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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [19F] just had my crush [20M] tell me we should stop seeing each other. I'm really lost.
POST: Ok, starting off from the beginning. So basically I [19F] broke up with my boyfriend of several years to pursue things with my crush [20M]. I could tell I liked him more than a friend, and I wanted to see where it would go since my current relationship seemed to be failing. We hung out for maybe 3 months until we both had to go home for the summer. We both agreed to stay in touch and wait to see each other after the summer. We talked about our situation and we weren't officially boyfriend/girlfriend, but we both agreed we were strongly interested in one another.
So we agreed to try and deal with the distance and for the most part it was fine. A few little things came up, but they were never huge arguments, just normal things a long distance couple deals with. Anyway, he went on vacation for a while where we had little to no contact. I was nervous things would change during this time, but he assured me everything would be ok.
Fast forward to now, he recently got back and my worry has become a reality. He told me we should not continue to see each other because he did not like dealing with the distance and the issues that come with it. I am completely crushed and do not know what to do. I fell really hard for him, and I still want to try and make things work.
In a few months, we will see each other again and I'm not sure what to do. He said we could stay friends, but I can't help but want something more. Is it worth it to keep trying?
TL;DR: | Broke off long relationship for new crush who just recently decided we should no continue seeing each other. Is it worth it to keep trying? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: How to get away with detention?
POST: Okay, so here's the deal.
I got a detention for being disrespectful to a teacher during afterschool hours. Basically, they email the notice to my parent's email address. I have to serve tomorrow. I have baseball practice so I have an excuse for getting out of school late, i basically just call my parents when im ready to be picked up, and they don't question me much. I don't know the password to the email address... what should I do? I deleted the email when I went on my mom's phone, but it still shows it in the trashbox. And i didnt have much time to see how to get rid of that because I was being sneaky about it. I could just deal with the detention/punishment like I have been for the majority of my school years. But this time is different because my parents said if I dont get anymore detentions for the rest of this year that they would buy me a gaming computer.
TL;DR: | How can I get away with getting a detention without my parents knowing -- my parents having seen the email notice yet. If I get away with this I can possibly get a new gaming computer. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How is elimination of welfare supposed to help the US?
POST: I often hear that we should completely eliminate welfare benefits like food stamps and Medicaid for those of working age. (At least I hope they just mean working age. ) Say it ends tomorrow. How would that fix anything? All those people should just work, right? Except there aren't enough jobs to go around as it is. Many people just plain aren't qualified for the jobs that are offered. A person making minimum wage can barely afford to live. So what do we do? Job training for the people you don't want to give welfare to? That costs money. Education for everyone? That costs money. Pass a law that says to hire these people first? Well, shit, that'd just piss people off. Plus, people have to eat and have electricity while they are doing these things. So, let's say then, that'd welfare ended and everyone was trained or educated... wouldn't we then just have even more highly skilled and educated people unemployed or working fast food? What's the end game here?
TL;DR: | I just don't understand how taking away welfare will actually make things better. It doesn't make sense to me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (23/F) do not want to be with my bf (25) anymore
POST: My bf and I have been together for 7 years, living together for about 4. We have two children together, a daughter (5) and a son (3). Lately, our relationship has not been stable and we have been on and off for the last 9 months. I guess somewhere along the way I fell out of love with him.
I broke up with him before Christmas and I told him I didn't love him anymore. He kind of went crazy and told me that he would do anything to have me back. So I decided to give him one more chance. I thought that something in me would change and I would love him again. Or a flame would be rekindled. But ever since we got back together I have not been happy. We got into another argument yesterday and I moved out of the house we lived in together. He called me and wants me to come back, but I don't want to go back to him anymore. He starts to cry and get emotional and that's when I cave in and go back. He did that last night and I said I would (which I know I shouldn't have) but I felt so horrible. I didn't want to see him that way.
So I guess my question is how can I stay strong and not go back, even though he starts to cry and beg for me to stay?
TL;DR: | I want to break up with my bf of seven years. Need advice on how to stay strong when he gets emotional and begs for me to come back. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Young not so love
POST: Me (18f) and my bf (18m) have been together for going on six months now and up until about a month ago everything was wonderful, he kept me on my toes. However, throughout most of the relationship he has had problems regarding a job, he has no intentions of going to school and he's beyond lazy and not driven at all and that's such a turn off for me and I'm coming to terms with it finally. He talks of being with me forever and asking me to marry him one day and he's absolutely in love with me but I can't see myself staying with someone who doesn't want better for them self. He's a push over and moody and pretty much a girl when it comes to our relationship. I'm not attracted to him anymore. Almost coincidentally, I have recently met another guy (19m) through work and he's the exact opposite. He has a real job and ambition and everything I can't seem to find in my current bf. He's cute and funny and sweet and we've been hanging out after work, he's made it very clear that he is developing feelings for me. I haven't done anything with this guy out of respect for my boyfriend but the more we're together the more I want to attack him lol. What do I do? What do I say? I've weighed my options and I'm not leaving my bf for this guy, I'm leaving my bf because of all the reasons I previously mentioned. But another worry is, my boyfriend has been beyond sweet to me and caring and done whatever I wanted and I love and hate that about him. What if I leave him and never find another who cares for me that much? Should i even leave him? I know this all seems like stupid teen drama but I've been struggling with it for some time now, and this new guy is just making me think even more about everything.
TL;DR: | been with a guy forever, having doubts about where it's going, falling out of love with him and into love with another guy who gives me a rush. What do I do, how should I go about this? Help!! |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, your thoughts and perspectives on this please.
POST: 1.) Last year my friend was in a terrible car accident due to driving drunk (DON'T DO THIS, AND WEAR YOUR FREAKING SEATBELT ALWAYS). He is still recovering, slowly gaining back speech and motor skills. I knew alcohol was involved but found out that he had been served underage at a bar by a friend of his, who then allowed him to leave and drive home intoxicated.
How am to feel about this? Should the law have been brought in? Is it my place to have done anything? Could/should anything have been done? Is their guilt sufficient? Should they even be/feel fully or partially guilty?
2.) A guy I grew up with has raped at least two women I know of, my ex included, and there are other stories that are unconfirmed. His actions are common knowledge, and yet people I know, and some that are my own friends continued to hangout with him, invite him to parties, and act like nothing ever happened.
Now it's been a couple years since this has occurred and I didn't find out until later about them, but it's burned on my mind. Why the fuck did no one do anything upon finding this out? And why the fuck did they, and still to this day, act like nothing happened? How should I feel and think about this?
Simply, I would like your thoughts and perspectives on these two situations. I've thought them over before and just got more upset. I'm not sure why I'm thinking of this again now, but they are important to me, and I would just appreciate some fresh ideas on either.
Sorry for the long post, I was going to split them in two but didn't know if two similar posts by the same person a second apart would be kosher.
TL;DR: | 1.)Friend in drunk driving accident, knowingly served underage. 2.) A guy I know has raped at least two women, treated as though nothing happened. Thoughts and perspectives please. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Marriage proposal help?
POST: Obligatory 'back story':
My girlfriend and I were best friends for two years before I miraculously broke out of the friend-zone and into a full on relationship. We've now been together for 8 months, and I know for a fact that I want to marry this woman.
About a week ago, I thought of the brilliant (albiet, slightly unoriginal) idea of proposing to her on Christmas morning via her (our) Christmas gift. A brand new Harlequin Great Dane puppy. I told a few co-workers about the idea, and one of them even teared up because she thought it was such a great idea.
My girlfriend knows that I'll be proposing sometime in the near future, but doesn't know when, and on top of that, she figured out that I'm getting her the dog. She just hadn't put two and two together yet...until tonight.
She asked that, since the puppy would be ready in mid-November, if it was going to be a part of her proposal. I lied and said no, and that we wouldn't be getting the puppy until later. She bought it, even though I'm a terrible liar. I think it clicked right then and she asked "Are you proposing to me with the puppy on Christmas?" I lied again and said no, but she busted me.
She told me that she thinks that holidays are special enough without being proposed to, and that she'd rather keep Christmas as just Christmas.
So now, I'm stuck. I don't know how to propose to her, or even when. I think I'd still like to get the puppy as our Christmas present, but I just need to find a different time and place and way to propose to her. Do you guys (and gals) think you could help me out? Any ideas are greatly appreciated.
TL;DR: | Thought of a way to propose to my girlfriend, she figured it out and pretty much vetoed it. Need help figuring out a new way |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Everyone tells me that I [22/F] am in an abusive (emotionally) relationship with my boyfriend [24/M].
POST: The problem is that I don't see it. Do I feel happy with him ? Not really, but the thing is that for a week he'll make me the happiest girl alive, but then he'll start getting angry about pointless things, and I'll start questioning everything. He's the kind of person that gets really jealous about who I see and who I hang out with, he doesn't like my friends and hates to see me go out. He gets mad at me for spending time with my family instead of with him. He's really resentful and our fights usually get really messy. He once had sex with his ex in order to get back at me after a really bad fight, because he knew that everything that involved her in his life got me pretty jealous. I've read a lot about manipulative and unhealthy relationships and mine seems to meet all the criteria...
The problem is that, in overall, he's a good boyfriend. He takes good care of me, he always wants to see me, and puts me as his first priority. He has helped me financially and morally in some of my really hard times, and has pretty much always been there for me. This is pretty much why I have a hard time seeing him as a bad person in my life. How am I supposed to realize if his actions are only due to his emotions or if he's really toxic for me ? How will I ever let go of him if I can't even see the bad that he's bringing me ?
*Sorry for the spelling/grammar mistakes english isn't my first language
TL;DR: | My boyfriend is very manipulative and I've been told that his actions are emotional abuse, but I can't seem to let go of him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My girlfriend [26 F] of 1 year, keeps pressuring me [32 M] to move in together.
POST: Been with this girl for a little over a year now. She keep pressuring me to move in together. She wants to either move in to my house, that I share with a roommate (I own the house, he rents a room, but we have to share the kitchen, bathroom, etc), OR buy a house together.
I like this girl, but I'm just not ready to move in with her yet. I've tried telling her this, but she keeps saying she wants the relationship to move forward. She also doesn't feel like we spend enough time together and that moving in together is the solution. In my opinion I feel we spend plenty of time together. Luckily we both get weekends off, and I can't remember the last time we didn't spend a Friday Night, Saturday, and Sunday together (either at my place, or hers). We also spend at least 1 night together during the week. I feel that part of issue for her is that she moved away from her family and friends for a job opportunity, and she really has no one else to spend time with besides me.
Recently we were both on Vacation for 2 weeks. She stayed at my place the entire time. It was great, we went to Cedar Point for 2 days, then to Toronto for a few more, just chilled out a couple of days an didn't really do anything. On the Friday of the last weekend of the vacation I told her I wanted the Saturday and Sunday to myself, she got all upset and starting crying, and kept asking why I couldn't do what I wanted to do while she was there. All I wanted was a couple of days to myself, alone, she didn't get it. I finally had out right tell her to leave.
Any advise on how I should handle this?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend wants to move in together, but I'm not ready. She gets upset when I want alone time. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Would you let your SO dance with someone of the opposite sex?
POST: My gf (20F) and me (22M) have been dating for about a year. We are living in different cities for the next couple of months. She asked me if I thought it was ok if she danced with other guys when she goes out. She says she doesn't want to grind with anyone or intends to hook up with anyone. I don't have the desire to dance with anyone else, even though when I go clubbing women come up to me and want to dance with me. I guess I come from a more traditional background than my gf, but I don't necessarily think she's wrong.
I'm just interested in what everyone thinks.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend is away for a few months. She and I have been talking about dancing with other people. What do you think? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: How do I explain an abusive relationship to my friends?
POST: Hi Reddit. You were my saviour last time, so I plead for your aid once again.
Following up on [this] I managed to break up with my girlfriend. She hasn't stopped texting, telling me how she loves me and how she misses me.
I have managed to talk to my friends again and hangout a little. I asked to go and spend the new year's eve with them, but they don't understand why I haven't spoken with them for so long.
Last year I was supposed to go with them, but my GF manipulated things so that she could go with her best (female) friend while being with me at the same time.
I understand that they fear the same might happen this year, considering that we only started to talk again recently. The problem is I'm having a hard time explaining the nature of my relationship, because all they argue is I was ultimately the one responsible for my actions and that I'm talking about it like some big tragedy.
TL;DR: | How do I explain I was under this abusive relationship that cut my relationship with them, specially since none of them has ever been through the same? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by letting myself get into my head
POST: Okay not exactly today, the climax was yesterday but has been 6 months in the making
at the beginning of the year i was homeless, i decided to try hard to get into shape, diet, workout the works. Then some b.s happened with my family after finding an apartment (to be shared with my mother) and i slowed to basically a stop, i didnt gain weight but i spent 3 extra months that couldve gotten me to a goal of mine.
Well a week/week and a half ago i got the word that we were going to be evicted if we didnt vacate by/on the 15th. Naturally i was mad, depressed and all sorts of emotions. This caused me to get into a fight with my mom (over her boyfriend, attitude towards me, money etc.)
And here is the culmination of the fuck up: She told me yesterday that i was on my own. She said she didnt know where she was going to be (motel, shelter, bfs parents etc.) but that i had to leave and she wasnt going to be helping me out.
Now i am not saying it is her fault, im the one who got depressed and mad and all the other fun stuff. I decided to waste 3-4 months where i couldve made my goal and left on my own, but i didnt. Now i am waiting on a shelter to give me a bed, and spending all day walking around town looking for work (luckily i have a few leads already.)
Oh and also, due to not having any money i had to sell my last posession: my tablet. So this is written from a library computer (that i had to pay to use since the damned shelter wont give me a note saying im with them until they can do an interview) and have been cut off from dear sweet Reddit.
TL;DR: | Spent 3 months being a lazy ass, am now homeless by myself, with no one to really go to for help. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20M] fantasize and want to cheat on my GF [20F] of almost 2 years
POST: About 2 years ago I had a choice, go with this new great girl or go for the girl I loved for so long, dated on and off for a month who just then started falling for me. I chose the new great girl because she didn't keep me waiting and she was genuine. 2 years later and everything seems great, her family is great and loves me. I love this girl and I know she adores me as well.
I feel like I'm either getting too comfortable now or I'm feeling that the girl I have right now isn't enough for me or good enough for me. The other girl was thin, great in bed, hilarious and intelligent. The girl I'm with now is a little chubbier, she tries in bed, and a little below average in terms of intelligence. She's so kind hearted and innocent, I feel bad to think it, but there are times I would love to just go back to my ex and act upon what I've been missing.
If I left my current GF, I feel like I'd be breaking up with her entire family and also disappointing my own at this point considering how much my parents love her too. The reason this all came to mind today was because my ex message me and asked to see me for the first time in 2 years. I just said maybe some other time, but it's all I can think about. Also I may add that about a week into my relationship with my current GF, I slept with my ex one last time. My current GF knows and we sorted it out.
