn't know why. like a prisoner on the lam. she was a driving force in the wildly indecent attacks fomenting against me. through the stupid prism of my solitude." "No more words are necessary." "What words of yours could achieve sweetness without sentimentality after such a mess? as we say in court." "confused paragraph is to say I know this letter calls for no reply." "You won't find the words and I don't mind." "It's just that I see you today with fraternal pity." "you have offended your blood." "you cannot fix it." "nor the vase's." "Just a silly game that backfired." "Henri." "Where's Ivan?" "Late." "Working." "And were you working?" " What's that?" " Paintings." "For Abel." "I'm ridiculous." "Here he is." "I've been waiting an hour!" " I don't deserve you." " Yes!" "I don't." " You run away." " I do not." " What goes on in your head?" " Nothing." "I am." "constantly." "Because of me?" "How are you?" "On December 22 in the train to Roubaix I stared at Ivan both asleep." "Junon had called beforehand with instructions: keep Ivan's friends away." " Not even Spatafora?" " Nope." "Keep our boys from their schizophrenic cousin." "Fun Christmas ahead!" "no guests." " Deliveries?" "or else no drugs." " That sucks!" " Tell me about it." "You hole up like old folk." "I don't like to go out." "Fear of excursions." "We prefer to hole up." "But I'm very hospitable." "Papa!" "There was a glowing review of your latest play in the Nord-Éclair." "Your husband is doing terribly well." "And Paul?" "At the house." "He hasn't found his bearings since he got out." "Poor little Paul." "he'll go back to an institution." "It's nice he wanted to see his uncles." "The train stopped in Lille." "They smoked a quick cigarette." "I need to help the kid." "like I did at his age." "But I wasn't put away." "He's young and locked in that prison." "I had to free him!" "I couldn't help myself." "It was Henri and you." "I'm helping myself." "Understand?" "I haven't spoken to Henri in a while." "I'm nervous." "Your brother's unstable." "I tried to help." "It's a shame." "He showed such promise at school." "Can't you two make peace?" "I delight in his decline." "I'm not criticizing but I'm not blind." "You're distant." "No one dares speak to you." "How typical!" "Mom's sick." "Don't blame me!" "You always wanted a perfect world." "Well. your brother was not perfect." "And your son is wobbly." "Paul found out he's compatible." "Paul?" "What are you doing?" "nothing." "It's dark in here." "I refuse to be holed up." "I won't do the play." "The play's great." "The kids love it." " Speak to Henri?" " Yesterday on the phone." "Gets in the 24th." "More!" "You're heavy!" "Look at this bandit!" "Let go of him." "Sylvia!" " Can I hide this?" " What is it?" "Fireworks." "My baby!" "My nephew!" "Where's Paul?" "Waiting in the living room." "You're here." "kid." " What room?" " The attic." " Take the office!" " I'm fine." " Can I help you?" " I'm okay." "The kids are downstairs." "Where's Elizabeth sleeping?" "Upstairs." "And Henri?" "Here or at a hotel?" "One thing at a time." "Tonight Elizabeth's in the flower room not far from his mother." "You'll take the boys with you." "Tomorrow is another day." "Are you okay?" "I'm taking their room." "Why?" "I have to sleep alone." "They go in Ivan's room." "Sorry to bother you." "I'll just be a sec." "I want to get something." "My stash." "This used to be my room." "1000 years ago." "Little drink?" "my medicine." "I take Haldol." "It's nothing." "I know it." "Like vitamin C. May I?" "The mattress!" "She's asleep." "She always sleeps." "Family trait." "Easy." "Elizabeth!" "get up." " It's 4:00." " Already?" "We're here." "Did you see Paul?" "Come join us." "No peace and quiet!" "What madman is ringing the bell at this hour?" "Pain in the ass!" "You could have told us when you were coming." "I'd have picked you up." "I didn't know! found a girl and brought her." "Can she stay?" "Miss." "Abel." "Pleased to meet you." "Faunia." "How can a pretty woman like you be with someone so impossible?" " Where's your wife?" " Go say hi in the kitchen." "Your mother!" "Stop or I'll wash your mouth out with soap." "My brother!" "Hello." "you were 3." "I saw at the hospital." "You saw him at the hospital." "So you're Basile." "And you're Bastien." "Baptiste!" "Forget already?" "I'm Henri." "No duh!" "but I recognized you." "You keep changing." "What happened to you?" "I got held up." "For six years." "Abel's wife..." "Faunia." "He never calls me his mother." "Welcome." "No one's ever mentioned you." "You neither." "I'm the one with cancer." "That I know." "I wrote a toast for later but I'm thirsty!" "Terribly thirsty." "I need to drink." "kids." "Some wine for your alcoholic uncle." "I need wine." "I'm back." "I need to drink." "You okay?" "Where did you find her?" "huh?" " Growing a beard?" " Just exhausted." "Bad week." "And I learned I'm not compatible." "friends." " Sorry already?" " Lay off." "Cursed wolf!" "but for the kids..." "Medium"." "How right you are!" "Abel and Simon turned up their noses." " Was he there?" " I don't know." " He must be hiding." " Must be on holiday." "My cousin Paul." "You know him?" "Sure." "Stop plotting in front of me." "Go deal with your tree." "The chandelier!" "beautiful." "bandit." "Faunia..." "Sylvia." "My grandmother." "my older brother." "Junon's brother." "That's Simon as a kid." "This was his father." "And she was your wife." "Madeleine." "What a strange name." "Where was this taken?" "Milan." "We met at a conference." "Got married." "It lasted a month." "Then she had the car accident." "She was pretty." "Lousy driver." "before." "It's changed." "I'd like to drink to Paul's health." "I loved our vacations." "No one believed you were my grandson." "You took my hand and called me Junon." "I loved that." "Honey... did you get some rest?" "I sleep well here." "mothers especially." "Some grape juice will do you good." "Hello." "Easy does it!" "No way!" "Sober for Christmas?" "No reading at the table!" "No one's talking." "I'm bored." "I have some good news." "I'm finally back on my feet after my wife's death." "I'm getting remarried." "just kidding." "It was a joke." "it was in bad taste." "I don't bring good luck." "but I did my blood tests." "Turns out I'm compatible." "you can count only on me." "Thank you." "What a creep." "I wouldn't take your marrow." "I wouldn't offer it to you." "Can I go to bed?" "How can you stand his behavior?" "He likes to joke around." "That's how we met." "Simon!" "I'm grateful." "This is unbearable." "Henri was lying in wait." "You did well." "Get to sleep!" "Your prescription is complicated!" " When is the committee?" " I'll call tomorrow." " I'm not going." " Why?" "Your brother is doing it." "You've been a real trooper." "Braver than him." "I'd choose you." "Does Henri annoy you?" "Are you okay?" "Still don't love me?" "I never did." "Same here." "I wasn't a very good mother?" "I loved the others a bit." "Less than Abel did." "period." "The two boys..." "I was in love with your sister too." "Maybe I loved Ivan too." "Because he was so damn ugly." " I was an ugly child too." " You?" "No!" "I was." "And me?" " You?" " When I was born..." "I can't remember." "No memories." "Do you have memories of me?" "I remember when your brother died." "What year was that?" "1971 ." "I liked you then." "You were on the veranda." "I came out to sit on your lap." "like velvet." "I climb up..." "I think I liked you then." "You were three." "And afterwards?" " War." " All out." "But I won." "son." " Excuse me." "You have myelodysplasia." "I'm perfectly healthy." "And you need my bone-marrow." "You're so pretentious!" "Paul is compatible too." "the lunatic?" "Are you kidding?" "He's an idiot!" "Says you!" "I'm compatible with lots of people." "I'm a very easy-going woman." "People enjoy my company." "Even a grandson I barely know is compatible." "You're all alone and I'm very popular." "And you may still find other donors." "I don't want that white stuff shot into me." "to boot!" "My blood type may even change." "Want to call Dad and run away?" "Here." "I don't like this stuff." "I wish I made you proud." "I like you as you are." "I am proud." "Of what?" "I fail at everything." "My little Jew." "Why do you say that?" "Because you're my little Jew." "Where it hurts." "Here." "Where it hurts when you bang yourself." "The tip of the radius." "Andrée called it the "little Jew"." "What happened?" "My little Christian went all Jewish." "I have no idea." "Keep your lingering anti-Semitism." "My handsome little Jew!" "I'm the only Catholic in this house." "You're a little Jewish." "man?" "My handsome little Jew." "Are you upset?" "Who's upset?" "Are you bored?" "Terribly." "My bag is in the trunk." "I have to change at some point." "You didn't tell us." "His girlfriend is a bombshell." "Faunia?" "See that ass?" "You did." "You bet!" "It's like Angela Basset's." "Not very observant for a painter." "What do you think?" "About what?" "the kids." "You kidding?" "I want to leave!" "kiddo." "It was hard enough getting you all here." "You're staying put!" "Of course." "Too bad we rarely do this." "Family get-togethers." "You must be joking." "With Henri and Elizabeth..." "I'm caught in a tribal war." "We missed him a lot." "I thought he annoyed you." "He's my brother." "I like him." "What did he do to Elizabeth?" "Modesty forbids me from telling you." "He must have been a monster." "No idea." "right?" "please!" " It's not uncommon." "All brothers try it." "it'd be easier." "Maybe Abel knows something?" "did you sleep with Henri?" "I guess it didn't leave much of a memory." "And my cousin?" " Never." " Are you sure?" "Of course." "Because Abel finds you hot too." "Not at all." "I should know." "A family of weirdos!" "The Vuillards are a strange lot." "Not at all." "We're ordinary people." "Exactly." "You claim to be ordinary." "My father has a dye factory." "And my mother's a housewife." "Grandma even wrote schoolbooks." "She was homosexual." "See?" "Not a leg to stand on." "Elizabeth is ordinary." "Your sister?" "She got the Fields Medal." "Her husband did." "She's written five plays." "That's true." "You all read music." "You all play instruments." "Even my kids write plays." "The Vuillards pretend they're normal and they're not." "That's weird." "I think I'm common." "You have deliciously strange things in some places." "Elizabeth?" "You're not talking?" "please." "I can't stand it. but my beating him up won't help any." "Paul sees the committee tomorrow." "I'll be there." "I think..." "The head of the committee." "I can't remember." "Are you crying?" "It's so humiliating for him." "Do that again and I'll dump you." "I know." "Stop humoring me." "It's true." "I was humoring you." "WHAT IS CUTANEOUS GVH?" "Lyell's Syndrome: death by asphyxiation." "the patient leaves the hospital and is entrusted to a Burn Unit." "It says the host can burn alive." "Let me see." "It's not in French." "It is." "You read too fast." "It's very clear." "They don't say "burn alive"." "They talk about evolving inflammation." "I don't want to evolve like Joan of Arc." "I'd rather die of a nice cancer... than combust in front of you." "Good night." "December 23rd" "REUNITED" "Simon!" "Spat!" "I'm coming." "sonny." "Good to see you." " Health?" " Never better." " Family?" " Cool." "Love life?" "I stayed here." " Can we go in?" " Not really." " Elizabeth's son." " Paul?" "He's not doing well." "And Junon is sick." "I heard that." "So no guests this year." "Give this to Junon." "Is Elizabeth in?" "Give her a kiss." " How's Sylvia?" " Cool." "Coming tonight?" " Where is it?" " The gym." "With Ivan." "sonny." "Girls!" "Presents." "Spatafora." "no doubt." " It's nice of him." " He is nice." "I've been calculating nonstop." "Risk of mortality linked to transplants: 5 to 20%." "Risk of relapse: 15 to 30%." "Probability of recovery:" "between 40 and 50%." "But the risk of acute GVH reaches 50%." "CONSULTATION CHILD PSYCHIATRY" "I won't mention anything." "This is Paul." "Have a seat." "Are you okay?" "Have a seat." "Are you there?" "is Anatole in the cellar?" "He's gone out shopping." "How stupid of me!" "Who's Anatole?" "You're new in the house." "Anatole is the wolf." "He lives in our cellar." "At this time of year he goes skiing." "Who named him Anatole?" "Grandpa and Nana named him Anatole." "He used to live with Rosaimée." "Now he's here." "honey bun..." "With the life you like to lead is a transplant possible?" "I have no idea." "I'm compatible." "Otherwise..." "What's this?" "I can't remember what I wrote." "There's still a tiny chance that Junon's not sick." "You're pessimistic." "Survival increases life expectancy." "This is what you're scared of." "The doctors kill a healthy woman." "She'd lose five years without being sick!" "statistics say you'll get worse." "It's all hypothetical." "You can't keep reasoning in segments." "Counting from one year to another." "Junon is going to die at a precise moment." "Not on an anniversary." "So?" "Getting hurt or dying are absolute events." "You don't die a 10 or 12% death." "You get the entire event." "like it or not." "You either treat it or you don't." "You die or you don't." "You're playing the game." "Go from the discrete to the continuous." "The ratio is not one half." "50% equals 1 minus exponential minus lambda." "the logarithm of 2." "The survival formula is an integral from zero to infinity..." "1.45 years." "No transplant gets you six more months. this increases to... 3.7." "Now... weigh your living five fewer years with its low probability against 2.3 extra years with treatment weighed with a higher probability." " And you get..." " May I?" "Be my guest." "if you're treated you gain about two years." "That's better." "You'd rather pass." "Your only freedom is to bet." "The committee gave their approval." "Paul can be a donor." "Be right back." "Sorry." "You have serious relationship problems." "It's a total downer." "Let's be objective." "Never a kind word for my girlfriends." "I was kicked out." "honey!" "You make Junon cry." "you stupidly fell for a man constantly in flight." "Then you have this child..." "And I learn from Ivan..." "Shut up." "I'm here." "I know but you don't count." "Claude!" "This is stupid." "Sorry!" "off to the Champs-Elysées!" "I'm not staying here." "How noble!" "Henri." "Imperial!" "Where's Faunia?" "Next door." "Keep still." "It's true." "Your son wanted to jump out the window last week." "Your husband arrives then abandons you on a whim." "you send everyone running." "I was almost done!" "Unbelievable!" "This is unbearable!" "Was I disrespectful?" "You hurt everyone..." "Get lost!" "you're throwing your life away." "I'm not so sure." "I drank." "Do as you please." "I won't survive." "I'm totally wasted." "Want to know my shortcomings?" "They're all over." "Want to see my first communion?" "My first school fight?" "Sorry but the holiday is a disaster." "My sister treats me like shit!" "Junon's off to the hospital in three days." "You'll come at a happier time beat it." "Take my car keys and get lost." "What was she like?" "Who?" "The one who did this." "Madeleine." "What was she like?" "I think." "Did she ever come here?" "She never had the time." "I was starving." "Make me a coffee?" " Leave me alone." " Are you crying?" "I'm not crying." "Three weeks ago there was no treatment." "Solitude and disease." "I break my back to get everyone here." "Even Henri came." "He's compatible." "Your son is compatible." "And she acts like a princess." "but no skin rashes!" "It's infuriating." "I married her because she was brave." "I don't care." "You're all terrified?" "Why?" "At worst she rejects the transplant." "It can be a lot worse. replacing it with a growing hybrid." "not your mother." "A chimera." "tail of a snake." "That's GVH." "It's born in the host and takes control." "It can be beneficial it will hate the organism. its nerves." "Anything." " Who taught you all that?" " Butt out." "it dies with your cadaver." "Where is she?" "How should I know?" "a yoga class..." "Who is she with?" "She disappeared." "On a whim." " I'll find her." " There's no point." "We fought all night." "She's as stubborn as an ox!" "She's decided to go untreated." "Very grim." "I'll be an hour." "I'll wait in town." "I'll walk around." "Be careful." "I mean it." "I see something." "Here's a nodule." "Mr. Vuillard." "Two packs a day and I can stop whenever I want." "a lot." "it shows." "Is it a problem?" "For the transplant it'll do." "It's risky for you." "I'm not addicted." "I'll go cold turkey." "I don't give a shit." "You may get the DTs during the operation." "You're not in good shape." "Gimme the damn form." "I thought I'd go shopping in Lille." "Want to come along?" "I prefer not to speak." "I have limited contact with my family." "I'd prefer even less with those of my lovers." "Okay." "Is your disease serious?" "Yes and no." "The downside is I can die." "Do you have the organ donor form?" "I lost it." "It has to be filled out and signed." "I get a bit confused." "I have no idea what to give you." "I'm not giving presents." "I'd prefer not to get any." " Why not?" " I'm Jewish." "You're not giving anyone anything?" "Not the kids?" "Not me?" "Not even Henri?" "It's time you told me what you did to make Elizabeth hate you." "What can I say?" "No idea." "I never saw it coming." "I was obnoxious from five to 17." "I was born that way." "Come on!" "You surely did something." "There was the thing with the babysitter." "I was helping her watch Paul." "One thing led to another and we soon lost track of the time." "screwing the girl in the dining room." "No big deal!" "So why cut me out for six years?" "You don't like Sylvia..." "Why not?" "She took my baby boy." "But you like me." "Why?" "You took the one I don't like." "I often wondered what he was like in bed." "Henri?" "He likes you." "You know him." "He's very enthusiastic." "Perfect." "That's pretty." "Does this make me look old?" "I have a fat derriere." "You look like Angela Basset." "In six years you never asked her?" "Never curious?" "One day" "Elizabeth told Junon about a letter you'd written." "Since when do I write letters?" "I can't say more." "Everyone always said:" "Maybe Henri wrote her a letter." "Saying what?" "I don't know." "Unforgivable things." "Never." "That's ridiculous." "Last week I wrote to put her in her place." "It was a first." "Why is this here?" "What sin have you invented for me?" "I just wanted everyone to be happy." "Some things are valuable." "Sell them." "When do you leave?" "I'm not welcome here." "I can hear Henri's laughter. four out of six chambers loaded." "Henri gloats about being on the verge of killing her." "It's strange." "One day I decided to break with him in order to protect myself and my child." "Then Paul went crazy." "My husband and I blamed ourselves. that he's the disease." "Can I help you?" "I was with a woman earlier." "Have you seen her?" "She's already left." "Henri?" "Are you there?" "I knew you'd never forgive me." "I accepted the cost." "To build a more harmonious world for my son and husband." "I knew that one day" "I'd have to go to my parents' funeral and you wouldn't shake my hand." "I thought we'd go no further than hatred sealed over a grave." "But there was worse." "Today I can imagine you at my mother's grave boasting about the transplant." "Abel will not forbid his son to attend the ceremony." "I will not blame him for it." "I will not manage to quell my anger." "I will have to run away." "But the thief was you." "You will have deprived me of Junon's funeral." "You've stolen my entire life." "For six years you've accepted this incredible thing:" "that Elizabeth lays down the law." "How could you accept something so absurd? for everyone." "she'll calm down." "Bullshit!" "These things never calm down!" "You and Abel anointed her paterfamilias and she went crazy." "So deal with it." "Was it before or after my wife died? was it before or after Madeleine died?" "of course." "I figured that's the way she was." "Papa. it was that day in court when she paid off my debts that I knew she hated my guts." "It all went bad with Elizabeth." "I never knew what to do." "It's terribly sad to see these hatreds." "as usual." "but not me." "I'm an interventionist." "You?" "You're kidding!" "You run around all concerned and helpful." "Elizabeth and Junon took care of everything." "No one has a clue!" "Henri." "They did what they could." "the whole lot." "we'll understand." "Nonsense!" ""Some day we'll understand." " What does he mean?" " Poor Henri." "How could I have been so blind?" "I got trampled on." "I wasn't paying attention." "The transplant is on January 1st." "Henri will be the donor." "Okay." "You want me to tell him?" "please." "I went shopping." "with your mother." "She vanished." "Not very talkative." "Don't take Henri's marrow." "He's dangerous." "transplants are." "You can't refuse me Paul." "I was terrified." "he could barely read." "He was ashamed to show me his report card." "Finally a door opens and he's fit for something." "Your son is fragile." "Don't involve him with my disease." "Don't have the transplant." "You have no symptoms." "I'll have leukemia." "My bones will start breaking like glass." "Henri comes from my womb." "I'm taking back what's mine." "Man alone." "Don't dream." "You have no family." "I remember as a child the priests told us about grace." "Henri's despair has brought only unhappiness." "I've tried to be full of joy." "You were a good daughter." "I needed your admiration too much." "Men have never counted for me." "My son has been a stranger." "I'll come help you." "kid." "Come on." "Thank you." "For what?" "I didn't buy any presents." "I don't know what you like." "I wanted to thank you." "I had to give my marrow." "Now you do." "My parents don't want me to." "That's perfect." "so it's my business." "right?" "so you shouldn't thank me." "I wasn't scared of the pain." "I couldn't care less!" "I wasn't scared." "You've failed at nothing." "Let's go bother Anatole." "I'm 16." "Sorry." "Force of habit!" "Is she your mother?" "She's Andrée's lady friend." "That's her." "Andrée." "My mama." " Why is she here?" " To see you." " Who is she?" " Rosaimée." "Andrée's companion." "Come and give me a kiss!" "When your daddy was a little boy" "Rosaimée and Andrée both adored him." "He was the favorite?" "Yes." "So Rosaimée likes to see you." "Good evening." "I'm Spatafora." "I know who you are." "For reading in bed." "It's a flashlight." "hurry up!" "Don't play with the fireworks!" "look!" "Remember when you played the promise-game with me?" "Sun and moon would have died if ever you lost your Sweeney!" "Champagne?" "I love to see the children." "Look at your husband." "He's always been devoted." "What's Simon doing on the veranda?" "Cleaning up." "Why isn't he out here with us?" "Over the years he's changed so much." "He was so sharp before." "Before what?" "We always figured you'd end up together." "Me and who?" "You and Simon!" "Before he gave you to his cousin." "he was so funny." "Ivan was the most delicate." "Henri was angry with the world." "Simon was the happiest." "he became sad." "Gave up on me?" "running all over!" "He's fulfilled." "So healthy!" "You always look so healthy." "Henri wasn't right for you either." "The three boys made the right choice for you." "They never told me." "Class act!" "Beer?" "Joseph?" "I met all three of them on the same day." "Ivan was pathologically shy." "he was shaking all over." "I didn't know I could do that." "Or that someone could find me pretty." "A man loved me to death." "very sensible." "swamped by girlfriends." "I was shocked." "It was delightful." "as with every girl." "I thought Simon was indifferent." "He was arrogant." "So much charm and so many choices." "Ivan was ill." "I was able to save his life." "Marriage made a man of him." "Rosaimée told me you passed on me." "What did she say?" "When did it happen?" "What do you mean?" "I want details." "She mentioned a decision you all made." "Tell me where and when." "Was it here?" "1991." "At the community center." "You were next door." "I remember." "Is Ivan aware of this?" "It's history." "Was Ivan with you?" "Or did you and Henri decide our fate behind his back?" "Ivan was there." "What did you say?" "Henri and I were talking about you." "Guy talk." "smiling." "Then he said:" "If I don't get her." "I'll never get over it." "What did you reply?" "I can't remember." " "She's right for you."" " Exactly!" "The exact word!" "she's yours." "like a camel or a goat." "I didn't give you." "I was 27." "An idiot." "I was hollow." "Still am." "Did you love me?" "Yes." "Do you love me?" "Yes." "Scumbag!" "You're part of the game." "you played." "I was right." "Ivan loved you infinitely." "It's your love that was infinite." "You played my hand and you cheated." "Now I'll never know my life." "It's not mine." "I wasn't free to prefer Ivan." " Henri was there too." " It's not the same." "You really love me." "and got it." "For 10 years you've had no life." "You're pathetic in your studio." "You don't talk." "You're sad. avoiding my kids." "clinging to the Vuillards." "You never got over me." "December 24th" "THE PHANTOM" "I wondered if you could have saved Joseph." "But you came too late." "radiant with health and you who'll never know who you are." "Some snow here." "right?" "A little." "in the background." "What can I say?" "all he did was die." "he was very touching." "Running around the house." "Then we found out he had cancer." "You couldn't tell at first." "Then it was the hospital with his father." "It was Abel who really knew him. the other in Paris under a plastic tent in a sterile room." "And pregnant with the third!" "Joseph was very abstract." "my mother." "You'll be buried with Joseph?" "I'll be over there." "But your son died in February." "but I don't like anniversaries." "it's empty here. yet to Victory I am born." "For 30 years we never knew who gave Joseph leukemia." "it was my wife." "You said I'd last three hours." "It's been two days." "You're a real saint." "You're leaving?" "On the sly." "Be right back." "Safe trip." "Do you have a pen?" "Hurry up!" "Faunia doesn't like Christians." "She won't take part in any Christmas. where they will celebrate a non-holiday:" "no presents or music." "Everyone will read his paper." "Give Isaac a kiss from me." "You'll be drinking human blood?" "Often at midnight we eat a newborn or crucify ourselves in the garden." "not much." "Cheat on me and you die." "My friend..." "My friend." "A DRAMA" "This Christmas is really not a success." "I hate being a bad host." " I love your house." " It's yours too." "Listen to me!" "I'm thrilled to be your guest!" "What about my ticket?" "I don't pay." "I'm in the show." "look!" "Did you go downstairs last night?" "Are you sleeping well?" "I have become a light sleeper." "I wanted a bottle of water." "Do I use too much cologne?" "Am I too made up?" "You're fine." "Did you learn your lines?" "It's going to be very improvised." " I'm ready." " I'm ready." "Anyone there?" "Occupied!" "Where are you going?" "To wrap presents for my nephews." "The show's about to begin." "Don't give Paul a gift." "I'd prefer you didn't speak to him." "Why?" "Am I not a funny uncle?" "You can fool the others." "Not me." "I can see you thinking..." "I'll go." " You're very pretty." " An old toad." "You smell like Italy." "Just in time!" " Elizabeth doesn't know?" " Not yet." "You're trying to remember the trespasses I committed and you've forgotten!" "That's the catch." "and that's me." "And you don't dare ask." "idiot!" "You can't even help your mother." "I can." "Your son can." "You're too scared to use his." "Don't involve Paul." "I've changed my mind!" "My marrow has a price!" "Pay up!" "Your turn." "I want Abel to tell his saintly daughter to piss off. no one cared." "Now it's your turn." "not yours!" "Or else I'll keep it." "Then what?" "Then it's up to your wacko son!" "Go tell that to Junon!" "A Christmas play by Basile and Baptiste Vuillard." "With musical accompaniment by Ivan and Abel Vuillard." "Once upon a time there was a brother and sister." "The prince's name was Zorro." "One day his sister the princess said:" "you must leave the castle." "You stole from the peasants!" "Wicked knight!" "What did you do?" "your ears would bleed." "So we'll torture you!" "Prince Zorro!" " Mercy!" "You won!" "I did two months." "No hard feelings." "Prison's underrated. met some really great guys." "Two months isn't a bad price." "You're a basket case!" "I confess!" "I slept with a nanny goat." "He slept with a nanny goat!" "You made your sister and your family cry." "Don't give a shit!" "what have you decided?" "I think we must know how to forgive." "Grand Prince." "give me your arm." "They cut off his arm and then he was nice till his dying day." "this is for you." "I gave the envelopes to your wife." "For you and your wife." "Some money." "For your family: three wads." "Simon." "You're the best." "This is for you." "For your uncle." "A gift." "What is it?" "From Mom." "How nice." "Henri." "Poor boy..." "Something to drink?" "Henri broke the sweet silence of the meal." "His hysterics had sufficed till then." "No need for rudeness." "Henri raised his glass." "As the Duc d'Orléans evoked without naming insane enemies:" "a toast to the health of the cunt-captain and the cunt-lieutenant." "the lieutenant for Elizabeth." "Henri sat back down and said nothing more." "Saint-Simon." "Good riddance." "Henri wore me out tonight." "Gently." "Turn on the light." "Eureka!" "What is it?" "Paul's medicine." "Your grandson's." "He'll be out like a baby till noon." "What the hell?" "Why not use the stairs?" "Where did you come from?" "Where are you going?" "Midnight mass." "I'll join you." "It's almost midnight!" "Are you coming to mass?" "honey?" "Who's coming along?" "My coat!" "Benjamin..." "I'm Baptiste." "I already told you." "See you later." "When is Jesus going to come?" "I dunno." "Maybe midnight." "Sure of Your love strengthened by our faith we pray to You the Son and the Holy Ghost... you should go to bed." "We're waiting for Jesus." "But Jesus never existed!" "We'll wait anyway." "We want to see him." "It's been years." "I love this." "A light hath shined." "Unto us a child is born." "Unto us a son is given." "The government shall be upon his shoulder." "His name shall be" "Everlasting Father..." "Then Joseph brings his son to be circumcised." " The presentation in the Temple?" " Not at all. which wipes out Original Sin." " You were praying before." " A little." "It's still snowing." "What a beautiful walk!" "Simon's not with you?" "He went to join you." "Holy shit!" "We'll go and check the cafés." "Put the boys to bed." " Where are you going?" " It's Simon." "Must be in some bar." "What's the problem?" "Simon shouldn't go out drinking." "He gets into fights." "Take my keys." "Be careful!" "Want a drink?" "You've had enough." "That's my business." "The same thing." " You'll be sorry." " It'll be your fault." "Another chaser." "Me too." "I don't have much to say." "I'm a little scared." "What did you do?" "When?" "When you lost me?" "What did I do all these years?" "I tried to be part of your world." "You used to be real bad." " How so?" " Embarrassingly so." "Don't do that." "I have no regrets." "It's great you're with Ivan." "You both get by on so little." "You deserve more." "Seeing you from afar I'd think:" "they're lucky..." "Be quiet." "My life is a prison." "What I do has no value." "It's stupid." "The meaning of what I do is bound up in you." "Without you it's empty." "I was a fuck-up." "I live for you." "wake up for you." "But I paint for myself." "I can continue." "Continue what?" "Shaking when I see you." "Getting snubbed by you." "Things lose their meaning." "I'll go in the back." "At first I felt something was wrong." "I couldn't understand what." "I stopped wondering." "Today I love Ivan." "then it came back." "Look." "As handsome as ever." "I'm your ugly lover." "You're not my lover." "Technically." "No way will I do it in a car!" "Chicken-shit." "You found Simon for us." " Everyone's asleep?" " It's 4:00 a.m." "Need any help?" "I prefer to clean up alone." "So leave me alone!" "See you tomorrow." "I wonder where they'll be sleeping." "It's none of our business." " You were with the model for a while." " Two years." "Were you jealous?" "I was better than her." "But you loved her?" "She was tall!" "I was bored." "money." "It was sad." "December 25th" "JUBILATIONS" "look!" "It's snowing!" "It's snowing!" "It's snowing outside!" "I'm hungry." "Where's Mommy?" "Mommy... came back really late." "She didn't want to wake us." "Where is she?" "Come here." "She's... probably in your uncle's room." "Can we make breakfast?" "I'll make the tea!" "Wait for me." "My boys!" "I made the tea by myself!" "The coffee's for Simon." "We didn't need Daddy's help." "How sweet." "We woke up Daddy." "It's snowing." "What's that?" "Weights." "it's funny." "We have the same gene." "which tends to prove I'm Junon's son." "Which is pretty strange." "You didn't think you were her son?" "She and I aren't too close." "I preferred to imagine my father sleeping with other women. or in situ or in vitro." "I'm no specialist in that field." "It's pretty confusing." "But it seems I came out of Junon." "fights are easy." "I know I'll lose." "Have mirrors ever freaked you out?" "How so?" "My reflection persecutes me." "What do you see?" "a black dog." "But it wasn't real." "Just the image of a dog." "And once my reflection stared at me in a vicious way." "Taking your meds?" "It only happened twice and I hope that's it." "why you're not well!" "You think you're crazy because of the myelodysplasia." "It's your mother who conceived you in grief." "Elizabeth is melancholic." "She's the bored one." "Not you!" "Paul." "Rejoice!" "What are you thinking?" "Nothing." "in the same parking lot." "idiot." "And you asked me." "Do something." "You're doing nothing and I can't work." "Now I forgot where I was." "Take a book and read." "Any book." "I can't." "it's a mitzvah." "You sound like Henri." "Why keep the dye factory?" "Why not find something better?" "Dying fabric is just fine." "Why am I always sad?" "Is it normal?" "I wasn't always sad." "It's a real question." "What did I lose?" "Your brother." "Papa..." "Listen. remain unknown to ourselves with good reason:" "we have never sought ourselves." "How should we some day find ourselves?" "Our treasure is to be found in the beehives of knowledge. our hearts are set on one thing:" "bringing something home... as for life who among us takes them seriously?" "Who has the time?" "...who hears the clock striking twelve asks himself:" "'What did the clock just strike?" "' we rub our ears after the fact surprised:" "'What have we experienced?" "' to count back over the twelve strokes and lose count in the process." "We are unknown to ourselves." "We do not understand ourselves. we are not seekers of knowledge." "You don't know me." "I'm not like that." "In the evening" "FAREWELLS" "Thanks for Paul." "Sylvia!" "Why is Paul staying here?" "I invented Ivan by living with him." "I'll invent you by not." "Why is Paul staying here?" " Because what?" " Just because." "You and Simon will help Abel at work tomorrow." "Henri Misery!" " Why do you call me that?" " I don't know." "You always used to complain." "Belly aches." "Henri Misery." "Dreaming?" "About my mother." "Don't come along." "Henri will drop me off." "Did you hear me?" "Go to work." "Need a light?" "You shouldn't be drinking." "It's general anesthetic." "Does it hurt?" "Here I go." "Attaboy..." "Keep quiet." "Out like a light." "really hard." "I keep pushing and twisting..." "BLOOD DISEASES STERILE SECTOR" "I'm the nurse taking care of you today." "I brought your medicine." "What is it?" "An immunosuppressor." "I brought your clothes." "Shall I put them in the closet?" "I'll put them on the bed." "See you soon." "Mrs. Vuillard's bone marrow." "Can you open it?" "I'll take it." "please." "The cell count is 165." "We have it." "You are Mrs. Junon Vuillard?" "Very good." "Ready?" "I'll do it." "Perfect." "Excellent." "There's a lot of it." "We'll leave you." "Buzz if you need me." "I'll be back later." "Mr. Vuillard?" "You just woke up." "The procedure went well." "What did you do with my marrow?" "We filtered it in the lab." "Are you in pain?" "Stay put." "I'll give you Temgesic." "babe." "It's your health." "Here." "My clothes." "What room?" "Here." "It's a sterile environment." "Here's your son." "How are you doing?" "I'll put you here." "Here's a chair." "I'll leave you two." "Am I bothering you?" "I woke up." "My body can't stand you." "I'm rejecting everything from you." "I hope it doesn't hurt." "Good." "I feel like I was punched in the back." "The procedure?" "Look at this." "And this." "Hurts like hell!" "They stole our stuff." "Want to play?" "Heads." "Wait!" "Go on!" "a hundred memories flooding my mind." "Claude's chest when he was 20 and looked 16." "whispering to me:" "I'm Pegasus!" "brothers and Simon playing in the garden." "Junon will get better." "The transplant will take." "I'm not scared of death." "I now live in the world made by my son." "think but this:" "all you have done is to sleep." "And everything will be mended."

"WELL, I HAD A WONDERFUL TIME." "SO DID I." "YOU'RE THE BEST DATE I EVER HAD." "REALLY?" "YES." "CAN I COME IN?" "OH, NO." "WELL, CAN I SEE YOU AGAIN?" "I'D LIKE THAT." "CAN I HAVE A KISS?" "OF COURSE." "NO, WHOA, WHOA, WAIT A MINUTE!" "I BOUGHT YOU DINNER." "YOU CANNOT BUY LOVE." "I ALREADY LOVE YOU" "BUT NOT BECAUSE YOU BOUGHT ME DINNER." "SEE, I LIKE THE WAY" "YOU BEG." "BEG?" "YES." "NOW." "REALLY?" "AND TALK SLOW." "RUDY:" "MOMMY?" "WHY IS SHE STILL UP?" "I DON'T KNOW." "THAT'S YOUR CHILD, NOT MINE." "DON'T COME IN." "WHAT DO YOU MEAN?" "I'M SUPPOSED TO TELL GRANDPA WHEN YOU'RE COMING." "WELL, WE'RE COMING." "NO!" "DON'T WAKE HIM UP." "CAN I SAY GOOD NIGHT TO GRANDPA?" "IF YOU DON'T WAKE HIM." "RUDY, COME ON." "GOOD NIGHT, RUDY." "GOOD NIGHT, DADDY." "AND I DIDN'T EVEN BUY HER DINNER." "YOU CAN'T SLEEP OUT IN THE PARK, SIR." "THERE YOU GO." "WHEN DID YOU SLIP IN?" "WE JUST GOT IN." "I JUST CLOSED MY EYES FOR A SECOND." "THIS SOFA WILL DO IT EVERY TIME." "YOU KNOW, YOU'RE RIGHT." "WELL, I BETTER GET GOING." "NO, WHY DON'T YOU STAY?" "I DON'T WANT YOUR MOTHER TO WORRY." "ALL RIGHT." "NOW, LOOK-- SATURDAY, UNDERSTOOD?" "YOUR MOTHER AND I DON'T WANT A FUSS." "AFTER 48 ANNIVERSARIES, THE 49TH IS NO BIG DEAL." "I UNDERSTAND." "KEEP IT SIMPLE." "ALTHOUGH NOT SO SIMPLE AS TO DISAPPOINT THE CHILDREN." "THEY'RE REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS." "THE CHILDREN?" "YEAH" "THEY'RE LOOKING FORWARD" "TO EATING AT THE DINING ROOM TABLE" "AND EATING OFF THE GOOD DISHES." "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA" "WHAT THE CHILDREN WOULD LIKE TO EAT FOR DINNER?" "VEAL." "VEAL!" "ANY PARTICULAR SAUCE YOU THINK THE CHILDREN WOULD LIKE?" "THEY LOVE BING CHERRY SAUCE." "YOU'RE RIGHT." "AND LYONNAISE POTATOES." "THAT'S WHAT THEY SAID TO ME!" "DO YOU THINK THEY'LL WANT DESSERT?" "MAYBE A CAKE" "FROM ONE OF THOSE NICE GERMAN BAKERIES." "I DON'T BELIEVE YOU!" "THE OTHER DAY, WE WENT TO A BAKERY" "AND THE CHILDREN MASHED THEIR LITTLE FACES UP" "AND THEY SAID, "THAT CAKE IS ALL WE WANT FOR SATURDAY."" "CHOCOLATE CAKE!" "ARE YOU SURE THEY WEREN'T LOOKING AT A LINZER TORTE" "WITH A VERY THIN LAYER OF RASPBERRY JAM?" "I THINK YOU'RE RIGHT." "I THINK THAT'S WHAT IT WAS." "NOW, DO YOU THINK THAT, AFTER DINNER" "THE CHILDREN WOULD ENJOY A NICE, HAND-ROLLED CIGAR?" "IMPORTED." "YOU KNOW MY CHILDREN BETTER THAN I DO." "ALL RIGHT, DAD." "HERE'S THE RECIPE FOR VEAL IN A BING CHERRY SAUCE." "CAN WE MAKE IT LIKE GRANDMA?" "I'LL BE HAPPY IF WE GET CLOSE." "TONIGHT'S DINNER WILL HAVE BING CHERRY SAUCE" "THE LAST BUNCH IN THE STORE!" "WAY TO GO, MOM!" "HEY, YOU..." "OH, CHERRIES!" "IF ONE GOES INTO YOUR MOUTH" "I'M COMING IN AFTER IT." "WE'RE COOKING THE MEAL FOR GRANDMA AND GRANDPA." "I'M SURE YOU GIRLS WILL DO A GREAT JOB." "I MEAN ALL OF US." "I DON'T COOK." "YOU SHOULD LEARN." "WHY?" "YOU'RE GOING TO LEAVE THIS HOUSE ONE DAY." "I'LL HAVE MY GIRLFRIEND COOK." "WHERE DID YOU GET THIS ATTITUDE?" "COCKROACH." "ALL:" "OH, COCKROACH!" "WE DECIDED WE'RE ONLY GOING TO DATE GIRLS WHO COOK." "WOMEN HAVE BETTER THINGS TO DO THAN TO COOK." "THAT'S BECAUSE THE WOMEN OF TODAY" "HAVEN'T MET THE MAN OF TOMORROW." "CLAIR." "CLAIR!" "HI." "I SAW THE PORTRAIT" "OF MY MOTHER AND FATHER" "AND IT'S FANTASTIC." "THEY ARE GOING TO BE SO SURPRISED." "THE PAINTING IS FROM THE FAMILY." "I GOT SOMETHING FROM YOU AND ME." "THAT'S SO SWEET-- WHAT IS IT?" "SOMETIMES I REALLY AMAZE MYSELF." "WHAT IS IT?" "HERE IT IS." "LOOK AT THAT." "CLIFF!" "SEE, I AMAZED YOU." "A CRUISE TO EUROPE?" "THAT'S RIGHT, A CRUISE TO EUROPE" "LISBON, AMSTERDAM, MONTE CARLO." "WHEN THEY GET THIS" "THEY'RE GOING TO BRONZE THE SHOES YOU'RE WEARING NOW." "I BOOKED AN OPEN PASSAGE" "SO THEY CAN TAKE THE CRUISE" "ANY TIME THEY WANT." "CRUISE?" "YEAH." "WHAT ABOUT THE PORTRAIT?" "THE PORTRAIT IS FROM THE WHOLE FAMILY" "BUT THE CRUISE IS FROM YOUR MOM AND ME." "PRETTY GOOD, DAD." ""PRETTY GOOD, DAD."" "CAN YOU DO ANY BETTER?" "IF IT WAS UP TO ME, I'D SEND THEM TO NAIROBI." "NAIROBI?" "WE'VE BEEN STUDYING ABOUT IT." "YOU GOT YOUR GREAT MUSIC, YOUR GREAT PEOPLE" "AND IN THE SPRING, YOU CAN SEE THE MATING OF THE WILDEBEESTS." "MATING OF THE WILDEBEESTS." "GRANDPA AND GRANDMA SHOULD SEE THEM BEFORE THEY'RE EXTINCT." "GRANDMA AND GRANDPA?" "NO, THE WILDEBEESTS!" "OH, OKAY." "NAIROBI IS A WONDERFUL IDEA" "BUT I ALREADY BOOKED THE CRUISE TO EUROPE." "MAYBE WE CAN SAVE NAIROBI FOR SOMETHING ELSE." "WELL, COULD IT MAYBE BE MY HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATION GIFT?" "NO, I'M SORRY." "YOUR MOTHER AND I ALREADY BOUGHT YOU A TIE." "CLIFF:" "COME ON, INSIDE." "WE'RE NOT FINISHED." "I HAVE SAUCE ON THE STOVE." "ALL I WANT TO DO IS GO OVER THE SIGNAL AGAIN." "WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS THREE TIMES ALREADY." "WE'RE EATING-- SANDRA SAYS:" ""WHY DON'T WE ALL GO INTO THE LIVING ROOM?"" "THEN WE GET READY FOR THE ENTERTAINMENT." "ALL:" "YEAH!" "OKAY." "NOW, RUDY, WHAT IS THE SIGNAL?" ""WHY DON'T WE ALL GO IN THE LIVING ROOM?"" "AFTER THE ENTERTAINMENT, I'LL GET THE PRESENT." "NOW, DO ME A FAVOR." "WE DON'T WANT TO SAY ANYTHING ABOUT EUROPE" "BECAUSE IT'S A SURPRISE." "( DOORBELL RINGS )" "THEY'RE HERE!" "ALL:" "HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!" "SORRY WE'RE LATE" "BUT I HAD A LITTLE TROUBLE" "FINDING THE PLACE." "WHAT?" "I WAS LOOKING FOR BALLOONS." "HUSH UP, RUSSELL." "LET ME LOOK AT YOU." "YOU ARE TRULY" "THE MOST BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN IN THE WORLD." "LET'S SEE IF GRANDDAD HAS ANY MONEY FOR YOU." "NO" " THE CHILDREN GIVE TO YOU TONIGHT." "DID YOU GO AGAINST MY WISHES AND GET US A GIFT?" "MY LIPS ARE SEALED." "MINE, TOO." "DADDY SENT YOU ON A BOAT." "WHAT?" ". SHH!" "RUDY!" "IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE A SURPRISE." "I DIDN'T SAY "EUROPE."" "AND THIS IS WHAT YOUR CABIN LOOKS LIKE." "HOW MUCH DID THIS SET YOU BACK?" "I'M NOT TELLING YOU." "HOW LONG IS THIS CRUISE?" "THREE WEEKS." "WE'LL HAVE TO LOCK UP THE HOUSE." "WE COULD HELP..." "THEN THERE'S THE MAIL." "I'LL PICK THAT UP FOR YOU." "AND SOMEBODY HAS TO WATER THE PLANTS." "I'D BETTER EMPTY THE REFRIGERATOR." "WE JUST BOUGHT SOME GROCERIES." "DAD, MOM, WE'RE NOT SAYING" "THAT YOU HAVE TO LEAVE RIGHT AFTER DINNER." "NO, SEE, THIS IS "OPEN PASSAGE."" "ANY TIME YOU'RE READY TO GO" "YOU JUST CALL THIS NUMBER." "WHAT DO YOU DO IN THE MIDDLE OF THE OCEAN?" "WELL, THERE'S DANCING LESSONS, AND BINGO, AND SHUFFLE BOARD." "THOSE ARE THINGS THAT OLD PEOPLE DO." "YOU WON'T BE ON THE SHIP THE WHOLE TIME." "YOU'RE STOPPING IN LISBON, AMSTERDAM, MONTE CARLO." "WELL, WE DON'T KNOW ANYBODY THERE." "DAD" "WE DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH MONEY" "FOR ALL YOUR FRIENDS." "WE JUST WANT" "THE TWO OF YOU TO HAVE A GREAT TIME." "BUT I'VE BEEN TO EUROPE" "AND I WASN'T VERY FOND OF IT." "YEAH, BECAUSE IT WAS 1943" "AND YOU WERE RUNNING ALONGSIDE OF A TANK, DAD." "THE PLACE WAS A MESS." "BUT I THINK THEY BUILT IT UP SINCE THEN, DAD." "I KNOW IT'S LOVELY" "BUT SINCE YOUR FATHER'S ALREADY BEEN THERE" "MAYBE A CRUISE TO EUROPE ISN'T RIGHT FOR US." "ARE YOU SAYING YOU DON'T WANT TO GO?" "THAT'S WHAT WE'RE SAYING." "SO, YOU DON'T WANT" "TO GO TO EUROPE." "WHAT ABOUT, UH..." "NAIROBI?" "NAIROBI HAS WONDERFUL PEOPLE." "THE MUSIC..." "AND IF YOU GO UP THE RIVER AT THE RIGHT TIME" "YOU CAN SEE THE MATING OF THE WILDEBEESTS." "NOW, WHY WOULD I WANT TO SEE WILDEBEESTS?" "WELL, BECAUSE" "THEY MAY BECOME EXTINCT." "IF THEY'RE MATING, HOW CAN THEY BECOME EXTINCT?" "ASK THEO." "WE APPRECIATE YOUR OFFER" "BUT YOUR MOTHER AND I ARE VERY HAPPY AT HOME." "WE GET GREAT RECEPTION ON THE TELEVISION" "AND WHEN I OPEN THE DOOR IN THE MORNING" "THERE'S MY NEWSPAPER." "RUSSELL MAY NOT BE ABLE TO GET OATMEAL IN MONTE CARLO." "YES, HE WILL." "IT'S CALLED PORRIDGE." "CHILDREN, YOU DID A LOVELY JOB" "FROM START TO FINISH." "EVERYTHING WAS DELICIOUS." "CHILDREN:" "THANK YOU." "CLAIR:" "THEO!" "YOU'VE HAD TWO PIECES." "THAT'S GRANDMA AND GRANDPA'S CAKE." "LET HIM HAVE ANOTHER PIECE." "TAKE THAT BIG ONE." "THAT'S THE PIECE I WANTED." "I'LL SPLIT IT WITH YOU, DAD." "NO, THEO, YOU EAT IT." "DON'T TAKE FOOD OUT OF A GROWING BOY'S MOUTH." "HE TAKES IT OUT OF OURS." "YOU COULD STAND TO LOOSEN UP A LITTLE" "AROUND YOUR CHILDREN." "CHILDREN:" "YEAH!" "YOUR FATHER'S RIGHT, HEATHCLIFF." "CHILDREN NEED TO EXPRESS THEMSELVES FREELY." "CHILDREN:" "YEAH!" "WHY DON'T YOU GO HOME?" "I DON'T REMEMBER THE TWO OF YOU EVER BEING HAPPY" "WHEN I "EXPRESSED MYSELF."" "WHEN YOU EXPRESSED YOURSELF" "WE GOT CALLS FROM THE NEIGHBORS." "WHY DON'T WE MOVE INTO THE LIVING ROOM?" "THE LIVING ROOM!" "GRANDPA:" "WHAT'S GOING ON?" "DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT." "RUDY:" "COME ON!" "WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?" "CLIFF:" "YOU SIT DOWN THERE." "WE HAVE PUT TOGETHER" "A FORM OF ENTERTAINMENT FOR YOU." "WE HAVE A RECORD" "AND WE'RE GOING TO PERFORM FOR YOU." "AFTER 49 YEARS OF MARRIAGE" "PERHAPS YOU NEED A LITTLE ROMANTIC INSPIRATION." "OKAY, NOW, HERE WE GO." "( BLUES MUSIC )" "( LIP-SYNCHING )" "* YOU KNOW, THE NIGHTTIME, NOW" "* WAH DO DAY" "* IS THE RIGHT TIME" "* WAH DO DAY" "* TO BE" "* WAH DO DAY" "* WITH THE ONE YOU LOVE, NOW" "* WAH DO DAY" "* AND I KNOW, BABY" "* WAH DO DAY" "* NOW, COME ON, BABY" "* WAH DO DAY" "* I WANT TO BE THE ONE YOU LOVE, NOW" "* WAH DO DAY" "* YOU KNOW WHAT I'M THINKING OF" "* WAH DO DAY" "* I KNOW, THE NIGHTTIME" "* WAH DO DAY" "* OH, IS THE RIGHT TIME" "* WAH DO DAY" "* TO BE WITH THE ONE YOU LOVE." "* WAH DO DAY" "* I SAID, TO BE WITH THE ONE YOU LOVE" "* WAH DO DAY" "* OH..." "* SING YOUR SONG!" "* BABY!" "* WAH DO DAY" "* BABY!" "* WAH DO DAY" "* BABY!" "* WAH DO DAY" "* OH, BABY!" "* WAH DO DAY" "* YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU" "* WAH DO DAY" "* LORD ABOVE YOU" "* WAH DO DAY" "* HOLD ME TIGHT, NOW" "* WAH DO DAY" "* MAKE EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT" "* WAH DO DAY" "* BECAUSE THE NIGHTTIME" "* WAH DO DAY" "* IS THE RIGHT TIME" "* WAH DO DAY" "* TO BE WITH THE ONE YOU LOVE, NOW" "* WAH DO DAY" "* OH, YEAH, NOW." "* WAH DO DAY" "* I SAID, BABY" "* WAH DO DAY" "* BABY!" "* WAH DO DAY" "* BABY!" "* WAH DO DAY" "* OH, BABY!" "* WAH DO DAY" "* OH, COME ON, BABY" "* WAH DO DAY" "* YOU KNOW I WANT YOU BY MY SIDE" "* WAH DO DAY" "* I WANT YOU TO KEEP..." "* WAH DO DAY" "* OH, KEEP ME SATISFIED" "* WAH DO DAY" "* I KNOW, THE NIGHTTIME" "* WAH DO DAY" "* EVERY DAY IS THE RIGHT TIME" "* WAH DO DAY" "* YEAH, TO BE WITH THE ONE YOU LOVE" "* WAH DO DAY" "* WELL, YOU KNOW I'M RIGHT" "YEAH, YEAH. *" "( COMMOTION )" "QUICK, QUICK, QUICK!" "THE WHOLE FAMILY CHIPPED IN" "TO GET THIS FOR YOU." "A LONG TIME AGO" "IN DURHAM, NORTH CAROLINA" "AT A GRAND BALL" "A YOUNG TRUMPET PLAYER" "WHILE WORKING IN THE BANDSTAND, LOOKING AT THE DANCERS" "SAW THIS BEAUTIFUL YOUNG LADY NAMED ANNA" "AND ON A BREAK" "HE CAME OVER TO HER" "AND HE ASKED HER IF SHE WOULD BE SO INCLINED" "AS TO HAVE A CUP OF COFFEE WITH HIM" "AFTER THE DANCE WAS OVER." "SHE SAID, "NO."" "SHE SAID, "BUT IF YOU ARE SO INCLINED" ""YOU COULD HAVE TEA TOMORROW AFTERNOON WITH ME" "AT MY PARENTS' HOME."" "AND HE WAS SO INCLINED." "AND SO THEY INCLINED FOR MANY, MANY YEARS." "AND HERE WE ARE, ON THE 49TH YEAR." "YOU SEE THE RESULTS OF THEIR INCLINING." "WE WANT TO SAY" ""HAPPY 49TH ANNIVERSARY TO MR. AND MRS. RUSSELL HUXTABLE."" "( CHEERING )" "HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!" "I DON'T BELIEVE IT!" "IT'S BEAUTIFUL." "BUT WE NEVER POSED FOR A PORTRAIT." "HOW DID YOU DO THIS?" "CLIFF FOUND SOME OLD PHOTOGRAPHS" "AND GAVE IT TO THE ARTIST" "AND THERE YOU HAVE IT." "SON..." "I, UH..." "I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND THE WAY I EXPRESS MYSELF." "NO, I DON'T." "AW, HAPPY ANNIVERSARY." "CHILDREN:" "HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!" "* BABY!" "... *" "* BABY!" "... *" "I JUST CAN'T KEEP MY EYES OFF IT." "LOOK AT HIM STANDING THERE IN HIS UNIFORM." "WHEN HE WAS COMING OVER" "I STAYED BY MY WINDOW" "SO I COULD WATCH HIM WALK UP." "HE ALWAYS WALKED QUICKLY TO SEE HER." "WHEN SHE SAT WITH HIM, SHE WAS FLUSTERED" "BECAUSE HE WAS THE STRONGEST, SMARTEST, NICEST MAN" "SHE HAD EVER MET." "BUT INSIDE, HE WAS A NERVOUS WRECK" "'CAUSE HE'D NEVER BEEN WITH SUCH A BEAUTIFUL, GRACIOUS CREATURE." "THOSE TWO YOUNG PEOPLE" "DIDN'T KNOW WHAT THEY WERE GETTING INTO." "NO, THEY DIDN'T." "AND WE MADE IT THROUGH A WORLD WAR 30 YEARS OF HOUSE PAYMENTS..." "MIDNIGHT FEEDINGS..." "BROKEN ARMS..." "DOG BITES..." "AND THE TOUGHEST OF ALL" " HEATHCLIFF!" "DID YOU EVER THINK" "HE WOULD WIND UP WITH SUCH A FINE FAMILY?" "I HAD MY DOUBTS." "WHEN YOU HAVE A BOY WHO CLOWNS AROUND IN SCHOOL" "AND TRIES TO PARACHUTE OFF A GARAGE" "IT'S HARD TO SAY" ""NOW, THERE'S SOMEONE WHO SHOULD RAISE CHILDREN."" "DID YOU SEE THEIR FACES WHEN I UNVEILED IT?" "TOTAL SURPRISE!" "NOT AS SURPRISED AS I WAS WHEN YOU MENTIONED THE WILDEBEESTS." "CLAIR, I WAS DESPERATE." "YOU'RE A GOOD SON, CLIFF." "YES, I AM." "ONE DAY, WILL WE GO TO THEO'S HOUSE" "AND CELEBRATE OUR ANNIVERSARY WITH HIS FAMILY?" "NO, BECAUSE THEO WILL PROBABLY BE LIVING HERE." "MMM, DELICIOUS TEA." "CHAMOMILE." "YOU DEVIL." "I'VE LOVED IT SINCE THAT DAY I CALLED ON YOU." "THE GENTLEMAN SIPPING TEA WITH ME NOW" "IS JUST AS HANDSOME AS THE GENTLEMAN THAT DAY." "THE LADY IS MORE BEAUTIFUL." "THANK YOU." "49 YEARS..." "DOESN'T SEEM THAT LONG." "RUSSELL..." "WHEN THEY OFFERED US THAT CRUISE" "WE HAD EVERY EXCUSE IN THE BOOK." "YEAH, WE DID." "WHAT ARE WE AFRAID OF?" "I DON'T KNOW." "THOSE YOUNG PEOPLE" "WOULD HAVE BEEN ON THAT BOAT ALREADY." "I CAN DO WITHOUT MY MORNING PAPER FOR A WHILE." "WE CAN BRING OATMEAL TO MONTE CARLO." "LET'S LOCK UP THE HOUSE AND TAKE OFF." "WE WON'T TELL THE FAMILY WE'RE GOING." "WE'LL SEND THEM A POSTCARD." "OH, RUSSELL..." "HAPPY ANNIVERSARY." "HAPPY ANNIVERSARY." "CLIFF." "YOUR FEET ARE FREEZING!" "THAT'S WHY I PUT THEM OVER THERE." "WHY DON'T YOU PUT THEM BACK ON YOUR SIDE OF THE BED" "UNTIL THEY WARM UP?" "NOW THEY'RE COLD AND LONELY." "WHAT WILL IT BE LIKE AFTER 49 YEARS OF MARRIAGE?" "I DON'T KNOW" "BUT I HOPE THAT WE'LL BE AS SMOOTH" "AS MY MOTHER AND FATHER." "YEAH, THEY'RE GREAT." "WHAT DO YOU THINK THEIR SECRET IS?" "PROBABLY JUST LIVING ONE DAY AT A TIME." "YOU KNOW" "THE 22 YEARS I'VE BEEN MARRIED TO YOU" "HAVE BEEN THE HAPPIEST "ONE DAY AT A TIME"" "I'VE EVER HAD IN MY LIFE." "CLIFF..." "I LOVE THE WAY YOU BEG." "BRING YOUR COLD FEET OVER HERE." "JUST YOUR FEET, NOW, JUST THE FEET." "JUST YOUR FEET, NOW, JUST YOUR FEET!" "BOTH:" "* JUST YOUR FEET, NOW, JUST YOUR FEET!" "JUST YOUR FEET, NOW, JUST YOUR FEET!" "*" "WHOA, BABY!" "( BLUES MUSIC )" "( LIP-SYNCHING )" "* YOU KNOW, THE NIGHTTIME, NOW" "* WAH DO DAY" "* IS THE RIGHT TIME" "* WAH DO DAY" "* TO BE" "* WAH DO DAY" "* WITH THE ONE YOU LOVE, NOW" "* WAH DO DAY" "* AND I KNOW, BABY" "* WAH DO DAY" "* NOW, COME ON, BABY" "* WAH DO DAY" "* I WANT TO BE WITH THE ONE YOU LOVE, NOW" "* WAH DO DAY" "* YOU KNOW WHAT I'M THINKING OF" "* WAH DO DAY" "* I KNOW, THE NIGHTTIME" "* WAH DO DAY" "* OH, IS THE RIGHT TIME" "* WAH DO DAY" "* TO BE WITH THE ONE YOU LOVE." "* WAH DO DAY" "* I SAID, TO BE WITH THE ONE YOU LOVE" "* WAH DO DAY" "* OH..." "* SING YOUR SONG!" "* BABY!" "* WAH DO DAY" "* BABY!" "* WAH DO DAY" "* BABY!" "* WAH DO DAY" "* OH, BABY!" "* WAH DO DAY" "* YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU" "* WAH DO DAY" "* LORD ABOVE YOU" "* WAH DO DAY" "* HOLD ME TIGHT, NOW" "* WAH DO DAY" "* MAKE EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT" "* WAH DO DAY" "* BECAUSE THE NIGHTTIME" "* WAH DO DAY" "* IS THE RIGHT TIME" "* WAH DO DAY" "* TO BE WITH THE ONE YOU LOVE, NOW" "* WAH DO DAY" "* OH, YEAH, NOW." "* WAH DO DAY" "* I SAID, BABY" "* WAH DO DAY" "* BABY!" "* WAH DO DAY" "* BABY!" "* WAH DO DAY" "* OH, BABY!" "* WAH DO DAY" "* OH, COME ON, BABY" "* WAH DO DAY" "* YOU KNOW I WANT YOU BY MY SIDE" "* WAH DO DAY" "* I WANT YOU TO KEEP..." "* WAH DO DAY" "* OH, KEEP ME SATISFIED" "* WAH DO DAY" "* I KNOW, THE NIGHTTIME" "* WAH DO DAY" "* EVERY DAY IS THE RIGHT TIME" "* WAH DO DAY" "* YEAH, TO BE WITH THE ONE YOU LOVE" "* WAH DO DAY" "* WELL, YOU KNOW I'M RIGHT" "YEAH, YEAH. *"

"Her name is Kyungjin" "Yeo Kyungjin..." "I feel strange just saying her name" "She has something special that no one else can touch" "It's the dream of any man to go traveling with a woman he loves" "I wished for that too, and we did go on a trip" "However, my fate... no, first let me tell you how we met" "Thief!" "Thief!" "Thief!" "Snatcher, Stop" "My purse!" "Somebody catch him!" "Get him!" "Please help me!" "Excuse me!" "Hey, stop!" "You!" "It's not me, it's him!" "Why are you chasing me?" "It's not me" "It's not me." "I'm a brave citizen!" "He's getting away!" "He's getting away!" "Over there!" "That's what they all say" "What are you doing?" "My eyes!" "My eyes!" "Help me!" "I'm dying here" "I can't open my eyes My eyes!" "Get this off of my eyes" "Anything you say may be used against you in a court of law" "You have the right to remain silent, but if you do, you're a dead man" "My neck!" ""You have the right to consult a lawyer If you're broke,"" "The government will get you one But I doubt it'll help you any" "Sir, a criminal caught red-handed!" "Aren't you off duty today?" "Sir, a cop's a cop even if she's off duty" "Ma'am!" "He's the thief, right?" "I caught him" "Ma'am, you remember me?" "I'm innocent!" "You were robbed at a shoe repair shop, and I ran after the thief" "Hey, shut up" "Are you sure this time?" "Why don't you trust me, sir?" "Well..." "Gimme your ID" "In my back pocket" "Give me a break" "Occupation?" "Physics teacher" "At Sunik Women's High I start next Monday" "Cut the crap!" "Or you might get in real trouble" "I can describe the thief" "He was wearing a blue shirt and black pants" "He had curly hair, and an earring on one side" "His eyes were narrow, and there were a few whiskers on his chin" "He had a long nose, with white skin..." "And his shoes were..." "suede with gold decoration" "You remember in great detail, huh?" "Betray your partner, then you can go free?" "I can draw a picture of him Shut up!" "You could be his accomplice" "He doesn't seem like an accomplice..." "Exactly!" "It wasn't me I'm innocent." "Really!" "Truly!" "Hey!" "Come over here" "Smile" "He looks the same!" "Well..." "What?" "I don't look like him at all" "Get your ass over there and shut up!" "Don't you smell a criminal, sir?" "I don't smell like a criminal!" "He's got sharp ears, too" "Can you draw a picture of him?" "These handcuffs..." "I'll undo them" "I've never lied once in my entire life!" "So you can draw, huh?" "All done" "Me next!" "No way."" "No." "It's not what you think" "My instincts are always right" "You're under arrest" "Say cheese!" "One, two..." "You caught him?" "Yes, and he works solo" "Well then, I'm outta here" "Hey!" "You're just going to leave?" "Can't you at least say sorry?" ""Sorry" is not in my dictionary" "If you want to hear it, change your name to "Sorry."" "Then I'll call you "Sorry."" "You're so pretty" "You're doing volunteer patrol in red light districts?" "Yes" "You're late Everyone's gone off in pairs" "Then should I go alone?" "No" "Wait." "Your partner should arrive soon" "Let go of me" "Shut up!" "This isn't legal!" "Can a cop treat a citizen like this?" "Sure, why not?" "Hey, it's you again!" "Did you get robbed?" "Please believe me!" "Please!" "You bastard, come on here and sit down" "Lots of delinquents at your school?" "I don't know, I'm still new" "Kids who sniff glue?" "I don't know yet" "Hey, let's eat something" "Welcome" "These days kids do Ecstasy" "Lots of school violence and cyber crime, too" "But the worst are school gangs who steal from weaker kids" "Need to give those bastards a taste of real life" "There's an old saying..." ""Only the wicked see the wicked"" "What did you say?" "Nothing" "You pay!" "Do you have change for this?" "I'll eat more then" "A bitch in uniform!" "Do they run a beauty pageant to select cops?" "Don't do that, you idiot" "She's cute." "Yeah, right" "Better than your girl Your standards are too low" "You wanna die?" "Hey you, get over here!" "Oh Come on" "She lost her mind" "What the...?" "Gimme a break" "You're in the wrong place today, Sister!" "Did you throw that?" "You're in high school, right?" "Pick it up!" "How much is the fine?" "I'll pay" "Have you lost your manners?" "Pick it up!" "What if I won't?" "Pick it up" "Hey Sister, what's the matter?" "Are you having your period?" "Leave us alone, huh?" "Pick it up" "Follow me, you bitch!" "Take it easy Don't get mixed up with these kids" "Notify their school, and they'll take care of it" "Come on you..." "Shit!" "Let me go" "You're hopeless." "Get off of me!" "Shit," "You bitch!" "You bitch, you'll regret this" "Hurry and pick it up!" "Shit!" "Dad!" "A drug dealer." "Drug?" "If we follow him The guy on the left must be the dealer" "Let's tail him We might be able to get the whole gang" "No way." "We should be looking for kids, not drug dealers" "Those drugs will all end up in kids' hands, get it?" "Let's just call the station and go That's the DEA's job" "Then it'll be too late You go, I'm going home" "Let me go!" "Uncuff me" "Come on" "Let me go." "I'm not a criminal" "Let me go please!" "The more you wiggle the tighter it gets" "Gimme the key." "I don't have it" "Of course you have it!" "Where are you touching?" "Let's go" "Get down What do you think I am?" "Get down!" "Come on up!" "Go over first and get down" "What am I?" "A ladder or something?" "Am I stairs?" "I'm a teacher!" "A teacher!" "And this isn't even your district" "Don't piss on the street" "One." "Two." "Three!" "Who called the police?" "Son of a..." "We didn't!" "Drop the gun!" "Drop the gun!" "Drop the gun you bastards" "Don't point the gun at us!" "You're dead!" "We need to get the leader!" "Let's get out of here" "Freeze!" "Who the hell are you?" "Let me go." "I'm an undercover cop" "What's an undercover cop?" "I don't know." "An agent who does secret investigation" "Nice work" "Who the hell are you?" "You ruined everything!" "I could've nailed them all You ruined it!" "Let me go!" "You destroyed my masterpiece Let's go" "Do you know how great my plan was?" "You threw mud on a Picasso!" "Come on up, hurry" "Give me the key" "It's gone." "I must've dropped it while we were running" "Let me see." "Don't touch" "It hurts" "Hold my hand." "It won't hurt as much" "Everyone had to rush out for backup We don't have any extras" "They took all the handcuffs we had" "Oh, and did you... beat up some kids on the street?" "Yeah, why?" "His father is a big shot in our district He's in a rage!" "He's coming here." "You'd better hide" "Why?" "I didn't do anything wrong He's the godfather of the nightclubs" "He's almost like a gangster" "Hurry and go Nice introduction, Sheriff" "So you're the bitch who beat up my son" "So what?" "Wait, sir!" "You stay out of this Sir, let's talk first" "Get out!" "Hey, bitch" "How dare you hit my son?" "You want to die?" "Are you staring at me?" "I don't care if you're a cop" "Go ahead, bitch!" "Take it easy, sir Let's talk it over" "Who the hell are you?" "Hey bitch." "What did my son do?" "Cops shouldn't hit people" "He was smoking on the street and acting rude so I taught him a lesson" "If his Dad doesn't care, I don't care if he smokes who are you to hit him, bitch?" "Stop calling me bitch, you son-of-a-bitch thug!" "What?" "You're asking for death" "Calm down, Officer Yeo I'll take care of this, sir" "She needs to be fired She's a waste of taxpayer money" "Hey you, watch out when you walk home at night" "Hey, boys." "Remember her Don't forget her face!" "Yes sir!" "How about you and I just step outside" "What the hell?" "Do you think I have time for this?" "You bitch" "Why, are you scared?" "You ill-mannered bitch!" "You asshole!" "I can't take this shit anymore!" "So you can yell, huh?" "Stop staring at me, punk" "You son of a bitch You're a big guy, huh?" "That doesn't mean you can hit a police officer!" "Who the hell is this?" "Me?" "You wanna know about me?" "Shit!" "Murder, arson, rape..." "I'm a three-peat offender!" "You wanna die too?" "What's the difference between three murders or four?" "Do you wanna die?" "On your knees, now!" "On your knees!" "On your knees!"" "What are you doing?" "Can you do this in a police station?" "You're one to talk On your knees, bastard!" "What are you guys doing?" "On your knees!" "Rich bastards get away with everything!" "I'm sick of this world!" "On your knees!" "Repeat after me." "I'm sorry, officers" "I'm sorry, officers" "Louder, assholes!" "I'm sorry, officers" "I won't do this again I won't do this again" "And you!" "Teach your son some manners, okay?" "Teach your son some manners, okay?" "Not that, asshole!" "Now, beat it while I count to three" "Whoever's left is gonna die!" "One..." "Two three!" "Who's left?" "Sorry, sir I've done a bit of acting" "Put this on" "Can't you wash your foot after I wash my face?" "Until this process is finished..." "Did anyone lose this lunch box?" "No one?" "Then it must be the teacher's" "Take this" "Ladies." "I need to say something as a police officer" "I am officer Yeo Students need to study." "Right?" "Yes" "So don't go around beating up weaker kids," "You with the lunchbox!" "drinking booze or smoking..." "How dare you eat when I'm talking!" "You!" "And if you hang around red light districts," "I'm gonna whip your butt, got it?" "As for your teacher Mr. Go" "He is a very nice man, so don't give him trouble" "He's my boyfriend, so don't you dare try making eyes at him" "Go now" "We slept together too" "Go, please!" "A relationship like this..." "This is great!" "Which of you is Chundeuk?" "Be honest" "You need a servant, not a boyfriend, right?" "A boyfriend should help his girlfriend, shouldn't he?" "Which floor are you on?" "The top floor" "Put these over there." "Okay" "You're a twin?" "Nah, that's a composite photo" "You're a twin, right?" "Guess which one's me On the right" "No, the left" "You're really a twin" "Who's older?" "On the right" "I don't play the black keys" "Why not?" "Just because" "What's your sister like?" "Is she like you?" "Then hook me up with her" "Just joking" "She's dead" "We were so similar, no one could tell us apart" "Mom put us in different schools so people wouldn't be confused" "She was like the black keys, and I was like the white ones" "She was really playful, and she liked to switch roles with me" "Yeo Kyunjin" "Yeo Minjin" "She got me to take exams for her, and made me do things she didn't like doing" "I used to hate her for that" "Six kings have been born in this land, so the heaven helped..." "This sentence indicates that our country..." "And then one day..." "It was the date for graduation photos" "I had a piano competition, so I asked her to go take the picture for me" "And while she was going to school in my place, she was hit by a car" "I should've died instead of her So neither of us has a graduation photo" "She wanted to become a cop" "Do you still play the piano?" "Sometimes... but I play without the black keys" "How about you?" "Me?" "The only memory I have from high-school is when I had to go on a trip with both arms in casts" "Here, say cheese!" "One Two Three!" "That's funny." "Yeah, it was" "Let's start" "OK!" "Myungwoo!" "Myungwoo's a fool!" "Am I late?" "Just an hour" "Is it that late?" "I bought you a present Really?" "Me too" "It's a book that your student Chundeuk wrote" "You should use his full name to show respect." "He's over 90" "You have a student who's that old?" "Here" "Thanks" "District 230." "This is line 2" "We see the suspect..." "chasing him now" "Faster!" "Run!" "Quick!" "Hurry!" "Let me go!" "Let me go!" "One kidnapper is caught, two are heading for district 103 with the hostage Block nearby roads" "Freeze, or we'll shoot!" "Request backup!" "Be careful" "Pick her up" "Can we leave him like this?" "Just go" "Suspect heading for District 103" "I repeat Suspect heading for District 103" "Yeah." "I'm running my ass off," "No I'm not and you're lying in bed?" "Officer Yeo in district 103" "Wait, Line 2 Officer Yeo in district 103" "Two kidnappers ran behind Taeyang Requesting backup" "I'll call you back later!" "Officer Yeo is still chasing alone" "Can you run 100 meters in 11 seconds?" "What?" "That's how fast this girl is?" "I can only do 15 seconds" "Stop." "Let's stop here" "Get her on her knees On your knees" "What do we do with her?" "We need to make a decision Do we kill her or not?" "What should we do?" "You decide Let's kill her" "Kill her?" "Yes." "The bitch saw my face" "But... even if..." "How could we?" "You kill her." "You do it No, I can't!" "You do it" "It's your specialty!" "My specialty is welding" "Grab her, Grab her!" "Where?" "Shoulders One shot in her head and she's gone!" "Should I stab her on the left or right?" "No!" "Did you kill her?" "What the hell?" "Let's get him first" "What are you doing here, Sir?" "No!" "You can't kill her" "Why not, man?" "Come closer!" "Can't reach!" "Come a little closer." "Come on" "Okay" "Come on!" "Just a little bit more" "Damn, nothing's going right today!" "I'll see you in prison, I'll go first" "I'll shoot." "Freeze!" "Kyungjin!" "Quiet!" "Kyungjin!" "Kyungjin!" "Got you!" "Come on!" "You!" "Hiding in here, huh?" "What are you doing here?" "Can I help you?" "Is Mr. Go here?" "He left already You didn't you see him on your way in?" "No, I didn't..." "Bastard" "Where'd you get this piece of junk?" "What do you mean, junk?" "She's a beauty!" "You bought it?" "Of course" "How much was it?" "You don't need to know" "I'm going off on a road trip all over the country!" "No pavements!" "Yeah?" "I'll go too I'll take a vacation" "Don't you need to stay here and catch bad guys?" "Bad guys are everywhere" "Try this." "It feels like flying" "I must've been the wind in my previous life" "I want to be free as the wind" "When I'm not around, if you feel the wind blowing, then that will be me" "Then is this wind you?" "It's my friends" "If I die, I want to become the wind again" "Mmm, the fire smells great" "Isn't it nice?" "It is" "You know why people join their pinkies when making a promise?" "No, why?" "Once upon a time, in a huge, vast country, there was a princess who was very, very beautiful" "Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the prettiest of them all?" "Of course that would be you, my lady" "Really?" "Do you think so?" "If you're lying, I'll break you into pieces!" "I never lie, my lady You are the most beautiful" "You're so pretty" "Because the princess was so pretty and wise, princes came from all over the world to seek her hand" "Finally, five princes were left in the final round" "In order to choose the best match for her, she gave them a test" "She hid her right hand and unfolded one finger" "The five princes had to guess which one it was" "So that sign came to represent a vow of marriage" "The prince and princess couldn't have been happier" "But then the Crusades began, and the prince had to go to war" "The prince promised to come back alive, crossing his pinky with hers" "But ten years passed, and the prince didn't return" "She didn't even know if he was still alive" "But since the princess was still so pretty, many people came to ask her to re-marry" "She kept saying no, believing that he'd return, but she couldn't turn them down any longer" "So she decided to marry a man who joined pinkies with her" "One day, a filthy beggar came to the palace" "Everyone tried to get rid of him, but the princess called him in, saying everyone deserves a chance" "That beggar was her lost prince" "The truth was, the prince had been killed on his way home" "The soul of the dead must depart after 49 days" "That day was the 49th day" "In order to keep his promise, the prince returned as a ghost" "Finally the princess found the body of the prince" "Now you know the meaning of joined pinkies, right?" "Yes." "Can I ask you a question?" "If I die, will you die for me like the princess?" "Are you crazy?" "Why should I?" "Stop putting wood on the fire!" "The room is boiling" "Are you trying to burn me to death?" "Does it hurt?" "What happened to your lips?" "Forget about kissing her tonight" "Aren't you sorry for this?" "Like I told you before, if you wanna hear me say that, change your name to "Sorry"" "My name is "Sorry." Call me now Your name is Myungwoo" "I changed my name." "Say my name." "I can't approve it Why not?" "I changed it" "Stop fighting and eat!" "You're hurting my ears" "Myungwoo!" "Myungwoo!" "Myungwoo!" "Wake up!" "Please breathe" "Myungwoo..." "Please..." "Please breathe!" "Please breathe" "Please breathe." "You fool." "Breathe!" "Please breathe!" "Why did you save me?" "I don't want to die after you" "When a golf ball and table tennis ball is thrown at same speed!" "We went back to our ordinary lives Me teaching students, her chasing criminals" "Who can report to jurisdiction 230?" "Officer Yeo, coming to Nu Karaoke Jurisdiction 230, this is line 2" "Backup requested" "The criminal is the notorious jail-breaker Shin Changsoo" "Block the entrance, and wait until backup arrives" "Kyungjin, this is dangerous Let's not go" "It's Shin Changsoo" "We can't pass this up This is our chance to get promoted" "Jurisdiction 230." "This is line 2." "We're in front of Nu Karaoke, district 113" "Backup still hasn't arrived" "No, Kyungjin!" "He's over there!" "Put your hands up!" "Weapon on the table, hands in the air!" "Drop your weapon or I'll shoot" "Officer Jo, are you okay?" "Yes" "This is Line 2!" "Nu Karaoke Changsoo Shin on the run" "It is the notorious Changsoo Shin Officer Yeo is chasing by herself" "It's me." "I discovered something This is really special" "Where are you?" "I'll help I'm chasing a criminal now!" "No, it's too dangerous" "She sounded different that day" "I could figure out vaguely where she was" "I know that she's stronger than me But sometimes she acts without thinking, so I was worried" "Damn that bastard." "I'll remember this" "Shit!" "My big shot daddy will not like this!" "Oh, hello Get down" "Quit smoking, punk" "Got it" "When the hell are they going to use their guns?" "Let's go." "Where?" "It's the jail breaker Changsoo What?" "Freeze!" "Freeze!" "Shit, we screwed up Let's get away." "Come on" "Jurisdiction 230." "Line 2, line 2" "District 117, a citizen down at the factory behind Evening Star Park" "Call 911." "Call 911" "Jurisdiction 230, line 2" "District 117, a man down" "Please call 911!" "Myungwoo" "Don't die." "Don't die" "How can you die when I saved you once already?" "Don't die." "Don't die" "This is a dream." "This is a dream" "Jurisdiction 230." "Line 2, line 2" "District 117." "A man down" "Maybe I was destined to die in that river" "Don't do it" "Don't do it!" "Let me die!" "Let me die!" "Lie her down" "Why are you doing this?" "I killed him." "I killed him" "Hi, this is Myungwoo Either my battery's out, or I'm in a non-serviced area" "Leave a message after the beep and I'll call you back ASAP" "Which non-serviced area is that?" "Come back" "Hurry and come back" "No, never mind." "I'll come to you" "I'll come to your side" "Hey lady!" "What are you doing there, lady?" "Why do you care?" "And don't call me lady I'm not that old" "You're trying to commit suicide right, lady?" "Jumping off?" "She says don't call her lady" "Ask her for some money." "I'm hungry" "Money?" "We're not beggars" "Then what are we?" "Hey lady!" "I mean, Miss We ran away from home" "Please give us some money before you jump." "We won't stop you."" "What?" "Just 50 bucks" "Aren't you a little out of line?" "Or a credit card would be fine You won't be liable after death" "You guys are really something Wanna see me get angry?" "What's it this time?" "She seems angry" "I'm hungry, dammit Why can't she give us some money?" "Hey, if you got something to say, speak up." "Don't whisper like cowards!" "Give us some money before you croak!" "Your guts will be sprayed all over the street anyway bucks will do." "Or let's have sex" "Make the most out of your body before you jump" "Let's get it on." "You little shit!" "You bastard, get over here This is unbelievable." "She's pissed. "" "You mongrels!" "You guys are dead!" "Come on let's have a hot night!" "Hey!" "Run!" "You guys are dead when I catch you She's wild" "What?" "You rude idiots Catch us if you can!" "Hey, I can see her panties Panties!" "Panties!" "They're black!" "No, she isn't wearing any!" "That's why it's black" "It's purple, you dirty dogs!" "Really, she's not wearing any!" "No, how could she be" "You're dead!" "She's still following us." "Take this" "Shit!" "Don't give me this." "Take this yourself!" "Why are you giving me this It smells, I don't want it" "Where did you learn that kind of crap?" "What did you say? "Screw till you die"?" "You dirty bastards!" "We were just hungry" "We haven't eaten for three days It's true" "What do you want?" "What should we have?" "Pizza!" "Pizza?" "Watch her eat!" "I can't believe she was just trying to kill herself" "You said it" "I haven't eaten for 3 days either I need to eat to be a pretty ghost" "What's the use of that?" "If you jump off a building, your guts will all burst open, 1 and the pizza will spray in all directions." "What did you say?" "Cut the crap and bring me more salad No cucumbers or croutons" "You go." "No beans" "Why do you always order him around?" "You go!" "Damn." "Don't eat everything." "Got it" "More pizza, please!" "This is cab fare to go home" "You better go home I'm going to check!" "Ok?" "Thanks, Miss" "We don't need to thank her We're the ones who saved her life" "What?" "Give me my money back No." "Thank you very much" "You have to go home." "All right?" "You have to live, too" "Excuse me!" "Is this the way out?" "Well then..." "Take care" "If you feel the wind when I'm not around, that's me" "If I die, I want to become the wind" "Myungwoo" "Are you here?" "Is this you?" "Or is it just the wind?" "Tell me!" "Tell me, Myungwoo!" "Myungwoo!" "Did you become the wind?" "Did you really?" "I can't believe this" "This is the day you leave me forever" "The 49th day after your death" "But I'll come and find you before that day." "I'll be sure to" "This place is 30 years old... come in" "Doing all right, guys?" "Nice work" "Hey, Park." "The guy you caught Get him in!" "You can use the desk Min was using" "Your locker is over there" "Where's Kim?" "!" "I don't know, sir" "Oh come on" "What time is it?" "Detective Kim!" "Yes, sir?" "Not you guys I'm looking for Kim Youngho" "There are a lot of Kims here, sir You're not even a detective" "There he is" "What time were you going to meet?" "I don't know" "Hey, Kim!" "Yes sir" "She's your new partner" "I'll see you guys later" "Hello, sir!" "It's nice to meet you" ""I'd like to see you play piano I'd like to see the real you"" "Who are you?" "A cop?" "Don't come closer, or I'll shoot!" "I'll really shoot!" "Get out of here!" "Detective Yeo!" "Go!" "Go!" "Go!" "Go!" "Go away!" "Learn to shoot straight Yes, Ma'am" "If he resurfaces, call me back" "And don't let anyone else know" "I need to get Changsoo myself Don't worry" "Did you say Changsoo?" "No, nothing I have some other errands to run" "I'll see you back at the station" "I won't speed I'll let you." "Follow that car" "Freeze!" "Freeze!" "Shoot him!" "Call the ambulance!" "Careful!" "Myungwoo!" "How can you die after I saved you once already?" "I must've been the wind in my previous life" "Please don't die" "Be honest." "You need a servant, not a boyfriend, right?" "A boyfriend should help his girlfriend, shouldn't he?" "Aren't you sorry for this?" "If you want to hear me say 'sorry' you'd better change your name to Sorry" "Breathe, you fool!" "Where are you?" "I'll help" "He's my boyfriend, so don't you dare try making eyes at him" "I'm a three-peat offender Murder, arson, rape..." "Try this." "It feels like I'm flying" "There's a saying..." ""Only the wicked see the wicked"" "Am I late?" "My name is 'sorry'." "Call me now" "Are you here?" "Is this you?" "Or is it the wind?" "Tell me." "Tell me." "Myungwoo" "Tell me." "Tell me." "Myungwoo" "Did you become the wind?" "Did you really become the wind?" "Don't die, Myungwoo!" "I can't believe this" "I must have been the wind in my previous life" "Line 2 Line 2" "Call the ambulance!" "Hurry up!" "This is the day you leave me forever The 49th day after your death" "If you feel the wind when I'm not around, that's me" "But I'll go meet you before that day." "I'll be sure to" "Call the ambulance!" "Myungwoo..." "Myungwoo..." "Is that you?" "Detective Yeo, wake up!" "Concentrate on anything" "Just try to live" "Keep talking to her" "I can't, tears keep coming out" "Do you remember that time?" "You were like Robocop" "Robocop can't die from one gun shot" "I have a confession to make" "Detective Yeo, try to live!" "I have to tell you something" "I need to confess something" "Be quiet, please!" "They told me to keep talking" "Check her vital signs." "BP 60" "Her pulse is weak." "Connect the monitor and call cardiovascular" "Call cardiovascular She stopped breathing" "Get the D.C. ready!" "Intubation!" "200 joules." "Ready!" "Shoot" "Check the EKG." "No change. "" "300 joules!" "Ready!" "Shoot!" "360 joules!" "Ready!" "Shoot!" "Officer Yeo!" "Your night shift is over Go home, okay?" "!" "Yes, sir" "Myungwoo!" "Myungwoo!" "Myungwoo!" "It's you, isn't it?" "You were alive" "Why did you run away?" "You know you can't run fast" "I could've run well" "But I only have one lung now" "How could you pretend that you're dead?" "Didn't you think about how much it'd hurt me?" "I didn't want you to see me this way" "Who cares?" "I love you no matter what" "I'm not Myungwoo any longer And you're not Kyungjin" "Myungwoo." "Myungwoo's dead" "Admit it, will you?" "Don't pretend I'm alive" "But you're alive." "Myungwoo's dead!" "Myungwoo" "The EKG's back" "She's trying to live." "What?" "She's trying to live." "Connect all the lines." "Check her vitals again" "Get the chest tubes ready Prepare some blood" "Hey, Kim." "I can see that you have the hots for Kyungjin" "But you're a married man" "No love confessions, OK?" "You're awake The operation was successful, 1 and you're recovering quickly" "Get some more sleep" "What's the date today?" "Today?" "The last day of October" "Myungwoo" "Myungwoo" "Myungwoo" "Myungwoo" "Myungwoo" "Myungwoo" "Myungwoo" "Myungwoo" "Myungwoo" "Somebody must've heard my prayer" "I can see you" "I need to go" "I'm glad that I saw you before I left" "No!" "Myungwoo" "Myungwoo." "Don't go" "I'll follow you, if you go" "No." "It's not your time yet" "You have many days ahead of you" "No." "No" "Don't be so sad because of me" "We'll meet again." "Can't you feel it?" "When we meet again, tell me all the happiest memories you experienced from this life" "And when you hear me whisper in the wind, you'll meet someone who has a soul like mine" "Now, let me leave with your love in my heart" "Myungwoo!" "Sorry" "You don't have to call me that My name is Myungwoo" "I won't be so sad anymore" "I'll believe that you're always with me" "If you miss me, come back anytime" "Even as the wind Come back as the wind" "Were you looking for me?" "Oh, this" "This just came in at the lost and found." "It's got your name on it" ""To my savior Kyungjin, I'm yours"" "Kyungjin, how are you these days?" "I hope you're not hurting anymore" "I'm always beside you Remember I told you once that when you hear me whisper in the wind you will meet someone with a soul like mine?" "Can you feel it?" "I am near you" "You will meet him today" "Do you know who brought this in?" "Please stand back from the train" "Please mind the gap between the train and the platform..." "I could hear his whisper in the wind." "I could feel it" "It was him." "Standing beside me" "Let me introduce my girlfriend." "She is... someone who shed many tears over me" "Her name is Kyungjin." "Kyungjin Yeo" "I feel strange just saying her name," "She has something special that no one else can touch"

"Hello." " He's on a bus with William." " Who's William?" "He's the most handsome and coolest guy in all of third year." "Invite me to have dinner with your mom." " Friday." " Yeah..." "Friday." "Guess who's invited to the Penetrator party on Friday?" "Are you for real, Eva?" "!" "William asked me if I wanted to go outside with him." "I think we'll hook up." " Hi!" "Is Jonas home?" " Yeah, he's in the living room." " Hello." " Hi." " What are you guys playing?" " FIFA." "What's up?" "What?" "Where's your Russ crew today?" "Don't you have a shitload to do?" "It's only two years and seven months until Russ time." "You better start working." "I know." "I'm really jealous of you guys, who spend their time on more constructive things..." "Like playing videogames all day long." "What are you mad about now?" "I'm not mad." "I'm just kidding." "Have a little humor." "I have to talk to you." "Drama!" "What's wrong?" " What's wrong with you?" " There's nothing wrong with me." "Okay..." "So why haven't you replied to my messages?" "I was busy." "So you're not mad I forgot our thing yesterday?" " No, no." "I don't care." "You don't care?" "Don't stress about it." " Okay, good." " Good." "Fine." " Yeah, so I'll go." " You're welcome to stay." "No, I have a lot of stuff to do." "Yeah, I'll call you." "He claims he's not pissed, but I think there's something when he doesn't want to talk about it." "But isn't he just pissed because he thought that you didn't want him to meet your mom?" "He thinks you're embarrassed of him." "You think so?" "Just let him meet your mom." "What's the problem?" "Chris has to tell Sana that she can't be on our bus any longer." "Why?" "Hello?" "!" "She nearly ruined our entire social status, and I had to fix it." "I had to explain to the Penetrator guys that we don't usually create a lot of drama." "It's really important what they think of us." " But maybe it wasn't Sana's fault?" " Have you met Sana?" "She's incredibly rude." "Sara and Ingrid aren't the nicest people in the world." "I know Sara and Ingrid really well and they're not girls who start drama." "Really..." "William..." " What's up with you two?" " I think we'll sleep together." "Okay?" "Don't you think you should get to know him a little better first?" "Why?" "He's totally perfect." "I want my first time to be with the most handsome, coolest '97 guy rather than someone basic." "You'll remember your first time for the rest of your life." "His first time?" "I've also heard that William is really, really good in bed." "And that usually you don't get an orgasm the first time." "But with William, you do." "I've heard about five girls who got an orgasm." "Okay..." "Hello?" "!" "I'm doing this for you guys too!" "This will guarantee we'll get to party on their bus." "Vilde?" "!" "There's something I was wondering." "Can I borrow the pill from you guys?" "You can't borrow the pill." "Not one pill." "I thought for a week or something." "You have it?" "I don't have it." "Me neither." "Don't you sleep with your boyfriend?" "I have a NuvaRing." "And you don't want to borrow that one." "Where did you get it?" "The doctor." "So much stress." "Can't you order it online or something?" " I don't know." " Just go to the school doctor." " Can you come with me?" " Why?" "Because it's really weird to go there alone." " It's so much less weird with us..." "Of course we can come, Vilde." "William!" " Hey, are you awake?" " Yeah, I can't sleep." " What are you doing?" " It's just boring work." "No wonder your grades are going down if you don't sleep at night." "I definitely won't sleep if we're going to talk about grades." "How are Ingrid and Sara doing?" " Why are you asking and interrogating like that?" "It was just a normal question." "Yeah." "Yeah, they're doing well." "I have a boyfriend." "Oh?" "Hm-hm." "Who is it?" " Who?" " Hm-hm." "I thought you could meet him." "Yes!" " Before you leave again?" " Hm-hm." "Maybe we can invite him over for dinner?" "Yes." " When are you leaving again?" " Saturday morning." "Maybe Friday night?" "So nice." "Hi." "Have you become friends again, or?" "This is Noora." "I've told you about Noora." " Noora." " Hello." "Jonas." "We have an appointment at the school doctor." " Yeah, what about Vilde?" "Vilde will meet us there." "What's going on at the doctor?" "We're helping a friend get laid." " Okay..." "Good luck with that." " Thanks!" "You guys are so slow!" " Sorry!" " But, are you doing anything on Friday?" "What is she doing here?" "How did you know we were here?" "Eva's boyfriend told me." " Did you tell your boyfriend?" "!" " I have the best news in the world!" " Sana sold all the toilet paper!" " Vilde Lien?" " I'm serious!" " How did she manage that?" "I don't know!" "She said you just had to send your account number and address." " Are you kidding?" " No!" " Can she please join our bus?" " It's not something illegal?" "No, no!" "She's Muslim." "No, but as a Muslim you go to hell if you do something illegal." "She doesn't really want to go to hell." "Welcome!" "Everyone." " What can I help you with?" " She's gonna sleep with a guy." "You're so lucky!" "For the first time." "That's not just anything." "What do you mean?" "My cousin bled so much that she got anemia." "That's bullshit." "No, bleeding can happen during your first intercourse." "Large bleedings should be taken seriously because they can in fact kill you." " She just got a little weak." " Then she was lucky." "I had a patient once who bled so extremely that we feared she would pass out." "Because she had sex for the first time?" "No, she cut herself." "She bled so much that we had to give her a blood transfusion." "But she just wants to have the pill." "Yes." "When will the intercourse take place?" " On Friday." " On Friday?" "!" "That's when William's available." "I thought that we could drink in Eva's basement." "We should drink?" "You're the one who will be having sex with him." "I can't drink by myself." "You have to support me." "Why do you have to drink at all?" "It can't be at my place." "Mom's home and Jonas is coming." "Please" " Have you seen one like this before?" "Do any of you perhaps want to see how to put on a condom?" "It's difficult to open." "It tends to be..." "There we go." "Be honest, how painful is it?" "I don't remember anything from my first time." "Just drink, you won't feel anything." "Do you want to be so drunk that you don't remember anything?" " Were you drunk your first time?" " No." "Pinch my arm." "How much does it hurt?" " Seriously?" " It doesn't resemble pinching." "Just relax, so it doesn't hurt." "What do you know?" "You haven't even had sex." "Okay, seriously." "William has to call soon." "What did he write last?" "Pick you up around 7." "We'll find something." "Can't you just call him?" "I can't seem too desperate for his dick." "But what if he doesn't send a message?" "Then I would be a little bit relieved." " Vilde, you don't have to have sex with him if you don't want to." "I want to!" "But I just don't want it to hurt." "No, but that's why you have to relax." "What turns you on about him?" "Turns me on?" " What gets you horny?" " Horny..." " Nothing makes me horny." " You're never horny?" " Are you?" " Yes!" "Why don't you have sex then?" "I know what can make you horny." "I won't be involved in lesbian stuff." "Vilde, it's not lesbian stuff." "Just lie on your back and close your eyes." "Imagine you and William standing in the bedroom." "Are you imagining it?" " Yes." " What's happening?" " What's happening?" " Yeah, describe it." "We're standing in the bedroom." " I'm wearing a white dress." " Yeah, good." "Continue." "Okay!" "The dress is almost similar to a Stella McCartney dress with lace at the bottom." "But it doesn't have lace at the bottom." "I have my hair down." "No!" "I'm wearing it up." "But my up-do is loose so my hair falls down some." "I'm wearing light pink lipstick." "Not the lightest from Mac, but the one that's kind of medium." "This actually works!" "Seriously?" "I think so!" "You get horny when talking about clothes and make-up?" "Yes!" "People get horny from different things." "I was watching a documentary about the countryside and got horny from donkeys." "Eva?" "I'm coming!" "Okay, you guys have to leave now." "We can't go." "He hasn't sent a message yet." " Go to your house, then." " I can't go home, I've been drinking." "Can't we just sit here?" "We can be quiet." "Eva?" "Yeah, I'm coming!" "Okay, okay!" "But you have to be really quiet." "Leave through the window, okay?" "Hi!" "Hi." "Shouldn't your boyfriend be coming now?" "Eh, yes!" "But he sent a message that he's a bit delayed." "Okay." "[Where the hell are you?" "]" "Do you need help?" "[Where the hell are you?" "]" "Do you need help?" "No, it's going well." "What was that?" "I forgot to turn off a movie." "I'll fix it." "What are you doing here?" " Is Vilde here?" " No!" "Eh, yes." "But you can't be here." " Hi!" "Nice to meet you." " Hi." "William." "No, no, no." "This isn't my boyfiriend." "This is Vilde's boyfriend." "Oh, really?" "Who's Vilde?" "A friend." "William thought Vilde was here, but she isn't." "So he's leaving now." "Chris, Noora, Vilde!" "What are you doing here?" "Remember when I borrowed your jacket?" "Well we thought we'd bring it." "But you weren't in your basement, so we left it in a bag outside... your window." "Yeah, thanks." "But now you surely have to go again." "Yeah, yeah." "We have so many jackets to deliver." "So we'll just..." "See you!" "Come." "Bye!" "What's going on here, Eva?" " Nothing's going on." " Were those girls drunk?" "No." " Where are you?" " I can't come anymore." "Why not?" "Because I forgot I said I'd help my mom with something." " Can't you help her later?" "No it's really important." "I have to do it now." " Who was that?" " That was my sister." " Jonas!" " I'm sorry, but I have to go now."

