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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I need ideas for a double-blind placebo experiment simulation with college students. May God pay you with lots of karma if you can help me!
POST: I am researcher at a R&D Center in a european university. Tomorrow I am receiving the visit of students of a nearby college to talk about what is our job as researchers and what we do in our Center. I have about an hour to talk and also thought of talking a little about the scientific method, blind experiments and placebo effect.
I think it would be fun and more easy for them to grasp the concept to have a real experiment conducted with the students, so I would enjoy some ideas for a double-blind placebo controlled experiment that can be conducted in under 30 minutes.
I had prepared something related to short term memory and numbers, to test if it can be improved with the association of images, but I would like to come up with something more clear.
In my idea, I will separete students in three groups, will give each group a separate set of instructions to read, and will show them two strings of 9 digit numbers. After one minute will ask them to write the numbers down:
Group 1 - control group. Instructions are blank.
Group 2 - placebo group. Instructions are to read the numbers to themselves and repeat them until the time is passed. (Hypothesis is that this is what a person without any other strategy does anyway)
Group 3 - experimental group. Instructions are to think of the numbers as images that I will provide them (1 as a walking stick, 2 as a swan, and so on), and construct a visual string of images with the digits of the numbers)
As you can see it is not a very good idea, it has several shortcomings such as placebo and control groups being not really well constructed.
Any better ideas??????
TL;DR: | I would like to put some college students through a real double blind placebo controlled experiment. I will talk to them for one hour tomorrow in a visit to my university. Any ideas?? |
SUBREDDIT: r/GetMotivated
TITLE: [Story] I challenged myself to meet a goal every day for 365 days. It's been one year since then.
POST: I've loved storytelling and writing as long as I can remember. When graduation from school meant I didn't have to write anymore, for years I succumbed to the siren call of TV and video games and comic books (not that there's anything wrong with any of those - I still consume plenty of each).
~
How to fix it? Challenge myself. In April 2014 **I decided to write one short story every day for 365 consecutive days**. So that it was a reachable goal, I put another restriction on it: **each story had to be exactly 365 words long**.
~
It was not easy, and to be honest, I didn't always meet my goal. But if I missed a day, I made up for it by writing two stories the next day. I was determined, so I fought to make time for it. I wrote stories on my computer, in my phone, on notebook paper, and even across a driver's license form while I was waiting at the DMV.
I couldn't have done it without the support of the people close to me, even though my SO probably was irritated with the amount of times I had to say, "Hold on. I gotta write a story."
~
If you're interested in reading flash fiction that covers every genre from horror to romance to sci-fi to cute animal stories, **over a hundred stories are available for free at [365times365.com] (Sure, I'd love to publish them and make some money someday, but for now, it's all just for the love of the game.)
~
I realize this isn't the typical sort of weight-loss/get-a-job motivational story that this subreddit is used to, but it took a lot for me to keep going, and I thought maybe you could see something of your struggle - whatever that may be - in mine.
TL;DR: | I wrote 365 short stories in 365 days. If I can meet my goals for a year, you can, too. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Myself[26/f] and my boyfriend [24/m] are starting to feel uncomfortable about his [24/m] gay coworker's escalating text messages
POST: My boyfriend recently got a new job and has been there for about 2 months. He is in a management position with another man who is the same age and gay. My boyfriend has no problem with gay men and befriended him in a professional manner, but his coworker (who I will now just call Tom) seems to be trying to take this professional relationship further.
Tom began texting my boyfriend throughout the day for workout advice as he is aware my BF is very athletic and into fitness. BF had no problem with this and was happy to help him out. But things have began to escalate and its making BF uncomfortable.
Tom has began to text BF late in the evening, I'm talking like 12 at night. Weird things. Asking him if he shaves his arms and asking if he should as well. (BF does not shave his arms. I honestly don't even know what kind of question that was. Just added to the strangeness.) Tom also texts late at night just to make small talk and sometimes admits that he is drunk texting. Things like "what are you doing" and "why are you at home, you're boring." Considering that Tom has never outright hit on BF, confronting him doesn't seem like a viable option and for all we know maybe Tom just doesn't have any friends. But the way we are looking at it, if Tom was a female coworker, then texting this late at night just to talk knowing that BF is in a relationship (which tom is aware of) would be inappropriate. I asked BF, in his gut, what he thinks is going on, and he believes Tom is flirting with him.
Are we reading too much into this or is Tom into my boyfriend? If so how do you respond to a situation such as this without making it awkward at work.
TL;DR: | My boyfriend [24/m/s] believes his coworker [24/m/g] is flirting with him but can't be sure. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, how do I stop my brother from playing video games?
POST: *
TL;DR: | Brother seems to be addicted to LoL. Need to block ports to force him off the game for a while. How do it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [28M] girlfriend [28F] of 6 months makes more money then me and I can't shake being bothered by this even though I know I shouldn't be.
POST: Edit: I'm using a throwaway to post this because my girlfriend may know about my reddit account.
My [28M] girlfriend [28F] have been dating for about 6 months. Everything is going good and there haven't been any fights or problems. Recently I have found out that she makes more money then me. Like a lot more. It was by accident, I saw a copy of her pay stub on the table in a pile of other papers at her house. I wasn't snooping, the pay stub was right on top and I didn't touch anything I just happened to see. My girlfriend isn't stuck up and not the type to brag so she has never said a word to me about her salary. She often pays for our dates or at least her half and I admit I found this refreshing. She lives very modestly and I would have thought someone that earned as much as she does would live a bit more non modest. I had no idea her salary was so high.
I always told myself that I am modern and not stuck in the old days but for some reason it bothers me that she makes more money than I do. I can't explain it and I know it is wrong but I can't help it. I do like that my girlfriend is self sufficient (she changed a tire when we had a flat tire once and she fixed her own sink when it was leaking) and it refreshing to date someone who has her own life but is not clingy or needy. But no matter what I tell myself my feeling of being bothered won't go away.
It is to the point where I am starting to question the relationship. I don't want to because she is a great girl and I know I am being stupid and this is not a big deal. I want to get over this and not let it bother me anymore but I don't know how.
TL;DR: | I discovered that my girlfriend of 6 months makes way more money then I do. No matter what I tell myself this really bothers me and I don't know what to do to get over it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Things are no longer uncomplicated [27M]+[27F]
POST: i don't know where else to go.
dating this woman for a year and things were going very well. We're sexually compatible, we connect emotionally, and we share a sense of humor. she seemed really into me but kind of distracted sometimes. she texted a lot. when i asked her about it she said "it's just my brother".
I put her on my cellphone plan and it turns out that she *only* ever talks to her brother, 10+ times a day. Alwats nonsense like "I'm eating breakfast" or "I'm hitting the gym". One time she said, "I'm about to shower then I'll head over"
I know it's her brother's number (we're all pretty close) for a fact. They aren't actually related but have been together since they were kids.
This morning I went over to her apt and her car was outside but she wouldn't answer her phone. i let myself in with my key and i immediately heard sex noises from down the hall. cheating on me. okay, i thought. I can deal with this.
I opened her bedroom door because I wanted to confront her. I don't know why. it was a bad idea in retrospect.
she was on the bed, her legs hanging off the edge, and her brother was in the room with her. He was doing some shit that brothers should *not* do to their sisters.
I bailed out of there fast and started drinking. I'm freaked out. i don't think either of them saw me. what the fuck do i do?
TL;DR: | girlfriend in a an apparently consensual relationship with her "brother", saw them having sex, do I confront or just run? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Teacher [40s f] I hit on gave me [21m] great grade. Is this a sign?
POST: There is a certain professor in college that I have sort of been building a 'connection' with. It first just started off with me laughing at her lame-ish jokes. It then came to me complimenting her in office hours, giving her Edward Cullen like crooked smiles etc. I never really meant much by it - I was mostly just being a tease, and she basically just brushes it off most of the time anyway. Well, most of the time until now?
I saw that, in a midterm which I had completely bombed (like I literally only wrote 2 question out of 6) she gave me a 70%. I would have been extraordinarily lucky to get even a 30% since I simply did not even write anything at all in the other questions.
So, could this be a sign that she is reciprocating?
I see this could turn out in two ways:
i) I get a chance to hook up with a pretty good looking older woman
ii) this was just an error and I both get my mark revoked and end up looking like a predator.
How to proceed, reddit?
TL;DR: | professor I was hitting on gave me a grade that was impossible for me to have gotten. Mistake or sign that she is interested? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [23M] found out my girlfriend [20F] has lied to me, and she lied to me again when confronted. Am I overreacting?
POST: My girlfriend and I have been together for a bit over a year now, and we've had a great and fun relationship all the way.
A backstory here is that we've regularly talked about our past and had a few discussions about it. We had a little argument about one guy she slept with (whole other story), but I got told she slept with him with a condom one year before we met. No biggie, I might have overreacted a bit when we argued and we've talked about that as well, so I guessed all is fine.
A couple of days ago I asked for fun if she's spoken to any of the guys she's slept with after we started dating, and she said she didn't remember so she checked her Facebook while I looked.
She had some messages from two days before we "officially" got together, from that guy, asking if she has had her period, and that she wasn't pregnant. I pretty much panicked because I thought she had sex with him while we were dating, but she said she had sex with him in October with a condom. (This was during the first argument, and really, I'm not stupid but I didn't have energy to argue more).
Yesterday I asked if she's lied about anything else, and after some back and forth she admitted to having sex with him a week before we started dating, without a condom. (This got me fired up because she lied while I told her what I feel about lying).
That would mean about a month from they had sex till she got the message. She said she lied because she was afraid of my reaction after our first discussion about him.
Is there anything I should do here? Or should I handle this like a "better man", and believe her and just move on? I have to note that we have had no issues like this earlier, and I have had no indication that I can't trust her before this.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend lied to me about some past sexual relations, and lied to me again when confronted and told that I really don't like lying. Am I overreacting or is there some kind of underlying issue here? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me[22M] - how to ask her out[19F]?
POST: Hello! It's been 2 years since I've dated someone. I had just one relationship which lasted 4 years and after that I fell into a big period of depresion and basically shut myself down. I was so upset to the point that I lost confidence in people. Basically my life was: go to work, come home, do the house work...play video games/watch a movie/read a book, go to sleep.
Recently, I was feeling so lonely and decided to go to a bar after work and get a beer. So, I went to the bar and luckly there was an old friend which I haven't seen for half a year, sitting at a table with a girl so I've decided to join them.
I've presented myself...and we started to talk. And we talked....and we talked for like 4 hours :). My old friend was sitting there quietly.
At the end she said "It's been a pleasure meeting you. We'll keep in touch". - but I was to scared to ask her phone number because I thought it would be strange.
Luckly my old friend has her number(he is not interested in her) and I'm thinking of calling her and ask her out for a cup of coffee.
My question: Should I do this or should we have some more "accidental meetings" until I do this...so she can know me better?
I really need some advices on what to do/ how to deal with this issue since I'm not experienced.
Thank you so much!
TL;DR: | Should I phone and ask this girl out after meeting her in a bar(talked 4 hours non stop) or should we have some more "accidental" meetings before asking her out? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by eating the wrong red peppers
POST: This is a short one. Happened a couple months back.
I was eating pizza one day and went looking for the shaker that had crushed red pepper in it. Now normally I would dump a whole crapload of it on my pizza and enjoy.
I did the same (dumped a crapload minus the enjoy). Bit into it suddenly started feeling the burn (I grew up my whole life eating spicy food, I'm used to it).
Even after the first burn, stupid me thought I could brave through it. Boy, was I wrong. I kept eating, the bur getting more and more severe (I know I'm stupid, no need to tell me).
Eventually, it got too severe to bear. Drank some water, didn't do anything. Ended up having to chug milk. What was worse was that when I eat pizza, some of the pepper will eventually get to my lips and a bit outside them. Since these were so severe, my whole mouth was on fire by the end of the ordeal. Turns out, we were out of regular, store-bought pepper, so my mom decided she would make her own using her own backyard-grown peppers. That stuff was real potent.
TL;DR: | Have a habit of using shitloads of crushed pepper on my pizza, did the deed. Turns out the pepper I used was extra potent backyard-grown fresh peppers that were just minced and dried. |
SUBREDDIT: r/BreakUps
TITLE: heads a mess, ex is a mess, love life is a mess
POST: Me (F): 20 Him (M): 22, So we broke up a good few months ago over misunderstandings, disagreements, few weeks later he texted me asking me if I would transfer him some money which I did. After that for a while he seemed normal we had normal conversations, I often bought up if he minded me contacting him and he said it was fine and he often told me to call him the next day. He continued asking for money so whenever I had some I would transfer it over. I asked him how he felt and he would always say he didnt have the time to think about it yet because he was busy with exams or whatever.
He then decided to borrow some money off his friend and ever since hes been ignoring my phone calls, ignoring my messages, its been over two weeks :( i havent heard from him ive called him endlessly and ive got no response :( I really don't know what to do reddit :( is he just using me for my money? :( I even mentioned it to him and asked him if he was using me for my money and he simply said "I wouldn't do that I'm not a dick" and he said he would pay me back whenever he'd get the chance to do so.
TL;DR: | Me and my boyfriend broke up good few months ago he was fine few weeks ago now hes just disappeared without a word :( |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: I have no reason to but I dont feel attached to my girlfriend any more. Why?
POST: My girlfriend and I have been together for a while. I think she's a good girlfriend and she's perfect in all her ways. Although, lately I feel like I'm bored of her. There's not really much to talk about and I feel like I'm forcing it when we try to have a conversation. We don't live together.
I'm 18. I want to go out and meet other women because I have no real attachment with my girlfriend. I like her, she's comforting to have by my side but I just don't have the attachment there any more and I feel like I'm wrong for this. She likes me and I dont have a reason to not like her. She's good as a girlfriend just the way she is, I just feel like there's a loss of connection between us now.
Due to that, I feel like I'm being held back in life in terms of meeting other women. I feel like I could have fun meeting others, but I cant because I'm tied down in a relationship.
I dont want to break up with her, because I dont want to hurt her. Besides, I have no reason to break up with her other than the fact that I'm just ungrateful and got bored of her.
TL;DR: | I have a girlfriend. I'm seemingly bored of her. I dont know what to do and how to approach her and initiate a spark again. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18 M] with my best friend [18 F] year and a half, could friends with nonsexual benefits work?
POST: Let me preface this by saying this has been on my mind for a while. I'm somewhat new to reddit and not very knowledgeable on how it works or if this is the best place for this post to be so bear with me please. :)
I really love my best friend. She's helped me alot in the past year with personal issues and she's helped me get past past issues that i've had years prior. Before we got as close as we are now, I had some what of a "forced" crush on her.