TL;DR: | Feel like I have too many ties with my current GF to break it off. Feeling bored in the bedroom/relationship and want the excitement my ex could provide. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: 27F, LDR is on shaky ground after recent upset
POST: I'm in a long term, long distance relationship.
*I know*
My SO is bringing me out to see them in a handful of weeks and I was so stoked, like, stupid excited. We talk often, share our feelings, pictures, etc. things to make the other person feel included in our separate lives. I've gotten used to it, I feel like I've grown, and I feel like it's made me appreciate them more, and find reasons other than physical to be attracted to them. Everything was fine, we had the basic plan down. Fast forward a couple days of general chatting, nothing too deep, and suddenly an announcement happens. My SO has also invited their ex to join them on vacation. Now, I don't know any other details other than it's happening and there are kids involved. I assume it will look like any other family vacation, two adults, two kids, all traveling together and "touristing" together....in Italy....
I'm trying not be the jealous girlfriend, but I can't help but be really hurt and confused by this declaration. Should I be concerned? I don't want to think of my SO as disrespectful or uncaring, but this whole thing just feels wrong to me. I don't even know how to feel, but I've gotten little to no reassurance from my SO and I honestly don't know what to think anymore.
TL;DR: | My SO is taking the ex and ex's kids on vacation and I don't know how to process / cope / breathe....etc. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, I want to hear stories about your favorite troll professor/teacher moments.
POST: When I was in high school I had an excellent physics teacher who always had great hands on demonstrations for the class. He taught us how to yank a tablecloth from underneath a complete dinner setting (I was the only one in class that got up and tried, successfully), he turned a hallway into a miniature pool hall, and he had a Van de Graaff generator that he pulled out once a semester, among other things.
One class we were discussing the properties of light, refraction specifically. Our teacher handed out small cylinders of glass about the length and width of a pencil to every student. Along with this he handed out two slips of paper to each student each with a word in bold print, one with the word LAUGHTER in blue ink, and one with the word CHECKED in red ink.
The professor had us take the glass cylinder and lay it flat over the blue word, and proceeded to explain that as the light is refracted through the glass it is flipped upside down before reaching our eyes. It was true, LAUGHTER was upside down as viewed through the cylinder.
We then moved to the red word, and the professor went on with a lengthy explanation about how, because red light is a much longer wavelength than blue light, the refractive properties were different, and as such the word in red ink would not be flipped upside down when viewed through the cylinder. Again, the evidence bore this out.
However, it struck me as odd that this should be true. I mean we're differences in wavelengths of nanometers, why should the macroscopic effects be so vastly different. It was then that I realized that they aren't... all of the letters in CHECKED look exactly the same when flipped upside down. I looked at the professor and said "Ah ha... I know your tricks!" Everyone else just looked at me like I was stupid, and the teacher gave me a big ol' troll grin. I didn't explain.
TL;DR: | High School Physics teacher trolled the class with some intentional misinformation. As far as I could tell, I was the only one that questioned it and caught on. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [29M] with my friend [30F] 6 months, she wants to work on herself I want to see where we go.
POST: A little background on me: I am very inexperienced when it comes to dating, I joined the military and didn't have any serious relationships because I was always moving around due to my specific job.
I met my friend about 6 months ago and we instantly hit it off. We read the same books, play the same games, and generally have a lot in common. She broke up with her boyfriend of 3 years early on when I met her. She also has a kid who I get along great with. She told me he said I was his idol the other day.
We both have feelings for each other but she wants to be single and learn to be happy by herself.
I want what's best for her, however, I'm struggling with whether I should move on or wait it out to see where things go. Since she doesn't know how long it will take before she's ready for a relationship again.
The way I see it, my choices are to wait it out, or move on. If I wait it out, either we will end up together, or she will find someone else. If i move on and meet someone else, i dont think it would be fair to them if i stayed in contact with someone i have so much chemistry with.
I feel like if I move on I'm going to regret it, and I don't want her son to lose another guy he looks up to in his life. I feel like I'm in limbo.
Any advice?
TL;DR: | Friend and I have feelings for each other but she wants to be single for a while since she recently got out of a relationship. What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/self
TITLE: Stuck faking my religion. What should I do?
POST: Hello Reddit, I have come to my wits end as of late. I have attended an apostolic Pentecostal church since the age of 17. I am now 20. When I first went to this church I felt like a new person and was baptized and "spoke in tongues". I had a new mindset and shunned my past. I cleaned up my act and quit smoking the occasional weed. Fast forward a year or so and I meet this girl who was born and raised in the same faith.
We began to date and soon after we began I expressed to her that I felt like my church had some judgmental aspects to it. I scared her as she thought I wasn't sure in my beliefs.
Anyway, I ended up reassuring her that my faith in God was strong. I play guitar for the band in my church and my main social circle is in this church. For the past 2 or so years I have known that I do not fully believe the doctrine that is being taught in my church. Lately I have seen a change in my personality, I'm more irritable and when I'm alone I don't act the same as I would if other people were around.
If I stop going to this church I will lose my friends and my girlfriend of 2 years (whom I have told I want to marry). She has told me plenty of times that she will not be with someone that is not 100% about their faith.
Also I wonder about my future kids and how I will raise them. My religion believes women should wear long skirts in public. I don't know if I could force my daughter to do that.
Loneliness is creeping in lately and it's been weighing on my mind.
HELP REDDIT!
TL;DR: | I'm not happy with my religion and leaving it will mean losing my friends and girlfriend (whom I'm on the brink of marrying). |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit has anyone every committed a crime against you because of someone else?
POST: I was once robbed at gunpoint by a drug dealer I used for about 6 months. I live in a small city of about 15-20thousand people and theres not a lot of gang activity or crime...just a lot of meth heads. Anyways I went to go buy an ounce from him (me and my friends would all pool money and buy in a bigger quantity) and he got in the back seat and pulled a gun on us and proceeded to say "Man I'm in a gang and I have to do this or else I get in deep shit" So I hand him the money and my friend takes out his wallet (all this time theres people watching him from both sides of the street block) so he takes my money and only 20 dollars from my friends wallet which had $180 dollars in it and left. I guess being in a gang is like being in a cult.
TL;DR: | Got robbed at gunpoint cause of being in a 'gang' and didnt take all of my money cause he was guilty. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How can I compete in a voting competition with someone who used a popular person to make a tweet?
POST: Hello Reddit!
I'm in a competition where I'm trying to win a $10,000 scholarship and in the competition, you can vote once a day and all you do is click "Vote Now". I was winning 1st place for 2 months, but two days ago a person from around last place had a well-known friend who makes CoD videos on YouTube, has 200,000 YouTube subscribers, 80,000,000 channel views, and 12,000 followers who call themselves the *internet pseudo name* army, made a tweet saying ""GO HERE AND CLICK "VOTE NOW". IT'S FOR A HIGH SCHOOL FRIEND, TAKES 2 SECONDS <3"
What took me 2 months of relentless requests for votes from family, friends, coworkers, and even reconnecting with old acquaintances and having them vote everyday, this guy took in literally 2 hours. It's lame that he entered the contest 2 months after and put absolutely no effort at all and yet is first place now, but there's nothing in the rules that says he can't do that.
I don't have any friends with 12,000 ardent supporters and I've tweeted engineering accounts, surfers, skateboarders, surfing magazines, skateboarding magazines and I have not had 1 retweet :( Is it even ethical for anyone with that many supporters to do that? Is that why the person deleted his tweet a day later and no one has retweeted me? What should I do Reddit?
Disclaimer: I posted absolutely no details regarding this contest so I can't possibly be using you guys for votes since I understand how much Redditors don't like to be used for votes.
TL;DR: | Someone's friend tweeted a person to 1st place and he got 2 months worth of votes in 2 hours. How can I match that? |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Just got pre-approved for a mortgage...but should I actually buy a house?
POST: Fiance and I are currently renting for $700 a month, with utilities between $80/160 (summer/winter) and internet at $52 a month. I also pay renters insurance at $26 a year (USAA). We got preapproved for a 175K mortgage with a rate of 4%. Our estimated monthly payments would be 1,148.84 after taxes.
I make 31K a year and he makes 28K. I have a car loan out for 5,100 and student loans at 32K set to repay in June on income based (about 140 a month).
He has a student loan balance of 80K and about 2K in credit card debt.
We've been in this townhouse for about 3 years now, and while the rent is cheap, we feel that are outgrowing it (no matter how much we throw away/donate). We are hoping to move to a house that we can afford the monthly payment, but rent out a room for extra income towards bills/etc.
We are also planning a wedding for august of 2017.
Should we wait until our smaller debts are paid off before we take on another large payment?
TL;DR: | fiance and I are preapproved for a home but have other loans to pay at the moment, but want to move. Our monthly payment would be almost doubled not including utilities.Is it the right time? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Update: Am I being lied to? How do I politely ask?
POST: [Original Post](
First off thanks to everyone who posted, I read and considered every post before I was able to confront her about what I thought was going on.
So I tried to confront her about everything I believed to be un-true. She told me I was not the first person to accuse her of such things and seemed pretty offended, so I asked her if my assumptions were wrong which she promptly responded "Yes, you're wrong." Unsure how to react we sat in silence for maybe twenty to thirty minutes before she started explaining the situation about being a home owner was not entirely true and it was in fact her parents house. However everything else she fights to remain is true, she claims to think now that she believes her sister may have been adopted and she has been lied to her whole life. She showed me a dozen pictures or so of the two of them growing up together (I understand they might just be close family friends)
She claims to feel terrible about lieing about it and understands if I want to call things off, but is encouraging me to believe all this and try make things right again. I told her I would need a few days to cool off and really decide if I can even trust her anymore. What say you reddit? Still lieing to cover her ass? or should I wait for more solid evidence like asking said sister or a parent?
TL;DR: | She claims that not everything I accused her of lieing about was a lie and seemed to pass the blame off as she was lied to herself. Suggestions on how to move forward or back the fuck out? |
SUBREDDIT: r/cats
TITLE: Yesterday I tried to stop my cat from puking on my desk, but made things worse
POST: Yesterday I was sitting at my desk and my cat came to visit me. He's got part of a shoe box I keep on the desk for him to sleep in. It works well to keep him from lying/sitting in front of the monitor or on the keyboard.
So I'm surfing the 'net, and he's lying in his box when I hear the sound every cat owner is familiar with... \**hurk hurk hurk*\* He's facing directly towards me and the various papers and files I have out.
Thinking I should get him to the linoleum floor, or at least off my desk, I quickly grab him and whirl around. That's when it hit. In the middle of the spin, he starts throwing up. A soggy mixture of cat food and digestive juices sprays in an arc across my living room. Time slows down and the foamy globs seem to hang in the air as they form a perfect semicircle and fall to the carpet.
Stepping quickly over the mess, I rush him to the kitchen where he starts round two \**hurk hurk*\* While he finishes his business I glance back into the living room at the mess, and wonder where my life went wrong.
Sighing, I go to the closet to drag out the carpet cleaner to begin the slow process of scrubbing cat food slurry out of my carpet.
TL;DR: | Cat puked, tried to move him somewhere 'safe' and gave it the momentum to spread 6' across the carpet |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My sort of-friend [15/f] likes the same guy [16/m] that I [15/f] like - not sure how to feel
POST: Hello! If my formatting is weird, it's because I'm typing a little bit fast, yaddah yaddah.
Anyway! So, a while back while on the bus, I noticed this really cute boy who I had recognised from school named Peyton. Well, my friend decided to introduce us by kind of forcing me to talk to him (she knocked me into him) & it was an awkward beginning but we all became quite close friends because of it. Peyton had always shown signs that he liked me, compliments, asking how my day was going, or just generally showing he cared about how I was/my well being. He had even asked me if I had anyone taking me to the school dance then admitted that if I didn't have anyone, he'd like to take me. People have also mentioned him asking around about me or staring at me during the classes we have together.
Here's where the problem is - My friend, Sabrina, has always had a very.. playful relationship with him, such as making comments about his accent, calling him names, & joking around with him. Apparently something had even happened between the two during a school trip a few weeks ago, she wouldn't really tell me what happened & I didn't want to get upset over it so we left it at that.
Recently, Sabrina has admitted that she likes Peyton & when I started to mention that I had feelings too, she sort of brushed me off & told me she had plans to ask him to hang out, as in go on a date together. I was upset about it, but I let it slide & put aside my feelings for him because she's my friend & I care about her, her happiness, etc. I know I told her that she could go for it, but I'm starting to regret it. This was a few weeks ago, but she hasn't mentioned asking him out & neither has he, we've hung out several times since then as well. Should I talk to her & bring up if they went out on a date or just ask him out myself? I don't want anyone to get hurt, but I feel it'll happen either way.
TL;DR: | my sort-of friend knew i had feelings for our friend, told me she had feelings as well & that she planned to ask him out without really seeming to care how i felt |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I don't know if I just tell in an "horrible" way to my booty call that we should stop booty calling (NSFW)
POST: **Background:**
2 Years ago I met this girl in a party, we were having a great time and ended up having sex. After the party, we change phone numbers to hang up any other day (We never did).
Last year we met again and ended up having sex(again).
Both time she asked if I have girlfriend or if I want a girlfriend. Both times I replied, *I don't want or I'm looking for one*
**Present time:**
So, 2 weaks ago, we met again, we went to a bar, ended up making out and she gave me a Bj. We talked for a while, again, she asked if I'm looking for a girlfriend, and again, I said *no*. During the course of the night, we agree to meet each other again in a couple of days to fuck all night long.
Before we could met again, I went to a party with a girl I've met 6 months ago and I haven't seen since. She's great, and I'd like to date her again, but first, I have to cancel my booty call.
So, today I talked with my booty call (via facebook,) and told her that *we should not met again, that I think Im taking advantge of the situation* she keeps asking *why? why would you hurt me?, explain me, I'll understand*.....So I told her about the party that I went with this girl, and that I think I'll give a shot with her...5 hrs later and I haven't recieve and answer.
I talked to a friend and explained the whole situation and she almost slapped me and said...*wtf is wrong with you!, thats the worst way you could possible explain the situation! you just broke the self esteem to a girl!*
Was that so wrong ? Was it better to lie ? I tried not mention this girl to my booty call, but she kept asking why, so I told her the truth...
TL;DR: | I told to my booty call that we should not fuck again cuz I met a great non-booty call girl |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [18M] in FWB relationship and trying not to become attached.
POST: So this girl and I started being FWB about 3 months ago. At the time I had just gotten out of a strange thing with another girl(somewhat one sided relationship) and she was the first girl that had "gone out" with me.
