input
stringlengths 104
2.4k
| output
stringlengths 70
268
|
|---|---|
SUBREDDIT: r/AskDocs
TITLE: It stings when I urinate after drinking?
POST: Hey docs. Firstly, I am a 19 year old male. Have had sexual experiences, but nothing involving penetration of any sort. So basically, back in August of 2014, I started an Accutane treatment that lasted until February of 2015. Accutane essentially dries out your pores and the rest of your body so that acne has trouble forming, and once you're off the medication it essentially ceases to form.
Anyways, I've been off of it for about 8 months now. My face is as clear as ever, but I do have an issue with consuming alcohol. Any time that I drink, whether it be just a beer/a shot/a glass of wine, I get an incredibly uncomfortable burning sensation whenever I have to urinate. It's so incredibly painful that even if I'm at a friend's house, I have to jump in the shower in order to enable myself to urinate quicker. I consider myself to be a relatively hydrated individual, averaging about 7-8 or so full glasses of water per day(sometimes more if I go to the gym). If I don't drink alcohol, then I urinate as normal and feel no stinging sensations. But if I do, I have to drink almost 2 full glasses of water before drinking a beer just to avoid the uncomfortable stinging sensation that it gives. Does anybody know what might be going on? Any help would be more than appreciated!
TL;DR: | I took Accutane almost a year ago, and now any time that I drink alcohol it stings when I urinate |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: My Expensive Christmas Present From The Police...Help?
POST: Just wanted to vent here, and see if anyone had any advice.
So in November, my motorbike got stolen. The bike was put up on eBay the same morning, and the guy selling it put his phone number on the auction, which linked to his name, business address (which was the location of the bike) etc. etc. etc.
I contacted the police, told them ALL of the information of the whereabouts of the bike etc.... They did nothing, at all, for over a month (I had to win the eBay auction for the bike TWICE to prevent it from being sold on, which gave me a nice non-payment notice on my ebay account, and that of a friend).
Finally, my case was passed on to a new officer, and my bike was recovered from the person selling it on eBay, great news I thought!
Now I have received a letter from the police impound lot, and I am being charged 200 Pounds to RETRIEVE My stolen bike, plus 20 pounds a DAY storage fee, which I can't afford... If I DON'T retrieve it, they charge me fifty pounds (plus that storage fee) for the privilege of having my bike crushed and disposed of. Right now that is literally the only option I can afford, meaning it would have actually been BETTER for me to leave my bike to be sold off to someone on eBay!! The bike is worth only around 200 pounds so even if I got it back and decided to sell the thing, I wouldn't recoup my losses... I've looked over online and there are dozens of news reports on people who have gone through similar situations and nobody has been able to waive the charges... I am absolutely pissed off to the most ridiculous degree, and have no idea what to do... Can anyone on reddit help?
TL;DR: | Police took months to deal with my stolen bike, despite TELLING THEM where it was, and now are charging me 200 pounds to get my bike back (which I can't afford), or 50 pounds to have it destroyed... |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20 M] broke up with my gf [20 F] of three years, now I'm challenged by internal conflict.
POST: I broke up with my then gf because I felt like we had grown apart. We started dating when we were 17 y/o. We were both going through some turmoil in our lives. I was glad to be there for her, and have her there for me during these times. She is the woman I lost my virginity to, and the only one I have had sexual relations with. But we went to college, the same one, and it became apparent that we were heading in different directions.
I gathered the courage to end the relationship. It wasn't easy for either party. In the following weeks I was confident I had made the right decision, and I still am. But now, around 2 months later, I'm having a tough time moving on.
The thought of her being with another man makes me nauseous. I've seen her around campus a few times, that same thought crosses my mind, and I get the same nauseous feeling in my stomach. We were both straight edge when we were together. I know she has gone to parties and got drunk. I too went to a party, but didn't drink. Knowing that she could go to a party, get drunk, and have a one night stand makes me sick. I very well know that I could go out and do the same, and that makes me hypocritical, but this feeling almost feels out of control. Is this a feeling of jealousy? I can't put my finger on the reason I feel sick when I think about, or see her.
At the same time, I know her and I are already different people then when we were dating. I'm having more fun with my guy friends than I would have had I stayed in the relationship. It makes me positive that I made the right decision.
I just need some advice to help me move on. I'm tired of having mixed emotions.
TL;DR: | Broke up with my then gf, and now I feel sick when I see her, but don't know why. I know I made the right decision. Help me clear my mind. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit: Can you interpret my weird childhood dream?
POST: I just posted this in "what was the most ridiculous fear you had as a child?" and realized I'd love to get some Reddit input on it (good input, bad input, and ugly input... sure, why not?).
I used to have a re-occuring nightmare, starting when I was fairly young (maybe 5 or 6?) and tapering off as I got older. I feel absolutely ridiculous explaining it, but it scared the shit out of me every time I dreamt it:
Picture a plain, bright white rectangular room. No doors, no windows. There is a small bright red bouncy ball in the room. It starts bouncing wall to wall slowly. Then it starts picking up speed. The faster and more erratic it bounced, the more frightened I got. I would wake up in serious fear and I couldn't explain why.
I'd love to know if anyone could interpret WTF that dream meant. It still gives me the chills to think about it now. And I am pretty damn desensitized to everything else.
Do your worst, fellow Redditors.
Or your best. Whatever.
TL;DR: | Had a crazy red-bouncy-ball-in-a-white-room dream that scared the crap out of me as a kid and I still have no idea why. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19 M] with my bestfriend/crush/LDR [18 F] had a fight due to a promise I broke a long time ago and now I've told her about it due to guilt.
POST: My friend made me promise her months back (not entirely sure how long) that I wouldn't sell drugs. I made that promise to her, fully believing that I wouldn't do it.
She lives across the country from me and we've never met, but she is seriously one of the best friends I've ever had. Known her for four years now and we've always had a difficult relationship due to the distance, personalities, my depression, and her anxiety.
Today I was Skyping with her in between my classes at my college and the promise I broke to her was in my mind. I've been trying recently to improve on myself and felt that this is something I needed to say to her. Something that I needed to get off my chest. Once I told her, she went silent and hung up on me. I got a message from her telling me how much of a piece of shit I was for breaking the promise and how she will never trust me again.
I've tried talking to her and explaining the situation. I've never done any serious drugs, except for some experimentation in high school with pills (I do smoke pot, but recently I've decided that it's in my best interest to stop for awhile).
A month or two back I had been strapped for cash, worrying that I wouldn't be able to make it to my classes or get certain things done. Because a lot of my friends have access to pills or weed, I knew someone who would buy a lot at once. Now, I've only done this twice and I literally hate myself for it. Not just for the fact that I upset my friend but that I had done something that I could of gotten arrested or killed over.
I've tried messaging her, hoping for a response yet she won't talk to me and said that our friendship is over. I love this person dearly and would never want to hurt her. What should I do? There's only so much I can say to her. It's not possible for me to see her face to face and if she's blocked me, I'm not sure if there is anything I can do.
TL;DR: | Made a promise, sold drugs, felt guilty for breaking the promise so I told her about it, and now she hates me and won't talk to me. What do, reddit? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [Non-Romantic] My [25M] brother [29M] had a baby and he and my family want me to be a super cool uncle.
POST: Since my sister-in-law was pregnant, my brother always tried to tell me to be happy about it, that I'm going to be a uncle, that I am supposed to pretend to be happy for his wife, to laugh when te baby moved in her belly...
I'm not saying that I'm hate the baby, I like it, but I don't feel that hapiness that I am supposed to feel.
The baby was born yesterday, and my brother was happy, everyone was happy, me too, but he want me to hold the baby, to be cute with the baby and that sort of things, but I don't want to. First: I think babies are useless. I don't like playing with babies. When she get older I'll be a better uncle, play with her and that sort of thing, but babies are boring. Second: Babies are ugly, I don't know why everyone keep talking about how beautiful she is. Yes, she look prettier than most of the babies, but I don't think she is pretty.
Normally I don't like kids, but I have a few little cousins with 10 years and 6 years that I think it's cute, but I can't play with them more than 10 minutes without getting bored, and I don't know what to do with a baby girl.
Of course I didn't told my brother that I find babies useless and ugly, I told my mom, and she told me not to tell him and I agreed, but I don't know how I am supposed to be this kind of uncle who plays with the baby. I'm not the kind of person who keep talking to the baby with baby voice.
I feel happy for them, and in the future I think it will be easier to help, but I don't like babies.
TL;DR: | My brother had a baby yesterday. My family wants me to be a cool uncle, hold the new baby girl, feel happy, but I don't really like kids so much and I think babies are useless and ugly. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, I need your help! I work for a jewelry store and believe I've been conned today!
POST: I work at a jewelry store in **Houston, TX**.
At around 4pm today, a guy and his supposed wife walked into my store and claimed they want to buy a 1.50ct diamond. The guy did all the talking, while his wife just admired the rings. He claimed they had a 1.50ct that was lost and recently got the insurance check for it. He provided me with a valid diamond cert showing it was a 1.50ct I color VS1 clarity. I found him a nice replacement diamond and his wife chose a ring. The insisted they have a dinner tonight with the wife's family and they want to show off the new diamond/ring and asked for it to be set on the spot. Our jeweler is off on Mondays, so I explained it'll have to be tomorrow.
At this point they asked to pay the full amount for it. I agreed and like a stupid amateur, accepted a personal check for $11,900. I saw the guy's ID, but didn't scan it or made sure his named matched the check. His face did match it, however. Then, him and his wife said they really want to show the new diamond and ring to their family tonight, and requested to pick up the diamond and ring, unset. The guy said he'll bring it back tomorrow morning so that we can set it for him. I made the huge mistake of agreeing since in the back of my mind I believed it was a cashier's check without double checking.
They were gone by the time I'd started figuring it out. The phone number he gave me was fake, the email address bounced back, I called his apartment complex to see if he resided there and they never heard of him, and Wells Fargo confirmed the account number on the check didn't exist.
TL;DR: | I work in a jewelry store, a guy conned me taking $11,900 worth of goods and gave me a fake check. Please help me find him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me[19F] , ex [20M] wants to get back together, but i'm already seeing someone else..CONFUSED!
POST: my ex and I broke up about 2 months ago, we were dating for 2 1/2 years. he wanted to break up because he wanted "to be single and live his 20 year old live and do whatever, whenever he wants" we were with eachother every single day, so you can only imagine how hard the break up was on me... extremely depressed and my anxiety is through the roof...
I took a summer class in college, and a really cute boy asked for my number, and we ended up starting to "talk" and we hang out almost every day. The only thing is that he [20M] broke things off with his [20F] ex, after they dated for 4 years, they broke up about a month ago. I really like being with this kid, he makes me feel so good about myself, and he is going to college unlike my ex which drove me crazy that my ex didnt go to school.
Yesterday I got a text from my ex saying i want to give you your stuff back, went over his house, he ended up crying the whole time saying he misses me and i told him im seeing someone else which made him even more upset.
Lets just say my best friend cant stand this new guy. She thinks he is using me since he always asks for sexual favors (which i constantly deny since i dont want to get hurt again) and when we all hung out together he was mean to her, and just really drunk.
So basically im in a predictament.. go back to my ex who i can trust 100% and would never intentionally hurt me, or take a risk and keep talking to this new guy who i'm not sure how the relationship will be although he tells me all the time how much he really likes me...
:(
TL;DR: | ex broke up with me, wants me back, im seeing a new guy, my best friend cant stand the new guy, dont know who to keep seeing |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My Girlfriend [29F] of 4 years just informed me [29M] that she is seriously interested in joining the Air Force. Advice is needed.
POST: As the title states, girlfriend of 4 years is gaining the courage to join the
military, Air Force to be exact. She wants to see the world and help
people and potentially use her degree(bachelors degree in sociology)
We are both 29 years old and though I feel I'm always supportive in her decisions, this decision she is making has me somewhat on the fence. I have heard and read horrendous stories(thanks reddit /s) about relationships when the boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife is in the military. I'm using google to see how long the process is(basic training, schooling, deployment, etc) but I would greatly appreciate ANY advice regarding the matter. I don't want to go in blind with her choice that can also effect the relationship in any kind of harmful way. As stated we have been together for 4 years(both are longest relationship) and she wants me to be with always(marriage is on the table) but what are the rules or policy for couples dating to a married couple? If she is deployed to germany can a boyfriend accompany her or is that an option for married couples? I sincerely love this girl very passionately but i would be lying if I say I wasn't afraid that her choosing to join the military might come in-between us.
TL;DR: | Any veterans advice or spouse's of veterans advice and just anybody's advice about girlfriend of 4 years joining military would be greatly appreciate. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Is it okay for my Girlfriend (19F) to sleep in the same bed as someone who has feelings for her?
POST: Okay so a little back story her. Me (19M) and my girlfriend have been dating since early high school and the relationship we have is really good and I love her. I am straight and she is bisexual (plays a part in the story). Lately though we haven't really talked to one another like we usually would. Its been different. We are both going through some separate things right now.
Okay on wards to the problem. So she has left for a conference with 4 of her friends (all women) and I thought this would be good and helpful for the both of us since this gives us sometime apart from each other. To cut the costs of a hotel, they had decided to all stay in one room together. This is perfectly fine with me because I trust my girlfriend 100%.
The problem that comes into play is the sleeping arrangements. I believe that she is sleeping in the same bed as one of her close friends. The thing is that the close friend is in love with her. I know this because this friend had confessed that she loved her and me and my girlfriend talked about it. She doesn't feel the same way. They still hang out and do stuff with each other because they are still close friends, which is also fine with me because I know that this friend does mean a lot to my girlfriend. I would only have a problem if this friend tried to make a move on her.
But yeah, I dont know how to feel about this sleeping arrangement. It makes me uncomfortable that she is sleeping in the same bed as her but I don't want seem to be controlling and tell her she can't do something. I don't know, maybe I'm overreacting because there is also other people in the room. I have overreacted before. So I came her for some outside help.
TL;DR: | So my girlfriend is out at a conference with 4 friends. They are all sleeping in the same room and she is sleeping in the same bed with someone that has feelings for her. Is this okay? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [26 M] with my female friend [25 F] tells me to go see other women while she thinks about commiting to me.
POST: Known this girl for a couple of weeks gone on multiple dates and we get along very well.
I asked her if she wanted to be give a relationship a try in which she agreed to but take it slow which I was fine with. She initially did not want to be in any relationship as she just got out of one but since things were going so well I figured I would ask and see where it went.
Few more dates later she suddenly asks why I like her in which I just tell her the truth that I think she has a great personality and that we get along etc etc then out of nowhere we are making out then after she goes that she needs time to think about if she wants to commit to a relationship and tells me to not hold myself back and go see other women.
I told her that I understood where she is coming from and willing to wait and see what she wants to do as I think she is worth it but the main thing for me is her telling me to go see other women her way of saying she does not want a relationship but does not want to outright say it? or am I over thinking things?
TL;DR: | Girl makes out with me then tells me to go see other women while she thinks if she wants to commit to relationship with me |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I [25F] tell my Grandmother [65/F] that I got married and she wasn't invited to the wedding?
POST: So I recently got married but opted not to invite my Grandparents on my fathers side.
I've never met my father as he as young and didn't want to be involved, which is fine. Though she opted to stay apart of my life. I've always been the 'dirty secret' on that side. One time when I was 13 I had to be locked in a room for an entire day because my Grandmothers sister dropped around unexpectedly and they don't know I exist.
Anyway, my grandfather has been sick for the last 6 years and at one point it was bad. So I asked her if things took a turn for the worst, would I be invited to the funeral as my biological father would be there and wants nothing to do with (he's even found me on facebook and blocked me)
She said that I wouldn't be invited for that reason and that I'm 'bad for their image', but they are both 'still so proud of me'. She's not a nice person.
