jamesliu23/simpsons · Datasets at Hugging Face

text stringlengths 7 697
Patty, Selma, would you excuse me for a moment?
If you're going for a beer, this is the last one.
I decided to mix the little bits that were left in every liquor bottle.
In my haste I had grabbed a bottle of the kids' cough syrup.
It passed the first test: I didn't go blind.
They say everyone can float in the Dead Sea, but Selma sank right to the bottom.
I don't know the scientific explanation, but fire made it good.
Whoa, sounds like one hell of a drink. What do you call it?
A "Flaming Homer".
Okay, why don't you make us up a couple of "Flaming Homers"?
Hey Moe, you got any cough syrup?
Uh, let me check the lost and found.
What do we got here, Bowie knife, troll doll, glass eye...
Oh. Here we are.
It's not without its charm.
Try lighting it on fire.
Whoa! Homer, it's like there's a party in my mouth and everyone's invited.
Hey, your Love Tester's busted. I want my nickel back.
Hey, buddy. Have one on the house.
Hey, hey, this drink is delicious! And my phlegm feels looser. What do you call it?
Well, it's called a "Flaming...
Moe! It's called a "Flaming Moe"! That's right, a "Flaming Moe". My name is Moe, and I invented it. That's why it's called a Flaming Moe. What? What are you lookin' at, Homer? It's a Flaming Moe I'm Moe.
Hey, what's this?
A sneeze guard.
Wow, it really works.
I'll be back.
Moe, I haven't seen the place this crowded since the government cracked down on you for accepting food stamps. Do you think my drink had something to do with it?
Who can say? It's probably a combination of things.
Another pitcher of those amazing "Flaming Moe's".
Boy, I hate this joint, but I love that drink.
Barkeep, I couldn't help noticing your sign.
The one that says, "Bartenders Do It 'Til You Barf"?
No, above that store-bought drollery.
Oh great! Why don't we fill out an application? I'll need your name, measurements and turn ons..
You really expect me to tell you my measurements?
You could, but I find this way is much more accurate... and fun.
what do you offer in the way of salary?
Minimum wage and tips. Of course there are fringe benefits.
Such as?
An unforgettable weekend at Club Moe.
I prefer to take my vacations someplace hot.
I like your moxie, kid. You're hired.
You shan't regret this.
Methinks I shan't.
Pardon me, are you the genius behind the "Flaming Moe"?
Why yes I --
I'm your man.
Huh uh. My name is Harv Bannister. I work for "Tipsy McStagger's Good Time Drinking and Eating Emporium".
Oh yeah? Hey, what's Mr. McStagger really like?
Actually, there is no Tipsy McStagger. He's just a composite of other successful logos.
Well, you tell him from me that he makes one great mozzarella stick.
Yes, fine, I will. Anyway, I've got a proposition for you.
Keep talkin'.
We feel your "Flaming Moe" is perfect for our restaurant chain. We want to buy the recipe.
No dice. The "Flaming Moe" is not for sale. Do you know how much of my blood and sweat are in this drink?
Good for you, Moe. Only an idiot would give away a million dollar idea like that.
So the next time you use a gas chromatograph, remember to thank Mister A.J.P Martin.
Brilliant Martin, brilliant. Once again you've wrecked the grading curve. Oh, I pity the poor student who has to follow you. Bart Simpson? You're next.
"The Inventor I Admire", by Bart Simpson. The inventor I admire is, not a rich man, or a famous man, or even a smart man. He's my father, Homer Simpson, creator of... the "Flaming Homer"!
The "Flaming Homer"? You mean the "Flaming Moe". And your dad didn't invent it, ya wuss. Moe the bartender did.
Yes, everyone knows that.
It's not true! My father invented that drink, and if you'll allow me to demonstrate...
Bart, are those liquor bottles?
I brought enough for everybody.
Take those to the teacher's lounge. You can have what's left at the end of the day.
Good evening, Krusty.
Nice to see you, Bernard.
Thank you very much. Right this way.
Krusty, over here!
What the--?
Henceforth, this date shall forever be known as "Flaming Moe's Day."
Uh, sir, this is already Veteran's Day.
It can be two things!
Mom, instead of milk for dinner, can I have a "Virgin Moe?"
Honey, what's wrong?
I'll tell you what's wrong. That rotten Moe is getting rich off a recipe i gave him!
Take that off this second!
Homie, why don't you just go down to Moe's and talk to him? I bet he'd be willing to share some of his success with you.
Nah... Marge, I'm too upset to eat -- I think I'll go to Moe's. .
Can I help you sir?
I need to talk to Moe.
Your name's not on the list.
I didn't even tell you my name.
Okay, what's your name?
Homer Simpson.
Not on the list.
We're all filled up. Fire laws.
Ladies and gentlemen, some new buddies of mine stopped by tonight. Maybe we can get 'em to come up here. How about a warm "Flaming Moe's" welcome for Aerosmith!
I don't think so, Moe. / Yeah, we're just hangin' out.
C'mon, guys. Free pickled eggs.
Hello, St. Lewis!
Uh, that's Springfield, Steven.
Uh, yeah, right. Are you ready to rock?!
Yeah!!!
I said, are you ready to rock?!
Yeah!!!
Hit it!!
WELL THERE'S A BACK SEAT LOVER, THAT'S ALWAYS UNDER COVER,
AND I TALK TO MY DAD, HE SAY/ HE SAID, YOU AIN'T SEEN NOTHIN' TILL YOU'RE DOWN ON A MUFFIN AND YOU'RE SURE TO BE CHANGIN' YOUR WAYS/ I MET A CHEERLEADER WAS A REAL YOUNG BLEEDER OH THE TIMES I COULD REMINISCE/ TO THE BEST THINGS OF LOVIN' WITH HER SISTER AND HER COUSIN AND THEY STARTED WITH A LITTLE KISS/
Barney?

