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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [21f] asked my SO [22m] to join me for Christmas but I feel guilty about it.
POST: My so and I have been together for 4 years and we're pretty much in a LDR. We are both from the same hometown [4hrs away] but go to different universities. We try and see each other once a month and so far so good [we even got through the stage of me going abroad for 6 months to study] so we've got a pretty good relationship and we're good with our communication.
Currently, I've started working at a company in my university hometown and I have to work during the Christmas holidays. There is no trains or buses running on Christmas day or boxing day and therefore I cannot go home and will have to spend Christmas day by myself. This has really put a downer on me and I have asked my SO if he would come and keep me company. He told me that he would have liked to have spent this holiday with his family (which I don't blame him) but he said he doesn't want me to be unhappy and alone and have agreed to come and spend these days with me.
I am very happy but also feeling extremely guilty about this whole situation. I know if it was reversed, I would hate the thought of him spending this festive day alone but I feel like I'm asking a really big thing here and I cannot help but think that maybe I should just bear with this and spend Christmas by myself.
I'm not sure where I'm really going with this post but was it selfish of me to have asked this from him?
TL;DR: | asked so to join me for Christmas, he said yes but now I'm feeling guilty and selfish for having asked him to sacrifice his time with his family for me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [27 M] told his friend he's falling in love with me [27 F], but it's not the right time so he wants to stop it all
POST: I met a guy in September. We didn't communicate a lot but saw each other from time to time in a bar. Went to a concert together in December, just friends.
Last week we ended up in my apartment with other friends. They left and we spent a great night and morning together. He texted me a couple of days later and decided to meet again.
We met on Thursday night and spent omg next 64 hours together. It was like we have been dating for months. Great sex, emotions, it was fun.
I found out that he told his friend he's falling in love. BUT it's not the right time, he has kids from the previous marriage and he should think about them, not about me. I don't want to lose him. I feel like if he sees me again, he won't be able to resist. I'm trying not to be too much for him, never text him first. Is there anything I can do/say to keep him? Or if he makes his mind, there's nothing I can do?
TL;DR: | A guy told his friend he is falling in love with me after a couple of awesome dates, but thinks it's not the right time so he wants to dump me. Is there anything I can do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [24M] read on my girlfriend's [24F] facebook chat that she had been making out with some guy she knows this summer. She never told me. What do I do?
POST: For the first time since we've been together( and we live together), I snooked on her facebook as she left it open before she went out. I saw some "shady" messages as "I love you, miss you, cute nicknames etc to her ex'es that she's good friends with. ( I do think she talks to a lot of people like this, so I don't think it means anything).
Then I got curious, and scrolled up, where they talked about a party they had been to, and the person she was talking to said vaugly that she had made out with a guy, and said and done some questionable things( I don't think it was sex). But she didn't want to talk about it, so the conversation ended there.
I don't know what to do. I invaded her privacy by looking at her messages, and I feel bad for that. At the same time I want to confront her, but then she'll get trust issues as I looked at her facebook without her consent?
I don't want to break up with her as we live together, but she hurt my trust as she didn't tell me about it. (She even told the guy on facebook she told me, but she never did..)
TL;DR: | Girlfriend and a friend of her talked on facebook about how she made out with another guy when she was super drunk. I'm not sure how to respond.. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I [20/m] like her [18/f] friends more than I like her.
POST: Honestly she's one of the best persons I've ever met. I've known her for a long time and she's always had an interest in me and was never afraid to say it. She ended up coming to the same university as me and we finally started officially dating. She supports me in everything I do and is it feels like she is about the only person who does, but almost to a point where I feel like she only does it to make sure I stay with her, not because she wants what she thinks would be best for me. I feel like there is something missing between us and I just can't figure out what it is. I know I should break up with her the, problem is all of her friends are great and I consider them all some of my best friends even. But if her and I break up I know they would choose to stay friend with her and they wouldn't even talk to me anymore. And one of her friends I've even taken an extra strong liking to. When I talk to her I feel like that is that "spark" or whatever. It makes me so mad. I would never ever cheat on my girlfriend, I don't want to hurt her. I want to be friends with her and the rest of them.
TL;DR: | My gf is almost perfect, but there's no spark. If we break up I will lose a lot of friends. I think I'm interested in one of her friends. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20F] with my friend [27 M] of a few months, I don't understand our interactions.
POST: I have a friend I sit next to 3 times a week in grad school. He's a nice, funny guy. I might have a little bit of a crush on him, but I figured that the romantic attraction is not returned, so I'm satisfied with being friends. However, he's acting funny and I thought someone might be able to shed some light on why.
We're friends on Facebook. We message a lot - sometimes about assignments, sometimes gossiping. We talked a little bit about his ex-girlfriend. He mentioned a bunch of girls in the class he was interested in. He calls me "dude" and "bro", so I figured that I'm like one of the guys and we're closer friends! We even talked a little about the kind of guys (me) and girls (him) that we're interested in, and I really thought we were developing more of a friend relationship.
Recently he won't talk to me in person. He talks much easier to his guy friends and rarely looks me in the face. He's very silent and stoic in person, not making any jokes. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Am I just a disappointment in real life compared to online?
TL;DR: | I have a guy friend who I interact great with online, but he clams up in person. What's going on? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [30 F] recently-ish divorced, ready to give up on dating and people entirely
POST: I was married for over 10 years, it ended in a pretty fucking shitty way several months ago. I'm ready to start dating, and unfortunately have been hurt a few times and having difficulty figuring out what I want.
On the one hand: I want to be in a relationship, as it's all I've known. On the flipside, I'm completely terrified of being hurt all over again. However, against my better judgment, I jumped in and tried to be positive/optimistic. People can't be all that bad, right?
The first guy I met lied about being single, we had sex, he then felt guilty and let me know what was going on. I felt like my heart had dropped, but learned my lesson. Maybe things moved too quickly.
I encountered a second guy, same thing. Lied about being single, kept that lie up for a while. I thought everything was great, I took a bit of time talking to him, we went on some dates. It didn't seem like anything was shady. After he dropped me off at home, I get a text message stating he and his ex "worked things out earlier" which I'm going to assume: he and his ex never actually broke up in the first place.
A third guy I met went in to clingy overdrive, wanting me to move in, blowing up my phone with pictures of his dick or sex talk 24/7.
I'm really pissed off and angry. I was doing well getting over the fact that how I envisioned my life is completely ripped away from me. Now I'm at the point where I have to start from the beginning doing something I never had to do in the first place, and dealing with the shitty rejection and guilt of knowing that I participated in someone else's problem, even if I didn't know what was happening.
I'm so terrified of rejection now, and terrified that the next guy that comes along is going to be more of the above, that I am starting to shut everyone down entirely.
TL;DR: | Divorced, back in the dating pool, having shit luck, ready to give up. What the fuck do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: (31/f) married to my husband (37/m) for two years. What can I do without his participation to help?
POST: We have a volatile relationship which can be alright on its own but he has gotten overwhelmed. He dumped me two weeks ago during a fight and then eventually retracted. He doesn't use that as an argument tactic so it is a pretty serious thing.
He has developed a story to himself that every thing I say is negative, that I am always being a bitch. I am very sensitive and emotional so I do see how that story developed. I however am really committed to this relationship, he is the best thing that's ever happened to me, I'm a better person with him. When he told me it was over it scared the daylights out of me and I desperately want to help him develop a new story about me. The fact is I am not always negative and bitchy though those are things that happen regularily (once or twice a month I would guess?). In the last month I have been extra extra careful to let more things go, to speak in a calm tone of voice when I do bring things up, to try harder not to get drawn into fights. Since the day he didn't end up breaking up with me I have tried to give him space. I am trying to give him physical space in hopes it will help him develop mental space as well. We interact some and I still hug him goodnight and try to show my affection.
He is so full of all negative thoughts and feelings he has that he can't hear anything positively or neutral right now. I spoke to him this morning in what I'm sure was a neutral and non confrontational way and he got immediately angry with me about the way I said it. My tactic isn't working apparently. I don't believe he would be open to hearing about this, he likely thinks there is nothing wrong and I am still just being a bitch all the time (and please understand I get how that developed, I am just really hopeful to be able to change it going forward)
So my question is, what can I do myself to help his story change, to help him develop enough space around his feelings to not start each interaction already overwhelmed?
TL;DR: | Husband overwhelmed and has an internal story that I am always being a bitch even when I am not. What can I do alone to help this story start to change? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Not entirely sure where to go from here. Unbiased advice greatly appreciated.
POST: So I (16f) have been with my boyfriend (17) for about a year and six months. Things were better in the beginning. But lately, our relationship has really flatlined. When we have text conversations, they rarely go beyond the most basic topics, like how are you and whatcha doin. The next step in our relationship physically is sex, which I haven't been ready for. So we're stuck there. We are really differential in interests, so we rarely talk about anything of substance. He talks of wanting to marry me someday and I know he really cares because he's pretty attractive to be honest and if he was with me for sexual reasons he could get it faster from someone else. I have big issues with the lack of conversation, similar interests, and that we barely get to see each other because he's working or with friends or his band. Sometimes it seems as though I'm put behind things that are kind of less important than the girl he wants to marry. My strictly platonic guy friends are more thoughtful than my boyfriend sometimes. Wat do.
TL;DR: | bf is great but not. Genuinely cares but isn't as thoughtful as man friends. Lackluster relationship. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I've been talking to this girl [both 21] for a few weeks and she just posted a picture with her ex kissing her cheek. What do?
POST: I met her about a month ago, she had recently broke it off with her bf of 4 years because he cheated on her. We hit it off and I got her number and have been texting her ever since. She made it obvious she liked me and visa-versa. we tried to meet up a few times but it never worked out because of our schedules. Anyway, she just posted a picture with her ex kissing her cheek. I don't know if they got back together or what, and I'm not sure what to do. Should I just move on, try to find out what's up, or just ignore it and keep talking to her?
TL;DR: | girl I've been talking to has been leading me on and now posted a picture with her ex, not sure how to proceed. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How to clean up my laptop to run games effectively again?
POST: Hey,
I have been lurking Reddit for a while now and finally decided to start an account as I have read and seen some helpful things on ask Reddit.
Anyway, I've had my laptop for about 2 and a half years now and it is starting to run games really slow. I used to be able to play games like tf2,lfd2, sc2 easily but as of late it has been running like a pig. It is very choppy when I play games and impossible to enjoy playing these because the lag/spikes become unbearable. Is there any way I can clean my laptop to run a little smoother until I get a new gaming computer (In the process of researching and buying the parts etc...)
My laptop is a HP Pavilion dv6- 1129x. Probably going to get down voted for being a noob/new to Reddit :S.
TL;DR: | Laptop running slowly, wondering if I can clean it up to run L4D2, TF2, SC2 until i get new gaming comp in about a months time. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Am I [16/M] too into the Relationship with my Girlfriend [16/F]?
POST: Hey guys, sorry to plague this subreddit with your stereotypical teenage questions, but I honestly can't stop thinking/worrying about this question.
Things got serious a few weeks ago. We started hanging out, kissing, so on and so forth. Whenever we're together, I just feel incredibly happy, like I don't have a care in the world. There's just nothing that compares to the feeling I get when holding her and we talk. We hang out once a week on the weekends since I have practice during the week, and as soon as we part ways I start longing for the next weekend to come around.
Don't take this the wrong way, I definitely don't mean any of this on a creepy level. Rereading what I just typed, I realize that could come off in a creepy/obsessive kind of way. I truly just enjoy her company and the time we spend together.
I wish we could see each other more often, as I only see her once in the halls all day, but I don't want to come off too strong, or her too think that I'm being weird/obsessive by wanting to spend more time together. I feel like we both have other friends that we should be spending time with, and that if I ask to hang out more than once a weekend she'll think I'm being clingy.
I guess what I'm asking is, am I overstepping a line here? Would asking her to hang out more often be like an invasion of space? Would it come off as needy/clingy? Once the spring season ends, would asking to hangout someday during the week come off in a similar way?
I should probably mention this is the first serious relationship I've had, and that she made the first moves to start it. Thank you so much!
TL;DR: | I want to spend more time with my girlfriend, does this come off as clingy, needy, or an invasion of space? |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Looks like I have to take out student loans.. HELP!
POST: For a number of reasons that are out of my control, my financial situation has tightened significantly in the last couple of weeks. I'm a student at LSU, and I'm currently meeting the criteria for a 100% tuition coverage scholarship. I live in an off-campus apartment thats similar in price to the dorms. Rent is $635 a month.
I was informed today that I'm going to need to take out loans in order to continue my standard of living - which I'm okay with. I'm a second year student so I only have two more years to go before I graduate. I'm guessing I'd need about $10,000 to make it through the next two years including food and everything. I plan on finding a job during the next school year and I have a number of paid internships (comp sci. student) that I have the possibility of getting. They'd probably pay around 16-17 $/hr.
What I'm wondering is this: what's the best type of loan to get? how should I set myself up to not get wrecked by debt coming out of school? I also have a credit card with a $900 balance on it that probably needs to go as well. I plan on paying off all of that this summer if I land one of these internships.
TL;DR: | Newly broke college student needs help with student loans; how to get them, where, and what they're gonna cost me |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (M17) am trying my best to help my girlfriend (F18) of 11 months through her mental health issues, but it's so hard to deal with sometimes
POST: So essentially my girlfriend struggles with OCD and psychosis, and I have been trying my best to be supportive and help her through tough times, however, I am struggling with bipolar disorder and anxiety which means at times it is hard for me to really be as helpful as I could be.
because of this, whenever I'm struggling and she needs to confide in me, I find it a lot harder to give her that attention, especially when it's over petty things such as "my mum won't do this for me" or "my teacher told me off today and it made me feel bad". she'll then either directly or indirectly (on social media) claim that she hates it when people lie about supporting her abnormal mental health issues.
this sort of thing happens almost daily and I am really starting to struggle with it. I've asked for space but she won't give it to me, and then subsequently guilt trips me about it. for example, we're moving to different cities for uni and she guilt tripped me into thinking that I was "leaving her behind". I do love her a lot, but I'm starting to lose my grip on why I love her, and I feel like I'm going to snap at some point soon and leave her, and that worries me. Am I being selfish about all of this? This has been really rambly but I'm just at a loss as to what to do.