So, basically this is why I haven't invited her. I could say she's 'bad for my image' too. Plus, my Mother-in-law is one of 13 children, so that's a lot of my Husband's family we had to invite!
I still email and speak to her every couple of months. She knew we were engaged, but I didn't disclose to her when the wedding was. I feel like I should tell her sooner rather than later.
Don't know what or how to word it.
Any suggestions on how to approach this situation would be appreciated.
TL;DR: | My grandmother (mother of my biological father who I've never met) wasn't invited to our wedding due to number constraints and the fact that I don't like her very much. How do I tell her we got married? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me(26m) and her (28f). Not sure if she feels the same but i really like her.
POST: So basically like i said i really like her. We met again after a few years apart. We were just acquaintances in the past. Friends step sister i fuess. We saw each orher on a dating site as we are both far away from where we grew up in the same city. Im not sure if she wants to be friends or maybe something more. I am insecure and would hate to be rejected but i know i will have to tell her how i feel soon. Anyways we really get along. We have very deep emotional conversations especially when texting. We hung out and watched movies last sarurday and had a lot of fun. The next day we went on a hike and found a nice swimming spot and then we tanned. This past sarurday she invited me over for to stay and watch movies. We went to a beautiful park and talked and then walking home a clock said midnight and ahe made a reference to cinderella with me haha. The next day we hung out all and had lunch, went out to a street festival and then got drunk and played jenga where she beat me like 10 times and teased me quite a lot. Later we went out for dinner with ger friends who i got along with great and she put her head on my shoulder for quite a while. This morning i left for work for the week and she texted me saying, aww you're gone. I know this is a wall of text and that im probably a bit crazy but this stuff doesnt cone easy to me. Women of reddit what do you think she feels about me. Hard to rationalize? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
TL;DR: | i like a girl who I've hung out with a lot last two weekends. Know i need to tell her, not sure how she feels about our relationship. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [15 F] in a gray area with my friend [16 M] because of our relationship dynamic
POST: First off, sorry for being young and stupid but I need advice and my friends aren't really giving me anything to work with. Me and a pretty close friend of mine (who I sort of wanted to be more than friends with) started hooking up at the beginning of the school year.
We got together maybe four or five times in the beginning, but it became apparent that it was at the sacrifice of our friendship. On the weekends we'd have fun ad hook up but then in school he wouldn't really talk to me, or he'd act irritated. After awhile we just stopped talking, until last month or so when things sort of returned back to normal which was nice.
The problem is, I think I have feelings for him still, and now we both want to hook up again and I'm having a hard time figuring out if the result will be the same. Also note that the entire time everything was totally platonic, which I didn't mind that much.
TL;DR: | a friend and I hooked up but we stopped being friends. Now we're friends again but we still want to hookup, only I don't want to sacrifice our friendship. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: how do i [24m] deal with a non-emotional gf [22]?
POST: been dating a wonderful girl for over a year and have learned throughout the duration that she just isn't into responding to sweet things, compliments, talking about feelings for each other, etc. It's not that I'm the sappy type but I do like showing my affection verbally a lot of the time. I've spoken to her about it multiple times and she always comes back with "i just don't know how to deal with emotional things like that, I don't know how to respond back." I know she cares about me and likes me. This leads me to why I haven't told her I loved her yet because I'm afraid the feeling won't be reciprocated or she'll get too freaked out. i've been told she's a commitment-phobe, so the fact that she's been dating me for a year is a definitely a positive thing. I just wish she could meet me halfway sometimes or not make me feel like I have to hold back telling her what I feel for her. she's a highly independent woman that likes to deal with things on her own so I've also learned that if she's in a bad mood or doesn't want to talk, I give her space and let her figure things out (not a problem, but just giving more backstory). i feel like I'm at a standstill and it makes me wonder if i should back off emotionally so i don't get burned in the future. any suggestions since I'm not making any headway?
TL;DR: | not sure how to deal with a girl who doesn't respond to verbal affection. thinking i should back off and put up a wall. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Is it fair for my GF [22] to ask me [23m] to not be friends with my friends anymore in this situation?
POST: A few months ago my girlfriend and I took a break. During this break we were angry and confused. I went to some mutual friends for advice, but when seeking this advice due to my anger and confusion things came off more in my point of view than a more objective view of the situation.
This lead to me saying she was a sociopath and my friend calling her psycho. Other friends listened but never really said anything bad about her. I really felt/feel bad about having called her a sociopath and I realize I was being dramatic when saying that..I didn't really mean it, I was venting.
Anyways these conversations were mostly through facebook chat and one day after we had gotten back together I left my facebook account open on her computer and she went though my messages. I never told her exactly what I said but I told her that I had gone to people for advice. She was obviously upset and became upset that the friends didn't go to her to get her side of the story. Also included in the messages was about how I had developed a small infatuation with one of my friends so my girlfriend also didn't like that at all.
Right now she hates them all for not being true friends and talking to her instead of just taking my word as fact. She thinks they all think shes a joke and that I was disrespectful by having them all hang out together knowing that I had talked to them about the relationship and saying she was in the wrong and basically calling her crazy. She wants me to not hang out with them anymore because she can't trust me when I'm with them, or talking to them. She always thinks I'm talking about her when I am with them. I had stopped talking to them about the relationship and our issues months ago but after reading the messages its as if that is all gone now.
Should I stop being friends with these people? I know I was in the wrong with many things but is this the answer to making things better? I have started to see them less but whenever I tell her I'm planning on seeing them it becomes a big fight where she says its either them or her.
TL;DR: | Had bad things to say about my gf to our friends when we were on a break, she read them and now wants me to dump my friends. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, what stupid thing have you done out of fear of being impolite?
POST: One fine morning I was waiting at a bus stop when an old Puerto Rican man (looked to be around 65; I was 20) began speaking with me. He was talking about casual stuff like the weather but did so all in rapid Spanish without giving me a chance to get a word in. It was like he assumed I was a fluent Spanish speaker despite my total lack of Hispanic looks. Luckily I do speak Spanish so as to not be rude I continued talking to him, and we both got on the bus. Turns out we were getting off at the same stop and when we were about to part ways he asked for my number. He explained that it was so that we could maybe go to the park sometime and chat. Envisioning some Tuesdays with Morrie type scenario where he would tell me about his life and I would learn life lessons, and convincing myself it was not him hitting on me, I kind of starting to consider giving him my phone number. Then I came to my senses and began to find it creepy and panic, especially since he know the general area I lived in. However, because I had met him at a bus stop near my house that I went to a lot I gave him my real number in case I saw him again and he confronted me about rudely giving him a fake number. He called me about three weeks later while I was at a party...couldn't really hear him, not sure what he was saying. Guess I'll never know. Oh Juan.
TL;DR: | Gave a 65 year old Puerto Rican man my correct phone number at the bus stop when asked for it for fear of giving him a fake one lest he see me again and confront me for being rude. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [28F] with my ex [33M]. Just broke up after three years, not sure how to proceed.
POST: Hi Reddit, I just left my boyfriend of 3.25 years. We broke up on November 1st but ended up living together until just over a week ago. I broke up with him because of his anger issues, as well as basic incompatibilities and no long-term future. He originally agreed to the breakup but later "reneged" on his side of the deal.
---
He was very sad to see me go. As was I, but I was firm in my resolve to be alone rather than to stay with someone so unhappy/wrong for me. Unfortunately, while we were broken up and still living together we ended up falling back into old ways. We were no longer affectionate just chilling around the house, but we continued to hang out at night, cook dinner together, and had sex a couple times. He tried to convince me to stay a couple times but, again, I was firm, and he mostly accepted it.
---
Before I left he expressed sadness because I'm his best friend, and he doesn't have many friends. I told him we could still be friends and I'd have him over for dinner a few times. However, since I left we spoke once on the phone and texted a bit on Christmas, and it was... awkward. There was nothing much to say and the conversations ended quickly. He initiated the texting both times, and I haven't initiated yet.
---
I'm trying to figure out how to proceed. Do I text him and keep up the texting friendship? Invite him over for dinner or out for coffee? We still have a few things to exchange anyways (like his keys), so it kind of needs to happen. I just can't tell if he's waiting for me to initiate something, or if I should just leave him alone until he's ready to chat. I definitely think it would be a bad idea to have him over and have sex. I feel that I can be firm on that as I know it would be a huge mistake. So reddit, what do you think about contacting an ex post-breakup, even if the breakup was fairly amicable? Thanks for your input.
TL;DR: | I broke up with boyfriend two months ago but just moved out. While we were still living together we engaged in couple-y behavior and he didn't want me to leave. Should I contact him? |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: Addiction issues.
POST: My fiance has them. He's quit smoking cigarettes, stop using his meds for a high and cut down drinking a huge amount and smokes weed maybe once a month. I'm proud of how far he's come in only 2 months. My issue? Not the weed. I don't mind him smoking that once a week or so.
Cigarettes. He quit and it's I guess a pet peeve I have and we talked about only him smoking one once a month but now he's looking at E-Cigs and impulsively bought one when we had talked about it and more or less told him that it wasn't a good idea and more or less put it on the shelf for another day to talk about.
Why I'm so upset is because he's getting worse about his self control. We were on the phone when he had told me bought one and I straight out told him that failed with his self control and was being honest and non-confrontational though I was upset.
I've been really supportive of him and we openly talk about it. But lately, he's been drinking more and now back to smoking and I've talked to him about how he's letting go a bit more and getting the whole "Well, it's just one..." thought process. I used to be a horrible alcoholic and smoked more weed than I can remember so I understand and I haven't been getting upset until recently.
I don't always speak when I'm upset to let myself gather my thoughts and not speak without logic. I had told him that I was going to get off the phone for now and that I loved him and to be careful driving and he got mad at me.
TL;DR: | I'm upset my fiance has been slowly getting worse with self control with addictions and now he's mad at me for trying to take time to step away and think about the situation. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I[25M] am living with my best friend[25M] and his girlfriend[23F] of about two years. Situation is bad. I don't know what to do anymore.
POST: I may give the full story at some point(if y'all think you even need it), but so much has happened and I don't have the energy to type it out right now.
Long story short-ish: The girlfriend and I don't get along at all. She has been massively passive aggressive and creepy. It seems pretty clear that she is jealous of my friendship with my friend (which has definitely taken some damage and is no longer something to be jealous of[as if it should be]).
Things got REALLY bad a few months back, but we patched things over more or less. However I still planned to move out(Current plan is June).
The girlfriend has recently started acting strangely(not the first time) and being passive aggressive. Now she seems to be starting shit again. Expecting me to clean up after them, etc.
I thought we could live together for a couple of months. She "won" after all.
Not sure what to do. My friendship with my friend is important. Moving out early will be very difficult financially(as I would have to move twice), and I'm worried suggesting it might come off badly. On the other side, staying could just make things worse.
How should I handle the situation?
TL;DR: | Best friend's girlfriend and I are at each other's throats. I've tried talking, and even giving gifts. However I refuse to be her slave. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Guy [28m] sends me [31f] an "I love you" video, how the heck do I respond?
POST: This guy and I are best friends. We've been in a relationship twice, the first I broke up with him was during a mental breakdown. I was losing it and doing stupid things. Cutting ties with people and hurting everyone I could. He was very hurt and so was I, but not b/c of him. The second time we were together for a over a year, but the physical distance between us makes things very hard in a relationship and we mutually agreed to end it but still maintain a close friendship. We are close, very close. He is honestly the best friend I've ever had and I know he feels the same way about me. He's such a great guy.
Anyway. I've been moody the past couple of days and took it out on him in the form of not talking to him for that time. I completely ignored him when he tried to talk to me...I was just mean. I sent him a text before bed apologizing for being a bitch. This morning I woke up to a video he sent me of Tourettes Guy saying "Bitch...I love you". I responded "lol" but I feel like maybe I should have said more. Or maybe I shouldn't have. My question is was he possibly meaning more by it or was it just a humorous way to let me know everything is okay? Should I talk to him about it and how should I bring it up?
TL;DR: | Best of friends on and off for four years, guy sends "I love you video" girl has no idea what is going on or how to respond. Help. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Should I give my ex back our dog?
POST: I was in a relationship with my fiance for 8 years. We got a dog together about 5 years ago. I am 32, graduate with Computer Engineering degree, she is 27, finishing her degree in Art History. She paid for the dog($1200), a full-bred Boston Terrier. I have taken care of the dog since we got her. She went off to school for a few years and came back. During the time she was gone, she left me with the dog. I have always paid vet bills, paid for heartworm pills, paid for everything the dog needed. The fiance didn't work out and now wants her dog back. The dog means the world to me. She has taken everything else from me and I really love this dog. Should I give her back the dog?
Way we broke up probably doesn't matter, but the more info you have, maybe the better advice I will get. I was with her for 8 years, she said we were going through a rough spot about 3 months ago, she said she needed to move to her parents house to take a break. I was the "Okay guy", before she left, we sat down and talked about it. I asked specifically if she was seeing anyone else, were we still together, should I start dating other people, etc. Her response was we are still together, we are still engaged, we are still going to be together... The very next day, she moved from Texas, USA to Germany to be with her best friends brother, an army guy stationed there. Didn't say a word to me for weeks. I actually found out she was there through her Facebook page. She came back last month when it didn't work out with him. Now she wants the dog back. Help me reddit, don't know what to do, should I give her back the dog that means the everything to me?
TL;DR: | Bitch left me for another guy after 8 years, back in town, wants my dog that she paid for back, should I give it back? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: My neighbor has advanced cancer
POST: I just found out that my next door neighbor is battling stage 4 cancer and I wanted to let him know we're around if he ever needs anything. I thought about taking him some food and a "get well" card with our phone numbers in it (can't remember if he already has them or not), but I can't decide if this would be nice or weird.
Weird because I haven't actually talked to him in a few months (because neither of us spends much time in our yards in the winter) so he didn't tell me directly, but he told my dad who stopped by my house yesterday and they saw each other. And he's been going through it for a while now already. And I don't know if he's the kind of person that just wants people to be normal with him and not all overly sympathetic, and I'd hate to be an annoying overly sympathetic person (even though I feel absolutely awful for him and want to help in any way I can).
I don't know him that well, but he's a nice and friendly guy with a good sense of humor. I think he also likes to come across as having something of a "tough" exterior. He's a divorced middle-aged guy with a teenage daughter that he shares custody of; I'm not sure how much or little she is at his place, but I do see her around sometimes. I don't think he has a lot of other family around him (but really, what do I know).
Anyway, I just don't want my approaching him with sympathy food to come across as too somber or pandering or anything, especially when he's already been going through this for a while now. I also don't know the status of his health, so he might be doing ok lately (I saw him energetically shoveling snow not too long ago, so hopefully that's a positive sign), but obviously stage 4 in general is very scary.
I'm very probably overthinking it, but I have no experience with this kind of situation. What is the best thing to do here?
TL;DR: | Found out indirectly that my next door neighbor has had stage 4 cancer for several months. Good idea to bring him sympathy food and card? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: HELP!!! Me [23F] has FWB [22M] and is head over heels in love with him. Problem is....
POST: My fwb and I used to date 5 1/2 years ago(I was 18, he was 17). He's the guy I lost my virginity to and vice versa. We broke up twice: first time his mom influenced him to do so and the last time, I broke up with him for the hell of it (Yea, I know, I'm an asshole). He put some nude pictures of myself up online for my entire high school to see and we never spoke again until this past August.
