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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Am I asking for too much? [22 F] with my BF [25 M]
POST: I've been dating this guy for around half a year and we've had our share of up and downs. The main issue for me is that my boyfriend says he will do anything for me, and he loves me a lot, he would never want to lose me; however, his actions don't reflect this.
Today for valentines day, we spent the whole day together. I had given him a gift a few days early because I'm just bad at keeping surprises from him. He basically copied my gift (it was a pair of fuzzy slippers) and this makes me think that he wasn't planning on getting me anything other than the card he had already given me..until i gave him something. For dinner we went to a restaurant that we had been wanting to try and I thought I would offer to pay since he is also my valentine after all. After the waitress put the bill on the table, I grabbed it first and he just sat there and did nothing. He didn't offer to pay or anything. Am I wrong to be upset that he didn't try to pay since it is Valentines day? We usually alternate turns to pay, but he knows I'm on student loans and living by myself while he lives at home and has a job and on top of that it's valentines day! I mean, how can he say he loves me so much and is willing to do anything for me but when it comes down to it he isn't even willing to pay for dinner?
TL;DR: | BF didn't offer to pay for Valentines day dinner but says he is willing to do anything for me, do I have the right to be upset? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 M] dating with this cutie [20 F], and awkward situations...
POST: First post on Reddit, pls be nice :)
So, I'm dating with this girl, very cutie (imho); we have a lot in common: preferences, thoughts and so on...
But it's like we cannot get too much on the "same lenght".
Pretty difficult to describe, especially in a foreign language, but I'll try to.
It's like when you're walking towards a direction, in a place full of people, and have a person who's walking right in your direction; you have to choose a new direction in order to avoid a collision with him/her.
If you have a certain level of synchronization with that person, you could easily avoid any type of collision with him/her - if this "synchronization" misses, it's quite certain to hit each other.
Basically we're living in a "second scenario"-alike.
We're dating since late April, so things are supposed to be so much easily by now - but that's just not the case.
TL;DR: | me and this girl are dating since april, we share a lot but we have no "chemistry" or whatsoever. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Thinking of cutting out very needy friend...
POST: I have a friend I've been hanging out with 8 months. I met him at an author meet up and we hit it off with lots in common. He's been relying on me a lot for someone to get out with. He has mental health issues and ocd and is a bit child-like. His parents have left him living alone here in their big house while they try to sell their house overseas and I think he's been struggling a bit. He's about 45 BTW.
Thing is he can be so childish and whiny, and he makes silly little putdowns all the time. Like I told him my uncle was Canadian, And he started saying, oh he's not, Brits who move there are fake canadians. He keeps sneering at everything anyone says and trying to make little fights out of it.
Thing is he keeps crying about people rejecting him and genuinely doesnt seem able to see how his behaviour is. He just keeps making little smug digs like I was playing guitar and he says,well there's no point you playing that because you're too young to remember rock n roll...I mean they sound silly on their own but he makes too many.
He cries with fear at the thought of losing friends though, and when he sees he's gone too far he goes nuts apologising. He's lost jobs and friends..he told me this himself.
And he has manic days where he's just exhausting babbling and trying to be constantly funny and make manic jokes about everything.
TL;DR: | friend can be douchey, is vulnerable and relies on me, not sure if its worth letting him make effort to be nicer |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me[36M] had a one night stand with a [22F], and she says she's pregnant, but the dates are a little off
POST: I met a girl at a bar a couple of months ago, and one thing led to another and she ended up back at my place for some wine. Long story short we end up having sex (unprotected because we were both so drunk).
---
The next day when we woke up, she asked me if we used a condom. Even though I am sure she knew, I told her that we
didn't. She freaked out and said she had to get Plan B because she wasn't on the pill. I agreed and gave her some money and that was that. She called me later and said she got it and took it.
---
Fast forward to today, and she has called me out of nowhere telling me she is 10 weeks pregnant. She was calm and wanted to let me know, which I appreciated. She says she is sure it's mine. **Here's the thing** - when I looked at the night we had sex and counted the days/weeks, it turns out to be just under 8 weeks ago. I don't know if she is lying to me, or if the pregnancy is calculated based on last period (which could be before we had sex) and 10 weeks really lines up with our encounter. I kind of want to bring this up to her, but I dont want to accuse her of lying or make her think I don't believe her. I am not sure what to do.
TL;DR: | One night stand says she is 10 weeks pregnant, we had sex 8 weeks ago...I don't know what to do or say to her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: 25F with my 50F mother/20F sister issues about sisters boyfriend coming to christmas eve
POST: My mother has been hounding me the past day about inviting my sister's bf to christmas eve (it's at my house and my mom currently lives with me) My sister lives with her bf and his family.
My sister hasn't really said anything to me and I told her my views earlier today.
The reason I don't want him to is about 2 months ago we found out they got into a fight and he hit her and she pushed him. A week later she is kicked out of his familys house and moves into mine for about a month (rent free helped out a little) then moves back into his after they patched it up (This has happened before they have been on and off again and lived together off and on too)
I don't want to deal with it on christmas eve. I don't have a gift for him nor do I really want to go get one. He didn't go to my dads christmas (but apparently there was other stuff to that too). I want a more drama free evening.
My mom went over to my sisters earlier and apparently she cried to her about him not being able to come. He wants to prove himself I said he can but not on christmas eve we'll try another day.
My mom is worried that my sis won't come to christmas eve over this and part of me doesn't care I hate bending over when it comes to family stuff with my mom, especially when it deals with who I want in my house.
TL;DR: | Mom and sister upset I won't let sis bf come to christmas eve due to drama that occured 2 months ago. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I[25 F] and my best friend [23 M] have been friends for about 12 years, and his personality has changed for the worst
POST: I met my best friend when I was about 13 years old; he was 11. At the time, I thought I could be like a big sister to him. I still wish I could be a big sister. But things have changed.
When I was 17, he beat me with a baseball bat. I'm a pretty tough girl; I've spent years learning self defence, so I put up a good fight. Still though, he won.
A few months after that, he held me at knifepoint. Twice. Both times I managed to calm him down. After that, he did some other things that I don't want to talk about.
I can't believe this is the same person who welcomed me home with hugs and kisses to the cheek after my volunteer aid trip, even though I was dirty and sweaty. When my dog died, he gave me a panda doll (pandas are my favourite animal) and we spent the day in downtown Frankfurt.
I am now in Canada studying for my Masters, and I still talk to him online and over the phone. Things have been good for some time now; yet I'm scared.
I feel weak, because I spend days crying now. I don't want to betray my best friend, but I feel like I already did. I told him when he was upset once that I'll be by his side forever, but I wasn't by his side. I'm sure he hates me.
When I think about all the negative influences he could've been exposed to, my body shakes and it feels like I'm about to go crazy.
What should I do?
TL;DR: | My best friend's past behaviur scares me. He beat me with a baseball bat, and he held me at knifepoint twice in the past. He's fine now though. What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Everything is going great between me [21M] with my MILF [36F] for the last 3 months except she keeps accusing me of cheating.
POST: I'm a senior in college dating a FINE 36 year old mother of three. We're exclusive and in kind of a pseudo-relationship. Her accusations are getting really old, really fast however.
A few weeks ago, I had an itch in my urethra. I had chlamydia one time, and so I was worried and told her I'd get checked. I told her I haven't been with anyone else, have you? or could you have had it without realizing? No? Okay, I'll get tested and let you know what the deal is.
She seemed distant over text so I asked what's up. She said something about me fucking dirty whores and I told her that's ridiculous and bullshit; I trust you, you don't trust me? Why would I even tell you about getting tested if I was fucking?? wouldn't I just hide it??
She cried. We made up. I thought we were past it. The test came back negative and the itch went away.
She's been busy with family lately so it's been awhile. We were texting yesterday, as usual. Then right before I went to sleep, as kind of a joke I texted her "Let's fuck. I'll let you finger me ;)." Then this morning, "Hola." Her response: "So when I can't come over you invite girls over?? Who was that text mean for?" I said "Huh?" And she accused me of playing dumb. She didn't respond to my next text or calls.
TL;DR: | My kinda-girlfriend is making baseless accusations against me and I'm getting real tired of it. I do everything I can to make her feel secure. Any tips? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24/M] and my gf [23/F] have had a rough 3 or 4 months. I love her, but we might be reaching different points. Need some advice
POST: I've been dating her for a year and a half. She is my first serious girlfriend, and when we started I saw us ending up together. She's looking at nursing schools outside the state, and I'm working. We've had some rough months recently with some arguments and just generally getting on each others nerves. This has lead to a riff with us being together all the time like we used to because I now see it as a struggle. We're also just generally not doing as many fun things together. Part of is schedule, I work until around 8pm during weekdays and always work Saturday's (1 day off a week usually Sunday). She told me last night she isn't happy, and she blames me for not putting any effort in. I know what she's saying because it's true, but not because I don't love her, I just feel tired in the relationship because it's gone cold somewhat.
This girl is special and I love her more than anything, but a part of me feels like I need to let her go in order to see if it's the real thing. I'm afraid if I do that she'll move away and I won't see her again. I'm sure you're going to say that's the risk and you have to decide, but it's tough...any help is appreciated.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend and I are in a tough spot in our relationship. Need some advice on how to move forward or if letting go is the best option. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I may have found an abandoned/lost dog near a vacant house. What should I do?
POST: Details - There is a house for sale, that appears to be vacant, near where a friend of mine lives. Upon visiting said friend recently, I discovered that their is a dog seeking shelter and living in a small lean-to attached to the side of a shed. He has two collars (one I believe is a flea-tick collar) but there aren't any tags. I believe he is deaf or partially deaf as he doesn't respond to whistles, clapping, or calling. It does look like he's hurt one of his paws and I think he's got an injury in his mouth but he wouldn't sit still long enough for me to get a better look.
Someone has been feeding him and been giving him water every few days from the looks of it, but judging by the lack of maintenance of the yard and the house, I have reason to believe that it's just a concerned neighbor. However, no one seems to know who the dog belongs to, if anyone at all.
I plan on calling the realtors in the morning to inquire about the dog. However, in the meantime, I'm worried about his health and safety. I've tried bringing him up to my friend's house, but he doesn't stay there but for a minute or two. I could bring him inside and give him a bath and some fresh food, but I know that as soon as I let him back out, he'll just run back to the house.
What should I do? Your advice and help in the matter would be greatly appreciated.
TL;DR: | Found lost/abandoned and possibly injured dog who won't leave vacant home. Don't know how to handle situation. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What can I do/say to get my little brothers out-of-box broken laptop replaced at Best Buy?
POST: My first post!
So, It's Christmas day, my family is finally opening our much anticipated gifts. (We've always opened Xmas eve so there was more suspense this year!)
My little brother opens his big ol' gift, it's a new laptop!!! Perfect entertainment to pass the extra time he has when he's working on camps in the middle of nowheres.
Alas, all is not well. The laptop, fresh from it's factory sealed wrap and box, has a crack on the screen. A crack that prevents it from displaying anything what-so-ever.
Holiday celebration ends after new years, we all arrive at home. My Dad goes into Best Buy last week to see what they will do to replace/fix it. I'm told some snooty young guy in his taunting blue polo and Khakis basically tells my Dad they'll do nothing and he's *$#'ed.
There's a few Best Buys in town and I'm going with him in a couple days to try another.
**Reddit**, if anyone can give me an edge it's you! What can we say/do/demand... that will help us get justice?
TL;DR: | Brother opens laptop for Christmas, BROKEN! :( One Best Buy stores refuses to replace it, going to another soon and need Reddit's advice on how to get justice! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [22F] am dissatisfied with the quantity/quality of sex w/ my boyfriend [21M] of 3 years. How do I tell him w/o making him feel like it's an obligation or emasculating him?
POST: I think my boyfriend and I mis-matched libidos, I want sex 3-4 times a week, but he seems happy with once every week or two. I know he masturbates to porn ~3 times a week, so I'm not sure if "mis-matched libidos" is the right term, but he definitely wants real-life sex less than I do. This leads to him rejecting me a lot, which feels pretty terrible.
It also means that when we do have sex it doesn't last very long b/c it's been so long since the last time. The only way I can finish that fast is if we're in missionary, so essentially our sex life has turned into ten mins of missionary every week or two. We used to (ie. for the first two years of our relationship) do lots of different positions and have sex ~3 times a week.
Basically I am dissatisfied, but I don't know how to bring it up to him without making him feel emasculated or hurting his ego. His natural response to being hurt is getting defensive, so I need a way to tell let him know that I want him to put more into our sex life without having him shutdown. I also don't want him to feel like having sex is an obligation he has to carry out.
How would you want to your partner to break it to you that they want more/better sex? How can I make him understand how important this is to me and how bad I feel when he turns me down? Should I be concerned that he still masturbates a few times a week but seem disinterested in real-life sex?
TL;DR: | The quantity and quality of sex has gone downhill, my boyfriend is less interested in sex than I am. How do I tell him I want to have more/better sex without hurting his ego? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Possible incest situation with my [26F] boyfriend [28M], please help!
POST: My boyfriend and I have been dating for three years. This past month, I moved in with him. He works as a personal trainer at the local Y, and I am going to school, and spend a lot of time at home while he is at work. Yesterday morning, after he left for work, I started to clean under the bed because we are making space for a bigger bed since I moved in. I stumbled upon a shoe box full of old pictures of his mom, most of them in lingerie or swimsuits...and that was all that was in the box. I don't know why he would have these photos. It's really freaked me out and I'm not sure if I should confront him about what I've found. Is my boyfriend sexually attracted to his mother?
TL;DR: | Moved in with boyfriend, while cleaning found a box of pictures of his mother in lingerie and swimsuits - wondering if I should confront him or if he is sexually attracted to his mother? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I'm a freshman in college and terrified I might be pregnant.
POST: I dont really even know where to start with this but I'm sort of freaking out at the moment so I turned to reddit. I'm 19 and a freshman at a liberal arts university thats about an hour from my hometown.
I've been with my boyfriend for almost 10 months now and for the last five I've been on the birth control pill. It's sometimes suggested to use a back up method while on the pill but since we are both clean and I'm very good about taking my pill on time and not missing pills I chose not to.
I do, however, get frequent UTIs, including one that led to a kidney infection. I have read that some antibiotics can cancel out the pill, rendering it ineffective for the rest of that cycle. I began my last dose of antibiotics on Christmas day and my boyfriend has pulled out every time we've had sex since then.
Recently my breasts have been very sore and I've had back pain, and I've gotten periodicly nauseous the past couple days. I finished my pill pack Saturday and should get my period this week but I havent gotten it yet. Sometimes it takes a little time to start, but no more than a day.