"An article, which I believe appeared in a newspaper, asked why, since it would seem that you are in effect the Mayor of Chicago, you're not simply being appointed to that position." "Well, I tell ya, it's touching." "Like a lot of things in life, we laugh because it's funny, and we laugh because it's true." "Some people say, reformers here say:" ""Put that man in jail, what does he think he is doing?"" "What I hope I'm doing, and here's where your paper's got a point, is I'm responding to the will of the people." "People are gonna drink." "We all know that." "All I do is act on that." "And all this talk of bootlegging." "What is bootlegging?" "On the boat it's bootlegging, on Lake Shore Drive it's hospitality." "I'm a businessman." "Your reputation is that you control your business through violence." "That those that don't purchase your product are dealt with violently." "It's all right." "I grew up in a tough neighbourhood." "We used to say, "Y ou can get further with a kind word and a gun"" ""than you can with just a kind word."" "And in that neighbourhood it might've been true." "And sometimes your reputation follows you." "There is violence in Chicago, but not by me and not by anybody I employ." "Because it's not good business." "Leave us alone down here, we've got everything we need." "The green beer you're peddlin' ain't any good." "It's not supposed to be good." "It's supposed to be bought." "I'm not buyin' any." "Don't worry about it, Pops, we won't come back." " How's everyone at your house today?" " They're fine." " Is your Mama well?" " She has a little cold." "Oh, she does?" " I'm sorry to hear that." " But she'll be all right." " There you go." " Thank you." "That's all right, sweetie." "You be careful crossing' the street." " Mister!" " You tell your Mama that..." "Hey, Mister!" "Wait!" "Mister!" "Wait!" "You forgot your brief..." "Yes, I heard it on the radio." "I know." "Now it's time to go to work." "You'll make a good first impression." "I love you, Eliot." "Now, shoo." "Eliot Ness, Special Agent of the Treasury Department." " Mr Ness." " Thank you, Chief." "At the request of the City of Chicago, the Department of the Treasury has inaugurated a programme to deal with the flow of illegal liquor and the violence it creates." "Mr Ness!" "Of what does this programme consist?" "I and other agents of the Treasury will be working with the Chicago Police..." "Isn't it just another showpiece programme?" " What do you think of prohibition?" " Do you drink, Mr Ness?" " Come on, answer the questions." " It's not just a showpiece." "And I'll tell you how I feel about prohibition." "It is the law of the land." "Do you consider yourself a crusader, is that it?" "What qualifications do you have for the job?" "Do you have any political ambitions?" "All right, boys, I think that's enough." "What are your real plans?" "What have you got coming up?" "You'll have to read about it in the paper." " Let me ride along with you." " No." "Can't help you." "Mr Ness, Lieutenant Alderson, the Flying Squad." "Are you ready to meet the men?" "Yes, I am." "I have one more thing to say." "I know that many of you take a drink." "What you've done before today is not my concern." "But now we must be pure, and I want you to stop." "It's not a question of whether it's 'a harmless drink'." "It may well be." "But it's against the law." "And as we are going to enforce the law, we must do first by example." "Are there any questions?" "Good." "The Department of the Treasury's had a man undercover here for some time now." "We've received word from this informant that a large shipment of Canadian whiskey has arrived in Chicago." "So I hope that you have signed on for some action." "Remember, the liquor cases are marked with the red maple leaf." "The Treasury Agent is in a grey suit with a white scarf." " He is not to be arrested." " A grey suit and a white scarf." " That's it." "Are your men ready?" " Yes, sir." "They are." " At ease." " Smoke 'em if you got 'em." " How are we doin'" " Okay." " Want part of a sandwich?" " No, thank you, sir." " You nervous?" " No, sir." " Been with the unit long?" " A short while." " I suppose we all want to do well." " Yes, sir." "A message from my wife." " You married?" " Yes, sir, I am." "Nice to be married, huh?" "Just follow me." " Oh, God..." " Federal officer." "Hands in the air." "Get 'em up." "Drop it." "Damn it, I can't , it'll break." "Mr Ness." "Look, I was just..." "Geez, I'm sorry." "Listen, I can do a lot for you, what you're tryin' to do." "I get the big scoop, you make a big splash." "Get some support." "What do you say?" "Let's be real, let me help you." "Okay." "Just shut up." "All right now..." "Let's do some good!" "Hold it right there!" "Federal officer." "You're under arrest for violations of the Volstead Act." "Let's cover the doors!" "Don't let anybody out!" "Preseuski." " I'm here with permission." " Who gave you permission?" " Mr Ness!" " Sorry, let him through here." "Let him through here." "You want to take your picture, take it now." " You ready?" " Ready." "Liquor, huh?" "Get him out of here." " Tear the place apart!" " I mean now, get him out!" "That means you, too." "Christ!" "Now, what do you think you're doing?" "You want to throw garbage?" "Throw it in the goddamn trash basket." "Don't you have more important things to do?" "Yeah." "But I'm not doing them right now." "Do we understand each other?" "Okay, pal, why the Mohaska?" " Why are you packin' the gun?" " I'm a Treasury Officer." "All right." "Just remember what we talked about now." "Hey..." "Wait a minute!" "What the hell kind of police do you have in this goddamn citý?" "You just turned your back on an armed man." " You're a Treasury officer." " I just told you I was." "Who would claim to be that, who was not?" "What's your name and unit?" "It's right here." "You got a beef?" "What is it?" "How did you know I had a gun?" "What do you want, a free lesson in police work?" "No." "Are you okay, pal?" "I had a rough day on the job." " Are you going home now?" " I was about to." "Well, then, you just fulfilled the first rule of law enforcement." "Make sure when your shift is over you go home alive." "Here endeth the lesson." "$100,000 for 40 barrels." "Make sure there are no empties." "I'm gonna give you the ledger, everything is in the book." "55 gallons to the barrel." " It's Eddie." " Come in, Eddie." "So, he gets into the snowplough, and he says, "Let's do some good" ." "And then, we bust through..." " Mr Ness?" " Yes?" "I came here to thank you." "It was... ..my little girl that got killed with that bomb." "I'm sorry." "Please." "I'm ..." "I'm so sorry." "You see, it's ...because I know that you have children, too." "And that this is real for you, that these men cause us tragedy." "And I know that you will put a stop to them." "And you do that, now." " What do you want?" " I'd like to talk to you." "Come in." "I need a small group of men, handpicked, starting with you." "Ness!" "I am just a poor beat cop." " Now, how can I help you?" " Just work with me." " But why should I, though?" " Because you're a good cop." " How do you know that?" " You told me." "If I'm such a good cop..." "How come I'm walkin' the beat, then, at my age?" "Do you want to tell me?" "Well, maybe I'm that Whore with a Heart of Gold." "Or The One Good Cop in the Bad Town?" "Is that what you want to hear?" "I didn't ask you, and I don't care!" "You want to stay on the beat?" "You do that." "If you'd like to come with me, I need your help." "I'm askin' you for help." "Well...that's the thing you fear, isn't it?" "Mr Ness, I wish I'd met you ten years and...twenty pounds ago." "But..." "I just think it got..." "more important to me... ..to stay alive." "And that's why I'm walkin' the beat." "Thank you, no." "That's good, Andy." "Let's start up the thing and take a little ride." "I wanna hear that Stutz Bearcat engine, boy!" " Yeah, let me open the door here." " Yeah, go ahead." "Whoopsy daisy, pick up the door there, Andy." "Throw it in the back seat." "Now, let me get the thing started." "Yeah, start it up, Andy." "Holy mackerel, Andy!" "Listen to that Bearcat motor!" "Yeah, it sounds like the bear is chasing' that cat all round it!" "Andy!" "She's boiling' over!" " Mr Ness?" " Yes." "Oscar Wallace." "I've been assigned here by the Washington Bureau." " Really?" " Yes." "Well, I'm glad to have you here, Mr Wallace." "Would you excuse me?" "We are a little in the dark here, but any ideas you may have..." "Well, actually, yes, sir, I do." "And the one I want to try first..." "is this." "He has not filed a return since 1926." " A return...?" " An income tax return." " Income tax." " Yes, sir." " What do you do at the Bureau?" " Oh, I'm an accountant." " An accountant?" " Yes, and the Bureau sent me here..." "Would you excuse me?" "Please." "Okay." "Let's go." " Where are we going?" " These walls have ears." "You said you wanted to know how to get Capone." "Do you really want to get him?" "You see what I'm saying?" " What are you prepared to do?" " Everything within the law." "And then what are you prepared to do?" "If you open the ball on these people, you must be prepared to go all the way." "Because they won't give up the fight until one of you is dead." "I want to get Capone." "I don't know how." "Here's how you get Capone:" "he pulls a knife, you pull a gun." "He sends one of yours to hospital, you send one of his to the morgue!" "That's the Chicago way!" "And that's how you get Capone." "Now, do you want to do that?" "Are you ready to do that?" "I'm making you a deal." "Do you want this deal?" "I have sworn to put this man away, with any and all legal means at my disposal, and I will do so." "Well, the Lord hates a coward." "Do you know what a blood oath is, Mr Ness?" " Yes." " Good. 'Cause you just took one." "How do you think Capone knew about your raid the other night?" " Somebody on the cops told him." " Right." "Welcome to Chicago." "This town stinks like a whorehouse at low tide." "First, who can you trust?" "Nobody." "The cops, nobody." " 'Cause nobody wants you here." " Then why are you helping me?" "Because I swore to uphold the law." "And if you believe that, I'll tell you another." " Now, who can you trust?" " I can trust nobody." " That's the sorry truth." " Then, where are we gonna get help?" "If you're afraid of getting a rotten apple, don't go to the barrel." "Get it off the tree." "Finger out of the trigger guard!" "Eject those cartridges!" "Lay the revolver on the ledge and stand back!" "About face!" "Barry!" "I want you to meet Mr Eliot Ness." "Treasury Department." "How are you?" "We need a recruit for extended duty." "He is to be seconded to the Treasury Department." "We have the full..." "Barry?" "Who is consistently the best shot of this class?" " Williamson and Stone." " Call them out, one at a time." " Are either of the men married?" " No." " Good." " Williamson!" " You're married." " I don't want any married men." "All right, stand easy, son." "I want to ask you something." " Why do you want to join the force?" " To protect and..." "To protect and serve..." "To protect and..." "Please don't search for the yearbook answer." "Just tell me what you think." " What I think?" "I..." " You could help...the force." " You can help..." " With the force." "Thank you." "There goes the next Chief of Police." "At ease!" "Stone!" "Out here." "This kid's a prodigy." " Why do you want to join the force?" " To protect the property and..." "Oh, please, don't waste my time with that bullshit." "Where are you from, Stone?" " From the Southside." " Stone?" "George Stone, that's your name?" " What's your real name?" " That is my real name." "Nah!" "What was it before you changed it?" " Giuseppe Petri." " Geez, I knew it!" "That's all you need, one thieving wop on the team!" "What's that you said?" "I said that you're a lyin' member of a no-good race." "That's much better than you, you stinkin' Irish pig." "Oh, I like him." "Yeah, I like him, too." "You just joined the Treasury Department, son." "Yeah, okay." "Eliot Ness." "With reports from stake-outs on the North and West side, and..." "Thank you, Lieutenant." "Thank you." "What do you think?" "I think there's nothing like vaudeville." " That's what I think." " Now, are you ready to go to work?" " Where are we going?" " On a liquor raid." "We need another man." "Mr Ness?" "This is very interesting." "I've found a financial disbursement pattern which shows some irregu..." " You carry a badge?" " Yes." "Carry a gun." " Jimmy...?" " What?" "What the hell are you dressed for?" "Hallowe'en?" "Shut up." "I'm working." "Where?" "The circus?" " Well, here we are." " What are we doing here?" "Liquor raid." "Here?" "!" "Everybody knows where the booze is." "The problem isn't finding it." "The problem is who wants to cross Capone." "Let's go." "You'd better be damn sure, Malone." "If you walk through this door, you're walking into a world of trouble." "There's no turning back." "Do you understand?" "Yes, I do." "Good." "Give me that axe." " Federal officers!" " Get your hands in the air!" " Nobody moves!" " This is a raid!" " Everybody..." " What are you doin' here?" "All this stuff is impounded!" "You're all under arrest!" "Hey!" "This isn't right!" "Hey!" "This is no good!" " You got a warrant?" " Sure!" "Here's my warrant." "How do you think he feels now?" "Better...or worse?" " What is that?" " What is that?" " Yes, what is it?" " God, I'm with a heathen." "That is my callbox key." "And that is Saint Jude." "Il Santo Jude." "He's the patron saint of lost causes." "And policemen." " Patron saint of policemen?" " Everybody needs a friend." "Lost causes, policemen..." " Which do you want to be?" " I want to be a cop." " You do?" " Yes." "Why?" "'To protect the property and the citizenry...'" "Whoa, it's all right." " What?" "!" " I got to tell you, congratulations!" "It's okay if I get a picture of you and your men?" "Yeah." "But not for publication." "Just for us!" "Anything you say, Mr Ness." "Closer in..." "Oh, that's great." "Okay, ready?" "Hold it." "Life goes on." "A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms." "Enthusiasms..." "Enthusiasms..." "What are mine?" "What draws my admiration?" "What is that which gives me joy?" " Dames!" " Boozin'" "Baseball!" "A man..." "A man stands alone at the plate." "This is the time for what?" "For individual achievement." "There he stands alone." "But in the field, what?" "Part of a team." "Teamwork..." "Looks, throws, catches, hustles." "Part of one big team." "Bats himself the live-long day, Babe Ruth, Ty Cobb, and so on." "If his team don't field...what is he?" "You follow me?" "No one." "Sunny day, the stands are full of fans." "What does he have to say?" "I'm goin' out there for myself." "But..." "I get nowhere unless the team wins." " Team!" " Team." "Jesus Christ!" "'Now I lay me down to sleep'" "'I pray the Lord my soul to keep' 'lf I should die before I wake'" "'I pray the Lord my soul to take'" " Amen." " God bless..." "God bless Mommy, God bless Annie, God bless Daddy." "Amen." "Amen." "Good night." " Good night, Daddy." " Good night, little girl." "Want to rub Eskimo?" "Butterfly?" " Where are you going?" " What?" "Where are you going?" "I thought I'd go downstairs, some work to do for tomorrow." " You had a full day today, though?" " Yes, I certainly did." "And you've still got some energy left?" "Oh, a lot of work." "Well, why don't you come up and brush my hair?" "You 'Detective'" " How are we doin'" " Capone's organisation is diverse." "It owns Canadian Holding Company Associations, which owns in turn" "Green Light Laundry, Midwest Cabs, Jolly Time Playthings..." " Jolly Time Playthings?" " Yes." "Remind me to get a present for my daughter." "...Bahama Ship-to-Shore, Miss Lucy Togs...the list is endless!" "And all the business is legitimate, and none is owned by Al Capone." "But we can get him on income tax evasion if we can show that any of the 'organisation' business money is going to him." " Legally, he receives no income." " He doesn't receive anything?" " Mr Ness?" "You have a visitor." " Mister Ness!" "Could we talk for a minute?" "I'm John O'Shea, Alderman..." "Yes, I know who you are." "Would you excuse us?" "We are busy with several large operations." "What can I do for you?" "I came up to congratulate you on a job well done." "Share your good fortune on such a lovely day." "What's that?" " What is that?" " Mr Ness, you're an educated man." "Let me pay you the compliment of being blunt." "There is a large and popular business which you are causing dismay." "Why don't you just cross the street and let things take their course?" "Would you come in here, please?" "In Roman times, when a fellow tried to bribe a public official, they would cut off his nose, sew him in a bag with a wild animal, and throw that bag in the river." "You tell your master that we must agree to...disagree!" " You're making a mistake." " I'm beginning to enjoy my mistakes." "You fellows are 'untouchable' is that it?" "No one can get to you?" "You tell Capone..." "that I'll see him in hell." "Hey!" "Nice house!" "I said, nice house!" "Do you live there?" "Little girl's havin' a birthday, huh?" "Yes." "Nice to have a family." "Yes, it is." "A man should take care, see that nothin' happens to them." "Catherine?" "!" "Catherine!" " Where's the baby?" " She's upstairs." "Eliot!" " What were you doing up?" " I had to finish my ironing." "You did?" "You're gonna come with Daddy now, okay?" "Eliot?" "Okay, it's all right!" "Okay, let's go." "Stay there!" "Keep your eye on the street!" " Where's Malone?" " On the stake-out." "He'll be here." " Who's this guy?" " He's on Malone's list." "He's okay." "Drive to the station." "She'll let you know where to go when you get there." "Take off your hat." "Anything happens, shoot first." "You understand me?" "Yes, Mr Ness." "Kiss." " Eskimo and butterfly, Dad." " Okay." "Now, go!" "Malone!" " Are they okay?" " Yeah." " You sure the cop's okay?" " He'd better be, he's my cousin." "I want to hurt the man, Malone!" "You hear me?" "!" "I want to take the battle to him." "I want to hurt Capone." "Well, then, a Merry Christmas, we've got some great news." "A huge international shipment's coming." "We've got the time, the place and the whole shebang." "Well, what are we doin' standing' here, then?" "How do you come by this information?" "That's the second rule of police work:" "if you want to keep a secret, don't tell the boss." "You know he's making over $3 million a year?" "But he's paid no taxes, nothing's in his name." "If we can establish any payments to him, we can prosecute him for income tax evasion." "What?" "I said, we can prosecute him for income tax evasion!" "Try a murderer for not paying his taxes?" "!" "Well, it's better than nothing." "All right." "How do we link him to the money?" "I don't know." "Go to sleep, Oscar." "A convoy of 5-10 trucks with good Canadian whiskey will be met by a high-level member of the Capone organisation." "He will be bringing full payment for the shipment in cash." "Now, the meet is to take place just over the border on the American side." "We want to confiscate the liquor and the cash." " Captain?" " We will await their signal." "When they're on the road and have given the signal, we will engage from the Canadian side of the bridge." "Thus taking them by surprise from the rear." "And surprise, as you very well know, Mr Ness, is half the battle." "Surprise is half the battle." "Many things are half the battle." "Losing is half the battle." "Let's think about what is all the battle." "Let's take the fight to them, gentlemen!" "Thank you, Captain." "All right!" "Move out!" "Take it easy." "Take it easy!" "It'll all happen in time." "This is the job." "Don't wait for it to happen, don't even want it to happen." "Just watch what does happen." "Are you my 'tutor'?" "Yes, sir, that I am." " Did you check it already?" " Yes, I did." "Then leave it alone." "You're a good cop, Giuseppe." "You're doing good." "You're gonna do just fine." " Wallace, are you cold?" " Yes, I am, a little." "Then stamp your feet." "It'll keep you warm." "You learn something, 20 years walking the beat." "Stitches and standing in the rain..." "Listen, Mr Ness..." "I had an idea." "You all have your spare shells?" "If you have to fire, hold low and squeeze." "And put your man down." "Because he'll do the same to you." "Shoot to kill." " Did you hear what I said?" " Yes, I did." "Shoot to kill." "Let's go." "Easy..." "The Canadians will not show until I flash the badge." "So we must cover the ground to the bridge as quickly as possible." "George, the count's right." "I'm concerned about the size of these barrels!" "Malone, you and I will take the men..." "Move it!" "Move it, Georgie!" "Get over here!" "Leave the stuff in the cars!" "Charge!" "What the hell!" "You got to die of somethin'" " Look!" "Here they come!" " Mounties!" "Let's get out of here!" "Move, move!" "Let's go!" "I can't believe it!" " Here are the codes." " Give me that." "Don't let those cars off the bridge!" "Stone, take the first car!" "Get this shit out of the way!" "Tough guy!" "Stone!" "Go!" "Stone!" "I'm okay." "You thugs!" "You all right?" "Yeah." "There he is!" "Go get him!" "All right!" "Enough of this running shit!" "Well, Georgie-boy!" "Well, what have we got here?" "Hello." "All right!" "Drop the gun!" "Put your hands in the air, you're under arrest." "I said, drop it!" "Stop!" "God, didn't ya hear what I said?" "!" "What are you, deaf?" "!" "What is this, a game?" "!" "Here." "Sit down." "Stone's gonna be all right." "I got the fellow with the satchel." " I had to kill him." " Oh, yeah." "He's as dead as Julius Caesar." " Would you rather it was you?" " No, I would not." "Well, then you've done your duty." "Go home and sleep well tonight." "The things you see when you're out without your gun." "Now you're a long way from the Southside, George." "I'm talkin' to you." "Did you come here to open a shooting gallery?" "I want you to write down the names of your superiors and contacts." "Why don't you kiss my ass?" " Perhaps you didn't hear me." " Eliot?" " You've broken the law..." " Eliot!" "You can be tough in Leavenworth for 30 years." " You're going inside for all day!" " Is that what you want?" " Eliot!" " What?" "!" "Look at this!" " Look at this!" " What is this?" "What is this?" "You got a lot of money changing hands in this book." "What is this, 'war'?" "And 'police precincts'" "And you got a heading here..." "'Circuit Court'" "You got a heading here, 'Circuit Court' What is this?" "Nothin' There's nothin' you can make out of it." "If any of these coded entries indicate payment to Capone, then we can put Capone away." " Which entry is Al Capone?" " A. Costa, is that his code name?" "You'll do the whole thing in the joint unless you help us." "Translate this ledger for us!" " In hell." " In hell?" "!" "You will hang high unless you cooperate." "This man can finger Al Capone, put him behind bars." "Why don't you guys just fuck off?" "!" "I'm not fuckin' with you!" "We'll have that information one way or another." " Not that way." "Out." " You're gonna talk!" "You're gonna be beggin' to talk!" " You dirty son-of-a-bitch!" " Enough out of you." "Hey, come on, you, on your feet!" "I need you to help me to translate this book!" "I'm not gonna ask you a second time." "I'm gonna count to three." "What's the matter?" "Can't you talk with a gun in your mouth?" "One." "Two!" "Three." "I'm gonna talk!" "Don't !" "I'm gonna tell ya whatever ya want." "What do ya want to know?" "Now, don't let him clean himself until after he talks." "Now, ask him what you want to know." "All right..." "Okay, I want to know the name of the bookkeeper." "I want a complete translation of the code." "I want a complete..." "Mister Ness!" "I do not approve of your methods!" "Yeah?" "Well, you're not from Chicago." " What?" " They got the shipment." " What?" "!" " They got the whole shipment." " I want that son-of-a-bitch dead!" " We're trying to locate..." "What am I, alone in this world?" "Did I ask you what you're tryin' to do?" "I want you to get this fuck where he breathes!" "I want Eliot Ness dead!" "I want his family dead, his house burnt to the ground!" "I want to piss on his ashes!" "Look at this guy, this guy, he's so serious." " Well, he's got a lot on his mind." " He does?" " Yes." " Like what?" "Like what his name is." "John, I thought that was all settled." "I thought we liked John." "I suppose his middle name will be Law." "No...it'll be Edgar." " It'll be J. Edgar..." " I don't think so." "God, you're beautiful." "You should have seen us last night." "I know." "I should have been here." "I wanted to be here." "I know." "I understand, I do." "Just tell me, are you being careful?" " Careful as mice." " Are you making progress?" " Progress?" " Yes?" "Mrs Ness, I think your husband just became the man who got Al Capone." "Gentlemen!" "A subpoena was issued for Alphonse Capone by my office this morning, for the crime of evading and conspiring to evade Federal Income Tax." " What's the maximum he could get?" " If convicted on all counts," "Mr Capone could have up to 28 years." "Excuse me, that's all." "Thank you." "The car's in the yard." "When ya get him there, don't answer the phone." " We'll call, let it ring..." " Twice." " We'll call..." " From the corner." " Anybody knocks on the door..." " Come out shooting." "I got it." "You enjoy the tactical aspects of law enforcement, Oscar?" "Much more diverting than accounting." "I'm bein' good to you, you got to be good to me." "We made a deal, we're gonna stick to it, okay?" "Oh, yes, much more diverting than accounting." "Okay, we see yous tonight." "All right, all the way down and no stops." "...he's been saying, "I will speak up."" "For which I must commend the excellent work of Eliot Ness and his squad of Untouchables." " What was it, a boy or a girl?" " Boy." " Congratulations!" "What's his name?" " John." " John?" " Yeah." "John James." " So she's okay?" " Yeah, she's okay." "In fact, when she gets out, she wants to repaint the house." "Then she'll find the house too small, you'll have to move." " Goodness, it's nice to be married." " If you can stand the pain." "Mr Burns, where's Mr Wallace?" "Didn't you see him?" "He just went down in the service elevator." " You keep an eye out at all times..." " Take it easy, we'll be fine." "They are going to..." " Did he say the service elevator?" " Yes." " Wallace!" "Wallace!" " Here, let's take the stairs." "Oh, no." " No, no!" " Easy..." "Easy!" "Oscar." "Oh, Jesus." "You gonna be all right?" "It's always a crime when a young guy goes down in the line, Jimmy." "I'd hate to see it happen to someone I know." "Sometimes it's better not to get involved." "Jimmy!" "Take a day off." "Get out of the city for a while." "You know what I mean?" " Al Capone." " We have no Mr Capone..." " I know, get him." " We have no Mr Capone..." "I said..." " Something you want here?" " My friend was killed today." " I don't care." " You don't care." "Now he does." "Come on here, Capone." "You want to fight?" "You and me, right here?" "That's it, come on!" "You afraid to come out from behind your men, to stand up for yourself?" " You want to do the mat now?" " Yeah!" "Come on, you son-of-a-bitch!" " What?" " Easy." "You talk to me like that in front of my son?" "Fuck you and your family!" "Easy." "It's me." "It's me!" "Not this way." "You fuck, you got nothin' You're nothin' but talk and a badge." "You're here because you got nothin' in court, no bookkeeper, nothin'" "If you were a man, you would've done it now!" "You got nothin' you punk!" "Well, no, I understand." "Believe me, I understand." "Well, what's happened?" "He says he can't be unprotected." "What is it that the guy says?" "He says he won't make a fool out of himself, and he won't go into court without a witness." "So tomorrow morning the D.A. will announce that he's dropping the case." " He's gonna give up." " He won't do it without a witness." "We have Wallace's files and the ledgers." "There's a time when I think you have to cut your losses." "Hello?" "Hello." "Yes." "No, he didn't have a family." "How is everything there?" "No, you do it however you want." "I promise I will." "You give her my love." "I love you, too." "Mr Ness, we got a ledger here listing payments to Chicago City officials." " We got Al Capone, Frank Nitti..." " I think that's enough for today." " If we don't stay on top..." " That'll do." "Thank you." "I'd like to request to stick around." " We got to bust these guys." " I know we got to." "Is that it?" " I'm sorry?" " You heard me." "My question is, are we done?" "Yes, I think we're done." "So we sat in at a game that was above our head?" "It appears so." "It appears so to Mr Wallace." "He's dead!" "And the D.A. is gonna drop the case!" "He will not go into court without a witness and without Capone's bookkeeper, Walter Payne." " What are you prepared to do now?" " What would you have me do?" "I have taken this as far as it can go." " What did your wife want?" " She wanted to know if I was..." " My wife?" " Yeah." "She wanted to know if I was all right." "It's nice being married, eh?" "Yes." "She's sitting in some room surrounded by people she doesn't know, going over..." "kitchen colour charts or something." "Some part of the world still cares what colour the kitchen is." "Eliot, I want you to do one more thing for me." "Get back to the D.A. and stall him." " Wait a minute, stall him with what?" " Just do as I say." "I think I know how to find this guy." "Walter?" "Al says we got to get out of town until he can fix this subpoena thing." "We're leavin' tonight." "Two ball, down." "Mike, you got a minute?" "I do now, don't I?" "And what are you doin' in a club for cops, Jimmy?" "This is a place for cops." "Can we step outside?" "All right, all right, but I got nothin' to say to ya." "Where the hell are we going, for a swim?" "Get out of the rain, you fool." "What?" "What?" "!" "I just need one more piece of information." "One more?" "Jimmy!" " I just risked my life for ya." " I need to find that bookkeeper." "Are you crazy?" "Y ou're crazy." "I warned you to get out of town." " If they knew it was me, I'm dead." " I need to find that bookkeeper." "You're fuckin' nuts, man!" "You're out of your fuckin' mind!" "And I tried to save your life." "Get your hands off." "You owe me, Jimmy, I don't owe you nothin'" " My people are being killed." " We're your people!" "You?" "!" "You fuckin' run with the dagos!" "They've ruined this town." "For ten years I can't say that I'm a cop for the shit that's goin' on!" "Ah, bullshit!" "Fuckin' bullshit!" "Look at yourself!" "Look at yourself!" "Go on and live the charade, with your soft clothes and federal stooges." " What do you think he's gonna do?" " Keep your mouth off that!" "I need to know where this guy is, and I need to know now!" "I'm gonna rat you out for all the shit that I know that you've done!" "I'm gonna turn you over!" " This is a dead man talkin' to me." " Is it?" "You're dead." "Who the hell do ya think ya are?" "I'll have your ass hangin' from the flagpole in the mornin'" "Let's cut the woofing, pal." "You tell me, or you're going to hospital or the fuckin' morgue!" "You're gonna fight it out and we'll have a case." "Yes?" "On what basis?" "I'm not gonna make a fool..." "Don't tell me about makin' a fool out of yourself." "I have men out there risking more than that." "We have a lead, and we are following that lead at risk to more than our standing." "So don't you dare stop now." " Yeah, Stone." " Give me Ness." "He's at the D.A. 's." "Tell him I know where Payne is and to meet me at my place." " Al!" "Al!" " Mr Capone!" " What about that court case?" " I'm gonna tell ya somethin'" "Somebody messes with me, I'm gonna mess with him." "Somebody steals from me, I'm gonna say 'you stole' not talk to him for spitting' on the sidewalk." "You understand?" "Now, I have done nothing to hurt these people." "But they're angered at me." "So what do they do?" "Doctor up some income tax, for which they got no case, to annoy me." "To speak to me like men?" "No." "To harass a peaceful man." "I pray to God that if I ever have a grievance," "I would have just a little more self respect." "I'll tell you one more thing." "In an all-out prize fight, when one guy's left standing, that's how you know who won." "Isn't that just like a wop?" "Brings a knife to a gun fight." "Get out of here, ya dago bastard!" "Go on, get your ass out of here!" "Shots!" "Shots!" "I heard shots!" "Stay back, everybody stay back, right now." "Round the back." "Malone!" "Malone." "Goddamn!" "Stone!" "Stone!" "The phone!" "Oh, God." "Call an ambulance!" "This is Stone, Treasury Department, 1634 Racine, we need an ambulance." " What?" " 1634 Racine!" "This?" "You want this?" "You want this?" "What?" " Bookkeeper." " What?" " Book..." " The bookkeeper?" " Bookkeeper!" " The bookkeeper?" "What?" " The bookkeeper, he's on this train?" " Yes." "He's on this train." "Now!" "What are you prepared to do?" "!" "No." "Malone." "No." "Stay." "Stay." "Stay!" "Malone..." "No." "No, no!" "Not this..." "Not this man..." "Train's leavin' for Miami 12.05, Mr Ness." "We'll be there." "The bookkeeper's no good to us dead." " Stone?" " Yes, sir." "Cover the south entrance." "We're almost home." "We're almost home." "Your attention, please." "The Miami Flier departs at 12.05 from 33." "All aboard." "Stay right there." "Stay right there." "Stay right there." "Stay right there, honey." "Your attention, please." "The Miami Flier, leaving at 12.05, now boarding on track 33." "All aboard!" "Just here." "I'm just gonna leave this right here." "Your attention, please." "The Miami Flier, leaving at 12.05, is now boarding on track 33." "All aboard!" "One more." "Here we go." "Here we go." "You ready?" "I'm right here, honey." "Here we go." "Your attention, please." "May I have your attention, please?" "This is the final call for the Miami Flier, leaving at 12.05 on track 33." "All aboard!" " Here, let me." "Get your bags." " Oh, thank you so much." "Thank you." "Are you all right?" "Thank you." "You're such a gentleman." "It's so kind of you to help me." "I really wasn't sure if we'd make it or not." "Is there some problem I can help you with?" " No." " I really can't thank you enough." "Isn't this fun?" "You're being such a good boy, sweetheart." "Thank you again, this is so wonderful." "Thank you, sir." "Please, let me take it from here." "You've been such a great help." "Thank you so much." "We're almost there." "I'll take it from here, sir." "Thank you very much for your help." "Don't cry, sweetheart." "We're almost home." "Is something wrong?" "Sir?" "Come on!" "Come on, let's get out of here." " What are you doin'" " Shut up!" " What are you doin'" " Shut the fuck up!" " Hold it!" " Please..." " My baby!" " Stay there." "He's all right." "I said hold it!" "I'm walkin' out with the bookkeeper." "The bookkeeper and me are drivin' away." "See?" "Or else he dies." "He dies, and you ain't got nothin'" "You got five seconds to make up your mind." " I'll tell ya what ya want to know!" " Shut up!" "I'm not kiddin'" "He's crazy!" "Don't let him do this, I'll tell you what you want to know!" " You got him?" " Yeah, I got him." " One!" " Will you stop it!" "Take him." "Two." "The two coded entries in this ledger represent cash disbursement to all levels of city officials, members of the police and to Alphonse Capone." " That's correct." " Excuse me?" "I said that is correct." "And you will decipher these coded entries for us?" "I will." "Sorry, Mr Payne, I can't hear you." "I said, I will." "You were in charge of disbursements for Mr Capone?" "Yes, I was." "And you personally distributed monies... ..vast, undeclared monies... ..to Mr Capone?" "Yes, I did." "Would you tell us the amounts?" "In a three-year period I personally disbursed monies to Mr Capone in excess of one and a third million dollars." "Would you repeat that amount, please?" " One and a third million dollars." " Thank you very much." "I don't understand it." "What does Capone have?" "We're nailing the lid on his coffin, and he's smiling." "The son-of-a-bitch is wearing a gun in court." "Get me the bailiff." "It'll be a fast trial." "The man in the front row wearing a white suit is carrying a gun." "I don't want this to turn into something." "I'll lead you out." "Could we speak to you a minute, please?" " Get up against it." " You heard him." "Now, up against it!" " What's this?" " Empty all your pockets, all of it." " I've got a permit for that." " Fine, let's see it." " I'm not the one under indictment." " Everything on the table." " Let me see." " Give him his gun back." ""To Whom It May Concern." "Please extend to the bearer,"" ""Mr Frank Nitti, all possible courtesy and consideration."" ""William Thompson, Mayor of the City of Chicago."" "I'm sorry, Mr Ness, you'll have to give it back." "Fine." "But that man does not go back into that courtroom." " Do you understand me?" " Yes, sir." "1634 Racine..." "You know, I used to have a friend who lived there." "Don't ." "Let him go." " No!" " Here, take it." "Here I am, Treasury Man." "Come on!" "Harass me!" "What are you waitin' for?" "Don't just stand there!" "Harass me!" "Don't push me." " They're gonna burn you, buddy." " Yeah?" "Yeah." "I'm gonna come see you burn, you son-of-a-bitch!" "'Cause you killed my friend!" " He died like a pig." " What did you say?" "I said that your friend died screaming like a stuck Irish pig." "Now you think about that when I beat the rap." "Did he sound anything like that?" "One picture, come on, one picture." "Mr Ness, take a look at this." "Mr Ness?" "Mr Ness, are you doin' okay?" "I think you'd better see this." " What is it?" " That's the jury list, Mr Ness." "They've been bribed." "I got it out of Nitti's coat." "Where is Nitti?" "He's in the car." "This constitutes no evidence." "I'm not about to allow..." "Your Honour, the truth is that Capone is a killer and he will go free." "There is only one way to deal with such men, and that is hunt them down." "I have." "I have forsworn myself." "I have broken laws I swore to defend." "I am content that I have done right." "That man must be stopped, you must..." "I'll be the judge of what I must do, Mr Ness." "Would you excuse us?" " Bailiff." " Yes, sir." "I want you to go next door to Judge Hoffman's Court, where they've just begun hearing a divorce action." "I want you to bring that jury in here and take this jury to his court." " Are those instructions clear?" " Yes, sir, they're clear." "What's he talking about?" "Bailiff, I want you to switch the juries." "Your Honour, I object!" "Overruled." "What did you tell him?" "I told him his name was in the ledger, too." "His name wasn't in the ledger!" "Wait a second!" "Is this the law?" "What's goin' on here?" " You're out of order." " What's goin' on?" " I think..." " Do somethin' here." "What do I look like to you?" "Do somethin'" "Order!" "Your Honour, we'd like to withdraw our plea of Not Guilty, and enter a plea of Guilty." " Guiltý?" " Order in the court!" "Order!" "Bailiff!" "Bailiff!" "Bailiff, clear the courtroom!" "Eliot!" "Your Honour!" "Is that justice?" "Please, why did he switch the jury?" "Are you gonna go after the organisation?" "Excuse me." "I'm askin' Your Honour, is this justice?" "Is this justice?" "Never stop fighting till the fight is done." "What did you say?" "I said, never stop fighting till the fight is done." " What?" " You heard me, Capone." "It's over." "You're nothin' but a lot of talk and a badge." "Here endeth the lesson." "You're nothin' but a lot of talk and a badge!" "You're nothin' but a lot of talk and a badge!" "So much violence." "Cleaning up a little." "I guess this is goodbye." "Goodbye, George." "I want to...thank you for this." "No." "Thank you." "Mr Ness..." "I think he would have wanted you to have that." "He'd have wanted a cop to have it." "I'm going home." "Mr Ness!" "Any comment for the record?" "'The man who put Al Capone on the spot.'" "I just happened to be there when the wheel went round." "They say they're going to repeal prohibition." " What will you do then?" " I think I'll have a drink."

"film title:" "Green giant vast gram" "in 1966, desert base duplicates like this also uselessly" "I want to be responsible to the development of the human race is peaceful, how no matter you do study duplicates the person is a stupid idea" "must duplicate the person" "David, I have a good news" "I had the child" "What does here have?" "comes, to let them hit you do not frighten me is good, David, is not good" "he does not speak your head how?" "some people scold him, he only shake the head" "he or is shy" "How does this manage?" "Bruce is such does not have the means we find in the laboratory" "you can discover that is my work may I warn you many times" "is careful, system initiation also is unstable, everybody evacuates as soon as possible" "how?" "treasure" "David, what is that?" "no matter it" "What do you do?" "I no matter, no" "What did you say?" "David, leaves like this" "A nightmare" "I did not know that, does not remember comes had calculated, I can think you my also meeting comes has a look you, had to become the scientist immediately" "I guessed is" "I believed that, your in vivo has the strength special strength this may be different general with one day you to meet and the global share" "cloth ?" "atomic energy biochemistry institute" "I wanted to go watch other securities this may be very important you want to be careful you just had rested?" "is alright, Betty?" "in neighbor" "You should be clearest you but become scientist's material you have forgotten?" "I certainly to be sure in order to protect any only then to do dear, class Nepal" "I hate them how matter?" "we Tuesday must demonstrate" "I want you and I together what?" "How are you sure to like some simple questions sorry, I arrived not any Can very easy" "we closed!" "Closed?" "no matter what has been good, left such" "I only am want to solve the problem" "I can process is good" "I clear possibly can quite be bothersome" "I want to be able to have the result" "Austria Pu, you has a look" "What is?" "we have achieved the anticipated effect safe is a green, started release energy" "4 seconds has been good, next has been good, we have a look the radiant energy" "returns the nondetonation not any difference does not have the sound of something astir, right?" "A copy nuclear power responded that, increases 1%" "balanced GBW is normal we are preparing to report together should not worry" "You want ?" "the bar" "I only am said that, the frog drops from the clouds" "your father can be you arrogant is possible he possibly wants to work as pilot your parents?" "can know" "I also want to understand them your daddy" "Front was sensible in you dies" "I believed that is a sad matter could not have we returned to the past" "Betty, was good" "Betty, ?" "hello" "How were you?" "I like this work does not need with the person to quarrel this foot ?" "you already had a liking for is good" "likes the expert very much" "A happy university one day in is also busy" "How do you want?" "speaks frankly here I have not been interested the thing here only has the instrument you are willing for me to work wages is present ten times you so long as said a word is two" "was recently comes in and goes out the base name list" "What does this have to use?" "is your daughter, the senior official" "sorry you have seen class Nepal?" "he died" "I am a new person you good, hello" "I pat again, comes" "I too was tired you have a liking for are not tired how does not dare to imagine my dream" "said looked" "How does start?" "starts from the recollection from several year old of start" "you thought that merely is a dream is not lives in the base time my father meets that dream continues" "I am quite lonely" "this too was fearful nobody can injure you" "you are good, you call any" "is good, is all right" "we withstood" "CTJAG" "is Bruce my Bruce" "noon is peaceful you do any in here we should know" "I do not want to know you" "I am also same calculated" "how long no matter you do persist has two roads" "Is taken over control by me or hires oneself on own initiative I your work depended on you" "In this kind of function on the battlefield is useful pair of our significance only this we do the research for everybody one day me to read this book" "How university student does want to work as scientist you can come to help me" "How does gland manage?" "I do not want to discuss is good" "I only request you other to worry him right?" "I make the phone call to look for the daddy lets his Shi Tienya you spoke with the father he cannot say too many" "I did not know is where problem" "I am inspecting" "I come immediately" "too has been high, is unable to stop" "quickly exits" "Austria Pu how he was all right, is safe" "I worry you" "I did not know how this possibly does occur you originally should die they affected these elements" "I feel very well they cannot link up with you" "he only wants to understand I have eaten any" "I did not know what?" "I remember when the childhood good one side this 1. not good records" "I am staring at you you originally should die sorry, Betty, real" "I cannot explode you rests, I was all right from not that feels better like the present you do not call Kelin to think surname shell natrium what?" "Your name is called Bruce the shell natrium" "Bruce" "How do you come in this is very easy" "I and you are close very you understood very much do not get up, I come" "your innermost feelings are very chaotic did not know whether oneself lives you inside dream some things" "may all these not be easy to explain has traded my speech you should forgive me" "you were allowed to walk" "I cannot have the matter you do not dare to believe, but I knew" "penetrates your pair of mother's eye has the gloss very much may you also have to know other my child, my work" "you do not lie my daddy in childhood died in me that is not real" "That is an accident highest secret hid for 30 years does not let me work or see you they can work must know, each day-long work" "is I loves you this has also become your innermost feelings part present understood this cannot have the question other reply has some you to have to be clear you must leave female that are far 1." "exits" "Bruce, exits sits down" "we can help you" "you are all right, I am very good" "I and my daddy has said he must come to see me your daddy?" "When?" "After a hour is he makes the phone call to me" "daddy" "many thanks" "I or speak frankly is casual" "I or small least bit cannot have too many difficulties you are inquiring me only did not think you are surprised" "knew works the colleague with you is that accident creates question lies in you to understand his how many this is very important" "this I understood" "Must know that, I hoped your this really infers me you did not make a mistake, any" "I really infer you" "I really want to believe you" "you always are my in your innermost feelings" "here is greatly Doctor Linde please leave behind the verbal message" "Bruce, hello" "I have discussed with the father he suspects you" "How don't I know a matter is possible he in the plan is good, goodbye" "Where is he at, opens fire" "how?" "I want to chat with him how matter?" "Bruce" "Did whether any thing explode has destroyed the room is you dry" "I am all right last night how matter?" "I have a dream liked the rebirth to be same" "I greatly shout, my palpitation good is heavy" "you have said with the others?" "does not have but I liked get sick have been same what?" "that newly comes old person said is my father" "I go" "morning greetings was you" "Your laboratory last night how?" "we exit discuss" "I want to keep here" "Betty, cannot have the matter" "I very quickly come back" "how your friend was ruined he" "I may affirm you must be careful" "recently several days did not have to approach him" "I am am hello" "we are a person which newly comes for that is good, many thanks" "Betty, inconceivable please enter sorry, has not knocked your gate" "I am ask some" "I not too thought they said with you is he says is good" "Bruce last night in laboratory you also went" "I want to know has had any you want to know how he was" "any change he my father is the militaries he worried can have the threat to the national security your father Branse we have had the social dealings" "Did you how possibly understand your situation what?" "don't that said my son is alone works" "therefore he has a better reason" "But you are dissimilar" "you are a beautiful woman" "can have many people to pay attention this foot ?" "likes your eye to be same stares at some person such affection" "might all these too be late this is not does for him or is you" "other, his matter has nothing to do with with me that is his choice sorry, I have exactly must be dry other worries him leaves his eye goodbye he has released own has destroyed the laboratory may now you tell me him to be at" "I want to help you calculated" "is I expels your father also may catch up with you to walk understands?" "!" "I really do not remember" "I said daddy has died you only have 4 year old of big" "saw, any did this how possibly forget what?" "you record seriously tells me" "sorry, your demand time" "no matter how, your laboratory is the military is highly secret" "other laboratories are actually different" "also has a matter if you approach my daughter again" "I can torment to death you" "dog" "I keep off in front of you" "you are good, Bruce they did not believe you is same on the picture to me" "I how he has looked for me might I be wrong you have created me you want to know many you must know" "In such situation" "I am unable to understand oneself if they do not let my peaceful entire job" "I had no way to live" "you have such bequeathed me is" "I believed you can understand but that also has the infinite strength" "I also want to have you did not understand also does not have the side effect your itself receives destroys may you not be able to destroy you they not that thought also has Betty she to look for me she has looked up your gene" "I thought such ?" "so long as stably gets down, has the strength my gene how?" "this is a complex compound" "I do not listen pine opens me" "I in converse with you my father saw your Betty you thought who you are" "Useless you are bloody fool you could harm the others also could harm own" "lets loose me you let me let be angry right?" "you saw these dogs" "I have killed them" "my day this kind of sequela we never have seen again deep somewhat" "I believed already had" "What do you refer to?" "I and they are different is all right" "is my daddy puts them he wants me to change" "I really did not want to stay behind" "What can you also change?" "this likes a dream any dream strength, frightened" "daddy!" "Betty you are all right?" "I a little feared needs you to help" "Where are you at?" "you have been good 1.?" "good" "I want to be because of yours anger" "possibly this is very difficult to say" "a little likes your innermost feelings memory" "your father has threatened me" "I possibly can understand real is may I really not remember this lets me worry very much your function" "How should this manage?" "must start the new life" "What do you know me to fear?" "when it controls me473 01:10:30,134 -- 01:10:34,127 I am unable to extricate oneself" "I like such" "how?" "Sorry you should rest a while" "cannot have the matter" "Bruce" "goods have transported, starts" "this does not close your matter but I.." "I am your daddy you should believe me you are individual, he is a monster this does not suit him may I know he has rescued my life calculated, I believed oneself he harmed three people to enter the hospital" "How do you want me?" "I want you to help him" "Why do you fear him?" "Do I know him from where his father is also same" "although did not acknowledge may they be a group" "this useless you worry his daddy" "I said "bastard"" "is may I be a scientist" "I believed he is may help the person" "I understood you do not worry often is actually easy to occur this too was big to your pressure if the government believes him he died decides lets me help him" "I understand him" "David is not also same?" "here how?" "my hand, has inherited my son's gene is interesting looks" "I have the interest very much how matter?" "portable comes up you slowly comes519 01:19:01,645 -- 01:19:06,639 you really believed I am separated" "Where am I at?" "in home" "really does not dare to believe" "I almost did not remember you" "this is a room which last night we treated" "we walk tries" "What is that?" "Not any real that is another question is at" "What do you want to know?" "is my room" "you feared what sees?" "sees?" "Spatial not any" "he has not entered the password he is a threat may this be in the base" "I do not dare you must the command prompt" "I really do not dare to believe has many strength greatly infinite people" "How does this calculate a matter?" "Which part does know the worst" "I cannot give the second opportunity he has understood?" "How should I manage?" "goes home originally wants to say goodbye may I answer all questions is good" "you are good, must help?" "How do you want?" "this is a good question" "I need your help you may change once more green likelihood your such may make money" "I cannot, but you did not have the opportunity you feared" "I may be glad to accompany" "I only then have like this must win the heart" "I cannot easily give up other worry" "I cannot let off you this is not the good opening but is very useful comes, has a look your a little any" "you may control him that also was a story" "good, has a look the cerebrum to be partial" "welcome you to come back has two guards you Don't worry" "I do not live your gas" "How do you want?" "I have not had other thoughts" "Bruce is also same therefore I look for you asks you urge you the father" "I if return normally, he is not willing to put me" "whether or not lets me see the son sees finally one side may?" "he in my daddy hand" "I understood he has attended to the puppet you should not blame the son should blame you this does not have any my meeting" "I am refer oneself have not referred to him understands?" "I must change my life also is only knows the truth the way he does not have possibly understands that has exceeded own request other person also can be afraid" "pair of life fear fear, possibly" "I am also same" "I felt may I also live, I won" "wife, the children are all same" "I may distinguish his condition" "I am his father this is very important" "I should prevent him might under the hand that is my mistake" "I will think the future all" "I good take all these" "might that all I be defeated" "I remember that one day each time" "I all have that thought" "he is intelligent" "I have harmed her" "you are unable to imagine at that time my train of thought 621 01:31:45,408 -- 01:31:50, 402 I all precious stayed behind 622 01:31:51,414 -- 01:31:53, 416 I understood" "that not only is a memory" "he was making the nightmare starts to test" "value dropped adds on" "is also safe?" "is not good, I could not control" "let him sleep" "this useless" "is called the security guard to come, must hold on him" "senior official heaven, telephone" "converses on the telephone with me, ?" "you control him personnel had to evacuate tin to general's speech?" "?" "has been good, we relax the spot" "I most liked playing this" "looks at me" "heaven whole personnels alert" "goal is moving evacuation main channel personnel" "uses the heavy weapon" "senior official, useless" "is careful" "leads him to walk, senior official makes him to exit lets him leave" "to front" "is careful, he came" "Mr. President" "I have the not too good news how, general" "I know president am a person which easy to lose one's temper had understood, I request the reinforcements that angry giant not too is sturdy request all strengths forbid his activity you are want to let the common people have the casualties" "but does not have the question is good, agreed carries on" "does not contact with on him, that useless relates HQ667 01:41:26,989 -- 01:41:31,983 requests all inhabitant to evacuate" "653-2 frequency channel" "confirms this local already security security, safe" "starts to take action prevents the goal motion" "heaven" "prays for rescue, prays for rescue" "machine crashes he is attacking quickly gets out of the way" "we requested opens fire leaves he is careful" "attack" "second turn of start my already attack run position" "spot" "wilfully opens fire three attacks, launches the missile" "he walked" "I saw he has held the missile prays for rescue, prays for rescue" "we fall in under discovery goal attack he moves too quickly pinpoints is tracking entered the grotto area" "missile takes place carries on the search" "this is the control center goal has not been destroyed understood good is fierce" "this we finish him hello treasure, he faced there you to come careful" "I early arrived is good, that do not move" "Left side is observing" "wilfully opens fire sees the civil passenger plane" "I saw clearly, I had to hit" "leads away him" "understood" "I crawl to 3,600 altitudes continuation receives he lost consciousness immediately" "I saw him" "A person" "He entered the water must find him" "daddy, Betty we are no other alternative must massacre him he only can change formidable may he be able to offend somebody, this is you clear lets me and he chats asked you gives me an opportunity" "in San Francisco discovery goal all airplanes enter ?" "in 170 streets discoveries goal" "discovery goal" "we have prepared for attack we have prepared for" "looked at you forbids to open fire" "you have found me you are not certainly difficult to look" "comes, to put on" "issues an order until president so long as sits on the chair then principle cannot let him attractively" "leaves here only to have 300 yards if arranges the radar definitely to suffer injury he came" "this is prepares for you, Betty although has made the worst plan" "I early should kill you was I early should kill you she how" "I last night saw her her face brown hair brown eye, but also flushes me to smile she kisses my cheek" "I also remember her smell likes in the desert the flower to be same she most likes perfume" "that is my" "I saw is, yes" "did not be sad" "treasure do not bump me you are not my daddy you are not nice I right?" "I am not come for you" "I am see my son my genuine son in your heart of hearts you are not he my may recognize778 02:00:49,651 -- 02:00:54,645 I thought this ?" "tin of I said" "I am for you earnestly looks at me this is not your mistake is the gene is unstable you need the strength was I has given you the life now you must also give me" "I needed it" "I must change strongly stops, how?" "Outside has a look the army group of pitiful unimportant people they have actually controlled the society we have done any pair of I, to you they actually go die" "vanishes too was good they can die" "but we can become the hero becomes the Earth to control this foot ?" "called don't again you also are only individual" "really big tone circular telegram" "once more electric shock senior official, did not have the electric power" "After enters attacks" "senior official, the radar discovers two goals tracks them" "too has been good, continues to hit dozen fiercer is better" "is strange, there ice is not low but actually has too moves that is the boundary zone" "silence, Bruce then gives yours strength I" "I all capture completely captures" "is, yes" "is, yes, all seizes" "throws the bomb" "bomb has released" "did not fear" "After a year" "hello" "Betty, is you?" "daddy" "I very happily send a telegram for you many thanks" "Betty, you and I all believed" "Bruce possibly runs away that as soon as to plunder" "But, you knew how?" "all reply the original design right?" "he very possibly lived also can attempt to contact with you wants to contact with you when the time comes tells me not" "I cannot say" "I do not have that necessity has in my computer" "I can tell you if you hoped he lives" "I think him very much" "I love him is" "I understood sorry, Betty" "I knew" "moves out these medicines do not move, sits down" "we need this batch of medicine you thought who needs these people help the enemy" "is possible you also is all takes away this is the government belongings you let me get angery at the appointed time you understood"

"Oh, yeah." "I've been round the block." " Really?" " Believe it." "Sowed me oats." "Acted the rip, the rapscallion." "Ran wild, ran free." "Of course, this all back in the days of yore." "Right." "You wouldn't think it to look at you." "Yeah, well, time comes, you have to leave behind the old hell-raising." "Take some responsibility for your life." " Prepare the groundwork." " How do you do that?" "Well, to begin with, I'd say by nest-building." "You have to find an abode you feel secure in." "Then you have to furnish that abode... procure the necessaries:" "Furniture, etc." "Kitchen utensils, your wok your juicers." " What about love?" "Well, love's not something you can plan for, is it?" "Look all you like as long as you like... but it's only when you let your guard down..." " When you least expect..." " That you find someone." "Take myself for example." "You ever see me before?" "No." "I've just ambled in, right?" "But who's to say by tomorrow, you and me couldn't... and I'm not coming on to you or anything... but who's to say we couldn't be head-over-heels?" "Dancing in the Green?" " Nobody." " Right." " When there's something there..." " Chemistry." "Right." "Who knows where the sparks will lead?" "A fella like myself, a stranger... could just be a bit of fun in the sack, no more." "Or, and it's not that crazy... your soul mate." "Yeah, you've got a point." "On the other hand, I could just be a thief or something." "What do you mean?" "Some villain, just waiting for my chance to... smack your jaw and rob the register while the place is empty." "But this is the thing of it, see?" "You just never know... what's gonna happen." "Come here." "Look at your top!" "How many fucking times do I have to tell you?" "It's all over you." "What are you doing?" "Get back over here before I fucking slap you..." "Get out of the way!" "He's heading for the stairs." "Come on, youse humpy cunts." "Get out of my fucking way." "He's running out to the car park." "Come back here with that!" "Get out of the car!" "Get out of the fucking car!" "Shouldn't you have been here last time round?" "I should have, but fuck it." "An hour late." "An hour less there, man." "Fucking dump." "Don't start." "You the same?" "Fucking bus, fucking city." "Here's this fuck now." " Is it too early to use my pass?" " You know it is." "How much is it to the barn?" "You know how much." "Come on, there's people here late." "Another 10 cents." "Come on." " Will youse come on?" " Hold your..." "Hurry up." "Now." "You robbing bastard, you." " How's Cathy?" " She ordered in a kitchen." " You're joking." "New floor not enough?" " Do you believe her?" "You wanna see this floor, though." "Oak slats, lovely grain running through it." "Trouble is, this shit costs, and there's only so much overtime going." " Fucking shit." " It's all shit, man." "Fucking life." "Mega brand kidney beans, baked beans, butter beans." "Any two for the price of one." "It's a reduction rampage." " What did you say?" " I say, 'Why not?" "'" "She says, "Because you're not my type"." "I say, "Well, what is your type?"" "You know what she said?" ""Everything you're not"." "Jesus." "Didn't score in a single department." "Fucking wank, man." " Next time?" " What?" "That's easy enough for you to say, sitting pretty as you are, man." " What?" " Sitting pretty." "You've Deirdre there..." "Oscar, me and Deirdre broke up." " What?" "When?" " Few weeks back." "Weeks?" "Why didn't you tell me then?" "How the hell did it happen?" "It was felt we should take a bit of a break." "Felt by who?" "By her, yeah?" "John." "Oscar." "Are youse not clocking back on?" "Oh, yeah." "Hang on." "Youse clocked on 15 minutes ago." "Get back on that floor, youse little pups." "That's a strike now against each of you." "John." "That's your second, after your lateness this morning." "One more, and a certain ass will be kicked." "I shit you not, as they say in the States." "So, yeah, that was the only place left." "And it was cheap as well." "But Henry wouldn't take it because they rape white women there." " Who does?" " I don't know." "Everyone." "Henry said some fella he knows was driving round there... him and his girlfriend." "They were stopped by the cops." "One held a gun on him, the other one raped her." "And then they switched." " They raped him, too?" " No." " Oh, the coppers switched." " Yeah." "So you know, that's that." "No sun this year." "Might go down to Wexford or something." "What about you and..." "Did you ever smell these?" "Smell lovely, they do." "Me and Deirdre?" " Youse broke up, didn't you?" " How did you know?" "That's all right then." "I saw her with some fella at the Zombie last night." "Who?" "Some middle-aged fella." "Kissing." "Some baldy fella." " Kissing a baldy fella?" " Holding hands and all, yeah." "Wexford isn't that bad, is it?" "Get a caravan down there, couple of weeks." "What do you think?" "If the sun comes out, sure we can paddle." "John." "Come on, man." "Where is the baldy cunt?" "Where is he?" "Sorry, Deirdre." "This isn't acceptable, Deirdre." "After what, five, six weeks?" "This is bollocks." "You don't fucking..." "You don't just hook up with the next fella walks by!" "The only reason you would do that is if you never cared the first place." "And that's cold, man." "That is the behavior of... and I have no qualms about saying it, a whore." "And not with a heart of gold." "No, with a heart of stone." "A cold, dark fucking black heart, Deirdre." "That's what you have." "And I'm glad I found out." "A dirty, black..." " Does 'blackguard' come from blackheart?" " Don't know, man." "You all right?" "You blackguard, Deirdre." "That's all you are." "Do you hear me?" "Just a dirty fucking blackguard." "The body compensates, son." "Instead of mobility, I've increased perception:" "Sight and sound, smell, of course." "It's a fair trade, and I wouldn't go back." "Come on." "Come on, a sup." "Taste, that's another one." " Have you ever tasted Guinness?" " Of course." "No you haven't." "You think you have." "Listen, I've gotta go, man." "Sorry and all, but my arm is fucked." " All right, boys." " We're not holding your pint." "Why not?" " Because then we've to listen to you." " Wise to my ploys, aren't youse?" "I thought it was her who wanted to take the break." "How're you, Seamus?" "Two brown sauce sambos." "Slap it on thick, no butter, two pints of Guinness." " Right." " Know what I mean?" "No, it was me." "I just thought I'd give her a little test, you know?" "I say to her, "Let's take a break"." "She says, "Let's not"." "Then I know, see?" " John." " What?" "What kind of fuckhead are you?" " That pisses me all the way off." " Why?" "Could you not appreciate what you fucking had?" "I'm at a stage, man, I can't even wank." "Two brown sauce sambos." " You know?" " Cheers, Seamus." "Pulling away like a madman, man." "Two pints." "Half an hour, 45 minutes, nothing fucking happens." "Can't get my fantasies clear in my head." "Couple of occasions, I don't mind telling you..." "I wept like a woman, the fucking frustration." "So you setting tests for Deirdre, man... taking for granted your good fucking fortune... that disappoints me big style." " I'm gonna go home, you mind?" " You're what?" "What you said there is right, man." "Hundred per cent." " You've just sent me into a state of turmoil." " Wistful, are you?" "Among other emotions." " Need to go home and reflect on my choices." " You do what you have to do, man." "See you." "Fair play, man." "Right." "Throw us on the floor." "Gently." "Lovely." "Come here and I'll tell you." "You there!" " So how goes the fight against crime?" " All right." "It's never-fucking-ending, though." "See what I mean?" "Have you not got a sign that says, 'Toilets for patrons' use only'?" "I do." "I'll have to enforce that rule." "Give us another 7-UP there, will you?" "All right, Lehiff?" "Staying out of trouble?" "Jesus." "Doesn't look like it." "Who did that to you?" "Your old one, man." "She poked me in the eye with her cock." "You cheeky little fuck, you." "I'm watching you, do you hear me?" "And if I find out that you've been in any way bold..." "I'm gonna nab you." "Now don't move." "Stay where you are and take your scolding." "Now, what do I want you to do?" "Stay out of trouble." "Stay out of trouble." "That's right." "Fucking disrespect my old one." "Now, hang on till I shake." "All right." "Go on." "So what's wrong with me?" "What did I do?" " Or didn't I do?" " I told you, Noeleen, nothing." " It's just something that..." " Yeah, that happened." "You said that already, and I don't believe you." "Is it my age?" "Is it something I wouldn't do?" "Is it my looks?" "Wait a second." "Look, don't you..." "Wait!" "Don't you fancy me anymore?" "Look." "Listen to me." "It's nothing to do with you." "I fancy her, I fell for her." "We clicked, and we wanna be together." "You don't come into the equation, so relax." "Of course I come into the equation." "I'm your wife, for God's sake!" "I'm your wife, Sam!" "14 years!" "What the hell did I do?" " So this fella's moving in with you?" " Yes." "Well, what do you want me to do?" "Be like Sally?" "Give up on them altogether, grow myself a 'tache?" " Sally doesn't..." " Sally has a 'tache, Ma." "Whatever she did before, bleached or waxed, she's quit." "Anyway, I'm better off." "Did you know John and Oscar broke into Fruitfield a few months back... stole a crate load of Chef Sauce?" "And I know that wasn't the only time." " Chef Sauce?" " It was all they could get." "I'd be over at his place, he's making sauce sandwiches." "Putting it in his cornflakes." "Trying to use it all up." "In his tea." "I mean, he dumps me, Ma, breaks my heart... and then has the gall to come over and call me a whore and a blackguard... for not taking the fucking vows?" "Well, fuck him." "Him and his brown sauce." "Sorry, Ma." "But I've got a guy who's well-off, who's attractive..." " Who's married." " Well, you can't have it all." "Who's not a thief, but a bank manager." "And if he wants to move in with me... then I think I'd be some kind of a fool to say no." "Now, I'm gonna have the carrot cake." "What are you having?" "All right, my friends, do Daddy proud." "Show them what you've got." "All right." "You lads ready?" "And action!" "Come on, guys, we've been through this before." "They'll get it, lads, just give them a second." "Don't fuck up on me here." "Go!" "For fuck's sake, how many times have we rehearsed this, youse fucks." "Go!" "Get down." "Martin, get back in the box." "Don't fight." "Benny, get off him." " It is Little Big City, isn't it?" " Yeah." "That's what it's called." "Which says to me, yeah, stories, yeah, characters." " There's a broad spectrum there." " Diverse." "And that's what we're doing and that's fine." "But where that diversity is lacking is tone." " What are you saying?" " Tone, Thomas." "Texture." "What I'm saying is, let's go a bit darker now and again." "Find a subject with a little bit more of an edge... and explore that edge with the weight it deserves." "What do you think?" " A bit darker?" " Just a bit." "Just to spice the thing up." "Give it some depth, some complexity..." "I know what you mean." "All right." "Go find a subject, bring it to me." "If it's not too much, then I don't see why not." " Good enough?" " Absolutely." "What about this, Sally?" "When's the last time you saw me in a dress?" "Give me a voucher." "A gift voucher, please." " How much?" " Sorry?" " How much for?" " €100, please." " No hundreds left." "Do you want two fifties?" " Please." " No fifties." "Five twenties do you?" " Fine." "Grab it." "It's a sty, my life." "The people I deal with are piss." "Waste." "Is that what you're interested in?" "I'm a fuck, man." "I mean... my only really human quality to speak of is a fondness for Celtic mysticism." "What's that?" "The music, man." "Artistes like..." "Fainne Lasta, Raithneach, Amhann na Ngealach, Clannad." "You like them artistes?" "Their music?" "Of course you do." "But what I'm saying is, the kind of justice I'm questing... requires a certain attitude that people might find... you know, extreme or unpleasant." "It might not be suitable." "Grab it." " You ever compete?" " Just as a kid." "I could have turned pro... except for I joined the Guards, made crime my calling." "My da used to say, "Hate your opponent"." "He was my trainer." "'Hate him, and you'll never give less than 100%.'" "That's a philosophy I still follow." "That's why I'm such an animal, man." " Is that what you want for your show?" " Yes." " Cool." " It's exactly what I want." "I just have to run it by my boss." "Get the go off him and then we can..." "Run it by him." "Let him know I'm up for it, big time." "Fucking underbelly, you're saying?" "No better fucking guide, man." " You nearly finished?" " Midnight." "Yourself?" " About 10 minutes." " You lucky prick." "Gonna pick up a chicken black bean, spring roll starter..." "Will you come on?" "We've homes to go to." " Do you hear this?" " I know." "You'd think we were dogs or something." " Are we moving or what?" " Will youse wait a minute?" "Fuck's sake." "Listen, take it easy, yeah?" "Where are we?" "I can't see." "We near Springfield yet?" "I'll give you a shout." "I was thinking we'd throw you a birthday party." "What do you think?" "I don't want one, Ma." "Don't believe in that party fandangle." "Deirdre feels you're letting yourself go, Sally." "Deirdre wants to hook me up because she's embarrassed I've no fella." "At least I'm not in their thrall like she is." "She escapes one, and another one nets her." "What's the story with that, anyway?" "What?" "Any chance of them two getting back together again?" "None of your business." "No." "And listen, I wasn't going to say it to you, but since we're having this discussion... would you not..." "Would you not get yourself a bit of Immac or something?" "Get rid of that old ronnie you're cultivating." "I haven't got a ronnie." "Well, no, you're hardly the Burt Reynolds league... but there's such a thing as grooming, you know?" "Whether you're courting or not, love." "Springfield coming up, now." "Mum?" "Mustn't be back yet." "Are you nervous?" "Not really." "They'll be well impressed." "Take your coat off." "I'll make some tea." " Deirdre." " Yeah." "Come here for a sec, will you?" "I wanna show you something." " Jesus." " You must be Sam." "Christ." "There were nine, ten people at the most." "All the windows were smashed." "So it was just a matter of climbing up on to the top." "Well, of Sally climbing up on to the top, and of her helping them out... and me helping them down." " And there was nobody killed?" " No." " Despite the blood." " That's amazing." " So the ambulance came and..." " Yep, took them all away and that was that." "Made a statement to the police, but we weren't much use." "You don't know how it happened?" " Have I got a ronnie?" " A what?" " A ronnie, mustache, like." " Show?" "Well, you're no Tom Selleck, but..." "Go fuck yourself." "Sorry, Ma." "Fucking idiot." "Why are you so angry, Sally?" "Because she's no business, that's why." "I don't go round talking about her physical..." "Jesus." "You don't know how it happened?" "Be a few settlements there, I'd say." " You should've stayed on till the next stop." " We should've." "Anyway, it's nice to meet you, Sam." "Sorry it had to be in, what would you call it, such dramatic circumstances." "So, how are you finding living with Deirdre?" "Her place okay?" " He thinks it's a sty." " No, I don't." "It just needs a bit of a dusting, hat's all." " And a hoovering, and a mopping." " Maybe a paint job." "Ouch." "I'm messing." "No, it's great." "It's early days, but we're getting on all right, aren't we?" " And how's your wife coping with this?" " Sally." "No, I'd like to know." "Is she upset?" "Depressed?" " Let's go, Sam." " No, wait a sec, Deirdre." "If he can't handle this kind of talk... then he shouldn't put himself in this position." " How long you married?" " Fourteen years." "And you can, just like that, finish with one, start with another?" "That kind of shit sickens me, you know that?" "Sorry, Ma." "And you stay where you are." "I'll go." "The stench of fucking adultery in here." "When Vincent and I broke up, I thought the same thing, Noeleen." "It's me." "I'm dysfunctional in some way because I couldn't hold on to him." "So you know what I did?" "I proved to myself that it wasn't... by attempting, by doing things that proved it." "By becoming better alone than I'd ever been with him." " Tell me how." " I will." "Will you?" "I can't tell the difference." " What do you want?" " Anything." "Do you have a preference in terms of content?" "Like women and women, or men and men?" "What the fuck are you insinuating?" "I don't know your preferences." "I'm only trying to help you here." " You just want straight, yeah?" " Just people fucking, man." "Make sure the chicks are good-looking." "I saw one of them before, they were hound dogs." " There you go." " Mutts, they were." "There's no one taking dumps in this, is there?" " You want that?" " No." "Look, Oscar, it's just fucking, all right?" " Bit of oral, bit of anal." " All right." "Anal men or anal women?" "Can't keep your paws off her, can you?" "So what happened to your sister?" "She was in love with this guy and she wanted to marry him." "Guy from London, name was Duane." "She was gonna move there with him." "Took out her savings for a new start." "A few thousand pounds." "Well, you can see where this is going, can't you?" "He convinced her to take it out in cash." "Then he stole it from her and went back himself." "Jesus, Deirdre, get away." "You're freezing!" "Please, I'm serious." "Thing is, though, after he took the money... he tied her to her bed, told her she was a rubbish lay and then did a poo on her chest." " A what?" "Ma found her." "It was like two or three days later, and the stink, she said." "Flies crawling over her, and her hysterical." "So she moved back home then." "Hasn't trusted a man since." "Jesus!" "Why would you?" "Are you warm yet?" "Yes, you are." "Get off!" "Bastard." "Fucking bastard." "I'm telling you, this young fella came out of nowhere." "He threw a stone through the windscreen, a big one." " I panicked, I swerved..." " You lost control." "Anyone would have." "The bang, the shock, Jesus, the windscreen shattering." "And yet no one saw this boy?" " None of your passengers?" " Are you joking me?" "With the muck on those windows, how could they?" "They can't even see the bus stops." "I have not been negligent, man." "No way." "I did nothing wrong." "Kid ran up in front of me and hauled that rock." "Fucking pegged it, he did." "The weather seems to be pretty much the same... as it's been for the past couple of days... with the wind coming up from the south-east." "We've got squalls, sunshine patches." "We've got fairly heavy rain." "Dublin's gonna get a lot of rain this afternoon." " Hey, man." " Hi." " What you up to?" "You not working?" " Not anymore." "What?" "Did you get let go?" " Fired." " Fuck." "That's mean." "You okay?" "You want another one?" "I don't intend stopping any time soon." " What happened to you?" " Some fuck, man, don't ask." "Some little fucker." "I was driving up by Greenhills." "Stroked jammer?" "Of course." "Comes out of nowhere fucks a rock through the windscreen." " What?" "Into the ditch I went, banjaxed my face." "Do you believe it?" "Two pints, please." " So tell me about it." " Fuck it." "Fuck nothing." "Time like this, you need to talk." "A shoulder, an ear." "Get it off your chest, man." "Speaking in front of a group." "Excellent, in fact, we'll do a list." "Do you know what I find fascinating, an muinteoir?" " Dreams." " We'll be doing dreams in a couple of weeks." " Fabulous." "Will we?" " We will." "So, public speaking." "How does that make us feel?" "Anyone?" " Vulnerable?" " Good." " Shy." " Exposed." "Scared." " Powerful." " No, it's just negative things now." "Naked." "Do you ever dream you're naked, an muinteoir?" "It's fascinating." "Do you ever do that?" " Okay, what else?" " In command." "Negative things." "Come on, now." " Weak." " Weak." "Excellent." "Or you're relieving yourself on O'Connell Street." "What does that mean, an muinteoir?" "Number twos, like, in a little toilet outside the GPO... and you're afraid to wipe your bum because everybody will look at you." "It's fascinating and laugh, like." " Okay, so." "What's that, Maurice?" " Dreams, an muinteoir." "We're not talking about dreams, you fool." "Did you not hear him?" "A couple of weeks' time, he said." "Can you not wait?" "You stupid old fool, what are you?" "What are you?" "A fool!" " What do you want?" " Give us a ten." "Don't do tens anymore." "Don't break it up that small anymore." "Fuck." "Out of the way." "Flatfoot, fat fucking faggot." "Go on, you prick." "Prolong the inevitable." "See that?" "Even in your, what are they?" "What have you got?" "Even in your Nikes, I'm more nimble." "Me in my heavy brogans." "What have we got?" "We've got money." "Quit your wriggling!" "We've got gear." "There you are." "Where the fuck is the motor?" "For fuck's sake." "Some fuck's after..." "Shut the fuck up!" "You giggling whore, you." "When will he be back?" "No, I can't wait that long!" "This is bollocks, man, I'm telling you." "My rank, I should not have to deal with this kind of unprofessional and..." "Fuck it." "Give me the number of a taxi firm, will you?" "That's not what we want, Ben." "It's indigestible." "It's too hard." " But it's real, it's true." " I know that." "It's out there." "I'm talking about a world people don't see, Thomas." " The humanity within..." " But that's not what I hired you to do." "Now, you wanna use a copper?" "Find some fella who helps the homeless in his spare time." " Or one who can juggle." " He likes Celtic mysticism." "Yeah?" "Raithneach, Clannad, artistes like that?" " Fainne Lasta?" " All that shit, yeah." "But how's that a quirk, Ben?" "Sounds like the guy knows his music." "But him knowing his music is a far from good enough reason to do him." "He's too hard and he's too nasty." "Nasty." " Too nasty." " But..." "Softer." "Jerry." "What's this I hear you're gonna be on telly?" "The truth and nothing but, man." "Not in a supporting role, either." " The subject, I'm gonna be." " Jammy fuck, you." "Leading man." " Has nobody any balls these days?" " That's what I said." " Yeah?" " To his face." " I agree with you 100%, Jerry." " The faggot." "Is he a faggot?" "Bet you he is." "One of those fucks that tries too hard to be one of the ladies." "I read you." "Well, fair play to you." "Talking to your boss like that, I respect that." "You work your way up, that's what I say." "Develop your own show." "Call it Hard As Nails Cunts or something." "Then we'll collaborate." "Yellow-bellied fucks." "Listen, buddy, crime calls." " I'll catch you again, all right?" " Catch you, man." "Motherfuckers." "You think people enjoy that kind of attitude?" "Because they don't." "Go on, do it again if it makes you feel so good." "Bloody state of you." "What I should do now... is speak to your manager and have you fired... if I could only be bothered." "Don't know how well off you are." "Go on, do it." "You know you want to." "I've changed my fucking mind!" "There's a couple of jars smashed in that lane." "Clear them up, will you?" "It's not my job, it's Thomas'." "He's on the brush." "Your job is to do what I tell you." "Now come on." "It's not Dolce Salsa, is it?" " It is, yeah." " Can't do." "Dolce Salsa makes me sick." " All I have to do is smell the stuff." " Move." "Thomas, wait there." "There you are." "Do it." "Okay, man." "You're okay, Thomas." "I'm just trying to make a point." "For God's sake!" "Told you." "You finished?" " You finished?" " Yeah." "Come with me." "Thomas, clear up that sick before someone slips in it." "I want you to get one thing straight." "I'm your boss, you do as I say." "Go home, repeat it, maybe it'll lodge." "One more incident like this, do you hear me?" "One more incident... and I will TCB, as they say in the States." "I will "take care of business"." "You are here to do as you are told." "You are here to work." "So get back out there and do some." "Come on, Thomas, move it." "If you move it, you won't have to smell it." " I know that you've been patient, Karen." " Stop." "No, you have." "Taking me shopping and everything, the classes." "Maybe it's a different kind of boost you need." "Something to remind yourself you're attractive, say." "Maybe you need to be chatted up or something." " Flirted with, pursued..." " Wanted, Karen." " That's what it is." " Okay, then." "Let's do something about that." " Here's one, Ben." " What is it?" "It's good." "Like all the other good stuff I've read so far?" "I'm getting a bit tired of your attitude, Ben." "You can't choose one, that's fine." "I've chosen one for you." "Read it... get the lads, and get on it." "But it's not up for discussion, Ben." "Hello?" "They want us to go on..." "They want us to go on telly." "Because of the accident, the bus." "Some man just rang." "They wanna do an interview." "Said to ring him back if we're interested, you know." "I'm telling you, Jonesy said it's the best place to go." " Maybe not the best, but the easiest." " If you're desperate." "But I am, John." "You know I am." "Jesus Christ." "See, if this is all the competition there is..." "And some old ones are cute." " Not too old." " Where?" "This is what Jonesy said." "You gotta scout about a bit." "I'll meet you in a while." "Pint of Guinness, please." "You dirty bastard." "Fancy a bit of mature, yeah?" "Look, I know why you're here." "I've got my own business, you know?" "Fish and chip shop." " You like fish?" " Some fish." " Not fish-and-chip fish." " Right." " You like chips, though?" " You know what I like?" "Onion rings." "Right." "Not the biggest fan of them myself." "It's about the only part of my produce that I'm not partial to." "Look, I'm not gonna beat around the bush, ladies." "But if we can't be compatible about business..." " Now, him I like." " Who?" " That young guy?" " There's two of them." "If he asks me to dance, will you get up with his friend?" "Come on." "I'd feel silly on my own." "I mean, feck it, a woman my age... place like this, what's the point in lying?" "That's my philosophy." "The truth." "Life's too short." "What was I saying?" "The hormones, right." "No, it's not the worst thing... because since I've been on them, I have to say..." "I've been feeling very erotic." "You know what a younger man like yourself lacks?" "A bit of mature loving." "You lack it because you don't look for it." "But let me tell you something." "I'm sporty." "I'm actually..." "Celia, you're talking about honesty?" "I'm actually just waiting on a mate." "Sorry." "Okay." "I won't waste any more of your time." " I found one." " Yeah, what's she like?" " Will you dance with her mate?" "She's nice." " What's her mate like?" " Which?" "The right or the left?" " The left." " All right." " The left's mine." "All right, fuck it." " I hope you know, I've no interest." " Me, neither." "So nothing's gonna happen." "We're just gonna dance, enjoy it, and we're going to finish when they finish." " What's that perfume?" " Hey." " I was just..." " Hey." "You come here often?" "Yes?" "No?" "It's my first time." "I didn't know it'd be, you know..." "Older people?" " That's okay." " Older than me, say." "Are you a little shy, Oscar?" "I think you are." "I think you're very nice, too." "Would you like to come home with me?" "I know, I can't believe I said it, either." "But would you?" "Blue Enigma." "My perfume." "You said..." "You said you were waiting on a friend." "How dare you?" " If you don't want me, you tell me the truth." " Who's this?" "I'm coming here..." " Who the hell are you?" " Nice dancing with you." "How dare you?" "I'm coming here long enough not to need these lies." "I'm finished." "I'm going to the toilet." "Did you hear what I said earlier on?" "I'm coming here long enough not to need these lies." "Do you hear what I'm saying?" "You big liar!" "Oscar, I'm splitting." "Do you hear me?" " Will you be all right?" " Who'd have you anyway, you pug-ugly?" "Fuck you." "Fucking liar." "So what do you wanna do?" "Do you wanna go out?" "Wouldn't mind staying in." " Again?" " Why not?" "I'm gonna take a bath." " Can I help?" " You can bring me in a glass of wine." "Hello?" " Can I speak to Deirdre, please?" " Who's calling?" "It's John." " John she used to go out with?" " Yeah." " I'm sorry, I can't put you on to her." " Why not?" "You're the competition, aren't you?" "You're the ex." " Sam, who is it?" " It's for me, Deirdre." "What is it you want, anyway?" "You wanna win her back?" "She's not going back." " So what's the problem?" " The problem is it'd make me uncomfortable." "I'm sure you're not the worst, okay?" "But as far as Deirdre's concerned, you're my enemy." " Pal, you don't want me as your enemy." " No?" "I can make life hard, man." "That's right." "Talk to me like you're talking, I'll crack your baldy head, man." "And I know you're baldy." "I'll be the worst enemy..." "You ever fucking had!" "Do you hear me?" "All right, John boy?" "Sorry for your troubles, man." "What?" "A pint of Guinness, please, Seamus." "Heard about your break-up." "This is Lehiff, by the way." "Come here, why don't you join us over here?" " We got some business..." " A proposition." "We got a proposition we wanna run by you." " Potential of a few quid, man." " Many a quid's potential." "Follow us over." "I need a bit of a lift at the moment, Oscar." "Bit of a pepping up." "Can you pep me up?" "Good Jesus." "Look." "Rough, man." "Bit of pain-slash-pleasure, you know?" "Jesus, my cock's killing me, my bones, my muscles... but I'm energized." " Good, because I've a proposition for you." " A what?" "Some business." "Come on, I'll tell you on the floor." " It's my cock, John." " Yeah, so you said." "I'm telling you." "Pain-slash-pleasure." "Fucking aching me, it is." "Yeah, don't even ask about my balls." "So we hold the girlfriend hostage, say we'll kill her if he doesn't do as we say." "Drive him to the bank, two of us, the other stays with her... he gets us the money, we let her go." "Wear masks, whatever, disguise our identity." "Thing is, though, and this is the sweet, the poetic part, though, right." "The girlfriend is Deirdre." "You're joking?" "And the fella is..." "Her fella." "That's right, the baldy fuck." "Are you on?" " I don't think so." " What?" "Why don't you just ring her?" "Tell her you want her back." "Fuck that." "That's over now." "This is the new shit." "It's all a bit risky." "But vengeance, man, it's not about the money." " Well, it is, but the satisfaction..." " That's you, John." "That's your reward." "I'm sorry." " Come on." " It's too big." "No, man." "And I wouldn't recommend you get involved, either." "I'm getting involved, all right, I'm not passing this up." " And if you were any kind of fucking mate..." " What?" " Fuck you!" " No, fuck you, man." " If you were any use..." " I am use." " Except for fucking fogeys." " She's no fogey." "She may be older, but she's sporty." "And I'm taking exception to that description." "Granny, she is." "May have to break your face for you, you keep it up." " You big cock, you." " You're a cock!" "No, you are." "Big hairy prick, you." "Can't even get laid by a bird your own age." "Come here, feck me." "I've got you, man." "Give up." "You got me on the wrassling." "See, when I start using my karate..." " Wrassling or karate..." " John!" "Oscar!" "I'm sick of this now." "Come up to Mrs. Rooney's office." "Put a stop to this claptrap, once and for all." "Henderson!" "Good shot, man." "Nice one, John." "Fucking eejit." "I'm not going to the hospital, I told you." "Now Mr. Henderson has decided he doesn't want to bring the police into this." "But you understand we're going to have to terminate your employment, John." "Have you anything you'd like to say or..." "Go fuck yourselves?" "No, Tony, no, it's about what I expected." "I'm just so sorry it had to come to all of this." " And you go fuck yourself, too." " Enough of that." "No, Tony, if he hasn't even got the grace or the originality to..." " Fuck youse." " Hello." " How you doing?" "How are you?" "Look at your woman's makeup." "Fuck." "Take a chisel to get that off." "Hey." "Youse off the telly?" " Yeah." " Put me on." " No." " Go on, youse pricks." "Put me on." "I'll do a dance for youse." " What do you think?" "Riverdance." " Fuck's sake." " Okay." "You all set?" " Yeah." "Let's get the heroic angle." "The mythic shot." "There's something wrong with the light here." "I don't see why we can't just shoot this thing straight on." "There's some sort of a shadow there that I can't seem to get rid of." "That's not, I don't think, shadow." "That's a moustache, Ben." "That's ruining it, isn't it, Charlie?" "Sorry, Sally." "You hear this 'mythic shot' shit?" "Could you step out of the shot for a minute?" "Just for a minute." "Right, Maura." "What happened when the bus went over?" "Who the hell..." " Christ!" "What the fuck?" " What was that?" "Actually, Maura, can we put Sally in for this one, please?" "Do what you can with the moustache." "Lose the low angle if you have to." "I told you, if we shot simply, we'd be home by now." "Fucking mythic shot." "Sally, it'll be great." "Okay, let's go." "That's wanton, now." "Condolences, man." "Seriously." " My stereo there?" " No." " My sounds?" " No." "At least they had taste, the cunts." "You gonna put this in your film, Jerry?" " Hello?" " Call yourself a maverick?" "Yeah." "Then be one, Ben." "Do me anyway." "What?" "Do your own film." "You have access, don't you?" "Cameras and all that?" "Sound shit?" "Wanna do the underbelly, don't you?" "You said you did." " I know." " You said you were a maverick." "Well, this is how mavericks create." "Outside the system." "Oh, yeah." "But if you're prepared for that, let's do it." " If not, well, okay, fine." " No." " Be a conformist." " No, I'd like to, it's just..." "Yea or nay, Ben?" "Yea or nay?" "Tonight on Little Big City... an accident could have become a catastrophe... if it weren't for the intervention of several brave passersby." "One of whom we have here with us." "We felt that a... well, actually, I felt that there were people... whose lives were in danger." "So I jumped on top of the bus." "The bus was on its side, actually... so it wasn't that high to jump on top of the bus." " Oh, my God." " What?" "It's horrible, Ma." "Not on the bus, but in the bus." "I saw it through the window." "And I was frightened that there were people dead everywhere." "There weren't, there was just a few cuts and bruises." " Damn." " You didn't miss much, it's only your sister." " Was she good?" " Not really." "She was a bit inarticulate, to tell you the truth." " I was shit." " No, you weren't." "My hair was shit." "Yes, I was." "My moustache." "I am like Burt Reynolds." "Fucking hell." " Listen, do you mind if we stay in tonight?" " What?" " I'm knackered, do you mind?" " Sam!" "Come on, Deirdre." "We don't have to go out every night, do we?" "Every night?" "I pay rent here." "I pay your rent on top of my own." "I give you money." "I treat you well." "Is that not enough?" " It's not what I want, Sam." " Well, what do you want?" " Come on, tickles." " No." "Put me down." "Fuck." "What the fuck?" "Listen." "Fuck this." " Oscar, I'm sorry, I..." " This is too much." "What's wrong with you?" "Jesus." "It was kinky at first, but my fucking jaw." " Don't go, Oscar, please stay." " Fuck that." "Look, you're better off finding someone into that shit, Noeleen." " I won't, I'll stop." " I'll see you again." " Oscar, please." "I'll stop." " I'll see you again." "Oscar, I won't, I'll stop." "My fucking jaw." "It's like, I knew I had it, but I didn't care because I didn't see it." "Now I see it." "Now I do." "I don't understand why I didn't." "It's like I kept it as a badge of, I don't know... maybe of mourning or something." "I don't know." "Or courage." "I mean, you've been through the wars, love." "That's true." "I've distinguished myself." "What about you, Ma?" "You never thought of getting someone?" "Getting married again?" "I don't think I could, even if I wanted to." "Your father was..." " I don't know, I'd feel..." " You were betraying him?" "No, I think he'd have wanted me to." "It's just, I still feel close to him, you know?" "To have had someone like him in my life that special, I feel it's enough." "And who could ever give me what he gave me, anyway?" " What do you mean?" " I don't know." "His love, for one thing." "My home." "The times we had." "We did have times, Sally." "A whole load of memories." "The children he gave me." "My beautiful children." "With or without moustaches." "I feel blessed by all of that." "By you, Sally." "So why would I want for anything more?" "I'm serious, love." "I know." "I've been so lonely, Ma." "I know you have, baby." "I know you have." "It's all right." "Delicious, this." "I can feel it doing me good already." "Vitamins and shit." "Carbs or whatever." "Think they're in the beans." " You have any brown sauce?" " Sure." "Or is it the pudding?" "Anyway, what time is it?" "It's 7:30, we don't go till around 8:00." "That way a knock on the door won't be too strange." "Don't forget, I won't be talking." "That's right." "You can nod, whatever." "Or grunt." "Write shit down." "There we go." " You scummy fucker." " Want some?" "It's nice, man." "Go on, give us a shot." "It's delicious." "Give us some of that." "It's gorgeous." "You got the gun and all, Lehiff?" " Give us a look." " Here?" "Use your head, man." " That's not fucking bad." " I'm telling you, man." "I'll show youse after, all right?" "That's fucking delish, man." "Be careful, you fuck." "Stick on some sounds, will you, to get us in the mood." "What have you got?" "Clannad." "Fuck that, we'll do without." "Here, look at these." "I got them in the joke shop, so as we can drive the bloke to the bank." "Anyone looks, they see real people, but not the right people." " Clever." " Better fucking believe it." "This shite, you've gotta be Stephen fucking Hawking." "Hawkings, which is it?" "Hawking." "Where's your sis, Cathal?" " Why?" "She gonna be on this?" " I don't know." "What would she do to get on?" " She'd do anything you want, Jerry." " To the camera." "To the camera, Cathal." " Would she give me a riding?" " She might." " The whore." " She's not a whore." "This is Wayne, Ben." "Dealer." "He isn't doing much at the moment on account of surveillance." "That's right." "Can't even take a shit in peace." "Reckon he's done the odd drive-by as well." "That'd be telling, Jerry." "What's this?" "A film?" "Fucking scumbag." "It's a documentary." "About what?" "About scumbags." "So tell the camera what it's like dealing death for a living." "Go on." "Feeding filth to these poor addicts." "Fuckhole." "Are you looking for a shot, man?" "Dislodge the champion off his podium?" "Reckon I can do it, Jerry." " You getting this, Ben?" " Reckon I can whup you!" "See what I mean?" "Scum." "It's the only thing they understand, Ben." "Jesus." "How are you?" "Who is it, Deirdre?" "Okay, so these lads will go with Sam here." "And me, the really dangerous fuck of the trio, will stay with you." "All right?" " Good." " Okay, Sam?" "Good." "All right?" "I won't." " I will." " All right, let's go." "What the fuck do you see in a fogey like that, anyway?" "Can't say he'd be too energetic sackwise." "You can answer me." "That chick's a bit young for you, isn't she?" "What would she be, 25, 26?" "And gorgeous." "Suppose it's the old wage, though, isn't it?" "That would attract them all right." "I'll tell you what, though, despite her material wants..." "I'm talking about my own wife here now, she has them." "Me and her is based on more than that." "Snuggle her at night." "Get the old belly-fluts." "Does your woman give you that?" "No?" "Or more to the point, do you give her it?" " You own this place?" " No." "Rent?" "I wouldn't mind owning somewhere like here, now." "It's not the best by any means... but for a man of my humble wants, you know?" "Is that a wok I see?" "Very nice." "Are they worth getting?" "You find you have much use for it?" "I suppose." "Have my eye on a few kitchen appliances." "Woks, blenders." "Feel it's time I domesticated myself a little bit." "Wokked my own grub instead of always ordering in." "And what kind of oil would you use?" "I hear olive's the best." "Well, that's what I use." "Right." "And what are the advantages you find it has above, say... chip-pan oil or..." "You fucking idiot." "Right, now get back in there and make me some tea." "Go on." "All right." "Go on, go." "You mean that, Mick?" "What you said about the missus?" " About getting the fluts and all." " Oh, yeah." "You think I didn't?" "True love, man." "You feel it, you feel it." "What do you think?" "Yeah." "You feel it?" "With Deirdre, man." "I do." "It gets me in here." "Yeah." "That's where it gets you, all right." "Try and fuck with me?" "Have to watch you like a vulture." "Don't want sugar." "Get me brown sauce." "Brown sauce?" "There's something wrong with that, is there?" "It's the new fucking business, sure." "Everyone's doing it." "Not a bad old morning?" "Hey, Sally." " Should you not be in work?" " I took the day off." "Thinking of leaving altogether, actually." " Yeah?" " Yeah, it's pissing me off, you know?" "What about yourself?" " It's my birthday next week." " Yeah?" "Happy birthday." "Thanks." "And my mother got me one of those mall vouchers." "You know, you can use it in any shop." "So I'm gonna get a makeover." " Nice massage." " Treat yourself?" "Bit of a facial." "Exactly, yeah." " Get my moustache waxed." " What moustache?" "Oscar, come on." "You've a bit of hair there, but it's hardly a ronnie, man." "Needs a bit of bleaching's all that needs." "Do you want a coffee?" "Hey, I was just on my way up to you." "What's up with your phone?" "Is it broke?" "Or more to the point..." "Slow down a second." "More to the point, where were you last night?" " Leave me alone, Karen." " What?" "I get you." "This new man in your life, is that it?" "Now that everything's peaches and cream, it's dump your friends... leave them hanging, is that it?" "Stop a second, will you, for fuck's sake!" "Is that the explanation?" "After all the effort I put into you, the time I spent, the..." " Stop, I said!" " Get your fucking maulers off me!" "Lookit, look at this." "Oh, man, it's bulging." "Prepare to be rich." "Prepare to fucking..." "Where the fuck is he going?" "Sam!" "What the fuck?" "Who's that?" "I'm sorry!" "Where's the bag?" "What the fuck?" "Some chick." "She's vicious, man." "She's an animal." "Look at her milling into the fucker." " I'm sorry, Noeleen." " You okay?" "Yeah." "Yes, it's okay." "Retaliate, you dope." "Grab the bag, stand the fuck up and..." "Coppers." "Sketch, man, skedaddle, will you?" "Jesus." " Get off him." "Come on." " Calm down, madam, will you?" " I don't believe it." "Who was that?" " Don't fucking know." "That's it now." "All that risk, that work, for nothing." "I promised Cathy a shed out the back." "What the fuck will I tell her now?" "You know those sheds?" "Store your shovels and shit." "Your lawnmower." "The fuck?" " That's the little fucker who stoned my bus." " So?" "We've gotta get back, man." " Fuck that." " What the fuck do you mean, 'Fuck that'?" " What about Deirdre?" " You're the one that loves her, you go back." "I've my own mission here." "Mick!" "Right, he's moving." " Looking for love, it's tough." " It is." " How did we get on to this?" " Don't know." "And it's frightening." " A lot of bad decisions you can make." " Yeah, a lot of wrong turns, exactly." "Potential for heartbreak, for hurt." "But you persevere." " You reckon?" " Yeah." " You've got to, do you not think?" " No, I do." "I mean, what else is there?" "Exactly." "What the fuck else is there?" "Who is it?" "What's going on?" "What the fuck does this mean?" "Where's you-know-who?" "Are you fucking around here?" "Take this fucking thing." "What's going on, man?" "She got out of order." "Now who's this crazy old one?" "Fuck that, fuck her." "Where is everyone?" "Don't write it, tell me." "Are you listening?" "I'm a prick?" "You're a prick!" "If this is fucked up, I wanna know how." "I said talk now, man." " Who's got the money?" " Why did you hit her?" " Because she's a cunt!" " John." "Now tell me." "You're after blowing your cover, sure." "Shut the fuck up, or I'll smack you again." "And don't give me any more of this mad old shit." "Tell me!" "Fuck." "Look what you're after making me do." "Fuck this." "Are you all right?" "Fuck, Deirdre, fuck." "Jesus, I'm late." "They said they'd a cancellation for 10:00, but if I miss that..." " You better hurry." " It's great to see you, Oscar." "And, come here, if you wanna leave your job, you know what I say?" "Leave your fucking job." "Go somewhere you're treated right." "Thanks for the coffee." "Do you wanna go out some night?" "We have a hit, huh?" "Yeah." "Respect." "From one maverick to another?" "Professional." "Get in!" " What?" " We're not finished yet." "Come on." " You ever been in a high-speed pursuit?" " No." "Well, buckle up and get filming." "Of all the cunts." "This is where we separate the men from the faggots." "Film me when I talk, man." "Come on, you fuck, you." "Is that all you got?" "That your best?" "Bollocks." "After costing me my job." " Fuck, where's he going?" " You filming me?" "He's going to the country." " You're out of your element now, pal." " So are we, Jerry." "Shut the fuck up." "I am gonna nab you directly." "I'm right behind you, you little fuck." "I won't hurt you, come here." "Step on the bumper, will you?" "Put your weight on it, so I can climb back." "Please." "Sorry, sheep." "Got to put you down, man." "Out of your misery." "It was you, you fuck!" "You stole my motor." "You shouldn't have pissed on my legs, man." " Fuck's sake, and my sounds, man!" " Shit sounds." "You were playing them, fuckhole!" "You hear this fucking hypocrite?" "Anyway, the power of certain artistes... is beyond the ken of cunts like you." "You just don't have the requisite Celtic soul, man." "Yes, I do." "That's a brave fucking statement, huh?" "Would you like the chance to back that up?" "You and me." "Hand to hand." "You win..." "I let you go." "Okay." "Are you getting this, Ben?" "Come on!" "This episode will be entitled "Personal Justice"." "Come on, you fucking scumbag, you, come on." "Good lad." "Jerry!" "...over 80 miles an hour." "The chase, which ended here and resulted in destruction of livestock... the vicious shoot-out and the loss of a life." "Detective Jerry Lynch... a 15-year veteran of the Garda Siochána, distinguished himself..." " Was it the money?" " No." " To hurt me?" " Deirdre." " Him?" " Maybe a little bit, I don't know." " You were an idiot." "You know that?" "Always." " I know." "Always the same shit, or ever since I've known you." "Taking the long way to get what you want, and fucking everything up on the way." " Anything but ask, huh?" " I might be refused." "Anything but say what you need." "You have to take that chance, John." "And you're right, you might be refused, but on the other hand..." "You know?" " Might's not definite, is it?" " No." "It's a vague enough term at best." "Tell me what you need, John." "Hey, fuckhole, look at you." "Give us a look." "See you, John." "Sure, it's only a flesh wound." "So action-fucking-central, huh?" "So tell us about it." "Come on, man, tell." "Shit happens you can't change." "You've no choice but to deal with it, adapt to it." "Other shit, though, you have the choice, the means to improve your situation... and change things." "That's what you do, don't you?" " You do." " Try to make yourself happy." "This is philosophy, George." "This is life." "Come on." "More." "Succor, you know?" "Satisfaction." "I mean, take me for example, my handicap." "Or what you might call my handicap." "Snap!" "Hey, snap!" "What's up, man?" "I'm bricking." "Relax, they haven't got you yet." "They're not gonna." "What did you say at the hospital?" "Said I was mugged and dumped in the canal." "Filed a report and all." "So fuck it." "Keep the cool, we'll be hunky." "What about Deirdre?" "She won't say anything, you know?" "No, what about her and you, man?" "Have youse finished your little intermission?" "What?" "I'll race you." "Come in here, think you're the king on wheels?" " I'm the king round here." " Fine." "Me." "Are you chicken, pal?" "You afraid to face the king?" " Because you're not, you know." " Not what?" "The king." "You may be the prince." "Jerry!" "Come in." " Did you see me on the news?" " Yeah." " "Detective hero"." " Yeah, I know, but come here." "The way it was told is the way it has to be." "I know." " You saved my life." "You're the hero, Ben." " Hey." "No, I mean it." "As a token of my respect, no, fuck that, my admiration..." "I want you to have these." " Wow, Fainne Lasta." " You've earned them." "A warrior soul, Ben." "A kindred soul." "I better go empty my colostomy bag." " We'll meet again, no doubt." " Yeah." "On the streets, huh?" "On the streets." "Can I talk to you for a sec?" " Hey, Maura." " Hello, John." "Can I talk to you?" "Sure." " If you don't shut up, I will race you." " I hope so." "I'll show you, you fucker." "Come on." "I just wanna say a couple of things to you, all right?" "Now, I'm not asking for anything, so don't feel any pressure." " Okay." " Just listen." "This is a list of things that I want... and have wanted... for a long time." "Straight from the heart, no fucking around." "To be with you... to live with you, and to... eventually, you know, marry you." "To have your child..." " For me to have yours?" " Yes." "All my children." " However many, three, four..." " Go on." "To grow old with you." "To know... and that's the main thing... to know, all right... that you feel the same." "That's it." "How hard was that?" "Hard enough." "Well, I do feel the same." " What's wrong?" " Not in front of your ma." "You fucking prude!" "They don't mind." " Will you ever cheat on me?" " Never." " Will you take care of me?" " Always." " Will you ever neglect me?" " No." " Raise a hand to me?" " No." "Take a shit on me?" "Do you want me to?" "I have had enough of you." "Fucking coming in here every night..." "On your marks." "Get set." "Go!" "Where are you, you grumbling old piece of shit, youse?" "Come on, you old fucker." "Oh, my leg." "Default, man." "Where is he?" "Default." "There was an obstacle." "Do you see this?" "I am the king of the world." "The king of the Republic of Ireland." "Saw you on the box, love." " Yes?" " You were shit." "Thank you very much." "Thank you." "And thank you because you are out of here." "So, you and Sally, man." "Who'd have thought?" "Fucking love her, man." "Here, wait till I tell you what we did last night." "Don't, man, fuck's sake." "You're right." "Keep it to myself, I will." " Cherish it." " That's it." "Relish it, I will." "So, you relish being out of a job?" "Fucking right." "No getting up, no taking orders." " No Henderson." " That's the best bit." " Being free of that fuck." " Absolutely." " Are you off, Mr. Henderson?" " I am, indeed, Mrs. Rooney." "A little RR, as they say in the States." "Isn't it lucky for some?" "I am the boss." "I have authority." "You are the minion." "You're beneath." "I have the power." "What do I have?" "I'm sorry, I didn't get that." "Speak up." "What do I have?" "That's right." "That's absolutely..." "What the fuck?" " Where the hell is it?" " Just do it manually." "Are you sitting on it?" "Just do it manually." "This is good." "You can see the nocturnal activities..." "No, I saw this one." "Something else." "Is it under you?" "Keep going." "Come on." "No, back one." "Back one."

"For centuries people have been looking for shortcuts." "How can I get from point A to point B faster?" "Speed has been the mother of invention with things like the steam locomotive, the automobile, the Panama Canal..." "Faster, faster, faster pussycat!" "Go, go, go!" "However, it's the tortoise that eventually beat the hair, right?" "Hi, there." "I'm Kyle Maclachlan." "Last year, we set out to make a very special episode of" "Portlandia called "Brunch Village."" "And frankly, what you saw was fun size." "What I'd like to show you now is a full meal, the director's vision." "The long version with no shortcuts." "One thing about Portland, there is virtue in taking one's time" "Slow roasting meats, making lightbulbs by hand, moving at the speed of bike, and stopping to smell the beautiful roses overlooking our city." "Ah." "So, without further ado, I now present you with the director's version of "Brunch Village."" "Enjoy." "Peter honey, so what's on tap for our Sunday?" "Well, that mandolin festival is still going on." "Listen to this." "There's this new brunch place," " the Fisherman's Porch." " Ooh." "They've got something called the marionberry pancakes" " that everyone's ordering." " Yum." ""The Fisherman's Porch offers brunch eggs Benedict and Sammy Benedict..." "[Mumbling] ...best syrups I've had." "Coffee..."" "Peter, let's go." "I want to have a mimosa, I want to have some marionberry pancakes, and I want to go with my guy, okay?" "It opens at 9:00 A.M. it says get there early." " Let's go." " On a Sunday?" " Yeah." "I want to go today." " Today?" "Baby, come on." "You know what?" " Let's go right now." " Should we go?" "I want to go today." "Come on." "I don't know." "I mean, jeez." "Why don't we go next week?" "It's not that attractive when you're indecisive." "Parking." "You know what I mean?" "And the crowds." "I mean, we just had coffee." " We're gonna take it to go." " Okay." "Let's do it." " Come with me." " Okay." "[Cell phone vibrating]" " Hello?" " Hey, Fred." "Hi." "It's the mayor." "Good morning." "Am I waking you up?" "Yes." "Well, let me be the first to say good morning." "Okay." "I wanted to know if I could invite you to brunch this morning just as a thank you for all you've done for the city?" "Where do you want to meet?" "That brunch place down on Dekum." "Get there say around 9 o'clock?" "Oh." " Is that gonna work?" " Okay." "Hey, listen." "If you see Carrie, would you tell her, too?" "Yeah." "Ah, hold on." " Carrie?" "Carrie." " What?" " The mayor's calling." " Huh?" "The mayor's calling and he wants to know if we want to go to brunch." " When?" " Today." " It's the place on Dekum." " You know what?" "We should get going." "That place is really popular." " We gotta get in line." " Hey, that sounds great." "Okay." "On my way." " Long line." " Yeah." "Yeah." " Are they open?" " Not yet." "Water!" "Six dollar water!" "Is this the line for Fisherman's Porch?" "Crazy." "Whoa." "Hey guys, calm down." "One at a time, okay?" "I'll get to you one at a time." "All right." "How many in your party?" "Okay." "And your name?" "Barbara." "Okay, great." "And, two?" "And your name?" " Hi." " Hi." "How are you?" "Good." "How are you?" " Good." " So how many?" " Two." " And the name?" " Peter." " All right." "Great." "Quick question." "How long until we get seated?" "Ah, let me see." "I don't know." "Maybe 30, 35, 45..." " Maybe an hour and 15." " Oh." "You know we got that write-up." "It's really popular." " That's a while, huh?" " Maybe an hour 45." "We'll sit at the counter." "Yeah, there's no counter." "So, a table, is that all right?" "[Stammering] Is it possible, can you order in advance?" "And send the order up to the chef so that it's waiting for us" " when we get there?" " No." "I think maybe you could've gone to McDonald's for that." "Maybe you might be at the wrong restaurant." "No, no we're not." "We're trying to think of it like an adventure." " You want to see a menu?" " Yeah." " So you got that?" " Yep, Peter party of two." "P-E-T-E-R." " You got that, right?" " Yeah." "Peter." " There's two of us." " Party of two." "Marionberry pancakes, I'll have that for me." "You get those, and I'm gonna get the frittata." "But I want the turkey breast Benedict." "Fruit plate." "I'm getting that." " I'll do the frittata..." " I would like the frittata." "And you get the marionberry pancakes." " I'll do the granola..." " I can make you that at home." " Okay, let's go." "Thank you." " No." "That's not what I meant." "We can go home if you want." "Should we go home?" " Peter." " Why don't we get" "I don't know what I want." "I hate how indecisive you're getting." " I just can't decide." " I want you to want something." " The breakfast burger." " Great." " And the pancakes." " No." "What's-what's-- What's good here?" "I'm done with this." "I'm gonna be honest with you." "This is such a turn-off when you do this." " It is?" " I'm freezing." "I'm gonna go to the car and get my jacket." "When I come back you better decide on your order." "Okay?" "Figure it out." "She's not really mad." "In relationships when you're together a long time, you have you're own volume and language that it sounds to strangers like it's heated and it..." "That's just a common-- That happens when we're..." "Anytime." "[Hostess] Margaret party of two." "Christine party of three." "Hey, Tribune guy." "Remember when you could walk right into this restaurant?" "Yeah." "Yeah, I do, too." "And now I'm waiting five hours." "So I got a little message for your big food critic, buddy." "Why don't you tell him the Food Channel called and um, they ah, they got a new gig for him." "It's called taste these nuts, my man." "Why don't you review these nuts right here?" "Thanks for blowing up another spot of mine." "I really appreciate it." "[Cell phone rings]" " Who is it?" " It's the mayor." " Fred, I'm stuck on the bridge." " He's stuck on a bridge." " Yeah, Hawthorne Bridge." " Great." "It's a very long line." "You know that, right?" "Really?" "Well, maybe it's caught on." "Do you know an alternate way I can get to you, maybe the Westside Esplanade?" "Is there an alternate route?" "He's on the Hawthorne Bridge." " Is it up?" " Yeah." "There's no alternate route." "It means all the bridges are up." "No, I think they're done with the construction..." "Oh, I have an idea." "I know how I'm gonna get around this." "We'll see you here." "We're moving." "♪" "Hi." "What is this for, Toni?" "This is our store." "You're in the way of our store." "What are you all waiting for?" "This is a sacred storefront and a women's space." "We can't get in." "Look." "Our customers need a safe passage as do we." "This is no longer a safe space for women." "We're gonna go in and we're gonna come out in 20 minutes and I want you guys gone." "We're a peaceful organization, but at this time, this makes me very warlike." "So help me God, I will jump from head to head using your skulls as stepping stones into the river that is the street." "And I'm gonna take tea and take a sip of it and spit it into each and every one of your mouths." "Oh, it'll burn me, but it'll burn you twice." "Burn we once with tea, shame on me." "Burn you twice in your own mouth, shame on everybody involved." "This way to your table." "So here's my report." "There's a table of four." "They're just chit-chatting." "There's a table of two, they've already paid." "I think you're about two hours away." "Whoo!" "Long line." "We got some food ready to go." "A table's open right here, folks." "So we got the triple play, we got the cup of Joe side of dough, and we got the early morning eye opener." "All 1.99." "Actually, cup of Joe side of dough is 99 cents today." "So..." "We got a lot of tables." "You could get a refill right now of that coffee if you come on in." "We got free refills." "Excuse me." "[Hostess] Tousant party of four." "Tousant party of four." " Starving." " Yeah, me too." "Those pancakes for sure." " Frittata or something." " Yeah." "I might get the eggs." "I'm not really sure what to get." "I think I'm gonna get the pancakes and the eggs." " You're gonna get all of that?" " I haven't eaten for 10 days." " What?" "You have to eat." " The master cleanse is amazing." " So you don't eat anything?" " No." "Ten days, water, lemon juice, cayenne pepper, feeling extra hungry, throw a little maple syrup in there ties you over." "Breakfast, lunch, dinner, I feel amazing." " I would never do that." " I feel incredible." "I gotta eat all the time." "I feel great when I eat." "I went on this kick where I was drinking orange juice like crazy." "The pulp and everything." "That's all I had." "Big glasses." "It's expensive, you know, but after a while, I couldn't drink anymore." "My whole skin started smelling like..." "Are you okay?" "Hello?" "Are you okay?" "She fainted." "She hasn't eaten in 10 days." "I did that, too." "I was on a strict diet of just juice and sandwiches." "It just makes you dizzy." "[Horns honking]" "Excuse me." "I'm so sorry." "I'm so sorry." "Excuse me." "Excuse me." "I'm so sorry." "Excuse me." "Hey." "Hey, you're cutting!" "Hey!" "She's cutting!" "[Crowd yelling]" "She's cutting!" "[Crowd yelling]" "Boo!" "I can't see what's going on down there." "They're all..." "Boo!" "[Shouting continues]" "Come on, love." "Come on." " Come on." " I'm not cutting." " Come on, let's go." " Peter!" "I don't even know..." "Please, no." "You're hurting my arm." "Come on!" "I just want to get back to my husband." "Please." "Where am I?" "Your excellency." " Um, hi, I'm Nance." " Silence!" " I'm not exactly sure" " Silence!" "I'm not exactly sure why I'm here." "Silence." "Explain yourself." "Do you want me to be silent or do you want me to explain myself?" "Explain yourself in a silent voice using words." "Well, I was in line with my husband Peter, and he gets very, very indecisive about food..." "[Muttering]" "And so I started walking towards the car and it's a little chilly out and I wanted to get my jacket..." "She grabbed her jacket from the car." " A jacket!" " [Laughing]" " She wanted to get her jacket." " [Laughing]" " She wanted to get her jacket." " [Laughter continues]" "[Muttering]" "You know, it's a nice..." "It's a nice..." "[Hysterical laughter]" "I don't appreciate the laughter." "Being as how hot it is in here, why would you need a jacket?" "Well, I wasn't really expecting to end up here." "Silence!" "You cut the line!" " I-I..." " You cut the line!" " You know, I" " No!" "Do you have any idea what kind of chaos would ensue were I to allow your transgression to go unpunished?" "Absolute anarchy." " Now, I want to be in anarchy." " Yep, it's the only way to be." "But we all have to be adults then, don't we?" "Not psychotic children cutting the line, chewing on human flesh." "Bleed, piggy, bleed." "[Squealing]" "Must punish you to save the children." "I want to save the children." "I donate every year." "Please." " Amismyth." " Yes, my lord." " The synthetics, please." " Ahh!" "[Gasps] Pancakes." "Where am I?" "Shh!" "Shh!" "Shh!" "You fainted." "We've given you some fluids and you should be just fine." "Thank you, doctor." "You..." "You saved my life." "That's what I do." "I save lives." "You have really amazing eyes." "So do you." " [Laughs] - [Laughs]" "This might be crazy, but do you want to get out of here?" "[Laughs]" "♪ If you want to take a chance ♪" "♪ girl take my hand and come with me ♪" "Oh, look." "We're moving." "[Cell phone rings]" "Oh, now the mayor's calling me." " Hello?" " Hey Carrie, it's the mayor." "It's taken me a little longer than I thought." "Listen." "You don't know the Willamette River topography, do you?" "Are you still on the Hawthorne Bridge?" "Yeah, I was, and now I just passed under it." "Ahoy there." "Would you know that brunch place on Dekum?" "Am I going in the right direction?" "I don't know if you can call the restaurant and drop your name." "I can't really do that." "I've never really done that as a mayor before." "I really can't." "Just saying." "You might need to pull some strings." " Would you shut up?" "!" " Make u-turn..." "Sorry, Carrie, not you..." "Okay." "I mean, just get here." "I see Omsi up ahead." "I think I'm gonna be okay." " See you soon." " Okay." "See you soon." "Okay." "That was really weird." "Oh, look." "There's a submarine." "Oh, I know where I am." "Yeah." "I can't find my wife." "She just..." "Would you do me a favor?" "I've got to look for my wife." "Can you hold my spot?" "I'll be right back." "Nance?" "Nance?" "Sorry." "I'm looking for my wife." "Nance, are you around?" "Nance?" "You didn't see a woman in here, did you?" "I'm looking for my wife." "Hey, trespasser." "Trespasser." "This is a riot!" "Get off our property!" "This is a protest!" "We're sorry we had to do this, but we asked you kindly." "Get out!" "Get off our property!" "Go!" "Go!" "I will silence your rebellion!" "I declare this space..." "Free of trespass." "Thank you." "Also, we're having a sale on some of our short stories." "It's gonna be half off for the next hour or so." "So please come in and look at them." "God is bless." "Stacey party of three." "Stacey party of three." "[Upbeat music playing]" "♪" "And, and she's got a very beautiful face." "Um..." "So pretty and um..." "[Stammering]" "I almost wanna say in line." "She stepped out to go find her jacket." "Have you seen my wife?" "This is Nance." "I can't find her." "She was in line with me." "This is her." " Yeah, I've seen her." " You have?" "!" "Where is she?" "It's a bad place." "You really don't want to go down there." " Why not?" " It's... end of the line." "South of Burnside." "They seem like nice people." "[Cocks shotgun]" "I'm just going through." "I don't mean any harm." "Is there a fee?" "I have money." "There you go." "Thank you." "Thank you very much." "That was very kind of you." "[Pig oinking]" "[Growling]" "Hi." "Ah..." "I just came in through there." "I'm just going through..." "I'm looking for..." "My wife is back there." "I think." "Nance!" "Nance, it's Peter!" "What happened?" "!" "Margaret party of two." " This is gonna take forever." " We're never gonna get there." "I'm starving." " It goes a mile back." " Really?" "Crazy." " Will you text the mayor?" " Yeah." "Catch the show this weekend, Beef Curtain?" "Great show." " Missed it." " What're your names?" " Fred." " Carrie." "Oh, yeah." "We got your table ready." " You asked our name first?" " Fred and Carrie right here." " Party of two." "Let's go." " Are you sure?" "We're like really far back in line." " You got a special table." " We did?" " Oh, yeah." " Okay." "I don't think this is Fisherman's Porch." " What is this?" " I guess it's a restaurant." "It also seems like a drug store." " Totally." " Let's just go." "Good morning." "Let me tell you about our specials." "We got the triple plate for 1.99 and we got the cup of Joe side of dough for .99." " We actually made a mistake." " We were supposed to meet" "That's great 'cause there's a three-for." "If you order something, two other people get a free meal, free beverage." "So you can't beat a bargain like that." "That's very kind of you." "I feel bad 'cause we were supposed to meet them next door and we" "Do you want me to give them a ring?" " No, you don't have to do that." " No, we have cell phones." "I don't want you to be charged." "I don't know how many minutes you got in your plan." "I can call them right now." "How about this?" "We promise we'll come back." "It seems like a cool place." "How about just the beverage?" "I can bring you some coffee?" " I'll have a cup of coffee." " A cup of coffee for you?" "We want brunch." "We want these marionberry pancakes." "And I've got some blueberries." "I'm sure they're still good." " You'll have some nice cakes." " I'll take one." " I'll have blueberry." " Okay." "Blueberry cakes." "There is a difference in berries, you know that?" " Yeah, that's fine." " That's fine." "Okay." "Why are you pouting?" "He's just trying to keep a business together." "You have daddy issues." "I have the good stuff for you right here." " This is really good stuff." " Are those hand wipes?" "Yeah." "Here's what we'll do" "There's some gum under the table." "I just remembered." "Let me get that for you." "[Scraping noises]" "I hope these people saved our place in line." " Me, too." " Hurry." "Ooh." "Party of 16?" " Uh-huh." " Yeah, I mean, Sunday brunch..." "Ooh." "Party of 16?" "You gotta be kidding me, dude?" "It's gonna be a little while." "Probably a couple hours." "Yeah, it's gonna be a lot of while, dude." "Don't you look at me, man!" "Are you aware of how many tables they have available in the actual restaurant?" "It's limited, dude." "Limited, L-T-D." "You're not getting a party of 16 through that door." "If you do, I'm gonna be irate!" "It's really a lot of people." "This guy wants a party of 16." "Why don't you invite 25 more friends there, guy?" "[Laughter]" "What're you looking at me for?" "♪ Temptation ♪" "♪" "[Heart beating]" "[Hostess] Sierra party of one." "Lady, get the hell outta my way!" "I'm coming." "Sierra party of one." "Nance!" "Nance?" "Nance, it's Peter!" "You want your brunch before everyone else?" "Little piggy, piggy." "Well, here it is, your brunch." "There's corn oils and some kind of preservatives all mixed together in some kind of chemical stew." "It's awful." "I haven't eaten anything like that for years." "Well, I'm very sorry." "Feed her." " No, please." " Feed her her brunch." " No." " Eat your brunch." "It's gonna give me a stomach ache." "And I'm so excited for those pancakes." "[Stammering] I just wanna go through." "I don't wanna be too full." "I wanna eat those pancakes." " Eat your brunch, Nance!" " I'll be a minute." "I just-- I know her." "[Hostess] Peter party of two." "Our table." "We're up." "Move!" "Nance!" "Ah!" "Are you okay?" "What is this?" " What are you doing?" " Silence." " Why?" "!" " Silence." " Loudness." " Who do you think you are?" "Who do I think I am?" "I am Peter party of two." "They just announced our name." "We have a table, and we're gonna go get our table and we're gonna eat brunch because we waited in line." "Isn't he the best?" "Excuse me." "One more thing." "What do you think you're going to have?" "Oh you know, I'm kinda feeling the frittata." "I'm back to the pancakes." "I know everyone gets them, but I'm kind of a sucker." "The marionberries are very, very good." "I hear." "I've never been." "Well, it was really great meeting you guys." " Enjoy." " Go, go, go, go!" "[Hostess] Peter party of two." "Peter party of two." "We have a table." "We're next." "Last call, Peter party of two." " That's our table." " We're never gonna make it." "Peter, I'm so tired." " I'm sorry, Nance." " No, I'm sorry." "♪" " Do you wanna try it?" " Get on." "Let's go." "♪" " We're coming." " We're coming." "We're coming." "Please wait." "Please hold our table." "Is this allowed even?" "Last time I moshed was Pearl Jam 1993." " We're on our way!" " Please hold our table." "Oh, thank you." " Hello." " Hi." " Peter party of two." " Peter party of two." " Right this way." " My hero." "Okay, and two orders of marionberry pancakes." "Enjoy." " That was so good." " Those pancakes are unreal." "What happened to you today?" "I don't know." "Something just kinda took over." "Just seeing you struggling like that." "I don't know." "I just couldn't be without you." " I just found myself." " Yeah, you did." "I kinda drank too many of those little glasses of orange juice, huh?" "You can drink as much as you want." " I had like six." " You're a thirsty guy." "Yeah, I've been told that... a lot." "That's all we need to have a good time." "Just me and you, maybe a little bit of breakfast." " And juice." " And those green eyes." "You like them, don't you?" "Mm, yeah." "Which one do you like better?" "I tell you what." "We are a party of two." "Guess who's invited?" " Me." " Am I invited?" "Let me think about it." "Ah... yeah." "Well, you know what?" "I'm RSVP-ing right now." " Okay, what are you saying?" " I'm saying yes," "I would love to come." " He just never showed up." " Oh, well." "Let's just go somewhere else." "Hey, Fred!" "Carrie!" " Hey." " Hi, you made it." " Thanks for waiting." " They just closed." " Huh?" " They closed." " What?" " Yeah." " Here?" " Yeah." " Oh, no." "This isn't the place." " Oh, it" " No?" "No." "Our place is up there." "Hey, Ed!" "Table for three!" "Hey, hey." "Mister mayor." " We'll be right there!" " You know that guy?" "Oh, yeah." "He's great." "Oh, cup of Joe, side of dough." "I'm so ready." "I hope you're hungry." "Yeah, come on!" "[Carrie] It's really cheap." "I'll pay." "[Mayor] Ah, even better." "Oh" " Ah, hey." "That was quick." "Ha." "That really flew by." "So, while "Brunch Village" was a thrilling project to work on, it wasn't always a walk in the park." "Let's look at a little behind the scenes movie to see what went right, and what went horribly, horribly wrong." "Horribly wrong." "Enjoy." "Whoa." "Okay, guys." "Calm down." "Calm down." "I'll get to you one at a time, okay?" "All right." "So, how many?" " Two." " Two?" "And your name?" "[Director] Here we go." "Resetting." "Still rolling." "Resetting." " Still rolling." " Here we go." "Resetting." "That was great, guys." "Reset." "Reset." "Reset." "[Carrie] I mean, drive safe, or whatever." "Okay." " Yeah, bye." " And background advance." "Stop, everyone." "Carrie, can you just say," ""Hey, mister mayor." "I don't know if you can drop your name 'cause we're gonna get in"?" "Something like that." "Hey, mister mayor." "I don't know if maybe if you could call the restaurant and drop your name 'cause honestly," "I don't know whether we're gonna get in." " Give me a "yeah."" " Yeah." " Give me a "no."" " No." " Give me a "uh-huh."" " Uh-huh." " Give me a "huh-uh."" " Huh-uh." "We got it." "We're moving inside." "Last setup, everybody." " Marionberry" " Marionberry pancakes." "It's about the marionberries." "The marionberries are very, very good." "The marionberry pancakes, the idea first came about, we were all just sitting around." "First we went for blueberry pancakes, nah, it's gotta be like marionberries are such an Oregon thing." "They only grow in Oregon." "No." "They should be here any minute." " You got a second?" " Yeah." "Let me take a taste." "This is a classic marionberries and a little bit of mint for decoration." " These look really good." " Oh, good." "Mm." "These taste terrible." "Ooh, really?" "Hey, how are we doing?" "Are we all set?" " The pancakes taste terrible." " Oh, no." " How are you?" " I feel great." " This comfy couch." " Yeah." "Hangout times." "It's not loud." " [Horn blaring]" " You know." "It's just like, the whole episode is about everyone's like," "I need these marionberry pancakes." "They're like driving people to wait in line for hours, and like those, I would never wait in line for those." "Sure." "I got a seed stuck in my tooth." "Is that supposed to happen?" "Are the marionberries supposed to stick in the teeth?" " Maybe this helps." " Okay." "When I was a kid, I had these marionberry pancakes one time and my grandfather made them, we picked the berries that day, it was like 75 degrees, like the sun..." "You know when you just feel hot, but it's like not too hot..." "[Thinking] Money is just being wasted." "The more time I talk, the more money you are wasting it was in slow motion." "That's how I remember it." "What are we talking about here?" "We're doing pancakes, right?" "And the pancakes we were eating were just like one of those elements that just made the day like, [Clicks tongue]." "How long have we been here today so far?" "No one has come and talked to us." "Should I text somebody?" "I mean, it gives us a little time to catch up and stuff." "Not that we don't see each other 24/7." "Guys, I'm so sorry this is taking so long." "David, it's the last scene." "He's gotta make a decision on the pancakes." " Great." "Okay." " Cool." "So this was our first option I presented to John and he said, where'd you get these berries?" "And I said, oh, supermarket." "And he says, ugh." "He just kinda..." "Too much salt." "Too sour." "Unedible." "This is the one that had no marionberries in it." "Too silly." "Nah." "He didn't like them." "You know when you're on a plane you're about to take off and the pilot says, we're gonna be on the ground for a little longer 'cause we got to make sure the mechanics works and the engine works?" "You don't want to like, rush that and take off anyway." "You want to wait until they fix it." "What do you have there, the script?" " Yeah." "Do you need a script?" " For the 15th time, no." " Whatever John has in his head..." " In his brain." "We want to be able to make that happen." "I just wish it would come out quicker." "I need time." "I need space." " Hypothetically." " I can't decide right now." "But you don't have to-- But you need to decide right now." "No, John, John!" "[Tires squealing]" "Gosh, he's talented." "♪ I keep running away for as long as I can ♪" "♪ I've been locked in those chains ♪" "♪ won't you understand ♪" "♪ I keep running away just as fast... ♪" "♪ days are turning in to weeks gone by... ♪" "What are pancakes, right?" "Just like pancake mix." "I guess marionberries-- Fresh marionberries." "They gotta be super fresh." " [Cell phone rings]" " I cannot talk to David." "Thank you everybody for coming." "We really appreciate it every day." "We're way past golden time." "We're in diamond time now." "So make sure you fill out those time cards." "We're way over budget." "Yeah, it's insane over here." "All the extras are fine." "They have books and games and puzzles." "Yeah, they'll be a while." "Some of those puzzles don't have all the pieces." "They'll be looking for them for a while." "You haven't seen John or heard from him or..." "In the five minutes that you've been here?" "No, I haven't seen him." "He didn't come up behind me and pop in and..." " Don't ever worry about that." " Have your phones on, too." " 'Cause if you guys wander..." " And if we're not around, get B-roll." "And if you can't get B-roll, get C-roll." "And if you can't get enough C-roll, get some D-roll." "That's like sky and ground." "You know, E and F and G and all those rolls, you can't just have characters speaking to each other." " You eventually get..." " Shots of the floor" " and shots of the ceiling." " Yeah, so don't worry." "This feels like a pancake day." "What is that?" "What?" "This is it!" "Whoo!" "Yes!" "Yeah!" "Whoo!" "Whoa!" "I figured it out!" "[Laughing]" "Where's-- Where's the berries?" "Maybe..." "There's no berries." "Where are the berries?" "!" "Where are all the marionberries?" "!" "[Woman] Hold on a sec!" "Can I help you?" "Yeah, I'm looking for the berries." "Hi." "David Cress, Portlandia." "Let me ask you something." "Would you, at all, be interested in buying a boom mic?" "Okay, you don't have to use that tone with me or that style of curse word." "Stop." "Okay." "Hey." "All right." "Dad, dad, dad, dad, stop, okay?" "No, don't put mom" "Okay, I gotta go." "I'm in trouble here at work." "Bye." "[Sighs heavily]" "I'm doing a shot of some pancakes, and everyone is waiting in line for brunch." "So it's gotta be like..." "It's gotta taste right." "And I've been searching and I saw your farm." "I was just wondering if you had any marionberries?" "We got these nice shot glasses, marionberry decals, two for five." "Or how 'bout this?" "A hand-painted beer stine, huh?" "You like it?" " Nah." " Oh." "My best of Portland 2008 marionberry pie blue ribbon." "Wait." "You're selling the ribbon?" "Oh, that's sad." "You have any marionberry pancakes in there?" "No." "Marionberries don't come into season for about five months." "Hmm." "Good." " Berry picking is really hard." " Thank you for bring these." " Don't eat all of them..." " I'm not going to, don't worry." "I don't want to give them a direction like, hey, pretend this is like the best berry pancakes you've ever had." "That's gonna feel forced." "I want them to actually bite in and..." " A perfect pancake." " Yeah." "You don't think you're over thinking this?" "I mean, the props department was no help." " No, I wouldn't think that" " They always go" " Broad." "Yeah, they're gonna make giant ones." "Yeah." "I mean, I'm more interested in drama at this point." "And what if you're wrong?" "Well, you know, we'll address that in post." "Probably the best way for it to work is if they're just amazing." "You might want a professional chef." "I never thought of that." "Well, if you need help in the preparation," "I'd be happy to make a phone call." " Yes, please." " Okay." "Accounting is killing me here." "They are really down my neck." "Oh, no." "You know how much it costs to feed 20 extras?" "Just a breakfast." "$400." "Oh, congratulations." "That's great." "[Danielle] I've called them up." "I said, where's Krisel?" "They're like, we don't know." "We're playing dominos." "I was like, excuse me?" "And they said, we're just hanging out." "We're playing dominos..." "I said, you have one shot left." "Where's Krisel?" "What do we put in the slot?" "What do we put here?" "Here's the time. 10:00." "This morning I did this, exclamation point." "You know what I did last night?" "I went home, I poured a giant plastic tumbler of wine," "I was so sweaty and so anxious about Portlandia," "I ripped off all my clothes," "I stood underneath the air conditioning vent, and I was like, Jesus, just let 'em get this last shot." "It's just sketch comedy." "Like they're looking for some kind of berry." "They've got people trying berries." "It's like, if we air" "Pulp Fiction one more time, there's gonna be riots in the streets." "[Doorbell rings]" "Oh, wow." "You must be John." " Whoa, Bobby Flay." " How are you doing?" " Come on in." " Thanks." "I've been on a long quest." "I'm looking for the ultimate pancake." "I've decided that it's a marionberry pancake." " Blackberries." " They're marionberries." "Um, they grow only in Oregon." "Basically they're" "These are blackberries." "They're like a real close cousin to the blackberry." "So, for the state of Oregon, we can call them marionberries, but for the other 49 states we should call them blackberries." " What do you think?" " This is not going well." "Why?" "It's just gotta have that extra umph that like, those people are gonna wait in line for hours." "Oh, it's a cooking show." "It's a deep cable, like, quirky-um." "When you say deep, like the channel has three digits?" " Definitely." " Okay." "I think we want the pancakes to fully encompass the blackberry." "You know what?" "I'm gonna just put the ball in your court and say, this is your area of expertise." "Your food tastes good." "I've never tasted it, but I've seen it on television, and I'm assuming it does taste good." "I actually wear this more than my regular clothes." "I've been wearing this for more hours..." "Twelve hours a day in this, and then I basically put something back on just to get home." " This is technically my style." " Now it is." "Yeah." " Just based on quantity." " Yeah." "Do you feel like they're cleaning it?" "I think they clean it every night." "Yeah." "I" " Yeah." "I'm looking for our director John, and he's kind of on a marionberry kick right now." "Are you..." "Great." "Stay right where you are." "I'm coming out to talk to you." " Two bowls..." " You want me to get creative." "Two soda, a little bit of sugar." "Are we gonna call these pancakes, flapjacks, griddle cakes?" "I mean in Portland..." "We're calling them pancakes just because..." "We shot everyone saying that already." "I don't love that idea, but okay." "It must've been nice when they discovered, like in the early days of makeup, that they needed chairs to spin." "Like, they'd work on you like this..." "I wonder who invented the swivel chair." "Someone had to, like at some point." "I bet you it wasn't an accidental invention." "They just were like, we need a swivel chair." " Yeah." " Yeah." "I'm gonna guess..." " 1600s." " Really?" "I'm gonna go back that far." "Did he say anything about any pancake decisions he was gonna make?" "He isn't in any kind of trouble, is he?" "Did he mention anything about returning back to a television set?" "He talked about something about being a director." "I think it was TV." "I'm not really sure." "We don't have a TV here." "Did he say where he was going at all?" "I can't show Pulp Fiction anymore." "I can't show it anymore." "Can you connect me to the control room?" "Yeah, it's Danielle." "I know what time it is." "We didn't get the last shot, so." "I know you're gonna kill me, but can you cue up Pulp Fiction?" "Can you just cue it up?" "I'll be down in a minute." "I got us bagels." "We'll come down." "We'll watch it together." "Okay." " All right, John" " No, no, he's gone." " You just missed him." " Lorne." " Do you know where John is?" " No." "No, we're just not gonna do that." "Is there a pause in your conversation?" "I can ask about" "Yeah, no." "I don't think we're gonna be able to get that done." "Just real quick." "Have you seen John at all?" "I can't find him anywhere." "I'm not actually on the phone anymore." " Have you seen John at all?" " Yeah." "I saw him earlier." "Well, we want them to be nice and fluffy." "I mean, I just always let my batters rest for about an hour." "But I never know what to do for that hour." "♪" "I can't believe you went to South Africa." "Check this out." "These are the Cape buffalo's." "They say these are their most dangerous animals." "It just doesn't seem that way to me." " John, I found you." " What're you doing in my house?" "You're totally embarrassing me, David, in front of my new friend." "I've got a crew of extras waiting in the trailer..." " You know, I..." " John..." "It's gonna be okay." "Sometimes it's about the journey." "We've become like, really close friends." "And you've kept an existing friend." "I thought we were more co-workers." "We have the best ingredients." "We have the best person making them." "We have organic buttermilk." "Let's do it." " Eric?" "Eric." " Got it." "Oh, boy." "Amazing." "These look incredible." "Okay, picture's up." "Let's bring in Fred and Carrie." "We got the cakes." "Move it in." "Bring it in." "Bring it in." "Yeah, that looks good." "That looks good." "If you could just move those, too." " It was so good." " Those pancakes are unreal." "How did they make this so good?" "What's in this batter?" " And it's delish." " This is so good." "I'm full but I want to keep eating." "Take a bite for me." "Did I dip it in the syrup too much?" "And, cut." "Cool." " We're coming." " Wait for me." "John, am I calling them or they calling me?" " You are calling them." " Yeah, okay." "On a Sunday?" "[Buzzing]" "Okay, just leave"