Flash-forward to now, we're really close, and I mean it's like we're dating but without the title (ex. sexy time, cuddling, holding hands, date, comes and picks me up if I need a ride at 2 am, holds my hair back if i throw up, etc.) He comes over every day (or every other day) and he's brought up our previous relationship, not me. He'll bring up the "Remember when's" and he told me he cares about me. Problem is that I am divorced (almost 2 years) with an almost 4 year old daughter. He has never met her and I told him if we ever date, he and I would have to be super serious (ex. moving in together etc) before he was to meet her.
Last Friday, I got really drunk (I never drink) and he came over for some sexy time. I instead decided to word vomit everything I've been feeling for him these past few months. (I've actually thought about it beforehand, and I realized that I've never fallen out of love with him, again I know I'm horrible) He, again, told me that he cares about me a lot, but if I didn't have my daughter, then "if you didn't have your baggage the odds of us together would be far higher" <--direct quote.
My problem is I over read and over think everything. So can someone please give me an outside view of what is happening/what I should do? I really don't want to stop the fwb thing because I still want him in my life, even if it just is as friends, plus the sex is phenomenal...so yea.
TL;DR: | In love with fwb/ex-boyfriend. Have a kid with someone else and fwb can't accept that. What should I do to get over him, move on, wait it out etc.? Super confused. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My boyfriend (17m) of 3 years just broke up with me (18f)
POST: Its hard. He was so, so sure that I was THE one. The one he could see being married to, the one he could see spending his life with. I, on the other hand, was never sure. He's a great guy, an amazing boyfriend, and an amazing best friend, but I couldn't tell him for 100% that I wanted to marry him. I asked for a break, I couldn't handle the fact that if we didn't break up in the next 3-5 years, we could be married. Especially with college coming up, I thought it'd be the perfect chance to get some life experiences and meet new people. I thought he'd agree. He didn't. He said its either we break up or nothing. We went on like that for a month or two and he came upto me today to tell me that he couldn't handle it anymore and that he was done. I was upset, I still am, but not at him. A part of me regrets bringing up the idea of taking a break in the first place. A part of me hates me for making him doubt what we had. But as all of my friends have said, maybe its for the better. I really hope so.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend was sure I was the one he wanted to marry, I wasn't. I asked for a break, he couldn't handle it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [27F] with my bf [27M] of 1 year, what I did is right?
POST: Hi, I'll be breaking up with my bf and just need reassurance from people that my line of thinking isn't outrageous or abnormal.
Basically 5 months ago I found out that my bf cheated on me with another girl through looking through his texts. A few days ago I found out that she called him, and we had a fight about this. I asked if he can call/text her to say that he cheated and they need to stop talking (as to my knowledge they DID stop talking because he never reached out to her but she called to find out if he had any drugs).
He argued that it would be "weird" to tell her randomly.
Next day, I called her and pretended I didn't know they cheated and just asked the question if they did anything from a certain date because I had weird cheating vibes.
She texted him saying that she got a weird phone call, and my bf blew up and said that I "violated his trust," and I "need to move on from this." He couldn't believe what I did, and I made him look like a cheater, a fool, and he's humiliated because he has mutual friends with her.
I told him to fuck off and that I'm done with him. I don't understand why the had the BALLS to say I violated his trust by doing what I did. He cheated and should have told her.
TL;DR: | bf cheated and never told the other woman, but they weren't trying to meet up. He blew up and I said I was breaking up with him. I just need reassurance I did the right thing. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 M] with my two roommates [23 M] [23 F] of 2 months, I'm moving out but I helped pay for all of the stuff
POST: So I moved into this apartment recently with two people I met on craigslist. They turned out to be really great and while we don't hang out all the time, we are totally respectful of each other and get along fine.
I haven't been able to find a job that I really want and an opportunity came up in another town that I am going to take starting next month. I will be moving out right before thanksgiving and they are totally cool with that and understand why I am going.
The issue is that on first impressions we all thought we would be staying in the apartment for a while, at least for a year, and filled the house with furniture, kitchenware, etc. Now I am leaving and the two of them, being friends from college, seem to have found their new home for at least a few years. Almost everything was bought on craigslist so it was probably less than $200 that I spent on stuff, but as a recent grad who isn't ready to get a real job yet, money is pretty tight.
Is it fair to ask them for some of the money back? I wouldn't expect all of it but any amount would be fair considering 1/3 of the stuff is technically mine. I would try to take some of it with me but I am moving into employee housing for my new job and it is totally furnished.
Any advice on if this is fair to ask and how to approach it is welcome.
TL;DR: | Moving out of an apartment I just moved into and filled with furniture. Is it fair to ask for some of that money back? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by leaving a phone in my office
POST: So a little bit of backstory:
I'm 16 by the way.
I am a gamer so naturally I have some servers running in my office. I'm only at this house every other month so I need to be able to monitor some servers that I have in the office. I'm also a cheap person so my only way to monitor said servers is to use a old android phone I had laying around and use that as an IP Camera. I forgot about this and as it turns out, this phone has been on since June of 2012.
This phone sat in a little office organizer and just stayed plugged in, always watching. Earlier this year I had to move the servers to a different building so that my sister can stay here when she got back from college. I bet you see whats gonna happen. The servers got moved out but I forgot about the camera and stopped logging in to check it because I really didn't need to now that the servers were in my room.
My sister came home for the holidays and the office became her room. No big deal. Today I was sitting in my room and guess what! My mom started yelling at me from down stairs. Oh shit..... I go down and there they are at the kitchen table. They just lost it. My mom is pretty god damn religious and so is my sister. Apparently when my sister got home she saw the phone, on a camera app, and absolutely flipped her shit. I think my mom disowned me during the yell fest. I tried to explain that it was for servers but because the room got rearranged, it was pointed right to the center of the room and apparently she has changed in there many times. They automatically assumed I was spying on her because I'm a horny teenager.
So now I'm in my room, my dads on the way from work and I have to figure out a way to explain that I'm not a peeper. My mom is downstairs crying to my relatives for some reason and my sister is probably telling all her friends about what a little perv I am. Not looking forward to the next few hours.
TL;DR: | I had a phone as an IP camera in my office. Sister stayed in office. Now I'm a disowned peter piper peeper. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [24/m] had a conversation go terribly with gf [30/f]
POST: We've been together for almost 2 and a half years and we have issues here and there just as I'd assume any couple does. I've always believed in complete communication and openness in my relationships and although she agrees it's important, she's usually reluctant to tell me anything personal. Obviously as our relationship went on she became more comfortable with it but it's definitely not her first course of action.
Two nights ago she told me something that upsets her and was really personal. I realized I had had a similar experience at one point and the way I got over it was to try not to see it as such a big deal and make light of my situation. I tried to do this with her and it just went terribly and she felt like I was belittling her reaction to it. Thinking back on it, I can definitely see how bad it came off even though it wasn't my intention. Her reluctance to communicate these things in general just compounds how bad I feel though.
I haven't heard from her yesterday or today despite sending her a long message explaining what my intention was and apologizing. I haven't been spamming her or anything because I'm sure she wants some space but I'm not sure if there's anything else I can do besides wait it out. Any advice?
TL;DR: | Unintentionally made fun of my gf's personal confession and not sure what else I can do besides apologize and wait. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by sweet talking my fiancé at a soccer game
POST: Hey guys,
My FU happened 2 days ago. For the past 3 years I have been the announcer at my roommates soccer games. He coaches boys high school varsity soccer. My job as the announcer is to read the starting lineups over the PA system, announce goals, and keep score. I do this by pushing down a button on the microphone and it comes in over the speakers.
Well on Wednesday, my roommates team was hosting regionals and I brought my fiancé to the game to watch with me from the press box. I should note that regional games are way more scrutinized than regular season games.
So I did the normal welcoming everyone to the game, national anthem, and announce both teams starting lineups. After this there are a couple minutes until the start of the game. Being that no one else is in the press box besides me and my fiancé, I start making out with her and telling her I can't wait to get back to the house to do things to her, etc, you get the drift. Well about a minute later the Athletic director for the high school come storming in asking what the hell we were doing-turns out that the microphone button got stuck down after I read the starting lineups. The whole stadium got to hear my talk dirty to my fiancé over the PA system.
We kindly got told that he would be keeping score for the game and should probably go home. Don't think we are getting invited back for tomorrow's championship game.
TL;DR: | announcing for my buddy's high school soccer game. Went with my fiancé, accidentally started talking dirty to her while the PA system was still on for the whole stadium to hear. Oops. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24 M] with my girlfriend [23 F] of 2 years, split because parents, I was going to propose this coming weekend.
POST: A little backstory. My girlfriend is from Hong Kong, we met at University in the Uk, we have been dating for 2 years now and 2 months ago my girlfriend went back to Hong Kong to visit her parents. She was always scared of telling her parents about us because she did not know what their reaction would be (Specifically her father). About a year ago she told her mother and she accepted it although may not have approved but was still yet to tell her father.
We had been living together for three months prio to her going abroad and were meant to be living together in a new flat come September. We had in the past spoken about marriage and the only wall was her father.
This weekend is her birthday and I had a surprise flight planned to go to Hong Kong for the weekend, had the whole evening planned out and was going to end it by getting down on one knee. However Friday(15th) her father found out about us and his reaction was intense. To keep it short he basically said it would be like he never had a daughter, now I know cultures are different but I'm really struggling to accept that he could just do that to his own daughter. This ended in her breaking up with me not knowing I was going to be flying out this week.
Im really struggling to deal with this but I don't want to ask her to just lose her family as thats not right, I love her to bits and I know she is my soul mate, before she went we were so madly in love. I'm just really struggling right now and am feeling so alone. I guess I'm just here for suggestions on what to do or to just talk.
TL;DR: | Chinese GF of 2 years who I was about to propose too broke up with me a week beforehand because her father. Really struggling to deal with it, just want to chat or take any suggestions. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskDocs
TITLE: Weird (very mild) concussion symptoms?
POST: 18/M/Phoenix 5'9
I posted here about a week ago about a hypoglycemic episode that led to fainting. I've never had this problem before, and while my symptoms are slowly improving, I've been experiencing a bit of vertigo since I fainted and hit my head.
EMS and ER both ruled out a concussion, but on Wednesday I started to feel very nauseous (no fainting) for about 30 minutes before I went to the on-campus clinic, where they ordered a bunch of tests from a different ER (blood/urine/EKG/chest X-ray), all tests came back good to go (trying to determine the cause of fainting, which I believe was heat exhaustion).
Only difference was both this ER and clinic diagnosed me with a mild concussion. I've been given a scoresheet to track my symptoms (score was 18 on Wednesday, around 6-7 most of today). I didn't complain of a headache so no CT scans were ran.
I've been noticing that when I overeat, I'm way more susceptible to nausea and dizziness than before the fall. I am still sensitive to heat as well despite increased efforts to hydrate.
I didn't develop a headache until 6 days after the fall, but this was also after blood tests. I woke up with a very slight one this morning, but slept through the night for the most part.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that aside from vertigo, I feel perfectly fine. I still feel a little out of it (ice cream helped somehow), but the vertigo stays and it's my main debilitation with my recent symptoms. Is this any concern or was the concussion so minor that I just have these weird symptoms sticking around but not a lot of common symptoms?
No sensitivity to noises or lights, no fever, barely any headaches at all, no sleeplessness, no personality changes. Just vertigo.
**I should also note that I do have a follow up for a fasting glucose test on Wednesday at the clinic and maybe a hemoglobin a1C test. Following up with a nutritionist 2 weeks from Wednesday as well. I have been regularly in the doctor's office for monitoring.
TL;DR: | I'm very responsive, only one headache related to blood tests and not the concussion, felt fine 5 days after the accident and then felt symptoms again, currently only dealing with slight vertigo mainly after eating (now 8 days later). |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit: Am I being spied on at work?
POST: This is a throwaway account for obvious reasons. I'm concerned that a new program installed in my computer by my supervisors is intended for other in my company to monitor how much time I'm spending on various tasks on the computer.
The program appears as an exclamation mark and is called "AdminAlert" - [screengrab here] - and when I quit it, it pops up again after 5-10 mins.
I talked to one of my bosses about it and he says it's installed on every computer in the system, so that IT can figure out how many are Macs, how many are running on such-and-such OS system, and so on and so forth.
But I have a sneaking suspicion that it's much more than that. How can I find this out? I'm running on OS 10.5.8. Thanks, guys.
TL;DR: | I think my work computer is being spied on by my bosses. How do I find out if that's the case? |
SUBREDDIT: r/GetMotivated
TITLE: [Story]Introvert + Mosh Pit...Not a good mix.
POST: First, a bit about myself - I'm a uni student who struggles with social interaction and hates big groups. I would much rather sit at home playing games, watching Youtube, or playing sport over any kind of social activity. I do enjoy my music, and have been to one concert in my life, which was a Foo Fighters concert. I loved it. I was sitting at the very back row of the seats, but it was the greatest, no-one around me, could just enjoy the music and the live performance without having to worry about people bothering me. Today I have a another concert, my second concert. However, this concert is only mosh pit - I'm really not looking forward to it...I've been dreading this day for a good week or two... To add more salt to injury, I have two assignments due today, one of which will definitely get done by tonight, but the other - I'm planning on submitting late and accepting the 5% late penalty (I mean, 5% to probably get an extra 10 or 15%, who wouldn't?). I've never submitted anything late in my life, so this feels super wrong and weird, but I'm committed. BUT, because of these, I need to take my laptop into uni today, and I have no way of getting my bag to a safe place before the concert, so I'm super stressed as to what to do with it... I don't want to take my big-ass laptop in my bag into a moshpit, I can't imagine it'ld turn out very well...
Oh well, today is going to be an interesting day... Best of luck to me.
Any suggestions to help me through the day? <3
TL;DR: | I'm an introvert going to a mosh pit potentially with a big laptop in my back pack. I can't see this ending well. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: More questions about dreams. What's the most fucked up/traumatic dream you've ever had?
POST: Last summer I dreamed I was at a party near the ocean. As the party was coming to an end, some of us decided to go nude-swimming. Somehow I end up skateboarding nude on the highway on my way to the water, but that's not the point here. There's about 200 meters of highway missing, and I fall on my back into the water. As I breach the surface, I feel that the ocean isn't filled with water, it's filled with Lion's Mane jellyfish. It's probably not that fucked up, but I've been scared of swimming at night ever since. Also, last night I caught a raven, and befriended it. When it left me, I tried catching a seagull, but it didn't want do be my friend. We got in a fight, and it ended up with me hitting my gf irl
TL;DR: | Dreamed that I fell into an ocean of jellyfish, been scared of swimming at night ever since. Also, I have weird dreams about birds |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20/F] feeling insecure while my boyfriend [19/M] is always calm and collected. How do I change?
POST: My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over a year now. He is very considerate and sensitive which is in stark contrast to my previous relationships. My ex boyfriend would flirt openly with people and ignore me at gatherings. Now when my boyfriend hangs out with his girl friends or brings me to things I get jealous and angry even though the way he talks to his friends is just friendly banter/ borderline flirting. I know he'd never cheat on me but it just bothers me that he'd even want to flirt with other people. He, on the other hand, is completely fine with me hanging out with my guy friends even ones I've previously had intimate relationships with. It's incredible and I don't understand it. He's also only been in one relationship so I guess he doesn't have the crazy past with him. To all those who have felt insecure how do you overcome it? I want to be better for him. I don't want him to be afraid of me being mad all the time because he doesn't deserve that. Also, breaking up is not an option I'd consider so please don't suggest that.
TL;DR: | I'm crazy insecure about my boyfriend interacting with any girls while he is okay with me hanging out with any guys. How do I get over my crazy? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [17M] Girlfriend [17F] of 9 months just told me she wants to be friends during the school year.