Patty, Selma, would you excuse me for a moment?

If you're going for a beer, this is the last one.

I decided to mix the little bits that were left in every liquor bottle.

In my haste I had grabbed a bottle of the kids' cough syrup.

It passed the first test: I didn't go blind.

They say everyone can float in the Dead Sea, but Selma sank right to the bottom.

I don't know the scientific explanation, but fire made it good.

Whoa, sounds like one hell of a drink. What do you call it?

A "Flaming Homer".

Okay, why don't you make us up a couple of "Flaming Homers"?

Hey Moe, you got any cough syrup?

Uh, let me check the lost and found.

What do we got here, Bowie knife, troll doll, glass eye...

Oh. Here we are.

It's not without its charm.

Try lighting it on fire.

Whoa! Homer, it's like there's a party in my mouth and everyone's invited.

Hey, your Love Tester's busted. I want my nickel back.

Hey, buddy. Have one on the house.

Hey, hey, this drink is delicious! And my phlegm feels looser. What do you call it?

Well, it's called a "Flaming...

Moe! It's called a "Flaming Moe"! That's right, a "Flaming Moe". My name is Moe, and I invented it. That's why it's called a Flaming Moe. What? What are you lookin' at, Homer? It's a Flaming Moe I'm Moe.

Hey, what's this?

A sneeze guard.

Wow, it really works.

I'll be back.

Moe, I haven't seen the place this crowded since the government cracked down on you for accepting food stamps. Do you think my drink had something to do with it?

Who can say? It's probably a combination of things.

Another pitcher of those amazing "Flaming Moe's".

Boy, I hate this joint, but I love that drink.

Barkeep, I couldn't help noticing your sign.

The one that says, "Bartenders Do It 'Til You Barf"?

No, above that store-bought drollery.

Oh great! Why don't we fill out an application? I'll need your name, measurements and turn ons..

You really expect me to tell you my measurements?

