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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20F] with my BF [20 M] Should I be upset about this?
POST: Okay, so we dated for a year. He left me and while we were broken up he dated a woman and I went on a few dates with other men too. We got back together about 5 month ago because I still love him.
Everything is going great, but there is one thing that is bothering me. He is still talking to his ex girlfriend, the one he dated 4 days after we broke up. I mean like facebook, text and all that good stuff.
I lost all contact with the few guys I went on a date with because I don't think its right for me to talk to them when I am in a serious relationship.
Is this something I should be upset about? Or am I just being an overly attached girlfriend?
TL;DR: | I don't like the fact that my boyfriend still talks to his ex girlfriend. Am I being overly attached or is it okay for me to be upset over? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Moved to small town for spouse's education, now cannot find job!
POST: About 8 months ago, my husband and I (both in late 20s) moved to a relatively small town so he could finish his bachelors degree. We both left mediocre jobs to persue this. He now has a mediocre job AND is going to school full time, but I am left completely jobless. I would have never moved to this town for my own personal opportunities but the long term opportunities when my husband finishes his degree are worth it.
It feels impossible to find work. I have a liberal arts bachelors degree and job experience. I have been applying for all sorts of jobs (some I am over qualified for, some I am under qualified for, and some I feel I am perfectly qualified for.) I have gobs of retail experience but I haven't had any bites. I was SURE I'd be able to find a seasonal job over the holidays but was left short.
To help make ends meet, I was even driving back to the town we moved from and covering weeklong stints at my old job as other employees too vacations. I was lucky I was able to do this as I was able to stay with my parents during these times. However, the opportunities for covering shifts is pretty much over since January-April is my old companies dead season.
I'm wondering if anyone has any tips on finding work in a place where jobs seem to come up very rarely. I'm often told that there are hundreds of applicants for each job that does come up.
My husband and I are open to me traveling for a job but it would have to be a situation where expenses are covered (we couldn't afford to set me up in an apartment in a different city.) Traveling brand ambassadors, etc. I just don't know where to start?
TL;DR: | Moved to small town for husband's education, unable to find work. Any tips on finding work where there seems to be none? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: Tifu by not communicating with my teachers
POST: So I go to an ll boys high school that most of the male members o my family have graduated from (despite it being a private high school I'm not preppy or anything like that)
My school posts out grades online every 5 weeks for our parents to see kind I like a progress report. All of the other family members that have graduated from my school are extremely intelligent and I'm nothing more than average. Even though my parents know that I'm trying extremely hard to keep my grades up I can't do much better than an 85% overall.
Here's the fuck up. My school uses a program/website thingy that allows to submit homework, email the teachers etc. well today I found out that mine hasn't been working right and almost half of my assignments haven't submitted causing m grades to plummet. Right off a fucking cliff. When I asked my teachers about it they shrugged it off and said "not my problem" (exact words from my chem teacher) they out all the blame on me even though I showed them that they've all been submitted (after you complete an assignment it sends a little confirmed email to you)
My school tends to kick people out of you are failing two or more classes by the end of the second quarter. I'm currently failing three and at risk of failing one more because of this online homework situation.
To make things worse I'm the youngest of three brothers that constantly pick on me/harass me because of grades, sports and anything else they can think of. They're all coming home from college as I'm typing this.
TL;DR: | that because I didn't ask my teachers how I was doing might get kicked out of my school, picked on mercilessly, and lose any chance of getting Into a good college. Fuck. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskDocs
TITLE: Concerned. Basal cell carcinoma?
POST: Hi, I'm a 21yo white and fair skinned female who has a history of heavy tanning, starting in 2009 which lasted until 2011. Heavy tanning as in level 4, tanning for 15 minutes every single day, sometimes twice a day if they would let me. Used sub-par uv protection. (Tanning lotion.)
Skip ahead to present day, having not touched a tanning bed in 5 years, I have this 'spot' on my right butt cheek that has been there for about 3 years that I know of. It started out smaller and mole-like, with small back dots, however now it has grown into this here and I'm concerned. It is hard to the pinch, slightly raised, but not tender nor hot. I've tried to drain it but nothing comes out, or feels like it needs to. It doesn't bleed or crust. There is a slight depression in the middle. I have made an appointment with a dermatologist in the next 2 weeks but am curious to know what others think. Thanks in advance.
TL;DR: | history of tanning, spot appeared at least 3 years ago, slight changes in shape/color/size. Getting checked but would like opinions. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20M] am not feeling supported in my fitness lifestyle by my SO [18F]. At what point should I consider this a serious problem?
POST: I've fallen pretty deep into the world of weight lifting along with focusing on my nutrition. I'm doing it because it is important to me to stay healthy and it's definitely become a hobby! It's important to me. I set goals and try my best to stick to them. I wouldn't say it has taken over my life (as school and work don't allow it to). I spend approximately 7-9 hours a week at the gym.
My SO isn't unhealthy, really, but she definitely isn't into fitness to the degree I am. I have started to feel a little push back from her on my effort to workout and eat well.
I've already attempted to get her into working out, but I can tell she feels like I'm nagging her as soon as I mention it. She has come to the gym with me, but hates spending more than an hour there and obviously isn't enjoying the workout. I tried to make it as fun and easy as possible, but she didn't want to do it again. It was disappointing, to say the least.
We are separated by an hour drive or so but see each other on the weekends, typically more than just Sat+Sun. I don't work out those days so we can spend time together. She has explicitly asked me to do this, and I will because that seems like a reasonable sacrifice to make.
Now if plans change and she can come over a day early or so, she will, but can get exceedingly upset if I want to stick to my plan and go to the gym. This is just one of many things where I feel the push back against my lifestyle.
When do I consider this a relationship-threatening issue? I don't see her getting into fitness anytime soon, and fights over it have already begun.
Any insight would be great, especially from anyone who has gone through something similar! All comments are welcome.
TL;DR: | My girlfriend isn't being completely supportive of my fitness lifestyle and I'm trying to draw the line where I consider this to be a serious problem. |
SUBREDDIT: r/college
TITLE: Graduated with a 2.5 GPA now asking for references for grad school
POST: So, I graduated from University this year with a 2.5 gpa in International Relations. While I've seen many drop out or end up graduating with a pass degree I still feel embarrassed that I've ended school with just a second lower class.
Now, I'm looking for postgraduate schools to apply to but, it is not easy finding a good/great school that would consider me. Luckily, I've found a few that have stated on their pages that they would consider a lower second class degree.
So at the moment, I've narrowed down the search to about 3 universities so far in the U.K., I'm from the Caribbean. But, I feel like a complete buffoon requesting reference letters to my past lecturers.
On one hand, a lot of my lecturers have praised me for my engaging attitude to their class and the subject. But on the other, I felt like I've let them down by just skating through undergrad.
Hopefully, at least my transcript will show a complete turn around during the latter stage of undergrad and I've been employed for the past year.
I'm sorry if I haven't got a general question here, I'm looking for guidance, encouragement and/or a kick up the backside
TL;DR: | I got a 2.5 gpa, now I'm applying to a couple of universities in the UK and I feel like a fool while requesting references. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: My boyfriend is really upset... what do i do? :(
POST: Okay, so, here it goes...
He's a junior in college and he's keeping his grades high for med school (it's been his goal to become a doctor since i met him and I've known him since middle school)... he even went for some interview that gave him the highest recommended for med schools once he graduates (not sure what that's called exactly).
But this passed semester, he got a really shitty Physics teacher and he's been able to keep his grade afloat... but this morning he told me he failed the final and it's reduced his grade to a C+. His professor isn't the kind of guy to curve grades and it's pretty much the end of the semester so there isn't much else he could do about it. From the way it seems, the whole class hasn't been doing well due to this guy's teaching methods (or something like that). And just now my boyfriend told me that the possibility for med school was pretty much over and... he's really torn up about it and is too upset to talk.
I'm... not so sure what to do for him. I offered him a visit but he hasn't replied to my text yet (he lives an hour away from me). Does this really seal the deal for med school for him? Other than visit him, give him hugs, make him food, massages, etc., what else can I do for him? Should I try and take his mind off of it? How can I help relieve some of his stress? Is there any reassuring factors out there that would help? Are there any experienced med students or med school professors out there with any input? Anything? :(
TL;DR: | Straight A student's grade goes down along with the chance of getting into med school causing his distressed girlfriend to make a Reddit topic asking for strangers from the internet for help. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [29M] screwed up. I am engaged to a woman [27F] that I love after dating for two years. I also in love with another woman[25F] and do not know what to do.
POST: This is my first post to this subreddit. Without getting into the pointless details, I am engaged to someone [27F] and am now starting to have second thoughts about marrying them. We have been dating for about two years. There is a friend [25F] from my past that showed up in my life, and though we never dated back then, there were mutual feelings that immediately resumed once we started talking again. We were both unaware that this existed, and were both in committed relationships. Once we met up again though, it was like electricity, we couldn't turn it off despite our efforts. What we should have done, and I know this, is ended our communication with each other right away. But we valued our friendship too much, and were too overwhelmed with a feeling of grief over not having expressed this attraction to each other before.
At this point, I cannot imagine my life without either person, romantically or as a friend. I am aware that this will end with my having to sever the relationship of one or the other in all probability. The woman I am engaged to is the sweetest person I have ever met and I can't imagine why I wouldn't want to marry her. I am in love with my friend in a completely different way, however, and I am having trouble distinguishing whether this is the result of it being a new love or if it is because I should have been with this person the whole time.
I was very happy before my friend came back into my life and thought I had found the person I would spend the rest of my life with, but when she did return it suddenly highlighted that I was dissatisfied with certain aspects of my current relationship.
I don't know if I'm looking for answers here. I am just very frustrated and I don't know that there is anyone I can talk to about this. I spoke with my fiancee about this friend, and she understandably got hurt and did not want me to talk about it. My life has been turned upside-down and I don't know what to do.
TL;DR: | I am engaged. I am in love with her. An old friend recently returned to my life. I am in love with her. I screwed up and want to avoid screwing up the rest of my life |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26 M] dating [25 F] 3 dates + some non-dates, is she ignoring me?
POST: Hey Everyone. Not sure what to think here.
I'm pretty new to relationships and dating, late bloomer I guess. Met this girl on Tinder and we had a pretty good time. We've had 3 dates now, on the 3rd we ended up having sex and she spent the night at my place. We've also gone hiking and spent some time in non-date situations just a couple of times.
This was three weeks ago and the morning she left we ended on good terms, nothing went wrong. She was going away for a week and a half and told her we should get together when she gets back. We had texted a few times while she was away, but noticed her replies were less frequent and shorter over time; I figure I was just being annoying. Since she's come back, there's been two occasions where she has bailed on plans to catch up. Maybe they are legitimate. The last message I sent her was 3 days ago, telling her to text me when she has time / wants to catchup and I haven't heard back.
Should I give it more time? I'm interested in this girl and all our dates have gone great, I just figure after 3 weeks of not seeing each other she would want to see me as much as I want to see her. I was thinking of calling her on Sunday (a full week from texting her to message me) and straight up asking her. I hope she's just genuinely busy, I hate it when people aren't honest and upfront with their intentions.
TL;DR: | Not sure if this girl is subtly trying to ignore me, or if I'm being paranoid. I thought everything was going well =/ |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (22 F) was dumped by my (22 F) girlfriend of almost two years on Monday. We live together and I still love her. I don't know what to do.
POST: My girlfriend, Kristen and I hadn't been having any problems that I had noticed. I had been out of town for the day to spend time with my sister on her birthday. I stopped by her work when I got back to town and we talked and everything was fine. She got home from work and started crying.
She told me that she was having doubts about us, that we were stuck in a rut and had lost our passion. We hadn't been having sex as much as usual lately but we had sex about two days prior to this and it was amazing.
I told her that we could get out of the rut. That we could stop watching so much tv, we could go out more, hang out with more people. I told her that I would try anything. She said that she thought we should break up. She said she had been feeling down a lot lately. First it was just general sadness, then it turned into thinking about our relationship.
We had been together for exactly 1 year and 8 months to the day. We have been living together since last November. Our apartment does have another room that is technically mine, but I don't know what to do about our situation.
I still want to be with her. I still love her with all that I have. I thought that we would be together forever. We talked about our family and where we would move after college. I want us to get back together, but no matter what I want her in my life in some way.
She says that she wants to be friends, and she really means it. We have gotten coffee, talked, and watched movies together since then. I just don't know how long I should wait for her to come around or what I should do. This is the first serious relationship that I've ever been in. I've never had to go through this before.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend of almost 2 years broke up with me and I don't know how to handle the situation at all. I am a relationship noob. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm a concerned [30/F] who recently met a [46/M] online who doesn't ask me many questions - do I address this?
POST: Met a great guy online. We've talked on the phone several times and I like him a lot. We have a lot in common and he is very sweet. He also is a BIG talker - more than me, and I'm a chatterbox. I'm also in mental health, so I'm good at asking people questions and learning about them. He is not as skilled. It's not like he never asks me anything about me, and if I tell him a story or bring up a problem, he usually has feedback or will go in depth.
Maybe I'm nitpicking? But this is the only thing about him that is needling at me. I don't know if he knows he's doing it. I also think I keep it going by asking him more and more about a story.
Should I be direct? What should I say? Again, he's a nice guy, and I think he just likes to talk and maybe needs a gentle hint, but it's also not been that long. What should I do?
TL;DR: | Do I call him out this early for not asking me a ton of questions or just wait and see what he does? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Opinions please
POST: I 30(m) with 26 (f) coworker
Do you guys think this is too much?
Can I ask this girl that I work with (my ex) to just not talk about her bf in front of me because it just hurts me? The thing is I have been ignoring her for a month now and I stopped talking to her because she has a bf which I did not approve of (I know selfish me)
I'm leaving the job in a year (graduating school) and I realized that I think I should be amicable with her at least and be friendly because we did share some good times together and in less than a year I'm leaving anyways. So what do you guys think can I ask her to be friends but don't talk about her bf just as a request? (I know she is sad that I don't talk to her anymore but I told her before that I will not talk to her because she has a bf)
TL;DR: | Ask an ex to not talk about her bf when I'm present and I'll be friends with her again. Is that ok or bad ? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Girl [22/f] with boyfriend, and me [26/m] texting her because I like her.
POST: Girl with boyfriend, and me texting her because I like her
I text her on facebook saying she was both beautiful and smart and that her boyfriend was lucky to have her...
Then she replied that "she" was lucky to have him and that I will meet him one day...But then she says: "lets see if you show me some of your artwork"...and jokes abut making an artshow in the town...
Now the artshow in the town is just a joke...but why would she want to see my paintings? Should I ask her to come over one day...or is she just been friendly...I don't get it.
I wonder what you guys think? Should I invite her to my house one day to show her my artwork...or just back off and move one?
Thanks
TL;DR: | I text girl, say she is beautiful and her bf is lucky, she says she is lucky too, but wants to see my artwork... |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by pissing all over my stomach and then wiping my ass with a spider
POST: Okay so last night we ate a whole lot of deep fried cheese and drank all the fuckin' whiskey. As those connoisseurs among you may be able to imagine, when I sat my ass down on the porcelain today it sounded like someone emptying a bucket of fish onto the sidewalk. Things weren't pretty.
Having magically turned all that cheese and whiskey into the brown soup that I had now evacuated into the space beneath me, phase two began.