Let me explain, when I first met her. I liked her personality, she liked alot of things I liked and really wanted to be with her. After certain events, I told her about it and after said events, told her I don't feel that for her anymore... But now that we've gotten closer and I've allowed this friendship to grow beautifully, I find myself developing these feelings of wanting to be with her again.
However, like anything I think about (doesn't help anxiety mixes into this), I feel like a relationship between us would never work as I would like it. I'm too proud to admit I'm wrong sometimes and she's too stubborn sometimes. Plus, I'm like a hopeless romantic and (from my knowledge) she isn't really romantic at all. So, I'd feel like I'm trying to be too romantic and she would just be repulsed by it. (We have also been told by multiple friends of ours that we seem to fight like an old married couple sometimes which may or may not be a bad thing.)There is also the fact that she is abstinent and I'm not really sexually attracted to her (not that I don't find her attractive >.> she is plenty cute).
So my question is, could there be a gray area between close friend and relationship that we could try if we ever reach that in the future? I was thinking something like a cuddle buddy thing but I'm not even sure.
TL;DR: | Love my best friend to the moon and back and sometimes have feelings of intimacy and romance with her yet afraid that a full on relationship will fail. Could a gray area between close friends and a relationship exist between the two of us? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My roommate [32 M] is cheating on his long-distance girlfriend [32 F]. I [29 F] am friends with both of them and very uncomfortable.
POST: My roommate moved in a little over a month ago. He and his girlfriend are casual friends of mine for a few years. They moved out of the area almost a year ago to look for work elsewhere. He was unsuccessful and so moved back here. She hasn't moved back yet as their lease isn't up and she has a job down there and few prospects back here. The original plan was he would make enough money up here for them to get their own place and she'd move back then.
When he first moved in it was all talk of how he missed her, how they were going to get married, etc etc. It's a five year relationship and they've only been long distance for the five weeks he's been up here. Fast forward to last week and he's going on dates "to research college" (yes, that was his real reason), but claiming he's not doing anything. Fast forward to now and women are staying over. He tells me his girlfriend is "depressed and dragging him down" and he just wants to have fun right now. He does classy shit like write "I love you!" on his girlfriend's Facebook wall while on a date with another woman.
I am really uncomfortable with this situation. I like his girlfriend--she's an incredibly sweet and friendly person and she's 110% devoted to him. This behavior would devastate her. I asked him why he doesn't just break up with her and he says he's not ready to do that yet and he still loves her (sure). I told him I'm really uncomfortable about all this and he told me "too bad".
The guy has good qualities but he is being a Class-A dick to a very sweet girl. I can't claim I'm best friends with her though, but I'm upset about his two-faced behavior and blatant disrespect of someone who adores him. Do I just bite my tongue and leave it alone? How do I deal with the rage?
TL;DR: | Roommate is cheating on his long-distance girlfriend. They're both casual friends of mine. His behavior pisses me off. Do I say anything to her? And if not, how do I deal with my anger? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [23M] am planning a surprise birthday party for my girlfriend [23f] and she told me she doesn't want a party
POST: My girlfriend's (of two years) birthday is on Wednesday, and I have been planning to take her to the coast for the day as a surprise. Her mother texted me yesterday suggesting we plan a surprise party for her in addition, which I thought was a great idea. I had just been surprised on my birthday last year and felt like it was a really meaningful event and showed how much my friends care. Today, however, my girlfriend told me that she does not want a birthday party at all. When I asked her why, she said she felt bad that she hadn't been able to go to other friends' and relatives' parties, so she felt guilty expecting others to come to hers. She also expressed some guilt regarding receiving gifts for the same reason.
Am I wrong in thinking she's needlessly shutting down a fun celebration? I feel like these misgivings come from past birthdays from before I knew her. I don't really like receiving gifts on my birthday either, so I can see her stance, but I don't think that's a good reason to forbid me throwing her a party :(
The major issue is this: how do I come to a decision on this without ruining the surprise? Normally I would just hash this out with her, but she's too smart for me to mislead her, and she would know if something was up if I tried to start a conversation about birthdays.
TL;DR: | I'm planning a surprise party for my girlfriend and she told me she doesn't want a party at all. I don't understand and don't know how to resolve it without spoiling the surprise. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19F] with my BF [19M] 5 months, his trauma is affecting him more than he will admit. How to communicate gently?
POST: Charles is an absolute dream of a boyfriend, although our levels of physical intimacy have been hampered. When he was 14 he was coerced into sleeping with two older girls while another watched and his trauma over this has had a noticeable toll on his emotional well-being.
Even before he told me about the abuse, our first time sitting on a park bench together I could feel an immense amount of tension in his body, which he denied for minutes.
It gives him evident pain to talk about the incident. In general day-to-day life he will be completely normal and charming, although he shuts down at any notable reminder of what happened to him.
We've only ever made out, and although he never denies any physical advance I make, sometimes his discomfort has been plain to me and I make us stop.
He has been to therapy and we are gradually progressing through steps of physical intimacy, although I'm starting to become also concerned he isn't enjoying it and is merely pretending to for my sake.
TL;DR: | Before I just sit him down and discuss my concerns, is there anything I should know about expressing myself to someone who has been abused? What else can or should I do for him in general? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [16 M] with my crush[16 F] I need help to get her to notice me romantically.
POST: I have liked this girl for a while and whenever i muster up the courage to talk to her the first topic that comes to mind is school. Now she only talks to me about school related stuff not anything personal even if I go first. I always start the conversation.
I really like and would like to ask her out but want to make sure its mutual before I do. Also is it a good idea with the last day of school coming around to ask her out then just so if she says no I don't have to deal with the in class awkwardness?
TL;DR: | How do I get her to notice me in a non school way... Good idea to ask out on last day of school to avoid possible regection awkwardness? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23F] with my BF [23M] of 1 year, can't get over this stupid problem.
POST: My boyfriend is from Florida, I'm from Seattle, and we met and live in DC. We recently moved in together. He insists on keeping the apartment between 73 and 75 degrees. This makes me very uncomfortable, especially at night. I try sleeping in as little clothing as possible and no blankets, but I wake up every morning between 5:30 and 6 a.m. to turn up the A/C because I'm so hot. I knew he liked his apartment warm, but I figured we'd find a compromise like he wears a sweatshirt and our apartment stays around 70. But he refuses to put on a sweatshirt or use a blanket, and says 70 degrees is too cold. He doesn't want to "pay for the privilege" (pay for the A/C bill) to be cold at 70 degrees (we split all our bills). The lack of sleep and constant sweating is driving me crazy, and I feel like he's being selfish. What should we do?
TL;DR: | my bf likes the apartment really hot, I can't sleep and am really uncomfortable, he refuses to compromise by wearing a sweatshirt. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Need URGENT help, she is moving away in a couple weeks but I'm pretty sure down to date until then.HELP M20 F25
POST: M/20 F/25
Okay guys first time doing this but w/e i feel this is warranted granted the situation..so there's this beautiful girl at work...we've been working together for a few months in a food business (want to be vague) and she and her have flirted back and forth most chances we get while its not busy she always starts it too. She has texted me a couple times and I stupidly ended the conversation pretty quick as in I don't respond,because I suck at texting and get self conscious that whatever I say will come off as creepy.There were :) smileys in her texts too which I think is a good sign... AND she posted on my Facebook wall. Anyways like the title states she is moving soon like weeks... and I feel like I am loosing out of time to at least hang out with her but I really feel like I should chill with her before just so its not so awkward at the party she already invited me to happening a little later(its gonna be her going away party so i feel like she's gonna be entertaining guests and what not the whole time)...anyways what should I do?? Text her and ask her to hang out soon? What should i text her?? Or just wait? Thanks for the help guys...by the way this is my first encounter so to speak with an older woman and I love it...the way a mature woman flirts is awesome and so much more straight forward i guess...I don't know I have had bad luck with girls my whole life so I don't know what I'm talking about.
TL;DR: | Girl is moving away in a couple weeks and I want to chill with her before her going away party she already invited me to...and I really suck at texting... |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by participating in a drawing contest at my family's Christmas party
POST: So every year at Christmas, I go to a party with all of my relatives, some even so distant that I barely know them. There's at least 100 people in the room. One of the activities at the party was to put a paper plate on your head, and try to draw a snowman as best as you can. Obviously you can't see what you're drawing, so its pretty difficult. The requirements were to draw 3 snowballs as the body, 3 buttons, a carrot nose and a hat. Mine actually turned out better than most of the others, so I submitted it to the front to see if I could get a prize.
When the party host showed everyone else my drawing, a few people laughed nervously and looked at me funny. I didn't understand why, but after looking at my drawing again, I realized that I drew the carrot nose on the wrong end of the body so it looked like a dick. Not sure what I'm going to say to my relatives next time I see them.
TL;DR: | Messed up a blind drawing in a bad way, now my entire family thinks I'm some weirdo who draws dicks on snowmen. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (20/F) can't stop over analyzing my SO's (23/M) behavior and random moments when we spend time together.
POST: I'm 20/F and have been in my very first relationship for about 6 months now. My SO is 23/M. It's been a really great start and I like to think I'm doing pretty well even with my lack of experience, but there are times that I start doubting myself and end up over analyzing situations as simple as eating across from him at a table in a restaurant. I'll start to feel awkward, then I begin to wonder if he is feeling the same, so maybe that's what is making me feel that way to begin with, yadda yadda yadda. It all builds up and my brain doesn't seem to want to TURN OFF.
I'd really appreciate some input on how I may be able to control this and start training my brain to be a little more "in the moment". I'm still learning a lot about what I want and don't want, and I know I definitely don't want this to become a bad habit for me!
TL;DR: | First relationship ever. Have an issue of over-analyzing situations when I'm with my SO. How can I teach myself to stop? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [17/M] and a girl [17/F] have been hanging out and hooking up, but we're not really sure what we are. Advice?
POST: We've been hanging out and hooking up for a few weeks. We're both going off to college in a few months (end of September), so we obviously don't want anything too serious, but it feels like more than just a casual friends with benefits situation.
We kiss whenever we see each other, and we're generally very affectionate to each other. We hold hands while walking and driving, I put my arm around her waist while we're standing together, she rests her head on my shoulder sometimes, and we spend a lot of time close together.
Most FWB/hookup situations I've seen, the people are platonic in public and are just in the relationship for the physical pleasure. In our case, it seems like a little more than that. We've talked about what we are, and we agreed that we weren't dating (just so we don't get feelings for each other and end up heartbroken in a few months), but I have a feeling that she has feelings for me (she said it was "depressing" that this was ending in 3 months).
Do you think it's acceptable for FWBs to be this affectionate in public? She doesn't seem to have any issues with it so far, but I don't want to push her boundaries of what she's comfortable with. I also don't want to give the wrong impression, that I'm getting too attached.
TL;DR: | Girl and I are supposed to be just FWBs, but we are quite affectionate to each other. Is that OK? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me[51F] having hygiene problems with my husband[65M] of 20 years
POST: In the past 6 months or so my husband has let his personal hygiene habits really slip. He went from showering every day to once a week.
He doesn't brush his teeth unless I remind him to. Even then he sometimes won't because he "doesn't have time." He waits until the last minute to get up for work. I know he's tired which would get better if he would go to bed instead of falling asleep on the couch. He tells me I'm nagging when I tell him more than once he should go to bed.
He won't get a haircut until he looks ridiculous. Even then I have to make him do it.
I shouldn't have to remind an adult to brush his teeth or go to bed, should I? He says I am criticizing him and treat him like a child.
I have a low sex drive to begin with and honestly this problem does not help. I'm not attracted to him when he is not clean.
I love this man but I worry that as he gets older this problem will only get once and he'll turn into one of those old people with BO.
I'm at a loss about how to talk to him about this. When I've tried he gets defensive.
TL;DR: | Husband's hygiene going downhill fast and I feel like I have to treat him like a child. What do I do so I don't have to nag him? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by wearing a skirt with a broken zipper
POST: So I'm wearing a really cute black Kenneth Cole miniskirt I got for free out of the lost and found bin in Pensacola, FL in the Navy barracks where I lived in 2011. The zipper is kinda busted where it catches on the material and takes a few up and down motions and pinching of the material closed to get it on/off. If I can get it on in the morning and it zips in just a few tries, I wear it and then shoehorn it over my ass in order to pee and then shoehorn it back up to avoid the zipper. I just spent the last 15 minutes in the bathroom because I wasn't paying attention and unzipped my skirt, immediately having that "oh fuck" moment. I couldn't get it zipped back up so I was panicking and literally zipping up and down at lightening speed trying to get it closed. It didn't work, so I hurriedly crouched and waddled real real fast over to the copy room and used the industrial stapler to staple the skirt shut and then colored the staples black with a sharpie so no one would notice.
TL;DR: | I've been wearing a skirt with a broken zipper and it really bit me in the ass today. I need to pony up and just buy a new skirt. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dogs
TITLE: [Help] I need help getting a very easily intimidated dog more comfortable with me being close to him.
POST: I live in quite a large yard, in a rural area that's not very modern, and the people aren't too educated. This dog, Dwayne (Dog Without Name ---> Dwayne, we thought it was clever), first visited by our house every now and then, and decided to stick with us since he obviously had no owner. He looked super scaredy, and was pretty frighteningly slim.
After a while of feeding him and speaking nicely to him (read, about one year) I'd say he's doing fine, he's definitely healthy and he's getting along with our outdoor cat semi-decently. But if I get closer than about 10 meters from him, he runs away, and he constantly seems to be in a state of alert and fright. He always goes to the same places, often hideouts, he's comfortable with.
If he were human, I'd be almost certain he's been physically abused and starved in the past and he's afraid of getting close now. But I don't know if dogs work that way. Either way, I want him to feel as happy and comfortable as I can, and I can't do that if his reflex is to run away from me. I know he doesn't hate me because he waits for me to come home every day and he displays a lot of appreciative, affectionate body language, but he has never been touched by anyone and he gets scared by even the slightest sudden motions or raising of objects (I can't even throw food at him because he flees a few meters). Not to mention my bike...
TL;DR: | I'd rather you read it for better feedback, but I have this dog that definitely likes me, yet always acts as if I'll physically harm him and runs away at the slightest motion or act of giving him something. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25/F] with my boyfriend [28 M] of 4 years, not sure if I should break up with him or keep trying.
POST: So my boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years. There have been typical ups and downs but we have gotten through it. For the past year I've been unable to have sex with him. When he tries to initiate it he either turns me off completely, or when he touches me I feel like he's tickling me and it's un-consensual touching. We've had sex probably 6 times in the past year, and the last time was in November. It's not that I'm not attracted to him. I think he is very hansom, I just take sex with him as a joke. I haven't orgasmed during intercourse since we first moved in together 2.5 years ago.
