jamesliu23/simpsons · Datasets at Hugging Face

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Michael Jackson!
We've just been handed a bulletin from our Rock 'N' Rumor Department.
That's right, Michael Jackson -- the Thriller himself -- is moonwalkin' his way right here to our very own Spring- field!
And while we go check it out, why don't you enjoy our seldom heard, extra longggg version of "In-a-Gadda-da-Vida."
Michael Jackson! Oh such a thing happens once in a blue moon. Do I dare to leave my post?
Aye carumba!
This is the most exciting thing to happen to our fair town since the uh Dalai Lama visited in 1952. And so, I hereby declare that Route 401, currently known as the Dalai Lama Expressway, will henceforth be known as the Michael Jackson Expressway.
And the guy in the pink shirt is the father of the family who, it turns out, was just released from a mental hospital.
Thanks everybody! It's great to be sane.
Here he is! Here's the guy you wanna see.
Huh? Huh?
He's three hundred pounds.
He's white.
He's dressed without flair.
What the hell made me think Michael Jackson would even visit this jerkwater burg?
You owe us Michael Jackson.
Don't ever show your face around here again, ya tool.
Bart, the entire town is howling for your blood, and before I join them I have one question: Today is my birthday -- you promised to get me something, and... and I'm afraid to ask.
You know, maybe you should trust that instinct and not ask.
I thought so. Oh, Bart, you...
Come off. I'm sane now.
Dear Bart, I am using the stationery Mom and Dad gave me for my birthday to inform you that we are now brother and sister in name only. Perhaps if a professional so advises, I will give you a hug at some far distant family reunion, but rest assured it will be purely for show.
Hey, Bart.
Hey... you.
I WISH YOU BETTER THAN YOUR HEART DESIRE /
Bart, when I was a kid, I didn't have much money. So you know what I did when my sisters' birthdays rolled around?
Stiffed 'em?
No. I wrote them a song. To show that I cared.
I can't write a song. I'm only ten.
Only ten? When I was your age I had six gold records.
Hey, Looney Tunes, this is what Michael Jackson looks like. You look like a big fat mental patient.
You'd be amazed how often I hear that.
Just leave me alone.
Look boy, either Michael Jackson is some guy working in a recording studio in LA or he's here with you willing to work on this song. It's your choice. So long.
Wait, wait, Michael! You go sit at the piano and I'll boil some coffee.
LISA, HER TEETH ARE BIG AND GREEN / LISA, SHE SMELLS LIKE GASOLINE / LISA, DA DA DA DEESA / SHE IS MY SIS-TA, HER BIRTHDAY I MISSED-TA.
Uh, no.
Bart, we've got to get to your real feelings about your sister.
I don't have any.
Well, let's go look at her. Maybe that will help.
Ah, she looks sad.
That's cause she knows you're looking at her.
Although I am aware you are looking at me, I would look exactly the same even if you weren't.
Bart, think. What happens to you when you turn eight?
Well, your training wheels come off your bike.
Good. That's good. THE TRAINING WHEELS COME OFF YOUR BIKE / YOU START TO NOTICE BOYS YOU LIKE...HEE, HEE, HEE.
You're just putting that in because it's commercial.
Lisa... Lisa... Lisa.
Huh... wha-- Bart, it's six a.m.
That's right! Hope you like your present. And a-one, and a-two, and a one, two, three, four --
LI-SA IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY / AND GOD BLESS YOU THIS DAY / YOU GAVE ME THE GIFT OF A LITTLE SISTER / AND I'M PROUD OF YOU TODAY...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LISA /
AND YOUR FIRST KISS FROM A BOY...
LISA IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY / HAPPY BIRTHDAY LISA /
LISA IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY / HAPPY BIRTHDAY LISA...
Oh! This is the best present I ever got. Thank you, Bart. Thank you Michael.
Well, my work is done here.
Hey, Michael. What happened to your voice?
This is my real voice. My name is Leon Kompowski and I'm a brick layer from Patterson, New Jersey. All my life I was very angry until one day I just talked like this. All of a sudden everybody was smiling at me, and I was only doin' good on this earth, so I kept on doin' it. To make a tired point. Which one of us is truly crazy?
Not me. I got this.
Bye, bye, Leon / Bye, roomie / Bye, Pardner / You're a credit to Dementia!
See ya!
LISA IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY / GOD BLESS YOU THIS DAY / YOU GAVE-A ME THE GIFT-A DA DOO DA DEE DEE DOO DOO / AND I'M A PROUD OF YOU TODAY!
LISA IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY / HAPPY BIRTHDAY LISA / LISA IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY / HAPPY BIRTHDAY LISA...
I WISH YOU LOVE AND GOOD WILL / I WISH YOU PEACE AND JOY /
I WISH YOU BETTER THAN YOUR HEART'S DESIRE /
AND YOUR FIRST KISS FROM A BOY...
LISA IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY / HAPPY BIRTHDAY LISA / LISA IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY / HAPPY BIRTHDAY LISA...
Take it away, Lis.
LISA IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY / HAPPY BIRTHDAY LISA...
Stupid junk mail... "You May Have Already Won!" Yeah, win this... "Here's Good News for Homer Simpsoy"... I'll see that he gets it. How dumb do they think I am?
Huh? A check?
One Million dollars? I'm rich!
Mr. Simpson, I can assure you this "check" of yours is non-negotiable.
Oh yeah? Well, what makes you so damn sure?
You see where it says "VOID-VOID-VOID" and "This Is Not A Check"? "Cash value one twentieth of a cent"? "Mr. Banker, do not honor."
Shut up.
I had a feeling it was too good to be true. Every time you get a million dollars something queers the deal.
I don't think real checks have exclamation points.
Well, at least we got a free sample of Reading Digest.
Marge, I never read a magazine in my life and I'm not gonna start now.
Hey, a cartoon.
"Well dear, you always wanted a compact." -- Ain't it the truth.
No, it is not the truth, Homer. It's well documented that women are safer drivers than men.
Oh, Marge. Cartoons don't have any deep meaning. They're just stupid drawings that give you a cheap laugh.
Hey, Einstein. Put down your readin', it's lunchtime.
Nah, you go ahead.
Hey, You don't wanna eat? What'd ya do, get one of them stomach staples?
As Tolstoy said in "Quotable Notables," "Give me learning, sir, and you may keep your black bread."
Who is that bookworm, Smithers?
Homer Simpson, sir.
Simpson, eh? How very strange. His job description clearly specifies an illiterate.
We now return to Troy McClure and Delores Montenegro in "Preacher with a Shovel."
But irrigation can save your people, Chief Smiling Bear.
Marge, look at them staring at that idiot box. God forbid they would ever read something and improve their minds.
You've certainly taken a shine to that magazine.
Important.
Ooh... How about the "V"?
It's not just one magazine, Marge. They take hundreds of magazines, filter out the crap, and leave you with something that fits right in your front pocket.
Those kids don't know what they're missing.