Why is it that you can't piss until you've gotten the shit out of the way? As I sat with my phone, casually flicking ladies left or right on Tinder, I unleashed a steady stream of piss directly into the space between toilet and seat, which immediately turned into a warm indiscriminate array of piss droplets casually bouncing up and dribbling down my stomach, easing their way neatly into the hair around my belly button. I totally blame those 18 year old hotties for my delayed reaction.
After covering my hand in piss as well, I made a quick mid-shit clean up as I stood with my cheeks carefully spread as to not create extra unnecessary mess. Turning to stage two of the delicate operation, I swiftly wrapped a few sheets of poop tickets around my hand and, in one gliding motion, directed it to the area requiring attention. I nonchalantly glanced at the paper as it disappeared behind me, not having time to process the information that a pea-sized spider was calmly sitting in the middle of the soft white cloud, sacrificing himself to an unimaginable end. It wasn't until the paper was firmly wedged up my ass that my hand reacted and pulled away. By that time it was too late, and I felt the final fleeting efforts of the dying insect vibrate against my brown eye.
I spent the next few minutes of my life frantically wiping my ass to get the dead insect pieces out of my poop hair. I live in Australia and if a spider bites you or even just bleeds to death on your asshole you'll probably die.
TL;DR: | I fired piss from my dick into the space between bowl and lid, which covered me in piss. Then I shoved a spider up my ass. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I [26/f] deal with [28/m] moving on after 3 years together?
POST: My boyfriend of 3 years and I just recently broke up, and although he's not seeing anyone yet (it's only been about 2 weeks), I've always wondered how people genuinely aren't impacted by the news that their ex is seeing someone new. When I talked to my ex about this before moving out, he said that it wouldn't bother him to think of me with someone else, and I believe him. It's not that he's insensitive or that the relationship didn't mean anything to him, or that he's playing games, but that he genuinely has always thought this way and been fairly detached with emotional things.
He mentioned something about certain people/places not having ownership. So for instance, that's why he wouldn't be hurt to see me with someone else, why he wouldn't be hurt if I brought a new boyfriend to a place he and I used to go (like "our restaurant" or "our hangout spot.") I think he's able to understand that the love and relationship we had was special, and is separate of any future relationships. That all relationships are different and that me being with someone else doesn't take away from our relationship, or mean anything other than I moved on. Which I admire, and frankly, would really like to adopt that way of thinking. I just don't understand how.
I guess I'm just trying to gain an understanding so that when the time comes, I'm prepared and can hopefully not feel so hurt. We ended things very amicably, though the reason was because he didn't see himself marrying me, because he didn't feel like he had enough control/involvement in the relationship. (Very hurtful, especially since we had lived together for a year and moved across the country together. But I did bring up the initial discussion, so I was prepared for it). However, we ended things on very good terms, and I do really hope we can be friends one day. However, I know that eventually, I'd need to be ok with him being with someone else to have this be successful. Any help or advice (cognitive behavioral therapy techniques always seem to work really well for me!) would be much appreciated.
TL;DR: | Going through new breakup, want to know how to be ok with the thought/news of ex seeing someone else so I'm prepared when the time comes. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My bf [M 17] and I [F 19] are finding ourselves in a rough spot...
POST: FWe've been together for about two years now and it's been pretty strong, but as of late we've found everything to be somewhat...boring. Everytime we hang out we just watch Netflix, fall asleep, or just lay there talking. We almost never get out and do things (mainly due to lack of money). We both have part time jobs, but live in a small town with no real events going on and the ones that are here do not pique our interests (most are golfing or sports related). Neither of us are quite sure how to keep things interesting...we do live an hour from two large cities, but unfortunately cannot go very often (I'm the only one that can drive and my parents won't let me go to them by myself). Any suggestions of things to try?
TL;DR: | bf and I are finding ourselves bored. Not of each other, but because we don't really do anything together and our town doesn't have much going on + lack of funds |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I(18m) moved to another city. My SO(18f) and I are having a "crisis"...
POST: Me(18m) and my 1 year SO(18f) used to study in the same classrom in highschool, but, in January, we wen't to diferent universities and I had to move to another city.
The problem is that we were seeing each other everyday for almost 1 year, and started to visit each other just once a month and talk on skype three times a week, causing a huge void in our lives.
Right now her life is a mess, and she really need someone that is going to be with her no mather what happens, so do I.
-What do you suggest to me to confort her? I really dont know what to say, because I fell the same way as she does.
-What can I do to make this distance between us less hurtful?
-Does anybody knows some way to avoid that our relationship becames cold and sad?
I know that I'm asking too much, and our relationship will change, but I really love her and would give up everything to be with her. Thanks for your time
TL;DR: | I had to move and my relationship is hurtful to me and her. How can I make it better for both of us? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I (M30) Find that My Disposition Lately is Very Affected by My Interaction with Women. Should I Seek Therapy?
POST: As a single guy, I've recently found my mood to really be affected by interactions I have with women. When I'm pursuing someone I'm really interested in and she reciprocates in some way, I feel invincible, like I'm on top of the world. But when even the most trivial things like the subject of my affection doesn't call me back in a timely manner or anything happens to suggest that feelings aren't mutual, I become really internally depressed. It's mostly temporary, but it can really affect the rest of my day. Outwardly, I'm really good at keeping my composure and self-control. No one would assume how affected I am.
I should mention that I feel that I'm really socially adjusted and have had many great, meaningful and fulfilling relationships in the past. I can be considered to be really successful professionally, I take really good care of myself physically, and have a great network of friends. It's just this one aspect of my life that I wish I had a better handle on. Is this something I should seek therapy for? Is there some way I can help myself without therapy? I'm open to all suggestions. Thanks in advance!
TL;DR: | My disposition is greatly affected by how my interactions with women I'm interested in and it bothers me. What can I do to improve this aspect of myself? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by saying Nee-chan
POST: Hi reddit! I am typing this off my phone so forgive me already.
The fuck up happened yesterday but it isnt 24 hours since it happened.. It was my NFLAT exam yesterday..I had just been informed of it yesterday before. Some genius decided to invite a 12th grader science student and put him in a commerce assessment .. basically a huge survey if you know what I mean..
I reached there 1 and a half hour before I planned to, everything goes well, I was the first to reach there ... our school's representative shows up with some other students whom I dont know, maybe 12 graders.. So they were chatting among themselves , and then there was me , trying to find a good group to eavesdrop to... I finally found on and they were talking about Naruto.. Eureka I think!
I move close to them, they were trying to remember the correct word that sasuke from Naruto calls his brother when he was young.. someone said nee-san and others began to argue about it that it wasnt nee-san.. Unfortunately for me, I remembered it as nee-chan ...
My FU: Out of nowhere, from the depths of my introverted mind, the sudden urge to correct them was very high...As I try to stop myself , battling my subconscious, I blurt it out while trying to say it in a low tone but my subconscious makes into a higher decibel value..precisely hitting the awkward point between sheer loudness and pin drop silence.... They all look at me like * insert girls with red cups at party staring at you like dafuq meme *
This spread like wildfire in my school today as I have become the nee-chan guy...
TL;DR: | Tried to correct a bunch of random guys from school on their knowledge of anime while hitting the pinnacle of awkwardness |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [58,M] my wife with bipolar disorder [53,F] I had an affair, should I accept all culpability?
POST: Yes, I had an affair. She found out and I put an end to it. I was in the process of trying to find a way to do that anyway. I knew the hurt that I was causing, the devastation to not only my marriage but also to my family. My kids are all grown, my youngest, 23 yo son still lives at home.
I'm aware that I, like many blame the spouse for this. And again I, like many who feel that they're theirs was unique and think that while I accept to be held accountable I can't help but feel I can't accept all the blame.
My marriage has been a dead bedroom off and on for close to 20 years. She has bipolar disorder and I've been concerned about her drinking as of late. I know that her actions and conversations are the result of her illness but can't help but feel she's being abusive and borderline cruel. I quit talking to her long ago to keep from being misinterpreted, berated and disrespected.
I know that it's her illness that causes her actions and conversations but still feel that it's abusive at times and feel the effects of emotional abuse.
She is taking her meds but the alcohol tends to diminish if not completely negate them.
She has been violent on occasion though not often. Her latest was throwing her phone, hitting me in the face a couple days ago. She said it was by accident, she didn't mean to hit me but throw her phone on the bed. And truthfully, I do believe her knowing how bad of a throw she is.
I was in a very dark place. Sometimes I feel like I'm still there. I get very depressed just thinking about living with her. I don't know what to do.
We both are talking about working it out and I'm willing to do almost whatever it takes. But is it too much of me to ask for her to work on things too?
TL;DR: | I had an affair on my wife with bipolar disorder and possibly alcoholism, should I bare the brunt of everything wrong in our marriage? What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/travel
TITLE: United Airlines: Paid $400 to reschedule my flight, Rescheduled flight was delayed 6 hours and then cancelled. Am I entitled to a refund?
POST: Hi there. My fiance and I recently flew United from LAX to O'Hare and back for the holidays. During our visit, I had to reschedule our return flight due to a pretty terrible dog bite to my face :( (I'm doing much better now!) I went ahead and paid the $400 to reschedule for a week later.
We get to the airport to find that they delayed our flight because they swapped our plane with an international plane. (45mins) Then, once we boarded, we were stuck on the runway for numerous delays. Finally, our plane started to taxi to find out there was a maintenance issue that required us to return to the gate. Once there, they fixed the problem, then found another issue. At this point, we had been on the plane for about 4 hours when they told us we had to get off and go back to the gate.
Once at the gate, we were told to go to a different gate as they were preparing a different plane for us. Soon after, we were told this plane was also cancelled and we'd all have to reschedule our flight. At this point it was about midnight, 6 hours after we were supposed to leave, and we were being shuttled off 30 mins to a hotel for a few hours to return for a 10AM flight.
While I am grateful that we actually got put in a room for the night, I still feel jipped when I paid $400 for my fiance and I to have our original return date changed only to have United reschedule on us and only put us in a hotel for a night and give up 40 bucks in food vouchers. Can I get my $400 back?
(Fiance has been on their customer service phone line waiting for about half an hour so far, so I decided to turn to reddit in the meantime!)
TL;DR: | Rescheduled flight and paid $400. New flight was delayed, then cancelled and reschedule for next day. Can I get my $400 refunded? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [22F] sister [18F] is prioritising trying to repair her relationship with her boyfriend [18M] over her baby, and this has caused huge arguments in the family.
POST: My [22F] sister [18F] has recently ended her relationship with her boyfriend [18M] of four years. They have a baby together. Since he initially ended the relationship, they got back together and then he kissed another girl so she ended their relationship, then he begged her to get back together and she resisted but when she eventually succumbed he decided he didn't want to be with her. My mother [40F] whom my sister and the baby lives with intervened and told them bog that they needed a period of separation so that they could both decide what they wanted and prioritise their daughter. In response to this my sister started lying to my mother, sneaking out to see her boyfriend and they've since resumed their relationship, but she is still lying to my mother about it, despite my mother knowing that they're back together. As well as this, my sister is showing far more interest in her boyfriend than in being a mother to her baby, for example, she takes the baby to her boyfriends mothers home where there is a known paedophile living, a lot of drug use in front of the children and just generally is an unsafe place for children .
As well as this its worth noting that I'm a social worker. It's reached a point where my mother and my sister aren't talking because my sisters response to my mother calling her a liar was to say that she's overbearing, which my mother has taken very personally, and she's refusing to tell my sister what to do anymore, by has told her that if she takes the baby to her boyfriends mothers house she's going to call social services.
I don't know how to help repair the situation and explain to my sister that she needs to start prioritising her baby above repairing her relationship, without coming across as being all "social worker" rather than just trying to be supportive.
TL;DR: | my sister keeps taking her baby to her boyfriends house which is an extremely unsafe environment and my mum has threatened to call social services. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [18/m] I don't know what to do with my girlfriend (18/f)
POST: So as a teen I got into a relationship headfirst. Its my first relationship and I think I'm not handling it well. We met in a course so we don't really see each other. We got along well in texting, she seemed okay so when she confessed I just went along with her into a relationship. And now I'm starting to think its the wrong move.
She complains excessively and seems to expect me to be at her beck and call. She goes "omg i cried" and "wth today was a bad day". The first few times I tried to comfort her but (I forgot exactly why) now I'm feeling really tired of her. She starts spamming my phone when I don't reply and says things like "why dont you replyyyy I'm so sadddd :(". Furthermore she complains about headaches "helpp my head hurts alottttt :(" and other uncomfortables. Then she says how she does not need medicine and that she only needs me.
The things she talks about are also weird and now without the course it seems that we don't have much in common anymore. I also do not like the way she talks and feel forced in conversations. The way she talks makes me feel annoyed and her topics seem uninteresting to me.
I started to dread seeing her messages pop up on my phone and have been dodging her. This made her up the frequency of the messages and its turning me away from her. I dropped all caring tones but have been careful in maintaining friendly and not showing her any aggression. She recently confronted me on how I'm disregarding her messages and how my replies seem very short and cold. I don't know what to do, but I did tell her to focus on her studies first.
I think that I feel her as an emotional burden and she is too obsessive. I don't have any feelings for her but I feel a duty as her boyfriend so im conflicted. I don't think I'm mature enough for this relationship but I don't dare to break it or tell how I'm feeling because I think she will get hurt. What can I do?
TL;DR: | I am tired of my girlfriend's conversation topics and way of talking. I'm starting to feel out of this relationship but I can't break it to her for fear of hurting her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: My brother [M/24] and I [M/22] talked about getting an apartment together, but I'm now second guessing it do it his lifestyle. I have some questions on how to approach this situation.
POST: My brother drinks/partys a lot, and sometimes when he gets really messed up he has really bad fits of anger. Almost every time he gets drunk he becomes somewhat narcissistic, obnoxious, and pretty rude. Now I like to party as well, but not nearly as much as he does, nor do I ever get angry/mean. In all honesty I don't really care for my brother's personality at all when he's drunk, and unfortunately I think it's creeping into his sober personality more and more.
He's had an apartment with one of our good friends, and it didn't go so well. He trashed it a few times, had people over to drink like every other day, etc. If I remember correctly they got evicted because of all the problems.
I want nothing to do with that stuff. I'm pretty introverted, so I wouldn't want people over everyday. Close friends are cool but I definitely need some "me" time to recharge. And due to health issues/personal lifestyle, I would not be partying that much.
**Would it even be worth it for me to voice my concerns with him before I move into an apartment with him?** I'd most likely let him know that if he pulls the stuff that he has before that I wouldn't stay.
He's a good dude at heart. We're into a bunch of the same things, have tons of friends together, have great times, etc. I know he's capable of being a good roommate because we share a lot of the good traits, and I'd love to get an apartment with my own brother but I don't want to take a big plunge into something I'm not certain of.
*****
With all that being said, I have another good friend who wants to get an apartment with me. He's an overall great dude, and he's one of the very few people I actually look up to. However, I would feel bad about leaving my brother behind.
TL;DR: | Have a brother who likes to party, gets really angry when drunk, has a lot of friends over. I'm introverted and don't party constantly. Can't decide if it's hopeless getting an apartment with him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: To be or not to be? Me [27m] and my ex[23f] made up and made out.
POST: So me and my ex of 2 years met up over the weekend. She came over to pick up her stuff after about 2 months of not seeing each other. I had been on a business trip all week. I admit, I was stalking her on facebook. She looked prettier than ever. And looked like she was having a good time. It made me feel quite lonely. Especially considering I was in a hotel room, with nothing to do, and no one to talk to. She sent me a text when I was on my way home asking me if it was ok for her to pass by. How could I say no?
