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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My[18 M] Parents [45 F AND 48M]don't want me to choose a career path i want to.
POST: Few days back My dad casually asked me what kind of job did i desire after completing college(bach in computer sci) and my answer was the government since they offer equal or even better starting pay,many other benefits as well as nice work timings compared to the corporate world since there is no overtime even if a ton of work is pending,late night meetingS or even any work to do at home.My dad reacted as if he was disgusted with me and said my thoughts are disgusting and lowly and i wouldn't ever progress in life.
Its been a week and both my mom and dad are being sarcastic and sometimes even humiliating me in public.
The only reason i love government jobs is because one gets a ton of time for family and other stuff.I have seen my cousins slaving away in IT everyday from 9 in the morning to 10 or even 12 in the night.Asian IT culture sucks.I don't want that,what i want time for my SO.There's equal pay+job security,yearly promotions and administrative power,who wouldn't love that.
Not just that but they also want me to get distinction throughout engineering,what i want is to work on open source projects,start my owm server hosting,attend hackathons improve myself practically rather than running behind grades.The stuff they teach in my country is outdated,no one even uses VB6 and there's a 50 mark paper on that in each semester but my parents simply don't get it.
TL;DR: | Public humiliation and sarcasm has ensured since a week and i feel depressed,they feel that such things would make me change my mind. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Friend (23f) set me (26m) up with her newly single friend (23f), things were going well...
POST: Okay, so basically for the past few months my friend and coworker called 'S' has been trying to set me up with her friends. Finally, for her bday 'S' we all went out and I was the only guy in the group. They all said how they had heard so many good things about me from 'S'.
Awesome, I was enjoying this night. However, out of all the friends, the one that recently got out of a long term relationship called 'L' was the one that approached me, gave me her number, and told me to take her to dinner.
We talked that night, and spoke some on Sunday and we made loose plans to grab dinner next week. However, it's been a few days and she hasn't gotten back to my playful text so I haven't bothered to reach out to make concrete plans yet. A buddy of mine knows 'L' too and he said rumor has it she isn't over her ex and she's trying to get back with him so that gives me some pause.
So question, do I just let this go, play it cool and just see if she comes around? Or do I take initiative and invite her to dinner in a few days? I guess I'm just confused at how forward she was the first night, and how stand-offish she's been via text/social media afterwards.
TL;DR: | Setup by a friend, got her number made date plans. Now the girl is MIA. Should I still push for that date? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I've apologized so much and I'm scared he's going to break up with me.
POST: My bf and I have been together for almost and year and we're both 20 years old. We had a major fight in August and I accused him of cheating on me after reading a text message on his phone from a girl that said, "Can I get another kiss?", from him to her. We took a break for about a week and patched things up. He said he didn't cheat on me and he doesn't remember said text and suggested that I might have just taken it out of context. So I accepted the fact that he didn't cheat on me, but in the back of my mind this text still bothered me.
This brings me to Saturday night. We got pretty drunk and I blacked out, when I wake up that morning he proceeds to tell me that I freaked out at him and that I told him that I still think he cheated on me. So be hardly talk for the next couple of days. Then last night we talked and he said he forgave me and was over it. We went on with things as usual, I go to sleep early because I have to be up at 7 for work. Well, he wakes me up at 4am to tell me that he lied and that he was still upset with me. He said that he wanted to see me happy and that was why he lied. So now I'm even more hurt and upset. He proceeds to tell me that it might be a bad idea for us to go traveling together (because we had plans to travel in the summer) and when I asked him why he said he wasn't sure we should even be together anymore. I'm going over to his place tonight to talk about it but I'm so scared he's going to break up with me and I don't want to lose him.
I've apologized profusely to him and he knows how shitty I feel about doing this. Why would he lie to me about everything being okay when he knew I would still end up hurt? Is this really something to break up over? Everyone does and says stupid things when they're drunk right?
TL;DR: | Re-accuse my bf of cheating on me when I don't believe he did. Thought we fixed things but he lied to me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [25 F] think my boyfriend [25 M] ended our relationship using silent treatment
POST: I posted about this 2 weeks ago: ( ) and have heard from him just once, on Thursday the 17th. We briefly spoke on the phone, he said he needed more time and space and we'd talk the following Sunday. We never did. I sent him a text later saying I still wanted to drive the 6hrs to go see him this weekend, but to please let me know if he was no longer interested in continuing this. He never answered that, or my voicemail.
I knew I should've stayed away but noticed he was on Facebook on Wednesday, so I sent a message saying I don't understand why he's continuing to do this when he knows how much distress I'm in, and that I've tried this whole time to apologize and fix things but can't do any more. I wished him luck and said I was grateful to have met him.
I understand some people need to step away to really think about things, but I think its safe to say he's abandoned me at this point right? He hasn't deleted me from his friends list, which adds to the confusion, so I'm having a hard time letting go and don't know if I should, or keep waiting to see if he comes around. It's all been so emotionally draining. I don't have any answers and feel like I'm in limbo. I don't understand why he can't send a quick message saying it's over or whatever, instead of continuing to ignore me and living his life like I'm nothing. Help?
TL;DR: | LD boyfriend needed time and space after an argument, may have decided he wants all the space and neglected to tell me it's over. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Noisy Neighbors at apartment above me, please help!
POST: I live in an apartment with people above and next to me (one side). The walls are somewhat on the thin side, but not too thin and I take that into consideration when things happen. Every single day, night and afternoon (pretty much the majority of each day)they have music playing. This music is loud enough for me to hear above my TV. I can hear this music above a box fan at the end of my bed. They also run back and forth in their apartment, which isn't illegal, but interferes with my day, my sleep, my writing of my thesis for my MS degree. I've talked to them once about turning the music down and I was nice about it. They did for less than a day. Not sure what to do. Call Police? Apartment office says to figure it out between the two parties. That isn't working.
TL;DR: | Noisy neighbors won't shut off the damn music or use head phones after asking them. Can't go to office of apartments cause they won't do shit. (hope this is the correct subreddit) |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: Stressed about university, being away from home, and the feeling of loneliness
POST: Hey guys!
I just want to start off by saying that I know my worries are by no mean special. I know that hundres of thousands might feel the excact way I feel right now, but that does not help me from acting the way I do.
Earlier this year I started university in a city 10 hours away from home. I moved from a small city, having many friends and family close by, to a big, scary city, with no relatives or friends.
I have, of course, during this fall, gotten myself some new friends. But this does not fill the gap that I feel I have, because of the feeling that I slowly lose my friends from home.
Before I moved several friends told me they were going to come and visit me, luckily I have had a visit from one friend, and that felt great, but I still feel sad because no other friends have come to visit me.
This feeling combined with the immense stress I apply to myself about university is dragging me down to a place I have not been emotionally before. Everything is so new and hard at uni. I have been a good student all semester (atleast in my eyes), not skipping out of classes, reading the books and participating in after school work groups, but I still feel that I'm going to fail my exams which start in a few days anyways.
I know my parents won't be disappointed in me if I fail, but I know for sure I will. This thought scheme I have going is super destructive, but I can't help it.
I can't sleep because I am afraid of not studying well enough these last days, and I can't study well these last days since I can't sleep.
I know I am a bit silly if I think rationally about it all, but I can't seem to do that right now.
I just want to end this by saying that I really wish I had some more "good" friends in my new place, someone to relate too at the same level I did with some of my friends from home.
Cheers from a stressed out 19-year old boy.
TL;DR: | Moved away from home, left everyone. Feel alone in new city, afraid of not getting new "good" friends, and afraid of failing classes at university. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Girlfriend (17F) has a mother who verbally abuses her for no reason, I (18M) am wondering what I should do if anything (9 month relationship)
POST: My girlfriend's mother seems like a nice enough person. When I am at my girlfriend's house, she is nice to me and seems friendly. But while I am away, my girlfriend will tell me that her mother calls her a monster, that she isn't worth anything, and that she "should quit acting like a spoiled brat", among many other *lovely* phrases.
I've heard her mother call her a bitch, a slut, a cocksucker, and a "no good hooker with no future". All of this is completely untrue. My girlfriend is a star student in school and a member of the choir, forensics team, and NHS. She is very friendly and outgoing. Yet her mother apparently believes that she's basically a rebellious whore who slacks off and treats everyone like shit.
Now, I know my girlfriend well, and she is one of the sweetest and most selfless people I know. And I know for a fact that she isn't lying about her mother, because it has happened a few times while we were skyping and her mother didn't know I was around.
While this isn't necessarily a pertinent issue like physical abuse or alcoholism, it's driven my girlfriend to tears and to cut herself (early on in the relationship, she has stopped since). Also, it is my belief that she does not deserve to be treated in such a way. Am I wrong for wanting to do something about it, or telling my girlfriend to do something? I would appreciate any advice. Thank you.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend's mother verbally abuses her to the point of tears, I am wondering what to do about it or what to tell my girlfriend, if anything. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [22F] have extreme jealousy/ insecurity issues with my boyfriend [24 M] of 1.5 years, please help.
POST: It all started with a coworker. He told me she had a thing for him and tried to make passes at him a couple of times. The last straw was when I found on his cell phone deleted messages of him inviting her to a bar that he and his friend went to. I know that's not enough to break up with him but damn, was I ready. What hurt was the fact that we had gotten into a HUGE fight the night before and I felt he was running to her with our problems. He later told me that they had developed a friendship based on their mutual conflicts with their SO. I felt that he emotionally cheated on us and that had he been given further encouragement by her, he probably would've developed feelings for her. What really pissed me off was that he lied to me about their friendship. They would drink together alone during their break and have drinks with other coworkers after work. I told him to break all contact with her after I found out he was trying to invite her that night at the bar. Well, he told me he would and didn't. I found out because this girl kept sending him texts afterward. So I took matters into my own hands and called her. I was very respectful and told her that I wasn't comfortable with their friendship and that I'd like for her to place herself in my shoes. She said she understood and that she would've done the same. Now that that's over, I still find that he looks her up still. I have had issues with infidelity before in a previous very abusive relationship. My ex displayed the same behaviors and eventually ended up cheating on me physically several times with his coworkers. I don't want that to happen to me again but I feel I'm being unreasonable with my current SO. How am I supposed to let this go? How unreasonable do you guys think I'm being? Please, I need a reality check, I'm harming my relationship over nothing.
TL;DR: | I caught my boyfriend lying about his state of friendship with a coworker and I can't get over it. I feel I'm sabotaging my relationship over nothing. Help me gain perspective and control over my emotions again. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dogs
TITLE: My sister's dog is going to be put down unless I can find a way to help him!!
POST: My sister has a four-year-old King Charles Cavalier Spaniel named Buddy. He's the sweetest little dog. He has brain damage from when he was hit by a car in 2011. He gets tons of affection from my sister's two sons (4 and 6) and has a big, fenced backyard to romp in. He's a sweet boy with a gentle disposition.
Yesterday, it was hot for the first time in a while so my sister had a few neighbor kids over to her house to play. One of the little girls bent down to give Buddy a hug, something he gets all of the time from my sister's kids. As she pulled back, Buddy lashed out and bit her face. She wound up needing seven stitches.
My sister says she's just going to put him down to avoid the hassle and liability shit. I want her to try to find a different solution to just killing him.
What are the rules/laws/policies around relinquishing a dog who has done something like this? He has ZERO signs of aggression. I've been training dogs since I was young. This dog may be pretty brainless, but he's not a menace. I would adopt him but I already have a puppy and a cat, I can't take on another pet financially.
My sister is dead-set on putting him down because she's scared he's going to hurt her sons. Please, what can I do to save this little dog's life?
TL;DR: | My sister has a non-aggressive dog who bit a little girl. Seven stitches later, she's putting him down unless I find out how to save him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [23M], just had a breakup with [23F] I've been on and off with for 5 years - confused.
POST: Hey guys,
Just wanted to post here and get some of your thoughts.
Bit of a back story: This girl and I had been seeing each other on and off during university, then we both graduated and moved to London (Not together). We ended up seeing each other on a night out and decided to get together, so we got in to a relationship. Now she was a bit hesitant about the relationship from the start, saying she had only ever had 1 other boyfriend and her parents raised her to think if she got serious with someone she would have to marry them.
Its all been going really well, she told me I was always a subject that came up in her mind and she thought we would end up together. 2 weeks ago she told me how scared she was about losing me since she liked me so much. Then this weekend she came around, I realised something was wrong so asked her about it. Basically she said she felt guilty every time she turned down her friends to see me and also said that she was confused about what she believed religiously and thought long-term we wouldn't work because of religious beliefs (I am non-religious).
So she said she thinks she needs to be alone. This was a few days ago, but she sent me a message this morning saying how sorry she was about how she handled everything. She said she was really confused and needed time to herself to sort everything out, but also acknowledged her reasons seemed really weak but for her she had been worrying about them for a long time.
I am currently avoiding contact and just giving her space, I figure she will either realise she wants the relationship or we'll just stay broken up. Either way I think I need a relationship where we are both invested, as right now it feels like its not a priority for her.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend broke up with me, said she needed time to sort herself out, but was telling me how much she was afraid to lose me a week beforehand. Need advice. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [28M] and my date [23F], does she deserve another chance?
POST: I really like this chick and we've had 7 or 8 dates and spent the whole weekend together. We're not boyfriend and girlfriend but we agreed not to see other people. We've both talked about a future together and she told me she wouldn't be sleeping with me if she wasn't serious about me.
I thought it would be nice to introduce her to my mates yesterday, she only had a few drinks before she was drunk. She rested her head on my mates shoulder, she kept touching his arm and even sat on his lap at one point. She wanted to sleep at my place and we had a fight in the car that went like this.
Me: I'm taking you home, I don't want to spend the night with you.
Her: Why not?
Me: You're rude, I take you out and you flirt with my mate and sit on his lap.
Her: Oh my god I was being friendly. Are you serious?
Me: You can be friendly with my mates without flirting and constant touching.
Her: No other guy has ever had a problem with harmless flirting. Why are you being like this?
Me: I don't care if your ex boyfriends are pussys, I'm not letting you treat me like that.
She's since apologised for sitting on his lap, but not for flirting. She wanted to meet up but i told her i was busy. I'm offended, she must think I'm a pussy if she thinks I'm going to let her flirt with my mate, I don't know if she deserves a second chance. Should I meet up with her and try to talk things through, or should I tell her that it's not working out?
TL;DR: | My date flirted with my mate, then gave me a half assed apology. Do I try to talk it out with her or should I not bother? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [29 M] have a low libido for my [23 F] fiance of 2 years. Having cold feet.
POST: When we started dating, things were great, but then we started having sex. She immediately backed away, and our sex life was never great. We never had those moments where we were just all over each other. Instead, that first year was full of rejection.
Things got better for the most part, or at least, I became accustom to the amount of sex, and was fairly happy, so I proposed. However, after the engagement, she has been all over me, and my sex drive just hasn't been there.
