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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, what are your thoughts on the 'chivalry is dead' argument
POST: This is something that in my non virtual life is frequently coming up but almost never online. My thoughts are that it is not. I like to think of myself as a gentleman and am fairly sure my wife would agree.
Plus the way I see it, chivalry is only one side of a coin which made up traditional gender rolls. From where I stand, the side encompassing traditional female rolls is now all but destroyed and the idea of a traditional lady looked down on. So why do women expect that males should still fulfill their traditional roll?
What are your thoughts?
TL;DR: | I think I'm a gentleman but why is that expected of me when women are not expected to fulfill their traditional roll? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22M] with my gf [21F] 4 years, ended our realtionship. what do i do.
POST: me and my girlfriend of 4 years broke up today.
We met in college just before my 18th birthday and have been with her since, been on holiday together countless times, dealt with family issues together, a death of a friend, she was always at my house etc the normal things you can expect of a relationship of this time span.
we decided to finish with each other, not because we dont still love one another or because we dont care about each other anymore, but because we both feel that it isnt going anywhere and that we are holding each other back..
now for the most part the relationship was good and normal in every sense. Now , the bad; we both have very separate groups of friends - very much her friends are her friends and vice versa. She doesn't talk or see my mother due mainly to habit i guess and it just kind of became set in routine that she didnt visit her. I only recently started making effort to visit her family more and get involved. Have been arguing or having disagreements or feeling off with each other more than usual recently.
Things had been a bit rocky this week and i think we both knew this talk was coming so we met after work to talk about things. we basically established that; we are both young, she wants to travel a bit / i dont, the stuff to do with our familys, we arent going to be together forever. we also discussed that we obviously still care for / still love eachother.
she still has a load of stuff at mine and am not sure when to meet her to return it?
but also how do i get though the next few weeks / months? should we talk? break contact completely for a while at least?
Even though it was a mutual decision and the thought crossed my mind time to time, it still hurts. allot. And as i said above still love her.
how should i go about this?
TL;DR: | Me and girlfriend of 4 years broke up after 4 years. how to cope, still hurts even though it was mutual. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: [21F] Gah! A dude hit on me in a non-alcohol induced situation. What do I do?
POST: Okay, so I hosted a comedy show at my school, and afterwards, this guy, who got on stage for the first time and did about 3 minutes and was pretty funny, came up to me and was like, "OMG, you're so funny! You're so...I don't want to say 'organic' but just the way you say things..." So then I replied with, "Yeah, I know; I'm a earthy bitch!"
Anyway, he asked me about some information about local open mics, and I said that I could send him a link with some dates. I was like, "Can I add you on facebook so I can message you?" And he said, "Yeah, sure, do that. **Also, if you want to say hi sometime, that'd be cool, too.**"
So my friend that I was with, he was like, "You know he wants you, right? Like, he's thirsty." And I said, "Really?" I mean, you think so?" And everyone I've told that to has been like, "OMG! That was totally an invitation!"
Okay, so I'm giddy and stuff, but I don't know what to do! I'm trying not to fuck up our conversation/ make it awkward/ look desperate as hell. Like, apparently, I've met this dude before at a bar on election night. So I sent him the link with the information, and he sent me a thank you response. I said, "You're welcome! No problem. Hey, were you the dude at [name of bar] who just wanted to get his wings?" And I plan on making him laugh about that, and then seeing if the conversation goes somewhere.
How do people do this? Usually if I'm talking with guys, they just tryin to fuck and they're drunk. This is completely new to me! GAH EXCITED!
TL;DR: | I've been hit on in a situation without alcohol. Dude told me to hit him up on facebook and say hi...is impressed by my comedy....how do I not fuck this up? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [23/F] how can I get [M/26] I'm seeing to be a better kisser?
POST: So I've been seeing this guy for a few weeks (we met on Tinder (eek) and have been talking for a while before) and to be honest, I'm not sure if it's going to work--maybe for this reason, maybe for others. But I want to make sure it's not because he's a bad kisser, because that's fixable, right? I'm not very experienced, but I KNOW he's not that great at making out. The past few times have been weird...and off-putting. Our relationship is mostly initiated by this guy--and very casual.
Or maybe I should end things with him? I don't even know why he's into me--he never compliments me or literally gives any sign of his interest (minus, well, making out of course). I'm not quite sure how to kindly end something casual. How does one do that?
TL;DR: | I need advice on either how to get this guy to kiss me better or how to end things with him (but in a kind way). |
SUBREDDIT: r/pettyrevenge
TITLE: The radio has a (petty) mind of its own
POST: An old story, but one of my favorites.
My brother and I get along now, but had a not-so-friendly relationship growing up. He would constantly tease me to the point of tears, claim that every fight we had was my fault, etc. One of my main gripes was that he always got the front seat of the car, and he always got to control the radio because he had really strong opinions about music and my parents didn't want to hear him complain about listening to something he didn't like (even if someone else liked it).
THE REVENGE: We went on a vacation and got a rental car. As usual, I get stuck in the backseat and he starts surfing radio stations to find something he deems worthy. All along, talking over anything I say and just generally being a jerk. Then I realize: I have radio controls in the backseat!
Every time he found a station he liked, I would either crank the volume WAY UP or wayyyyy down. I would stop for a few minutes, and then start up again...just to see him relax and then get mad again. After 10 minutes, he is screaming in rage at the radio "What the fuck is wrong with this thing..." blah blah blah.
Every time it hit a station I liked, I would stop, or only make tiny volume adjustments. Took him half an hour to figure it out. I got in tons of trouble with my parents, did not care at all. Laughed all the way to the hotel.
TL;DR: | my brother was generally a jerk, I messed with his precious music in the car and tricked him into thinking it was a faulty radio. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [M24] Worried about growing apart from my girlfriend [F19], she is in college and I work
POST: I have been with my girlfriend for 1 year and a few months now, and we met in college (her as a freshman, me as a grad student). The age difference has never been an issue for us, and when I got a job after graduation, she transferred colleges to be with me (and to be in a much better program). She has a dorm but basically lives with me in my apt. She is not one for partying or 'playing the field'.
I have always told her to go out and meet people and get involved (she joined a sorority, which she didn't care for) and has made a few close friends. I have never tried to suffocate her and always wanted her to have her own college experience, but I know she feels like she can not in some ways. I get up at 6am to work and usually am not home until 4 or 5, and I have weekend work sometimes as well. She feels very alone, and sometimes I do to- I went from having 30-40 close friends in college to not really having any friends besides her.
We have seen a therapist because we have both talked seriously about engagement and marriage, but I don't want to rush her through these college years. Now she says she needs a little bit of a break- not ending our relationship, but to just live at a friends house down the road for a little bit so she can 'miss' me and remember why she loves me. I am admittedly a little scared, but I think she is right. I don't want her to keep living with me or feel chained to me and begin to resent me.
TL;DR: | Gf and I are 5 years apart in age, she's still in undergrad, I work. We loves each other but she needs a break now to have some space. Has anyone been in a similar situation? Thank you |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (19f) boyfriend (21m) checks out other women.
POST: He said he was being honest with me but this is really tearing me apart inside. I almost wish he would just have lied to me. I can't even fathom checking out other guys, I'm not interested and I feel like I'd be mentally cheating on him.. we have been dating almost 6 months but he told me this around 3 months and it destroyed all off my self esteem and self worth, and it continues to get worse. I really do love him and I don't know why he'd want to even date me if I'm not good looking enough for him.. also he won't tell me what he is attracted to in those other girls, because if it was my body that's wrong I would change it for him.
TL;DR: | Does he really love me if he still looks at others? Or am I just too insecure? Should I make myself look at other guys too? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Need advice on helping Mother and Father through divorce issues.
POST: Hello everybody, I desperately need your help.
• My boyfriend just opened up to me about his family issues and I feel so helpless as to what I can do to help him, your advice would be greatly appreciated.
• His mother and father have been divorced for 10 years now, but recently - his father moved back into his mother's house (the house she bought for herself - I'm not sure why, neither is my boyfriend). She doesn't him staying over, because he verbally abuses her a lot and manipulates her with his words (telling her that she wouldn't be in this country if it wasn't for his visa).
• She can't kick him out because she is a very kind lady and doesn't have the power to stand up for herself (and also because what his father says about her being in the country because of his visa rings truth and she can't argue against it).
• So, she asks her son (my boyfriend) to talk to her father about letting him move out. She is depressed (wants to move back to her home country) because she is living with his father all the time and my boyfriend really wants to help. But how can he tell his own father to move out? He's getting himself into the middle of such a mess and it hurts to see him get so torn up about it.
• My boyfriend's afraid that his father won't act rationally when he talks to him about moving out (blow up or worsen the already flimsy relationship the family has).
• How can I help my boyfriend? I am by no means an expert in solving complicated family issues - but even advice on what he should do in his current family situation would be good. When he told me all of this, I hung silent for 2 minutes because what do I say? "Don't worry babe, I will be here for you if you need me" - it sounds so silly and fake - I know he's going through a really difficult time, and I want to help him through my actions, but how?
Your thoughts would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you so much for your time and advice Reddit.
TL;DR: | my boyfriend has to tell his father to move out because his mum is asking him to do so. how can i be there for my boyfriend? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: People of Reddit, what is the biggest lie you ever tell, where obvioulsy you were sure not get caught but were you failed miserably?
POST: Mine is like that:
I was 9 years old and my mother note that I always have some candies. Everyday. She check in my little piggybank and of course they were less cash than what was supposed to be there. She punish me.
Pass a fews days, she hear a funny sound coming from me. She ask me if I take some loonies again. I said no and showed her inside my pockets. Nothing.
I continue to do my thing before school but my mother hear again a sound from me. She's more insistant and ask a few more questions. I start to be very nervous. I fidget. That's when my mother realise where the sound was from.
My panties. I had put the change inside my panties.
I didn't receive cash for at least one year after that and everyone continue to laugh at me.
TL;DR: | Put some change inside my panties to buy candies. Lie to mom. Was caught. 21 years later everyone continue to laugh at me and tell every new person that have the bad luck to know my family. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [23/F] just ended my friendship with my really good friend [26/M].
POST: Unrequited feelings suck and he's been leading me on a lot recently. I confronted him about it and he said it doesn't feel right and he doesn't want to ruin the friendship. People would know when something isn't right within 2 minutes tops, but he kept initiating by holding my hand/cuddling/etc for the past two weeks.
It was time to be an adult and to stop having false hope. We messaged about it and I eventually said I thought it was best to talk/hang out a lot less. It was 10 hours ago and he hasn't responded. I guess I'm being too hopeful for him to reply to my request.
He's done the same thing last year, but nothing physical. I confronted him about it and he said he cares about me, but a part of him is scared to be in a relationship and he's trying to better himself first before getting into one. However, about a month after the convo, he became official with a girl two weeks after meeting her.
I've been getting two different advice from people about this. One side suggested I keep him as a friend since he's a really good friend and just tell him to stop crossing the line since those actions are not platonic. The other side said to shut the friendship down since my feelings won't be met.
I really hate doing this, but I think/hope i did the right thing?
TL;DR: | Into really good friend. Confronted him about his constant flirting/touching with me. He doesn't "feel right" about us being more. Told him we should talk/hang out less. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [16 M] having some problems with my girlfriend [16 F] , I'm having trouble deciding what to do
POST: Hey reddit, this is my first post so sorry if I make any major errors.
So my girlfriend and I have been together for about two and a half years now since freshman year in high school. As always, I truly did love her at first and somewhere along the line something happened and it's not the same. I'm not sure how to go about this, I just want someone's opinion on what I should do about my predicament.
We argue on an almost daily basis and on most days I'm not excited to see her or spend any time with her. I'm still attracted to her however and we have sex on a very regular basis. I'm beginning to think that's the only reason I'm still with her as much as I hate to say it.
She is constantly condescending and very rude to me. She hangs out with almost exclusively guys, most of which I have never met. I suspect she is cheating on me but I stopped caring a few months ago. I buy her gifts fairly often and she acts as if I do nothing for her.
The only reason I'm afraid to break up with her is because we share a lot of friends and classes together and I feel like doing so would impose me feeling comfortable around any of them again. I feel almost like I'm expected to stay with her because of how cute everyone thinks we are together and says how we'll be together forever. This is my first relationship and I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm sorry if this was extremely vague, ask questions if you're intrigued enough and I'll probably answer. I just really want an outside opinion on this...
TL;DR: | I'm a 16 year old in my first relationship and I hate it but too much of a bitch to break up with her... |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I'm currently working with Vector Marketing (A division of Cutco) is it a scam?
POST: I was hired last week (I found the job on Workopolis and had an interview the very same day I applied, which I found to be pretty cool) but then I saw how many people they were hiring, and then my confidence went down.
I had a three day training seminar (which apparently no one gets paid for) and then had to shell out $111 for the 5 piece training kit to show my "appointments."
I've had a few friends that almost did this job last year and told me it was a scam. I mean, I really don't feel confident to work with Vector because I'm not a sleazeball that can sell cutlery to people. I've done a little research on Vector/Cutco on reddit and I'm still unsure, is this a scam and should I leave now?
TL;DR: | I'm Employed at Vector, I heard from friends it's a scam. Not really confident working there, is it a scam? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm (27F) supposed to be a bridesmaid at a friend's (28F) wedding next weekend, and I just learned that my aunt has passed away and her funeral is the same day, in a different state. Who do I choose?
POST: My friend (let's call her Brigit) is getting married next weekend, in a town about a four hour drive from me. I am a bridesmaid in her wedding. We were once best friends, if that's relevant, but have grown apart a bit over the years. I still consider her one of my close friends, but not quite "best friend" status anymore.
I just got a call, though, from my mom, telling me that her sister (my aunt Jane), whom we are very close to, passed away very unexpectedly. Jane's funeral is the same day as Brigit's wedding, and in a completely different state, so I couldn't attend both. My mom is completely torn up, as am I. I'm sure Jane's husband and children are just completely heartbroken.
I'm really not sure what to do. I would hate to bail on Brigit's wedding so close to the date, since I'm in her wedding party, but I also considered Jane like another mother to me, and I'd feel very guilty not being there for her family and to pay my respects. How would you handle this, r/relationships?
TL;DR: | My aunt's funeral is scheduled for the same day I'm supposed to be a bridesmaid in my friend's wedding, in a completely different state. |
SUBREDDIT: r/askwomenadvice
TITLE: How to overcome the 'overwhelming' stage before or preventing an orgasm?
POST: Okay so this is a slightly more personal and intimate question but it is really bugging me - I'll keep this as short as possible. First let me apologise for the slightly more 'sex related' post, I will be submitting to /r/sex as well but just thought asking the women of reddit might get me some much needed help also!
So I [20M] and my girlfriend of 2 months [20F] have been spending our time together really getting to know each other on an emotional level (something that is rather new to me) and we haven't actually had sex yet, the most we've done is me going down on her (which I really enjoy).
Last night I went down on her, and I could tell by her body language and the few words she could manage that she was absolutely loving it - I felt like I really teased it out and got her genuinely in the mood before doing anything, and tried to keep her as relaxed and comfortable as possible. This was going on for a good 9-10 minutes or more. HOWEVER, when things started to get really intense for her, (primarily just using my fingers) she felt overwhelmed, and I stopped and we talked about it.
Basically she said she's never come to climax before and all the previous times it's just been a plateau of intense overwhelming (but limited) pleasure - so how can I help her get past this and help 'finish her off' to a thoroughly enjoyable climax?
