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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [20M] girlfriend [22F] cheated on her ex... A lot
POST: She told me of one time she cheated on him when we first started dating. I appreciated the honesty and believed she could change. I know some people think once a cheater always a cheater, but I believe in second chances. However, now, 6 months in, she's confessed she cheated on him many times with 4 or 5 guys. I was hurt by this because I explicitly asked her in the past if it was just once and she said it was. I hate lying. Her lying says to me that she hasn't actually changed, because if she had, she would have admitted it. And cheating this many times isn't a mistake. It's not a one off. It's a THING THAT YOU DO. She had a huge breakdown when she told me. She cried a lot and promised she had never cheated on me, never would and that we were different, but I don't know what to believe anymore. All of her friends, including one really close mutual friend who I've known my entire life have told me that we're different and she would never repeat the same mistakes. I just hate that she lied to me.
I've been taking a few days to think it over and during this time she's blocked every guy she cheated with on Facebook. She's also blocked all their numbers. I don't like controlling relationships. My last girlfriend made me distance myself from all my female friends, and even though I didn't ask her to, the fact that she's doing it makes me feel like I'm controlling her. Am I? Or do you think this is a fair outcome given the past.
I guess what I want to know is, do you think her lying to me about this for 6 months before coming clean is a sign that she hasn't moved on from this kind of behaviour and is still the same person, and do you think her blocking all the guys she cheated with and distancing herself from other guy friends is a bit much.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend cheated on ex a lot. Can she change and do you think her distancing from her male friends is a bit much. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I [22F] tell my roommates [22M and 21F, a couple] that their room smells terrible because of their dog and the smell is penetrating my room?
POST: My roommates have a really old, really GROSS dog. Most days, both of them are out of the house for the majority of the day and they leave all of their animals (the dog, a cat, and two rats) alone and locked in their bedroom (which I find to be neglectful). The dog is 10+ years old and pees, and sometimes poops, in their room every single day, even if we take him out to pee a few times a day. He also has a skin disease and scratches and sheds constantly. The cat and the two rats are just an added bonus, they have their own sort of smells, but the dog's smell is absolutely overwhelming.
Their room smells absolutely putrid. A mix of old dog, dog and cat pee, litter box, and rat cage. It is truly an awful smell. I know they know it smells bad and they try to keep it to their room by keeping their door shut at all times, but that just isn't cutting it. The smell leaks out into the hallway and into my room.
How do I tell them they need to do something about the smell? They claim not to smell anything bad anymore, even though me and the other roommate agree that it smells horrible. I know they will absolutely refuse to make the dog an outdoor dog (we have no fenced-in yard and live in a very hot place). If I knew that the smell would be this bad, I would have never agreed to let them bring their dog.
TL;DR: | Roommates' room smells like death and it's starting to stink up the whole house. How do I tell them to fix the problem? Is there even a solution? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My boyfriend [26M] and I [23F] are in a rut, he doesn't know if he sees a future?
POST: My boyfriend and I have been living together for about 6 months, together for 2 years, we're having problems.
He's had a tough year, lost his job 12 months and and has been waiting to hear about the job he really wants for about 10 months. In the meantime he is working a job that he hates to pay the bills, which has caused him to become depressed. This has taken a toll on our relationship, but generally we are okay, he has gotten a lot better in the past couple of months.
I admit I have definitely neglected the relationship lately, I've been busy at work and have stopped talking to him as much and we haven't had sex in 2 weeks which is very unusual for us. I just don't feel that close to him lately, but I figured it was just a rut. I did try to initiate sex a couple of times and he turned me down, which I put down to depression, and didn't want to push.
Last night he brought this up, asked what we are doing and if this was it. Basically he said he doesn't see a future for himself at all, and isn't sure if there's a future for us together. He said he loves me and doesn't want to break up but that we seem to be going through these 'ruts' every few months and he can't do it anymore.
I want to fix it. I really love him, and when we're good we're really good. I just don't know how to fix things. A few months ago he was saying he wanted to marry me, and now he seems to have one foot out the door.
I don't know what to do.
TL;DR: | I love BF, BF says he doesn't know if he sees a future, I don't know if its because of depression or he is over the relationship |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by cheating
POST: This wasn't today it was saturday. I'm a part of my school's exchange program which brought foreign people to my school I got along with everyone except this two shy girls, they had arrived the sunday before and I hadn't talked to either of them much before saturday.
Now to the fuck up itself, I've had a girlfriend for 3 months and stuff were going okay but I wasn't kind of getting bored by the relationship, saturday it was a friend's birthday dinner and she invited a couple of the exchange students, we got really really wasted and I started talking with one of the girls who was opening up, we then started to take pictures and talking more until the group moved onto a bar.
Everything was normal for a bit but then me and that girl start dancing, my head was cirlcing around with the idea that I shouldn't cheat but then when I went to sit down to think she came along and we kissed.
I felt kind of bad about it but I kept going and we ended up making out until she had to leave.
The next day I tell my girlfriend what happened and she says that it's ok because she had cheated on my once too WITH MY EX GIRLFRIEND and that we were "even", now I want to break up and try to get to know the exchange student better but I think she is pissed because she didn't know I had a girlfriend.
TL;DR: | Cheated on gf with exchange student, found out she had cheated on me with my ex girlfriend, now I want to break up and get to know exchange student better but she is mad at me |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by sneezing on a bicyclist
POST: I got off school at 3pm today and was heading to my dermatologist with my sister. She was driving and I could feel a sneeze about to come so I searched for some tissues. My sister had no tissues in my car so I decided to open the window and sneeze. I sneeze outside of the window and close it after I finish sneezing. I look back and realize that there is a bicyclist almost parallel/behind my sister's car. I look closer and see this giant glob of saliva and green mucus right on his jacket and pants. I told my sister to speed the fuck up and we got away.
TL;DR: | started mucus warfare with other high school kid who got hit by my snot when i sneezed outside my car window while he was biking |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [17 M] with my sister [14 F] and my Dad [46 M] featuring his short temper.
POST: Keep in mind that in this situation, I'm just standing about 6 feet away trying to reheat pizza. I have a mother who was not present at the time.
So just earlier, my dad was going off on my sister for not cleaning her room. This was pretty understandable, as not only does my sis never keep her room clean, but we are putting the house up on the market soon, so we have to keep things looking clean.
My sis then tells my dad that she'll do it after dinner, and that it's not a big deal as long as its done by the time any important people come around. This, for some odd reason, really got my dad going. He slammed the dinner table, picked it up and shoved it to the side (Keep in mind that this is a pretty fucking huge and heavy table). He starts yelling at my sis, saying how she's lazy, and she's the reason this house wont sell when it goes up on the market. Keep in mind that as hes saying this, the now violently moved table has spilled drinks and food all over the floor, there's a slight dent in the wall, at at this point he throws a chair, then hits and snaps another one. At this point my sister is away crying in her room, and I'm now sitting outside wishing I was old enough to have a beer.
It should also be noted that he has a quite sour attitude most of the time, or there's the occasion that he's "happy" in which is mostly consisted of annoying people and getting on their nerves. He's acted like this before, made violent threats, etc., but it's pretty rare (I could probably count on one hand). But the point is it's happened. He has never acted violently to us, although me and him got into a pseudo-wrestling match/brawl some years ago.
Come to think of it, I really don't like being around my family at all. I mostly stake out in my room right after school; working out, playing video games, and doing school work.
What's the deal here? What can I do? What can he do?
TL;DR: | Old man is angry, not unheard of - violent, but not torwards people, just surroundings - what cna be done? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22F] with my boyfriend [20M] of 4 years tells his friend [20M] every detail of our relationship
POST: First off I just want to say I have no problem with my boyfriend venting to friends about the relationship, but I feel he's taken it too far. Anytime we disagree about anything at all, big or small, he immediately runs to his computer or phone to tell his friend everything line for line that happened. Even if we already resolved it before the friend is involved he still needs to make sure his friend knows everything that happened afterwards. It honestly feels like I'm in a 3 person relationship. I've told him it bothers me how much he involves his friend in our relationship, but he thinks I'm being ridiculous. So is this normal? Am I being ridiculous? Or is he pushing the boundaries of what's appropriate?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend always makes sure his friend knows every detail of every disagreement or decision we make and it's driving me crazy. Is this normal? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [18 M] meeting with my ex [18 f] to get some closure after about 2 months of no contact, What do i say or ask besides the basic stuff?
POST: We broke up about 2 and a half months ago. it was a rough break up and i got mad over some petty s*** but finally decided we needed to talk about it. She [18 F] agreed we are meeting later tonight. I [18 M] don't know what i want to get out of this talk.
I still think about her daily, but I don't think getting back together with her is an option either of us has in mind. Dont get me wrong I'm still madly inlove with her just dont know if thats the right thing to do.
I keep getting false hope for some reason, must be my past feelings talking. Ive been anxious, scared, excited, nevervous waiting until she gets out of work. Any tips on what i should ask or say?
TL;DR: | Meeting with an ex after not talking for 2 and a half months. not sure what to say or ask besides the basics. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: I (m17) will be hanging out with a girl (f16) who I haven't talked to in about 2 1/2 years. I like her very much and I want to know how to win her over while we hangout. How do I win her over?
POST: A little history
We meet in science class in 8th grade (she was a 7th grader (also for the sake of logic we'll call this girl Kimmy). Kimmy and I used to talk a lot and we became kinda close, but then I left for high school and we lost contact with each other. Fast forward to my sophomore year (Kimmy's freshman year). I rarely saw Kimmy yet I still really wanted to talk to her and become friends again because deep down inside I still kinda liked her. So that year was a bust cause I never saw her and I didn't have enough confidence to ask her out. Fast forward to this year (my junior year & Kimmy's sophomore year) Again the same thing happened and I rarely saw her first semester, but her schedule changed at the beginning of May and we started to see each other again and we talked more and she finally gave me her number last week. I called her that night and asked it we could hang this Thursday (last day of school for my city) and I need to know how to win over Kimmy. How should I act, what should I do, how I go from then on with Kimmy if things start between us?
TL;DR: | Talked to a girl who's a year below me when I was in 8th grade and I really liked her. Didn't reconnect with her until now and I still like her and I want to know how to win her over. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: No Valentine's Day present.
POST: Boyfriend: 26
Me: 20
Dating 6 months
A couple of weeks before V-Day, I asked him if he wanted anything special. He replied "I don't really celebrate V-day. It's just an excuse to sell candy and cards. The man is bringing us down." I didn't really say much, I just got a little down-in-the-dumps and he knew it. He laughed and said he was going to take me to a nice restaurant.
Well I actually like V-Day, so since he's moving 4 hours away in a couple of weeks, I thought it would be nice to give him a cute pic of myself, his favorite candy, and a card. Well V-Day comes, and we go out to Kabuki. So we're done with dinner and we're going back and I tell him that I'll give him his present once we're home. He's was genuinely surprised I got him something. He then says he didn't get me anything for V-Day...
Am I wrong for expecting something, whether it be a card, flowers, even a freaking box of chocolate? He liked his present and wished me Happy Valentine's Day. I just feel like I deserve more than dinner.
TL;DR: | BF expressed that he doesn't celebrate V-Day. He didn't get me anything for V-Day (just dinner) and I got him a present. Am I wrong for expecting something? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Today a girl tried to take my headphones right in front of me. Any other stupid stories about someone trying to steal from you?
POST: Yesterday, a girl asked if she could sit by me. I didn't know her, but I tried to be nice. I was listening to music, and she asks if she can see it.
She all but pulls my MP3 player out of my hands. She says she wants to skim through my music, but instead skips to a song she likes and puts one of my headphones in her ear. This unnerves me a little, but I try to go with it until she asks if she can take it home to "put music on it". I quickly say "no" and we move on. This entire scenario was a red flag to me, but I hoped it was just a one-day thing.
Today when I got on the bus, before I could even sit down, she asks me to use my headphones. I let her, thinking there was no way she couldn't give them back. When we go to switch buses, she runs out in front of me and goes to sit with somebody else instead of giving them back, even offering to share the headphones with the other person. Though I got off the bus right behind her afterwards, she pockets them as if they are hers and waits several minutes as I stare her down before deciding to give them back.
TL;DR: | I sit with a stranger; she creeps me out and asks to take my MP3 player then the next day gets loaned my headphones and tries to keep them. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me[23M] with my Ex? Girlfriend [21F] of 1.5 years who wanted a break - really struggling now we're both back from travelling.
POST: Right, well. I started dating Alice after being at university with her for a year. We both study the same subject, and are both on the same course, with one more year left. We argue occasionally but things always end up alright in the end. Around exam times we both get more stressed and arguments occur with a bit more frequency. At the end of last years exams, on the night of our Uni Ball, out of the blue Alice told me that she wanted to have a break.
It turned out that for the past couple of weeks she had been unhappy due to the arguments, which we had talked about and I had thought the issues had been sorted. She had lied to me about being on her period because she didn't want to have sex. We were both about to leave the country for two months - to do different things - and she wanted that time completely apart to just diffuse the situation. It turned me into a complete mess for the week before I left the country to work abroad for the summer.
We both went away did our separate things, both got drunk and slept with someone else, but now that we're both back in the country I'm finding it so much harder. I'm still in love with her, she was my best friend before we started dating, what we had is worth getting back together for. Every time I have any time completely alone I find myself thinking about her. We have another year of university left together in what will be a very close contact environment. I have no idea what to do, we didn't fully break up, and I had thought at the end of my working abroad that I was over her but I'm not.
We've spoken over skype and both said that we want to just wait until we get back to uni (5 weeks) and see how things go, but I'm really struggling. I spend my time trying to work out, or work, or study for when I'm back but whenever my attention isn't absorbed in something I think about her.
Anyone got any help on this?
TL;DR: | Gf of 1.5 years completely surprises me with an 'I want to have a break for 2 months while we're both out the country' but now that we're back I'm really struggling. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Help uncover an Ethiopian orphanage scam!!!! Please, Reddit!
POST: I posted an IamA earlier, but a few people suggested I post this elsewhere:
I worked in an Ethiopian orphanage for a little more than a month in Legedadi, Ethiopia. It's a small town about 2 hours out of the capitol, Addis Ababa.
A few months after returning to the US, I learned that the caretakers of the orphanage were incredibly abusive. They beat the kids, starved them, and literally kept them looking downtrodden so that they could get more money. They used money that was supposed to be for the orphans on cars, jewelry, and clothes for themselves. They even used the young girls (as young as 10 years old) as prostitutes. I don't know what I can do to help these kids? They've already lost their parents and now the people that are supposed to be taking care of them are abusing them.
Any suggestions on how to proceed would be GREATLY appreciated. Feel free to ask questions, as well.
