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SUBREDDIT: r/dogs
TITLE: [HELP] need advice on getting my dog fixed
POST: Hi i have a big dog mixed Boxer/Lab he is going to be 2 next month. He is friendly but has really really high energy. He loves to wrestle other dogs and run around off leash his favorite things to do.
My concern is if he is fixed he will lose his energy and become a "pansy"
But he does have some issues
He sometimes gets into barking match with other dogs that are not fixed goes both ways 90% of the time and it's pretty much instantly once they meet. Mostly Pit bulls and GSD
Sometimes he has way with puppies and wrestles them, he acts likes he's a little puppy and ends up man handling poor little puppies NOT fighting just to aggressive
Sometimes get too aggressive playing with older dogs or smaller dogs
Also I don't think he likes German Shepherds a lot of times he goes right after them.
We love him at home he will protect the home I believe.
He barks at strangers until I let him know they are cool. And once barked like a ravage animal at two huskies that sneaked into the back yard thorough the door.
He's always greet us with a very friendly welcome goes crazy a little bit in a good way we get back from work.
With most little dogs he will approach and leave them alone if they don't want to play or bark at him.
He loves getting the little dogs to chase and bark at him.
Sometimes he will try to get other dogs riled up to play with him or chase him, or he will just meet them, smell and leave them alone when they are calm confident/mature dogs
Can anyone tell what you think getting my dog fixed will solve. Or let me know how it has turned out for your dog at around the same age almost 2, or later
TL;DR: | afraid if I get my dog fixed he will lose his personality and confidence, and he may still get into it with other unaltered dogs (doesn't always happen) can you share your experiences please |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: I feel like a piece of shit ...
POST: I've been having issues with a girl at work. She's been messing things up, and last night she made a rather stupid decision and called someone who was off-duty and woke them up to ask them a question she should have known the answer to.
In frustration after cleaning up multiple mistakes made by her I mentioned the situation to my supervisor - who, apparently, got really pissed off and sent a nasty email to the girl.
The girl gets to work tonight, gets the nasty email and starts crying and tells the other girl she works with that she didn't call someone who was off-duty - she called someone {with the same name as the off-duty person} at another location to ask them the question.
I feel like absolute shit and I owe her an apology, and I just need to keep my mouth shut again.
TL;DR: | I got fed up with a girl at work. Told my supervisor, supervisor wrote mean email, girl at work didn't actually do anything wrong and is now crying. I'm a shithead. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How can I [20M] separate myself from a sketchy friend [30sM]? (Part II)
POST: A couple days ago I wrote [this post] about witnessing my sketchy friend getting beaten up. The event convinced me it was time to finally separate myself from him before something else happens.
In my original post I asked how I should go about cutting him off. The consensus was that because we work together and will still have to see each other, I should slowly phase him out. This seemed like good advice but now I'm not sure that it's the best option.
The incident was unexpectedly traumatic for me. I've been having trouble sleeping the past couple nights because the event keeps playing over and over in my head. After that, I'll start thinking about all the other shit I've had to deal with in my life and won't be able to stop my rushing thoughts. I feel like I'm going crazy.
Because of this, I feel that I need to cut ties with my friend *now.* He's always been nice to me and tried to keep me out of his crazy shit so I have no fear of him retaliating as someone suggested in my last post. My only concern is that I don't want to come off as an asshole and hurt his feelings. I know, however, that I need to do this for myself regardless of how it may affect him.
I think I'm going to send him a text message along these lines:
>[His name]:
I feel shitty writing this because you've always been kind to me but in light of recent events I don't think I can hang out with you anymore. I know you never meant to get me involved but what happened the other night really freaked me out and I'd like to avoid getting into similar situations. I'm really sorry to do this to you but I hope you'll understand that it's what I need to do for my own well-being.
Please take care,
[My name]
Does this seem OK? Is there anything I can change or add to soften the blow? Any help would be appreciated.
TL;DR: | Having trouble coping with seeing a friend (who I shouldn't have been hanging out with in the first place) get beat up and need to separate myself from him ASAP. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25F] with my BF [25 M] 1.5yr(s), how do I approach him about moving in together?
POST: My BF and I have been together over a year and things are going really well. We've had some fights here and there about medium and little things but overall I feel secure with him. He's kind and level-headed, he listens and straight talks me when I need it and...I dunno he genuinely understands where my head is at most of the time. He's the first person I've ever been able to envision a future with--kids, house, dogs, all that awesome shit.
So, we both live at home and hate it. Our families are great in their way but when you hit 25 it starts to feel like "shit or get off the pot". He wants to move out, I want to move out. We both know this and my BF has had a string of people say they would move in with him but weren't all that serious which has been incredibly frustrating for him.
I, however, am very serious about moving out and then in together. The reason I never brought it up until now (well, thinking about bringing it up now) was that I wasn't making much money and couldn't support myself. I was not yet where I want to be as far as having a cushion to fall back on ICE after I put down first, last, and security but I just got a little savings boost (student refund, tbh) that puts me at exactly where I need to be to contribute to a household.
How exactly do I bring this up with him? I am known for making things way more awkward than they need to be. And it's not that I think the conversation will go horribly, knowing my BF even if he doesn't think it's a good idea he will explain why and do his best to make sure I'm not hurt (but let's be honest no one deals with rejection well). I am just really nervous my approach will turn him off of the idea or I'll say something that makes it seem like I don't want to move in with *him* just move out. Does that make sense? Pls help.
TL;DR: | I want to talk to my boyfriend about moving in with each other but I don't know how to approach it or what to say. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I [f35] have to leave my husband [m36] but I'm afraid he will die.
POST: I've been married to him for 14 years. He has suffered from major depression and anger management issues all that time. When we first got together I had my own issues too, but since then I've solved a lot of my inner turmoil and am trying to move forward into a better life. He has not solved any of his issues, and I can't cope with his problems any more.
For example, he extremely overreacts to EVERYTHING. I cannot bring any problems to him because he gets so irrationally upset that I have to focus on him and his emotions instead of the actual problem. I hide any possibly negative feelings from him because if I expressed them I couldn't cope with his overreaction. I feel like I don't have a partner in life because I always have to protect him from things that will make him feel bad, leaving me feeling drained and used up from having to deal with everything on my own.
I'd actually realized that I need to leave him last summer, but then his brother (who has extremely similar emotional issues) killed himself when his wife cheated on him and left him, and he was in such a fragile state that I thought he would kill himself too, so I stayed. But I am just as miserable as I was then and have gotten depressed myself from having to stay in this relationship.
I don't know how to extract myself from this relationship without something terrible happening to him. I need help.
TL;DR: | husband has severe emotional issues and I have to get out of the relationship for my own mental health, but I don't know how. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Possibly the answer to the War on Drugs: 'Weed'Killer ?
POST: **Not a discussion about the use of drugs. No opinions on drug use please.**
Hello, just throwing this out there, want some of your thoughts on the topic. So here is the scenario:
As far as I know, from the videos, pictures and documentaries I have seen. Some of the high end and desired illegal drugs are grown on large scales in certain countries, in open fields, such as marijuana and cocaine.
So if governments are trying to stop the cartels who run these fields from operating and selling drugs, why not destroy the fields... First I thought napalm would be a good idea, then I realised that collateral damage would be a downside.
But then it hit me, why not engineer a chemical that acts like weedkiller but affects the drug crops?
This seems too simple for governments not to have thought of it so am I missing something? The ethical problems would be no different from crop dusting used by industrial farms, and the scientific problems would only be to develop a chemical that only stops the drug from growing and isn't harmful to people/animals/other plants. Which shouldn't be harder than developing normal weed killer?
So does anyone know how to and how hard it would be synthesise a chemical that kills or destroys the drug crops? and why this hasn't been done already?
TL;DR: | Why haven't we synthesised a chemical that we can spray onto drug crops via crop dusters to kill the crops? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I am [40f] with my 20 year old son and 21 year old sister.
POST: I am a 24 year old college student. Female.
I have been in an 10 year "relationship" (only official when we went to college and got our own apartment) with my step brother Kyle. He's 25.
We started messing around in high school. We never told anyone, though I think my step dad might have some suspicions. Since I chose to forgo my 1st choice university to go to the one Kyle chose. It worked out for the best because I ended up switching majors when I learned nursing was boring as fuck to me. I have a teaching degree.
Kyle and I love the town. We have been sharing an apartment since we graduated HS and our parents are always asking if we are "dating" (other people, not each other) or if we are going to come home for the holidays.
I have lied about dating before just to throw her off. We do. But it is always super awkward because they want to ask us all these personal questions and I want to be honest.
It is not like we were raised from small kids together. Kyle still sees his mom, who knows and has never told his dad. I don't know my bio dad. Our parents married 12 years ago. So we were pretty much no longer children by this point. So, I always just viewed him as the cute guy down the hall. And it happened.
I am very much in love with him and he said he wants to propose. I have agreed. I want to be with him, in the open. I am just not sure how to tell my mom and step dad about this.
TL;DR: | I have been messing around with my step brother for the last 10 years. We started dating 3 years ago, live together, and want to get married. Not sure how to tell my people. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, what is the best prank you've ever played?
POST: Mine would have to be this: I was out of vacation with my parents and a friend (I am female, my friend is male by the way), one morning we got up and were heading out to go sightseeing. Well, my friend decided he would hop in the shower first. The day before he decided to prank me (I don't remember exactly what he did, this was a few years ago) and I thought this was the perfect time to get him back. I downloaded a ringtone on my phone that sounded like a fire alarm. I placed my phone under the bathroom door and used my parents phone to call it.
"The fuck is that?!" -him
"Fire alarm! C'mon, lets go" -me
"I'm in the middle of a shower!" -him
"We will just meet you outside! See ya!" -my troll dad
So after that little conversation, I open the door, and close it, pretending we left. My parents and I are sitting on the bed, listening to my friend talk to himself, "The fuck is going on? I can't believe they left me! Fuck I better get out, but I'm shampooing, FUCK". We are cracking up so hard, its nearly impossible to keep quiet. Then we hear banging in the bathroom and my friend runs out, he put on his clothes while he was in there and they were soaked, not to mention he still had shampoo in his hair. Best. Prank. Ever.
Btw, he thought it was the funniest thing ever... after the fact
TL;DR: | Scared the hell out of my friend who was in the shower by playing a ringtone that sounded like a fire alarm |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My bf (25m) and I (18f) aren't sexually compatible. Only been together for 3 months. Is our relationship even worth fighting for?
POST: My boyfriend, for the most part, is wonderful. We have a whole lot in common, our moral and values are on par, he makes laugh so hard my stomach hurts and he just takes care of me.
But the sex is awful!!! We are constantly fighting after we have sex, wether it be because he can't be bothered making me come or he can't come from having sex (which happens too often). Sometimes he doesn't want to have sex at all! He says that I have higher expectations of sex than he does and that I want it more frequently but I never had this issue with my ex. Regardless of what happens, I'm always left sad and insecure.
I've brought up these issues to him previously, numerous times, and at first he took it quite well and keen to fix the issues but now he just gets angry which only escalates the problem. I figured he's embarrassed as well as just over me going off at him over the same thing.
We first thought the problems stemmed from the fact that he hadn't had sex for about 9 months and was very used to masturbating. So I asked him to stop for a bit which he did for about 1-2 weeks and it helped a lot. Then he started masturbating again and sex was fine for the few couple times but then it got shit again. I brought up the masturbating issue and he's adamant that it's not that.
I don't know how to talk to him about it. I know I can't go on with the sex being like this because it is very important to me. I freaking love my sex!
Should I suggest we go see a therapist? Am I putting too much effort into this? Is it my fault?
TL;DR: | Sex is shit. Always fighting afterwards. Have tried talking to him but there's been no progress. Should I suggest we see a therapist or just end things? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by listening to my friend's advice and asking a girl out
POST: Obligatory this didn't happen today (do we even have to write that anymore?) This actually took place 2 years ago
Here's the story. 2 summers ago, I was in camp and really hit it off with a girl. We were hanging out a lot, walking together on all the hikes etc. Then after a hike one day one of my guy friends is like so when are you going to ask her out? Up until then the thought hadn't really crossed my mind and I was fine being friends with her. After some nudging and him telling me that she's definitely into me I I decided to take his advice. She was really cute and sweet and nice and stuff so why not? One night at a night activity I get the courage to tell her that I'd like to speak with her privately. At this point I was super impressed with myself that I even had the courage to do that so I'm all excited and proud of myself. A few minutes later we both walked off to the side to be in private. Here's where the f up happens. I didnt actually plan out what I was actually gonna say to her and I thought my brain would come through. It didn't. My brain goes into complete panic shutdown mode like its a computer installing updates or something and the only thing coming out of my mouth right now is the word okay. I keep on trying to calm down but im just saying okay over and over again. She's really confused and is kinda laughing and saying okay herself and then I'm like never mind and we both stand up and leave. Thanks a lot brain for creating one of the most awkward moments of my life.
Today, were still pretty good friends and the whole okay thing is still an inside joke we have between ourselves but I've never asked her out.
TL;DR: | Instead of asking a girl out, my brain shutdown and I repeatedly said okay and no other words came out of my mouth. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 F] with my FWB [24 M] 4 months on/off, I don't know how to get over the fact that he has a lot of girl-friends.
POST: So I have been dating/sleeping with this guy for a couple of months now. For now it hasn't been anything serious at all, just casual sex/hanging out. And the reason for that has been because I haven't pursued him much. I don't really pay him much attention and ignore him a lot because of the fact that he seems like the type of guy that has a lot of girls that he talks to (seems like a player) and that's not the type of guy that I like to pursue anything serious with.
However, the other day he threw a large house party with all his friends and invited me as his date. There were a lot of girls paying him attention but he was paying them no attention and etc.
So at this point I want to pursue something more serious and see where it goes. But I still can't get over the fact of his personality. I've never dated a guy like this that has a lot of friends/girls chasing him and I don't know how I can get over that fact.
TL;DR: | sleeping with a guy that seems like a player but he's shown me otherwise. Do you guys have any tips/advice on how I can get over the fact that he always has girls chasing him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU because what goes on tour doesn't stay on tour.
POST: So this happened back in Easter. It was our U16s Rugby Tour and we where went overseas to Bordeaux (France for you dum-dums) So living in the UK with an 18 drinking policy i wasn't overly used to alcohol, but it was tour and when in Rome (or France) So i got lightly tipsy on a few nights over the week. Other members of the team where in worse states, and they where used to it.
So the last night of the tour rolled around and seeing as this was the last time a lot of us where going to see each other ever, (in the UK U16s marks the end of the Junior Rugby and a lot of people drop off) i proceeded to down what was the equivalent to 4 1/2 pints of french lager, not much but for me it was. Some blurry moments passed most seemed enjoyable, until the coach back to the hotel where i stood up and screamed to the heavens that i was in love with a girl in my school (nameless although anyone who knows could recognize this story ) so i wake up to discover that half of my squad recorded the event and had already put it on Facebook (in our private group so limited the effect, slightly)
So now i have several videos of me doing drunk maths (proud of because it was decent stuff) and announcing to a girl who i had regarded as a decent friend that i was completely and utterly in love with her (sober me still not sure on the degree of said affections)
Naturally things are very awkward now although i think she has mostly forgiven me for it.