When this other girl proposed a FWB relationship I was fine with it. We layed down some basics of what we wanted from this. All physical and nothing else. She has been through some crazy relationships and wanted no attachment between us.
It all started off well. Until recently, I started to feel for her and wanting more than just physical love. I told her how I felt and we started holding off with seeing each other. But now I feel worse, all I want is her and I feel too much towards her.
How am I meant to deal with attachments and how to control it?
TL;DR: | in FWB relationship and starting to feel way too much towards her. Needing help on how to control my attachment issues |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [29/F] with my husband [27/M] and our housemates [26/M] and [18/F] on our pet situation...
POST: My husband and I have two well behaved dogs, our housemates have two untrained dogs. Their adult male has recently become aggressive.
He has attacked a total of five dogs now, And just this evening attacked a puppy to the point where he has puncture wounds and was covered in blood and terrified. I've expressed my concern many many times but I'm never taken seriously.
We have a 18 month old daughter and though he's not been aggressive towards people...I don't care, I don't trust him and don't let him near her or our smaller dog at all. So, tonight my husband talks to him about the issue and his response is that he's been working long hours and the dog is missing his attention and if I have a problem with it I can just leave. Excuse me?! He barged into my bedroom to inform me of this no less. And my husband just shrugs and says "oh its his house, he makes the rules" I am the only one here at home all day since I don't work. But their two dogs never listen to me so I find it very difficult to train them, train my dogs, care for my daughter, and a whole household.
I'm fed up with his hostility when anyone mentions that his dogs are out of control. He wants to keep pets but refuses to be responsible for their behavior. I'm honestly afraid that a confrontation is brewing that could really hurt the whole household. His fiancee, the 18 year old, is my good friend, but also afraid to confront him cause he blows up on her constantly. I'd love to say "lets just leave and get our own place" but that is just not a possibility just yet for financial reasons.
What can I do here? I'm angry he refuses to do anything about it, but I'm also angry at my husband for just letting someone he claims is his best friend speak to me that way.
TL;DR: | roommates have untrained violent dogs, afraid for my daughters and other animals safety but don't have the choice to move and home owner is belligerent and irresponsible asshole about it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My ex GF (21f) wants to reconnect with me (27M) on a friend level. I think. Also wants her old job back at my store. Advise me please!
POST: So I had a hard break-up six months ago with my girlfriend of a year. It was rough and I handled it in all the wrong ways. Thanks to Redditors advice I finally got to no-contact and was doing a little better.
But then she started contacting me. She's got a new boyfriend (total tool pouch), and has said she REAALLY wants to continue our friendship. She texted me out of the blue a couple of weeks ago, just to catch up. We went so far as to make plans to meet up, but she blew me off. So I said fuck her and went back to NC.
This week, all of a sudden she's liking a lot of my post on FB, which she really has to go out of her way to do since we are not friends. After the 3rd like where her face shows up in my notifications, all of a sudden that same face walks through the front door of the small business I manage. Ugh.
She worked there before we ever dated, that's where our friendship was cultivated. She loves the business, never wanted to leave, but had to for money reasons. Now she's unemployed and dropped a few hints about working there. She mentioned she was planning to apply at a competitor down the street, but would much rather work at my place.
Thing is, we desperately need her as an employee. She's excellent for the position and it is vacant. It's pretty much my call, and I don't know what to do.
I mean, girls never ever get disenfranchised with their current beaus and make up excuses to hang out with their exes. Right? Right? Hiring her might set me up to be hurt again, as I'm not quite over her. As with relationships, there are other fish in the sea for employees, but when you can catch it with your hands...advise me, what do you think?
TL;DR: | Ex and I had a bad break up. Now she wants to be friends and co-workers. Maybe more it seems? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Scared that I [25F] am falling out of love with my BF [26M] of 6 months.
POST: I've been with my boyfriend for ~6 months, it is the first time I have been in love, and I'm terrified that I'm falling out of love with him. I love him, I want to spend time with him, I never avoid his calls or texts, we have regular sex, I just feel like for the past week or so I haven't been getting the same butterflies that I usually do.
This might all sound very stupid and overreacting, but we're a very affectionate couple, and I just feel horrible and guilty the past week when he's been telling me he loves me or that he misses me, because I haven't felt the same way. I'm so scared of falling out of love with him, because I don't want to. The longer this 'lack of butterflies' goes on, the more scared I'm getting. I know the honeymoon period can't last forever, but I feel like this is more than that.
TL;DR: | Feel like my boyfriend is more in love with me than I am with him - I might even be falling out of love, but I really don't want to be. Advice/reassurance? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19 M] sent a really cringey / creepy fb message to this girl [19 or 20 idk] last year (2014) and I just found out that we work at the same internship place. How should I proceed?
POST: Hi there reddit. A year ago I submitted this [thread] based on this [picture] sorry for the shitty crop
To summarize, during freshman year of college I had a crush on this girl I had two classes with. I had spoken to her a few times in class but that was it. I hit her with a friend request on facebook but she never responded.
Anyway, one night I was really drunk and I decided to send her the message in that picture linked above. I have seen her like a dozen times since then but I've never said anything. She works in one of the libraries on campus and a few times I've had to return books but her line was the only one available so I literally did a 180 and straight left.
Despite how fucking weird and embarrassing that message is, I promise I'm actually relatively normal. Anyway, I was bored at work and I was searching through the outlook mailbox and I thought "hmm I wonder who the other interns are?" I used the advanced search and typed in 'temp' and BAM - her name is the first name under mine. I did my best to hold in my laughter but I was still in disbelief. She has a somewhat unique spelling of her name and I was like "there's no way it's her, that's impossible."
So I searched her name and the company I work at and BAM - it came up with her linked in profile that shows our school and the company. Definitely her.
I haven't seen her around the office yet and I'm only here for like another 2 weeks. Part of me wants to be like "omg no way we work at the same place?!!?!?!" but then again there is that insanely cringey facebook message that randomly comes into my mind every now and again when I'm trying to enjoy life.
You can call me a hopeless romantic but I mean I've got fuckall to lose at this point.
TL;DR: | last year i sent this girl in 2 of my classes a really weird fb message and i haven't spoken to her since. just found out we work in the same building |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: My fiance's boss, is pressuring us about Ambit Energy here in NY. I'm in need of some assistance. [submitted last night at a horrible hour]
POST: Alright, I gotta get right down to it. There is NO WAY in hell I'm going to sign up for this. A quick google search of this information on Ambit Energy turns up an absolute fuckload of people claiming its a scam. It is absolutely a multi-level marketing situation. Every website I visit that talks about how these people con you into joining them is filled with comments about how awesome Ambit is, and how amazing their customer service is. Its as bad as reading the obviously fake reviews on Amazon or something. What I'm asking reddit, is to help a guy out with all the necessary information to be able to show my fiance's boss so he'll either A) stop fucking hassling us about it, and/or B) get the fuck out of it himself before he screws himself. Pyramid schemes are shitty, make no mistake. I have a hard time feeling bad for people who fall for them, but still, everyone makes mistakes. I feel obligated to give this guy more facts than I could dig up.
So reddit, does anyone have anything on this company that they can share with me?
TL;DR: | I need information on a company that is more than likely a scam. Ambit Energy, I'm just hoping you guys can help. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [23F] and think my sister [15F] has a secret boyfriend [18/19M] and that they are having sex.
POST: Ok so I'm from a somewhat strict and traditional family. Mainly things like education is important to my parents and they feel that we shouldn't date until we're about 18 years old.
My sister has a tendency to lie and to be sneaky. She's a good kid but gets grounded often just for doing stupid stuff like failing a class because she "forgets" to do or turn in her homework.
Recently she got grounded for this exact reason and had her cell and tablet taken away from her. My mother went to charge her phone only to realize the battery had been removed. My sister made a big deal about the battery falling out, so naturally my mother got suspicious.
Well once the battery is back in my mom decides to go through her phone and finds nothing. While I was in the kitchen her phone vibrated and a text comes up from a male. The message said something along the lines of how he missed his babe and couldn't wait to see her again. I open her phone ( I know, I know I'll get reddit hate) and see a few texts about them making love when he comes to visit on the weekends (and obviously when no one is around).
I'm not sure whether to talk to my sister about this or if I should ignore it. The guy is a freshman in college and a pothead. Now I don't have a problem with weed but I have a problem with it being around my little sister, the girl can't even drive.
If they are going to be having sex I really think she needs to be put on birth control. I don't even know if they are using condoms. I honestly don't think that she is mature enough to be involved with someone sexually or romantically and I don't think she understands that someone away at college and with a job has different priorities than a sophomore in high school. Plus she's not even at the consensual age yet.
TL;DR: | Like the title says. Saw a text referencing sex and have a problem with the age difference, the relations, the distance, and the lying. |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: Advice on "Marketing Firm" Olympus Marketing (New Orleans)
POST: I am looking for a job in New Orleans on Craigslist and came across this ad [New Office-Full Time Positions Available for Immediate Hire (Downtown New orleans)](
The company is Olympus Marketing and they are "a top growing marketing firm in New Orleans. Looking to continue the growth that have had, we provide excellent customer service for our clients. Representing fortune 500 and 100 clients assisting them with their customer acquisition and retention."
Umbrella company is [Credico] Representing firm, Sprint (telecommunications).
I am required to go through three interviews. I just went to the first one and I have never been to an interview like that. It seemed as if I was the interviewer. I barely talked. He did ask me quick questions and wrote down answers on his sheet. He seemed more nervous than me.
I gave my name, email, question on criminal record, something else and my signature , (poorly done on purpose).
Interviewer (Associate Manager of the branch) then proceeded to ask me the normal questions but it all seemed memorized, like a pitch. They he asks me if I want to work in a high energy environment. As if he had memorized it to be a cheer, but instead delivered in the most monotonous way. Objective is to be an associate manager, then a manager and run your own office. You deliver more profits to the client (Sprint) by having more managers, and more offices with associate managers. The interview was more about elaborating on the company scheme than asking me questions. That was a first.
TL;DR: | I just want to know if you folks have heard about Olympus Marketing (6 months old), or the parent company Credico. Any advice is appreciate. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Asking ex wife for sole custody.
POST: I'm in a tough situation. States have been changed for anonymity.
My daughters' mother is barely in their lives.
About a year ago I was in the Army stationed in Georgia. She said she needed a break and I flew my daughters (who are now 4 and 5) and their mother out to hand them off. She didn't want to check out their living situation, she dropped them off at the airport.
Since that time, I got out of the Army in February and moved back to Michigan. I moved in with my parents, who offered to help out while I tried to sell my house in Georgia. Ex wife lives in the same town as my parents.
She has seen them maybe twice a month, usually on a holiday or someone's birthday.
Wanting to go to school, and unsuccessfully trying to sell my house, I'm looking at moving back there until the market looks better (also fix up the house more and finish my degree).
This is where it gets tough. Our divorce was not messy, but was completed by me alone. She let it go to true default and didn't file any paperwork. My original papers became what was approved, which showed no money being exchanged (child or spousal support), and gave joint physical and joint legal custody (no set visitation restrictions).
I would like to present her with papers giving me sole custody, that we both sign and settle this without going before a judge. I just don't know how to bring that up to her. Go for the jugular and throw it in her face, go for the soft approach, or something better that I can't think of.
TL;DR: | Not a legal question. How do I ask my ex wife for sole custody of our young daughters so I can move out of state with them? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Guy (28/m) I've (22/f) been seeing has a weird online persona going on. (Second Update - Just need advice on what to do).
POST: [First update](
[Original](
So I didn't even think I needed to make this but I really don't get what to do. I stopped texting him from the app when I realized he was just catfishing. Not a scammer. He wanted pictures and to sext. That sort of thing. Creeped me out. I couldn't even pretend to go on with this anymore so I called him and just told him what was up. That I found his online profiles because I googled him (like I do every guy I date) and he was really mad. He started shouting into the phone how I invaded his privacy, how dare I, that he was going to sue me, that he was just having fun and it was none of my business. I hung up on him and blocked his number using iOS 7.
However, what should I do if I see him in person? We run into each other a lot as that's how we met in the first place. Like one of those people you constantly see.
TL;DR: | Guy I was dating was just catfishing. He's mad I found out. I blocked his number. However, I don't know what to do if I see him in person. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: 19f not sure how to ask 24m about certain intentions
POST: Heres the thing. This guy (lets call him Andrew) is just way too suave to just be seeing me. I think.
How we know each other: We have a class together that meets once a week and at one point he dropped a love note in my bag. It had a poem saying that I was cute and to text him (he wrote his name and number on there). This was 9 days ago. I texted him back not knowing what he looked like but oh my god is he gorgeous (think young leonardo dicaprio with a six pack). (He's still in school because he took some time off and lived abroad.) I know he wants to have sex because, while writing poems to eachother in class he said something about smelly clothes not mattering if they were on his ceiling fan. I cant really get it clearer than that, but just trust that he does, and decently soon. (I dont have much of a problem with that under the right circumstances.)
Tonight he cooked dinner for me at his place and there was some action afterward, but no sex. Basically, i dont need a relationship (though i wouldnt necessarily be opposed to one), but i've only ever been with one guy before and andrew is clearly very experienced. Is it weird for me to ask him what his current intentions are this soon? I'm not trying to scare him away but am also not the kind of person to hide my curiosities if it can be avoided. Also, how do I ask him what else is going on in his sex life atm? I dont want to risk getting an std of any kind.
TL;DR: | I'm not sure how to ask about how seriously hes taking it. As in might it develop into something or does he do this all the time |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22F] with my ex [25M] ended it after 5 years, I don't know how to deal with the regret
POST: My ex and I had a wonderful relationship for 5 years. We were lovers, best friends, held the same interests, and never seemed to get tired of each other. We lived together for 4.5 of those years and those times were amazing.
The past year got a little rocky. I started getting angsty about never being able to be "single" during my young years. The idea of being with him forever wasn't scary, but that part of it was. I was nervous about the fact that I may be missing something else out there. I wasn't thinking about this constantly, but when I did, it made me feel impulsive. I knew he knew how I felt, or something like it, but loved me enough to hopefully see me through it.
We ended up breaking up about a month ago. The first two weeks were great - I could do whatever I wanted! But slowly, every day has gotten harder. Instead of me "going to see what's out there", I find no other man attractive. He on the other hand, has begun "hanging out with" one of our mutual friends on a pretty regular basis. We still see each other, as we still have mutual friends and he is currently moving out of our home together right now (which may be one of the most heart breaking facts to deal with right now). I haven't been sleeping, eating, or really giving a care about much in the world besides when I am going to see him next.