TL;DR: | girlfriend has never climaxed, only gets to an intense, overwhelming phase which after a while becomes uncomfortable. How can I help her get past this and for us to have a really good sex life? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Would you say I need to talk to a professional (depression)
POST: Hello there friends. My apologies if this is the wrong sub, but I'm not sure where to turn. I am wondering if I should talk to someone professionally about depression, and some other things that are going on.
I have been down for a long time, but I know a lot of people have it way worse. And I have a lot to be grateful for. But (sorry to sound melodramatic) I feel dead inside. Not always in a painful way, but just this ever present feeling of doom. I just always feel bummed out at least slightly.
Also I have done things I am not proud of. Nothing terrible, but just stuff that I am ashamed of. Like everyone I have an active imagination but sometimes I have disturbing fantasies that have been violent in some cases. Now, I would never harm anyone else or myself, but I just am worried that it's not healthy. Honestly I feel I am a shitty person.
My patience for things is really short these days, I seem to let things get to me super easily. The dumbest stuff can make me grumpy. Then I'll be short with people I care about. I seem to have lost a bunch of friends. I've put on a bunch of weight. I'm making my beautiful wife's life a bit worse to some degree. I'm always there for her but sometimes I am a dick.
Anyway, sorry for the rambling. Just venting. Things seem to be getting more sad all the time, so I'm thinking it's time I made some changes. And maybe seek some help. Thanks for reading.
TL;DR: | I feel more and more down all the time, and I have become someone I don't like. Should I seek help, or just make some changes on my own first? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 M] with my SO [21 F] and her friend [28 F] SO's friend got a really bad tattoo but she doesn't want me to say anything.
POST: So my SO's friend recently went and got a wrist tattoo with 3 of her friends at a local shop. They each got the same thing. It was a bible verse with the pink cancer ribbon behind it. The artist messed up one of the tattoos by forgetting to put the letter "X" in "Exodus". How the fuck does this happen at a "professional" place of business?
Anyways, fast-forward to today and my SO's friend decides to go back to the same shop and get yet another tattoo. I have NO IDEA why they thought it would be a good idea to go back again. She ended up getting a mermaid taking up most of her upper thigh. She sent a text in the middle of a break to my SO saying "look at my new tattoo!". My SO showed me the picture and I literally felt sick. The mermaid looks absolutely AWEFUL. I am by no means an artist, but I know I could draw a better mermaid than this "professional" put in ink on my friend's body. The proportions are wacky, the lines are uneven and don't line up correctly, and it looks like a Barbie doll.
My SO doesn't want me to say anything because of the fear that it would hurt her feelings. I want to tell her so she can go back and get it fixed before it is too late. Only the outline is done so far. It is soooo bad. If I had a tattoo this bad on my body, I know I would want my friend to tell me. This is going to be stuck on her for the rest of her life. And it makes me sick that this place has messed up 2 tattoos now (that I know of) and call themselves "Professional" artists. So reddit, how should I handle this situation?
(I can upload some photos if requested to see how terrible the tattoo is.)
TL;DR: | My SO's friend got a really bad tattoo. SO doesn't want me to say anything for fear of hurting her feelings. What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by trying to steal my textbooks for the semester
POST: So this literally just happened to me so I'm still a little emotional so I'll try to be concise and clear.
I decided to go to my universities's memorial center and grab some breakfast and pick up some textbooks before my 11 AM econometrics class. I left around 10 so I figured I'd get to my class around 10:45 all ready to go.
That's not what happened....
While I'm in the bookstore I grabbed some refillable lead and two of my 4 textbooks required for my semester. I proceeded to sneakily put them in my backpack without anybody seeming to notice and I headed out the exit. As I made it out of the store and up the stairs to the main lobby, I was stopped by a man with a walk or talkie and he asked me if I had any unpaid merchandise on me. Quickly I noticed two more staff members circle me outside the bookstore waiting for me to dart away. However I conceded and went with them back into the bookstore and into an office where I sat and was lectured by the staff as well as a campus police officer who made his way down to write me a ticket while most of the students in the book store are just watching me get fucked. Incredibly embarrassing and simply not worth it in the end. Now I'm sitting in class writing this wondering how much this judge will fine me when I have to go to court in a month.
And the worst part is, I didn't need to steal the books. You can rent books at most universities including my own and I could of easily afforded but I was being greedy. Hope all you returning and new students do the right thing and pay for your textbooks. Stealing them simply isn't worth it.
TL;DR: | stole some textbooks from my bookstore on the way to class. Got caught, had to still pay for them and now I have a court date for theft :( |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: So my girlfriend worked for a merchandising company but has yet to be paid. We really need the money and we don't know what to do.
POST: Ok so i won't take much of anyones time but my girlfriend was an employee of Convergence Marketing doing cosmetic resets for Cover Girl. These take usually around 7-8 hours in total and the company pays her anywhere from $85-$100 per job. During the month of June she did around 10-11 of these but the company refuses to pay her for the work done. She filled out all of the paperwork, got the stamps from stores and signatures but still no response. She called her district manager and she told us to call payroll, so we call payroll and they tell us to call the district manager. We have tried every outlet and nothing is helping. We really need the money at this point badly, we have a 7 month old daughter and bills to pay, we are barely scraping by at this point. I know to a lot of people it doesn't seem like much but when you have to use your own money to buy gas to goto a job that refuses to pay you, it really sucks.
The company is saying that they have yet to receive the required paperwork for payment but she mailed in other forms that she had been paid for. (other forms were for jobs paying 11-20 bucks per job and they were included in the same envelope as the larger unpaid jobs) At this point i just need advice on how to deal with this situation and get what is rightfully hers. I know you may think $800-$900 isn't a whole lot of money but its lost wages and when we were spending money on gas to get her to different stores (the company doesn't pay milage) it really adds up.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend gets job and does the work for them, but they say they haven't received her paperwork. We have a daughter and are broke because of this. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I want kids, she doesn't...what now?
POST: I'm in my early/mid twenties and I've been with my girlfriend (same age) for the better part of a year. She's the first person with whom I haven't been scared to think of "bigger picture" stuff i.e. long term goals, marriage, kids, etc - all things I eventually want in life. We've talked about moving in together, abstractly talked about being together "years from now," even hinted at marriage. However, she's talked (almost jokingly at times) about not wanting kids, and I've always shrugged it off and not thought much of it. Tired of dancing around it, I asked her point blank, and she flat out told me she did not want children.
There's part of me that says I'm too young not to be living for the moment and simply enjoying a relationship with a girl I'm madly in love with. But how can I do this with full knowledge that our long-term plans do not align on this one particularly important aspect?
Obviously I'm not the first person to ever have this issue. I guess what I'm wondering is...is it really just a question of what's more important to me - kids or her? Is there a deeper, more nuanced way of looking at it?
How do I handle this? Not wanting kids is an eventual dealbreaker for me, but am I too young to even have a dealbreaker like that?? I'm not comfortable waiting for her to have a "maternal epiphany."
With all that in mind, saying that we're "wasting time" feels insulting to how close we are and the incredibly meaningful experiences we have together. Despite all this, I know that at some point I will have to reconcile this with her in some way. Anybody been here before?
TL;DR: | Mid-twenties, I want kids, she doesn't, we're great together in all other aspects. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Bf's(22) ex gf(20) lives across the street. Any suggestions for me(f19) to get over this?
POST: Ill give a full but quick story. New boyfriend and I have been going out for a little over 2 months. Things have been great, we get along amazingly and I'm totally falling for him. He moved out into a friends old family home when we first started dating. Well, his ex, whom I went to middle and high school with lives across the street. I trust him completely. They were only together for a short time but the jealousy in me just can't stand it. We had a small get together about a month ago and she came... She was a huge bitch me to the whole night for being with a guy she dumped... She was over again last night, we both didn't see her, just heard her voice... (His roommate and her are best friends...)
This instantly put me in a bad mood.
I'm not sure why I feel so strongly about this... Is there a way I can just get over this because I want too. Any input reddit? Thanks!!
TL;DR: | my boyfriends ex lives across the street from him... We see/hear her often. I'm trying to get over it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: When I was seven, I unintentionally covered myself in newborn baby spiders. Reddit, what insects just plain scare the shit out of you and what horror stories do you have for me?
POST: When I was seven, my mother brought home one of those fancy, electric fly swatters that resemble tennis rackets. Being the evil seven-year-old that I was, I used to find enjoyment out of trapping bugs in it and then turning it on.
One day, I was prowling around the backyard, preying on helpless grasshoppers and crickets when I came across a rather fat looking spider. He was rather slow moving, so I placed the racket on top of him and turned it on. He went frantic for a second, the racket popped a few times, and he curled up and died.
Unknowingly why I did this at the time, I leaned down and rested my chin on the ground to look at the spider closer. I guess I was just trying to check out its body parts because I thought bugs were pretty fascinating then. As I did this, I realized three things.
1. The spider was not a "he".
2. The spider was not fat. She was carrying an egg.
3. Right as I rested my chin on the ground near said spider, with my body laid out in a vulnerable position, I realized the egg had just popped and most of the spiders inside had survived.
Within five seconds, I was completely covered in hundreds of baby spiders. Commence screaming and flailing. Mother comes outside and starts to freak, at first thinking I'm covered in ants because this has happened occasionally. Realizes it's not ants and drops me on the floor. Stepfather tosses me in a tub full of scalding water. Irrational fear of baby spiders ever since.
TL;DR: | Kid electrocutes fat spider. Lays on ground to investigate spider. Turns out fat spider is actually skinny spider with fat egg sac. Egg sac bursts, covered in spiders. Dad throws me in a scalding hot shower. |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: Are there any virtually no calorie, pre-prepared snacks (i.e. not veggies or anything requiring heating or cutting) to eat when you need to chow down on something?
POST: I've been dieting for 2 months &, while I'm losing weight, I find it very difficult still because I have binge-eating disorder, and occasionally I just must binge, or not doing so results in a 12x worse binge later on.
I'm looking for a low or no-calorie snack to binge on when the need hits that meets the following requirements. I doubt anything like this exists, but it can't hurt asking...
* Requires little to no preparation (i.e. cooking, heating, cutting up). Only acceptable form of preparation is something I can do while sitting on the couch.
* Does not require me to wash my hands after eating; i.e. a napkin will suffice for hand-cleaning. Most veggies and other sticky, wet foods do not meet this requirement.
* Reasonably priced.
So far, the only thing I've found is radishes dipped in salt. I can sit on the couch, cut off the ends (which takes just a couple seconds & doesn't require a whole cutting board & place to wash my hands), & dip away. Plus, they come in a plastic bag so they're easy to cart around.
TL;DR: | I'm essentially looking for the dieter's version of a bag of chips. I hate carrots, & I'm on a calorie-limiting diet, so things like nuts are out. Suggestions? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [F], in love with my best friend [M], both [26]
POST: I met him on a popular dating site and we've been talking constantly for about almost 9 months non-stop now. We agreed that we'll be there for each other always, but I've always had feelings for him since the very beginning and he acknowledged it. When we talk it's usually about his troubles with dating sites in general...you know, not a lot of women would talk to him. He's amazing but not a lot of people can see that.
But the last 2 weeks he's been absent more or less. I have to initiate everything, and all I get is lukewarm reception (HOURS later). He did say something about talking to someone closer to him, but reassured me that I remain his only best friend. I'm incredibly jealous and blind with rage. I don't know why, because I know it's incredibly unfair to expect him to have feelings for me. But I hate it so much. He doesn't talk to me so much anymore. He said that he'd never abandon a friend for anyone, but I guess those are exaggerations. We used to play Facebook games but my invite has been ignored for more than two weeks now.
People of reddit, what should I do? Stop initiating conversation? I'm hoping that all these are just my imaginations...or my hormones fucking me up from the inside.
TL;DR: | fell in love with my bestie who shares everything with me but he's distant now, possibly because of a new girl. do i still initiate convos with him now that he's clearly forgetting that i exist? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by Modding a Dance Dance Revolution Pad
POST: Technically my first post here, since my real first post was removed. Apparently turning a hard drive into a floppy disk is "too common" of a mistake.
Here's a bit of back story: I've been playing DDR a *lot* lately. And by *a lot* I mean *I've spent over $100 at the arcade playing it.* So I decided to purchase a $350 dance pad for at home. (Expensive, I know, but completely worth every nickel.) Since I ordered mine after May 2015, I got a new model that has pressure plates under the arrows.
Here's the screwup: Today I attempted to perform one of the mods shown on their YouTube channel, which is to simply slide the pressure plates out of the pad, thus making it more sensitive and easier to play on. So I peel up the velcro and everything (it's military grade stuff; it doesn't stay open easily). I then proceed to slide the first couple panels out without mch of a problem. My fingers were kinda sore at that point, so I took a quick break.
After going at it again for the last pressure plate, it wouldn't budge. Well, it would move side to side a small bit, but wouldn't slide toward me. So I loosen a bit more velcro and try again. Still caught on the lip of the velcro with not enough room. So I grip it as hard as I can with the sides of my index fingers (which is the only way to do it since there's not a lot of space) and just reef on it. After a bit of tugging and moving it side to side to slide it back and over the velcro, I finally get it slid out, and by that time my index fingers were tomato red and in immense pain. Turns out I have myself 3 water blisters: one on the side of each index finger, and one on the first joint on my left index finger. They're *REALLY* painful, and I half regret doing the mod (even though it feels like an actual arcade pad now.)
TL;DR: | I tried to take the pressure plates out of a Dance pad, ended up giving myself a total of 3 painful water blisters in inconvenient places on both index fingers. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 M] with my GF [21 F] of 18 months, she broke it off with me 3 months ago, slept with her ex 2 weeks later, then wanted me back
POST: Throw away for obvious reasons.
Title says it all, girlfriend of 18 months broke it off with me because "She wasn't sure about us" around July. Of course I was shattered, 2 weeks later she sleeps with her ex and tells me the day after, regretted it, and wants to be with me again.
After a month I took her back and now I don't know anymore. she admitted she rushed into our relationship because she wasn't 100% over her ex (they broke up around 8 months before we made it official). I feel like the majority of the relationship was a complete lie, I loved her 100% while she was struggling with her own feelings. She claims she's 100% now, but it plays on my mind constantly. She was tossing between me and her ex, slept with him when she saw fit and now that she realizes I'm the better catch, she wants me.
I understand we were broken up, but it's the fact that it was her ex. Out of all people she chose him, clearly there were feelings involved and after telling me she wasn't 100%, that just did it.
Unsure as to what I should do, seeking advice.
TL;DR: | GF broke it off with me, slept with her ex 2 weeks later, admitted she never got over him, got back with her a month later, now i'm unsure. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [25M] date [25F] cancelled our first date, not sure what to do next
POST: I was at a buddy's house a couple of weeks ago hanging out and playing Cards Against Humanity with some friends. One of the other couples there brought along a friend who was friends with the wife. It's 3 married couples, then me and this girl as the only single people there. We play cards, we laugh,we have a good time. I leave a bit early since I had somewhere to be the next day.
A couple of days later my buddy tells me that the girl left her number for me before she left. Great! I get the number and call her to ask her out, and she accepts. Cool! We text back and forth deciding what we want to do, and she's saying that I seem like a great guy and she's excited to get to know me. Awesome, this is going well. As we get closer to the day of the date, I call her to work out the final details,what time, etc. Voicemail. Ok, no big deal, left a message. Didn't hear back, so the next day (the day of the date) I texted her. No response for a few hours until she tells me that she got called into work and has to cancel, but would like to reschedule. These things happen. So I said I would like to reschedule and ask when she might be free next. I haven't heard anything since then.
