jamesliu23/simpsons · Datasets at Hugging Face

text stringlengths 7 697
What's gotten into Lisa?
Beats the hell out of me.
Mom, what are you doing?
What? Whadda ya mean?
Well, don't you remember the Eighth Commandment?
Oh, of course. It's thou shalt not... uh... covet... graven images... something about covet...
Thou shalt not steal!
Anything else?
Yes. I ate two grapes. Please charge me for them.
Oh, two grapes? Who cares?
Just charge me something, please.
Yeah, okay, all right. I need a price check on two grapes. Yeah, you heard me, Phil, two measly, stinking grapes.
If you didn't catch it in the theater, or rent it, or see it someplace else, we've got it -- on the Blockbuster Channel!
Dad, why is the world such a cesspool of corruption?
Oh, great... All right, what makes you say that?
Well, at Sunday School we learned that stealing is a sin.
Well, duh.
But everybody does it! I mean, we're stealing cable as we speak.
Oh. Hm, look at it this way. When you had breakfast this morning, did you pay for it?
And did you pay for those clothes you're wearing?
No, I didn't.
Well, run for the hills, Ma Barker, before I call the Feds.
Dad, I think that's pretty spurious.
Well, thank you honey.
Friday night, live from Las Vegas. The ultimate match-up. The Bout to Knock the Other Guy Out.
It's Watson-Tatum II. This time, it's for money!
Oh, boy!
Only on the Blockbuster Channel.
How can one little insulated wire bring so much happiness?
Hey, big fight comin' up.
Yeah, you want to come over to my house and listen to round-by-round updates on the radio?
Oh yeah, okay. Oh, then after the fight, we can watch the still photos on the eleven o'clock news.
Not too shabby! Whadda you say, Homer?
We could do that, hmm, yeah, or... we could go over to my house and watch the whole thing live on cable TV.
Pass the pumice, please.
Uh, he's Homer Simpson, sir. One of your drones from sector 7G.
Excellent. I'm so keen on seeing Watson vs. Tatum II, I'd even go to an employee's house. Oh, I can picture it now. The screen door rusting off its filthy hinges. Mangy dog staggering about looking vainly for a place to die.
Permission to speak frankly, sir.
Permission granted.
Well, you are quite wealthy sir.
Thank you, Smithers. Your candor is most refreshing.
No, no, I mean, why don't you pay for the fight yourself?
Eh, Smithers, a big title fight is one of those rare occasions that I savor the sights, the sounds; and, ah yes, the smells of other men.
You haven't lost the common touch, sir.
So, Homer, I hear you got the fight.
Yeah, that's right. Eight o'clock, my place. Come one, come all.
Hey, Moe, how come you never got cable for the bar?
Well, it was either cable or the mechanical bull.
I made my choice and I stand by it.
Ooh! Somebody's having a party.
Yeah, Friday night. You want to come over?
Thank you, but this store is open twenty-four hours. It puts great demands on my time.
Oh, too bad. It's gonna be a great fight.
Oh, the fight. Why didn't you say something? I'll get my brother, Sanjay, to cover for me. He deplores violence of all kinds.
So, even if a man takes bread to feed his starving family, that would be stealing?
No. Well, it is if he puts anything on it. Jelly, for example.
Come on, Lisa, now you're here for a reason. Is your father stealing bread?
Maybe. I don't watch him every minute. But what I am sure of is, we're getting cable for free.
Well, I'm afraid that is stealing, Lisa, and I think you must do something... hmmm.
Should I have my father arrested?
Well, Lisa, on the surface, that would appear to be an ideal solution to the problem. But remember the Fourth Commandment, "Honor thy father and thy mother." Hmmm, Lisa, I would like to see you set an example by not watching the offending technology yourself?
Thank you, Reverend Lovejoy.
You're watching Top Hat Entertainment. Adult programming all day, every day, except in Florida and Utah. Coming up next, "Stardust Memories."
Aye Carumba!
Oh, here's what I was looking for.
Blue chips closed up three and three quarters... Oil service stocks slumped slightly on news of OPEC's continuing stalemate at their meeting in Geneva, Switzerland.
Son, you shouldn't watch that other channel. It's only for mommies and daddies who love each other very much. I want you to promise me you won't watch that channel ever again.
Promise me.
I promise I will never watch that channel again.
Good boy.
Hi, Dad. I think stealing cable is wrong. So I'm choosing not to watch it in the hope that others will follow my example. It's the last you'll hear from me on the matter. Thank you for your time.
Hey Lisa -- Racing from Belmont? Horsies!
Sorry, I'd rather go to heaven.
There is something wrong with that kid. She's so moral. Why can't she be more like... well, not like Bart, but there's gotta be a happy medium.
Well, you know, Bart was looking at that racy movie today, and Lisa's losing a little respect for you... Maybe we should think about unhooking the cable.
Unhook it?! But I love cable.
Well, then maybe you should pay for it.
Look, look, Marge. I can't afford it. When I can afford to pay for it, I will. But I can't, so I'm not going to.
But Homer, I'm afraid that cable has become an evil presence in our home.
Marge, I never put my foot down about anything.
...but I am severely tempted to do it over this.
Oh, Homer.
Marge, I'm sorry, I think it's coming down.
No, Homer, not over this. No, no.
It's coming down. My foot is, that's it, Marge. It's coming down. The cable stays. The foot has spoken.
Seen it. Seen it. Seen it. Seen it. Ugh! Soccer. Seen it.
Hey, Simpson!
Huh? Hey, how'd you get in here?
Well, your door wasn't locked in any serious way. I wonder if you'd be interested in this car stereo? A five hundred dollar value, but I'll let you have it for forty bucks.
Get out of my house! I don't wanna associate with criminals.
Well, maybe I'll go see your neighbor.
He's not home.
Even better.
Are you sure you want to do this, Homer? It doesn't look friendly.
Marge, we can't be too careful. There are thieves everywhere, and I'm not talking about the small, forgivable stuff.
Come one, come all, Top Hat Theatre is on the air. The most beautiful women in the world. Just fifty-cents. I am your host, Bart Simpson. You must be at least eight years old to enter.
Well, back to the fight.
And now, the Top Hat Channel is honored to present, "Broadcast Nudes."
Yet strangely compelling.
It's a raid!