TL;DR: | I need my girlfriend to understand that my patience can wear thin, and that I'm losing it because of her constant upheavals. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: [31M] chatting with [31F]
POST: A few weeks ago I started texting with this girl I met over okcupid. She is really nice to chat with and we have a lot in common. She was a in relationship for over 10 years, and hasn't dated since, and she has a little extra weight on her, so she is very apprehensive of meeting up. I am totally ok with texting until she is comfortable with meeting in person. My problem is this: I always have to initiate conversation, and she seems flaky to me. She is always on facebook. She works nights, so I don't know when she is up or not, but I will jump on facebook and see that she has been posting for hours. I am not stalking her, if that's what you're thinking, the shit just pops up on my news feed. So my questions is this: why does she never text me first? when I am texting with her, and I see that like 20 minutes after I sent her a text, she posts something to facebook, is she just ignoring me? what can I do to help her to feel comfortable with meeting in person?
TL;DR: | shy girl is always posting to facebook, and I feel like I am getting ignored. she is too shy to meet in person, how do I help her get over that? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: She [31F] is grieving over her dead ex boyfriend, I [22M] need help figuring out how to console her.
POST: I have been talking to Danielle for over a month now. She disclosed early on that her last boyfriend died 6 months ago and that she loved him deeply.
I haven't asked about details about his death because I don't want to cause her more pain by bringing it up.
I've been reaching out to her and trying to console her and show her that I care about her, and she's said she appreciates me taking the time to talk with her every day, but I'm not sure if I'm handling things as well as I could be.
She's told me that she's been emotionally distant with people when she's usually cheerful and happy, and that she doesn't know if she can make anyone happy again because she thinks she's too selfish and detached.
I asked if she's talked to a doctor about depression and even though she saw a grief counselor she doesn't think she has clinical depression.
I've been trying to show her that she's not the selfish monster she thinks she is and that she's just grieving. I've been telling her that I care about her and that she makes a lot of people happy and still can. I've been trying to talk through her issues and try to make her feel better about herself.
TL;DR: | Girl I'm talking to is depressed and withdrawn after ex's death and is scared she won't ever feel normal again. I'm not sure if I'm helping her as best as I could be. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [18/f] have a problem with infidelity in that I do not have a problem with it.
POST: My last two relationships have been quite different from each other. My current relationship with [18/m] is so far very good. We like each other, we talk all the time and do a lot of things with one another. My previous relationship with [16/m] did not go so well; different maturity levels and all of that. In that relationship is when I began cheating. There were two people from the Internet and one I knew before. We broke up because at that point I'd started to fall for someone unrelated to my other sexual partners and my current relationship is with this person.
A few weeks ago late one night I met with another male and his friend for an after party. We went back to their hotel and there was a lot of sexual tension between that male and myself, and we had sex.
I don't believe the inherent problem lies with the cheating itself, but in the fact that I don't feel guilty or see anything wrong with it. I'm a very sexually charged person, and I don't believe suppressing this in the moment when I feel attracted to someone is needed. It's only needed in the situation that my partner may find out. I can't understand why he should feel jealous or angry, but I get that it's a common reaction to infidelity. I don't know what exactly is the problem with my feelings towards this subject, I just know that there is a problem as it is my understanding that the majority of the population finds a moral issue in infidelity. I'm seeking insight.
TL;DR: | I cheat in relationships and do not see a problem with it apart from the fact that my partner may become enraged if he were to discover I did so. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Would it still be worth going for an engineering degree if I only did the bare minimum in high school?
POST: Like the title says, I slacked off in high school and only did what was required. I just started my first year of college as an education major and I'm really starting to second guess that. After talking with some engineering seniors, it sounds really interesting.
The thing is that I need a fair amount of classes before I can even start the major. Luckily my college (university of Alaska, anchorage) offers a pre-major program (don't know if that's standard everywhere else) for students wanting to go into ME. I'd need to take two algebra classes and trig, chemistry, physics (which, if I'm not mistaken, I can't take unless I know trig). I know I have the smarts for it, I just don't know if its worth the time requirement.
TL;DR: | I'd need to do 4 math classes, a physics class, and basic chemistry before I can even start the major. It may take almost 2 years to do that. |
SUBREDDIT: r/travel
TITLE: Can you bring alcohol back to the US from abroad if you are not 21?
POST: I'm going to Scotland in April and I am 20 years old. I thought it might be kind of fun to find some sort of alcohol there that they don't sell in the US for some friends, but I don't know the policy for transporting it. Obviously it's legal for me to buy it there, but is it illegal for me to bring it back in my checked luggage?
I'll go ahead and ask the immature question. If it is illegal, what are the odds of them finding a bottle or two of wine or w/e if it's in my checked luggage? If they do find it, will I get in trouble or will they just take it? And even if they do find it, will they know how old the person carrying it is?
TL;DR: | I'm 20 going to a country where I can legally buy alcohol. Can I bring it back to the US in my checked bag, if not, what will happen if they find it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [28 F] dating [28 M] for a month - exhibiting manchild behavior I think, am I right and should I shut it down or give him a chance?
POST: So I've been dating a guy for about a month and he's sweet and I do like him and am attracted to him a lot - the physical connection is great - but there's been some pretty big flashing signs of him being a manchild lately. I didn't really see any of this at the start but some signs recently have been: he says he doesn't know what to be when he grows up, doesn't like his job but also isn't motivated to change the situation, lives with 3 other dudes and their place looks like a college dorm (messy, dirty dishes, random furniture, spoiled food in the fridge), hungover on the weekend, focus is on just having a good time in the here and now ie going to bars and getting drunk with his mates - sports alcohol and the 'lads' seem to be the priority, not the greatest at communicating his feelings, poor personal hygiene at times and not much effort put into looking his best - sloppy and maybe 10 lbs overweight, flip flops, axe body spray, etc. All that being said I do honestly care about him and he's very sweet when we're together - liked him so much so I probably had blinders on about a lot of this. Am I being overly critical or is this pretty indicative behavior of a manchild? If so, do guys like this change easily or should I just cut my losses now?
TL;DR: | Dating a guy I like who may very well be a manchild - should I shut it down or give it a chance? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: So stupid of me
POST: My girlfriend, 22, of 3 years and I keep fighting about things I've done in the past. Approximately 2 years ago. She keeps asking questions about those times, and I answer them but the questions keep piling up and I have no clue what to do. I know it's my fault, I know this. So stupid of me to think back than that I could actually form a healthy relationship knowing the things I've put her through. It's frustrating to say the least because I am no longer that guy anymore... My fellow redditors, any advice? Should I continue to make it work or should I just leave...? Doesn't seem like the questions will ever stop.. Sometimes I get confused about what she's asking, she likes to ask in different variations.. I'm genuinely confused. Help?
TL;DR: | girlfriend of 3 years have been fighting about things that happened two years ago. Should I drop it and let it go or should I continue to try to make things up to her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [20/f] Dealing with Homophobic Parents
POST: So I came out to my parents over a year ago. My mom was fine with it. Completely fine with it. My dad wasn't.
About 3 months after coming out to them, I started dating a boy though. Which my dad was happy about since he had said, "just give men a chance!" So I did. I liked this boy and he liked me back, but something was just missing between us. We're best friends so we ended up breaking up in early June. (Also, he was forewarned that I'm a lesbian way before we started going out. I came out to my close friends about two years ago.)
Then I met this amazing girl and now we've been dating for about a month. The problem is, neither of my parents are okay with it now. My mom is being a complete asshole about it. The first time I told my parents about her, I didn't even call it a date. I just told them I was hanging out with a new friend. They immediately assumed it was a date and were not happy. My mom told me to "not give up on men just because the last one didn't work out!" I reminded her that I had come out to her the previous year and how accepting she was then. I guess she didn't believe me.
Both my parents have been less than supportive of me with this relationship. I suppose I can't make them support me, but I don't want them to hate my girlfriend. I don't want them to think she's a bad influence because I like her a lot. I don't know what to do. I guess this is more of a rant than anything.
TL;DR: | lesbian, came out to parents, one was fine, dated a boy, unhappy, now dating a girl, both parents are completely upset and hate it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: Help I'm being treated unfairly at work.
POST: Hi I'm using a throw away account since some of my friends know my account.
So let me start off by saying I'm a 19 y/o female and work at McDonalds. Ive been working here for about 4 months now. When i just started working I noticed I was being treated differently from the other workers but since I was new I thought it would blow over soon. It kept on going like this and now has gotten worse. The manager always yells at me for stuff I didn't do and always gives me horrible work schedules. I go to collage and he knows this yet he continues to put me to work when I have class. And now just this week he suspended me from working for a week because he said I "didn't greet a customer nicley." Please help I don't know what to do to make this stop. Any advice will be help full thank you.
TL;DR: | Work at McDonalds. I am being treated unfair since I got hired. Now am suspended for a week for not greeting a customer nicely. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, have you ever done something wrong (any which way) when you were very horny and despised your choice later and have from then on preferred to believe it never happened?
POST: It was one crazy tiring night and my best friend had decided to crash at my place, with his girlfriend. We weren't immediately sleepy after our late-midnight dinner, so we chose to watch a movie. I fell asleep even before they could decide which one to watch.
They watched it for some time I guess and since it was a single room in an apartment that I had to myself, they had to adjust in the same room. His girlfriend slept on the cot beside me as I was fast asleep and my friend didn't.
Later in the night, I roll around to find her in the bed. I just rolled a bit closer to her to let her know I was beside her. She moved her thighs over my d*ck (I don't know if that was intentional or whether she was doing this in her sleep) and I got more closer to her. In a brisk moment of foolish thought, I kissed her, only to be given back the same in return! We ended up kissing for some time until she slid her hand into my boxers. It ended with me having to go to bathroom to wipe the stuff off my tummy.
The next morning, we had a road trip planned, and it was the most awkward of silences that I have had to bear with. Things have gotten back to normal with her as both of us chose to ignore it and consider it something that happened when we were in stupor!
But, to this date I feel disgusted about the thought that I did it with my best friend's girl and have yet not revealed it to anyone.
TL;DR: | Friend and his girl crashed at my place. End up making out with her in sleep. Pretend that nothing ever happened. Still feel shitty about the whole thing. None but I and her know about this. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: My boyfriend 22[m] of 9 months is celibate and now he won't even make out with me 22[f]
POST: My boyfriend and I have been dating for 9 months. He's very strict in following a spiritual path and many of the followers of the tradition he follows are celibate. I have known this since we started dating and it was fine. However, now he says he can't even make out with me because it puts him in physical pain. I even suggested that we just make out once a month and he said no. It seems really selfish because I'm in emotional pain pretty much all the time because we don't share a lot of physical closeness. I respect how dedicated he is to his goals and beliefs and so I am trying to just be understanding. I can deal with not having sex but I don't understand why we can't even make out every now and then. What really worries me is, he's only been in one other relationship and it was with a man. However, he says he is straight. But, his actions make it hard for me to believe him and I just don't know what to think. He doesn't come off as gay at all, and he would get extremely turned on when we would make out in the past. I just don't know what to think or do. I don't want to break up with him. I really love him and we are similar and compatible in so many other ways. Does anyone have any advice for me?
TL;DR: | boyfriend is celibate and now he doesn't even want to make out with me. What to do **besides** breaking up? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: "Assholes get all the girls". What is the meanest thing you've ever done to someone a SO?
POST: This girl and I have broken up, but before we started dating, I thought I was madly in love in love her, but I was on my way to being put in the "friend zone". One night when she was out, she sent me a (drunk) text telling me she wanted to hang out with me. So I offered to come pick her up from the bar, but she wouldn't let me. She told me to come pick her up from her friends house, which was actually a guy, and when I pulled up they were making out on his front porch. Not knowing that I witnessed it, she got in the car, and tried to kiss me, and I stopped her and was like, "what the fuck was that???" She played dumb, and I started getting very mad, and as I got madder, I started driving faster, and I guess it really scared her, and she started demanding that I take her home, so I kicked her out of my car about 2 miles from her house, forcing her to walk home. I thought we were done talking for good at this point, but a week later she starts texting me and calling again, telling me how horrible she feels and how much she misses me, and within one more week, we are hanging out and screwing all the time like a happy little couple. Before all of this occurred, I always treated her like a princess, giving her her space, not being a dick, and she didn't want me at all. Then I totally endanger both of our lives, and force her to walk 2 miles in the middle of the night in a (sorta) shitty area, and she loves me? We've since broken up, and I actually regret ever dating her in the first place, because she was a horrible, mentally abusive person, but it is just an example of how playing nice doesn't always work.
TL;DR: | Was a gentleman, got treated like crap. Endangered her life, and she loves me. Wtf. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18 M] with my best friend [22 F] 1 year, asked out my best friend she stopped talking to me after a month
POST: Long Distance Friendship
I broke up with my gf because I felt like I loved my best friend (we were friends from more than 1½ year) i asked her out,She said no and said she loves someone else, We both agreed no one will bring up this topic again everything went to the normal way we used to text & call like we did before.
After 2-3 months of this event she stopped replying to my texts , stopped picking up my calls, she still comments on my posts likes my posts
My question is that does she don't wanna have the friendship anymore?
TL;DR: | broke up with gf to ask out bf , she said no and said she loves someone else and we can be still friends like before.stops talking to me after 1-2 months |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, I have to come up with almost 2 grand in the next month, or I have to move back in with my (fundie, right-wing) parents and put off my college education. How can I go about doing this?
POST: Backstory: I'm seventeen. I went to college early through a program for people like me who hate high school. It's a residential program, and it costs about eight thousand a year. After my first year there, I decided to come out to my parents as an atheist and be more honest about my left-leaning political beliefs. They went apeshit and said that they weren't paying for me to be brainwashed, and if I wanted to go back to that place, I'd have to pay for it all, myself, up front.
I already have a job. I'm about two grand short, and the money is due by August 20th.
I don't know anything about getting grants. Also, my parents won't cosign on a loan, and I don't have any ability to get one for myself.
TL;DR: | I don't want to move back in with my parents, and I don't want to go back to highschool. How do I raise two grand in a month? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: USPS Lost My Package - possible steps?
POST: So, I placed an order on Amazon (which included a 2TB Hard Drive, which to me expensive enough to not be taken lightly).
I put in my shipping address as my office. This past Tuesday, I check the status of the order and it says that it was delivered the previous Saturday. I am confused. My office is closed on Saturday.