I've been to the doctor. Testosterone levels are fine. Job isn't stressful either. She's a bit naggy, but far less than exes in the past who I had far more drive for. So I don't really think it's any of the normal causes.
The thing is, I'm happy for the most part. In my past relationships, they have been very sex driven to the point where it stressed me out. This one is slower and I actually liked that, that is, until she started having needs that surpassed mine.
I feel like a hypocrite because she denied my needs, but now I deny hers. Now I don't think she is happy. While I'm happy, her stress bothers me.
The other thing that bothers me is that I notice other women, a LOT. I want to have sex with them, I want to date them, I want to just be free. But I love my fiance. I know that's cliche, but here's the thing..Even when I feel low about our relationship, she is the one who makes me feel better. I can't bear the thought of hurting her, because she's such a great person.
What should I do, reddit? I don't want to end the engagment, I've been to my therapist, I've been to my doctor, and we have fights over my past resentment of her rejection. Is there any other option here?
TL;DR: | I wanted sex at beginning. Sex drive fell. Now fiance wants more. Causing stress. Other women seem appealing. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Help Me Fellow Pastor's Kids
POST: This a throwaway, I don't trust my parents. If any of you are the children (or other relatives) of pastors, or know a lot about pastors, I'd appreciate your input. I tried to find the answer elsewhere on the Internet, only found job listings.
My question: How long do you think it would take for a pastor to find a job? My mother is female, fifty-two, has decades of experience, and requires a manse (house provided by the church, common thing, fyi just in case). She's been at the church we're at now for over two years, but she hates it, and we're planning on moving, but last time we did it took about two years of looking. Is this a rare occurrence? Please someone give me any information you have to help me with, I just want to know how much time I have with my friends/ long time boyfriend. My pastor mother doesn't know I know she's looking and I can't stand not knowing.
TL;DR: | My pastor Mom is looking for a new church, I want to know how long I have with my friends and long time boyfriend, any information you have on this would help me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [23m] may have just helped a girl cheat on her [21f] bf.. when does 'just hanging out' turn into cheating?
POST: I have discussed what happened with a few female friends of mine and they are absolutely convinced that I helped her cheat on her boyfriend. What happened is that we are very close friends, but I only have the chance to see her every few months because she is away at school. The last time that I saw her we hung out and spent about 14 hours together, just talking and doing nothing overly physical - I had my arm around her a few times and she did the same. We went out to dinner at a nice restaurant and then went stargazing. A few times, the conversation became very intimate and she mentioned that she has feelings for me and sometimes sees me as more than just a friend. On top of that, we discussed very private and personal things.. things that I guess would not normally be shared between people unless they were in a relationship.
Since nothing physical happened, I don't think that I've done anything wrong.. but my friends say that she was emotionally cheating and that I should have done something to stop it. She mentioned that she does not tell her boyfriend that we hang out and that, as far as he knows, we have not hung out in years. They've been dating for 5 years. Not sure what to think about this.. any advice?
TL;DR: | I'm told a girl cheated with me "emotionally" on her boyfriend. Since nothing physical happened, I don't think I've done anything wrong... have I? |
SUBREDDIT: r/needadvice
TITLE: Reddit, my friend may be dying and I need your advice
POST: My friend has one fucked up life. He was thrown out of his home at 14 when his mother and abusive boyfriend accused him of stealing her pot and was homeless for two years. He tried just about every drug under the sun because of his experiences on the streets, but now sticks solely to pot and cigarettes. As you can probably imagine, he's seen the inside of a jail cell many times (but all while he was a minor and all related to drug possession only). He's been stabbed, beaten, burnt, and shot due to his attempts to help his far more criminal and far more dangerous twin brother. At 18 he finally managed to pull his life together, only to find out at 24 his girlfriend of 8 years was cheating on him and ever since he caught her she has routinely beaten the crap out of him any time he tries to leave her. He never calls the cops because she threatens to accuse him of rape and he never fights back because he adamantly believes guys do not hit girls.
However, the icing on the cake here is that he has an inoperable brain tumor (caused by head trauma caused by his abusive father) that he discovered three years ago and has done nothing to try and treat. He has no insurance and his family couldn't care less what happens to him. The tumor causes him seizures and has prevented him from being able to drive and therefore hold a job. He notices that as every year passes he loses a little more function and is in a little more pain. He was told when first diagnosed that he'd be lucky to see 30 and has resigned himself to this fact. More and more I am afraid he will kill himself to end his severe headaches and misery over feeling unloved and unwanted...
Reddit, what do I do? I have very little money myself and I am currently banned from even talking to him thanks to my family's fear over him being a bad influence. He may not be perfect, but he sure as hell does not deserve to die. What can I do for him?
TL;DR: | I have a friend who has been through hell and who may be dying of a brain tumor and lacks the insurance needed to get help. What can I do for him? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How to prevent my MIL (65f) from sending me (25f) and my SO (24m) a friend request on facebook?
POST: This is quite a simple question, I thought you could give me some ideas!
My SO's mother wants to create an account on facebook. It's pretty clear that she will atempt to add my BF and myself.
Neither one of us wants it to happen.
Hell, I didn't even accept my own mother's request to add me (and I clearly asked her not to add my SO).
But my SO isn't as frank with his mother, he never tells her anything that could cross/hurt her (like, if she calls him on the phone and he can't talk, he won't tell her "mum I can't speak right now I'm doing something, I'll call you later", he'll just let her talk and he'll be pissed later). This is really annoying.
Anyway, so he doesn't know how to let his mother know that he doesn't want her to add him on facebook (and to let her know that she shouldn't add me, like I did for him with my mother).
Also, his mother is really, really touchy and sensitive, she often takes things the wrong way and then she sulks and shuts off like a child.
How could we get her to not send us any friend request, whithout offending her?
(I don't want to add her and then block her, because I'm afraid that she'll know)
TL;DR: | MIL wants to add my BF and myself on facebook. We don't want her to but BF won't say anything. What could we do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [27f]Opinion time: do you think dating/hook it up with your close friend [27m] is destined for failure?
POST: Title should say "Hooking"
To elaborate, do you think adults that are close are destined to not work out if they hook up or date? A close friend of mine admitted that although he has thought about us hooking up on multiple occasions (but circumstances prevented it), he would be too afraid to now because we are so close and his dating track record would indicate that this may end with the loss of a friendship.
I've heard some friends say his fear makes sense & others say it's a cop out. My gut tells me that if he wasn't actually interested he wouldn't have admitted to having those desires before. But I'm conflicted. Any input would be great.
TL;DR: | friend admitted he has considered us hooking up but is scared to ruin the friendship. I can't tell if that is legitimate or a bunk excuse. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Can't stop comparing girls to ex. Advice, please.
POST: Long story short: I (19 M) dated this girl (19 F) for three years. I loved her, no doubt. We were very serious. Or so I thought. She ended up whoring around on me with a college dropout, teen dad (so at least I won at life). I had so much fun with her. It was honestly perfect until she started becoming who she is now. I was completely devastated. It took me a while to recover, but I did. I'm completely over her now, but I still have memories that present problems for me.
I'm currently in a two month old relationship with a new, fantastic girl (18 F). She's an amazing person, has my style and tastes, makes me laugh, and everything. But I can't stop remembering times with my ex and how I had more fun back then (or so I feel). I can't stop comparing experiences to times I shared with her. This is my second post-breakup relationship. The first wasn't great, but the same thing happened.
How do I tell if a girl isn't what I really want or if the memories are just messing up my judgement and I actually really like her? Is this normal? Does it take more time? I dunno what to do or how to handle relationships now because I'm always wondering if it is as good as the original girl. Any advice would be helpful. I feel like this is stopping me from becoming close to another girl. Thanks, guys.
TL;DR: | Broke up with girl after three years because she cheated a lot. Can't stop wondering if new relationships are as good. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25M] with my GF [25F] of 1.5 years. Uncertain if Relationship Can Survive - Unsure How to Exit.
POST: I've been seeing this girl, "A", since Dec 2015, and we've been dating since Feb 2016. I met her from work, and I made a move once I knew she had put in her two weeks, so there's no problem there.
From the start, there were clear signs our personalities were different. My family and background is very loving, verbally and physically affectionate, and welcoming to people I introduce them to, but not close knit (we can go months to a year without seeing each other). A's family is the opposite: extremely close knit (she lives with her parents - sick dad she takes care of - and sees her sister multiple times a week) but are also extremely critical. She never received praise growing up, only cold family love, and the constant reminder that she wasn't excelling enough by their standards. Our initial connection was that we both came from large families (6 siblings each).
In the past 1.5 years, I have attempted to break up with A numerous times. It would start with something relatively small: I was inconsiderate about something, or she was a little too bitchy to me, it would devolve into a full blown fight, and I would get exhausted. I'm very pro-independence, personal autonomy, and experiencing life, so the idea of staying in a relationship that doesn't make me happy is foreign. She, on the other hand, is used to working on relationships even if it's riddled with fighting. To her, her friends, and her family, fighting and near-breakups are common. Every time the breakup is almost "sealed" - amidst shouting, and insults - she will break down in tears. And I cave. And we makeup. And I convince myself that I have to put more effort into this relationship, and make it worthwhile, since I'm not exiting it like I felt compelled to do.
My question is, with your limited information on my relationship, and understanding that situations are complex, at what point do I call it quits and realize a relationship is toxic...or even abusive? And when I make that decision, how do I go through with it?
TL;DR: | In an uncomfortable/unhappy/repressive/maybe-abusive relationship. When to stop trying to improve it. How to successfully make the break? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I have feelings for a girl I'm forced to see twice a week
POST: I'm 20 (male), friends with this girl, 20. I tried to make a move on her, she said she just wanted to stay friends. I love talking to her. Whenever I see her I want to talk to her and be around her. Even if I get a hug from her, even a long one, it's never enough. Even if I talk to her and have a whole conversation, it's never enough.
She's friends with the other guys I live with in my house (there are about 20 of us, it's a fraternity house) so because of this, she's usually over here one to two times a week. She came over tonight to hang out after our social, so she looked really good in party clothes. I want these feelings to stop getting in the way of hanging out when she's here, but we're friends. How can I stop these feelings I have?
TL;DR: | I (male) have strong feelings for a friend (girl) I see twice a week, but need to stop these feelings because she already said she wants to stay friends. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [34/m] Wife (33/f) I think my wife cheated on me. What should I do?
POST: Been together for 16 years married for two. Have three daughters. A few months ago. She had to go out of town for a work conference. The last time i had talk to her that day was at 8am. Just before she left. The conference is about 3 hours from where we live. I had texted her through out the day with no response. I figured she was just busy and couldn't reply. 10pm rolls around and still no reply. So i am getting really worried at this point. I ended up finding an Android app i could download to her phone and get the GPS location. By this time it is 2am. It shows she is at the Hotel she is suppose to be at. So im like WTF. Than i started browsing the app i had downloaded. And i am able to record the voices that are around the phone. So i do some recordings. And there is a mans voice in her room. I can tell whose voice it is and its one of her coworkers. This was a person she was suppose dislike. But the way they are talking and some of the stuff that's being said. Its like they're a couple. I cant make out a lot on the recordings. But at one point she says she has to pee. And he says i thought you went before you got in bed? And there joking around if some one had seen them going up to the room. I finally talk to her around 2:10am. She denies there is any one in the room. After telling her what i had heard she finally admitted he was there but they were just talking.
Basically within the recordings there is no true smoking gun saying they did anything. But a lot of it is hard to make out. I would be long gone by now if we didn't have three kids. And no real proof. All she admits to is have a guy in her hotel room. I've confronted him. He just says nothing happened and i would be a fool to leave her over this. I've tried enhancing the audio my self with no such luck. From my understanding. She was with this guy from 11pm till 2:30am. And all they did was talk.
TL;DR: | She was recorded in her hotel room with another guy. Do not know if they had sexual relations. Hard to make out a lot of what is being said on the recordings. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [26 M] thinking about breaking up with my girlfriend [29 F] of 2 years, but by just picking up and leaving without telling her until she gets home.
POST: So basically I won't bore everyone with a long drawn out story but a quick question, this relationship has run it's course and will not be healthy for a true long term future.
Is it wrong to simply move all of your stuff out of a place you share together, we live together at a house owned by her family (no monetary risks here) while she's not home and then **confront her once my materials are safe later on in the day**. She is very anxiety ridden, insecure, and I'm afraid she will harm herself due to a past involving it or her flip out, and I rather my belongings not be at risk if things get insane
I also admit, I rather not attempt to move stuff out a few hours while she's crying/yelling/etc
TL;DR: | Is it wrong to move out secretly and quickly without her knowledge because of her tendency to get confrontational and I want to make sure my belongings are safe. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dogs
TITLE: What should do ears smell like?
POST: I am asking because my dog's ears have a smell. It's not rancid, or putrid or anything like that, they smell very "doggy" is the only way to put it, kind of like concentrated dog, or kind of like belly button smell?
Everywhere I look online says "ZOMG TAKE TO VET EAR INFECTION". I clean his ears about twice a month, I've noticed nothing swollen, no puss or discharge, or anything out of the ordinary. He usually has a little bit of gritty earwax, which I've always noticed. I don't remember smelling his ears when he was younger to compare what they "should" or "should not" smell like.
I'm not trying to cop out, but the guys been to so many vet visits because I freaked out over what always turns out to be absolutely nothing. He's also had $4k surgery, so if possible, I'd like to avoid another trip to the vet over something that could be nothing.
TL;DR: | what should dog ears smell like? if they smell at all, even if it's not putrid, is it a sign of infection? |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: Advice needed.
POST: Alright I'm gonna try to make this is as short but detailed as possible. So, I currently work in the grocery business as a grocery clerk. My job is to stock the shelves and pull in loads off of trucks, etc. I currently make $9.75 an hour working on average 25 hours a week. This is because I was promoted to be a daytime stocker working anywhere from 12p-8p on average 4 hours a day, 5 days a week. I net about $200 a week on a good paycheck. I knew when I was promoted that I wouldn't be full time (and for some reason I agreed). Well now my cousin has the opportunity to get me a job in a completely different field, but a better opportunity. I realize this. The job consists of sitting at a desk, answering calls from dealers about potential clients seeking loans for cars, inputting their info into a pre calculated program and giving them an answer. Just that, for 40 hours a week, and $15 an hour starting! Now the thing is, I'm not a very "outgoing" person (for lack of a better word). I've been told from her (and my sister who also works there), that the dealers will try to heckle you to try and get the loan (because they gotta make money too, right?) I'm uncertain if I have the will to be able to withstand that sort of heckling and that's the only thing holding me back from taking the job. I know it's probably a silly reason, but what are some things I can do to be more stern and less of a pushover? I really want (and need) this new job. Also, I don't want to have to deal with the aggressiveness I'll receive from my current job for leaving them right before the holidays. I guess that's grouped in with the pushover-ness. Any help? Motivational tips? I just wanna learn how to say "no". Thanks for reading and helping if you're able!