You could, but I find this way is much more accurate... and fun.

what do you offer in the way of salary?

Minimum wage and tips. Of course there are fringe benefits.

Such as?

An unforgettable weekend at Club Moe.

I prefer to take my vacations someplace hot.

I like your moxie, kid. You're hired.

You shan't regret this.

Methinks I shan't.

Pardon me, are you the genius behind the "Flaming Moe"?

Why yes I --

I'm your man.

Huh uh. My name is Harv Bannister. I work for "Tipsy McStagger's Good Time Drinking and Eating Emporium".

Oh yeah? Hey, what's Mr. McStagger really like?

Actually, there is no Tipsy McStagger. He's just a composite of other successful logos.

Well, you tell him from me that he makes one great mozzarella stick.

Yes, fine, I will. Anyway, I've got a proposition for you.

Keep talkin'.

We feel your "Flaming Moe" is perfect for our restaurant chain. We want to buy the recipe.

No dice. The "Flaming Moe" is not for sale. Do you know how much of my blood and sweat are in this drink?

Good for you, Moe. Only an idiot would give away a million dollar idea like that.

So the next time you use a gas chromatograph, remember to thank Mister A.J.P Martin.

Brilliant Martin, brilliant. Once again you've wrecked the grading curve. Oh, I pity the poor student who has to follow you. Bart Simpson? You're next.

"The Inventor I Admire", by Bart Simpson. The inventor I admire is, not a rich man, or a famous man, or even a smart man. He's my father, Homer Simpson, creator of... the "Flaming Homer"!

The "Flaming Homer"? You mean the "Flaming Moe". And your dad didn't invent it, ya wuss. Moe the bartender did.

Yes, everyone knows that.

It's not true! My father invented that drink, and if you'll allow me to demonstrate...

Bart, are those liquor bottles?

I brought enough for everybody.

Take those to the teacher's lounge. You can have what's left at the end of the day.

Good evening, Krusty.

Nice to see you, Bernard.

Thank you very much. Right this way.

Krusty, over here!

What the--?

Henceforth, this date shall forever be known as "Flaming Moe's Day."

Uh, sir, this is already Veteran's Day.

It can be two things!

Mom, instead of milk for dinner, can I have a "Virgin Moe?"

Honey, what's wrong?

I'll tell you what's wrong. That rotten Moe is getting rich off a recipe i gave him!

Take that off this second!

Homie, why don't you just go down to Moe's and talk to him? I bet he'd be willing to share some of his success with you.

Nah... Marge, I'm too upset to eat -- I think I'll go to Moe's. .

Can I help you sir?

I need to talk to Moe.

Your name's not on the list.

I didn't even tell you my name.

Okay, what's your name?

Homer Simpson.

Not on the list.

We're all filled up. Fire laws.

Ladies and gentlemen, some new buddies of mine stopped by tonight. Maybe we can get 'em to come up here. How about a warm "Flaming Moe's" welcome for Aerosmith!

I don't think so, Moe. / Yeah, we're just hangin' out.

C'mon, guys. Free pickled eggs.

Hello, St. Lewis!

Uh, that's Springfield, Steven.

Uh, yeah, right. Are you ready to rock?!

Yeah!!!

I said, are you ready to rock?!

Yeah!!!

Hit it!!

WELL THERE'S A BACK SEAT LOVER, THAT'S ALWAYS UNDER COVER,

AND I TALK TO MY DAD, HE SAY/ HE SAID, YOU AIN'T SEEN NOTHIN' TILL YOU'RE DOWN ON A MUFFIN AND YOU'RE SURE TO BE CHANGIN' YOUR WAYS/ I MET A CHEERLEADER WAS A REAL YOUNG BLEEDER OH THE TIMES I COULD REMINISCE/ TO THE BEST THINGS OF LOVIN' WITH HER SISTER AND HER COUSIN AND THEY STARTED WITH A LITTLE KISS/

Barney?