TL;DR: | got drunk and announced to the world i (Facebook) that i loved a girl i had considered a friend, commence awkwardness |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [21F] concerned my best friend [20F] is bulimic. I've also agreed to go on vacation with her for a week at her cabin. How do I handle this gracefully?
POST: Hi, guys. On mobile, sorry if there's bad formatting. Yeah, a bit of backstory would be good to start.
My friend 'Lilah' and I have been close friends since kindergarten. In a way we're both the sister that the other never had. We lived a few blocks from each other and hung out a lot. Even when we went to different high schools we spent time together. Now that we're adults we hang out less often but sometimes binge watch TV shows together.
Lilah has had a really rough time lately. She lives with her alcoholic mother, unable to get a job due to an injury from a car accident which medically disabled her. On top of that her long-distance boyfriend of 4 years ditched her by posting on Skype chat one night. (Believe me if he lived nearby I would've risked assault charges to slap him. It was so disrespectful.) This was a couple months ago.
The last time Lilah and I went out to eat, a few weeks ago , Lilah told me how proud she was she'd lost ten pounds. I asked her if she'd started exercising. Long story short, she confessed she was bingeing and purging on a semi-regular basis. I made her promise to only eat as much as she could handle that meal without going to vomit. She agreed. (mini success) I told her that while I loved her as a person, I hated what she was doing to herself.
Some time has passed since then. Lilah and I made plans to stay at Lilah's cabin at the lake for a week. I'm happy to see her and to have the excuse to get away. But, I'm concerned her habits won't have changed. Lilah gets addicted to things easily - I've seen it before. I'll leave it at that.
How do I deal with this situation? I don't know how to bring up the subject in conversation without seeming rude. What do I do if at some point I come across her trying to make herself purge? I've never dealt with this before.
TL;DR: | Best friend showed signs of bulimia when I last saw her. How do I act around someone who might be bulimic so that we can still have a good time on vacation? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [20/f] my boyfriend (24/m) cheated - do i forgive?
POST: i found out tonight via an anon message that my boyfriend cheated on me. when i asked him about it, he initially tried to deny it but then admitted that 6 months ago (we've been together since october 2011) he kissed a mutual friend. apparently he took her home after a night out, got semi-naked in bed with her and they kissed passionately for a while and then fell asleep.
the actual cheating occurred a while ago but i can't believe he didn't tell me in the last 6 months - in that time we have moved in together, spent christmas with my family etc. is it possible to forgive him? i feel so betrayed, not only that it happened but that he tried to lie about it. he says he just put it out of his mind, it never happened again and we'd been through so much he didn't want more issues to be created.
has anyone here forgiven a cheating partner? is it less bad because he was drunk and it wasn't full sex? should i hate the mutual friend for not telling me herself at any point? i really love this man and have planned to spend my life with him... i only found out a few hours ago and have no idea what to do. if we try to stay together, will i be able to forgive him in time?
TL;DR: | my boyfriend cheated (just kissing in bed, not sex) with a mutual friend 6 months ago. i only just found out. please share your experiences not/forgiving your cheating partners. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (36f) nonsexual relationship roommate (29f) and I are having a fight that makes me feel like she thinks I'm her girlfriend.
POST: We've been friends for 15 years with very few bumps along the way. Recently, she went on birth control that (in my opinion) makes her a raging bitch. We have had several tiffs and one serious fight since she went on the pill. That fight was resolved and I told her that I think her pill is effecting her ability to function. She acknowledged when she was on her sugar pill but is back on the actives now and (again, my opinion) seems to have lost her perspective.
The meat of the fight: I agreed, under duress, to attend a scholarship dinner with her because she didn't want to go alone. The dinner interfered with my work schedule but I agreed to make it work. Sometime between me agreeing and the actual day, I managed to get the time mixed up and by the time she texted asking if I was still coming, it was too late for me to do so. I apologized, via text, with the explanation that I thought the event was later (I was still at work). She responded that I "suck at listening". This may well be true but I have been working long hours and was doing this event as a favor. I fully intended to go, just got the time mixed up. I admit, if it was something I had been excited to do, I probably would have remembered. But in this case, work was a higher priority and it honestly slipped my mind.
Now, I've apologized twice and even admitted (when confronted) that "if it was something I got something out of, I would have remembered". I fucked up. She is accusing me of being self involved and is hiding in her room as punishment for missing the event. The only conversation we've had was when I caught her in the kitchen and told her I felt like she was avoiding me. Although the conversation was calm, I am feeling resentful that I have been super understanding as she has gone through heavy load as she applies for grad school and would appreciate a little understanding that I am working 50-60 hours weeks against deadline throughout this month. When you add the fact that she is extra touchy and emotional due to birth control, I feel like I'm a dude with a pregnant girlfriend!
TL;DR: | My best friend/roommate of 15 years is acting like I'm mistreating her when I made a simple mistake. I blame it on the birth control but she is unapproachable. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: So a couple years ago I had a super scary sleep deprivation experience (saw things, heard demonic voices, more of that below). So my question is your worst sleep deprivation story reddit?
POST: Here is what happened to me.
I was crunching for finals week in school, had to study for 4 finals, write 3 papers, and do some finishing work with 3 extra-curricular commitments. Essentially a shit load in 3 days.
So I ended up not sleeping for 60 hours straight while in panic work mode with 1 decent meal and more caffinated drinks than I should have been doing on an empty stomach. Finally I absolutely needed to sleep or I would not be able to do anything at all.
That is when things got really weird. I laid down to try and sleep and I started hear voices in my head (atleast I think they were voices, it sounded more like glaciers on a mountain cracking and shifting), so this deep rumbling voice in my head is telling me how terrible things are and how angry I should be and how I should hate everything. The walls in my room started turning a pulsing red and and seemed to shift in color as the voices talked. It scared the shit out of me or it would have had I had any to expel. Well after an hour of what was probably hell. I got up and pushed for another long day. When I went to finally get a full nights rest I didn't have anymore of this happen.
So now my question is for you. What have you had happen that is crazy when you were severely sleep deprived? I never thought of 60 hours as that much deprivation so someone here must have something crazier!
Also I do not in anyway endorse or recommend sleep deprivation! I hope I never have to experience what I did that night again.
TL;DR: | I didn't sleep for 60 hours. Heard demons in my head, saw the walls change color. What has happened to you while sleep deprived? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My boyfriend [24m], honestly, kinda sucks at presents, how do I [22f] quell the disappointment I've been feeling with each successive present?
POST: We've been dating for about a year and a half and there's no short way to explain this so a few examples:
1. For Christmas, he wasn't particularly sure what to get me so I pointed him in the direction of a style of jewelry that I particularly liked (and was sure he could discern at least a few pieces that I might enjoy). Christmas rolls around and he has, sentimentally, picked a piece that is great - in theory. Unfortunately he has forgotten that I can't wear silver jewelry, which is what the piece is made of.
2. For our anniversary, I had really loved this set of miniature stuffed animals but there was one that I wasn't particularly fond of. Which is the one he got. I feel as though I had communicated that to him but he's not the greatest at subtle hints (which I guess is why I did what I did on Christmas).
Ultimately, it comes down to the fact that I feel like when he purchases presents, he tends to purchase them by thinking about what he would like versus what I might actually enjoy. And I know that presents really aren't a huge deal in the grand scheme of things since many boys are clueless but I wish that he'd give as much forethought to them as I usually do.
And I know this makes me seem absurdly materialistic but I've started becoming apprehensive about upcoming present holidays because I don't want for him to be upset about me being disappointed, but I can't help being disappointed.
Obviously the solution is to stop being disappointed but I don't know how. Probably because I love present giving and giving useful/well-received things, whereas his presents are sitting in boxes in my room.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend gets terrible presents, girlfriend feels disappointed about them because it seems like he doesn't get it, even when given unsubtle hints. How to be less disappointed? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My boyfriends [19M] ex best friend [18F] has pretty much told me [19F] what my boyfriend has said about me and I can't get it out of my head!
POST: So me and my boyfriend (Mike) have been going out for about 2 years now. We've had a few troubles one of these being his former friend (Caitlin). She crossed the line a few times and the friendship was ended (I'd like to add that this was a year ago and was my boyfriends decision, she upset me a few times and yeah you get the picture).
So we're currently at different Universitys and living in diferent towns but met up on Saturday to hang out with some of our friends from our hometown. Late in the evening one of my friend shows me messages sent from Caitlin and it's basically stuff that Mike has said about me. It's pretty personal stuff, but also hurtful. It talks about how I'm never there for him when he needs me, lack of sex since we've gone to different places and well stuff like that. I was upset but I'm not an unreasonable person and the stuff he had told her was all said while they were close friends. I've talked about similar things with a close friend of mine.
Now it's been a few days and we haven't seen each other since but have texted and phoned. I'm not mad at him because he's done nothing wrong but I'm feeling very paranoid now, I'm scared of what I say and do because I feel like it's what he complained about to Caitlin. I'm being incredibly stupid but it's just stuck in my head and constantly playing on repeat.
TL;DR: | My boyfriend said some stuff about me, I've heard it, I'm not mad but it's all stuck in my head now. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [26m] and confused by my wife's [24f] sexuality.
POST: This is a throw away.
I really could use some advice from both men and women on this. While the issue is complicated, I will try to keep this write up as concise as possible.
My wife and I have been friends for almost 5 years now, dating for 2 and married for 6 months.
On average, we have sex about 3 times/week.
Generally speaking, when my wife is naked in front of me -- as she gets out of the shower, changes, etc -- if I don't have an almost immediate erection or if I am not all over her, she starts complaining about how I don't find her attractive and how I should want to f*ck her every chance I get. The problem now -- and this might sound crazy -- is that I simply no longer look forward to such moments. Her expectations that I should be all over her every time she is naked have frankly ruined the experience for me, and now all I can think of is "Uh oh... She is going to be pissed if I don't immediately have a boner." Therefore, while we do still have a decent sex life, a positive feedback loop seems to be at work: the more she complains about me not having an immediate erection, the less turned on I get; the less turned on I get, the more she complains.
What can I do to make her feel better about things? I have tried explaining to her that the scrutinization of my reactions to her being naked has only further hurt the situation but she still continues to get upset by it.
Ugh. She scrutinizes every part of our sex life and puts it under all magnifying glass. Nothing feels organic anymore and I now feel like my reactions to her sexually are completely contrived.
WHAT CAN I/WE DO ABOUT THIS?
TL;DR: | My wife ALWAYS gets upset when I don't get an immediate erection when she is naked in front of me and her scrutiny is only further hindering my ability to do so. What can I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Taking time away from my (23f) bf (23m) to heal
POST: My bf (23m) and I (23f) have been together for about a year and a half. Last night we had a deep talk and he basically told me that he wants to change himself and our relationship for the better. He wrote me a really sweet long letter and it was genuine, he's never done that before. Right after I told him that I wanted to take time apart to know ourselves and to gain back the respect we lost for each other. We had gotten to a point where we spent too much time together and had no respect , we had terrible fights. I def want to fix things and he told me he would do anything to be with me.
I told him that I wanted to not talk or see each other until Valentine's Day and maybe talk on the 13th so we know where to meet. He didn't exactly seemed thrilled about doing it but I told him I needed time and he agreed. Today he hasn't attempted to talk to me at all just like we agreed. Half of me is scared he isn't going to be there when we get back which I know In that case he's prob not right if he can't stick around for 9 days. Do you think it's immature to handle things this way? I want to treat him right and missing him and enjoying myself for a week or so is the only thing I can think of to help the situation. I'm hoping he misses me and comes back knowing exactly what he wants (even if he realizes I'm not the one). I'm scared but I think a healthy relationship with him is worth risking everything for bc I do love him. Have you ever been through anything like this before? Thoughts?
TL;DR: | I told my bf I needed some space to heal our relationship and focus on me so we can come back stronger. We plan to talk on feb 13, what do you think about this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Canadian Immigration Law / Canadian Labour Law - On what grounds could my employer terminate me?
POST: Hopefully someone can give me a hand.
I am originally from the US living and working in Canada. I have been employed by the same employer for 4 years, but am currently working on a closed work permit (employer, position, salary and term).
There have been some changes on the management on top of me, and my spidey sense tells me I might be forced out. My problem is, if I am terminated, I cannot legally work for any other company in Canada until a new permit comes through (3-6 months).
In my application for my permit, my old boss signed a letter stating that they would employ me at x position for y salary for a term of one calender year. I still have 8 months remaining.
If they were to terminate me without a reason (99% of company employees are 'at-will') would they have to pay out the remainder of my work permit/contract? To clarify, on top of the letter to the HRSDC no other contract in place.
On what grounds could they legally terminate me? When could I push back? I have no problem getting a lawyer involved when the time is right, just that all I have spoken to will not offer a consult without a retainer and a min. billing period.
TL;DR: | Company sent government a letter saying they would employ me for a year, they might change their mind, no performance reasons to legitimately fire me, can I sue for the remainder of my work permit? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Friend(M17) began ignoring me(F18) without explanation, and suddenly wants me to call him, argument ensues.
POST: As the title read. He was at some point my best friend but suddenly ignored me for months. (I'll call him C) Two days ago, C messages me on Facebook and asks me to call him. I'm a very busy person, my three siblings have been in my care for the majority of almost two years due to my mother trying to finish nursing school. I had been busting my ass to ensure that everything was going smoothly. Cleaning, cooking, getting kids off to school, homework and so on. Haven't had much free time until recently when she graduated. And the free time I do have, I'd like to spend with my boyfriend(19).
During the time that C had been ignoring me, his step mother messages me on Facebook, she explain that C had gotten too "emotionally attached" and was angry that I was with my boyfriend. (I'll call him J) J and C have only ever met once and the tension in the room when this occurred was now completely clear.
Back to C messaging me, I told him that I would when I had the chance. He messages me the day of my mother's graduation with "Guess youre too busy as usual, you don't have to call, its good. Just dont act confused. It's obvious I'm being blown off. Again." I was so off put and so angry that I didn't know what to say. He then goes on about how I've been blowing him off and saying I can't hang out but he sees me post things out of the blue. I'm busy a lot but I'll leave Reddit and Facebook open to keep myself from stressing out, I'll sit down for a few minutes and back to what I was doing. But sometimes, I like to be alone and this just seems over bearing and outrageous. I suppose it's my fault for feeling like I was sparing him when I say "I'm busy", when I really just don't want to hang out.
I want to fix this, he's a great friend, I just need to know what I should do. What should I say? Or if I should even try to redeem this friendship.
TL;DR: | Friend ignores me completely until two days ago, gets mad that I don't have enough time for him. Makes me feel like a crappy friend, so I kidnap his cat. |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: I could use some help with my calorie intake..
POST: Hey guys! Awesome sub here! I just signed up for the most recent 12 week challenge as I am looking to drop a good bit of weight over the next few months!
Anyway - I've been watching what I eat and cutting out snacks wherever possible. There used to be a LOT of snacking, some of my meals would e replaced with large snacks..