I know the chances that I could actually be pregnant should be slim and that I'm probably overanalyzing everything and freaking myself out but I cant shake this feeling. My boyfriend has been incredibly supportive and telling me not drive myself crazy over it until we know something, but I know he's worried too. I have so much at stake here; I'm an NCAA athlete and declaring as an art and english double major this semester. I have so much that I want to do and I love my boyfriend but getting pregnant right now is the last thing I need or want. I've told myself that if I dont get my period by Wednesday that I'll take a test and find out for sure. But I just dont know what to do and I can't stop thinking about it. What would you do? Does anybody have any advice?
TL;DR: | 19 year old college student on the pill, afraid antibiotics interfered with it and may be pregnant. period should have started either sunday or today but hasnt yet. |
SUBREDDIT: r/askwomenadvice
TITLE: Need some help surprising my wife.
POST: My wife's birthday is only two months away and I have a great idea for a birthday gift but I don't know how to execute it. We're in our early 20's so we don't have much money and we're putting as much away towards loans so she's not expecting much.
However, she's been wanting a Rebekah Scott purse for a really long time so I thought I'd get one for her. However, I went to the website and there are many many styles with even more fabric designs (you basically design your own purse). My question is do I pick something out for her and just hope she likes what I "build" for her, or do I get her a gift certificate so she can design it herself? Ideally, I think if I were to pick something out for her, it'd mean more, but she's pretty particular with her style so I'd hate to get something that she doesn't like. Especially if she has a style in mind? What should I do now?
TL;DR: | Do I buy my wife a purse (more of a surprise) or get a gift certificate so she can pick out the style she wants? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [25 M] love my GF [25 F] of 4 years, but I'm scared of getting married
POST: So I've been dating my current girlfriend for over 4 years now and we have a very strong relationship, but I'm starting to get pressured to tie the knot with her.
It's not that I fear commitment, but rather that I've seen the negative effects of marriage on other relationships, including my own parents, and I don't want the same to happen to me. It seems to me that marriage makes people stop loving their partner (Not many dates, no more trying to impress, etc.) and they just fall out of love. I have to witness my parents keep their marriage afloat for my younger sisters and it's just painful. Whenever I visit they're always arguing and both seem totally disconnected compared to when they were first married.
I feel like the bf-gf relationship makes us work for each other and is so rewarding, we stay in shape for each other, dress nicely, take care of our problems together, etc. but getting married would stop that. So basically if you read this whole thing, and you have experience or advice, what should I do? Just get married and see what happens? Or should I just keep doing what I'm doing? or some other option?
TL;DR: | Strong relationship for many years, being pressured by family and friends to tie the knot, but I've seen the effects marriage can have and I'm scared of letting it happen to me. Advice? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Should I [28 F] tell my [26 M] boyfriend I love him?
POST: I've been dating my boyfriend for about 5 months. It has been, by far, the best, most supportive, and loving relationship I've ever been in. We've both met each other's family and talk a lot about plans for the future. I am completely confident in him as a person and the direction we're going. I am head-over-heels in love for him and see potential for this to be a very long term partnership.
However, we haven't used the words "I love you" yet. I brought up the topic in a really roundabout way approximately three months in (telling him "I think I more than like you") and right away when I did he, in a completely respectful way, said he didn't think we'd been together long enough to be discussing the topic of being in love.
Two months have passed since then, and I've been careful not to push the topic. We both us the word "love" when we talk about each other (i.e., we've both said at one time or another "I love spending time with you" or "I love that about your personality", things along those lines). I use phrases that are similar, telling him he's very important to me and I think he's a wonderful person, and he's always responded by saying he feels the same way. Lately I've been feeling more and more like I can't contain the words and have a major urge to tell him that I am in love with him. This is exacerbated by the fact that there have been so many recent tragic events (shootings, bombings, sadness, ugh) and I am constantly reminded that life is short and I might not always have the opportunity to tell him he's loved. But, I'm nervous to do it because of our previous discussion. I don't want to push him into conversations he's uncomfortable with, or seem like I'm beating a dead horse.
TL;DR: | Should I tell my boyfriend I love him?? Or back off and let him be the one to take the first step? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My girlfriend(24f) is on vacation and isn't keeping in touch with me(21m).
POST: My girlfriend is home visiting her family in Cleveland that she hasn't seen in a year for 2 weeks. I understand she will wanna give them all of her attention so I told her to just text me every few hours to keep in touch rather than all day like we normally do.
The problem I am having is, yesterday we texted until about 2 in the afternoon and then I didn't hear from her for the rest of the night. I got pretty worried. She text me the next day and said that her phone died so she couldn't text me but she was sorry. I told her its okay and I understand but what's bothering me now is that the same exact thing happened again today. She texted me until about 12 and then nothing for the rest of the night.
My question is. Do you think it's just because shes spending time with her family and friends and being honest about her phone dying or. Am I right for feeling the way I do and stressing and thinking maybe she's doing something she shouldn't be.
TL;DR: | my girlfriend went home on vacation for 2 weeks and for the past 2 nights she has disappeared for about 7 hours with the excuse that her phone died and when. She gets back to me she just says shes sorry. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23m] with my girlfriend [23F] of 5 months are struggling with my co worker who I have hooked up with.
POST: I am a grad student and I moved to a new city where I eventually ended up hooking up with someone in my program. She then joined the same lab as me, which I then told her whatever was happening was over since she decided to work in the same lab as me.
I was in a relationship that ended due to my move and this hookup happened once and really meant nothing to me. It happened because I was in a new city where I knew no one and was just out of a relationship.
I told my now girlfriend this and she is uncomfortable with me having to spend work days in the same space as her. I did miscommunicate the amount of time I spent with my co worker because to me just being in the same space as someone isn't really spending time with them. I have no feelings whatsoever for this girl in my lab, and I don't appreciate the fact that she joined the same lab as me, but I can't do much about it.
Is there anything I can do to help my girlfriend be okay with this?
TL;DR: | Have to work in the same space as someone I once hooked up with. How can I help make things better with my girlfriend? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I have to move from AR to Cali in less than a month, but I can't find a home! Can anyone help?
POST: The long version: My husband received a raise offer that requires us to move from Jonesboro-Freaking-Arkansas to Los Angeles, CA. After doing a ton of math, we were able to determined that with the new paycheck, we can afford $1800 max for rent. I was looking for a new place last week when I found a great place in Tarzana for $1500. Due to the landlady being a flaky, bankrupt person, I'm now out of an agreement we had to move in July 13th.
Now that I'm looking for places again, I keep beating my head against a wall of scam homes and OWN A PLACE FOR ONLY $??? A MONTH ads. I'm stressing out trying to find a place to live for my family (and 3 cats and 2 budgies). Craigslist is not helpful, and the LA Times Classifieds online is such a pain in the ass to navigate (powered by Apartments.com or some crap). Does anyone know where I can find anything?
TL;DR: | Landlady screwed me out of my new apartment, and I have to find a $1800 a month rent 2-3 bedroom home/apartment that allows 3 cats in less than a month. Help! D: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 F] with my SO [26 M] 3 years, Long-distance open to living together closed relationship; how do you stay with someone after they've cheated?
POST: My boyfriend and I used to be long distance and open but we ran into some problems with communicating to the other people we were dating so we decided to be closed, and then we moved in together.
A couple months ago while I was away, he drunkenly messaged someone on a dating site he used to talk to asking for pictures and I found out. We had a rough period for a while but he assured me he does not want to cheat on me and if the girl had replied he would have not pursued anything and would have immediately told me. It sounds very suspicious but I know that for most of his life he was pretty asexual, so sexuality in general is just very new to him and he's embarrassed by his own desires most of the time.
We worked things out.
Months later, maybe 5 months? We were apart again for a couple weekends in a row and he confessed that he had groped a mutual friend while he was sleeping and cuddling with her and told me afterwards. For context, we both agreed that it was find to cuddle with friends since this is something that happens often with us and he is 100% ok with me doing anything with anyone else as long as I let him know. I haven't really taken advantage of that since we've closed the distance.
We've agreed on some concrete rules where nothing can happen while we are not both there, and he knows he has to be more open with me and aware of his own desires. But, it's still hard to figure out ways he can actually work on that.
I understand that I'm making a choice that will likely lead me to being hurt a few more times but...he's my best friend, and I really want to make this work. But how can I build up trust with him? How do we make sure this doesn't keep happening?
TL;DR: | Have you ever successfully stayed with a cheater and what are your tips? Please don't litter the comments with "once a cheater always a cheater" unless you want to give me advice on having an open relationship. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22M] and my GF [18F] are dating for about a year and she can't get over my past
POST: So, I [22M] 've been dating my current girlfriend [18F] for about a year and we're having a healthy relationship soo far. However, we've always had an issue when it came to sex.
She's a virgin, which is fine by me and I would perfectly understand her not being ready yet, but just yesterday we had an argument about my past relationships. Back when I was 18 (I didn't know my current GF at that point), I dated and had sex with another female she's not very fond of.
Also, I had one night stands with 2 women I met on tinder about a year and a half ago.
Point being, she says she feels unconfortable to have sex with me because she always remembers my ex GF and how I, apparently, had a whole night of wild sex with her (which is far from what truly happened that day. It was my first time, so you can get the picture). She also blames my one night stands with those tinder women.
The fact is, I've decided to settle down and engage on a serious long-term relationship because I really love her. I'm actually planning on asking her to marry me in about a year, and I'm really confident about it.
How do I make her understand that It's no use to hook on to my past since I've long been though it?
(sorry for any mispelled words or grammar mistaker, it's been a while since I've practiced my english. Also, it's my first post on this sub)
TL;DR: | My GF can't get over the fact I had sex with other women before I met her. Any tips on how I can make up her mind? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me (19F) with my I don't even know (19M) he met up with another girl last night.
POST: Me and this guy, Charlie, have been seeing each other exclusively for just over a month but we aren't officially dating. Last night I got a text from my friend saying he'd seen Charlie with another girl at a shop in town. I've know this friend all my life, no attraction between us or anything so I knew he wasn't lying.
A few hours later at around 11pm, Charlie texted me saying he wanted to tell me something before my friends did. He explained he'd gone to see a friend of his and that she'd tried to make a move but he said no because we were exclusive. Because of the big time gap I assumed he was only telling me because my friends saw him, he claims he was going to tell me anyway.
This morning he texts me saying that we need to talk in person and this leads into a conversation about last night, he says that he doesn't want me to be mad at him and offered to tell me when he was going out with friends again. I said that'd be nice if that's what you want to do. Charlie then started telling me I have to do the same because I'm very secretive and don't keep him in the loop, excuse me what? He then says that the girl he saw last night wants him to stay over her place tomorrow night and he said I had to make plans with him so he could ditch her. I said I have to work early the next day to see if he would take the initiative to say no to her.
I don't want to say I don't trust him because of how early the relationship is, but this seems shady to me and I don't want to be played with. What do I say to him and what do I do?
TL;DR: | the guy I'm seeing went out with another girl, ran into my friends and didn't tell me anything until hours later. It seems shady. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20F] with my BF [22M] of 2 months. We are apart for Christmas, he got really drunk and told me (for the first time) that he loves me. I have problems with over-thinking strong feelings and don't want to push him away. What do I do?
POST: Frequent lurker, first time poster. Merry Christmas everyone!
My boyfriend T and I have known each other for six months and been together for two. Although it's a short amount of time, we've spent nearly all our free time together and have gotten to know one another very well. We're really happy and comfortable together.
T and I are 200 miles apart for Christmas. Last night, T spent Christmas Eve at the pub with his friends. We weren't really texting as we were both doing our own thing, however I texted him sometime after midnight to say Merry Christmas. He responded shortly after telling me that he loves me. I didn't respond right away as I didn't know what to say. Then he called me, said he thinks he means it, and to prepare myself because he wants to tell me in person.
Now, I know the affects of alcohol and definitely myself feel more loving after having had a few. Therefore, I brushed off what he said, told him to get some sleep and that we'd talk the next day. He called me this morning and apologized, said that he was embarrassed for his actions and I told him not to worry about it. I don't think he completely remembers everything he was saying which is probably for the best.
My issue is that I've devastated past relationships by over-analyzing, freaking myself out, and drawing back. Despite the fact that he was drunk last night, I know that T has strong feelings for me. I really like him and I don't want to follow my habitual cycle of pulling away when someone gets too close to me.
How can I move forward with my feelings in this relationship knowing that we feel strongly for each other? I'm scared. I don't want to screw this up by shying away from his affection, but at the same time it's the only thing I know. What do?
TL;DR: | BF and I are really into each other. He told me while pissed that he loves me. I can brush that off, but I'm scared I'm going to over-think feelings and pull away. SOS! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [m18]Need help with [F17]. Not exactly a relationship
POST: So, I've been kind of "with" someone for a few months. She was with someone when things first started happening and then she said she needed time to think about it before ending anything with him. We carried on what we were doing (sleeping together, making love and so on) and now she has moved to another college. At this point she has broke up with him, about a week before leaving and continues to talk to us both. She seems like she has left him. Up until a week ago I thought nothing of this, I truly believed her and then she started talking about how he wanted her back and that she didn't want him.
I thought this was very strange and she seemed like she was hiding something so, I did as the only way I thought I could find out the truth for real. I broke into her Facebook and looked at the messages. I know how terrible it was but it was the only way I could be certain. I know she isn't my girlfriend but I'm great with computers and well... I don't like to be fucked with. I got into it and saw messages from him about how much they missed each other and things like that. I asked her if she loved him still and she straight up said no. Which, is obviously, a lie.
I checked it again this morning as she seemed like she was hiding even more and so when I did it, it had her conversing with him about him wanting her and him sending her (dirty) pictures. She said she sent one back that was "kinda clean" (the message said "sorry it's kinda innocent"). A little bit later today I asked her if she had anything to tell me since she "felt bad" and she said no. I even asked if there is anything I should know and she said the same.
I honestly do think Iove her but another part of me just wants to expose her for who she is. I'm shaking and it's really horrible. What should I do?
TL;DR: | Brakes up with boyfriend when she moves out of town, says its for me and yet gets nudes from boyfriend still. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [24F] fiance's [26M] mother's house is causing our son to come back sick. How do I go about this?
POST: We've been together for four years and from the beginning, me and his mother have hated each other. When my son was a little over a month, she started screaming in my face and eventually kicked me in the shin.... Over laundry. Now, I've never been the type of person to have someone hit me in any type of way and just walk away like nothing happened so we ended up getting into a large physical fight and I haven't seen her since the fight. Before she kicked me, she called me a "trailer trash slut", "whore" and even threatened to take away my son. So after the fight, I didn't let her see my son for about a year. Of course, this really bothered my fiance and I ended up caving in and letting his mom see him. Well now three years have passed and I still haven't seen her since the fight. She just moved into her boss's house and every single time, my son comes back with an intense cough and runny nose. The other two times he was vomiting. He is only three years old so I can't ask him why he is coming back sick. So my question is, how can I go about this without upsetting my fiance? His response is to just give him allergy medicine because his mother recently got a cat. The allergy medicine isn't working and my fiance is defensive because he knows I hate her.
