input
stringlengths 104
2.4k
| output
stringlengths 70
268
|
|---|---|
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: My mom tested positive for methamphetamine and Oxycodone. Two questions: Is there any chance these could be false positives? And when have your parents shattered your illusions?
POST: Background: Lower middle class Indiana family.
My mom has been messed up for a couple of years now - alcoholic, thin, paranoid, abusive - but her health has deteriorated rapidly in the past year. She's very thin and frail, her legs are swollen to the point when she can't get around very well, and she's not able to eat anything or keep food down. She also complains of heart palpitations and dizziness.
She lost her job nearly 2 years ago and has no income or health insurance. We've been trying to get Social Security disability or supplemental income for her, but she was denied. Dad took her to the doctor last week and she was admitted to the hospital. I got a call Friday morning from a nurse (Mom gave her permission to call me) who told me that a blood test came back positive for meth and oxycodone and if I knew anything about it. I said I was shocked, but not surprised, as it explained a lot of her behavior for the past few years.
They wanted to keep her in the hospital for detox and behavior therapy, and they were hoping I could talk her into staying. She denied any drug use and refused to stay in the hospital. They released her with a script for antibiotics (UTI), vitamins, iron, and told her to drink Ensure and cranberry juice, rest and take better care of herself. My dad is with her.
Dad can't believe she could have access to this stuff and insists the results must be wrong. I can absolutely believe it. She worked graveyard at a factory for a few months before she lost her job. Those night shift workers are notorious for meth abuse in my hometown. I think she started then and wasn't able to stop.
My dad has been giving her ~$500 every month to pay her bills, but she only has a phone bill and credit cards. Turns out she wasn't paying on the cards, and they have gone to collection. The money has been going somewhere.
TL;DR: | Mom's led a secret life of drug abuse and debt. My dad can't believe it. Is there any way a hospital blood test can produce a false positive for meth and oxycodone? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Huge mess of a question
POST: (29 y/o M)
Recent Break-up:
She was everything I thought I wanted in a girl; euro, hot, sweet, very motivated to make it in her craft, and used to be a dancer at clubs (not a stripper, I'm referring to EDM clubs). At first she put in all the work, approached me first and then chased me. She even forced feelings on to me by always wanting me to be around and giving me hell if I wasn't. I eventually got real feelings for her and then she started to change. She was constantly mad at me for the littlest of things and used to belittle me all the time (I don't think you're man enough to take care of me, you're really immature, bunch of references of me being too americanized and even speaking my language like an american, etc) We eventually broke up, but she kept mind fucking me and I finally blew up on her today and finally ended it.
My problem:
My other gf was similar to this one, but a lot worse. Anyway, I don't know why I keep getting so attracted to this type of personality…I have a hard time getting girls I really like and only end up with ones that chase after me. I feel like the girls I really like always put up a really strong barrier up when I try to get them and I'm not sure why…maybe my lifestyle, friends, or looks that rise some flags for them. I don't think I'm a bad guy; I have a ton of friends and people speak very highly of me (except for the ones that say I smoke too much or that I'm to rolling too much, I actually don't do either that much but I'm around people that do). I feel like I'm constantly pressured from my family as well to find a girl, like there's something wrong with me for not having one.
TL;DR: | Sorry for the mess, it's my first post. I just want to know do I really raise flags, how do I get past barriers, and any encouraging words of wisdom on relationships. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [22 M] I want to send a romantic message but I'm wondering if it is creepy [27 F]
POST: About two years ago I met a beautiful woman through Okcupid. We spent only three days together but then she moved. She lives four hours away..
We are now friends on facebook, been friends for two years. She comments on my stuff sometimes. Gives me compliments. Very nice.
In the beginning we used to chat here and there, but we haven't talked in years. I don't talk to her because I'm scared. Scared I might say something dumb and ruin what I like. I like her a lot and I don't want those good funny feelings to turn sour by me fucking up.
I feel like, now is the time to talk to her. I want her to know how much I think about her. However, she is a lot older than I am. She probably isn't interested in me. I guess what I just want to say is that I never forgot about her? Is that creepy? I want to be romantic and sweet but I also don't want to be THAT guy. Or be creepy or put her off.
My message would have been like this: Hey Ashley, how are you? I never did forget about you. I do think about you a lot. That day when I picked you from the doctor and you were sitting on that doctor's bed, I thought you were the most beautiful and purest. Sorry I don't call you, I'm just really shy.
Might leave out that last part.
That is my sappy and pathetic message. I don't know if it is creepy or stupid or pathetic. Would she like that? Or would she think I'm creepy for thinking of her so much even though we haven't seen each other in years?
TL;DR: | Older woman I like who moved away and I want to send her a nice message that will make her happy without thinking I'm creepy. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I (25f) forgave him (25m) for deceiving me about a dating profile and found out there were more.
POST: We were in a LDR for 3 years. A few months ago my friend was on a stupid escort/dating site and saw him on it. Pics and everything. He denied it for a week until admitting that he made it when he was high (didnt know he was smoking). He proved he didn't use them as the site doesn't let you delete anything. He swore up and down there werent any more. I told him to tell me now or I cant move forward. Still said no only one. I forgave him because he was depressed and told me he was going to get help and stop the drugs.
We were doing fine. I was planning on moving in soon. He asked why I was a bit hesitant and I brought up the profile and how I felt hurt still. He got angry and stopped talking to me. Came back and apologized. During this time, I decided to do my own search to see if there were any more. Simply googled his email and there was. Two profiles. I don't know how to proceed. It doesn't look like he really used these either though.
TL;DR: | found more dating profiles after he swore there was only one. Am I overreacting or is he just a liar? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Am I (M24) stabbing my friend (M31) in the back by dating his ex (F24)?
POST: I've known him for about a year, during which time we became very close friends. This was until I found out he very sneakily stole money from me. I kinda forgave him though not explicitly, and slowly but surely we started hanging out again. He's a drug addict. He thinks we are still friends but I don't trust him, although he trusts me. I've been a good influence on his life, and one of the only, if not the only true friend he has had lately.
He stopped seeing his wife a few months ago (they married for work papers more than anything else, no ceremony or ring) They both started sleeping with other people a while ago, she says she has cut contact with him. He was an emotionally and physically abusive husband. But they were in a serious relationship for 5 years.
His ex-girlfriend, but still technically wife, was my flatmate. Over the last month we became very close, romantically. She wants me to move in with her again. We want to be together. I haven't had sex with her because I don't want to do that behind my friend's back, I want to tell him what's happening. But I do want this to happen.
By getting into a relationship with his wife/ex-girlfriend, with whom he had a serious relationship for 5 years, am I betraying him?
TL;DR: | I'm about to enter a relationship with my friend's 'wife'. I feel like I am betraying him, but he is a bad friend and terrible husband. I'm losing sleep over it, should I be though? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [21M] Ex [21F] is still talking to my friends even after we've broken up. Am I overreacting?
POST: My Ex broke up with me about a month ago after a three year relationship. She broke up with me because she felt that she wanted "new experiences" with other people. This was, for both of us, our first real relationship. I was pretty side-swiped by the break up and took a little while to come back to reality but I've kept up with retaining no contact (although still have her as friends on my social media) and being active to get my mind off her. For the most part, I'm slowly beginning to accept that she is gone as I work on myself.
The problem, however, is that she keeps sending vines and tweets to my friends on twitter. This is something she has always done while we were together. The reason why its bothering me so much is because I am very close knit with my group of friends. I've been close friends with them since middle school. I introduced my friends to my Ex and I was the reason she was even associated with any of them. She never hung out with them without me. Half the time she didn't want to hang out with half of them.
This is bothering me because she still is prying into my life by talking to my friends while I'm still getting over her. She is the one who broke up with me, yet it seems like she wants her old life and she just doesn't want to be associated with me. My friends support me, but they don't want to straight ignore her and I don't want to pin them to choose a side.
Should I confront my Ex? Should I tell my friends to ignore her? Or should I just ignore the whole situation?
TL;DR: | Ex breaks up with me, still talks to my close friends on twitter. Am i right to be annoyed by this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: After over a year, she [30 F] finally admitted she didn't feel the same about me [30 M] anymore.
POST: First time posting on Reddit after lurking. Not sure what the point of this post actually is, if I'm totally honest.
Summer 2012: I hinted to my friend that I was attracted to her – to my surprise, she said she was very much attracted to me. We spoke all the time on Facebook, phone etc – we live a few hours apart, so don't see each other much, but when we did we had our intimate moments together.
We were never officially a couple since she had (and still has) a lot of issues to deal with – I won't go into details, but it wasn't fair to push for something she wasn't ready for.
This year, she's maintained she's not quite ready for a relationship but is still attracted to me – although I've found her increasingly distant.
Today, she finally admitted she hasn't felt the same for a long time; although she says she isn't seeing anyone else.
We were never an 'official' item, so I suppose there's no 'status' that's lost, but I'm allowed to be hurt. I might have to see her in a few days too.
Not sure what I'm hoping to achieve with this post, just feeling very lonely now.
TL;DR: | Friend and I were mutually attracted to each other but never 'officially' a couple – today found out she hasn't felt the same for a while. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I think my roommate has some serious emotional issues. How do I confront him about this without making things worse?
POST: First, some back story:
I recently moved into an apartment with one of my friends. I haven't known him too long, and whenever we would hang out it was never for more than a couple hours. Everything about him seemed perfectly normal. I knew he was having some trouble with his girlfriend every now and then, but other than that he seemed like a well-rounded individual. He kept to himself and I had never seen him upset.
That changed about a week after we moved in. Normally, we would meet at the gym after work, but this day he didn't show up. He texted me some bullshit excuse like, "I forgot my shorts, so I'm not going." I finished my workout and went home. When I walked in he was inside screaming on his phone and shivering. I didn't say anything to him and he just went to his room and locked the door. I could still hear him screaming and banging stuff around. About 15 minutes of this went on before he came out of his room and showed me that he ripped his phone in half. He then said he was pissed and he would be back, then he left.
The next morning, he acted like nothing happened and said he needed to buy a new phone. I still didn't say anything to him about it and kind of joked around saying he needed to upgrade anyway. So far, these rage fits have occurred about once a week, and he almost always leaves the apartment for a few hours. He hasn't been directing anything at me, and I'm not entirely sure how to talk to him about whatever is making him act this way. So I just need some advice on how to do this.
TL;DR: | My roommate has extreme fits of rage and forgets about it the next day. How do I talk to him about it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [24/m] My gf [24/f] and roommate [24/f] do not get along.
POST: So my girlfriend of 6 years and I finally moved to the city together. Hooray! It's San Francisco so there really wasn't any way to get a 1 br, and honestly, we got really lucky finding this place. The gf grew up with in a 4-person-family 1 bathroom house and hates the idea of having a roommate. This is her first time living not at home. Meanwhile, I moved away for school and have had many roommates over he past 6 years.
I get along with the roommate pretty well as we have a lot in common, but the gf and roommate seem to not have anything in common, and my gf now gets frustrated when I talk to the roommate about things she doesn't know about (i.e. Serial).
My gf is the type of person everyone usually loves because she's so sweet and cute and goes out of the way to help everyone. Unfortunately, she gets the vibe that roommate thinks herself better because she's been working a professional job longer, is more city-oriented, etc and makes a lot of condescending half-jokes about my gf's interests. While the jokes aren't explicit, they are starting to wear on her and it's gotten to the point where she doesn't want to be in the same room with all of us at the same time.
To make matters worse, my gf bottles up all her feelings because she's not used to having to work through relationship problems because until now, she can generally modify the environment to not deal with the person. Not the case here. We've been talking about bringing the issue up with the roommate, but it's a very awkward scenario because it's more a of vibe/feel thing than concrete put downs. There are never any arguments, just a bit of tension in the air.
It's starting to wear on our relationship and I hate to have my girlfriend feel so uncomfortable at home. Any suggestions? Thanks!
TL;DR: | gf and roommate do not get along. not sure if roommate even knows there's a problem. i get along with both. starting to wear on relationship. how we do we approach roommate? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Boyfriend called me by his ex-girlfriend's name?
POST: Nothing really makes sense to me anymore, so maybe I'm just overthinking it. Here's some background info. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 9 months. We were best friends prior to this, but were both in relationships with other people. He'd been dating his girlfriend on and off for 5 years. She was pretty much his only girlfriend. We left our significant others to start a relationship. We're both in our 20s.
He's very in love with me. He tells me all the time, he does things for me constantly (goes out of his way, etc), and everyone else has said that it's been that way long before we dated. He wasn't that way with his other girlfriend. I have heard from him and our mutual friends. And from what he told me, she just was some girl who started liking him in college, and he dated her because he more or less wanted attention and she was there. And that they both stayed in the relationship because they were too scared to be alone.
But he still talks about her. Not necessarily in a good or bad light but he does reminisce, and this makes me feel like he's not over her. She has contacted him a few times since they've broken up, so they're still friends. The other day he was talking about a shirt, and he told his mom that his ex had bought it for him, because his mom thought that she had. He then turned to me and said "why don't YOU buy me shirts?" I was really offended and talked to him about it later. He said that he didn't even realize I would take it that way and was just kidding around.
Then yesterday he called me by his exes name which he has never done. Maybe I'm overthinking it but it just doesn't make sense. I feel like he was thinking about her and accidentally said it. I'm just confused. I don't see why he wouldn't be over her if he didn't want to be around her or in the relationship while he was. He assures me that he's over her, but I'm thinking otherwise.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend is in love with me, but I feel as though he may still have feelings for ex. Could be crazy |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I [20F] get my boyfriend [19M] to open up to me?
POST: I'm new to this subreddit so please don't judge.
I have been with my boyfriend for about three months now. We were friends before we got together but I really did not know much about him.
My roommate hooked us up one day and him and I just kind of hit it off. But even back when we were just friends he didn't like to talk much about himself or his feelings.
I'm pretty open about what I like and how i feel a about certain things but I just cannot seem to get him to really open up to me. Does anyone know how I could maybe convince him to open up more?
TL;DR: | I cannot get my boyfriend to open up to me. I'm getting kind of worried that things might not work out. I need some advice. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by calling the cops on my neighbors
POST: So our house is across the green way from the neighborhood pool, I can stand on my porch and see the parking lot and pool. This afternoon we see a couple people parked at the very back of the the otherwise empty pool and parking lot drinking out of red solo cups and smoking at their car, we can't see anyone at the pool itself.
We watch them for about 10 minutes and decide to call the local PD dispatch and ask them to stop by to make sure the people are residents of the neighborhood, aren't doing illegal shit, etc.
After I get off the phone I see a couple kids splashing in the pool, now I figure it's probably these people's kids. We watch the cops show up, they talk for maybe a few seconds and the lady points back in to the neighborhood. They and the cops talk and laugh for a few more seconds and the cops leave. The lady then looks back at our row of houses and starts wagging her finger and then waving.
Apparently these people live in my neighborhood and I called the cops on them for being at the pool they pay HOA dues for, so now I feel like a dick. Part of me wants to find them and try to apologize, the rest of me realizes that would do nothing to help and I need to just learn something from this and move on.
