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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do people have multiple relationships? (M, 18)
POST: I'm (M, 18) and I have a girlfriend (M, 21).
She's my first girlfriend I've ever had and lost my first kiss to and everything else with. We've been dating for almost two years now. We're both very happy together.
We never really talked about her past but it was brought up recently. We had a long night talk about it and I discovered she's had 10+ boyfriends in the past.
I never really understood how people can have multiple relationships throughout their lives. I've never had any interest in anyone before her. And I don't think of any other woman to be with besides her.
I feel like if she and I were to go separate ways, I'd never have another love/like interest again. Is this normal?
I find it odd that people can do the same thing with multiple people thought their lives.
For example; Cuddling, kissing, or even having sex.
I'm not trying to bring anyone down or anything. I'm not slut shaming or trying to come off that way. I'm just really interested how a majority of the people can like have sex with one person and then they go separate ways and the person is able to have the same kind of connection with another. I feel like I'm the only one who thinks this way.
Isn't that a little redundant? I feel like it takes away the uniqueness you can have with a person because you've already given it out to all these different people.
I don't know. Maybe I'm subconsciously jealous? I may be rambling but I'm just curious if anyone else felt the same way.
TL;DR: | If in one relationship you kiss, cuddle, have sex etc. with the person and then go separate ways.. And then you have another relationship to experience these things again. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, I think I'm a victim of identity theft and possible insurance fraud
POST: a few months ago, i got a letter in the mail from an insurance company saying that i was in an auto accident in a nearby city, which was false. the letter was addressed to a made up first name with the same first initial, and my last name (and obviously to my exact address). i emailed the agent at the insurance company, and cc'd the insurance fraud division in my state. the fraud division never replied to this or any further emails.
i eventually heard back from the insurance agent, and she asked for me to scan and email back the letters that SHE had sent me (!). then the DMV sends me a letter saying that my license was about to be suspended because i was not responding to this accident report. well, not me exactly, but the fake me. i replied to the agent with the info, and shortly after, she replied with this:
> Hello,
Thank you for sending copies of the letters sent to you. We have checked our file and these letters were intended for a XYZ who was a driver involved in an accident with our insured. He provided this address (the ones on the letter) to our policy holder at the time of the accident. You may disregard these letters and we will update our claim file to reflect the address we have is incorrect.
Should you have any other questions, please contact us at the number below.
i then replied to the dmv and sent them the whole stack of correspondence, saying they had the wrong person, and i was suspecting possible identity / insurance fraud. the dmv sent back a letter in typical bureaucratic fashion, saying they would check their records to make sure they had the right info, and they would contact the other party, and mentioned nothing about the fraud or identity theft. shortly after, they sent another letter saying the party didn't respond, so this thing was off "my" record... for now.
here comes the good part: i get a letter from the dmv saying "my" vehicle was not registered, and it included the offending car's license plate, and the DRIVER'S LICENSE NUMBER. i was able to look up the plate, after discovering the smog check lookup in this [thread](
so, what's is going on here??
TL;DR: | got a false accident charge to my address and a fake name similar to mine, string of emails leads to dismissal, but now i have the car and license info of this "fake me" |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Want to ask a friend out for a date, hove no idea how.
POST: M[22] and F[20]
I've been trying to get over a breakup after a long term relationship (4+ years, some of that time spent as long distance) for 4-5 months now. The ex has already moved on, she met a new BF a few weeks after the breakup and they're still together. But that's another story.
I have this friend who went through a similar breakup several months before I did. She was a major source of support for me while I was going through with the whole breakup process... and I started to develop some deeper feelings for her.
At this point I've been arguing with myself over whether it's worth it or not to talk to her about something more serious, we've gotten much closer over the course of the past few months. I really like what we have as a friendship (she's close with my roommates and best friends, most of whom we've known many years) but I can't help thinking about what it would be like to be more than that.
Basically, what it comes down to is I can't determine if my attraction to her is just a reflex since she's been there for me the whole time, or a real emotion. I find her incredibly attractive, and we have a lot in common when it comes to interests and of course friends. She's so much more what I'm looking for compared to my ex.
TL;DR: | Coaxing myself out of a rough breakup, can't determine if friend is a new interest or just a rebound reflex. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: My (24F) boyfriend (28M) just got offered a job on the other side of the country.
POST: Hi Reddit,
My boyfriend just moved in with me last week. He has been in the middle of the application process to be hired with Border Patrol for some time now and I knew this going into our relationship. We've been together a little over a year (the BP process can take anywhere from 1-2yrs) but we both kind of shared the same philosophy that we would just enjoy whatever time we had together.
Well BP fell through about a month ago and in the past we had talked about how if it did fall through, he would try and apply to another location his job offers - he's a parole officer of sorts.
My boyfriend's lease ran up two weeks ago and we had agreed he would move in with me. Five days before he moved in, he got notice that an office in Santa Ana, CA was hiring. We live in Charlotte, NC. So he applied. Yesterday he got the offer. I am not in a financial place where I can afford to move, even though I would love to, and I'm also still in the middle of my lease.
He is not down to do long distance, even for a couple of months. He says he would love to take me with him if he could but we both know that's not a possibility. He also said with his whole life up in the air right now, he really needs to just focus on him. He has roughly seven weeks here left.
To say I am heartbroken, would be an understatement. I am so unbelievably sad and I don't know what to do. There's nothing really to do. I understand why he is taking the job offer, it's an AMAZING opportunity and as much as I don't want to understand, I do get having to do this alone. He just moved in, and of course part of me was relieved when BP didn't work out.
I think I just need some words of wisdom or something because I feel like I'm losing it. I know I shouldn't take this personally but I can't help but think "if he loved me enough, he would stay or wait for me". But life isn't a fairytale. Reddit, I feel broken.
TL;DR: | my bf is moving across the country for a job and I can't go so we're breaking up and I am heartbroken. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, am I a jerk?
POST: Driving to work today, a car in the left lane beeped at me. I glanced over, and the driver is gesticulating at me, making it clear that she wants to move to the right lane. There wasn't any car in front of me for a while, she could have moved over earlier. I started to slow down, then realized that she was doing the same, and we were both, at that point, travelling ten miles under the speed limit. I decided to just zip past so she could get in behind me, but didn't take into account the fact that other cars had started to pile up a bit behind us. She flashed her lights at me as I drove off into the distance. Should I have let her in?
TL;DR: | Slow car in left lane wanted to get over, and I was going to let them until I realized how slow they were going* |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: First job ever think my job is trying to screw me out of overtime
POST: So I'm not exactly sure what constitutes overtime, but my common sense tells me they are lying to me through their teeth. So I'm switching my work week from weekend to weekday, and whoever schedules has slipped up again by making me work both the old and new shift consecutively. They always mess up my shifts because I work overnight (I literally just proved they owed me $200 today for working Tuesdays). My old shift is Friday to Saturday, Saturday to Sunday, Sunday to Monday 11pm to 7am. My new shift will be Monday to Tuesday, Tuesday to Wednesday, Wednesday to Thursday 11pm to 7am. While asking me to work an extra Thursday this week they moved me to the new shift as well and gave me both shifts to work. So I am working 8 days consecutively Thursday to Thursday. I went in to get my missing paycheck and confirm this but she said its not overtime because it doesn't start from the beginning of our payroll. Which is Tuesday to Monday. So even though its a consecutive 8 days its 4 in the old week and 4 in the new week. Honestly I can handle one 8 day week its just that I'd rather make $15 instead of $10, and every bone in my body says to call horseshit on her line of thinking. Its just a simple building security job in New Jersey. If this was my last week with them I honestly wouldn't care but I'm saying this job isn't a lifeline, I still live with my dad and I just finished college I'm working more so because I should be and it's nice to have pocket change. If I am correct that government couldn't leave such a obvious flaw for employers to take advantage of how would I go about forcing them to comply with the law. I haven't met my union at all but I think one of my taxes is for one. So I doubt I just call 911 and report them lol. Thanks for any advice.
TL;DR: | Working 8 consecutive days this week by working old and new schedule. 64 hrs all together. Is that overtime even though it falls on two pay periods? New Jersey Law. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Had a one night stand, found out 3 days later he's engaged...do I tell his fiance who I don't know?
POST: The title basically says it all.
Throwaway account but here's some more detail...
Friday night a couple of girls and I [24f] went out to a local bar. This guy [28] approached me and was pursuing me the entire night - we ended up dancing for a bit, made out a little at the bar, then went on a walk. Hit it off some more at his place (lives behind the bar) and upon leaving he came home with me. Mind you, this has been the FIRST time I have EVER brought a guy home...not really relevant but I feel disgusted about it....the last thing I need is someone to judge me for it. ANYWAYS, Monday night (via Facebook) I found out he's engaged (since Dec 26th, 2011)! We live out of the country (been here since January 2012...so he proposed to her RIGHT before he left) from his Fiance so I have never met her or will never run into her...but I feel a responsibility to message her and tell her. If that were me, it would hurt like hell, but I would want to know before I married a cheater and liar.
I ended up messaging this guy on facebook telling him that I knew and was disgusted and that he owes it to his Fiance to tell her what happened, and if not I would. He texted me this morning asking if we can meet up and talk. Not sure what he has to say, but we'll see. It amazes me how EASY this was for him though...makes me sick to my stomach.
I've been on her side before - being cheated on - and it's awful. I think that's why I feel I have to tell this girl. Most of my friends agree but a few say stay out of it.
So reddit, what do you think? Any stories about telling the person or not telling them? How did it end up?
Note: If I would have known he was engaged I wouldn't even had THOUGHT about even DANCING with him....
TL;DR: | I [24f] had a one night stand with a guy [28m]...only to find out he's engaged. I am conflicted on whether or not to tell this girl. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Have you ever been in a 'manufactured' relationship? (where your partner thought you two met due to chance, but you really secretly set up the circumstances). I am in one now and it is a little weird. [Me:20M] [Her:20F] for about 2 months.
POST: So basically I knew about this girl from high school, and I always thought she was really attractive and very cute and had a cool personality. But we literally did not know each other at all. I just saw her around the school and found her facebook. I would check her page every once in a while to read her posts, I would masturbate to her pictures every once in a while. So I only knew her from her social media.
I saw that she started working at a retail store (from her facebook) so I applied for a job there too, got it, started chatting her up and now we are together. We're both having a really good time so far, but as far as she knows we just met by chance. But I had been stalking her facebook for like 2 years prior to us even talking face to face.
Has anybody else done anything like this? I feel a bit like a fucking serial killer or something. I don't think I can ever tell her that I was slightly obsessed with her for a couple years before we met. I'm pretty sure I am not a psychopath but I fucking feel like one. But I am really enjoying our relationship, she seems into me and I really like her. So is it wrong? I try not to think about it but it's kind of fucking with me.
TL;DR: | I got a job where a girl I fancied works in order to start a relationship with her and I succeeded, now I feel like I 'tricked' her a bit. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I'm pretty sick, getting used to a new medication, but I really want to finish this painting of Bradley Manning to help raise awareness of his confinement. Give me some inspiring words Reddit, please.
POST: I'm getting used to this medication called Metformin, (for PCOS) but it makes me really sick with vomiting and lethargy. I really want to get this painting done though, it is constantly bothering me when I am not working on it, but bearing the grueling nausea is distracting. I think it would help for me to read some encouraging words during breaks, so I thought I would ask reddit for a little peer support. It just helps in the creative process if someone knows you are making something, it is hard to keep the motivation when the only one expecting results is you (if anyone has read Art and Fear, it talks about this subject, if not it is a fantastic read).
TL;DR: | I need some peer support and encouragement to help me keep motivated and finish this painting, I would love it if you could offer some kind words :) |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by laughing at a business meeting
POST: So today I had a business meeting with reps. of a company we work with.Before the meeting happened the entire planing was via email and we never actually talked or seen each other, we agree to meet at this cafe and one of them informs his colleague he's gonna be late due to bad traffic (it's rainy as fuck today), so here I am sitting with the one who showed up and talking about possible joint projects - 15 minutes later a the other guy shows up ,shakes my hand and says "hey, my name is <irrelevant for the story>" sounds normal right? well fuck no! his voice sounds like Borat's and he also wears a grey suit, but I didn't laugh at this point..just a little chuckle, and now to the fuck up this Borat sounding guy says "nice"..alot..after about 6 times he said "nice" I couldn't help myself and burst into laughing...hysterically ..I mean tears in the eyes and shit, they both look at me like I'm insane and I go like "oh sorry, just several sleepless nights make me laugh alot"...they said "ok" but I think they know the truth.
TL;DR: | business meeting, the other guy has a "Borat" voice and says "nice" alot. made me laugh like a mad man |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Honeymoon backpacking and WWOOFing Thailand, Kolkata, Darjeeling, Cambodia, Laos & Malaysia for 6 months. Got any pro tips about travel in these areas? Hotel/bar/life recommendations?
POST: We're both teachers in Seoul at the moment, but our contract is up and our parents really want to see us get married. We were planning on doing a private ceremony in a temple in rural Thailand, but both of our Texas moms are rather traditional and want to see us hitched at home.
After the wedding in August and a brief vacation with both sets of parents, my (future) wife and I will fly to Thailand, dick around for 2 weeks on various beaches, then fly to Kolkata where we'll take the Toy Train up into Darjeeling. That trip will be 3 weeks. Then it's back to Bangkok, where we'll mosey around various WWOOFing opportunities (for those unfamiliar with the program, [check it out!] ). Between farming jobs, we'll hop the border to Cambodia/Laos/Malaysia as time allows. Then it's back home to Texas in February before returning to Korea to teach.
We're incredibly excited about this trip, and our typical M.O. is to stay off the beaten path. Less tourist resorts, more hole-in-the-wall gems. Any recommendations for raves or full-moon parties will probably fall on deaf ears. Of the places listed, we've only been to Thailand. The one that concerns me most is Kolkata, and maybe certain parts of Bangkok. If anyone's had great experiences, tales of warning or suggested routes, we'd love to hear them.
TL;DR: | I'm getting married and we're travelin' hard in SE Asia & India on a shoestring budget. Eating authentic amazing street food is top priority. Advice? Safety concerns? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Looking to rekindle my relationship with my teenage daughters. [M44, F16, F19]
POST: 44/M, I have two daughters from my first marriage that ended in 2006. I moved cross country in 2008 and I've really lost the fatherly relationship I had with my daughters. I still pay support for my younger daughter. No issues there. My older daughter is the Navy. After I moved visitation really dropped because of the distance between us. I last saw my daughters in June of 2011. We were all supposed to meet up this summer some time but the schedules just could not work. We talk pretty regularly through text and email but its very perfunctory.
This is all kind of complicated by the fact I remarried in 2009 and I have three kids with my second wife. Our kids are 3/m and 6mo/f and 6mo/f. Its quite a challenge to be a parent to such young kids and they have sort of become my life. I've started to feel awfully guilty about the deteriorating relationship with my older girls and I would love to do something to improve it.
