input
stringlengths 104
2.4k
| output
stringlengths 70
268
|
|---|---|
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Had a talk about group sex with my gf, completely backfired. Help.
POST: This is a throwaway.
Over the past couple of months ive developed a group sex fetish (posted a few days back, check it out for more info). I went to r/confession and some people told me to talk to my gf about it (ive also read a lot of articles about how to get rid of this fetish, because I am ashamed to be a cuckold and they said that they might go away if i talked to her).
So today I talked to her about it, expressed all of me thoughts and feelings, and she tells me that she is also kind of turned on by other men having sex with her as well as me (she would never cheat on me). So we start discussing this further and she tells me that she would like to have a threesome with one of her friends that she used to work with.
Here is the problem: This guy has texted my girlfriend multiple times about her leaving me for him and how much he loves her and all that. ( told her that she could still text him because he is her friend and that I trust her)
This was a wake up call.
After she told me that, I grew nauseous and couldn't even look at her. All thought and fantasies of group sex disappeared.
How am I supposed to react? She wants to have sex with a guy who is pretty much telling her to leave me.
Im sorry if this doesn't make any sense but I need some good advice.
TL;DR: | Asked girlfriend how she feels about group sex, she told me she would like to have sex with a guy who has told her that he loves her (and to leave me). |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20 M] don't know how to initiate relationship with my friend [21F]
POST: First of all, I'd like to apologise for my English.
Well, I met this girl like 3 weeks ago on QA courses. Noticed her immediately, talked to her a bit, turned out that she's from my University, so we have at least something to talk about.
She's really smart, friendly and very active. I mean, she was engaged in almost all kinds of sport activities, now it's winter, so she spends a lot of time snowboarding or ice skating. She also has a lot of friends.
On other hand, I'm kind of lazy (sometimes too lazy to turn over while lying on the couch). Also I am kinda of insecure in myself (all of my previous relations were initiated by girls, not me) and I've never "hit" on girls.
We went ice skating twice (I've never been on the rink before, but that ws kind of fun. Things were nice, I was comfortable aruond hre, she's talkative and stuff, but I guess she's like that all the time, with everyone.
The question is: how to transition from that to, ugh, romantic relationship? Just ask her out more?
She also doesn't have a bf as far as I know.
TL;DR: | met a nice friendly girl, went skating, things are nice, but it looks like "friends" stage. Hot to transition from this to something more "romantic"? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Girlfriend [F20] of 1 year is manipulative and gets angry when I mention anything I [M34] did before meeting her. How to deal with this?
POST: I suppose many people will focus in on the age gap. When we met I thought she was about 26, and she thought I was about... 26. When I found out that she's only in her second year at university, I thought oops no I should avoid this girl. But we kept talking anyway that day, and found out that we have so much in common that we gave it a try. Never met anyone else with the same set of totally obscure 1970s movies were their favorites.
It has been mostly positive, but she is amazingly manipulative and controlling. I try as hard as I can to treat her like a normal person and just refuse to let her get away with it when she tries to insist on special treatment, but her refusal to hear any mention of the past is really frustrating.
At first she just insisted that I never mention ever having had any previous girlfriends, and I could kind of deal with that, since no one likes hearing someone talk about their ex. But last weekend at a used electronics shop she got upset when I pointed out a camera I had long ago, and she insisted that I not even talk about non-relationship stuff from my past "except for my childhood".
TL;DR: | Girlfriend refuses to hear any mention of my past, be it about previous girls or some random camera I bought when I didn't know her yet. How to fix this? Tired of just not talking about the past. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (25f) boyfriend (24m) of 6 years proposed when I attempted to break up with him after his court ordered no-contact was lifted.
POST: Boyfriend and I have been together since freshman year of college. He was terrified of commitment so we took things slow. Every milestone was a bit behind where you would expect it (ie, I love you, moving in, similar commitment, etc)
Eventually we graduated, moved around for awhile, he spent a few months pursuing his dream in another state, and finally we both settled states away from home. For the last few years, I've been ready for something more. I had told him again and again, but he would make me feel foolish for wanting to get married. Either acting like it was the most ridiculous idea or shooting down the plans I had for a wedding. I was starting to get disheartened.
Then this December, during a night when he was especially drunk, he attacked me when I didn't allow him to have the car keys. I called the cops on him and he was arrested. Part of his bail conditions required that he had no contact with me. I was not ready to give up on him, though, and wrote him a letter expressing my desire to work through this with him. However, over the last few months, being on my own, I've been happier. I began to move on, started flirting with other people, even had a hookup. Now, the no contact has been lifted. I went to tell him that I wanted to move on with my life, and he said he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. He's realized he has been an ass for much of our relationship, that we fell into complacency, and he wants to start fresh. He wants to be better and wants to work on his alcoholism and drug issues. He's admitted to having the emotional maturity of a 12 year old and how he desperately needs to catch up, and that he wants to be on level with me.
I'm now at a loss. The thing I had been working toward for years is finally available to me, and I no longer want it. I don't know where to go from here.
TL;DR: | An arrest lead to no contact, during the time alone, realized I'm happier. Boyfriend proposed life together forever, now I'm confused. |
SUBREDDIT: r/askwomenadvice
TITLE: M 23 . I'm not entirely sure what to do, or if there is even a chance of salvaging a friendship.
POST: I was seeing? a woman who is eight years older than I. We were seeing? Eachother for four months or so. She told me she did not want a relationship. Later on she told me when she fell for me. A short while later she told me that she wasn't into me anymore. When I asked for an explanation she told me that it's her own excuse and that she doesn't have to tell me.
She has nothing to do with me anymore, she will always reply if I talk to her, and be very kind, but never wants to meet up again. She never messages me either.
Unfortunate situation considering I very much enjoyed her company and would still like to see her from time to time, romantic relationship or not.
I'm not sure where to go from here. I feel foolish caring about her. Sometimes I feel like I may be bothering her when I talk to her or ask if she wants to meet up. Bothering her is the last thing I want to do. It's been a year or so since I have last seen her in person.
I talk to her once or twice every couple months. I would like to talk to her more often, but like I said before, bothering her is the last thing I would like to do.
TL;DR: | I knew someone, they got cold feet, they don't talk to me anymore. I want to know if I should even bother talking to them. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by asking a girl to prom
POST: So I had the brilliant idea a couple days ago to ask a girl to my school's prom during lunch... Before we left to get food. So lunch rolls around and I was waiting outside my car with cookies in the shape of "round 2?", as we went together last year. Now only a couple of my friends knew that I was going to ask her, in order to make sure she wouldn't find out. So as she walked up and I asked her, my friends drove by shouting "OOOHHHHHH!!!" only to solidify the awkwardness of her telling me no because someone had already asked her...
So now we get into my car and go to get lunch in what might have been one of the most awkward car rides of my life. As we drove out we tried to make conversation that was always followed by long gaps of silence. We decided that the drive through of the restaurant we went to would be better than going in for some reason. So we sat in the drive through trying to make conversation.
We got back to school where her friends started asking her questions about the box she was carrying (the cookies) and grabbed it from her and started shaking it like crazy, most likely breaking all of the cookies. So we split up our food and I left, ending the longest, most awkward lunch possibly of my life.
TL;DR: | Don't ask a girl to prom right before you have to sit in the car with her for 20 min. Especially if you are an awkward human being. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [26 M] became instantly infatuated with my friend's girlfriend [22F]... Now I don't know what to do.
POST: A couple months ago I [26M] met a cool guy that I got along well with. We hung out and drank for a while and had a good time. We planned on hanging out again in the future, but didn't really.
That was a couple of months ago. Then last night, I ran into him with a girl at this music festival.
I was surprised and happy to see him, and after we said hey he introduced me to the girl, saying, "This is my girlfriend Rebecca."
I introduced myself to Rebecca, and instantly engaged her in conversation because I wanted to be polite and inclusive, and not just shut her out while I was talking to my old friend.
The problem was, we clicked immediately and feverishly. We both struck up an awesome conversation, connected, and forgot entirely that he was there.
We had a ton in common right off the bat. Eventually, he seemed to break the trend by saying laughingly, yet awkwardly, "Wow you two are just perfect for each other aren't you?" It was awkward and neither of us really knew how to respond to that.
I told the guy/my friend that we should hang out again and we parted ways.
The problem is, now I can't stop thinking about this girl! She's beautiful, fun, and we instantly clicked. If she was just there by herself and wasn't dating my friend, I would have asked her out without hesitation.
I couldn't believe they are together because she's super outgoing and funny and friendly, and he's a little more goofy and awkward, but still a really nice guy. But I know there are certain barricades that simply can't be crossed.
Are there any good ideas/tips/strategies/advice to keep in mind in a situation like this? Is there anything at all I can do other than just waiting patiently to see how things work out between them?
Thanks so much for your responses.
TL;DR: | I became instantly infatuated with a guy I recently met's girlfriend. He's cool, but now I can't stop thinking about the girl. Is there anything at all I can do about this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: [AU] Ex has all my stuff (including pets), has locked it all in his house, and won't give it back! Police haven't been helpful. What are my options?
POST: Hi /r/legaladvice
We're from South Australia.
Bit of an odd setup here (but probably not unusual). I'm asking for a friend of mine, we'll call her Jenny.
Jenny stored some stuff at her (now ex) boyfriends (we'll call him Bob) place what she was between houses (no more than a couple of weeks). This included some pets.
Jenny took a trip to see her Auntie interstate - while she was away, there was a falling-out and they broke up (emotionally quite messy). Once the dust settled, Jenny asked Bob to drop the pets at her parents place, and arranged to pick up her stuff when she returned from her trip.
Cut to a week later, Bob is AWOL, along with Jenny's pets. The vast majority of Jenny's stuff is locked in Bobs house.
Jenny has contacted the Police and filed a report. They Police advised her they cannot retrieve her stuff, and she'll just have to "wait for the animals to turn up". They've essentially said she's "on her own".
So, /r/legaladvice, does Jenny have any options? Any advice (even if it's just language to use with the Police) would be helpful!
Thank you so much!
TL;DR: | Ex has all my stuff (including pets), has locked it all in his house, and won't give it back! Police haven't been helpful. What are my options? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (18M) girlfriend (17F) is back on her anti depressants and isn't taking it so well and I don't know what I should do?
POST: Hey so my girlfriend (17F) and I (18M) have been in a relationship for 6 months now and it was last week where my girlfriend went to see her psychiatrist to see how she is doing. After her appointment her psychiatrist has diagnosed her depressed again. She was depressed before during a previous relationship that lasted a year, but she has been off her medications for about 7 months until now.
I only found out about 3 days ago because I found cuts on the side of her ribs and asked her what was going on. She told me about her appointment and how she is back on her anti depressants again and she is really sorry for not telling me, but she was scared because when she told her boyfriend in her past relationship he dumped her because it was to much for him.
So being fairly calm about all this I told her everything is OK and I'm not going to break up with you over this, and that we will work things out. I did how ever make her promise me to NEVER cut herself again because I hate the thought of it and if she does it again I wont be so calm and understanding about all of this.
So today after work she told me the she had cut herself again and that she broke her promise and she is very sorry about it. So when I asked her why she just said that she was having a terrible day and she couldn't talk to me because I was at work and have no access to my phone. Now this time I'm kind of pissed about all this because it hasn't even been a week and she already broke her promise.
So now I don't know what I should do because clearly she isn't very happy with herself and I don't know what is best for her and I have no experience in dealing with this, so I need advice on what I should do next?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend (17F) is depressed again has cut herself twice in the past week. What is best for her in this situation? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25 M] with my friend [25 F], I'm awkward and kinda in a weird/creepy/embarrassing situation: How would you handle this awkward situation?
POST: Back Story: I am 25 and work the health care. I have a friend who lives in an apartment complex near me, we'll call him Clyde. I went there last night to hang out and ran into a nurse friend from work there, we'll call her Morgan. Morgan's sister was moving in, we're pretty good friends and have been working together for like 2 years.We talked for a little bit and then texted about how weird it is that out of all places, people, and time, we ran into each other then and there. And how I knew which apartment her sister was moving in to because of the smokers that lived there just before them.
Anyway, now with the embarrassing part. I was walking my friend's dog outside around the complex to go to the bathroom, and Morgan's sister's apartment is on the ground floor. The dog got excited at seeing all the people through the window (she's a golden lab) and put her front paws on the window frame outside the window. I told her not to jump, but she doesn't listen to me very well, and she weighs like 80 lbs so i had to get her paws off the windowsill. I said "sorry about that" and pulled her off the window. Someone else in the apartment said "who's that?" and another closed the window right after.And I just got super embarrassed and kept walking the dog and walked away.
I'm not sure if Morgan was in there, or her boyfriend, and noticed it was me, they would be the only ones who would recognize me, I don't know her sister or her friends at all. Also this happened at like 8:45pm, so it was pretty dark already. Should I apologize via text? Or just not admit guilt and play it off like it ever happened? Though if they "do" know that it was me, and I don't acknowledge it, makes me kind of a super creep, right?
TL;DR: | Friend's sister moving into new apartment, they know I was in the area, dog put paws on their windowsill late at night, I took her off, but still might look like some weird window peeper/creep/etc |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [23M] don't know how to tell my girlfriend [20F] of 2 months that I found out last week I might be HIV+ and not she may be + also? Getting test results back today.
POST: First off I know that I must tell her! And plan on telling her in person in a private comfortable place that we can talk.
A little background. Last week on Tuesday I got a letter on the mail from DHEC (Department of Health and Environmental Control) that they need to speak to me immediately concerning my health! I called the persons number on the paper and she told me she couldn't talk about much over the phone, so we set up an appointment for the next morning. At this point after a little googling about the letter and the ladies name and job title, I figure it's over an STD. The next morning I meet with her and she tells me someone tested positive for HIV and that they gave my name as a sexual partner (she can't tell me when or who so no drama comes from it). She then takes my Blood to send off for a test and tells me that she will call me with the results which should be Monday. I've been thinking about who and when and there are only 2 people it could be from, from before i was dating my current girlfriend. I've also noticed other symptoms I've had that I didn't think to much of until now rash, fatigue, cough.
Now for the relationship part. I've been dating a girl for about 2 months. And things are amazing. We've had unprotected sex from start to finish 3 times (she has the arm implant birth control).
The hardest part about all this is knowing I might have infected her. And I know I have to tell her but any pointers on how to would be appreciated? Or any advice on help and what to-do next? In a perfect world I won't be positive, but more than likely we both are now. And of we are I want us to be there for each other. Any words of advice or anything would help.