"Yeah." "But she's out of your league." "I mean, yes, but..." "But you've only slept with one girl, and this person was a lesbian who felt sorry for you." "No!" "I mean, yes, but..." "But you have no hair on your balls." "No..." "I mean..." "Yes." "I mean... no, there's lots of hair on my balls." "I don't think so, cuz." "There's none." "What?" "But... that's..." "I do have hairy balls!" "There is lots of hair on my balls." "My balls are hairy!" "My cock's hairy too!" "What do you think of that?" "Captain's log." "Experiencing turbulence." "Abnormal cosmic conditions are generating unforeseen forces." "Strange..." "Life form was wearing really nice earrings today." "Tomorrow..." "If she smiles tomorrow..." "I have you now, Congo Man." "I could get you deported, you know!" "One phone call!" "When you've finished flirting with each other, the customer toilets are in a right state." "She smiled at me..." "This is your chance." "You must seize it." "Go on, seize it." "Maybe..." "What's it worth?" "Shut up!" "# I'm no racist I like white ladies" "# I'm no racist I like white ladies" "# I'm no racist I like white ladies, yo!" "#" "Poppet not singing?" "Poppet not singing?" "I don't feel like it." "If the atoms in a container of helium gas have the same average speed as the atoms of..." "I don't care a container of argon... which is hotter?" "I don't care." "I don't bloody care!" "Edward?" "The house is on fire." "Captain's log." "Alien life form defined as Lara Lloyd." "The most beautiful girl in this or any known universe." "Jonah Jones, a pathetic wanker who will die alone in a flat full of pigeons that he calls his babies." "Mission aborted." "Fuckin' hell, my chest!" "Hello." "Hey." "You don't look well, Lara." "It's just a bit of a..." "Atchoo!" "Sorry." "She even makes mucus look good." "C'est vrai." "Atchoo!" "A-A-Atchoo!" "This looks bad, doesn't it?" "Vitamin C." "Helps your immune system fight off colds and flu, and if you're like me, it regulates your bowel movements, which is... important." "Sweet." "Tasty." "Thanks, AJ." "Lara." "I..." "My name's not AJ." "It's JJ." "Oh... right." "Silly me." "If you don't ask her out in the next ten seconds, I will." "Ten... nine... eight... seven... six..." "Thomas... wait!" "...five... four... three..." "Lara, have you got a minute?" "Get out of my way." "Lara Lloyd, would you like to go out with me tonight?" "Yes, all right." "There has been an unexpected warp in the space-time continuum." "Operation Lara is go." "Repeat, go." "Repeat, go!" "Come!" "That's an awful lot of stuff, Freddie." "Yeah, you know." "Revision." "Give me a shout if you need anything." "Are you gonna fucking help me here, or what?" "Yes, but what's?" "Freddie?" "Your bag's on fire." "Just open it." "Way-hey!" "Cook!" "Daddy's home, Jaykins." "Now, hands up who wants to play Anne Frank." "You can't just stay here." "I'm sorry, mate." "Fred's dad was getting suspicious, wasn't he?" "You'll have to keep me here for a bit." "Keep you?" "What do you mean, "keep you"?" "Her Majesty's Prison Service is supposed to be doing that!" "I escaped, all right?" "What's the problem?" "I've got a life, Cook!" "Oh, I wouldn't want to interrupt your fucking hectic social whirl, Jaykins." "FYI, things have changed, Cook." "I've got... a job!" "And a date!" "With a girl." "But this is hopeless." "I'm stressed." "I'm gonna fuck up." "And I don't know what I'm doing." "Well, let me make fucking use of myself, then, Jaykins." "How?" "What can you?" "Listen, three rules..." "One, just be cool." "Just "be cool"?" "Just "be cool"?" "Two, touch her." "Simple creatures, women, right?" "Touch her, she knows you want her." "If you don't, she starts to think she's ugly." "Right?" "Right." "Touch her." "Three, look at her pupils." "If they dilate when you look at her, it means she actually wants to play with your ding-a-ling." "Capische?" "Could you pass us that Ladyshave there, Jaykins?" "Good lad." "OK." "You need to hide in my room, hurry up." "What are you doing?" "Locking the door!" "But I need to clean your room, you know that." "Yes, but what if I have private things?" "Things you can't see?" "We don't have secrets, Jonah." "What things?" "Porn!" "I don't want you to see my pornography, Mother!" "And I know you've been looking." "Let's do this." "OK, changed her mind." "JJ?" "You're a little early." "Really?" "Yes." "Two hours early." "Watch, daylight saving, you know." "Uh!" "Idiot..." "Is it cool to arrive early?" "No." "No..." "No, of course not." "You look amazing." "Thanks." "What are you doing?" "Just... touching you." "Soft." "OK, shall we cut to the chase?" "Possibly." "Your eyes..." "Can I just check?" "Why don't you come inside?" "I just wanted to show you something." "Inside, you know?" "Over here." "JJ, I'd like you to meet someone." "This is Albert... my baby." "Your... baby." "As in?" "As in, yes, I had sex, and shazam!" "Baby." "Baby." "Baby." "Baby, that's right." "Um, maybe you could watch him for five minutes, just while I get ready?" "No problemo." "No problemo." "Cool." "Hey?" "So... there's nothing in my left hand." "There's nothing in my right hand." "Oh, you like that, do you?" "What's going on?" "Tell you what, Albert, let's see what else we can find." "What's this behind your ear?" "A pound!" "Five pounds!" "Ten pounds!" "What are you, made of money?" "!" "I don't mean to be rude, Albert, but you kind of stink." "Do I?" "Oh, Jiminy Cricket, that is disgusting!" "Oh, no." "No!" "No!" "I forbid you to do that!" "Oh!" "Help!" "Help!" "Lara!" "It's all gone tits up in here." "Argh!" "Who the fuck are you?" "I'm Jonah Jeremiah Jones, and he wee'd in my mouth!" "Who said you could touch my fucking baby?" "Nobody, nobody, but there's a lot of poo." "I'm telling you." "A lot!" "JJ, this is Liam, Albert's dad." "He baby-sits for me sometimes..." "if he's good." "Right, Liam?" "Yeah, right." "Yeah, right." "I'm ready for our date, JJ." "Change the baby, Liam." "Would you mind?" "Coming?" "I see you touch my kid again," "I'm gonna rip your lungs out." "Touch her... and I'll set them on fire and shove them up your arse." "Atta boy." "Coochie-coo!" "So, this is nice." "Yes." "Yes." "It's so lovely." "And you're..." "I see you like peanuts, even though the average bar snack does test positive for the urine of up to 16 different people." "Let's get this party started, shall we?" "Garcon!" "I'd like a Capribena, straight up, on the rocks, with a twist" "What the fuck's a Capribena?" "It's a Capri Sun and Ribena cocktail." "That's how I roll." "We haven't got any Ribena..." "or Capri Sun." "OK." "Water, tap, hold the ice." "Lady?" "I mean Lara?" "Vodka and Coke." "You heard the Lara." "Vodka and cock." "I mean Coke." "Personally, I find vodka weakens the neck of my bladder, but each to his..." "Emily?" "Hi, JJ." "Who's this?" "Hi, Emily." "This is... well, what are you?" "I'm your friend, JJ." "Yes, this is my friend, Lara." "Right." "Um... this is my friend, Mandy." "We were just leaving." "We were just leaving." "We just got here." "See you, JJ." "Nice meeting you, Lara." "She's lovely, isn't she?" "Funny..." "Funny..." "What?" "Oh, nothing." "Now, where were we?" "JJ." "Yes?" "You're touching me." "That's right." "Tell you what." "Let's keep our hands where we can see them for now, yeah?" "You cool with that?" "You cool with that?" "Oh, yes." "I am." "Um..." "So you and Liam are definitely not..." "Would I be sitting here with you if I were?" "Of course not." "Obviously." "Are your pupils usually so dilated?" "Only when I'm pissed off." "Only when I'm pissed off." "Right, OK." "Yup." "Er... cheers." "Wrong drink!" "That's gone straight through me!" "She's got a baby." "'Shit the bed!" "'" "Are her baps all shonky, then?" "'I don't know and I probably never will!" "Oh, and by the way,' her ex-boyfriend wants to shove my lungs up my arse." "On fire." "What the hell do I do?" "Get out of there, J. Abort mission, mate." "Abort mission." "Yes." "Abort." "Yes." "Do you need a hand?" "No, I'm fine." "I just..." "Oi!" "What are you doing in here?" "This is the ladies'." "Yeah." "Yes, obviously." "I just came in to... buy tampons." "For you." "As a gift." "Forget it." "This was a mistake." "Forget it." "This was a mistake." "No." "No..." "I'm the mistake!" "I'm the mistake, it's me!" "I'm a mistake." "I really like you." "Funny way of showing it." "Yeah." "This isn't going to work, is it?" "I mean, you're a ten and I'm a three." "I'm a bit funnyy." "There it is." "You should be with somebody less reliant on their mother." "Somebody with pecs and guns..." "Someone like Liam." "Liam doesn't flirt with old ladies." "O..." "K." "You flirt with old ladies." "At work, you call them signorina and tell them their lipstick looks nice." "And you're nice." "Just... will you stop trying so hard?" "Yeah?" "You're nice." "Where the fucking hell have you been?" "!" "Sorry?" "Time flies when you're having fun." "You've been gone for two days." "I've been drinking piss!" "Whose piss?" "Whose piss?" "Mine!" "Fucking hell!" "Does no-one turn down the central heating in here?" "Jesus!" "Savoury pork pie?" "You need to make this up to me." "I'm serious." "I want Chinese food - a lot of it." "I texted Freddie, he's coming over." "You and him sneak me out..." "Can't." "Me and Lara have got plans." ""Me and fucking Lara"!" "Where's the love, J?" "Hm?" "Where's the love!" "?" "Can't you just be happy for me?" "I am happy for ya, but it ain't gonna last, is it?" "Why not?" "Cos women are a mystery to us with even normal brains." "Your special noggin does not stand a chance." "Fuck!" "And I need you to sneak me into your shitter, J." "Cos I'm tellin' you, man, I've been waiting three days to drop my load." "That's how much I care." "OK?" "I haven't said anything." "No." "So... why are you writing?" "Oh, it's... it's what we do." "You're worrying." "Yes." "Just don't do that." "Actually, I'm worrying, Dr. Felly." "Really?" "I just don't know what to do." "He's eating more and he's secretive and he's looking at pornography." "Oh, you mustn't do that, JJ." "I mean, maybe if he had a real girlfriend, then..." "Yes, well... sustained relationships are something that's very difficult for someone with JJ's condition." "There's no need to worry." "I do have a real girlfriend." "But I do worry." "I can't help it." "You mustn't..." "I do have a real girlfriend." "I have sex with her every day!" "Oh, JJ!" "Secrets." "You know, JJ, I'm not sure you should do that." "Have you told her about your condition?" "No, of course I haven't!" "And why is that?" "Because I don't want her to think I'm a psycho!" "You're not a psycho." "No!" "No." "Now, these are lovely little pills." "Calm you down." "Stop the urges, that kind of thing." "Stop the urges, that kind of thing." "Shove it up your cock!" "It's a strain, I know, coping with everything by yourself." "It's all right." "I'm all right." "I just wasn't... ready for..." "Don't worry!" "If I might say, that's a very nice frock you have on today, Celia." "You do look charming." "You really shouldn't do that, Eric." "Oh, I know..." "I mustn't." "You." "Hello again." "I'm not a psycho!" "It's not really looking too good, is it, mental box?" "Liam, please, please, don't..." "Don't tell the mother of my child she's going out with a fruit loop?" "Yes." "Please don't tell her that." "OK." "Really?" "Nah." "Not really." "I can't wait to tell her all about you." "You ain't going to win this one, you know, mate." "Lara and me - we've got a baby." "And all you've got is... a ticket for the special bus." "I want to meet her." "I mean..." "Have your friends met her?" "You sure you're ready for this?" "I'm sure they're lovely." "I'm just wondering..." "have you spoken to Liam recently?" "No." "Liam's being a tit." "Why?" "Oh, no reason." "Welcome to the house of fun." "So, I wanted you to meet Naomes and Emily, cos they're really... fun." "Right." "So, Laauraa..." "Lara." "Yeah." "Isn't that what I just said?" "Um... how old is it?" "He's nine months." "Um... would you mind not, you know, smoking a spliff?" "Oh, shit, sorry." "I'm such a tit." "Tell me about it." "Anyway... after we ran into Emily the other night," "I thought, "Why not just..." "come down?"" "Have you... have you already met?" "Um... yeah." "It was a coincidence." "Yeah, you were with that nice..." "JJ, will you go over my politics coursework?" "I don't do politics." "Yeah." "Just come and look, OK?" "What's going on?" "Nothing." "Nothing!" "Nothing, OK?" "Are you?" "If you're cheating..." "I mean..." "I just..." "like Mandy." "Nothing's happened." "Because that would be bad, Ems." "You think I want to get into another relationship?" "Relationships suck." "They really fucking suck." "Mine doesn't." "Look at her - she's using you." "What?" "Wh..." "How?" "She's..." "I dunno." "Maybe it's the kid." "Maybe she's trying to get back at someone." "Otherwise, why would she?" "Why would she be with a mental basket like me?" "I'm trying to protect you." "Get out before she kicks the shit out of you, because she will." "Lara's not Naomi!" "And..." "I'm not you." "I have... trust" "I have... 75% trust" "You're running on empty." "And it takes a mental basket to tell you that." "Just remember who you can rely on." "OK?" "Your friends are weird." "You just have to get used to them." "OK." "Right." "When we get in there, let me do all the explaining." "OK?" "JJ, I'm just your girlfriend." "We're OK, right?" "Yeah." "Look... no." "No-one's "just" anything to me." "I'm a bit all or nothing." "In fact, I'm a little bit..." "Hello." "You must be Lara." "I've been so looking forward to..." "We've been looking..." "We..." "We've been..." "Edward, um..." "this is Lara, JJ's girlfriend, and, um..." "Albert." "Albert." "Baby Albert." "I beg your pardon?" "So, Lara, does little Albert have a father?" "Yes, he does, Celia." "They usually do." "Silly!" "Of course he does - listen to me!" ""No, Celia!" "He's a medical marvel!"" "Edward, have you got anything to say?" "I..." "I don't think so." "No." "Right!" "Well, then..." "Sorry!" "No more questions." "Let's have a cup of tea and a nice slut..." "Chat!" "A nice cha... at." "Oh, my God!" "OK." "I think I'm going to go change him, leave you to it." "Where's the?" "Top of the stairs..." "I thought you wanted me to be normal and have a girlfriend!" "I do!" "I..." "I... did." "I thought I did." "Dad?" "I know nothing." "JJ, the toilet's locked." "Shitification!" "But we're all... down here." "Lara!" "Wait... no..." "Why is it locked?" "Security!" "Very important!" "JJ, what's going on?" "Nothing." "Why is the door locked?" "Have you got the key?" "I'm so sorry." "I don't know what came over me." "It's fine." "It's a little while since I was called a slut, but..." "The baby was a bit of a surprise." "Can we all just go downstairs?" "Actually, I need to pee too." "No, no, no." "You can't." "JJ, open the door." "See, he's not ready for..." "I'm sure he can decide for himself, can't he?" "It's not exactly your business." "Go downstairs." "You could pee in the yard." "Don't be ridiculous!" "Go and get a screwdriver." "Actually, I think it is." "Maybe JJ hasn't told you about himself." "All right, that's it." "I've had enough." "Lara..." "No." "Just leave me alone." "You're all fucking mental!" "Open the door, Cook." "Hello, Celia." "James." "Aren't you supposed to be in jail?" "Yes." "Well, can I suggest that you bugger off before I even remember I've seen you?" "Can I finish my left side?" "I really need you to try harder, Edward." "OK?" "OK." "You're a man, aren't you, Screaming J?" "You're a man of flesh and blood and fight and spunk and hair and fists." "J, you find this Liam twat and you have it out with him, man to man." "Like you and Freddie did with Effy?" "No." "That's..." "Lot of good it did." "She went crazy." "Where are you going?" "Naomi's, I guess." "You're sort of running out of places." "Thanks, man." "And... thanks for the shagging tips - they really, really work." "Spunk, yeah?" "!" "Spunk!" "It's all we've got." "I can't talk to you right now, JJ." "Well, I want to talk to you!" "Mate, didn't you hear her?" "She doesn't want to." "I'm not your mate." "Look, just..." "Listen, I warned you, psycho." "I told you to stay away from my family." "OK, cool your boots!" "Everybody keep calm, please." "She's not yours, she's mine!" "Not any more she ain't, mate." "JJ." "You'll lose your job." "We all will." "OK." "I'm calm." "I'm calm, OK?" "I am a psycho!" "I'm a fucking psycho!" "JJ, stop!" "She loves me!" "You'll lose your job!" "JJ!" "You're fucking nothing, OK?" "!" "I don't think we should see each other any more, JJ." "Come on." "Fucking psycho!" "I'm a fucking..." "We had a lot of arguments, your mum and me, way back when she started taking you to these doctors." "I just let her get on with it, you know." "She had this..." "love in her, this care, that was... so strong, and..." "I knew in many ways it might be too strong you know, if we both..." "felt like that." "It can be a burden to a kid..." "She didn't do anything wrong." "No, no, she didn't, she..." "I suppose I just..." "couldn't see the point." "All these... bits of paper with this and that... stupid diagnosis, and... nobody knows anything anyway." "I used to pick you up from playschool, and all the other boys would be running round, shouting, fighting, normal." "You'd be sitting making telescopes out of toilet rolls." "And well..." "I just..." "Er..." "I just... wanted you to know how I felt about that, and..." "How do you feel about it, Dad?" "Well..." "I felt you'd always be all right." "I thought you could come through anything." "I think you can come through anything, J." "Thank you for the flowers." "Right." "You look nice in that dress." "Thank you." "People do say that." "Good." "Captain's log." "Let's refuel this goddamn ship." "Boy, you really fucked it." "Big time." "Yeah." "You can hit me." "If it makes you feel better, then... hit me." "What?" "Sooner or later, you're going to punch my lights out." "So..." "I figure... better get it over and done with." "I love her." "I can't fucking help it." "I love her, all right?" "Yeah." "Me too." "It's a problem." "Well, it's not too much of a problem, is it, mate?" "She thinks you're a cunt." "I am a cunt." "Because..." "I didn't trust her to like me." "You said it, mate." "And she's clever, like..." "She's too clever for you or me." "I am... sorry." "We've got a kid together." "And that ain't going to go away." "And I will not give him up for nobody." "I never thought..." "What..." "what are you trying to say, Liam?" "She doesn't love me back." "It's... it's not her fault." "But I love my kid, and she's given it respect." "So whatever you do it better be fucking good." "What the fuck?" "Piss off, will you?" "You'll wake the fucking..." "JJ?" "What are you doing?" "I told you, I don't want to talk to you right now." "# So true" "# Funny how it seems" "# Always in time" "# But never in line for dreams" "# Head over heels when toe to toe" "# This is the sound of my soul" "# This is the sound" "# I bought a ticket to the world" "# But now I've come back again" "# Why do I find it hard to write the next line" "# When I want the truth to be said?" "# Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha" "# I know this much is true" "# Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha" "# I know this much is" "# True!" "#" "Take it away." "# This much is true-oo" "# This much is true-oo-oo" "# I know, I know I know this much is true" "# This much is true-oo This much is true-oo-oo" "# I know this much is" "# True... #" "We should have done it in B flat." "Oi!" "Maestro!"

"Barry:" "Mynameis BarryAllen, andI am thefastestmanalive." "Totheoutsideworld,I'm an ordinary forensic scientist, butsecretly,withthe help of my friends at S.T.A.R. Labs," "Ifightcrimeand find othermeta-humanslikeme." "Inanattempttostop theevilspeedsterSavitar," "Iwasaccidentallythrust intothefuture, andI sawhimmurder thewomanthatIlove ." "ButI won'tletthathappen." "I'mgonnado everything inmypower tochangethefuture, andI 'mtheonlyone fastenoughto keepher alive." "IamTheFlash." "Previouslyon"TheFlash"..." "It's definitely a meta." "I think this is someone new." " I'm Cisco, by the way." "You must be Gypsy." "So is this good-bye, then?" " For now." " Caitlin, you do not want to do this." " Time for me to own who I really am." " You're one of the strongest people I've ever known." "You can win this fight." "[warbling tone]" " Jesse!" " No, no." " What's wrong?" " Grodd." "He's got my dad." "He has him in Gorilla City." "[dramaticmusic] [creature roaring]" "♪♪" " [grunting and panting] [creature roaring]" "♪♪ [creature shrieking]" "♪♪ [creature roaring]" " It's been two weeks since he disappeared." "I mean, no one's seen or heard from him since." " Slow down." "Just start from the beginning." "Okay, why did your dad go to Gorilla City?" " Wait, can we slow down even further?" "What the hell is a Gorilla City?" " Okay, so..." "[clears throat]" "There are sentient, highly intelligent evolved gorillas in Earth-2." "And they all live in a city deep in the heart of Africa." " We sent Grodd there when he went after Fay Wray here." " Grodd's there?" " Mm." " Why on Earth, any Earth, would your father want to go there?" " I mean, we received a mathematical cryptogram at our S.T.A.R. Labs." "It was highly complex." "It took a week to decode it, but my dad and I did." " What did it say?" " It was an invitation from the gorillas to my dad." " Why Harry?" " They wanted to meet him." "So he mounted an expedition with ten other people, and they went into the jungle." "But they failed multiple check-ins, and a search party went in after them." "But all they found were the bodies... all of them beaten to death." "[sombermusic]" "But no one's seen my dad." "♪♪" "I mean, is he" " No." "No, he's alive." "They-- they went to a lot of trouble to get him there." "They need him for something." "We're gonna figure out what that is." " Oh!" "There you guys are." "I've been looking all over for you." "Are we going for coffee or what?" " Dad!" " Ah, oh." "Yes, that's how you say good morning, people-- with hugs." "Hi!" " Jesse, that's not who you think it is." "This is H.R." "You met him briefly before you left last time." " At your service, madame." " He's Harry's replacement." " Some would say improvement." " Um, this is Harry's daughter." " Yeah." " He's been kidnapped." " He--I didn't know." "I'm so s" "I thought" " Sorry about that." " I'm sorry, too." "I'm sorry I took the smile from your face." " What are you thinking about?" " [sighs] The future." "This headline from the future:" "the city's still recovering from a gorilla attack." " So you're thinking this headline and Harry being taken are tied together." " I mean, it can't be a coincidence, right?" "Harry getting lured to Gorilla City?" "Grodd must be planning something." " Seems like he's planning to come back to this Earth." " And not alone, by the sound of it." " If we rescue Harry, then maybe that stops whatever Grodd's planning here, and maybe that changes the future." " Which would change my future." " Mm." "So we save Harry, we save Iris." "But you're not sure." " No, but..." "I'm going either way." "Harry's my friend." "I'm not gonna just abandon him." "I'm going back to Earth-2." " And I suppose you'll want somebody to come with you who's gonna open those breaches for you?" " We had so much fun last time." " Fun-ish." "I'm in." " I'm gonna come too." "I have a special connection with Grodd." "Maybe we can use that to get through to him." " Yes, okay." " Great, yeah, I'm coming too." " No." "I'm sorry, Jesse, no." " Look, I didn't come here for you to take all the risk." "I'm going to help." " Your dad would kill me if I let you come along." " I'm a Speedster now, okay?" "I can take care of myself." " I know, which is exactly why" "I need you to stay here." "I mean, this city needs protecting while we're gone." "Besides, maybe you can teach Wally a thing or two." " Wait, what is he talking about?" " Um... [vibrating]" " Wow." "So you're-- you're a Speedster now" " Yeah, we're both Speedsters now." " Great, yeah, that's, uh... [clears throat] That's awesome." " I, um--I thought she'd be more excited than that." " Hey, Julian, would you maybe be able to cover for me at work for the next few days?" " Few days?" "Why?" " I--I just, um, have a thing-- we're--it's just-- it's Flash stuff." " Such as?" " [exhales sharply]" "A friends of ours is lost on a parallel Earth, and we're gonna go get him back." " A parallel Earth?" " Yeah." " This is the-- this is the multiverse." "[exhales]" "I'm fascinated." "And do you often travel to other Earths?" " No, I-- well, when I have to." "Look, Julian, will you just tell Singh that," "I don't know, I'm under the weather or something?" "It's--you know, it is kind of what we do on Team Flash." "We cover for each other." " What does Caitlin think of all this multiverse hopping?" "Does she approve?" " She's coming with me." " You're letting her go?" " It's her choice." " Allen, it's not a wise move, surely." "She can barely control her cold powers as is." "I mean" " We might need her for Grodd." " Grodd?" "Gr" "Telepathic gorilla?" " Yeah." " Where--where are you going?" "Are you going to Planet of the Apes?" " No, it's just a city of them, okay?" "Will you cover for me?" " Are you going to Planet of the Apes?" " I'm not going to Planet of the Apes, okay?" "Calm down." "Will you cover for me?" " I got you." "Yeah, of course." " Okay, thank you." "See you in a few days." " All right, now." " And make sure Wally doesn't" "I won't." " Because, you know, sometimes he can be a little" " Barry" " You know, if given the opportunity" " Barry, I am very good at bossing my little brother around, okay?" "Don't worry." " All right." " Just please don't do anything stupid." " You mean like voluntarily going to a city of super apes?" " I'm being serious." "Rescue Harry." "But other than that, you--you don't have to do this for me." " Everything I do is for you." " Good." " Y'all know Wally can hear you, right?" " Sorry, Wally." " Be safe." "Hey, you see anything hinky, you run." "Listen to me." "I don't need to tell you that." " I promise." " All right." "[sighs]" " [laughing]" " Detective." " [laughs]" " Hmm." "[giggles] Indiana Jones much?" " Cisco, my friend, this is not my first expedition, and believe me, this is the perfect attire." " Wait, Julian, what's going on?" "I thought you were gonna cover for me." " I spoke to Captain Singh." "He thinks we're at a morphology conference up in Bludhaven." "So if it's all the same to you..." " All right." " You don't have to come, Julian." "You don't even know Harry." " [chuckles] A chance to travel to another dimension" "I mean, I wasn't gonna miss that." " We're not going sightseeing." " Neither am I." " Well, damn." " All right, Jesse, Wally, you make sure this city's safe while I'm gone, all right?" " We will." " Hey, Barry." "If you--if you see my dad, just tell him" " You'll see him real soon, Jesse." "Speedster's honor." "[dramaticmusic]" "All right, let's do this." " Okay." "Earth-2, here we come." "[warbling tone]" "♪♪ [energy surging]" "[panting] How was that?" " Bloody brilliant." " [laughs]" " Wow." "[creatures grunting]" " Well, we made it." "[creatures grunting]" "♪♪" " Welcome to the jungle, baby." "♪♪" " [sighs] Earth-2 Africa." "Not hot." "Guess global warming's not really a thing here." "[bug buzzing, hand slaps] But bugs are." " Someone please help me out." "How exactly does saving someone on this Earth prevent an attack on ours?" " If Grodd is planning to attack, he's gonna need to open a breach to our Earth, and the only one over here that can open one is" " Harrison Wells." " Harrison Wells, yeah." "So if we save him from Grodd, then he can't get to our Earth, the attack never happens, we change the future, and we're one step closer to saving Iris." "[footsteps tapping]" " Hey." "You want to go for a run?" " Uh, yeah, yeah." "Maybe later." " Are you okay?" " Yeah." "Yeah, I'm fine." " Look, I know I haven't been great at keeping in touch." "It's just everything's been so crazy trying to train with Barry and shadowing him, and I just haven't had that much time for other things." " Yeah, or other people." " That is not what I meant." " No, look, I--I get it." "Trust me." "It's not easy being a hero, is it?" " No, but I love every minute of it." " Great." " Are you sure you're okay?" "Because" " Yeah." "I'm just worried about my dad." "[pensivemusic]" "♪♪" " Hey." " [whispers] Hey." "♪♪" " I hope we didn't interrupt you two." " [sighs] Nope." "Nothing to interrupt." " Mm." " Aren't you-- you aren't happy she's back?" " I am." "I just wish she felt the same." "Ever since she got here, she's been acting so weird with me." "I--I don't know if it's because I have powers or if it's just me." " Wally, she's probably still just upset because her father's missing, right?" " Yeah, it's hard to focus on other things when something like that is weighing you down." " Yeah, Wally." "She'll be fine." "Just give her some time, and then, you know, lock it down." " Uhh, lock it down, hmm?" " Yeah." "What, you think I didn't notice that your Facebook profile still says "single"?" " What?" "I mean, technically, I'm still single." "[alarms beeping]" " What was it?" " Ugh, robbery in progress at O'Sullivan Bank." " You two go." "[rousingmusic] [whooshing] [papers rustling]" "♪♪" " Come on, let's go." "[whooshing]" " Didn't hear the news, huh?" " What news?" " [laughs] That you don't mess with Kid Flash." " We got to get back to our friends." "They're expecting us." " Yeah, they picked some real winners." " I know, which is more than I can say for you two." "♪♪" " Be right back." "[whooshing] [blows thudding, men grunting and groaning] [whooshing]" "Sorry, I-- I had to stretch my legs." " Mm." " Hey, guys, come out." "[indistinct chatter, applause]" " Oh, it's--it's nothing to see here, guys." "It's just a couple fools getting their asses handed to 'em." "[applause] Thank you." "Oh, my gosh, thank you." "[laughs] [applause continues]" "♪♪ [device beeping]" " Ah." "[sighing]" "Want some water?" " I'm okay, thanks." " It's important to stay hydrated on a parallel Earth." " So weird being back here on this alternate universe." "This is where I met my doppelganger, the evil one." "Killer Frost." " Ah." " She's the one I'm always afraid of becoming." " And where is she now?" " Dead." " That's not gonna happen to you, Caitlin." "[pensivemusic]" " I'm glad you came with us, Julian." "You're a nice addition to the team." " Yeah, well," "I live for danger." "[device beeping]" " We're close, guys." "[tensemusic]" "♪♪ [beeping continues] [device trilling]" " Do you hear that?" " This is it." "♪♪ [trilling continues] [forebodingmusic]" "♪♪" " It's a trap." "[darts whizzing] Ugh!" "[all groaning] [dramaticmusic]" "♪♪" "[ echoing]Welcome,Caitlin." "Knewyou'dcome..." "Flash." "[dramaticmusic] [gorillas grunting]" "♪♪ [eeriemusic]" "♪♪ [distant roaring]" " [groans] [creature growls] [forebodingmusic]" " [sighs]" " You guys all right?" " Yeah, I'm okay." " Yeah, me too." " I've lost my gun, but I'm all right." " Well, looks like you're gonna have to phase us out of here." "♪♪ [faint buzzing] [buzzing fades]" " I can't." "I" "I don't know." "Something's holding me back." "Can you open a breach?" "[warbling tone] [warbling fades]" " No dice." " Yeah." "I don't think it's the cell." "I..." "Grodd must be dampening our powers somehow." " Okay." "[footsteps thudding]" "♪♪" " Harry?" "[sighs]" "You're all right." " Wells." "Hey!" "You got to help us get out of here before the gorillas come back." " Hello, Flash." "[growling and screeching]" " Grodd." " What?" "That's Grodd the gorilla?" "He's talking through Wells?" "That's a--a thing?" " Yeah." "Yeah, sort of trips you out at first, but trust me, you get used to it." " Grodd, let him go." "This is between you and me." " Not yet." "I need him." " For what?" "Why'd you lure him here?" " For you." "Need your help." " Help?" "Got a funny way of asking for it." " You sent me here!" "Remember?" "[growling] [roaring]" "To live in this hell!" "Where I am forced to serve under the rule of Solovar." " Who's Solovar?" " Leader of Gorilla Kind." "Ruler of Gorilla City." "And now... he wants to rule the humans." "He will bring war to your Earth." " Why?" " He has seen many conflicts between gorillas and humans." "He is afraid the humans will attack, but now that you're here, he will bring the fight to you." " So you lured us here to stop him?" " As trespassers... you will be sent to the arena and executed." " What?" "How about a signpost at the front?" ""All trespassers will be executed."" "That wouldn't be the worst idea, would it?" " Will be Solovar's great honor to kill you... himself." " Mm." " But, Flash... if he were to be defeated, the other gorillas would see his weakness and would no longer follow him." " Well, I'm not gonna kill anyone, not even a gorilla." " Kill or be killed!" "This is the only law Gorilla Kind understands." " How do you benefit from this, Grodd?" " Solovar falls." "I take his place." "I rule the gorillas, and I promise to keep them in Gorilla City." "♪♪" " How do we know we can trust you?" " Because... even though you sent me away, your Earth is still my home." "And there are those among you" "I will never forget." "[ringing] [footsteps thudding]" "[ echoing]KillSolovar, andCentralCity willbespared." "Fail,andseeyourhome turnedtoash." "[dramaticmusicalflourish]" " Hey, Jesse, you got a sec?" "Did I do something wrong?" " [sighs] I don't-- I don't think so." " Okay, then why are you being so cold with me?" "Jesse, come on, you can talk to me." "I know that this is about more than just your dad." " [sighs] [pensivemusic]" "Look, I guess..." "I guess I thought one day we'd figure out a way to be together." "You know, but now that you have your powers, it's..." "It's like I never hear from you." " Jesse, if--if you would," "I want you to stay." " I can't." " Why?" "Because of your dad?" "Because Barry is going to find him." " Look, you don't know that, okay?" "You don't." "♪♪ [sighs] When I first got my power, you were so lost not having yours." "You know, and I thought maybe part of the reason why you liked me was... 'cause you were attracted to the speed and not me." " [chuckles]" " I know, I know, okay?" "But I saw you out there today... being Kid Flash." "Okay, and you were complete, Wally." "You were scary complete." " I could have all the speed in the world." "I'm not complete without you." "♪♪" "Stay." "♪♪" "[insects buzzing and trilling, creatures roaring faintly]" " Barry, do you really think you could kill this Solovar?" "Do you think you could take a life?" "[footsteps booming, creatures growling] [dramaticmusic]" "♪♪" "Itis as Ifeared." "Thehumanscourtwar withGorillaKind." "Whydidyounot tellme, Grodd, morehumans hadenteredthecity?" "I wasabouttoinformyou, Solovar." " [roaring]" "Why?" "Whyareyou here?" "Tostudyus likeanimals?" "Makeusyourpets?" " No, no." "I'm--I..." "[sighs]" "We came here in peace." "[stammers]" "We entered your city by mistake." "Uh, we mean you no harm." "Please... just let me and my friends go, and I promise, we'll never come back here again." "[ringing]" " My brethren have seen you." "Your fate is sealed." "You will all die by my hand... in the arena... so that all will know that Solovar's justice is wise and swift." "♪♪" " All right, I'll make you a deal." "I'll fight you in the arena-- just me." "But if I beat you, you let my friends go, and you leave us alone for good." " [grunting]" " I accept." "Humans and their arrogance." "First you will suffer." "Then I will grant you each... a horrible death." "♪♪" "[dramaticmusic]" "♪♪ [gorillas growling and screeching]" "♪♪" "[gorillas growling and screeching]" " Speedster versus super gorilla." "Best worst video game ever." " Do you really think that Barry can beat Solovar?" " Well, he'd better, for all of our sakes." "[horns blaring]" " It's starting." "[gorillas growling and screeching] [horns blaring]" "♪♪" "Afteryoudie , yourfriendswillfollowyou intotheblack." " We'll see." " Okay, Barry." "I got a plan for you." "It's all about the speed punches." " Speed punches." "Come on, Barry." " [roaring] [suspensefulmusic]" "♪♪ [gorillas growling and screeching]" "♪♪" " [moans]" "Changeof plan,Barry." "It's all about the running away." "[footsteps thudding] [whooshing]" " [roaring]" "♪♪" " What about a lightning throw?" " Yes, Barry, lightning throw!" " Worth a shot!" "♪♪" " [roaring]" "♪♪" "[heavy crash]" "♪♪" " That's oh for two." " [whispers] Come on, Barry, get up." " [groaning]" " All my days, this is quite the reversal of our fortune." "[suspensefulmusic]" " Reversal... ♪♪" "Barry, it's time to pull a reverse Flash." " [roaring]" " Do it!" "[energy pulsing] [rousingmusic]" "♪♪" " [laughing] He did it!" "He actually did it." "He bloody well did it." " [panting] [gorillas grunting and screeching]" "♪♪" "I won't kill him!" "I won't!" " [grunting]" " I know you all fear humans!" "[panting]" "You think we want war with Gorilla Kind!" "[sighs]" "We don't!" "[panting]" "We're not all murderers and killers!" "We only want peace!" "♪♪" "Which is why I'm sparing your leader!" "We call it mercy!" " [growling] [echoing]Takehimout ." "[dart whizzes] - [grunts] [ominousmusicalflourish]" "♪♪" "[water dripping] [gorillas grunting faintly] [groaning]" "Oh...what happened?" " Congratulations." "You won." " What about Harry?" " He's still catatonic." " [groans] [ringing] [groans]" " Flash." " I won." "Solovar promised to let us go." " No." " No?" "What do you..." "I don't understand." " Solovar's words mean nothing now." " You never had any intentions of letting us go, did you?" " I told you I needed you." "I could not defeat Solovar in combat, but you could." "You did, and now I am the ruler of Gorilla City, and all the gorillas will follow me." "[ominousmusic]" " Solovar never wanted to attack Central City." "You do." " You took my home away from me, and now I will take it back!" "The gorillas saw what you did, Flash." "They saw you defeat Solovar, and now they are afraid of humans and will do anything I order, and I will order them to invade your Earth, and your city will burn." " You were planning this the whole time." " Yes." "Father taught me well." "Always think ahead." "And I had plenty of time to think in cages built by you and then by Solovar." " Then why don't you just kill us?" "Huh?" "Since we already did your damn dirty work for you." " Still need you." " I'm not doing anything for you." " Not you, Flash." "You." "[eeriemusic]" " Me?" " You will open the breach to First Earth." "My army will cross that breach, and all the humans in Central City will burn before Gorilla Kind!" " Grodd, you are smart, maybe smarter than all of us, smart enough to know that you cannot do this." "Intelligence and violence, they're opposites from each other." "What you want to do, it's not logical, not for someone as wise as you are." " You forget, Flash," "I am an animal." "I am a gorilla." "Kill or be killed!" " I'm gonna get out of this cell, and I'm gonna stop you." "[ringing] [body thuds]" " [sighs] - [roaring]" "No,youwon't." "Youwilldie." "[dramaticmusicalflourish]" "[insects trilling and buzzing] [low warbling] [dramaticmusic]" "♪♪" " Snow?" " You okay?" " I..." "I have a headache, I guess." "[sniffs] Ugh!" "[exhales sharply] And I think" "I--is that me?" "I smell." " That counts as okay." " Jesse, my daughter." "Where's" " She's fine." "She's on Earth-1." "She's totally fine." " [sighs]" "Barry?" "Cisco." "You guys all came for me?" " A city of evil genius apes." "Sounded like fun." " Well, I don't deserve it, but... thank you, Snow;" "thank you, Barry," "Cisco..." "Indiana." " It's Julian Albert, thank you." "And I came along for" "I live for danger." " Looks like you came to the right place." " I still can't phase through the bars." "We have to find a way out of here so we can stop him." " You keep saying that, but what if we can't get out?" "What if we're stuck here?" "What if this is the way" " Well, we can't think like that." "♪♪" "While there's life, there's hope." "♪♪" " And if there isn't life?" " What is that supposed to mean?" " Grodd needs me to open the breach so he can attack Earth-1." "What if I wasn't alive to do that?" " You planning on dying?" " Only if you kill me." " [scoffs]" " Look, this is something we have to consider." "Right now, I can't think of any other way to stop them." "They'd have no other way of getting to Central City." " He's right." "Cisco's death would change the newspaper headline in the future." " Headline?" " It's a long story." " But it would also make another one come true, the one about Killer Frost." "♪♪" " You want me to kill you?" " Think about it." "Grodd doesn't know you have cold powers." "You might be able to use them." " Cold powers?" "She--you have cold powers?" "I knew it." "I knew that you and I did not get Barry out of that mirror." " Wait, now." "Caitlin." "If you kill someone, there's no going back." "You'll be Killer Frost for the rest of your life." "Now, I did not come all this way to see that happen." "[pensivemusic]" " Did you come here because you "live for danger"" "or to protect me?" "♪♪" " I just don't want to see you become something you're not." "♪♪" " Okay, Cisco." "I'm not gonna kill you, and neither is anyone else, okay?" "So let's come up with the next best plan that doesn't involve murdering one of our friends." " No, Cisco's right." "It's the only way." "One of us has to die." "[sombermusic]" " [humming] [tapping rhythmically]" "Ho!" "Hey." " Hi." " What you doing up there?" " Just, uh, hanging out." " What're you-- what're you thinking about?" " [sighs] Wally." "He wants me to stay here with him." " Ah." "[chuckles]" "Yeah, he does." "[laughs]" "Guy is no dummy." "Congratulations." "Oh, that's great." "Love..." "Nothing like young love." " Yeah, I just-- I don't" "I don't know if it's the right thing." " Why?" " He's on his own journey." "Besides, my dad just got captured by gorillas." "And if--if he does come back, how could I ever tell him I'm leaving?" " Well, 'cause you're human." "That's--that's how." "That's what we do." "Look, my point is this." "When it comes to love, you got to go for it." "You know?" "Everything else be damned." "'Cause if you don't, you're gonna end up being the kind of person that lives the rest of their life with regret." "I mean, I know that telling your dad that, you know, you're-- you're switching Earths, that's gonna be a difficult conversation to have, but one that you've to go for if you want to be happy." "But that's, you know, just my opinion." "What do I know?" "I'm just a handsomer guy than your dad with a song in his heart." "Good luck, Jesse." "♪♪" " [sighs deeply] [footsteps thudding] [tensemusic]" "♪♪ [footsteps continue]" "♪♪ [deep growl]" " [voice breaking] He started coughing...violently." "And then he clutched his side and keeled over." " [grunts]" " The injury... it must have ruptured one of his kidneys." "♪♪" "He went into shock." "His heart stopped." "I couldn't resuscitate him." "[door clanging]" " [growling]" "♪♪" "Cold." " [sobs] He's dead." " [growling]" "Hewasof no use tomeanyway." "[roars] [ominousmusic]" "♪♪" "[growling]" " [whispering] He's gone, Barry." "Grodd is gone." "[pensivemusic]" "♪♪ [low trilling]" " Come on, mate." "♪♪ [dramaticmusic]" " [gasping]" "♪♪" " Yo, it worked!" " Shh!" " [softly] It worked." " Allen, Allen, you all right, mate?" " Yeah." "Yeah, I'm good." " I didn't freeze you too much, did I?" " [gasping, exhales sharply]" "No." "I'm good." " Well, then... let's get the hell out of here." " Yeah." "[grunting]" "♪♪" "Go!" " All right." " [whispers] Hallelujah." " [gasps] [gasps] Let's go." "♪♪ [grunts] All right." "We should be far enough out that you should be able to use your powers." " We need a breach open right now." " Guys, we got to go before they realize we're gone!" "[distant roars]" " It's too late for that." "[gorillas roaring, footsteps pounding]" " Run!" " Run!" " Open a breach!" " Time to warp out of this madhouse." "[suspensefulmusic]" " All right, go." "[grunting] [warbling tone]" " [roaring] [ominousmusic] [roaring]" "[reflectivemusic]" " Hey, gang, who wants to take their mind off their troubles with a "sure to take your mind off your troubles" game of charades?" "I'll go first." "Okay, ah, let's see." "Movie--I mean... one word." "[shivering] [electronic beeping]" "♪♪" " Dad!" " [sighs] [laughing]" "Aww." " You okay?" " Good, yeah." "I'm sorry you guys missed it." " I ain't." " Ohhh." " Word of advice:" "don't volunteer for these things." "Nothing ever tries to rip you limb from limb if you don't volunteer." " I'm fine." "I'm so fine, thanks-- thanks to our friends, our good friends." " You're welcome, Harry." " Wow, I--I think" "I just forgot how handsome you were." " Oh, I forgot." "He's--you're still here." " Yeah." "Still here." " I guess we have your tactical and technical genius to thank for getting us out of that fix." " No, no, nah." " Nah?" " Nah." "You were completely right about him." "He's a total fraud." "He's not even a scientist." "And I'm sure you couldn't even remember an ATM code if you tried." " [scoffs] All those-- all those numbers." " It's only four digits." "Why is he still here?" " Because we couldn't do it without him." " I thank you, Francisco." " Fran--Francisco?" " Don't ask." " Yo, so what actually happened?" "You fight some really super-smart apes, or what?" " Yeah." "Yeah, we did." "And they were smart, but today, at least, we were a bit smarter." "[dramaticmusicalflourish]" " How's he doing?" " He's gonna be okay." "He's got some cuts and bruises, but Caitlin said he just needs food and a little sleep." " Okay." " Hey, I'm..." "I'm sorry for being an epic basket case lately." " My, um...my dad was kidnapped once, and it turns your world." " You turn my world, Wally." "Look, I--I need you to be honest about something." " Of course." " When my dad wakes up, if I tell him that I love him and I'll always be his daughter but that I want to move to Earth-1, what would you think about-- [tendermusic]" "♪♪" " That's what I think of that." " I'm glad we think alike." " [clears throat and coughs]" "I see you're-- you took my love advice." "You know, when it comes to scientific advice, mine is sometimes specious, but when it comes to affairs of the heart, well, I consider myself a genius." " Okay, yeah, we're gonna go now." " Yeah." " Yeah." " Okay, great." "Congratulations." "I'm happy for you." "Invite me to the wedding." "[slurps]" "He's gonna be so pissed." "[whimsicalmusic]" " Caitlin." "Wait." "[sighs]" "Listen, if I overstepped, then I apologize." "Just, after drinks the other night" " You were willing to risk your life for me?" " I've been doing a lot of silly things recently." "I thought adding one more to the list wouldn't do any harm." " I like you, Julian." "I do." "And I like that you like me." "But I'm also afraid of my powers-- and not what they could do to me, but what they could do to anyone who gets close to me." " Caitlin, I'm not afraid." " You should be." "Fear me, Julian." "It's not a threat, just... good advice." "[gentlemusic]" " Okay, fine." "I'll fear you." "You know what really helps me when I'm scared?" " What?" " Just a good fillet steak... bit of béarnaise on the side, mashed potatoes-- does the trick ever time." " Really?" " I promise." "I think we should find a local steak house and be terrified together." "♪♪" " Sure." "Together it is." " [chuckles]" "♪♪" " Well..." " Hmm." " We did it." " You did it." " No, uh, we all did it." "We changed the future without changing who we are." "If we can keep doing this, we can stop Savitar." "Wherever he is, however he's gonna come at us," "I can stop him." "I know it now." " How do you do that?" " Do what?" " Stay positive in the face of overwhelming odds." " [chuckles]" "Because I plan on living a long life with you, and nothing's gonna take that away from me." " Good." "[tendermusic]" "So does that mean no more nightmares?" "You're finally gonna get some sleep tonight?" " Well...that last part is entirely up to you." " Oh." "[chuckles]" "♪♪ [dramaticmusic] [gorillas growling]" "LikeItoldFlash, alwaysthinkahead." "Nowyouwillopenthebreaches andverysoon," "CentralCity willfallbeforeGrodd." "♪♪" " Greg, move your head."

"My name is Michael Westen." "I used to be a spy until..." "We got a burn notice on you." "You're blacklisted." "When you're burned, you've got nothing -- no cash, no credit, no job history." "You're stuck in whatever city they decide to dump you in." " Where am I?" " Miami." "You do whatever work comes your way." "You rely on anyone who's still talking to you." "A trigger-happy girlfriend..." "Should we shoot them?" "...an old friend who used to inform on you to the FBI..." "You know spies -- a bunch of bitchy little girls." "...family, too..." "Hey, is that your mom again?" "...if you're desperate...." "Someone needs your help, Michael." "...and a down-and-out spy you met along the way." "That's how we do it, people." "Bottom line -- as long as you're burned, you're not going anywhere." "In prison, there is no such thing as good attention." "It's better to be a number than to be known." "Take off her restraints." "Because with anonymity comes safety." "So whether you're dealing with a fellow inmate, a guard, or the warden herself, the last thing you want is for your name to be on their mind." "Inmate Glenanne." "We have a room waiting for you in cell block 9." "That is the wing for high-risk offenders." "See, I heard about the incident between you and inmate Doneski." "So what we're going to do is have you sign a request for protective custody and put you in the segregated wing." "I'd rather not." "I'm doing my best to help you right now." "High-profile prisoners get special treatment around here -- not the good kind." "I appreciate your concern, Warden, but I can take care of myself." "You got a death wish, play it out in someone else's facility." "Sign the damn form." "Well, it is my choice, isn't it?" "Can't say I didn't try." "One more thing -- you have a visitor request from Michael Westen." "I don't know how you got privileges so quickly, but if you want to sign this one," "he'll be on the list for Wednesday." "Hopefully you'll last that long." "When you've been marked for death, hiding is a short-term strategy." "It might buy you time, but it won't solve your problem." "To do that, you need contact." "It means exposing yourself to more potential threats, but it also means having the opportunity to find potential allies." "Well, if it isn't the newest resident of cell block 9." "You're Ayn?" "That I am." "I heard you can get things." "Wine, cigarettes." "Or if you're into something stronger," "I can make that happen, too." "It's why they call me Ayn -- "anything you need."" "Someone in here is trying to have me killed." "I need to find out who." "You want to know who's trying to kill you?" "Damn, girl." "You just skipped all over the small talk." "Whatever happened to, "where you from?" "What you in for?" "How many years you get?"" "Ireland, something I didn't do, God knows how long." "Can you help me?" "Info like that doesn't come cheap." "Name a price." "See, now, that's where you being new creates a problem." "Money around here's canteen credits." "You don't have any." "I'm sure there are other ways to make it worth your while." "There's always favor for a favor." "But I doubt you want to go there." "Try me." "Dude." "You've checked your watch three times in the last 30 seconds." "It's still...10:05, okay?" "Relax." "Pearce sounded a little off on the phone." "She specifically asked to meet here -- not the office -- which means something's wrong." "Or she knows you're about to visit Fi, and she's got news about Anson." "Maybe she found the son of a bitch." "Maybe Fi's about to be released." "Oh, I could be wrong." "Hey." "Thanks for meeting me." "What's going on?" "I, uh..." "I honestly don't know where to start." "Why don't you start from the beginning?" "I came back from lunch yesterday." "There was a message on my phone." "Agent Pearce, this is Anson Fullerton." "You've been making life awfully hard for me lately." "Now, I'm sure Michael's filled your head with lies, but I am not the monster he makes me out to be." "And to prove it..." "I'd like to offer you an olive branch." "I had a chance to read your personnel file, and I noticed you spent many years trying to find out what happened to Jay Toonberg." "I'd like to help." "What the hell's he talking about?" "Jay and Pearce were engaged." "Oh, I'm sorry." "This was waiting for me at home." "His name is Ahmed Damour." "Meet the man who murdered my fiancé." "Burn Notice 6x03 Last Rites Original Air Date on June 28, 2012" "== sync, corrected by elderman ==" "It's all right there." "Jay was working undercover, gathering intelligence on the Syrian military." "His cover got blown, and before they could pull him out," "Ahmed killed him." "And the best part -- now he's the CIA asset." "He's getting rich selling us the same intel he stole from Jay, and we're protecting him." "So this murderer's living the high life in Bermuda on the Agency's dime." "That is nice work if you can get it." "Talk to your boss about it yet?" "Oh, no, I can't." "I'm not even supposed to know that file exists." "They'd just order me to let it go." "But I can't do that." "Has it occurred to you that Anson knew Ahmed was protected when he dropped his name?" "He knows you're helping us get Fi out of prison." "He wants you to throw your career away." "I get it, Westen, but some things are more important than a career." "You're not the only person who ever lost somebody." "So, what?" "What?" "It's an eye for an eye now?" "Come on, Pearce." "That's not you." "It is when that's the only option." "Pearce, it's not the only option." "The Agency is only protecting Ahmed until they get their intelligence." "We take away those secrets, we take away his protection." "He goes down." "You don't." "We can help you do that." "I promise." "Hate to say it, Mike, but I think your mouth wrote a check that your butt can't cash." "I mean, you see the section here where the CIA says Ahmed is untouchable?" "I think that means, you know, "no touching."" "Maybe you missed this page." "The CIA doesn't care about Ahmed." "They care about the intel." "He's got all the files on a hard drive." "Once we find that drive, we turn it over to the CIA they'll wrap him up." "Yeah, no, I definitely saw that page, just like I saw this one here." "Agency sent a team into his Bermuda compound back in '08 looking for the hard drive." "They didn't find it." "I mean, what makes you think we can?" "Sam, if I don't help Pearce, she's gonna ruin her career." "Without her at the Agency," "I'll never get Fi out of prison." "Okay, well, wait." "It says here the guy's getting ready to take a cruise." "Maybe you isolate him on the boat -- make him think that he's sick." "If he doesn't think he's gonna make it..." "He's gonna start talking." "And the first person he'll call is his son, Sharif." "Son, Sharif." "Back in Bermuda." "It's perfect, Sam." "So perfect it's not gonna work." "We don't have the manpower." "You got to have three on the cruise, three on the land side, and if the CIA can't know about this, well, they're not gonna pitch in." "I can get you a team." "Ohh!" "Who " " Nate and your ma?" "Oh, wow." "You're not kidding, are you?" "Look, Mike, nothing against the Westen clan, but I'm gonna be real glad when we get Fi out of the clink." "Just pick a book, bitch." "You know you can't read." "Press on, honey." "Is there anything you can't get in here?" "If the price was right," "I could stage a Beatles reunion concert in the main yard." "All I need is a name." "Yes, you do." "And a pricey one at that." "I'm all ears." "Tomorrow at 2:15, I need that door locked tight, and I need it to stay that way for about two minutes." "You do me that favor, and I'll help you find out who's trying to kill you." "Doing it without getting caught would be almost impossible." "I can't risk going to segregation." "I thought that might be a deal breaker." "No hard feelings, honey." "I said "almost impossible."" "Get me these supplies, it's a deal." "That's a hell of a shopping list." "It's a hell of a favor." "Magnesium?" "Overnight?" "Honey, I'm good, but I'm not magic." "What about a sparkler?" "You know, this breaks one of my rules..." "But I might decide to like you, criminal." "So, when we're following this Sharif kid all over Bermuda, where you gonna be?" "I'm gonna be on a cruise with his dad, Ahmed." "Trust me -- it's not for pleasure." "Okay, you've got your cover I.D.s, tickets, traveler's checks." "You're on the 9:25 out of Miami." "Sam will go over the rest when you get there." "And is he going to tell us what this is really about?" "Ahmed has valuable information, and we need to get it back." "I heard that part." "If this was just about stolen secrets, you wouldn't need Nate and me." "Come on, Mom." "You know how this works." "The details are probably, like, classified or whatever." "Can't you just be happy helping out Mike?" "This isn't watering someone's plants while they're out of town!" "You're asking us to fly to another country with a fake I.D., dealing with spies at the drop of a hat!" "I want to know why!" "Is this about Fi?" "No, Mrs. Westen." "This is about me." "Ahmed didn't just steal information." "He killed my fiancé." "But the CIA doesn't know we're going after him." "If you don't feel comfortable coming along, I totally " "Honey, please, just stop." "I'll do it." "Effective interrogations take many forms but usually include three key elements." "First, you need a target with the intel you're after." "Then you need an interrogation team." "Their job is to secure the target and do whatever it takes to obtain actionable intelligence." "But getting useful information doesn't matter if you can't move on it." "Which is why you need a support team in the field." "Okay, Mike, you got the murderer." "We'll get the son of a murderer." "Hope you took your Dramamine." "Thanks, Sam." "We'll call you when we have something." "And, of course, the whole system breaks down if someone kills the target before he can talk." "Pearce, you should look like you're ready for a fun vacation, not trying to kill someone." "I just want that son of a bitch to suffer like Jay did." "Don't worry." "In about six hours, Ahmed will wish he was dead." "But the plan only works if you can hold it together." "This better?" "Yes." "Look, we need to run a stat blood series." "Stat blood series -- CBC, CMP P.T., and a PTT..." "Don't forget a bit and a PBJ, A.S.A.P." "Fiona usually would help me with this." "You're good, man." "You sound like an infectious-disease specialist." "You got it." "Hope you got that prazosin ready." "Ready to make a grown man cry." "Where's Ahmed?" "In the casino, playing craps... making sure all the ladies see his $50,000 Rolex." "It's disgusting." "Pearce." "I'm smiling." "See?" "We do have one little complication, though." "Ahmed's bodyguard is hovering around him like a helicopter mom." "The guy does everything for him, including getting his drinks." "So if we're gonna poison him there, we might need you to give us an extra distraction." "I would love to, but we can't risk Ahmed seeing me before he's in the infirmary." "Jesse can sell this." "Please." "I could do this by myself if I had to." "Go get your party dress on." "It's all how you shake them." "You got to let them know you love them, okay?" "All right." "How about a little kiss for luck?" "Whoa, whoa, whoa!" "You see what I did?" "!" "Then you let them know you love them." "I love you." "And if you love something, what do you do?" "You set it free!" "Boom!" "That is how you throw the bones, my friends!" "I hope you enjoyed my drink." "That's $100 a shot, you idiot." "My bad, man." "But you know what?" "There's still a little bit left." "Do you want to finish it?" "Next round's on me." "Okay, what is that -- Jack?" "Old crow?" "What you got?" "Johnnie Walker Blue on the rocks." "Ooh, excuse me, mister!" "Johnnie Walker Blue on the rocks." "Sexiness!" "Can we get a nice, fresh refill for my man?" "Johnnie Walker Blue on the rocks." "I'll get it." "Personal bodyguards are specifically trained to identify and prioritize potential threats..." "Johnnie Walker Blue." "...which means getting their attention is usually as easy as becoming the most immediate threat in the area." "You know what?" "Give me those." "My turn." "You got bad juju." "What the hell do you think you're doing?" "I'll tell you what I'm not doing " "I'm not trying to sit here and see how many times one man can roll snake eyes, okay?" "You had your turn." "Give them to me." "You know what?" "Fine, fine." "You want to burn down the house?" "Have at it." "I'm pulling the rip cord, baby." "Poof!" "How long till he drops?" "I don't know." "It depends on how fast he drinks his...drink." "Shouldn't be long." "The difference between a drug being called "medicine"" "or "poison" comes down to one thing -- dosage." "The recommended amount of prazosin will effectively regulate blood pressure." "But taking too much will trigger side effects that mimic the symptoms of an extreme viral infection." "Once they kick in, instead of doubling down, you'll be falling down." "That's a good look for him." "Oh, more pleasure reading, huh?" "Yeah, I love reading" ""the principles and practices of infectious disease control"" "in my spare time." "Well, you're gonna have to tear yourself away." "It's time to roll." "Yeah, we just checked out the infirmary -- whole lot of nervous people down there trying to figure out what's wrong with Ahmed." "Perfect." "Let's fill in the blanks." "I still wish there was a way you didn't actually have to take those." "You and me both, sister." "But the disease is supposed to be infectious, and I can't fake a fever, increased heart rate, and dilated pupils." "At least I only have to take it once." "Mike, can you water me, please?" "Jesse, I can't thank you enough." "Yeah, well, just try to keep me away from that long tunnel with the bright light at the end of it, will you?" "Where's the ship doctor?" "We need help here!" "I'm Dr. Winnick." "What happened?" "Dr. Winnick, I'm Dr. George Penderson, CDC." "My wife, Jeannie, and I heard passengers screaming for a doctor." "We found this man convulsing in the hallway." "His name is Jamaal Howard, age 36." "No medical alert, I.D.s, or cards." "They said he was complaining of blurry vision and dizziness." "He's got elevated temp and heart palpitations." "Get him set up in sick bay 2." "Get his vitals, and get him on O2." "What?" "We have a passenger who came in with the same symptoms." "How long ago exactly?" "About nine hours or so." "Why?" "What are you thinking?" "You've got a serious problem on your hands." "Something's going around, and it's not food poisoning." "Based on the symptoms, it's meningococcal." "Yeah, that's right." "Well, thank you for bringing him in, Dr. Penderson." "We can take it from here." "Can you?" "Have you ever implemented quarantine protocol?" "Well, no -- well, I have on three different continents." "And, trust me, you don't want to be on the hook for a full-scale outbreak." "You're lucky it's not airborne." "You still have a chance, but you're gonna need our help." "Wait a minute, Dr. Penderson." "This is my infirmary." "I call the shots." "I'm sorry." "I'm...not trying to big-dog anybody." "I'm CDC." "It's just what I do for a living." "Use me." "I'll treat the infected patients." "You just take care of the rest of the ship." "Yes, but the ship regulations require me." "It's your call." "You make the wrong one, people die." "Listen up, everybody." "This infirmary is now in quarantine." "Kim, I want you to set up a temporary exam room across the hall stat." "This area is now off-limits until Dr. Penderson says otherwise." "Come on!" "Let's go!" "Let's move!" "I need you to run a stat blood series, including a CMP, CBC, P.T., and a PTT." "That man you brought in." "You know him?" "I saw him at the casino last night." "He took my drink." "He drank from your glass?" "That must be how you infected him." "What?" "Mr. Damour, my name is Dr. Penderson." "I believe you've been infected by a highly contagious and very deadly strain of meningitis." "And it looks like you gave it to Mr. Howard." "W-what are you saying?" "First of all, it means you're under quarantine." "You -- you need to wait outside." "We'll test you and seclude you until we know you're clean." "Now, w-wait, wait." "Did you say "deadly"?" "Don't worry." "We'll do all that we can." "Now, I need a list of everyone you've been in close contact with in the last 48 hours." "My son, Sharif." "Doctor, we've got Mr. Howard stabilized." "Thank you." "This is my wife, Jeannie." "Don't worry." "We're going to take good care of you, Mr. Damour." "Now, I need you to call your son." "We'll have someone sent out to your home to test him." "Not my house." "I'll have him meet them." "It's better that way." "I don't think you understand what's at stake here." "I'm a very private man." "I can't have strangers coming into my house." "Mr. Damour, in situations like this, the most important thing is finding the origin of the infection." "If it's in your home, your son is in grave danger." "We're not trying to invade your privacy." "We just want to do what's best for you and your son." "Fine, fine, fine." "I'll tell Sharif." "Good." "They got a saying in here -- never turn your back on an open cell door." "Oh, look at you." "You got your own little early-detection system." "Six-pack, three cans of tuna, plaster, a nail file, and your damn sparkler." "You know how hard it is to get fireworks this time of year?" "I need one more thing." "The guards change shift every day at 2:15." "And I take my afternoon tea at 4:00." "What's your point?" "Why do you need me to clear them off the block at that time?" "I'm throwing a party, and I can't have a guard interrupting the fun." "If this is a hit, then I'm out." "You really think you're in a position to call the shots here?" "Or maybe you just don't care who's trying to kill you anymore." "That it?" "Oh, I care, but there is a line that I don't cross for anyone, Ayn." "That's why I'm here in the first place." "Oh." "And here I thought you were in here for murder." "Okay, criminal." "Can't promise everyone's gonna end up smiling, but nobody's gonna end up dead." "Convict's word." "You still in?" "Yeah." "One of the easiest and most efficient ways to make incendiary devices begins with mixing aluminum powder and plaster of paris." "Once dry, it burns at about 3,000 degrees and can melt solid steel in under a minute." "It's also completely stable and safe to store until it's lit, which is important because nobody should handle a deadly incendiary without a good night's sleep." "Hi, we're from W.H.O., here to see Sharif Damour." "One moment, please." "Okay, Maddy, remember, when we get in there, you got to keep this guy Sharif busy long enough for us to find the office and bug the phone." "Didn't you say this guy's some kind of a sociopath?" "Yeah, he does have a few assaults on his rap sheet, but, uh, he seems to prefer beating up waiters and call girls." "Mom, you're pretending to be a nurse." "I'm sure you'll be fine." "Okay, and we are transmitting." "Maddy, that's for you." "You want me to get him to wear this?" "!" "You said it was a watch!" "Why didn't you just ask me to tie a brick around his wrist?" "!" "Maddy, I'm sorry, but it's got to be big enough to hold a GPS, so it's either that or we convince him that pagers are back in style." "Let's do it." "You the outbreak people?" "Yes, sir." "Dr. Chuck Finley." "Where's your little astronaut suits?" "Uh, well, the virus isn't airborne." "Well, you sure scared the hell out of my father." "He made it sound like the guys from "E.T."" "were on their way." "Yeah, let's go." "Let's get this over with." "We'll move as fast as we can, Mr. Damour, but we need comprehensive sampling of this house, and you need to be examined immediately." "Shelly, he's all yours." "Yeah." "Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on, hold on, hold on." "He'll go with you -- make sure you don't get lost." "Don't worry." "We'll move as fast as we can." "I'm telling you this is a waste of time." "Do I look sick, huh?" "Come on." "I take care of mys" "Open your mouth." "You look fine now." "But changes happen quickly with meningitis." "Hiding trackers in accessories is a go-to trick for spies." "Jewelry and watches are attractive options, but there's always a risk they'll clash with the target's outfit and get left at home." "105 beats a minute." "Is that bad?" "I'm gonna have to ask you to wear a monitor..." "On the other hand, a tracker that the target believes might save his life is always in fashion." "...at all times." "What do you mean, "all time"?" "What if I go to a club?" "You wear it." "In the shower?" "At all times." "Well, that's ridiculous!" "If my heart speeds up, I'll feel it!" "Really?" "Most people don't feel their heartbeat until it hits, oh, around 130." "And by then, you will have swelling of the brain, subcutaneous hemorrhaging, and will be convulsing so hard you will not be able to dial a phone." "Fine, fine!" "Just...until the test results come back." "This room is clear." "Any positives?" "Nope." "Hey, this room's off-limits." "Oh, really?" "Well, I'm thinking that the virus didn't get that memo." "We have to check everything." "Excuse me, sir." "Gram staining is a method of testing for the presence of certain types of bacteria." "Positive results turn purple." "Negative results turn pink." "If you need a positive result on a gram test, there's no need to bring in a lethal microorganism." "A little yogurt will do the job." "And, of course, no matter what color a slide turns, nothing sells "scary" like a big reaction." "Oh, my God." "Look at that reading." "Have you been in this room recently?" "Why are you still standing there?" "!" "Get to the nurse!" "Go!" "Go!" "Wire it quick, Nate." "Yes, I will." "Look up." "Down." "Right." "Left." "Right again." "What is this, dance class?" "Enough of these tests." "These are necessary, Mr. Damour." "No." "I'm done." "Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa!" "What happened to our guests?" "They think I might be infected." "They said to come see Nurse Shelly." "And you left them where?" "In the office." "You left them in my father's office?" "Stupid!" "Stupid!" "Mr. Damour, we're not finished!" "No, this exam is over!" "Whoa, you can't go in there!" "No, you can't be in there!" "Sir, it's dangerous!" "Dangerous!" "Get out of my way!" "Get out of my way!" "What the hell are you doing taking apart that telephone, huh?" "!" "Come on." "I'll tell you what he's doing." "He's handling some highly infectious bacteria!" "That's what he's doing." "Got to take it apart to check it." "Exactly." "I mean, this thing is filled with bugs, and I'm talking nasty stuff." "Have you used this phone?" "Maybe a few times." "Okay." "What?" "Then I suggest you pray." "Pray." "Grab the gear, Chuck." "I'll meet you outside." "Oh, more jello!" "Delightful!" "Sorry." "You get what Ahmed gets." "How's it coming?" "Let's see." "Testing, testing." "I want real food." "One, two, three." "I want real food." "Broadcast quality." "And now that we've got a tracker on Sharif, you and Mike can give Ahmed one final push." "Yeah, you know, maybe it's..." "Best if Michael finishes this." "I'm not sure I can " "No, no, no." "Hey." "Don't start talking like that -- not now." "I am trying not to." "I really am." "But I feel like if I go in there one more time..." "I'll kill him..." "or break down completely." "Pearce." "I know this is a rough one." "You got to figure out a way to hold it together, okay?" "We're almost done." "You don't understand." "I don't?" "My mom was on the wrong end of a stickup." "They never found the guy that killed her." "First thing I think of every day is her." "The second thing is how I wish I can get the guy that did it." "You have that chance." "Dani, look at me." "You're gonna finish this." "If you don't, you'll regret it for the rest of your life." "Trust me." "I know." "Okay." "Okay." "You ready to bring this home, or what?" "Yes." "Good. 'Cause I'm sick of this damn jello." "Stop whining, Porter." "You sound like a little girl." "Have you heard anything about my son?" "Is he infected?" "We're still waiting to find out, but Sharif isn't showing any symptoms for now." "Mr. Damour, we just got the results on the samples from your house." "I don't know how to ask you this, but do you know of anyone who would want to hurt you intentionally?" "What are you saying?" "The strain of the virus they identified is... man-made." "Our techs found abnormally high concentrations on your phone, your car keys, your toothbrush." "Someone deliberately infected me?" "Who?" "We don't know, but, unfortunately, that is not the worst part of it." "There's no easy way to say this." "I'm afraid your condition has advanced beyond the point of us being able to help you, and... you're not going to make it." "You mean I might not." "There are miracles..." "sometimes." "But with something like this " "Get out." "Get out!" "I don't want to see you." "Please." "There must be something you can do." "Mr. Damour, I know this is tough to hear, but Dr. Penderson's right." "How much time?" "If there's anything you need to take care of, anyone you need to talk to now is the time." "That's impossible." "They said you were sick, not dying." "Can't they give you medicine?" "They found the virus all over my things." "Whoever it was..." "they were trying to kill me." "I don't understand." "Who would do this to you?" "Why?" "I don't know!" "No one knows." "It was probably the CIA." "They've always hated me." "It doesn't matter now." "I want to make sure that you're " "Wait, are you -- are you saying..." "Y-you're not coming home?" "Sharif!" "Answer me." "Do you remember what to do?" "Yes!" "I remember." "Good." "I want you to secure your future." "I want you to do it now." "I will." "Where are the files?" "They're at Habibi's place." "Fourth shelf of the remline chest." "How soon can you get there?" "I'll go first thing tomorrow." "Good." "And call me when it's done." "I will." "Hey, criminal." "Don't you have an errand to run?" "Shh." "Breaking my concentration." "Sabotage is best done in private, when no one is around to see it." "If you don't have that luxury, you have to take certain precautions." "It's crucial to conceal the real reason for your movements so that people don't get suspicious." "You know, I could use an extra blanket in my cell." "Requests have to be made on Monday to the unit manager, Glenanne." "Well, what am I gonna do till then, huh?" "Hello?" "Wait, are you telling me that I have to spend another week freezing my ass off in here?" "It's also a good idea to use time-delay devices so that when the fun starts, you'll be nowhere near it." "You still haven't moved." "Door's jammed." "I can't get it open." "Code 6!" "Code 6!" "Cell block 9!" "Officer needs assistance!" "All this for a robbery?" "Robbery?" "You think I need those scraps?" "This was business, honey." "My little friend over there got the notion she could open up shop on my block." "I had to let her know that market conditions weren't conducive to expansion." "Breaching." "All right!" "You know the drill!" "Everyone against the wall!" "Eyes forward!" "Hands down, God damn it!" "Hands at your sides!" "I said eyes forward!" "We got some action." "Doesn't look like junior's planning on coming back anytime soon." "Too bad the guy doesn't know his final destination." "You don't have to pack that heavy for Gitmo." "Hold your little horses." "We're not going anywhere." "Don't want to be up the guy's butt." "'Cause then what happens?" "He sees you." "'Cause then what happens?" "We lose our chance of getting that top-secret intel." "Now we can go." "Okay, they definitely pulled in." "Right there." "They're keeping their top-secret files in a boathouse?" "Yeah, it's not a bad plan -- put all your top-secret goodies in the same place as your go-fast boat." "Makes it easy to blow town." "And that's why we're gonna bust in on their ass and make sure that doesn't happen, right?" "Yes, Nate, but when you say things like that, try and say them like you understand how dangerous they are." "Let's do it." "A successful ambush can end a battle before it ever begins." "To pull one off, you need two key factors -- the element of surprise and superior positioning." "Okay, Nate, you follow my lead." "You don't make a move until you see the intel." "You got it?" "Yeah." "The best staging areas offer a clear view of your target while providing plenty of cover for you." "Not yet." "Of course, it doesn't matter how good your position is if you're the one who gets surprised." "What the hell's going on?" "Shh." "Just get down." "Sharif, it's a glorious day, no?" "I've had better." "What?" "Smile." "You're about to be a rich man." "Shall we toast?" "No time for drinks, Yevgeni." "As you wish, friend." "Go on." "First, we verify." "Then we pay." "Dude, who are these guys?" "Nate, I'm no expert, but it looks like" "Sharif is making a deal with some Russians." "Russians?" "Why would Russians want those files?" "Oh, these guys are working for themselves, not their country." "I mean, this is business." "Okay, what's our next move?" "We don't have one." "Come on." "Come on." "That was quick, Sam." "Yeah, Mike, this is not the victory call." "This is the, uh," ""you know what hitting the fan" call." "Sharif is making a deal with a crew of FSB rejects." "It's going on right now." "Russians?" "!" "Yeah, it's like a Cold War class reunion." "Can you put the brakes on it?" "It's five against two, and they're packing more heat than we are." "But, you know, sure, what the hell?" "We can try." "No, Sam." "Sit tight." "It's too dangerous." "So, they're gonna do what?" "Just sit there and let Sharif sail away with even more money?" "They make a move, they're dead." "Then we have to make a move." "We will, but not right now." "We have to hold off until" "No, we are not holding off." "We are ending this right now." "Pearce, what do you think you're doing?" "I have a play here, Westen." "Back me up, or stay out of the way." "I don't care, George!" "He deserves to know!" "Honey." "If you won't tell him, I will." "Tell me what?" "My husband got a call from the CDC." "They've traced the origin of your virus." "It -- it's classified information." "We've been ordered not to tell you." "Please." "Whatever it is, I'm dying." "I need to know." "My feelings exactly." "The virus you have is known as the St. Petersburg strain." "George?" "It's weaponized." "It was developed by the FSB -- Russian intelligence." "Russian?" "Are you sure of this?" "Positive." "The protein signatures leave no doubt." "Get out." "Please." "I need to make a call." "I have to take this." "Hello, papa?" "Did he say "papa"?" "I think they're making a play back on the boat." "I'm fine." "I'm at Habibi's." "We're doing the deal right now." "No, Sharif." "It was them!" "It was not the CIA." "It was the Russians!" "How do you know?" "The doctors traced the virus." "It was the FSB!" "Those dogs planned this whole thing out!" "They're killing me for the files." "You need to get out." "Now!" "Don't worry, papa." "I'll make sure tell them you said hello." "That was Ahmed?" "How is he?" "Doing quite well, considering." "He said to give you a message." "Okay, Nate." "Time for us to get in the game." "Be ready." "For what?" "!" "When I get close, shoot in the air." "Ohh!" "Unh!" "Huh?" "!" "Oh." "Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey." "Yevgeni, maybe you will see my father in hell, huh?" "Nate, I said, "shoot in the air."" "You didn't say, "up in the air."" "Yeah, Mike." "This is the victory call." "We got good guys up, bad guys down, and the files in hand." "It's been too long." "My son should have called by now." "It's a terrible feeling, isn't it?" "I used to talk to my fiancé twice a day." "Then one day, he didn't call." "That's how I knew something was wrong." "He was a scientist working in Paris." "The last time I spoke to him, he was filing a report about a Syrian satellite installation outside Masyaf." "You." "Yes." "Me." "I was just trying to scare him." "You shot him in the back." "It was a mistake." "No!" "It was a choice." "And for every choice, there's a price." "So the price is you killing me with this virus?" "No." "There's no virus." "We have the information you murdered Jay for." "We have your son." "And we have you." "I'm not killing you, Ahmed." "But believe me..." "your life is over." "I wish you'd relax, criminal." "Wears me out just looking at you." "Just tell me you got something." "Whoever it is tried to kill you is working with a dirty-ass guard." "Well, what's his name?" "Hold on, now." "Before I provide that information, you need " "Quit with the games." "You tell me his name now." "Easy now." "I'm trying to protect both of us here." "Can't have you broadcasting a guard's name over the visiting-room phone." "Okay?" "Just write down what you want your boyfriend to know." "I'll make sure it gets delivered." "Works better for both of us." "Sorry." "Yeah, well... place changes all of us sooner or later." "Looks like sooner for you." "Now you see why I never wear orange." "You look beautiful." "I'm gonna get you out." "I promise you that." "And we're -- we're getting close." "The CIA " "I love you, too, Michael." "We don't have much time." "I don't want to talk about that." "You know what I was thinking about the other day?" "That little dingy bar in Belfast -- the Black Sand Pub." "You mean where we met." "And I made the mistake of asking "Would you like to dance?"" "Then you pulled a snub-nose revolver on me." "That I did." "And you said..." ""I assume that means yes."" "Excuse me, sir, you dropped that." "No, I didn't." "Yes, you did." "Michael, someone is trying to have killed in here." "On the back of this note, you'll find the name and address of a guard who's working with them." "Do what you can." "Please hurry." "== sync, corrected by elderman =="