I travel for work. Whenever I come home he's always done something to the apartment for me. Now he's been gone for a week and I haven't been better. I like my apartment more, I like having the bed to myself, and I just like being by myself. We've never been the type to talk a lot while the other is away, we respect that we have separate lives and don't smoother each other. When he is home he's great. He doesn't try to control me, I am a very independent person and he realizes that.
In terms of on paper we work great. We respect each others privacy, and life and work well together. But with the lack of sex and me not wanting him to come home I'm questioning out relationship.
I've also started noticing other guys, comparing them to my SO, weighing the options. I realize that this is terrible.
So I guess I just don't know what to do. If I do break up with him how do I do it? We've been living together for 2.5 years, and I'm worried about all of our mutual friends, and losing his friends if this happens. I'm also a very blunt person so I don't even know how to begin talking about this to him except "Hey so I like it better when you aren't here".
Thanks for the advice in advance!
TL;DR: | Boyfriend went away for a week and I like it better when he is gone, despite the fact that when he is home we have a great relationship other then lack of sex. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskDocs
TITLE: Prolonged throat discomfort (several years) now accompanied by strange structures in phlegm.
POST: First I am a 29 year old white male, 5'11" and about 200 lbs right now. I take no medications and have no known allergies to plants or food. I have had throat irritation accompanied by increased/constant mucus production starting sometime around June of 2012. The mucus is generally clear although it can be speckled with green or white blobs depending probably based on if I have a mild infection or whatever. The mucus is very viscus and sticky (it can be kind of blobby) and has a salty flavor. It feels like I have something resting on the back of my throat that can be moved around by attempting to clear my throat or by repeated swallowing but never really goes away. I have gone to both my doctor and looked at acid reflux, anxiety, and finally went to a specialist to get my throat scoped with no results and a final diagnosis of globus hystarious or something along those lines, so basically it was imagined. The sensation and markedly increased mucus production has never gone away.
Two months ago I coughed up a very odd piece of phlegm which was clear with some bits of white kind of like usual, however it had a very springy and durable white coiled structure in it about an inch long and maybe the width of a .5 pencil lead when not stretched. At first it almost looked segmented like a worm or something but I don't know. I passed it off as nothing because it could easily be a one off that my body made via fluke or whatever. However it has happened twice more since then and I am thinking it has something to do with my condition.
I have taken a picture of it but the quality is somewhat poor. It was hard to get the camera to focus on it.
Is this something to be concerned about? I haven't been able to find anything about coiled mucus structures in phlegm so I am kind of at a loss. Side note; it lost all springyness/stretchyness after sitting out while I was writing this.
TL;DR: | What the heck is this stuff coming out of my nose/throat. It is coiled, springy and weird. |
SUBREDDIT: r/self
TITLE: Reddit, I need some advice on"letting go" and living in the moment.
POST: This has been controlling my personal life for way too long now, and I'm ready to change. I feel as though I am not a very serious person at heart, but I am terrible at communicating this. I have been told I looked pissed off when I am content. I just want to "go with the flow" of things so to speak. The worst part- all my friends are outgoing,funny people and then there is me...it's like I have a mental block or something, I can identify my problem but haven't overcome it yet. I feel as though my life is filled with interesting events, but personally I lack the confidence or mentality to uphold an upbeat personality. I consider myself a good looking guy, but I struggle with girls because of this deficiency.
I know I can't be the only one who struggles with this. Any advice would be appreciated!
TL;DR: | Help me "go with the flow" of things to avoid a lifetime of sitting on the sidelines while everyone around me has fun. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21M] with my Wife [29F] 2 years, dont know if we should move on
POST: I married her after knowing her for 4 months for the purpose of helping her immigrate. She is my first relationship and she took my virginity.
I do not love her, although i like her alot and she is very loyal and has a mostly good personality. The reason i dont know if we should be together is that I am not happy with what I am getting out of it. We dont have that much sex and when we do it tends to be rushed because she has to get up for work and comes home late and she tends to take out her stress on me cursing at me and stuff.
Part of me wants to stay with her because when shes having a good day though i feel like shes the perfect partner, funny, smart, positive, etc....
I havent really considered leaving her but on a bad day when she talks about leaving sometimes i do not care.... she only been talking about leaving for 2 days and what makes me want to stay is that im worried what will happen to her if we split because she doesnt have much income, and she has been really loyal to me for 2 years and stuck with me through the bad and the good and i feel attached to her. also she says she cant love anyone because of a past abusive relationship but she still has "feelings" for me
she says she wants to leave me because she doesnt think i have any feelings for her.
TL;DR: | Dont love my wife, dont know if i should move on because i feel guilty and i am attached to her but i dont feel like the relationship has much potential |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (19F) sprayed deodorant in my boyfriend's (21M) eyes. I'm so stupid.
POST: This morning my boyfriend and I woke up and I guess Wednesday's just really aren't our day. He straight away jumped on the computer to play the new Terraria update and I asked him why he had to play straight away as I wanted to cuddle in bed because he gave me his silly cold lol. Apparently I asked in a bitchy tone which I honestly didn't realise. He had an appointment to go to so while he was getting ready for it I decided I would leave the room and do some cleaning as that helps when I feel like an argument is coming on. As I was about to walk out the room, he was spraying tea tree oil and I asked him to stop because I didn't want my dogs to be able to lick it up and get sick. He kept doing so, and I got furious as my dogs are my everything. I've come close to losing my 5 year old dog before so I get really protective over her. He started being a smartass and grabbed the deodorant and spraying it everywhere while saying stupid things, in the heat of the moment I grabbed it and sprayed it in his eyes. I immediately regretted it and now he thinks I'm crazy which I can understand, I am in the wrong. I feel as if he had of stopped and sprayed his tea tree elsewhere, none of this would have happened.
He now hates me, he's at his appointment and I'm scared that when he returns he's going to leave me. I know we're only young but we have been together for nearly three years, our relationship was a bit backwards. We started off bad, but for the last year and a bit we have been amazing apart from the odd argument.
TL;DR: | Had a fight with boyfriend over him spraying tea tree near my dogs, started fighting and I stupidly sprayed deodorant in his eyes. He hates me now. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [21F] am in love with a heroin addict
POST: This is my first real post, I apologize for errors. I have been with my SO [23M] for six years. We have had our share of fights and disagreements but he is my best friend. About three years in, I heard through mutual friends that he had been smoking pain pills while attending a Pharmacy Tech course. As a girl who has had drugs affect loved ones before, I always vowed to myself I would never touch them. My views have never changed and my SO is fully aware.
After this his parents put him into rehab meetings and he would be put on Suboxone. He would go through periods of time being clean, but after three months or so he would startup again. After what I thought was a great time in our lives, I find out of a serious heroin addiction. He is currently"getting clean", yet again, and is attending a 40hr a week therapy. Yesterday was his first real day and when he came to see me for a bike ride, my heart sank because his eyes were low and he was a zombie. I am almost certain he had used.
My question is if Suboxone has anything to do with it? I know it's an opiate, but he often tells me he looks like he used but "its just my Suboxone". I feel silly eating up any drug facts from him when he knows so much more than I do and I cant help but wonder how often he is just trying to passify me. Please help, I don't want to give up but I have to protect myself too.. Right?
TL;DR: | my SO [23 M] of six years is a heavy heroin addict. On his first day of treatment he returns looking high again, blames Suboxone. Am I worried for no reason? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 F] and my boyfriend [23 M] of 2 years wants to live together, but only option is a small apartment
POST: Me [22 F] and my boyfriend [23 M] of 2 years wants to live together, but only option is a 40m2 one-room apartment. Otherwise we would live separately, but still close to each other.
I understand that it is different for all couples, and it's kind of hard for me to make it more specified, since we haven't lived together before. But maybe you have some point of views that we haven't thought of. Some ups or downs that isn't obvious.
We are both students and spend a lot of time at the uni. In general we have the same friends. We don't have lots of furniture and stuff to mix together. The apartment has enough storage if I leave some shoes at my parents. We have around the same income and the same view of money.
On the pro-side:
+ Lot cheaper rent if we split it.
+ We would live together :)
On the con-side:
- Very limited private space.
- He likes evenings - I like mornings
- I would say I'm somewhat more tidy
Thank you
TL;DR: | Me [22 F] and my boyfriend [23 M] of 2 years wants to live together, but only option is a 40m2 one-room apartment. I'm looking for some general advice on from you with experience! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [f/20] and [m/20] broke up and now I'm being accused of cheating?
POST: My ex-SO and I broke up, together for 8 months, because he was mad at me for a Facebook status. He ended up trying to "take it back" 6 hours later but I wouldn't allow it.
In the meantime however, it was my friend's birthday and I had had a crush on him for a little while because I've been so unhappy in my relationship, but I wasn't "allowed" to break it off. He wouldn't take it seriously whenever I said it so I was waiting for him to break it off because I knew he would get mad enough and do it eventually.
This friend and I have been attracted to each other for a few months, but he respected my relationship and never tried anything and I didn't go past any boundaries. We had only hung out with other classmates outside of school twice and I was being accused of doing it all the time, for whatever reason.
Anyways, he had been giving me advice on my relationship by trying to give me perspective from the Military lifestyle view and the guy point of view, so we had been talking for a while.
On Monday, it was his birthday and my ex-SO had broken up with me and all I felt was relief. My friend and I hung out after class ended because it was his birthday and we did kiss and make out a bit. I was ignoring my phone because I figured it was my ex-SO trying to "take it back" and I didn't want to deal with it.
As soon as I get back inside my house, he calls again and I answer and start telling him how tired I am of this and everything about our problems. He asked where I was and said who I was with.
Tonight, my ex-SO and I were talking because I was trying to be there for him because I knew he was hurting(somehow he translated this into "I will wait for you", which I had no idea) and we talked about that and I told him what happened. I'm being called a liar and a cheater.
Should I take any of this seriously? Should I just ignore it? Was I really wrong for what I did?
TL;DR: | My ex-SO is accusing me of cheating on him after we had "broken up" and I don't think I did. What do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24F] with my best friend [24F] who just found out that her fiance [26M] has been texting other girls. How do I help her?
POST: Well, I don't have very many details yet because she just sent me a message about this a half hour ago.
My best friend [24F] is engaged and the wedding is not that far off. But she just sent me a message today that she found iMessages on his computer of him talking to another girl (calling her sexy and hot--she sent a brief screenshot). Apparently he confessed to texting girls asking for nude pictures. She said she thinks the wedding is off.
Apparently he also said that he's a sex addict and that he needs help.
Needless to say, she's in shock as she just found out this morning. She said that she's going to go stay with a friend for a little while.
I honestly don't know if I believe that he's a sex addict. I don't know if she should believe him or if it was the best excuse he could muster up for getting caught. They've had issues in the past of differing sex drives (she wanted sex more often than he did). I guess that's not really a reason to believe or not believe him? I don't know.
I did once receive a weird picture text of him without a shirt on that I ignored and just assumed got sent by accident. Now, I'm kind of wondering what that was about. I probably shouldn't bring that up with her though. Ugh, I just feel so awful about this whole situation.
What can I do/say to help her get through this? Has anyone been in a similar situation? Dealt with a sex addict?
TL;DR: | Best Friend [24F]'s fiance [26M] has been texting girls for nude pictures, got caught, claims he's a sex addict and needs help. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My girlfriend [30F] of a year, recently broke up with me [29m] due to "disconnect" but I think it was for her ex..Can't get over her, HELP!!
POST: My girlfriend of over a year recently moved out and broke up with me. She said she'll always love me but something is missing. The past few weeks leading to the break up, she was acting funny, going through my phone (which is out of her character), questioning me as suspicious and just seemed disconnected.
After our break up I tried to tell her she was making a mistake, as did her friends and all of her family members who all loved me. Nothing changed her mind, she was gone. She said she wanted to remain friends and I rarely agree to that, but I didn't want to lose her completely. She would text me once a week about nonsense. Said she missed me and is reminded of me a million times a day.
After a month of being broken up, her friend told me she is disgusted with her because she now talks to her ex (who is married with two kids), so she would only essentially be a "side chick." One of his friends also told mine that she was talking to him the whole year we were together, that she thinks she's the only girl he sleeps with behind his wife's back, and that she chases him around town acting as if she's his GF. She is labeled as the laughing stock of his friends.
When I approached her about it, she denied everything, said she isn't sleeping with anybody and she doesn't know when she will be ready to. She also stated that they are "just friends" and always will be. She swore on her dead brother's soul that everything above isn't true.
I can't get over her, I feel I still love her and want to believe her. But it all sounds like lies to me with some validity. I feel she can't admit any of it because then she would be labeled a homewrecker.
TL;DR: | Please Help..I can't get over her. Am I being strung along? I truly treated her like GOLD, Will she regret breaking up with me for a married loser? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm not sure if me [21 M] with my girlfriend [20 F] of two years are right for each other
POST: Hi, /r/relationships, first time posting here so apologizing for that in advance. Me and my girlfriend have been dating for two years for now, and things have been alright until the past few months. Basically, me and my girlfriend both are constantly committing microaggressions against each other. We're constantly at each other's throats over little things(one time she yelled at me for forgetting to close her door, I get angry when she won't stop complaining about things neither of us have control over). We communicate very well, and we've talked about all of our problems but they never seem to get better. Basically, I'm not sure if it's a healthy relationship or not and I want to make things better, or end things if it's for the best.
I've honestly been feeling kind of shitty about myself lately, partially over the fact that I get so frustrated with her, and largely over the way she treats me. I'm honestly left feeling like a glorified personal assistant to her a lot of the time. She has me run errands or do things like pack for her whenever she's short on time(almost all of the time). She puts her schoolwork ahead of me, which I understand to an extent, but the only time I see her during the semester really is when I'm doing things for her.
In the end, I'm left feeling broken, lonely, and useless. I don't want to break up with her because almost all of our friends are mutual friends that I met through her that I know I would lose if I broke up with her. I'm not great at meeting new people, so I'd be feeling even lonelier. We also hold extremely high ranking positions in one of the largest student organizations on our campus(100+ members) which would make things even messier.
TL;DR: | What should be a healthy relationship is starting to seem unhealthy. Breaking up would be extremely messy, and I'm not sure what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My Sisters and I[F21, 25 & 30] don't want to spend xmas with our mother [F49] because she has invited her new boyfriend without asking, are we in the wrong? What can be done?
POST: Our mother has been dating this guy since April and none of us are too fond of him. He has a mouth like a trucker, is an avid hunter and just not exactly our cup of tea. We wanted to have a girls Christmas eve and would be happy for him to come in the morning for Christmas breakfast. She is refusing and not budging. She is making us out to seem like the villains as he will have to spend Christmas eve alone. We tried to compromise by opting to spend the eve with our oldest sister and then come over in the morning, but she is pulling the "how dare you" card. We don't exactly know where to go from here and we definitely don't want a Christmas ruined over this. But none of us are just that comfortable with spending the holiday with a stranger.