TL;DR: | Job opportunity answering calls from car dealers for loans. Need help being more stern and less of a pushover because it's holding me back from accepting it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24 M] with my Wife [34 F] 4 years, She is stuck with me for at least one more year because of bigger purposes. but i love her! help!
POST: We have been together for 5 years, dated for 2 years, moved together after the first year dating, and have been married for 3 years.
our relationship has been great till the last 5 months it has been decaying significantly. Im Stepfather of 2 wonderful kids, 10-13 i share a lot with them and my wife. she told me 5 months ago she doesnt love me anymore but we have to stay together for a greater reason.
I need to get her back but im running out of techniques. we go out for dinner, movies, camping trips, and much more when we have free time.
TL;DR: | What should i do? should i keep on trying? i still love her, and im afraid to lose her, or should i surrender and wait till we both can find our ways? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I [16/m] have developed a massive crush on my best friend [17/f] and, for various reasons, (elaborated within) just want it to blow over
POST: First off, aside from our ages, I'm a junior in high school and she's a senior. We've known each other since my freshman year, we were best friends second semester and over the summer, then weren't sophomore year, (we didn't have a fight or anything, we just kind of stopped talking) and now have been all of my junior year. Probably..two months ago now (around Homecoming, how long ago was that?) I noticed that I might have a bit of a crush on her. Ignore it. Fast forward a month or so. It has grown significantly. Ignore it more. Fast forward to last night. It is past the point of ignoring, and I have somehow convinced myself that she likes me back.
This is a problem, because my reason for ignoring it in the first place, was because I wanted it to just go away. I don't know how much I actually want to do something about it, because a) she has a boyfriend (long-distance, us in Nebraska, him in South Carolina, but still) b) I don't want to lose her friendship or things to be awkward or anything, and c) she's going out of state for college in June.
I have..NO idea what to do >.< Thanks in advance, guys.
TL;DR: | I [16/m] have a huge crush on my best friend [17/f] and I would prefer not to do anything about it, but its grown beyond control and I don't know what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/weddingplanning
TITLE: I need honest feedback regarding music at church ceremony
POST: My fiance and I are getting married this October - he requested a church ceremony (i've never been to church in my life!) which is fine. The other night I was at a bar and this random guy was playing acoustic guitar and singing country songs. He wasn't being paid to play, he was playing for fun but he sounded amazing!! So I asked if he would be interested in playing at our ceremony to entertain guests.
My question is, is it odd to have someone play and sing some regular music while guests are being seated?
I hate the sound of organs, and that is what we were going to have originally, so I really like this instead. He is not a professional, he writes his own music and plays cover songs -He reminds me of someone who one who hear playing around a bonfire at a party, I just really enjoy his voice. He agreed to play, we need to come up with a list of songs together, and he has no idea what I should charge him! I would only need for for 30-40 minutes or an hour max.
thanks!
TL;DR: | is it odd to have someone play/sing regular music (country/ soft rock) songs acoustically for prelude to ceremony |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: Question about calories burned and overall advice needed
POST: So exams are just wrapping up and I am ready for the summer. This means I can devote more time to walking, doing extra cardio, and going to the pool. My question is as a 6'1 male weighing one hundred and ninety-five pounds is my calories burned. Lets say I walk roughly ten thousand steps in one day and did roughly 35 minutes of cardio at a moderate heart rate (70-75 max), how many calories would I be burning? I have had trouble figuring out how many I burn and a breakdown would be appreciated. I want to get a better grip on losing these last 15 pounds. These last pounds have been the hardest thing I have done in my life. My problem is I think I might be restricting my calories sometimes for too long and burn out quickly(usually always thinking of the next meal). I have been in and out of this slump where I eat good for a week or two and then sabotage myself or a family BBQ comes up and I say " it's only one cheat day" but ends up into having leftovers the next day and eating like shit. I'd like to be losing around 2 pounds a week but I know it's hard work. I've lost 75 pounds on and off this last year and have had a hard time since hitting 205. Sometimes I lack discipline and can go a few days without counting calories just to make all the progress of two weeks go away. Help on both questions would be appreciated.
TL;DR: | I'm 6'1 195 pounds and want to know how many calories burned is 10,000 steps and 30 minutes of moderate cardio(70-75 max heart rate) for someone of my size amongst other things. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I think I'm being cheated on, so I kind of need some advice
POST: Ok, so I started dating this girl a year and a half ago. She was an au pair and while we both said we didn't want to, we got kind of serious pretty quick. After about a year she started getting really homesick and we decided that she should go home and that we would do long distance until we figured things out. Things got sour after a while because of the difficulty communicating with an 11 hour time difference and we broke up but she never wanted to break contact. I kind of like to go the Ghost Protocol route with ex's when we break up so eventually I had to answer one of her messages if for no other reason than to stop the madness. Now don't get me wrong, I loved the girl, but my only way of dealing with not being with someone like that is to close that chapter on my life. So to get back on track, I finally break down and talk to her and she tells me how big of a mistake it all was to leave and then to break up. She tells me how she wants to be with me and she wants to "give us a chance". So basically I say she is right and that we were hasty and we start talking pretty regularly. She asks me multiple times if I'm talking to girls and I always explain that it is the last thing on my mind and she has said the same. Now here's the thing. My phone broke a couple weeks ago and I haven't had the money to replace it because I do catering and my hours are based on the amount of orders. I haven't had any hours really since my phone broke due to a random dry spell and so it's still not fixed and communicating with anyone these days seems to be impossible. I don't know how we lived even a decade ago without cellphones. I've been off Facebook for months, ever since my ex and I broke up actually, so I guess that would be my communication outlet without a cellphone. My buddy has been telling me this for a week or so, finally he told me to look at his FB and it's her profile with another guy time-stamped yesterday with the label of "Psychedelic Boyfriend".
TL;DR: | Girl and I broke up, she asked me for another chance, we've said we weren't dating others and my friend showed me a FB photo tagged with her BF yesterday. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Should I [27/m] let me ex-SO [28/f] know I am getting help with my issues?
POST: First off, I just started seeing someone, so it is not like I have accomplished anything on my issues.
But I have had serious issues in my relationship with her and my previous SOs. I have known for a while I needed professional help to get over some or most of them, and haven't really done anything.
She stopped talking to me a few weeks ago after I wrote some very nasty, unwarranted, and abusive text messages to her. This isn't the first time she has stopped talking to me. I know not talking to me anymore was the right thing, and I have done a good job respecting her wishes.
But I want her to know I am getting help and making changes is important to me, even if it far too little, far too late. I miss her a lot, so that is a motivation as well.
Should I write her a quick e-mail letting her know I am getting help? or something else? Or continue to respect her wish not to talk to me.
TL;DR: | Was abusive to my SO, she didn't want to talk to me anymore, just started getting help, should I tell her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, what is one memory of yours that is linked with a special sound or smell?
POST: I will start.
When I was 12 I sat in my room playing
TL;DR: | WHen I was 12 my mother dropped something in the kitchen, I looked after her and found her on the ground, diagnose stroke and heart attack. Now Everytime I hear a noise I think of that evening. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by almost burning my face off with hot oil
POST: So I came home from school and was super hungry. Found some french fries in the freezer and thought I would deep fry them in a small cooking pot I have.
The pot had some dust so I washed it first. HOWEVER, after washing I didn't completely dry out all the little water droplets at the bottom with a paper towel...(I'm sure you can see where this is going)
So stupid me pours the oil in the pot and turns on the stove to high. I also decided to put the lid on the pot on because I thought the oil would heat up faster = faster i get to eat dem fries
I was standing by my refrigerator when all of a sudden BOOOM all the hot oil basically volcano blasted out of the pot and got on everything in the immediate area. THANKFULLY my fridge is on the other side of the kitchen so I didn't get sprayed, and my dog was safe licking his balls in his crate.
TL;DR: | didn't clean out all the drops of water from cooking pot before trying to deep fry. Resulted in volcano of hot oil that would have probably seriously burned me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20M] have been seeing a girl [19F] for several weeks and found out she had a boyfriend.
POST: I met this girl a few weeks ago at the college we go to and immediately hit it off. We have the same taste in music, video games, life goals, and well virtually everything else. So naturally we started talking and one night she asked me if I wanted to go to the bar.
We had a blast and one thing lead to another and she was back at my place. We ended up repeating the process a few times, going on dates, and getting to really know each other.
Then after a few weeks I get a text telling me that she fucked up really bad. She told me that she had a long time boyfriend and that she had just fallen so fast that she couldn't bring herself to tell me. She also mentioned that she told her boyfriend and the broke up but they were going to try and work through it. I asked her to talk in person but she has yet to respond.
My issue is that I am torn between what I want to do and what i probably should do. I have been on the other end of cheating and i know how terribly it can hurt. I also know the saying "If they'll cheat with you they'd cheat on you." However a part of me really doesn't care. It's to rare to find people that i connect with the way that I did with her. I feel like it would be wrong to walk away without even trying.
TL;DR: | I started liking the girl I've been hooking up with and she has a boyfriend. I do not know what to do from here. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Boyfriend troubles...(long)
POST: Hi Reddit. I've been fighting with my boyfriend over the same thing for the past 3 months. We love each other, but he absolutely cannot get over this one, single thing. Here's the story.
After I came back to Tennessee where I attend college (I was up in Baltimore with him all throughout winter break), I met up with my best friend since middle school at her apartment. Normally I'm very boring and don't do anything other than study, shop, and go to class. Well, I went to see her, and she asked me if I would like to drink a little bit with her. Although I don't usually drink, I decided to go ahead and have some fun with my friend I rarely see. I didn't get drunk or anything, I only had 3 drinks and was perfectly capable of walking, reading, and using the restroom by myself. When I was a bit tipsy, I went with my friend and her roommates to a dance club. We were all too young to get in (we're 19 and 18). Thus, one of her roommates wanted to see this guy she likes; so we went to his apartment. I sat with my friend and didn't even talk to the guy and his roommates. Well, during this whole series of events our designated driver kept all of our phones to avoid drunk phone calls and texts. So, my boyfriend got worried about me and texted me a few times. I responded as soon as I could, and I was coherent enough to have a normal conversation with him. That night, I told him that I got a bit tipsy with my best friend and her all female roommates. He absolutely freaked out! He accused me of cheating on him and everything else under the sun. I told him everything about the night, gave him every single detail (for example, what songs we were drinking to, the brand of vodka, etc). Despite this, he still won't believe me. He even insisted on talking to all of my friend's roommates! This continual guilt trip is absolutely killing me. I have no clue what to do reddit, please help.
TL;DR: | I got tipsy with my friends, nothing happened, my boyfriend is still mad at me even though it was 3 months ago, |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Fallen for a girl-friend who isn't my current GF...
POST: To preface this, it may be a bit long winded....
So to fill in some back details, I'm 21M and I've been dating a fantastic girl (21F) who I'm absolutely in love with for almost 3 years now.
Now is where the second girl comes along.
At the start of 2011, I moved back out into my university dorms and the girl (20F) I lived next door to that year was amazing. We got along like best friends straight from the get-go and we still do despite the fact that I had a GF and she had a BF (all four of us got along quite well).
Now to the current day,
So recently (past about 3 months) we've been hanging out (myself and 20F) a lot more than we did last year (dinners, movies and the like). Her relationship with her BF is looking like it might end soon as well, so I've been trying to keep her company.
However the problem is I've pretty much fallen in love with this girl....
Like I said above, she's an amazing girl, and I don't have any intention of leaving my current GF for her, but I'm worried that this could cause issues in both my relationship with 21F GF, and my friendship with 20F friend.....
Is there any advice people can give me on how to lessen how I feel for 20F without having to avoid her or completely put her out of my life?
TL;DR: | Fallen in love with a girl-friend who isn't my GF, and asking for advice on how to lessen feelings for girl-friend. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [21/f] I think I have done irreversible damage to my relationship with my boyfriend [20/m]
POST: Over the last three weeks, I have felt very low level emotions towards my boyfriend. Happy when I should be joyful, sad when I should be distraught, which made me question our relationship. After talking it over with friends and family, I decided to raise the issue of muted emotions with my boyfriend. Naturally, he was hurt by the fact that I had doubts about whether I loved him or not but he spent the conversation, trying to understand what I meant and how exactly I felt. An hour into the conversation, I was crying and I realised that despite the muted feelings, I still loved him and didn't want to lose him. I told him so but I'm afraid that he may never forgive me for putting him through that hour. We have a mostly long-distance relationship, as we go to two different universities, so this conversation was done over the phone and over the internet. He is coming up to see me on Thursday for the weekend, and has agreed to talk to me tomorrow but honestly I don't know what to do. What if he doesn't forgive me? What I have ruined a genuinely wonderful relationship and hurt a man that I both love and respect? Please help...
TL;DR: | I told my boyfriend that I had doubts about loving him and discovered through the conversation that I do love him. I'm worried he might not forgive me for hurting him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My ex (F/22) is getting the wrong message from me (M/23) when I'm not sending anything. She's literally sitting next to me and I can't get her to leave. Help.
POST: Alright so here's the deal. Met this girl around November and we hit it off. Dated for a few months until she cheated on me. Whatever, it wasn't "true" love so I let it go. I was engaged before so I wasn't heartbroken here.
Shoot forward a few weeks and she messages me. "I'm so sorry...etc. etc." And I start hanging out with her again. I tell her the deal that I don't want to date but we can be friends. She starts calling me her boyfriend though, even though we don't kiss, hold hands or anything someone in a relationship would do.
I tell her that I don't feel that way and she disappears. We don't talk for weeks. Then one day I'm at work and I get a text "I have a surprise for you." I look up and she's standing right there and goes "surprise!"
Um...I didn't know what to do. So we talked and I didn't give any hint to dating. She left. But then today it's 10 am and I'm asleep (long night) but wake up to my phone ringing and my door being pounded on.
It's her. She wants to hang out. I tell her that I have to run some errands so she can tag along. We go do that and she starts making sexual comments like how she "can't wait to get me home." She literally grabbed my dick.
We get back and she throws herself at me. I push her away and say that isn't what I want...idk what I want. But really I do and it isn't having to deal with this nonsense. I don't want a relationship at all. Not just with her.
So she's sitting next to me in my house right now and won't leave. I'm too nice of a guy to figure out what to say without her going to the kitchen and grabbing a steak knife to slit my throat.
TL;DR: | Crazy ex doesn't get the hint and keeps popping up without me asking. I'm too nice and she's not getting that I don't want a relationship. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [25M] feel completely humiliated to the point where it hurts. Involves my ex-gf of 3 years [24F]
POST: Quick background: My 5 best friends of 8 years slowly axed me from the group. They started leaving me out of stuff secretly, then outright harassing me. Blahblah I felt crushed and depressed.
