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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [22f] don't agree with my friend's [22f] relationship
POST: My friend [22f] and I [also 22f] have been friends for 4 years now and we're very close.
She recently started dating a...older guy [33m] who also has a child from a previous relationship. My friend is constantly asking for my approval and advice with her relationship with this man, but I do not think this relationship is healthy. My friend has never had a boyfriend before and this is her first serious commitment, but this is not a normal relationship in my opinion.
Do I tell her how I feel about her relationship when she asks me next? I worry about hurting her but I truly don't see this long term and she's already talking about marriage (after 1 month...)
My problem has nothing to do with their age gap, it's that she's inexperienced with relationships and this man with a child is already roping her in. They aren't on the same level of maturity with relationships. He has been engaged twice and she has never had a boyfriend.
TL;DR: | One of my best friends is dating a man 11 years her senior who has a child. My friend keeps asking for my approval but I simply can't give it because I don't agree with their relationship. |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Landlord never fixed mold. Gf and I fell very ill, had to move.
POST: We've moved (10AUG) but they knew about it since about 2 years prior to that. Also, we had a health inspection and it was noted 3 months prior to our move by the borough. We both still have some coughing/breathing issues from time to time that inhibit us while working out/running/anything strenuous really. We're hoping it clears up, but we've head black mold damage could be permanent. Am I able to sue the pants off my ex-landlord? People have told me as such, but I put up a case on one of the "legal match" type sites for my area (Outside Philly, burbs) and got no response. I have pictures of the mold, noted missed time off work, pretty sure everything I would need but I can't find a lawyer. Am I in the right to sue here, and is there any recommendations for finding a lawyer to deal with such a case around my area? I felt like it should have been easy, but we're having trouble. I could really use the money from shelling out medical bills and moving fees so quickly.
TL;DR: | Black mold in old apt caused damages to my girlfriend and I. We live outside Philly. Can I get a recommendation on who to talk to? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Is it too soon to casually see someone?
POST: Throwaway since my ex knows my other account.
I [23M] fell out of love with my ex [21F] at least 6 months ago. I addressed this a month ago and brought up that I no longer wanted the relationship to continue due to this fact and that I no longer saw a future with her.
It was not easy. She kept convincing me to stick with it for about 3 weeks until last week when I finally committed to the decision and ended it. She moved out on Thursday.
I had made good friends with this girl a few months ago that practices with my sports team, we have a lot in common. We started talking about two weeks ago. I took her out yesterday and had a great time, which ended it another great time.
I don't have any intention of starting a relationship with her I'm kind of conflicted as to whether I should even casually see her. We spoke about it today and she understands that I don't want anything serious but that I still like her, I will not be ready for a relationship for a while. She agreed to see each other casually but I made it a point that we need to be honest with how we're feeling.
I'm conflicted because one of the main reasons why I split up with my ex is to develop myself as a person. I have feelings for this other girl but I'm treading very carefully because I know that I am emotionally vulnerable at this point.
I'd just like a little input at this point to help round my thinking on this.
TL;DR: | Fell out of love, tried breaking up for 3 weeks and didn't happen until last week, took other girl out yesterday, not sure if I should see her casually? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Please help. I'm so confused :( X-post from r/relationships.
POST: A girl was trying to get me to cheat on my girlfriend. I kept saying no, but then, out of just stupid teenage hornyness, I sent her a few explicit texts, but then I realized that what I was doing was extremely wrong and told her to stop. She didn't. Still being horny, I brought up that maybe a threesome could happen, that way I wouldn't be cheating and i'd still have sex with her. I asked my girlfriend if she would ever want a threesome, and she said no. I told this girl that that was her last chance, and that that ship has sailed.
I ended up telling my girlfriend the whole story, except the dirty texts I sent her. I still feel awful, though. I was just horny last night and said some things that I shouldn't have said. Honestly, I never would have acted this stuff out; it sounds crazy, but it really was just an in-the-moment stupid thing to do.
Even though I ended up doing the right thing, should I tell my girlfriend the whole truth? Should I tell her what the texts said? Or should I promise myself that I will never do something stupid like this again, and leave it alone? I feel like my girlfriend has the right to know.
TL;DR: | Sent a few dirty messages to a girl other than my girlfriend. But then I stopped. Should I tell my girlfriend the whole truth, or should I just not do it again? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My Girlfriend [F18] doesn't do any of the 'small things' in our relationship for me [M18]
POST: I know its a small thing and a bit silly to get upset over but mu GF never does any of the little things when we're together. What I mean is, whenever I see her, I give her back/feet rubs, I plan little surprises like flowers and little date nights, the whole nine yards, but she never does any of these things for me.
Its not deal breaking or anything but it kinda sucks, in our 6 months together I've gotten one, half-assed backrub because I made a big deal about it and that's it, she hates feet so that isn't a possibility, she always argues or puts it off till time to leave when I want a back rub. Doesn't do little cutsie things.
What do, I want the little things to be reciprocated now and then.
TL;DR: | I give my gf back/foot rubs, little gifts, etc all thee time because she loves them but she never does the same |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [Breakups] [18M] how do I get over her if I don't even have friends to fall back on?
POST: I started talking to her when I started my final semester at high school. So, when I graduated, I was always with her for summer and ect. I took one year off this year. So if I wasn't working I was always with her.
This means I didn't realize that all my friends starting to disappear because they have all their own lives now. They have their own gfs, they have college, home work, school work, family time.
So me and my gf broke up one week and a half ago. And I'm left here lonely. Everyone is busy with their own lives. I'm here at home I have nothing to do. All my friends are doing their own thing. This makes my heart break so much worse.
This isn't like the other guys who are like "huh yeah I dumped that bitch" then they go party with their friends and forget about her. No. Since the break up, I am so lonely and I don't even have friends to help me out with... I have nothing to do... No where to go. How do I cope with this? What could I possibly do as activities to get my mind off her?
I'm broken into pieces.. Having a big heart has many negatives. And I'm lonely. I don't know what to do with myself anymore.
TL;DR: | I have no friends, and lonely. Broke up with my girlfriend a week and a half ago and I don't have any friends to fall back on. Makes the heartbreak so much worse. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by flipping over my buddy's new(ish) Xbox and destroying the only game he owns
POST: He's out of town, but I was hanging out with his roommate/mutual friend and got bored so I decided to play some Halo on his Halo-edition Xbox 360. He's mostly a PlayStation type of guy, but when Halo4 came out he sprung for the special edition just to play it. Anyway, his Xbox is kind of perched precariously on a speaker due to a short HDMI cable, and when I went to start the game I tipped the Xbox causing it to do a good 1.5 backflip into the wall. The disc now has a deep circular scratch and is unreadable.
TL;DR: | broke my buddy's only Xbox game and will have to buy him a new one before he gets back from up North. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What would be the most rediculous costume one could jump into lake superior with, in the freezing cold winter in front of a crowd of people?
POST: Hello redditors! I would like to talk about this awesome event I'm participating in this year. I'm a student in Duluth, Minnesnowta, and through Duluth Regional Care Center where I work, we are doing a Polar Plunge fundraiser! 100% of the proceeds goes to fund special olympics programs in Minnesota through law enforcement torch run [link about that here:
It's a really fun event to get involved in, I will be jumping into ice cold lake superior with a costume I haven't decided on yet. I would love some rediculously awesome costume ideas if anyone has anything. This will then be filmed and posted on youtube.. I'll be looking at any top rated comments and picking a costume in the next couple weeks. Some examples of costumes from years previous: Gorilla suit, Viking helmet&banana hammock, Old wise man beard/glasses and cane
The more creative the better!
OK shameless plug time. If you would like to personally help me by sponsoring me, I would be so grateful! I've tried a few local business's, but everyone I've been to so far offers giftcards/coupons, which I can't accept/use for the fundraiser. My personal page:
I'm currently just at the $75 dollar goal. Being in school and working full time, I don't have the entirety of my time to devote to this fundraiser. If I exceed $75, the goal can go up, every little bit helps. Thank you so much for reading and please post your costume ideas!
TL;DR: | Polar plunge fundraiser! I am looking for rediculous costume ideas to jump into Lake Superior with, and donations if you are feeling generous <3 |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My[m26] girlfriend[34] of over a year is freaking out over an exam she has in the morning and taking it out on me
POST: This is happening right now. My girlfriend has been minimally studying for an exam she has in the morning. She's asked me to help her study and I've agreed to help but she seems to find excuses for not studying. This happened the last two nights.
We discussed yesterday me catching up with a [f27]riend this evening (Old platonic friend.) At the time there was no issue expressed. Now tonight, I spent 1.5 hours with my friend and came home to see if the gf wanted help studying. She claims that I chose my friend over her.
Now, her exam is in the morning and she is frustrated at me for hanging with my friend. Frustrated is putting it mildly. She's been calling my friend names and being disrespectful towards me. Not the first time, but definitely the worst for this pattern.
Here's the kicker, this is really bringing up warning flags for me. My ex used to do similar behavior. Get stressed and then take it out on me. I'm really triggered by this sort of behavior now, so I'm going to Reddit for advice.
Should I be apologizing or gtfoing?
TL;DR: | Gf stressed about exam and is taking it out on me by name calling and being disrespectful of my friend and me. Wondering what I should do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Im[22,M] and been in a relationship for over a month now. Girlfriend seems to be very worried over a previous love interest.
POST: Hey so I've been in a relationship with this wonderful girl for over a month now. My SO is very easy to get along and very active in clubs at out University. Because of that she has a lot of male friends which before she met me really liked her. In the end I seemed to be the pick of the litter. However she did keep in touch with a few of them as friends, though one of them (Male 1) hasn't seem to have gotten over her yet. Every time we walk by he would through looks at us. My SO has been trying her best to keep him out of the picture. However Male 1 very recently had a serious accident which was indirectly a result of her telling him how to improve as a person, and has left him bedridden for a long time (Suffered Cardiac Arrest from working out). It was only recently that we were notified of this happening.
Now I can't say that I am very well versed in relationships but for some strange reason I just can't get over the fact she's worried about this guy that has been chasing after her for so long. Any advice on what I should do?
Note: I want to apologize ahead of time because I've never posted here nor am I able to get my thoughts out properly right now. I would gladly go into more detail if it would help.
Edit1: Im 22, and she's 21.
TL;DR: | My girlfriends previous love interest had an accident and has through her off a bit. I'm worried for her and what happens next. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by going to the mall high
POST: This was last week but whatever. So me and my friend smoke up in her car when we suddenly get bored and she's like "what do you wanna do?" and i dont know so we end up going to the mall.
The first store we walk into there's these weird little miniature volcano things spewing vapor in the air and they're tripping me out so my friend says "go ask the lady what it is". And, just a little key info, im horrible at talking to absolute strangers, specially when im baked, and even more so when im in a store.
Anyhow i walk up to the lady and she explains that its an air purifier that uses these oils to create vapor or something but the best part was that i actually kept myself composed.
That is, until i imagined what itd be like to throw hash oil in there.
Suddenly, the only image in my mind is the store lady hitting some mad hash out of the purifier and i burst out in laughter,
and im talking **burst** out in laughter.
This shit shook the foundations of the mall, it was heard down several stores and probably the next mall. Like i was roaring with laughter. So i just grab my friend by the arm and, still laughing my ass off, im like "yo we need to get out here, and now". We eventually made it to one of those areas with couches and plastic palm trees and sat there until i was cool enough to keep shopping. I felt pretty horrible for the air purifier lady
TL;DR: | I went to the mall high and imagined a retail worker smoking out of an air purifier she was showing me, laughed incredibly loud, right in her face |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Should I go to a community college and transfer to a University of vice versa?
POST: I'm currently a Sophomore in high school and wondering what my future holds for me. One thing to note is that my school is 10-12, so this is my first year attending a high school, but my 9th grade year still counted towards my GPA. Also, the high school is split into three trimesters, but my 9th grade year was split into two semesters.
When I was born my grandpa set up a college fund for me because neither him nor my Dad went to college, making me a first generation college student. This is really great, but we didn't learn until recently that it only truly works in Virginia, where my grandfather lives. I was kinda hoping to go to UT, but I'm happy to go to college at all, so I just decided to roll with it. Last year was an okay year for me as far as grades go. I didn't fail anything, but I didn't pass by a lot. This year, I failed AP World History all together. I'm not certain of my GPA, but it wasn't stellar to begin with. Right now I'm doing much better. I have straight A's and am hoping to finish off this year strong. Also, I just got my
TL;DR: | I have a college fund that only works in Virginia but I live in Texas. My grades haven't been great so far but are much better. I'm considering community college for 2 years but am not sure what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 M] with my GF [21F] eight months, I lied to her for months. How do I prove to her that she can still believe me.
POST: My girlfriend and I have been dating for about eight months. She was the best girl I have ever gotten. She was sweet, cute, kinky, and completely in love with me. She helped me be a better person; she helped me stop smoking and she gave me a the freedom to be me whenever I'm with her. She gave me freedom and love. We are both in college, and I lied to her about my grades and my classes. I told her I was doing well and I didn't withdraw from any class, but I did. She has been suspecting this for weeks and today she confronted me about it. I told her everything. I showed her this semester's transcripts .
This entire semester my lies have been eating away at me. I knew I should tell her, that I have to tell her. But I was too afraid to tell her. I didn't want to seem incompetent and unsuccessful. Now I regret everything. She told me today that she is falling out of love with me because of this. How to I prove to her that she can believe me, that I can be honest. I don't want to break up. She kept me on track this semester despite the my grades, without her I would've done worse. I want her to stay. I know I need to be honest, but how do I prove to her that she can believe me? Please help.
TL;DR: | I lied to her for months,and I was too much of a coward to tell the truth. How do I get her back. |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: Post your stats/goals/and ideal look
POST: Hey r/loseit. I saw this idea over in [r/keto] and thought it might be fun to try here as well. It's interesting to see what everyone views to be an 'ideal' or 'aspirational' body style, and how close/possible they feel they are to attaining it.
I'll start: Female 5'4, 189lb (Down from about 230), around 31%b.fat. My ideal look is [Kat Dennings] who is surprisingly my same height. We are both curvier by nature, and she flaunts hers with out being over the top. I think shes a great role model for us ladie folks.
I'm on a 'Keto' diet and my goals are to be around a size 6 by January. Currently at a 12-14! Another goal is to run a 5k.
Now let's see yours!!
TL;DR: | Post your current height/weight/bf% (if you have it), your goal(s), and post an image of a body or type that represents your goal. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: What are we?