So reddit, I guess my question is, what do I do with myself here? It is so hard to read him right now - at moments he is super standoffish and seems very happy about the break up - others he is looking at me like I am still the love of his life. Do I invest time pining after him and trying to get him back? Like I said, he is currently "hanging out" with someone else. Do I just swallow my pride and "see what happens"?
TL;DR: | Broke up with ex because I was scared of being with the same man forever, but now regret that entirely. Do I try to get him back? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My good friend [20F] of 4 years has ignored me [22M] since getting a boyfriend
POST: I've known this girl, let's call her Amy, for about 4 or 5 years now. She lives close to me when we are both not at university, and we meet up a couple of times a year, sometimes even more. We used to talk on a regular basis, every few days.
Initially we became friends after meeting at a party and ending up having really similar interests in stuff like hobbies, TV shows etc. and we spoke on a daily basis. There was a bit of a flirty undertone to things, we liked each others Facebook photos, spoke a hell of a lot, and did very minor flirting. All of our mutual friends used to joke about how we were secretly having sex, but nothing ever happened, despite me secretly having a few feelings I never acted on. I suspect she felt the same way.
Over the years we have spoken less, however she came to visit me at uni and we shared a bed with zero naughty business occurring. We'd still have some nice long conversations and generally just hold an interest in each others life. Amy always moaned about me to the various guys she was with and I did the same when I was having girl issues.
Amy recently got in a relationship, according to Facebook. Since then she's replied to none of my texts, favourited none of my tweets and liked none of my instagram photos. I feel this is fairly weird and before she was really active on social media towards me.
What does this mean? Is she too busy to talk to me now? Could her new boyfriend be a controlling type and not let her talk to other guys? Is she not talking to me for fear it could constitute "emotional cheating?". I am generally very confused as to what is going on because Amy was honestly a friend I could trust and really enjoyed talking to.
TL;DR: | Good friend with possible romantic intentions in the past gets boyfriend, ignores me completely. What does this mean and what do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My girlfriend [20/F] and I [19/M] have decided to come to an amicable end at the end of summer. I just found out that she and her ex have been talking and plan to get back together when she goes back to school.
POST: Title says almost all. We've always known that the long distance thing would never work. We wanted to have one last hurrah for the end, and we have planned and booked a week long trip that begins on Thursday, after which I leave for college. Last night she told me that she and her ex have been talking for about a month and they have been planning to get back together when school starts for her.
Naturally, I freaked out about this, but she blew up at me afterwards and said I was playing the victim, and that it was my fault that she was drifting towards her ex because I didn't text her enough.
What the fuck do I do? I love her, but part of me hates her at the same time. I've always feared that she has been using me because she doesn't want to be alone, and I feel like this proves that theory.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend is already planning to get back together with her ex when we both leave for college in two weeks. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [28M] long distance girlfriend [35F] always becomes really withdrawn after our visits.
POST: I'm 28[M], she's 35[F]. We've been together for just over 3 months now, and have managed to spend a ~5 day weekend together every month so far.
She just went back home yesterday after our third visit. Every time we separate again, she becomes really withdrawn and doesn't text me very much at all compared to how much we do before a visit. One word answers, doesn't call me hunny/sweetie/baby like she normally does.
Her life is insanely stressful. She has kids, awful ex-husbands, and a stressful job to deal with. The last thing that I want to do is to add to that by being clingy, but it's just absolutely devastating to me. Just the transition from being together 24 hours a day to going back to texting is hard enough. But when she barely even does that, I just start freaking out.
I know that everybody is just going to tell me to talk to her and tell her about this, but that is the last thing that I should do. That's what I did after the second visit, and she said that she was overwhelmed and couldn't handle me adding more stress to her life and she broke up with me. We were back together the next day, we both laugh about it now and tease her about being crazy.
Everything went really well during the visit. We were paying each other a lot of compliments and she even said that I was the perfect boyfriend. We often talk about going on vacations, or planning things to do during the summer. We even talk about either one of us moving once we've been together for about a year.
This is my first relationship and I am just constantly terrified that she is going to break up with me. Is this normal?
I guess I'm just insecure and I think that I should just give her a little bit of space. She's probably just really stressed out about going back to her crazy life after being on a "vacation" with me.
TL;DR: | Long distance girlfriend gets really quiet and withdrawn after seeing me. I find it incredibly difficult to resist the urge to say "What's wrong?" Is this constant fear of losing her normal? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me[25M] with my former "girlfriend" [21F] of 2 months stopped dating about a month ago. Need an opinion
POST: I guess you could say my x GF broke up with me a little under a month ago. We haven't spoken to each other in about a month. She ended things due to "not seeing a romantic future together". She made the, "I hope we can still be friends comment" as the last thing she said to me.
I know she starts her fall semester tomorrow. I was wondering if it was to much or out of place to wish her good luck on the new semester in a text. Nothing more.
I don't have any ill will towards her. I still like her as a friend enough to show that I don't have any ill will, but I'm worried it will come as as if I didn't move on.
What are your guys thoughts?
TL;DR: | thinking about wishing someone I use to date good luck on the new semester, but worried it will come off as if I didn't move on. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (19/M) got dumped by my GF (19/F) a few days ago and I'm forced to see her everyday.
POST: So me and my now ex-gf dated for 1 year. It was my first real relationship. A few days ago we sat down to have a talk because i said that she was acting weird. She said that she was a mess for the past few days. She's been under a lot of stress lately due to school work and said that she didn't want to be in a relationship right now. I understood that perfectly fine and she admitted that she loves me but things have just been different. To be honest i had noticed that something was off the past couple of weeks but I did not expect this.
After doing a little bit of browsing on a few subreddits, I figured that I would just try not contacting her until I was over it. The only problem is that I see her everywhere!! We are both student-athletes at my university, we share a weight room, live on the same street as each other, and have many mutual friends because all the student athletes hang out together. The worst of them all though, we have a class together in which we are assigned to the same group which requires a lot of face to face talking.
So as of now I've been trying to put on a happy face and just try to live my life and show that nothing is wrong. The night of the break up I felt perfectly fine, I almost felt a relief. But yesterday during our class, I felt like I was going to throw up.
I still have hopes for getting back together in the future and I was wondering if you guys could give me any advice. Also I don't know how I should act around her. Do I act the way I feel? Or do I keep pretending like it doesn't bother me?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend dumped me, I have to see her nearly everyday for school and sports. Not sure how to act around her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Strong relationship with commitment deadline approaching but losing physical attraction M26/F24
POST: F24 and I (M26) have been together for 2 years. Our personalities are super compatible. Our lifestyles are not.
She is hard-working, very social but lazy when it comes to exercising and has an inability to control her diet. She is not fat, but is overweight.
We met in an American city where we have strong social networks and always had a reason to go out. I have recently moved away from there for work.
Since moving I have adopted a much more active lifestyle. This is the result of having less social obligations. Have never been happier. I've recently realized how important taking care of the body is, and expect that my SO hold herself to the same standard. As I put in the effort to get into shape and see results, her weight and lazy lifestyle is becoming unattractive to me.
My GF and I have had a healthy LDR, but we are approaching decision time. Should she move away from the city to be with me? I am concerned that 1) her lazy ways might affect my lifestyle and 2) committing to having her move would lock me into the long term with someone who doesn't value their body like I do (for lack of a better way of putting it going to get fat).
We still have a very strong and loving emotional connection. It is the physical aspect that concerns me.
Any thoughts?
TL;DR: | GF is lazy and overweight while I am getting in shape. Losing physical attraction but still have emotional connection. Deadline for commitment is approaching. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [23f]Wondering if my bf [27m]cheated on me
POST: I'm 23f, he's 27m, been in a relationship for a year.
Before me he had slept with someone and he contracted chlamydia. He got it treated and it went away. Slept with another person after that, and then slept with me after we got into a relationship. I had regular check-ups along with an STD test several months into the relationship, and I had nothing.
He went to the dr's and got an STD test recently. Turns out he got chlamydia when I had previously been clean, and I got it as well, and I was symptomatic. We both got treated, and it went away.
He has shown interest in other women while with me (horrible time in our relationship), but I didn't think he was physical with any of them.
Is it possible that he had gotten physical with someone while with me and contracted chlamydia from them?
TL;DR: | Bf contracted chlamydia while with me when I had previously been clean. Not sure if he could have gotten physical with someone while with me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [21F] having a hard time making friends at college.
POST: I moved to a new city to start college and I hoped it would be a fresh start. It's already been a month, but I don't seem to be adjusting well.
It's always taken me a little longer to get to know people (introvert here), but I do have lots of good friends in my hometown.
It feels like high school all over again here, though. Basically, despite the fact that I'm putting myself out there, trying to talk to people and get to know them, I have some acquaintances but no one seems interested in being friends.
If we're talking one on one, the conversation fizzles out too quickly. All the club meetings I've been to have ended up with me being forgotten about (I'm fairly quiet, so I find if most of the group is more extroverted they end up talking over me).
I like my roommates, but I don't have too much in common with any of them. They're the only ones I've hung out with so far, but usually the problem with groups I wrote about above happens since they're all really talkative.
To make things worse, despite the fact I'm doing well in school now after having a bit of a rocky start, my professors seem pretty thoroughly unimpressed whenever I talk to them or ask/answer a question in class, and I don't really know why.
I don't know what else I can do. I try to talk to at least a couple new people per day, talk to my roommates' friends when they're over, go to the gym regularly, and get involved with clubs and drop-in sports while making sure there's still time to study.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated, thank you so much!
TL;DR: | [21F], moved away to college a month ago, haven't been able to make friends yet, no one seems interested besides my roommates, despite no lack of friends in my hometown. What can I do to change this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: She told me that if i was ended up homeless shed brake up with me?!?
POST: Im 20 she's 18. Since I've going through some tough times, with getting hours at work I asked , hypotheticaly, what she would do if I ended up with no place to live. Whats she would do, she said to me "I'd brake up with you" and I thought does she really love me if thats her first though isn't that just cold. She's someone I can see myself spending my life with but it was just a shock. Should I be concerned about this as a personality trait.
We both live at home with our parents and we attend college.
I Know that im not going to end up homeless but im not sure how to feel about this part of her personality, what does it say about her, as a person. We've only been together a year, I know its early in our relationship to be thinking about these things. I just want an outside view on the situation.
Any help would be appreciated. What I basicly want to know is how should i take this in refference to what it says about her character.
TL;DR: | girlfreind said if I ended up homeless she'd just leave me and i dont know how to take it |
SUBREDDIT: r/needadvice
TITLE: Need Advice on Asking Friend's Boss For A Job
POST: Three of my close friends were offered positions last year with a very prestigious law firm in the area. I ran into them one night by coincidence at a restaurant where they were out with a hiring partner of the firm.
I was invited to sit down, and immediately hit it off with the partner. I genuinely enjoyed our chance interaction, and didn't think to ask about a position or anything that crossed into business discussion. I had never applied to the firm before this.
Those three friends have since remarked on how much if a good impression I made that night and are encouraging me to shoot the partner an email about the possibility of working there during the summer. Thing is, I don't know if I am comfortable doing this. I would absolutely love to work there, but part of me feels like I am playing a dirty game. If I would want to give it a shot (there's really nothing to lose) How do I write this email?
[
TL;DR: | ] - Hit it off with law firm hiring partner during chance encounter and now unsure of how to email asking for a job. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: AskReddit, quick question about workplace harassment.
POST: I work at McDonald's (I'm not ashamed at all) and I have a bit of an issue. My manager is incredibly abusive towards all employees, she says disgusting, inapropriate things that I don't feel comfortable repeating.
I would normally complain to the store manager, and the owner about it, but here lies the issue. She is the store manager, and is best friends with the owner. She works the scheduling and has already threatened to cut all my hours if I 'act up again' (which entails defending myself). So, my question is, do you know where I can go to report things like this? I need outside help as I no longer feel comfortable in the workplace.
TL;DR: | Abusive manager, can't report since she's in charge and bffls with the owner, where to turn? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25F] with my new coworkers [40'sF], they are sisters with drama.
POST: So I started a new job and two of the workers are sisters. These sisters have some major sibling rivalry going on. I guess when they were younger they were split apart. One, K was raised with her brother and her bio Mom. The other sister and her twin were raised by a distant family member.
This definitely causes strain in their relationship. I can see it in how they interact with each other. They also both come to me to vent about the other and I am not sure how to tell them to stop. I really like them both and I would like to be supportive of each of them, but I don't know how to do that in this environment.
I want to remain professional, but the work environment I am now in is very casual. Everyone is friend family or foe (sometimes a combo) to each other.
How do I handle this? They just had another argument and they both are coming to me separately to debrief about it.
I am definitely never going to be management material...
TL;DR: | I work with two sisters with MAJOR sibling rivalry going on. How do I handle it when they both come to me to complain about each other? |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: reddit secret santa left me disappointed but i feel like an asshole
POST: i do have better things to think about, i really do, but this was the first time i had done reddit secret santa and i was so excited! things have not been going well in my life recently and i thought this would be really fun.
i got my secret santa something i thought she would really like and have fun with, but she doesn't seem to be on reddit much and it was delivered 2 days ago but i havent seen or heard anything.
my gift....... i got a bunch of reddit decal sticker things?? and then i got a box with 2 little bags of cat treats. i love my cat, but i gave a lot of info on my "about me" that i thought would help out my secret santa. all i mentioned was that i have a cat.
TL;DR: | if you're doing secret santa, don't fill anything out under "do you have any pets" unless you want something for that pet... |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [22M] am seeing someone [26 F] in an open relationship but find myself getting overly jealous.
POST: Ok so I'm 22 and ever since I started college I started dating with the condition that's it's always open and not labeled. (Due to bad relationships and a desire to focus on school) I don't have time for real romance because I'm focused on my classes but I still enjoy going on dates and having sex.
I met this new girl recently, through a mutual friend who invited me over. The three of us hooked up that night and after I spent the night with the new girl. After getting to know her we decided to keep in touch and every so often she comes into town to visit. Over the past two months I've found myself getting more and more attached, and with that more and more jealous. She's just gotten out of a relationship and is not looking for any type of commitment neither am I. I'm actively reminding myself that I have no right to care about what she does or who else she spends time with. But I still find myself struggling to not worry or stress about it.
Any tips for managing jealousy? Or should I simply tell her I can't do this anymore? I don't want to miss out on her companionship. I enjoy her company and her personality.
TL;DR: | In an open relationship getting jealous, how do I manage jealously or do I give up? Exclusive relationship is not an option, she doesn't want to be tied down. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Is moving from a permanent job to a contract/temp position a bad idea?
POST: Early last year I went from a state mailroom job to a wireless phone tech support agent. That might be one of the larger mistakes that I've made in recent memory. The job's benefits are surprisingly good. But I burn through most of my paid time off on mental health days (I took one today).