So she came over Friday night. We talked, made up, and made out. Since then, my mind has been occupied with whether or not I should give it another chance. I broke up with her because we simply fought too much. I was constantly on edge when I talked to her. And I was always one wrong comment away from sending her on a tantrum. It got too stressful at one point so I cut it off.
I don't know if its loneliness, jealousy, or just that I genuinely still care about her, but I've been entertaining the idea of giving it another shot. I know there will still be some things i dont like about the relationship. LIKE HER FRIENDS. (She has one friend in particular she's known since childhood. They're super close. but she's an idiot. she caught her bf sleeping with another girl, in the act! but is still with him. and sadly, she's the one chirping relationship advice into my ex's ear). But i dont know. Is there such a thing as the perfect package? or should i give it another shot?
Any thoughts?
TL;DR: | i made out with my ex after 8 weeks of being apart. now i'm confused and dont know whether to give it another shot. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: 19 and pregnant and don't want it.
POST: (sorry but this is a throwaway account)
I am 19f and my boyfriend is 23. We met almost 2 years ago through a friend. Everything had been going great until I found out that i was pregnant last week. When I told my boyfriend that I was pregnant I was expecting him to encourage me to have an abortion, which is what I am wanting but didn't feel right about just doing it and not telling him first. The reaction I got was the complete opposite. He is happy about it and was mad that I would want to abort it. I'm not ready to be a mother. I have just started college and I really want to finish it and start a career before having a family. This is his last year of college, he has a college job but nothing yet for afterwords. I really think this is a bad time for either of us to start a family.
Is it wrong for me to still want an abortion even though he wants the child. I know that most likely it will mean the end or our relationship if I go through with it. Need advice/help. (please if you are just going to say that "if your not ready to have kids, then you shouldn't have sex" don't bother to reply. Its not helpful and I have heard it already)
TL;DR: | 19f, pregnant and want an abortion, 23boyfriend wants to keep it. Am I a bitch for still wanting to get rid of it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: I overdrafted this morning, and have many pending payments remaining. I need help.
POST: (made a new acct for this)
This has been coming for quite a while. I was never good at organizing my finances. I suppose there was never a reason to organize them since I got by fine anyway. A year ago I left my software job to "try something else", had about 30k saved up, and then burned through all of it without a care in the world. The problem now is that I'm completely out, and have $600/mo student loan payments, 2.5k in CC debt, auto insurance payments, other things minor things, and *no income*. I almost feel too numb to freak out, but I can tell you I'm not feeling great about it. And it hurts to know that it's really all my fault.
I've been applying for jobs in the past few months, but only half-heartedly. I've certainly stepped it up but each lead will probably take at least a month to resolve. Honestly right now I don't know what to do. I know I need some sort of income, anything. There's just so much stress from this situation that I feel my decision making abilities are clouded. It's pretty damn hard to see through the fog. I know how to code and I can write also, but I just don't know how to monetize these without a job. Again, that fog is really blocking my vision.
If anybody can lend some advice, I would wholeheartedly appreciate it. I'm overall optimistic about my future since I've feel like I've grown so much this past year. The only problem is that the current financial stress is absolutely killing me. I wish I had cultivated some good habits starting last year, but it's not last year now. What can I do? How can I get out of the red?
TL;DR: | Poorly managed savings, now broke w/o income and massive debt. All my fault. Have skills. What can I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21M] with my "friend" [19F] was emotionally distraught when I told her that I began talking to one of my crushes.
POST: Being that it's a really long complicate situation, I'll talk about only the important points.
We were talking all during summer and had casual sex everyday. Now that school has started we don't spend time together, therefore, she decided that it'd be best for to just stay friend--most likely so that she can hook up with her ex of 3 years whom she had been "friends" with the entire we were talking. They would hang out over the summer while she was talking to me. But now that that is over, it is only logical to presume she had sex considering she lives closed to him and that she said to me that she needs sex so if we're not having it she'll end it and find it somewhere.
Fast-foward now, I was just recovering from her ending this then yesterday happened. We went to eat, we're talking about stuff then she said she hasn't gotten over me and still had feelings for me. I told her the same, I'm not over her, etc. But she noticed by medium of Snapchat that I've been snpactting someone very often, she's the first then the person is second. She asked about, now that we're just friends I thought it'd okay to tell her that, I met up with a crush and been hanging out with her.
She emotionally flipped out. She started tearing up, she wanted to get up and leave the restaurant. I convinced her to stay because it made no sense as why she was acting like this. I asked her what's wrong, she said she doesn't want to talk about it with the person who caused. That hurt me a lot because I don't understand how I caused pain on someone who ended things with me. Even if she still had feelings and she was hurt by all of this and maybe feels jealous and alone, but that's exactly how I felt when she ended things with me first. So I am at a lost as to how she thinks I'm the bad guy here...
If you want clarification because I understand there's a lot of information that might missing, just ask.
TL;DR: | Girl I have been talking to for 5 months ended things and we stayed friends, I told her that I was hanging out with a crush and she emotionally flipped on me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [27 M] with my girlfriend [26 F] duration 6 months, irritating issue about her ex-boyfriend
POST: We met through a mutual friend six months. Great conversations, great chemistry and we are both very adventurous. I come to learn in the initial months that one of her 'ex'es is also part of her friends circle, and that she discusses with him everything about her life apparently. I was not very cool with it in the beginning, but did not want to be controlling and all, so let things be. I believed that she would eventually make her own decisions.
A few weeks ago, we had this kinky thing in bed and we both enjoyed it. And I discovered in the following week that she had actually explained to him the entire episode over the phone and they had a laugh about it. I got very pissed and I am trying to get over this in my head. I don´t know what to think of this. When I confronted her with my feelings, she said they had only a very short relationship and she does not consider him as an 'ex' at all and more of a friend.
Is it normal to discuss everything you do in bed with your 'best friends' especially when you are in a commited relationship? And in this case, this best friend being her ex-boyfriend. An additional reason that I am not a fan of this is because I learnt that this guy is someone who is pretty morally loose when it comes to his relationships in general.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend is sharing our sex life with her ex-bf on the phone as if it is normal. I am very disturbed! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I [20/m] cheated on my girlfriend [20/f] of 2 years unintentionally, should I tell her?
POST: I was at a party with friends, my girlfriend left early. I was staying the night at the friends place. During the night, I was lying next to my best friend (she was my girlfriends best friend and is now my best friend as well), lights were off, we both were just next to each other and I don't know how or why it happened, but we both just kissed and then we continued kissing for a bit.
If I tell my girlfriend, she will be heart broken, she will lose her best friend and her boyfriend at the same time. Her past relationship ended because the guy was cheating on her, but that was serious cheating. So I really don't know what to do. I know I can not tell her right now, because her finals are going on, and she is super tensed for them, so I can not put her through this right now. But if I don't tell her right now, it will be very late.
She is an emotional person. I know this will break her heart if I tell her. But if I don't it will keep on bothering me. And I know she will most probably stop talking to the both of us and will hate us. I really love her, I do and I have no idea why this happened, but it did. And now I don't know what to do.
We both are the kind of people who think cheating is the worse thing one can do in a relationship, and now I am one of those people now.
Please tell me what to do?
TL;DR: | Kissed my girlfriends and my best friend (it just happened, never wanted to cheat on her), should I come clean or should I keep it from her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: She (18/F) seems kinda distant and I (18/M) have no idea what to do...
POST: So we've known each other for a few years and we officially hooked up on New Years. It started out pretty good, but lately it kinda seems like she is really flaky with plans or getting back to me. We barely talk. This is my second relationship technically, but really it's more a first.
My "first" one lasted about 2 months and we pretty much only texted. She was pretty depressed and had personal issues, and I was always trying to cheer her up or boost her confidence. She was really attached and would text me from the time I got up till I went to bed, and combined with her sleep schedule it really only left like 6-7 hours of rest.
Anyways, back to the current one. I've been trying hard to avoid seeming needy or clingy. It's goin alright, but I also worry that I may seem too distant or hesitant. I mean, I'm certainly pretty cautious about what to do and not do because it's like my first real relationship, I like her a lot, and I had a shitty experience with my last relationship. I don't know, she just seems really cold to when I try and chat her up, and has flaked out on my various attempts to see her. Usually it's because she just doesn't respond.
I know she's a pretty busy person and does a lot of stuff, so it's not like I'm expecting instant replies or daylong conversations. At the same time, we both have iphones so it tells me when she sees a message and a lot of the time they are seemingly ignored. I try to avoid sending texts that kill the conversation, but even questions or me trying to plan stuff together go ignored. I don't use facebook all that much by any means, and I don't stalk on it, but I can't help but notice her posting or commenting on stuff while she's seemingly ignoring me. I'm trying to just keep calm and rational about it, but i can't help but feel like I'm not really that important in her eyes.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend seems kinda distant and flaky and seemingly ignores me a lot of the time and I have no clue what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Dogtraining
TITLE: Help with dog who is scared(?) to play with other dogs
POST: So, our 4 year old Border Collie (Cassie) is great. We've had her with other dogs with no problem. However, if she is with a dog who likes to play (e.g. jumping, nipping, you know that typical dogs running and jumping playing around) she totally freaks out. She appears very scared, tries to hide, and will ultimately nip the dog. She hasn't broke skin on another dog but has nipped hard enough to cause a yelp.
This is a problem when we're out and about. If another dog approaches I'm always a little nervous that the dog will try and jump and play with her.
This is a MAJOR problem when we visit my father. He has a 1 year lab. The lab, Roxy, is absolutely determined to play with our dog. Out of frustration of the hard headed lab not listening to us, we decided to just let our dog teach Roxy she didn't want to play. Our dog nipped Roxy two times. Both times Roxy yelped, jumped back in surprise, then went back to attempting to play with our dog. Now it would be very nice if Roxy would just "get it" and stop trying to play with our dog.
But I was wondering, is there a way to teach our dog that it's ok to play with dogs by jumping and running around? It's frustrating to visit my father to say the least, and the fact that I'm always nervous when another dog approaches my dog often makes fun beach trips a nerve wracking experience.
TL;DR: | dog freaks out when another dog tries to jump/play with her--any way I can teach her how to play and that this behavior shouldn't be perceived as threatening, but rather as fun time? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Is there something there with me (21M) and her (22F) or are we just close friends?
POST: So a little over a year ago I met this girl in college, and we had a lot in common. At first I just wanted a friendship since I was stuck in that class for 3 hours twice a week, but after a while I think I kind of fell for her. I had asked her out, but at the time she had a boyfriend. I accepted it, and we continued to be friends.
Jump to present time, and she is now single. We've been hanging out more often, and meeting up every other week or so when we're not busy with classes or work.
There's a lot of things for and against so I'm not sure how to read it. Although we meet up a lot, I've never picked her up at her house. We do live 30 minutes apart though so it is more convenient.
Although it's just us together, there isn't any real physical contact between us other than a hug. Then again neither of us are really the touchy type so hugging shows at least some level of trust and closeness between us.
We don't talk about other people we might be interested in, but she also didn't tell me about her boyfriend until after I had asked her out.
There's more things like that and maybe I'm looking too much into it, but is there something there or are we just close friends?
TL;DR: | We've been hanging out a lot together, but I'm not sure how to interpret it... is there something there? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Dogtraining
TITLE: Struggling with barking/quiet training
POST: Okay, I'm not sure if I'm doing something wrong, or haven't given it time, or am just frustrated and overwhelmed by the whole thing. Well, I know I'm frustrated and overwhelmed.
After reading posts here, I've been attempting to teach our two dogs a "quiet" cue. One is a coonhound, the other is some sort of hound mix, and they're both terrible with outside noises. People walking past with or without dogs, large trucks, and the mailman. Going ballistic, baying, the whole nine yards. The mailman is the worst. I work from home so I get to hear it daily and it affects my ability to get anything done (besides that I don't want to annoy the neighbors or have anxious dogs). We've been trying to manage with bark collars but I realize now that that's lazy and unfair to them.
I've been trying to teach the "quiet" cue by treating when they're calm and the coonhound seems to have mostly picked it up. She barks, I call her name and tell her "quiet," she comes running for a cookie, and she settles down. Even works during mailman time. The hound mix seems to know that "quiet" means "stop and get a cookie" and it works any time but mailman time. Mailman time (which is 30-45 minutes) is a horror show. I can't even get her attention by calling her name, never mind using any commands.
I really am not sure what to do at this point. Do I stick with the "quiet" cue and hope she decides to care? Do I try to acknowledge her barking so she thinks she's done her job? Do I try to counter condition when it's mailman time? I honestly feel stupid just posting this but I get so frustrated. She's my SO's dog and is 10, and he really never trained her properly so I'm always worried that this stuff can't be undone and I get stuck doing it. Sigh.
TL;DR: | Dog not giving a shit about "quiet" when it's mailman time, do I just pray it gets better and keep on, or change tactics? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [18/M]. Where to draw the line between friendship and relationship with her [20/F]?
POST: So since 6 months I started living on campus of the university where I started studying. I joined some organisations and clubs, one of which where I met her. I kind of mixed in with some other people and we became a group of friends. After a while I started to notice her- and vice versa too.
I didn't notice however, since I am pretty bad at social stuff- before I came to uni I was quite socially isolated and mildly depressed, though that has been changing rapidly since then (I am doing great now).
She asked me for prom (which is customary here during leap years), and after prom we went on two dates, where we had some physical contact (cuddling/ a bit of holding hands, no kissing though). We also spent some unplanned time together now and then.
Now this is for us both the first time we ever experience something romantic of a kind. We're taking it slow. However, I am terribly unsure of my feelings for her. I definitely feel lust/physical attraction, but where before she asked me to prom I remember butterflies in my stomach quite vividly to the point where I couldn't sleep, since we started dating they only sometimes show up.
Our conversations also fall quiet at times, but that's ok with me. I'm not always in the mood to talk too much with people.
I definitely enjoy being around her and spending time with her.
However, I am not sure how I will find out. After spending all this time together already I'm still not really sure what I want. I also don't have much experience with friendships- so it's fairly complicated for me to figure out emotionally what I want and need. How to proceed?
TL;DR: | 20/F and me are both interested in eachother. I don't really know what I want out of our relationship and whether I what I feel/value is friendship or a relationship. How to proceed? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (28m) gf (28f) of 2 years is trying to lose weight and is extremely unhappy?
POST: When we met, she was overweight and recovering from a long-term eating disorder. Her measurements when we met were around 48-30-48 at 5 feet tall. I know this only because I took her measurements to make a dress for her.
Things got rough for a while and she gained about 20lbs to end at around 190lbs. I think that she carries her weight extremely well. I've always thought this. I've always thought she was absolutely gorgeous too.
Lately she has been on this stint of tracking calories, restricting, exercising a lot more. She says she wants to lose 50lbs, possibly more. She is determined to lose 30lbs by the end of the year.
The problem is, she is the crankiest, moodiest, sleepiest person now. She has no interest in anything involving sex -- and she used to be the HL between us. She suffers constant headaches, sore muscles, she's always annoyed at me, etc. She is always sad and on the verge of tears.
I've brought up her cranky moods lately and she will tell me that she's "just tired" or "just hungry" and it'll go away. She falls asleep at 9pm rather than around midnight, sleeps right through until she gets up for the gym.
I am confused because usually losing weight, exercising, eating better, etc, are things that people say make them happier, healthier, and have more energy. She just seems absolutely miserable and sad, and her low self esteen seems to be crowding her vision.