"HOOVER:" "Let me tell you something." "The SCLC has direct Communist ties." "Even great men can be corrupted, can't they?" "Communism is not a political party." "It is a disease." "It corrupts the soul, turning even the gentlest of men into vicious, evil tyrants." "What we are seeing is a pervasive contempt for law and order." "Crime rates are soaring." "There's widespread, open defiance of our authority and, mark my words, if this goes unchecked it will once again plunge our nation into the depths of anarchy." "It all starts out peacefully, doesn't it, Mr. Irwin?" "You have to live with the fact that you could've helped prevent the bombings and the violence." "I'm more interested in what this says about your fbi." "I have worked too long and hard to just sit back and watch the bad guys capture the spotlight again, haven't I?" "The funny thing about notoriety especially the kind that needs adoration, fame for fame's sake if unchecked, it inevitably leads to villainy." "I suggest you look at what this squabble is really about before you destroy the reputation of the thing we both know you love most." "[INTERCOM BUZZES]" "HELEN [OVER INTERCOM]:" "Sir, the writer's here from Crime Records the PR Department." "Set him up with a typewriter in my outer office." "Miss Gandy, it's time this generation learn my side of the story." "HELEN:" "Right away." " Thank you." "HOOVER:" "In 1919, Agent Smith my first boss here at the Department of Justice was Attorney General A. Mitchell Palmer." "He was a Quaker." "He didn't believe in war, but he understood the necessity of strength and resolve." "Believe what you will from historians most write from a present perspective, forgetting context." "Mitchell Palmer was a hero." "[BOTH SCREAMING]" "[ROBERTA YELLING]" "PALMER:" "Are you all right?" "ROBERTA:" "Unh." "PALMER:" "Are you all right?" "ROBERTA:" "Yes." "I think." "Yes." "[GIRL SCREAMS]" "[ROBERTA CRYING]" "[GIRL SCREAMING]" "PALMER:" "It's all right." "Come here." " It's all right, it's all right." "ROBERTA:" "No, it's okay." "Are you okay?" "It's okay." "Are you okay?" "[GRUNTS]" "[SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE]" "HOOVER:" "You see, Palmer fought the radicals, just as I have." "And just as I have, he was targeted." "He wasn't alone." "Across the country that night, eight bombs exploded, all at 11 p.m." "Two United States senators four cabinet members, a Supreme Court justice John D. Rockefeller, J.P. Morgan all of them targeted by Bolshevik Communists." "MAN:" "Yeah, it shook the whole thing." "[PEOPLE CHATTERING]" "HOOVER:" "It was clear to me the radical's bomb went off too soon leaving only his blood in the street." "But the inspectors used buckets to clean up the mess instead of collecting it." "They discarded his gun instead of preserving its prints." "But you see, this wasn't clumsy police work." "In those times, it was normal procedure." "This may be the end of days for this country, Dwight." "HOOVER: it was 1919, before anyone respected criminal science before federal powers, before the fbi." "It was that night my eyes were opened." "That very night." "Is he a neighbor, sir?" "No." "He works in my office." "HOOVER: "There will have to be murder." "We will kill because it is necessary." "We will destroy to rid the world of your tyrannical institutions."" "SMITH:" "You were at Attorney General Palmer's home that night?" "HOOVER:" "Well, let's leave that to the reader's imagination." "You see, it's important we give our protagonist a bit of mystery." "SMITH:" "I could allude to a young man who matches your description." "The best of both worlds." "Where did you get your law degree?" "George Washington." "I grew up here." "I had a mom to take care of, so I stayed close." "I received an English degree there also." "Then I don't need to tell you that what determines a man's legacy is often what isn't seen." "What's critical at this moment is that we re-clarify the difference between villain and hero." "How do you think that compares with today?" "I'm not sure, sir." "I'd like to hear more." "I could come back tomorrow." "Fine." "But the pages stay here." "Of course, sir." "Agent Smith." "Thank you, sir." "Never a good idea to talk too loud." "Good morning, John." "Mr. Palmer has asked that you attend the emergency meeting today." "Miss Gladwell, please remember it's Mr. Hoover." "Two o'clock." "Don't be too early this time." "It's as rude as being tardy." "And who is this lovely addition to the secretarial pool?" "Helen, introduce yourself." "Oh." "Pleased to meet you, Mr. Hoover." "I'm Helen Gandy." "Pleased to meet you." "Welcome to the Department of Justice." "You can notify Mr. Palmer that I will attend." "Of course." "GLADWELL:" "He's always a charmer." "I wouldn't take anything very seriously." "MAN:" "Jeremy, I need your help." "I need, uh..." "Uh, help." "I need your help." "Good evening, Mother." "Edgar." "Madame Marcia held court this morning." "Her premonition:" "I should buy a dress." "She says your father will die soon." "And when he does, you will rise to be the most powerful man in the country." "Your brother's a good man, Edgar but you will restore our family to greatness." "Edgar?" "Edgar?" "Am I boring you?" "I'm listening, Mother." "You fired the maid." "I told her when she was through, she could quit." "I'm not paying for her impudence." "The whole Negro race is in open revolt." " I could open an investigation." " Gotten too comfortable." "Did you hear what I said?" "I said I could open an investigation." "Say what you mean." "Mr. Palmer called me into a meeting today." "The war against the Bolsheviks has begun." "He's insisted that I lead a new anti-radical division." "Did you leap like a dog?" "I told him this is the greatest threat our nation has ever faced and I cannot take the job unless I feel certain I can be effective." "Well done." "But you'll take it." "Three thousand a year, Mother." "I've got to get new clothes." "You can't look like that anymore." "I have 40 names of suspected radicals already in only four hours." "I should have 10,000 by end of the month." "And I have my own staff, trusted agents." "Edgar, are you smoking?" " Doesn't come naturally, Mother." " Listen to the doctor." "With this new burden, your nerves could get the better of you." "You don't want to end up like your father." "Go and try one now." "You can put your father in his room." "I have to get ready for dinner." "Are you abandoning me tonight?" "It's with a typist." "She's very organized." "Is it a date?" "I think so." "I think so." "I'm gonna show her my old card catalog system at the Library of Congress." "Romance her." "Wear a blue tie." "You look so handsome in your blue tie." "Look at the ceiling." "It's incredible." "I've never been here before." "[HOOVER SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY THEN HELEN CHUCKLES]" "I helped organize it." "See, every item is assigned its own index card with its own unique code indicating the title, author, location, and topic." "What used to take days to locate now only takes a matter of minutes." "Go on." "Give me an author or a topic." "Anything." "Indiscretion." "What era?" "Present day." "Good." "Time me." "Hmm." "[CHUCKLES]" "Heh." "Almost there, heh." "How do you know I didn't mean political indiscretion?" "Well, if you'd like, I can start all over again." "This will do." "How long did I take?" "One minute, 10 seconds." "Now imagine if every citizen in this country were uniquely identifiable by their own card and number, say, the pattern on their fingers." "Imagine how quickly we could find them if they committed a crime." "It's all very impressive, John." "Well, would you like to stay here or would you like to go somewhere else?" "It's up to you." "[CHUCKLES]" "Mr. Hoover." "I'm not sure where you think this is headed." "Right, of course." "Miss Gandy." "I know we've only known each other a brief time but you would make the finest of companions." "Your strength, your character, your education." "Are you poking fun at me?" "No." "No, no, no." "No, no, of course not." "Then please, Mr. Hoover, stand up." "I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't share this with any of the other women in the typing pool." "No, of course not." "All right." "May I ask what..." "What..." "What particular flaw you seem to find in my character?" "No." "We just met." "Right, of course." "But I believe that I am a fast and accurate judge of character." "We've gone out three times, but I don't need more." "Most people do, but I don't." "I see people right off for what they are." "And please, call me Edgar." "It's what my mother uses." " Edgar?" " Yes?" "Can you keep a secret?" "Yes." "Of course." "You have my word." "I'm not interested in getting married." "My work comes first." "Hmm." "Then perhaps you would consider a position as my personal secretary." "[LAUGHS]" "Yes." "Shall we?" "The book." "Right." "After you." "HOOVER:" "I helped organize that library just as I did this Bureau." "And many said we didn't need either." "You see, innovators aren't often celebrated." "Not at first." "[HELEN CHUCKLING]" "[INTERCOM BUZZES]" "Miss Gandy." "The nitwit Kennedy child rang his baby buzzer again." "Perhaps he'd like a fresh diaper." "Should I find out what the Attorney General needs?" "No, I want the completed transcripts of the Los Angeles recordings." "When I receive those, then we'll answer his buzzer." "Very good." "Edgar, Agent Smith is back." "He, uh, has some questions about the Palmer Raids." "Should I tell him to go?" "Helen, do you like him?" "I don't have an opinion of him yet." "Hmm." "Well, I like him." "I trust him." " I'll set him up in your outer office." " No." "No, no, no." "Bring him a desk in here." "HOOVER:" "But in 1920, how could I protect us from anyone?" "Before I moved to this office, we were powerless." "We had few federal laws, no right to carry firearms and Congress liked it that way." "Criminals ran free, but there was no law against keeping track of them so I made a decision on my own." "I compiled note cards and over five thousand names and called the one department in Washington that still held a small piece of untested power." "Was that the Department of Labor?" "The power to deport, sir?" "But only to deport those who checked two boxes." "They had to be foreign citizens and they had to be working to harm our country." "And they cooperated with you?" "Of course not." "No one freely shares power in Washington, D.C., Agent Smith." "PALMER:" "There is no law under which you can issue a warrant for the arrest of an alien when I have certified that he is subject to deportation?" "Without any evidence, Mr. Attorney General, no." " There exists a due process of law." " Due process of law?" " What about the threat?" " There might be a threat..." "Might be?" "Fine." "There is a threat to our country." "But with no proof of a crime, there's no cause for deportation." "We'll see about that." "You'll be hearing from me." "HOOVER:" "But one of their heads was a Mr. Caminetti." "He was weary of our Justice Department, but he hated one person even more." "I am a revolutionist by nature and as such I claim the right to rebel and resist invasion by all means, force included." "HOOVER:" "Emma Goldman." "She was the hero of the radical movement." "If I could hand Caminetti Emma Goldman, he would deport her without a thought." "But she was a citizen." "Would you like to stop, sir?" "No." "I know it's hard for you to imagine today, but there was a time when the average American feared for their safety and survival, Agent Smith." "HOOVER:" "In Chicago, a coal strike started by communist labor shut off all the power." "Riots followed." "And on Armistice Day in Centralia, Washington veterans fresh back from the war were murdered by radicals." "[GRUNTS]" "HOOVER:" "The red revolution had arrived on our soil." "[GUNSHOTS AND PEOPLE YELLING]" "No, no." "We can't take them down one by one." "They'll go underground and we'll have a bomb inside every senator's mailbox." "We need to have a simultaneous raid, hitting all of them at once." " Who are "they"?" " You're here to find out." "Now listen, I want a card on every radical person in this country." "Against the wall, gentlemen." "I wanna know who, where they're from, what group, what they say." "Who have already committed crimes?" "I care more whether they intend to." "Against the wall, gentlemen, thank you." " How many are on our team?" " Only you four for now." "I'll have locks installed." "No, Miss Gandy." "That would bring too much attention." "Nothing is to be alphabetically ordered." "I want the cards to be broken down into subjects and categories." "Now, this system should be easy enough if explained." "If not, finding information should prove impossible." "And trust no one, not even our fellow agents." "Half our colleagues are on both sides of the payroll." "But the crimes we're investigating aren't crimes, they're ideas." "Well, if your idea..." "Against the wall, gentlemen." "Thank you." "If your idea is to come into our country and plot the overthrow of our government then, yes, indeed, that is a crime." "Mrs. Goldman married a U.S. citizen." "The man she married hasn't visited her once in prison, yet this man the man she's lived with since her wedding, he visits nightly." "What happens when we raid this list of yours and find nothing?" "No guns, no bombs, just innocent people deported." "From every corner of this nation, the American people have urged the Attorney General to do something about this and return the United States back to peace." "Now, I'm happy to send your objections to Mr. Palmer himself but, in the meantime, expose Miss Goldman's sham marriage and you will change that suit of yours." " Pardon me, John?" " Your suit, sir, your suit." "This isn't a saloon." "Have respect for yourself, but, more importantly have respect for this department." "Miss Gandy?" "MAN:" "Miss Goldman, are you an anarchist?" "I decline to answer." "MAN:" "Do you deny that you are an anarchist?" "I decline to answer." "Do you believe in the overthrow of the government of the United States?" "I refuse to answer." "Do you advocate the assassination of public officials?" "I refuse to answer." "This alien has refused to answer questions pertaining to the charges in the warrant notwithstanding the fact that every opportunity was afforded her." "I recommend deportation." "[CROWD GASPS]" "HOOVER:" "And just like that, we had our precedent." "Edgar, should I arrange our travel to Paterson on Valentine's Day?" "Yes, of course, Miss Gandy." "HOOVER:" "I took the train to Paterson, New Jersey, on February 14th." "If I could catch these radicals red-handed then the Labor Department would have to put them all on boats back home." "So agents of the Bureau, alongside local police began raiding gathering places of known communist radicals all across this country." "These people are armed and violent." "They're prepared to kill to avoid capture." "HOOVER:" "Take one." "Go on." " Are we allowed to use these, sir?" " These are gifts." "There is no law that prevents us from using our own weapons." "Gentlemen, grab your guns." "Gentlemen, quickly." "Let's move." "OFFICER:" "Police!" "This is a raid!" "[INDISTINCT CHATTERING]" "OFFICER:" "He's going for the window, stop him!" "[ALL GRUNTING]" "That's enough!" "HOOVER:" "The leaflets matched exactly." "We'd solved the bombings." "And, in the end, we arrested nearly 4000 communist radicals and deported over 500 of them." "It was accomplished against great odds and at great personal peril." "They found the counterfeiting press, five pistols, two automatics." "And in Trenton, they found gunpowder, copper, brass wire, and batteries." " A bomb factory." " Yes." "One hundred and twenty arrests in Detroit, 41 in Philadelphia, and 17 here so far." "SMITH:" "But everyone in the Bureau involved lost theirjob, correct?" "Even Palmer himself?" "HOOVER:" "Some did, and there's the lesson." "You see, the bombs stopped, and peace came." "The American people had forgotten there ever was a threat." "So when political adversaries attacked Palmer for trying to protect this nation from communism our countrymen allowed it to happen." "Because like today, they've forgotten the bombs, the blood, the fear." "SMITH:" "But why Palmer and not you, if you orchestrated the raids?" "I was 24 years old, Agent Smith." "I was just following orders." "I understand, sir." "And if we hadn't, you may very well have been born into a communist state rather than the country you love today." " Am I right?" " Of course, sir." "Hmm." "TOLSON:" "Edgar?" "Ignore him." "TOLSON:" "Edgar?" "I am in a meeting, Mr. Tolson." "I'll be out in a moment." "Don't forget about your appointment with the Attorney General, Edgar." "Files are not yet completed, Mr. Tolson." "Please go away." "Thank you." "Thank you, sir." "I apologize." "I'll finish this chapter tonight." "Very well, Agent Smith." "In the Academy, do they tell the story of how I got here?" "Yes, sir." "Uh, you were called into the new Attorney General's office..." " Harlan Fiske Stone." " Yes, sir, Attorney General Stone." "He called you into his office and told you to sit down, sir." "Sir, there are over a dozen vacancies in Chicago." "And with the robbery rates rising, it would profit the Bureau to start filling vacancies and make recoveries." "I have files on potential suspects, and with a congressional hearing..." "Lower the treble, son." "You didn't call this meeting, I did." "Sit down." "Yes, sir." "Everyone you've worked with here is gone." "And there's a reason for that." "This Bureau is of exceedingly bad odor." "Would you agree?" "Yes, sir." "And, no offense, you seem to have no social life." "No wife, no girlfriend." "As far as I can tell, no pals at all." "That is accurate, sir." "And you're shamelessly distracted by this hodgepodge fingerprinting affair." "Sir, it wouldn't be hodgepodge if we could centralize the prints here, I assure you." "It's a speculative science at best." "Yes, sir." "And why do they call you Speed?" "Who calls me that?" "They all do, behind your back, evidently." "[STAMMERS]" "I gained a reputation for delivering groceries when I was 10 years old." "I was the fastest in the neighborhood." "It was just a nickname." "You sure it's not for the way you talk?" "Perhaps, sir." "Young man, I want you to be acting director of the Bureau of investigation." "I will take the job, Mr. Stone, but only on certain conditions." "What are they?" "The Bureau must be divorced from politics and not be a catchall for political hacks." "Recruits must be college-educated." "Appointments must be based on merit." "Promotions will be made on proven ability." "And, well, the Bureau will be responsible only to you, sir the Attorney General." "I wouldn't give you the job under any other conditions." "That's all." "Good day." "Well, thank you, sir." "I am determined to summarily dismiss from this Bureau any employee whom I find indulging in the use of intoxicants." "It is my belief that when a man becomes a part of this Bureau he must so conduct himself, both officially and unofficially as to eliminate even the slightest possibility of criticism as to his conduct." " And what is your name, sir?" " Agent Williams, sir." " Pleasure to meet you, Agent Williams." " You too, sir." "And your name?" "Agent Caffrey, sir." " Your assignment?" " I'm headed to Kansas City to aid in the search for bank robber Frank Nash, sir." "Mm, that is dangerous work, and when you return you will be rewarded for your service." "You still fancy facial hair, Agent Stokes?" " The ladies appreciate it." " Hmm." "And I suppose the ladies' opinions are more important than the Bureau's?" "No." "Sir." "Perhaps you are better suited for the police force than the Bureau of investigations." "I've been with the Department and the Bureau for seven years." "Almost as long as you." "No." "You were with the old Bureau seven years, and that Bureau is now gone, sir." "And so are you." "HOOVER:" "I quickly dismissed all agents that did not fit my standards:" "Education, physical fitness but, above all, loyalty." "I've had two made." "Same cut, different pattern." "And two suits for you." "They'll be delivered on Friday." "Thank you, Mother." "It's platinum six diamonds and a star sapphire." " Heh." " It's absolutely beautiful, Mother." "Thank you." "I've told the whole neighborhood about you." "They all know." "No, I shouldn't, I've been gaining weight, Mother." "It's solid weight." "There's nothing wrong with solid weight on a man." "[HOOVER SIGHS THEN CLEARS THROAT]" " All right." " I'm so incredibly proud of you, Edgar." "[ALL CHUCKLE]" "[GASPS]" "I'm starting an album for you." "I'm gonna put everything in it." "This is just the beginning." ""Johnny Hoover appointed acting director of the Bureau of investigations."" "Can you read that?" "[CHUCKLES]" "You proud of your uncle?" "[GIRL HOOVER CHUCKLE]" "[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]" "MAN:" "Gentlemen." "I want to introduce you." "Come with me." "Edgar, good to see you." "HOOVER:" "Good to see you, Lawrence." "I'd like to introduce you to Mr. Clyde Tolson." "Graduated from George Washington University tonight with a law degree." "HOOVER:" "Hmm." "Congratulations, Mr. Tolson." "Thank you, Mr. Hoover." "I believe you are one of our most distinguished alumni." "I did, yes." "L, uh, do have a degree from the school, yes." "I was admiring your suit, Mr. Tolson." "You should take a lesson, Lawrence." "Thank you, sir." "It's a custom cut, from Garfinkel's department store." "Ah." "Do you have a card, Mr. Tolson?" "I do, yes, of course." "Here you go." "Good to see you, Lawrence." "Thank you, sir." ""Well-educated, highly recommended, willing to guarantee five years service." "Has a family in New York and a new baby."" "No interview." "The family in New York or the baby?" "Miss Gandy, five years is not enough." "We need men willing to dedicate their lives." "How many is that so far?" " That's 320 denied and 21 interviews." " Hmm." "Did we receive an application from a Mr. Tolson?" "Yes." "Yes, his report states he has confidence, poise his diction is excellent." "But although physically fitted for it, might be displeased with rugged work." "His only interest is to gain experience that would benefit a private law practice." "And he has no interest in being here for any period of time which would render employment speculative." "Hmm." "He did receive a letter of recommendation from the executive assistant of the Secretary of War." "That's fantastic, Miss Gandy." "Yes." "It mentions here that Mr. Tolson showed no particular interest in women." "Then again, some of our best agents excel because they have no family encumbrance." "Yes, you're right." "Set up an interview." "You know what the problem is, Miss Gandy?" "These men, they don't..." "They don't look up to me." "Of course they do." "I don't mean figuratively." "I mean they don't look up to me." "Well, if you could conduct the entire interview from behind your desk instead of walking about the office, I could correct that." "Indeed." "Miss Gandy, suppose I had information on someone in a position of power harmful information." "It goes against my nature to destroy such information but I don't trust it in the general files either." "Could I trust it with you?" "If we were to create a confidential file?" "Of course, Edgar." "Thank you, Miss Gandy." "HOOVER:" "Information is power." "It protected us from the communists in 1919 and since has been vigilantly collected, organized, and maintained by our fbi." "[PHONE RINGS]" "WOMAN:" "Attorney General Kennedy's Office." "Did you always have this fireplace or did you have it put in?" "KENNEDY:" "It was put in." "What were you doing with wiretaps in that house?" "You asked that I pursue this organized crime element, Mr. Kennedy and I did so, sir, with diligence." " Do you use the fireplace?" " Rarely." "Who else has heard the recording?" "I have filed the matter personal and confidential." "I'm the only person with access to it." "Mr. Hoover, I asked you to pursue a real threat." "Instead, you've publicly denied the existence of organized crime and now this gross display of intimidation." "Mr. Attorney General, I was only following orders." "We bugged the basement of a home in Los Angeles that was a known gathering place for lawbreakers." "How was I to know that an East German communist would be down there having sex with your brother, the President of the United States?" "Do not shoot the messenger, sir." "I am here to protect you both." "Remember that." "What do you want from me?" "If this information were to go public it would create widespread distrust in your brother's leadership capabilities." "And above all else, I hold the well-being of our country paramount." "So how may I help you, Mr. Hoover?" "Well, if I am to pursue the elements that you consider a threat I humbly request that you allow me the same power and access to follow the groups that I see as an immediate threat." "It's not 1920 anymore." "You know who Stanley Levinson is, sir?" "A lawyer." "A white, communist lawyer organizing at the highest levels including the SCLC." "Now, their group is growing." "They are entirely self-serving and their leadership is openly critical of this department here." "Did you read the memos that I sent?" "No, no, I can't say that I have." "It says right here, Mr. Kennedy." "They claim we are "unable to get convictions in even the worst, most heinous crimes..."" "...and that we have "faltered under the pressure, complexities and responsibilities of our office," in print." " Right here in "The Washington Post."" " You can't bear a little criticism?" "Well, it depends on what their aim is." "They are gaining considerable power." "Their priorities are singularly focused on their own issues." "They are trying to incite revolt." "Frankly, they sound more critical of your office than mine." "There's a new face to communism, Edgar, and this isn't it." "Communism is a foreign threat now, not domestic." "Mr. Kennedy, before you were even born I heard that very same argument from a Mr. Mitchell Palmer." "Do you know what it took to change his mind?" "A bomb." "If he would have sat in his rocking chair five more minutes in 1919 we'd have been lucky enough to find an intact index finger." "Now, I do not want that to happen to you or your brother, sir." "There's no reason we both can't get what we want." "We can wage a war on two fronts, sir." "You understand?" "You can go now, Mr. Hoover." "Yes, sir." "Please leave the transcripts here with me." "Yes, sir." "Oh, and feel free and share them with your brother." "Oh, and let him know that I have a copy of my own in safekeeping." "[DOOR CLOSES]" "[KNOCKING ON DOOR]" " Unh." " Your 4:00 is here, sir." "Thank you, Miss Gandy." "Send him right in, thank you." "Please, have a seat, Mr. Tolson." " Mr. Hoover, thank you for this opportunity." " Yes." "Please." " Have a seat." " Thank you, sir." "There were several problems with your application, Mr. Tolson not the least of which is the fact that you did not show the proper requirement to the Bureau..." "[STAMMERING] ...nor the proper dedication to protecting the American people and the American way." "May I remind you that this is not a platform to a fatter paycheck in private practice, Mr. Tolson?" "Is there something the matter, Mr. Tolson?" "No, sir." "Ls exercise a requirement for all agents, sir?" "Yes." "All our agents need to be in top physical condition." "We must outsmart and outmatch the public enemy at every turn." "Yes, of course." "So, uh, what routine do you do, sir?" "Push-ups, sit-ups, and squatting." "I see." "Would you like me to fix the curtain?" "Or perhaps I could open a window." "I always prefer a little bit of air after exercise." "Don't you?" "If it would please you." "And, sir, where I may fall short in terms of résumé I apparently far exceed the rest in terms of honesty." "I didn't lie to get this appointment, sir." "Like the rest, yes, I would like to start a practice but I could be persuaded otherwise if the right opportunities were to arise." "Hmm." "Fair enough, Mr. Tolson." "Fair enough." "These sleeves seem to be the correct length." "I found you two tie options." "This one is a bit more fashion-forward but it would complement this suit and cut and fabric." "It's too loud, don't you think?" "Too loud?" "Okay, which is why I found this one, the backup." " It's a bit more directorial, a little bit more..." " It's a little bit more reserved, I agree." "Let's keep this as a second option, please." "Thank you, Clyde." "Are you Mr. John Hoover?" "I am." "Is there a problem?" "It seems there's a Mr. John Hoover whose credit has gone bad with us." "That would appear to be you." "That is not me, sir, on my word." "My mother calls me Edgar, my niece calls me J.E., and I sign John E., not John." "Well, sir, if you're a friend of Mr. Tolson's just choose one name and reapply." "All right." "Thank you very much." "Morning, Miss Gandy." "What?" "You don't like it?" "Mr. Hoover, there's been a massacre in Kansas City." "One of our own?" "Special Agent Caffrey?" "MAN:" "Let him have it!" "HOOVER:" "By 1930, the communist threat had been beaten back but the Depression had hit and there was a new threat." "The bank robber, the car thief, and the kidnapper." "But, unfortunately, as with communism, America didn't react with scorn." "They gave the American gangster admiration." "HOOVER:" "And the defiance by desperate, armed criminals of the forces of society and civilization can no longer be ignored." "Bugs Moran and Al Capone top the list of public enemies." "Look around you." "They could be anywhere." "May I remind you that the Bureau of Investigation seeks to be your protector." "It belongs to you." "It is as close to you as your nearest telephone." "[CROWD BOOING]" "And with your help..." "ANNOUNCER:" "Warner Bros. Presents a Vitaphone production of:" ""The Public Enemy."" "James Cagney plays public enemy number one." " Why, you." " Aah!" "TOM:" "There you go with that wishing stuff again." "Maybe you found someone you like better." "ANNOUNCER:" "Coming soon to your neighborhood theater." "MAN:" "Fantastic." "That summer, a single crime opened the door to set things right." "Do you know what that was, Mr. Jones?" "Sorry, sir, what was that?" "Who is the most famous man of the 20th Century thus far?" "Joe McCarthy, sir?" "Mr. McCarthy was an opportunist not a patriot, Mr. Jones." "Who is the most famous man of the 20th Century thus far?" "The most famous?" "Ls that you, sir?" "[COUGHS THEN CLEARS THROAT]" "Well, I suppose his notoriety depends on the field that he is in." "His field was in the clouds." "Well, then Charles Lindbergh, sir." "[CHUCKLES]" "[PHONE RINGING]" "Yes?" "MAN [OVER PHONE]:" "Charles Lindbergh's baby has been kidnapped from his home." "Send officers from Trenton." "I'll be on the first train." "What is it?" "Charles Lindbergh..." "Lindbergh's baby's been kidnapped." "You've got to find him." "He has to be brought home alive." "Yes, Mother." "Yes, Mother, I know." "HOOVER:" "When we arrived at Mr. Lindbergh's home that morning in 1932 we began an investigation that would forever change our Bureau." "This morning we've heard from the Pennsylvania Railroad, Will Rogers President Hoover, Governor Roosevelt, Customs the U.S. Mail, and the Boy Scouts." "HOOVER:" "All of you." "Get off of that dirt." "You're trampling evidence." "Immediately!" "Get off!" "There's nothing there." "We checked." "No defined footprints." "It appears he was wearing fabric on his shoes." "You don't think the size could've held some value?" "How did he get up there?" "Are there marks on the window and wall as well?" "A ladder." "We found it 100 yards away." "We moved it inside." "You moved it?" "Yes, for safekeeping." "Congratulations, Mr. Schwarzkopf." "You have contaminated the crime scene." "Now, get your boots off this property." "And what right do you have to be here, Mister, uh...?" "J. Edgar Hoover, director of the Bureau of investigation." "We've been sent by President Hoover to ensure the investigation..." "The president has authorized access to all documents and evidence." "Mr. Hoover, you're free to observe, but New Jersey's not the president's domain." "And where is Mr. Lindbergh?" "I'd like to hear his opinion on the matter." " Mr. Lindbergh's around back." " After you, sir." "He's been up all night." "HOOVER:" "Mr. Lindbergh himself came down to meet me." "He shook my hand and expressed his gratitude and faith in our young Bureau." "He fell five feet." "Who did?" "The kidnapper, with the child in his arms." "That's speculation, Mr. Hoover." "Mr. Lindbergh, sir, if the ladder had split while the person was on their way up it would have collapsed." "You see, it was a miscalculation." "It was meant to bear the weight of a man, but not the weight of a man and child." "We have other theories." "Where's the ransom note?" "Of course." "And you are touching that with your bare hands as well?" "We checked." "There are none of those finger imprints that you fancy so valuable." "Please hand it over, Mr. Schwarzkopf." "SCHWARZKOPF:" "That's Colonel Schwarzkopf." ""Have 50,000 dollars ready," spelled R-E-D-Y." ""We will inform you where," spelled W-E-R-E, "to deliver the money" spelled M-O-N-Y." ""We warn you for making anything public or for notify the police." "Indication for all letters are signature," S-I-N-G, "singnature."" "Three holes." "I want this letter and the ladder." "No jurisdiction." "I've showed what you asked for." " It's time for you to go." " Mr. Lindbergh, please..." "Mr. Hoover, thank you." "As you can see, we have everything under control." "Thank you, gentlemen." "Thank you for your time, Mr. Lindbergh." "Clyde." "Clyde, I'm afraid for his boy." "He trusts the local police more than us." "He thinks we're all fools." "He'll go around them too." "He's going to bargain with the kidnappers." "President Hoover called me the morning the child was taken and asked me to do whatever was in my power to solve this crime." "But do you know what all the power of the Bureau means without federal laws, without arms, without the ability to make arrests?" "It means nothing." "Mr. Chairman, I urge passage of the Lindbergh Law making kidnapping a federal offense." "To immediately deliver all the fingerprints in this country to my office so that we may create a central file." "To help arm our agents so that they have a fighting chance against the submachine guns of some of the most dangerous characters in the history of American criminality." "And I urge you to do this in the name of Little Lindy." "Because if he can be taken, then what child is safe?" "And if we cannot aid in his safe return, then what use are we?" "[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]" "HOOVER:" "Every fingerprint from the local authorities across the country began flowing in." "Finally, we had a centralized system." "What is it, Edgar?" "The last of the fingerprints came in from Chicago." "You know our new president has scheduled a meeting with me, Miss Gandy?" "Do you know that there are talks of reorganizing the Bureau?" "Yes, I've heard similar whispers." "Hmm." "Have you?" "Miss Gandy, do you remember that file we created on his wife?" "Mrs. Roosevelt?" "Yes." "Will you make a copy for me, please?" "Yes, of course." "Thank you, Miss Gandy." "[CROWD CHEERING IN DISTANCE]" "Lindbergh hired criminals to find his son." "Off the desk now, Agent Garrison, follow me." "Yes, sir." "He even got an offer from Al Capone to help pay the ransom money but, in the end, he employed an eccentric by the name of John Condon who placed a newspaper ad to act as a go-between with the kidnappers." "Now, was Condon a criminal too?" "He most certainly wasn't an agent of the law, Mr. Garrison." "Why are you doing this?" "So a mother may have her baby again." "And you may know that the American people are grateful for the honor bestowed upon them by your pluck and daring." "And how do we know the kidnapper is the same that wrote the letters that you have?" "The symbol, uh, matches the original letter's symbol, doesn't it?" "What is it, Mr. Lindbergh?" "In a moment of thoughtlessness I showed the symbol to some other men and I'm not sure that they were trustworthy." "I'm not sure anyone is trustworthy." "I will be having your letters analyzed to make sure that they are from the same author." "HOOVER:" "And while Mr. Lindbergh placed his faith in hoodlums we began cultivating the one thing criminals couldn't fight with all the guns in the world." "Gentlemen, please leave this room." "Clear all these tables." "Time to go, now." "Where can we smoke, sir?" "Not my concern." "Out of my sight." " Mr. Osborne, tell us what you need." " Uh, bright lights, a microscope measuring instruments, magnifying glasses." "A, uh, projector." "You have the full resources of the Bureau." "Don't be shy." "Paper samples from every regional manufacturer." "Mr. Osborne, this is Mr. Tolson." "Supply Mr. Osborne whatever he needs to conclude without a doubt that these letters came from the same author." "Hmm?" "Gentlemen, please." "Thank you." " Should we tell the attorney general?" " So he can say no a third time?" " Just post a sign, like this one." " What would you like it to say, "keep out"?" ""The Bureau of investigations Technical Laboratory."" "Have it carved and nailed to the wall." "If he wants it gone, he'll have to tear it out." "It's time we at least have one thing the bad guys don't." "Decorating skills?" "Science, Clyde." "Science." "Uh, the ink is different, but the handwriting is a match." "Whoever Mr. Condon is corresponding with is the person who wrote the original note." "Or Condon wrote all the notes himself." "Lindbergh is planning on using Condon to deliver the ransom." " May have already happened." " Call the internal Revenue Service." "Get them to Lindbergh's home." "I insist that all those bills be marked." "Yes, sir." "Ls that all, Mr. Hoover?" "I have a 2:30 p.m. class to teach." "No, you don't." "Consider your pay doubled." "You work for your country now, Mr. Osborne." "Congratulations." "MAN:" "Doctor!" "MAN:" "Have you gotted the money?" "CONDON:" "I can't bring the money till I see the baby." "I promise you there's no police." "MAN:" "It's too dangerous." "[PANTING]" "Stop!" "Stop this now!" "No one's gonna harm you." "If they catch me, they will." "No, they only want the child." "They'll give me 30 years if I'm caught." "They could burn me." "No." "No." "MAN:" "I didn't do it." "I'm only the messenger." "Eh!" "MAN:" "What if the baby is dead?" "Would I burn if the baby is dead?" "Why would we be meeting if the baby was dead?" "Place another ad in the paper when you have the money." "HOOVER:" "So if a ransom had to be paid, we needed those bills traced." "We brought in the irs, and, for his own good, we had to force his hand." "I thought gold notes were going out of circulation, Mr. lrey." "That's our hope." "It'll make these bills more identifiable." "I have no need for the money." "I just want my son." "This isn't just about your son, Mr. Lindbergh." "If these kidnappers go free, then no child in this country will be safe." "That's why I've assembled a 26-man team, headed by Special Agent Sisk here." "And if they find out you're involved, I may never see my son again." "Mr. Lindbergh, sir, we will not pursue a single lead until your child is safe in his mother's arms." "You have my word, sir." "[DOOR OPENS]" "[DOOR CLOSES]" "ANNOUNCER:" "The kidnapping of Charles A. Lindbergh, Jr., was a tragedy not only to Colonel and Mrs. Lindbergh, but to the nation." "His abduction from his Hopewell home was a challenge to America." "This ladder, the only clue to the kidnapping, was homemade." "Let the developments in the Lindbergh case start a new drive to wipe out the stain, not only of that wanton kidnapping but of all kidnapping and crimes." "MAN:" "Hey, doctor!" "Give your word not to open for six hours." "Thank you." "I talked him out of 20,000 dollars." "I'd prefer him happy than save the money." "I don't want to upset him." "Where is the baby?" "I promised not to open this for six hours." "You gave your word, I did not." ""The boy is on boat Nelly." "It is a small boat, 28 feet long." "Two persons are on the boat." "They are innocent." "You'll find the boat between Horseneck's Beach and Gay Head near Elizabeth island."" "That's Nantucket, right?" "GARRISON:" "What was in the boat?" "HOOVER:" "There was no boat." "Lindbergh didn't trust us." "He wanted to do things his way." "And who can blame him?" "No one respected us at that time." "Mr. Hoover, we've been calling." "TOLSON:" "Edgar." "Time to go, Agent Garrison." "Right now." "The Attorney General has authorized your wiretaps." "Very good, Miss Gandy." "Edgar, are you sure about this?" "Once you do this, Edgar, it's done." "When I prove myself correct, we will have saved this country another revolution." "History will remember that, Clyde." "But if you are wrong history will remember it as an illegal move over a petty grudge." "Do you consider our reputation petty, Mr. Tolson?" " No, I..." " Then order the wires." " Can we discuss this over dinner?" " After you've ordered the wires." "Yes, sir." "[PHONE RINGS]" "The director's on his way." "[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]" "TOLSON:" "Ahem." "MAN:" "After you." "OFFICER:" "Wait, please." "DRIVER:" "Harvey's Restaurant, sir?" " No, to the White House." "[ENGINE STARTS]" "HOOVER:" "We were in the midst of a Great Depression and breaths away from history's worst war." "We needed more power to protect, but, as with every new president this Bureau's future and my very job was being drawn into question." " The president is ready to see you now." " Alrighty." "[KNOCKING ON DOOR]" "ROOSEVELT:" "Come in." "Have a seat, Mr. Hoover." "It's the same dance each time." "They make me wait." "They imagine I'm sweating, that they're gonna show me who's boss, I play along." "Thank you." "And then did you show him the transcript?" "No." "He didn't want to read it." "That was unique." "He wanted me to tell him about it." "What, how you came across it?" "No, I explained to him up front we never expected to find Mrs. Roosevelt in the bedroom of a known communist agitator much less having what sounded like an intimate moment." "That I needed his advice on how to proceed." "I wanted to let him know he had an ally." "Before he had a chance to ask you to resign." "Exactly." "When I was finished, he simply pushed the file aside as if he was unconcerned with it." "Clyde, the President of the United States is afraid." "What, he's afraid of you?" "Of a potential invasion from abroad." "We'll have two glasses of your finest champagne." "Of course, Mr. Hoover." "HOOVER:" "Ahem." " You're drinking now?" "We're celebrating, Clyde, we're celebrating." "You know I feel I could trust you with anything, right?" "Well, I'd like to think so." "The president signed a secret order granting me increased power of surveillance secret surveillance of communists and radicals, without warrant." "Ls that legal?" "Sometimes you need to bend the rules a little in order to keep your country safe, right?" "And to make sure I hadn't heard it wrong, I clarified this with Secretary of State Hull." "And he said, and I quote, "You go ahead and investigate those cocksuckers."" " Vulgar." " Hmm, agreed." "[SNIFFS]" "Clyde I've been meaning to ask you something." "Feel free." "I need someone who understands what's at stake here you understand?" "Someone who I can trust an associate director of the Bureau." "I know you've only been in your current position for, what, 12 months now." "Oh, almost 18 now, sir." "You're missing my point, Clyde." "I want you to be my number-two man." "I'm not much for the spotlight, Edgar." "I need you, Clyde." "Do you understand?" "I need you." "On one condition." "Good day or bad, whether we agree or disagree we never miss a lunch or a dinner together." "Well, I would have it no other way." "Hey, pull over." " Only a half a mile to Mount Rose." " Can't wait." "[GRUNTS]" "[SIGHS]" "Orville!" "[THUNDER RUMBLING]" "HOOVER:" "In the end, the child's body was found just within sight of Mr. Lindbergh's home." "The body was blackened the left leg missing from the knee down." "There was a visible fracture on the skull." "He'd suffered a violent blow to the head." "I told them months ago." "He must've fallen on the way down, with the baby in his arms." "ANNA:" "We are the sinners, Edgar." "We tolerated lawlessness in the land until it grew to diabolical proportions." "The baby's blood is on all our hands, Edgar." "On your hands, Edgar." "Yes, Mother." "[THUNDER RUMBLING]" "HOOVER:" "Six weeks after the kidnapping Congress passed the Lindbergh Law making kidnapping a federal offense." "The right to make arrests followed and the right to bear arms." "So I continued collecting the finest scientific minds in the country." "He claims to be the world expert on wood analysis." "It's easy to be the expert if you're the only person in the world with any interest." "He does claim he can tell as much from a cut of wood as a doctor can from an autopsy." " Ah." "He has, um, social difficulties." "He is mentally ill, isn't he?" "He's only as mad as you are." "Sir." "This was supposed to be temporary, Mr. Hoover." "If you want your Sherlock Holmes playing time..." "Where do you suggest we go, sir, where?" "I suggest you take your case to Congress." "Fine, sir." "Have it your way." "I'll tell people we could not solve the case because we could not afford laboratories and the Attorney General wouldn't allow us to use his lounge." "Fine." "Now get your science fair project out of here." "Yes, sir." "Right away, sir." "Gentlemen, keep working." "Mr. Tolson, let's get the president on the phone." "The depravations of vicious outlaws, roving from state to state like packs of wolves amounts to an actual armed invasion of America." "We must outsmart and outwit the criminal, foreign and domestic." "They have chemists building bombs." "We need chemists tracing their efforts." "We must have the most advanced force in the world if we are to have the safest nation on earth." "And, please, gentlemen, let us not for a moment lose sight of our goals:" "To protect the honest citizen to teach the criminal that regardless of his subterfuges his twisting, his squirming and slimy wriggling he cannot escape the one inexorable rule of law enforcement that you can't get away with it." "Thank you." "MAN:" "Thank you, Mr. Hoover." "But your agency is already one of the most well-funded in Washington, is it not?" "Yes, that is true, sir but our car and bank robbery recoveries totaled 6.5 million last year and our budget is only, well, two million." "Unlike other departments in Washington, we actually run a profit." "[ALL CHUCKLE]" "We cannot quantify the value of our successes with the hoodlums Pretty Boy Floyd, Baby Face Nelson, Machine Gun Kelly and other hoodlums of that nature." "Mr. Hoover, is it true that you spend the Bureau's money on advertising?" "We are not permitted to engage in advertising of any kind, sir." "No." "But you take part, for instance, in the making of radio shows and comic books." "I've listened to several of these G-Men programs." "Your picture seems to be shown in conjunction with them quite frequently." "We declined emphatically to lend any form of endorsement had nothing to do with their production, furnished no advice, technical or otherwise." "Well, the very advertisement says that broadcasts were "true reflections, as contained in the official records based on actual cases from the files of the Federal Bureau of investigation Saturday night at 8:00."" "Mr. Hoover, what are your exact qualifications for your position of leadership in this Bureau?" "My qualifications, sir?" "Nineteen years with the Department of Justice." "Nineteen." "Twelve as director." "In all that time, you ever make an arrest yourself?" "I have made investigations." "I administer several cases at once." "Well, that's not what I asked." "The comic books show you with a machine gun, making arrests." "Ls that just fiction?" "[CLEARS THROAT]" "I am responsible for thousands of arrests, sir." "So you admit it is pure fiction." "In fact, it wasn't you who hunted down and captured John Dillinger at all." "It was Agent Purvis." "Ls that correct?" "I was in charge of all of those investigations but, no, sir, I have not personally made an arrest." "Any other questions, gentlemen?" "MAN:" "Let's bring it to a vote." "Put those away." "TOLSON:" "Well, that didn't go well." "We spend our lives working and we get a political attack?" "What does he expect, crimes to go unsolved?" "Why is he fighting me?" "I want you to start a file on Senator McKellar." "I want four agents on him at all times." "I want to know what's in his trash, I want you to photograph him at every dinner." "Don't get in the car." "You can walk back." "Edgar we have lunch." "We don't miss lunch no matter what, remember ?" "You pulled away from me in there." "You perjured yourself Edgar, and the lie was an easily provable one." "If you continue to persue it there's no telling how much worse it could've been." "Find Agent Purvis." "He is to be demoted immediately or better yet, fired." "Firing the man who killed John Dillinger would be a PR disaster." "Then he is to spend the rest of his career behind a desk." "And if he'd like to keep that job, he'd best stay out of the papers." "Go." "I don't know who I can trust anymore." "Only you." "Only you, Mother." "You're all I have to keep me safe, you understand that?" "Please, Mother, let me take you to a doctor." "A simple examination isn't unholy, is it?" "Mother." "Mother, please." "Faith, Edgar." "Faith." "Don't wilt like a little flower." "Be strong." "Yes, Mother." "I will." "HOOVER: if what Congress valued more than wits and brains was muscle if what they hungered for was an armed American hero then I was willing to risk my very life and give them both." "Move." "Go." "AGENT:" "Hold it, government agents!" "[AGENTS SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]" "[GUN COCKS]" "[HORSE WHINNIES]" "HOOVER:" "The arrest is mine to make!" "Move." "Mr. Karpis, you are under arrest." "Mr. Hoover himself." "I'm gonna be famous." "Put the handcuffs on him." "[GUN COCKS]" "Don't move, Mr. Mahan." "Blow it down." "Move." "[DOOR OPENS]" "[EXPLOSION]" "[MAN COUGHING]" "Mr. Brunette, you are under arrest." "Alvin Karpis said he couldn't be taken alive, but we took him without firing a shot." "And let me tell you, he shook all over." "His voice, his hands, and his knees." "You arrested Harry Campbell in Toledo and Brunette in Manhattan?" "And William Mahan in California." "But let me clarify without a shadow of a doubt this was a "we" job, not an "I" job." "Edgar, look at this." "We made the Post Toasties box." ""Melvin Purvis, the fbi agent that caught Dillinger."" "Write the cereal-maker." "Let them know..." "Oh. "Junior G-Man." Hmm." "Tell them they ought to print any further boxes to read "former agent of the fbi."" "Sit down, Clyde." "I'm gonna read something." ""Only eight more days." "Funny how even the dearest face will fade away in time." "Most clearly, I remember your eyes with a sort of teasing smile in them, and the feeling of that soft spot just northeast of the corner of your mouth against my lips."" "TOLSON:" "What is it?" "It's a letter from Lorena Hickok the White House reporter with the bad breath, to Mrs. Roosevelt." "No." "What are you gonna do with it?" "Nothing." "I accused her of having an affair with a man and Old Horse Face is having an affair with Mrs. Bat Breath!" "[CHUCKLING]" " A woman!" "Can you believe it?" " Mm." "[LAUGHING]" "[KNOCKING ON DOOR]" "Oh, excuse me, Mr. Hoover." "They'd like to see you in the laboratory." "Yes, Miss Gandy." "You tell them I'll be there in one minute." "Thank you." "We'll get to this later." "Speaking of horses, Clyde, I'm going to Del Mar this weekend." "I was thinking of taking a quick vacation and, well, I thought you'd like to join me." "Well, I've never been to the horse races, Edgar." "Well, it's wonderful." "And between me and you, when I lose, the track, they actually cover the losses." " So, what happens if you win?" " They still pay." "Then where's the thrill?" "In the sun that falls on the stands, the hotel rooms, the service the restaurants, but, most of all, Clyde, it's the company." " Come with me." " I'd love to." "Fantastic." "I'll have Miss Gandy make all the arrangements." "Well, I can't go now." "But maybe in a couple months after I've saved up." " It's completely covered, Clyde." " Edgar, I can't let you do that." "Listen, you've done so much for me, for this Bureau." "Consider it a thank you." "I don't know that I'd feel comfortable." "Tell you what, Clyde:" "I'll get a suite with adjoining rooms rather than having us stay separate." "That'll be savings enough." "Deal." "What do you have for me, Mr. Koehler?" "Well, as you can see, ahem, there are several kinds of wood here." "Pine, birch, fir, and, if you look closely, you will see..." " Thank you." " Mr. Tolson." "That each has its own internal markings, rings and knots and its own external markings from the machinery used to mill the raw timber and these that mark the tools used to build the ladder." "The question is, how does this help us identify the kidnappers, Mr. Koehler?" "I need more money, sir." " More money, sir, for what?" " Postage." "I need to write every mill on the East Coast and see if their blades match these marks." "Hmm." "I want a report from each mill and a map tracking all leads." "By the time I get back from New York, I want something to report." "Good day." "HOOVER:" "Just like the communist radicals before them the gangster fell from favor." "Now, finally, children dreamed of joining the fbi." "[GRUNTS]" "MAN [ON SCREEN]:" "On your feet." "On your feet." "[PHONE RINGING ON SCREEN]" "Yeah?" "He's taking his shower." "Any message?" "There ain't any shower there, copper." "[ALL CHUCKLE]" "[ALL CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]" "MAN:" "Miss Temple!" "Mr. Hoover, I was wondering if you would join my police force." "Why, yes, Miss Temple." "If you agree to be an honorary G-Woman, and give me one little kiss." "I don't know if your wife would approve, Mr. Hoover." "[BOTH CHUCKLE]" "But, you see, I still live with my mother." "SHIRLEY:" "Oh." "Okay." "REPORTER 1:" "Look this way!" "REPORTER 2:" "That's real spiffy." "REPORTER 3:" "Nice smile." "Thank you very much." "REPORTER:" "Excuse me, sir." "Can we get a statement?" "PHOTOGRAPHER:" "How'd you like the picture?" "[REPORTERS SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]" "MAN:" "This way, Mr. Hoover!" "After you, Mother." "[HORN HONKS]" "Should we go to the club?" "After we drop Mother off at the hotel." "[HORN HONKING]" "[BAND PLAYING JAZZ MUSIC]" "I have you at a table with Anita Colby." "Lela Rogers and her daughter Ginger have asked if they can join." "HOOVER:" "As long as it's near the front." "Miss Rogers, pleasure to meet you." "This must be your mother." "Hello." "J. Edgar Hoover." "This is Clyde Tolson." "Anita, good to see you." "The bullet entered the back of the head and exited through the front near his cheek." "The thing that most people don't realize is that there is little blood." "The heat from the bullet actually seals the wound as it enters so the crime scene is far more peaceful than is depicted in your moving pictures." "And little Lindy." "Did you see the child with your own eyes?" "Those are details I wouldn't disclose with a refined group of women such as yourselves." "I couldn't bear to make you shed a tear." "But I assure you this, we are on the case." "I saw the Lindberghs in Paris." "I hardly recognized them." "HOOVER:" "Hmm." "Only justice can bring reason back to their lives." "But I might share one confidential clue with you, if you swear to secrecy." "[LELA GASPS AND GINGER CHUCKLES]" "Of course." "The gold notes from the ransom money have surfaced." "And can you guess where?" "Tell us." "Please, Mr. Hoover." "In the Bronx, on three occasions." "And each one of the shop owners claim they received them from a man with a pointed chin and a German accent." "Take my word for it, Mr. Hoover." "All the admiration in the world can't fill the spot love goes." "Hmm." "Or keep your bed warm." "I serve my country, Miss Colby." "The nation's admiration is more than enough for me." "Heh." "But it likely makes for a cold bed." "Mr. Hoover, would it be out of the question to bother you for a dance?" "Oh, uh, how do you mean?" "Well, simply a dance." "You do dance, don't you?" "Well, that is a skill that, um, I haven't yet mastered." "And the night is getting long, isn't it, Mr. Tolson?" "Mr. Tolson?" "No time like the present." "It's my favorite song, come on." "It's time we leave." "Uh, we have a great deal of work." "We..." "We..." "We have a great deal of work tomorrow and I'm afraid we don't have time to dance." "We're very busy, aren't we?" "Yes." "And my sincere apologies." "I..." "Right now, Mr. Tolson." "Thank you very much." " Good evening." "LELA:" "Ha, ha." "Good night." "[BOTH CHUCKLE]" "I don't..." "I..." "I don't..." "I don't like to..." "I don't like to dance, Mother." " I don't like to da..." " Edgar, go look in the mirror." "Talk the way the doctor taught you to." "Be my little Speedy." "[SIGHS]" "I can spit my words out with..." "With..." "[EXHALES]" "I can spit my words out with precision, diction, and clarity." "I can sp..." "Spit my words out with precision, diction, and clarity." "I'm a proficient, remarkable lad, capable of remarkable feats." "I'm a profic..." "Mother." "Mother, I don't like to dance." "Mostly I don't like to dance with women." "I think it's time you knew this." "And I find it humiliating and I refuse to be humiliated." "Edgar, stop." "Do you remember Barton Pincus?" "Yes, Mother." "His father was a watchmaker." "He was 10 years younger than me and you used to call him Birdy or Daffy or something to that effect." "And do you remember what happened to Daffy?" "After the school custodian discovered him in a hoop skirt and flower bonnet?" "He was made to stand outside in front of the school wearing the bonnet and skirt as punishment." "Did you ever wonder why we called him Daffy?" "For his odd behavior, I believe." "It's short for "daffodil," Edgar." "Do you remember what happened to Daffodil Pincus?" "Yes, Mother." "He..." "He shot himself six weeks after." "That's right." "And I thank God every day that my own sons don't suffer from his condition." "Edgar." "I'd rather have a dead son than a daffodil for a son." "And now, I'm gonna teach you to dance." "Yes, Mother." "[HOOVER HUMMING]" " Bring this right over here, please." " Sure, sir." "All right." "Now, when did you get this shipment?" "It's a long while back." "I'm thinking, uh, November 1931." "Three months before the kidnapping." "All right." "Thank you." "The lumberyard is a cash business, there aren't any receipts or names." "It tells us where he was shopping before we were looking." "Show me the addresses of where the ransom bills have shown up." "AGENT:" "It's 456 West Third." "And 476 West Third." "And down the street right here." "HOOVER:" "We knew who we were looking for." "Someone who'd done business in this neighborhood for years." "Someone who was still there." "He was average height, blue eyes." "High cheekbones and a pointy chin." "Yes, sir, a pointed chin and an accent, like a..." "German accent, maybe?" "A German with big cheekbones." "Am I, uh, going to get him in some kind of trouble?" "Not if he didn't do anything wrong." "We're the fbi, son." "We're the good guys." "It was deposited by Walter Lyle." "He manages the gas station up on Lexington and 127th." "AGENT:" "Walter Lyle?" "You remember the man that paid with this?" "Yes, I remember him." "He bought 89 cents worth of gas." "And he paid with this bill?" "Yes, sir." "But I don't know him." "I haven't seen him since." "You would remember him if he came in again?" "Yeah, he was German, I think, I mean, with an accent and pointed chin." " High cheekbones, right?" " Yeah." "I looked at the bill funny." "He assured me he had a hundred more like it at home." "You had a conversation with him?" "No, that was it." "Thank you, Mr. Lyle." "I wrote down the license plate number." "That's the writing along the edge of the bill." "Let's go." "Miss Gandy, get Mr. Tolson." "Agent Sisk." "The New York Motor Vehicles Bureau describes it as a blue 1930 Dodge sedan." "The owner is a carpenter born in Germany lives at 1279 East 222nd Street in the Bronx." "His name is Bruno Richard Hauptmann." "[CHUCKLES]" "Let's move." "HOOVER:" "On September 19th, 1934 before we could arrest the most wanted man in America he'd been pulled over by a local cop for a broken tail light." "Can't believe this." "Pull over." "fbi, put your hands up!" " Put them up!" " Ls there a problem?" "Get out of the car!" "Bruno Hauptmann you are under arrest for the kidnapping and murder of Charles Lindbergh, Jr." "Cuff him, boys." "[HANDCUFFS CLICK]" "HOOVER:" "We finally had him." "Now we had to convict, but unlike trials of the past we now had forensics, expert witnesses, and facts." "We need a title, Agent Garrison." "[INTERCOM BUZZES]" "GARRISON:" "Right away, Mr. Hoover." "We are working, Miss Gandy." "HELEN [OVER PHONE]:" "The tape came in." "Bring it to my private office." "That'll be all for now, Agent Garrison." "MAN [ON RECORDING]:" "I just have to say you looked so beautiful sitting across that bar." "WOMAN:" "I saw you watching me." "MAN:" "I have to admit I was watching you for a long time." "[RECORDING FAST-FORWARDING]" "WOMAN:" "Slow down a little bit." "MAN:" "All right." "[BOTH MOANING]" "WOMAN:" "Let me take this off." "MAN:" "Turn around." "WOMAN:" "You got it?" "[BOTH MOANING]" "[INTERCOM BUZZES]" "Miss Gandy, I told you I am not to be disturbed." "HELEN [OVER PHONE]:" "I'm sorry." "Mr. Hoover?" "Yes, it's urgent." "I have Agent Shanklin on the line from Dallas." "SHANKLIN:" "My apologies, Mr. Hoover." "I told Miss Gandy to put me through." "What is it, Agent Shanklin?" "Sir, the president has been shot." "Who else knows about this?" "No one, sir." "I thought you should know before the press reports it." " Thank you, Agent Shanklin." " Yes, sir." "MAN [ON RECORDING]:" "Oh, that feels so good." "Get me Robert Kennedy immediately." "Mr. Hoover?" "Mr. Kennedy, the president has been shot." "What?" "Mr. Hoover?" "What?" "Mr. Hoover?" "[BELL RINGS]" "ANNOUNCER [OVER PA]:" "It's Frosty Mountain in front by a length and a half." "That's Jazz third by six." "Slapjack's fourth, final head." "Popstar Merell three quarters." "Turning for home, Frosty Mountain under the left by a fraction and a length and a half." "HOOVER:" "Number five." "He's gaining on them." "ANNOUNCER:" "It's Frosty Mountain, now." "[CROWD CHEERING]" "I'm not sure if I bet on that one." "Ah." "We lost again, Clyde." "ANNOUNCER:" "Dextro back by a half-length on the rail." "Dextro now making his move." "Findlay gives him the whip." "Oh, there he goes, there he goes!" "Come on, Dextro, come on, Dextro!" "[ALL CHEERING]" "[ANNOUNCER SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY OVER PA]" "[CLEARS THROAT]" "[HOOVER SIGHS]" " Did you see his shoes?" " Ha, ha." "HOOVER:" "Desi Arnaz?" "You mean the crocodile ones with the horrible buckles across the top?" "No, I didn't notice them one bit." "You'd think with their money they'd have a bit of fashion sense..." "HOOVER:" "Ha, ha." " ...or at least pay someone to have it." "Oh, and his faux-ginger wife." "When she walked in, I thought a hunter was gonna pull a rifle on that hat of hers." "[BOTH LAUGH]" "It was like this, you see, like..." "TOLSON:" "Ha-ha-ha." "That's right, with the feathers." "You know, I care so very much for you, Clyde." "I do." "And I love you, Edgar." "[CLEARS THROAT]" "ls everything okay?" "Yes, yes, I'm fine." "I'm fine." "I've been meaning to ask you something, Clyde." "Anything." "What do you think of Dorothy Lamour, the actress?" "With Rudy Vallee at the Stork Club?" "Yes." "That's the one." "She's a little camp for me, but, heh..." "Well, I've been thinking of taking her up on a proposal is all." "For dinner?" "No, no, not dinner." "We've been to dinner several times now." "When?" "Oh, in New York, when I've gone up on the weekends." "I see." "I suppose what I'm..." "What I'm trying to say here, Clyde, is, well I think it may be time for a Mrs. Hoover." "What, you don't like her?" "Ls that it?" "Don't you make a fool of me, Edgar." "I'm not, Clyde, I'm not making a fool of you." "Have you...?" "Have you become physical?" "Yes, we have." "What is it, Clyde?" "Do you want me to be half a person?" "Remain incomplete, is that what you want?" "[GRUNTING] ls that what I am to you, incompletion?" "Clyde, pick that glass up immediately!" "No, I will not!" "I have no reason to!" "I refuse!" "So, go on, fire me." "Do it." "Now!" "Get a hold of yourself." "You're acting like a fool!" " Agh!" " Stop this!" "Clyde!" "You have no shoes on, for God's sakes!" "No." "No, I will not!" "I won't even listen to you!" "You will never tell me what to do!" "You just lost that right!" " Stop it!" " I see right through you!" "You're a scared, heartless, horrible little man!" " Unh!" "Don't you dare!" " Unh!" "[BOTH GRUNTING]" "[BOTH PANTING]" "Don't you ever do that again." "I won't." "Cly..." "Clyde, where are you going?" "Clyde, please." "Clyde, don't leave me!" "Clyde, please." "Clyde, I'm sorry!" "Clyde, please don't leave me!" "Clyde, I'm begging you!" "I'm begging you, Clyde!" "Clyde, please." "After all..." "After all, we have another day of races." "If you ever mention a lady friend again it will be the last time that you share my company." "[DOOR OPENS]" "[DOOR CLOSES]" "Love you, Clyde." "Love you." "Mr. Meter looks promising." "[ANNOUNCER SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY OVER PA]" "[SIGHS]" " Unh." "Ugh." " What is it, Clyde?" "Clyde?" "Someone get a doctor." "Clyde." "Someone get a doctor now!" "Someone get a doctor!" "Clyde, look at me." "Look at me." "Someone get a doctor now!" "Help!" "He'll recover most of his function but a stroke like this, it will limit the hours he can work the information he can process." "Are you okay, Mr. Hoover?" "Yes, I'm fine." "I just..." "I was playing with my dog in the yard on Saturday." "Perhaps it's dehydration." "That could do it, but it may be wise to reduce your hours as well." "At your age, it's important to take leave." "Miss Gandy, please, give us some privacy." "Let me tell you, if you ever denigrate me in front of my staff again I'll have you railroaded out of your profession." "Understand?" "I apologize, sir." "Tell me something." "What do you have for energy?" "We have diet medications which tend to give a boost." "So I could lose a few pounds and have more energy as well?" "Wouldn't worry about your weight, sir." "It's solid weight." "Hmm." "Schedule a daily visit." "Yes, sir." "They're giving King the Nobel Prize." "Can you believe it?" "The degenerates and radicals are being lifted up internationally." "It's like it's 1920 all over again." "Don't." "When he finds out that we have this audiotape that we know the truth about his character he's going to decline the award, Clyde, believe me." "President Johnson..." "Wait." " Clyde." " Wait." "You're gonna have to learn to enunciate." "I can't seem to understand you." "Now, the problem is this:" "We have no legal tools." "You see, our laws have not kept pace with the improved tactics of today's criminals." "I'm gonna do this for you." "What's your idea?" "Well, we have friends in the press, right?" "We plant stories with them to ensure that the activities of suspected radicals see the light of day." "They'll trace it." "Well, only if it's true." "See, it's called counterintelligence, Clyde." "The more untrue the story, the more dramatic the impact." "Now, I'm going to send the hotel recording along with a personal letter the day before he gets the Nobel Prize." "And if he accepts the award, we'll send the tape straight to the press." "Are you sure that you want to be involved with that kind of surveillance?" "Well, that's why the letter won't be from me." "It'll be a fictitious letter from one of his own." "Then there can be no room for error." "I'm not sure that we could ensu..." "I cannot understand what you're saying, Clyde." "Please." "Come on now." "Learn to speak up." "[CHUCKLES]" "Now, listen, I'm gonna need you in the office tomorrow." "No time to relent." "I can't." "Yes, you can." "Now eat." "You'd think after all this time she'd be able to cook my egg correctly." "HOOVER:" "What exactly are in these shots?" "DOCTOR:" "Oh, it's just vitamins a little extra pick-me-up." "HOOVER:" ""Look into your heart." "You know you are a complete fraud and a great liability to all of us Negroes."" "I said "us," Miss Gandy, "us," not "the."" "You're a Negro now, sir?" "Write every word as I say it, is that understood?" "Now, "White people in this country have enough frauds of their own but they do not have one at this time that is anywhere near your equal." " I repeat..."" " Sir, what is this exercise?" "Miss Gandy, I am not going to entertain questions during my dictation, now write." ""I repeat, you are a colossal fraud and an evil, vicious one, at that!" "You do not believe in God." "You do not believe in any personal moral principles!"" "Sir, may I ask who this will be addressed to..." "The question is not to whom, Miss Gandy, not to whom but from whom and it is not from this office, is that understood?" ""You have turned out to be not a leader but a dissolute, abnormal, moral imbecile." "There's only one thing left to do and you know what that is." "There's but one way out, and you better take it before your filthy, abnormal, fraudulent self is bared to this nation."" "Did you get everything?" " Edgar." " Type it up." "Type it up." "[DOOR OPENS]" "[DOOR CLOSES]" "I understand that you work for our PR department, is that correct?" "For two years now, sir." "Then you are familiar with my earlier work against Edward Clarke and his Ku Klux Klan, are you not?" "Yes, sir." "He was arrested for a violation of the white slave traffic act for crossing state lines to have an affair with a white woman." "Ls that correct, sir?" "That is correct." "It was the strongest law at my disposal at the time." "I'll have you know that I'm very proud of that work." "Miss Gandy told me that you stopped with Bruno Hauptmann's arrest." " Would you like to start there?" " Yes, yes, I think we shall." "HOOVER:" "Mr. Hauptmann was brought to trial on January 2nd, 1935." "REPORTER:" "H.L. Mencken called this the biggest story since the resurrection." "From the looks of things, this may be bigger." "Well, you see, no two saws make the same markings." "This saw from Bruno Hauptmann's tool chest makes markings identical to those found on the ladder used in the crime." "OSBORNE:" "In the ransom note and Mr. Hauptmann's writings he wrote the word "anyding" for "anything", uh, "gut" for "good" "boad" for "boat," and notice the inverted capital N's." "And the Y's that look like J's." "LAWYER:" "Mr. Lindbergh, you said you heard a voice in the cemetery that night." "Yes, very clearly." "A voice, to the best of my belief calling Dr. Condon in a foreign accent." ""Hey, doctor."" "LAWYER:" "Since that time have you heard the same voice?" "Yes, I have." "Whose voice was it that you heard in the cemetery that night saying, "Hey, doctor"?" "That was Hauptmann's voice." "But did he act alone?" "He never confessed, but what sociopath ever does?" "The evidence was clear." "He was indicted for murder in the first degree while perpetrating a burglary." "In New Jersey, that is punishable by death." "LAWYER:" "Mr. Hauptmann you've had an opportunity in this courtroom today to tell the whole truth." "Have you told the truth?" "I told the truth already." "LAWYER:" "And the statements to District Attorney Foley." "Did you tell him the truth?" "To a certain extent." "To a certain extent you didn't tell him the truth." "Ls that right?" "This board that was found in your closet, S-204 has these numbers written on it." "It's a little blurred now, isn't it?" "Looks like it." "Between are some words." "It looks like Decatur and Sedgwick." "You see that?" "You know what that means, don't you?" "That address on there?" "Not exactly." "[SCOFFS]" "It is the address and telephone number of Dr. Condon the man who paid the ransom written in your writing, found on a board in your closet." "HELEN [OVER PHONE]:" "Mr. Hoover, the doctor's here to see you." "MAN [ON RADIO]:" "Following Dr. King's historic speech many said that day brought about a new awakening in the conscience of the nation." "Others called it a national disgrace." "In the long history of man's cruelty to man, this was a day of hope." "KING [ON TV]:" "I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creeds." "A man's legacy is determined by where the story ends, Agent Owens." "Let's think about that tonight and make a decision tomorrow." "Ls this about a man's legacy?" "Or an institution's reputation?" "The two are connected, Agent Owens." "One invented the other and vice versa." "Good day to you." "Yes, sir." "We the jury find the defendant, Bruno Richard Hauptmann guilty of murder in the first degree." "[ALL APPLAUDING]" "[GAVEL BANGING]" "Your Honor, I ask for immediate sentencing." "According to the law of this state I rule that Mr. Bruno Hauptmann suffer death at the time and place and in the manner provided by law." "[ALL MURMURING]" "It's death for Hauptmann!" "[ALL CHEERING]" "HOOVER:" "The trial of the century the criminal shamed, the fbi cemented as the public hero." "That's our, that's our ending, agent." "But did he do it alone?" "Is he the one who actually took the child?" "How can you be sure?" "Well, the mountain of evidence we discovered, uncovered confirmed, and clarified, you cannot dispute it." " Clarence Darrow did." " Of course." "Heh." "Of course, Agent Owens." "That's what he does." "Mrs. Roosevelt issued a statement questioning his guilt." "Well, she has enough to hide on her own when it comes to un-American activities." "Well, if you're comfortable with it as an ending, I'll do my best with it." "Yes." "Yes, I am." "Sir." "[REPORTER SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ON TV]" "HOOVER:" "Watch this with me." "He received my letter and the audio tape last night." "REPORTER:" "President Johnson affixes his signature using more than 100 pens." "One of the coveted souvenirs goes to the Nobel prize-winner Martin Luther King, a dedicated leader..." "Go on, say it, Clyde." "It just seems so risky, Edgar, over a couple negative articles." "He's deliberately surrounded himself with communists and, with the power he's gathering, he's now our greatest domestic threat." "On behalf of the Nobel Committee we hand over to you the insignia..." " He's going to decline the award, Clyde." "He knows what we have can ruin him." "" "Of the Nobel Peace Prize, the diploma and the gold medal." "HOOVER:" "There's no question about it." "He's done." "I accept the Nobel Prize for Peace at a moment when 22 million Negroes of the United States are enga..." "[INTERCOM BUZZES]" "HELEN:" "Sorry to interrupt, sir." "Your next appointment is here." "The doctor first, Miss Gandy." "Yes, of course." "Send him in in a few minutes." "Thank you." "[BREATHING HEAVILY]" "Stay strong, Edgar." "You stay strong, Edgar." "Stay strong." "Unh!" "[WHIMPERING]" "[SOBBING]" "MAN [ON TV]:" "" "The parade as it makes its way to the Capitol Building for the inauguration." "[MARCHING BAND PLAYING MUSIC ON TV]" "You can see the Roosevelt High Marching Band leading the way." "The motorcade is making progress down Pennsylvania Avenue carrying our 37th president." "Richard Milhous Nixon waves to the crowd." "Yep, there's the president and his wife Pat happily waving." "[CROWD CHEERING]" "HOOVER:" "When morals decline and good men do nothing evil flourishes." "Every citizen has a duty to learn of this that threatens his home his children." "A society uninterested and unwilling to learn from the past is doomed." "[GUNSHOT]" "HOOVER:" "We must never forget our history." "We must never lower our guard." "Even today, there are organizations that have America as their prime target." "They would destroy the safety and the happiness of every individual and thrust us into a condition of lawlessness immorality that passes the imagination." "The president will see you now, Mr. Hoover." "Alrighty." "[GRUNTS]" "NIXON:" "Edgar, come in." "[KNOCKING ON DOOR]" "[HOOVER WHIMPERING]" "Oh, I am so sorry, Mr. Hoover." "You weren't answering your telephone." "You had a photo session with a retiring agent." "He's leaving now." "Where's Clyde?" "It's a bad day for him, sir." "Will you...?" "Will you schedule a dinner for us, please in our old corner booth?" "I'm afraid he's too tired today, sir." "Perhaps you'd like to dine at his house?" "I think he'd like that." "Yes." "Yes, thank you, Miss Gandy." "Helen?" "Yes?" "Do I kill everything that I love?" "He's not gone yet, Edgar." "And everything that we've built?" "No." "The Bureau is stronger than just you and me now." "Your child is sure and keeps this country safe." "Helen, if any... if anything ever happens to me, I need you to do something for me, do you understand?" "Of course." "Nixon, he's gonna come for it all." "He'll crucify me and my Bureau." "I'm afraid of what will happen if I'm not here to protect it, Miss Gandy." "Your private files, sir?" "Then no one will ever find them." "Thank you, Helen." "No matter what kind of pressure they put on?" "No matter how much?" "Yes, Edgar." "No matter how much pressure." "I promise you." "Thank you, Helen." "Well, did Nixon ask for your resignation?" "No, he wanted to know what we had in the files on him." "What did you say?" "I said, "What files, sir?"" "But he knows." "He wants us to expand our wiretaps to include news reporters now, Clyde." "We can't do that, especially not now." "That's the problem, Clyde." "If I don't agree to do his black bag jobs, he'll create his own private force." "Oh, that's illegal." "Yes, well, he didn't say it outright, but I saw it in his eyes." "He won't be controlled, Clyde." "He's a menace who'll do anything to hold on to power." "Right." "I see." "Yes." "See, I never played his game, that's the problem." "And if to some what I did seemed like rule-bending then perhaps they need to figure out what it is they did that made them feel blackmailed or intimidated." "I wasn't thinking that." "Then what?" "What were you thinking?" "I was thinking it might be time for us to retire." "Shut up, Clyde." "You built a great thing, Edgar." "And if you stop now, you'll be celebrated." "That's what you've always wanted, isn't it?" "Our country's lasting adoration?" "Well, there's a chance you could have it." "Yes." "Yes, and why wouldn't I?" "Hmm?" "Why wouldn't I, Clyde?" "I saved this country from a Bolshevik invasion rid this country of radicals, captured Machine Gun Kelly killed Dillinger, captured Karpis, convicted Bruno Hauptmann." "And now, with my last breath when I try to help save this country again I'm rewarded with a forced retirement?" "I will not go down, and the fact that you suggest that makes me question your very loyalty." "My loyalty, Edgar?" "Yes, your loyalty, Clyde." "I read your manuscript, Edgar." "You didn't arrest Karpis." "And you know as well as I do there was no white horse in the street no gun in the back seat." "And you didn't kill Dillinger." "Agent Purvis did." "But you kept all the glory for yourself." "And Machine Gun Kelly never said, "Don't shoot, G-Men."" "You made that up to sell comic books, Edgar." "And when we went to the scene of the greatest crime of the century Mr. Lindbergh didn't come out and shake your hand and express his faith in the fbi." "He called you a fussy little man, and he refused to even meet you." "And you didn't arrest Hauptmann." "Agent Sisk did." "You weren't even at the scene, Edgar." "Only the photo op." "Edgar, most of what you wrote is exaggeration some of it blatant lies, and I don't even know if you realize it anymore." "Edgar you can lie to everyone else, the whole world for your own sake, for the sake of the Bureau but you cannot lie to me." "I should've never given you your job, Clyde." "You know that?" "You weren't even qualified." "You remember the day you came in for your interview?" "I do." "You walked into my office and you fixed my window you picked up my handkerchief." "You handed it to me." "You remember why I was sweating, Clyde?" "It's because you were exercising." "No, I was..." "I was sweating because I..." "I knew at that very moment..." "I knew at that very moment that I..." "I needed you." "And I've never needed anyone else in my entire life." "Not like that." "So I began to perspire." "I know." "[HOOVER GASPS]" "Edgar, are you all right?" "Yes, yes, it's..." "It's just indigestion, Clyde." "Let's go to dinner tomorrow night, shall we?" "Our old corner booth." "Perhaps if I feel better." "Yes." "And you must..." "You must..." "We have a great many things to discuss." "And now I can't trust anyone else at the Bureau right now." "Can only depend on you." "Thank you, Edgar." "Good night, Clyde." "Good night, Edgar." "ANNIE:" "Welcome home, Mr. Hoover." "Oh, thank you, Annie." "Bozo, Bozo, G-Boy, come here." "HOOVER:" "The very essence of our democracy is rooted in a belief in the worth of the individual." "That life has meaning that transcends any man-made system that love is the greatest force on earth far more enduring than hatred or the unnatural divisions of mankind." "[PHONE RINGING]" "Yes?" "ANNIE [OVER PHONE]:" "This is Annie from Mr. Hoover's residence." "Mr. Hoover has passed." " Yeah?" "MAN:" "Sir." "[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]" "Jesus Christ." "That old cocksucker." "I'll get a speech prepared." "We should go on television." "Not yet." "First seal off his office, change his locks, do whatever you have to do." "I want those fucking files." "Yes, sir." "ANNIE:" "Oh, good." "Come in." "He's upstairs." "[WHIMPERING]" "Ladies and gentlemen, it is with a profound sense of personal loss that I learned of the death of J. Edgar Hoover." "This truly remarkable man has served his country for 48 years under eight presidents, as director of the fbi with unparalleled devotion and ability and dedication." "For 25 years, from the time I came to Washington as a freshman congressman he has been one of my closest personal friends and advisors." "And every American, in my opinion, owes J. Edgar Hoover a great debt for building the fbi into the finest law enforcement organization in the entire world." "I've ordered that all the flags of the government buildings be flown at half mast but I will say that, in doing so, that Edgar Hoover because of his indomitable courage against sometimes very vicious attack has made certain that the flag of the fbi will always fly high." "The fbi is the eternal monument honoring this great American." "HOOVER:" "Funny how even the dearest face will fade away in time but most clearly I remember your eyes with a sort of teasing smile in them and the feeling of that soft spot just northeast of the corner of your mouth."

"ÀÌ À̾߱â´Â Ç㱸À̸ç ƯÁ¤ Àι°°ú "ç°ÇÀ" ¹¦"çÇÏÁö ¾Ê½À´Ï´Ù" "August 9, 1987" "Higher." "Mommy, higher!" "Do an underdog, mom." "All right, Miss Fish." "One underdog coming up." "No!" "Kayla." "Baby, wake up." "Wake up for mommy." "Please." "Kayla!" "Nick." "Record lows out there, Scotty." "Yeah." "Hey, Lil." "Kinda chilly in here, too." "I hear you went to Christina's bar." "Yeah?" "From who?" "From her." "Me and Nicky went for a couple of beers." "Not like we knew she was working there." "Ain't that right?" "Gospel." " I ain't interested in your sister, Lil." " Good." "'Cause she's a train wreck." "Okay." " And she didn't hit on you?" " No." "You know the Mayor's gun recovery program?" "Turn in a weapon, get a pair of sneakers?" "This kid from Strawberry Mansion turned it in a month ago for a pair of Allen Iverson." "And FIU finally got around to it?" "Tunrs out the gun got a body on it." "Drive-by shooting, 1987." " The job ever come in?" " Unsolved." " Victim was a six year-old girl." " And this is what killed her?" "Rifling matched the projectile found at the scene." "This is Jason James and his son Jason Jr." "Stupid here's the one who took my gun without permission, turned it in." "How was I supposed to know it was hot?" "Saying I did." "Mr James, how long did you own this gun?" "Five years." "Bought it at a gun show, Barearms Bonanza." " Got proof of that?" " Nah." "But I remember the guy I bought it from." "Uncle Sam Murray." "Wears that crazy hat and everything." "Gun's got a history, Mr James." "It killed a little girl." "So maybe it was a good thing I turned it in." " Take off those shoes." " Dad, it's snowing outside." "Get 'em off." "You ain't profitting off of someone getting killed." "How much you pay for this, back in 2000?" "89 bucks." "That's cheap." "Well, it was used." "Cold Case 2x13 Time to Crime" "ij¼­¸° ¸ð¸®½º(¸±¸® ·¯½¬ æµ)" "´ë´Ï Çdzë(½ºÄ"Ƽ ¹ß·"½º æµ)" "Á¸ ÇÉ(Á¸ ½ºÆ¿¸¸ æµ)" "Á¦·¹¹Ì ·¡Ä¡Æ÷µå(´Ð º£¶ó æµ)" "Åè ¹è¸®(Àª Á¦ÇÁ¸®½º æµ)" "ORIGINAL AIR DATE ON CBS: 2005/01/30" "Drive-by at Langston Hughes Park." "There at that time was a drug war over turf." "Kayla Odoms was hit on a bullet ricocheted off the basket ball pole." "Yeah, it got her on the chest." "Cops in '87 figured the real target was one of the players or onlookers." "Two of the spectators were ex-cons, one was a known drug dealer, six others was petty records at the scene." "It's a big suspect pool." "911 caller, Rodney Johnson calls it in from a pay phone three blocks away." "Three blocks?" "Cell phones were science fiction in '87, Scotty." "Got anything on the car?" "B's, two door sedan." "No ID on the make or plates." "I'll send Vera and Jeffries to talk to the family." "We'll go see the gun dealer, who sold the MAC to Jason James." "Yeah, this Uncle Sam character." "What do you guess the time to crime was on this weapon?" "Less than a week?" "What, for a MAC-10?" "I bet someone bought that bad boy, used it on a crime that very day." "We lost Kayla 18 years ago." "Why we gotta relive it now?" "Mom, they got a good lead with this gun." "Let's start with you, Mr Odoms." "Where were you when Kayla got shot?" "I was driving a cab, till one thirty." "And you, Darnell?" "Home, watching TV." "The man you see here, he was just a pup back then." "Turned 12 that day." "Kayla was killed on your birthday?" "Do you know, she'd be 24 now." "Can you remember who was at the park that night, Mrs Odoms?" "I just remember Kayla talking the blue streak on those swings." "That girl, she could talk." "So I wasn't paying much attention to anyone else." "Till after..." "You think Darnell liked the fishes I gave him?" "I know he did." "You don't think he'd mind I named them for him?" "He can change them of he wants to." "No, he can't." "Gourmis gotta be called Kissy-face, because the way their mouths go." "You know what Darnell wants to be when he grows up?" " What?" " An ichthyologist." " Ichthyologist?" " Yeah, fish doctor." " Where do you get these words?" " From Darnell." "He's really smart." "Higher, mom." "Higher." " Do an underdog, mom." " All right, Miss Fish." "One underdog coming up." "No!" "Kayla!" "Baby, wake up." "Oh my god." "Don't touch me." "Nobody touch me." "Hey, someone call an ambulance." "Ain't no phone working around here." "Besides it ain't no use anyway." "The girl's dead." "She's not dead." " She's gonna wake up." " I'll find a phone, all right?" "Just.. don't worry." "Please." "Kayla!" "I didn't let her out of my arms till the paramedics got there thirty minutes later." "What were you doing at the park at ten p.m.?" "It was stifling that night." "Me and Kayla couldn't sleep." "We went out for a walk." "If we just stayed home, Kayla would be alive." "You couldn't have known what was gonna happen that night." "I've been telling her that for 18 years." "We both have." "Don't matter." "It's still my fault." "Always will be." "Well, here's a handsome couple." " Uncle Sam Murray?" " Let me guess." "Firearm for the missus." "Strictly safe defense." "Am I right?" "You sold a MAC-10 to a man named Jason James five years ago?" "I've been selling quality firearms for close to 20 years." "You can't expect me to remember one sale." "Well, that's why we brought this." "You recognize him?" "He do something wrong?" "Gun did something wrong." "Little girl was killed with that." "Hey, that ain't my fault." "I'm a dealer." "I don't gotta do background checks." "Where did you get the gun?" "You saying I had something to do with the shooting?" "Maybe." "If you owned it in '87." "That is a wild accusation." "I resent it," "I abhor it, I deny it." "Hey, Uncle Sam." "Listen up." "You had the gun at 2000." "We gotta trace it to '87." "So where and when did you get the MAC-10." "I got it in '99." "Keep going." "I was visiting my dad at the Delaware Downs housing projects." "Don't shoot, players." "I'm unarmed." "You with the housing authority, mister?" "Can't say that I am." "Wel, you ain't no ganster, so..." "Put that thing down, son." "Now." "Are you crazy, boy?" "This is a real gun." "Ain't no bullets in it." "What do you call those?" "Where the hell did you get this?" " I ain't telling." " Give it back!" "You lucky to be alive, you know that?" "Now git!" "Before I really bust a cap in your scrawny asses." "Those boys came this close to meeting their maker." "This close." "You didn't tell their parents?" "No." "Kids ran in the apartment across the hall and slammed the door." "Slammed it, huh?" "So you just walked on out of there?" "Those kids were lucky I showed up when I did." "Lucky for you, too." "Free gun and all." "Hey, I saved their lives." "And made 88 bucks to boot." "They're gouramis, you don't have them yet." "I know." "Thanks." "Dad helped me pick them out." "They're gonna be all right in this heat?" "For an hour, sure." "If they're not, Darnell can fix 'em." "He's gonna be a fish doctor." "There's something going down." "We gotta enhance this." "The Philly PD way." "You know, any other city, they'd have one of them zoomer sticks." "Ah, quit griping." "Your eyes are better than mine." "See the guy in red shorts?" " Yeah." " Cedric Browning." "I arrested him couple of years ago." "Maybe this household heated it up a little bit later that night?" "Girls Gone Wild?" "Video tape the Odoms family made, day of the murder." "It was the brother's birthday." "You got anything?" "Well, there's some kind of scuffle going on here." "We'll check it out." "Might be connected to the shooting." "Uh, boss had a snafu with the gun." "What's that?" "Well, the serial number showed it was manufactured at Barkan Industries." "They have a record of it leaving the factory in August '87." "Going for where?" "The Second Amendment." "A gunshop in West Philly." " So what do their records say?" " That's just it." "The Second Amendment says they never received the credit guns that included our MAC-10." "So that baby was born, left the hospital, never made it home." "Maybe it was delivered to the wrong store?" "Or maybe someone kidnapped it." "The owner at Barkan Industries says he's gonna see through his records." " No warrant necessary." " What a guy." "Now, we gotta find out where that gun went, Nick." " If it was delivered to the wrong store." " Or if it was stolen before it ever got to one." "It sounds like fun." "Wish we can help, but.." " We're on the street, boss." " Delaware Downs?" "Uncle Sam said these kids with the MAC went back into an apartment catty-corner to his dad's." "Well, hopefully the buck stops there." "One gun can pass through a lot of hands in 18 years." "All we need to know is who was holding it in '87." "Hey." "So Christina didn't come on to you?" " Nah." " Not how I saw it." "Well, you left, Nick." "You didn't see anything." " You gotta call it off." " Don't worry about it." "Serious." " It's what you call 'ill-advised'." " Hey, I'm on it, okay?" "Yes?" "Philly Homicide, ma'am." "We're tracking a murder weapon." "It was last seen in this apartment in '99." "'99, you say?" "I was here in '99." "Hell, I was here in '89." "Feel like I've been here since'09." "Man saw two boys out in the stairwell playing with a gun." "MAC-10." " And they ran into your place." " Well, that figures." "Ma'am?" "Those boys are my grandsons." " Where'd they got the gun?" " Where I kept it under floor board," " thinking they'd never find it." " So that gun was yours?" "Not exactly." "I stole it." " Mind telling us from who?" " Am I gonna catch trouble?" "Nah." "From a family I was working for." "This was, what, back in '93." "Truly, can I have a word, please?" "Shut the door, please." "Is there something you'd like to tell me?" "I don't think so, Eric." "I think there is." "I think you found something under my mattress." "No." " You're lying." " I got vacuuming to do." "You're the only one who comes in here." "I know you took it." "Now give it back." "What?" " Give back to me, Truly, or I swear to god.." "I see these pictures you draw." "List of all those people with skulls by their name." "Ever hear the word privacy?" "I ain't gonna let you shoot up yourself, this house or anyone else for that matter." "Then I'll just get another gun and hunt you down with it." "You can try Eric." "Just remember you ain't the only one gonna be armed." "I took that kid's gun for his own good." "Then my grandkids nearly got killed with it." "Any idea where Eric got hold of that MAC-10?" "Nope." "Never had a chance to find it out either." "Got fired the next day." "No good deed goes unpunished." "Sounds like you might've saved some lives there, Truly." "Maybe, maybe not." "Who's to say?" "Just finished retooling." "On account of the assault weapon bans being lifted." "It's about time they stop meddling with the Second Amendment." "Sold many macs back in 1987?" "MACs were the weapon of choice among certain populations back then." "You got the invoices, which stores the guns were shipped to?" "All that records post '92 are computerized." "Pre '92, however.." "is a different story." "That's unfortunate." "If in case my macs was delivered to the wrong store by accident," "I'm not liable, right?" "We're just looking for the shooter, Mr Barken." "Yeah, unless you pulled the drive-by in '87, you got nothing to worry about." "Good, good." "I just make them." "Can't control who buys them." "Take all the time you need." "Nice guy." "Eric Morrison?" "Yeah, I'm Eric." "Did I do something?" "You know a woman who used to work for your family?" "Truly Sinclair." "Yeah, sure." "Why?" "Well, she says she took a gun from you in 1993." " Yeah." " MAC-10." " Yeah." " How long did you own it?" "Six, seven months." "Why?" "Is Truly in trouble?" "'Cuz.. she kinda saved my life." "Yeah?" "How?" "I told my parents Truly stole money from me." "But she told them the truth about the gun." " But they believed you?" " No." "They believed her." "Came down on me like a ton of bricks." "But Truly says she was fired the next day." "Yeah, she was." "For stealing." "My parents were jerks." "So you're 16 years old." "How do you get your hands on a MAC-10." "That's kind of a funny story." "Maybe not that funny." "See, we lived near this.." "this riding club where I used to draw pictures of satan and stuff, freak out the riders." "Hasta la vista, baby." "Sweet." " Okay, let me try." " Wait, I wanna see what I hit." "Dude.." "Check this out." "It's terminated." "What's that?" "Holy crap." "You shot a horse." "Gross, its guts are spilling out." "I didn't mean to shoot that." " Let's get the hell out of here." " We can't leave it like this." "What are we supposed to do, call a vet?" "You gotta put it out of its misery." " You shoot it." " I'm not shooting a horse." "Let's just get out of here." " They just left it there?" " He didn't suffer long." "Cuz you found the gun in those bushes?" "I did what Chip and Dale couldn't." "You ever get your hands on another gun?" "My parents started to watch me like a hawk." "Then I graduated high school, got away from guys like Pate." "Anger kinda just dissipated." "So how'd Pate come into that MAC-10?" "Main Line yacht club." "Bought it from some guy named Witherspoon." "At least that's what I heard him bragging about." "Okay, Eric." "Hey, if you see Truly again, would you apologize to her for me?" "You know, for being such a demented kid?" "To tell her yourself." "Ain't like she lives in Antarctica." "That MAC-10 was not delivered to any gunstore in the greater Philadelphia area." "Yeah, and I got the paper cuts to prove it." "So it was stolen." "Got us thinking about who was delivering those guns for Barkan." "So we checked the employment rolls at Philly Hall '87." "That's cover who transported the guns?" "Interesting name on their list of drivers." "Rodney Johnson." "That 911 caller." "Maybe a target of the drive-by since he was out on the court that night." "That's some coincidence." "Or not. / This guy transported the gun that almost killed him?" "Clincher is that guy fighting with Cedric Browining on that video tape.." "Rodney again?" "One and the same." "Lot of roads all leading one direction." "Right to Rodney Johnson." "Talked to your old boss at Philly Hall, Rodney." "Said you were fired because your cargo had a habit of coming in late and light." "Those accusations were unsubstantial." "One of the MAC-10s you were hauling turned out to be a murder weapon." "Killed a six year old, Kayla Odoms." "You remember Kayla." "You called in the 911." "Yeah, I remember." "So who do you figure the shooter was that night?" "How do I know?" " Because you sold them the gun." " Me?" "You." "Statute of limitations on theftery is up, right?" "Then I admit." "I moved a lot of guns." "So who did you sell one to that might want to see you dead?" "Look here, my aka back then was Big MAC." "On account of how many guns I flipped." " How many?" " Hundreds." "And I made it a point of not getting to know my clientele." "Let's talk about Cedric Browing, Rodney." " What's your fight with him about?" " Excuse?" "At the park." "The night of the murder." "You were hassling each other." "That was a personal dispute." "He was in my face cuz his woman was casting them ferrochromes my way." "And you weren't waving them off?" " Maybe it was him." " Cedric wasn't the shooter." "He was selling peanuts at Phillies game that night." "You get into lot of domestic disputes, Rodney?" "With boyfriends, husbands, maybe?" "I tried not to mess with the married ladies." " Tried?" " I failed on occasion." "One in particular." "Guess it don't make no difference now." " Who?" " Dead girl's mum." "Jessie." "Mr Witherspoon?" "I'm Witherspoon." "Who wants to know?" "Philly PD." "Philly PD, huh?" "Whatever it is, I didn't do it." "We hear you sold a weapon to a kid named Pate back in '93." "'93, it's possible." "I had a small problem with the grain industry back then." "How's that?" "I needed whatever cash I could muster." "So you sold a MAC-10 to a teenager?" "My judgement was impaired." "So where did you get the MAC?" "You ever heard of Chicken Little?" "Cuz that night, I was Chicken Little." "What night would that be?" "The night my better half kicked me out of the house." "I slept by the river." "Bitch!" "I was sure it was my wife sending me a not- so-subtle message to blow my brains out." " When was this?" " August, '87." "I remember because I swore off the hard stuff right then and there." "The hard stuff, mind you." "Not the entire family of acoholic beverages." "That look at the car you got, you sure you were seeing it straight?" "Yeah." "It was a Plymouth." "Volare." "Like the song." "Volare." "Before your time." "Can you remember anything about the driver?" " Anything at all?" " No." "Just the car." "And that it wasn't my wife's." "Cuz she was on a oneway train to Augusta that night." "Last time I ever saw her." "Rodney Johnson." "Worst mistake of my life." "Who knew?" " No one." " You sure?" "If you're thinking about my husband, don't." "Cuz he didn't know." "How can you be so sure?" "Because I've been with him for the last 18 years." "Don't you think he would've mentioned it by now?" "Unless he had a reason not to." "He didn't know." "And you can't tell him." "Promise me." "Sorry, Jessie." "I can't do that." "Why?" "Why should he suffer now because I was a fool 18 years ago?" "Because I was lonely and selfish." "Did you know Rodney had other women?" "I was stupid, not blind." "You saw him with someone else." "That day, at Darnell's birthday party." "Do you think Mr and Mrs Kissyface will have babies, Darnell?" "No." "Gouramis don't mate in captivity." "It's good cake, babe." "Yeah." "Thanks, mum." "No problem." "You like the mitt more than the fish?" "Nah." "I like them both the same." "You all right?" "Yeah, sure, I'm good." "Well, I got a double shift tonight." "You gotta go?" "12 years old." "You a man now." "Happy birthday, son." "My birthday is coming up too." "Yeah, we know." "Mum, dad's leaving." "Don't you wanna say goodbye?" "I was such a fool." "Thought my heart was actually breaking." "Crazy right?" "Considering what God was about to teach me about real heartbreak." "It wasn't chance, was it?" "You going back to that park that night." "Now you know why Kayla's dying is my fault." "Did you go to confront Rodney?" "More like to kick his worthless ass." "But by the time I got there, he was already playing ball." "So you waited." "Took Kayla to the swings." "Any justice in the world and that bullet would've hit me." "Not her." "Scotty." "Come in, it's freezing." "Nah, I can't." "Why not?" "Chris." "That night, it was a mistake." " It was?" " Cuz.." " you know." " No, I don't know." "Your sister.." "It's ill-advised." "Scotty, I know what this is." "You're thinking about Elisa." "I can't be anything with anyone right now." " Sorry." " Well." "For the record, I'm not." "Look, I don't plan on telling Lil." "Me neither." "It's better that way." "If you change your mind," "I'm right here." "Yeah." "Okay." "We sure Mike Odoms didn't know about his wife's affair with Rodney Johnson?" "Jessie says no." "Cuz Lil just got a DMV report from '87." "The car that was seen dumping our MAC-10 off the bridge was a Plymouth Volare." "And guess who owned a Volare back then." "Please don't say Mike Odoms." "Maybe he didn't confront Rodney face to face." "Maybe it was at a distance." "So we're saying if Mike found out about Rodney..." "Maybe he set out to get rid of the man coming between him and his wife." "And trying to kill Rodney, he shot his own daughter." "My wife is a good woman." "Don't try and tell me otherwise." "We're not saying that, Mike." "But we are saying Jessie had an affair with Rodney Johnson in '87." "And Rodney Johnson was the target of that drive-by." "So what?" "You think I tried to kill him?" "My wife stepped out on me with a low-life like Rodney.." "Think about what you're saying to me, detectives." "We're saying you had a motive to shoot Rodney Johnson." "The oldest reason in the book." "Revenge." "No." "You're saying I killed my own daughter." "I'm not gonna sit here and take that kind of disrespect." "All right, Mike." "How do you explain that your car was ID'd as the shooter's?" "I can't." "I was working." "It don't make no sense." "Could someone have borrowed your car?" "I know I didn't let no one use it." "And Jessie would've said if she did." "So who else could've taken it?" "There wasn't nobody else home to take it." "Except Darnell." "Darnell was 12 years old." "I knew how to drive when I was 12." "Well, Darnell didn't." "now, I know that for a fact." "An absolute fact." "My boy did not know how to drive." "You don't recognize him?" "He's awfully young for one of my customers." "Come off it, Rodney." "You'd sell to a toddler if they had the cash." "Look again." "It's possible I did a business with a boy looking like this." "Possible?" "Keep in mind, I wasn't selling at a K-Mart with them fluorescent lights." "Semi or full?" "The Big MAC don't inventory semis." "Bad boys are selling all converted." "We'll take six." "You're the man, Big MAC." "Been a pleasure mercantiling with you." "I wanna buy a gun." "That's good." "Cuz I'm fresh out of milk and cookies, young blood." " Have you ever seen Miami Vice?" " Crockett and Tubbs" "Those were my boys." "Cuz the guns they use is the kind I want." "Choice of professional gangsters everywhere." "Converted MAC-10." "Fully automatic assault weapon." "Thirty rounds per second." "How much?" "For a beginner banger like yourself out to make his bones, a Benjamin." "That's including the bullets?" "One clip." "You need more, you come back and see me." "This shit your luch money or what?" "Can I have my gun?" "You bad, now boy?" "So who is this boy?" "Jessie's son." "Darnell." "Damn." "I didn't know Jessie had a son." "Why would you?" "Considering your interest in the women." "You know, Kayla would be alive today if it weren't for you." "How you figure?" "You provided the motive and the weapon." "And there ain't no 'statue' of limitations on aiding and abetting." "Come on now. / Maybe the DA can bump it up to conspiracy to commit murder." "Conspiracy." "I didn't pull no triggers." " Don't need to." " Just gotta give the assist." "Mr and Mrs Odoms." "Figured you'd be coming." "And we knew why so we got something to say." "Well, you don't need to say anything." "I fired that gun." "Killed Kayla." "Mr Odoms." "It's too late for that." "Went home in my cab." "Got in my car and drove by the park." " Shot it up." " It's true." "I saw him." "I didn't wanna say anything, cuz I love the man." "That true, Darnell?" "You don't gotta confess for me, dad." " They know." " They don't know nothing." "Do you?" "I wish I didn't." "I really do." "We've already lost one child." "You can't take away the only one we got left." "Please." " I'm sorry." " He was 12." "Courts will take that into consideration." "Why'd you do it, Darnell?" "To keep them together." "How'd you know it was Rodney coming between them?" "Heard my mom on the phone." "And then at the birthday party," "I saw the way she was looking at him." "And I just knew." "Then I thought about my dad in his cab." "Working his ass off." "And when my mom told me she was going to take Kayla out for a walk that night.." "You knew you could take the car and no one would know." "If only I would've known you were going to that park," "I would've never pulled that trigger." "I didn't know." "I didn't see you, or Kayla." "Till it was too late." "You bad now, boy.(?" ")" "No!" "Kayla!" "No." "No." "Wake up." "Wake up for mommy." "¢ÜMichael JacksonÀÇ 'Man in the Mirror' ¢Ü" "¢Ü I'm Gonna Make A Change, ¢Ü" "¢Ü For Once In My Life ¢Ü" "¢Ü It's Gonna Feel Real Good, ¢Ü" "¢Ü Gonna Make A Difference ¢Ü" "¢Ü Gonna Make It Right ... ¢Ü" "¢Ü As I, Turn Up The Collar On ¢Ü" "¢Ü My Favourite Winter Coat ¢Ü" "¢Ü This Wind Is Blowin' My Mind ¢Ü" "¢Ü I See The Kids In The Street, ¢Ü" "¢Ü With Not Enough To Eat ¢Ü" "¢Ü Who Am I, To Be Blind?" "¢Ü" "¢Ü Pretending Not To See Their Needs ¢Ü" "¢Ü A Summer's Disregard, ¢Ü" "¢Ü A Broken Bottle Top ¢Ü" "¢Ü And A One Man's Soul ¢Ü" "¢Ü They Follow Each Other On The Wind Ya' Know ¢Ü" "¢Ü 'Cause They Got Nowhere To Go ¢Ü" "¢Ü That's Why I Want You To Know ¢Ü" "¢Ü I'm Starting With The Man In The Mirror ¢Ü" "¢Ü I'm Asking Him To Change His Ways ¢Ü" "¢Ü And No Message Could Have Been Any Clearer ¢Ü" "¢Ü If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place ¢Ü" "¢Ü Take A Look At Yourself, And Then Make A Change ¢Ü" "¢Ü I've Been A Victim Of A Selfish Kind Of Love ¢Ü" "¢Ü It's Time That I Realize ¢Ü" "¢Ü That There Are Some With No Home, Not A Nickel To Loan ¢Ü" "¢Ü Could It Be Really Me, Pretending That They're Not Alone?" "¢Ü" "¢Ü A Willow Deeply Scarred, ¢Ü" "¢Ü Somebody's Broken Heart ¢Ü" "¢Ü And A Washed-Out Dream ¢Ü" "¢Ü They Follow The Pattern Of The Wind, Ya' See ¢Ü" "¢Ü Cause They Got No Place To Be ¢Ü" "¢Ü That's Why I'm Starting With Me ¢Ü" "¢Ü I'm Starting With The Man In The Mirror ¢Ü" "¢Ü I'm Asking Him To Change His Ways ¢Ü" "¢Ü And No Message Could Have Been Any Clearer ¢Ü" "¢Ü If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place ¢Ü" "¢Ü Take A Look At Yourself And Then Make A Change ¢Ü" "¢Ü I'm Starting With The Man In The Mirror ¢Ü" "¢Ü I'm Asking Him To Change His Ways ¢Ü" "¢Ü And No Message Could've Been Any Clearer ¢Ü" "¢Ü If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place ¢Ü" "¢Ü Take A Look At Yourself And Then Make That... ¢Ü" "¢Ü Change!" "¢Ü" "¢Ü I'm Starting With The Man In The Mirror, ¢Ü" "¢Ü I'm Asking Him To Change His Ways ¢Ü" "¢Ü No Message Could Have Been Any Clearer ¢Ü"

"Remember what life used to be like on Berk?" "Dragons." "You had to be crazy to live here." "But we're Vikings." "Crazy is what we do best." "And I guess I had enough crazy in me to do something no Viking had ever done before." "I trained a dragon." "Life on Berk hasn't been the same since." "And now, my friends and I have the greatest job in the world." "We're dragon trainers." "Living with dragons, it ain't easy." "It brings a new adventure every day." "And there's so much to Iearn." "Because if you wanna train dragons, you have to know dragons." "So, if you hurry, you can join us in the Great hall where we're just about to start a new class." " So that's a GronckIe." " Correct." "And you cannot tell its head from its tail." "Right, right!" "GronckIes do not Iike to be scratched under their chins." " I found that out the hard way." " OK." "No scratching under chin." "Got it." "What...?" "ToothIess, what's up, bud?" " Hey." " Whoa!" "A new dragon trainer!" "A new recruit." "Want to train dragons, do you?" " Looks eager enough." " This one's got potential." "Aye, we'II see about that." "Here it is." "Book of Dragons." "Between these two covers are the most incredible creatures you'd ever hope to see." "Some you know, but there are some you've never seen before." "And you won't last a day out there if you don't learn the facts in here." "Gobber, you can't scare us." "We've already trained dragons." "This book contains more than just training." "It's the key to unlocking a new world of dragons." "And I don't suppose you know who started it all, do you?" "I thought it had something to do with Bork the bold." "WeII-spotted, lass." "But before he was bold, he was known as Bork the Very, Very Unfortunate." " That's an... odd nickname." " Aye, but apt." "It seemed that everything Bork touched went wrong." "Bork was my great-great-great-grandfather." "But he started out as a shepherd." "But his flock got very small." "That fact is, Bork and dragons didn't seem to mix." "So he gave bIacksmithing a try and had a go at farming." "But he settled for the life of a fisherman." "And he used to say, "lf you see a dragon, kill on sight."" "You kids taught us that we could train a dragon." "But it was Bork who had the idea to classify them." "And what does Bork say is the first class of dragons?" "Oh, that's easy." "Stoker class." "Now according to the book, these hot-headed dragons are furious fire-breathers." "And when training a Terror, start with a very shiny object." "Oh, he's cute." "Cute?" "!" "Maybe on his own." "But Bork says if you get these little Terrors in a group, it's no picnic." "You see, Terrors are social creatures." "They love to hunt in packs." "Now, what about this brute?" "The Monstrous Nightmare." "You can see how this foul beast got his name." "Nary a Viking has tamed this fierce creature." "But you know what Bork used to say?" ""You faII down, you get right back on the dragon."" "I bet he didn't know that the Nightmare can set itself on fire." "And if there's one thing you don't want, it's an angry Nightmare." "That's why we tried a more gentle approach." "Instead of wrestling a Monstrous Nightmare, just give them a little respect." "A gentle hand on his snout." "Looks like you kids have made some breakthroughs." "All right, Fishlegs." "Why don't you tell us about your dragon?" "MeatIug's my GronckIe, and GronckIes are tough, rock-eating," " Boulder class dragons." " But how do you train a GronckIe?" "A GronckIe won't stay mad at you if you just feed him a little dragonnip." "Yeah, and like all dragons," "GronckIes are rumoured to have five stages of maturity." "The first stage is the egg." "Then the tiny teeth." "The short wing." "The broad wing." "And the last stage is the titan wing, which is extremely rare." "Rare, but a sight to behold." "Let's look at another from the boulder class." "The Whispering Death." "Just saying its name gives you the shivers." "Bork says the Whispering Death knows only one thing: killing!" "He burrows through the dirt and rock, attacking from below." "Their rotating teeth can bore through anything." "And these boulder class baddies are so wicked, they can breathe rings of fire!" "But even though these dragons have a fearsome reputation, it turns out they just love to be brushed." "With patience, any dragon can be trained." "Even this next batch:" "Fear class." "These dragons are silent, they're sneaky, they turn up when you least expect them." "If Fear class dragons are so sneaky, how did Bork find one?" "He did better than find one." "He found the lair of a ZippIeback." "Well, actually, it wasn't he who found it." "It was his trusted sheep, Willy." "And what do you know of a ZippIeback?" "Got two heads." "Twice the danger." "One head releases gas the other ignites it." "And if you feed both heads at once, they become one agreeable dragon." "That's right." "If you want to befriend a dragon, it's a good idea to start by feeding it." "And once they're fed, make sure you play with them." "You kids are full of good tips." "But what happens when you go from two heads to four?" "It's the Venus flytrap of dragons, the devious Snaptrapper!" "The book says that this wild beast has enticed many a Viking into its deadly trap, with its sweet smell of chocolate." "And like all dragons, the Snaptrapper sheds its scales." "And its claws." "But they all grow back." "With all those heads, Bork must have had four times the trouble." "Aye, that's a fact." "Until one day, Bork made an interesting discovery." "Snaptrappers Iove rain." "And they can't wait to play in the mud." "well, the Snaptrapper is incredible, but let's see what secrets we uncover with the next class of dragons." "The Sharp class." "These dragons have a generous dose of vanity, and spend a Iot of time preening." "My personal favourite is the Deadly Nadder." "Bork says that Nadders have the hottest fire in the dragon world." "We found the best way to train her was to approach her carefully, slowly moving around back toward her tail." "Her tail?" "You've gone mad." "It's full of poisonous spikes that can launch at will." "Yes, but if you move slowly enough, and you show her you're not a threat, she'll let you smooth her tail spikes down." "There's more to the Sharp class than just Nadders." "Let's look at what Bork wrote about the Timberjack." "This dragon attacks out of the sky with razor-sharp wings, and can slice through a forest of trees like a giant guillotine." "But those long wings of the Timberjack make it impossible for him" " to even scratch his back." " Yep, and if you scratch his itch, he's your friend forever." "Another brilliant survival tip." "A perfect opportunity to teach our new trainer about this class of dragons." "The tidal class." "These beasts live in the watery deep and they can out-swim the fastest ship." "Did Bork even know that the sea was full of dragons?" "Not at first." "But he soon found out that the open sea was no easier, because if there's one thing that sea dragons like to eat more than a fish it's a whole boatload of fish." "And after that first sighting, Bork called it a ScauIdron." "As we now know, that sea dragon fills itself up with water, then heats it in its giant cauIdron-Iike stomach." "One blast from that hot water, and you're finished." "We found out something surprising about ScauIdrons." "If you wanna train them, douse yourself with water." "Turns out they like anything that reminds them of home." "Stop it!" "Look at what also lurks in the deep." "It's the mighty Thunderdrum." "This beast moves through the water like a tornado, and is capable of delivering a sonic blast of pure dragon power." "The story goes that Bork got lost ice fishing, and he stumbled across a Thunderdrum nest." "That must have been quite a rude awakening, because when a Thunderdrum hatches from its shell, it makes a sound so loud it rattles the sky!" "Now, here's a class that might stump you." " What symbol is that?" " lt's a symbol for the Mystery class." "We don't really know how these guys work." "That's why they're a mystery." "is it a tree?" "is it a rock?" "No, it's the Changewing." "This strange dragon can disappear into any environment." "Bork noticed that Changewings are curious creatures." "And they display mimicking behaviour." "Whatever they see, they love to copy." "Changewings are known for their acid breath and their ability to hypnotise." "But finding one takes a keen eye." "Does being able to change colour mean their skin is softer?" "For some, yes." "And it makes them vulnerable to attack, so these dragons protect themselves in a strange way." "Like this beauty:" "The BoneKnapper." "This odd creature collects the bones of dead dragons and makes itself an unusual coat of armour." "The best way to deal with this brutal bag of bones is to subdue it" " with force and fear and firepower!" " Sure, right." " That's what you did, Gobber." " All right, all right, all right." "You give a BoneKnapper whatever it's looking for and it's just like an overgrown puppy dog." "Why don't we go on to the next class of dragons?" "finally, Strike class." "Every dragon in this class is characterised by blazing speed, vice-like jaw strength and extreme intelligence." "I give you the SkriII." "This elusive creature is highly secretive, and is known to ride lightning bolts." "Found only during electrical storms, it can shoot bursts of white fire." "If you get too close to a SkriII, your hair will stand on end." "Let's see what else is in the book." "The Night Fury." "Speed, unknown." "Size, unknown." "I guess this book really does need updating." "The unholy offspring of lightning and death itself." "So, Hiccup, how did you train a Night Fury?" "First I had to get his attention." "Then I needed to earn his trust." "Everyone wonders what it's like to fly." "And now, thanks to Toothless, we know." "These islands are full of dragons." "But I've never seen another Night Fury." "I have so many questions about him." "But I do know one thing." "ToothIess didn't just become my friend." "He became the friend who gave me my purpose." "He's quite the dragon, I'll grant you that." "So, now you see." "Everything we know about dragons started with one very unfortunate Viking, who had a hunger to learn more." "Over the years, curious Vikings like yourselves have updated the pages, and in time," "Bork of Dragons became Book of Dragons." "It's now a very big part of our Viking heritage." "So big, that Bork the Very, Very Unfortunate was soon renamed Bork the bold." " I bet you wish you knew him." " Well, I do know him." "The fact is, we all know him." "Thanks to the Book of Dragons." "And I guess one day new kids will know us by how we trained our dragons." "Aye, that they will." "But in the meantime, you kids can carry on where Bork left off." "Well, then I'd better finish these Night Fury pages." " There's still so much to Iearn." " Yeah!" "Like how fast toothless can go." "well, to be honest, I don't know his top speed, but..." "Somebody wants to find out, does he?" "OK." "Let's find out." "Last one to the peak has to clean the stables." "Hey, wait up!" "I gotta see this!" "To be young, wild and have most of my limbs again." "Oh, right!" "congratulations!" "Now you're on your way." "Our newest dragon trainer." "It's time to meet your first batch now." "Good luck!"

"##[Chorus Singing]" "[Tires Screeching]" "D'oh!" "[Screams]" "[Frog Croaks]" "[Thunderclap]" "[Male Voice] Noah, thou shalt build'st thyself an ark... measuring 300 cubits in length." "300 cubits, give or take." " [Thunderclap]" " Exactly 300!" "And thou shalt takest two of every creature" "Two creatures." " [Thunderclap]" " Two of every creature!" " Even stink beetles?" " Especially stink beetles." "[Thunderclap]" "Whoa, cool!" "God is so "in your face."" " Yeah." "He's my favorite fictional character." " Ooh." "It's so late." "You kids have to go to bed." "But the flood's only knee high." " At least let us watch till the midgets drown." " Yeah, Mom." "Come on." "You let us stay up to watch Troy McClure in such other Bible epics as..." "David Versus Super-Goliath and Suddenly, Last Supper." "Go, Lise." "Way to cite precedent." "Oh, all right." "You can stay up late tonight..." " but tomorrow everyone's going to bed at 5:00." " Whoo-hoo!" "Aw." "Those poor badgers are soaked." "Quiet." "God looks like he has something important to say." "[God] Go forth, Noah." "And remember... the key to salvation is" "You've seen the movie." "Now meet a real-life Noah." "Only this Noah has been accused of killing two of every animal." "Coming up next on A.M. Springfield." "[Gasps] Oh, my goodness." "That was a long movie." "It's time for school." "Let's go!" "Let's go!" "Uh, can't make it in today, Mr. Smithers." "I have smallpox." "Well, it wasrt wiped out in my house!" "Okay, delegates." "You leave tomorrow for the statewide Model U. N... so this is our last chance to bone up." "And bone we will." "[All Laughing]" " Lighten up, Lise." " Finland, let's see that native dance." " ## [Humming]" " Smile more." "Work that pelvis." "No, too much smile." "Sit down." "Roland, tell us about your natiors achievements." "Well, uh, I heard they sent a rocket to the sun once- at night." "And there was that submarine with the screen doors." "No, no, no, no, no." "Young man, you need to do some serious boning." "Oh, grow up, Lise." " Okay, Libya." "Exports." " Yes, sir, you American pig." "[Laughs] Nice touch." "Uh- [Clears Throat] Let's see." "Uh... the exports of Libya are numerous in amount." "One thing they export is corn." "Or, as the Indians call it, maize." "Another famous Indian was Crazy Horse." "In conclusion, Libya is a land of contrasts." "Thank you." "Ow." "I can't breathe." " Please stop him." " Oh, I'd like to, but I'm afraid he has diplomatic immunity." "Point of order." "If we want to learn anything, we must respect" " Point of"odor." Lisa stinks." " [All Laughing]" " Hey." "Leave her alone." " You leave her alone." " [All Shouting]" " You're the one who started it!" " [Shouting] - ## [Singing]" "Order." "Order." "Do you kids want to be like the real U. N... or do you just want to squabble and waste time?" "Have a great weekend, kids." "Be nice to the underprivileged countries." "Good luck, Ralphy." "If your nose starts bleeding, it means you're picking it too much." "Or not enough." "Okay, kids." "Otto's in charge." "Remember, Otto." "We're trusting you with our greatest natural resource:" "the school bus." ""Water bill, third notice." "Jury duty, third notice."" ""Mortgage bill-" Ooh. "Second notice."" ""Flancrest Enterprises"?" "Oops. [Chuckles] That's for me." "Flancrest Enterprises is my home business." "You liar." "You don't have a home business." "Why would you make up a lie like that?" "No." "It's true." "Maude and I sell religious hook rugs over the Internet." " Internet, eh?" " Yes, indeedy." "Making some good scratch too." " Scratch, eh?" " Yep." "Maude, eh?" "## [Whistling]" " Homer, what are you doing?" " No time to answer that, Marge." "I'm setting up a home office for my new business enterprise." "What business enterprise?" "Ever heard of a little thing called the Internet?" "Internet, eh?" "Oh, yeah." "Everybody's making money off the Internet except us." "We've fallen behind." "Way behind." " Is that my good butter?" " Can't discuss that now, Marge." "I have to write another delicious memo." "Mmm." "Memo." "##[Children Singing]" "Oh, this song is driving me crazy." "## [Tape Fast-Forwarding]" "## [Headphones:" "Children Singing]" " [Clicks]" " Man, I don't know why I bought this stupid tape." "[Grunts]" "Hey, Simpson." "Race ya." " First one to the front of the bus gets Martirs lunch money." " What?" " Go apple!" " Go orange!" "Go banana!" "[All Shouting]" "Make way for grapefruit." "Go grapefruit!" "[All Shouting]" "[Gasps] What the" "It burns!" "I can't see!" "[All Shouting]" "Stay calm, kids." "I need you to be my eyes." " [All Shouting]" " Okay." "Which way should I turn?" "[Squawking]" "[Children Shouting]" "[Squawking]" "[Shouting]" "[All Shouting]" "Go banana!" "Just hang tight, kids." "I'll swim for help." "What the- [Groans]" "Zeppelin rules!" "Zeppelin rules!" "[Children Groaning]" " [Gasping]" " I guess this is the end, Wendell." " He's Wendell." "I'm Lewis." " Whatever." "Just tell Wendell I said bye." "[All Screaming]" "Somebody help me!" "I think I'm getting swimmer's ear!" "[Gasps]" "[Reverse Indicator Beeping]" "[All Groaning]" "[Sobbing]" "This is all Lisa's fault." "She started the stupid U.N. club." "Hey!" "Martin seconded the motion." "It's entirely his fault." "People, people." "Let's not blame each other." " We all know this is Milhouse's fault." " Huh?" "Yeah!" "You and your stupid grapefruit almost got us killed!" "[All Shouting]" "[Horn Blows]" "What's everyone's problem?" "I'm glad we're stranded." "It'll be just like The Swiss Family Robinson, only with more cursing." "We're gonna live like kings." "Damn, hell, as kings." "Yahoo!" "[Chittering]" "And every night the monkey butlers will regale us with jungle stories." "How many monkey butlers will there be?" "One at first, but he'll train others." " Cool!" " Yeah!" "Good." "Let's get to work." "Me and Nelson will build the tree house." "Martin, draw up plans for a coconut radio... and, if possible, a coconut Nintendo system." " What about the rest of us?" " You guys gather food for the big feast tonight." "And maybe a little wine for the older kids." " Delicious wine?" " Exactly." "[Groans] Oh." "What am I gonna call my Internet company?" "All the good names are taken." "Oh, wait." "I've got it." "Flancrest Enterprises." " D'oh!" " What exactly is it your company does again?" "This industry moves so fast, it's really hard to tell." "That's why I need a name that's cutting edge... like CUTCO or Edgecom." "Interslice." "Come on, Marge." "You're good at these." "Help me out." "How about CompuGlobalHyperMeganet?" "Fine." "It's not important." "What really matters is my title." "I think I'll make myself..." "vice president." "No, wait." "Junior vice president." "[Rhone Rings]" "CompuGlobalHyperMeganet." "Junior vice president Homer Simpson speaking." "How may I direct your call?" "It's Patty." "[Horn Blows]" "Food patrol, we're all starved." "Let's see what you've got." "That's it?" "What happened to all the lobsters... mangoes and chewy, chewy cocoa beans?" "All we found were these oozing berries." "And they look pretty poisonous." "I "eated" the purple berries." "Ow." "[Groans]" "[Groaning]" "How are they, Ralph?" " Good?" " They taste like burning." "Okay." "Food patrol blew it." "Yeah?" "Well, your tree house looks kinda crummy too." "Kinda really crummy." "[Bart] Well, when monsoon season comes, you'll be glad it's there." "[Groans] No food, no shelter, no monkey butlers." "This island is a death hole." "We should've just swum for it like Otto." "[Groaning]" "Well, I'm done for." "[Groans] At least I'll leave a beautiful corpse." "Whoa!" "Oh!" "Thank the good dude, I'm saved!" " And we can go back for the kids too." " Hmm." "[Speaking Foreign Language]" "I think I'm gonna like it on this boat." "Run for your lives!" "Monster!" " Monster!" " [All Screaming]" " [Whimpers] - [Panting]" "There's no monster, you big scaredy." "[Singsongy] Scaredy got scared!" "Well, you'd be scared too if you saw a monster." " Nuh-uh." " Uh-huh." " Unlikely." " Likely." "Knock it off." "We gotta find a way to light a fire." "No problem." "We can use scaredy's glasses." "Hey." "What's he doir?" "What's that sound?" "There you go." "Good as new." "What's good as new?" "Who's talking?" "I'm so hungry I could eat at Arby's." " Oh, my gosh!" " Oh, wow!" " She really is hungry." " [Lisa] She's really hungry." " [Growling]" " It's the monster!" "No, it's not." "It's my tummy." "I mean stomach." "Gut." "Crap factory." "Wait a minute." "We had a cooler full of snacks on the bus." "Hey, yeah." "And I think I know how I can get it." "Hey!" "I need that to live." "[Grunts]" "[Screams]" "[Cackles]" "Oh!" "Does anyone here like food?" "[All Cheering]" "Stop!" "We may have to live on this food for a long time." "So no more till tomorrow." " But I'm hungry now." " Yeah." " Me too." " Yeah." "Who put the duchess of dork in charge?" "No one, but if we're gonna survive, we need rules and order." "Let's not forget what we learned in the U.N. club." " ## [Humming]" " Not now, Martin." "[Seagulls Squawking]" "[Sizzling]" " Who wants rations?" " [All] Me!" "Me!" "Mmm!" " I'm so hungry I could puke." " [All Gasp]" "Where'd all the food go?" "Mornir." "Is it time to eat?" "Looks like you already did." " What are you talkir about?" " You ate our food!" "Thanks a lot, Milhouse." "Now we're all gonna die because of you." "But I swear I didn't do it!" "[Burps]" "[Sniffs] Nacho cheese." "Get him!" "You wouldn't dare hurt me." "You forget that I have the glasses." "Yoink!" "Well, now that you've got everything you need, I'll just, you know... get out of your hair." "Not so fast, two eyes!" "Come on." "Let's slice him open and get our food back." "Wait!" "We're not savages." "We live in a society of law." "Milhouse has the right to a fair trial." "[All Groaning]" "Society blows." "[Typing]" "Oh, Captain Janeway." "Mmm!" "Lace:" "The Final Brassiere." "Oh, hurry up." "I'm a busy man." "[Slurping]" "[Groans] This high-speed modem is intolerably slow." "Hey." "What the" "Huh." "The Internet King." "I wonder ifhe can provide faster nudity." "Welcome to the Internet, my friend." "How can I help you?" "I'm interested in upgrading my 28.8 kilobaud Internet connection... to a 1.5 megabit fiber-optic T1 line." "Will you be able to provide an I.P. router... that's compatible with my token ring Ethernet LAN configuration?" "Can I have some money now?" "Uh, is this cage really necessary?" "No talking in the cage." "Court is now in session." "All rise." " Ha, ha." "Made you rise." " Your Honor... the defense calls its first and only witness:" "Milhouse Van Houten." " Oh, wow!" "I can't believe it." " [Chattering]" "Milhouse, did you steal the food?" "Nuh-uh." "No way." "Could anyone else have taken it?" "Well, I guess you could have." "Milhouse, I am defending you." "Oh." "Sorry." "I'm just saying, it was either you or the monster." "Monster?" "[Scoffs] Oh, please." "I remind you." "We are not here to debate the existence of monsters." "[All Grumbling]" "The defense has just one more question." "Did any one of you actually see Milhouse eat the food?" " I rest my case." " Prosecutor, your witness." "You liar!" "You did it, you lying jerk!" "Take that!" "You did it!" "Objection!" "He's not asking any questions." "Hmm." "I'm gonna allow this." " [Grunting]" " Ow." "Ow." "Ooh." "Prosecution rests." "After careful deliberation... it's my opinion that Milhouse probably did eat the food... but since there's no proof, I must find him not guilty." " All right!" " [All Grumbling]" "But he ate our food!" " The law has spoken." " Ah, sucks to the law. [Grunts]" "[Groans]" "Stop!" "Leave Milhouse alone." "Help me out here, Bart." "I don't know, Lise." "To be honest, that verdict made me pretty angry." "Bart's with us, law girl." "Step aside." " [Groans]" " Hey, man." "Leave my sister alone!" "Oh, so you're one of them." "So be it." "Kill the dorks!" " Bash their butts!" " Kick their shins!" "[Together] Kill the dorks!" "Bash their butts!" "Run away!" "The hunt is on." "Oh, they have the Internet on computers now." "Homer, Bill Gates is here." "Bill Gates?" "Billionaire computer nerd Bill Gates?" "Oh, my God." "Oh, my God." "Get out of sight, Marge." " I don't want this to look like a two-bit operation." " [Groans]" " Mr. Simpson?" " You don't look so rich." "Don't let the haircut fool you." "I'm exceedingly wealthy." "Get a load of the bowl job, Marge." "Your Internet ad was brought to my attention... but I can't figure out what, if anything, CompuGlobalHyperMeganet does." "So, rather than risk competing with you, I've decided simply to buy you out." "This is it, Marge." "I poured my heart and soul into this business... and now it's finally paying off." "We're rich!" "Richer than astronauts!" "Homer, quiet!" "You'll queer the deal." "Oh." "Right." "I reluctantly accept your proposal." "Well, everyone always does." " Buy him out, boys." " [Chuckles]" "Yeah." " [Grunts]" " Hey." "What the hell's going on?" "Oh, I didn't get rich by writing a lot of checks." "[Cackling]" "[Whooping]" " [All Whooping]" " Meow." "[Whooping Continues]" "[All Panting]" "[Groans] I can't go on." "You two go ahead." "And carry me with you." " [Groans]" " Oh, come on, man." "Hurry!" "They're catching up!" "Here, Milhouse." "You go first." "Okay." "Now throw the vine back." " There's no time." " [Gasps]" "[Whooping]" "[Grunts]" "Look." "We can hide in that cave." "[All Panting]" "[Lisa] We should be safe in here." "[Nelson] They're trapped in the cave." "Move in for the kill." "Oh, figs." "[Whooping]" "Stop!" "You are in violation of the Model U.N. charter!" "Uh, that's right." "The U.N. doesn't look too kindly on" " The monster!" " [Growls]" "[All Screaming]" "Your monster appears to be nothing but a run-of-the-mill wild boar." "Hey." "Look at his tusk." "So the boar ate our food." "Oh." "Sorry about that whole trying to kill you thing." "Yeah." "Well, you should be!" "I only stole two sandwiches and a bag of Doritos." "Hey." "If a boar can survive here, there must be a source of food." "Look." "He's licking the slime off that rock." "That's what he's been eating." "Slime!" "And there's enough slime for all of us." "We're saved!" "All that slime made this boar extra tender." "More snout anyone?" "Mmm!" "Mmm!" "How's your dinner, Lise?" "Ah, shut up." "Savages." "[Man Narrating] So the children learned to function as a society." "And eventually, they were rescued by... oh, let's say Moe." " [Murmuring]" " Shh!"