TL;DR: | more than likely I'm [23M] HIV positive, I've been sleeping with my girlfriend [20F] of 2 months unprotected so she may be also. What should I do now and how? |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: Temp...but applying for a full-time job within the same company? Yes, no?
POST: I am in a very fortunate position to be working a temp job at what is essentially my dream company! I've been at it for a little more than a month with a contract that extends to a year. I don't know what will happen after that year, it'll depend on their need for a full-time hire, ability to pay a salary, etc etc. All the normal stuff. I love what I'm doing, but I'm trying to keep an eye to the future in order to have a secure job come that time. I was peeking at the company job board the other day and noticed that they have an open (full-time) position in another one of their departments (it's a huge company) that I would rather work in. I have to admit, it tempts me and I feel like I would be qualified for it. I also don't know if this position (or one like it) will be available in a year. I don't know if I should...
A) Drop it and just continue on with what I'm doing, look when the time gets closer.
B) Reach out to the director of that department (who I've emailed with before) and express my interest.
C) Talk to a friend of mine who works in that department and express my interest to her/get her opinion.
D) Just go through the process of applying through HR.
I'm a little lost, I don't want to cause any disturbance by applying or anything...what do you think, what would you do? Am I thinking too far ahead? Thanks. :)
TL;DR: | I'm a temp at a company, should I applying for a full-time job within the same company or let it go? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: 30/F needs help with a snooping 'addiction' on 30/M fiance's stuff
POST: Hi All,
I feel like a lot of people do snoop, and it's an issue in our cell phone culture. I am really over snooping and how it makes me feel but I almost feel like I am unable to stop, or addicted to it!
I can go for days or weeks, but I always end up checking my fiance's phone, email, or something to see if i can find anything. I've never been given a real reason not to trust him, and am pretty aware this is MY own issue. I am not sketchy on my side either,and would be happy to show my fiance my whole phone and any text convo. So I just don't get why I am unable to stop 'looking' for problems.
Has anyone else had success in stopping snoooping in full? I feel like it's almost an addicition. I will go a while and then check it when he leaves a room and I will almost feel a high after. I know I would HATE it if he did the same and I realize how wrong it is etc.
I am more curious if anyone else was like me and how they stopped themselves?
TL;DR: | Hate snooping and how it makes me feel, yet I continue to do it-any ideas/ways others have been successful in just giving it up for good? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Should I open my (kinda light) wallet for a friend's pet while they are away?
POST: A friend of mine left for rehab today (for a month). Last night, I took home her little skink in his little 10 gallon fish tank. It has a canopy on hinges, and two little aquarium lights inside. She rescued it from a roommate last year, and made the tank look really great the first couple weeks, but then let it fall apart after that. Every time I would come over, I would poke at her to clean it or buy a $10 bag of substrate to keep the tank in a proper state. She would use card board or tinfoil occasionally in attempt to prettify it, but you could tell it was a half assed effort.
Finally, the lizard is in my care for the time being, and I wasted no time getting it in tip top condition, using my own reptile supplies (I have a bunch). Then I posted pictures on one of the herp forums I frequent, and discovered, it is not even a skink. It is an alligator lizard. [They are cute](
So yay, that's exciting news. But me being me, I have been reading up all kinds of care sheets on the little guys, and have discovered there are several things he has been living without.
Like a basking spot, and uvb light.
I know how to deal with this in big tanks with my own lizards and snakes, but I don't know what I should do with this little canopy top 10g.
I could scrap that, buy a screen lid, and a couple domes and lights... but that could cost me up to 50 bucks.
I am not rich. I have a very small income, but I am really passionate about pets.
Should I take on the burden of perfecting the little guy's habitat? Or just nag on her about it more later?
If my bearded dragons don't get their UVB light, they could develop metabolic bone disease. I haven't found it in my reading yet, if that can happen to an alligator lizard, too.
What does reddit think I should do?
TL;DR: | Babysitting my friend's lizard, should I spend my own (limited) money to make his habitat perfect, or tell her what he needs, and see it never get done? |
SUBREDDIT: r/running
TITLE: Returning to running after an injury... is it too soon?
POST: Greetings r/running! First time visiting all of you!
I am a 33 yo novice distance runner, and have completed 4 1/2s and a Full in the past 2 years, after picking up running in 2007. My last 1/2 was the Philly Distance Run last September. During that race, I began to experience some L foot pain. I still managed to PR (breaking 2h, nothing impressive but I was proud of myself). I went on to try and train for the Philly marathon, which would have been my second. That was a mistake, and what started as some pain with running spiralled into pain even at rest, and an XR and MRI later, I was dx'd with 2 stress fractures in my foot. 8 weeks in an immobilization shoe later, I was able to return to running.
It's been a touch slog getting back up to anything resembling decent milage, but am now running 5miles every other day with only mild discomfort (my doc said this would likely continue to hurt on and off for several months, but that the pain should fade on my off days, thus far it's been behaving).
So of course my hubris has me eyeing the race calendar. I think the DC National Half 3/26 would be a good return to the racing world, and that the San Diego RnR would be an awesome full in early June.
Is this pushing it?
TL;DR: | Broke foot running 1/2marathon in Sept. Now back up to 5m QOD. Is 7 weeks too close for another 1/2? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [30/M] moved to a different city and moved in together with my gf [24/F] of 4 years and she broke up with me a month later.
POST: My girlfriend of 4 years got accepted to a college 2 hours away from our hometown. She asked me to move with her. To me, I really thought she was the one so I stupidly dropped everything and moved. I've always hated the city we moved to but I did it just to be with her.
Almost exactly a month later, she breaks up with me. She said that she didn't love me anymore. She said she's been feeling it for a while but she hoped that moving in together would show her that we were meant to be together. We move out and a week later she is dating a new guy from her work. Now I'm stuck in a city I hate alone. I'm trying really hard not to move back to my hometown with my tail between my legs.
She also doesn't want to be friends either. She says it's not fair to her current/future BFs. I feel like the four years together meant nothing to her. I feel like I wasted four years of my life.
TL;DR: | moved to a different city wih my gfof 4 years. she dumps me a month later. She has a new bf. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Help me find this short story?
POST: Hey Reddit!
So I was looking at the preview for Google+, pondering how creepy it was how we're letting Google at yet more of the general public's personal information (shouldn't there be some sort of limit?) and the 'Circles' feature caught my eye. It reminded me of this short story I once read (in a compilation of short stories for teens, I think) where everybody in some future highschool was on some future social network in little groups called 'hives'. A 'hive' of girls kicks out one of their members and the girl kills herself 'cause her 'hive' is her life.
Anyways I couldn't remember it, did some googling, couldn't come up with it. Would like to re-read it. Would some reddit detective help me out?
TL;DR: | plz help with short story reddit interw3b sl00thz. has 'hives', 'teen compilation' (or something like that) , might be a New Zealand author. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [24M] feel kinda bad for my girlfriend [23F].
POST: So, I started seeing my girlfriend about 3 months ago. We met online when I was about to give up on dating for a while, and we hit it off. Things are amazing and we care very much about each other, and have started to have small conversations about moving out together next year (March or April). We spend a lot of time together right now in an environment that would mimic living together already, but only for 3-5 days at a time.
The problem is our schedules. I work a typical 9-5, M-F job, but shes works Saturday thru Tuesday nights from 12pm to 10pm. She sleeps in, so I try to get up early so I can leave early from work (I have flexible hours so it works). The solution we worked out is that she ends up staying at my place for a few days at a time. I feel bad because she spends most of her day just waiting for me (and I've been in her position from my last relationship, waiting sucks).
She has netflix, she goes on my computer to kill time shopping. She does her nails. She makes lunch. She cleans even though I tell her she doesn't have to because it's my mess. But I feel bad that she spends her day just waiting for me. I know she's really bored because when I get home she just wants to spend time doing stuff right away, and I totally don't mind that. She doesn't have a ton of her stuff at my place, and I am trying to encourage her to bring whatever she wants to help kill the time.
What I need are some ideas on how to make her days waiting for me to get home easier. I have my video games and my friends online. Whenever we are living together, it won't be bad for me because I'll have that to kill time. She doesn't have something like that currently.
Any tips/suggestions/ideas would be greatly appreciated.
TL;DR: | Pretty simple, because of difference in work schedules and distance, my girl spends most of the day hanging around my place waiting for me, very bored. Advice? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, this is something I've never spoken about to anyone. I swallowed a condom full of weed 4 years ago, and don't know if it ever came out. Need advice.
POST: This is obviously a throwaway account. I was travelling back from amsterdam, and wanted to smuggle some back to Paris for once last smoking session. I hid it in a condom as I knew smuggling was high risk and in case the police turned up I wanted to be able to stash it.
Well lo and fucking behold, customs come into my carriage on the train. I flip, swallow it, and I have never known if I shat it out or if I am still digesting it.
I basically want some advice as to what to do. I don't know if I should go to the doctors, take a laxative, get my stomach pumped... I just can't tell if I still have a condom logged in my intestines or not, and want to find out. Please let me know what you think I should do.
TL;DR: | I swallowed a condom 4 years ago, don't know if it's still in my belly. Want advice as to how to find out if it's still there. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Can my uncle financially cripple me and my sister?
POST: Some background: My uncle has not had a good relationship with my father and they have not talked for years. My sister and I have asked both of them, several times, why this rift is there but neither one has given us a clear answer as to why. My father repeatedly states that my uncle is not to be trusted and has tried to be very shady in the past.
A few years back my uncle contacted my sister and I saying that he wanted to leave everything to us when he passed as we were the only people in the family that treated him well. Mainly, my sister and I would say hello and talk with him whenever we saw him. We would not normally get involved and be in the middle of my dad and my uncle but my uncle own family property that is very sentimental to my sister and I. We have signed some paperwork awhile back and have no idea what we ultimately signed (he stated it was for power of attorney). This was quite a few years ago and our step-father took a look at it and said it was fine to sign... however, now he does not remember it and cannot give us details.
Out uncle keeps calling us and wanting us to sign additional paperwork. He has called and gotten our SSNs and we are getting more nervous about this situation. We are even more concerned because he is now talking about us being responsible for everything if he goes into a nursing home in the next five years but if it is longer than five years we will not be responsible. Also he is now talking about selling the property that is so dear to my sister and I. He is only willing to sell it to us now, otherwise he is going to sell it to a third party, but yet he still wants us to sign more paperwork...
He has also talked about trusts. He is possibly in a great deal of debt and we do not want to be responsible for his debts or anything of that kind after he passes, except what would need to be paid from his estate, etc. Please let me know if there is anything we should be afraid of.
TL;DR: | My uncle may be getting back at my dad by making my sister and I financially responsible for all his debt upon his passing. |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: Finally beat the plateau by...walking?
POST: 5"5F SW: 182 CW: 161 GW: 130? We'll see.
Anyway, I was hovering around 162-165 for a couple weeks, even though I was only eating one full meal a day and definitely staying at a significant deficit. Now, I really do want to get into running eventually, but for now I truly enjoy going on long, scenic walks. I typically walk around 3-4 miles a day, 6 times a week. Or at least I had been. I just moved to a new city a week and a half ago and haven't been as strict about my "exercise" aka going on my long walks.
Recently started being strict about going on my long walks again and now I'm down the lowest I've been in years and have officially broken through that plateau. So I guess this is kind of a ramble, but I kinda figured walking wasn't really burning any calories or at least a significant amount but apparently it might be? If anyone has any insight as to how they track calories from walking or total steps per day I would really appreciate it. I would also love to hear from other people who use simply walking as their exercise.
TL;DR: | broke my plateau by possibly walking for exercise. Does anyone else use walking for exercise? How do you personally count calories burned from that? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I (18/F) feel like I love my boyfriend (18/M) more than he loves me.
POST: 5 months after he first told me he loved me (after I told him I loved him first), my bf claimed that while he loved me, he didn't know if what he feels is 'love' love, because he's never been in love before. I'm his first relationship; we've been together 11 months. I was okay with that, since he'd never been in a relationship before, and figuring out whether one is in love can be pretty difficult.
However, recently (a month after he admitted his uncertainty) he has also stated how he doesn't feel super 'intense' emotions. Generally he's a happy guy, and he considers himself 'anti-angst'. This means when we get into a rare fight, he's not all that torn up about it, while I'm a sobbing mess. I've mistaked this lack of concern for him not really caring about me. According to him, he just doesn't do worry.
When I asked him how he felt when I told him I loved him, he said that it was really scary. I asked if he was happy too, and he said yes. However, he admitted that he wasn't incandescently, "eudaimonia-level" happiness.
I've written him poems, made him playlists and necklaces, but he hasn't reciprocated those things. He says he mostly focuses on doing activities together rather than doing things for each other separately.
Now, I know that I'm quite head-over-heels in love with him. We have good communication and we make each other laugh. Yet I can't help but think that when I say 'I love you', he feels obligated to reply and say 'I love you' without actually meaning it. I'm wondering if I can handle this feeling I have that I care more for him than he does for me.
Should I stick it out, and if so is there anything I can do to help him figure out what he feels for me? Obviously I can't 'make' him fall in love, but can I help him clarify his feelings?
TL;DR: | Bf admits he doesn't know if he 'love' loves me, I feel like I care more for him than he does for me, should I stay with him/how can I help him figure out his feelings? |
SUBREDDIT: r/BreakUps
TITLE: I think some of you have been in this same situation. Any advice?
POST: I've [19M] been in a relationship with a girl for two years. She [20F] broke up with me because she wanted to "take a break" or whatever. She said she needed alone time and had a realization that we were so young and she needed to get out and experience things. This was super unlike her and weird.
Now, two months later, she wants me back. She knows she fucked up and went about the breakup the wrong way (she was more harsh about it that I described it). The thing is she had sex with a dude in the two month period. She said she wasn't into it, didn't enjoy it, thought about me the whole time, etc. But I'm having a really hard time with this more than anything else.
Have/Are any of you in a relationship where you have taken a break and they had sex with someone else? Did you forgive them? Even if you thought you forgave them, did it come back and linger when some other argument came up or something? How long did it take to get over it? Do you still trust them?
TL;DR: | girlfriend broke up with me, had sex with another guy, wants me back, and I don't know if I'll be able to forgive her. Has this happened to you? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: My buddy is setting me up with a girl.
POST: Long story short, Me (17), my buddy, my buddy's gf, and my buddy's gf's friend (18) are all going to the mall tomorrow. They want to set me up with her, I have never met her before. I have never been in this "double-date" type situation like this before. I guess their overall goal is to set up this double-date so that there would be some potential for us to start being friendly and start dating. How do you even talk to someone in a situation like that? It would be so awkward! "Oh hi, yeah these two are making you spend the day with me even though you've never met me before!" Honestly, I wouldn't even know how to speak to her. According to my friends i'm a pretty good looking guy that can have a shitty personality at times, but in all honesty I have no self-confidence. I just need to know how I would be able to talk to this girl.