Michael Jackson!

We've just been handed a bulletin from our Rock 'N' Rumor Department.

That's right, Michael Jackson -- the Thriller himself -- is moonwalkin' his way right here to our very own Spring- field!

And while we go check it out, why don't you enjoy our seldom heard, extra longggg version of "In-a-Gadda-da-Vida."

Michael Jackson! Oh such a thing happens once in a blue moon. Do I dare to leave my post?

Aye carumba!

This is the most exciting thing to happen to our fair town since the uh Dalai Lama visited in 1952. And so, I hereby declare that Route 401, currently known as the Dalai Lama Expressway, will henceforth be known as the Michael Jackson Expressway.

And the guy in the pink shirt is the father of the family who, it turns out, was just released from a mental hospital.

Thanks everybody! It's great to be sane.

Here he is! Here's the guy you wanna see.

Huh? Huh?

He's three hundred pounds.

He's white.

He's dressed without flair.

What the hell made me think Michael Jackson would even visit this jerkwater burg?

You owe us Michael Jackson.

Don't ever show your face around here again, ya tool.

Bart, the entire town is howling for your blood, and before I join them I have one question: Today is my birthday -- you promised to get me something, and... and I'm afraid to ask.

You know, maybe you should trust that instinct and not ask.

I thought so. Oh, Bart, you...

Come off. I'm sane now.

Dear Bart, I am using the stationery Mom and Dad gave me for my birthday to inform you that we are now brother and sister in name only. Perhaps if a professional so advises, I will give you a hug at some far distant family reunion, but rest assured it will be purely for show.

Hey, Bart.

Hey... you.

I WISH YOU BETTER THAN YOUR HEART DESIRE /

Bart, when I was a kid, I didn't have much money. So you know what I did when my sisters' birthdays rolled around?

Stiffed 'em?

No. I wrote them a song. To show that I cared.

I can't write a song. I'm only ten.

Only ten? When I was your age I had six gold records.

Hey, Looney Tunes, this is what Michael Jackson looks like. You look like a big fat mental patient.

You'd be amazed how often I hear that.

Just leave me alone.

Look boy, either Michael Jackson is some guy working in a recording studio in LA or he's here with you willing to work on this song. It's your choice. So long.

Wait, wait, Michael! You go sit at the piano and I'll boil some coffee.