I reached out to my old friend from one of my chem classes. Turns out the same thing happened to him recently. We connected and supported each other.
One year later, I introduce him to my then-gf of 3 years. Eventually it was obvious he had feelings for her (sent her flowers and stuff, my then-gf gave him her address). She told me about the flowers and said she was grossed out that he was hitting on her.
Now, my then-gf was the sweetest, nicest, and as cliche as it is, innocent girl I've ever known. Not a partyer, drinker, smoker, none of that. Very sheltered go to school go home kind of girl. So, naturally I was just like "pft, ok, plenty of guys have hit on her and I trust her so this is whatever."
My friend goes off the grid though so I can't contact him.
A week later she dumps me, gets with him the next week and they already start to have intercourse. (I know this because 2 weeks later she contacts me and starts begging for me to take her back)
**Help me.** It's not even rage anymore. I feel nothing but raw humiliation and it hurts to breathe. I feel like I was completely fooled by two people I totally trusted, and above all I feel ....*dominated*, I guess, by him. I feel like his bitch. I keep having thoughts of him fucking her and I can't control it. My self-confidence is zero and...I don't know, it's just an awful feeling.
Anyone have encouraging words/advice?
TL;DR: | Completely trusted my then-gf. Friend starts hitting on her and eventually succeeds in stealing her. I feel robbed, humiliated, and dominated. Please help me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26 M] with the girl I've been dating [22 F] for a month, I am a superficial asshole
POST: Hey Reddit,
I've been dating this girl for a month now. She's great : smart, funny, good in bed, etc. She's very beautiful also, but she's a little bit chubby. I know she wants something more serious (she told me), but I'm not sure because I'm a superficial asshole and I can't get past her weight. She's not even that chubby. Just a bit. I try to imagine what other people would think if I date her more seriously.
At the same time, I've really been enjoying being single and I do not feel ready to be in a serious relationship. I've been getting attention from other girls and I like it.
Anyway, I feel bad. I like her, but I think she deserves someone better than me.
TL;DR: | I've been dating a girl for a month. I am a superficial asshole and I'm not sure if I want something serious with her because she's a little bit chubby. I'm stupid. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Any advice on how to tell my mom I'm (20f) moving out?
POST: Hey reddit. I made this throw away account because I'm in serious need of some advice.
I'm a 20-year-old female who is going to school and living with my mom and grandma. I have an incredible bond with my family. I live in a glorious part of my state. I love it here not only for my friends, but there's also awesome things to do here.
My grandma owns the house I currently live in. Recently, she put it on the market (taxes are way too high here, the only negative aspect) and would like to move an hour and a half away. My mom is moving along with her. I'm simply refusing to move. I mean, where they're moving to is a nice area. Close to the shore and everything. But chances are, if I move with them, I'll constantly be making that drive to where my friends are. I'm on the hunt for some cheap places (I found a few actually) and I'd love to snatch one up). I'm currently looking for a job, and I have one that I applied for and will most likely get. I also have about $8k saved up in the bank so if I have money issues, I have a little bit to fall back on. It's not the best plan, but hey. I know a few people who have been in my position and they're doing well on their own.
The problem here: My mom will blow her top when I tell her I don't want to move with them. Is there a safe way to approach this? I'm absolutely terrified to tell her. I'm freaking out. I have 2 months to get everything together, which in my opinion is plenty of time. Obviously, I would help my family pack and get everything together. I'm not a shitty daughter. It's the least I can do for them. I just don't want to move away from the area.
TL;DR: | My family is selling the house. My relationship with my mom is really strong. How can I tell my mom I'm not moving with them without creating too much chaos? |
SUBREDDIT: r/needadvice
TITLE: Construction next door from 6am-10am: Can we do anything about this or do we have to deal with it?
POST: Someone decided to buy the house next door, tear it down and rebuild a new house. Because of that we have had workers in and out of the property, building everyday at God knows what in the morning, but don't bother to work on it during the day so the job can get done faster and they can leave my sleep schedule the hell alone.
I know it's not the workers fault, so I don't want to take it out on them or confront them, they can't do anything about being scheduled, I assume. I don't know much about construction, but is there anything I can do about the noise? Every day it's *bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang* and the houses are super close together, it sounds like they're working in the bedroom. I keep waking up with headaches that last all day.
TL;DR: | Can I do anything about being woken up to incredibly loud banging early in the morning, which causes headaches all day because of construction. Can we complain about this to someone or is it just something we have to deal with? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: How do I know when to quit?
POST: So I am almost done with my third year of college studying 3D modeling, animation, etc. But I'm not very good at it. Most of my classmates are better and I don't put in too much time outside of class towards getting better. I have never been artistic and I kind of chose the major on a whim. I feel like I don't belong in this major but I'm almost done. Along with that in my life I've had issues with finishing things I've started. So I don't know if I'm scared or I actually want to quit and if that would be the best decision. People always say to follow your passion, but I don't know what my passion is. My biggest hobby has always been Video Games but I'm in a major based around making them and I still want to quit. I just don't know what to do with my life anymore, I don't want to waste my entire college career and I really don't want to end up working at a 7-11 for the rest of life because I regret quitting my major. Does anyone have any advice to help me?
TL;DR: | I don't know if I want to quit my major because I'm scared or just because I actually want to quit. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Is it worth for me (26M) to forgive my husband (35m)?
POST: Well...this is a quite long post, I didn't see anywhere that I couldn't X-POST, so, my story can be read [here] (X-POST from relationships).
He told me it was all online, he never actually met anyone, and he's trying to get back with me since this happened, everyday, all day. I'm not sure if I believe him or not, since my trust was completely broken, and I think everything he tells me is a lie. My heart aches so much and I can't stop thinking about our marriage. I really love him, and that's why I'm thinking about trying again, but I'm not sure how is it even possible.
Could you guys help me, please? Is it worth forgiving? Is it really possible to rebuild trust? If so, how?
TL;DR: | Lost trust in my husband, says he loves me and is desperate to be with me, but I'm not sure if it's worth forgiving. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by going to the supermarket
POST: Long time lurker, first time poster. Hi, reddit! :)
Anyways. On to the f*** up. Yes, this happened today for those who want to know.
So. I went to the supermarket with my mum today. For some reason, I have always had a rather loud voice and you can probably always hear me. I'm standing with my mum buying grapes, and we're talking about how my sister doesn't have a jobs and how she refuses to get jobs in dead end establishments (a direct quote from her, as I was standing there I even did the quote fingers thing) when all of a sudden, a regular looking dude comes over and starts laying into me, ranting that he's been a lawyer for 15 years and he started in a supermarket himself, and how I'm young and immature and shouldn't be allowed out of my house. Mum quickly left and I was stranded being abused by this angry dude.
TL;DR: | Quoted my sister in a supermarket, made a lawyer dude mad. Will never leave my house ever again due to pure shame and just make memes in my basement. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Is it weird for me [M24] to ask a girl [F25]s friend if she's into me at all, or even looking to date?
POST: So there's this girl. I see her almost every day at the dog park, and we've hung out a few times. But she's different. I can usually read people somewhat well, but I've got nothing on her. I've wanted to make my feelings more known, but I keep second guessing myself because I'm not sure what's going on with her. I'd also really hate to lose her as a friend if it went badly.
Would it be weird to ask one of her friends if she's said anything about me, or if she's even looking to date at all? I know she's been single for a while, and isn't seeing anyone right now. The whole asking thing feels really middle school, so I'm not sure about that either.
TL;DR: | Like a girl, no idea if she's into me like that, should I ask one of her friends for advice? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: The CATastrophe (Me M/28 Her F/26)
POST: Hey all - here's the situation. I really dislike cats. My wife really likes them. Married 5+ years now. My wife has put me through quite a bit of crap in these years, to include flying the coop and leaving me to raise our son alone for 6 months. Despite this, I decided to try to give her another chance provided she stay on her medication. I was sort of hoping maybe she would be less selfish now.... Since she has come back, I've doing very well financially (new job, big raise yay), so I purchased a very nice new home and I like to keep it that way. She decides she wants a cat, I tell her over and over I do not want a cat. What does she do? She gets one anyway. I did my best to tolerate it, but I can't stand it. It has awful smelling crap that manages to permeate a large area of the house (She's tried many expensive brands of food), it tracks litter everywhere (which she rarely notices to vacuum), it sits on our kitchen table (where we eat!) gets fur all over the couch. I work a demanding work schedule, on top of being enrolled in full time courses. When I come home I want to relax. I've had enough of this thing, but now I'm the bad guy for making her get rid of it when I never wanted it in the first place. I do feel somewhat bad, but should I? Logically I feel like I'm in the right here. She hates frogs, her getting a cat is akin to me going out and buying an aquarium of frogs. I think I've given more than enough in this relationship to have my wishes honored. My line of thinking is had she listened to me in the first place and never got it, she wouldn't have to go through getting rid of it (Which she hasn't done yet btw)
TL;DR: | I said not cat, she got a cat, I still do not like cats and want it gone. Am I being that unreasonable? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I can't get over a girl I met in high school
POST: I met this girl in the tenth grade and we became good friends in the classes we sat in together. Outside of class we weren't too close (different friend groups). Eventually we got closer and closer and by the end of grade 12, we were pretty close friends. Now, she's had a boyfriend through all of this who happens to be my friend. I try hard not to think about her anymore but here I am, in second year university, writing this at 3:30 AM because I had a dream about her. I try not to think about her as much as I do but I can't help myself. It hurts a lot. I should explain more.
1) She knows I have feelings for her but she's been with the same dude for years (drunkenly told her a few years back)
2) We went to the same uni, I took the year off so I haven't seen her in a while
3) I try so much to just forget it but then these dreams happen and now I can't
She's different. Or at least my mind keeps convincing me she is. I think so much about her and my dreams revolve around us being in a relationship. It's torture. I need to stop seeing her like that.
TL;DR: | Met a girl, been friends for years, drunkendly told her I like her 3 years ago and I still think about her |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: [USA] hypothetical question about fair use/copyrights
POST: First of all, this is a hypothetical question, so if this isn't allowed just let me know and I'll delete this straight away. I need this information for a project in my engineering class.
I have to come up with an app that my group and I could theoretically make and earn money off of. My group decided on an app where you would discuss live events (tv shows as they air, sporting events, etc). Could we use sporting events such as NFL games without written consent from the leagues?
All I've been able to find was the NFL.com terms and conditions, which state that "Any other use, including for any commercial purposes, is strictly prohibited without our express prior written consent."
This doesn't sound promising, but at the same time there are a ton of websites dedicated to talking about the nfl, many of which use adds. I doubt all of those got written consent from the nfl.
TL;DR: | Can you legally make money off an app that discusses sporting events, or would that get blocked by copyrights or something? |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Splitting cable bill with "couple" roommates.
POST: im at my wits end with this problem and i thought maybe it would be best to get an outside opinion on the matter. Here are the facts.
I live with three other people in a house two of which are in a relationshipship and share a room/tv and the other as the owner of the property. We have four boxes all together, one in each room as well as a "community" cable box in the living room. I originally agreed to pay $50 a month considering it was split evenly among the other roommates.That was untill he started letting us know the full amount due i had put two and two together to find out i was paying 1/3 of the bill.
I mentioned it to the homeowner that it isnt fair that we pay a third just because the "couple" we live with shared a tv/room and that cable should be split evenly. He then divides it and they pay it for that first month but this month they are saying they arent willing to pay "double" (in their eyes) because they share a tv.
Our bill was $195 this month and they (not me) came to the agreement of the couple paying $75 and me and the other roomate to pay $60 each.
So tell me what would you do? Pay it or cut the cord?
TL;DR: | I live with three roommates, two are a couple and believe that they should only pay for a third (combined) because they share a tv, despite having a community cable box in living room. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by getting Windows 10
POST: I can't even blame any Microsoft bug for this like /u/corarius did in his own TIFU, because I'm a class-A idiot.
I got too excited, didn't even bother noticing that my soulmate of an external hard drive was full and that I hadn't bothered to back up all my new shit (never being this naive again)
Fast forward to keeping Win10 to happen and my computer decides to do a double take and FUCKING WIPE ITS SHIT OFF AND CRASH HARDER THAN MH370.
I freak out and do a reboot staring at the black screen with a white wheel rotating for about 20 minutes (might as well have gotten a mac if I wanted to see a wheel rotate until the end of time) and then I'm back to the Welcome to Windows screen for Win8.1.
Long story short, 80gigs of pictures, 120gigs of music, 750+ movies and all my carefully curated TV shows all vanished into thin cyber air. I cried, and then I cried some more, and then I went all Chris Brown on my PC and punched the shit out of it. Now I'm PC-less, window-less, media-less, and pretty much point-less with no monies to get another PC till next months' paycheck.
###
TL;DR: | Fucked up installing windows 10, computer reset, I beat the shit out of it and now I'm too broke to get a new one. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [30/f] likes me but says she's too old for me [24/m]
POST: I've met this girl at work and we've been friends since day one (about 1.5 years ago). There has always been playful flirting from the beginning but just recently we got an influx of work where we are direct partners. Things got a little bit more aggressive in terms of flirting and opening up about our feelings for each other. I like her a lot and she likes me too. I've put in a lot of effort to show my seriousness about each other, but she still considers the age a big deal breaker. She told me if only I were a little older because she's looking for candidates for possible marriage and children.
I can't say that I am 100% for marriage and children right now but I wouldn't be against it with her. I'm not sure what else I can do to make her give me a chance.
TL;DR: | Coworker has mutual feelings for each other but won't consider me as a serious dating type due to younger age. |
SUBREDDIT: r/needadvice
TITLE: About to be homeless again, trying to find alternatives and advice
POST: Almost 2 years ago, me and my girlfriend moved out on our own. We lost that apartment because she lost her job and I Was the only one working. We stayed with a friend for a couple weeks and moved to Oregon to stay with her families friends. We left there, my girlfriend went to Indiana for a few months and I came back to Minnesota.
Eventually my girlfriend came back, and we moved into her Grandparents house with her mom so all of us could save money and get back on her own. My girlfriend was lucky enough to get a job but I haven't been able to land one in the 6-7 months we've been here. At first, her grandmother told my girlfriends mom that we could stay there for free so we could get our lives back in order, now she's demanding $800 a month, with only 2 people working and trying to save money.
Having to pay $800 a month wouldn't be bad, except that her mom is moving out in March,and leaving us here so there would only be ONE of us to pay almost a grand every month.
If we can't pay her grandma that money every month, then we'll be kicked out. The only way that we'll be able to move out is if we have a couple thousand saved up, we have a co-signer for the apartment that's willing to help when it's necessary but we can't even put a fucking deposit down because her grandmother is sucking all our money.