"Man's voice:" "SOLVING THE FOLLOWING RIDDLE" "WILL REVEAL THE AWFUL SECRET BEHIND THE UNIVERSE," "ASSUMING YOU DO NOT GO UTTERLY MAD IN THE ATTEMPT." "SAY YOU HAVE AN AX" " JUST A CHEAP ONE FROM HOME DEPOT." " (chopping)" " ON ONE BITTER WINTER DAY" " YOU USE SAID AX TO BEHEAD A MAN." " (grunting)" "DON'T WORRY-- THE MAN'S ALREADY DEAD." "MAYBE YOU SHOULD WORRY, 'CAUSE YOU'RE THE ONE WHO SHOT HIM." "HE'D BEEN A BIG TWITCHY GUY" "WITH VEINED SKIN STRETCHED OVER SWOLLEN BICEPS," "TATTOO OF A SWASTIKA ON HIS TONGUE." "AND YOU'RE CHOPPING OFF HIS HEAD BECAUSE" "EVEN WITH EIGHT BULLET HOLES IN HIM," "YOU'RE PRETTY SURE HE'S ABOUT TO SPRING BACK TO HIS FEET" "AND EAT THE LOOK OF TERROR RIGHT OFF YOUR FACE." "YOU NOW HAVE A BROKEN AX." " SO YOU GO TO THE HARDWARE STORE..." " (bell jingles) ...EXPLAINING AWAY THE DARK REDDISH STAINS ON THE HANDLE AS BARBEQUE SAUCE." " (rain pattering)" " THE REPAIRED AX SITS UNDISTURBED IN YOUR HOUSE" " UNTIL THE NEXT SPRING WHEN ONE RAINY MORNING... - (chittering)" "SO YOU GRAB YOUR TRUSTY AX AND CHOP THE THING INTO SEVERAL PIECES." " (clangs)" " ON THE LAST BLOW, HOWEVER..." "OF COURSE A CHIPPED HEAD MEANS YET ANOTHER TRIP TO THE HARDWARE STORE." "AS SOON AS YOU GET HOME WITH YOUR NEWLY-HEADED AX THOUGH... (groaning)" "YOU MEET THE REANIMATED BODY OF THE GUY YOU BEHEADED LAST YEAR," "ONLY HE'S GOT A NEW HEAD STITCHED ON WITH WHAT LOOKS LIKE" "PLASTIC WEED-TRIMMER LINE AND WEARS THAT UNIQUE EXPRESSION" "OF YOU'RE-THE-MAN-WHO-KILLED- ME-LAST-WINTER RESENTMENT" "THAT ONE SO RARELY ENCOUNTERS IN EVERYDAY LIFE." "SO YOU BRANDISH YOUR AX." "(raspy) THAT'S THE AX THAT SLAYED ME." "Man's voice:" "IS HE RIGHT?" "(dramatic music playing)" "(crickets chirping)" "(distant barking)" "(squeaking)" "Man's voice:" "MY NAME IS DAVID WONG." "I ONCE SAW A MAN'S KIDNEY GROW TENTACLES," "TEAR ITSELF OUT OF A RAGGED HOLE IN HIS BACK" "AND GO SLAPPING ACROSS MY KITCHEN FLOOR." "BUT THAT'S ANOTHER STORY." "(inhales deeply, gasps)" "MORE SIDE EFFECTS." "IT'S ALWAYS LIKE THIS WHEN I'M ON THE SAUCE." " I DOSED SIX HOURS AGO." " (plate clinks)" "MY COUNT HAD 5,829 GRAINS OF RICE ON HER PLATE." "THE RICE WAS GROWN IN ARKANSAS." "THE GUY WHO RAN" "THE JOHN DEERE HARVESTER WAS NICKNAMED COOTER." "(squeaking)" "I'M NOT A GENIUS." "I'M NOT A PSYCHIC EITHER." "JUST SIDE EFFECTS, THAT'S ALL." "(man's voice, distorted) DAVID WONG?" "(normal voice) DAVID WONG?" "WHAT, DID YOU DOZE OFF THERE?" "HEY, YOU'RE-- YOU'RE ARNIE, RIGHT?" "ARNIE BLONDESTONE." "SORRY I'M LATE." "YOU DON'T LOOK ASIAN, MR. WONG." "I'M NOT." "I WAS BORN RIGHT HERE." "HAD MY LAST NAME CHANGED THOUGH." "THOUGHT IT'D MAKE ME HARDER TO FIND." "YOU KNOW THAT WONG IS THE MOST COMMON SURNAME IN THE WORLD?" "MMM." "IS YOUR FAMILY STILL AROUND?" "NO, I WAS ADOPTED." "I NEVER KNEW MY REAL DAD." "YOU COULD BE MY DAD FOR ALL I KNOW." "ARE YOU MY DAD?" "UH... (chuckles)" "I DON'T THINK SO, NO." "ANYWAY, MY ADOPTED FAMILY MOVED AWAY." "I WON'T TELL YOU WHERE THEY WENT, BUT..." "GET OUT YOUR PEN, 'CAUSE YOU'RE GONNA WANNA WRITE THIS DOWN." "MY BIOLOGICAL MOM, SHE WAS INSTITUTIONALIZED." "MUST'VE BEEN HARD." "SHE WAS A STRUNG-OUT, CRANK-ADDICTED CANNIBAL," "DABBLED IN VAMPIRISM AND NECROMANCY." "BLEW HER WELFARE CHECK EVERY MONTH ON BLACK CANDLES." "REALLY?" "AND I THOUGHT MY MOM WAS BAD" "BECAUSE SHE WOULDN'T LET ME WATCH "SPACE GHOST."" " YOU PULLING MY LEG?" " NO, THIS IS JUST WHAT I DO WHEN I GET NERVOUS." "UM, SHE WAS BIPOLAR, THAT'S ALL." "COULDN'T KEEP A HOUSE." "BUT ISN'T THE OTHER STORY BETTER THOUGH?" " I THINK YOU SHOULD USE THAT." " I THOUGHT YOU WANTED" "TO GET THE TRUTH OUT, YOUR SIDE OF IT." "IF NOT, WHAT ARE WE EVEN DOING HERE, MR. WONG?" "YOU'RE RIGHT." "SORRY." "SO YOU GUYS ARE-- YOU'RE WHAT?" "YOU'RE SOME KIND OF SPIRITUALISTS?" "EXORCISTS?" "SOMETHING LIKE THAT?" "Dave's voice:" "I COULD BLOW YOUR WORLD AWAY, ARNIE." "IF I SHOW YOU WHAT'S IN THIS CONTAINER," "YOU'LL NEVER FEEL AT ONE WITH THE HUMAN RACE" "UNTIL THE DAY YOU DIE." "YOU EVER SHIT YOURSELF, ARNIE?" "'CAUSE YOU WOULD'VE IF YOU'D BEEN THERE LAST NIGHT." " (cellphone ringing) - (music playing on TV)" "Man on TV:" "He's a seeker of truth in an age of fear." " (man #2 whispers) Marconi." " Man:" "He is willing to face down" " the legions of evil." " Man #2:" "Marconi." "Man:" "He will help his fellow man to find a path into the light." "Man #2:" "Marconi." "(cellphone rings)" "(beeps)" " HELLO?" " Hey, this is John." "Your pimp says bring the crack shipment tonight or he'll be forced to stick you." "Meet him where we buried the Korean whore-- the one without the goatee." "David's voice:" "THAT WAS JOHN'S CODE." "IT MEANT "BRING YOUR GEAR AND COME TO MY PLACE" "AS SOON AS YOU CAN." "IT'S IMPORTANT."" "JOHN, IT'S 3:00 IN THE MORNING, MAN." "John:" "Oh, and don't forget-- tomorrow's the day we kill the president." " JOHN." " (beeps)" "David's voice:" "THAT LAST PART WAS CODE" " FOR "STOP AND PICK ME UP SOME BEER ON THE WAY." - (beeps)" " (crickets chirping) - (knocking)" "DAVE." "COME IN." "DAVE, THIS IS SHELLY." "SHE NEEDS OUR HELP." "SO, SHELLY, TELL US YOUR STORY." "IT'S MY BOYFRIEND." "HE WON'T LEAVE ME ALONE." "HE'S BEEN HARASSING ME FOR THE PAST WEEK." "I'M TERRIFIED TO GO HOME." " MISS..." " MORRIS." "MISS MORRIS," "I'D STRONGLY RECOMMEND A WOMEN'S SHELTER." "THEY CAN HELP YOU GET" " A RESTRAINING ORDER" " MY BOYFRIEND..." "HAS BEEN DEAD FOR TWO MONTHS." "I DIDN'T KNOW WHERE ELSE TO GO." "I HEARD THROUGH A FRIEND THAT YOU GUYS HANDLE..." "UNUSUAL PROBLEMS." "SHELLY, WHEN HE COMES, YOU CAN SEE HIM?" "YES, AND I CAN HEAR HIM." " HE HITS YOU?" " MAN, WHAT A DICK!" "SHELLY, IN OUR EXPERIENCE," "SPIRITUAL BEINGS THAT CAN MANIPULATE OBJECTS" "IN THE PHYSICAL WORLD ARE RARE." "UH, LOOK, MISS MORRIS, I REALLY DON'T THINK" "I TOLD HER THAT WE'D LOOK INTO THIS TONIGHT." "I THOUGHT THAT MAYBE YOU AND I COULD GO OVER THERE" "AND SHOW THIS BASTARD WHAT'S WHAT." "John:" "SO WHERE DO YOU SEE HIM MOSTLY?" "IN THE BASEMENT." "AND ONCE IN THE BATHROOM WHEN I WAS ON THE TOILET," " HE STUCK HIS HAND THROUGH THE SEAT ONCE." " OKAY, JUST" "JUST SHOW US THE BASEMENT DOOR." "IT'S THAT WAY." "(sighs)" " (clicks)" " WELL... (clears throat)" " HE'S NOT HERE." " BIG SURPRISE." "SHE SEEMS LIKE A NICE GIRL, DOESN'T SHE?" "SHE REMINDS ME OF AMBER-- AMY'S FRIEND." "WHEN SHE CAME TO MY DOOR TONIGHT I ACTUALLY THOUGHT IT WAS HER FOR A SECOND." "OH, BY THE WAY, DAVE, I WANTED TO THANK YOU FOR COMING ALONG." "I'M NOT SAYING I'M GONNA TAKE ADVANTAGE OF HER DISTRESS OR ANYTHING, BUT..." " (clicks)" " David:" "AW, JEEZ." "OOH." "GUY MUST'VE BEEN A HUNTER." "(thuds)" "WAIT." "JOHN." "DID I HEAR YOU SAY THAT YOU THOUGHT THAT SHE LOOKED LIKE AMBER?" " YEAH." " JOHN, AMBER'S ALMOST AS TALL AS ME." "LIKE, JUST UNDER SIX FEET, BLONDE HAIR, KINDA TOP-HEAVY." "YEAH, I KNOW." "SHE'S CUTE AS HELL, RIGHT?" "YEAH, AND YOU THINK THAT SHELLY LOOKS LIKE HER?" " THE GIRL SITTING UPSTAIRS?" " YEAH." "JOHN, SHELLY'S SHORT." "SHORT WITH DARK HAIR," "BLUE EYES." "GOD DAMN IT." "I KNEW SHE WAS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE." "(sighs)" "UH, SHELLY." "JOHN AND I ARE HAVING A BIT OF A PROBLEM HERE." "WE'RE BOTH SEEING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT VERSIONS OF YOU." "NOW JOHN HERE HAS EYESIGHT PROBLEMS" "'CAUSE OF HIS CONSTANT MASTURBATION, BUT I DON'T THINK- (hissing) - (guys scream)" "(whimpering)" "OH!" "GOD!" "AH!" "OH!" "AH!" "AH!" "OH." " THAT DOOR CANNOT BE OPENED!" " NO." "THEY LOVE TO PLAY GAMES, DON'T THEY?" " IT'S ALL THEY HAVE TIME FOR." " (thudding)" "(chitters)" "(gasps)" "(raspy breathing)" "(roars)" "(grunting)" "YOU DISAPPOINT ME." "ALL THESE YEARS WE'VE DUELED." "YOU WILL NEVER DEFEAT ME, MARCONI." "WAIT, DR. ALBERT MARCONI?" "THE GUY WHO HOSTS" "THE MAGICAL MYSTERY SHOW ON THE CULTURE CHANNEL?" "DUMBASS." "MARCONI?" "MARCONI'S LIKE 50 YEARS OLD." "THEY GUY'S GOT WHITE HAIR." "(laughs)" "WE'RE NOT YOUR NEMESIS." "OKAY, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT" " IF WE CAN GET YOU IN TOUCH WITH MARCONI" "SO YOU TWO CAN WORK OUT YOUR LITTLE DIFFERENCES, WILL YOU RELEASE US?" " YOU LIE!" " NO NO NO, WE'RE IN THE SAME BUSINESS." " WE GOT A DIRECT LINE." "HERE." " (breathing heavily)" "(beeps)" "(crowd chanting) MARCONI!" "MARCONI!" "MARCONI!" "MARCONI!" "MARCONI!" " MONSIEUR?" " (chanting continues)" "(cellphone ringing)" " YES?" " S'IL VOUS PLAIT." "Man on TV:" "...unseen forces swirling around us," " willing to face down the legions of evil..." " YES." "...and helping his fellow man to find the path from darkness into the light." "From sold-out engagements in Rome, Tel Aviv," " Madison Square Garden and Las Vegas..." " SIR." " HELLO, DOCTOR." " (monster breathing heavily)" "UH, YEAH, JOHN IS FEELING BETTER." "THANK YOU FOR ASKING." "I'M AFRAID WE HAVE A SITUATION 53 HERE." "MM-HMM." "YEAH, WOULD YOU BE WILLING TO SPEAK DIRECTLY TO THE MANIFESTATION?" "OKAY, YEAH, I WILL." "WE HAVE A DEAL?" "(squishes)" "SO WE MEET AGAIN, MARCONI." "YOU THOUGHT-- (roars)" "DAMN." "HE'S GOOD." "(chanting) MARCONI." "MARCONI." "(humphs)" " MARCONI." "MARCONI. (cheers - (clears throat)" "Arnie:" "SPIRITUALISTS?" "EXORCISTS?" "YOU GUYS ALREADY HAVE A BIT OF A FOLLOWING THOUGH, DON'T YA?" "I FOUND A COUPLE OF DISCUSSION BOARDS ON THE WEB" "DEVOTED TO YOU AND YOUR FRIEND" "AND YOUR..." "HOBBY, I GUESS." "David's voice:" "OKAY, I'M NOT FARTING AROUND." "YOU HAVE 83¢ IN YOUR FRONT POCKET, ARNIE" "THREE QUARTERS, A NICKEL, THREE PENNIES." "THE PENNIES ARE DATED 1983, 1993 AND 1999." " (chuckles) - (coins jingle)" "(chuckles, clicks tongue)" "WELL, I'LL BE DAMNED." "THAT'S A NEAT TRICK, MR. WONG." "IF YOU FLIP THE NICKEL 10 TIMES, YOU'LL GET HEADS," "HEADS, TAILS, HEADS, TAILS, TAILS, TAILS, HEADS, TAILS, TAILS." "I DON'T THINK I WANNA TAKE THE TIME TO DO THAT." "LAST NIGHT YOU HAD A DREAM, ARNIE." "YOU DREAMT YOU WERE BEING CHASED THROUGH THE FOREST BY YOUR MOTHER." "SHE WAS LASHING YOU WITH A WHIP" "MADE OF KNOTTED PENISES." "David's voice:" "THAT'S RIGHT, ARNIE." "EVERYTHING YOU KNOW IS WRONG." "YOU'VE GOT MY ATTENTION, MR. WONG." "David:" "OH, IT GETS BETTER." "A LOT BETTER." "David's voice:" "BULLSHIT." "WHAT IT GETS IS WORSE." "A LOT WORSE." "IT STARTED JUST A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO." "WE WERE JUST A YEAR OR TWO OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL," " JUST KIDS." " (cheering, applause)" "SO THAT FRIEND OF MINE JOHN," "HE HAD A BAND." "I ONCE KNEW A MAN" "ACTUALLY, I MADE THAT UP." "ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR!" "(rock music playing) ♪ MY MELON SOUL ♪ CAMEL HOLOCAUST ♪ CRUSHED BY YOUR GALLAGHER OF APATHY ♪ ♪ CAMEL HOLOCAUST" "♪ THERE'S A WOLF BEHIND YOU!" "♪ CAMEL HOLOCAUST ♪ NO WAIT, IT'S JUST A DOG ♪ ♪ CAMEL HOLOCAUST ♪ HAIR!" "HAIR!" "♪ HAIR!" "HAIR!" "♪ ♪ MY HAT SMELLS LIKE LUBRICANT ♪ ♪ CAMEL HOLOCAUST ♪ I DON'T WANT TO TOUCH IT... ♪" "David:" "TELLING THE STORY NOW, I'M TEMPTED TO SAY SOMETHING LIKE," ""WHO WOULD'VE THOUGHT MY FRIEND JOHN WOULD HELP" "BRING ABOUT THE END OF THE WORLD?"" "♪ HAIR!" "HAIR!" "♪ HAIR!" "HAIR!" "♪ ♪ HAIR!" "HAIR!" "(cheering, applause)" " HEY, FRED." " HEY." "HERE'S TO ALL OF THE KISSES I'VE SNATCHED" "AND VICE-VERSA." " AMEN." " (music playing)" " (boy speaks)" " Girl:" "JUSTIN." "GIRL, WHAT YOU THINKING?" " JUSTIN, PLEASE!" " GET YOUR HAND OFF ME." "PLEASE GIVE IT BACK TO ME, JUSTIN." " (laughing)" " PLEASE?" "(distorted) PLEASE GIVE IT BACK TO ME, JUSTIN." " Justin:" "GET YOUR HAND OFF ME, GIRL." " Girl:" "NO!" "(Justin laughs)" "COULD I HAVE THAT BACK, PLEASE?" "(squeaking)" "UMM, HEY, YOU'RE-- YOU'RE AMY, RIGHT?" "UM..." "DO YOU WANT A BEER?" "NO, MY DOG JUST..." "BIT SOME JAMAICAN GUY." "I'VE GOT TO GO FIND HIM." "MAN, MY UNCLE LOST A FOOT IN HIS RIDING MOWER." "SAYS YOU CAN STILL FEEL IT." "WHAT'S THAT" " WHAT'S THAT CALLED?" "FANTASY LEG SITUATION OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT?" "IT'S CALLED PHANTOM LIMB SYNDROME," "AND ALL AMPUTEES GET IT AND IT GOES AWAY." "ASSHOLE." "(music continues)" "GOOD ONE, FRED." "(man laughing) I'M FLOATING, MAN." " AND THAT'S REAL MAGIC, MAN." " WHAT'S UP?" "IS THERE SOME GUY EXPOSING HIMSELF OVER THERE?" "OH MY GOD, THAT GUY JUST LEVITATED..." " RIGHT OFF THE GROUND." " HOW HIGH?" " WOW." " OOH." "YOU GOTTA LOVE THE SKEPTIC, MAN." "LEMME GUESS" "ABOUT SIX INCHES ABOVE THE GRASS, RIGHT?" "BALDUCCI LEVITATION?" "LET'S SEE." "WHAT CAN I DO TO IMPRESS MR. SKEPTIC MAN HERE?" "AH, LOOK AT THERE." "YOU FORGOT TO WASH BEHIND YOUR EARS THERE, DIDN'T YA?" "IT'S A QUARTER, RIGHT?" " (chuckles) - (chitters)" "WELL, THE BUG'S A NICE TOUCH." " (blows)" " OH." "DO YOU DREAM, MAN?" "I INTERPRET DREAMS..." "FOR A BEER." "WELL, I DON'T HAVE ANY BEER," "SO I GUESS I'M OUT OF LUCK." "I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I'LL DO, MR. SKEPTIC MAN." "I'LL DO IT LIKE DANIEL IN THE OLD TESTAMENT." "I'LL TELL YOU THE LAST DREAM THAT YOU HAD" "AND THEN I'LL BREAK DOWN IT'S MEANING FOR YA." "AND IF I'M RIGHT, YOU OWE ME A BEER." "OKAY, MAN?" "SURE. (sighs)" "I MEAN, YOU'VE OBVIOUSLY BEEN BLESSED WITH SUPERNATURAL GIFTS." "WHAT BETTER WAY TO USE THEM THAN TO FISH FOR FREE BEER AT PARTIES?" "YOU HAD THIS ONE" "EARLY THIS MORNING" "IN THE MIDDLE OF THE THUNDERSTORM." "AND IN THE DREAM, YOU WERE BACK" "WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND TINA." "David's voice:" "WHOA." "HOW'D HE KNOW THAT?" "AND YOU COME HOME AND SHE'S THERE" "WITH THIS BIG HONKING PILE OF DYNAMITE" "AND ONE OF THEM CARTOON PLUNGER DETONATORS," "READY TO BLOW." "AND YOU SAY, "WHAT YOU DOING?"" "(whispers) AND SHE SAYS, "THIS," AND BOOM." "YOUR EYES SNAP OPEN" "AND THE EXPLOSION AT THE END OF THE DREAM" "BECOME THE CLAP OF THUNDER OUTSIDE OF YOUR WINDOW." "(chuckles)" "SO TELL ME, MAN-- AM I CLOSE?" "David's voice:" "HOLY SHIT." "OKAY." "(chuckles)" "YOU MADE A LUCKY GUESS." "YOU SEE?" "YOU GOTTA ASK YOURSELF, MAN" "YOU GOTTA BE REALLY BRAVE TO ASK YOURSELF THE SCARY QUESTIONS." "HOW DID YOUR MIND KNOW, DAVID," " THAT THE THUNDER WAS COMING?" " HOW'D YOU KNOW MY" "THE THUNDER CAME RIGHT AS SHE HIT THE DETONATOR AT THE END OF YOUR DREAM." "YOUR MIND STARTED THE DREAM 30 SECONDS BEFORE THE THUNDER." "NOW HOW DID THE MIND KNOW THAT THE THUNDER WAS COMING?" "HMM?" "(chuckles)" "BECAUSE..." "TIME IS AN OCEAN... (whispering) NOT A GARDEN HOSE." "SPACE IS A PUFF OF SMOKE, A WISP OF CLOUD." "(chuckles)" "YOUR MIND IS A FLYING CORN SNAKE," "HOVERING THROUGH ALL THE POSSIBILITIES." "(chuckles)" "WHATEVER." "YOU WANT TO KNOW WHERE YOUR PAPA REALLY WAS" "WHEN YOU WERE IN HOSPITAL WITH BROKE LEG?" "DO YOU WANT ME TO TELL YOU THE NAME OF YOUR SOULMATE?" "OR HOW SHE'LL DIE?" "(music continues)" "DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHEN THE FIRST NUCLEAR BOMB WILL HIT AMERICAN SOIL?" "OR IN WHICH CITY?" "(laughs)" "HEY, MAN!" "YOU OWE ME A BEER, MAN!" "(cheers, applause)" "(music fades)" "(crowd chants) THREE ARM SALLY!" "THREE ARM SALLY!" " (panting)" " OH." "WHERE'D YOU COME FROM?" "(clicks tongue)" " GOOD DOG." " (whines)" " (whimpers)" " OH." "HELP YOURSELF." " (whimpers) - (chuckles)" "OKAY, BARK LEE," "YOU AND ME'LL GO VISIT AMY," "SEE IF WE CAN'T GET BACK IN HER GOOD GRACES." "(engine starts)" "(coughs)" "(chittering)" "(cellphone ringing)" " (beeps)" " JOHN, WHAT'S GOING ON?" "I can't get out of my apartment." " WHAT?" " I'm scared, Dave." "I mean it." "It-- it can't be real." "It can't." "The way that it moves, the way it's made-- this is not a product of any kind of evolution or anything, but it still managed to bite me." " WHAT?" " Can you come over?" " YEAH, I'LL BE THERE IN 12 MINUTES." " (beeps)" " (yelps, whines)" " OH!" "(sighs)" "(crickets chirping)" "JOHN?" "(creaks)" "JOHN?" "JOHN." "JOHN, I'M GONNA CALL THE POLICE." " (grunts)" " OH!" "IT ALMOST KILLED YOU!" "YOU'RE A FUCKING IDIOT." "YOU KNOW THAT?" " (whimpers)" " NOW WE'RE BOTH GONNA DIE!" " YOU READY?" "GO!" " YEAH." "AHH." "AHH!" "AHH." "JOHN?" "(mouths)" " (whispering) DO NOT MOVE." " WHAT?" "I KNOW YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME, BUT WHEN YOU TURN AROUND, YOU WILL." "(panting) DON'T SCREAM." "IF YOU SCREAM, YOU'RE DEAD." "NOW, VERY SLOWLY, TURN AROUND." "THERE!" "IT MOVED!" "JOHN, YOU CAN EITHER COME WITH ME TO THE HOSPITAL" "OR I'M GONNA CALL AN AMBULANCE, ALL RIGHT?" "BUT I'M NOT GONNA JUST STAND AROUND" " IN YOUR APARTMENT WHILE YOU-- - (pants)" "JOHN, GO!" "(whimpering)" " (crashes) - (bottles clatter)" "(dog yapping)" "(chittering)" "GET IN THE CAR." "(metal clanking)" " WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME WHAT THIS IS?" " YOU DON'T WANT TO TOUCH THAT." "YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE COME HERE." " YOU CALLED ME." "YOU BEGGED ME." " WHAT?" "I DID?" " WHEN?" " JUST TELL ME WHAT THIS STUFF IS, JOHN." "THEY'RE GONNA ASK ME, SO JUST TELL ME BEFORE YOU FALL ASLEEP." "(sighs) ALL RIGHT, I REMEMBER NOW." "I WAS" " I REMEMBER CALLING YOU." "IT'S HARD, OKAY, 'CAUSE EVERYTHING'S RUNNING TOGETHER." "I KEPT CALLING YOU." "I KEPT CALLING AND CALLING AND CALLING." "(laughs) I BET I CALLED YOU LIKE 20 TIMES." "YOU KEPT GETTING ALL WEIRD ON ME." "YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK?" "YOU'RE GONNA BE GETTING PHONE CALLS FROM ME" "FOR THE NEXT EIGHT OR NINE YEARS" " ALL FROM TONIGHT." "I COULDN'T HELP IT." "I COULDN'T GET ORIENTED." "IT WAS LIKE I KEPT SLIPPING OUT OF TIME." "(woofs)" " (keys jingle)" " NO, WAIT." "WHERE ARE WE GONNA GO?" " EMERGENCY ROOM, JOHN." " WHAT?" "NO." "NO." "NO." "YEAH." "I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO, ALL RIGHT?" "I'M NOT GONNA PLAY THIS GAME WITH YOU." "HEY, LET'S GO TO YOUR PLACE OR SOMETHING." "ANY PLACE BUT HERE." "SOMEPLACE SAFE." "David:" "SO YOU DON'T KNOW THE NAME OF THE DRUG?" "ROBERT CALLED IT "THE SOY SAUCE," BUT NOW I'M THINKING" "THAT WAS JUST THE NICKNAME." "IT'S NOT ACTUALLY SOY SAUCE." " WAIT" " ROBERT?" " THE GUY WITH" "OH, RIGHT YEAH, THE FAKE MAGICAL JAMAICAN." " WHAT WAS HIS LAST NAME?" " MARLEY." "AH." "OF COURSE." "ROBERT MARLEY." "AND THAT GUY'S THE ONE WHO GAVE YOU THE" "WE WERE IN THE ONE BALL PARKING LOT, RIGHT?" "JUST PASSING AROUND A JOINT." "THAT JAMAICAN GUY..." "HE PULLS OUT THIS SAUCE AND GOES," "(Jamaican accent) "IT BE OPENING DOORS TO OTHER WORLDS, MAN."" " (laughs) - (cellphone ringing)" "DID ANYONE ELSE TAKE IT?" "THAT STUFF, DAVE," "I'M REMEMBERING THINGS THAT HAVEN'T HAPPENED YET." " I MEAN THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN." " JOHN, ANSWER MY QUESTION." " DID ANYONE ELSE TAKE THE SAUCE?" " (ringing stops)" "(whispering) I DON'T KNOW!" "THAT'S WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY!" "WE WENT TO ROBERT'S TRAILER-- (sighs)" "ANDY AND THOSE GUYS, THEY DIDN'T WANT TO COME." "I THINK THEY GOT FREAKED OUT WHEN THEY SAW A NEEDLE COME OUT." "AND YOU STILL ACTUALLY TRIED THAT SHIT?" "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" "HOW COULD I NOT?" " (cellphone ringing)" " DAVE, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE," "ANSWER YOUR PHONE OR JUST TURN IT OFF." "OKAY, ALL RIGHT." " YEAH?" " John:" "Dave?" "It's me." " IS THIS A RECORDING?" " What?" "No." "Look, I don't know if we've talked tonight but we don't have much time." "I think I called you and told you to come here." "If so, don't do it." "If I haven't called, then obviously you shouldn't- just stay away regardless." " WHO IS THIS?" "It's John." "Can you hear me?" "(whispering) I CAN HEAR YOU AND I CAN SEE YOU." "YOU'RE SITTING RIGHT HERE NEXT TO ME." "Well, then just talk to me in person then." "Oh wait, do I look like I'm injured in any way?" " WHAT?" " Shh." "I'm sorry, I gotta go." " Say hello to me." " (beeps)" "WAS THAT ME?" "IT WAS ME, WASN'T IT?" "I'M SORRY, DAVE." "NO, I REALLY AM." "I'M SORRY FOR MESSING UP YOUR SLEEP CYCLE." " COME ON, GET IN THE CAR." " I'M SORRY FOR EVERYTHING THAT'S GONNA HAPPEN." "ALL THE PEOPLE THAT ARE GONNA... (sighs) EXPLODE." "David:" "JOHN." "JOHN, WAKE UP." "HE'S STILL BREATHING." "(rattles)" "FUCK IT." " (sniffles) - (dialing)" "(ringing)" "Man:" "Saint Dom's." "UH, HI." "I NEED A PRIEST." "WELL, THIS IS FATHER SHELNUT." "WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?" "DO YOU..." "HAVE ANY EXPERIENCE WITH, LIKE..." "DEMONISM?" "Like hauntings, possessions and all that?" "Look, people say they see things or hear voices in their head, we generally refer them to a counselor." "NO NO NO." "NO NO." "I'M NOT CRAZY." " OTHER PEOPLE HAVE" " No, I didn't mean to imply that." "WHY DON'T YOU COME TALK TO ME?" "AND THEN EVEN IF YOU NEED TO SEE A PROFESSIONAL," "I'VE GOT A BROTHER-IN-LAW WHO'S REAL GOOD." " WHAT DO YOU THINK IT'S LIKE, FATHER?" " What's what like?" "Being crazy, mentally ill." "WELL, THEY NEVER KNOW THEY'RE ILL, DO THEY?" "I mean, you can't diagnose yourself with the same organ that has the disease," "JUST LIKE YOU CAN'T SEE YOUR OWN EYEBALL." "I suppose you just feel regular" "AND THE REST OF THE WORLD SEEMS TO GO CRAZY AROUND YOU." "BUT LET'S JUST SUPPOSE THAT I ACTUALLY" "I MEAN, IN REALITY, RAN INTO SOMETHING FROM BEYOND THE- (stabs)" " OH FUCK!" "(whimpers) AH!" "AH." "(panting)" "David's voice:" "I'LL TRY TO EXPLAIN THIS WITHOUT CURSING," "BUT THE BLACK SHIT FROM PLANET X THAT CAME OUT" "FROM THAT MOTHERFUCKER LOOKED LIKE IT HAD GROWN HAIR." "DID I MENTION THAT THE STUFF WAS MOVING?" "TWITCHING?" "(clatters)" " (whimpers) - (raspy breathing)" "UH, HELLO?" "ARE YOU STILL THERE?" "Yes, son, I am." "Just keep calm, okay?" "Nothing you're seeing is real." "David's voice:" "I COULD FEEL IT, THAT STRANGE VENOMOUS WARMTH" "SPREADING THROUGH MY THIGH." "LOOK, I APPRECIATE YOUR TIME, BUT..." "I'M STARTING TO THINK THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO HELP ME." "SON, I'M GOING TO BE HONEST WITH YOU." "We both know you're fucked." "EXCUSE ME?" "YOUR MOM WRITES ON THE WALLS WITH HER OWN SHIT." "Great changes are coming to Deadworld, my son" "WAVES OF MAGGOTS OVER OCEANS OF ROT." "You'll see it, David." "You'll see it with your own eyes." "(demonic voice) DO YOU UNDERSTAND?" " (panting) - (beeps)" "(tires screech)" " (muffled screaming) - (chittering)" " (engine revving) - (tires screeching)" "(breathing heavily)" "Man:" "BE CALM." " (critter purring)" " DRIVE." " (inhales sharply) - (chittering)" " (chomps) - (screams)" " AH." " DRIVE." "JUST DRIVE." "(tires screech)" "WANNA" " AHH!" "JOHN!" "JOHN!" "JOHN, WAKE UP!" " (whimpers)" " WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?" " (purring)" " MY NAME IS ROGER NORTH." "CONGRATULATIONS." "NOW WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU" "AND WHAT'S THIS FUCKING THING YOU'VE GOT ON MY CHEST?" "!" "MY INTEREST IS ONLY IN YOU." "IT IS SAID OUT OF GENUINE CONCERN FOR YOUR SAFETY." "A VERY IMPORTANT ROLE YOU MUST PLAY." "KORROK IS A POWERFUL ADVERSARY." "THINGS ARE IN MOTION, MR. WONG." " FASCINATING." " WHAT?" "THEY HARVEST INSECTS HERE, DO THEY NOT?" "FOR THEIR HONEY?" "DO THE BEES KNOW THAT THEY MAKE THE HONEY FOR YOU" "OR DO THEIR WORK TIRELESSLY BECAUSE THEY THINK IT IS THEIR OWN CHOICE?" " (exhales)" " HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED" "WHEN YOU HEAR A WORD FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME IN YOUR LIFE," "YOU WILL HEAR THAT WORD AGAIN WITHIN 24 HOURS?" "DO YOU EVER WONDER WHY SOMETIMES YOU'LL SEE" "A SINGLE SHOE LYING ALONGSIDE THE ROAD?" " (clicks) - (woofs)" "I'VE BEEN WATCHING YOU FOR SOME TIME," "BUT THERE ARE GREAT GAPS IN MY KNOWLEDGE." "DO YOU KNOW I OBSERVED A MAN WHO MASTURBATED UNTIL HE BLED?" "DID HE WANT TO DO THAT?" "AND YOU, WHEN YOU'RE ALONE- (grunts) - (sizzling)" " (tires screech) - (creature screeching)" "(roars)" " (grunts) - (squeals)" "(gun cocks)" "OKAY." "OKAY." "THIS THING I GOT POINTED AT YOU" " YOU KNOW WHAT IT DOES?" "I BELIEVE I HAVE AN IDEA, YES." "AND ARE YOU FAMILIAR WITH THE OLD HUMAN SAYING" ""I WANT TO SHOOT YOU SO BAD, MY DICK'S HARD"?" "I DON'T BELIEVE I DO." "MAYBE YOU'LL HEAR IT AGAIN IN THE NEXT 24 HOURS" "IF YOU DON'T TRY TO FUCK WITH ME." "NOW SHUT UP AND DON'T MOVE." "(whimpers)" "(chittering)" "(stomping)" "THINGS ARE IN MOTION, HUH?" "(Bark Lee barks)" " HUH." "NICE WORK, BARK LEE." " (whimpers)" "(exhales sharply)" "Man:" "DAVID WONG?" " YEAH." " DETECTIVE LAWRENCE APPLETON." "WOULD YOU PLEASE STEP OUT OF THE CAR?" "YOU AND YOUR FRIEND?" "HE'S..." "RESTING." "GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE CAR." "I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR COMING DOWN, MR. WONG." "I BET IT'S BEEN QUITE A NIGHT FOR YOU, HUH?" "WHERE'S JOHN?" "OH, HE'S FINE." "HE'S TALKING TO ANOTHER OFFICER" " A FEW ROOMS FROM HERE." " JOHN" " HE'S TALKING?" "REALLY?" "SINCE YOU'RE BOTH GONNA TELL ME THE UNVARNISHED TRUTH," "YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT YOUR STORIES MATCHING." "DO YOU?" "JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU DID LAST NIGHT." "WELL, I WENT TO A PARTY BY THE LAKE." "I LEFT AROUND MIDNIGHT." "I WAS ASLEEP BY 2:00." "OOH, YOU SURE ABOUT THAT?" "YOU SURE YOU DIDN'T GO OVER TO THE ONE BALL INN?" "YOU KNOW, ON GRAND AVENUE?" "GRAB A NIGHTCAP?" "YOUR BUDDIES WERE ALL THERE." "NO, I HAD WORK IN THE MORNING." "I WENT STRAIGHT HOME." "David's voice:" "AS I SPOKE, A STRANGE JITTERY ENERGY" "BEGAN TO RISE UP IN ME, RADIATING FROM THE CHEST OUT." "AT THAT MOMENT, THINGS BEGAN TO CLARIFY AND BECOME SIMPLE." "ALL OF A SUDDEN I WAS STARTLED TO FIND I COULD SEE THE COP'S NEXT QUESTION" "BEFORE HE SPOKE IT-- WORD FOR WORD." " "HAVE YOU HEARD THE NAME..."" " HAVE YOU HEARD THE NAME" "(distorted) NATHAN CURRY?" "A GUY ABOUT YOUR AGE." "HIS PARENTS OWN A BODY SHOP RIGHT HERE IN TOWN." " NO." " David's voice: "HOW ABOUT SHELBY WINDER?"" "HOW ABOUT SHELBY WINDER?" "HEAVY GIRL." "SENIOR AT EAST SIDE HIGH." " JUSTIN WHITE?" " NO, SORRY." " WHAT HAPPENED?" " David's voice:" "EVERYTHING WAS OBVIOUS NOW." "ALL THE WALLS OF THE MAZE TURNED TO GLASS." "I IMMEDIATELY KNEW TWO THINGS:" "THIS LIST OF PEOPLE HAD ALL BEEN AT THE PARTY LAST NIGHT" "AND THEY WERE ALL NOW DEAD OR HEADING THERE." "HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?" "HOW DO YOU KNOW ANY OF THIS?" "MAGIC?" "YOU KNOW DAMN WELL WHY." "THAT BLACK SHIT JOHN TOOK MADE BLOOD CONTACT WITH YOU." " (chuckles)" " NOW YOU'RE GETTING HIGH, PARTNER," "ON THE SOY SAUCE." "IT'S GOT YOU." "AT LEAST NINE PEOPLE AT THE ONE BALL INN" "AT CLOSING TIME 12 HOURS AGO..." "THREE ARE MISSING." "YOUR FRIEND IS HERE." "THE REST ARE DEAD." "YOUR FRIEND IS THE ONLY KNOWN SURVIVOR" "OF THE ONE BALL NINE." "AND NOW DON'T TAKE OFFENSE AT THIS" "BUT HE'S NOT LOOKING TOO HEALTHY RIGHT ABOUT NOW." "DID HE SAY ANYTHING THIS MORNING?" "JOHN CALLED ME LAST NIGHT, TALKING CRAZY" "PARANOIA, HALLUCINATIONS, THE WHOLE MONSTERS-IN" " HIS-APARTMENT BIT." "SAID HE COULDN'T REMEMBER HOW HE GOT WHERE HE WAS LIKE THAT." "DID HE SAY WHAT HE WAS ON?" "NO." "YOU KNOW WE'LL FIND OUT ANYWAY, RIGHT?" "I'M NOT INTERESTED IN BOOKING A BUNCH" "OF YOUR RAVER BUDDIES FOR POPPING PILLS." "TO SOMEBODY LIKE ME, DEAD BODIES ARE WHAT MATTERS." "NOW IF SOMEBODY IS OUT THERE SELLING POISON" "I WOULD TELL YOU IF I KNEW." "SO WHAT, THAT'S HOW EVERYONE DIED?" "OVERDOSE?" "WHAT ABOUT THAT GUY?" "YOU KNOW HIM?" "YEAH, HE WAS THERE." "(taps)" "WHATEVER JOHN HAD, HE GOT IT FROM THIS GUY." "THAT'S BRUCE MATTHEWS." "HE RUNS AN AMATEUR" "UNLICENSED PHARMACEUTICAL OPERATION" "ON THE CORNER OF 30th AND LEXINGTON." "AND THOSE?" "BEFORE." "AFTER." "WHAT COULD EVEN DO THAT TO A PERSON?" "LIKE A BOMB OR SOME KIND OF" "NOTHING YOU'D KNOW HOW TO DO." "I'M SURE OF THAT." "MAYBE IT'S SOMETHING NOT WITHIN THE BOUNDS OF OUR FAMILIARITY." "WHAT I" "(whispers) SIR, WE NEED YOU IN THE OTHER ROOM NOW." "HEY, WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON?" "GOD DAMN IT." "(chattering)" "YOUR FRIEND..." " HE'S DEAD." " (tape record clicks)" "SORRY." "HOLD ON." "SO, UH..." "BLACK STUFF-- THIS SOY SAUCE." "THAT'S A DRUG, RIGHT?" " OH, I'LL GET TO THAT." " IT MAKES YOU SMARTER WHEN YOU TAKE IT." "IT LETS YOU READ MINDS AND ALL THAT." "IT HEIGHTENS YOUR SENSES, I THINK." "I DON'T KNOW." "IT'S LIKE" " WHEN YOU'RE ON IT, IT'S LIKE OVERLOAD." "LIKE IF YOU HOOKED YOUR CAR RADIO UP" "TO ONE OF THOSE INTERPLANETARY S.E.T.I. ANTENNAS," "YOU JUST GET SHIT FROM ALL OVER THE PLACE." "YOU CAN SEE THINGS YOU SHOULDN'T BE ABLE TO." "AND YOU'VE STILL GOT SOME OF THIS STUFF?" " I'M GETTING TO THAT." " YOU'RE ON IT RIGHT NOW." "YOU'RE ON IT RIGHT NOW" "AND THAT'S HOW YOU DID THE WHOLE THING" "WITH THE COINS AND THE DREAMS AND ALL THAT EARLIER." "YEAH, I TOOK SOME TODAY." " IT'S FADING THOUGH." " THE EFFECTS DON'T LAST THAT LONG?" "THE SIDE EFFECTS DON'T LAST THAT LONG." "THE EFFECTS WILL LAST THE REST OF MY LIFE, I THINK." "David's voice:" "MAYBE LONGER." "WOW." "OKAY, SO-- SO WAIT A MINUTE." "THE KIDS THAT DIED" "THAT WAS THAT RAVE OVERDOSE, WASN'T IT?" "I REMEMBER ALL THAT" " A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO, SEEING THAT ON THE NEWS." "I THOUGHT THEY GOT AHOLD OF SOME TAINTED ECSTASY OR SOMETHING." " YOU'RE THE GUY" " SOMETHING LIKE THAT." "OKAY, SO IF I CONTACT THIS..." "DETECTIVE APPLETON, HE'LL REMEMBER TALKING TO YOU?" "(chuckles) GOOD LUCK FINDING HIM." "SO WHAT DO YOU THINK?" "HUH, WELL..." "I THINK YOU'VE GOT A BOOK HERE," "PROBABLY, IF YOU FLESH IT OUT A LITTLE BIT." "A BOOK?" "MEANING A WORK OF FICTION?" "MEANING IT'S ALL BULLSHIT?" "HEY, A STORY'S A STORY." "I'M JUST A FEATURE REPORTER," "SO THE FACT THAT YOU THINK IT HAPPENED IS MY STORY." "YOU KNOW, I DON'T REMEMBER LEAVING THE HOUSE WITH ANY COINS IN MY POCKET." "I THINK YOU COULD'VE SLIPPED THEM TO ME." "WITHOUT YOU FEELING IT?" "AND THE THING WITH THE DREAM?" "COME ON, ARNIE." "I THINK YOU'RE TRYING TO BE ONE OF THOSE" "(laughs) ONE OF THOSE MENTALISTS, LIKE THAT DR. MARCONI ON TV." "(scoffs) DR. MARCONI MAY BE THEATRICAL," "BUT BELIEVE ME, HE'S NOT AN ACT." "WELL, I CAUGHT MARCONI'S ACT IN VEGAS," "AND YOUR STORY SOUNDS LIKE A LOT OF THE SAME KIND OF HOCUS-POCUS TO ME." "COME WITH ME." "I WANNA SHOW YOU SOMETHING." " WHERE ARE WE GOING?" " JUST OUT TO MY TRUCK." " (curtain rattles)" " ALL RIGHT." "(clicks)" " (distant barking)" " YOU SEE IT?" "NO." "OR, YOU KNOW, IT'S AN EMPTY CAGE." "TURN YOUR HEAD SO YOU'RE LOOKING AT ME." "YUP. (sighs)" "NOW YOU SHOULD SEE THE BOX JUST OUT OF THE CORNER OF YOUR EYE." "LET'S GO BACK INSIDE." "YOUR STORY WAS MORE INTERESTING." "YOU'RE GONNA DIE, ARNIE." "SOMEDAY YOU WILL FACE THAT MOMENT." "AND AT THAT MOMENT YOU WILL FACE EITHER COMPLETE NONEXISTENCE" "OR YOU WILL FACE SOMETHING EVEN STRANGER." "ON AN ACTUAL DAY IN THE FUTURE, ARNIE," "YOU WILL BE IN THE UNIMAGINABLE." "IT IS PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO AVOID IT." "THINK ABOUT THAT." "NOW," "WITHOUT TURNING YOUR HEAD," "LOOK AT THE BOX." "(screeching)" "AH!" "SHIT!" "(gasps)" "OH SHIT SHIT!" "SHIT!" "WHAT THE SHIT IS THAT?" "(panting)" "WAIT A MINUTE." "HOW THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT?" "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING?" "WHAT THE FUCK, MAN?" "THERE'S NO NAME FOR IT IN THIS WORLD." "IT'S PRETTY FREAKY THOUGH, RIGHT?" "WAIT." "NO NO NO NO." "YOU" "YOU MADE ME SEE SOMETHING." "YOU MADE ME SEE SOMETHING OUT OF MY OWN HEAD." "YOU FREAKED ME OUT SO THAT I WOULD SEE SOMETHING." "NO, IT'S REALLY THERE." "I'M SURPRISED YOU SAW IT SO EASILY THOUGH." "YOU MUST HAVE AN OPEN MIND." "MOST PEOPLE ONLY SEE IT THAT FAST IF THEY'RE STONED OR DRUNK." "(chuckles)" "I WANT TO TELL THE REST OF MY STORY, ARNIE." "I NEED TO." "I NEED TO GET IT OUT." "BUT YOU HAVE TO TAKE IT FOR WHAT IT IS" " THE TRUTH." " OKAY." "UNTIL I FIGURE IT OUT FOR REAL." "(chuckles)" "OKAY." "EH, THAT'LL HAVE TO DO." "(clangs)" "COME ON." "ANYWAY, SO THE COP COMES IN," "TELLS ME THAT JOHN IS DEAD." "YOUR FRIEND..." "HE'S DEAD." "WHAT?" "HOW?" " (panting)" " CALM DOWN." "CALM DOWN." "HE WENT INTO CONVULSIONS OR SOMETHING." "HIS PULSE STOPPED." "WE'VE GOT AMBULANCES." "ONE WILL BE HERE IN 30 SECONDS." "WE'VE GOT VINNIE DOING C.P.R. ON HIM." "VINNIE IS A LIFEGUARD IN HIS OFF HOURS." "NOW YOU LISTEN TO ME, BOY." "HERE'S WHAT YOU'RE GONNA DO." "I'LL BE BACK IN FIVE MINUTES" "AND THEN YOU ARE GONNA TELL ME THE TRUTH." "AND IF YOU OBSTRUCT ME IN ANY WAY," "YOU'RE GONNA LIVE THE REST OF YOUR DAYS WISHING YOU HAD NOT." " (door closes) - (cellphone ringing)" "(clicks, beeps)" "YEAH?" "Dave, this is John." "WHAT?" "DID YOU GET OUT?" "Yes and no." "Are you still at the police station?" "YEAH, WE WERE-- WE WERE BOTH" "Have I died yet?" "Dave, can you hear me?" "UMM, YEAH." "I, UH" "EVERYONE RAN OUT OF THE ROOM." "THEY SAID YOU HAD" "No no, there's no time to explain all this right now." "Look, leave the police station right now during all the commotion." "They'll have EMTs hauling my body out, lots of people will be standing around looking." "Just walk out." "Don't run." "That'll attract attention." "Just calmly walk out like your business is done there." "Also, is there any way that you can steal my body?" " WHAT?" "!" " No, probably not." "Okay, never mind." "We'll have to work around that." "Okay, have you reached the sidewalk yet?" "NO, I'M STILL STANDING IN THE ROOM." "I CAN'T LEAVE." "THERE'S STILL A GUY IN HERE WITH ME." "ANOTHER COP." "No, there's not." "Check the mirror." "I DON'T GET IT." "He's not real, Dave." "Well, not in the traditional sense." "Just go." "Just walk out." "Okay, you're gonna start seeing things like this from time to time." "It's important that you not freak out." "SO, UH..." "HE CAN'T HURT ME, RIGHT?" "Oh, I'm pretty sure he can." "(grunting)" "(chittering)" "(choking)" "(flapping, cawing)" " (chomps)" " AH!" "AH!" "AH!" "(both grunting)" "(screams)" "(grunts)" "(groaning)" "(chokes)" "(slams)" "(birds chirping)" "(door closes)" "(cellphone rings, beeps)" "John:" "Dave, it's me." "Where are you right now?" "I'M ON THE SIDEWALK OUTSIDE THE COP SHOP, WALKING." "WHERE ARE YOU?" "HEAVEN?" "When you hear a song on the radio, where is the song?" "WHAT?" " WH" " WHAT, JOHN?" " Just keep walking." "Just go toward the park." " And don't freak out." "Are you freaking out?" " I DON'T KNOW." "I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS PHONE STILL WORKS." "There's a hot dog guy about maybe a half a block ahead." "Do you see him?" "(rock music playing on radio)" " OKAY." " Buy a bratwurst from him." "(sighs)" "ONE." "OKAY, I HAVE THE BRATWURST." "Put it up to your head." "GONNA HAVE TO ASK YOU WHY, JOHN." "I have to show you something." "Dave." "Dave, can you hear me?" "ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, I GET IT." "YEAH, I CAN HEAR YOU THROUGH SOME KIND OF PSYCHIC VIBRATION" "OR WHATEVER AND NOT THE PHONE." "OKAY, I GET IT." "OKAY?" " COULD'VE JUST TOLD ME THAT." " The only reason that you can hear me is because you have some of the Soy Sauce in your system from the syringe." "But it's not very much and it's not gonna last very long." "WHAT IS THAT STUFF, JOHN?" "THE SAUCE-- IT WAS ALIVE." " I SWEAR." " Listen, you've got to get over to Robert's place." "There aren't any cops there right now, but there will be." "We've got sort of a narrow window here, so you've got to take a cab to Wally's, get your car and then go to Wayside Village on Lathrop Avenue." " It's a trailer park south of town." " I DON'T HAVE ANY CASH." "I HAD $5." "I JUST SPENT THREE OF IT ON THE BRATWURST." "That bratwurst cost $3?" "Holy crap." "Okay." "All right, give me a second." "Okay, check between the sausage and the bun." "You should find a $100 bill rolled up in there." "THERE'S NO MONEY IN THE BRATWURST." "IT'S JUST A PIECE OF LETTUCE." "Okay." "You have your ATM card?" "(cellphone ringing)" " JOHN." " Dave!" " YEAH." " (distorted) What?" "Did you just drive under a bridge or something?" "NO, I'M AT THE TRAILER PARK." "WHICH ONE'S ROBERT'S?" "Oh, it's wearing off." "Okay, don't talk, just listen." "Go inside..." "(static)" "And as long as you absolutely remember" " not to do that you'll be fine." "Good luck." " (beeps)" "OH, WAIT WAIT WAIT, JOHN." "JOHN, I DIDN'T GET THE" "HELLO?" "THIS LOOKS LIKE THE PLACE." " (engine stops) - (buckle clicks)" " (barks)" " STAY IN THE CAR." " (creaks) - (static)" " (static) - (snoring)" "(snoring continues)" " (gasping) - (bangs)" " (rattles) - (creaks)" "(gasps)" "(hissing)" "OH SHIT." "(rattling)" "(hisses, bangs)" "David's voice:" "YOU KNOW WHAT'S IN THERE, RIGHT?" "WE KNOW ROBERT HAD A STASH OF THE SHIT." "HEY, MAN!" "YOU OWE ME A BEER, MAN!" "AND IF HE HAD A STASH, HE COULDN'T JUST CRAM IT UNDER HIS BED." "THAT BLACK SHIT MOVES, IT HAS A WILL, AN ATTITUDE." "IT BITES." "AND THEN I REALIZED ALL AT ONCE WHAT I HAD COME HERE FOR." "WHEN I WAS ONE THE STUFF-- THAT LITTLE HIT IN MY THIGH" "I COULD COMMUNICATE WITH THE DEAD, WITH JOHN." "WHEN IT WORE OFF I COULD NOT." "MY ONE CHANCE TO SAVE JOHN LAY INSIDE THIS BOTTLE." "IT WAS DECIDED THEN, JUST LIKE THAT." " (chittering)" " UGH." "(buzzes)" "(gulps, gags)" "(Dave's voice screaming) OH, SON OF A MOTHERFUCK!" "THE FUCKING SOY SAUCE IS DIGGING A FUCKING HOLE IN MY FUCKING FACE!" "I'LL THROW MYSELF AT THE COP AND BEG HIM TO TAKE ME TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM" "TO PUMP MY STOMACH, TO BRING IN AN EXORCIST," "TO CALL IN THE AIR FORCE TO NUKE THIS WHOLE TOWN INTO RADIOACTIVE DUST" "AND BURY IT UNDER 60' OF CONCRETE!" "(normal tone) AND THEN..." "CALM." "ALMOST ZEN." "THAT'S WHAT CAME NEXT, THAT SOY SAUCE FEELING." "I WANTED TO RUN, TO DUCK, TO ACT," "BUT THE BODY IS A SLOW, WET MECHANISM" "OF MUSCLE AND BONE THAT CREEPED EVEN AS MY MIND FLEW." "AND SO JUST LIKE THAT, I STEPPED OUTSIDE OF IT." "I HAD A FULL 1.78 SECONDS BEFORE THE DETECTIVE WOULD STEP THROUGH THE DOOR." "A SUPERCOMPUTER CAN DO OVER A TRILLION MATHEMATICAL EQUATIONS IN ONE SECOND." "TO THAT MACHINE, ONE SECOND IS AN ETERNITY." "OKAY, THINK." "YOU'RE STANDING ON THE THIN COOL CRUST" "OF A GIGANTIC BALL OF MOLTEN ROCK HURTLING THROUGH FROZEN SPACE." "YOU'RE IN A SITUATION THAT COULD THREATEN THE NATURE" "OF SAID EXISTENCE ON SAID MOLTEN BALL," "DEPENDING ON WHICH DECISION YOU MAKE." "BUT WAIT." "THERE ARE A SHITLOAD OF SUBATOMIC PARTICLES IN THE UNIVERSE," "EACH SET INTO OUTWARD MOTION AT THE MOMENT OF THE BIG BANG." "THUS WHETHER OR NOT YOU MOVE YOUR RIGHT ARM NOW OR NOD YOUR HEAD" "OR CHOOSE TO EAT FRUITY PEBBLES OR CORN FLAKES NEXT THURSDAY MORNING" "WAS ALL DECIDED AT THE MOMENT THE UNIVERSE CRASHED" "INTO EXISTENCE 17 BILLION YEARS AGO." "THUS IT IS PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE FOR YOU TO DEVIATE" "I NEVER FINISHED THIS THOUGHT, AS I SUDDENLY REALIZED" "I WAS NO LONGER IN THE TRAILER." "(wind blowing)" "WAS I DEAD?" "(clinking)" "(buzzer sounds)" "UH, EXCUSE ME." "(echoes)" "SO..." "I..." "SUPPOSE YOU'RE WONDERING WHY I'M HERE." "SAME AS EVERYBODY." "YOU'RE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT" "WHAT IN THE NAME OF ELVIS IS GOING ON." "EVERYBODY EXCEPT ME." "ME" " I DON'T EVEN WANNA KNOW ANYMORE." "I SUPPOSE YOU'RE WONDERING" "WHAT I'M DOING WITH THIS CAN OF GASOLINE?" "OH, THANKS." "I FELL..." "ON A DRILL." "(gas sloshes)" "(lid clinks)" " (cocks)" " OH!" "YOU LEAVING ALREADY?" "HERE, HELP ME." "I'LL BE GLAD TO, BUT FIRST" "I WANNA KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO MY FRIEND JOHN." "WELL, HE'S GONE, YOU KNOW THAT, RIGHT?" "MEANING?" "HE'S JUST GONE." "YOU KNOW A KID NAMED JUSTIN WHITE, MR. WONG?" " HIGH SCHOOL KID?" " YOU ASKED ME THAT BACK AT THE STATION." "I REMEMBER NOW." "HE'S THAT KID-- KINDA TALKS LIKE A JUNIOR GANGSTER." "HE'S ONE OF THE MISSING, RIGHT?" "WELL, HE'S THE GUY WHO CALLED IN THE" "THE WHATEVER HAPPENED HERE-- ABOUT 4:00 IN THE MORNING." "(sirens blaring)" "Girl:" "GET IN!" "GO GO GO GO GO GO!" "(tires screech)" " (boy whimpers) - (girl #2 moaning)" "Boy #2:" "OH!" "(chittering)" "(Justin groaning) SHIT." "Appleton:" "I THOUGHT HE WAS STABBED IN THE GUT OR SOMETHING." "I LOOKED CLOSER AND THERE WAS SOMETHING ON JUSTIN" "HIS ARMS AND HIS FACE." " AND THIS STUFF, IT'S ALIVE." " (Justin sobs)" "STAY BACK, STEVE." "I GOT THIS." "YO, WHAT UP, 5-0?" "SO YOU'RE STILL GONNA BURN THIS PLACE DOWN?" "THAT'S RIGHT." "AND YOU'RE NOT GONNA LET ME GO." "SO YOU UNDERSTAND MY MOOD," "UNDERSTAND WHY I'M OUT HERE COMMITTING FELONIES TODAY," "THERE ARE SOME VERY DARK THINGS HAPPENING" "AND I'VE GOT THIS LONELY FEELING" "LIKE I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO KNOWS," "THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT." "EVERYBODY'S GOT A GHOST STORY," "U.F.O. OR A BIGFOOT STORY" " NO." "YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK?" "I THINK STUFF IS BOTH" "REAL AND NOT REAL AT THE SAME TIME." "I'M NOT A STAR TREK FAN." "I DON'T KNOW VERY MUCH ABOUT OTHER DIMENSIONS AND ALL THAT." "I'M AN OLD SCHOOL CATHOLIC." "I BELIEVE IN HELL." "I BELIEVE THAT IT'S MORE THAN JUST" "MURDERERS AND RAPISTS DOWN THERE." "I BELIEVE IN DEMONS AND WORMS" "VILE SHIT IN THE GREASE TRAP OF THE UNIVERSE." "AND THE MORE I THINK ABOUT IT, THE MORE I THINK" "THAT IT'S NOT JUST SOMEPLACE DOWN THERE." "OH NO, THAT IT'S RIGHT HERE WITH US." "WE JUST CAN'T PERCEIVE IT." "IT'S KINDA LIKE THE COUNTRY MUSIC RADIO STATION." "IT'S OUT THERE IN THE AIR" "EVEN IF YOU DON'T TUNE INTO IT." "AND I THINK THAT SOMEHOW THROUGH CHEMISTRY" "OR MAGIC OR VOODOO" "THAT JAMAICAN SON OF A BITCH," "HE TUNED IN TO IT," "INTO HELL ITSELF." "THROUGH THAT, HE OPENED A DOOR." "HE BECAME THE DOOR." "AND ME?" "I INTEND TO CLOSE IT." "(machinery clanking)" "UH, EXCUSE ME." "(echoes)" "(fly buzzing)" "(squishes)" " (grunts) - (bullet clatters)" "(fire crackling)" "(coughing)" "(engine revving)" "(tires screech)" " (crashes) - (grunts)" "(engine idling)" "(coughing)" " (woofs)" " MOVE." " (sounds reverberating) - (Bark Lee panting)" "(John clears throat)" "(distorted) Oh!" "David!" "You understand me?" "This is John." "UH..." "HELLO." " We're in big fucking trouble, Dave." " YEAH, NO SHIT, FLUFFY." "Oh, you can hear me, so I guess you took the Soy Sauce." "Why?" "Didn't I tell you not to?" "And what happened to your face?" "YOUR SECOND QUESTION ANSWERS YOUR FIRST." "John:" "Here's what I know:" "there are two people still alive from last night other than me," "Fred Chu and your girlfriend Amy." "WAIT." "YOU'RE WITH AMY?" "AND WHO'S GOT YOU?" "Justin White-- or that thing that used to be Justin." "UH, THAT'S FOUR STILL ALIVE, INCLUDING JUSTIN." "There's nothing left of Justin inside of him now." "Couple of days," "Justin's gonna hatch just like that Jamaican did." "Anybody in the vicinity when that happens will become a spawning pod thing." "Dave, the last world that saw these things was saturated within 100 days." "And don't ask me how I know that either, because I don't know." "OKAY, I GOT ANOTHER QUESTION." "EVERYONE WHO TOOK THE SOY SAUCE" "IS EITHER DEAD OR COMATOSE EXCEPT FOR ME." "Probably able to adjust." "But you should have figured out by now, Dave, you don't choose the Soy Sauce." "The Soy Sauce chooses you." "The Soy Sauce chooses you." "If it can't use you, it kills you." "From what I hear, it plays with you first." "(barks)" "(raspy breathing)" "JUSTIN?" "(groans)" "(raspy) YO, YOU NEED TO COME ROLL WITH ME, DUDE." "WHERE, UH-- WHERE WE GOING, JUSTIN?" "WHY YOU FRONTING, BRO?" "YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS." "STOP CALLING ME JUSTIN LIKE NOTHING'S CHANGED, YO." "WHAT SHOULD I CALL YOU, HOMEY?" "JUST CALL ME SHITLOAD," "BECAUSE THERE'S A SHITLOAD OF US IN HERE, YO." "DUDE, I KNOW YOU STRAPPED," " BUT BEFORE YOU THINK ABOUT..." " (gun cocks) ...FLASHING THAT NINE ON ME, YO," "YOU BETTER LISTEN TO WHAT I'S GOTS TO SAY." "(clicks)" "(groans)" "AS I WAS SAYING, YO..." "GONNA LISTEN TO ME, DUDE?" "I'VE" " I'M LISTENING, SHITLOAD." "WE TAKING A RIDE." "YEAH, I DON'T THINK THAT'S GONNA HAPPEN." "(grunts)" "(groans)" " (truck rattling)" " OH MY GOD, MY BALLS." "HEY HEY." "WE HEARD THE GUNFIRE." " ARE YOU THE ONE THAT SHOT HIM?" " (groans)" " I SAW HIS HEAD." " I WAS AIMING FOR HIS HEART" " BUT YEAH, I DID GET HIM." " Amy:" "GOOD." "AMY?" "DO YOU THINK HE CAN BE KILLED?" "David:" "LOOK, I DON'T KNOW." "Amy:" "HE SAID SOMETHING ABOUT AN OLD MALL." "THE MALL OF THE DEAD." "WHY THERE?" "David:" "JOHN?" "HOW LONG HAS HE BEEN LIKE THIS?" "DOES HE EVER SAY ANYTHING?" "HE MUMBLES." "BEEN LIKE THAT EVER SINCE THEY BROUGHT HIM IN." "WAKE UP!" "COME ON, WAKE UP, ASSHOLE." "HEY." "UH, I FOUND YOUR DOG." "I KNOW." "THANKS." "(whines)" "LISTEN," "I'M GONNA GET US OUT OF THIS." "DON'T WORRY." "JOHN'S GOT A PLAN." "(whines)" "(mumbles)" "(crackling)" "(grunts)" " (Amy gasps) - (groans) OOH." "(chuckles) MAN!" "WHERE ARE WE?" "WE'RE IN SOME LIQUOR TRUCK AND WE'RE ON OUR WAY" "TO THE ABANDONED MALL ON HIGHWAY 59." "DID YOU SAY WE'RE GOING TO THE MALL OR COMING BACK FROM IT?" " GOING!" " YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT," " 'CAUSE FRED'S STILL ALIVE." " WHAT?" "!" "NOTHING NOTHING." "I GOT A HEADACHE." "YOU SEE THAT DOOR?" "I SEE IT." "(chitters)" "YO, SHE'LL BE ABLE TO WALK UP OUTTA HERE IF Y'ALL COOPERATE." "I NEED HER TO OPEN THE GHOST DOOR, YO." "BUT IF YOU GIVE ME STATIC OR TRY TO PLAY THE MOTHERFUCKING FOOL," "AS SOON AS SHE DONE WHAT I NEED, I'M GONNA MAKE YOU" " HEY!" " (John panting)" "YO, WHAT'S OUT THERE?" "A WEAPON?" "YOU TRYING TO GANK ME, FOOL?" "(shotgun cocks, fires)" "(Amy gasps)" "(gurgles)" "(match strikes, flares)" "(exhales sharply)" "I GUESS THERE'S NO GETTING RID OF YOU." "(shotgun cocks)" "ANY MORE OF THEM?" "NO, I DON'T THINK SO." "THEN COME ON-- ALL OF YOU." "LET'S GET TO MY CAR." "OKAY, SO THOSE WHITE THINGS THAT YOU SAW TAKE OVER JUSTIN" "THEY'RE LOOKING FOR HOSTS, OKAY?" "NOW, UH, THERE WAS A DRUG THAT THE GUY," "THE ONE WHO EXPLODED, HE HAD IT IN HIS TRAILER" "THAT STUFF IS BLACK, RIGHT?" "OH." "YOU'RE, UH-- YOU'RE FAMILIAR WITH IT?" "SOUNDS LIKE YOU AND I BOTH GOT LONG STORIES TO TELL." "I'VE BEEN UP 48 HOURS STRAIGHT" " AND THIS CASE AIN'T GETTING NO CLEARER." " (engine starts)" "IT'S THE ADRENALINE-- IT KEEPS ME GOING." "YEAH." "THAT AND THOSE..." "PIERCING VOICES IN MY HEAD." "WAIT." "WHAT KIND OF VOICES?" "UH... (grunts)" " (grunts) - (screaming)" " (chittering)" " OH FUCK!" " John:" "AH, COME ON!" " OH!" "OH!" " GET OUT OF THE WAY." "OH!" " (chittering)" "John:" "DAVE, LET'S GO, COME ON." "GET OUTTA THERE!" " (panting) - (grunts)" "(screaming)" "TAKE MY HAND!" "COME ON!" "GO!" "GO!" "MOVE!" "(whimpers) SHIT!" " (gasps) - (grunting)" "COME ON, LET'S GO." "(coughs)" "(grunts)" "(grunts, panting)" " (grunts)" " GUYS, I'M ALL RIGHT." "I'M OKAY!" " WHOA!" " (whispers) THAT'S NOT FRED." "NOT ANYMORE." " (cocks)" " GUYS, LOOK, I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU THINK YOU SAW BACK THERE." "ANY ONE OF US COULD BE INFECTED OR WHATEVER," "BUT WE GOTTA STICK TOGETHER." "WE'RE THE GOOD GUYS HERE." "RIGHT?" "FRED, WHY DON'T YOU GO DOWN TO THE HIGHWAY AND FLAG DOWN A CAR?" "YES." " OH." " (body thuds)" "HELP ME GET HIM TO THE WRECK!" "THESE THINGS ARE STARTING TO COME OUT OF HIM!" " COME ON!" "DRAG HIM!" " Amy:" "OH GOD, I CAN'T." " (chittering)" " YOU CAN DO IT!" "COME ON!" " (both grunt)" " GET HIM OVER HERE." " GET BACK!" "OKAY." " (cocks)" "(screeching)" "(panting)" "JOHN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" "MY WEAPONS." "I'M NOT GONNA STAND BY" "WHILE SOME WHITE FUZZ FROM ANOTHER DIMENSION" "INVADES OUR WORLD AND INFECTS EVERY LAST MAN, WOMAN AND CHILD." "WE'RE GONNA GO THROUGH THAT GHOST DOOR AND CLEAN HOUSE." "WHAT?" "I WENT WITH THE OLD TESTAMENT." "OKAY." "WHY?" "'CAUSE WE'RE THE ONLY ONES WHO CAN." "'CAUSE WE WERE CHOSEN..." "BY THE SOY SAUCE." " ARE YOU IN?" " (sighs)" "YEAH, I GUESS." "IS THAT A PAINTBALL GUN?" "(squeaks, hisses)" "(chuckles)" "John:" "GHOST DOOR" " YOU SEE IT?" "YEAH." " ALL I SEE IS A WALL." " (rustles)" "(whimpers)" "OH, COOL." "SHIT." "IT'S A GHOST KNOB." " David:" "THIS JUST DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE." " John:" "NUH-UH." "'CAUSE JUSTIN" " OR SHITLOAD OR WHATEVER HIS NAME WAS" "HE SAID HE NEEDED AMY TO OPEN IT." "(pops)" "(gasps)" "(clicking)" "(clangs)" "(scrapes)" "(humphs, pants)" " (grates) - (gasps)" "HEY!" "AMY!" "(footsteps)" "OH, I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS TO ASK" " BUT NO TIME TO ASK THEM." " THAT'S HIM, THAT'S THE GUY" "THE ONE IN MY TRUCK WITH THE SLUG LAST NIGHT." "OKAY, SLUG MAN," "CAN YOU TELL US JUST WHAT THE FUCK THIS PLACE IS?" "WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE LOOKING AT THERE?" "YOU'RE GONNA BE LOOKING AT MY FIST AND THEN DAVE'S DICK" "IF YOU DON'T FUCKING TELL US WHAT THIS IS!" "THE OTHERS HAVE DEVOTED MORE TIME AND RESOURCES THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE" "TO DEVELOPING AN ABILITY TO PASS FROM ONE SIDE" "TO THE NEXT WITH NO SUCCESS." "BUT NOW WE REALIZE THAT YOU," " AND JOHN HERE, APPARENTLY CAN." " WHO'S "WE"?" "OH, I HAVE ENLISTED AN ALLY FROM YOUR WORLD." "THIS GUY?" "YOU TRUSTED THIS GUY?" "HE'S JUST AN INFOMERCIAL DUDE." "HEY, DON'T BE SO HASTY, DAVE." "DR. MARCONI BRINGS A LOT TO THE TABLE." "THANK YOU, JOHN." "YOU'RE A GENTLEMAN." "THE SOURCE OF THE CURRENT MANIFESTATION IS" "ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THIS PORTAL." "THE ENTITY'S NAME IS KORROK." "AND WHAT DOES THIS KORROK LOOK LIKE, EXACTLY?" "YOU WILL KNOW HIM WHEN YOU SEE HIM." "BELIEVE ME." " (chuckles)" " HE CANNOT BE DESTROYED BY CONVENTIONAL MEANS," "BUT I HAVE A PLAN." "LADIES." "IT IS CALLED THE TRIPPER." "AND IT CAME FROM WHERE, EXACTLY?" "THIS IS AN EXPERIMENTAL COLD WAR WEAPON" "DESIGNED TO TAKE DOWN A CITY THE SIZE OF MOSCOW." "CONTAINED WITHIN THIS DETONATOR IS A BLOCK OF C-4 EXPLOSIVE," "SURROUNDED BY A HIGHLY-POTENT MILITARY-GRADE HALLUCINOGEN." "IF YOU GET THE OPPORTUNITY," " YOU MAY DETONATE IT LIKE THIS." " (clicks)" "NOW THE TRIPPER MAY NOT KILL KORROK," "BUT IT WILL SURE FUCK HIS SHIT UP." "SEVERELY." "(chuckles)" "WELL, I LIKE THE CONCEPT, DOCTOR." "AH!" "MMM." "MMM." "(sighs) FINE." "HOW DO WE GET IN?" "JUST DECIDE THAT YOU WANT TO AND YOU WILL." "(warbles)" " (portal zaps) - (grunts)" " (portal zaps) - (barks)" "(portal zaps)" "AH." "WE MUST BE IN AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE OF SOME KIND." "APPARENTLY IT'S "EYES WIDE SHUT" WORLD." "GENTLEMEN, WELCOME!" "AS YOU CAN SEE," "A SELECT FEW INTERESTED PARTIES" "WERE ALLOWED TO COME AND OBSERVE YOUR ARRIVAL." "SO WE THOUGHT REMOVING THE GARMENTS" "WOULD LESSEN YOUR DISCOMFORT." "YES." "A VERY NICE TOUCH." "GOOD!" "COME." "GENTLEMEN, WELCOME!" "I THINK THEY WERE EXPECTING US." "I LIKE THE LITTLE TOUCHES THOUGH." " (whimpers)" " I SUPPOSE YOU ARE WONDERING WHERE YOU ARE." "I'M GONNA GUESS WE'RE IN AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE OF SOME KIND." "WELL, THAT IS CORRECT." "TELL ME" " WHAT WAS IT LIKE PASSING THROUGH?" "I WASN'T REALLY PAYING ATTENTION." "YEAH, IT REALLY WASN'T THAT GREAT." "WE HAVE BEEN AWAITING YOUR COMING." "WE HAVE WORKED VERY HARD FOR MANY YEARS," "SUFFERED MANY TRAGIC SETBACKS IN AN ATTEMPT" "TO FIND AND COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR WORLD." "YOUR WORLD, YOU SEE, IS A TWIN TO OUR OWN," "DUAL OFFSPRING BORN OF THE SAME LITTER." "WATCH!" "UP UNTIL THIS POINT," "OUR HISTORIES WERE IDENTICAL." "THERE WAS A MAN NAMED CYRUS ROONEY FROM TENNESSEE." "IN YOUR WORLD, HE DIED AT THE AGE OF 17," "GORED TO DEATH WHILE TRYING TO CROSSBREED A BULL WITH A CLYDESDALE." "IN OUR WORLD, THE MAN SURVIVED." "HERE, CYRUS ROONEY WAS A GENIUS." "HE CONTINUED TO EXPERIMENT IN WHAT HE CALLED BEASTIOLOGY." "YES." "PEOPLE FROM OUR SOUTH ARE INTO THAT AS WELL." " (chuckles)" " YOU SEE, BY 1881" "HIS GROUP HAD INSECTILE FLYING MACHINES." "IN 1902 HE CREATED THE FIRST PRIMITIVE THINKING MACHINE" "OUT OF THE BRAIN OF A PIG." "(snorting)" "YOU SEE, BY YOUR YEAR 1922" "WE ALREADY HAD SELF-FEEDING," "SELF-HEALING, SELF-MODIFYING COMPUTERS." "IN 1926 MR. ROONEY PASSED AWAY." "AND THEN SOMETHING MIRACULOUS HAPPENED" "TO THE GREATEST OF HIS CREATIONS." "THE VERY DAY MR. ROONEY PASSED, IT BECAME SENTIENT." "IT GAVE A NAME UNTO ITSELF" "AND EXPRESSED DESIRES AND EMOTIONS." "AND FROM THAT DAY FORWARD, THIS ASTONISHING CREATURE CARRIED ON ROONEY'S WORK" "AND CONFORMED ALL LIVING NATURE" "TO URGE ON THE ADVANCEMENT OF MANKIND." "FOR SOME, THIS PROCESS WAS EASY." "OTHERS REQUIRED RE-EDUCATION." "WATCH!" "(squeaks) MAMA." " (people shouting)" " OW!" "OW!" "NO!" "PLEASE!" "NO!" "OH!" "OH!" "OH MY GOD!" "(grunts)" " (chittering) - (people screaming)" "(screams)" "TO PROCESS THE MAGNANIMITY THAT IS KORROK" "FOR YOUR SIMPLER MINDS," "WE HAVE TRANSLATED THE FOLLOWING IMAGES" "INTO A FORMAT THAT WE THINK" "THAT YOU WILL FIND MORE FAMILIAR." "I BELIEVE IN YOUR WORLD THEY'RE CALLED CARTOONS." " (cartoon music) - (people screaming)" "MAMA!" "(roaring)" "(gurgles)" "MAMA!" "(squeaks) MAMA!" "Largeman:" "THERE ARE ALWAYS THOSE WHO RESIST PROGRESS." "IN OUR WORLD IT IS CONSIDERED A CRIME." "ON OUR WORLD IT'S CONSIDERED A GREATER CRIME" "TO UNLEASH KILLER SPIDERS ON AN UNARMED CROWD." "WE CALL THAT ARACHNICIDE." "BUT WHAT IF YOU HAD A THINKING MACHINE?" "AN ENTITY SO POWERFUL" "THAT IT COULD FORESEE THE OUTCOME OF ANY ACTION?" "FOLLOW ME." "WE ARE ALL VERY EXCITED" "THAT YOU COULD JOIN US." "ARE YOU THINKING WHAT I'M THINKING?" "THAT IF FRANZ KAFKA WAS HERE," " HIS HEAD WOULD EXPLODE?" " ACTUALLY, YEAH." "GENTLEMEN, YOU ARE ABOUT TO SEE SOMETHING" "VERY FEW OTHERS HAVE SEEN BEFORE YOU" "THE ULTIMATE MANIFESTATION" "OF CYRUS ROONEY'S CREATION." "(clangs)" "DAVE, JOHN," "MEET KORROK." " (loudly) I AM KORROK." " (Dave and John grunting)" "(Korrok laughs) WELCOME." "YOUR WIENER IS EVEN SMALLER IN PERSON." " Both:" "WHAT?" " WITH A TINY CHANGE IN YOUR BRAIN CHEMISTRY," " I COULD MAKE YOU A CHILD MOLESTER." " (children laugh)" " WHAT DO YOU WANT?" " Korrok:" "NOT BIG BLACK COCKS," "SO WE DON'T HAVE THAT IN COMMON." "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HEAD!" "DAVID WONG, SON OF AN INSANE PROSTITUTE" "AND A MENTALLY-CHALLENGED AMWAY SALESMAN." "THERE ARE WORLDS UPON WORLDS," " AN INFINITY YOU CANNOT GRASP." " ..." "IN OUR WORLD." "THEY WILL SOON BE IN YOUR WORLD TOO." "20 YEARS AGO KORROK FORETOLD YOUR COMING." "HE SHOWED US THE WAY TO YOUR WORLD." "WE HAVE NEVER TRAVELED FROM OUR PLANE TO YOURS." "BUT WE HAVE TRIED." "OH, WE HAVE TRIED." "DAVE, JOHN," "YOUR ARRIVAL HERE IS A NEW DAWN." "YOU CAN SHOW US THE WAY TO GO FROM OUR WORLD TO YOUR OWN." "YOU SEE, IN OUR WORLD," "WHEN SOMEONE IS BORN WITH SPECIAL WISDOM," "HE SHARES IT WITH KORROK" "SO THAT KORROK COULD BE GREATER." "WATCH." "AH!" "AH!" "(screams)" " (gasps)" " Korrok:" "MMM, BACON!" "WE UNDERSTAND." "WE ONLY HAVE THE BEST INTENTIONS." "WE HAVE OBSERVED YOU AND WILL SOON MOVE" "INTO YOUR WORLD WITH ASTONISHING SPEED," "SO THAT YOU TOO CAN KNOW THE BENEFICENCE THAT IS KORROK." "(beeping)" "BUT FIRST" "WE HAVE TO SHARE YOUR KNOWLEDGE WITH KORROK." "(all grunting)" "(screams, thuds)" " (growling) - (screams)" "(high-pitched scream)" " (grunting)" " DAVE!" " (screams) - (laughs)" "(growls)" "(screams)" " JOHN!" " (hissing)" "(guard screams)" " (beeps) - (growling continues)" "(screams)" "NO!" " (thuds) - (Korrok screaming)" "(guard screaming)" " (thuds) - (grunts)" " (bangs)" " DOOR!" "(beeping stops)" "AW, MAN." "YOU FUCKED UP" " THE DETONATION SEQUENCE!" " Largeman:" "DAVE, JOHN." "ALL OF THE HUMAN MINDS WHO HAVE EVER LIVED IN HISTORY," "ALL OF YOUR THINKERS AND WRITERS" "AND TEACHERS AND PHILOSOPHERS" "COULD NOT EQUAL EVEN ONE NODE" "OF KORROK'S NEURAL WEB." "OUR LEGIONS ARE READY FOR THE CALL." " AND SOON ALL OF YOUR TURMOIL..." " (beeping) ...AND UNREST AND CONFUSION" "WILL VANISH UNDER THE SOFT HAND OF KORROK." " HMM?" " (Bark Lee growls)" " HMM?" " (beeps)" "(Korrok roars)" "(both panting)" "DID BARK LEE JUST SACRIFICE HIS LIFE?" " DAMN." "THAT DOG JUST SAVED THE UNIVERSE." " AMY'S GONNA KILL ME." "WE MUST HURRY." "(man yells)" "MOVE." "NOW!" "WAIT." "IF YOU COULD CROSS OVER HERE SO EASILY," "WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST DELIVER THE FREAKING BOMB?" "WHY US?" "WE NEEDED TO SEND SOMEONE THEY WOULD CONSIDER TOTALLY INNOCUOUS" "COMPLETELY UNABLE TO POSE A SERIOUS THREAT." "BESIDES, THE DOG NEEDED AN ESCORT." "YES." "GOOD THINKING." "Arnie:" "SO MARCONI SAVED THE DAY." "HUH." " KORROK STILL EXISTS?" " FROM OUR WORLD," "IT'S HARD TO REALLY KNOW FOR SURE." "BUT IT'S NO SECRET THAT THERE'S" "STILL STRANGE STUFF GOING DOWN IN THIS TOWN." "WHAT ABOUT THE GIRL, AMY?" "WHAT HAPPENED TO HER?" "AMY WASN'T TOO HAPPY ABOUT HER DOG." "THE SOY SAUCE THAT THE DOG INGESTED WHEN HE BIT" "THE JAMAICAN GUY ALLOWED BARK LEE TO PSYCHICALLY CONNECT" "WITH NORTH AND MARCONI." "SO THE DOG KNEW WHAT HAD TO BE DONE" "AND WAS WILLING TO MAKE THE ULTIMATE SACRIFICE." "AS TO AMY..." "SHE'S BEEN MY GIRLFRIEND EVER SINCE." "(birds chirping)" "I GOT HER OUT OF TOWN THOUGH." "SHE'S UPSTATE AT COLLEGE." "GOT A 3.7 G.P.A." "GOOD FOR HER." "AND JOHN?" "WHAT, UH" " WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM?" "HE SURVIVED TOO?" "WE SHOOT HOOPS A LOT" "WHENEVER WE'RE NOT TOO BUSY WITH, UH, WORK." "WHAT THE HELL, MR. WONG." "I SAY WE JUST GO PUBLIC WITH IT," "WITH YOUR STORY." "BUT JUST TELLING OUR STORY, THAT'S NOT GOING TO DO SHIT." "THE TESTIMONY OF TWO NUTJOBS" "THAT'S JUST GOING TO GET US LUMPED IN WITH ALL THE ROSWELL LOSERS." "AH, I SEE." "OKAY." "SO WHAT DO YOU WANNA DO?" "WE SHOW THEM THIS" "A PHYSICAL PIECE OF EVIDENCE." "I'M THINKING IF YOU CAN GET THIS IN THE HANDS OF SOMEONE," "LIKE A-- LIKE A LAB OR SOMETHING." "YEAH." "YEAH." "SOMEONE WITH AN ELECTRON MICROSCOPE." "RIGHT?" "(laughs) 'CAUSE I'M THINKING" "WHOEVER TAKES THE FIRST CLOSE LOOK AT YOUR SOY SAUCE" "IS GONNA HAVE A BROWN STAIN DOWN" "THE BOTTOM OF HIS LAB COAT A SECONDLATER." "YES!" "MAKE THAT THE STORY." "HELL, LET 'EM SEE THE EFFECTS THEMSELVES." "JUST FEED THAT SHIT TO A LAB RAT AND WATCH THE FUN BEGIN" "WATCH THAT THING START LEVITATING AND SPEAKING FRENCH!" "AND YOU'RE" " YOU'RE WILLING TO RISK EVERYTHING?" "YOUR LIFE, YOUR FAMILY?" "BECAUSE, I MEAN, BEST CASE SCENARIO," "YOUR CAREER AS A JOURNALIST IS GONNA BE OVER" "BECAUSE THIS IS ALL ANYONE'S EVER GONNA REMEMBER YOU FOR." "AND DON'T FORGET THAT THERE MAY BE PEOPLE OUT THERE" "REAL PEOPLE-- WHO DON'T WANT THIS OUT." "OH SHIT." "COME ON, WONG." "I'VE BEEN AROUND." "WONG, I'VE BEEN AROUND." "MY FIRST YEAR OUT OF JOURNALISM SCHOOL," "I GOT KNOCKED COLD COVERING DEVIL'S NIGHT FOR THE "DETROIT TRIBUNE."" "THAT WAS 1984." "I WOKE UP WITH MY CAMERA BUSTED ON THE PAVEMENT," "BLOOD RUNNING DOWN MY SHIRT," "A BIG FAT COP STANDING OVER ME" "AND HE SAYS, "STAY DOWN, NIGGER."" "SO I THINK I KNEW THEN WHAT I WAS DOING THIS JOB FOR," "AND IN THE YEARS SINCE" "WHAT?" "WHAT, WONG?" "THEY, UH" "THEY CALLED YOU THE N-WORD?" "WHY ON EARTH WOULD THEY DO THAT?" "WHAT?" "IS THAT SOME KIND OF JOKE?" "(laughing)" "WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?" " OH MY GOD." " HEY!" "HEY!" "HEY, ASSHOLE, ANSWER ME!" " OW." " WHAT?" "!" "I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN." "DESCRIBE YOURSELF TO ME, ARNIE" " PHYSICALLY." " TELL ME WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE." " OH, NO NO NO NO NO NO NO." "YOU'RE FUCKING WITH ME." "'CAUSE TO ME YOU'RE NOT BLACK, ARNIE." "TO ME YOU'RE A SLOPPY WHITE GUY" "IN A RUMPLED CORDUROY JACKET WITH A TAPE RECORDER." " (laughing) - (exhales)" "(footsteps departing)" "(crickets chirping)" "YOU THINK THERE'S SOMETHING IN THERE, ARNIE?" "COME ON, ARNIE." "(sighs)" "OPEN IT." "THE SOONER YOU DO, THE SOONER WE CAN MOVE ON." "(gasps, breathes heavily)" "I'M SORRY, ARNIE." "I REALLY AM." "YOU DID THIS TO ME." "YOU DID THIS TO ME." "YOU KILLED ME, YOU SON OF A BITCH!" " LOOK AT YOUR BODY, ARNIE." " (sobs)" "THE ONE IN THE TRUNK, I MEAN." "YOU'VE BEEN DEAD FOR DAYS." "I THINK SOMEONE GOT WIND" "THAT YOU HAD CONTACTED ME AND THEY TOOK YOU OUT." "I'M REALLY SORRY ABOUT THAT." "I'M NOT A FUCKING GHOST." "THIS IS BULLSHIT." "THIS IS BULLSHIT." " (car door opens) - (sighs)" "THIS IS MY FAULT, ARNIE." "NOT JUST YOU GETTING KILLED AND ALL," "BUT" " BUT THIS" "THIS HALF-LIFE YA GOT." "I DID THIS." "I PROJECTED YOU." "IT'S THE SOY SAUCE." "IT'S THE ONE THING IT LETS ME DO." "I'M THINKING YOU GOT KILLED RIGHT AFTER WE TALKED ON THE PHONE." "YOU KNOW HOW WHEN YOU TALK TO SOMEONE ON THE PHONE" "YOU SORT OF IMAGINE WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE BASED ON THEIR VOICE?" "WELL, WHEN YOU GOT KILLED," "YOU IMMEDIATELY ASSUMED THE SHAPE OF WHAT I" "THIS CAN'T BE." "I CAN'T." "I DON'T ACCEPT IT." "I GOT KIDS." "I GOT A VACATION COMING UP IN JUNE." "I'M GOING TO ATLANTIC CITY." "I GOT TICKETS." "YOU'RE IN THE DENIAL STAGE RIGHT NOW." "THIS IS ALL NORMAL." "SHUT THE FUCK UP, WONG!" "NOW!" "I REFUSE TO BELIEVE" "THAT I AM ONLY HERE BECAUSE I POPPED OUTTA YOUR IMAGINA... (pops, hisses)" "(sighs)" "I'M SORRY, ARNIE." "I REALLY AM." "HA!" "RING IT UP!" " 274 TO 137!" " (ball bouncing)" " AH." " IF YOU WEREN'T COUNTING EVERY BASKET AS 137 POINTS," "THEN YOU'D BE UP TWO TO ONE." "WAS THAT THERE BEFORE?" "John:" "I KINDA SEE INTO IT." " Dave:" "YEAH." " (chuckles) I CAN SEE PEOPLE." "IT'S A HOLE TO ANOTHER DIMENSION, I BET." " John:" "WANNA GO THROUGH?" " Dave:" "NOT REALLY." "MMM." "AFTER THIS POINT." " (bounces) - (warbles)" "YOU JUST TOSSED OUR BALL INTO ANOTHER UNIVERSE." "Dave:" "YEAH." "MY BAD." "SO DO I HAVE TO GO GET IT?" "John:" "NO." "THIS IS A MAN'S JOB." " WHOA!" " (warbles)" " Dave:" "OH GOD." "HERE WE GO." " (portal warbles, zaps)" "John:" "HEY, DAVE." "WHERE YOU BEEN, MAN?" "I'VE BEEN WALKING AROUND FOR LIKE TWO HOURS." "TIME MUST MOVE DIFFERENT HERE." "I CAME RIGHT AFTER YOU." "AT LEAST IT'S COOLER HERE." "(woman rasping) YOU!" "UNSTAINED!" "HOW?" "!" "(chittering)" "(snarls)" "(whooshing)" "(booms)" "I AM SERGEANT VANCE McELROY OF THE HUMAN LIBERATION ARMY." "PROPHECY HAS FORETOLD THE COMING OF STRANGERS FROM ANOTHER WORLD." "IT IS AN HONOR TO MEET YOU." "I MUST CONFESS I DO NOT KNOW FROM WHERE YOU CAME," "BUT I CAN TELL BY LOOKING AT YOU" "THAT YOU HAVE NOT BEEN INFECTED WITH THE GREAT DISEASE." "I ASSUME WE SHARE A COMMON ENEMY." "IF YOU CANNOT DEFEAT HIM, THEN ALL HOPE FOR MANKIND WILL BE LOST." "GENTLEMEN, THE WINDS OF DESTINY HAVE BLOWN US TOGETHER." "A BRIGHT DAWN IS ABOUT TO MARK THIS LOST AND BROKEN WORLD." " TYRANNY WILL FOREVER BE OVERCOME WITH" " John:" "YEAH YEAH YEAH." "THAT'S VERY INTERESTING," "BUT TO PERFORM THIS TASK" "WE'LL NEED A NUMBER OF ITEMS FROM OUR WORLD." "SO YOU MUST LET US RETURN THERE" "AND COME BACK TO BEGIN OUR QUEST." "IT IS GOOD THEN." "WE SHALL AWAIT YOUR RETURN." "BUT AS YOU DEPART, KNOW THAT WE OF THE H.L.A. RESISTANCE" "WILL ALWAYS AND FOREVER BE IN YOUR DEBT," "FOR BOTH OF YOU MARK ALL THAT IS GOOD AND PROMISING." "AND THE FACT THAT ALL GOOD..." " (distorted speech) - (dramatic music playing)" "(rock music playing)" "♪ THIS IS HOW I'M FEELING ♪ THERE IS A PAINTER ♪ ANGEL DE WOMAN ♪ SHE CLEARLY SAID "NO"" "♪ HE IS LISTENING TO EVERYTHING I'M SAYING ♪ ♪ FEELS LIKE THIS MOUNTAIN ♪ DANTE FINALLY RAN ITS STRIDE ♪" "♪ BUT THE ROOT OF ALL THAT IS ♪ ♪ HIDDEN IN THE MIDDLE ♪ HIDDEN FOR THE FACT THAT IT TORE HIM APART ♪ ♪ WHAT ABOUT THAT SMACK BEING ♪" "♪ TOSSED AROUND LIKE CATTLE?" "♪ ♪ TOSSED AROUND MY MIND ♪ IS OFFICIAL CHRISTENING" "♪ I HEAR THEY'RE COMING BACK ♪ ♪ I HEAR THEY'RE COMING BACK ♪" "♪ I HEAR THEY'RE COMING BACK ♪ ♪ I HEAR THEY'RE COMING BACK ♪" "♪ A VERY IMPORTANT FACT ♪ IS THAT HE NEVER LEFT ♪ SO HOW CAN HE COME BACK?" "♪ THIS IS HOW I'M FEELING ♪ THERE IS A PAINTER ♪ ANGEL DE WOMAN ♪ SHE CLEARLY SAID "NO"" "♪ HE IS LISTENING TO EVERYTHING I'M SAYING ♪ ♪ FEELS LIKE THIS MOUNTAIN ♪ DANTE FINALLY RAN ITS STRIDE ♪ ♪ BUT THE ROOT OF ALL THAT IS ♪" "♪ HIDDEN IN THE MIDDLE ♪ HIDDEN FOR THE FACT THAT IT TORE HIM APART ♪ ♪ WHAT ABOUT THAT SMACK BEING ♪ ♪ TOSSED AROUND LIKE CATTLE ♪" "♪ TOSSED AROUND MY MIND ♪ IS OFFICIAL CHRISTENING" "♪ I HEAR THEY'RE COMING BACK ♪ ♪ I HEAR THEY'RE COMING BACK ♪" "♪ I HEAR THEY'RE COMING BACK ♪ ♪ I HEAR THEY'RE COMING BACK ♪" "♪ A VERY IMPORTANT FACT ♪ IS THAT HE NEVER LEFT ♪ SO HOW CAN HE COME BACK?" "(music fades)" "(bell tolls)"

"Previously on Chasing Life..." "Who is this?" "That girl is our half-sister." "Natalie Ortiz." "We've got nothing in common except the fact that we share a dad." "Since your cancer has returned this aggressively and this quickly," "It's much more serious." "They can't lay you off because you're sick." "It's down to you and Danny, but you could have grounds for a lawsuit." "So then Danny will be out." "I quit." "The donation process is anonymous" "And you're probably their only hope." "So I could save their life?" " We have a match." " Finally." "As you go through all of this" "To find your own closure about your dad, I can be here for you." "You think Dominic couldn't possibly wanna date me for real?" " Will you marry me?" " Yes." "Where's my research, Abbi?" "I'm working on it." "Work faster and if you're sick, don't come in tomorrow." "Nobody has time for that." "I asked for the re-write on the D.A. Candidate front-runners over an hour ago." "No, you didn't, Raquel, but I just sent it to you." "You're welcome." " Bitch." " I heard that." " Hey." " Hey." "I'm heading out." "You up for a last-minute dinner?" "Oh, I can't." "I have to do a follow-up on that interview regarding the D.A. Race." "Probably about a few more hours." " I'll meet you at home?" " You bet you will." "Mmm." "I can't wait." "Morning, sunshine." "How you feeling?" "I'm enjoying this chemo way more than the last batch." "We should be sure to remember" "The vintage for future reference." "A blend of toxic tannins with a less nauseating finish." "Maybe we'll serve it at our wedding." "Ooh, yeah." "About that..." "No take-backs, sorry." "Who should we tell first?" "Well, assuming you haven't already texted Beth like a million times." "I haven't." "I'm not hungry." "You want my breakfast?" "Neutropenic pre-packaged banana loaf?" "Yes, please." "Come in." " Hey!" " Oh." "Dominic." "I knocked." " Dimples." " Hey, Leo." "You didn't have to get me a teddy bear, thank you." "I heard about what happened at The Post." "I wanted to see how you were doing." "You know me, down but never out." "I have at least another month here, though." " How's Graham?" "I miss him." " He's good." "Really good." "Want me to leave you two alone for a bit?" "I can step out." "No, no, no, I should go." "I gotta get to work." "What's with the tape, though?" "Hmm?" "Uh, this is a ring." " We're engaged." " That." "Yes." "That's..." "Congratulations!" "All done." "Great, okay, mom." "Now can you give the downstairs bathroom a once-over?" "I'll give you a once-over." "What was that?" "I said I'll give you a once-over." "For the past three days we have scrubbed every surface in this house." "It needs to be completely disinfected for April." "No germ could possibly live here and I don't blame them." "I'm home." "Run, April, the house could kill you!" " What is she talking about?" " Ignore her." " April!" " Welcome home, kiddo." "Why are you guys home so early?" "She barely waited for them to discharge her." "I wanted to make it home before Brenna left for school." " How are you feeling?" " Lucky." "This round wasn't as bad as the last one." "It's gotta feel good to be done with the hospital for a while." "Yes, but I have to go back tomorrow for some blood work" "And to get the results of my biopsy to make sure the chemo did what it was supposed to." "And then before my transplant..." "We get hitched." "I can't believe you guys are really getting married." " We really are." " Really?" "Did you think we weren't?" "I assumed it was the chemo." "Like when I have a couple glasses of wine at bridge" "And I agree to see more of Pearl and then I don't." "I know it sounds crazy, but it is definitely happening." "Do you wanna help me unpack" "Upstairs?" "Yes, sure." "Am I the only one who thinks this is a bad idea?" "I mean, I can't blame April." "Leo's rich and strapping, with those broad shoulders" "And blue eyes that just..." "Mom, can we please not objectify the girls' boyfriends?" "What about their fiances?" "Whom April has known for only six months." "Four of which were spent in a coma." "Look, since she told me, I've been talking to George" "And right now this is bringing her happiness and hope through her treatment," "Which is good for her recovery." "And the rest of her life?" "She's wearing bio-hazard tape for an engagement ring." "She's not gonna go through with it." "No matter how great Leo is, April is still April." "I think she's gonna make the right decision." "Okay." "I've never been so happy not to be in a bed." "At least we know the floor's clean." "Yeah, well, it was." "Ew." "So your grandma seemed pretty surprised" "That we were really getting married." "I honestly can't believe my mom's so cool with it." "If it helps, my parents have been plenty weird." "Not really." "I think it was when I asked them for the generations-old" "Hendrie family ring my great-grandmother left me for when the time was right." "Hey, I've never been a big flashy ring girl." "I'm perfectly happy with my tape." "Oh, good." "So I can just" "Give this back then." "No, I mean, it would be rude for you to give it back now." "Of course." "Wow, oh, my god, it's stunning." "Let's see." "Let's give it a try." "Oh, it fits." "My parents want to talk to your mom about wedding plans." "They want to throw us an engagement party this week." "For the first time in a long time," "I feel like the luckiest girl in the world." "Damn, granny Hendrie." "Lady had some taste." "I know." "You're the first one I'm showing it to." "I can't stop looking at it." "Well, you'd better like it 'cause it's your engagement ring." "Oh, by the way, I started looking at dress options." "Found a few you might like." "Between that and work," "I'm sorry I didn't make it to the hospital last week." "And Denver the lumber-sexual had nothing to do with that?" "He's definitely way more like the guys I used to date." "That's probably a good thing post-Graham." "And how are you, post The Post?" "It's tough." "Last time I was in the hospital," "I knew I would see everyone eventually." "Now who knows who I'll keep in touch with since I won't see them every day." "Does that apply to everyone there?" "You mean Dominic?" "I haven't talked to him since the teddy bear incident." "I hate how he found out about the engagement." "I feel so bad." "He seems fine." "I see him all the time with Natalie." "You should call him." "It's probably better if I didn't." "Don't you do it." "I'm getting this one and the next million after this." "You don't have to do that." "You took the bullet for me during layoffs." "You saved my ass." "I never could've done that." "It was the right thing to do." "I still never would've done it." "If the shoe were on the other foot..." "nope, I promise you," "I really wouldn't." "So thank you." "So does this mean you're giving up on journalism?" "No way." "I'm gonna have my transplant in a few weeks." "And then, in about four months, hopefully I'll have my old life back." "In the meantime, I need your help." "What can I do?" "Can you just get the word out that I will be looking?" "I want to set up some informational interviews" "And start a foundation for my big return." "I knew you couldn't stay away for long." "I'm sorry I'm late." "Did I miss anything?" "Just blood." "Lots and lots of blood." "Well, I was waiting at home for you at home." "Oh, sorry." "We came straight from my place." "Which is very clean." "I promise." "Sorry." "Hey, Sara, have you talked to my parents?" "No, why?" "They just want to talk to you about some wedding plans" "And an engagement party they wanna host this week." "This week?" "Isn't that so nice of them, mom?" " Oh, I forgot." "Look at this." " I know." " Wow!" "Dr. Hamburg, I was just showing my mom this." "Wow, it's beautiful." "Congratulations." "Thank you." "Are you doing that thing where you pretend to have bad news?" "Your oncologist does that?" "Wow, she's way more playful than mine." "Wait, is this really bad news?" "The chemo didn't do what we needed it to do." "April, you're not in remission." "Fortunately, you're not neutropenic, so you won't have to stay in the hospital." "We can closely monitor you as an outpatient" "While we figure out what you want to do next." "Okay, so more chemo then?" "What do we..." "Mom, stop." "I just..." "Gimme a minute." "I need a minute." "April, it's going to be okay." "Dr. Hamburg said that there are clinical trials." "This is just... it's a setback." "That's all." "April, hey, hey, look at me." "I need a sledgehammer." "You can't destroy mass medical again." "How did it not work?" "What if the clinical trial doesn't work?" "You heard Hamburg." "I'm can't get a bone marrow transplant until I'm in remission." "Okay, okay, come with me." "You know, being up here always helped" "Put things into perspective." "What are you scared of?" " What do you think?" " Say it." "Why?" "Because you can't keep fighting it." "We're all gonna die, April." "I'm not ready." "But you have this time now to get ready." "Most people, healthy people, they spend their entire lives" "Being scared and inert." "When I was sick, once I accepted the fact that the tumor was going to kill me," "That's when I started to live." "How did you feel when I asked you to marry me?" "Amazing." "And alive." "Focus on living like that." "Come on, trust me." "it's okay." "If you were to fall off this roof right now," "What regrets would you have?" "At the end of the day, that's the most important thing to focus on." "Live your life like you know you're gonna die." "Hi." " Everyone, say hi to April." " We wish you were here, kiddo." "Hi, honey, we're gonna save you a piece of cake." "Who wants some champers?" "You see how I cut to Natalie in the scene?" "This is so cool." "And I'm glad she was there." "And that she didn't get you drunk." "Yeah, I know things have been weird between you guys lately" "Because of the whole Dominic thing, but she was awesome." "It wasn't the same without you, though." "Stop that face." "No, this is just a little setback." "I wanna hear more about you." "How's Greer?" "Well, we talk pretty much every day." "I thought that Charton would suck without her, but it's kinda great." "Oh, I'll show you." "Me and ford joined Charton's film club." "I've learned to do some editing with my fancy camera." "Hey, Brenna." "Do you need someone to film?" "Who's that?" "Oh, that's just Erika." "Everyone thinks that we should be dating" "Because she's basically the last out lesbian at Charton." "But she's not even in film club." "She's just always popping by." "Sounds like she likes you." "She's pretty." "Eh, she's no Greer." "Hopefully, in like 10 or 15 years," "I'll find my Leo." "Or your Leah." "At least I have the heroin to keep me company." "Um..." "Just kidding." "It's not heroin." "It's just the shots I have to take a few days" "Before my big stem cell donation." " Are you scared?" " Kind of." "Dr. Hamburg asked me" "If I wanted updates on how it goes with the recipient." "I mean, I want to know if things go well." " But..." " If it doesn't?" "Aren't most kids your age worrying about prom dresses" " And acne medication?" " Right." "I mean, I don't know." "Maybe I don't want to know." "Maybe it'll be worse not knowing." "I don't know." "I just..." "I don't want to have any regrets." " April." "Hey." " Hey." "When'd you get out of the hospital?" "Is everything okay?" "Yesterday." "And yes and no." "Come in." "the reason I'm here is that I don't want to lose you from my life." "We're not gonna see each other at the Post every day." "And I miss you." "I miss our friendship." "I know things haven't been great between us and I take full responsibility for that." "I'm sure you regret asking me out in the first place." "Hey, hey." "I have absolutely no regrets about you being in my life." "I want you in my life" "If you'll have me." "Deal." "Hey, Dom." "April." " How are you?" " Great... ish." "Fortunately for you, you're off the hook for now." "Looks like my cancer kicked chemo's ass this time." "So I won't be getting a transplant anytime soon." "Oh, god." "I'm sorry." "Yeah, well..." "I'm gonna get going." "You probably need to get to work." "Hey, I don't have to work until this afternoon." "We're the only two people I know that have nowhere to be before 10:00 a.m." "Wanna hang out?" "I've sent out like 20 resumes and nothing so far." "Didn't you just get out of the hospital?" "Yeah, but since I'm not going back anytime soon," "I may as well keep my career on track." "And journalism is a tough business." "The longer you're off the radar, the harder it is to get back on." "Honestly, I'm just not that great with idle time." "What?" "No." "When I was in school, I could barely take a sick day without a shame spiral." "And my mom could barely keep me in school." "Way too much to see and do." "And that was just first grade." "You sound like Brenna." "Thanks for looking out for her, by the way." "I'm a girl of my word." "How do you guys do it?" "Not give a damn?" "Yes." "People are way more self-involved than you think." "Look around." "Everyone's on their phones, in their heads." "Distracted from all the fun they could be having." "Look at these guys." "They're having a blast." "Yeah, but they're..." "Come on." "Yeah!" " You look ridiculous." " I don't care." "I woke up today, fasted and" "I have a job interview this afternoon, so I think a transfusion will help." "Have a seat here and I'll be right back to get you started." "Thank you." "Sorry." "I didn't know if you..." "I thought that..." "I just wasn't sure you were okay." " I was meditating." " Cool." "I'm done with this if you want it." "The obits?" "I'm good." "Can't believe there's nothing better to read in here, right?" "I like reading the obits." "Cool." "We have a couple hours." "I'm Vanessa." "Tell me about yourself." "I'm April." "I'm a journalist." "I used to work at the Boston Post, but I had to quit." "Fortunately my friend Danny set me up with an interview at this place called Site-Geist." "It's like an internet news media company..." "I asked about you not your job." "Who are you?" "Um..." "Well, I'm April Carver." "And" "I'm..." "I have this interview, so I should probably get ready for it." "So all of this is a bit of a whirlwind, right?" "I mean, they've only known each other a little while." " Kids can be impetuous." " Yeah, they can be." "Except April isn't." "She just..." "She just never has been." "This is a good idea, right?" "Well, they both seem very intent on it." "Has Leo given you any insight as to what prompted this?" "He loves your daughter." "And we know from experience, when Leo was terminal, he did all kinds of crazy things." "April is not terminal." "She just had a minor setback is all." "It's not like it's her dying wish or anything." "No, no, no, we're not saying that." "Leo explained that this idea came about just after April relapsed." "And well, she was talking about maybe never seeing her own wedding." "And..." "I think you're wrong." "So Danny speaks very highly of you." "How do you know Danny again?" "We both went to Harvard." "He was crazy competitive." "Sounds like Danny." "And he always tried to sleep with me." "Also sounds like Danny." "I'm impressed he survived Black Tuesday at The Post." "I was at The Sentinel for a few years, but they scaled back, too." "So I'm sympathetic to the situation you're in, professionally and medically." "I appreciate that." "And I just want you to know that" "With what I have ahead of me medically," "I can still cover a lot of ground from home." "Which is great with us." "Our office is really come and go as you please." "So here at Site-Geist, we're putting out content daily," "Covering some world and national news," "But the bulk of our work is producing info-taining quizzes and lists." "It's the way of the future." "I read your samples and I'm already a huge fan." "So the job is yours if that's a line of journalism you're comfortable with." "I am a journalist and I can do whatever I'm hired to do." "Great." "Whoo!" "I got a job." "And special thanks to Danny for hooking up the introduction." "I'm just glad Jasmine doesn't hold a grudge." " She was all over me in college." " Uh-huh." "So where are we going, by the way?" "For the next two hours, nowhere." "I've always wanted to ride in one of these, so I figured, why not tonight?" "Of all things you could do to celebrate." "That's my girl." "And then Dom got us into a show at the Sinclair." "Yeah, what can I say?" "I know people." "So, Denver." "Tell me, how did you two meet?" "At Bukowski's Tavern a few weeks ago." "You wanna hear something really funny?" " Always." " Well, like, the night we met." "I wasn't even going out to hook up or anything." "I'm usually chilling at like, Backbar, Deep Ellum." "And then just like, boom." " That's crazy, right?" " what?" "Come on, let's go dance." "Come on." "Dance!" " God, I hate this song." "Hey, hey, listen." "Does that voice sound familiar?" " I don't think so." " Oh, come on." "Come on. ♪ fickle, fickle, little heart ♪" " That's her?" " This is who?" "Who is this?" "It's this horrible singer Dom and I heard perform." " She's on the radio?" " Apparently she's arrived." "She sucks." "When'd you guys hear her?" "It was our first date, right?" "Sort of." "He invited me to the show because he said he was reviewing her." " But he wasn't." " Oh, pretty sneaky, Dom." "We actually had a little sneaky first date too, right?" "Remember we stole that car?" "You guys really stole a car?" "That's fly!" "You can say we're like the Bonnie and Clyde of cancer." "Yeah, nice." "Leo loves stealing things." "Hey, I think it's time we all pole dance." "So boys first." "Gupta, shake your ass." "♪ Twerk it, twerk, twerk, twerk ♪" "♪ just like Miley, you can work it ♪" "♪ twerk it, twerk it, do it, yes ♪" "♪ yes, do it, twerk it, twerk it... ♪" "Did you get up early today?" "Yeah, I had some Site-Geist homework and then I have a meeting there this afternoon," "But I need to hit the hospital first." "Are you still mad about last night?" "I'm not mad." "I'm just surprised." "What was he doing there in the first place?" "You guys are obviously not dating anymore." "You're not co-workers." "Well, he's dating my half-sister." "And I want to be friends with Dominic." "Is that a problem?" "Morning, you two." "Am I interrupting something?" "No, grandma." "I don't have a problem" "If I don't have anything to worry about." "Do I?" "Morning." " Everything okay?" " They're not fighting." "no." " April, got a second?" " I'm actually on my way out." "Can we talk later?" " Well..." " Wait a minute." " Here." " Did you make my lunch?" "Have a good day, babe." "Thank you." " Hey, Leo." " Yeah." "Since we're gonna be family soon, I'm gonna give you a little tip." "Keep the toilet seat down, okay?" "You're in a house full of women." "So this morning I'm getting coffee and the guy asks for my name." "And I'm like, "Erika." "With a 'K.'"" "And he's like, "got it, with a 'K.'"" "As he's writing it with a "C-K."" "That's so frustrating." "Anyway, I was thinking about hitting the south end." " Wanna come?" " I have film club." "Oh, right." "What about this weekend?" "I have my sister's engagement party and just all of this family stuff." "Is this film club?" "It will be." "I'm the only one here so far." "Oh, no worries." "I'm Margo." "I'm mentoring for the next couple of weeks." "I actually used to go here, but I just graduated from Emerson film school last semester." "Awesome." "You know, I could really use your help." "I'm gonna go." "Have a great weekend." "Yeah." "You too." "So how can I help you besides ditching your friend?" "Was it that obvious?" "I'm sorry." "I don't want to bother you." "I'm just new to all this filmmaking stuff." "I can still help you." "Okay, well, my sister has cancer" "And she just got some more bad news this week," "And I want to make her something special" "For her engagement party, which is tomorrow." " Ummm" " Yeah, welcome to my life." "You know, I actually made a short documentary about cancer in West Africa." " You've been to West Africa?" " For a semester." "There's a total lack of awareness and resources there for treatment and research." "Are you sure you went to Charton?" "I guess I wasn't your typical Charton student." "Yeah, neither am I." "Well, I think I could help you with some ideas for your sister." " Hi, Vanessa." " How'd your interview go?" " I got the job." " Congratulations." "Thank you." "And about what you said before when you asked me who I was." "What I should've said is I'm someone who puts great value on her career" "And doesn't apologize for it." "I thought of that later." "And wished I'd said it then." "I was an EMT for seven years." "Probably saved a dozen lives." "And then I got cervical cancer and had to lose all my reproductive organs." "Cervix, ovaries, fallopian tubes." "All gone." "So I decided to be a little selfish." "Stopped saving other people's lives and started saving my own." "Since then I've been to every state in the US." "Even Oklahoma." "And I've visited 19 countries so far." "I'm enjoying my life." "Because I read these obits and you know what I realized?" "For most of us, what we do for a living is gonna be like one line in it." "That's it." " Hmm." " Hmm?" " These are good." " Good." " But not great." " Really?" "I did a lot of research for the "10 ways to resolve the Israeli-Palestinian conflict."" " It's substantiated." " But it's not fun." "Substantiated's great, but at Site-Geist, facts don't have to come first." "Or at all." "I thought this was still a news organization." "What is these days?" "Our job is to give people what they crave." "Which is fun things that are tweetable." "Oh, and GIFs." "I can help you with that." "You know?" "Let me sent you some of our more successful ones." ""26 reasons why Katy Perry thinks she's Katniss Everdeen." that looks fun." ""Thirteen reasons why Lena Dunham is not the voice of our generation."" "Getting that one down to 13 was not easy." ""Seventeen ways people look like their poodles."" "It's really funny..." ""Thirty-seven regrets April Carver would have" "If she died tomorrow."" "I can't believe you published this." "Read number seven." ""she would regret working at Site-Geist and making up lists just to keep her title of journalist."" "That couldn't have gone over too well." "I can scratch off number fifteen off my list." ""She would regret never getting"..." "April Carver got fired from a job?" "I'm trying something new." "I love it." "Wow, babe, you look stunning." "We both do." "And you know you're not dying tomorrow, right?" "I don't." "But neither do you." "And I was thinking if I did," "What would my obit say?" ""April Carver graduated from Vassar." "Published reporter at the Boston Post." "Engaged."" "That's it." "Best friend to Beth Kingston." "Hello." "You know what else it could say. "she never traveled." "She didn't have any hobbies." "No interests."" "That would be one of my biggest regrets and I want to do something about that" "Before it's too late." "Something that matters." "I know you will." "God." "I can't believe my best friend is getting married." "I would never have imagined in a million years that this would be your life." "Like I said." "I'm trying something new." "And it feels really scary." "But that makes it feel right." "Well, you're marrying into the Hendrie dynasty." "By the way, would you and Leo consider adopting me?" "They're not that rich." "Are you sure?" "I feel like they are." "I'm just glad she found the one and that they're going to have a happy life together." "I'm sorry, what is the bachelor?" "Hey." "Why don't we go explore?" " Here?" "Nah." " Come on." " That's not a good idea." " Why not?" "Because this is April's party." "I don't want to be disrespectful." "Barkeep!" "Hey, how you doing?" "There they are." "April, this is Leo's... no, no." "No." "Sorry." "I'll go." "April, I'm Leo's cousin Tripp." " This is my father Malcolm." " So nice to meet you both." "You as well." "And to be honest, we know absolutely nothing about you." "Oh, well, April is a very successful journalist." "In fact, she just got the most wonderful job at a place called..." "Zeitgeist is it?" " It's a pun." " Site-Geist." "I got fired." "Fired?" " How's Aunt Kathy doing?" " She's good." "Well, there are other jobs." "I'm actually thinking about putting journalism on hold for now." "I'm just wanna focus on the wedding and the present." "Would you excuse us for a second?" "I know what you're doing and you can just stop." " You mean the wedding?" " I mean everything." "I mean, the wedding." "Your career." "What's next?" "Your will and bucket list?" "You're giving up." " I am not giving up, mom." " You think you're going to die," " Because you had a setback." " This isn't about the setback." "I can't keep living in fear." "I need to accept the fact that I'm dying, and it's time I started acting like it." "You're wrong." "Before, I couldn't even consider the thought without feeling pissed off or depressed," "But my perspective has changed." "You can still get the transplant." "You can have your normal life back." "I don't want it back." "I could be so fearless when it came to my job." "But in my personal life, I always played it safe." "I was the good girl." "And if I continue to make my life all about that and my career," "I'm gonna miss out on so much." "I can't live like that." "And I don't wanna die like that." "I know this is probably the hardest thing that I could ever ask you, mom." "I need you to accept that, too." "Mom, look at me." "Look at me." "I'm okay." "I'm not sad about it." "This is my life," "And I don't want to die," "And I don't want to stop living my life." "I just need to start living it differently." "Hi, April and Leo." "I wanted to get you something awesome to celebrate your engagement," "But I'm young and poor so this is the best I could do." "So here you go." "Congratulations!" "Advice for a happy marriage?" "Hmm..." "Never go to bed angry." "How the hell would I know?" "Pool long-term assets, diversify." "I've heard something about communication being important." "Congratulations, you crazy kids." " Uncle George!" " April, I always knew that you'd get married before me." "I'll see you all at the wedding." "You hurt my friend, Hendrie, I'm coming for you." "Always take marriage seriously." "I wish you both a long lifetime of happiness." "Stay within your means." "Seriously." "Good luck, you two." "When April was born..." "My entire outlook on life changed." "And I'd been warned about this from friends who had children," "But I never believed it possible." "To have your worldview shift so drastically, so quickly." "But ultimately" "And in every way," "For the better." "I learned to embrace and savor" "Every moment with my daughters," "Because you only get that opportunity" "With each one of them once." "And before you know it, they're their own people." "Congratulations, April and Leo." " Good night, you guys." " Good night, Beth." "Nah." "It's not a good idea." "I don't want to be disrespectful." "You know, I think you're a little drunk." "And I think you're still in love with April." "What?" "Ever since you found out that she was engaged, you've been weird." "And now that she's out of the hospital and back in your life, you've been even weirder." "I really have no idea what you're talking about." "For once I need to feel like someone's first choice." "She's getting married." "You should have said, "no, I'm not in love with her."" "Not "she's getting married."" "That's not what I meant." "Look, I was getting kinda bored in this relationship anyway." "Why don't you leave?" "I'm done." " Get some sleep." "We'll talk tomorrow." " Whatever." "If this can get me through months in the hospital, it can definitely keep you entertained for five to seven hours of your donation." "Fingers crossed." "Have you thought any more about the recipient?" " Do you want to know?" " I do." "I'm choosing to believe that whoever it is, they will survive this." "And if they don't, I can handle it." "I get one daughter out of the hospital, only to have to take another one in." " Okay." "Okay." " We're late." "Let's go." "Bye, mom." " Bye, Ape." " Bye." " Bye." " Good luck, Bren." "Thanks." "What'd you forget?" "You okay?" "Do you wanna talk about last night?" "I'm fine." "For the hundredth time." "Well, what are you doing today?" "I'm staying in and getting organized." " See?" "You're not fine." " Stop." "I have these boxes that Sara gave me from my dad's storage unit" "Just sitting here collecting dust." "I'm gonna go through them." "Well, call me if you need anything." "Bye." ""My name is Timothy Carson." ""I have two families, who know nothing about each other." ""this is the story of how I lived my life" "And planned my death.""