So what should I do next? It's been a couple of days. Should I wait to see if she contacts me? Or should I reach out to her? Or just let it go entirely? Considering we barely know each other, I don't want to seem clingy or desperate. Thanks for any help or advice!
TL;DR: | Date cancelled on me, I try to reschedule but haven't heard anything for a couple of days. What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My dad [49M] wants me [26F] to meet his new girlfriend [50sF] but there's a twist..
POST: To give some context, he hasn't had the best track record with women in the past. My dad is a great guy with a solid job and house but he seems to have a savior complex because in the past, he's only drug addicts, thieves, drunks, etc. His last relationship was a whirlwind romance where he ended up taking care of a woman and her two kids while none of them worked and would steal from my bedroom while I was away at college. One of the kids ended up getting into an argument with my dad which led to both of them going to jail for breach of peace, and he has since divorced her.
About a month ago my dad started dating a new woman whose daughter I used to know from middle school (she was a huge druggie and was having threesomes at age 13). The woman doesn't have a stable job and has not met my grandparents or anyone else in my family that live in the same town. I live a few hours away in a different state but have not spoken to her either. My grandma was under the impression that their first date was less than a week ago.
My boyfriend and I are planning to get married and so we invited my father and grandparents to come up to meet his parents for the first time. My dad has asked to bring his new girlfriend as well. I said that I wasn't comfortable with this and would rather meet her first, especially considering that the purpose of this meeting is for the families to begin discussing our future as a couple. He's saying that its unfair and that he doesn't ask for much, and only a judgmental/bad family wouldn't welcome someone new with open arms. My boyfriend and I are in agreement that it would be more appropriate for us to meet her first, simply because it will already be an overwhelming experience considering the circumstances. Ive offered to drive to meet her first but he said that wouldnt be necessary. I can't seem to figure out the best way to not offend my father (that I am very close to) without compromising our own comfort.
TL;DR: | Dad is insisting that his girlfriend of one month be introduced at my engagement announcement. Nobody in my family or his has met her and my dad has a long history of dating fuck-ups. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU: "Its a stripper name"
POST: Don't want to break tradition, but this actually happened today. I'm a college age male who goes to a mostly male university. Girls are few and far between and attractive ones are ever rarer. So a week or so ago I met some girl at a party and for some reason we actually talk for most of an hour. She's not bad looking at all but is very skinny and has big hair and uses just a little to much makeup (just an opinion, it adds to the story a bit). It was probably because I was fairly inebriated and had nothing to lose in making conversation. Anyways we talked for awhile and I actually remembered her name, which is uncommon for me.
Fast foreword to today and I was sitting in the main dining hall with a small group of friends and a few guys I'd met on a occasion or two. We were shooting the breeze and trying to derive some nourishment from the terrible food service meals. To make a joke at the fact that our university is just a big 4 year sausage fest I pointed out a group of guys sitting at a table with one girl, each one trying his luck and hanging onto every word she said. It was the same girl that I had chatted with at the party a week earlier. After making the joke I go back to eating and I stop paying attention to the group of guys and the one girl. A few minutes passes and my roommate (one of the guys) says "oh yeah her names destin....." and I open my stupid mouth and say "yeah I remember that because its a strippers name". It happens that he stopped mid name because she had gotten up and was walking right behind me and looked at him when he said her name.
After I make my great comment everyone at the table is dying with laugher that the whole dining hall can hear and I look over my shoulder to her walking away. I don't know if she heard my comment but she for sure heard my roommates. my roommate then spent the rest of the day giggling over my fuck up.
TL;DR: | I recalled a girls name because it was a strippers name and she was right behind me, open mouth insert foot. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I was just told by my friend [15f] that I [15f] have a very 'flirtatious' personality? I don't know how I should feel about this?
POST: My friend just texted me that other girls have been telling her that I was one of the 'flirty' types? I don't think I'm flirting, I'm just being nice and talking to people. I just talk to a lot of guys, and it's easier for me to be comfortable around them.
She said it's because of the way I laugh or talk, and I don't know what's distinguishing me as a 'flirty' type. I don't want people to think that I'm flirting or being flirty.
First of all, should I be taking this as a good thing? And how should I stop other girls from getting the impression that I'm flirting? (Yes, I do laugh a lot and act silly/playful around guys)
TL;DR: | Girls think i'm flirting with a bunch of guys. Is this a good thing?How do i stop this from happening? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 M] with my Girlfriend [22 F] of 2 years, thinking about another girl for her.
POST: Hey people, My GF and I are really in love and are both very confident in our relation ship.
She was shy before to try anything else than normal sex, but I always slowly talked her into advanced things (vibrator, anal sex) and once she tried it she likes all of it now. I am abroad now for work, she at home.
Today she was texting me in the morning that she had a dream about cheating on me with another girl, and that she even had orgasm in that dream that woke her up. We were talking about it and she admited she liked it a lot. After like hour of texting (and me convicing her that Im ok with it) she admited that that fantasy turns her on, althought she never even thought about it before. The dream just let it all out. She never had any bisexual experience except one kiss with friend.
She now accepted that we might bring another girl to bed, but she is quite jelaous. She stated sevral times before that thought of me having sex with another woman would brake her heart, and it still pressists after this dream. She and I are ok with her having sex with another girl while I would watch, but later she was talking about me having sex with her from back while the other girl woul be pleasing her from the front, which Im okay with too.
We are now both pretty much excited about this, even though I know I wont be allowed to please / get pleased by that other girl.
I would like to ask if you have any experience with this situation. Since we both want it and are sober while talking it trough, is there any harm that could lead from it? As much as I want this happen, I dont want it breaking realtionship after just because of something I dont forsee.
Have any of you tried *threesome* like this before, where the other girl was just for her? What are your experiences? Any advices?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend want another girl in bed for her, but not for me. I want it too, but I worry if it could somehow damage our relationship. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [30M] just realized that my wife [30F] and I don't have any common interests. Need advice on how to revive relationship.
POST: I have been with my wife for 5 years, married for 2. In the beginning, everything was great. We would spend hours talking to each other and truly enjoyed each other's company. We didn't really do a lot of stuff together because we were some-what long distance (1 hour flight or 5 hour drive). So when we met up, we usually spent time eating out or watching movies.
After we got married, we moved in together and overcame the typical issues (cleanliness stuff mainly). However, over the last 6 months, I've realized that we don't really enjoy hanging out with each other anymore. The only time we spend together is eating dinner. We've stopped having sex as well. Mainly I don't really feel the desire to and she has also stopped trying. I also realized that we don't have any common interests. She likes home decorations and socially drinking but hates physical activities. I like outdoors activities (sports, hiking) and would rather play board games than hitting the bars. We both used to enjoy traveling but her work has been busy and she doesn't feel like she can take any days off.
I've suggested counseling, but she doesn't want to go and would become upset when I press the issue. I'm trying to think of some ways to discover more common interests without making it seem like I'm forcing it.
What are some activities or common interests that I can subtly introduce that are less physically demanding but still get us out of the house?
TL;DR: | Wife and I are drifting apart due to lack of common interests/activities. Need advice on stuff to do so we can connect again. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 M] with my Girlfriend [24 F] of 3 years...am I wrong for wanting her to put me before her family?
POST: I couldn't find work after college in the city we were from, but I got a good job in my field in another city across the country. I moved last January, and she eventually moved out with me in September. She comes from a tight-knit family, and is constantly missing them, to the point where she gets very sad. I've been looking for work where her family is in order for her to not be away from her family any longer. Is it wrong that I wished she wasn't missing her family so much, and that she was as happy as I am with just the two of us being together?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend moved away from her family to live with me, and I wish she wasn't as sad all of the time |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [21F] boyfriend [21M] doesn't know how to feel about upcoming abortion-- I want to help him cope.
POST: I'm 21 and just recently found out that I was pregnant. I've known for a long time what I feel would be the best choice for me in this scenario, and that's an abortion.
I have discussed this with my boyfriend of 6 months (been friends for 2 years before) and we are at a mutual agreement.
I've read up on the effects of an abortion on a relationship and I feel like with our agreement on the subject, we'll be okay. However, when I ask him about how the situation makes him feel, he just responds that he's not sure, confused about how to feel, and mostly focused on making sure that I'm okay.
That's very kind and supportive of him, but I want to help him come to terms with it instead of not addressing the emotions and having unresolved issues with it later on. I know guys usually don't like delving into emotional territory but I really want him to be able to deal with this healthily.
So, does anyone have any suggestions for helping him out? Should I just leave it alone? I don't want him to focus too heavily on me and push aside any equally-as-important feelings on his part.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend and I have decided to get an abortion. He seems to not know how to feel and wants to put his focus on my wellbeing-- how do I help him deal with his feelings about this healthily? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Suffering Redditors: Did you tell your Dr. about your hemmorrhoids?
POST: I'm 24 and I started having some problems down there about 3 years ago. They seem to be getting worse lately. There's not a ton of blood or anything but it can become really inflamed/painful and lead to constipation. I was thinking about going to the Dr. to see if this could be a symptom of some other problem, because I feel too young for this. On the other hand, I have the suspicion that this is actually quite common and just something I will have to deal with, and it would be a waste of my time and the Dr's to schedule a visit for just this. So I am anonymously asking if anyone else has talked to their Dr about it, if it's common to have these at this age, and what kind of remedies work best for you.
Other Info: I sit on my ass all day at work, but I'm not overweight. My current self-treatment involves trying to eat high fiber foods, like lentils, and applying witch hazel when it gets bad.
TL;DR: | Is it normal to see a doctor when you first start getting hemmorrhoids, if not, what remedies work best? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I [20m] help convince someone [21m] that I am with dating?
POST: EDIT: How do I convince him that I am WORTH dating?
So he and I have been hanging out a LOT recently with our group of friends [19-24m/f] and even more recently its been just the two of us hanging out alone. Basically its like he and I are always together, and if we find something to do with the group, then we do it, if no one else can then we do it by ourselves.
I know he likes me because I've been told by someone who is close to both of us that he has told her that he does like me. It's not so easy to just like ask him out on a date or ask him to be my boyfriend and I'll explain why next.
He's found himself refusing to date because he went through a couple bad relationships and now he's convinced everyone is the same.
I know I'm not the same as his other relationships, and I REALLY like him, I just want to be able to love him openly and receive that love back.
My efforts so far include jogging with him almost every night but really its every other night, going to his football games that he plays with the local league, playing volleyball with him and his group of friends, and the biggest thing I've done is try to help him cope with his depression.
He confided in me by telling me that his last ex brushed it off like it was a joke and that depression isn't serious. He's told me when he has and hasn't taken his meds and I have been actively trying to keep him occupied and busy so he doesn't have the opportunity to think depressing thoughts.
I really love him and want to be able to show him more and more.
I want to make him mine. I've honestly never cared about anyone as much as I do him.
Any advice is greatly appreciated.
TL;DR: | I like him,he likes me, I'm trying to make him my boyfriend but he refuses to date due to bad experiences with exes. How do I convince him I'm not like the others? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Guy (23) stops talking to me (22) for a few weeks, but doesn't delete me off social media? Is that a sign of still being interested?
POST: New to reddit, not really sure how this works, but I thought I'd share my story.
Being a female that is rather late to the dating game, I feel as if I am completely unable to understand male behaviour.
I started talking to a guy on tinder a few months ago, initially, I was quite wary as I was still thinking about another guy with which things hadn't worked out with. So, tinder guy and I add each other on facebook but I go on holiday for two weeks after doing this.
I told him we'd speak after my return..but due to my preoccupation about the other guy, it ends up being over a month before I contact tinder guy - and I end up doing so thinking 'yeah, why not, he seemed nice'. After that, we talk once a week or so - my hesitance to talk to him starts to disappear and I find I'm actually rather interested.
I found myself initiating most of the conversations, but always recieving a positive response - we'd talk for an entire day. We made plans to grab a drink in the new year, but once in the new year, he tells me he's suddenly become really busy, and that he'd let me know as soon as he could grab a drink.
We talked a couple more times...but in the last three weeks, I've sent him two messages (conversation starters) and he hasn't even opened them.
Not really sure what to think here, because it seemed to me like he was interested? I know that he is most definitley busy - the only social media posts he produces are to do with his work and he seems to be working on big projects. Also he hasn't deleted me off of any social media platform. Can anyone shed light onto what's going on?
TL;DR: | Unsure as to whether or not a guy is still interested, because he does seem like he is genuinely busy, but maybe I'm just completely naive as to male behaviour. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [23F] can't stand my BF's [24 M] parents
POST: My bf and I have been dating for 2 years and are beginning to talk seriously about marriage. I am having a lot of anxiety lately thinking about potentially having to deal with his parents for the rest of my life. I'm afraid that this could be a relationship deal breaker.
Both his mother and father are manipulative, rude, overbearing, obnoxious, loud, and crass. They make me extremely uncomfortable with the way they act in public (loudly swearing in public, making scenes in restaurants) and how they treat me (making rude comments to me, talking about me behind my back, etc.) I have told my boyfriend that they make me uncomfortable and he just apologized, said they are like that to everyone, and I just have to deal with it. But I'm not sure I can (or want) to deal with these people for the rest of my life.
The thought of planning a wedding with them, much less being related to them, makes me sick to my stomach. In addition to being embarrassing and rude, his parents are financially unstable (lower class, only his mother works for minimum wage and they do not have any retirement funds). His family is the polar opposite of mine (upper class). My bf is the only child. I think it is inevitable that his parents will expect to live with us eventually. This is something that I would not be comfortable with at all.
Do you think that unbearable parents can be reason to break an otherwise great relationship? I don't know what to do. If you have any advice or insight please help!
TL;DR: | BF's parents are unbearable. Don't know how to deal with them or if parents are reason enough to break off relationship |
SUBREDDIT: r/running
TITLE: Foot Fracture?
POST: I went for an 9 mile run yesterday, and in the last few miles of my run I started having some pain on the outside of my left foot below the ankle. About an hour after I finished it started hurting a lot more, and today it still hurts pretty bad, possibly worse. It's a little swollen and hurts when I walk.
I have to go out of town for work today and won't return until Friday. I know I will have to do a lot of walking in the airport and around the city, so I won't be able to rest my foot much. I'm icing it now and will try to also ice tonight at my hotel.
From what I read online it sounds like it could be a stress fracture. Has anyone dealt with a stress fracture before? Any recommendations for treatment or suggestions for what else it could be?
TL;DR: | Pain on the outside of my left foot at the end of a long run. Today, swelling lots of sharp pain while walking. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by not pulling over
POST: So this was actually last September, but I thought it's a good story to tell for my first reddit post!
I live on the west coast of Canada, so in my province the legal drinking age is 19. Naturally, on my 19th birthday, my girlfriends and I head out to a classy restaurant with a bar vibe, since some of them were still underage and couldn't go to a bar or club. Anyways, drinking shenanigans obviously ensue. I'm a small (5'2) girl, and was never much of a heavy drinker, so by the 2nd bellini and 2nd shot, I'm good and hammered. We head back to my best girlfriends house to dance, and a huge glass of wine,a shot and a beer are consumed. At this point I'm the most sloshed I've ever been, and throwing up over her deck. My best friends boyfriend hauls me over to the toilet, I actually pee on him while I puke, and they put me to bed.