TL;DR: | Mom invites weirdo boyfriend to Christmas without asking any of my sisters, we're uncomfortable, she's not budging. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25M] with my wife [23F] I put her on pedestal and now she is starting to lose respect for me.
POST: It is a long distance relationship for now because she is in her last year of college. I get to see her once or twice a month. The relationship started great where it was 50/50 and a lot of respect for each other. We communicated on the same level as well. Just like every one else we had arguments but we always talked through them and we were back to "normal".
My mistake was thinking that after a long period of time in serious relationship, you can treat her like princess and put her on a pedestal. I gave her compliments and told her how I felt all the time. I would drop everything I am doing to talk to her. I started talking to my friends who were girls less just so she wouldn't get jealous. Many times throughout the day I think about does she still love me and she is not mad at me. She also mentions her past more often which bothers me a lot. It is getting to a point where it is not about jealousy but about being disrespectful.
How do I bring the relationship back to 50/50 without being disrespectful to her? Should I have a serious conversation with her?
TL;DR: | I put her on a pedestal. The relationship went to 70/30. How do I bring it back to normal without being disrespectful? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23F] with my BF [26 M] 1.5 years, do i have a future with him?
POST: Ok so we have had a very healthy and strong relationship. We communicate well, if we have issues we talk them out right away, and we can talk about anything for hours. I'm ready to at least talk about the possibility of a future with him, like moving in within the next few years maybe.
he has expressed some doubt about taking the next step because he has experienced "getting tired" of me. This has only happened after we have spent a solid 48+ hours together and havent been able to go out to do anything fun so it was mostly just watching movies and hanging out. He's introverted and needs alone time so I say feeling like he needs space after that much time together is totally normal. He has never had a relationship other than ours and has limited relationships to base ours off of. So he thinks wanting to be around each other all the time is what's normal and since he doesn't feel that way he isn't sure if he wants to go to the next step.
I don't know how to tell him that not all relationships are like that. Most that I've been in haven't been like that and I think it's perfectly normal and healthy to want space. He has expressed that he's perfectly happy with where we are right now. and I am too. I don't think we need to move in together within the next year but I would like to know if the possibility is there for down the road.
so how do i ask him about the possibility of a future without making him feel like I want this to happen right away? Is it even worth asking? I love him very much, but my faith in the long term of our relationship has been shaken and it scares me. What do I do?
TL;DR: | He has expressed some doubt about taking it to the next level a few months back. Things have been good since then, as they always have. How can I ask him if a future is a possibility without freaking him out? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Advice needed: How to help a grieving long-distance partner.
POST: I'm 20F, he's 20M, and we've been dating since June 2009 (3 years). I am currently home from college for summer break.
My boyfriend's dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer several years ago, way before I even met my boyfriend. Boy, this man has been putting up one hell of a fight against this horrible disease. He's gone into remission once, and last year it came back. Ever since then, things have gone downhill.
About 2 weeks ago, they found out the cancer had spread to his spine and brain. The docs said they could do a little radiation for the bigger ones in the spine, but not much else.
A couple of days ago, BF's dad was having kidney problems that were causing his legs to swell so he went to the hospital. Something about the meds he was on was causing the kidney problems. They did some radiation.
Today, BF found out that they're taking Dad off the radiation, and that he has anywhere between 3 weeks and 3 months to live. I've been hoping for a miracle, but I don't have a good feeling about it at all.
Now, for the relationship part: Nobody very close to me has ever died, so I'm not sure what to do. And since I'll be going back to college (6 hours away) in a few weeks, it will be difficult or even impossible for me to be physically there for my boyfriend.
I have agreed to help out around his house when I am in town--he has a sister a year younger than him that will also help him and their mother with his two brothers, ages 8 and 6.
So, /r/relationships, what can I do to help him and his family cope that will also work from a distance? I'm thinking of suggesting that maybe he go to some kind of support group in the area, I'm sure that would help.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend's dad has cancer, prognosis is not good, and I'll be moving away soon. What can I do to help? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: My friends and I were ripped off twice at a restaurant we go to on a regular basis by the same waitress. How do we call her out on it?
POST: So my friends and I, all being newbs to the age 21, love to go to happy hours and we frequent one restaurant in particular because they have good prices and are open later than many places in the conservative town we live in. We took my friend there to celebrate his birthday and when we got the bill some people put down cash+tip while my bf paid for us the exact amount we owed on his card minus the tip obviously. We had counted it up beforehand but the waitress came back with the receipts for the credit card and informed us that the cash and the charge on the card only just covered the bill and there was no tip. Now we were mostly all at least tipsy by this point so my boyfriend tipped on the table's bill instead of just ours so we made sure the waitress was tipped well. Fast forward to last night: my bf and I and 6 of our friends went to this restaurant again. Because my bf was getting up early this morning for work, we decided to leave before everyone else but calculated our tab plus tip and left more than enough just in case we missed it by a couple bucks. I received a text this morning from my friend saying we shorted them. I spoke to another friend about it and she informed me that the waitress had been a little shady about it (giving two bills to the table, and then again coming back and saying the table was short). I know that we gave her enough and somebody at the table counted the cash before they handed it over. My friends and I are all servers so we know how to handle splitting and paying a large bill at very little work for the waitress. So after that long background, how do we call her out on it the next time we go in? I know reddit is very good at creative things and I am also very bad at confrontation but I think it is very serious she is ripping customers off like this to get a better tip. So let the suggestions begin.
TL;DR: | Waitress stole tip from my group of friends on two different occasions and I want to call her out on it but need suggestions. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I (16f) approach a guy (18ish?) that works at my local supermarket?
POST: So I have had this massive crush on this guy who works at the deli in my local supermarket. My dad is a regular customer of his, and I'm usually with my dad when he orders so by default I am also a regular haha.
This guy is very shy usually, and I have caught him staring at me and it's too the point where my dad has noticed and pointed it out too, he laughs at the tacky jokes I make and gets very very shy and seemingly nervous when I talk to him directly or make eye contact. Im unsure if he is like this usually, if it's because my dad is with me (who he talks perfectly and without nervousness) or if its because of me?! My interest in him has been getting bigger and I'm having trouble even talking to him anymore.
I have had a crush on this guy for months, a really long time but I have been way too terrified to make any kind of move. I'm really interested but my nervousness is bringing me down and I really would like to take a chance and see what happens.
I see him two-three times a week and I basically die every time I do, I blush like crazy and can't really talk, I make really embarrassing amounts of eye contact and I'm really sure he's noticed I have a crush on him, because my dad has said Its extremely obvious. I giggle like a seven year old and get horrible butterflies when I go to the supermarket, like I'm anticipating seeing him.
I want to ask for his number but I'm horrifically scared, is there a way I can ask for it without making him uncomfortable or creeped out? Is there a way for me to be less nervous and more confident to raise my chances of him actually giving me his phone number and continuing contact? Ugh, I feel like a seven year old!
TL;DR: | have a massive crush on 'deli boy' at my local super market, I want to approach him but my nervousness is ruining me. Help please! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: What the hell should I(27/M) do with her(28/F)?
POST: A little background.
Dated a friends coworker for a year back in 2010 and things ended due to the lack of sex(her religious reasons). I end things abruptly over the phone and go no contact. She sends texts every once and a while asking how im doing etc... but I never respond.
Fast forward three years and I get a random text from her saying she just saw me walk into a bar and wants to know if she can come say hello. I don't know why I agreed but she came and we hung out for a bit. We end up going out to eat a couple weeks later to catch up and it turns out she got a boyfriend a couple months after we stopped talking and has been with him since.
Long story short, we've been hooking up behind his back since June. She keeps telling me how unhappy she is in her relationship and how good we are together, etc... I've always liked the girl and I still do. She's fun and is a hard worker and has a career. Sex is great too.
But she won't make a decision. It has been five months and she keeps saying she is about to do it but its getting harder to believe. She has told my best friend, her old coworker, that we are talking again. Am I the backup guy or is he? Should I just stay away? Am I a scumbag?
TL;DR: | Been seeing old flame for couple months. She has BF who she says she doesn't love anymore and is trying to break it off with but hasn't for several months. Should I run or force her to break up with her BF? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Me [M25] and [F25] have been friends w benefits for 4 months. Things got weird.
POST: Hi!
So a friend and I started to be intimate about four months back and we were fine (no strings attached etc..) with it up until a week or so ago. She said that she might want something more and that she wanted to take some time to feel if that was the case. I was completely oblivious to this, I really didn't think she had any interest in me at all more than sex. So I said sure, let's both take some time to think about how we feel about each other and we'll see what happens. A week pass and we meet. I'm pretty sure that I don't feel anything for her and she tells me that she doesn't want anything more either. I kind of thought I liked her more than I did, it was probably the idea of her that I liked... But now I just feel like she was playing me and I feel tricked and embarrassed. Why would she even bring that up if she was so quick to decide?!
I don't really know what to do now. Just end it, or just keep going? I think I may want something more but I can't decide over something like that in just a week. I've never been in love before.
TL;DR: | Fwb, she decided to see how we felt for each other. She didn't like me, now I feel tricked. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20M] with want to plan a trip with my sort-of ex who is still a friend [19F] but am afraid of awkwardness from it?
POST: So, I spent the summer in another city across the country, and there had a fling with a girl which was pretty nice. We decided not to date afterwards, since I'd be flung back across America, but now me and her and some friends from Albuquerque (where she's from) want to organize a trip over winter break somewhere.
It's fine and dandy, but the question is if I organize a trip now, and I start dating someone else in the next two months before the trip, wouldn't it be awkward to go on a trip with some friends and an ex (who still likes me I think and who I'm on good terms with) without my actual romantic partner? I'm very new to dating this year so I still don't know what to do in situations like this.
TL;DR: | I'm not dating my ex but am on good terms with her, if I start dating someone else, how awkward is it to then go on a trip preplanned with friends and an ex but not a current partner? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [29 M] broke up with my ex fiance [26 F] after she mentioned that she wanted to see her exes child. Am I in the wrong?
POST: So here's the story...
Me and my ex were together previously for 3 years. 3 months after I popped the question, she broke up with me and stated that she was not ready for marriage. It turns out, she started dating someone that she was working with a month after we broke up.
Fast forward to 6 months later, we reconnect and we decide to give things another shot. She mentioned to me that she wants to spend some days with her exes kid and that she really missed the kid and wants him back in her life. She said it has nothing to do with the guy, she wouldn't even be seeing the ex. I told her to decide between the kid or myself, and that I don't want any part of her ex coming in between us. We haven't talked for a week.
Am I in the wrong for breaking up because of this?
TL;DR: | Ex-Fiancee and I hooked back up, turns out she wants to still see her exes kid. I'm not cool with that. Am I crazy? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [29 M] long distance girlfriend [30 F] of 1 year is having an existential crisis and I don't know how to help
POST: So, I have been dating a girl long distance for about a year. It has been fantastic so far... we see each other surprisingly frequently considering how far apart we are and we have active plans to live in the same place (complicated by visas, but we're doing it).
Anyways, last month, for one reason or another, we were both so busy we couldn't talk much (we normally talk all throughout the day and video chat at least once). She was traveling in Asia and I was working on a project that needed 100% of my time. Things were going alright though, we checked in every once in a while and things seemed hard but not terrible.
Then she got home and now she's super depressed and says that the last year she's been making detrimental decisions that weren't adding up to anything in particular. She's having a killer existential crisis and questioning our relationship as well and doesn't want me to fly to her to be with her and help her through this.
She hasn't said anything about breaking up or anything, but I fear that if I'm not able to be with her she'll 'forget' the good times we've had (I've had bad depressions that have lead to things like that). I just don't know how to help her.... I feel like it's just a lot of stress that finally bubbled over, but I'm not sure. We talk now more than we did in April but it's always so solemn and always leaves me worried.
What can I do to help her?! She's incredibly important to me and I just want to help her out.
TL;DR: | Long distance girlfriend of a year is having an existential crisis and I don't know how to help / save the relationship. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: BF[21m] and I[21f] are in a happy relationship but his friends are causing problems
POST: I never thought I would ever be writing to r/relationships but I've gotten stuck in a weird situation and my boyfriend of 6 months (but we've been talking to each other for about a year) and I have no idea what to do.
We're currently in the spring semester of our senior year in college and have had a hard time finding any private time with one another because his roommate (m) and friend from home (f) are mad at us for so called "only going out with each other" when we all go out on the weekends.
This is news to me, considering I never get to hang out with my boyfriend because I'm usually hanging out with the friend from home (f) because she has no other girl friends and I was good friends with his roommate prior to going out with my boyfriend, so I talk to both a lot when I'm out with them. I also encourage my boyfriend to go out without me, but he chooses to stay in even if we're not hanging out together.
My boyfriend confronted them about the situation and they attacked him instead of asking him nicely to spend more time with them. His roommate told him "he's not the same single guy" he was last year and that he "seems miserable" even though my boyfriend is NOT miserable and has told them multiple times that he's never been happier with anyone else before. But when it comes down to it, we always hang out with them. Rarely get privacy. And now that we've made an effort to actually have SOME alone time (we're both very busy during the week with school and work), they are having problems. It sounds like they want us to break up despite us being happy.
Frankly, I just feel like we're in a mature relationship and they can't handle it. For the time being, I don't know how we're supposed to handle this situation. We're both very happy together but being around these other people, one of which lives in his apartment, is not making us feel comfortable with our alone time. How can we fix this situation, or at least try to make it better?
TL;DR: | boyfriend and i are in a happy relationship but his friends are jealous despite us hanging out with them like normal friends and are pissed off at us and have made comments that sound like they want us to break up. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: He's [27/m] not able to ever talk about emotions to me [19/f], he's also not been in many relationships. How do I approach this issue?
POST: So we've just made it official with a verbal confirmation after a month of hanging out and practically being a couple. We also have been talking for 2 months. An issue is he cannot talk about any emotions whatever so ever without being pushed. Which I don't want to push him but sometimes I have things we need to communicate. How do I approach this situation without offending him and so we can come up with a solution? I really really like him, so it's not a deal breaker. I know it can also bring issues later on. I just know I would be way happier with more verbal communication.