I don't know if any redditors have any experience with a situation like this. I don't know where to go from here. I can't really travel to go see them because of our littles. They can come visit me but I don't know if they will. Our relationship has become really un-parent like. Its basically me sending them the odd text like, "How are things going?" and us having a short back and forth or me sending a gift or something. Its not like its very deep conversation.
TL;DR: | Divorced my wife and moved cross country. Remarried and have new younger children. Lost the "fatherly" relationship with my older daughters. Want to get it back. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Mother in-law issues
POST: Pardon the format as I am on mobile.
To begin, she's not technically my mother in law because my boyfriend and I are not married.
I simply adore this family, I love all of them to death but it seems like I could be replaced tomorrow and no one would really be bothered. This bugs me, how have we been together this long and his parents (specifically mother) be indifferent about me. I see the way my friends interact with their "mother in-laws" and it is so different than the dynamic we have. Even my best friend notices when she is around that she's not very enthusiastic about me.
For what it's worth she is an Aquarius.
TL;DR: | my "mother in-law" seems standoffish with me and I don't know how to win her over! |
SUBREDDIT: r/self
TITLE: I just need to rant a little about home buying. please be nice.
POST: So we are trying to buy a house. It will be the first house we have ever owned. Due to my fiancee's awful credit, the loan and the home will be in my name. So we found a house we liked, put in an offer and everything. We're now at in the process of inspections and repairs. Warning: the following is a rant and is liable to be rather lengthy.
Last Wednesday we had a home inspector come out to the home and do his report etc etc. We were there for probably the last hour or so and he was walking us through what problems he had found. Now this house is on the older side and the building regulations and everything has changed since the house was originally built I suppose. The inspection report comes back and there is moisture from the air ducts in both the ceiling and attic that is causing a "growth" in the crawlspace that is marked 'unsatisfactory.' Also a lot of the 3 prong outlets were not grounded in any way through out the home.
I have asthma and anything that could be potentially be mold will definitely affect my health and well being so we asked the seller to get a licensed professional mold inspector to come out to the home and look at it and follow his treatment directions as well as an electrician to come out and ground the outlets because of the potential fire hazard.
We got the response back from the seller today. He essentially says, I am upset that your inspector found things and I had an appraiser come out and he said the house was fine. I am going to fix the things, if any, that he says is wrong. He also says that he never had any water or electrical problems in the home. So, essentially he says fuck you to the fixes that we have asked him to do.
We made sure to mention in the request to fix things that I have asthma and any mold/growth/whatever needs to be fixed before we can buy the home. I am just extremely frustrated by this guy's unwillingness to work with us on problems that are serious concerns.
TL;DR: | Guy trying to sell us his house is a dick and wants us to fix the things that we found wrong with his house after we buy it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [22 M] Feel kind off depressed lately because with my crush [22 f] is just ignoring me
POST: I fell in love with a girl I've met in my school, she's really close to a classmate of mine, I did try to approach her, not in a weird way, just a casual friendly way, added her on facebook a couple of days later, she's the kind of person that logs in 5-10 minutes a day and some days, she isn't even online. So the only way of talking to her is IRL.
two days ago, she wrote to me while we were chatting that a guy in our school save her life by giving her aspirin, I attempted to flirt by saying I could've saved your life too, you know? she answered with : thanks :)
fast forward to this mourning, I've noticed a classmate of mine talking with her and another girl, I of course immediately went to them and said Hi, but as soon as I started a conversation she left and went working on her laptop.
I'm not sure how to feel about it, I did get rejected a couple of times before but I've managed to laugh it off pretty quickly with my buddies, but this time around, I just can't stop thinking of her, Maybe it's just my ego playing tricks on me? or the fact that I'm too lonely lately?
I don't know, what do you guys think?
TL;DR: | I have a crush on a girl that I think isn't interested in me at all and I don't know what I should do, should I try to move on onto other things and focus more about myself, or keep on trying ? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do you even begin to rebuild the trust that your SO has broken?
POST: Me: 22/f, him: 22/m, been together a little over a year. Long story short, he was "dragged" to a strip club-type of deal, and received more than 3 (that I know) lap dances from naked strippers. These 'strippers' would also cuddle up to him and rest their legs on his lap. I let him know that this hurt me immensely, not only because to me, I would consider that cheating, but also because it hurts my self-esteem and my self-confidence as well.
Because I love him with all my heart and we have planned out a future together that still looks somewhat bright, I wanted to give him another chance. I told him 'demands' that I had, for instance, how he has to let me know all details of his outings with his buddies, and to patch up things between us as soon as they start to fall apart. I don't even know if this is going to be effective.
So now my question is, how do I even begin to rebuild this trust? I think I could trust him again, but I also feel like I could never forget what happened. When we start to get intimate again, I'm afraid that these images I had in my head of strippers all over him will pop up in my head and ruin everything.
I don't know where to begin, I'm just flinging darts randomly at the dartboard hoping one will hit the bullseye.
TL;DR: | boyfriend betrayed me by going to strip club and getting lapdances, decided that I want to forgive him but not sure how to begin rebuilding trust and self-esteem. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU freaking out on my crush from Tinder
POST: I joined tinder a year ago and have had quite a bit of dates (20-30) and a few one night stands with random girls. Most girls were really fun, some were awkward, all an amazing experience.
Fast forward to last month, I started talking with a somewhat cute girl (7/10) and really clicked on a different level. She was quite vulgar and said things that your guys friends would say - which I found very unique.
Today I decided to not give a fuck and ask her on a date. She ends up being a solid 10/10. Most beautiful girl I've ever seen in my life. And has the personality to back it up.
Instead of being all cool about it, I started hyperventilating and talking nonsense. When we got to the bar, I parked outside and then immediately decided to get in the car and bail. I can't explain why.
It just didn't make sense in my head that I came across someone so hot and so cool at the same time.
So I boot out of there (pretended my cellphone was left in the car) and start driving.
I sent a text to apologize, she replied and asked for a ride home. I turned around and decided to drive her home. Pretty awkward ride. I apologized for freaking out.
Dropped her off. She was tearing up. Feel like I'm in love. This has never happened before.
TL;DR: | picked up a 7/10 on tinder to fuck, she turns out to be a 10/10 with an amazing personality. Fell in love instantly. Freaked out and bailed |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Is it weird for me, [18 M] to date [16 F]?
POST: So, I recently met a girl online on a dating site. I never go on but I decided to after a couple months. I saw this girl, sent her a message, and we've been talking for about a week or so now. I think I'm going to ask her out on a date soon, but there's something in the back of my mind.
Within the first couple of hours of talking, she admitted she was 16, not 18, and wanted to be honest because she does have interest in me. Her birthday is in February as is mine, so we will technically be 19 and 17.
Maybe it's something psychological with me, but does this seem wrong of me, being 19 years old, and dating someone who's 17? I'm just kind of worried what people will think. Is the age gap that big of a deal?…
TL;DR: | Possible soon to be girlfriend two years younger than me, making her underage. Is it weird, or is the age difference of 19 and 17 not a big deal? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I[23f] have an issue that needs fixed really bad. Its driving me crazy!
POST: Here is my problem: I get told, It seems like don't know how to do things in moderation, and it wasn't until recently that I learned how true it is. Like for instance, I drive people nuts when I get to talking about my favorite subjects. I just can't shut up. I can go on for hours. One big subject is wrestling, once I am talking about wwe, I can't stop. Its my main favorite subject.
I can't really own ( by choice) a Gameboy or DS because I can't seem to put the game down as soon I pick it up. I had one once and I beat Mario games in about two weeks. Also when I have a game on my iphone, its usually beat in a week as well.
When I turn on the investigation discovery channel the channel isn't changed the whole day. When I want to watch a show online or see a marathon on tv of a show I like, I don't watch two or three and move on, I watch 10. When fuse was an awesome station back in the day, It would only stay on that channel. It was the only thing I watched besides wrestling.
I used to be a real bad internet addict, it finally broke. The first site I seem to always go to first when I get online are facebook, reddit and wrestling news. When they had aol red lounge back in the day, I would stay on it nearly 24/7. when I discovered golivewire.com(a site I don't use anymore), I was addicted to it, stayed on for hours on in, same with myspace, once I logged in, It would be hours before I got off. along with many other websites. Long story short: I was addicted to one website at a time.
I have been like this all my life as told by others. When I was small, all I wanted was everything barney, as I got older, by the time I was 4 or 5, it was all about nickelodeon and wrestling oh and playing with nothing but barbies.
TL;DR: | Everything I like seems to become an obsession. I have tons of more examples, those are just my top ones. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Girl (23F) tells me (21M) she has to think about it when I asked her out.
POST: I've known this girl, lets call her E, for about 2 years and always talked every now and then but I was in the middle of a relationship so it was always really platonic. She's always been the one to randomly message me first and talk to me.
About 3 months ago my ex-girlfriend dumped me so around the middle of last month me and E start really flirting and begin hanging out for the first time and instantly get along like we've always known each other.
We start spending a lot of time together. Eventually she invited me to her birthday dinner with her family. This past week we were hanging out so I decided to tell her that I really like her while we were just talking in my car and she says she likes me too!
Naturally I was pretty happy so I asked her if she wants to be together and she says she has to think about it but after that she says don't assume the worst. This was on this past Thursday night.
We hang out Friday and then Saturday too because I went with her to her mom's birthday dinner and still no answer.
I know she's into me for sure but do you guys think she'll say yes? I know she's had a lot of shitty boyfriends so I figure maybe she's just trying to be sure of the kind of guy I am? Any opinions are welcome.
TL;DR: | Girl says she needs time to think but don't assume it's a no after I ask her out. I don't know what to think. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I (27/m) am quite attracted to an older gal (54/f). She's fun and attractive. Is this just a crush or something I should consider? How do I approach it?
POST: I met this gal through some mutual friends and we get along very well. I think she is quite attractive, especially for an older woman. She just came out of a divorce and has two kids who are both about 21. We hang out quite a bit with just us. I did a Color Run with her, we go shopping once in a while together, have dinner, and on several occasions I have made her breakfast and we go for a walk to get coffee. I told her a bit about this in that I half jokingly made a pass at her. She said it would be weird but we still do all these activities together. I'm not looking for something long term out of this but I think it could be fun for both of us. I didn't say that part to her though. Wat do?
TL;DR: | told gal twice my age that I wouldn't mind being with her, she said it would be weird but we still go 'out' and do a lot together |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Bringing my [28F] boyfriend [26M] to meet alcoholic mother [late 50s]
POST: Hi reddit. I've [28F] been in a wonderful relationship for over a year with my boyfriend [26M]. I've met his family and spent Christmas there and they have been completely lovely to me. He hasn't met my family. They live a fair drive away from us, and the trip would require spending one or more nights. I haven't been to see them in nearly 2 years, and we rarely speak. Sadly, my mom is an alcoholic and very much in denial. She can also be a...difficult person to deal with sometimes, and has some mental health issues (paging r/raisedbynarcissists). My dad has been long separated from her and has his own history of alcohol abuse, but he has controlled this in recent years and I don't expect it to be an issue during the visit.
My awesome boyfriend has agreed to come visit and meet my family and our plan is one or two nights with my mom (our only option for staying overnight). She's mainly harmless, and during the day most things are normal, but will almost guaranteed to have been drinking by the time we arrive in the evening and will be tipsy. It hurts me not to be able to help these people, but I've long ago found ways to cope (mainly by keeping my distance). I don't know how much to tell/warn my boyfriend or how to deal with staying over. I've explained some to him, and he insists its ok and he's willing to stay with my mom with me.
Has anyone been in a similar situation and can give advice on how to deal with this?
TL;DR: | bringing my amazing boyfriend to meet my family. Mom is a functional alcoholic and not sure how to prepare him for this visit |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My girlfriend [20 F]for on and off for 3 years, thinks that I [20 M] is going to dump or cheat on her because I am more attractive.
POST: Lets call her Tina.
Tina and I have been on and off for 3 years after meeting just before university started.
We immediately hit it off for 1 year pretty well aside from obvious stresses from university and my athletics.
We both go to very challenging different universities and sometimes would have trouble seeing each other as much as we would like.
Eventually we decided that it was best if we focused on school and dealing with personal issues (I have depression).
After a couple months away from each other and having some intermittent other relationships we got back together after she had a bad break up with her ex.
This caused her to have major trust issues and constantly questions my feelings for her. On top of this she has slumped into a bit of a depression and is seeing a counsellor.
Fast foreward a 5 months through the summer where we could spend a lot of time together because of no school.
I joined a fraternity to get closer with my other guys friends who were already the fraternity in September in my 3rd year of university and I am having a blast and meeting a lot of people.
The problem is that it also means I am meeting a lot of new girls.(Sorority girls!)
Both Tina and I are what I would like to say exceptionally attractive people within our social circles and we both get a lot of attention from others.
We have talked about this and confirmed our commitment to each other.
But still she constantly makes comments about me being around other girls and questions my feelings for her even though I constantly remind her how I feel and that I want to be with her.
I have obviously left out a large amount of details because it is late and I don't feel all of them are relevant.
I am unsure what to do because no matter how many times I say it she still needs constant reassurance of my feelings for her and it is putting a lot of stress on me.
TL;DR: | I joined a fraternity while in a long term complicated relationship, and now my girlfriend needs constant reminders on my commitment to her and it is stressing my feelings for her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (21F) am having trouble with(M21) Friend
POST: Almost 2 months ago i got out of a 1 1/2 year relationship that ended badly. I started hanging out with one of my friends(21m) more frequently and he eventually made a move. I told him that i was still getting over my ex and that i wasn't ready to be in a relationship but i would happily fool around with him/date him non-exclusively. He said he was an all or nothing guy so we agreed to just be friends.
We were still hanging out and he started getting cuddly again and we made out a few times. I explained to him again that i would not be his girlfriend and he said he knew that. Cut to last night; a group of us go to the pub and we all start drinking and playing pool etc. I started getting hit on by guys and i was talking to one of them i thought was really funny. I wasn't really into him but being drunk maybe i came across as being flirty. I ended up giving him my number but after that he grabbed my hand and put it on his crotch and said something gross. at that point i got up and walked over to my friends.
My (21m) friend got really angry and stormed off home.
Today he sent me some messages saying i shouldnt have done what i did and he implied i was a slut. He came over to talk but he didnt say much. He did say that i wasnt who he thought i was and i shouldn't give people my number, he then stormed out and drove home. He sent me a message saying im a liar (for saying i didnt want to get with the guy i gave my number to) and that i dont really care about him.
at this point i was getting really angry. I told him that i didn't think i had done anything wrong and that I didn't like the way he was talking to me. He said he's not going to talk to me for a while and i agreed with him.
What i want to know is, was a being cruel? was i being dishonest? i'm confused by the whole thing and i really dont want to lose him as a friend.
TL;DR: | got with friend, told him i wasnt going to be his GF, gets angry when i get hit on by other men |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [29M] fiancée [25F] has celebrity crushes and I feel like she shouldn't
POST: We've been together for 5 years and it feels like I've found my soulmate. I love her to her death and couldn't imagine life without her, but this one thing feels weird.