POST: My girlfriend [F21] and I [M22] of 4.5 years, spoke the night before about our relationship and where it needs to go. The conversation included me saying that we are where we are, even if the relationship has been a rocky one. I also stated that I would do anything that would help us relieve stress, even if it meant breaking ties for a while. I made it clear that if it was a breakup we tried, to hopefully eventually be closer as a family when we got back together, that I would want the decision to be mutual and not 1 sided. She agreed and since the topic does fly by us.
The thing is, we live together and have a son. So our mutual responsibilities are clear. She goes college, I work. She suggested that if we do a 'breakup thing' she would want us to still be passionate with each other and still do things as if we were a couple. And I like the idea because distance is not what we both want. I wouldn't want to move out because I'd want to be with her and my son.
When it came to talking about being with other people if we 'broke up', she stated she wouldn't feel comfortable, and I stated the same. I said I wouldn't think about being with someone else because since becoming a father, my view on life has dramatically changed. So I dont think that'll be a problem to arise.
Since we keep saying we could break some ties, to hopefully relieve pressure, but still be passionate with each other, what does that make us? In an open relationship? Incompatible? Taking things slower? We both find it hard to contemplate what this could be so I search for an opinion on it.
TL;DR: | both me and my girlfriend discuss the idea of breaking up without loosing the passionate side of things or forcing a physical distance. What does that make us? |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: Help me with this super awkward job offer / resignation
POST: Two problems, one is way bigger than the other:
I have to leave on a business trip this Monday. I got a job offer yesterday. My start date is set two weeks from now.
I need to give two weeks notice, but I find it in bad taste to land at the headquarters and announce that I'm leaving. These sort of business trips are far and few between.
I think I should contact my superiors during the weekend and let them know what I'm planning. What do you think?
Second problem: I got my job offer letter, but nowhere does it mention number of paid vacation days. They have sent a ton of other details about 401k, medical benefits, etc. Is it proper to email them and ask them what I should expect? Is it common to try to negotiate the number of days? This is for a large corporation.
TL;DR: | (1) Got a job offer, but I'm flying to headquarters on current company's dime. (2) Want to sign job offer, but I don't know # of paid days off |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My girlfriend [21F] says she isn't going to have sex with me [21M] until she loses weight.
POST: My girlfriend and I have been together for a little over a year now. Our sex life has always seemed healthy. We don't live together but we usually have sex when we hang out which is 2-4 times a week or when we go away on vacations with each other. I love her very much, and I don't want to make it seem like sex is the most important thing to me. I just don't see the point of taking sex away when I've given her no reason to believe I wasn't into sex in the first place.
I always give her compliments, sweet texts and random gifts and random signs of affection. We both initiate sex and its not like I always am, nor is it her always initiating. I just don't understand why she'd take something away I see as special to us. Now, she's said we won't have sex and then we are together and we start kissing and then boom, we're laying in our own sweat, huffing and cuddling. But this time seems different, and the fact that she's openly saying its because of her looks and the way she feels about herself. If I say anything about being upset over it, then I'm accused of only wanting sex from her, I just can't win here and don't know what to do.
As far as her looks, she isn't a twig, she has curves and looks amazing to me and everyone who meets her. She has beautiful eyes and smile and her body is amazing clothed, and naked. I never fail to tell her this and its gotten to the point where it doesn't seem to mean anything to her anymore. How can I change this and help her? The weather has gotten nicer so we've agreed to go on walks and try and make better eating choices together and support each other.
TL;DR: | My girlfriend says she needs to lose weight and doesn't feel comfortable having sex and being naked because of her weight when she isn't even remotely close to being fat, more so curvy. How can I help her be more comfortable? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Currently trying to make my(20) relationship work with my bf(22) but I fucked it up
POST: My boyfriend and I have been dating for a couple of years, and to be honest our relationship has always been rocky. I love and care about him deeply, but our issues have become too much. I've been wanting to end things for three months now, and I finally did last weekend, but my boyfriend begged me to stay and work things out. To be honest he kinda guilt tripped me to stay, which he claims he feels bad for. But anyway, I'm willing to give things one more go, problem is I kinda fucked things up...
On Tuesday I stayed at a girlfriends house and got drunk, not usually a problem but something happened this time. I ended up messaging a coworker for hours. I don't remember the whole conversation, and I'm definitely not gonna read it, but I remember flirting and asking him to hang out. I've been interested in this guy for a while now but I've kept my distance, until the other night. The next day I apologized to my coworker and he was very nice about it, and he seems pretty respectable about me being in a relationship. Even so, I feel terrible about the whole thing.
Now I'm unsure what to do. I feel really guilty for talking to this guy. I didn't say or do anything too terrible, but the fact that I messaged him for hours while intoxicated is really inappropriate. I don't even want to spend time around my bf now. I feel guilty and like I screwed up the chances of our relationship being saved. And yet, I can't help but feel like there was much to save.
TL;DR: | Tried to end things with my bf but decided to give it another shot. Messaged a coworker drunk and got flirty. Now guilty and unwilling to work on current relationship. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [M18] Who has a question about a "friend" [F18]
POST: I came to college less than a month ago, and as part of the orientation we were grouped together with 20 other people. This was to help everyone get a core group of friends, and in the group I met a girl who I got along with very well.
I'm not gonna lie, I definitely started to like her.
We always talked to each other, and we quickly became close friends. Although we mostly hung out in our orientation group, she would come to my dorm to watch Netflix alone with me. I would walk her back to her dorm when we were done, and we would have really nice conversations. She would rest her head on my shoulder and we would browse /r/aww together. We texted often, and snapchatted constantly. This went on for about two weeks. Then all of a sudden everything changed.
She doesn't respond to my text messages or snapchats, but she responds to literally everyone else in our orientation group. We no longer hang out alone, it always has to be with other people. She used to sit by me and rest her head on my shoulder, but now she sits as far away from me as possible.
It all seemed to change when she found out one of her friends [F18] likes one of the other guys in our group. At this point, her friend and the other guy have admitted to liking each other. Now, even though she knows he's taken, the girl I like acts the way she did around me, but with him.
I've been very confused about it, and I don't know what action to take with it. Is she mad that I didn't ask her out? Did she all of a sudden develop a crush on the other guy? I was thinking about contacting her and seeing if she even likes me as a friend anymore, but that seems pretty dramatic considering I've only known her for a month.
TL;DR: | A girl I got along with really well all of a sudden doesn't want anything to do with me. What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My boyfriend [M20] was extremely generous with his holiday gifts to me [F19], how can I make him feel appreciated in the future?
POST: My boyfriend [M20] and I [F19] have been dating for about 9 months now. He's wonderful and we have a great relationship. He was very generous with the gifts he gave me for the holidays. I was completely blown away but felt very uncomfortable because I was not nearly as generous. I know it's supposed to be the thought that counts, but I couldn't help but feel awful!
Unfortunately I'm not really in the financial position to be super generous and I'm worried that this will continue to occur at all gift-giving occasions. How should I go about this in the future? What are good cost-friendly gift ideas? I love him a lot, and I really want to make him feel special and appreciated.
TL;DR: | My boyfriend was extremely generous this holiday season. How do I handle future gifts and what are some cost effective gift ideas? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20M] starting to fall for a [22F] friend after a one year friendship.
POST: I've recently developed strong feelings for a female friend that I knew from another close friend. It all started as any simple friendship, but after time passes, we started sharing every single detail that happens during our normal day. So I started liking the girl. Recently, we've been talking more often, I messaged her via FB last week so we can grab a cup of coffee, then ended up having lunch together. It was so fun, and at that point I was sure that I like this girl.
I've never talked with her on the phone, and last time we talked she said to me "why do I not have your phone number?" (I really didn't know how to answer that), anyways we exchanged numbers, and after that, she literally called me everyday ever since. I'm really happy about this. But I kind of think she's just being a good friend. And the age difference is something to put in mind. What do you guys think? should I back off, or tell her how I feel about the situation?
TL;DR: | I like a girl who is 2 years older than me, not sure if it's okay if I tell her how I feel about her or just step away. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [17M] with my girlfriend [17F] are in a tough situation. Need advice.
POST: Okay to start off with, we are both 17 and have been together 9 months. We began getting sexual around 3 months and did this behind our parents' back.
The other day, my girlfriend, T, was forced to tell her parents everything about us. T's parents are beyond angry about the lying and all that. I have not had any contact with T since Friday night(when she was allowed to call for 5 minutes) and that was the last I heard of her.
T isn't allowed to have her phone or hangout with friends or have any privacy for lord knows how long. I was told not to come and visit T's parent's shop or home to try and apologize. My gut feeling though is to man up and apologize to both her parents and explain that me and their daughter are in love and are planning to get married one day(as weird as that sounds.)
As far as the relationship goes, T's parents said they would think about allowing us to continue to date so I have no clue what's going on at all. I'm legit worried and growing depressed as the days pass.
So I need advice on what to do /r/relationships. Should I go and apologize or just wait it out? And if I go apologize, how should I approach the situation knowing they didn't want me to do that? Any help is appreciated.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend's parents know that we are sexual and I'm not sure how to approach the situation or deal with it. Need Advice. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (27F) seeing my recent ex? (27M) this weekend- what can I do to rekindle our relationship?
POST: Hey guys. Throwaway account here.
I'll try to keep the backstory brief. My sort-of-ex and I dated? have been dating? for 5 years. We have been absolute best friends for that entire time, and continue to be best friends now. We have been very much in love and practically have our own language.
Recently, there have been troubles. A few months ago, he asked me to move in with him. I said no (a decision I regret to this day) because I want to marry him and have his children, and was hoping to be engaged before moving in. He was very hurt, and said that he'd never marry me because I want children and he doesn't (a statement that came out of nowhere- we discussed parenting often). I was devastated, and it started a few months of fighting. Then, he went back to school and said that our relationship was sort-of-over, but he hadn't changed it on Facebook and we still talk like we're together and we're still in love.
I love this man more than anything. This whole problem began because I want to love him forever. I will do anything I can to get him back- we're both miserable apart from eachother.
I get to see him this weekend for the first time in a few weeks. What can I do to try to win him back?
TL;DR: | bf and I half broke up but not because of lack of love. I get to see him this weekend- how do I win him back? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU By opening the door to my first ever Jehovah Witness
POST: Okay so it wasn't today, I lied. But it was a couple months back...
So it was my summer holidays from school and I'm on my computer surfing reddit when I hear a knock on the door, my parents and grandparents were out so I was shocked when I heard the door bell only a few hours after they left, I crept up from chair went into the hall and because we have a glass door ( something like that.) I could make out the shape of a man and a woman who were blonde... I was confused, so I opened the door and peered round the corner, they looked friendly enough so I opened the door as a whole.
Everything the internet says about these guys bothering you at your door is not a lie, these guys will ask you questions, hook you into unnecessary small talk and won't announce who they are or what they want.
So the guy asks me, are you parents in? And I said no, the woman butts in and continues to talk about how I'm so tall, and how I must be studying for the upcoming year, and I nod it off and there was a brief moment of awkwardness. Which was then met by the man giving me a leaflet and stated about how it's a commune meeting and asked me if I wanted to join them.
By then I knew who they were. Oh I knew. I looked down at the paper and suddenly realized who they were. I said I'll think about it, and said bye, abruptly, mind you. And closed the door.
It's been a couple months since then, and different couples knock on my door about every month.
I should have said no. I should have said no.
TL;DR: | Jehovah Witness' knocked on my door, I said I'll think about joining their meeting, they literally thought I was thinking about it and now visit frequently. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Advice Please.... I(18f) him(20)
POST: Where to begin? We have been dating for 3 months, everything was going great, we went on a couple of dates, met each others family and friends, and just as it seemed to be too good to be true, it became too good to be true. His parents kicked him out, we will skip the boring parts and come straight into it (him getting kicked out wasn't anything he did, his parents are bat shit crazy). He moved in with me, about a week later, my parents are telling me he has to go or we both go and they want me to break up with him, but I can't just leave him, I won't. We both make around $400 a week, but honestly were both scared and don't know what to do, where to start. He works full time and is a full time student. My parents want him out because they think hes using me, but he has done the exact opposite, he pays for everything, but they just don't want to listen at all. I understand its there house, they have the final word. I just want some advice, where to go, what to do, how to do it, anything.
TL;DR: | ! Boyfriend got kicked out, moved in with me, week later my parents want either him or both of us out. Help |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My boyfriend [23 M] of 1 year makes significant more money than I [22 F], and it's giving me serious insecurity issues
POST: My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year now, and as we start to talk about things like marriage, this has really been starting to bother me lately. He just graduated from an Ivy League school and now works for a major company making well into the 6 figures.
I, on the other hand, just graduated from a state university with a regrettable degree and have struggled to even find a job. Currently I'm waiting tables trying to find a real job and making about $25,000 a year, while he is already on his way to millions.
For as long as we've been dating, we've agreed to just split every cost like going out to dinner, etc. 50/50 and basically have pretended there is no income difference. I don't want him to feel like he should pay for anything for me, and really it's a matter of pride that I keep pace with him. We do not live together, but at some point relatively soon we are probably going to head down that path, and this is where I see the income gap really becoming an issue.
Lately he's been trying to pay for things more than his 50% share, and this makes me extremely uncomfortable. I feel like I will probably never live up to his level of success, and like I'm not even remotely good enough for him. I've become incredibly insecure about my lack of career and crappy degree while he's off doing incredible things at just 23. I want to be able to provide an equal amount of resources and bring the same amount to the table, but I just can't, and it seriously bothers me.
He seems to be totally fine with the disparity here, but secretly it's absolutely destroying me. Do I just get over it and trust him when he says it's okay? Do I talk to him? What can I do to stop freaking out about this? I'm afraid I'm going to cause harm to our relationship over this.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend makes 10x what I do and is more successful in every way, and it makes me feel incredibly insecure. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [28F] best friend's [30F] boyfriend [33M] privately admitted to me that he's cheated on every girlfriend in the past 11 years except her. How to handle?
POST: My friend and I recently got into a big argument over something that we've since worked out. One of them being that she was suspicious her boyfriend had feelings for me, since he was trying to hide conversations between he and I. I have always been open with her about us talking since we have some mutual interests and he has been very helpful regarding some certifications my husband is trying to get for work.
Her boyfriend and I have since stopped talking in order to avoid overstepping friendship boundaries, but during one of our final communications, he revealed to me that he's cheated on every girlfriend he's had in the last 11 years, except for her. She intentionally doesn't ask about his previous relationships because she has self-esteem issues and doesn't want to start comparing herself to them. It's strange, but her business. I don't appreciate that he told me this, and I told him as much, because it puts me in an awkward situation of knowing too much and I didn't ask for this. He is generally a very naive person and I'm fairly sure he was completely unaware of how I would feel about knowing this.