TL;DR: | My son keeps going to his grandmothers house and coming home sick. I don't know how to respond to this since my fiance knows I hate her and is very defensive over her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What is the strangest punishment you have experienced. How did you respond?
POST: Fifth grade, doesn't make much difference but it was an 'accelerated class' so we were all smart asses, My teacher Ms. Sukman (real name) snooped through my cubby desk and found a note I wrote to a girl. It said I would talk to her later once "Ms Sukman got the stick out of her ass." Next day in class She calls me up and has tears in her eyes and a 2 foot thorny rose stem on her desk, She says that she went on a walk and could not stop thinking about how I had made her feel bad. So, she told me to carry this stick around all day as a reminder of how my words can affect people. Along comes recess and my classmates are curious. I explain it and a light bulb goes off. *If can have a stick, so can everyone!* We all brought in sticks and She flipped. I got sent to the principal then home, She calls my parents and I have never heard my dad laugh harder in his life. She said I was taking over the class, causing anarchy and she had lost control. She quit 2 years later.
TL;DR: | Teacher made me carry a stick for a note , Whole class brought in sticks, Blamed for Anarchy. in 5th grade. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [27 M] with my Girlfriend's [25 F] Father. He is starving himself to prevent us going on vacation
POST: Here's the deal, my girlfriend and her dad are not on the best of terms, the family is very religious and my girlfriend is too, he doesn't know that we are dating but her mother has an idea, I am not of that religion and nobody outside of my girlfriend knows that part (at least in her family).
We've been planning this 5 hour road trip to a major city for months, we booked the hotel and are set to leave Friday, her mother told her father and he does not want my girlfriend (Jen) to go (he even thinks that Jen is going with friends) He has threatened to stop eating and has even followed through in the past, he is diabetic and not eating the best so this obviously concerns my girlfriend.
My point to her is this: if she gives in to him she is showing her dad that STARVING himself is a great way to get what he wants and should be done any time he needs something.
Her father just started speaking with Jen about 8 months ago after many years of not. She is also going through a lot of stress at home because her cousins are in from out of country and she has started a new class for grad school prep.
I really don't think this is healthy please help us out with this reddit!
TL;DR: | My girlfriend's father has starved himself in the past and is threatening to do so how to stop us from going on a vacation |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Difficulty moving on after breakup with my [27 M] ex-fiance [26 F] of 7.5 years, we have a child together
POST: About 7 months ago, my ex-fiance told me she didn't want to get married. We cancelled the wedding. She moved out within a week. We have a 1.5 year that we now share custody of.
She was my first girlfriend, we were together for almost 8 years, we lived together and we have a child together. I was completely taken by surprise when she said she didn't want to get married. Her reason was because she wasn't happy & she didn't want to be miserable for the rest of her life. I respected her decision and agreed we shouldn't get married, even though that was the last thing I wanted to do. At the time of our breakup, I thought to myself that I shouldn't try to convince someone who wasn't happy to stay in a relationship with me, so I didn't.
It's been seven months and I'm having the same feelings I did the day of our breakup. I love her, she was a great partner, and we have a child together. I get anxiety thinking of her and our son with another man in their lives. Mostly because her judge of character is flawed, she is quick to make friends shitty/bad people (I wedged myself into her life, imo I'm not a irresponsible person). She is too nice & is quick to trust just about anyone.
I guess what I'm looking for is some advice from someone who dealt & overcame a similar situation. I can't spend the rest of my life feeling like this. I went to counsling but I can no longer afford it, so I'm looking for help here.
TL;DR: | called off wedding seven months ago, two weeks before it was supposed to take place. She was my first gf, together 7.5 years, have a 1.5 yr old together. Im having a hard time moving on. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [30M] possibly becoming long term caregiver for Wife [25F] - need advice on how to proceed
POST: My wife and I have been married for 6 years, have 2 kids, ages 5 and 1. My wife is a stay at home mom, I work full time, just finished grad school. My wife almost died about 2 years ago due to a pneumthorax/collapsed lung/pneumonia. Randomly got the flu, she vomited and tore a hole in her esophagus which allowed bacteria/residue to get into, causing all the problems that are leading up to today.
Prior to this injury, my wife did not have any lung issues. Since then she has had horrible asthma that causes flare ups when she gets a head or chest cold that almost always require hospitalization. She is going back in the hospital this afternoon and for more testing and follow ups. Aside from the constant hospitalization, I have burned all of my PTO taking off to watch the kids when she is in the hospital. Our respective families aren't of much help at all and this time it's looking a little worse than usual.
I need help trying to figure out how to adjust to the reality that I might have to become a long term caregiver rather than just the usual working dad. I think I have kind of silently come to terms with the fact that she may not be able to work or finish school due to her health issues and it's scaring me a bit. We have tons of medical debt that I can't even begin to touch, wife wants to buy a house in a few years and with all of the medical bills in collections plus my student loans which start next year, I literally cannot even fathom buying anything let alone a house. My wife and I have been fighting a lot more recently due to all the stress from money, health, family, etc and it's taking a toll on our marriage as well.
I am at a loss as to how to proceed either financially or supportively from a spouse's standpoint and I'm not sure I can support a family of 4 on one income the rest of our lives either. I feel like I'm drowning in worries and I don't really know what else to do than what I'm already doing.
TL;DR: | Wife has health issues that may require me to be a long term caregive the rest of our lives, unsure of how to proceed. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Gf(23) is a chronic liar and I(22) don't know how to convince her otherwise.
POST: Been together 8mnths in Jan btw.
Now, I'm not a judgmental person. I want to stress that I am not angry at her for lying, as as far as I'm concerned it's just another (albeit weird) way of communicating. But I'm not everybody, and I'm worried it's going to land her in a lot of trouble in her other relationships.
For example: last week we had an argument about how I feel she never does anything around the house, and she proceeded to rattle off a list of things she'd done - vacuum, take the bins out, scrub the shower, cleaned the windows, etc etc etc it was a very long and exaggerated list. However, she had done *none* of those things, and she knew it. I kinda just sat there and looked at her oddly, and eventually she did the dishes and went to bed. Pyrrhic victory, but I'll take it.
Anyway, that's not an issue I want to get into - the point is why the weird lie? And others: I really want to go see a movie with her, but she says she's already seen it (she hasn't), when I offered her a mouthful of my dinner she said she hated chicken, but she'd had a schnitzel just a few days earlier. I can see why she lies on an individual basis, but it just baffles me as to why she does it on such a mass scale?
TL;DR: | Gf tells (revelatory) lies on a regular - daily basis. I want to help resolve this problem, I do, but we need to understand it first. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Last night I [17M] caught my sister [20F] and her friend from college [19F] sneaking out very late, both were probably drunk and were picked up by someone I didn't recognize, should I tell my parents?
POST: My sister is back from college with a friend and staying at my parents house with me, and while we usually get along, she has been incredibly rude to everyone in the house. She's told her friends personal things about me and my parents, and whenever I drive her (she doesn't have a license) she disrespects my car by putting her feel on the dashboard, etc.
The point is that she has been a royal bitch since she has been back, and last night I was woken up at around 2am by loud talking and shutting of drawers coming from her room. She even turned on the light outside my door, which initially woke me up. I was pissed and told her to "turn the fucking light off." She responded by telling me "Don't be such an asshole, it we're (her and her friend) leaving in a minute anyway."
As promised they left in some car a couple minutes later and I went to bed. So of course I'm concerned for her safety and the safety of her friend who my parents are responsible for, but also she has been a bitch and it would be nice payback to tell them. On the other hand, I don't want to be the classic snitchy-little-brother.
TL;DR: | Sister has been a bitch, snuck out with friend who my parents are responsible for, I'm not sure if I should tell my parents |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 M] with my Ex Girlfriend [22 F] 2 year relationship, is trying to "push my buttons" and I am not sure the best way to handle it.
POST: My ex and I broke up over a month ago but we are both still hurt about it. I sent her a birthday present and she sent it right back, at that point I knew even a friendship could not happen.
However, she has me blocked on every social media site but yet she unblocks me, scrolls through my stuff, and even goes on profiles of girls I had a thing with in the past to see if I liked any of their photos.
Once she sees I have, she then goes to her ex's profile and likes pictures that have had been posted for 5 days.
I know she is doing that in hopes I see it and react by calling her out on it and I have in the past, which is why she is doing it. But I am refraining myself from doing so.
So my question is, what should I do? Should I simply block her and tell the other girls to block her as well? Ignore it and brush it off (even though it does kind of get to me)? What is the best low-key thing to do?
TL;DR: | Ex is trying to get me jealous out of spite of me liking photos of my flings on social media and she reacts by doing the same thing. It kinda gets to me but I know it's retaliation. What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by realising my mistake
POST: So Internet...
I have placed an ad on a popular website here in the UK (Gumtree). The advert is for my car, the ad has been live on the website for 15 days now.. Last night I was thinking to myself why haven't I got any calls or tbh.. Anything lol. Decide to check the ad and to make sure everything is correct.. This is where I realised the fu I did... The car's mileage has an extra comma.. Thinking to myself "Oh what's going on here" I look carefully at the mileage I see that there's extra an 0. So instead of reading "102,380" the ad has "1,023,800". I added extra 0 by accident.
Car is on a million miles.. Maybe this is why people haven't been trying to contact me and the car hasn't been sold yet
TL;DR: | Posted an ad to sell car, fu by putting an extra 0 on the mileage section making people think it's done over a million miles! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I miss being lovesick and I feel stupid for it
POST: I remember when I fell in love and it was mutual for the first time in my life. I was a little dumb girl with 13 yo but I was so excited that I stayed awake all night long just laying in bed and thinking about how lucky I was. It was the happiest time of my life, for 6 months or so.
Now that I'm all grown up (20) and finally am in the first stable and healthy long-term (2,5 years) relationship ever , I caugh myself missing those feelings every once in a while. And I'm not even sure if I really want to have that kind of love for someone again, it turned out to be a complete mess because I was so love blind that I didn't realized I was falling into a dark place. And sure the whole thing about being happy and excited every minute of the day and the feeling of deep belongingness was good, but now that I racionalize it, it can be kind of scary to lose control over yourself like that.
Plus I feel like I have an awesome relationship with my actual bf, it feels like we're best friends and lovers at the same time, but still I keep thinking that something is missing and I feel really bad about it because he's the first real great guy in my life.
Is anyone here with the same experience?
TL;DR: | I'm in an amazing relationship for the first time but still miss the thrill of being love sick and feel bad about it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Trying to figure out how to get out from under $10k+ non-credit debt.
POST: I currently owe money on 12 credits at a local University. Due to a substantial amount of foolishness on my part this has ballooned into thousands of dollars I can't pay.
Backstory: I moved to Oregon in October of 2007. Summer the following year I enrolled at Portland State University for two summer courses, a Calculus course which was equivalent to the regular single semester course and their Freshman Inquiry class which allowed me to take the full year's class in one go. This all seemed like a good way to get myself on the right track at the time.
However, I did not realize at the time that I was not yet considered a resident student thanks to not having been Oregon twelve months yet. Add on to this my father's total unwillingness to cosign a loan, and his blowing me off every time I wanted to fill in his info for my FAFSA. EVERY *SINGLE* **TIME**.
I went through the classes & did fine. Especially well for the calculus, considering I couldn't afford to buy the book due to no job, a problem that is constantly plaguing me.
When it came time to sign up for fall classes I of course couldn't because I didn't have any money to pay for my classes.
So now here I am, caught in a financial catch-22. I need an education to get a job that pays well enough for me to pay off this debt. But I can't pay for this education I need because I can't get a loan to cover what financial aid won't to get the education needed to get the job that pays well enough.
Is it wrong for me to wish massive hard drive corruption amongst the financial industry? I feel like Fight Club has the answer more and more these days.
TL;DR: | Screwed on 12 creds at school, can't afford to pay even when working. Wish I knew Tyler Durden. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [27 F] with my steady dating partner [33 M] 6 weeks, different communication needs
POST: I've been dating the most amazing, attentive, affectionate, brilliant man. We met in a flag football league and hit it off.
I've had some flirtatious and promising first interactions and dates, but have never sparked with someone quite like this. We see each other 2-4 days a week (usually 4) depending on our schedules. We have similar life goals/paths, intellect, values, politics, and really enjoy each other's company.
Now, the issue: I enjoy texting/talking with the people I care about. I don't need to talk on the phone for two hours a day or send walls of texts and heart emojis back and forth, but I think it's normal and polite to ask how your partner is doing once a day at some point - and to hold a conversation about the answer.
My guy is not much of a texter. He called me once to chat when he realized I would like that, but never again. He does text at least once a day and will engage in a short conversation, occasionally a few short convos per day, sometimes much less. He sometimes lets conversations drop at an awkward place, or forgets to reply. IF something important is going on with me, he will give it his full attention, but he doesn't consistently ask how I am or how work has gone, etc.
Any thoughts on how to proceed? I'm torn between thinking this is petty and to get over it, and seeing it as a sign of a disconnect between our emotional needs.
TL;DR: | What to do if almost-boyfriend doesn't text or call often and you feel out of sight, out of mind? Dealbreaker or nbd? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My GF [19F] confessed to me [18M] that she watches porn and is incredibly embarrassed about it, while I think it's no big deal. How to proceed?
POST: We've been going out for just over a month and a half. Somehow she let slip that she watches porn. She told me she'd wanted to tell me but the topic made her very uncomfortable, that she felt 'unfeminine' because of it, and that it's weird for a girl to do such a thing.
I tried to explain to her that I thought it was pretty awesome, that I'm pretty sure everyone watches or has watched porn, and that it's a completely normal thing to do.
Did I do the right thing? I respect her feelings and tried to state my side of things as painlessly as possible for her, but it just seems silly to me. Should I convince her not to be so shy about it or let it be? I don't want to pick at this sore subject, but I feel bad that she's so worked up over what is, to me, a non-issue.
TL;DR: | My girlfriend told me she watches porn and is horribly embarrassed about it. I think it's no big deal. How should I tread around this subject? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: What does she want? (Virgin Problems). Me [19 M] her [19 F]
POST: I met this girl through a mutual friend. We have talked for a while and we both like each other, We have agreed to hangout and see each other soon, she even wants to stay over.
She has been with multiple guys, I have told her I am a virgin and I plan on staying that way for the foreseeable future, but she says she is fine with it, but still wants to come over.
I told her I'm not going to do anything with her currently, and I wouldn't think about it unless we ever decided to pursue a relationship.
She has made jokes about "corrupting" me, and was actually upset when I told her when she stays over, she will be able to sleep in the guest room.