The morning rolls around, and I have a quiz at school (university) that I'll be damned if I miss, hungover and miserable as I am. I drag my sorry ass out of bed, shower, dress, consume a large glass of water and tylenol, and promptly puke them back up again. I make tea, sip it, and throw up yet again. I'm running late, so I grab a water bottle and head to the car. It's a half hour drive to school, so I fight the waves of nausea while sitting in traffic. I swung by a Tim Hortons drive thru to grab a bagel and more tea, feeling very ill at this point, but I don't want to be late so I keep driving despite the overwhelming nausea. I can feel my diaphragm heaving, and finally pull off into a Home Depot Parking lot, and just before opening my door, spray vomit EVERYWHERE.
Having no other clothes, I then had to clean myself off with a paper napkin, and proceeded to drive to school, and write a quiz in puke-covered jeans. Needless to say no one would sit near me...The smell of vomit lingered in my car for about a month despite a thorough cleaning and air fresheners.
TL;DR: | went over board on the drinking, peed on my friends bf, puked all over self and car, had to go to school covered in vomit. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I think my ex cheated and then left me for someone else, then possibly cheated on his new partner. I want closure.
POST: I hope this post is okay, it's my first time posting here.
First I wanna say, I don't and won't get back with him, the relationship was mentally and emotionally crippling on me.
Anywho, I have very, very strong proof that my ex cheated on me, left me for another girl, and then cheated on his new girlfriend.
So myself (17/MTF) and my ex (19/FTM) were together until about mid December last year. After he left me, I saw his close female friend who I know was really into him, at add him as her boyfriend on Facebook and posted about it on her Instagram. So I confronted him about it, but he said it was just so the girls creepy friend would leave her alone. Before he moved away, we hooked up once, on the thought that we were going to get back together. Throughout the months I've seen posts by her talking about her boyfriend, and tagging him in the posts. Also her getting a promise ring from him, though he denied it and said it was just her obsession with him.
Now fast forward to about two months ago (give or take, I'm awful with time passed). He comes to me after I've emotionally moved on saying he wants to get back together. So we chat a bunch and then drift apart as I realized how much I disliked about him. Meanwhile, during all this, the relationship status stayed the same, and the girl was still posting stuff about him. NOW I go on his Instagram and see that he posted a song with his caption "this song reminds me of my girlfriend, @herusername". Meanwhile, on her Instagram, she posted a picture of what looks like to be flowers and balloons, captioned "my boyfriend sent me this for our five months @myexsusrename". But I guarantee he will deny it again.
So, am I just a gullible idiot, hoping I wasn't actually cheated on. Or is there something that could possibly explain that everything is just a big coincidence?
TL;DR: | i have strong evidence that my ex started dating someone before they even broke up with me, and to this day the evidence keeps getting stronger. Was i cheated on, or am I missing something? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: A close friends mother is seriously ill, should I try talking to him about it, and if yes, how?
POST: So, a close friends mother has gotten diagnosed with cancer quite a while ago. I haven't really talked to him much about it, as he hasn't seemed comfortable talking about it much when I've asked about it, except after a rounds at a bar that is.
He's an awesome and outgoing guy, to the point where he's invited me over for christmas/holidays with his family time and again before due to the lack of a family of my own, but I don't really think he likes talking about emotional things all too much, possibly cause he's so easy going and cool about everything and he wouldn't want anyone to see him in another way.
Either way, he's seemed rather down the last few times I've talked to him, to the point I'm even suspecting something really bad has happened with his mother, but he doesn't feel like talking about.
Should I try asking about this stuff next time we meet, or would it better to just let him do things at his own pace? I just want to be a good friend incase he actually wants someone to ask about and talk about, but I really don't know how to go about this, and perhaps he'd rather talk about it at his own pace.
Feeling slightly dumb for not knowing exactly what to do, seeing as the closest comparison I'd have for us would be J.D. and Turk from Scrubs, but I've no experience with how to deal with these things.
TL;DR: | If a friends mother is dying or even passed away, what's the best way to talk about it, if talking about it should be done at all? |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: How do you deal with unhelpful comments from friends/family
POST: In the past year and a half I've gained about 40-50 pounds, mainly due to getting on hormonal birth control. But I've never been petite or thin, so I didn't really notice for a while. Since I noticed my weight gain, I've been proactive about watching what I eat and exercising several times a week.
I'm 25F, 5'6" and 190lbs. Even though I want to lose some of this weight for health and appearance reasons, I like my body. I like looking in the mirror at myself. I've never had a doctor concerned about my weight, and never had a bad blood test (pressure, cholesterol, etc).
My biggest problem right now is other people. My family and boyfriends have been incredibly critical of my size. My mother sat me down crying and begging me to lose weight because she was convinced I was going to die by age 25. I've had one boyfriend say that I was so fat that I turned him off during sex (he later apologized, but I didn't really enjoy the sex for the remainder of that relationship). The current boyfriend makes little, negative comments about my weight a lot, but says that he's trying to motivate me. None of these comments motivate me, they just make me want to give up and crawl in a hole.
TL;DR: | I happy just chugging along slow and steady at weight loss, but my family and partners keep saying negative things about my weight and it's bringing me down. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Let's imagine you're 45...(philosophical question)
POST: I thought of this questions a few years back and I ask it to everyone. I'm probably not the first to think of it, but oh well.
Let's imagine you're 45, and you have all the things in life of a typical 45 year old.
One day you are given the chance to go back in time to being 5 again, and completely re live your life. But you know everything you know now, and you can obviously use it any way you see fit.
You can finally kiss that boy or girl you should have kissed in 9th grade. You can be a millionaire 8 year old because you invested you allowance in microsoft. You can make better use out of those few years you have with your dad before he passes away. You can finally use that perfect comeback when your boss embarrassed you.
You can live life again exactly the same with the same family, only slightly better. Or you can set yourself up to have a completely different life. it's up to you. You know everything that's coming.
But the catch is, on this day when you're 45 again. You'll die. No way around it.
You still get 85 years of life, you just do them twice.
Would you do it?
TL;DR: | Imagine you are 45, and you get the chance to go back in time and be 5 again knowing everything you know now. But the catch is that you will die when you reach 45 again. Would you do it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How do you tell a 38 year old man he needs to shower? (I'm 26)
POST: My wife's half brother had some housing issues and ended up moving into our spare bedroom about a year and a half ago. I knew he was lazy, but i was unaware of his hygiene habits. After a couple weeks of him living in our house, I started to notice this odd stench coming from his room. I can only describe it as a sour rotting smell. One day I went in his room to find the source of the smell (assuming there was food left in the room) but found nothing. The room just stunk all over. Then I noticed that it seemed 10x stronger when he was home. I started to notice that I never saw him get in the shower (after about 3 months of living there). I thought maybe he showers when me and my wife leave for work. I actually set up a "trap" to see if be showered. Each day I left the house I would put an empty cardboard soap box between the tub wall and shower curtain, so if you opened the curtain, the box would fall. Every day for the next few months, the box never moved. He ended up living here for a full year, and we eventually had to evict him because of the smell. The worst part of it is, he works food service at a very popular nationwide restaurant chain and serves food to people. He has been gone for about 4 months now, but whenever we see him, it smells like death. How do you approach someone who took less than 5 showers in a years time? (He only took showers because his mother refused to buy him groceries/cloths unless he bathed before they went out- and yes I know, 38 and mom still supporting him??)
TL;DR: | 38 year old brother in law does not shower or wash at all and stinks. How do you approach someone about that? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 M] with my Ex [29 F] of 2 years, after 6 months I've finally been able to get rid of her stuff
POST: Well, it didn't work out. I'd been dating her for two years on and off and me as an individual couldn't make her happy.
She broke up with me, texting me that she couldn't honestly be with me because she wasn't in love with me.
The text came while I was at a recurring event and ever since I haven't been able to attend said event without feeling funny. I still feel funny about even thinking about it because it has those feelings of heartbreak attached to it.
Today I finally managed to find most of the stuff she got me as well as the stuff that I planned to give to her and I've donated it to the local hospice.
There was quite a bit of sellable stuff there, but I couldn't even think about profiteering over something that meant a lot to me.
I feel like getting rid of her stuff was quite significant, although that doesn't quite include the bedding her mum gave me early on so I still have that connection there that I don't know what to do about.
Frankly, I don't know how to move forward. I've lost interest in dating but really appreciate spending time with girls. They're realising that I'm still lost, not really knowing where I'm going and I'm not even getting the opportunity to date even if I wanted to.
I'm told I should give it a fair go so I can try get over her, but I'm so uneasy about the fact that 6 months on I still love her, and when I read her personal blog and hear how happy she is with her new partner I feel happy inside.
I know it's pretty messed up, but I don't know really how to move on. Any assistance would be greatly appreciated.
TL;DR: | Girl I dated for 2 years broke up with me via txt, 6 months on I've managed to give away her stuff but I don't know how to move on. Advice plz |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Bay Area Cost of Living Nightmares
POST: Hi PF,
Currently I am a 29 year old Bay Area Native. If you are from this area you know how crazy the housing situation is right now. My lease is about to expire in a month and after a lot of thought and seeing what was out there I have decided to move back in with my parents, who live close by, to save money.
Originally I had planned to continue living on my own (Parental home is very crowded/stressful). However, after seeing what I could afford and what kind of value that brought me I became depressed. I was willing to spend up to $1600/month and in San Francisco that barely got you an in-law unit with no kitchen. I make around 45k/year. My rent is higher than people's MORTGAGE!
I never finished college, but I don't have any student loans or car payments. The only debt I have is from a couple hundred that accrues on my Miles Credit Card, which I pay off every month. I was able to save up about 5k for my emergency fund and just recently started investing about $200 a month into a 5% matching 401K.
-------------
Now the real question:
I plan on saving EVERYTHING (25-30K+) I can for the next few years to try to purchase a home in the bay area. I've concluded that for a 20% down on a 900k home, I would have to save almost 200k, which would take roughly 5-6 years, probably 7.
I know i shouldn't just leave all that money in my checking account, but I dont know what to put my money into. I've looked at CDs and unless you invest 50K+ the return doesn't seem that great. Which investments should I look into to maximize my goals?
I can't say that my social life won't take a big hit, unless you know someone who is into guys that live with their moms?
It would be great if someone who was in a previous situation could share their experience (to validate my decision), or could let me know what kind of investments I should look into.
Thank you for taking your time to read my post.
=======================
TL;DR: | 29 years old. Moving back to parents. 45k a year. How do i maximize saving money to purchase a house in bay area. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Should I (20f) break up with my (21m) boyfriend?
POST: Please excuse my poor grammar and bad writing.
My boyfriend I have been together for 2 years. We live together and I work for his mom, so we're pretty serious. Things between us were very nice at first but after a year we decided to break it off and just be friends.. When we broke up I thought we were done, for good so I made out with a guy that was always flirty with me (rebound), I smoked weed, and just hung out with friends.
About a month or two later he begs me to move back in and start all over, I agree. I told him about how I kissed another guy because he asked and I did not want to lie and I told him about how I smoked pot and all of that stuff. He (to this day) says I cheated on him and I felt awful, but I thought he and I were done!
Well anyway, he took my phone and doesn't let me talk to my old friends any more. We haven't had a physical fight in months but we used to everyday. I am so unhappy and I resent the fact that he won't give me my phone or let me talk to my old friends (who are female!) I have also recently developed feelings for someone else, I want to leave him but he never lets me go. He either physically restrains me so I can't leave, or he manipulates my feelings to make me second guess myself.
reddit please, please give me advice!
TL;DR: | I'm in a possesive and unhappy relationship. Started developing feelings for some one else, don't know what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Atheists! What gets you out of bed? What moves you deeply?!
POST: I was raised with no religious framework, given the example to revere the arts—especially music—to view humans as essentially good and taught to respect logic and reason above all other forms of "knowing". I had a "happy" childhood filled with wonder, physical safety and the typical disappointments.
My struggle has been with low level depression. I function in the world, experience joys and pleasure AND at many times in my life have had to contend with a deep sense of emptiness.
There are many causes of and aspects to feeling this way. But what I want to bring up here is how logic, reason and science have not lived up to the promises they made to my formative self. An argument can be made that a worldview based purely on "reason" contributes strongly to the materialism, greed and cynicism of modern life. We are left out in the cold, separate from the world, convinced we're much, much wiser than our ancestors and convinced our thoughts are more true than the earth we stand on.
But I have known wonder and mystery and some years ago I realized I wanted that back. My paths there have been largely through the body; vipassana meditation, yoga, dance, music, massage and being in nature cover some of the bases. To be honest, I'd have to include experiences with various psycho-active substances to have also played a role here, oh! and the ever present call of the wild that sexuality keeps us tethered to (though, at forty-six I feel this shifting; maybe more towards... love?).
Paradoxically experiences I've had as a result of various practices have been so beautiful and profound that I've come to respect the religious impulse. I interpret my subjective experience very differently from a theist, but I often feel like I have more in common with them than I do with someone who's made Reason their governing principle.
TL;DR: | The cultivation of felt experience and the allowing for not knowing has enabled me to find a more deeply lived/loved life. I wonder if any of this resonates with Redditors... |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Should I [18F] respond to my former best friend's [19F] email?
POST: My former best friend (we had been good friends for about 2 years) [19F] emailed me [18F] this morning saying that I crossed her mind and that she wanted to know how I was doing. We have not spoken since the end of May because we had a huge fight. She was responsible for breaking my ex-boyfriend and I up, and then she decided to take him to the prom last year without telling me. She has done many other things like this, and is kind of a compulsive liar. I kept quiet for a long time, but last May I finally decided to stand up for myself, hence the end of the friendship. We ended on bad terms (something I don't ordinarily like to do), and I do not know whether or not to respond. In all honesty, I had no intention of ever speaking to this girl again, but some of my friends believe I should respond so that we can be on good terms with each other. What does reddit think I should do?
TL;DR: | Former best friend emailed me after not talking for several months. This girl has caused problems for me in the past, but friends say we should reconcile so we can be on good terms. What to do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Sometimes I [25F] feel tested by my boyfriend [27F] and I need advice on how to stop feeling this way, because it bothers me.
POST: I am 25 and my SO is 27. We have been together for 5 years. Our relationship is very happy, and we both have expressed interest in getting married and having kids one day. Also, we live together and we both have stable careers. We've lived together for 2 years.
To me, the next logical step is to get married. I want to have kids in a few years, but I also want to be married before that happens, preferably for a few years. My boyfriend expresses the same desire.
But... often I irrationally feel like he is "testing" me. It's weird, because if he was just outright uncomfortable with the idea of marriage, I would like for him to be honest with me so we can figure it out and maybe compromise.
When I brought up the marriage talk, (we have talked about marriage a LOT, I mean *the* serious marriage talk), he said that he wasn't planning to propose within the next year. I asked why, and he pulled out the "why would you buy a car without testing it first?" line.
This kind of gutted me, because really, what else is there to test? I would definitely understand "testing" in a younger relationship - that's what the beginning is about, to see if you're compatible. But 5 years of happiness is a different story... We live together, have a great relationship, and are stable. Let me repeat that if he didn't want marriage yet, I would be fine with that. I'm not demanding he marry me, I'm totally open to compromise. I just don't like the fact that he thinks of our 5 year relationship still in the "testing" stage.
So now whenever we have sex, walk past a jewelry store, get into an argument, etc... I always think "what if I never meet his standards? When will I know?" and it hurts.