POST: So my girlfriend and I went through some rocky times and things have been normal again for a while but last night she told me she wants us to be friends for a while during our last year of highschool or until we are a little bit into the school year until she feels comfortable again. She's afraid of being distracted from her grades and afraid of being too busy to talk to me a whole lot. She promised we'd get back together, no doubt about it and I believe her. I have no reason not to trust her. I know for sure there is not another guy and I do fully believe her that she does plan to get back together again after our break of sorts. But I just can't really wrap my head around the idea. I don't understand why she wants to put me through all this pain and uncertainty for the time being. I just don't know what to think or feel and I know we'll either get back together soon or at the end of the year for sure but I just don't want to have to wait. I will because I love her. But it hurts me more then she realizes. I don't know why she is doing this. Has anyone been through something similar?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend wants to be friends for the school yeah and getting back together is certain. Why does she want this and how do I deal with the pain? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How can I learn to appreciate what I have in life? [22F]
POST: I have a big problem with not appreciating the things that I get for more than like 3 minutes, which results in me losing those things and then wanting them back.
Examples:
Big example: I went to college completely free due to scholarships, then failed out because I did not appreciate the opportunities I had, now I'm trying to go back at 22 because I need it to work in the field that I want. I also quit a very good, easy job at the same time...because I was bored. Years of struggle to find another job followed.
Smaller example: Lots of people complimented my skin (I never got zits or marks, it was a radiant tan/olive color, etc.), then I decided to use a skin lightener on it because I was into goth stuff for a while and wanted pale skin, but then the cream gave me zits and made me look washed out and uneven, so I had to wait for my original color to return.
TL;DR: | How can a person who has a habit of being ungrateful for what they already have, become appreciative and satisfied? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [19M] have feelings for my best friend [19F] and don't know how to approach it
POST: Throwaway for the standard reasons. I'm in second year university and I developed a crush on one of my better friends.
I'll try to give a bit of context. We were in the same dorm and on the same floor last year. We really connected quick and became pretty instant friends. She would often come to my room and just hang out. We kept in touch throughout the summer and have only grown closer since leaving the residence.
While we hangout quite often and meet up for lunch, she has only described me as a friend. Just this morning when asked by someone if we were dating she replied with "No, but we're best friends". So she really hasn't given me any signals, but I don't think she's the type of person who would show signals even if she did feel something.
My question is, how can I approach her about my crush without potentially destroying our friendship if she doesn't feel the same way? I don't want to just spring it on her because I don't want to put her in an awkward situation. I'm really at a loss about what to do.
TL;DR: | I need a way to tell my friend about my feeling for her without making it weird / making her uncomfortable / destroying our friendship |
SUBREDDIT: r/Pets
TITLE: I adopted a kitten and now my old cat hates me
POST: I have a three year old cat who used to be very social and loving and purry and meowed all the time, he was as much in love with me as I am with him, he followed me around always wanted to be with me, he slep on the corner of my bed... you get the idea.
Almost a month ago I adopted a 4-5 month old female kitten, I did almost everything by the book when I introduced them, I kept the kitten in a separate room for some days.
At first the cat was a little scared of the kitten and would do this low growl thing when looking at her through the window, this went on for a couple of days, and by the third day they were already playing through the window, so I carefully introduced them. They seemed to take to each other quickly and were playing together and grooming each other, sleeping in a bundle in no time...
The thing is my cat wants nothing to do with me ever since I brought the kitten home, the second day he actually scratched my face, he would never have done that before. I used to pick him up all the time (he was used to this and liked it) and know he claws my back when I pick him up, when I want to touch him he pulls away, when I enter a room he leaves, he comes to bed at night but if he notices I am awake he leaves immediately, he wants nothing to do with me, and in general seems kind of on edge all the time, his always been a jumpy cat but now he is very nervous and runs away at every sudden noise... I am concerned I might have ruined our relationship for ever, he likes the kitten a lot and so do I, but I am very sad and miss him, what can I do reddit?
TL;DR: | I have a three year old neutered male who used to love me up until I got a female kitten, he likes her a lot but wants nothing to do with me anymore, help me :( |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Trust issues and whether to confide or not
POST: Hi RA!
Me 24M, her 23F.
It is less about her and more about me - but still about relationships.
I'm a bit insecure and have trust issues from my relationship before and I don't want those issues to get in the way of a new one.
My ex ignored my plea for help when I luckily was misdiagnosed for cancer. In this time (about a week) I shut down completely and only stopped my self-loathing when I got the green light from the doctors. In consequence, I broke off contact with her. Even later I heard she was already seeing someone else in that particular timeframe and they got together not soon after.
It's a bit short but I think it hopefully outlines a bit of my background.
That was my first real relationship by the way, and it's been over 2 and a half years ago.
At first I stopped displaying my mood and instead put a smile on my lips but this gradually changed to a genuine smile and I think I'm a overall happier person now. It still pops up in my head from time to time but it's not that bad anymore.
Since then I've got to know some genuinely nice girls but I always ended up distancing myself from them after I learned they had a liking for me. I was simply to afraid that a new relationship would hurt me this bad once again.
Now I met this sweet girl and I feel safe and relaxed in her company in combination of being fed up with my own anxiety. She seems to like me too.:)
Regardless of whether this might blossom to a real relationship or not, I'm not quite sure whether or not to tell her I had this experience and to what detail. It is a part of me after all.
I feel like it might put pressure where it shouldn't be but it still is a burden that haunts me.
TL;DR: | Have trust issues from my former relationship, am afraid this might happen again. Don't know whether to talk about it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: When is tenancy legal, repost from r/ireland
POST: Hi guys hope you can help! I'm from Ireland and this is my situation.
Myself and my girlfriend were on the lookout for a new place to rent. Eventually we found a nice holiday house which was exactly what we were looking for, it's was right beside the beach and near some nice pubs and restaurants etc, all seemed good. We then met the potential landlords and we agreed that an 18 month lease would suit us and they seemed OK with that. We met them again at the potential house where they gave us a letting agreement to look over. A week later we met again, they gave us the keys to the house. this time they had changed the terms of the agreement to 6 months, added that we would have to pay property tax. They told us to have a have a look at the agreement over the weekend and get it signed by a witness.
We sent them a holding deposit of four weeks rent to secure the property, but after looking over the agreement we are just not happy with the terms and don't want to sign. Especially the fact they reduced the term to 6 months, which worries me that they plan on returning the property to a holiday home when summer comes around.
We made it clear to the owners that we have had a change of heart and we don't feel 100% about signing the lease. But now he claims that it doesn't matter, that the contract is valid because we were given access to the house. And that we are liable for the reminder of the lease.
Is this legal?? Can a oral contract be enforced, even though we were vocal with them about the issues we had, and we decided not to sign the written lease they gave us?
I have been researching this online but it seems like a very murky grey area we are in.
TL;DR: | landlord is claiming we entered a oral contract because he gave us keys to the house. Despite not signing our written tenancy agreement. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Should I extend my student loan repayment to help save for a house and/or contribute more to my IRA?
POST: Between my wife and I, we have fairly significant student loan debt (around $75k for me and $80k for her), which carry the standard 6.8% rate. With the normal 10 year repayment plan, it comes out somewhere around $1800+ a month in payments.
While we can afford this (I make a bit over 100k with a 8% incentive bonus), it certainly makes saving money more difficult, specifically saving up to make a down payment on a home. Right now we are renting a house, which in my mind is basically like throwing money down the toilet, not to mention missing out on the mortgage interest deduction. Furthermore, we have just started a family (had our first child last October) and would like to buy a house sometime in the next couple of years for non-monetary reasons as well.
In addition to this, I am currently contributing nothing to my IRA, and thus not taking advantage of the 80% matching of contributions up to 8% of my income, nor the tax deduction for making those contributions.
Thus, my question is whether it makes sense to extend the length of our student loan repayment (to 20 or 25 years) in order to allow us to save up, buy a house, and make these matching contributions? Doing so would significantly increase the amount of total interest we pay on the loans, and normally I am very adverse to having debt.
My instinct is to knuckle down and pay the loans off ahead of time, but that likely means putting off buying a house or contributing to my retirement for several years. However, I am starting to feel like my instincts are wrong here. What do you think?
TL;DR: | Is it worth paying far more on my loans in the long run in order to buy a house and contribute more to my IRA in the short run? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by letting a horrid fart out at my desk at work, and a co-worker loooved the smell
POST: So I got my usual coffee to banish the last vestiges of slumber and sat at my desk, feeling generally ok. I had a breakfast of yogurt and lots of almonds and walnuts and was feeling kinda full. As I sat down, steaming coffee in my hands, I felt a earth moving rumble in my stomach and tried to ignore it. It continued, and I kept shuffling in my seat. Eventually, a piccolo of flatus escaped, tiny sound but pungent aroma. Within a few seconds, my co-worker turns over to me and asks what that smell is. I freeze up, shamed and embarrassed. He says, "is that the coffee, it smells amazing...it smells like fresh hazelnuts" and proceeds to inhale deeply, several times. I have to work with him for the rest of my time here, and I can't really take him seriously anymore.
TL;DR: | let out a nutty fart at work and watched, in horror, as my co-worker inhaled the 'divine' aroma |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [34M] long distance boyfriend [31M] of ~2 years got drunk, had sex with someone, and immediately fessed up. Don't know what to do.
POST: I woke this morning to this text from my boyfriend "When you wake up, give me a call. I don't have happy news but I have to tell you what I've done." I called him, he sounded upset. He said he didn't know how to say it, took a breath, and said he had sex with someone last night. His roommate is recently single, and they went out to a club. There was some guy that they both knew. The roommate told the guy he should come back - I don't know why - the roommate doesn't drink and knows my boyfriend and I are in a committed relationship. The roommate is one of those people who instigates things and is the most self-centered selfish people I know. My boyfriend only lives there because the rent is so cheap. The guy came back to the apartment, and he and my boyfriend had sex (not just fooling around, but actual sex). I listened to him tell me this, breathed a bit in silence for about a minute, said "I gotta go" and hung up.
My boyfriend is a good man. He's smart, and caring, and he's kind to me. I love him. It's the best relationship I've ever been in and the kind of connection I always wanted with someone. We've talked about marriage and kids. It's been long distance almost from the start - he moves around so much for school and internships - but I fly out every other weekend or so to see him. We were just putting together details for a vacation abroad in August. He's never cheated on me before, or anyone else for that matter.
I don't know what to do. I'm just shocked at the moment and hurt. He's coming into town next weekend, so I know I have to figure out something, but I feel heavy and can't think. Does anyone have any advice? I know this happens to a lot of people all the time, but does anyone had a similar relationship where this has happened?
TL;DR: | In a good relationship. Boyfriend got drunk and cheated. He called me the next morning letting me know what happened. I could use some outside perspective. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: How do I tell my gf I don't want to move somewhere else with her?
POST: Been together for a year,(anniversary was a few days ago), both 28 and she's been wanting to leave the city we live in for a while, saying it's making her unwell as she gets very stressed in busy environments (which I totally understand). She's wanted to move across the country, saying before that she'd be moving with or without me. At the time of this (a few months ago) I had just started a new job which was pretty awful and I was almost liking the idea.
She's got a job secured already (existing company, different office) and is all ready to go. We're only really waiting on me to finish my lease of my apartment, then I can go.
Trouble is - I no longer want to. Whilst I still hate my job (which I haven't left, seeing as I was having to eventually leave when we moved) but the jobs in my sector just don't exist where we're going. Of the few possible jobs I have seen (and we're talking numbers you can count on one hand within the last 30 days, in a 30 mile radius) they are a *massive* paycut. I mean half my existing salary, which is comfortable. Where we currently live, there's lots of opportunity. I've recently turned into a bit of a grump with my job and don't want to move across the country, go into another job I hate and then begin to resent her for moving. I'm happy where I am (despite the crappy job, I can change that and almost did once when I got another job offer that I had to turn down since we were moving in a few months).
I really do love her and I don't want to keep her where we are as she's unhappy. I don't want to move though as I am worried I am giving up my entire career and having to start from scratch. I've tried to explain before but I get told I am just being negative about the job prospects. I don't think she realises it's very difficult, there's a recession and here in the UK, unemployment is the highest it's been in 15 years.
TL;DR: | love my girlfriend, she wants to move across the country to get out of the big city, I don't because there's no jobs for me there and I would be leaving my career behind. How do I tell her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU By Clogging 2nd floor toilet and shit leaking through light fixture in the kitchen
POST: First off, it was an older relatives house which I did not know very well. I was relaxing browsing reddit on my phone, all done, wipe, and flush. The toilet apparently could not handle the amount of paper on it due to it being from the civil war era. Water starts to spew out like a motherfucking volcano and thankfully no nasty shit is coming out of it, just water. I head to try and close that knob to the waterline on the toilet but hence it was an antique from the chinese empire it was rusted open which not even Superman and Hulks offspring could close. At this point I really start to freak the fuck out and started throwing towels by the door so the water wouldn't go trough. Then I heard this scream from downstairs that will haunt me for the rest of my life "WTF There is water coming out the lights!". Turns out the house is so old that the wooden floor between the roof of the first floor and the bottom of the second was a hole and water started to go down the godforsaken rusted knob into the kitchen roof. At this point I call my Grandpa for help and let him take over. He freaked out but then he started laughing about it once he stopped the water, As I headed towards the kitchen I see about 20 towels on the floor with a gigantic coleman cooler collecting the water dripping out the light fixture. At that point everybody started yapping at me asking me what happened and blah "Oh there is shit!" blah blah "The roof is about to fall!" blah "BUT ITS NEW!" BLAH BLAH. I sat down, pulled my phone out and took pictures.
TL;DR: | Clogged up toilet. Toilet water all over. Freak the fuck out. Water leaks downstairs. Ruins roof. Some of my shit falls through a light fixture.I take phone and snap pics. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me (22m) with my girlfriend (21f) of 1.5 years. Just learned we have completely different ideas about our relationships future
POST: So I asked my girlfriend of 1.5 years if she'd want to spend the weekend before college starts to go visit some of my family that she hadn't met. Seemed like an innocent enough offer. She tells me yes at first but then the next day tells me that she thought about it and decided that that would be "too serious" and that in her past relationships when things got that serious she ended them. She then went on to tell me that she doesn't want to be too serious. And that she loves me and wants to be with me but that she just doesn't want us getting any more serious.
I was really hurt by that whole conversation not as much because of not wanting to visit family (although after a year and a half I feel like that's not too fast of a gesture) but more because we clearly view our relationship completely different. I want to be with her forever. There is no doubt in my mind. I would do anything for her and she has now refused to even meet my family ( I should be clear this would be grandparent an uncle and a few cousins) so it just hurts to hear her say she doesn't want anything serious after we've had a committed relationship for a year and a half
If she still wants to be with me is it an issue if we think about our relationship so differently?
TL;DR: | girlfriend finds meeting family too serious and doesn't want to be serious. If I do want serious is this difference in opinion a big deal? |
SUBREDDIT: r/pettyrevenge
TITLE: Being rude and unhelpful? I'll email your manager...
POST: I normally work in a client facing role at my company, but as with most of the finance industry, quarter ends are a complete nightmare for us. Because our back office is so busy during a quarter end I volunteer to work over there for a couple days and work with back offices in other companies to process activity.
I had several discrepancies with a counter party and was working with several people to resolve them. One person(let's call him Joe) was helpful and responsive and we fixed the problem with a few emails.
Joe's coworker Mike was being really unhelpful saying he has already processed the request. There was no way for me to verify what he did until it went through several layers of processing on our side and I was working on a really tight deadline. I asked Mike if he could just email me a copy of what he did so I can process it and move on. Mike repeated that he already sent it and he wasn't going to do it again.
Well that really steamed my clams and I spent five minutes fuming and plotting my revenge. Then I noticed that on the bottom of his email it had a "questions or concerns? Please reach out to my manager" tag line with their contact info.