TL;DR: | I thought I was helping some orphans, but really I was feeding into a giant scam in which the two caretakers at the orphanage profit from keeping the orphans starved and downtrodden. I want to do something about it! |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Is he starting to like me?
POST: I [23F] am met a guy [21M] about 2 years ago in one of my classes. He started talking to me mid semester. I hadnt realized i had him for 2 classes and we would study together. Inbetween semesters, we didnt talk much but we had eachother on social media and we would like eachothers pictures. He tried hanging out with me before but i never had time because of work.
So, this semester, i have him for a class again. This time, things are different. He seems different. We study almost every week on my only days off. One day, we stayed late studying and he told me his brother was texting him and he told him that he was studying with the girl he liked but he didnt believe him. At school, he always makes me walk with him everywhere and lately he keeps complimenting me about how smart of or cute i am.
The other day, he told me to help him pick out a gift for his coworker. When we were shopping for stuff, we were messing around as usual but them he started making dirty jokes. I dont mind, its just weird coming from him. Then on one of those, he asked to see my hand, and i stretched out my arm and he grabbed my hand for a few seconds. I asked him why and said "no reason".
The next few days he kept randomly texting me "just to bug me". He doesnt text me often. So that was random. And then he wanted to study with me on both of the days i have off. I said i could only do one day because i had to study for another class and i have other things to do and he said he wanted to spend time with me. He never met someone as busy as me.
He knows about the guy i like. And all of a sudden, he hates him. He had told me about a girl he liked at work and he said she was ugly. I am confused
My best friend thinks he likes me but i dont think so. Weve been friends for so long. Why all of a sudden?
TL;DR: | my guy friend of 2 years is starting to act weird. Im not sure if he is starting to like me or something. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Request: my girlfriend is anorexic
POST: My girlfriend [F18] and I[M20] have been dating for about 4 months now and from the beginning she talked openly about her eating disorder and other issues in her life. More recently its gotten worse and I don't know what to do.
Yesterday she told me she had only had 1000 calories over 5 days. It scares the shit out of me, she's developing heart issues. Her doctors have told her that she has thin walls of her heart. She may have to go to a program in a large city by where we live for 3 months minimum, either in patient or outpatient treatment.
I need advise, I don't know how to help, she seems distant sometimes and never has energy. Our love life is next to nothing and its starting to effect me and how I look at food. She blames herself and I can't help but blame myself.
TL;DR: | My girlfriend has issues and I'm trying to help. I love her and just want her to be healthy and happy. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (22F) have grown to like this guy friend of mine (25M) but I can't figure out whether he's shy/passive or just not interested.
POST: (x-post from AskMen)
I (22F)'ve grown to really like this guy friend of mine (25M) - [I posted about him recently](
We've been friends for over a year now, and the entire time (until recently) he had a girlfriend, so we hung out platonically about once a month and had a great time. He told me about a month ago that he had broken up with her (which makes it about 3 months now that they've broken up).
Last week we went out for drinks, which ended in him kissing me at the end of the night and I confessed to him that I liked him and have liked him for a while. He said he really liked me too, but he wants a bit of time because he just got out of a 2-year relationship BUT says he still wants to see me.
The thing is, he had always been fairly passive in initiating hangouts (I'd always bring it up, then he'd enthusiastically say yes and take charge in making plans, then we'd have a great time hanging out). Unless his response was to be nice/polite to me and let me down gently, our feelings are mutual and are out in the open, yet he still won't initiate anything. The only indication I have to go off of is that he now replies my texts more regularly (though very infrequently still), but not much else otherwise.
I don't want to push him away if he's not lying, since I really like him and I think we'd be really happy together sometime in the future if he gave us a chance. But he is my friend first and foremost so I don't want to put him in a position where he feels like I'm just using him. So how do I know whether he's just shy, passive (and needs me to take the lead), or is he just not interested?
TL;DR: | Can't figure out if the guy I like is shy, passive, or simply not interested despite him telling me that he reciprocates my feelings, because he is not really doing anything about it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: i'm [20 M] extremely uncomfortable with my girlfriends sexual history, how can I get over it?
POST: First time redditor asking what has probably been asked a million times, who cares.
Met a girl at uni and now we're together (hasn't been very long since r'ship started like a month maybe). Had sex a ton but not much else.
I guess I can be a bit jealous/particular about my partners idk. she's only had sex with one dude and she's always adamant self respect is huge for her and that was something I was attracted to in the first place.
Then last night she sprung on me that she's had a threesome with some dude she met at a club and a good female friend of hers (my gf did everything but have sex but her friend did). I freaked out a bit and she lied and said it was a joke but this morning she said she it wasn't a lie she was afraid I would end it with her.
I'm super super super uncomfortable about it and I can't really get it out of my head or shake how slutty it is (I'm definitely not a one night stand kind of guy)
Am I overreacting? how can I get over it? should I end it?
thxthxthxthx
TL;DR: | gf had a threesome kinda and i find it really slutty/weird shall I end it with her |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: NSV - Got Bad News, Still Got Up and Did My Workout.
POST: I've lost about 65lbs since April, and this week I started the C25k program. I got up at 7am today to start W1D2 when I spoke to my father before leaving the house. He told me he has cancer.
We talked, I cried, we discussed his options and then I hung up the phone. I spoke to my boyfriend, and spent a little time hugging and sobbing in his arms... not sounding very victorious right now I know, but bear with me.
After I finished processing the news, I put my running shoes on, grabbed my water and my iPod, and went out and kicked the pavement's ass completing today's C25k workout. Not only did I not use this as an excuse to stay in bed, but I felt BETTER during and after completing the workout. Yes, my father is still sick, but going for a jog, helped me cope. Normally I would have used this as an excuse to stay inside all day, crying, and gorging myself of junk food. Today, I went for a run and came home to a breakfast of strawberries, nectarines and some light cheese and crackers.
TL;DR: | Got really bad news today, but have learned to cope with stress through healthy means like exercise, rather than junk food and self pitty. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18 M] / my girlfriend [18 F] of 6 months, is talking to multiple other "guy friends" should I be concerned, what should I do?
POST: okay, I'll be short and to the point. My girlfriend has always had other guy friends, which I'm okay with, I've met them, or I already knew them, since me and her share a group of friends, and I trust them.
But, recently she's been talking to another guy she met at work, a lot. She's texted him in front of me repeatedly, and one time I saw him make a sexual "joke" to her, and I talked to her about it and she said she'd talk to him, about it but I don't know if she ever actually did anything.
And she's been talking to another guy who she knows from school that added her on snapchat, and she told me that he was only talking to her for sex, and that it insulted her. But apparently he asked for her number, and she gave it to them, and I don't know how much she talks to him.
What should I do, how should I take this? Should I be worried?
TL;DR: | my girlfriend is talking to other guys, and I don't know what to do, or if it should bother me as much as it does. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My girlfriend(24f) has a high sex drive while I(28m) have a low one.
POST: Everything in our relationship is excellent we get on well have similar interests and cope well together and apart except for she's very touchy feely and I'm not.
When it comes to the sex itself when we have it, it is good and feels great, the problem being I very rarely feel the need to have it, while she would have it 10 times a day if possible.
I've explained the situation about my low sex drive to her and she says she understands but often goes quiet and acts dejected when I turn her down. I do love her very much but in some ways find sex gross and would rather masturbate to avoid the mess I know this is a fault of mine but I don't know if she really understands or if she should even put up with me.
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TL;DR: | ) girlfriend wants sex alot, I don't how can I make her understand its not a rejection of her as a person. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22F] with male friend [24 M], 2 years, is my male friend hitting on me?
POST: I have had a male friend for 2 years now, there was never anything sexual or romantical between us. He have slept with one of my best friends, and 3-4 acquaintances of me. Needless to say, he gets around. He was there for me when my best friend lost her mother to cancer, and I was there for him when his cousin died of lung cancer. We have already established that there will not be anything more than friendship between us.
But, now that I'm actually in a relationship I feel that he tries to sabotage. The relationship is currently long distance, and he have been in one that did not work out, so he's very negative. I feel that he tries to get more physical now than before, but it could be all in my head because I don't want to get anywhere close to cheating.
He still sleeps around, and I high five him when he does. But he keeps on teasing me that I should break up and live my life. In that meaning, sleep around like he does. We had more fun then, comparing stories and such. And when I confront him about it he says he only teases me.
Should I talk to my boyfriend about this? I don't want him to have to think about something that's probably in my head. In general, what should I do to stop thinking and over analyze this?
TL;DR: | I think my male friend is hitting on me, and that is not good for mye long distance relationship. Is he hitting on me, and how do I get this to stop without seeming like a conceited woman? |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: [IA] Husband injured at work, does he have a case for a lawsuit?
POST: Hello, throwaway from Iowa here.
My husband crushed his finger in a piece of machinery at his workplace (large food manufacturer) because a safety guard that was supposed to be on the machine was missing. He told me it was common knowledge that the safety guard was almost never in place, and when it was it was duct-taped up instead of properly bolted down. He will be seeing a hand specialist for surgery and they haven't given us a prognosis yet, but he works with his hands so any long-term damage could be detrimental to his livelihood. I know that Worker's Comp will cover any costs related to the injury, but I'm just curious if there is any basis to file a lawsuit. I should also add that he does maintenance on the machinery, so according to him it is "sort of" his job to make sure that the safety guards are in place, however he doesn't usually work on this piece of machinery and, like I said, the guard had just been getting duct-taped up for a while so there was no way that supervision couldn't have known about it.
Another thing is that a co-worker (who typically works on that piece of machinery) is saying that he DID make sure the guard was in place and that it must have fallen off (or something to that effect), and my husband is currently on paid suspension "pending investigation". I'm just especially worried because this company has a history of trying to screw my husband over (trying to get him fired on technicalities and miscommunication, such as giving him 24 hours to correct a problem they'd known about for months and never brought up to him).
TL;DR: | husband was hurt at work due to a safety mechanism not being in place, wondering if there is a possible case for lawsuit. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Are there any young, educated Americans who still think the US has been a positive influence on the world? Or is that as relegated to the "Amurikaaaa" Religious Right?
POST: The main stereotype of Americans internationally is one of the uber-patriotic Republican who clings to American exceptionalism and a belief that America is god's gift to the world.
Yet on Reddit, which I feel like is a more candid window into American society, the overarching sentiment seems to be one in line with the rest of the world: that America is a modern day empire with a deplorable human rights record and a hypocritical legacy of mistreating its own people that undermines its claims of championing freedom and democracy.
So do I have the pulse? Or am I missing something? Would any young, educated Americans make the argument that American hegemony is good for the world, or that we shouldn't be happy to see China and the BRICS rising as a counterweight?
TL;DR: | Americans on Reddit seem to be as skeptical/critical of America as the rest of the world. Do any of you have anything good to say about it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [20/F] with [21/M] for 3 months -- Forced to move: long-distance, break up, or live with me?
POST: I've been in a relationship with a guy for a bit over 3 months now. Everything has been going fabulously well. We both love and care for each other very much for the short amount of time we've been together, and that only continues to grow every day.
He lives with his parents about 30 minutes from me, which I don't mind the trek at all. As it turns out, his father has put his house for sale, and it's been on the market for about 4 years.
So just last week, they found a buyer. His parents plan on moving out of state, while my boyfriend wishes to remain in the same area because of friends, familiarity, and of course, me.
I offered to take him in to where I live with my mother and brother. The financial agreements are borderline cumbersome, but he believes he can handle it. He is a high school drop-out without a driver's license or resume. I'm a high school graduate with 2 years driving experience. It will be rather difficult for him to get a new job closer to where I/he could potentially be living.
I'm looking for any advice/suggestions on the matter. We've been in a relationship for 3 months. Moving in together seems a LOT too soon, according to my principles and just for practical reasons. I'm wondering if I've made the right decision. Should I have offered him a place to stay here because he doesn't want to go anywhere else? If he stays here, he won't have anywhere else to live but with my family and myself. Or should I let him go?
I should mention I have no patience for long-distance relationships. It doesn't work for me. If this makes me a bad person/partner, so be it. I've been in LDRs before. We'll both be completely miserable either way: breaking up or being in different states.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend's parents move, has the option of staying with me. Should he stay with me or try long-distance or should we simply break up? Wat do. Suggestions and advice. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Parenting
TITLE: Daughters phone stolen / missing whodunnit?
POST: My wife recently took my daughter to a house party to meet up with a group of friends and their kids. They all know each other because they all went to the same school up until September last year as they all went off to different high schools. So there was about 8-9 kids boys and girls aged 11-12 all known each other since the age of 5 and all good friends. They were very happy to see each other again. As the night went on they all bring out ipods, phones, tablets etc and go inside. At some point my daughters phone is missing and everyone looks for it to no avail. A girl (daughters best friend here) finds just the case for it in living room. It was last seen in the garden still on the phone and my daughter never removed it from case so something is fishy. My wife asks all the kids to look in their bags etc and again its not found. Fast forward 2 weeks and a million sms messages later and none of the kids have said anything despite questioning from parents. I have been to the house and awkwardly searched for it and believe the parents that live there have searched thoroughly too.
My daughter is very upset both at losing it (she saved up for over 8 months to contribute 1/2 to buy it) and the fact one of her friends has done this to her.
Both my wife and I feel so helpless as we have suspicions as to who it might be based on previous behavior but all we can do is accept their and their parents word.
My daughter no longer wants to go to dance class because the girl she thinks is responsible is in the same class.
TL;DR: | ? Some little biatch stole, hid or binned my kids phone and I can't beat up little kids to get an answer from someone!! |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Need help with what kind of doctor to see next.
POST: This is my first post that isn't a reply.
I have been experiencing abdominal pain for the last few years. It started out with constipation about 4 years ago and has been getting more frequent. 2 years ago, I had food allergy tests done, which came back negative. I have had a gall bladder scan done and it came back fine. I have also had an endoscopy and colonoscopy which were fine.
Last year I was fed up and went to my gynecologist and she thought there was a possibility of endometriosis. I went on birth control (never had the need before because I'm married to a woman if you catch my drift) and the pain subsided for awhile until a few months ago. My gyno had told me the only definitive way to diagnose endometriosis was an exploratory laproscopic procedure. I had the surgery 2 days ago and everything came back normal and healthy.
I am at a loss as to what to do next. I know I'm not imagining my stomach pains and lethargy but so far nothing is showing to be wrong. I'm making an appointment with my dad's neurologist (he has Parkinson's) as a next step but I don't know if it is where I should be going.
Sorry for the long post, any grammatical errors or posting in the wrong area, I'm still on drugs from the surgery.