TL;DR: | Overweight girlfriend is dieting and is unhappier than ever. I always thought people said dieting made them happier, feel better, etc. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: 24/M dealing with an ex coming back. Need advice
POST: Sorry if it's long before hand.
So me and this girl dated for about 2.5 years. Went to same university and live very close back home too. I would say we had a great relationship (at school) during breaks I often took advantage of this time for many internships and work up to 60+ hrs a week. She did not like how I would disappear but I tried very hard to make her happy. I would say 3 months before we broke up she started getting really friendly with one of her friends who was another female. I felt uncomfortable with the way they were but never said anything. She ends up breaking it off with me and shortly after ends up with her "friend". The following months sucked as you can imagine between her trying to hide it and us going to a small school everyone always telling me things, but I tried to focus on me and meet new people. That was a year ago. Last month was the first time I have heard from her since the end of last summer. She said she was confused and still is but this year did not go how she had planned and that many people avoided her. She also said she had told her parents and they were very against the idea of her being with a girl. We starting texting and hanging out again because I still care and would rather be there for her than something happen. I would like to be with her but don't know how to go about anything. She says that she is not with the girl anymore but is best friends with her. Naturally I am against it and we constantly argue about them hanging out. I left the University last semester and have recently found a house. She comes and hangs out but has never stayed has told me she is unsure if she can be with a guy again. I was her first (ever) she was her first (girl). She is also worried about it becoming much like it did over breaks at school. How can I become ok with them being friends when the other girl numerously over stepped lines before? Or more generally what should I do reddit?
TL;DR: | Ex of 2.5 left me for a girl and hasn't spoken to me in a yr. Just recently coming back and idk what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My absolute best friend is marrying a horrible person. I'm [M23] he's [M23], she's [23M].
POST: I'm going to keep this short.
Ok so my friend who is insanely attractive has been together with this woman for about two years. She is the opposite of attractive... However that doesn't bother me the slightest since it's not me who needs to find her attractive.
We are a close groups of friends who hang out and we are really, really close. All the other friends have talked behind his back about her and saying that we need to talk to him about her and tell him that she isn't good enough for him. I have however told them that it's his choice to be with her and we can only alienate him by doing so.
She is horrible... They fight ALL THE TIME. She yells at him all the time, she is so incredibly annoying, forcing him to do things he doesn't want to, using up all their money when they are broke. She seems depressed around her.
Anyway he hit me with the news recently that they are engaged... And I'm panicing. Wondering if I fucked up by not talking to him like my friends wanted us to.
I don't know what to do. It's hard to explain in text but she really isn't good for him...
TL;DR: | Best friend dated this horrible gold digger ugly betty yelling fighting woman and all my friends wanted to have an intervention, we didn't, and now they are engaged |
SUBREDDIT: r/BreakUps
TITLE: The ex owes me some money. How do I deal with it?
POST: My ex (f, 20) of almost four years and I (m, 21) broke up about a month ago. She has always had trouble managing her finances and it was a factor on my side during the breakup. We do not live together.
She owes me $1600 from a vacation we took about a month before the relationship ended. She asked for my help in coming up with a (very tight) budget to get me the money before the trip began, but she lost her job a week prior and I haven't received a cent.
The breakup was mutual. Contact has been amicable but very limited since. She told me during the breakup she would return the money, and when I sent a message to her about two weeks ago asking for it as well as suggesting a payment plan, she agreed, but set no date for the first payment citing her lack of employment. She recently began attending school full-time, and works promotion at a bar on weekends making approximately $75-$100 every week or so. She has not tried very hard to land a new part-time job, even though they are plentiful where I live.
Based on past experience I do not believe she will be good for the money unless something happens soon, even though she has not been combative about it. We will likely be meeting this weekend for closure. One friend has suggested writing up a contract and giving it to her then, while another believes she might be happier making a small payment in good faith to confirm her intentions. I am moving into a condo this summer and would like the money repaid, but am not desperate for it. I realize it would probably be classiest to write it off as a sunk cost, and I have not made plans for the money, however I am greedy and want it back.
What would be the best way to show her I'm serious about repayment without becoming offensive about it? Is it possible to write a short contract that might actually have legal use? I live in Canada.
TL;DR: | Recent ex owes me $1600 and I want it back. She agreed to pay but she is probably not good for it. Advice? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I am a truant High School student, but was unfairly put here.
POST: I say I was unfairly put in this situation because I have been forced to be here by the school for the last quarter. I suffer from manic depression and anxiety, and I can barely get myself to wake up in the morning. You might say "Why didn't you just go to a doctor and get help". I have been to the doctor, but I am unable to be prescribed medicine until July. We have informed the school of these problems, and how we are trying to get help and we were hoping to be able to finish off the year home schooling/online school. I have missed very many days this year, and it is my fault, but I have a lot of problems going on in my life, I don't wish to make public, and I have also told them that. They claimed there was nothing they could do for me and I just had to finish up the school year and that they couldn't help me at all. So over this quarter I have been struggling, because I have hidden my problems for so long and it all led up to now where I have informed my mom and she is trying to help me through this. Today I was informed my liaison officer is going to be issuing a truancy ticket from the county. Even after all I have tried to do, I have been getting help, and I tried to finish up my schooling elsewhere I get fined for it. I know its my fault I missed so many days, but its difficult for me. What am I to do? I don't want you guys to feel bad for me or anything I just need advice on what I can do to change this situation or drop the fine, if there is a way. Any advice helps.
TL;DR: | I suffer from manic depression and anxiety, the school couldn't help me and issued me a truancy ticket even though i can't get help until july. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (19m) don't know what to do.
POST: So I'm inexperienced when it comes to dating and I'm 19. 20 in about a month. But I recently met a girl(25) where I work. She was a customer and I'm a waiter. But I thought she was the same age as me but should 6 yrs make a difference?
And I like her but I don't know if she likes me or what to do.
It seemed like she was flirting with me but I can't tell if it was that or just being playful since she is so charismatic. Now, I'm a really shy person with low self confidence so I don't talk much.
We spoke and she was really nice and outgoing. She stayed until my shift was done and we just talked at the bar.
When I was leaving she walked with me to my car. She didn't have one so I offered her a ride home and I didn't scratch that couldn't say a word. When we arrived at her apartment she hugged me and I just stood there didn't touch her or say anything cuz I'm inexperienced and nervous. And I went home.
TL;DR: | Met a girl. I'm inexperienced and nervous .she's 25 I'm 19 but she's awesome. How do I ask her out? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me 26M how to pick yourself up after you strike out a bunch
POST: Lately I've been striking out a ton with women. I go through spurts where I get a lot of dates and things go well. It's still hard to meet people because that's just how it is after college, but it doesn't feel impossible. But lately I've been having a really terrible time.
I think the past twenty people or so that I've started talking to have rejected pretty cold. A few people I've been set up on dates with by friends have flaked last minute or not shown up. A bunch of people I've gone on first dates with followed by never hearing from them again. A bunch of other people I've met online (Tinder/OkCupid/whatever) and they seem awesome and they totally disappear.
Basically, right now getting anything with anyone I think is cute feels like pulling teeth. It seems like every door I see closes immediately as I walk up to it.
I've taken breaks for a while, and that's alright, but in the past, it leads to me being very single for long stretches of time: because if I don't make any moves to meet women they don't come to me naturally.
Basically, I'm trying to figure out what to do. I know everything I'm experiencing is par for the course: it's easier for women to delete your number and forget you exist than to tell you they're not interested. But it leaves me wishing I were more attractive, had a better job, etc...
Not really sure what to do to improve my situation. Kind of starting to feel like I'll never meet someone I'm mutually attracted to that wants to get past all that dating awkwardness and just be normal with.
TL;DR: | feeling pretty burned out on dating because I've had tons of flakes in a row these past few months. A little sexually frustrated, a little self-doubting, a little not sure what I'm doing wrong. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: So what do i do about this horrible thing I did? (x/post from r/askreddit)
POST: Evening Reddit, confused man here. I need some assistance. I have been having some internal struggles with my current relationship over the past few months, basically amounting to being really unsure about how I feel about my girlfriend (of 3yrs) and whether or not I should stick with her or move out. We are both 23, and I feel like we are moving in opposite directions. It has recently felt as though she is just my best friend, and I am staying in order to not hurt her. She is a great woman and, like I said, my best friend, but I just don't know if I crave her the way I should.
Over the weekend, I stayed at my friend's place after a party and shared a room with one of my best friends, with whom there has been a latent sexual tension since we met about 5 years ago. It came to a weird culmination when we had some very passionate making out, basically saying stop it to each other, but not being to stop at all until we fell asleep around 6 am. We were pretty drunk. Said we loved each other. Did not have sex (the only positive thing I can take from the experience). We slept together, though. I have told no one about this and the weight of guilt has just been dragging me down. I have never done anything like this and do not know how I should feel.
I guess what i'm asking is this: what does something as selfish and awful as this mean? What should I be feeling? What should I do? I have considered going to therapy for it, but I feel like that would be a little self-indulgent. Anything would help. I just feel like a shit for all this.
TL;DR: | Dating girlfriend for three years. Having doubts for a few months. Got drunk, made out and got touchy with a really good friend. I have never done anything like this before. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [28f] husbands [29m] sucks at saving money for birthdays or holidays and Im always stuck footing the bill.
POST: We have recently married but have had a joint checking account for some time now. I make about 15k-20k more a year then he does. He works full time and is a full time student.
When he is paid a small amount goes in our daughters saving account, an even smaller amount goes in to his checking account and the rest into our joint account for bills, groceries, restaurants etc. When I am paid about as much as 40% of my check is put into savings then a small amount into our daughters savings and the rest into our joint checking account. Our wedding was paid in part with his large tax returns because he claimed our child, my savings and help from my uncle. We are currently in the process of buying a car and are putting a lot for the down payment which is, of course, coming from my savings
An event for a relative's birthday is coming up in few weeks and we are going to be spending a few hundred dollars we havent discussed where the money is coming from but its either my savings or his credit card. While my husband doesnt really have much more to put away in savings but Im sort of struggling with the fact that special events such as vacations or gifts for others on their birthdays even if they arent my family or friends the money are coming out of my savings or sometimes our joint account. He never saves for my birthday or really plans something for that matter but last minute he just ends up using his credit card that we use our joint account to pay for. The way I look at it is these birthdays and holidays always come around at the same time and he could afford to put away a small amount each week to be able to have something.
I havent said anything about my frustrations because he is working hard (ish) in school, works fulltime and does alot in regards to taking care of our daughter and our home so I dont want to add more stressors but I do want him to do something about it. Am i just being greedy or is it right for me to expect his to get his own savings together?
TL;DR: | husband is a ft employee, ft student and parent doesn't have his own savings account so Im footing the bill for his relative's birthday party and other special purchases out of my savings |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My married friend [28 F] keeps asking my husband[33 M] for help with odd jobs, etc. and I am afraid my husband is tired of it. Need help telling her no!
POST: I (28/F) have a friend (semi-acquaintance, we have known each other for about a year and hang out about once a month or so) who is married. About the time that I met this couple, they had just bought a house and were updating it/making repairs. My friend's husband, in all honesty, kinda sucks. He never helps her with these home projects, drinks and plays video games all day, etc. I truly feel bad for her at times.
My husband on the other hand, is extremely helpful and handy. When this girl and I first started becoming close, I would ask my husband to help with many projects at her new house. He obliged without complaint and we actually had a lot of fun helping her out at times.
Fast forward to now, this girl and I no longer see each other very often, however I do like having her as a friend and enjoy seeing her, even if it is less often. I do not want to hurt our friendship, but I am sensing that my husband has reached his limit with her little projects. She texted me last night and asked if my husband could come help her mount all their TVs in their house on the walls sometime this weekend. Should be pretty easy, not a big deal, except that my husband is currently working on a huge rent house project and has so much work to do that he is struggling to get it all done (this is another story!) and he doesn't want to help her this time. He feels as though this is a simple enough task that her husband should be able to take care of it and I believe he might be feeling taken advantage of. I agreed with him and do not want to push him to take on this extra project at all, I understand where he is coming from!
SO, how do I tell my friend no, that my husband cannot help her with this, in a way that will not hurt our friendship?
TL;DR: | Friend might be taking advantage of my handyman husband and he is tired of it. How can I tell her no and still remain friends? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: (Update) I (15F) had sex with my brother's best friend (19M) and am now (predictably) confused
POST: Link to the first post
First I just want to say thank you to everyone who read through an commented on my last post, it gave me a lot to think about.
Secondly, he and I just had a long conversation - one that I admittedly wasn't expecting - about the two of us. He basically said that he has strong feelings for me and that I'm exactly what he's looking for in a girl.
That's when I had to pull in what everyone was commenting and he
agreed. We can't try to start a relationship right now. It wouldn't end happily. So we agreed that we'll make the most of these next 17 days and then see what happens later.
I'd be lying if I said that it didn't hurt like hell, but I know that in the long run I'll be happier. I'm gonna miss him a lot, too, but he's got his own life to live and we'll be much better as friends.
Thanks again to everyone who gave advice and helped me out. I probably would've tried to start something with him had I not thought about it enough.
TL;DR: | Talked to him and told him a relationship is bad right now. Maybe in the future - if we're lucky - there can be an us. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: What do you consider cheating?
POST: So I pretty much know what needs to happen, not sure why I haven't already. But, anyways, I need outside opinions to prove I'm not crazy.
I'm Ted(37m) and have a gf Josie(32). We have been together for just under a year and have been living together all along. We have a good relationship and I truly believe we love each other. But there is a huge issue that has always caused strain.
She is always texting or messaging guys who she knows or is friends with and at some point had sex with. Now these conversations are generally all the same. They consist of them planning on how and where to meet and of course all the details of what they intend on happening. On occasion I even get brought into it when she will say oh I'll just tell him I'm going here or I'm going there.
Again, she knows all these people, has had sex with them before, and could run into them anywhere at any time. Its not like she's role playing with strangers.
All that being said, as you can imagine this angers and hurts me deeply. She swears up and down that she hasn't ever done anything and that "it's all just words" and actually get mad at me for being upset.
Now I'm not an idiot, as I said I know what needs to happen, but her and a small circle of friends have me almost believing that I'm just a jealous asshole and shouldn't be upset over this so I'm just seeking others opinions.
Am I wrong for getting upset that she does this? Am I wrong for thinking that this is just the same as if she would actually meet up? What the duck caused a person to think this is normal and ok to do?
Thanks for your opinions!
TL;DR: | Is what my gf Is doing cheating or an I just a jealous asshole Like I'm being told? I know the answer but I need others opinions? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24M] and my gf [21 F] broke up after a year and a month. She said she does not feel romantically for me anymore. She said "it's really me, not you."
POST: She saids she can only see me as a "friend" now. She said she has been looking through our pictures and she does not get the same feelings she used to get. I've also noticed the past month she stopped tagging me in instagram memes and saying good morning and all the little things. She said "As cliche as this sounds, it's not you it's me." She just does not feel romantically for me anymore.
When I first asked her to be my girlfriend I always knew we were veryyyy different people but we both thought that could be a good thing, we can compliment each other. But now, both of us realize were too different to be compatible, we both said it.
I just keep having this nagging feeling that I must've changed, I must've done something that lost her interest in me. No matter how many times she tells me it's her I feel like it's me. Did I lose my aura of masculinity? Am I not "alpha" enough? I'm getting through this breakup a lot better than I think I would(we broke up last night). But I'm wondering is there anyway I can find out what I did wrong? I don't want my future wife of 20 years to suddenly "lose romantic feelings" for me.
