jamesliu23/simpsons · Datasets at Hugging Face

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And instead of being pure chocolate like we have today, it was mixed with shredded tobacco. And they didn't eat it. They smoked it.
You didn't believe me when I said it would be fun, did you?
No thir.
Please, kids, play sanitary.
Tan Die Doe Dow?
Tan... Die.... Doe... Dow.
Hmm... Well there's still a minute to go... oh, why not! But don't you tell your teacher I let you go home early.
Die don't.
What next?
Hey, what's with the kid?
Hands off the material!
Whaddaya know! The kid's tough.
He's got spunk.
I wonder if he is lucky also. Pick a horse, kid. Shelbyville Downs. Third race. Make it a good one.
Eat my shorts.
Eat my shorts. Ah, okay. Let's see... Heyy... Wait a minute, you little punk! Eat My Shorts is in the fifth race. I said the third race!
Don't have a cow.
Hmm... "Don't have a cow" in the third. Put a deuce on him.
While we are waiting to see how lucky you are, let me show you around. This is our bar, and over there is our slot machine and card tables....
Hey Boss! Here's the call for the third race.
...As they come out of the turn it's "Sufferin Succotash" by a neck over "Yabbadabbadoo." Two lengths back to "Ain't I a Stinker" and "That's All Folks." "I Yam What I Yam" can see them all. But here comes "Donhavacow" flyin' on the outside. And at the wire it's all "Donhavacow!"
Hey, I like this kid. I can't believe we were gonna shoot him. Can you mix drinks?
I don't know.
I'll have a Manhattan.
Make Legs a Manhattan.
I'm not sure I...
Supoib.
You got a job? Doing what?
Oh... I dunno... mixing drinks, picking horses, cuttin' cigars... you know -- a job.
Bart, your father and I don't want you doing that. Homer, say something.
How much does it pay?
Thirty bucks a week.
Pfft. I make more than that.
I was lookin' for those. Thanks, doll.
It's funny because it's true.
Well obsoived.
Chief Wiggum, you honor us with your presence.
Baloney. I'm not gonna rest until one of us is behind bars -- You! You wouldn't happen to know anything about a cigarette truck that got hijacked on route 401?
What's a truck?
Don't play dumb with me!
Relax Chief, you seem tense. You know, the boy here makes an excellent Manhattan.
Ah... I'm still gonna put you away, you know.
Good for you, Chief.
... Bart! Have you started smoking?
Don't lie to me boy.
Aha! Cigarettes, just as I thought.
They're not mine. My boss said his warehouse was full.
Yeah, right. Son... I'm gonna teach you a lesson. I'm going to stand here and watch you smoke every one of those cigarettes. Then maybe you'll learn...
Uh... Fat Tony sent me over to pick up the goods.
Right in here my man.
Hey kid, you look good with that cigarette. Kind of sophisticated.
Son, I'll never doubt you again.
The contents of the hijacked truck: some twelve thousand cartons of Laramie 100's.
Homer? Homer!
We have... uh... Please, we have a number of leads. And let me assure all you smokers out there... there is no shortage of cigarettes.
How do we know that?
All right, let me refer that question back to Jack Larson, of Laramie Tobacco Products. Jack?
Thank you Chief. Folks, I'm pleased to announce that a new truckload of Laramies with their smooth good taste and rich tobacco flavor is already heading towards Springfield. And the driver has been instructed to ignore all stop signs and crosswalks.
The police suspect the involvement of reputed mobster William "Fat Tony" Williams.
Fat Tony is a cancer on this fair city. He is the cancer and I am the... uh... ... what cures cancer?
Bart, is your boss a crook?
I don't think so. Although it would explain an awful lot.
Me and the boys wish to thank you for hanging onto this stuff for us.
Thanks... uh... Say, are you guys crooks?
Bart, um... is it wrong to steal a loaf of bread to feed your starving family?
Well, suppose you got a large starving family. Is it wrong to steal a truckload of bread to feed them?
And what if your family don't like bread, they like cigarettes?
I guess that's okay.
Now, what if instead of giving them away, you sold them at a price that was practically giving them away. Would that be a crime, Bart?
Hell no!
Enjoy your gift.
Supoib.
THOSE FINGERS THROUGH MY HAIR / THAT SLY COME HITHER STARE / THAT STRIPS MY CONSCIENCE BARE / IT'S WITCHCRAFT - GIMME THREE FINGERS OF MILK, MA.
I know it's good for a boy to have a part-time job, but I'm not sure about the people Bart's working for. I thinks they're criminals.
The kiss of death. That's all I need!
A job's a job. I mean, take me. If my plant pollutes the water and poisons the town, by your logic that would make me a criminal.
Well, Bart's been acting very strangely. And that pizza delivery truck has been parked across the street for two weeks.
How long does it take to deliver a pizza?
Looks like our cover's blown.
Let's roll.
See? It was all your imagination.
Homer, I want you to go down to that club and talk to them. Just see what kind of people they are. Please, Homie?
Oh, all right.
Hee hee, hee-hee-hee! Read 'em and weep boys, another pair of sixes.
Beats me.
I was bluffin'.
You win again, Homer.
I am thrilled you've decided to let your boy continue to work here.
You know if you need a hat check girl, I've got a daughter.
Homer, you're a hellava father.
Homer, what did you find out?
Marge, the only thing going on down there was a lot of male bonding.
More "stink lines" boys.
What's this? What are you boys doing?
You ain't seen nothin'. Now beat it.
So, Fat Tony. You invite me and my associates to your club with the promise of the finest Manhattans in all of Springfield. Now you say your bartender isn't here?
I don't know what happened. He's never late. Louie! Make up some Manhattans.
But I only know how to make wine spritzers.
What have I done to deserve this flat, flavorless Manhattan?
Come on, boys.