*Background*: When she was a kid she had this huge celebrity crush on an older actor. She was a kid/teen so I guess that's normal but I've never had a celebrity crush myself (I find some actresses hot but that's about it, I don't think about them all the time or hang up posters, you know?).
So, last night we were sitting together on the sofa with our laptops and she was talking to her friend on skype (messaging, not with video). She wasn't hiding her screen or anything so I just kind of saw what they were saying. I asked her about it because they were talking about some really hot guy and how he was the prettiest/nicest person alive.
She told me that he was just their latest crush and that he was "soooo pretty" and that of course she didn't talk to me about it because she knew I wasn't into that.
So I got pretty pissed. I mean, by the way she talks about him I wouldn't be surprised that she's masturbated to him or something. And it's not even a celebrity, it's just this guy on youtube that plays games (I thought only children watched those videos)!
**My side**: I don't have any other crushes because I love *her*. I'm not interested in anyone else so why is she?
**Her side**: she thinks it's weird that I'm not like her and have crushes, but obviously tries to keep me in the dark about her crushes since she knows I'm not like that.
What would you guys/girls think?
TL;DR: | She has a big crush on a hot youtube guy and fangasms about him to her friends. But she's in a relationship with me so what the hell? What would you be thinking/doing? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My husband won't work. What should I do?
POST: My husband and I are both 23, and have been together for 6 years. We have a 3 1/2 yr old son.
When we initially starting dating we worked together, and I was attracted to his drive in both his education and the work place. Two years ago we agreed that I would be the bread winner, and allow for him to focus all of his efforts on school. (I am also a full-time student, however I have been working as well since my son was 3 months old.)
My husband graduated with his degree in ATC this past May. Every day I come home from work to find he has not submitted any job applications. I have submitted multiple resumes for him, and we are begining to fall apart over the tension of him not bringing home any income. I try to talk to him about the situation and his only response is that he will not accept a job in an unrelated field. (This bothers me the most considering I am a senior majoring in Criminology and work in an extremely unrelated field).
I am worried this is going to be our downfall. What should I do?
TL;DR: | My husband is a college graduate that refuses to accept a job in an unrelated field. I am worried we are going to seperate over this issue. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: F21 I literally hate when people get mad or upset that I don't reply to their texts
POST: I have this so called "problem" where I don't reply to texts. Sometimes i take hours to reply, sometimes I won't reply at all. Most of the time I'm doing something or I just don't feel like talking/texting. I don't see it as a problem nor do I care enough about it at all.
A lot of people get upset or bothered by this. I've always been this way and I value my time alone. My close friends understand this completely and are never offended or upset by it. If it's something important or they need to talk, they'll either let me know or call me. Simple, right?
My ex would always get so upset by this. He'd always accuse me of ignoring him and it pissed me off. This guy I've kind of been seeing said to me today that it bothers him that he see's me like a picture on Instagram but not reply to him. I've told him before I'm not the best at replying but he just doesn't understand without it bothering him.. And secondly, I use Instagram for pictures and crafting inspo when I'm just chillin. It does not require me to reply to a text or converse when I just don't feel like it.
Honestly, it bothers me more that it bothers them. I feel like I'm expected to change and take responsibility for the way they feel like I'm doing something wrong, when in reality I'm doing nothing wrong and shouldn't feel as if I am.
Not really sure what subreddit to put this as so I'm just winging it. Anyone have similar experiences? How am I supposed to tell these people not to take it so emotionally?
TL;DR: | Don't like to always reply to texts. Upsets a lot of people which then irritates me that this bothered them. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My boyfriend [26/m] choked me [20/f] last night.
POST: The whole story isn't quite clear because I was drunk at the time. We were at a party and I wasn't ready to leave, he was, and he was getting mad at me. I don't think I was being overly rude or anything, but I was wanting to go to a different party. He must have gotten angry that I didn't want to go home and started choking me while I was laying on the couch. I don't remember how hard he choked me but afterwards he was really upset about it and started crying a lot and saying sorry. I don't know what to do, he's been a great guy in our 9 months of dating and has never done anything like this before. Should I forgive or is this a sign of what's to come?
TL;DR: | My boyfriend is a good guy, but he choked me for the first time and I'm not sure what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 M] with my girlfriend [20 F] of two months, am i being to jealous
POST: Im a 21 year old senior at my college and my girlfriend is a 20 year old junior. we have been dating for two months, but have been talking for about 6.
She is in a frat, (business coed) every semester her frat host a party for all the girls where they invite guys from campus to strip for them, its suposed to be all in good fun, often times getting quite rowdy. Last semester she ended up getting quite drunk and making out with and licking whip creme off all three of the strippers.
Now i dont blame her for this, we all get wild sometimes, but for obvious reasons hearing about it makes me uncomfortable, and would prefer she not attend this semesters event. It makes me feel odd and jealous because it harkens back to last semesters events. when i ask her maybe not to attened, she says I have nothing to worry about, she choose me, she will mostly be driving people around sober, she has to go for her friends. It just upsets me for her to go back to this.
Am i being unreasonable to request her to no go. Am i being to controlling. id love for all kinds of feedback. Thanks.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend is going to a party with male strippers, id prefer she not go, am i being to jealous? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26 F] with my BF [21 M] of 1 year, He admitted to kissing another girl, said she was fat and ugly. I found out she's actually hot
POST: This happened a couple of months ago. At the time, I noticed that my BF was acting really distant and short, pretty much ignoring me for an entire week (phone calls, text messages). He was always busy with work and hanging out with his co workers. She used to be one of them and he would mention her a lot as a new friend of his.
A few days later of complete odd behavior from his part, he admitted that he kissed another girl.
We talked about it and I was ok with it, despite thinking that he explained the whole situation really badly. All I knew is that he felt really bad about the situation. I never saw her and he got another job. It would be the end of the story, but 2 days ago we mentioned the topic again, and he described her as being ugly and fat.
Now, I found her profile on Facebook and this girl is far from ugly and fat. She's actually fucking attractive. Now my question is...Am I overreacting for thinking that he lied about it?
I just hate the idea that my guy might distort facts and hide details like that. I would like some opinions about this situation, should I just get over it? And have you ever been through something similar?
TL;DR: | doubts about BF's reasons to lie. Why lie about a girls appearance that he kissed? He claims that he did not lie. |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: I am the world's worst closer...
POST: Dear reddit, I am as of last night the world's worst closer. Seriously, last night, I was on a date with my crush. Yes, THE one. We've known each other for three years, but on New Years Eve this year we started kissing. Or more accurately she started kissing me. We've met on several occasions after this, but never alone and nothing has ever happened since then. However, last night, I asked her out, and we went to the movies. We saw an horrible movie, the kind you don't see on Valentines day. It was a Norwegian horror-comedy movie called "Død Snø 2". Well during the movie, I felt kinda awkward about holding around her etc. The movie were all about killing zombies and showing as much blood and internal organs as possible. I asked her if she liked the movie, and surprisingly she said yes. After the movie we rushed to reach the bus back home.
There were never any awkwardness when we talked, but when I followed her to her door the awknardness came pretty fast. I don't know what happened, but I just hugged her, thanked her for the night and walked home. After that I just immediately facepalmed so hard. I know she is genuinly interested in me, and I'm pretty into her aswell. Why the f*** didn't I man up for once? Fuck me, reddit, fuck me. Thank you for reading, I just needed to get this off my chest.
TL;DR: | Went on a date with my crush. She is into me, I'm into her. I didn't man up. Fuck me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My boyfriend [M/26] hasn't introduced me [F/21] to his family and we've been dating for 4 months. Should I be worried?
POST: Basically I've been dating this guy for 4 months. We've been exclusive for 3. He treats me like a princess when we're together, but the things is... when we're together it's always at my place.
He works out of town on weekdays, so to save up for a house he's been living with his mom, stepdad and their kid. So they live in town.
I've brought up wanting to meet them but he just said that he wasn't ready for things to change yet because he likes how they are and that he just wanted to let that happen naturally.
But things like that don't happen naturally... you initiate them.
I told him I just wanted to feel like he was truly committed to me and he assured me he was. Should I give it a rest for a couple of months?
TL;DR: | We've been together for 4 months. At what point should I be worried that I haven't seen where he lives or met his family? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [34/m] dying to cheat on loving [29/f] of 5 years. What do I tell her?
POST: Here's the gist of my situation: I'm [34/m] in an almost 5 year relationship with [29/f]. No children, not married, no mortgage etc. Just a couple cats and an apartment. Good friendship, below average romantic relationship and sex life at this point. There are a lot of petty things I don't like about her but I do love her.
Over the past 10 years I've been in relationships with her and one other person (not much time spent single), and to be honest I really just want to chase girls again and be with other people. I'm DYING to hook up with someone else to the point where I feel like I would cheat given the right opportunity, and I know that would make us both feel awful (happened once already a few years ago, also sabotaged my previous relationship by cheating).
I feel checked out of the relationship but I've kept it going because I know that she really loves me and I feel so sad for her. I'm also worried about her well-being and financial situation if we broke up (I pay all the bills). It would make me really sad too because I do love her very much. I just don't think I can stay for much longer and I'm really missing the single life for a variety of reasons. I know it's wrong to drag this on.
Is it selfish of me to want to break up for these reasons? Is this common, but other people can deal with it better than I can? How do I explain it? Should I be perfectly honest, or should I not mention the desire to be with other people? I don't want to be enemies, and I'm close with her family which makes it even harder. This is a crappy thing to tell someone: How do I break up in the most respectful or easiest to swallow way? Or should I try to repair the relationship although I have little desire to do so?
TL;DR: | I love my GF but just want to be single again and hook up with new people. What do I tell her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [24 M] girlfriend [22 F] of 3 months has been gaining weight. How do I bring the issue up gently?
POST: My girlfriend and I have been dating for 3 months. They've been good months and we've seen each other at least 5 times per week since the beginning of this month. She left for an abroad program in the UK so I haven't seen her in person for about 3 weeks. She posts picture of herself and her travels frequently and I've been noticing slow, but steady weight gain (or so it seems) in the pictures. Is there a nice way to bring up my concern?
I really like her a lot because we're very open and honest with each about how we feel about things and if we disagree on something we always talk it out. But, I'm afraid of maybe "going too far" with this considering how touchy of a subject weight can be. I want to bring it up because 1) (and most importantly) I care about her personal health and happiness and 2) if this progresses I fear I won't be attracted to her anymore because that's not the body type I look for in a mate.
Advice is appreciated!
TL;DR: | My girlfriend appears to have steadily gained weight while abroad and I want to voice my concerns before it gets out of hand. How can I go about this intelligently? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 M] with my girlfriend [22F]. I met this girl on my exchange semester and we fell in love and had a great time while I was here. Now I have to leave her. How can I make sense of this?
POST: I met my girlfriend on my exchange semester abroad. We had an amazing 5 months together and now I have to leave. She is the only girl who I felt understood me and she loves me back. We spend as much time together as we can.
However, now I have to go back to my country and back to the same old girls who never understood me. (Canada). I can't find anyone like her there. I've had girl problems my whole life and for once I had someone. How can this be meant to be? How can the universe make this happen? Why is this happening to me?
Sorry for the sentimental/philosophical questions. I am just really torn right now and feel like my world is ending. She says she will always love me and is always with me, but how can that be when she is just not.
TL;DR: | I am leaving the only girl I ever loved because we live in different countries. How can I see any good in this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: On a scale of 1 to creepy, how weird would it before me (18/M) to invite a new friend (18/F) on a trip?
POST: I should state from the outset that I have zero romantic intentions here. (I've got a girlfriend I'm steady with.) I just think it'd be fun to have her along, and adding one/two more people would help cost savings as well for hotel rooms.
Anyway, background. My friends and I have been planning a trip to Canada for a monthish now, for over break once fall quarter ends. It's 6 of us right now, four guys, two girls, possibly a third. I only know one of the people on this trip well (but he's a great friend). We plan on staying up there for three days/two nights, but might abridge it to two days/one night. We're taking a bus up, and staying in hotels with 4 people to a room, split by gender. The trip is about 2 weeks out at this point.
There's a girl in one of my courses this quarter who I didn't really start talking to until the last few weeks. It's just been chit-chat whenever we bump into each other on campus/online, but we do have friends in common, and we have talked about hanging out sometime.
Would it be weird to invite her (plus a mutual friend perhaps, if that possibly a third from above falls through) on this trip? I'm thinking it's more on the yes-that's-creepy side, but I'd like your input here, since I feel like it'd be fun if it did work out. She seems to be more familiar with the area we're visiting than we are, too. Thoughts?
TL;DR: | I'd like to invite someone I just met on a trip, partially to get to know them better, partially because having more people is fun. But I feel like it could be weird/creepy to do so. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Dating: Went out on two amazing dates with amazing man but no sign of date 3. I like him but don't know if he's worth pursuing. Need advice
POST: So I met this guy on Tinder, and he's the only guy I've agreed to go out with from that app. He is about 9 years older than me (he's in his mid 30's).
We went out on our first date and it was great! we were literally out for about 7 hours until the bars were closing and we had to leave. He asked me a few times if I would want to see him again, and I said yes, so we set up to meet again the next week. Once again, it went really well.
We share the same passion and we can speak about almost anything. He spoke about things we can do "next time" and mentioned things like "date 4' and "date 11".
We don't really text each other between dates, even when we do, it's very short messages. He's not very responsive over texts so I don't text him much.
It's been 2 weeks since our 2nd date, and I'm unsure if I should ask him out or wait to see if he does. I don't want to ask him out if he's not interested in me.
I'm usually quite good at reading when a guy is into me, but I've only dated men around my age, so I'm not sure how older men date. Because his actions seem different from the usual guys, who text quite abit, but when we meet, he's very affectionate and says things like "It's nice to end my week with you" and "did you think about me during the week?"
Oh and another thing that happened is that we got intimate on both dates, although I wasnt planning to, and it's something I've never done before.
I NEVER sleep with guys on the first date. But I feel connected and comfortable. I wonder if sleeping with him so fast also could have ruined the chances of us getting to know each other more?
I'm reaaally confused as of if I should just forget it or try. I do like him, not enough to want to jump into a relationship with him, but enough to want to see him and get to know him more. Help?
TL;DR: | met a guy on Tinder, had 2 amazing dates but no sign of date 3 for two weeks. Confused to whether I should pursue him or not. |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: A crazy thought of mine about people around me
POST: I've got some degree of social anxiety, I'm aware of that. Ever since the first day of college I've been shy, and unsure, because I never had this degree of freedom and never was such a stranger. In the past, I was stuck in a room with 30 of you, and we became friends just like that, not everyone, but enough. Now, the rooms are bigger, the corridors wider, and I'm clueless about starting the process.
If you're a girl, you think I'm hitting on you, and sometimes you like it, but I want a friend first. If you're a guy, it's still awkward to start the conversation. And it's partially me, but I'm starting to think it's partially you, too, stranger.
I catch your looks, and maybe I'm attractive, maybe you see the spark in my eye that tells you I'd be your friend in a heartbeat, if only it were reciprocated, but if you're not going to do anything, then why stare? Why do any of you look at all? I mean, I'm not that handsome, and i KNOW there's nothing in my teeth or on my face, except a little redness from having checked myself 5 times.