I think what really stuck with me was when she said she only sees me as a "friend" now. Growing up I was raised by an emotionally and verbally abusive mother and after I read No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert Glover I realized my upbringing was a big part of the reason why I was this "typical" nice guy and kept getting friend-zoned. Been getting better at not needing other people's approval, but when she called me a "friend" I can't help but to think I might be going back to my old ways.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend breaks up with me because she lost romantic feelings for me. Am I going back to my typical "nice guys finish last" ways? If it's not that what might've went wrong? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Dogtraining
TITLE: I want my dog to play with other dogs?
POST: Hi all,
My dog has some issues with other dogs. It's quite strange since she has been in a shelter most her life with dogs all around her. She was clearly not uncomfortable with dogs at the shelter when we picked her up.
We have now noticed that she suddenly does not like dogs. I'm thinking this might be because she's becoming an adult (she's 1 year old) or she has a family now and wants to protect us.
We have actually made a lot of progress as she can go on long walks and see other dogs walking across the street etc. and not get to aggressive. She will however growl (she hardly ever barks so her growl I guess is like her bark) and stop as if she wants to go over and bite the other dog if it is too close to her, off leash or any other situation apart from if it's on a leash and walking with it's owner away from her.
I really want to try and socalise her with other dogs. I think it would really benefit her to play with other dogs at the dog park etc. as she is getting a bit rough with her play with humans and starting to bite etc. it looks more like she should be doing that with another dog.
Another thread on here suggested to another owner of a dog who is biting humans to take the dog to the park and let the other dogs 'teach' it kind of, and that helped a lot. I really want to get my dog out and able to be around dogs without trying to bite their heads off.
Past experience: We went to a friend's place with their dog. She instantly growled at him. But she did let him sniff her and she sniff him. But then she kept growling and eventually tried to bite.
Has anyone got any tips on allowing my dog to be comfortable with other dogs around?? Or an experience with a similar dog?
TL;DR: | My dog doesn't like other dogs for some reason, but I would like her to be comfortable enough with them to play with them and go to dog park. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What is your most interesting/funny/awkward encounter with a famous person?
POST: I have a two that come to mind.
I was in the choir for Star War in Concert and Anthony Daniels (C3P0) was giving us a "pep talk." We all surrounded him and once he was finished he was trying to get past us so he had his arm extended to get by. I grabbed his hand and pretended he wanted to shake my hand. It didn't work at all, it was actually very awkward and his hand kind of crumbed with my grasp-- sort of like when you shake hands with someone and they have a pussy grip (except worse because he wasn't expecting it).
The other story is from when I was in Europe and Lindsay Lohan was in the same airport as us (school trip). Now, I am from a small town so you would assume we would be "star struck" but there was a general consensus that she sucked. We wouldn't have said anything but she was a total bitch and acted like she didn't want to be spotted. (She had a huge black bodyguard and was wearing sunglasses when it was dark in the airport, not to mention the huge amount of bags following her). Anyway, some people took pictures of her and this bodyguard takes out the tiniest flashlight imaginable and flashes it in our eyes. We found this extremely entertaining because he was such a huge dude and he was trying to act authoritative but the flashlight was so tiny it just looked awkward. So we proceeded to make fun of the bodyguard. Then we broke out into [this song] because it fucking sucks and she sings it. She got all pissy and stormed off. As this was happening, Fergie walked by but no one noticed because we were too busy making fun of Lindsay Lohan.
TL;DR: | Met C3P0 and attempted to shake his hand when he was clearly not reaching for mine. Met Lindsay Lohan, made fun of her, she is a bitch and has a bodyguard with a little tiny flashlight. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I really want the best outcome for both of us.
POST: I am 16 (m) and she is 14 (f). I would prefer if you would keep to yourselves coments about our young age, unless you really believe it has to do with the solution. We had a 11 month relationship until she broke up with me and asked for a frienship. I tried it, but I end begging for her to take me back all the time.
During those tries, in the last ones, she told me she doesn't love me and she doesn't want me back in any way other than a friendship. She told me she loves me, but as a friend and not in the way as she did, when we had a relationship.
I love her very much, but I see that she wouldn't be happy with me and I can't make her want to love me back if she doesn't want to. I need help on how to end this without a friendship, because I do get hurt from the constant rejection and get confused because she talks to me everyday, wants to be with me, wants to be friends, wants to keep the deepness, the same confidence, trust and care I just can't give that to her without trying to give her love in the process.
I want to do as most nicely and most respectfully end the friendship, because I think it is the best for both of us (clarify me if you think I might be wrong). I love her with all of my heart, but she only wants a friendship and I don't think I can go on with the pain. Please help me.
TL;DR: | She wants to be friends and have the exact things we had in our relationship, without feeling love and I can't handle it. I want to cut all loose ends and go along our separate ways completely. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How do I get my friend to stop being a dick to me/everyone when he's upset?
POST: I have this friend. He's my boyfriend's roommate, but we were all friends before my boyfriend and I got together. I spend the night at their house a lot, and lately it seems that I've become part of "the pack," insofar as that our friend has started treating me as shitty as he treats everyone else in the house.
Examples: Slamming doors and stomping around the house early in the morning, breaking dishes, days of silent treatment, sarcastic comments, general assholery. He passes out drunk a lot and leaves things going in the slow cooker or simmering on the stove, and yells at the whole house in the morning because either A) nobody turned it off, or B) somebody turned it off. If this was occasional I don't think anyone would mind so much, but it's almost every day. He wakes up angry and stomps around the wraparound porch at 7am...there's nothing to do out there, so presumably he's just trying to make sure he passes everyone's bedroom and wakes them up, too.
This morning I was having trouble starting my truck in the cold (it's an old truck that I haven't totally figured out yet, I literally bought it FROM HIM yesterday) and he came to my window and said in a nasty voice "Gas makes it go, sweetheart" and walked away laughing.
It ruins my fucking day to be woken up by him trying to let everyone know he's in a bad mood. He never tells anyone what's wrong. One of the women in the house is pregnant and is struggling with the added stress of him waking her up all the time.
I know it isn't my job to speak for anyone else in this situation--he's not my roommate--but I'm there a few nights a week and I'm not into being disrespected. I'm also scared of him and not sure anything will get through. I'm pretty close with his girlfriend (I introduced them) but she insists that it's between me and him and won't help me out.
TL;DR: | Friend takes almost-daily bad moods out on everyone around him with passive-aggressive bullshit, fucking sick of it, afraid to stand up to him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Asked to post this here: I[21m] won't speak to entire family because of my evil father.
POST: **Throwaway because I need advice and don't want to post from my real account**
What exactly do you do when you have a piece of shit father who's ruined your relationships with the rest of your family? He was abusive, physically and mentally, and I (like all my other siblings) overlooked it for years. What took the cake and what's made me stop talking to him permanently (going on 2 years now) was when he hit my mom, and not just a quick smack, I mean HIT HER HARD to the point of tears. After that I said FUCK HIM and left, and haven't spoken to him since.
My siblings, who are genuinely good people overall and totally unlike him, constantly forgive him [my father] for his dumb shit and I'm so sick of it! Why can't they stand up to him!?!?!?!?!?!?!? Why do they think you have to forgive someone JUST BECAUSE he's "your father", can't they see he's a fucking deranged piece of shit lunatic who will eventually kill our mother? One time he tried to hit me because I had the nerve to argue with him about politics (he's homophobic and I made the 'horrible' statement that gay people should be allowed to married and that Republicans are horrible on social issues).
Oh no no, according to the rest of the family, we're both "outspoken" and "have big egos"...when in REALITY they are just too much of pussies to stand up to him on ANYTHING! Now I don't talk to them because they constantly try to "put us 2 together". I said if he'd apologize, that is my father, then maybe, MAYBE I would forgive him. But he wont apologize (according to my family) unless we BOTH apologize. What the FUCK do i have to apologize for??????? What did I do wrong???? Sometimes their cowardice makes me sick in how they give in to his shit! Ughh, had to let that out.
TL;DR: | Am I wrong or is my family wrong for wanting me to force a relationship with my father despite his horrible and evil stubbornness and hatred? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Mind is blown, found out my step-father is a con-man.
POST: So, using Google tonight I just found out my step-father is/was a con man. I have always thought something was not right about him, that his background seemed too fantastic to be real, but I never expected to find out he was actually pretty much a total lie. I Googled him today after a conversation with my sister and found newspaper articles showing past arrests where he had fabricated a military career. He also was arrested for stealing money from a past girlfriend.
I guess I want to know what I should do. I shared the info with my husband and my siblings and we're all surprised, pissed. The extent of the deep shit he fabricated - let me just say it was an elaborate lie. I have know him almost 20 years and he's still trying to pass off the fake past to us.
For privacy I don't want to disclose any further details about it, but ...I just wanted to get some thoughts about whether I should confront him or my mother with this information. They have had the appearance of being happily married for years, but I suspect my mother is either in the dark, in denial, or worried that if she gets a divorce he would somehow do something bad like steal her retirement.
TL;DR: | My mother has been married to a man with a history of faking his ID and cheating women. Do con men change? |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: Got played after being led on for a year.
POST: So for over a year, me[18m] and my best friend [17f] have been really good friends, both were there for each other, etc etc. You know how it goes. So recently, she said she liked me a lot, and cared about me a lot, and wants me to be happy. We've talked about dating, but since my parents are totally against me dating a minor, we cant for a few more months. I told her I love her a few weeks ago but I didnt really get a really good understanding of what she was feeling after that. So since her ex still likes her, and she started liking him again, I suggested we not talk for a few days, so she could have some space. She texts me the next day saying she was cutting herself cause the guy she loved played her. This whole fucking time, she had failed to mention that she was in love with some other guy and didnt think to tell me that hey, maybe you shouldnt have feelings for me since we'll never have a relationship. I almost got into a car accident because I was so torn up over this. Part of me wants to be done with her, and part of me wants to keep trying to be good friends. Idk. Either way I barely trust her anymore. I just wouldve liked to know that I was wasting my time before I threw myself under the bus for her. She has no fuckin clue how to handle things. Maybe I could get past it if she would talk about it, or explain why she kept that from people, but no. She refuses to say anything.
TL;DR: | Female friend for a year said she wanted to date me, changed her mind after saying she was in love with another guy for the last 3 years. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Help me defend videogames to my relatives!
POST: My extended family is coming to visit for a week, starting Tuesday. The two kids are pre teens and teenagers, who, aside from oregon trail (which is surprisingly violent, dysentry isn't fun by any standards), have not owned or played any video games. Every time they visit they actively judge me and passive-aggressively taunt me for playing video games.
My hope is that you guys can help me with some good arguments for why video games aren't so bad. For reference, the games I play are mostly competitive strategy games: Starcraft 2, League of Legends, Team Fortress 2, and high-caliber story driven games: Fallout 3, Bioshock. All I can come up with is that they force me to think critically and quickly, they improve my multitasking, and they give enjoyment no different than reading a book or playing a sport.
TL;DR: | Help me argue good video games are good for me, or as good for me as most other hobbies that aren't self-destructive. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Should I [26/F] give my boyfriend [26/M] a pass on some stupid things he does because he has never been in a long-term relationship before?
POST: Here are a few examples of stuff he has done that I dislike: he recently asked his lady friends if women like giving head, he claimed his facebook profile had a virus cause he kept adding pretty/skinny college girls around 21yo, he once told me my body was nice but not 'Jennifer Aniston' nice, and he seems to talk to way more girls via text than men (7:1 ratio.) Whenever I bring up my concerns with these he seems to change his behavior and I do love him dearly/he is generally very sweet to me. So I guess my question is if he is just clueless and learning from my input should I take this into consideration since this is his first real relationship? Or is this way too messed up to fix?
TL;DR: | Clueless BF never had a real GF and I don't like some of his behavior but he adjusts with input. Should I hold out? |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Attend College now, or wait until the spring session?
POST: I'm an 18 year old male, set to attend a community college. I'm set to attend starting September 1st, but I have a dilemma. I have a 4 hour daily commute (two hours each way monday-friday) because I don't have a car and would be forced to take a combination of bussing/walking or taking a train/walking. A four hour commute would be extremely taxing on me, and I feel like I would lose motivation to do well in college because of it. What I want to do is buy myself a car (somewhere in the 5k range because I'm not rich and getting zero money from outside sources) and reduce the commute to a 1 hour drive (30 minutes there/back) and attend the college for the spring session. I currently have 3k saved up, and I'd work to be able to afford the 5k car. My family has been advising me not to do it, stating that getting my education now is worth the 4 hour commute for the next two years, but I don't feel like I could do that. What does reddit think about my situation? Also, how much would monthly insurance be? (a big worry of mine)
TL;DR: | I have a four hour commute to college. If I start working now (minimum wage) I can afford a cheap car by spring to make my commute one hour. What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I'm officially the worst fucking cook alive. Reddit, what "phases" have you gone through that ended in disaster/what have you imagined you be amazing at and end up being shit at it?
POST: After many consecutive weekends of birthdays/engagment parties/other social occasions I finally have a few weeks of nothing on. I've decided I'm not going out, I'm going to stay home, relax and learn how to cook. I have to point out my culinary skills before tonight's disaster consisted of stir fry's and potato bake but all week I have prepared and researched all different things I want to learn to cook. I figured it be a piece of cake (pardon my pun) but turns out it was more a smashed up stinky dropped on the floor poo flavored piece of cake. I am HOPELESS. All week I imagined myself as an Australian Nigella, floating around my kitchen making heavenly treats and juicy roasts for me and boyfriend.
Well let's just say not only did I manage to set the piece of meat on fire, I left the window open and little bugs got in the gravy, the potatoes were undercooked and I burnt the fuck out of my knuckles. Then proceeded to yell at my boyfriend for ruining it when he tried to take the foil off the roast (which was also on fire).
Turns out I'm a shit cook and I desperately want to learn but all my whipped cream dreams have been flattened and now I feel hungry and like a failure (and an irrational cranky girlfriend).
Reddit, please tell me what you you've always assumed you'd be really good at but ended up failing big time? Alternatively I'd like to hear about any phases you may have gone through that ended badly?
TL;DR: | I imagined myself being the epitome of female beauty cooking amazing food... Instead ended up nearly burning our house to the ground. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Want to ask out a girl in class but no idea how to go about it... Advice?
POST: Hi everyone,
There's a girl in a class I would like to ask out. For context it's a college discussion type class of about 16 people, I'm 25 and I'd say she's 21-22ish. While we don't know each other outside of class at all really, we often have conversations before class, during the mid-class break, etc. It's not much, maybe 20 minutes of talking total but from those brief conversations I know we have a lot in common and think we can work well.
There 3 problems
1) There are only two class sessions left over the next 10 days then it's done afterwhich I doubt we'd ever see each other again. So if I wanted to go out with her I need to act.
2) I have no idea how to go about doing it. I haven't asked a girl out in 3 years (my previous relationship was a 2 year-er) and even then, when I asked her out it was a very unorthadox approach built up over time. In this case I need to act quickly due to the time constraints mentioned above in 1.
3) I can't guarantee (or expect) a 'private' moment or chance to do this, as usually our conversations are in the classroom and her friend is usually there.
I have no idea how to broach the subject, but I'm debating just going up to her and say "hey derpette, I know we don't know really know each other but I think we have a lot of common and I'd like to know you better, what do you think?"
