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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [28 M] with my gf [35F], broke up even though shes a great person. Feel like i want to die.
POST: Hi r/relationships. I have a relationship story that I feel is kind of rare to read about here, but today I broke up with my wonderful girlfriend, who i live with along with our dog, of almost five years and I hate myself for it. We'd been living together for almost a year, and while most of it was great, recently I'd been feeling not awesome. I thought about it a lot, and eventually I decided that there was nothing to do but break up.
When I did it, it was almost an out of body experience for me. I could tell she felt like shed just been shot, then we talked and she took the dog for a walk. At that moment I spent a short period of timing wondering whether or not I should jump out the window.
I just dont know how to feel. There was no cheating, no pivotal moment of cruelty, no other woman or man, just the sense that I was unhappy despite the fact that my partner was a beautiful, wonderful person. Now I feel insanely guilty for hurting this person I care about.
I feel like most of what I read and hear about is horrific breakups with abuse and cheating, and while I would not have wanted her or me to be in that situation and dont envy anyone who is, I cannot imagine feeling any shittier than I do now. Did I do the right thing? I feel so fucked up now and the idea that she is feeling worse makes me feel worse and so on.
TL;DR: | Broke up with my girlfriend. Shes great. Not her fault. Dont think its mine either. None of that consoles me, and I bet it consoles her even less, and I feel so shitty I want to die. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Did she [24/F] break up with me [31/M] without actually breaking up with me?
POST: So we have been dating for just over a month. In that time we have gone out about 10 times. The last time we went out we got to talking and she admitted that she is not ready for a serious relationship, and she has realized that she is not completely over her last relationship which ended 7 months ago. Her last relationship lasted 5 years and they were supposed to get married, but it turns out he had been cheating on her for two years. I know how she feels and where she is at because I have an ex-fiancee myself.
The problem is that she made it sound like she still wanted to talk and go out with me. This was three days ago and since then I have not heard a single word from her. At this time I'm thinking that what she told me was her way of breaking up with me without actually just coming out and breaking up with me. What I am trying to figure out is if I should even bother trying to contact her, or just cut my losses and move on?
TL;DR: | Been going out for over a month and she tells me she's not ready for anything serious and is still not over her last relationship. Do I try contacting her or move on? |
SUBREDDIT: r/needadvice
TITLE: Life is falling apart, need objective advice
POST: Hey Reddit,
I'm in quite a pickle to be honest. I'm 23[M] and I'm very desperate for some objective advice on how to handle my situation.
- Obvious one out of the way first: extreme social anxiety and a bit of depression has left me with about 2 "friends" and I barely (want to) speak to them. To be honest, they just keep me around because they feel bad for me or something. (Overheard this.)
- My parents and I barely speak anymore since I moved out. They were always fairly abusive and manipulative so they didn't like when they couldn't 'abuse' me whenever they wanted.
- I was recently fired due to being an 'inadequate' employee, this despite being pretty much the top employee of the company for about a year. I was one in a batch of 12 fired employees who were, seemingly overnight, 'inadequate.' No explanation, just a pink slip.
- The school I applied for last month called me this morning to notify me that I'm not being accepted. They had me take 2 tests (I scored 96% and 87%) and I had a pretty good talk with the head admin about my peculiar school history (I hadn't gone to school for about 4 years due to medical reasons). They even unofficially showed me the 'you-are-accepted' document which they signed in front of me. Now whenever I call them and mention my name, their administrative department is 'busy.'
- Student debt. Behind on rent. The usual financial shit.
- I barely do something for 'myself', like a hobby or a skill to master. I'm so used to just working fulltime that I don't have any time for me. Now I have too much time and I don't know what to do except push out resumes and go job/schoolhunting.
- My girlfriend and I are having some relationship issues. I know, I know, I should go over to /r/Relationship_Advice for this one but it's just worth noting that on the love-end of things, it isn't peachy either.
TL;DR: | No job, no school, rocky relationship, no family life ,very few "friends", social anxiety, depression. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Stuck in a bit of a life rut, any suggestions on what to do?
POST: I'm 22, live with my dad and 2 sisters and have a girlfriend who I've been seeing for 2 and a half years. I've been going to college for a little over a year but recently the school has dropped me because i've missed too many classes. I haven't had a car for the longest time because I had a accident which left my stranded with no ride to class. Now the school has ride sharing program where they find someone in your class or someone who lives near you willing to help you out, but they couldn't find anyone to do that. My friends all have jobs and i had no way to get places. I've been working at a Gas station for a few months, full time with benefits and get paid a whopping 7.50 an hour. Now besides all the car repair bills that left me near broke from my past savings, I have car insurance, phone bill, and other bills i help my dad with around the house. Now the student loans are catching up and say i need to start making payments in a few months. Now I don't want to work at a gas station my whole life, I've been taking computer courses, programming ones but to be honest I think I bit off a little more than I can chew with them because it's freakin' hard. This is the cheapest school I can find with a very limited selection of courses to take. Oh and my car, although repaired at the moment, won't make it much longer so I have that in the back of my mind, not to mention i want to have my own apartment this year, one of my new years resolutions. I need some kind of motivation to do something with my life i just don't know what to do. Any suggestions?
TL;DR: | I have alot of bills, i work at a gas station making minimum wage, college has dropped me. What can I do to get my life rolling. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do i (24f) deal with emotional hurt from my husbands (25m) mother ?
POST: I am having some issues with my mil one being I was very sick and my mil wanted us to come to a community event for dinner. I skipped my family dinner my dads birthday for this event as she backed me into a corner an basically said your married now so you have to miss your dads birthday. When I arrived she said oh how is my baby ( to her son) and basically ignored me didn't even ask how are u feeling. I was feeling so sick, yet se ask her son who isn't even sick how are u are u sick? After the party his mom invited us over my husband said no she is sick and his mom was like " what do you mean she is sick?" Acting all confused . She clearly knew I was sick I did not get one thanks for coming or how are u?
Also she has been so fake around my parents, she will hug me and say she loves me but when my parents are not around she will basically ignore me.
This actually hurts my feelings because I started to notice a difference in her behaviour toward me and i felt so stupid for thinking maybe she actually loved me. I could see that day I was sick she does not care about me.
I noticed a decline in her treatment toward me in the last few weeks since our honeymoon.
I'm so worried because we are moving in with my in laws while we wait to buy a house and I'm so worried and anxious about living with them. I'm a sensitive person and her not caring about my and only her son really hurts.
I can't explain how I feel. Please advise how can I be strong.
When I talked to my husband he said " welcome I my childhood, where my mom never cares about me and was selfish"
TL;DR: | mother In law deliberately ignores me acts fake and makes me feel unimportant, how do I deal when I'm going to be moving in with her |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24 M] with my ltr ldr poly gf [22 F] 4yr, how to salvage a gf that is growing distant
POST: We're in a ltr ldr poly. Yes she started dating a new guy but we agreed it would not sacrifice the time or quality we spend together talking/texting/skyping/watching movies online
Except that's exactly what she's doing. As well as keeping her new relationship semi-secret and never telling me what she's up to.
It feels more like an affair than true poly.
I told her to stop dating the guy, she doesn't want to.
And i've been with her for 4 years, love of my life, we've been through a lot, so i'll try everything possible before i leave her of course.
I've been confronting her about it, she just says she's been busy. Huh, not too busy to spend 8 hours a day with her new bf apparently. Honestly this kind of lying and weaseling pisses me the fuck off.
If she doesn't love me anymore i deserve to know. Because ignoring your first boyfriend hoping he goes away or something is fucking childish. It's like she's waiting me to break up so she doesn't feel bad about her doing the break-up. Weak and pathetic really.
I have been complaining to her for a week, exposing my feelings, and she hasn't made any effort to spend more time with me. I can wait like 40 hrs before she texts me...honest fucking ly.
TL;DR: | I want to corner her into speaking up so we can decide if she will commit to spend more time with me, or to tell me the truth so i know if i should pull myself or what. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [24f] feel my bf [25m] is way overreacting to having exes as friends on Facebook. Is it me or him?
POST: The me start by saying we have been together for a year and seven months, we have been living together for seven of those. Despite this he seems to have insecurity issues that I can't seem to console.
The title says it all. About a year ago he found out I was friends with exes and we had a big drag out, knock down fight about it. So to shut him up I deleted them. Now a year later, I think it is stupid. The one he's upset about at the moment, was a fuck buddy, who moved to Florida. We live in the northeast! He doesn't understand the concept that people can be civil and friends after said interactions. (He has only had 3 relationships before me, which all ended badly)
So now I'm a "selfish bitch" for wanting to keep minimal contact with these people... I don't feel I am betraying him. How do I go about this without giving ground?
TL;DR: | bf thinks I'm a selfish bitch for being friends with exes on Fb. I don't feel I am doing anything wrong. Am I wrong or is he overreacting? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [17M] with my mom [45/F], who's mad at me for not wearing a jacket to school.
POST: I'm not good with describing stuff in long paragraphs, so I'll just post it in point form:
- School starts at 9:30am for me
- It's a three minute walk
- It's been 50 degrees outside for weeks
- I don't feel cold at all
My mom is really mad at me for not wearing a jacket when i walk to school, and is trying to force me to put it in. I 100% don't feel cold at all when I'm outside, and will likely put it on once December comes around.
She also says that since other kids wear their jackets, I should too. And if i don't, they'll call social services.
TL;DR: | Mom wants me to put my jacket on when I walk to school since she thinks its cold, but i don't. |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: Went up since 2006 and on my way down again!
POST: [Progress Pictures](
Just a little story about how this happened... and I'm talking about gaining almost 30kg... not losing 10kg.
When I was younger, I was a competitive swimmer with my ultimate goal being competing for the Finnish national swimming team in the 2012 olympics. However, when I was at a competition, my tricep in my left arm ripped. My doctor couldn't find anything and told me it was just a strain. I kept swimming after a short break and found out later I just ripped it even more. Basically when I was 17 I was told I could never swim competitively again, because my arm wouldn't be the same again.
So I stopped. Only I kept eating the same way as I did when I would train 16 hours a week. I would drink 3 liters of cola a day. That's right. A day! And of course eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. Without the training, it all settled and I gained a lot of weight within a year.
I decided to lose the weight long time ago, but never really did anything about it... for at least a year. Then, at the start of 2013, I decided to really take it seriously. I have a stationary bike, which I use everyday for an hour burning around 700 calories. I even started swimming leisurely... Also my girlfriend of four years dumped me, which gave me another reason to change my life around.
Although I don't post much on loseit, I am very thankful for this subreddit! Just reading all these success stories really helps to keep me motivated. My goal is 80kg and become the sporty type again.
Thank you loseit!
TL;DR: | Stopped competitive swimming, gained 30kg, finally started dieting and exercising, down 10 kg since January looking forward to losing the next 20kg! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [22F] am still bitter about my Ex [23M] from a year ago, want to be friends, or at least be happy.
POST: So, I dated my ex for 1.5 years and we broke up about a year ago. I've tried dating and seeing other people, but the aftermath of the breakup left me shattered (horrible self-confidence and anxiety). I might also add that there were some trust issues since he sent messages to another girl saying he wanted to sleep with her early into the relationship.
Recently I started dating a nice guy and I felt like I had gotten to a place where I could be somewhat friends with my ex. We've exchanged a couple of texts, but nothing more than just a civil "how are you? How are classes?" yadda yadda.
The past day or so I've noticed that I'm still really bitter about my ex and the way things ended.
My current bf is a sweet guy and I'm really attracted to him, but I don't feel satisfied in our relationship. For me, there seems to be a big disconnect in our communication. He takes a lot of my jokes too literally, and he sometimes "kicks me when I'm down" or tries to invalidate my opinions in front of his friends.
Since the semester just started I've tried getting more involved with different things, but it seems to drive more of a wedge between my current boyfriend and I as opposed to bringing us closer together by giving us the space we need.
I really don't care if this makes me sound like a dirtbag for still being bitter about my ex even though I'm dating someone else.
I don't know if I'm giving enough info, so if I need to clarify, I'll add more.
TL;DR: | I want to know if this being bitter thing will ever end? And I want advice on what to do about my current relationship? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dogs
TITLE: Dog diagnosed with diabetes.
POST: My families dog(dachshund) has been diagnosed with diabetes, and my parents have decided on euthenasia.. I've offered to pay the vet bills(very expensive) and the insulin etc. However their not willing to give the needles twice a day. To be fair my father works out of town as well so its my mother. My younger sister who still lives at home said she would do the needles whenever she can(most days). However they won't budge, and have basically shown resentment towards me for trying to help.
I love the dog very much, and I do not know what to do.. My hands are tied, and I'm trying everything I can.
I hope they change their mind, the dog is only 8.5 and otherwise very healthy..
It just seems ludicrous in my mind to put down a dog simply because it has diabetes.. Ultimately there's only so much I can do, but I'm conflicted and heartbroken.. So I needed to vent.
TL;DR: | my 8.5 yo dachshund has diabetes, and my parents plan on putting her down, because they feel the needles are too expensive, and too much of a hassle. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [22 F] girlfriend tells me [24 M] all her family's history, 3 months, what's right about that?
POST: I've listened to all my girlfriends troubles. But lately the more she talks about how ashamed she is of her sister sleeping around or the craziness of her family, the conversations we have start dragging down into the mud. And we talk for nearly 2 hours a day on phone.
I barely tell her any of my family history problems for fear that we'll just be two people who talk shit about others and wallow in despair. Sister's divorce, sisters being shitty roommates, mom's crazy. She hates certain people and tells me I should be aware of them. She thinks it's lying if I'm omitting information, but I think what information is relevant (cheating) is what makes it lying.
Maybe she's too honest. She told me that in an alternate reality she would be dating my brother and I would be dating her sister. That makes me pretty mad, but I laugh it off because then the mood would be very tense. She's very kind and funny, but it makes me wonder why she doesn't just use someone else as her vault of secrets. I'm not expecting anything out of her telling me, but I did ask her why she tells me these things, and that made her question if I regret hearing them, and it could affect how we will talk in the future.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend tells me possibly too much information where it's even negatively affecting our interactions. How common does this happen? What to do about it without making an issue of issues an issue? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How can my immediate family avoid drama (my dad and his girlfriend he left my mother for) while attending my grandmother's funeral? (Details inside.)
POST: Okay, long story short, my dad left my mother of 27 years to go and live with his girlfriend. He abandoned my mom, younger brother and I to go and live with her, all while not paying child support for awhile and stuff. Basically, my grandmother at first thought that it was somehow my mother's fault, even though my father has struggled with depression.
After awhile she figured that it was really my father who was wrong, but then my father kept trying to turn his mother against my mother, saying that it was her that pushed him awhile and stuff. Grandma didn't buy it and dad kept trying to bring his new girlfriend into her life, even though my grandma was already sick with two types of cancer and was dying already, possibly from the stress of my parent's nasty separation.
So, at the funeral (I still don't know when it will be) my father is most likely going to bring his girlfriend. Even mentioning this woman's name is enough to make my mother cry, and I hate to see her cry and I try to protect her at all costs from things like this because it just breaks my heart to see her upset.
Anyway, I'm sure that the girlfriend will be there and she might even have to sit in the row with us (I'm guessing all the immediate family will be in the first row or so), and I swear that if I see this bitch I am going to rip all of her hair out and smash her face in for messing up my family.