Multiple times a day I'm screamed and cursed at for problems that other agents have created or situations that I literally cannot solve (no same day delivery, no free phones, can't improve cell coverage and even if the account credit is warranted it probably won't be approved). But I have to keep a pleasant tone demeanor so that the failed survey that's soon to follow the call can possibly be challenged. I have 30-60 seconds between calls and I'm expected to modify customer accounts and do other tasks during that short period of time. Due to the slowness of the system that is impossible so I do those tasks during my breaks and lunch. I feel like I'm terrible at my job but I somehow ended up in the top 10 tech agents in my center. In my opinion the job is hell.
I say all of that to ask will I be putting myself in a worse position by taking a contract IT position? I'm hoping to get a desktop support or field technician job. I know that my prospects are limited by only having a one computer certification and I'm only just getting started on my BS. But I feel that I will blow a gasket if I stay at my current job.
How bad of an idea is it to leave a permanent job for a contract one?
TL;DR: | I have a hellish call center job and I want to leave so badly that I'm thinking about taking a contract position. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26M] with my FWB [23F]for about 2 months, I'm seeing this woman who is still in love with her ex, what should I do, reasonable answers please!
POST: Hello,
I've been seeing this woman for about 2 months. I've known about her ex since the beginning. She's very open and honest about him and has told me since we've been hanging out that she's still in love with him.
Now...he lives pretty far away, and he continues to say through texts that he loves her etc. He was supposed to visit her a few times but he's always flaked. I think he uses her emotionally because he knows that she would run to him instantly if given the chance.
I'm conflicted because at first, I was just thinking friends...then we started sleeping together..and now I'm really into her. She's a great woman, who inspires me to do better and she's just...wonderful. I'm not in love with her, but I could see myself loving her someday.
We're very open with each other, we have no problem communicating, but I'm just wondering if I'm setting myself up for failure. She admits that I treat her better, and that eventually she will have to fall out of love with him.
I think it's worth it to wait around, I really care about her. However, I need some outside advice because, well, sometimes it's just better.
TL;DR: | I'm falling for a woman who is madly in love with another man, do I stay or do I go? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU, By not recording the person that was stealing from my front porch sooner.
POST: This happened just a couple minutes ago. I'd say 30 minutes ago still shaken up a little, But any way I'm in my room playing Advanced Warfare when I hear a knock on the door I am (high) at the time. So I turn all the lights off get my iPhone ready, and look threw the peep hole and being it 1am it's dark but there's no one there. So I creep towards the window, and see a white like kinda ford truck in front of my garage. I don't think anything of it so I just wait and listen. 5 min pass by and I hear foot steps running up my stairs again to the front porch mind you (It's a upstairs one story apartment) I hear a dude rummaging threw bags of blankets/clothes and other glassware type things my mom left in boxes out side a couple months ago. Then I hear him run back downstairs so I'm thinking in my high time of state "He robbed us Whaaathefuk" ? I run to the window and look out to see that he's carrying something. But I wasn't able to record the dick head getting in the car but,
I got the bastard driving off.
TL;DR: | Got high, popped a bar, wanted to watch prison break , when someone comes upstairs knocks on the door, I didn't see anyone cause it's 1am then he runs back up and really stole something outta the box |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: So called "friends" always neglecting me; depressed because I have no friends.
POST: So I'm friends with a few guys I've known since high school. We're all around 22-24 years old and usually we'll get together at one dude's house on the weekends, have a few beers play some fifa etc. I've always felt though, like the one in the back. They have their inside jokes and plain closeness that I've never had with any of them. I feel like a massive third wheel but on a larger scale since it's a bigger group (about 6-7 people).
Tonight I got a snapchat from one of them (perhaps by mistake) and it's a video of all of them at a bar celebrating one of the dude's birthdays. Basically, if I don't call/text them to see what's up that night, nobody will contact me first. Even sometimes I'll get no reply. If I mention it next time, they'll just blame it on me not having a facebook and not being aware of their events. Then when I don't hang out with them for a few weeks they act like they miss me and ask why I've disappeared.
I have bad history with one of the guys from a long time ago, and he influences the group greatly. He talks a lot of shit, he's also full of it. I feel like I'm the only one who realizes this since I've known him the longest. We're like passive enemies. We'll act cool around each other but we both secretly know we want to beat the other person's face in. Super ego inflated dude. Been this way for years.
Not sure if they realize/care that this does affect me psychologically and emotionally, I'm human too and when there's a void of social interaction it's going to mess with my head. I've known these guys for a really long time. In turn I don't know how to make new friends so I still hang out with them. Reddit, teach me how to friend?
TL;DR: | My life long friends are generally passive about my existence and it probably makes no difference to them whether or not I'm a part of their lives. I want to make new friends but don't know how. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Hey Reddit, jealousy question.
POST: Well, a little bit about me. I am a guy whose whole real motto is "making someone happy makes me happy". I don't need a relationship, but when I get in one, I'm very dedicated. At the start of this semester, about four months ago, I met a girl who I really started liking. We've hung out quite a few times, and then, just a few days ago, we started dating. She makes me extremely happy, and I love being with her. The one thing makes me somewhat worried is the fact that, in the past, I've been somewhat of a jealous person. Nothing too extreme/creepy/overboard, but still, I get that feeling in my stomach sometimes. This girl I've just began dating has a lot of guy friends. And while I know that I'm something special to her, and that I really have nothing to worry about, I can't help but get that jealous gut feeling when she hangs out with them. Does anyone have any good advice as to how to deal with jealousy? The funny thing is, I am a good looking guy, very personable, and I make her laugh all the time. She's said that she feels safe with me, and I know that she would be silly to leave me for someone else. That damn jealousy bug just won't go away though. Any thoughts? Thanks in advance everyone, Reddit is always helpful.
TL;DR: | I have a girlfriend who has mainly guy friends, and I sometimes get jealous about that. I have no reason to be. Does anyone have advice as to how to slay the jealousy monster? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: A girl I [21 F] just met is crushing hard on one of my close friends [22 M], who's a great friend but an asshole to girls. Should I warn her?
POST: I was at a party this weekend and met a girl through a mutual friend. It was her 21st birthday party (we're all seniors in college) and she was clearly having an awesome time, but as the party died down, she started talking about this "awesome guy" she met, and how she's "never felt a connection like that with someone" and that he promised to be at her party but never showed.
I realized that I know that guy [let's call him Mike]. He's been one of my close friends since freshman year. I had been hanging out with him earlier that day, where he was talking about this other dance he was going to that night, and how he had invited his "fifth choice girl" because "no one else was available to come and she's tootally into me."
He's a fantastic friend but a COMPLETE asshole towards girls, probably the ultimate definition of a player and doesn't seem to understand how much he hurts girls when he leads them on. We've talked about this before and he just doesn't seem to understand how awful this is for the girls. All the girls who know him closely would NEVER date him because of how he is, but he comes off as very charming to people he just knows casually and also gets away with being an asshole because he's (objectively) very good looking.
I know he's not into this girl and I'm wondering if I should save her the trouble and just let her know how he is. It was heartbreaking to watch her worry about this guy who I knew was never even planning on showing up for her 21st.
But I hesitate just because 1. I don't know her very well 2. Maybe she's the one that's going to be different, but from what he's said directly about her, I highly highly doubt it.
===
TL;DR: | close guy friend is an asshole, wondering if I should save a girl I don't know very well the heartbreak that will happen or if it's not my place to do so. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: first date with a hip, folksy, rootsy gal
POST: Hey guys- first post, 22 year-old-male. I'm usually pretty lucky with ladies (no problem dating or what-not) but went through a move and a lifestyle change (new job, very much moving up in the world) and have had trouble meeting people, as is natural I suppose.
I'm a folk musician, and this adorable girl has showed up to every gig of mine, brought her brother/friends, chatted me up, and so on. She got very drunk and gave me a BUNCH of hugs after one, and last time we had some decent (smiling, but not exactly flirting) conversation wherein she revealed she didn't remember feeling up on me. So, my memory of her is fonder (perhaps) than hers is of me.
I got drunk after I played last night (bar-gig, free booze and door money) and she went home. I called her and asked her out, told her she was awesome and adorable (she is) and she said yes. Huzzah, and all.
But now I think I may have jumped the gun. This is a girl with deep roots, lots of friends in town, lots of family here, and (no doubt) a good number of opportunities to meet fellas who want her bones. I think I should've played it cool and waited till we met again, like we keep doing, and tried to get to know her better, you know, all casual and shit. Instead, now, there's pressure on a "date" (wooo, scary) where if it goes poorly I might lock myself out of a really good opportunity to just know this person as a friend. I'm a stranger in a strange land.
So here goes- I'm out of my element, and really like this gal. What would you do if you had little money, no car, no friends, and no knowledge of a place, to romance a girl who has all of those things in abundance? What's a good 'low pressure' yet 'romantic' date where I wont betray that 1) I'm lonely as fuck 2) oh my god I want your butt and 3) if you're not interested please lets be awesome friends?
TL;DR: | Poor, lonely folkie seeks low pressure date for wealthy, family oriented gal who must get asked out all the damn time. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My SO (30M) seems to not think it's important to be here for a surgery that will save our unborn child (25F)
POST: I am having a procedure done to help keep me from miscarrying our baby. My SO works 8 hours away and planned to go on vacation with his buddies. The surgery puts me at high risk for strokes/bleeding out and we've actually discussed what my wishes were in the event something were to happen to me. He offered to come to help out and I said I could probably manage. I assumed he knew he should come--considering this is his child--and that even though I said I could "manage" that he would still be willing to go.
So then he goes and books the flight with his friends.
I was really trying to just be nice and tell him he didn't have to "babysit" me but I thought he would WANT to be there for moral support?? So now this turned into a huge fight and I don't know what to do. Too mad to believe he can even think of enjoying himself while I'm literally putting my life at risk to save his child.
Any advice??
TL;DR: | SO chose to go on vacation with friends rather than be at my side during surgery to save our child just because I mentioned that I could "manage" without him here. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [23/m] my girlfriend [21/f] doesn't want us to share hobbies
POST: My girlfriend recently bought a keyboard so she could practice piano at home. She was playing most of the day with headphones attached and eventually went on her computer and started listening to music. An hour or so later, I asked if I could try playing and went over to stumble through some of her sheet music. She helped me figure out some of the parts, and then went back to her computer. 5 minutes into playing by myself she announced, "it's my turn to play." I protested that I had just started playing, but she said, "it's *my* keyboard."
After a short discussion, she revealed that she didn't want me to start playing piano, because it was *her* hobby. She brought up that I already have a bunch of hobbies that only I enjoy, so she wants something for herself. I've tried to get her interested in some of my hobbies in the past (chess, programming, baking), but she never got all that interested (no big deal, but I would love for her to share my passions). She said that we should find a new hobby we both could enjoy, but every time we try something different, I work really hard to improve and then she loses interest.
It seems like some of her hesitation about me learning piano stems from some combination of her insecurity and my hyper-competitive nature. She's been playing piano for a long time (and is quite talented), but self-admittedly, never really put in as much practice as she would like. I have an obsessive personality, and will spend all my free-time practicing and working on my new hobbies, and it seems as if she's afraid I'll make piano into a competition with her.
On the one hand, I can understand why she wouldn't want me to start playing piano if I drained the fun out of it for her, but that is certainly not my goal, and there is no way I would ever come close to competing with her abilities in the near future.
I'm not entirely sure what advice I'm looking for, but I would love to find something we both can do without making her lose interest. Help!
TL;DR: | my girlfriend doesn't want me to share** ***her*** **hobbies, but I can't seem to find something we both can enjoy.** |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26F] with my bf [28 M] 2 1/2 years, Should i tell him i cheated and break up with him, or just break up?
POST: I (F) cheated on my boyfriend of two and a half years. I feel awful. For the last half of the year, i have been wanting to break up due to not being ready to 'settle down'. I had expressed these concerns multiple times to him and we have always decided to endure and try to maintain it.
2 Months prior to starting this relationship, i had just broken up with my ex whom i had dated for 8 years. Initially my bf and I's companionship was going to be (mutually) just for sex, since we had barely met and not known each other prior, and he was going to transfer out to a university for 2 years. We also understood that being in a serious relationship for me, right after getting out of a long term one might prove detrimental to both parties (due to later resentment of him from both sides).
Anyways, i got very drunk (NEVER is that an excuse) a few nights ago and had sex with an acquaintance. I only see my bf once a week and have sex once-twice that day. I also want to have sex with different people because, prior to my current bf, ive only had sex once in my life.
I have not told him that i cheated on him yet because he is in his last 2 weeks at the university and will be doing finals next week. I DO NOT want to distract him with his fucking awful news to where it will affect the rest of his professional and love life.
He has told me in the past that if i ever cheated on him, hed want me to tell him, but i do not know if i should and break up with him or should i just break up with him? No matter what, i will be breaking up with him because i he DESERVES to be with a woman who will never cheat on him and their are millions of them out there. I am nothing special and i want to give him the opportunity to live a happy, trusting life. I do not deserve to be with him and i understand that.
TL;DR: | Should i tell my bf after finals/graduation that I cheated/want to break up or should i just break up without telling him? |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: (Name that job!) A question for Redditors working in the Techology and Business sectors!
POST: Hey all,
I'd really appreciate your help figuring out the common titles of the position(s) I'm looking for. I have my B.A. and M.A. in more humanities style subjects, but really want to transition into the Technology, Business, and Consulting world(s).
For those of you who currently work in these sectors, what sorts of job titles should I be searching for? I'm searching for an entry level position that will allow me to get my foot in the door and then receive training and climb the ladder. I think I'm well suited towards consulting in particular. My current challenge is just figuring out what these positions are called and what their duties are. The ultimate goal would be to work in the private sector doing at a large company (think Google or something similar, or a large consulting firm).
Any and all help would be much appreciated. Thank you all!
TL;DR: | For those employed in the Technology, Business, or Consulting sectors, what are the job titles of your entry-level employees? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I feel waves of love and resentment towards my lover. Halp me?
POST: So I'm 18 M and my present GF is 20 F. We dated for a year and a half and then broke up 8 months ago. More or less I left her for another person but I swore to myself it was more than that. She was emotionally abusive but it was fairly situational. Anyway, after two weeks with new person, I couldn't stand what I did and wanted nothing more to go back with the person I had originally fell in love with. After that, we dated in the dark somewhat and had both lost our virginities. Things felt right for a while until I started seeing some of the old warning signs of the abuse coming back. She was going through some stress and I was being clingy so it was justifiable how she was acting. So being technically single, I looked around and met some people. I dated 2 other people secretly and hated myself for it. I broke it off with both of them and now I'm back with her happily for the most part.