TL;DR: | Dude can't talk about his feelings, it will be an eventual problem. How do I nicely bring it up and hopefully solve the issue? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My Female Friend [25F] Recently Asked Me [27M] To Attend Her Friend's Wedding With Her
POST: I have a female friend who, due to her pet chihuahua's [2M] health problems, had to leave him back home with her parents for a month or two. She told me that she wasn't used to sleeping without anyone else in her apartment, and asked me if I would be willing to sleep in the living room on occasion. Furthermore, on a subsequent outing (we went hiking), she asked me if I wanted to attend her friend's wedding in October with her, and she seemed hesitant to ask me, as if the invitation were significant. We're very good friends, but she has told me on several occasions that she doesn't want to date anyone seriously until she finishes her education. I could be dead wrong (as I have been before), but I get the feeling that she's displaying signs of romantic attraction to me, but I wanted to ask the opinion of all of you.
TL;DR: | Female friend wants me to attend her friend's wedding and sleep on her floor, and I wonder if this is just platonic behavior or if she is legitimately interested in dating me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [26F] friend group noticed a friend's [26M] girlfriend [24F] is following us.
POST: I'm in grad school, and befriended a couple of my classmates. One friend, Greg, casually introduced me to his girlfriend, Lia, when our friend group was at a restaurant near our campus.
I noticed Lia started showing up after one of my evening classes. I figured she was passing by after finishing one of her classes.
Then a few days ago, as I'm eating lunch with three friends, I noticed Lia sitting on a bench, reading the paper, but she was wearing sunglasses, and she'd peek over them occasionally to look our way. So I tell my friends and they all try to discreetly look her way and wonder if they should ask her over or...something?
Then one of them mentioned Lia was always around after her 3pm class finished. And then another friend mentioned Lia keeps popping up after their morning classes. Then another friend revealed Lia isn't even a student, she's Greg's high school sweetheart and moved with Greg after he entered grad school and Lia is doing part-time work on the other side of town, so her being on campus after all our classes finished is really odd. Umm...
TL;DR: | One of our friends has a girlfriend who seems to be stalking a number of us. We don't want to start any false accusations, but this is out of left field for everyone. Advice? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Do i find my girlfriend too attractive?
POST: Sorry if this is the wrong subreddit. Im also posting this to r/sex just in case. Lets get started!
Well me and my girlfriend of 3 years are both 18. I find her very very attractive from her head to toes. I could go on all day on how gorgeous she is. I get myself self caught up by thinking about her all day in class and at work. I compliment her all the time you could even say constantly. The thing is that when i do compliment her she says "I look ok". When she says that I can't help but be thrown off. I even got mad a few times we she said it cause that's how perfect i think she is. I told her how i felt and we talked about a few times and we talked about why she says it but it keeps happening.
My question is am i being to childish(lack of better word) by getting upset that she doesn't see her true beauty like I do? If not what can i do to help her see her true beauty?
TL;DR: | Find girlfriend very attractive but she doesn't think the same. Am i being childish by getting upset? What can i do to help her see her true beauty? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Since the way we raise our pets often messes them up, how would a pet dog act if it were a human?
POST: Based on a character for a roleplaying game that never happened, I've been wondering this question.
Basically, a reverse werewolf. A wolf/husky hybrid raised as a pet for a girl who went off to college then becomes a 16 year old girl. Originally the concept was just "how amazed would a dog be if it could do people things, and use hands?" but in search of verisimilitude, I want to know in what ways all the things we do to our animals would effect her.
All I can think is being a little co-dependent, and naive, but eager to learn things like computers and painting.
TL;DR: | Since not everyone is an animal behaviorist, we fuck up raising our pets and give them complexes and neuroses. How would those translate to a human? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [22/f] am a selfish girlfriend, and I get upset when my boyfriend [27/M] hangs out with anyone but me.
POST: Especially when other girls are involved. I hate being like this. How can I change? I've been dating him currently for a little over a year. I get upset when this happens most of the time, although I don't always tell him or make a big deal because realistically I know I shouldn't be worried/upset and I'm embarrassed to even feel this way... but I do. It's like a jealousy/why wouldn't you rather hang out with me combo and it's ridiculous.
Background that I think may be involved with this: I was in an emotionally abusive relationship from age 16-20. This was the only serious relationship I've been in besides this current one. He cheated at 1 year, but my 16 year old brain "loved" him so I stayed. He was demeaning, called me derogatory names, turned everything into my fault, constantly thought I was cheating, we fought all the time, did everything he could to separate me from friends/family (it was usually always just me and him for 4 years, we rarely did anything with other people), he was manipulative etc, etc... I could go on but this post would be too long. Anyways, I feel like my mind has been warped by this and has made me how I am in this relationship now. Constantly worried with anxiety about what he's doing when I'm not there, no matter who he's with. Although it doesn't help that he's in grad school with a lot of attractive girls and goes out with people from his class a lot. I feel like my trust and security have been so fucked by my first relationship that I can't even come back from it, even though it's been almost 3 years and I'm over my ex. Also my self-esteem is shit, so that could very well be my problem in addition to it all. I still don't know what to do about it.
Please, please help me out Reddit. I don't wanna lose this guy, and I need to learn how to fix this.
TL;DR: | I get jealous whenever my boyfriend does things without me, thinking it may have to do with a past abusive relationship and I want to stop feeling like this. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Any of you Redditors ever get vibes about people?
POST: So, long story short-ish, there's this guy that is friends with several of my friends and, while he (heretofore, we'll call him "M") has never given me any reason to dislike or distrust him, whenever I see him all the "primal alarms" in my head start going off. "There's a predator in the room. Run." I hesitate to use the word "aura" because I don't really believe in that sort of thing, but that is really the only characteristic that M has besides a perverted sense of humor that leads me to believe that something is wrong with him. Now, if I was the only person who felt this way, I might be able to just let it go, but I've had at least two people agree with me that he gives them the creeps too. To make things all the more interesting, M has expressed a romantic interest in one of my dear friends (We'll call her "A"). Thankfully A wasn't really interested, but she is also one of the most naive and sweet people that I know, and I was horrified that she could see M as an "older brother" figure.... I'm rambling, aren't I? What I wanted to ask was:
1. Does anyone have any advice for me, as far as how to deal with the awkward situations that arise when M is present at social events hosted by mutual friends of ours? He's never given me any reason to dislike him, and I don't want to be mean since I'm not sure if my reason for wanting to avoid him is all that concrete.
2. Does anyone have any similar stories they'd like to share? You know, first impressions not lining up with behavior, but an unshakable feeling that something's not quite right.
TL;DR: | Creeper that I'm not sure is a creeper is too close to my friends for my comfort. Help?! |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Question about overpayment in salary.Texas
POST: Ok so the person I am asking about works on something like commission. I guess in lawyer terms think of it as something like billable hours.
As far as I can tell, the past 7-9 months in paychecks are being overpaid according to what this person is producing. Usually the amount is 10-15% but sometimes 40-50%.
We've asked the person that oversees this and they have excuses that don't seem to adequately explain why.
Overall it's 10's of thousands of dollars.
What concerns me is that there was a similar situation where the boss claimed that an employee that wanted to leave the company gamed the system and there fore the boss "forced" the employee to stay longer than was required in order to pay back all the money he had "gamed" out of the system.
The problem is the boss is very very manipulative and I wouldn't be surprised if the boss overpaid him just like this situation.
What are the rules for overpayment and can a boss require someone to stay if they knowingly overpaid and the employee tried to correct the problem.
TL;DR: | Getting overpaid for past several months. Suspect boss is manipulating the system to manipulate employee.Can the company force an employee to stay and repay overpayment? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Why do so many people use AdBlock?
POST: (*Just for clarification. I do not have any products/services that are funded by advertising. So this isn't anything personal; I am sincerely wondering*)
There's a few things that frustrate me with this, simply because I don't understand people's logic with it.
People seem to want things on the web for free, complain about subscription based services but also complain about any ads at all. People who know about adblock tend to use it to block as many ads as possible, not just bad ones (I'll elaborate more on what I mean by bad ones in another paragraph).
Just to clear some things up: I have met a few people that think "*If I'm not going to click on the ad, it doesn't make a difference if I block it or not*" which is completely untrue. Websites/webservices make money from impressions (i.e: the advertisement being loaded on your machine) and they only make **more** money from you clicking on it. So by blocking the ad and not letting it load, you are not allowing the provider to gain anything from your use.
One example of what I think a bad advertisement is:
Reading an article and after about 30 seconds a full page advertisement pops-up blocking the content for a few seconds, and then I have to find where I was again. Giving the content, then taking it away interupting the user's experience; that shit is not cool. I would block an advertiser that does stuff like that, or most likey, just not go back to the site.
Good ads, in my opinion are like youtube. There's a little pop-up down the bottom of the screen that is transparent, doesn't take away from the experience, and you can minimise it. There is also occasionally one in the side bar. You do sometimes get the one before the video begins, but again, this isn't interrupting the video and most of the time you can skip it after 5 seconds.
(
TL;DR: | ) So, yeah, why do people want things for free but won't allow ads to load which would support the product/service being free? Can someone explain the logic behind it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [35 F] meeting girlfriend [?? F] of friend [27 M] and not sure how to handle it.
POST: After many, many months of having strong feelings for my guy friend (okay, more than a year) Z [27 M], I realized that life is too short and I need to do the right thing, so a few weeks ago, I broke up with my boyfriend Y [25 M] (who I live with) to pursue things with Z.
Well, I was too late. Z has a new girlfriend. So it seems shitty of me to try to bring up my feelings for him now, and I haven't.
There is a gathering planned later in the week Z's house. His new girlfriend may be there. I need some advice on a few things.
1. How do I not let myself be a complete mope because I'm upset about her being there? (How do I best keep my internal heartbreak from becoming visible to all?)
2. How do I be nice to her? I mean, she didn't know I just ended a relationship to be with her new boyfriend and thus hasn't done anything wrong, but it's hard not to be resentful.
3. And this is the hard one...and also, unrelated to the more imminently important #1 and #2... Am I wrong? Should I tell Z (obviously NOT at this event) how I feel?
TL;DR: | May I please have a little social advice on how to keep my feelings about the man I left my boyfriend for (who got a girlfriend in the meantime) private at a social event where she might be in attendance? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [21/f] been dating this guy [24/m] for two months and am a bit concerned about some stuff...
POST: So, we've dated before. We dated for a little while when I was 19, he was 22. I was a lot more naive then. But during the course of that relationship, I went on a trip to NYC with my family for four days and when I came back he was acting totally different, broke up with me within a week and was back together with his ex three days after that (on Facebook and everything) and while I was in NYC he went to a concert with her, so there's pretty good evidence he might have cheated on me.
We started seeing each other again in late February and things were going really well. I was more mature and he seemed to be too. But, I have concerns because I've seen his ex's name pop up on his phone texting him on a semi-consistent basis. This is the same ex he dumped me for last time, too. I don't read the texts she sends. He makes a pretty conceited effort to not open them in front of me, but he accidentally did the other day and all I caught was "We still on for..."
He's been really stressed about his job lately and has had some problems with money. But the other thing is we haven't been intimate like we used to be either. He always has some sort of excuse like he's tired or not in the mood.
TL;DR: | Guy I've been dating has been texting ex girlfriend, possibly hanging out with her. He's dumped me for her before. Been acting really distant lately and I dunno what to do if he won't open up to me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22F] with my mother[53F] , grandmother with dementia gave her some of my jewelry and she refuses to give it back [non-romantic]
POST: My mother left to go live out of the country when I was 7 and couldn't afford to take care of me so I was left to live with two aunts and my grandmother. One day when I was playing in outside I found a gold 14k ring but one of my aunts took it from me for safekeeping until I was older. My aunt moved away and the ring along with my other gold jewelry was kept in my grandma's jewelry given that I was too young to have it in my possession. Around 10 years old I moved back with my mom but I didn't bring the jewelry with me. Two years ago my grandma who now has dementia came to visit, wearing some of my jewelry. I confronted my grandma in a polite way but she was so demented she didn't remember it was mine. Now I had always looked forward to finally wearing that ring I found cause it's gorgeous and I am very attached to it
I was at my moms house and she is kind of a messy almost hoarder type of person. She has these jars of junk on the windowsill full of random crap like broken pens she won't throw away and nails, screws. In one of these jars I found the ring again! I asked my mom about it and told her the story of how I found it. She told me Grandma had given it to her and so now it's hers because it will remind her of my grandma. I was visibly upset and said it wasn't fair since it wasn't hers to give. My mom got mad and threw the ring at me and told me to have it but took it back the very next day and started wearing it around. I normally wouldn't care about a simple ring but I am very attached to it and she obviously didn't even care enough to put it in a safe place. The thing that angers me the most is that she always comes into my room and borrows my favorite pieces of jewelry and either keeps then or returns them broken and I just really don't want her to treat that ring the same.
TL;DR: | Grandma gave her a ring that belonged to me and she refuses to return it. I am very attached to the ring |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Honest question; of governments are allowed to hire military contractors, is there anything stopping an NGO from hiring them to catch a wanted war criminal?
POST: With all the Kony business, my friends and I were talking [7] and my friend challenged me to think about how we would physically go after someone if we absolutely needed to.
My friend, lets call him mark because that's his name, pondered and asked, 'what is actually stopping us from getting on a plane with a hundred people and trying to capture him?'
My other friend, lets call him nick (not his real name), responded "isn't that the whole reason he surrounds himself with armed child soldiers."
Me and mark; "Oh yeah..."
Then nick, clearly wearing the most reasonable head at the time asks, "so, what's to stop a site like Reddit (yes they are redditors, obviously) from amassing a chunk of money like they did for the orphanage, and hire some ex SAS commando sniper team to take the guy out?"
I asked; "Well, why doesn't a charity just do that?"
...
TL;DR: | So Reddit; whats to stop a charity from hiring a private military contracting company and going after war criminals? Or even just placing a bounty on a criminals head big enough to attract the "right" people? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (22F) boyfriend (26M) haven't said I love you after being together for 8 months
POST: We have been together for a very happy 8 months. Very affectionate, communicative couple. Spend almost all of our free time together. Met each other's families, gone on numerous trips together. Vaguely discussed the future. And we always tell each other how happy this relationship makes us. But there has been no use of the "l-word"
For a little background, we met right after he broke off an engagement. He wasn't necessarily looking for a serious relationship, but we clicked pretty quickly and there was no turning back. A few times, he's wanted to slow down, but then after the conversation, we both realize that things were naturally progressing well.
He also is the aggressor (for lack of a better term) in the relationship, (aka the more affectionate, vocal one) so just based on our short relationship, he would DEFINITELY be the one to say it first.
Should I be concerned?
TL;DR: | Boyand I have been together for a happy 6 months, but have not told each other that we're in love, despite all the obvious signs |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by poking fun at a coworkers friend's death
POST: So unlike most of the stories here, this actually happened today. Anyway, I work at a restaurant and everyday I have to roll silverware before I can go home. So I'm in the back, rolling silverware along with a pretty cute girl. Were talking and she asks me if I know a student who recently died in a car accident. This is the conversation:
"So, do you know John Doe?"