I know I'm being crazy, but I just need help on how to get over this.
TL;DR: | Sometimes I feel like I need to meet certain standards in my relationship in order to move forward. Need advice on how to stop feeling this way. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How can i [20F] deal with my [50m] father with his mental issues that he refuses help for?
POST: My father has some serious and obvious mental health issues that he needs help for. I personally believe that he has bipolar disorder or a paranoid personality disorder, but I'm no doctor. He has really good days, where he is a normal person with good behavior, and really bad days where he will criticize me for anything and everything and yell at and talk down to waiters or store staff over really menial things and make extremely racist comments and call entire groups of people stupid or other negative things...
It's gotten worse in recent years and he has pretty much isolated himself from his friends and family by acting the way he does. It humiliates me when he erupts in the middle of somewhere we go and he believes that "most people are self serving" and that without acting that way, you are a doormat essentially. I've told him that treating people that way is unacceptable but he refuses to listen, and when I (as well as many many other family members) have suggested therapy, he vehemently refuses.
He does not see anything wrong with his behavior and doesn't understand why people don't like him or invite him to things... I do not like going into public places with him or having him meet any of my friends or have anything to do with people and places that I value because I know he will do something to humiliate me like insult one of my friends or cause a scene in my favorite restaurant.
I have considered cutting him completely out of my life but I'm really the only person he has left. He has been to therapy before for family reasons like marriage counseling when he and my mom were married and as part of the custody agreement, we had family counseling when I was a child. He quickly stopped attending both. I don't know how to get through to him that he needs help without him shutting down and ignoring me.
TL;DR: | Father has undiagnosed mental issues that have caused everyone around him to leave. He needs help but refuses to listen. How can I get through to him? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: [Amway] What are some irrefutable fact-based arguments against joining Amway? (more details inside)
POST: One of my friends got into Amway a few months ago and has since been recruiting many of my other friends. I don't want to see any of them waste their time and money or their future(they're in college). Every time I confront them about it, they fall back to "No no, they explain from the very beginning how it's not a pyramid scheme and how you can actually make money by being your own boss. You see, you get points...blah...blah...balh...and if you give it a chance then you'll see what I'm talking about."
I'm trying to put together a comprehensive list of arguments to convince them that it is going to be bad for them in the long run.
Things I want to avoid:
1. Generic (unsubstantiated) arguments :
("its clearly a pyramid scheme!", "you're being scammed!", "it's a cult!")
2. Personal experiences :
(If I tell him I know someone who "got into Amway and got fucked over bad", then he will just tell me that they try hard enough. Also, there are plenty of other threads with these)
What I need :
1. Logic
2. Clear and thorough explanations
3. Evidence that is accessible to the public
TL;DR: | My friends got involved involved with the Amway scheme and I'm trying to use rational thought and evidence to convince them that it's a bad idea. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, what would be a good major for a mathematically challenged person?
POST: I'm a college sophomore. My whole life Math has been my problem subject, and I've struggled with it. My favorite subject is probably history, but I want to major in sometime practical and well-paying. I'm thinking about business. At my college I'm struggling through the math pre-reqs needed to get into business school right now, even though they aren't really high level classes at all. I may not be able to get in anytime in the near future. That leaves me with some choices.
1) Major in economics. Economics here isn't considered in the school of business, you do not have to be admitted into the school of business to major in it. Despite having math/algebra troubles I've always liked statistical analysis, and making guesses on future numbers based on data (like sports stats). One problem i think though would be that fact that this is such a broad major, it's not really specialized like majors like finance, accounting, etc.
2) Both my parents are in medicine, and I've always had a decent interest in healthcare too. Getting into med school is probably a pipe dream at this point, and I'd like a career that merged healthcare/business. My school offers a Health Information Management major that I'm investigating right now, but that might be a pretty competitive major.
TL;DR: | Always had lots of difficulty with math. What would be a smart thing to major in. Considering Economics, Health Information Management |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Boyfriend (21M) lied to me (18F) and I got real upset. Need to know if I am over-reacting.
POST: My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little longer than a year. We're both in the same university, where I am in the First Year and he is in the Fifth Year (we go to architecture school in India).
Recently, when we were getting drunk together with a bunch of other friends, he admitted to the whole group that he didn't turn in a mandatory term paper, and somehow got away with it by lying (how exactly he did it is a long story, and quite unnecessary here).
I am upset because I used to discuss that paper of his a lot a couple of months ago, and he would always give me positive responses like "I am working really hard on it" and "I'm almost done", etc. I was also with him when he found out what grade he got on that course, and we high-fived each other and everything because he had scored a good grade.
Later, after we were done hanging out with the group, I mentioned to him that I was upset about him having lied to me the whole time about his paper. He said that he often lies to "protect" people he loves.
I let it go that night, but the more I thought about it, the more upset I got. Yesterday, I made him meet me, and just bawled my eyes out. He promised that he won't lie to me again. But I still feel absolutely hurt and betrayed.
First, I'm sad that he would pull off a scam like that for a course- he feels like a different person to me now. Second, I can't believe he justified his lying to me- his original stance was that I need to be protected from the things he does! Thing is, he's always been protective and almost paternal towards me (mostly because he's 3 years my senior in college), but I think lying is taking it to another, wholly unacceptable level.
We're fine now, but I'm still hurting, and I am wondering if I am over-reacting. Should I take his promise and be trusting again? Am I being a bad girlfriend by being too hard on him?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend lied to me about something grades-related, tells me that he often lies to protect me. He said he won't lie any more, but I'm still extremely upset. Is that acceptable? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [19/F] mother [60/F] clearly has signs of mental illness, and my father [61/M] has given up on getting her help.
POST: Mental illness runs in my mother's family: her eldest sister is bipolar and her second sister has depression. My mother has always been slightly off, but it's gotten really noticeable as she's gotten older.
She obsessives over things (cleaning the house, gardening, etc.), explodes in anger with very like provoking, constantly repeats herself and doesn't remember that she already said it, and can be extremely verbally aggressive. She gets herself so angry that I worry she's going to stroke out-- it's this horrible blind rage that she easily hits twice a month.
If she can draw a comparison between something someone else said and her own life (for example, her year holidaying Mexico versus my study abroad in China), she will assume your experience was exactly like hers and never stop talking about it. She doesn't sleep very well, and often yells/kicks/etc. in her sleep. I also think she's a bit forgetful, but she's been like that since I was a kid.
Anyways, my father and I both agree she's not normal. However, I think he should be encouraging her to see a psychologist or something. His logic is because the first one didn't work, and she won't stick to anything regarding mental health because she doesn't see she has a problem, it's best to give up. I can't blame him, because whilst I'm away at university, he has to deal with her directly every day which must be really tiring.
Since I'm away at university, are my hands truly tied? My mother and I are fairly close, and I'm wondering if there's anything I can do.
TL;DR: | My mom [60/F] probably has some form of mental illness. My dad has given up on it, but even though I'm away at university, I want to get her some help. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What would be the consequences of legalizing the possession and SHARING, not transactions, of child pornography?
POST: So a little while back, I was thinking about hilarious/impossible ways SOPA, etc. could come down... and figured, what if they were openly supported by CP rings?
Obviously CP is a dangerous material in so many reasons. But isn't the biggest issue with it (IANAEthicsMajor) the actual exploitation of children abused to create the materials?
A single pedophile could, as seen in the past, um, create his own materials. But isn't the foremost problem, as is the case with most contrabands, gang related? As I understand it, the reason CP maintains such a presence is not because everyone on the internet is closet pedo and there is a huge demand for it, but because these organizations are making a profit out of the few that are willing to pay ridiculous amounts of money for it.
There are already too many resources out there. Everyone to his own, but as long as there are no victims. Let them look through the plethora of the materials already online. If sharing and possession becomes legal, it would only be so much easier to acquire the materials for them. From this point on, the CP organizations won't have a market (theoretical, theoretical) to sell their goods any longer, and will eventually have to find different niche to fill. OR... they will openly support SOPA to stop their "IP" from being pirated. Then bring out the "A vote for SOPA is a vote for CP" card.
I am aware there are SO many things wrong with this. I just wanted to see where this would lead. IS there any value to this? Is there a way to carry this on without, well, being an immoral, idiotic bastard? Again, I know nothing about the industry nor the complications it brings...
TL;DR: | create anarchy in CP market by introducing free-for-all-buffet. Also, I'm a terrible person. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me (26) looking to start dating again...
POST: I've taken a long hiatus from dating while in college because I was too focused on not failing and succeeding to really put much energy into anything else...I sound like a massive nerd I know...In college there was interest in me but ever since I graduated the interest just doesn't seem there anymore. I asked one girl on a date and she flat out said no, then me and this other girl started hanging out, then asked her on a date, and she said yes....but then got back together with her ex bf...so its been a crappy roller coaster for me so far.
I also dont know where to meet girls now..or how to really break the ice...
I also have friends who are basically sharks and do whatever they can do get the girl..and Im just kinda left standing there like an idiot...
How can I conquer these issues and whats the best way?
TL;DR: | Havent dont a lot of dating because of college; Confidence isnt where it should be so cant break the ice. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: My Mom has blown 2 discs in her back; great pain and furious depression have taken over. What now?
POST: I've seen some great things occur on these pages and now am hoping perhaps some pearls of wisdom and guidance can come my way.
I'll try to be brief and point-form-like:
Big Issues:
----------------
* Divorced a few years ago = great depression, tons of pills
* 2 bulged discs in her spine (L3 and L5) a year and two months ago
Results of Big Issues:
--------------------------
* numb legs/feet, hard to walk/maintain balance, huuuuge amounts of pain and equal amounts of pain medication
* not a candidate for surgery, it actually looks like it's healed doc's say
* has taken lots of time off work for both issues already
* sole breadwinner of household, cannot afford more days off work
* I'm out of town and can only help out on weekends leaving my sis there daily to help/be scarred by such agony that her mother is going through
My Questions
-----------------
Can anyone provide some positive advice on how she can deal with her intolerable pain? She's a strong woman--I've seen her go through things these past few years that would break other's wills, and yet she holds on---but I'm scared she's going to give up the fight.
It is the debilitating pain that worries me, it's been a year and she's no better. It's next to impossible for her to get up and go to work everyday, yet she does it.
I'm worried it will get to be too much (she says it is already) and she'll stop going to work and caring---she's already barely eating, which clearly can't be good.
TL;DR: | Moms in lots of pain (mental/physical), taking lots of pills. Please give us hope that things will get better! |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What embarrassing thing have you done when you thought you were alone - but then realized you weren't?
POST: I get to class about 45 minutes early so I can play some Mass Effect 3. When I get here, the projector was used during the class before this one, so the lights are off and it's pretty dark in the room. I sit down, pull out my laptop, plug in my headphones and suddenly realize the inside of my asshole itches like crazy. So, assuming that I'm alone, I slowly reach my hand down the back of my pants, and dig in my ass like it was full of shimmering shards of brown emeralds to the soundtrack of funky hip-hop music in my ears.
I gently take my finger out of my ass, and get an idea. What does it smell like? I start sniffing my finger for at least 5 seconds, and then proceed to wipe the stinky discharge on the bottom of the desk. I then took my earbuds out because my ears were feeling uncomfortable when to my horror, I realize the professor walked in the class and was sitting at his desk, staring directly at me. He must have came in quietly, and my blasting music prohibited me from hearing him. I was too busy diggin' and sniffin' to notice he walked in on the far side of the door.
Now I'm sitting here typing this, in complete and awkward silence, as he sits at his desk, a mere few feet away from me. I want to die.
TL;DR: | Thought I was alone in class, so I itched my asshole and sniffed my finger. My professor was at his desk and watched the entire thing. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [23M] had a pleasantly clean break up with her [20 F], but I still feel anxiety, depression, jealousy, etc.
POST: Not a throwaway account. Don't even care if she reads it. Nothing's here that she doesn't already know.
We've been dating for over a year and recently had a break up. We both knew it was coming due to a handful of incompatibilities mostly related to incomparable sex drives. We had just seen each other for two weeks during a winter break. The next day we broke up over a Skype text chat.
The next week she had casual sex with her friend. I don't like him. I fucking *lothe* him. While I was overseas for an internship, he tried to coerce her into cheating on me. He's fucking her now. And even though I know that the relationship simply ran its course and he was simply available at the moment, it feels like she left me to fuck him. At first I didn't care, but it's been eating at me slowly. This is the first time I have ever experienced jealousy.
Other than that, I have a feeling of emptiness. Some people do better on their own, but I need companionship- I always have. They help me grow and become a better person. They give me desire to work and give purpose to leisure. Without them, I feel stagnant. I hate that feeling. It makes me feel empty.
The only solution I can imagine to soothe this is to start dating again, but I'm afraid I'll fall into a typical 'lonely guy' trap of dating the first person to flirt with me instead of someone I actually want out of fear of rejection. I fear that if I wait it out too long, this last semester of college will be over and I'll have no one.
TL;DR: | The break up was nice, but the aftermath has caused intense jealousy and lonely depression/anxiety. How do I release all this stress in a healthy way? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: He [19M] broke up with me [19F]. duration 6 months
POST: Okay, so I had been dating this guy for a little over 6 months, and I thought everything was going fine. There were arguments here and there, but nothing that didn't get resolved in the next few days. We spent **A LOT** of time together, 5-6 days a week, but there were conflicts with this. (We're both in college and live in the same dorm, and same floor..was a blessing, but now it's a burden.)
2 weeks ago on Wednesday, (4/9) he had asked me to move in with him next semester. I was skeptical because we really hadn't been together that long, but overall happy. I still told him I needed time to think about this. So on Friday, we talked on and off, but that Saturday,(4/12) is when everything went down.
He came into my room and I told him that I was thinking about this and I said no to moving in with him. Then he proceeded to agree, and after a few awkward minutes he pulled me into a hug, and then broke up with me. I was stunned at first, but eventually talked to him about it. Even over the course of those upcoming days we still had talked about it.
I just don't know what to do. There are more details to this, but I don't want to bore you. I need closure, but I know he is getting aggravated I keep wanting to talk about this. We both need space, but it's hard when we share the same circle of friends, except I am the one being ostracized from the group.
So basically, while he is moving on hanging out with our mutual friends, I am the one stuck without anyone to talk to.
TL;DR: | My boyfriend of 6 months asked me to move in with him, and then broke up with me 3 days late. I am hurt and confused. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (23F) don't know how to deal with normal couple things like conflict resolution with my (21M) boyfriend.
POST: I'm with a great guy and we've been together about a year. I haven't been this happy with someone in a very long time. We gel.
But he.. does things. He might say something painfully insensitive, or leave his underwear on the floor in the bathroom, or spit nasty loogies (is there even a correct spelling for this?) in my sink.
I'm fairly passive and don't like conflict by nature, so I when I feel myself boiling over, I retreat and then bring it up jokingly days later when I've relaxed in a "oh ha remember that one time when I was pissed the f off at ____?.. oh you didn't know?" kind of way.
Those days inbetween are killer though, because I'm a nightmare where I'm mad but I won't say why. Mostly because I just don't have the language to express it.
TL;DR: | Where is the line between expressing needs and nagging? How do you say "Hey that hurt my feelings?" or "You do this really annoying thing" without ... sounding like you're bitching? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [18/m] My friend [17/f] told me she had a crush on me a month ago.
POST: On Sunday I went for a coffee with my friend [17/f], who I know for about 4 months. I must admit I always had a crush on her but I was happy about great friendship we had, so I did act as a friend.