TL;DR: | of that is that we dated, broke up, got back together kinda, broke up again kinda, got back together. All on my action basically. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [19/M] Confused hookups with ex - what does she want? [19/F]
POST: My ex-girlfriend and I broke up almost a year ago (halfway through our senior year in high school) but stayed in touch through a mutual group of friends. She started dating a new guy almost immediately, and I moved on.
Almost a year later, we're in our fall semester at uni, and we've hooked up three times and she's texting me almost everyday. She told me that she broke up with the other boy, but he cries to her and they're together again. This conversation was after we had casual sex for the second time this semester, so the mood was intimate.
I'm extremely confused by this. I wouldn't mind rekindling, but I told her that I'm indifferent to it happening and to make a good decision for herself.
What I'm asking for, is what is the right thing to do in this situation? I'm an accomplice to cheating, and the one that normally engages our hangouts and casual intimate moments.
TL;DR: | Don't date a girl for a year, she cheats on current boyfriend with me, they break up, get back together, still hooks up with me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: Made a mistake by admitting to boss I was looking for a new job. Now he's sweating me on when I'm going to leave? What do I do next?
POST: Background info: I was made redundant in my last job due to cuts. I knew it was coming and I'd already started looking for another job. Landed the one I'm in now 2 weeks after redundancy and for a lot less money.
I thought I'd give it a go knowing it was an interim thing. Even at the interview, my boss said he could see me there for a year, whipping some of their activity into shape and leaving with a recognisable brand on my CV. Everyone wins.
I'm 6 months in now and the job is very stressful, management is verbally abusive (I'm not exaggerating, he's already made me cry once), the days are long, on top of the pay being very low. It's affecting my marriage and my health.
After a particularly stressful day, my boss asked if I was looking for a new job. About 2 weeks prior, I'd talked to HR in confidence about my notice period as I am still on a 6-month probation (which ends next week). I immediately thought they ran to my boss and told them I was looking to leave. Oops! Cat is outta the bag. That wasn't the case, but that's besides the point. I told him yes, I was.
He was understanding as this company and this job has high turnover. So far, it's been nice looking for work under his nose, walking away from my desk to take calls, asking for time off. But now he's sweating me about when I'm leaving so he can get on the case with interviewing my replacement, even going as far as hinting that he might start the process sooner rather than later, and will just give me notice to leave at his discretion.
By law, I know he can't do that. But I'm worried they'll find another reason to get rid of me before I've found another job. My last job search took about 12 months of on-and-off searching. I'm worried that might be the case here again. How can I get my boss off my back and not be let go or fired on trumped up 'charges'?
TL;DR: | Told my boss I was looking to leave. Now he's sweating me about when that will happen with veiled 'threats' that he may let me go first before I have a chance to leave for another job. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My boyfriend[19M] sometimes gets in a masochistic mood and wants me[18F] to be mean to him but i dont know what to do.
POST: We've been together for about 3 months (and have known each other for over 10 years, he lived down the block from me and we were close), he's a US marine and is currently away for a few months training.
He wants me to be mean to him and I tried and it ended up terrible and awkward and i couldn't stop laughing and had to call my cousin (best friend) and ask her what i should do. I ended up telling him i was laughing and trying really hard but didn't know what i was doing and he was like "yeah you're pretty terrible at this." and when i said i didn't know what to say because i had nothing negative to say about him, he told me to repeat anything shitty his exes have said about him.
I asked him if he wanted me to degrade him or call him names and he said both and for me to figure it out. He's very dominant and i'm not at all, so i'm not used to this. I don't like confrontation and I'm never mean or hostile to anyone.
He's on his way to the gym and told me I better have it figured out by the time he gets back (even when talking about being degraded he's still in control, which personally is something i really like).
I really want to be able to do this for him because I care about him a lot. Since he's away, everything is verbal right now and over texts. I won't physically see him again until October when I fly out to visit him.
TL;DR: | what do i say to be mean/hurtful towards my boyfriend when I've never been mean to him in my life and I'm not a mean person? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [26M] have low self esteem and think no one would be romantically interested in me
POST: I have only been in one relationship ever and that is only the case because my ex-girlfriend was very forward and told me that she was interested in going on a date. When I am interested in a girl I usually think they are just being friendly while talking. Typically in person girls that I am interested in(usually girls I have known for a while but I wouldn't consider a friend) engage me as often as I engage them, but over text or facebook I almost always send the first message, then I feel like I am carrying the conversation so I stop talking to them after a few conversations.
I consider myself to be below average looking, and maybe my self-esteem convinces me that no one would be romantically interested in me.
TL;DR: | Low self-esteem. How do I tell if a girl likes me, or is only talking to me as a friend or to be friendly? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My[F19] girlfriend want a break and I[M19] need help on how to react.
POST: First of all, sorry for my terrible English, I'm doing my best to translate. So here is my situation: we have been together for a little bit then 2 years in a great relationship. Sure we had some up and down but we are able to discuss about it to find a solution.
Except this time, I need some advice. This summer we work a lot and seem to distant from each other gradually. Before college start, it been a week, probably too late, I started to panic about because she dosen't seem to me that she care at all about us. I'm Under the impression she dosen't want me anymore(sexually in that context).
Yesterday, out of the blue for me, she said she was lost, that she wanted to experiment, and space. But she also said that she still love me and aslo want to carry on with us.
We are both lost. I don't want to force anything but I love her has hell. I know that we are Young and being young is the perfect time to experiment. but want I want, is her. I miss her now, a lot, even if I see her each day at school.
I need your input on this one please, I know it is not clear, I'm, but I'm still devastated.
We talk again today, and she said thing are not the same.
Should I let her go, even if I know she is the wowan I want to be with in 30-40 years?
Should I let her try someonelse in hope of her return?
Should I try a blind date with her and a not me?(like the fetish In the top post of this sub [I thinks it is not allowed to cross post])
Let me know why my idea are bullshit, I need your help. Please!
TL;DR: | GF seem to have lose interest in me but said she still love me ,she maybe or maybe not want to stay together. I want her but dosen't know how to react. We are both very lost. Thanks |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My[22F] boyfriend [23m] of 2yrs is coming home after 1yr away.
POST: My boyfriend is coming home after being away for what will be 15 days short of a year in 27 days!!
We have planned a camping trip for his ffirst night home. We will be sleeping under the stars in a remote place alone to have a little fun after our year dry spell. It is going to be great to see him again and simply being together will be great, but I feel like I should have more planned than just laying around. Any ideas? Also I am concerned about it being so long without sex and for the last 30 days no masterbation are we going to be disappointed? (Dumb question I'm sure...)
TL;DR: | after a year apart my boyfriend is coming home and we are going camping for a romantic night under the stars. What else should we do? And what concerns should be considered due to lack of sex in the Past year |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 M] with my date [20 F] two months internet dating depression
POST: I've met this really sweet girl online, but unfortunately we live 2 hours apart. We have a lot in common and I really like her. I think its to early to say I am in love with her though, we have only been on one date.
We both enjoyed the first date and she kissed me, so I thought everything was okay for now
After texting a lot I found out she is going through a depression. I recognize the symptoms, because I went through the same thing last summer.
She is very confused if she like me or not. On good days she flirts with me and on other days she is a bit depressed. She told me she maybe needed some time and was afraid I would be upset is she ends up not liking me. She is so confused :(
I told her she needs to sort things out for herself. I can only help her if she wants to and lets me. I told her she could reach me if she wanted to date me again and I am not upset with her. I gave her some tips how I defeated my depression.
She thought that was very sweet of me. Later that day she is chatting with me again like nothing happened. I kinda wanna be with her or forget her, is that selfish?
Did I do the right thing? Now I am confused :(
TL;DR: | awesome first date and lots in common turns out to be confusion and depressions. I let her go to sort things out... |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [17 M] wants to confess to my best friend [17 F] but don't want to potentially ruin the friendship
POST: I'm sorry if this is the wrong place to post this or if this is too generic or small of a problem to be posted here but I'm not really good with these types of things and neither are my friends. Basically I've developed feelings for my best female friend who I've known for a little over a year and I want to be able to tell her how I feel so that i can get it off my chest while also seeing how she feels about the idea of a relationship; the problem is that I'm a big wuss and I really treasure her as a friend as well and I don't want to lose her completely just to ease my own mind. Neither one of us has ever dated and we get along extremely well and go out to places with each other on a regular basis but other than the occasional flirting I get from her I highly doubt she feels the same way about me as I do about her which is why I'm scared of telling her.
So I just wanted to hear ideas on what I should say to her so she understands that I really do treasure her as a friend and not just as a potential girlfriend or if I should even tell her in the first place and just hope the feelings pass
TL;DR: | I'm a giant wuss who doesn't wanna tell my good female friend how I feel about her without suffering any awkward consequences, what should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20 M] have not had any contact with my dad in 4 years.
POST: I havent spoken to my dad in 4 years as we had a very toxic relationship when i was younger. He was a great dad when i was a kid and things changed after my parents got a divorce. I currently live with my mother but our relationship has been on the decline since she got with her new boyfriend. My dad was a great person but is also very controlling and manipulative. Im not sure if its a good idea to get in contact with him again.
I have plans to move out within 3 months and have just started my first year of university.
TL;DR: | Havent had contact with my father in the last 4 years, not sure if its a good idea to make contact. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: GF dumped me 'cos I am against biking naked for bikers' rights. Is protesting naked even that difference?
POST: Didn't know which subreddit to choose between relationships or here...
I'm 29, gf 30 dating for 19 months.
I'm not american and am from a very religious culture/family. I'm not religious myself and have changed a lot especially since I moved out of my country. My ex is an american girl, a very passionate environmentalist, who doesn't drive by choice and even doesn't have a license.
Yesterday we were biking to the grocery store when the topic came up. I told her I'm not comfortable with her biking naked and I don't wanna hang out with such people (I admit I am not open when it comes to sexuality). She said I shouldn't be hanging out with her then because she would do it. I didn't say anything until a few moments later when she asked me why I was still standing next to her (We were in line to check out then). I left immediately and biked back home. Don't get me wrong. I bike as much as I could and am not against bikers' rights.
My question I guess is if biking naked as a way of protesting is any different than biking with clothes on? I think I'd like to extend my question and ask if it makes any difference in any type of protest if protesters are naked? I know it may convey a meaning, but at the same time, many people may not take it seriously. How many of you would end a relationship for this? We survived so many ups and downs in our relationship and we seemed to be getting along better recently. Also consider in mind that she always claims she's a private person, and honestly, I can't remember when I saw her naked (We had lights off policy).
TL;DR: | GF dumped me 'cos I didn't feel comfortable with her protesting naked. Is naked protesting more effective than clothed protesting? Would you end a relationship if this disagreement comes up? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [16M] am struggling with my anorexic best friend [16F].
POST: Recently, I discovered that my best friend Alice had started restricting her diet. During that time period, we started fighting a lot more than we had before, and we, or at least I, started to not enjoy our time together as much as I once had, if at all. Today, though, she stopped restricting, after I accidentally implied that that was what was causing our near constant fights.
Now that she has stopped, nothing has changed. We are still fighting, and I have realized that I am the cause, much more than she is. Essentially, I can't deal with her not even trying to get better. I just want for her to make some kind of effort, to take down the pictures of the anorexic models (half of whom are dead) that she has on her wall over her bed. I want to continue our friendship, and I want to stop trying to force her to change, but I don't think that I can. The only options that I see are to either end the friendship, which would hurt us both; continue as we are, which would be a more drawn out end to the friendship, but I don't think that the friendship would survive; or just try to not care -- to offer no advice or help where she does not ask for it, to ignore any signs that I may see, and just let her do as she wants, even if that leads to her death.
TL;DR: | I don't know what to do to preserve my friendship with my best friend, when she is unwilling to try to get better from anorexia. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My supposedly best friends [20sM] have been calling me [20M] a cruel nickname for years
POST: I have a small, tight knit group of 4 friends. We've all been hanging out since we were kids. Ever since we were teenagers, we've been smoking weed on Friday nights and just chilling out.
My shady uncle connected me with an incredible weed dealer who gets really good stuff, much better than my friends were getting. It was around this point that my nickname appeared.
My friends started calling me "Mr. Burns". I assumed this was because I had "the power plant", i.e. strong marijuana. But a few days ago I found out that they were calling me Mr. Burns because I look like Mr. Burns.
I'm hurt by this. I've always been self-conscious about going bald so young, although I try to style it out with a dapper horseshoe shape haircut like a much older man might have. I think it makes me look distinguished, but I guess I just look like a cartoon character.
TL;DR: | How can I go on with life knowing that my friends were calling me Mr. Burns not because of my "power plant" but because I resemble him in appearance? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20M] with my girlfriend [19F] a little over 4 months, feel like anxiety is holding me back.
POST: Hey everyone,
I've been with my current girlfriend for a bit over 4 months now, and I think we have a pretty great relationship. We're completely open with each other, and we both care very much about each other and what we have. Recently I've started feeling anxiety in the relationship. I should mention that it started at school, and we live about 2 hours away now for summer and fall. I've always put pressure on myself to do the best I could, and there have been times when I didn't feel like putting in all the effort I could. That scared me, and made me think that maybe my feelings were changing, even though I still wanted to make her as happy as possible, and to continue the great thing we have.
Last weekend I was at her house, and before I left I had a bit of an anxiety attack. I couldn't really tell why it happened, I do know that I was worried about maintaining the relationship we had while apart, even though there's really no danger of anything bad happening. I woke up the next morning, and it seemed like all of a sudden I couldn't even talk to her without feeling anxious. It's starting to get a little better, but I still have a lot of moments when even thinking about her brings back the nervousness. I want to do everything that we normally do, i.e. talk, laugh, see movies, typical relationship stuff, but it feels like something (or myself) is holding me back from really acting on it, and showing her all the love I can.
I know that she'll help me through anything I go through, and will love me for who I am, but for some reason I still worry about doing enough. When I start feeling the anxiety, sometimes I can't tell whether I'm just worrying too much or if my feelings are actually changing. She's someone I can see myself being with for a long time, but it feels like the anxiety is getting in the way. I'm talking to someone tomorrow about it, but I wanted to get some more thoughts on this. Has anyone else experienced something similar? Any thoughts? Thanks for any input!
TL;DR: | Has anyone else felt that they are holding themselves back from giving and accepting love, especially when you are feeling some anxiety in your relationship/life? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21F] with my boyfriend [22M] of a couple of months, I'm nervous about being bad in bed.
POST: So I've known this guy "Mark" for three years now. We met in a club, text on and off and met up on and off for a while. Then April of this year we went on a couple of dates before I went away for the summer. During the summer he messaged me a couple of times a week and told me that he was missing me a lot. I realised that I was missing him too. I've been back almost a month now and we've seen each other every weekend since then. I've met some of his friends and honestly were so much closer than we were when I left. It used to be that when we met up the time was spent full of awkward silences. Now we can talk and I get butterflies from him doing simple things like kissing my hair if we're sat next to each other.