However, every resource I use be it loseit.com, livestrong iPhone app or fitness trainers at my local gym tell me that I should be eating near to 2500 calories per day with my current exercise routine. The problem I seem to have is that with trying to cut down I can't really get over about 1500, give or take 100 on either side. I feel like I'm cheating if I eat anything to help "bulk it out"
My question really is, should I worry about the extra?
Thanks in advance!
TL;DR: | I'm worried that I'm not eating enough (-1000 calories from my 'recommended' intake) & feel like I'm cheating if I eat any more.. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21] confused if i am in the wrong for saying that my boyfriend [28] of 3 years has destroyed my trust by not pulling out early.
POST: Me and my boyfriend have been together for over 3 yrs and live together for 2. I have used contraception for 3yrs now and recently went from implant to pills. My boyfriend is aware that i do not like taking contraception for several reasons (e.g constant bleeding etc). Anyway i will get to the point. I have recently went to visit my home country for 4 days only as i was going to a wedding and i decided that i will not take my pills for them days as i want to give my body a rest and i was planning to come off them anyway.
So forward to yesterday i come back from the airport late and when i get home me and my boyfriend get in a heat of a moment and before we go any further i inform him that i have not taken my contraception for the last 5 days and he should pull out (not a biggy as we have been dating for long time and we dont have condoms as i said i have been on contraception for as long as i can remember). So anyway we do whatever and the next thing..... he comes but i dont know if he realise and quickly pulls out, but he comes inside me. I get upset for my obvious reasons and tell him that it was a trust thing that i obviously thought he would be more responsible (he knows i do not want kids as i am in my last year of university).
So now.... im confused i tried to talk to him and tell him that is a trust thing for me and im upset and he is getting angry and telling me that it was also my responsibility to protect myself and says i should have taken contraception. I get upset and tell him that since we been together he didnt have to worry about any of this as i have been on contraception and it is unfair and this only moment the very first time he cannot be responsible and uses that he was in a moment as an excuse.
Even if i did get pregnant it is not the end of the world i just feel like he doesnt understand my point of view and doesnt see that he is in the wrong. Or am i? Opinions please
TL;DR: | i didnt take contraception, informed my boyfriend and when we had sex he did not pull out and now i dont trust him to be serious about it, but he blames me. Am i in the wrong? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I [25M] let my ex [20F] go?
POST: I was with her for a year. Ended due to outside circumstances and a difference in investment. It's been about 11 weeks since I broke it off with her. I haven't spoken with her in 10 days. Trying to keep that trend going.
I think about her less. The pain is less severe. It's mostly just sadness now. I'm dating around, but I can still feel this immense sense of guilt when I'm with a girl because my ex is always in the back of my mind.
I don't want to let her go. She was so important to me. And perspective is a bitch because I realize that I was less important to her, which is why I broke up with her in the first place. I fucking miss her and want her back in my life. It just hits me every time I realize that she's gone. And then she'll appear in my dreams here and there.
I loved this girl with all of my heart. I don't know how I put that away. I know it just takes time, but when do you actually feel like you're ready to let go? How do I cope with the idea that maybe it was easier for her and she's already forgotten about me?
TL;DR: | still sad about my ex. Making progress, but I don't want to let her go. When do you know that you're ready? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: She [25F] invited me [28M] up to her room on the first date. We ended up just playing video games and then I went home. Did I mess up by not making a move?
POST: I've been out of the dating scene for quite some time, and am shy when it comes to making the first move beyond "just friends".
I met a cute girl and she was very receptive to my flirtatious texts. We went out and the date was going great, with no awkward pauses or lulls in the conversation. I walked her back to her place, and as I hesitated at the doorway, she said "You can come up if you promise to not say anything about my messy room".
Wow, I thought to myself, she must really be into me. A girl inviting a guy up is code for physical displays of affection, right? At least that's what I've heard!
So we get up to her room and she asks me if I want to play video games. Great, that's a good way to ease into sitting next to each other and relaxing the mood, I thought. I tried to look for opportune moments to get closer and more cuddly, but none ever came.
An hour and a half later we get tired of the game, she notices how late it has gotten and says "well, I'll walk you out". No physical affection to be shown.
I know reddit doesn't have all the answers, but what do we think about this situation?
1. Did she want (expect) me to make a move?
2. Did I mess up by not being more assertive?
3. Will she give up on me thinking I'm not interested?
4. Or is she simply not into me as much as I thought?
TL;DR: | She asked me up to her room, which I thought was code for romantic stuff. Nothing outside of friend-realm happened, and I'm wondering if I missed a cue to act. Anyone care to theorize? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [M20] seeking advice about the aftermath of the date I just had with [F22].
POST: Hi all,
I'm trying to figure out what I should be thinking right now.
So I had a great date with a girl, let's call her Sam.
We had dinner at a place we both like, and then since the weather got better we walked to a park that was about 1.5 miles away.
The whole time conversation is flowing almost effortlessly except for one tiny hiccup during dinner.
After walking back on base she invited me up to her barracks room (we are both military), she said 'I can show you my room, no one should be there'.
I'm not one to sleep with on the first date and my head is swirling at that time.
Turns out her roommate was there and we ended up talking for a half hour.
After chatting with her roommate and her I decide it's time for me to go.
Sam says 'I'll walk you down'.
Then I fucking HUG her at the end instead of KISSING her (because the body language wasn't there imho), and now I'm questioning if I fucked up.
TL;DR: | went on an awesome 3.5 hour date that I think we both enjoyed alot, but I didn't get a text back in 2 days. Does she like me and did I screw up? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20 M] think I might be having feelings for my friend [30 F], and I'm not sure what to do.
POST: Six months ago I got into contact again with an old friend of mine and we've been talking ever since then. I saw her a few times, but since I've come home from college I've been hanging out with her just about every weekend.
I am getting to this point where I think about her all the time. Honestly, she is just my favorite person in the world. Funny, pretty, great personality, he whole shebang. We have loads in common and talk all the time. Walking around the forest preserves around here just talking has been the highlight of my summer, by far.
I just worry that if I try to make a move that she will react negatively to it and I'll lose the friendship I have now. You know the whole "*I don't want to lose you as a friend*" thing? Yeah.
My inexperience with this sort of thing is just paralyzing me. I invited her to go see *The Fault In Our Stars* this weekend with me, but it's not really a date. At least, I don't think so.
The other issue on my mind is our age difference. After reading some stuff on here about it it sounds like it won't be a huge issue, and if we existed in a vacuum I wouldn't care. It's just going to be odd when I introduce her as my girlfriend and people inevitably go ***really***.
Also, I should note that she used to be my teacher when I was in high school, so we have this other prior relationship. It's not especially relevant since it's been almost three years, and she doesn't teach anymore, but it's worth mentioning.
TL;DR: | I think I'm falling for a somewhat older friend of mine and I don't know how/if to tell her for fear of losing the best friend I have. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm(32M) invited to a christmas dinner with my soon to be brother in law. Not sure what to expect, and a little nervous.
POST: This is mostly a happy story. But I'd still like some advice.
Earlier this year A wanted to ask my sister to marry him. He was apparently a traditionalist because he wanted to first get our father's permission. But since both our parents are dead I was the person to ask for this permission.
A's a good guy and he and my sis are quite in love, and I don't think it's actually my right to refuse, since it's ultimately their business and not mine I gave my permission. This made A very happy. And I gotta admit it was really funny to see him squirm so nervously.
Anyway, recently I was invited to enjoy christmas dinner with him, his family as well as my sister, her daughter and her former husband.
This isn't about the ex being there. That's not a problem at all.
The thing that's got me nervous is that I'm dutch, he's from northern Ireland and my sister told me that a christmas dinner there is a Very Big Thing. With presents and family and all sorts of things.
And frankly, I don't know what's going to be expected of me during that time. I asked and apparently I wasn't to bring any gifts which makes me feel rather akward. And I know it's a big thing for my sister and for A and his family as well and I don't know how I should behave at a party like that. What kind of things are going to be expected and such.
And to top it off, they're intending to spoil me.
TL;DR: | I'm invited to a christmas dinner. I don't know the customs and I don't want to embarass myself or my sister in regards to her fiancee's family. Help? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (20 M) gf (20 F) got really drunk and woke up with a guy in her bed
POST: My girlfriend started a new job (working in a bar) a few weeks ago.
A girl from her work was having a house party and the other night and everyone who worked at the bar was invited. My girlfriend is friends with a couple of people from her work but a lot of them she doesn't know very well.
She told me that at the start of the night she was fine but ending up getting really, really drunk.
She remembers walking home to her house with 3 people (2 girls and 1 guy) from the party that she doesn't know very well and then she can't remember anything else.
She also mentioned she remembers the guy trying to kiss her.
The next morning, she woke up and the guy was in bed with her (the other two were in the kitchen).
She rang me soon after and told me about what happened and was extremely apologetic. She said the guy was trying to take advantage of her and that she feels awful that she has no idea what happened.
I went mad on the phone and told her to ask everyone at her house what happened to her and her "friends" at the party. I didn't fully believe her at the start but I've known her for years and do trust her.
The guy messaged her back saying that he was sorry and that he thinks he might have tried to kiss her but they definitely didn't have sex (I don't exactly trust what this guy says though) and said that she passed out on her bed.
I don't know what to do. Breaking up with her is an option, but if we were to stick together I was thinking of asking her to quit her job (because her work friends didn't stop any of this happening and don't seem like nice people at all).
TL;DR: | girlfriend went to a house party with friends from work, ending up getting completely shitfaced and woke up with a guy in her bed who she says was taking advantage of her |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do you all address your in-laws? Is my situation (24F) unusual?
POST: My husband (25M) and I have been together for 6 years. We got married a year ago. For what it's worth, we live pretty far away from both sets of in-laws and only see them a couple times a year (usually holidays). We're in Indiana, my parents are in North Carolina, and his are in Missouri.
Ever since my husband and I were dating I've called his parents "Mr. and Mrs. Lastname". This hasn't changed. My friends find it odd that I call them this, but to be honest they've never asked me to call them anything else. I think it's because I don't know them very well, but part of me wonders if it'll always be like this.
My husband tends to not use names when addressing people. I don't think he's ever called my parents anything, and he admits he wouldn't know how to address them.
TL;DR: | Is this weird? Should I bring it up or is it normal that my in-laws are still "Mr. and Mrs. Lastname" after 6 years and a wedding? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: how severe does a tooth infection have to be to move to the brain and cause a problem?
POST: excuse my wording...probably the reason i've had trouble finding a good answer on extensive google searching. but i always hear the rumors/hopefully exaggerated stories and urban legends about a tooth infection moving to the brain with no signs and the victim dying suddenly. well the point of this is i have a tooth infection and no money to go get antibiotics or anything for a while. the pain goes away and comes back. last night i couldnt sleep all night because of it but all day today the pain hasnt been bad. lately my jaw and occasionally what feels like tissue below the skin but above my cheek bone hurting..i feel like it may just be my mind playing tricks on me because i'm paranoid. i havent had chronic swelling yet. anyway anyone with experience on this know how long this can take? or if its even true?
TL;DR: | definitely have a tooth infection. no money for antibiotics. heard it goes to your brain and kills you..true? if so how long? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [17 M] friend is in a complicated situation living in a toxic house he owns with no parents
POST: Let's begin with some background information about my friend, "Kurt". Kurt is currently 17, and has an 18 year old sister "Natalia" (relevant later) a younger sister and an older sister [19].
When Kurt was around 15 his parents broke up. He bounced between living with his father and his sisters and mother, without a real place to call home. When Kurt was 16 his father died suddenly from a heart attack, this hit him really hard and complicated his living arrangements. He didn't want to live with his mother, and his not-so-nice sister Natalia so his girlfriend and her family were kind enough to allow Kurt to live in their house. This worked, and Kurt got on well with his girlfriend's family, better than he got on with her. A few months later the relationship between Kurt and his girlfriend weakened and they broke up. He still lived his his now ex-girlfriend's family for a few months after the break up, which only soured the remainder of their relationship. This is now where things get complicated.
Kurt, Natalia and their mother bought a house. They all legally own this house, although K cannot technically do anything with the house because he is underage. Kurt, his sister Natalia and a roommate of Natalia live in this new house, his mother and younger sister live about 10km away.
The house is used as the 'party house' by O and all of her friends. They smoke, do drugs, party all night loudly and have no respect for the house or Kurt and make no attempt to keep the house clean. It is mentally and physically a toxic environment for him to be living in. Kurt most of the time shuts himself into his room, attempting to distance himself from the almost constant party. I'm personally unsure how bad this house is to live in, I haven't been there however a common friend has and didn't speak fondly of it. Kurt has almost finished secondary school and will be at the house more regularly.
Kurt has had a few rough years, and his living conditions aren't helping, what can he do?
TL;DR: | Friend has had a rough few years and is currently stuck living in a house that he co-owns that is toxic to his physical and mental health |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [29/F] bored in the healthiest relationship I've ever had with boyfriend of 6 months [33/m]
POST: I've been with this guy. for about 6 months now. We dated for about a month before he asked to be exclusive. Things were going great initially, as most budding romances do, but lately I'm wondering if my feelings have been fleeting. He's been wonderful to me, and we get along great, but I don't seem to feel a spark.
I feel conflicted, this is probably the best relationship I've been in in terms of it being the healthiest (my last relationship was an abusive relationship ending in my arrest when I defended myself against him). All of my previous relationships were involved with guys that were addicted (drinking, smoking weed, etc) or cheating. My current boyfriend doesn't drink, smoke, and has never cheated.
Part of me is wondering if I'm bored because I don't have the 'excitement' of being in a terrible relationship. Lately I've been thinking about all of the things that I don't like about him, but I'm wondering if that may be symptomatic of the fact that I'm bored. I mean, am I just bored with this particular man or is it possible to have a healthy, honest relationship with a man that I feel passion for at the same time?
Honestly I don't know if I'm being selfish and I should break up with him so he can find someone that feels just as strongly about him as he does with me, or if I should take a look at the relationship with a new perspective. I don't know if love and passion grow over time but if I have become turned off 6 months in I'm wondering if I should end things.
TL;DR: | Currently in the healthiest relationship I've ever been in after a string of very toxic relationships, but I feel bored and hyper-focused on reasons why we should break up. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: She (22f) has a boyfriend but I think may have feelings for me (22m). How do I go about talking to her?
POST: Hey everyone, I'm going to meet and visit a friend I met here on Reddit in Australia for the first time really soon. I feel like I kind of admire her in a way, but she is in a relationship and I respect her boundaries (basically I'm ok with just going to have fun in a foreign country with a friend).
I'm worried though because of some of the stuff she asks. She still wants to fall asleep on skype together, doesn't care what her bf thinks of me visiting, wants me to come with a beard, etc. She's even flashed me before a while back while single.
I know this isn't 100% indicative, but I honestly think she has feelings for me but is deterred by the long distance thing (I am too, plus she openly told me that she just can't stand not being alone/single which is why she is with her current FWB turned boyfriend).
If we really seem to click when I am there, I feel like I need to say something if I develop real feelings before she goes ahead and insists on visiting me in a few months like she wants to (it would be a lot of money for a trip that would make me upset).