So first I check with my mail room. Nothing. I call USPS and open up a case. They call me back and I am in a meeting, so they leave a message "Package was delivered on Saturday *click*"
I check again with my mail room guys and we look through, no package. It was clearly never delivered. Then, I ask what post office our mail is routed through. I go to the post office and they send me back around to the actual sorting warehouse/facility (couldn't they check back there for me?) So I go around, check in with the security guard and ring the doorbell at the loading dock. I finally get a manager and she takes me through the facility (kinda neat to see behind the curtain) and no, my package is not sitting where it should be. I give her my phone number and she says she will call if she finds anything. I am not hopeful.
I call back and tell customer service the story again, but haven't heard back from them.
At this point, I am pretty sure my package was lost. Someone listed it as "delivered" to get it through the system and then put it somewhere where it got pushed to the side. Does anyone have any suggestions for what course of action I should take? It was plain old Amazon "Super Saver Free Shipping". Not sure what I can do. Thanks so much.
TL;DR: | USPS lost my package from Amazon and I need to know if I have any options for retrieval or reimbursement. Thanks! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [Dating] How do I [20M] approach a guy [21?M] I'm attracted to in my lecture?
POST: Hey everyone,
I'm a third-year transfer student, and this is my first quarter at my new university. I'm also attracted to someone (let's call him J) in one of my major courses. It's been a while since I've dated anyone (like a year and a half) and I'm sorely out of practice w/r/t making moves.
I'm fairly certain J's interested in guys based on personal gaydar and the fact that he talks about LGBT stuff in class pretty frequently. He seems very smart and always has interesting things to say during class. But he and I haven't talked one-on-one--I've actually never talked to anyone in class unless it's in discussion. We make regularly eye contact during class, and I've caught him looking at me (usually a couple of times a class). This is kind of a small and stupid thing to be happy about, but today I actually smiled at him when we made eye contact and he smiled back! So there's that.
My problem is this: the quarter is almost over, and I worry I'm too late with this. I'm hoping to talk to him at one of the next class meetings we have, but I don't know how to do this. As I said, super out of practice.
I can't figure out a way to ask for his number or Facebook in a way that isn't blatantly romantic. I've considered ye olde study group excuse, but I'm not sure that would work for this class, considering we don't have exams. I am pretty sure I can handle the situation after I've established a friendship with him, but that's where I'm stumbling. Does anyone have any ideas?
TL;DR: | I'm attracted to a guy in my lecture, and I want to get to know him better. How do I do this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Do I [20F] have a right to get pissed off due to the flakiness of my date [22M]?
POST: Well, long story short, I met this guy on his second night in my city. He had moved here from one state over and he was out at a bar with some buddies. We talked, had a few beers and the rest of our friends left while we stayed and gabbed the night away. We exchanged numbers and he took me out for dinner a couple days ago.
It went really well and I do like him but today he said he would meet up with me at 1 to take me to the museum, but I waited for 45 minutes. I decided to call him and ask him where on earth he was and he said that he thought we were meeting at 2. I told him to forget about it and that I was heading home.
He apologized after I hung up and when I got home, he asked for another chance, that he wanted to see me tonight. I asked him what time and he hasn't responded. And I'm spewing anger right now! I didn't want to make it a big deal since we're not exclusively dating or anything but how can I make it clear to him that I'm not going to waste any more time on him if he doesn't smarten up? I already gave him a second chance by agreeing to meet up with him tonight but he hasn't even responded (plus I know when he reads my iMessages because he has the delivery/read notice turned on..). I hate to sound like a psycho. Any advice?
TL;DR: | Flakey guy took me out, had a great time. Stood me up today, asked for a second chance, is intentionally ignoring me. What do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Going in for a Lumbar Puncture (Spinal Tap) in a few days and am pretty terrified. Is it that bad?
POST: On a scale from 1 to 10, my fear is at 11. (Sorry, had to get that out of the way.)
I've had severe balance and dizziness issues for over two months now. I walk like I'm drunk all the time and now require a cane. I woke up one day and it was there. I've seen about 10 or 12 doctors and tried about 10 different medications. Nothing has helped and they still have no idea what is causing it. MRI came back ok and blood showed under-performing thyroid which they don't think is the cause of all this.
ENTs have said they are almost completely certain it has nothing to do with my ears. Finally go to the neurologist who ordered the Spinal Tap along with additional MRIs. I gave 18 vials of blood a couple days ago too for additional testing.
So now in a couple days, I need to go in for the spinal tap. I've heard horror stories about how they were a long time ago. Not too sure how much it has advanced. What is the pain like? Do they use something to numb the area (i've read yes and no)? Am I out of commission the whole day?
Here's the main problem: I've always been squeamish around my spine. I don't even like my girlfriend touching my back near my spine with her finger. It really makes me squirm. Just one of those things. Now, having a needle stuck in there seems like a nightmare. Look at that thing:
Ugh..
TL;DR: | Have had balance issues for over two months. Neurologist ordered a bunch of tests including a spinal tap. I am squeamish of anybody or anything touching my spine. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Car payment issues. Trying to help a friend in need.
POST: My best friend contacted me last night needing help. He asked me If I knew how to lower the cost of auto registration/insurance in CA or if I knew where to get a loan with "not the best credit". I believe he needs to come up with around $1000 to cover his auto costs. If he doesn't his jobs and school will be in jeopardy as he will have no transport. If i had the money id give it too him, however i just paid my tuition and whatnot for school. So im broke as a joke.
He has no parents (one in prison, one passed away) so a cosigner is not an option. He works two jobs to support his kid (my god child) all summer and is starting college tomorrow morning. I want to help but i dont know how.
Are there any credit unions that might give him a loan, or are there any social welfare programs that might help his situation? He works incredibly hard and could use the money.
TL;DR: | 22 year old working two jobs to pay for school and family can't afford auto registration/insurance thus threatening his job/school security. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My boyfriend [19/M] wants to buy an apartment and live with me [17/F]
POST: My boyfriend of 1 year is going to college next year, and so do I. He lives in another state, and we can only see each other in at least every 3 months. He began to make plans to earn money so we could buy an apartment and live together in my city. I said that we are too young for that (or at least I am), but I would love to do that in the future, and nothing would make me happier. He got angry and sad, and then slept. Next day, he was acting normal, but I feel like he doesn't take our relatioship seriously anymore. What should I do?
TL;DR: | My boyfriend [19/M] of 1 year wants to live with me [F/17], but I think we're too young for that. Now he won't take our relationship seriously anymore. |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: I had a run-in with the police last night but I wasn't arrested or cited, what should I expect? (Ft Myers, FL)
POST: Hi guys,
I was recently in FL for spring break, but was flying out last night. I had been drinking for most of the day but I got an uber to the airport and got to my gate with no problems. A police officer came up to me while I was having a beer in the bar next to the gate and told me the gate manager was annoyed with me (I had left a bag out that was taking up concourse space), and that I should apologize so that he would let me on the flight. Alas I was too late, and he told me he wasn't letting me on the flight that night. He changed my ticket to the first flight out in the morning, and helped me get a bed at the airport hotel. The officer asked for my licence as part of his report (I'm 23) but he did not say that I was being cited for anything. He walked with me to the shuttle, was very polite and friendly, and told me to get home safe the next day. My question is 1) what should I expect? He didn't tell me I was being cited or charged and let me go on my way (under my own power while having a decent conversation) I wasn't being disorderly, and I was 100% cooperative with all the parties involved. Am I still likely to be cited? If so, what can I expect?
TL;DR: | the gate manager wouldn't let me on my flight but he got me a later one and a hotel bed, an officer looked at my licence but didn't say I was being cited, what can I expect (if anything)? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Need help figuring out a costume. Homeless Mustard or Epic Beard Guy? Or...?
POST: I'm having trouble thinking of a costume. While all you thin bastards have a plethora options to choose from for characters, a fat person like myself just can't do that as it will always be seen as "A fat version of _____."
With this said, I'm considering being Homeless Mustard (which would be nice because I'd have an excuse to get a bit noodley and practice my guitar) or Epic Beard Guy. But if I go as EBG, I need a black friend to go with me dressed as the gangster guy (or maybe Antoine Dodson?) that i can wail on throughout the night.
TL;DR: | I'm having a hard time thinking of a character I can go as. Preferably, its someone with a beard, as I don't like shaving. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Realtor stole our 2400 deposit, what to do?
POST: Hey everyone, so we were shown this place by Rapid Realty in NYC (everyone seems to have a story about Rapid..) and it turned out not to have the legal utilities by move in (even though we were promised they would be there). Landlord could not even provide us with solid dates about when they would be installed so we got lease nullified, we moved out and our 1st months rent returned.
Our $2400 security deposit however.. went to Rapid Realty as a brokers fee (since it was a 'no fee' apt one month goes to landlord, security goes to realtor as brokers fee). They are now refusing to refund our money even through we payed them directly and ended up with an illegal to inhabit apt!
So anyone else been in a similar situation? I know I could take them to housing court but how long does that take - 6 months at best? I'm thinking on threatening both legal action and launching a wide ranging negative ad campaign blanketing Yelp, Google Reviews, Craigslist, anything I can find for as long as it takes, then continuously update them with the links until they cave. Thoughts?
TL;DR: | Realtor stole $2400 and refuses to refund it even though the apt they showed us was literally illegal to inhabit - what next, legal action? Internet justice? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: I am not sure how to deal with my ex, if you could even call him an ex.
POST: So a little more than a year ago, I started seeing this guy who I worked with at a gym. He was 23 and I was a few months away from being 18. He came on to me, he was a lifeguard, while I was swimming at our gym. He came across as sweet and charming, so I gave him my number. I broke off my current relationship that was not going well at all to see where things were going with this new guy. So, we went on a few dates, worked out with each other, went swimming, a dinner or two. He then pressured me into having sex with him. I told him I never slept with a guy this early in a relationship, but he had away of making me feel safe. I obliged a little and gave him head. So, we go on another date and we end up having sex. Well, two days later he breaks things off saying it wasn't because he had sex with me, but because the age difference bugged him. I did not believe him for a second. However, upon further thinking, the age did make sense, so I forgave him.
Fast forward a month later, he apologizes to me and I buy into it being the naive kid I was, and he used me for sex two more times, then told me I was a worthless slut. He started spreading rumors about me all over work about how I was so easy. He also was sleeping with a 16 year old while talking and sleeping with me. I was crushed. I had to maintain my pride at work until it became too much, and I left that job. He had some part in it, and my boss played the other part that caused me to finally leave.
Fast forward to current time. So he started texting me off a fake number, and started asking to hook up with me as a fake alias named Trevor. Turns out it was him, and now he won't leave me alone. I know ignoring him is the best option, but now he won't leave me or my boyfriend alone. I thought when I left there, things would get better, but they just have not, and blocking him from everything does not seem to be helping.
TL;DR: | a sort of ex came back into my life through texting on a fake number, I want nothing to do with him but blocking his number has not helped. Not sure what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Need advice regarding mortgages deposits and exchanging foreign currencies (UK)
POST: Ok, so my personal finances are stressing my out to an extreme.
Where to begin, my fiancée and I are planning on buying our first home together this year. We are looking at a house at around 100k gbp and my fiancée has around 26k in her bank account, between us we have another 3k in our bank and she has an unknown amount in shares left by her grandparents, that at the minute is a mystery (looking into it). We also (fingers crossed) have 50k coming from her mother from which she is giving us from her selling her own house to downsize...
We also have $22k aud in an Australian account and are currently earning 4.95% interest per annum. Not sure what to do with this? Leave it in there to gain interest as interest over here is 0.5%apr and wait until the exchange picks up. Or take the market as it is at 0.55gbp to 1 aud and exchange the money to put towards the deposit of the house.
So to summarise, in our bank accounts 3k gbp & $22k aud, in her account 26K gbp. 29000gbp plus $22000aud possibly an additional 50000 gbp plus ???gbp
so best case scenario 100k gbp worst case scenario 40k gbp
So do we put whatever we can to get the lowest mortgage possible maybe even mortgage free or do we put in a certain amount and get a low mortgage?
Now just to make matters more confusing most of the money is in my fiancée name, however she can not get a mortgage due to low credit rating and would need to go through my name, therefore all money must be under my name to get a mortgage if we get one. Advise?
Jesus even typing it made this seem less stressful! If anybody has any advice whatsoever regarding anything mentioned please let me know could do with any advice...
TL;DR: | money scattered around the globe, need advice on when best time to collect money and should I go mortgage free if I can? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My ex [19 F] Dropped Me Like a Fly Once She Lost Interest in Me [18 M]
POST: We had a really good thing going, as all relationships go hahaha however after Emily went camping with her friends 3 weeks ago she began to act differently, like the signs you get before they break up. This was going on up until today, getting worse each day, and today it was break up ba bam. I feel like her friends had some influence on her decision though.
She told me how she wasn't sure if she wanted to continue the relationship because she simply lost interest about 3 weeks ago, coincidence? I could see she wasn't interested; not answering my texts, and overall the relationship became one-sided, and she basically avoided me. So when she told me that she simply lost interest without reasoning, ("Its natural"), it felt like she dropped me once she got tired of me, kinda like a toy. I don't feel horrible, breakup-wise since I saw it coming 2 weeks ago, just feel used really, which is the sad feeling. I was more mad/annoyed that she didn't talk about her feelings with me beforehand, and felt like she pretty much lead me on since then. I talked about the situation with two of my close girl friends, one said that Emily lost interest, the other one said that Emily was nervous. She was going to uni faraway, which was a good reason, in my mind, why she broke up, so I won't be holding her back. However two days ago we talked about us, since she was acting differently, and she said she wanted to stay together after summer...ouch.
She was a super nice person, so when I asked do you want to end this relationship today, she immediately answered yes. Got whip-lashed by the sudden and sure response, it took a second or two to register since she never acted this way. What really annoyed me was how she straight up avoided me rather than fix the problem.
I don't really know what to do as of now, besides motivate myself to be a better me. Any advice? Thanks for reading too, needed to vent out a bit.
TL;DR: | She avoided me until I asked whats going on, annnd broke up with me, got dropped like a fly once she lost interest in me. Don't really know how to continue as of yet. Rock climbing? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Help me reddit. I have to become financially independent in less than a month.
POST: My boyfriend and I recently separated (his decision). It's been exactly one week since I moved out of my boyfriend's apartment with our daughter. I have since been looking for jobs, but I have a big problem.