TL;DR: | My father left my mom, brother and I for a new girlfriend and will probably be bringing her to my grandmother's funeral - I would like to avoid drama with her at all costs even though I want to kick her teeth in. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: 22/f dating 29/m it's going great but wish I was living my ex's life
POST: I've been with current boyfriend for 2 years. He's great and we get along really easily. I'm jealous because my ex is living the equivalent of my dream(I want to be a competitive freeskier). He's got a snowboard sponsor and he lives in the mountain town I've wanted to live in. I have a hard time seeing his snowboard videos and pictures from mutual friends' facebook while I've been wanting to live that life but I've been making excuses because I'm in a trades program and I don't want to be injured during the college course I'm paying for. It's not my boyfriend's fault I feel this way so he's completely innocent, but I feel like a total douchebag for feeling like this. I don't want to tell him I feel like this because there's not much he can do since it's my own problem. I'm trying not to be jealous because everyone takes a different path to their goals, but I wish I was pushing my limits like my ex is and getting somewhere. I've pretty much been sitting on my ass for the last two years not accomplishing any of my goals. I know my current boyfriend will help me with whatever I want to do, but I feel stupid wanting certain things because he's older and I don't want to appear like a bratty 22 year old who wants to ski everyday and live like a hobo.
Am I just being weak? I don't want to break up with my boyfriend to find someone with the same goals because I feel like I would be using him as a vessel to reach my goals. Which is horrible.
TL;DR: | boyfriend is great, but I'm jealous of pro snowboarder ex because I want to be pro skier. Can't decide whether I require a punch to the face or not. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me[20M] with my girlfriend [19F] of 1 and a half years, libido mismatch putting a strain on the relationship
POST: So we've talked to eachother for a while about the subject now, and we've come to the agreement that our libidos just do not match. Although it didnt take a rocket scientist to realise that.
Sure the lack of sex itself really sucks, but the main problem here is the fact that after a week or two without sex, I start to get all needy, jealous and cranky. I previously attributed these feelings to other things, but I've realised now why I really get them..
When trying to explain these feelings I asked how long she could go without sex, she told me it wouldn't really bother her to go completely without sex entirely..
The thing is, if it came down to it I would choose to just get rid of my libido and live in blissful sexless happiness, but I know that can't happen.
I love this girl and I don't want the relationship to end, but if I go another 2 month period without sex I'll end up snapping and ending it. And as I said, I really don't want that to happen.
Any suggestions for me or her? I'm no longer by myself on this one. We're both open to ideas.
TL;DR: | lack of sex making me angry/frustrated. May cause unwanted breakup. Both of us have talked about it and are looking for solutions. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (21) don't like kissing my boyfriend (20) anymore.
POST: I'm a girl who loves kissing. I can honestly kiss someone until my lips start to hurt. It doesn't have to lead to sex, I just love making out. It's one of my favourite things in the world and always have been, especially with someone I have feelings for. My boyfriend was not a exeption, when we first started dating we made out for hours, and even a long time into our relationship we never stopped our passionate make out-sessions. So this is why I'm confused to why this has happened, it's totally not like me.
I've been with my boyfriend for 1 and a half year. Great boyfriend, great relationship. But I can't remember the last time I wanted to make out with him. I do want sex though, and I still find him attractive. We have sex just as often as before. We would make out for a while before doing it, but now it just feels like a obligation and I feel like I just want to get it over with so we can have sex.
When we have sex he wants to kiss me before or during and I just turn my head away as fast as I dare.
I do enjoy everything else about being in a relationship, like holding hands, sex, cuddling. I love sleeping next to him, spooning or just hugging.
When I see someone else i'm attracted or when I fantasize I think about making out, so it's not kissing on general I don't like anymore, just not with my boyfriend.
I've been having some issues with him for some time which might be a factor in this. I have been tired of him being lazy and unmotivated and even though we have talked about it and him getting better, it's still somewhat of a problem. That's the only explanation I can think of, but I don't think it's a legit one since I still find him attractive, likes spending time with him, want's sex etc. And I'm pretty sure this kissing-thing started before that started affecting our relationship. I'm hoping it's just a phase, but it's been a long time now so i'm starting to get more and more worried. Am I falling out of love?
TL;DR: | I don't like kissing/making out with my boyfriend anymore. I have always loved it until some time ago, what is causing this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [18M] not exactly sure what I'm supposed to do now[18F].
POST: So grad was this weekend. It was alright I guess. I wasn't planning on going with anyone, but I got asked. Really, kind of a surprise for me, but whatever. She asked me about 3 months ago.
After she asked me if I wanted to go to grad, we went on a few dates, and just kinda hung out. I've never really had a real girlfriend so I thought "sweet, this might turn into something serious".
Things were alright for a bit, and I felt like things were going along fine. Then she says that she got accepted to university, and that she would be moving ~3 hours away. That wasn't a big deal for me, but I could see why she wouldn't want to start anything.
Since then, she kinda became a little more vague. Is that the right word for it? Distant? Fuck if I know the word for it. It's kinda bumming me out, she kinda seemed un-interested at grad. She also got her ex to help her pack for college, like what the fuck. Is that normal?
I bought her a necklace, but forgot to bring it to grad, so it's sitting in a drawer. Should I give it to her still? I'm not sure if shes into me or not.
TL;DR: | I'm fucking clueless when it comes to relationships. And I'm not sure what to do with a necklace I got for a girl. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [26M] want to get back together with my ex [22F]. How bad of an idea is it, and how do I?
POST: So I posted a thread about a week ago saying my girlfriend was having issues, and I was looking for help on how to keep her during them. By the end of that day, she had already ended things. Now I want her back.
I've been told to give her time and space, and to let her work things out on her own time without the pressure of me trying to be in a relationship. I've gone a full week with no contact. At what point do I get in touch with her, and what do I say? I want to give her time, but I also don't want to give too much time so that she is completely over me and moves on to the next guy.
Next question, is it even a good idea? Am I holding on hopelessly?
TL;DR: | I want my ex back after she dumped me. What do I say, and is it a bad idea in the first place? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [24 M] am worried that my wife [24 F] less than one year, is going to do sexual things with her former lover [24 F] when she goes back home for a friend's wedding.
POST: I've known my wife, Carol, since grade school. We dated for a year and a half before we got married, and dated as teenagers as well. She is bisexual and has a former lover, Nikki. She was invited to a friend's wedding out of state and will be a bridesmaid. She was encouraged to bring a friend as I can't make it to the wedding. So her +1 is Nikki.
Nikki sent Carol a Facebook message on the day of our wedding about how she's happy for us, but she wishes she could've been in a serious relationship with Carol. In the past few weeks, Nikki has texted Carol things like "I miss your lips," and "I miss your soft skin." Nikki herself is in a relationship with a man. Carol replied to those specific texts with "I miss yours too."
I explicitly told Carol that I was uncomfortable with her spending time with Nikki, and that it seems like they are planning on being intimate or at least physical while she is there. Carol replied without saying she will or won't do anything, just saying that Nikki is not the type of person to initiate things, and that she (Carol) would talk to me about anything before she would just do something. She wouldn't be sneaky, lie, or try to hide something.
I told Carol that I would never be okay with her being physical with any other person. She said "you knew I was bi when you married me." I said, "you knew I was straight, I don't have any feelings for other people, and I certainly don't try to maintain relationships with attractive women and plan to spend days with them alone. What gives you the prerogative to do exactly that? I'm committed to you, I don't keep up with old girlfriends, why do you? Are you committed to me"
She says she is committed to me, she wants to be with me, and wouldn't leave me or divorce me, but maybe we can't work if that's how I feel.
TL;DR: | I feel entitled to exclusivity with my wife, but she's not willing to drop continuing and resumed contact with one particular former lover or her ex-boyfriends and be exclusive, totally honest and forthcoming with me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21F] with my boyfriend [21 M] of over a year, has done nothing to show he is untrustworthy, however I feel very insecure when he casually spends time with other girls
POST: My boyfriend, who also happens to be my best friend, is a really wonderful person. He's very honest and open, and always expects the same from me. He has done nothing to make me doubt his trust.
He's had female friends throughout college, even female roommates. Again, within those relationships it is very obvious that I have nothing to worry about. But I do. I really try not to show it, because coming off as the insecure/ jealous girlfriend is in no way admirable. I also understand that anyone I date will have friends of both genders, just like I do, and that not everyone is out to ruin my relationship.
Last week my boyfriend said he is going to meet up with a female friend he hasn't seen in a while, just to catch up and spend some time. Upon hearing this I had a bit of an internal meltdown. Why? I don't know. There is no good reason. I tried to keep it together, why should I stop him from seeing old friends? I think not knowing her is what is making me the most insecure. My mind is cruel, and I always imagine the worst of what I do not know. After some facebook stalking of this girl, the meltdown continues. She is insanely beautiful, like what-the-fuck pretty, and knowing my boyfriend, she's a cool person too.
The level of insecurity I feel is tearing me apart. Obviously this is a reoccurring problem I struggle with, but right now I am feeling especially terrible and anxious about him seeing an old friend. I would like to clarify that I really would like some advice as to what I should do. This is really a ME problem, and I feel like I shouldn't be adulting in this fashion.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend is very trustworthy, but when he hangs out with other girls I feel very jealous/insecure. He is going to see an old female friend next week and I am freaking out, how can I change my thinking? |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Schedule Change No Notification (CA)
POST: Hey Reddit!
So I work at a franchise Carl's Jr. In San Diego CA. From the start I have told my employer I can NOT work on Friday. I've worked there for two months and every single week my manager has scheduled me on friday, and time and time again I'm schedule Friday. I have constantly told her not to schedule me on Friday but without fail she does. This friday as an act of disobedience and not giving two Sh*** I refused to call her. I was next scheduled Sunday (today) 4-11:45pm. I went in to work only to see that I was crossed off on the schedule and the manager there refused to let me clock in. I called the scheduling manager and she told me she changed the schedule because I didn't call her on Friday. in her own words "You didn't call me so I refused to call you" I was stunned by was she said something so childish coming from a Store manager. I told her how she is a Manager and REQUIRED to call me. She told me to come in tomorrow and "have a talk with her". I checked the schedule for next week and I have TWO hours only.
TL;DR: | worker can't work friday manager schedules him anyways and when worker doesn't call manager takes his other hours away as punishment. Manager refuses to call worker and notify of schedule change. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25 M] with my Ex-GF [25 F]. Been broken up (and basically no contact) for 1.5 years. Dated for 5. Help me move on please.
POST: As the title card says, we dated for a long time and I miss her. We lived together for several years and she was a major part of my life. Our relationship became less than ideal at the end and she cheated on me, so I ended things and went no contact.
For a few weeks after we were in contact to exchange belongings but once that was over there was nothing. About 6 months in, she contacted me saying she wanted to meet up and reconcile. I brushed her away and kept the no contact thing up (since I was under the impression that was the best way to get over someone).
However here I am a year and a half after our relationship ended and I still think about her probably daily. I do not want our relationship back, in hindsight she really wasn't that great of a girlfriend (beyond even the cheating I mean).
I'd imagine part of my problem is that I haven't dated anyone else since then. My job is online so I don't get out much, and I'm somewhat of an introvert so I prefer to spend time in, or when I do go out its typically with family. And beyond either of these things, I simply have no desire to start another relationship.
I'm quite sociable and funny. I'm attractive and smart with decent ambitions in life. I guess I'm saying this to point out its not like I think I will never have a girlfriend again, or that my ex was the best I can do or anything. But I have no drive to seek out a girl, and I think that is inhibiting my ability to move on from my ex.
So any advice or past experiences from the community here would be much appreciated.
Thanks in advance.
TL;DR: | Still think about my ex way too often. I do **not** want to get back together with her. How to move on? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I tell him to spend more time with me but when he does, I push him away.
POST: Boyfriend and I have been together 2 years. He started getting back into gaming approx. 9 months into our relationship. Beforehand, we would spend **all** our time together, as a couple in their honeymoon stage would. When he got into gaming, I really didn't mind. It gave me a chance to get study done and it made him happy. As time went on, he played more and more; to the point where we were not spending any quality time together and I'd travel to see him for the weekend just to end up studying. I talked to him about it, he didn't realize it was upsetting me and agreed to spend more time with me.
Now, here's the problem. When I hear his computer start up, my heart sinks and I get worked up and angry about it but carry on with my thing, wishing we would be doing something together. After a bit of gaming, he comes and asks me if there's anything I'd like to do with him and as much as I'd like to, I always push him away and tell him to go back to his games and I don't feel like doing anything. I believe the reason why I do this is underlying from my past relationship where everything seemed perfect and he had never, ever done anything to upset me until one day he left me for no reason and years on I'm still not completely over it. I'd like to think that if my current bf was to dump me, it would be easy for me to get over him because he "never spent time with me and always playing games, neglecting me, being a jerk and didn't treat me right".
I really don't want to feel like this anymore but don't know how to get over it.
TL;DR: | I want my bf to "neglect" me and not spend time with me so if he one day breaks up with me, I can think of him as a jerk and get over him easily. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [37M] broke it with my girlfriend [44F], feeling like I couldn't deal with an open relationship. Now I regret it...should I try to make it work?
POST: Background: We're both in the process of divorce, after many years of marriage. I've been dating for over a year, and her just recently and only with me and one other person.
We started dating, and she let me know she was seeing someone occasionally, who lives a few hundred miles away. She visits maybe once a month. At first, I figured we were just dating, and I wasn't exclusive with her either. But after a few weeks it became more than that and she even said she'd be jealous if I were seeing someone else. I told her I wouldn't anymore, and that she satisfies me in every way.
So a couple weeks ago she told me she was heading out of town to see her FB. I kind of lost it and told her I wasn't OK with it. She got all teary and said she didn't want this to end. I agreed to think about it, but that it would hurt me. She chose to go anyways, knowing it would hurt me. So when she came back I called it off. She totally understood, but was sad about losing me, and the door is still open to start something up again.
The problem is that the sex is epic and we've both agreed there's more to it even than just that. We were both surprised with how natural and easy it's been. I'm more in a place of wanting to find someone to have a LTR, while I think she needs to shop it around a bit, or at least not be tied down. So should I make a clean break, and get out? Should I try out having an open relationship? Should I give her a few months/year and let her figure out what exactly she wants?
TL;DR: | We see other people. I get jealous, she doesn't. Can I change, or is this just how some people are built? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Hey Reddit, what is the craziest way you've motivated yourself to do something?
POST: So I take really long showers. I mean REALLY long, like 30+min long (sometimes upwards of an hour). Surprisingly its spent lost in thought and/or sleeping as opposed to...*ahem*...other things. My dad used to get on to me about it as a kid, but could never really find a way to break the habit until recently. I found out that my oven takes awhile to preheat, probably somewhere around 15 minutes. So if I have a feeling I'm going to be late because of a long shower, I'll decide what I want to eat before hand, turn the oven on so it starts to preheat, then jump in the shower and essentially "race" to see if I can get ready for the day before the oven preheats. It has been completely successful in getting me ready quickly(as in, I haven't lost a race yet), but I realize this probably goes against a lot of common sense/safe operation recommendations of the oven.
TL;DR: | Used to take long showers, but now I start preheating the oven to see if I can finish showering/getting ready before its done. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19F] with my lifelong mom [53F] - I can't tell if my mom is being manipulative
POST: So I have had a rocky relationship with my mom basically my whole life. I cannot tell however if I am being dramatic or if I have a right to be so upset by her actions.
Throughout mostly my teen years I have felt almost no emotional support from my mother but I constantly find her making me feel really bad when I feel I am not doing anything wrong.