I'm thinking to just try to get a feel for if she really likes him or just needs a guy in her life. Then maybe mention how I really like spending time with her, but I just don't know if I can do another visit. Any advice?
TL;DR: | Girl that lives far away is in relationship, but I think I'd be the guy she would want to be with if I lived closer. I'm visiting her and idk what to say if things get any bit intimate. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Furniture Rental People Calling Me Constantly, because I was put down as a "reference". What Can I Do?
POST: Hey guys. Apparently someone put me down as a "reference" for rental furniture from Aaron's. I am getting calls from these people EVERY. OTHER. DAY. about where are they, etc. I don't know where they are, nor do I care at this point. I never signed anything saying I was a co-signer, or that I agreed to be held responsible.
So this morning, when they called me for the umpteenth time, I told them that they needed to stop calling me. They guy went broken record on me, repeating himself over and over rather than acknowledging I was telling him to stop calling. I asked repeatedly if he understood that I was telling him to stop calling and he wouldn't answer me. I don't know where these people are, I have no way to reach them, and I have had it with creditor-like phone calls over a debt that is not..fucking...mine. I would gladly either strangle both of them or hand over a phone number, but since that isn't able to happen at the moment, I will have to settle for another option.
If I send a certified letter requesting that they stop calling me and I don't want to be a "reference" anymore, will that work? What can I do?
TL;DR: | Ripoff rental furniture place keeps hounding me since I am a "reference". I am sick of the calls. How do I make them stop. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [19F] My Boyfriend [19M] Broke Up With Me For Something That Happened Long Time Ago
POST: About two months into our relationship I cheated, I slept with another guy but there were no feelings involved and it was a one time thing. It ate away at me throughout our entire relationship and I've always felt guilty about it. Now we've been together for nearly a year and a half, and I finally told him because I couldn't deal with the guilt anymore and I knew it would always be in the back of my mind. I told him I needed to speak to him about something that happened a long time ago, I got him to promise he wouldn't break up with me over it, but he did break up with me right after I told him, and I've been trying to text and call him but he's ignoring me and I don't know how I can get him to stay with me. I feel like it's kind of a slap in the face that after a year and a half of being together he's going to leave me over something that happened so early into out relationship. I really don't want to break up.
TL;DR: | I just came clean to my boyfriend about cheating on him early on in out relationship, he broke up with me. I don't want to break up, but now he's ignoring me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [18/f] Flirtatious boyfriend (19/m) has me worrying.
POST: We've been together for a few months now, and this is my first real relationship. He has always been a flirtatious person. Him being flirtatious isn't the problem - it's the fact that the girls he talks to think he's attracted to them and he doesn't know how to interact in other ways. I've talked to him about this, and he realizes that he can't really do much about it except show me that he's faithful.
My main problem is that he hangs out with a girl that he expressed attraction for before we were dating. This girl finds him attractive, is single, and only wants to hang out with him alone. I'm also not sure that she knows that he has a girlfriend. I don't know if I have the right to be upset by this relationship he has with her, or if it's completely silly. I'd also like to add that, when he asked me to check his text that he expected to be from his mom, I read the text that was actually from her that asked something along the lines of "were you going to kiss me last night on the rocks by the river?" I didn't tell him I read it, only that it wasn't a text from his mom, so I'm not sure I should even bring it up. Plus, I feel really guilty reading it, even though he asked me to check what it was.
TL;DR: | My boyfriend hangs out with a girl he used to be attracted to, and she thinks he wants to kiss her. What to do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Just got out of a 4 year relationship. Found out I'm pregnant. Can the father terminate his parental rights?
POST: I am a senior in college, recently split from my long term boyfriend, and just found out I am pregnant. My ex-boyfriend and I had a pregnancy scare last year and he pushed very hard for an abortion. Then he basically told me that I had to either put it up for adoption or abort it. He didn't want his life to be ruined this early with a child.
He is very immature and is more concerned with partying and trying to hook up with my friends. That is why we ended the relationship. He wants nothing to do with a child and will most certainly try and push for an abortion or adoption again.
He has expressed many times that he does not want to end up like his father who had a child right after college. He doesn't want to be tied down, financially or emotionally.
I do not want to have an abortion, or give it up. I want to know if he can terminate his parental rights before the baby is born. If he doesn't want anything to do with the child, than I don't want him in our lives. I obviously would make sure that he had a choice in the matter and wouldn't just take away his rights. We are also from two different states and both states have slightly different laws. Which state would take precedence in the matter?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend and I broke up. Found out I'm pregnant. He wants nothing to do with children, will try and force me into an abortion or adoption. Can he terminate his parental rights so we both can get what we want? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Wife sent nude pics. Should I forgive her?
POST: I've thought for a few months that something was going on with my wife. We've been together for 10 years and married for 6 years. I found some questionable info a week ago and she confessed that she had been talking online and texting some asshole she works with. I checked the phone records and found out she'd sent him a few pics and received one from him (which I assumed were nudes and she confirmed unwittingly).
I told her that I wanted her to delete him from her FB friends list and she lied and told me she had. She didn't think I knew who he was. I called her on the lie and she did delete him and sent him a text telling him I knew and that it was done.
She claims that the reason they never got physical is because she felt bad about doing this to me. (also claimed that he felt guilty as well...whatever)
Their exchanges were in mid-October and once the beginning of December.
I love this girl with all my heart, but I don't know if I can ever trust her again. I've never let a day go by without telling and showing her I love her. She has never been ignored or mistreated and in absolutely no way have I ever been abusive. She says it's got nothing to do with me.
I'm honestly afraid to be alone. I don't feel very good about myself, especially since I've gained a bunch of weight since I was younger. She claims that she wants to stay and work it out. I'm wondering if I'd be so forgiving if I had more self esteem.
TL;DR: | Wife sent nude pics to other man. I'm afraid I'm just forgiving her out of fear of being alone at 31. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: BF (31) of 3 1/2 years doesn't want to "try", but doesn't want to break up?
POST: my bf (he's 31) of almost 4 years is going through a super rough time and I have no idea how to deal with it. (I'm 35) He took himself off of anti-anxiety/anti-depressants cold turkey about 3 months ago. Since then, things have gone off the deep end as far as our relationship. He's not interested in anything (including having sex), has huge mood swings and angry outbursts all the time. I've tried to help (I've had my problems too), I got us into counseling, I try to be really cool about things, but nothing is helping. Last week he started in with "I don't wanna try anymore" ,and after a week of him telling me to leave him because he sucks, I told him if he didn't want to try anymore we should just make a clean break. He flipped out and said he didn't want to break up. Everything was fine for a few days, and now he's saying I should find someone better. I'm really confused.
TL;DR: | Long term BF went off meds, has giant mood swings, tries to push me away by telling me I can do better, when I try to leave, he says he doesn't want to break up? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Friend situation. Story inside.
POST: BTW I'm a guy.
So I have this friend who I've been friends with for years. We told each other everything like little kids do. We normally talk on a nightly basis, but it was kind of a waste of my time. She's the type of person who sees the glass half empty. So like I said, we talked nightly over FaceTime, but it was more like StareattheclothesinmyclosetwhileIcomplainTime. She is most definitely not the nicest person to me. She would publicly insult me, then give me a fake "oh I'm sorry!" then do it again two minutes later. She seemed like she didn't really want to talk, even though it was her who normally started the FaceTime. She thinks of me like a friend, but treats my like I'm her bitch (best way to say it, honestly.) I'm incredibly nice to her but it seems like she doesn't really care what I say. I'm not sure what I should do, but the one thing I've been considering is dropping her as a friend completely.
TL;DR: | really good friend treats me terribly and I want to stop being friends but I'm not sure if that's the best idea. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How can I ever trust again? 20 F
POST: It has been a few weeks since I (20 F) broke up with my 24 year old boyfriend of two years. He has been cheating on me with so many different girls that I lost count. I would find condom wrappers and texts from other women telling him "I love you". He stated that he only wanted me and didnt want me to leave because he planned his life with me.
I have been cheated on by every man in my past relationships. I have finally realized that it is not me that is the problem. I have constant anxiety now and depression and feel like I will live a lonely life because I have lost the ability to trust people.
How do I cope with this? Anything I have tried just doesn't work. How do I get beyond this and learn to trust other people?
TL;DR: | Gave boyfriend numerous chances after cheating on me. He continued to cheat and now I have trust issues and want advice on how to get past this so that I can open up to others again. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Co-worker and I are putting our 2 week notice in at the same time. This was not planned. How should we approach it?
POST: Both of us have been disgruntled for the past couple of years so this really was inevitable. However, it is quite ironic that it is happening at the exact same time for both of us. Basically, we are the only two people in our department, so there will be no one to cover the job once we are gone.
The funny thing is that our boss pretty much deserves this since he has screwed us both over on various occasions. But like I said I am not trying to make this end badly.
How should be approach this scenario? I've thought about the old tag team method but I don't think that gives the right impression. Another fun bonus is this is that I was going to quit a few months ago and they counter offered me, but I didn't get the raise and was told it was denied by upper management.
TL;DR: | co-worker and I need to put in our 2 weeks tomorrow and I am curious to as how we should go about this to not make it look planned or anything like that. |
SUBREDDIT: r/cats
TITLE: Why it's important to keep a level head...
POST: So, last week my cat started throwing up everything that she was eating. We came home one day, and there was about five different piles of throw up covering our room. We fed her again that night, and once again she threw up. Some thing the next morning. That morning, we found that she had actually thrown up blood, and that's when we decided to take her to the vet.
Well, the vet took her temperature, felt around, and said that there was no indication that she was sick. He gave her a shot of anti-acid and send some stomach medicine home with us and said to monitor her for issues. Well, that night, she threw up again. Then she went to use the litter box and nothing came out except a big glob of blood. I kinda loose it because my cat experience has taught me that this means there is a blockage, which means surgery, which means a lot of money that I don't really have. However, it's our cat, so I'll spend what I can to help her.
Next morning, we bring her back for xrays. X-rays showed nothing. The vet called us in and said that the next step was blood work, although her was a little puzzled. She still had no fever, she was extremely active. He said that if we had not told him about the symptoms, he would have given her a clean bill of health. Well, we got the blood work, and the next day the results showed nothing.
Well, it's been a week since then, and she is still throwing up. However, if we monitor her intake of food, she can keep it down. This morning however, I just realized that Indigo Moon: Solid Gold, the food we used, changed there recipe, and we started feeding her the new bag around the same time as getting the food. Now we are going to try a new food and see if that helps...
TL;DR: | Cat got violently ill, spent $400 on tests that showed nothing. Realized that the food we were feeding her switched ingredients and that's most likely the cause. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: The guy [25M] I [24F] have been dating for about two months texts much less than in the beginning, but continues to ask out
POST: So I met this guy online and after some weeks of very frequent contact we decided to meet. It was obvious from very beginning that we were into each other and we scheduled for another date, then another. In between dates, he would text me very often, multiple times every day and share everything, from what he was wearing and eating to what he was going to do next. Also, the texts were VERY flirtatious with kissing-faces and so on.
So it went on for about three weeks. After that the frequency has been steadily going down and now it comes a text once a day, sometimes every other day. Rather plain, no emojis.And he usually takes time to respond.
So one would think he has lost all his interest, right? Although, he keeps asking me out and we are out on a date every week, 90% on his initiative. We have really good time together and he keeps saying that he likes spending time with me and he has also admitted that he is only dating me.
So what is up with the low texting frequency? I do not want to appear as needy, but I would really like to ask him about it, is it a good idea though? I mean, if he is still interested and wants to keep on dating, why not keep on texting as well? It really confuses me! I am more interested in texting with him frequently now than in the beginning, as we know each other better and somtimes I want to share something I actually think he might like to know, but since it is obvious he is not that interested in texting as much I don't do it, so I do not appear needy/desperate...
TL;DR: | The guy I have been dating a couple of months, started off by sending a lot of texts, but it has now decreased dramatically. He still wants to keep dating though, what is going on? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My(21F) ex boyfriend (21M)keeps texting me. I have no interest in going out with him again. I think I may have been a bit mean.
POST: I broke up with my ex in May and I keep getting texts from him. He is a lovely guy but I just wasn't in love with him.
He was incredibly hurt by the break up and understandably was angry at me. It got quite heated and he told me I wouldn't have anyone if we broke up.
He started calling me once a week for a catch up. At first it was just a friendly "what have you been up to?" kind of thing. We always had a very close friendship so I was happy to chat for a bit.
Then our catch up would always take a turn he would mention things we did sexually or imply things. I would tell him that was inappropriate and we will not ever be like that again. It got to the point where I said it would be best not to phone each other for a while.
He respected my wishes about the calling then starts texting me again ( about a month ago). I reply (I realise this is partly my fault) because I don't want to be rude we were together for two years.
After talking it through with friends I think I might have been causing more harm than good. I sent him this message: Look I am not comfortable with us talking. I don't think its healthy for you to continue talking to me. We broke up and us talking is just going to hurt you. I wish you the best but I think no contact is the best for now.
Is this the right thing to do?
TL;DR: | Ex boyfriend keeps messaging me. I feel uncomfortable told him not to talk to me. I am not sure if I handled it well. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How do I stop my girlfriend from being so clingy?
POST: So, lately, it's been ridiculous. She's gone on vacation up to San Antonio multiple times and I live in Austin, Texas. She's up there so often because of family issues and whatnot.
So, typically, I can text her 24/7, no issues. Just talking. But now that she's up there, it's been crazy. This past month, I've literally never been able to sleep in.. At all. She makes me stay up to talk to her, until about 1-2am. Then I wake up at 6:30am to go workout and get ready for work. I workout for a solid 2 hours and head to work, then I get off at 5. I text her throughout my work day, and even when I get home. I can't even take a nap without her telling me she's upset that I'm not talking to her. Today, I took a much needed day off. I started playing video games, so I'd reply to her like every 5-15 minutes. That was too long of a time for her to wait, so she told me to step up my game and text her faster. So, I did.
Here's another instance, yesterday, while working on a project for work, that was due at midnight. It's about 7pm, I'm working diligently. My phones on the couch beside me and she tells me that I should drop everything and talk to her! I did that! Then within 5 texts later, she tells me that she needs to go and that she's sorry she forgot. I get it, she forgot. It happens. But literally, it made me furious. I could have been working on that project.
Pretty much, how do I tell her to give me some space without sounding too rude? This isn't a newby relationship, we've been together almost 3 years now. So I guess it can be considered new to some.
TL;DR: | My girlfriend is super clingy, won't let me nap, sleep, go to the gym, do anything that requires my time, besides text her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: At the end of the month I [18F] will be moving in with my boyfriend [31M] of 1.5+ years, for school.
POST: Before everyone flips out over the age gap, my parents love him, and absolutely accept the relationship.
I'm going to try to keep this as, to-the-point as possible.
Starting September 1st I'll be living full time with my boyfriend in Toronto.
The city I live in doesn't offer University high school courses in an adult learning environment (18+ schooling). However, Toronto does. It just so happens that my boyfriend lives in Toronto, and is more than willing to have me live with him.