I am a full time student with one year left before I get my Bachelor's Degree. I don't see how I'm going to be able to be a full time student, a full time mom, and have a full time job.
I'm pretty sure my SO will not be getting back together with me. I've been panicking for days about what to do, and all emotions aside, my goal is to be able to provide for my child. SO is sending child support money, FYI, but I want to be self sufficient.
My question is: should I apply for welfare, stay in school for one more year, and try to just work part time until I graduate? Or do I drop out, and try to get the best full time job I can find?
I currently have $300 to my name (my family gave me money for my birthday yesterday). I do NOT have a car. The most valuable thing I own is my guitar, which I'm currently trying to sell.
I called my SO and asked if I could move back home and work things our together instead of separate. The decision to move out was mine, because I didn't see how we could be "separated" in a one bedroom apartment. He told me that I was stuck with my decision, and that he needed space.
So now that I know moving back home isn't happening any time soon, I need to figure things out. I'm off my winter break next week, and I'm supposed to go back to class. I have to figure out what to do within the next few weeks so that I'm not a burden to my family.
Also, my SO and I are starting counselling next Tuesday. I don't know what kind of good it's going to do, but I know it's important to tell you guys the details.
TL;DR: | My boyfriend dumped me, I moved out with our 1 year old daughter, and am trying to figure out if I should drop out of school to go to work, or get on welfare to finish my last year of school. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21F] with my Roommate [21 F] boyfriend has been staying at our place most of the summer and she did not tell me and refuses to make him pay for anything.
POST: So I left to stay at home for the summer and will I go back visit apartment but have not been able to go back yet because I have been doing some job stuff in my hometown but I am still paying full half of my stuff. My roommate has been staying there all summer and I found out that her boyfriend has been living there too. She refuses to admit to me that he is when I can clearly see that the electricity bill shows that two people are living there and that it is impossible that just her would cost the average of me and her living there together for a month. I asked if he can help with the cable/internet bill, and she refuses to make him help out because she said its a flat rate and it doesn't go up if its being used.
I am getting upset that I'm paying for her boyfriend to use our stuff for FREE when I don't use it AT ALL. I don't know if i'm being unreasonable but I think its unfair that he will not help out at all and when I asked her how many times he has been there and how much and she said that is a strange/unreasonable question to ask because I am not there. I pay for half of the place I have the right to know whose staying there.
TL;DR: | Roommate bf been living at our place and she refuses to help him pay when I'm basically paying for him to live there. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What is the funniest practical joke you've successfully carried out? (Possibly NSFW)
POST: I'll start...three years ago, my (now ex) gf and I were in the middle of an intense missionary style kama sutra when the idea of scaring her half to death came upon me. During the our sexy times, i suddenly stopped inside of her and uttered a sigh of relief (implying I was done). She suddenly started freaking out because she wasn't on birth control at the time (she was 17). She started quietly (my whole family was home) freaking out and yelling at me. I managed to keep my composure until we were inside of walgreens with the morning after pill in hand. Safe to say I was fapping all by my lonesome for the next week.
TL;DR: | Faked finishing inside my gf - kept my composure all the way till we were in line for the morning after pill |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 M] with my ex [F19], been broken up a while, finally being friendly again, but still so many unanswered questions/confusion...what do I do?
POST: We dated for a brief but very intense 6-7 months. Admittedly we went against our better judgment and fell madly in love with one another.
One thing lead to another, insecurities and uncertainty took hold and things were "ended." We kept seeing each other on and off "friendly" (making out etc). We talked about what happened a bit, but one thing we both made clear was the chance at getting back together. She looked me dead in the eye and told me this.
Last time I saw her was one my birthday, we went out to a nice dinner, I gave her a belated birthday gift, and we had a moment.
Mind you we hadn't seen one another in about two months at this point. We had our moment and....that's it we spoke maybe once over the phone since then. Her telling me that she just isn't thinking about romance at all.
A solid month and a half later, she has a nice new, skinny hipster boyfriend. Now I've never lied to her, at all. Not once. I pride myself on being an honest person it's brought me nothing but good. And still don't understand/ can see clearly why she lied to me.
Cut to now: We've been talking, even been friends to a degree. Texting etc. And in some sick twist of fate our schedules always seem to clash while trying to make plans for coffee and an actual talk. And odd air between us, we both know their could be something...
TL;DR: | We broke ambiguously. Now an odd atmosphere has arisen between us, one of uncertainty. And there I'm still utterly confused by her. What do I have to do? (Besides grow a spine and move on). |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by watching buzzfeed
POST: Maybe the real FU is not using headphones
so I come from a very religious family and they don't take kindly to being gay. I am straight, but my mom had accused me of being gay several times.
Earlier I was [watching Buzzfeed] and at around 4 minutes in they start to give advice on how to come out. Well, I guess my mom had passed my room and heard that and assumed I was watching videos on how to come out. She pounded on my door, told me to turn that shit off, and hasn't talked to me since.It's very possible she might kick me out the house if she thinks im gay.
TL;DR: | today I fucked up by watching Buzzfeed, getting a lesson on how to come out, and convincing my mom I'm gay. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [26M] found out that my father [55M] is currently having an online relationship with a woman [40ish F] that lives in another continent. Should I tell my mother [55F] about this?
POST: They have been married for around 27 years now. Things have been shaky for a long time since they don't even sleep in the same bed anymore (around 5-7 years now).
I noticed a strange behavior when I saw him posting a song on FB and then I saw that a woman I didn't know commented saying "I love you.", I suspected something was going on but I didn't tell my mother about this at all.
Yesterday I visited them and he had a problem on his iPad, I checked it out and noticed tons of messages being exchanged between him and this woman. This is not purely a online sexual affair since there's really lots of "I love you" being exchanged and how he finally met someone that understands him. There's also nudes being exchanged from what I saw and he regularly calls her at late hours in the night.
I didn't tell anyone about this but I'm afraid what might happen to my mother since she lets him handle all their money and doesn't have a bank account on her name. They also recently bought a house with their money they have been saving for decades.
Currently the woman that he's having an affair with, lives across the world with her husband and two kids. My other problem about telling my mother about this is that I lent my father some money and if I drop the bomb I doubt I will see the money again.
So, yep... I'm currently lost and I don't know what I should do about this.
TL;DR: | Father [55M] is currently cheating on my mother [55F] with some woman [40ish F] that lives in another part of the world. Don't know what I should do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Friends(19) with an ex(23). (4mh) Why does he lie about seeing other people?
POST: Throw away since he knows my UN.
So I have dated this guy for 4 months. We broke up but decided to go ahead and stay as friends. We go to same university. We hang out a lot. He is also my lab/projects partner. So we spend a great deal of time working/studying together and we get along well.
Although sometimes I find him atteactive I can safely say the attraction is not there anymore. I am over the guy but I like spending time and working with him.
He recently started dating someone. I have been told so by a mutual friend and also I can see it clearly from the changes in his overall behaviour. Not my business. No one likes to be replaced of course but I am not expecting him to stay single forever so it is only natural that he sees people.
Yet while we were chatting about random stuff he told me that he doesn't want anyone in his life right now and I was like "You are seeing someone anyway. I know you" and he said "no, seriously there was no one after you and I don't want anyone for a long time"
I don't see why he is lying. He cannot be considering me as a plan b. Because honestly I haven't done anything to make him think I am interested in going back to a relationship. I tell him about my dating adventures for heaven's sake. I am sure he is also not interested in dating me. So what's his deal?
TL;DR: | ex and I are friends. Work together, study togrther etc. he is seeing someone and lying about it. I can't see why. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm (32) obsessed with my boyfriend's (34) ex-mistress (34)
POST: My boyfriend and I have been together for three years, lived together for two years, and we had what I thought was a happy life together. We had our normal share of ups and downs until I found out a year ago that he'd been cheating on me with a friend of his. I'd never met this woman, but I knew they were friends from Facebook and Instagram.
I was devastated, he begged forgiveness, we almost broke up, we didn't, things are sort of better. The point is, we're still together, and I'm determined to keep it that way. I made him take her off Instagram/Facebook/Twitter when I found out, and he promised never to contact her again. I believe he's held up to that, but the problem is that I am obsessed with her social media now. I can't stop ~~checking out~~ stalking her social media. I am so angry at this woman, I hate her for what she did to our relationship, but I can't stop wondering about her, her life, why my boyfriend had an affair with her. She's in what looks to be a happy relationship now and it makes me so angry that I literally see red. My relationship is still healing from the horror she brought on us and there she is, happy and in love and I hate it. It's gotten to the point where I check her social media every day and it ruins my mood when I see a picture or a status where she looks or sounds happy. I usually end up yelling at my boyfriend for something stupid because I'm so angry about this woman.
I know this is unhealthy and it's got to stop but I don't know how to do it. I don't know if I should talk to my boyfriend about it (he's never told me much about her and I never asked much because I didn't want to know), if I should somehow confront her to find out her side of the story or what, but something has to change because this is ruining my life.
TL;DR: | My boyfriend had an affair. Now I'm obsessed with his ex-mistress's social media/life and it's making me crazy. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Hit rock bottom this weekend. Advice on side income?
POST: Reddit, I hit rock bottom this weekend. A little background – I work in IT and have a good job. I have a large family to support and the bills are becoming overwhelming. I'm not behind on any payments, but it's been progressively getting harder and harder to make ends meet. I know this time of year is hard with getting the kids the things they need to get back to school, but this weekend I hit rock bottom, and it hit me hard. We had a Birthday party for one of the kids this weekend. We had to get some minor things for the party chips, pop, ice cream, and the cake. I knew my checking and savings account were down to just a couple bucks, but was planning on using my credit card to get these things since I don't get paid until this Friday. I grabbed all but the cake at one store and all was good. Next I swing by the place to get the cake my wife ordered. I get to the cash register, swipe my CC and it comes back denied. I was shocked because I had checked the balance the day before and had not made any other transactions other than the chips from before and there should have been enough to cover the cake. So, even though I knew it wouldn't work, I tried my debit card. This time the cashier says "it says insufficient funds". Of course there are tons of people all around. I had to walk out and leave the cake. Then to get into the car and the kids asked where the cake was….this was rock bottom for me. Turns out the interest was charged to the CC and that brought me up to my limit. So now for my question – does anyone have any good advice for side jobs and/or was to save money and get rid of debt? I know this problem is nothing new…it just really sucks. I've been scouring CL for contract work, but there doesn't seem to be a lot in my area.
TL;DR: | I'm broke and had to leave my childs Birthday cake at the register. Advice on side jobs and ways to save money? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: (30m) was planning to break up with (36f) after 4 months, but now find out she gave me an STI...
POST: I met this woman on okcupid in April. We had dinner and then ended up in bed. I wasn't really into her, but I'd been single a long time and I was lonely. We got together a few more times, and since I'm leaving town in September, I told her I wasn't up for anything serious or long term, which she said was fine with and didn't expect anything more.
Cut to more recently - we get together about once a week to have sex, which is fun, but not really what I need right now. She's starting to talk about long term plans and seems to be moving into relationship territory, rather than FWB. Not wanting to string her along, I was planning to end things, to try and go out on a good note so I can move on, and start focusing on the next stage of my life (the military, if it matters). I even got her a little goodbye gift, because even though I'm not really into her, she is a nice person and I did have a good time.
Problem is: she gave me an STI. I got tested in May and was clean, and i haven't been with anyone else since then. But now I'm worried that however I try to shape the ending of the relationship, it'll turn into "you gave me an STI, so I'm dumping you". I'm not mad at her about the STI, it's nothing that won't clear up after a round of antibiotics (though I am disappointed with myself for not being smart and practising safe sex the entire time). And as much as it would be easy to dump her and not mention the STI, that would also be horribly irresponsible.
TL;DR: | how can I still end the relationship and make it clear that I'm just not into her, rather than have her think I'm dumping her because of an STI? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (16 M) am starting to develop very strong feelings for one of my very good girl friends (16 F), who has a boyfriend. I have no clue where to go.
POST: So as the title says, i am hopelessly falling for my very good friend. I know you probably get a ton of these posts, but i have no clue where to go. Just as some background knowledge, we go to the same school, are in the same "friend group" so to speak, so everytime we all hang out we are there with each other, so it's not like I never see her. We text or call each other for hours on end each day. We usually call each other late at night on occasion, but usually just text each other all day. We stay up hours into the night talking about life stuff, and we confide a lot into each other. We are going to be juniors in high school, and i can't help but not like her. She's wicked fun to be around, makes me laugh, isn't conceited and shallow like a lot of other girls, and is just all around perfect imo. Problem is, she has a boyfriend. We plan to go to movies together/hang out, which sounds like she may be into me in the slightest, but this may just be me hoping at this point. She doesn't have any problems hanging out with me alone, which is nice. But idk what do man. DO i tell her, or just leave it alone until another time?
TL;DR: | I am deeply attracted to one of my good girl friends, and we are very close. Problem is she has a boyfriend. Do i tell her, or wait until the time is right? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [17 M] don't see the point in putting effort into relationships in high school
POST: So I bit the bullet and asked a girl out, and we've gone on 2 dates so far. One very late night, when I usually get depressed and existential, I realized that there is pretty much nothing positive that can come as a result of a high school relationship. This thought stuck with me, even in the morning.
What's the point in putting in emotional and physical effort, spending money, and just overall getting invested in it, when not only is it unlikely to last long after high school, if it makes it that far, but chances are I'll never interact with her after high school again?
Just because I think that a variant of "you're afraid you'll get your heart broken" is probably going to be commented, I'll preemptively say I don't believe that's the reason.
TL;DR: | Are my friends right when they joke that I'm a robot, or is there actually any sense in my thought process? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 F] was dating a [23 F] and would like to again.
POST: Essentially what happened is 6 months ago I was dating this girl, she was fantastic, had a lot of fun, really looked to go the distance. The only issue was that I met her at a time when I was unemployed and becoming severely depressed. We had only been dating for about a month or so and I decided to end it. It was really a matter of I was not in the right place mentally for a relationship and felt that I was dating her for the wrong reasons(to cheer me up and fill a void rather than find someone I truly care about).
So now, about 7 months later I've started dating again... I have a factory job that pays well that I actually like, I'm 9 units away from my bachelors degree and generally I'm back to my usual self... back to the person **I** like.