TL;DR: | called the cops on a couple people smoking and drinking from red solo cups at the back of the community pool parking lot, turns out they live in my neighborhood. I feel like an idiot. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Exgirlfriend [25F] showed up drunk last night and stayed over, girlfriend [23F] doesn't believe I [27M] didn't cheat on her
POST: Last night I was out with my friends, came home and was watching some tv and my exgirlfriend was there on my porch, completely trashed and literally had no idea that she didn't live here anymore. I let her come in and I texted my girlfriend right away to let her know what was going on and I tried to get in contact with one of my exes friends but since I don't have Facebook I couldn't message anyone and I couldn't get into her phone for anyone's numbers. During all of this she was in the bathroom puking and sleeping with her head in the toilet. I had no idea where she was living since we broke up two years ago so I couldn't just call a cab and send her home so I just let her sleep it off in my bathroom, thinking that it was the responsible thing to do. I texted my girlfriend again to tell her this was happening but since she was asleep she wasn't seeing my messages.
Today I drove my ex home before I went to work and figured everything would be good but my girlfriend is pissed off and thinks I cheated and just said that to cover up any clues she might find that my ex was there. There's not any way I can prove that I didn't do what should I do? I'm not gonna let her berate me because of something she thinks I did, and tbh I would want any of her exes to let her stay the night too if she showed up that drunk.
TL;DR: | my exgirlfriend showed up drunk at my door and I let her sleep it off in my bathroom but my girlfriend is insisting I cheated. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How can I [19F] appreciate my SO [19M] more?
POST: Backround of our reationship: We've been together for about six months, which isn't enough to last awhile, but we are so compatible that we want it to. We talk our problems out, and in an instant we fix them with no fights. (At least no fights yet.) We are on the same page the majority of the time and for the most part, our relationship has been smooth sailing.
What happened: Since I can't drive (long story but it's something getting worked on) my parents and him are a source of transportation for me. I had a therapist appointment today, and since he used to go to the same building, he doesn't mind taking me there. (I don't want my parents to know. They're weird about doctors.)
Anyways, we were quiet on the way back and I knew something was up, but our silence with us isn't uncomfortable, so I thought it was normal. After I got inside I texted him asking him if anything was wrong. He then sent a five page text saying how much I don't appreciate anything he does for me.
I completely understand because I have a problem with forgetting to tell people that I appreciate all they do for me, but it still upset me to know that I've been doing a bad job at showing him I appreciate him.
So my question for you guys is how can I appreciate what he does for me more? I realize apologizing only works so many times, but I'm drawing blanks and need help. Anything is appreciated, and thanked very much.
TL;DR: | My SO told me that I don't appreciate him enough, how can I show my appreciation for all he does for me more? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: My GF (25/F) and I (25/M) have been dating for 3 years and due to some visa issues she will need to go back home to Canada in 4 months unless she gets married or gets sponsored for a VISA through a full time job. Do I marry her to keep her here or leave it up to her to stay? More details inside...
POST: Her visa expires in four months and I can't say that I am ready (financially) to marry her. If I marry her she will be living with me essentially rent free until she gets a job. She finishes her degree in April so in a perfect world I would only be covering her rent and food for a couple of weeks. However as many new college grads know, jobs aren't easy to come by. So many marriages today end in divorce primarily due to financial problems. It seems like we would be setting ourselves up for failure if we went down this path.
Me personally, I am ready to be married. In the three years we have been dating we have only had 1 fight and never had to "take a break" or anything like that. We each make up for each others' weaknesses with our own strengths and overall it has been an amazing three years.
I trust that she isn't playing me just to stay in the country. She could just stop taking her birth control if that was her goal.
The other option is that she goes back to Canada after finishing her degree and looks for a job while living in Canada. She has already told me that she isn't staying in the U.S. for work. She would be staying here for me. It's actually easier to find a job in Quebec for her due to the network she has.
Some of you might ask why I don't just move to Canada with her and at some level the answer is a selfish one. I have spent the last 3 years establishing a career and making myself an expert in my field. This field doesn't exist in Canada. Second, she is from Quebec, a primarily (almost exclusively in some areas) French speaking Providence. I can't speak any French and even if I started today i wouldn't be at the level of competence required to start building a career in Canada.
TL;DR: | I'm not moving to Canada. If I let her go back I may lose her forever. If I marry her, we may be setting ourselves up for failure due to financial problems. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [24F] reconciled with my [25M] ex of 3 years recently. We had aex almost a month ago and i justbfound out I'm pregnant.
POST: Throwaway because lots of reasons.
Basically, we dated, and broke up for some growth issues. Pretty simple. We start to hang out again, and one thing leads to another.. Even though I'm on the pill, he used condoms just to be sure. He's terrified to have children, at least this early.
Now I'm stressed. I haven't been feeling well and my body just seemed to be exhausted but I've been getting 12-13 hours of sleep per night. Noticed I was at the end of my "green" week (the period week of pills) and took the test. Boom, pregnant. 5 times confirmed.
Another problem being his mother despises the very thought of me existing. If she found out we hooked up again- or that we are now expecting a child, more than just a bitch fit will be thrown.
I'm panicked and don't know whether to man up and tell him, or to just keep a distance/break up. I don't want anything bad to happen to him family-wise because of me and I sure as hell do not want him to tell his mother. His mother is super pro-abortion in situations with "unwanted ones" and I'm afraid that's what she'll classify my baby as. And I'm not, *not* getting an abortion.
So what do I do, reddit? What do I say?
TL;DR: | had sex with ex-now-bf, just found out I'm pregnant. Afraid to tell him because of how his mother and he will react. What do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [M 16] need help boosting my girlfriend's [F 16] confidence to try oral
POST: I myself am not that old and so I have never received nor given oral and my gf and I have recently had a talk about moving in the direction (we have been dating for 5 months now). The problem is that she is fine with giving me oral and I am fine receiving, though she does not feel confident with herself enough to receive though I am willing to give. I am not pushing her to go through with it, but I want to have her on the same page as I am.
I would like to ask you guys as to how I can help her. I want to take baby steps as she is not even comfortable with he seeing her down below yet, so that would be a step to take. I am also aware that compliments go along way. Are there other things that you guys might suggest?
TL;DR: | gf is not confident with her body enough to receive oral. I need ideas to help her get more comfortable with herself. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I am a [20m] virgin who is scared to have sex with my friend [21F] she has more experience than me.
POST: Hi. First of all sorry for my bad englih.
Recently (for over 6 months) me and my friend set a relationship, not the one u wonder. This is the "just friends" relationship.
We are very good friends, we comunicate very decent, we hang out with our group of friends and everything is well set (we both know the rules even if we dont have talked about them) we are not too dumb to ruin our friendship. And sometimes both of us turns really romantic with the other
Recently we start talking more, spend more time together just like a real relationship but with no strings attached. After that a few times we were about to have sex, but i didnt have condoms and im virgin, my big fear is being a dad at this age. Anyways, she is not virgin like me, im nervous about it, i really want give her a good time, i know im pretty good with my fingers but thats no all.
Probably after we have sex (not happen yet) our behaivours will change im not sure at all but things may turn a bit different.
I'd love to read some tips about all i mention before, i really appreciate it. Thanks!
TL;DR: | im a 20 years old virgin guy who is involved into a "just friends" relationship and is scared about having sex. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I'm [older teen/m] and she's [older teen/f] and we both like each other. We both have very different religious standpoints, and it bothers me much more than it bothers her.
POST: **My very quick religious background:**
I grew up in a very Baptist Christian home. I myself am agnostic, but I know quite a lot about Christianity and a few other religions.
**Story:**
I met this girl a couple weeks ago while at the supermarket. She is pretty, slightly shorter than me, fairly fit, and has reddish-brown hair. Look wise- my perfect girl. After texting her and chatting with her on the phone, she was quite funny too. (I consider myself a pretty funny guy, so this is important to me.)
When we got to talking more she said she was Christian (she believes but does not act Christian, according to what I've studied) and asked if I believed, I said no. She asked me why and I gave her my list of reasons why I don't believe in God (or any other). She seemed okay with it and I was too. But she mentioned she didn't "believe in evolution", and that is when I got the sad feels.
I'm not sure I can be with someone who denies that sort of thing. I just need some sort of advice.
TL;DR: | She believes our ancestors we banished from a garden for eating some fruit and have stayed the same for a few thousand years. I believe that random mutation and "survival of the fittest" has brought us to what we are today. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I(F22) slept in friends(M23) bed a couple of times and my bf(M22) found out. Need advice.
POST: I have put myself (22F) and my boyfriend (22M) in a terrible position. We have been together for two years and the first year we were long distance. While we were long distance, I would go drinking with my friends (I am currently a in college) and come back with them because we lived in the same apartment complex. One night I went back to my friends apartment after we had been drinking at the bar and while talking to one of them (23M) while he was in bed and I was sitting on his bed, I fell asleep. I then proceeded to lie to my significant other about it. This I know was a mistake and I wish I could take it back. Then me and that friend became roommates and me and my significant other are no longer long distance (but do not see each other regularly). A couple of months ago I was out drinking with friends again and we came back home and the same thing happened. While I was talking to him (my friend/now roommate) I feel asleep in his but woke up in the middle of the night and went to my own bed. I also didn't tell my significant other about it this time either because I thought he would leave (I am not trying to justify why I didn't tell him by saying this, I know it is wrong, it is merely a fact). Then today my significant found out about it and is incredibly upset (as he should be) at me. I have no idea what to do about it to make him trust or believe anything I say anymore.
There is a second problem. My roommate is also in a relationship and has been for over five years. My significant other wants to tell her and see her reaction believing she has the right to know. However, both times it was my fault, i.e. I fell asleep in his bed, he could have already been asleep so he did not have the chance to tell me to leave. Therefore I feel I have no right even asking if he told her or telling him that he should because it was my fault. I don't know what to do.
TL;DR: | I drunkenly slept in my friends bed twice and didn't tell my boyfriend. He found out about it and is upset and wants to tell my friend's girlfriend about it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My Ex (19f) cheated on me (20m). After we broke up she saw a psychologist and went to therapy to try and deal with her comitment and attention issues. Now she wants to get back together?
POST: My ex girlfriend and I dated for a little less than a year. She's 19 and I'm 20. I found out she cheated on me with 2 different people so I blew up and ended it.
She has recently come into contact with me again. She is telling me about how she is in therapy and seeing a psychologist for her issues with comitment, sexual past and extensive need for male attention. It sounds like she has made progress but I obviously don't know the extent of it.
I want to get back with her but I need advice. Like yes she did cheat on me but she did identify that she has a problem and sought out help. Would it be dumb to give her another chance?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend cheats on me with two people. I broke up with her. She seeks out therapy and now wants to try again. What do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [26 M] My girlfriend [25 F] of 4 years is permanently moving across the world in less than a year!
POST: I'm really struggling and I need some advice.
My girlfriend and I have been together for 4 years. She is originally from the Southern Hemisphere (24hr flight away) but has lived in where I am for the last 10 years or so. She has family in both places due to her parents' divorce, with one side living here and the other there.
She has just got back from a long vacation where she was with the other half of her family. This is the first time she has seen them in many years. While away she decided that's where she wants to be - with her other siblings (some of which are young and she has just met for the first time). She feels like she is missing out on them growing up as well as missing other family.
She dropped the bombshell that she will be leaving in less than a year upon her return. I'm heartbroken.
We're very much in love and before going away we were making plans to buy a house together and I've been secretly making plans to propose. But this has all changed and the decision is absolute. She wants to go.
I can't stop her from leaving - even if I wanted to, and it wouldn't be fair if I tried. I can't stand in the way of her happiness.
We are technically still together and I need to decide how this plays out. I'm grieving already and for me this news was the breakup.
Realistically we can't keep it going over that distance for an unspecified amount of time (3+ years) - she may not come back.
We're both struggling a lot as we are very much in love - but ultimately she's choosing something else over the relationship.
Surely we can't carry on knowing that there is a termination point in a year? What do I do?
I have a good career and my own family to think about so I don't think moving is a possibility for me.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend is moving to the other side of the planet for 3+ years. She leaves in less than a year. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: What do you guys think of the age difference/how should I approach this?
POST: So, I always go to this roller rink on Friday nights(me and some friends just meet there, then we usually go to the woods) and I been eyeing this guy there and he is just so good looking at exactly my type. I finally got the chance to talk to him because we have mutual friends and he came with us this and hes so cool and quite adorable. He ended up falling asleep in my lap for about 20 minutes!
He turns 17 this Thursday, and I turn 15 in October. He refused to go out with one of my other friends when she was 13 almost 14 and he was 16. We're both in high school, so I mean, I'd think it was ok and I was just dating someone that same age as him. Do you think I should even go for it? I like him a lot, but I dont wanna try and not even be friends with him if he wont even go for it.
Also, Ive never really initiated flirting, guys usually flirt with me, how should go about this? What are some obvious flirting moves? Nothing subtle. I really want him to know and for him to develop feelings for me too.
TL;DR: | Guy 16 going on 17 might think me, a girl whos 14 going on 15 is too young, should I still try anyway? If so, how? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Is it time to give up?
POST: I{29M} confronted my GF{22F} about her feelings for her ex/coworker. She admitted to being in love with him. They are constantly texting each other at all hours. He has posted quotes on Facebook like "she is too much for one man, but not enough for two." I asked her to decide who she wants to be with and if it's me to stop contact outside of a professional work relationship.
Background: we have been off and on for 3 years now. And every "off" she get together with at least 1 other guy. I have been with just her for the last 3 years, just because I can't move on quickly I guess. The last off she hooked up with her coworker. That lasted for about a month before she moved into my apartment, and we where back on in my head.
During the talk she admitted that if she feels I am not giving her the attention she needs then she feels no remorse getting it elsewhere. After all was said and done she said she would let me know what she wants.
It's been a week and she has not said anything. I don't know if I want to stay with a person that takes this long to decide who she wants to be with.
Should I just give up, and ask her to move out?
TL;DR: | my GF loves someone else and won't decide who she will be with. It's been a week. Help me! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22F] with my bf [27 M] of 7 months are arguing over a female friend...surprise surprise...opinions?
POST: long story short my boyfriend made friends with a girl in grad school, they have known each other for four years and during those four years they leaned on each other for companionship. Whether is was late nights drinking at her place, going bar hopping, going on school trips to france, or just laying on sunday and watching the game- they always counted on each other.
Currently him and I are dating and I see her as an infringement on our relationship. He says he has no romantic feelings for her and isnt interested in sleeping with her BUT he still does spend a lot of time with her. He still goes to her house for drinks (WITHOUT ME. she usually waits to ask him when I am out of town) about once a month, and she invited him to play soccer on her team once a week. They work together and see one another on a daily basis at work and lunch as well..