I have been living 3 hours away from my parents since September of 2013 and try to see them at least once a month and every major holiday or break.
Today I started a conversation with my mother after we hadn't spoken in about a week and told her I received my new glasses. She then replied with "Will you be coming home anytime for spring break, I was going to take some vacation time" . We had not previously discussed my spring break plans (spring break is 3 weeks out). I told her that me and my boyfriend of over a year were planning to visit his parents and then visit my parents for a couple days, and then we were going to go to the beach for another day or two after. To which my mom replied "I guess you don't want me to take time off then".
She has not messaged me back now all day (the conversation was this morning)
Two weeks prior to this conversation my mom messaged me and told me that she was coming to visit me on Valentine's Day only two days before Valentine's Day. I had already planned an evening with my boyfriend, and I mentioned to her that I also worked that day. She then proceeded to tell me that I didn't want to see her and that she should just not come then.
This back and forth happens a lot and I feel like I shouldn't have to feel guilty for having a life.
I would really like to know what other people think about this and if you need any more information on the basis of our relationship I can provide more info.
TL;DR: | My mom sends me messages which make me feel guilty. My question is should I be feeling this guilt or is my mom being manipulative? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me 28/M with my fiance 28/F 8 years, we're changing into different people which are becoming incompatible
POST: I work full-time and go to school 4 classes a semester. She works full-time and has because obsessed with the gym. We see each other for maybe 2 hours a day and this includes weekends. My classes have been killing me and I feel like I haven't seen her for 2 months. During the week I'm at school or studying and during the weekend I'm studying. We're trying to plan a wedding in-between. I finally have time off from school and accomplishing as much wedding stuff as I can.
She goes to the gym for an hour a day and is really involved with it. She stays late and does extra workouts, talks to the gym folk, and watches youtube/facebook vids of these popular crossfitters at home every day. She is extremely anxious about wedding stuff and how much stuff we have to do. I explain that maybe she should take a couple days off at the gym and she won't.
I don't do well when people complain because I am more of a "you have a problem, fix it" type and she can see the way to fix it but isn't willing to do so. Generally we communicate really well and she's aware of all the issues in our relationship.
Every day she comes home and complains for 2 hours about the wedding, doesn't get anything done and then goes to bed. She gave me a huge list of stuff to tackle and slowly but surely I'm getting it all done. I'm starting to go insane with the constant complaining about wedding stuff but her not willing to take the time to tackle the situation. Last night she broke down crying about it and I don't even feel bad about it. I hate to admit because it makes me look like the creep I am but I was holding back laughter from the ridiculousness of it all. She knows how to fix the problem.
Sorry for the long rant.
TL;DR: | How do I get through to someone with a passion that's clouding their judgement? how can I get someone to manage their time a little better? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [27 M] have vision issues in left eye and blind in my right eye. Not sure how to bring this up to new girls I meet/date?
POST: So I'm 27 and have health problems with my vision. I'm pretty much blind in my right eye (central vision gone due to a blood leak that led to scar tissue) and my left eye is missing about 20% of the vision. It will continue to get worse until (hopefully) stem cells are perfected to fix eye issues.
I would consider myself a decent looking guy, so I'll get Tinder matches and OKCupid matches. However, I have yet to tell any girl about my vision issues. I guess I'm scared it'll turn them off. I also don't want to tell them too soon. I've only been in one relationship since my vision issues started. It didn't work out because I pushed her away as I was unable to cope with the disability at the time. But I've been on many first dates and even 2-5 dates that just didn't work out in the end. I almost told the girl I went on five dates with but decided not to.
I'm at a better place now than I was in my last relatiosnhip. I just don't know when I should bring this up to a girl? Obviously not the first date, but I want to let her know before we would make it official and I'd like to tell her before I start to like her a lot, only to have her reject me for it.
Can I get your guys/girls opinion? Thanks!
TL;DR: | Vision issues which will continue to get worse, not sure how (if I even should), or when, I should bring it up to new girls I meet |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [18M] have feelings for a girl [16F] whom I met one year ago. She lives 900km away.
POST: One year ago, I started chatting with a girl online. It started out pretty slow, but now we talk about literally everything and I've really started to like her. She likes me too, but she says she can't handle the distance. You see, I live in Sweden and she lives in the Netherlands.
And that's what brings all the problems. We live so far away from each other, we're both so young, and I know we probably shouldn't get together. But she's unique. I've never known a better girl than her. It feels wrong to just let her go because of the distance.
So what should I do? The best option would be if she somehow changed her mind about the distance. Although the healthiest option would probably be to stop talking to her and move on.
TL;DR: | I like a girl in another country. She likes me too but she can't handle the distance. What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What are some pathetic things you have seen people do?
POST: Last night I was at a Barnes & Noble quietly reading a book and drinking a frappuccino. Everything was quiet until I heard a camera shutter sound, specifically that of an iPhone. I looked up and saw some lady with a book open, looking around to make sure no one was watching her. I, of course, kept looking without her noticing and saw her take at least five more pictures of pages in a book (This book looked short and more like an instructional book rather than a novel, so taking pictures of it would probably be good enough for her). The only thing that stopped her was an employee who came through the aisle towards her, which caused her to suddenly lose interest in taking pictures of the book. The worst part about it was either that she had an iPhone and looked like she had a decent amount of money, yet couldn't be bothered to buy the book, or the fact that the shutter sound was so loud and she didn't bother to, or maybe even know how to, turn it off.
TL;DR: | Some lady at Barnes & Nobles who looked like she had a decent amount of money was taking pictures of pages in a book with her iPhone until an employee came around. |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: [Milwaukee, WI] Moving out of state with sole custody. Can Bio-Dad interrupt that by deciding he now wants to get visitation rights? (We have not been served)
POST: This is my first time using this sub so hopefully I am doing it in accordance of what you guys/gals like. I will try to make this as simple as possible so it's easy to digest hopefully helping me along the way.
**INFO:**
* ME, Dad 30 (Stepfather)
* Mother 27 (My Wife)
* Daughter 7
* Bio-Dad mid twenties
My wife has sole custody and we want to move out of state, the bio-dad recently decided to try and make our lives difficult by contesting us adopting our daughter so she is mine and changing her last name to mine. We are afraid after 5+ years of no contact he MIGHT try to gain visitation, which IF the court allowed would be supervised visits at first because of his track record. He currently has 5 other kids by two other mothers and bio-dad's mom would be the one telling him he should do it because my wife knows he doesn't actually care about our daughter sadly.
So to get to my point we have always considered moving but now this might be the motivating reason to just do it. We have not been served, but are trying to get an answer to that very question. If we move which my wife does NOT need to inform him because she has sole custody and he does not have visitation. **If he tried to gain visitation after we moved to another state is that possible? We don't want to move and somehow get served papers 1,2 or 3 weeks later after we spent all that money and then somehow end up being forced to move back...** that would be terrible and costly. We just want to go about living our lives without having to worry about such a thing.
I don't have a very good understanding of law but that's why I figured I would turn to you good people here and see if you can come up with a answer with some possible evidence proving that it would work or wouldn't work in our favor.
THANK YOU ALL!
TL;DR: | The bold sentence, but you might want to read the entire thing... lol. I won't tell you what to do! :P |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22M] and my SO [20F] of one year are having communication issues in our LDR
POST: My SO and I started dating almost a year ago in late March 2013. We were living in the same place, and we really fell for each other. We spent the month of July apart, almost as a foreshadowing for what would become our relationship. We both moved away to different places in late August, and we've been in a LDR since then.
Things have been going well. We broke up when we moved away, but we got together almost immediately. We've always been great with each other and we really want to make this work. My SO has been studying away and traveling, which has made communication very difficult, not to mention the time difference. This has caused a problem for me because I feel like I'm always available to talk to her, but I don't get that feeling from her.
I understand that she's busy, but sometimes I just feel like she could do more. She always tells me she can't have any privacy because she's traveling with friends, which I understand. It's been really difficult. Some days I just want to ignore her texts to show her what it feels like! But I am aware that is really immature, and I would never do that to her.
Right now she's traveling, so I understand where she's coming from. But in a few weeks she'll be home, we'll be in the same time zone, and i'm worried she'll still be flaky with communication.
I feel like she doesn't understand where I'm coming sometimes. I will pull my phone out at work to respond to a text of hers, but I feel like she wouldn't respond to a text of mine if she was even a little busy. I feel like I am doing most of the work to make sure we stay connected and in communication.
Am I being too dramatic? What are some things I could do or say that could improve the situation?
TL;DR: | I feel like I'm putting all the work in our relationship in terms of communication, and I'm worried this won't change even when she returns home from traveling. |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Possible malpractice?
POST: Sorry if this is formatted badly. I'm on mobile and this is my first post.
So I suffer from severe asthma and have been on medication my entire life for it. A number of months ago my doctor prescribed a medication called zyflo. After taking this medication regularly I noted that my joints were very painful and decided to inform my doctor the next time I saw her. She then informs me she has never heard of anyone having those side effects and asked if i wasn't sure that it couldn't be anything else. I agreed that maybe it was something else unrelated and decided to continue taking the medication. After awhile the pain was unbearable. I work in a retail setting and am on my feet 90% of my day. My knees would swell and be painful to the touch. On a hunch I ceased taking the medication. It improved the joint pain slightly but not a significant extent but anything helped at this point. Once going in for another check up my doctor is upset to find that I had stopped taking the medication and asked that I start again immediately. I complain again about the joint pain and she disregards it as an unrelated matter and that if I thought the pills helped at all I should begin using them again immediately. Trusting my doctor I did exactly that. Only to be in so much pain that I cannot sleep. So now sure that the pills play some part I went to the drugs website to make sure this was not one of its side effects and sure enough, it is. Furthermore the website states that should these side effects persist to stop taking the medication and consult a medical professional immediately. My knees have not been the same since beginning this medication. Do I have reasonable grounds for malpractice or should I just start looking for a new specialist?
TL;DR: | doctor prescribes new med, I suffer complications, get ignored, complications get worse, find out is a known side effect that may have now caused permanent danage to my joints. Malpractice or shitty doc? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [23/m] Having difficulty in a break up and the actions of my recent ex gf[20/F]
POST: A little background first, I was in a relationship with this girl and everything was going great. However, the biggest issue for us was that our cultures were different, I'm Pakistani and she's Indian. While we were together the thought of my mom not accepting her into my family always lingered in my girlfriend's mind, but she wanted me to tell my mom about us. Knowing how it would end I told my mom and the result was what I expected, my mom wasn't having it. I told my girlfriend about my argument with my mom and even though she was happy I told my mom, she couldn't handle it and we broke up. So the break up is pretty fresh and now she's talking to and spending time with this other guy. We talked about it and she says that she's emotionally weak and always pushes herself to the next guy that gives her attention. I found out through her that they kissed and hang out. She then says that the time we had was special and that the feelings we shared were genuine. As much as I believe her I still and I understand her weakness and that she needs to work on that on her own, I can't help but feel used. I feel like what we had between us meant nothing to her. I told her this and she says that its not the case but I see them on campus from time to time and I know I can't do anything but I turn into the crazy ex-boyfriend and I stare at them. I just want this to stop and move on with my life, I need to focus on myself but every time I see them something clicks and I go crazy. Please help.
TL;DR: | My girlfriend and I broke up she's kind of seeing someone else to help her cope with our break up but it makes me feel as if the time we spent together never meant anything to her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25M] with my brother [23M], he was a dick to me and attacked my girlfriend [21F] of over a year. How should I handle this?
POST: I [25M] have been with my girlfriend, C [21F], for over a year. We went through a really rocky patch where this girl who we thought we were both friends with (R [21F]) tried to break us up, encouraged me to cheat on my girlfriend, and talked trash about my girlfriend at every opportunity. Our friend group, of which my brother is a part of, joined in on this. To this day, I still don't know what brought this on- but it probably had something to do with the fact that this girl and I had hooked up once.
Anyway, to modern day, I stopped hanging out with them because I was sick of how they treated C and how they treated me. Last weekend, my brother invited the whole group to my house to basically day drink, smoke weed, and have a fire. I wasn't really okay with this to begin with and when he brought R, I was very much not okay with it. Especially as the last bit of communication I received from R was that she was going to "turn my brother against me" so that he would hate me as much as she did.
So I texted my brother, telling him I wasn't okay with this and immediately he started attack C- calling her a manipulative bitch, and saying other things I don't even feel comfortable saying on here.
Next weekend my brother and I are supposed to go camping with our parents. One of the main events is watching him cliff dive because a TV network is coming out to film him and a group of cliff divers.
I am beyond pissed at him, my girlfriend wants nothing to do with him (which I completely understand and support), but what should I do? How do I handle this?
TL;DR: | My brother did something knowing I wasn't okay with it, I called him out on it. He responded by attacking my girlfriend and saying things I'm very much not okay with. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [28/M] with my ex of 8 months [25/F] dated for 3.5 years, grandmother just passed. Do I say something?
POST: Hello everyone. Just like the title says. I dated this woman for 3.5 years. I ended it. We had no contact. She called me once about 4 months after the break up. Haven't heard from her since. I just found out through her cousin's FB post that her grandmother passed away. I was very close with her family and her grandmother.
I want to say something, but should I? Nothing to try and win her back but just something along the lines of "I heard your grandma passed. Just wanted to offer my condolences to you and your family. I don't require a response. Just wanted to lend my support, not that you need it."
TL;DR: | Ex GF of 3.5 years (Broke up 8 months ago)'s grandmother passed away... Wanted to offer condolences. Should I? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Am I unreasonable or is she?
POST: My wife and I have been married for 6 years, we're both 28. I always knew she was the jealous type, but lately it feels worse than it's ever been. I've been building a (strictly friend-only) relationship with a couple women that I've met, and the way she talks about it, I feel like she's accusing me of cheating on her, which is something I'd never do. To me, there's nothing weird about male-female friendship at all. I don't think I should feel guilty about going out to lunch with a friend or talking on the phone, or texting or anything, but it seems to drive my wife crazy.
We have a 2 year old together, and I love my kid, but lately it just feels like I'm growing away from my wife. I love her, she's my high school sweetheart and she's the mother of my child, but I can't handle this jealousy.
Basically, my wife is pressuring me into never having any kind of a close friendship with anyone of the opposite sex, and I feel like that's completely unreasonable for her to ask of me. There's more history between my wife and I, but this is what bothers me the most lately. Help!
TL;DR: | Wife thinks my having close female friends is an emotional affair. (Just realized that's a pun. This is serious, I assure you.) |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: M[21] trying to start something new without hurting recent ex F[21]
POST: I broke up with my girlfriend of 2 years about a month ago. We're both at the same university and in about a week, she's moving away. I'm moving a week after that. We had been drifting apart, and I initiated the breakup. In the end, she needed the relationship more than I did and has been having a pretty tough time. We've been in touch at her request, but our interactions end up being emotional for her.
I'm only here for another two weeks, but I recently ran into this girl I've had a small crush on for the last few years. We've been texting back and forth and she's been flirty. I'm interested in pursuing a short fling before we leave, leaving open the possibility of something more serious down the line.
During the breakup, my ex asked me to give her a heads up if I was going to get involved with anyone anytime soon. I agreed. (Why did I do this?!?!) Should I tell her about this? If so, how do I tell her in a way that isn't rubbing it in that I'm over her and is instead giving her a heads up before she finds out from other people?