TL;DR: | 27yo female, has had cameras in her insides from several angles, can't find the source of abdominal pain. Needs suggestions. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What are some of the best "subtle revenge" stories you have heard or taken part in?
POST: Back Story: Four months ago I learned that my wife of 4 years was cheating on me. This was not a onetime "accidental" thing. According to the information I can gather, it was going on for a minimum of 6 months, with regular weekly meetings. In an attempt to understand, and to reconcile, I agreed to couple's counseling. She promised that all communication with the man would stop, that I would never have anything to worry about again, and that she was going to be completely upfront and honest with me. Counseling was going well. We had our ups and downs, but the overarching trend was positive, hopeful.
Fast forward to the day before Valentine's Day. I happen to wake up at 1:30am to find her sending an email to the same guy she was having the affair with. They were planning a rendezvous for that day while I was at work. I flipped the FUCK out, packed some bags and walked out.
To further complicate the situation, the man she was fucking is a coworker of mine (someone I once called friend) and someone I have to see at least two or three times a week. And here is where the "Subtle Revenge" comes in. I absolutely must save face at work so I can't react the way I want to. I am hoping to live vicariously through my fellow reddit trolls. Revenge is a dish best served cold ... and in small agonizing bites. What are some of the ways you have subtly fucked with someone without drawing attention to yourself?
TL;DR: | Wife of 4 years had a 6 month affair with a coworker (former friend) of mine. I still have to work with him and need to live through your stories of subtle revenge. |
SUBREDDIT: r/self
TITLE: Comedic geniuses of reddit, I need your help [x-post from AskReddit where it sank like a rock. :-)]
POST: I know there are some truly amazing wits on this site, and sadly, I'm not one of them.
My daughter and I are running a small side business making geeky jewelry and other gaming/geek novelties. We're hoping to go to Connecticon this summer, we're just waiting for Artist's Alley registration to open.
Anyway, we want to make some T-shirts to wear while manning our booth so that we can look a little more professional. We've got a logo and all that stuff. The shop is called "Loki's Lucky Charms" (I won't link to it because I don't want people to think I'm spamming) and most of our stuff is keychains and pendants made from d20's (you know, twenty sided dice) and most have a strong Dungeons & Dragons influence.
TL;DR: | We need a catchy/funny/maybe-risque-but-still-passes-network-censors slogan for our T-shirts, representing our shop |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Sudden realizations?
POST: I'm a 19 year old living with my Mother in Upstate New York. My Mom is from South America. she moved to the US when she was 18, when my Dad took a trip to her country and met her. My Dad left my Mother when I was 3. With almost no money to her name and bills piling up, my grandparents(her in-laws) have been helping her out ever since.
I've always been distant from my Mother, choosing instead to spend most of my time out with friends as most teenagers do. We never eat dinner together, never talk about our day, constantly argue. I used to always chalk it up to her trying to control my life, and I wanted my freedom. I'm sure you've all been there.
My Mother currently works 12 hour shifts at a local hospital, so most days I have the house to myself. I enjoy it a lot, because it lets me come and go as I please without having to explain myself.
I got home a few nights ago. I have no idea what brought my mind to this topic (might've been the Sigur Ros playing on the drive home), but I suddenly realized that besides her relatives in South America(which she only sees once every few years), I'm her closest blood relative and only child. And I treat her like a ghost.
Not only that but it must be absolute torture to look at someone everyday that reminds you of someone that you used to love, someone that broke your heart.
I'm not ashamed to say that I cut a few onions...as soon as she got home from work there was a warm mug of tea waiting for her and a hug. I looked at her like i've never looked at her before, and we watched a few episodes of Adventure Time together later that night.
TL;DR: | Was a dick to my divorced mom for most of my life, when in reality i'm one of the only things in this world that she cares about. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26 M] and my girlfriend [22 F] of 4 years broke up last month and I'm not sure if i should text her
POST: We had a good run together but the only reason we made it past 3 years is because of all the effort i put into the relationship. She didn't put enough to keep it going, she pretty much stopped trying. We started arguing more often and it was only a ticking time bomb. The best way i know to get over someone is to completely block them from your life. So i blocked her from all my social media.
My problem is, we had a gym membership together where she was the main account holder. Its been 8 days since the last payment has been charged. I tried cancelling the membership but only the main account holder can. Now her sister is dating my best friend, i can give him the money to him to give to her to pay for the gym but i kinda of want to do it myself. I want to text her and speak to her because I'm starting to miss her.. It would be the perfect excuse. I would want nothing more but to make this work again but i don't want to fool myself or hurt myself even more. Who knows maybe shes feeling the same way missing me, maybe we just needed time away.
TL;DR: | GF and I broke up last month. Best way i know to get over someone is to loose all communications, but although I'm angry i miss her and want to text her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [17M] have literally no idea how to talk to women
POST: Dont know if this is allowed but, As the title says I have no idea how to talk to women, especially those of whom I find attractive. No idea how to socialize or even show that im interested in them. It might be some anxiety that I dont notice as Im generally a really happy person.
From the time I was young, whenever I would show interest in a girl my mom would always like bother me about it, sort of like bugging me because she thought it was "cute". She doesnt bother me about it anymore but at this point in time. Im not allowed to go a girls house and they arent allowed at my house. Even if i would be allowed to have a girl over my mom would have to be home and "supervising" which makes me uncomfortable.
Now that I got that all out of the way. How could I overcome the anxiety/nervousness. What are confidence boosters in this situation. Anything will help
TL;DR: | I have a hard time talking to females Im interested in. Probably stems from being bothered by my mother about it when i was young. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Ex-girlfriend [23F] "fell out of love" with me [22M]. How do I accept this and move on?
POST: Title explains a lot - check my post history if you want more background on the situation.
About ten weeks ago my ex-girlfriend and I broke up, and I've been starting to do better. I'm very casually seeing another girl, and we've had nothing but fun together. Not gonna push that any further until I'm truly ready.
We had a "closure" talk a few days ago - mainly to stop ourselves from awkwardly avoiding eachother on campus. I got a few explanations, but I don't like the amount of empathy I had for her situation. She said she emotionally checked out two months before we actually ended it, and nothing I could have done could have improved anything. I was apparently an amazing boyfriend, and her feelings "just changed". If I was such an amazing boyfriend, then why did her feelings change?
I know there's no point to me even trying to get an explanation, but I can't get the question out of my head of what caused her feelings to change. She said she can't pinpoint any specific thing that caused her feelings to change. That in mind, how do I stop blaming myself for this? How do I stop feeling like I fucked up my one chance at happiness?
TL;DR: | Closure talks don't work. How do I stop blaming myself for her changing feelings, and accept that sometimes it just happens? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm being set up with a girl I don't know but am interested in, and could use some advice
POST: Hey Reddit, got a situation here I could use some help with.
I'm 24 and I've been single for nearly 2 months now. Previously, I was in solid LTRs (explanation below) for roughly 6-7 years and I'm completely out of practice as far as the dating scene goes. My recent experiences show that I have a tendency to get friendzoned before anything happens.
Well, my sister had the idea to set me up with a girl my age that is in her performance group. I agree and get a name, do some facebook stalking so I know who to look out for, and a few days later I go to a performance. Then after the performance I go to where they're cleaning up and my sister introduces her to our mom and myself. I couldn't think of anything I could do or say in the situation with the overbearing-ness that was my sister and mom standing right there. So I introduced myself and that's about it. I am sure I came across as shy. We made eye contact for only a couple seconds.
I'm definitely interested and don't want to mess it up.
So basically at this point I don't know any of her contact info and we're not friends on facebook. I'm looking for tips on how to proceed. I found the [how to flirt guide] this morning, is there anything similar I could reference? Should I let my sister continue to set us up or should I step in? When should I take the reins?
LTR Explanation: For the last 6-7 years I suppose you could say I took the "easy way out" and simply started a relationship with an old girlfriend from high school or something. From what I remember, very little was needed in the way of flirting or building attraction, as I already knew them fairly well before we started dating.
TL;DR: | Sister is setting me up with a stranger, but she thinks we'd be good together. Briefly met her and I am interested. How to not mess it up? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [27 M] with my girlfriend [24 M/F] 18 month relationship, How can I break up with her when nothing is going wrong?
POST: I have been dating a girl for 18 months and I know that it is time to move on. I know myself well enough to realize that that we are not fully compatible. All of our conversations have become stale and repetitive along with all of our time spent together.
The problem here is that she adores me. I don't want to hurt her too badly most of all. Her family lives in Alaska and we live in Atlanta (not together) where she has a couple of friends but no one really close.
I think about breaking up all the time, even when we are together but it doesn't stop me from acting like nothing is wrong. This break-up is going to be coming out of nowhere for her, so I really need advice on how to go about this.
TL;DR: | I need to break up with my girlfriend who is still in love with me in a way that won't destroy her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [26F] get insanely angry at my boyfriend [28 M] for "helping" me with programming?
POST: When I get help on an assignment, that help turns into him doing the hard parts for me, or not coming up with the solution together. He blurts out the solution. That makes me feel like I'm not good enough to wait for and hear what I have to say. He'd rather take over and show me how good he is at what I'm trying to learn. Then I get a voice in my head saying "does this person actually care about me, or themselves?" "Do they actually want to see me succeed or just know that they were a huge part in helping me succeed by giving me the answers."
All I want to do is talk out the question as that helps me get to the answer. But he can't seem to help himself when working together. Sometimes I need help understanding a question etc, but he changes my train of thought to what he would rather do. We've talked about this a 100 times. I said if I need your help on how to solve it, then I will ask you.
I feel so angry I want to cry. I feel angry because I don't feel good enough to learn anything on my own. I can't solve complex things and its so hard for me to grasp what I'm trying to do. So when someone comes along and changes my train of thought, I want to KILL THEM. Its already frustrating on its own to have to try and figure out the solution. But then someone comes along and shows you why your solution sucks. EVERYTIME. 1/10 times I solve something. The other 9 is someone solving it faster or better than me. I probably have pride issues also because I want to be able to solve a logical problem on my own, at least a few times, to feel competent enough to then understand someone elses thought processes....
TL;DR: | Just feel like crap and want to rant.... Hopefully someone out there can teach me on how to deal with my anger better when it comes to my pride. |
SUBREDDIT: r/travel
TITLE: Need some advice on my specific predicament regarding Turkey
POST: I know there have been a ton of posts on here about whether it's safe or not to travel Europe, all of which have been quite helpful and I've taken into account. I'm 18 yrs old (M) from Australia currently on my gap year, and I plan to go travelling for a couple of months in June.
I'm of the belief that you shouldn't let terror affect where you should travel; however, I am also Jewish, and as a such come from a typically conservative and neurotic community.
Turkey is one of the highest places on my list of places to go, but the group I was travelling with have decided that due to the recent attacks, they don't think it's safe enough to go anymore (a response we both view as an overreaction). My twin brother and I want to travel Turkey on our own - we thought maybe its better we aren't in such a large group. We plan on flying from Israel (a country that has sent numerous warnings not to travel Turkey and suggested all Jewish people leave) straight to Istanbul, and then catch a connecting flight down to the south-west coast for a couple of days (Bodrum/Ölüdeniz/Fethiye). Can anyone who has been to this area of Turkey please offer their opinion - are my brother and I naive to think it is safe to travel Turkey coming from Israel, or is our slight paranoia unwarranted?
TL;DR: | Two Aussie Jews want to travel Turkey on their own for a couple of days. Good idea or not worth it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU By going to a girls house.
POST: When I was 12 or 13 we lived in a small Australian town near melbourne, And on my street there was a very cute girl who lived next to me and she talked to me a lot, She invited me in and she had VERY strict parents, we went to her room and she showed me her pet mice, they were pretty cute and stuff, And as we went up to get a drink I stepped on one and murdered it horribly :(, She was ahead of me and didn't see it so I quickly put it in my pocket and asked to go to the bathroom, So I was panicking and I flushed it down the toilet and I thought all would be well, So we went back after getting some drinks and she asks where the white one went, I say "I dont know maybe he ran out of your room or something" So they went searching for it for a good 10 minutes, And then her dad comes out of the bathroom with a dead mouse thats all wet, He started to yell at me a lot after I told him what happened (VERY Strict) So I just left and then we never EVER heard from them ever again, They moved away a few weeks later. And being young I felt incredibly bad for this. The worst part was he told my mum and my friends knew aswell, Got used to being called the mouse murderer for a while, Oh how that was fun.
TL;DR: | Killed some girls pet mouse and got yelled at a lot by her Asian parents and everyone at school knew and got called mouse murderer for a good year or so. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me[19f] with my Boyfriend[21] of 3 months, I can't deal with his crazy mother[47?f] any more.
POST: My boyfriend is the best thing that has happened to me. In no way is this his fault. I just can't deal with his obviously bi-polar mother.
When we first started hanging out, I noticed his mom was a little odd, but nothing I couldn't handle. She wasn't very talkative and didn't seem to be too fond of me.
Now That it has been 3 months, she flips out at him for the smallest things. She flips out because he's 'never home and never spends time with her' but whenever he asks her to do something, she says no or she never asks him to play pool or play cards with her.
I always try my best to say hi to her and ask her how she is doing, but she just sounds like I shouldn't be talking to her and she replies in like short angry-sounding one word answers. She got mad at him while I was over for some stupid reason and the next day, I was a little too freaked to say hi and after I left she interrogated him asking him why I never greeted her.
She cries all the time for no reason then the next she'll be 'happy', I guess? He thinks she may be bi-polar just because of the frequent mood-swings, but he knows she would never go see anyone.
I love my boyfriend, but I HATE going to his house because I know his mother will be there and its almost becoming a deal breaker for me.
TL;DR: | My boyfriends mother is a rude, possibly bi-polar woman and I'm thinking about ending it because I can't deal with her anymore. |
SUBREDDIT: r/running
TITLE: Follow up : IT Band recovery
POST: 25 days ago, I made a post about IT Band issues I was having and received a bunch of advice :
I wanted to follow up to post what worked for me, where I'm at in recovery, etc:
a) I trust my Osteopath 100%. I did everything she told me to do, nothing else. She is awesome.
b) A bunch of people recommended an IT Band strap. I didn't try it so nothing to report there.
c) My Osteopath put me on a slow-ish recovery that included:
* still running - taking it easy, lots of warmup (stretching, walking 10 minutes before running), but I still ran. Some runs sucked, but it got better.
* she used massage to get "the gunk out". The first appointment, I was in bad shape, but it kept getting better.
* lots of recovery - foam roller, hot epsom salt jet baths, stretching, etc.
* strengthening exercises for my glutes, core.