So now the question is how to approach this, I've still got her number. She has a facebook but I'm not friended to her... but either way I can get in contact. Should I be direct and basically just tell her that I'd really like to date her again? or should I try to explain the situation of what was happening with me at the time?
TL;DR: | Ended a short(but nice) relationship with a girl due to personal problems. Now would like to rekindle such relationship(as I've solved the personal problems), but not sure how to approach. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Which one of your memories stands out to you as the moment your childhood ended? I'll start.
POST: When I was 6 I started the daunting task of reading a chapter book. The title was, Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone. Ever since the day I stated my life was wrapped up in Harry Potter. Posters, toys, movies but most importantly books. I would pretend to be sick so I could stay home from school and read.
I was not a popular kid, but through reading these books I felt as though Ron and Harry were my best friends. I had and will always have the biggest crush on Hermione.
When the last book came out I was excited. I dragged my mom to Walmart at midnight the day of the release so I could finally start the last part of the journey.
It took my 2 and a half days of reading. There was love, hate, joy and sadness. The last book ended perfectly, although Ron ended up with Hermione instead of me. I closed the cover and cried. I cried because I felt as though my best friends and I had just said our goodbyes forever. I cried because the childhood awe and wonder I felt though the books was never to be felt again. Harry, Ron, and Hermione had grown up and moved on from their childhood adventure. That's when I realised I had to also.
TL;DR: | I read the Harry Potter series throughout my childhood. When I finished it I cried and realised Harry, Ron and Hermione moved on from their childhood adventure and that I had to also. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [20/f]I suggested an open relationship and I'm not sure if I can stomach my boyfriend[24/m] perusing other women.
POST: My boyfriend and I have been together for three years now and six months ago we decided to try an open relationship. It was something that had been brought up in a drunken night that was immediately shot down by me. I've always been a very sexual person though so the more I thought about it, the more the idea grew on me so I asked him for an open relationship which he was fine with, he just wants me to be happy.
Fast forward a few months and I've been with quite a few guys and he still hasn't found a girl yet. He then tells me last night that he has been talking to this girl for about a week and they're going out tomorrow(tonight) and then going back to her house to watch movies.
I don't know why but this made me extremely uneasy and gave me a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. I just don't know how to explain it to him. I don't want him to think that I'm being selfish, sleeping with other guys only to change my tone and not want him to sleep with other people. I'm honestly okay with the sexual sides of things, I'm happy for him and I actually find it rather hot that he's going to be with another girl. I think the side of it that makes me uncomfortable is him developing a friendship with this girl and texting her all the time like he was yesterday. I was put on the back burner all day because he was constantly texting this girl.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend and I are in an open relationship and he's finally taking advantage of it but I'm not as okay with it as I thought I would be. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Dogtraining
TITLE: Untraining a former hunting dog
POST: I have a Bluetick Coonhound who is about 4 or 5 years old according to the shelter we adopted her from. She's such a sweet, docile and calm dog when she's around humans. She is very tolerant of little kids petting her and loves attention from adults.
I've noticed in the 6 months I've had her that she has a few troublesome quirks that I think resulted from her hunting dog training. The biggest problem is her reaction to small animals (birds, squirrels, and cats). She will lunge after them and attempt to tree them (run them up a tree) which is a pretty common practice in coon hunting in our area. She has a fantastic nose, but her sense of smell often causes problems because she'd rather follow her nose than the leash when on walks. She also doesn't like to play with toys. She shows no interest in retrieving or tugging like a lot of dogs I've owned in the past have, which leads me to believe she was probably a dog kept in a kennel outside and mostly used for breeding (she had a litter of puppies at the shelter and they think she had been pregnant prior to then as well).
Does anyone have any suggestions for taking the hunt out of a dog? I feel like I've been getting wrongfully upset with her for things that aren't her fault, just the fault of the person who owned her before me.
TL;DR: | Bluetick Coonhound likes to tree cats, follow her nose on walks, and doesn't play with toys. How do I undo her former hunting training? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: I [19/M] want to date a friend of a friend, how can I get her to notice me?
POST: A bit of relevant context - I'm a 19y/o male with pretty much no experience of relationships or dating. The reason being that I don't tend to notice that I like a girl until it's too late to try anything (ie. until I've been friendzoned). So I'm asking for advice on here because I don't want to fuck things up because I'm in a situation now where I know things can go well.
There's a girl I fancy, and I knew almost immediately that I fancied her (which I don't do often). She's one of my best (female) friend's friends - we were introduced briefly at a pub few weeks ago and we spoke a little and I felt some chemistry, some flirty signals on her end, but I haven't seen her since. I've told my friend that I fancy the girl and she said that she'll try to hook me up.
Anyway in a few days the girl in question is visiting my friend, and we're gonna go out to a few pubs as a small group. I don't really know much about the girl (as I said we only spoke briefly) but I think I'd definitely like to date her. So I guess what I'm really asking is what can I do to get her to notice me, and to notice I'm interested? I'm not terrible socially, I just don't tend to do this sort of thing which is why I'm asking advice.
TL;DR: | I'm going out with some friends and a girl I would like to date will be there - how can I get her to notice me and notice that I'm interested? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26F] with my best friend/ex [29M] He came out as gay years ago but I'm still in love with him. Should I tell him?
POST: We've been friends since right after college and we also dated briefly (3 months). We broke up, he came out, and we stayed friends. I haven't dated anyone since then and he always tries to set me up, but the truth is I've been in love with him this whole time.
He is truly my best friend and the person who understands me more than anyone, but it's getting to the point where it's actually painful for me to be around him. Several months ago he hooked up with a woman "out of curiousity" and it pretty much broke my heart. I don't think he's trying to hurt me, I just think he's oblivious that I feel this way.
I now feel like something has to change. It's kind of unbearable to consider admitting that I've felt this way the whole time we've been friends, and the probability that he would reject me is too much. Is it selfish/unreasonable of me to end the friendship? It's destroying me to even think about that, but it's also destroying me to keep going the way we have been.
I just need some input.
TL;DR: | Best friend is gay and I'm in love with him. I don't know how to tell him or if I even should. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: This is probably it...tell me I'm doing the right thing.
POST: 26 male / 22 female
Hey, been with this girl for just over three months...we have a good time together and the sex is great. However, she doesn't include me in her social life outside of us. She has many guy friends, and is also friends with her exes, and yes they hang out. Last Thursday we talked about this and I asked her to include me in her total social life. That weekend she was with her girlfriend that is just about leaving so it was a going away party of sorts, this happened the weekend before as well, same chick, going away, which pissed me off. So she blew me off and asked that I wait and things would change. She almost always neglects to mention who she's with, and 'girls night' turns into meeting all her dudes at the bars or house parties.
Tonight, she wanted to cook supper, but I blew her off knowing she was going out with her dude friends later, even though she didn't say it. I asked her to talk tonight about things and she kinda blew up at me saying I was being possessive. One of her good friends from high school confessed his love for her recently. So I asked her not to stay the night at his place or other guys places for that matter. Apparently this is being possessive. She also just went to a family function with her ex on Sunday. I feel like she doesn't know what a true relationship is.
At this point your like what the fuck, why be with her...well I'm an understanding person and like to give people a chance. I don't mind if she has dude friends, but the fact she won't include me after three months is unnerving. She was really defensive tonight on the phone, and that makes me even more suspicious. Tomorrow I end things.
TL;DR: | Gonna tell her I don't want to see her anymore because I deserve fucking better. Sorry this is more of a rant...but I just need support. Also, am I being possessive? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Family relative is sick/in the hospital but won't stop doing drugs, what do?
POST: My uncle has been in the hospital for at least 3 months now. If I understand correctly from my mom, he is currently in rehab and still unable to walk.
He beat testicular cancer a few years ago and has always had various other problems (back/neck pain and some weird "flesh eating" rash) so he's been in a lot of pain... I think throughout his various woes he has gotten addicted to pain killers and possibly other drugs.
His most recent hospital visit was due to pneumonia, he was having extreme difficulty breathing, in and out of consciousness, loss of speech and hearing, and it's possible that the drugs masked his symptoms/pain so he wasn't aware until it got really bad.
After several weeks in the hospital where we thought he was going to die, he finally started recovering. We thought this would be a wake up call, that he would change his lifestyle but he has not given up on his addictions. We've told him "If you don't stop, you are going to kill yourself".
He owns a small retail store and keeps asking the employees to bring him cash (why would someone in the hospital need large sums of cash?) When we called the store and told them we had made arrangements to pay all of his bills and they should not bring him any more money without informing the family...he starting finding other ways to get money (threatening the store employees that they would be fired, borrowing from friends, told his friend he needed $400 for his phone bill when we had already paid it and it was nowhere near $400).
We've warned the hospital/rehab center about certain people who shouldn't be visiting him but my grandma swears she saw the guy leaving there 2 nights ago right before she arrived.
TL;DR: | My stubborn uncle is going to die if he doesn't stop doing drugs, we've tried to intervene but he won't listen to anyone. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [17/M] and really unsure on what to do with my crush [17/F]
POST: So, we know each other for about 7 years now but started talking more for about 1 year when we've met again at some class reunion.
Since we started talking so much I developed a crush on her, but I was never quite sure because she looks extremely good and she's really smart and I never thought she would like me because of how my body looks.
About 2 weeks ago we've met for a coffee in some pub and I realized she is giving me little signs of interest, like exposing her neck and a few others (I'm interested in body language so I'd say those were signs of interest). I didn't say anything at the moment, I just let it pass.
This weekend she came to my place to watch some movies. Also, she said she really wanted me to play her some guitar since she haven't ever heard me play. So after a while, we were just playing some video games and I put my hands around her and play like that for a period of time. After switching to movies, she grabs my hands and puts her head on my shoulder (she was staying in front of me, spooning, so to say) and she made eye contact for a few seconds, switching back and forth between my eyes and lips. Realising what she's doing, in my head there were voices telling me that this is not possible and I'm just imagining things so I didn't kiss her, but the moment did not get weird or anything. I just missed it.
After the movie was finished, I walked her to the bus station, giving her my jacket since she was saying she's cold. When we've arrived at the bus station, she saw her bus coming and she kissed both of my cheeks and ran for it.
I'm planning on meeting her as soon as possible but I don't know what to do. Should I just go ahead and kiss her on sight or what?
P.S.: I'm sorry if there are any spelling mistakes, it's just that I'm not a native English speaker.
P.S. 2: Any questions are welcomed, I'll answer anything you want to know.
TL;DR: | I have a crush on a girl for 1 year or so and she started giving me signs of interest. I don't know what to do next. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me & my friend drifted apart. Haven't seem him in a year. Do I go to his wedding?
POST: He (M39) and me (F36) were strictly no-sexy times close friends for 5 years. At least I thought we were close friends. He got a girlfriend about 1.5 years ago who he became engaged to a few months later. I only get about 3% of the about of text messages I used to get from him and he hasn't had time to hang our with me in about a year. He used to be my concert buddy and now he's always off camping with his fiance. I am very happy for him, but I go to friend's weddings and he hasn't been a friend for a long time.
I miss my friend.
TL;DR: | He has ignore his friend (me) for over a year. Do I go to his wedding, even if he's not really a friend anymore? |
SUBREDDIT: r/BreakUps
TITLE: I have never felt so bad and used in my life. I really need someone to hear [m]e out and give me advice or just sympathize.
POST: Both 20, male female, 8 months
She just broke up with me because I was trying to tell her something about a past relationship that I thought was true. Ive had a very exhausting day. We have been having issues for all of summer and it is her thinking about me and my ex. I have been nothing but good to the girl and I trusted her with everything I had. I have lied in the far past about that relationship, I can barely even remember it. Anyways, she hates me now and tells me so many things that are basically making just want to fucking kill myself. I loved this girl more than anyone in the whole world, like, I would have married her. She was perfect. But then she breaks up with me and tells me this. She thought I was the biggest loser when she met me and went out with me only because she thought I was a virgin, turns out im not. Ever since then she has been with me only because she didnt want to seem like a bitch. We have done things, up to third base, and I honestly thought it felt like more than what it was. It felt so special so right and I felt so close to her. Turns out everything we have done was only practice for her and she was curious...it meant absolutely nothing and she has told me that she did those things with me because she loved me. She also said she stopped watching porn and of course I believed her, nope....everyday all the time....and she told me I was her first kiss, nope, and apparently she used that guy for practice too. She never ever told me about this guy. I have done everything for her, I slept in my car at her college when i didn't have a room, i drove down 2 hours to see her and drive back up the same day. Ive done literally everything for this girl...love poem, you name it. This is kind of a rant I know...but I have never felt so shitty and worthless in my life. I just need advice or sympathy or something.
TL;DR: | I have been lied to completely and fucked over by the person I seriously thought about a future with. I feel so used and terrible. I need sympathy or support. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [19F] bf [20M] of 3 weeks wants me to meet his parents. Too soon?
POST: I've known Sam for over a year now and we had a brief on/off relationship before summer where I was in a difficult place emotionally so I kept breaking things off. When we were together I'd see him about 3/4 times a week. Ofttimes it would be for a group night out and we'd be drunk or I would go round to his to hang out for a few hours. Anyhow my depression kept getting in the way and I kept feeling I was 'missing out' on someone better in the world, horrible attitude I know.
Over summer I reevaluated myself, stopped drinking so much and got my arse in gear and I am in a much better place. We got back together 3 weeks ago and have been pretty inseparable since. I am really happy in the relationship where before the whole idea freaked me the fuck out. I've caught myself smiling to myself when thinking about him (vom haha).
Anyway, he's been talking in a very long term sense for example saying we should go to Paris or Italy together, suggested long term projects and even hinted at living together next year.
My short-term relationship past self is having a freak out because I'm not used to it. It's his mum's birthday this weekend and they are visiting and he wants me to come out for dinner to meet them. He also wants to meet my family.
Is it me or is this a bit too quick? I don't want to mess things up so soon in the relationship.
TL;DR: | Bf wants to meet my parents and vice versa and is seeing everything in a long-term fashion. I am very happy with the idea of long term but isn't 3 weeks too soon? |
SUBREDDIT: r/GetMotivated
TITLE: But I don't want to do /anything/...
POST: I spent a lot of my life doing nothing. My reason for this, other than being lazy, is because I really felt no purpose. I looked at life, saw none of us is granted some grand quest, there is no "right" path in life (in my humble opinion) and all paths are equal.
