jamesliu23/simpsons · Datasets at Hugging Face

text stringlengths 7 697
That's right... gather the nectar, my little drones, and make the honey. Honey for your children.
Ready for that drink, sir?
Just a second, Smithers. Let me introduce you to the gang. That's Buzz. That's Honey. And you see that queen over there? Her name is "Smithers."
Ha, ha. That's very flattering, sir. But we should go. Several bees are stinging me.
Moe's Tavern. Moe speaking.
Uh yes, I'm looking for a Mrs. O'Problem. First name... Bee.
Ah, yeah. Just a minute, I'll check. Uh, Bee O'Problem. Bee O'Problem. C'mon, guys. Do I have an O'Problem here?
You sure do!
Awwww. It's you, isn't it?
Listen you, when I get a hold of you, I'm gonna use your head for a bucket and paint my house with your brains!
Bart, I want you to go down to Moe's Tavern. I need you to bring your father home.
Excuse me, I'm looking for --
Wait a minute. I know that voice.
If it isn't little Bart Simpson! I haven't seen you in years.
That's right. That's my pop!
Ah, little Bart... we hear all about your monkeyshines.
Bet you get into all kinds of trouble he don't even know about. Am I right? Huh? Am I right?
Yeah, well, I make some crank phone calls.
That's great! Hey, would you sing that old song you used to sing for me?
Moe, for you... anything?
Look! A blue-collar bar! Oh, Smithers, let's go slumming!
EVERY TEDDY BEAR WHO'S BEEN GOOD IS SURE OF A TREAT TODAY/ THERE'S LOTS OF MARVELOUS THINGS TO EAT, AND WONDERFUL GAMES TO PLAY/ BENEATH THE TREES, WHERE NOBODY SEES/ THEY'LL HIDE AND SEEK AS LONG AS THEY PLEASE/ TODAY'S THE DAY THE TEDDY BEARS HAVE THEIR PICNIC!
He's a pip, this one is!
Ah, the mirthless laugh of the damned. Hold your nose, Smithers, we're going in!
Watch me blend in. Barkeep, some cheap domestic beer for me and my "buddy" here.
I'm not your buddy, you greedy old reptile!
Smithers, who is this saucy fellow?
Homer Simpson, sir. Sector Sieben-gruben -- I mean, Sector 7G. Recently terminated.
That's right. I lost my job so that you could have another 100 million dollars.
Let me ask you something. Does your money cheer you up when you're feeling blue?
Okay, bad example. So let me ask you this, does your money ever hug you when you come home at night?
Why, no.
And does it ever say, "I love you?"
No, it doesn't.
Nobody loves you. Nobody loves you. You're old and you're ugly. Nobody loves you. Yea, yea, yea yea!
Nobody loves you...
Good heavens, Smithers! They're not afraid of me anymore!
Hey Mr. Burns, did you get that letter I sent?
Letter? I don't recall any letter...
That's because I forgot to stamp it.
Ah, that kid slays me.
That was no accident. Let's get out of here.
Na na na na / Na na na na /
Hey hey hey / Goodbye -- Na na na na / na na na na / hey hey hey / goodbye...
What good is money if you can't inspire terror in your fellow man? I've got to get my plant back!
Gott in himmel! Who'd have thought a nuclear plant could be such a deathtrap.
It will cost us another hundred million just to bring it up to code.
Please sell me my plant back! I'll pay anything.
Isn't this a happy coincidence? You are desperate to buy, and we are desperate to sell.
Desperate, eh? Advantage, Burns.
This is my offer. I think you'll find it's most unfair, but those are the breaks.
But Mr. Burns, this is half of what we paid you.
That's my final offer, take it or leave it.
All right, Mr. Burns. You win. But beware. We Germans aren't all smiles and sunshine.
Ooh, the Germans are mad at me. I'm so scared. Ooh, the Germans.
Uh-oh, the Germans are comin' to get me. Oh, don't let the Germans come after me... Oh no, the Germans are coming after me. Oh, no, they're so big and strong...
Get out! This is my office now! Get out!
You too. This is a place of business, not a Peewee flop house!
Your orders, sir?
Restore my office. Cancel all repairs. And rehire that chap who sassed me in the bar.
Homer Simpson, but why?
Smithers. I keep my friends close and my enemies even closer. He'll slowly regain his confidence as the months and years drift by, blissfully unaware that the sword of Damocles is dangling just above his head.
And then one day... when he least expects it --
Woo-hoo! I got my job back!
"Barnacle Bill's Home Pregnancy Test"? Homer, shouldn't we have gone with a better-known brand?
But Marge, this one came with a free corncob pipe.
Okay, let's see... "Ahoy maties! If the water turns blue, a baby for you. If purple ye see, no baby thar be".
Well, what color is it? Blue or purple?
"If ye test should fail, to a doctor set sail". Well, I guess I'd better go see Dr. Hibbert.
Oh honey, do you really think you're pregnant?
Well, I have the same nausea and craving for pancake mix I did with the other kids.
Yeah, and I have the same tightness in my chest and profuse sweating I always get.
Well, I'll let you know.
Hey, Homer, how come Mom's going to the doctor?
Is anything wrong?
No, everything's fine. Your mother uh, just, broke her leg.
I smell a bun in the oven.
Is Mom gonna have another baby, Dad?
You're a machine, Homer.
Did you hear that Maggie? Another baby in the house.
Ohhh, cool, we can race them.
Yeah, sure, for you a baby's all fun and games. For me, it's diaper changes and midnight feedings.
Doesn't Mom do that stuff?
Yeah, but I have to hear about it.
Were you like this when Mom was pregnant with me?
Actually, Bart, I threw up more than your mother. ... It all happened at the beginning of that turbulent decade known as the '80s.
Hmmm, what do you think about?
Those were idealistic days... The candidacy of John Anderson, the rise of Supertramp... It was an exciting time to be young!
For several years I'd been dating your mother and working at the local fun center.
Homer, you're turning the blades too fast. The golfers are complaining. Slow down!
That's better. Ah, beautiful. Keep this up and someday you'll be the guy who hands out the putters.
Yes, sir.
I was 24 years old, with a beautiful girlfriend and a job with a future...
Hey, you're supposed to be listening to my story!
I thought it was over. You had a problem turning a blade, you overcame it. The feel-good story of the year.
It's not our fault our generation has short attention spans, Dad. We watch an appalling amount of TV.
Don't you ever, ever talk that way about television. Lousy, ungrateful... Can't keep their, whaddyacallit... minds... on any uh...
Where do you think you're going? You're gonna listen to my story.
Your mother was living with her two wicked sisters.
Okay girls, you can smoke now.