TL;DR: | My ex-gf is still hurting while I'm ready for something new. How do I cause the least pain? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25M] with my girlfriend [23F] for one year, I love her but I am having serious doubts and not sure what to do.
POST: I love my girlfriend. She loves me. We care about each other immensely. We have a good sex life. We trust each other. I can't imagine being with anyone else.
And yet, I have serious recurring doubts about the longevity of our relationship.
Our relationship has always felt a bit doomed from the start. I live in a developing country. She is from here. I had always planned on only being here temporarily but we met and we fell in love and we gave it a shot. Six months ago I had decided to go traveling for a bit with the intention to go home but shortly after I left I realized how much she means to me and decided to come back. Note: we had already broken up once before this.
Recently, we looked into the immigration process and it would take approximately 2 years from the time of application to take her to my home country. We're both relatively young and probably 2 years away from marriage. That would mean 4 more years of living here... which scares the shit out of me. I seriously don't think I can do it. I feel trapped and unfulfilled here.
Our relationship isn't perfect - we fight a lot, there's a communication barrier at times, sometimes I feel emotionally manipulated and under-appreciated - but we truly love each other and we usually do our best to work through our problems. Lately she's been stressed from work and it's made things worse. She's a very private person and I feel like the relationship has made me more private as well (which I don't like). She can be a bit controlling and I feel like I am starting to lose my 'me' time. Part of these are cultural differences and differences in expectations.
I expressed my doubt to her. She told me that she loves me more than she loves herself and wants me to be happy. If that means leaving then she understands.
I've been going in circles the last few days. Part of me thinks that just because we love each other it doesn't mean that we are right for each other. And at the same time, I can't imagine being with someone else. I am not sure what to do.
TL;DR: | I am in a loving relationship in another country but at times I feel like I am losing myself and I can't imagine living here for the next 3 or 4 years (let alone 2). |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [22/M] have been with partner [23/F] for little over 3 years. Feel like I'm dating an old lady.
POST: Throwaway account just for safe measure.
I have been dating my girlfriend for a little over 3 years. We got together my freshman year of college, and was her senior year of high school. I really liked everything about her, she was crazy yet wanted to do all the fun stuff people do in high school. First year or so was great, then she had some issues at home, and my parents just recently split. Long story short, moved in together into the apartment my mom was renting before leaving town.
This is where I started feeling like things were going downhill. She quit college and was just working at a day care she has been working for since high school. Now she has a part time job, and I'm currently going to school full time, while also working full time. She has no motivatuon to do anything anymore. She is asleep when I get up, and is in bed at 9 before I'm even home from class. Then on the weekends she does nothing but sit home and read and watch TV, she wont even clean up after herself most of the time, i have to make time myself to do it usually. After a week of class I want to do stuff, its like a chore getting her to do anything with me. I want to finish school, get out of my hometown and enjoy life. But I feel as if I'm stick here with a girlfriend that never wants to do anything. I'd feel bad to leave her at this point, but I know I'm young and have plenty of time to figure out my life.
Also I'm not perfect, not trying to make it sound like its only her fault.
TL;DR: | I feel like I'm stuck in a relationship with a girl that never wants to do anything, and acts like she just wants to roll through life. I want to get out and enjoy life while I'm still young. |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: My journey began in February and my life has been great since then.
POST: I went to the doctor in February with tonsil issues and I had to get them removed, I saw my weight on the the scale 287. Wow, heavier than I was when I graduated high school two years ago. I got my tonsils out and lost some weight but still kept my bad habits. Fast forward a few months and my girlfriend breaks up with me. This switched a gear in my head- I'm now on a strict diet and am gluten free as well + go to the gym 3 times a week. Looking at the scale and seeing it say 232 lbs is such a great feeling and I can't wait to achieve my goal. So glad this subreddit exists!!!
TL;DR: | GF dumped me, realized I was a fat unhealthy kid and should change myself while it's easier. Lost 55lbs and counting. |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: It's finally time...
POST: F/21: July 7th of last year I took my blood sugar post meal and it was 270. My fasting was 175. This was terrifying to me because my mom is a type 2 diabetic who has not taken care of herself ever and only just recently got on medications etc even though she was diagnosed 15+ years ago. She's lost a toe and her ability to walk on top of being on more than 10 medications per day. All of this to say it was my wake up call. I started at 288 (5'5") and by early September was at 260. We moved from our apartment and I basically stopped tracking calories and working out and that was the end of it. I got up to 270 by January and decided to try to keep going. Was super on top of everything and got to 248 by early March. Instead of continuing to run and count calories I decided to quit and gained back up to 278 by June. Went again on mfp and lost down to 268 before I once again quit. My sugar is currently 100% normal fasting and post meal, but I am worried about it going back up.
I'm here because I actually want to lose the weight and keep it off. This past year has just been up and down and it's not what should be happening, but for some reason I absolutely can't keep motivation.
I'm currently 272 and scared to continue to gain but doing nothing about it.
Any suggestions for keeping the motivation and just continuing to lose until I'm at a healthy weight?
My other main motivation for this is that my husband and I desperately want a child. We've been trying for 3 1/2 years and the main issue is my weight. If I could get the weight off and keep it off we might have a chance at having a child, and I know that should be able to keep my motivation up but for some reason it just hasn't.
TL;DR: | I'm super fat and it's making is so I can't have kids. I need motivation and suggestions for weight loss! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [27m] girlfriend [24f] of 2 years is fat and doesn't do anything about it
POST: My girlfriend has gained 25lb since I met her. She knows it, but fails at correcting it. She will say "OK im going on a diet, I'm only going to eat _____ (apples or whatever) for the next month". She commits for a day and a half, then goes back to her normal diet.
I've tried to limit her consumption of food by controlling the groceries that we buy. This has been semi-effective. Sometimes I'll buy a bag of chips for myself, and she'll finish it the same day. Other times she'll buy herself fast food at work, I can't stop that.
Going to the gym with her has not proven effective. I've tried to show her correct form and I've tried to get her to follow a routine, but she has shown no lasting interest in following my instructions. Instead she'll do her own thing, which is fine, but also very inefficient at accomplishing anything.
Sex has become an issue. I sometimes feign disinterest in sex because I find that I'm not as aroused when I see how flabby her body is. I usually delicately skate around the topic until she loses interest and we go to bed.
What should I do? If she doesn't shape up in within the next 2 months I plan on ending it because if she's 24 and already fat, what will she be like at 30?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend has put on weight and does nothing about it, tried to get her to do something about it but nothing has worked. How do I approach this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (22M) girlfriend (19F) broke up with me because I lied to her about hanging out with another girl.
POST: I'm going to try and keep this relatively quick. Me and my now ex girlfriend (Sarah) broke up a few hours ago and I need advice. I want to get her back.We have been together since last September and things have quickly progressed into what was until last night a loving relationship.
Here's where I screwed up... Sarah once told me she has a problem with another girl that I consider to JUST my friend (let's say her name is Jane). I agreed that I wouldn't hang out with Jane and promised my Sarah that I wouldn't. Long story short Sarah read one of my texts to Jane that was asking her to come and hang out at my place and smoke.
Now, I know that I am at fault here. I accept that I screwed up and betrayed Sarah's trust and never told her about me trying to hang out with Jane until she read that text. The thing is, all I honestly wanted to do was to hang out with Jane as a friend and nothing more, but Sarah won't accept it. She says that I lied to her, to which I have profusely apologized for, and sworn that I will never do it again.
A few hours ago Sarah came to my place with a suitcase and took her stuff back and said we are done with, all because I broke my promise. I literally got on my knees and begged and pleaded with her telling her that I loved her, and told her it would never happen again. But she wouldn't accept it, she left me but not until she hugged me and told me that she loved me. I broke down and cried and begged some more, asking for one more chance, but Sarah said no. All I want is for her to be back in my arms, I truly love her and never want to betray her again.
TL;DR: | didn't tell my girlfriend about texting another girl that she dislikes to hang out, she broke up with me and I want her back |
SUBREDDIT: r/GetMotivated
TITLE: [Question] How Do I Start?
POST: I'm currently sitting here eating breakfast of cold pizza. Cold pizza that my now ex girlfriend was "kind enough" to bring me when she was out having dinner with a guy that I found out she cheated on me with. Our relationship was a long one and out of the 3 serious (longer than 6 months) relationships I've had this is the first girl I could see myself with for the rest of my life. Since I found out she cheated on me I've been finding she's been lying about a lot of very important things up to and including her 4 year college degree. She's also moved on and is now dating someone else, different from the one she cheated on me with.
I've always been a positive person and even very sad events didn't keep me down for long but because I truely thought she was the one, I've lost a lot of my direction and am having trouble getting back on my feet. My self confidence is at an all time low. I'm 6' 212 pounds and while I've never had them, I've always wanted 6 pack abs. I figure now is the time to do this and it will really help me to get my confidence back, I just need a little boost and some direction. Can you help?
TL;DR: | love of my life cheated, self confidence all time low, want 6 pk abs, need a point in the right direction |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [16/M] Not sure if I made the right choice with my (ex) [16/F]
POST: I asked a good friend of mine out about two months ago. She said yes, and I was really happy. However, she's been insanely busy with end-of-school stuff, and we haven't been able to actually spend time together. School ended a week ago, but she had her sister's graduation party and then she went on vacation (where she is now). I told her it didn't feel like we were dating at all. She said that she felt the same, and that her life gets really busy a lot. I told her I'd like to try again later, when she was free, or accept that it wasn't going to work. We've mutually agreed that we broke up. I feel really bad about it, and I was wondering if you guys think I made the right choice.
TL;DR: | Broke up with my girlfriend of two months (we went out on 4 dates), feel pretty bad, was wondering if I did the right thing or if I should have given it more time. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Fellow healthy eaters and gym rats of Reddit, have you ever been ridiculed by friends or family for healthy lifestyle choices? If so how did you react?
POST: I work at an office where someone is constantly bring in doughnuts or cake and we have pot lucks at least once a month. I always politely turn down the invitation to participate in these events because I bring my own food from home. I brought a veggie tray once and it was almost completely untouched. That's fine with me so I don't bring anything and don't take anything. Since I started doing this several plainly overweight people attack me for my non participation. I have been called "fat obsessed", "fanatical", and been told I need to put some "meat on my bones" (I am 5'9 and a reasonably muscular 167lbs with a touch of mid section fat). Has anyone else ever been in a similar situation? How did you react to it?
TL;DR: | Overweight coworkers make fun of me for living a healthy life in front of them. Has this ever happed to you? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20m] am trying to figure out how to battle through anxiety and freshen up the relationship with my girlfriend [21f]
POST: Hey everyone. I'm 20 years old and have been in a steady relationship with my girlfriend, who is 21, for four years. Things are really good and I feel really happy with her. However, we always do the same stuff, eat at the same places, and spend a lot of time just sitting at home and watching Netflix. We don't have much time to spend together because we both work and go to school, but the time we do spend together I want to spend it on newer things to keep the relationship good.
I guess the problem stems from me being a very anxious and shy person, I can be outgoing when I need to be, but new things make me very nervous. However, every time we do something new I always feel like it's a good experience and helps me break out of my shell. My girlfriend, who is a very outgoing person, loves doing new things but cares about me and understands that sometimes I may not be comfortable doing something outside of my normal routine. I love her for that, but don't want her to restrict herself because of me. So what should I do? I don't want her to feel bored at all in the relationship, but sometimes I'll get bad bouts with anxiety and puts me in a shitty mood all night. I hate being like this! Luckily I have a very understanding girlfriend who cares and tries to help me, but I know it'll only be so long before she can't take it anymore.
I guess the question is, how should I get through my anxiety to keep the relationship healthy and new?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend and I have been together for four years, I have anxiety, want to keep relationship fresh by doing new things |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me (25M) and my ex (25F) don't see eye-to-eye.
POST: To make a long story short, a young lady and I really enjoyed spending together. We eventually entered a relationship. My ex is extremely ambitious, she wants her partner to be ambitious as well. I own a consulting company. It pays for an above average lifestyle. The company has been in operation for 1 year. I started the company right after college. My ex on the other hand worked for 6 years in the wedding planning business , where she made a little bit more than I did. She used to hang it over my head that, she made more than me. Me being competitive, I took it as a challenge and sought to improve my company. However, my ex doesn't realize time and energy are required to grow a business. Accordingly I'd spend long nights in the office making money. When my ex and I first met each other we had sex numerous times a day. After the honeymoon phase, we had sex an average of 2x or 3x a day.
My ex is a bit manipulative, she describes our relationship to anyone that'll listen that I'm not having sex with her at all. I imagine my ex rationalized she'd be justified in cheating on me, if I didn't have sex with her. But as explained above that wasn't the case.
It was a bit emasculating, being with a female that made more than me, especially when she rubbed it in my face. But my ex and I earn toward the top of our age range, but acts like my accomplishments aren't up to par. When I work to get my accomplishments up to "par", she feels neglected and cheats on me.
Now I'm courting a pretty young lady that's happy with what I bring to the table.
TL;DR: | Should I look at beginning a relationship after I'm massively successful? Is it possible to have a dedicated young lady by my side as I climb professionally? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I know if my[26F] Wife is cheating? Iam[28M]
POST: A little back story. Me and my wife started dating in high school. We dated for 5 years then got married about 5 years ago. The marrage has been great for the last 5 years, but lately I have just had this weird gut feeling about the way she has been acting lately.
My wife cheated on me before we got married with a close friend of mine. I forgave her, we worked through it and things have been good.
Over the past couple weeks my wife has been texting, talking on facebook with a guy she meet at a group running event she attented. I found the facebook messages and asked her why she is so obsessed with this guy lately. Her reply was that he is just a friend and I have nothing to worry about. She did ask me if I wanted her to completely cut off contact with this guy. I told her it was not a fair question, because if I answer yes I look like a pathetic jealous husband, if I answer no I would be lying to myself.
I found out she went running with him alone last week as well. She always gives me updates when she is running so I know she is safe. I did not get any updates that night. She said her phone had died thats why she did not send me any updates.
So what do I do here? I really want to trust her and do not want to tell her who she can be friends with, but its really been eating me up inside lately.
TL;DR: | My wife has been texting/fb messaging a guy every day for 3 weeks. Do I have anything to be worried about or am I just being paranoid? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [18M] have a crush on my one of my best friends [18F], need some advice
POST: throwaway because I don't want this on my everyday account.
I have a crush on a girl, one of my best friends since middle school (I think that's what it's called in the US, european here). We both go to the same school and often work together on projects.
I really like her; she's funny, very smart and beautiful. However I'm split. Her former boyfriends haven't lasted long, and she doesn't speak to them anymore. Now, I don't personally know them or why it ended (I don't ask), but I'm afraid that I could lose her as a friend if I ask her and she says yes and things won't work out, or if she says no and things get awkward between us.
TL;DR: | I have a crush on my friend, but I'm afraid of losing her as a friend if I ask her, advice wanted |
SUBREDDIT: r/needadvice
TITLE: I want to drop college, pack up, and pick a direction. Any advice?
POST: I'm currently a sophomore at a small college in the American Midwest. I've been intending to be a music major for quite some time now, but after a few major life events, I'm starting to see less of a point in staying in college.
It's been a dream of mine since early in high school to pack up what I need, pick a direction, and live off of bare essentials. I'd make whatever money I could by playing music on the side of the road, at open mic nights, whatever gig I could find. I'd also bring my DSLR, take pictures, film, just document anything I could and leave whatever creative outlet I have open.