Even though I feel like if I was in her shoes, I would want to know this information, but I've made the decision to stay out of it because it's not my relationship and not my place. Even if the "once a cheater, always a cheater" mantra gnaws at me and I don't like keeping secrets from someone who is important to me.
TL;DR: | BFF's boyfriend admits in private convo that he's cheated on every girlfriend he's had in the last 11 years, except my BFF. I decided to not say anything, am wondering if I am doing the right thing. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (f20) recently found out my mum is unsure who my father is.
POST: Hi everyone, first post here so please excuse me for any mistakes.
I'll start from the start,
Growing up my 'dad' was never really around, He was a truck driver so he was gone many nights of the week. When he was home he got drunk and got voilent towards my mother. My mum left him when I was about 6 years old, but he stuck around for another 2 years trying to sort things out with my mum.
I have 2 younger sister's (16,19) and an older step sister and bother (23, 26) I didn't know So well (step sister and brother have a different father who is lovely) I never really fit in or looked like my younger sister's, I always felt left out. A few weeks ago me and my mum were talking and she tells me that there is a chance that I could have the same father as my step sister and brother, which would explain a lot.
I know that it won't change anything knowing who my father is, but I feel so lost not knowing who he is, a chance to find out my father isn't the abusive But I grew up with. I'd like to know peoples opinions if it would be worth finding out who my real father is, if it turns out to be the same father as my older sister and brother should I try to form a relationship with him? Does anyone have any similar situations?
TL;DR: | not sure if I should try to find out who my real father is, and if so should I try to form a relationship with him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Advice wanted: I don't know how to help him.
POST: My first post! I'm 17 & female, my boyfriend is 18. We've been dating about 3 months, a lot has changed since we first started dating considering he is now done with school. Things with us have been going really good, we both really like eachother and how the relationship is going a lot! However, he has dealt with depression since he was young. Little things that go wrong during the day, or how things are going in general upset him a lot. He is always in need of affection, attention, and love. He gets in these moods where he wants help and I don't seem to know what to say to him. A simple "What's wrong", "What can I do to help?" isn't good enough. He says things like "Make me feel better" or "Give me attention", I tell him I don't know what to do, and he's putting too much pressure on me to make him feel better on command. I would really like to know what things you can say to someone to let them know that they are loved and let them know that you care about them, ways to show affection with words other than just "I love you" or "I care about you".
TL;DR: | How to respond to "Make me feel better", how can i fulfill the needs for affection, attention, and love? |
SUBREDDIT: r/cats
TITLE: Reddit, what do I do about this cat?
POST: My father and I live together in his house, we also have a roommate who pays rent. I moved in with my dog about a year and a half ago when my father's wife passed away, leaving a cat behind that was strictly hers. My father since has tried taking care of the cat, but he hasn't been a devoted owner. It's gotten so bad that I'm pretty much the only one who feeds and takes care of the cat. He often talks about getting rid of it because he doesn't like having it around. Now, I feed the cat daily, I don't have a problem with this. My problem is that I normally spend 3-4 days away from home a week(I bring my dog with me). When I come back, the cat has no food. I recently thought about finding a new home for the cat but I'm not sure what my options are. I'd rather not have to consider a shelter. I know that if the cat stays here, he will not be taken care of properly when I'm not around. Can anyone tell me what my options might be for giving this cat some love while I'm away, or finding a better home?
TL;DR: | I have a cat that's neglected and doesn't get the care he deserves, do not want to give him to a shelter, what do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: [Rant] I think my flatmate is trying to sabotage my efforts :( Advice please.
POST: First of all, I'm not fat and neither is my flatmate. But I do have some skinny fat left to lose, my flatmate is a twig who can eat whatever the hell he wants. He knows I've been anorexic before and he's seen me lose 40 pounds a few years ago which I've kept off. I'm always trying to improve myself in different ways but he's content working/sleeping/gaming all day every day. He's the kind of guy who just sits around feeling sorry for himself all day about his shitty life instead of actively trying to change it.
Anyway, sometimes he'll say things like "lets go to an Italian restaurant today!!!" (I'm doing low-carb by the way) or "omg, we should totally make a cake!". Something like this happens every couple of days. He bought a big box of chocolates for us to share (they were cheap, I felt like chocolate and I suggested we buy it because I'm not uber strict about this, we all need to treat ourselves now and then). But whenever I picked out a chocolate he'd watch me with a creepy smile on his face! Since then it's been bugging me about his behaviour. He ended up eating way more chocolates than I did.
I don't think he's actively trying to make me gain fat back but it's like he gets a kick out of watching me fail and always trying again. I really don't know what I should do. I already talked to him about it last night, I got annoyed when he knew I was full but wanted me to keep eating so I got half joking/half confrontational about him wanting me to get fat. I then asked him why he didn't eat anymore and gave the same reason I did.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated :)
TL;DR: | suspect my flatmate is trying make me fat because he's jealous of my motivation/efforts not to sit on my backside doing nothing for the rest of my life. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [18/M] just found out my ex [18/F] wants me back after being with another guy
POST: Me and my ex have been together for 2 years. We were each other's first everything. We lost our virginities to each other, we've planned to go away to college and even settle down. She really is someone I'm completely in love with. We broke up last week because lately we've both been having issues and haven't been able to agree or settle disputes as easy as before. We had a huge fight which I basically walked away in a fit of rage after she yelled "its over". From then on I plunged into a mini depression and she did to. So much so that she got drunk and at 4 am invited a guy over to her brothers house to vent. She was naive and stupid and ended up fucking him. 2 days later she admits to me that it made her realize how badly she had fucked up because she couldn't stop crying while she did it because she kept thinking of me. Now she wants me back and I don't know what to do. This is her only sexual relationship without me and it was a drunken 1 night stand because she didn't expect to get back together. Any suggestions or prior experience welcomed
TL;DR: | me and my ex shared our virginities, we had a huge fight and broke up, she had a one night stand and completely sobbed throughout it and realized she only wanted me. Help |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [19 M] long distance GF [18] of 3 months suddenly wants space
POST: I've been together with a girl for soon 3 months in a long distance relationship. We used to talk almost all the time either via text or skype. Then suddenly, around 2 weeks ago she said that she wants some space.
I'm extremly anxious all the time now and can only think about why she wants space. I've even asked her what's wrong and she just says "I don't know myself, I want to find out".
I can't help but feel like she has found someone else in her hometown.
I haven't sent a message these last days and she has just sent me 1 snapchat, which I replied to. I'm extremely worried because I don't want to lose her. I've been depressed for a couple of years and she is the only person who actually makes me happy when we talk. I really want to make this work out.
She uploads a lot of pictures to her Snapchat story but barely sends me any.
The weirdest thing is that she used to be pretty clingy and then suddenly became the exact opposite.
What should I do? Should I continue to give her space until she finally wants to talk to me again or should I bring up that it's an issue for me, that I feel terrible? Or should I do something else?
TL;DR: | My long distance GF suddenly wanted space. She used to want to talk all the time. She doesn't say why she wants space. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18M] with my girlfriend [16F] of four months, and I have a problem.
POST: So, I have a problem. My girlfriend, who's 16, please, hold the jokes, broke up with me a while back. Her reasoning was that her parents hated me and she couldn't stand lying to them about being with me (because she isn't allowed to see me), and I understood that. The only thing is that I really like her, like see a future together with her. I know I'm young, and stupid and that's probably what this is, but still.
Well after she broke up with me I started talking to this girl a couple days ago, shes about 45 minutes from my university, while my ex is at home over 2 hours away. The new girl is great, we met once and had a great time together, and I like her. The problem comes into play here, my ex called me last night saying she was wrong and impulsive from breaking up with me so quickly.
Now I don't know which way to go, back to what I know, which probably consists of a few months of real happiness, but eventually getting caught again. Or I can try this with the new girl and see where they go. So please give me some advice guys, if this isn't the correct place for people this young please direct me to the current area. Thanks
TL;DR: | Love triangle between my ex of 4 months and a new girl who I really like, don't know which way to go. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [24M] lost in life
POST: Sorry if this turns out into a wall of text, I'm on mobile. I'm 24 years old and I've just been feeling very lost for the past couple months. I feel like there's this void and there's nothing I can do to change it. On top of that I feel guilty because I contemplate what I have and I should feel blessed. Here's a couple things going on with me.
I have a great job making a very good salary. I should be happy but honestly I'm bored. The people are great though and I'm salary and only end up working Monday through Friday 6 hours a day so I have plenty of time. Then there's my friends. We go out tons and when i say tons I mean tons. I'm never home but even though I have a lot of fun, I don't enjoy myself. It's confusing to describe. Then there's my relationships. I'm recently divorced and it was the best decision and mutual to separate. I don't have trouble meeting people but honestly I just find most girls right now to be quite awful or boring, maybe it's just me? Then there's my alone time and hobbies. When I'm home I just kind of go through the motions. I find everything I used to love to be dull. Whether it be gaming or movies or my tv shows, it's just dull. I mean I still do it but I find no enjoyment.
Thoughts?
TL;DR: | I feel like there's something missing in my life even though I feel I should be lucky to have what I have. Thoughts? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23F], him [23M]. Together 2 years. Am I being too sensitive?
POST: My boyfriend will act shocked and sometimes almost annoyed if I don't know something that he considers to be common knowledge. For example, if a song on his iPod is playing and I ask "Who's this?", he incredulously respond "You don't know who this is? Really?? But EVERYONE knows this band!" instead of just telling me the band name.
It makes me feel shitty, and stupid for not knowing.
He does this too often for my liking, maybe once a week. I've spoken to him about it before and told him how it makes me feel. He apologizes every time for hurting my feelings, but tells me that he was just expressing genuine shock.
It happened again recently. He brought up a current event in the news and I didn't know what he was talking about. I asked what happened and he went off again: "You really don't know what happened??" At this point I lost my patience and got up and left.
He later came into our room and apologized for making me feel bad, but the apology didn't really make me feel better because he tried to justify his actions anyway. He said that once again he was just expressing shock. That his friends will do the same to him when he doesn't know something, and that it won't bother him. That I'm really sensitive and it's exhausting to deal with.
Now I'm sitting here confused. Am I too sensitive?? I wish he would just explain things to me when I ask instead of making a big deal about it. But maybe he's not making a big deal? Maybe I'm taking things too personally? I don't know. :( What do you guys think?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend acts shocked if I don't know something common, which makes me feel dumb. Am I being too sensitive or is he being a bit of a jerk? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me[22/M] in love with my best friend [21/F] who's been with my other best friend [21/M] for 6 years.
POST: Ok so, I met them about 2 years ago, I became really close friends with them both. Eventually I got closer and closer to her (we'll call her J), so me and J became really close and I eventually fell in love with her. J and her highschool sweetheart (we'll call him S) are rocky in their relationship every now and again, mainly because he's left J before when they were a lot younger, because he had feelings for J's best friend. (this was about 3 years ago when I didn't know them)
Now, they have gotten in contact with her again and S talks to her all the time, which J isn't ok with at all seeing as they broke up over her previously. I felt like for a long time that I had moved on with my feelings for J, when J and S fight I would be there to console J and help them work it all out. Until this past weekend.
This weekend they basically broke up, because J couldn't deal with S's lack of respect for her among other things. This sparked my feelings back for J, they didn't leave they were just being forced down. I know she cares about me more than as a friend, and if they weren't together we would definitely be together, she just loves him more. But they pretty much broke up and I was with her all sat night (nothing happened, just talking to J trying to make her feel better etc, just being a good friend) and it seemed like to me I might get my chance, when the whole time I've known them I've repressed my own feelings just to try and be a good friend, no matter how much it crushed me inside.
Then Sunday night they ended up sorting it out and everything just exploded for me. I feel physically ill because of this, because of my feelings for J, because of how hard this is on me. I don't know what to do, I don't want to ruin our friendships because of how much I care about the both of them.
I really have no clue what to do and would love some advice, especially if you've been in the same sort of situation.
TL;DR: | In love with best friend, who is with my other best friend, almost had a chance to be with her, repressed feelings exploding and making me feel horrible, depressed, physically ill etc |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: IMHO I think those whose net worths are more than 10-15 million dollars should be required to donated a reasonable percentage of their income/net worth to charity each year.
POST: By no means am I an economics expert.. I'm an 18 year old kid who is sick of our society judging people's success by how wealthy they are.
I don't want to start a rant so I will condense argument and keep it short.
Justin Beiber's net worth is roughly 40 million dollars. He is 18 years old. I am 18 years old. WTF does an 18 year old kid need with 40 million dollars?! If I had 10 million dollars I could live a perfectly comfortable life. Even if I had 5 million dollars! So WTF does he need 40 million dollars for!? IMHO he should be required to donate a reasonable fraction of his income to charity. Think about how amazing it could be if he donated 10 million dollars to charity. He would have 30 million left (which i believe is more than enough money).
In another instance you have the Kardashians. To be quick, 60 million dollar wedding. Imagine if she cut that to 30 million dollars and donated the other 30 million to charity!? Jesus just between the Kardashians and Beiber we could have 40 million in charity.
I could go on about professional athletes, political figures, actors, muscians, etc. but I want to keep this short. I'm posting this here because I want Redditors opinions, views, criticisms, and the like. I hope this can spark a healthy conversation.
Rather than basing success on how much we make, we should base success on how much we give back.
TL;DR: | Wealthy figures should be required, by law, to donated a reasonable fraction of their income/net worth to charity each year |
SUBREDDIT: r/dogs
TITLE: Probably going to get a dog this week -- im so excited but also scared
POST: I have been wanting a dog ever since I moved out on my own 4 years ago. I grew up with dogs and have worked as a dog trainer, pet sitter, and vet tech for the last several years. I've been waiting for the perfect dog at the perfect time. I think this may finally be it.
My neighbors have a puppy (8 mos) heeler mix that is way too much energy for them. She's exactly what I want. However I have to think reasonably about the costs of owning a dog. She's almost a year now, and she's never been to the vet. She is in great shape and has been treated with a lot of love, but she'll need her vaccines and need to be spayed, as well as flea and heartworm medicine. I have no idea how much the first month of owning her will cost me, so i'm hoping to get some wisdom of experienced owners.
TL;DR: | I want to adopt an older puppy who is healthy but has never been to the vet. How much should i expect to spend inthe first month or two? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [22 M] have been dating my girlfriend [21 F] for two years. I love her more than I love myself.
POST: I have been dating her since April of 2014. We met in college and enjoyed so many good memories. We quickly fell in love and have been ever since. In November of 2014, I left college to work full time and go to school part time back home. We have been long distance ever since and have made it work. Now we are at the point where we are talking about a future together.
