jamesliu23/simpsons · Datasets at Hugging Face

text stringlengths 7 697
Umm... Oh yeah...
It's Homer!
I don't know what you see in that ugly meatball.
Uh-huh. If you like being pawed by something fat and lazy, we could get a cat.
It would leave less hair on the couch.
You don't know Homer like I do. He's sensitive and sweet.
Homer, do you ever think about the future?
You mean like will apes be our masters?
No, I mean how you plan to earn a living. I can't imagine that job of yours is very stimulating.
But it gives me time to think.
Well, girls I mean I mean boys. I, I mean you!
I think about you, too.
Wow, what an ending? Who'd have thought Darth Vader was Luke Skywalker's father.
Marge, you're as pretty as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda.
Oh, Homer.
YOU LIGHT UP MY DAYS / AND FILL MY NIGHTS / WITH SONG.... IT CAN'T BE WRONG / WHEN IT FEELS SO GOO/RIGHT / CAUSE YOU -- YOU
Our song.
I'll bet the guy she was singing that about was real happy.
Actually, she was singing about God.
Oh. Well he's always happy. No, wait. He's always mad.
Someday I'll buy you a real castle.
You don't have to do that.
Phew, good.
Homer, maybe it's the Champale talking, but I think you're pretty sexy.
Really? It must be the Champale talking.
What if we get caught?
Don't worry. This castle is impregnable!
Pass the cookie dough.
Dust off your hula skirts, Angels, I'm afraid there's been a murder - in Hawaii!
Hawaii it is, Charlie.
Y'ello... Oh, hi Marge...
I need you to drive me to the doctor, Homer.
Why? What's wrong?
Well, that unforgettable night we... joined the Castle Club...
Well, Miss Bouvier. I... I think we found the reason why you've been throwing up in the morning. Congratulations.
... ...
Perhaps this pamphlet will prove helpful.
"So You've Ruined Your Life".
Son, you gotta marry that girl!
Because it's the honorable thing to do?
No, because you'll never do any better. You lucky bum! The fish jumped right in the boat. All you gotta do is whack her with the oar.
Marge, there's something I want to ask you. But I'm afraid, because if you say no it'll destroy me and make me a criminal.
Well, I haven't said no to you lately, have I?
Marge, I... Damn it, where's that card?
What card?
Oh, I wrote down what I was gonna say on a card. Stupid thing must have fallen out of my pocket.
Is this it?
What's it say?
"Marge, from the first moment I saw you I never wanted to be with anyone else. I don't have much to offer you... except all my love. Will you marry me?"
That's the card. Give it here.
Oh, Homer, this is the most beautiful moment of my life!
So... will you marry me?
Woo hoo! Woo hoo! Yeah! She's gonna marry me. In your face, everybody... Woo hoo!
Dad, if the new baby is a girl, can we name her Ariel?
I'm sorry, the baby's name will be Kool Moe Dee Simpson.
Kool Moe Dee.
Kool Moe Dee.
Kool Moe Dee.
You know, I had this very same discussion with your mother ten years ago.
Homer, I've been thinking. If the baby's a boy, what do you think of the name Larry?
Marge, we can't do that! All the kids'll call him Larry Fairy.
Well, how about Louie?
They'll call him Screwy Louie.
Marcus?
Mucous.
What about Bart?
Let's see... Bart, Cart, Dart, Eeart... Nope, can't see any problem with that. Wow! I'll take that ring!
Yes sir, and how will you be paying for it?
I don't know.
Finally, the big day came. We didn't have much money, so we went to a quaint little chapel just across the state line.
Basic ceremony's twenty bucks. Here's your license.
Be sure to get this punched every time. The tenth wedding is on the house.
Hey! This marriage is gonna last forever.
No matter how many times I hear that, it always makes me laugh.
Cletus, do you take Aline to be your lawful wedded wife?
Done. Next.
There certainly are a lot of stains on the ceiling.
Marge, I'm sorry. I wish I could afford a better place.
Homer, I'd be lying if I said that this is how I pictured my wedding day... But you are how I pictured my husband.
Well, you may not look like Ted Bessell, but you're just as nice.
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in the sight of God and this casino to join...
... and...
... in holy matrimony. Beautiful.
Don't be stupid.
Do you, Marjorie Bouvier, take Homer J. Simpson to be your lawful wedded husband?
Homer, same question, names reversed.
Then, by the power vested in me by the state gaming commission, I pronounce you man and wife. Here's ten dollars worth of chips, you may kiss the bride.
What a perfect day.
Our first night together as man and wife.
Hey! Lovebirds! Keep it down!
Look what I got, Marge, a baby monitor.
Baby to Marge. Baby to Marge. Wah! Wah! Over.
Homer, I don't know how we can afford all these things on your salary.
Hey, why don't I apply at the nuclear power plant? I hear they pay pretty well.
I don't know. I heard radiation can make you sterile.
Pfft. Now you tell me.
We only have two openings, so I'm afraid one of you will have to go home empty-handed... But it won't be my old frat buddy, Lou Collier. How ya doin', you old Alpha Tau!
Smithers, you keg-meister, you.
Well, hey, I'm from Alabama Chapter!
I'll be.

