jamesliu23/simpsons · Datasets at Hugging Face

text stringlengths 7 697
Hey, Homer. I want you to meet my friends, Armando and Raffi.
Hey, Moe, get up here!
Walk this way.
Walk this way.
Walk this way.
Hiya, Scrumptious. Do you want to ignite my drink?
You're my kid's teacher!
Single parent, are we?
Well, let's pretend you are.
Get away from me.
Hey, Moe?
Oh, hiya, Homer. How 'bout a beer?
I'd rather have a "Flaming Homer".
A what? Oh, I get it.
How could you do this to me, Moe? This bar was going under and it was the drink I invented that saved it.
If there was any justice, my face would be on a bunch of crappy merchandise.
Morris, is what this man's saying true?
Well, it's hard to say. He may have come up with the recipe, but I came up with the idea of charging six ninety-five for it.
Whoop, telephone.
Flaming Moe's.
Uh, yes, I'm looking for a friend of mine. Last name Jass, first name Hugh.
Hold on. I'll check. Hugh Jass, Oh, somebody check the men's room for a Hugh Jass.
Oh, I'm Hugh Jass.
Telephone.
Hello, this is Hugh Jass.
Uh... hi.
Who's this?
Bart Simpson.
What can I do for you, Bart?
Uh, look. I'll level with you, mister. This is a crank call that sorta backfired and I'd like to bail out right now.
All right. Better luck next time. What a nice young man.
Homer, I'm sorry you're mad at me, but this isn't personal. This is business.
Business, eh? Well let me tell you something. You just lost yourself a customer!
What? I'm sorry. Homer, I couldn't hear you.
I said, you just lost yourself a customer!
You just lost yourself a customer.
Homer, you're gonna have to speak up!
You just lost yourself a customer, Moe!
I lost myself to what?
You just lost yourself a customer.
Homer, I'll talk to you tomorrow.
You just lost yourself a customer.
Yeah, you can use it!
WHEN THE WEIGHT OF THE WORLD HAS GOT YOU DOWN/ AND YOU WANT TO END YOUR LIFE/ BILLS TO PAY, A DEAD-END JOB/ and PROBLEMS WITH THE WIFE/ BUT DON'T THROW IN THE TOWEL/ 'CAUSE THERE'S A PLACE RIGHT DOWN THE BLOCK/ WHERE YOU CAN DRINK YOUR MISERY AWAY/ AT FLAM-ING MOE'S/ LET'S ALL GO TO FLAMING MOE'S/ LET'S ALL GO TO FLAMING MOE'S/ WHEN LIQUOR IN A MUG/ CAN WARM YOU LIKE A HUG/ AND HAPPINESS IS JUST A FLAMING MOE AWAY/ HAPPINESS IS JUST A FLAMING MOE AWAY.
Barney!
How's the world treatin' you, Mr. Gumble?
Hey, there. What can I do for ya, Harv?
Well sir, Tipsy McStagger would like to buy your drink.
He's here?!
Oh, no, no. I mean my company is willing to do what it takes to get that recipe. We're prepared to offer you one million dollars.
Sorry, Harv, but like I told you before, it ain't for sale.
Don't be stupid. We have a laboratory for this kind of thing. We've got it all figured out except for one ingredient.
Brace yourselves gentlemen. According to the gas chromatograph... the secret ingredient is... love? Who's been screwing with this thing?
I'm sorry, but the secret ingredient dies with me.
Thirty cases of cough syrup. Sign here.
I got hooked on this stuff in the service.
Ah, my new watering hole.
Yeah, what do you want?!
A beer?
Okay, then.
Can I have a clean glass?
Here you go, your majesty.
Next up, a toast to the wizard of Walnut Street.
The Flaming Moe dates back to my forefathers who were bartenders to the Czar.
So, Mr. Hutz, does my husband have a case?
I'm sorry, Mrs. Simpson, but you can't copyright a drink.
Well, this all goes back to the Frank Wallbanger case of '78. How about that? I looked something up! These books behind me don't just make the office look good, they're filled with useful legal tidbits just like that!
Stupid Moe... non-inventing... recipe stealing... pug-nosed...
Well Homer, maybe you can take some consolation in the fact that something you created is making so many people happy.
Oooh! Look at me, I'm making people happy. I'm the Magical Man from Happyland in a gum drop house on Lollipop Lane!
Oh, by the way, I was being sarcastic.
Well, duh.
Now that's what I call a "Happy Hour".
Morris something troubles me.
Don't worry baby, my mother won't be home for another twenty minutes.
No, I was just thinking about Homer Simpson.
That's okay, I was just thinking about Sybil Danning.
I meant I think you should sell your drink and give half the money to Homer.
But honey --
He's your friend, Morris. And you took advantage of him.
Alright, alright. I'll split the million with Homer. Jeepers, Mary and Joseph. I sleep with a chick once, it costs me a half a million bananas.
Moe... Moe... Moe...
Bart, are you going to moe the lawn today?
Okay, but you promised me moe money.
I moe, I moe.
Moe... Moe... Moe.
When Bart's done, can we moe to the moevies? There's a moetinee.
Of course. All work and moe play makes Moe a moe moe.
Moe, Moe, Moe, Moe, Moe, Moe, Moe...
Hey, Homer. Whatsamatter?
Hey, where's Joey?
Mrs. Krabappel, I really need my drum sticks.
Come and get 'em.
You're gonna be a rich man, Moe. I gotta tell you, the way we usually work in these situations is to steal the recipe and run the inventor out of business. C'est la vie.
What the...
Fools! You poor, pathetic, misguided creatures, choking down your Flaming Moe's. All the time wondering, "How does he do it?" Well, I'm going tell you. The secret ingredient is...
Homer, no!
Cough syrup. Nothing but plain, ordinary, over the counter children's cough syrup!
Thank you, Mr. Nutball. Gotta go, Moe. Tough luck.
Holy cow. You just fell on Aerosmith!