I don't want to be overly dramatic in the title, but I mean it. I have a lot of issues with self love and I sometimes think I love her more than I love myself to the point where I am using our relationship as a way to fill the void inside of me. I recently brought this up (in different words) and we have talked about it. I am going to counseling and using my support system to put effort into myself so that I can grow. I just saw her for 5 days and things are going great.
However, she is graduating from college in 7 months and I will still be a year or two from my 4 year degree. I am taking online classes and working full time at a job that is good, but not my career. She is talking about where she wants to go after graduating and I want to leave my current home town (its the retirement capital of the world, not much going on). However, I don't want to simply follow her on her path, I want us to be building ourselves up along side each other. Yet, I don't know if I can trust my own decision making - I'm not going to throw my life away for this girl but I sometimes worry that I am making huge decisions based on her. In general, I'm kind of lost on where I'm at right now in life and I'm drifting along in school and work while waiting to create some thing with her. I would appreciate any and all advice on my situation, if it even makes sense to people.
TL;DR: | Been dating a girl for two years, everything is great. My issues with self love are making me worried that I'm going to end up following her life path without considering my own. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [30/F] him_ [42 M] work colleagues. Helped me through a break up and now there are feelings.
POST: I was with ex bf for nearly 7 years and we broke up around 15 months ago. I have moved on from this relationship however I have a problem with a colleague.
I've worked with my colleague for a number of years and when my ex broke up with I was devastated, the support I received was the best a person could ask for from friends, family and work.
There this one guy who would take me coffee to talk through everything & even support me over the phone in the evenings. He is married & I believed he was being a good friend.
Moving a year on this colleague I have developed a crush on I knew he was married so never crossed that line. I know he knows I have a crush on him and I believe he plays on that.
There is flirting on both parts so I decided to see him less, but I think he picked up on me moving on and somehow managed to pull back in to liking him. (If that makes any sense)
My problem is I can't stop thinking about him and wanting more (which I know is wrong) I start to feel down and think of nothing else. I know the flirting is wrong on both parts and I can see what he is doing to keep me hanging but for some reason it doesn't get through to me.
Is there any advice that can be offered to help me try and get passed this.
I have taken up activities which do help but he is always on my mind.
TL;DR: | Crush on a married colleague who helped me through a break up. any advice to stop thinking of him all the time. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [30m] wife [28f] of 2 years keeps bugging me for kids
POST: I've told her 100% that I refuse to have any. This is something I decided on in my early 20s, for personal reasons. She knows this too, but I guess she thought she could change me. She'll do it subtely like point to baby pics of her friends on facebook. Or she'll say wouldn't it be great to have kids? I tell her no.
Then there was last nights incident, where she stormed out of our friends party, tipsy, saying if I don't want to have kids with her she'll find someone who will. A few minutes later she came back sobbing and apologized.
This was strange because she knows how I feel about it. After we got home I asked her if she wanted a divorce, she said no. I told her that if she wants kids so bad she is free to leave and I won't hold her back. To this she cried.
I feel like my marriage is in trouble. However I love my wife, and I don't plan to leave her. Is there any chance this can get better or am I being naive?
TL;DR: | wife wants kids, I don't, she made a scene last night, I'm afraid she won't let this go, what to do from here on? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Is 20 too young to be moving in with my boyfriend [24]?
POST: I've always been mature for my age — this is not a brag, as sometimes it's been more of a curse. Regardless, I feel I am mature enough to be living with my boyfriend who I've so far been with for 1.5 years and will continue to remain committed to. We both want to have a 1br apartment we can live in together, plus we've already had tons of experience technically living together at my current apartment that I share with two roommates. We get along extremely well (while having the occasional argumentative moment like any healthy couple), and while I am away at college/work during the day, he (graduated) writes articles for websites from home and does many of the household chores — a set-up that we both like and agree works for us.
For us to finally live together *alone* and further strengthen our relationship will bring me nothing but happiness; although, I still understand it will take work from both of us. The only problem comes from my parents who feel I am far too young to be living with a boyfriend (I've had to not mention the fact we practically live together already, which is easy because they live four hours away from us). They don't take into account my maturity, nor do I think they even know what age/relationship-length they *do* consider to be appropriate for moving in together. With them, it's more that they have conservative values mixed with a worry for keeping up appearances for other people (especially to the rest of our family).
TL;DR: | — Should I stand up to my parents and move in with my boyfriend? Do you have any suggestions for the best way to make this stand against them? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [23/F] am starting a relationship with a new guy [26/M]. I've never been in a serious relationship, and I don't know how to change my mindset from "single" to "in a relationship".
POST: I like this guy A LOT. I've never been the relationship type of girl, because I've always enjoyed dating. I'm 23, fit, pretty, and I go out on dates 2-3 times a week, usually with all different people. I like flirting and getting asked out... just everything about dating.
But I recently met this guy that I cannot stop thinking about. Our first date lasted almost 9 hours. We just talked and laughed the entire time. I'm falling for him really hard.
I'm absolutely terrified of screwing this up. My new boyfriend and I have already discussed exclusivity, and we would both like to be only with each other.
I think I'm just really scared of being in a relationship. I've never done it before. It's incredibly thrilling and exciting - I've honestly never felt this way in my life. But I'm also so scared of myself in this situation. I don't want to fuck this up.
Oh I should probably mention that my boyfriend lives a 3.5-4 hour flight away, so we're long distance. He flies in weekly to see me and we FaceTime 1-2 times a day.
TL;DR: | I'm entering a real relationship for the first time in my life, and I'm terrified of doing something that will jeopardize it. Any advice? |
SUBREDDIT: r/running
TITLE: Desperate from reoccurring injury, thinking of switching to a more minimal shoe. Advice?
POST: So I started running last July after about two years off. I increased my mileage no more than 10% a week, and I got hit with bad shin splints in September (just when I reached 20mpw).
I took about 2 months off and slowly increased my mileage and it flared up really bad again. Took two more months off and slowly increased my mileage and it began to come back again.
I now haven't ran since Feb 1. I went to the dr's and he didn't think it was a stress fracture due to my low mileage, slow increase, and slow runs (I didn't do one hard workout/race) among other factors. I can't afford a bone scan and x-ray shows nothing.
So, I was gifted a pair of my usual shoe (Adrenaline GTS), that I never go to wear. I was thinking about exchanging these for a more minimal shoe. I have no interest in Vibrams, but I was thinking maybe I should try a more minimalist shoe: Free, Brooks Pure, Minimus, etc. I've heard many stories of people escaping chronic injury by switching to a minimal shoe and was wondering if this would be worth a try. The only issue is I couldn't get fitted, since the exchange would be via Zappos.
I never bought into the minimalist movement, but I am desperate and miss running a lot.
Any advice or experiences?
TL;DR: | Keep getting a shin injury, despite low mileage. It is highly unlikely to be a stress fracture. Should I attempt switching to a more minimalist shoe (from the Brooks Adrenaline GTS)? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by falling victim to the beautiful sky
POST: My favourite type of weather is dark and gloomy with rain. To me, it's absolutely beautiful. I also speak to some people who share the same interest, so when I saw the sky was covered in a dark mysterious layer, I grabbed my phone and ran to the window so I could snap a photo.
I took one, and it came out fantastically. But I'm greedy, and it wasn't enough, so I took another.. but it didn't quite go as well. My hands were sweaty, and the kittens behind me caused a distraction. As I turned to see what they were up to, the phone slipped out of my hands and smack, right onto the concrete path below.
I threw on some shoes, opened the door and flew out there. As I was approaching my phone, I saw the damage that had been done. The sun, which had appeared now the sky had cleared, was shimmering in the middle of my screen. I pick it up and there it is. A crack going all the way down it.
TL;DR: | sky cockteased me, I was stupid enough to believe the boob it showed me was natural, my phone's screen cracked because I was distracted and foolish and young etc. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20F] with my (already acquainted) tinder match [20sM] meeting him in a group tomorrow (unrelated to tinder) how to act?
POST: Okay, so this is silly, I'll preface it with that, but yesterday I matched on tinder with an acquaintance I know through a group I attend. I figured I'd swipe and see what happens. Turns out we matched and we've been sending puns back and forth about the group we're part of. All good fun, might be the start of something beautiful, who knows, but it's been very sort of... silly and jokey. Tomorrow, I'll be meeting him with the group we're part of and I'm unsure how to proceed? Should I leave the conversation (it's his turn to reply) until tomorrow and just continue how I have been pre-tinder match? Should I strike up a fb conversation to bridge the gap between tinder and real life conversation? This is so silly and I'm too old for this, but it's cute and fun.
TL;DR: | matched with someone I know on tinder already, but not well enough. Going to be meeting him tomorrow in a group and unsure how to bridge the gap. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Relationship between GF and HER parents..
POST: The relationship between my GF (22) and her parents is not good. From the outside everything seems perfect. Both parents work, daughter goes away to school (2 hrs away), we talk and laugh and everything is fine. But lately my GF has been telling me (and I have noticed in the past ((together 2.5 years, i am 25))) that they say pretty nasty things to her.
Her parents say hurtful things to her about school ( She has a 3.9 GPA as a Bio major from a good school ), tell her she will never get into med school, the mom today said she can't stand looking at her.
What worries me is that I see a lot of how her mother is in her. She says degrading things to ME, and makes me feel bad about myself too. I understand where it comes from and I just let it slide ( I am in grad school, work a full time and a part time job ). My grades were never even close to hers and I did not go to a good school like her so she would say things about that and my major i chose (sociology). My question is will this be outgrown? Will she turn into her mother and treat our kids like that? It is scary to think but the more I look back the more I see red flags.
TL;DR: | GF and her parents have bad relationship, I see a lot of what the mother does to my GF being acted out by my GF towards me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by letting my anger control me
POST: So, this pretty much was a preventable fuck up. It really was. This is happened today September 5, 2015 around 12: 50 AM (HST) around there. Sorry, if this story is a bit long. Anyway, I recently bought an Xbox Live gold code from cjs cd keys. I redeemed the codes and turned on my Xbox 360 to play Grand Theft Auto 5, well was planning on playing the online portion of it. Turned on my Xbox 360 and tried to sign in.
So, it was going on about how I couldn't connect to the Xbox Live services for whatever reason. Kept on retesting my network on the 360 since I knew it could connect to the internet. Kept on repeating the same steps over and over. Finally decided to check the status page of their service on xbox.com, lo and behold there was a notice about how logging into Xbox Live was a current problem.
Mind you the ARTIC Breeze mobile was plugged into the Xbox 360 to help with cooling it. Anyway got to the dashboard and started up Grand Theft Auto 5. Played it for a bit and completed some missions. Did that random even where I had to save the pink Peyote car. Completed and decided to keep the vehicle. Then, I went and did that Cletus mission learning about hunting elk. Failed it once and got it on the second try, this is where I got angry now. Peyote car gone.
I then tried to connect to Xbox Live again. No dice. Ok... got angry. Then I checked cjs cd keys' refund policy on refunding an Xbox live code. Unfortunately, can't since I already redeemed the code. Ah, well got pissed and threw my controller at the Xbox 360 and it hit the ARTIC Breeze mobile. Fan blades came off it, fan was still spinning.
TL;DR: | Got pissed and destroyed my ARTIC breeze mobile fan because I was an idiot for not checking the status of live beforehand. |
SUBREDDIT: r/needadvice
TITLE: Lawyers of Reddit, help me out with this?
POST: I want to know if I can file harassment charges against someone.
They've repeatedly stopped by my work, after being asked not to come. Unwanted physical advancements, which I've repeatedly denied. I've told her straight away that I didn't want any sort of relationship, and she's continues to physically touch and try to kiss me. (note: i've never even held hands with her. This is not a hit it and quit it scenario.) She's left me at least 100 documented text messages with verbal abuse and slander.
But the most frustrating are messages she continues to leave on my social media channels. I've blocked her from Facebook, Instagram and my cellphone. Then she found my tumblr, and started sending anonymous messages. I called her out on it several times and told her to leave me alone. It continued, so I blocked access to questions on my tumblr. She found another blog I run, and started messaging me there. They are all anonymous, but I know they are from her.
I haven't seen her at my house, though that's not to say she hasn't showed up. She knows what car I drive and we share a few mutual friends, much to my distaste. She's continued this after i've told her over and over again to leave me alone. I'm legitimately concerned that i'm going to wake up to slashed tires one morning, though of course I wouldn't be able to prove that was her, either.
So, what can I do about this? If anything?
TL;DR: | Crazy girl harassing me via social media and in person, can't 'prove' it's her. What can I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How can I [31m] increase physical intimacy with my GF [36f] or "what happens now after 1 month"?
POST: I have been going out with this woman for about a month now and we are in the 5-10 date area. She has met my friends and I have met some of hers. We go out on dates/do activities every week but I am uncertain about what to do now. We both don't have a lot of relationship experiences because of our various backgrounds that I won't get into here. I know I am in particular very shy / reserved in public when it comes to PDA and relationships. We haven't done anything more than kiss each other on the lips and hug. What is generally the next thing I should be trying to do? We're actually connecting pretty well on the emotional level as we've both discussed our backgrounds, families, siblings, childhoods, etc. I just feel we are not making as much progress on the physical level (whcih I do believe is important as well).
I don't want to come off as creepy but I don't want to be seen as asexual either. As cheesy as it is, is time to start holding her hand every time I see her and putting my arm around her when we watch movies and other such things? Should I just come out and bluntly ask her about this? (Could she be asexual?)
TL;DR: | We're both inexperienced in relationships and are now entering the 1+ month / 5+ dates range, what should I do now to increase intimacy (not necessarily sex)? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I need advice concerning this fantastic girl I met
POST: So I'm quite fairly nerdy. Among other things, I play DnD, watch Doctor Who like a maniac, and (the horror of girls everywhere) I LARP. I've had a bunch of failed relationships because girls believed that I was too nerdy for them and, in their words, not mine, "too nice." Finally, a couple weeks ago, I met this wonderful girl who was smart, funny, played DnD, watches Doctor Who, and does all my crazy nerd stuff, including LARP! We talked for a while, and my initial attraction turned to the wonderful feeling of liking someone a whole lot, and I started thinking of asking her out. But last night she went to a party at her university (we go to different schools, did I mention that?), got wasted, and woke up with some frat guy. Apparently he treated her well, but she doesn't know if she likes him. She regrets what she did at the party and I'm doing my best to encourage her and tell her that she's awesome and such, trying to make happy, but I'm kinda dying inside. What should I do? I really, really, really like this girl, and I really hope this doesn't change my view of her, and I'm seeing her in person on Wednesday (it's Monday now). I really don't know what to do. HELP!