And instead of being pure chocolate like we have today, it was mixed with shredded tobacco. And they didn't eat it. They smoked it.

You didn't believe me when I said it would be fun, did you?

No thir.

Please, kids, play sanitary.

Tan Die Doe Dow?

Tan... Die.... Doe... Dow.

Hmm... Well there's still a minute to go... oh, why not! But don't you tell your teacher I let you go home early.

Die don't.

What next?

Hey, what's with the kid?

Hands off the material!

Whaddaya know! The kid's tough.

He's got spunk.

I wonder if he is lucky also. Pick a horse, kid. Shelbyville Downs. Third race. Make it a good one.

Eat my shorts.

Eat my shorts. Ah, okay. Let's see... Heyy... Wait a minute, you little punk! Eat My Shorts is in the fifth race. I said the third race!

Don't have a cow.

Hmm... "Don't have a cow" in the third. Put a deuce on him.

While we are waiting to see how lucky you are, let me show you around. This is our bar, and over there is our slot machine and card tables....

Hey Boss! Here's the call for the third race.

...As they come out of the turn it's "Sufferin Succotash" by a neck over "Yabbadabbadoo." Two lengths back to "Ain't I a Stinker" and "That's All Folks." "I Yam What I Yam" can see them all. But here comes "Donhavacow" flyin' on the outside. And at the wire it's all "Donhavacow!"

Hey, I like this kid. I can't believe we were gonna shoot him. Can you mix drinks?

I don't know.

I'll have a Manhattan.

Make Legs a Manhattan.

I'm not sure I...

Supoib.

You got a job? Doing what?

Oh... I dunno... mixing drinks, picking horses, cuttin' cigars... you know -- a job.

Bart, your father and I don't want you doing that. Homer, say something.

How much does it pay?

Thirty bucks a week.

Pfft. I make more than that.

I was lookin' for those. Thanks, doll.

It's funny because it's true.

Well obsoived.

Chief Wiggum, you honor us with your presence.

Baloney. I'm not gonna rest until one of us is behind bars -- You! You wouldn't happen to know anything about a cigarette truck that got hijacked on route 401?

What's a truck?

Don't play dumb with me!

Relax Chief, you seem tense. You know, the boy here makes an excellent Manhattan.

Ah... I'm still gonna put you away, you know.

Good for you, Chief.

... Bart! Have you started smoking?

Don't lie to me boy.

Aha! Cigarettes, just as I thought.

They're not mine. My boss said his warehouse was full.

Yeah, right. Son... I'm gonna teach you a lesson. I'm going to stand here and watch you smoke every one of those cigarettes. Then maybe you'll learn...

Uh... Fat Tony sent me over to pick up the goods.

Right in here my man.

Hey kid, you look good with that cigarette. Kind of sophisticated.

Son, I'll never doubt you again.

The contents of the hijacked truck: some twelve thousand cartons of Laramie 100's.

Homer? Homer!

We have... uh... Please, we have a number of leads. And let me assure all you smokers out there... there is no shortage of cigarettes.

How do we know that?

All right, let me refer that question back to Jack Larson, of Laramie Tobacco Products. Jack?

Thank you Chief. Folks, I'm pleased to announce that a new truckload of Laramies with their smooth good taste and rich tobacco flavor is already heading towards Springfield. And the driver has been instructed to ignore all stop signs and crosswalks.

The police suspect the involvement of reputed mobster William "Fat Tony" Williams.

Fat Tony is a cancer on this fair city. He is the cancer and I am the... uh... ... what cures cancer?

Bart, is your boss a crook?

I don't think so. Although it would explain an awful lot.

Me and the boys wish to thank you for hanging onto this stuff for us.

Thanks... uh... Say, are you guys crooks?

Bart, um... is it wrong to steal a loaf of bread to feed your starving family?

Well, suppose you got a large starving family. Is it wrong to steal a truckload of bread to feed them?

And what if your family don't like bread, they like cigarettes?

I guess that's okay.

Now, what if instead of giving them away, you sold them at a price that was practically giving them away. Would that be a crime, Bart?

Hell no!

Enjoy your gift.

Supoib.

THOSE FINGERS THROUGH MY HAIR / THAT SLY COME HITHER STARE / THAT STRIPS MY CONSCIENCE BARE / IT'S WITCHCRAFT - GIMME THREE FINGERS OF MILK, MA.

I know it's good for a boy to have a part-time job, but I'm not sure about the people Bart's working for. I thinks they're criminals.

The kiss of death. That's all I need!

A job's a job. I mean, take me. If my plant pollutes the water and poisons the town, by your logic that would make me a criminal.

Well, Bart's been acting very strangely. And that pizza delivery truck has been parked across the street for two weeks.

How long does it take to deliver a pizza?

Looks like our cover's blown.

Let's roll.

See? It was all your imagination.

Homer, I want you to go down to that club and talk to them. Just see what kind of people they are. Please, Homie?

Oh, all right.

Hee hee, hee-hee-hee! Read 'em and weep boys, another pair of sixes.

Beats me.

I was bluffin'.

You win again, Homer.

I am thrilled you've decided to let your boy continue to work here.

You know if you need a hat check girl, I've got a daughter.

Homer, you're a hellava father.

Homer, what did you find out?

Marge, the only thing going on down there was a lot of male bonding.

More "stink lines" boys.

What's this? What are you boys doing?

You ain't seen nothin'. Now beat it.

So, Fat Tony. You invite me and my associates to your club with the promise of the finest Manhattans in all of Springfield. Now you say your bartender isn't here?

I don't know what happened. He's never late. Louie! Make up some Manhattans.

But I only know how to make wine spritzers.

What have I done to deserve this flat, flavorless Manhattan?

Come on, boys.