So we've known each other a long time now but I think we both needed to grow up a bit to actually pursue a relationship together. My summer away really helped me mature, I feel, and he is going to graduate in a month and is planning to move out. And that's where my problem is.
When Mark moves out we've both pretty much agreed that that is when well move into a physical relationship. Now I've had sex before but they've all been one night stands that I was drunk for. I also have some... trouble when it comes to arousal and orgasm. Basically I can't without something like a vibrator to help me. And now with the idea of having sex with Mark becoming more of a reality, I'm getting nervous. I don't want him to think that I don't want to be with him, I really do. And I don't want to fake orgasms or anything because that just leads to a life of constant faking to please him.
I just don't know what to do. I want to take the next step with him but I keep feeling nervous and obviously that isn't helping the situation. Any advice is appreciated.
TL;DR: | I have trouble with arousal/orgasming and want my first time with a new boyfriend to be good for me and him, no nervousness involved. |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: I'm 15 years old and I have constant shooting backpain
POST: I'm going to use a throwaway because Reddit likes to discriminate based on age. Well this might end up being long so.. Here it goes.
BACKSTORY:
I'm 15 years old and I have extreme back pain. Nobody can figure out what's wrong with it. It happened last December during a hockey game. I was checked (hit) in the back and basically did a backflip. I landed on my back. Hard. I could barely remain conscious. I couldn't move right for the rest of that month. My parents brought me into the doctor a week after it happened, only because it still wasn't feeling any better. The doctors all assumed it was a muscle strain so they put me in physical therapy and gave me 3 weeks till I was feeling better.
So for the 3 weeks I went to the PT and Chiropractor, doing my daily stretches and taking the muscle relaxers they gave me when the pain was too bad. Eventually it started to feel better, so I started practicing again with my team. It felt good enough to where I tried to go and play in a game. Oh boy was that a mistake. A quarter ways through the game I could hardly stand and had trouble breathing. So there went the rest of my season and it was back to square one.
By the time February rolled around I had a constant numbness/dull pain that wouldn't go away, even with the drugs they were giving me. Around this time we started to hit a slow spot for my father's work and lost our insurance so I had to stop taking the medication and the PT. I also couldn't go in for more doctors visits.
In April we found a new Chiropractor that treated Athletes for free. We went to see him and he said he found something he never has seen before. My back was hallow. The right side (where I injured it) is always stiff as a rock from my shoulder to my lower tailbone. But in a small space between my spine and muscle, about an inch or two wide, you can feel all the way into my back. He thinks either a) My muscle is decaying or b) I have cancer. Both are seriously scary to a 15 year old.
TL;DR: | I hurt my back in a hockey game and I am in intense pain and have been for 8 months. Might be cancer or a decaying muscle but we cannot afford to see a doctor for it anymore. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I (21/M) am beginning to realize that I like the girl I'm with (19/F) way more than she likes me, and I'm not sure what to do about it.
POST: So I (21/m) have been seeing this girl (19/F) for about a month now, but we were friends for a year before we started seeing each other. I asked her tonight what she thought of us and she said, "Idk, I have fun with you" which is great I guess but the problem is I really like her. I want to hang out with her, get to know her, and be together, but so far I've had to put all the effort in.
I plan all our dates, I initiate all the times we have sex, and I'm the only one that opens up at all. I thought opening up would make her do the same, but she just sat there with a confused look and said, "ok" afterward, no other response.
Also she uses her phone often when we hang out. She does a lot for different clubs, jobs, etc so I understand she needs to stay connected with people but tonight I saw her get a text from her ex, which was a bit concerning.
I'm trying to give her the benefit of the doubt, telling myself she just doesn't fall as fast, but it's getting frustrating. I want to be with someone who wants me as bad as I want her and that is definitely not happening here. Any advice on what I should do?
TL;DR: | I like my current girl way more than she likes me. How should I approach discussing this with her/ should I discuss it at all? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskDocs
TITLE: Weird lump on leg near groin (wtf?)
POST: I've had it for about four months now, and while it never caused me too much physical pain, it grew to about the size of a ping pong ball. It's right on that part of the inner thigh that feels like a tendon.
The first doctor I saw said it was an ingrown hair and to treat it with hot compresses, which I did- but that didn't do jack. However, that diagnosis did make me feel confident enough to poke at it and sometimes what looked like pus from a white head would come out.
Flash forward to less than a week ago and I'm finally back home and able to see my normal doc. She thinks it's a cyst or fatty tumor and decides it's small and simple enough for her to slice out herself.
About an hour of incredible pain even though my leg was hyped on lidocaine, she determined that whatever this is is the wrong texture for her initial diagnosis: it's hard, massive, and deeply intertwined with my leg tissue. She referred me to a surgeon who is going to put me under to take it out.
Now I'm recovering from that first "operation" (it hurt like HELL after, I've had stitches before after procedures like this and the pain was incomparable) and waiting to see the new surgeon. While my doctor was able to reduce the size of the mass by about half during that first hellscape visit, it has now doubled in size and feels tight when I bend over.
I'm meeting with the surgeon on Monday, but in the meantime- anyone have any suggestions as to what this is? Right now I've decided it's probably spiders.
TL;DR: | giant, hard ping pong ball size lump on inner thigh near groin that began rapidly growing after laceration with scalpel on a 20 YO female |
SUBREDDIT: r/Dogtraining
TITLE: Tried to teach "walk without stopping to sniff;" did I accidentally teach "Stop and Sniff and you'll get a treat"?
POST: My dog LOVES to sniff and mark on walks--every 10 feet it seems like he's back in the bushes again. Yes, walks can be for sniffing, but there are times when I want him to keep walking without stopping (eg when I am actually trying to go somewhere, or when he wants to sniff/mark something inappropriate). So, I set out to train "let's go," meaning, "stop that sniffing/peeing and keep walking." I thought that I could eventually use this to transition to a default "no sniffing now" heel. Here's what I did:
1) when he started to sniff, pull him gently away and when he looked at me instead of the smell, click and treat.
3) also click and treat when he looked at something like he *wanted* to sniff, but chose to keep walking
4) randomly treat when he was walking in heel position to reinforce the "right" behavior
So, it's now about 80% reliable that I can call him away from sniffing/marking (assuming he doesn't find a dead gopher or something). Next, I started calling him away from all smells on walks, thinking that he would get the idea that "let's go" meant "walk" not "sniff" for the whole walk. But after months of calling him away from every smell on every walk, it seems he wants to sniff just as often as ever.
--Is he now sniffing on purpose to get a treat?
--Is sniffing more rewarding than food (probably) so he'll always want it?
--Is there another way to teach the difference between times it's OK to sniff or not? Can I build on the work I've done in a different way? What can I try next?
TL;DR: | I rewarded my dog for not sniffing/marking on walks but he still tries to do it. How do I get him to heel as a default without constantly calling him away from things? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Did I [22 M] discriminate my ex [19 M] of 1 month by breaking up with her for being polyamorous?
POST: Hey. 3 months ago, I met this girl in my university. Her name is Grace. We have been friends since we met and a month ago we decided to date each other. Everything had being going great - great compatibility in personality and in bed - until a week ago when we broke up.
Ever since I met her she always talked to me about her "being polyamorous." This is something I always found hard to understand because of my conservative upbringing. For the most part, my mind just didn't register it. After we hooked up for the first time, I asked her what kind of relationship we had, and I specifically ask her if we were exclusive. She answered yes. We had a great month afterwards: very caring towards each other, great communication and great chemistry. However, a week ago she started asking me why monogamy was so important for me, and then proceeded to tell me that she couldn't be in a relationship where she couldn't be herself with her polyamory. I answered I wouldn't feel special to someone if they didn't commit to me, and nobody else. This clear incompatibility led us to break up.
At first, I felt really angry and betrayed. Mostly because she first answered "yes" to being monogamous, but then regretted her decision. Then, I felt compassion for her and realized that I placed her between a rock and a hard place. She clearly liked and cared for me a lot and was willing to be monogamous with me. However, she realized she couldn't do it because of being herself. She is still mad at me. I feel upset. I have lost a good friend. I have tried explaining to her that, although I do understand and respect her polyamory, I just can't be in a polyamorous relationship. It doesn't feel right to me. However, at the same time, I feel like I have discriminated her because of who she is. She told me she feels offended and upset, because I failed to accept her for who she is. /r/relationships, am I wrong in not wanting to be with her? Am I a bigot and haven't realized it?
TL;DR: | I don't want a polyamorous relationship with my girlfriend of 1 month but we really like each other. Am I bigot for telling her I don't want to be with her like that? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: [M/21] here. Casual acquaintance [F/19] acts completely different in text vs real life.
POST: Both of us are in college, albeit some years apart. We met kind of randomly on Valentine's day last week (we were both practicing music in the lounge and just kind of started talking). She gave me her number and added me on FB. We took a walk around the park a few days ago and went to go get ice cream - I wanted to pay but she paid for herself before I could say anything, so I don't know if she knows I'm interested her romantically.
I've been texting her about once a day, just simple things like remarking about something I noticed in a TV show she watches or talking about music. She'll usually respond with one-liners but really cheerful one liners, and I'm not sure what to think. Like she won't advance the conversation but her singular text will consist of a few words and a lot of exclamation points and smiley faces.
In person, she's a lot more talkative though and we've met up a few times to do things like play tennis and the aforementioned ice cream. I've never had a relationship before so I don't know how to interpret the fact that she seems okay with me in real life, but only answers in (excited) one-liners during text.
What should my next step be? For that matter, should I be texting her once a day or is that even too much? Maybe once every two days is better?
TL;DR: | Girl is giving mixed signals. Either that, or I'm just clueless at interpreting whatever signals she's giving. Help. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24F] with my BF [29M] of over a year. I'm broke and don't know what to give or do for his birthday.
POST: Hi Reddit,
I truly have an amazing boyfriend. I've been without work for one and a half years, and he has been COMPLETELY supportive of me in every way possible. I now have a part-time job, but I am in debt with a friend (very small amount). Because I'm horrible with money, I just give him my whole paycheck and he puts the rest to savings in an account where I can't touch it. He then decides how much he want's to give me just for the week. My last paycheck, he didn't give anything from it and I was counting on using some of it for a decent present. He's even told me to not give him gifts because he understands. I still want to!!!
What are some other ways I can make him happy or can do instead of a gift?
TL;DR: | I truly have an amazing boyfriend. His birthday is soon and I can't afford a gift. How can I make it up/ give him in return? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me (25F) decided to stop seeing a guy (25M) I've been seeing for a month. But feel conflicted now.
POST: I (25F) have decided to stop seeing this guy (25M) that I have know for a year now, but about a month ago we started having sex and like dating.
Long story short he told me he didn't want a relationship. But he said he still wanted to see me. It's not that I want a relationship either but the fact that he has limited our relationship and like shut the door on everything, I feel hurt. I liked him and really enjoy spending time with him, I didn't start hanging out with him cause I wanted a bf I honestly just enjoyed my self with him and the sex was good too. But now I feel extremely conflicted about things.
I feel like it is best to just not see him again even though this makes me really upset cause I like him and I don't want to not see him again but it just seems better if I don't talk to him again.
TL;DR: | decided to stop talking to a guy I was seeing for a month but knew for a year now. Told me he didn't want a relationship and just feel it is best to stop talking to him now. Feel conflicted though. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Why can't people enjoy the simple things in life anymore?
POST: It feels like many of my friends and family members suddenly feel like the only thing that would make their lives interesting or worth living is if they constantly travel and change professions. I just hate hearing "It's awsome to go for 4 months in asia and meet cool new people and experience new stuff" What the fuck is wrong with the people here? Okay I get the fact that there are amazing places in the world and lots of experiences that go unlived if you just stay home all the time but I don't do that. I travel somewhere every year for a couple of weeks but when I come home I don't feel like my life is shit. I still enjoy going over to a friends place and hanging out in his or hers couch and just talk. So my point is why are people starting to be experience junkies and why is it so hard for them to find enjoyment or purpose of life at "home".
TL;DR: | Sick of people complaining that everything is shit if they aren't on a long trip in some remote part of the world or constantly meeting new people. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [18 F] and my boyfriend's [19 M] relationship of two years is only surviving because of good sex.
POST: Basically my boyfriend and I have had some compatibility issues since the beginning. I feel as if that is normal because no two humans are exactly perfect for eachother in literally every way. However, it has now started causing major issues in our relationship. We both talked and defined the fact that our relationship is almost all sex. Both of us are unhappy with this conclusion. It is degrading on both of us because we will have sex which causes a temporary illusion of happiness for the both of us. Therefore dry spells like my period or vacations tear us to pieces. We're both willing to change but we don't know how to agree using deeper, wholistic levels. We don't want to break up. I love him dearly but I know it's not as much as I could love someone else who fit me better from a personality standpoint. I want to know if it's possible to overcome this and then better the other aspects of our relationship outside the bedroom. Hope this was enough detail!
TL;DR: | My boyfriend and I realized our relationship is almost all sex and this bothers us. We would both like to change and make other parts of our relationship better. How can we move our love outside the bedroom? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22F] feels like my [27m] boyfriend doesnt want or is avoiding introducing me to his parents.
POST: I'm 22 and my boyfriend is 27, we've been dating for 9 months now. I have yet to meet the parents, and it does bother me because I feel like that is an important part about being with some one you care about and love. He has met my parents, siblings, and grandparents, I invited him out to lunch with us and he was completely cool about it. I consider myself a well rounded woman, I support myself, I was brought up in a great family environment and I'm the girl you want to show off to your mom.
I've come to terms and realized that maybe he isn't ready, but what really did it for me was what happened on thsnksgiving. My family went to spend thanksgiving in another state to be with another part of my family. With my work schedule, I couldn't go. I communicated with him that I didn't have plans for thanksgiving. Thanksgiving day rolls around and I still get no invite to go to his parents with him. We stayed at his place the night before so thanksgiving morning we left from his place and headed to my place to hang out till he had to go to his parents. His parents live in the same town I do, and on our way he had to drop off food that he made for the dinner. I thought for sure this was it, this is my opportunity to meet them. We pull up to the house and he tells me "I'll be right back". Takes the food out and doesn't even invite me in. I was hurt . We hung out at my place till he had to go to his parents for dinners.
TL;DR: | boyfriend won't introduce me to his parents. I was family less on thanksgiving had no thanksgiving dinner, and still didn't invite me to have dinner with his parents |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by not paying parking citations.