It's been slow, but I am happy to report that I'm now running pain free. I was out yesterday and ran a (very hilly) 19k. It was a bit slower than I normally would have gone, but there was only one point where I felt a twinge in my knee - I immediately dropped to a walk for about 30-45 seconds and it didn't come back.
It does mean that I'm dropping from the marathon to a half-marathon in a couple of weeks, but ... I'm still running! I just wanted to post because if you get on Google and start a self-diagnosis, the common sentiment seems to be that you'll need to sit out for at least a couple of weeks. Find a good therapist, and that doesn't need to be true.
TL;DR: | IT Band issues does not always mean you have to stop running. Recovery is not pleasant and can be frustrating, but it's possible! |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: The person who had my dream job no longer works there - advice on how I can snag the job?
POST: I recently moved to a new city, and I'm looking for work in a field that is related to by not exactly the work I've done in the past. In addition to applying for lots of jobs, I've also been conducting informational interviews with people who have the kind of job I'm looking for, and have my background.
Last week, I had an informational interview with someone who suggest I contact a lady at x company because she has a similar background to me and is doing exactly the work I want to do.
This morning, I sent an email to the lady and received an auto-reply that she no longer works with x company, and emails should be directed to her supervisor. This must have happened very recently, because her name is still on the website. I have no other way to contact the lady.
So, my thinking is this now could mean there's a position available, which was currently held by someone with a similar background. Of course, I have no idea what happened to the lady, or if they're going to be replacing her. But, I am wondering if/how I could potentially get in contact with her supervisor before they even post the job opening. Would be professional to simply send my resume and letter of interest to the supervisor, explaining how I found out about the open position? What's the best way to go about this? This is completely out of my comfort zone, but I know I need to be aggressive to get a job. Any advice on how to handle this tactfully would be much appreciated.
TL;DR: | discovered the person who had my dream job no longer has the job for unknown reasons. How can I make a good impression and potentially snag this job before it's posted? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [28 M] and my girlfriend [24 F] dating 4 months, I feel a lack of emotional intimacy from her.
POST: My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 6 months. We've been official for about 4. When I met her, we had amazing dates. We talked the entire time and I found out all these interests she has. She mentioned how she's PASSIONATE about comics, makeup, TV, anime, and other things.
However, upon getting to know her better. I realized she wasn't really THAT passionate about comics, doesn't really like TV (zones out mostly and can't watch something that requires paying attention to), and has only watched about 3 or 4 different anime. I thought these were things she was passionate about.
I hang with her every day, but the more I get to know her the more I realize she lacks a lot of passion and generally struggles to express herself. I feel our conversations are mostly superficial. She responds mostly with closed ended responses and isn't great at all at maintaining a conversation. I want her to open up to me and really tell me how she's feeling because I feel this will create more of an emotional connection, but it's been getting frustrating.
When we were first seeing each other, I thought she was playing hard to get with her short closed ended responses, but upon getting to know her better I realized she just lacks a personality. As hard as that is to say.
She's beautiful, caring, great listener, great cook, independent, and ambitious so I'd love to work on this. I really care about her and just want to stop falling in and out of feeling connected. One week I feel in love with her, another I don't.
If something bothers me, I let her know. She's the type to hold it all in until it blows up. Only once has she really opened up and told me how she felt about something I was doing. She couldn't stop crying when she did.
P.S She suffers from panic attacks and anxiety. She's had two crazy panic attacks since we've been together. Don't know if this would help.
TL;DR: | My girlfriend struggles to express herself and it's making me feel disconnected from her. How can I increase the emotional intimacy we have? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (25F) boyfriend (24M) of 8 months is gone for 6 weeks - how do I cope?
POST: Hello all,
First off, I'd like to begin by saying that I know and acknowledge that *many* people go through this, and sometimes for much longer periods of time! So I can definitely appreciate that others have even longer separations that I.
However, this is the first time I have ever been separated from a significant other for longer than a few days. My boyfriend has gone home to his home country for several weeks, and then is traveling around a bit with some friends for a couple weeks before returning home (gone a total of 6 weeks). I want to stress that I *have no problem with this*. We enjoyed the last couple days before he left and he went away with both of us confident in how much we loved and cared for each other.
My boyfriend and I work in the same department, and live very close by to each other. We were friends before we were dating and saw each other every day even then. As is such, since we starting dating 8 months ago I have seen him in person at least once a day *every single day*, even if it's just a quick kiss or a 5 minute break together.
He left at the start of this week, and I have been lost ever since. We don't get to communicate often because of the time difference, and for the first few days he was just in transit.
I feel quite silly and ridiculous for feeling this upset, but I've never been through this before and it's just too much for me at the moment. I get upset so easily right now and I can't seem to envision the end of the road.
Does anyone have any tips for me? I go to the gym, swim, talk to friends, and yet I still seem to have managed to become the overly-attached girlfriend that I always tried so hard not to be.
TL;DR: | My boyfriend is gone for six weeks. I am stuck at home. His office is across from mine and I can see his empty desk every day and it seems like the end of the six weeks will never come. Help? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: my [26/F] boyfriend [26/M] of 10 years just spent way too much money on a ring.
POST: he proposed the day before thanksgiving. i'm thrilled at the idea of being his wife but he is almost 10k in debt for the engagement ring + wedding band and we each only make 14-16k per year. i don't give two shits about diamonds!
i'm not bragging. our finances are mostly joint and we pay very little money to rent a room in a friend's tiny house which is ultimately shared among 4-5 people. it's not terrible, but it was intended as a temporary arrangement, and i hated the loss of independence in going from an apartment that was *just ours* to a place where i need to hide to get some personal space (plus all the other standard "roommate complaints," dishes/food sharing/etc.).
what i'm saying is that we put just enough money in our joint account to cover bills, gas, and food for us. we don't go out to bars, we don't go to concerts, we don't do... anything. we went on vacation once and that was only because his parents were willing to share their cabin with us.
we've talked about this many times before and he agreed with me that experiences are far more valuable than things. i want to travel and be a citizen of the world with him!
i feel like we're trapped in this house with no hope of independence, travel, or even a rainy day fund because of his purchase. he's hurt that i don't trust him to handle this. i know he will be responsible and pay it off, but i'm convinced it comes at the cost of actually improving our lives. i can't pay for our wedding alone, i can't take us on vacation alone... i have $600 to my name after a year of saving.
i've already voiced my concerns, but only gingerly, because what good would it do? i don't want to hurt him. but i never wanted this. we could have gone on ten vacations with that money. we could have had a down payment on a house! he will definitely have it paid off in a year, but that's a year we could have been saving...
TL;DR: | how do i (should i?) tell my best friend and fiancee that he wasted a crazy amount of money on some fancy shit that i never wanted? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [16 F] friendship with my [16 M] best friend is suffering because I have a [17 M] boyfriend.
POST: I've been friends with this guy for a year now- he's wonderful and we have glorious, 3 am adventures and generally have brilliant fun.
Generic teenage drama plot twist; I have recently acquired a boyfriend, a 17 M who I really, really like. I've known him since I was 13, and he's endlessly sweet to me, a gentleman, and a lovely study partner.
When I first mentioned that I was going on a date, my friend looked quite shocked, so I laughed and he laughed and we ate waffles. When he found out I was serious, he looked like his grandmother died, and he completely shut down after he drove home that night.
Three weeks later, I'm super pleased with my boyfriend but haven't talked to my best friend in a week.
I am so worried.
I have two questions.
I love my best friend with all my heart, and he's a really open guy. If he wanted to be in a spastic teenage relationship thing with me, why didn't he say something?
Is there anyway I can fix it without hurting either one of them?
I really like my boyfriend, and I really like my best friend, but in totally different ways. I feel like in gaining this wonderful, month-long romantic relationship, I'm loosing a wonderful, year long friendship. It's such a struggle.
TL;DR: | My friendship with [16M] is suffering because of new boyfriend, [17M]. Teenage drama is dumb, can I fix it without hurting one of them? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: awesome relationship w/ gf 10 years older than me, but i've lost my sexual desire for her.. HELP
POST: OK, so I am 24, she is 34 and have been dating for a little over a year and a half. The relationship has been fantastic and without faults, minus the elephant in the room. Her sex drive has always been through the roof, and mine is pretty high as well. I just have gotten used to having sex with her; causing me to lose interest. I have no problem being with her if I'm already horny, but I never think about having sex with her. I'm always thinking of what it would be like with other girls, sometimes younger girls who have the bodies to go with it. What is killing me is that this woman is my best friend, an awesome partner and if it wasn't for this issue everything would be PERFECT. I'm scared I'm not sexually attracted to her anymore and am not sure what to do? Any ideas?
TL;DR: | Attractive cougar girlfriend is awesome, but I'm an idiot and don't want to bang her anymore. Feel like shit for it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Is it normal to develop a new phobia in your 20s?
POST: For most of my life, I never had any sort of issue with water. Yet recently I've found myself feeling more and more uneasy about two things: murky water, and deep sea creatures. It's not tied to any sort of incident; I can't think of a good reason why I'd suddenly start being creeped out by it. The first instance I can think of when I felt this way was this past summer -- I was swimming in a lake, and looking around under the water when some sand got kicked up or something, because things became quite murky. Even though I was in water that was maybe 7 feet deep tops and there was no danger whatsoever, not being able to see in front of me made me feel really uncomfortable. More recently, I was in a natural history museum looking at taxidermied animals, and came across some of the deep sea fish, with their long teeth and alien-looking bodies. Shit literally gave me goosebumps and chills. And just now, I clicked [this link] on r/nosleep, and it freaked me the fuck out. They're just dolphins!
TL;DR: | Suddenly I'm afraid of murky water and thoughts of underwater creatures, even though I was never worried about it for the first 20 or so years of my life. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Minimum Credit req.'s for FHA loan? (Credit history in text)
POST: My wife and I are finally "stable" in that we both have decent jobs (for this economy). Our combined income will be roughly $50k next year, and we are looking to improve our credit and purchase a modest home. I lost my job a few years ago when the economy tanked and made some poor credit decisions to put food on the table (maxed my credit cards, made minimum payments and they finally went into delinquency when I couldn't pay; totaling ~$4300 with three derogatory marks on my credit).
I am finally paying all the collections accounts down, and am about 60-70% of the way there. I am also looking at secured cards to start rebuilding my credit score, which is a lowly ~570 at the moment. I am hoping that that will bring my score up enough to open up more credit in the next 6 months to a year, and thus bring my score up further.
If I am able to get my score up to the minimum ~650-680 in a year, would the collections accounts still prevent me from getting approved? What sort of timeline/credit score should I expect before a ~$75-100k mortgage is even a possibility?
TL;DR: | Will collections accounts from ~2-3 years ago prevent me from getting an FHA loan despite meeting the minimum credit score requirements? If so, how can I remedy the situation, or how long until I might actually qualify? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (21M) have mad a huge mistake regarding my GF (18F). Twice.
POST: I met her at a party after over a year of being single. I was a bit buzzed and she's moderately cute, so I started talking to her. I got her number and we dated for a month, after which I knew I needed to get out. She's not what I want in a girl, the age difference and maturity range is too wide, and the attraction just isn't there. Most of the time.
She was completely blindsided because no matter how I feel in a relationship, I keep a straight face and treat the girl like a princess.
We met to give eachother's stuff back, and my dumb ass said if we take things slow and she gives me space, we could make it work. Fastforward two months and she's back to trying to suffokate me so bad I just need to get out and look for someone more suited for me. I don't mind a moderately clingy girl if I'm equally as infatuated, but I'm just not. I know I brought this apon myself. And I feel like the biggest dick for all of this, but no matter how much she asks if things are going the way they did before, I just keep saying everything is fine.
I need some sort of advice to hurt her as little as possible. I know the truth is generally the best option, but I'm having a hard time figuring out how to unfuck this whole thing. What makes it worse is that she's trying so hard to make things work, and to not let it happen again, but I need to end things again. We need to break up.
I know it was a mistake, all of it, and I need your help.
TL;DR: | I'm seeing a girl I don't want to, but after breaking up the first time I got graduation goggles and got back together with her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: Almost to good to be true
POST: Gotta share this... I sent in my resume for what was described as a data entry administrator position for a global organization headquartered in my hometown. I passed a phone screening and an in-person evaluation. This morning, I had my first ever interview on Skype with their hiring manager based overseas.
Some background on me... I've been working what I consider a dead end job since I was 17. I advanced from floor staff to management and I've been in that role since 2001. I'm 33 now, still working for the company I started out with many years ago. It's a publically traded organization. Not that that's a bad thing. It just means that the effort my colleagues and I put in often get lost in executive decisions tailored to the shareholders, and I just don't have the passion to advance any further with them. Wages for my line of work, compared to similar positions elsewhere, are far below average and a recent survey showed 65% of those surveyed felt salary was not sufficient regardless of role. Our company employs over 25,000.
Fast forward... the position I applied for is with a company that operates globally with offices in strategically located cities to allow operations around the clock. It's entry level and pays a little less than I make now, but I'm actually ok with that. Because I found out they have amazing benefits available on day 1, generous paid vacations and holidays, good opportunities to advance, and a philanthropic program that allows the trade of paid days off for volunteer work. I know nothing of the business they do and I don't have a degree. I've gone on my experience and faith in my ability. But so far I've nailed the interviews and put myself out there as someone who's very interested in learning new things, developing professionally, contributing to the success of the organization, and taking pride in knowing that I can achieve anything.
My interviewer today said the organization is a good fit for someone like me. I guess sometimes, you don't find the best opportunities...the best opportunities find you. And if I get offered the position, for once in my life I can say that I'm proud of what I do. Until then, my fingers are crossed.
TL;DR: | Been in a dead end job, have potential to be hired by an amazing company, passed all the screenings and interviews so far. Fingers are crossed |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19 M] with my Gf [17F] about 1 year, I can't break up with her or shouldn't i?
POST: I'm together with my girlfriend since November 2012. In May last year she break up with me for no real reason. She was my world and really nothing bad happend.
One Month later she came together with her dancing partner. Than later in August i think she write again to me and said that she is really sorry and repent everything. She hate her dancing partner he layed violent hands on and she didn'd even slept with him. She want me back and would do everything for me. After about 2 weeks of writing i was ready to give her a second chance.
---
When i met her after this 4 months without her a was really really happy to have her back, but since November i am not sure about our relationship cause its not the same feeling. Sometimes i dont feel well when she is with me and some things really disturb me. The thing is I already talked to her and she said she would change everything for me just if i'm together with her. And somtetimes she said she said she got some selfkilling thoughts and i am the only person who prevents her from this. I mean is this normal that I feel this way after a time or should i break up? I really dont know what to do.