*Note that I don't know if she actually did the horizontal tango with anyone.
TL;DR: | I'm a nerd who likes a nerd who goes to a different university. She went to a crazy party, did some stuff, and now I need advice on how to react. |
SUBREDDIT: r/needadvice
TITLE: I have a friend who's suicidal but not depressed. Can I help her?
POST: My friend lives in a constant state of pain and her body is essentially falling apart due to medical complications from a rough childhood. She is incredibly intelligent (going off to get her PhD off of a scholarship/fellowship) but does not think so and does not have any hope for the future.
The only reason she does anything is to meet and hangout with people, but because she suffers from insomnia, can be an inadvertently demanding friend from needing to hangout with people and thus has few friends that really stick with her.
She is very much a realist and does not believe that her death would affect her friends, in the longterm, in a significant manner (aka people will eventually move on with their lives) and I think she understands the toll she takes on people, emotionally. I think she is just waiting for the time when there aren't enough people around her that she feels would care about her death to kill herself.
I'm really worried about her because she's off traveling around the country before school and she might not find people who give a crap about her at school. She also has a huge mistrust of authority, including psychiatrists (again, rough childhood). I don't think she believes she can solve her problems, especially her medical problems, so she doesn't want to live a long life because she thinks it would be full of pain and people abandoning her.
I try my best to be a good friend to her, to give her a reason to stick around a little longer, but I have no idea how to help her with her problems, if they can be helped.
Any advice?
TL;DR: | Friend lives in constant state of pain, wants to kill herself because she has no hope for the future, doesn't trust psychiatrists. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Should I [19F] take a job that I know I'm going to quit in a couple of months?
POST: I've been working in a call centre for a massive international company on and off since October, through a temporary worker's agency. I worked there for 2 months over Christmas, a week over Valentine's Day, and most recently three and a half months following Mother's Day.
I recently applied for a permanent position at the company for the same job I'm doing now. I was unofficially offered one of several job vacancies this morning as the interviewing process is still ongoing. The formal offer will follow in about two weeks from now.
I'm leaving in September to go to university. The company have kept me on as a temporary worker following Mother's Day but, as a temp, you never know which shift will be your last. I'd be happy to stay as a temp but I could really do with the security. I'm saving money for uni as my parents are on low incomes.
There's loads of agency staff at this company who've been working there years and would love this opportunity for a permanent position. I kinda feel like a massive bitch for taking this opportunity away from someone who really wants/needs it. On the other hand, the company has treated me and thousands of other agency staff like shit, so I feel no guilt whatsoever in that regard.
Guys, what should I do :'( I love my coworkers and I love my job, and this is the first lucky break I've had since starting my gap year in August. I have applied for hundreds of jobs and been rejected for every single position, so I'm really happy for this offer. But I can't help but feel that maybe it's too close to uni starting for me to accept this...
TL;DR: | I have been offered a job, that many other people want/need more than me, that I'll need to leave in about 3 months for uni. Should I take it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: My buddy is dating his cousin and keeps asking me if I'm supportive of them, what am I supposed to say!?
POST: So my friend of many years met a first cousin of his for the first time about 6 months ago. They have been seeing each other for a while now and it seems like things are starting to get pretty serious (to quote Kip). He keeps asking me pretty aggressively if I think there's anything wrong with that and I always tap dance my way into giving a half answer.
Recently he kept it up and I cracked and admitted that I thought it was strange but it wasn't like I wouldn't attend their wedding or anything. He seemed a little hurt and switched subjects.
Does anyone else think this is strange? He says he has told a few of his social circle and lots of people have no problem with it. I just keep thinking of ME dating MY cousin and how extraordinarily weird that would be! I know it's much more common world-wide than it is in the states, but I don't know how to tell him that his new cousin/girlfriend gives me the jibblies.
The real tragedy of this is that he has never watch Arrested Development, and has no idea why I keep asking him how "Le Cousins Dangereux" is going.
TL;DR: | My good buddy is dating his first cousin, and I feel strange about it. He keeps asking me my opinion. How does the hive mind feel about cousin love? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My military career and my girlfriend [need advice]
POST: Hey guys, how ya doin? I'm going to try and make this short and to the point
My girlfriend [23] and I [24] have been together for 8 months. I recently swore into the Navy and I leave aug 8th. In the last two weeks her attitude has changed, she is shut down and being cold towards me. We try to see each other as much as possible to help easy things with our love but nothing seems to work. I ask her what I can do to fix things but all of her options are irrational (I.e. running away, getting married, moving in for four months w/ her 6yr old daughter)
If I can make things work I want to but she won't give me the fighting chance. She tells me she can't talk to me about the navy because I'm part of that problem. I don't know if she's seeing someone else or what is going on. All I know is she is pushing away and acting distant.
Reddit, any help would be welcomed, opinions good or bad, advice... anything.
TL;DR: | leaving for the navy in 4 months, girlfriend whom I love acting distant and cold, says I can't do anything to fix it. She's shutting down. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My[F18] boyfriend[M18] of 2 and a half years is moving to university in a couple weeks, are things going to be okay?
POST: So my boyfriend is incredibly excited about university and I am really proud of him and I'm picturing me being there at his graduation and I'm happy he is happy. But.. I'm also terrified, we are about to become a LDR, sure we can see eachother occasionally but it's going to be really hard and I'm scared he finds someone better than me at university and starts to drift away from me and then we all know what would happen next. Can anybody tell me that I am being silly and that everything is going to be okay? I also have no friends, he's my only friend, my best friend I love him so much it's going to be so lonely when he leaves all my time will consist of is going to work and coming back home and spending all my non working time alone. I feel really selfish and I made him get mad at me when I told him how I felt, I probably should of expressed more of how proud I was of him but he said that everyone except me is really happy for him when I should be the one who's the happiest.
TL;DR: | My boyfriend is leaving for university and I'm terrified or this ruining our relationship because I won't be able to see much of him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by making a $3000 bill out of a $175 bill
POST: Actually screwed up last week, but just found out today. Started going to college on the 20th at a really nice school. I'm in the military so I should be getting tuition assistance. Only thing is, it turns out that when you are starting class in the military, you have to first fill out a forum asking for permission to begin a degree program, THEN fill out a different forum right before class starts to get approved for tuition assistance. I figured they were both part of the first process and didn't look into it further until my school asked for the tuition assistance letter. Went to get it and it informed me that I needed to start the tuition assistance paperwork prior to starting the class. The school I'm going to has a scholarship that would have covered most of the remaining cost, but it requires me to have tuition assistance. Now instead of paying around $250 for fees and books, it's around $3000, due in full around October. Guess that'll be a good time to make my most expensive credit card purchase yet!
TL;DR: | Tried going to school while in the military. Screwed up tuition assistance. Now I have to come up with a way to pay $3,000 instead of $250 by the end of class. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [F/23] am currently talking to [M/21] who I really like, but I've never been in a long-term relationship before.
POST: I started talking to this guy back in early April and we're still talking. He's had a long term relationship before and my longest relationship was like 5 months. I don't know how to love someone (like in a romantic way), and I'm not sure if I'm doing this right. It's not like I can just pick up a book and learn it, but I really do like him and I've never felt this way about any of my previous relationships before. I can see myself spending a lot of time with this guy in the future and I get pretty sick and tired of people easily, but for some reason I can't get enough of him. I guess part of it is crushing/getting to know someone for the first time, but another part of me feels like it could develop to be more than that. But I don't know what to do and how to make him feel loved but he seems to give me attention all the time and make me feel really special. How do I do this right?
TL;DR: | I'm a late bloomer who has never loved anyone other than her family and friends. How do I do this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25F] with guy I'm currently seeing [30 M] the last 5 months, he's upset I mention my past "all the time" - What is too much?
POST: Currently seeing a guy that I get along great with, we rarely disagree, and things are comfortable. Today, I made a comment in passing to some friends about a guy I went on a few dates with being entered in a most eligible bachelor contest. I later received a text from my guy saying "I'm not worried, but honestly getting a little tired of you talking about guys from your past all the time" I simply replied with "all the time?" I explained I didn't feel it was a constant thing and never anything directed to him specifically, but in situations where we are in group settings.
---
To add, we were both in long term relationships (2+ years) with other people when we met, and ended those shortly before getting together, and my ex has definitely been discussed amongst us, but that contact has since ceased, and he is blocked from my phone. I am honest about getting texts from other men with the guy I am seeing, because I don't want him to ever think I am hiding things from him. We both moved to a different state than where we are from, and the guys from my past are all still there.
----
Also, we both have "pasts". He has a string of former girlfriends and flings, and I have mine too. I don't understand why he seems to get so upset. I told him today that since he brought it to my attention, I would be more considerate in the future. I don't feel I've brough guys up regularly other than to be like "so and so texted me." or similar things.
----
How much is **too much** of the past? Am I supposed to never bring things up? Not even in passing?
TL;DR: | Seeing someone for 5 months that is tired of me bringing up guys from the past, I don't feel it's often. What's the policy on this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (25/f) husband (26/m) just nonchalantly told me that he felt duped by my photos.
POST: Well, yeah the title. We dated for 3.5 years and been married for 2 months. We met online. I sent him a bunch of photos when we were talking, but we also used FaceTime daily. The photos I sent were not photoshopped or even edited. No filters. No special angles. When we met, there were no issues and he never brought up feeling tricked into meeting me. To be clear, this isn't a weight issue. I'm very thin and my photos portrayed that accurately. I guess he just means my face.
We were having dinner and talking about how his nephew told him he met his girlfriend online. He said how he wouldn't really suggest meeting people that way. I said "well, that's hypocritical considering you're married to someone you met online". He replied with "yeah, but even you duped me by your photos. You're good at taking them". I don't even know what to say. I didn't say anything. I just got up, put my dishes in the sink, and went in the bedroom. He came in a few minutes later asking what's wrong. I told him and he said not to take it sensitively but he did mean what he said. That he loves me regardless. Well, I am taking this sensitively. The only negative thing he ever brought up about my appearance was that sometimes I'm lazy. I'll go to the store in my glasses and sweats. I also don't wear makeup.
I'm not sure how to approach this or if I even want to. Should I just let it go?
TL;DR: | My husband told me that I duped him by my photos when we first met. It hurt my feelings and he just says not to worry about it. I don't know how to let this go or how to approach this. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 M] with my GF [20 F] of 4.5 years just broke up and I don't know what to do
POST: So my now ex-GF just broke up with me today, and I don't know how to go forward. So, we've had a VERY strong relationship, but have NEVER been a sexual couple for the most part. This was because my SO had sexual issues in her past that caused her emotional trauma. So, today after 4.5 years and literally no heads up or even signs of wanting to break up, she tells me that she thinks it would be best for the both of us if we broke up. She said that because she isn't into sexual things and is put off by even the slightest sexual instigation, she thinks it isn't fair to me (which I told her I didn't care if I could never have sex again, I just wanted to be with her) and she said that its not fair to her because she feels guilty and bad about the fact that she can't accept something that's so normal and healthy in a relationship.
I'm literally crushed because I love this girl with every ounce of my being. I am that guy you hate because he's always attentive to his GF and I literally lived to make her happy. But she basically said "I just want to take a break and then in a little while see where I'm at". But then an hour ago she deleted our Anniversary from Facebook. She's not a social media consumed person so she only does stuff when its serious. So I feel like she basically just said, "We're done".
So now I don't know what to do. I love love love this girl and now without any forewarning, she just blindsides me. I am so angry, I want to die, and I don't know what to do. I'm not going to kill myself, but I just don't feel like moving, operating, living. I just feel like I was hit by a truck. What do I do? I'm angry at her now that it just seems like our 4.5 years together were just for nothing, but I feel like I'll just unleash my anger and say bad stuff and become that shitty ex-bf that said mean things when we broke up. I just don't know how to handle or address the situation.
TL;DR: | My gf of 4.5 years ended our relationship out of nowhere, and I'm really upset. How do I talk to her, or address the situation? I am very sad and upset. She was my life. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My gf (28) asked for space and is consistently bitter, angry and downright mean to me but wants me to stay with her awhile I look for a place to live. What should I do?
POST: My gf (28) and I (29) have been dating long distance for 19 months, together for almost two years. Its been very very very hard.
Last month after she visited for a week and she asked for some space bc she thought we grew apart, which I gave her, and is starting to hate me for leaving her so long. However, I'm moving back in less than a month (she has known this for 5 months). Thinking she would be excited about the move back, she is very bitter, angry and downright mean and still wants some space. I'm assuming this relationship is over. However, she said she would pick me up from the airport and said I could stay with her until I find a place to live (she knows my brother lives in the same town). There seems to be alot of mix signals from her. I would like to keep this relationship alive. What should I do? Stay with her? How do I give her space if she said I could stay with her?
TL;DR: | My gf (28) asked for space and is consistently bitter, angry and downright mean to me but wants me to stay with her awhile I look for a place to live. What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I'm having a serious wart outbreak on my hands, about 25 over the last six months. I need some help!
POST: I've hand a plantar wart on the inside of my left hand for a few years, but a few months ago they started appearing all over both my hands. I'm starting to lose count, but the current total is about 25 warts over the last six months! Wart types have been a combo of plantar (the ones that grow in) and the other kind (that grow out), most of them appearing on the knuckles and all over my thumbs.
Treatment so far: I got tired of shelling out heaps of cash to get them burned with liquid nitrogen at the doctor, so I've started self treating with canned Dust Cleaner. If you hold the can upside-down you can release the fluid slowly and get approximately the same effect as the doctor's stuff. The salicylic acid didn't work at all. The warts were literally outgrowing the pace of the acid treatment.
My self treatment has worked pretty well, except I can't get rid of the original plantar wart (it's big). Anyone ever dealt with this before? I'm tired of my hands looking absolutely f*cked. I need help!
TL;DR: | Been getting about 1 new wart per week for the last 6 months. Burning them off works, but isnt stopping new ones from appearing. help! |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I'm a panicking student: Want to switch into pre-med but have rubbish marks in Engineering.
POST: Hello Reddit,
I got accepted into a top 10 engineering school, and was ecstatic. I wouldn't even be in the core engineering program, I even got into an advanced program where aerospace and nanotechnology were taught at the undergrad level.
I finished my first semester in December, and hated every minute of it. 80 hour weeks, insane pacing, and just a pile of theoretical math and math and math. While my program had an admission average of over 95%, the averages last semester were right on 3.0. I fell right near here. While I got a couple 90's in the classes I actually liked, I couldn't keep up with the 5 other math classes, and wound up with a 2.93, with a D+ dragging the whole average down.