TL;DR: | I am being set up with a girl and I don't know how exactly to talk to her without it getting awkward. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [15 F] with my best friend(also my crush) [15 M] almost a year of friendship, declaration
POST: For almost a year I have had this huge crush on a guy who also happens to be one of my best friends, however in the last five months he was dating with a cutie asian girl that in the end also became a great friend of mine.
There is almost a month they broke up for a especfic reason(I dont think that explaining it will be any good) and today he asked me if I would like to date him. Althought I still have this crush on him I really didn't felt good with the idea, I remembered how happy he seemed with his ex and I really hoped they would sometime get back together and if I accepted his feelings I would probably screw every chance of them to get back. So I said that I would think for a while and in this week would give him the asnwer.
Now, what should I do? Wait for them to get back or accept that this is not anything related to me and start to date my crush?
TL;DR: | Crush wants to date me but I think he should get back with his ex and I don't want to inteferer. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Why would someone break\enter into a house and not steal anything?
POST: Hi Reddit - This morning I was coming downstairs to let my cat and dog outside when I hear something that wasn't quite a a bang but definitely a repeated slamming on my front door. I yelled down "What is going on down there" and ran back to put on pants, I didn't want to potentially confront someone just wearing a robe, and ran back downstairs. When I did I saw that just the screen part of my screen door was taken out and on the ground and bent so I'm pretty sure that what was being slammed or pulled at. The door wasn't locked though. This was at around 9 this morning.
Later my boyfriend's son whose bedroom is in the basement told me he was woken up early this morning (not sure on the exact time) because the basement was colder than usual and he saw that the cellar door was open. So I think someone came in through the cellar door, despite none of the upstairs doors being locked (we live in what I thought was a very safe neighborhood) and then maybe hung around for a bit. The thing is as far as I can tell nothing is stolen. We have a tv, game systems, and a bunch of games and none of it was taken. We don't keep our laptops, phones, or money in common spaces and I don't think anyone tried to get into bedrooms.
I just don't get it. Why would anyone go out of their way to get into a house in a more difficult than necessary way (through the cellar door even though all the doors on the main level are unlocked) and not steal anything? It's pretty deeply unsettling and I think it's mostly because I don't understand what the motivation would be. Especially, why they would decide to make such an obvious ruckus with front door at such a normal time for people to be up and doing things. It's just weird. Any thoughts?
TL;DR: | There is strong evidence that someone entered my house at some point early this morning, didn't steal anything, and then made a bizarre amount of noise this morning. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: I got scammed with counterfeit money orders.
POST: On the 16th, I deposited 2 $975 money orders into my US Bank account. They were somewhat suspicious, so when I went in the next day I asked how long it takes to verify they are not fraudulent. The teller told me to wait 3 days to access the money to be sure. On the 19th I called the fraud department and, after voicing my concerns, was told the money was fine to access and that there were no Fraud Alerts. I proceeded to use most of the money to pay my bills, only to find that on the 29th, the money orders turned out to be counterfeit. So they debited my account for $1,950 and sent me a letter saying "Sorry you got screwed." I have 3 conversations recorded from Bank reps; and 2 of those reps told me that it takes no more than 3 days for the funds to clear. They basically told me to find the crook who gave me the money orders. The problem is that that person, as one would expect, disappeared. Should the bank be held accountable to their word? Or what?
TL;DR: | I deposited 2 counterfeit money orders that I was paid with. The bank debited my account for the balance, even though they had told me that the funds were clear. The crook disappeared. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [24M] live with my ex wife [24F] for the next week. She brought this guy over today.
POST: I broke things off with my wife and we're divorced now. She's living with me for another week until she moves out in 5 days. She's using the master bedroom until she moves out which has my bed in it while I sleep in the spare bedroom. Things have been fine but today she said she was going to have a friend over which is fine with me. However, turns out this friend is a guy. I saw her on Tinder the other day which we all know what the app is for. The last thing I want is for her to sleep with someone in my bed or house for that matter. I mean sure I'm seeing other people but I'm not inviting them to my home while she has been staying here.
Advice? Should I let this play out see what happens? Text her something? They're in the living room right now playing mario kart.
TL;DR: | Ex wife staying with me for another 5 days. Saw her on Tinder. "Guy friend" over. Don't want any shenanigans playing out in my house. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24 F] with my boyfriend [25 M] of 6 months. Am I being crazy?
POST: I don't want to make this long. Throwaway for obvious reasons. I know this is a mediocre issue and its driving me crazy to try and figure out why its upsetting me so much.
I have been in a stable relationship with my boyfriend for 6 months. We live together, he has a son and soon to be ex wife. We barely fight, I've told him my biggest secrets and I trust him more than everyone in my life. We get along great, same tastes etc etc.
My issue starts with one of his friends. When he was married, he had another girl living in the house with him. She and him were good friends, and after the marriage break up (wife cheated, the friend knew!), the girl, lets call her pinky, started apologising... saying she was sorry, and that she should have told him from the start. Ending up trying to ask him out. He shot her down though, and stayed friends with her.
My issue is now during the past months. This sounds incredibly stupid, but for some reason, gets to me really bad. Everytime I post a photo on facebook of my boyfriend, or his son, she likes it. Although whenever there is a photo of my boyfriend and myself, or myself and his son... She ignores it. I understand how crazy this sounds... but I post a lot of photos! I feel like its insulting that she's doing this!
Not to mention a few weeks back started talking to my boyfriend again... Asking him how his ex is, and trying to reminisce about their old times of living together... Starting conversations off with "remember that time....". She hasn't mentioned me when they talk, but my boyfriend does occasionally bring me up. First message was asking how he was going and he replied with something like "moved in with throaway and enjoying life etc", but she COMPLETELY ignored me.
TL;DR: | I AM CRAZY about my boyfriends friend liking photos and reminising about the past and I don't know what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Best way to get over an ex?
POST: Ex broke up with me 3 months ago. We'd dated for 3 years and she constantly talked about marriage and the future, so I didnt really see it coming. She ended it because she was unsure if it would work long term (ironically).
Fast forward- I was upset/grieving for a month and a half. Since then I have gone on quite a few dates with some nice girls. The dates have been fun and Im still dating one regularly.
Problem: When Im alone I sometimes still get sad and miss the ex even though I really like the new girls, and their personalities are more like mine. Does anyone have good strategies for forgetting about Ex's, or tips that go them through something similar.
I have a very supportive friend network, and I am very physically active (gym, sports), but I still find myself gettign sad when Im alone once in a while.
TL;DR: | Dumped by long term GF, still a bit sad sometimes. I want strategies or tips for forgetting about the ex so i can focus on new things. What worked for you? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Boyfriend never replies to my messages... makes me feel like a nuisance
POST: Boyfriend and I [f] are both 18, been together for five months. It's been a long-distance relationship so far but we're about to start attending the same college.
He's temporarily without internet until he moves into his dorm and to put it bluntly, he's crap at communicating. I'll get maybe one text every couple of days if I'm lucky and he rarely replies to my texts, which kind of makes me feel like I'm annoying him so then I stop texting him which just results in not hearing from him at all. Email is a little better but then he'll just randomly stop replying in the middle of a conversation. We get on great in person but the minute we're apart, it just feels like he is being distant again.
I can't tell if I'm being overly paranoid/needy and he's normal, or if he's the one with the communication problem :(
TL;DR: | Long-distance boyfriend isn't communicating very much with me at the moment (text or email), can't tell if he's the one with the problem or if I'm overreacting. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Would you rather be in a peaceful, repetitive 'assembly line' type job? Or in a job where your duties vary day to day and your boss constantly yells at you?
POST: Right now I work part time for a tiny website company. I do customer service and then pretty much any work that my boss tells me to do (emails, meetings, research, marketing etc.). He complains about my work for most of the day and repeatedly puts me down.
Let me state that this is a part time job, only 25 hours a week.
I'd say that I was the issue in the situation, but our clients constantly praise me and I have doubled our client base since I started a few months ago. He tells me this makes him proud and is the only reason I still work for him. (this I still find slightly insulting)
I have an opportunity to double my hours working for a tech company in an assembly line. It's quiet work with little supervision and minimal responsibilities.
Have any of you ever made a switch this drastic? I'm just looking for a little advice. The pickings for jobs are slim and these seem to be my only options right now.
TL;DR: | I have a verbally abusive boss; I was presented with brainless job. Should I take it? Which do you feel is a worse scenario? |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Need advice on handling apartment management who is asking us to move in later than the date on the lease [Chicago, IL] (X-post /r/personalfinance)
POST: My SO and I recently signed the lease on a 2 bedroom apartment beginning September 1, and have sublet our current apartment also beginning September 1.
The current tenant in our new apartment said they would be moving out August 7 (they did) and that we could move in earlier if we choose. As a result, building management told us - verbally and over emai - that they would get the house cleaned up for us (they have promised to rip out the carpet, add laminate floors, change the dishwasher, stove, and blinds) by September 1. We were told that they would let us know about our potential move-in date once they could estimate how long it would take to get the work done.
Yesterday, building management emailed us and said that the current tenant who has already moved out isn't willing to give back their keys until August 31st. She asked if we could move in later than September 1 to give them time to get the work done. We said no - our apartment has already been sublet as of September 1. We provided her with three options:
- Talk to the current tenant and see if they are willing to give the keys back sooner
- Give us another apartment in the building temporarily until ours is ready
- We move in as scheduled, and get the contractors to work around us and in a piecemeal fashion
She said no to all of the above, and instead asked if we would be willing to pay the current tenant one week of rent to ask her to move out early. Or if we could move in later than Sep 1, they would prorate our rent.
What are our options? What is the best way to handle this?
TL;DR: | Building management is asking us to move in later than date on the lease, or pay current tenants to move out early because they promised us apartment improvements by Sep 1, which they are no longer able to provide. How to respond? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (M 28) stay in relationships more for the companionship then for the possibility of love/marriage.
POST: I realized that after the end of a recent 7 month relationship that the biggest enjoyment I have gotten out of relationships I have had over the last year is the idea of having someone enjoyable to spend my time with, someone to make happy and in return, me. The problem is that even if I know I am not going to marry these woman, or even fall in love with them, I still will not end the relationship because I just like having the idea of having someone.
You see, I moved to a large city last summer and I am still having problems making friends, so when I start to date a new woman its like I have a friend, plus all of her friends, so that becomes very enjoyable. Again, its not like I treat these woman poorly, I treat them very well, and we generally like hanging out with one another. However, at the back of my mind is a voice saying "you're using her, you need to stop" because she thinks that there is a possibility of love even if there is not.
This has happened twice over the last year and is about to happen again, I mean I like this woman I am dating now but I know I am not going to marry her because we really don't have that much in common.
I know this is not right and that I need to stop, so how do I stop doing this to people?
Thank you.
TL;DR: | Even if I know I am not going to fall in love with the person, I will continue on with the relationship because I enjoy having someone. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: (TIFU) by letting my SO give me a concussion.
POST: I had upset my girlfriend and to help her let out aggression i suggested she punches me in the face.With gloves of course and I recently bought a punching bag kit that came with gloves as a gift to my roommate. So gloves in hand, I go downstairs to get some blows to the head in the name of love..
Welp, that was a bad drunk decision.
8 jabs to my dome later i get dizzy and nauseous. Then sleepy which is when she stopped and i lay down on the bed. She immediately started pulling my hair HARD. She stated i might have a concussion so i need to stay awake.
I don't know if i was actually concussed. I was incredibly tired and dizzy. Had a pretty intense headache for a portion of the next day that is kind of lingering around.
I really just wanted her to come hang out.
TL;DR: | Upset girlfriend. Suggest she punches me in the head with boxing gloves. She does like 7-9 times and gives me a possible minor concussion. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by trying to help a stranger save a few bucks.
POST: I ordered a car part online for store pick up at a major national auto part retailer. When I went up to the counter, the couple in front of me were talking to the clerk about electrical problems in their car. The clerk, a young guy, recommended a new battery, but said that it's no guarantee that it will fix the problem. He said a refurbished one would cost ~$125 and a brand new one would be ~$180, and that batteries could not be returned. I interrupted and told the couple that I recently got a brand new battery from (major warehouse club) for only ~$70 (after core return). They left on the spot.
I'm normally very reserved around strangers but I was feeling brave, so I figure, why not help some obviously working class people (they were driving a 90s Corolla) save $50 or more. I'm sure the part store doesn't pay employees commission, so I figured the clerk wouldn't mind. In fact, I thought he'd be glad to get them out of his hair half an hour before closing.
So after they left, I told the clerk I had an online order for pickup. He told me he didn't know how to fulfill online orders and that I should go to the other counter (which had 3-4 people). After waiting there for a bit, I kind of (very gently) guilted the original guy into trying to process my order and helping out the busy dude. When he agreed, I told him "you probably don't mind what I said, since it's not like you get commission or anything". He said he didn't, but he was acting very weird and mumbling under his breath. He looked up the order on the screen since it was an online order, it had my name, address, and phone number. He took a while to retrieve the part I ordered, but I got it and I was on my way.
Once I got in my car I got all paranoid that he messed with the part, so I went to a different branch of the same parts chain and exchanged it for an identical part.
TL;DR: | The obviously disgruntled store clerk has all my personal information and a grudge. I should've kept my damn mouth shut and saved myself the hassle and paranoia. Nothing has really happened, though. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Is it unreasonable to ask for short term monogamy? (23F and M)
POST: The man I'm seeing right now is essentially a repeat summer fling (we don't live in the same city). Saw each other last year, and started seeing each other again this summer. Maybe 7 months all together. We mostly party together once or twice a week. I know his friends now, they seem pretty fond of me. Last year I saw more of him alone due to circumstances (we went traveling with a group of his friends, but our tent was in a different area so we spent a fair bit of time together alone).
Everything is pretty sweet. I'd like to spend more time with him individually because I haven't seen as much of him alone this year, but otherwise it's exactly what I'm looking for before we both move. In a month we're both going to be gone. But, I have HPV and unless he's willing to risk it I can't have sex. I always use condoms, but despite them I either got it from him or my ex boyfriend who I was with aftwrward. Obviously, my fling knows about this. Last year my fling subtly brought up that he prefers short term monogamy - great, me too... but since I can't have (penetrative) sex I'm not sure if it's the same this year. We're still sexually active and I'd rather not catch something else, but since there's only a month left and we're not having proper sex it also seems a bit unreasonable. Can kind of go both ways, it's only a month so it's not a lot to ask // it's only a month so it's not worth it.