I'm not worried about being turned down, worst thing that can happen is I never see her again right? But I'd like some advice whether my above approach sounds good, bad, or whether anyone has some radical ideas I'd never think of!
TL;DR: | 2 classes left to ask a girl out that I don't know outside of class, debating a direct "hey I'd like to know you more..." approach, thoughts? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me (m15) feels very insecure because girlfriend's (f14) family makes more money
POST: I need advice on how to deal with the problem in the title, we have been dating official for about a month and a half but talked alot before then. Im not poor its just my parents are divorced so there isnt really alot of money around. We have a small house but with a nice basement. on the other hand, she has a HUGE house and pretty much anything she wants. She is spoiled i guess you can say but not really a bitch about it like most poeple would say. Plus she is probaly the prettiest girl any where near my age range, and im just about average or less. Im stressing over this one thing and im losing sleep over it.. idk what to do :(
TL;DR: | me (15m) losing sleep because girlfriend of 1.5months (14f) family makes alot more money. (bigger house ex.) |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskDocs
TITLE: Fainted and may have hit my head while falling
POST: Hello guys, I'm just going to jump right at it since i'm pretty concerned
Yesterday my parents left early for work so I decided to wake and bake. I smoked a small joint and ate eggs with bread in my room. The eggs turned out to be undercooked so I was going to throw them away. Now my kitchen is on the 2nd floor of my house and my room is on the 1st floor, I ran up the stairs and started to feel really dizzy, it got worse and worse in the matter of like 5 seconds or so, I had to hold on to my fridge to be able to stand up, and my vision began to blurr out, in Sweden we call it Myrornas krig but I can't really translate it so here's a copy paste explaining what it is: Random, usually monochromatic, video noise (typically caused by a white noise input signal to a television, often due to lack of reception), in which it appears that white ants are fighting the black ants in an endless metaphorical battle; static, noise, snow
Anyhow, the ants war thing began blurring out my vision untill it all went black, I heard a loud bounce, almost like if you slam something hard into a wooden kitchen table, anyhow i woke up on the kitchenfloor on my back and it took me 3-4 seconds to realize I was lying on the floor. I was out for about 1-5 minutes, I also had a pain in my kneecap, in the back of my head and on my forehead, they're all on the left side of my body and now everytime I sit down for a while and i go to stand up, i get really dizzy again and every time, it scares the living hell out of me because i'm afraid i'm going to faint again. Should i maybe go to the hospital and get my head checked out?
I'm 20 years old male btw, i smoke a ton of cigarettes and pot, I also have been eating badly the last couple of days, maybe 1 meal a day.
TL;DR: | Fainted, hit my head and woke up 5 minutes later and now i get dizzy everytime i stand up after sitting down for a while |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (18m) and a girl (16f) took it to a new level of relationship but she doesn't want an "official relationship"
POST: Me and this girl have been "talking" for a little bit. Recently she told me she was into Collaring, In lamens terms she wants a Master/Slave relationship, her being the Slave and me being the Master. I'm fine with this and I actually made her "mine" last night. However when I asked her to actually be my GF she didn't want it but said she would stay faithful and not talk to anyone or do anything with anyone except me. I know it looks bad, me being 18 and her being 16. I am confused and concerned that I am going to get hurt here. It sucks.
TL;DR: | Girl says she wants to stay faithful but doesn't want to be officially in a relationship. I am concerned I am going to get hurt bad. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My girlfriend [20 F] of 8 months wants a second cat, but I [22M] don't. Am I being a jerk?
POST: A few months ago, I moved into a one room apartment with my girlfriend. Before dating, we had been room mates in a house that had a cat that we both loved, but couldn't take with us because it belonged to our room mate. After dating for a while we moved to a one bedroom apartment with just the two of us.
We talked about adopting another cat just for us, and she quickly fell in love with a surrendered cat at a local pet store. After some discussion about waiting and meeting other cats, I agreed that we could get the one she fell for, and he moved in shortly after we did.
However, he's a young cat who's always under foot, loves to bite and gets into everything in the apartment. I don't mind him being around, and she loves him, and I'm currently pretty happy with how things operate right now.
Now, here is the current problem. She found another cat at a pet store who's baby was sold without her. The cat is distraught and alone without it, and my girlfriend, who is a complete animal lover, is adamant about adopting her so she won't be alone. I, on the other hand don't really want a second cat, having only adopted our first cat three months ago, and him being a bit of a trouble maker.
I've told her that I don't want a second cat at the moment, though I am open to the idea in the future, possibly when we move to a bigger place. However, she is saying that she is going to adopt this cat whether I like it or not because she'll regret not helping it, and that our first cat will be less trouble because it will have someone to play with. I have firmly said no, because I am afraid it will be stressful in a small apartment, but am I being a jerk for not considering her feelings and compromising to save this cat?
I don't want to break up with her at all because I love her a lot, but I don't feel like she is respecting that she shares the apartment, nor is she respecting my opinion on the matter.
TL;DR: | We just moved in together and adopted a cat; my girlfriend wants another one because its in need, and I don't right now. How can we compromise? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I don't know if I [30 F] can stay with my long-term boyfriend [32 M] after discovering my life purpose
POST: I love my boyfriend of 4 years, but I am worried about our future lives together with his current and future levels of income. He is one of the smartest, most caring, and supportive people I have ever met but he is not wealthy. He has supported me through depression and an eating disorder and tutored me 2-3 nights a week to help me get on track with my classes when I was in college.
He makes about 55k as an assistant professor with a career max of around 100k. I make a little less working for the state government and I don't anticipate making much more anytime soon and may quit.
However, I will eventually inherit about $15 million of real estate and a stake in a business partnership from my family. I am very interested in continuing to build my family's wealth and I just don't see how my boyfriend can help me with that goal. I have been reading books about self-actualization and I have realized that money is my goal in life.
My boyfriend says he would support me in my decisions to pursue wealth building but that he is too busy with his career to help much with this goal. I told him that is fine but that in return he should make at least 400k a year in his career to contribute to our wealth building. He told me that wasn't realistic and actually called me selfish(!)
I don't know what to do. I feel so indebted to him for his love and help, but our goals for actualization are no longer aligned. I know that there are other men out there that either have the wealth or will help build the wealth that I desire. My current boyfriend makes less than ANY of my immediate or extended relatives.
TL;DR: | Want wealth-building to be my goal in life but my current boyfriend can't/won't help me actualize that goal |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: 19m don't know what to do..
POST: Hey, I'm unsure about how to proceed in my current situation..
There is this girl I really like, we've been on like 4-5 dates. I initiated three, she initiated one. All about a week apart on Friday night. Other than that i rarely see her, we go to different schools. We are both pretty busy during the week with work and classes..We text a lot in between, I make sure she starts some of the conversations and such.
Lately she's seemed really distant. I will text her something, she'll respond the next day or not at all.. It's something she could respond to (like it always is) so I don't know what to think. She still uses a lot of emotion in her texts they are just less frequent, maybe she's just busy? I ran into her somewhere and I knew she was in a hurry so we briefly chatted and I let her go, she didnt seem very excited to see me but it was a pretty short conversation about how work was going etc..Is there some way I can see if she's still interested? Tell her I like her and want/hope to spend more time with her?
For both of us this is our first relationship.
Any other tips? Thanks.
TL;DR: | Girl I really like seems distant, hasn't texted as much recently. Any way I can find out if she's still interested? Just ask her, maybe lol? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My first real brake up.
POST: I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm 19[M] and she's 19[F]. I have had 2 relationships in my life, the first for two years and this past one for 8 months.
Unlike my last relationship I felt happy with this one. I had more fun with her than any other girls I've met. I wasn't afraid to be myself around her.
But what was bad was I just didn't realize what I had till it was to late. I know that I fucked up and didn't give her the attention she deserved. I was to engulfed in just beating depression I got from school and was using video games as a escape.
It wasn't until she went home for a week that I realized I needed to put more into this relationship, and I was ready to do what it took. As soon as she came back she dropped the bomb and that was 5 days ago. Since then we've texted and hung out in real life talking about our relationship and last night we agreed for another chance.
Then around 2 hours after that she came to my room and told me it was just an impulse decision and that we should stay broken up for now. She needs to find herself and tells me I need to do the same.
All of this is now hitting me like a train. We have decided to stay away from each other for 2 weeks and I just keep assuming the worst will happen. I just don't know what to do right now.
TL;DR: | This is my second real relationship and I'm feeling awful. I have no idea what to do or tell her. I also have no idea what's going to happen and it scares me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [f24] am very happy with my boyfriend [m27] but have feelings for my friend [m26]
POST: My boyfriend and I have a happy, healthy, loving relationship and have been together for 4 years. He is the person I want to spend my future with and the one who I feel is the love of my life. The friend I've known for almost as long, and we've always had a great connection. However, there has always been this romantic chemistry there that won't effing go away. A while ago, we admitted to having feelings for each other, although we never acted on it because I was in a relationship. Now, he is also happily in a relationship. But a couple of years have passed, and the feelings are still there.
I've thought this over plenty, and I haven't ever felt that there is anything wrong in my relationship, in fact I'm incredibly happy in it, and if I had to choose between the two, I'd pick my boyfriend. So it's not so much a matter of picking someone, it's coping with these lingering feelings and wondering how normal it is. I almost feel as if this friend and I connect so easily that us being around each other is like two magnets attracting… it's inevitable (that is a really stupid analogy but the best I can think of lol). The best thing would probably be to stop talking to him altogether. Unfortunately, he is also friends with my boyfriend and we have mutual friends, so that makes it impossible.
So, has anybody even remotely been through something similar? Or if not, some encouragement or words of advice would be great...
TL;DR: | I have strong feelings for a good friend that will not go away, even though I'm happily in a long term relationship. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by singing a song
POST: So this happened about 10 minutes ago.
I work in an office building and next door is a fast food place. Today I didn't bring my lunch so I walked over next door to grab some food. Usually when it's nice out I eat lunch in my car with the windows down and listen to the radio. At this time of day my station of choice usually plays some good stuff. So I'm sitting there playing solitaire on my phone, eating french fries and Nine Inch Nails - Closer comes on. Fuck yes, this is my jam and I start singing along.
Now anyone who knows this song knows how...suggestive the lyrics are (that's putting it lightly). As I'm sitting there singing the shit out of it, I happen to glance up and see a man standing in the parking lot, eating his food, just looking at me. I immediately stfu and turn down the radio to continue my lunch in quiet, pretty embarrassed.
I finish my lunch and go back into the office and lo and behold, I see the guy inside getting help on something from one of my co-workers. What was partial embarrassment is now full-blown mortified.
TL;DR: | sang NIN song too loudly while on break and a guy who heard me was in my office when I got back. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Need advice/help on my current relationship
POST: To explain here is some background of my relationship: I'm 20 soon to turn 21 and she is 21, it's a long distance over the internet relationship, and well... we technically have different goals and different ideas on things. Currently I've been in the relationship about 2 months and little over a week, but I've known her for about 9 months. The thing is though as I mentioned earlier is we have different goals in life, I'm currently trying to figure out what career I want and then get my associate degree and then transfer to a state college and get my bachelors. She on the other hand... want's to travel the world and help people and live on a basis of moving constantly and she also never completed High School.
To explain where she got this idea is around time she dropped out of High school she started doing these long walks in protest of things and she'd go by state by state. Right now currently she is living with her family again. Now I love her, but I don't know what do... She's really sweet and kind, but the life she wants doesn't really fit me in picture as I want to do different things. Recently I tried talking to her about it and she was stubborn with me and just wouldn't listen me on the subject.
She also got over a bad break up a few months ago and yet feels I'm best thing in her life which makes it harder. What do I do? Do I continue the relationship? Part of me feels she's nicest girl I've been close with in awhile, but on other hand I find what she want's do may just not work out between us.
TL;DR: | she want's to do things her way, I want to do things my way, she's really nice, but because of our differences I feel like it'll break us apart in the long run. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [Update] My [m25] future wife [f25] has been texting her coworker [m33] a lot and lying about it. It started the morning after her Bachelorette Party.
POST: Origional Thread-
So after reading everyone's advice on my first thread I got my game plan together and called her out on the bullshit. My fiance broke down into tears and told me that she knows she is acting like an idiot and is feeling really nervous about the wedding/ getting cold feet.
As far as the deleted text messages she explained that she has been having a lot of problems with her phone and she had to delete several conversations the night before b/c messages were getting sent over and over again, stuck in her outbox. She had the capability to retrieve the deleted conversation and I asked her to do so b/c I wanted to see it. She showed it to me, and it honestly was very innocent. Mostly just talk about work and him bitching about his kids.
Despite the text messages being innocent, I explained to her that the fact that she is so concerned with this guy, and was willing to brush my feelings to the side is something that needs to change. I told her that cold feet is one thing, but if she wants to go forward with this wedding she has to make sure that I am the number one guy in her life, always.
She told me she knows that. She said that for whatever reason she is getting really anxious about the wedding in a month and, like I said, is getting cold feet.
I told her that I don't want to get married unless she is 100% sure about me. I told her she needs to go to her parents for the weekend and really think about what it means to be married. She wasn't happy about it, but didn't argue. As of this morning she has been texting me constantly. I feel better about the situation, but it remains to be seen if the issue is totally resolved.
TL;DR: | Fiance realized she was in the wrong. I made her stay the weekend at her parents to think about what it means to get married. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [24M] took out a lovely woman [21F] tonight, not sure how it went.
POST: Met an absolutely beautiful woman 2 days ago at the bar, started chatting with her and her friends, got her number, and took her out on a date tonight. I already knew she was shy because of the way she acted at the bar, but *WOW* she was **very** shy.
Picked her up, opened my car door for her all night, total gentleman, ate at a nice restaurant, got her flowers, the whole shebang. We went to a movie afterwards and during it I noticed she was sitting a bit away in her seat. She seemed very shy, but she was definitely smiling at me and seeming to have a good time by laughing at my jokes, etc. I reached out to brush my fingers across her legs, maybe amp up the flirtation, and she sort of moved her leg a bit, I wasn't sure if she had actually moved though, so I brushed her leg again and she clearly lifted it away from me as if to say, "Hey now..."
So I went to the bathroom to do some research really fast and I read to just make sure that if you're getting a sign from a girl, to make sure you read it and act like you got it. So the rest of the night I was very polite, asked her if she would like to do anything else after the movie, she thought about it for a few minutes but ultimately decided to go back home, I drop her off, she is smiling and says thank you for the flowers, and just to make sure I don't cross any lines I asked if I could hug her. She said yes and so I got out when I dropped her off and gave her a hug. Even when we broke the hug she seemed to *reclaim her space* back. She seemed *very* timid, perhaps prude, not sure, but she did seem like she had a great time and after I texted her tonight saying we should hang out later this week, she said yes.
What's the deal? Is she just very shy? Does she just not like me? I'm a little confused on what step to take next. Thanks for any help.
TL;DR: | Took a girl out tonight everything went great, seemed like she had a great time, but she was *very* shy so not sure how to read things. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [22 F] "almost relationship" / fuck buddy [29 M] ended things, breakup advice?
POST: My fuck buddy ended things out of nowhere yesterday, we were sexting and I took a nap then woke up to a "I think we should take a break and maybe in a few months we can pick things back up" (the weirdest part was we made plans to meet up Saturday during our texting on his call) he didn't tell me why or anything he just ended things.
