jamesliu23/simpsons · Datasets at Hugging Face

text stringlengths 7 697
Okay. We're sorry. This time we're really gonna give it to you.
Hey, stop that.
Hey Lis, something wrong?
Not any more. You punks are about to get a taste of your own medicine. This is my brother... and he knows Karate.
Oh, we're real scared.
Please don't hurt us, Bart!
What are you gonna do, throw your diapers at us?
Yeah, just keep laughing, it only makes him madder. Come on, Bart, start them off with the touch of death and go from there.
I think they've learned their lesson already, Lis.
No, we want to see the touch of death.
Yeah, come on Karate kid. Waste me!
It's funny how two wrongs sometimes make a right.
Homer! Over here!
Oh, Flanders, I, uh, want to give you your stuff back.
Well, there's no house to put it in, Homer, not since that nice fellow from the bank, who was only doing his job, came and locked it up.
You're gonna live in your car?
Oh, oh, no, it's just a little campout tonight, then off to my sister's apartment in Capital City. Hey what do think, kids? The big city!
Say, Todd, I want to talk to your Uncle Homer. You're head of the car till I get back.
Okay, Dad. GRAY SKIES ARE GONNA CLEAR UP /
PUT ON A HAPPY FACE / BRUSH OFF THE CLOUDS AND CHEER UP / PUT ON A HAPPY FACE /
TAKE OFF THE GLOOMY MASK OF TRAGEDY / IT'S NOT YOUR STYLE / YOU'LL LOOK SO GOOD THAT YOU'LL BE GLAD YOU DECIDED TO SMILE / TAKE OUT A PLEASANT OUTLOOK / STICK OUT THAT NOBLE CHIN / WIPE OUT THAT FULL OF DOUBT LOOK / PUT ON A HAPPY GRIN / AND SPREAD SUNSHINE / ALL OVER THE PLACE / JUST PUT ON A HAPPY FACE.
Listen to that singing... those poor fools. Homer, I'm ruined.
I know!
You know at times like these, I-I used to turn to the Bible and find solace. But even the good book can't help me now.
Why not?
I sold it to you for seven cents.
You know, ever since that barbecue, nothing's gone right. It's like there's been a-a curse on me.
Oh, it's all my fault.
No it's not.
Yes it is.
No! You tried to warn me about gambling my family's future on some pig in a poke... I didn't listen. Homer, you were a true friend.
No, I was a swine.
Listen, Flanders, do you still have that store?
For two more days. Then it becomes Libertarian Party headquarters. I hope they have better luck than I did.
Flanders, you open that store tomorrow!
Oh, Homer, there's no point...
I SAID DO IT!
Hello, Jerry? Homer Simpson. Remember last month, when I paid back that loan? Well, now I need you to do a favor for me.
A left-handed corkscrew? Oh, baby!
"Kiss Me, I'm Left-Handed"? That's a classic!
Homer Simpson's on the phone.
Tell him I went out.
He needs you to help Ned Flanders.
Ned Flanders is in trouble!?
Smithers, I'm licked. You open this can.
Okay, but you softened it up for me, sir.
Hold it, Smithers! I'll open the can!
But sir, how?
To the mall! I'll explain on the way!
Hurry, Neddie, hurry! Oh golly, it's a miracle!
C'mon, you lefties. What'd I tell you?
It's all here, and it's all backwards. That's right.
The world has turned has it not my tin-plated friend? Look at you -- you, who were once so proud -- Feel the wrath of the left hand of Burns!
My life begins today!
Wow! What an icebreaker!
Left-handed ledgers! Now I can write all the way to the edge!
Ah ha ha... left-handed Nunchuks.
The boys at the Diners Club will think I've gone quite mad. Oh, and I'll have that roadster in the corner as well.
Yes, sir!
Huzzah for the shopkeep!
Homer, affordable tract housing made us neighbors. But you made us friends.
To Ned Flanders... the richest left- handed man in town.
Everybody! GREY SKIES ARE GONNA CLEAR UP /
STICK OUT THAT NOBLE CHIN / WIPE OFF THAT FULL OF DOUBT LOOK / SLAP ON A HAPPY GRIN / AND SPREAD SUNSHINE ALL OVER THE PLACE / JUST PUT ON A HAPPY FACE!
Good mornin' world!
Good morning Lisa!
What are you so happy about?
Why shouldn't I be happy? It's a beautiful day, my homework is done, I've got my mojo workin' and we're goin' on a field trip this afternoon.
And... looks like I got me a genuine glow-in-the-dark police badge.
Hey! It's not in here. You stole it!
No one wants your stupid police badge, Bart.
Hey, look what I got. A genuine official police badge... Calling all cars... come out with your hands up!
Hey, that's my badge, Homer.
That's Officer Homer. Heh heh, heh, heh.
... Lousy prize-grabbing... badge-wearing...
You ate my homework?
I didn't know dogs really did that.
Wait! Wait!
Bart Simpson! You're late! Go fill out a tardy slip.
But I'm only... ... ... five... ten... twenty... forty minutes? That's pretty damn late.
Hey girls! Look at me!
You can stop lookin' at me now.
Well, it's nearly one o'clock. And you know what that means.
My glasses.
That's right. It's time for our field trip to the chocolate factory. I trust you all remembered to bring your permission slips.
What a day.
I'm gonna eat EIGHT pieces of chocolate.
I'm gonna eat chocolate till I barf.
Don't worry, Bart, we'll find something fun for you to do.
Ah! Here we are! Here's a whole box of unsealed envelopes for the PTA.
You're making me lick envelopes?
Oh, licking envelopes can be fun! All you have to do is make a game of it.
What kind of game?
Well... for example... you could see how many you can lick in an hour, and then try to break that record.
Sounds like a pretty crappy game to me.
Yes... well... get started.
Oh my God. It's Cocoa Beanie himself.
I think this is something Bart would really have enjoyed. But it's the only way he'll learn.
Welcome to the chocolate factory. I'm Troy McClure. You probably remember me from such films as "The Revenge of Abe Lincoln" and "The Wackiest Covered Wagon in the West." The history of chocolate starts with the ancient Aztecs.
In those days, instead of being wrapped in a hygienic package, chocolate was wrapped in a tobacco leaf.