She said she would be interested in a relationship after we hangout some more, but currently I don't know what she wants. Should I cancel this? Any advice?
TL;DR: | Girl and I both like each other, I am a virgin and she isn't, I want to stay that way for now, but she still wants to stay-over and hangout |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by eating McNuggets
POST: I had to wait until the weekend to post this, as per the rules. It was a casual thursday evening and we were hanging out at mcdonalds, so naturally a couple of us decide to split a 20 piece order of mcnuggets. I also got a mcflurry because they're fucking delicious.
We eventually make our way to starbucks and hang out there, but soon I begin to feel some sharp, lower intestinal pains, and ask for the code to the bathroom. Turns out this starbucks has no bathroom, so I tell my friends some excuse about buying water and make my way back to mcdonalds, sphincter clenched as tightly as possible. I never get how you guys shit yourselves so often but that was the closest I've been since I was in diapers.
After a block and a half of jogging (I figured a sprint would be disastrous) with my phone in my hand so it wouldnt fall out of my pocket, I enter the famous establishment and rush to the bathrooms, shoving the phone in my hoodie pocket. Ok, no line. First bathroom? Shit! It's locked! Second bathroom? Success! I scurry in, quickly lock the door and throw down my pants and toilet seat, not really checking for cleanliness. I just barely manage to avoid shitting my pants. The catch? In the process of doing all of this, as I sat down my phone somehow slipped out of my hoodie pocket and fell between my legs into the toilet, by which point my anal evacuation was already halfway complete anyway. I looked down, realized the fate of my phone was sealed, and shamefully flushed toilet.
TL;DR: | Managed to avoid shitting myself by seconds... at the cost of my phone. I'm due for an upgrade in two weeks so there's that. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Parenting
TITLE: How do I right my 9 month old's reverse schedule?
POST: My daughter is breastfed and early on decided that she didn't like bottles. She flat out refused them when she started daycare at 2 ½ months. I started driving to her daycare on my lunch break to feed her and then I would feed her again when I went to pick her up. Then when we got home she would eat every hour and a half or so until bedtime and then wake around 3 times a night to eat. From what I've read, this is extremely common and is usually referred to as reverse cycling. Basically, she makes up for not eating during the day by eating lots at night.
Fast forward seven months and she finally decided that she will drink from a bottle! It's not an easy job for my daycare provider but she can now routinely get her to drink 8-10 ounces a day. Plus I'm still driving over there on my lunch breaks and feeding her before we leave in the evenings. (I think that this is more for me now than her. Plus it helps me keep up a good supply and I don't have to pump so much.)
Now that she's nearing 10 months and eating more solids (though she's not a big fan for some reason) plus she's drinking her bottles regularly, I think she shouldn't need to eat so much at night. She is still waking frequently at night, however, and will only go back to sleep by nursing. We are co-sleeping so it's not too terribly difficult most of the time, but I'd like to recall what 4 continuous hours of sleep feels like eventually.
I have tried giving her a pacifier and rocking her for about 5 minutes or so before giving in and giving her the boob, but that's about all I can handle late at night before losing my sanity. I can't let her cry it out – I just don't have it in me and don't think it's the best option out there. I just don't know what else to do. Any ideas, reddit?
TL;DR: | My almost 10 month old wakes up multiple times per night and will only go back to sleep by nursing. How do I fix this so we all get more sleep? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [18 M] don't know how to deal with my family anymore.
POST: I'm 18 and living with my parents and younger brothers. Currently everyone is my house hates eachother including my parents and it gets me really depressed when things like this happened.
It started because of a fight me and my younger brother(In high school) had because I wouldn't fix his video games. I refused because of a fight we had the other day that made me reach a point where I don't want to talk to him anymore until he apologizes and sees what he did wrong. This led to him going on a rampage crying and screaming and of course my parents blame me. I'm always the one blamed even though I don't do anything wrong and I'm old enough to realize if I'm right or wrong in the situation which they don't understand at all and still continue to put the blame on me. My brother seriously needs help(therapy) and my parents think its completely normal for a high schooler to be acting like this over video games.
Now my parents are fighting and everyone is hostile and I'm in my room depressed and lost. I don't know what to do and honestly hate my whole family but deep down I know it shouldn't be like this and I want everyone to be happy and get along. Also my parents get mad at me for acting like the "parent" all the time but my parents don't do crap. I'm leaving for college next year and honestly don't want to come home ever again after I leave. I don't know what to do.
TL;DR: | Whole family hostile against eachother and I'm depressed and want everyone to get along. I also want my parents to see my side of the situation and not blame me for everything. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Volunteered for a year and now have to pay off student loans. Help!
POST: So I'm just getting out of a year of volunteer work after having graduated college. I have no savings and can't count on my parents to help me out. In 2 weeks, I start 'the real world' with a salaried job, but that also means starting to pay my student loans. I've heard great things from friends about this subreddit, so I was wondering if you guys might be able to help me out if with how to pay off my student loans (space out my payments or pay as much off at once?) and advice on how much to save from each paycheck (for future stability and potential vacations)? One thing that I'm definitely concerned about is over spending since I've never had much money in my bank account.
Here's a breakdown of my income:
-I volunteer, currently making $480 biweekly; will have my final stipend at the end of the month
-Not enough saved up to count for anything
-Starting another job in July with biweekly installments of what should be around $1000
-$5,600 education award that can only go towards paying off loans and/or grad school
Here's the gist of my expenses:
-$1130 monthly expenses (including rent, apartment bills, health insurance, & travel expenses)
-$16,350 total loans plus interest rates
I've been using food stamps for the past year, but I'm assuming that I will be spending around $300/month in food including groceries and eating out
TL;DR: | – Was a volunteer for a year with no savings. Need some advice on how to budget myself and start paying off my student loans. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I think my neighbor is selling drugs. What can I do? (Besides buy drugs from them.)
POST: I live in a town home community that's just north of Atlanta. It's not the "ghetto" or anything like that. However, lots of people are renting their houses out because of the economy and what not.
Now the guy that lives across the street from me has been having some unusual guests the last couple of months. People come and go and there's been about 10 people that have been "living" at the house on and off. These are only 2 bedroom houses so there's no way 10 people could live in it comfortably.
Not to be rude but the people that have been coming and going have been very rough around the edges and usually drive beat up cars. Here's how the typical interaction goes.
Car shows up.
Passenger jumps out.
Goes into house.
Comes back in 5 minutes.
Car Leaves.
This happens about 3-5 times a day with random people.
Besides this I don't have any evidence nor do I know how to get more evidence.
Is this something I can just call the police and say "My neighbor has strange activity and I think they're selling drugs?" Or any other way to handle it?
TL;DR: | Neighbor has strange people come and go all the time. They all look like meth addicts. Can I just call the police and ask them to look into it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [17F] mom's bf [45M] just told me he's going to propose to my mom [42F] tomorrow
POST: Hi there. I'm sorry if this isn't the technically 'correct' subreddit, but technically this is a relationship and I just need some advice.
So my mom's bf just texted me saying he got my mom's ring to propose to her tomorrow. This isn't really a surprise as they have been looking at rings for a while and we've lived in his house for a year now.
Even though it's nothing new, I started to cry when my mom's bf texted me this. Having split parents has never been easy, and I cried when my dad proposed to my (now) step mom. I was always waiting for when my mom's bf would actually pop the question, but it's been talked about for so long with no new moves that I just put it in the back of my mind. But now it's a reality and I'm sad.
My mom has been waiting for this and I know when he asks she'll talk about it nonstop, and I'm not looking forward to it. Of course, I'm glad she'll be happy, but it's not easy for me, because it feels like I'm losing my mom. This happened when my dad got remarried too, I felt like I was losing him and it put a huge strain on our relationship for the past few years, and I'm worried that'll happen again but with my mom. How should I approach this situation and what can I tell myself to feel better and not get into the same mind set that messed up my father and my relationship over the year.
TL;DR: | My mom's bf is going to propose to her and I'm sad by it and need some advice on how to handle this situation and not feel like I'm going to lose my mom because she's going to get married. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [22M] think I like my boyfriend's [22M] best friend [21M]...
POST: I [22M] have been dating my boyfriend [22M] for about 6 months. I hung out with him and his best friend [21M] for the first time ever the other day. His best friend is totally awesome and him and I have so much in common. I messaged him and told him to let us know when he's available to hang out again.
He messaged me yesterday (Sunday night) and told me he was free, but my boyfriend didn't want to go. So, I hung out with my boyfriends best friend alone for about 4 hours. We walked, talked, and caught Pokemon. I found myself enjoying every second of the conversation and he's such a nerd about stuff which is totally adorable. He even said, "I'm starting to like you more than him..." meaning my boyfriend and they've been friends since they were kids. I just have a lot of mixed feelings going on right now and I don't know what to do. My boyfriends friend isn't gay, but he's curious and never dated girls.
That being said, I've never cheated and I never will. If I know I'm starting to like my boyfriends best friend more and more, is it cheating to continue to hang out with him??
TL;DR: | After hanging out with my boyfriends best friend, I think I'm starting to like him and don't know what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Why do I torture myself by falling for girls who're taken? [21M] (X-Post/AskMen)
POST: I don't know what's wrong with myself. I seem to like to torture myself by falling for girls who aren't into me or are taken. Why? Because I connect with those girls best. For some of them I'm their "ears" where they can dump all their relationship woes on me and I'll sympathise and give advice to. For some we just have a connection, either Tumblr or movies or books or TV series or anime or any random/weird hobbies we have in common, but by the time we truly connected she's taken and it'll be awkward to continue on with those fun conversations and little lunch-meets (not even dates).
Why do I keep doing this to myself? I don't know how to stop crushing/obssessing over these girls... Am I crushing on them because they're taken? Or is it just bad timing/luck/just not meant to be with any of them? What do you redditors say?
TL;DR: | My love life consists of me crushing on those girls who are taken and it's ruining my emotional life. I'm 21 and I've never kissed a girl, let alone doing the deed. What's wrong with me? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by lying to my friend's mom and calling her a "little cunt" in the process
POST: This actually happened a few years ago as most TIFU post's did, but I only realized what I did a few hours ago.... literally....
So a little background. When going on holidays to the south of my country, I met another kid, who later became my first friend ever (we were both 2 at the time). I was a dick as a kid, I'd push other kids constantly to interact. I pushed him, he pushed me, we became the greatest friends ever.
So more recently, around 2009 we went back there again. Both our families. We left dinner early so we could fuck around in the hotel lobby. After an hour of running around like two normal kids, I got a text from an unknown number (I thought it was a friend of mine prank texting me). It was 1am, so this made sense. The text said something which I can't quite remember, all I remember was answering "You fucking woke me up you little cunt". Minutes later I get an answer saying "how, it's me, (Friend's name)'s mother?"
I told him this, he fucking laughed through days... I literally did not know what to do but at all costs avoid talking to her again. The shame was real.
TL;DR: | Was in a hotel lobby with a friend. His mom texts in an unknown number knowing we were down there. I answer "You fucking woke me up you little cunt" basically embarrassing my self by being an idiot. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [23] M and [20] F. Girlfriend has feelings for another guy and is insinuating she wants to leave me
POST: X-posted this from relationships.
-We've been together in a long distance relationship.
-I'm in Toronto, and shes on the New York side.
We have been visiting each other several times a year for a week/2 week long visits. While I genuinely care about her and the chemistry is good sometimes, it hasn't been smooth all the time and there has been a growing sense that we might break up. The long distance doesn't help. Some issues:
-she complains I don't communicate enough when we're not together (in different countries)
-shes upset I cant tell her I love her
-While I care about her and enjoy spending time with her, I'm not super lovely dovey infatuated (which she is or was). Ive had my heart broken in the past and I haven't really fallen hard for anyone like that since.
Recently she messaged me telling me she wanted to be honest and that another guy shes met told her that he loved her.. and that she has feelings for this guy now. They haven't done anything yet.
I'm upset about the situation and I think its not going to end where my feelings are not hurt. She will try to tell me the break-up is about the relationship and some of its weak points, but she's already told me about this other guy.. I wont be able to get over the fact that shes just dumped me because she's found another relationship that suits her better.
For me, the best way to do this would be to break-up respectful of the relationship and why its not working and just be single for awhile. I cant get over the fact that this other guy is in the flip and is affecting her decision. Being dumped sucks, being dumped for someone else though? (even though she hasn't said this, the writing is on the wall). Tell me this isn't the right way to do things.
TL;DR: | Long-distance girlfriend of 1-year has feelings for another guy and has told me. Don't know how to proceed without feelings getting hurt |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 M] and my gf [28 F] have taken a break because of how she talks to me
POST: My gf and I have our fair share of issues but lately she has been
worse than normal. she has 2 kids I have 1 , I lived with her so
we're with her kids everyday while we see my son 3 times a week.
I'm a younger guy so being a stepdad to her 6 and 4 year old
while maintaining my relationship with my own 2 year old is
hard. I love her very much but her kids are the most difficult
children I've ever encountered. One year in, and I've lost my job
so my gf has all the pressure to pay the bills while i play stay at
home dad until i get another job. fast forward 3 months and im
still unemployed. we get into an arguement like every 4 days
about how we need more money coming in, she calls me lazy
unmotivated and belittles my title as a man. I'm not one to dish
out verbal abuse and im extremely passive so for weeks ive sat
back and taken it. that changed with her most recent rant about
my joblessness and efforts as a stepfather, she went too far by
saying i should learn to accept her kids by asking my babymothers
boyfriend how he does it with my son. I got so upset I packed my
things and left the same day. And we haven't spoken since , its
been 4 days. I miss her dearly when things were good we were
the perfect couple. I need help on what i should do next.
TL;DR: | GF and I are split up beacuse i've lost my job and all the financial resposibility fell on her, her stress had led to her verbally abusing me and worsening my depression. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [M,26] finds my girlfriends [F,28] friends super boring... How I am supposed to handle this?
POST: Hi everyone,
Here is a bit of context. My girlfriend comes from a very different cultural background than me (I'm an expatriate in an asian country). We've been dating for more than three years and even if we're doing good, minus the occasional argument.
The thing is she's very different from her friends, she always been singled out as a bit weird and eccentric. And we got a lot of common things.
But here is the issue, her friends are such a boring lot in comparison. *Seriously.* They don't go out, they don't listen to music, they all watch the same boring tv shows, etc... I've tried everything to bound (even learning Chinese, trying to overcome the barrier) but I've got absolutely no common interest with them. And all those social meetings are incredibly painful for me. But I don't want my girlfriend to start not seeing her friends, I think it's important in a relationship that you keep outside contact.
So currently I either go (very unwillingly... and my girlfriend does not like it) , or I just stay home. I feel a bit like I'm missing a part of her life. On the other hand, she does not have issues with most of my friends.