It is my opinion, they are doing 'couple-y' things and she is in my girlfriend territory. I dont think he will cheat on me, but I still dont like the idea that he spends almost as much time with her as he does with me. I dont like sharing my boyfriend. most recently, since soccer as ended, she invited him to be on her softball team. He then extended the invite to me. I declined and told him I didnt feel comfortable with him spending so much time doing new activities with her either. Reddit- is this appropriate?> thoughts? I feel like if he wants to start new weekly activities shouldnt they be with me and not her? How would some of you girlfriends approach this situation?
TL;DR: | boyfriend has female friend that is asking him to do do new sports with her. I feel uncomfortable and as though some of these activities they do together should be dwindling down, now that he has a committed girlfriend. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My friend [M 25], who I sometimes messed around with, is angry at me [F 22] because I told him I didn't want us to be casual anymore. Am I in the wrong?
POST: I [22 F] have been friends with this guy [22 M] for around a year. I started liking him but he had just come out of a relationship so I decided not to say a thing about it. A couple of months ago, we kissed and I confessed to him that I liked him more than just a friend. He told me that he thought I was a great girl but that he didn't want to be in a relationship and that he thought being single right now was going great for him. I accepted that and we stayed friends.
Even though we stayed friends, every time we hung out we kissed and because he had sort of ''rejected me'' and didn't want to be in a relationship, I put those feelings away and did enjoy the just messing around at first. But the thing is: I'm a sensitive person and realized I was kind of hurting myself with this because some in me still liked him. Then four weeks ago, I met someone new who I'm starting to like and seems to feel the same way for me (haven't hung out with my friend for like four weeks) and some days ago my friend asked me to hang out. And with that I already knew he would want to mess around. I really like this new guy I met so I told my friend I'd want to hang out but I don't want to mess around anymore because first of all, I don't want to hurt myself anymore by doing something with someone that won't even become my boyfriend and I mainly want to focus on getting to know this new guy more. When I told him he got angry at me for it and started going off on me. He told me that I stopped having feelings for him way too fast and that it was a weird thing for me that I suddenly met someone. Am I wrong for not wanting to be casual with someone who can't give me what I actually want - a relationship?
TL;DR: | I wanted a relationship, he didn't. We casually did stuff but now I met someone else and he's angry at me for it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: It was looking at other people's progress pics that finally motivated me. Now I think I'm ready to upload my own.
POST: Progress pics:
So at 5'5" my heaviest was pushing 190lbs. After looking at other people's pics and realizing these were all people just like me and there's no reason I can't put in some work...I finally got off my ass.
I've been going to the gym 5 days a week on my lunch break at work for about an hour. The I come home and go on the treadmill for 30 minutes and usually do 2-3 miles 3x per week.
My diet is all high protein and low carbs. Bacon and eggs for breakfast
Nuts , yogurt, or beef jerky for 10am snack.
Protein shake for lunch.
A spoon full of peanut butter when I get home at 4:30.
Meat/fish/greens for dinner.
Another peanut butter spoon around 8pm.
Then casin protein shake before bed.
Currently I'm down to 155-160. I don't care so much about my actual weight at this point anymore because I've been putting on muscle as well.
When I started all this I was struggling at benching 125 lbs...now I'm doing reps @ 225.
You can't really see it in the pics but my arms got a lot bigger and much more vascular which looks good. I'll try to snap another pic later.
TL;DR: | Lazy IT guy, busted my ass, went from 190 to 160 and my strength feels like it's through the roof. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Boyfriend nags me about religion, just doesn't seem to get it
POST: Here's some background:
Me: 19F, Him: 22F. My family is christian, my dad being so-so and my mother extremely religious. My SO is atheist, his family is atheist, he sometimes borders on those 'superior-than-thou-because-i-accept-no-god' people.
My SO always gets mad at me because I can't see him on Sunday mornings/can't sleep over during lent. It's not that big of a deal, I don't think, but because he can't get laid that one day of the week he always gets really mad at me and starts telling me to not go to church.
I don't know what scale of religiousness I'm at. I go to church because I was brought up going to church, it's a place where I get to socialize with other people of my background (I am an Eastern European Orthodox). I don't care for God/Jesus/Abstinence/Chastity, I don't think gay people are sinners, I don't part take in assorted bigotry associated with Christianity. I just don't mind going to church much because it's something my family has always done.
My boyfriend always gets mad at me for going, every week. We see each other several times a week, so it's not a 'rare opportunity to hang out' sort of issue. He always tells me to just rebel against my family, tell them that I don't believe in God, and etc, although he doesn't have a damn clue about what living in a religious family is like. I've come to the conclusion that he hates my family, which I understand, since his family is perfect cereal box American, and we are immigrants and there is an enormous culture clash. I just really want him to stop nagging me every week about this. I've told him that I'm uncomfortable with his suggestions, he doesn't have any background knowledge or experience on religion, and he doesn't know what it's like to have religious parents. Is it wrong of me to think that is area of my life is off-bounds for him? It's not like I ever try to convert him or anything.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend tells me to come out to my parents as agnostic. Doesn't get that it will stir trouble in my family. He won't stop being a selfish r/atheism brat. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What's your worst sleep paralysis story?
POST: Mine was just recently, I was in bed with my girlfriend when all of a sudden I woke up, still being half asleep I can hear footsteps on the other side of the bed (the side I can't see) but that's when I realise I can't move a single muscle in my body, not even my eyes to look around. As I'm listening to the footsteps I could hear breathing getting closer and closer, I tried to yell out but I couldn't say anything. While still not being able to move I heard the breathing fade away and someone open the bedroom window. I hear someone crawl out and then slam the window shut.
That's when I was able to move again and immediately woke up my girlfriend with a very audible "WHAT THE FUCK". Turns out the window was locked from the inside and nobody was there. Definitely my scariest experience.
TL;DR: | Woke up not being able to move, heard someone in my room and then head out the window. Broke the paralysis and then realised no one was ever in the room. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit I need option's, its Important!
POST: Hey Reddit, I stuck and i don't know what to do. I'm 17 and my mom want to take me to go see my grandparents over winter break because they are getting on in year and my "grandpa" is sick. I use grandpa in quotations marks because I barely know him, I moved away when i was only 6 and have only seen them about 2 twice sense then.
I don't want to go because if I go and get attached it will make things so much harder when he dies. But I can also see why my mom want me to go. I just can't figure out what to do, So that's why I'm here.
So Reddit here's my question; Should i go and see my "Grandparents" or not?
This may sound like a heartless question but I want to know what you would do in my position.
TL;DR: | Grandparents" who i don't know are getting older and won't be around much longer, mom want to see them, Should I go or not? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by getting on the bus
POST: No, I didn't shit myself, but it wasn't loads better.
Got on the bus on the way home from lectures at uni with friends from my course. The bus is full so I'm standing which is fine, though it's in one of the more open sections of the standing area so I need to reach up for the rings to hold on to. Which is also fine.
At this point I should also mention that it's the last day of lectures and a big programming project hand in day, so I am knackered. I am also a big guy, and of my skills good balance isn't one of them.
Deciding that I might fall over if I remain hanging onto the rings, I decide to reach for a pole a couple of feet away. As I do so the bus goes round a corner and I lose my balance. It takes me a while to properly lose it though, so there were a good five-ten seconds where I knew I was going to fall on someone, but wasn't yet in a position to apologise profusely.
Inevitably I fall, and the student, middle-aged woman and old man seem reasonably OK with the situation. I feel like a tit. I stand up to see a friend of a friend absolutely pissing herself with laughter, trying to do it subtly. My friends pretended not to notice at the time, but between the lot of them I'm not going to hear the end of it. Or get that bus again.
At least I didn't shit myself.
TL;DR: | Big guy falls on people on a bus, people see, mock him, no one shits themselves. Sounds far less dramatic or entertaining than the full version. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: (AUS) Internal procedures/standards manuals for credit card applications to banks and other financiers. Where to find?
POST: A lot of things have been wikileaked since that word was invented but I have never detected this one: which is to say, the closely-held internal formula, standards and procedures on assessing credit card applications by an Australian bank. Because I'd like to know:
if you say you have or don't have another credit card, do they check that and how do they do so
if you state the limit of your borrowing with another lender (including for credit cards) must they just take your word for it
does it matter at all that you have substantial assets if your present income is small
do they check the property register for mortgages on your abode
just in general how far do they check what's asserted on a finance application without going back to the applicant first to bring more supportive evidence. What are they checking and finding out about us that we're ordinarily not privy to?
TL;DR: | want to know what scope of investigation a bank does when I take the bait on one of their credit offers and answer the usual application questions with the minimum they're asking to be told |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Wife [48/f] thinks I'm [48/m] sabotaging her relationship with our daughter
POST: Our daughter is 15 going on 16 and is a great kid, smart, focused, does well in school, has friends. She does butt heads with us sometimes, mostly with her mom. Usually it's fairly minor but occasionally she's mouthy and rude.
After one recent exchange between them when our daughter was rude, I talked to her afterward and told her she needs to have more respect for her mom and to be more kind. She acknowledged what I said but was noncommittal about her own behavior and I didn't push the issue because generally their relationship is good, if sometimes testy.
When I related the conversation to my wife, however, she got upset, saying that by focusing on our daughter's disrespect for her, I was setting myself up as the one she DID respect and reinforcing the behavior, not fixing it -- in other words, given teen mentality, by telling her NOT to treat her mother that way, I was in fact probably egging her on do it more.
My wife suggested I was subconsciously trying to keep the tension going between them and being hurtful rather than helpful, and that I need to examine my motives. I think the criticism is unfair and she's reading too much into it.
I'd welcome any input, however, from other parents.
TL;DR: | Wife thinks my telling our daughter to be more respectful to her is hurting more than helping, and I disagree. Thoughts? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (22, F) need break up tips/advice, I think its time to move on from him (22, M)
POST: Alright Reddit... You guys helped me out before, I'm trusting you again. Things are not getting better in the bedroom, after using your advice before. (For those curious and don't want to read the last post I had...it deals with my bf being pretty selfish and the fact he hasn't given me an orgasm in the 10 months we've been together.) Aside from that, there are other issues. But the bottom line : My parents, friends and I don't think he is "the one" for me.
So I need some advice on how not to break his heart. I feel like this may or may not come out of left field for him. He has tried to be a better bf (everywhere else except the bedroom...which might be a shallow issue...but a girl has needs...)
He is a nice guy, and has been good to me. Just not a perfect match. I dont want to have him go behind my back and say I'm a bitch for breaking up with him...or that I was crazy. I want to let him down easy, and maybe continue to be friends, I want to ease the sting of a break up for him. (Im going to be fine...I'm a very independent person and I've accepted that this was going to happen recently)
TL;DR: | Need advice to break up with bf softly - I dont want to be "that bitch" and completely break his heart. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [19/M] am very attracted to a girl [19/F] who volunteers with me
POST: I'm a volunteer firefighter, about 9 months in. This girl, name Nicole, joined a few months before me. Over the last 9 months we grew to be good friends, and we trust each other very much.
I have had feelings for this girl for a few months now, and I'm not sure how to go about the situation. Being her good friend, I'd hate to mess up what we have, as well as our trust for each other, if she doesn't feel the same way. She has never shown any affection towards me as far as I know, so I'm hesitant to do anything about my feelings. We have gone out to lunch a few times after training, but I don't think that was anything more than lunch with a friend.
The only thing I'm worried about is ruining our friendship, which means a lot to me.
What do you guys think? Is it worth risking a solid friendship for the slim chance at a relationship? Should I suck it up and be happy with what I have? Any input of the matter would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!
TL;DR: | I have feelings for another volunteer firefighter in my department, but I'm afraid of ruining a good friendship that we have build by telling her. WAT DO?! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Flat mate's partner is increasingly living with us - without me being informed
POST: So, this isn't a dating question per se, but maybe /r/relationships can help me work out this problem with my flat mate. Here's a bit of back story. I am 23m, my friend 24m, his girlfriend 24f.
My flat contract was ending at the same time an old friend's was, and as he'd just broken up with his long term partner at the time I suggested we both find a place together as that seemed like it could be fun. We found a nice place, and both moved in.
His break up mostly happened because he was interested in another girl, and pretty much when we moved in to the new flat they started seeing each other. Of course - I have no problem with this.
However, recently she has been spending an increasing amount of time at our flat - I'd say it's averaging out to about 4 nights a week, perhaps more sometimes. This is something I'm a little uneasy about, but it's worse that she will spend nights over and stay after my flat mate goes to work - letting herself out.
Today pushed me over my limit of acceptance though, as I took the day off work and she let herself in. I hadn't been told that she had keys to the flat (though I assume they are my flat mates and they agreed she would get in before him).
I need to bring this up with my flat mate, but I'm unsure if a) I'm being unreasonable to even be bothered by this and b) what's the best way to go about bringing this up? I feel like if she wants to stay as much as she is, then she needs to contribute more to the upkeep of the place - both in terms of tidiness and paying bills.
One potential problem that has held me back from saying anything is that both of these people are long term friends. I've known my flat mate since I was 14 or so, and his girlfriend since I was 5 or something like that. For some reason, having already formed great friendships with them, it feels harder to bring up these issues.
TL;DR: | High school friend flat mate is dating our (mutual) high school friend and she's now starting to almost live with us without me being consulted. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Needing help getting over girl who is interruption [m]y [22] relationship with my girlfriend [22] of over 2 years.
POST: I had this friend back in high school and we were the best of friends. We were like twins. We knew what ever the other was thinking, we knew how to make each other laugh. We were completely open to each other. Beginnings of college we were like nothing happened and the best of friends but eventually we both got into different relationships and we drifted apart.
We always had feelings for each other but when one was single, the other wasn't. So it never happened. Fast forward to the present.
I'm dating this amazing, talented, Lev headed, and goal oriented girl for over 2 years now. It to the point that we are talking about an actual future and working to make said future to happen. We both really want it.
Now this past friend and I started talking again and it's like the past year or so wasn't even there. We both have a very strong attraction to each other and we have both admitted to it.
I am having a hard time letting her go. I want my relationship to be stronger than ever with my girlfriend but my friend is always in the back of my head as a "what if?". No matter what I do, I always end up talking to her and I want to stop for the sake of my girlfriends and my future. The more time I spend talking to old memories the less time I spend with my girlfriend.
TL;DR: | Can't get over old friend who I thought was my future but I want to forget for sake of current girlfriend and our future coming up together. Please help with advice |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [17 M with my Girlfriend [17 F] for 6 months, she has trouble with public displays of affection and this upsets me
POST: So my girlfriend and I have been going out for around 6 months. We met during the summer and slowly developed feelings for each other. We text constantly and when we are alone things are great. There is obvious chemistry and affection between both of us however when in school or with friends things are different.
Whenever we are in school she is very cold towards me. We share a science class and while i try to talk to her or anything in that regard she kind of half answers me and then resumes talking to her girlfriends, I am ok with this. However, things are different when not in class. In the halls we walk together from class to class and while she is not the most affectionate person, I am and want some sort of affection from her. I have tried in the past holding her hand but she flat out told me she will not do anything in the area of PDA in the school.