The problem is, I have, and have always had, issues with anxiety. I'm terrified. A huge new city, school, home, with a new job and no cats. I've never lived with anyone before so I have no idea what to expect.
When I bring up my concerns he is very shocked as to why I'd be scared, almost to the point that he's angry with me. He turns condescending and sarcastic, making me believe that my worries aren't vaild.
I'm just afraid that I'm investing too much of my life into something that potentially won't work out. What if I hate it and we break up? Is this a bad idea?
TL;DR: | City doesn't offer the high school courses I need. Moving in with boyfriend. Worried about investing too much of my life into something that might not work out. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24F] with my boyfriend [25 M] of 6 years. How can you tell when to make it work vs just ending it
POST: I'm at a crossroads with my boyfriend. There are things about his personality, wants and needs that are not meshing with mine. I just wanted to know some general opinions. How do you decide you want to change your personality or ask for changes in your SO's personality to make the relationship work, and when do you decide it's a futile effort and break it off? Is it right to ask somebody to change their personality just because you don't like it?
To be more specific, my boyfriend is a very annoyingly self-centered know-it-all. He's not a very thoughtful person and he is a little emotionally unavailable/can't handle emotions very well. I'm a very patient person, and it didn't bother me for many years of our relationship, but it does now. And after some extraneous pressure on our relationship, his shortcomings are even more apparent. He says he's willing to do anything to change, but I just don't know if it's possible. I know I'm not perfect, and have many personality flaws, but I don't think I would be able to change them, even if I gave it my all. Should I let him try or just say good bye?
TL;DR: | When is it worth it to "make it work" in a relationship? Is it fair to ask someone to change their personality? How do you decide when a relationship is over? |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: Just venting about stuff
POST: So, like a lot of kids, I thought it'd be cool to be in a band, but I've never played an instrument and don't really have a desire to. I'd really like to do vocals, I've been told a few times that I sound like I should be a singer* but I've never been one to sing in front of people. I've been told quite often that I "look like I should be the face of a band" and I do like to be on the road a lot, I don't mind having to set up and tear down sound equipment often and I don't really have any ties keeping me from moving around.
The thing is, I have no idea how to go about this, I don't really know anyone who'd really be into starting a real band, I have no idea if I'd actually be any good and I don't really have anything I'd want to write about for lyrics. I have one friend who has similar taste in music and I've been debating if I should see what he's up to, he has tried to start a band quite a few times, but I just don't want to start talking about it if I end up not going through with it.
TL;DR: | I'd love to be in a band, and love everything about band life, but I don't know how to get started, or if I'd even be good at it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: My dog died tonight and I feel like it is my fault. What are your "Did that just f-cking happen?" moments?
POST: I was stressed out about my upcoming midterms and papers. Panicked, I was considering making up an excuse to have a few more days to write my papers. I figured if I said my dog passed away, it would be reason enough to get an extension. I never went through with it though because as usual, I was able to get my papers done in the nick of time. Unfortunately, my dog suddenly passed away. The day I would have picked to use my excuse. Today.
He was an old dog. He was mostly blind and deaf. He had some serious skin problems and allergies. He's fallen down the stairs and knocked himself out. He's gotten out of the backyard a few times and ran out onto the busy road. He's been attacked by other dogs. But somehow, he had lived this long. So when suddenly and coincidentally when I was contemplating on coming up with a fake excuse, he died. The vet said he had an enlarged heart, stones in his bladder and kidney issues. It was only a matter of time.
What the fuck just happened? Did that just fucking happen? I'm in shock. FML.
TL;DR: | Dog died the same day I would have used my fake excuse saying he died to get an extension on writing a paper. Life in hard mode. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [34 M] BF wants to marry me [27 F] and we've only been together for 8 months. Too early?
POST: My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over 8 months. He's been throwing around the idea of getting married and it first started two or three months after we were dating. I don't know what to think about it, either it might be too early or I'm thinking it won't work out (I've had that happen before where I was engaged and it ended a year later). I have a 4-year-old son from a previous relationship (father passed away unexpectedly in 2010) and I've been in relationship where the guy just doesn't care. This guy does care, but he doesn't have the money to buy me a ring.
I've considered buying **him** a ring, but it wouldn't be right for me to do that.
I told him last night that maybe we should think about getting back on our feet financially and he took it as I "shot" him down. Now I feel bad and maybe i'm over analyzing it.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend wants to get married, even though we've been together for 8 months, and I'm not sure because of finances and the future. |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: The mental aspect of working out while loosing weight.
POST: I'm just curious what others think about this. I've seen people on here who have lost weight thru diet alone (thumbs up to them) and I've become pretty convinced that calories in < calories out is the best and most basic principal when it comes to loosing weight.
For my personal weight loss I've developed a healthy lifestyle sort of goal and one that I can live comfortably with and maintain. I concentrate on calories using myfitnesspal which allows me to count my calories without having to think about it too much.
I do go to the gym or workout 4-6 times a week and try to get in walks whenever possible as well (this can range form 1/2 hour to 2 hours and sometimes I don't get out at all, or I might get 2 or 3 in during the week, although not often). I push myself really hard at the gym doing 1/2 hour cardio and 1/2 hour strength training although I'm probably going to up the strength training to 45 min to an hour.
One thing I've noticed about myself though is that when I workout I am more motivated and encouraged to eat better. For me it's kind of an all or nothing sort of deal. It seems that if I'm not doing one, I don't feel compelled to do the other. So even though I'm making sure my diet is my main form of weight loss (I don't eat over my calories for the day and the exercise just becomes 'bonus' calories lost) I find the active lifestyle and workouts are just as important to me mentally.
I think part of this stems from the fact that by being stronger, faster, having more stamina, and more energy it makes day to day life better and this emphasis and magnifies the benefits of the weight loss which primarily comes from the food.
Thoughts?
TL;DR: | Working out makes me want to eat better. Eating better makes me want to workout. I find it's easier and more motivating if I do both. Do you? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Hey Reddit, I'm looking for some guidance from fellow market research Redditors on picking a data mining software.
POST: Dear fellow Redditors,
I hope this message finds you not giving one single fuck today. However, in the midst of the lack of fucks given, I need your help. My boss has assigned me to research software that would allow me to search through thousands of open ended participant responses from our new iPhone Survey app and isolate frequencies of certain responses by two to three word phrases or phrases that contain a few key words. (For example, seeing how many participants mentioned "The Rent is Too Damn High" or any combination of that i.e. "Rent The Damn too High" or "High too Damn Rent The" etc.) If you know of any thing please hook a brotha up. Much Appreciated. Love you All!
TL;DR: | Need a data mining software to scour thousands of open ended responses and count frequencies of certain comments, phrases, ideas. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by telling goodnight to my dad.
POST: This was a few years ago when I was 11 years old. My mom was accused of stealing a cellphone and was taken to the police station for questioning. This was in a middle eastern country and things became quite complicated. She had to stay in the station over night.
Dad was in touch with me throughout the day and I guess, he was as transparent as he could be with me.
At the end of the night he comes back home, and we have dinner together with my younger sibling.
While my younger sibling and I are heading upstairs to sleep, I think to myself , I should say something motivating or positive to him. So I turn back and say "Goodnight,DAD" and right after I said that, the 11 year old me also understood I fucked up today and just hurried upstairs to bed and cringing at what had just transpired. I think my dad just looked at me and said "huh", although I like to think, that he never heard the loud goodnight that I shouted.
TL;DR: | Mom was in the police station accused of something petty,had to stay overnight. Dad comes home at the end of the night. I try to console him by saying goodnight. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25F] with my newly ex-BF [25M] 4 mo, Am I just difficult or is he not considerate of my wants.
POST: We all have idiosyncrasies, and I feel that relationships only work if you can handle each others or work together on them. My boyfriend has these self-conscious tendencies that annoy the shit out of me. The two main examples are 1) Whenever I am not the happiest person in the world (either just normal or upset), he has to first ask me whether I have an issue with us or with something else. I have talked with him multiple times about how I'm just being me and that I will let him know if I have a problem. Now, it especially infuriates me because maybe I was upset about work but for the 50th time he has to ask me if he did something wrong.
2) He always wants to call or text me and if I don't answer I get call/voicemail/text/facebook messages all at once. I'm like " you knew I was at the pool or the park?! It's not like I went rogue.
We took a break recently because I got so mad about these things, then two weeks later I wanted to hang out with him and go play disc golf. I had a really rough day at work and was concerned whether I would be any fun so I told him that "I'm feeling pretty bad, maybe this isn't a good idea today"...He asked was it with us or work?!
Am I the one being ridiculous over nothing? I just don't feel heard and I am tired of having to build up someones ego. We used to be together all the time and had a great time...no reason for that in my opinion.
TL;DR: | My ex-bf too self-conscious, having trouble communicating that to him, and he is just not listening to me! |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by studying
POST: Backstory:: I have this girl I have a huge crush on, and I've liked her for 3 years. She recently broke up with her boyfriend, and she's pretty depressed. We're really good friends, so I'm pretty much the only guy she talks to.
So, I had an AP Physics quiz coming up, and I really needed to do well. I studied my as off and decided to stay up a bit later to study.
I woke up today earlier than usual, meaning I had less sleep than usual. I studied for a while, then headed to school.
As I was in class, I was dozing off every second. I literally was unable to keep my eyes open. So, I decided to go to the bathroom, also because I had to go.
So there I am, walking around, looking for the bathroom. I walk in, and noticed that there were no urinals. Odd. I went into a stall and got to business. When I walked out, I heard screaming. ??! I opened my eyes to the best of my ability and I saw her screaming with her eyes closed.
It was then when I realized that I had fkd up.
TL;DR: | only guy friend crush can talk to, studied for a test, was tired, went into girls bathroom, found my crush there. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Hey Reddit, I need some help with my overbearing parents.
POST: So I'm gonna be 30 in May and my asian parents still treat like I am still in high school. They make me call them everyday and if I don't they will either throw a fit or guilt trip me. I would understand their behavior if I was a huge fuck up and can't take care of myself but I went to a top 10 undergrad, a top 10 med school, and I am currently a resident in a competitive program. Whenever I miss my dad's calls or don't respond to his email within a day he will call me nonstop until I answer. I am pretty busy lately (~80-100 hrs a week for the next 4 yrs) so I think its pretty reasonable that I miss some calls, but this is totally unacceptable and unreasonable to my parents. Everytime i call them back, they always ask me what I was doing, and usually its because I was at the hospital working, and then they ask me why I didnt take their call, and it just completely frustrates me. Also, they seem to dissaprove of everything I do, from my hobbies to my wife. For example, I like to exercise and work out and my dad tells to stop because he says it will make me look like I have lower "social status." He doesn't like my wife because he think she's too short (she's 5'2''). I can go on for days with this. But I think they also want to move in with me sometime in the future and I don't think I can handle that. Also it's not like I have no siblings either, but I feel like they only treat me like this because I am the oldest. So Reddit, how do you guys think I should handle this move in thing with my parents without completely destroying our relationship. Thanks.
TL;DR: | my overbearing asian parents want to move in with me in the future, I don't know how to handle it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22F] with my boyfriend [22M] of 6 months who is Never Jealous, doesn't care if I sleep with other guys?? Help!
POST: Hello lovely people of r/relationships
Even before we started dating my boyfriend told me that he's not the jealous type, and that he's never felt possessive over his girlfriends. I was fine with that, I'm not particularly attracted to jealousy, I didn't care. So far in our relationship He's very caring and affectionate and kind so I have felt cared for.
However, he doesn't mind when I hang out with other guys, doesn't mind when I get hit on by other guys when I'm alone,
and last night we were talking about relationships in general and he mentioned that if we were to break up, he wouldn't mind if his best friend 'hit it' and it's all part of the experience.
so....what does this mean? How can you have any caring feeling for something and not feel the tiniest bit desire to keep it to yourself? This makes me feel llike I'm a bag off ships he doesn't mind sharing.
I'm having a hard time making sense of his lack of jealousy or any feelings of possessiveness and how loving he can be.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend is nice but never jealous even when it comes to me sleeping with other guys. Does he like me? Does he care??? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I [28F] help my boyfriend [30M] start being more positive?
POST: Throwaway account. I want to discuss this in an objective place before talking about this further with him.
My SO tends to dwell on negative things and when he's stressed out it's all he talks about.
To illustrate: in a single sitting last night he vented at length about issues with the company he runs, the projects that are stressing him out, how behind he is on all of those projects, the things that he needs to do to catch up, emails he had to send, how his phone is fucked and he can't afford a new one, how he's broke and in debt and because he just started a company can't pull himself out of it... the list goes on.
I've tried discussing these things with him and presenting positive sides of things, changing the subject, letting him "vent it out"... everything. I have also made it clear that I'll try to help him focus on more positive things, but his reaction is to jump to "obviously I'm a shitty partner and I'll just push you away" which doesn't feel constructive and makes me feel like there's no solution.
He also has a tendency to put what he's dealing with over other people's experiences. For example, he has said "what I'm going through is so much worse than the bad day you had at work" or "I have so much on my plate that I can't handle dealing with [insert friend's name here]'s work issues because mine are so much bigger and more important." It is *extremely* difficult for me to sympathize with him when he makes statements like these, because I get defensive about myself and our friends, and I'm really not sure how to handle that particular behaviour in a positive way.
I love him so much but I really don't know how to help him build better habits and work on not always focusing on the negative. Any suggestions?
TL;DR: | boyfriend is negative a lot of the time, especially when he's stressed, and I'm at my wit's end trying to help him form healthier (more positive) habits. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [17/M] needs some advice with a [17/F] girl I've known for a year.
POST: So I have known a girl for about a year or so, and we're friends, we have some common interests (i.e clubs/classes) and I need to know where to go from here. I sit next to her in one of my classes, we talk and laugh a lot, and the person who starts the conversation is pretty 50/50. Last year we didn't talk too much, but when I did talk to her she would laugh quite a bit, so I've had my suspicions.
Now earlier this year in one of the clubs we're in, I was talking to one of her friends. She points out to me that she was single, unlike most of the people in the club. I made sure to take note of that, but then later on that day her friend asks me if I like anyone. To make sure I wasn't getting the wrong idea or anything, I told her I didn't know. This didn't really do much because she just took that as a "Yeah, i do."
I haven't dated like at all, and I really need help with this girl, we share the same religion, and both take interest in similar things. I'd be happy to answer any questions anyone has!
TL;DR: | I've known a girl for about a year, we take interest in similar things, her friend has been hinting to me, what should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU By mocking a man in a coma for pooping his pants.
POST: This happened about a few years ago. I used to deliver uniforms for a living. I would go to a business, drop off their clean uniforms, pick up the dirty ones, talk to the customer about any changes, and get a signature for the invoice.
The dirty would often include underwear. Dirty used underwear. While this wasn't event close to the worst thing I came in contact with, I would often find some with residue or skid-marks. I would then leave the dirty underwear on the floor in front of the soil bin in hopes the owner would see it, realize their mistake, take care of the underwear, and never repeat it again.
Well, on that day I found a particularly foul pair. Lots of dry liquidy poop. So I avoided it at all costs, bagged up the dirtys, and went up front for a signature. This user had done this before, quite a few times actually, just never this gross.