I'm tired of being looked at. I'm tired of doing the looking too. That's why my eyes won't catch yours anymore, on this campus of busy commuters and a lonely dorm boy.
TL;DR: | I catch people looking at me again and again, and it makes me anxious. I'm keeping my eyes away from now on. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU: by not checking the cables.
POST: This literally happen 2min ago and I want to fucking shoot myself.
So lately I've been having troubles with my PC, specifically my display. There have been red pixels and flickering lines and shit and it's really annoying. Google tells me it's a graphics problem so I update my graphics drivers. Doesn't work. I delete my graphics drivers and re download them. Doesn't work. I delete my entire graphics folder and re download everything from scratch. Doesn't work. At this point I'm thinking its a virus that is pretty well hidden somewhere on my PC so, to kill the spider I burn down the house. I refresh my PC deleating all my personal data from it in order to kill the virus. As the PC is in the process of deleting everything I decide to check the cables. It's not plugged in all the way. As soon as I push it in all the way it fixes all the graphical issues I've been having. Too bad I killed my PC in the process. I'm a fucking idiot.
TL;DR: | I'm a fucking idiot and I should stick to consol gaming. Now if you'll excuse me I need to spend an eternity re-download everything. FML. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me (22F) with my classmate (22F), how to deal with her being clingy?
POST: Hi guys. It seems like a really small matter and I feel a little stupid asking an advice about this. But I decided to give it a go:)
So I started university this semester. I'm studying a combined set of 3 main courses - and naturally we're a very small group that does this certain degree. One of them I obviously only met at uni, and I think she's way too clingy/depended on me and I'm getting slightly irritated.
It shows in the little things, but it shows: whenever I go sit somewhere, she HAS to sit next to me, and if I go somewhere she asks me where; when I type/do something on my laptop or even my phone she has to look what I'm doing or ask something and comment about it (which feels a little invasive); we also went out all the students to celebrate another classmate's birthday, and she was very determined to order exactly what I ordered ( I debated wheather to order a meal or just coffee, and she was like "no, don't leave me alone!"... you can order whatever you like, you don't need me for that...).
Things like that. She has an issue with a classmate that hangs with us a lot, and constantly tells me about all the things that piss her off about her, often via texts and calls that just last forever. I'm a pretty private person and I like my personal space, and the whole situation bugs me a lot. Am I overreacting and being needlessly judgemental? She is a very nice girl though and I would like to keep a good relationship especially when the class is so small, plus she doesn't deserve getting hurt or feeling unwanted... but in the other hand her dependence can get really uncomfortable for me.
Any advice?
TL;DR: | a classmate is clingy and dependent, its a small class and its hard to find a way to get away from her. How do i deal with that? She always follows me around. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I am faced with the hard decision. I just want to know if I am being unreasonable and how I should proceed to handle this situation. Please help me.
POST: My boyfriend's parent don't want us to get engaged.
We have been together for over a year and a half, we just want a little more commitment until we get closer to finishing our education (I want to go to medical school after my undergrad too). They act like it's their relationship. My parents are religious, they do not want me to be in a long-term relationship that may not go anywhere.
A little background: I am a 19 year old university student with a 12.4 GPA, my boyfriend (also 19 years old) and I don't want children, and I am celibate (so no pre-marital sex, I can't live with or stay the night with my boyfriend, nor can I travel with him. It can get frustrating).
I love him so much, but now his parents are threatening to cut him off from his education funds.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend's parents don't want us even to get engaged for another five years and might cut him off from his education funds if he proceeds to ask me to marry him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [23 M] was never able to commit to my dream girl [20 F], now she has a boyfriend and I don't know how to handle it.
POST: So, I met a really, really awesome girl mid-last year. She is as close to everything I have ever wanted in a partner as it gets. She was so dedicated to building a relationship with me and every time she brought up committing I would just kind of brush it off for a later conversation because I didn't feel ready.
We dated until mid-january, where I realized I didn't feel comfortable being a boyfriend yet, but instead of actually vocalizing that like a normal human being, I just slowly faded away, with us occasionally still talking. We never officially "broke up" because I was never able to officially give her the reassurance that we were even together.
Last night when I couldn't sleep I went on facebook and saw that she is now in a relationship. I was overcome with jealousy, tired, and sad so decided to text her something along the lines of how I was jealous of the guy who's dating her and how I'm happy for her. This morning she just responded saying thanks. Nothing else. I know I fucked up big time and shouldn't have said anything.
The problem is, I feel like we're the right people for each other. I've heard really shitty things about her new boyfriend through mutual friends (that he has a history of serial dating, that he's extremely clingy), and I just can't help but feel like I lost out on the girl I was meant to be with for the rest of my life.
TL;DR: | Let my dream girl slip away and I don't know what I was thinking, but now she has a boyfriend. Do I fight for her? Do I just chalk it up to being an idiot who lost his dream girl? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: 27/M. Introducing my 27/F to my friends. Taking the saying "You can tell a lot about a guy by the company he keeps," too seriously.
POST: I'm introducing my lovely GF to my buddy and his wife.
The plans are dinner/drinks then we are either going ice skating or to a haunted house, since it's Halloween and all.
My buddy is a super nice guy and his wife is nice as well. But when I hang out with them, the conversation dies a lot. Either my buddy mumbles and I have ask him to speak up, and can't hear him, and I get annoyed or change the subject. I feel I am always keeping the conversation going. Him and I talk a lot when we are 1 on 1 but I feel when he's with his wife they both quiet down in more social situations (which is fine) but they don't ask questions to keep things going. Or it will just turn into an interview and conversation won't be added to. They will look at me awkwardly waiting for me to talk or they'll point out something on the wall. (ugh) It drives me nuts on the inside. I feel as if they aren't interested in anything and or aren't interested in other people.
I feel that if my friends don't add to the conversation, my GF will think they're weird, and thus think that I'm weird as well.
Should I warn my GF that things could get quiet during dinner or let her be the judge? I don't want my GF to be uncomfortable if there is a lot of silence.
TL;DR: | I heard a relative say "you can judge a lot about a guy by the company he keeps". And I take it a little too literally. Am I over thinking everything? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [27M] want a vasectomy. My wife [27W] doesn't want me to get one.
POST: When we started our relationship about 6 years ago, I told my wife I would never want kids. I believe they would ruin our relationship, and if we ever got a divorce, I wouldn't want to pay child support, since I need the money. She said she didn't want kids either for the same reason.
Fast forward 6 years, we have been married for a year, and I want a vasectomy, so I will never get her pregnant. That, way, we won't need to use birth control since the possibility of her getting pregnant is eliminated. She doesn't want me to get one, her reason being "What if you change your mind?". I've made it clear numerous times that I would never want to have kids, and I told her that it is alright if she wants to get a divorce. However, she does not want to leave. What can I do?
TL;DR: | I want to get a vasectomy so I will never have kids, however, my wife doesn't want me to, and is hinting she may want kids in the future. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [25F] bf [28 M] of 4 years has sent messages to girls on nsfw subs telling them he thinks they're stunning/hot and that he can't wait to fap to their pictures.
POST: pretty much all in the title. The most recent message was 2 years ago. He only did it a few times, but it still bothers me. He even told one girl his name ("my name is ---- by the way"). They never go further than compliments and simple questions, but in each case the girl was the one to stop messaging back so who knows what could've been said eventually.
I'm so sure he would NEVER cheat on me or anything. And I don't care if he looks at porn on reddit or wherever, it just bugs me that he PM'd them. It's a form of contact/interaction, and it turns a picture or video on the screen into a person.
We own a house together, and there's no question in my mind that we'll get married and he'll be a wonderful life partner. I just need help/advice on getting rid of this icky feeling I have.
I should/will probably bring it up with him, I just need some time to sort my thoughts and wouldn't mind a little feedback from an outside party.
TL;DR: | bf PM'd a couple girls on NSFW subs. It bugs me, but I'm not sure if it should. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: My work is sending me backpacking overseas to photoblog, reddit, I need your help.
POST: My experience with travel is limited to going to Vegas for work from Detroit. I've had all the French classes I could take in college, but never an environment to use what I've learned. I have two and a half years of film experience, and I know how to edit photos and video.
I plan on using couchsurfing.org to sleep for free. I will have a limited budget to use for travel and food. I don't have a passport yet, but it's in the works and I know what I need to get one.
**My question to reddit is this**
How exactly do I go about this? I have so many questions about this trip, having never gone outside of the States.
* What type of food is affordable and good for backpacking? I will have one duffel bag, where should I store the duffel bag while I'm gathering pictures and product?
* What locations are good to maximize the amount of stuff I can take pictures of and send brochures, menus, and junk back to the states? Post offices?
* Travel, it looks like I'll mostly be traveling on train, outside of the obvious hot air balloon or horseback, how would you travel from town to town?
* I use a verizon droid, should I just get a temporary phone with social media/internet browsing/text features? Verizon doesn't have service in France from the looks of it, and I need GPS.
* I'll need to upload blogs and pictures daily to the interwebs, would you use an internet cafe, or just prepay for 10 days overseas?
TL;DR: | My company is sending me, an inexperienced international traveler overseas to gather local materials for a book, what do? Full IAmA upon return. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Help: How do I [30/F] turn my boyfriend [33/M] into more of a sexual deviant?
POST: I'm in a brand new relationship with a guy going on about two months now, and just about everything is great except for the fact that the sex is super boring (ie. it consists of two positions: me on top and missionary), and my partner seems hesitant to expand his horizons. This is a big red flag for me in thinking about a long term relationship or possibly marriage, and has me considering whether I should even continue the relationship or cut ties while it's still early on. That said, I do like the guy very much and would rather work on it than just cut and run.
My boyfriend has said on multiple occasions that he is "shy" when it comes to sex. He also has said that if anyone can break him out of it, he thinks it would be me. That gives me hope that he wants to explore, but I've asked him many times both during sex and in conversation for something as simple as switching up positions (doggy specifically), and his response is always, "but I like to look at you", and then I feel like a dick because hey, he's being sweet. But sweet is now boring to me.
So my question is, how do I get my boyfriend to move away from the shy end of the spectrum into the fun, creative, exciting side? I'm super open and want to try a lot of things, but I can't figure out how to help him loosen up. I've sent him random dirty photos in the middle of the day, been direct in asking him questions about what he likes, etc. and while he's responsive to those things, he drops the ball and doesn't take it to the next level afterwards. I feel totally out of my element as the woman dealing with a more submissive/quiet guy, and could definitely use some outside advice/perspective. Thanks!
TL;DR: | My otherwise great boyfriend is shy about sex (talking about it, or doing anything other than missionary). Looking for help on ways to bring out his (hopefully existent) inner sexual deviant. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [27 /F] with my SO [42 /M] of a year am gearing up to help him through a possible job loss. What is helpful and what resources do I have?
POST: For the next week my boyfriend is under review for being out an extra four days from work that was not approved for his vacation time.
He is a grown man and made a choice that he was aware could garner such consequences. We both realized that from the get-go. I think he is a bit shocked that this has turned into the stink it has. Saying "I told you so" is not something I want to say nor have I even considered saying it. I am not here to lecture him. I am here to support him.
Nothing has been decided yet. Like I said- his trial is in a week, and in the meantime I am trying not to worry. If the worst happens, though, what are things I can say and do to help him through a loss like this?
I wish I could help him financially but I am not in that kind of position yet. Anxiety is added to the equation because this is his career and he has two children to support with his ex.
I am in decent spirits today and am making sure to take care of myself. I know I can't be there for him if I am not well.
TL;DR: | My boyfriend may be fired from his long-term career and he has two children to support. I cannot help financially and would like advice in case he does lose his job about how I can help. |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: I finally feel like everything is coming together.
POST: In the last 10 months, I managed to move away from my hometown (which is like a succubus for dreams and motivation), I landed a sweet job (entry-level, but has lots of opportunity and the people I work with are great!), and I finally may have a chance with a girl who I think is way out of my league.
The job and independence are great as is, but after a failed 5-year relationship (that ended two years ago), I didn't think I'd ever want to date again. I got over my fears and had a great time with this woman, and we exchanged number as she says she likes hanging out with me. She texted me first!
I can't believe how much control I have over my life now, and it's such an intangible personal victory that I want to share it with people on the internet.
No matter how shitty you feel about your situation, regardless how helpless you feel, just please understand that you have more control of your life than you think.
TL;DR: | If this 24-year old can move out of his house (at 24!), land a job, and potentially get a girl, it's possible for anyone. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Am I a Jealous B? Or Should he Ditch Reminders of the Ex?
POST: My partner [26M] and I [22F] have been dating for about a year and a half. Things went incredibly smoothly until March, when I realized that he had been talking to his ex in person and via text semi-regularly and hadn't told me anything about it.
We got into a bit of a spat while we were drunk on St. Patty's, and for the first time in my life I read his text messages (ack!). The two of them were having a conversation about dreams they had had about one another. Frown. But I got over this.
About a month later, while perusing his facebook photos (via my own account, not snooping!) I saw that there were a few pictures of him with the ex. This did not bother me in general, until I saw a couple lovey looking ones with them about to kiss, bla bla bla.
I didn't like that so much. So I asked him (emotionally) to take them down. He got pretty defensive and asked why I am insecure about our relationship. I should know that he loves me...and stuff like that. I didn't really know what to say.
Since then I have realized that he has some pottery which she made around the house; also photos on his computer of the two of them, some breasts (big frowny), etc. I don't know what to do.
Am I unreasonable to ask him to discard the items and photos? Am I being a jealous B??? How can I ask him to do this without seeming to accuse him of foul play (that's not what I'm really worried about - it just sucks big time to see the stuff that routinely makes me think about him being with someone else)!!??!!
Thanks in advance for any advice.
TL;DR: | Partner is still friends with ex, still has pics and items from her (some graphic!). They talk to each other on the reg. Can I reasonably ask him to ditch the ex GF paraphernalia? If so, how? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 F] with the person i'm kind-of seeing [25 F] for about 6 weeks , getting very mixed signals
POST: Hello people,
I've been talking to this girl for around 6ish weeks now. Last week she started acting strange (prior to our 4th meeting) like wouldn't really engage in the conversation we'd be having, so I picked up on this and gave her an out to cancel the plans we had made, in a pretty discrete way, but she said she wanted to see me. So we met and she was the same usual way she always was (which was great). She also wouldn't let me pay for anything and we had always gone splitsies prior to that.
We messaged after our date until we went to sleep, then the next day, and up until today, she has been really short again. I should note that in the first 4ish weeks we were talking she had never been like this which is why i'm confused. She is a few years older and currently moving jobs so i understand she may be swamped at work and she also has some pretty big sporting commitments.
Basically, I'd get the message if she was simply short with me, but she initiates the conversations, she snaps me every morning, and if i don't reply (usually if she's being blunt) she'll message me around 30 mins later. She also drives an hour to see me.