TL;DR: | my girlfriend is very different from her friends, who are incredibly boring. I don't know how to manage it. Any tip or perspective? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [19 F] feel like I'm being harassed by a former friend [23 M]
POST: Sorry, it's kind of long,
A few months ago I was dealing with a terrible break up. I was really depressed and felt lonely. This guy from a school club I was in invited to his house to play some video games. I did and I actually had a good time for a while. Then he starts making bets with me and the deal was, if he won he gets to kiss me. I was fine with it but he basically got on top of me to do it. I was pretty uncomfortable but didn't speak up because I didn't want him to feel like he was scaring me. Anyway night progressed and he asks me to sleep over. I was kinda dumb thinking he actually meant sleep. But basically it consisted of him touching me all night while watching TV and me being super and I think noticeably uncomfortable. Then we go to bed. This was about an hour of him basically on top of me, touching, and rubbing himself on me while I tried desperately to pretend to sleep. He kept saying things in my ear like "I know you're awake" and whatever but I just kept my eyes closed. Eventually he let off a bit and fell asleep.
Basically now I've been really wondering what exactly happened that night. I don't feel too violated. But I am the president of that club we're both in and I see him twice a week as well as all the times on our tiny campus. He acts normal, actually still flirty and a bit creepy. Like he volunteers for all the same stuff and if I'm hanging out with a mutual friend, he happens to stop by every time. It actually happened this past weekend. Out club is also taking an overnight trip in about 2 months and guess who's coming! I can't back out either because I'm the president... basically, how do I handle him? I don't want to tell our friends what happened between us but I also don't want them to keep letting him over when I'm with them. He's not doing anything to me directly but I don't know how to deal with him being around all the time.
TL;DR: | A friend from a school club kind of assaulted me and is now around me all the time. He isn't doing anything wrong but I feel like he might. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Need help with talking to someone I haven't seen in 9 years.
POST: I have started college and I was fine taking the bus every morning so I could have time for myself to help me get into a good mindset for the day (I have an anxiety disorder so I have to get myself ready for being in social situations). My family have now arranged for me to be driven everyday by my cousin who always goes to the same college. We're both the same age but I haven't seen him since we were around 10 and now we're 19. I have no Idea what to talk to him about everyday for the next 2-4 years, any advice?
TL;DR: | I haven't seen my cousin in a long time and now I'm going to see him everyday and I don't know how to make conversation with him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [18M] keep telling my girlfriend [17F] things I shouldn't when I'm drunk...
POST: I've been dating my girlfriend for 4 months now and it's seriously amazing, I absolutely love every second of it and I already like this girl more than my previous 10 month relationship ex-girlfriend. I'm going off to college next year and she has to finish her senior year in college. This girl is heads over heels for me (as I am for her) and she wants to continue long distance next year. I'm not saying I wouldn't do long distance cause I'm strongly considering it, something I though I'd never consider.
When I'm drunk with her she gets really concerned about "the future" (i.e. whats gonna happen between use). Up until a few weeks ago she never would have mentioned it drunk, but suddenly it's become the biggest topic she discuss when drunk. I don't mind talking about it but at the same time I'd rather not think about it (we still have at least 5-6 months until I leave for college). If I were to go to college though it'd be in the US (we're currently living in Europe) and I'm not sure how well that'd work out. Anyways to reassure her that I want to be in a long distance relationship I tell her that I will always be here for her. Something I shouldn't do cause I honestly can't predict what's going to happen between us. I don't want to thnink about long distance cause something horrific could happen within the next 5 months that could end our relationship. I tell her to reassure her cause she's been very emotional lately and I'm the one person who comforts her. Even if we don't end up working out I want to be friend swith this girl for a long time. But every time I wake up after a drunk night I think about what I said and how meaningful/true it can be.
TL;DR: | I constantly tell my girlfriend that we will be in a long distance relationship to reassure her when I'm drunk. I don't know how well it's going to work out and every morning after I say it drunk I almost feel guilty... |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Affirm and credit score
POST: ::groan:: another question about Affirm. Sorry everyone, but I searched the sub already and didn't find the answer I was looking for.
If I use Affirm to purchase a Casper mattress, and I stay under the 6 month-no interest limit, will it affect my credit score in any way?
I've heard varying stories that even creating an account with Affirm or any such entity, will make a small dent in one's credit score, but is that just out of principle? Or is it because people typically don't stay within the 0% interest period and end up paying more than they should.
TL;DR: | Want to buy Casper with Affirm, plan to pay it off within 6-month 0% interest period. Still bad for credit score? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (18m) am falling for someone (17f) that lives over 2 hours away, what do I do?
POST: So I'm (18m) a senior in highschool and have known this girl(17f) for about 4 months. I'm on the debate team and we travel different places on weekends to debate. In September of this year we went to a tournament where I met this girl for the first time. We talked for a bit throughout the weekend but it wasn't anything serious. Over the course of the year we have seen each other at a few other tournaments and have went from just being acquaintances to becoming really good friends via Facebook, text and most recently Skype. The more I get to know her, the more I like her. We have so much in common, we're attracted to each other, can talk for hours, etc. She's really everything I want in a girl. Except there is a really big problem, she lives 2 hours away and we rarely get to see each other. If she lived nearby I wouldn't hesitate for a second to start dating, but the whole distance gap puts me in a pickle. I don't know how she feels about a long distance relationship and I don't want to bring it up with her because I don't even know how I feel about them/if I would ever want one. So my question for you guys is do any of you know where I should go from here? Or has anyone been in a similar situation? Thanks in advance :)
TL;DR: | I really like this girl who lives 2 hours away and I would rarely see in person. Considering a LDR but don't know if I even want that. What do I do from here? |
SUBREDDIT: r/cats
TITLE: Hi r/cats. My girlfriend and I have a cat who is diabetic and now she isn't eating and barely drinking. Help!
POST: Our cat is a little older then 7 and she is normally very talkative, friendly and just overall cute. She just happens to have diabetes and we are giving her insulin 2 times a day and always have a full bowl of water and food for her. A couple of days ago we began to notice that she is having a hard time walking without staggering and doesn't eat her food and barely drinks her water. We took her to the vet but we can't get a lot of tests done on her because we are broke college students and the visit itself put us back more then we hoped and they don't have any form of payment plans to assist in the rehabilitation of our cat. They gave her fluids and anti-nausea medicine but she is still in as rough shape as she was before and were afraid she might die. We really don't know what to do =[. Have any of you experienced anything like this before? The vet said if she hasn't gotten any better to give her antibiotics starting tomorrow. I really don't know what to do here. Please if you have any information about what might be going on tell us. She is fully awake and looks like she is aware of everything just her body is going to shit on her.
TL;DR: | Cat has diabetes and now isn't eating and barely drinking and body is having a hard time walking or doing anything. Can't run expensive tests because we have little money. Help!!! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: A [18 F] really likes me [18 M] but I'm interested in her friend [18 F]
POST: There's this girl [A] who I was friends with way back and we ended up going to the same college. Long story short, she ended up liking me and we hung out once. She brought her friend [B] who is also her roommate. Through various friends, I found out that A really likes me.
I don't like A but I was really interested in her friend, Girl B. B is really shy around me but pretty fun when she's with her friends. I don't really know B very well but have been trying to use my friendship with A to get closer with B.
I don't know what to do about A. She is my friend so I don't want to hurt her but I don't want to lead her on either. I also want to get to know B better but since A and B are very good friends, would I even have a chance?
TL;DR: | A girl likes me but I like her friend. How do I let A down easy and do I even have a chance with her friend? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I'm uninsured and I need some health advice: my heart rate has been soaring lately
POST: I'm 23/female/5'5"/~125 lbs. Non-smoker. I've always been in pretty good shape and up until college I was a ballet dancer and very active. I slowed down in college but still tried to exercise when I could and didn't gain much weight (maybe about 10 lbs altogether).
Since my new apartment building has a free gym, I've been working out every night for the past month, but I've encountered a problem: my heart rate has been off the charts.
I've been using a treadmill with a heart monitor and it gives my resting heart rate at about 90. If I bring myself to a quick walk, it shoots up to about 150-180. If I try to run, it will be in the 230-level. I can only keep it up for about 3 minutes before I feel dizzy and completely winded.
I thought maybe it was just a dysfunctional treadmill so I tried another one of a different brand and got the same results.
I'm out of shape, but I don't think I'm THAT out of shape. Could this be indicative of a bigger problem, or should I just work out more, taking it slow?
I won't get insured until January because of my job situation and the way my insurance works (it's kind of complicated), so I'd really like to avoid seeing a doctor until then, but if I have to, I will.
TL;DR: | My heart rate jumps up to the 200-level when I run. I don't know if it's because I'm horribly out of shape or if it's because there's something medically wrong. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My ex gf's (F/31) step-dad (M/60-ish) wants to have lunch with me (M/30). Should I go? (X-post from /r/depression)
POST: My ex and I were together almost 6 years. I was very close with her family. We broke up in April and I haven't talked to any of them since.
Just got a text from her today saying her step-dad has been asking about me for a while. He called me today and I ignored the call (I was in a meeting at work, not to be a dick). His voicemail was asking me to lunch on Saturday.
Long story short, I've been battling depression for a long time (approx 16 years), and it's really peaked since the separation. Hearing his voicemail nearly brought me to tears.
I'm not sure if I'm mentally, physically, and emotionally prepared for this. I don't understand what he intends to get out of it.
I have a blog that's got some more details about my situation, depression, and attempt at recovery, but can't post the link here. If more backstory is needed, I can provide. (or see x-post)
TL;DR: | Ex GF's step-dad wants to be friends 8 months after nasty breakup. Should I suck it up and just go? Or do I have a reason to suspect ulterior motives? Why? |
SUBREDDIT: r/cats
TITLE: Help - My Little Cockroach Hunter
POST: I live in an area where disgusting huge cockroaches are ubiquitous, and they tend to migrate inside once it starts to get cooler out: meaning we're starting to see them around the apartment on occasion. My cat is amazing at catching and killing them, which both of he and I **love**. HOWEVER. He does most of his roach murder at night and has the horrible habit of bringing them into the bed with me to finish them off, usually when they are still capable of moving around.
Obviously it is terrifying and awful to wake up with a mutilated cockroach in bed with you so I was wondering - does anyone else have this problem? I love that he has fun hunting them and that it means they're no longer crawling around my apartment but I'd love it more if I didn't have to jump out of bed, smash it (ruining his fun) and then try to go back to sleep paranoid that I can feel its little legs on me.
I know it's natural for him to do this - he brings his toys to me in bed all the time. But is there some way to discourage him from bringing the roaches in bed?
TL;DR: | My cat brings half dead roaches in bed in the middle of the night and I wish he would just kill the roaches on the floor or anywhere else. Is there some way to get him to stop bringing them in bed? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Just really want my friend back.
POST: Throwaway
I (M, recently 21) and my former significant other (F, 19) were dating for about two and a half years, with about 9 months ldr in the mix, but only 90 miles away so we saw each other frequently on weekends because of college. We currently go to the same school and she just broke up with me at the beginning of the week because she "likes" another guy on her floor. I'm a little bit of a mess but let me paint a timeline for you.
Sunday: Breaks up, gives me some of my stuff and says we can still be friends and talk at any time.
Monday: Don't really talk that much.
Tuesday: Says she's "being needy" which just usually meant she wanted to talk to me so we text pretty much all day and I think things are going okay. Try to talk to her at night but she doesn't respond.
Wednesday: Tells me to "Give her space" in the morning and doesn't want me to talk to her. I try to talk to her later that night but she says that if I talk to her "it will just make things a million times more complicated"
Thursday: After the previous night, I thought it would be wise to drink from 8 am till about 2 and go about my day as I otherwise would, only smashed. Saw the guy she "likes" and he was about as happy as a pig in shit which made me feel like a fucking wreck.
Her friends refuse to acknowledge my existence when I see them around, and I haven't seen her since Sunday. If she's fucking the guy I believe I have at least a right to know so I can begin to move on and not have delusions of hopefully repairing this. I mean I do want to get back with her, but in all likelihood that's out of the question.
OH kicker, she got drunk and decided she liked this guy from alcohol that I bought her with my recent age while I was on my 21 run, so that made me feel grand too.
TL;DR: | Want to talk to ex, she gives mixed signals and refuses, might be fucking another guy, but I'd still like to have some kind of relationship with her, friend or more. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19M] with my girlfriend [19F] of 8 months, am I being rational in my concern of her male friend?
POST: I'm in a long distance relationship with my girlfriend of 8 months, we are both 19 and are from the same highschool/town. She goes to college on the east coast and I'm on the west coast. I've visited her multiple times at her college and stayed in her dorm with her every time I went to go visit her...sex ensued..frequently
She has a male friend who is also from the same town as us, and they've been best friends since childhood, first dance, first kiss, first relationship and all that fun stuff. They've had a weird relationship dynamic while they've been friends as they were friends with benefits a little before I started dating her, but once I started dating her, he called her a slut in a demeaning way but they're still good friends? (she tends to let it go, saying he didn't really mean it and we have a mutual understanding of eachother, that things like that happen but we don't necessarliy mean it and we move on...even though they compleltely fail at communicating about those issues, they just ignore that it ever happened at move on..so they're good now)...needless to say I'm not a fan of him and have a hard time respecting their friendship as a real one.
Well, she is hosting this friend to come visit her at her college and staying in her dorm, and that idea makes me uncomfortable just because of the past they have had, and her friend and I know each-other but unsurprisingly don't get along. They just seem super comfortable with each-other and I don't think they would act the same if I were in the room...I don't necessarily think they'd have sex, but I just don't think they'd act the same if I were there.
I'm not coming to you necessarily wondering how I approach this topic with my SO, as we communicate superbly well, and I have no reservations bringing it up, although your perspectives on that are appreciated, I am more concerned with whether or not I am being rational in me feeling uncomfortable about him coming to visit her and staying in her dorm.
TL;DR: | My Girlfriend's male friend who she had an fwb relationship with is going to visit her at her college and stay in her dorm, am I rational in feeling uncomfortable about this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I think my girlfriend was sexually assaulted while I was away... how do I ask?
POST: Background: I've been away the past several weeks for job training. Noticed my girlfriend started acting a bit distant and depressed during the last two - three days I was away. I finally got home yesterday morning and I jumped on my iPad for the first time since I left today and hopped on Facebook. Saw a new message and when I checked it I realized my girlfriend was logged in on Facebook and what I was seeing was a message to her. It was one of her friends replying to a message about how she was "recovering from my ~wounds~ from last night [...] I'm freaking out, I know it's probably just cheater's guilt, but it's not even cheater's because I was basically mauled [...]"