I reply "Oh, isin't he the guy who died in a car accident or some shit?"
Now stop the tape right here. Any normal person would have realized at this point that they were being extremely rude. But nope. Not me. My dog brain decides to continue on.
"Yeah, I'm going to his funeral tomorrow."
So my idiot mouth opens and says: "Oh, well tell him I said hi!" As cheerful as could be.
She says "......I will." and walks away.
It took me a good 2-3 minutes to realize that A: she used to be friends with him and B: I just made fun of his death. She came back and I apologized but she just said "I don't care." So yeah, I fucked up.
TL;DR: | Asked if I knew classmate who died. Dog brain kicks in. Asked her to "Say hi to him" for me. Facepalmed all the way home. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by not taking my little brothers advice
POST: Today, about three hours ago, I done F'ed up. My brother specifically told me not to climb cliffs anymore, but I did anyways. I went to a local park area by a waterfall with a few of my friends and, after climbing under the bridge, we decided to climb a rock face.
We found what we thought to be a good spot kinda in the middle of nowhere. We were already about 80 feet up or so and the face was just another twenty. No big deal. I decided to go first because I wanted to make sure it was safe. I got about ten feet up then realized that a lot of the footholds/hand grips were kinda loose.
I yelled to my friend that I was gonna come down, then mister hornet showed up. My hand slipped and I accidently smacked him so, in return, that motherf*cker stung me in the hand. (I'm deathly allergic to bees) and so I decided to speed up my decent. Well, my foot slipped. Then my hand slipped. Then I feel backwards onto rocks and trees trying to grab something so I wouldn't die. When I realized I wouldn't be able to stop my momentum I pushed off the cliff to try and make it into the river. I ended up closing my eyes and thinking I'm dead before I back-flopped into three feet of water. I stood up, looked around and said, "fuck that hurt." I was rushed to the ER where I found out mister hornet bit me rather than stung me and that I was super lucky to be alive.
TL;DR: | my brother told me to stop climbing cliffs, I ignored him and proceeded to fall almost a hundred feet off said cliffs. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU and told my mums friend about her Arsonist past.
POST: So my mum had been out and about socializing recently and She has been making some new friends, my mum mentioned that I fixed Laptops and such to one of them and so they came round to my house to get a repair done.
While I was waiting on a fresh windows install to finish we were sitting talking about my mum. I mentioned that my mum used to be quite the drinker but she's calmed down a lot in recent years. Her friend then turned to me and out of nowhere said, "Well it's not like she's burned your house down or anything".
It would be good to mention at this point in the story that my mother did in fact burn my house down, when an Argument with my father got a little heated (No pun intended) some 19 years ago. She served time as a result.
So my response to this was a loud and cheery "Too Late!!" assuming my mum had told her new friend her past and all was good with the world.
"what?" was her friends response?
Me: "Y'know.. the house... she told you right?"
Her: "What about it?"
Me: "That she uh...burned it down once on a drunken bender".
Her: "......"
The laptop is fixed and not much was said after that, her pal wasn't much for talking after that conversation. I ain't heard from my mum but I hope I ain't done any lasting damage to her friendship.. me and my big f'n mouth.
TL;DR: | Accidentally told mums new friend about the time my mum got drunk and burned our house down so my dad had nowhere to live. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: How should I (24/f) handle this comment my bf (32/m) made on FB about another woman months ago?
POST: Several months ago my bf made a comment on another womans facebook photo "words fall short, in any language." This comment was made just a few days after we made love for the first time. This woman was a former friend of his. He deleted her off his fb after he realized that what he did hurt my feelings. One night we were sitting at his computer & he was showing me pictures of his friends. This one in particular was a burlesque dancer & he proceeded to show me sexy pictures of her. He saw the look on my face & apologized. I didn't ask him and told him that if he wants to delete people it's up to him, but he took the liberty of deleting her himself.
This comment made me upset for several reasons
a) Shouldn't those words be reserved for his lover?
b) Why can't I find other men as attractive or even more attractive than my bf? I'm upset that it seems like I have eyes for only him.
c) Had the shoe been on the other foot, he would've flipped out. He would've demanded that I unfriend them if I hadn't already, that he go through my FB & text messages & emails to ensure that I'm not still talking to that person. He would've fought with me for hours to 2 days. He has jealousy issues as well but he is more aggressive about them.
I am pretty sure I'm in the wrong but I can't shake this feeling. I am feeling really hurt and jealous that he would speak that way about another woman while he was with me. Advice on how to handle this please! :)
TL;DR: | Bf said "words fall short, in any language" to another woman on fb and this was done a few days after we made love for the first time. this comment was made in mid January. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: It's my [25 M] birthday and I can't tell if I'm being unappreciate or if my disappointment with my GF [23 F] is warranted
POST: Today is my 25th birthday. I've been with my girlfriend for ~2.5 years now. Today she gave me my present, a 5x5 watercolor painting she made of me and my cat last night. Believe me when I say that I'm not an overly materialistic person, and I truly am a believer in 'It's the thought that counts.' But I guess my problem is that I just don't see too much thought in this gift.
I know her work, she is a truly talented artist. This just looks so rushed and uninspired. It's small, poorly detailed, the proportions are off and she clearly made mistakes and didn't feel like starting over. She painted my eyes dark brown. My eyes are blue. There was no card or note, it was hastily thrown in a cheesy gift bag. She painted it last night and bought a small frame for it this morning. I don't want to be that guy that isn't satisfied with a birthday gift, but I can't help but wonder how important I really am to her if after nearly three years in each other's lives she doesn't even know what color my eyes are.
If it was from just a friend, I would loved to have received this (or any) gift. But she's my girlfriend, in a serious relationship, and if I plan on spending the rest of my life with her, I just want to know that she genuinely cares. Am I being unappreciative? I'm hoping for genuine opinions from people on the outside looking in. I feel awful for even caring at all, I truly wish I didn't.
TL;DR: | It's my birthday, and my girlfriend's gift to me, amongst other things, has me worried about her feelings for me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [24M] Boyfriend [26M] of a year has brought up some ideas of an open relationship, and now I'm scared he'll cheat on me
POST: So I met *Ben* about a year ago through friends. Cue normal relationship. But recently he has been talking about a situation where we sleep with other people, whether that be together or apart.
Now the thing is I'm not really the open relationship kind of guy. Its happened before and I really didn't like it, it ended a previous relationship.
But the problem is how I said no. I gave him a soft yes initially but then after thinking about it I really didn't like the idea. I started dropping subtle hints that maybe I wasn't into it before giving him an outright no last week. He looked hurt and annoyed, but said he was fine with it.
Now I am really scared he is just going to end it, or worse string me along and then end it by cheating. I don't know what to do.
TL;DR: | BF wants to make our relationship more open, I said no badly and now I'm scared he is going to cheat on me or end it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25F] with boyfriend [27M] of 1 month. Unsure if he lacks experience or is not into me.
POST: I met a guy on a dating app about two months ago and learned that he did not have a lot of dating/relationship experience. Although he has dated over the years, he has only been in one relationship, several years ago, that did not last very long (< 1 month) and ended abruptly.
We get along well when we're hanging out together, but when we're not together, I feel like he forgets I exist. He does not call me and texts infrequently. He is not verbally affectionate, and it is hard to gauge whether he likes me or not, which has led to me feeling insecure about myself. In addition, recently, I've felt he has been less enthusiastic to make plans with me.
I've talked to several friends about this, and they think I am being too understanding/patient with him. I tend to use his lack of experience to excuse a lot of his behavior when I talk to my friends. For example, when we were hanging out with his friends last week, he made no effort to integrate me into the conversation and interacted with his friends as if I was not there. A few times, I've arrived at his apartment to find that he went to go run an errand even though he knew I was on my way.
My friends think I should end things with him because I spend a lot of time feeling uncomfortable in my uncertainty in relation to him. I went from someone who was independent and confident in who she was to feeling lethargic and somewhat down on the days I don't see him, wondering why he doesn't call or text or seem interested in me/my life. The things like consistent communication and verbal affection (idk, just a simple "thinking of you" or "I really like you" text message) that are important to me-- and have been a given in my past relationships-- are missing now and I am unsure if that is a function of this guy's lack of experience or his lack of care about me. I don't know how to talk to him about this or if I even should.
TL;DR: | Can't tell if new boyfriend does not know how to be a boyfriend or does not like me as much as I like him; unsure how to proceed. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [30 M] with my date [28 F], second date, no dating experience,and a little anxious
POST: Hi,
so, a little background. I have almost no dating experience, and almost no sex/kissing experience (not a virgin, but... by one time only). I have no problem talking to guys or girls as friends, but when I start getting closer to a girl that I like, I kind of freeze and don't manage to go further. I try to work on that, and am getting better (I think) but it's definitely not perfect yet.
I met a girl on tinder last week, some chatting, she's smart, funny, and we clicked. We had a first date, and she was clear that she had a very good time. We are meeting again tomorrow, and I'm getting a little nervous : nt so much about the conversation, that part is ok, but about the physical part. I know that the "should I kiss her?" question depends on the situation and on her, but with my very limited experience, I'm afraid to go for it and maybe misread the signals, and also of not being good at it :/
We have not talked about past relationships, but if it goes further, should I tell her that I'm very inexperienced(at both dating and kissing/having sex) before anything physical happens? or "fake it till you make it"?
Also, girls, would you expect a guy to kiss you after a second date (assuming there a good feeling between us)?
TL;DR: | no experience at dating, and almost zero at kissing and having sex, and a little anxious on how to go on with a second date after a very nice first one |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: The Girl Who Cried Wolf
POST: So, there's this girl at my school who had a sexual relationship with a friend of mine. It ended badly, very badly. Mainly, she outright told him that he would accuse him of raping her. Luckily, he had text messages of her literally begging him for sex and telling him that she would go to the police with the false rape accusation. So nothing ever came of that. Recently, she's using her ask.fm to accuse another guy at our school of having raped her. Based on past evidence, she's probably lying and screwing some poor sap out of a future. Still, some of the comments on her ask.fm are just as disgusting, calling her a whore and slut, or telling her to just get over it. Remember, these people don't know about the other would have been rape accusal. So, they think this a girl who's been raped, who though admittedly slutty, and they are mocking her. I feel conflicted about this, because their reactions disgust me, but I know she's probably lying. And I'm not entirely sure who's more disgusting, the rape culture or the girl calling wolf.
As a final disclaimer, it's possible she really was raped, but based on her interaction with my friend, it probably isn't. This is the sole reason I'm posting this here and not calling her out, because if she really was raped, then I feel like a horrible person. However, anonymously, I can rant about it without accidentally emotionally damaging a girl who truly went through a traumatic experience.
TL;DR: | Disgusting reactions to a girl who was raped, but I know that she's probably full of shit and is making it all up. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [32M] tall and fit, my GF[25F] is short and overweight and super insecure about it
POST: I've been seeing my current GF for 5 months now and I am completely enamored. She is pretty much the greatest human being I've ever met. Our only problem is her immense insecurity regarding our physical differences. I'm tall, 6'1'', in shape (former underwear model in my 20s), she's 5'4'' and full figured. Physically she's the polar opposite of all my ex's. They've all been 5'8'' and above, skinny, with big(ish) breasts. She is constantly insecure about how we look as a couple. People are sometimes surprised we're together and I know it makes her self conscious. She's afraid she's not attractive enough for me and worries I'll cheat on her. But this couldn't be further from the truth. I pretty much want to have sex with her all the time. I love touching her, being close to her, I think of her all day. She is the sweetest, most caring and thoughtful woman I've ever been with. It's only been 5 months but I'm 80% sure I'm marrying this person and getting her pregnant. I know it'll take time for her to feel comfortable and secure, I just really worry it'll damage our relationship.
TL;DR: | my GF is insecure of how we look as a couple. She's short and full figured, I'm tall and fit. I'm worried her insecurity will damage our relationship. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Accidentally Forced My Friend to Out Himself to Me
POST: One of my new friends, who I've just recently began to hang out with has never been on a date. So, I thought I would set him up on sort of a 'practice date' with one of my friends so that if he ever does meet the right person, he'll have a bit of experience under his belt. He was unwilling to text her to get to know her. (He's pretty introverted and nonsocial so I thought I would just keep pestering him about it.) He finally just flat out told me that he won't because he's gay. I reacted horribly to say the least. I exclaimed over text that I knew he was gay. I feel horrible that I had made him feel so uncomfortable that he felt that he had to come out to me. To top it all off, I'm about 90% positive that I had told him a homophobic joke not a half hour before all of this. I'm not homophobic, I generally tell jokes that are in 'bad taste' because I have a disgusting sense of humor, not because I'm a homophobe or racist. I feel horrible that I might have accidentally hurt his feelings. How can I apologize to him and show him that him being gay doesn't change how I feel about him? After he brought it up, I told him that he's still more than welcome to go on a summer trip with the rest of our friends and still stay in the 'guys'' room of the hotel with us. I've also told him that if any body gives him shit about being gay to just tell me and that I'd bash their face in. He responded with a thanks, but sarcasm is hard to read over text messages.
TL;DR: | I accidentally forced my friend to come out to me after telling him a homophobic joke and now I feel horrible. Any way to make it up to him and show him that I didn't mean it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Does anyone else feel that even if you don't like the president or a person of high stature, you should still give them a lot of respect?
POST: What I'm trying to say is that people talk about how Obama should be killed or whatever just because they don't like him. I was always taught that someone like the president, even if you don't agree with what they say, should still be treated with respect because of the fact that he is president. Personally I never cared for Bush but if I had ever met him, I would shake his hand and treat him with as much respect as I could. It just seems like people today show too little respect for people who should be held with respect.
TL;DR: | Should the president be respected BECAUSE he is the president or has that train of thought vanished in today's times? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Pretty sure I just said the worst thing possible to a girl
POST: So I was just over at this girl's apartment for the first time and we were studying. I'm totally in to her and I think she's in to me (we have been hanging for a while, we flirt, etc). Well, when I went to leave, she came out to, probably because her roommates where still inside. We did the usual, "Cya tomorrow" goodbyes and then I just kinda left after that. But they whole time I was thinking, "I should kiss her, I should kiss her, this is totally my change.", but I just kind of chickened out and left.
And then the worst part came. As I was driving home, feeling terrible, I sent her a one word text, "awkward", kind of as a joke to sort of mellow things out. But I mean really, come on? What was I thinking?
And then I texted her saying "wow wtf am i saying? jk"
And then later I just basically sent her text saying that we should meet up tomorrow to study some more.
She hasn't texted me back.
Reddit, my question for you is, is this relationship still salvageable? What should I do to make things better? Should I even mention this?