What's gotten into Lisa?

Beats the hell out of me.

Mom, what are you doing?

What? Whadda ya mean?

Well, don't you remember the Eighth Commandment?

Oh, of course. It's thou shalt not... uh... covet... graven images... something about covet...

Thou shalt not steal!

Anything else?

Yes. I ate two grapes. Please charge me for them.

Oh, two grapes? Who cares?

Just charge me something, please.

Yeah, okay, all right. I need a price check on two grapes. Yeah, you heard me, Phil, two measly, stinking grapes.

If you didn't catch it in the theater, or rent it, or see it someplace else, we've got it -- on the Blockbuster Channel!

Dad, why is the world such a cesspool of corruption?

Oh, great... All right, what makes you say that?

Well, at Sunday School we learned that stealing is a sin.

Well, duh.

But everybody does it! I mean, we're stealing cable as we speak.

Oh. Hm, look at it this way. When you had breakfast this morning, did you pay for it?

And did you pay for those clothes you're wearing?

No, I didn't.

Well, run for the hills, Ma Barker, before I call the Feds.

Dad, I think that's pretty spurious.

Well, thank you honey.

Friday night, live from Las Vegas. The ultimate match-up. The Bout to Knock the Other Guy Out.

It's Watson-Tatum II. This time, it's for money!

Oh, boy!

Only on the Blockbuster Channel.

How can one little insulated wire bring so much happiness?

Hey, big fight comin' up.

Yeah, you want to come over to my house and listen to round-by-round updates on the radio?

Oh yeah, okay. Oh, then after the fight, we can watch the still photos on the eleven o'clock news.

Not too shabby! Whadda you say, Homer?

We could do that, hmm, yeah, or... we could go over to my house and watch the whole thing live on cable TV.

Pass the pumice, please.

Uh, he's Homer Simpson, sir. One of your drones from sector 7G.

Excellent. I'm so keen on seeing Watson vs. Tatum II, I'd even go to an employee's house. Oh, I can picture it now. The screen door rusting off its filthy hinges. Mangy dog staggering about looking vainly for a place to die.