I'm all for giving this lifestyle a shot, and I do have a very solid plan B should this not work the way I want it to (go live with a couple friends, have at least one guaranteed job). However, I'm afraid to follow through because I have a significant amount in scholarships at my school. I'm afraid of making a move that I may later regret, even though I see absolutely no point in having a BA in Music for myself.
Also, the college life hasn't been particularly good to me. The amount of stress I've had has led me to be sent to the hospital before, an experience I never want to live again. I simply don't feel I can keep doing college when I'm not motivated get to the finish line, especially when continuing is bringing me more emotional and spiritual strain.
TL;DR: | I want to drop out of school and play music while living out of my car. If you've done anything like this, tell me what you think I should know please. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [22 M] seeing my ex [22 F] (2yr) to exchange stuff...
POST: Was with this girl during the last two years of college. We lived about an hour and a half away, but we made it work and still saw each other almost weekly. Our first year with the distance was kind of rough, but the second year was going great... until I got super drunk and said some extremely mean things. All of this drama happened and I apologized and we kind of worked it out and we agreed to just not talk about it. Unfortunately, she really wanted to talk about it and it just made her become very bitter towards me for months. I decided to go for something different after college and fell into a bit of a depression because I couldn't find a job and moved far away from all of my friends.
We were fighting for a while and we broke up a few weeks ago. I love this girl more than anything but she feels that she needs to move on (she is pretty much 100% sure she needs this.. maybe 99%).
I know I could move on eventually and be happy, but that is hard when all I want is this person in my life. I'm seeing her this weekend at some point to exchange personal belongings. I want to try to win her back, but I'm not sure if I should or not.
Looking for any kinds of advice. Thanks
TL;DR: | Did medium distance with a girl for two years and we broke up after college. I don't want the relationship to end, but she does. Is there anything I can do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18 F] with my family friend [22 M], how do I get to know him better though we rarely meet?
POST: I've known him and his family for about 6 years but only see him once or twice a year at get-togethers. He lives in a different city for school but when we do meet up, he is really sweet but I'm always too shy to talk. We also have a lot in common (music, movies, we went to the same high school). I know that the age difference is quite large so I think there's never going to be anything romantic between us, but I do want to get to know him better as friends.
Basically, what could I say next time we meet that would help me to get to know him better? Should I add him on Facebook? What could I say to get a conversation going but not sound creepy? I'm really shy so this is really nerve-wracking but I am willing to try stepping out of my comfort-zone.
TL;DR: | I want to get to know a boy (family friend) better although we rarely get to see each other and I need some advice. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I[15M] have just started dating [15F] but I'm really worried.
POST: I have never dated anyone before and basically we went on our first date yesterday and I need some help. It wasn't really awkward or anything that was the problem it is more the fact that I dont really know how to do this stuff.
Like we went to the park near to our school and we saw like people there from our school and it was really annoying because they kept like being annoying to us purposefully when they recognised us. I am just really worried about how people will see us when we go back to school in September (its the summer holidays currently).
I'm really shy and kinda awkward but we both really like eachother and stuff. I have only told two of my friends and I'm really worried about other people knowing. Is it something I should be stressing out about because I just don't feel people really expect me to be in a relationship and its kinda weird to me. I am really insecure and I am always scared about how people see me. I am really not used to this kinda stuff so I really need advice and should I be stressing out about this or not?
TL;DR: | Im going out with a girl who I really like but I'm worried about how people will see us since im really shy and I need some advice/help, thanks :) |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by giving my gf a massage at her grandma's house.
POST: This happened two nights ago. My girlfriend and I were visiting her family and staying the night at her grandmother's house. As we were going to bed, my GF had a muscle spasm in her back so I volunteered to give her a massage. I went into the guest bathroom to look for some lotion and on the counter I saw a bottle that read in large print " Olay Ultra Moisture with Shea Butter," below in a smaller font "Moisture Outlast, Penetrates skin, layer by layer."
Alright, we're in business! I spread some lotion across her back and up my forearms and began to give a legit LMT style deeps tissue massage.
At first, nothing was out of the ordinary, but slowly the lotion became less lubricating. So I added more lotion. Suspecting that the lotion might have been somewhat old, I decided to wet my hands in the bathroom sink and loosen the lotion up a bit. I returned to the massage. As bubbles began to froth on my girlfriend's back, I began to suspect I had made a mistake. Quickly, my eyes darted to the purported "lotion" label, which read in a smaller and heretofore unnoticed text, "Body Wash."
I informed my beloved of my mistake and after we laughed our asses off, we decided the only thing to do was for her to shower and wash the thick layer of soap off. Unfortunately, the guest shower was acting up and therefore temperature control was non-existent. No matter which way the knob turned, the water came out scalding hot. I resorted to plunging my hand into the hot water, allowing it to cool a bit, and scooping it onto her back. The hot water and the laughter slowed the process down a bit, but eventually she was soap-free and the proud owner of the cleanest and most well-moisturized back for miles around.
TL;DR: | I mistook moisturizing body wash for massage lotion and soaped my gf's back to high hell, then had to deal with a broken and scalding hot shower while helping rinse her off. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (16F) ex is the girl of my (15M) dreams and doesn't know that I want her back
POST: I run around and jump from chick to chick (sexually, not actual sex thou) and I haven't had a serious relationship since April, I'm starting to want one again with the same girl considering I know we both are into each other, but I don't know how to approach her about it.
I have trust issues with her sometimes. She's said that I did nothing wrong to make her want to break up with me and I just don't believe her. I want round 2 to be able to prove that I can be good boyfriend.
The only problem is most girls that go to my school know about me. I'm not a bad person, or an ugly one (so I've been told) but I have a very bad habit of cheating on a girl if we get in a fight. Granted I didn't cheat on her, and we fought a few times. But I feel like my trust is going to have to be earned back over time but I want her back soon is the problem.
TL;DR: | I want to get back with ex, we feel the same, but I don't know if she'll want to, or even if she trusts me |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My ex-boyfriend Levi [19M] and I [18F] were so close to rekindling our relationship but his mother passed away and he goes completely ghost. What should I do?
POST: I'm so sorry this is a little lengthy. Levi and I were dating for about a year. He loved me to the point where he kept bringing up marriage. We had plans for the future. I broke up with him because he gave me the cold shoulder one night via phone (long distance relationship btw) and he didn't call me for about a whole week and a half. I broke up with him and we cut ties with each other. That left me heart broken for awhile.
Fast forward to 8 months later he calls me out of the blue and he said he wanted to get back together with me. Levi told me he cried the day I broke up with him. I hated how he waited so long to apologize and he even asked to get back together with me. He even confessed that he got into 2 relationships with 2 other girls to get over me. It made me mad at first but I got over it. He said he even kept dreaming of me. I forgave him because I loved him. From then on out we've been talking, having fun like old times.
Flash forward to 2 months and I go on my fb newsfeed to find out that his mom passed away. His mom lives in another state from where he lives so he seldom has the chance to see her. I never found out how she passed away. He cut off all contact even when I sent him a lengthy message reassuring him that I'm always here for him and that he has my utmost support. I've been asking his friends if he's said anything to them and most of them said he barely even talks to them anymore. I know he's deeply hurt by her passing. It's been 7 months now and I never got a phone call or a message from him. I love him but I'm slowly beginning to move on. What should I do? What if he comes back and wants to be together again?
TL;DR: | Nearly rekindled relationship with ex boyfriend but his mother suddenly passes away. He barely talks to me anymore. Should I just simply move on? What if he comes back to be together again? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25 F] with my BF [26 M] 10 months, he's moving out to be closer to work. am i overreacting?
POST: my bf and i have been dating since april last year and we moved in together quite soon after that (july) - we signed a 6month lease agreement because i own a property and it's lease agreement was ending in november last year. the idea was to move into my property once the 6 month lease was over.
so as of this year we have been living in my property. the costs of living were broken down as follows: i pay 100% of the mortgage, and we were going to pay 50% of the utilities bills until he got a job, then he was going to 100% of the utilities.
however .. last week he told me he was starting a new job, and the suburb that it was in was about 40 mins without traffic one way from where we live. he told me it would be easier for him to move back home and live for the duration of the job (9 months), to save money, petrol , food etc just day to day expenses in general .
i guess my first reaction was trying to be supportive. he explained to me that his first and foremost priority was to save up enough money to buy a car this year, and living so far from work was going to hinder him from doing so in this timeframe. i have tried to rationalise my emotions against him leaving. i.e. he only lives 40 minutes away, its not like it's long distance & we will see each other on the weekend.
i guess my main gripe is i'll be wearing my mortgage and bills, living in an apartment by myself after making a commitment that he's just walked out of because it's not convenient for him. am i wrong for feeling this way or am i being a major pushover? someone knock some sense into me.
TL;DR: | bf of 10 months is moving back home to be closer to work due to convenience. i feel like i should be supporting him but also can't help feeling abandoned. help? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: I don't know what to do...
POST: So a lot of weird stuff has happened to me the last few days. Okay, first of all, my brother was dating someone and they were getting along really well. But then she broke up with him, and told him she was a lesbian all a sudden. We were talking about it, and he said he didn't take it too hard, but one thing was really bothering him; he told me that she was trying to get him to "become" gay. I guess that was the other half of the break-up. Anyway, fast-forward a few weeks. Me, my bro, my cousin, and his friend were driving home from Providence. On the way home, we passed by my bro's ex's house, and we got to talking. Well, actually *they* got to talking. I was chilling listening to this conversation; "She has something wrong with her.", "She is a walking sin, it is against the bible to be gay", "She think it's cool to be gay", "She is a fucking faggot.", "If you're gay, there is a screw loose in you.", I bet you can guess where this is going. One thing they mentioned is that she is only 15, and it's just a phase. Now here is my problem; I'm only 14. I've lied about my age on Reddit already, but I have to tell the truth here. **I'm having gay feelings, and I want to come out.** Except, my family are strict Catholics, my cousins clearly won't be supportive, my friends are extremely un-supportive of gays also, basically shunning the few people that have come out at my school, and to top it all off, I find more than a few my friends attractive. I don't know if this really *is* a phase, if I'm actually gay, and if I should come out. I can't get any help from anybody I know. Maybe Reddit can help.
TL;DR: | I'm think I'm gay, but I'm not entirely sure (supposedly "just a phase"). I'm afraid of coming out because of obvious reasons: rejection, neglect, etc. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Soldiers of Reddit: Is this a bad idea? Will I make my SO jealous?
POST: I'm an Army fiancé getting ready to send some care packages to my SO overseas. It's Christmastime, of course, and I love giving gifts. Unfortunately, I don't have much money to spare to sharing the love, so I decided to give to others who might not have a good Christmas, rather than give expensive gifts to my family members.
So, I'm wrapping up little things that soldiers might appreciate: super balls, Hot Wheels cars, firsbees, little styrofoam airplanes, etc. Except, the more I wrap, the more dread I feel in the pit of my stomach that I'm going to make my SO jealous. I'm giving him something, too, but I imagine him thinking that I'm giving more attention to soldiers I don't know. To top it off, he's low ranking, and is having problems with his buddies treating him badly, which means giving them little gifts from his girl might make him feel worse.
Make no mistake, I'm not ignoring his Christmas needs. My parents are sending lots of gifts that I helped them pick out, and I'm sending the typical care package comforts (including a pre-lit mini tree and seasonal om noms). For my one Christmas present to him, I'm making a sexy video that he'll love. Still, I'm worried about this one thing overpowering him and ruining the spirit of Christmas.
TL;DR: | I'm sending little toys to Iraq via my SO so he can hand them out his buddies. Will this make him, as a soldier, jealous? Will the other soldiers appreciate what I'm doing? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I had an interesting encounter today while at work, Reddit. Please help me decipher it.
POST: I work as a bartender at a BBQ restaurant located on mall property. Today had been going by normally, albeit somewhat slow, until around 2PM.
I had only two customers and the restaurant was not all that full either. I was cleaning around the bar when this woman walks up to me. She looked to be mid to late forties and semi-haggard. She announces, quite loudly, that she is "suing every bartender in the world!" After her announcement, she threw a greeting card envelope at me. My only response was "OKAY" and "have a nice day."
I asked my manager if I could open it, but he threw it in the trash for fear of some kind of terrorist type devices (e.g. anthrax). I couldn't let that be the end of it and told them that I will take all liability for opening it. I did. Nothing seems dangerous, but it does contain some of the craziest shit I've seen outside of [Dr. White Goldfish king]{
So I have uploaded all that was included inside the envelope. It is mostly ramblings with some of it legible and possibly corresponds to the page from this novel [Out of Captivity](
Please help me decipher what this all could mean and has to do with "suing all the bartenders in the world!"
[Album link on Imgur] Note: the pictures are roughly 1MB each.
TL;DR: | Crazy woman comes in to bar and shouts, "I am suing every bartender in the world!" Throws greeting card with ramblings at me and walks out. WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN!? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19F] with my "new flame" [20M], he seems like the player type?
POST: I met this guy a few months back and lately he's been giving me a lot of extra attention. He has a bad history of flirting with girls behind his girlfriend's back, breaking up with her to hook up with other girls then begging her to take him back. I've explained to him that I know about this and that i don't trust him whatsoever, but that I'd give him the chance to earn my trust. He has talked to me about personal things and has even told me about his more recent 'encounters' with females, which shows me that he's not afraid to be honest with me, so I'll give him that.
Well, a few days ago he picked me up so we could carpool to an event, and he grabbed my face at a stoplight and kissed me. Granted, I didn't pull away from him, it was still really shocking. We didn't talk about it for the rest of the night, until he called me and was insistent about talking about the kiss. He told me I "intimidate him" and he "expected the kiss to feel wrong, but it felt right.". (The kiss did feel really good, or it could've been because I had just put on chap stick and his lips were really soft.)
I'm still wondering if he's just spoon feeding me bullshit (this is where the trust issues come into play).
Here's where it gets really interesting, though. He told me "I'm not going to lie to you, I do want to fuck you. But I also want to know all of you. And if it turns into a relationship, that's a bonus." But I told him I hadn't even thought about that, because I didn't want to have any expectations because expectations lead to disappointment, and that kind of shut him down a little bit.
So tell me, r/relationships, am I being spoon fed bullshit? Should I shut this whole thing down and just say forget it?
TL;DR: | Guy claims he likes me, has a reputation of playing girls. I told him it wouldn't be easy with me, but surprisingly he's still trying |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20F] broke up with my first love 8 months ago, sort of over him but don't want to kiss anybody new
POST: Fell in love for the first time last year, unfortunately broke it off because he had doubts about how he felt. Had a really long and painful break up for both of us since we live in close proximity and have a lot of mutual friends.
We've hooked up a couple times about 2/3 months after we broke up, but that also ended (about 2 months ago). I thought I was over him but I still have feelings for him and find it really difficult to be just friends with him; he has hooked up with new people and I feel like I also just need to see someone else will like me in order to get over him. However, I really really don't want to kiss/be with anybody else but him.
Sorry it sounds kind of stupid like that, Why would I do something I clearly don't want to, but I guess I just want to move on (but am not over him). Any advice or words of wisdom?
TL;DR: | Fell in love for the first time, had a really tough time with the break up, afraid that I'm not open to meeting new people even though I want to, don't want to kiss/be with any new guys |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: How should I confront the problem?