Of course, the reason why I'm wondering if I should bring it up is because he's still active on Tinder - where we met and "rekindled ". He recently changed his profile, and the app had the little red 1 (he was showing me something on his phone, scrolled past the app), likely indicating a new message. Before this, it seems like he wasn't active on the app after we started seeing each other, so it seems like a new development.
TL;DR: | My 2x summer fling is active on Tinder. We were monogamous last year, but this year I have HPV. Is it too much to ask for a month of monogamy? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Anyone's relationship ever survive one person moving out? (35M / 27F)
POST: So, my girlfriend just moved in to her own place... about 75 meters away from our previous place where I will remain. Literally takes less than a minute to walk between the two places. We have not broken up, but we've been on a edge for awhile, but ever since this became a thing we've been great together. We were frankly at eachother's throats when we were living together (we work together currently, but didn't start our relationship of 2 years working together), so the idea now is to allow eachother to have some personal space while still being together, and not have to be forced to see eachother literally 24 hours every day. I'm unsure what to think. Has anyone ever been in a relationship that survived a moveout? On some level it feels like a step backward, but maybe it's just a better way to organize our lives right now.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend moved out but we haven't broken up. Has anyone ever been in a relationship that survived a moveout? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24 M] with my gf [22 F] 2 years, I may have made a poor gesture that might cause a problem
POST: It's a situation that I am just realizing after buying tickets for Halloween Horror Nights.
I love Halloween Horror Nights (always have loved Halloween) and my girlfriend is scared of everything and I mean everything. She once cried from fear after seeing a shadow moving in our room. She is easily scared... One time she tried to scare me, saw her reflection and ended up scaring herself (I'm not kidding). She will not watch any horror movies alone and even if she is with me she will either put it on mute or cover her eyes during certain scenes. I haven't been to Halloween Horror Nights for a few years and I saw an ad for it and when I saw it I thought it would be a lot of fun for us so I surprised her with tickets/ reserved a hotel for the trip.
She knows I bought passes that covers a few days and is jokingly saying she is going to be so scared and I better not scare her (I won't), but I do not think she knows how scary Halloween Horror Nights can really be. The more I think about it, the more I am getting concerned. I am truly hoping she can just be scared and laugh about it and not be scared and petrified about it. I have been worrying that she might just freeze with fear, cry, and want to leave immediately.
Is this going to be a bad move on my part? Do you think she would hate me for this (for bringing her to hhn)? Any advice for helping someone who is so easily scared be able to enjoy it?
TL;DR: | Bought tickets for me and my gf to go to Halloween Horror Nights. She is very easily scared. Should I go through with it and bring her or do you think it could scar her/ our relationship for life? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskDocs
TITLE: My boyfriend has a broken back and I have a couple questions.
POST: So my boyfriend fell about 18 Meters when we were rock climbing and fractured 3 of his lower Vertebrae as well as two ribs. This is the second night after he has been home after two weeks in hospital and I noticed when I was putting his brace on for him (TLSO/ Hip spiker is what they called it) a large kind of lump on his back. No biggie I thought, naturally it should be a little swollen. But tonight when I was comforting him I was gently rubbing his back and the lump felt like I was pushing on a hot water bottle. He says it doesn't hurt but I'm a little worried. We are in a small secluded town so I can't really just take him back to the hospital (3 hour drive) but I do have to take him in two weeks for the check up. Should I be worried? Or should I just mention it when we go back in two weeks? Also do you have any suggestions for me to help make life easier for him? Greatly appreciated. I can post photos if necessary.
TL;DR: | My boyfriend fell while rock climbing and broke his back now part of his back feels like pressing on a hot water bottle. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Update: I [23 M] met a great girl [20 F] that I am not attracted to but she is absolutely smitten by me
POST: [Original](
I guess this will be fairly short as it really wasn't a very lived long experience. Also, to clarify, when I say short amount of time, I'm talking I met this girl a couple of days ago and we haven't been on any dates or anything yet. There was the night we met (nothing happened, really it was just more than introducing ourselves and she pretty much fell in love at first sight) and then we've only talked on skype and a few texts.
So I told her today I told her that I felt that she was moving a bit too quick. She asked what I meant and I said that she seemed like she was falling a little to fast for me. She sort of denied it at first, but then I asked her if I was wrong and she sort of shyly said no. A bit later she sort of apologized for being so full on and open and I told her it was alright, but that I didn't want her to get hurt if things don't work out. I told her that she's a great girl, but I just didn't really feel anything or see any chemistry.
Naturally that's where things went south. I haven't really heard from her since but I have heard from her roommate/best friend. Seems to me like the poor girl is crying herself to sleep :/
TL;DR: | I put on my big boy pants, grew up a little bit and broke the girl's heart and that's about all I know |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Does my friend like me or is he just petty
POST: So my friend (16, male) changed his profile picture to a boy hugging a pikachu, which is funny because my profile picture is a pikachu. Then a friend of ours was teasing him saying he changed it just because he liked me. So the original guy said that wasnt why he changed it, and to further prove his point he said that if he wanted to changed it because he liked me, he'd have changed it to something in particular, and sent an even more explicit picture. And then actually put that more explicit picture as his profile picture, I asked him why he did it and he said it was just to further prove his point, but all this is so confusing, is he trying to tell me he likes me in some weird convoluted way or did he really just set it because hes petty?
Btw I'm a girl, 15
TL;DR: | My Friend is making it look like he likes me, is he trying to tell me something or is he just stupid? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: How do I [21/F] remain patient when I am ready to commit but he (26/m) isn't?
POST: I've never been in a situation before where I'm the one who is ready to take the next step but they aren't; looking for some advice.
Anyway, for context we met and immediately hit it off a little over a month ago. We've been spending a lot of time together, it generally ends up being about 4 days a week or so. We both are not seeing other people. We've made some small steps- I've met his friends, and a number of other things that in my mind would lead down the path to commitment. The sex has gotten increasingly better since it started, and we are connecting on an emotional level well too. Yesterday I asked him where we are at and he said he wanted to keep it casual for now mainly because he wants to take things slowly and he's not fully over an ex. The last part surprised me a little bit, I've heard before he wants to take it slow but not about the ex.
TL;DR: | We clicked immediately about a month ago, things are going great, but he doesn't want full commitment yet because he wants to take things slowly, and he isn't fully over an ex. |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: International Girl + Psychology + New to Business = Job in Business? (help!)
POST: Hey everyone ,
I'm an international who studied in the US for university -- I've attended American schools overseas all my life but, due to some clerical errors/family errors regarding immigration, I was never made a citizen. I just graduated!
I studied psych in a pretty good university and focused a lot on Consumer Behavior/Psychology. I even did my own senior research project on it.
Now, having just got out of school, I'm looking for jobs in business or maybe finance. I have basic knowledge of economics and am constantly reading to improve my understanding. I did a lot of research related things which translate well to some business, such as handling large amounts of data, presentations, ability to multitask etc
I'm trying to find places that hire internationals after OPT (mine starts late June) but it's so difficult. I missed the main hiring period last year and, being completely new to this, I have no idea where to start.
Any advice would be great!
TL;DR: | international gal needs a job/info one jobs in business and can do psych/consumerism stuff. wants your help, please! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: (24/m) Kind of a missed connection but advice on contacting her (24ish/f) now?
POST: So I was visiting my family in a small town about two hours from where I (24/m) currently live. We were having dinner at a restaurant and the waitress and I were chatting pretty well. Cute girl...whatever. Didn't think much of it other than it's her job. But my sister and female cousin suggested that she was obviously flirting with me and it made sense. They suggested I get her number, which I think she would have given me, but I didn't want to put anyone in an awkward situation so I didn't try. But I kind of regretted it.
Fast forward to today when I'm browsing Facebook and I come across her profile because we have mutual friends (not friends I still keep in contact with but the acquaintances that you never remove from your friends list). With 100% sincerity, I wasn't creeping her. There aren't many people our age in the town I was in so it was just a lucky coincidence. So should I try to send her a message, what should I say, should I just give her a poke and see what she's thinking, or should I just chalk it up as a loss and not worry about it? This is an odd situation for me so any advice would be appreciated.
TL;DR: | Cute girl was flirting with me and I missed the chance at the time so what should I do now vis-a-vis contacting her on the facebook? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [31 F] with my husband [33 M] of 9 years, he possibly wants to break up because of LDR for a year
POST: I´m 500 km away for a year for work (we are a month into it) after being together for nine years. I was unemployed for a year and had a hard time with it, and I´m just starting to heal my damaged confidence and self-worth. He is having difficulties with our time apart and just told me on the phone that he is associating me with bad feelings now. He says I´m the most important person in his life and he is confused with these conflicting emotions.
I asked him if it´s a: he wants deep down to break up, but can´t yet face it and wants to do it slowly, or b: being away hurts him and wants to kill his feelings for me to feel better. He said he doesn´t know and we should talk about it more. Which is fine for me, I think such feelings are better out than inside in the head. He has huge difficulties falling asleep alone, and is very sleep deprived. He went to a pool today just to sleep where people are. I don´t know if sleep deprivation is influencing him or I´m just deluding myself.
Does anyone has any advice? Support? Harsh advice is welcome, too.
TL;DR: | My husband is having a real difficult time with our LDR, possibly wants to break up and let me down gently. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by attempting a flip on a trampoline
POST: This happened a while ago, actually. My little brother had his birthday party at [Bounce] which is, obviously, full of trampolines. Now, for the FU.
I was on the [Big Bag] and I was bouncing towards the end of it. Suddenly, I had a brainwave to try and attempt a front flip. I must admit, I've never been a flexible person, so I ended up faceplanting into the bag.
At first, I was fine and thought nothing of it. Then I checked to see that my glasses (which I had been wearing the entire time) had broken. At this point, I was starting to panic. Suddenly, I felt some liquid starting to come out of my nose, which I instantly recognised as blood, so I ran up to the room where the parents hang out and called out to my mum. She rushed me into the bathroom and called to the staff for help. They gave me a whole heap of tissues and I was told to keep my head up and pinch the bridge of my nose to slow down the blood flow. By now, I was in immense pain.
I looked in the mirror and saw myself covered in blood. It wasn't just on my face, it was all over my shirt, in my mouth, in my hair, on my arms, on my shirt, on my shorts and down my legs, not to mention I had left a trail of blood on the floor, leading into the bathroom. I could've sworn I lost 1 litre of blood that day!
When the blood flow ceased a bit, I was taken outside for some fresh air. One person from the staff comforted me as I sat there, crying in pain and embarrassment. The other people that were inside the place had come out to see me. One woman even asked if I had broken my nose.
Shortly afterwards, my mum took me to the medical centre that she works in. As it turns out, I had scratched a blood vessel in my nose, hence all the blood. They gave me some stuff to seal up the scratch in my blood vessel (which stung like hell!) and I was sent back home. As for my broken glasses, I got a new pair.
Worst birthday party ever!
TL;DR: | attempted a backflip at a trampoline place, faceplanted, broke my glasses and scratched a blood vessel in my nose, causing blood to go absolutely everywhere! |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by leaving my keys in the same exact spot as I usually do.
POST: So this TIFU started yesterday, but I had not realized it until today. This morning at 5:20am to be exact. As I was getting ready to leave for work (read: practically running out of the door because I had hit snooze 3 times), I soon realized that my keys were nowhere to be found. I have a nearly two hour commute that involves driving to the train station and taking several subways. If I miss this train, I will be late for work. I also have a key to work and am often the first one there/last one to leave. After sprinting around the house for a couple of minutes, I ask my mom if she has seen my keys. She says no. She then remembers that my grandma was left unattended yesterday near the front of the house where I always leave my keys. My grandma has dementia and often takes/hides things. I still haven't found my keys. And no, she doesn't remember taking them. On the plus side, I grabbed my spare car key and made it to work on time. On the downside, I had to wait outside in the rain for 15 minutes this morning waiting for someone to let me in.
TL;DR: | Left keys where I normally do and now they are most likely in grandma's super secret hideout spot, that no one can find, including herself. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19F] was dumped by my ex [18 M] after an on and off relationship for 3 1/2 years.
POST: Basically it has been 2 months since my ex dumped me and i'm still confused with the reason as to why, we still remain close friends and I visit him on a weekly basis to help out with stuff. However within a month (probably less) he met another girl who has already been to his and he's obsessed with her which hurts as it makes it feel like these 3 years mean nothing to him; however he never claimed they were dating and during that time we slept together a couple of times. A month later he found out the girl went to the party and kissed someone else, he was pissed, blocked her everywhere and suddenly started behaving strangely around me and is well, cold overall, ignoring my messages and "wants space".
He isn't the type of guy to talk about his feelings i'm aware of this and i'm just simply asking.. what is with him overall? I'm confused with the breakup, how he moved on so fast and how cold he's suddenly turned.
We've had a few breaks in our relationship where he went cold for a month and came back but this time i'm truly unsure :/
TL;DR: | I am basically confused and don't know how to feel about this overall as not only has he moved on so quickly but turned cold too |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I[14M/M] need help with getting a date with [14F]. I won't be seeing her in person for a while and I'm not sure whether I should wait or text.
POST: Background info:: I was at a mutual friend's house, and I was talking to this girl, and things were going pretty smoothly, and then she invited me to go woth her and her friends to a fair that was going on. Normally I'd be able to go but I was extremely busy with family buisiness so i couldn't go.
Now:: I want to set something up but the only way I can talk to her is over text, and I'm not sure whether I a
should wait for another event (which is in over 2 weeks) or if I should try to set up something earlier. I've also never went on a date/had a girlfriend or anything before, to give some context.
TL;DR: | Want to try to set up a date with someone who I really got to know through a mutual friend, but I can only use text. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18F] with my LDR boyfriend [21M] of almost 2 years. I think he's cheating on me.
POST: Where do I even begin?
Not too long ago, we both got through a very stressful period and (Skype) sex was less frequent, but still at least once a week or every other week.
The last 2 months, he has been turning me down every single time I initiated sex. He used to be the one who initiated 99% of the time and almost always sent me nudes when I asked. When I brought up to him that I feel undesired because of the constant rejection, he said he would work on it but so far, nothing has changed.
Not only that, he became incredibly distant but still assures me that he cares about me and that he loves me very much. He also doesn't tell me what he has done in the day or his plans for the day and his whereabouts, aside from very vague details. (E.g. 'Nothing much' - I fucking hate this phrase!)