Permission to speak frankly, sir.

Permission granted.

Well, you are quite wealthy sir.

Thank you, Smithers. Your candor is most refreshing.

No, no, I mean, why don't you pay for the fight yourself?

Eh, Smithers, a big title fight is one of those rare occasions that I savor the sights, the sounds; and, ah yes, the smells of other men.

You haven't lost the common touch, sir.

So, Homer, I hear you got the fight.

Yeah, that's right. Eight o'clock, my place. Come one, come all.

Hey, Moe, how come you never got cable for the bar?

Well, it was either cable or the mechanical bull.

I made my choice and I stand by it.

Ooh! Somebody's having a party.

Yeah, Friday night. You want to come over?

Thank you, but this store is open twenty-four hours. It puts great demands on my time.

Oh, too bad. It's gonna be a great fight.

Oh, the fight. Why didn't you say something? I'll get my brother, Sanjay, to cover for me. He deplores violence of all kinds.

So, even if a man takes bread to feed his starving family, that would be stealing?

No. Well, it is if he puts anything on it. Jelly, for example.

Come on, Lisa, now you're here for a reason. Is your father stealing bread?

Maybe. I don't watch him every minute. But what I am sure of is, we're getting cable for free.

Well, I'm afraid that is stealing, Lisa, and I think you must do something... hmmm.

Should I have my father arrested?

Well, Lisa, on the surface, that would appear to be an ideal solution to the problem. But remember the Fourth Commandment, "Honor thy father and thy mother." Hmmm, Lisa, I would like to see you set an example by not watching the offending technology yourself?

Thank you, Reverend Lovejoy.

You're watching Top Hat Entertainment. Adult programming all day, every day, except in Florida and Utah. Coming up next, "Stardust Memories."

Aye Carumba!

Oh, here's what I was looking for.

Blue chips closed up three and three quarters... Oil service stocks slumped slightly on news of OPEC's continuing stalemate at their meeting in Geneva, Switzerland.

Son, you shouldn't watch that other channel. It's only for mommies and daddies who love each other very much. I want you to promise me you won't watch that channel ever again.

Promise me.

I promise I will never watch that channel again.

Good boy.

Hi, Dad. I think stealing cable is wrong. So I'm choosing not to watch it in the hope that others will follow my example. It's the last you'll hear from me on the matter. Thank you for your time.

Hey Lisa -- Racing from Belmont? Horsies!

Sorry, I'd rather go to heaven.

There is something wrong with that kid. She's so moral. Why can't she be more like... well, not like Bart, but there's gotta be a happy medium.

Well, you know, Bart was looking at that racy movie today, and Lisa's losing a little respect for you... Maybe we should think about unhooking the cable.

Unhook it?! But I love cable.

Well, then maybe you should pay for it.

Look, look, Marge. I can't afford it. When I can afford to pay for it, I will. But I can't, so I'm not going to.

But Homer, I'm afraid that cable has become an evil presence in our home.

Marge, I never put my foot down about anything.

...but I am severely tempted to do it over this.

Oh, Homer.

Marge, I'm sorry, I think it's coming down.

No, Homer, not over this. No, no.

It's coming down. My foot is, that's it, Marge. It's coming down. The cable stays. The foot has spoken.

Seen it. Seen it. Seen it. Seen it. Ugh! Soccer. Seen it.

Hey, Simpson!

Huh? Hey, how'd you get in here?

Well, your door wasn't locked in any serious way. I wonder if you'd be interested in this car stereo? A five hundred dollar value, but I'll let you have it for forty bucks.

Get out of my house! I don't wanna associate with criminals.

Well, maybe I'll go see your neighbor.

He's not home.

Even better.

Are you sure you want to do this, Homer? It doesn't look friendly.

Marge, we can't be too careful. There are thieves everywhere, and I'm not talking about the small, forgivable stuff.

Come one, come all, Top Hat Theatre is on the air. The most beautiful women in the world. Just fifty-cents. I am your host, Bart Simpson. You must be at least eight years old to enter.

Well, back to the fight.

And now, the Top Hat Channel is honored to present, "Broadcast Nudes."

Yet strangely compelling.

It's a raid!