POST: I've been dating a girl for about 8 months (college) who before me dating a guy for about 3 years. Her ex loathes me (but has never talked to me directly) ever since we started dating. I'm a really laid back person and hate confrontation but about 3 months into the relationship, I confronted her about never completely dropping her ex (small texts, but were always short replies after he would send multiple texts saying that he still wants to work things out etc etc but she would always reply no). She explained how she had aborted his baby in high school from not being safe and that he brought it up so wanted to make sure he was okay. But otherwise, has completely cut communication with him.
HOWEVER, I have recently found out that she has changed his name in her phone (I'm not the type of person to check through someone's messages) and they still text each other. (she works throughout the day so I'm clueless if they text a lot), but I do see his "alias name" pop up sometimes when we're together and she just says its no one. How should I confront it? From our previous argument she had promised me that there is nothing between them (had a nasty breakup) and that if she did want him back he would take her in a heartbeat, so it is nothing that I should be concerned about. I already have trust issues from previous relationships and have told myself I shouldn't play it nice anymore and should speak up.. but I'm too damn nice and always get walked on :C haha.
sorry for the long wall of words, but I don't really have anyone that close that I feel comfortable to vent with/ ask.
TL;DR: | How to I grow a pair and confront the issue of my girlfriend not completely dropping her ex/ hiding him from me? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Girlfriend [20] and I [24] due to problems of being different faiths are taking a break from talking for 10 days, but I feel like 10 days from now our relationship is going to feel different, awkward, and possibly over.
POST: Me [24] and my girlfriend [20] have been going out for 5 months now. We are both different religions, she is Christian and I am a Muslim. Recently she bought a Quran and another book to try to understand my religion better. I was so happy she was becoming interested in my faith. Then she brings up a conversation saying I haven't been doing enough to learn more about her faith. However, I felt like I've been doing a lot and I told her that I have been doing a lot, but she thinks what I've done thus far is trivial and we got into a small argument about it. We started talking about how our different faiths are going to play out in a future marriage and then I felt like I just needed to refocus on things and so I told her I didn't want to talk for a few days because I really needed to get my head right, but now it feels like a terrible mistake because now she said she wants to take a 10 day vacation from talking and that she returned the books and got leisurely ones instead. So here we are, a day into not talking for 10 days. I miss her more than anything and I feel like things are going to feel much different in 10 days and that scares me because I really love the connection we have.
TL;DR: | Differences of faith have caused us to question our future and take a break from talking and I feel like this 10 day break might be the end of our beautiful relationship.... Please help |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I [23 F] tell my clingy, manipulative friend [32 M] tthat I don't want to be friends? He won't stop calling me.
POST: Long story short, I've tried to break things off with this person before by ignoring him and he does this everytime - he calls or texts me every single day at least once or twice a day until I respond (which I haven't so far, for two weeks, so you'd think he'd get the hint). I blocked his number in the past on my old google voice account, but we ran into each other at a mutual friend's house and I gave him my new number because he asked for it in front of everyone and I didn't want to cause a scene.
He's very friendly and engaging and makes you feel like you are genuinely friends and that he's a good time, but he's a bum, he has no job and he's mooching off of his ex gf's life by living in her apartment and eating her food. I made the mistake of asking him to hangout one weekend and we went to a bar, not until we get to the bar does he tell me he has no job and therefore no money to buy himself drinks, so of course I buy him drinks all night and he gets drunk and confirms to me that he learned to manipulate people very young (by telling me a story of how he talks about videogames that people aren't interested in non-stop because he knows they have to be polite and listen. He has done this to me before, almost every time I see him he rambles non-stop about some stupid videogame that I have no interest in).
So, my suspicions confirmed, I've cut all contact with him, but I have no way to block his number and he won't stop calling me. Every single day.
TL;DR: | title says it all, really. He won't stop calling me even though I ignore him and I can't block his number on my new phone. How do I tell him to fuck off in the most creative way possible? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: any elementary or elementary special ed teachers out there? I need advice.
POST: Hi all, I'm feeling so conflicted right now and I need some non-biased opinions.
I'm an undergrad Child and Adolescent Development student. I have about a year to decide on which credential program to apply to, but all of a sudden my options have opened and I'm feeling at a crossroads. My entire plan has been to go into Special Ed for several reasons, but I've recently been required to work in a typical Kindergarten class. The minute I walked into the class I felt completely at home.I could feel the kids looking up to me, interested and creative and ready to learn- I feel like I could offer them so much of myself. I'm a young, outgoing female ready to teach, but now I'm not completely sure where my heart lies. I feel like Kindergarten is so completely up my alley and I'd have so much to give, but at the same time I am very compassionate about working with kids with special needs. I feel a little guilty betraying my past passion ( special ed), and also those who completely supported me. (My dad has been very supportive because my sister has Cerebral Palsy and she's the main reason I feel like I could make a change in Special Education) I know I just need to give it time and see what comes my way ( I believe in fate), but I could really just use some words of wisdom right now.
Thank YOU!
TL;DR: | female student who was completely sure about going into Special Ed, but now with experience in kindergarten classes feeling like its a better suit for me. Conflicted. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (20m) am having trouble with my sex drive with my (19f) gf of 1year
POST: Some backstory - I have been with her for a year now and we visot each other once or twice a month fpr a week pr two at a time as we are in an LDR .
The first 8 or so months of our relationship we had sex pretty much every day if not every other day we would visit eachother. Around that 8month mark i noticed i started having trouble with stayinh erect or even being ready for sex. And most times we visited each other after that, we barely had sex as both our sex drives decreased. We had sex the first day of a visit and it was really good and lasted a while. I started to notice that if i go a few days without sex or masturbating i was able to be harder and last somewhat longer and really enjoy reaching climax. So i guess part of me just didnt initiate sex on her for a few days and then those days would turn to weeks. And before long the week had ended.
It got to a point where at the end of each visit we both realise that we haven't actually had sex anyrime during the visit.
Ive tried to stop masturbating as much as i do and maybe that has effected my sex drive also.
I love this girl so much and i am attracted to her but I feel i am the one causing all the sexual problems in the relationship. Part of me feels i have an erectile dysfunction too as previously ive had trouble staying hard.
TL;DR: | i have recently had a low sex drive with my gf who i love and am attracted to. Cant find the cause of it. And its starting to grind on us both. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [28 M] with my girlfriend [23 F] of 1.25 years, I can't stop worrying about what might happen when her graduate school situation unfolds
POST: She is currently in the preparation stages, but will start submitting applications in the coming months, with all of them due by December 1. It won't be until February or so of next year that she'll start to receive word back from them, and then it's likely she'll do visits/interviews before she decides where to go. We've discussed it and I told her that I'd be willing to move with her so long as it's someplace where I can find a job and continue to build my career (IT), as it's PhD level and the programs typically last 5-6 years. She is accepting of that.
In the meanwhile, this produces a lot of anxiety for me (and it seems to for her, as well - we're both scared). We have a great relationship; it's not perfect, but it's damn close. However, if ultimately the best option for her is to attend a school in a small college town or, worse, a depressed/dying city (there are some of those on the list), I don't think that I could justify following her to such a place - for my own career fulfillment and general happiness. We have a lease together now and are looking at renewing it for 6 more months in January, leading up to her departure. I wonder if spending more time together in a relationship with her is ultimately detrimental for both of us if the likelihood that she lands somewhere that's a good fit for both of us is low.
How should I be looking at this? What are the important questions that I need to answer for myself? Can anyone who has been through a similar situation provide some insight?
TL;DR: | GF going to be leaving for graduate school in about a year, I'm not sure if I'll follow, do we stay together in the meanwhile? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [28 M] with my GF [28F] of 7 months Why would she cheat
POST: Me and my GF hit a bump in the road after 6 months together.
A "mate" of mine has been messaging her on facebook a lot. i'd guess around a hundred messages a day. she tells me nothing to worry about, that he's unattractive, a layabout (not had a job in over a year)
So i trust her. despite the sex coming to an end and all the affectionate things we used to say to each other stopping i trusted her. This morning i had enough. looked at her messages and sure enough she's going to see him while i'min work. I was devastated so i told her it feels like she's hiding something from me and that i'd rather her break up with me than cheat on me. i laid it on thick expecting this to be our last conversation which obviously upset me so i was speaking through a couple of tears. but her response was crazy she laid me down on the bed and told me i never need to worry that i'm all she ever wants and she'll always love me and never wants to lose me.
Why? why would she say that when she has plans to meet this fuck up i know.
how can you cheat on someone you love?
i pussied out though guys i think i'm going to end it after work though even though she left for work this morning she's sent me more affectionate texts in the last hour than she has the last 2-3 weeks
TL;DR: | If she does love me why would she cheat on me? if she doesn't love me why are we still together. what is she doing? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [23M] just stopped my FWB relationship with [24F] due to personal confliction, but I still feel guilty.
POST: I should preface this by saying I'm still pretty new at this whole "women" thing (lost my virginity over new years).
For the last month or so I've been in a FWB situation with a girl I met through work. The catch? She's a student of mine. We pretty much started hooking up within a week after she started her [redacted] education with me, and we've been going ever since.
We got along pretty well (she thinks we got along fantastically), but I struggled the entire time with the instructor-student relationship. I tend to have a fairly strong sense of professionalism, and our hookups played havok with that. There was always a small voice in the back of my head asking why I continued to do this when in my gut I knew it was wrong.
Anyway, tonight I called it off. She won't admit it, but she's really *really* into me and *has* admitted that she'll not stop sleeping with me if I keep approaching her. I've told her we'll both have to practice restraint because I can't keep this thing on my conscience any longer. It doesn't feel right to me, and still doesn't.
I have no idea how this will effect our classroom time. They're one-on-one sessions, and I tend to draw a lot of my interaction technique from the students' cues. The only cue she ever gives off is "flirt" or "charm." There is no OFF switch.
Have any other teachers had things with their students and had that little voice in the back of their head going off the whole time? If so, how did you deal with it?
Also, I'm definitely not as much into her as she is into me. Part of it is the physical attraction, part of it is that she's just too intense for my taste.
TL;DR: | Called off a FWB thing with a student of mine out of professionalism, she says she'll be "fine" but I feel guilty because, well, it sorta felt like a breakup on Valentine's day. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Would it be acceptable to ask a girl out for a drink in this situation?
POST: I'll try to keep this as simple as possible. Basically there is a girl at work that I am attracted to. We work different hours, so we have different break and lunch times. I haven't talked to her nor do I have a chance to talk to her, all I know is that I am interested in her. My question is would it be acceptable to ask her out for a drink or anything even though we have never spoken to each other? If so, should I just catch her when I get a chance and just come out with the question? Just to clear things up, we work in different groups, so yes we work at the same company but our jobs don't mix.
TL;DR: | Girl at work I like, don't really have a chance to talk, would it be acceptable to ask her out for a drink still? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by wearing the wrong teeshirt, at the wrong time.
POST: So in 2002 I visited NYC for the first time (I'm from Europe for some context).
The day after I arrived by brother was working so I went to spend the day in Manhattan.
One of the things that I wanted to see was Ground Zero and I go and spend time there. And it was as powerful as I believed that it was going to be.
But some people were looking at me strange. I just thought that it was the famous New Yorker weirdness and ignored it.
So after an hour or so of walking around I decide to head off to see more of the city.
I was passing a shop (that's store for Americans) of some sort I catch sight of the tee shirt i'm warring.
It has "Missing" in very large letters across the top and the head shots of three people.
When I had gotten up that morning I had put on a Blare Witch Project teeshirt without realising what it might mean.
I felt like such a stupid dick.
TL;DR: | TIFU by waring a Blare Witch Project "Missing" teeshirt when I went to see Ground Zero in 2002. |
SUBREDDIT: r/BreakUps
TITLE: I still love her. (moved from /r/relationships)
POST: I'm an 18 year old guy, she's an 18 year old girl. She we dated for a solid year and a half, before she broke up with me for "thinking I (me) wasn't interested anymore". I still have feelings for her. Don't worry, I'm not some crazy ex who texts her constantly - she talks to me willingly. I still see her about twice a week, sometimes 3, and she'll talk to me and approach me. She's dated one guy between our breakup and that didn't last long. Immediately after the breakup, I asked if we had a chance, she said probably not. I respect that.
But... lately, as I said, she talks to me willingly. She's not the ex who just wants nothing to do with me. I'm hoping to give it time, and maybe, in a few months or something, ask if anything's changed. Mind you, this girl is perfect. She's beautiful, she does the same sports as me, is intelligent, you get it. We truly had feelings, and I don't know why she let it go so fast.
I've tried to be with other girls but she's always at the back of my mind.
I just want hope. Any help on how I can maybe get her to be interested again? I don't want to sound like a creepy ex, because I assure you I'm not. Strategies on how to go about this?
TL;DR: | My ex and I have been broken up for a while, we had real feelings, I want to get back somehow but I don't know how. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [30M] with my wife [30F] should I tell her about meeting an online friend?
POST: My wife and I have been together 7 years (married for 3). About 5 years ago we had a rough patch where we split up for just over a month. During that time I met a woman online and we had an instant connection. It may have been because we had both just broken up with our SOs but nevertheless we began chatting constantly. In the beginning there was some sexual talk but that died down quickly and we began talking as friends.
When my wife and I got back together I told her I had begun chatting with this woman while we were separated. I didn't really expect to keep talking to this person but we just happened to form a good friendship so I wanted my wife to know that I wasn't romantically involved with this person. I never did tell my wife that we had some sexual conversation in the beginning because I think that was a fluke from us being lonely and being fresh out of relationships. My wife wasn't very happy to learn I was talking to another woman but I assured her it was just friendship, let her read our texts whenever she wanted to, so that made her feel better about it.
It's been 5 years and we've not had any kind of flirty sexual talk since the very beginning. We chat every few days for a short period of time just about everyday stuff. She recently told me she will be in my area for a work function in a couple weeks. I think it would be cool to meet after all these years but I'm sure my wife wouldn't like it. She is insecure about this kind of thing and I know if I told her I want to meet this person it would upset her. I feel like I should be able to meet up with my friend though. It would be for a couple hours before the work function. I don't want to tell my wife but would that be wrong?
TL;DR: | I want to meet up with a long time online friend and don't want to tell my wife because she won't like it because it is a woman. |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: I'm beginning to feel like I need a relationship to be happy. And I hate it.
POST: This is something that's been bothering the hell out of me for awhile now.
I think I'm turning into one of those girls who feel like they need to be in a relationship to be happy. And the ironic thing is that I've only been in one real and what I count as serious relationship since I high school (im twenty now) that only lasted six months and happened a year ago.
It's just, I feel like I am so happy with everything else in my life. I have a great family life, I make great grades studying something I enjoy, I have a job in said field I'm studying in that's lucrative despite the fact that people say my major will never make any real money. I consider myself an introvert, but I've got a couple real close friends and acquaintances I hang out with.
But for the life of me, relationships never work the way I want them to.
And I know that's stupid and irrational to say, I don't have supreme overlord abilities to control the universe, but is it too much to ask for things to fucking work out when I like someone? Instead of, every time, some ridiculous aspect that makes things complicated? Can I not receive the attention and effort I put into someone back for once?
I know you've got to be patient and give it time and that there's literally no way to rush these kinds of things, but damn.
And I hate it. I don't want to be that chick who needs this perfect relationship to complete her, because that's crazy unrealistic, but I don't know how to stop.
Advice Appreciated.