I also have a history of depression (+more). So even when I forced positive change in my life, I still felt icky inside. Why bother exercising, or learning a new language, or xyz when I still feel so very terrible inside every single day?
But there have been a few, rare moments in my life where something just felt right. I just knew what I had to do. Or, I knew what I loved. I have had passions. I bet you have, too. If you haven't, you do but you haven't found them yet. Or you might need medical treatment to help you be able to see them through the fog. My most recent passions have been discovered at 24 and 26, and most in the past year. So don't give up, brother/sister/sibling.
TL;DR: | Today I read [this] comment by another redditor about passion and motivation. I also read [this] detailed plan on how to get from the bottom of a rut to the peak of a self-created motivational mountain. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: My roommate wants me to replace a couch because she thinks a friend peed on it, but that's false.
POST: I had a party at my house last week. It was a lot of fun, and a couple friends got too drunk to drive home. One of them, who had gotten his pants wet in the hot tub, slept on this couch belonging to my roommate. The next day the couch had a big wet spot from his wet pants, so we just left it and assumed it would dry out.
It turns out the material doesn't dry out very well, so after a few days of staying over at my girlfriend's house, I got a call from the roommate saying that my friend had pissed the couch and it smelled rank and she wanted it replaced ASAP. I came back to the house, agreed to talk to my friend to see if he could replace it. Before I talked to him, I gave the couch a nice deep sniff to see if it was really that bad.
Now, I know what urine smells like. This wasn't it. This smelled exactly like a piece of fabric would after 3 days of being wet without drying. That smell your laundry gets in the washing machine if you don't dry it after a couple days. Kind of funky, the beginnings of mold.
Long story short, my roommate refuses to believe that it's not urine. I am getting the couch professionally cleaned anyways, but the roommate insists that they get the $500 that this cost, because they "absolutely will not own a couch that has been pissed on".
My girlfriend and I are moving in together in about a month, and definitely can't afford $500 to replace a couch that doesn't need replacing. The couch is going to be cleaned tomorrow, and that's the extent of what I'm willing to do. Is this fair?
TL;DR: | My wet friend slept on a couch, 3 days later it started to smell funny, roommate think it's piss but it is not. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me[19M] with my girlfriend [20F], 3 months, I lied about something stupid, promised I wouldn't and did again. Worried she's going to break up with me for it
POST: We have been dating just short of 3 months and everything is great except for 1 little thing. When we first started dating I would exaggerate stories to make them more interesting and sometimes just make them up, never about anything serious.
I ended up lying about how many previous partners I've had, and decided to clear the air as things started getting more serious. Turns out she has major trust issues thanks to a previous relationship. I promised I would stop lying and we carried on
Fast forward a little we're in bed talking about another stupid thing I'd said (again nothing serious) and asks me if it's true, without thinking i say it is when it isn't. This has come into the open because I told her, she isn't mad at all about the thing i said it's simply that I lied after I said I wouldn't
She says there is no point in a relationship if there is no trust, I'm seeing her tomorrow and I think she's going to break up with me. I don't know what to do. I know I can not do it again but she has no reason to believe me when I say that and there is nothing I can do to show it if she does break up with me. I feel lost. Any advice is appreciated
TL;DR: | I lied, said I wouldn't again, did again about something small. gf is really annoyed and probably wants to break up |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [21M] Asked my GF [21F] about sexual history and don't know what to do. Need help ASAP
POST: Never posted here before so please let me know if I do something wrong, I just want to be honest because I need so much help right now.
I've been dating my girlfriend for a few months, close to 8, and we are both in college. I really do love her and she is completely amazing. Really smart and sweet, we share a lot of similar interests and she is a great writer. She is absolutely gorgeous, legitimately 15/10. I am also going to mention that she is the most unbelievable sex partner I could have imagined (don't think I should go into much detail here but if I need to explain tell me) .
We felt comfortable sharing everything between us so we had the 'sex history' talk. I have had only sex with 3 girls and she has been with 13 guys. Ever since I found that out a few days ago, it's been eating away
at me. I have this urge to just know all of the information. How did it happen? Who were they? What did they do?
I'm thinking about confronting her and asking about it when she gets here later, but I don't know if this is a good idea. This seems like its completely my problem and not at all hers, but I need to know. At the same time I don't want to ruin what we have. I am going to do it soon because I don't think I can keep waiting much longer without bringing it up again and being awkward or go on without actually finding out.
TL;DR: | GF told me about the guys she's had sex with. I think I'm going to ask her more but I don't know if I should |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Toxic, jobless and drug-abusing sister [30F] won't leave household and causing serious issues
POST: Basically, she is squatting at home burning parent's money so she doesn't have to work while abusing drugs and acting like a total asshole. Her personality is probably the worst I've seen in my life and she started using hard & soft drugs in the last few years.
My family tried putting her in rehab/therapy (was sober for a bit but started using again), getting her opportunities for jobs and financial assistance but nothing seems to work. On top of the drug abuse, she's always angry, cursing, fighting and inconsiderate which is why she doesn't have any friends.
Now, I think my family should just cut her out of our lives move on but they say she's still their daughter and want to help somehow. The fact is, we ran out of options. She doesn't want to change herself, thus we can't do anything. She's too used to having an easy life with money falling from the sky and doing anything remotely laborious loses her interest/effort.
I'd put her into a mental institution against will but that doesn't seem possible. She's mentally unstable, so I honestly don't want to stay in the same household but can't leave due to various reasons. Even if I did, it wouldn't solve anything.
It would be ideal she moves out and gets a decent career but she has practically 0 experience and a useless degree. I should mention that my parent's are not giving her any help besides a phone plan and a car at this point.
TL;DR: | drug-abusing, toxic, inconsiderate, mentally unstable and jobless sister squatting at home burning parent's money and bumming around. what do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: is derogatory credit fixable?
POST: Had no idea that $400 would screw me so hard.. here is my dilemma-
I had a gym membership over 3 years ago that went into collections due to non-payment as a result of being an idiot and not having a job, then paid off as soon as i got a job; fast forward to the future, now I have a very good debt to income ratio, have been paying everything on time since the aforementioned, but I can't even open a second credit card.
I make $45k a year now, have only $125/mo student loans, $525 rent, only $500 left on a credit card, and I get denied for even a second credit card, which scares me because I want to buy a house with my future wife in 2012. Its listed as a chargeoff, even though it is paid off?
TL;DR: | $400 gym membership dues that got paid off caused derogatory mark on credit, 3 years later still cannot open new lines of credit |
SUBREDDIT: r/travel
TITLE: Alternative to GoogleMaps for saving a map of your (long) trip?
POST: Hey guys!
I've been traveling for eight months now and I was using GoogleMaps to keep track of where I've been/where I'm going next, so that my family & friends could see my progress. I went into edit today and, Ta Da! I'm now being forced to used whatever this horrible "upgrade" to My Maps is. I can no longer create a 'snapped-to-road' line, only straight ones. The snap-to-road option just up and disappeared without a word. Why GM would take out this crucial, simple editing feature...I have no idea. You can now "Add ___ Route," which creates the line I'm looking for, but it adds a new 'layer' to your map and you're only allowed 5 layers. (For whatever reason, the lines I made *before* "upgrade" are all saved under one layer and snapped to roads, all 132 of them. Figure that one out.)
I searched high and low for a solution to this problem, so as not to lose my *eight months* of mapped out travels by switching to a new program, but it would appear that there simply is no fix. Google Maps has royally screwed up their editor, and I'm gonna have to move on if I want to continue mapping my trip...
So, that being said, does anyone here know of a simple, free mapping platform that I could save my travels to? I figure I'm not the only one saving a map of their travels, and maybe someone else knows of a better system/platform/program/whatever.
Thanks in advance!
TL;DR: | GoogleMaps' new editor is horrible and useless to me now; is there a different map editor I could use to save a map of my travels |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (27f) great grandmother (90f) doesn't know she's dying, and I'm visiting her for what may be the last time today.
POST: I'm not sure if this belongs here, but I'm not quite sure how to approach today and could use some advice.
My nan has recently been diagnosed with terminal cancer, but this information has been given to her POA's. She knows she is sick, but doesn't know how bad it is and doesn't want to know.
We were close when I was younger, but a combination of my struggle with mental illness and her growing older, frailer and just generally bitter has caused a bit of a wedge between us.
I have decided that I don't particularly want to watch her completely deteriorate. I've done this with relatives before. It's too painful. Unless absolutely necessary, this will be the last time I see her.
I want to be able to smooth things over today, clear the air so I don't have any nagging regrets when she dies. The catch is I'm not allowed to let her know how sick she is. I'm not even allowed to say I came specifically to see her (she's 4 hours away) - as far as she'll be aware, I'm heading home from a holiday and just popping in as I pass through.
How can I have a final conversation like this when she's not supposed to know that's what it is? I'm really struggling with what to say. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.
TL;DR: | want to be able to have final conversation with great grandmother who is unaware that she's dying, but unsure how to approach it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My ex (30m) and I (28f) broke up about 8 months ago after a 5 year relationship. I want to get back together but need advice.
POST: My ex and I were together for 5 years. We got along amazingly well, never fought, lots in common and genuinely really loved each other.
We had a few setback outside of our relationship along the way (family members dying, going LD when work sent one of us away etc) and towards the end of last year I just wasn't feeling happy anymore. I put most of the blame for that on the relationship, but after time apart and being on my own I kind of realised that I wasn't happy with myself.
Our relationship wasn't perfect though. I would get bitchy and snappy with him, we didn't have sex very often, he was/is really introverted and we never talked about feelings or our future together. I was also getting frustrated with the lack of fun/spontenaeity in everyday life.
Since we've broken up, I've seen a counsellor, taken time for me, travelled and dated other people. But all I've wanted for the last 4 months or so is to just be with him. We've stayed in contact, have been nothing but kind to each other and still see and get along with each other really well.
We had a talk a little while ago about 'us', both stating that when we look into the future we just see each other. I'm not ready to go back to how we were (and I don't want things to be the same as we did have actual problems), but I want to date him and build something better and stronger.
We kissed for the first time since the break up last weekend, but nothing since then. What kind of steps should I take to encourage a remodel of our relationship?
TL;DR: | I still love my ex and want to get back together. He's really introverted so I need to tred slowly and carefully. What things can I do to encourage us to get back together and build something better? |
SUBREDDIT: r/self
TITLE: 17 year old, given the opportunity to travel. Need some advice!
POST: Hey everyone, I'm a 17 year old that has never travelled before. My cousin has invited me to a 1 week trip to Las Vegas, all expenses would be paid for. But, the catch is that the trip will be a mix of work/conventions, as well as free days for fun. There will be dozens of others going from my cousin's workplace, who I know none at all.
I am a very shy introvert-person and it is hard for me to socialize, especially with strangers. My parents have no complaints on the trip and are even ecstatic of the idea of me accepting the offer.
Currently, the only advice is from my dad, who has said: "Even if you don't have fun/know nobody, it's just 1 week. So just go."
TL;DR: | Been invited to 1 week trip with cousin and cousin's work members(All expenses paid). Will feel terribly uncomfortable, because I don't know anybody or anything. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm (18f) wondering if it would be too personal to ask my gf(17f) of suicide attempts
POST: Several months ago my gf had calmy mentioned in a conversation that she had tried to kill herself before. I never thought she would be the type to do something like this and I didn't want to ask at the time because we had only been dating a couple of months but now we've been together for six months and I'm wondering if it would be something too personal to asks about. She tried to kill herself 6 months before we met.
I want to know ask about this because I want to know if she has no longer had the urge to try something like this. She's told me she loves me and I've told her I love her and we've shared a lot of good moments together. I just want to know if she's ok because she's very special to me and I don't think I'll ever fin someone like her.
TL;DR: | GF has tried to kill herself and I'd like to know why, to make sure she has not tried it anymore since then. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Women of Reddit; do any of you not like to kiss?
POST: Reddit, I am a 17 yr old male and she is soon to be 17 as well. Our relationship history has been great - started as best friends, moved to a high school relationship (now in 11th grade). When we hang out or have a movie night, play boardgames, etc we usually just make out, and are sometimes sexually active (safe sex). Lately I've been a bit frustrated because she hasn't been as passionate for me as before. She used to jump on top of me, kiss my neck, etc (basically she was always excited to see me), but in the past couple months we will kiss maybe twice in a night, and nothing more. If I try and start to french kiss or make out, she just isn't in the mood and turns away. I've asked her about it, and she says she only enjoys kissing 'when its hot', which recently seems like never. She also said that earlier in the relationship she was more 'passionate' to get my attention, which I hate. When I try to be romantic, she will giggle or give some excuse ("I'm tired" is common). I've tried to talk with her about it, and she says she just doesn't like to kiss anymore. Recently it just seems like we're friends.
Do any of you just not like to kiss? I dont think I'm a bad kisser, and I find tongue to be a little gross in most occasions. She's almost 17, is it possible she is just never in the romantic mood anymore? I have no acne, no chapped lips too, play a varsity sport and am in very good physical shape.
TL;DR: | GF of 1.5yr isn't interested in being romantic/passionate anymore, what should I make of this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 M] with my GF [23F] 2years, who sometimes talks about her gay bestfriends sexual encounters during foreplay, is this weird?
POST: So i love my girlfriend and think she is amazing and very beautiful but there is no doubt she is a bit of a faghag, (has 4 close gay friends and 2 that are apparently bi). Currently lives in a house with 2 questionably bi, a straight and a gay guy.
Her closest friend was bi but has fully come out about a year ago, they still often kiss (she keeps a saved photo of them doing so on her phone) and they get handsy.
What really puts me off though is her talking about her best friends sexual encounters when we are starting to get hot and heavy in the bedroom.
Sometimes this completely puts me off and nothing comes of the foreplay which she doesnt appear to mind.
Just the other night when we were out with them she wanted to have sex with me after riding on her gay best friend on the dfloor.
I'm not sure if my jealousy and concerns are justified so i am looking for some help here. Thanks guys!
TL;DR: | Finding my girlfriends talking about her gay friends sex life off putting while we are making out, which sometimes stop that going elsewhere. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [24/m] Early dating awkwardness. Should I pursue it or not?
POST: Upfront, I'm a gay dude.
I went on a date with this guy, and it went about as well as you could expect. He kept making references to things we should "do sometime", and even asked me if I was busy the next day, cause his friends were going to a theme park. I had to work so I couldn't go.