That's right... gather the nectar, my little drones, and make the honey. Honey for your children.

Ready for that drink, sir?

Just a second, Smithers. Let me introduce you to the gang. That's Buzz. That's Honey. And you see that queen over there? Her name is "Smithers."

Ha, ha. That's very flattering, sir. But we should go. Several bees are stinging me.

Moe's Tavern. Moe speaking.

Uh yes, I'm looking for a Mrs. O'Problem. First name... Bee.

Ah, yeah. Just a minute, I'll check. Uh, Bee O'Problem. Bee O'Problem. C'mon, guys. Do I have an O'Problem here?

You sure do!

Awwww. It's you, isn't it?

Listen you, when I get a hold of you, I'm gonna use your head for a bucket and paint my house with your brains!

Bart, I want you to go down to Moe's Tavern. I need you to bring your father home.

Excuse me, I'm looking for --

Wait a minute. I know that voice.

If it isn't little Bart Simpson! I haven't seen you in years.

That's right. That's my pop!

Ah, little Bart... we hear all about your monkeyshines.

Bet you get into all kinds of trouble he don't even know about. Am I right? Huh? Am I right?

Yeah, well, I make some crank phone calls.

That's great! Hey, would you sing that old song you used to sing for me?

Moe, for you... anything?

Look! A blue-collar bar! Oh, Smithers, let's go slumming!

EVERY TEDDY BEAR WHO'S BEEN GOOD IS SURE OF A TREAT TODAY/ THERE'S LOTS OF MARVELOUS THINGS TO EAT, AND WONDERFUL GAMES TO PLAY/ BENEATH THE TREES, WHERE NOBODY SEES/ THEY'LL HIDE AND SEEK AS LONG AS THEY PLEASE/ TODAY'S THE DAY THE TEDDY BEARS HAVE THEIR PICNIC!

He's a pip, this one is!

Ah, the mirthless laugh of the damned. Hold your nose, Smithers, we're going in!

Watch me blend in. Barkeep, some cheap domestic beer for me and my "buddy" here.

I'm not your buddy, you greedy old reptile!

Smithers, who is this saucy fellow?

Homer Simpson, sir. Sector Sieben-gruben -- I mean, Sector 7G. Recently terminated.