"MAN:" "All right, so watch your step." "(laughing) WOMAN:" "Where are we?" "Oh, you are gonna love this!" "Oh." "All right." "Oh, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn." "Yeah, I got you." "(laughs) Okay, okay." "And, ah..." "Are you ready to have your mind blown by the awesomeness that is surrounding you right now?" "Oh." "No way!" "Nathan Roberts, are you recreating our first date?" "Happy Aluminum Anniversary, baby." "You are one of a kind." "Thank you." "Well, come on." "We don't have a lot of time." "All right." "(chuckling):" "All right, okay." "Wait until you see what I got planned next." "Oh." "(laughing)" "Hello?" "Let's just leave the money on the counter." "Yeah, but I-I don't have any change." "Hello?" "Hey, we just want to pay for the... (gasps)" "Oh, my God." "He's dead." "♪ NCIS 14x07 ♪ Home of the Brave Original Air Date on November 15, 2016" "== sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man" "♪ ♪" "Hello?" "Oh." "How you girls doing?" "You hungry this morning?" "Wait." "He called you here, too?" "Hey." "Yeah." "What's, uh, going on?" "BISHOP:" "No idea." "He said he'd tell us everything when he got here." "ABBY:" "The suspense is killing me, like, literally." "A fortune teller told me once that I would die of suspense, so this is dangerous." "Welcome... beautiful people of NCIS!" "Senior!" "Ah, let's go!" "Bring it in." "Oh." "It's so good to see you." "Senior!" "How you been?" "It's been too long." "What'd you call us all here for?" "Is it about Tony?" "I know we've been talking about trying to visit him lately." "Well, I'm going to be joining Junior and my beautiful granddaughter for Christmas." "They're having such a blast in Paris, they've decided to stay indefinitely." "Yeah, we heard." "We're so happy for them." "I'm still feeling a lot of suspense here." "Oh, forgive me, Abby." "Uh, I, uh, asked you all to come here because I have big news." "Junior has decided to lease his apartment, and he's asked me to act as his landlord." "A Mr. Roper, but with class." "Wait." "So this place is available?" "Uh-huh." " How much is the rent?" " Oh, it's very reasonable, but, uh, there is one catch." "Uh... fish don't, uh, travel well across the pond." "Oh, I will be the best fish mom." "(laughs) Uh, really, Abby?" "Because growing up, they called me "The Fish Whisperer""" "They did not." "They did." "No, they did not." "They did." " No." "They did not." " They did." " Uh-huh." "They did." "I, uh..." "I was thinking that before I took out an ad, I'd check with the family." "Are any of you interested?" "ALL:" "I am." "Wow." "Any chance of you sharing the place?" "ALL:" "No." "Ah." "(phone ringing)" "Excuse me." "Yeah." "Uh, yeah, Bishop's with me right here." "All right, we're on our way." "Dead sailor on Tate Street." "ABBY:" "Well, my work doesn't start until after the crime scene, so you and me-- we could go get a Caf-POW!" "and talk." "Uh, Abby, Gibbs said to get your butt in the lab." "Got to go." "Okay." "I'll see you later." "Uh, maybe we could reach a nice group decision?" "Come on, Bishop, you've barely been in your apartment a year." "Yeah, but for that rent in Dupont Circle," "I would break my lease in a heartbeat." "I don't care how nice the apartment is." "You couldn't pay me enough to pack my life up again." "What nice apartment?" "I've been looking for weeks." "Hey, guys, what nice apartment?" "GIBBS:" "Duck and Palmer hit traffic." "What do we know?" "Victim is Seaman" "Troy Willis." "He's 23." "Worked in the security department at the Navy Yard." "He lives a few blocks from here." "Got a nine-millimeter shell casing here, boss." "And a footprint." "It's faint, but pretty clean." "Find out who that belongs to." "There's a security camera, but it's pointed at the register." "It's out of the range of the body, but I'm sure if we looked at it, we'll find something on the footage." "McGEE:" "Store owner is on his way here, and once he gets here, we'll get the footage." "What?" "What?" "What are you looking at me for?" "Nothing." "What?" "So you were the first one on the scene?" "Yes." "Conducted a field interview." "But I see your people are doing the same." "Yeah, but it helps to compare notes." "Right." "Armed robber entered." "Seaman Willis was a customer who got shot trying to stop him." "They remember anything about the shooter?" "Those two?" "No." "They walked in after the incident." "Everything we know came from an account given to 911." "Who made the call?" "An employee working the night shift." "Uh, name is Victor Medina." "The couple tried to stop him from leaving, but he bolted right before the EMTs showed up." "The guy is M.I.A." "They said Medina had blood on his hands." "Stopped in the back office on his way out." "Hey, door's locked." "When the owner gets here, we'll have him open it." "There's blood on the shelf." "Maybe where he got the towel from." "Medina told 911 this was a robbery gone bad." "TORRES:" "But then why did he clean himself and run?" "He has something to hide?" "McGEE:" "All right, Gibbs is gonna be here any minute." "We ready with the update?" "BOLO's out on Victor Medina, and" "Quinn is doing general background." "(whistles)" "TORRES:" "Alex Quinn." "What?" "McGEE:" "Quinn, you okay?" "You've been looking at Gibbs weird all day, and now you're looking at Gibbs' desk weird." "(laughing):" "No." "It's my subconscious-- it cracks me up sometimes." "Yeah." "I-I had a-a dream about Gibbs last night." "Oh, I totally get it." "Was it the one where he tells you to grab your gear, and then, your gear is gone?" "No." "McGEE:" "Wait." "Is it the one where he cooks you a steak, but it's raw inside, but you eat it anyway because he's staring at you?" "No." "Not that kind of dream." "Oh." "Oh." "TORRES:" "Oh." "Oh." "Ooh." "Oh, it's like sexy things were happening?" "Yes, you could say that." "I need details." "I don't think I want to know." "Oh, I want to know." "I actually do want to know very much." "QUINN:" "It started so innocent." "I was sitting here, I was working." "He was there, and he comes over my desk, and he knocks on it like this, and says," ""Do you know what kind of wood that is?"" "But the desks are Formica." "(Bishop scoffs)" "It was a dream, Tim." "Let the woman finish!" "Come on, come on." "Just get to the sexy part." "That's when it got crazy." "GIBBS:" "Give me an update." "Let's go." "(clears her throat)" "Uh, our missing liquor store attendant is Victor Medina, 32 years old." "Yeah, he used to be a Marine." "And will always be." "Medina received a Silver Star for his actions during an ambush in Afghanistan." "He also did a tour in Iraq." "Honorably discharged in '06." "Four months later, he got into a bar fight." "He was convicted of assault, sentenced to a year, served six months." "Stayed clean ever since." "According to Medina, our victim, Seaman Willis, was shot by a robber." "QUINN:" "Medina told 911 that the shooter was wearing a mask and driving a white sports car." "But the blood and the weapon we found in the office, plus the fact that Medina fled the scene...." "That makes his story sound like B.S." "Weapon?" "Uh, Abby's got it, along with the slug and the casing." "She's running ballistics." "Boss, Medina is a Marine, uh, victim's Navy." "There could be a connection." "Yeah, look into it." "BISHOP:" "BOLO paid off." "Pennsylvania State Police picked up Medina at a bus station in Bedford County." "Yeah, go." "Take Torres with you." "DUCKY To sleep, perchance to dream." "Ay, there's the rub." "For in that sleep of death what dreams may come when we have shuffled off this mortal coil, must give us pause." "Ducky?" "Ah, Alex." "I was just having a chat with Seaman Willis here about the significance of dreams." "You've heard?" "Heard what?" "Uh, Alex uh, had an imaginative dream about our Jethro." "JIMMY (laughing):" "Oh." "I totally get it." "Is it the one where he knocks on your desk and asks what kind of wood it is?" "How on earth did you know that?" "Oh, come on." "Look at the man." "If you haven't had the wood dream about Gibbs, you are not alive, am I right?" "Yeah, let's move on, shall we?" "I already have." "DUCKY:" "Yes, well, the cause of death is a single gunshot wound that nicked his aorta." "He simply bled out, and these contusions-- they suggest a struggle." "He's also broken several ribs here." "Must have been one hell of a fight." "DUCKY:" "No, no, no, you-you misunderstand." "These rib injuries are consistent with someone doing CPR properly." "Someone struggled to keep him alive." "Well, Victor Medina was the only one there immediately after the shooting." "DUCKY:" "Well, if Medina was trying to save this young man's life, that would also explain how he came to have blood on his hands." "The nine-millimeter that you found is definitely the murder weapon." "It's unregistered, there's no matches in the system, there's no prints." "The bullet is interesting." "It's Swiss-made, enhanced accuracy." "Moving on." "Abbs, you okay?" "Yeah, I just want to get through this so you guys can leave." "Trying to get rid of us?" "(clinking)" "Swiss bullet." "Moving on." "This is the footage from the store's security camera immediately following the shooting." "It shows the activity at the counter." "There's nothing there." "ABBY:" "Oh, yes, there is." "There's a light that hits the counter." "Once twice-- wait for it-- three times." "What does that tell us?" "There's a lit sign on the front door." "So every time the door is opened, the light from the sign hits the counter." "That door was opened three times immediately following the shooting." "Medina said there was only one robber fleeing the scene." "ABBY:" "Exactly." "So, is he lying?" "Or were there more people there than he told 911?" "These are the kind of questions that you should be asking yourselves somewhere other than here." "Oh, one more thing." "I also enhanced the footprint at the crime scene." "Looks like part of a brand name." "ABBY:" "Yeah." "It was etched in by hand." "These puppies are handmade and expensive." "You make out the name?" "No." "But I will find that out." "Good-bye." "Abigail, here I am, as promised." "Ah," "McGee, what a nice surprise." "Gibbs." "Ah." "How are you?" "Chief, what are you doing here?" "Wait a second, that's why you're trying to get rid of us-- so I wouldn't see you buttering up Senior about the apartment." "ABBY:" "How dare you." "Senior is here to help me track down this shoe brand." "I do have superior knowledge of, uh, luxury footwear." "Since when do you need help tracking down anything, Abby?" "I can't even look at you right now." "Senior, I trust you to make the right choice." "ABBY:" "McGee!" "You've seen my apartment!" "It's so tiny" "I barely have room for my dog collars!" "Apartment thing's a minefield." "How you gonna decide who gets it?" "I was hoping you would have some words of wisdom." "Nope." "BISHOP:" "Abby did what?" "Well, is it working?" "Okay, thanks, McGee." "Yeah, keep me posted." "(sighs) Abby's playing dirty." "But McGee's no better." "He'd crawl through a sewer to get that place." "Let me ask you a question, how does one get in on this apartment thing?" "Look, uh," "I have to tell you, um, there was a murder in that apartment." "That's why Tony was able to afford it." "And I know how you feel about dead bodies in potential living spaces..." "Nick, it was a bloodbath." "A bloodbath, huh?" "Well, for that kind of rent in Dupont Circle," "I, um..." "I'd get over it pretty quick." "CORNELL:" "Agent Bishop, didn't think you were coming." "To our own party?" "Well, state troopers made it sound like you weren't available for the transfer." "So I came up from D.C. to get him." "I was just headed up front to fill out the paperwork." "Well, we're here, and we're taking Medina into custody." "I'll take you to him." "Thanks." "I was stocking shelves." "Guy walked in with a mask, said he wanted the money in the register." "The sailor-- he was right next to the guy." "Wrong place, wrong time, you know?" "What happened after that?" "Sailor charged the guy." "Before I could get to them, I heard a gunshot." "The shooter ran out." "Surveillance shows the front door opening three times." "Yeah." "I went out after him." "Practically laid myself on the hood of the car trying to stop him from leaving." "He peeled off anyway." "That's how you knew it was a white sports car." "Yeah." "And after that, you went back inside?" "I called 911." "Then this couple walked into the store, and I saw the weapon." "You found it?" "Yes." "It slid under one of the shelves." "I locked it in the office so no one else could get hurt." "And then you left the scene." "Victor, if what you're telling us is true, what are you doing in Pennsylvania?" "Boss, just talked to Abby." "She looked at photos of Victor Medina's shoes." "None of 'em match our footprint." "Yeah, different size, different tread." "And we had a witness from across the street from the liquor store come forward." "They saw the robber arrive and leave, wearing a mask, just like Victor Medina said." "Yeah, his story checks out." "Medina's telling the truth." "MAN:" "Special Agent Gibbs." "Yeah." "Officer Baldwin." "Immigration." "You issued a BOLO for Victor Medina." "He's a witness to a murder, yeah." "GIBBS:" "Our murder." "What do you want with him?" "I'm the reason he's running." "As a witness to your murder, he knew that you would dig into his background, turn up his secret." "What secret?" "Victor Medina has squandered his right to be in this country." "I'm here to deport him." "Victor Medina was born in Mexico." "One year later, his parents moved the family here, legally." "Father passed away." "Mother continues to live here on a green card." "Medina needed a green card to join the Marines." "Well, he had one." "But, 2006, he got out of the corps, committed a crime, became deportable." "For getting in a bar fight?" "Federal immigration law, ma'am." "One-year sentence made his conviction an aggravated felony." "Well, then tell me, sir, why didn't you deport him then?" "Government agencies don't always communicate as effectively as we'd like." "Your BOLO put him back on our radar." "Tell you what, this makes zero sense." "Kid signs up to protect this country but doesn't apply for citizenship?" "Well, back when Medina joined, a lot of guys thought citizenship was automatic once they took their oath of enlistment." "These days, the military makes a point of encouraging them to apply, but..." "Cases fall through the cracks." "Because nobody is perfect, right?" "QUINN:" "Officer Baldwin, we've cleared Medina of this murder." "He was on the ground in Afghanistan in a United States uniform, for God's sake." "Look, I'm doing my job, just like you." "As soon as he gets here," "I'll need you to transfer custody." "Is there nothing we can do?" "Got it, boss." "Yep." "On it." "What'd he say?" "Excuse me." "Did the cops give you my stuff?" "Personal effects?" "Yeah, we got 'em." "Can I get my compass back?" "No." "We got to turn everything over to Immigration when they take custody." "Hmm." "Compass looks old." "It was my dad's." "Feels weird not having it in my pocket." "Damn." "What's wrong?" "It's not pointing north." "Cops must've dropped it or something." "I have a friend." "She could probably fix it for you." "MEDINA:" "Thanks." "So, cops said you were headed to Ohio." "Pro Football Hall of Fame?" "My mom lives outside of Youngstown." "I knew how this was gonna end." "Just wanted to say good-bye." "Nick, turn the car around." " What?" "The man needs to see his mom." "Are you crazy?" "That'll take all night." "Gibbs told us to take our time and do some good." "That's why he called." "I am not going to Ohio." "Well, darn it." "(clicks tongue) Really sucks for you, because I just got the urge to sing." "♪ She'll be comin' 'round the mountain when she comes ♪" "Okay, you promised you weren't gonna sing in the car anymore." "I'm not stopping until you turn the car around." "♪ She'll be comin' 'round the mountain when she comes ♪" "Come on, Victor." "BOTH: ♪ She'll be comin' 'round the mountain ♪" "♪ She'll be comin' 'round the mountain ♪" " Really?" "♪ She'll be comin' 'round ♪ Now both of you are singing?" "♪ The mountain when she comes ♪" "♪ She'll be comin' 'round the mountain when she comes ♪" "♪ She'll be comin' 'round the mountain, she'll be comin' ♪" "♪ 'Round the mountain... ♪ All right, all right, all right!" "All right, I'm turning around." "I'm doing it." "Just stop singing." "All right, got it." "You know, um, Tim, until we come to a group decision," "I don't know if it's right for you to be in here." "I'm just getting some specs for Delilah and I in case we're lucky enough to get the place." "We've got to get this group meeting on the books." "You know, Mr. DiNozzo, I was gonna tell you," "I don't think anyone is gonna willingly give this place up." "Think you're gonna have to make a decision." "Which reminds me, there's something" "I wanted to tell you about." "Oh." "What is it?" "I finally proposed to Delilah." "Oh." "You did?" "I did." "It was... it was epic." "It was amazing, you know?" "My-my beautiful girlfriend is now my beautiful fiancée." "Oh." "Let me show you this, too." "Oh." "I'm-I'm over the moon for you, Tim." "Aw." "This album is wonderful." "Kind of a photographic journey of our love story." "It's a story that I think could really... really bloom in this apartment." "What are you doing?" "Changing the subject." "(sighs) Cassano." "That's the brand of shoe that made your bloody footprint." "How do you know this?" "I confirmed it with my shoe broker." "Cassanos are rare, Italian, and handmade." "Everything a man could want on his feet." "All right, well, I'll get that to Abby." "And I am just gonna leave this right here." "In case you want to take a peek at that for any reason." "Abbs, what are you doing?" "I'm getting a neodymium magnet for repolarization." "For the what?" "Um, this is an old PC hard drive." "And inside of it is a very strong magnet called a rare-earth magnet." "When Victor gets back," "I'm gonna get his compass from him, and I'm gonna use this to fix it." "That is, before" "ICE swoops in and takes him away like some angry pelican." "(phone rings)" "Ah, speak of the devil." "Well, I'm glad you ignored that because we have things to talk about." "Victor isn't the only decorated veteran to face deportation." "This is Hector Barajas." "He's an Army vet that was deported in 2004." "He started a support house for other deported veterans in Tijuana." "Yeah, called the Bunker." "You know about it?" "Yeah, I know about it." "Gibbs, some of these deportable crimes, they're so minor." "And these guys are not even offered an immigration attorney." "And they have lives and families" " Abbs, - and children here..." "I'm agreeing with you." "Yeah." "Okay, this is really sad." "Let's talk footwear." "Thanks to Senior, we know that this brand of shoe is called Cassano." "I've never heard of that." "It's a rare breed." "It's only sold in two shops in the area." "So I cross-referenced people who bought Cassanos with people who own white sports cars, and... (keys clack)" "And you got a list of suspects." "Yep." "Three, to be exact." "I'll send them to you." "Great work, Abbs." "Get them to Quinn and McGee." "Mijo." "I can't believe you're here!" "Look at you." "(Medina laughs) Hi, Ma." "Why didn't you come?" "We shouldn't stay long." "I told you:" "Gibbs told us to take our time and do some good." "So, what, give him, like, ten, 15 minutes to say good-bye?" "(scoffs) That's real compassionate, Nick." "Well, we still have a case to solve back home." "Come in, come in." "Listen, Ma, I need to talk to you about something." "Don't be rude, mijo." "Introduce me to your friends." "Ma..." "There's something I got to tell you." "I'm going away for a while." "What?" "Victor, why?" "I, uh..." "He's deploying, ma'am." "Deploying?" "I thought you were out of the Marines." "MEDINA:" "I, uh..." "I was." "They, uh..." "It's an advisory position, uh... and your son is very good at his job." "We need him." "I'm Torres." "I'm one of his recruiters." "And this is my colleague, Bishop." "Where will you be taking him?" "Is it dangerous again?" "It's classified, ma'am." "When will you be home?" "I don't know, Ma." "My son." "The brave Marine." "Let me feed you before you go." "Are you hungry?" "Actually, Mrs. Medina, we have to..." "We're starving." "Nice house." "Ooh." "Yeah." "A palace of a luxury realtor." "Quinn." "Hmm?" "What the hell is wrong with you?" "What?" "Nothing." "McGee could use some help running down those other two suspects." "NCIS." "We're here to speak to Phillip Conway." "Well." "Hello, Agent Mrs. Robinson." "Oh, just go get your father." "I know the shoes you're talking about." "Ill-fitting." "I threw those out... must have been a year ago." "We're gonna need to see your car." "The white sports car, yes, yes." "But like I said, I was hosting a broker's open that night." "Now, about that Swiss 9mm ammo you asked about" "I can't say for sure if I have it, because I don't keep a detailed inventory." "An inventory?" "I'm a collector." "All the drawers, cabinets you see are filled with ammunition." "Whoa." "Well, you really were not kidding." "You know, I would like to apologize to you for the way my son looked at you when you walked in." "I think he's got a bit of a crush." "Oh..." "Uh, yeah, uh, well, if you can just get us the, uh, names of the brokers that might have seen you at that open house." "Of course." "Thank you." "Okay." "Can we hurry up?" "Rich people creep me out." "Do you know what kind of wood this is?" "What?" "Do you know what kind of wood this is?" "It's oak." "Oh." "Quinn, I said it was oak." "Yeah, it's oak." "You were right, McGee needs me." "He needs m..." "So, you stay here." "And I'm gonna go work with McGee." "What'd I say?" "QUINN:" "McGee." "Hey, I thought you were with Gibbs." "No." "He started knocking on some wood and I had to get out of there." "This is becoming distracting." "What are you gonna do?" "I don't know." "Maybe I'll ask him to eat some bologna with a fork." "My ex-boyfriend used to do that." "Instant turn-off." "Is this the place?" "Yeah." "Hard to believe a guy with fancy shoes and a sports car lives here." "You know what, I think that's him." "Arthur Jankowski?" "NCIS." "We need to speak with you." "Whoa, stop!" "He's not that fast." "We got him." "Oh, no, we don't got him." "Okay, what do we got?" "McGEE:" "Well, boss, escapee is Arthur Jankowski." "Thought we had him, but we were not prepared for the rocket ship with wheels around the corner." "QUINN:" "Guy's a convicted identity thief, but apparently three years in prison didn't scare him straight." "His latest victim is quite the score." "World-renowned author Mason Moffett." "Boss, this guy writes the most amazing horror books." "I swear, I read Headstone Highway and I did not sleep right for a month." "Jankowski stole Moffett's identity and started diverting his royalty checks into hidden accounts." "We searched Jankowski's place." "He's definitely enjoying Moffett's money." "Lot of high-end items." "Like a laptop, and Abby's going through it now." "No Cassano shoes, but there's a good chance that he's wearing 'em." "So, and, uh, what about you?" "Did you find anything in the rich guy's gun room?" "No Swiss ammo." "And I searched those cabinets and drawers." "By myself." "Oh." "And his alibi-- it checks." "W..." "Uh, suspect number three, boss." "Number three, suspect number three" " Howard Lane." "He is a hedge fund manager whose Cassanos were never worn." "And he's got an airtight alibi for the night of the shooting." "Which brings us back to..." "Jankowski." "I like him for this." "Well, good." "Then find him." "Uh-huh." "Agent Gibbs." "We have phones, you know." "Well, none of your people seem to hear them ring." "Where's Medina?" "Not back yet." "I spoke to an Officer Cornell over at Metro." "She said your people picked him up in Bedford County yesterday afternoon." "Car trouble." "The hell you trying to pull?" "When Medina gets back here, you will be the first to know." "We good?" "Yeah." "No, no, no, my favorite thing in the world is cooking for people who eat." "Well, that will go down as one of the best meals of my life." "Yeah, Ma, thank you." "No, no, wait, wait, I will go write down the recipe for you." "That would literally make my year." "Yeah, the most my mom ever cooked was a bowl of cereal, so, uh, this was... this was quite a treat." "She's gonna ask us to stay for coffee when she comes back." "I wish we could." "But one cup of coffee never killed nobody." "No, no, I..." "I get it." "You guys have been so good to me." "I just..." "I want you to know something." "When I got in trouble-- that bar fight-- the guy was drunk." "He was yelling at his girlfriend, getting in her face." "It wasn't right." "I pulled him away... and it went from there." "Afterwards, they lied." "Both of 'em." "Said that I attacked him out of nowhere." "It was their word against mine." "I know I got myself in trouble." "But..." "I had a reason." "Victor, there are a lot of people who think what you're facing isn't right." "Us included." "I haven't been to Mexico since I was a baby." "(laughs)" "Hell, I don't even speak Spanish." "What am I gonna do?" "Hey, man take your time with your mom." "All right?" "I need to tell her the truth." "Ma?" ""'Why I Should Get the Apartment,' an essay by Eleanor Bishop"." "She e-mailed me that from the road." "You know, I really care about the three of you so deeply." "So equally." "Well, I admit that it is well-written, but I totally disagree with her thesis statement." "Abby, my love," "I came here to tell you that I've decided to draw a name." "It's the only fair way." "Oh, my God." "I'm so..." "lucky." "I love drawings." "I could-I could find a hat." "No, no, it's, uh..." "No need." "I've already recruited an impartial name drawer." "Oh, my gosh." "Okay, so, Dr. Mallard has rules about not using his hat for nonsense." "And I feel like this could be on the cusp, so we better do this quickly." "I'm gonna write down the names." "ABBY:" "Seriously, I can't remember when I've entered a raffle and I didn't win a prize." "This is awesome." "Abbs." "You working, you hosting a party?" "I am waiting for a ding." "So, McGee and Quinn were able to pinpoint the exact time and location when Jankowski sped off." "Followed him with traffic cams." "Yeah." "Um, I lost him after these shots, but I input his plate and his car stats into a program that's accessing the live feed from cameras within..." "I got it, Abbs." "You're waiting for a ding." "Exactly." "So, this is Jankowski's laptop." "Not only did he steal a famous author's identity, he wanted to be said author." "I-I found all kinds of really bad prose and I made you a few copies of his memoir." "Gibbs..." "I have to tell you," "I met your new agent, Quinn, on my way in." "Put a sparkle in my day." "I'll bet." "(computer dings)" "My ding." "Okay, got him." "Jankowski is outside the Moonbrite Motel on Wells Avenue in D.C. Thanks, Abbs." "All right." "The winner of the best apartment of anyone we know is..." "Torres." "What?" "!" "Who the heck is Torres?" "Look, I'm sorry that I ran from you guys." "But do I look like the kind of person that would shoot someone?" "No." "No, I don't." "You want to know where I was when it happened?" "I'll tell you, I was home alone... brainstorming." "That is the worst alibi ever." "You get to page 14 yet?" "Uh-uh." "JANKOWSKI:" "Oh, come on, man." "Haven't you ever heard of a first draft?" "It's not ready for public consumption." "You're supposed to ask permission before you just read someone's memoir." "You won't talk, how else are we gonna get to know you?" "QUINN:" "Well, we do know something about him." "I mean, it's supposed to be a memoir, it's supposed to be non-fiction." "Half this stuff is B.S." "GIBBS:" ""Shielding that child" ""from the bear's fangs was, dot, dot, dot, what anyone would've done."" "Did you just read an ellipsis out loud?" "He wrote it." "You're not supposed to verbalize it." "Gibbs." "Quinn is driving me nuts." "She's staring, she left a search, now she's in there talking about dots." "Well, actually..." "McGee, what do you want?" "Abby finished processing Jankowski's shoes." "They are Cassanos, but the wear pattern on the bottom does not match our footprint." "Not our guy." "Not our guy." "Hey." "This place is amazing." "The bathroom smells like blueberry pie." "You ready?" "Yeah, in a minute." "We just ordered some coffee for, uh, for the road." "Oh." "Uh, can you get me a corn dog, too?" "Oh, hell, yeah." "Wow." "(laughs) I appreciate the support." "No." "I just got a text from Jimmy." "I got the apartment." "What?" "Congrats, man." "Hey, thanks, man." "We got to celebrate." "You know, stop for a beer?" "I'm thinking up a toast right now." "Let's do it." "Uh..." "My mom again." "Do you mind?" "Go for it." "Hey, Mom." "Um..." "What are you doing?" "Uh, Jimmy had a drawing so I put my name down." "No, I'm not talking about the apartment." "Oh, I'm not gonna drink." "I just, I just thought it would be nice to buy him a cold one before they toss him over the border." "He shouldn't even have his phone." "Why did you give it back to him?" "He asked for it." "I don't get it." "I could barely get you to turn the car around, and now..." "And now I care?" "Yeah." "Bishop, this is exactly why I didn't want to turn the car around." "I got to know him, I... (sighs)" "I looked in his mother's face." "I have friends like him." "I have family like him." "I could have been him." "Look." "We did a good thing for him, and now it's time for us to do our jobs." "I don't want to be the one to turn him over." "Nick..." "Gun!" "Get down, get down." "Move, move!" "Stop!" "Damn it." "Stay inside, stay back." "(grunting)" "BISHOP:" "NCIS!" "A skillful shot indeed from young Eleanor." "Dead center of the heart." "She and Torres make quite a team." "What do we know about this guy, Ducky?" "JIMMY:" "His name is Carl Dixon." "He's a professional hit man with a rap sheet about a mile long." "He located Victor by tracking down his cell phone." "I go all that from McGee." "I was hovering." "If he's a hit man, who hired him?" "That's what they're trying to figure out upstairs." "Gibbs." "I called you." "Abbs, I was on my way." "Well, I can't wait." "So, I was starting to fix Victor's compass with my magnet, and this giant light bulb went off in my head." "So, Victor thought that his compass was broken at the police station, so I checked." "And the cops said that it was just sitting in an evidence bin the whole time, and never came anywhere near a magnetic field." "Then why isn't it pointing north?" "Because... before that, it did come in contact with rare-earth magnets, like mine, only way bigger." "The kind used in electric car motors." "Victor leaned over the car and stopped the shooter from leaving." "Yep." "And when he did, his compass was depolarized." "Now, Gibbs, there's only one of our three suspects that has a white sports car that's an electric prototype with rare-earth magnets in it." "Who is it?" "I already told you I was hosting a broker's open." "Didn't you speak to any of the people on the list I gave you?" "Yeah." "Your alibi is solid." "Then why are you wasting my time?" "BISHOP:" "Mr. Conway, how would you categorize your son?" "Excuse me?" "You pulled a lot of expensive strings to make his record go away." "I would categorize your son as a bored rich kid, destroying property for kicks-- only this time, he got bolder." "Bored rich kid robbing a liquor store." "He probably didn't mean to kill anyone, but things got a little out of hand, and he knew his dad would clean up after him." "Same as always." "But you were smart." "You got rid of the shoes he was wearing." "Got rid of the ammo he used." "That's a great story." "It's not true." "Name Carl Dixon ring a bell?" "No?" "'Cause he's the hit man you hired to take out the only witness to the murder." "Carol Dixon's dead." "We're tracking a payment deposited into his account." "And we're pretty sure it's gonna lead right back to you." "BRANDON:" "You can't do this;" "I want my phone call." "I don't think your dad's gonna be able to pick up." "Well, just don't leave my stuff in the driveway." "The bags alone are worth more than you two combined." "You got a lot bigger problems than luggage, kid." "(scoffs)" "(door slams)" "You know, speaking of big problems," "I think Gibbs knows that something's up with you." "It doesn't matter, I'm over it." "Yeah?" "Yes." "He read an ellipsis out loud." ""Dot, dot, dot"." "It's almost as good as eating bologna with a fork." "He read the dot, dot, dot out loud?" "He read it out loud." "I mean, my Uncle Larry used to do that." "And now, when I see Gibbs, all I see is Uncle Larry." "So, thank God." "Well done." "Tell your friend thanks for fixing it, will you?" "Yeah, I will." "My mom, she told me to never take this country for granted." "She said it all the time." "She said," ""Home is a privilege."" "That's how I always saw it." "That's how I still see it." "(door opens)" "Victor." "Special Agent Gibbs." "I got a lawyer friend." "I don't know if keeping you home is a battle we can win, but I'd like to help you fight it." "These guys told me a lot about you on the trip here, sir." "The were right." "You ready?" "Hey, Marine." "Semper Fi." "Semper Fi." "(knocks on door)" "Yeah, it's open." "Hey." "Hey, just the man I wanted to see." "Hope you don't mind me dropping by like this." "Uh, I left that book for, uh, Senior." "Well, you know, it's kind of embarrassing." "Well, not as embarrassing as the apartment essay that Bishop wrote." " Oh, really?" " Yeah." "No, the book actually turned out quite nice." "Not bad at all." "Thanks." "I was gonna go home and, uh, show it to Delilah tonight, you know?" "Also, if, uh, you need any help with the surround sound wiring, glad to do that, help you out here." "I actually love doing that stuff, so." "Oh." "Hey, um..." "You know, um... when I joined this team..." "I thought, finally I'm going to be a real good guy." "You know, nobody really sees me like that." "But I actually like..." "I like doing what's right." "(clears throat)" "(keys rattling)" "So..." "What are you doing?" "Home is a privilege." "And, uh, I'm not ready for it yet." "But you are." "(door opens)" "(door closes)" "== sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man"

"How's that going?" "The mother's bawling and the uncle's pissed off." " She's not married?" " Divorced with four kids." "I guess father was helping out." "Helping out?" "Hey, Mr. Burke, they're in back talking to the bishop." " And father?" " We put him in the break room." "Any press?" "Some guy from the Citizen, but we sent him away." "None of the big papers." "Let's keep it that way." " Who's that?" " Assistant DA." "It's gonna be hard to keep the papers away from the arraignment." "What arraignment?" "You can tell father Geoghan I won't be much longer." "Now, Sheila, you know what good work the church does in the community." "I give you my personal guarantee that I'm going to take father out of the parish and this will never happen again." " We'll just be another moment, Paul." " Of course, father." "Now, Sheila, I'm going to give you my personal card." "Losing a good reporter is always tough." "But losing one of our best... uh, well, to put it as eloquently as I can, it's a real kick in the ass." "But Robby here has known Stewart longer than most of you have been alive, so I'll hand it off to him." "Robby." "Oh, well, thanks, Ben." "I think." "Although I take issue with your reference to my seniority," "I will say that Stewart's departure is especially painful for me." "Because for..." "what, Stewart?" "Twenty years now?" "Stewart's been more than willing to part with his money at the poker table." "And I've got a kid in college." "Yeah, but I'm gonna keep playing." "Oh, problem solved." "Godspeed then." "Now, Stewart, I find the timing of your departure disconcerting." "The corner office sits empty." "The new editor arrives on Monday." "So I'm sorry, buddy, but I gotta ask ya, what the hell do you know?" "How's the cake?" "It's really good." "Are you saving yours?" "Nah, it's for Mike." "I can never eat at those things." "They kind of depress me." "I know." "Did you see the numbers from Washington?" "Yeah." "Very interesting." "I think so too." "I'm not asking if the PD's lying." "I know they're lying." "All I'm asking..." "who's behind it?" "Uh-huh." "Okay, I get it." "You don't want to talk." "No, Dan." "I'm not mad, I'm hungry." "I've been talking so long I didn't eat lunch." "So I'm going to get something to eat." "That'll give you an hour to decide whether you want to be on the right side of this or read about it like everybody else." " Bye, Dan." " You think Cahill has something?" "Maybe." "I just don't think the story's for us." "Ben likes it." "Yeah, it's not bad." "It's just not Spotlight." "What's just not Spotlight?" "The PD numbers." "The numbers story." "It feels thin." "Oh." "You got Cahill to talk?" "No." "But I will." "Good." "Then we'll know if it's thin." "How'd it go upstairs?" "Okay." "Robby gave a good speech." "I'm sure he did." " I heard Lubin and Connor are going to the Times." " Come on." "Really?" "They're leeching us." "They're sending a guy from Miami to run things." "That should help." "Has Baron even spent time in Boston?" "I don't think he's been here before." "We should buy him a map." "A friend down in Miami said he cut 15% of the staff." "Great." "Hey, Robby." "New boss coming in to make some cuts?" "I have no idea." " Aren't you sitting down with him?" " Yes, I am." "So is it about Spotlight?" "I don't know, Mike." "But I do know that Ben needs an answer on the crime numbers story." "I'm telling you, I really don't think that story's for us." "Mr. Baron." "Oh." "Walter Robinson." "Robby." "Yeah." "Thanks for taking the time out of your weekend." "My pleasure." "Appreciate it." "Pleasure." "What are you reading?" "Uh, Curse Of The Bambino." "Ah, yeah." "It's a great book." "The Globe has season tickets at Fenway once you're settled in, by the way." "Thank you." "To be honest, I'm..." "I'm not much of a baseball fan." "I'm just trying to get a feel for the city." "Oh." "Yeah." "So you're originally from Boston?" "I am." "Born and raised, yeah." "A lot of the newsroom is from here." "It really feels like a..." "like a local paper in that way." "And did that change at all after the paper was sold to the Times?" "No." "No, I don't think that had a big impact." "Good." "And, uh, you're an editor for the Spotlight team?" "I'd prefer to think of myself as player coach, but yes." "Are you familiar with Spotlight?" "No, not particularly." "Well, we are a four-person investigative team." "We report to Ben Bradlee Jr., and we keep our work confidential." "What are you working on now?" "We just put out a piece on a shoddy construction outfit, and right now we're really just trolling around for our next story." "How long does that typically take?" "Hard to say." "Uh, a couple months." " Couple months?" " Yeah." "We don't like to rush it." "Once we settle on a project, we can spend a year or more investigating it." "Is that a concern?" "Not necessarily." "Um, but from what I understand, readership is down." "Internet is cutting into the classified business and, uh," "I think I'm gonna need to take a hard look at things." "So, you anticipate more cuts." "Uh, I think it's safe to assume so." "But, uh, what I'm more focused on right now is finding a way to... to make this paper essential to its readers." "I like to think it already is." "Fair enough." "I just think that we can do better." "Mr. Bradlee." "Hey." "Saw the PD numbers." "Looks interesting." "Yeah, there's something there." "How long do you need?" "Uh, another week." "Where are you going?" "To the 10:30." "Since when?" "Well, technically, I am an editor." "Technically." "Your sit-down with Baron go that well?" "I couldn't get a read on him." "That's a first." "How about you?" "Well, he's a barrel of laughs." " Morning, everyone." " Let's get started." "Do you want to say something, Marty?" "Uh, sure." "Uh, hello." "Uh, as most of you know by now, my name is Marty Baron." "I'm, uh, delighted to be here." "Um, if you could tell me your name as we go around, that'd be helpful." "Thank you." "Okay." "Peter?" "Peter Canellos, Metro." "I've got a major big dig closure." "Hey, Steve." "Mike." "Hey." "Crappy game last night, huh?" "Yeah, they can't hit worth a nickel." "Hey, listen, what's, um..." "what's Eileen McNamara doing in the 10:30?" "Do you need something, Mike?" "No, just curious." "Go be curious somewhere else." "I got work to do." "Okay, Steve." "See ya." "Yeah." "And it looks like Pedro's gonna be out till September 1." "Jimmy says he'll be back this year, but the Doc didn't seem so sure." "When's the Pats opener?" "Is that, uh, everyone?" " Yes, that's it." " Okay." "Good." "Thank you." "Uh, did everyone read Eileen McNamara's column this weekend?" "That's the Geoghan case?" "Yeah." "What's the folo on that?" "It... it's a column." "What kind of folo were you thinking?" "Uh, well, apparently this Priest molested kids in six different parishes over the last 30 years, and the attorney for the victims, Mr., uh..." " Garabedian." " Thanks, Eileen." "Mr. Garabedian says Cardinal law found out about it 15 years ago and did nothing." "I think that attorney's a bit of a crank." "And the church dismissed the claim." "He said, she said." "Whether Mr. Garabedian is a crank or not, he says he has documents that prove the Cardinal knew." "As I understand it, those documents are under seal." "Okay, but the fact remains, a Boston Priest abused 80 kids, we have a lawyer who says he can prove law knew about it, and we've written all of, uh, two stories in the last six months." "This strikes me as an essential story to a local paper." "I think at the very least we have to go through those documents." "How would you like to do that?" "Well, uh, I don't know what the laws are here, but in Florida, we would go to court." "You want to sue the church?" "Technically, we wouldn't sue the church." "We'd file a motion to lift the seal on those documents." "The church will read that as us suing them." "So will everybody else." "Good to know." "Gutsy call for the first day." "That's one word for it." "How do you think that's gonna play down front?" "I think Gilman's gonna shit a brick." " Hey." " Door." "How'd it go?" "Well, Baron wants to sue for the sealed docs in the Geoghan case." "He wants to sue the church?" "Hey, that's great." "Yeah." "We covered Geoghan when the story broke three years ago." "Baron was still in Miami." "He might have been at the Times then, actually." "He wasn't here." "So do you think that suit has a chance?" " Depends on the judge." " And what parish he belongs to." "Bradlee." "Yeah." "Okay." " Baron wants to talk to us." " Us?" " Okay, Joe." " Thank you." "Yes." "Okay, thanks." "I've set up a meeting for tomorrow with outside counsel." "Joe Albano?" "Yeah." "Who's the judge in this case?" "Um..." "Constance Sweeney." " Tough." " Why's that?" "Good catholic girl." "Huh." "So, um, judging from what I've read, it doesn't seem like we've done a very thorough investigation into the Geoghan case." " Is that right?" " No, it's not." "We looked hard at Geoghan." "David Armstrong from Metro, Michael Paulson for religion." "Okay, but, uh, just so I understand, beyond our daily coverage, we haven't... we haven't committed any long-term investigative resources to the question of whether or not Cardinal law knew about this." "No, we haven't." "And that's the kind of thing your team would do?" "Spotlight?" "Well, yeah." "But we're still prospecting the Boston PD story I told you about." " Could you set that aside?" " We could." "Marty, in past Spotlight's had success in large part because they pick their own projects." "Would you consider picking this one?" "I don't know if he's writing about you, but I will let him know you called." "Okay." "Bye." "Hey." "Hey, how'd it go?" "Okay." "Uh, Baron wants us to scrub the Geoghan case." " That's great." " Didn't we cover Geoghan?" "Yeah, there's a lawyer alleging Cardinal law knew about it." "Mmm." "Mitch Garabedian, right?" "Yeah." "I covered him at the courthouse." "Can you get to him?" "I only interviewed him once." "He's kind of a character." " I like characters." "I'll take him." " Good." "You take him." "Also, we should be talking to the lawyer who repped the victims in the Porter case." " Eric Macleish." "That guy was always on TV." "The Porter case?" "Remind me." "Yeah, uh... father Porter, similar story." "Molested dozens of kids in fall river about 10 years ago." " So we're dropping the Boston PD?" " I-I vote yes." "No." "We just gotta set it aside for now." "I don't need to tell you guys this." "We need to be more discreet than usual." "Everybody's going to be interested in this, not just the Herald." "We can't let Cardinal law get wind of this till we know what we have." "Good luck with that." "So when do you leave, Nana?" "The bus is picking us up in the church parking lot at 9:00." "We have 40 people going." "And is father Dominic going?" "No." "He says he's unlucky." "But luck has nothing to do with it." "You know, last time Nana won $160." "Wow." "You gonna tell her?" "We don't even know if there's a story yet." "Globe sues church?" "It's gonna be a story." "Hey, Lisa." "Could you pull all the relevant clips on that for me?" "Yeah." "Is this for Spotlight?" "Just drop them off when they're ready." "Thanks." "Excuse me." "Do you know where the publisher's office is?" "Will do." "How are you, Marty?" "Settling in?" "Yeah, I think so." "Good." "What can I do for you?" "Um..." "I'd like to challenge the protective order in the Geoghan case." "You want to sue the catholic church?" "Um... we're just filing a motion, but, uh, yes." "You think it's that important?" "Yes, I do." "Because obviously the church will fight us very hard on this." "Which won't go unnoticed by our subscriber base." "53% of them are Catholic." "Mm-hmm." "I think they'll be interested." "Okay." "Marty, lake street will probably contact you about a face-to-face with the Cardinal." " It's customary." " Yeah." "They already have." "It's set up for next week." "I wouldn't mention this." "Hello?" "Hello?" "Can I help you?" "Oh, hi." "I'm Mike Rezendes from the Boston Globe." "I'm here to see Mitchell Garabedian." "He's on a call." "Please have a seat." "Okay." "All right, I'm listening." "Go ahead." "Okay." "Bill!" "Where the hell are those papers?" "I asked you to put 'em on my desk!" "The famous Walter Robinson in my conference room." "Good to see you again, Eric." "Sacha Pfeiffer, Eric Macleish." "Nice to meet you." "Nice to meet you." "You don't play golf, do you?" " Uh, no." " Good." "Your colleague here took some money off me at a charity event last year." "It was a very lucky putt." "I actually had my eyes closed, by the way." "Mm-hmm." "So how can I help you guys?" "Uh, you're familiar with the Geoghan case?" "Sure." "Eighty Plaintiffs." "All of them individual cases." "Garabedian must be swimming." "Yeah." "And the allegations against Cardinal law?" "Yeah, it's tricky." "Um... this is what you need to understand." "These are shitty cases." "Um, the statute of limitations is only three years, and most of these victims don't come forward till long after that." " Oh." "Why is that?" " Well, they're kids, you know." "Uh, guilt, shame." "And most of these kids come from tough neighborhoods." "Nobody wants to admit this kind of thing." "So you're screwed on the time limit." "And, uh, even if you argue your way around that, the charitable immunity statute caps damages at 20 grand." "Twenty grand for molesting a child?" "That is the way the system is set up, yes." "The church is tough." "So your best shot is to try these cases in the press, uh, like I did on Porter." "Mmm." "But most of the victims, they don't want to have anything to do with TV." "And, uh, Mitch isn't exactly a people person." "Yeah." "And if Garabedian can't get his victims to go before the press, then he's really..." "that's right." "He has a long road ahead of him." "My guess is he doesn't have anything on law." "What?" "You think he's bluffing or..." "I think he's grandstanding to cut a better deal." "Seems a bit reckless." "Have you met Mitch Garabedian?" "I asked you to write up that motion, Bill." "I didn't ask you to file it!" "Mmm?" "Hey, Bill." "Hi." "Who are you?" "I'm Mike Rezendes from the Boston Globe." "I had an appointment with you about an hour ago." "I can't talk to you." "I'm very busy." "Sharon?" "She went out for coffee." "She said she'd be right back." "I'm following up on an article." "The one in the Phoenix?" "No." "In the Globe." " Did you see the one in the Phoenix?" " No, I didn't." "I thought it was very good." "I have a copy here somewhere." "That's all right." "I'll track it down." "I'm actually following up on a column that Eileen McNamara wrote about your suit." "Suits." "There are 84 of them." "It's not a class action." "You should get your facts straight." "No, you're right." "I should." "So I'm trying to get some background information on... you're not recording this, are you?" "Uh, no." "I wouldn't do that without asking." "I can't show you the church documents, if that's what you're after." " They're under seal." " Yeah, I know that." "Did you know they tried to bring me up before the Massachusetts board of bar overseers three times?" "They're watching me very closely." "The church?" "Yeah." "The church." "Yeah." "They'd like to get me disbarred." "In fact... put that away." "Put it away." "Sure." "I don't want you recording this in any way, shape or form." "Not on paper, not on tape, nothing." "In fact, I probably shouldn't even be speaking to you, so... look, Mr. Garabedian, I know there's things you cannot tell me." "But I also know there's a story here, and I think it's an important story." "I already talked to the Phoenix." "Yeah, and there's a reason I didn't see it." "Nobody reads the Phoenix anymore." "They're broke." "They don't have any power." "The Globe does." "If we cover this story, everybody will hear about it." "The church thinks in centuries, Mr. Rezendes." "Do you think your paper has the resources to take that on?" "Yeah, I do." "But if you don't mind me asking, do you?" "I can't talk to you right now, Mr. Rezendes." "I'm very, very busy." "Sharon?" "Thank you." "Yep." "Can I at least talk to some of your clients?" "The victims?" "I'd really like to do that." "Call me tomorrow." "I gotta think about it." "Yep." "Thank you." "Thanks." "I got more clips from the library." "Leave 'em right there." "Are you guys doing a story on the church?" "No, we are not doing a story on the church." "Matt, you find anything on this guy, Phil Saviano?" "No." "Who is he?" "He's part of a victims' organization." "Kurkjian did a story on him right after the Porter case." "There's a victims' organization?" "Yeah." "It's called SNAP." "It's, uh, Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests." " Crummy Acronym." " Mmm." "You want me to track him down?" "Yeah." "Bring him in." "How much longer you need to get through the clips?" "I mean, a few days." "There's a lot." "Lisa's still sending up more." "Okay." "Hey, guys." "I think I got another Priest." "Liam Barrett." "Molested some kids in Philly and was moved to Boston." "Did the same thing and was moved again." "Really?" "That sounds like Geoghan." "Is that one of our clips?" "Yeah." "Byline's Diego Ribadineira, 1997." "Must've been back when he was working religion." "Was there any folo?" "Not much." "One short piece." "Huh." "The church settled the case." "Don't you know Jim Sullivan?" "Yeah." "Why?" "Looks like the church brought him in to help out." "Jesus." "Has anybody but manny gotten the ball out of the infield?" "Nope." "Why do you even bother with that thing?" "It distracts me from the game." "Know what else is good for that?" "Oh, yeah." "Good idea." "My round." "I'll be right back." "Anybody want any food?" "No." " I'm all set." " Hey, a hot dog." "So, you guys making any progress?" "Absolutely." "It's a good story." "Why?" "'Cause you're another lapsed catholic pissed off at the church?" "We've got a lot of good stuff." "Like what?" "I'm just watching the game." "Omertà." "They got another Priest..." "Liam Barrett." "We reported on him." "I'm just saying, we did." "Okay, but this guy was shuffled around from parish to parish every few years, just like Geoghan and Porter." "I think there's a pattern." "Sounds thin." "What else you got?" "Sacha's got another guy from a victims' organization..." "Phil Saviano." "From SNAP?" "Oh, boy." "We reported on him too." "I thought you were watching the game, Steve." " That guy's pretty banged up." " We did a couple stories on him." "Guy would not stop writing letters." "He wants a Holy war." "What, so he's not worth talking to?" "Where are you on Garabedian?" "I'm working on it." "Robby says Macleish thinks he's bluffing." "I think there's something there, Ben." "Get me something solid, or I'm taking you off it." "I don't want us chasing our tails on this." "Stay away from that trap!" "You couldn't reach that trap in a million years, partner." "I've reached that trap before." "Yeah." "Now, Paul, maybe." "How we doing?" "We're good." "We're two up on the front." "Good." "How's that new editor working out?" "Well, he doesn't like baseball." "But, uh, he seems like a smart guy." "Yeah, I read an article about him." "Said he's the first Jewish editor of the Globe." "Must have been a slow news day." "He got a family, this guy?" "No." "He is not married." "Divorced?" "I don't think so, no." "So the new editor at the Globe is an unmarried man of the Jewish faith who hates baseball?" "Yeah." "Should have given it to Ben." "He's a Bradlee, for crying out loud." "Didn't raise his hand fast enough, I guess." "Hey, by the way," "I've been reading about this Priest, father Barrett." "Said you were involved with that." "Barrett, yeah." "Bad egg." "Lake street asked for help." "I pitched in." "Victim said Cardinal law knew about Barrett when he came from Philly." "Is that true?" "You know I can't talk about the case, Robby." "Well... off the record?" "Off the record, I can't talk about it." "All right." "This related to the lawsuit?" "You know about that?" "Look," "I don't know this guy Baron or what his agenda is." "Frankly, I don't care." "I just don't want to see you taking a bullet for him." "I think you're away." " Put it over here." " Let's go." "Let's go." "So the other day I was on the World Wide Web." "Anything you want to know, it's right there." "Now, I have to admit that as a Priest, this makes me a little nervous." "Should I be worried about job security?" "I don't think so." "You see, knowledge is one thing." "But faith..." "faith is another." "Hey." "Hey." "Shouldn't you be golfing or something?" "Golfing's not a verb." "And I couldn't get a tee time." "Is that what they call it?" "Tee time?" "They also call it a leisure activity." "You oughta try it, Mike." "I do." "I run." "Yeah." "You run to work." "So why are you here today?" "Going over these clips of Saviano." "Yep." "Ben and Steve think it's a dead end." "They gave me a bunch of crap about it at the game." "Yeah, Ben e-mailed me." "He did?" "Yeah." "He said we should let it go." "What do you want to do?" "I want to bring Saviano in." "So, just ignore those guys?" "I think we oughta start ignoring everybody on this one." "I'm good with that." "Well... do you think Marty has any idea what's coming down the pike?" "Nope." "I don't think he cares either." "That's refreshing." "Yeah." "Unless he's wrong." "I've always been fascinated with the newspaper business." "I used to sit in on the lectures with the neiman fellows when I was at Harvard." "I, uh..." "I read that you were an editor once." "Ah, yes." "Yeah, that was a very long time ago." "The Mississippi Register." "Small diocesan newspaper." "But for a 30-year-old pastor, it was a big responsibility." "Too much at times." "How so?" "I was close with the evers brothers." "We took a stand on civil rights." "Our readership was not pleased." "They saw me as a meddling outsider." "I can imagine." "Tough seat to sit in, especially in a small town." "I think you'll find that Boston's still a small town too, Marty, in many ways." "Hmm." "But if I can be of any help, Marty, don't hesitate to ask." "I find that the city flourishes when its great institutions work together." "Thank you." "Personally I'm of the opinion that for a paper to best perform its function, it really needs to stand alone." "Ah." "Of course." "But my offer still stands." "Thank you." "Come in." "Ah." "Thank you, Maureen." "A little gift, Marty." "Think of it as a Cardinal's guide to the city of Boston." "I'm here to see Sacha Pfeiffer." "Your name?" "Phil Saviano." "Okay, just a minute." "Mm-hmm." "So, am I the first survivor you've talked to?" "Yeah, Phil, you are." "Okay, well, first of all let me say thank you for having me in today." "And I want you to know that you have the full cooperation of my organization, SNAP." "How many members are in your organization, Phil?" "We had 11 at our last chapter meeting... uh, no, um, 10." "Karen just moved." "You had a woman in your group?" "Of course." "They don't discriminate, not when it comes to abuse." "And this has nothing to do with being gay." "What this is is Priests using the collar to rape kids." "Kids." "Boys and girls." "I was 11, and I was preyed upon by father David Holley in Worcester." "And I don't mean prayed for." "I mean preyed upon." " Are any of you catholic?" " I was raised catholic." "Now I go to my wife's presbyterian church." "I'm lapsed." "I go to church with my grandmother sometimes." "It's safe to say we were all raised catholic, but now... not so much." "Okay." "Well, let me tell you, when you're a poor kid from a poor family, religion counts for a lot." "And when a Priest pays attention to you, it's a big deal." "He asks you to collect the hymnals or take out the trash, you feel special." "It's like God asking for help." "So maybe it's a little weird when he tells you a dirty joke." "But now you got a secret together, so you go along." "Then he shows you a porno mag, and you go along." "And you go along, and you go along, until one day he asks you to jerk him off or give him a blow job." "And so you go along with that too because you feel trapped, because he has groomed you." "How do you say no to God, right?" "See, it is important to understand that this is not just physical abuse." "It's spiritual abuse too." "And when a Priest does this to you, he robs you of your faith." "So you reach for the bottle or the needle, or if those don't work, you jump off a bridge." "That's why we call ourselves survivors." "Have you read Jason Berry's book?" "He wrote about the Gauthe case in Louisiana." "That's G..." "G-A-U-T-H-E." "Here." "And talk to Richard Sipe." "He worked in one of the church's treatment centers." "He's an ex-Priest." "Married a nun." "Here." "This is his testimony from the Kos case." "Phil, what's a treatment center?" "It's where they send Priests when they get caught." "This is all here in the box." "I sent this to you guys five years ago." "Uh, to the Globe?" "Who did you send it to?" "I don't wanna say who, but they said they weren't interested." "But we did run a couple stories on you." "I saw them in the clips." "Yeah, but to be completely frank, it wasn't enough." "You guys gotta understand." "This is big." "This is not just Boston." "It's the whole country." "It's the whole world." "And it goes right up to the Vatican." "Do you have any proof of that, Phil?" "No." "Not yet." "But there are so many of them." "How else could they have hidden it for so long?" " So many what?" " Priests!" "Priests!" "I know of 13 right here in Boston." "You know 13 Priests in Boston who have molested children?" "Yeah!" "Why do you keep repeating everything I say?" "I just like to clarify things." "Maybe you should have clarified it five years ago when I sent you all of this stuff." "It's all right here." "May I use your bathroom?" "Yeah, sure, Phil." "Come on." "Well, what do you think?" "Well, the guy's got an agenda, that's for sure." "You think?" "He's obviously been through a lot." "But he's smart, and if he's right about 13 Priests... yeah, it might be a big "if" with this guy." "Do a background check on him." "And follow up with some of the other survivors of his group." "I'll track down this ex-Priest, Sipe." "Okay, but stay on Garabedian." "That's more important." "Ah." "Garabedian." "What a pain in the ass." "You can be a pain in the ass, Mike." "Mmm." "Mitchell, what a surprise." "How are you?" "I'm fine, Mr. Rezendes." "Good." "I haven't heard back from you." "I left you a couple of messages." "I've been very busy." "I-I don't have time for calls." "I'm sure you don't." "Listen, listen, Mitch." "Let me talk to a couple of the victims." "You could sit in on the interview." "If you're not happy, you could kill it." "I spoke to my clients." "They don't want to be in the press." "I'm sorry." "I get that, but I don't need to name names." "I don't believe you, Mr. Rezendes." "I'm sure you don't." "Listen, Mitchell." "Look, Mr. Rezendes, please..." "I'm not writing a profile here." "I'm working on something bigger." "Bigger?" "I don't know what that means." "I'm not supposed to tell you this, but I'm digging around for Spotlight." "Spotlight's on this?" "Yeah, we're looking into it." "But you gotta help me." "You gotta let me talk to some of these victims." "Please." "Please." "Come back tomorrow, 9:30 am." "Thank you." "Ms. Pfeiffer?" "Joe?" "Oh, shoot!" "That's okay." "Sorry." "Please sit." "Thank you." "Is this table okay?" "This is perfect." "I had a muffin while I was waiting." "Two, actually." "I eat when I'm nervous." "I do that too, actually." "I hope I'm not late." "Phil told me 1:00." "No, you're fine." "I got here early." "About an hour." "Um, would you mind if I took some notes?" "Would that be all right?" "You don't mind if I take some notes, do you?" " Are you gonna use my name?" " No." "Not if you don't want me to, no." "I just had a kid." "He's only one, but I'm not sure I want him to know about this." "Sure." "I get that." "You can stop this interview at any time, Patrick." "All right?" "Okay." "All right." "Go ahead with your notes." "Okay." "So, um... where'd you live when it first happened?" "In the projects, over in Hyde Park." "Over by the Stop Shop?" "Yeah." "You know it?" "Yeah, I drove a cab for a few years." "Open early." "Bad coffee, right?" "Yeah." "I guess." "How old were you when it happened?" "I was 12." "Just after my dad killed himself." "Oh, geez." "He was a real piece of shit." "And my Mom, she wasn't so stable either." "How do you mean?" "I mean she was nuts." "She was a schizophrenic." "Same shit." "When did you first meet Geoghan?" "Well, my sister, she saw him over in the Dunkin' Donuts." "Tells him about my old man passing, and he rushed right over." "This nun, sister Barbara, ran this group for kids from troubled families." "Mm-hmm." "Where was that?" "Uh, St. Ambrose in Dorchester." "Okay." "She's the one who introduced me to father Shanley." "He was a street Priest." "Long hair." "Very hip." "He invited me to his apartment in back bay." "Where in Back Bay?" "Beacon Street." "Beacon." "Okay." "Are you from here?" "Uh, no." "I grew up in Ohio, but my Mom's from Southie." "All right, so you get it." "I'd never even seen back bay." "So what happened on that first visit, Joe?" "Well, he was very nice at first, very funny, very casual." "And I think he could tell I was gay, so he showed me this mobile he had, like over a baby's crib." "Mm-hmm." "But with different words." ""Homosexual." "Transsexual." "Bisexual."" "Okay." "And did you know you were gay at that time, Joe?" "Yeah." "But that wasn't information I was sharing with anybody." "Not in Dorchester." "Okay." "So, what happened after he showed you the mobile?" "Well, I was a little freaked out." "I think he could tell." "So he said, you know, what'll help is if we play strip poker." "Of course I lost." "And, uh, things went on from there." "Can you tell me specifically what happened?" "Specifically, he... he molested me." "Joe, I think that the language is gonna be so important here." "We can't sanitize this." "Just saying "molest" isn't enough." "People need to know what actually happened." "We should probably get these to go." "Right." "Geoghan shows up, and my Mom, you know, she's... she's thrilled." "I mean, this was like God showing up, you know?" "Sure." "Right." "So what happened then?" "You really want to hear this shit?" "Yeah." "Yeah, Patrick, I do." "He offers to take me to get ice cream." "You know, he's a Priest, I'm a kid, so I go." "Sure." "So we're driving home and he... he starts patting my leg and... you know, then..." "His hand just slides right up and he... he grabs my dick." "You know, I..." "I just froze up." "I was fucking petrified." "I-I couldn't move." "I didn't know what to do." "I was just a little kid." "Yeah." "You know, I never even touched my ice cream." "It just melted down my arm." "Did you, um... did you see him again after that?" "Yeah." "All right." "That's good." "Let's stop there for now." "Sure." "He said it was a way to make me more comfortable with my body." "Mmm." "So what happened after that?" "Well, he took off his clothes and he said," ""I've been so depressed, but maybe you can cheer me up and give me a blow job."" "Classy guy." "And did you?" "Yeah." "I know you must be thinking, why would I ever do that to some creepy guy who's 30 years older than me?" "But what you have to understand is that this is the first time in my life that someone told me that it was okay to be gay." "And it was a Priest." "Right." "So you had oral sex." "Did you have intercourse?" "Yes." "Not then, but later." "It really messed me up." "I'm sober now, but that... that was the beginning of it all." "It's very confusing, you know, to be introduced to sex like that and then... and then to be attracted to men, it's..." "I'm sorry." "I knew I was gonna do this." "Oh, I'm sorry." "Don't be sorry." "It's okay, Joe." "It's okay." "Of course there is a church right there." "And a playground." "Joe, did you ever try and tell anyone?" "Like who?" "A Priest?" "Can I use your phone?" "Yeah, sure." "You know where it is." "You can use my name if you want." "Thanks, Patrick." "Don't thank me." "Just get these assholes, will you?" "He's one of the lucky ones." "He's still alive." "Do you want a cup of tea, Sacha?" "I'm okay, Nana." "Thanks." "Hello?" "Hi, Joe." "It's Sacha Pfeiffer." "Hi, Sacha." "How are you?" "I'm good, thanks." "Um, listen, Joe, I just wanted to follow up on one thing." "You talked to Phil Saviano about all of this, right?" "Yeah, I did." "I went to a couple of SNAP meetings." "And did Phil ever suggest you do anything about it?" "No." "The meetings weren't really about that." "A couple of them had gone to a lawyer, but I didn't think it was worth it." "Why not?" "There were just so many forms to fill out." "It was overwhelming." "And he said he could only get me a small settlement, so... wh-who said that?" "The lawyer told me that." "So you did go and see a lawyer?" "Yeah, but I didn't end up using him, so I didn't think it was important." "I'm sorry." "I'm not trying to hide anything." "No, I-I-I know, Joe." "Do you remember his name?" "The lawyer?" "No." "But maybe Phil would know." "The guy was on TV a lot during the Porter case." "He was handsome." "Was it Eric Macleish?" "Yeah, that's it." "Macleish." "I thought he was very handsome." " Hey." " Hey." "I was just in the newsroom." "Judge Sweeney set a date for the hearing." "Really?" "When?" "Two weeks." "In Springfield." "Oh." "Canellos started a pool." "Ten bucks to get in." "Anyone picking the Globe?" "He's only taking bets on how fast Sweeney rules against us." "Robby." "Hi." "It's me." "Did you get my message?" "I did." "Looks like father Shanley could be our fourth Priest." "Yeah, I think he is." "Did you follow up with Macleish?" "I just talked to Phil." "He said Macleish dealt with a number of these cases." "Guess he forgot to mention that." "Yeah." "I'm gonna go to the courthouse tomorrow, see if I can find any cases he settled against the church." "All right." "Call me after you do." "Good night." "Okay." "Good night." "Hey." "You wanted to, uh, chat?" "Yeah." "I'm late for a dinner." "Wanna walk me out?" "Sure." "Geez." "Does that guy ever go home?" "Apparently not." "I got guys who won't leave till he does." "He's wearing out the goddamn newsroom." "Where are we on Geoghan?" "Following up on more victims." "I want to expand the investigation." "Why?" "We got a fourth Priest." "There might be as many as 13." "Thirteen?" "Yeah." "Who's your source?" "Phil Saviano." "Jesus Christ, Robby." "I told Mike that guy's a fuckin'..." "I know, I know." "I think Saviano might be legit, Ben." "Want to elaborate on that?" "No." "Not really." "It just feels like this thing's stacking up." "That's my gut." "Okay." "Okay." "Good." "Thank you." "Hello?" "Mr. Rezendes?" "Uh, yeah." "Who's this?" "It's Richard Sipe." "Oh, yeah." "Hey, Richard." "How are you?" "I'm good." "Uh, thanks for calling." "Look, uh, Phil Saviano g-gave me your name." "I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions." "Of course." "Yeah." "Great." "Uh, so Phil told me that you were working a-at one of the church's treatment centers in Baltimore." "Yes." "The Seton Psychiatric Institute." "It was run by the daughters of charity." "And, uh, when was that, Richard?" "Well, I started my psychotherapy fellowship there in 1965, okay." "And I was there for five years, but I spent the next 30 studying abusive Priests and their victims." "Really?" "Mm-hmm." "And that's... that's been your sole focus?" "Look, Mike, the church wants us to believe that it's just a few bad apples." "But it's a much bigger problem than that." "How much bigger, Richard?" "Well, based on the research," "I would classify it as a recognizable psychiatric phenomenon." "That's big." "Hey, Mac." "Hey." "If I wanted historical data on a Priest, parishes he's been assigned to, where would I find that?" "The Geoghan case?" "It's all in the clips." "Lisa has the source material." "What if it was for another Priest, one that hadn't been in the papers?" "You're looking at another Priest?" "Who you looking at?" "Any ideas?" "Come on, Matt." "You're not gonna tell me?" "I gotta get to a meeting." "Thanks, Mac." "Hey, Steve." "The archdiocese puts out an annual directory, every Priest and parish." "That's great." "Do these go back any further than '98?" "Oh, yeah." "Going back to the '80s in the Mez." "Beyond that, you gotta go to BPL." "The Mez, huh?" "Thanks, Lisa." "You bet." "He said they all target the same kind of kid." "Low-income families, absentee fathers, broken homes." "So a guy like Geoghan goes after boys not because he prefers them, but because they have more shame, less likely to talk." "Hmm." "These guys are predators, Robby." "Yeah." "I-I-I talked to Sipe." "He said he's seen dozens of them in the '60s in Seton." "He called it a "phenomenon."" "Why didn't he go public?" "He did." "But the church made a huge effort to discredit him." "Smear campaigns, public statements by prominent bishops." "It's just like Saviano said." "And Garabedian." "You getting anywhere with him?" "More victims." "More victims." "You can't empty his pockets?" "I'll get to him." "I just need more time." "Come on, Mike." "You gotta get him." "I'll get him." "I'll get him." "Jesus." "What the hell is that smell?" "There's a dead rat in the corner." "What have you got?" "Church directories." "It's every Priest in Massachusetts, what parish they're assigned to." "Are these official?" "Yeah." "I figured it could help us track down some of the Priests Saviano mentioned, maybe find some more victims." "Can we turn on some more lights?" "I couldn't find the switch." "You wanna borrow my glasses?" "No, I'm good." "I'm good." "Look. 1983." "John Geoghan, St. Brendan's parish, Dorchester." "So we can find out where any Priest is in any given year?" "Yeah, I got him here at... huh." "What?" "1980." "The year Geoghan was pulled from JP." "It says he's on sick leave." "Come on." "It really says that?" "Where is, uh, 1991?" "Yeah." "Here ya go." "Let me see this." "Barrett." "Barrett." "Liam." "I can't read that." "Look for a Liam Barrett in there." "1991's the year they pulled him out of Charlestown." ""Barrett, Liam."" "Yeah." " "Sick leave."" "It's an official designation." "Let's get these upstairs." "Matt, check on those Priests Saviano gave us." "Robby." "I'm down at the courthouse." "Something's not right here." "Nothing on Shanley either, Sacha." "Okay, thanks." "Um, we need to talk to Macleish again." "Really." "Why?" "Huh?" "There's nothing here." "There aren't any records." "Thanks for waiting." "So sorry, guys." "Stuck on a call." "Not a problem." "How are you?" "Good." "Thanks for meeting us." "You bet." "What's up, guys?" "Mr. Macleish, are you familiar with a Priest named Paul Shanley?" "Yes, I am familiar with him." "And have you settled cases against father Shanley?" "As I'm sure you can understand, I can't discuss that with you." "Yeah, h-how about, uh, father Ronald Paquin?" "Well, I can't discuss that with you either." "Come on, guys." "We understand you've settled several cases against each of them." "Even if I'd been involved in those cases, the settlements would be confidential and I could be disbarred for acknowledging their existence." "Okay?" "Mm-hmm." "Look, I told you guys these are tough cases." "Most of these folks, they just want some acknowledgment of what happened." "We got 'em a sit-down with the bishop and a little dough, and that's the best they could hope for." "Well, it's certainly the best the Priests could hope for." "No, the church promised they'd take the Priests out of circulation." "And did you follow up on that?" "Do you guys need anything else?" "Yes." "Why aren't there any records?" "I was down at the courthouse earlier." "There aren't any records of any of these settlements." "We dealt directly with the church." "We would draw up a demand letter and send it to the chancery." " You never filed anything in court?" " It's a private mediation." "So, this is just you and the archdiocese's lawyers in a room?" " Correct." " Anyone else?" "Occasionally the church would bring in another defense attorney to help out." "You have names?" "Nope." "No, I don't." "So this was all under the table?" "There's no paper trail at all." "The victim has to sign a confidentiality agreement to get the settlement." "The lawyer takes a third, and the church sweeps it under the rug." "It's a freakin' Racket." "It's more complicated than that." "Macleish has got a duty to the client to get the best deal he can." "Sure." "But how many victims do you represent and profit from before you say something?" "Garabedian would say none." "That's why he's taking these cases to court." "He wants people to know about this." "I agree." "And legal ethics aside, Ben," "I mean, operating the way Macleish has all but guarantees that the abuse stays under wraps." "Yeah." "Did Macleish confirm all Saviano's Priests?" "No." "He's limited by his confidentiality agreement." "But clearly he's settled cases against a number of them." "Phil's put me in touch with some of the other victims." "I'm pretty confident all of his Priests are gonna check out." "So it is 13 Priests?" " Yeah." " Looks that way." "Holy shit." "Okay." "Keep going." "I'm sorry." "What was the name again?" "Uh, Baron." "B-A-R-O-N." "I'm having trouble finding it." "Just give me a second." "It's okay, Kim." "I can vouch for him." "I'm Pete Conley." "I'm on the Board of Catholic Charities." "Welcome to Boston, Mr. Baron." "Thank you." "I appreciate you joining us." "We're very proud of the work we do here in Boston." "Oh, the Cardinal said you had a nice visit." "Yes, we did." "He's an extraordinary man." "I'm glad you had a chance to chat." "Enjoying yourself?" "Uh, to be honest, these events aren't really my strong suit." "Yeah." "Are you involved with the charity?" "Not directly, no." "Several of my friends are." "We all went to high school at BC High." "That's the school across the street from the Globe." "It's hard to miss." "Yeah." "Hard to get away from too, apparently." "The, uh, Cardinal's in the corner, if you're so inclined." "We've met." "Really?" "Did he mention the suit?" "No, but he did give me a copy of the catechism." "Yeah." "Well, the Cardinal's not known for his subtlety." "During the Porter investigation, he literally called down the power of God on the Globe." "How'd that play out?" "A week later, our editor broke his leg skiing." "Shrimp toast, gentlemen?" "Uh, no, thanks." "Thanks." "You said one of the victims filed a criminal complaint?" "Yeah, there were a few of them." "But the judge had the case records sealed after friends of the church complained." "And the church has a lot of friends." "Like Eric Macleish?" "Yeah." "Let's just say he's not part of the solution." "You follow what I'm saying?" "Sure." "You work hard, Mr. Rezendes." "Are you married?" "Yeah." "Your wife doesn't mind you working all the time?" "Oh, yeah, she does." "That's why I never got married." "I'm too busy." "What I do is too important." "Mmm." "Your new editor, he's a Jew, right?" "That's right." "Yeah." "Well, see, he comes in and suddenly everybody's interested in the church." "You know why?" "Mmm." "Because it takes an outsider, like me." "I'm Armenian." "How many Armenians do you know in Boston?" "Steve Kurkjian." "Works at the Globe." "Oh." "That's two." "You should get a prize or something." "What are you, Italian?" "No, I'm Portuguese." "From where?" "Uh, East Boston." "Really?" "East Boston?" "You don't sound like it." "This city, these people... making the rest of us feel like we don't belong." "But they're no better than us." "Look at how they treat their children." "Mark my words, Mr. Rezendes, if it takes a village to raise a child, it takes a village to abuse one." "Hey, here he is." "Want a beer?" "Love one." "Another." "You here with Barbara?" "No, no." "She hates these things." "Karen too." "Yeah." "Smart ladies." "Sláinte." "Sláinte." "Mmm." "I met your new editor." "Seemed like a decent fellow." "I think he is." "Hey, I had an interesting conversation with Eric Macleish the other day." "Turns out he's been settling abuse cases with the Archdiocese for years." "You really want to talk about this here?" "Jim, you said you helped out on father Barrett as a favor." "That was a one-off?" "How many of these cases you been involved with?" "You know I can't answer that, Robby." "It's unethical." "Is that all it is?" "So, this would be the Robby Robinson" "I've always heard about but never met." "Huh?" "Listen to me, Jimmy." "You want to be on the right side of this." "This is the church you're talking about, Robby." "Look around." "These are good people." "Done a lot of good for this city." "Enjoy the party." "I've been through a lot of these now." ""Sick leave" isn't the only designation they use when they take one of these Priests out of circulation." "They use a slew of terms:" ""Absent on leave,"" ""unassigned," "emergency response."" "They got a word for everything, these guys." "Except rape." "And they move parishes way more frequently than other Priests." "When I was a kid, a Priest moved after seven or eight years, sometimes longer." "These guys, it's two to three years tops." "And did they use these designations for all of Saviano's Priests?" "Yeah." "It's a pretty clear pattern." "Guys, I got Sipe." "I think if you really want to understand the crisis, you need to start with the celibacy requirement." "That was my first major finding." "Only 50% of the clergy are celibate." "Now, most of them are having sex with other adults." "But the fact remains that this creates a culture of secrecy that tolerates and even protects pedophiles." "So you believe the church is aware of the extent of this, uh, crisis?" "Oh, absolutely." "After the first major scandal in Louisiana," "Tom Doyle, the secretary canonist for the Papal Nuncio, co-authored a report warning pedophile Priests were a billion-dollar liability." "That was in 1985." "1985?" "That's right." "Who saw that report?" "Anyone from the catholic hierarchy?" "Sure." "Doyle tried to introduce the report at the national conference of catholic bishops." "In fact, Cardinal law initially helped to fund the report." "But then he backed out and they shelved it." "Is he kidding me?" "Uh, Richard, Robby here." "We think we have 13 Priests in Boston that fit this pattern, which would be a very..." "a very big story." "Does that sound right to you, uh, in terms of scale?" "No, not really, Robby." "Sounds low to me." "My estimates suggest six percent act out sexually with minors." "Uh, six percent of what?" "Six percent of all Priests." "How many Priests do we have in Boston?" "About 1,500." "One percent is 15." "Six percent is... 90." "Wait." "Nine-ninety Priests?" "Is that possible?" "From a metric standpoint, yes." "That would certainly be in line with my findings." "Hello?" "Uh... ninety fucking Priests?" "In Boston?" "That's what he said." "If there were 90 of these bastards, people would know." "Maybe they do." "And no one said a thing?" "Good Germans." "I don't think that's a comparison you want to make publicly." "Macleish knew." "He just didn't say anything." "That's 13 Priests." "There's a big difference between 13 and 90." "Where's this guy Sipe getting his numbers?" "Well, he's been studying it for 30 years." "He is a trained psychotherapist." "Okay." "But we need something more than a metric from some hippie ex-Priest who's shacking up with a nun." "Okay, so we'll track down more victims." "We'll get more Priests." "Then we could check them against the directories." " That's a shitload of victims." " We'll get there." "How long's it gonna take?" "Too long." "Wait." "Meeting's over?" "Yeah, for now." "What've you got?" "What if we work backwards?" "What do you mean?" "From what?" "From the directories." "We've been using them to confirm bad Priests." "What if we do it the other way around?" "Use the directories to identify bad Priests." "Yeah, exactly." "We search by designation." "We look for any Priest on "sick leave" or "unassigned."" "Or have been moved around a lot." "Yeah." "It's gonna take a load of work." "Well, not if we're all on it." "You too?" "Generally that's what "all" means." "Yeah, generally." "Library is closing." "Library is closing." "Holy shit." "No freakin' way." " Talbot." " Yep." " Tivnan." " Yep." "Toma." "Yep." "Turnbull." "Yep." "Walsh." "Yep." "Welsh." "Yep." "That's it." "That's it." " Holy shit." " Robby." "That's three off Sipe's estimate." "That's incredible." "Robby." "How many?" "Eighty-seven." "Eighty-seven Priests in Boston." "Call Macleish." "I wanna talk to him." "Okay." "Can you print it?" "Sure can." "Jim Sullivan's office." "Yeah, Walter Robinson for Jim Sullivan." "Tell him it's important, please." "One moment, please." "Hey, Robby." "Everything okay?" "I need you to tell me something, Jim." "Could it be 90 Priests?" "What?" "Could it be as high as 90?" "Jesus, Robby." "I need to know, Jim." "I wouldn't be asking if it wasn't important." "You gotta stop this, Robby." "Robby, Macleish's assistant said he's all booked up." "He can't see us." "Yeah." "Well, the hell he can't." "All right." "That'll be fun." "You know what?" "I'll catch up with you, okay?" "Okay." "Hey." "I'm really sorry." "I am." "I don't have any time to talk right now..." "Mr. Macleish, we have reason to believe that there are allegations against as many as 87 Priests in Boston." "I can't talk to you about that." "Does that number sound right to you?" "You gotta be kidding me." "I just told you I don't have time for this crap now." "Eric, how many Priests did you settle?" "Robby, you know I can't tell you that." "You're gonna give me the names and the names of their victims." "Um... are you threatening me?" "We've got two stories here." "We've got a story about degenerate Clergy, and we've got a story about a bunch of lawyers turning child abuse into a cottage industry." "Now, which story do you want us to write?" "'Cause we're writing one of 'em." "I already sent you a list of names." "What are you talking about?" "To whom?" "The Globe." "Years ago." "After the Porter case, I got plenty of calls." "I had 20 Priests in Boston alone, but I couldn't go after them without the press." "So I sent you guys a list of names, and you buried it." " I want those names tomorrow." " Check your goddamn clips, Robby." "We didn't find anything in the clips." "Yeah." "Big surprise." "Richard, uh, do you still go to Mass?" "No." "No, I haven't been to church for some time now." "But I still consider myself a catholic." "H-How does that work?" "Well, the church is an institution, Mike, made of men." "It's passing." "My faith is in the eternal." "I try to separate the two." "Sounds tricky." "It is." "Especially since the church continues to go after me." "It takes a toll, Mike." "They'll try to silence anyone who speaks out." "I'm sure they'll come after you and your team soon enough." "Really." "And how do you think they'd do that?" "Hello?" "Richard?" "Who is it?" "It's the Archbishop of Canterbury." "I had dinner at Santarpio's." "Had some leftovers." "Ah, you're the freakin' best." "Thanks." "You want a beer?" "Yeah." "You got it." "Jesus." "How much longer you gonna be in this shithole?" "Yeah." "I'm working on it." "She's a good girl, Mike." "Yeah, she is." "We'll figure it out." "I haven't had a lot of time lately." "I just got off the phone with Sipe, actually." "Have you met this guy in person yet?" "No, but his knowledge of this is on a whole other level." "I'm frickin' starving." "So, where are we with the 90?" "We're close." "How close?" "We're close." "Just answer the question, will you?" "We got 87 names." "We're trying to get confirmation." "I think we will." "Something bugging you?" "It's just surprising, that's all." "Yeah." "Yeah, it is." "For everybody." "Wait, Ben." "I forgot to ask you." "Phil Saviano said he sent a bunch of info over to the Globe years ago." " Do you have any idea to who?" " No." "Why?" "I'm just curious." "I wanted to see if there's any leads you guys didn't run out." "Saviano was a fucking train wreck five years ago." "We didn't miss anything." "This story needed Spotlight." "Yeah, I agree." "I'm just following up." " Good night." " Yeah, good night." "This is unbelievable." "When did you get this?" "Macleish e-mailed the list this morning." "He settled cases against 45 Priests." "Where are we on law?" "Anything that shows he had knowledge of this?" "We're still working Garabedian." "But nothing concrete." "I keep thinking about that conversation we had the other night about how law called down the power of God when we reported on Porter." "That's just law being law." "Okay." "But I checked the clips, and, uh, Porter isn't even in the Boston Archdiocese." "He's from fall river." "So... why the extreme reaction?" "Law had to know." "That's why he had the reaction." "Because he knew there were others." "I think that's the bigger story." "Wait." "Bigger than 50 Priests?" "If it came from the top down, yes." "But the numbers clearly indicate that there were Senior Clergy involved." "That's all they do..." "indicate." "Are you telling me that if we run a story with 50 pedophile Priests in Boston..." "Mike." "We'll get into the same catfight you got into on Porter, which made a lot of noise but changed things not one bit." "We need to focus on the institution, not the individual Priests." "Practice and policy." "Show me the church manipulated the system so that these guys wouldn't have to face charges." "Show me they put those same Priests back into parishes time and time again." "Show me this was systemic, that it came from the top down." "Sounds like we're going after law." "We're going after the system." "Make a list of all the victims we have." "Start reaching out." "And bring Matt in if you need help." "Mm-hmm." "Okay." "Hey, when do you go to Springfield?" "Our hearing is Monday." "Okay." "Hey, Robby, you got a second?" "Yeah." "I, uh..." "I got one of those treatment centers a block from my house." "We got neighbors with kids." "I know that the work we do is confidential, but I'm feeling like..." "I should tell 'em." "We'll tell 'em soon." "You sure?" "Yeah." "Okay." "Hi there." "I'm Sacha Pfeiffer." "I'm with the Boston Globe." "I'm just looking for a gentleman by the name of Matthew Walsh." "Uh, no, he's not." "Right there." "Yeah." "Okay." "Okay." "Hi." "Hi." "I'm Sacha Pfeiffer from the Boston Globe." "Yeah, what do you want?" "I'd like to speak with Thomas Kennedy." "He doesn't live here anymore." "Do you know where he lives?" "Sir, I'd just like to ask a few..." "Sacha Pfeiffer, Boston Globe." "Oh, yeah." "Hi." "Hi." "Thank you." "Anything else you can recall?" "No." "No, but I got a cousin in Quincy." "She saw him in the street a few years later." "The bishop came to the house." "He said nothing like this had ever happened before." " He asked us not to press charges." " And what did your mother do?" "My mother?" "She put out freakin' cookies." "There was a lot of pressure to keep quiet." "From the church?" "Yeah, from the church." "But not just the church." "From my friends." "From the other parishioners." "Well, many of the Priests that I treated were psychosexually stunted." "On the emotional level of a 12- or 13-year-old." "Jesus." "Sure the chief knew." "Everybody knew." "But nobody wants to cuff a Priest." "Mmm." "And what about the prosecutor?" "I shouldn't talk about this shit." "I think you should, actually." "Do you know a father Hurley or a father Gale?" "I do." "I'll beat the shit out of you." "Sorry to bother you." "You leave me alone." "You leave my brother alone." "You hear me?" "Goddamn it." "Hi there." "I'm looking for Ronald Paquin." "Yes?" "You're father Paquin?" "Yes." "That's right." "I'm Sacha Pfeiffer from the Boston Globe." "I... okay." "Could I ask you a few questions?" "Go ahead, dear." "We spoke to several men who knew you when they were boys at St. John the baptist in Haverhill." "Did... they told us you molested them." "Is that true?" "Mmm, sure, I fooled around." "But I never felt gratified myself." "Right." "Um... but you admit to molesting boys at St. John the baptist?" "Yes, yes, but as I said, I never got any pleasure from it." "That's important to understand." "Right." "Um, but can you tell me where and how you fooled around with these boys?" "I want to be clear." "I never raped anyone." "There's a difference." "I should know." " How would you know?" " I was raped." "I'm sorry." "Who raped you?" "Ronny, who are you talking to?" "It's okay, Jane." "Father Paquin, who raped you?" "Who are you?" "Uh, Sacha Pfeiffer, from the Globe." "Please get off my porch." "I can speak for myself." "Get inside the house, Ron." "Mr... get inside, Ron." "Okay." "I'm sorry." "Who are you?" "I'm his sister." " And I don't want you coming back here." " Miss Paquin... beat you to the end of the street." " No, you won't." " I beat you last time." "Boy #1 no, you didn't." "You cheated." "You did." "Could you please clarify the Globe's position for me, Mr. Albano?" "Yes, Judge Sweeney." "Our argument to make these documents public rests mainly on first amendment grounds." "We also have a number of other relevant arguments." "After all, your honor, this was a discretionary order." "Yes." "It was made at the judge's discretion." "Hey, Mike." "Hey, Joe." "What's a Spotlight reporter doing in Springfield?" "Your boy Albano's sledding uphill." "You actually think you have a shot at winning this thing?" "You want me to comment for the Herald?" ""Globe reporter would not comment, but he did not seem hopeful."" "He didn't try and hide it at all." "He had this really odd rationalization for it, like it was totally normal to fool around with little boys." "I'd really like to go back." "I think he'd talk to us." "Oh, we will." "Just not yet." "I want you to stay focused on the victims right now." "Sacha, where'd they send father Talbot again?" "Um, I think..." "wasn't that Cheverus?" "Cheverus." "That's right." "Wait." "Father Talbot from BC High?" "Yeah." "You know him?" "Yeah." "He was there when I was." "We have a victim?" "Yeah." "Lives in Providence." "There's nothing personal in these documents, your honor." "They concern how the Cardinal is handling... say "The Archdiocese."" "Excuse me?" "You don't get to tag the Cardinal with everything, Mr. Albano." "Say "The Archdiocese."" "Judge Sweeney, the Globe is not a party to this case." "They just want to sell papers." "If Mr. Garabedian had not smeared the Cardinal's good name, we wouldn't even be here." "Your honor, I object to the use of the word "smear."" " Duly noted, Mr. Garabedian." " Thank you, your honor." " Anything else, Mr. Rogers?" " No, your honor." "Mr. Albano, you may continue." "The Globe believes having... hey, Mitch, how you doing?" "I'm fine." "He's tough, that Wilson Rogers." "He's smug." "And he's sloppy." "He doesn't seem sloppy." "You don't know the half of it." "Trust me." "What's the half of it?" "Tell me the half of it, Mitch." "Off the record?" "Off the record, yeah." "Three years ago, I get a call from an ex-Priest." "Anthony Benzevich." "He was at blessed sacrament back in '62, and he saw Geoghan..." "Taking little boys up to the rectory bedroom, okay?" "So he's appalled, all right?" "Tells the bishop about it." "And the bishop threatens to reassign him to South America." "Jesus." "Yeah, all right." "So fast-forward 35 years, Benzevich reads that Geoghan has been charged with molesting hundreds of kids." "All right?" "So he feels guilty." "He calls me." "So you have testimony of a Priest telling his superiors about Geoghan in '62?" "No, I do not." "Because when I called Benzevich in to give a deposition, he comes in with a lawyer." "Wilson Rogers." "Right." "And suddenly father Benzevich has a very foggy memory." "Can't remember anything." "He's useless." "So I go back to work." "I forget about it." "Whatever." "Until about a year ago, I find an article about a Priest who warned church officials about Geoghan." "Benzevich went to the press?" "Yeah." "Yeah." "Local paper, Patriot Ledger." "Nobody saw it." "But now I got Benzevich on record." "So I file a motion to depose Benzevich a second time." "All right?" "And Wilson Rogers, that smug son of a bitch, he files a motion opposing my motion." "And that's when I have him." "Have... have him how?" "Rogers opposes my motion, so I have to make an argument as to why I'm allowed to depose father Benzevich a second time, okay?" "But this time, I'm allowed to attach exhibits." "Do you follow what I'm saying?" "The sealed documents?" "Yes." "I can attach the sealed documents that I've gotten in discovery, Mr. Rezendes, the same documents that your paper is currently suing for." "You're shitting me." "What?" "No." "No, I'm not shitting you." "So I pull out the 14 most damning docs and I attach them to my motion." "And they prove everything." "Everything." "About the church, about the bishops, about law." "And it's all public?" "Because your motion to oppose Roger's motion... is public." "Yeah." "Exactly." "Now you're paying attention." "So I could just walk into that courthouse right now and get those documents?" "No, you cannot, because the documents are not there." "But you just said they're public." "I know I did." "But this is Boston." "And the church does not want them to be found." "So they are not there." "Mitch, are you telling me that the catholic church removed legal documents from that courthouse?" "Look, I'm not crazy." "I'm not paranoid." "I'm experienced." "Check the docket." "You'll see." "They control everything." "Everything." "I gotta go back in." "I just got the fucking documents." "Docket entry number 49, in the Geoghan case." "Okay, thanks." "We close in 10 minutes." "Ten minutes?" "All right." "Robby." "Hey, it's me." "Hey." "You're not gonna believe it." "Garabedian gave me a tip." "Some of the sealed docs are already public." "They're part of a motion he filed." "He said they're the best of the bunch." "We don't have to wait for Sweeney's ruling." "So we can get them?" "Yeah, but they're not there." "Already talked to Albano." "He said all we have to do is file a motion, and Sweeney will order Mitch to refile the docs." "And you think these documents are... he said these 14 docs are all we need." "They're huge." "Okay." "I'll call Ben." "Good work." "Is this purely an accident or could this have been an intentional act?" "Either way, extensive damage has been done to this building." "What happened?" "They're saying it's a prop plane, but that's not a prop plane." "Tell Linda to get every reporter we have in here now." "You pray for the victims." "You pray for the injured." "And you pray for those who survived." "You pray, too, for the nation." "That our response to this might reflect the best ideals of our nation." "And even more, reflect God's own teaching, not only as it's shown in Christianity and Judaism but in Islam as well." "Not bad." "Who's there?" "Paulson." "I wanna talk to him when he's back." "Did Rezendes find a way to get to Florida yet?" "They just opened the airport in Providence." "He's on his way there now." "Ben, I'm gonna need more people on massport." "I'll give you three of my guys." "Robby, put your team on that too." "Got it." " And, Robby, everything else stops." " Understood." "Why is Mike going to Florida?" "Flight school." "It's where they learned to fly." "Robby, I've got a lot of victim interviews set up this week." "You're gonna have to cancel 'em." "That's gonna be hard." "I know." "This is nuts." "Two days ago I told my wife we gotta be working the biggest story on the planet." "Boston Globe." "Boston Globe." "One Moment, please." "Yes, if you have a tip, I will transfer you down to Metro." "Mitchell Garabedian." "Mitch, it's Mike." "I've been trying to reach you." "I don't have time to talk to you, Mr. Rezendes." "Hey, just quickly." "Did you refile those docs yet?" "No." "I just got the order." "It takes time." "Okay, great." "Can you hold off on refiling them?" "Hold off?" "I have to go to Florida." "Once you refile they're public." "Other newspapers will be able to get a hold of 'em." "Other newspapers are not my concern." "I received a judicial order." "I told you the church is watching me." "Hey, Mitch, please." "All I need is a few more weeks." "I can't make any promises." "Good-bye." "Mitch!" "Mitch!" "Shit!" "Shit." "Look, I get it." "No one wants to read about kids getting raped by Priests, especially now." "But you asked a lot of people to relive some very painful experiences, and you just disappear." "Phil, you know why we were taken off of this story." "It's been six weeks since 9/11." "I realize that, and we're gonna get back to it." "When?" "You're doing the same thing you guys did last time." "No." "You're dropping us." "No." "Maybe I should tell the Herald that story." "Okay, Phil, you go ahead and do that." "It'll undo all the work we've done, but I can't stop you." "Listen to me." "I am here because I care." "We're not going away." "We're gonna tell this story." "We're gonna tell it right." "We just need a little more time." "That's all we're asking for." "Why bother asking?" "You're gonna do what you want anyway." "You always do." "Phil." "Phil!" "Hey." "How's south beach?" "Boynton beach." "Remarkably different place." "What's up?" "Mitch Garabedian called me today." "Why'd he call you?" "'Cause he knew you'd yell at him." "He refiled the docs." "What?" "Robby, those docs are public now." "We gotta get there before anyone else does." "I know." "I know." "I know." "Just wrap up whatever you're doing and get the first flight out." "I'll book a flight now and go straight to the courthouse tomorrow." "All right." "Call me when you get in." "Okay." "Robby, I'd like to let Phil Saviano know that we're back on it." "Good idea." "Go have dinner with Hansi." "Might be the last time for a while." "Mm-hmm." "Robby, after we saw Macleish," "I started going back through the clips." "And I had a little time last week finally." "So, um, I found that." "It's from '93." "That it?" "Yeah." "Yeah, that's... that's it." "Good night." "Okay." "Good night." "Hello." "So, I was probably a few years after you, right?" "No, you were more than a few." "Believe me." "Well, after BC High, I came down to Providence and played hockey for the Friars." "Oh, well, you must have been pretty good." "No." "Rode the bench in college." "Yeah." "But I loved the city." "Uh-huh." "And we just had our third kid." "And I still get my Globe, for the record." "Ah, that's good to know." "Good to know." "Look, Kevin, uh, that's actually why I'm here." "Yeah?" "I..." "I need to ask you some questions about father Talbot." "How'd you find out?" "Well..." "um..." "I guess it doesn't matter." "Hell, I never even told my wife." "Excuse me." "Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey." "I need to get in there." "We're closed." "Come on." "Let me in." "Five minutes." " I'm sorry." "We're closed." " Come on." "Five minutes." "Here." "There." "This is the Geoghan case?" "That's right." " Those records are sealed." " No." "That's a public motion." "Those records are public." " Look, I work for the Globe." " Good for you." "Can I talk to your supervisor?" "He's not in today." "What about a judge?" "There must be judges that work on this kind of thing." "Sixth floor." "We understand the nature of the allegations against father Talbot." "I'm just not sure what you want from President Kemeza." "Talbot taught here long before Bill took over." "Mmm." "Of course." "We just want to know if it's possible that the president, the faculty, the board, that no one knew what was going on at the time." "I graduated in 1979, and I had no idea about any of this." "So if you're suggesting that father Gibbons and father Callahan had in any way..." "Gibbons and Callahan." "I mean, they ran this place like the Navy." "You really think they didn't know?" "It's a big school, Robby." "You know that." "And then we're talking about seven alleged victims over, what, eight years?" "No, we're talking about, you know, seven that we know about." "This is ridiculous." "You're reaching for a story here..." "Jack." "Jack." "Jack." "If I had been president then, I would've known." "Bill, I'm not sure that's relevant." "Why do you think they sent Talbot up to Cheverus?" "You know they wanted him out of town." "Robby, as well intentioned as Bill's remarks are," "I'm hoping we can keep this between us until we all get on the same page." "Is that why we're here, to get on the same page?" "No, we're here because you're an important alumnus, Robby, and a friend." "Exactly." "And we know you care about this school as much as we do." "Did you play a sport here, Jack?" "Yeah." "Football." "Why?" "Mmm." "I ran track." "You know, I went to Providence yesterday to talk to one of father Talbot's victims." "He played hockey here." "And he's one of the better ones." "He's got a wife, kids, good job." "About 10 minutes into the conversation, the guy breaks down." "You know, couldn't stop crying." "Said he could never figure out why father Talbot picked him." "Father Talbot coached the hockey team." "So..." "I guess we just got lucky." "You and me." "Does Jack Dunn work for the school?" "No, he's PR for Boston college." "They call him when they need help." "And Pete Conley, why was he there?" "Good question." "Pete's a big alum." "But I called Bill directly and I asked for a sit-down." "I never mentioned anybody else." "It's like everybody already knows the story." "Yeah." "Except us." "And we work right there." "Judge Volterra?" "Yes?" "Hi." "I'm Mike Rezendes from the Boston Globe." "I'm having some trouble accessing some public records down in the records room." "I was wondering if I could have a word with you?" "All right." "Thank you." "Thank you very much." "These exhibits you're after, Mr. Rezendes, they're very sensitive records." "With all due respect, your honor, that's not the question." "The records are public." "Maybe so, but tell me, where's the editorial responsibility in publishing records of this nature?" "Well, where's the editorial responsibility in not publishing them?" "You can't take those." "You need to make copies." "I'm going to the copy room." "It closed at 4:00." "Look, I'll give you... 83 bucks to use yours." "Hey!" "Cabbie!" "Hey!" "Hey!" "Hey!" "Hey!" "Hey!" "Hey!" "Hey!" "Hey!" "Hey!" "Hey!" "Hey!" "Hey!" "Take me to the Boston Globe on Morrissey Boulevard." "Don't take 93." "Take Dorchester Avenue." "Robby, it's incredible." "Law knew about Geoghan for years, no question." "There's a letter to law from a woman, Margaret Gallant, who lived in Jamaica plain in the early '80 when Geoghan was there." "Listen to this." ""Our family is rooted in the church." "Our desire is to protect the Holy orders even in the midst of our agony over the seven boys in our family who have been violated."" "Seven, Robby." "Seven boys." ""It was suggested we keep silent." "We did not question the authority of the church two years ago." "But since father Geoghan is still in his parish... "" "but she sent it to law and law did shit." "Here's another one to law, same year." "Listen to this." ""A word on the recent assignment of father Geoghan..." "As an associate at St. Julia's in Weston." "Father Geoghan has a history of homosexual involvement with young boys." "I understand his recent departure from St. Brendan's may be related to this problem." "I wonder if father Geoghan should not be reduced to just weekend work while receiving some kind of therapy." "You know how grateful I am to you for your constant concern." "Sincerely yours in our lord, most reverend John M D'Arcy, auxiliary bishop of Boston." "December 7, 1984."" "An auxiliary bishop wrote that?" "That's incredible." "He broke ranks." "I mean, when did Gallant write her letter?" "1984." "And law just ignored it." "How do you ignore that freakin' letter?" "We got 'em." "You can't read these letters and think anything else." "It's proof." "Yeah, it is." "This is good work." "Should we take it up to Ben?" "Uh, no." "Not yet." "Why not?" "We got law." "This is it." "No, this is law covering for one Priest." "There's another 90 out there." "Yeah, we'll print that story when we get it, but we gotta go with this now." "I'm not gonna rush this story, Mike." "We don't have a choice, Robby." "If we don't rush to print, somebody else is going to find these letters and butcher the story." "Joe Quimby from the Herald was at the freaking courthouse." "So we'll write a holding story and we'll keep our eye on the Herald." "Keep our eye on the Herald?" "They run this and get it wrong, the church will bury it." " We gotta do this now." " Mike, Mike." "What?" "Why are we hesitating?" "Baron told us to get law." "This is law." "Baron told us to get the system." "We need the full scope." "That's the only thing that will put an end to this." "Then let's take it to Ben, let him decide." "We'll take it to Ben when I say it's time." "It's time, Robby!" "It's time!" "They knew and they let it happen." "To kids!" "Okay?" "It could've been you." "It could've been me." "It could've been any of us." "We gotta nail these scumbags." "We gotta show people that nobody can get away with this." "Not a Priest or a Cardinal or a freaking Pope!" "You finished?" "Yeah, I am." "This is bullshit." "You okay?" "Mmm." "Hey, Hansi." "Hard day at work, Mike?" "Here." "Thank you." "I-I-I-I don't know why I got so pissed off." "You know, I think Robby's wrong." "You know, you're just..." "you care about the story, Mike." "We all do." "Yeah, I guess." "Hmm." "I stopped going to church with my Nana." "It was..." "it was too hard." "I... you know, I'd be sitting there, and I would start thinking about Joe Crowley or someone else, and I just..." "I just got so angry." "Did you..." "did you tell her why?" "She goes to church three times a week, Mike." "It really pisses me off." "You know," "I actually really liked going to church when I was a little kid." "Mmm." "Why'd you stop?" "Typical shit." "But the weird thing is is..." "I think i..." "I think I figured that maybe one day I w..." "I w..." "I would actually go back." "I was really..." "I was holding on to that." "Mm-hmm." "I read those letters, and it... and something just... cracked." "It's a shitty feeling." "Yeah." "It's a shitty feeling." "Looks like a long day." "Hey, Pete." "I'm sorry to make it longer." "Brian." "Has anyone ever said no to a drink with you, Pete?" "Well, sure." "But the trick is to keep asking." "For Boston." "Boston." "Mmm." "So, um, you here for the Cardinal?" "Oh, no, no, no, no." "I wouldn't..." "I wouldn't presume to speak for the Cardinal, no." "You know, you got a lot of people here who respect you, Robby." "Oh, well..." "the work you do." "That's good to know." "It's 'cause you care about this place." "It's why you do what you do." "It's who you are." "You know, but people need the church, more than ever right now." "You know, you can feel it." "And the Cardinal, uh... you know, the Cardinal, he might not be perfect." "But we can't throw out all the good e's doing over a few bad apples." "Now, you know, I'm bringing this up to you because I know this is Baron's idea." "His agenda." "I gotta tell ya, I mean, honest to God," "I mean, he doesn't care about the city the way we do." "I mean, how could he?" "This is how it happens, isn't it, Pete?" "What's that?" "A guy leans on a guy, and suddenly the whole town just looks the other way." "Robby." "Robby." "Lookit." "Marty Baron is just trying to make his mark." "He's gonna be here for a couple of years and he's gonna move on." "Just like he did in New York and Miami." "Where are you gonna go?" "Hmm?" "Good night, Robby." "Brian." "Hey, uh, Pete." "Yeah?" "Uh, when we do run the story, uh, I'm gonna need a comment from the Cardinal." "We'll talk again later." "Good night, Robby." "Night, Pete." "Robby." "What?" "No shit." "When?" "Okay." "Yeah." "Hey." "What's up?" "Sweeney ruled in our favor." "She ruled to unseal the documents." "Geez." "Huh." "The church has already filed an appeal." "But the trial court ruling is generally upheld in these matters." "And when would we get the documents?" "Probably takes Cohen a few weeks to rule." "Then there's a redaction process." "Uh, I'd say they'd be made public mid-January." "Okay." "All right." "Thanks, John." "You bet." "Nice work." "Thanks." "Metro should run something, Marty." "We can't run this one big." "Why wouldn't we?" "It's a major first amendment victory." "Not to mention, you get an Irish Catholic judge ruling against the church?" "That's a hell of a precedent." "Mm-hmm." "We don't want the Herald going deep on this." "Why's that?" "You're gonna have to step out, Peter." "I'm not stepping out." "Peter." "When did you, uh..." "a couple of weeks ago." "A couple of weeks?" " Yeah." " And you're telling us now?" "These are substantial." "They clearly show that law was negligent." "I need more time." " I wanna keep digging." " For what?" "This is the goddamn story." "It's not the whole story." "Tough shit." "We're on a clock now." "Even if we don't run Sweeney's ruling, another paper could find these letters and fuck the story." "Agreed." "But we run these letters alone, law apologizes, says it's a one-time thing." "He can bury it." "How?" "These clearly show he knew and did nothing about it." "Look, I'm close to stories on 70 Priests." "We nail that, along with those letters, this is proof that this is bigger than law." "It's the whole system." "You have multiple sources confirming all those Priests?" " On some." "I can get more." " Too risky." "If we're not buttoned up on every single one of them, the church will pick us apart." "I think I can get us someone from the other side of the aisle." "Somebody inside the church?" "Yeah." "A lawyer." "Will he go on the record?" "Deep background." "But he's a solid source." "Rezendes needs time to write the story." "We don't want to drop it at Christmas, not after 9/11." "We could run it just after new year's, before they release the rest of the documents." "All right." "Tell Canellos to bury the ruling in Metro." "You got six weeks." "Thank you." "Tell Mike I want a draft by Christmas." "And we need a response from Lake Street." "Who does PR for the Cardinal?" "Still John Walsh?" "No, somebody new." "Donna Morrissey." "She came from TV." "She's young." "Good." "Get a quote." "We need something from law to appear evenhanded." "Robby, next time give me a goddamn heads-up." "Will do." "Robby, what a nice surprise." "Come on in." "Hey, hon, look who I found outside." "Karen, can you give us a minute?" "Sure." "Good to see you, Karen." "What's up?" "I'm out of time, Jim." "We've got cover-up stories on 70 Priests." "But the boss isn't gonna run it unless I get confirmation from your side." "Are you out of your mind?" "Come on." "This is our town, Jimmy." "Everybody knew something was going on, and no one did a thing." " We gotta put an end to it." " Don't tell me what I gotta do." "Yeah, I helped defend these scumbags, but that's my job, Robby." "I was doing my job." "Yeah." "You and everyone else." "Get out of my house." "Hey!" "You come to my home and lay this shit on me?" "You were right, Robby." "We all knew something was going on." "So where were you?" "What took you so long?" "I don't know, Jim." "Give me the list." "Larry, we're going to press in six hours." "Donna Morrissey said she'd call us with a quote from law hours ago." "That's what I thought." "When did you talk to her?" "Okay." "Okay, Larry." "Yeah." "Yeah." "Yeah, that's good to know." "Thanks, Pete." "Anything?" "Conley said Donna Morrissey should've called." "He just left lake street." "Yeah, Rasky said the same thing." "This is ridiculous." "You'd think they want to get ahead of this." "I mean, they'd be idiots not to." "I would love to see their faces when they read this thing." "Sunday's the feast of the Epiphany." "That seems appropriate." "Mike Rezendes." "Hey, Donna." "Thanks for calling." "Yeah, I just had a few questions if you have a minute." "What?" "What?" "Another adjective." "Anything?" "Law just turned us down." "Jesus Christ." "I just got off the phone with Donna Morrissey." "She said, quote, "we don't even want to know what the questions are," end quote." " She really said that?" " Yeah." "Well, that ought to do it." ""The church had no interest in knowing what the Globe's questions would be."" "Work it in somewhere before the jump." "Anything else?" "Matt wants to put the letters online so the readers can see for themselves." "We can run the URL at the bottom of the article." " It's pretty straightforward." " Okay." "We also put the Spotlight tip line at the end of the story so people can call in." "Goes directly to our office." "Matt and I can go in in the morning in case we get any calls." "Yeah, I'm more concerned about the phones at reception." "After we ran the Porter case, the message centers were tied up for weeks." "It's a real problem." "There were picketers too." "Lots of 'em." "I'll talk to Richard about the security and the phones." "Uh, how are we coming on the folo story?" "Well, we've nailed down multiple stories on 70 Priests." " All 70?" " Mm-hmm." "And with confirmation from Robby's source, we're ready to go." "We can have a draft next week." "Robby, that source of yours, is it something we could revisit?" "It might be tough." "But he has no problem helping the church protect dozens of dirty Priests." " Guy's a scumbag." " He's a lawyer." "He's doing his job." " He's a shill for the church." " He knew and did nothing." "He could've said something years ago, maybe saved some lives." "What about us?" " What's that supposed to mean?" " We had all the pieces." "Why didn't we get it sooner?" "We didn't have all the pieces." "We had Saviano." "We had Barrett." "We had Geoghan." "We had the directories in the basement." " You know what?" "We got it now." " Robby, the story needed Spotlight." "Mike, Spotlight's been around since 1970." "So what?" "We couldn't see the scope of this." "No one could." "Robby, this started with one goddamn Priest." "Macleish sent us a letter on 20 Priests years ago." "Sacha found the clip." "You freaking kidding?" "Twenty Priests?" "When?" "Uh, just after Porter." "December '93." "We buried the story in Metro." "No folo." "That was you?" "You were Metro." "Yeah." "That was me." "I'd just taken over." "I don't remember it at all." "But yeah." "Um, can I, uh, say something here?" "Sometimes it's easy to forget that we spend most of our time stumbling around in the dark." "Suddenly a light gets turned on, and there's a fair share of blame to go around." "I can't speak to what happened before I arrived, but, uh, all of you have done some very good reporting here." "Reporting that I believe is gonna have an immediate and considerable impact on our readers." "For me, this kind of story is why we do this." "Having said that," "Cardinal law and the Catholic Community are gonna have a very strong response to this." "So if you need a moment, you've earned it." "But, uh," "I will need you back here Monday morning, focused and ready to do your job." " Leaving?" " Yeah." "I, uh, just got a call from the Cardinal." "Really." "Why?" "He wanted to tell me personally that he decided not to comment." "Yeah." "Said he wanted to, uh, extend me that courtesy." "Jesus, the balls on that guy." "What did you say?" "I told him he was making a mistake and that we were gonna run the story." "Damn right we're gonna run it." "Sacha, can I have a drink of water?" "Yeah." "Sure, Nana." "Yeah." "Can I keep this?" "Sure." "I thought you should see it first." "Thank you for bringing it by." "Now, I have some clients I have to attend to." "Yeah." "Both kids were abused." "Jamaica Plain." "Two weeks ago." "Keep... doing your work, Mr. Rezendes." " Hello." " Hello." "How are you guys doing?" " Good, thanks." " Good." " Hey." " Good morning." "How'd you sleep?" "Not very well." "You?" "I haven't slept well for months." "Mmm." "Oh, thanks." "I, uh, actually started writing." "Writing?" "Yeah, I've been working on a book." "Gives me something else to focus on." "What kind of book?" "Horror." "Yeah." "Spotlight." "Yeah." "Yeah, of course." "Can I, uh..." "can I get your name, please?" "You do know it's Sunday, right?" "Couldn't get a tee time." "No picketers." "Yeah." "Probably still at church." "Hey, Linda." "It's quiet, huh?" "Yeah." "Easiest overtime I ever made." "Phone hasn't rung once." "Marty sent two of mine down to Spotlight." "Great article, guys." "Thank you." "Thanks." "Spotlight?" "Okay." "Yep." "Spotlight." "Can I help you?" "Phones have been ringing all morning." "Spotlight." " Mike, can you grab that?" " Yeah, yeah." "They're almost all victims, Robby." " I'm sorry to make you wait." " Sacha Pfeiffer." "I'm sorry..." "can you... yes, you can reach me here." "This is Spotlight." "Can I get your name?" "Did you happen to have any contact with anybody that was there afterward?" "Do you remember what year this was?" "Which parish was it?" "This is Spotlight."