TL;DR: | It never seems to work out with guys I like, I'm so happy with everything in my life but can't manage to be happy with my love life at all. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU: Boss didn't understand reddit and I got "fired"
POST: So I had a required internship for my college major. It required 240 hours, which I finished last week, but I stayed on to finish several projects. My original end date was supposed to be next Friday. Well, today my boss surprised me and said I would have my final evaluation and I would be done. During the eval, he mentioned how I didn't have the required integrity for his department. I flinched and wondered what I did wrong. He pulls up my reddit page, massive red flag, and reads off a post from /r/circlejerk. A post I made about him, outside the office. He was pissed. I explained that it was supposed to be a joke and apologized that he didn't interpret it that way. "I know it wasn't a joke so just stop." was his only reply. Then he told me I wasn't mature enough to work in this industry and I needed to shape up or I'd never make it.
TL;DR: | Boss somehow found my reddit page, thought /r/circlejerk was serious business, dismissed me from my internship. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22M] and my ex-girlfriend [20F] struggling to decide if I should try to reconnect
POST: We was together for nearly 6 years she was and still is the love of my life. I was just bad at showing my love/attention. It's 99% my fault we split I know that. I needed/need to show her more love, as we were she didn't even know if I loved her or not. Wasn't good.
The last few months of our relationship she started talking a lot to one guy, he was there for her when I wasn't she had someone to speak to... Which SHOULD have been me, but I was useless like that.
When we split she didn't go straight to him, but I knew it'd happen. We stayed very close. Going for meals sometimes and always chatting. She told me the other day that she has started seeing him. She said she likes him a lot but it's not the same as when she was with me. When she first met me she knew she loved me and she still does. She still wants to be with me.
She keeps telling me she has no idea what to do. I think I've changed. I KNOW I can change for her, it just took me way too long to say it.
I honestly don't know what I should do.. Should I let her carry on with this guy? Who does show her attention, does show her love.. makes her happy.. all the things I haven't for so long. Or do I try to get another chance and potentially screw it up.. That way I would have screwed her up even more and her chances with this other guy would have vanished.
I've told her I have no hard feelings for her getting together with this guy. I 1000% understand why she has, I wasn't a good boyfriend towards the end. He was there and he was showing her love/affection. She keeps saying she does feel bad for being with him though.
One thing she said the other day to me about him. He asked her why she was looking at him like she was and apparently she was just zoned out thinking at what she was doing with him and why she wasn't with me.
TL;DR: | Not sure if I will just screw her up more.. should I let her try to work it out with the other guy? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18 M] with my girlfriend [17 F] 13m, broke up, now I feel empty and don't enjoy anything
POST: She broke up with me two days ago. I had invested a lot of time into her and into keeping a long term relationship with her. She said her reasoning was because she constantly felt inadequate in our relationship because she would compare herself to me and I'm a high achiever academically. However, there was more to it than that.
She didn't tell me, but I found out through other sources about her cheating on me some time before. She began hanging out with another guy more. My friends saw sexually explicit texts between them. The Sunday before she broke up with me she was turning her phone away from me whenever I came by and was texting constantly. I confronted her about it and she asked if I was accusing her of cheating. Then went on about how we didn't work together in our relationship (never said anything like this before). The next day she ignored me all day. She then broke up with me the day after that (Tuesday).
Now, I just feel empty. I truly loved and cared about her. Nothing brings me joy anymore. My hobbies have lost their attractiveness. I either sleep for a super long time (>10hrs) or very little (<5hrs). I'm tired constantly and I've lost my appetite. I don't know what to do to fix this. Everything is just dim. What can I do?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend dumped me. found out she cheated on me. I cared about her, now everything has lost its appeal. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Critical [28 M] hurting my [22 F] fiancee of 1 year
POST: I'm overly critical and I know that. What makes it hard for me to stop is that I don't perceive any progress otherwise. Right now I feel like the relationship is falling apart. She will admit most of it is due to her being unable to take care of herself or live up to the promises she made at the beginning. That being said, I know my criticism is just making things worse, but on the other hand what do you do when your only other options are to leave the person or basically let them run you into the ground? It's not as if I am constantly saying "You're an idiot!" or things like that. What I do is try to logically point out why what she is trying to do isn't working, and explain how what she does affects me negatively. It sounds fairly benign, but I'm pretty wordy and my words tend to be harsh.
I feel like I'm in an impossible situation. It's like a person asking me to help them get in shape, but they don't want to be pressured to work out and they don't do it enough on their own to see results. I don't want to leave her if I don't have to, because she's special in so many other ways, but what's the best course of action to encourage growth without being overbearing and overly critical?
TL;DR: | How do I stimulate growth in someone who hasn't made much progress in the last year of our romance, but without being too critical or pointing out her flaws daily? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Why is it wrong to associate happiness with a good relationship? My boyfriend (25M) and I (25F) are constantly scolded by some friends.
POST: I've already asked this in another sub, but I guess /r/relationships is the better choice.
You know, every time someone says "I had a bad gf and was sad, now I found the love of my life and am happy", somebody likes to point out that your happiness shouldn't depend on relationships. Of course it's important to love yourself, have hobbies and don't build your wall of confidence with bricks of compliments.
But what if being extremely close with one person is a life goal in itself? Why should it be bad to gain one huge portion of happiness out of intimacy?
There seems to be a stigma around intimate, fulfilling love.
I don't only ask because of some reddit comments, but also because our roommates complain about the "perfection" of our relationship and that it's unhealthy. I actually think they're just envious because they never had good relationships, just falling for one bad guy after another. They didn't experience the "couple stuff" they're complaining about, but maybe they see something that we don't see?
My boyfriend and I each have our own life, own hobbies... we just get along like true bros and lovers. Why shouldn't we build dependence on each other to a degree? Cooking for each other, sleeping together, going out a lot (60% of the time just the two of us, the rest without each other, but with friends or alone), going to the gym together, talking, hanging, planning the future, having insiders...
True friendship isn't that much different, but I don't hear anyone complain about that one. Btw, we don't even kiss, cuddle or flirt in front of them.
What do you think?
Is it necessary to keep yourself from being 100% close to someone? I don't really see the problem, but I also don't know what to say to stop getting shit by our roommates.
TL;DR: | Female roommates are complaining about our "happy couple stuff" and we're not even that kind of lovey-dovey people. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 M] with my sister's BFF [17 F] nothing yet, just friends, but fear there might be?
POST: So my sister's friend spends a lot of time here, they've been friends since elementary so i've seen her grow up over the years. Despite that I don't see her as a little sister, and I have always admired her, she's incredibley smart and funny.
Lately we have been texting and b.s.-ing and all that. When she comes over we tease each other, and there are few specific things that make me think there might be something there.
First off I came out of the room from lifting weights and she was here and told my sis that I look good lol. So there is a physical attraction if nothing else. Another occasion she was over and asked me to massage her shoulders, and always asks me for help with her hw even though she really doesn't need it. She will go out of her way to lean her head on my arm, and one time I was peeking my head out the door and she was trying to get in acting all tough and we came really close and I swear we were about 3 seconds away from kissing.
The other day I had a dream I kissed her and when I woke up I started to see everything in a whole new light. She called me and asked me to go to the movies with her. I said I'd thinka bout it to which she said "no, say yes" so I did. So if we do end up going and we are sitting there in the dark faces inches from each other, I don't think I can promise that I wont kiss her. She is very cute.
Of course the problem is my sister, I wouldn't want to ruin their friendship but to me it seems like her friend pushes for it to happen, unless I am just seeing things.
TL;DR: | Sisters friends and I have a weird lusting tension that I may act on if we go to the movies. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/weddingplanning
TITLE: MOH Here - Dealing with difficult bridesmaids. Help!
POST: So let me start off by saying that I am maid of honor for two weddings this year, one in summer and one in fall, and it's certainly providing a lot of emotional and financial stress, but both brides are my closest friends from elementary and high school respectively, so I'm trying my hardest to make this work.
Bride #2 is my best friend from high school. She doesn't have too many girlfriends so when choosing her bridesmaids she included myself and our other friend from highschool, as well as her future sister in laws. I should note that some are related to her fiancée and some are not (by marriage or longtime SO of siblings). The bride, "Tina", has known these women for less than 2 years and is not really thrilled with having them involved, primarily because they are complaining about everything from where we're having the shower to the fabric of the bridesmaid dresses. They're being rather impossible.
The situation didn't get really bad until Tina's mom asked us for $200 each for the shower. I will add that we are all gainfully employed and none of us are paying for hair or makeup for the ceremony. Also, Tina's mom is on her own. I brought the price up to the girls and they expressed concerns with the price. I said I would speak to the MOB but before I had a chance, they went to the bride and MOG to complain about the money. This caused a great amount of stress for the bride who has no input on the shower. Not to mention now the MOG is not helping by bringing it up to the bride. This should have been a discussion between the mothers and bridesmaids only. Now that I've expressed (respectfully) my dissatisfaction with their behavior, I sense there is bad blood and now I feel nothing but guilty for potentially making things worse. Any suggestions to rectify the situation and make this a more enjoyable experience?
TL;DR: | bridesmaids bypass me with money concerns about the shower and go directly to bride. They have the mother of the groom to back them up. How do I make this better |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (23f) accused my boyfriend (24) of cheating and now he thinks I'm the one being unfaithful.
POST: So I've been dating my boyfriend for two months. I know, not a long time. But we had an instant connection. I never felt like this about anyone before, even an ex boyfriend I previously dated for two years. He's beautiful, smart, funny, every quality I could ever ask for. This is the only fight we've ever had, and of course it's bound to happen, but other than this, we always have an amazing time together. I know he is the one for me, and I really don't care how ridiculous that sounds. When you know, you know. Today he came over, and I was just joking around and told him that I know he is still using that dating website (just to see what he would say) and I KNOW I was in the fucking wrong here. It was immature, and stupid, and I can't even begin to tell you guys how much I regret saying this. I didn't suspect him of really using it, like I said, I really just wanted to hear what he was going to say. Well, this completely blew over out of proportion. He said that I only said it because I was in the fault and I am the one who is going behind his back. He said some things and stormed off and I feel completely numb. I feel like a part of my heart just broke and a little bit of my soul left my body. This is how deep I feel for this man. It's scary, and weird, but that's just another story I don't want to get into. And I don't need to get into it. I need to ignore society's norms and allow myself to just let my feelings be. I don't know what to do. He doesn't believe me when I tell him I've been 100% committed and he said we rushed into things too fast and we need a break. But I don't want a break. I want to see him tomorrow, and the next day, and the day after that. This doesn't sit well with me, I feel like I need my person. I don't know what I can do. Is there any way to fix the damage I brought to the table?
TL;DR: | jokingly accused my boyfriend of cheating, he thinks I did that because I'm cheating on him. I'm not. He wants to "take a break," I don't. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What is your biggest I should have said something else moment?
POST: Mine was a few days ago when I had to pull an all-nighter to get some work done for class, so to prepare I picked up a large pizza to snack on through the night. And you know what, I'm going to shamelessly blame lack of sleep as to why I didn't say this, because I am usually very witty. It was about 9:45 the morning I'm walking to my class and taking my pizza box to the garbage so it doesn't stink up my room. While I'm walking down the hall I see two girls approaching from the other direction, as I walk by the cute one says to me, "Is that pizza for us?" And I just smile and kinda nod as I walk by.
If only something popped into my head to say then. But, hey, now its 4:00 a.m. and I can't sleep so might as well think about all the stuff I could have said, right? And maybe metaphorically (or possibly even literally, we will see where the night takes us) kick myself for not coming up with some witty lines sooner.
I really wish I said, "Nah, you don't want this old pizza, how about I buy you a fresh one sometime?" That sure would have been smooth. Maybe I'm just incapable of smooth (although I sure do have witty retorts down well.) Maybe I could have throw in a, "Stop by room 308 sometime and I'll give you a hot sausage... pizza." Girls like stuff like that right?
Haha maybe if I said that I would be awake at 4 a.m. with a girl right now instead of Reddit, but don't get me wrong I love you guys too. But sadly you can't date Reddit... or can I...
TL;DR: | Come on, just read it. I threw some funny jokes in there just for you... Ok fine, fuck you don't read it... |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: How do I truly become less lazy?
POST: Hi /r/Advice! I typically never go online for advice but this is one I have to just ask and get feed back on, how to I become less lazy? I'm currently a senior in high school and laziness (Senioritis as us high schoolers say) is in full swing for me right now. I've already missed 11 DAYS of school! It's only been half the year and I feel terrible! I mean I'm not a bad student by any means either! AP classes with A/B honor roll! But I'm just really lazy when it comes to going to school and I'll always wait last minute for a lot of stuff! It's even starting to effect me outside of school as well! I never go to church because I sleep in too much and sometimes I choose staying home not cause Im tired or don't want to, I just don't want to get ready!!! I need so heavy advice! Not the typical "Sleep better eat breakfast." advice! I want something that I could take away from so I can avoid this in the future and steer clear of this laziness!
TL;DR: | I've been letting laziness affect a lot of the activities I do and I want to avoid this in the future, heavy advice appreciated. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (21F) hung out with this girl (20F) two times and now she won't leave me alone. I think she's obsessed with me.
POST: Hey, I'm doing this on mobile so apologies about formatting.
So I hung out with this girl (platonically, as a friend), let's call her K.
K seemed cool at first, sorta annoying but whatever. when she came over the second time she ended up drinking a bit and her resulting drunk antics annoyed the crap out of my roommate. ALRIGHT, shit happens I understand. I still give people a chance. Afterwards K would hit me up on FB regularly, saying stuff like "I miss you" "I need to see you soon" or stuff like that. recently I took a trip out of state for a week and the entire time I was there I kept getting messages from her "I miss you so much" "can we have a sleepover soon pls" "I need to see you when you get back"
remember, I hung out with her twice. that's it.
K also has borderline personality disorder, so I sort of understand her actions of desperation. I am just beginning to feel guilty because I really don't want to hang out with this girl anymore but she seems so dead set on it. how do I go about gently letting her go, if that is even possible? She even recounted a personal anecdote involving a friend of mine whom she hung out with once, and he stopped talking to her afterwards(due to her ridiculous drunk antics during hangout sesh with him). she told me about this and said " you're not gonna do that to me, are you?" (this is early in the relationship, so i was like "oh no of course not!)
she is starting to drive me nuts.
TL;DR: | I (21F) hung out with a girl K (20F) 2 times just being nice and now she keeps hitting me up trying desperately to hang out. I don't know what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [18/m] I recently started seeing this girl [18/f] and I have no idea what to do
POST: I've only had one relationship in the past (let's just call her Jane), and it was for 2 and a half years. We had been good friends for more than a year prior to starting our relationship. I've realized that due to this, I have relationship experience but *not* dating experience. I'd never been on a date with someone who wasn't already my girlfriend.
So anyways I've been single since January, and was getting tired of it. I met this girl (we'll call her Mary) in one of my classes. We only started talking at grad night, and then a few weeks later I invited her out to lunch. Things went well, and she seems somewhat interested in me. We hung out at a party on the 4th, and then she came over to my place a few days ago.
The problem is that I have no idea how to act. I have pretty bad conversational skills, so there's a lot of awkward silence. I really like her and would like to start a relationship, but I have no clue if she feels the same way. Like I don't know where we stand. And it would be weird to just ask like that. Basically I'm afraid to make a move because I don't know what would be acceptable.