I'm just kinda confused right now. Part of me thinks he's cheating because of how distant he became, how vague he is with details about his daily life and how he went from super/matching high libidos to someone who has been turning me down constantly but the other part of me thinks he just has lesser interest in sex now.
How do I fix this? :(
TL;DR: | I think my boyfriend of almost 2 years is cheating on me because he acts distant, rejects me constantly when I initiate and overall acts sketchy about his day |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: My weight-loss journey so far has been like trying to solve a Rubik's Cube
POST: I've recently realized that my journey to a healthy weight has been a lot like trying to solve a Rubik's Cube. Whenever I try different approaches to get there, it seems some aspects just don't line up and I have to backtrack and try a different approach/combination of things. Here is my story:
My journey to lose weight/become healthy started about 3-4 years ago when I decided I wanted to look better for my wedding. At that time, I jumped on board the Herbalife bandwagon and ended up losing quite a bit of weight. This was through 2 shakes a day and a "healthy" dinner. Shortly after the wedding, I stopped with the shakes and gained all the weight back, and then some.
I let myself go for about another year or so until I saw a picture of myself from November of 2014 at my heaviest (~215) and decided that enough is enough. Starting in January of 2015 I got a gym membership and became really active with cardio. I didn't change my eating habits at all so I really wasn't losing any weight/fat.
About May of 2015 I found this subreddit and decided to start counting calories and nix the exercise for awhile. Lost some weight, but didn't quite have the progress I was hoping for. Added in more exercise later that summer and FINALLY saw some progress!
A few months later, life happened and I wasn't able to really count calories or exercise so my weight loss stalled. A few months later life reversed itself and I was able to try again.
This time I chose to start on a really low-carb diet and go easy on the exercise. Saw some really great results the first couple of weeks but quickly realized that it was unsustainable for a long period of time so eased up on the strict carb-restriction.
Currently, I'm fully invested in C25K and strength training but haven't been as diligent on the calorie counting as I should be. For some reason, I just can't get all of the pieces to fit together at the same time. But like a real Rubik's Cube, it will take me awhile to fully solve the weight-loss puzzle, but when I do it's going to feel amazing!!
TL;DR: | My weight-loss journey is like a Rubik's cube. I'm constantly trying to rotate pieces of the puzzle until I figure out the winning combination to reach my goals. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26 F] with my bf [27 M] for about 2 years, he got into a 5 year med school program in the UK and I am going to be going to grad school in the US. We are thinking of long distance, how long was your longest long distance, what makes it work and is long distance this long even possible?
POST: We met about two years ago when i moved to the same city as him. We live together now, and we get along really really well, rarely have arguments, and are like peas in a pod. This recent year we both decided to jump start our careers and we both took the necessary tests and applied to professional graduate schools.
Things worked out really well, and my bf applied to vet school and got accepted to a 5 year school in London. I'm super happy for him, but also really sad because I also got into med school, but a 5 year program in the US. He is thinking of transferring back to a school in the US after a year if he can, to be closer to me, but there is a big chance the transfer won't work out (since a lot of factors go into making a transfer successful), in which case he would have to stay there the entire 5 years.
Looking for advice from couples who have done extensive long distance and succeeded coming back together. How did you guys make it work? What is important to remember to make long distance successful, especially if your S.O. is in a different country? And is long distance that is for this long even possible? A lot of people have been telling me that 5 years is too long, but I think we have a relationship that is exceptionally mature and could be more than willing to invest being in a long distance relationship for 5 years since we think it could be worth it.
TL;DR: | We both got into grad school, him in the UK for a 5 year program, me in the US for 5 years. Want to do long distance, how do we make it work? |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: You asked me to dance, but I don't know how
POST: I liked you all of 8th grade, I wrote you so many poems, but was ignored in the end. I asked you out for junior prom, you told me you were going with your cousin or something like that. Eventually I got over you and moved on.
Last night we were at a party, and you said "Let's dance". I told you "I don't know how to dance" and then you left.
I feel so confused right now. I really regret not dancing with you, I thought about it all night. I don't know if this is some sort of sign or anything. Are you trying to tell me something? Am I just not getting something? I'm probably overthinking this but I just needed to get this off my chest. Thanks for reading.
TL;DR: | Was at a party, girl I used to like in 8th grade wanted to dance with me, I told her I don't know how to dance, I don't know that it means. |
SUBREDDIT: r/running
TITLE: Thank you, /r/running!
POST: I started training for a marathon in May, and I had been loyal to my schedule until two weeks ago. I went away on vacation for a week and unfortunately didn't keep up my running. The week was filled with the beach, drinking, and friends - which I thoroughly enjoyed - but I was riddled with guilt when I returned. I have found it difficult to find my motivation again until I stumbled upon /r/running. Thank you for all your posts. They are inspirational and gave me the kick in the butt I needed. I just came in from my 4 mile run. It wasn't pretty, but I feel like everything is right in the world again. Thank you once again, /r/running.
TL;DR: | I lost my motivation to run when I went on vacation, but /r/running helped me find my mojo again. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What is your craziest doing something bad as a teen and never getting caught/ found out story?
POST: Mine is: I met a pretty cool guy at Warped Tour when I was a teen. He was from CT and did a lot of sailing. Thinking this was pretty cool, I decided to visit him. My Mum was away that weekend. She was pretty trusting. I was about 17. She told me to be good and left. I took the whole weekend off of work and got my oil changed in preparation for the 240 miles drive I was about to do in my '96 Jeep Cherokee. That Sunday, my Mum called my work to "say hi." They told her I wasn't there and had taken the whole weekend off.
She calls me and says "WHERE ARE YOU?!" Not wanting to admit that I was in the middle of Niantic Bay, CT on a sailboat with a guy I had known for about 3 days, I lied and said I went to see a long-time friend/ boyfriend whom had just gone off to college in NY. Still in trouble, but in a lot less.
I still to this day have not told her where I actually was. But I think she knows it was elsewhere.
TL;DR: | In high school, drove from Philly to CT to see a guy I had just met. Mum found out, lied, still to this day doesn't know where I really was. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [29m] of 7 months won't accept the social media request specifying our relationship I [24f] sent three months ago.
POST: I've been seeing this guy for 7 months. At the beginning we kept it really quiet because we worked together (we don't anymore) but starting the very end of November we made it official.
He is from New York but we met in California, which is where we both reside now. His direct family knows about me, according to what I have heard and those who I have met personally, but he is very particular about what photos of the two of us he approves on social media to be seen by his friends list.
Before he left NY he was engaged to a girl from a sister sorority and she ended up cheating on him, so I understand that he may not trust women. Or even, may understand his family's distrust of women he dates? If that's a possibility..
Regardless, I, given my own past relationship experiences and personal insecurities, can't help but think he is hiding our relationship from his across-country friends because he is embarrassed of being with me.
He is very shy and has been cheated on in the last two serious relationships he has had. I have tried to address his sexual "downfalls," for lack of a better term, very politely and he seems to appreciate the guidance, but what can I do from here? Any ideas as to why he wont admit exclusivity? I feel that I have been very patient and understanding but we are approaching 7months and nothing has changed. Am I paranoid?
TL;DR: | my cross-country boyfriend of almost 7 months refuses to admit our exclusivity on social media. Am I overreacting? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (23F) went on a Tinder friendly meeting with my Tinder match (26M) and his friend (26M) while they were on holidays. I like his friend...
POST: I met John on Tinder. He was visiting my country with his best friend Sam for a week. For one night they were in my town and John said 'hi' on Tinder and ask me if I wanted to join them for a little tour. I said yes and we met in the evening.
It was really great night, we had some drinks, ate, talked, joked and laughed... I really enjoyed. They said that they did too.
Tomorrow John said that he enjoyed, that he wished we were alone, asked me if I wanted something more... I played cool, especially because we live quite far away (different european countries, 2 hour flight away) and we didn't speak much about that anymore, but we stayed in touch.
TL;DR: | I went on Tinder meeting with Tinder match and his friend. I like his friend and don't know should I do anything about |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Would you be weirded out to hear "I love you" via text/Skype/phone/Facetime for the first time? I'm 27m she is 25f
POST: I'm currently in a long distance relationship until October, but every day that goes by, I care about her more. I'm about 80% sure she'd say it back to me. I just don't know if I can wait. I bought us airfare for a getaway to Hawaii over Labor Day (I am in Japan and she is in the US, so it is halfway). But even at that, I'd have to wait until the end of August to tell her.
I don't know if it is even a big deal for other people, but to me it is. I love her and I want her to know how I feel. It just feels so impersonal to do it via text/skype/call/Facetime.
TL;DR: | Would you be weirded out to hear "I love you" via text/Skype/phone/Facetime for the first time |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [27m] with my Girlfriend [24/F] of 14 months, thinking of breaking up because she throws tantrums
POST: Hey all,
I have been dating a girl for the past 14 months. We see eachother many times per week and talk to eachother on the phone every day. We get along great generally, I love her, but she's driving me insane.
The problem is that she has the habit of throwing tantrums when she doesn't get what she wants. She loses control. It can be over the silliest of things. For example, a few days ago we were playing a NBA video game and I beat her (close game) and she completely flipped out. It resulted in her walking out and damaging my door (slammed it). When we were on a trip, she threw a tantrum because I wasn't taking the pictures like she wanted (got pissed, started screaming and ditched me). She usually realizes that she screwed up and wanders back after a few hours - though, inevitably trying to lay the blame on me and asking for an apology. She has a history of getting mad at people and has burned bridges with many friends and family.
She's not always like this. These episodes happen maybe once every week or two. When she's not throwing tantrums, she's often subtly guilt tripping me with exaggerated sad responses (oh, ooooooookay) when I don't go along with her.
It's weird because outside of these behaviours, she's great. She goes out of her way to make me happy, she's reliable, we can talk for hours, she's active and generous in bed, she's smart with a fantastic job and I know she truly cares about me.
I tried discussing this stuff with her in the past, but she usually just ends up crying then asking me to apologize for hurting her feelings. It's really weird.
I kind of put my foot down after the game episode and told her I wanted a 1 week break. I'm really not sure where to go from now on. I love her, so it's hard for me to break up with her. On the other hand, I know this isn't healthy and she needs to get her shit in order.
Any advice?
TL;DR: | 27m with 24f girlfriend, girlfriend throws tantrums over the silliest of things. Thinking of breaking up with her |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (23f) found out my husband (33m) has been going to a nude beach, by himself, fairly often. Idk how to approach this.
POST: The title pretty much explains it, I'm looking for advice because I'm at a bit of a loss
Background... We live in NJ about 5-10 minutes from a nude beach, he's actually from here. Like he grew up here, and he grew up going to that beach. He's surfs before and after work, he is a beach person, but when he wants to relax or chill out he goes to the nude beach. He was up front about that with me from the day we met. I didn't mind much, I've never been there and I told him that's cool, maybe one day I'll feel comfortable trying to go there. That day hasn't come yet for me.
Anyways I found some receipts in his car that kind of gave it away. I went looking one day for his car while he said he was surfing, and he was parked at the nude beach. That happened twice. Then he slipped up and posted a comment on Facebook that put his location there .... Idk how to tell him I know. Idk if maybe it's my fault bc I know this is part of his life and I'm forcing him to sneak around. I don't think it's sexual at all, I don't feel cheated on. I think, I wouldn't know honestly, I've never been there. But my gut says this is not sexual, this is him doing his down time thing.
So I'm at a loss. One minute I think I should kick him out of the house. The next I think maybe I should ask to go with him. Then I'm like, maybe I should do nothing. Literally nothing about our lives have changed. Other than this we have a wonderful marriage and a baby boy. He's a great dad, he's a great husband, he provides, I never have to want a thing. I don't have any issue at all. But this leaves me so confused.
TL;DR: | husband grew up going to local nude beach. I'm not ready to go there. He has been going without me, secretly. I have no idea what to do with this info. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [I'm21/f] A guy [19f] likes my girlfriend [20/f] but she doesn't even like guys.
POST: My girlfriend and I have known each other for ten years. We're both ladies. We were best friends. Then best friends who liked each other, best friends who loves each other. Now we've been dating for four years. Love her to death and I know she loves me right back.
One of her friends from high school really likes her and is always sending her texts about how much he care about her and loves her and "is so lucky to have her as a friend" and all this stuff. He writes her songs and tells her what they mean to him/how they're about her and all this stuff. She isn't really welcoming about it, she usually just gives him one-word replies , but he just keeps on coming. He also blogs about the things he wants to do for her, surprise her with, etc.
Now, she doesn't like him. She doesn't even like guys. Even if I never existed, she would still not date men. Even if she did date men, he is about as attractive as a rusty shovel, is uneducated, etc. Would never happen.
Despite all of this, it still makes me really uncomfortable. I know that there's the "unwritten rule" about how I can't ask her to stop being friends with him, but I'm at my wit's end. She has had talks with him before telling him to back off (before any of this more serious stuff happened it was just like him constantly creeping everything) and they obviously haven't done any good.
We had another argument/talk about it a few days ago and apparently she had the "awkward talk" with him today.
I know it isn't going to change jack shit.
So....
TL;DR: | A gross dude likes my lesbian girlfriend, she doesn't like him like that, he doesn't get it, and I would like to chop his head off, but that's illegal and rude. |
SUBREDDIT: r/running
TITLE: Marathon Training for only 3 months? Maybe reach my goal?
POST: I just recently graduated and I was wanting to run a marathon on October 20th. I planned on starting my training around early June, but I took it to "long" too early and i ended up hurting my calf on the third day of training. I still ran with the calf hurting thinking it was just sore but a week later it got worse. I had to take time off up till today to have that calf heal. I was wondering if anyone with good marathon experience / running experience in general to tell me if my goal is still reachable considering my circumstances. My goal is to go sub 3 for my first marathon. I am by no means a new runner. I have ran all through out high school and 1 year of middle school. I am a conditioned "good" runner.
My pr for races are 16:29 for 5k, 4:38 mile, 10:14 2 mile. So I have that aerobic base already going into my marathon training. I ran practically a half marathon for a training "easy" long run during cross training last summer, to show my endurance to you guys, the pace I ran my 12 mile run in would of landed me a 1:24:33 half marathon (that is at an easy long run pace, not race pace for a long race). Input would be much appreciated, I'll get back to it asap, I now have to go to work!
TL;DR: | Had an injury, put off original marathon training by about a month, Still wondering if I can train and run a sub 3 marathon considering my past experience in running. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Have you been in a fight as an adult and how did it go?