Is there advice you have on how to deal with this? I'm feeling kinda low and sad, especially because I don't have "closure" (which is made up I know, I just want to know whats going on so i'm out of the dark)
TL;DR: | got broken up with yesterday and I just wanna get drunk and eat ice cream. Advice on how to deal with these kinds of breakups? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [19 M] asked my coworker out for coffee, causing issues with other coworkers [19Fs]
POST: Not sure which flair to use...
Using a throwaway cause people know my main account.
Over the past month I developed a crush on one of my coworkers (we'll call her Eve), and last week I decided to ask her out. We were sitting in the break room with another coworker (let's call him Cav) talking about things and we got on the topic of her last relationships somehow, and Cav made a comment about how Eve and I should go out. So I jumped at my chance and asked her for her number and if she wanted to go out for coffee sometime. She seemed surprised I wanted to go out with her, and she gave me her number.
Unfortunately, Cav is kind of gossipy, and has told people that Eve and I are going out with people, but we haven't even set a date for coffee yet (she hasn't responded to some of my texts, but that's not the issue).
The problem is, two of my coworkers from my department (Cav and Eve work in other sections) have crushes on me. They've made it fairly obvious (flirting, finding excuses to touch me or my hair, etc.) and up until last week were overly friendly with me and eager to help me with any tasks I might have to do.
Since it's out that Eve and I are apparently dating, my two coworkers have grown very bitter towards me (ignoring me, silent treatment, etc.). How do I approach them to try and remedy the situation and get work back to the way it was before any of this drama kicked in?
I'm not looking to have the two doting girls again, I just want them to be like regular coworkers.
Before anyone says it, I know the saying Don't shit where you eat,but my company allows relationships between coworkers (some are even married)
TL;DR: | Asked out a female coworker, two other coworkers are jealous of her and angry towards me, how do I resolve the issue with the two coworkers |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: Help!! Need advice for excersises to focus on lower abs!!
POST: Hello, I'm a 18 year old Male and I used to be a little overweight when I was younger. My peak weight was 180. After getting more active and adjusting what and how much I ate, I was eventually able to lose 50 pounds and am currently at 130. The problem is that the remaining fat I have have condensed to a bulge on my lower abs! I'm not an out of shape guy. I can do pull ups, push ups, sits ups no problem and even have a mile time of 6 min 47 secs! But yet this unholy demon of a fat "pouch" won't go away. Included are some photos to show you what I mean. This "pouch" makes me really insecure with my body and I'm hoping to get advice on excersises that I can focus on and bust this thing out! I'm not looking for a six pack ab but just to help level out my stomach. Anything is appreciated, Thanks!!
Image 1:
Image 2:
TL;DR: | Lost a lot of weight, have unnatural "pouch" of fat stuck over lower abs, looking for any workouts to focus on that area to help get rid of it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 M] with my GF [20 F] 5 months, Am I worrying about nothing, or should I be concerned? (LDR)
POST: Hi /r/relationships.
I come to you all today seeking advice. I'm currently in a long distance relationship with my girlfriend, we see each other once every month ~ few months, and we're ok with that, as university and work schedules often clash. I'm in love with her, 99% of the time, but there's this small thing that's holding me back.
All my life I've been told by the people around me that I'll never be successful, I'll never meet someone special, etc. etc. This has led me to be pretty self-conscious, and also makes me sometimes feel that I'm not good enough for my girlfriend.
The problem that I have at the moment, is how she talks to other guys. I've seen her Facebook private messages (not snooping), and seen skype conversations with people, and she frequently says things like "xoxoxo", "baby", "you're amazing" and other shit like that. I trust her, and she promises that she's committed to the relationship and that she only ever thinks of me. All of this bothers me, probably because I'm a little fucked up with self-confidence problems. I talked to her about this, and she got defensive and angry at me, which is understandable.
What should I do? Am I in the wrong here? Do females use this sort of language around other people / does it not mean as much as I think it means?
Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
TL;DR: | Girlfriend uses words like "xoxoxo" "baby" "you're amazing" when talking to other guys. Should I be concerned, or am I just overreacting? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by just trying to take off the case to my phone.
POST: So I was trying to take off the case to my iPhone 6 to compare the color of the back with my friends phone. When I first got the case I could tell it would be a pain to get off by how hard it was to slide on. Well when I went to try and take it off, I pressed on the screen for some leverage and sure enough I heard a small crack noise and then saw a nice fat crack go down the middle of my phone.
I should mention that it was also caused by a tiny crack at the top of the phone I got a long time ago. So the integrity was already compromised but I had forgotten about the crack since it's so small and pretty much unnoticeable.
What sucks is I am about to trade it in because I'm on the AT&T Next plan and now I'm gonna have to shell out money to get it fixed before I can trade it in.
TL;DR: | Case was really snug on my phone, try to use the screen as leverage to slide it off and ended up cracking it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How can I [24F] preserve a good relationship with my bosses [24M, 25M] after quitting?
POST: I have been offered a job last week that is really exciting for me, with better learning opportunities and compensation, I felt like I had to go for it. So I decided to, and now I have to actually quit my current job. I'm really nervous about this as I have a great relationship with my managers and its a very small company so I've become really integrated into everything.
It's the first time I've encountered this in my career and was hoping for some advice about the best way to quit so that I don't ruin the great relationship I've formed with my managers and coworkers. I feel really guilty about leaving and can't shake it. So reddit, what would you do? How do you quit?
TL;DR: | Got a better job offer, really excited but now have to quit current job and don't want to ruin the great friends/mentors I've made. How do I quit without being a total jerk? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: My best friend [M17] wants to start a FWB relationship with me and I'm [F17] confused.
POST: So basically I have been friends with this guy for a long time. We see each other practically everyday, and on days we don't hang out we text, snapchat, and/or FaceTime. He constantly tells me that he can tell me anything and people often mistake us for a couple.
We were hanging out last weekend when things...escalated, to say the least (check the link). Basically I got a little tipsy for the first time and gave him a blowjob.
We talked about it the other day and he's made it crystal clear that he's interested in a friends with benefits, FWB, kind of relationship with me. He says that because we are so close and such good friends that we could pull it off without any issues and still keep our incredible friendship in tact. I told him that I was saving all that stuff for a boyfriend and that I would have a hard time separating everything between us.
I have a crush on him. I might be in love with him. So I know that FWB would only hurt me in the long run. I guess what I'm asking here is what does it mean when your best friend wants to start a sexual relationship? What am I missing that renders me undatable? Does he actually like me or is he simply just a sexually frustrated teenage boy?
TL;DR: | My best friend wants to start a FWB relationship with me and I'm wondering why he doesn't want to date me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [15M]Girlfriend doesn't like being physical (hardly at all)
POST: Ok, so we are both freshman, and we began dating just under two months ago. We are both relatively new to the whole bf/gf thing (me more than her) I really like this girl, I want to spend time with her often, and I try to do so. Unfortunately she is very busy and we can only see each other (outside of school) once or twice a week at most. Furthermore, she doesn't like being physical, and she says she, at most, wants to hold hands and hug sometimes. We have kissed on several occasions, but never for long. This makes me feel like she doesn't really like me. If I try to put my arm around her or something along those lines, she will often respond affectionately, but it feels forced.
I am just not very sure what do from here and would like some help. I really like this girl, she is very funny, kind, smart, and we share similar interests, but I feel restrained, and I want more out of the relationship (not necessarily sexual, just more physical) but don't know what to do about it.
TL;DR: | GF and I have been dating for two months, gf doesnt like being physical, I want to be more physical, etc. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: 31[M] Couldn't forgive 36[F] for emotional cheating
POST: A little while ago I picked up my now ex's Ipad and it had Facebook open.
I saw a conversation that she was having with a guy that was hitting on her and she was saying things like "You're a really nice guy, I would be lucky to have someone like you" and "If only you lived closer"
When I first confronted her about it I asked if anyone was hitting her ( just a general question, not mentioning what I saw) Her response was "yes but I let him down". I didn't see anything telling him that she wasn't interested.
When I told her that I saw the conversation the first thing she accused me of was hacking her facebook and that this is the best way to deal with this guy was to go along with it, because he only becomes interested when she is in a relationship and he will never do anything about it.
Anyways fast forward into the future, we had many fights over it and I felt that I was never able to express how i felt without her thinking I was having a pissing contest on who has hurt who more.
Now we have just broken up a few days ago but I can't stop thinking that maybe she was telling the truth about him and she was just trying to shoo him away without causing issues.
I feel really heartbroken and am blaming myself and I don't know why
TL;DR: | I feel like I've thrown away a good relationship because she was cheating but did it so she wouldn't hurt another guys feeling and I couldn't get it off my chest. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: UPDATED UPDATE I [24 F] am finding traditional relationships hard to stomach
POST: [Original](
[Unoriginal](
I have no idea who has actually followed this saga, but anyway.So, I don't know if this happens often, but I actually heeded you guys advice.
After much thinking, I realised I wasn't being fair on my boyfriend. He wanted to accommodate me, said he'd accept living apart and seeing less of each other. But after some of the views people have expressed here and speaking to him, I came to the conclusion that he was forgoing his own desires out of desperation to hold on to me, and to some extent I was doing it because I thought 'not wanting a long-term relationship' meant there was something wrong with me.
We've now broken up. And next time I'll be more upfront about what I want, and explain to future partners that my 'default' is not a traditional relationship, but that the terms of our relationships need to be more carefully negotiated.
[Aside to whomever it concerns: no I didn't leave a 4-year relationship with a guy I care about because I wanted to 'have lots of dicks', are you mad???]
TL;DR: | Reddit had some great points, and I took them on board, and broke off my relationship. Will be more careful in future getting into committed relationships without working through the terms. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How important is the conductor of a symphony really?
POST: I was pondering this a little while ago randomly, and then recently my girlfriend and I were given tickets to an orchestra here from her aunt. It's not exactly my style of music, but I'm always down to check something out.
While watching I was trying to see what the conductor was really doing. I think the idea is that they are leading the musicians and keeping them all together. But what I couldn't help but think is that they'd be fine without him as well. The musicians are of course all amazing at their instruments, and were looking at their sheet music 99% of the time.
Finally, the last piece had a singer come out, and the conductor was behind her, so she was taking literally zero queue from him, which furthered my idea that, for these professional musicians, they could do without the guy up front with the little wand.
Yet the conductor always gets top billing, and their names are always quite well known (at least in those circles), leading me to question my questioning.
TL;DR: | Really, what does the conductor do? How important are they? And if you took the same orchestra, and switched conductors would anyone notice? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I [31 M] make close friends as a straight, effeminate dude.
POST: I was raised and educated in a somewhat unusual setting, and for various reasons, I was basically exclusively around women and girls growing up (stay at home mother and aunt. My father worked a lot.). I had two sisters around my age (two years older, one year younger) and a bunch of female cousins that i was raised with. None of us were raised in a particularly strongly gendered way, and I certainly wasn't raised as a girl or anything dramatic, but I obviously sort of just went with the flow growing up. I think I first started interacting with other boys my age on a regular basis at like age 16 when a new neighbor started hanging out with us a lot more.
I ended up as a pretty average, hetero dude with some stereotypically female interests that tends to click better with women. This is absolutely nothing against men, I have and have had male friends, but there is still a difference in most men and women interact, interests, etc and I'm just much more comfortable with women.
I'm pretty happy with who I am, and I have and have had both men and women as friends, but always feel a little bit like an outsider and it feels like it has kept me from finding really close friends. My best friends have always been women, but there is always a little bit of a barrier, because at the end of the day, I am obviously not 'one of the girls' and the possibility of sexual attraction tends to mess things up (your boyfriend perceived me helping you do your nails as hitting on you, when we actually just share an interest in nail art, etc). On the other hand with most men, we can be good buds, but at the end of the day I don't really feel like I'm being myself.
TL;DR: | Raised entirely around women, now feel like there is a barrier to making close friends with either men or women. How do I make friends as a cis, hetero but effeminate dude. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [29 M] with a girl I've been dating [22 F] for three months, I have herpes and I've told her since the beginning, recently she is paranoid, no sex yet.
POST: I have herpes HSV-1, on my mouth, and HSV-2, on my genitals. I take suppressive medication to control my outbreaks. Additionally, I try to eat right, work out and stay healthy as this helps control the outbreaks as well.
I have been seeing this girl for three months. Within the first two weeks, I told her about my affliction before we had any sexual contact. At first, she was very accepting of my problem but as we have gotten more intimate she has been paranoid about contracting the virus (completely understandable). She is concerned about if we break up in the future, what will happen if she contracted the virus. She doesn't want to risk contracting the virus. We have still not had sex yet. Should we just end it here?
I know that this is a deal breaker with any intimate relationship I form with someone else, and I will continue being forward about it. What else can I do to continue being safe? How can I live with herpes? Am I stuck finding someone else with herpes too?
TL;DR: | I have herpes and I've told her since the beginning, she is now paranoid, no sex yet. Should we just end it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [19/M] doing everything right (NC) after a breakup but am having trouble getting over my ex [20/F]
POST: Two months ago, my girlfriend of just 5 months called me over to her house because she "needed to talk". She told me that she wasn't in love anymore and broke up with me (though I put up a bit of a fight.) It ended amicably It wasn't a particularly long relationship, but we were friends for a year beforehand. I admittedly still love her. I cut off contact with her ever since.
As much as I hate the situation, I'm willing to accept it. It was an okay relationship. There were no major problems. We never fought, we had lots in common, the sex was good, and we got along with each other's families well. But I don't think it was particularly passionate, and if I imagine marrying her, it's just like, "Oh, that's okay." We had similar values, religious and political views but it never really "clicked" for me. If I worked on talking to woman and getting out more into the world, I could get someone else better for me... hopefully.
So, I don't understand why I'm so hung up, and why I'm only feeling a little better after this long after such a short relationship. If I'm in a bad mood, my thoughts trace back to it. I'll replay old conversations in her and think of different ways to say things to win her back. I'll criticize myself, tell myself I wasn't good enough for her. Sometimes I blame myself for being too nervous, too apologetic, or not fun enough.
Since, well, I think that "I'm no longer in love" is her code for "you're not right for me, and you're messed up".
I've cut off contact, deleted all of my texts from her, and have unsubscribed from her FB updates and never go to her profile. But I'm still not feeling better.
TL;DR: | Fell in love with close friend, dated her, she no longer loves me, don't want to get back together with her but self-esteem is low and I feel miserable much of the time. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Hi, I (23M) going to break up with my gf (23F) but I'm having cold feet because I don't wanna hurt her
POST: Hi, I'm in a relationship since March 13' and I think we are in this point where things are stale (I don't know if this is the right word because english is not my native language).
We have a healthy relationship: no jealousy, we talk things that bother us and we don't shout too much in discussions (It has happened but it isn't often). Apart from that when we are together we usually have a good time doing anything.
Well that was the case two months ago. Now I'm starting to feel like we lost the spark. I dont get anymore any emotion when I kiss her and I'm not excited as I used to be when I see her. In addition, in the last weeks two girls started to flirt with me in a casual way. Normally, I would avoid them because I hate infedility but this time (not that I have done anything) I've done nothing to stop it and that's when it hit me: maybe I don't love her like I did before.
The last point, and maybe the most importante, is that we've never had sexual chemistry. I'm into experimenting and she's traditional. That has been always a problem for us and now it's more than ever,
So why am I having cold feet? She's an awesome person. Like a really good one. I like her personality and I don't wanna hurt her. She doesn't deserve that.
What should I do? I really don't know
TL;DR: | I have solid reasons to breakup with my gf but I'm having cold feet because she's an awesome person and I don't wanna hurt her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [21 M] with my ex [21 F] I apologised for being immature but still don't feel closure.