When we are together with our friends she will be a little more affectionate but not much. No kissing hello or goodbye, no hugging, either just me having an arm around her or nothing. Again this bothers me a lot but I can not do anything about it. I have brought this to her attention in the past and she says that she will try to work with me on this but she hasn't changed at all in this respect.
Recently I have been having dreams of texts or situations where she does show me this public affection and I wake up to extreme pleasure. When I realized these moments were just dreams I instantly felt extreme disappointment and I know that I can not continue in this relationship like this. This girl is beautiful, funny, and i am head over heels for her but for some reason I can not get over this. Is there any way I can help fix or change this situation?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend of 6 months displays no affection in public situations. I am an affectionate man and I cannot help my feelings towards her lack of affection as hurtful. Is there any way I can help fix or change this situation? |
SUBREDDIT: r/askwomenadvice
TITLE: Did I [25/M] mess it up with a friend [23/F] of mine, or am I overthinking it?
POST: Okay, a little backstory: I met this girl at a party about a year ago. We connected quite well and were friends for a bit, then she just kinda disappeared for no rhyme or reason, but recently we started getting close again. Going to parties together, hanging out 1 or 1 occasionally, etc. We've been talking regularly again since May. But she sometimes goes from hot to cold. Likely due to things going on in her own life.
Anyways, last week we had a conversation that kind of dead-ended via text. I thought it was the end of it, but I guess not. Anyway, yesterday we had a conversation, went like this:
**Her:** Hey whats up?
Me: Not much really. What about you?
**Her:** Just at work. I feel like I haven't talked to you in a minute. I finally got paid today!
Me: Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. I was about to text you. And hell yeah, that's awesome! What are your plans for the weekend?
**Her:** *Basically some stuff about a family thing Friday night, and she's going to a friend's birthday party. Then possibly a show at a venue*
Me: Sounds fun! I'm probably just staying in unless something pops up. Then going to a friend's house party out in *suburb in my town*
I'm now banging my head against my desk (figuratively of course). She probably thinks I'm SUPER boring now. And Lost all interest. And that's why she never replied to the last message. I should have maybe asked her about the show, and asked her if she wants to go. But it's a bit too late to bring back a dead horse.
How can I fix? How can I get her interested again? Am I just overthinking it and panicking over nothing? I'm worried that she might think I'm not interested. And I'm worried that my ship may have sailed.
TL;DR: | She texted first! I think I might have bombed because she didn't have the last word. She might think I'm a boring peace of shit now. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Student worker, I discovered my employer hasn't been paying our agreed wage, among other things. Help?
POST: This is my first job. I'm a student worker in Ontario, employed as a cook at a restaurant. I've been working several months now, and had just worked double my normal hours over the Christmas break. I realize this is naive on my part, but I only ever checked my wages from the direct deposit. I never asked for a pay stub. I trusted my employers. They seemed nice.
My payment window is two weeks. I looked at my account, really excited to see how much money I made over the break, only to find I made approximately what I do ever two weeks. Which shouldn't have happened --- I worked twice as long, and worked two stat holidays. Pissed off, I went in that night and asked for a stub. The hours did not add up, my hourly rate was $0.7 less than what I had signed for, and they had charged me $42 for a uniform, that I was never informed that I had to pay for , and never agreed to the deduction (against Ontario law).
I talk to my manager, and he denies paying me for less hours. Upon my insistence, he checks his software, says "What the fuck?", and stumbles on his words, saying "Umm... sorry.. I may have missed an hour or two.. actually... a good chunk of hours... like, 20 hours...". I also brought up my wage. He laughed. He insisted that he was paying me student minimum. I told him I signed for $11, a value that THEY had suggested. He told me he would "think" about paying me what I SIGNED for.
That was a week ago. I have yet to receive my wages, OR see my boss. I feel he's avoiding me. I will try and talk to him tomorrow night, civilly. But I feel I'm being taken advantage of. That wage difference is ~$120 since I've started I haven't received, and they've been making me do the work of two people occasionally, despite my being the newest, and least experienced on the line.
Am I wrong to want to quit?
TL;DR: | Teen works. Teen's boss misses significant amount of hours, pays less than agreed wage, avoids him when called out, deducts from pay without agreement. Teen is considering quitting if it doesn't work out |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [18M] am losing my Girlfriend [18F] and she wants to talk about it on Monday. What do I say? (X-post r/relationship_advice)
POST: On Monday, she said she wants to have a "heart to heart" and i know this isn't a good thing. I have felt for a while that i'm losing her but now she actually wants to talk about it, and it' making me nervous. Previously, my attempts at talking have been met with her changing the topic or getting frustrated an me feeling bad. I really love her and i don't want to lose her. I haven't exactly been the greatest boyfriend; i get jealous of her with other guys, I try to take her time away from her friends, and I can be a jerk about it, but I don't mean to be. She barely ha any time to hang out with ANYONE so I tend to try and take as much time as I can get to see her, and it leaves very little time for her friends. I do get jealous over other guys though and it makes her upset. How can I save this relationship? I really do love her and I can'y imagine life without her. She says that everything depends on how the talk goes. What do I say?
TL;DR: | My GF wants to talk about our future on monday and I have no idea what I can say to convince her to stay. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My gf [20] found out I [21M] didn't tell her I used to hook up with one of my close friends. How do I fix this?
POST: My girlfriend and I have been together just shy of 6 months.
e're trying to go to a music festival this summer, but after looking how expensive flights were we were thinking a bus might be better. I was talking to a close friend of mine (girl) and she said they were driving out from the same city the bus leaves and still had space in her car.
Now this girl is my best friend's really close friend. I've only met her in person for like a week during which my friend set us up, but since then we've cleared that we're over that and we're better off as friends. We talk often, but I feel I should mention we don't talk like "that." It's really just how you'd talk to a friend, no flirting from either of us.
My girlfriend asked me the other night if she was going to meet any of my past exes/hook-ups during the music festival and I told her truthfully about this girl. She blew up at me because she's noticed me talking to this girl throughout our relationship and thought I was hiding it from her.
I just didn't feel like it was need to know information to tell my girlfriend about her. I didn't think they'd ever meet each other, and so when this carpool situation came up I knew I would have to. I keep telling her I would've told her, but she keeps twisting it like I was going to tell her last minute. I've known that we were going to ride up with them for all of a day, and didn't want to bring it up then because she was upset about something else.
How do I explain to her that we're really JUST friends? She doesn't believe me that I would have told her, and says she'd feel like an idiot driving up with them where everyone knew except her. She says she can't look at me the same way anymore. How do I fix this?
TL;DR: | Gf found out I used to hook up with one of my close friends and thinks I've been hiding it from her the entire relationship. What do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What stories can you think that involve these three sentences?
POST: -Dopamine -Grey Quote -On the edge
The story behind this is that in the early hours of this morning I woke up from an amazing dream with a brilliant plot that I, at the time, felt could be made into a story or possibly a film (I'm a budding writer in the process of drafting out a script). I remember the great feeling of waking up with this amazing plot so I, in my tired state, grabbed a piece of paper and wrote something down and circled it (of course to emphasize the grandness of the dream to future me). I almost immediately fell back to sleep. This morning I woke up and remembered having this incredible dream but couldn't remember it. But ahaa! I wrote it down didn't I? I am so clever. Well, to my delight, I found I had only written down these three things ('Dopamine', 'Grey Quote' and 'On the edge'). I can't for the life of me remember what the dream was and only have these three statements left of it. What stories or ideas can you think of based off these?
The piece of paper in question ->
TL;DR: | I had an awesome dream that I wrote down extremely vaguely and am very curious how creative Reddit can be about wrapping a story around only three statements. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by introducing my cousin to my boyfriend.
POST: Okay, this is going to get a little messy; here we go. I've been spending the week at my grandparents' house with my sister and a few of my cousins. At almost midnight last night, my sister, my favorite cousin, and I all locked ourselves in a room and just talked for hours. Somewhere in those hours of conversation, we brought up boys, which led to me talking about my boyfriend. I was bragging about him and how he was on SoundCloud and he raps and makes YouTube videos and the whole freaking nine. My cousin is a music fanatic so she immediately looked him up on SoundCloud and told me that she had to meet him. I sort of just laughed it off and ignored her, but I forgot that his Kik and his SoundCloud are the same. After "cracking the code", she ended up texting him (he never knew that we were cousins) and she also gave my sister his Kik so we were all texting him until we all decided to go sleep. Today I really fucked things up. My cousin and I resumed our conversations this morning (my sister was just being annoying so we told her to stop xP), and things were going fine. We started talking again and she asked me, "Should I ask him if he has a girlfriend?". I totally thought she was joking so I told her to go ahead. She actually did it and he told her no. I flipped, and this is when it all began. My Kik username has always been some form of a hashtag, because I'm pretty basic, so I decided to change my username to #teamsingle to see how he would react. Of course, he asked for some explanation so I told him that he was texting my cousin. This is when I realized I fucked up. He asked me why I told my cousin and sister to spy on him for me which is when the guilt hit me. That was definitely not my intention AT ALL. I could't apologize enough and things sort of went downhill from there. Ahhh…yep…I definitely fucked up.
TL;DR: | I told my cousin about my boyfriend's SoundCloud, she found his kik, she was texting him and he told her he was single, and things between us started going downhill rather quickly ): |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (18/M) am getting depressed about my best friend (18/F)
POST: In the last couple of months I don't know what changed but I started to fall in love with my best friend. We are super close and usually talk on the phone everyday and hang out 4+ days a week together. My feelings grew really strong and it started to hurt me so I told her how I felt and to an extent she felt the same. She didn't feel as strongly as I do but long story short she said she isn't ready for a relationship anytime soon because of some personal issues she has, but if she was ready she would say yes to me in a heartbeat. We have talked alot about this and we both agree that for me to stop hurting we need to distance ourselves from each other for a couple of months or so.
This is insanely hard for me to do. Going from constant contact with her to next to no contact is heart wrenching. We still see each other on the weekends when we do things with our other friends, but we don't really have anything to do with each other at them. I am studying this year but am on holidays at the moment so I don't have anything to do during the day and it's hard to keep my mind off her.
Do you guys have any advice on getting over her? I have done this before with other girls I have liked, but i've never liked anyone this much and my usual methods aren't working.
TL;DR: | I need to get over my best friend by distancing myself from her, but I am getting very depressed over it. Any help? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25 M] liked experiment last night and want to continue, but might get back with GF
POST: Last night I had made two choices and now it has me all confused. I had spoke to a guy earlier in the week because for a little while I've been curious just never went through with it. I discussed what I was interested in with him, what I was worried about, and eventually we kind of set up a day to meet (last night). I have also been talking again with my ex after a short break that I wanted but she extended and we were getting pretty much back to normal. Since I wasn't really in the mood yesterday I figured nothing would happen and I was also thinking about her so I sent an email asking if we are back, which she didn't reply to yet.
Anyway, guy talks to me and I was thinking better to give it a shot while I got a chance. He comes over and we talk for a few hours since I still didn't feel it, but at the last minute I say to just try things and we do. I ended up liking it way more than I planned, although I still feel nothing for me. After it all happened it made me feel like I wish I waited to send that email because I wanted to try a little bit more since things were pretty rushed due to me waiting until the last minute.
Now I don't know what to do. I love this girl very much and obviously want to be with her, but I also feel like I want to get this stuff out of the way now that I got over the fears since there might not be another shot. It might be stupid to even consider two options, but what the hell do I do?
TL;DR: | Finally got the nerve to experiment, liked it, want to try more, but might get back with girl I love today. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Have you ever bought a "New" item online that has actually been used?
POST: Two days ago I bought a wireless gaming mouse from Amazon. When it arrived, the first thing that came to my attention was a strong tobacco smell. As I opened the mouse, I can see tobacco stuck inside the packaging. I checked the bottom of the mouse, and it has been worn quite a bit and there are scratches. The cable also wasn't in the plastic packaging it is supposed to be in. It is pretty obvious that this was used for gaming quite a lot by someone who smokes. Putting tape outside the box doesn't make the item "new".
I've ordered for a replacement now, but it is pretty disappointing since I was dying to use my new mouse. Has this happened to you before? And what have you done about it?
TL;DR: | Bought a new gaming mouse from amazon, opened the box and found a second hand mouse which stinks like tobacco. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: my boyfriend [20M] of eight months and I[21F] bring out the worst in each other, unsure of what to do now.
POST: we've been seeing each other for eight months now and a large amount of that time has been arguing. i get hurt very easily by what he does and i think i expect too much of him. i'm overly sensitive and have my own issues such as low self esteem and bulimia and when he says or does something i perceive as hurtful i fall really hard and i struggle to let it go. i found out about something he'd been lying to me about last month and that really hurt me more than i've ever felt, and since then it's been almost all arguing.
we're also now long distance as we both go to the same university and it's summer. it's not too far apart, around a 3.5 hour drive but it's making things harder.
he said it's got to the stage where he doesn't really see me as his girlfriend anymore, just someone he has to make better and that almost everything i do annoys him. the arguments start so easily and escalate so quickly and we say really awful things to each other. and he says he feels broken down and has no energy left, which is how i also feel. but we do love each other.
i know the obvious thing here is to break up but i'm determined to give this one last chance where we both change.
so my question is, does anyone have any ideas how i can give this one last big try while still giving him the space he says he wants? things i can do to show my appreciation for him, little romantic ways i can treat him? most importantly, how i can help him feel less drained and just kind of build him up again?
TL;DR: | the relationship is on its last legs, need advice as to how i can make it special again before we let it go please |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My muslim gf [25f] of one year regretting sex?
POST: Hi everyone. I've been with this girl [25f] for about a year now. We'd been friends for a long time (since high school). We ended up in the same city with both new jobs, began hanging out, started dating.
Anyway, about 10 months into our relationship, we started having sex. I knew she was a virgin, I never pushed her into it, asked multiple times, and we did it. We did it many more times after that.
All of a sudden, this past weekend, she wanted to talk to me. She's now feeling guilty for us having sex for the past two months, because she has no idea where our relationship is going, our future is uncertain, and she's afraid that it may be a deal breaker for her next relationship.
We talked about it, I even said that it's fine if we stopped, which she said it wasn't what she wanted, because she enjoys it. I then told her that if a guy loves you and wants to marry you, and THAT was the dealbreaker, then I'm not so sure she'd want to marry him. Chances are, he'd judge her for many other things (clothes, music, drinking, clubbing, whatnot), and if that'd be the kind of person she marries.
She agreed and kinda let it go, but now, it's made me feel all sorts of weird.
1. She feels guilty for having sex. Something I thoroughly enjoy doing with her, and want her to enjoy, but now, she feels guilty.
2. I know our future is uncertain, as anything else is in life, but now we're talking about the "next guy." What in the world?
TL;DR: | gf of 1 year now regrets having sex with me because her "next relationship" might consider it a dealbreaker. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: I have an irregular income and a regular income, what is the easiest way to budget?