She mentioned she can't meet up this weekend because she was busy with moving to her new job monday, but that she would meet me the following week.
Important to note we live like 3 hours apart so meet once a week usually.
I wouldn't be so confused but she's not always been this distant so I don't know what to make of it. Any help is greatly appreciated.
TL;DR: | She's been very short lately yet initiates all the conversations and says she wants to still meet up. What are your thoughts? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I need some helpful advice reddit.
POST: Last week my friend let an old friend from high school (10 years ago) move in. He did this because she has become addicted to the painkillers she was prescribed after her car accident. To make it worse 4 months ago her mother died of an aneurysm and she became very dependent on them.
Some of her "so called" friends took advantage of her vulnerablility and got her melting down and shooting the pills intravenously. All the while her biological father has been sexually abusing her.
Now my friend who brought her in to help has been yelling at her, accussing her of things and treating her like a child. He gets drunk and threatens her and whenever she tries to stand up for herself he just yells over her about how she could be on the street on her ass or back at her dads house.
I want to help her because she really is a sweet girl that fell victim to a domino of terrible situations and people. What can I do to help her out?
TL;DR: | My roomate is trying to help an old friend who is now a drug addict by letting her move in, but he is being very disrespectful and aggressive towards her. How can I help this situation? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What do I do in this situation with my Ex?
POST: This might be a bit long, but I need some serious advice. My ex and I have been on and off for a couple years. When she has a BF she wants nothing to do with me it seems, but when she is single she starts to talk to me again.
Recently we started talking again and hanging out. She claims she wants to get back together, but she seems to make a lot of excuses when we try and make plans to hang out. I do love this girl and we have been through a lot, but it feels like she is a different person now. Part of me wants to work things out with her and the other part wants me to have her out of my life.
Basically, how do you tell yourself that she's no good for you? Or do I try and rekindle an old romance and hope for the best? I just cant decide on my own and would like to hear what some of you think and hear some of your advice.
TL;DR: | Ex has recently come back into life and cant decide if I tell her to kick rocks or do I try and see if it could work again. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: After 5 months, it's finally hit me [23M]. How long does this "Getting over a break-up" thing last?
POST: It's been 5 months and all of a sudden I've found myself admitting that I do miss her. eurgh! We weren't really good for each other, we connected on certain things especially on a physical level (sex). She had really bad insecurities, which led to her doing a lot of stupid things that I even tried to help her through, but it just didn't work.
Since I was 16 I've been in three 2 year relationships and and one-1 year relationship, each right after the other. I realised this is a lot, and that I depend on the female company too much. So over the last 5 months I've focused on friends, new hobbies and planning a holiday. I've hung out with a few girls but honestly with all the bad stuff, me and my ex had certain connections I don't think I'll find in anyone else. She really could have been the one guys. It's sad. How long does this last?
TL;DR: | After 5 months I realise how much I miss my ex, but she's not good for me. I've tried to distract myself but nothing is working. I miss her :( |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Cushiony office job, or stressful management position?
POST: I used to be a GM in the city a few years back for a pizza place. Pay was amazing. But, I never had a weekend off and had to work six nights a week. I got offered a position at the same company out where I live now, so it's a little calmer than I'm used to. Starting salary is 30k, but then will bump up to a guaranteed 35k, with the potential of 45-50k depending on my bonuses. Since I know the company inside and out, that will be fairly easy for me.
I'm currently a telemarketer. The job sucks. I'm only guaranteed to 14k a year, however I'm off nights and weekends. Depending on how my week goes I can easily make 400+on top of my salary. However, I'm not in any control of my salary. While it does depend on how hard I pitch and convince them to book a vacation through me, ultimately it's up to the customer. The plus side is I have an awesome schedule, but I can only work 30-36 hours per week.
Downside to Domino's is it will be stressful at times, but I absolutely loved that job. Crazy hours, and my franchisee asked that I move closer to that location (45 mins, which I'm down for). I will have the major holidays off, but don't get paid for them until I'm salaried.
Plus side is money money money and I'm already trained.
Downside to telemarketing is that I hate telemarketers and so does everyone else, so it's not an easy job. Low pay, and it's so boring. My salary depends on my clients.
Plus side is its close to home, easy, great schedule, paid time off, paid holidays, and my shifts are short.
TL;DR: | Pizza place job with shit hours that pays in the end 40k> vs low paying telemarketing job that pays at its best 28k,but has great hours? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: My brother needs help..
POST: My older brother had two kids with a woman he was with 9 years ago. Shortly after the woman took the kids and left one day with him unable to find her. She got into drugs real bad and was in and out of jail so the kids started staying with her parents. It wasn't until then we knew where they were. The grandparents of the kids contacted my mother and told her we could see them. She wouldn't allow my brother to see them because he too was in a bad spot in his life with drugs and alcohol so we understood. For the past 8 years or so my mom and I have been seeing the kids often and they come visit. A little over two years my brother started cleaning himself up. After a two month stay in jail he got out and I put him to work to keep him busy. He met a nice girl and got serious about the important things in life. He got married and they wanted to to start seeing his kids. For the past 8 years he has had nothing to do with them but sending a little money here and there. He has been sending the grandparents letters and calling them wanting to start seeing the kids and helping pay for things for the past year. She will not return any of his letters or calls. About 9 months ago he got diagnosed with diabetes and was told he couldn't work for close to a year so now he is back in school. The grandmother is now wanting to take him to court to make him relinquish his rights to the kids. My brother is in school and doesn't have the money for a good lawyer. What can I/we do to make sure this doesn't happen. He's turned his life around and we feel if he loses his chance for these kids he's going to fall back off into old habits. Any advice is greatly appreciated.
TL;DR: | My brother is being taken to court to give up rights to his kids after not being there for 8 years. He has cleaned himself up and know wants to contribute and be a father. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25F]. What are some resources to improve my personality?
POST: Hey all, does anyone know of any good online resources, or have any tangible advice on how to practice one's personal charisma and general personality?
I am 25F who grew up extremely shy/mute. I already have a lot of interests that are unique and cool. I like to talk about them and frequently do. I try to relate them to others, and I ask others about their interests. However, I still am a boring conversationalist and it's quite hard to talk to me. Whereas many people need to work on their looks to get peopel to give their personality a chance, I can get through the door but can't keep people.
I see other girls with really witty, funny, warm, energetic, and happy personalities. Whereas when I open my mouth to talk, I either say something offensive, or like 1 line, that no one really knows what to do with (lest it be a joke that went way wrong), something with offensive undertones or that implies something else weird/bad, or that adds nothing to the conversation. All mixed with many awkward silences. I am great at shifting the focus away from myself by asking questions and being friendly. However this makes people uncomfortable because it feels like I'm deflecting at times.
Again, I DO have cool interests and stuff. Just when people are with me they quickly lose their energy and become bored or tired. I am an energy drain rather than giver, because of how difficult conversation is, because of how bad my personality is! So yeah, any resources on how to slowly become better at this art?
TL;DR: | I have many unique interests/hobbies I can talk about, AND ask people about themselves, but I STILL have a very weak personality and little charisma. How to improve? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: 29/m with 28/f for 3 months - Have you ever screwed up a relationship with someone new because you weren't over your ex?
POST: I ended a 2 year relationship 5 months ago. I was in love, engaged, living together. She cheated multiple times before I got my shit together and left.
2 months after ending things with my ex, I met my girlfriend, Faith, and we started dating. She has a _ton_ going for her: Fit, smart, funny, good job, hard working, honest, lots of the same interests, high sex drive.
The problem is that I feel like lingering feelings for my ex have made me unable to "attach" to someone new. And maybe Faith doesn't have some of the outgoing personality traits of my ex that I liked, but she has a lot of other great qualities that I sometimes feel like I'm not valuing enough.
I'm trying to figure out if the lack of "chemistry" I feel is mostly because of not being over my ex, or if it's something else. Have any of you ever experienced this? Like something is broken with your emotions/heart and you're not open to really appreciating someone great? I don't want to screw this up and sometimes I feel flickers of understanding and realization that I'm being an idiot and not trying as hard as I should.
TL;DR: | Taking a while to get over my ex, started dating someone new and feel like there is something wrong with me for not being super-enthusiastic about her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: 20/M and 20/F... Can reddit help a starcrossed lover
POST: I need help with my relationship. I've asked many close friends and relatives and nobody knows how to help me because my situation is so unique. I have turned to reddit because a friend told me it might benefit me.
Just a little bit about me... I live in a small town in the United States and I am a sophomore in college. Ive only had one serious relationship in my life which was in high school.
Last summer i worked construction with my uncle. Everyday for a week he would tell me to come over his neighbors house to meet a cute exchange student who was visiting her host family from years earlier. I never did because i wasn't very interested in having a girlfriend. Anyways, a few weeks later i went on vacation with a group of friends and while walking on the beach, ran into another family that was from my home town. Coincidentally, they were the family that hosted the exchange student. She was with them.
We immediately hit it off and had a great time together, even hanging out for a few days after we got back in my home town.
A week after we got home from vacation, she went home to her country. We talked almost every day for about 6 months until i went to visit her. The trip was everything and more and now i can say that i think i love her and im sure she feels the same way about me.
What should i do? we both know that we might not see each other again as we are both busy with school and work.
texting and talking every day is very hard on both of us because we only want to be together.
TL;DR: | fell in love with someone who lives on the other side of the world. visited once but have no plans to visit again for a long time |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: New here. Two-parter. Please help me figure out what to do with my savings.
POST: I've heard great things about you folks and thought I'd finally ask the questions that I've been mulling over for a while.
I am a freelancer and have had pretty unexpected success over the last couple of years ($120K+/year).
I now need help figuring out what to do with my savings. This makes for a two-part question.
PART ONE:
Other than two mortgages (one on a condo that's rented out and another on a home that I have quite a bit of equity built into), my only debt is $20K in grad school loans at 6.3% interest. I've been paying them off for the last 5 years at around $500 per month. I have enough savings that I could (gulp) *theoretically* pay them off in one shot, but I don't know if that $20K would be better invested elsewhere. (Plus my income is potentially volatile as a freelancer.)
I currently have a moderate-risk managed investment fund that my advisor thinks will earn at least 7% this year, but of course there's no guarantee.
PART TWO:
Whether or not I decide to immediately pay off my loans, I'm interested in playing the stock market for the first time by myself. I have absolutely NO idea what I'm doing. I'm thinking about taking some "mad money," say $5K or so, that it would be sucky to lose but not actually devastating. Where on earth do I start? What kind of service? (eTrade? Other?) Where do I do my research? What do I need to know before diving in? What kind of time commitment am I getting into in order to do this right? Is $5K a laughably small number to play with? (Or stupidly high?) Am I dumb to try playing the market myself when I already have a managed fund?
Than you!
TL;DR: | Better to pay off student loans all at once or invest that money? How do I get started playing the stock market? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I [20 F] ask my boyfriend[22 M] to take down his dating profile
POST: Now before everyone goes "Why are you with this cheating asshole?" I just want to clarify a couple things. We met on this dating website, the fact that he has it is not news to me. Secondly our becoming an exclusive couple is a fairly recent development (around the 7 month mark, we're at the 10th month now). Third from my creepings (I have a fake account) he only checks it every couple weeks to a month, and in that same vein, given the amount of time we spend together and text/snapchat/etc. in addition to his work schedule, I find it highly unlikely that he's messaging people, much less going on dates. That being said, I would obviously prefer it if he deactivated or put that he was in a relationship. I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that the reason he still has it is because it's no longer a priority (a lot of shits gone down since we started dating) and when he does check it it's because someone messaged him and he's curious what it says.
As it is though, I'm not sure how to talk to him about it. We haven't fought at all and I'd prefer to keep it that way. I know it's going to be awkward talking about it either way but I'd greatly appreciate if anyone has suggestions on how to make it as painless as possible.
And rest assured, if he does get defensive/upset about me asking him to deactivate I'll be reevaluating the relationship.
TL;DR: | Been exclusive for a couple months, still has profile up but checks very sporadically, not sure how to broach the subject. |
SUBREDDIT: r/needadvice
TITLE: Young and new to money management; need some advice.
POST: I'm 16 and recently opened an IRA because it made logical sense to start early once I got a job. My parents are now going insane because they believe that pretty much all my money should go towards college and that this IRA money is now essentially untouchable without paying a fee. But my argument is that by my calculations I'd only be able to contribute about $8,000 to paying for college by the time I graduate highschool therefore I offered to put part of the 8 grand in the IRA and part in a regular savings for expenditures during college that aren't covered by tuition (non-dorm food, gas, fun stuff). But because I thought it was unfair that I didn't pay any of my tuition I said I'd match whatever I had in my accounts in the form of a student loam. To which my parents exploded, going about how I'd be in debt for the rest of my life (keep in mind it'd only be an 8 grand loan). I'm not worried about the debt because I plan to be a doctor and have the grades to show I'm well on my way. Am I being smart about my money??
TL;DR: | I'm focused on an IRA and am comfortable about taking student loans out in college while my parents are treating the little money I have to put towards college as being incredibly crucial for me paying for college. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: To the Redditors that have been in the "Real World" a while now: Have politicians always been this corrupt? More importantly, has it always been this visible?
POST: I'm curious, because it seems like things are just getting way out of hand recently. I understand that backroom handshakes between government officials and big business have been going on forever, but between the Wall Street bailout, the BP oil spill, and the current budget legislation, it seems oh so much more apparent.
I'm in college, but I really started paying attention to the news a couple years ago. Recently(probably the past year), I've been getting more and more of my news links from Reddit, although I still browse news sites from time to time. The picture being painted keeps getting mroe and more frightening.
Of course we've heard about the big scandals and crises from before our time, but were there always this many bad things happening back to back? Is this constant barrage of corruption something new, or is it something that has just been brought to light by the online communities like this one, and efforts like those of Wikileaks? Is it just because I've been paying more and more attention to the news? Or is this all just sensationalism?(I really don't think it's this last one, but it's always a possibility. A verrrry slim possibility.)
TL;DR: | If you've been around for a while, was this much bad shit always happening? Or am I just growing up and seeing the real world for the first time? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Guy (25) and me f(20) have something... But he is still recovering from a (recreational) drug induced psychosis.
POST: So... I refer to the wisdom of the socially integrated and crazy partiers of Reddit. (note; that may be a slightly sardonic tone)
Also this is a throwaway cos, you know, I don't want to be found out by anybody.
I just moved to a large city with a pretty well known recreational drug scene... On looking for a flat I met this guy. And we instantly clicked.
I'm younger than him, studying in a prestigious uni, stable life and loving mother... I have my particularities but this guy goes far beyond me; brother is a heroin addict, mother is depressed, says himself that he was not given any values from his family. Well, six months ago he had a very bad experience with drugs (ghb, speed, then clinic and all the drugs associated to these mental institutions; xanax, taro etc etc...) He is recovering, and completely clean. For example; he did an IQ test and apparently the result was 45. After 8 months he's up to 120.
But; he doesn't go out. Hasn't started his studies again, feels panic at the idea of large groups of people, his memory is fucked up.