POST: First semester at my present college and I bought a parking pass. I rarely use my car so it's just here I'm case of emergencies. But two weeks ago my roommate and I went to the store to pick up snacks. It was really late and rainy, and I ended up parking in the wrong lot next toy dorm. This isn't a hard mistake to make because the lots have multiple entrances and are only separated by a thin patch of grass, with no lot postings on the side I drove in through. So I parked the car and went to my room. I haven't used my car since then and haven't checked it in the parking lot. Just got a letter today saying my parking pass got revoked because I had 10 citations. I had to go to the campus PD to pay off all my fines that I had accumulated.
TL;DR: | I didn't pay attention to where I parked, didn't check my car for two weeks, had to pay $500 dollars worth of fines because I made a couple dumb mistakes. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I need advice: I secretly like this girl at work but she already has a boyfriend, its affecting my daily life and I want to forget her.
POST: There is this girl is at my workplace(we're both 20) who I really like and has been for more than a year now. She has a boyfriend though, and has dated & lived with him for 2-3 years. Since I'm a part timer who goes to college and she works full time, I'm not as acquainted with as the other coworkers but we still talk and share laughs. My problem is that I keep having this shred of hope that she would like me and that maybe when things don't work out between her and her boyfriend, I can "go in for the kill". I've been obsessed about her almost everyday now and it's driving me crazy. I've lost sleep, dream about her (nothing sexual) and at one point lost my appetite. I would think about her all the time and wonder what she is doing. It hurts me and crushes my hope whenever I feel that we may have something going on, her boyfriend would come to work and they would kiss and hold hands. There's always this cycle of liking her and talking to her more because I believe that I'll be with her to not talking to her as much at work because I'll never be with her. I'm really at loss here as to what I should do. I'm not sure if we should just be friends because it always gives me this false hope. Please, wisemen (and wisewomen) of Reddit, give me guidance.
TL;DR: | I like this girl at work but she already has a bf and lives with him. It's affected my daily routine. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, what is the stupidest thing you did as a teenager?
POST: When I was about 16, I saw this video on how to make fireballs with cloth, string, and lighter fluid. I gathered my friends Jimmy and Dillon to make some. We had a lot of fun playing with them in Jimmy's backyard by throwing them at each other and holding them because the blue flames at the bottom of the fireballs wouldn't hurt. For some dumb fucking reason, I decided to make a huge ass one the size of a dodgeball. Then I thought of Street Fighter. I took an extra shirt and soaked the front end of it and put it on over the other shirt I had on. We went out in the middle of the street, soaked the humongous cloth ball with lighter fluid and lit it. Dillon then threw it at me and I blew up in flames. During the en-flamed moment, I tried to take off the first layer because hey I thought it was going to be easy. Wrong. It melted to the shirt under it and I panicked. Whilst the whole moment I combusted, a car creeps up. Dillon and Jimmy think it's a cop, runs away while I'm in flames and I'm running around like a little bitch trying to get the shirt off. I get it off. Give shit to my friends on why they left. They replied, "Dood, you set yourself on fire." Here is the video proof.
TL;DR: | Made fireballs. Made a bigger one. Soaked t-shirt with lighter fluid. Had friend throw one at me. They ditched me while on fire because they thought they saw a cop. |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Advice on violation of probation needed for Michigan please.
POST: Well I just got a call saying I am in violation of my probation becasue I was in contact with my ex-girlfriend that I had a no-contact order with. The first time I got in trouble was becasue of an arguement and she mistakenly called the police and I got hit with stalking charge no matter what she told the police and put on probation with HYTA. I know I should have learned my lesson since then but she sweet-talked me into trying our relationship again. Well recently we had a break up and she messages me a month later and I tell her that during the break -up I had been with other girls and she stopped responding. I messaged a quite a bit more times seeing what was going on but she never replied. Then today I got a call saying I was in violation for those messages. I just want to know what could the possible outcomes be for my situation?
TL;DR: | Ex-Gf called cops on me - got arrested and put on probation - contacted her again and am now in violation of probation. What are my chances of getting out of this while still on HYTA |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Help a (20m) out?
POST: Hi everyone!
So my girlfriend of a year and a half and I had a long talk tonight. She is depressed and is miserable in her life but is holding out hope that when we move out of her parents house things Wil lbe better. Which they will. And I'm fine with that due to me moving out here shortly. We had a long talk tonight about future though and how she doesn't see herself as a monogamisti(Sorry for spelling) person and wants to bring in another girl. Normally as a guy that'd be awesome woo. But I don't like the idea of having to compete for another for her love. I never saw myself in this situation and now I'm confused. Do I let things play out and see how she'd change and maybe not want to do that? She is still young so she wants to experiment a lot. (She is 19). She has a low libido so my needs would hopefully be met with another women. But I'm terrified of losing her emotionally to someone else? What should I do?
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TL;DR: | ) girlfriend is depressed. Talked about adding another women to our relationship in the future and not sure how I should handle it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU By breaking my crushes nose
POST: So I just turned 16 yesterday and for my birthday I got a new set of Hurling(A sport somewhat similar to Hockey but the ball is mainly in the air)gear and a new Hurl and sliotar (Hurling ball) I went down to the hurling pitch with my friends and my crush and we all messed around. What basically happened was me trying to act the hard man and I said that I would take it from the 65 line (65 yards from the goal) blindfolded and bet my helmet on it. We shook on it and I wrapped my jumper around my head. Everything went well until I heard a smack and a scream that could of broken glass. I pulled off my jumper and looked to where the scream had come from and it came from my friend and crush (Lets call her Lily) Lily. We sprinted over to her and when we got there blood was running down from her nose and onto her shirt. I'm freaking out now, apologizing like crazy and she's crying and my friends are either pissing themselves laughing or going looking for the sliotar. Her nose was basically pointing in a position it shouldn't have been pointed at. We went back to my house and put some ice on her nose to stop it from bleeding and then it hit me. I began to piss myself laughing, I actually fell onto the floor laughing and when I stopped, Lily got up and kicked me in the balls, called me a jackass and waited for her mam to pick her up. So basically I don't think I'll ever be talking to her again.
TL;DR: | Was a cocky prick, took a free, broke my crushes nose and got a kick in the balls for my birthday. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (26m) girlfriend (21f) doesn't enjoy sex and I have no idea what to do.
POST: I have been with my girlfriend for almost six months. We started having sex about a month into the relationship and I until recently thought we had a pretty good sex life. A little while ago she told me that she had never actually orgasmed. Ever. I was pretty shocked because I thought she came most times we have sex. When I questioned her about it she got visibly uncomfortable and said that she pretended because she didn't want me to feel bad. I see why because I feel terrible now. I asked if she even enjoyed sex and she replied "I think so, its fun I guess."
I have always been pretty confident sexually so this came as a bit of a blow. Thinking back I should have noticed something was up because she doesn't masturbate or let me go down on her. I did try a few times but I eventually gave up because she told me she doesn't enjoy it and was pretty firm about not letting me.
I have had other sexual partners in the past and this has never been an issue. I feel awful now I know she has been having sex with me just to make me happy. I tried bringing it up again a few days later but she didn't want to talk about it.
She comes from a pretty strict religious family and I think maybe she might have been taught that she wasn't supposed to enjoy sex. I don't think there is anything wrong physically, she gets turned on and sometimes initiates things but I think she might be telling herself not to enjoy it. She has always been shy and a lot less confident in herself than she deserves to be. We haven't really talked much about sex in the past because she gets embarrassed really quickly.
I really don't know how to bring this up. I really don't want to have sex without her getting off too. It seems to be a sensitive topic for her and every time I try to approach it she shuts the conversation down.
Advice?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend has never orgasmed and doesn't really enjoy sex. She doesn't like talking about it and I am unsure what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Forgot to ask for girl's number! What do I do?
POST: This is kind of a long story, so I'll try to explain as concisely as I can without rambling on for too long.
So last Wednesday night, I met this awesome girl at a mixer event on campus here at my university. We hit it off pretty well, and we talked for a good 1.5-2 hours. Towards the end of the night, I was about to ask her for her number to ask if she wanted to hang out/ do something with me later, but another guy came up and started to talk to us before I could ask. I didn't want to ask for her number in front of another guy, so I patiently waited and made conversation... and you can see where this went. About 10 minutes afterwards, her ride told her they had to go, and I was left standing there all bummed and stuff.
I went back to my dorm and asked my roommates and good friends what I should do, and while they jokingly looked her up on facebook (I only got a first name, but somehow they found her) they told me I shouldn't contact her and that it would be creepy. I have some mutual friends with her that I actually talk to, but because everyone's advice to this problem was to not do anything, I am worried that it may be too late to contact her and I'll just have to wait to see if I see her again.
Our organizations that mixed last week are having a soccer game with each other next weekend, and I remember she mentioned she was thinking about going. I'm thinking this might be my best bet to run into her again.
I know that I messed up this situation, but I'm pretty new to this whole scene. So reddit, what do you suggest I do?
TL;DR: | I couldn't ask a girl for her number, and it's been a few days. Should I try to contact her through mutual friends or wait until I potentially see her again next week? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Should I do something about this?
POST: Recently, school started up again. I already had to have my schedule changed due to my mandatory mathematics class being full for the semester I wanted to take it. That meant that I can't take the chemistry class I wanted to take, so I have to take a watered-down version of chemistry/physics that I originally planned to skip.
After meeting with the guidance counselor, I still had one period missing, but the only class that was available to my level and that was open was a class called "Music Appreciation."
I never wanted to take Music Appreciation in the first place. It's a very easy class, but I'm not the type to take easy classes. However, it's one of the few classes available to me at my level, so I basically had no choice.
After a day of taking it, I already hate it. Actually, I don't hate it. I'm *bored*. I know pretty much everything touched in the class, having already taken band. The professor is horrible (though, I guess I shouldn't complain. she's new, after all). I don't *want* to sit and listen to music for two hours. I want to actually learn something.
So my question is: should I do something? Should I go talk to my guidance counselor and see if I have other classes available? I really want a harder class, but at the same time the classes I wanted are full.
TL;DR: | Useful classes that I want to take are full, have to take a class where I just sit for two hours and listen to music, don't know what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 F] with my crush [21 F] new, bisexual female crushing on childhood bisexual female friend?
POST: I'm falling for this girl who I was friends with in middle school. In high school we grew apart but now we've been following each other on twitter for awhile. Occasional DMing.
I'm openly bi, and she seemed less than 100% straight but I wasn't totally sure until tonight. I posted this great medium piece about biphobia and the orlando tragedy.
She responded with "PREACH IT" and then DM'd me about how guys assume because she's bi she just wants a threesome and how gay girls don't take her seriously. I feel the same way and mentioned that I don't take myself seriously because of the biphobia I've internalized.
We have a lot in common. We both like makeup, we're both interested in science and pursuing degrees, we were middle school friends, and apparently we're both bi. We also have the same MBTI type (INTP).
She's ridiculously pretty and I don't want to screw anything up by assuming that she's thinking the same thing that I am, but it seems obvious that we have a lot in common.
I find myself imagining how attractive of a couple we'd be and thinking about finding that comfort with her in a romantic way.
We could be friends, but why shouldn't I try for more?
I'm nervous because a few years ago I had a really close female friend who I was in love with and everything turned out really badly.
In retrospect, I could've communicated better and it probably would've helped if I hadn't shacked up with this guy just to avoid being alone.
But now that I'm no longer in high school and more sure of myself, it's a different situation (and a different person). I just worry that I'll ruin a wonderful friendship.
TL;DR: | How can I tell if she wants to be friends or something more? Can I let my feelings grow or should I squash them? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 F] and my [22 M] boyfriend are moving to different countries for an undefined period of time. What's the best way to break up?
POST: We have been together for a year, friends for longer, and now we are moving to different countries due to university. He is going into academia, meaning he will still be studying for a few years, and probably won't be able to choose where to live for a long time (at least not without making quite a lot of sacrifices). I am moving to start another degree, and I'm generally not too sure of where my life is headed yet. It most probably won't be academia, which will make is harder to live in the same city. Basically, for his dream job he need to live in a big city, and for mine (probably) in some rural area of the country.
Basically, we are moving away from each other for an undetermined amount of time. If we were to remain together, and if the relationship was to work out, we could probably move back in 3-4 years, but only if we make sacrifices.
We have two options: End it before we move away, or try to make it work, knowing it most probably will end anyway.
My question is, assuming we knew for certain the long distance thing wasn't gonna work, what's the least painful way to break up? Doing it now makes more sense rationally, but there's this annoying thing called love making it difficult. How it is to break up "just" for practical reasons? Waiting until it naturally ends can mean we either drift apart, or we find someone else (which would probably be nasty for one of us). That seems easier to accept, despite there being the possibility of it being nasty.
I know it's a decision only we can make, but I feel it'd help to hear some thoughts/experiences.
TL;DR: | Is the best way of ending a long distance relationship to let it end "naturally" or to end it before it starts? |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: How to: - Investing in myself.
POST: I am a professional artist, musician specifically, with a new second revenue stream not specifically associated with my musical endeavors. I would like to use this revenue, in part, to amplify my creative pursuits by covering equipment purchases, operating capital and project costs. At the moment all of my income is earned as an independent contractor/sole proprietor, music and the secondary revenue. It all goes in a bank account and I determine expenses at tax time and do as appropriate. This secondary revenue is going to change to Employment income shortly and I am looking to get my finances in order, keeping the employment money separate from music money while showing on both bottom lines that some of the employment money was invested in the pursuits of the music business.
I realize I may be using the term 'invest' generically here as I don't intend this to be something which engages the SEC too heavily, if at all.
TL;DR: | I want to support a local artist, which happens to be me, with financial contributions and show that on my personal taxes as well as their business balance sheets . |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18F], apparently cheated on my boyfriend [16 M] of 2 years
POST: We were together for 2 years but then last October, I broke up with him because I couldn't stand the restrictions he placed on me and his hot tempered attitude. He was devastated and as really affected by it.
Following that, i started ignoring him but then realised that i still loved him and cared for him, so i decided to continue talking to him with getting back together in my mind, but not so soon.
In december, i made out with a guy friend at a party ( I dont have feelings for this guy and vice versa) and this was kept a secret from my ex till 2 days ago.
Meanwhile, from dec to Feb, my ex and i went out only 4 times and we didnt really text much.
When he found out, he was ok with it but gradually as he thought about it he became furious and said i cheated on him. **Technically, we have broken up but he said it wasnt fair to him as he still loved me.**
Now, he wants to cut off everything with me and according to him, he hates me to the core.
Now i dont know what to do. i feel really hurt and i want him back.
And i really hope he wont cut me off from his life because now i really wish we could be tgt again. It seems so bleak.
I just texted him and he agreed to meet me at his block downstairs tonight. What can i do or say that will help make everything good again? Please help me. I dont want to lose him.
TL;DR: | I kissed another guy and my ex who still has feelings for me gets mad and hates me and now doesn't want anything to do with me. |
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