jamesliu23/simpsons · Datasets at Hugging Face

text stringlengths 7 697
Hey, what gives, man?
We're all gonna sit down as a family and listen to an inspiring story of wilderness survival.
"Then I heard the sound that all Arctic explorers dread: The pitiless bark of the sea lion." He'll be killed!
Homer, he obviously got out alive if he wrote the article.
Don't be so...
Oh, you're right.
Homie... Put down your magazine for a minute...
I thought you might want to snuggle.
That reminds me! "Seven Ways To Spice Up Your Marriage."
Marge, you have a nice body. And if you'd like to see me in a costume, you have only to ask.
Thank you, Homie.
Wow, little meatloaf men!
Where did you get the idea for this, Mom?
Where do you think? This baby never steers you wrong. And it was free. Free!
It certainly has enriched our lives.
Wow! "Win a Trip to Washington D.C."! "All expenses paid... VIP tour"... Oh. It's for kids.
Wait, Dad!
Hm. An essay contest. "Children under twelve"... "Three hundred words"... "Fiercely pro-American." Sounds interesting.
Bart, maybe this is something you'd like to do, too.
Mom, it's a nice thought, but we both know that this is the pony to bet on.
What would Ben Franklin say if he were alive today? He'd say... oh, think of a better opening.
How's it going, honey?
Not very well.
Ooh... And Miss? Just one more question --
Well, when I used to get stuck like this, I'd go for a bike ride. Do kids go on bike rides anymore?
I don't know, I thought maybe bikes weren't cool anymore. Do kids still use that word, "cool"?
Yes, Mom.
Okay, America. Inspire me.
Wow, a bald eagle.
Thanks for driving me to the contest, Dad.
Sweetheart, there's nothing I wouldn't do for that magazine.
"So burn the flag if you must. But before you do, you'd better burn a few other things. You better burn your shirt and your pants. Be sure to burn your TV and car. Oh yes, and don't forget to burn your house. Because none of those things could exist without six white stripes, seven red stripes, and a hell of a lotta stars." Thank you very much.
YEAH! Damn right!
Recipe for a free country: Mix one cup liberty with three teaspoons of justice. Add one informed electorate. Baste well with veto power...
My back is spineless. My belly is yellow. I am the American Non-Voter...
... Stirring two cups of checks. Sprinkle liberally with balances...
"Ding." "Dong." The sounds of the Liberty Bell. "Ding." Freedom. "Dong." Opportunity. "Ding." Excellent schools. "Dong." Quality hospitals...
When America was born on that hot July day in 1776, the trees in Springfield Forest were tiny saplings, trembling towards the sun. And as they were nourished by Mother Earth, so too did our fledgling nation find strength in the simple ideals of equality and justice. Who would have thought such mighty oaks, or such a powerful nation, could grow out of something so fragile... so pure. Thank you.
What do you think?
It's good. A little too good for an eight-year-old. Methinks I detect the sickly scent of the daddy.
Person.
Mr. Simpson, I'd like to ask you a few questions about your daughter's essay. Lisa, will you excuse us?
"We the purple"? What the hell was that?
Are you a professional writer?
Are you interested in politics or government?
Are you interested in anything?
Could you touch your nose for me?
Lisa, after meeting your father, I've decided to award you an additional five points. Congratulations. You and your family are going to Washington!
Woo hoo! Who would've guessed reading and writing would pay off?
Yes, sir. Can I get you something?
Playing cards, notepad, aspirin, sewing kit, pilot's wing pin, propellor-shaped swizzle stick, sleeping mask and anything else I've got coming to me.
I'll see what I can do.
Steward!
Little boy, I bet you'd like to visit the cockpit.
Oh baby!
And this control stick is like the handlebars on your tricycle. Now, would you like to see where we hang our coats?
No thank you, I'd rather push this button.
We're all gonna die!
Look, Marge, that guy has the same last name we do... Taxi!
Oooh, look, Homer. The IRS.
BOOOOO!
Oh, boo yourself!
Here we are, kids! The Watergate.
Uh... okay.
Homer, look! They give you a shower cap, and body gel and bathrobes... Ooh, and a welcoming mint on your pillow.
Wowww -- A shoehorn! Just like in the movies!
Shoe goes on, shoe goes off. Shoe goes on, shoe goes off. Shoe goes on, shoe goes off.
Hey, I call first bedsies!
Bart! There's no such thing as first bedsies. You just made that up.
Well, okay, which one do you want?
Iiiiiii Waaaaaannt... That one.
Really, you want that one? It's all yours. Whatever you say.
Why? What's wrong with it?
Nothing! Have a good night's sleep, Lisa.
No, really, what?
Nothing.
What did you do to it?
Nothing.
Stupid welcoming mint! Y'ello.
Good morning. This is your wake-up call.
Wake-up call? It's two AM!
Sorry fatso.
Free food?!
Lisa? I'm Faith Crowley, Patriotism Editor of Reading Digest.
Ooh! I love your magazine. My favorite section is "How To Increase Your Word Power." That thing is really, really, really good.
Well... good.
Lisa, I'd like you to meet some of the other finalists. This is Truong Van Dinh and Maria Dominguez.
Maria is the national spelling bee champion, and Truong has won both the Westinghouse Talent Search and the NFL Punt, Pass and Kick Competition.
Have either of you ever run into any problems because of your superior ability?
Sure, I guess.
Ah, me too!
These are special VIP badges. They'll get you into places other tourists never see.
Miss? What does the "I" stand for?
Ah! What does the "I" stand for again?
"On this spot, Richard Nixon bowled back-to back-300 games."
Yeah, right.
Wow, the President's bathroom!
Do you mind?!
Barbara Bush.
Oh, you have those damn badges. Okay, this tub was installed in 1894...