Hey, Homer. I want you to meet my friends, Armando and Raffi.

Hey, Moe, get up here!

Walk this way.

Hiya, Scrumptious. Do you want to ignite my drink?

You're my kid's teacher!

Single parent, are we?

Well, let's pretend you are.

Get away from me.

Hey, Moe?

Oh, hiya, Homer. How 'bout a beer?

I'd rather have a "Flaming Homer".

A what? Oh, I get it.

How could you do this to me, Moe? This bar was going under and it was the drink I invented that saved it.

If there was any justice, my face would be on a bunch of crappy merchandise.

Morris, is what this man's saying true?

Well, it's hard to say. He may have come up with the recipe, but I came up with the idea of charging six ninety-five for it.

Whoop, telephone.

Flaming Moe's.

Uh, yes, I'm looking for a friend of mine. Last name Jass, first name Hugh.

Hold on. I'll check. Hugh Jass, Oh, somebody check the men's room for a Hugh Jass.

Oh, I'm Hugh Jass.

Telephone.

Hello, this is Hugh Jass.

Uh... hi.

Who's this?

Bart Simpson.

What can I do for you, Bart?

Uh, look. I'll level with you, mister. This is a crank call that sorta backfired and I'd like to bail out right now.

All right. Better luck next time. What a nice young man.

Homer, I'm sorry you're mad at me, but this isn't personal. This is business.

Business, eh? Well let me tell you something. You just lost yourself a customer!

What? I'm sorry. Homer, I couldn't hear you.

I said, you just lost yourself a customer!

You just lost yourself a customer.

Homer, you're gonna have to speak up!

You just lost yourself a customer, Moe!

I lost myself to what?

You just lost yourself a customer.

Homer, I'll talk to you tomorrow.

You just lost yourself a customer.

Yeah, you can use it!