Now I can't remember off hand who she went out with that night or to what bar, she just turned 21 last week so she's been out a lot the past several nights. We've been together for 3 years and have been close friends for almost 7. We've seen each other through horrible circumstances and I know for a fact she wouldn't willingly cheat on me, and she doesn't drink enough to let herself go (she wound up being designated driver most nights even since turning 21).
I just... I need to know what happened or else my imagination will tear me apart, but I don't know how to ask her. Do I just explain the situation (how I found out) and ask her outright when she gets home tonight? She's been back to her normal herself (mostly) since I've come home so I don't think she'll come out and tell me by herself any time soon. She has been in abusive situations before and always drove them down without reaching out for help. I don't want to see her hold this in, but I also don't want to be seen as intrusive or accusing.
TL;DR: | I think somebody tried to force themselves on my girlfriend at the bar while I was training 60 miles away and I don't know how to ask. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Pets
TITLE: New pet owner: am I underfeeding my Bengal?
POST: I'm a new pet owner, I ended up with the beautiful 4 year old Bengal cat because her former owner was inconvenienced by her I guess. He was planning to just drop her off at a shelter and, since I have a big apartment, love animals, and spend a lot of time at home, I decided to take her in.
The former owner would just free feed purina dry food, but I was told that this method of feeding was unhealthy, as were wheat-heavy dry foods. After much research, I found some brands I read were much better.
I wanted to figure out how much to feed her, so I looked up the standard weight for a female bengal (8-10 pounds). My girl is 14, down from 14.5 a few weeks ago when I started the transition to her new diet. She's large in size by build, but does have a bit of a distended stomach and based on [charts like this] she is definitely a bit overweight.
Anyhow, over a few weeks I shifted her diet to what it is now: 1/3 cup of [Blue Wilderness Chicken Recipe] in the morning around 8am and one can of [Tiki Cat Brand Cat Food] usually one of their tuna-based meals, around 6:30pm.
She was ok with this amount for a few days after I transitioned her down, but the last few she's constantly begging for food. I don't want to reward her for begging or give in if she's better off on this diet, but of course I am worried that I am underfeeding her. I asked her former owner and he said he'd just taken her to the vet before I adopted her and that "every vet has a different opinion, she's fine with the free feeding and dry food" so I don't know if it's worth it to go to the vet just to ask for feeding amounts.. anyway, any advice would very much be appreciated! Sorry for the ridiculously long post...
TL;DR: | Feeding 1/3 cup Blue Wilderness, 1 can Tiki cat food, is this starving my pudgy bengal? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: Tifu by making all of my coworkers think I'm gay and setting up a blind date
POST: So this happened literally 20 minutes ago. I type this while I'm on my break. Anyways, I'm a cook at McDonald's and my friend works the cash register. One of the other cooks (a guy) tried to walk past me and ended up touching my butt. I thought it was another cook and jokingly said "don't touch my butt". The one that actually did it confessed and before thinking, I immediately replied with "oh it's okay then" in a serious tone. He gave me a dirty look and the other cook asked if I was gay. My friend on the cash register overheard it and decided it'd be funny to play along and say "has he not told you guys yet??" Well the manager (who actually is gay and is only a few years older than me) overheard THAT and starts talking to me about how he has a single friend that's been lonely. Me being the nice guy I am couldn't tell him the truth and before I know it, he tells me his friend is coming in tomorrow and he'll give me a break when his friend gets there. I still don't know what to do.
TL;DR: | Coworker touched my butt, I accidentally say "it's okay for you" in a serious tone. Manager thinks I'm gay and sets me up with his lonely gay friend. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [22F] am confused about relationship with [27M]
POST: And so, I am seeking the collective wisdom of Reddit to give me advice.
A little backstory:
We met in April, when I was in my last semester of undergrad and he was an unemployed law school graduate. At the time, I knew that I would be leaving to start grad school in a few months, so we did not have plans for a long term relationship. However, we got along very well and met several times through the summer. We came to like each other a lot and have been able to talk about and do many things together. When I went to school, we kept up communication and have seen each other a few times. He has come to visit me at school once and I have seen him over my breaks when I return home. Most recently, we met after Thanksgiving.
Now the problem starts:
We texted often until 2 weeks ago, when I stopped hearing from him. I wondered what was wrong and was worried about him, until I heard back from him 1 week ago over chat. He told me that his phone broke and that he has been very busy with work and studying for the bar exam. However, he couldn't wait to meet me in a few days.
I went to visit him on Sunday, but when I got to his apartment he wasn't home. I didn't hear from him again until Monday morning, when he apologized for what happened and said that he hasn't been checking his email. He asked if we could meet this Wed or Thurs, but since then, I have not heard back from him. I sent him a few offline chat messages, two emails the day before yesterday, and one email yesterday.
I am confused as to why he has not responded at all. I can understand him being busy and stressed, and it is okay if he is too busy to meet. However, it should only take a minute to respond to one email so that I know what is going on?
TL;DR: | Have been seeing each other for 8 months. We planned on meeting this week, but I haven't heard back from him for several days. I wonder why? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What bizarre encounter have you had in the Great Outdoors?
POST: A couple of years ago, I was doing my cool down bike ride after jogging a few miles. It was around midnight in a small neighborhood. I usually bike at full speed to help my legs not get cramped up. I was about 2 miles into my ride when I turn a corner. WHAAAMMM! I'm hit in the chest by something. I look behind me but I don't see much of anything with only street lights lighting my way. The next day I go for a job before work along the same route. As I get to the spot where I think I was hit, I see a bat. Very dead. It hit me so hard that it broke its neck but just took my breadth away.
TL;DR: | While biking in the middle of the night, I was struck by a bat. Later found out it died from the hit. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Father was scammed in real life, I need some guidance on what to do and how to approach it.
POST: Hey redditor's (first post),
I've learned that my father was tricked by two men into thinking he won the lottery and got him to withdraw all of his money and have it stolen from him by two men. My father immigrated here when I was born so his english and education aren't the highest. My father is a nice man which is why I feel bad that this happened, I myself don't won't this to be swept under the rug.
The men who did this were going to drive to Maryland if my Father had stayed in the car and not leave to go into Giant. We have filed a police report and have the case number, but I feel that he may never see the money again, and with me going into College I don't want to drop too much of a financial burden on him. He had around 12,000 stolen from him.
Please any advice would be great.
TL;DR: | My father was tricked into thinking he won the lottery but instead lost all of his money, what can/he do to help this terrible incident be resolved asap. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19 F] with my 21 [M] guy I am seeing, having to cancel a trip to visit my 24 [M] ex.
POST: I broke up with my ex-bf over four months ago. We decided to continue talking instead of going no contact. I needed to go to his state in order to get my passport taken, so we planned a trip of a couple of weeks where I would go visit him and he would also help me and drive me to my appointment (there was also no set date for the appointment so I couldn't just go there for a week). I would also get to see my step sister for a day which I don't know if I'll be able to see her again. However, recently I've started seeing a guy. I met him some time later after I had already planned the trip to go to my ex's, and we have only been going out for a couple of dates. I was still planning to go since the trip was already set for some time and I had only been seeing this guy for a bit but I told my ex and he told me it was best if I didn't go. That it wouldn't be fair to the guy I am seeing. He said he still had feelings for me and he would always do. However I also don't like the idea that I am missing out of a fun trip, seeing my sister and getting my passport for the sake of a guy that I just met. I do really like the guy so far though, had he not been my ex bf and just a friend I would probably still go, but I am just confused. I feel like a jerk, but at the same time I don't like the idea of missing out on stuff for the sake of a guy (which I've done before and sort of regret). What would be the best thing to do ?
TL;DR: | Planned to visit my ex-bf whom I view as a friend, started dating a guy, ex-bf said to cancel the trip. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [30F] scared of my SO and would like him [28M] to move out, but unsure how to proceed
POST: Here's the problem: I'm afraid of my SO.
I'm not terribly worried about my apartment: I'm the only one on the lease and I pay the rent (in its entirety). Also the one who pays the utilities. His mail is sent here, but that's pretty much as far as it goes in the way of proof of residence.
I'm scared because he has threatened to take my cat in the event I should cheat or hurt him in any way (the vagueness of this threat is what frightens me). I don't really want to go into other things he's said or done- what matters is that I want him to go and to not injure the things that matter most to me (or hold them hostage).
Can someone/ anyone give me some advice on how to break up/ get him to move out without him hurting me/ my cat/ my precious objects? I just..... I feel too embarrassed to talk to my friends, and too scared of my SO to relax in my own home. Is there any way to seek police/ outside help?
Thanks all. Throwaway for obvious throwaway reasons.
TL;DR: | SO has made threats. I want to him to move out, but need advice on the best way to do so. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by handwriting a paper.
POST: As with most TIFUs, this did not happen today. It's been a little over 3 years, I believe.
The final project for my theatre class was a 20 page paper based on 30 questions the teacher had posed. Many of the questions were about ourselves, and were phrased in such a way that we could answer as personally (or impersonally) as we felt comfortable with. I decided to be pretty damn personal with my answers.
Well, I had it finished and my computer crashed before I got around to printing it. So I rewrote as much of it as I could remember by hand, in a notebook. I typed it up the next day, handed it in, and got an A. All was well (for now).
Fast forward 2 months to a Monday in early June. I am back home with my parents for the summer and have just woken up. I go into the living room and my parents suggest we go for a drive. Okay, whatever.
Well...my extremely conservative parents had found the notebook. My mom thought it was one of hers, opened it, and discovered a multitude of previously unknown facts about her daughter. These facts included my sexual orientation and religious affiliation; turns out their daughter was not a straight Christian but in fact a bisexual agnostic who was not only dating, but in love with, another girl.
Our "meeting" lasted about an hour and only ended after I started having a panic attack. Parents ended up deep in denial.
TL;DR: | hand-wrote some pretty personal answers to the questions for a final project in a notebook. Conservative parents found them and surprise, their straight Christian daughter isn't so straight or Christian after all. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, what's the worst injury you've ever had?
POST: Tell me how you got those battle scars. I'll start.
I completely snapped both my ulna and radius in my forearm in early January. I was snowboarding with a friend in Whistler, B.C., Canada. The terrain park there is pretty huge and I decided to try to clear a rather large jump. It was at least 1-2 metres high and had a 3-4 metre gap between take-off and landing, so I knew I had to get lots of speed. I proceeded to bomb down the hill at close to 50 km/h (about 30 mph) and was gaining speed up until take-off. Only once I was in the air did I realize that things were not going my way. Instead of landing safely 3 metres away on the slope, I flew a devastating 8 metres and landed with all my weight on my right arm. I heard a unnatural crunch, lifted my sleeve, and found my forearm bend to a 60 degree angle. I should mention that about 30 people watched my ordeal from the chairlift above. I did not cry.
Since we were at the top of the mountain, my friend and I slowly slid the rest of the way down to the village at the base. Flash forward 10 days, and I was having surgery to put in a metal plate and 4 screws to stabilize my broken bones so they would heal. I'll have the plate for the rest of my days. Same with the wicked scar. Needless to say, it was a spectacular crash and I'll always have a spectacular story to tell when people ask about the pink gash that dominates my inner forearm.
TL;DR: | Went snowboarding. Overflew a large jump by 5 metres and crashed with 40 ppl watching. Snapped both bones in my forearm. Didn't cry. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Ex(22f) owes me (22m) $2000.
POST: Over a year ago, my (now ex) gf and I went on a vacation out of country. We had a great time, but when it came time to return to the states, in early August, we had travel issues.
Before leaving, her and my friends decided that using buddy passes was the best option. It was considerably cheaper. I flew on my father's family pass. Getting there was no problem. However, the flights back only allowed for my ticket priority to fly. So, I left and awaited my ex and three friends in the states.
She was a horrible wreck for my friends to have to deal with. She continually cried because she was worried about not making it back to school on time. School was over a week away.
Everyone ended up purchasing full tickets. The two of my friends, who were helping my ex (Mike and Alan), decided to buy tickets through Iceland. They were ~$1000. Because my ex couldn't stomach waiting another day, she decided to buy one ticket through Paris at a little over $2000.
Unfortunately, her credit card did not work. So, Mike (being the great guy that he is) bought it for her and they all went on their way. About a week after arriving home, a week and two days since my return, I agreed to pay Mike with the stipulation that she pay me back. I told her it did not have to be soon (damning words). I paid him, in check, shortly after.
Three months later, we "amicably" ended our 7 seven year relationship. Up until a few months ago, I kept in fairly good contact with her. I mentioned twice, in the last year, that I really need the money for my Masters year and that I hoped she could send me her excess scholarship money. She agreed and said she could send some of it, but never did.
I'm unsure of where to go from here. I was close to some of her family and still go to lunch with her younger cousin infrequently. I don't want to turn this into a legal battle and I really need the money in the coming year.
I'm not sure if I even have any legal ground here or how to handle the situation.
TL;DR: | Ex owes me $2000 for her plane ticket which my buddy purchased and I reimbursed him for. Asked a few times in the last year, but have gotten no action. |
SUBREDDIT: r/needadvice
TITLE: Stuck in a university mess... what should I do?
POST: So I went into university to get a degree in this specialized business program (how it works is, if you get a high enough grade in Grade 12, you get a pre-admission into it, and as long as you maintain a 3.7 GPA in first two years, you get in). It's a two-year long compressed program that allows you to study whatever you want in first two years, and as long as you get the grades, lets you in third year. Well, I went through a bit of a depression this semester, and my cumulative GPA looks to end up being around 3.4, so I won't get in.
Where should I go from here? My end goal was always to get a degree in this specialized business program, get 2-3 years work experience, then get an MBA. I can either:
* finish my major in psychology (2 more years), then attempt to get relevant work experience (this would be difficult) that would allow me to aim for an MBA
* try transferring to a normal business program of this university that isn't prestigious at all, but at least it would lead me to get relevant work experience for that MBA (but this would require me to stay 1-2 more years)
* try again to get into that specialized business program at the end of next year (in this case they would take the cumulative GPA of this year and next year, but as I messed this year up, I would need a 4.0 GPA next year- as optimistic as I want to be, that would be very difficult)
Another perk for the last two choices would be that I would be graduating with two degrees- one in business and one in psychology.
I am so goddamn lost here, and honestly writing this up makes me depressed, reminding myself of the shitty situation that I've put myself in. What the hell should I do?
TL;DR: | want to eventually get an MBA, don't know whether to graduate with a psych degree in 4 years or go for a business degree that would help me land jobs relevant for MBA that would make me study a year or two more |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My[37F] SIL [30's F] with my brother [35 M] married 1 yr, She thinks my mom [65F] is being vindictive.
POST: My mom invited my SIL (we'll call her Betty) and my brother (Dave) along with my family over for dinner for Christmas Eve. She had the meal planned out around a month in advance and then found out the day before that Betty was allergic to part of it. Dave talked with my mom and he said he would bring something for Betty to eat instead.