TL;DR: | I cant give my girlfriend the feeling of "I love you" back and I cant even say it to her because I am not sure about our relationship |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My girlfriend [19 F] keeps telling me [18 M] how she is sad about breaking up with her ex
POST: So I dated this girl about 3 years ago until she left me for another guy. Admittedly I had a lot to do with it because I didn't give her as much attention as she wanted.
After our break up we stayed good friends and chatted once in a while. She told me about him and how he's mean to her and puts a lot of restrictions on her.
Recently she got fed with him and decided to break up with him for good (they "broke up" multiple times prior to this). So after breaking up with him she tells me she wants to get back together and I say why not.
Ever since we gotten back together, she tells me how she is sad about her ex. I'm no expert in relationships but I feel constantly mentioning your ex is not a good thing.
She tells me how how he messages her and tries to make her feel bad even though I told her to stop talking to him and block him.
I'm not sure how to feel or what to tell her. I've been taking this cautiously because it feels like she is using me as a substitute.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend who I got back together with repeatedly mentions how she is sad about her ex. Said ex is the guy she left me for in the first place. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [24M] think I am in love with my best friend [24F], who started dating someone. It is killing me. Should I cut off all contact with her?
POST: We became best friends in college, but never dated. We were very close friends, but after graduation last year, when we both started to work, things have changed. We didn't have much time for each other, we only saw each other once or twice in a month, though we talked a lot on the phone, facebook etc..
In february she told me that she wouldn't be available on facebook, because she spends the whole day in front of the computer in the office and she doesn't want to do that at home too, but we can communicate via e-mails during the day.
Last week she could finally find some time for me, so we met, and she told me that she had been dating a coworker since february, but she didn't want to told me because she knew that I don't like that guy, and I would be against their relationship.
She told me how happy they are, never loved anyone so much, showed me pictures of them, and I was sitting there like an idiot, it was awful, I realized, I should have dated her, I should have asked her out back in college. I never thought she would end up with someone else, and never thought that it would be such a terrible feeling.
Now I don't know what to do. I don't want to lose her, but it kills me that she is with somebody else, and I am not the most important guy in her life, and she calls someone else if she has a problem and so on. But I think she would be very sad if I broke all contact with her.
TL;DR: | I am in love with my best friend, who dates an other guy. I don't know what to do. Cut off contact with her, or just wait until I fall out of her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18M] with my girlfriend [19F] 8 months, sharing bed with brother?
POST: Hey guys, just posting because I'm kind of lost here as to what is normal and if I'm being over sensitive about this. I'm currently dating a great girl, who happens to have a twin brother who I am also good friends with.
The twin brother came over this weekend and I offered him a sleeping bag in my room but he said it was ok and he'd just sleep in his sisters (my girlfriends) room. I assumed he would sleep on my girlfriends roommates bed, as she is gone for the weekend, and my girlfriends roommate was ok with it, but this morning I went to the room to find them sleeping in the same bed together, the brother shirtless and my girlfriend only wearing a long shirt over her underwear. I know they are siblings, and I don't think it's a huge deal, but something about this rubs me the wrong way.
There have been times where they've shared beds before, for example this summer when her brother didn't have his mattress for a week or so and they shared beds, and I wasn't able to FaceTime my girlfriend like we normally do at night. This was fine of course as there weren't other beds to sleep on, and I didn't think he should need to take the couch.
However, this time there was a wide open bed literally five feet away! I dont believe there is ever anything between them but I don't like the idea of my girlfriend sleeping half naked with some other guy in her bed, especially if there is an open bed available so close by. I haven't said anything yet as I'm not sure if this is common or not, and if it is I guess I need to just get over it. Can you guys help me with this problem?
TL;DR: | girlfriend sleeping half naked in same bed as twin brother with open bed right next to them, bothers me a little bit, not sure if this is normal or not. Help! |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, have you ever seen a ghost?
POST: Sorry if this has been asked before, but have any of you ever seen a ghost? The ghost I saw was at my grandmas house when I was 9 years old. I was taking laundry down to the basement .Now, the basement looked, from my point of view, I was standing on top of the stairs, holding the laundry. The stairs were long, white, and going straight down. The walls were white as well, it just looked like a big, long, white narrow staircase. Anyway, I was holding the laundry, and it was pitch fucking black at the bottom. I looked down the stairs, and see a girl dressed in white, with black hair. Now, it takes me 3 seconds to figure out what it is, and then the next 10 seconds I keep staring at it. It was just standing there, not even moving. I just could not move. Then I swear to fucking god it moves its head up, and I throw the laundry down the stairs, and run upstairs screaming like a pussy. My sister, and cousin were upstairs, and just ran to them, and did not speak for a while. That kind of fear I felt was insane.
Explanation for Ghost: I think the little girl came from my aunt, and cousin, they were staying in town for a while. The reason I say this is because, a few years ago my aunt had a miscarriage, it was a baby girl. It had been a few years and my aunt had another girl, alive and healthy. Anyways, I think my aunt brought this ghost to my grandmas house, as if it was a manifestation of my aunts unborn baby. But holy nuts, the fear I felt when I saw the ghost, was just the kind that you could not scream, but just keep staring. It was scary as hell, but I cant wait to see another one
TL;DR: | If you were to fucking lazy to read it, I saw a ghost that was a manifestation of my aunts unborn baby. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Is she a rebound girl or serious? [22F] and [20M]
POST: My boyfriend and I have been together for over 4 years. He broke up with me 3 weeks ago but said he wanted to figure himself out for a little bit but would like to get back together at some point. We have been planning to move in together in a few months. So his family said he was just taking some time to himself to make sure that is what he truly wants. He told me he still loves me and wants to be with me again in the future. He has been hanging out with a new girl already. This girl likes to party and has a bad history. He says he doesn't having feelings for her and they are just friends. But they have been going to dinner, hanging out, and have plans for Valentine's Day. I am holding on to the hope of us working things out at some point.
TL;DR: | Is this girl a rebound so he doesn't have to deal with his true feelings right now or could it be serious and he already moved on? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by wearing the wrong shirt.
POST: This happened just 20 minutes ago. I'm driving home and decided to write up this post to calm myself down.
Before we get started I just want to say that I have good hygiene and take good care of myself.
Tonight was my school's eighth grade award ceremony, which took place in the school cafeteria. I dressed up roughly an hour before and decided to roll with a light blue dress shirt and black slacks. Nothing too fancy.
I got to the school early, sat down in the blazing hot room with a few friends, and talked, all while the teachers were out in the halls welcoming everybody to the ceremony. Roughly half an hour after the awards started, that's when the fuck up ensued.
I started to sweat, bad. At first it was just a drop or two on the front of my shirt. No big deal. Then it became worse without me even noticing. I was called up for an award, walked up received it, and sat down. That was when I looked down at my shirt.
It was covered with sweat, drenched, and it was horrible. It looked like I just jumped into a pool and threw a shirt over it. The dark of the sweat and the light blue of the shirt made it look terrible, as it was easily seen.
The awards lasted only a few more minutes but by then I was panicking to get out of there. I rushed out of there like a madman and went straight to the car, where I'm typing this now.
TL;DR: | Wore a light shirt to a ceremony in a baking cafeteria, and sweat like never before. Should have worn a darker shirt so the sweat wouldn't have been so bad. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 F] and my bf [25 M] have been dating for two years on the 11th of July, his mother has been giving me problems and i'm not sure what to do...
POST: So as I said we have been together for 2 years on July 11th. We've lived with his mom since February of last year. Bad move living with his mom, i know, but i was holding out hope. All she does is order me to clean. I mean a deep cleaning everyday. For example cleaning up after her two dogs even if she's here and SEES them take a dump, feed them twice a day, wash dishes about twice a day, move every piece of furniture when I mop and sweep, etc. On top of that I clean our room that we share with my 4 year old daughter and my bf's puppy.
I do have a job, though the hours aren't much it is something. Now she wants to take most, if not all, of my check leaving me with no money to get the essentials for my daughter or myself.
Recently, today after she called him while he was at work to complain about me, he took his mother's side about EVERYTHING! My "lack of cleaning", not having a good enough job so I can pay her, etc. I feel so defeated...I have no fight left in me and I don't know what to do. He's never taken her side like this before.
What do i do? Should i just pack my things and leave and continue our relationship that way? Do i just deal with it? Do i just tell them both to go to hell? I'm at a complete loss....
TL;DR: | My bf's mom is complaining about everything I do to him and I've reached my limit now that he's taken her side. Where do I go from here? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Online gaming friend (M late-20s to mid-30s) moved to my (28F) city and wants to meet up. I'm happy to meet as friends, but not interested in hooking up
POST: We used to play World of Warcraft together and "met" through some mutual gaming friends - i.e. we only know each other in game, and have never met in person, as he lived in another state. The first time I quit, we exchanged email addresses and would chat over IM every now and again.
Fast forward 6 years.
He has moved to my city for work, and brought his gf (I have no idea how old she is) along with him. I'm in a serious relationship (5 years, and engaged), which he knows about.
He recently suggested meeting up, which I'd like to do, as I really enjoyed playing together with him.
However, I have heard some stories about how he has hooked up with other girls from WoW, and one of them was an ex-guildmate of mine who told me she slept with him while she was engaged to her now-ex-fiancee. Another player, who I have met in person, told me that he stole another player's girlfriend.
While I'd like to think I'm not so conceited that I think he'll drop his pants at the sight of me, a part of me is worried that he gets off on breaking up relationships, and is only interested in meeting up with me to try and hook up. Which is 100% not going to happen, as he's not my type, and I really love my fiancee. So if that's all he's interested in, I'd like to save both of our time and just make it clear that ti's not going to happen.
How do I agree to meet up and send a clear message that I'm not interested in hooking up?
Before you ask why I consider someone like that a friend, I guess it's because I feel like we've been through a lot in game together. I know it seems silly to compare it to war buddies, but that's the kind of feeling I have.
TL;DR: | Online friend wants to meet. He has a history of breaking up relationships. I want to make it clear that I'm happy to meet as friends, but not interested in anything else. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (23M) feel a little infatuated with a friend (22F), I haven't done anything, but I feel guilty because I have a girlfriend (23F)
POST: Hi Reddit, I've been feeling guilty for the past couple weeks because for a while now I've had this crush on a friend, whilst I've been dating my girlfriend.
My friend and I work together and had to attend a conference, and I think I might've fallen for her a little. We haven't done anything out of line, in fact, I don't plan to pursue anything with this girl. She's also friends with my girlfriend so I'm sure she wouldn't do anything to hurt her either. We chat once and awhile, and they're usually not flirtatious in nature, but it does have the occasional compliment. I also don't have any issues with my current relationship. I consider myself very lucky to be with my girlfriend (together for 2 years), I just don't know how to handle this. This hasn't really happened before to me, and I feel like I'm obligated to tell my girlfriend about it. I'm just worried she'll feel hurt because she's had issues with her self esteem before.
I think I have a crush on her because we have a lot of things in common, while my girlfriend and I are more different. But I also feel like comparing them isn't fair, since I don't know all my friend's problems, while my girlfriend and I have been through a lot of good and bad times. (guess like comparing a highlight reel to the whole thing?)
Should I tell my girlfriend I've been having a crush on her friend? Should I just let it be and let it past?
TL;DR: | I have a crush on a girl while I'm dating someone else. It feels inappropriate and I feel guilty, and I'm contemplating telling my girlfriend. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Is it OK for me (22M) to stay with someone (29M) who says they will go for someone else eventually i.e. "the end" is inevitable? [Serious]
POST: **Disclaimer:** The question is only a summary of what's a complicated problem, as it is in relationships. If you want more info, ask and I'll provide it, but please keep the assumptions to a minimum.
**Duration:** Officially in a relationship since a month but have been seeing each other for 7 months now.
I wasn't OK with it, but then I was.
Because what I am involved in is a taboo in my society and culture and because of the obligations and duties that stem from the same, they will be going for someone else in the end, though they still say they want to maintain a friendly relationship with me. So I got it, somehow.
**Edit2:** Someone asked me to elaborate on the society. Well, I do not live in a Western society, far from it. The culture and society I am in is deeply rooted in religion and tradition and same-sex relationships are... unspeakable, actually. **Edit2 ends**
I wasn't OK with their past, and I can't control the future, so I decided to maximize the present. But then they failed to give me what I want out of the present as well. So I still haven't gotten what I wanted/expected, but they have.
And so I'm beginning to question it all over again. If I didn't even get what I wanted from the present, is this self-destruction worth it?
**Edit1:** Okay so first of all, they're not a "bad person" and no I don't think they're using me or yanking me around. We do love each other, and I do believe in that. It's just that I guess we feel differently about the whole situation. I'm... just not content, so there's that.
And also, I'd appreciate if you guys put into context the "taboo in my culture" thing. I don't think I'll ever have a complete fulfilling relationship as it is, so there's that too.
TL;DR: | They've made it clear that the end is inevitable, and I was OK with enjoying the present, but now I realize I'm not getting what I want out of the present either. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Freshman in high school. Need help asking a girl out. (x-post from /r/dating_advice)
POST: Ok, first a little background. I'm 14 and I've never had a girlfriend or even been on a date. This girl I like I've known since the start of middle school and I started to like her near the start of 7th grade. We kind of flirted in 7th grade but it wasn't really that serious. In 8th grade I danced with her at a party and on Valentines Day I got her a gift but I never built on top of that. I've made resolutions to ask her out many times but I never followed through. That is part A of my troubles: I can't commit to the decision to ask her out.
Part B is that I don't know the best course of action to ask her out, mainly when to ask her out. I have one class with her, plus lunch, plus I see her in the hallway. So: how and when do I ask her out?
TL;DR: | I've liked a girl for 2 years, how do I commit to asking her out and how do I go about asking her out? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskDocs
TITLE: [24F] I have my third BV infection in five months. Doctor recommended priobiotics. What should I take?
POST: I got my first BV infection back in January. It made no sense, since I'm not sexually active, I don't douche, I don't wipe front to back, I only wear cotton underwear when I do wear underwear, and I only use scentless and sensitive skin products. REgardless, I went home with a prescription for Flagyll and, a few days later I got my period, and it went away.
Three months later, I got another BV infection. Went to a walk in medical really quickly, got a prescription for the same meds. Got my period a few days later again. The doctor said something about how taking priobiotics might help, but never gave me a recommendation of what priobiotics or any sort of a brand.
I recently just started taking Yaz because I went to the gyno concerned over how this keeps happening. He said it might be hormonal related and I started taking birth control. Right after my second sugar pill (the ones that are supposed to prompt your period), I got BV again.
I'm now sitting at my place trying to figure out what to do. I hate constantly having BV and it appears to be connected with my period somehow. The medication gives me diarrhea and makes me vomit, and I can't take suppositories because of trauma. I heard priobiotics can help, and I really hope there is one out there that can cure this--hopefully, forever.