POST: We only went out for a few months, she was amazing. I loved her but I screwed up I told her that she doesn't need to make our relationship hard after we couldn't decide where to eat. So I got this huge Text saying how I blame her for everything ect. Although I dont think that.
We didnt talk for about a week I knew it was over but I sent her a text asking how work was. About 6 Hours later I got a text saying how much she likes me and she wants to stop our relationship... Obviously I knew it was coming but I got very upset and said a lot of things and told her the reason she doesn't have friends, blah blah... I was a huge dick and she sent a few things fairly nasty back. (yesterday)
I have to drive past her work to get to mine every day but something clicked when I drove past today, I realised how immature and my stupidity to do what I did was. I sent her a short message saying "I would just like to apologise for being immature... You are gorges, loving and have the cutest smile I have ever seen. I'm sorry our friendship had to end because of my stupidity. You deserve some one amazing and I know you will find that person one day. Be safe, be happy and enjoy life!". I know she got it, I don't expect her to send me a message back in fact I know she wont.
But I still don't feel good, Maybe I just miss her and don't feel like Im going to get over her as easy as I did other girls.
TL;DR: | Apologised to my ex, still feel bad for being immature. Feeling more depressed then I have ever felt before. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Non-typical girlfriend or friends question..
POST: Hi Reddit. Unusual question for ya. I (24m) met my girlfriend (21f) when she was hired at my work. I had worked there for several months and was good friends with everyone who worked there (all females.) She was a great worker from the start but as soon as her and I began talking, the attitude towards her changed. All of a sudden she was hated. Not by all but most. They got her fired after a matter of weeks underfalse details. They also were terrible to me for weeks afterwards. Her and I have been dating for 2 months now and we are amazing.
The question: One of the girls who was terrible is turning 21. Initially i was not invited but i was recently. I was torn on going because obviously a few of them are not considered my friends anymore, but others are and they are all one big group. Last night my GF told me she'd be uncomfortable, but not mad, if i went. I really appreciate her telling me this but im still not sure what i should do. Advice reddit?
TL;DR: | some friends at work were dicks to Gf before for she was GF, now them plus real friends invite me to party, gf says it'd make her uncomfortable if I go. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My girlfriend [27 F] and I [26 M] have been together for almost 3 years and her sex drive has diminished. She won't discuss if anything is wrong.
POST: In the first month of dating her, we had sex, so I know the issue isn't the fact that she wants to wait until marriage. We were actually pretty sexually active the first few months (condoms) but then we started having sex without protection and switched to the birth control + pull out method.
After a while, I noticed we went from having sex once every few days to once every few weeks, and now it's been 2 months since we've had sex and it's because she shows absolutely no interest in anything sexual related. We used to make out but even that's sort of gone now and we barely kiss each others lips when we say hi/bye. I've told her that I've been sexually frustrated and I miss the affectionate relationship we had but she says that she's just not a sexual person anymore. I've asked her if maybe it's the BC that's affecting her libido but she responds with, "That's the point, isn't it?". Now I'm not a doctor but I thought BC was to prevent pregnancy for those who are sexually active, not to stop sexual activity itself... otherwise why not just stick with celibacy.
I've asked her if she could at least talk to her doctor about the effects because we're barely even intimate with each other, but she reads stuff on buzzfeed or random forums about how most women lose their sexual desires while on BC and she just tells me, "See, they're all like me too." I told her that I've read online (Reddit) about male birth control through an FDA tested injection that's almost 100% effective and completely reversible, but she says she doesn't trust that.
I don't know what to do because of the many things I love about my girlfriend, one of them used to be that we would make love frequently and lay on the bed naked with each other and talk about our lives together. That much of my relationship is gone now and we're just two people living in the same bubble now.
Are there any studies to show the negative effects BC has on a woman's sexual desires? I mean how else do I deal with this.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend lost sexual desire after 2 years of Birth Control and now she accepts the fact that she's just not sexual enough to be intimate anymore. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I invited [22M] to watch film [20F], later I asked to hangout again but she didn't seem that responsive. What to do?
POST: Asked this girl to come watch a film with me. We didn't get much time to talk but the little convo we had seemed to go okay. I tell her that we should hangout again sometimeand she says something along the lines of yeah but not to sure.
What to do now? Should I just tell her how I really feel and stop playing games. Does she not like me but is too kind to say so? What should i text her to tell if she's into me? I dont want to be a guy that doesn't get the message and conatanly hounds a girl but i need to know where i stand.
(sorry for bad grammer i'm a bit drunk as i'm typing this).
TL;DR: | Don't know what to do next with this girl. Unsure if she likes me. How to test or what to message her to confirm if she is intrested? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Dear Reddit, what's the most badass/gruesome injury you've had.
POST: When I was about 12, me and my cousins used to play a game where we'd slide down a ladder on sledges.
The ladder was propped up at about a 45 degree angle and we'd lie on our backs on these cheap plastic sledges and slide down.
One time, a peice of rope on my sledge got caught on the ladder and somehow I managed to slide down the rest of the ladder on my face.
This ended up with my lips being torn to shreds and not being able to eat anything but muffins for the following week. (score! <3)
Anyway, the next morning, I woke up early because I couldn't breathe. My lips had scabbed together and I couldn't open my mouth. I felt like I was in some fucked up horror movie.
Not wanting to wake anyone up, I calmly walked to the kitchen, found a large kitchen knife and painfully cut my mouth open again.
TL;DR: | ripped lips off, mouth scabbed over, had to cut mouth open with a kitchen knife. I was 12. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What can we realistically do to markedly help the environment? What would you say to your descendants if asked by them 'what are you doing to help the environment?'
POST: [1] [2](
It really has gone wet and hot, and that's not a euphemism for something. Doesn't matter which way you see the sun rise you can all understand that whatever is coming out of the priministering pimhole of your cars is not what you want for breakfast lunch and dinner.
So in a tribute to the future, readers of tomorrow, and our children I want us all to send a letter to our descendants (near and far), to talk of their environmental woes and troubles, to give our best arguments for our innonence, to list our deeds to the environment or our plans to reduce our footprint, to use them as invocation to action, to tell them of the car you're choosing not to buy or the bath you no longer use. Let every upvote represent a descendant's respect.
I hope this goes better than the future will.
TL;DR: | Write and post a letter to your descendants, showing your respect and care for the environment today, the people you think are making a difference, and how we are helping the environment or plan to. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [23/m] am I over thinking things?
POST: Hi reddit, have been lurking here for a long time. Finally it's my turn to post something.
I haven been with my gf [23/f] for over a year now. She has a number of male best friends. Throughout the relationship I've only met her close friend's once or twice and I feel left out when I am not invited to her friend's open house or when they are going on a trip.
I have talked to her about it and told her that she could always invite me if I am not invited, but her reason for not inviting me was that she wants to be able to spend time with her friends and that we are not a "unit". Although we are in a relationship, we are still an individual person and that she needs her time alone. She also said that I am a person who thinks a lot especially into her actions, and thus she is usually stressed out when I am around as she feels that her actions are being restricted.
I also have an issue with her best friend, as I feel she doesn't understands how a male brain works. She keeps telling me that the relationship she has with him is platonic and that I do not have to worry about him chasing her as she will definitely reject him if it occurs. She said that she can never be in a relationship with him as they have been friends for over 10 years and he is like family to her.
She says that I often read too much into things and am paranoid of her leaving me. She even told me that if she wanted to cheat she could have cheated, just that she isn't going to.
My mind is in a mess right now..
TL;DR: | GF not inviting me to events and told me that she wants to spend time with her friends. Later she told me it was because she feel restricted when I'm around her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Rear-End Collision with Spinal Compression Fracture. Will an injury lawyer get me more money?
POST: I live in Arizona (near Phoenix) and was rear-ended on the freeway in Jan of this year. I came to a stop in bad freeway traffic. I was driving a little Honda Civic and was struck at full speed (~65 mph) by a Dodge Dakota. I did not get pushed into another vehicle, I was pushed onto the off ramp I was near. My car was totaled and I already received a settlement for that value of the car.
I was walking around but in shock so did not take the ambulance ride that was offered to me at the scene of the accident. Instead I got a ride home and upon arriving immediately went to the Hospital. They took X Rays and CT Scans and determined that I had a 10% compression fracture in my T12 vertebrae. They then transferred me to another hospital's trauma center to further assess. I was in fact transported via ambulance from the first hospital to the second.
The next day I was fitted with a back brace (think turtle shell) and told to follow up with the Nuero Surgeon in 6 weeks. Just had that visit and the Dr said I will need to wear the brace another 6 weeks and then do an additional 6 weeks of physical therapy after that. He did say there will be no long-term issues.
I had a free consultation with an attorney my wife's family knows and he said he can get us more money than if we tried to settle on our own. He may be right but I am confident at negotiating and the 1/3 fee seems like a lot of money. The other guy's insurance company has already accepted fault. Am I naive to think that I can effectively settle this case on my own? Thanks in advance!
TL;DR: | Got rear-ended. They accepted fault. 10% Spinal compression fracture. Will recover in 18 weeks. Will a lawyer get me more money? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU By licking a woman's Sundae and then passing out.
POST: First off, I'm on my phone, so the formatting will probably suck.
Second, this took place a few years ago. I know, I get it. What can I say? I haven't fucked up as much as I used to. Fuck me, right?
Anyway, I have Epilepsy. I was diagnosed in 2010. I also happened to be a Sophomore in High School. As I hadn't fully gotten my condition figured out and managed as well as i do now, I was still prone to seizures.
So, I was working at McDonald's. It was busy as fuck. I was tired, and I was stressed. Dinner rush was coming to a close and I started to feel "the feeling". The feeling you get before you have a seizure. Only people who have had them will know what I'm talking about. So this lady comes in and asks just for a Sundae. Because I'm feeling "the feeling", menial tasks become impossible to do, as you get EXTREMELY confused. So, my coworker helped me out and made it for me-i just had to add the chocolate syrup.
I added it, and a little bit spilled over the side. What do I do? I LICK IT. I LICK HER SUNDAE RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER. The look on her face was so mortifying and disgusted I wanted to shove my face into the cookie oven on full heat. I apologized nonchalantly and started a new one. I then went into a seizure by sheer stress, exhaustion and embarrassment. Busted my head open on my way down. Blood everywhere. Gnarly as fuck.
TL;DR: | In the throes of having a seizure, made a customer a sundae, licked it in front of her, passed out and busted my head open. A.K.A your average day at McDonald's. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Christian relationship advice
POST: My wife (39) and I (34) have been married for 15 years and we have a child together. A three year old daughter. Ever since we had our daughter things have not been the same between us. We are much more distant and we almost work together like to separate people living together. We do not really have that great of a romance.
We have some sexual dysfunction that is mostly due to me (pe). I have been working on that for years and am not getting much better. We are Christians and we do not believe in divorce and I especially do not. However I am realizing that we do not have anything in common as far as hobbies or really much.
She has also had a weight problem for all of our marriage and constantly complains that she does not have time to work out because of a few reasons. However she is not really trying that hard with her eating. I am not suggesting that I am a model but I have lost 40lbs over the past six months and I am really trying.
We both go to a great small church and do like going. I have never even thought about cheating on my wife and I believe that my wife is in the same boat as that. However I did find a vibrator that apparently she has been using for three years. Guess she never felt the need to tell me. I come from a family of divorce and I am not interested in that but I feel trapped. I work full time and she stays home. Am I overreacting to the vibrator? I somehow feel like that is cheating even though I know that's stupid. I told her that it would not 've healthy for bus tourney to have another child while she weighs what she does. I am hoping that motivates her. I probably left some important details out so if you have any other questions please ask.
TL;DR: | should I be overly concerned about my wife's vibrator and what amount of effect is normal on a marriage with kids? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My boyfriend [22M] just confessed everything to me [21F] while drunk.
POST: I've been dating him for a bit over 2 years now. He's 22, I'm 21. Our relationship has been through some ups and downs, most notably this one:
We've had a long talk about that, and since then, it's been very smooth sailing, the past months have been amazing. We went out to the bars tonight, he had a long week filled with exams, so he was trying to party hard. It rarely happens, but he got hammered and absolutely blitzed. I had to take him home because of that.
Unfortunately, that just changed for me. Before I tucked him in, he went on a long drunken confession about how he's so sorry that I'm in a relationship with him. He said that he hates himself, and tried to ask me why I was even bothered to date him when I had so many options. I had always known he had self-esteem issues, but they were masked really well. Every other sentence was either "I'm so sorry." or "I love you".
The thing that shocked me was his confession of wanting to date me in the first place because I had benefits to confer on to him. In a nutshell, he wanted to date me because I was "hot and popular". This meant he'd get something called "social proof" (what is that?) and invitations to the best parties because I was popular. He continued to say that he waited for me to cheat so he could end it and use his newfound popularity and "social proof" to get other girls.
I left after he passed out shortly after that. They say a drunken mind speaks a sober heart, but what do I even do now? I love him more than he can realize, but it hurts to know you only dated to be used for supposed benefits. I feel so hurt, but I don't want to end it with him.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend confessed that he wanted to date me initially to use me for benefits, not because he was genuinely interested. What do I do now? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What is the weirdest coincidence that you ever experienced?
POST: This question is brought to you by today's mediocre coincidence. I work an on-campus job, and my Wednesday hours are 1-3pm, then 5-9pm. My college has two (main) campuses with a free shuttle service between them. My job is on the campus that does not have the dorms. Usually I just stay on the campus where my job is in between shifts, but today for some reason I just felt like going back to my room for a little bit. So after a shuttle ride and getting back to my room, I found that my roommate had locked himself out of the A room(It's a suite...long story short, we got the whole suite to ourselves when it's supposed to be 4 to a suite, 2 to each room. Lucky, I know) and was just sitting in my computer chair, hopelessly doing nothing in the B room. Had I not randomly decided to go back to my room, he would have been locked out of his room until about 9:20PM. We're talking 2 and a half hours in the future. As in, by right now, he'd probably be half-dead from boredom.
Subconscious GGG? XD
TL;DR: | Was unorthodox today, decided I wanted to chill a little bit before my second shift of work, came back to roommate locked out. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (F27) have a crush on a coworker (M27). Need advice.
POST: We've worked together for over a year now, though we've known each other much longer. I realized last fall that I really liked him. He had a girlfriend at the time, and we work together. So I've just been trying to ignore it. I've dated other people but I just can't seem to keep him off my mind for very long.
We get a long so well, and I really enjoy talking to him. Lately, he's been much more flirty with me at work. It seems like he's always in my office for some reason, he texts me after work hours, but it's like he's careful not to cross any lines. So it's hard for me to be certain that he's really interested. Last night I saw his roommate, who's a bartender. I ordered a drink, and he says to me, "So I hear you and [coworker] have a lot of fun at work." I'm not sure exactly what to make of that.
The problem is that I'm kind of his boss. It's a small company; there are 2 owners, a general manager, I'm the office administrator, and he's one of 8 technicians. I've been resisting for a while, but I really think he's worth the risk. We don't a policy about employee relationships, but I feel like it would be frowned upon. I honestly believe that there is a lot of potential between us though.
I guess I just don't what to do from here. I'm afraid to open with him, because I'm not certain of his attraction to me. I'm guessing he's in the same place? I don't know. I mean, I'm his boss so maybe he doesn't feel safe making a move.
TL;DR: | I have a crush on a coworker. I think he likes me too, but I'm not sure how to proceed. |
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