The only choice we have no is the military, and according to a friend, the're being way more picky about who joins, and the way my shoulder is right now I wouldn't be able to join. I just need some kind of advice on what the fuck to do, I was couch surfing for months at a time and I just want to be stable.
TL;DR: | My girlfriend is the only one working, and I haven't had any luck with a job.Me and my girlfriend are close to being homeless again and the military is out of the question for me. What the fuck do we do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me (40f) dumped by him (37m) via email - only 2 months but still feel gutted
POST: Met a guy on OKC - was not immediately smitten (super bad breath, weird teeth). But over email and more dates, I started to really like him.
After a month, we made it "official" and also slept together. We were seeing each other 1-2 times a week.
We are both serious introverts, but him more than me.
Two weekends ago we took a day trip and during it he said, "I'm really close to the l-word". I thought it was soon, but sweet.
Saturday we did dinner and a movie and I slept over. We chatted back and forth on email and made dinner plans for tonight.
This morning he sent me two "normal" mails at 9am. And at 11am, a mail saying he's not ready for a relationship, he values his "alone" time too much, and it's too hard to be "on" when he's around me.
I was surprised - how do you do that quick of an about face?
I'm not usually prone to becoming attached to people, and I feel stupid for letting myself get attached to him enough that I'm really upset by this.
I guess I just wanted to vent and maybe get feedback.
TL;DR: | 2 months dating, 2 weeks ago he wanted to say "the-l word", dumped me over email this morning. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Work Drama- I cannot take it anymore.
POST: We moved our physical office about a year ago. Offices on the outside, cubes on the inside. My boss' office was across from me, but I sat couched between 2 different departments. The only other cube dwellers in my department were six cubes down - and on the other side of the 'farm'. We moved and we are now all grouped together.
In the new place we are in a pod. The coworker that used to sit on the other side of the farm, now sits right behind me. Everything is drama. Work?! OMG. Someone asked you do something! OMG. Someone threw a monkey wrench in your plan (and this happens a LOT) - OMFG THE WORLD IS ENDING.
I lost two hours of work today to her freaking out about shit behind me. She isn't quiet, she often directs commentary at me, and its really really disruptive. She takes all work super personal, when frankly, its not, its right or its wrong. Get it right, or don't. If you miss something, you missed it. Move on, don't do it again.
I don't want to start shit in the pod, because that'll just make it even MORE uncomfortable, but I absolutely need her to stop. I couldn't concentrate, and I couldn't figure out what to do first because of the interruptions.
I have tried headphones. She just talks until you pay attention to her.
There's no peace. There's definitely no privacy but I can live without it, I guess, but - its effecting my ability to do my own work.
So, I guess that's all background
TL;DR: | Any advice on how to deal with people that are chronically blow things out of proportion and take everything personally-- and effectively explain what you need to do without it all just blowing up into a total disaster?! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: M [19] with my girlfriend F [19] made out with a guy the day we began dating, and never told me until 8 months later.
POST: My girlfriend who I've been dating for the past 8 months, which I've had a good stable relationship with, made out with another guy the day we began dating and waited until last night to tell me. She seemed quite upset about it, although should I be mad that she lied to me about it for the last 8 months, or should I move on and forget about it. I do love her, but because of this makes me think she might do something like this again and me already being a bit insecure makes this situation even worse. I also don't have any tolerance for cheating.
If she would have told me the day she did it, or a week or two after, I probably would have broken things off. But now that we've been together for the last 8 months in a good relationship I don't want to break things off, I just lost a lot of trust in her for that.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend F [19] made out with another guy the day we began dating, and told me 8 months later. Should I be mad, or move on? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26 M] with my coworker's [50 F]daughter [24 F] went on a date but just want to be friends, how to do it without it backfiring at work?
POST: I broke up with my ex-girlfriend about 6 months ago and we were together for five years. Recently I have been feeling pressured into dating again by my family and I was set up with my co-worker's (Sara)daughter Jess.
I have already met her a few times when I was with my ex and we got on fine so when Sara offered to set me up with Jess I decided to be polite and said yes. It didn't help that my own mother, who is good friends with Sara got involved.
The date went fine and I have talked on the phone with Jess a few times as well but I feel like I'm just not ready to date anyone at the moment and also I'm not attracted to her. It doesn't help that Jess is coming on a bit strong and texting me about 20 times a day (she has even admitted that in the texts that she knows she is coming strong). How do I let her down gently and not upset her or her mother while at work? Do I wait until I see her again or try and hint at it in a message?
TL;DR: | Pressured on date to be polite even though not ready emotionally see someone, how do I avoid fallout with my co-worker and her daughter? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Advice needed in choosing a college... some complications
POST: Hi r/Advice!
Im currently a college student at small liberal arts college in New England (1900 students). Long story short, I don't like it. The community is centered around the whims of the sports teams, the location is bad, and I don't feel proud to be attending the school (something thats very important to me).
So I decided to apply to transfer. There are two schools in this story, Kenyon and Tufts.
last year when I was applying to colleges in the first place, I applied ED to Tufts. Its a well ranked school with a good size student body. Right near a cool city (Boston), and would provide me with lots of opportunity. However, I really liked the liberal arts education I am receiving at my current college and Im scared that the education at Tufts will not be the same.
When I visited Kenyon I fell in love with it. Coming from a college I didn't like, Kenyon had a lot of the things that I though were missing in my college career. Not only that, but my major of choice seems like it would be more focused, interesting, and better academically than at Tufts. I also really loved the size and liberal arts education that my previous school provided me with. Its proud of itself, beautiful, and the administration is in tune with whats best for the students and the college.
To complicate things, my girlfriend goes to Kenyon. We have been dating for almost 2 years now, our relationship is ridiculously great and I love her a great deal. She would love for me to come to Kenyon, and I believe it would work out if I did. Additionally I feel that even if we did end up breaking up during college, I wont regret coming to Kenyon because I fell in love with it as a school independent of her. I would not be attending because of her.
Heres my fear:
I'm afraid of going to Kenyon and being known as "[Girlfriends] boyfriend." I want to be independent and have friends that know me for me, and not as [girl's] boyfriend.
So what should I do?
TL;DR: | I want to go to either Kenyon or Tufts. Afraid of being known as [Girlfriend's] boyfriend if I go to Kenyon, although it is my first choice. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25 M/F] been with my SO [23 M/F] for 1 year, she's the love of my life but should I break up with her to mitigate our potential pain?
POST: Context: we had an abortion last February, we're both reeling from it and both regret the decision (based on no where to live, no steady income, were dating a month prior, both families were against having it etc).
She feels sad about it everyday which makes me sadder everyday. My SO is now baby obsessed and wants to have one ASAP (well 6 in all, but I've now bartered down to 4!). I want to have a family with her (she is the one) but not yet. She wants one now and it's all she ever talks about.
She's recently got a good job in another country (I'm still residing in London) and I'm trying my hardest to get a job out there to be there with her. The problem is she's putting so much pressure on me getting a high paying job (wants me to be on 100,000+ by the time I'm 30). It's not helping that her current job is recruitment and she looks through hundreds of young big shots everyday (I'm a free lancer).
Is she being unrealistic, or am I being an underachiever? Obviously I'm busting a nut to achieve the goal, but there's a possibility it won't happen, and if it doesn't she'll feel as if she's wasted years of her life on me, and subsequently resent me for delaying her dream. When it comes up in conversation she says: "You can do it, I know you can, I believe in you". Do I let her down gently and go down the less intense road with a girl who's not as money and baby obsessed, or just put the blinkers on and go for it. Each road is a gamble, because I may never find a love like her again, or I may end up making her unhappy and resenting me.
Every opinion is highly appreciated from you guys, because it's like a glitched up carnival loop in my head right now. Thanks for taking your time to read this.
TL;DR: | My SO wants me earning a lot of money very soon so we can have a family. I want to wait, she wants it ASAP. She's the love of my love, should I stay or just move on? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [17m] am still in love with her [17f]
POST: Hi everyone.
Where to begin? I met this girl about 2+ years ago. We got to talking and became extremely close. About 6 months into the friendship I realised I was in love with her. However, I was friend zoned pretty bad.
Things got worse, however, when she got together with someone who totally went against everything she said she looked for in a guy. Thats not the worst bit though.
That guy was my best friend who I constantly came to when I needed advice. He backstabbed me late last year and it ruined me. My grades went to shit and I became sort of reclusive (I have recovered in this aspect). I had a relationship that I was not emotionally invested in for five months to try and get over this but to no avail.
I even went as far as to 'forgive' my friend to try and convince myself I was over this, and witnessed how poorly he treats her when he was on the phone. (she requested to speak to me and we talked for about an hour... I wasn't sure if I'm looking too far into this but I thought that was a little weird. She asked me to sing her a goodnight song too.)
I'm still friends with the girl too, although it's starting to hurt again, because I honestly do think I would be better for her. And yes, I know that people will tell me I'm not, but hey, just an opinion which is slightly biased.
What do I do? She and my 'friend' have been together for eight months now and sometimes it feels like she uses him for the physical relationship and me for the intellectual.
I should mention he lives in a different country and frequently tells me about how he likes other girls. She frequently tells me that she and him are 'running out of things to talk about', whereas that never happens when I talk to her (her words, not mine).
TL;DR: | I have been in love with this girl for two years. She dates my ex-best friend (she knows) and their (long distance) relationship is not the best. What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21m] been with [18f] for just over 2 years. She said shes not interested and wants a break.
POST: Hi so I was sensing problems in my relationship for a few weeks everytime id bring it up she would get annoyed and pretty much say everything is fine. She hadnt been treating me the same as she use to and seemed uncaring towards me. We talk a lot every day were like best friends. She finally said shes not interested right now and has other things to worry about and said she wants a break but said she still loves me and wants to be with me. So I was pretty torn up the first little while and tried talking to her about it a couple times which she gave little responce or answer to. I decided to stop talking to her till shes ready after that. 2 weeks went by. Every now and then she would text me or something and talk for a little then just stop or say she doesnt want to talk anymore and that would hurt really bad. I went off on her about a week ago saying I cant take her doing that and it wasnt fair to me so I said dont talk to me till youre ready to work things out. She said ok and she loves me. Its been 1 week of no talking at all and about 23 days since it started.
I dont know what to think about all this. She claims multiple times she loves me and wants to be with me but how can that be true if she isnt talking to me or well anything with me. I try to communicate problems and concerns to her and ussually when I do they get ignored or shrugged off. I told her that she was using the other things she had to worry about as an exscuse because well she always told me everything and talked to me about everything and when I said that shed just say im done talking. She just doesnt tell me anything. The worst part is wondering if shes ever going to contact me or if its over. I feel like if she missed me she would have contacted me.
Sorry if this sounds all scattered and messed up. Any advice would be appreciated.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend and I have been on break for 3 weeks says she loves me and wants to be with me though. I feel like im missing something or theres something shes not telling me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [19M] friends [18-23 M/F] never seem to want to spend time with me.
POST: Recently I've been seeing less and less of my friends. We're all busy people, so I understand this, yet every time I try to organise something for us to do together, people always back out. Recently I was going to have a film night at my place, and all of my main friends - about 7 people - said they would come. On the day, only a few hours before they were meant to arrive, every single person had to cancel, leaving on my own and feeling bad. Some had legitimate reasons - aching after a long day at work, for example. Others had simply forgotten and had made other plans.
I've decided that I would stop being the organiser. I always have to make the effort to see them. And it's now been 5 days since I stopped making an effort and not once has one of them asked to do something, or tried to talk to me. I feel worthless now.
Is this a sign I need to make new friends? Or should I just keep trying?
TL;DR: | friends never want to do stuff. I stopped organising things and now nobody bothers with me either. Feeling crap. New friends? |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: I think my friend with benefits told me he loved me during sex today?!
POST: I have a long term fwb. We've been banging at least twice a week for almost a year now. We were very clear from the beginning that it was just about sex and only sex. Honestly, I was looking for more of a fuck buddy - that is, I didn't even care if we were friends or not, I just needed regular sex. But we did become friends and have more in common than either of us could have ever guessed. We talk everyday. About friend things. We hardly ever talk about sex unless it was particularly amazing or we're trying to schedule a hook up time. We don't hang out ever. He comes over, we fuck, he leaves.
He's great in bed. I've told him 100 times that his dirty talk is my favorite part. He just talks the whole time and it turns me on so much. Today he came over and we got right to it in missionary, as always. As soon as he slipped inside me, I swear he said "I love you" so quietly into my ear. (His mouth was right beside my ear.) I was already moaning from pleasure and didn't know what to do or say, so I just kept moaning and pretended like I didn't hear him. I put it out of my mind and sex was great, as usual. Then...he came inside me. He never does that because he's terrified of babies (I have an iud, realistically, we are fine). When he pulled out, his legs were shaking (not normal for him).
One of his favorite lines during sex is "I love fucking you" so I keep trying to tell myself that's what he said and I just heard it wrong because I was moaning. I really don't think so though.
TL;DR: | Fwb may have told me he loves me during sex. Or I may have just been hearing things. Haaalp! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Why does my (19 M) girlfriend (23 F) question my masculinity?
POST: My girlfriend keeps making comments like "I don't think of you as a man" and similar comments like that. It's making me feel sad and a bit hurt that she's calling my masculinity into question. I asked her about it and she gave me a few reasons that I don't feel are very good
* I generally don't cook my food and buy it pre-prepared or go to a restaurant
I make around 3x the average salary where I live so it isn't like it's a cost issue or anything. I don't see how this makes me any less of a man.
* My apartment is cluttered
It is pretty cluttered but I'm in the process of cleaning it up. I still don't get why it makes me unmanly.
* I get startled by loud unexpected noises (ex: firecracker going off 10-15 feet from me that I didn't notice) and I shake afterwards from the adrenaline
She also called me cowardly for this. I don't see it I mean it's a natural reaction.
I don't get why she's questioning me as a man. I work out (pretty muscley), I treat her right, open doors for her, carry her bags/stuff, able to solve conflicts, walk her home every time we go out, treat her, take her out on nice dates, etc. I think I'm more sensitive than the average guy (tend to cry easier, express my emotions more), could that be part of it?
I'm a bit conflicted between trying to appear more manly to her and calling her out on being unreasonable. I'm not sure if she IS being unreasonable. Is she being reasonable here? What should I do?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend says I'm not a real man because I eat from restaurants/buy prepared food as opposed to cooking, my apartment is cluttered, and I get startled by loud noises. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [18F] feel abandoned and ignored by my boyfriend [19M]. Am I being crazy?
POST: We've been together for 2.5 years. Things are getting really rocky. I'm 80% sure I want out of the relationship, but he always convinces me to come back. We've tried talking things out, taking a break, getting space and nothing has worked. Every little thing he does pisses me off. It's as if he's trying to make me hate him.