I know I'm not an idiot, my SAT's and high school marks back that up, but I feel I cannot do as well here as I would like. I cannot keep up with the pace of some classes, and just have no interest in a lot of the material.
I was debating when I applied to University about whether to go into medicine or into Engineering, and think I made the wrong choice. I still love biology, I love the lab work that I have gotten to do, and think that is more where my interests lie. My school allows students to switch into Arts and Science, but I am very worried. This first year is still going to be on my transcript, and medical school admissions are extremely tight. I have already tried to see if I can retake the class I did worst in, or just restart from my first year and pretend this never happened, but I cannot.
So, do I have any chance of getting into a good medical school if I switched into a biology degree from my second year on, with a first year GPA likely in the very low 3's, assuming I do very will in my upper years? Am I better off just switching schools entirely, possibly having to leave the country to get rid of that transcript, and taking my undergraduate elsewhere? Am I already screwed at this point?
TL;DR: | I think I might have fucked over my life by picking a tough engineering degree, hating it, getting a shitty GPA, and want to go to medical school. Worried that this will haunt me forever. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24 M/F] and my gf [22 M/F] of one year, kind of unsure what to do, sort of just need to get this off my chest.
POST: I've been dating the same girl for about a year and a half. At this point, I can still say truthfully that I love her, but we have been distant, in part because she is finishing up her last year(ish) of school, and I am already working in the city. We see each other once every 2-3 weeks.
However, there is another girl at my work who I have known for some time, that I am starting to develop feelings for, although I have never cheated on my gf with her.
Here is the kicker. My gf is going to study abroad for her final semester (4 months), and the non gf "friend" is moving away in August.
I feel like I am losing some very important people in my life, and there is nothing I can do. I really feel like I can't tell either girl the extent of the situation, because then I risk losing them both entirely.
Another issue is my pot use. I find that it helps with my depression, which I think is in part caused by the fairly consistent lack of female contact, and no means to get it without cheating. I normally like smoking, but I want to save the money instead.
I've told my gf that I need a break this fall, as I can't do 4-5 months of NO female contact whatsoever. She was upset, but asked if we could still keep in contact and I was thrilled and said of course.
I just feel really confused. Just typing this sort of helped, but I'm scared that I am going to lose people I care about.
TL;DR: | I have a gf and a "friend" that I have feelings for, and will probably lose them both and I turn to drugs to cope. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [19/M] Need advice about trying to mend relationship with [18/F]
POST: I met her three years ago. We were part of the same sport (coed team) in high school and became best friends. After two years as best friends we began dating. We dating through the summer last year and then through the fall/winter/spring in a long distance relationship, seeing each other over breaks and an occasional visit at school (we were 6 hours apart and I had no car).
Last week she broke up with me saying that she felt the need to be independent and that she found herself constantly wanting to make decisions for herself and that it wasn't fair to me. She also said that she was happy when she was with me, but not overall. She said that she still loves me romantically as well.
I still love her and would like to try to work things out.
I'd like to hear what your advice for my situation is. Thanks.
TL;DR: | she broke up with me a week ago to be more independent, we both still love each other, not sure if she wants to continue the relationship but I want to try to give it a shot. advice please |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [33 F] with my SO [37 M] almost 4 years and this looks like the end...
POST: He swept me off my feet. I was visiting the small country town where he lived and we hit off big time. It was a country races event in regional NSW and I was so very happy to meet him.
Since then, we've tried to keep the momentum going but it's been hard. He suffered a massive heart attack in 2011 and since then, things have changed. I moved out to be with him prior to his heart attack and, despite all the hometown country claustrophobic warnings that he was a ladies man and not one for settling, we made a good fist of it. This past year, since we've moved to the coast to be closer to his family (where he grew up), things have been strained.
In March of this year, he went off the deep end - went out to a bucks party and then didn't come home. I called everyone he was with, all of his family called him and he wouldn't answer his phone for anyone. We got the police involved because it was highly unlike him to not answer his phone. Turns out, he got super drunk (and drugged, definitely not in his nature and I don't think it was his choice as he is super anti-drugs) and went to a brothel and slept with a prostitute. Twice. This is what he told me but there are more than $4000 worth of charges from that night.
Eventually he came home and eventually he confessed to one hour with a prostitute. Eventually the credit card statements came in and showed a different story. He is adamant that it was only one hour.
Things weren't going well in our relationship. The week before, I kissed another guy on a hen's weekend - directly after, I told him and don't expect any forgiveness for what I did.
However, I can't forgive his actions (and he lied about it for a week before coming clean). What do I do now?
TL;DR: | Started like a fairytale but soured fast. We get along so well but I can't forgive his vengeful actions. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: I'm failing school, and everytime I start to pass something else makes me fail. Is it me or the task?
POST: I'm only a sophomore in high school, really organized, and easily interested. However a cancel of that is i'm also ADD. I'm constantly missing assignments and failing tests. Before tests, I understand everything. I could explain it to a 6 year old if i wanted to. The day of the test, my mind just goes utterly blank and i'm forced into using whats there on the paper. As for missing assignments, The only time i ever get to do them is taken up by yet another assignment. It's ruining my grades, frustrating me and I'm afraid it's gonna end up ruining my social life.
What is something I can do to understand everything and get it done right the first time? I know, simply serious-the-fuck-up and get it done. but it's not that easy for me. Everyone i know is passing grades and keeping an awesome schedule, i'm busting my ass to keep a 80 or sometimes a 70 in most of my classes with no time to spare.
TL;DR: | I'm having trouble in school while all my friends are passing with ease, and I don't want the rest of my life to be this difficult. How do I stay on top of things? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [20/F] girlfriend to [24/M]. My boyfriend of one year still watches porn. Not sure if this is ok?
POST: Is it weird for me to feel uncomfortable with my boyfriend who still watches porn? He told me it's only natural and that I really should be ok with it, but deep down I'm really not. The thought that he's looking at other people having sex makes me feel like I'm inadequate or not providing him with interesting sexual experiences.
I'd also just like a guys perspective on the subject and whether I'm overreacting or being way too sensitive. I don't know whether that's the right perspective to have and was just looking for some advice on the matter.
I'm not sure whether this is ok since our sexual relationship is somewhat healthy. On the the other hand though it's hard for my boyfriend to stay hard, even when he's inside me. I've never had this problem with any other guy before. I feel like I'm at least competent at sex and whether this has something to do with porn or something I'm doing wrong?
TL;DR: | My boyfriend of one year still watches porn. I feel like I don't really like him looking and getting off to other girls. Is this ok? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Going after a family friend..
POST: First of all let me say that I'm a big fan of this subreddit! I like to contribute where I can and enjoy reading other contributions..
So I'm 26M and she is 25F, semi grew up together until maybe about 12 years old then didn't see her until my 21st. Our mums are best friends so there wasn't a complete lack of contact. Started to see her occasionally over the last few years at work(I work around a few pubs) and then one night we were both there and drinking and we hooked up(we were both smashed.) the next day after waking up together it was a bit awkward and kind of like 'did we kiss?!' then we kissed again and I can't help but over analyse that she was still a bit drunk. We had made plans to go out the following week(not classed as a date but I joked that it was) and we started with dinner with drinks and then went to a bar and well shortly after I tried to make a move at the bar and she pulled away and gave me "it's not a good time and what about our mums" which felt somewhat genuine rather than a generic brush off. She also said "maybe in the future" but I'm not sure if she meant that. It was awkward. But we still had a good night after that... Since then I've seen her maybe 10 odd times and we've had a great time together every time in my opinion...
We also both came out of serious long term relationships last year, her ex was very controlling and I know she is enjoying going out lots.
I don't know what to do. The thing is I actually really enjoy her company as a friend... I don't want to ruin anything by making unwanted advances or even flat out telling her. I personally think our family connection is an advantage but maybe she doesn't feel that way.
My best friend suggests to just go with the flow. I'm all for that but I'm worried it might get to a point where she won't see me in any other way than as a friend.
Any advice anyone has would be greatly appreciated
TL;DR: | Wanting to pursue a relationship with family friend that has kinda already turned me down- Don't want to risk ruining the friendship.. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Any redditor have or had experience with Clevo X7200 ?
POST: Dear Reddit,
I'm confused with Clevo X7200 configuration setup, upon choosing the choice of SLI 485M or CrossFire 6970m I get to choose whether or not I want an extra AC Adapter & Power Converter Box.
Unsure if I should add it or opt out, I called Sager, a tech guy said that with the CPU I chose (i7 960), there's no need to get the extra adapter.
Still unsure I called xoticpc, they replied that without the adapter there might be a possibility that only one ac adapter will not be able to hold the laptop hunger for power and turn itself off, he said that this might happen in case I run a benchmark and play a game. They also said that you plug both adapters simultaneously (?).
TL;DR: | So, I'm confused, should I or should I not choose the SLI with the additional AC Adapter & Power Converter Box? |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Account in Collections due to previous landlord who claimed I was driving his truck. What can I do?
POST: Two summers ago, I had a summer internship across the country, and I rented a house from a person in Washington state. I moved back to Tennessee in August after staying at his house that summer. Last week I logged into a credit score website to find a mark on my score due to an account in collections that had recently been associated to my credit score account. After some investigating, I found out that my landlord signed a 'declaration of truth' that I was driving his vehicle at the time that he received a camera-issued traffic citation. The court then assigned the ticket to my name and attempted to contact me at the previous address. I moved two months prior to them sending the letter, and I had my mail forwarded through the postal service. However, the letter was sent to the previous address and returned to the court. I never received any documentation until seeing the collections account and my subsequent investigation last week.
I spoke with him notifying him of the issue and that he would need to clear my name. Of course, he sounded dumbfounded that he had 'made that mistake' and he would take care of it. I am going to send him the collections information, and tell him to go to to the court and/or collections agency and clear my name through their records.
I have credit card receipts and papers from school that will be able to help me prove that I was living in Tennessee and did not make any transactions in Washington around that time period.
However, I am hesitant to believe that he will go to court and admit to perjury, which was the penalty for making false claims on the court's 'statement of truth' document. From my searches, it seems that perjury is a felony and has some harsh consequences.
What is the best thing for me to do? If I take him to court, what am I legally able to recover? I would have to pay for flight tickets from Detroit to Seattle, rental car or taxi fare, hotel room, food, lost time at work, attorney's fees, court costs, etc. Would I be able to recover all of this?
Please let me know any and all 'legal' advice!
TL;DR: | Previous landlord falsely claimed I drove his car during camera issued ticket. I was never notified until last week. Account now in collections. How do I clear my name and recover all costs associated with doing so? |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: [California] Friend's rental plumbing burst in kitchen, water is off, landlord says 'Stay in a hotel'
POST: Hey everyone! First off, thanks for any help and advice.
So the deal is my friend and his family rent a house from a property manager. They have been reporting issues with the plumbing to the manager for the past month, but nothing was done about it. 2 days ago, the pipe under the kitchen bust open, so the line was shut off. Manager finally sent out plumbers who said it will take weeks to fix, and water needs to remain off.
Ok, so friend informed the property manager and asks what he can do, to which the manager replied "Stay in a hotel until they are finished."
My question is this: is that legal? The property manager is under no obligation to assist them? I thought running hot and cold water were required by law to be provided in a rental? What immediate steps can be taken? Friend JUST paid rent, so he wont have money for a week.
TL;DR: | So, friend is living in a paid up rental with no running water due to plumbing failure and 2-3 week repair window. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Verizon canceled my FIOS account today without notice, told me I could keep my address and 4 years worth of emails for $20/mo. What do I do?
POST: Obligatory back story:
I have been a FIOS customer for 4+ years. Recently I moved to a temporary location for a few months (I didn't have a choice on the location) that does not have FIOS accessibility. I called Verizon and explained to the customer service representative what was happening and that I was worried about my email account not being accessible if I were to cancel my account. The representative replied, "No problemo, Mr. Loyal Customer!" and halted my billing cycle, ensuring me my emails were safe.
Fast forward to today, a few months later, and I received a phone call from a "specialist" in the "Service Fulfillment" department. He informed me that they will be canceling my account, today.
When I asked about my email account I was informed that it was going to be deleted so that the username would be available as soon as the cancellation processed, likely within 24-48 hours.
As I have 4 years worth of military, school, and work correspondence in that email account, I was frantic to figure out what to do.
I've been on the phone with various departments all throughout the day and no one will help me other than to point me at www.keepmyemail.com, a third party that charges $20/mo to secure the email address and all data associated with it.
Is there anything I can do to stop this or do I just have to accept my fate and pay the $20/mo?
The way this was handled does not seem appropriate.
TL;DR: | FIOS is canceling my account and deleting 4 years worth of vital emails tomorrow unless I pay a third party $20/mo. I am panicking and do not know what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me[17M] with my crush [17F] short time. is she lying in order to spare my feelings
POST: Ok so I met this girl about a year ago when my friends started flirting with her at the mall. I got her number and we started texting each other. We hung out a couple of times but after she told me she liked someone else we started to drift apart.
During the months that we didn't talk I changed a lot (e.g.) huge haircut, got a job, lost 10 pounds, joined the football team and more. A couple weeks ago we started talking again. I asked her out over text and she told me that she was flattered but she had broken up with her bf about 2 weeks ago. She told me she would keep my offer in mind when she was ready to date again. She finished off by saying " I'm just not into the whole dating thing yet" I told her I was sorry to hear that and that she should take all the time she needs. So my question is, does she like me, what can I do to show her I really care, and what should I say to her from now on. Thank you! :)
TL;DR: | girl i like just got out of a relationship, i told her i like her she said she needs some time, I dont know how to respond or act. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (17M) dad (53M) is pressuring my girlfriend and i to get her to go on the pill
POST: My girlfriend and i started dating a year and 4 months ago, 2 months ago we had sex and have had sex a few times since. Around 6 months before we first had sex my dad came to me and asked that i informed him when we did, at the time we thought this was a good idea because my dad seemed to be the only one of our parents that would react reasonably to this news and it would be good to have an adult that knows what is happening.
Skip forward to now, he sat me down and told me that she needs to be on the pill, (forgot to mention but we have used condoms every time we have had sex) this would be a very reasonable thing to happen, but for it to happen my girlfriend would need to tell her mum which she doesn't see as an option, as the mother is very uptight about the two of us having sex, i told this to my dad and he responded by saying that if my girlfriend didn't tell her mother he would.
Both me and my girlfriend feel this is incredibly inappropriate, this should be her decision to make when she feels ready, but ,e dad seems firm on this belief that this has to happen. What should i do?
TL;DR: | My dad believes that my girlfriend needs to be on the pill despite us already using protection and is willing to go directly to her mother should she not tell her herself. What should i do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [27M] with my ex gf [21F] of 1 year. she wants kids one day, I don't. I keep hearing how lonely I am going to be for it.