TL;DR: | After failing to go in for a kiss, I texted this girl a sort of joke message: "awkward." She hasn't replied back. Ugh what should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [21/M] finally met a girl [19/F] but I'll be moving 2500mi away soon
POST: I've been seeing this girl for 6 weeks now, it's my first relationship and I'm nuts about her as she is me. She is a freshman and I am a senior graduating this semester.
I'm in Florida but I have a job in Silicon Valley which I worked very hard to get and that I feel is going to beneficial to my career (software development). But this happened before I met this girl, and now I'm feeling confused about actually broaching the topic with her and what that might mean for us.
On the one hand, I don't expect her to hand down any ultimatum, but on the other hand I don't know how to talk about this without making it seem like I'm choosing the job over her, or something like that. Right now I have a remote job working with a company I'm not thrilled about and won't do much for my career.
The way I see it I can either leave for California or stay in Florida, either sacrificing my job or my relationship (because either we'd break up or try a long distance thing which I've heard horror stories about). I'm curious to see what perspective I could get on this matter
TL;DR: | Either I go to California for a good job or stay in Florida with my girlfriend, who has 3 years left in college |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I [19M] am dating a coworker [17F] and I'm uncomfortable with a few aspects of the relationship.
POST: We met through our job about 5 months ago, and hit it off immediately. We've been "officially dating" as she calls it for about a week. But unofficially we've been sleeping together and whatnot for almost two months. She just went back to school this week (she's still in high school) and it was a jarring realization of our age difference. That was the first thing I got uncomfortable about.
Second, I'm looking to get promoted at work soon, and while none of our coworkers really know about us, they all have their suspicions. I obviously can't continue the relationship if I get promoted because I'll be directly above her in the chain of command. I'm aware I probably shouldn't have started dating someone I work with, everyone told me not to, but I didn't think it was that big of a deal as long as we were both in the same position job-wise. I'm really not sure how to continue.
TL;DR: | Dating a coworker, might get promoted and be her boss. Also I feel like I'm way older than her. What do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [16F] Boyfriend's [16M] Sister [21F] Hates Me
POST: I've been dating this boy for 3 months and we go to eachothers houses like 2-3 times per week. I feel nervous whenever I go to his house because his older sister kind of hates me. When I first met her she pretty much interrogated me, she was asking questions about like my age, if I'm religious, if I've had a bf before, how I came to US (my family is Colombian but I've lived in US since I was little) and I felt she was implying that my family were illegal immigrant, and at the end of it she said something like don't hurt him or I'll hurt you and she laughed during it as if that were a normal or funny thing to say, but it made me feel really afraid. Whenever I see her she asks me what's new and stuff and it makes me feel nervous because I don't know what to say and I feel awkward around her. Then a couple weeks ago we were helping with some outdoor work and I had a difficult time lifting something and she started laughing at me and it made me feel embarrassed, she thinks I am like weak and incompetent. I've over heard her talking to her friend and she said that I'm "anorexic" when I'm not. One time that was the worst is when my boyfriend and I were having a fight and my bf was ignoring me for a few days and not responding to all my texts and calls, so I knocked at their door and she answered and told me to stop being so obsessive and leave him time alone. And she seemed pissed at me. I haven't told my boyfriend about how I feel about his sister because I don't want him to talk to her because then she might cause conflict with me. And there isn't much he could say anyway because she is the older one so she thinks she can do whatever she wants. Does it sound like she hates me? Is her behavior normal? I'm an only child so I'm not familiar with siblings dating and stuff like that.
TL;DR: | My boyfriend's older sister hates me and I feel nervous around her. She has implied I'm illegal immigrant, anorexic, weak, etc and asks me confronting questions. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How do you transition from one job to the next, while keeping the first job in the meantime?
POST: In case the title isn't clear, let me explain!
I'll keep the long story short, but while I was in college I started working as a Barista at a Brunch restaurant, one of the best in a very large American city (#2 on Zagat, Michelin rated). Over then next four years, I slowly became a manager, but I'm not really paid well enough for what I do, I don't *love* food, and since it's owned by two men, there's really only one position up from me. So enough about that - restaurant job I'm good at, well liked, but can't grow anymore at, two years after graduation.
So I've been applying to other jobs - the latest being a promising job with Apple, where I've got interviews for a management program. However, it involves a week of three several hour long interviews, where I have to get people to cover my shifts (i never stopped being a Barista, and they can live without me for a day, but I'm there 90% of the time)
One of them knows what I'm doing, and he's covering for me because he's supporting me. My one manager above me is an old coworker and friend from a previous job. I don't think I want to owners to know, but since it's a rumor mill, I kind of want no one to know.
Did I make a mistake saying anything to anyone? It did get me some sympathy and support. Does anyone have advice?
TL;DR: | It's time for me to grow up and get a grown up job, but it can't cost me the one I have in the mean time. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My[F18] boyfriend[M18] is talking to the girl he cheated with..
POST: Throwaway because he knows my account..
About a month ago, my boyfriend kissed his ex girlfriend. They had dated for maybe 2 years and they were best friends for years before that.
He had gotten a call from her in the middle of the night because she was upset, had a bad dream, yada yada yada. This was probably 1am. Without question he drives over there to comfort her. Anyways, at this time, I don't think she knows we are dating. The way he explains it is that she out of nowhere just kisses him and tells him that she "just needed to know." Like she needed to know if there was anything between them?
Anyways, found out, was pissed, but forgave him. I trusted him and believed him. He said he just stood there shocked. I also read texts from her later saying she just had to know and now she knows there is nothing and it was kind of like a goodbye. He said they were basically done.
Anyways, recently he has been talking to her. I think he's been kind of hiding the fact he's been talking to her? I found out because while he was showing me something on his phone he got a text from her. I didn't read the text, I didn't care to. He instantly knew I was mad, but he kind of just seem annoyed and blew it off. He really won't talk about it, but it's not like I push it. I'll tell him I'm mad, and he knows why, but it just ends there. Am I overreacting? Should I not be mad? I know she was a big part of his life, I get that. I'm just hurt. I know she is dating someone now, so maybe I shouldn't be mad?
TL;DR: | My boyfriend is talking to his ex girlfriend who he met in the middle of the night and kissed him. Am I overreacting? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 F] with my ex-bf [24 M] My ex still wants me to move with him to his country. I don't want to. I will be visiting him for ~3 months this summer. A mutual friend informed me of his plans to convince me to change my mind, how can i get him to understand it's not going to happen?
POST: My ex-bf and I dated for around 3 years. He was my first real relationship and js still one of my best friends. We got along perfectly and the relationship was pretty solid. We broke up in aug '12 since he graduated and had to move back home to Spain. He wanted to stay together long distance but since I personally am not a fan of ldr's we wound up breaking up. Since then we are still very good friends. I visit him a every summer and we talk almost every day. Since breaking up I have dated other people and he knows this. I thought that keeping him up to date w/ my love life would be enough to make it clear that we are not getting back together but I just found out that he is planning to try to convince me to stay w/ him in Spain during my trip this summer. I am graduating in May and he knows that I plan on going to law school after. There is no chance of me giving up my plans for my career to move to a country where I don't even speak the language. I thought he understood this since he would not be willing to give up his place in his families company to move to the states. B/c of the fact that neither of us is willing to move permanently, there is no chance of us getting back together or having a relationship. How can i get him to understand this? Since we broke up he has been dating as well. He has a gf now who he has been with for 3 months and I thought that meant that he finally accepted that we are over. Apparently that is not the case. I am considering canceling my trip for this summer but I want to see his family since I havent spoken to them in awhile and i already payed for my trip and requested vacation time from work.
TL;DR: | ex-bf wont give up trying to convince me to move to his country. How can i finally drill it into his head that it will never happen? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [17/f] My Boyfriend [15/m] Broke Up With Me & Is Spreading Rumors About Me?
POST: My boyfriend of 8 months broke up with me last weekend, and now he's spreading rumors about me around school. He's saying that I'm psycho/crazy and a bunch of stuff. What happened that led to the breakup is that some girl was texting him saying flirty stuff, he wasn't flirting back but she wasn't being appropriate at all and she knew he had a girlfriend.
I read some of these texts, I didn't go through his phone or anything. He left it in his room when he was in another and he got a text and I was going to bring it to him but it was from a girl so I just checked it. I didnt respond but I texted her from my phone and asked who she was and why she's texting my boyfriend and she told my boyfriend that i read their conversation and texted her.
Then he asked me about it and I just said I was worried and he said I'm overprotective and crazy and stuff and I got really upset with him and he broke up with me. I want to try to stay together but he pretty much hates me now, and he still talks to this girl, i saw in his twitter messages thing and I don't want them to end up dating or something. What can I do about the rumors and this whole situation?
TL;DR: | My boyfriend broke up with me for texting a girl that was sending flirty stuff to him, and he's telling prople that i'm crazy and stuff. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21F] with my[20 F] 5 months, not sure what I'm feeling anymore
POST: We started dating about 5 months ago.
She's sweet, intelligent, pretty, all the 'good' qualities one would generally look for. Lately i've been getting very irritable and frustrated with her. We've had a couple things we had to sit and sort out but I don't know if I have patience anymore.
I recently moved away from a roommates and got my own place. She got excited because she assumed she would move in. I said I didn't think it would be good for our relationship, but now she is living with me. (very recent, 3rd week living together now).
I now feel like I pay for everything (she has a retail job that maybe schedules her 4 hours a week), and instead of being in a relationship I just feel like her caregiver in a sense.
I also have a very nonexistent sex drive while I can see the disapointment on her face each night I say goodnight. I now am to the point where I have to force myself to kiss her back, and those are just pecks.
The issue I'm having is I know I am not physically attracted to her anymore, and I know that I don't see a future with us, but I also don't want to lose her company or break her heart.
I feel that if maybe I wait it out things may get better but as of right now I know i'm not really treating her the absolute best I could and that's not fair to her.
TL;DR: | can't get my feelings in check, confused on if I should end it or wait it out a bit more. has anyone else been through this process and what was your outcome? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [23/F] think he [37/M] might be the one. What will people think of our age difference?
POST: My boyfriend [37/M] and I [23/F] have been dating for 2 months, and although it's still early in the relationship, we have amazing chemistry and are mentally very compatible. He is emotionally supportive, makes me laugh, and I could see myself having a future and starting a family with him someday. However, I am worried about how others will see our age difference (14 years).
He and I worked together (and still do) for about 6 months before he asked me out, and I had never really thought about his age, since age is not a big issue for me in relationships, but I assumed he was about 30-35. When he told me he was 37, I was a bit shocked. Although his age is definitely not a dealbreaker for me, I worry about friends and family members judging or disapproving of our relationship solely due to the age gap. And in the long term, I worry about the fact that I would likely outlive him by a lot. I would be in my mid-50s when he is approaching 70. I will still be very active at this age and he likely wouldn't be, and I'm not sure how this would play out.
Although neither of my parents have met him yet, my mother already knows about the age difference and is outwardly accepting of it. My father doesn't know, and I am sure that initially it will bother him. How should I broach this topic with my father? What kinds of reactions should I expect from friends and family members? Does anyone else here have experience with a similar age difference on the long term and have advice to give?
TL;DR: | I love my new boyfriend dearly, but he's 14 years older and I don't know how to break this to my family, or what reactions to expect from others. Does anyone have experience with this to share? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (21y/o) has been going out with this lovely girl (20y/o). There is one problem I encountered. Would be great if there are advises.
POST: This girl has been keeping me at the line with her parents, where nothing should not go beyond that line. Her parents knew of my existence merely as a close friend, and they don't allow her to go out with boys.
She had to lie to her parents every time we go on a date, and so on. Guilt comes inevitably to her because she cannot simply lie to her parents anymore. This didn't just happen out of nowhere, as it built up from a long long time ago, and the pressure on her from herself and her parents are consuming her.
I've been trying very hard for her ever since the whole thing took off. Everyday, to keep the flames alive and burning high. But the pressure on her does seem too much for a 20 year old girl to handle. What I suggested was that, she should ask her parents about having a relationship or just seeing a guy, as the parents did not explicitly say no to a relationship but indications that suggest that a relationship is not advised at all.
So now she is torn apart and forces herself into choosing between me and her parents. The answer is very obvious, but then i felt this is whole problem is something so petty to end the entire relationship. It has been such an amazing journey with her along.
TL;DR: | should the girl fight against the parents in what she really loves rather than just let them direct her what to do in her life. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I [19/F] went on a "date" with a guy [23/M]. How do I tell him I ask him out again?
POST: I hope this type of post is okay. I went out to eat with a guy, he paid, and then we went to his place and watched a movie. It was a lot of fun, but it was never established as a date. After the movie he started kissing me and feeling around and I told him I don't just want to hookup. He said that was fine, and he didn't try to push things further.
I don't know him very well, but I'd like to go out again. We have texted a few times since we met up three days ago.
I was in a very long relationship before, and I think I'm just getting nervous. Does he just want to hookup? Has it been too long since we last got together and he won't ask me out again? I really like him, I don't know what to do, I feel like I just started learning how to date.
TL;DR: | I went out with a guy and told him I didn't want to hookup. We haven't made any more plans since then even though I want to. How do I tell him? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm 25m, my ex-girlfriend's [25f] new boyfriend [25m] doesn't know that she cheated on me when we were together. I'm not sure if its my place to inform him.
POST: As the title says, I'm 25, as is my ex and her boyfriend. I dated her for two years and a bit before we broke up. It was rough, I found out she had cheated on me with many guys. I had never cheated on her once during our relationship. Our relationship was going down hill a while and when she confessed to all the cheating we both agreed it was time to end it.
We had been friends for a long while before hand, and although it was kind of a bitter break up, after a few months we became friends again and we still regularly hang out as friends.
Her new partner seems like a great guy, really kind and friendly. I'd hate to think that she could cheat on him and abuse his friendliness like she did to mine.
From talking to him, I've deduced she has told her nothing of her serial cheating in the past. She told him the reason me and her broke up was cause we both had agreed it was over and time to move on, but she had never mentioned the reason was that she had cheated on me with many guys.
Now I'm not saying she is or will do the same to him, but I feel its only fair that he knows the full picture and knows what he's getting himself into. Maybe its also in his benefit if he's a bit more wary in case she does do the same thing to him. I feel that as a friend I owe it to him.
However I'm also friends with her and I'm not sure if I'd be trespassing out of my place if I came forward to him with this information.