I told him a month ago that it made me uncomfortable when he makes sarcastic remarks about being single after he made a status that said something to the effect of "Bring on the ladies!". I deleted him as a friend after that, and we just never got around to adding each other again. So I remembered and brought it up and he added me. Then I saw that he said something like "I cleaned out my car, my backseat is ready for babes!" Like FUCK!!! We JUST had a fight about that! And he went and did it again! I don't know if he forgot (unlikely), if he's doing this just to spite me, or if he just doesn't understand how much it hurts me. But even if he doesn't get it, shouldn't he still respect that it hurts me and stop doing it?
Now, we've been in situations like this before. He'll do something hurtful, I'll tell him, he'll think it's harmless. I've caught him hiding statuses from me before. He even deleted messages from a girl we almost had a threesome with. He said that he does this because "he doesn't like my reactions". He's trying to predict the way I'll respond to situations. And even though sometimes he's right about how I would react, it's still hurtful. I don't think he should be able to hide things that he knows would hurt me, even if he doesn't think I should feel that way. Is he justified?
TL;DR: | My boyfriend and I have a disagreement, need your help to settle it. Should he be able to hide things I don't like because he disagrees with my not liking it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: I'm too embarrassed to let my boyfriend see me naked :(
POST: Okay so I'm 19 and have been officially dating this guy for about a month. He is literally my dream guy - caring, genuine, funny, understanding, etc. and I know he is not a judgmental person at all. BUT, I am literally petrified to let him see me completely naked. I'm not fat but I am in college so that I mean I don't have flat abs or anything but the thing I am most embarrassed about are my breasts. When I was 17 I got a breast reduction so now I have scars around my boobs that are fading a little but are definitely noticeable. He has questioned before why I always try to cover myself up so much but I just feel like Frankenstein. I know my boyfriend really, really likes me but it almost makes it worse because I feel like he puts me on a pedestal and once he sees me like this he will be really disappointed. I'm so frustrated that I am so concerned with this but I just don't know how to go about this situation without feeling so embarrassed.
TL;DR: | I have breast reduction scars and I'm too afraid to show my boyfriend. Am I overreacting? How would you react if you were my boyfriend? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (24/M) had unprotected sex before meeting my current girlfriend (25/F).
POST: Alright, I'm currently freaking out a little bit and I'd like to know if I have good reason.
Before meeting my longtime gf about five years ago, I had unprotected sex with a one night stand (believe me, I know it is incredibly stupid). I had an STI test performed several months after, and then another about two years after the incident, both coming out clean. As a result, I never felt the need to bring this up with my current gf.
However, I was just recently reading up on STIs, and realized that the HPV virus cannot be tested for in men. Now I'm horrified that I may be carrying this dormant virus from my one night stand, since it is a highly prevalent STI, and have passed it on to my current gf, with whom I've had regular unprotected sex.
I'm absolutely mortified that I may have passed this infection to her, and she may develop cervical cancer as a result. What do I do? Should I tell her about my previous encounter so she can get tested? I read that, for women under 30, HPV usually goes away naturally, and that HPV testing is not typically recommended unless her pap smear shows irregular results.
Any advice on what to do here? I feel like a serious piece of shit for potentially having exposed my gf to an infection.
TL;DR: | I had unprotected sex previous to my current relationship, but got clear STI tests. Is it still possible I have passed on the HPV virus to my gf, and if so what should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [17 M] Have a long distance thing with a girl [16 F] and I am terrified of being hurt
POST: First off, thanks for taking the time to address this little issue which has been eating at me.
So I guess I'll get right into it, I have a long distance thing with a girl, and I'm very insecure. I don't have any reason to be insecure, but I can't help but feel these feelings, and it's been eating and eating at me for awhile, and I don't want it to lead to resentment, or hurt my relationship with a girl I truly have a connection with.
I guess I'm just afraid of infidelity, terrified actually. I've seen way too many horror stories, and I guess that may have warped my view quite a bit. I trust this girl completely, and I want to see where this relationship can go, as I will be seeing her in the span of half a year or so, if this relationship really hits it off.
I guess it just terrifies me because she's very pretty, and recently she has been going out a bit, and it makes me uneasy. She doesn't drink often, but she did drink on New Years Eve, and I trust her completely sober, but I've seen how girls act drunk at parties, and I've also seen how drunk guys act, and honestly that thought terrifies me, even if I trust her completely.
On the other hand, I don't think I should have any fear, as it's not like she's just started partying, and she's told me she is a virgin, and she doesn't seem like the type if girl that would fool around, bit I guess alcohol scares me on how it clouds judgement.
Basically, I just wanted to voice my fears, and ask you guys, am I stupid and going to be hurt? Are my concerns legitimate? Or is my own insecurity going to end up hurting our relationship and I should just let myself trust this girl?
TL;DR: | Trust girl in long distance completely, tells me she's loyal, still a virgin, yet I still have insecurities about infidelity, especially when she goes out and drinks, are my concerns at all legitament? |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: How does one break the emotional connection to food?
POST: I am fairly active, 5'6", around 160 lbs and I want to trim down A LOT. I am what you would call "curvy" with a pretty stocky lower half and a smaller torso.
I have always had some sort of issue with eating. I either never ate enough or ate too much. The phrase "emotional eating" has always been confusing to me because for me, it's not necessarily that I think eating a slice of pizza (or three) was going to make me *feel* better, it was just a thing that people did so I followed the narrative. The same with sweets or other "bad" foods. If I was really upset (after a serious break-up for example), I would use feeling physically full to distract from my unhappiness.
I know the whole point is to burn more calories than you consume, but HOW? How do you break whatever psychological addiction and emotional connection you have with food? Do I go on a juice cleanse to get the notion of having to EAT be less prominent in my mind? (As in, retrain myself to equate food more as a fuel source and less as my shoulder to cry on). Do I just...significantly reduce my caloric intake? Whaaaaat do I dooooooooooooo?
TL;DR: | I've always eaten too little or too much and even though I'm active, I struggle with losing weight. Help. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, what are some situations you've experienced where things went from promising to absolutely awful? I'll go first.
POST: So, My siblings and I had thrown a house party and towards the end of a long night I'm headed upstairs to bed. As I'm coming up the stairs I see some people closing the door to my bedroom. I walk in and two girls (never met these girls in my life) are getting into my bed, so I tell them "this is my room, and thats my bed, you can either scoot over, or get out". They didnt leave, so I was thinking this could get interesting, I'm getting into bed with 2 good looking girls who I've never met before. So i turn off the lights and hop into bed. 30 minutes pass by(anxiously cant sleep) and the chick in the middle starts movin around and starts to get up so i figure shes gotta go to the bathroom or something so i get out of her way and then she's standing bedside drops her pants (alright this is getting interesting) then she hops up on my desk and starts taking a leak. At this point i'm in shock and I dont know what to do. She then hops off the desk and passes right back out on my bean bag, no pants on. I get up, walk out of my room into my brothers room, he stops talking to his friend thinking im coming to bitch about the noise and I just say "that bitch just pissed on my desk" he starts laughing hysterically and I still had piss on my desk, not happy. I go back to my room, wake her up and told her "you just pissed on my desk, you need to clean it up". And then she just straight up denies it! So I start causing a huge scene, I get her the paper towels and 409 for her and then leave her to clean it up. I saw her walking around the house so i rush up t see if she cleaned it up and she just threw my clean clothes on it! WTF! So then I just flatout kicked her and her friends out and had to clean the mess up myself. I was pretty upset
TL;DR: | Thought I was in for threesome, bitch pissed on my desk, threw my clean clothes on it, kicked her out. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [Update] My (25/f) long distance boyfriend (26/m) of 3 years is breaking up with me today. His friend (26/m) just spilled the beans of his plan and that he cheated.
POST: [Original](
Thanks for everyone who gave me advice. I didn't even get a phone call. I got an email saying that he no longer wanted to continue the relationship. I replied basically saying that that's fine. His gig was up. I was getting tested for STD's. As should he. He said he wants to continue with the break up but would like to talk. I asked him not to contact me again.
As for his best friend/roommate and his girlfriend, I Skyped with them. Thanked them immensely. He is actually going to move out at the end of the year because she is uncomfortable with the Craigslist hoochies coming over. As for their friendship, he is distancing himself after he moves out.
TL;DR: | He didn't admit to cheating or even call. Sent me an email breaking things off. I told him I knew what was up and I'm getting tested. Went no contact. |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: I had a terrible date on Valentine's Day, but that wasn't the worst part. I came home to the worst part.
POST: My roommate and I celebrated Valentine's Day evening by drinking and watching a movie. Drinking a lot. I remember throwing up in the bathroom. Then I remember him in my bed with his hands in my underwear. I remember removing his hands, and them moving to my breasts, then back to my underwear when I removed them again. I remember feeling physically tired of fighting and thinking "Ah, fuck it. I never liked that boob anyway."
Reddit, I know it's not as bad as many offmychest posts, but I feel like shit. I told him I appreciated his help and sent him back to his own room, but when he came back asking how I was feeling I said "sober and groped," and explained that I didn't remember anything since the bathroom. He's apologized four times so far, and I'm feeling bad because I know he feels shitty I'm not being a source of comfort to him. But I just want to take a million showers, except that I don't want to see myself naked. How do I get past this?
P.S. The date earlier was with another guy, and was wonderfully awful.
TL;DR: | He said God brought us together and I could live in his (real) fallout shelter when the nuclear bombs hit. Then he gave me a nondisclosure agreement to sign. Really nice guy, though. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: What should I [25M] do about my drunk-driving roommate [25M]?
POST: My roommate and I have been close friends since high school and he's a decent guy. His job is lax (social media marketing) and they often drink at work or, if not, go out to bars. At least once per week he comes home at least 4 beers deep. At least twice per week he's definitely over the legal limit.
I went for a beer run with one of his friends on New Years Eve and she told me, without me bringing it up, that they all know and hate the fact that he drunk drives. First time meeting them and that came out within 5 minutes alone together. My other roommate has noticed as well.
Okay, so we all know he drunk drives. I've called him out on it before. I grew up with an alcoholic parent who is now in a nursing home because of their drinking, so I'm sick of this shit if I'm honest.
I feel like I need to drive the point home, almost intervention-style. I'm also not his dad, and part of me feels like it's not my responsibility, especially since I'm never there when he makes the decision to drive.
So, I'm wondering if you guys have had to deal with a similar situation. I've already talked to him about it multiple times, apparently to no avail. Is there a line between yelling and washing my hands of the situation? What could I say to him that would be an effective way to change his behavior?
TL;DR: | My roommate drives home drunk. I'd like to let him know that what he is doing is wrong in a way that has the highest chance of changing his behavior. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Boyfriend [21M] is Mad at Me [21F] for leaving our Dog without water
POST: He was working today from early in the morning, I left the house with friends at about 9am and my I got home at about 2pm, when I left I left the dog outside on our balcony, but I forgot to put his water bowl out there. My boyfriend got home at 3pm and when he saw that the dog had no water he got so angry at me, and now we're not talking eachother and I don't know what to do. He said something along the lines of what if that was our baby, and that kind of offended me because he's insulting what my ability as a parent would be over forgetting to give out dog water.. What can I do? We've been dating for 4 years btw, and our dog is a 2 year old Golden Retriever
TL;DR: | My boyfriend is mad at me for leaving our dog out without water and he compared it to a baby, which upset me |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23F] with my boyfriend [22M] of 1 year, how do I help him to understand I want more affection in our relationship?
POST: My boyfriend and I have a great relationship, we have only been together for a little over a year but we have been friends for 10 years so we are very comfortable around each other.
In most respects he is a great boyfriend and I really enjoy our time together, however sometimes I feel as if I am more 'one of the boys' than his girlfriend. Its as if he forgets that I would like kisses and hugs sometimes instead of trying to give me a dead arm or playing xbox with him. Now, I do like doing 'boy' things with him and just generally hanging out but every time I want some affection or tenderness, I have to be the one to initiate it and sometimes after the fifth time of saying 'Can I have a hug?/Want to spoon?/Give me a kiss?' it seems that the romance isn't really there.
I have no doubt that he loves me because he can be very loving and sweet when he wants to be and this isn't a recent change. He has always been like this to a certain degree but maybe now I am noticing it more because it has started to grate on me a little. He has said to me before that he finds it hard to express his feelings sometimes.
I haven't broached this with him directly, apart from dropping a few hints here and there which I'm not sure are really getting through. We are a very laid back couple and not ones for serious conversations so I was just looking for some help on how to speak to him about this/how to word it, without making it a big 'sit down and discuss this with me' moment. I don't want him to think that he has done anything wrong or that this is a big deal breaker in our relationship, I just want to be treated a little bit more like a girlfriend and not one of the lads.
TL;DR: | boyfriend treats me like one of the lads but I would like more affection, how do I discuss this with him? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: So I punched an elderly person..is it wrong or morally acceptable in some situations?
POST: Ok first off I'm a quiet person, I don't usually get angry.
Earlier today I was walking home and had to cross a road that leads to the main bus station. As the lights went red I started to walk across, and a bus randomly pulled off and nearly hit me (it completely disregarded the red light, not looking if I was crossing.) So out of shock/anger I stuck my finger up at the driver and carried on. 5 minutes later an elderly dude grabbed me by the arms and threatened to take me to the police station infront of hundreds of others in the town centre. I kept telling him to get off but he insisted, so I elbowed him as hard as I could in the stomach and he fell down winded as I ran off.
The sad part is I know he only saw me flip off the driver and I'm guessing he was sick of 'kids these days.' Although I guess he's lucky it was my pathetic self - a lot of people round here would of seriously hurt him.
I still can't shake the feeling of guilt though yet I did what I deemed necessary.
TL;DR: | elbowed an elderly man who tried to take me to the police station for flipping off a douchebag bus driver. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [19/m] in love with [20/f] friend of ~5 years. Looking for advice/opinions (and maybe some words of encouragement)
POST: I've known this girl for about 6.5 years and we've been in a tight group of friends for the past 5. Sadly, because of the tightness of this group of 8 friends, I really don't get to hang out with her alone much. She also goes to university in a different state now so I only get to see her 2 or 3 times a year for just a few days.
Our mutual friends say she is awkward with guys and none of them have a clue if she thinks of me more than a friend or not. She's so difficult to read, but I've never connected with a girl like I have with her. We have all the same interests and can converse naturally for hours (which our friends have noted). How can I begin to determine if she is interested? Is it worth pursuing while the relationship would still be long distance or should I gamble waiting until we both are back in our hometowns after college? Could making a move be detrimental to our friendship or the friendship of the group as a whole?
I'm afraid because even when I try to not be attracted to her I can't. And if I have to wait, how can I convince myself to date other women (I would like some experience/intimacy whilst in college) when I can't stop feeling guilty as though I am lying to them or something.