I don't want to take Flagyll again. It keeps making me vomit and giving me diarrhea.
I take Yaz, Prevacid, and liquid Lomotil daily (it has alcohol in it, so when I'm on Flagyll, I can't take it and it really makes me spend a lot of time on the toilet).
TL;DR: | Keep getting BV. Flagyll works, but it comes back. It keeps coming back more frequently and worse every time. Doctor said priobiotics may help, but I'm clueless for what will help. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Sick burn happened, good comeback?
POST: So this is what went down.
I take a science class, and I usually raise my hand from time to time, and this particular class I raised my hand a total of ~3 times. So this one girl (who can sometimes be self-righteous, but I'd probably say this was in good humor) gave me a print out of [a png on hand-raising] I'll admit, it was somewhat of a sick burn, in a way.
Now I could easily get her back by making some derogatory print, or printing off a meme, or something like that, but I thought it would be so much cooler if, say, I asked one and a half million people how best to comeback, then include a "signed by Reddit", or something to that effect.
So that's what I'm doing now.
Any good comeback pngs, jpgs, txts, urls, or memes you good, good people of this subreddit have for just this occasion?
You're the best (but I'm sure you already knew that).
TL;DR: | raise a few hands in class, get handed [some good-humored sick burn] Super-witty comeback? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [26F] asked my boyfriend [28M] of one year to not look at porn when I stay the night. He still does even though he promised he wouldn't.
POST: Disclaimer: I did look at his phone to verify, and the evidence was all there.
We both broke our respective promises. Mine to not look at his phone if I didn't trust him, and his to not view porn while I stay the night.
I'm not sure how to handle this. It bothers me A LOT and we've had arguments about this issue.
I tried to nip it in the bud by asking him to come to sleep at the same time as me, but he will spend upwards of an hour in the bathroom before coming to bed. He always says he's reading things. And when I check his phone, I see that he's lied and has looked at a range of things.
The entire situation makes me really uncomfortable, and I suppose I'm looking for perspective and sound advice.
TL;DR: | My [26F] boyfriend [28M] of one year looks at porn when I stay the night, even though I asked him not to and he promised he wouldn't. I found out because I looked through his phone. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by not being born 3 years earlier
POST: So this happened last night, went out to dinner with some friends and their friends. Let me give you some details about our party - two of us are 23 and the others are up to 10 years older than us. Anyway, food was great, wine was drunk, mildly interesting conversations about the weather that eventually turned into a debate how unfair the world is were had. There wasn't a heated debate just normal discussions. One of the older guys at the table (the husband of one of my friends friend) starts promoting some illuminati grade conspiracies how every wrong in the world is traceable to the "pretend" values of the European Union that later turns into a full blown support of the communist regime in our country before '79. Usually as an ex-commie state when this topic is brought up here everybody steers away from it as if we're talking about religion, communism is just an awkward bomb you can fire at any time and ruin someone's fun. The discussion ends up being just between me and the guy but still not very heated cause you can't really discharge such a bomber. Then suddenly his wife starts shouting at me that I should just shut up because clearly I have no knowledge of what life has been like in those years. Gives me the you're too young to understand card and how I have no sense of when to stop delving into a subject. Suddenly the whole table turns to me saying I should really stop it. So now I have a table-full of people being mad at me for not shutting up. My comrade in years was just as shocked as I was when hearing this but still insisted on not continuing to talk about it.
TL;DR: | said communism is shit to a 28yo's husband, ended up ruining everybody's night and probably never being invited again in this company |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [F,21] feel semi-trapped and out of control with the guy [M,23] I'm "seeing"
POST: So I've been seeing this guy for about 2 months now. We hang out almost every single day. We usually have sex 2-3 times a day but sometimes we don't fuck at all. We go on small excursions out of the city we live in and have a lot of fun together. We have a blank book that we put all our adventures in. He takes me out on nice dates. Everything is great most of the time.... But then we talk about what we are.
He really really doesn't want to be in a relationship, but it totally feels like a relationship. I don't need the title of "girlfriend" and I don't need to be official. But the problem is is that he will make me feel like shit about not being official. Like he will go on and on about how he doesn't want a relationship, how it's been too short of time from when he broke up with his girlfriend of 4 years to be in one (it's been 8 months, but I understand he's allowed to take his time), how much anxiety it gives him that he can't give me what I want (like he knows exactly what I want), and how much . I'm chill how we are if he didn't talk about it and didn't just make it confusing. Not because I'm just not facing reality, but because we have fun together and talking about that shit makes me feel bad about making him feel bad. I'm fine with no title now, but what about the future? Because how he words it is that he will never want a relationship. So when he brings up stuff like that, I tell him that we should just be normal friends and he tells me no! He says it's too late and that we can't go back.
I have no idea what to do. I have so much fun with him and he makes me happy. We have a lot of things in common. He's an extremely nice guy. But then when he brings stuff like I feel like I have no security. He could leave me at any second and not have any issues.
TL;DR: | Feeling trap with the guy I'm seeing because he treats me like his gf but tells me he doesn't want a relationship so I tell him let's just be friends and he says no. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20M] with my SO [20F] of two years: how can I be more supportive when she's stressed?
POST: I've been with my SO for two years now and things are for the most part great. The problem is that she's doing a really intense course in uni and dealing with a lot of stress due to upcoming exams. I have exams too but she has it a lot worse with her course than I do mine. Lately she's been complaining a lot to me about how hard it is and I don't really know what to say or how to respond except "I know that sucks but I really think you'll be fine" or something along those lines. (I believe this 100% she works really hard to get the results she needs and doesn't just scrape by)
I want to be more supportive and help her feel better when she's obviously stressing the fuck out but i really don't know what to say! I know I'm not doing a great job of it currently so any advice on how to cheer her up or lend a sympathetic ear would be appreciated.
We've talked about it and she definitely has something in mind but gets a little ticked off at my lack of responses or approaches to the situation.
TL;DR: | GF really stressed about upcoming finals, she's been working really hard towards it and I want to be supportive when she comes to me stressed out |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Drunk cuddling with friend [f/24] went into something more and I [m/20] don't know how to proceed.
POST: I'm usually horrible with any kind of human body contact, but when I'm drunk it's a whole different thing.
So I hosted a party with some friends, got drunk, she stayed for some cuddling. Somehow I got into touching her breasts a bit, got into it and then went what the hell and said, "everything above the belt line, how about we start with a kiss." - we didn't really go far (pants stayed on), but in hindsight, for someone how hadn't done any of this before it was a bit much. The memories are still quite real and won't let my stomach and mind come to a rest.
Needless to say, we're both a bit confused and don't know how to continue from this. We've planned to meet in a few days over coffee to discuss any further since the hangover today prohibited any deep discussions.
From some things she mentioned I have the faint suspicion that she might have a crush on me, which, if true, doesn't make it any easier.
What will the future hold? Reverting to just Friends and acting as if nothing had happened (Friend Zone for her??)? Friends with Benefits? Go start dating?
We get along quite well and it would be horrible if we would drift apart, but at the same time I'm just afraid of anything.
TL;DR: | Drunk Cuddling with friend led to long and intense make-out session that let us happy yet confused on what to do as next step. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20F] with my boyfriend [25M] of 4 years, can't stand his family but is scared of him resenting me!
POST: So recently we have had a massive fight with his parents, which turned into most of his family. They have said some very hurtful things about me that I feel we can't come back from.
I wish he didn't want a relationship with them. He says he doesn't but I tell him you probably will later once time has passed. I know I never will thought. When I tell him that he agrees that maybe in the future he will.
However I know that whenever he wants to talk to them I will get upset. I feel like he's betraying me. I don't want him to resent me but I just can't stand it! I know if I tell him to not talk to them he won't, but I don't want to be that type of girlfriend.
I just don't know how to get on with this.
TL;DR: | Can't stand boyfriend's parents and doesn't want them to have a relationship but doesn't want him to resent me! |
SUBREDDIT: r/needadvice
TITLE: Not sure if this is a normal behavior
POST: So I tend to talk to myself in the 2nd person (I think it's second anyway because I tend to use 'you') and there is an entire other person in my head with a personality named "Jake." Now for as long as I can remember Jake has been in my head telling me right from wrong since I was a little kid. Whenever I have to make a big decision Jake is in my head playing devil's advocate and helping me see both sides to things. Just clarifying that Jake is not a physical person only a personality trapped in my head that I only talk to when there is a large decision or a stressful one that I need to make. He is sort of an imaginary friend that leads me through life. But I am 16 and thought that most people wouldn't actually still talk to there imaginary friend anymore. Idk, I was just looking for maybe a name to this or if its normal or not.
TL;DR: | I have a personality in my head that tells me right from wrong and helps me make decisions, is that normal? I'm 16 m |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Why does the nozzle on a gas pump constantly shut off when I fill my car?
POST: I have a 2006 Ford Focus and every time I try to fill it up, it will click off as if it is full even though I've only put a couple of litres in. I'll let go, wait a second, and try again, and the same thing will happen. In order to fill the tank I have to either barely hold the trigger so it just trickles in, or deal with it shutting off up to 20 times.
It's especially annoying when I'm at a full serve station and the attendant will lock it in place and walk away, only for it to shut off as soon as he/she's turned their back Is there a way for me to fix this? Or is there a trick to making it work better? I have some experience in auto repair, but I'm no expert.
TL;DR: | I can't fill my gas tank without having the pump shut off about 10 - 20 times a fill. Can I fix this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Dogtraining
TITLE: Forgive me /r/dogtraining, for I have sinned.. (Training puppy to walk calmly)
POST: Dog: Beauceron, 12 Weeks Old. Name: Ico
He has been running a lot freely without a leash, but lately I've been increasingly trying to walk with a leash and training him to walk calmly and not pulling. This exact same scenario happened yesterday.
We went outside when I noticed that my puppy's energy level was beginning to rise. First I let him run off some energy without the leash. Just playing and jumping around in the deep snow, and then I leashed him and we started walking. My method is walking on a short leash, and stopping every time he pulls. As soon as he's not pulling we get to walk again. The problem is that I take half a step from the stand-still, and he pulls again. There's literately no calm walking to praise at all, and he does not seem to care that pulling makes us stop.
As we walk this like this, stopping every half step or so, we approach a large parking lot, and I let him run freely again to release energy. After a while we start going back home, and he pulls more intensely than before. I feel my patience rapidly coming to an end, but I know that if I just let him pull it will be reinforcing, and I feel a dark desire to yell at him, to throw him to the ground, etc. I didn't to that though. What I did do some times, was saying "NO!" a bit angrily and pulling him hard back with the leash. Probably bad enough, and of course it didn't help. I really just want to use positive training, and I'm pissed at myself for letting a three month old puppy get to me and make me angry.
Should I just continue doing the same thing while trying to hold my temper? I do love the little bastard, and I really want to train him to be a good dog with good basic obedience and manners. It's an intelligent and active breed, probably very comparable to the GSD, so he's got potential for learning a lot.
This is [Ico.](
TL;DR: | Whining, anger, venting, self pity. Struggling to make puppy NOT pull on the leash. Wishing for a magic trick!* |
SUBREDDIT: r/books
TITLE: Reddit has helped me with a lot, I just discovered I enjoy reading recreationally as an adult. Did you know there are literally millions of books? How do I know what to read?
POST: I have enjoyed all forms of media throughout my life except for books. I realized after reading "world war z" that I have not been living a full life. I disliked reading in high school and throughout college I only read required academic texts. For some unfortunate reason I never developed a strong taste for recreational reading. I enjoy comics extensively but felt like they were a different class of books altogether so never paid attention to books. I feel like books have opened a whole new world and I do not know where to go. I have watched all aired seasons of Game of Thrones and started reading the novels the show is based on. I would like to know what other books to read, I have looked through the r/books list and not a whole lot of those books seem interesting. Please if you can lead me in any direction of what to read would be great. To give you an idea of things I like my favorite movies are fight club, goodfellas, star wars (original trilogy), snatch. Favorite tv shows are its always sunny, dexter, the office, arrested development (obligatory), archer, early seasons of weeds and breaking bad. This list is by no means a comprehensive list however I hope there are more things in the book world that attract people with similar tastes in media.
TL;DR: | I as an adult discovered books, I have no idea what to read and the bookstore. I listed some favorite movies and tv shows. If you like some of the same things tell me what you enjoyed reading. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: How do you deal with someone you intensely dislike but are forced to spend time with?
POST: This is a little complicated.
I pretty much hate my bf's ex-gf. I'm not looking for relationship advice though. Read on, my internet friend.
They still see each other a lot because they work together making theatre shows which means they also often have to stay at each other's houses (sometimes with other members of the cast, sometimes not).
The fact that she is his ex-gf does affect the situation, I can admit that. But it's not the whole story. They broke up about 6 years ago and there is no lingering attraction, all that stuff is dead and gone and even though I find their work practices a little strange, it seems to work for them, they produce amazing shows and they have been doing it for a long time. I've come to terms with it, that side of things is all good.
I actually just find her super irritating, she's annoying. She's attention seeking, she is emotionally draining, she's often quite inappropriate towards me and/or my bf and she has made me feel very uncomfortable almost every time I have come into contact with her, she's a performer - you know? But I am forced to see her several times a year when they do their shows either at the theatre or when she comes to stay at his house. My bf and I have talked about it many times, he understands my point, is supportive, does what he can to minimise the negative effects of her behaviour and is generally pretty great about it all but will not stop working with her because of it. To be honest, I wouldn't want him to, they have been working together for about 10 years and like I said, they produce great shows.
I want more than anything to find a way to be happy in her company, regardless of what she is doing. This request for advice is not about avoidance strategies (that's impossible), it's not about being petty or ignoring her (not viable long term), it's about dealing with an irritating person in a pragmatic way that will benefit me in the long run.
Also, any stories of difficult or annoying people are most welcome, come on we've had to deal one at some point in life.
TL;DR: | I hate someone that I have to see fairly often, how do you pragmatically deal with this when avoiding/ignoring them is impossible? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [32 M/F] with the girl [31 M/F] I've been dating for three months, she wants to let people in tough situations stay in her home while they get back on their feet which is a red flag for me.
POST: I've been dating a great girl for three months. She has many qualities I really like, but one thing bothers me. She owns a home and wants to help unfortunate people by letting them stay with her while they get back on her feet.
For instance, she's frequently told me about how she wants to let a former foster child [20/m] from a program she works at live in her home for free while he gets back on his feet.
I think she has a huge heart for wanting to do this sort of thing, but it concerns me that she'd want to blur the boundary between her personal life and her desire to help others.