Okay. We're sorry. This time we're really gonna give it to you.

Hey, stop that.

Hey Lis, something wrong?

Not any more. You punks are about to get a taste of your own medicine. This is my brother... and he knows Karate.

Oh, we're real scared.

Please don't hurt us, Bart!

What are you gonna do, throw your diapers at us?

Yeah, just keep laughing, it only makes him madder. Come on, Bart, start them off with the touch of death and go from there.

I think they've learned their lesson already, Lis.

No, we want to see the touch of death.

Yeah, come on Karate kid. Waste me!

It's funny how two wrongs sometimes make a right.

Homer! Over here!

Oh, Flanders, I, uh, want to give you your stuff back.

Well, there's no house to put it in, Homer, not since that nice fellow from the bank, who was only doing his job, came and locked it up.

You're gonna live in your car?

Oh, oh, no, it's just a little campout tonight, then off to my sister's apartment in Capital City. Hey what do think, kids? The big city!

Say, Todd, I want to talk to your Uncle Homer. You're head of the car till I get back.

Okay, Dad. GRAY SKIES ARE GONNA CLEAR UP /

PUT ON A HAPPY FACE / BRUSH OFF THE CLOUDS AND CHEER UP / PUT ON A HAPPY FACE /

TAKE OFF THE GLOOMY MASK OF TRAGEDY / IT'S NOT YOUR STYLE / YOU'LL LOOK SO GOOD THAT YOU'LL BE GLAD YOU DECIDED TO SMILE / TAKE OUT A PLEASANT OUTLOOK / STICK OUT THAT NOBLE CHIN / WIPE OUT THAT FULL OF DOUBT LOOK / PUT ON A HAPPY GRIN / AND SPREAD SUNSHINE / ALL OVER THE PLACE / JUST PUT ON A HAPPY FACE.

Listen to that singing... those poor fools. Homer, I'm ruined.

I know!

You know at times like these, I-I used to turn to the Bible and find solace. But even the good book can't help me now.

Why not?

I sold it to you for seven cents.