TL;DR: | I'm in love with a friend who lives far away, can't tell what she thinks, and don't really get attracted to other girls because my feelings for her are so strong. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Student loan payments while traveling/moving
POST: I have been budgeting to backpack europe this fall for 2 months. My student loan payments start in the middle of june. My predicament:
I have to choose a student loan payment soon here. I have the choice of doing a level payment of $340 a month for 10 years or have it graduated and start at $235 a month and increase every 2 years. It would take 6 years to get to the point where I'd pay more than the level payment. It would also cost $1900 more over 10 years to do that but would reduce financial stress now and allow me to travel and move easier within the first 4 years of payments. What do you recommend?
TL;DR: | I want to continue to travel and move out of my current state next summer. Do I pay less in student loans for the next 4 years and end up paying $1900 more over 10 years to reduce financial stress? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: There's a possibility that I just inherited a fortune, but I need your help Reddit! (Artistic NSFW)
POST: My Grandmother passed away, she was 86 years old, I flew out from Canada to South Africa to sort some legal things out. I learned that I've inherited some of her things, these include two paintings which I've been told were acquired by my late Grandfather in Rome, Italy sometime in the early 20th Century (1910's - 1930's).
Not being an art or history buff I don't really know any more information about these paintings. I have, however, taken these two paintings to be evaluated by Bonhams (apparently a big evaluator) but they refused to tell me the names of the artists and went on to state that these paintings were of no commercial value and aimed at the 'tourist industry'.
With all due respect to them, I'd really like a second opinion on this, are there any Redditors here that 'know art' that can take a look at pictures of these paintings and tell me who they think the artists are. I cannot, for the life of me, identify the scribble that the artist left as a signature.
I'd be happy with your opinion on this, even if the paintings are of no value.
Here's the pics, one overall view of the painting and then a zoomed in pic of the artist name:
TL;DR: | Inherited two paintings which may or may not be worth a small fortune but need help identifying the artist. Aka looking for artists names. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 M] is thinking about dumping my girlfriend [20 F] of 8 months when I love her.
POST: So I've been dating my girlfriend for 8 months and I can not shake this feeling that we need to break up. The relationship has been pretty smooth sailing except for two fights I could really think of. I really do love her and could see myself marrying her. However, she is thinking of moving away for a fresh start and for now does not plan on moving with me as of right now since she says we are not ready to move in together. Which I do not think I am ready to move in with her I just do not want to lose her. She tells me she loves me a decent amount but the reasons she wants to move is family reasons. She has not had the greatest upbringing which I will not get into with respect to her but she just thinks she needs to start somewhere else over.
We both have been in bad moods lately too. I have not been in a good mood because of me dealing with the passing of my father and thinking of this. She has not because she feels she is becoming stuck at a restaurant server job with no degree as well as the family issues. Which I told her she could change having the no degree problem being so young.
I just think it would be logical to break up if she does not see me moving with her as of now. I also want to keep going in case that changes which I do not know if it will or not. Which terrifies me.
TL;DR: | My girlfriend is planning on moving and doesn't want to move with me just yet. should I break up with her now since long distance does not work? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [20/m] how old is too old?
POST: Hey guys, first time posting on this subreddit.
I never been in a relationship before but the past year i met this girl, where we begin our friendship and got to know eachother a little bit.
but recently we talked and spend some time together with friends and just having fun. nothing romantic.
But the more i look at this girl, the more i grow a 'thing' for her.
She's sweet, smart, beautiful and is a very nice person.
I dont know if she has the same feeling for me, so that remain to be seen.
here is the 'problem' though, she is 24yo. i am soon to be 21, so we are about 3 to 4 years apart. i am raised in a family where we believe that men must find younger women (with the support of 'women mature faster').
now, like i said i never been in a relationship before but i have female friends and i got to know some of them very well, but this one is different and i really like her. now some of you may say that i am desperate for a girlfriend or something along those line, but i know i am a very conscious person and i am in no rush for a relationship.
i missed my shots before with the ladies (im a pretty shy guy) and i just dont feel like missing this one.
What should i do? how old is too old? how often in today's society that being in a relationship with older women is look down upon?
TL;DR: | I am 20yo, soon to be 21, and i met a 24yo very sweet girl. what should i do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/askwomenadvice
TITLE: My boyfriend is going to meet up with a girl he's been in love with for years and I am so jealous... how do I get over this?
POST: I am 21 and he is 19, we have been dating for 6 months.
He loved this girl all through high school but she would never talk to him and turned down his advances. Since then he has gotten in shape and everybody is noticing how handsome he is.
A mutual friend of him and this girl messaged him on Facebook and suggested the 3 of them hang out.
He described to me last time they hung out, over a year ago when he wasn't in such great shape, and she wore a very skimpy, flattering outfit (a little white crop top and shorts that fit her curves) and high heels to go see a movie. He said that all the guys in the theater were looking at her.
The rest of our night together after this Facebook conversation basically revolved around how he was so infatuated with her and he even said that if she made a move on him he would basically have trouble resisting. She is basically better than me in every way, she is prettier, longer hair (a fetish of his), in better shape, more conventionally attractive and likes to wear (his words) slutty clothes. She is also the same background as him and I am not. We were lying in bed and he told me that he is so conflicted.
I'm going back and forth between anger, guilt, jealousy, sadness... Am I overreacting? He told me that they are going to hug because he hugs all his female friends, but she's not even a friend, they haven't even spoken in over a year!! He has never been with anybody but me sexually so I know he is wondering what it would be like with her. I keep thinking about them hugging and I feel so sad, like he's going to be smelling her hair and touching her skin and she will be in his arms. I know that mutual friend will be there too but I don't think it makes a difference. Neither the girl nor the mutual friend know that he's dating me. I feel so low. Help please
TL;DR: | BF is going to meet up with a girl he has loved for years and mutual friend of theirs and I'm dying of jealousy. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (25M) can't get a good read on this girl (23F)
POST: Here's why I don't know whether I can read women or if its just some women.
There's this girl who I cannot get a read on at all. I've known her for awhile and became good friends with her as time went on. We talked about everything and got very flirty with each other. I pretty much say fuck it and decide to ask her out and she says no.
We were still friends and then instead of isolating herself from me after this, she started talking to me even more and we got even closer as friends. Still had some flirty moments together, sometimes even more so than before.
Then suddenly she stopped talking to me and would only text me every once in a while. I didn't do anything (that I know of) that would make her not talk to me as much as we used to.
Then one night she decides to text me asking why I wasn't where she was that night and then she proceeded to drunk text me for the rest of the night.
I really don't know how to read this. She's not someone who craves attention at all and she tries to avoid drama in her life for the most part. I feel like this isn't an attention grab but I don't know if its something where she's just having fun or if she actually does like me after all this time.
How would you read this and am I bad at reading this or do I have reason to be confused?
TL;DR: | can't get good read on girl, won't go out, she got closer to me after the rejection, suddenly doesn't talk as much, started drunk texting me out of the blue. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Built a computer for my Aunt/Uncle and somehow it knows that it is an unlicensed copy of windows. Help?
POST: First off: **Yes I know I am a no good, cheap, dirtbag that needs to rot in hell for using an unlicensed version in the first place. But they were very tight on money.**
Now that we have that cleared up, let's hope that one of you could possibly help me. I am running a copy of Windows 7 Ultimate 64-bit that I removed the activation software using Remove WAT, and it has worked great for me. I have had this computer for quite a few months now with no problems whatsoever. I should also mention that my friend has the same one on his computer, no problems either. My Aunt and uncle on the other hand, have other problems. I installed the *exact* same copy on their computer that I built for them, but according to my aunt, they get warnings saying that they are using an unlicensed copy of windows. According to her, they come up pretty frequently. I did the same procedure to remove the whole activation software, but I don't know what to do now. Does anyone know of a way to "fix" this without reinstalling the whole OS again? I don't know the long-term consequences of those warnings or what could possibly come of them, but I don't want to find out. Please help Reddit!
TL;DR: | Unlicensed copy of windows with activation software removed is still recognized as unlicensed and has frequent warnings popping up. Need a fix. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: New landlord and her family are completely insane.
POST: Hey guys,
So, I recently moved into a new room as my lease was up at my last place. The landlord said that rent will be paid weekly and there will be no lease so that I can leave if I need to, and there won't be any problems. She did ask when I moved in if my girlfriend would be staying here with me and I told her no - and she cited that she was worried about noise. For the last few days my girlfriend has been here only to spend the night (I recognize this isn't what was agreed upon but we made a serious effort to make almost no noise, and she admitted she could not even hear us) and this caused her to go ballistic this morning and tell her bouncer boyfriend to throw my stuff out.
Anyway, when I got home from work her boyfriend told me I needed to pay $50 now for my girlfriend being there these last few days or he would throw all of my stuff to the curb. I called my local PD's non-emergency line and they confirmed that they can't do that and I can call 911 if they do.
With that said, I'm only 18 and her boyfriend has been threatening me basically since I moved in. How can I tell them I'm not comfortable with being bullied into paying them more money than I can afford? I want to move out of here anyway, they are all up until 1 am and then back up at 3 am and it's impossible to sleep, and they have gone through my stuff while I'm gone. I want to find a new place but need 30 days to do so - which if they evicted me legally I could find one.
How would you suggest handling this without getting killed?
Thank you.
TL;DR: | Getting bullied into paying more money than agreed upon to live at my residence and am being threatened with having all of my stuff thrown out immediately following nonpayment. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Anyone else have a falling out with a friend because of his/her girl/boyfriend?
POST: I'll go first
My friend, or I guess I could say former friend now, became a total dickwad after he started dating some girl. I'd also like to note that we are in our mid-twenties, so this isn't some high-school bullshit.
He was very kind and fun guy before his girlfriend. He fit perfectly with our social clique of like minded individuals. He was an atheist, loved video/board games, and similar movies. After about of month of dating this girl, he started to change.
We first noticed the first changes when he started abandoning our bi-weekly game night. After hanging with him and his girlfriend at a coffee shop, we found out she has a great disdain for video/board games and called us "silly children" and idiots for playing them. This got some people in our group rather steamed and they told her off right there and then. He said never to talk about him playing board/video games around her again, like he was trying to hide who he was from her.
I continued to hang out with him whenever I could, because I thought he was a cool guy. I told him I didn't care much for his girlfriend and he said that was alright. I kept trying to keep my friendship with him up, but then he started going to church with his girlfriend. He kept harassing me for being an atheist whenever his girlfriend was present.
He would often play it off as something that we did when we were foolish teens but now that were older and wiser we should realize not to be that "stupid". I felt a little insulted, but I passed it off and still continued to hang out with him. Trying constantly to steer our discussion away from religion, video games, politics, etc.
It became too much of a chore. Whenever we are out, he'd constantly scoff at me for being "immature" and not acting like an adult for acting the way we used to always act. I eventually told him to fuck off and called him a phoney.
TL;DR: | Friend started dating a girl, after a year his personality did a complete 180 and he claims it had nothing to do with his girlfriend and that he just "grew up" |
SUBREDDIT: r/Dogtraining
TITLE: My 10 month old pup just peed on my 6 yr old doggo' head.
POST: As the title says, my 10 month old female mixed breed just came up and peed on my 6 year old male pbt.
They have a really great relationship! So I'm so confused by this obvious sign of disrespect!
The worst part was Diesel acted like he felt humiliated. Ears back, very meek looking. He didn't react at all except, to just be chill like he usually is. Except a little sad looking.
Diesel established in the beginning that he was the elder dog of the house (hate to use alpha but I hope you know what I mean ) and they played by diesels way with Molly growing to be a very chill, very playful with Diesel pup. We have a very harmonious vibe in our house with our dogs. So what could this mean? Why would she just plop up to him, squat on his head and pee on him?
To picture she's 52 lbs and Diesel is 91. So it was really quite a sight.
Please help! What could this behavior mean and do I need to react/how?
TL;DR: | 10 month old female pees on more dominant males (6y) head. Male reacts meek in response. Is it disrespect? How to address? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My girlfriend [21F] of 4 months is going abroad and gave me [23M] permission to sleep with other girls?
POST: I'll try to keep this short. Throwaway because I'm usually a lurker.
I've been dating my girlfriend for 4 months. She's leaving in 2 weeks to spend six weeks abroad for a job opportunity. She'll be returning in early August. Recently, she asked if I ever want to sleep with other girls. I answered honestly and said yes. She then told me she would give me 'permission' to sleep with other girls while she is away. She there are only two 'rules': I need to tell her about it and any girl I sleep with needs to be hotter than her. She has since brought it up a couple more times and it seems like she really wants me to be with other women!
This is so confusing to me. If she liked me the way she says she does, why would she want me to sleep with someone else? I asked her if she was doing this because she wanted to hook up with other guys while she was away, but she said no because casual sex disgusts her. (I believe this, we were in a relationship for two months before she would have sex with me). I really cannot fathom why she seems so enthusiastic about this idea.
I'm wondering if this is a natural end point in our relationship. I just graduated from college and I'm looking for employment in my field, which doesn't have many job openings where we live currently. I could possibly move for work when my lease ends in August. But it seems unwise to end a relationship because of something that might happen.
What should I do? I don't even know if I'll want to sleep with anyone else, but the fact that she is encouraging it is troublesome. And I feel like if I did she would use it against me in the future. We've only been dating for 4 months but we like each other a lot.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend wants me to sleep with other girls while she's away for six weeks. Wondering if it's a trap or a sign that our relationship should end. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by spilling a shampoo bottle and being born in the wrong country.
POST: One part of this story happened today, the other has been developing during the last twenty years.
Today was not a good day. I had a crappy day at work, then I had the highlight of my day, having lunch with my SO which is always nice, and after that I went to the ophthalmologist to what was supposed to be my last appointment for a while. Turned out that he had to put an eyepatch to help my eye recover faster from a corneal ulcer that developed after I used therapeutic contact lenses because I had keratitis punctata -I wish I was making this shit up-, so... I have to wear this thing for 24h.
I came to my house, angry and annoyed because of the eyepatch, and as I was looking for something I desperately need for work, and after I searched inside my closet without any luck, I closed the closet door a bit too harsh, and of course, karma kicked in. The closet door hit a shampoo bottle I had in there, the bottle cap opened and the content spread all over the closet floor.
Sounds messy but not like a big deal, right? Well, wrong.
Because I was born in one of the worst countries to be living in right now, and I actually still live here because I don't have enough $ to buy a plane ticket, I had to spend a whole hour picking up the spilled shampoo to put it back in the bottle, because I can not afford to buy a new one since there's none to be found in this country, unless you're lucky and get into a 5 to 10 hour line, or you buy it at a ridiculous high price in the black market.
And, because that wasn't enough, I tried to close one of the drawers of my nightstand and the thing broke.
So much for living in a so-called paradise.