POST: My fiancé and I are trying to pay off all of our debt and save for a house start a life debt free post marriage.
She is a school teacher with a salary 1082 every 2 weeks.
I am a waiter and bring on average $200 a night, 6 nights a week.
The bills we have come to $2900 a month, which includes everything from $100 a piece blow money, money for the dog, food, and rent and everything above.
We want to pay off our car first, followed by 0% credit cards
How can we feel comfortable making sure we are not piling too much money towards our debt in case I have a "slow" month? Obviously the faster we pay off the car, credit cards, and various few other bills, the more we have available to put towards the next debt i.e. student loans. What is the best way to feel comfortable in case of a slow month?
Our current plan is pay everything on the 1st of the month. Then the following month we save until we get $2900 in the account again for the following month, then anything over that goes towards paying down debt. Is this a good way to do this? Any thoughts or ideas would be greatly appreciated on how we should budget. Thanks in advance for your comments
TL;DR: | Have 2 incomes, 1 regular, 1 irregular and don't know best way to budget to tackle debt the fastest way. |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: 1200 cals a day & gymming 2-3 times a week but only losing 1lb a week. [F,5'8,138 lbs]
POST: Guilty as charged, I left getting in shape before my holiday a little later than planned. So I had 8 weeks with a goal of losing a stone which seems pretty reasonable, right?
Now I'm three weeks in and only 3 lbs down which I know is still a loss and any weight off is still great... But my target is thrown now and I'm getting frustrated with how slowly the weight is coming off.
Am I wrong to think that I should be losing weight quicker, eating 1200 calories and going to the gym two to three times a week? If not, does anyone have any thoughts why progress is so slow and any ideas on how to speed it up?
TL;DR: | Three weeks on 1200 calories, gym trips 2-3 times a week, only losing 1lb a week. Why and how to speed it up? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by killing my brother's rat and catching my house on fire.
POST: So I'll try not to make this a long post. This was about a week ago. My brother has a pet rat that he loves, it's a working rat for therapy, and my mom hates it. Occasionally, when I'm really bored, I'll take it out of the cage and play with it...and today I thought of a brilliant idea to make a maze for it and do some experiments. So I made a maze with things lying around the room (books and stuff) and put the rat down in what seemed like a safe and secure environment. Little did I know that a power cord ran under my maze and across the room. I walked out to find some cheese for my "experiment" and a snack or two because I had the munchies. I'm looking around in the fridge for about ten minutes and next thing you know, the power goes out in my house. I had no what had happened until about five minutes later. I run back to my brother's room and the books and my whole maze is on fire like straight up FIRE! I had no idea what to do. I just got my mom out of the house and we called 911. I'm guessing that the rat chewed through the cord and it caused an electrical fire. We called the fire dept. and they finally got there when the fire had already destroyed my brother's whole room. No rat found. I'm assuming it died instantly from electrocution. The fire department figured out that it was an electrical fire, but they don't know how it actually happened. They just assumed the house needed inspection. Nobody knows what really happened.
TL;DR: | I tried making a maze for a rat and left the room. The rat ended up chewing through a power cord and caused an electrical fire. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How do I deal with my roommate for 2 more months?
POST: I've been in college for roughly 10 weeks now, and I have 6 more school weeks left until the end of the semester. At the end of the semester I plan on changing roommates, since one of the guys in our hall is transferring colleges, and I'm good friends with his roommate. Now you may be wondering why I want to change. Well allow me to begin; my roommate is a massive OCD germaphobe. And I don't mean he "likes" it to be clean, if it's not spotless, he flips a massive bitch. Next up, he seems to have no respect for myself and my space. In the time since we've been in college, he's kept me up several times because he wanted to play "one more game" with another dorm mate in our room, on my xbox. I was cool with him using it, as long as he asked. My xbox now has a password preventing use, since I'd come back to random people using it, or he would play it with other people late night. Now, when he did that, he'd bitch that I didn't need sleep. On the other hand, if I sit here quietly with one friend and play a game with volume as low as possible, without it mute, he freaks out and makes a huge argument about how he needs sleep.
Aside from that (and theres more that goes with ALL of those), he enjoys making homosexual slurs at me (I'm straight, but geeze, hearing "faggot" or "get the dick out of your mouth" every 10 minutes is annoying.), as well as blasting music at a ridiculous volume, while refusing to use headphones.
So, how do I deal with this crap for 2 more months? I can't room swap until then. I've tried talking it out with him, he just pushes shit on me. And my RA can't really do much in this case.
TL;DR: | My roommate is driving me insane, and I need a way to finish this semester while rooming with him. Help reddit? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I'm being screwed on workman's comp after an injury and E.R. visit (metal in my eyeball). What can I do?
POST: Back in 2007 I had a tiny piece of steel fly into my eyeball at work. I tried to get it out with tweezers, and by putting a magnet on my eye, but neither worked. The next day it was rusting in my eye, and it hurt A LOT, so I went to the E.R.
The hospital records say that I WAS wearing safety glasses at the time. My boss said that workman's comp would pay for it. I asked him about it later, and he said it was all taken care of.
All of a sudden, a collector started calling me recently saying that it was never paid for, my employer never made a claim with workman's comp, and I owe them almost $1500 (it cost $1500 even though I was in and out of the E.R. in about 20 minutes).
I HATE the employer (thief, liar, dickhead), plus I lost that job almost a year ago.
TL;DR: | Boss said workman's comp was taking care of my bill, but he lied. Now I owe the money and don't have the job anymore. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How can I (18 M) help comfort my girlfriend (18 F) who's having family problems?
POST: My girlfriend (Jenny) and I have been dating for 8 months now. Jenny didn't have a father figure ever since late elementary school.Her dad left my girlfriend and her mom because of gambling issues and an inability to maintain a job.
Her mom remarried and had another girl (Taylor) who is now 8 years old so there is quite a large age gap between my girlfriend and her little sister.
Jenny's mom divorced Taylor's father a while back but he still lives around the area and helps their family out every once in a while. However, he is most likely going to move to another state soon. My girlfriend is devastated that her little sister is about to have to go through what she's going to go through.
I said I would be there to listen and help whenever she needs me but she feels like I'll just pity her because I can't really relate. I think her family situation right now is starting to affect her happiness in general because she's so stressed with trying to be there for her mom and sister and trying to do well in her first year at university.
I honestly think she's starting to get depressed and I REALLY don't want to see that happen. What is the best thing I can do for her?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend is struggling with caring for her sister and mother that she's starting to get depressed. How can I be there for her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: One of my best friends (23m) and i (22m) have started a sexual relationship that we keep secret from our other friends. Is this normal or healthy?
POST: Ive recently posted under confessions about how the relationship started. So i wont go there. You can find it under /r/confessions if you are interested. To summarize it. Carl and I have started having sex. All our friends know im gay but none of them know abkut carl.
Needless to say. Im feeling guilty about the situation because even though the sex is fantastic (was a virgin before we initiated this). We get along great. No one suspects a thing. Except Ive told my dad. Hes the most supportive of my sexual orientation.
When im with carl. Everything just seems to fall into place. Everything feels right in the world. Especially with his body next to mine right now. Our other friends are comimg over today and were gonna be acting as if we didnt fuck until 3 in the morning.v like were not something more than friends. Is this normal or healthy?
TL;DR: | one of my best friends and i have moved our relationship to one of a more sexual nature. Weve told no one. Is this normal or healthy? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Should I [28/m] reach out to my ex-gf [22/f] who broke up with me seven weeks ago?
POST: We dated for almost a year. She was gorgeous inside and out, and I often question whether I'll ever find someone who can compare. I've dated several people previously (for longer periods of time) and have been on some great dates since, so I don't feel as though I have blinders on.
She lived at home after college while trying to find a job. Her parents hated that she came out to see me on the weekends because they are conservative prudes, which led to her feeling a great deal of guilt.
One day, she called me to tell me it was over. We had just hung out the day before and made plans for the week. She would always tell me she thought I was perfect, a "unicorn," etc. Her explanation during the breakup call was some vague "I can't be happy in a relationship right now always having to hide it from my parents since I can't move out until I find a job." But just two weeks later, I see her on Tinder and Bumble....
I pleaded with her over the phone when she called me to end it, and I sent one follow-up text the next morning laying out how I felt, how the surprise ending made no sense, and how it was unfair to make such a rash decision without any discussion. It was totally unlike her, and that is not how two people who love each other handle problems, I said. She replied "I am sorry if my reasons aren't enough for you." There has been zero communication from her since then. She defriended me on all social media (something she did not do with other exes), and deleted all pictures of me from all accounts (also something she did not do with others).
Every single day I talk myself out of sending her a text, but I can't stop thinking about her and what the hell caused her to call off everything so suddenly, and with no real explanation. I constantly wonder if she is just waiting for me to reach out. I would get back together with her in a heartbeat if it was an option.
Any thoughts on this would be greatly appreciated!
TL;DR: | GF of a year whom I adored, whom I feel may be the best I'll find, broke it off via a vague phone call 7 weeks ago, no contact since. Any point in reaching out? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My girlfriend [18F] gave up her dream college to be with me [18M]
POST: A few weeks ago my girlfriend and I got into the same college, however she also got into her dream college. The rankings are not too far apart but it is pretty obvious that her dream college is more prestigious. After talking long and hard, she decided to come to the one I was going to.
Of course, I would LOVE it if she comes to the same college as me. I love her dearly and because we are going to the same one, my mindset right now is to hold on for as long as possible... forever???
I never forced her to come with me, and she gave me a decent number of reasons why she decided this college that are not related to me.
But damn, I feel so selfish. She could possibly be ruining her life. What scares me is that we have no idea what is going to happen on the other side. What if we change there? What if it restricts us from meeting new people? What if I feel obligated to always be an angel for her because she chose this for us?
What's surprising is that I'm not even a very good boyfriend. Sometimes I overreact, sometimes clingy, sometimes a little possessive, sometimes a giant asshole. The fact that she's willing to sacrifice that for me makes me love her even more.. but what will happen when it fades?
Right now right here, I want to be with her for the rest of my life. Married, kids and what not (we always talk about this) but I'm not sure if my age and maturity will back this up in a few months or years.
TBH our relationship is not that strong at all, we fight all the time, little fights about big things, big fights about little things. We're young and stupid but maybe that's what creates our love? I know I repeated this a million times but I really want to be with her forever, but i want us to be happy. AND we known each other for our whole high school but we've only been dating for 4 months.
And BTW we both submitted are SIR to the school so reading stuff about why we SHOULD'NT go to the same school won't be that easing for me ;(
TL;DR: | Girlfriend gave up her dream college to be with me, many conflicting feels are circling. Pls help. Any advice or experience. Any comfort. Thank you |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (18 M) mom tries to read my girlfriend (18 F) and I's texts. What to do?
POST: So my girlfriend and I (ages listed in title) have been dating for a year and have had a healthy and active sex life -- one my conservative parents do not approve of.
Being that I'm 18 and fully capable of making my own life choices, I choose to participate in sex with my girlfriend anyway, without their knowledge. My mother has always been over protective, and I'm beginning to grow concerned for my privacy.
She has recently begun snatching my phone and reading text messages on it. I'm still under their cell phone plan, so I accept that it's technically their phone and my mom has the right to look at it. I now clear my messages constantly, especially when my girlfriend and I are having raunchy conversations.
My big question is, if no third party apps are installed on my phone, can my mom read my texts online? We are through Verizon and I use Message+ as my texting app.
TL;DR: | Mom is overprotective and tries to read texts and sexts. I am wondering how much protection I have. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Saving For a Road Trip
POST: Hey /r/personalfinance,
First off, I apologize in advance for spelling mistakes. I am on my phone writing this. Also for reference, I am a 20 year old guy in college (if that makes a difference...?)
Next summer (July/August 2016) I am planning on taking a baseball road trip. I plan on starting in Omaha, driving through Kansas City, St. Louis, Chicago, Milwaukee, Minneapolis, and finally back to Omaha. I have already started making extensive plan of what costs I will have to cover and have been saving money accordingly.
My parents absolutely think I am crazy for wanting to do this. My mother mainly hates baseball, thinks I am completely wasting my money, and that I should save my money to go on a trip back to Europe. My father actually loves baseball and likes the idea, but he still believes the majority of my money should stay in savings or I should start investing.
I guess the whole point of this is should I "waste" my money on this road trip? Should I leave all of it in savings or start investing? I realize it's my money, but I want another opinion. Am I crazy to think that I should money on a trip like this?
I'm happy to answer questions about my spending/saving habits.
TL;DR: | I want to spend a fair amount of money on a road trip, parents think it's a stupid idea. What is your opinion? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 M] with my girlfriend [20 F] of half a year, she is mildly emotionally manipulative and it's driving me crazy.
POST: My girlfriend and I have been together now for almost half a year. I love her and she loves me but there is something which I struggle with. We don't get a fight often but when we do, it's a real pain in the ass for me because I believe she is manipulative. Whenever there is a disagreement, she likes to be the victim. She will say things along the lines of: "oh there you have it, it's 100% my fault", "yeah should I make a list of everything that is wrong with me while we're at it?" and "it's so tiring to argue with you".
I have no idea how to react if she says something like that. Up to now, it has always ended in me eventually apologizing to her and I don't think it's the righteous thing to do because it will actually provoke her in engaging in this manipulative behaviour again.
I know this isn't front-page worthy but all I ask is some advice on how to deal with this, so I'm able to at least argue normally, once it's neccessary . She doesn't threathen with breaking up or anything, but the repeative manipulative behaviour of hers may actually make me want to break up myself, and I want to avoid that if it's possible.
TL;DR: | girlfriend likes to play the victim in arguements and this behaviour is slowly driving me insane and I need help to deal with it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Pets
TITLE: Help! My sister's cat is trapped (x-post from /r/AskReddit and /r/cats)
POST: My little sister's [karma machine] has somehow escaped into the walls of our parents' house. As you can see she clearly enjoys enclosed spaces. We live in a really old (100 years plus) Victorian era terraced house. There's been a hole in the plaster on the top floor of three (ex-attic) because of a leak, but yesterday we finally got it plastered up. We think she must've sneaked in just before. After listening all round the house we eventually heard her seemingly coming from behind a wall all the way downstairs in the front garden. She's not really been moving and we think she maybe fell some of the way and hurt herself. We can't start hacking through stone. And we can't pull down the plaster and go in because none of us will fit. She's a tough rescue cat and has survived 5 days of being trapped one other time so will live a little while longer but I'm really worried it'll destroy my little sister if she dies. Especially in such a horrific way where she'll be able to hear her the whole time.
What can we try reddit? Anything, no matter how crazy, will be considered.
TL;DR: | Sister's cat is trapped in the walls of our super old house. What can we do/what would you do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: So I think I (20/M) have found the love of my life (16/F), but there are some frustrating barriers.
POST: Okay, so the title is obviously hyperbole, but I am really falling for this girl. Sorry mods if this isn't necessarily an appropriate post, but I really need some advice! We have so much in common: we love being sarcastic, being outdoors, and we're literally into the same type of music (Arctic Monkeys, Tame Impala, Young the Giant, etc) and I've never met a girl with music tastes THAT similar to mine. I met her at a Tame Impala concert.