When I was with Jane I constantly felt like I had to hold myself back from physically expressing my feelings, which is a big part of why it didn't work out. And after dealing with that for so long, it's like I don't know any different. Mary was at my house for quite a few hours, and my parents were gone for a good portion of that. It's not like I have any expectations, but there was literally *zero* physical contact on what I guess you could call our 3rd date.
So I just don't know what to do next. Should I invite her out again, or wait and see if she contacts me? Should I try making a move like holding her hand, or see if she does? I'm just scared that if I overstep a boundary then I will ruin it.
TL;DR: | Started seeing a girl. I have relationship experience but not dating experience. It's really awkward and there's been no physical contact. I need advice on how to make a move or just what to do next. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I feel like I don't have enough freedom to grow as a person in my relationship. Am I being unreasonable?
POST: Hey Reddit. So I [18F] recently moved in with my SO [18M] of 4 years. We are great together. We have an overall pretty healthy relationship and I feel like I have hit the jackpot. Even though we are pretty young we are very mature for our ages and are balancing part-time college, part-time school, all while paying our bills completely on our own.
Adjusting to living together was definitely a challenge we had to overcome and I'd say we are doing better than expected. However here is my problem: I miss being alone sometimes. I have no problems being myself around him 100% completely it's just I miss having all of my privacy. I have a phone call- he is there. I am on my phone- he is there. I miss getting to masturbate or dance around my room and not have anyone see, you know?
I know when you are in a serious relationship you have to make sacrifices, and I am fine with compromising. It's just sometimes I feel like I'm missing out on my college years. We both generally don't go out or party much but sometimes I would like to go to parties and end up staying home with him because he would rather stay in.
Has anyone gone through a situation like mine? How did you deal with it? Or do you have any advice? Should I talk to him about it? Am I being unreasonable? Is this normal? I would really appreciate it.
TL;DR: | I'm having some trouble adjusting to living with my boyfriend for the first time/moving out with my family. What do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Pets
TITLE: Lost cat, it's now been 48 hours.
POST: My 2 year old kitty Lucy was going to be an indoor cat, but we let her out once in a while because she loves it outside. She's always stuck around the yard or come back after a few hours, never been out overnight or anything. She doesn't have a flea collar or all of her shots, just the important ones they have to have to get adopted.
Long story short, she was out around dinner time two nights ago. I saw her running around the yard when we ate dinner (around 6:30) and figured she'd come up to the porch to be let in when she was ready. My dad usually takes care of that.
Apparently, she wasn't anywhere to be found before he went to bed so he closed the door, locking her out, and went to sleep. Come the next morning, she's gone. I had to go to school, but as soon as I got back we searched everywhere. Nothing. Ate dinner, it got dark, I grabbed a flashlight and looked some more. Nothing. Gave up and went to sleep.
That brings me up to today, just about at the 48 hour mark for how long she's been gone. She's really young, not great at making decisions. I'm absolutely worried sick. She's never been gone this long, never overnight, and it's been super rainy the last two days and I don't think she's ever been in a giant rainstorm. We put her food, water, favorite toys and bed on the porch behind her cat door so she would smell them and come back; but nothing's been touched and it's been two days.
What can I do? I'm an absolute mess. I can't stop thinking about what she could be doing or if she's hurt or, god forbid, dead. We live in an area that's a lot of woods, there are other animals out there that could hurt her.
She has a chip so that if someone takes her to a shelter, they'll be able to alert us. But she doesn't have any obvious pet markings and she's skittish. I posted on facebook with a picture, my parents say there's nothing else I can do. I can't sleep or eat, I'm so scared.
TL;DR: | My mostly-indoor cat has been missing for 48 hours. What can I do to find her, if anything? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [29M] and my wife [30F] were invited to the birthday of an acquaintance couple's [30M, 24F] daughter, and can't go for circumstantial reasons. How do we play this?
POST: Throwaway account involved because the people involved know of my regular account. I'll also try to sum this up as briefly as possible:
A couple who are friends to my wife and myself invited us to the birthday party of their five year old daughter. Just to keep track of them, let's call them the "Millers." We've known the Millers a few years, but wouldn't exactly call them close or anything. Part of the issue is that they're close friends with the "Taylors," who my wife and I aren't exactly on good terms with. To sum it up as quickly as possible, they're just dating, and the girl in the relationship kind of betrayed both my wife and one of my best friends in the past few months.
We'd be more than happy to put on our big boy / girl pants and ignore them, but there's a twist that makes up the largest factor in this. The guy in the Taylors is an old college friend of mine, and he and the guy in the Millers have offered me some contract design work with their small business. So I'm essentially forced to play ball and play social games like this birthday party with both of these guys as a pre-requisite of getting any of that work done.
The other small factor is that my wife and I feel as if we don't want to be required to buy some gift for the four year old. It feels forced, and we frankly don't want any relationship to hang on whether or not we buy something off of a wish-list shoved in our faces, especially considering the proximity to the holidays.
Any ideas on how to handle this?
TL;DR: | Wife and I are somewhat being forced into awkward social situations like this in order to keep friends and for me to have some supplemental income, and not sure how to handle it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [29 M] with my long-time friend [27 F], I'm progressively falling for her and don't know how to stop it.
POST: We are not close friends but we have known each other for five years. We only see each other about once every two months with some other friends.
We went on a vacation two weeks ago. Me, she and her sister. At the end, I felt I have discovered a new person. Before I liked her but never saw her as a potential lover. She is very smart, takes things lightly and I found out that her personality is way more like mine than what I thought and I like that.
The thing is, I don't know what love at first sight is. I need to know one's personality to start thinking as someone as a potential lover. I know I'm going to develop feelings for her if I do nothing. It has happened to me before and has led to some destroyed friendships. Whether or not I tell the girl about my feelings, it's always painful. In this case, I am still in control but since all my previous instances have been huge failures, I think there might be something wrong with me.
What do you think about the fact that I need to spend time with someone to be attracted to her ?
Some more details: We got closer during those vacations and she sends me very kind text messages. She jokingly asked me to marry her. I found it funny but I think it proves that at the very least, she likes me like a very good friend. At the same time, I know she has been dating a guy she met on the internet for less than a month.
TL;DR: | Suddenly falling for a friend I've known for years. She is not attracted to me. It's my thing, I always fall for a friend and destroy the relationship. How should I deal with it ? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Have you ever had an eerily specific hunch or prediction come to fruition?
POST: I have only had something like this happen a couple times, with this being the most intense/wtf. I have only told a handful of people who really know me, bc I feel like it makes me sound crazy...
When I was about 19 years old, I came home from school one day, going about my regular business.
Out of absolutely *nowhere*, I just burst into tears. As I'm sitting there crying, I start to get an image in my mind of a woman in a hospital bed.
I can see that she has long dark hair, I can tell she's older, and I feel close to her in some way, like we're related but I can't see her face.
I decided I was ridiculous for crying to myself about an imaginary dying person, brush it off, and continue with my day.
Within 10 minutes, I'm out the door and on my way to the gym, when I get a call from my mom.
I answer, and she's crying so hard I can barely understand what she's saying... got her to calm down and she told me my aunt was in the hospital, had taken a turn for the worst, and that they didn't think she would make it. I realized it was my aunt I was picturing. She fit the image I had in my mind a bit earlier.
I know other people have similar stories, and I love hearing them. Share!
TL;DR: | I imagined that my aunt had been taken to the hospital and was in real bad shape. My mom called minutes later, confirming what I had imagined. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Friendswithbenifits-zoned girl here. I've got feelings - don't think he does. What do I do?
POST: Backstory (sorry if its long) : Im a 25 years old and been friends with this guy for 2 years now (let's call him Alan, hes 22) and the last couple of months we 'accidentally' slept together a few times.
I didn't really see him in that way, until one time I crashed at his place and one thing led to another. We where both dating different people, btw... I broke up with my guy because of this (not fair to him). But Alan is still on with his (gorgeous, smart, better then me in every way) girlfriend. The sex was so amazing that I couldn't think of anything else... I felt so drawn to him.
I'm really '1 of the guys' and so we interact in that way, normally. We are rude to each other, break down each others looks etc, all in good fun. We never touch, by the way, other then a little punch on the shoulder or what not.
*** ANYWAY.... it kept happening (5 times in total over a span of 2 months), we felt so drawn to each other, like I said, but he felt guilty. We vowed to stop it. Now we kinda hang out, text, etc. He treats me like one of the guys again. The thing is: it hurts like hell, when he is a little mean to me, or comments about how pretty other girls are, or how awesome his girlfriend is... just like in the old days, but now my stomach turns. I don't wanna be a girly girl
I wanna be cool about it and let it just be what is was at the time: hot sex, no strings attached. But in the words of Britta from community: I'm not that cool, im not Juno, okay homeslice? *** I can't really share this with anyone, please help me.
TL;DR: | I've had a mini-affair with a close friend and he acts like nothing happened, I want him to be nicer to me. Should I confront him about this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [18/f] Opportunity to move in with high school sweetheart? [19/m]
POST: I am from Oregon, currently attending my first year of university in California. I have been with my boyfriend for over two and a half years, and despite the fact that he is still in Oregon, we are doing well. We have been talking about him moving down here next school year, as he is working at the moment and not attending school. However, my parents don't exactly approve, and have stated that they will not help with any living expenses (rent, food, cell phone bill, Christmas gifts, etc.) if we move in together. I am also worried about missing out on the experience of living with someone else (I'm currently in the dorms, which kind of isn't real life lol). We would have another couple as roommates if this happened. My other worry is that I still need to figure myself out before I make this kind of commitment. We have talked about marriage and are planning on getting married, but moving in together is still a big commitment and a big step. I need to make a decision soon because of housing applications and such. HELP PLEASE.
TL;DR: | I'm worried that I'll be missing out on important experiences if I move in with my high school boyfriend my sophomore year of college. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU By giving my boyfriend a sleepy morning blowjob (NSFW/adult)
POST: So my boyfriend and I are both nightshift people and we usually get to bed just as the sun is finally making it's way back into our lives. We're usually hella tired but he will usually pass out about an hour before I do and wake about an hour before I do. Unfortunately, that doesn't really leave much opportunity for me to initiate "Morning" sex, which has always been something we really enjoyed. It's intimate, cuddly, sweet, and passionate; all at the same time, FTW.
So I found a solution this morning. He usually sleeps like a rock and can wake up for brief, non-intensive periods and have no trouble getting back to sleep. Honestly, I don't know why I didn't think of this sooner. I let him sleep a couple hours and then go into the bedroom. I start smooching him, letting things take a natural course when, while I'm going down on him, he moans out a name.
Not mine, mind you. Now, I should also mention that we're in an open relationship. He's been seeing (Name redacted) on and off for a couple months and it doesn't bother me. What does bother me is... Dude... I know you're half asleep but surely you know that she didn't sneak into our house and start on you while I slept right next to you guys.
His reaction was perfection though. The second it was out of his mouth, his eyes shot wide open and he looked down at me. "Oh my god, (My name), I am so sorry. I suck and you will never do this again for me ever now, will you?"
I laughed because he was just so stupidly cute about the way he reacted to it, I couldn't actually be upset. It was an honest mistake. I climbed up next to him to cuddle and informed him that, yes, I would happily be doing this again, but because of his fuck up, next morning-ish sex was on him.
On the upside, I'm pretty sure I'm getting laid here in a few hours when he wakes up. So that's cool.
TL;DR: | Gave boyfriend morning blowjob and he moaned out the name of the other girl I know he's with from time to time. Now I get laid because he feels, rightly, like a dumbass. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: My boyfriend isn't in love with me anymore, by no fault of my own. What now?
POST: 28/f here, he is 27. Together for about 8 months.
He started to change recently; less affectionate, mean, overreacting to a lot. I could tell something was up, even though he wouldn't go into specifics.
He told me a couple days ago that he isn't in love with me anymore, and he doesn't know why. He says there isn't anyone else. He still finds me very attractive. He assures me that I haven't done anything. I am a very good girlfriend, even he admits this. I am supportive, and loving. I treat him to dates, and buy him little surprises. I listen to him vent. We have (well, had) fun doing anything. We also have a ridiculous amount of things in common. We have awesome sex, although there is a bit of restraint on his part in the oral department. So what gives?
We have both had a lot of stress recently (both started new jobs, moving scare, car troubles, financial problems, family drama), and it has put some strain on us. But not to the point that it should break us up.
After talking, and crying, it out with each other, he decided he still wants to be with me, to start over and try and get the love back. He says he can see himself spending the rest of his life with me; that that is what he wants. He has been very sweet, too. But now, the lack of "I love you"s is killing me, because I love him and he means so much to me. My feelings and pride are hurt from this, to the point where I'm starting to lose feelings. What a cluster fuck. I feel like I'm trapped in a bad movie.
Has anyone had this happen to them? I don't know what to do. Do I wait and see if he falls in love again? Do I leave him?
TL;DR: | my boyfriend doesn't know why he isn't in love with me anymore, but still wants to try. Not sure what to do, so I need help. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I [24m] bring up physical attraction with my gf [23f] of 4 years?
POST: I'll try to keep it short. She was thin when we started dating. She gained enough weight (~40lb) in a couple years and I started losing interest. She decided to lose some weight because she was unhappy with her appearance. I think she could tell I wasn't digging it.
Fast forward a couple years and she's down to a weight where I'm more comfortable with it, but it's not enough. She says she's completed her weightloss.
For context, I was a highschool athlete and kept fit through college. I held her hand through the weight loss and ate better and exercised more myself so that it would be "us" doing it, not just her. I started lifting weights again a year ago and am in better shape than when we started dating.
It makes me mad sometimes because I feel like I got cheated. Her body is not the one she had when I started dating her. I don't expect her to be a super model, but to put in even half the effort I am. True, I do it for myself, but she's not exactly complaining either. But she apparently doesn't even want to do it for herself, which might be what bothers me the most. She has shown interest in lifting with me at the gym, but she'll join me every couple of weeks at most.
So what, do I ask her to do it for *me*? How? I feel like I've been really patient and supportive so far, but I need more from her. I don't think she values fitness like I do. Do we work from there? I feel like the right nudge would solve this, but a wrong push would just piss her off and make it worse.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend and I aren't seeing eye-to-eye on physical fitness and I wish I were more attracted to her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: Storytime...
POST: In high school, I had a thing for this girl. I chased her, naiive as I was, and actually ignored other girls for this one. We'll call her "A." A turned out to be a bitch. I tried many times to hook up with her, but to no avail. After the fact, I had a female friend tell me that A knew the entire time. This same friend later found out that her boyfriend cheated on her... with A. I eventually left this high school.
During my first year of college, I went out with a girl from my high school (she was a senior--this was long distance.) We never got too heavy, physically, but we were going places. Her birthday in the week around Valentine's, so I did what any sane man would do. I took her out. Again, we didn't *do* anything that weekend, but I treated her well. I got back to school. Two days later, we broke up. The next 3 months were bumpy, but I learned my lesson. We texted and tried to stay friends, but for whatever reason we never hung out again. I drew the line and cut everything off. Two weeks/a month later, I tried tweeting her. I found out she blocked me on Facebook too. I can still easily get to her profile, so it bothered me that she cut me off. I brushed it off, and now I don't care.
Now, two months later, I'm over her. However, I figured I'd see what B is up to. (We're at different schools, obviously.) I go to her Facebook. The third and fourth posts are photos, tagged with her best friend... and A. I've always said that "the world is not small, [our state] is." Now I know this to be true.
TL;DR: | My most recent ex and most notorious never-to-be are friends, and I now feel like a stalker. |
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