"* it's all about love * it's all about love" "* it's all about love * it's all about love" "* it's all about love" "Lucia rijker!" "* it's all about love * it's all about love" "* it's all about love * it's all about love" "Lucia rijkerhas faced a test here tonight and passed the test." "Lucia rijker!" "Rijker!" "I've been fightingsince I was 12." "I started in karate, and then my brotherintroduced me to kickboxing, and then I started kickboxing." "From one thing, you know, came another." "I got the attentionthat I wanted at that moment, 'cause I was good at it." "I won my fights." "Dutch championship, european championship, world title." "You get addicted to it." "It's like a lifestylethat you get used to, like a new challenge, one challenge after another." "And then after a while, I wanted something else, and I moved to L.A." "And then I realizedthat part of me is a fighter, and that... that I have to dosomething with that." "Don King flew me to Vegas withfreddie roach, my new trainer." "I sat down with him, andhe offered me four contracts, but not what I was looking for." "So then the same day, I went to Bob arum, and he didn't want me." "He was, like, "what are you doing in here?"" "A lot of these women who arefighting really have no talent." "They have very little." "They havea lot of determination, but no talent." "So then I start talking, and I says, you know,"I want you to look at my tape." "I'm not leaving."" "Well, you know, I wouldn't do women's boxing." "So, she came into my officewith a real sexy dress, and she was very feminine, you know." "And I said, "oh, what the hell?" "She's gota great, great personality."" "And so I make an exceptionwith her, and I'm not sorry." "He looked at it, and he wasreally very enthusiastic." "Called his whole crew." "She is different." "She is a true professional, and she's really learnedthe techniques of boxing." "So then the ballstarted rolling." "I think Lucia rijker as a boxer is gonna bea long-reigning world champion in the women's boxing." "She's doing goodfor the women boxing sport and for boxing, in general." "We're at a point nowwhere the large promoters, the don kings and Bob arumsare taking notice of the women." "However, there have always beenwomen in boxing as far as I can remember, at least going backto the 1930s." "But there were so few in numberthat it wasn't a major event." "My name is Barbara buttrick." "And I was a boxerback in the '50s." "When I was about 15 or 16,I was working, and I took my wagesand bought some boxing gloves." "Back then, it was justthe odd one here and there." "I knew I had to travelto find the girls that wanted to boxand compete with them." "But it wasn't until 1995when the golden gloves, after 68 years of competition, allowed the womento come into boxing, that so many womencame into the sport." "Ladies and gentlemen, you have just seen history." "How about a niceround of applause for these two special ladiesfor all they have accomplished?" "Bravo, ladies." "Bravo." "Do you realizeyou just made history, and if so, how do you feel?" "Were you thinking about thatgoing in the ring?" "Of course, of course." "And the big question most menhave and I have is, why?" "Why do you want to be a partof history in the making?" "Why do you want... figure it out." "What are you gonna do now?" "Where do you go from here?" "I'm gonna go to Disneyland." "But seriously." "But seriously, folks," "I'll probably go fix my face, brush my hair, and then hope that my husbandstill wants to be married to me 'cause I haven't spoken to himsince my training began." "Your husband afraid of you now?" "No." "Nah." "I never really achieved what I wanted to achieveas a gymnast, and I never got over that." "And I think I would havecarried that throughout life, that I just never quitegot to the spot I want." "So with boxing, I said," ""whateveri didn't do with gymnastics," "I'm gonna do with this."" "With the gymnastics, I wanted to win." "This is like I have to win." "Focus." "Come on, let's go." "Hands up." "I used to feel differently about a man getting hurtas opposed to a woman." "I have some doctors I train, and they gave mesome words of wisdom, that women heal the same as men." "It's just excitingto train women." "I've never hadthis experience before." "They somehow knowthey can take better punches." "I don't understand it." "They just go to another level.They continue to fight it." "You give metwo rips to the body, and I think we cango with this one, all right?" "Yeah, baby." "She felt the power, chanequa." "I guess it helps usunderstand women better, know that there's some powergoing on there that we don't really understand." "And it's exciting to knowthat it's there, and also to knowthat there's no way for women to express that kind of feelingin the world." "* oh, girl" "I don't have any mixed feelingsabout hitting people." "I'm gonna try to, you know, do as much damage as I can." "It's kind of sick, but I don't mind getting hit because I know I can come back, you know, just as hard." "Getting hitis not only just part of it, but it's more... it increases the challenge." "It increases the test." "Those of uswho get the opportunity to do it and take it, you know, I mean, what a greater joy it is to be able to actually perform." "Even if I don't win..." "Ladies and gentlemen, the winner it's just stepping in there, doing what I had to do from the gold corner, tanya Dean." "...and doing it, actually going through with it." "And as far as we're concerned, they're both winners." "There's no way I could havewalked away from it." "So, everyone is saying it'sthe best fight of the night." "I'm not kidding you, really." "Are you gonna fight again, you think?" "Not for a little while." "I just couldn't understand why she wasn't going downevery time I came clocking her." "That's what was frustrating me." "She kept coming back." "She was strongerthan I expected her to be." "She fought a good fight." "When I'm fighting, I think..." "I think just, "how dareshe get in the ring with me?" ""How dareshe come up against me?" "Doesn't she know the power?" "Doesn't she know who I am?"" "That's exactlywhat I'm thinking." "Did I mess up my makeup?" "Did I mess up my makeup?" "You were pretty jumpyout there." "Yeah, well, you know, it kind of... the whole thinggets you a little bit revved up." "I don't know what it is, but... how did you preparefor this fight, coming in here?" "Got a manicure and pedicure." "* ooh-LA-LA * ooh-LA-LA you know it, baby." "Crowd, they say, was cheering for me." "They started cheering, "yellow, yellow."" "I was wearing the yellow shirt, and I couldn't hear it." "I kept running backup to the line, you know." "I didn't..." "I didn't back up too much, and I just..." "I just tried." "I just tried to stay in there." "I just tried to stay toe-to-toe." "If I would have heardwhat they were saying," "I know it would have helped me." "I know it would have pushed me because in the third round, they had me over to my corner." "They asked my trainers, you know," ""should we stop the fight?" "Should we stop the fight?"" "And everybody was, like, "no, no, no."" "As the corner manstarted to walk away, um..." "I mumbled to himto stop the fight." "Which is, uh..." "You know, that's somethingthat I have to live with for the rest of my life." "Well, I'm upset becausei thought I won the fight." "She got me in the third round." "But hey." "You have to have the character, to be able to take a punch and be able to sustain it and to retaliate at some time, but in a cool manner, not in a... in a very cool manner." "Not in a way that, you get hit, and you go crazy." "You take it, and you're just there." "You say, no, you got to findways to hit him." "Every three punches is a point, so you want toalways triple your punches." "I wouldn't let my daughter box, and I wouldn't let my son box." "Boxing is a brutal sport." "It's a tough man, tough woman competition that makes, you know... it's a hurting game." "You're trying to hit a targetthat can think and that can moveand then can hit you back." "I have a posteriorvitreous detachment." "It's in my right eye." "I knew something was wrong." "It affectsthe peripheral vision, and according to the eye doctor," "I shouldn't riskgetting hit there." "It could lead toa more serious detachment, a loss of vision completely." "Hey." "Are you left-handedor right-handed?" "Right-handed.-Oh, yeah?" "I'm not a southpaw.-Good." "One of the greatest boxersi ever worked with was Louis, Joe Louis." "I was his sparring partnerfor both the walcott fights." "You know him?" "Yeah." "Well, the funny thingabout boxing, the knockout." "Pure and simple." "See, most of my fightswas knockouts." "What round?" "First and second." "Ooh." "Impressive." "Yeah." "How does it feelwhen you knock somebody out?" "It just feels like I just." "...lt just feels great." "Feel real great." "Well, I didn't lose consciousness, which was what was good, but I guess it was just scaryto be laying there, not really know what happened, and to wake up and seea whole bunch of strangers." "Like, my eyes were all blurry, and then all of a sudden, people were asking mewhat my name was, and I just couldn'tget anything out." "And then the next thing I know, they bring the oxygen mask." "I said, "oh, my God."" "And as it turned out, my sister's watching at homein hysterics, crying because they cut to thaton channel 5, and they showed medown on the ground." "They showeda bunch of other fights, and then they went backand said, "she's fine." "We just talked to her."" "My sister's, like, "where is she?" "Where is she?"" "And it wasa really weird experience." "I used to come home, and he used to be, like,"take those gloves off." "What are you doing?"" "So I used to have Togo into my bathroom and actually shadowboxin my bathroom." "I didn't really care for it." "I didn't really thinkanything would come of it." "I would go to training, and then he thought I wasfooling around with my trainer." "I haven't even seen herin the last year 'cause she's been trainingwith this guy every night." "And then eventually whenthe gloves were coming around, he saw the big hype of it." "He was, like, "wow, you know, she's gonna be on TV."" "And then he was all gung-ho." "He was like, "wow, that's my wife."" "He's like, "check her out." ""You know, she just knocked that girl out, check her out, that's my wife."" "I'm proud of Christine.-We're proud of her." "How does it feel?" "You made history." "It feels good." "It feels really good." "It definitely feels good.-What's this all about?" "What's what all about?" "You know what it is?" "I know what it is." "It's mind over matter." "I am not a gifted athlete.However, I can get in and box." "Marciano was not pretty." "He wasn't technicallya great fighter, but he won." "He never lost." "And what I love about boxing is that, you know, little miss every day, you know, office personcan get in the ring, land a right cross, and feel great, and not even think about it." "Boxing takes a lot of work." "It takes a lot of discipline, and I always wanted todo something good, and this was my chance to proveto myself and to others, you know, that I'm a good person, and you know, I could bea positive role model." "And I wanted to doeverything right, you know." "Everybody was pulling for me." "The whole New York citydepartment of corrections was behind me." "And when I steppedinto the ring," "I had no feeling, actually." "I just was there." "And it felt like... it was like an out-of-bodyexperience, actually." "As I was fighting, it was like," "I could see myselfnot giving it my all." "I just seen all the life leave, and it was likei was outside looking in, watching myself lose, and I couldn't do anythingabout it." "Well, I told her." "I said, "look, anybodycan lose a fight, right?"" "So, I lost fights, and I fought a lot of fightsall over." "So, she could do the same thing, come back and fight." "It's hard to be so dedicatedand so focused." "And all I did was work, train." "You know, I neglected my son." "Not badly, but you know, as far as," "I really wasn't there for himbecause I just..." "I put everything aside." "I see some of these girls, they work just as hard assome of the fellas in the gym." "More dedicated thansome of the guys that train, and even hit harderthan some of the guys, so I think it depends on theindividual, you know, herself." "It was a devastating loss because my trainersbelieved in me, and I worked so hard for them, as well as for myself, and I feel like I letall the guys down in the gym." "Basically, you know, I let a lot of people down because they believed in me, maybe even morethan I believed in myself." "Men here, they fight golden gloves because they have dreams ofbeing world champions some day and making big money." "Where do you go from here?" "Um, to a bar." "No, I'm only kidding." "Has anybody asked youto fight for money?" "They askedif we wanted to go pro, and I said probably not." "Why not?" "I told people before, if you asked me five months ago if I would have foughtin the golden gloves," "I would have said,"absolutely not." "It's crazy.I would never do it."" "And here I am, so I don't knowwhat the future... so you're saying pro?" "Maybe, maybe not." "Maybe gonna go pro?" "Mm-hmm." "I got into boxingas just a workout, and I did the golden glovesas just for fun, and I did well in it." "And I got addictedto that whole high of, you know, being in the ringand fighting." "I liked the flashiness of pro and the kind ofdown and dirtiness of pro." "So, I turned pro." "In the golden gloves, I had two first-round knockouts, and I figuredi'd just knock her out." "So, I went in thinkingi'd just knock her out, and after two minutes, she was still standing." "And I didn't know what to do because all my ring experiencewas about 21/2 minutes." "Plus I got head-butted, and I got a cut over my eye, and I got dizzy." "So, it was a really bad scene." "As they werestitching up my eye," "I said..." "I said,"I'm never gonna do this again." "This is the last time."" "And someone said to methat they were thinking," ""next week, she's gonna say, 'I got to do this again.'"" "and sure enough, it took about two days, and I was sitting there, and I said... it hit, and I said, "I have to do this again."" "At first, I just felt humiliated." "I lost." "I was cut." "It was such a letdownfrom winning the golden gloves, and it was justsuch an incredible letdown," "I didn't even..." "I even had the outfit" "I was gonna wearafter the fight all picked out." "And I ended up in a hospital, you know, lying..." "I looked like a homeless personthat fell on the pavement in my pajama top." "It was so humiliating, you know?" "I was, like,"this is good for me." "It's building character."" "And I just, you know... and then everyone looking at youlike you're pathetic." ""Oh, I'm sorry."" "You know, like... right away, they think that's it." "Like, you'll do it whileit's glamorous and easy and fun, but the minute you get hurt, or you lose, well, now it's not fun anymore." "I'm not gonna do it." "But that made mewant to do it more." "So, each time I go in, I do better and better." "I think a little more." "I get a little furthering the fight." "I box a little moreinstead of fight." "I don't get as... as out of control." "You know, if each timei get better, that's my goal." "Bah." "Boom." "That's what I want." "And win or lose, I'm gonna do it again." "And fightingout of the red corner, weighing in at 109 pounds, wearing black trunks, no wins and 1 loss, from New York City," "Jill "zion lion" Matthews!" "All right, Jill." "I wanted a payback, and in boxing, if you win, that's your payback." "If you walked out in the streetand got hit by a car and died at that moment, it wouldn't matter because you've... you've arrivedat the happiest, most satisfied." "Everything was worth it." "And everything." "Even thoughyou just won in boxing, all the work I've ever done in everything else in my life seems to be... well, now I have my payback." "Right afterthe initial golden gloves, women were getting into it." "They obviously turned pro, like many of the men do." "And like the men, absolutely no difference." "They all have a dreamof becoming a world champion or someone very wealthythrough the sport." "Don King has picked up a female." "Bob arum has picked up a female." "They highlight 'em.They give 'em a lot of money." "They showcase them as undercard fighterson major events." "And the publicity is thereto follow them." "I'm not a devoteeof women's boxing, but it's a pleasure for meto promote Lucia rijker." "It's, you know, my breakthrough, my first big fight herefor... for top rank so I have to prove, you know..." "I thinki'm the first female fighter that Bob promotes on a big card, so I have to provethat I can fight." "A couple weeksbefore the fight, I... you know, I focus on the fight, and I go there in my mind, and I visualize it, and I feel it." "But not just before the fight." "What I do today is just relax." "It's beautiful." "I think it's 18,000 it holds." "I met Freddie through a friend." "It really worked well." "Yeah, we clicked." "Financially, I'm not really interested... interesting for him becausehe trains world champions who make millions." "But I'm happythat he was interested, and that he's training me now." "I had 54 professional fightsand 150 amateur, so I had quite a few fights, and I can tell youafter a couple of rounds if they can fight or not." "When she's at her best, and she's sharp, she can beat anyonein the world." "She makes it kind of funto work with." "Let's go, come on." "Right hand." "Right hand." "Right hand." "Again." "Got it." "I have three world championsright now, and she works just as hard, if not harderthan all of them put together." "Okay?" "I just want to comewish you guys the best of luck." "Lucia, I'm glad that finallyyou get to fight in Nevada, so." "Thank you." "All right." "I've seen you a lot, I watch on TV." "She's gonna do wellagainst her." "She's 30, and knows kickboxing, a 4-time world champion." "She really... she's... you'll be impressed.I was." "Yeah.-Okay?" "Someone told me, "this girl can fight."" "I say, "okay, she can fight for a girl."" "She can fight for anybody." "Luc." "Lucia." "Loose." "Loose." "Jab, jab." "Jab." "Two." "Sorry?" "This hand's no good." "Jab." "Oh, I'm sorry." "Two." "One jab." "First fight just started, freddie." "One, two." "One, two." "One, two." "Right here." "Again." "Loose, loose, loose." "Focusing on new challengeand letting go." "Focusing on a new challengeand then letting go." "That's what turns me on in life." "Before a fight, you know, you're not really in the world." "You live in your own worldbecause of that lifestyle of training and dietingand living for the sport." "Weighing in at 125 pounds, here is Lucia rijker!" "Rijker!" "Take care of business, huh?" "Ladies and gentlemen, the time, 1 minute, 43 secondsof the first round, the winner by technical knockout and still undefeated, lucia rijker!" "Rijker!" "Pleased." "Pleased as punch." "This is her first fight, in this a big venue here in Reno.-First time." "And a big hbo title fight." "A lot of pressure on her, and she did well." "She's a little bit nervoustonight." "She forgot her boots.-Sure." "You know, them things happen.-Yeah." "Now we've got our starthere in America, and we're gonna justshoot right up there." "Next." "Shoot." "It's been three years for mesince I fought in Holland, and I'm looking forward to it, to fight for my own people." "A lot of people from amsterdamare coming." "It's the citythat I'm born and raised in, and I'm excited.lt's totally new... boxing." "You know, last time I was here, I kickboxed, and yeah, I'm very excited to..." "I..." "I... when I... when I'm in my bedat night, I don't sleep, but I only see the fight, the arena." "Everything, like..." "like coming back here and starting all over, like a new life." "I'm the first registeredpro female boxer in Holland." "I feel good working with Freddie because he really works with meas an individual." "You know, works on what I need." "He's one of the toughestfighters in the world." "He really fought battles." "He doesn'tneed to prove himself." "He's there to help you." "He brings out my strengthbecause he let me be strong." "Attagirl." "I made a conscious decisionthat I want to be a boxer, and I want to grab the beltsthat are out there." "He loves what he does." "He can feelthat I love what I do." "It, like, works together." "A lot of fighters... ex-fighters don't make good trainers because they tryto make the fighter too much like themselves." "What I found to be the best way is to take their natural abilityand just improve on that, and make them believein me and themselves." "Because when she comes backto the corner, if she's not coming back to somebodythat she trusts and believes in, she's not gonna listen." "When I'm at my bestis when my mind is empty." "You know, you can sabotage yourself or motivate yourself." "I just want it clear." "More energy now." "That's new." "I never had that treatmentbefore the fight." "You know, I decide to boxand do it right, so why not, you know, take all the help you can get?" "'Cause it's offered." "Every little bit will help." "It's not just me." "It's a combinationof people around you that makes you successful." "The first thingpeople always ask is," ""is Lucia stronger than you?" "Does she hit you?"" "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah." "I say, "always, yeah, yeah, yeah, " but it is true." "I'm bigger, you know, but she's not easy." "12 minutes straight." "Yeah." "Two downstairs." "Okay, one big hit right here." "There you go." "Just go out there and box.Show your skills, okay?" "Everything behind that left jab." "Once that starts hitting home, everything'll come, okay?" "You look like a pro out there, all right?" "And you're using your footwork, all right?" "Feints, head movement, everything." "Put it all together now, okay?" "Good job, good job.Deep breath." "* rhythm, rhythm * rhythm, rhythm" "Lucia rijker!" "It's not that I try to hurtsomeone or destroy someone." "It's just, I try to winbecause it's in my way." "I have to, you know, eliminate it." "I felt sorry for her again because I didn't want tohurt her." "It's hit or getting hit." "You never know, some people grow in a fight." "And so, I'd ratherjust keep throwing punches until she doesn't want no more." "They threw the towel, and I thoughtthat was the right thing." "I wanted to thankall the people who helped me financially, emotionally, and spiritually." "And I also thank the peoplewho tried to sabotage me because they helped meto become who I am and a part of my success, as well." "I don't want my parentsto be here because they were never therewhen I started." "They don't know anythingabout fighting." "I mean, when I have a daughter, I will be there." "I probably will train herbecause I know the sport, but they don't know the sport, and it's very painful to seeyour daughter getting hit." "It's, you know, part of the game." "Blood is part of the game." "Pain is part of the game." "I don't want to do that to themuntil it's done so they can see later." "She visualizeswhat she's gonna do, what she wants to do." "She really wants to bewhat she is, so that's why... gives her joy." "She... she's... she respects me for that, for my determination, my strength." "It's kind of hard, the way I..." "I'm kind of hard on myself, and she knows that." "Yeah." "My hand's a little cold." "But it's nice becausei never hear her, you know, talk about me like this." "And I look like her a little bitif you look... big ears, and her eyebrows and eyes." "But my nose is a little small." "That's because of my dad.-Big nose." "What surprises me is thatthey never talked me out of it because it's a dangerous sport." "Yeah!" "Lucia rijker!" "I love to be home." "I'd like to reintroduce myselfas a boxer here." "But my goal is America." "'Cause when you conquer America, you conquer the world." "Lucia is young, and she couldfight for a long time, but I'd like to seeafter a couple years, her accomplish her goals and you know, become the bestwoman fighter in the world and make some moneyand get out healthy, you know." "This is a very demanding sportand, you know, go out on top." "That's the best way, I believe." "Through fighting, I'm forcedto work through things that I would normally never go." "It's too scaryto go certain places." "I have this newspaperon my mirror above a picture of me as a baby, and it's about a fighterwho died in the ring 'cause I want toreally stay aware of the side effects of boxing." "So, I'll be out of therein time, 'cause you get addicted, you know, to the publicity, to the money, the fame." "Before you know it, you're hooked." "And like, you know, many other fighters who keep making comebacks." "Like, when you see muhammad alibeing, like..." "I'm like, "God."" "You know, and there are a lotof other fighters who, you know, you don't really see it." "But they're slower, think slower." "They move slower." "They can't read." "You know, can't concentrate." "I mean, it's, I guess, part of the job, but I hope I'll be out of therein time." "I don't want tobecome one of them." "Part of growing upin my family." "My dad was a fighter." "All my brothers are boxers, so it's just part of growing up." "That's my dad there." "He was new england featherweightchampion in 1947, and then I won that titlein 1979." "And that's metowards the end of my career." "A little bit beat up." "I don't have to be a boxer." "I don't have to confront myselfwith myself." "Some reason I do, and I geta lot of benefits out of it." "It's only afterwards, of course, you realize that in the heat of the moment, you're just trying to survive." "I knew that something was wrong, that my opponent was, like, unexpectedly differentthan women in general... stronger than womenin general physically." "But also appearedlike very masculine." "I thought, no matter who my opponent is," "I just have to be strongerand better." "That's all." "A sword is uselessin the hands of a coward." "Touch 'em up." "Let's do it." "I go within, and I just fight with myself." "The moment the bell rang, I just wanted to box, but she came at me like, she just was in my face." "So I kind of panickedand thought," ""okay, let me hold you," and then think, what can I do?" "And I remember her making faces, like she was, like, wild." "And the only thing I thoughtwhen I was held her." ""How can I control her?" ""How can I make her calm down so I can, you know, have a little control here?"" "She doesn't care about whetherthe reputation Lucia rijker has." "She has come right outafter her, and hallback is unafraid." "This is shadesof hearns and hagler." "When I went back to my corner," "Freddie was so calming the corner, and he gave me the right advice, and in the third round, he told me, "one, two, three, step off to the side."" "Just like we did in the gym, lateral movement, okay?" "Three-punch combination, off to the side." "Three-punch combination, off to the side." "Make her turn to you, okay?" "Don't try to grab her 'cause that's whereshe's strong, inside, all right?" "That made me win my fight, and that made me knock herout of the ring." "She's close to finishing itnow, and down goes hallback." "Five, six, seven." "At the count of eight, she is up, mandatory eight count." "A couple of more punches, and I thinkthey should stop this fight." "Hallbackis a very weary fighter." "She can't hold up anymoreif she can't keep rijker off." "She's trying to fight back, but she is so fatigued, she can't get any leverage... she's down againand through the ropes, and this fight is over." "Lucia rijkerhas faced a test here tonight and passed the test." "I made it." "No matterwho they put me in with," "I proved that I can fight." "And that was a first." "She picks up her trainer.-She picks up her corner man." "Yes, yes!" "There's Lucia.She's happy young lady." "That's nice." "It's nice to see, what can I do, what I'm worth, you know, how far can I go?" "This is like an old-fashionedtype of training facility to get awayfrom all the distractions from the city life, you know." "The noise and the night clubsand the friends." "This gives you isolationand focus." "She lives with the guys, with the whole crew, spar partners, and James toney, five-time world champion." "Here we go, another dayat the office for the pony." "If you don't pay the bills, the lights must go out." "Pow." "I spoke with her about thatbriefly yesterday, and she said that, you know, it was kind of strange at first 'cause of, you know, being in the setting with just males only." "You know, had the male language, had the malelocker-room language and the male attitude, but..." "I think she's startingto tame them with her charm." "All the time, they joke or they, like, you know, you really have to... when you come out of the shower, you have to be carefulwhat you're wearing because every part of your bodythat you show," "they might just, like, "hey, baby."" "So, I walked out in a t-shirt, and there was this guy, Jody." ""Did you see her this morning?"" "And I'm, like, "what?" "What was up?"" ""Oh, yeah."" "'Cause I wasn't wearing." "I was wearing shorts, but you couldn't see becausemy t-shirt was hanging over it." "And then that's the talk atbreakfast... what I was wearing." "But I understand it, you know, and I said to them." "I said to one of them, I said,"within a week," "I'll look so... even morefeminine and beautiful, and..."" "because there's no woman around, and, you know, they don't have anybody." "So then they start to justlook for me, the only woman in the house." "So I'm, like, "oh, you'll get over it."" "But it's fun.lt's really..." "I learn a lot." "I learn..." "I learn to seewhere a real boxer comes from." "Boxing has been my lifefor 18 years." "And when I had to retire, it was, like, a total shock." "I was crying every night for, like, the lastyear and a half, two years, you know what I mean?" "I'm just like the..." "I guess the camp aide, you know what I mean?" "I have no exact title, just the guy who helps people, helps guysmake little adjustments in their fighting style." "I see a lot of things, and I get to make suggestions." "If I had a child, a son or a daughter, they wouldn't box, you know." "They get up in the morning, and they run." "They have breakfast.They go to the weight gym." "They come back." "They rest a little while." "They go in and do their sparringor floor work." "Lucia's sparring partner, this guy was good for her." "He's a young man from New York." "A rough, tough customer, andhe's not holding back at all, which'll make it good for herwhen she fights females." "Okay." "We all yearn for, you know, that instant roar of the crowd, instant gratification." "And fighting is one of the fewendeavors that allow that, you know what I mean?" "You're the man for a second or, in Lucia's case, the woman for a second." "Now that I'm retired, and she'll be retired some day, you take it for what it's worth, you know?" "You can't take it personal." "Just enjoy it for the moment, have a good time." "'Cause it's gonna end, you know?" "During the day, we're kind of on our own, then around 5:00, 6:00,we go off to Stan's house, and we havea great, great dinner." "His wife is a great cook." "After my workout, I reallylook forward to eating there." "What I like about it, it's like this big, huge table, and we're in therewith, like, 10 to 15 people enjoying our mealsand talk boxing." "Yes, sir." "Ali was my champion, sir." "Yes, he was, sir." "Stanley?" "I'm just trying to think." "No, he wasn't." "That was prior to liston, sir." "That was 1960..." "I said, but, sir, this was my next thing." "But I'm saying, but he did fight Ali." "Yes, he did." "How many times did Archie Moore challenge forthe heavyweight championship?" "Don't choke on the chicken." "Every time he foughtfor the title, he got stopped." "Who were they?" "There were... one was my man, rocky marciano." "Who was the first femaleworld champion?" "You mean now?" "Now.Oh, my girl." "That's my... my homey, my compadre." "Lucia rijker." "No." "No." "Aka, rijker's island." "That's the name." "For real, man." "Okay.-Yes, ma'am." "What's James toney'sfirst girlfriend?" "Oh, man." "Hey, Vanessa Williams." "Here's one for you.You, too." "Why don't you tell... about females?" "Who's the last boyfriendthat..." "Miss rijker had knocked out?" "Damn." "As a matter of fact... matter of fact, he's a fatal attraction now." "He still calls." "She beat him up so bad, he became fatal." "He always come backfor the whoopings." "I told him, "Derek."" "I said, "man, how do youhave respect for yourself?" ""You keep calling a womanthat whooped your butt time and time again."" ""Man, I just love her.I love her whoopings."" "It's a very growing experience to be in the one housewith, I think, eight men." "Or should I say eight animals?" "These guys scream." "They have loud music." "Yeah." "You know what?" "I think for me, it would have been better to stay in I.A.Because I am very focused, but I can relaxon the weekends." "I don't get aggravatedby pee in the shower, by the carpet is wetin the bathroom, by dishes who are not washed, by loud music at night, the bass, 5:30 in the morning, turns on the blast." "Boom, boom, boom." "That's how I wake up." "Second law of nature, you know, is to be civilin the presence of a lady, regardless of her occupation." "To stay sane, I chant." "If I don't, I become like them, you know?" "I become angry, and... and start to use intimidation, too, to get what I want, and I don't want to go there." "Like, when I want tomake a phone call to intimidate, when I want the channel onthat I want on." "No." "To stay aware, I chant." "I was telling Lucia yesterday, you know, I boxed for 18 years, and I've donea lot of different things." "This is the toughest thingi have done mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally, you know." "You know, I've never given birth, so, you know, I can't experience that." "But I've spoken to many women, and my mother says that, like, you know, giving childbirth is the toughest thingthat she ever experienced." "And aside from that," "I think that this isthe toughest thing that she'll ever experience." "Lucia, I mean." "Of course, I'm used toa certain degree of abuse, or else I wouldn't be a boxer." "But when I know why I'm a boxer and where I want to go with it, I can take it." "It's something I knowhow to do well or best so far, so it's a tool for me." "When you accomplish something, it gives you a certain power," "so I can use the fameto create something." "Especially when you want towork with children, if you have a name, if you accomplish something, people respect youand will listen to you." "That's why I do what I do." "Every fight, I grow, and I learn a lot about myselfand about life, and that wisdom I can pass onto a new generation." "If I didn't knowwhere I was going," "I could not deal with it." "Your environmentare people who've been abused, so are used to abuse." "It becomes normal." "Suck it up, whatever, but we have to protect ourselvesas a human being." "Your environment is, they want you to win." "Results, results, your fans, they want you to win." "A boxer does whateverto become a champion." "It's very addictive." "It's very addictive becauseyou get used to the attention." "Your performance todayis your self-worth." "You're bad, you're bad." "You're good, you're greating the ring." "So if you stop doing... stop being good, then you think you're worthless, and the attention gets less." "You think that you're unloved." "We love that perennialtap on the back, you know, that, "hey, champ." "How you doing?"" "We love that, and all boxers do." "It's part of my personality." "I need an audience, but it doesn'tneed to be boxing." "I hope by the time thati'm a recognized world champion, that I made some money, that I can do some thingson my own." "To me, winning is important, but also my health." "When a doctor tells you to stop, when I tell you that your brainis from a 70-year-old woman, if you continue boxing, you'll be like a plant, you have no choice." "And all these thingsare part of this game, and it makes me awarewhat I got myself into." "It doesn't take awaythe beauty of the game because I think it's beautiful." "But it's the other sideof the meadow." "It's a price you pay." "Night, baby." "I'm gonna tape himat 8:30, okay?" "What time is it now?" "And then I'm gonna glove you." "It'll take me 15 minutes, okay?" "Okay." "All right, toney." "Feeling good." "Okay, all right." "It pays bills." "The lights must go out tonight." "Long overdue.You know what I'm saying?" "Lights out." "Okay?" "Okay?" "Want to stretch out?" "I need the padding in here." "Hmm?" "Okay?" "All right." "Okay, Lucia." "You get ready to rumble." "Handle your business, Lucia." "Okay, let me sign these." "See, this ain't walls.These are curtains." "You can't lean on 'em." "She just likes to touch 'em." "Yeah." "She's been touching themfor a while now." "I'm starting to like it, too." "My butt's hitting himin the back." "Yes.lt's your night, baby." "Do your thing." "Two." "Three." "That's it." "One, two." "One, two." "One, two, hook." "One, two, hook." "One, two, right hand." "Nice." "Slow, slow, slow." "Jab." "She's gonna come at youwith that wild set." "You got it." "That's it." "Okay, here." "That's it." "That's a girl." "Attagirl." "When I go to fights," "I see them pounding intoeach other and blood and cuts." "I'm, like, "am I doing that, too?"" "I can't picture myselfin the ring doing that, but I do it." "Jab here." "Right hand to belly." "I don't think ofhurting someone and health issue because then I'll stop." "Good combination." "Nice and loose." "Jaw." "Yeah?" "We're ready, all right?" "Ready to go?" "Yeah." "Let's go." "And I sawone moment of weakness in her because she looked at me, and she thought, "wow," for one moment." "And then I thought,"now, you're mine." "I broke your spirit."" "Undefeatedin five professional bouts, all five winscoming by way of knockout." "She now hailsfrom Los Angeles, California." "Here is Lucia rijker!" "Rijker!" "* what you gonna do?" "* what you gonna do?" "* what you gonna do?" "* what you gonna do?" "* what you gonna do?" "* what you gonna do?" "* what you gonna do?" "* what you gonna do?" "* what you gonna do?" "It's human nature to avoid pain and to avoiddifficult situations." "By fighting, you confrontyourself with all these things." "You can get hit.You can get hurt." "You can get knocked out." "So it's like real life in there.lt's like real life." "* what you gonna do?" "* what you gonna do?" "It's not just fighting." "It's more than that." "A lot of women can find strength in seeing other women fightand be strong." "They can find something therethat they have, as well, even though they're not boxing." "If I know I won't get hurt, then it's less of a challenge." "* what you gonna do?" "* what you gonna do?" "* uh-huh" "I thank herfor giving me the opportunity to show my strengthand to overcome my weaknesses because without my opponent, I can't go there." "Ladies and gentlemen, one more time for these two fine competitors." "They deserve your applause." "Dora Webber and Lucia rijker." "Very good." "Very good fight, Luc." "She was a tough girl.-It was an excellent fight." "You don't have toknock everybody out." "You beat 'em up.-How's your hand feel?" "Very good.-Good." "Luc, believe me, you foughta beautiful fight out there." "That girl's tough." "Thank you.-Very good fight." "Even if you lose, it doesn't matter, because you did it." "You confronted yourselfwith what was out there." "Smile." "Come on, come on." "You're a beautiful girl, and you fought a great fight." "Believe me, okay?" "I wouldn't tell one lie to you." "I wouldn't lie to you, okay?" "Thank you very much." "All right?" "Yeah." "Ladies and gentlemen, we have a unanimous decision." "All three judges at ringside..." "Lou bogash, Robert paolino, and Bob o'brien... score it 60-54 to the winnerby unanimous decision," "Lucia rijker!" "Rijker!" "There's nothingthat can give you that high." "It's like you fly, and you walk on clouds." "The heightwould be to be world champion." "We'll see." "* ready, ready, ready, ready * ready, ready, ready, ready * ready, ready, ready, ready" "getting readyfor the world title fight." "This is, you know, what she wants." "She worked very hardto get there." "* one time * one time this girl from Germany," "I really don't knowwhat to expect." "We have to go out therein the first round and feel her out a little bit, and we'll just go from there." "* ready, ready, ready, ready * ready, ready, ready, ready * ready, ready, ready, ready." "I just want to see her fight." "* one time * come on * come on, come one * come on, come on, come on * ready, ready, ready, ready * ready, ready, ready, ready you got it." "* come on, come on." "I don't like itwhen other women fight, but when she fights, I concentrate on her technique and how she throws punches, and I really enjoy it." "Two." "One." "One." "* one time, one time." "I would rate her as one of the most talented fightersin the world today." "Forget being women boxing." "She does everything." "* one time." "I think thatshe's a great person, a very attractive person, and a good fighter." "* ready, ready, ready, ready." "Your world out there.Your world." "Let's go now." "All right.-All right." "Show time." "Wibf super lightweightchampionship of the world." "In the blue corner, coming from the great countryof Holland and making her home nowin Los Angeles, California, she wears black trunksand weighs in at 136 pounds." "She is undefeatedin 8 professional bouts with 7 winscoming by way of knockout." "Here is Lucia rijker!" "I did not knowwhat to expect at all." "I remembergetting hit on my ear." "I saw everything in slow motion." "And I thought,"okay, you lost your hearing," ""but you still have your eyes, so just... you know, you don't need your ears."" "You hear me?" "All right, Luc?" "You hearing me?" "Part of me said,"you're on your own now." ""And that's good." "You know what to do." "It's you and yourself, and you got to do it."" "The opponent could be somethingin life that you're afraid of." "People have many fears in life." "And I face themthrough fighting." "When I have to, I can drawfrom this power within me." "I can go there'cause I've been there." "There's this strengthinside everyone." "I went there'cause I had to go there." "The new wibf super lightweightchampion of the world," "Lucia rijker!" "I really go within, find my strength." "There's nothingthat can stop me." "* it's all about love * it's all about love" "* it's all about love * it's all about love" "* it's all about love"

"5, 6, 7, 8!" "What do you think the hell this is?" "You, you're up in 5." " Keep the change, Charlie." " Thank you." "Where the hell have you been?" "And where is Veronica?" "She's on stalked tonight." "But tonight's your sister act." "Don't sweat it. I'll do it alone." "Shit!" "All right!" "Move it!" "Hurry up!" "Ladies and gentlemen, the Onyx club proudly presents Chicago's hottest show." "Two Jazz babes moving as one." "The Kelly sisters!" "* Come on babe *" "* Why don't we paint the town?" "*" "* And all that Jazz *" "* I'm gonna rouge my knees *" "* And roll my stockings down *" "* And all that jazz *" "* Start the car *" "* I know a whoopee spot *" "* Where the gin is cold *" "* But the piano's hot *" "* It's just a noisy hall *" "* Where there's a nightly brawl *" "* And all *" "* That *" "* Jazz *" "* And all that jazz *" "* And all that jazz *" "* Slick your hair *" "* And wear your buckle shoes *" "* And all that Jazz *" "* I hear that Father Dip *" "* Is gonna blow the blues *" "* And all that Jazz *" "* Hold on, hon *" "* We're gonna bunny hug *" "* I bought some aspirin *" "* Down at United Drug *" "* I case you shake apart *" "* And want a brand new start *" "* To do * * that *" "* Jazz *" "Let's go, babe." "But I didn't even meet your friend." "That manager guy." "Don't worry, Roxie." "It's all taken care of." "You told him about me?" "Yeah, I did. lt's all moving." "* Find a flask *" "* We're playing fast and loose *" "* And all that jazz *" "* Right up here *" "* Is where I store the juice *" "* And all that jazz *" "* Come on, babe *" "* We're gonna brush the sky *" "* I bet you luck Lindy *" "* Never flew so high *" "* 'Cause in the stratosphere *" "* How could he lend an ear * * to all *" "* that *" "* Jazz?" "*" "* Oh, you're gonna see your sheba shimmy shake *" "* And all that jazz *" "* Oh, she's gonna shimmy 'till her garters break *" "* And all that jazz *" "* Show her where to park her girdle *" "* Oh, her mother's blood'd curdle *" "* If she'd hear her baby's queer *" "* For all * * that * * jazz *" " Hello, Mrs. Borusewicz." " Mrs. Hart." "This is Fred." "He's my brother." "* All * * that * * jazz *" "* Come on, babe *" "* Why Don't we paint * * The town?" "*" "* And all that jazz *" "* And all that jazz *" "* I'm gonna * * Rouge my knees *" "* And roll my * * Stockings down *" "* And all that jazz *" "* And all that jazz *" "* Start the car *" "* I know a whoopee spot *" "* Where the gin is cold *" "* But the piano's hot *" "* It's just a noisy hall *" "* Where there's a nightly brawl *" "* And all * * that * * jazz *" "Say it again." "You're a star, kid." "My little shooting star!" "* No, I'm no one's wife *" "* But, Oh, I love my life *" "* And all * * that *" "* Jazz!" "*" "* That Jazz!" "*" "Say it again, Fred." "Jesus." "Hey, why is the hurry?" "Amos ain't be home until midnight." "Freddie?" "Fred?" "Hey, you know, I don't want you to feel like I'm nagging or anything." "But don't you think it's about time for me to meet your friend down at the Onyx?" "It's been a month since you told him about me." "I know." "Cause that was the night they met Kelly, plus her husband and her sister." "You know, they said you found them in a kit together." "Guess from where it from." "Amos opened it to somebody else." "I throw him a party." " You're not going away, right?" " lt's getting late." "I've been thinking a lot about my anthem." "Whenever I get a good idea, I write it down at my diary before it puts off in my head." "And you know what've come to me?" "The other day, that all the really knock-out acts." "Have something more different going on, you know?" "Like, a signature bed." "And I thought my thing could be a loaf." "Give them just enough to feel hungry but always leave them one more." "Once I get a name for myself." "Maybe we can open up a club in Varum, you know?" "You could run it, and I could be the headliner." " Get off." " What's the idea?" "Wake up, kiddo, you aren't never gonna have an act." "Who says so?" "Face it, Roxie." "You're two big towers with skinny legs." "And I'm just a furniture salesman." "But you got connections." "You know, that guy down the club..." "There's no guy." "Yeah, that night... lt's the first time I set foot in that joint." "I get clicked from the trombone player." "So you never told anyone about me?" "Sugar, you're hot stuff." "I would say anything to get a piece of that." "Stay then." "Now?" "It has some laughs." "Let's just leave it like that." "Fred..." "You can't do this to me." "You get off!" "You touch me again, I'll put your lights out." " Wait..." " Your husband will be home soon, why don't you watch yourself." "Don't head into shit again." " You're a liar, Fred." " Oh, yeah, so what?" "You lied to me..." "That's right, sweetheart." "That's right." "You son of a bitch..." "Son of a bitch!" "You son of a bitch!" "Why you bothering, Sal?" "This one's all wrapped up." "I hear it's a new city record." "From killing to confession in an hour for that." "Why did you get a murder weapon?" "I keep a gun in the underway drawer." "Just in case it trouble, you know." "That's just fine." "Sign right there, Mr. Hart." "For you, I'm gladly." "Really in gladly." "And mind that you don't say we beat you up when you at the witness stand." "No, I give myself up." "Surrender at my own free will." "It's indeed you're the murderer." "Shooting a burglar ain't murder." "I'm always grateful if the citizens know the law." "Get him there." "You too." "Sit down." "Okay, from the top." "A man has got the right to protect his home and his love one, right?" "Of course he has." "I come home from the garage, I see him climbing through the window." "With my wife Roxie lying there, sleeping like an angel." "is that true, Mrs. Hart?" "I'm telling you, that's the truth." "My wife has nothing to do with it." "She won't hurt a worm." "Not even a worm." "Until I fired the first shot, then she opened her eyes." "She was somehow in sleep." "I would say she sleeps in charisma pray." "When I think of what would happen if I went off for a beer with the guy instead of coming straight home, it makes me sick even think about it..." "For her first number, Ms. Roxie Hart would like to sing a song of Loving Devotion." "Dedicated to her dear husband, Amos." "* Sometime's I'm right *" "* Sometime's I'm wrong *" "* But he doesn't care *" "* He'll String along *" "* He loves me so *" "* That funny honey of mine *" "* Sometime's I'm down *" "* Sometime's I'm up *" "* But he follows 'round *" "* Like some droopy-eyed pup *" "* He love me so *" "* That sunny honey of mine *" "Like I said, even though I shot him, he kept coming at me." "So I had to pull the trigger again." "* He ain't no sheik *" "* That's no great physique *" "* Lord knows he ain't got the smarts *" "* Oh but look at that soul *" "* I tell you the whole *" "* Is a whole lot greater than *" "* The sum of his parts *" "* And if you knew him like me *" "* I know you'd agree *" "* What if the world *" "* Slandered my name?" "*" "* Why he'd be right there *" "* Taking the blame *" "* He loves me so *" "* And it all suits me fine *" "* That funny sunny honey *" "* Hubby of mine *" "And supposed if... just supposed if he violated her or something." "You know what I mean, violated?" "I know what you mean." "Or something." "Think how terrible it'd have been." "It's good thing I got home from work on time." "* He loves me so *" " I'm telling you that." "* That funny honey of mine *" " I say I'm telling you that." "The name of deceased is Fred Casely." "Fred Casely?" "How could he be a burglar?" "My wife knows him." "He sold us our furniture." "He gave us 10% off." "* Lord knows he ain't got the smarts *" "You told me he was the burglar?" " You mean he was dead when you ot home?" "I'm covering for her." "She was telling me some story about this burglar." "And I'd say I did it because I was sure to get off." "'Help me, Amos." she said, "lt's my goddamn hour-need."" "* Now he shot off his trap *" "* I can't stand that sap *" "And I believed that cheap little tramp." "She's too smart on me, huh?" "And I protected her... I'm on the garage with my butt 14 hours a day." "And she's now promoted to a bon-bon?" "And traveling around like some goddamn pussy!" "She thought she can pull the world by that I wasn't pulled yet." "I tell you that something that I can take." "And this time she pushed me too far." "I didn't shoot him." "The woman is sucks!" "You double-crosser!" "You big bluffer mouth!" "You promised you'd stay..." "What're you talking about?" "You've been setting me up, Roxie!" " Goddamn it!" " You told me it was a burglar!" "The whole time you've been jazzing..." "You are a disloyal husband!" "Look, it's true. I shoot him." "But it was self-defense." "He was trying to burgle me." "From what I hear, he's been burgled you three times a week for the last month." "So what do you say, Mrs.?" " That's him, all right." " Thank you." "Your story doesn't work, Mrs. Hart." "So try this emphasize." "Fred Casely was a good time on the side but goofy here is a meal ticket." "Meal ticket?" "He couldn't buy my liquor." "And Fred Casely could?" "With a wife and five little Caselys?" "Or he forgot to mention them." "What?" "Oh, yes." "That bastard!" "Yes, I killed him." "I would kill him again!" "Once was enough." "Take her downtown." "Come on." "Take off!" "This way, honey." "Oh, come on. lt's a shame to hide such a beautiful face." "Why you shoot him, honey?" "Why don't you give a profile, a little smile like the girl in the toothpaste ad?" "Take while you can." "The case is down." "District attorney Harrison says this is a hanging case." "Hanging?" " l'm reay to go to the jury tomorrow." "Wait a minute, what do you mean hanging?" "Not so confident anymore, are you?" "Take her to the Cooke County Jail." "Come on, sweetie." "Headline." "What did you shoot him?" "is it..." "Hey, what do you mean hanging?" "...Caffeine or cocaine?" "Arm length. 31 inches..." "The matrons are on the way." "So don't get too cozy." "Put off that cigarettes!" "Ever had Morton before?" "She's fine... as long as you keep her happy." "And now, ladies and gentlemen." "The keeper of the keys, the counties of the clink, the mistress of murderers' row." "Matron Mama Morton!" "* Ask any of the chickies in my pen *" "* They'll tell you I'm the biggest mother hen *" "* I love 'em all and all of them love me *" "* Because the system works *" "* The system called reciprocity... *" "On your feet." "Welcome, ladies." "* Got a little motto *" "* Always sees me through *" "* When you're good to Mama *" "* Mama's good to you. *" "You might think I'd make your life a living hell, which is not true." "* There's a lot of favors *" "* I'm prepared to do *" "* You do one for Mama *" "* She'll do one for you. * l'd be your friend if you let me." "So if something upsets you or makes you unhappy in any way, don't shoot your fat-ass mouth on me 'cause I won't give a shit." "Now move it out." "* They say that life is tit for tat *" "* And that's the way I live *" "* So, I deserve a lot of tat *" "* For what I've got to give *" "* Don't you know that this hand *" "* Washes that one too *" "* When you're good to Mama *" "* Mama's good to you!" "*" "Let's go!" "You must be Hart." "You're a pretty one." "Thank you, ma'am." "Why don't you call me Mama?" "We can take care of you." "You'd be happy taken down in these blocks." "Murderers' Row, we called it." "Oh, is that nicer?" "I don't think I really belong in it." "I didn't actually do anything wrong." "Don't need to tell me, honey." "I never heard of a man getting killed." "Hey, mama." "Come here." "Velma Kelly?" "You're the Velma Kelly?" "You know I was there that night?" "I was there that night that you got arrested." "Yeah, you're happy in Chicago." "Look at this, Mama." "Another story of announcing me in Redbook magazine." "Not in memory do we recall so finishing horrible in double homicide." "Maybe you couldn't buy that kind of publicity." "Couldn't buy it?" "I guess I can keep these then." "Let's try." "* If you want my gravy *" "* Pepper my ragout *" "* Spice it up for Mama *" "* She'll get hot for you *" "* When they pass that basket *" "* Folk contribut to *" "* You out in for Mama *" "* She'll put out for you *" "* The folks atop the ladder *" "* Are the ones the world adores *" "* So boost me up my ladder, Kid *" "* And I'll boost you up yours *" "* Let's all stroke together *" "* Like the Princeton crew *" "* When you're stroking' Mama *" "* Mama's stroking' you *" "* So what's the one conclusion *" "* I can bring this number to?" "*" "* When you're good to Mama *" "* Mama's good to you!" "*" "Mama?" "It's... kinda freezing in here." "You don't think maybe there's something wrong with the heat?" "Not that I'm complaining, but... you know... lf you can bring something on the way..." "Lights out, ladies." "And now, the six merry murderers from the Cooke county jail in their rendition of The Seven-block Tango." "* Pop *" "* Six *" "* Squish *" "* Uh uh *" "* Cicero *" "* Lipschitz!" "*" "* Pop *" "* Six *" "* Squish *" "* Uh uh *" "* Cicero *" "* Lipschitz!" "*" "* Pop *" "* Six *" "* Squish *" "* Uh uh *" "* Cicero *" "* Lipschitz!" "*" "* Pop *" "* Six *" "* Squish *" "* Uh uh *" "* Cicero *" "* Lipschitz!" "*" "* Lipschitz!" "*" "* He had it coming *" "* He had it coming *" "* He only had himself to blame *" "* If you'd have been there *" "* If you'd have seen it *" "* I betcha you would have done the same!" "*" "* Pop *" "* Six *" "* Squish *" "* Uh uh *" "* Cicero *" "* Lipschitz!" "*" "* Pop *" "* Six *" "* Squish *" "* Uh uh *" "* Cicero *" "* Lipschitz!" "*" "You know how people have these little habit that get you down." "Like, Bernie." "Bernie likes to chew gum." "No, not chew." "Pop." "So I came home this one day, and I'm really irritated." "I'm looking for a little bit sympathy." "And there's Bernie, lying on the couch, drinking a beer and chewing." "No, not chewing." "Popping!" "So I said to him, "You pop that gum one more time..."" "And he did." "So I took the shotgun of the wall and I fired two warning shots... into his head." "* He had it coming *" "* He had it coming *" "* He only had himself to blame *" "* If you'd have been there *" "* If you'd have seen it *" "* I betcha you would *" "* Have done the same!" "*" "I met Ezekial Young from Suntex City about two years ago." "And he told me he was single." "And we hit it off right away." "We started living together." "He got to work." "He came home." "I fixed him a drink." "We did dinner." "And then I found out." "Single, he told me." "Single my ass!" "Not only he was married, oh no, he has 6 wives." "One of those moments, you know." "So that night when he came home from work, I fixed him his drink, as usual." "You know some guy just can't hold their ass in it." "* Hah!" "He had it coming *" "* He had it coming *" "* He took a flower *" "* In its prime *" "* And then he used it *" "* And he abused it *" "* It was a murder *" "* But not a crime!" "*" "Now I'm standing in the kitchen." "Cooking a chicken for dinner, minding my own business." "In storm my husband Wilbur in a jealous rage." ""You've been screwing the milkman," he said." "He was crazy." "And he kept on screaming, "You've been screwing the milkman!"" "And he ran into my knife." "He ran into my knife 10 times." "* If you'd have been there *" "* If you'd have seen it *" "* I betcha you would have done the same!" "*" "Yeah, but did she do it?" "Not guilty!" "My sister Veronica and I had this double act." "And my husband Charlie traveled around with this." "Nevertheless, the number in our act we did these 20 acrobatic tricks in a row." "1 . 2. 3. 4. 5." "Split." "Spread eagle." "Back flip." "Flip-flop..." "One right after the other." "So this one night before the show, we were down in the hotel, Sisera." "The three of us spoofing, having a few laughs." "And we ran out of ice." "So I go out to get some." "I come back." "Open the door." "And there's Veronica and Charlie, doing number 17:" "the spread eagle!" "Well, I was in such a static shock." "I completely blacked out." "I can't remember a thing." "It was until later, when I was washing the blood of my hands, I even knew they were dead!" "* They had it coming *" "* They had it coming *" "* They had it coming all along *" "* I didn't do it *" "* But if I'd done it *" "* How could you tell me that I was wrong?" "*" "* They had it coming *" "* They had it coming *" "* They had it coming all along *" "* I didn't do it *" "* But if I'd done it *" "* How could you tell me that I was wrong?" "* l love Al Lipschitz more than I could possibly say." "He was a real artistic guy." "Sensitive." "A painter." "But he was always trying to find himself." "He goes out every night looking for himself and on the way... he found Ruth," "Gladies, Rosemary, and Irving." "I guess you could say we broke a bit artistic differences." "He saw himself is alive." "And I saw him dead." "* The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum *" "* The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum *" "* They had it comin' *" "* They had it comin' *" "* They had it comin' *" "* They had it comin' *" "* They had it comin' * * All along *" "* 'Cause if they used us * * And they abused us *" "* How could you tell us That we were wrong?" "*" "* He had it coming *" "* He had it coming *" "* He had it coming *" "* He had it coming *" "* He only had himself to blame. *" "* If you'd have been there * * If you'd have seen it *" "* I betcha you would have done the same!" "*" "* Pop *" "* Six *" "* Squish *" "* Uh uh *" "* Cicero *" "* Lipschitz!" "*" "Who brings along them?" " lt doesn't belong to you." " Who then?" "Heard they were Velma's." "Hunyak does all her laundry for a week." "Fresh towels for change." "Make it quick." "...I can take care of you." "There're a couple of things, let me analyze to you." "Now, Billy Flynn set a travel on March 5th." "March 7th, you would be quit." "On March 8th, you know what Mama gonna do for you?" "Mama gonna put you back on the Vonville circus." "So now you're an agent too?" "Until you install private line in your cell, all calls are gonna go through me." "What kind of dough are we talking about?" "You know, it's a crazy world." "I mean, Babe Ruth is playing in palace for $5,000 a week." "Yeah." "And what about someone with real talent?" "Well, I can talk to the boys over Wianmarx." "With your recent sensation activity, they seems of thinking to give you $2,500." "$2,500?" "Geez, the most me and Veronica made is 35,000." "That's what happens when you have a Redbook presentation." "You know what, Mama?" "I always wanted to play in big Gym Conesus most." "Do you think you can get me that?" "The Gyms?" "I don't know." "It gonna take you another phone call." "How much is that gonna cost?" "Come on, Velma. I feel about you." "You're like family to me." "You're like one of my own." " l'll do for 50 bucks." " 50 bucks for a phone call?" "You must've got a lot of wrong numbers, Mama." "Oh, Miss Kelly." "That's your personals." "Oh, no. lt's my pleasure." "Hey, listen." "Can I ask you something?" "You know that Harrison guy?" "He said that what I've done is a hanging case and he's prepared to ask for the maximum penalty." "Yeah?" "So?" "So, I'm scared." "I'm sure would appreciate some advice, especially from someone I admire as much as you." "Since I can remember, I have wanted to be on the stage." "Really?" "What's your talent?" "Washing and drying?" "No. I dance in the chorus." "That was before I met my husband..." "Look, honey, you want some advice?" "Here it is, direct from me to you." "Keep your pawns off my underwear, okay?" "Yeah, okay." "Thanks... for nothing." "She's not that nice, ain't she?" "I tell you, no matter how big she gives, she's still as common as ever." "I'd like to help you, baby." "Take aloft." "So, what do you figure to use it for grounds?" "What do you mean grounds?" "What are you gonna tell the jury?" "I'm afraid I have to tell him the truth." " The truth?" " Yeah." "That's the one we take you to the death house." "Holy mother of God." "Relax. I mean, in this town, murder is a formal entertainment." "Besides, in 47 years Cooke County never hangs a woman yet." "So even it's 47 and 1, they won't hang you." " Jesus Mary Joseph." "It's nothing wrong with the people." "What you need, is Billy Flynn." " Who?" " Billy Flynn." "Some of the best criminal lawyer in Illinois." "He knows about juries and women." "How do you get this Billy Flynn?" "Not by prayer, dear." "First, you give me a hundred dollars." "Then I'll make a phone call." "A hundred dollars?" "Will you just... I mean, it seems pretty stiff for a phone call." "Over these work that we sent, he never lost a case for a female client yet." "And a sweet little puss like yours, let's just say what a blindness you got." "He never lost a case?" "Never." "Every girl in this place would kill to have Billy Flynn representing them." "* We want Billy *" "* Give us *" "* Double L.Y. *" "* We're all his *" "* He's our kind of a guy *" "* And ooh what luck *" "* Cause here he is... *" "Ladies and gentlemen, presenting the silver tongue, prince of the courtroom, the one and only..." "Billy Flynn!" "* I don't care about expensive things *" "* Cashmere coats, or diamond rings *" "* Don't mean a thing *" "* All I care about is love *" "* That's what I'm here for *" "* I don't care for wearing' silk cravats *" "* Ruby studs, satin spats *" "* Don't mean a thing *" "* All I care about is love *" "* All he cares about is love *" "* Give me two *" "* Eyes of blue *" "* Softly saying *" "* I need you *" "* Let me see her standin' there *" "* And honest, mister, I'm a millionaire *" "* I don't care for any fine attire *" "* Vanderbilt might admire *" "* No, no, not me *" "*" " All I care about is love... * *" " All he cares about is love *" "Good morning, ladies." "Not guilty!" "You tell him, sweetheart." "* That's what he's here for *" "Excuse me, gentlemen." "Miss Kelly, do you remember anything at all about that night?" "I passed out." "I can't remember a thing." "Only that I didn't do it." "Any idea who did it?" "No." "But my client is offering a substantial reward to anyone with information about this crime." "How much is the reward, Miss Kelly?" " l don't know, how much?" " We'll work it out after the trial." "Now, if there's no more question, Miss Kelly and I have got a lot of work to do." "Flynn, what is that about the reward?" "If the reporters ask again, deny the whole thing later on." " Thank you!" " One more question..." "* All he cares about is love *" " Mr. Flynn, I'm Roxie Hart." " Who?" "Roxie Hart, you heard about me." "Oh, yeah." "The cute one." "I was hoping that you might represent me." "You have $5,000?" "That's a lot of money." "Mama didn't say anything about $5,000." "Okay, Mr. Flynn." "I'm not very good at this sort of thing, but..." "Maybe we could make some sort of arrangement between us." "And I can be an awfully good sport." "Good, you got the idea system." "Listen, you mean just one thing to me." "You call me when you got $5,000." "* All he cares about is love *" "* Show me long Raven hair *" "* Flowin' down, about to there *" "* Let me see *" "* Her running' free *" "* Keep your money, that's enough for me *" "* I don't care for drivin' Packard cars *" "* Or smoking Long Buck Cigars *" "* No, no, not me *" "* All I care about is *" "* Doin' the guy in *" "* Who's pickin, on you *" "* Twistin' the wrist *" "* That's turnin' the screw *" "* All I care about * * is love!" "*" "Oh, he'll see you now." "Hello, Andy." "Amos, my name is Amos." "That's right." "Take a seat." "You know, you're a remarkable man." "Who has two times used." "Pluck the guy and try to pick it on you." "Most men are gonna dim like that swing." "But no, you're sticking by her." "Actually you're a hero in my eyes." "That's right. I'm a hero." "Did you bring the money?" "I didn't do as well as I hoped." "But, I will, Mr. Flynn. I will." "This is only a thousand." "Plus this 300 l borrow from the guy down at the garage, and the 700 from the building in Long Fund." "$2,000?" "And that's all I got so far." "But I'd give you $20 of my salary every week." "I'd give you a note with interest." "Double, triple, until every cent is paid, I promise." "You came to me yesterday, I didn't ask you if she's guilty." "I didn't ask if she's innocent." "I didn't ask you if she's drunk, or a dope, no!" "All I said was, do you have $5,000?" "You said yes!" "But you don't have $5,000!" "So I figure you're a dirty liar and I don't waste my time with dirty liars." "Look... I'm really sorry, Mr. Flynn." "On the other hand, your devotion to your wife is really very touching." "I'll take your wife's case." "And I'll keep it." "Because I play square." "Now look, I don't like to blow my own horn." "But believe me." "If Jesus Christ lives in Chicago today and if he had $5,000 and he come to me, things would have turn out differently." "All right, this is what we gonna do." "At the end of the week, I'm gonna have Roxie's name at the front page of every newspapers in town." "Sweetest little Jazz killer in Chicago." "That's the angle I'm after." "You make an announcement, we're gonna have an auction." "Tell them we gotta raise some money for the defense." "They'll buy everything that she touched." "Everything." "Your shoes, your dresses, your perfumes, your underwear." "And the trolled records." "Like the one I was playing when I shot the bastard." "I didn't hear that." "Not that I didn't have ground to remind you." "Hey, what are they?" "When we go to trial, nobody is gonna care a lick what your defense is unless they care about you." "So first thing we gotta do is work up some sympathy from the press." "And I'll push you like some Mary Sunshine." "But there was one thing they can never resist." "And that is a reformed sinner." "So tell me, what's your favourite subject in school?" "There must be something that you're really good at." "I got high marks in courtesy in Hygiene." "Perfect, you wanted to be a nun." "A nun?" "When were you born?" "On a chicken farm outside Lopac." "Beautiful setting home, feel every luxury in refinement." "Where're your parents now?" "Probably on front port on Genre..." "They're dead." "Family fortune swept away." "You're educated as a sacred heart." "Then you fell into a runaway marriage." "Left you miserable, alone, unhappy." "Of course you got all swept up in a mad world, the city." "Jazz, cabarets, liquors." "You're drawn like a moth to the flame." "A moth?" "Now the man sees and you're a butterfly." "Crushed on a wheel!" "Wait, what did you say?" "is it the moth or the butterfly?" " You have sin in your soul." " God, that's beautiful." "Cut out God." "Stay with your battle acquainted." "Kid, when I'm through with you, not only will you be acquainted, you can remain on the jury." "I wanna take you home to meet his mother." "I was born on a beautiful Southern corn dent." " What?" " Holy shit!" "I'd never gotta get this straight!" "Pipe down and swearing." "Look, from here on," "You'd say nothing wrong." "Now try it again." " l was born on..." " Come on..." "You know what I'm gonna do at witness stand?" "I thought I'd get all teary eyes and ask for your handkerchief." "Then I think I'd take a peek at the jury like this." "Flash a bit of the thigh, what do you think?" "It sounds great." "Hey, don't you want to hear the rest?" "Knock it off." "You're on the top of my list." "Well, well, well." "Sorry to be late, Mr. Flynn." "Hope you're not too bored." "I like it. I like it." "Hey, I heard your press conference is tomorrow." "Yeah, what is to you?" "Well, you wanted my advice, right?" "Whatever it is, don't forget Bailiff's number-one client is Billy Flynn." "Meaning what?" "Meaning, don't let him hug the spotlight." "You're the one that pay the see." "Remember, we can only sell them one idea." "I can still see him coming at me with that awful look in his eyes." "And?" "And we... both reached for the gun." "That's right, you both reached for the gun." " Ready?" " Yeah." "Thank you, gentlemen." "Miss Sunshine." "My client just entered pleads of not guilty." "We look forward to the trial the earliest possible dates." "Now is there any question?" "Miss Sunshine." "As you know, my paper is dry." "Do you have any advice for young girls, speaking to avoid the life of Jazz and drink?" "Absolutely yes." "Mrs. Hart feels that it was the tragic combination of liquor and Jazz, which lead to the downfall." "Next question, please." "Ladies and gentlemen, I'd just like to say how flattered I am that you all came to see me." "Mrs. Hart is very..." "He said I was a moth..." "crushed on a wheel." "Butterfly drawn to the... I bet you want to know why I shot the bastard." "Shut up, dummy." "Mr. Billy Flynn in the press conference." "Notice how mouth never moves... almost." "Where'd you come from?" "* Mississippi *" "And your parents?" "* Very wealthy. *" "Where are they now?" "* Six feet under. *" "But she was granted one more start" "* The convent of The Sacred Heart!" "*" "* When'd you get here?" "* * 1920 *" "* How old were you?" "*" "* Don't remember *" "* Then what happened?" "*" "* I met Amos *" "* And he stole my heart away *" "* Convinced me to elope one day *" "Oh, poor girl, I can't believe what you've been through." "A convent girl, a runaway marriage." "Now tell us Roxie." "* Who's Fred Casely?" "*" "* My ex-boyfriend. *" "* Why'd you shoot him?" "*" "* I was leavin'. *" "* Was her angry?" "*" "* Like a madman *" "* Still I said, Fred, move along. *" "She knew that she was doin' wrong." "* Then describe it. *" "* He came toward me. *" "* With a pistol?" "*" "* From my bureau. *" "* Did you fight him?" "*" "* Like a tiger. *" "He had strength and she had none." "* And yet we both reached for the gun *" "* Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes we both *" "* Oh yes we both *" "* Oh yes, we both reached for *" "* The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun *" "* Oh yes, we both reached for the gun *" "* Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes they both *" "* Oh yes, they both *" "* Oh yes, they both reached for *" "* The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun, *" "* Oh yes, they both reached for the gun * * for the gun. * * understandable. understandable *" "* Yes, it's perfectly understandable *" "* Comprehensible." "Comprehensible *" "* Not a bit reprehensible *" "* It's so defensible!" "*" "* How're you feeling?" "*" "* Very frightened *" "* Are you sorry?" "*" "Are you kidding?" "* What's you're statement?" "*" "* All I'd say is *" "* Though my choo-choo jumped the track *" "* I'd give my life to bring him back *" "* And?" "*" "* Stay away from *" "* What?" "*" "* Jazz and liquor *" "* And?" "*" "* And the men who *" "* What?" "*" "* Play for fun *" "* And what?" "*" "* That's the thougt that *" "* Yeah *" "* Came upon me *" "* When?" "*" "* When we both reached for the gun!" "*" "* Understandable, understandable *" "* Yes, it's perfectly understandable *" "* Comprehensible, comprehensible *" "* Not a bit reprehensible *" "* It's so defensible!" "*" "* Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, they both *" "* Oh yes, they both *" "* Oh yes, they both reached for *" "Let me hear it!" "* The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun *" "* Oh yes, they both reached *" "* For the gun *" "* For the gun *" "* A little louder!" "*" "* Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, they both *" "* Oh yes, they both *" "* Oh yes, they both reached * *" " Oh, yeah *" "* For the gun, the gun, the gun, the gun *" "* Oh yes." "They both reached *" "* For the gun *" "* Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, they both *" "* Oh yes, they both *" "* Oh yes, they both reached for *" "* The gun, the gun, the gun,the gun *" "* Oh yes, they both reached for the gun. *" "* Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, they both *" "* Oh yes, they both *" "* Oh yes, they both reached for *" "* The gun, the gun, the gun,the gun *" "* Both reached for the...gun *" "...The windy city has taken a new criminal to a charge." "Let me remind you the name is, Roxie Hart." "The sweetest lady ever accused in a murder in Chicago." "Women want to look like her." "Fellows want to go out with her." "Some little girls even want to take her home." "Don't get any idea, little lady." "On the other side of town, the assistant D.A. promise the game little jump shooter will swing before lridark." "Who knows?" "If he lit up to his word, assistant D.A. Harrison might become governor Harrison someday." "At the scene of the crime, everybody wants a little piece of Roxie Hart." "The jar would send her husband back 20 dollars!" "Maybe this pretty little lady would get some of that famous Roxie style." "It seems everybody these days is looking for Roxie Hart." "Send the flowers to the yard and you make sure they send them." "So, kiddo, you have any thought what you wanna do after they get you off?" "Yeah, I think I'd like to go on stage." "I figure it much." "I already called the Morris office." "Really?" "How much is that gonna cost me?" "It's a fairly deal." "10% of all your takings." "Yeah, we'll see, Mama." "Besides, I don't even have an act yet." "Killing Fred Casely was your act." "That's solo steps in the audience." "That song is my favourite." "It's a freak act." "Besides, I'm better than that." "Of course you are." "I mean, you can be as big as Sophie Tago." "You really think so?" "Maybe Canton and Joseph combined." "You know, I always wanted to have my name on the papers." "Before I met Amos, I used to date this wealthy dude, ugly bootlegger." "He used to take me out and show me off." "Ugly guys like to do that." "Once it said in the paper, gangland alcopaly seen a shade Vito with cute blonde." "That was me." "You know all my life, I wanted to have my own act." "But, no..." "Always no, they always turned me down." "One big world-ful of no." "And then Amos came along." "Save sweet Amos." "He'll never say no." "I've never done this before." "But you know, it's such a special night." "And you are such a great audience!" "And I really feel like I can talk to you, you know?" "So forget what you read in the papers." "And forget what you heard on the radio." "Because..." "because I'm gonna tell you the truth." "Not that the truth really matters." "But I'm gonna tell you anyway." "In the apartment, Amos was... zero." "I mean,when he made love to me,it goes like..." "was he fixing a operator or something." "I love you, honey..." "Anyway, I start to fool around." "And I start screwing around." "Which is fooling around without dinner." "Then I met Fred Casely." "He said he could get me into a bought film." "But that didn't quite work out like I planned." "I guess it didn't really work out to Fred either." "So I gave up the whole idea." "If you can't figure out for all of these, opportunities just pass you by." "And now, with all these publicity, I got me a world full of yes!" "* The name on everybody's lips *" "* Is gonna be *" "* Roxie *" "* The lady raking' in the chips *" "* Is gonna be *" "* Roxie *" "* I'm gonna be a celebrity *" "* That means somebody eveyone knows *" "* They're gonna recognize my eyes *" "* My hair, my teeth, my boobs, my nose *" "* From just some dumb mechanic's wife *" "* I'm gonna be *" "* Roxie *" "* Who says that murders not an art?" "*" "* And who in case she doesn't hang * * can say she started with a bang?" "*" "* Roxie Hart!" "*" "* Boys *" "* They're gonna wait outside in line *" "* To get to see *" "* Roxie *" "* Think of those autographs I'll sign *" "* Good luck to you, *" "* Roxie *" "* And I'll appear in Lavaliere *" "* That goes all the way down to my waist *" "* Here a ring, there a ring *" "* Everywhere a ring a ling *" "* But always in the best of taste *" "* Oooh I'm a star. *" "* And the audience loves me. *" "* And I love the audience and they love me * * for loving them." "And I love them for loving me. *" "* And we jus to love each other. *" "* That's because none of us got any love in our childhood. *" "* And that's show biz, *" "* Kid. *" "* She's giving up here humdrum life *" "* I'm gonna be *" "* Roxie. *" "* She made a scandal and a start. *" "* And Sophie Tucker will shit, I know *" "* To see her name get billed below *" "* Roxie Hart!" "*" "* Roxy *" "* Roxy *" "* Roxy *" "* Roxy *" "* Roxy *" "* Roxy *" "I just can't take it anymore." "Can't go anywhere without hearing about that dumb woman!" "Oh, Mama, not you too." "I've got some bad news, kid." "The tool has been cancelled." "What?" "Your name is out of the paper too long." "I read about today, it's the Hart kid." "She's hot." "And what am I supposed to do?" "Suck up to her like everybody else?" "It couldn't hurt." "Over my dead body." "Mind if I join you?" "Lights out." "Smoke?" "Look what some Johnny sent me." "Triple cream caramel, all the way from San Francisco." "I'm watching my figure." "You know, the trial." "Hey, Great mentioned that you're on a trip today, huh?" "There have been so many, I just can't keep track." "Let me tell you, you're exactly same size as my sister." "I mean, you fit into her costume perfectly." "Really?" "Yeah, and I'm just thinking, you know, with all the publicity piled up between us when Billy gets us off, we would be a natural to do an act together." "You think so?" "Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Velma Kelly and Desperation." "* My sister and I had an act that couldn't flop *" "* My sister and I were headed straight fo the top *" "* My sister and I earned a thou a week at least *" "* Oh, yeah!" "*" "* But my sister is now, unfortunately, deceased *" "* Oh, I know it's sad, of course *" "* But a fact * * is still a fact *" "* And now all that remains *" "* Is the remains *" "* Of a perfect * * double *" "* act!" "*" "* Watch this. *" "They have to match it with 2 people." "It's just all two people." "* First I'd... *" "* Then she'd... *" "* Then we'd... *" "* But I can't do it alone!" "*" "* Then she'd... *" "* Then I'd... *" "* Then we'... *" "* But I can't do it alone!" "*" "* She'd say, "What's your sister like?" *" "* I'd say, "Men," *" "* She'd say, "you're the cat's meow" *" "* Then we'd wow the crowd again *" "* When she'd go... *" "* I'd go... *" "* We'd go... *" "* And then those ding-dong daddies started to roar *" "* Whistled, stomped and stamped on the floor *" "* Yelling, sreaming, begging for more. *" "* And we'd say, "O.K. fellas, keep your socks up." * * you ain't seen nothin' yet!" *" "* But I simply cannot do it * * alone!" "*" "So what do you think?" "Come on, you can say." "I know you're right." "The first part is shit." "But the second part..." "Second part is really nifty." "* When she'd go... *" "* I'd go... *" "* We'd go... *" "* And then those two-bit Johnnies did it up brown *" "* To cheer the best attraction in town *" "* They nearly tore the balcony down *" "* And we'd say. "Okay, boys... * * we're goin' home, but before we go here's a few more parting' shots!" *" "* And this... * * this we did in perfect unison. *" "* Now, you've seen me goin' through it *" "* It may seem there's nothin' to it *" "* But I simply cannot do it *" "* Alone!" "*" "So where's the part we blew the brains out?" "Okay, Roxie. I'll..." "No, don't bother." "You think you're fooling me?" "You're all washed up." "And it's me they want now, and I'm a big star." "Single." "I almost forgot." "You're in the paper today too." "In the back." "Velma Kelly's trial has been postponed indefinitely." "Seven words." "Here a little piece of advice." "Direct from me to you." "Lay off the caramels." "And now, for all you Chicago's stay-up-laters." "Night hours would only come alive at the dark." "We dedicate this to you." "Chicago After Midnight." "This all took place in Lesurevelt?" "Incredible." "All right." "Thanks." "They just arrest this woman for triple homicide." "Really?" "Yeah, get this." "She's an Aries!" "And her family is in the pineapple or grapefruit, some kind of fruits." "The demon Kitty works in something..." "She's playing house." "On the north side in an apartment, she met Harry." "What Harry does for living, no one's quite sure." "But it doesn't really matter cause she's paying all the bills." "Anyhow, Kitty comes home tonight." "Harry was already in bed." "She goes to change." "When she returns, she notices something rather odd." "There're strippers in the apartment." "Kitty disappears for a second." "And she returns, she gently wakes up Harry." "Harry says, "What?" "I'm alone!"" ""Alone?" she says, " you have two other women in bed with you!"" "And Harry says, "Come on, darling, you gonna believe what you see or what I tell you?"" "Good night, folks." "Miss Baxter, Miss Baxter!" "Mary Sunshine from The Evening Star." "Would you mind saying a word or two?" "Sure I'll say things." "Go to hell!" "Please direct your question to the counsel." "Tell the counsel I want my money back!" "It's not your money." "It's your mother's money." "Are you sorry, dear?" "Yeah, I'm sorry that I got caught." "Okay, Miss Sunshine." "Hello, Roxie." "I got a letter from a guy." "He says he gonna hungry strike till I'm free." "That's nice." "Miss Baxter, did you know these two ladies personally?" "Did I know these two ladies personally?" "Was that your question?" "Yeah, that's my..." "She's very hot spirit, isn't she?" "Miss Baxter..." "Hey, Mr. Flynn." "Yeah, hi, Tracy." "lt's Roxie." "Yeah, sure, I'm just kidding." "Did you get my trial date yet?" "Listen, kid." "l'm on top of your list, right?" "Go to hell!" "What a helling, huh?" "And social-like too." "Her mother owns all the pineapples in Hawaii." "What the hell do I care about pineapples?" "All right..." "That's all for the questions." "And I'll be happy to get back to you myself." "Billy..." "How does it feel, kid?" "Pretty soon we couldn't find your name in the papers." "Mr. Flynn?" "Someone open the door immediately." "Oh, my god." "Roxie!" "What is it to you?" "Oh, no." "Don't worry about me." "I only hope the fall didn't hurt the baby." "Baby?" "Shit!" "Well, doctor, is she or isn't she?" "She is." "Would she swear that statement in court?" "Yes." "Good. I need to fly." "Would just like to say that my own life doesn't matter now." "It's just that my unborn child." "Poor girl, you'd have your baby born in jail." "My readers won't stand for that." "I can assure you that won't happen." "The trial would come in the least possible moment." "First time we're ever have one more girl locked up." "Hey, Roxie..." "Roxie!" "I just have the good news!" "I'm the father." "Hey, Roxie, who's the father?" "The question is completely out of line." "How dare you insult this young woman?" "Roxie, honey!" "It's me, it's daddy!" "Roxie, I'd get to you as soon as I could." "* If someone stood up in a crowd *" "* And raised his voice up way out loud *" "* And waved his arm and shook his leg *" "* You'd notice him *" "* If someone in the movie show *" "* Yelled "Fire in the second row" *" "* This whole place is a powder keg!" "*" "* You'd notice him *" "* And even without clucking like a hen *" "* Everyone gets noticed, now and then, *" "* Unless, of course, that personage should be *" "* Invisible, inconsequential me!" "*" "* Cellophane *" "* Mister Cellophane *" "* Shoulda been my name *" "* Mister Cellophane *" "* 'Cause you can look right through me *" "* Walk right by me *" "* And never know I'm there... *" "* I tell ya *" "* Cellophane *" "* Mister *" "* Cellophane *" "* Shoulda been my name *" "* Mister *" "* Cellophane *" "* 'Cause you can look right through me *" "* Walk right by me *" "* And never know I'm there... *" "Oh, I didn't see you." "Sit down." "Look, Andy, I'm afraid I'm gotta hit you hard." "I can only hope you would think about it." "Amos, my name is Amos." "Who says it wasn't?" "It was the kid's name I was thinking about." "You know when she dues?" "September." "You'd pass out those cigars anyway." "I don't want you to give a damn on the people." "People what?" "Laugh." "Laugh?" "Why would they laugh?" "They can count." "Can you count?" "September." "It's the first copy of Roxie's statement from D.A. office." "Says she hasn't copulated with you for four months prior the incidents." "She would know." "Yeah, I guess we've done no copulating since..." "Wait a minute." "That doesn't figure out right." "I couldn't be the father." "Well, forget about that." "My client needs your support." "You mean she needs a meal ticker?" "That's all I've ever been." "This time she's gone too far." "What you gonna do?" "Divorce her?" "You're damn right!" "I'll divorce her!" "She probably won't even notice." "Yeah. I'm sorry." "* A human being's made of more than air *" "* With all that bulk, you're bound to see him there *" "* Unless that human bein' next to you *" "* Is unimpressive, undistinguished *" "* You * * now *" "* who... *" "You're still in here?" "Yeah, I'm still in here." "* Shoulda been my name *" "* Mister Cellophane *" "* 'Cause you can look right through me *" "* Walk right by me *" "* And never know I'm there... *" "* I tell ya *" "* Cellophane *" "* Mister Cellophane *" "* Shoulda been my name *" "* Mister Cellophane *" "* 'Cause you can look right through me *" "* Walk right by me *" "* And never know I'm there *" "* Never even know I'm there. *" "I hope I didn't take up too much of your time." "I've been waiting for you 10 minutes." "Don't do that again." "This dress makes me look like a no-worth lambshake. I'm not wearing this." "You wear it because I tell you to wear it." "I'm not wearing this dress." "And when Andy's on the stand, I want you to do knitting." "Knitting?" "For Christ's sake." "A baby garment." "l don't know how to knit!" "Then learn." "That's no way to win the jury's sympathy." "You don't need advice anymore?" "Look at here, Mr. Mouthpiece." "It seems to me that I'm the one who's coming up with the good ideas." "I'm sick of everybody telling me what to do." "And you treat me like dirt." "You treat me like some dump, common criminal." "But you're some dump, common criminal." "Well, it's better than be a greasy-mite lawyer." "We've been shaving your ass." "Who ask for all that?" "He can steal!" "Maybe you'd like to appeal on court without me." "Maybe I could." "Have you read the morning papers?" "They love me." "There maybe a lot more when you hang." "You know why?" "'Cause it's sold more papers." "You're fired." "l quit." "Any lawyer in this town would die to have my case." "You're a phony celebrity." "You're a flash." "In a couple of weeks, no one would give a shit about you." "That's Chicago." "No!" "Not guilty!" "What happened?" "It's Hunyak." "She lost the last appeal." "So what does that mean?" "What that means?" "Next week, she's gonna..." "This is Mary Sunshine, coming to you from the Cooke County Jail, where history would be made today." "Katelin Helinsky would become the first woman in the state of Illinois to be executed." "And so ladies and gentlemen..." "And now, ladies and gentlemen, for your pleasure and your entertainment, we proudly present Katelin Helinsky and her famous Hungarian Disappearing Act." "Bravo!" "You know, it's really not that bad." "You're clear with everything you read?" "Yup. I've been up all night rehearsing." "What do you do when Harrison come after you?" "I sit still and look straight ahead." "Never look the jury." "And?" "And I look modest." "And?" "And..." "And say nothing." "That's right, that's right." "That was the deal, right?" "Right." "You ask me back, I do all the talking and stuff." "Absolutely, Billy." "Whatever you said." "Mr." "Flynn, the honours are here." "Thank you." "You ready?" "Yeah." "Billy... I'm scared." "Don't be." "I've been around a long time." "Believe me, you've got nothing to worry about." "It's all a circus." "A three-ring circus." "The trial, the whole world..." "is all a show business." "Kid, you gonna be a star." "* Give 'em the old razzle dazzle *" "* Razzle dazzle 'em *" "* Give 'em act with lots of flash in it *" "* And the reaction will be passionate *" "* Give 'em the old hocus pocus *" "* Bread and feather 'em *" "* How can they see with sequins in their eyes?" "*" "* What if your hinges all are rusting?" "*" "* What if, in fact, you're just disgusting ?" "*" "* Razzle dazzle 'em *" "* And they'll never catch wise!" "*" "* Give 'em the old razzle dazzle *" "* Razzle dazzle 'em *" "* Give 'em a show that's so splendiferous *" "* Row after row will grow vociferous *" "* Give 'em the old film flam flummox *" "* Fool and fracture 'em *" "* How can they hear the truth above the roar?" "*" "* Roar, roar, roar. *" "* Throw 'em a fake and a finagle *" "* They'll never know you're just a bagel, *" "* Razzle dazzle 'em *" "* And they'll beg you for more!" "*" "Object!" "Sustain." "Your honour, I haven't even asked the question yet." "* Give 'em the old razzle dazzle(cave) *" "* Razzle dazzle 'em *" "* Back since the days of old Methuselah *" "* Everyone loves the big bambooz-a-ler *" "* Give 'em the old three ring circus *" "* Stun and stagger 'em *" "* When you're in trouble, go into your dance *" "* Though you are stiffer than a girder *" "* They let ya get away with a murder *" "* Razzle dazzle 'em *" "* And you've got a romance *" "Hello, Amos." "Amos?" "That's right, Mr. Flynn." "Amos, when did you file sue for divorce?" "A month ago." "Was there any reason for filing at this particular time?" "I'd say, the newspapers said Roxie was expecting a little stranger." "That's hardly a cause for divorce, isn't it?" "A little too much of a stranger." "You mean you doubted the fraternity of the child." "Most sure." "Tell me something, Amos." "Do you sleep with your wife?" "Yes, sir, every night." "You expect the jury to believe that you slept next to this woman every night without exercising the rights of a husband?" "l could if I want to." "Oh, but you didn't." "No, I did." "Did what?" "Want to." "But you didn't." "Didn't what?" "What you wanted." "Wait a minute, I'm getting confused here." "Hey, you tell me, Hart." "Since you ever question Roxie herself, did you even bother to ask her if you were the father of the child?" "No, sir." "No." "What?" "If you confirm that you were wrong, you'd be man enough in a minute." "You would take her back if Roxie swore that you're the father of the child," "which she does." "She does?" "She does!" "No more question!" "You can step down now." "Well done, Andy." "Roxie, I'm so sorry." "* Give 'em the old *" "* Razzle dazzle *" "* Razzle dazzle 'em *" "* Show 'em the first rate sorcerer you are *" "* Long as you keep 'em way off balance *" "* How can they spot you got no talents?" "*" "* Razzle dazzle 'em *" "* Razzle dazzle 'em *" "* Razzle dazzle 'em *" "This is the moment we've been waiting for." "Roxie Hart finally takes the stand in her own defense." "* And they'll make you a star!" "*" "Proceed, Mr. Flynn." "Roxie, I have here a statement that you admitted having illicit relation with deceased Fred Casely." "is this statement true or false?" "I'm afraid that's true." "You're an honestly girl, Roxie." "When did you first meet Fred Casely?" "When he sold Amos and me our furniture." "In your personal relationship with him, you told the jury when that began." "When I permitted him to escort me home one night, I don't think I would've gone with him if Mr. Hart and me hadn't quarreled that very morning." "Quarrel?" "Yes, sir." "Well, I supposed it's his fault." "Oh, no, sir. lt was my fault." "I supposed I just couldn't stop pestering him." "Pestering him?" "By what?" "I didn't like him working those long hours at the garage." "I wanted him home with me..." "to done his socks and iron his shirts." "I wanted a real home." "A child." "So you drifted into this illicit relationship because you're unhappy at home." "Yes, most unhappy." "Roxie Hart!" "The state has accused you the murder of Fred Casely." "Are you guilty or not?" "I'm not guilty... I killed him, I did." "But I'm not a criminal. I'm not a criminal..." "Roxie..." "Did you recall the night of June 14th?" "Could you tell the jury in your own words the happening of that night." "When Fred came over, I told him a good news." "What was it?" "That me and Amos are gonna have a baby." "And it was all over between us." "What happened then?" "Then..." "Did he threaten you, Roxie?" "Objection, your honour." "Counsel is leading the witness." "Sustain." "What does Casely say when you told him the news?" "I'll kill you before I see you have another man's child!" "Could you tell the audience..." "the jury, what happened next?" "In his passion, he tore off my robe and he threw me on the bed." "And Mr. Hart's pistol was lying there between us." "And then!" "And then we both reached for the gun and I got it first." "And then he came towards me with this awful look in his eyes." "He was angry and wild!" "Wild!" "And did you think that he might kill you?" "Oh, yes, sir!" "So was his life or yours?" "And I just mine." "I closed my eyes and I shot!" "To defense for your life!" "And to save my husband's innocent unborn child." "Order!" "What a bull's eye, huh?" "Order in this court!" "Roxie!" "Here in the courtroom..." "Mrs. Hart's behavior has been truly extraordinary." "Opening her eyes, she fenced herself with her attorney's handkerchief." "Handkerchief?" "Poor child has no relief." "She looks around now, seeming to want something." "It's a glass of water." "Oh, Mama, that was my bid!" "I told Billy, I wanna do that at my trial!" "But now her eyes flatter wildly and she..." "Mrs. Hart has fainted again." "She flumps over her chiffon dress up around her knees, revealing a glimpse of blue garder with Ryan-stone buckle." "Oh, Mama, she stole my garder." "She stole my garder!" "Don't break my radio!" "First she steals my publicity, then she steals my lawyer, my trial date, now she stole my goddamn garder." "What do you expect?" "I mean these days you get a little success and it's good rinse for the people who put you here." "It ain't no justice in the world." "That's nothing you can do about it." "You think they got you a page just to listen to my radio?" "People and publicity only interested in things when we think no one's looking." "Oh, Mama." "State call for the witness." "Left down on bible, raise your right hand and swear you'd tell the truth to God." "Have a seat." "Would you state your name for the record please." "Velma Kelly." "Miss Kelly, would you please tell the court the object I'm holding is the one you have come upon in the defendant jailhouse?" "Yes, it is." "I submit this as appendix." "Roxie Hart's diary." "I object!" "My client never kept a diary." "Even if she did, this would be invasion of privacy and violation of fourth amendment and illegal search without a warrant." "Yeah, and she broke the law." "Order!" "Well, that settles that. I'll allow it." "What's the big deal?" "She's the one that did it." "If you would read for us, Miss Kelly." "I haven't worked in a while." "What a laugh, plucking Fred Casely." "The big baboon had a common." "I'm just sorry I only glad to kill him once." "I never wrote that." "You..." "Hey, she made that up." "She made that up!" "Order!" "Please, Mr. Flynn, get control of your client." "I'm sorry, you honour." "It won't happen again." "Sit down and shut up." "Or else it gonna get worse." "I have no more questions." "Your witness, Mr. Flynn." "Ladies and gentlemen, a tap dance." "Tell me, Miss Kelly, you make a deal with Mr. Harrison maybe to drop all charges if you testify here today?" "Oh, sure. I'm not a complete idiot." "Good." "Since you gave such an impressive performance for Mr. Harrison, can you do me the same honour?" "l'd be delighted." "Thank you." "Fred Casely assured me to get me an audition down at the Onyx." "And then he reneged and that's my motive for attack." "Pretty fancy." "What you're saying if a big fat liar who rogue on a deal so I shot him." "Amos accused me of having an affair." "So I told him that the charge was erroneous." "Objection, your honour." "Mr. Flynn is twisting the evidence to draw conclusion to the specious and the..." "Erroneous?" "Exactly." "Order!" "Miss Kelly, did you know the meaning of the word perjury?" "Yes, I do." "You also know that is a crime?" "Yes." "And for example if it turns out you knew this diary was a fake, I hate to think you rotting away in prison for the next 10 years especially when you just win your freedom." "All I know is what I was told." "So... you didn't find this diary in Roxie's cell?" "No." "Mama..." "Miss Morton gave it to me." "She said someone sent it to her." "Someone?" "Any idea who this mysterious benefactor might be?" "No." "She didn't know." "All right, let's work this out." "Someone who writes about reneging on pledges." "And... erroneous charges..." "Call me crazy, does that sound like a lawyer to you?" "A lawyer, who honestly has a sample of my client's handwriting." "Mr. Harrison, do you have Roxie to write out a confession to you?" "Yes, but you're not suggesting that I tempered with evidence, are you?" "No, let's not be ridiculous." "That's absurd." "Unless you mention it." "Your honour, this is outrageous." "Outrageous?" "Yes." "The prosecutor would made a thief bargain with Velma Kelly." "And then fabricated the very evidence and set her free!" "Mr. Flynn, hold your contempt." "No, it's not even conceivable." "But does it worked?" "Would it be time to say," "Come clean, Mr. Harrison, come clean..." "This guy is a corruption." "I cannot stand." "That's enough, Mr. Flynn!" "I agree, your honour." "That's enough!" "It defend stress." "Ladies and gentlemen, this is Mary Sunshine reporting live from the Cooke County Courthouse." "The city of Chicago has come to a complete stand still." "As the trial of century finally draw to a close." "Mrs. Hart sits quietly at the defense table, hands folded." "What fate has installed for her?" "There's hassles over the courtroom as the 12 men of the jury has back to their seats." "Gentlemen of jury, have you reach a verdict?" "We have, your honour." "The jury has reached a verdict." "The defendant please rise." "What is your verdict?" "We, the jury, find the defendant..." "Roxie hart is innocent!" "She's innocent!" "Roxie Hart is free!" "Come on!" "Move it!" "She shoots her husband and she crossed the lawyer!" "Hey, don't you wanna take my picture?" "Hey, I'm the famous Roxie Hart." "Hey, what happened?" "What the hell happened?" "It's Chicago, kid." "You can't beat fresh blood on the walls." "What about my publicity, Billy?" "My name on the papers." "I was counting on that." "Your attitude is not the one I get." "I just save your life." "You got $5,000." "What do I get?" "I get nothing." "Five?" "Actually it's ten once I collect from Velma." "I get nothing?" "Don't forget your diary." "It could be on mine." "I had a few erroneous phrases in there." "Sorry, I couldn't tell you." "Take a chance." "Never lost a case." "You're a free woman, Roxie Hart." "And God save Illinois." "Roxie." "What do you want?" "I want you to come home." "You said you still wanted to..." "and the baby..." "Baby, what baby?" "Oh, Jesus." "What do you take me for?" "There ain't no baby." "There ain't no baby?" "They didn't even want my picture." "I just can't understand that." "What didn't they even want my picture?" "* It's good, *" "* Isn't it, grand?" "*" "* Isn't it, great?" "*" "* Isn't it, swell?" "*" "* Isn't it, fun?" "*" "* Isn't it?" "*" "* Nowadays *" "Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Roxie Hart says Good Night." "* There's man, *" "* Everywhere jazz, *" "* Everywhere booze, *" "* Everywhere life, *" "* Everywhere joy, *" "* Everywhere *" "* Nowadays *" "* You can like the life you're living *" "* You can live the life you like *" "* You can even marry Harry *" "* But mess around with Ike *" "* And that's *" "* Good, *" "* Isn't it, grand?" "*" "* Isn't it, great?" "*" "* Isn't it, swell?" "*" "* Isn't it, fun?" "*" "* Isn't it... *" "* But nothing * * stays *" "* You can like the life you're living *" "* You can live the life you like *" "Didn't she kill a guy a while back?" "Yeah, who can keep it straight anymore?" "* But mess around with Ike *" "* And that's *" "* Good, *" "* Isn't it, grand?" "*" "* Isn't it, great?" "*" "* Isn't it, swell?" "*" "That's great." "We'll keep in touch." "You know I'm not quite finished yet." "I have a..." "Wait, don't go." "I could... just a second..." "Goddamn it!" "Thank you!" "Here's your music, honey." "Thanks." "You know you're really pretty good." "Yeah." "What are you doing here?" "I've been making around." "Well, if not fooled up by you, I'll be swinging right now." "Come on, I was there to get you off." "You should learn how to put things behind you." "Thank you." "I'll put that at the top of my list right after finding a job and an apartment with a john." "Can you shut up and listen to me?" "You really are something." "Coming in here like some goddamn queen bee, full of advice for slop like me." "Let me tell you something, Miss Velma Kelly." "I got a new life now." "And one of the best thing about it, is it don't include you." "Fine. I just thought we could help each other out." "Wait, you thought wrong, didn't you?" "Listen to me." "I talked to this guy in downtown." "He says one chance hurts nothing these days, but two..." "We can make a couple hundred a week." "Think about it, Roxie." "Faces back on the papers and names in the market." "Velma Kelly and Roxie Hart." "Should it be alphabetical?" "That could work." "A couple hundred?" "Maybe we can ask for a thousand." "We'll worth it." "Forget it, it'll never work." "Why not?" "'Cause I hate you." "There's only one business in the world that's no problem at all." "Ladies and gentlemen, the Chicago theatre is proud to announce the first." "The first time anywhere that's been an act throughout this nation." "Not only one little lady, but two." "You read about them in the papers, and now here they are." "Chicago zone killer-dealers, the lady-sinners," "Roxie Hart and Velma Kelly!" "* You can like the life you're living *" "* You can live the life you like *" "* You can even marry Harry *" "* But mess around with Ike *" "* And that's good?" "*" "* Isn't it, grand?" "*" "* Isn't it, great?" "*" "* Isn't it, swell?" "*" "* Isn't it, fun?" "* * isn't it?" "*" "* But nothing stays *" "* In fifty years or so *" "* It's gonna change, you know *" "* But, oh, it's heaven *" "* Nowadays *" "Okay, you babes of Jazz, let's kick up the bass." "Let's make the party longer, let's make the skirt shorter." "Let's all go to the heaven that makes all the people hot!" "Me and Roxie would just like to say thank you." "Thank you!" "Believe us, we could've never done anything without you!" "* And all *" "* That *" "* Jazz!" "*" "* That Jazz!" "*" "T" "Th" "Tha" "That" "ThatJa" "ThatJaz" "ThatJazz!" "ThatJaz" "ThatJa" "ThatJ" "That" "Tha" "Th" "T" "* That Jazz!" "*"