I had a good relationship with most of my customers and because I was there at least once a week, we usually joked around a little bit or sometimes get into a somewhat long discussion. On that day the two women who usually sign my invoice had some questions about gross stuff we see delivering uniforms. I told them a few stories about some of the worst stuff. I didn't include the poopy underwear I just found, but at the end of the conversation I asked them to let "Dave" (obviously not the offending users name) know that he doesn't need to turn his underwear with his uniforms. I'm just fine if he keeps them at home.
Expecting a laugh, I smiled as I said it. All I got back were blank stares. They then tell me a story about "Dave" getting in a wreck on his motorcycle and going into a coma. Apparently his girlfriend had brought his uniforms in to get cleaned and those were the underwear he was wearing when the accident happened. All I could do was apologize and try not to run from the awkward embarrassment I just inflicted on myself. To top it off I never really had a good relationship with them after that.
TL;DR: | I found a pair of poopy underwear in the dirty clothes. When I joked about it I found out the owner of the underwear had been in a horrible accident and was now in a coma. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm[m/21] having trouble getting hard with another girl[f/21] after breaking up w/ a girl I've been with for 2 1/2 years. Please help me..
POST: So I broke up with my now ex girlfriend a few weeks ago. We were going out for two and a half years and she was my first big love and the girl who I lost my virginity too. In short I wasn't in love with her anymore and I wasn't into the relationship as she was so we broke it off. Now I'm just hitting it off with another girl (just for fun) and nothing is happening down there..sometimes I get a glimpse of it getting hard but then bam. I don't know if it's the nerves or that I have to use a condom again. I'm just really bummed out..
TL;DR: | Broke up with ex who I've been w/ for two and a half years, and I lost it to her. Now trying to have sex w/ another girl but my equipment just can't seem to be at its best. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: how to solve social status differences
POST: I'm 25 and my 2 year girlfriend - 24. To not confuse all this, we live in
"eastern" europe, not U.S. or "old europe".
She's fun, sex with her is really great and I'm deeply in love with her.
I and my girlfriend are from different "circles" of society . My family is quite rich and well known. She comes from common, lower middle-class family.
One matter which is poisoning my mind is that she is in relationship with me mostly because of money. I am taking care of all most of our financial matters. When we go somewhere, I pay the bills, I travel with her.
We're starting to think about living together, but we're more and more arguing about her and my lifestyle differences. Just summing up last few months:
- privacy. I'm quite concluded. I avoid sharing information and my feeling with others. I "trust" her with day-to-day matters, excluding my information about job. She has some problems with this as she is thinking that I have something to hide from her (I presume she thinks that my secretary is my lover or some other bs). And I tend to get angry when she shares my-and-her private matters with her friends.
- her family thinks of me as spoiled child, who has given all what he wants. And they believe bullshit billboard magazines put in their pages. Quote from her father about my ill health - "daddy ran out of money and you can't afford good doctor ? ".
- I have nothing in common with her friends and she does not with mine. We don't go to same places, we basicly are living in different worlds.
- She has some problems with my family's attitude about our relationship - I would sum it as - as long as I am happy and not causing problems - they don't care.
- She has exposed that she has can't certain aspects of our lifestyle. I work a lot, I'm late home, my father is accompanied by bodyguards, we have a maid, etc ...
TL;DR: | girlfriend can't accept my lifestyle and I can't change it "her way" (became simple, middle class citizen) . |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I [19/M] think I'm falling in love with my little friend [14/F] and I don't know what to do
POST: 4 months ago I met a girl in an athletics club. We talk sometimes through facebook and once a week personally (on practice day). Since we first met, I knew that I was going to like her. She's so sweet and sometimes she says somethings that leave me breathless, but she's also so carefree that I don't really know what she thinks about me.
I know she already have some male friends and i think I'm just one of them. Sometimes when I talk to her through facebook i think I'm kinda pissing her off (or it's just her being carefree) but she honestly laugh at my jokes, I don't really understand. At first, she started the conversations, now it's mostly me.
She is a good friend of mine and my feelings grow each day. It's the same feeling I had when I definitely fell in love with another girl in the past, and if this isn't love I don't know what it is. I just don't wanna lose her, it's like being in somekind of a friendzone.
I know that I'm too old for her and that in the future that age gap won't matter so much but I really don't know what to do and how. If I just tell her what I feel or just wait something like 2 years.
She does/say things that looks like she likes me (but it could be just the way she is) like "I know you will miss me" and "Dream of me"
I think it's good to know that when she thought I was homosexual (funny story) I said that I take care of my 14m friend she said that I was too old for him...
Sorry for my bad english and limited vocabulary
TL;DR: | Fell in love with a 14f friend, don't know if i just tell her what i fell, if wait, or if i just don't do anything |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: Your existence makes me anxious.
POST: I can honestly say that there are very few people I *hate* in this world. You are probably not even one of them, but I hate what you did. It may have started out innocent, and that's fine, but when it stopped being that, and you started being passive aggressive and manipulative, and he dove into depression and abuse (on himself more than you), you should have known better. He should have too, but you should have known. And when he figured it out, you should have thought about it. I wasn't the only one telling him what was really going on. I was actually quite good at telling people what was going on - I got your current boyfriend to think about his shitty ex, didn't I? And if you'd talked to me and trusted me like you pretended to, we could have worked it out and I'd have given you the other side and understood yours too. You two were terrible for each other and did terrible things. Except you wouldn't go away. Both of us just needed you to go the fuck away. He figured out it was terrible, and you still wouldn't go away. He gave you the body language and you started giving it back to me, as if it was my fault. He gave you the words and you still wouldn't take it. You kept pushing. You tried my patience. He wasn't yours anymore. I hate you. I hate you for raping, manipulating and abusing him. I hate you for manipulating everybody else into hating me, and I hate you for trying to manipulate him into it too. I fucking hate you, and when I said the world would be a better place if you were dead, I turned out to be right, because you're not here, just as if you *were* dead, and my life is great. His life is great. Everybody who managed to crawl out of your poison is amazing.
Fuck you, you dumb cow. Eat shit the rest of your pathetic life, and never make an appearance in my life again.
TL;DR: | The dying embers of a smoldering rage. The last of it is off my chest now hopefully - sorry it's all so vague. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Did I [22F] come off as too clingy to him [22M] and scare him away?
POST: I have had a crush on this guy from my gym for the past 2 years, and we recently started talking. Monday night was the first night we got to hang out due to his busy work schedule. This guy actually seems somewhat shy and awkward, so I can't tell if he is interested in me or not.
Monday night, we just went out for a couple drinks because he had to go to bed early. He walked me back to my car at the end of our date, picked me up, and gave me a big hug. As he was walking back to his car, I turned around and said, "I don't get a kiss?"
He walked back to me, picked me up, sat me on my car, and started making out with me. Then we parted ways. He told me he'd be at the gym on Tuesday morning.
Tuesday morning (today), he never texted me, but I went to the gym and saw him there. He came up to me to give me a hug as he was leaving.
Me: What did you think of last night?
Him: What do you mean?
Me: Like, did you have fun?
Him: Oh yeah, I had fun. That's kinda a weird question.
Me: I don't think it is. I've been asked that many times.
Him: I just always thought it was assumed. Anyway, what are you doing later tonight?
Me: Not sure yet.
Him: Well, if I get off work early (supposed to be at 11PM), I'll text you.
Me: Yeah, we should hang out soon. If you want to.
Him: Like I said, if I get off work early, I'll text you.
I never received a text from him. He often works later than what he is scheduled to work. I texted him around 1AM asking him when he'd be at the gym tomorrow. He is usually up around this time. I never got a response. Not sure if I'm overthinking or if he is just not interested.
TL;DR: | Not sure if I came across as too clingy with a guy from my gym. I can't tell if he is interested in me due to the conversation we had this morning and his lack of communication. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My boyfriend's (16/M) mother (age unknown) expects me (16/F) to be like his older brother's wife?
POST: It was brought up in conversation quite some time ago, but I began thinking on it and it just bothered me.
Her exact words were more along the lines of, "I said to B that he better find a girl like W." B being my boyfriend.
Now I'm expected to live up to an apparent high standard? I'm sure she didn't mean any harm by it, but I brought it up with my boyfriend and he simply said, "She just loves W."
I'm sure W is a smart, pretty, talented woman and though I'm sure his older brother already hates me because of an issue that happened long ago, I would like to meet her and at least say hi so she knows my face and knows that I'm not actually as mean as portrayed.
Am I over-thinking this? Should I just let it go?
TL;DR: | I feel as if I'm expected to be somebody I'm not by my boyfriend's mother. Should I just let it go? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [f 22] my boyfriend [m 25] lied to me
POST: Some background:
I have been in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend (we have been dating since November but didn't go long distance until January), but I will be moving back in a month.
He has come to visit me for two weeks and I began noticing that he lies a lot about mundane, everyday things. These lies are seemingly useless to me and seem almost compulsive.
The main issue:
Anyway, at the beginning of our relationship (before we were exclusive) he would send his ex "funny" but also fairly provocative jokes. It made me uncomfortable and I asked him to stop. He said, 'no worries, she's just a friend but I won't talk to her anymore, its not a big deal.'
Now that he's here, along with his white lies, I also find out that he has been texting his ex and lying to me about it. I haven't actually seen any of the conversations, he has only told me about them. He says that they texted 2-4 times, only friendly small chat and that he even talked about me to her.
It doesn't seem like a huge deal, but the fact that he lied about this and lies about seemingly everything else is sending off alarms in my head.
I really like this guy, I feel a strong connection with him, and I don't necessarily want to leave him. But it's concerning to me that he seems to be compulsively dishonest and it doesn't help that he's been talking to his ex while I'm 5,000 miles away.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend lies not only about small, everyday things, but has also been lying about keeping in touch with an ex who I was told was out of the picture |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22F] sick with unfounded worry of boyfriend [30M]? Am I being crazy? I feel terrible. Is this him breaking up with me?
POST: Hey, Reddit.
So about two months ago, I started dating is amazing guy. He's sweet, handsome, funny and we have similar interests and hobbies. He's quite successful in his and, as such, is usually quite busy. When we initially started dating, he's always been the one to message me first, asking me how my day was/etc etc. Normally he takes quite a while to reply -- maybe an hour or so -- but I always understood because of work.
We were apart for a week or two due to the holidays and he came back with some expensive jewelry for me as a gift. We spent a night together (I have exams so I've been trying to hold back on being clingy to him). *IN PERSON*, he is the sweetest guy ever: promising to take a day off work to be with me, telling me how he likes everything about me, etc etc.
I tend to be quite worrisome. I feel as though something has changed since then. Now, he takes about 24 hours to reply to a message, despite being online several times, and just seems quite distant. He couldn't meet up a few days earlier due to client meetings -- understandable -- but all of this is sending me into anxiety spirals that I'm too afraid to confront him about.
I messaged him earlier last night telling him I was having a shit day. He immediately asked me what was wrong and consoled me barely, and then completely disappeared and stopped replying. He just seems so distant now. I just wonder if he's suddenly lost interest in me despite being so lovey-dovey barely a week ago.
Sorry if this is a dumb question, Reddit, but I've just been sick with sadness and spiralling thoughts about this. Should I confront him about it? Communication has always been an issue with past relationships so I'm a bit more sensitive about it.
TL;DR: | Good boyfriend of a very short while is shite at texting and I don't know how to confront him about it. Is he breaking up with me this way? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 M] with my GF [20 F] of 4 months, she's extremely clingy but I still like her, what do I do?
POST: A little back story: I'm have introvertive characteristics and I really value "alone time". I've managed to have friendships that support this so far but my new relationship is a little different.
I've been with my girlfriend for four months and I've grown to really care about her and she makes it clear that she really cares about me. The problem is is that she can't seem to spend a single day apart from me.
For the first two months it was great, she would be out of town almost every weekend or wanting to spend time with "her girls" which gave me ample time to be alone or with my other friends but more recently it seems like she doesn't have other friends, just me.
I'm just feeling strung out and exhausted. I've explained to her that I need to be alone or with other people sometimes and she then respected it, but only for two weeks. It's gotten to the point where I'll lie to her about being busy just to have some time to myself.
I don't really want to "have a talk" because I don't consider myself a confrontational person and I'm a bit scared to so I've encouraged her to start activities and hang out with her friends more hoping that she'll get out and be with other people and spend less time with me but she'll skip or cancel engagements to be with me instead. I don't want to cause trouble but I also want to stop lying about things to avoid her. What's your advice?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend won't leave me alone regardless of my polite hints at her doing so and it's starting to stress me out. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I think my fiancé (30M) and friend (26F) may have slept together before he and I(27F) started dating (3.5 years). Let sleeping dogs lie?
POST: My fiancé (Scott) was close friends with my friend Karen and her husband (boyfriend at the time) when we met through her. To be honest, I had no intention of anything ever happening with Scott because I thought he and Karen had some weird side-boyfriend thing going on(they'd hang out after work before her boyfriend got home, she had a key to his apartment, they'd work out together, lots of couple stuff), and her boyfriend got upset with their relationship for the same reason, despite Scott being one of his best friends. Obviously we started dating anyway and here we are, engaged. I can provide more details if desired, but I'm not sure they're necessary.
I've never directly asked either of them about the specifics of their relationship, because of the drama it would cause whether I'm right or wrong. The thing is, we still see these people all the time, they're some of our best friends, we live close, we hang out several times a week. And sometimes it surfaces again (it happened last night), and I wonder, and I drive myself crazy about it. I'm not sure if I should ask my fiancé or just let it be, it's in the past.
I hope this makes sense. Parts are intentionally vague, and a lot is left out for the sake of not writing a novel, so let me know if I need to clear anything up.
TL;DR: | I think my fiancé and one of my best friends used to have a romantic relationship, should I ever ask him about it, or keep quiet? |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: How do you calculate depreciated value of stolen goods and do new, unopened, items still get depreciated?
POST: Hello, thanks for reading my post :D! This takes place in Roseville, California. I am having an issue with someone right now who has taken some of my items and is refusing to give them back to me. I am creating a demand letter right now telling him to give me back my items or pay for all the items he has taken for me.
The problem is that a good amount of the items he took were used by me and most likely have depreciated. The only way I could think of calculating the depreciated value of the used items was to look up the price of every item on amazon, then looking at what the item would cost if it were used. My thought is that as long as the item does what it is suppose to do, I should be able to sell it on ebay or amazon for the same used price.
The other bit that I am confused about is that there were a few items that I never even touched, or for that fact opened from the box, that he still has in his possession. He has 2 car brand new car tires I bought from costco that costed me $220 ($110 each) which i never even got to see (other than a picture he sent me; an intel i7 cpu that costed me $265 at the time (haven't even opened it). There were also a few items i bought off him (they were used), where he showed me what I was buying, I agreed that I would pay for them, then I sent him the money, but haven't even been able to touch them since I bought them. Can I ask for the full price for these items or do i still have to depreciate them?
TL;DR: | how do you calculate depreciated value of items and are items that you never used/touch still get depreciated? Thanks! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [16 F] and my Boyfriend [16 M] have nowhere to go, help?