I spent another five minutes writing a really nasty email to his manager then I had a better idea. I checked and lo and behold Joe and Mike had the same manager. I deleted my first email and wrote a very nice email to their manager saying how much I appreciated Joe's help and that it really meant a lot that he was so quick and flexible during the busy time.
TL;DR: | Be rude and I won't complain to your manager who won't listen anyway, I'll write nice things about your team mates and hope he gets the raise. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Hello Reddit, I am writing a check to my ex-girlfriend and don't know what to put in the "reason" field...
POST: Backstory: My xbox stored her credit card information. I thought I had removed all CC information from my xbox, but I guess I was mistaken. Anyways it updated and sent me an email and I was baffled by this, but just figured one of my friends did it since I had recently hung out with friends and mentioned it had expired. Two months later I get this text message from my ex, who is very angry because I told her I removed her CC information, asking why Microsoft charged her $49.99. I told her I'd pay her back and she said she'd prefer me mail her a check. I told her I would oblidge (this was probably over two weeks ago). I wrote the check that day and it has been sitting on my desk ever since.
Now, normally when I write checks to friends or family I like to put in something silly and/or ridiculous into the "reason" field. A few of my reused favorites are "smuggling diamonds", "interior decorating", or "sexual favors". Now I don't want to just put in something silly and playful for this occassion due to her rudeness towards me since the breakup. What I'm looking for is something I can write that would make her be embarrassed to cash it. I want to have something that when she goes to the bank to put it into her account she thinks twice about just chalking up the $50 as lost and tear the check up. I am not hurting for money, so if she cashes it I really dont't care, this is really more out of principle/payback and I think it's funny. Here is the problem though:
I want to put something humorous, but I don't want to put something hurtful or degrading. I don't want to be a total dick. I want it to be cleverly daft, but not very vulgar, profane, or degrading. I am at a total loss and am pretty disappointed in myself for being unable to come up with something on my own. So, now, Reddit, I ask you for some genius!
TL;DR: | Need something clever to put on the "reason" field of a check that isn't vulgar that will make my ex NOT want to cash the check. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: GF [24/F] wants her very conservative, anti-pot family to come stay with us this summer for a vacation, but I [23/M] have 6 pot plants in my basement.
POST: My GF and I have been together for 2.5 years and have mostly a long distance relationship, other than over the summers, when she can come stay with me for 6 weeks on her summer vacation (HS teacher). I live in Colorado where it is now legal to have these 6 MJ plants and I really don't see any harm in having them or smoking pot. My GF and I are nearly 100% sure that telling them would lead to their immediate disapproval of our relationship which would be very difficult for her, as she is very close to her family, but she has no problem with my plants and pot smoking, she even partakes from time to time herself. Reddit, what do I do? Am I forced to get rid of my plants and one of my favorite hobbies to avoid conflict with her family? Or should I just go ahead and keep them and stand up for what I believe is right, despite the consequences?
TL;DR: | GFs family planning to come visit us, but they're anti-pot. Do I need to get rid of my plants? Or can I go about keeping the plants and having to face the wrath of their frustration of my hobby? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [28M] with my GF [28F] of 4 Months says we aren't connecting physically. What do I do?
POST: I've been staying with my GF of long distance for about 3 weeks and things are great as in we've been all lovey-dovey and so on. But sex hasn't been that great for her.. I still have some ED from watching a crap load of porn in the past (which I've cut out 2 months ago).
Anyway two days ago she tried to initiate sex with me and it didnt work out (I was tired and haven't really slept). Things got a little weird and we didnt really talk about it till today. Today she tells me that we are not physically connecting for the past month and she wants to cancel this road trip (that Im supposed to help her move across the country). I told her that if thats what she wants then maybe its a good idea. She back tracked and said that she is just being hormonal and we'll get through this.
But now its gotten into my head and I'm just troubled and worried.. I can't let go of the fact that she feels like she can't connect physically with me or isn't enjoying sex. She says that she is on her period and she is just over reacting.. except that she also told me that she felt very little physical connection for the past three weeks. I don't think I can touch her knowing that she isn't enjoying my touch. I feel fucking sick.
I am also worried that in my mind I've been thinking that things were really great and I finally found an amazing GF but only to realize that the feeling may not be mutual. I am thinking of packing my bags and leaving her apartment without telling her for the next couple of days so she can get some space from me (she's already been kinda distant and I can sense that she needs her space). I will be back to drive her across the country to help her move because I promised her but I dont wanna spend a single moment in her bed if she feels this way. Am I doing the right thing? Im pretty sure that this is gonna end soon.
TL;DR: | GF says we are not physically connecting but emotionally we are connecting well. I am thinking of breaking up with her to save the trouble for her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [16M] with my girlfriend [16F] for 3 months, have been in a bumpy relationship but I don't want to break up with her.
POST: My girlfriend and I have been dating for around 3 months, these past few months have just felt like a friends with benefits situation. At school I barely get time to talk with her because either A) she is always with one of her friends or B) she just isn't in the main area where everyone hangs out. We only get alone time on the weekends and we are usually fooling around and not talking.
Im an awful texter but I am really making an effort text her more, its hard for me but I am managing to do it. Even then she barely responds to me and it just saddens me that we do not talk as much.
So today I finally grew some balls and I said we are having lunch together alone and are talking. We mainly talked about what we want from each other. I told her that I want something more serious and stable. She said that she wants something less serious because she said that she does not have the time or the emotional capability to have something serious. I told her that I will slow down for her. She just seems like she has her mind made up. Though that may just be my crazy mind
I really care about her and my friends make it obvious that I have more feelings for her than she does for me. She is a really important part of my life and I don't want to loose her, but I want something more serious and stable which she isn't able to provide.
Should I break up with her? or should I try and make it work and see if she will eventually change? Any advice would be great :)
TL;DR: | Girlfriend and I have bad communication skills and both want different things. Though I care about her too much to break up with her but she is not making me happy |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [16 M] need help dealing with a potential partner [15 F] moving away.
POST: This girl joined my school in the middle of the semester and she was pretty much the talk around the hallways. Everyone wanted to learn more about this mysterious and beautiful girl that came from another school, including me, but I couldn't do nothing but watch her because I was in a serious relationship with someone else.
But more or less a month ago, I got out of that relationship, so now I am pretty much free to go out with anyone I want to. Last week, this new girl added me on the social networks and liked a few old posts of mine. In that moment I knew that she wanted something. So I managed to get her number we started to exchange text messages.
She mentioned something about moving away really soon but I did not give attention to it. To be honest, I didn't really care, because I thought that just a date would do no harm. But unfortunately, it did.
We went out on Thursday, watched a movie, talked, kissed, and had a great time together. It was so good that she asked me out again on Friday (yesterday), and we went out again. Yesterday we spent pretty much the entire day together, and I am completely amused by this girl.
She is not only beautiful but also incredibly intelligent, charismatic, super confident and sweet at the same time. She is amazing in every single aspect of the word. I feel like there was some sort of 'special connection' between us, and it is something that doesn't happen quite often. It is not common to have such strong feelings for other people in so little time, but it happened, and I belive it was mutual.
She is moving to another state today. To be more precise, she is taking an 8 hours trip in this second, as I write this.
I am being unable to handle the pain and frustration of this sudden loss, because even though we've only known each other for a week, I saw a lot of potential in her and I think that we could be something more. But I will probably never see her again. All I have left of her are the memories, a few pictures we took together, and a flu.
TL;DR: | I am falling in love with her and I have absolutely no idea on what to do. Should I stop texting her and erase her from my life completely? How can I deal with this huge frustration? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [18/M] how to support a girlfriend who was raped and cope with it myself.
POST: I'm an 18 year old male, about to start dating a girl. However, she recently told me of one event, about four years ago, when someone she knew as an acquaintance (same age as she is) pulled a knife on her and raped her. It hurts me to think about, and brings forth an array of emotions that I don't really know how to deal with. However, I really care about her and want to to whatever I can to help her, but I also want to make sure I'm not leading myself into an emotional trap by going into this relationship. She says she doesn't really remember the whole thing all that well, and that she tries to think about it as little as possible. Since she is still a minor, we're waiting on intimacy until her birthday, so that isn't what I'm concerned about. I've come to Reddit seeking answers for my questions, and to help me get a better idea of how to be a supportive boyfriend. Can we have a normal relationship? How can I let her know I am there for her? Will she be sexually and emotionally closed off, or, with time, will she learn to trust that I'm not going to hurt her? I just don't know what to think of the whole thing, and I'm hoping that Reddit can help me.
TL;DR: | Girl I want to be in a relationship with was raped, and I want to know how to help her and myself. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Wildest experience?
POST: I went to an underground party in downtown New York (will not say where or when). It was in a flat owned by someone I met randomly on Tinychat a few months ago and with whom I corresponded. I'm a very fatalistic person. You can see where this is going.
So 12AM and I'm getting kind of hazy after six rounds of vodka. Turned out the last one was dosed with what I now think was LSD, but whatever it was, I became extremely paranoid and thought I was in Hell. While this was going on, a guy at the party who was also either high or mentally ill started arguing with the host incoherently. I guess he had the cocktail as well.
The next few hours were a blur, but I woke up in an alley short $300 dollars and a credit card. YAY!
TL;DR: | go to party hosted by dude met on tiny-shat, get drugged, wake up in alley with money stolen. What was your wildest/most fatalistic experience evar? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [19 F] have really string feeling for my boyfriend [20 M] but he doesn't feel the same.
POST: I met my boyfriend at the beginning of this school year at university. I immediately took a liking to him and we started dating not long after. Our relationship is great. We are pretty different people but we make it work and are generally really happy with each other.
Recently, I noticed that he never smiled around me anymore and I brought it up in conversation. He admitted to not having particularly strong feelings towards me but wanted to make it clear that he still cared about me and wanted to at least stay friends. We decided to not see each other for a week and decide on where to go from there.
I have strong feelings towards him and if at all possible I would like to stay together with him, but I am happy with just being friends. There is no animosity between us and I still think he's a great guy. Have any of you ever dealt with something like this and if so, how did it turn out?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend doesn't feel the same way I feel about him, but he still cares about me. Should we keep trying or simply try to be friends? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me (21f) with my ex (21m). Together 2.5 years, broken up 3 months. Considering getting back together, but found out he's seeing someone else. How do I deal?
POST: Hi guys,
Really struggling with things at the moment, and I really just felt the need to get the perspective of those not close to the situation. I guess I just need to vent..
Essentially, we broke up 3 months ago after 2 and a half years together, living together for the last 7 months of that. To cut a long story short, we had a mixture of trust issues stemming from fidelity issues on his behalf from the beginning of the relationship, which at times caused quite a strain on our relationship. Other than this problem, which we acknowledged was a big one, we were best friends, enjoyed each other's company immensely, had a great sex life and were genuinely happy.
We mutually broke up, and I've been struggling ever since. It's so hard to watch someone walk out of your life, especially when they were such a big part of it and meant so goddamn much to me. We spent the majority of our free time together when we weren't busy with work, study or friends, and we just click. We were in love.
I've been missing him so much and have been considering giving it another go with him, if we could agree to work through our issues together. But I've just found out he's seeing another girl now and it's hit me like a ton of bricks. I understand if he wants to move on and see other people, but fuck. It hurts.
Basically, how do I deal with this? The thought of him with someone else, most importantly on an emotion level, makes me almost physically sick.
TL;DR: | boyfriend of 2.5 years and I broke up 3 months ago. Considered giving it another shot. Found out he's seeing someone else. Feels. How do I cope? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (18M) having trouble moving forward a potential relationship with a girl (19F) in my class.
POST: I was in a relationship at the start of this years university semester and i knew it was nearing its end. Then came along this girl in my italian class and bam.. I can firmly say that love at first sight is true. I've been talking to her and laughing with her, but the problem is i only see her once a week and I don't have her number in which I can text. I am very shy to ask for it because I've never done that. We also walk to the subway station after class together and we go opposite ways. Although I could go her way but takes much longer. So reddit please tell me how i can get her number, talk to her without being dull.
TL;DR: | met a girl that im head over heels for and need to know how to pursue this relationship with the very limited time I actually see her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dogs
TITLE: My dilemma
POST: Hey guys,
I want to adopt a dog in the next few weeks. I live in an appartment for now, but i'll be moving in a home with a big yard pretty soon. I'd like to get a puppy after that.
The dilemma is this one: I know I should get a dog from the shelter/spca/rescue group. I know these dogs need a 2nd/3rd chance with a good family. I also know there is a lot more good dogs than good families. For that reason, I would feel kind of ashamed to 'buy' a dog from a dog breeder. No one can argue the fact that there is a worldwide pet overpopulation problem. But still, breeders are breeding more litters than there are homes and they are selling them to make money.
Trust me, I would love to help a dog to get a good family. But there is few reason why i am not sure what to do:
First, I'd like a puppy. I work from home and have plenty of time to take care of one. Shelters in my area all full of adult dogs and very few puppies.
Second, I'd like to train my new dog from a very young age, have him meet a lot of people and dogs for a good sociolazation. I asked a lot of question at my local sherlter and they pretty much never know the backgrounds of the dogs there. I know if I get a puppy and i'm not able to train him properly, it is my fault. But if I get an adult, I wouldnt be able to be 100% sure it's my fault because we never really know what the dog have been through.
Finally, after a lot of research about dog breeds, I would like to get an australian shepherd. I've search all shelters 200km around and cant find one. I think I could change my mind about this if it was only that, tho.
So anyway, this is it, i hope you get the picture. Idk what to do.
TL;DR: | rescue vs breeder, i wouldnt be proud of myself, but adopting from a breeder looks like the safest option :( |
SUBREDDIT: r/needadvice
TITLE: a company for which I work has proposed a method to make more money: a pyramid scheme
POST: This is not a shady company, but one of the leaders in home education, for which I work as a freelance teacher. They send me students that fit my profile (secondary schools maths, physics), and I get paid 48% of what they charge the families.
But now they have started a new strategy, in which I am invited to participate. If accept, I would be paid 50% of the revenues, plus 30% of the remaining margins. What margins are these? I will explain: I must find and hire at least 3 more teachers that would work under my supervision and responsibility, but the company would continue to look for students and paying everyone, in addition of all the paperwork. They (the teachers under my control) will get the 50% like me, but from the other fifty, I take the 30% from all classes taught by them. However, these teachers must also find and hire a minimum of 3 teachers, like me. This is a pyramid from which I, at the summit, get diminishing returns from all levels under my control. But if they fail or I do not succeed to maintain a minimum of 3 working teachers, I lose that the status and I return to the 48% standard.
I do not have to take risks or to invest my money, but this is a classic pyramid, designed to fail after a few months, when the base teachers are unable to find his three extra teachers, or is impossible to find students for everyone.
What should I do? if I do not accept, I can continue with my usual contract, but I fear that the new arriving students will be diverted to "more involved" teachers.
Note: I know I would be at the summit because I am invited directly by the director of the company, not by another teacher.
Note 2: And I really can not understand why a working, profit-making company, has implemented this strategy.
Note 3: I am sorry for my bad, bad english.
TL;DR: | a company I work for has decided to implement what basically is a pyramid scheme. I don't risk my money, only my time. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [20/M] Caught in a Polygon of potential relationships. Advice Reddit?