Basically, my question is not whether or not I should start something, it's rather in terms of how to deal with the psychosis aspect: any tips, how can I be of help to him, anything that I might not be taking into consideration in the potential relationship when you suffer from that kind of experience...?
TL;DR: | Guy is cray, girl is a little cray but she hasn't taken as many drugs as him, he is still recovering... If they start something, how can the less insane one (theoretically her) help? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by trusting Google Maps.
POST: Sorry for any typos, I'm on my phone.
This is currently happening, which is cool. I'm sitting in my car right now waiting for help.
Tonight I was supposed to go to a New Years/housewarming party for my friends who just moved out of town. My drivers headlight just went out, so I borrowed my mom's car to make the drive. I entered their coordinates into Google Maps, and away I went. Nothing eventful happened until the road suddenly stopped. I had driven right off the road. Fuck up #1.
Fuck up #2: In my mind I'm going "Okay, you're stuck in snow, what do you do? Never reverse. Alright. Got it." Which would be great advice if I hadn't interpreted that to mean that the opposite of reversing is accelerating, and thus I should absolutely keep driving. Despite being off-road, driving through a field of 'not very deep but deep enough to get me stuck' snow, I kept going. I figured maybe I'd make it all the way to the road on the other side of the field and just be fine. Of course this did not happen, and instead of getting unstuck, I finally came to a stop exactly half way across the field.
I called my dad, he's using his CAA membership to get the car towed. I still have no idea how I'm going to get to him. I'm 800m down this road due to my incredibly stupid lapse in common sense, and there's 600m to the other side. I'm wearing dress shoes. I don't have boots. I am not prepared for a Canadian winter, which was extremely stupid of me.
So now I'm sitting here, waiting for a call back from my dad to let me know if CAA will come soon. Not sure how in even going to get to the road. And I was too embarrassed to tell the truth, so I texted my friends and told them a family situation had come up so I would be late, or maybe not come at all. To those of my friends, at this party, who read this subreddit: yep, its me.
TL;DR: | I trusted Google Maps and it repaid my trust by leading me astray, causing me to be stranded in dress clothes with no winter wear in my mom's car on New Years Eve. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Not sure how to handle rogue sister [30F] with terrible personality and no job that's ripping apart my family
POST: She fights with everyone in the family basically all the time (especially my mother) and it creates an awful family environment at home. For quite some time, she was living away from home because we couldn't handle her (parents' house in another city) but now she is back at home causing all sorts of trouble.
First, she has no job so she relies on my parents' allowance and stays home all day long. Her background is in art which doesn't help at all in getting a job. What's worse is she has no motivation to work. She likes to play all day doing nothing (traits of a spoiled child).
Second, her personality is just terrible. Inconsiderate, mean, lying, shady, rogue and violent. Honestly, not sure what to do about this one. Maybe therapy? I don't know why she turned out this way since she's living life without much worry (stable home, steady allowance, etc). She blames mom and dad for everything and is never thankful.
Third, I want to move out partly because I don't want to live with her and enjoy freedom. What is the best course of action since it'll be hard for my parents to handle her if I move out. They are not home for months at a time and she might trash the house (she does not take care of things at all).
Should we just make her live alone somewhere? My parents are just worried she will make weird and shady friends (she already has quite a few from what it seems). Send her to a bootcamp? Therapy?
Honestly, if she were my child, I would have disowned her. The things she does is simply unacceptable in anyone's eyes. The violence, car accidents, trashing the house, fighting parents 24/7, lying, complaining 24/7 and so much more.
I am just trying to help my parents out because I cannot think of a decent solution.
Just FYI, she is the oldest child in the family and we are Asian.
Thank you in advance. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
TL;DR: | mean, violent, lying sister causing trouble at home fighting everyone. no job, no motivation, horrible personality. how to handle her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25F] with my boyfriend [30 M] have been together over 2 years and I want him to stop hanging out with someone
POST: My boyfriend and I use to have this mutual friend but I stopped being friends with her and her and my boyfriend weren't really even friends.
She admitted to my boyfriend she has feelings for him and he rejected her. Now she's starting to work her way into his life.
I asked him not to associate with her. He thinks I'm being controlling. I genuinely don't think I'm asking anything out of the ordinary.
Am I being unreasonable/ controlling by asking my boyfriend to stop hanging out with a girl who likes him and is actively trying to get with him? What should I do?
TL;DR: | boyfriend is hanging out with a girl who likes him. Am I being unreasonable/controlling by asking him to stop? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me[29M] got dumped by [21F] after 5 months. She just stopped talking to me. I am finding it really hard to deal with.
POST: I met a girl through a friend who i was seeing and leading to a relationship for 5 months; Initially she was supposedly very into me and we would hang out every week. * her and i would always communicate through texts b/c i didnt want to be pushy, considering she had come out of an abusive past two relationships so i didnt want to rush her also considering i was older. * Over time she would take longer and longer to respond back to texts or calls and when i would bring it up she would just say she didnt mean anything by it and she just was busy; given i was told she was like that with her friends also.
The last time we went out with a group i wouldnt say much, she asked me what was wrong, and i wouldnt tell her b/c i wanted time alone to talk. Lets just say, i never got the chance. After that, I invited her over, she flaked on me, i would call her she would say she would meet, and then she would flake on me. So i just gave up.
A month later, she texted me saying she cared about me and still wanted to remain friends. i said sure but i would of liked to talk to her about the situation, but not to change her mind; she didnt even bother replying.
Recently after two months, i asked if she wanted to grab a coffee just to catch up and she made make some excuse about work, but she said she would really like to, and next time she would come out for sure. I asked her out to a movie two weeks later, at first she said yeah, and then she said her friend just invited her to birthday so she wasnt coming; obviously i would assume it was made up.
TL;DR: | Anyone have any thoughts about my time with her? What is wrong with what i did or me - please note, i did treat her very will? Im finding it very hard having her treated me like that. |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: [Missouri] Home seller said water in basement was from busted old water heater, now know basement leaks. Failure to disclose?
POST: My girlfriend is in a bind: she purchased an old house with an unfinished stone/gravel/concrete basement. The seller said that water in the basement was due to a leaking hot water heater that they replaced. They closed on the house (a year ago) and she has since discovered that the water in the basement appears when we get a heavy rainstorm or snow melt. The water does eventually drain out (I don't know where) and there isn't any carpet, drywall, or wood that appears to gets affected. In an especially heavy rain (like we've been having in Missouri this summer) the water will collect and puddle in the northwest corner, but it isn't like there is an inch of two of standing water in the whole basement like I've seen other people deal with.
She spoke with a family friend who advised her to get the seller's disclosure statement, which says something to the affect of "basement can get damp." Does she have grounds to go after the seller for failure to disclose? When she goes to eventually sell the home, what is she obligated to disclose? Is this something the home inspector glossed over (this is a whole other issue - we have reason to believe the home inspector glossed over other issues with the house in order for the sale to go through. The home inspector was recommended by the realtor).
I've always been told that moisture in a basement is a death sentence. It kills the value of a home and is expensive to fix. She'll have a hard time selling the house when the time comes.
It should be noted that almost all the homes in her neighborhood are +/- 100 years old and experience the same issue, unless the owner paid a ton of money to install major drainage/sump. People just don't put stuff that can be damaged by moisture in the basement and don't bother with finishing a basement.
TL;DR: | basement seems to take on more water than was disclosed by seller, is there reason to take recourse? Is the home inspector at fault in any way? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How can I [20M] become more romantic for my girlfriend [19F]?
POST: Im a 20 going on 21 year old guy in his first relationship. Ive been with girls before but never in an actual relationship. Im a idiot when it comes to signals, emotions, & being romantic. I cant even hold her hand first without her doing it first bc I just forget to think that it would be cute. I feel so embarassed when she has to give me "chances" to be romantic bc Im too pathetic to think of these things myself.
It just sucks that she has to trick me/bait me into doing cute things that I should know how to do. It really really eats at me and I feel like Im a shitty boyfriend. She says she likes me alot and im nice but for once I wanna be more than the "nice guy". I wanna be the guy that knocks her socks off in some way but I just dont know how. Lately ive been thinking maybe Im just better off single if I cant even do simple things like remembering to hold her hand.
Any advice on how to be more romantic? If she says shes happy regardless should I just continue being an emotionless rock and stop worrying about it?
TL;DR: | How can I be more romantic & surprise my girlfriend without her having to ask me? Should I even care & accept I'm not emotionally cut out for it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/running
TITLE: Aiming for 1:40' in half-marathon this week-end and need advice
POST: Hi everyone,
'bout time I post something here and stop lurking; I need a bit of advice. I picked up running about a year ago, and my 2011 new year resolution was to start running half-marathons. My official resolution was to run one every quarter. That quickly turned into one half-marathon race per month, and to ~12 milers on the week-ends I don't race. I of course don't train only on these runs, and try to go running two other times a week for shorter distances (usually 5 to 7 miles).
I finished my first half-marathon in January in 2 hours (non-race conditions). In February I was down to 1:54' in real race conditions, and in March I blew my PB with a 1:45' time. I'm really proud of my progression so far, but I'm aware that I will very soon hit my lower limit given my current training (and eating+drinking ;p) habits.
I'm running the Santa Cruz half-marathon this coming Sunday, and I would like to speed it up a bit, aiming for 1:40', or 100 minutes. It's more of a psychological/symbolic objective, but I'm not too far from it. Last week-end I ran 12.15mi in 1:34' (7:45min/mi pace), which puts me really close to my target, and I didn't feel like I was pushing myself very hard either physically or mentally like one can do in race conditions.
So, here's my question: how can I make sure I can squeeze that extra mile, with a slightly faster pace? I'd need 7:38 pace to get it done in 1:40', but at the faster pace, I'm not sure I can keep it up throughout the entire race.
I also realize you usually don't run at that exact pace with swiss clock precision during the entire race. So, any advice on a "strategy" that could get me there?
TL;DR: | want to run a half in 1h40. PB is 1h45, and ran 12.15mi in 1h34 last week. Need advice on how to squeeze that extra mile in without bursting in flames mid-race. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [Update 2] Me [27f] with my SO [36m] 7 years together, He doesn't understand its not okay to hurt me to get what he wants
POST: Last:
I'm doing alright, but I'm back to ask for some guidance.
Relations with my family are tense. I've spoken to them once since my ex had me involuntarily held and they're holding to their belief that I'm schizophrenic and need supervision. I'm not okay with that and I've found and moved into an apartment of my own.
Last night I got a text from my father. My mother fell and was taken to ER, where they did tests and found tumors in her brain. They don't know yet if its benign, if its cancer, if its in any other parts of her body. We just don't know yet.
I wanted to go to the hospital right away, but my father told me she was heavily drugged and wouldn't have an actual room until this morning. Today she's going through a lot of tests while they figure out whats going on, and within a few days she'll be having surgery.
I don't know what to do. She's my mom, I need to be by her side and help my family however I can. But they still believe I'm crazy and won't accept that my doctors and psychologist say otherwise. And that scares me. I...really don't know what to do.
TL;DR: | Abusive ex convinced my family I'm schizophrenic and unstable. Mother is now in the hospital with brain tumors. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [37M] have decided to leave my wife [44F] of nine years. I can't imagine how I will say the words to her.
POST: I allowed myself to be pressured into marrying her and I have lived the past nine years in an emotionally numb state, feeling as if I gave my life away to serve someone else's needs. (The marriage provides her with much-needed financial stability.)
It was almost okay in the beginning, since we at least had a great sex life. But over the years, whatever connections there were between us have slowly dissolved. I have watched her become a full-blown alcoholic and pill addict. I have watched her lose multiple jobs due to irresponsible decisions and then spend *years* unemployed as I worked my ass off. I have listened to her criticize my family and exclaim at every opportunity how she could never, ever live near them (even though I have a really nice family). I have felt the stinging betrayal of her spending all my combat zone pay before I returned home from my deployment. And many other things.
I have decided to take my life back, which is both thrilling and terrifying. Fortunately there are no kids involved. However, we do own a home together. I would appreciate any advice about these things: (1) where do I live until the house sells? I can't afford both a mortgage AND a separate apartment. But I can't imagine living together after I drop this bomb on her. (2) How do I actually break this to her? She knows I am less than happy, but I believe she will be blindsided when I do this.
Anyway, I would appreciate any thoughts or advice.
TL;DR: | I am planning to end a nine-year marriage and need practical advice or wisdom from anyone who might have gone through this. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Not sure how to handle this situation, any advice?
POST: I (21F) work in a mall, I've had a crush on one of the security guards for about an year now and it seems like hes (31M) into me too (always has a big smile on his face when he sees me in the morning, comes into my store just to talk to me, tells me flirtatious jokes). But I'm not sure how to go about this.
I've invited him to company parties just so we have a chance to hang out outside of work but he couldn't make It. I don't want to ask him why he hasn't asked me out in case that makes it awkward. He's also divorced with two kids, which could be a reason but that's not a big deal to me. Should I just leave it alone or go for it?
TL;DR: | I have a huge crush on a guy at work, he seems to like me too but I don't want to make it awkward or mess up the friendship we've already built. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [24F] boyfriend [25M] and his upcoming genetic test results -- 50% chance he has a mutation causing early-onset dementia
POST: I'll try to make this short as possible. When my boyfriend's mother was in her early 50s, she began exhibiting erratic and socially unacceptable behavior for no apparent reason. Over the course of the next ~eight years, her condition deteriorated until she was aphasic and could not care for herself, and she eventually died of pneumonia as a result of weakened immune system. At some point, his family found out that she had a particular mutation causing frontotemporal dementia. It seems that her mother had it, too, although at the time they did not know what was happening to her.
Although our relationship hasn't been established that long (8 months), I know this is the man I want to marry, it's just a matter of waiting until the time is really right (we are both currently grad students). The worst part of the situation is that the mutation his mother had is autosomal dominant -- meaning he has a 50% chance of having inherited that same mutation from his mother, and if he did, he will be afflicted with the same disease she had. He just recently got the test done that will tell him whether he inherited the mutation, but we won't know the results for weeks.
My real question is, has anyone here dealt with anything like this before? I don't know how to support him, don't know how to help him, and if the results come back that he does have it, what then? How do we deal with something like that? It won't change my wanting to be with him -- 30 years with him would beat a lifetime with anyone else, but I just wanted to reach out and see whether anyone else had any advice as to how to proceed.
TL;DR: | In a few weeks, my boyfriend will find out whether he will develop early-onset dementia. Any advice for how to deal with potentially bad news? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Parenting
TITLE: A serious pain in the..... (cross posed to r/breakingmom)
POST: My son is 2.5 years old and since his birth I have been in some serious pain.
When he was born, I suffered a rectocele, which has been worsening ever since. The OB told me to do some 'exercises' to strengthen the muscle wall. I tried for 6 months with no results. My GP said I had to lose weight before I could have corrective surgery. I've lost 75lbs and how have a consult booked for the end of August.
My question is does anyone have any good tips on living with a rectocele? I've tried everything I can think of and I'm so sick of living in pain. I'm willing to suffer the embarrassment of asking to get some advice.