There's clearly a pretty big age gap here, which sucks big time. I'm going to be turning 21 in October and she's not 17 until February :( So we haven't hung out since the concert because her parents are kind of hesitant to let her hang out with me, and she doesn't really want to lie and sneak out and get caught, which is understandable. We text and Snapchat a ton, and we've both said we like each other a lot and we both think each other is cute!
I really want to wait this out until she's 18, but damn by that point I'll be 3 months away from graduating college and she more than likely won't be a part of my life at that point.
TL;DR: | 4.5 year age gap between myself and this really awesome girl, want to date her and want her to be a big part of my life but that's not working out. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19 M] with girl I've known since high school [19 F] I am trying to move things forward with this girl and have no idea how to proceed.
POST: So basically I have known this girl(19) since high school but we never really hung out. We are now at the same college and have been spending a little more time together. She told me almost her whole life story in like 2 hours of non-stop talk the second time we hung out (which we have only done 3 times). We are usually alone when together and hold conversations very well. We have a ridiculous amount of things in common and we don't really text but when we do I always text first and always have something for us to do. She's kind of a hippy and "likes my energy" and is always saying how if I ever need someone to talk to that she is always there. I am a pretty shy person and really don't flirt unless she does, but she doesn't.
The issue I am having is that I have no idea if she is interested in me as more than just a friend. I was thinking about being upfront with her the next time we are together but have no clue what I should say. So how should I tell this girl that I really like her and want to spend more time with her but not as friends? Or should i just say nothing but keep hanging out.
TL;DR: | I really like this girl I've known since high school. How do I tell her I want to keep hanging out but not as just friends. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Best friend of 10 years doesn't seem to care too much anymore, me misjudging? What to do?
POST: I (18) have known a girl (19) since 10 years ago, kept in contact despite her moving away, etc. Am currently visiting her. We thought the relationship might have stepped up a notch after I came to visit, but when I got here we both realised it wouldn't work. All's good so far.
The issue comes in that during my time here she's been kinda cold towards me, almost uncaring when we've talked about anything, as if while she was happy to see me again, it made no difference to her whether I was visiting or not. She hasn't been directly nasty or anything, it's just the fact that she seems very closed off to me, despite being the complete opposite when I spoke to her via Skype a week before I came to visit.
This was only compounded by her getting together with a guy she met fairly recently while I was here (within the past 2 weeks), which is again fine in principle, but it's only made the situation with her not giving a damn, worse.
I've confronted her about this, and she told me she could understand why I might feel that way, but didn't recognise it as a problem or apologise for it. I've also tried to make sure she understands that I'm not bothered by her new boyfriend or any of that, and that she can still talk to me as she always has done, but that didn't make a difference either.
And yes, "friendzoned", that's fine by me and I feel the same way about her.
So, what should I do about this, or, am I overreacting? I'm not sure.
TL;DR: | Known friend for 10 years, not sure if there is any "care" left in the friendship. What to do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Help Reddit! I can't seem to get a boner.
POST: Obvious Throwaway.
I've been seeing this really beautiful girl for around 2 months now (we haven't slept together yet). I'm extremely sexually attracted to her, so much to the point that just talking to her gives me a boner. But last night, during one of our "dirty talk" sessions, she said I was just making stuff up so I could get into her pants. At first it seemed like a small thing, but that's not how my conscience sees it. I can't seem to get a boner ever since. I felt I needed to prove to her I was not being desperate. So I told her I won't have sex (and even any kind of dirty-talk) with her till the end of 2011. She said her statement was made in jest and not to make her suffer for it. She's an amazing girl and I know she wouldn't have seriously meant it. But I feel badly turned off and can't seem to ignore it. My libido is acting up on me. What do I do Reddit?
TL;DR: | Girl I've been trying to sleep with said I was making stuff up to get into her pants and that killed my sex-drive. |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: How to approach the topics of asking for an office and become my own department?
POST: The person who hired me has the title of "Director of Technology". He oversees the IT department as well as the hiring of everything computer-based. He had a vision for a marketing department so he hired me, with the title of Marketing Manager (slash-graphic designer, which was my original skill set and also the large reason I got the job, and I'm content doing both).
Because it was his vision and some of what I do is prepare visuals used by the software engineers to create items on our website and private sites, I am under the IT umbrella. Of the eight-person department, five are on one floor and the other three sit together (this includes me).
Often, IT meetings are called and I have nothing to contribute or I am exempt. I am the only one among us with "Manager" in her title and am times called upon to meet with partners and owners, make large decisions, etc. = managerial things. Often, I am on the phone or meet with people at my desk, and doing so at a quiet cube can be awkward.
Basically two things, here: In the long-term I would like to see Marketing have its own department and not be covered under IT, as it is largely irrelevant to the demands of the position. And I would also like my own work space. There are three offices in the building which are unoccupied and I could ask for any of them (they are small and without windows, nothing executive-level).
I am fairly new, only two months, but in that time I've been given a lot of responsibilities, have given presentations, redesigned items, etc. I am the only person in my "department" and am the only person to ever do this job at this company. I'm told they love me.
TL;DR: | Am I too new to ask for an office space of my own? How do I do it? What is the best way to approach this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Should I take the job (if offered)?
POST: Throwaway account here. At the moment, I work at a small-medium sized company as IT support. My job consists of the usual IT work (systems maintenance, helping users with computers, etc). I also work with the database (mostly just writing simple queries) to get data out to people. It's not exactly the most fulfilling job, but it's an easy job and I do get a lot of downtime (for redditing and the like of course). This is my first job out of college and I've been here for about half a year.
Recently, I've applied to a friend of a friend's start-up company (whose product is about to hit the market). I'm not exactly sure what the job entails (I haven't had the interview yet), but I know it will involve customer support and some programming. While I'm a bit wary about the customer support aspect, my friend tells me it would be a good start to my programming career, which is something I would like to do. It will probably pay around 60k (I make about 30k now), but money isn't really an issue for me at the moment.
Here's where my predicament lies. I've always heard it's a bad idea to leave a job when you're less than a year in. How true is this sentiment for a somewhat-fresh college grad? Also, at my current job, I do like working with my employees and I do learn a lot about the business side of things as I work closely with the CFO (who also teaches me office politics). The start-up is only about 5 or 6 people, so there will probably be significantly more intense work than I have now, which I'm not sure if I'd enjoy. However, I do want to get my foot in programming as that is the career path I want to take at the moment. What would you do in my position reddit?
TL;DR: | Worked at medium-sized company for 6 months. Applied for a job at a start-up. What should I do if I get offered the job? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 M] just asked out [24 F] out on a date, didn't get a straight response.
POST: I've been single for a few weeks and meet this girl thru mutuals friends.
we went out a few times to dinner and stuff but I guess she didn't consider them dates because when I asked her today on a date she wrote "I don't do well on dates, idk if that's a good idea." when asked why she said that it's a long story.
When I finally told her I was interested in her, she changed the subject and that she needed to go to sleep. I said she was really good at avoiding conversations but it's ok good night, last thing she wrote was winky face.
I don't know if her avoiding talking about is good or bad, I would much rather get a solid yes or no, her saying no won't change that she's a good person overall, I can handle rejection, how do I go about the conversation?
TL;DR: | asked a girl out on a date, didn't get a straight yes or no, what's the best way to go about getting a straight answer? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My boyfriend [23/M] is financially irresponsible and spends my [24/F] savings to pay bills. How can I help him become more financially responsible?
POST: My boyfriend and I have been living together for about a year. We aren't hurting to make ends meet, but it seems like we're always living paycheck to paycheck in spite of the fact that our expenses are probably about half of what we take home. My boyfriend makes twice as much money as I do, and therefore pays the rent note while I'm responsible for all the other bills (electric, gas, water, cable/internet, groceries, and savings). We each have our own cell phone and car insurance bills that we take care of on our own, and they add up to about the same amount for each of us.
All of his bills come around the same time each month and he's always dipping into the savings I pay toward to help him with his part of the bills. I don't mind helping him out, but this is becoming an issue because I'd like for us to be able to go on vacations, or to be able to afford to get new furniture when we need it, or to even just have money for emergencies. He, however, always seems to need me to pay part of his bills, which drains anything I can save. After my bills, and everything, I'm usually only able to save about $200-$400 each month while still living comfortably. This isn't so bad, in my opinion, but now savings is down to $100 again because he needed money again. This happens just about every month.
I try to cut back on the amount of activities we go out and spend money on, but this just prompts him to spend money on other things. He's very adamant about keeping our finances separate, so I don't think me managing his portion of income is going to be an option. Does anyone have any suggestions as to what I can do to prevent him from draining savings? I'm at a loss.
TL;DR: | My boyfriend makes twice as much money as I do, and still needs me to give him money from savings to pay his bills. How do I stop this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by dumpster diving at gamestop.
POST: About an hour ago me and my sister were out so I said "hey let's stop by GameStop" so I could see if they threw away electronics as they sometimes do, as I approached the garbage can I noticed it was locked and also I had no flashlight, so I used my phone, as I'm looking in I see a bag close to me and grab it, rip it open and pulled out a game case...opened it and nothing... this is where I fucked up, I saw a bag further away with what looked like a Xbox controller in it, as I reach over I drop my phone into the locked fucking garbage can, I panic and run to the car to tell my sis what had happened and got a look of "are you kidding me? " after some trys I couldn't get it out, long story short we went back to our house and got a small shovel drove all the back and tried to get it out, we got it on our first try and now I have my phone back thank God!
TL;DR: | went dumpster diving, dropped my phone in locked trash can, had to drive all the way hone to get a shovel to prop it out. |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Car dealer asked me to defraud my insurance company... Breached verbal contract.
POST: So I just recently bought a used car. In the process of me buying it I noticed a crack in the windshield. The salesman/manager assured me they would replace it on more than one occasion. He said this at least three times, when I noticed it, right before I signed the paperwork, and the day I went to pick up the vehicle.
Fast forward a week. I went to pick up my registration, which was delayed by a whole week because he forgot to have me sign some paperwork and notified me a week later about it. I went to sign the paperwork on Monday of this week, and was told that I would have my registration the next day. He said he would call me when it was ready, but he did not. So I waited until today and went to see if it was done. When I got there he had my registration for me, and told me that due to the fact that the car is now in my name, his insurance company will no longer cover the cost of the windshield that was cracked while the vehicle was in the possession of the dealership. He then told me I should call my insurance company and tell them a rock hit my windshield today and have my insurance cover it, which is obviously insurance fraud. In that moment I didn't even think of it but while on my way home I realized that fact and called him, and told him flat out that I would not commit insurance fraud to help him save a buck. He tried to convince me that it was okay, and that there would be no problem with getting my insurance to cover it, but I insisted that he pay for it. He has already refused to cut me a check for the cost of the windshield and said that he will try to force his insurance to pay for it.
My question to you fine folks of /r/legaladvice, is what recourse do I have for his breach of verbal contract and his insistence that I commit insurance fraud on his behalf, if any, in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts?
TL;DR: | Car dealer asked me to commit insurance fraud to save him from paying cash for a repair he assured me he would cover. What recourse do I have if he does not pay, in MA? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26 F] with my "bf" [37 M] of 7 months, confused if I should stay or not.
POST: Throwaway because he's a redditor.
We've been together for about 7~ months. We were FWBs at first, and decided to give the relationship a go. I am in love with this person, but I'm not sure if he feels the same way. He refuses to say I love yous, and doesn't even want labels in our relationship. He thinks that the relationship should grow "naturally", and I'm not even sure what that means.
There would be days where we wouldn't even talk to each other, unless I initiate a conversation. If I do, we'd end up stumped at the end of the day because he just won't talk at all. If I ask him if he's busy, he'd say he's not and he's just surfing the internet. I feel like he's not even curious about me. Is it because of the age gap?
He also used to be in a long term relationship. He mentioned that he gave up the idea of having kids / starting a family, because his past relationship was more of a partnership than a *real relationship*. Now that we're together, he said he's opening up to that idea again.
He would only be sweet if we're gonna have sex, or we'll make out in the car. I would always feel like he's only after sex, because that's the only time he's sweet/have good conversations. On other days, I feel like he just doesn't care at all.
This is a struggle for me because I used to be in a very loving relationship (ex of 8 years) who cares all the time. We were the epitome of sweet and fun until things turned sour. We would talk for countless of hours, had the same interests, and we were very good friends.
TL;DR: | Having difficulty communicating with "bf" of 7~ months. I'm not sure if he's "in love" with me, or I'm just a backup option. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Relationship question: Does my girl deny me sex too much or am I just really horny all the time?
POST: So, my girlfriend and I have been together for over 5 years and just got engaged. I love her very much and am extremely attracted to her. There's just one problem... We only have sex when she wants it. Me being a 25 year old male, I seem to crave it a lot. I would like to have it once-a-day, but I understand that is a little too much to ask. So I try 2 or 3 times a week to get in her pants, and most attempts fail. So, we usually just do it once a week and it's when she's horny. When we do have sex, it is great for both of us, I make sure of that. So, we have had discussions about how I would like to be more sexually active and how I sometimes feel deprived or neglected, but I hold back because I don't want to appear shallow or pathetic and I really don't want her to feel like an "object" instead of my fiancé. So, my approach for the last year or so has been to just be happy to get it when I can, but then that brings up feelings of resentment towards her because I start to feel like she doesn't care about my needs. You also have to understand that I do anything and everything for this woman. She has a very laid-back and good life because of me. And she'll be the first to tell you, I am very clean-cut and handsome guy who treats her great. With all this said, I am starting to worry about us and I'm not sure if I can deal with this the rest of my life. Before I marry this girl, I needed some advice. Is this normal? Am I just being a horny creep? Is she being inconsiderate? Should I marry this girl?
TL;DR: | My fiancé denies me sex more often that I think is normal. I treat her great and feel unappreciated. Do I crave sex too much? Or is she being inconsiderate? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26/F] with my fiancé [30 M] 2years, am I being overly sensitive about him and his female boss
POST: My guy and I just got engaged and we plan on getting married later this year. Last weekend he was working from home and on his Skype I saw him chat away with his boss. Some were just work stuff so that didn't bother me. She then asked him where he was and he was like he was with me and i was right next to him. But then I saw his boss told him that she needed a replacement bf at work for distraction. I was like what? he told me she was happily married and it was just joking. He replied" find someone mentally disturbed" and she was like "only a disturbed person would talk to me" and then they joked around about some other coworker. Then she asked him about his password for some work related stuff and he said "hero. you should know that" and she was like "you are my hero." At this point I was not sure if I felt comfortable about the way she talked to him but I didn't want to be that jealous ridiculous gf so I didn't react. In the end he told her that he "has a wedding to pay for" and she was just like "LOL" , didn't make any other comments at all, which kinda weirded me out a little bit but I'm not sure if I'm just being overly sensitive. He didn't know I was a little disturbed by all this. They also text each other sometimes (not excessively) about harmless but not strictly work related things and have each other on snapchat. (but don't think they snap each other much). I want a second opinion about if they were kinda flirting or am I just being overly sensitive and ridiculous?