Umm... Oh yeah...

It's Homer!

I don't know what you see in that ugly meatball.

Uh-huh. If you like being pawed by something fat and lazy, we could get a cat.

It would leave less hair on the couch.

You don't know Homer like I do. He's sensitive and sweet.

Homer, do you ever think about the future?

You mean like will apes be our masters?

No, I mean how you plan to earn a living. I can't imagine that job of yours is very stimulating.

But it gives me time to think.

Well, girls I mean I mean boys. I, I mean you!

I think about you, too.

Wow, what an ending? Who'd have thought Darth Vader was Luke Skywalker's father.

Marge, you're as pretty as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda.

Oh, Homer.

YOU LIGHT UP MY DAYS / AND FILL MY NIGHTS / WITH SONG.... IT CAN'T BE WRONG / WHEN IT FEELS SO GOO/RIGHT / CAUSE YOU -- YOU

Our song.

I'll bet the guy she was singing that about was real happy.

Actually, she was singing about God.

Oh. Well he's always happy. No, wait. He's always mad.

Someday I'll buy you a real castle.

You don't have to do that.

Phew, good.

Homer, maybe it's the Champale talking, but I think you're pretty sexy.

Really? It must be the Champale talking.

What if we get caught?

Don't worry. This castle is impregnable!

Pass the cookie dough.

Dust off your hula skirts, Angels, I'm afraid there's been a murder - in Hawaii!

Hawaii it is, Charlie.

Y'ello... Oh, hi Marge...

I need you to drive me to the doctor, Homer.

Why? What's wrong?

Well, that unforgettable night we... joined the Castle Club...

Well, Miss Bouvier. I... I think we found the reason why you've been throwing up in the morning. Congratulations.

... ...

Perhaps this pamphlet will prove helpful.

"So You've Ruined Your Life".

Son, you gotta marry that girl!

Because it's the honorable thing to do?

No, because you'll never do any better. You lucky bum! The fish jumped right in the boat. All you gotta do is whack her with the oar.

Marge, there's something I want to ask you. But I'm afraid, because if you say no it'll destroy me and make me a criminal.

Well, I haven't said no to you lately, have I?

Marge, I... Damn it, where's that card?

What card?

Oh, I wrote down what I was gonna say on a card. Stupid thing must have fallen out of my pocket.

Is this it?

What's it say?

"Marge, from the first moment I saw you I never wanted to be with anyone else. I don't have much to offer you... except all my love. Will you marry me?"

That's the card. Give it here.

Oh, Homer, this is the most beautiful moment of my life!

So... will you marry me?

Woo hoo! Woo hoo! Yeah! She's gonna marry me. In your face, everybody... Woo hoo!

Dad, if the new baby is a girl, can we name her Ariel?

I'm sorry, the baby's name will be Kool Moe Dee Simpson.

Kool Moe Dee.

You know, I had this very same discussion with your mother ten years ago.

Homer, I've been thinking. If the baby's a boy, what do you think of the name Larry?

Marge, we can't do that! All the kids'll call him Larry Fairy.

Well, how about Louie?

They'll call him Screwy Louie.

Marcus?

Mucous.

What about Bart?

Let's see... Bart, Cart, Dart, Eeart... Nope, can't see any problem with that. Wow! I'll take that ring!

Yes sir, and how will you be paying for it?

I don't know.

Finally, the big day came. We didn't have much money, so we went to a quaint little chapel just across the state line.

Basic ceremony's twenty bucks. Here's your license.

Be sure to get this punched every time. The tenth wedding is on the house.

Hey! This marriage is gonna last forever.

No matter how many times I hear that, it always makes me laugh.

Cletus, do you take Aline to be your lawful wedded wife?

Done. Next.

There certainly are a lot of stains on the ceiling.

Marge, I'm sorry. I wish I could afford a better place.

Homer, I'd be lying if I said that this is how I pictured my wedding day... But you are how I pictured my husband.

Well, you may not look like Ted Bessell, but you're just as nice.

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in the sight of God and this casino to join...

... and...

... in holy matrimony. Beautiful.

Don't be stupid.

Do you, Marjorie Bouvier, take Homer J. Simpson to be your lawful wedded husband?

Homer, same question, names reversed.

Then, by the power vested in me by the state gaming commission, I pronounce you man and wife. Here's ten dollars worth of chips, you may kiss the bride.

What a perfect day.

Our first night together as man and wife.

Hey! Lovebirds! Keep it down!

Look what I got, Marge, a baby monitor.

Baby to Marge. Baby to Marge. Wah! Wah! Over.

Homer, I don't know how we can afford all these things on your salary.

Hey, why don't I apply at the nuclear power plant? I hear they pay pretty well.

I don't know. I heard radiation can make you sterile.

Pfft. Now you tell me.

We only have two openings, so I'm afraid one of you will have to go home empty-handed... But it won't be my old frat buddy, Lou Collier. How ya doin', you old Alpha Tau!

Smithers, you keg-meister, you.

Well, hey, I'm from Alabama Chapter!

I'll be.