POST: We've been friends for years and have been dating two months, and really, really like each other.
We go on formal dates every week, and have a lot of fun going to the park and to museums and doing homework together.
Then, at the end of the date, we try and kiss, like any couple would.
We've been caught four out of the six times kissing in his car by friends or family. It's not like we do it out in the open, we always go park somewhere discreet, but then get shit for it from everyone afterwards. I go home and get yelled at for being a slut, he gets yelled at for being out too late or just teased in general.
I live 30 minutes away from him, so going to each others houses is out of the question.
It's not like we're a bunch of horny teenagers, but we've never been able to kiss or cuddle together because of lack of a place to go.
TL;DR: | We have nowhere to go to be together except his car, and even then people find out. What do we do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I (20f) get myself to believe my boyfriend(21m) when he says that he's more attracted to chubby ladies?
POST: To start this, I have been dating my boyfriend for around 3 years.
I have always been VERY self conscious about my weight, so I started working really hard so I would start to like myself. I ended up recently losing a good deal of it (84 lbs), and went from obese to what I consider to be on the lower end of "chubby".
Anyways, I have had a boyfriend that's been there with me through it all. Every weight I've ever been at he has told me i'm beautiful.He has told me that he is more attracted to the larger women in the past, but I cant help but doubt him. He is a TINY string bean, noodle of a guy, completely adorable, down right sexy. In my mind I still think to myself "how can a guy like that ACTUALLY find me attractive???". So even after 3 years and a major body change, I still am embarrassed to take my clothes off around him, and I still have it in the back of my mind that he just cant like my body how it is. I've talked to my friends about it and they think somethings wrong with him or someones lying. They have told me things like "Do not believe him if he says he's more attracted to chubby girls than skinny ones, no normal guy would ever like you over someone skinny" or "your kidding right? He's probably just trying not to hurt your feelings" and things like that.
I try to believe him, but I've just never met anyone like him, so it's just so hard to be confident. Do any of you have any tips on how to make my relationship better and put my mind at ease, or if anyone's gone through something similar?
TL;DR: | I'm a bigger girl. My tiny, cute boyfriend says he loves it. I am having a hard time believing it because everyone tells me he's lying. It's really hindering our relationship and my confidence. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [30 M] with my wife [24 F] of three years, how do i deal with her saying bad things about herself but never changing anything?
POST: my wife is a very negative person - some would say toxic. she is very negative and constantly says bad things about herself. the problem is that she is very well in tune with reality. she has gained 60 pounds in the last year and a half and knows it is her fault but she keeps promising to do better and then failing and talking about her lack of control. it is the same with overspending and being hard to get along with when it comes to work partners and friends alike. she knows that she brings things on herself and she knows when she is the problem and so she puts herself down and won't let me say disagree with her on her negative self talk. i love her and i treat her very well and i don't bring these things up because she brings them up first and i know how much she struggles with them so i don't want to pile on because that is not fair. she was on antidepressants but stopped taking them and said she felt better but her lack of rational behavior is coming back and her mood swings are back too.
TL;DR: | wife is very negative about herself but i can't correct her because she usually says true things and she will both ask for and shoot down constructive help. if i don't give her things to shoot down she claims i don't care. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: BF seems to be living a double life and I don't know what to do.
POST: My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year and a half now. Things had been going great for the longest time, but then back in May of this year he pretty much pulled a vanishing act for close to two weeks, only finally showing back up after I texted his cell. He said his mother had died and he'd had to head out of state to deal with her funeral and everything since his father had died some years before and he was an only child. He went on to say he was a wreck because of everything that had happened and he'd need some time, and finally after a long talk he claimed to feel better, but he was never quite the same.
Now just a month back I googled his name and found a profile for someone with his name and that had previously lived in the same cities where he'd lived while doing his grad and undergrad. It also listed this person's parents, and after following up this person's listed mother I found she happened to have exactly the same job as my boyfriend's mother had had. Just to be sure I tried contacting the woman, asking her if she happened to be the mother of a man with my boyfriend's name who'd gone to exactly the same universities, and she said she was. But when I mentioned this to my boyfriend, he said it was just some bizarre coincidence.
But even after all this I just don't know what the hell to think. I want to believe my boyfriend, but at the same time this is one hell of a fucking stretch, and I don't know how to get to the bottom of all this short of hiring a PI.
TL;DR: | I think my BF is lying about his life and our relationship, and I'm trying to figure out what's really going on. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How do I get over a girl that's been stuck on my mind for the past 4-6 months?
POST: Hi reddit, so it kills me to admit this, but I started to like this girl that lived on my floor at the school I used to go to. She was definitely attractive, but she kinda grew on me. A very distinct personality that I am somehow really attracted to. Now to the problem.. I got kicked out of school and am suspended right before winter break. So I haven't see her in person for a while, but I used to snapchat her a lot. She kinda slowed down on the snapchatting recently, idk why but she just has. I'm almost positive that she doesn't feel the same way and that she thinks of my as a friend, but for some reason I think about her everyday and can't stop. I keep telling myself "fuck it. there's no way anymore." but I just can't. I've been really depressed and feeling really down lately because of my suspension from school and the legal issues that followed with that. And the lack of seeing my friends and going to community college sucks. So can anyone help me out?
TL;DR: | I miss my friends and this girl a lot because i was suspended from my school and can't stop thinking about her because i can't see her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by underestimating the importance of my wedding day.
POST: This has built up over the past several days, so at this point I'm well aware of how wrong I was in thinking my family wouldn't be greatly disappointed in not being there for the "official" event.
Quick background-
My girlfriend and I met when I first moved to a new area several years ago (closer to 10 than five). Not long after meeting, I was laid off from my job. By the time we knew we would get married we felt like we needed to be more financially stable before taking the next step.
We have now purchased a home together in a new area, and are getting things moving in the right direction. Last weekend while discussing future plans, marriage came up. I asked her if she "had any plans next weekend", and she said "no". It was at that moment I asked her how she would feel about having her anniversary on 12-13-15.
Surprise factor = 100
Romance factor = ZERO
Here is where the TIFU happens:
Because of the short notice, the two of us looked at it as being a legal procedure. None of our parents live in our state, and we're not religious. Our plan is to meet a few of my relatives and friends who live nearby, and we would get married in a park. Then, next year we would have a planned ceremony and reception for all of our friends and family.
Problem is, we are the only two who looked at it this way. A number of people feel left out, and my mom was very hurt. Had I realized how important this would have been for everyone else, I wouldn't have waited until the last minute to confirm the date.
TL;DR: | Thought family/friends would be more interested in the celebration of getting married than the formality of the legal act. |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: I have two questions dealing with issues I've been struggling with the past two years.
POST: 21/F/CW: 135lbs/61.2kg/5'4''
I've been steadily dropping weight for about the last year just by choosing vegetables and the stairs (SW: 150lbs/68kg). In recent months it has progressed to watching calorie and nutrient intake, and focusing on muscle groups (I'm training to be an aerialist) but there are two things that are holding me back.
1. What is the most calorie effective "bang for your buck" alcoholic drink to drink? I realize all of the implications that question begs, but here's the long and short of it. My work and personal friends often converge on bars/pubs to bond and unwind after gigs. I've managed to stave away from the pub food permanently but can't seem to find a low-guilt option for a drink. I'm a red wine drinker, but understand that the carbs and sugar from that is not the best for dropping weight. In general I've cut my alcohol intake drastically already but I can't help but know how bad drinking my calories is.
2. I have and always have had (really, really really) large breasts my whole life and no amount of weight loss or training has ever changed them. At my lowest weight last summer (~125, with D / DD), I looked like an awkward barbie doll. I dropped /maaaaybe/ a cup size when I was working out, but still looked dangerously top-heavy. Body weight exercises and dramatically healthier diet kept them nearly a cup size lower than what I normally am, but any amount of heavy work outs or food consumption outside of the strictest guidelines and they were back to normal. Any suggestions?
The second is the most vain of my goals. I am already so happy with my overall health increase and being able to wear shirts that show my tummy, but knowing my recreation after hours won't catch up with my fitness would be nice, and looking dainty and perhaps even demure instead of sexy and risqué in just tshirts would send me over the moon.
Sorry this got so long. >.>
TL;DR: | 1. I don't want to completely give up getting tipsy with my friends after work after the weekend; 2. My boobs are too big for my body, halp. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [28 M] gf [29F] of 6 years cheated on me, I want to stay with her, but it is hard
POST: Because of a job opportunity for her, we are in a long distance relationship for 2 years now. As this was in another country really far away and I don't have much money, we could only see each other once or twice a year.
Now I can finally move to her (after delays that were my fault) and just weeks before that she cheated on me.
Additionally she told me that she is not that sure any more about our future.
Until now I always said, that I could not forgive being cheated on, but I love her and I really have not thought about a future for me without her in many years.
So I am still moving in with her in 2 weeks and she seems to be really sorry about cheating on me, but I am not sure how I can handle it without being totally jealous in the near future. How can I trust her now?
I believe her, when she says, she wouldn't do this again especially in other circumstances, but it is really hard not to think about it all the time.
I also know who the guy is and they share many friends and they sometimes have to work together, that doesn't really make this easier.
Posts like this probably come up often, but I had to write it up or talk to someone and I don't want to involve my friends or family as I'm not sure yet, if I want them to know.
I won't leave her, I want to be with her, marry her, have a future with her, but this is really hard for me.
TL;DR: | Gf lives in another country for quite some time, cheats on me shortly before moving together again. How can I live with this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I [30 M] get my ex [30 F] back?
POST: My ex and I dated in college for 4 years, then broke up. A few years later she emails me out of nowhere saying she still loves me and wants to get back together. I was hesitant but after a few months of hanging out, I got back together with her and we've been together for 3 years... until last month when she broke up with me.
Her reasons for breaking up with me are:
She loves going out and doing things, and I do to but less so then she does. She doesn't believe I have the desire to go out on dates with her and do the travelling she wants to do. Admittedly I have turned her down more often then I'd like but it was do to circumstances out of my control and not because I didn't want to. I tried to convince her that I do want to do things with her and to give me a chance but she refused and kicked me out.
She also says that I wasn't "present" while I was with her. I was physically there but not mentally. I tried to explain to her that it was because she's in school right now (going for her masters degree) and I didn't want to be a distraction for her so I always left her alone while she was reading/studying which was a lot of the time.
I Tried begging her to give me another chance. We've been together for so long and she was always telling me that she loved me unconditionally so this was a surprise to me, although looking back I realize the signs were there. The more I tried to ask for her forgiveness, the more she pulled away. I know that was a mistake now so I'm giving her the space she asked for.
I should also add that we lived together in the Midwest but now that we broke up I had to move back to New York with my family which will make it ten times harder to get her back. Please if anyone can help me, I need advice on what to do. Do I have a chance at getting her back? She means the world to me and I don't want to be with anyone else.
TL;DR: | g/f broke up with me because I didn't go out enough with her, now she wants space and wont talk to me. Help! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (21female) worried about my current boyfriend (21male) meeting up with ex (22male)
POST: Basically me (21female) and my ex (22male) had been dating approx 2 months before he decided he didn't want to be with me anymore because he was moving away for university and despite knowing how upset I was about it still didn't care and went on with his decision.
I started back at uni this September and ended up very close with one of his mates (21male) just as friends at first but ended up spending all of our time together and ended up falling for each other. Once we got together I found out my ex had slpet with someone else but couldn't care less as I had someone much better and was much happier.
Anyway we ended up telling him and my ex went crazy at my current boyfriend calling him for all sorts of names, mentioning the stuff me and him had done together etc. Then turned round and said he never wanted to lose me and that he was still in love with me
Me and my boyfriend are still happily together and defiantly a much better match for each other than me and my ex ever were. But now my ex is back from uni and has contacted my boyfriend to ask t ogo for a drink
TL;DR: | should my boyfriend go? im extremely worried as my ex is very sly and I don't want him to try and mess things up |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by getting hugged by my little cousin [NSFW]
POST: This just happened. My cousin's been having her festivities for her twelfth birthday downstairs at my place, and since almost everyone had left I grabbed the big bag of cheetos and took it up to my room. She comes up a couple minutes later wanting it back and gives me a hug. She turns her head, clearly to look at my laptop screen. Just around when she knocked, I had refreshed my Tumblr dashboard, and by a bad stroke of luck, the first image on my dashboard was hentai. Although she didn't say anything, she was rather quick to run back out of the room.
TL;DR: | Little kid comes to get a bag of chips back, sees hentai I didn't mean to have open at the moment. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [25 F] texted a new "friend" [30 F] after she suggested we hang out..now no response. Whats the socially non-awkward thing to do?
POST: I recently moved to a new area, 2000 miles from home. I have no friends or family in the area minus my boyfriend, the person for whom I moved. Back at home I always had lots of friends, and was constantly busy with social activities. However, since moving here 6 months ago, I have approximately one person I'd consider a friend. Needless to say, I'm lonely and craving social interaction. My boyfriend is pretty introverted so I've been on my own with making friends.
I met a woman I get along with pretty well, "Emma," while working as a temp in an office. She's a lot of fun, seemed to genuinely like me and I enjoyed working with her.
I've since gotten a different permanent job and don't see Emma anymore. A couple weeks ago, I ran into her on the street. After brief chit chat she asked, "What are you up to the week of the 4th?" I said I was around and she suggested we get together.
Last week I texted her to see if she was still wanting to hang out, maybe grab a drink. She replied "Definitely!!!!" and asked about my new job. I responded, and she never wrote back.
A couple days later, I again texted "So I was thinking maybe we could get a drink at (bar) if you're free?"
she texted back "I'm definitely free this week, which day works for you?? :-)"
I suggested a night. Now, again, no response.
It's been two days. Normally I would say fuck it, I'm not going to bother, but I'm so lonely here and I'd love to make a friend and have something fun to do. However the socially normal part of me realises texting yet again will make me look like a big ol'saddo.
Should I just give up? I'm not sure if she isn't intersted in hanging out, or she gets busy and forgets to respond, or what, but I don't want to act like a freak.
TL;DR: | Moved 2000 miles from home, have no real friends yet, and a potential new friend isn't great about responding to texts. What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 M] with my one-year girlfriend [22 F], wants me to cut ties with female friends
POST: Keep it short. My girlfriend of almost one year wants me to cut ties with some of my female friends. This is where it gets complicated: I've slept with these girls at one point when I was single. We were just friends for a long time, then at some point we got horny, and it was simply just sex. We've remained just friends.
Now that I'm in a relationship, I'm totally committed to her, and I just view these girls as friends. She, on the other hand, thinks they shouldn't be in my life because we had sex. They don't hit on me, and we don't hang out alone. I have no intention of having sex with them again.
Am I in the wrong? I don't want to burn bridges and I think she just has security/trust issues. She thinks I'm going to fuck them again, and I'm not.
TL;DR: | fucked a female friend or two when I was single, girlfriend thinks I should cut ties with them. Don't want to lose friends. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My bestfriend [19F] of 5 years kissed me [20M] a lot last night. She's been in a relationship with her Boyfriend [20M] for two years.