After dinner, I drive him home and he invites me in to watch a movie... universal signal for "let's fuck". and we did. And during he's all like "you're cute", "I want you to fuck me", etc. etc.
Next morning he texts me early to say "have a good day, cutie".
So what's the question? Well a day later I invite him to go to Disney that weekend with my friends for the 24hr thing, and he said it sounded fun but he'd let me know, but that he "can't wait to hang again". Disney day comes and goes, I don't hear from him. He eventually texts me the day after just to say "what's up" and we text a bit from there...
But wtf? He still hasn't tried to set up a second date, or find a time to hang out again. I feel like since I brought up the Disney thing, it's kina in his court now, isn't it? Or is he tryna tell me he's not interested?
TL;DR: | after a great first date, the guy is cagey about future plans. And even though we're still texting every couple of days, he hasn't made any moves to set a second date. Should I move on? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I need some assurance that I truly dodged a bullet with my decision. Having some doubts :-/
POST: I was with a girl earlier this year I had known years prior. Back then in 2011, we went out together, etc but things just never got to the BF-GF stage. I then heard some things about her that I never confirmed including the reason she and her best GF not talking anymore was because she fucked the girl's boyfriend as they were still together (because how could you even start a conversation about this). Don't worry, I realize the huge red flags on this. But then we got back together earlier this year and she seemed a new person -- someone wanting to change. For the first time, we got physical and she talked about moving in together. But because of my reservations about her past and fears of getting fucked over big time because of this, I think she sensed my apprehension and we had a communication breakdown. At this point we had been hanging out for about 5 months total. It's been months since we've spoken/seen each other and I sadly think it's for the best. She was an amazing girl if not for her very misguided sexual habits. What would've you guys done differently, if anything? I'm really just writing this because I've thought about her every day since I last saw her (back in June). I know I need to move on, but I can't seem to.
TL;DR: | Has anyone moved in with their significant other that they had reservations about (including her past, only dating for a few months) and everything work out? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Do I (24f) break up with the love of my life (26m) for a lifetime of traveling or do I stay for a lifetime of stability?
POST: I'm sure many of you have had the same question. I've been with my SO for 2.5+ years, I love him to death. He's the love of my life, and I can see myself living a long life with him, getting married, buying a house together, having 2 adorable kids (I love kids), and growing old together.
However, I feel like I've been waiting for him for these 2.5 years. He makes better money than me (close to 6 figures) and has a good stable career path. But, he's bad with money (bought an expensive car, spends a lot going out, generally disorganized). He's gotten his shit together this last year (paid off his 15k credit card debt) and we are finally closer to splitting all the bills (like rent).
I've been waiting because although I don't make much money, I am a saver and prefer to spend my money on things like traveling. I brought up doing 2 big trips this year so I can utilize what little days off I have, and he got mad because he doesn't want to spend the money on 2 trips. He thinks this is immature and bad money handling. Instead, he really wants to buy a place asap.
I realize that this is responsible thinking (buy a house, don't spend on traveling) but I am unhappy. I want to travel while I'm still young and BEFORE I own property. I'm also very down for budget traveling, whereas he prefers staying nice places, thus he sees trips as expensive and almost unnecessary.
Are we too different people? Or am I being immature and need to be more responsible?
TL;DR: | SO sees traveling as a bad way to spend money, that's all I want to do right now, should I stay or should I go? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Does ability cause responsibility? Philosophers and Logical thinkers wanted...
POST: I think responsibility is two-fold, I believe you can only be responsible for something if you have elements of control over outcomes through your choices, and if you choose to accept said responsibility. (E.g. you accept responsibility of cleaning toilets by becoming a toilet cleaner)
However, saying a man who rejects his responsibility to help others, and lets a baby drowning die, is not responsible seems intuitively wrong. if you reject your responsibility, are you no longer responsible?
And on the other hand, removing responsibility acceptance and saying ability alone causes responsibility seems wrong also...I can't accept that because a person has e.g. wealth, they have a responsibility to all others who need money.
Looking forward to hearing your thoughts and reasoning.
TL;DR: | Where does responsibility come from and what warrants it? Looking to avoid "God" or anything circular (e.g. It's the right thing to do because it is, you have responsibility because you do etc) |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: GF [25F] of 2 years left me [25M] abruptly but still wants to stay friends. Is it worth it?
POST: I was not expecting the breakup at all. We have always gotten along really well and could talk for hours on end with no difficulty. Admittedly it wasn't a perfect relationship, but I thought we had a good thing going. Anyway, she says she's met someone else. That was the only reason given although I'm sure there is more. Right now, I feel hurt and sad...but I know that she's a good person and ultimately I'll get past it.
She says she really wants to stay friends. It sounded genuine but who knows...Maybe she just said that because she thinks it made the breakup less awkward. I told her that I would reach out to her if/when I feel ready to try being friends. IF that day ever comes, these are the options I'm considering:
1) Just move on completely and don't look back.
2) Once my emotions have settled down, ask to talk about what worked and what didn't in our relationship. Obviously if she doesn't want to have that conversation, then fine. But right now I feel confused about why things ended so abruptly and kind of want some closure. Maybe "closure" is just a bullshit word I heard on tv...but idk I just wish I had more of an understanding of why she decided to end it.
3) Forget the closure bullshit, work on being real friends. I think it could conceivably work...although again my judgment is not the best right now.
What do y'all think?
TL;DR: | She left me for someone else but really wants to stay friends. I wish I knew more about why she left, but ultimately I think we could work as friends. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How did you help your relationship survive?
POST: I was listening to This American Life when I heard an interesting thought. The story was about an American man who traveled all over Beijing to find this girl he fell in love with a few years earlier. He finds her and they end up marrying. Understandably, the marriage had it difficulties (many due to cultural differences), but the couple successfully worked through their problems.
That's when the husband reflected "People always asks "How did you met?", but they don't ever ask "How did you stay together?""
I think that's a much more interesting and important question. I'm not married, but I always hear that a long marriage is difficult to attain. So Redditors, I ask, how did you make it last? How did you stay together?
TL;DR: | People romanticize the story of a couple coming together, but never the more important story of *staying* together. How did you help your relationship survive? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me[20M] with someone I'm seeing [19F] 1 month, I'm heading off to university, she is not.
POST: Hello, I've currently seen this person for a month now and it's going pretty well! Especially as this is my first time. We're not serious.
But I've got a bit of a problem. I've got into university which is about 1-2 hours away from my current location. Yeah, the whole distance problem.
We met up yesterday, she got me a card, congratulating me getting in, which was very sweet. She also said that she would also love to visit me. She seems really supportive of me in this, with no sign of wanting to break this off.
What should I do?
TL;DR: | Off to university. 2 hours away. She really likes the idea of visiting me. Is distance really a big factor in dating? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [21/M] am unsure if i should comit to a relationship with a girl [20/f] because of my high sex drive
POST: Hey Guys
My last relationship was very sexual, we'd sleep together whenever we'd meet, this caused me to get quite a strong sex drive for me to be able to keep up with her
I separated with her around 5 months ago, and I started talking to the newer girl a few weeks ago.
Things wen't very well on our first date, and there was a connection between us, and interest on both sides. but one thing became obvious to me; she's not sexual in the slightest.
It saddens me to think that this a required thing for a relationship, but i'm scared that my high sex drive will mess something up later on and completely destroy things up between us
TL;DR: | I've got a high sex drive and the girl i'm talking to doesn't, i'm not sure if i should take the relationship any further in case the lack of intimacy is a problem for me |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: How do I calm down?
POST: Let me preface this by stating that I'm a hypochondriac. I'm the guy that reads WebMD with a chest ache and assumes it's terminal cancer.
But recently, it's really been eating at me. If I go to the restroom every 2 hours or so (even with active water drinking), I assume I'm diabetic. Then I had some mild stomach cramps, and assumed it was either an ulcer, cancer, or something of that ilk.
Recently, the back of my mouth and top of my throat gets kinda swollen-ish\hard to swallow after I eat, so I assume it's the diabetic thirst they get with high sugar, since it happens after I eat, even though I'm not even thirsty.
I don't have diabetes. Not that I know of or have ever tested positive for, anyway. But I can't shake these feelings. The panic attacks. The anxiety. It's getting worse -- I can hardly focus at work. I need some way to just.. chill. I need to just forget about constant medical worries and find a way to zen out and relax. Can anyone here help? Any suggestions?
TL;DR: | I'm a hypochondriac that can't chill out and is being taken over by crushing fear of having EVERYTHING even though I'm fairly healthy. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How do you catch a thief? (Details inside)
POST: Was at a bar with friends and only had 2 drinks. The 4 of us left and I realized I left my backpack 15 minutes later. When I got there our server informed us he had remembered seeing it and the person sitting behind us chimed in letting us know the people across from us had taken a backpack with them. I remember what they look like to a T. They paid in cash, but we have their receipt, along with what time-frame they left in. The bar is riddled with cameras and our server told me they'd call tomorrow with the footage and a few photos for a report. Some people outside also collaborated with the story saying the two suspects left with a backpack looking somewhat sketchy 10 minutes previous to when I re-arrived. I scoured the street to the subway looking for them in every open establishment - no luck.
I have a fairly large reach within the city - 1000 people on a first name basis. As well I'm a part of a few groups which span 10,000 or so members each and would be willing to post a blurb about my encounter. Problem is the city is 2.7 million or so people. They perpetrators were about 20 or so and are probably not in school (based on appearance and attitude observed, but could be totally wrong). I'm in my mid 20's and hang around with such.
The only reason I care is about 1000$ worth of stuff was in there which is hard hit on the wallet and seeing thieves get their just desserts would be satisfying enough.
How should I go about this reddit?
TL;DR: | What do I do with photos of thieves and knowledge of the goods they'll be selling in a city of 2.7 million people? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Married, but seperated, Great White Buffalo [29/f] is back in my [28/m] life, what do I do now?
POST: So some interesting things have happened to me this weekend. The one that got away in college has resurfaced in my life and we have been talking for about 5 days straight non stop, the only problem is, she is currently married (for now).
Some backstory about her and I, we met Sophomore year in college, she lived in the sorority house next to me and for a year and a half, we spent almost everyday together. Her group of friends were really close to my group of friends. Her and I immediately hit it off, and were inseparable from the beginning. One night, we both got absolutely wasted and got into a huge fight, that ended her and I as a "couple," I say this loosely cause it was never defined.
About a month later, she starts dating this new guy, who she has eventually married, and has been for 3 years. Her and I had reconnected because of a song I posted on snap chat (one that was popular when we were together) which involved her reaching out and reminiscing about the "good old days."
Knowing she was married, I was very hesitant to talk to her as anything more than friends, even though I have been thinking about her ever since the day we split up. My friends know about her, my family knows I have always considered her as the one. She proceeds to tell me that her and her husband are in a rough spot and currently separated, and that she is not having fun in her life anymore. Now of course, I take this as the greatest news I could ever here, but can't get over the fact that she is still, legally married. I want nothing more than to end up with her, but I do not want to be the reason they split up, I could never live with myself knowing that I was the reason for the marriage to end. So I ask you reddit, what do you do from here. Do I continue to talk to the love of my life, and hopefully see where things go, or do I wait the painful game of seeing if her and the husband split organically.
TL;DR: | Great White Buffalo from college is married, but marriage is on the rocks, she is back in my life, do I take the second chance or wait for the possibility of them ending it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by trying to small talk
POST: This actually happened yesterday but whatever, so I'm a lab tech at a doctor's office. I draw blood and run tests etc. I don't really talk to people much, even patients just the generic "how are you doing" kind of stuff. Well anyways I was looking through the schedule earlier in the day and there was a girl coming in and the reasons just said "got in a fight" I don't know why I remembered that but later when I was drawing her blood I recognized the name and remembered she was there because of a fight. So I super jokingly ask, "well did you win" with a huge grin on my face. She kind of laughed and said no. I, still thinking nothing of it, said "well I wish you would've won" she responds with "I didn't want to hurt my mom" BAM immediate fucking mood shift and I feel terrible now. We didn't say another word as I finished drawing her blood. I later went and looked in her chart to see why she was here, turns out her mom is an alcoholic
and beat her with her kid in her hands because a cat shit on the floor. Now I feel even worse. The one time I open up and I'm making light of domestic violence.
TL;DR: | saw a girl was in a fight. Made light of the issue, found out later it was her mother beating her. Should've stayed quiet |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by Looking at TIFUs At School
POST: TIFU because I read TIFUs at school.... Me and my friends *love* TIFUs. We literally can't get enough. However, during school, it's a little hard to pull out your phone and just start reading, which is why my Photography class comes in handy. Most days we are just on the computer photoshopping pictures we have taken for the next photo assignment. Would anyone really mind if I just kept Internet Explorer (**MY SCHOOL COMPUTERS HAVE NO OTHER INTERNET BROWSERS HELP**) open on the side and just read some funny TIFUs??? I thought not. So naturally I giggle to myself as I read today's top stories. I guess my teacher must have noticed, so she decided to pull my screen up on *her* screen just to see what's going on.
(Just some background context. Here in my school, all school computers are linked through a network, and the teacher's computer has a program that allows her to see any person's screen just to make sure they're up to no good. A bit spy-ish, but hey, understandable.)
Little did she herself realize, her computer was hooked up to the projector (that was turned on and showing what she was looking at). Pretty soon the whole class started laughing quietly, and I had no reason why. Eventually, my teacher calls my name and asks, "Ben, what in the world are you reading?" The whole class bursts out laughing. I am now known as the kid who reads about other people not wearing clothes...
Post I Was Reading:
TL;DR: | Reading a TIFU in school, teacher finds out, accidentally shows entire class, I have a new nickname :) . |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [25F] know my mom [63F] is in denial of being catfished
POST: Help fellow Redditors! My mom is a very lonely, widowed, desperate, kind of a spacey older woman who is in total denial of being catfished for the last 10 months. I love her dearly. This needs to stop though.
This man named "Shadrick" conveniently up and left a neighboring town after she found him on a dating site. His "work brought him to South Africa" he constantly is telling her he loves her and she loves "him" back. About 5 times he's said he was coming home, she's bought him plane tickets (smh) and something always comes up.
There's been a few times she's sent him thousands of dollars so he could "pay his workers" there. He's sent her fake official documents stating that she owns x number of gold ingots in South Africa. He supposedly is rich but can't get to his money.