POST: I have been in exactly one fight in my adult life but it went kind of cool looking back. A drunk Indian guy I was walking to a party with was being obnoxious and knocking on windows, which at one point resulted in us being crowded by a bunch of douche drunken white college kids and their tramp girlfriends.
These assholes proceeded to beat the shit out of the Indian dude, at which point my skinny, nerdy drunken, never-been-in-a-fight self was starting to get into Hulk Rage mode over the injustice of it. The asshole ringleader must have noticed that I was staring him down as the ass-whupping was winding down, because next he walked straight up on me, swaggering and shit. I shoved him hard one time in the chest and when he lunged at me, swung straight for his head with the beer bottle in my other hand. He saw it coming in and fended for himself with the arm, shattering the bottle. Then we grabbed onto eachother's clothes and rolled around on the ground a bit.
Their girls were screaming their heads off and his friends rushed in to pull him off the ground. Amazingly he just walked away, never even looking at me, while I think I was talking about how I was going to kill him or something while his friends were holding me off trying to get me to chill out.
TL;DR: | I am a skinny, pale, quiet geek who managed to back down ten drunken frat fucks using the power of *Geek Rage*. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My wife [25F] is pregnant. She wants to have sex. I'm [27M] just not attracted to her body right now and get weirded out.
POST: I was fine when she was first pregnant because there weren't any visible signs that she was pregnant, but now that she's showing, I just can't get into sex. The constant reminder that our kid is literally right there next to us gives me the heeby jeebies and is just about the least sexy thing in the world. I don't even know how she can enjoy it because it's all I can think about, and that's a total buzzkill.
She's upset with me, especially since she is so...ravenous now, because we haven't had relations in a month, but I just can't enjoy it anymore. If I'm honest, I just don't find the pregnant body attractive. I wish I could, but every time we try to get things started, nothing happens. I physically can't make myself want or enjoy this, so it's not even a matter of it all being in my head.
I can understand why she is hurt, especially since I always decline, but I've told her repeatedly that it has nothing to do with her. Is there a better way to explain this to her?
TL;DR: | I don't find pregnant bodies attractive, and I can't physically have sex with my wife. I know she is upset, but I feel like if I could explain it to her in a better way she'd understand. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [21f] have been in love with a guy [22m] for three years. I know it's unrequited but I am having trouble forgetting about him and moving on. Any tips on how to move on?
POST: Edit: Should the flair be relationships or personal issues? Not sure...
There's not really too much to say here. I have been in love with this guy for almost three years. He knows how I feel and does not feel the same (I think. I've never actually asked but I mean I can assume so).
Up until recently, I have always held out hope that one day he would just magically feel the same. He's pretty much my idea of the perfect guy incarnate. About five months ago, I decided it was time to try and move on for real. So, I intentionally avoided seeing him or talking to him. And I haven't seen or talked to him since, but it hasn't helped at all. Although, I do see some of his posts on various social media sites and I have considered unfriending/unfollowing but I know I would just look anyways (as bad as that is, I know).
I've gone on dates with other guys but that hasn't helped either and I always end up comparing them to him. I'm pretty much out of ideas now. I really just want to forget about him because I know nothing will ever come of it. Has anyone been in a similar situation and can give advice?
TL;DR: | I've been in love with someone for 3 years and have not been able to move on. Need advice as it's interfering with my life and getting annoying. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: annoyed at myself for feeling annoyed at my bff for being happy with her bf
POST: I (F21) know I should be happy for my best friend here (F21), and I think when I really think about it, of course I am. In the moment, though, when I hear her laughing with her new boyfriend (M25) (they've been dating nine months, but he's still just some charismatic, permanent fixture in our house I have to get used to), I just get annoyed.
He is always here, and he always gets to hang out with her.
And then I think, damn, this must have been how she felt when she heard my boyfriend (M23) and I laughing from across the room for all these years (I've been dating him for three years) and my annoyed feelings switch to guilt. Because we haven't hung out as much since I got my boyfriend because, well, I do prioritize weekends with my boyfriend.
Okay, so now you're all privy to the circular thoughts I have on a weekly basis. I know I'm not right to feel this way at all, but I just needed to vent this out.
Anyone else have conflicting feelings over their best friend's relationship?
TL;DR: | i am annoyed at my best friend for being happier with her boyfriend than with me (weird-sounding, I am straight), but then i realize these feelings are ridiculously hypocritical. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [F/20] urgent advice requested to deal with old partner [M/now35]!
POST: Where do I start...
OK so back when I was 15/16 I has sexual relations with my parents employee [29/30]. Parent was their boss. Mans wife was deployed in Afghanistan. We would sneak around my parent often and it was probably the best sex I ever had. He would frequently ask me "are you sure you're OK with this?" And I, of course, said yes every time. I wanted it and he loved it. Well that ended eventually when he moved away.
Now fast forward 5 years and I'm visiting parent in <insert state here>. Man knows I'm in town and has my phone number (because he still works for parent and databases have closest kin phone numbers). Man says we'll have to hang out while I'm out here. Man has baby now and wife is no longer in Afghanistan. I have AMAZING bf whom I believe I will marry. He is my best friend and I love him with all my heart.
I try to avoid man but every time he texts me I have these battling thoughts in my mind. It's like there are 2 sides of my conscious. One side says "oh, well the man is an old thing so it won't matter what happens here. It's like an old for-posterity's-sake thing and it doesn't even count if you bang him. It's just meaningless, feelingless sex." But the other (more moral) side that I always listen to is saying my life mantra over and over again: "once a cheater, always a cheater. I've been cheated on and would never ever put my SO through anything like that."
Now I know the obvious thing to do here is to avoid him but I guess I am asking for more advice on how to combat these "feelings" for older man. I need help on how to avoid the temptation of him and our old ways.
TL;DR: | back in town with old (older in age as well) sex partner, don't want to cheat on bf. Help! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [18f] am being a "whore?" Because my boyfriend [21m] isn't making me feel like a woman...
POST: Okay before I start, I want to say that I have never EVER EVER done anything like this in my life.
Alright so I met my boyfriend on plenty of fish 15 months ago. He was so sweet and Caring and we met and he moved in three days later. Around 9 months he changed alot, we started fighting. He would get mad over stupid things and when I snapped back at him he would blame the whole fight on me. Around our year he forgot to sign out of his hotmail and I found out he was back on plenty of fish. I was heartbroken I love this guy more then EVER. We made up then he told me he wasn't messaging girls but he was messaging a tranny. That right there blew my mind. A TRANNY!? Like really. So I got over it, and started seeing tranny porn in my history. I tried watching it, couldn't do it. So since then he will barely kiss me, I have to fight with him to have sex because when he wants it he gets it but when I do I get a no. He does work 11 12 hour days. I'm In between jobs and I got this email from this guy [25m] Long story short he wanted to pay me to do thing. And we really needed the money. I love my boyfriend with all my heart and I don't want to leave him but iv never wanted to get out of a relationship like this. But I have no where
To go with live with my aunt at the moment and when she leaves I'm stranded. I met this guy tonight and I have him a blow Job for twenty bucks. I came up stairs and jumped into the shower I scrubbed myself and made myself puke. I'm disgusted. But it was like five minutes. He also wants to buy my underwear for 20 bucks. I don't want to do this but I'm so far in debt I can't get out of my rutt until I pay this shit off. I'm lost. And I feel horrible. I'm stuck please don't judge me.. I know it's a bad idea. I think I should stop while I'm ahead... Help me reddit..
TL;DR: | I[18f] think my boyfriend[21m] lost interest in me and making me feel less womanly and I think it's what's pushing me into getting extra money for doing things for another guy[25m]. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How weird is it for my [F22] bf [M 24] to get facebook notifications about his ex?
POST: So me and my boyfriend have been together for a little more than a year. Generally everything is really good between us. We had a rocky start because of his ex (him not really being over her, trust issues, blah blah), but for the majority of our relationship things have been great.
Now, due to our history involving his ex, i never really like it when they talk. let me just say that they BARELY speak now as far as i know (and most of it is because of a mutual friend of theirs), and shes been in a different relationship for close to a year as well. every time something about her is brought up he reassures me how i shouldn't feel upset and how he loves me and they don't really communicate. however, she is a sore spot for me and we have gotten into several fights about it, so he knows that its still an issue.
now, i recently discovered that he gets notifications on facebook for when she posts things or updates her status. when you put someone on your "close friends" list, theres an option to get notifications about things they put up, and shes under that list so he gets notifications for her. i'm under that list as well, and so are other people, but is it weird that he still has her on it despite barely being friends now and the fact that i have had such an issue with her in the past?
i found out by accident, and didn't comment on it because i wasn't sure how to feel about it. it's just really strange to me that he would want to get notifications about her updates if they really are "barely friends" now.
would i be overreacting to get upset about this? i'm really not sure if its a big deal or not. not even because of risk of cheating, but more out of respect for my feelings on it? he knows i don't like them being friends, so wouldn't it be shitty of him to put her on a notifications list?
please give me advice reddit!
TL;DR: | found out that boyfriend gets notifications about his ex's facebook updates despite knowing i don't like them being friends, not sure how to react. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Why would she [22f] stop all contact with me [20m]
POST: This isn't dating related at all, I'm just really confused. I [20m] asked for some advice on a subreddit a few months ago and a girl [22] PM'd me on here, being super-nice, and offered to chat with me. I accepted and messaged her. Now, something felt off from the beginning. From the get-go she said she was bad at communicating with people...fair enough.
Within a week and even superbowl Sunday we were texting all day and I was pretty happy to have found someone to talk to. She'd even text me first on occasion, even when she was on break at work. Just simple stuff about what she was doing, how bored she was, etc, and we'd talk about where we live. It was pretty cool. And then we followed each other on Twitter and such and, overall, it felt like I made a solid online friend over the period of a few weeks.
Two weeks ago I sent her a text asking her how one of her exams went, she said she'll have to let me know when she gets the test back, and she was at a bar watching a game. So I just told her to have fun, she messaged me later excited because her team won. Cool.
And then I ask her how her weekend was two days later and don't get a response. Eh, no big deal, wait a week, send her a tweet, still get nothing. And she's definitely using both means of communication daily.
I have no idea why she, all of a sudden, started ignoring me. It's not like dating was even within the realm of possibility.
I've never had someone reach out and offer to communicate with me and then be so flaky about it, especially since we were both talking to each other because we both had similar problems. It pains me to see her tweet about problems and ignore the fact that, uh, hey, we were both helping each other out right?
So women, why would you drop all contact with someone and not have the decency to acknowledge them?
TL;DR: | Girl reaches out to me on here as a friend, then simply stops acknowledging my existence. We were only online friends...no dating prospect.* |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Tell me what laptop to get, please!
POST: I am getting to choose a new laptop for Christmas, procrastinate a lot, and now need your help. It is primarily for university schoolwork, and of course some media, but I am not a hardcore gamer. That said, I'm thinking of producing music and getting a steam account to occasionally play, so I would like a computer that could perform well in both categories, running quickly and quietly with good graphics. With all this stuff about spying and data collection going on, I would like a secure computer if that is possible. I don't know a whole lot about computers but I'd like something with at least 8 gigs of ram, perhaps i5 or i7, good graphics card, many pixels, and memory doesn't matter too much because I want to get a rugged external terabyte hard drive later. First off Windows or Mac? I strongly dislike Windows 8, but grew up on Windows so am unsure of the switch. Macs are nice, but seem like less bang for your buck. Then someone mentioned something to me about foreign computers but that sounds like a terrible idea, what is your opinion on that? What OS would they use? I have $1000 give or take but wish to spend no more than $1300 total, someone please just yell me what to get.
TL;DR: | I have <$1300 to spend on a quality music and gaming laptop that needs to last forever, tell me what I should do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Worried about my [17/f] best friend [18/m] and his potential drinking problem/toxic relationship.
POST: I have been best friends with this guy since seventh grade, and we have always relied on each other for support in our hardest times, even though we now go to different schools. About ten months ago, he got involved with a girl who has essentially made his life a dramatic, stressful whirlwind. They started dating after having sex, and from then on he has had to deal with her psycho ex-boyfriends, her getting smashed at parties and having to take care of her, and her wanting to stay together after graduation. He has started drinking a lot and smoking, and his relationships with many people have changed.
A few weeks ago he called me completely drunk and crying because he had broken up with her and he felt horrible about it. I talked to him until around 3:30 in the morning, and tried to comfort him, even though I was really scared and I didn't really know what to do. The next day when he went to go pick up his stuff from her house, they got back together, to which I expressed my disappointment. But last night, I was talking to him and he was really drunk again, and he told me he was afraid he was becoming an alcoholic, and that he was scared. I begged him to try and stop, but I know that it's useless because I can't be there every time he needs help. The worst part is that his girlfriend doesn't care (or maybe know) at all, and she has enough problems of her own to try and help him (which drives me absolutely crazy, but that's my personal opinion).
I'm at a loss. I don't know what to do to help him, other than to talk to him when he's struggling (which I am happy to do; he has helped me through my lowest points). And I know that this post makes him sound really bad, but he isn't. He's a good student, captain of his lacrosse team, and is a really loyal, and genuine person. I don't want him to lose all of that, and I know that he doesn't either. What should I do, as his best friend? I worry about him a lot and I want him to be okay.
TL;DR: | My best friend thinks he might have a drinking problem and is in a toxic relationship. I want to try and help but don't know how. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Now that I think about it, which is worse? The nude-scanners or getting groped by TSA?
POST: I have been reading all the articles and discussions on reddit and the internet recently about the new procedures at TSA. I am flying next week, through an airport that has these scanners and have been selected before. Up to now, I have been thinking "I'll just refuse the scanner, no chance I'll let them take pictures, I know technology, just because they say they delete them doesn't mean they do."
But now, I wondered, considering the fact that they will touch my groin, which is worse? Would it be better and faster (for the purposes of this, let's leave the cancer out of this and just talk about the basic immediate happenings) just to let them take nude pictures of me and get out of there?
TL;DR: | So which is worse, getting physically molested or having nude pictures taken of you? Because before now I thought I knew. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21M] trying to reignite the flame.
POST: I was great friends with this girl I knew from highschool for my whole time there and the summer after. 3 of those 4 years I was dating someone. We fooled around from time to time and I was wrong for cheating (I realize I was a young little dumbass brat haha) on my current gf with her but I loved it more than the gf. She is beyond gorgeous, her mindset is perfect, she makes me laugh and I've honestly never been more myself then with her. We went seperate ways in college and right before we left she told me she had loved me for 3 years. I was an idiot not to see it so clearly. It's just built up and now I either feel like its too late (juniors in college) or shes playing hard to get. I hardly get responses from her over text but when i do she always wants to hang out.... butttt never actually does. <<<----Confused Male. Help.