Hey, what gives, man?

We're all gonna sit down as a family and listen to an inspiring story of wilderness survival.

"Then I heard the sound that all Arctic explorers dread: The pitiless bark of the sea lion." He'll be killed!

Homer, he obviously got out alive if he wrote the article.

Don't be so...

Oh, you're right.

Homie... Put down your magazine for a minute...

I thought you might want to snuggle.

That reminds me! "Seven Ways To Spice Up Your Marriage."

Marge, you have a nice body. And if you'd like to see me in a costume, you have only to ask.

Thank you, Homie.

Wow, little meatloaf men!

Where did you get the idea for this, Mom?

Where do you think? This baby never steers you wrong. And it was free. Free!

It certainly has enriched our lives.

Wow! "Win a Trip to Washington D.C."! "All expenses paid... VIP tour"... Oh. It's for kids.

Wait, Dad!

Hm. An essay contest. "Children under twelve"... "Three hundred words"... "Fiercely pro-American." Sounds interesting.

Bart, maybe this is something you'd like to do, too.

Mom, it's a nice thought, but we both know that this is the pony to bet on.

What would Ben Franklin say if he were alive today? He'd say... oh, think of a better opening.

How's it going, honey?

Not very well.

Ooh... And Miss? Just one more question --

Well, when I used to get stuck like this, I'd go for a bike ride. Do kids go on bike rides anymore?

I don't know, I thought maybe bikes weren't cool anymore. Do kids still use that word, "cool"?

Yes, Mom.

Okay, America. Inspire me.

Wow, a bald eagle.

Thanks for driving me to the contest, Dad.

Sweetheart, there's nothing I wouldn't do for that magazine.

"So burn the flag if you must. But before you do, you'd better burn a few other things. You better burn your shirt and your pants. Be sure to burn your TV and car. Oh yes, and don't forget to burn your house. Because none of those things could exist without six white stripes, seven red stripes, and a hell of a lotta stars." Thank you very much.

YEAH! Damn right!

Recipe for a free country: Mix one cup liberty with three teaspoons of justice. Add one informed electorate. Baste well with veto power...

My back is spineless. My belly is yellow. I am the American Non-Voter...

... Stirring two cups of checks. Sprinkle liberally with balances...

"Ding." "Dong." The sounds of the Liberty Bell. "Ding." Freedom. "Dong." Opportunity. "Ding." Excellent schools. "Dong." Quality hospitals...

When America was born on that hot July day in 1776, the trees in Springfield Forest were tiny saplings, trembling towards the sun. And as they were nourished by Mother Earth, so too did our fledgling nation find strength in the simple ideals of equality and justice. Who would have thought such mighty oaks, or such a powerful nation, could grow out of something so fragile... so pure. Thank you.

What do you think?

It's good. A little too good for an eight-year-old. Methinks I detect the sickly scent of the daddy.

Person.

Mr. Simpson, I'd like to ask you a few questions about your daughter's essay. Lisa, will you excuse us?

"We the purple"? What the hell was that?

Are you a professional writer?

Are you interested in politics or government?

Are you interested in anything?

Could you touch your nose for me?

Lisa, after meeting your father, I've decided to award you an additional five points. Congratulations. You and your family are going to Washington!

Woo hoo! Who would've guessed reading and writing would pay off?

Yes, sir. Can I get you something?

Playing cards, notepad, aspirin, sewing kit, pilot's wing pin, propellor-shaped swizzle stick, sleeping mask and anything else I've got coming to me.

I'll see what I can do.

Steward!

Little boy, I bet you'd like to visit the cockpit.

Oh baby!

And this control stick is like the handlebars on your tricycle. Now, would you like to see where we hang our coats?

No thank you, I'd rather push this button.

We're all gonna die!

Look, Marge, that guy has the same last name we do... Taxi!

Oooh, look, Homer. The IRS.

BOOOOO!

Oh, boo yourself!

Here we are, kids! The Watergate.

Uh... okay.

Homer, look! They give you a shower cap, and body gel and bathrobes... Ooh, and a welcoming mint on your pillow.

Wowww -- A shoehorn! Just like in the movies!

Shoe goes on, shoe goes off. Shoe goes on, shoe goes off. Shoe goes on, shoe goes off.

Hey, I call first bedsies!

Bart! There's no such thing as first bedsies. You just made that up.

Well, okay, which one do you want?

Iiiiiii Waaaaaannt... That one.

Really, you want that one? It's all yours. Whatever you say.

Why? What's wrong with it?

Nothing! Have a good night's sleep, Lisa.

No, really, what?

Nothing.

What did you do to it?

Nothing.

Stupid welcoming mint! Y'ello.

Good morning. This is your wake-up call.

Wake-up call? It's two AM!

Sorry fatso.

Free food?!

Lisa? I'm Faith Crowley, Patriotism Editor of Reading Digest.

Ooh! I love your magazine. My favorite section is "How To Increase Your Word Power." That thing is really, really, really good.

Well... good.

Lisa, I'd like you to meet some of the other finalists. This is Truong Van Dinh and Maria Dominguez.

Maria is the national spelling bee champion, and Truong has won both the Westinghouse Talent Search and the NFL Punt, Pass and Kick Competition.

Have either of you ever run into any problems because of your superior ability?

Sure, I guess.

Ah, me too!

These are special VIP badges. They'll get you into places other tourists never see.

Miss? What does the "I" stand for?

Ah! What does the "I" stand for again?

"On this spot, Richard Nixon bowled back-to back-300 games."

Yeah, right.

Wow, the President's bathroom!

Do you mind?!

Barbara Bush.

Oh, you have those damn badges. Okay, this tub was installed in 1894...