POST: so, her and I split up about 2 months ago now. I always knew she wanted kids and she's always known I was "on the fence" about kids. I eventually came to the conclusion that I don't want kids, so naturally I told her and a few days later after talking it out we split up. it hurts, like all hell. I expected it, telling her was one of the hardest things I've ever done, but I know it was the right thing to do. sorry, don't mean to ramble on like this, but I've heard from a lot of people how difficult it would be to find a woman that is willing to be with me that doesn't want kids.
I don't plan on changing my mind about it for the sake of being with someone, but I would love a girlfriend to share in all my adventures. but really guys..how screwed am I?
TL;DR: | broke up with my gf because she wants kids one day and I don't. how difficult is it to find someone not interested in kids?? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I feel like I'm living in a cliche 80's movie. any advice?
POST: What it boils down to is I'm struggling between the Mr. Non-commitment and My best guy friend.. however it gets a little more complicated.
Mr. Noncommitment and I worked together about a year ago- since then we've been having a open relationship of sorts. I immediately was attracted to him and since spending much time together I love the charming and clever aspects of him. I especially love that we share the same cynical outlook towards the rest of the world. I've never had so much chemistry with one person; we've spent many days just in bed together. However, whenever I point out that we've been seeing eachother for a year and would like to take things more seriously he says relationships put too much pressure on things and it would ruin all the fun we have together. Now I believe he doesn't date other girls, but we have a kind of "don't ask don't tell" policy so I can't be sure he hasn't slept with anyone else.
Very recently I've begun to have feelings for my best guy friend. While this would seem ideal, he is also my roommate. I know what a terrible idea it is to date someone you are living with along with the fact I don't want to ruin the friendship we already have. I (regrettably) told him one of how I felt and he expressed an interest in me too. Now, he left for Paris for the summer so I have a bit of time to think about what to do. But now I'm faced with the choice: do I ask him to find a new place to live so we can try dating or do I continue living with him and regard my feelings as superficial because he was leaving?
I really appreciate any thoughts guys. Thanks
TL;DR: | How do I choose between someone who doesn't want an official relationship but have amazing chemistry with and my closest guy friend who happens to be my roommate? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [30f] with my fwb [37 M], I'm confused about this situation, is he has feelings for me or just trying to be nice to me?
POST: I'm 30 and he is about 36, we meet 7 months ago. He is like an open book. First two dates just have dinner, walk around, talk about each other's life, but somehow from the third time we became like fwb.
We texted not everyday, but most time he initiated the conversation, and if I reply then he would text me back pretty fast. In the beginning we really were just like fwb, but slowly slowly we spooned after sex, tickled each other, asked me spend the night(used to be called the cab for sending me home, then text me make sure if I got home yet), went out for brunch or he bought me breakfast and made me some tea. And if he have a trip to other country, he'll buy me gifts..
I just wonder all those behaviors are normal fwb would do? or just me trying to find the meanings behind the behaviors which are probably means nothing..
I think I do have more and more feelings for him, but I don't have the guts to talk about what's the situation now.. or he just trying to be nice to me.. :')
TL;DR: | Is there any other way to see how he feels for me? I really don't want to just go with the flow.. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Does my 'friend' [20,F] still has feelings for me [21,M]?
POST: Basically, I have this individual that I've known for about 5-6 years. We hit it off well and developed feelings for each other, but couldn't go out due to her best friend being my ex.
Fast forward 4 years, we start to communicate again. We flirt, act like a couple, spend all our time together and travel out of state together. I actually had a chance to have sex with her. We were in our hotel (1 King bed) and she basically stripped down to her bra and understand because it was "too hot" while we were watching a movie. Foolishly, I thought that she still cared about the fact that I went out with her friend, and therefore, I did nothing. I find out from a mutual friend that this girl has feelings for me so I feel dumb
Present: She told me about this friends with benefit thing she's having with some dude. But still keeps in contact with me even though I don't put much effort in since most of my time is invested into my studies (busy busy)! The weird thing that sticks out to me is we still flirt like joking about having sex, getting married,etc. Or how when I ask her to hang out with me like get lunch or so,shes like "so its a date then :)." She wants me to spend her birthday with her.
Basically, does this mean she still has feelings towards me? She h
TL;DR: | Girl still flirts with me even though she has a thing with some dude. does this mean she still has feelings for me? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [21M] get jealous easily of my girlfriend [21F]. I need advice on this subject.
POST: My girlfriend dances as a full-time job. I was never the jealous "type" before I met her, but now it feels like stuff that shouldn't really hurt, actually does.
We're both incredibly devoted to our relationship and are constantly working to make each other as happy as can be. When I hear that she has to dance with some other guys for her job, my stomach drops and it hurts inside. It's just so ridiculous to me, not only because she only has to do a couple lifts and a waltz, but because the guy dancers are gay too. I hate that feeling so much, and it upsets her because it upsets me! Which makes it all the more worse.
It pains me because I know it's her passion and I never want her to feel like I want her to quit. I guess I should also mention that we're in a long distance relationship at the moment. I guess the root of all this is my underlying insecurities, and I know that. I'm just looking for advice on overcoming all of this. She is the most kind-hearted person I've ever met, and I just want her to feel comfortable working with her passion without worrying about how I feel about it. The thought of that just makes me so upset.
TL;DR: | I get jealous easy over stuff that I really shouldn't be jealous about, and I need words of comfort or advice on how to deal with it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Am I overreacting to this?
POST: Perhaps it's just because I have a final tomorrow at 11:30, it's 3:00 AM. but recently I've been going crazy over my suitemate situation.
So for the past couple months I've pretty much been in a shitty roommate / Suitemate situation. Mainly because of my suitemates late night habits. Almost every other night around 2-3 AM they start smoking for about half an hour in the bathroom, which is shared between me and my suitemates.
Now normally I wouldn't mind that much. But now it's getting to the point where they are bringing in LOTS of other people. Mainly because every night my suitemate's friend comes up from college park to sell trees to kids at my campus. Normally he stays the night and goes home early in the morning ~5AM. As a result, trying to sleep during those hours is next to near impossible. What's worse is that both me and my roommate have classes at 10Am every day. I've tried asking them to smoke elsewhere to no avail. I've gotten ignored every time.
What's worrying me and my roommate however is that their friends they bring in are pretty sketchy individuals and due to that, we're worried that people might be going through our stuff because some stuff looks tampered with over the weekends. (Stuff unplugged, but nothing missing)
It's gotten to the point where me and my roommate are starting to look at more serious alternatives.
Both me and my roommate considering trying to tell an assistant directories someone, to in short, get them kicked out of housing at least. We're both tired of their antics, especially during times like finals.
I just wanted to ask, is it too harsh? If so, are there any other alternatives?
TL;DR: | I'm considering emailing the community director about my sketchy suitemates, in an attempt to get them kicked out. Is there a better way to go about this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by accidentally drinking soap.
POST: Ok so I was washing my hands to take my contact lenses out. As anyone with contacts with tell you, you wash with soap prior to prevent infection.
Anyway, I press down on the soap and liquid cleanliness pours onto my hands. I do my thing and dispose of the lenses. Next I fill my pink ice-age cup up with water to drink from. I lift it up and notice a strange smell, like lavender... Nevertheless, I swallow my water and realize I've made a huge mistake. A huge glob of liquid cleanliness flew into the cup and mixed with the water to become an incognito concoction of lavender and H2O. It took several swigs of mouthwash to not be a soapy-breathing-dragon.
TL;DR: | Following eye-hygiene, ended up being a soapy-dragon with the cleanest teeth in all the land. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm an actor/comedian falling in love with a fan. How should I go about this?
POST: I'm not massively well known but this is a throwaway for privacy anyway.
When I [27M] was touring I met a fan [18F], 3 times on different occasions. As soon as I laid eyes on her my heart just skipped a beat, which was unusual as I've never experienced that before. We got talking and not only is she beautiful on the outside but also on the inside. I've never become so attached to somebody in such a short space of time before. I won't go into detail about our meetings but nothing overtly sexual happened, though we did become fairly close.
After I my last meeting with her, I followed her back on social media. She interacts with me and I see her posts and whatnot, but we haven't messaged each other; I am afraid of doing something I shouldn't, and perhaps we are both afraid of getting close to each other knowing that we would have a strenuous relationship. My career involves a lot of travelling and being away from home, and what's more, my home is no where near her (hence the meeting her on tour). Another thing is that there is an age gap of nearly 10 years between us, but this doesn't particularly bother me as we are both adults and we know our limits, but I am concerned that other people would be quick to judge.
She constantly shows an interest in me and I really want to talk to her properly again but I fear that I'll get too attached to her and then only get to see her once or twice a year. Naturally I know I should just move on but she's like sunshine to me, and I can't stop thinking about her. The more I see her online presence, the more I fall in love with her.
I feel stupid and I'm ashamed to tell my friends/family, but I need advice. Should I just message her, or should I get over it and move on? If the latter, how does one move on from someone quickly and quietly?
TL;DR: | I met a fan on tour. I'm convinced that I'm in love with her despite the ridiculousness of our situation. What do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: Losing my job today was the icing on the cake. (Rant)
POST: In the last month or so I seem to have been hit nonstop with problem after problem, and today really was just the topping on the shit cake.
To give a little context, about a month ago, I had to empty out my savings account to get the engine in my car worked on, which at the time really sucked but was no big deal because I still had enough money in my checking account to get my by and it did very well. However after that, for some reason still unknown to me a lot of my so called friends just started to disappear and not have a whole lot to do with me. That's happened before and I made new friends but it still hurts just the same. When most of my friends abandoned me, I at least could turn to my music as a way to keep myself motivated and occupied, but I soon hit a wall with my writing and performing abilities so that does me no good now. Three weeks ago due to the age and general wear and tear on my car a part of my transmission went out making it unable to be driven.Granted I have my co-workers to give me a ride, I still have a life outside of work and things to accomplish. And today, I lost my job which I was damn good at over a stupid mistake and a really uptight pissed off customer. It was my fault yes, but it was a genuine mistake, and I had a nearly flawless record as far as my customer interaction went but what happened left my superiors no choice but to terminate me. They didn't want to, I could tell. On top of all that, I don't have much money due to getting my transmission worked on and my rent is due in a week. I'm still practically a kid, and in college, so finding a part time job really fast is going to be exceedingly difficult. I just have to get that off of there. I'm not looking for a handout, I don't want to ask for help. Just had to get it off of my chest and if a few of my fellow Redditors want to lend some friendly advice or just encouragement I would more than welcome it.
TL;DR: | I'm 19, I got fired and have barely any money with my rent looming over head, and I'm facing being homeless. |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: Advice on new job start date. How to approach the topic at the interview.
POST: Hi all,
I am coming to the end of a PhD in computational bio mechanics and have applied for a junior developer position with a software company in the UK. While my PhD is not directly related to the job, I have the skill set for a junior position as well as great communication and problem solving skills I've developed over the last 4 years.
I aced the phone interview with HR 2 weeks ago where I proved my knowledge of company and interest in the position. I had my technical test and interview with the lead developers on Wednesday last week and the morning after I had great feedback that the developers enjoyed talking with me and invited me to a final interview with the director of R&D this coming Friday.
I feel I am a great candidate for the role and I believe the people I have spoken to at the company agree.
My biggest concern is when I can start the job. The earliest I can really start is the 1st of September, almost 4 months away. I mentioned this in my application and confirmed it during the phone interview; albeit mentioned that I could potentially start a little earlier if absolutely necessary. I also confirmed 1st September in the second interview where they assured me that it is just so they have an idea of where I'll best fit in to their plans.
The company intends to scale up a lot over the next year (100+ people in all fields) so I don't know when how many junior developer positions they want filled and by when. I have been hoping my delayed start date shouldn't affect my chances of getting the job too much but I am a worrier and and I really want to know if it is a point of contention or not. Should I bring it up in the interview with the director on Friday? I was thinking I could express my excitement for the position, hence why I put an application in as soon as I saw the posting. I'd make him aware that I know 4 months is a long time that I would give an earlier date if I could. Then finally mention my concern that about losing the job due a restrictive start date.
Sorry for the rambly post. I'm just getting a little bit nervous right now.
Cheers.
TL;DR: | How do I approach the concern about the fact I cannot start the job for about 4 months in my interview on Friday? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: This girl wants to "hook up" with me but I'm not one bit interested. What should I do?
POST: So I met this girl one evening at a small show in a town right next to mine. She was nice and all but then I had to leave and I forgot about her. She seemed quite interested in me because she kept standing next to me and looking at me. Anyways, she found me on facebook yesterday (we met a month ago), and she want's to "hang out" with me. I'm really not interested in her, but I couldn't tell her that I don't want to hang out, so I said "maybe one of these days"...anyways, now apparently we are supposed to go out this Saturday. Fortunatly, I asked her if it's ok to bring some friends and she said yes (now I just hope they agree to come aswell), but either ways, I want to know how I can make her understand that I'm not interested without telling her directly.
TL;DR: | This girl wants my dick but I don't want to give it to her, so I want to know how I can make her understand that without telling her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/needadvice
TITLE: My girlfriend's parents kicked her out of the house and threw away her belongings. What should she do?
POST: Hi R/Advice,
My girlfriend is 22, and has been living at a co-worker's house for about four months now. Four months ago, after a domestic dispute, her alcoholic mother told her that she was no longer welcome at their house anymore and that she had to find someplace else to live. Her solution was to take two suitcases of clothes/necessities and stay with a co-worker until she could either go back to her parents or find an apartment of her own. Her legal address is still her parents' house.
Last night, while her parents were still on vacation, she went back to the parents' house to see if she could pick up the rest of her possessions, but found her bedroom completely empty; the bed, all her clothes, jewelry, small pieces of furniture, etc—everything had been removed. Today, my gf spoke to her mother and found out that all of her things had been thrown out as garbage over the last two months. She was given no prior notice nor any sort of warning from her parents that her possessions were to be trashed.
So, R/Advice, what should she do? My first thought was to file a police report. Would that be useful in a domestic case like this? I'm not really sure about the best course of action here, so any help would be appreciated.
Thanks,
Cthulhusandwich
TL;DR: | My gf's entire bedroom's worth of possessions were thrown out maliciously by her crazy, unstable parents while she had been living with a co-worker for the last 4 months. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [27M] have a rough time getting over my Ex [23F] of many years.
POST: I met my Ex when she was still very young, we slept together when she turned 18 and saw each other on and off for years building a emotional bond until we started really going steady for a year up until June of 2015.