TL;DR: | Girl claims "Loved me for 3 years" while I was dating someone. Said Ex is no longer in the picture. Want to re-fule the spark in her playing hard to get. How? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23F] with mycoworker [33M] married father of 3, how to evade his attentions?
POST: Hello all of you,
Long time lurker etc, here is my issue: i started a PhD in engineering a year ago, and am in an all male laboratory with age ranges from 23 (me) to 35 ish. Therefore everyone is great friends with the others and all goes well. Or does it?
It doesn't. Jay is 33, married and father of 3 kids, and he and I are the only smokers, therefore we take our breaks together. **In the past few weeks** I have felt that he is being very "affectionate", generally standing too close to me and trying to touch me whenever he can get away with it, very innocently.
For instance he'll ask for my lighters and brush my fingers with his, he is also encroaching in my personal space: he inches forward, i inch back, and we can literally move meters away from the original spot where we stood like that).
Our lab has a professional IM program and he often starts conversations which i do my best to cut short, but he does that more and more often. He uses pet names (the kind that can pass as casual such as "cocotte" - we're french), etc.
I have a boyfriend (all my colleagues know that) and I have told him about it, and he was concerned and asked me to be careful, but did not really know **how to de-escalate what is apparently starting to escalate**.
Which is why I come here for advice: how can i de-escalate in a way that won't make Jay wounded in his pride (I'm worried he'd start a rumor on how I tried to sleep with him or smth out of spite and ruin my professional life, **I still have 2 years of PhD to complete**) ?
NB: names were obviously changed
TL;DR: | Married coworker with kids' behavior is becoming more and more affective and I need advice on how to de escalate the situation without threatening my job life |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 F] with my boyfriend [38 M] of 1yr 1 mo, sex once/twice month
POST: Alright. Never posted on Reddit before, but I'm desperate for some advice!
I've been dating my current bf for a year and a month. Like any relationship, it started hot and heavy but it's cooled down.
However, things started getting stale 5 months into the relationship.
He just switched careers, and he works mostly at home. This has reduced his stress immensely. I also haven't changed in appearance that much (lost a few lbs), and our relationship is pretty great otherwise.
I guess what's most frustrating is that we don't kiss very often or have sex (twice a month at most). He talks about getting himself off every day and which girls he'd want to have sex with.
I've reluctantly expressed to him that I want to feel more affection in the relationship. But every time I lean in for a kiss or attempt to initiate things, I get laughed at.
I've never had this issue in a relationship, and I get hit on pretty often. It's really affecting my self-confidence, and it's making me question how long I can stick it out.
Can someone please tell me what I'm doing wrong? I've been in one other relationship, but I've dated other guys.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend is only having sex with me 2x a month. What should I do if I've already talked to him about it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Best Friend/Crush Says She is Attracted to Me...Then Says She Isn't.
POST: A few weeks ago me [M20] and my best friend/girl I have a crush on [F 19] got drunk at a party and admitted we were attracted to each other. But she said that she wasn't ready for a relationship (she just recently broke up with a physically abusive boyfriend), so I just decided to act like nothing happened, and stay her friend until she decided she was ready.
In the weeks that followed, I would see her flirt with other guys right in front of me, so after a while, I talked to her about it. Apparently she was so drunk when we said we were attracted to each other that she had no memory of it ever happening. I asked her if it was still true, though, that she was attracted to me. She said that she only said what she did because she was drunk. However, she was just as drunk when she told me this. So naturally she has no recollection of this conversation happening either. And the things she said to me when she was telling me that she did like me were things that did not seem like spur-of-the-moment comments, but more like things she had been thinking for a while.
Oh and another note: The time we admitted having an attraction to each other was not the first time we had gotten "flirty" with each other while drunk.
TL;DR: | Female friend/crush gets drunk twice. One time she says she has a crush on me, the other time she says she doesn't. She has no memory of either event. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Best way to quit my job?
POST: Tomorrow I'm quitting my job - my boss is basically the devil. In three months of working for her she's broken one of my fingers, "spotted" me while she was completely hammered (at 9am) and I was on a 12ft ladder, called out of work multiple times to teach a dance class yet given me three warnings for calling out of work for reasons she said "were not good enough" (I had doctor's notes), made me carry and assemble several heavy displays while I was visibly sick and she sat on her butt, called me into work at 6am on multiple Saturday mornings without more than a half hour notice, and in general has made my life a living hell.
So I'm done.
I was going to give a week's notice but I'm having my doubts.
What should I do?
TL;DR: | My she-devil boss has made my life hell and I'm quitting tomorrow, looking for suggestions as to how. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Starting over! Again.
POST: I'm a 23 year old recently single mother of a 10 month old.
I'd been unemployed for the past 8 months since he made enough to support us so I could be a stay at home mom.
Now I'm working two jobs, I'm about to be pulling in around $1,200.00 a month. My only bills are car insurance and my cell, which is $180.00 a month. Living for free with my mom, I get WIC and foodstamps.
He left me in about $3,000.00 worth of various debts and old bills, what do I do now?
I've heard about debt consolidation loans but my credit is terrible. (516, last I checked)
Is there anything I can do besides chip away at my debts one at a time?
Is there anything in particular I can do to start rebuilding my credit?
TL;DR: | Starting over again, pulling in $1,200.00 monthly, $180.00 in monthly bills, $3,000.00 in debt, 516 credit score, what do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (17M) considering asking out a girl I like (17F) but I need some advice.
POST: I am somewhat a nervous and socially awkward person, which results in me saying some silly things around her even though I am trying to make my self sound cool and confident.
I have liked her for a while now, we are both intelligent and in the same classes at school. I wouldn't say we are friends and we have different interests and tastes in music, but I find her really attractive and like being around her, any advice?
Also I would say this is the first time I have felt this way about someone and my friends all think I like her even though I have not told them.
TL;DR: | I have liked a girl for a long time, I am somewhat socially awkward and am considering asking her out, I need help, please note I am new to Reddit. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Am I [29/m] suffering from abandonment issues or being reasonable about leaving because of new close other male friends?
POST: I have experienced a very distressing pattern in my past relationships, including my previous marriage and my current marriage.
The relationships usually start off well with me being able to keep any minor anxiety problems I have in check. I try to be open with my partners and we get along quite well for maybe a year at most.
The pattern I've noticed is after the honeymoon phase is over, quite frankly the sex in the relationship dies down a lot, which I think is somewhat normal. This has occurred in all 3 of my past relationships and usually day to day living stress is given as the explanation. In my last marriage I pushed the issue too hard and I try to avoid doing so in my current marriage because of it. I can understand how stress can affect people and am more than willing to wait, sex isn't everything in a relationship after all.
However, it seems at some point there after I start to notice my previous significant other developing new strong (and sometimes flirty) friendships with other men. This triggers my abandonment issues big time. I start questioning my trust in the relationship. I also focus obsessively on what the other men have that I don't and how I have to improve in order to keep my SO. I get to the point where I just think it's a matter of time before she leaves and whether or not I should end it before it gets there. Is this normal? Am I even being rational about this? Should I leave my current marriage because I feel my wife has lost her attraction to me?
TL;DR: | sex slows down, wife/gf appears attracted to other men (doesn't admit to it), frequently chats with them, what should I do? This has happened to me 3 times now. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I (23m) feel like there is no future in sight due to complications between me and my gf (25f)
POST: Weve been going out for just about 2 years now. Shes a country girl, im a city guy. I live in a small city and she lives 40 mins out of town at her family farm. We both work most of the week. Shes often gotta be home everynight to keep her fire stoked while I gotta be at home just cause work is near by.
We both hate our jobs and hate what they are doing to our relationship. Its basically stressing us both out and getting between us because we can only see eachother like 2 days a week.
I know if we put our money together we can afford an appartment and have a healthy amount of money asside that. But shes stuck living at the farm because of family pressures.
Ive talked to her about this, weve tried brainstorming on how we can make this work, and we both dont really see much of a future ahead unless she was willing to ditch her family and get an appartment with me. And im not controlling so im trying to be as patient as possible but im gradually losing grip. Our relationship is starting to feel more and more dead. I love her and she loves me its a very strong love. But its just barely working. Shes also very close to quitting her job, shes on edge so then she will be unemployed. It feel like she is falling through the cracks. Weve both condluded we are both depressed (the cold weather doesnt help) and we feel hopeless towards the future...
We are both going through the same emotions basically. Weve been going through this same pattern over the past few months and I feel like we arent going anywhere... Do you guys/gals have any suggestions on what I/we can do?
I really dont want the bullshit of society to get between us and ruin what we have and we both feel like its happening :(. The sad thing is we have something special between us. Its just we arent going anywhere.
TL;DR: | We have a good relationship but work and her homelife is getting between us and I want to eventually get a place with her but I cant see it happening.... atleast anytime soon. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [18/m] Asked out best friend [17/f] of 8 years. Advice to not screw this up?
POST: I've been friends with this girl since grade school, we haven't talked much since she graduated early, however, she currently has no boyfriend and she agreed to go to the senior prom with me. The night was going more than fantastic and i noticed subtle signs that led me to think she likes me, which I really hope I didn't read incorrectly. She constantly: bumped me with her hips, let me dance with her (decently provocatively), and near the end of the night she locked arms with me.
I've liked this girl for so long and I have this huge crush on her. I asked her out when i dropped her off (She seemed to be waiting before exiting the car, I don't know i could have been imagining it but I'm pretty sure I wasn't) and she seemed pretty happy but I can't tell if that's just because she was caught off guard. We went out once in ninth grade but she broke up with me to stay friends after just a couple of days. I've changed a lot since then and I'm ready to commit to a relationship with her.
However, I don't want to somehow screw this up. Any advice on how to not screw up this first date? (things to and not to do kind of thing) This really means a lot to me and any help at all will be appreciated beyond belief.
TL;DR: | Friend of 8 years seemed to show signs of interest, I asked her out and she said: Yes, we can try and see where we go from there. Advice on the situation? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: m[26] f[31] my girlfriend told me that she was raped at young age
POST: Hi, I've been dating this girl for 3 months. We've been doing great together as we talk a lot about of what we feel and think. I've noticed that she is a shy and introvert girl and despite she is really attractive she was really conscious about her body (she has a couple of extra kg but I actually like her like she is).
She always told me that I make her happy and that her life was always horrible and she fears that nobody will ever love her. This weekend I asked why she thought that, I knew she had 2 long relationships which ended badly so it didn't seemed that bad. Then she dropped a really sad story, I told her to not tell me if it was something that hurt her but she kept telling me ( despite I noticed she got nervous when she was about to finally tell me what happened, and subtly changing the subject). It seems that she was raped when she was 12 by a 30 years old friend of her mom's boyfriend. She told me that she always felt horrible after that and even guilty sometimes.
She told me that she is ok now and really kept herself together when telling me the story, like it didn't affect her, but I know that she ocassionally gets really depressed, and after telling me she started saying how she fears she will be always alone and broke into tears. So my guess is that things aren't really "ok" right now
Is needless to say that I felt a lot of pain, anger and sadness while she told me the story I felt like I wanted to kill that guy.
My question is, have you gone through something similar? how can I help her to feel better and feel that she can be happy? do you think that I should persuade her to start therapy?
TL;DR: | my girlfriend was raped when she was 12 yo by a 30 yo man, I wish to help her to feel better and be happier. Also any advice about this situation is welcome |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My friend [22 M] who just got back from deployment broke down on me [22 M] and my friend.
POST: My friend who just got back from deployment broke down and started crying on a drive home with my friend and I. He was drunk at the time and was telling us how he was going to kick X's ass for disrespecting him and going on a rant. Soon after he began telling us how he had killed people in Afghanistan and how he hoped my friend and I would also not have to deal with the same guilt he is currently dealing with.
My friend is currently at a crossroads where he doesn't know what to do with his life. He is currently a reservist but is lacking foresight with what he can do with his future. Ever since he's been back from deployment he hasn't gotten a job or done much it would seem. He also has just been ever so SLIGHTLY off.
After he had confided with my friend and I we both got out of the car and gave him a hug. I told him that he needs to talk to a therapist or anything to try and get this weight off his shoulders so he can move on. He told me it wouldn't do anything and the VA was already backed up enough as it is. After I told him if there's anything I could do or he if he ever needed to talk to know I'd be there.
So my question: is there anything else I can do at this time? I know he's going through a rough patch and I honestly have no idea what to do for him. He's worried me after coming out to us in this manner. I'd really like to know if there's ANYTHING I can do for him and what his options could be.
Thank you
TL;DR: | friend recently got back from Afghanistan and broke down and cried to my friend and I about killing people. What can I do to help him other than talk to him/advise him to seek therapy. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by transporting used paint cans in my car (with photo proof!)
POST: TIFU Reddit, I fucked up hard.
To understand the extent of my fuckup, some relevant backstory is needed. A couple months ago, my car died. I have always wanted a Jeep Wrangler, and I finally took the plunge and bought myself one. She is beautiful. I absolutely love her.
Today, I decided to be a nice and helpful girlfriend. I have lots of leftover paint from painting my house and decided to take a couple cans over to my boyfriend's house and paint some rooms. We are trying to get his house listed for sale and I figured this would increase the value of the house. I took all the cans and loaded them up carefully in the back of my Jeep. They were all closed (or so I thought).
I drove over to my boyfriends house. For those of you that are unfamiliar, driving a Jeep is like driving a tank. It's a little bit of a bumpy ride. I hopped out and walked around back to unload the paint cans and as soon as I opened the door, paint poured out of the back hatch and went everywhere. One of the cans had tipped over in transport, and apparently was not closed like I thought it was.
It took a few hours and cutting the carpet out of the back of the car to get it all out. Bonus picture of the damage at the bottom of the post!
TL;DR: | Do not transport used paint cans in your car unless you want to spend several hours of your life cleaning paint and replacing your carpet. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm a guy and I have a girl best friend. I'm scared I might be making problems with her relationship with her bf.
POST: So after my long term relationship (5 years) fell apart I had pretty much no friends so I started hanging out with my coworker who I have a lot in common with. We always have a blast when we hang out together. The problem is that she some feelings for me. Her words were 80% platonic and 20% crush. I've hung out with her and her bf before too and it was cool, but I guess he later told her that he was surprised how different, mostly more talkative, she was around me. So I'm starting to feel like a home-wrecker here... I would never do anything with a girl that has a bf but even so I feel like I'm doing something wrong. I almost feel guilty spending time with her. I'm realllllly socially awkward and I have a hard time having decent conversations with people, let alone making new friends. I don't want to lose, essentially, my only real friend. What do I do?