I think it's great she volunteers and contributes to the program where she meets these young people, but her breaking the personal boundary of bringing someone into her home would keep me from getting more serious with her.
I've only been dating her for three months, and I don't know how much is appropriate for me to be involved. When she asked me, I told her I don't like the idea. I haven't told her it would be a deal breaker for me.
My question is, is it appropriate to tell her how I feel about it before she lets people move in with her, or is it not my place? I feel like I would be being passive aggressive either way.
If I tell her I'd break up with her now if she did it, it would feel manipulative. I also don't want to try to change her - she might say no to this person but always want to do this at some point.
On the other hand, I wouldn't want to continue the relationship if this is the kind of thing she really wants, and it would feel like I was being passive aggressive for not letting her know before she decides.
TL;DR: | Girl I've been dating's desire to help others by letting them stay in her home is a deal breaker, but I don't know whether or how to communicate this. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18 M/F], Just recently broke up with my EX [17 F] after 2 years, did i do the right thing
POST: Within the past 3 weeks I have been losing my mind because of the way things have ended between me and my ex. The reason I say 3 weeks is because that is how long its been since she has told me that she needed to take a break on the relationship to "find herself ".
As of recently, she had started to develop some signs of anxiety and depression (Got stressed from school work, Would have panic attacks, cry when she doesn't want to, has abnormal thoughts that she cant control). I tried staying with her to be her friend because I thought, maybe I can make everything better and still cared for her the same way I cared during the relationship.I even did an assignment for her because she was going to fail a class and she couldnt do it. I even took her to a play and had made her smile more than she ever had in a while. She was even saying how she appreciated me helping her so much and that she would always love me and no one else. But all this time I was realizing that it was getting harder and harder for me every day to not be with her, although she tells me she still loves me, I can just feel that its not the same love we used to have which I cherished. I kept asking her why she couldn't just come back to dating me because I thought everything had been perfect and we can work on fixing things but she told me she didnt like that we fought so much and she brought up 2 instances of fights which my friends were around and they said they thought she was being mean. I gave up and realized im probably never going to be able to love her the way i used to i just said to her if she wants her break it's fine but call me when you make your decision and went no contact.
I've felt so shitty ever since because i still have her posessions in my house and she has mine. Do I wait for things to get better, or will they even get better? Should I just cut my losses? Did i do the right thing by going no contact?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend wants to "find herself" says she still wants to be with me, I want to help her still but it hurts seeing her happy because I start to remember our relationship |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [27 M] with my Best Friend [26 F] I have intense feelings for her, she doesn't ,but she's ill and I feel wrong distancing myself from her.
POST: I have a great friend of mine that I've known for a while knows I have feelings for her. Unfortunately, for me, she doesn't have the same romantic feelings and she can't see us being together romantically. Gentleman know this all too well as the friend-zone. To be clear, I thought she was out of my league and I couldn't see us together but I do care for her more than a friend. I recently told her and shortly after that I tried to distance my self(not texting her to hang out and whatnot unless she texts me first). But then a few weeks ago she started getting very ill and while the prognosis is not a death sentence, it will be a life of pain and difficulty. She is worried about her career as she just graduated and how her plans for her life seem to be ruined. These last few weeks I've been there to support her, bring her food, talk with her, be a shoulder to cry/lean on and it's making it harder for me to NOT want to be with her. I'll be honest I know that if we did have a relationship, her illness will be challenging but I'm in if she is and will be there for the long haul. Part of me wants to just leave it, but I don't think I could ever forgive myself. She knows exactly how I feel and I don't want to burden her with my problems. I think I know the right thing is to be there for her and to put my feelings aside, but I feel like its tearing me apart.
TL;DR: | I have deep feelings for my friend, she doesn't, but she's ill and needs support. I have a hard time being in between. Any advice? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [24 M] have a buddy [23 M] who doesn't think he can get over his ex [23 F] even though they dated for only 8 months (relationship ended 4 years ago).
POST: This isn't a "I have a friend who is me" situation.
I have a buddy, Kris, who isn't the most attractive guy out there. He's a phenomenal person, and a lot of people love him. He has many great qualities, but he's built like a Mack Truck. 6'3 275. A little extra on him but a ton of muscle and legs of a bull.
His problem is that he dated a girl, Anna, his 2nd girlfriend ever, who he thinks was out of his league. They were together for 8 months, but their relationship ended 4 years ago. He's had plenty of time to get over her, but seemingly either won't or simply can't.
She was a serial dater who wouldn't have sex with guys outside of a relationship. This caused her to jump from relationship to relationship anytime she wanted to fuck someone else. Kris fell victim to this.
Outside of being a serial dater, she just wasn't a nice or good person. Would keep him away from his family and friends, and would put ridiculous amounts of pressure on him to provide.
How to I go about helping him move on from their relationship. I know emotional abuse and ex's last with everyone. I've studied family and marital relationship psychology in school, just I haven't been able to help him despite my attempts. He's been with other girls, but he's holding Anna's pussy on a pedistol.
TL;DR: | Kirs can't/won't get over serial dater Anna even though they dated for only 8 months, 4 years ago. How do I help him out? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: 1 year Anniversary gift for my girlfriend, Reddit please help!!!
POST: So I have been dating this girl for a year now and we have had our share of issues( her parents are Muslim and don't agree on us dating) but we our extremely close and we have become best friends.
She is 21 and i am 23(m), she has been sheltered and spoiled her whole life but i have given her a new outlook on success and life.
I am also her first and she has an incredible amount of trust in me which i have never faltered.
I made the mistake of feeding her spoiled attitude early on in the relationship, buying her a 400 $ purse on Christmas, spending 1000 dollars on a spa week end on her birthday, always paying for everything when we go out.
Now i do not make that much roughly 35k a year as a student and waiter.
Here is the issue, our 1 year is next week, i have already booked an amazing hotel, i wanted to be spontaneous on that night so no reservation at restaurants. But I want to get her something sentimental, i know she loves engravings and picture, so I was thinking of getting her an engraved picture frame, the only problem is that is what she gave me on valentines day.
Now she has changed allot in the past year, she has matured and does not look at money the same way she used to(her parents are loaded).I know all she wants is a momento of our love yet I have noooo idea what i could get her. I know she is planing on getting me a really nice gift, and I am sure its going to be pricey, so I don't want to look cheap or lazy.
TL;DR: | I need to buy a gift for my spoiled yet maturing gf, she likes engraving and pictures but has already bought me and engraved picture frame. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by chasing a Mum who dropped some cash
POST: Been feeling a bit unwell, but decided to suck it up and get the bus to work. As I am walking down the street, a Mum (and toddler daughter) runs by and drops £10. I call after her but she races across the road. The lights change and I cannot run into traffic. The lights change and I feel sick. After I dash across the road she re-appears and I hand over the money. The for some fucking unknown reason, I start to feel dizzy and like I am going to throw up again. I stagger home, walk through my door and pass out.
TL;DR: | In a weakened state I busted my ass to return £10 to a woman and brought on a syncope episode. And I did not make it into work. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: [20M] Junior in college, want to meet more girls
POST: So I'm a junior in college and I've been living in my fraternity for 2 years now. My fraternity isn't exactly your regular fraternity, I'd say there's a mix of partiers, gamers, and nerds. So on any given Friday night there will be people going out to parties, playing pong, playing video games together, or just being boring. Furthermore, my fraternity isn't the best with girls, we're all nice guys, but we don't have any tight relationships with any sororities or groups of girls who like to come over and hang out.
As for me, I consideer myself fairly average. I'm fairly smart, I think I'm nice, I like to cook, snowboard, play piano, work out, and just hang out. I've never had a girlfriend before, and I've only been on I'd say 3 or 4 dates in my life. Needless to say I'm also a virgin. I can be really shy around girls and new people, and have a lot of trouble meeting girls at parties or in just everyday life.
I don't participate in a lot of clubs or things like that because I haven't really found one that interests me, so there's not much chance to meet people there. My friends from my old dorm I've lost touch with, so going there to meet people isn't really an option either. I've always been a fan of getting together with people to work on psets that I'm in classes with, but the only people I know from these classes are either brothers or girls who already have boyfriends.
Quite honestly I'm kind of desperate to just meet somebody because I still haven't really found the right person yet. I really just want to know of more ways to meet more girls and be more confident while doing so.
TL;DR: | 20M Junior in college, never had a girlfriend, live in a fraternity, want to meet more girls and have more confidence speaking with them. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [25 M] lost my [27 F] long distance relationship of 7 months. Seeking some unbiased advice.
POST: Okay I'll try to make this as short as possible. I met this girl online playing video games. I live in CA she lives in AZ eventually she drives here to meet me with her friends. We instantly clicked hooked up n pretty much fell in love very quick, which is unusual for me because I'm not big on relationships. Typical grew up in a broken home story. So I'm very afraid of relationships.
She always came here the 7 months we dated. She got pregnant about 3 months into our relationship. We had an abortion and that's when it started to all go downhill. I have always blamed my problems on my shit upbringing and unlucky life situations and my pops dying when I was younger. I became content with not reaching my potential n blaming everything else but myself. That, with the abortion, her wanting me to move there added up, and she left.
I did the typical beg to come back even went to AZ to see her. Basically made a complete ass of myself, lashed out emotionally and she cut off communication. Before she did that though she still told me I have so much potential and I need to get my life right. I was being immature and childish.
Now it's been about a month. I'm cleaning up all these personal issues to better myself. Moving to AZ in February(not because of her I want to get out of LA start over and my best friend lives there). I have never had someone make me realize I need to do this for me. She completely made me change my outlook on myself. I don't need to blame my life on my past I need to be better because of it and it made me love her more. I would obviously love to fix this once I get my life in order. We had amazing chemistry and love a lot of the same things. I was too busy thinking the world owed me something and not moving forward. I'd like to show her I'm becoming the man she saw in me before I did.
What I'm asking is I won't be in AZ 'til February or March should I not try to reach out til then? Should I even bother trying to pursue it at any point in the future?
TL;DR: | I was being a piece of shit and lost the woman I would love to marry when I can fix myself. Looking for advice on where I go from here. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I 24[M] recieved a significant promotion offer that requires me to move across the country, my girlfriend 23[F] of 6 years doesn't want to move...
POST: A year ago the company I work for desperately needed someone to temporarily fill a management position while the full time manager recovered from an injury, I was the only candidate available at the time that had the experience and the ability to move temporarily to work. I moved away, filled the position for 3 months then moved back.
Fast forward to three weeks ago I found out the full time manager got into another accident and unfortunately died. Because of my performance a year prior I was offered the full time position but need to move permanently. This is a huge opportunity for me as the industry I work for is very hard to advance in. I'm very lucky to get this offer, if I refuse it could take years for another opportunity to arise. Along with a slew of new benefits I'll be almost doubling my wage and setting myself up for more advancements.
When I first told my girlfriend last week she was extremely happy for me but got upset when I told her in order to accept I/we would have to move. I've talked to her several times about it and it always ends in an argument. Her main issue is she doesn't want to move away from her family and friends, which I understand. Financially it makes sense because she was recently laid off from her job and it wouldn't be hard for her to find a new one where we would be moving.
I'm at a loss at the moment because I know I need to accept this promotion to advance my carrier but I also don't want to destroy my relationship. This is the first major issue we've had in the six years we've been together. Am I being an asshole here? I don't see how we could make a compromise.
TL;DR: | !- Got a great promotion offer but need to move thousands of miles from where I live now, girlfriend doesn't want to move. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [19F] said a stupid, untrue and thoughtless thing to my boyfriend [20M] of two months, how can I fix this?
POST: I can't remember the full context of our conversation, but I mentioned something about being a 'loose drunk'.
I have mostly male friends who I drink with often (with other women too), and the SO has never had any problem with this. I've never cheated on him, drunk or sober, nor has the thought even crossed my mind. He's really lovely, treats me well, and makes me quite happy. Although we haven't been together for long, I've known him for a while, and it's something I've wanted for a while.
What I **meant** by the comment is that drunken hookups are something I've done in the past, always responsibly, when I was obviously unattached. I don't know why I said this. I don't know how I expected him to respond. It was so, so, so stupid.
After I got home, he texted me and said something was bothering him, so I called, and he explained that it was my (stupid, stupid, stupid) comment. He said really valid things, like how must he feel if I now say I'm going out drinking. I acknowledged it was stupid and apologized lots and explained what I meant, and he said it's okay and that it's something he'll have to get over.
It doesn't feel right though.
I'm worried that trust is going to be a recurring theme in our relationship, which would really irritate me, because it would be entirely my fault. **Even though I haven't done anything and don't want to do anything**. How can I fix this? I also don't want to blow it out of proportion if it's something he really can get over overnight...
TL;DR: | Although you can't take a comment back, how can you repair the damage done, especially in the early stages of a relationship that you really hope will work out? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Need help debating with creationists.
POST: This is my situation. I have a close friend who I have known since kindergarten who is a conservative, a republican, a christian, and a young earth creationist. His parents are the same way. I am very left-wing liberal who acknowledges the evolutionist theory and am agnostic teetering on the line of atheism. Whenever I visit my friend his family and I always end up arguing and I do my best but eventually wind up drawing blanks in the face of their combined pseudo-scientific combined assaults. I am looking for some simple arguements that I can use to combat their points.
Their favorite points include.
Dinosaurs and man - they reference Marco Polo's writings.
The great flood- they reference geological evidence and claim that "they" found the ark's landing site.
age of the earth- random pseudo-science.
TL;DR: | I need points to prove the age of the earth and to defend evolutionary theory and to discredit the great flood. simple logic doesn't work on these people but I think simple proven fact will. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by assuming a gecko could hold onto the roof.
POST: So a while ago I go into the toilet, noticing the gecko on the ceiling but choosing to ignore it. Just as I have my pants undone, the damn thing falls from the roof *into* the toilet (managing to grab hold of the underside of the toilet seat).
I obviously squeal, hastily right my pants, and go out to my dad for help.
He goes in but cannot find it, and flushes the toilet to "prove" to me it's gone.
Once again: close the door, undo pants, and the **gecko pops it's head out from *under* the rim of the toilet**.
How the hell it held on during the flush but couldn't hold on to the damn ceiling is beyond me.
I choose to use the parent's toilet.
A few minutes ago I go to use the toilet. I undo my pants and go to sit down. However, before I sit I pause and decide to check the gecko is gone by lifting up the toilet seat...
The gecko chooses this time to fall from the ceiling onto the toilet.
TL;DR: | Assassin gecko chooses toilet as place of attack, but fails to do anything but make me afraid of using the toilet. |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: How Would You Respond? Job offer
POST: Hello everyone!