Our relationship otherwise is great. He treats me very well and I wouldn't trade him for anything.
TL;DR: | Not comfortable with the way my guy's boss talks to him and wondering if it's just normal office talk and I'm just being too sensitive. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20F] want to break up with my boyfriend [21M]
POST: So I've been dating my boyfriend for about 4-5 months. When we first met, I was not ready to be in a relationship, but we connected pretty well, so I decided why not. He's my best friend but there's a problem. I have 0 physical attraction to him (sorry... very shallow of me). I only love him as a friend, and I don't see our relationship going anywhere.
I don't want to drag this out any longer, so I plan on breaking it off with him the next time I see him. He's an awesome friend and I really dont want to lose him. I know he likes me a lot...Way more than I like him. So I really do not want to hurt him.
Reddit, I need your help! How do I break up with him without hurting him? Is being friends after a break up even possible? I've never broken up with someone so I don't know how to even begin. What are some things I should be saying, or avoid saying?
I know after I break up with him I should give him space. But we're taking two classes together this semester, and they're pretty small classes, so I'll see him almost everyday.
I need your advice!!
TL;DR: | breaking up with my boyfriend, dont want to hurt him. Not sure how to go about it. Still want to be friends with him |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [19/m]Infatuated with new co-worker. Need advice.
POST: I should probably start by saying I have pretty much no experience with women what-so-ever, never had a girlfriend, or even been kissed by another girl. I am also quite a loner, having no 'real life' friends since high school, that said I do have some great friends that I talk to often.
Last week I started a new job working in close proximity to this other girl. Its only been a few days and I can not stop thinking about her whenever I haven't seen her for the shortest amount of time. She isn't really what I would of considered my 'type' either, but she seems nice. Whenever I'm with her, I feel fine, and despite my lack of experience with women, I have no problem talking to her (I don't think). But when I get off work or have to leave for a while and find myself with nothing to do, she is the only thing on my mind and I find myself constantly looking at her facebook and twitter to find out more about her and fantasizing about having a relationship with her. Her facebook also says she is in a relationship, but not much else. I realize this can't be normal or healthy...
I have never felt like this before and can only assume its a phase. I have talked about this situation slightly with two of my friends who both have girlfriends, but don't really have anyone else to talk to it about, I have quite a good relationship with my mum and would normally talk to her, but I don't feel comfortable doing so this time. I just want some advice on what to do, and whether feeling like this is normal or not.
TL;DR: | I like new co-worker, she seems to kind of like me? She has boyfriend. Cant stop thinking about her. Advice? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Update: She [25] is not into me [27] based on this text response, right?
POST: Old thread:
Her: 25 year old female
Me: 27 year old male
Duration of interaction: 3 months
This girl that I've seen three times that I met through online dating has been acting a bit cold towards me despite some generally ok interactions. At the advice of the last thread, I used some blunt language with her and said:
I wanna take you on a date, somewhere cool. Saturday?
Her reply was "Saturday I'm going to a concert. And Sunday is my friends wedding."
And nothing else. I didn't reply to that because I had nothing to say. If she was into me, she would have been a lot more enthusiastic than that right? She didn't outright say "no thanks" or "I think we would be better as friends" but I think stuff is pretty clear. I nearly responded with "I would feel better if you tried to reschedule for a different day" but that seemed soooo whiny. Should I say anything back to her to keep the door open? Probably won't reply.
TL;DR: | asked a girl for a date on Saturday, she replied listing things she was doing on Saturday and Sunday and neither of us said anything else. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Friend of mine (17f) that I (18m) have my eyes on...
POST: I have a friend, she is an honors student at my college. She skipped a grade, just like I did, so we have a similar connection. I am a sophmore now, and she is a freshman. I love seeing intellectualism in a girl because it shows that they aren't as phased by the male-dominant society we live in. For most girls, it's easy for them to be stupefied by our society that just views them as eye candy and sex toys. That's besides the point, I'm not trying to start up a conversation about woman's rights, as important an issue as it is.
The first problem that prevents me and her from being together is the quesiton of age difference. She technically isn't an adult, yet I am. Its only about a year difference, but it's stil a legal grey area. Thing is, I honestly am not concerned with sex as much as most others are. I could wait 5 months until she was an adult. I honestly just want to be her friend mor than anything, because you cant have a good relationship that isn't based on friendship.
Basically, I'm in a crossroads, she's got her sights on another guy (23m)....and she is convinced that this guy actually wants something real with her. I find that it must be different. She hasn't told him that she's 17, and I told her that if he's a legit guy he won't care that she's a minor. I also said that, however, if it does phase him, he isn't worth it. I just wish this highly intelligable girl could break out from her immaturity and realize I can give her something real, and this guy that likely just wants sex isn't going to get her anywhere.
TL;DR: | I like a (17f), she likes a (23m) who doesn't know she's a minor. All I've done is tried to help her through it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/travel
TITLE: Travel from Milano (Italy) to Loussane (Switzerland). Some doubts.
POST: Hello next 23 of July I'll arrive to Milano to visit a friend of mine. I will be there just 2-3 days and then I'll go to Loussane (Switzerland), I didn't bought any ticket that part because I was unable to buy a train ticket and there was no planes.
So, what options I have to do milano-loussane? (train, bus), could any local citycen tell me prices and ask in the train companion if trais use to be full or I could just bought the ticket when I arrive there.
Sorry for my english, I'm spanish and I'm bad with grammar if you don't understand something I'll write it in another way.
TL;DR: | Price of a train ticket from Milano to Loussane and if I could buy it the sae day or it will probably be full/expensier? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [17 M] with my ex-girlfriend [15 F] of 3 months, first breakup, I feel horrible and can't bring myself to move on
POST: I am currently in high school as a junior and she is a freshman but being older because she was held back. The initial reason she broke up with me: she felt that I was not putting any effort into our relationship, we talked and got back together 4 days later.
---
2 days after that she called me on skype and we argued over the same things and she claimed she just couldn't do it anymore. I felt crushed, she was my best friend and we were so close, I expressed to her how much she meant to me, how much I cared.
---
I don't know if I'm feeling this way because i've never experienced this much hurt. She put me through the same tear-filled arguments twice, I thought it hurt the first time but the second time was so much worse. Her friends say she is equally hurt.
---
I can't seem to find happiness in any form, I won't find someone else. I would trade anything for her back , this seems lame but it's how I truly feel. I can't cope with this any longer, I don't seem to have an appetite and I am seriously scared at this point.
TL;DR: | My first real relationship ended, I feel terrible and I'm scared for myself. I want to go back but I know I can't. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 M] met a girl [20 F] and I am unsure how to proceed...
POST: Last night I went to get some pizza with a buddy and I ended up hitting it off with a girl who was working there. She was really great, and we spent about half an hour just talking. We were both really flirty with each other. I have plenty of experience with women, so this isn't one of those deals where a guy misinterprets "nice" as "flirty." We were both pretty clear about our attraction to each other.
About halfway through the conversation I offered to give her my number. She said she'd love that, pulled out her phone and texted me then and there. Again, it was very clear that this was not a "just being friendly" deal, but that there was genuine interest on both sides.
Eventually I ended up leaving. I texted her when I got home, joking that I had never gotten the cup of water that I wanted (my original pretext for going to speak with her at the counter). She never replied, but I didn't think anything of it. Earlier today I called her to see what her plans for the weekend were, but there was no response. No text or call back.
I know that it is her number since she texted me then and there, and there is no reason to think she would've given me her number unless she was interested too. If she wasn't interested she would've just taken my number and never given me hers.
I am genuinely interested and I am certain she was too, but I don't want to be weird or creepy. Obviously blowing up her phone or going to the pizza place again would be beyond creepy. Maybe I'm just getting overly excited over nothing, but I felt a chemistry with her that I haven't felt in a long time. And beyond the mere chemistry, I'd like to just be told upfront if someone isn't interested rather than be left hanging.
So Reddit, how should I procede?
TL;DR: | Met a girl, genuine attraction to each other, exchanged numbers, texted each other on the spot, but haven't gotten a response since meeting last night (3/24). How to proceed without being weird or creepy? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [31F] with my mom [57F], suffering guilt because I confronted her about her alcoholism
POST: My mom lives in a different country. She has been dealing with alcoholism since I was 9. She had the sole custody of us and she is really the only parent I have. There's been some better periods in between, but the drinking problem always comes back.
I stopped talking to her for 2 years because of her drinking and her behavior while drunk, but since I self started to feel better (?) I figured out I could have her in my life again. It worked for about 2 years and now she has started to call me drunk again, even though I have over and over asked her not to do that since I feel really horrible after each call.
I wrote her an email where I explained in a quite neutral manner that I need her to stop doing that and also explained what her drunken calls causes in me. I told her I've seen nightmares, got flashbacks of bad memories linked to her drinking, started feeling hate towards myself, felt quilt, fear, pity for her. I told her all these things has ben non stop in my head since her drunken call on sunday.
I tried to do what's best, I could have ignored it too and now I'm not sure if I just should have. She is getting older, she is mentally fragile and I feel guilty for telling her this. I even hope her denial kicks in and saves her from the truth. I'd rather be the bad guy here than have my mother killing herself because of the guilt. She has tried that once before.
The thought behind the email was to make her respect my boundaries and maybe even motivate her to stop drinking, which I don't expect but still secretly hope.
Am I a bad dog?
TL;DR: | Told my mom what kind of emotional trouble her drunken calls causes me, now afraid the quilt will crush her (and myself) |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: What tax form do I need? I am lost this year on how to files my taxes and made a few dollars over the free tax help service in my state.
POST: This year was a great year for me. I got a raise, a few more benefits from work and was able to significantly help out a charity in my area with volunteering my skills.
In years past I have been able to use a free tax help program in my state where they ask a few questions and tell me what forms I am looking for. I have been looking at tax help and filing FAQs and am so lost. Please help. I have been trying and I'm so confused now that I can no longer just do a 1040-EZ
Here is what I know I need forms to prove just not sure which ones.
- I have my work income, This I know I need my W2 from work which makes this simple.
- I made contributions to charities totaling 12,500 this year. What do I need to prove this here?
- I have an HSA that I contribute to from my paycheck. What do I need here? Is it the 8889? If so where do I get that from my HSA account/ bank is all online
- I have a SIMPLE IRA, Do I need something for this or is my taxable income already adjusted on my W2?
- Because of the Charitable donation that I made I am going to itemize my deductions. Is there a place for me to find a comprehensive list of what deductions I can itemize? (I am sure this will be a large list but I think it could be worth my time)
TL;DR: | I need to know which papers/forms I need to gather to accurately file my taxes. Thanks for your time. If I should post this elsewhere pleas let me know |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Is it a bad idea for me [F/23] to start dating someone [M/24] I like the personality of with the expectation that they'll lose weight?
POST: I met someone at my university that I get along with extremely well. He wants me to be his girlfriend. Based on his personality, morals, hobbies, I can see this person as a very good potential long-term partner for me. However, he is at least 70 pounds overweight. I like the features underneath (that sounds mean) and I can see past the weight if it is a temporary thing, but I dont want to be with an overweight partner eternally. I feel shallow............. He told me he's been more athletic than usual lately, doing sports and everything, in the effort to lose weight. But I know that's no guarantee.
What should I do? I always hear over and over again to not date someone with the intention to change them. Should I date him if I'm not happy with his current physical state?
TL;DR: | I am thinking of dating someone with the *high* expectation that he would lose weight... a LOT of weight... eventually. Is this a bad idea? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24F] with my friend [23F] - found her boyfriend on Tinder
POST: My friend has been with her boyfriend for around 3 years on and off. He has cheated on her multiple times, is emotionally abusive and very controlling. Over the course of their relationship, my friend's self-confidence has dwindled to nothing and he constantly tells her that she is "damaged goods and no one else will put up with her shit"...you know the type of guy I mean.
A few months ago she asked me a favour - to install Tinder and see if I could come across her boyfriend. He has previously cheated on her with girls he's met on Tinder and actually was involved with one for about a year (at the same time as he was with my friend). I was hesitant and said I didn't want to get involved because I knew she would end up hurt.
I spoke to her last week and they are having still problems (as always) and I didn't tell her, but I downloaded Tinder yesterday and scrolled through until I came across him. No surprise. I clicked "like" (or whatever it is that matches you with someone) and lo and behold, he had also "liked" me too. He obviously has not realised who I am (you can't really see my face in my picture) and he immediately messaged me saying "Hey, how are you? You look cute!"
So...that's where I am now. Do I tell her? I feel like I should have told her I was going to download the app before I came across him, but...I'm not the one cheating on her. Given his history, I know fine what he's up to on this app and I'm so sick of this piece of shit destroying my friend every time he cheats. I can't do anything about the cheating, but how do I tell my friend? I don't want to upset her but I know she will be.
TL;DR: | found my friend's boyfriend on Tinder, he has cheated multiple times and is emotionally abusive, how to I tell my friend? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskDocs
TITLE: Question about disposal of aborted fetuses in light of the "Gotcha" video circulating around conservative groups.
POST: So, [this] video has been showing up on Facebook and more conservative news sites.
Transcript is [here](
Basically, a group of abortion opponents claimed to be middlemen for research groups, spoke to Planned Parenthood's (PP) senior director of medical services, and recorded a 3 hour conversation with her.
The opponents claim that PP is technically avoiding the illegal practice of selling organs and body parts by charging a delivery and processing fee.
PP claims in the hidden footage that the charges are there to re-coop the cost of sending the specimen to researchers (admin costs in gaining consent, additional effort to preserve requested organs, etc).
They state that the fee would probably be around $30-$100 dollars
Is this a reasonable fee for this service?
TL;DR: | Planned Parenthood says, in a leaked video, that it costs them anywhere from $30 to $100 to send an aborted fetus to a research lab. Do you think they would lose money, break even, or make money? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: (25/F) Is my partner (25/m) looking at too much porn ? and what to do about it..
POST: So me and my SO have been together just over a year things are great in all aspects except this 1 thing and I'm not exactly sure what to do if anything at all. It all started when my laptop broke and he said I could use his until mine was fixed so anyway I go into downloads folder to open a pic Id downloaded and it opens and I see there is LITERALLY thousands and thousands of Porn Pics (easily over 100,000) I feel upset then feel bad for snooping (even though that wasn't my intention). Later that night I mention I'd seen it by accident, and he's not bothered that I saw it "its from ages ago" he claims. At this stage I don't really care as I know pretty much everyone looks at porn. Later on in the week chrome crashes so I boot up history to load my pages up and then boom I see just constant porn pages in it. At this stage I do the wrong thing but I couldn't help myself and I start to snoop and I just keep looking and looking through the history getting more and more upset because I realise that basically any time I'm not in the same room or I'm out of the house he's looking at porn and downloading/archiving it. Its soo much that I can see what time I get up in the morning (because the porn viewing stops) and then when I leave (because it starts again). I've never had a problem with ex's looking at porn but this just feels excessive and makes me feel crap about myself because of the excessiveness. I don't know whether I should Ignore and accept it or say something and if so what... any advice would be great and yes I know snooping is bad but it happened.