We had a great time and also ran into some of her friends. After the coffee, she wrote me a message on facebook saying that one of the friends we met was a bit interested in me. As I said, I have a crush on her, so I responded that I'm not really good at blind dating.
That led into very weird conversation, she said I was good-looking, funny, kind, ... I'm not really used to compliments so I awkwardly insisted on the opposite. She complained about my self-confidence. Then I complained her friend rejected me a month ago... And she responded this: - "I was the main problem in there. It was not your fault and I don't know if you understood the message I sent you. I wasn't sure if I wanted to be just friends with you that time."
About "the message" - she actually sent me a moving message about her and me but I didn't get it (oh how dumb I was!)
I panicked, said some really pathetic and silly stuff (like "Other me in another universe is now dating the best girl in the world") and the day after it was a bit awkward talking to her. (She acted like nothing happened)
So, that was 3 days ago. Now talking to her is much less awkward so everything is getting better. The problem is that my crush on her got much bigger. Now when I know my chance slipped through my fingers, I imagine how great would dating her be. So do you think there is a chance to date her after all? What should I do now?
Thank you for your help!
TL;DR: | Friend told me she liked me a month ago, now I want to date her but everything got a bit awkward becouse of that conversation. Do I have a chance? |
SUBREDDIT: r/cats
TITLE: Has anyone seen this before?
POST: So a little over a week ago my oldest cat, a female Calico named Coco was sitting on my lap. Suddenly I noticed her head start twitching, almost like a person with Parkinson's shakes, (my hair dresser has parkinson's so i am familiar with the tremors). She didn't seem distressed by it, and continued purring and was acting normal aside from the shakes. It only lasted a minute and I haven't seen her do it again since.
A brief medical history, this cat is allergic to everything under the sun: grass, trees, dogs, lamb, fleas, we had one of them allergy tests done. She got encephalitis a few years ago when our basement flooded, she broke her tail a few years ago in a mystery accident we still haven't solved, she gets frequent colds due to her allergies and also has a habit of chewing off her fur because of her allergies (but she has been really good about that lately). She is also only allowed outside with one of us watching her and never leaves the deck.
We have spent literally thousands of dollars on this cat and her medical problems since we got her 8 years ago, and she is 10 now. She is the best cat I have ever had and me and my family love her to pieces, but my parent's are getting drained at this point. I try to help as much as I can but since I am taking one of the other cats when I move out I pay for all his vet bills, and I only make $11 an hour at my crappy job :/
She is pretty much my best friend and the only reason I'm not taking her is because I know I wouldn't be able to afford it. I'm not looking for a clear answer, I just want to know if anyone else's cat has ever had a problem like this. My first thought was since she had a cold at the time (which we were medicating), maybe her equilibrium was just off, she was pretty congested. If anyone has experienced this with their cat before please let me know, it would at least possibly give us a place to start looking. She seems fine now and has been in a really good mood for the last few days :)
TL;DR: | My cat had the shakes 1 time last week in her head. She had a cold but I'm not sure that was related at all. Any ideas? |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: Hiring Manager in need of quick advice
POST: Sorry for the length, this situation requires a bit of background. Thanks for reading.
One of my staff members (I'll call her Jessica) recently took a position in another department within the company. I immediately began searching for her replacement, and found two excellent candidates. Prior to interviewing either candidate, another member of my staff gave me three-weeks' notice because she decided to move out of state.
I had two openings and two great candidates (I'll call them Joanna and Chelsea) - the two open positions are similar enough that one of the candidates may fit into the newly open role. I proceed with interviewing both candidates, and offer each of them a position on my staff as of yesterday. I offered Joanna the first position (lower-paying and a step down), and Chelsea the second position (higher-paying and a step above the first position).
As of this morning, Jessica, who left my department, has realized she does not enjoy her new role and wants to come back and reprise her old position. She knows the job inside and out and is a company asset. If I hadn't offered the position to another candidate, I would gladly welcome her back. But I have already made offers and both candidates accepted.
I met with two execs at the company today to try and find a solution. The execs don't want to lose Jessica as an employee and want to giver her what she wants - her old job back. They want me to call Joanna and tell her that we can't hire her after all, and call Chelsea and offer her the first position instead of the second (which was Jessica's).
I can offer Chelsea the first position at the pay rate of the second position, which puts me in a little bit better of a place. But I just don't feel right about all of this - I feel like Jessica made a mistake and she should deal with it instead of dragging me into this. I will look foolish and make the company look bad to the new candidates for changing my mind, but if I decide not to give Jessica her job back, it will be frowned on by the execs (my bosses) and Jessica will probably leave the company - which will be blamed on me.
What the hell would you do in this situation?
TL;DR: | Hired two new employees for two open positions yesterday. Old employee wants her job back for one of the open positions. Not sure whether to oblige her and bosses, or to move forward with new hires and lose great employee. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Today I [22m] told my girlfriend [19f] of 3.5 months, that I danced with another girl 3.5 months ago
POST: I asked my girlfriend out like 3.5 months ago and a couple days later I danced with a couple girls. For whatever reason, it was really bugging me this past weekend that I never told her about this.
After the incident happened we had talked about how we felt about each other dancing with the opposite sex and agreed that neither of us would like it but can't control each other's decisions and that we trust each other to make the right choice.
After asking a couple of friends advice they recommended I say nothing about it, but it was eating away at me and I told her. I know it sounds like nothing really but it was just bugging me.
After I told her she got pretty upset. I said that it was totally my fault and am responsible and it won't happen again. I'm not that type of guy to do these type of things and I just hated seeing her hurt. She told me that she had even called her mom because it was bugging her. Eventually she said it was fine, she appreciates me telling her, and asked me 'how does she know it won't happen again.'
Right now, we are both on the same page and care a lot about each other. I guess what I'm asking is what can I do to make it up to her? I was thinking of taking her out to dinner. Should I write her a card saying I'm sorry? I just want to show her I care about her deeply even though I haven't been the best bf as of late.
TL;DR: | Told my gf I danced with another girl 3.5 months ago, she got upset but we are ok now. How do I make it up to her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/BreakUps
TITLE: Broke up (former bf20, me:f, 21) about three months ago: How do I make our complicated relationship not complicated?
POST: So basically after breaking up we were still close, it wasn't helping either of us. So I decided to have no contact with him for a couple weeks probably a month or longer. Recently we've been talking more often. I felt that he was okay with the break up when we first got out of our relationship, but I was crushed (it was mutual). It took me some time to recover and not be so sad anymore. So, during this time I began to do things that I hadn't done before. I also slept with a guy. I feel a bit guilty now that we talk a bit more since I haven't told him. And to be honest I feel that I have moved on a bit more than he has since he still makes attempts of spending time together as if we are together. I am not sure how to approach this. I have no clue what he has done while we haven't been together. Part of me feels really guilty but at the same time I can see that there really can't be any relationship formed at this point. I feel bad distancing myself from him because I enjoy hanging out with him. I need some help. I don't want to say goodbye because I still care for him, but I feel like it's holding both of us from entirely moving on.
TL;DR: | I would like to know what is the best way to say goodbye without it being so emotionally draining. Should I tell my former bf the truth about what I've done while we haven't been together? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19F] with my SO [18 M]. I broke up with him for reasons I'm now doubting. Did I make the right decision?
POST: So, a week ago i broke up with my boyfriend of almost 2 years. I ended the relationship well-knowing that i still love and care for him deeply, but something just didn't feel right.
We moved to the same university in a different town together in September. We dated in highschool and everything was amazing, but a few weeks of being in university together shifted the relationship.
Before breaking up with him this time, i had broken up with him a week before but we realized we hadn't actually tried to solve any issues. So we tried again, but didn't actually "try", if that makes sense.
The exact reason why i ended it is hard to pinpoint, but I just know that it had been on my mind for several weeks before the first breakup. Both times the breakup happened for the same reason. I feel like the changes from HS to uni have really affected me and subsequently our relationship.
When someone asks why we broke up I say "a relationship is just not what we need right now", especially because I'm the type of person to put others before myself, and university is not the time to do that, but theres still a part of me saying we should've tried to fix it before breaking up. I feel guilty for not trying.
another thing about our relationship in particular, is that i *wish* we could be a few years older. I really feel like I have a special relationship with him, but the timing couldn't be worse (with school and all that..)
I thought breaking up would be the answer but ever since I've been a complete mess. I haven't been able to get anything done and im starting to wonder if I made the right decision?
All I know is that im hurting way more than I thought I should be and the only thing I can think about is how much he's hurting and how much it upsets me.
Thanks in advance
TL;DR: | im wondering how much is too much hurt to experience after breaking up with someone, and how do you know it was the right decision? Is there a possibility that I made a mistake? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by wanting to take a selfie.
POST: So I went to the Insurgent premiere earlier today, and I was looking forward to it. My friends thought it would be cool to use my GoPro as a selfie stick as we always take pics when the movie is over. I agreed to that because I thought it would be cool.
Why did I think that?
Anyways about half way into the movie my gopro decided to turn on. If you own one you know it makes a loud "Beep beep beep" sound. People heard this as it was a packed theatre.
Fast forward to the end of the movie, one of the staff members took me out telling me about there being $100,000 fine for recording the movie because they thought I was recording it, even though I brought it just for a selfie. It scared the shit out of me. Gladly I was able to show them on my sd card that there was no recordings of the movie.
Just to clarify, I did not record it and was not thinking of doing it.
TL;DR: | Brought my GoPro to take a selfie at the movie theatre, almost got a $100,000 fine because they thought I was recording a movie. |
SUBREDDIT: r/needadvice
TITLE: How best to ask roommates for a specific bedroom in a new living arrangement?
POST: Entering my senior year of college and I just got out of a living arrangement from hell. I'm moving in with another girl (Rebecca) who has two empty bedrooms in a three bedroom condo. We have been talking about being roommates for 2 months and just found our 3rd roommate (Macy) last week. None of us knew each other prior to deciding to become roommates.
Macy is now seeming pushy and originally asked for the back bedroom with its own bathroom, but Rebecca, who has lived in this condo for a year, is moving into that room. This leaves the other 2 bedrooms sharing a bathroom.
One bedroom is decidedly larger than the other and Macy has now "staked claim" on it under the pretenses that she wants to move in ASAP and since that room will be empty first, she wants it (this is a lie...she told us last week she can move in whenever.)
I am the LEAST picky person in the world, but I am moving from a 3 bedroom apartment where I occupied 2 of the 3 bedrooms (I'm a freelance makeup artist and used the other bedroom as a studio.) There is no way in hell that all of my furniture/supplies will fit into the smaller bedroom, but I don't want to seem rude by saying I need the bigger room. How can I best go about asking for the larger of the 2 rooms?
TL;DR: | Moving into a new living arrangement, wanting to know the best way to ask for the larger of the two remaining bedrooms. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: my mom is STILL spying on me
POST: When I first started using the Internet socially as a teenager, my mom used to read all my conversations in secret. Eventually, she even confronted me when she found inappropriate things for my age and blocked some of my accounts for a while. But the reading conversations thing didn't stop until a few years later. This of course, did not stop me and instead just made me better at hiding things. I'm in uni now but still staying at her house, and even though she seems to not spy on me anymore she still knows what's happening with my private life all the time.
A few years back just a day after l lost my virginity she confronted me about it, even though l made sure that my accounts are properly secured from wrath. Just today, when came back from an hotel stay which she could have no knowledge of, she asked me if I was going to hotels with my boyfriend.
I might be getting paranoid but I don't enjoy her meddling with my private stuff. I've checked our shared computer and there seems to be no key logger. All my accounts are phone verified and I always try to arrange private stuff on my phone, which I doubt she could monitor. When I ask how she found out about it, if I admit to it, she says it was just bait.
TL;DR: | I'm an adult and my mom might still be spying on me. How might she be doing it and how can l stop it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [17 M] with my GF[18 F] of 6 months are fighting over the way we communicate, which led to a big fight last night and I need advice.
POST: Last night I brought up a concern to my girlfriend that I have been having for a long time now. Im a senior in high school and she is a freshman in college who lives at home still. So she knows what senior year is like, but I still have no idea. As this is still brand new to me.
Sometimes when I go over to her house, I will tell her about my day and things that have happened to me or that are going to happen that I start getting excited over. It's really hard for me to get over zealous about things so it is very personal when I come to with things like that. All I will get from her is a smirk or a funny look, while she practically ignores me and moves on to something else. The same thing happens when I text her. I will get a "Cool." or an "Awesome babe." When she tells me something and im all over it, I ask her questions and I am genuinely interested in what is making her excited and I try and find out more.
Last night I voiced my concern to her and all she said was, "sorry." I told her how it made me feel and that it is making me anxious to go to her with things that are exciting to me and problems that I have and that I am bottling them up when I should be sharing. All I asked her was to pay a little more attention to what I say and I try and be more interested in things that make me excited just like her.
Did I over react or push her too much in telling her that? I feel like it was right of me to voice my concern to her and for her to shrug me off, it felt a little childish.
TL;DR: | I asked my girlfriend to take a little more interest in things that make me excited. She gets super offended and we have a big fight, need help on what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: boyfriend is planning to break up with me....a year from now
POST: He and I have been together for 2 years, we moved in together 6 months ago. It's my house, and I support us financially as he is looking for a job. We're both 20.
I know his plan because he left his computer diary open and I was going to check my email while he was in the shower. I saw my name in the wall of text, so I read a few lines, but then I heard him coming and I didn't want him to know I saw it so I left the room. The parts I read said that he loved me, he feels bad about his plan, but he wants to leave me when I go on a 4-month-long business trip because because he wants to have relationships with other people that he hasn't met yet. As a side note, when he moved in with me, he moved 5 hours from his hometown, where he had 2 friends. One of whom has fallen off the radar completely since the move. He hasn't made any new friends since he's been here, and hasn't found a job yet. Now I feel like he's just using me to move away from home and his parents and still have someone take care of him so he doesn't have to grow up all the way yet.
I'm in shock over the whole thing. He tells me all the time that he loves me and wants to be with me for years to come, and that he wouldn't know what he'd do without me. He says he doesn't even like to think about it. The day after I saw his plan, we went out to dinner and he asked me what my 5 year plan was. I said it was to be doing what I love to do, with him, happy, financially stable, blah blah blah. And he said he'd like to be with me too, doing those same things.
I don't understand.
Reddit, what should I do? I do love him, but I don't want to invest any more emotions and money into this relationship if he's already made up his mind to leave me once he is on his feet. I want to make it work. But I don't know if I am in a position to think clearly about all this.
TL;DR: | mutually loving relationship, bf has made solid plans to leave me in a year to try new things. has given no indication of unhappiness or discontent in relationship. |
SUBREDDIT: r/askwomenadvice
TITLE: What makes a woman behave like this?
POST: A month ago I have been on holidays with a girl from another country that I met online. She was alone and she was looking for somebody to spend her holidays with. Everything was great and she told me many times she was really enjoying the trip and that by travelling with a local(me) she enjoyed more her holiday. We have 10 years of difference and nothing happened but she asked some "weird" questions during the holiday like "Have you ever considered marrying a woman from my country?", "What kind of cars do you have?", something like "are you rich" and we joked a lot with each other and she also said "If you ever become rich don't forget about me". Now she may look like a gold digger but I would say she isn't. What surprised me about her is that she has been very nice and talkative during the holidays and I could really feel she was enjoying the trip but now she almost never text me. Actually the first 4-5 days after the holiday she wrote me everyday but it seemed like she wasn't really interested in the conversation but she was kind as always. Now a month later if I want to hear from her I must write her otherwise I feel like she will not write me, but she is always super nice in her texts. About her personality she looks very strong from the outside but I am pretty sure she has some insecurities inside maybe because she is not married yet and she really want to have children. So what makes a woman behave like this? Could it be that she doesn't text me because of the age difference or because she may feel a little bit insecure about it like she is disturbing me?