That's right. I lost my job so that you could have another 100 million dollars.

Let me ask you something. Does your money cheer you up when you're feeling blue?

Okay, bad example. So let me ask you this, does your money ever hug you when you come home at night?

Why, no.

And does it ever say, "I love you?"

No, it doesn't.

Nobody loves you. Nobody loves you. You're old and you're ugly. Nobody loves you. Yea, yea, yea yea!

Nobody loves you...

Good heavens, Smithers! They're not afraid of me anymore!

Hey Mr. Burns, did you get that letter I sent?

Letter? I don't recall any letter...

That's because I forgot to stamp it.

Ah, that kid slays me.

That was no accident. Let's get out of here.

Na na na na / Na na na na /

Hey hey hey / Goodbye -- Na na na na / na na na na / hey hey hey / goodbye...

What good is money if you can't inspire terror in your fellow man? I've got to get my plant back!

Gott in himmel! Who'd have thought a nuclear plant could be such a deathtrap.

It will cost us another hundred million just to bring it up to code.

Please sell me my plant back! I'll pay anything.

Isn't this a happy coincidence? You are desperate to buy, and we are desperate to sell.

Desperate, eh? Advantage, Burns.

This is my offer. I think you'll find it's most unfair, but those are the breaks.

But Mr. Burns, this is half of what we paid you.

That's my final offer, take it or leave it.

All right, Mr. Burns. You win. But beware. We Germans aren't all smiles and sunshine.

Ooh, the Germans are mad at me. I'm so scared. Ooh, the Germans.

Uh-oh, the Germans are comin' to get me. Oh, don't let the Germans come after me... Oh no, the Germans are coming after me. Oh, no, they're so big and strong...

Get out! This is my office now! Get out!

You too. This is a place of business, not a Peewee flop house!

Your orders, sir?

Restore my office. Cancel all repairs. And rehire that chap who sassed me in the bar.

Homer Simpson, but why?

Smithers. I keep my friends close and my enemies even closer. He'll slowly regain his confidence as the months and years drift by, blissfully unaware that the sword of Damocles is dangling just above his head.

And then one day... when he least expects it --

Woo-hoo! I got my job back!

"Barnacle Bill's Home Pregnancy Test"? Homer, shouldn't we have gone with a better-known brand?

But Marge, this one came with a free corncob pipe.

Okay, let's see... "Ahoy maties! If the water turns blue, a baby for you. If purple ye see, no baby thar be".

Well, what color is it? Blue or purple?

"If ye test should fail, to a doctor set sail". Well, I guess I'd better go see Dr. Hibbert.

Oh honey, do you really think you're pregnant?

Well, I have the same nausea and craving for pancake mix I did with the other kids.

Yeah, and I have the same tightness in my chest and profuse sweating I always get.

Well, I'll let you know.

Hey, Homer, how come Mom's going to the doctor?

Is anything wrong?

No, everything's fine. Your mother uh, just, broke her leg.

I smell a bun in the oven.

Is Mom gonna have another baby, Dad?

You're a machine, Homer.

Did you hear that Maggie? Another baby in the house.

Ohhh, cool, we can race them.

Yeah, sure, for you a baby's all fun and games. For me, it's diaper changes and midnight feedings.

Doesn't Mom do that stuff?

Yeah, but I have to hear about it.

Were you like this when Mom was pregnant with me?

Actually, Bart, I threw up more than your mother. ... It all happened at the beginning of that turbulent decade known as the '80s.

Hmmm, what do you think about?

Those were idealistic days... The candidacy of John Anderson, the rise of Supertramp... It was an exciting time to be young!

For several years I'd been dating your mother and working at the local fun center.

Homer, you're turning the blades too fast. The golfers are complaining. Slow down!

That's better. Ah, beautiful. Keep this up and someday you'll be the guy who hands out the putters.

Yes, sir.

I was 24 years old, with a beautiful girlfriend and a job with a future...

Hey, you're supposed to be listening to my story!

I thought it was over. You had a problem turning a blade, you overcame it. The feel-good story of the year.

It's not our fault our generation has short attention spans, Dad. We watch an appalling amount of TV.

Don't you ever, ever talk that way about television. Lousy, ungrateful... Can't keep their, whaddyacallit... minds... on any uh...

Where do you think you're going? You're gonna listen to my story.

Your mother was living with her two wicked sisters.

Okay girls, you can smoke now.