TL;DR: | He has 100,000+ porn pics and literally any time he's on his comp and I'm not near he'd looking at porn an I don't know what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My husband(24/m) of five years refuses to wear his wedding ring even though I(23/f) would really prefer he did.
POST: My husband and I will have been married for five years this September. He wore his wedding ring for maybe the first month of our marriage before he called it quits. I don't know why but it is really important to me that he wear it. It not only symbolizes our commitment to one another but when he goes out with his friends women will know that he is unavailable.
To be fair to him he has never given me any reason to worry about cheating and he simply just says he hates wearing jewelry and finds it uncomfortable, I just feel that because it is so important to me it should be important to him too. He is going to Vegas for our good friends bachelor party in July and I have casually hinted I would like him to wear it while he is there but I really don't want to come off as insecure or pushy. I could be completely off base here and just wanted to get some perspective from some male redditors.
TL;DR: | Husband refuses to wear wedding band because it is uncomfortable and he doesn't need that to remind him he is married. I worry about other women coming on to him, advice welcome. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [30 M] with my GF [29 F] of 9 months, she isn't happy with my photography of models, looking to get an outside perspective
POST: So my girlfriend and I have been living together for about 4 months now in our one bedroom apartment in New York City.
Pretty much my only creative or artistic talent is photography. I got started several years ago, and have been doing portrait work for about 2 years now. I have a small studio set up in our apartment which I use.
There's a website called Model Mayhem, which is essentially a Facebook for models, photographers, make up artists, etc... People can message back and forth with one another and set up shoots or castings and the like.
I use the website to message models (men and women) that I'd be interested in arranging a photo shoot. Sometimes the shoots are outdoors, but if they want a studio environment, they come to my apartment.
My girlfriend is aware of this, and does not like it when I have female models over. She'd rather me photograph exclusively men or children, no women at all.
I have done shoots involving lingerie in the past, but these are few and far between. I've never done any shoots involving nudity, nor am I interested in doing any.
I've tried to explain to her that there's absolutely no romantic subtext to these shoots. The model and I are not "hanging out" or getting drinks or anything. They're over for an hour or two (if we indeed do decide to use the studio), then I spend some time processing the images, then upload them to Dropbox and send them a link, and that's the end of it.
We've talked about it and she suggested that I speak to women that I know to get their opinion on if they'd be comfortable with the photography going on in their apartment with their significant other, and I figured that's a good idea and Reddit would be a good way to get that input.
TL;DR: | My girlfriend isn't happy with me having photoshoots with female models in our apartment. I've explained that's purely business and a creative outlet, and there's no romance of any kind involved. What do you think? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me (24F) confused over his (22M) interest in me
POST: I wasn't really sure where to turn to but I wanted to get the opinion of multiple people of multiple ages
I recently met a guy on Tinder, from the beginning I realised his texting was slow - for example, I would reply and then his replies would come hours later.
We ended up meeting face-to-face and hung out. After that I expected him not to contact me, I'm used to being rejected so quickly, but he did. His texts became a little faster, it shocked me.
After that initial meet we hung out 3 more times. I would spend the night at his house, but we've not had sex. The most we've done is cuddle as we slept - he always made the moves on me because I'm super shy.
Eventually, his texts became slower and slower - to the point it's taking him days to reply. I eventually asked him what he was looking for and it seemed like he was always flirting with me, he replied, "Yes I was flirting haha I'm lame when it comes to people I like" my friends believe this means he likes me but I feel like I got no clear answer. After that he flirted via text a little more by calling me cute and sending me <3
I'm getting mixed signals I feel. From past experience and from what I do, when someone's not interested in me/I'm not interested in someone I don't text back or my replies are slow... But when we are hanging out together I feel differently about the situation, feel like he's into me.
What do you guys think?
TL;DR: | feel like I'm getting mixed signals from a guy - fliers and is sweet and cuddly with me when we hang, barely talks to me when we don't. |
SUBREDDIT: r/cats
TITLE: [Advice] One of my cats has decided to go outside of the litter box sometimes, and it's getting worse
POST: I've had two cats for a little over two years now, both of them around the same age (two years), and both of them very friendly. We got them both litter trained early on, and things have been perfectly fine for some time. But about six months ago or so, one of the cats decided to poop on the bathroom rug. We got it cleaned up, cleaned the litter box (we thought that was the issue), and shrugged it off. A few weeks later, it happened again, this time on a different rug. Then again, and again, and again. It's gotten to the point where she's going outside of the litter box about 25% of the time. (Only when she poops. She always pees in the litter box.) And she's going pretty much wherever she wants when she does it. Bathrooms, living room, kitchen, you name it. It's enough of a chore to clean up the litter boxes regularly, especially with two cats. We can't handle doing it on the floor, too.
We've tried practically everything we can think of. We cleaned the litter boxes more often, we changed the litter (several times), we got new litter boxes, we moved the litter boxes around a bit, we tried working on diet stuff, nothing has worked. We haven't been able to find any cause for this, and it's simply getting worse and worse with time. We're out of ideas, so I'm hoping that you guys might be able to give me some advice or point me in the right direction.
TL;DR: | Cat started pooping outside of the litter box, we tried everything we could think of, she still does it. Help? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [m17] met a girl [f18] this summer who has left for college. Unsure what to do.
POST: One night in late June (two months ago) I decided to screw around on Omegle late at night. I somehow met a girl and we talked for hours. Got each other's skypes and subsequently talk endlessly for weeks. See each other in person a few times, and get along perfectly. I've never connected this well with someone (guys included), ever. I've been fine with girls so I never thought I'd met a girl online (and omegle of all places). We admitted we have strong feelings for each other.
Here is the problem: I am going into senior year of HS outside NYC and she is going to freshmen year of college in Philadelphia. She's been hesitant to talk about a relationship (neither of us have been in one) but also says she's never wanted to be in one until she met me. So I know this is a general question, but what do I do? It's not healthy for me to feel this way about a girl 100 miles away, but my heart aches at the thought of cutting it off because I've never met a girl like her. I know she feels the same way because we are very open. Her main objection is she wants someone to hold her at night, and that me not being around would be tough on her. I'm not very jealous, but the thought of her hooking up with other guys kills me (even though she's only been to first base once other than me). Thanks for any advice.
TL;DR: | Met an amazing girl in the start of the summer. She left for college and I'm in senior year of HS and unsure of where to go from here. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, where is a good place to stay in NYC for New Year's Eve?
POST: Hey,
First, I've only been to NYC once--so I don't know the area very well at all. Secondly, I assume traveling during New Year's Eve is a nightmare. But, I have no idea. I guess the metro could maybe handle the capacity. Maybe I'm totally overestimating the traffic...
So, my friends and I will be driving in from the West (Pittsburgh area). I'm assuming traffic will be crazy in the city so I have no idea what we will do with the car. I was thinking that it'd be smart to get a hotel in Jersey City or Hoboken or somewhere like that and just take a train / taxi into Manhattan. Is that plausible?
I live in Boston now and for the July 4, New Year's Eve, etc. the metro is pretty much a standstill--but only after like 10 p.m. Before that, it doesn't really seem noticeably busier. Is it like that in NYC for New Year's Eve? And, does anyone know at what time the metro starts to get swamped?
We don't really care about getting close to the ball or anything. I can't imagine how early you'd have to get there for that. I don't think we'll be able to even get to the area before 7:00 p.m. But, we want to at least be able to be in / around Time's Square around midnight--if that's possible.
Would we be better to just park at like a garage or something and then take the train into the city and stay in Manhattan? I know that's WAY more expensive but I don't want to go to NYC and miss everything because of traffic.
I'll really appreciate any feedback!
TL;DR: | PLANNING to drive from Pittsburgh to NYC; can't arrive before 7:00 p.m.-ish; want to be able to be in / around Time's Square. Any suggestions? |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: i'm pretty fucked up
POST: I recently is started questioning how i was getting so far in life and the answer was simple. I have no empathy. No love towards people. No hate for anyone on a personal level. I've never been in love but have been in several relationship and don't feel anything towards anyone. This includes family, friends and any asshole i'd hurt for fun. Its helped me get real far real quick. I've been promoted 4 time in the last year without hurting anyone mentally or physically, but as i work more and the more i love my job I'm starting to feel more.
Then this weekend i told my mom i love her. This brought her to tears as i've never uttered those words towards to mother. Not even once. Even when i was a young piece of shit.
Now i've never fallen for anyone in my life. Not the woman i dated. Not the people i screwed. Or the funerals i've attended. I feel nothing towards people or anything living. I could easily watch people i know die in-front of me but this is sadly changing. The more i work. The more i love my job. The more i care for these shitbags. I've even fallen for a someone. But i can't tell anyone that i wouldn't give a shit if they'd die. Or if i fucked there loved one. But work is fucking changing me. I've even started helping people.
Before when i didn't feel anything I didn't have any hatred towards people. I'd just use a motherfucker and get to where i need to be. But now i can't. I've also developed a fucking moral compass. Its fucking bullshit. With all this ball ass love its slowing me down as i don't know what to do.
So i decided to get some help which was fucking useless they'd just relay they same shit i spew back to me, here i am now writing this post on reddit. wooo!
TL;DR: | I've never been able to feel love for over 20 years and now its slowly seeping back into my life and killing me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My(18) boyfriends(20) best friend also used to be his fuck buddy
POST: Me and my boyfriend have been together now for about 15 months. His best female friend, and one of his best friends in general is a female he's known for about 6 years. Throughout their friendship they would fuck whenever they were both single, and he also cheated on his most recent ex (3 years ago) with her.
Is it justifiable that I am a little uncomfortable whenever he brings her up? And that I don't feel very comfortable when they chill together alone?
Not that I'm asking him to stop being friends with her, no, far from it, I'm just curious if me being uncomfortable regarding her is justified, or am I just being silly?
TL;DR: | My boyfriends best friend also used to be his fuck buddy, is it justifiable that I feel a bit uncomfortable with this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: If we were to get in to a war against a first world country, how exactly would the American perspective of warfare change?
POST: I mean it as in tank vs tank, jet vs jet, and naval warship against naval warship. For the sake of the discussion, neither country uses Nuclear Warfare so as to keep foreign relations from withering away completely.
I ask this because as far as I know, today's wars are mostly a first world country fighting against another which doesn't have a modern military to support it. We're fighting against enemies that don't have the resources to build tanks or jet aircraft, or to wage naval war at all.
If the USA and Britain were to get in a war for some impossible reason, with the outcome being that Naval servicemen dying aboard sinking ships, aircraft being shot out of the sky, and tanks being blown up by other tanks, how would the American media react? It's a front page story when a serviceman dies from a bomb, but how would it be if the USS Ronald Reagan were to be sunk?
I ask this mainly because I've thought about joining the Navy several times (Ideally as a pilot, but I have alternative aspirations), and it strikes me that today's service seems to be traveling the world first, and a job second, instead of "Defending your home country." I'd like to know how it would apply to all servicemen. IE, how would you react to having an enemy having their rifle taken away, but given a tank instead?
TL;DR: | What would it be like if we were to have something along the lines of WWI or WWII, but with modern weaponry on the two opposing forces as opposed to the urban warfare we so commonly see today? |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Landlord Refuses to give back deposit
POST: So me and my girlfriend have an apartment in Long Island NY and before renting the apartment we had a misunderstanding with the landlord. Basically we wanted to bring a cat and he stated that inclused in the security deposit is somesort of pet deposit for the cat but never clearly stated that we won't be getting the deposit back. We still haven't gotten a cat and we asked him just to make everything clear and now he is saying that he will not give us the deposit back, whether we get a cat or not. If we had known this at first we would've never agreed to getting a cat since the deposit is a lot of money and I can't really afford to lose $1100 in deposit money for a cat. I'm not sure if I should actually get a cat anymore and if this is something I can take to a small claims court in NY since we don't really have any lease or contract. Just an index card stating that we paid first months rent and security deposit.
TL;DR: | We wanted a cat and the security deposit(which included pet deposit) was paid but after we spoke to the landlord he said he will not give us our security deposit whether we get a cat or not. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I'm [17/M] pissed off at my girlfriend [17/F] for having sex?
POST: I'll keep it to the point.
My girlfriend and I split apart three months ago. She began seeing one of my friends, kyle. I hate kyle with a passion and they both know it. Kyle was a friend of mine and previously gave me his word that he'd keep away from her. However, now I know kyle isn't a man of his words. My aggression grew upon him even till this day. Her and him split and recently and the girl I planned on losing my virginity to has admitted to losing it to him, the guy I hate the most in the entire world. I feel so damn empty, jealous, sad, boggled, and all sorts of angry.
I know we were not together, but I can't get the image of him loving on her the way I want to. My girl was loved on by another guy, the worst guy. Why did it have to be him? I hate him even more than I do now and that's a lot. God, kyle is the worst. I feel like punching holes in my walls. Every time I see her I just can't get the image out of my head. I feel absolutely betrayed I feel broken.
TL;DR: | my girlfriend and I split and got back together. during our time apart she lost her virginity to the guy I despise the most. I can't help, but feel betrayed and sorry for myself, will my anger go away? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [21 F] tried to be more than friends with someone [23 M] close, even though he was seeing someone else.
POST: I met my friend online in December and we hit it off great. We talked every night for hours on end. Talking to him became the highlight of my day and we started to flirt. Pretty soon, about a month later, we told each other how we felt; he liked me and I like him. Seems simple right? Wrong!
A little before he met me, he had started to date around and found someone [19 F]. So while me and him were talking, he had been talking to her. I had known all along, but she didn't know about me. I tried to give relationship advice, however once I developed feelings for him I stopped. I couldn't help but to fall for him.
When we had confessed our feelings to each other, he had told me that he liked me more than the other girl. Things got heated the month after, but there was no cam sex involved in our relationship. It was a bit after Valentine's day when he decided to pursue things with the younger girl.
He said that he wanted to be a person that would follow through on his obligations. He said it was only fair since they started to talk first. I understood. He knew that both of us deserved more. He let me go, and I've been struggling to recover since then.
It's been over a month now since things "ended", but everything is still so messy between us. I can't help be feel like I fucked things up, even though it was both of our fault. I'm trying to be friends, but I still care and have those feelings for him. I don't know if he still has feelings for me though.
I want us to stay close, but I feel like I keep messing things up. Last night I asked him what he wanted to do about us?, but when he called to give me a response, I told him to wait until after tuesday. I know I'm love sick, but I don't know what to do. I don't want to lose him, but I feel like I've messed things up so much there's no way things could "be okay" between us.
TL;DR: | I still have feelings for someone who wants to stay friends cause he's dating someone else. How do I "save" our relationship to stay friends? |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.