LISA, HER TEETH ARE BIG AND GREEN / LISA, SHE SMELLS LIKE GASOLINE / LISA, DA DA DA DEESA / SHE IS MY SIS-TA, HER BIRTHDAY I MISSED-TA.

Uh, no.

Bart, we've got to get to your real feelings about your sister.

I don't have any.

Well, let's go look at her. Maybe that will help.

Ah, she looks sad.

That's cause she knows you're looking at her.

Although I am aware you are looking at me, I would look exactly the same even if you weren't.

Bart, think. What happens to you when you turn eight?

Well, your training wheels come off your bike.

Good. That's good. THE TRAINING WHEELS COME OFF YOUR BIKE / YOU START TO NOTICE BOYS YOU LIKE...HEE, HEE, HEE.

You're just putting that in because it's commercial.

Lisa... Lisa... Lisa.

Huh... wha-- Bart, it's six a.m.

That's right! Hope you like your present. And a-one, and a-two, and a one, two, three, four --

LI-SA IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY / AND GOD BLESS YOU THIS DAY / YOU GAVE ME THE GIFT OF A LITTLE SISTER / AND I'M PROUD OF YOU TODAY...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LISA /

AND YOUR FIRST KISS FROM A BOY...

LISA IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY / HAPPY BIRTHDAY LISA /

LISA IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY / HAPPY BIRTHDAY LISA...

Oh! This is the best present I ever got. Thank you, Bart. Thank you Michael.

Well, my work is done here.

Hey, Michael. What happened to your voice?

This is my real voice. My name is Leon Kompowski and I'm a brick layer from Patterson, New Jersey. All my life I was very angry until one day I just talked like this. All of a sudden everybody was smiling at me, and I was only doin' good on this earth, so I kept on doin' it. To make a tired point. Which one of us is truly crazy?

Not me. I got this.

Bye, bye, Leon / Bye, roomie / Bye, Pardner / You're a credit to Dementia!

See ya!

LISA IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY / GOD BLESS YOU THIS DAY / YOU GAVE-A ME THE GIFT-A DA DOO DA DEE DEE DOO DOO / AND I'M A PROUD OF YOU TODAY!

LISA IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY / HAPPY BIRTHDAY LISA / LISA IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY / HAPPY BIRTHDAY LISA...

I WISH YOU LOVE AND GOOD WILL / I WISH YOU PEACE AND JOY /

I WISH YOU BETTER THAN YOUR HEART'S DESIRE /

AND YOUR FIRST KISS FROM A BOY...

LISA IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY / HAPPY BIRTHDAY LISA / LISA IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY / HAPPY BIRTHDAY LISA...

Take it away, Lis.

LISA IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY / HAPPY BIRTHDAY LISA...

Stupid junk mail... "You May Have Already Won!" Yeah, win this... "Here's Good News for Homer Simpsoy"... I'll see that he gets it. How dumb do they think I am?

Huh? A check?

One Million dollars? I'm rich!

Mr. Simpson, I can assure you this "check" of yours is non-negotiable.

Oh yeah? Well, what makes you so damn sure?

You see where it says "VOID-VOID-VOID" and "This Is Not A Check"? "Cash value one twentieth of a cent"? "Mr. Banker, do not honor."

Shut up.

I had a feeling it was too good to be true. Every time you get a million dollars something queers the deal.

I don't think real checks have exclamation points.

Well, at least we got a free sample of Reading Digest.

Marge, I never read a magazine in my life and I'm not gonna start now.

Hey, a cartoon.

"Well dear, you always wanted a compact." -- Ain't it the truth.

No, it is not the truth, Homer. It's well documented that women are safer drivers than men.

Oh, Marge. Cartoons don't have any deep meaning. They're just stupid drawings that give you a cheap laugh.

Hey, Einstein. Put down your readin', it's lunchtime.

Nah, you go ahead.

Hey, You don't wanna eat? What'd ya do, get one of them stomach staples?

As Tolstoy said in "Quotable Notables," "Give me learning, sir, and you may keep your black bread."

Who is that bookworm, Smithers?

Homer Simpson, sir.

Simpson, eh? How very strange. His job description clearly specifies an illiterate.

We now return to Troy McClure and Delores Montenegro in "Preacher with a Shovel."

But irrigation can save your people, Chief Smiling Bear.

Marge, look at them staring at that idiot box. God forbid they would ever read something and improve their minds.

You've certainly taken a shine to that magazine.

Important.

Ooh... How about the "V"?

It's not just one magazine, Marge. They take hundreds of magazines, filter out the crap, and leave you with something that fits right in your front pocket.

Those kids don't know what they're missing.