POST: So, I met a wonderful woman [19/F] whilst doing an outdoor activity that we both enjoy. Originally, she said that we should go grab dinner when we were done. Had a great time with her, and after that we hung out a few more times on occasion, including more dinners and "friend dates" of the like. As of late, however, we have not had the chance to see each other for about a week. Lately, I was informed that another friend of mine [21/m] also has feeling for this person, and ha has only spent time with her on a few occasions. I haven't made much contact with her since, as it is exam season, and I am really confused on how to proceed. Reddit, I have three questions for you:
1. How to I Re-Initiate conversation after a week lul?
2. Should I treat the situation any differently considering my friends involvement?
3. How to I make it clear to her that my intentions are to begin dating her/Ask her out?
TL;DR: | Known girl for month, haven't talked to her in about a week BC exams, and strange dynamic with personal friend sharing feeling for her. What Do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Unsure how to feel about GF
POST: Ninja edit; english is not my first language, and i also wrote this on a phone so sorry for any misspellings.
Using throwaway because of friend that knows my acc. And don't want to "air my dirty laundry"
So, my(19M) gf(17) of 3 months went on vacation ~beginning of july, with her mom. By this time we had just started getting serious in our "relationship" not gf/bf yet, but working our way there. literally the evening she stayed at the airport hotel, when i called her, i told her that we "were closing in on a relationship" (not english, doesn't translate well what i want to say) and she agreed if you wanna call it that.
She then left and we talked each day, as per usual, and she got to know 2 girls and 1 guy from roughly the same area we live in.
The last day she was down there she sneaked out on her mom (wasn't allowed) to go out clubbing with her aquaintences, this she told me.
And when it got late and she wanted to go home, the guy, of course, offered to walk her home, she told me this also.
When she got back home and we just started talking about her trip, she said all the things i said she did, and also joked about fooling around with him.
This wasn't unusual for her so i didnt think too much about it, other than she had a sort of half joking/half serious tone. So i asked her if she actually did anything, and she said no.
Aaaand to the point of this post, the other day she told me that they did sleep toghether, but that it was awquard and short lasting, and no pleasure for her. Also that she didnt understand why she did it...
So people of /r/relationships, i want your advice on how to act on this, i feel... hurt, maybe even a little betrayed. I want to state that i love her very much, and have no intention of breaking up with her, seeing as i get the best feeling for a long time in my life when i spend time with her.
TL;DR: | GF went on vacation with her mom, got to know some people, and slept with a guy (please read 3rd last paragraph) |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [21M] girlfriend [19F] of over 1 year wants our long-distance to become a (temporary) open long-distance relationship. I'm not sure.
POST: We can only see each other every few months for a short time. We are very open with each other and we communicate well. She is travelling to America in a few months and she said she would like my permission to be 'free' (have sex with other men/women) during her time there. This would go both ways.
However, there's a fundamental difference for us: She can separate sex from love, I can't. I can't become romantically interested in someone unless I befriend them and spend some time together. I also need an emotional/intellectual connection in order to 'perform', which typically leads to relationships (something which we are not talking about in this 'arrangement').
So realistically, she wants to have sex with other people, but I won't do anything.
I don't know if I can be comfortable, or feel the same way about her when we meet again, knowing that she has done other things with other people. She doesn't know if she wants to be in the relationship if she has to remain monogamous. This is something which she said she planned on doing before she met me, so she is adamant that she wants to go through with it. We communicate very well and I am pleased that she even asked me about this, but I don't know how to proceed.
Do I let her sleep with others and hope we'll both still feel the same (and that she doesn't fall for somebody else over there)? Do I refuse her request and hope she doesn't break up with me? (She said she doesn't know what will happen if I refuse) Do I turn a blind eye to it?
One further thing: There's no way to know if she would like to continue this open relationship when she returns to her own country, making the chances of a relationship forming happen, making me more uncertain.
TL;DR: | GF wants LDR to become open LDR. I am scared of this. Do I allow/refuse this request? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: So, I (20M) recently entered a committed relationship with one of my close friends (20F) and things are going well. Only issue is her last relationship was abusive and I've never had to deal with this before - so I'm lost.
POST: We were very close friends for a long time and she never opened up much about her past relationship (1.5 years ago) until recently she detailed some their abusive relationship.
He seemed to give her a pretty hard time mentally and also got physical with her at times. I've never been with a girl with this type of past so I don't know how to react to some things and neither does she.
I am a very affectionate and loving person and she is the complete opposite. She seems to apologize a lot and she also seems to feel like I'm upset with her even when I'm not. She also is very secretive, even about little things that dont even matter. I dont think its that she hidws thesw things on purpose, i think she is just used to doing it. I feel like all of these things are because of her last boyfriend.
So I came here to ask you guys, how can I better accommodate her? She doesn't really know how to be in a healthy and open relationship
TL;DR: | Gf doesn't know how to be in a healthy relationship, I don't know how to accommodate for a girl with this type of past |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [32f] wants to know how to balance my giving personality so I don't appear to be a push over.
POST: I've always had a very loving and giving personality. I genuinely care about people and if I can help their lives to be how they want I will. I would say I don't have any opinions.. because I have lots. I do only what I want to and what makes me happy. But sometimes I think I come across as someone who is too much a pushover or just too willing to give up my desires for someone else's.
I still am not sure I'm portraying myself right. But I've just been thinking about my personality and my friendships, relationship, and past lately. I want a healthy balance of being a giver yet not appearing to be easy or a pushover that someone can just use to their advantage.
I know I've grown a lot and I've understood my downsides so it can only get better from here. I don't let people walk all over me because honestly I just don't associate myself with those type of people anymore. Usually those around me are also very giving in nature.
So if your like me how do you balance this type of personality? I don't want to give it up as its who I am. But I am curious how to improve. Do you just do more of what you love? Do you just add more opinions to your day? What's something I can do to gradually improve and balance myself out so people see my leadership skills more than my follower skills in groups Lol sometimes I'm too independent that I don't work well in groups.
And I've really been interested in psychology and human behavior. Its interesting how our personalities do affect our behaviors. But I also know we can train our behaviors to be more balanced or improve upon ourselves.
TL;DR: | What can I do to gradually improve taking a more active role in my friendships? How do I show people I'm not a pushover/follower but one who can lead while still keeping my giving personality. |
SUBREDDIT: r/needadvice
TITLE: I don't think I should talk to my mom anymore.
POST: Backstory :
My parents had me young. They've both been alcoholics and drug addicts for most of my life. My parents split before I was born. I lived with my mom most of the time, saw my dad for a week maybe twice a year.
Fast forward to now. I'm an adult (23 y/o) completely self-sufficient. I've never had to ask for money or any sort of help or aide since moving out two and a half years ago. The only help I get from my parents is I'm on my mom's insurance plan. Other than that, I talk to my dad maybe twice a year and my mom maybe once a month.
I've realized the following :
- My mom seems to avoid my phone calls. I'll call her house and cell, and text her, but the phone goes unanswered. This wouldn't be a problem if it weren't *every single time I've tried calling*.
- She obviously favors my brothers. My middle brother is in prison and she makes the 45-minute drive once a week to give him shampoo, but I have to twist her arm to get her to spend time with me on my birthday.
- I own my own business and have done so successfully, as my sole source of income, for two years. She still asks if my boyfriend, who has a desk job, can get me a "real job".
- She'll make plans, birthday lunches or the like, and 80% of the time flake out and cancel, with poor excuses.
- She's never outwardly mean but she makes jokes, comments, remarks that can't be taken as anything but insulting. If I react, she'll tell me to lighten up.
Despite all this, I still get nervous when I know I'm going to see her, because I want to impress her, to become valid in her eyes somehow. The more I think about cutting off contact with her, even temporarily, the more I'm convinced this will be a huge weight off my shoulders.
TL;DR: | My mom is really not a good lady and I've realized her prescience in my life is making it difficult. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25 M] with my siblings [16F, 15M] , I'm getting really fed up with my siblings and don't know how to cut them out of my life
POST: My 1/2 sister and 1/2 brother are both turning out to be absolute pains in the ass and I really don't like them. I have a great relationship with my dad [50ish) and stepmom[40ish] but the kids they have produced are beyond bad.
Added to this dad keeps leaving me responsible for them when he and my stepmom jet off to yet another location. It's becoming unbearable and the stress is starting to affect my work and sanity.
I moved out last year to give me more space but I get texts from dad saying we've popped down to [skiing location/beach house/europe] keep an eye on "Jake" and "Sally". They have a full-time housekeeper and staff at the house but as soon as dad has gone they act like the rich kids of Instagram with massive parties using the place like a nightclub. It's always me that ends up getting called out by the police and having to sort it out.
Last time he did it I texted back that I was also out of town but I got the blame for the mess they left as I go back before mom and dad and didn't sort it out.
Dads business manager has refused to deal with it anymore and his housekeeper is threatening to quit. Dad is away on business this time so short of having them thrown in jail (for which I would not be thanked) I'm stuck.
What do I do?
TL;DR: | Brother and sister are running wild while parents are away. How do I not be responsible for the mess they cause? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I think the reality of the adult world finally hit me... has it hit you yet?
POST: 20/f. I just need to get this off my chest. I just recently started a job about a month and a half ago. I just finished school in the middle of April, and then started working roughly 30 hours a week.
Lately, since its been busy, I have been pretty much working 40 hours a week and finally getting a taste of what its like to work a full time job. I currently work at a fast-food restaurant since I am working towards my B.A. in order to get a better job, and to be honest... I am not looking forward to living on my own and having a job that I work 8 - 5pm every day... I honestly am not. I do find I tend to not think about the positives... I just can't think any of working 40 hours a week and trying to survive and its frustrating me.
Is there any positives about growing up and becoming an adult? Or if there are even jobs that I would like that are irregular and aren't repetitive. I am going for my BA in Philosophy... so I am not sure if that helps. I just want to be able to look on the positive side of growing up and becoming an adult...
TL;DR: | I can't think of too many positives of growing up and becoming an adult because I just think there is not enough time to do anything and reality has finally hit me. 20/f |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25 M] with my landlords [50s M/F], am I being too much of an asshole?
POST: I moved into a room with a contract that goes month-to-month after a certain duration without sufficient research now my room mates and landlords (and apparently tenants too teens/20s F) are annoyed at me for getting up early with multiple alarms and showering, waking them all up. I understand this since I've dormed during college, but I told them when my work started and that I wake up early. I am not willing to risk being late to work at all.
My landlords have asked me to be more quiet, and I'm willing to get rid of my earliest alarm, but not considering changing my showering habits (I share the bathroom with 2 room mates when I was told I would be sharing with 1).
I want to move out when my contract goes month to month because I want my own bathroom, but I am obligated to stay by contract for now. I am not allowed to sublet, but the other room was rented to 2 people, something I wasn't offered or alerted about on the ad or when I came to check the house out.
There are a lot more details but most of them are irrelevant. I'm generally very passive and simply ignore complaints. I am very willing to let slights and mild annoyance go. I've been very uninvolved with the other dwellers.
TL;DR: | Dispute over me waking the house up, I don't particularly care at this point in time due to bathroom sharing constraints and work, am I being a huge asshole? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: m[21] too scared to brake up with my girlfriend I don't love because I'm scared she'll brake mentally down if I do.
POST: So we've been together for 8 months, and the relationship had a bit of a bumpy beginning, but thats not really relevant I think. But I can tell that she really loves me (she's 18 btw), and she insists on spending time together almost every day, and she gets really upset, when I say, i want some time for my self.
Everytime we hit a rough patch, and we talk about it, she cries, and tells me she's so afraid of me leaving her. She tells me, she can't go on if I leave her, and that it is her biggest fear.
I feel stuck, but I guess i'm too scared to end the relationship, and i need advice on how to get out of it, I guess. Are there anyone who's been in a similar situation or something like that. I would really appreciate any advice!
Sorry for the bad english, it isn't my first language!
TL;DR: | I'm too chicken shit scared to brake up with my girlfriend, because i'm afraid she'll brake mentally down if I do. Any help on getting out of the relationship would be greatly appreciated! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I [18M] get my feelings across to my GF [18] without making her feel bad/cry?
POST: I have been with my girlfriend for about a year already. We're doing great and everything, there just seems to be a little problem. Sometimes I feel like there's some things she does that I don't really like and whenever I try to tell her she breaks down crying and feeling sorry for herself which then makes me feel bad about even bringing up the subject. For example the other day I was feeling extremely sad and needed someone to talk to, I called her up and texted her a few times but never got a response. I told her the next day about how I really needed her but she wasn't there for me and that caused her to break down crying which made me feel bad. So how do I get my feeling across without her feeling bad and causing the attention to shift to me taking care of her? I hate to see her cry and feel bad but I also need to be able to get my feeling out. Sorry for the wall of text
TL;DR: | I hate to see my GF feel bad/ cry so how do I tell my girlfriend about what I see wrong without her feeling sorry for herself or start crying? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (15M) suspect my good friend (15M) has inferiority complex and is taking it out on me
POST: Context: Last year, I looked like an average teenage boy with an awful haircut and bad hygiene but was good friends with Tom (fake name). Back then, I was pretty happy with out friendship and we never had any problems. At the end of the year during a 1.5 month long school break, I started working out, got a good haircut and basically just got all my shit together, which I assume made me more attractive (sorry if this sounds cocky).
This is where the problem comes in. I've been friends with Tom, who is a vainpot, for 3 years and I guess the new me made him feel a bit insecure, which I understand fully. However, his feelings has escalated to a point where he resorts to physical and verbal means to reestablish his attractiveness (?). He does stuff like violently mess up my hair and pass comments like 'his arms are big but mine are more defined', 'ew why is your stomach so soft', 'i dont like the way your hair looks', 'ew you have dandruff', 'your p**** is small', usually where other people can hear him. Many of these statements are false and/or due to his ignorance of how things work. I should also add that one thing he is most likely jealous about is that I am tall for age here while he is on the short end of the spectrum, which I know for sure because he constantly gets defensive and upset if I mention my height even non-insultingly and he has asked other people why they are tall.
He is also a fond gossiper and has talked to shit about other people to me. Other than that, he is otherwise very friendly and seems to think of me as one of his best friends. His statements are always masked as jokes or burns but I always see through his words through his body language and facial expressions.
Him and I are a part of a very close-knit group of friends who always hang out together and stuff, making and sort of breaking contact with him very difficult. I am also non-confrontational due to social anxiety and have no idea what to do in this case.
Any advice? Thanks in advance.
TL;DR: | Friend has ego issues and puts me down regularly. How do I deal with this in a way that will not affect our common group of friends and preferably being non-confrontational? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [26m]y friend fought m25e for unfollowing his Facebook page. I need to make him understand his mistakes
POST: This is one of my best friends. I enjoy my time with him, however, if he gets upset, he becomes unbearable.
The problems started 2 years ago when I started dating my gf. For whatever reason, my relationship wasn't that healthy, which caused problems with him as well. Since then, if something that makes him upset happens, he gets aggressive. However, he expects, I should be fine with that. If I stop talking to him or do not want to visit him, or call him, he blames my girlfriend.
To be fair, the problems with my girlfriend lasted for around 6 months, and I did let my girlfriend control me for a while. However, we saw a psychologist and we worked on it. I accept that I have made mistakes in dealing with both my friendship and my relationship with my girlfriend.
The problem is that he always thinks he is right. Although many problems happened he fails to understand that his escalating behavior which stems from strong feelings of anger (sadness, fear, depression? ) is a problem. He had this for as long as I knew him, whenever someone is about to leave his life, he freaks out and becomes a very unpleasant.
He would argue with me for hours, just to confirm his ideas and his theories about why I did what and why I fought with him.
This kind of behavior made me put a huge distance between me and him, because nothing else worked. He still asks why I don't talk to him often, visit him, or the last "discussion" was why I don't follow him on Facebook.
TL;DR: | As a summary, my friend only sees his point view of any problem, and cannot accept my point of view, which leads to further problems. How can I get him to understand? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Has someone ever told you they weren't ready for a relationship, then actually come back when they WERE ready? M/28
POST: I've been seeing this guy for 2 months. We are both in our twenties. He pursued me and showed tons of interest. After a while, when I started pushing things to the next level, he got overwhelmed and he told me he wasnt ready to jump into another relationship (he got out of a 18 month relationship 2 months before we started dating - his ex screwed him over).