This con artist is good. He has a "son" named "Peter" who also calls/texts her.
I'm so fed up with this. She's in denial. My sister (44F) and I have both tried to talk to her in a friendly manner and told her it's not healthy and he's definitely not real and she gets mad. She knows we care and we both have an excellent relationship with her; however she is just in such denial and is so lonely.
Before anyone recommends getting her out of the house, she always has some excuse. She's retired and handicapped with a bum knee and fibromyalgia so she refuses to go meet REAL PEOPLE! How do I take matters into my own hands? Block this person? Get this person in trouble with the authorities? Report them somehow? The longer this goes on the more heartbroken she will be. Sorry for the lack of proper grammar, I just am incredibly butt hurt over seeing this situation daily and it makes me sick to my stomach every time she mentions "my honey" to me 😐🙄
TL;DR: | my mom has it bad romantically for a fake person online and is funneling money into them.... while I watch helplessly and I want to take matters into my own hands before she does something even more dumb. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 F] insecure in my romantic relationships in general
POST: I hope this kind of general question is ok!
I consider myself to be a pretty confident person when it comes to most areas of my life. This hasn't always been the case, as I have suffered from intense anxiety most of my life. Now I have finally got it under control, have seen a therapist, etc. and feel pretty good most of the time. I have great friends, I'm in an awesome program at school, and I have a part time job that I actually like. Things are pretty good. Except when it comes to any romantic relationship.
I am currently single, but in the past I have had super bad issues when it comes to jealousy/insecurity. I guess you could say I apply one instance of conflict to all areas of my romantic life. For example, if my SO says they'd rather spend Friday night with their friends (and we already spend most Fridays together) I'll get insanely jealous and feel like he doesn't love me or doesn't care about me. I'll feel abandoned. It's a horrible cycle because I know logically that they just want to spend time with their friends sometimes (just like I do too!) but I *feel* so horrible about myself.
Like I said, I'm not in a relationship at the moment, but I am dating around a bit... And I'm feeling these feelings of insecurity again. For example, I haven't seen this guy in about a week, and he's hanging out with his friends instead of me this weekend. He seems like he likes me, and the thing is, I still don't know him too well. I feel like because we are very casually dating I shouldn't feel so hurt if he pushes off plans we made.
I guess my question is: How can I become more secure in my relationships? Why do I feel like this when I'm mostly secure in all other areas of my life?
TL;DR: | I am insecure in my relationships and I don't want to be. What are some things I can do so that I don't feel so insecure? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [21 F] not sure if my bf of almost four years [21 M] is the one I want to be with
POST: In short, I fucked up badly. I'm a horrible person, I know that. I emotionally cheated and told my boyfriend about it because he deserves to know and really, deserves someone better than me. He is now taking the time to decide if he wants to forgive me and work on it or part ways.
But for me, I don't know what I want and I don't think it's fair to him if he says yes and I still don't know. I've told him all of this. I used to be able to see the future with him very clearly but not anymore, even before I decided to do a very horrible thing. For years, he was the one that I thought I would spend the rest of my life with ... but I don't know what I want anymore.
I developed a very intense connection with the guy I cheated with. It's separate from why I question my stance with my boyfriend but it is probably something I need to think about. If I was completely devoted to my boyfriend, why would I do something like that? I know deep down I love my boyfriend for everything and will always love him but that can't be reconciled by what I did. I don't know why I cheated.
My bf loves me dearly and would be the absolute perfect man for me ... So why am I feeling unsure?
Has anyone gone through something similar, even if it's just having doubts? How do you know if someone is 'the one' for you?
TL;DR: | Emotionally cheated on bf, even before that I was not sure if he is 'the one' for me - how do I make a decision? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25f] mom died unexpectedly the other day and I have no idea what to do.
POST: Sunday morning, I wake up to a frantic phone call from my moms boyfriends daughter saying that my mom died. She went to sleep and never woke up.
This came so suddenly and I am so fucking lost and devastated. I haven't been able to sleep or stop thinking about it. I'll have sudden bursts of mental breakdowns and crying fits. Thankfully my boyfriend is here to help me. She died in Ontario and I'm in BC so now I have to fly out there with the invisible money we have asap.
I am so upset and distraught and heart broken and I don't know if I'll ever get over this. My life was already in shambles before this happened and now I feel like I'll just never be able to recover. She was only 50 years old and died from a clogged artery. People say she went peacefully but I'll never ever know if there was a moment of fear and panic and if she struggled for a minute or two in pain. That thought will haunt me forever and I can't get the images out of my head.
I loved her so much, I talked to her everyday. I knew some day something like this would happen but I never actually thought it would be this. I knew because of her smoking she was in very poor health and i was constantly worried about her, I feel like if I didn't constantly worry then maybe this wouldn't have happened to her.
what do I do? how in the fuck do I get over something so fucking traumatic? I am living a nightmare right now. I had a a mental breakdown the other night I thought I was going to pass out.
I know people are going to suggest therapy and I want to get some, but I don't even think I have any health coverage or health anything. I don't have a family doctor. This is something I'd always ask my mom for information on.
TL;DR: | my mom died unexpectedly and I have no idea what to do. This is the worst pain in the world I've ever experienced. how do I erase this pain? I don't think it'll ever go away. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [19 F] sub landlord [21 F] of three months wants me to pay a ton of money for an exterminator
POST: I have a question regarding my sublease for this summer. I am a college student. This summer I decided to attend summer session and needed a place to stay. I found a room in an apartment for less than 500 dollars (the person (Person A) I was renting from said that they would pay half the rent so that I could afford it). Since most people leave the town I am in for summer, there's low demand and a surplus of housing so it's not unheard of for people to sublease for so little. I was to stay in the lofted part of the apartment, though it's specified in their lease that no one is to say up there. (So they are already in violation of the lease)
The renter and I agreed on a price. They said they told the landlord and that I was approved to stay there. She said the landlord would email me a contract to sign. I never heard from the landlord or signed any contract. It was merely arranged through Facebook chat.
After a month of living there, I received verbal permission from one of the year round renters (who wasn't subleasing) to bring my kitten to live in the apartment. After having the cat for a month, BOOM fleas. It didn't make sense. The cat had never had fleas prior to moving into the apartment. It had never gone outside and it was dosed with flea meds monthly. I was later told by my renter that pets weren't allowed but by that point the animal was already living with us and, at the time, I couldn't take it anywhere else. I sent it to a friend's house as soon as I as able.I then flea-bombed the place and moved out two weeks early because I had finally found a place to live.
Now the renters want me to pay for extermination ($700) and cover the cost of furniture ($300) that they "had to throw out". They also want the last month's rent ($450), which is fine. I'm willing to pay that.
Do they have grounds for a law suit? Should I pay them? What should I say to them, if anything?
TL;DR: | Rented a room. Brought my cat. Place had fleas. Gave my cat fleas. Sub landlord wants me to pay to exterminate the fleas, new furniture and a month's rent. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Pets
TITLE: Took in a cat for the night--any extra precautions?
POST: Walked in from a night out with the lady to find a big fat fluffy cat in our apartment hallway. He seemed to be trying to get into a neighbors unit, but when we knocked no one was home... so we're pretty sure he's super local and by his temperament we are positive that he isn't feral, I'm guessing even if he did escape from his actual home he hasn't been outside for more than a day.
Our cat obviously isn't happy with this new guy being here. We actually have a setup for him for the night--a large kennel (for a 100 pound dog) that I cleaned out and stocked with an extra litter box, a blanket, some food and some water.
We plan to knock on all the neighbors doors in the morning, but being that it's 11 at night that isn't a good option.
Any extra precautions that we should be taking in separating the new guy (dubbed Flurfer) from our well loved cat (Scrappy Mew) ??
TL;DR: | Other than being in a well stocked kennel, what can we do to keep 2 cats from harming each other tonight? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18m] and my friend [17f]
POST: Last night me [18m] and six of my friends had a little get-together, a party if you will, and everything was going fine. We were drinking, as usual, enjoying the fun. Then me and my ex's best friend [17f] started talking [we are kind of close].
A few months ago I stood by her when she broke up with her boyfriend and supported her. A month ago I broke up with my girlfriend and we are currently both single.
We went into the other room and started talking even more, and as things were going, we started making out. I knew it was wrong, and so did she. Nevertheless, we kept going at it. Then the rest of our friends started snooping around, coming inside the room to see what was going on, but we were just talking.
Thing is I have kind of always had a little something for this lass, and it seems like she has something. But when we talked about it today, she said that it wouldn't be right because we would hurt people [a.k.a my ex, her best friend]. I asked what she would do hypothetically if we would hurt no one and she said that she'd give it a shot. But nothing will happen because we might hurt my ex and her friend, and I get that.
But I don't really see why you should always put people's needs and emotions before yours. And I really want to take her out on a date and keep going at it because she is ultra fun.
WHAT DO I DO, REDDIT???? DO I GIVE IT A FEW DAYS' THOUGHT OR DO I ASK HER OUT TODAY??
TL;DR: | at a party i made out with my ex's best friend and she likes me but doesn't want anything to do with me because we might hurt my ex... |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20 F] am irrationally afraid of my boyfriend [21 M] cheating on me
POST: I am almost absolutely positive that my SO is not cheating. We have been together for a year and we spend a lot of time together cuz we're clingly like that. As a working student, he's trying to balance family, work, school, and me. There's no way that he has the time or the means to have a girl on the side. Basically, he's given me no reason to suspect infidelity and I thought I trusted him completely.
**some background**
A few times in the early few months of our relationship, there were a few girls who posed as trouble. I didn't like the way he handled them because event though they were intent on having him leave me for them, he still wanted to keep them as friends. I found it strange, but I didn't want to be overly possessive with him. Eventually, the homewreckers left us alone and I haven't heard from them since. Everything was good until ANOTHER girl who I barely knew tried to excessively flirt with my boyfriend and wouldn't leave him alone. My boyfriend tried to fix the problem by telling her to stop, but I put my foot down and got involved because he is ALWAYS too nice and those dumb girls never get the message. I texted the girl to tell her that she crossed the line and she apologized for being "too drunk" to know right from wrong. BS but whatever..
I feel like being on /r/relationships has caused me to imagine the worse scenario in every case. Everyone posts a story about how their boyfriend was able to hide his mistress or things like that and they're starting to make me think that he could be one of them. All of those girls who were blinded by love weren't able to see the truth! What makes me different from them? Help me!!
TL;DR: | My boyfriend has given me no reason to suspect cheating, but I can't help but feel suspicious. Any suggestions to help diminish this thought that's been growing in the back of my head? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My friends have expressed a concern over my boyfriend... thoughts?
POST: I'm a late 20s female and I've been dating the same guy for 2 years now (in his late 20s as well). It's been a rocky road - we're both pretty emotional people and we tend to get into fights every few weeks - but it's been an extremely fulfilling and exciting experience. I'm crazy in love and this is definitely someone I could see myself making a future with.
However, a few girlfriends recently expressed concern about our relationship. They said they didn't think he is the right guy for me and that our relationship is too unstable for the long run. To be clear, they don't think he's a bad guy, they don't worry he's hurting me... but they don't think he's the right fit.
I can understand where they're coming from. My boyfriend has a huge personality and can sometimes turn people off with his outlandish behavior. He has also had an impact on me (I'm now more outgoing and a little less politically correct than I once was). I'm happy with the person I am now but I can see how the transition could be scary for my friends.
When I think about my relationship with this boy, I can't imagine it coming to an end. I am more in love than I ever have been before. However, my friends have always been extremely good to me and I trust their opinions. They've come to me in a completely reasonable manner to voice concerns and talk through this with me. Should I tell them to back off or is this a sign that I need to seriously rethink my relationship?
TL;DR: | My friends worry I'm with the wrong guy. I'm happy, but I want to heed my friend's advice... what should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19 M] with my girlfriend [18 F] one year, very close but I may want to see other people.
POST: I have been dating my girlfriend for a little over a year and we have gotten very close. We do the 'I love you's and even sometimes bring up the idea of living with each other someday. I got to college in a town that is about an hour away so we see each other occasionally. We really have not had any problems in our relationship and she is very in love with me. Today She even posted on twitter that the 'love of her life' was coming home for summer break next week.
The problem is, I don't know if I feel the same way. I like making her happy and I usually have fun when I'm with her. However, she is both my first real girlfriend (had a monther before) and she is the first girl I have had sex with. This concerns me because I recently have been having feelings that I want to be with other girls. There isn't a specific girl I'm thinking of but I kinda just want to see what is out there.
I keep going back and forth about whether I should break up with her or if I am happy and I should stay with her. I don't want to lead her on too long if I am going to break up with her someday. I don't see her breaking up with me either. I'm in a really tough spot and I could use your guys advice, thank you.
TL;DR: | In a pretty serious relationship. Having feelings that I want to be with other girls. Not sure if I should break up or keep going. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I develop feelings for women as soon as they show any interest in me. How do i stop this?
POST: So I'm a 19 y/o male, also a virgin, and every time a girl who is even slightly attractive seems like they like me, i can't stop thinking about them even if i don't actually like them. I think i'm a fairly attractive guy, and a lot of girls seems to be interested in me, however i always get caught up on the first girl and don't even pay attention to the rest.
Most recently i almost lost my virginity to a girl who is just slightly attractive, and she also has sex with anyone she can. She's tried with almost all of my friends and a few of them have had sex with her. When she started coming on to me, she became the only thing i could think about even though i knew i would never want to date her or anything close to that. She ended up having sex with one of my friends at i party i was at while i was talking to her, so i just totally stopped talking to her. I'm kind of glad nothing happened though because i don't want my first time to be with some girl i don't actually like.
I want to have sex really badly, but i don't think i'm the kind of guy to just sleep with a girl and forget about her. Also, i think i just want a relationship with a girl, but i'm scared that if i do i would get too clingy or whatever and not be able to break things off if she's not the right girl or deal with her breaking things off with me. But i'm not as worried about that now as i am just getting the girls i want in the first place.
I feel like im just accepting whats coming to me instead of going and getting it. I just want to be able to control my feelings so that i can start getting the girls that I want, instead of the girls that want me. I know my biggest problem is just thinking about it too much, but i just can't help it.
TL;DR: | I start liking girls too much too quickly and i want to control those feelings so i can get the girls that i know i can get instead of getting the girls that come to me. |
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