POST: We can call my bestfriend "Alex" and we'll call her boyfriend "Steve"
I'll try and keep how we met as short and blunt as possible.
Alex added me on Facebook sometime ago shortly after I split with my ex, she had intentions of flirting and eventually gave me her number and continued said flirting. At this point I had no interest in a relationship so each time Alex would ask me to be in one with her I'd reject the idea.
Fast forward three years and she gets together with Steve, she still spoke with me a lot; everyday in fact. She never changed her attitude either.
She started coming around to my house often, Steve of course knew. At this point I was friends with him too (not close)
She's liked me for a very long time pretty much, and there's no denying I've liked her. But last night she was very touchy feely, rubbing her noes against mine, cuddling, all of your generic boy/girl stuff whilst in a bedroom combined with infatuation. But them she kissed me, I initially stopped her and said we shouldn't do this, she agreed; but it continued. A lot. Proper full on kissing for hours on end and hen she proceeds to declare her feelings for me and how they've always been there.
Look, the idea of me being a product of cheating is absolutely tearing me apart as I'm extremely against it. I have absolutely no idea what to do with the situation as she's still talking to me like she always does (flirtatiously, lots of kisses, yeno..)
Can someone please offer me some advice on the situation, thanks very much.
TL;DR: | Bestfriend and I made out a lot, she has a boyfriend but still very clearly likes me... Feeling's mutual. Not happy about being a product of cheating. Need advice. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Out of nowhere my (27/M) gf (23/F) needs to date around to confirm our relationship.
POST: My whole situation arose of of nowhere. Just 10 days ago if that my relationship was solid and I believed we had a mutual loving relationship. 2 Sundays ago I was hanging out with my now ex-gf and I could tell something was up. She finally opened up and said that her mother and sister had been asking questions about our relationship and where it was going. She told me she responded with that she loved me and could see it as something permanent. Her mother and sister both advised her that she need to make sure.
They proceeded to tell her that they way they were sure that the men they ended up marrying was when they took some time away from the relationship and took time to be single and go on a few dates. These dates ultimately led them back to the men they married.
Well the thought of her dating other guys and needing to verify her feelings for me this way infuriated me. I have been cheated on before and was really shaken by it. So out of defense I told her that she should go do it out of anger and told her to leave.
Initially she said she made a mistake bringing it up. Still mad I told her I needed sometime to get over it. Well after a day or 2 I was ready to move past it. This is when she started to act weird. Her text were short and far between. Come to find out the following Friday she said she went on a date.
I of course get mad, said somethings but calmed down. We sort of patched things up, but didn't get back together. I now have made every attempt to get back together but she is resisting saying that she needs time to be single and figure it all out. I forgot to mention we started dating not long after getting out of previous relationships.
She now states she needs to do this because she doesn't want to question herself further down the road. I say part of being in a relationship is finding out if you should be with that person long term or not. She apparently needs other verification.
What do I do?
TL;DR: | GF says she needs time to be single, so she can be sure that I am the right one for her. I feel like there is something I don't know about. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Advice on Whether to Accept Potentially Life-Changing Interview Offer
POST: This might seem like a bit of a no-brainer, but I think it may help to just hear from others, even though I think it may be clear what I should do.
I currently work in Higher Education at a well-known, highly respected University in the Northeast. I am an Assistant Director in my particular department, and I currently have a Master's degree.
A few weeks back, I was contacted by a hiring rep asking if I'd be interested in applying to a similar job with the title of Director, some added (and exciting) responsibilities, at a very small, niche private college. I thought nothing of it.
Today I received a follow up, saying they are still interested in having me apply - only this time, they shared the salary range, and my jaw dropped; it is more than double my current salary, to the tune of 6 figures.
Why I am hesitant - Sure, it's only an application. However, I have a very transparent relationship with my current supervisor, and feel I should be honest with him if I do this. In addition, if I were to receive an offer and accept, I would be leaving a great work environment, at a well-established institution, for one that was in danger of selling off their property as recently as 4 years ago. But, I'd be lying if I said that 6 figure salary wouldn't make my life a lot easier.
I think I will apply, because what would it really hurt? But am I crazy for feeling somewhat hesitant on this, even though the best outcome is my life would be changed immensely for the better (at least financially)?
TL;DR: | Being head-hunted for job that would double my current salary, not sure if long-term benefits are worth the immediate payoff. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I [M/24] am starting to have pretty strong feelings for my friend [F/21] who is in a shaky relationship
POST: I'm starting to really like a friend of mine, but she's in a pretty long term relationship. It's kind of shaky at times (the relationship with her SO), and I've always had the sense that it's going to end. I would NEVER get in between a relationship, no matter how bad it may seem (you only hear one side of the story), so that's not really my issue. Every time I hang out with her, I feel kind of scummy because we are obviously flirting. My question is, should I move forward with our friendship, or should I cut ties? I really don't want to cut ties, but I also don't want to cause a rift in a relationship. Also, I've never actually met her boyfriend, but I'm not sure if that would make me feel any better.
TL;DR: | Starting to have pretty strong feelings for a female friend of mine who has a boyfriend. Not the kind of person to get in the way of a relationship, but wondering if I should keep up the friendship for her sake. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Do you really care reddit?
POST: How many people are genuinely distraught by the news of Whitney Houston's death? In the past hour I have seen multiple Facebook post and every news cite has "WHITNEY HOUSTON IS DEAD" plastered across the entire page. I'm not an insensitive person at all! It is a shame that such a talented person is no longer with us, but death happens by the minute! It's not breaking news that she is dead, and I feel some people are just using her death for easy karma. Most everyone has heard of Whitney Houston, but it is hard to believe that so many people are truly affected by her death. Maybe it's just me, but when a celebrity dies that I have never had any connection to I don't feel the need to tweet/facebook post/cash in on karma just because it happened. Sorry for the outburst I just think lowly of the few dozen stupid fb bitches and the plethora of Whitney Houston post on the front page.
TL;DR: | The front page is covered with "Whitney Houston is dead" links. We get it, go karma whore somewhere/something else. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I [19f] confront my boyfriend [20m] on him possibly cheating when I was the one snooping?
POST: I don't know how to confront my boyfriend of 2 years on a message I found. I was snooping, yes I know I was wrong, I shouldn't have done it and I feel extremely guilty about it. The message said:
"I said fuck [102112] and went to the concert and had a bitch to accompany me as always"
Part of me wants to believe he just said this to boast and seem cool to this friend of his because this friend is kind of a douche bag and is a bad influence and caused him a lot of hell last year during his freshman year
The other part of me thinks he cheated.
I want to confront him to get the truth but right now he thinks everything is ok and I know if I do it will cause a huge fight, he will blame me and break up with me. I don't want to fight, and I don't want him to break up with me. I want to move on from this and figure out why this happened and I want to know if he cheated or not.
Last night I saw him and we talked a lot about the cheating thing and how it real scares me and how I am insecure. He told me he loves me and would never cheat on me. He says he is just attracted to me and wants to be in a committed relationship with me. I want to believe this but I am still stuck on the message I found. I have no idea what to do, I am completely heartbroken.
TL;DR: | I snooped, boyfriend possibly cheated, I want the truth but am to scared to confront him. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: What are his friendship/dating intentions?
POST: I feel like this is a boring question, but I'm seriously confused. I met this guy a couple times with mutual friends hanging out/at parties. The third time we hooked up and he was sober. He got my number a bit before the hookup and I figured he was a player and didn't expect to hear from him and it didn't bother me.
He then texts me and continues to text me wanting to hang out disappointed when at first I said we weren't going to be able to. After flirty texting we end up hanging out with his best friend and my best friend and I thought it was normal semi double date hang.
While we're out he's openly getting another girl's number and it's like we're all just friends hanging out.
What does this guy want from me? We weren't friends before we hooked up why would we be friends after? Is this common behaviour and I'm just oblivious?
TL;DR: | Why would a guy meet a girl, hookup and then try to hang out for weeks just to be platonic friends? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Is connection really important during the first few dates?
POST: Went out with a girl (I'm 24 and she's 22), and the first date went great. We both felt really connected with each other. I know she feels the same way because she told a mutual friend about how we clicked really well and the mutual friend told me.
But we couldn't see each other for about three weeks because I was away and when we finally went on second date, we didn't click as well. We decided to smoke a joint and order cocktails after dinner and things just got worst from there. There were plenty of awkward silences and she just seemed distracted.
Oh, and I forgot to mention, we're friends before we went out, but we were never close.
At the end of the night, I texted her the usual; 'had a great time, blah blah blah..' but no reply.
This was last night.
I called her just a few minutes ago to ask her if she'd like to go for a jog tomorrow afternoon and she declined. Her reason was, 'I don't jog' but I remember her telling me she wanted to start running again during the date.
I know, she's not willing to take this thing further which is fine. But it got me thinking, is it really important to form and cement a connection when you're going out on the first few dates?
<b>
TL;DR: | Shouldn't everyone deserve the benefit of a doubt when it comes to the first date (or at least the first few dates)? Things might get better if we got to know each other a little bit more right?</b> |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What nostalgia-inducing movies from your childhood did you later realize are ridiculously darker and more sinister than you remember?
POST: For me, *Oliver!* (1968) absolutely takes the cake for this.
When I was a kid, I thought it was a lovely musical story about some outcast kid who is taken in by some singing pick-pockets... I loved the movie. Now I can't watch it without becoming horribly depressed.
The only even remotely redeemable adult character (Nancy) is beaten to death **by her boyfriend** for trying to help others, a group of destitute children are being led by a creepy old man with despicably questionable motives to be the scum of society *(their only remaining option)*---and none of them realize just how fully fucked up their situation is... the whole society is hopelessly corrupt... they sing happy songs to avoid having to actually emotionally deal with the reality of their situation, instead forcing themselves to believe it isn't as terribly shitty as it really is.
TL;DR: | The innocence of childhood puts an interesting spin on what we remember from our youths... what movies completely eluded you in terms of how dark they really were? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Parenting
TITLE: Stepson (16) busted with weed for the second time in 2 months. Not sure what to do.
POST: Throwaway here. Also, this is my first time posting something like this, so I apologize for any mistakes made.
My (31m) wife's (34f) stepson was suspended from school for 5 days today. He was caught smoking weed at the bus stop this morning waiting to go to school.
He was busted 2 months ago, with a bowl and weed, by his father's girlfriend. When this happened, I let his mother talk to him because I was so greatly disappointed in his choices. I was really angry, but did my best to give him a chance to earn any trust back. (Xbox and phone taken away was the punishment, btw)
Well, fast forward to today, and he was busted this morning at the bus stop. He is currently at his father's house, so I haven't had a chance to talk to him, but I know that he has been suspended for 5 days. I'll be discussing how to handle this with my wife when she gets home from work tonight.
BUT, the problem we ran into last time was his reaction to any punishment was a simple "ok". He acted like he didn't give a shit about any of it. He wanted to just go about his day of sitting around watching tv and just forget about it. I'm really feeling powerless to effectively get this kid to get his ass in gear. He is not interested in finding a job, buying a car, doing any chores. Every time I offer money to do chores, he declines.
I know weed isn't a big deal to some people, especially on reddit, but please do not respond with "it's not that big of a deal, just relax". I don't think that weed is a big deal, for an adult, but I am trying to teach a 16 year kid how to try and make the right choices in life and I don't feel that smoking is a productive one. Thanks!
TL;DR: | Stepson caught with weed, again. Punishments don't seem to work. He lacks motivation. I would like any words of advice on how to handle this situation. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My girlfriend [25F] is most likely pregnant but she won't tell me [28M] for some reason
POST: My girlfriend and I live together and work together. We moved up to a very remote area in the winter so since we don't have any friends or family here we spend 100% of our time together. Because of this it's really easy for me to tell when something is off with her. The past month or so she has been acting really weird. She's been very clingy, low energy, different in general. She also doesn't want me cooking onions anymore or doesn't want to eat anything with onions in it and the smell makes her gag. She puked when I burped after a few beers.
I didn't know what was going on at first but now I think she is pregnant. On our Amazon I saw that she ordered prenatal vitamins but she claims they are for her hair. We rented a beach house with a bunch of our friends last weekend in a city that's known as a summer party spot and she didn't drink a drop of alcohol, and she's normally a big partier during this weekend.
I've asked her a ton of times what's going on but she won't tell me and I don't think I should push it anymore because it's probably getting annoying, but i don't understand why she won't tell me what's up. I've specifically asked if she is pregnant and she says no. Should I just drop it and wait until she comes to me about it or keep pushing?
TL;DR: | I believe my girlfriend is pregnant and if she's not something else is going on but she won't talk to me about it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25m] moving in with [24f] temporarily, question about leases!
POST: Pretty simple and straightforward question. I'm moving out of my current place right now—I have two roommates whom I've lived with for years and I'm ready for a change. My girlfriend and I live in the same town, and she wants to live with me for the summer (as her family is in a different town but wants to stay here), before beginning an internship in the town where we both currently live. The plan is for her to live with me for three months before getting an apartment with two of her best friends in september—this is the last time she'll get to live with them before they leave, so we figured that this would be a good arrangement where everyone involved is satisfied. Plus this functions as a "trial" period of living together which I think is smart.
Anyways, if she's looking to live with me for three months, how does the lease work? When I'm apartment hunting, do I need to be up-front with the landlord about her staying temporarily? We'd be splitting rent until she moves off somewhere else, and then it'd be solely my place. Does she even need to be on the lease? I don't want the landlord to jack up my rent if she'll be there for only three months. If she ended up staying longer, of course she'd sign the lease. I was considering not saying anything in the meantime. Advice?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend and I moving into new apartment together for the summer, she's only staying 3 months until she gets her own new place. Does she need to be on the lease? Do I mention this to the landlord? |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: (CAN) 19 Y.O looking for advice to make it in the city
POST: Hi guys,
So I'm coming to you today from the guest room of my grandparents home in Ontario and I need help figuring out my life. So to give a quick background of myself; no criminal history, graduated highschool, achieved good enough grades in my last year to be accepted to the universities i applied to, however I attended 1 semester of college that was paid for ... that I failed, part time min wage job and no family. To clarify on that last point, what I mean by no family is that I'm not in touch with anyone besides my grandparents (parents divorced, lived with my dad, he passed away recently and now I'm with my grandparents.) and financially im on my own. So as to what I want to do with myself, I dont know, I can see myself anywhere but I want to live in Toronto and have a self sustaining job and hopefully pick up on school again. I've been struggeling this year with my own problems (hence the failing of school) and I really lost my touch of reality, staying in everyday besides the ones I had to work. I have considered joining the military but I have health limitations, I've considered taking out a loan and just continuing working a min wage job grinding until I can afford school but I know that reddit can be very knowledgeable on these types of situations. What I'm looking for is a job that can help pay for my own apt and enough to put away to help me save for an education, and I know this is pretty unrealistic especially coming from nothing but I really am lost. As for what I have on hand, a gym membership, 800 canadian and time. If anyone has any suggestions on what I can do or any advice, resources or anything I'd really appreciate it.
TL;DR: | 19 year old canadian, no outside financial aid, failed 1st semester of college but no debt, and I need help finding a way to make it on my own. |
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