When Dave came over last night, Betty wasn't with him. He had gotten into an argument with Betty. She was saying that my mom was doing this on purpose and that we all knew she had this allergy for almost 2 years. Totally not true. Dave told her she was wrong, and Betty got pissed that Dave didn't back her up.
Anyway, basically it put a damper on the entire evening with Dave and my mom being upset. This is not the first time Betty has done something like this. It seems like every time she and Dave have plans to come over she gets into an argument with him to get out of spending time with our whole family. My parents have been nothing but wonderful to her and it is really upsetting that she would do this.
What can I do to support my mom and brother in this? I obviously don't want to butt into Dave and Betty's personal life, but this hurts both my mom and Dave. I feel like Betty is trying to isolate Dave from our family. My dad, silent until last night, now wants nothing to do with Betty. Is there anything I can do? I hate seeing both Dave and my mom like this.
TL;DR: | My SIL is trying to trying to make my brother choose between our family and her. Is there anything I can do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My boyfriend [28M] is cheating on me [24M] with his roommate [30M]
POST: I just found out my boyfriend [28,M] is cheating on me [24,M] with his new boyfriend for 5 months [30,M] . He told me they were just friends. He got a new job a few months ago and had to move to another city , he lived with this guy for months now , everytime i visited them the other guy acts weird i asked my ex boyfriend about it and he said it's nothing and im just jealous, . When I confronted him he insisted there was nothing, I found their chats and it was full of "i love you " among other things . I confronted him again and he said i had no right to go through his phone, i took my stuff and got out , i just got home.The confrontation happened 5 hours ago , im still shacking and sweating
TL;DR: | my boyfriend [28M] for 5 years is cheating on me [24M] with his roommate [30M] for 5 months |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25 M] seeing a [25F] for a bit over a month. We had a few drinks last Saturday and she's clearly becoming too attached. What do?
POST: I've been seeing this girl for a bit. I have explained to her that I'm not the type to get attached. I go out of my way to show behaviors that we're just casually dating and I'm fairly certain she believes I'm sleeping with other people as well. She seems to understand I'm not interested in delving deeper down the rabbit hole.
The problem: Recently she made it fairly clear she is becoming attached. We had a few drinks and talked about stuff. She told me she's seeing no one else, tried to convince me I'm becoming attached, "my door is always unlocked", leaving hickeys on me, etc.
She seems entirely competent to make up her own mind. Truth be told, I'm far more neurotic than she is. The thing is that I'm feeling like an ass in continuing what we have because she is very clearly looking for something I am not. Am I in the clear If I articulate what exactly I'm looking for and she decides to still spend time with me despite her developing feelings? She's an incredibly sweet person, level headed, and I feel almost obligated to cut it off because of the fact that this is eventually going to lead to her becoming far more attached that she should be(if she isn't there already).
TL;DR: | Seeing someone for a little over a month. She is growing attached. I cannot be anything more than what I am to her right now. Am I being cruel by still seeing her despite not having our goals align? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (21/f) was considering dating a long time friend (21/m) but his OKC profile is a complete farce.
POST: Title is the whole explanation really.
My friend and I have been friends for 5+ years. We always had a crush on each other but timing wasn't right. We're both single and have been. We reconnected on Facebook and saw each other out at some bars a few times. He asked if I'd consider going on a date with him so I did. It was fun. He asked me where I thought this was headed and if we could start dating a little more seriously. He told me he had a OKCupid profile and that he would take it down if we wanted to continue to go on dates. Honestly, I did consider it and thought that was sweet he offered so soon.
Out of curiosity, I looked at it and it's completely..wrong. His pictures look absolutely nothing like him. Granted, they are very done up. He took them at some studio that his friends own and I know people always choose their best photo but it's very misleading of his actual appearance. That aside, he also lied in his profile about his height, his ethnicity (weird, right?), what he's going for in school, his job, and his personality profile seems very unlike him. All in all it's just lies.
I'm considering if I'm overreacting. Does everyone do this and it's just typical? I think it's really kind of rude and a waste of women's time that his profile is so far off. I don't know if this should be a deal breaker. I don't like it.
TL;DR: | My friend of 5+ years took me out on a date and asked to casually date to see how we match up. However, I found his OKC profile and it's very misleading. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: I need advice-the issue of who pays in the beginning stages of relationship
POST: I know when it comes to dating, there are no set rules and everyone works differently. Still, I was wondering about the etiquette of paying during those first 10 or so dates.
I (23F) have been seeing this guy (23M) for about 2 months now. I think he paid for us the first 2 dates, and then after that has been letting me pay my share of the bill each time. Now, I don't think that the guy has to ALWAYS pick up the tab, BUT I am a little put off by the fact that he has been accepting my money each time we have gone out since. Am I being unfair here?
I'm curious how the reddit community deals with the issue of paying.
TL;DR: | My date has been letting me (female) pay my share of the bill every time we go out. Is this normal? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Why is it okay for my SO to comment on pics of naked girls to tell them they're hot, but it's not okay for me to post pics that are only mildly revealing?
POST: My boyfriend (24, been together about a year) likes to browse on [/r/gonewild](/r/gonewild) a lot. I'm not exceptionally insecure, but he also likes to comment on how hot the girls are, how he's bookmarking their pics for "later" and how much he loves [x] feature, oftentimes being one I do not have. Needless to say, seeing him telling girls their pics are "the sexiest thing he's ever seen" is a definite shot to my confidence.
I (26) posted a mildly revealing pic of myself as a comment, (which was big for me on account of how self-conscious I am) and he got upset with me, saying I was trying to pick up guys on the internet, and that only loser perverts try to talk to the girls that post those kind of pics online, and that he didn't want people having pics of me that might be provocative. Then demanded I give him the username of every guy that pmed me because of the picture (which ended up only being two anyway).
I'm also bi, and I guess he interprets that as a free pass to constantly talk about other girls, "because I like girls too, so it shouldn't be an issue." He's not a bad person by any means otherwise. He's incredibly sweet to me, and I know he loves me, this is just one little thing that picks at my insecurities the most. Is there a way I could explain to him why this upsets me without sounding terribly pathetic?
TL;DR: | Looking for a way to explain to my possessive boyfriend (24) why I (26/bi) get upset when he blatantly hits on other girls. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [20/F] Getting Mixed Signals from [21/M] Advice?
POST: Let's preface this a bit: So I'm pretty inexperienced with guys :c The other guys that have approached me were pretty straightforward so I don't really know what to think of these little occurrences, I'd really like a second opinion! Thanks!
>Alright so this guy that I find pretty attractive drove me home the other night after a party and then me, him and another girl that he's close friends with went to hang out in one of my roommate's rooms (the roommate was gone for the weekend and they're close friends so they were just going to stay in his room)
>So the girl was sitting on the couch on her phone and guy was on the bed and it was pretty late so I figured my drunk ass should just go to bed in my room, but the two tell me to stay and so I do and the guy I'm attracted to tells me to lay down and he kinda pulls my arm and I fall right next to him. As this happened his arm wrapped around me so we were basically cuddling and I instinctively scooted closer and we kinda laid there like that for a good 30 seconds. After that he rolled onto his back (me still laying on one arm) and we started chatting and it was cool and I wasn't trying to hook up or anything, but I enjoyed hanging out like that and getting to know him a little more. So we kept talking until I referred to the girl that was still in the room, but then we both realized that she wasn't even there anymore and I was like what and he kinda freaked out and ran out the room saying something about seeing who was out there (As if anyone was awake at 4am). A while later the girl comes back and she lays in the bed on her phone so I just kinda get on my phone to wait for the guy but he's just like gone so I decide to just go to bed.
>Maybe 10 minutes later I come back out to get some water and hear the guy back in the room with the door closed. So I kinda feel like he was trying to avoid me? I'm so confused.
TL;DR: | he initiated brief cuddling while other friend was in the room, we started talking while still laying down, realized other friend left, he seemed to freak out a little and left, never came back, i left and he reappeared |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [19 M] am considering breaking up with my girlfriend [19 M/F] of two years; she has many insecurity and confidence issues
POST: I'm in my second year of college and have been dating the same girl since senior year of high school. When we started dating, she was a goody-two-shoes, pure-as-the-driven-snow girl. Two years later and I can say I've changed in college quite a bit, but I feel like she's stayed the same. This has mostly manifested itself in the form of confidence issues, not being able to stand up for herself or her own decisions, and many insecurity issues. She has put on a little weight and she can't even bear for me to look at her naked without the lights off.
Do you have any advice on how to mend things? Do you recommend I respectfully end the relationshihp? Any help would be appreciated, reddit!
TL;DR: | Girlfriend has confidence and insecurity issues, what can I do to fix the relationship? Should I get out of it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [21 M] had to stop my girlfriend [21 F] from attempting to kill herself.
POST: I asked my girlfriend who she was texting and she got very defensive and said it was just a coworker. I let it go at first but I couldn't stop thinking about how she reacted, so I asked to see her phone. She demanded to see mine too so I showed her mine then she didn't hold up her end. A fight ensued and she tried everything possible to not show me. I finally got her too and it was a guy and all i saw was him saying "i miss you lets meet up" and her saying i miss you too and planning a time.
I then stopped reading and said i want to break up. She swears she didn't cheat and didn't plan to and tried grabbing every knife in the house. I spent the next two hours trying to stop her as she begged me not to leave her. Some more details - we've been together for a year and live together.. Please help. What should I do?
TL;DR: | I found my girlfriend texting another guy saying "i miss you." I told her I wanted to break up, she then threatened to kill her self and swears she didn't cheat. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [30/m] with my ex[24/f] of 4 months, break up in a small town that we will see each other repeatedly. How to socialize in this situation?
POST: I had gf for a short time. Early in the relationship she told me that an ex was visiting and he would be staying with her.
I protested and the situation changed to him staying with her friend.
We live in a foreign country that is very far away. Cancelling the trip was out of the question and she wanted to speak to him to clear up some things. It was a bad break up. Apparently she was supposed to go to his wedding that was called off and they ended up making their friendship into a fling/relationship while she visited from a different country. This ended when the guy ended up getting back together with his fiance not long after she left. However, the marriage/relationship didn't work out. Strange, no?
Big red flag. To make a long story short - I found out through a wall post on facebook that the guy and her were hanging out well past 3AM together. This was a huge flag and signaled the end of the relationship. There were other things but this was major. Some lite lying and not being as considerate as I would like a GF to be in general.
I ended the relationship soon after.
However, I live in a very small foreigner community. I've noticed that all of her friends have been extremely cold to me. In addition, others that have moved to this area have at first been kind to me then very cold. I've found that those being cold to me have heard some variation of a rumor that I wasn't a great guy and I broke up with her in a harsh way or something.
How do I go about having a social life when I'm being outcast in such a way?
I will no doubt see my ex again. I'm not a social butterfly but I do like to have friends and socialize.
TL;DR: | Break up in a small community makes me into an outcast. How do I go about socializing in this situation? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Friends with benefit [19 M] finally admits his feelings to me [19 F] and haven't talked since
POST: Alright this is my first time posting something in this subreddit, so I apologize if I formatted wrong or anything like that.
So, I am a 19 year old college student and I'm in my second year of school. Well, I met this guy last year and we hit it off pretty well.
Since the beginning of this school year, we've been hooking up casually, like a friends with benefits type of thing. However, I developed a bit of crush on him. Well, the day before Veteran's Day he invited me over to his place to pregame his fraternity party. He also told me he had something to tell me, and that it would be better to hear it in person. So I went over, and he told me that he kind of liked me more than just a friend. Naturally, I told him I did too and then we had sex.
This is where things get weird. I haven't talked to him at all really since that night. We've hooked up twice after that night but we were both drunk so not much talking happened. Ever since he told me that he liked me, he hasn't texted me and I haven't texted him either. So I don't know what to do! How do I go about this? Does he like me still? What do I do?
TL;DR: | Hooked up casually with a guy, tells me he likes me, haven't really talked since he's told me that |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: boyfriend said this yesterday, am i overreacting?
POST: my boyfriend of two years told me something yesterday that i think i may be overreacting about. we were ending a fight, which we've been doing more often because of many issues that have arisen this year. when he said this, we had already somewhat "made-up," so it wasn't a rebuttal or anything.
a little background: in the beginning of our relationship, i wanted to stay a virgin until i was married. i know it is an "iffy" topic (usually with girls), but sex is really emotional for me. he somehow changed that about me, and i really wanted to share that part of me with him because i thought it was worth it. that was in the beginning of this journey, however. it's been almost two years since we first did anything, and i had been overjoyed with our sex life, but now i don't know if i should be.
yesterday, he told me this: "i love having sex with you, and it really does mean a lot to me. but there is still this part of me that really wants to go out and sow my wild oats with other girls. it would just be meaningless to me, and i know you would never be able to tell, but when i have sex with you it means something."
is he done with me? i am really confused, and it hurt me more than i think he intended...but now i just want to know what i should even do. he told me he loves me, and is even *in* love with me, but he isn't always attracted to me. i just don't know how to react other than completely offended. what does reddit think i should do?
TL;DR: | my boyfriend told me he possibly wants sex with other people but still loves me, yet didn't dump me. what do i do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (F/26) am bothered by a ring in my SO's (M/25) room that is probably his ex-fiance's engagement ring
POST: My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half and he's great, all the usual awesome stuff to say. We are very much in love and have a very close relationship and he's my best friend.
What's bothering me is that there is this ring in his room..or his closet actually. It is a big walk in closet with a big curio cabinet type chest in it. This cabinet has a lock on it and he keeps all of his "important to him" type stuff in it, anything from old sentimental things to his favorite cologne (that he where's every day, so he sees what's in this cabinet every day also). There is a Tiffany's box and ring in this chest that I have noticed since we started dating. He doesn't wear rings so I know it isn't his...he's been known to buy his mom jewelry but I know it isn't hers because it wouldn't just be sitting in there.
He was dating a girl and things ended about 2 years before we started dating. He apparently met her in middle school, they were dating off and on during high school, and he was engaged to her for a while before they broke up. I honestly don't see what the ring could be other than the engagement ring that he got her. I go into the closet to get stuff every day too, pajamas and towels for showering, I pretty much live there as well, so he has to know I see this, right?
I know I need to ask him about this because it is bothering me, but how do I bring it up without making him feel attacked? And, if it is his ex fiance's old engagement ring, why is he still holding on to it? And in the place where he keeps all the things that are sentimental to him? Am I overreacting or is this kind of odd? My last ex (from a few years ago) cheated on me with his ex, whom he was harboring feelings for, so I'm not sure if it's fear of that happening again and I'm reading too much into it or if it really is something he's holding on to.