TL;DR: | Been on holidays with a girl, she acted very nice and kind during the holiday but now she never texts me in the first place |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20/F] Want to get in contact with my half-brother [?/M], but my parents [72/m, 52/f] keep dancing around the subject
POST: My brother and I are the third generation of my father's, first of my mothers. He's had three wives, and still with my mother. We've got a sketchy past with the second generation who are in their 40s, I'm assuming (two daughters). One of them I know for sure is completely awful, twisted and manipulative, but I've not talked to the other much at all. They're both no contact.
I have a half-brother; around the same age as my mother. I've never met this man, and when I've asked about him I've only heard bad stuff.
This guy is slightly famous, has written a book about himself and genuinely seems to have changed. He used to be a gangster in Glasgow, I think he's killed someone in the past... But he genuinely seems to be a changed man. I know he's tried contacting my father, he doesn't use facebook at all, and my mother uses his account to play stuff like Farmville. My father got a message from him, whom only I and my mother know of AFAIK, from my half-brother asking general stuff, but it was left ignored.
Now my mother keeps telling me he's still an awful man, that he has said abusive things to her, but she also says she has never spoke to him. There must be a lot of stuff I don't know about, my family has plenty of secrets which is absolutely great...
I would absolutely LOVE to get in contact with my half-brother. He seems like someone I could talk to about his life for hours, and I'm sure he would like to know who his father is. My father is very ill and only getting worse, I don't know if this would be just too much stress for him, if he wants nothing to do with him, or if he might actually want to meet him. I've brought it up once, but my mother completely tore the idea down. I 100% understand why she wouldn't want to.
Am I being crazy wanting to meet someone like this? Are my parents hiding something? Should I just drop it?
TL;DR: | I have a half-brother who is an ex-con that I've never met and my parents hate, wat do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Was I [26F] overreacting about his [32M] actions? Dating 2 months
POST: I'm 26F and have been seeing 32M for 2 months. My bday was on Monday and he took me out for a nice dinner on Saturday, but no card or anything which was fine. He was going to be leaving town on Wednesday and so I asked him if I could see him before he left. My actual bday was on Monday (yesterday) and we had agreed to meet up that night to see each other before he left town for a week-long trip. I texted him when I was through with work around 8:30 pm and he replied back saying that a pipe broke in his building and he had to work late and wouldn't be able to see me, with no plan to see me the next day. The pipe had burst that morning and I didn't understand why he couldn't let me know that sooner so I wasn't spending the day looking forward to it. I thought it was strange he didn't say happy birthday or anything and that he didn't let me know sooner about the pipe burst, having to work late, etc.
I talked to a friend and decided I needed to end it with him because I was on the fence already. I called him and we had a pleasant convo in which he still didn't say happy birthday when I ended it. I didn't make it about that but said we weren't well matched. I don't think we had amazing chemistry. He said he was completely surprised by it and it came out of left field. I asked him why he didn't say happy birthday at least and he said "I gave you a nice present and don't need to say it again." I apologized and thanked him for dinner again. Then I hung up and we left it at that. I still don't think I was asking for too much and I don't get why he was surprised that I'd want to end it. He also could've let me know earlier in the day about the pipe burst and his not being able to see me that night. Was I being inconsiderate?
TL;DR: | Not sure if I made a mistake breaking up with him, was I asking for too much for him to say happy birthday on my actual birthday? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Oral sex blues: My boyfriend won't go down on me.
POST: My boyfriend [M, 23] and I [F, 22] have been together almost 3 years. We've been living together for 1. We have a great relationship and are very much in love.
We have sex about 3-4 times a week. It's always fantastic and he is a great lover. Our foreplay, however, is not so great.
I give him head multiple times a week, at random (while he's gaming, etc) and before sex. He hasn't returned the favor since...early December? I realized this about two weeks ago and it's been bothering me constantly.
We've talked about it. Several times. I bring it up every couple of days and it's getting to the point of me almost nagging him and I hate this. But I can't help it. It's really starting to make me feel self-conscious and a bit neglected.
I feel like he's not telling me how he really feels about the subject. Every time this comes up, his answer is always the same: "I'm going to do it! I like it. I'll do it the next time we have sex." The more I bring it up, the more defensive he becomes. I don't blame him for that. I'd get defensive, too, if I was asked the same question over and over again.
I've been doing everything I can to help the situation. I freshen up several times a day, I make sure I'm neatly shaven, I've been giving him blowjobs more frequently, etc. It's not working! I've told him that I wouldn't be offended if he didn't like it, if he thought my taste was odd, and so on. Maybe me bringing it up so often makes him not want to do it? I don't know.
So what should I do about this? I hate that such a small thing has been bothering me so much. Any advice would be appreciated.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend hasn't "returned the favor" in several months. I've let him know how I feel. Hasn't helped. What can I do now? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Argument with my [23F] boyfriend [24] of a year and a half about his brother [28].
POST: The other day my boyfriend's brother said to me, "I want to marry a rich cougar so she can buy me stuff. All I want out of life is a sweet lamborghini.
Today I was telling my boyfriend about this conversation and we got in a fight over it because I said I felt bad for someone who had that as his life goal. My boyfriend said, "you think you're so much better than them because you have a career where you help people?" (I'm a social worker). He then went on to say, "you're putting yourself up here, and him down there."
I disagree with him. I feel bad for a lot of people for a number of reasons. Not because I'm any better than them. I have sympathy for someone like his brother whose main life goal is a sweet car because it's not something you can take with you after you die. And I have a sad image of him as an old man and realizing his priorities were all off.
Also relevant is that about four months after my boyfriend and I started dating, his brother tried to force himself on me. My boyfriend forgave his brother rather quickly, and even though I will occasionally be around his brother, I still haven't forgiven him. So I told my boyfriend I feel like he's constantly taking his brother's side. He replied, "well, he's my brother". We have talked about marriage, so I replied, "you know, eventually you're going to have to put me above him, right?" and then he said he had to go to work and slammed the door and left.
Was what I said out of line? I feel like this blew up out of proportion so badly and I don't know how to fix it. I'm still pretty angry.
TL;DR: | boyfriend's brother only wants a nice car out of life, I said I felt bad for someone with that as their priority, boyfriend got pissed. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What are the best sites, programs, or tools for a person being drafted into IT to learn the basics and then build on them and build it into a career?
POST: Hi long time lurker here, I have been in the IT field for years, but a friend of mine has recently been drafted into IT by his boss and I'm trying to help him get started but I know there are so many tools and sites out there that will help him do it on his own and they will probably help him a lot faster than I can with my cluttered brain, so anything that helps him move in the right direction would be appreciated.
The specifics:
Right now he's working on Microsoft based systems and starting from spreadsheets and trying to move onto some databasing but he would also like to learn coding, scripting, web design,troubleshooting, repair, building, networking, etc.
Thanks in advance to anyone that helps out.
TL;DR: | Friend is trying to learn more about the computer world and wants to begin with Excel and move up from there what are some sites and tools I can hook him up with to help? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [20/F] Can see being with him [19/M] for a while but too young to settle down
POST: I'll start by saying that I do really like my BF. We communicate very well and have similar ideas about the future. I almost always enjoy the time we are together and I can see being with him for a long time. I've never met anyone I can see fitting better with which is such a stark contrast to every other relationship I've had. We are best friends.
Lately our relationship has been a bit rocky. I'm very bad at keeping in touch electronically and we don't often get to see each other. I have been having mixed feelings about the relationship and it doesn't help that I work with someone and have a bit of a crush (I have no inclination to date that person, just very, very attracted). I feel like I've found someone pretty great, the type of person I could be with for a long time but, I'm 20 and settling down after 2 years of dating seems impossible partially since I can see a point in the future where we may head in quite different directions (I'm leaving school 2 years before him).
I just can't figure out if I should keep plugging at it or if I should try and let go. I want to be free but at the same time I'm not ready to let go at all. I just feel like the timing is so off.
TL;DR: | Only person I can ever see being with long term (Almost a perfect fit) but I'm not ready to settle down. Dating for a year |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Should I [30M] admit to my creepy behavior to her [26F]
POST: Six months ago I became infatuated with a model/artist living in my city. I had no connection to her whatsoever and became aware of her through social media. I became a fan of her work and slowly started being obsessed with her. I knew getting her attention the conventional way wouldn't be good enough. She is somewhat famous and is constantly approached by guys, many of whom were more attractive/rich/successful than I was. I don't have enough flash to stand out initially so approaching her at the bars/parties she went to would also have a low chance of success. As I mentioned, I had no connection to her at all so I couldn't stick around long enough for her to get to know me.So instead I pretty much internet stalked her, and the thing is, I'm really good at stalking. Through articles, social media, and public records, I figured out way too much about her. I knew how much her parents made and the circumstances of their divorce, I knew what cars she's ever owned, her dog's birthday, the crazy things that happened to her in high school.I figured out who she's close to and which of them are the most approachable and I approached them. It took months of weaving through her network until I was eventually introduced to her in the best way possible: by a really good friend of hers who had really nice things to say about me. So I essentially sidestepped the process of having to prove myself to her, which would've been nearly impossible given how far removed I was from her life. Right now we're friends slowly moving into friends with benefits. Getting to know her I realized I should not be dating her right now. She's fun and exciting but a little scary when it comes to relationships. I remember in an interview she mentioned how much she likes to manipulate the men she dates and wants them to be subservient to her, so yeah, I don't want any of that. The question I'm asking myself is, should I admit to my creepy/somewhat sociopathic behavior or just let it go? Was my behavior just wrong? How would you react to something like that?
TL;DR: | I pretty much internet stalked my way into a woman's life. Wondering if I should admit to it/was it wrong? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (21m) have come to the realisation that I will not marry my girlfriend (20f) of almost 4 years. I won't see her for over a week and a half, so how should I break this to her?
POST: So basically we both work a lot and will not see each other for close to 2 weeks until school starts. We do not live together. And this is my first real relationship.
I am just not happy. I love her. But maybe not in love with her. I don't see us getting married and this will only waste her time. She will be heartbroken and I am such a people pleaser. I'm terribly empathetic and communicating this will be the hardest thing I've ever done. It will be the end of our relationship.
The last few months to a year have been very rocky. I've stuck through it due to fimilarity and scared of the unknown. But also for hope that one day things will change.
So how do I tell her? What's the best course of action?
TL;DR: | absolutely terrified of the conversation that will end this relationship. It's my first relationship. How to tell girlfriend I don't see us getting married? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU By passing up the smoothest move I'll ever make
POST: So this happened about 30 minutes ago and I just realized how I messed up.
So I was driving home from my track practice with my window down and music playing loudly. I was listening to a Spotify mix tape when I pulled up to a red light. A very attractive girl who was blonde with big sunglasses in a 2-seater BMW is in the lane next to me (This comes into play later). So I notice she is smiling and looking at me. So I smiled back and waved. She started to say something but I couldn't hear her because my music so I went to turn it down. I noticed the light changed to green and drove off because I was holding up traffic. Turns out, I was blasting Let me Take You Out by Travis Porter. Here is a link
So anyway, I realized that it was playing around the 35 second mark which some how described the girl as close to perfect as possible.
TL;DR: | I played the perfect song at a red light that described the girl next to me perfectly, and I didn't even notice how smooth it was. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Boyfriend is annoying in public, around friends
POST: It seems like I'm the only one with this problem. Everyone loves my boyfriend. Apparently he oozes with charisma.
I've been dating him for about 9 months now (I'm 23, he's 22), and besides this newfound resentment I have (which I hope is just a phase), he's a really outstanding guy. He is definitely a keeper; selfless, fun loving, and a damn nice body.
So why do I feel like I hate him? Whenever we're around friends, he tends to be the center of attention, but not an attention whore. It's hard to explain. He wants to make sure that everyone is connected at a group, and will talk to everyone, make sure there's common ground. Almost like he talks to much. At parties, he will meet anyone he doesn't know, and will introduce me to them. Sometimes I just want to be at a party with him and only him, I don't want to meet other people. He can go do his own thing, but sometimes I just don't need to be introduced to other people.
In public, when walking around downtown during the hustle and bustle, or just even the two of us walking around his quiet town, he makes a scene, he likes to prance and skip sometimes, or say hi to random people and compliment or make small talk.
It's like, yeah, he loves being around people, but I just don't see the point in announcing you're there. I'm afraid if I tell him he's annoying, it might hurt his ego. Either that, or I just don't want to be around him. This has been only happening lately. It was charming at first when I got to know him, I thought he was trying to impress me. Now it just grates on me, how outgoing he is. We do have days where we don't see each other, but when I do see him, I'm kinda drained from his happiness. Typing this out, I feel like a terrible person for condeming him for being him.
Have you guys ever been around someone like this? Full of life to a fault? I'm wondering if I need to accept his behavior, or maybe try to get him to calm down a bit.
TL;DR: | BF is very extroverted, almost to the point of annoyance. Has to talk with everyone, make known he's there. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, what would you do in this situation?
POST: Here's the story:
Last night a few of us (including some of my roommates who are also redditor's) went to an information session hosted by a large financial firm. We found out about the session via our university's career development center. The university provided us with a van for transportation and paid for gas, parking etc. The session was held in a mid-sized city approx. 2 hours away from our school. On our way home, the van began to make some funny noises, which eventually turned into some intense shaking. We pulled over and noticed that the lug nuts on the front driver's side wheel were incredibly loose. We spent some time fixing the problem (In our suits!) and got on our way. However, the problem immediately continued. We got off the next exit and drove into a mobil station when bam! the wheel falls right off! To make a long story short, we waited for someone to drive the 2 hours from our school to pick us up and take us home. We didn't get home until 4 a.m! We are pissed. If the wheel had fallen off 20 sec. prior, while we were on the highway, there could have been some serious injuries. We are shocked our school would be that irresponsible. We don't really know what action to take now, if any. That's why we came to reddit. Any advice would be appreciated.
TL;DR: | A wheel fell off a van our school provided for us while we were driving it. Don't know what action to take. Our school sucks. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: My brother is stealing my money. How can I stop him?
POST: Me and my brother share a bedroom. I'm 18 and he is older than me. At the end of the day, after I come home from work. I empty my pockets on to a table and sometimes I have $10 or $20 notes. I'm not that kind of person that is very clingy with money, its just what ever to me and I would never ever take anything that belongs to someone else as I believe in karma and what not but I don't think my brother shares the same view on this matter. He feel any money that is out in the open is his and proceed to take and keep quite about. If he asks me, I would surely give it to him if his reason is viable. He did this before, and when i confronted him, he is just said like 'I needed it for the bus' and mum buys into that but she forgets that he is learning a bad habit. I want a way where I can teach him a lesson and never repeat this again. I even buy his tooth paste and replace his toothbrush for god sake. One thing I cant stand is dishonesty and stealing. Need your help Reddit.
TL;DR: | My brother feels like any money, I put on the table and is out in the open belongs to nobody and hence he can just take it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Significant Payment, need advice
POST: I'm a writer. Like most writers, I've lived on the fringe of poverty most of my life. Until now. One of my works is being adapted into a big budget film.