"Previously on Crisis..." "We found them." "Nobody approaches us." "The house is rigged to explode." "Any trespass results in detonation." "I just checked on him." "Then check on him again." " I'm real sick." " I know." "This is coming to an end;" "it's gonna be over soon." "You need to think about what's going to happen next." "I thought that was you going to jail." "You need to listen to your lawyer's advice, Meg." "Take the Fifth." "We can help each other or we can hurt each other." "I just want my daughter back." " No I.D. on him?" " No, sir." "We're looking for a white male, nicknamed Buddy." "Get with security and have them run every man here through that filter." "Finley, right there." " Kyle, I'm sick." " You can have him now." "Who's here from transport?" "That'd be me." "You can have five kids right now." "We only need one thing from you:" "Secret Service Agent Marcus Finley." "He's here." "1x11" " Best Laid Plans" "The minefield will have a kill switch." "If you stay alive long enough to do anything, get to that." "Good luck, sir." " When do we see the kids?" " When Finley is 25 yards from the house," " we will send them." " Come on, Gibson." "What are you doing?" "Stop there, please." " Send the kids." "I'm here." " Send the kids now." "Who has eyes on that door?" "I want to see in there right now." "This is Assault 3." "You have the image." "There." "That's Gibson there with the hostages." "He's not the one doing the talking." "Please advance towards the door." "When do the kids start walking?" "Send them." "Send them now." "Just keep going." "Don't look back." "Thank you." "Wayne Carter, Madison Alva, Ryan Carson," "Zoe Richmond, Ty Harper." "Five, as promised, but not the one you're looking for." "Not the president's son, because today we have a message for President Devore." "Turn around, put your hands on your head." "Mr. President, how far will you go, what would you do for your child?" "These are our demands if you call off the FBI:" "a plane to the country of our choosing, presidential pardons for all of us, including the parents of the children who've committed crimes." "You do this in the next three hours, and your son comes home." "Refuse, Mr. President... or fail... and your son dies." "I have no idea what this is." "What did they do to him in there?" "It's better if I don't come out there." "I understand." "Whatever you decide, you have my support." "Of course." "I'll be monitoring the situation from here." "I understand, Mr. President." "Hey, hey." "They are surrounded." "We will get them out." " We will use everything." " It won't be enough." "They took those kids." "They've done what they wanted." "They killed that boy." "They're gonna kill ours." "You know I can't do it." "You're the most powerful man in the world." "Give them what they want, please." "I can't." "What does any of this matter if Kyle is dead?" "I can't negotiate with kidnappers!" "Hey, Secret Service." " You remember me?" " Yeah." " How you doing?" " Better than you." "Take him to the hole." "It's almost over." "The world knows where you guys are." "We'll get you home!" "And take him back to the kitchen; it's question time." "No!" "No, no, no!" "No, no, no, please, no!" "Please, don't!" "No, no, please, no more!" "Hey, hey, hey, hey, he said they're gonna save us, okay?" "They're right outside." "They're right outside." "Shh, shh, shh." "We're gonna be okay." "He's gonna be okay." "If the house is rigged to explode and the kidnappers are ready to die, we can't breach without major loss of hostage life." "That wasn't Gibson we were just talking to." "No, it wasn't, but that doesn't mean that he's not in control." "Whoever was in control back there is using two parents:" "the president and a white supremacist." "I want to know what they have in common." "So exactly where is our Aryan brother, Mr. Delman Birch, now?" "We don't have him, sir." " What?" " No, I I.D.'d him" " at that work station right over there." " That wasn't Delman Birch." "That was Landon Green, a 20-year FBI agent." "Someone got into our system and switched their I.D.s, sir." "We're increasing our cyber security, but this is Delman "Buddy" Birch." " And, sir, he's been here." " In the ICC?" "This is the surveillance footage." "Once we got the correct I.D., we use facial recognition, and, well, I've isolated it for you." "That's Delman "Buddy" Birch." "What's he holding?" "That looks like a container, sir." "Full of the sick boy's blood." "Okay, I've got the president about to lose his kid, and I've got a neo-Nazi with a cooler full of blood and half a brick of C-4." "You find Buddy and you find out" " what the hell he's up to." " Yes, sir." "Sir?" " What about Finley?" " For now, he's on his own." "Gibson..." "I know what Widener did to your daughter." "I know he threatened to kill Beth Ann." "Jonas, I'm assuming you told Agent Finley that Widener had threatened the life of my daughter." " Francis..." " It's okay." "It's the truth." "You want to keep her safe, this is not the place for her." "End this!" "We can keep her safe." "Open a secure line." " Can you hear me?" " Copy." "We're gonna be making some calls." "Copy that." " Agent Dunn." " Yeah?" "National Guard found the medevac van Delman Birch left here in, abandoned." "He switched cars." "What surveillance do we have in that area?" "None." "It's outside the search grid." "We have a BOLO out for him now." "Go." "He's on a mission for Gibson." "Every attack has been against the CIA." "You, can you get me the Senate hearings schedule for today?" " When is Widener there?" " One moment, ma'am." "Director Widener was there all day yesterday, he'll be there all day today." " Anything else you need?" " No." "Demand was issued by the Ballard kidnappers to the President of the United States today." "With the FBI just outside of where the kidnappers are holding those hostages, it seems that Kyle Devore's life is now hanging in the balance." "Been listening to the news." "You got me and the U.S. president working for you today." "You just worry about what you need to do." "You just think about your son." "Did you do as I instructed?" "I have the blood, bought the suit and the C-4." "Are you where you need to be?" "Right out front." "I do this, I get my son, right?" " Yes." " What happened to your kid?" "Something must have happened to your kid make you hate like this." "Go now, Buddy." "Save your son." " Now who the hell is this?" " Who the hell is who?" "Get down!" "Find out right now who leaked that video call to the press." "Excuse me, ma'am." "We have some information on Delman Birch for you." " Did you find his son?" " No, something else." "What are... what are you doing?" "We found out his son uses his mother's maiden name, not Birch." "His mother's maiden name is Hawkins, so he's Delman..." "Delman Hawkins, missing in action." "Dad." "Is it really you?" "Yeah." "It's me." "I'm sick, Dad." "I brought something for that." "How does he seem?" "Well, he's not shaking anymore, but..." "But what?" "But, uh, he's got this look in his eyes." "I've never seen it before." "What's been going on in here?" "Now, give your son the phone." "They told me he was missing in action." "I'm-I'm not giving him the phone until you tell me what they've done to my son in here." "Give me the phone." "This is Hawkins." "Hawkins, we met a long time ago when you were first selected for the program." "I'm sorry, I don't remember you." "A lot's happened since then." "Are you ready to receive orders?" "Yes." "Please authenticate that you have the authority to give them." "Francis... you've never spoken these words." "And once you say them, once he hears them, there's no going back." "There is no going back." "Lawn chair." "Griffin." "Broken stick." "Harbor." "Rusty chain." "Smoke." "Lawn chair." "Griffin." "Broken stick." "Harbor." "Rusty chain." "Smoke." "Who do I have to kill?" "Buddy's son is Delman Hawkins." "One of the soldiers you and Finley pulled" " from the Pakistani Embassy?" " One of Widener's hit squad, and Widener is testifying on the hill right now." "All right, I'll increase security on the Hill." " You get out there." " I need to make a stop in Alexandria first." "The bulletin we put out for signs of C-4 usage came back a hit." "An explosion at a store in Alexandria with armored doors and windows." " What kind of store?" " Business forms." " With armored doors and windows?" " I know." "Black site." "The blood they took from that boy... any sign of it yet?" "This just happened; they haven't processed the scene yet." "Go find out what our father-son team" " was doing at that black site." " Yes, sir." "Yeah." "It's for you, Miss Fitch." "Yes?" "Last time we spoke, I said we were just getting started." "Do something for me today, your daughter walks out of here." "Why should I believe you this time?" "The only thing you need to believe is that there was a dead boy in a barn, and a mother who put him there." "I know who you are, Francis." "We all do." "You are going to testify against Widener today." "I need you to take a weapon into that Senate hearing." "How?" "You've been counseled to plead the Fifth." "We will change your legal strategy." " You have retained new counsel." " And who is that?" "Hey." "How long do you think it's been?" "Since..." "they gave your dad that demand?" "An hour." "He won't give in to them." "That Secret Service agent said they're coming in for us." " They're gonna get us out." " If they were gonna come in, they would've come." "These people here, they're smarter than the FBI." "But not smarter than your father." "He knew the FBI would be here soon." "He said he had a plan to get us out when that happened." "If my dad says he has a plan, then he has a plan." "It'll be okay." "Hey." " What do you want?" " Him." "Kyle." "Stand closer to him." "Put your arm around him, son." "Proof of life." "They all just saw me outside, so they know I'm better than any newspaper you could hold." "Yeah, you're quick." "Put your head down." "Lower your head." " Your dad won't give in to them." " I know." "Show me your face." "Hey, I said show me..." "Get his gun, Kyle!" "Get his gun!" "Hey!" "Whoa!" "Whoa." "Now you stand there, still." "I can't shoot you yet, but I will break your knees!" "Sir?" "We need you in the control room." ""Sir?" I know you're not running the show." "You're not smart enough." "You're lucky I still need you." "We'll get him next time." "It's okay, Kyle; we'll get him next time." "Agent Finley." "What's his status?" "We don't know, sir." "WhataboutLuke?" "The hostage they released." "How's he?" "Not good, ma'am." "They don't know what's wrong with him." "He's... he's dying." "The doctors don't expect him to make the day." "You find out what they did to him." "You can't let him die." "Yes, ma'am." "If I may ask, sir, about your boy..." "If you've..." "decided to make a statement of any kind?" "Widener's on the Hill today." "CIA hearings have started." "I assume that's why Gibson is making this demand on me." "But you know that I can't." "This office can't give in to any demand." " I understand." " Director Olsen... when the kidnappers call you to tell you that they're going to... do it I want you to put that call through to us." " I want to be there." " Yes, ma'am." "Ms. Fitch, are the allegations true?" "Ms. Fitch, is your company involved in illegal CIA programs?" "Did you know about the soldiers held under the Pakistani Embassy?" " Do you know who took your daughter?" " Will you testify or take the Fifth?" " That man will be joining us." " What do you mean, joining us?" " As outside counsel." " What are you talking about?" "I use him for certain CIA matters, to keep a firewall between you and that part of the business." "You had outside counsel that I didn't know about?" " Yes." " Who is he really, Meg?" "Just do your job, Clayton, and remember" " who you work for." " Ms. Fitch." "This is Kurt Heller." "He'll be joining our team as outside counsel." "He needs to be cleared to enter the Senate hearing with us." "We put his name in the system;" "I'm sure it's come up" " on the list by now." " I'll just check that out." "I.D., please?" " They're running it now." " Copy that." "Mr. Heller, you are clear." "I need a room where I can speak with Ms. Fitch in private." "I'm sure we can find a room where these" "FBI agents won't mind waiting outside while we spoke." "I think Mr. Heller wants to talk to me alone." " Isn't that right?" " Yes." "That's right." "Can I ask if you've seen my daughter?" "No." "But I have something for you." " A two-way transmitter?" " When we go in, you'll wear it." " So Gibson can be in my head." " I wouldn't know, ma'am." "Let me look at you." "I just want to see your eyes." "Pharmaceuticals." "My pharmaceuticals." "You're one of them." " Can I ask your real name?" " Hawkins." "I'm supposed to bring in a weapon." "And it's you, isn't it, Hawkins?" "You're the weapon." "... is positive for C-4. {*}" "Took out the iron-barred window along with victim number one." " Where's victim number two?" " This way." "Have you ever seen anything like this?" "Actually, yeah." "Yeah, I have." " Empty." " Yeah, there were blood vials in it, but they're empty, too." "Over here." " Waiting for an I.D. on that one." " That's Delman Birch." "Blast didn't kill him." "Strangled." "Someone used his hands." "Suspect for this one is Delman Hawkins." "That's Mr. Birch's son." " What was going on in here?" " You wouldn't believe me if I told you." " I found the vials, but no blood." " We're running out of time." "Something in his bloodstream is causing him to deteriorate rapidly." "Whatever's in Luke's blood was injected into another man." " I need to know exactly what." " What I think it is is an advanced cocktail of amphetamines." "I need the exact ingredients." "His organs are beginning to shut down." "He was strangled." "There are no bullet wounds." " So, whose blood is this?" " The only survivor." "From shrapnel wounds." "We didn't find him right away because he had managed to drag himself into that closet." " Another agent like the woman out there?" " This one had on a white lab coat." " Where is he?" " Bus took him five minutes" " before you got here." " Stop that ambulance so I can get to him." "Agent Finley?" "I killed Hurst." " I know." " Do my parents know what I did?" "Yes, Kyle, they do." "I had to." "Hurst was gonna kill Mr. Gibson." "You did what you had to do, Kyle." "Your parents are proud of you." "Kyle, why exactly was Hurst trying to kill Mr. Gibson?" "It was during the attack." "They were calling my name." "They were trying to get to me." "Hurst had a gun to Mr. Gibson's head." "I had to..." "Hurst shot you, Finley." "He's bad, right?" "He's one of them." "Kyle, you did the right thing." "Okay." "Okay, Kyle, I'm free." "Someone's coming." "Come here." "You let them in, and I take them out." "I get to the command center," "I turn off the mines, and we go home, okay?" "No, they are going to kill me today." "No, they're not." "Nice move with the pipe." "You don't think we have cameras?" "I'm not getting anywhere near you." "Let's go, Finley, or I put one through both of you." "This man needs to be moved." "This man needs to answer some questions, and then he can go." " Where's Hawkins?" " I don't know." "But he walked out of here." "He's operational again." "He was injected with blood taken from a dying boy." "Is that how they got the cocktail into Hawkins?" "It must be." "Well, it's killing that boy, and I don't want to see any more dead kids, so this is what's gonna happen." "You're gonna talk to the doctor and you're gonna tell him exactly what was in it so we can save his life; are we clear?" "Only Clarenbach knows exactly." "I'll do my best." "Agent Dunn, patch me through to quarantine." "Agent Finley, they're going to question you." " Like they questioned me." " Do I get dinner with this show?" "No, listen to me." "They set up Hurst, they..." "It'shisturntotalk now." "I want to know every piece of equipment." "Every law enforcement agency." "How many agents, how many soldiers, where they are now." "You should ask somebody else." "Is this where Hurst shot you?" "The minefield will have a kill switch." "Get to that." "They will keep beating you, Agent Finley!" "What's the count matter?" "Just tell them!" " Just-just tell them!" " I'm not buying it, Gibson." " What are you looking for?" " Someone who knows how to hit." "Take him back to the hole." "Take that one back to gen pop." "Unlock these." "I've got work to do." "We've already warned Capitol Police to be on the lookout, but you should be, too." "Hawkins, one of Widener's hit squad is unaccounted for." "You think Hawkins is coming here?" "Widener's about to testify." "If Gibson follows his pattern, then the target is CIA." "Thank you for warning me, Suzie." "I'll see you when you get here." "She'll be here in 15 minutes." "She'll recognize me." "Delay her." "No, if I do anything, she'll know something's wrong." "If we fail, your daughter dies." "Can you hear me?" "You were told not to use this transmitter until you were inside the hearing." "We won't get inside the hearing." "Not without your help." "Agent Dunn cannot get into that hearing room." "Copy that." "Capitol Police dispatch, Zero-18, go ahead." "This is FBI Incident Command, Baker Three Alpha." "Be advised, you have an inbound security threat." "Suspect is a white female, 30, impersonating an FBI agent." "Sending you her photo now." "Ms. Fitch, you've been called." "FBI Agent Dunn." "Which way is the hearing?" "Chairman, this so-called "massacre video" that was released online was not a part of a CIA operation." "Nor do we have any records that the individuals involved have ever worked for our agency." "She got Hawkins in." "We can't even find the records of the victims, which..." "You will abandon the statement your lawyers have prepared for you." "You will say what I tell you to say." "If you obey, I will release Amber immediately." "If you disobey, I will kill Amber." "Tell me you understand." "I understand." "And my sister is unharmed?" "Thank you, Director Widener." "At this time, the committee would like to call" "Porter Pearce CEO Meg Fitch." "Ms. Fitch, you've been called today to answer allegations that your company is linked to that horrible video showing American servicemen shooting innocent civilians." "I welcome the opportunity, Mr. Chairman." "I welcome the opportunity, Mr. Chairman." "Please raise your right hand." "Do you swear that the testimony you give before this Senate committee today will be the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?" "I do." "I understand that you'd like to read an opening statement." "Ms. Fitch?" " Ms. Fitch?" " Meg?" "Mr. Chairman, it was my intention to make a statement and then to assert my Fifth Amendment right against self-incrimination." "But the truth is..." "But the truth is that my company designed and manufactured a drug for a secret CIA program run by Director Widener." "The drug chemically suppresses the user's sense of morality and self-preservation." "Director Widener administered our drug to unsuspecting U.S. Special Forces..." "Director Widener administered our drug to unsuspecting U.S. Special Forces soldiers selected to be a part of a special CIA unit." " Mr. Chairman, I'd like to respond..." " An illegal and unsanctioned unit with a mission to assassinate Americans whom" "Director Widener designated as enemies of the state." "Mr. Chairman!" "That's got to hurt." "Now ask them to show the tape." "Tell them you can shed some light on it." "You will release Agent Dunn immediately and put her on the phone." "Yes, sir." "Sir, this wasn't a misunderstanding." "This was Gibson." " He's got a mole in our system." " We're on that here." "Dunn, there's only one reason he'd delay you." "Hawkins must be here." "This video wasn't recorded in a foreign country." "It was taken in Gaithersburg, Maryland." "This video wasn't recorded in a foreign country." "It was taken in Gaithersburg, Maryland, at the home of human rights activist Stanley Travis." "When Mr. Travis discovered what we were doing and threatened to go to the press..." " You're shot?" " What?" "You got a hole right through you;" "you can't feel that?" "Director Widener sent his death squad to make Mr. Travis and his family disappear." "Director Widener sent his death squad to make Mr. Travis and his family disappear." " We're killing kids?" " No, we're killing everybody." "There was no death squad." "The first time I saw this video is when it appeared on the Internet." "A drug that inhibits morality that we give to soldiers that makes them kill women and children, to kill each other?" "Say nothing, Meg." "Ms. Fitch..." "That was the only time that ever happened." "The only time we killed each other." "The first generation of the drug was unstable." "They smoothed it out after that." "It works real well now." "Get away from my wife." " Sir, exactly who are you?" " Hawkins, Del." "Sergeant First Class." " You're the man in that video." " Yes, sir, I am." "You ordered us to kill innocents." " Is he gonna kill her?" " That is entirely up to Widener." "Why are you afraid of me, sir if there is no death squad?" "If I didn't kill those people, why are you afraid of me?" "Please, just step away from my wife." "You're going to have to order me to do it." "I order you to step away from my wife." "Authenticate it." "Authenticate it, sir." "Authenticating." "Lawn chair." "Griffin." "Broken stick." "Harbor." "Rusty chain." " Smoke." " Authenticated." " What are my orders?" " Stand down." "FBI!" "Hands behind your head!" "On your knees now!" "It's over, Francis." "You got him." "Destroy my notebooks." "Sergeant Hawkins, on your knees now!" "In a surprise development today, the head of the CIA all but admitted to using illegal death squads to assassinate innocent American civilians." "Delman Hawkins, you're under arrest." "I have no more orders." "Del, you killed your father today." " Why did you do that?" " He wanted me to go with him." "Kept calling me "son," said he was going to help me." "And you don't feel anything about that?" "I don't feel anything about any of them... until this wears off." "Agent Dunn, I'd appreciate it if you'd put a bullet in my head." "Let's go." "Come on." "You remember the questions?" "I remember a play my niece was in." "She gave a better performance." "How many agents?" "How many soldiers?" "What's the plan?" "!" "You don't want to talk?" "Fine." "I'll let you sit back and watch." "You're gonna love this next part." "Bring him in." "Mr. Gibson?" "Finley?" "Devore, your parents need to know what happens if they fail." "Set it up!" "Mr. Gibson?" "Finley?" "Whatever you're gonna do to him, do it to me!" "No one cares about you." "Turn the feed on!" "No, no, no!" "Please, you don't have to do this." "Do it to me!" "You hear me?" "!" "We asked a question of the president earlier today." "We're waiting for our answer now." "Look, we have your plane fueled and ready for takeoff." "Turn off the mines, and we'll bring the bus right to your door." "Thing is, if you're complying with our demands, why are you still here?" "The First Lady asked to be patched in on this." "Should I do that?" "Mom, someone, do something, please." "Oh, my God." "Help me, please." "Sir, we can go, but if the place" " is rigged to explode, they'll all die." " I know." "Please, I don't want to die." "We're ready for our pardons, Mr. President." "Dad, please, do-do something!" "I want an answer this second!" "Ten, nine..." " You don't want to do this." " ...eight, seven, six, five..." " I'm sorry." " ...four, three..." " I don't want to die." " two..." "This is what happens when you say no to our demands, Mr. President!" "Kyle... what happened?" "You think I only have one bullet?" "No, please." "There's no sense in shooting him when you don't have an audience." "Please." "Please." "I did what I could." "They're still gonna kill him." " They shot you." " I'm aware of that." "You son of a bitch, they shot you." "You shot him with a real bullet." "Why would I shoot him with a fake one?" " Why would you shoot him at all?" " He told me to." "No, he told you to shoot Kyle." "Then he risked his life" " trying to stop you from shooting Kyle." " I was never gonna shoot Kyle." "But the president said no to the miss... mission." "Saying no ... was the mission." "We force the president to say no, the world knows that means we kill his son." "As soon as they see Gibson take a bullet for him Mr. Gibson..." "all-American hero." " So that's why Finley's really here." " As an eyewitness to the shooting." "We need him to swear it really happened." "That all makes sense except for the part where Gibson dies from a gunshot wound." " We'll be long gone before he bleeds out." " And how exactly do we get out?" "I have good news, Agent Dunn." "We isolated what was in the boy's blood." "He's gonna be fine." "Thank you, Doctor." " They snuck Hawkins into that room." " For Amber." " You had me delayed." " For Amber... and for you." "I didn't know what was gonna happen in that room, Susie." "But if she gets out, I want her to know you." " Answer it." " Dunn." "A hostage was just released." "I'm standing here with Amber Fitch." "She'd very much like to speak to her mother." "Uh..." "It's for you." "Mom?"

"I deliver perfection..." "and don't brag about it!" ":" "D" "I'm having dinner with my dad tomorrow." "Wanna come?" "Sure." "He's kind of sexy." "I'll be there too." "So we'll come up with a signal." "If it's going well, you can take off." "I need your support." "I haven't told him I'm pregnant." "Oh." "Why not?" "He's gonna flip out." "I hate it when he's angry." "This is all so "Papa Don't Preach"." "He's scary." "Once, he caught me smoking." "He said if I did it again, he'd make me eat the pack." "Wow." "Well, I will be there." "I won't let that man make you eat your baby!" "Hey, who is that guy?" "I think I know him." "No, you don't." "Oh, my God!" "Monica, he's the stripper from your bachelorette party!" "Her what?" "Your secret bachelorette party." " Bachelorette party?" " She untied his G-string with her teeth." "Somebody stop me!" "We weren't gonna have parties." "We agreed that it's a silly tradition." "It's a grand tradition!" "They surprised me." "There was nothing I could do." "You could've untied it with your hands." "This is so unfair." "I wanted to throw a bachelor party but I wasn't allowed." "All we got was dinner." "You went home with the waitress." "Yeah, that was a good night." "Why didn't you tell me?" "The two pillars of marriage are openness and honesty." "I knew giving you that book would come back and bite me in the ass." "The One With the Stripper" " I'll order everyone the chicken." " Oh, I don't eat meat." "It's chicken!" " I don't eat that either." " I never understand you lesbians." " So, what's new with you?" " Well, actually..." "Your '74 Lafite, sir." "I ordered the '75." "That's a magnificent wine. '74 is sewage!" "Why would you bring me sewage?" "Are you an idiot?" "Is that why you're a waiter?" "This is why I didn't want to wait on you." "Oh, come on." "Don't be such a baby." "In case you didn't notice, that is a scary man." "He's right, though." "The '74 is absolute piss." "This was a huge mistake." "I can't tell him." "I can't." "Rachel..." "I'm gonna wait a couple of years, and then the baby will tell him." " Why?" "So he can get mad at the baby?" " That's the baby's problem." " Everything okay with the waiter?" " I don't know." "I went to the bathroom." "So, sweetie, you were starting to tell me what's new with you." "I got TiVo." " What's TiVo?" " It's slang for "pregnant"." "Well, what were you thinking, asking me to come?" "Are you pregnant?" "Well, yes and no." "Except, not no." "So to sum it up, yeah." "Who is the father?" "Please don't tell me it's her!" "No, it's Ross." "You like Ross." "I hope you're okay with this." "This is a good thing." "This is your first grandchild!" "You're gonna be a poppy!" "That's true." "I'm a poppy!" "I'm gonna be a poppy!" " So when is the wedding?" " The who?" "The wedding." "There's going to be a wedding." "Young lady, don't you tell me my first grandchild is gonna be a bastard!" " Tell me there's gonna be a wedding!" " February 2nd!" "It was cool seeing you lecture today." "Thanks." "Although it seemed like you were falling asleep." "No, I had my eyes closed so I could concentrate and take it all in." "A lot of my students do that." " I've got to get going." " I'll see you tonight?" "Thanks for showing me your semiprecious stone collection." "It was amazing." "My God, you must be good in bed." "So you and Mona." "It's been a while." "How is it?" "It's going good." "I mean, we get along great." "She's so..." " Hot?" " I was gonna say sweet, but yeah!" "She's okay with the baby?" "I haven't actually told her yet." "I don't wanna scare her off." "You have to be honest, or you may think you're on the same path but you're on different ones." "I'm gonna take that book and beat you to death with it." "You are gonna love me so much." "Good." "So far in this marriage, I just like you a lot." "I felt bad about the bachelorette party so tonight you're gonna have a bachelor party." "I got this number from a guy at work and I hired a stripper for you." "I'm going in the wife hall of fame!" " Honey, I don't want a stripper." " Will you let the lady talk?" "Come on, it'll be fun." "It'll make me feel better." "I got you party hats." "And porn." "Throw in my father making out with the magician and it's just like my 14th birthday." "I appreciate it, but it's a little creepy." "I'm not a bachelor anymore." "Just think of it as a two-month anniversary present." "Sure." "One year is paper, but two months is lap dance." "Please, I feel so bad." "Just watch the hot woman get naked!" " Fine, but I'm only doing this for you." " Yeah!" "And Joey." " Who else do you wanna invite?" " Ross and Joey is embarrassing enough." "I can't make it." "I'm seeing Mona tonight." "Why cancel a real date to go to a fake bachelor party?" "I'm sorry." "I gotta cancel tonight, baby." "I'm sorry I won't make it to your imaginary wedding." "I'm busy that day." "I already have a unicorn baptism and a leprechaun bar mitzvah." "I know." "I panicked." "I didn't want him yelling at me like I was some '74 Latour." "It's Lafite." "The '74 Latour is actually drinking quite nicely." "I'm gonna tell him." "I'm gonna be strong." "I just called a friend." "I think I may be able to book the Plaza on short notice." "Really?" "The Plaza?" "Oh, Daddy!" " Daddy, I need to talk to you." " What is it, sweetie?" "Ross and I aren't getting married." " I'm sorry." " I don't believe this!" " Stay calm, please." " How do you expect me to stay calm?" "This is unacceptable, Rachel." "And I wanna know why!" "Is it because that punk won't marry you?" " Is that it?" " Yes." "He says I'm damaged goods." "You nervous about getting married?" "What are you doing?" "Pretend it's a real bachelor party." "It'll be more fun." "All right." "I can't believe tomorrow's the big day." "You're never gonna be with another woman." "You have to wake up to the same face every day until you finally have the sweet release of death." "You're right." "This is more fun." "That's her!" "Okay, come on!" "Which one of you is Chandler?" "That's me!" "That's me." "Joey Tribbiani." "Big fan." " Is that a bedroom?" " Yeah, right over there." "Whenever you're ready." "That was weird." " Why would she go in the bedroom?" " I'm waiting." " So she's a..." " Yeah, that's one naked hooker." "I love your place." "Where is this guy from?" "That's an 18th-century artifact from Calcutta." "Oh." "Wow." "So you're more than just dinosaurs." "So much more." "Oh, my God!" "I am so sorry!" "Forget it." "It's from Pier 1." "Sorry." "Think you can knock up my daughter and not marry her?" "I ought to kill you!" "This is actually not a great time for me." "So come on." "Explain yourself, Geller." " You got Rachel pregnant!" " You got her pregnant?" " Who did?" " You did!" "Yes, but it was a one-night thing." "It meant nothing." "Oh?" "Really?" "My daughter means nothing?" "No, sir." "She means a lot to me." "I love Rachel." " What?" " But not that way." "I'm not in love." "I love her like a friend." "So you get her in trouble and refuse to marry her?" "I offered to marry her." "But I didn't want to." "Why not?" "You wanted to be with this tramp?" "Tramp?" "I'm sorry." "Dr. Green, Mona." "Mona, Dr. Green." "I can't believe there is a naked hooker in there!" "Maybe she's a hooker and a stripper but she got confused about what to do." "Maybe." "Technically, she stripped." "We just missed it." "Ma'am?" "Are you also a stripper?" "No, but I can pretend to strip." "Costs extra." "Here's the extras:" "Handcuffs, spanking..." "Maybe Monica's playing a joke on you." "Getting her husband a hooker." "That's pretty funny." "That is funny." "Maybe for my birthday she'll murder someone." "I'll bet Ross was in on it." "He was conveniently busy." " You mind if I smoke in here?" " Actually, I'd rather..." "Go ahead." "We're gonna have to burn that room, anyway." " How could you hide this?" " I wanted to tell you, but..." "You'd get what you wanted, then dump her, like Rachel." "Hey, I did not dump Rachel." "Nor are we still together." "Can I...?" "We'll just let the machine get that." "Ross, it's Joey." "There's a hooker here." "We thought you'd know something about it." "No!" "No!" "No!" "No!" "I need to lie down." "Guys, can I talk to you?" "Again, I want you to push the duck special." "If they don't eat the duck, you will, and it's not very good." "Tonight's the bachelor party?" " Thanks for that number." " No problem." "Who's the party for?" " My husband." " You hired your husband a hooker?" " She's a stripper." " No, a hooker." " Is that a name for strippers?" " If they're hookers." "Stu, I can't believe you did this." "You're sure she's a hooker?" "Either that, or she's the best, most expensive date I ever had." " Maybe she meant to get you a hooker." " Why would she do that?" "Maybe she wants you to learn something." "Is there anything you're really bad at, sexually?" "This is the worst bachelor party ever." " What's taking you boys so long?" " In a minute!" "What's gonna happen in a minute?" "You should ask her to leave." " Why me?" " It's your party." " Which is why you should do it." " No, you do it." "Rock, paper, scissors for who tells the whore to leave." " What?" " I miss this." "I don't think we've done this before." "No, I miss hanging out with you." " We still hang out." " Not like we used to." "Remember?" "We used to be inseparable." "You know, now it's like things are different." "Well, you know, things are different." "I'm married now." "Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for you guys." "I just miss hanging out." "Just us, you know?" "Yeah, I miss that too." "From now on, we'll make time to hang out." "You got it." "Come here." "Oh, God." "Listen, I am this close to robbing you guys." "She's a hooker!" "She's a..." "Hi." "We spoke on the phone." "So your dad dropped by." "He's a pleasant man." " Oh, no." " I better go." "Just over here." "I can't miss the fight." "Ross, I am so sorry." "I'll straighten this out tomorrow in person." "Or via e-mail." "I don't care about your dad." "Mona is totally freaked out!" "I'll fix that too." "What's her e-mail?" "I'll fix this." "I swear I'll talk to her." "Okay." "Thank you." "That's it?" "You call that a fight?" ""We were on a break!" "No we weren't!" What happened to you two?" "Thank you so much for coming back over." "Oh, good." "You're here." "And I was worried that it would be uncomfortable." "Mona, just hear me out." "I'm sorry about my father yelling at you." "But you held your own." "You have to tell me how." " Focus." " Okay." "Yes, Ross and I used to date." "And yes, we are gonna have a baby." "But we are definitely not getting back together." " How can I be sure?" " We drove each other crazy." "He was possessive, jealous." "He couldn't let the little things go." "Trying to date this woman." "None of that compared to how kind and gentle and thoughtful he is." "You probably shouldn't touch me." "I don't want something so complicated." "But what relationship is not complicated?" "We all have our baggage." "You must too." "Why else would you still be single?" "I'm so gonna leave right now." "Should I leave this open?" "I'm not sure." "Why didn't you just tell me?" "It has nothing to do with how I feel." " You still should have told me." " I was going to but I thought you should hear it from Rachel's father." "I made a mistake but it's only because I really like you." "Really." "Okay." "I guess you can close the door now." "Forgot my purse." "Oh, you guys made up." "Good kisser, isn't he?" "I'm going!" "I swear I didn't know she was a hooker." "You let her smoke?" "Her ass-print is still on our quilt." "Really want to talk about smoking?" "I'm gonna make this up to you." "I promised a stripper and you're gonna get a stripper." " Monica, wait." " What?" "Carry on." "These tennis shoes are so tight." " I think I'll take them off." " Could you not narrate?" "Gotcha, sailor." "Just because you're not in love..." " You told your dad the truth." " An hour ago." " Wanna go see a movie?" " Yes." "Bye, Dad." "What does love have to do with it?" "There are more important things than love." "Think about the baby." "You have to think about the consequences of your decisions!" "I do think about the consequences of my decisions!" "What gives you the right to...?" "Go to hell!" "Stupid guy on my phone." "Subtitles by SDI Media Group"

"♪♪ [Woman Vocalizing]" "♪♪ [Fades]" " Are you a doctor?" " Yes." "Yes." "He's an actor." "Oh, an actor." "We're very popular with actors." "Have I, uh, seen you in anything?" "Well, let's see." "I did Hamlet a while back." "Didn't I, Liz?" "And then we did The Sandpiper, and then..." "He's joking." "He was in Luther and Nobody Loves An Albatross... and a lot of television plays and commercials." "That's where the money is, isn't it..." "commercials?" "And the artistic thrills too." "Seven, Diego." "Originally the smallest apartment was a nine." "They've been broken up into four, fives, and sixes." "7-E is a four." "Originally the back part of a ten." "It has the original dining room for its living room... another bedroom for the bedroom... and two servants' rooms thrown together... for a dining room or a second bedroom." " Do you have children?" " [Man] Uh..." " [Woman] Uh, we plan to." " [Gate Squeaking]" " ♪♪ [Piano:" "Scales]" " We must oil that gate, Diego." "This way, please." "The previous tenant, Mrs. Gardenia, passed away... just a few days ago, so nothing has been moved yet." "Her son asked me to say that some of the furniture... can be picked up practically for the asking." " Did she die in the apartment?" " [Buzzer Sounds]" " Not that it makes any difference." " Oh, no, no, no." "In a hospital." "She'd been in a coma for weeks." " After you, please." " Thank you." "She was very old and passed away without ever waking." "I'd be grateful to go that way myself when the time comes." "Oh, no, no, no." "Not in the apartment, no." " ♪♪ [Piano: "Für Elise"]" " She was chipper right to the end." "One of the first women lawyers in New York City." "She did a little gardening on the side too." "She was quite a woman." "Oh, closet." "Oh, plenty of closets." "A nice view of the park." "Oh, very nice view." "Now, this room, for instance..." "it would make a lovely nursery." "Yes, yellow-and-white wallpaper would brighten it tremendously." "What are all these things here?" " Herbs, mostly." " A nice, large bathroom..." "Mint, basil..." " No marijuana?" " [Man Clears Throat]" "Come on." "The, uh, master bedroom." "Oh, yes." "Here we are, back at the hallway again." " [Woman] Oh, yes." " There." "Oh!" "Oh, Guy!" " Yeah." " [Gasps]" " Fireplace works, of course." " That's right." "Oh!" "Oh, it's a wonderful apartment!" "I love it!" "See what she's trying to do?" "She's trying to get you to lower the rent." "Yes, well, we'd raise it if we were allowed." "Apartments with this kind of charm..." "Why, that's odd!" "There's a closet behind that secretary." "I'm su..." "I'm sure there is." "Yeah..." "Oh, I think you're right." "She moved it." "It used to be there." "Give me a hand, will you?" "[Grunting, Laughing]" "I see now why she went into a coma!" "She couldn't have lifted it by herself." "She was 89." "Should we open it?" "Maybe her son should." "I'm authorized to show the apartment." "Well!" "Whoever she locked in got out." "Or perhaps she didn't need five closets." "But why would she cover up her vacuum cleaner and her towels?" "Hmm." "I don't suppose we'll ever know." "Maybe she was becoming senile after all." "Is there anything else?" "Yes, please." "What about the laundry facilities?" "It's bigger than the other one." "Yeah." "It's more expensive too, you know?" "It's better located." "Yeah, well, God knows I could walk to all the theaters from here." "Oh, Guy, let's take it." "Please?" "That living room could be..." "Oh, please let's take it." "Okay, darlin'." "We get out of the other lease, okay." "[Man] I was tempted to write the management that you were... drug addicts and litterbugs." "Instead, I decided to lie and tell them you were wonderful tenants." " Ah, you're great, Hutch." " Wish I could talk you out of it, though." " He's pulling your leg, Ro, honey." " Indeed I'm not." "Now, that looks great." "That is..." "Are you aware that the Bramford had rather an unpleasant reputation... around the turn of the century?" "It's where the Trench sisters conducted... their little dietary experiments... and Keith Kennedy held his parties." "Adrian Marcato lived there too." "So did Pearl Ames." " Who were the Trench sisters?" " Who was Adrian Marcato?" "The Trench sisters were two proper Victorian ladies." "They cooked and ate several young children, including a niece." " Oh, lovely." " Adrian Marcato practiced witchcraft." "He made quite a splash in the '90s by announcing... that he'd conjured up the living devil." "Apparently people believed him, so they attacked... and nearly killed him in the lobby of the Bramford." " You're joking." " Later the Keith Kennedy business began... and by the '20s, the house was half empty." "I knew about Keith Kennedy." "I didn't know that Marcato lived there." " [Ro] And those sisters." " World War I I filled the house up again." " [Ro] Terrific." " [Guy] What, the house?" " The lamb." " They called it "Black Bramford."" "But Hutch, awful things happen in every apartment house." "But this house has a high incidence of unpleasant happenings." "In '59, a dead infant was found... wrapped in newspaper in the basement." "Mmm." "You really rouse my appetite." "Have some more wine." "[Woman] Roman?" "Bring me in some root beer when you come." "[Guy Chuckling]" "Hey, these are shelves." "Hey, let's make love." " [Creaking]" " Shh!" "I think I hear the Trench sisters chewing." "Oh!" "[Ro] Straight up to the left." "[Man On TV] Here at Daytona, Florida, it's the 250 cc 100-Mile Classic... with Yamaha leading the pack on the final lap and winning it... as Yamaha takes seven of the top ten places." "It's the third straight year for Yamaha..." "a clean sweep." "[Man On TV] Yamaha is race-bred from champions." "And as you can see, we have a model for every kind of riding." "[Chuckles] You know, you really should discover the swingin' world of Yamaha." "Why don't you get on, have a ride?" "Go on." "Okay." "Come on." "Let's go." "Look." "It's great." "[Chuckles] I'm sorry." "I thought you were Victoria Vetri, the actress." "I'm sorry." "It's all right." "A lot of people think I'm Victoria." " I don't see any resemblance." " Do you know her?" "No." "My name is Terry Gionoffrio." "Nice to meet you." "I'm Rosemary Woodhouse." "Uh, we're new tenants here." "I'm staying with the Castevets, the seventh floor." "I'm their guest, sort of, since June." "Our apartment used to be the back part of yours." "Oh, for goodness' sakes." "You took the old lady's apartment, Mrs... ." "Yeah, um, Miss..." "Gar-Gardenia." "Gardenia." "Yeah." "She was a good friend of the Castevets." "She used to grow herbs and things for her to cook with." " I saw those plants." " Well, now she grows her own things." " [Buzzer Sounds]" " Excuse me a moment." "I have to put the softener in." " What does your husband do?" " He's an actor." " No kidding?" "What's his name?" " Guy Woodhouse." "He was in Luther and Nobody Loves An Albatross... and he does a lot of television and radio." "Gee, I watch TV all day long." "I'll bet I've seen him." "[Glass Shatters]" " Wow!" " Ooh!" " I hate this basement." " Yeah, me too." "Gives me the creeps." "Listen, why don't we come down here together regular and do our laundry?" "Okay, that'd be great." "I have a good-luck charm." "It might work for both of us." " Oh, that's beautiful." " Yeah, isn't it?" " Mm-hmm!" " Mrs. Castevet gave it to me." "It's good luck." "Or anyway, it's supposed to be." "It's got some stuff inside." "I'm not mad about the smell either." "I hope it works." "It's a beautiful charm, though." "I've never seen anything like it." "European." "The Castevets are the most wonderful people in the world, bar none." "They picked me up off the sidewalk, literally." "You were sick?" "I was starving and on dope and doing a lot of other things." "They're childless, though." "I'm like the daughter they never had." "At first I thought they wanted me for some kind of a sex thing... but they've turned out to be like real grandparents." "It's nice to know there are people like that... when you hear so much about apathy... and people who are afraid of getting involved." "I'd be dead now if it wasn't for them." "That's an absolute fact." "Dead or in jail." "You don't have any family that could've helped you?" "[Scoffs] A brother in the navy." "[Woman] Why, it's impossible to be a hundred percent sure." "If you want my opinion, we shouldn't tell her at all." " That's my opinion!" " That must be the partition." "It's the back part of the original ten with a dining room." "And there's..." "there's a closet over here... and then there's a closet over here." "[Ritualistic Chanting]" "♪♪ [Recorder]" "[Chanting Continues]" "♪♪ [Recorder Continues]" " [People Clamoring] - [Horns Honking]" " [Woman] What floor?" " [Man] Seven." "[Man] Stay back, will ya, lady?" "[Woman Talking Over Police Radio, Indistinct]" "Get back, now, will you, please?" "Get back." "There's nothin' to see." " [Guy] Oh, my God!" " Get back, will you, please?" "Jesus!" " Get back!" " We know her." " What's her name?" " Terry." "Terry what?" "Ro?" "What was her name again?" "Terry what?" "Uh, I don't remember." "An Italian name." "She was staying with some people named Castevet." "7-A." "Yeah, we got that already." "Short and sweet." "She stuck it to the windowsill with a Band-Aid." " Theresa Gionoffrio." " [Policeman] Move on!" "Move on!" " You knew her?" " Only slightly." " Come on, Ro." "Let's go." " Oh!" "Here they come." "You folks the Castevets on the seventh floor?" "We are." "You have a young woman named Theresa Gionoffrio living with you?" "We do." "What's wrong?" "Has there been an accident?" "You'd better brace yourself for some bad news." "She's dead." "Jumped out of the window." "That's not possible." "That's a mistake." "Artie, want to let these folks take a look, please?" "I knew this would happen." "She got deeply depressed every three weeks or so." "I told my wife about it, but she pooh-poohed me." "Well, I..." "It doesn't mean she killed herself." "She was a very happy girl with no reason for self-destruction." "She... must've been cleanin' the windows or something." " She wasn't cleaning windows at midnight." " Why not?" "Maybe she was." "Is that her handwriting?" " Yeah." " Definitely." "Absolutely." "Thank you." "I'll see this gets back to you when we're done with it." "I don't believe it." "I just don't believe it." " She was so happy." " Who's the next of kin?" "Ah, she was all alone." "She didn't have anybody." "Only us." " [Rosemary] Didn't she have a brother?" " Did she?" "She said she did... in the navy." " [Mrs. Castevet] It's news to me." " [Policeman] Do you know where he's stationed?" "No, I don't." "She mentioned him to me in the laundry room." " I'm Rosemary Woodhouse." " Uh, we're in 7-E." "I feel just the way you do, Mrs. Castevet." "She seemed so happy and full of..." "She said wonderful things about you and your husband, how grateful she was." "Thank you." "Know anything else about this brother except he's in the navy?" " No, I don't." " It should be easy to find him." " I'm so stunned and so sorry." " Yeah, it's such a pity." "Well, thank you." "[Siren Wailing]" "[Mrs. Castevet's Voice] Sometimes I wonder how come you're the leader of anything!" "Please don't tell me what Laura-Louise said... because I'm not interested!" "If you'd listened to me, we wouldn't have had to do this!" " We'd have been all set to go now instead of havin' to start all over from scratch!" " Shh!" "I told you not to tell her in advance!" "I told you she wouldn't be open-minded!" "I told Sister Veronica about the windows... and she withdrew the school from the competition." "Otherwise..." "[Door Buzzer Sounds]" "Hello." "How are you?" " Fine." "May I come in a minute?" " Yes, of course." "Please do." "I just come over to thank you for saying those nice things the other night." " Oh, no, please..." " Poor Terry." "We thought maybe we failed her some way... though her note made it crystal clear we hadn't." "You'll never know how helpful it was in such a shock moment." "So I do thank you." "Roman does too." "Roman's my hubby." "You're welcome." "I'm glad I could help." "Yeah." "Well, she was cremated yesterday." "Now we gotta forget and go on." "It won't be easy." "We don't have children of our own." "You have any?" " No, we don't." " No?" "Well, there you..." "Oh!" "That's a nice..." "Look how you put the table!" "Isn't that interesting?" " I saw it in a magazine." " Oh, my." "Nice paint job." "Oh." "Oh." "Oh, that's nice." "What is that?" "That's the TV room?" "Well, only temporarily." "It's going to be a nursery." " Oh, you pregnant?" " No, not yet." " I hope to be as soon as we're settled." " Wonderful." "Well, you're young and healthy." "You ought to have lots of children." "We plan to have three." "Dying to see what you did to this apartment." "The woman who had it before was a dear friend of mine." " I know." "Terry told me." " Oh, did she?" " You two had some long talks together in the laundry room, huh?" " Only one." "[Exclaims] Oh, my goodness!" "Ah, it looks so much brighter." "What do you pay for a chair like that?" "Uh..." "Oh, I'm not sure, really." "I think about $200." "What does your hubby do?" " ♪♪ [Piano: "Für Elise"]" " He's an actor." "I knew it!" "I said it to Roman yesterday." "He's so good-Iookin'." "What movies was he in?" "No movies." "He was in two plays... called Luther and Nobody Loves An Albatross... and a lot of television and radio." "Listen, Rosemary, I got a two-inch-thick sirloin steak... sittin' defrostin' this minute." "Why don't you and Guy come over and have supper with us tonight?" "What do you say?" " Oh, no, we couldn't." " Why not?" " No." "Really, that's very kind of you, but..." " It would be a real help to us." "[Sighs] First night we'll be alone since..." "Are you sure it wouldn't be too much trouble for you?" "Honey, if it was trouble, I wouldn't ask you." "All right." "You go ahead and count on us." "I'll have to check with Guy, though." "Listen, you tell him I won't take no for an answer." "Oh, here's your mail." "Nah, ads." "Thank you." "[Door Shuts]" "Yoo-hoo!" "Donald Baumgart got that part." "It's a bad play anyway." "Even if it folds out of town, it's the kind of part that gets noticed." "Mrs. Castevet was here... to thank me for what I said about Terry." "She is the nosiest person I've ever seen." "You know she actually asked the prices of things?" " No kidding." " Mm." "She invited us to have dinner with them tonight." "I told her I'd have to check with you but that it'd probably be okay." "Oh, Jesus." "We don't have to do that, do we, honey?" "I think they're lonely." "We get friendly with an old couple like that, we'll never get rid of them." "They're right across the wall." "I told her she could count on us." " You don't have to sulk about it." " I'm not sulking." "I see exactly what you mean." " Hell, we'll go." " No, no." "What for?" " We'll go!" " No, we don't have to if you don't want to." "That sounds so phony, but I really mean it." "Really, I do." "Be my good deed for today." "Okay, but only if you want to." "And we'll make it clear it's just for this one night... and not the beginning of anything, right?" "Ah, perfect timing!" "Come on in." "Roman's fixing some vodka blushes." "My, I'm glad you could come, Guy." "I'm fixin' to tell everybody that I knew you when." "Look, dinner isn't ready just yet, but sit down there anywhere, love." "Take a seat on the couch." "You're gonna find yourself very..." "I seem to have overfilled the glasses." "No, no, no." "Don't get up." "Generally I pour these out precisely as a bartender." "Don't I, Minnie?" " Just watch the carpet." " But this evening I made a little too much..." "Ah, there we are." "No, no, no." "Sit down, please." " Now, Mrs. Woodhouse." " Thank you." "Mr. Woodhouse, uh, vodka blush?" " Yes, thanks." " Have you ever tasted one?" " No, no, I haven't." " It looks delicious." "Minnie." "They're very popular in Australia." "Now, to our guests." "Welcome to our home." " Hear, hear." " Cheers." " [Liquid Splattering] - [Coughing]" "The carpet!" " [Roman] Oh, dear." " Brand-new carpet." "This man's so clumsy!" " Do you come from Australia?" " Oh, no, no." "I'm from right here in New York City." "I've been there, though." "I've been everywhere, literally." "You name a place, and I've been there." " Go ahead." "Name a place." " [Guy] Fairbanks, Alaska." "I've been there." "Been all over Alaska." "Yes, Fairbanks, Juneau, Anchorage..." "Nome, Sitka, Seward." " I spent four months there in '38." " Where are you folks from?" " Well..." " Well, I..." "I'm from Omaha." "Guy's from Baltimore." "Omaha's a good city." "Baltimore is too." " Do you travel for business?" " Well, business and pleasure both." "I'm 79, and I've been going one place or another since I was ten." " You name a place, I've been there." " [Bell Dings]" "Ah!" "Steak's ready." "Don't rush your drinks, now." "Roman, take your pill." "[Roman] No pope ever visits a city where the newspapers are on strike." "I heard he's gonna postpone and wait till it's over." " [Guy] Well, that's showbiz." " [Guy, Adrian, Minnie Laughing]" "That's exactly what it is." "All the costumes, the rituals..." "all religions." "Oh, oh, I think we're offending' Rosemary." " No." "No." " You're not religious, my dear, are you?" "Well, I-I was brought up a Catholic." "Now I don't know." " Yeah." "You looked uncomfortable." " Well, he is the pope." "Well, now, you don't need to have respect for him... because he pretends that he's holy." "[Guy] Now, that's a good point." "When I think what they spend on robes and jewels!" "A good picture of the hypocrisy behind organized religion... was given, I thought, in Luther." "Did you ever get to play that leading part, Guy?" "Me?" "No." "Well, weren't you Albert Finney's understudy?" " No." " Well, that's strange." "I remember being struck by a gesture you made... and checking in the program to see who you were." " Thank you." " Um, what gesture was that?" "Well, I'm not sure now." "It was a reaction, uh..." "I did a thing with my arms when Luther was having a fit." " It was a kind of involuntary reaching." " That's it." "That's it." " It had a wonderful authenticity to it." " [Guy Chuckles] Come on, now." "No, no." "I mean it." "My father was a theatrical producer... and my early years were spent in the company... of Mrs. Fiske, Forbes-Robertson, Modjeska." " Guy?" " Oh, yes, please." "You have a most interesting inner quality, Guy." "It appears in your television work too." "It should take you a long way indeed... provided, of course, that you get those initial breaks." "Are you preparing for a show now?" "Um, well, I'm up for a couple parts." " Well, I can't believe that you won't get them." " Well, I can." "I'd like to have a spice garden someday." "I guess I'm a country girl at heart." " You come from a big family?" " Mm-hmm." "Three brothers and two sisters." " Your sisters married?" " Mm-hmm." " They have children?" " One has two." "The other has four." "Well, there's a chance you'll have lots of children too." "Oh, we're fertile, all right." "I've got 16 nieces and nephews." "My goodness!" "Would you like me to wash, and you can wipe for a while?" "Oh, no." "This is fine, dear." "Now, Roman, will you stop bending Guy's ears with your Modjeska stories?" "He's only listening 'cause he's polite." "No, no, no, no." "It's very interesting, Mrs. Castevet." " You see?" " Minnie." "I'm Minnie, he's Roman." "Okay?" " Okay?" " [Rosemary] Okay." "Okay." "Terrific." "Just terrific." " Good-bye, darlin'." "Good-bye." " Thank you for having us." " Yeah, it was lovely." "Bless you." " Minnie!" "Minnie!" "Ya great kid, ya!" "Whoo!" "About that steak, huh?" "Oh, my God!" "And the cake!" "How did you eat two pieces?" " It was weird!" " Out of politeness." "That's how I ate two pieces..." "out of politeness." "[Rosemary Laughing]" " Only three dinner plates that match..." " Shh!" "And all that beautiful, beautiful silver." " We'll be nice." "Maybe they'll will it to us." " Oh!" "Yeah." " Guess what they have in their bathroom." " A bidet." " Jokes for the John." " No." "A book on a hook, right next to the toilet." "Roman's stories are pretty damned interesting, though." "Never even heard of Forbes-Robertson before." "I'm gonna go over there again tomorrow night and hear some more." " You are?" " Yeah." "He asked me." "Here, do this damn thing for me, will you?" "I thought we were gonna do something with Joan and Dick Jellico." " Was that definite?" " Well, it wasn't definite." "We'll see them next week." "You don't have to come along if you don't want to, you know." "You can stay here." "I think I will stay here." "He knew Henry Irving too." "I mean, really interesting, huh?" "Why did they take their pictures down?" " What do you mean?" " Their pictures... they took them down." "There are hooks in the wall and clean spaces... and the one picture that is there doesn't fit." "I didn't notice that." "♪♪ [Slow Jazz]" "[Door Buzzer Sounds]" "Hi, dear." "We're not botherin' ya, are we?" "This is my dear friend Laura-Louise McBurney." "Lives up on 12." "Laura-Louise, this is Guy's wife, Rosemary." "Hello, Rosemary." "Welcome to the Bram." "Laura-Louise just met Guy." "She wanted to meet you too." " Could we come in?" " Uh, of... of course." "Please do." "Well, there you are." "Go ahead." "Look at the..." "[Indistinct]" "Oh!" "Gosh!" "Isn't that beautiful?" " It came this morning." " Are you all right, dear?" "You look worn." "Oh, no." "I'm fine." "It's the first day of my period." "And you're up and around?" "On my first day..." "I experienced such pain, I couldn't move, eat, or anything." "Dan used to give me gin through a straw to kill the pain." "Girls today take things much more in their stride." " They're much healthier than we were..." " ♪♪ [Off]" "Thanks to vitamins, better medical care..." "What are those things over there?" "Seat covers?" "Um, cushions for the window seats." "Oh, yeah." "[Gasps] Oh, before I forget... this is for you, from Roman and me." "For me?" "It's just a little present, is all." "For moving' in." " There's no reason..." " It's real old." "It's over 300 years." "It's lovely." "Yeah." "The green inside is called tannis root." "That's for good luck." "It's lovely, but I can't accept it." " You already have." "Put it on." " Yeah." "[Chuckles] You'll get used to the smell before you know it." "Yeah, go on." "[Minnie] Ah, yeah." "Were his stories as interesting as last night?" "Yes." "Did you have a good time?" "All right." "I got a present." " It was Terry's." " No kidding." "Kind of pretty, though." " Aren't you gonna wear it?" " Mm-mm." "It smells." "There's stuff in it called tannis root from her greenhouse." "[Chuckles] Not too bad, though." " Tannis, anyone?" " Well, if you took it... you ought to wear it." "[Chuckles]" "[Phone Ringing]" "Hello?" "Yes." "This is he." "Oh." "God, no." " Oh, the poor guy." " [Man On Phone, Indistinct]" "And, uh, they don't have any idea what's causing it?" " No, not yet." " My God, that's awful." "That's just awful." "We'd like to know if you'd be interested..." "[Indistinct]" "Yes, I would." "I mean, yes, I am." "[Chuckles] I hate to get it that way, but..." "Well, you'd have to speak to my agent about that end of it." "Allan Stone." "I'm sure there won't be any problem, Mr. Weiss, not as far as we're concerned." "Thank you, Mr. Weiss." "Guy?" "What is it?" "Donald Baumgart... he's gone blind." "He woke up yesterday, and he can't see." " Oh, no." " Oh, I've got the part." "Well, it's a hell of a way to get it." "Listen, uh, I have to get out and walk around." "Yeah, I understand." "Go ahead." "Baumgart." "Donald Baumgart." "[Rosemary] It's a fascinating part." "He'll really be noticed this time." "He also has an offer for a lead in a television series:" "Miami Beach." "He's suddenly very hot." "Mm, now I understand why you're so overjoyed." "Well, it's a difficult period in his life." "A challenge." "I see." "You know how actors are." "They're all a bit self-centered." "I'll bet even Laurence Olivier is vain and self-centered." "It's a difficult part." "He's got to work with crutches... and naturally he's preoccupied... and he... well, preoccupied." "[Voice Quavering]" "I say, you had another suicide up there at Happy House." " Oh, didn't I tell you?" " No, you didn't." "It was that girl I told you about:" "The drug addict... who was rehabilitated by this old couple, the Castevets." "I'm sure I told you that." "[Chuckling] They didn't rehabilitate her very successfully, it seems." "[Door Shuts]" "I've been a creep." "It's from worrying if Baumgart would regain his sight, rat that I am." "Well, it's natural." "You're bound to feel two ways about it." "Even if I'm Mr. Yamaha for the rest of my days..." "I'm gonna stop giving you the short end of the stick." " You haven't been." " Yes, I have." "I've been tearing my hair out over my career." "Let's have a baby, all right?" "Let's have three babies, one at a time, all right?" "A baby." "You know..." ""Mama, Dada, poo-poo." You know?" " You mean it?" " Sure, I mean it." "Sure, I mean it." "I even figured out the right time to start." "Look." "You really mean it?" "Really?" "No, I'm kidding." "Sure, I mean it." "Oh, Ro, honey, for God sakes, don't cry, all right?" " Oh, no." "I won't." " [Chuckling]" " ♪♪ [Slow Jazz]" " Here goes nothin'." "Mm, mm, mm!" "The paint!" "The paint!" "Good grief." "Nobody, but nobody, has a fire tonight." "Isn't it gorgeous?" "I hope we have the coldest winter ever." "[Door Buzzer Sounds]" "Aw, shit!" " [Minnie] Hi, Guy." "How are ya?" " Oh, hello." "No." "Don't let her in." "Not tonight." "[Minnie, Guy Talking, Indistinct]" "Oh, you sure you don't want to come in?" "[Minnie] No." "[Indistinct]" "[Door Shuts, Lock Clicks]" "Good." "Who says there's nothing to ESP?" "[French Accent] Madame et Monsieur shall have ze dessert after all!" "Mousse au chocolat..." "or as Minnie calls it..." ""chocolate mouse."" "I was afraid she'd stay all evening." "Oh, she just wanted us to try it." "[Imitating Minnie] Seein' it's one of her speci-al-ities." "It was sweet of her, really." "We shouldn't make fun of her." "Yeah you're right." "You're right." "Mm-hmm." "Mmm." "It's good." "♪♪ [Ends]" "Has an under-taste." "A chalky under-taste." "I don't get it." "That's silly, honey." "There is no under-taste." "There is." "Come on." "The old bat slaved all day." "Now eat it." " I don't like it." " It's delicious." "Here." "You can have mine." "All right." "Don't eat it." "There's always something wrong." "Oh, if it's gonna turn into a big thing..." "If you really can't stand it, just don't eat it." "Mmm." "It's delicious." "No under-taste at all." "Would you turn the record over, please?" "[Silverware Clatters]" "♪♪ [Resumes]" "There, Daddy." "Do I get a gold star?" "You get two of them." " I'm sorry if I was stuffy." " You were." "[Man On TV]... is making a full circle of the park..." " It's the pope at Yankee Stadium!" " Walking to his specially built canopy at second base." " Christ, what a mob!" "[Man On TV] Listen to that crowd roar." "Everywhere the pope has been today he has received this type of reception." "As one nun put it this afternoon..." ""Perhaps we are being undignified, but this is a special day."" "And a special day it has been." "That's a great spot for my Yamaha commercial." "We'd like to give you a brief summary of today's historic happenings." " Pope Paul VI arrived at 9:27 a.m. This morning..." " [TV Fades]" "[Guy] What is it?" "Dizzy." " Hey." " [Forced Chuckle]" "No wonder." "You had all that booze in you." "Probably didn't eat anything all day before dinner, huh?" "Hey." "[Rosemary] Nice." "Sleep is what you need." "A good night's sleep." "We have to make a baby." "Oh, well... we'll-we'll do it." "Tomorrow." "There's plenty of time, hmm?" "Just a nap." "[Clock Ticking]" "[No Audible Dialogue]" "Why are you taking them off?" "To make you more comfortable." "I am more comfortable." "Sleep, Ro." "[Wind Gusting]" "[Ticking Continues]" "[Rosemary] Isn't Hutch coming with us?" "Catholics only." "I wish we weren't bound by these prejudices... but unfortunately..." "[Guy] Easy, easy." "You've got her too high." "Typhoon!" "Typhoon!" "It killed 55 people in London..." "You'd better go down below, miss." "[Chanting In Foreign Language]" " She's awake." "She sees." " She don't see." "As long as she ate the "mouse," she can't see nor hear." "She's like dead." "Now sing." "[Chanting]" "[Chanting Fades]" "[Woman] I'm sorry to hear you aren't feeling well." "It's only the mouse bite." "You'd better have your legs tied down... in case of convulsions." "Yes, I suppose so." "There's always a chance it was rabid." "If the music bothers you, let me know... and I'll have it stopped." "Oh, no, no, no, no." "Please don't change the program on my account." "[Woman] Try to sleep." "We'll be waiting up on deck." "This is no dream!" "This is really happening!" "They tell me you have been bitten by a mouse." "Yes." "That's why I couldn't come to see you." "Oh, that's all right." "We wouldn't want you to jeopardize your health." "Am I forgiven, Father?" "Oh, absolutely." "Hey, it's after 9:00." "[Moans] Five minutes." "I have to be at Allan's at 10:00." " Eat out." " The hell I will!" "What time is it?" "It's, uh, ten after 9:00." "What time did I go to sleep?" "You didn't go to sleep." "You passed out." "Uh, from now on you get... cocktails or wine, not cocktails and wine, huh?" "The dreams I had!" "Don't yell." "I already filed 'em down." "I didn't want to miss baby night." " You..." "While I was out?" " And a couple of my nails were ragged... and it was kind of fun in a necrophile sort of way." " [Brushing Teeth]" " I dreamed someone was raping me." "I don't know." "Someone inhuman." "Thanks a lot!" " What's the matter?" " Nothing." "I didn't want to miss the night." "We could've done it this morning or tonight." "Last night wasn't the only split second." "Well, I was a little bit loaded myself, you know." "[Horns Honking]" " Oh, hello there." "Did you like it?" " Oh, yes." "I think I put a little too much crème de cacao in it." "No, no." "It was delicious." "You'll have to give me the recipe." "Yeah, I'd love to." "Listen, you goin' shoppin'?" "Do me a little teeny favor, will ya?" "Get me six eggs, a small Instant Sanka." " I'm gonna pay you later, huh?" " All right." "Bye-bye." "Don't you think we ought to talk about it?" "About what?" "The way you haven't been looking at me." "What are you talking about?" "I've been looking at you." " You haven't." " Why, sure I have." "Now, what is it?" "What's the matter?" "Nothing." "Never mind." "No, no." "Don't say that." "What is it?" "Nothing." "Look, honey, I know I've been preoccupied... with the part and all, but it is important." "That doesn't mean I don't love you." "♪♪ [Piano: "Für Elise"]" "It was due on Friday." " It was?" " Mm-hmm." " It'll probably come tonight or tomorrow." " Wanna bet?" " Yeah." " A quarter." " Okay." " You're gonna lose." "Shut up, will ya?" "You're getting me all jumpy." "It's only been two days." "When will I know?" "I'll call you just as soon as I get the results." "I like to do a general examination just to know something more." "It was Elise Dunstan who recommended you to me, Doctor." " Oh, yes." "How is she?" " She's fine." "And the boys are great." "Did you deliver all of them?" "No, just the last." "Universal hemoglobin." "Yes, Doctor." "[Water Running]" " We went to see The Fantasticks." " Oh, did you?" " Mm." " Did you enjoy it?" " Yeah." " Good." "[Ringing]" " Hello?" " [Doctor] Mrs. Woodhouse?" " Dr. Hill?" " Congratulations." " Really?" " Really." "Are you there?" "Uh, yes." "Um, what happens now?" "Very little." "You come see me next month... and you get those Natalin pills..." "one a day." " I'll mail you forms for the hospital." " Uh, when will it be?" "Uh, it works out to be June 28." " That sounds so far away." " It is." " Yeah." " Oh, one more thing, Mrs. Woodhouse." " We'd like another blood sample." " Oh, yes, of course." " What for?" " Uh, the nurse didn't take enough." " So would you drop by and see her?" " But I-I am pregnant, aren't I?" "Oh, yes." "It's just for blood sugar and so forth." "Nothing to be concerned about." "You're pregnant." "Don't worry." "All right." "Well, I'll come in on Monday." " All right." "Now, don't forget the pills." " No, I won't." " Good-bye, Mrs. Woodhouse." " Good-bye, Dr. Hill." "Blood sugar?" "What's that?" "Oh!" "That's great!" "That's just great!" " Father." " Ah, Mother." " [Whistles]" " Guy..." "Guy, listen." "Let's, uh, make this a new beginning, okay?" "A new openness and talking to each other... because we haven't been open." "It's true." "I've been so goddamned self-centered." "That's what the whole trouble is." "And you know I love you, don't you, Ro?" "I do." " I swear to God I'm gonna be as open..." " It's my fault as much as yours." "No, bull!" "It's mine." "Now, you bear with me... and I'm gonna try and do better, you hear?" "Oh, Guy!" "[Chuckling]" "What?" "Fine way for parents to be carrying on." "Hey, you know what I'd love to do?" " What?" " Tell Minnie and Roman." "Oh, I know, I know." "It's, uh... it's, uh, supposed to be a deep, dark secret... but I've already told them that we were trying." "They were so pleased." "Tell them." " Back in two minutes?" " Mm-hmm." "You're pregnant." "Another blood sample." " ♪ Ta-da ♪" " Now, that's what I call good news!" "Ah, honey, congratulations!" " Thank you." " Our best wishes, Rosemary." " Thank you very much." " We are more pleased than we can say." "We didn't have any champagne on hand, but this will do just as nicely." " When are you due, dear?" " June 28." "Oh, it's gonna be so exciting." "Listen, dear, you got a good doctor?" "Oh, yes, a very good one." "One of the top obstetricians is a dear friend of ours." "Abe Sapirstein." "Delivers all the society babies." "Abe Sapirstein?" "One of the finest obstetricians in the country." "Wasn't he on Open End a couple of years ago?" "That's right." " Ro?" " Uh..." " Well, what about Dr. Hill?" " Don't worry about Hill." "I'll tell him something." "You know me." "Listen, I won't let you go to no Dr. Hill nobody ever heard of." "The best is what you're gonna have, young lady." " Where's your telephone, huh?" " It's in the bedroom." "He's a brilliant man." "Very sensitive." " Ro, sit down, sit down!" " No, I'm fine." "Abe?" "Minnie." "Fine." "Listen, Abe, a dear friend of ours just found out today she's pregnant." "Yeah, isn't it?" "I'm in her apartment right now." "We told her you'd be glad to take care of her." "You wouldn't charge her none of your fancy society prices, neither." "Uh-huh." "Just wait a minute." "Rosemary, tomorrow morning at 11:00?" " All right." " Yeah, 11:00's fine, Abe." "Uh-huh." "Yeah, well, you too." "No." "No, no, no." "Not at all." "All right." "Well, let's hope so." "Good-bye." " Well, there you are." " Hey, thanks a million, Minnie." "Yes, I don't know how to thank you, both of you." "Just have a fine, healthy baby, that's all." "[Gasps] My, I can't wait to tell Laura-Louise." "Oh, uh... please don't tell anyone else, not right away." "No, she's right." "There's plenty of time." "Now, to a fine, healthy baby." " Hear, hear!" " Hear!" "Andy?" "Or Susan?" "Susan!" "[Women Chattering]" "[Minnie Laughing]" "[Siren Wailing]" "[Mumbling]" "Please don't read books." "No pregnancy was ever exactly like the ones described in the books." "And don't listen to your friends either." "No two pregnancies are ever alike." " Dr. Hill prescribed vitamin pills." " No pills." "Minnie Castevet has a herbarium." "I'm gonna have her make a daily drink for you that'll be fresher, safer... and more vitamin-rich than any pills on the market." "Any questions you have, call me night or day." "Call me, not your Aunt Fanny." "That's what I'm here for." " Here." " What's in it?" "Snips and snails and puppy dogs' tails." "That's fine, but what if we want a girl?" "Do you?" " It'd be nice if the first one were a boy." " Well, there you are." " No, really, what is in it?" " A raw egg, gelatin, herbs..." "Tannis root?" "Some of that, along with some other things." "Don't be so violent, Harry." "If you want to be stupid, be nonviolent stupid." "I'm in love with no one, especially not your fat wife." "I'm a hopeless cripple..." "What's that?" "I've been to Vidal Sassoon." "Don't tell me you paid for that." "Guy, I have a pain." " Where?" " In here." " Just now?" " Since Monday." "A sharp pain." " Did you see Sapirstein?" " I'm seeing him on Wednesday." "This is ridiculous!" "Why didn't you see Sapirstein?" " I mean, why didn't you say anything?" " I see him Wednesday, regular." "An entirely natural expansion of the pelvis." "You can fight it with ordinary aspirin." "I was afraid it might be an ectopic pregnancy." ""Ectopic"?" "I thought you weren't gonna read books, Rosemary." " It was staring at me in the drugstore." " And all it did was worry you." "Will you go home and throw it away, please?" " I will." "I promise." " The pains will be gone in two days." "Ectopic pregnancy!" "I look awful." "What are you talking about?" "You look great." "It's that haircut that looks awful." "If you want the truth, honey, that's the worst mistake you ever made." "My God!" "It's Vidal Sassoon." "It's very "in."" "What's wrong with you?" " Do I look that bad?" " Terrible!" "You're not on one of those Zen diets, are you?" " No." " Then what is it?" "Have you seen a doctor?" "Hutch, I might as well tell you." "I'm pregnant." "Oh, rubbish!" "Pregnant women gain weight, they don't lose it." "I don't sleep well." "I have stiff joints or something, so I get a pain." "Nothing serious." "Well, congratulations." "You must be very happy." "Oh, I am." "We both are." " Who's your obstetrician?" " Abraham Sapirstein." "Oh!" "He delivered two of my daughter's babies." " He's one of the best in the city." " When did you see him last?" " Um, yesterday." " And?" "And he says it's fairly common." "How much weight have you lost?" "About, uh, three pounds." "Oh, nonsense." "You've lost far more than that." "It's perfectly normal to lose a little at first." "Later on I'll be gaining." "Well... we must assume Dr. Sapirstein knows whereof he speaks." "He should." "He charges enough." "We're getting bargain rates." "Our neighbors are close friends of his." " [Door Buzzer Sounds]" " I'll go." "No, no." "Stay where you are." "Hurts less when I move around." "Oh, I was just talking about you." "Favorably, I hope." "Do you need anything from outside?" " No." "Thank you for asking." " Is Guy home already?" " No, he won't be home till 6:00." " Oh." "A friend of ours is here." "Would you..." "Would you like to meet him?" " Well, if I won't be intruding." " No, no." "Please come in." "Hutch, this is Roman Castevet." " Edward Hutchins." " How do you do?" " How are you, sir?" " I was just telling Hutch... it was you and Minnie who sent me to Dr. Sapirstein." "So Rosemary has told you the good news?" " Yes, she has." " We must see she gets plenty of rest." "I was a bit alarmed by her appearance." "Well, she has lost some weight, but that's quite normal for the early months." "Later on, she'll gain..." "probably far too much." " So I gather." " Please sit down." "Mrs. Castevet makes a vitamin drink for me every day from fresh herbs she grows." "Yes, all according to Dr. Sapirstein's directions, of course." "He's inclined to be suspicious of commercially prepared vitamin pills." "Is he indeed?" "Why, surely they're manufactured... under every imaginable safeguard." "That's quite true, but commercial pills... can sit for months on a druggist's shelf... and lose a great deal of their original potency." " I hadn't thought of that." " I like the idea of having everything fresh and natural." "I'll bet expectant mothers chewed bits of tannis root... when nobody'd even heard of vitamin pills." " Tannis root?" " It's one of the herbs she puts in the drink." "Or is it an herb?" "Can a root be an herb?" "You sure you don't mean anise or orris root?" " No, tannis." " Hmm." "Look." "It's good luck too." "[Exclaims]" "It doesn't look like root matter." "More like mold or fungus of some kind." " Is it ever called by any other name?" " Not to my knowledge, no." "Hmm." ""Tannis"..." "I must look it up in the encyclopedia." "What a pretty holder or charm or whatever it is." "The Castevets gave it to me." "You and your wife seem to be taking better care of Rosemary than her own parents." "We're very fond of her, and of Guy too." "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll have to go." " My wife is waiting for me." " It's a pleasure to have met you." "Don't bother, Rosemary." "We'll meet again, I'm sure." "I've just noticed he has pierced ears." " ♪♪ [Piano: "Für Elise"]" " Pierced ears and piercing eyes." "What's she like?" "Nosy." "Funny." "Guy's gotten very close to them." "I suppose they've become sort of parent figures for him." "And you?" " I..." "I don't know." " [Door Opens]" "Sometimes I think they're too friendly and helpful." "Hey, what a surprise." "How are you, Hutch?" "Good to see you." "You're the surprise." "What happened?" "They stopped for a rewrite, those dumb bastards." "Uh, stay where you are." "Nobody move." " Would you like some coffee?" " Love some!" "Loot." "It seems congratulations are in order." " Yeah, it's wonderful, isn't it?" " When's the baby due?" "June 28." "Did you know that Dr. Sapirstein delivered two of Hutch's grandchildren?" " Really?" " Mm." "I met your neighbor..." "Roman Castevet." "Oh, did you?" "Funny old duck, isn't he?" "Guy, did you ever notice he has pierced ears?" " You're kidding." " No, I'm not." "I saw." "It's a shame we haven't seen more of you lately, Hutch... but with me so busy and Ro the way she is, we really haven't seen anyone." " Perhaps we can have dinner together soon." " You're not going, are you?" " Thanks for the coffee, my dear." " Thank you for coming, my dear." " This isn't mine." "It must be yours." " Right you are." "Have you thought about names, or is it too soon?" "Andrew or Douglas if it's a boy." "Melinda or Sarah if it's a girl." ""Sarah"?" "What happened to "Susan"?" "Say, is there another of these around?" "Oh." " I don't see it, Hutch." " No, it's not here." "Hmm." "Oh, probably left at the City Center." "I'll stop back there." "Let's really have that dinner, shall we?" " Definitely." " Next week." " Good-bye." " Good-bye." " Bye." " Bye." "It was a nice surprise." "Guess what he said." " What?" " I look terrible." "Oh, good old Hutch." "He's spreading cheer wherever he goes." "I'm gonna get a paper, honey." " He's a professional crepe-hanger." " He's not a professional crepe-hanger." "Then he's one of the top-ranking amateurs." " [People Chattering] - [Gunfire]" "[Phone Ringing]" "[Guy] Hello?" "Oh, uh, no." "She's not feeling too well." "I think she's asleep." "Oh, I wouldn't..." "Well, she could be, yeah." "She wasn't feeling well." "All right." "Can you hold on a minute?" "It's Hutch." "He wants to speak to you." "Oh." "I told him you were resting, but he said it couldn't wait." " Hutch?" " Tell me, dear, do you go out at all?" "Well, I-I haven't been going out." "Why?" "Can you meet me tomorrow morning at 11:00 in front of the Time-Life Building?" "If you want me to." " What is it?" "Can't you tell me now?" " I'd rather not." "We can have an early lunch, if you'd like." " That would be nice." " Good. 11:00, then?" "Okay." "Oh, did you find your glove?" "No, they didn't have it." "Good night, Rosemary." " Sleep well." " You too." "Good night." " What was that?" " He wants to talk to me." " What about?" " I don't know." "He wouldn't say." "[Scoffs] I think those boys' adventure stories are going to his head." "Where are you meeting him?" "Uh, Time and Life Building tomorrow at 11:00." "[Phone Clatters On Table]" "This is ridiculous." "You're pregnant..." "I've got the yens." "I'm gonna get an ice-cream cone." "Want one?" " Yeah, I'd love one." " Vanilla?" " Uh, okay." " Okay." "[Door Opens, Shuts]" "[Moaning]" "[Doorbell Rings]" " Hi!" " Hi." "Minnie, I'm going out now..." " so I won't have my drink at 11:00." " That's fine, dear." "Take it later." "Buzz me when you get back, huh?" "[Santa Claus] Merry Christmas." "Merry Christmas." "Pain, begone." "I will have no more of thee." "[Helicopter Passing Overhead]" "[No Audible Dialogue]" "[Line Ringing]" " [Woman] Yes?" " Is this Edward Hutchins's apartment?" " Yes." "Who is this, please?" " My name is Rosemary Woodhouse." "I had an appointment with Mr. Hutchins." "Is he there?" " Hello?" " He was taken ill this morning." " "Taken ill"?" " Yes." "He's in a deep coma at St. Vincent's Hospital." "That's awful." "I just spoke to him last night about 10:30." "I spoke to him at 11:00." " Who is this?" " You don't know me, Rosemary." "I'm Grace Cardiff, Hutch's friend." "And do they..." "do they know what's causing it?" "No, they don't know yet." "At the moment, he's totally unresponsive." " Oh, my God." " I'm going to the hospital now." " Is there anything I can do?" " Not really." "All right." "Um, thank you." "Now, this is what I call the long arm of coincidence!" "[Chuckling] Oh, God!" "I said to myself, "As long as Rosemary's goin' out..." "I might as well go out and do a little bit of Christmas shoppin'."" "And now here you are and here I am." "Isn't that somethin'?" "Aw, darlin', what's the matter?" "You feel all right?" "Aw." "Aw, you poor thing." "You know what I think?" "I think we better be goin' home now." " What do ya say?" " No, no." "You have your shopping to do." "Aw, shoot." "There's two more weeks." "[Blowing Whistle]" "It'll stop any day now." "It's like a wire inside me getting tighter and tighter." "Usually, older women... with less flexible joints have this sort of trouble." " I'm not going out anymore." " You don't have to." " One minute to go!" " [Champagne Cork Pops]" "Rosemary, I want you to meet Dr. Shand." "He used to be a famous dentist." "He made the chain for your charm." "Oh." "How do you do?" "Yeah." "Come on, sweetie." "Put this hat on your head." "Doctor, it looks great." "Come over here." " Minnie, Minnie!" " Thank you." " Happy New Year." " Happy New Year." " [Indistinct]" " Happy New Year." " [Clock Chiming]" " To 1966!" " The Year One!" " [Noisemakers Blowing]" "[Water Running]" "What the hell are you doing?" "Planning the menu." "We're having a party a week from Saturday." "It's for our old fr..." "I mean, our young friends." "Minnie and Roman are not invited." "Neither is Laura-Louise." "Nor is Dr. Sapirstein." "It's gonna be a very special party." "You have to be under 60 to get in." "Well!" "For a minute there, I didn't think I was going to make it." "Oh, you'll make it, all right." "You can be a bartender." "Oh, swell." "Do you really think it's such a good idea?" "I think it's the best idea I've had in months." "Don't you think you ought to check with Dr. Sapirstein first?" "What for?" "I'm just giving a party." "I'm not gonna swim the English Channel." "What about the pain?" "Oh, haven't you heard?" "It'll go away in a day or two." "[Minnie] That looks interesting." "What's it for?" "We're having some people over on Saturday." " Oh, you feel up to entertaining?" " Yes, I do." "These are old friends I haven't seen in a long time." "They don't even know yet that I'm pregnant." "I'll give you a hand if you like." "I can help you dish things out." "No." "Thank you, Minnie, but I can manage." "It's gonna be a buffet, and we're getting a bartender, so..." "Oh." "I'll help you take the coats." "Oh, no, really." "You do too much for me as it is." "Well, let me know if you change your mind." " Drink your drink, hon." " ♪♪ [Piano: "Für Elise"]" "I'd rather not." "Not right this minute." "I'll drink it in a little while." " Well, it don't do to let it stand." " No, I won't wait too long." "You go on back, and I'll bring the glass back to you later." " Oh, I'll wait." "I'll save you the walk." " You'll do no such thing." "It makes me very nervous when people watch me cook." "Now scoot." "Don't let it stand too long." "It's gonna lose its vitamins." " ♪♪ [Pop Rock]" " You dirty, stinkin' secret-keeper!" " Congratulations!" " Congratulations!" " Thank you." " [Woman] Hey, Rosie?" " Yeah?" " Bob and Lee got stuck... at another party, dear, but they'll be over right away." " Oh, fine." " [Door Buzzer Sounds]" " Rosie, you're so lucky." " It's a fantastic house!" " I know." "You look like a piece of chalk!" "You make him feed you, love." " Adrian Marcato lived here." " Yeah, and the Trench sisters too." " Trent sisters?" " Trench." "They ate little children." "He doesn't just mean they ate them." "He means they ate them." "I make the first ones strong to get them happy." " Then I go light and conserve, eh?" " [Woman] Rosie, do you feel okay?" "You look a little tired." "Yeah, well, thanks for the understatement." "How do you like C.C. Hill?" "Isn't he a dream boy?" "Mm-hmm." " But I..." "I'm not going to him." " You're not?" "I've got another doctor named Sapirstein, an older man." " Oh, congratulations, Papa." " Thanks." "Weren't nothing to it." "Ro, I'm gonna take that dip inside, all right?" "Oh, yeah, please." "See my flowers?" "Yeah." "Elise, would you give me a hand with the..." "Oh, yeah." "Sure." "Hey, whatever happened to the other guy?" "Is he still blind?" "Donald Baumgart?" "You know who he is." " He's the boy that Zöe Piper lives with." " Oh, is he the one?" " Yeah, he's writing a play." " Is he still blind?" " Yeah." " Excuse me." "And he's going through hell trying to make the adjustment." " He dictates and Zöe writes." " Congratulations!" " [Mouthing Words]" " Can you imagine the courage of this guy?" "He's just blind a few months, you know." "Are you all right?" "Yeah, I'm fine." "I just had a cramp for a minute." "It's all right." "It's good for her." "Let her cry it out." "It's all right, darling." "It's all right." "Sit down." "Sit down." "Sit down." " Hey, let me in, will ya?" " Sorry." "Girls only." " I want to talk to Rosemary." " You can't." "She's busy." " I have to wash these..." " Use the bathroom." "It hurts so much." "I'm so afraid the baby's gonna die." "When did the pain start?" "In, uh, November." " November?" " What?" "You have been in pain since November... and he's not doing anything to help you?" "He says it's gonna stop." " Why don't you go to see another doctor?" " No, he's very good." "He was on Open End." "Well, he sounds like a sadistic nut." "Rosemary, pain like that is a warning... that something isn't right." "Go see Dr. Hill." " Go see anybody besides that... that..." " That nut!" " You can't go on suffering like this." " I won't have an abortion." "Nobody's telling you to have an abortion." "Just go to see another doctor, that's all." "The thing to do now is move." " Guy?" " Yeah?" "I'm going to Dr. Hill Monday morning." "Dr. Sapirstein is either lying, or he's..." "I don't know... out of his mind." "Pain like this is a warning something's wrong." " Rosemary..." " And I'm not drinking Minnie's drink anymore." "I want vitamins in pills like everyone else." "I haven't drunk it for the last three days." "I've thrown it away." " You've what?" " I've made my own drink." "Is that what those bitches were giving you in there?" "Is-Is that their hint for today?" " They're my friends." "Don't call them bitches." " They're a bunch of not-very-bright bitches... who ought to mind their own goddamn business!" "All they said was, get a second opinion." "Rosemary, you got the best doctor in New York." "Do you know who Dr. Hill is?" "He's a Charley Nobody." "That's who he is!" "I'm tired of hearing how great Dr. Sapirstein is." "Well, we'll have to pay Sapirstein, we'll have to pay Hill..." "It's out of the question." "Uh-uh." "Uh-uh." "No, I'm not changing." "I just want to go to Dr. Hill and get a second opinion." "I won't let you do it, Ro." "I mean, because it's, uh... it's not fair to Sapirstein." ""Not fair to"..." "What are you talking about?" "What about what's fair to me?" "Look, if you want a second opinion..." "You tell Sapirstein... and-and-and let him decide who gives it." "No!" "I want Dr. Hill!" "If you won't pay, I'll..." "At least have that much courtesy to the top man in the field." "Ro?" "Rosemary?" "What is it?" "[Whispering] It stopped." "What?" "The pain stopped." "Just like that." " "Stopped"?" " Stopped." "What was in that drink you made?" "Um, eggs... milk, sug... sugar." "What else?" "Rosemary, for chrissakes, what else was in that drink?" "It's alive!" "Guy, it's moving." "It's alive." "It's all right." " Feel." "Feel." " Oh, yeah." "I felt it." " Don't be scared." "It won't bite you." " Oh, it's wonderful." "It's really..." "I feel it kicking." "It's alive!" "It's moving!" "I'll, uh, clean up some of this mess." "Watch the walls, now, fellas." "Sort of in the center there." " Thanks, boys." "Have one on the baby." " Thank you very much." " What's that for?" " It's my hospital suitcase." "Honey, you got three weeks." "[Phone Ringing]" "Yes?" "Hello, Mrs. Cardiff." "No." "Oh, my God." "Oh, my God!" "Yes, of course I will." "[Hangs Up Phone]" "Hutch is dead." "I feel awful." "All this time, I didn't even think of him." "[Bells Tolling]" "Doctor, good-bye." "Doris, we'll see you later." " Good-bye." " I beg your pardon." "I'm Mrs. Woodhouse." "I knew your father." " Oh, so you're Rosemary." " I'm terribly sorry." "Thank you." "This is my sister, Edna." " How do you do?" " And my husband." " [Both] How do you do?" " I'm sorry to be late." " Excuse me." " Yes?" " I'm Grace Cardiff." " Oh, I was hoping to meet you." "Thank you for calling me." "I was going to mail this, but then I thought you would be here." " What is it?" " A book." "Hutch regained consciousness at the end... and he thought it was the next morning." " You know, when you had the appointment?" " Oh, yes." "I wasn't there, but he told the doctor to make sure..." " that you got the book on his desk." " Thank you." "Oh, and I'm to tell you:" "The name is an anagram." " The name of the book?" " Apparently." "He was delirious, so it's hard to be sure." "♪♪ [Piano: "Für Elise"]" "[Door Buzzer Sounds]" "I heard you come in." "It certainly wasn't very long." " I was late." "I couldn't get a taxi." " Ah, what a shame." "Oh, you got mail already?" "Somebody gave it to me." "Here." "I'll hold it." "Book?" "Oh, I know that house." "The Gilmores used to live there." " Oh?" " Yeah." "Oh, I've been there lots of times." ""Grace"...that's one of my favorite names." " It is?" " Yeah." "You need anything?" " Nothing, thank you." " Take a nap, why don't you?" " I'm going to." " Yeah." "Good-bye." ""Born in Glasgow in 1846... he was soon after brought to New York." "He resided for several years in the United St..." "He was attacked by a mob outside the Bram..."" "Outside." "Not in the lobby." "There are no witches." "Not really." ""The name is an anagram."" "Now, that really makes sense." "Poor Hutch." "[Guy] Ro?" "What's with the chain?" "What's the matter?" " Are you all right?" " I'm fine." " Oh." " Oh, thank you." " How was the funeral?" " Okay." "I got the shirt that was in The New Yorker." "I got that shirt that was in The New Yorker." "That's nice." "Do you know who Roman really is?" " What do you mean, honey?" " He's Adrian Marcato's son." " What?" " Come here." "I'm gonna show you something." ""Roman Castevet" is "Steven Marcato" rearranged." "It's from Hutch." "Look." "And look here." "There he is when he was 13." "See the eyes?" " A coincidence." " In the same house?" "And look." "Look here." ""Soon after that, in August 1886... his son Steven was born."" "1886." "Got it?" "That makes him 79 now." "No coincidence." "No, I guess not." "He's Steven Marcato, all right." "Poor old geezer." "With a crazy father like that... no wonder he switched his name around." "You..." "You don't think he's the same?" "What do you mean?" "A witch?" "Ro, are you kidding?" "Oh, Ro, honey." "His father was a martyr to it." " Do you know how he died?" " Honey, it's 1966." "This was published in 1933." "There were covens in Europe..." "that's what they're called... the, uh... the congregation... covens in Europe, in America, and in Australia, and they have one right here." "That whole bunch... the parties with the singing and the flute and the chanting..." " those are esbats or sabbaths or whatever they're called." " Honey, don't get excited." "Read what they do, Guy!" "They use blood in their rituals... and the blood that has the most power is baby's blood." "And they don't just use the blood." "They use the flesh too." "Rosemary, for God sakes!" "They're not setting foot in this apartment ever again." "And they're not coming within 50 feet of the baby." "They're old people." "They have a bunch of old friends." "Dr. Shand happens to play the recorder." "I'm not taking any chances with the baby's safety." " We're gonna sublet and move out." " We are not." " Oh, yes, we are." " We'll talk about it later." "And I don't think you ought to read any more of that." " Just this last chapter." " Not today, honey." "Look, your hands are shaking." "Now, come on." "Give it to me." " You'll read it tomorrow." " Guy..." "I mean it, now." "Give it to me." "Fantastic." "Absolutely fantastic." " What'd you say the name was?" "Machado?" " [Rosemary] Marcato." "Fantastic." "I think he told me once his father was a coffee importer." "He told Guy he was a producer." "I understand how disturbed you must be to have him for a close neighbor." "I don't want anything more to do with him." "Or Minnie." " I can't take the slightest chance where the baby's safety is concerned." " Absolutely." "Any mother would feel the same way." "Is there any chance at all that maybe..." "Minnie put something harmful in those drinks or those little cakes?" "No, Rosemary." "I'd have seen evidence of it long ago." " I won't take anything else from her." " You won't have to." "I can give you some pills that'll be adequate these last few weeks." "In a way, this may be... the answer to Minnie and Roman's problem too." " What do you mean?" " Roman's very ill." "In fact, confidentially... he has no more than a month or two left." " I had no idea." " He wanted to pay a last visit to a few of his favorite cities." "They didn't want to offend you by leaving before the baby's birth." "I'm sorry to hear that Roman isn't well." "He'd be extremely embarrassed if he knew what you found out." "Suppose we do this:" "I'll tell them to leave on Sunday." "I'll say I spoke to you, and you understand." " Are you sure they'll leave on Sunday?" " I'll see to it." "[Whistle Blowing]" "[Minnie] No matter where we are... our thoughts are gonna be with you every minute, darlin'... till you're all happy and thin again... and your sweet little boy or girl's layin' safe in your arms." "Thank you." "Thank you for everything." "Yeah, you make Guy send us lots of pictures, hear?" "Yes, I will." "I'm not going to wish you good luck, because you won't need it." "You're going to have a happy, happy life." "Have a good trip, and come back safely." "Mm, perhaps." "But I may stay on... in Dubrovnik or Pescara or maybe Majorca." "We shall see." "We shall see." " Come back." " Bye, Minnie." " Yeah, good-bye." " Good-bye, Roman." " Bye." "Good-bye." " Take care, now." " Kennedy Airport, Pan Am Building, please." " [All Shouting Good-byes]" "Oh, boy." " [Rosemary] Guy?" " Hmm?" "Where's my book?" "Oh, I, uh, put it in the garbage." " What?" " I didn't want you upsetting yourself anymore." "Guy, Hutch gave me that book." "He left it to me." " I wasn't thinking about that." " That's a terrible thing to do." "I'm sorry." "I wasn't thinking about Hutch." " [Man] Hey, watch out, lady!" " [Tires Screech]" "[Horns Honking]" ""In some cults it was believed... that a personal possession of the victim was necessary... and spells could not be cast... without one of the victim's belongings."" " [Man] Yeah?" " Is this Donald Baumgart?" " That's right." " This is Rosemary Woodhouse." " Oh." " Guy Woodhouse's wife?" " Oh, yes." " I wanted to know..." "My God, you must be a happy little lady these days, huh?" "Living in the Bram." "Rows of uniformed lackeys." "I wanted to know how you are, if there's been any improvement." "Well, bless your heart." "[Chuckling]" "Guy Woodhouse's wife, huh?" "Well, I'm splendid." "I've only broke six glasses today." "Guy and I are both very unhappy... that he got his break because of your misfortune." "Well, what the hell, huh?" "That's the way it goes, right?" "I'm sorry I didn't come along that day he came to visit you." "Vi..." "Visit?" "No." "Oh, you mean the day we met for drinks, huh?" " Yes, that's what I meant." " Right, right." "By the way, he has something of yours, you know." "What do you mean?" " Don't you..." "Don't you know?" " No." "Didn't you miss anything that day?" "You..." "You don't mean my tie, do you?" " Yes." " Oh." "Well..." "Well, he's got mine, and I've got his." " He can have it back." " I'm sor..." "It doesn't matter to me now what, uh..." "[Chuckles] color tie I'm wearing." "I didn't understand." "I thought he'd only borrowed it." "No, no, no, no." "It was..." "It was a trade." "Or do you think he stole it?" "I have to hang up now." "I just wanted to know if there'd been any improvement." "No." "No, there isn't." "It was nice of you to call." "Bye." "[Woman] You aren't in labor, are you?" "No, but I have to see the doctor." "It's very important." "Well, he has to leave at 5:00, and there is Mrs. Byron." " I'm sure he'll see you." "Just sit down." " Thank you." "[Woman] How is it out there?" " Oh, awful." "Ninety-four." " Uh!" " [Dr. Sapirstein] See you next week." "Make an appointment." " [Woman] Yes, I will." " You're due any day now, aren't you?" " Tuesday." " You're smart to get it over with before August." " Yeah." "Mrs. Byron." "He'll see you right after." " Thank you." " Let's see." " July the 10th?" " Um, what time?" " 4:00?" " Fine." " All righty." " See you then." " Thank you." " Bye-bye." " Bye." "Good luck." "Thank you." "[Door Opens, Shuts]" "Mmm." "That smells nice." "What is it?" "Oh, my..." "It's called Detchema." "Mm." "Well, it's a big improvement... on your regular, if you don't mind my saying." "That wasn't a perfume." "That was a good-luck charm." "I threw it away." "Good." "Maybe the doctor will follow your example." " Dr. Sapirstein?" " He has the aftershave." "But it isn't, is it?" "[Chuckles] I don't think he has a good-luck charm." "Anyway, he has the same smell once in a while, whatever it is... and when he does... oh, boy!" "Haven't you ever noticed?" "No." "Maybe you thought it was your own you were smelling." "What is it, a chemical thing?" "Will you excuse me a moment, please?" "My husband is waiting outside." "I have to go and tell him something." "I'll be back in a minute." "[Muttering]" "[Line Ringing]" " [Woman] Dr. Hill's office." " Dr. Hill, please." "This is his answering service." "Would you like to leave a message?" "Ye..." "Uh, yes." "My name is Rosemary Woodhouse." "Woodhouse." "And, um, would you ask him to call me back right away, please?" "Uh, my number is... 475-2598." "It's an emergency." "I'm in a phone booth." "All right." "Quickly please, Dr. Hill." "Call me." "Oh..." "Oh, really?" "Did... did he really say that?" "Oh, he didn't say that!" "What else was it that he said?" "Oh, that... that's wonderful." "That's won..." "That's mar... marvelous." " [Ringing]" " Yes, Dr. Hill?" "[Woman] Did I get the name right?" "Is it Rosemary Woodhouse?" " Yes." " Are you Dr. Hill's patient?" "No." "Uh, yes." "I mean, well, I've seen him once." "Um, please, please tell him he has to speak to me." "It's important." "Tell him to call me, hmm?" " All right." " Thank you." "All of them." "All of them." "All in it together." "All of them..." "All of Them Witches." "Don't you worry, little Andy or Jenny." "I'll kill them before I let them touch you." " [Ringing]" " Yes?" "Doctor..." " Mrs. Woodhouse?" " Yes." "Oh, thank you, thank you for calling me." " I thought you were in California." " No." "No, I've been to another doctor... and he isn't good, Dr. Hill." "He's been lying to me and giving me... unusual kinds of drinks and capsules." "The baby's due on Tuesday." "Remember you told me June 28?" " Well, I want you to deliver it." " Mrs. Woodhouse..." "No, please, let me..." "let me talk to you." "Let me come and explain what's been going on." "I can't stay too long here." "They'll be coming looking for me." "Dr. Hill?" "Dr. Hill, there's a plot." "I know that sounds crazy." "You're probably thinking..." ""My God, this poor girl has really flipped."" "But I haven't flipped, Dr. Hill." "I swear by all the saints I haven't." "There are plots against people, aren't there?" "Yes, I suppose there are." "Well, there's one against me and my baby." "Come to my office tomorrow after 5:00, and we'll..." "Now." "Right now." "Mrs. Woodhouse, I'm not at my office now." "I'm home." " I've been up since yesterday morning..." " I beg you!" "I beg you." "I can't stay here." " My office at 8:00." " Yes." "Thank you." " All right." " Oh, wait." "Dr. Hill?" " Yes?" " My husband may call you and ask if..." "I'm not gonna speak to anyone." "I'm gonna take a nap." "Thank you." "Keep the change." "Driver, please, could you wait and watch... until I'm inside the door?" "He lied to you." "He said we were going to Hollywood." "The worst thing of all..." "he's involved with them as well." "He sleeps in pajamas now." "He never used to before." "He's probably hiding a mark." "You know, they give you marks when you join." "All sorts of rituals." "They hold sabbaths there." "You could hear them singing through the wall." "Guy... my husband, Guy..." "said it was Dr. Shand... one of these people, playing a recorder." "Now, how did he know it was Dr. Shand unless he was there with them?" "Uh, they're very clever people." "They planned everything right from the beginning." "They probably made some sort of deal with Guy." "They gave him success, and he promised them... our baby to use in their rituals." "I know this sounds crazy, but I've..." "I've got books here." "Look." "There was another actor like him, Donald Baumgart... and they put a spell on him." "They cast a spell on him and made him blind... so that Guy could get his part." "Look." "Here." "I had this friend, Edward Hutchins." "Maybe you heard of him." "A writer." "He wrote stories for boys." "Anyway, he was my good friend since I first came to New York." " May I keep this?" " Yes, please." "And, uh, anyway... once Mr. Hutchins came to visit me." "Came to visit me." "It was the time I was having this pain, Doctor." "I was suffering so..." "You can't imagine how much I was suffering." "And they wouldn't help me." "Nobody would." "They were giving me a drink with tannis root in it... also witches' stuff, tannis root." "Hutch came, and he immediately saw something was wrong." "He knew about witches, you see?" "Suddenly, Guy rushed in with his makeup still on, which he never did." "They probably called him to come home... and steal one of Hutch's belongings, which he did." "Took his glove." "And they put a spell on him too." "Put him in a coma." "Three months later, he died." "Now, maybe all this is coincidence, but one thing is for sure:" "They have a coven, and they want my baby." "It certainly seems that way." "I was afraid you wouldn't believe me." "I don't believe in witchcraft... but there're plenty of maniacs and crazy people in this city." "The doctor's name is Shand, you say?" "No, Dr. Shand is one of these people." "The doctor's name is Sapirstein." "Abraham Sapirstein?" "Yeah." " Do you know him?" " I've met him once or twice." "To look at him, you'd never think he..." "No, you wouldn't." "Not in a million years." "Would you like to go into Mount Sinai right now?" "This evening?" "Yeah, I would love to." "Would that be possible?" "It's difficult." "We'll try." "I want you to lie down and get some rest." "Thanks." "Anything they've got." "Even a broom closet would be fine." "I hope we can do better than that." "I'll see what I can do, and then I'll check you over." "Should I undress now?" "No, it'll take me about a half an hour on the telephone." "You just lie down." "Rest." " Okay?" " Okay." "God bless Dr. Hill." "Everything's gonna be okay now, Andy or Jenny." "We're gonna be in a nice, clean hospital... with no visitors." "Oh." "Monsters." "Unspeakable!" "[No Audible Dialogue]" "[Door Opens]" "I was sleeping." "Come with us quietly, Rosemary." "Don't argue or make a scene... because if you say anything more about witches or witchcraft... we're gonna be forced to take you to a mental hospital." "You don't want that, do you?" "So put your shoes on." "We just want to take you home." "No one's gonna hurt you." "Or the baby." "Put your shoes on." "She's fine now." " We're going to go home and rest." " That's all it takes." " Thank you for your trouble, Doctor." " I'm glad I could be of help, sir." "It's a shame you had to come in here." "Good evening, Mrs. Woodhouse." "Mrs. Woodhouse!" "[Gasping]" "[Gasping Continues]" " Ro!" "Ro!" " [Pounding On Door]" "Ro!" "Oh, Ro, baby." "Ro!" "Ro!" " Come on." "Open up, Ro." " Go to hell!" " Come on, honey." "No one's gonna hurt you." " You promised them the baby!" "Get out!" "I didn't promise them anything." "What are you talking about?" "Promised who?" " [Dr. Sapirstein] Rosemary..." " You too!" "Get away!" "[Line Ringing]" " [Woman] Hello?" " Elise?" " Mrs. Dunstan is out." " Who's this?" " The babysitter." " Do you know where she went?" " They went to the movies." " This is Rosemary." "Please ask her to call Rosemary the second she gets home." "It's terribly urgent." " Don't forget, hmm?" " Don't worry." "I'll tell her." "Thank you." "[Floorboards Creaking]" "We don't want to hurt you, Ro." "Uh..." "We're your friends, Rosemary." "There's nothing to be afraid of, Rosemary." "Honest and truly there isn't." "This is nothing but a mild sedative to calm you down." "You know I wouldn't let anyone..." " Ro!" "Ro!" " [Screaming]" " Ro!" "Ro!" " Help me!" " Oh, Ro, baby." "Stop." " Somebody help me!" "Ro!" "[Muffled Shouts]" "Wait a minute!" "Wait a minute, now." " We happen to be in labor here." " [Woman] Here?" " Here." " You're gonna be all right, baby." " You're gonna be perfectly all right." "I swear to God." " [Phone Ringing]" " It was supposed to be Doctors Hospital!" " Don't go on like this, Ro, please." " Doctors Hospital, with nurses..." " It'll be perfectly all right." " And everything clean and sterile!" " I give you my word of honor!" "Hello?" "No, she isn't here, Elise." "I'll have her call you back." "[Hangs Up Phone]" "Oh, Andy..." "Andy or Jenny..." "I'm sorry, my little darling." "Forgive me!" "Hi." "Is it all right?" "Yes." "It's fine." "What is it?" "A boy." "[Chuckles]" "Really?" "A boy?" "And it's all right?" "Yes." " Where is it?" " [Exclaims]" "Oh, my goodness!" "Oh, dear, what a start you gave me!" "My goodness!" "The baby... where is it?" "Oh, uh, you-you wait here one minute." "Where's my baby?" "I'll go find Dr. Abe." "Ju..." "Just wait." "Where's the baby?" "Where is it?" "Honey..." "There were complications, Rosemary, but nothing that will affect future births." "It's..." "Dead." "It was in the wrong position." "In a hospital, I might've been able to do something, but you wouldn't listen." "[Guy] Honey, we can have others as soon as you're better." "I promise." "[Dr. Sapirstein] Absolutely." "You can start on another in a very few months." " [Guy] As soon as you're better." " You lie." "I don't believe you." "You're both lying." " Honey." "Honey..." " You're lying!" "It didn't die!" "You took it!" "You're lying!" "You witches, you're lying!" "You're lying!" "You're lying!" "You're lying!" "Abe says it's called... prepartum." "I don't know." "It's some kind of a hysteria." "Boy, you were really - kapow!" "..." "out of your mind." "Uh..." "Yeah, I know where you got the idea... that Minnie and Roman were witches..." "[Chuckling]" "But how come you thought Abe and I joined the party?" "Um..." "Let's face it, darling." "You had the... prepartum crazies." "And now you're gonna rest, and you're gonna get over them." "I know this is the worst thing that ever happened to you... but from now on, everything's gonna be roses." "Paramount's within an inch of where we want 'em... and suddenly Universal's interested too." "And we're gonna blow this town, and we're gonna be in the beautiful hills of Beverly... with a pool and a spice garden..." "the whole schmear." "And the kids too, Ro." "Scout's honor." "You heard what Abe said." "Well, I got to run now and get famous." "Let me see your shoulder." " Let me see your shoulder." " Are you kidding?" "Your left shoulder." "All right." "Anything you say." "I generally prefer doing this to music." "Left shoulder." "Right shoulder." "And that's as far as I go without a blue light." "The high-pressure area that we see here..." " has been causing this extreme heat and humidity..." " [Baby Crying]" "And unfortunately will be staying with us city dwellers... through the rest of the week." "It will be hot and overcast Upstate New York as well... with the possibility of thunder showers tonight and tomorrow..." " [Crying Continues]" " With gradual clearing by tomorrow night." "All you people leaving the city this upcoming weekend should find it hot..." " [Clicks Off] - [Crying Continues]" "[Clicks Off]" "[Crying Continues]" "Do you hear a baby crying?" "Why, no, I don't, dear." "Now, you come and get into your bed now." "It's time for you to take your pill." " Did you turn the air conditioner off?" " Mm-hmm." "You mustn't do that, dear." "Why, people are actually dying, it's so hot." "What do you do with the milk?" "Why, uh, throw it away." "Oh." "Your pill, Rosemary." "Hello, girls." "Whew!" "Ninety-five out." "Some new people moved on in up on eight." "Do they have a baby?" "How'd you know that?" "I heard it crying." "Oh, wait a minute." " Oh!" "No." "Don't do that." " Why not?" "Uh... a little messy, that's all." "[Lock Clicking]" "[Creaking]" "[Creaking Continues]" "[Door Shuts]" "[Rosemary] Easy, easy." ""You've got her too high."" "[Man] Not if he's still waiting for a plane, he isn't!" " [People Laughing] - [Man] Shh." "Quiet, please." "[Minnie] Ah, hell, now, Hayato, you're just making fun of me." "You're pullin' my leg, like we say over here." "[Indistinct Conversations]" "[Woman Screams]" "Rosemary, go back to bed." "You know you're not supposed to be up and around." " Is the mother?" " Uh, Rosemary..." " Shut up!" " Rosemary..." "Shut up." "You're in Dubrovnik." "I don't hear you." "What have you done to it?" "What have you done to its eyes?" "He has his father's eyes." "What are you talking about?" "Guy's eyes are normal!" "What have you done to him, you maniacs?" "Satan is his father, not Guy." "He came up from hell and begat a son of mortal woman." " Hail, Satan!" " Hail, Satan!" "Satan is his father, and his name is Adrian." "He shall overthrow the mighty and lay waste their temples." "He shall redeem the despised... and wreak vengeance... in the name of the burned and the tortured!" " Hail, Adrian!" " [All] Hail, Adrian!" " No!" "No!" " Hail, Satan!" "Hail, Satan!" " Hail, Satan!" " He chose you out of all the world." "Out of all the women in the whole world, he chose you." "He arranged things 'cause he wanted you to be the mother of his only livin' son." " His power is stronger than stronger." " Hail, Satan!" " His might shall last longer than longer." " Hail, Satan!" "No!" "It can't be!" " No!" " Go look at his hands." "And his feet." "Oh, God!" " God is dead!" " [Woman] Hail, Satan!" "Satan lives!" "The year is One!" " Hail, Satan!" " The year is One and God is done!" " Oh, God!" " The year is One!" " [Several People] Hail, Adrian!" "[Shouting Continues]" "Why don't you help us out, Rosemary?" "Be a real mother to Adrian." "You don't have to join if you don't want to." "Just be a mother to your baby." "Minnie and Laura-Louise are too old." " It's not right." " [Doorbell Rings]" "Think about it, Rosemary." "Oh, God!" "Oh, shut up with your "Oh, Gods," or we'll kill ya, milk or no milk!" "You shut up." "Rosemary's his mother... so you show some respect." "[Roman] Come, my friend." "Come see him." "Come see the child." " [Man] What would you like to drink?" " [Man #2] I should like a Coca-Cola." "They, uh, promised me you wouldn't be hurt... and you haven't been, really." "I mean, supposing you had the baby and you lost it?" "Wouldn't that be the same?" "And we're getting so much in return, Ro." "Oh, Guy, let me introduce you to Argyron Stavropoulos." "How proud you must be!" "Is this the mother?" " Why in the name..." " Here, drink this." "You'll feel a little better." "What's in it?" "Tannis root?" "Nothin's in it." "Just plain, ordinary Lipton's tea." "You drink it." "[Adrian Crying]" "[Crying Continues]" "Get away from here!" "Roman!" "You're rocking him too fast." "Sit down!" "Get her out of here." "Put her where she belongs." "You're rocking him too fast." "That's why he's crying." " Mind your own business!" " Let Rosemary rock him." "Go on." "Sit down with the others." "Let Rosemary rock him." " Why, she's liable to..." " Sit down with the others, Laura-Louise." "[Crying Continues]" "Rock him." "You're trying to get me to be his mother." "Aren't you his mother?" "[Crying Continues]" "[Crying Stops]" "♪♪ [Rosemary Vocalizing]" "♪♪ [Ends]"