TL;DR: | boyfriend has his ex fiance's engagement ring (95% sure) still on display, it really bothers me, don't know how to bring it up |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Is there anything I can do to help my friend get over his annoying and off-putting tendencies?
POST: We're both 23, male, and we're close friends. He got married this past summer and then divorced about a month after. The divorce went smoothly, and he's essentially back to where he was before getting married -no financial entanglements or children or anything like that.
Nowadays he's taken to forcing an alpha male persona. Whenever people are playfully talking shit, he always cuts a little too deep. He's always forcing jokes with employees whenever we go out to restaurants and such, and they always just laugh politely. Whenever he ends up driving us anywhere, he tries *way* too hard to act casual the way someone who's actually good at driving would. That one really bugs me, because it actually affects other people directly as opposed to being something everyone just lets go when we're hanging out.
Aside from all that, he's a very reasonable and intelligent person. He's got no reason for any of it. He's a pretty sizable, good-looking guy with a nice beard and nice hair. I imagine it has a lot to do with him being bullied a bit growing up and with the divorce, but I don't know what I can do to help him.
I call out his bullshit in a gentle way sometimes, but he never responds. And despite us being close and my having made it clear that he can/should talk to me (especially after the divorce), he never does. We came close recently when he texted me one night while I was almost asleep in bed, but it was too much for texting and I was too tired to be of use. Made plans to continue talking about it the next day, but when we met up he seemed to be putting on airs as if we hadn't even talked.
TL;DR: | My otherwise smart and reasonable friend has developed some really annoying tendencies. Despite us being close, he doesn't respond to anything and won't open up. What can I do to help him? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, I rescued mice from my laboratory from being euthanized, but one of them was pregnant, and I needed to kill some of the mice pups, am I a bad person now?
POST: I am a tech in a research facility that works with mice. One day, I was told I would need to euthanize 15 mice we did not need anymore, and was immediately uncomfortable with the idea. A few mice here and there that we need to experiments is fine, but when it comes to killing a lot of mice at once, I get sorta queezy. So, instead of "sac'ing" all of them, I took the last cage of four mice home with me.
However, it turns out one of the vet techs mis-sexed one of the mice, and one of them was male and the other three were female. 4 weeks later, I noticed I now had a litter of 7 mice pups in the tiny cage. I immediately identified the male (hadn't checked before this because I assumed the vet techs would get it right--one sex to a cage), and it was the cutest most energetic of the mice. I had to euthanize him so he wouldn't get his sisters preggy again, but it made me really sad. Then, I took the grandmother mouse, the really old one, and killed her too to make room for some of the babies. Then, I took 4 of the 7 baby mice and chopped their heads off (most humane way to kill them) leaving three plus two females, one of them being the mother in the cage.
I feel like shit for doing it, but know it had to be done--setting them free would be more inhumane, and returning them to the lab would get me fired and those mice euthanized anyway. I tried to maximize life and ensure this wouldn't happen again.
But I still killed babies and mice that I really liked, so, did I do the right thing?
TL;DR: | I rescued mice from an animal facility that were going to be euthanized, one of them get pregnant, I had to kill the father and some of the baby pups. Am I an evil baby killer now? |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Hi. I think there is something legally improper going on with Home Depot / Penske truck rental service.
POST: I rented a truck, drove it 4 miles.
I initialed a line accepting that I would be charged "$8 per gallon" if the truck wasn't filled up.
The inspector assessed my usage of the take as 15/16ths because the needle went from the "bottom of the F to the middle of the F".
The system records 15/16ths as the minimum usage, and that it is 2 gallons. So, while customers are agreeing in advance to pay an amount per gallon, no per-gallon-assessment is being made. If it is apparent that the needle has moved at all, the very minimum you can be charged is 2 gallons. Nowhere in the rental agreement is it stated that there is a minimum charge, nor is there any language speaking to any penalty other than simply $8 per gallon.
TL;DR: | Penske/Home Depot get you to agree to a per gallon refill charge but have no way of assessing gallons and compare usage on a 16ths scale, thus systematically extracting extra fees than agreed upon. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What is the most depressing/dehumanizing job you've ever worked?
POST: I can't add too much to the conversation, as I've only worked one job, but fast food is a horrible, horrible way to make money; hear me out.
(A bit of background, I have depression and social anxiety, both of which feed each other in a vicious circle, which ends up with me resenting everyone but my family and few friends.)
Day in and day out, I go to work at derp-fil-a. Imagine going to work to do something you are literally afraid of and that literally makes you want to kill yourself. Every day. At work, I have to smile, and be warm, and engaging to people. I have to get down on my knees in the mud everyday to kiss hundreds of asses. People come up to the register on their phones, and rather tell their sweet baboo to hold on or that they'll call them back, they ignore my existence so that they can shoot the breeze with their boy/girlfriend.
It is entirely too often that people become aggravated with me because when I ask them whether their order is for dine in or carry out or what kind of drink or sauce they want multiple times because they ignore my question. I am constantly treated like a monkey at a typewriter because there's no fucking way that anyone who deserves any amount of respect could possibly work fast food. Only stupid people that don't need respect are allowed to work there.
TL;DR: | You're hated by the very people whose feet you're cleaning. You will always be the one who made a mistake and deserves to be raped if they didn't tell you that they don't ant something that comes standard on the meal |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I need your opinion: my (24m) gf (24f) likes to dance...
POST: I've been dating this girl for about a year and a half now (she's a redditor, thus the throwaway). We've had some problems before where my trust for her was totaled (minor cheating and other stuff) half a year ago, but she's been making HUGE efforts to regain it.
She casually brought up one day how she'll grind with other guys when she goes out with friends, but if they start getting too into it she'll walk away. A) Is it normal for a girl, in a relationship, to do this? B) is it okay, given the context, for her to go out dancing like this?
Genuine question -- I have some insecurities I'm dealing with now, so I'd like to know if I have a legitimate concern or if I'm being jealous/insecure.
TL;DR: | gf did something to break my trust. likes to go out and grind with other dudes still, but will walk away if it gets too inappropriate. okay or not okay? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Im [20/m], considering getting back with ex [20/f], after recent events.
POST: Me and this girl had been dating for almost 3 years it was a long distance relationship that ended very poorly when we came home in the summer do to some communication and priorities issues. We have discussed and both expressed regret over what happened. Fast forward about a month and we meet up before going back to school and ended up kissing.
Again fast forward, and she had expressed an interest in getting back together, I was so scared to get hurt again and panicked and backed out. We had both appeared to move on and began to see other people. When we both returned home for winter break we meet up again and it felt like all of my emotions came flooding back. It also came up that we were seeing other people I felt very jealous. We have spoken a few times now and she has told me that I need to commit 100% before she will do anything, stop seeing current guy tell I commit. Is she just protecting herself? Should I take this leap of faith for her? I think I still love her help me out please....
TL;DR: | Me and ex girlfriend have almost gotten back together once already now wants me to do a leap of faith before she will consider anything/ leave guy shes seeing and i think i love her and want her back |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [45 M] with my GF [34 F] of 6 months - I really, really like her but I want to date other people
POST: There's no way to solve this, but how do you figure this stuff out in your head? I don't dislike my GF at all. The sex is great (although it's cooled off slightly - we've transitioned somewhat out of the can't-keep-our-hands-off-each-other stage), she's intelligent, caring, and engaging. I really like her a lot.
However, I'm recently out of a multi-year relationship that ended a year ago. I jumped into this pretty quick. I meet women that I want to date casually. Then I realize, "oh, wait, I'm with my GF and we're exclusive."
I guess the real problem is how to approach this in my head. I feel like a superficial, petty ass for wanting to date other women. I want to have my cake and eat it too. I don't want to give her up. It's not about her. It's kind of about me.
I do *NOT* want to cheat. That would be the worst thing.
Anyways, pep talk is appreciated. Maybe I will lose this feeling over time.
TL;DR: | Mostly venting, but also looking for some perspective about my desires to date other women (and feeling like a bit of a heel about that) even though I'm in a pretty good relationship right now. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My SO is hanging out with her ex soon, and I'm very uncomfortable with it.
POST: Background: I am 19, my SO is 20. We are both female and have been dating for ~3 months.
My SO wanted to hang out with an ex of hers. I told her I felt very uncomfortable with the idea of them hanging out. Unlike her other ex, whom I have met and can see their friendship is utterly platonic, I am unfamiliar with the dynamic between her and this other ex, and it is unclear whether or not he still has feelings for her.
I trust my SO completely, but I am very insecure about the idea of "sparks rekindling" when you hang out with an ex. The biggest reason for this is that she has told me that they are very, very compatible, and she broke up with him because she did not feel in love with him. She reassured me that there was absolutely nothing at all to be worried about, and she sees him purely as a friend.
I told her that I was still very uncomfortable, but because she assured me so many times, that I should not stand in the way of her maintaining a friendship with him, especially when I am comfortable with her having friendships with other people she's dated. So, she told me she is most likely going to see him in the near future.
I really hate how my imagination runs off at the idea of them hanging out together. I never imagine her cheating on me, but I do imagine the idea of her seeing her ex and realizing that she might be happier with him than she is with me. I hate feeling this insecure, because I know and I feel it everyday that our relationship is stronger than these silly thoughts running through my head.
How can I stop being so insecure about this?
TL;DR: | My SO is hanging out with her ex, and I am really uncomfortable with it. How can I stop being insecure about it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What to say to this strangely clever pizza guy?
POST: So here is the story. I haven't ordered a pizza online in a while, so i go to the Dominos website. While one of my high friends tries to "make her own pizza" she takes the cheese off one side, and the website pops up going "Whoa there!" ect. That makes us laugh. So I want to reciprocate.
Long story short, we are watching the pizza being made on the pizza tracker. It says Jeff is baking your pizza. I think it is funny it tries to get so personal, that it tells you who is making your pizza.
So down in the "Advice,Feedback,Grumblings" spot while Jeff is working diligently, I write "I am WATCHING you, Jeff."
A few minutes later i receive a txt that says, "No, I am watching, YOU."
I wait a few and respond with, "You win this time, Jeff..."
*No response*
Next day i think i will be clever and ask a friend that works at a different Dominos, if he knows a Jeff. He says he does and sends me his *supposed* last name.
Obviously you can see where this is going. My friend was slow and told me the last name of a Jeff that works at his Dominos, even after i told him which store to look for. Here is my conversation with Jeff before i figured out my friend didn't get the whole picture, and sent me the wrong last name.
Me: Your move, Jeff (insert wrong last name)
Jeff: Wrong last name, try again (Insert my full name)
Me: Well played
Jeff: Until next time
TL;DR: | Clever guy at the pizza place has a sense of humor, kinda want to mess with him but have run out of ideas. Help! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: The girl I am seeing [F18] and I [M19] view our relationship differently and I might be making a mistake
POST: I met Cindy two months ago on what was essentially a blind date. We hit things off pretty well and have continued to see each other the past two months. I've been able to learn more about her and enjoy spending lots of time with her. After about a week of seeing each other, she told me she wasn't sure if she wanted to continue seeing me, as she could tell I was an emotional person and would end up getting hurt. I was able to talk her out of it but she gave me a few warnings going forward.
About a week after that, I had chosen to transfer schools to somewhere out of state and will be moving to there in July. We agreed it's best for us just to spend time with one another while we still can, and break it off when the summer arrives.
Well, in this past week she has called me sobbing, talking to me about her ex-boyfriend that I knew she wasn't fully over. Her family has been debating whether or not I'm in the friendzone because apparently she doesn't act as flirtatious around me as she has around other men in her past. And yesterday we were talking more and she told me that she likes being with me, but she isn't head over heels for me, and that if we did break up it wouldn't hurt her for long.
Now, I've invested a lot of time and emotional effort into this relationship. I've gotten attatched too quickly and too easily. Part of me wants to break it off because it seems toxic in a way. I feel I am holding her back from being with someone she truly likes. It's also obvious she's holding back with me - she doesn't want to invest as much into this as I do.
Any advice on where to take this is very much appreciated. I know it's a giant jumble - so thanks for reading.
TL;DR: | Started seeing girl, decided to move in half a year, she isn't investing nearly as much as I am, is it worth continuing? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by coming out...
POST: So, pretty much the title says it, I came out. Everyone may think: "Wow! I really admire you for doing this, this is a huge step!", or: "Please be my Best Gay Friend, and come bra-shopping with me!", but where I live, being gay isn't the most admirable thing in the world.
This is kinda ruining my life, and it concluded by me losing all my friends, being an outcast, staying at home all day, being used to people hanging up on me when I ask them if they want to hang out, and I can't find ONE good friend here, that can understand me without judging me. Most of the girls here are ratchets (If you'd ask me from 1-10, I'd say 10, MILLION), so I can't find something in common with them. Most of the guys here have the Bad Boy image, smoking and drinking, getting stoned and all. I don't know what to do, than to stay at home, gaining so much weight (I have an eating disorder, so I eat when I'm bored, so it has it outcomes) and crying most of the time. My summer is really sad, I barely left the house and I don't know what to do with my life.
TL;DR: | I came out of the closet, I lost my friends, stayed at home all of the summer, gained like 5-8kg, I cry most of my time. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [19 M] am still hooking up with my ex [18 F]. Can this be healthy?
POST: So everything was going well with my ex and we had just passed our two year anniversary , thats when I found out that she cheated on me about 7 months into the relationship and after a few fights and discussions I finally broke up with her, all of this happened out of no where and I didn't expect it at all.
After the break up, we would still talk occasionally but after a while we would hooked up and have been for about 2 weeks now. She admitted that she fucked up and I stilled talked to her because of how well we were doing and how abruptly we broke up. We both established that this does not mean that we are getting back together but its just nice to have someone there while we both are continuing on with our lives, mostly, separately.
Is this healthy? Will I be able to find someone else that I can start a relationship with?
TL;DR: | after our 2 year anniversary, found out my ex cheated on me 7 months into the relationship and we broke up, we still hook up but don't really include each other in our lives anymore. Is this healthy? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [30 M] with my (G)F [20 F] of 2m, arguing about her past as a couple's sex toy
POST: She has been having her fun in bed with a couple that has a young child (non penetrating kind of fun, apparently). They are close friends which apparently makes it ok.
She hasn't had a BF before and just did "what felt good" with that couple.
I find this really difficult to deal with since she wants to keep seeing them (minus the bedroom activities). For me, this is extremely difficult to deal with. It feels like she's hanging out with her ex, because they are such good friends. She has recently slept over at their place, with another friend (f).
I consider her past behaviour morally unacceptable and I wonder about how she will behave in the future. I'm not sure we should stay together. She is otherwise really nice and we have a lot in common but I find it difficult to deal with her past.
I know different people have very different ideas of right and wrong bug I find her morals fucked up. What's your take?
TL;DR: | My GF has been having sexual relations with an older couple and wants to keep hanging out with them and it bothers me. |
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