So I've been offered via recruiter on LinkedIn a Junior Developer position (I have a lot of self-employed business experience, but no degree).
It pays 40,000 to 44,000 a year. Right now I'm working in manufacturing making 36,000 a year. My insurance where I'm at now is good, but the costs keep increasing (was 8$ a week for dental and medical last year, now it's $12. Deductibles have gone up as well). We had profit sharing at 15%, but we are now at 6%. Raises are terrible (max 2%) and we offer 401k.
That aside, the Junior Developer job would offer a great career path. The company has amazing reviews on Glassdoor (4.3/5). My big concern though is the commute would be an 1.5 hours. I mapped it out and the closest we could get for both this joband my girlfriend, would be 50 minutes both ways. I currently have a 15 minute commute to work.
Thoughts?
TL;DR: | Junior Developer job offered (growth available) - 1.5 hour commute, $20-22 an hour, 4.3* Glassdoor |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Am I [M/17] over-thinking the situation with this girl [F/17] - I don't think she is interested, am I right?
POST: I have a tendency to over-think things a lot, but anyways:
I was messaging this girl [F/17], and I was basically asking how her summer went.
I asked her if she still works at the job she worked during the summer, and she said yes. Then I asked her where she works, to which she replied, "Why?" And right now a red flag is running through my head, and I am thinking, "Why did she reply with 'Why?'; why didn't she just tell me where she worked?"
She told me that she works at a bakery, so I told her maybe I'll come by one day and buy something from her (with a light tone).
And then she says something like "Oh, it's really expensive, you shouldn't get it" sort of thing, still not telling me specifically where she works.
Does this simply mean she's afraid of me visiting her at work? I've had a thing for her for quite awhile, and I really thought I had a solid chance, but this sort of blew it for me, so it'd be nice if somebody can help me put this thing to rest.
TL;DR: | Messaged a girl, she withheld her jobplace info from me, does that mean shes afraid of me visiting her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [21 F] autistic roommate[19 F] makes racist comments/remarks towards me.
POST: My roommate has Autism so social interactions are difficult for her. Yes, she feels empathy and sympathy. Yes, she is aware that when she does something wrong, it is wrong. She told me she was autistic when we first met and I didn't care.
She has been saying horrible racist things towards me about myself, my family, and other people who aren't white. At first I thought maybe she didn't know better, but she explained that she did and what she was saying was true.
I've asked some people for advice, and was told to pity her because she is the victim due to her autism and doesn't know any better. So I decided to explain to her in depth why her comments were offensive/hurtful towards me and others. She simply brushed it off as too much effort/work.
I don't know if I should grin and bear it because her autism or do something about it. If so, what do I do?
I don't believe I can change roommates or leave her because she has grown attached to me and I "help her socialize/make her better" (as she tells me).
TL;DR: | Autistic roommate says racist untrue things to/about me and will not stop. I cannot leave her because I "make her better". What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, I need your help ... bad.
POST: Hi guys, this is a throw away account obviously. I am currently an illegal immigrant who resides in Florida. I was brought to USA from Venezuela by my parents when I was 13 yr old. We were not to turn back, we knew that we were here to stay. Unfortunately, my parents weren't as smart as others to take care of their illegal status until it was too late. My sister and I are currently 25-24 and were not able to receive a residency from ours parents when they got theirs. Only person who was able to is my younger sister who was around 18 when they decided to finally do it.
My sister and I are currently stuck. Passports are expired and we have no forms of identification. As others would say, our only chance to move forward, is to marry a Citizen of the United States. I've been with my fiance for 3 years now. Last week when we decided to marry, we couldn't ... my passport is currently expired and here in FL, the only Venezuelan embassy has closed down.
My question to you reddit is, what can I do to be able to marry? Is there another way in which I could renew my passport? The only options i've found consist in traveling to other states. If that's my only option, there that's what i'll do, but if there is anything else, please let me know!
TL;DR: | i'm an immigrant, what can I do to be able to marry with no ID and expired passport(which they won't take) |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Is it wrong for me to be unsatisfied sexually in such a new relationship
POST: Me (M 21) and a girl (F 21) have been dating for about a month and a half. She told me early on she has low sex drive sometimes but I wasn't concerned because it was no issue for the first few weeks. But recently she's not into it basically at all for the past 2 weeks or so. Is it selfish or wrong to be frustrated this early on or should I wait to see if things sort itself out. I asked her about it and she pretty much just said she "told me she's had low sex drive" and she'll let me know if I can do anything to turn her on more.
TL;DR: | what should I do if she has a low sex drive in such a new relationship. She's attracted to me still and likes me more than in the beginning. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Emotionally exhausted, shaking, and queasy... Dating_Advice, is this how it's supposed to be?
POST: Hopefully someone notices this and takes pity on me. A little background:
30M, and due to alot of Me issues, I'm really just getting back into dating. It's been easily 13 or so years since I last had a date. I went out last night for a "coffee date" with a great looking girl. I was a bit nervous when I got there, but I like to think I hid it well enough.
The entire time I'm talking with here, I noticed my hands were shaking, or maybe my teeth were chattering. It was like I was cold, honestly. After 3 hours or so, we finally parted ways (I said, awkwardly from my point of view, that I needed to work early this morning) and when I got back to my car I just sat there shaking, feeling ill and just utterly exhausted. I came home and it was all I could do to get changed and drop into bed. I slept (fitfully) for 12 hours.
The closest things I can compare it to was when some friends went skydiving a few years ago, they told me that the adrenaline rush and the endorphins after they landed made them feel like this for a day or so after the jump.
Is this what dating does to people? Honestly I'm sitting here with another first date on Friday and I'm wondering If I can handle it. I was pretty confident about the whole process until this.
TL;DR: | Went on a first date. Freaking out inside, came home exhausted, wondering if this is all worth it now. |
SUBREDDIT: r/BreakUps
TITLE: 2+ year relationship ended over the weekend; spent two days crying, now I feel extremely happy-is this weird? (Xpost from /r/relationships)
POST: Link to original post:
Female, 18. My boyfriend and I broke up last Saturday night. His reasoning was that he was sick of the things I did that made him feel like he was constantly questioning our relationship, but couldn't tell me a single thing that I was apparently doing.
I love this guy with all my heart. I've done nothing but put him first the entire time we've been together, and it destroyed me when he broke up with me. I spent Sunday and Monday lying in bed watching zombie movies and crying, and Tuesday at school I had an emotional breakdown in the middle of one class, and spent the others with my head on whatever table like surface I was sitting at.
Tuesday afternoon/night: I go rehearsal for an upcoming play, then go out with some friends to get my mind off things. We go out to eat, goof off in Walmart, and then head home. The entire time I felt really happy, and today carried on the same way. I even got the thought that moving on was going to be easier than expected, and I can't wait to get back into meeting new people. I'm young, and although I had hoped my guy and me would have stayed together longer, I can't help but feel like I can do better.
The thing is, it's only been a few days. Just over 24 hours ago I was a mess, trying to hide my phone from myself so I wouldn't text him, and attempting to keep myself away from his facebook page. Now I feel like I'm ready to move on...or do I? I'm not really sure how to feel about this. I miss him, and I love him...and it's only been a few days...I can't be over him already, can I?
TL;DR: | Just got dumped after a relationship of over 2 years. It's only been a couple days, and I already feel 100% better about the situation. Am I really moving on, or is this just false hope? |
SUBREDDIT: r/running
TITLE: Vibram Five Fingers for a marathon?
POST: Hello, i have recently decided to run the NYC marathon. I will begin training for it after track season comes to a end (end of May). I have been a minimalist runner for about a year and a half. The most miles I have done while wearing hattoris/vibrams was 65 m/w. I have had tendinitis in both of my feet, but that was due to my ignorant-self pushing to hard. ie(ust to running only 3 miles, decided to try out 9 in the vibrams). I converted pretty well from normal shoes to vibrams, i wore newtons to help with that process for about 3-4 months before slowly switching into the vibrams.
TL;DR: | i think im capable of training for a marathon in pure vibrams, has anyone else done it or does anyone not recommend? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Need to settle something
POST: So this happened about a year ago, I got a message from my really close friends boyfriend. In this message he stated that he appreciates that Im his girlfriend's friend but he would appreciate it that I would lay off a bit. Apparently word had spread that I had feelings for her (which I did). He said vaguely that there would be "consequences" if I didnt. So, like the young fool I was: I reacted irrationally and told him off. We argued for a while on Facebook, until I just had enough and blocked him.
So, as you would imagine he shows the messages to her girlfriend and she ends up hating me. I avoid her and she avoids me for several weeks. Finally, I got tired of not knowing what was going on and asked her. She said she was really annoyed and didnt care about me anymore. I was really hurt about this because at the time I still really cared about her. So after that I told her to block me, and she did. Fast forward a year and I find out she unblocked me. So should I message her and apologize because I would love to talk to her again or is that foolish?
TL;DR: | I pissed off a girl's bf that I really liked, which pissed her off and havent talked to her for a year. Should I try to restore the relationship? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [25M] curious about my partners [31 F] relationship history
POST: I have been dating Charlotte for almost four months. We are exclusive.
In the past, I have had no issues or desire in discussing exes with any previous partners. I expect people to have history, as it is natural.
Charlotte has always been tight-lipped regarding her previous relationship, but recently revealed that we met a few weeks after her childhood sweetheart broke up with her after 12+ years. They also own a house together, which she has remained in.
I do not know anymore details other than the above. I feel like asking direct questions would be disrespectful.
I have not dated anyone in the past with a complicated history, and my gut tells me she isn't over the break-up (which is understandable).
Basically, I'm wondering whether it's worthwhile pursuing. I do not want to be seen as the person to fill a void. Can anyone offer me any advice on how to proceed?
TL;DR: | Partner met me only a few weeks after a messy break-up. The fact they own property together and my instinct that she isn't yet over the LTR makes me feel uncomfortable. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [40M] am growing worried about how close my [41F] wife of 15 years is getting with her [26M] work colleague
POST: To give some background, me and my wife have been married for 15 years now, with kids as well. We've always done well together...occasional arguments, but nothing too serious and we both manage to balance our professional and family lives well.
Now, my wife is friends with this guy in work. He joined a couple of years ago, and I only heard about him in the passing. About four or five months ago though, his name started to come up more often, and him and my wife started going to the gym together.
Again, that didn't bother me. She goes to the gym. So does he. Makes sense to go together sometimes I guess. I run occasionally, but not enough to warrant paying a gym membership so again, no problem with that.
I did become worried as I heard some more about him. Turns out this guy has been making his way around the office a bit, and has slept with a couple of my wife's friends. But, again, said friends were either divorced or single, so while it bugs me a little bit, it's not a major problem.
What is worrying me though is just how friendly they seem to be. She always says things like, "He's such an asshole.", but will follow it up with something nice with a smile, or something along those lines. She'll jokingly call him handsome when in company, which was fine as a joke at first, but is starting to annoy me.
The other week he was over for dinner. I noticed how close him and my wife seemed to be. They had all their own little in jokes, and she'd sit next to him on the couch, really close to him.
It' starting to really get to me. My wife is quite attractive, and she's spending so much time (often alone) with this younger, confident and fairly athletic guy who some of her friends have already slept with.
Any ideas what I should do?
TL;DR: | married to wife in good relationship, wife starts hanging out with younger work colleague a lot and goes to gym with him, worried they're getting too close and flirtatious |
SUBREDDIT: r/Parenting
TITLE: 5 year old daughter told me something very disturbing...
POST: I need help r/parenting. Please bare with me.
I have two daughters with an ex, 5 & 2. They went to their mothers for the summer. Plans fell through with her, and the girls were sent to my parents after 3 weeks. While spending the month of July with my mom they were going to a babysitter that we had found a week prior to the girls arriving and sounded to good to be true. I called the girls every week and after a couple phone calls my oldest starts telling me she doesn't like the babysitter. I was the same way if I didn't get a certain lunch when I was younger, so I just told her I will be there soon to pick her and her sister up. I didn't think much of it since the girls have now been back for a month, but last night I asked my 5 y/o if anyone touched her privates while she was gone. I got an answer that completely floored me. She told me that one of the babysitters 13-14 y/o sons pulled her pants down behind a tree in there back yard and touched and licked her privates. I WENT NUMB... I tried to make it seem like it wasn't a big deal so that she didn't feel scared to get more info.
I need help on what to do. She told me this last night. Before she left for the summer I tried to talk to her about people touching her there. I told her to tell the person in charge, or the family member in charge when she got back home. She told know one until last night. How do I handle this? I never thought this would happen to my child.
TL;DR: | Found out my daughter was molested by babysitters 13-14 y/o son. What's my next step? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: It's the start of summer break and my girlfriend [F18] of 3 months is going to be away/unable to see me [M18] for the entirety of the break due to her religious commitments.
POST: My girlfriend is "progressively Muslim" (?) in the sense that she was brought up with some of the traditions (in this instance Ramadan) but is essentially a westerner in every other aspect of her life. And since Ramadan is starting some time next week and lasts for 30 days, she told me that there is essentially a 0% chance of us being able to physically be around each other in that time.
Additionally, she's travelling to Pakistan after Ramadan is over in August and is spending 3 weeks there before school starts in September.
This means that that we won't have any real contact for two months.
I really care for my girlfriend, but no physical contact for the entire length of summer (2 months) might be too much to handle. There's also no predicting what might happen to either of us during the summer, whether or not we meet new romantic interests or lose interest in one another.
We're both starting Uni next semester and although we're going to different universities, they're both located in the same downtown core of the city we live in.
So what's the best course of action we can take as a couple? We both really care for one another and our relationship has been trouble-free so far. I'm open to any advice that people who have been in a similar situation might have.
TL;DR: | My girlfriend won't be able to see me for the entire summer but we don't want to break up with each other just because of this. Any advice is greatly appreciated |
SUBREDDIT: r/askwomenadvice
TITLE: What is the etiquette of married couples having friends of the opposite sex?
POST: M 35. Married for 7 years. I would LOVE an unbiased female opinion.
I also posted about it on reddit...text below. Please help :( and thanks:
I trust her. But we spend zero time together anymore. She spends more time at a bar with dudes I don't even know, coming home late, and keeping me up all night. At best when we spend time together, she sits on the couch texting friends. Last night we had a fight and she left at midnight until 2 am to go drinking when the kids have to get up at 7 am for soccer. I would love to have a life like that but don't have time to meet anyone because all I do I work, so my social life is her...and she wants no part of it. I just go to work to pay for the family, then get ignored by her. It's really really depressing.
TL;DR: | guess if I was included in the social circle it wouldn't faze me at all but she doesnt want me a part of it...idk... |
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