Explained by Wikipedia :
TL;DR: | I have been living with a rectocele for 2.5 years and am awaiting surgery. Tips for pain management? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My wife having serious sex problem
POST: Me(35) and my wife (34) dated 4 years and then got MARRIED .when we were dating we had physical relationship but not intercourse as she always wanted it on our first night.
so i always supported her..when we got married i got to know that she is scared of intercourse and having severe pain ( as its very common )..she asked to go really slow and i always made her comfortable..i tried many things like porn..soft porn..naughty sites..real ppl examples...
several blogs about sex and its problems...
but all on vain ..as she has precoupied mindset about sex is nothing but to feel only love syndrom..
we have been married FOR 5 yrs now..and she is least intrested about being intimate..although she always making excuses as most ppl do..like i am tired..its too late..i am sick etc..i am kinda very much sexual active( not with other than wife ) on web ..or other vurtual sources..i got to know that she has developed relationship with a girl..i found out and we had several chat about it too..initially she refused suchno hings HAPPENING but when that girl hurt her she confesses her love towards her..as my wife seems a true bi girl..she still into denial mode..but have seen flirting with other girls..which i am ok with..i just want her to be happy and not to lie about anything to me..i dont trust her for sure..but love her so much..now i have developed this polyamorous thought abd shared my thought to my wife..she again in denial mode after agreeing to me..i am really confused and frustrate from inside with her behaviour...even though i have never showed her my inner pain..please suggest me how to go forward with her...divorce is never in my mind..
TL;DR: | I love my wife but she lives in wonderland. She is so poorly thoughtful about our sexual needs. She even have noGuts to accept abd stand on her sexuality |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: When hanging with some good friends today, it came to light that all of us had shart stories, whats the worst shart situation you've experienced?
POST: So i was hanging out with my best friend in the summer going into middleschool, we were walking around this small forrest reserve when we both felt the need to shit. All civilization being minutes away we both knew it would be too late, my friend runs off into a bush and all i hear is him unleashing a monster fart sound (he ended up wiping his ass with a piece of burlap fabric that was hanging off of a tree near him, which was pretty god damn gross and to this day i dont know what his thought process was when doing that). I on the other hand was a more civilized-minded person and decided it would be best to trek home or at least to the nearby recreation center which was 10 minutes away... the journey was going swimmingly until a small four foot wide creek appeared; like a fool i hesitated and slipped on the takeoff jump, mid air i knew what i had done. i dropped knee first onto the other side, put my hand down my pants to hopefully feel nothing. My hopes where destroyed, my hand emerged with wet poop on it. Without hesitation my friend shoved me into the creek, not understanding his motive it angered me at first, but then he ran back to my house, told my mom i fell in the creek and brought me a new pair of shorts and a shirt. to this day i dont think hes ever told anyone about the event.
he was a good guy.
TL;DR: | SHARTED MID JUMP OVER A CREEK, FRIEND SAVES THE DAY BY GETTING ME NEW SHORTS |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (20M) am crazy about my friend (20F) and am confused about the signals she is sending me. Never been in a relationship before. Advice needed.
POST: Bit of background I guess. I've always considered myself to be average/below average looking guy and as a result have never really had the confidence to ask anyone out. I've worked hard making sure my personality is my selling point and I think it's worked as I manage to make people laugh/feel comfortable around me.
Anyway, I digress.
The girl. She's everything I've ever wanted and more. We have a lot in common and talk more than our mutual friends who are in relationships talk to each other. We've been talking almost a year now and I only recently found out she had a boyfriend for two years (It seems she made the point of avoiding telling me this) when she told me they split up after she found him with somebody else. I've always had feelings for her but only fully realised how strong they where when it made me genuine angry that somebody had been with her and mistreated her.
The mixed signals have started recently. I'm in training around 4 hours away from where we both live and trains are fucking expensive. So I'm working up here and her and all our friends our going on a night out and she practically begs me to come (a bit of an exaggeration but she asked me several times). So I do it, I get 2 trains back home costing £60 and go out.
Then I get confused when whilst on the night out she can hardly look me in the eye and barely said a word to me all night despite my many efforts of starting a conversation, which just makes me incredibly confused about the whole situation.
I'm rambling so ill try and wrap this up. The next day she avoids the questions and puts it down to being "in a bad mood". Then two days ago she sends me a rather proactive or her just out the shower in just a towel and shit.
I don't really want to jump into asking her out even though I really want to because of her recent break-up. Although I need to do something soon as I go to sea for 4 months soon. (Engineer officer in training)
TL;DR: | I've never allowed myself to have feelings for a girl before. Now that I've fallen for a friend I'm confused about the signals she's sending me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 F] with a crush I want to get rid of, but he's not making it easy
POST: I've got a crush on an incredibly close friend I've made last year, who's unfortunately got an on-off girlfriend. Even worse, I told him my feelings when he got back together with her for the gazillionth time, in order to provide a reason as to why I'm becoming distant, and he goes "oh shit, why didn't you tell me earlier, I feel the same".
The really shitty bit is that he's still dating this girl though, which is awful on both her and me, but I'm his emotional girlfriend anyway and it's wearing me down. We've got a super tight friends' group, so I can't remove myself from the situation - how the hell do I get over this crush without jeopardizing friendships?!
He's constantly snapchatting and texting me, cockblocking boys from hitting on me by saying "hey, don't hit on her she's taken!", regardless of who I'm sitting next to he'll always wrangle a seat next to me, and is always about our future plans together - even to 10 years down the road. Every time I deviate the conversation to asking about his girlfriend, all he does is complain about her and then stare at me longingly. I've had enough. The worst thing is that I become firmly resolved, delete all his text messages and everything from snapchat, only to succumb a week later when he cracks an inside joke.
Our friends' group is unfortunately very, very close and we hang out a lot. Even though I hang out with a ton of other people, these are the people who make me feel most comfortable. How on earth do I proceed to stop myself from crushing on him?
TL;DR: | close friend won't leave his girlfriend but likes me and is using me as a safety net - how do I remove crush without affecting our tight-knit friends' circle? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Been apart for six months, now it might be forever... Help!
POST: I'm a 26 y/o guy, Australian. Recently been in Canada for about 3 years. Met a wonderful girl (21) over there, and it's been somewhat of a rocky road, but 18 months later -- we're still together, albeit the last six months of the relationship having been conducted over Skype.
We've been planning for her to come over here, an idea about which, up until now, she's been massively enthused about. Got to the point where she has her passport, visa is finalised, have the money for the ticket; she calls me this morning and tells me that she's having second thoughts, and wants to wait another month.
*Apparently* (as i've had no knowledge of this up until now) she hasn't had anything good to say about me to her friends in the last few weeks, is thinking about what she'll miss, and is generally freaking out. She says she still loves me, wants to be with me, but having been so keyed up for her arrival (supposed to be less than two weeks at this point) i'm completely fucking stupefied as to how things have changed so quickly. I've been engaging when we've talked (I think); laughed, had fun -- sent her some flowers for her birthday (which she barely commented on.)
I'm pretty sure there's no-one else in the picture, but i've always had trouble reading signals, and honestly, i'm fucking confused. My natural reaction would be getting pissed for being out of the loop for so long; I feel cheated, but i'm trying very hard to be magnanimous. I even said to her she could come out for a couple weeks, like a holiday -- see how it goes, and if it's not working i'd pay for her passage home (like I am for her to come here.) Not interested. She wants a month.
(She dropped this bombshell on me then proceeded to tell me she had to go to work, and we'd talk in the PM. Not impressed.)
Feels. Bad. Man.
Any help or advice anyone could give would be much appreciated. I'm a first time poster, so be kind :)
TL;DR: | Girlfriend has been super enthused about coming out to Australia to be with me and then had a massive change of heart almost instantaneously. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dogs
TITLE: [Help] my dog is still trembling with fear and scared of me after a fight with my other dog
POST: Hi! Some background info: I rescued a Husky cross (approx. 1 year old) about 3 days ago, and my mum has two dogs (a beagle, 7, and a toy poodle, 2) and we all live together. They are all spayed/neutered. They all got along well during their first few intros at the shelter a week ago. I was given the new Husky right after she was spayed and recovering from surgery which even the vet disagreed with, but considering the transition was going to be rough anyway - it took about a year for the beagle to get used to us after adoption- it was fine with me and so the first few days involved mostly just sleeping off anasthetic and and keeping the other two away from the new, big dog.
Earlier today I was in the yard with Heidi, my husky cross, throwing a toy around to try teach her some games (she hasn't figured out how to pick things up with her teeth yet) and the beagle tried to join in, leading to what looked like a very vicious fight between them but nobody was injured and it was easy to break up with a loud noise. Since then, the beagle has been visibly (from about 4m away) trembling and hiding under tables, not coming for cuddles when called like she usually does, even avoiding treats (which anyone with a beagle will know is SUPER weird) and staying completely on the opposite side of the room to both me and Heidi. I was able to get near enough to her to check her body for injuries (none) and give her a blanket to snuggle under in case shock has made her cold, but is it a hurt ego thing or is there something worse happening here?
I have arranged for a behaviour specialist to come down next week and teach us/me ways to build up the new rescue's confidence and their confidence in me and each other, but between now and then I just want to know if anyone else has any stories or advice about introducing a rescue dog and fights that may have broke out. Am I just going to have to play with them all separately from now on?
TL;DR: | dog fight led to one of my dogs still being scared of both me and the dog who attacked about 7 hours later. Not sure how worried I should be. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26 M] with my friend [26 F] known her for 1 week. Can't tell if we are more than friends
POST: This is an arranged marriage type situation. My [26M] family spoke to her family and tried to set us up. Let's call her Jane [26F]. She sent me a message saying that she was not interested in pursuing the relationship further. My theory on this is that her parents found out that I have a minor limp when I walk and didn't want to pursue it further.
Typically in this kind off a situation the couple would stop chatting and move on. In this case however, she has continued to chat with me (exchanging about 50-100 texts through the day). I can't tell if she has feelings for me (and whether it is her parents who are against the relationship). I don't know how to bring up the topic on a text.
TL;DR: | Girl and I hit it off. Parents maybe against the relationship. Don't know how to ask if we are more than just friends. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [33 M/F] with my ex [24 F] after 4 years, broke up but own a company together. I need closure.
POST: Six weeks ago, after four years the relationship between me and Karen (fake name) ended.
Long story short, I ended the relationship after feeling neglected for months, after I did plenty of effort to change things.
We work together, own a business together, so we're still in constant contact. Having broken up makes it easier to talk about certain things (the business, our past), but makes it very hard to get over her.
I stopped myself earlier from trying to get in her facebook profile to check who she's talking with, I fear she's already lining up a next boyfriend. At the business she's constantly chatting while her main work is finished. She takes care to close her chat windows when I pass by, and always closes her facebook when she's away from her laptop.
I realize it's none of my business who she's talking with, and that's why I'm here.
I need help, advice, a friendly ear perhaps.
Full disclosure: One of the main reasons why I broke up with her, is because I read a chat of hers on facebook where she was badmouthing me. Calling me lazy, inventing stories that put me in a bad daylight. She met with a facebook friend of hers behind my back, after which I demanded to read the log, because I wanted to know what was going on.
TL;DR: | I'm jealous of the people my ex talks with. I need closure from this relationship, so I can continue with my life. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My[19M] ex-gf[18F] might want me back after dumping me for the second time and i dont know what to do because i feel lonely.
POST: We had a two and a half years long relantionship. About a year ago she cheated on me and i actually took her back. It still feels horrible to think about. She broke up with me again last month and i went no contact up until yesterday when she messaged me asking how i'm doing. Now, i know it doesnt necessarily mean anything, but i just have a feeling that she wants to get back.
I consider myself a good looking person and i have no problems with talking to people. The problem is that when i was 15 i simply lost interest on people. I actually enjoyed being alone until i was 17 and we started dating. Besides her, i only had one friend over these years. I am feeling really lonely and since i am a NEET, i have nothing to do all day besides thinking about the past and now considering accepting her back even though she is just using me. (She already told me she doesnt love me many times).
TL;DR: | Cheating ex gf might want me back. I have no friends and no one to talk to. I dont know what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Just ordered an HDTV and it came in with a shattered screen from shipping damage, called company, was offered options.
POST: I got a Coby 40" LCD HDTV 60hz. I figured it was time to upgrade to an HDTV in my room, especially since I'm getting an OUYA soon which only has HDMI outputs. I paid $250 for a refurbished that was in excellent condition minus a few scuffs on the frame. Cool. So I go to take it out of the plastic and... bummer, the screen's shattered. I call the company. Note that I'm 3 hours ahead of the company (time-zone differences).
The lady on the other end says she'll have a FedEx truck come out and pick up the TV from home for me since it was their doing. She then offered me multiple replacements. The first one was an off-brand which I researched online and it had terrible reviews. I kept her on the phone for a good long while, until she starts listing off decent TVs (which I quickly kept Googling from my smartphone to get a quick review sketch). One of the TVs she offered me was a Philips 40" HDTV 240hz with built-in wifi. She said it has a scuffed frame but aside from that its in good shape.
Now I'm waiting on an Email from her with pics of the TV before I make a decision. I'm probably going to go for it. This TV sells for $1100 new and $400 used on Amazon (its a refurb). So, the big question is, do I sell the Philips and get a cheaper TV and keep the profits from it? Or should I keep the Philips, seeing as 240hz is what people are leaning towards these days?
NOTE: I'm getting an OUYA so I don't care about the built-in WIFI. I can just watch Netflix from the OUYA anyways and we have a Roku downstairs hooked up to our 50" that I can also use streaming sites on. What would you do?
TL;DR: | Cheap 40" HDTV I ordered broke in shipping, getting a really fancy upgrade, should I sell the replacement TV for profit and get another cheaper one, or should I keep the new fancier TV? What would you do?* |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Neighbor's cats piss irritating my tenants.
POST: I currently have a townhouse which I am renting out. However, the neighbor owns a few cats who keep peeing in the backyard of his property. The smell is terrible and it keeps leaking onto my property which is currently being rented out to tenants. They have complained to me multiple times, and I'm afraid they might move out if I don't solve the problem. Normally, complaining to the manager of the homeowner association would work, but my neighbor is the manager of the homeowner association. I've spoken to him about the problem as well as e-mailed him several times to no avail. At this point in time, I'm unsure what to do.
TL;DR: | Neighbor's cats keeps peeing on his property. The smell is terrible and lingers onto my property which is being rented out. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Friend (26F) canceled plans to hangout because she didn't want her parents to meet me (25M) do I have a right to be mad?
POST: My friend (26F) and I (25M) have known each other for about 7 months now. In that time, we've grown to be best friends. We spend a large amount of time together, and are extremely close. We know so much about each other, and share everything. With that being said, the incident today really hurt me.. & I wanted to know if I was justified in being upset.
Yesterday we had made plans for today to spend it together. Come 8am she gives me a call and tells me we have to cancel because her mother will be there. She doesn't want me to meet her parents because she's afraid they'll think we're sleeping together. She doesn't want them to 'mock her' or insinuate anything about us. She's not really afraid of it. She just doesn't want to have to deal with it.