TL;DR: | I was born in the wrong country, years later I can't buy shampoo, I have an eyepatch and a broken drawer. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My cousin [27yo M] has a Fiancée[20something yo F] who seems to be taking complete advantage of him.
POST: I apologize, this is my first post and it may fail to meet your standards.
So, my cousin has a fiancée for about 4 years now. He's recently confided in me that their relationship is not quite as it seems. Apparently they are very open, as in, they sleep with whoever they want, whenever they want. But they do it under their own roof! I mean, She might bring a man over while he's home, and she'll bang him while he's in another room. Apparently it's common practice for them, and he enjoys it so much he'll jerk off just outside the bedroom door as she fucks a random guy in their own bed.
Here's a list of red flags that have appeared after they got engaged. For the record, they were a normal couple up until then.
-After they got engaged, she asked him to delete all FB photos of them together and to deny they were a couple. Then request that they can fuck whoever they want.
-She tells all their mutual friends that they are only room mates. He complies without any hesitation.
-He's very broke, and has been saving for a trip to japan. She ends up taking his japan fund and going herself to fuck random dudes.
-She moves across the country(Canada) to work and earns quite a lot of money. Doing so, she abandons the apartment they share forcing him to pay 800 dollars rent on his own, yet asks him for monthly weekly.
-Also, cousin seems to be a mental case with severe alpha male syndrome. What do I do?
TL;DR: | Cousin [27 M] seems to be being taken advantage of by fiancée[20something F]. Should I intervene? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25 M] with my friend [25 F], emotionally exhausted from holding my feelings back
POST: I first met this friend at work. Slowly we got to know each other at work and over text, and I learned what an amazing person she is. She was so easy to talk to in an open and honest way, so smart, so beautiful. Our conversations never ventured into the realm of romantic relationships.
After talking for a while, she eventually admitted that she had developed a crush on me. But as she admitted this, she explained she was currently in a committed relationship. I was the first to make her doubt this serious relationship with her boyfriend, and she asked that I give her space to distance herself from these new feelings. She wanted to remain loyal to her partner.
I completely understood. I never admitted that I too developed feelings for her. I said I only ever wanted to be a friend. I figured being honest about my feelings would only make things more difficult for her, so I kept quiet and agreed to give her space.
Now, we have resumed talking - as just friends. I told myself that, and I figured the residual feelings I had for her would go away.
But the more we talk, the more I become enamored with her. I am ever more convinced that she is just the one I've been looking for. When I talk to her, it almost becomes a chore holding my feelings back because we so openly talk about everything...and yet I can't say the thing screaming loudest in my head because I don't want to lose her as a friend. It is emotionally exhausting.
Is there anyway I can be honest and make this friendship work?
TL;DR: | told girl in a relationship that I only want to be friends, even though we had mutual feelings for each other. Now hiding feelings is taking an emotional toll on me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: I can't stop thinking about my ex and wanting him back; I feel crazy.
POST: I met a guy from school online, we talked for a month, and officially dated for one month -- the duration of us was 2 months.
We got super close super fast, and the breakup caught me off guard. He cited not having enough time to see or talk to me due to hectic schedules as why he ended it, not due to a loss of feelings or fight or abuse or cheating.
We didn't talk after the breakup for a few days, but then we talked again; he wanted to be friends, but it hurt me too much. About a week after that I told him I couldn't keep talking to someone who I had intense feelings for (we both said we were starting to love each other) that I could never have again, and the no-contact period has been going on a few weeks.
I still see him around campus and it makes me sad to not talk or have that relationship we had that I thought was going so well. We talked about future plans and got along great and he ended it suddenly.
I still have feelings for him and miss him and just want him back. I'm giving myself time to heal so I don't want to talk to him about it, but I literally cannot get him out of my brain. Should I try to reach out in a few weeks and get him back and how? or let go? Am I crazy? HELP!
TL;DR: | Ex broke up with me, we aren't talking, I can't get him out of my head and I can't stop wanting to get back together with him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Too strong early on? Scumbag Brain...
POST: I (25M) may be over-thinking, so bear with me.
I've known the woman (24F) for just over a year, but we went on our first date about two weeks ago. She's an aide at a sports physical therapy office where I was the client.
The first date went incredibly well. The night ended in a long hug, told me that she had a great time when I walked her to her door, then again 20 minutes later in a text.
We exchanged casual texts several times throughout the holidays (she went home to visit family and I didn't send extra texts if she didn't respond). I called on New Year's to wish her a happy New Year and then the following evening to set up the second date which we had tentatively set for this weekend. I left a brief message but haven't gotten a reply, even though she's typically very responsive.
Plan of action is to do nothing. I figure that the ball is in her court and there's nothing I can do about it, right? My chief concern is that I've come on too strong with post first date communication and really don't want to miss a great connection as a result.
Second possibility, and what reason is telling me, is that it's too soon to be worried anyway. Scumbag brain.
TL;DR: | May have communicated too often after the first date. Am I doing the right thing by not saying anything and is there another potential recovery option? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: My Husband May Have Chatted Others In The Beginning?
POST: So, My husband and I started dating in July of 2012. The dating was long distance, but clearly it was a closed relationship.
The distance was needed due to him being Active Army, and stationed in another state. In those starting months he was kind of odd about know could know about our relationship. He wouldn't allow it on Facebook, and said it was about keeping his private life, simply that. Private. Fine. I understand. Time goes by, and well, as I have stated, we are now married.
The last two weeks we went back home to visit our parents and just got back to our base tonight. I thought I would be nice and let him go to a party tonight and stay back, unpacking our bags. Just a way for him to get guy time in, and me to have me time.
At the bottom of our carry-on, I found a note from an old (supposed) girlfriend of his. Funny thing is, it is dated for September of 2012. Late into September of 2012.
So, my question is, am I in the right to be mad about this? I mean, it was early in our relationship and was long ago now, but damn. It hurts knowing the man I love hid this from me, and kind of built our relationship on lies. What should I do about this? I feel betrayed.
TL;DR: | Married, found out about early on cheating. Has not happened since. Still mad it happened. What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My girlfriend just cheated one me, I'm crushed, what should I do?
POST: I'm an exchange exchange student studying abroad for 8 months, my girlfriend and I decided to stay together while I was away before I left, and up until now things had been going pretty well. She came out to visit me last year, and I was home over Christmas so I could spend time with her. I go home in 2 weeks for good, and she tells me today that she slept with someone else at a party. I don't know what to do, I'm totally crushed.
The story was that they were both really drunk and one thing led to another... It tears me apart to think about it... I don't know what I should do. On one hand she was honest enough to tell me that it happened and apologised for it, but on the other hand if I actually want things to work out with this girl, how do I know I can trust her?
Part of me things, well i've only got a couple of weeks left here, lets just run riot and enjoy it, and part of me is thinking that it's only a couple of weeks til I get back so I should just wait and try and make it work. I'm crazy about this girl, I just don't know what I should do in this situation... My mind feels like a wet cake.
I dont know if its worse or better that I know the guy that she cheated with...
I'm still relatively new to reddit, and haven't asked for advice before, but I don't really know who else to turn to.
Thanks in advance.
TL;DR: | I've been abroad for 8 months studying, my girlfriend cheated on me with 2 weeks left to go and now I'm a wreck. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by putting tire-shine spray onto my bicycle
POST: This happened a few weeks ago. I was preparing my bicycle for a 20-mile ride on a local bike/jogging trail. I was doing the usual, oiling the chain, checking the tire pressure, and on my shelf of car-care stuff there was an aerosol can of tire shine. I said "what the heck" and sprayed some onto both wheels. Later the next day when I was on the bike trail, I was approaching a steep downhill at over 15MPH (according to my little bike odometer) and when I pulled the brake handles, I didn't slow down. Apparently when I sprayed the tire shiner, some of it got onto that little metal ring that the brake pad presses on to stop the bike. So basically, my brake was covered in tire-shine oil and it couldn't grip the wheel to stop the bike.
TL;DR: | I sprayed tire shine on my bicycle wheels, didn't realize I got it on my brakes, and when going downhill I couldn't stop because my brakes had tire shining oil all over them. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [24F] am constantly fighting for my SO [25M] of 7 years attention. I'm getting tired and I don't know what to do.
POST: I no longer feel appreciated by my husband. He's currently addicted with this card game Yugioh (I feel stupid just writing this out..). He literally spends all of his time playing; whether it's online or with friends. He gets one day off a week and he spends it at the card shop playing all day. If he's not playing, then he's reading about techniques to play the stupid game. We go out to eat, and he's on the phone looking up stuff. I used to go with him when he would play on his day off, but I've gotten tired of just sitting there doing nothing when I just want his attention on his one day off. I've told him countless times that I feel like he would rather play than spend time with me. I tell him that I feel like he doesn't even love me anymore, but he assures me that he still loves me very much.
He told me three weeks ago that he will quit playing cold turkey this Saturday after a tournament. So the last few weeks I haven't seen him at all since he's been practicing and prepping his deck for his final hoorah. I don't think it's fair that he can just tell me he's quitting and then ignore me until his "deadline". I'm his wife, and I deserve some of his time. I'm tired of fighting for his attention, and it's getting to the point that we don't even fight anymore because I'm giving up. I don't know what to do.. am I wrong for feeling neglected? Should I just suck it up and support him in something that he loves to do? I guess I'm just sad.. all I want is his attention. I don't feel like I'm asking for very much.
TL;DR: | I'm tired of begging for my husband's attention. I don't know if I'm right or wrong in wanting him to choose me over something else that he enjoys. |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: unexpected phone interview - salary expectation set too low help
POST: An employer surprised me with a phone interview today, it went pretty well and I was asked to go meet them for another interview tomorrow.
My problem is, they asked me what my salary expectation is and, failed to get them to drop a number first (I tried "industry standard", "company standard", etc. and they kept trying to get a real number out of me and I got nervous and didn't want to displease them) I burst out the first decent sounding number that popped into my head: "The last job I had paid about $20/hr" and almost immediately regretted it. This was how much I was paid during my internship-turned-temporary-job in high school (new university grad now) and it was a really good pay back then.
The position is an office job and I know as a new grad I probably wouldn't get paid much anyways. But is there any way I can express something like "oh that $20/hr was what I got paid when I was in High School, I am an university graduate and I want more"
$20/hr is about 38K, I would like to push it to the $50k range. Why didn't I just say some thing like that during my interview? Because I didn't expect them to talk money so soon and I was nervous dumb.
TL;DR: | panicked and set the salary bar too low during surprise phone interview, follow-up interview tomorrow - can I push it up or am I stuck with it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My boyfriend (23) decided he wanted to ask to sleep with other people.
POST: As in the title, he's 23 and I am 18. We've been together for about ten months and everything was going alright. Last night he decided he wanted to ask that before December (I don't see why December is a factor of this) if we could both sleep with two different people each.
I told him that I wouldn't sleep with another guy. Ever. I told him if he wants to fuck another chick so bad, then just do it.
He proceeded to tell me that a chick 'wants in his pants' and I'm sitting here at the moment dumbstruck that he would say that to me.
Now, backstory, I have some self-esteem issues. Don't think I'm good enough, good looking enough, etc. So I'm just kind of confused why he would tell me someone wants to sleep with him.
I don't really know what the heck to do or if this is a sign that he doesn't want this relationship anymore. (I can't really tell.) He's talked about marriage, went through all that crap. And now this.
So. Is it wrong I told him to just go do whatever? Just to get him to stop talking about it?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend (23) wants to sleep with other people. I, (18), gave him 'permission' even though it bothers the hell out of me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Abusive Ex-BF is now pursuing a mutual friend who is a new single mother...do I tell her the truth about our relationship or stay out of their business?
POST: I'm 26 F, he's 29 M, let's call him J. Long story short, after 10 months of living together, me supporting him, him emotionally abusing me, and finally, a confrontation that had us getting into a literal fist fight (which I won), we broke up and I kicked him out. Despite the fact one of his best friends, D, broke up the fight and can testify to everything that happened (for example, he struck me first, and I was defending myself; this wasn't the first time this had happened), the ex-BF tells everyone lies about me hitting him first and how I'm a cold-hearted bitch for breaking his heart. I'm unconcerned with this, as everyone who really matters knows the truth, but one of the people he's lied to in this manner is a mutual friend of ours, E, who recently had a baby.
This mutual friend is very gentle, kind, and sweet, but makes awful life decisions: both her baby daddy and her last boyfriend were terrible to her and she still pines after the last boyfriend consistently. Last night, through D, I learned that J intends to pursue E for a relationship.
I'm not jealous by any means (I am seeing a wonderful man, and J has hit-and-quit at least 6 women since our breakup three months ago), but simply concerned for E and her baby's welfare. I couldn't live with myself if I learned something had happened to them at his hands. I know how J gets when frustrated, and there's nothing on this planet quite as frustrating as a new baby. Also, I fear E would just accept his behavior like she did with her other BFs, and put herself and her baby in danger because of her pathological need for male attention.
So Reddit, what do I do? Do I tell her, and risk her not believing me? Or do I just let this go, and let her make her own mistakes?
TL;DR: | Abusive ex-BF is trying to pursue a young mother, but I'm worried for the mom and baby's welfare. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [18/f] My boyfriend (23/m) confided in me that he enjoys having sex with men
POST: When I first met my boyfriend in December 2013 we decided neither really wanted a serious relationship of any sorts and that we were both fine with casual dating (I had just broken up with my high school sweetheart; he had just graduated college and was "too focused on his career"). Casual dating to both of us really just meant hooking up and sexting. He confided in me about his occasional urges to sleep with men and visit glory holes to give head (which he had followed through on both numerous times). He also informed me that he has had sex with over two dozen people and casual encounters with numerous more. Not thinking he was going to be any sort of part of my life more than just a hook-up, I proceeded to tell my roommate; my roommate proceeded to tell everyone.
However, we began to talk constantly and really connected. We never ironed out our actual relationship status; resulting in me royally screwing up and sleeping with my ex-something he considered cheating, and something I did not (I was under the impression that "casual" did not mean "committed"). After a short break we defined our relationship and things went forward full force. I decided to tell my older brother about my new boyfriend and how I think he might really have a huge part of my future, and learned that my brother had already heard about him and his sexual preferences from some mutual friends. I feel so incredibly guilty that I have betrayed his trust twice in such a short period of time. I guess I just want to know if theres any chance of this working, if I should be concerned about his previous sexual exploits, and if (and possibly how) I should tell him that nearly everyone in my life knows about his sex life that he tries to keep private. I'm incredibly worried that he won't forgive me a second time, which I would understand, but I've honestly never felt so connected to someone before. I've known him for four months, and he's become my best friend. I would hate to lose him from my life.
TL;DR: | I broke my boyfriend's trust (before we were dating) by letting it slip that he enjoys sleeping with men. I have no clue how to tell him without him hating me. |
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