I received a check for 30,000 today. Once production begins I'll receive 220,000 (A quarter mil less today's 30k) and I will be taking a percentage of profit less my 250k advance.
It's still shaky. The deal could stall. The movie could bomb.
Or it could work out. I need to learn how to handle money. I know the cardinal rule. Don't touch it. And I'm not--although I did immediately sign up for subscriptions with the Economist and the WSJ.
The more I read, the more terrified I am of getting involved in stocks. Just today I read an article in the Journal about markets falling in lieu of Greece's economic woes.
How can I learn to invest safely without losing my shirt? If this works out in the best way possible I'm looking at something in the low 7 figures. Probably not enough to hire a broker, but just enough to either change my life or foolishly squander. I'd rather not stumble into the latter.
I want to learn everything I can about investing. I'm reading papers. If you have any books to recommend, I'll check those out. Are there classes on money management available out there? I really don't want to take anything at a college. I want 100% practical material. I do not want to deal with prerequisites or any college nonsense. I got my degree. I don't want to go back, except maybe to grad school, and that would likely be something related to literature. This may sound bizarre, but I'd love to enroll in the trade school equivalent of an economics/finance course.
TL;DR: | Starving writer gets his break, terrified of screwing up and losing everything. Please tell me what to read, where to study and learn |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by jabbing myself in the foot with a shank
POST: A short quickie for all of you
So today (~1:05 AM, totally today) I was getting ready to head off to sleep, when my mother came in and told me to shut off the light.
Me: Give me five more minutes mom, I'll do it shortly
Mom: Just go to sleep already. *Shuts out the light*
Well fuck, I can't see anything at all. So I decide to simply walk over to turn on the light. As I began to walk over, I felt the bottom of my foot scrape over a piece of metal. I turn the lights back on and see blood all over the bottom of my foot and all over my door prop made out of the remaining metal from a demo derby car I'd made earlier (We put small vans together and smash them into each other. The one that does the most damage to the other gets a point, you lose points for derailment). I quickly hobbled downstairs and slammed some rubbing alcohol and gauze on it, then hobbled back upstairs and tried to sleep.
Hey, at least I'm walking right now
TL;DR: | Can't give you one much better than the title. I kicked a sharpened piece of metal I use as a door prop barefooted. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (19m) messed up a dance and ruined chance with my crush (19f)
POST: Oh, what could I say. I was the only one that did not dance, at a dance. I feel like a fucking loser and idiot. The girl i have liked for nearly a year now, i could not ask her. Reason 1: I was super nervous, never actually spoken to her or even slow danced ): And afraid of rejection Reason 2: She was always with someone, whether dancing her friend or another guy, I could not even get the chance to talk to her.
I feel like a bucket full of regret and I fucked up big time, I think some people think that I'm gay for not dancing with anyone. The next dance is February (2013). What should've done, what should i do next time? Did I mess up big time?
TL;DR: | Fucked up at a dance, couldn't ask my girl because to nervous and she was always busy. I feel like a complete loser, i was the only one who didn't dance with anyone. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [38 M] with my ex- [37 F] 10+ years, ended 2+ years ago, Why delete/destroy pics?
POST: I've posted how lately I've been going through another phase of struggling with the end of a long term relationship, despite living ok, dating a lot, having fun I'm in a phase of regret for ending the relationship and am worried about how this will impact the future.
I have 10+ years of photographs and digi pics that show us growing from first year uni students, through first careers, trips, adventures, houses, cars, dogs, parties, weddings, friends etc. Some pics I'd never share with anyone, others I'd love to share with the world. This latest phase of regret has been rough and I have been looking at them too much, seeking temporary relief but likely just doing more damage.
Counselor and others have recommended destroying the pics, that memories will always live in my head. But to me this is an archive of a significant, extended period of my life, I've been able to leave them alone for long periods in the past and it's reasonable to me to think I'll get out of this latest regret phase and be able to put the pics away for another extended time.
What if when I'm older and am in a different place I'd like to have these, to have a tangible reminder of who I was and what I did?
Would appreciate thoughts and experiences on the pros and cons of deleting pics.
TL;DR: | Prefer not to delete 10+ years of relationship pics but get the reasoning behind why it could be a good idea, experiences on both sides of argument would be appreciated |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [21M] in love with my best friend [22F] who lives 1000 miles away.
POST: I've known this girl for more than 7 years. We started out as really good friends and just last year I found out I have strong feelings for her. I told her how I felt and she responded the same way. Now we're on an on and off relationship of talking things over.
She lives very far away from me, as in another country and I think this is why she does not want to start a committed relationship with me. I told her I was willing to get in a long distance relationship with her but she was the one too scared to commit to one.
Last time we saw each other (Christmas week) we kissed for the first time and it was amazing. We both decided to try and not let our feelings get the best of us but it's just impossible. I've tried dating other girls but I just end up comparing them to her in my head.
I really don't know if I should insist on giving our relationship a try or just give up and get back to being friends until the time is right.
TL;DR: | I have strong feelings for my best friend who lives far away but does not want to start a LTR and can't get over her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: 24 year old teacher - retirement planning
POST: I'm a 24 year old teacher, with a mandatory pension contribution of 8% of my pretax income. I am not eligible for a 401k or Social Security, and I'm trying to figure out how best to save for retirement beyond that pension, because I'm highly confident that pension plan will fall apart (it's badly underfunded).
The one saving grace is that when I leave the public school system, I can roll all my pension contributions (but not my employer match) tax-free into an IRA. Essentially, I can take back that 8% of my pre-tax income when I leave - which I fully intend to do. However, I want to save significantly beyond that.
My current combined tax rate works out to ~14%, so I'm looking at putting my money into a Roth IRA. However, I'm really clueless about what to do beyond the $5500 maximum I can put into the IRA. From what I can tell, my only real option is to put it into a taxable investment account, but that seems far less than ideal - without a 401k, am I stuck paying taxes and capital gains on whatever other money I invest at this point?
TL;DR: | I can't invest in a 401k, is there any way to reduce my tax liability for retirement savings beyond a Roth IRA? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Who is the most ignorant/laziest person you know? I'll start…
POST: A kid that used to be in the same English class as me (a year early entry) failed the coursework and got low grades on both the exams (Literature and Language) so he got moved down a group and had to re-sit both of them. He failed the coursework and the exam again so got automatically put in the lowest group. Due to this, he couldn't take Literature and only had to do one exam and one piece of coursework was emitted. He got really low grades and had to re-sit again (results on Thursday and he's probably failed).
He never paid attention in lessons (had headphones on and loud enough so most of the class could hear the music) yet was still in some of the highest achieving classes. He dropped a couple of subjects because he simply didn't want to do them (he was too lazy to do any work).
When everyone else applied to college/sixthform he didn't do anything. He lives off his dad's money and his dad lets him do it. He said that he's taking a gap year from school, even though he's 16 and didn't work at all during the last three years of school, so there's nothing to really take a break from.
Over this summer holiday he's been out once and the rest of the time he's sat being lazy and playing XBOX, going to bed very early in the morning (2/3AM) and waking up after midday. He's lost almost all of his friends because of it, and I can only laugh at him.
TL;DR: | – Kid I know is too ignorant and lazy to even apply to go to college anywhere and doesn't meet up with friends because he's in love with his XBOX and his dad just gives him money to sponge off. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Should I keep dating him?
POST: Crosspost from RA...
I'm 25F, he's 26. We met on OK Cupid a few weeks ago and had an amazing instant connection. Since we met, we've been going out a few times each week and talking almost every day. We've both acknowledged how much we like each other and that things are progressing quickly but that we're happy where we're at.
We went out again last night and had an amazing time as usual. He told me he hadn't been with anyone else since we started hooking up and that he could really see us becoming something special.
We go back to my place for dinner/sexy time and go to bed. My allergies start acting up so I go to look for meds. His phone is right next to my medicine cabinet and as I pick it up to use it as a flashlight, a text comes up that has my name in it. I know how wrong it was to look at it, but I did, not thinking it would be anything. Turns out he's taking some girl camping this weekend ("to fuck" as the text said) instead of going with his friend Steve like he told me. It was wrong that I looked, but I was so upset I woke him up and kicked him out.
We spoke this afternoon and he was immediately defensive, saying I misinterpreted our situation. It took awhile but he finally admitted that he had misled me into believing he wasn't dating ("so not to hurt my feelings") and that he'd like to continue dating and thinks we could have a future but only if we see other people until he's ready.
I really liked him and was really having strong feelings for him and I loved what was happening between us bc I thought it was leading somewhere really great. But now it seems like we're taking a major step backwards and I have to deal with the the knowledge that he's hooking up with other people, which just makes me super jealous.
So - considering we weren't dating very long, but also that he knowingly misled me, do I keep seeing him? Help me!
TL;DR: | I found out a guy I've been dating for a few weeks is sleeping with other people, after implying he wasn't. Do I keep seeing him? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [17 M] feel like I'm about as exciting as a goldfish to my SO [15 F]
POST: Background: We met online, hit it off, Skyped every day all day for the first two months, everything was great, we're madly in love.
I drive two hours to see her, and two hours back every Tuesday because it's the only time I have the car.
Once we became physically intimate it's become the only thing we really do and she barely talks to me outside of when I'm physically there or when she intentionally starts a fight (she has openly admitted that she does this.
I've begun feeling like a goldfish, she tells me she loves me and that I'm her everything and even that I'm an amazing boyfriend but she also says she's gotten used to me and that I'm smothering her if I try to talk to her about this.
TL;DR: | My girlfriend says she loves me more than anything but doesn't put any effort into our relationship anymore and I don't know what to do because I fell in love with the person she was when she tried |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Car problems. Considering a lawsuit.
POST: So a few months ago, I took my car (A 2012 Camaro) to a Firestone to get the oil changed. Somehow they jacked up the oil change and as a result my engine leaked all the oil out and it seized. It's completely toast now. The dealership where it's at right now said that they're going to have replace the entire engine.
Naturally, the second I found out what happened I went to the Firestone and told them what happened and that I wanted them to pay for the repairs. They agreed to send a corporate rep out to inspect the damage and they'll get back to me. That was almost a month ago.
Now let's fast forward to today. The rep finally got around to inspecting the damage last monday, but he or she hasn't told me what's going to happen. I was told that they would get back to me on Wednesday, which came and went with no word from them. I tried calling them on Friday but the number they gave me was disconnected. So I physically went to the store today and started demanding answers. We managed to get the number thing ironed out at least and in the process found out that the lady who's handling my claim won't be in until Wednesday.
Now here, /r/legaladvice, is where you come in. I am getting a distinct impression that Firestone is dragging their feet in this. My patience is rapidly fading and what's replacing it is pure frustration and anger. I have 3 questions(I'm in Georgia):
1) Is there a way to legally expedite this WITHOUT going to a small claims court?
2) Should I have to file a lawsuit, how good of a case do you think I have?
3) I've been using a rental car while Firestone's been up to their shenanigans. Rentals aren't cheap. Can I get them to reimburse me for that too?
TL;DR: | Firestone messed up my car, I'm trying to get them to pay for it but they're dragging their feet. So I'm considering legal action. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26 F] with my SO [24M] of two years, feeling lonely.
POST: My SO and I go to the same university and it's where we met. Before at the start of the relationship I would always be over at his place and we would always be together but that was over a year ago. Now I'm lucky if I even get to see him once a week. This week I wasn't. I really care for him and I wish we can spend more time together but he has more important things to do and I just don't fit into his life anymore. It makes me sad but I feel like this relationship is going nowhere. I don't think I'm strong enough to keep going, I just want to end it now but what if I'm giving up too easily?
He doesn't include me in anything he does anymore. I even asked before if I can join him in the next project he's doing. He agreed to it but it's been a couple projects past now and that never happened. I do invite him to my events but he rarely comes and only if it's a movie. As soon as the movie is over I drive him back home because he can't spend anymore time to grab a bite after.
I don't even feel like I'm his friend anymore. When we are together he would be texting his friends a bunch and we hardly ever text each other.
I don't get it. This relationship feels fake. It's my last year here at school but I find I'm too obsessed with thinking about him and I don't want to lose focus. We never even celebrated our anniversary or valentines day. I was upset about the Valentines day one since I tried to plan something with him but he overworked himself the night before and slept through the day. When I tried to reschedule it he didn't didn't think it was that big of a deal and nothing came of it. There are many instances similar to this where I felt that I'm not as important to him as other things in his life. I know school is important and I wouldn't want to distract him from that but he could make some time or show in some way that he cares.
TL;DR: | I don't feel like I'm in a relationship anymore. Is it possible to save it or should I just move on? |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: I feel like I've spent my adult life on the phone....and I'm only 26.
POST: Not expecting responses; I'm just home alone and need an outlet to get out my frustrations. Yay, reddit.
Ugh. Yet again, something to do with finances is fubar, and I've spent all morning with no luck trying to get a real person on the phone. I had new student loans kick in yesterday, yet my payment only reflected my old loan (though the website for my lender gave me the assumption that the new loans would add into my automatic payment). So my new payment was late today through no intentions of my own. I was able to pay today online, but I spent way too long talking to a computer on the phone to try to get to a real person (which, by the way, never happened). I just want to make sure none of my future payments get messed up--AKA: I JUST WANT TO PAY YOU PEOPLE, good god.
I just feel like I try and be an adult and stay on top of things, and yet something always seems to go wrong (that is beyond my control) and I have to spend hours on the phone trying to reach a real person/sort it all out. Last week it was my health insurance provider who forgot to send me a statement to pay for my first month of insurance (THIS month's...). I spent more than three hours on hold with no one answering. Luckily that came in the mail the next day (three weeks late) and they'd extended their payment due date....but geeze, I went through so much stress over it all and was prepared to spend another day trying to reach them.
I realize that these issues are really minor in the big scheme of things, but is this what I have to look forward to for the next xx years?
TL;DR: | I put in the time to be responsible, but it seems like a lot of the services I need to use to do so are so faulty and/or hard to navigate that it becomes a major PITA. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Dog of 5 yrs passed out. Now in E.R.
POST: Of course when there is no where else to turn, I summon the internet lingerers like your self.
First off I love my dog. He's my best friend. Sounds cliche, but its true. I paid so far $500 to start treatment. I knew this day would come, but never knew what I would actually do. I always figured because of money he would be better off being put down. But I cant do it! I dont want to live life without him. I feel as though it would save a lot of heart ache if I did just let him lie easy. Maybe I am being cheap. But even if he is better in the morning, its only a matter of time before it happens again. I take care of him and give him all the love I can, but maybe he would be better off and so would my heart if he was to be put down. I think everything will be okay, just I have no where to vent. So thanks for reading.
TL;DR: | dog got sick out of no where. Passed out and is now in ER being treated for god knows what. Need comfort or any advice to help me through another human endeavor. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Having a tough time right now (not depressed/sad, just a rough patch) where on Reddit can I go?
POST: So I have two kids and their mother, while great with them, is just not mature enough. She cheated awhile ago but we moved past it amicably for the kids (not together anymore) but she was still one of my best friends. Just sitting and talking with a girl/woman is enough for me, but now shes working when not with the kids so we are distant. Life is empty without the beauty and aggravation that women bring. So I ask you as a noob to this site, where can I find a place to just message or chat with the female persuasion?
TL;DR: | lonely, have two kids so almost no spare time, would love to just chat with a girl. Where can I? |
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