Both of us are finishing up our studies at competitve schools a couple hours from each other. Last year it became really diffictult to see each other on a regular basis. We still would text each other everyday and even had conversations about the future and what might happen wih us.
Eventually the conflicts that arose from the distance led us to break up with the fear that we would be doing a diservice to each other. That it might be easier if we had some wiggle room, we agreed to stay friends.
I haven't seen her since we broke up.
My friends were good about trying to make me feel better and encouraged me to refrain from seeing her for awhile to lessen the burden. I complied, took a few girls on dates, but I still feel miserable.
I can't find a connection, still think about her daily, and I can't listen to certain songs because it reminds me of her too much. I've texted her trying to convey the message that I'm not having a good go of this and that I still miss and love her very much but she (being smart and in a field specializing in word usage) constantly avoids the subject of love or even remotely sharing the same feelings.
Right now I don't know what to do. i just came back from a vacation with my extended family where everyone asked about her and the feelings are overbearing. I saw a post of her on instagram with another guy and just about lost it.
I'm sorry for the wall of text, I just really need some strong advice.
TL;DR: | [m27] saw a girl [f23] for many years and can't shake the feels. Halp. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19M] with my girlfriend [22F] of a few months - she was confident about her small breasts and now she won't let me see or touch them
POST: I've recently started seeing a really pretty, really sweet, fun, just overall awesome girl. She's petits with wide hips, long legs, perky little tits, long hair and a really sweet ass. We met a few weeks ago and hung out at school and then this past Friday was our first date. I thought it went well, but last night I get messages from her saying that a few times when I joked about her breasts it was hurtful. We have a mutual friend that I saw her joking about them with so I thought it was okay. She explained that it's because she doesn't like this other friend sexually and doesn't care if he likes her body or not. We made up and I thought it was okay.
Here's where it gets rough. She has sent me a lot of nudes since we got together. Today I asked for a topless pic and she said "No, not until you learn to appreciate them." Then she told me that she doesn't know when she'll feel like having them touched again and mentioned that she "could get anyone she wants" from our friend group. Before we got together she was with a guy for over two years who she says used to look at porn all the time but she had to beg him to touch her, so I get that her chest makes her insecure.
I feel bad. I get that I fucked up, but how bad?
TL;DR: | Made jokes about gf's boobs, apologized and explained I like them, now she won't let me see or touch them. How bad did I fuck up, Reddit? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24m] with my g/f[23F] 6 years with a short break, what happened during the break is now haunting us (2nd update)
POST: Getting into couples counseling is a lot harder and more expensive than I thought. The soonest anyone could get us in was almost 2 months. So at the advice of her parents we chose to go to her family church's counselor.
Right up front I am skeptical because I have no idea what to expect but I am not religious and honestly she isn't either. So I wasn't sure if we were going to get a full blown bible study or something. We went to our first meeting with him and honestly he was the most laid back, casual and supporting guy I've ever met. He told us right up front that while he wanted to be open and honest about his faith, that he did not use it in his counseling sessions unless both members were practicing members of their faith (which we are not).
We both were nervous in there but ultimately he really made us both at ease and we opened up pretty fast. Obviously one session is not going to solve our problems at all but I honestly felt so much better having someone to talk to that I can't even tell you how relieved I am.
As for us, it's been a little bumpy with her crying every now and then but it's less each day. We've been open and talking with each other and she now knows how I had months of every time I closed my eyes that I would see her with him, which she did not know (I never told her). I told her this after she said she had a couple of nightmares of me holding another woman.
But we've also had some fun times together, last week I took her to an antique mall that she loves and bought her some things she wanted and we had a really nice meal and a quaint little diner and we held hand all during dinner.
I wanted to thank everyone who has read any of these. I know that a lot of you think really lowly of me but I appreciate the advice that I got and I believe that she and I can move forward.
TL;DR: | Had to go to a church counselor ended up being not a bad experience. We've been more open and talking and we had a really romantic day together last week. I hope this is the end. |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: Mental Sabotage
POST: Hey everyone! I wasn't sure where best to post this, but hopefully someone can give me insight :)
I'm F, almost 23, 5'2" and an embarrassing 175lb (maybe 180, I've been too afraid to get on the scale). I am the heaviest I've ever been and it's taking a toll on my self esteem. I **hate** having my picture taken because it makes me face how big I've gotten. My boyfriend (10 months) says he loves my body and has never made me feel bad about it, but that's also because he hadn't seen me when I wasn't this heavy.
I don't have any health issues from this, but I definitely don't want to let it get that bad. I WANT to lose weight, realistic goal for 150, ideal weight maybe 135-140.
My problem is I feel like I mentally sabotage myself and I lose the will to try. For example when I think about exercising, I'm like "Yeah! I can do the elliptical for a while, that's not bad", but then then I think of how burning 300 calories might only negate one meal out of 3 and that's still twice as many meals adding to my weight. At that point I feel like "what's the point?"
Also, I am the person advertising companies aim for. I get "visually hungry" when I see commercials and advertisements. Pinterest is *baaaad* for me. Usually unless I *just* ate, I'll feel hungry/snacky if I see an ad for (Fast Food Name) which doesn't make sense because I don't eat out all that often (I love cooking at home). But seeing the food makes me want to have a certain taste in my mouth so I'll find something similar at home and bored-munch.
TL;DR: | This feels like a stupid rant with me making excuses, but I want to break this unhealthy mentality. Has anyone else had something similar to this? How did you stop sabotaging yourself? Any and all help is greatly appreciated! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [20M] best friend [19M] of 5 years, and his girlfriend of nearly 2 years [23F] have an unhealthy relationship. Worried about him
POST: Hi, this isn't really about me but about my close friend who I know and love like a brother. Shortly after his 18th birthday he began dating someone online, from Washington state (we're on the east coast). Previously he had been talking online with this girl before he turned 18, and I talked with her a few times and she seemed nice enough.
However, they're coming up on two years at this point and I'm really worried about him. Before they were dating we would always hang out and play football/watch television/play video games, typical friend stuff. But now he is completely at her beck and call, one text from her and he'll ditch everyone. Sometimes I don't see him for days at a time because he's waiting on her online.
I feel I should take a break to note that he has never met her in person. They FaceTime and text, but don't actually meet up.
But what I think is the worst is his mood. He's always had depression, I helped convince him to get help in the first place. But ever since he's started dating her his mood seems to be worse than usual. Worse than that, whenever he's feeling down she gets really weird, saying that he's not responding to her (due to the fact he's sleeping for 18 hours due to aforementioned depression) and she thinks he hates her now. She also has to point out how depressed SHE is whenever he tries to talk about his depression, and generally tries to make the conversation about her.
I'm really worried that he's in over his head here. She is the first person he's ever dated so I'm not sure if he knows what is ok or not in a relationship. But I'm also worried about saying anything, because I know she'll try to make me out to be the bad guy and have him cut all ties with me, which I don't want since he's like my little brother. Reddit, what should I do?
TL;DR: | My best friend since junior high is in an unhealthy long distance relationship, and I don't know how to help him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: (x-post from /r/relationship_advice) [21M] My bisexual girlfriend [21/f] of 6 months told me she has a crush on another lady from work. Don't how to handle the situation...
POST: Okay, so yesterday I invite my girlfriend to sleep over and we're just talking about this and that and she tells me that she has a crush on a co-worker. Now, I know that they've become good friends since they met like a month ago, and I've never been threatened by any of her friendships before, but this time it was different. She mentioned something along the lines of her having that certain desire to be with another lady again. But it's not like she said this directly to me, it was still all part of the conversation, and said it like she genuinely wanted my advice. At the moment, I didn't see it that way. I don't really handle stressful or emotionally-alien situations too well, so when she told me that, I kinda got all quiet and introvert-y (as I usually do when confronted with these emotional and personal situations). She then told me that I shouldn't take it so seriously, and if I'm going to react like this, she won't be coming to me for emotional advice all too often. Kinda feel like I screwed up on this one. We usually get along, no fights or anything, so the whole conversation was strange; the rest of the evening got really awkward, for that matter.
This morning I apologized for my reaction (or lack of reaction, for that matter), and she said that I can be really difficult to deal with when I act like that. Kinda feel like I screwed up. Any advice on how I should proceed from here? Like, I'm perfectly okay with them hanging out and being close friends and everything... It's the 'crush'/attraction part that bothers me.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend told me about a crush, I had an emotional shut-down, don't know how to handle it going forward. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Going into undergrad with 100k in savings
POST: I've been lurking this subreddit for a while, but I thought it might finally be time to ask for some advice.
I'll just recently graduated from high school, and I'll be attending a top three (HYP) ivy league in the fall. Over the past year I've been earning around 15-20k a month from an internet business/app that I set up. Without giving away too much about it, it seems like something that would last for the next 2-3 years and then I would have to move on.
I paid off my parent's car, and have enough to pay off the remainder of their mortgage-- but I want to start doing things for myself too. I feel like I'm way to young to start investing into an IRA, and I've tried my hand (unsuccessfully) at stocks.
I always thought I wanted to do computer science, since I spend most of my time on a computer for the websites I run--but I came to the realization that I'm not a very good coder and that I'd much rather outsource the bits of programs that I do need.
My parents are traditional asians who wish for their son to be a doctor. The school I'm attending almost guarantees admission into medical school (which I could probably pay off if my internet business continues) but I don't know if I want to work that hard for the next decade.
Another option would be investment banking. Both fields pay a lot, but I feel like medicine is the more secure path (also parent pleasing). What would you do in this case? What kind of salaries would I be looking at starting out as an investment banker from a top college, and would it be enough to offset the medical path?
Another issue I've been having is focusing on school work. I have great work ethics that got me into college but I feel like I've been investing too much time into running the online business. What are some ways to focus on my education instead (which will be needed if I go into medicine)?
TL;DR: | Have a good income for my age and going to a great college but want a high paying job in the future in case business doesn't last forever--advice? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20M] might gain confidence, but become completely apathetic to other people.
POST: Hi. This is my second post on this subreddit. While they cover similar themes, I'm not going to file this under an update.
I'm currently a junior student at a college. Throughout my life, I dealt with confidence issues and difficulty socializing. I don't have any strong friends and have never even dated. And now that I'm in college, I feel completely invisible. Nobody initiates anything in my life.
During this weekend, I kind of broke down to some online friends. None of them seemed that willing to help, or interested whenever or not I'd stay or leave. I went swimming for 2 hours to relieve tension. It really helped, and I felt more talkative.
But here is the cruel scenario. Without my confidence, I was essentially ignored. If I am able to make progress with my confidence, it would just prove that no one gives a shit about the pathetic. And if people without any kind of confidence can't find even basic forms of love...*I will be completely and utterly apathetic*. Happier, but secretly thinking people as subhuman, only there for my pleasure and pass the time.
I don't want to change like this. I just want to be me and be loved. Not even on a romantic level! Just someone who cares, and would miss me when I'm gone. Should I try to stay closer to me, or throw the towel? How can one possible forgive people and take their love after being ignored for years?
TL;DR: | College dude with confidence issues. I may gain confidence, but at the cost of hating humanity forever. What should I do? Am I wrong? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [25M] About to leave for a 2-week vacation after a first date [24F]. How much communication is enough/too much?
POST: Hey Reddit, so I just went on a first date last night with a girl that I met through OKCupid. She was really awesome, and I'm pretty sure I didn't make too bad of an impression myself ;) It was a pretty short date, just an hour and change over dinner, mostly because I panicked after leaving the restaurant and couldn't think of anything to do afterwards except walk her to her car.
Anyway, I really liked her, but it was a bit awkward in terms of timing since I'm leaving for a two-week vacation on Thursday, so I won't get to see her again until I get back. We already agreed to hang out again when I get back, so I guess my question now is: do I text / message her over okc while I'm in Europe, or just wait until I get back to contact her?
I don't want to seem clingy since we've literally only met an hour, and I'm not entirely sure what I would even text her about while I'm there (maybe just a "thought you might find this entertaining" type text as a "thinking of you" sentiment?), but two weeks seems like a long time to not be in contact and I don't want her to feel like I'm ignoring her or that she's forgettable.
What do you guys think? I'm pretty sure there's no "right" answer, but it would help me a lot to get some opinions!
TL;DR: | Just started dating a girl and about to go on a trip; not sure how to walk the line between clingy and negligent. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, did you have an "annoying childhood friend" while growing up? What did they do that was so annoying? Did you ever confront them?
POST: When I was in the third grade, there was this boy who always wanted to play at the playground or whatever at summer day camp. He was about a year or two older than me. He was always the best of anything. If we pretended to play pokemon, he would have the better ones, or if something wasn't going his way while we were playing basketball, he would create a new rule or start a new game of something else. Eventually I got tired of him and told him I didn't want to play with him that day. He then ran away and cried behind the slides. For the next 3 months I completely ignored him. It was the last day and school was about to start up again. He offered me a free video game if I started talking to him again, so obviously I did for the last 3 hours of camp. We bid farewell and said we would see each other next year. Yeah right.
TL;DR: | Older kid at camp was a jerk, I ignored him, he cried, 3 months later we "became friends again," never saw him again. |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Band offered studio time from website for winning online poll, but the site has since gone back on their word and not delivered
POST: Hey all,
Bit of a tricky situation here, but I'll do my best to be clear. My band was nominated in an online poll on a music website. We were told in an email that if we won, we would win time in a professional studio to mix a new song we have recorded. Upon winning the poll, we reached out to both the website and the audio engineer who would have worked with us.
The audio engineer responded to my email saying he hasn't worked with the website for months. He explained to them that he was moving to another city and wouldn't able to sponsor the polls anymore. He told me he's baffled they are still promoting their site and poll with his name affiliated, and that he was sorry for the miscommunication.
I emailed the editor in chief of the website detailing my frustration and demanding an explanation. He wrote back saying he was aware of the engineer leaving, but that he and his team neglected to update the nomination email which contained the details the prize—studio time for mixing a song. He apologized, and then offered me a pair of headphones as a "replacement." I denied, and said we were only interested in receiving the prize we were offered for winning, and that we drove hundreds of people to their website for free traffic expecting that we would be rewarded with the studio time. He then replied to me saying he couldn't offer the mixing, and that was the last I heard from him.
I'm angry because it's obvious they used us for a boost in web traffic, and they've likely done this to other bands/musicians because they have two polls a month. Is there any action I can take, or is this just a wash? Would it even be worth taking action if there's anything we can do?
Thank you for reading.
TL;DR: | Band was offered free studio time by a website for winning a poll. Audio engineer who'd work with us left months ago—the website knew but offered the prize anyway knowing they couldn't deliver. Now they won't honor their word. |
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