TL;DR: | My best friend has a small crush on me. She has a bf. I don't want to make trouble but I don't want to lose my friend. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (28/M) ex (27/F) from 5 years ago texted me out of the blue and asked me out to coffee. What should I do?
POST: We dated from 2005 to 2009, we even got engaged in early 2009 but I broke it off as I felt we were growing apart and didn't want the same things. It ended up being a pretty amicable breakup, never really got ugly. We both appreciated the time we had together and moved on.
We've both had serious relationships since then, I now live 500 miles away from where we dated but am thinking about moving back (it is my hometown) - though I am not sure if she knows that. Anyway, today she texted me and asked me out to coffee next time I come home (in about 2 weeks). She already knows I'm coming up since we stayed fb friends, so she also presumably knows I am recently single. We haven't spoken in about 3 years so this is kind of out of nowhere for me.
I have no feelings for her and have no interest in getting back together with her despite the fact I am recently single and am arguably on the rebound, I just know we don't work together. Is it worth going? I have nothing to lose, but I am not sure what the benefits would be? I also don't want to be an asshole by blowing her off.
TL;DR: | Read the title. Not sure if it is worth it, but don't want to be an asshole, what should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Not sure if this is the right subreddit, but I need dating advice for my mother...
POST: Hi everyone. My mother is a beautiful woman, 52 years young, who deserves a loving relationship in her life. After a divorce over a decade ago, a battle with cancer, and an abusive on and off again relationship for the past six years, there needs to be a change.
My mom's ex is extremely verbally and emotionally abusive to both her and me; despite many attempts, he will not leave her alone. She keeps going back to him because of his (seemingly) nice aspects. However, it has gotten much worse recently, and I don't know how much more her or I can take of it.
Does anyone have any advice on how she can break it off permanently with this guy? What has been the best method for those who have moved on and met other people? She deserves an amazing guy, and I can't see her go through this anymore.
TL;DR: | Mom is stuck in an emotionally abusive relationship and cannot find the means to leave; how can she move on and seek a healthy, rewarding relationship? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Is my depression ruining my [19F] and SO [19M] relationship of 2 years, what can I do to save it?
POST: Before dating my current SO of two years, I had gotten out of a 3 year abusive relationship. (I had been depressed before that relationship, but that relationship worsened it and has caused more triggers for me and anxiety).
When I started dating my current SO things were more than ideal, I really considered (and still consider) him to be my soulmate (something I'd never thought about anyone else before). We could talk about anything for hours and he was especially calm, easygoing, and super smiley, always happy.
9 months into our relationship I went off to college so we went LDR. My depression worsened being away from him, being stressed by school, and not making friends. I took out a lot of anger on him (via text/phone calls) and he was really effected by it. But when we did see each other things were good/great.
When I came home in May of 2014, I was having a lot of anxiety attacks and had a lot of hostility (transitioning back in to my ALSO abusive household). I recognized this problem early and made extreme efforts to be nicer and try and be loving.
My depression and hostility pushed on to my used-to-be happy go lucky boyfriend and now with two years under our belt (and at the same college this year) in the last 6 months he has become hostile and unappreciative.
He doesn't seem happy when we see each other, doesn't smile or kiss me when we first see each other. And often the first words he says to me are in a yelling/anger tone.
If I ask him about classes he freaks out and yells, if I ask him a general question or make a general statement he gets angry and says I'm questioning him.
He's also completely judgmental and unaccepting of my depression now. He's never really understood it but when we first started dating he was at least supportive but now he just calls me a cry baby and doesn't acknowledge me when I'm upset and tells me I need to learn how to handle myself.
Things are falling apart and all because of my depression, can this be saved? What do we do?
TL;DR: | A really good relationship went sour as my depression worsened. I was hostile and aggressive and now that I've fixed myself he is hostile and yells at me constantly and can't handle my depression anymore. Is this savable? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How to mend a broken heart in 43 days?
POST: x-post r/BreakUps
Met an amazing guy while volunteering in Asia last January 2011. I'm a 22 y/o American and he is a 21 y/o Aussie. After leaving Asia, we both went to our respective countries but kept in touch and grew so close together and eventually fell in love. I graduated in May and came here (Melbourne AUS) for an internship but more to be with him.
I am one of those girls that will do anything for the people I care about - friends, family, boyfriend. I love people carefully, but when I do, I love them unconditionally. He is one of those guys that every girl wants to date but no one believes exists. Not a jealous bone in his body, incapable of being mean or selfish, and the most gentle and loving soul you will encounter.
He just broke up with me meh 10 hours ago. He was meant to come home (USA) with me in December for Christmas to meet my family. When I asked him about it again just two days ago, he really freaked at the thought of meeting my family (though I lived with his for 2 months), thought it was too much to invest emotionally and decided that he can't 'give me what I deserve'. So yep, its over and I am now residing in a country where the number of people I know I can count on half of one hand.
Reddit, I'm searching for 43 ways to mend my broken heart over the next 43 days - until I go home (alone) for Christmas and am back with my family and closest friends. What would you do? What do you suggest? I have never felt so alone or scared in my life, and it doesn't help being away from everyone I know. I just want each day to have a purpose, to help me get through the next 6 weeks without him.
Anything, Reddit. Really, anything helps.
TL;DR: | Moved to Australia in May to be with my Aussie boyfriend, and he broke up with me once plans were being made for him to come home (USA) with me to meet my family. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (M19) girlfriend (19) "talked dirty" with a guy who she was working with
POST: So my girlfriend and I are at university together and she went off for a week in March for some work experience at a company.
This morning she left her phone open on her Twitter direct messages while she went for a shower and I noticed messages between her and the person who gave her work experience about how'd like her to go back again, and there would be plenty of "extra-curricular activities" like last time. She responded positively with a wink emoji and the conversation continued. There was nothing explicit, literally just teasing.
I questioned her about it (obviously apologising for "snooping" on her messages) and she said that they didn't do anything, it was just some verbal stuff (he asked her about her qualities, she replied "I'm good with my mouth"). Apparently he started it but she reciprocated the chat because she thought she'd get a job out of it.
She's apologised and been in tears and swears that it went no further than that but I'm finding it hard to trust her, and am really hating the fact that she spoke like that to someone while we were together.
I feel sick about it all and don't know what to do.
TL;DR: | My girlfriend talked dirty to a potential employer to get a job, swears it went no further; I'm really hurt by it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [27M] not sure how to tell acquaintance [28M] I'm not interested in his financial services.
POST: Here's a break from the normal romantic relationship issues:
I am a relatively new attorney. I have been practicing for a while, and while I am absolutely in love with my job, I hate networking. I have no problems about talking with other attorneys. I've met some fantastic mentors over a beer at conferences and other events. But I find it very hard to relate to others who are not attorneys.
Specifically, I got a call from an acquaintance who is a financial planner, asking if we could meet up for lunch some time. My bullshit detector went off -- I have not spoken to him for several months, aside from passing along a name of a friend who opened her own law practice and does a lot of trusts/wills work.
I have had only four interactions with this guy over the last 4 years. The last one was when he invited me to his office while I was in the area for coffee, and to catch up. After being ushered into a conference room, he showed up with another co-worker of his and the first words out of his mouth were, "So how can we help you today?"
In my mind, I was pissed. I felt invited under false pretenses. I don't like being hoodwinked like that -- being invited for a friendly chat and that chat being abruptly changed to an attempted sell
I don't really want to go to lunch with him. I know that if I do, he's going to try to pitch me his financial services, which I do not need, and do not want. My fiance and I are planning to move across the country when she finishes law school, so even then, his services really wouldn't be needed.
What is the best way to cordially nip this in the bud? I have already said I would meet with him next week for lunch under pressure but I really don't want to, and honestly can't afford to take the time away from work.
TL;DR: | Financial services guy I've met 4 times wants to sell me services, I don't want them. Need a kind, diplomatic way to either turn down lunch (ideally) or decline his services. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Had the talk with the guy (26m) I've (23f) been seeing for the last few months and I'm confused by his response...
POST: I've been seeing this guy since sometime in December. We've been hanging out 4-5 days a week with me spending the night at his place 2-4x a week. I finally decided to nut up and ask about future plans and if he'd be interested in being in a relationship with me.
He said he didn't think this was the right time for him and can't see it really changing. He couldn't invest himself 100% and that it would be unfair for me (understandable). He said he likes me and he likes spending time with me and having me over, but wants to keep himself open (red flag). When I asked him to clarify, he said he didn't know. I asked if he was looking for someone else and be said no.
I really enjoy the time that I spend with him and he's so much fun. But I'm not sure how long I can be happy in a fwb relationship even if it is exclusive.
Should I prematurely end it and look for someone who wants the same thing I do? Right now I'm more inclined to enjoy what I have until it goes sour (I really like the sex). But, I'm scared that if I stick around, it'll be for a futile hope that he'll change his mind. I don't want to be that desperate pathetic girl.
TL;DR: | Guy I'm seeing doesn't want a relationship with me, but wants to stay fwb. Not sure if I should end it now and look for greener pastures or graze until the grass is gone. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Secure Credit Cards and Secure Loans
POST: Hi All,
Short-Time lurker here with a question on secure credit cards or loans.
I am 26 years old, I currently have a 747 credit score, I have a few credit cards of which I pay on time every single month, 1 with a 20k limit, another with a 10k limit, and another with a 5k limit (I plan on paying off the 5k credit card ASAP because the APR is too high, so i will close it or request a lower apr). I also have a car loan that I'm successfully paying off on time every single month. I'm about 1/3 of the way through the loan.
This evening I recently leaned about secure credit cards and secure loans and how these things boost your credit score. Does it make any sense at all for me to to take out a secure loan or credit card with the expectation of boosting my credit score by a couple extra points?
TL;DR: | Looking for ways to get my credit score higher than it already is and considering the idea of taking out a secure loan or secure credit card |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Females of reddit, I am horrible at analyzing what girls say, so you could you please help me out here?
POST: So there's a girl. We dated for about 10 months last year. Then I broke up with her. I've regretted it ever since, horribly. I was trying to work up the nerve to talk to her again and she got a boyfriend and I spiraled into depression, but that's a different story.
Basically, we've been talking a lot again lately. The other day, she asked me if I still had feelings for her, and I answered her honestly saying yes I do, but I'm not trying to win her back over her boyfriend or anything. Today, I asked her the same question, and she said (and I quote):
honestly i dont think i do. i mean i wish things couldve worked out but ive been trying to convince myself to move on.
Here's my mindset right now: When she asked me if I had feelings with her, I assumed she had some kind of feelings for me, because I know if I was in a similar situation I wouldn't ask that question unless I did. But her response obviously contradicts that. But she said "I dont think I do" and that just makes me wonder if she's being honest or just doesn't want to tell me. Then the whole "i wish things couldve worked out but ive been trying to convince myself to move on" bit makes me think a little too.
Women, please help me out here.
TL;DR: | ex asked if i had feelings for her, i said yes. i asked same question, she said "i dont think so" |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 F] with my crush/hook-up [22 M] - can I apply to his place of work or is that super-creepy?
POST: Hooked up with this guy a few times at college, we admitted we liked each other, but it couldn't go anywhere because college ended before it could get halfway serious. We're still in touch but with no plans to meet or anything. I think it would be weird if I suggested it. Our hometowns aren't close.
So, he's got a job contract next year with a specific company. I want to go into the same field as him, and I think if I work hard this year I would have a good chance of getting in there. It's one of the very best firms in the industry, but they don't take on many trainees a year. So he would definitely see me there.
My question is - how creepy would this be? I'd be lying if I said I wasn't extra interested in applying there because of him, and because it would be great if we were in the same town etc. But also, it is my career and I had thought about applying before I'd even met him.
TL;DR: | Met a guy at college but didn't have time to develop it, next year he's working at a company I want to work for, can I apply there or will he know I partially did it to get in his pants? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [27 M] with the girl I've been dating [24 F] for about four months had a Define The Relationship tonight, we are now friends. This keeps happening.
POST: Girl and I have been dating since December, or at least we have been going on dates, apparently there can be a significant difference.
Tonight we got together and made molten chocolate cake with dulce de leche, and icecream. It was successful and delicious. While we were eating, I brought up something she had said and asked if she could explain. She got very embarrassed and said that she really enjoyed doing things together, but didn't think a romantic relationship would work.
I asked why, and she gave too reasons. 1) She wasn't sure she was ready. Fair enough. 2) She didn't think we had compatible goals/lifestyles. She is very, in her words perhaps too, focused on school and practical things. If it isn't for a class, she doesn't do it. I on the other hand, pay as much attention to school and work as required for me to do all of the many frivolous things I enjoy doing. Also fair enough I suppose.
Once we'd mulled that over though, she said how much she enjoyed spending time with me and how I've been helping break her out of school tunnel-vision. She wants to be friends.
This is the aggravating part. This is how my relationships keep ending. Meet a girl, date for a while, and then become friends. It's definitely not all bad, it's where most of my friends come from, and I'm grateful for them. However, I want a romantic relationship. I want to get married damn it!
So this is my rant/question. How to find and date a girl for a serious romantic relationship, and not a friendship. Is there something I should be looking for or doing differently?
TL;DR: | Once again, I am friends with a girl I was dating. This keeps happening. How do I find/date/approach/? girls for romantic relationships rather than friendship? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU and earned the nickname 'The TCALL Kid'
POST: This happened a long time ago, but apparently that's ok, right?
In the late eighties I was working as a computer operator for a public utility company where they used a Honeywell Bull DPS-something mainframe which ran an operating system called GCOS. In the machine room there was a system terminal with special privileges which we used for kicking off backups and so on. We got word that a user terminal was 'stuck' and needed to be disconnected. Not something I'd had to do before but hey, how hard can it be? Apparently there's a command ('TCALL') for doing just that. So I type in TCALL and press enter, thinking it will show me the options for specifying which terminal etc. In fact, it disconnected every single terminal from the system, and it took two days to get them all connected again. Cost was estimated in the hundreds of thousands. And that's how I earned the nickname 'The TCALL Kid' and no respect from any of my coworkers.
From the [GCOS manual](
*TCALL - A GCOS system command entered at system console by operator to terminate interactive processing by users currently on system.
TL;DR: | young, inexperienced computer operator caused one of those times when you're on the phone to your utility company and they say "oh, the computer's gone down, can you call back" |
Subsets and Splits
No saved queries yet
Save your SQL queries to embed, download, and access them later. Queries will appear here once saved.