To some degree I can understand this. Her parents are from an older generation. Maybe it's hard for them to see their daughter with a male friend. However, she's 26 years old. Very super independent. Doesn't live with her parents. Why should she still be conflicted with her parents and let them control who her friends are.
It hurt me a lot. We're so close. To me it was just saying, "You're a good friend, but not good enough for me to have to deal with my parents about." I felt like she threw me to the sidelines, and is taking me out of an aspect of her life. Pretending that I don't exist. I would never do that to someone I consider my best friend. Someone I care about. I'm not going to hide them in the closet because I'm afraid of what my parents, or any other person might say. We're both adults here. Shouldn't she act like it in this situation?
Do I have a right to be mad, or am I making this situation worse than it is?
TL;DR: | best friend doesn't want me to meet her parents. Is worried they'll think we're sleeping together. Canceled plans to avoid me meeting her mother. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (24M) girlfriend sometimes claims she (23F) sent a specific text but it never came through. This happens only during important texts....
POST: So there was an issue when she left me hanging after asking her some direct questions via text. I was opening up and relying on her for an answer, and she was awol for 7 hours. She phoned later but I was busy, and then another hour later texted me an answer.
Later that night, she said she sent a text an hour after receiving my text. Tech issues! She claims and this type of thing had happened several times before, usually with "I did call you like 5 times" even though I never got one. It's concerning to me, and I don't know if she's bluffing.
Anyhow, last night I was called her bluff over the phone and said "you say you sent it, so it would appear on your phone. Even though it didn't go through to me, you'd have it so send me a screen cap or let me see your phone next time." Now, I know this is kinda uncool, as I'm distrusting her, but I would feel much more at ease knowing that there are actual tech issues and she's not just lying to me to appease the situation.
She said that's very intrusive to see her phone and got pretty defensive, though I KIND OF see where she's coming from. I would never ask to see her texts to others, and she has some baggage about that from past bfs. I said this is completely different, but whatever.
Now my perspective is unclear and I believe she's probably covering it up, though in this particular situation it isn't very big deal.
It's stupid I can't trust her, but she's a fairly poor communicator in many situations. She's done some shady conversing before, and hadn't done much up earn my trust, except she hadn't done much to earn distrust. It's always some "I didn't think this was important" or "I did text that!".
So, am I overacting?
TL;DR: | I am not sure if my gf is lying about tech issues via text. Is it uncool to ask her to show me the claimed "sent"message on her phone? |
SUBREDDIT: r/askwomenadvice
TITLE: F25 wondering whether to date wealthy M50
POST: I (F25) met an older man (M50) in a pub recently. I was quite drunk by the time of getting to the pub and he immediately started to chat me up and quite quickly told me how wealthy he was and that he would take me abroad "any where that I wanted to go".
Now I understand this could have been total bullshit, but he kept buying rounds of drinks for me and my friends, offering to buy champagne etc.
I am not normally a gold digger type but I have recently got out of a seven year long awful relationship and at the moment, the prospect of dating this guy and him treating me like that seems very exciting. I'm not naive, I know what he wants and at the moment, I like the idea of seeing someone but with no emotional 'ties'.
He wants to take me out for dinner this week and then he said he will take me to a 5 star hotel in Amsterdam in November. Should I see him again and 'have an adventure' or not take the risk?
TL;DR: | ! - Met an older, richer man in a pub who said he would pay for me to go abroad with him. Do I go? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [19 M] family's exhange student [17 M] is really nice, but very annoying. How can I help them?
POST: I go to an out of state university, and I was recently studying abroad in Japan. While I was gone (three weeks ago, about), my family acquired a Brazilian exchange student. His old host family was having some family issues, so he needed to move to a different home. My bro (15) volunteered, thinking it'd be fun, plus it'd be nice, whatever.
He is so, so sweet. Really. Like, one of the nicest guys I've ever met. But he needs some serious help. He is always asking for help with the dumbest things (he asked me to help him peel a sticker, once), he is very physical with everybody (my family is very uncomfortable with physical contact), and constantly needs to be interacting with other people (my family needs their quiet time every once in a while). He is also weirdly competitive, and whenever we play games together as a family, he gets very upset when he loses. On top of it all, he is barely passing any of his classes in school, and may be returned to his home country because of it. My mom is a nurse, who often works with students who have special needs, and she believes that he has Asperger's and just hasn't been diagnosed.
I know my family should have taken this into account when getting an exchange student, but he really needed a place to stay, and was quite desperate. He's an only child at home, with a stay at home mom, so he's probably used to a bit more attention. However, he doesn't meld very well at all with our family. They haven't said anything about any problems to me, but it's very, very apparent that his presence is very taxing for them.
For now, while I'm on break, I will do my best to occupy him, and make sure that my family can have a little reprieve. They have to deal with him for the next 6 months. There needs to be some sort of long term fix, though, where my family doesn't go crazy, and he doesn't get his feelings hurt by getting kicked out of another host family.
Thanks for your help!
TL;DR: | Family volunteered to host an exchange student, turned out he is very immature, dependent, and a bit bothersome. Need some help resolving the issue before I go back to school. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My SO [24 F] of a year just sent me [21 M] a single rose that was delivered by the florist
POST: So she sent me this rose with only a note that says "I love you xxx". I understand why she sent it and what she's trying to get across but; Currently we are living on a rather strict budget where I'm swapping career paths and have only just been recently employed and she has only just received her first paycheck from her new job.
The thing is, I know that the rose would have cost around $50 to have sent to our home and she should know that I'm not materialistic and rather economically minded as it had been discussed before. I almost get the feeling that she doesn't really understand me or that she has to prove her love to me with these kinds of gestures. To me it seems rather childish and irresponsible.
The question is: Should I have any right to be as upset as I am for this gesture? Or am I just being far to frugal and quick tempered?
TL;DR: | SO sends expensive flower, money is short, I'm upset due to irresponsibility, Am I right to be upset? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me[28M] with my GF [26/F] 6 years, I had a crush that has become too real...
POST: We have been together for 6 years. There was a moment 3 years ago where she ended it for 5 months. I don't know if she saw someone else immediately, but I know she began dating another man. I was generally having flings. We started back up while they were still together, but she ended it quickly. It was a long distance relationship. We have been living together for the past 3 years and I have an honest deep love for her. We have several mutual friendships (couples).
I worked professionally under a strong woman recently. We closely solved problems and gave presentations/prepared reports together. I was smitten by her very early, she was talented and driven. I mentioned my relationship about 3 months into the job. I never thought she reciprocated feelings, but we were generally very playful in conversation. I assumed she was out of my league. I was oblivious.
The company we worked at closed shop. She was immediately very helpful in preparing me for finding work. I'm so grateful. I haven't had sex with my GF in 3 weeks, and in a fit of hormones and emotions or whatever, I was actually pushing my crush out of my life with text messages that described why we couldn't be together. But, in that exchange, we revealed to each other fantasies we had about one another. I started it like an idiot, and she fired back with one that was really great.
I feel evil, I feel like I've cheated, I masturbated, I'm shaking.
TL;DR: | I love one woman, and I am being driven crazy by the aspects of another. I think I may have gone too far... |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Am I right to defend the boyfriend of my long-time female friend?
POST: Apologies for the long post, but it's a little complex. I guess if it weren't, I wouldn't be posting at all. Anyway, here goes:
I'm in love with a long-term female friend of mine; she knows this, but does not feel the same way. She's dating someone else, who is, by all accounts (mostly hers), a generally good guy. For obvious reasons (I'm a good male friend of his girlfriend who he knows I have feelings for), he's not especially nice to me. I've accepted her decision, and I'm trying to move on.
However, last night, she texts me telling me that he's spent the day, when he was meant to be taking her out, ignoring her, making her feel like shit in front of his family, refusing to spend any time with her unless he could avoid, and similar. This is certainly not a common occurrence; however, this has happened before.
I defended him, reminding her of everything good she'd told me about him. She then called him, but he hung up on her whilst she was in tears. I, obviously, did not think this was good boyfriend behaviour; however, my credibility in such matters, given my role, is compromised. She told me that she loves him, and, since he seems to make her very happy, I've been supporting their relationship as best I can.
However, after this event, I'm torn. There's a part of me that wants me to tell her to try to "force" him to be a better boyfriend, even though this runs the risk of them breaking up. However, I defended him nonetheless. I'm just not sure if I'm doing the right thing, and it's just my feelings for that are making me want her take potentially dangerous action. Am I doing the right thing?
TL;DR: | Am I doing the right thing in defending the boyfriend of the girl I love, even though he was a douche, since he is mostly a nice guy? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Can someone convince me to vote for Obama over someone like Johnson?
POST: We all know the majority of redditors are democrats so I was wondering if you guys could sway my vote. I live in Arizona and up until now I was 100% confident in voting for Gary Johnson but the more I learn about Romney and how close the polls are I am starting to worry.
I want to vote for someone I believe in but I do know that the chances of Johnson winning are slim to none. Alright, they are none. Do I stand by my beliefs and vote for who I believe in or do I suck up my pride and vote for someone just so that the last person I want in office looses?
One thing that would make me feel better voting for Obama would be the student loan program he rolled out which has helped me tremendously. Right now my loan payments are based off of what I make and without that I would be screwed financially.
I am open to changing my mind Im just very undecided right now
Thanks in advance for any help.
TL;DR: | I want to vote for Johnson because I believe in him but the last thing I want is for Romney to get Ito office. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [20M] gf [20F] of 1 year. Recently decided she wanted a break in order to go to parties, what do I do?
POST: My girlfriend has recently joined a sorority and she has quickly started becoming a different person. I didn't really mind it until this past Labor Day weekend she spent with one of her sorority sisters and is now saying we need to take a break because she wants to go to frat parties but doesent feel like she can because it makes her feel guilty since I can't go with her. (Non frat guys can't go to these parties apparently?)
She's told me she used to be big into partying in high school but she stopped when she went into college and now she says she feels like she lost who she really is and wants to be herself again. We talked for a few hours and she decided the best thing to do was take a break which I was against but eventually agreed on. I'm not that big of a party guy myself and maybe it's because I'm not American but after taking for a few hours I noticed that maybe we just have different views on relationships.
I really like her but I just don't really know where to go from here. I'm trying to not be overbearing and clingy but I just feel like it's a normal reaction to worry about a girl going to frat parties.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend wants to go to frat parties so decided to take a break, how do I deal with this situation? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I [23M] tell my gf [21F] that I don't want to spend that much time with her family without hurting her?
POST: I've been going out with this girl for a while (about 9 months) and I've found that I'm spending a lot more time that I'd like with her extended family. She does a lot of errands for them such as babysitting and stuff and her 6 year old cousin has taken a liking to me. I feel really bad about this because I don't like kids at all and the past 3 weeks I've had to give up my Saturdays by minding him.
Is there a way I can tell my gf that I don't want to hang around her family as much without seeming like a complete prick?
TL;DR: | Find myself hanging around with GF's family more than I like, how do I tell her I don't want to without annoying her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [21 F] I think that dad [59 M] is craigslist cheating with my mom [46 F]. He denied it, but I think he's lying.
POST: I was using my dad's laptop and discovered he has been looking at women's profile on craigslist. He also searched up an address online that belonged to a woman's profile. I also found 2 non-used condoms in the pocket of his car. He's retired and stays home while the rest of the family are at work or school so he has opportunities to go see these women (from 9am-7pm he's alone).
I confronted him about this. When I asked "Are you cheating with mom?", he had a long pause and then denied. The pause makes me think he was lying. He claimed that he was just talking to these women for fun. He also said that he was too old and knew it was dangerous to meet up people from craigslist. He promised that he would stop talking to them, but today I saw he has been looking at women's profiles on craigslist on his phone.
His behavior has changed. He's less open about his laptop and phone. He's less inclined to let me borrow them. He tried to get out of going on a weekend trip to our family in a nearby city, which he has NEVER done before (he always drives us).
I don't have exact proof that he went to see any of these women or have had sex with them. He denies anything other than talking to them. I love both of my parents, but they have terrible communication skills and fight a lot. I don't want my siblings to get hurt either.
I don't really know what to do at this point. I'm thinking to buy a GPS tracker to have proof of where my dad is going or installing a key logger (something to record what he's typing). Another option is to tell my mom, but honestly I don't think I can physically do it. I know it's selfish, but I just can't. I can't imagine my family breaking apart.
TL;DR: | Dad is talking to women on craigslist, I confront him about this and he denies cheating. I don't have proof he is cheating and don't know what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [27M] just broke up with my [24F] girlfriend... did I do the right thing?
POST: So I just broke up with my girlfriend of 2+ years - there is still a chance to "undo" this. I broke it off because I wasn't really feeling like I loved her romantically. She thinks it is because I didn't put enough effort into the relationship. She put a lot more effort into the relationship during the first half, and during the second half started feeling burnout at not having it reciprocated. She would ask me to do more romantic things, and I would maybe once and then not for a while. I did put a lot of practical effort into the relationship - like sleeping at her house before we lived together, buying food for our house, changing from graveyards to normal hours (at a pay cut), staying out with her on nights when I had work early next morning, ect. but I guess those don't count for romantic gestures.
I guess my concern is that the relationship could have been great if I did put in more romantic effort - I'm just not 100% sure if I'm not because I don't feel that way towards her, or if it's because I'm just lazy. If I really cared, wouldn't that counteract my laziness? (Less of a laziness - more of an interest in spending my time doing other things.)
She has been extremely unhappy for the last few months, probably because of our poor relationship - which is why I chose to break it off instead of letting it ride until maybe something gets better. She is a wonderful person and I hate that I feel like I had to do this.
Do you think more effort could have ended up with me feeling stronger about her?
TL;DR: | Broke up with my gf because I wasn't really feeling it. Maybe more effort would have fixed the issue, but don't feel I want to put that effort in with her, did I do the right thing? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: First date went well; planned second date got schedule-blocked. Too soon [22M] for another date with [21F]?
POST: I've known this girl for a bit over a month - we met in a class at our college, but only at the end of the semester - but we just had a first date a week ago (drinks). It went well, ended the night with a long kiss, and the vague expectation that we'd go out again after she got back from a week at home. We texted a few of those days that she was gone.
Today, I asked her out for a lunch/hike/walk date next Saturday, at a nearby park. I wanted to do a weekend so we could do something during the day, since we both have summer jobs.
She responded to say that her roommate (and best friend from high school) is having a birthday cookout, but that I should come. I totally respect the priority her friend takes over me, and accepted the invite because I figured it'd be fun anyway. And I happen to know some of the people on the guest list, so I won't be hovering around her the whole time.
**My question**: Would it be too soon to ask her out for for a date on some weeknight before then? I was thinking ice cream or a comedy show. I'd like to see her again (one on one) sooner rather than later, and also not let any attraction fade, but also don't want to come on too strong.
TL;DR: | Had a date and kissed. Tried to set up another date and got counter-invited to her friend's birthday party. Am I coming on too strong if I ask her out this week, before the party? |
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