You know, ever since that barbecue, nothing's gone right. It's like there's been a-a curse on me.

Oh, it's all my fault.

No it's not.

Yes it is.

No! You tried to warn me about gambling my family's future on some pig in a poke... I didn't listen. Homer, you were a true friend.

No, I was a swine.

Listen, Flanders, do you still have that store?

For two more days. Then it becomes Libertarian Party headquarters. I hope they have better luck than I did.

Flanders, you open that store tomorrow!

Oh, Homer, there's no point...

I SAID DO IT!

Hello, Jerry? Homer Simpson. Remember last month, when I paid back that loan? Well, now I need you to do a favor for me.

A left-handed corkscrew? Oh, baby!

"Kiss Me, I'm Left-Handed"? That's a classic!

Homer Simpson's on the phone.

Tell him I went out.

He needs you to help Ned Flanders.

Ned Flanders is in trouble!?

Smithers, I'm licked. You open this can.

Okay, but you softened it up for me, sir.

Hold it, Smithers! I'll open the can!

But sir, how?

To the mall! I'll explain on the way!

Hurry, Neddie, hurry! Oh golly, it's a miracle!

C'mon, you lefties. What'd I tell you?

It's all here, and it's all backwards. That's right.

The world has turned has it not my tin-plated friend? Look at you -- you, who were once so proud -- Feel the wrath of the left hand of Burns!

My life begins today!

Wow! What an icebreaker!

Left-handed ledgers! Now I can write all the way to the edge!

Ah ha ha... left-handed Nunchuks.

The boys at the Diners Club will think I've gone quite mad. Oh, and I'll have that roadster in the corner as well.

Yes, sir!

Huzzah for the shopkeep!

Homer, affordable tract housing made us neighbors. But you made us friends.

To Ned Flanders... the richest left- handed man in town.

Everybody! GREY SKIES ARE GONNA CLEAR UP /

STICK OUT THAT NOBLE CHIN / WIPE OFF THAT FULL OF DOUBT LOOK / SLAP ON A HAPPY GRIN / AND SPREAD SUNSHINE ALL OVER THE PLACE / JUST PUT ON A HAPPY FACE!

Good mornin' world!

Good morning Lisa!

What are you so happy about?

Why shouldn't I be happy? It's a beautiful day, my homework is done, I've got my mojo workin' and we're goin' on a field trip this afternoon.

And... looks like I got me a genuine glow-in-the-dark police badge.

Hey! It's not in here. You stole it!

No one wants your stupid police badge, Bart.

Hey, look what I got. A genuine official police badge... Calling all cars... come out with your hands up!

Hey, that's my badge, Homer.

That's Officer Homer. Heh heh, heh, heh.

... Lousy prize-grabbing... badge-wearing...

You ate my homework?

I didn't know dogs really did that.

Wait! Wait!

Bart Simpson! You're late! Go fill out a tardy slip.

But I'm only... ... ... five... ten... twenty... forty minutes? That's pretty damn late.

Hey girls! Look at me!

You can stop lookin' at me now.

Well, it's nearly one o'clock. And you know what that means.

My glasses.

That's right. It's time for our field trip to the chocolate factory. I trust you all remembered to bring your permission slips.

What a day.

I'm gonna eat EIGHT pieces of chocolate.

I'm gonna eat chocolate till I barf.

Don't worry, Bart, we'll find something fun for you to do.

Ah! Here we are! Here's a whole box of unsealed envelopes for the PTA.

You're making me lick envelopes?

Oh, licking envelopes can be fun! All you have to do is make a game of it.

What kind of game?

Well... for example... you could see how many you can lick in an hour, and then try to break that record.

Sounds like a pretty crappy game to me.

Yes... well... get started.

Oh my God. It's Cocoa Beanie himself.

I think this is something Bart would really have enjoyed. But it's the only way he'll learn.

Welcome to the chocolate factory. I'm Troy McClure. You probably remember me from such films as "The Revenge of Abe Lincoln" and "The Wackiest Covered Wagon in the West." The history of chocolate starts with the ancient Aztecs.

In those days, instead of being wrapped in a hygienic package, chocolate was wrapped in a tobacco leaf.