I realised he overestimated his ability to commit. We kept seeing eachother, without benefits this time - as we loved spending time with eachother. But I realised he cant learn who he is alone if he continues seeing me, so I ended it - and he got upset.
We now have a mutual agreement to give eachother space and time, so we are not in contact at the moment. I told him it will help sort things out, and he said he agreed, this is what he said... "At every point I told you about strings, monogamy and then not being ready for a relationship I have been telling you how i feel and the total truth. I could definitely get into a relationship right now but I would not be sure if it's because I'm truly ready or if it's because I'm just used to being in one. I definitely like and respect you and think you're great. I figured the time we spent without benefits made that obvious. I agree, space will be good and I definitely don't want to cut you from my life. But space will help sort things out" - the monogomy is in reference to him telling me he didnt want to sleep with anyone else. and he wasnt seeing anyone else while we were dating. We were very intimate. Talked every single day, which he initiated.
TL;DR: | He definitely liked and respected me. He got out of a LTR 2 months before we dated. I told him he needs space to sort things out. He agreed, said he dosent want to cut me out of his life. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: My college is taking me to court over a $15k debt. Lawyer suggested bankruptcy.
POST: Well, this is it.
I have a ~$15,000 debt owed to a school (U.S., Illinois). Note: it is **not** a student loan. Anyway, the debt has gone to collections, for which I couldn't realistically pay for. I forgot about it for awhile until now when I received a summons to go to court over it. The school (plaintiff) vs. me (defendant). I have about $750 to my name, and rent is coming due in a few days.
I contacted an attorney because I've never been given a summons before. His suggestion was to file for bankruptcy.
I really don't want to file for bankruptcy because I am young, and my fiancée and I are to be married in a few months. Getting apartments (or eventually a house), will be next to impossible with a bankruptcy on my record.
I guess I'm just looking for some advice. Should I contact the school, despite their collection agency having not gotten any money out of me? Or just I just call it quits and contact a bankruptcy lawyer?
TL;DR: | Owe $15,000 to a school. School is now taking me to court over it. I have no money. Lawyer suggested bankruptcy. Thoughts? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Update: My [25 M] wife [24 F] of less than a year wants space.
POST: About two or three weeks ago I posted here: and got some very helpful advice.
Fast forward to now and a lot has changed. We ended up separating and Last weekend was the first time I saw her properly and things were very civil between us; I'd even go as far as saying we had a nice time together. It made me realise just how in love with her I am.
There were a few very emotional moments; she admitted that she had taken advantage of me but said she needed time to sort her head out because she doesn't want to "string me along" or pull me back to push me away again.
She says she still loves me and misses me but that she cannot commit to a relationship while she has so much in her head (loss of parent and close grandparent among other things).
I'm trying to stay friendly with her, as we've both agreed not to rule anything out, but every time I talk to her I feel like she is talking to me as a friend and I'm desperate to tell her how much I love her and want her back.
I go to bed every night and usually end up crying myself to sleep (yes I know that makes me sound stupid, but it's true) and quite honestly I am not sure what to do.
The last message I sent her (about an hour ago) was a long the lines of I can't keep texting because all I ever want to do is tell her I want it all back and it keeps upsetting me. We haven't spoken since.
I have tried talking to other people and actually got close to someone but I called it off as it was really unfair to do that knowing I'm still in love with someone else and I don't want to hurt anyone. But I'm completely at a loss for how I'm going to move on from my wife and I don't know how many more nights, of crying myself to sleep, I can cope with before I go insane.
TL;DR: | me and wife separated and i am really not coping well. No idea what to do with myself and how to stop getting upset. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: My BF (29/m) has had well over 100 sexual partners including many people that I (27/f) and I can't get over it.
POST: EDIT:Oops my bad in the title. Including people that I know.
My boyfriend has had a disgusting number of sexual partners and it seriously grosses me out. It makes me less attracted to him. But I've known him for years and I knew that, and it's been something I'm keeping under control because I know that we can't change it, and I either need to get over it or get out. But what erks me is I keep finding out about so many girls that he's screwed that I KNOW. People that I didn't know he slept with before we got together. This is seriously bothering me and I haven't been able to get over it. For example, I just moved hours away from my family and friends to be with him, including giving up a job. Sure enough, my only friend in the area were we live has a best friend (who goes to all the events I would go to with my only friend here) and I found out he fucked her, too. It's like, who hasn't he had sex with? Jesus. Anyway, I pretty much trust him and he hasn't given me a reason not to trust him. I probably have my own trust issues that it's not fair to take out on him, but hey, who doesn't?
I know all the I need to deal with it crap and I get that, but it's not working. I don't want my relationship to end over this, but I'm so sick of finding out all the people he's slept with that I know. Any advice from people that have been through this?
TL;DR: | BF was a HUGE man whore and I keep finding out about girls that I'm friends/acquantences with that he's slept with. Not feeling sexually attracted to him anymore and having trouble moving on. ideas? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Possibly abusive last relationship is affecting this one. How should I approach this?
POST: Both twenty one year old, male and female. We'd been getting close for the past few months but this girl was always quite closed with her emotions / shut off -- I told her how I felt about her, but she could never bring herself to do the same. After a drunken night out she told me how she felt about me and she got quite upset that she couldn't put her feelings out there, said that her past boyfriend had tried to hit her and that since then she's had trust issues. I've got a feeling there may be more to it, though.
Fast forward a few weeks and with this all in the back of my mind I asked her out, she said yes and we've been together for about two weeks now. The first week was great, exactly what I was expecting -- the whole cheesy hand holding, looking forward to seeing one another, but within the past few days she's become really quite removed -- downplaying compliments, being quite cold towards me. We had quite a frank talk last night with one another, in which she said she was having problems letting people in lately and that she knew that she'd been cold towards me and probably hadn't been the best girlfriend to me. I replied saying that I wouldn't have asked her out if I wasn't trying to make it work. It's disheartening to put in 100% effort and get 10% back; it's leading me to fear that she's purposely trying to destroy the relationship because she realizes she's not ready for one. Also, I think I may have been naive to think that by saying "yes" to asking her out that she'd accepted me in and could trust me. I've continued to remain how I am with her, like a boyfriend, even though it's hard sometimes without feeling like a try-hard, I think the last thing she needs is for me to be give her the cold shoulder back. I'm willing to make it work if she makes me feel like she is trying too.
TL;DR: | New girlfriend says she's having a hard time letting people in lately, including me because of confidence and trust issues. Whilst we should be lapping up this puppy love, I'm wondering if it's really the right thing for her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/pettyrevenge
TITLE: Subtle, but oh so sweet.
POST: Two years ago I lived alone in the dorms at my University, and I happened to always become the butt of the jokes from the guys down the hall. It was always dumb middle school pranks so it never really bothered me that much, but it became more frequent and it got to me. I would come back from my friend's and my door would be covered in some ketchup or soap or something of the sort. My fuse was getting shorter everytime. On the week of finals everyone was getting ready to go home for winter break and was studying and packing up. On this particular night I had a final at 8:00 in the morning so I studied all day and hit the sheets early to get a good nights rest. Around 1:00 in the morning I head a loud bang on my door and someone running back down the hall. I knew who did it right away, so I open the door and it appears they decided to throw mac n cheese all over my door. The RA happened to be walking back from the bathroom and I explained what happened and he made them clean it up.
Now here comes my petty revenge. After my final I just sat around thinking up ways to get them back. Well it came about that I was leaving early the next morning and they were all leaving in one car later in the day. So that night I sneak out and let the air out of all four of the car tires, the night before they are supposed to leave! Basically leaving them stranded at school for about 3 more hours because no one else had a car and they had to somehow find a way to get air in the tire. It wasn't much but it felt great to get my revenge.
TL;DR: | Was messed with all throughout a semester of college. The night before we are supposed to go back home for Christmas I let out all the air in the kids tires, delaying his drive home by about three hours. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: How long to text her back?
POST: Met this girl at a bar monday night with her friend. She came in at 11:45 pm and she was turning 21 at midnight. Awesome, something easy to break the ice. We start talking, the three of us, and it goes awesome. Ive got both of them laughing. Theyre gonna go to AC for two days to celebrate. Another group comes in and this guy wearing a green lantern shirt is turning 21 as well. But theyre mad awkward and trying too hard. Anyway, hes going to AC too and they make plans to meet up but she tells me shes not 'into' him (not verbatim bit you get the idea). I get her and her friends number, closing time at the bar, and we head out. Next day (Tuesday) i text her n say "You gotta let me know if you meet up with Green Lantern and the beer pong gang". No response until today (saturday) when she says " Hey ! Sorry I died but yeah I did see him there hahah".
I know there are two campa in the response times. Some people say WAIT AWHILE so it makes it appear as youre too busy to reply, when others will say IF SHES TEXTING YOU SHES THINKING ABOUT YOU which means shed be down to see you that night.
Additionally, we made plans on Monday to hit up a hookah bar on Friday but since she didnt reply until saturday it didnt happen.
Anyway,
TL;DR: | girl i meet at bar takes 4 days to respond to a text, how long should I wait to reply? Thanks in advance. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [24F] Dating great guy [27M] for almost 2 years. No major complaints but still want to leave and need advice.
POST: My boyfriend is lovely, he cares deeply for me and has made several significant changes to keep me around.
We have had some significant troubles in the past mostly related to drinking and hobbies, but we worked them out and both of us were happy with the changes.
Following this, our relationship is very calm and comfortable and loving. We communicate well and he is extremely kind and supportive and patient with me.
My problem now, is that I feel so unfulfilled sometimes and I'm usually so outgoing and liberated, but I feel like his very calm and mature personality keeps my silliness and tenacity from reaching normal levels.
We have discussed about how I'm not really happy and tried to implement changes, but I just don't feel like it's working. When I told him a few months ago about my unhappiness and what I feel the reasons for it were, we had a really great talk and I felt so close and connected to him and couldn't believe I was considering not being with him. But now that feeling is gone and I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm not being fair to him. This was only a few weeks ago. So my question is...
TL;DR: | how do I tell someone I love them very much and they did a great job supporting me and working with me to make our relationship work, but I just don't think we're right for each other? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My(F25) boyfriend(M29) of one year has a child from a previous relationship that he is unable to see. How should I handle father's day?
POST: So a little back story, I've been dating my boyfriend for about a year now. We'll call him Stan. He has a five year old son from a previous relationship and was very upfront about that from the start and I'm obviously fine with it. Things did not end well with his ex (which is a whole other screwed up story) and she has made it her goal to make sure he has no place in his child's life. This woman is pretty crazy and I'm not just saying that because she's my boyfriends ex. She had a decent sized criminal record before he got involved with her and she is only adding to it currently. She was able to take the child out of state because she had a restraining order placed on Stan claiming that he had hit her. Truth was she gave herself several bruises and had family lie for her to support her claims. There is a long list of other things this woman has done but we won't go there. Stan has made every attempt to reach out to his son from trying to send letters to sending gifts for birthdays and even offering to give her family money to support the child. There's a long custody battle going on right now and it will still be a while before he is able to see his kid. It breaks his heart that he can't be there for his son and it upsets me to see him hurt.
My question is, how do I handle father's day? We are spending time with both sides of the family that day but I am unsure if I should mention something specifically to him. I know for sure that it wouldn't be right to get him some cliche gift. I have thought about just writing a small note that says how I'm sure he'll make a great father for his son and I'm sure things will work out soon. Or I could skip that and just treat him a little extra nice that day and not bring anything up. Anyone else out there that have been in similar situations?
TL;DR: | boyfriend has a son that he is not able to see for reasons beyond his control. What do I do for Father's day? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19F] with my boyfriend [20M] have been organising to have a threesome with someone and want to back out.
POST: My partner [20M] and I [19F] have been organising with a really nice girl [19F], to have a threesome. We've all made out a few times and are slowly working our way up to sex. But she has to drink every time we want to do something, always organised by everyone before hand, and that's a major turn off.
We've talked about it, and had fights about it, and made up over it, and it's a bit of a strain on our relationship. So between the two of us, we've decided we won't go through with it.
The thing is, about a week ago, she confided in me that basically she's attached to us, and is afraid we're going to leave her high and dry. I wasn't quite sure what she meant by that and just left it. I'm increasingly worried however that she is going to be hurt by us deciding now, after all this time, that we want to back out. Even though we haven't had sex yet.
My boyfriend isn't okay with the fact she has to drink before even kissing us.
And I get a little jealous every time they do anything remotely sexual. Not enough that I can't get over it, but it takes some of the fun out.
So, how do we go about "breaking up" with her without hurting her? Is there any way to make it easy? Should I just explain the situation?
We've become really good friends. I'd hate to lose her over this.
TL;DR: | Breaking up with ones sex partner before sex, whilst dating someone else, is messy. And I don't know how to not hurt her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How do you beat Shutterfly at its own curmudgeonly game?
POST: I work for a small non-profit that does awesome education work with low-income middle schoolers. Keeping ourselves financially solvent is always hard, so we have a big fundraiser coming up where we will honor the mayor's wife of the major American city that I live in (she has been a badass in supporting kids and educational initiatives like ours). I have been tasked with creating a gift for her, which I decided would be a book that shows off our awesome students and their work. I used shutterfly to do this. Now, because I was slow getting the stuff together, Shutterfly will not ship the book to me in time for the fundraiser (Wednesday). I am trying to think creatively and figure out how I can get it printed locally (like at a Staples or Office Max), but being controlling fuckers, Shutterfly will not let you download the file that you created on their website. I am trying to think of a way to get the file from their website onto my own computer so that I can get it printed. Besides taking screenshots of each page, is there anyway that I can get high-res images appropriate for a book for an important (and awesome) woman? Thanks!!!
TL;DR: | I need to download a shutterfly project that I made and they won't let me. Any chance that you can help me out? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: 18[M] trouble with a 17[F]..
POST: I'm cluesless what to do honestly.
It started back in december, I met her we hit it off talked nonstop but problem was she is from another city but studies here. She also had a boyfriend of 2 years at the time.
We kept talking, clicked very well together. She and her BF broke up and we started dating.
A month later she cheats on me and I take her back, it's either I look for someone else alone with no sex or look for someone and get sex.
I start develping feelings for her I never had before, she cheated on me 2 more times later on, then I stood up and said it's either me or him - she couldn't choose so we just agreed on FWB.
I started to actually love her. Strong feelings towards her, I just can't forget her. The burning sensation when shes back at her city sleeping with him.
I asked her not to go to the Fast and Furious 7 premiere with him because that was our thing, we agreed on going to it together but she still went (she said he surprised her).
I don't want to no-contact her, it will hurt a fucking lot and I got none else.
I don't know what to do, any suggestions?
TL;DR: | In loved with a girl which sleeps with another man, she loves? me too but doesnt want to no-contact him or stop sleeping with him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I'm in a pickle.
POST: So been with my boyfriend(m 20, I'm f 20) for 4 months, one month long distance. Things were perfect before I left to study abroad in italy for 3 months. he even told me he loved me a few weeks ago. As much as I like him, and I know he makes me happy and is so good for/to me, I'm just not happy. I know that we talk as much as makes sense, which is everyday at least a few messages back and forth and skyping at least every 2/3 days. I don't want to loose him, but the long distance is really hard for me and I can tell that it's really affecting me, making me not want to go out, paranoid about if he thinks I'm annoying or clingy, and overall sad a lot of the time.
TL;DR: | I'm not happy in my long distance, but I don't want to loose him and wouldn't be happy if we broke up either. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Dogtraining
TITLE: my brother says I broke the dog cause he can't go on his back.