WHEN THE WEIGHT OF THE WORLD HAS GOT YOU DOWN/ AND YOU WANT TO END YOUR LIFE/ BILLS TO PAY, A DEAD-END JOB/ and PROBLEMS WITH THE WIFE/ BUT DON'T THROW IN THE TOWEL/ 'CAUSE THERE'S A PLACE RIGHT DOWN THE BLOCK/ WHERE YOU CAN DRINK YOUR MISERY AWAY/ AT FLAM-ING MOE'S/ LET'S ALL GO TO FLAMING MOE'S/ LET'S ALL GO TO FLAMING MOE'S/ WHEN LIQUOR IN A MUG/ CAN WARM YOU LIKE A HUG/ AND HAPPINESS IS JUST A FLAMING MOE AWAY/ HAPPINESS IS JUST A FLAMING MOE AWAY.

Barney!

How's the world treatin' you, Mr. Gumble?

Hey, there. What can I do for ya, Harv?

Well sir, Tipsy McStagger would like to buy your drink.

He's here?!

Oh, no, no. I mean my company is willing to do what it takes to get that recipe. We're prepared to offer you one million dollars.

Sorry, Harv, but like I told you before, it ain't for sale.

Don't be stupid. We have a laboratory for this kind of thing. We've got it all figured out except for one ingredient.

Brace yourselves gentlemen. According to the gas chromatograph... the secret ingredient is... love? Who's been screwing with this thing?

I'm sorry, but the secret ingredient dies with me.

Thirty cases of cough syrup. Sign here.

I got hooked on this stuff in the service.

Ah, my new watering hole.

Yeah, what do you want?!

A beer?

Okay, then.

Can I have a clean glass?

Here you go, your majesty.

Next up, a toast to the wizard of Walnut Street.

The Flaming Moe dates back to my forefathers who were bartenders to the Czar.

So, Mr. Hutz, does my husband have a case?

I'm sorry, Mrs. Simpson, but you can't copyright a drink.

Well, this all goes back to the Frank Wallbanger case of '78. How about that? I looked something up! These books behind me don't just make the office look good, they're filled with useful legal tidbits just like that!

Stupid Moe... non-inventing... recipe stealing... pug-nosed...

Well Homer, maybe you can take some consolation in the fact that something you created is making so many people happy.

Oooh! Look at me, I'm making people happy. I'm the Magical Man from Happyland in a gum drop house on Lollipop Lane!

Oh, by the way, I was being sarcastic.

Well, duh.

Now that's what I call a "Happy Hour".

Morris something troubles me.

Don't worry baby, my mother won't be home for another twenty minutes.

No, I was just thinking about Homer Simpson.

That's okay, I was just thinking about Sybil Danning.

I meant I think you should sell your drink and give half the money to Homer.

But honey --

He's your friend, Morris. And you took advantage of him.

Alright, alright. I'll split the million with Homer. Jeepers, Mary and Joseph. I sleep with a chick once, it costs me a half a million bananas.

Moe... Moe... Moe...

Bart, are you going to moe the lawn today?

Okay, but you promised me moe money.

I moe, I moe.

Moe... Moe... Moe.

When Bart's done, can we moe to the moevies? There's a moetinee.

Of course. All work and moe play makes Moe a moe moe.

Moe, Moe, Moe, Moe, Moe, Moe, Moe...

Hey, Homer. Whatsamatter?

Hey, where's Joey?

Mrs. Krabappel, I really need my drum sticks.

Come and get 'em.

You're gonna be a rich man, Moe. I gotta tell you, the way we usually work in these situations is to steal the recipe and run the inventor out of business. C'est la vie.

What the...

Fools! You poor, pathetic, misguided creatures, choking down your Flaming Moe's. All the time wondering, "How does he do it?" Well, I'm going tell you. The secret ingredient is...

Homer, no!

Cough syrup. Nothing but plain, ordinary, over the counter children's cough syrup!

Thank you, Mr. Nutball. Gotta go, Moe. Tough luck.

Holy cow. You just fell on Aerosmith!