TL;DR: | ex-girlfriend cheated on me heaps, still friends with her and her new boyfriend, but he doesn't know of her past history of serial cheating. Not sure if I should tell him or not. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: It bothers me (18/M) that my girlfriend (19/F) has had sex before
POST: We've been dating for 3 months now, and I have been in 3 relationships before and never had sex. My girlfriend has been in several and has sex in a few and I have not. The thought bothers me. It doesn't affect me when I'm with her, but occasionally the thought pops up in my head when I'm alone and I get extremely jealous. It bothers me more that the only guys that she has has sex with both treated her terribly and I know one of them. She broke up with him to go for me, and we've been friends for a year and I've heard all of her stories about him and how he would force her to have sex. It bothered me then and it bothers me now, especially since we started dating shortly after they broke up. She also talks about sex very casually, which bothers me as well, as to me it's kind of a big deal as I've never has sex, but she never has outside of a serious relationship. We've talked about it and agreed that we're going to take it slow, but more than likely we will. I don't know if once we do it'll change my thoughts so I won't be as jealous or if it'll stay the same. I'm scared to talk to her about the subject because I don't like thinking about it and I told her several times that it doesn't bother me.
I've also been in other relationships before where I knew my girlfriend has had sex before (in fact I found out one was a bit of a slut and still is), where these thoughts never once bothered me, but it's different with this girl, or at least if they did bother me it never bothered me to the point where I actually needed to ask for advice on how to cope from others.
TL;DR: | do you guys have any advice for coping with these negative thoughts from her having sex with other guys before me? Is there anyway I can try to make these thoughts go away completely? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [19F] boyfriend [20M] and I have been dating for a little over a year. It's been 4 months since our 1 year anniversary and I have yet to see anything from him.
POST: Me: 19f
Him: 20M
Dating 1 year
I know this post my seem a little shallow, but he promised me he would take me out and get me a gift being as he forgot. I, on the other hand, really thought about my gifts to him and wasn't cheap about it (note, I'm typically very cheap and save money). I got him a nice knife and a nice, long massage (he was in an accident a few years ago and massages help). When midnight hit I jumped up, went straight to my bag and pulled out the gifts for him, excited to give it to him.
He was excited about the gifts then realized what was going on. I was pretty sad, not because he didn't have anything for me, but because he completely forgot. This is my first relationship, so I was really excited about this part of a relationship.
I am not a materialistic person. I would rather have a nice romantic night, something cliché like a moonlight dinner on the beach, instead of an expensive gift. Just anything for him to show he loves me and loves having me in his life.
He promised me he would take me out to a nice dinner and get me a gift when he had the money. I agreed, knowing he was in a tough spot. The following weeks, HE would say things to me to reassure me that he hasn't forgotten and is planning something special.
His financial situation has improved, but I still haven't seen any effort to keep his promise. I haven't reminded him of it, but it really is effecting me. He has since purchased some expensive items and it's starting to irritate me.
Like I said, I know this may sound shallow... but I would just really love for him to at least do something to show that he values me in his life. My gifts to him were my way of showing I appreciate him, love him in my life, and that I'm happy I'm with him.
I would really like to talk to him about this but I don't know where to start. Any advice?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend of a year has not yet given me an anniversary gift after promising me he would, it's been 4 months. Patience is running out. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24F] What's it like having a partner who actually cares about you?
POST: After breaking up with my boyfriend (he lied to me about various things, cheated on me) I realized he never did anything nice for me and constantly made me feel subtly awful about myself. Though I somehow did not realize this at the time? I thought we were perfectly in love? (this was my first real relationship/anything). I recently had three guys interested in me and slept with the one who I had absolutely nothing in common with and was the least nice to me... I don't even know why I did that.
I guess I'm worried about myself, I don't know what it's like to be loved properly, literally no concept of it. I started crying the other day because I literally could not imagine someone caring about me. My family are not abusive at all but we do not show love or affection often, and if we do it's veiled my humour/sarcasm (so very British).
What should I look out for? Does anyone else feel the same way I do, how did you get over it?
TL;DR: | Basically the title my men, what's it like having a partner who actually cares about you? What are green flags? |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: do i put it on? or leave it off? resume related question HELP!
POST: hello r/jobs!
so i'm in a bit of jam concerning my current job and i need your guys' advice. I'm a recent college grad and I'm currently employed by my uncle at a company that I don't really see myself working long term for. I don't like the job, but I needed the money and the experience was a plus; it was also a job that I could do until I found a career that I really liked. 1 month later, lo and behold, a job that I'm interested in opens up.
The issue is, I have no idea what to put on my resume for the time I've been working at my uncle's company. I'm gaining a lot of experience that I feel companies will see as valuable, but the fact that I've only been working for a month is what makes me hesitate to put it on.
TL;DR: | I've only been working at my job for a month but want to apply to other places. Should I put it on my resume or should I omit it? WHAT TO DO??!! |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Despite having moved out and not signing to renew tenancy, my Landlord/Letting Agency has continued to take rent from my account and hasn't returned my deposit. What should I do?
POST: Basically I moved out of my student accommodation last April. Money was continually taken out of my account until I called them up, and they said I had to block the payments.
When I went in to rectify this, they apparently were after me for my rent, since the person on the phone had failed to tell the company my situation.
Only after me repeatedly telling them I did not sign a contract, they checked and saw that I was right and said I would have my money back for my deposit and wrongfully paid rent asap.
They are still avoiding contact.
I have already sent emails, phonecalls and been in to see them, what should I do? Do I have any legal grounds to sue
TL;DR: | Rent and deposit that I'm owed still not returned to me after many attempts to rectify the issue. It has been a very long time. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by sending nudes to my friend
POST: Tifu by accidentally coming out of the closet to a close friend. I was taking to him on skype and he seemed to be getting into some serious talk and he ended up saying that we should swap nudes. At first I was shocked because he's not the kind of friend that I would joke around with stuff like this. I asked him what he was talking about and he said that he thought we should swap nudes to closen our bond. Now, in this next part you might think I'm stupid but this was late last night and I was kinda out of it. He eventually convinced me that he was being serious and I thought this might be his way of coming out so I decided to do it with him. He counted down from 3 for is to both send them at the same time. Heart racing, I sent him a picture of my business, and waited for his picture to load. That's when I realized that I had fucked up. He sent me a picture of a dog smoking a pipe. I immediately deleted the picture from the chat, but I knew he had already seen it. He didn't say anything for awhile and then eventually started questioning me. I guess he thought I knew it was a joke and I was just playing along and now we haven't talked for awhile.
TL;DR: | I sent nudes to my friend because I thought we were coming out together, but he was just joking and sent me a picture of a dog smoking a pipe. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [63F] mother is getting plastic surgery. I [25 M] find this really upsetting - I'm not sure why I'm posting this but I am. Meow.
POST: To me, my mum is beautiful. She's 63 but honestly looks at least 10 years younger. So often I wish she would 'get out there' and try and find a partner (I know she could) but she lacks confidence - I'm sure that's why she's getting it done. She's convinced that all men in their 60's are looking for 'younger women' in their 30's-40's.
I'm just so upset that a) she doesn't see herself as beautiful, and b) that it'll be like I'm not looking at my mum anymore.
I kind of want to convince her not to do it. But yeah, I don't know. Anyone been through this?
TL;DR: | Mum getting plastic surgery (I'm not sure what exactly - I found out by mistake). I hate the idea of it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/pettyrevenge
TITLE: Businessman think he's too good for the rest of us
POST: Long time lurker, first time poster.
**Background**
So you know type, classic douchebag, bluetooth headset, suit wearing, businessman (known as DB) who makes slightly more money than the rest of us which adds his narcissistic ego.
**The Story**
So in the morning commute to work I get out of the train go up the stairs to exit the station, normally I have no problems with this. Today however was very different. DB decided to NOT stick to the right side of the stairs which is the side you use to go down, and went on the left. Now normally this would be no problem as someone would just let him go. But I noticed that he had already bumped into 3/4 people in his rush to get the train but not only that he said "excuse you" (as sarcastically as he could) to every single one, including a little kid around 5/6 years old and the cherry on top was instead of paying attention he was busy talking on his bluetooth and overall ignoring everyone.
**Revenge**
So instead of letting him go down and catch his train on time I decided to play a game of chicken, we both were walking directly at each other me on the right going up, him on his ~~wrong~~ left (my right) coming down. Of course he too stubborn to move, and I decided that instead of winning I would have some fun, I slowed down just enough so the rush behind me would catch up and then I bumped into DB slowing him and forcing him to move into the corner. At this point he was PISSED and he even pushed me out of the way to try to make it to the train but it was already too late, he was trapped by the rush of the people exiting the train. He was stuck waiting (i'm assuming) a good 10 extra minutes while the train emptied and then left without him.
TL;DR: | Bluetooth headset douchbag thinks he doesn't have to follow common stair etiquette, I trap him in a corner due to his own stubbornness. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (f19) feel like I am losing attraction towards my boyfriend(21) of 2.5 years
POST: Backstory: my boyfriend and I met about three years ago working at the same retail store. I feel for him, hard, as he did me. Things have been fantastic, up until a few months ago. Many changes have occurred in those months that I believe attribute to these feelings; he graduated college whilst I still have two years, he works 8-5 whilst I typically work 5-11 so we never see each other, and I feel that while we have both matured, he is more in the adult stage while I remain in the college/experimental stage. I have been struggling to keep things afloat, as has he, but I feel that we are just in two very different chapters of our lives. I am trying to catch up to his so-called chapter, but it makes me feel like I might be missing out on things college students get to do- party, drink, be carefree, etc. I love him more than life itself, but it is starting to feel like a friendship. He has admitted the same thing. He doesn't feel any less attracted to me, but I just don't get turned on anymore and I think it has to do with the lack of similarities that we have in our lives now. We are seriously struggling and we are on the brink of breaking up, to the point of where I'm already preparing myself for it. I've practically loved with him for the past semester, and I think seeing each other so often has also affected my attraction towards him. I no longer had time away from him to lust for him.
Is there any hope? I'm open to answer any questions for more details. Just trying to get some insight/opinions.
TL;DR: | Trying to figure out if my (f19) 2.5 year relationship can be saved with my m(21). |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Unsure what to do about a girl I like.
POST: To start off the girl is 19(20 later this year), and I am 21 as of last month.
Also throw-away since some of my friends are Redditors, and I'm slightly paranoid about it.
I've had a crush and such on her for a while, and on Halloween her costume was a Dominatrix, and had me as her pet(I was wearing my collar so she just leashed me up.) and basically spent the whole day with her. Also gave her my shirt when she wanted to take off her corset, but had no shirt. (I just wore my hoodie zipped up afterwords.)
At the end of the day before parting ways we talked some, and I asked if she was single(she knew I had a crush on her. I'm not the best at hiding things.), and she told me that Yes she is single, but not looking.
Now I'm just conflicted on what to do. I had talked to a few friends, and the advice I got was mixed.
Some had said just give her time, and others said go after her. I'm currently just giving her time/being a normal friend as always. But is this the right thing to do?
TL;DR: | Asked girl I like if she was single, told yes but not looking. Should I push it or give it time/move on? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: SO found out he has Oral Herpes (not sure if it's HSV-1 or HSV-2) really could use some advice and information on the relationship aspect
POST: My SO recently got an oral herpes outbreak (we are positive that's what it is) he hasn't been tested to see if it's HSV-1 or HSV-2 yet. I'm unsure of whether or not I have it (I'm aware the majority of the population has HSV-1 by the time they are 25 or so) and am planning on getting tested now and also in 6-8 weeks.
We are both pretty ignorant about it despite extensive internet research (really haven't found much that's helpful). Since we plan on being together, if I don't have it we want to take care that he doesn't give it to me. Really any information would help.
General Questions:
* How can it be transmitted? Can it be transmitted through bath water (stupid I know). Through fingering/handjobs?
* Should we be wary about sharing a bed or towels while he is having an outbreak?
* Would me taking anti-virals help decrease the risk of transmission?
* What other precautions should we take?
TL;DR: | SO got an oral herpes outbreak after not knowing he had it, what precautions can we take to decrease the chance of my getting infected? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I was pretty much dating a guy and e randomly started ignoring me what could be going on?!
POST: I am 19 years old and he is 26.
We met through a friend and things started off good but since he was a shy guy it was just slow paced. I didn't expect a relationship out of meetin him., but after a while he would be around me kissed me, and so on. Then things started moving on from the petty stuff he would hold my hand in front of his friends, come over to his friends house when I was there, even drive out to my house or m friends house to hang out. I didn't think things were Wierd at all besides him not being much of a talker, just a really shy guy.
Fast forward to being at the house we always hang out at. My friends boyfriends house. His brother ended up having feeling for me and everytime I would say no thats not how I see you your more of a friend and then one night we got really drunk my guy left and brother tried to make a move on me. I was blacked out. The next morning they told me we hooked up but I thought they were messing around because I know I would never hook up with him and didn't think that brother would do something to me when I was that drunk.
I wanted to tell my guy but everyone said not to say anything, which again made me think they were messing around.
Now two weeks ago my guy and I were fine. Saw Eachother sat talked in his car kissed whatever. Then the next Tuesday I saw him I gave him a hug an after that he just ignored me. No reasoning I didn't do anything wrong. Or at least from what I know..
Could brother have told him we did stuff, or could they have lied to him about me.. Or it it just normal for guys to stop talking to you
TL;DR: | Been talking with a guy who liked me oh so much, as everyone of his friends said, and now won't even look at me talk to me anything. What's the deal?! |
SUBREDDIT: r/BreakUps
TITLE: I [22m] figured out my ex-girlfriend's [21f] Facebook password and used it to find out that she lied about the reasons for breaking up with me... she cheated. (redirected here from /r/relationships)
POST: The breakup came Sunday night, a week before our 1 year anniversary, which I was quite excited to come up for and had many plans for her. We were doing the distance thing, but it was going great! We managed to see each other every 1-2 weekends and always had a great time. We also talked quite openly about our future after we would finish school at the end of this year. Then she dropped this on me quite suddenly and gave a multitude of vague reasons (wants to stay in her city for work after school but didn't discuss it with me, not me it's her, didn't have as good of a connection as we thought, distance was getting too hard, thought the future plans sounded good at the time but got scared). Some of these reasons are completely understandable yet I felt like there was still something she wasn't telling me. I asked her if she met someone else and she denied it and got upset when I asked a second time.
So we get to the part about her Facebook. Yeah I'm a sneaky bastard but I logged in to find her talking to her friends about a guy she met on a class outing two weekends ago. Turns out this weekend they did some drunk making out and slept in the same bed (no sex) Friday and Saturday night. Then she dumped me Sunday night and had sex with him the last three nights.
What do I even do here? We left on a good note and I haven't contacted her in a couple days, but I'm upset she lied. I also realize I'm at fault for logging into Facebook. Do I approach it? What do I do to make myself stop checking her Facebook routinely?
TL;DR: | Found out through hacking my girlfriend's Facebook that she cheated on me but wouldn't mention it when giving reasons for the breakup. |
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