POST: My Maltese shih tzu can't go on his back and I think it's because when he was a puppy, his stomach was unexpectedly exposed and he struggled to be upright again. Being the dumb first dog owner I was, I thought I was fine and dint realize that I was stressing the poor pup since the internetz was saying it's okay to force it to expose its belly.(which I now realize is probably not since it's shows their weak spot) if I rub him just right, he'll expose his belly but won't go on his back. I want to teach him roll over but he'll just stand up and lie down on the other side. Anyways. I think he doesn't go on his back because he relates it with being the bad experience from when he was a pup. How do I undo this bad experience when I can't even get him on his back?! I know he does not get pain from going on his back.
TL;DR: | dog relates going on back with bad experience probably. How to undo this bad experience to teach roll over. Will expose belly, won't go on back. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (24M) just stumbled across my gf's (24F) exbf's Facebook page, and it's like they're still dating... after us being together about 6 months now, Not sure how to handle.
POST: I was just hanging around the house today, decided to hop on Facebook to see what's up. Saw that my girlfriend's ex has been commenting on her pics, wall, etc. Think "that's sad this dude can't move on." We've been together for about 6 months and he's still lurking around? Then notice that his profile picture is the second half of her picture still... They were both at the beach and it's like two halves make a whole picture. Ugh.
Click (regretfully).
See that she is still in all of his pics. He's kissing her, partying with her... It's as if they've never broken up. I've stumbled into some horrible black hole time void.
She doesn't have anything like this on hers, but I did notice that her relationship status is private (though it's listed with me through FB), and she had never said anything about me. I'm hardly ever on this thing and don't think I've ever said anything to her publicly, but this dude seems to be everywhere on the page...
To an outsider, it's as if they're still dating.
I know that she is not cheating on me (physically), because of how much time we spend together. She is also pregnant with my baby... so I'm rather reluctant to believe that anything fishy could be going on. But I'm totally creeped out!
Is it wrong for me to be upset that this dude has all these pics of he and my gf making out? Is this something I can bring up with her and ask why she allows it? Or am I over reacting and being insecure/controlling. Fuck modern technology.
TL;DR: | accidently spent today looking at pictures of my girlfriend and her ex on FB and trying to figure out if there's a proper way to deal with this situation or if it's even a situation at all. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24 F] found out that my boyfriend [24 M] of seven years, paid to have sex with a prostitute
POST: So I have been together with my boyfriend for 7 years. After graduating college we moved to a new city (about a year and half ago). A couple months ago, I found out that my boyfriend had paid to have sex with a prostituite.
I found out and he was making things up trying to cover up for what he did. After I finally got him to admit that he went and paid he still said that nothing happened. That right before it was going to happen he couldn't and just got his stuff and left. I am not 100% sure I believe him.
After talking it over I decided to stay with him and try to work on our relationship. Things were going good but lately I have been thinking about what happened over and over and it's eating me alive. I think it's the fact that he thinks everything is okay between us and even though we talk he feels bad for a day and then he acts like everything is okay between us when in my mind its still not right.
Anyways, I am hoping to get people's opinion on what I should do? Should I try to work on it or should I break up with him? I still love him with all my heart but it really hurts. I also think I'm scared of being alone - I am a shy person and since we moved I don't really have friends. I just don't know what to do?
FYI - I made him get tested and I did too.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend of seven years may have had sex with a prostitute. I still can't get over it but I love him. What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [26 M] hate my girlfriend's [25 F] male friend and it's hurting my relationship
POST: I'm seeing red over this situation and fear my next reaction to it will be emotional.
I've been seeing my girlfriend for about 5 months now.
One of her best male friends has many connections to me and she has been excited to finally introduce us. When I did, he was incredibly rude and constantly saying things to make me feel intimidated. I was shocked considering we had many things in common that I am sure he'd heard of. Aside from that, he was incredibly rude in general, constantly implying his wealth and how great he is. I am used to people like this, but I was shocked at how her friend group laughed at these jokes and seemed comfortable around that behavior that I do not typically accept.
I circled back with the other mutual friends I have with him and they all confirmed that he is a terrible person.
This is making me insecure in a number of ways.
* to a lesser extent, it's making me question my girlfriends judgement and tastes
* to a greater extent, I am offended by this guy and I'm going to have to deal with him again and again. He is unphased by being a jerk to me, to a very extreme level, and it's really getting to me.
* He's likely into my girlfriend, which I obviously don't blame him for, but it makes me uncomfortable. He was bragging about her enjoying his wealthy families houses in the past, invited her on a trip [work related] in front of me, and touched her arm within minutes of meeting me.
I was really taken aback by this behavior, and my girlfriends lack of empathy towards the fact that this guy was trying to "alpha dog" me, or at least clearly make me uncomfortable.
TL;DR: | I have a problem with her male friend, it's making me insecure and I don't know how to address it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 F] am too scared to break up with my BF [23 M]
POST: I've been dating my SO for three years. We have a child and are both young. I have many reasons I do not want to be with him.
- We have sex on average once a month (we've talked believe me.)
- He seems to have a video game addiction.
- I'm often left feeling very lonely everyday and seek attention from boys on the internet.
- We can't even hold a conversation
- He acts like hanging out with me is a chore.
- Don't remember the last time I felt love for him.
I know that sending him on his way will leave me with more financial responsibility but it will also save me from paying his bills. What I'm really worried about is the disapproving looks & opinions from my mother. She is old fashioned in thinking that if you have a child with someone you should be married and together forever. I'm sick of lying to my SO about my feelings & have somewhat rekindled one of my old flames..
I feel like one of those boring people in movies that got someone, became unhappy, but never did anything about it because they never had the courage too...
TL;DR: | Scared to break-up with my boyfriend because of what my mother is going to think & the feeling in the pit in my stomach is stopping me despite the fact I haven't been happy for a very long time. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (25 m) GF's (24 f) passiveness makes me feel like nothing gets resolved.
POST: Hi r/relationships.
I've been dating this girl for a few months - really like her. In a nutshell, I'd say we're in a relationship where I have had to put a majority of the effort. We spend a lot of time together and we can seriously talk about any topic without fear of judgment. That said, she's admitted during the early stages of our relationship that she is a passive person. Though I've factored that in, I've tried my best to make her feel comfortable around me so that she could talk about anything.
I'm a very understanding guy and I've never blown my fuse at her, or even anyone. I've always been respectful of our relationship issues, being able to understand her side (e.g. Okay, I get that you might be like this, etc.). But when something does come up, either...
1. My best friend tells me (who's dating my gf's best friend).
2. I prod her enough
I've told my best friend to stop telling me things thus far, since I don't like hearing through another pipeline due to loss in translation. I personally believe that mutual understanding and communication is the key to a successful relationship. But it's gotten to the point where when issues do arise, especially when she knows shes at fault, her responses are a quiet "Sorry" or "Okay".
This doesn't really help the situation because since I'm not a mind reader, I'm still insecure about how she feels. The point of these discussions is not to fault or shame anyone, but discuss on how we can work through the problem. And I'm not sure if it makes me look "needy" if I keep bringing it up until I get a mutual understanding between us.
Any thoughts on how to best deal with her?
TL;DR: | Girl I've been dating rarely communicates how she feels about issues within our relationship. I always have to bring up the topic and when I do, her lack of expression makes me feel like nothing is really solved. What do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I need some advice for TONIGHT!!
POST: First, sorry for the obnoxious title, but I do need some advice right now. There's this girl at work I've been talking to (we're both in our early 20's) and yesterday I asked if she wanted to go with me to a friends house later tonight for a fire. She said yes and gave me her number! That in itself was a huge accomplishment for me. The thing is, my friend may have to go into work so he won't be able to have the fire. What do I do if he calls it off? Do I tell her we'll have to hang out some other time? I also thought about just having her over my place, but I don't know, I feel kinda weird asking her to come over (still live with my family). I'm just really nervous and am freaking the fuck out because I really don't want to screw this up. I keep telling myself that everything is gonna be fine, but I'm still worried. I've never had a girlfriend because of confidence issues in high school. I've gotten better, but moments like this are still stressful. Not to long ago there was another girl who pretty much fucked with my head because she knew I liked her. For someone who never had a girlfriend, that shit skewed my perspective a bit. I bring this up because I like this girl I've been talking to, and I think she likes me, but I've got that damned feeling in the back of my head that just won't go away that says she wants something from me. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
TL;DR: | Invited a girl a like to a friends house, friend might not be available. Past issues are fucking with me and I'm not sure what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: US DoD Security Clearance and Drug Use...Help?
POST: First of all, this is a throwaway, for obvious reasons.
So I recently accepted an offer as an engineering intern for a defense contractor in the DC area. As a requirement for the position I have to obtain a secret (not top secret) level DoD security clearance. I've read online that it is a good idea to be truthful about past drug use so... I was.. kinda. I admitted to having experimented with marijuana during my first semester of college, and that I have not used since, and do not plan on using. The less-than-true portion is the bit about not using since. I still smoke every once and a while, and would, for sure, fail a drug test. My question is, having admitted past experimentation, will they have me tested to be sure I haven't used since? Or am I pretty much okay with admitting experimentation? (I've been told they're fine with experimentation as long as its longer than 6 months since the last use. On my application I stated December 2009 as the last time. Please help me. lol
TL;DR: | I have to get a secret level DoD clearance, and admitted to experimentation with marijuana over a year ago. Am I going to be tested anyway? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU By flashing my landlord
POST: This is a real TIFU because it happened 10 mins ago.
I'll set the scene. I'm a photographer and I just did a full day wedding job which isn't something I'd usually take on. Thats 10am to just before midnight, on my feet and herding people around etc etc. Obviously for a wedding you have to dress sharp, so it's suits all the way. Now, unfortunately I've been over indulging since before Xmas so this morning when I was getting dressed I made the unpleasant discovery that I'm too fat for my wedding suit. I sucked it up, literally, and squeezed into pants that are quite literally 2 sizes too small at this point. Fast forward to tonight, after 13 hours of running around my belt line is on fire so the second I'm in the car I undo everything and heave a sigh of relief. I drove home like that and it was GLORIOUS.
Here's the fuck up. My parking space is 2 feet from the entrance to my building so I grabbed my gear bag and a camera into each hand. I then run into my 65 year old female landlord who's been in doing God knows what with the circuit board by the looks of things. She says hi and starts asking me about the wedding. At this point I'm acutely aware that the belt, button and fly of my suit trousers are undone and I'm praying she doesn't notice. As if she was reading my mind the landlady glances down and says 'oh, you know your fly is open?'
My trousers pick this exact moment to fail me and fall to the floor, and I'm suddenly left standing in the hallway with an expensive camera in each hand and my trousers around my ankles. I fumble around trying to untangle the various straps so I can regain my dignity and the landlady excuses herself.
My lease is up for renewal in a few weeks, hope this doesn't affect anything!
TL;DR: | Unbuttoned my pants to relieve pressure, forgot to redo them, pants fell down in front of the person who owns my home. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit I need some legal advice, I'm hoping to put my uncle in prison.
POST: My uncle has always been an issue to my family, and my father is always having to deal with it, in fact there's no telling how much money my father has had to throw away just because my uncle has done something stupid.
I guess I'll go ahead and cut to the chase.
My uncle has been a scumbag all his life, put in jail multiple times from drug use and stealing yet he's always released. He currently lives with my grandmother but my father has her power of attorney. My father has it setup so my uncle shouldn't be able to get money, and has been keeping a very watchful eye over him. Well, recently we've discovered that my uncle has been signing my grandmother up for credit card companies and has charged over $10,000 in credit to her name.
My father has argued against this and asked for them to do an investigation to prove that it wasn't my grandmother who was actually doing this. The credit card company apparently did an investigation and somehow determined that my grandmother was at fault and would assume the dept instead of putting my uncle in prison for fraud. My father is under a lot of stress due to recent events within the family and having to cope with them while at the same time figure out how hes going to work these things out, it's a lot of work and requires some very important time, but we cannot get these things done while my uncle is causing enormous problems behind our back. We don't really have the money for a lawyer or anything like that, I'm hoping some of you can point us in the right direction and see if there's anyway we can put my uncle in prison.
TL;DR: | Scumbag uncle placed my grandmothers signature on credit card information, charged $10,000 to her name, credit card companies don't acknowledge this, I want my uncle in prison. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: M(20) aspiring to ask out F(25) co-worker.
POST: I've been browsing this subreddit a bit, and am fairly certain there isn't a situation quite like mine. The situation arose with a co-worker asking both she and I privately, a few months ago, what we both thought of each other. At the time, I really wasn't interested in a relationship due to my busy work schedule, anxiety, and overall professionalism. Just to clarify: We work at a restaurant.
After that slightly-awkward confrontation, I had began to think more and more about that possibility of the girl being interested. The topic had to arise from somewhere, right? Being shy, herself, and overall, having a very mellow attitude, I never expected her to really initiate conversation, but once or twice we've had the opportunity to, and she seems to really open up.
Curiosity struck again last week as I asked the same coworker who had approached us before to find out what the girl had said. Apparently, she thought I was cute. That doesn't say a lot other than she doesn't-not like me to a certain extent. I would love to ask her out BUT, I am in college, this is my only job right now, and I'd like to keep a crystal reputation. As an added bonus, multiple people around my workplace have either had affairs or are dating, so it isn't too uncommon.
Also, the interest's dad works there. Now, while I DO get along very well with him and have never had a problem with any dad in the past, I do see this whole situation a bit complicated because of the circumstances. I currently only see her one day out of the week and she is also a graduate looking for a serious career/job rather than waiting tables.
TL;DR: | Possible mutual interest via middleman. Don't want to risk job. Awesome dad also works with us. Don't have to see every day. Business is notoriously lenient. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Girl (20 F) I've (22 M) started seeing posted nudes to an app the morning after I left
POST: So, she and I have been seeing each other for about 4 weeks, just started sleeping together this last week. We're exclusive, but not labeling things right now.
There's an app some college kids use to post random pictures anonymously near our campus. I check the app every now and then, it's mostly goons, drugs, and desperate boys. All in all, an ok time waster. This morning I decided to check it out. A girl had posted a picture of herself topless (no face or really anything besides upper body), and I quickly recognized her from shape/distinct birthmark.
So, I get we aren't serious yet and she probably doesn't see this as a big deal. And really, it's her body and she can post pics if she wants. But as a guy who is trying to start a relationship here, I'm not sure how I feel. Should I confront her about it? If so, what do I say?
TL;DR: | Girl I'm dating posted nudes anonymously, I recognized her, unsure of how I feel or how to proceed. Advice welcome. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I've found a new bestfriend...? (m14)
POST: Well, this is going to be really short but well i've met someone new and well like...i don't think i can tell my old friend that she's not really my bestfriend anymore...? I'm not trying to be mean or anything, its just kinda happened...
LIke well this sounds really stupid and childish and all but i've brought up the topic with her and i've said like, oh what would you do if i found a new bestfriend and she said "i'd cry". Like i don't want to make her cry and all, but my new bestfriend treats me like an actual bestfriend. I know the person i want to tell is nice and kind and caring towards me its just that she seems to always be more bestfriend like with other people and barely talks to me. But still she would get sad if i said anything and it kinda wouldn't help since shes kinda depressed and i don't want to add anything.
Fuck, i know this makes me seem like the bad guy but how can i tell her that this new person is more like my bestfriend...or will i have to lie to her like i have been for the past few months now...?
I feel so bad having to admit this...ah...
TL;DR: | Met a new person, instantly became bestfriends and i have to break it to my old bestfriend that i've found a new one. Help me please. |
Subsets and Splits
No saved queries yet
Save your SQL queries to embed, download, and access them later. Queries will appear here once saved.