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Should you take a shower before having sex or after having sex
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sexquestions
|
10iwg21
| 2 |
General Question
| true | false | 1 | true |
Is it illegal to shower before and after?
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I always shower before... it's just common courtesy. Whether or not I shower afterwards depends on a few things but generally I don't.
It's entirely up to you.
|
Always after. If you're doing it right, you'll get hot and sweaty and you'll want to clean up the lube and cum. Also, you should just have decent enough hygiene to be able to have sex whenever you want. It's not hard to maintain a decent level of cleanliness through the day unless you have a dirty job or you're out exercising beforehand.
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I usually try for both. Prior for comfort sake as you're about to have contact with each other's body parts. After because you're hot and usually make a mess. It's also a nice intimate thing to do together.
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Both. Both is good.
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Cultural Comparisons, thoughts?
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sexquestions
|
10iun50
| 2 |
Advice Needed
| true | false | 0.75 | true |
I don't think it matters how much men feel free to "be themselves" or "explore". Because women are less interested in casual sex than men, on average, some men will always have to pay in order to bridge the gap if they want to live out their fantasies and not just keep them inside of their heads.
There's some data I've found to the effect that the average gay man has had roughly ten times more sex partners than the average straight man. Women are vastly less interested in casual sex than men. This is across all cultures and all of human history. And yes, I find strip clubs and many aspects of the sex industry sad as well. It's not going anywhere though.
Edit: I'd also add that we should be thankful that men have much higher sex drives and not criticize them for it. If they didn't, the human species would have died off a long time ago.
|
You've talked to friends. Have you talked to strippers? Sex workers? Have you read materials that folks in those fields share? Do you pay attention to what *they* have to say on the subject?
I ask because these are people who can speak for themselves. They have voices. And I think what you'll find is an extremely varied experience that might give you a better look inside the industry (both good and bad). I think you'll find a lot of nuance that your ideals are, if I'm honest, preventing you from considering.
As an aside, no we shouldn't eliminate it, you'd only push it further underground and expose people to extremely dangerous situations. No we shouldn't make it "fair" by having more male strip clubs and escorts. If there was demand, it would be more prominent. This is trying to force an idea of fairness and righteousness on a messy reality that doesn't form to ideals.
EDIT: I want to clarify that I'm not trying to shame you for asking these questions, or be a jerk about them. I just want to be clear and frank.
|
Fair enough. Thanks for your perspective. I agree in some ways and am just trying to challenge my own bias towards casual sex perhaps. Is it naive not to assume most men would probably prefer or be in a non-manogamous relationship? I'm Caucasian but recently heard that some cultures of the world are more casual about 'extramarital relations'. Not trying to make this topic about religion but just trying to get a survey of what the world thinks if there was more sexual egalitarianism...
| null | null |
pregnant???
|
sexquestions
|
10eu3m2
| 1 |
Pregnancy Scare
| true | false | 1 | true |
No, if you take your pill as prescribed you’re protected. The pill is 99.7% effective with perfect use, sex on the pill is protected sex and there is no reason to pull out aside from your own anxiety.
You can test 3 weeks post sex for peace of mind. Pink dye test, first morning urine. Dollar store tests work as well as expensive ones.
|
Absolutely don’t panic - your chances are very very low. The bleeding was just one of those things.
If you’re still worried, take a test in 3 weeks x
| null | null | null |
For the ladies, do you have a preference of shaved or not?
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sexquestions
|
10del29
| 4 |
General Question
| true | false | 0.84 | true |
I prefer shaved so if your going down on him you can put the cock and balls in your mouth
|
I dont care, but i dont like it when its so long that it get in my mouth while giving a bj
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Don't care. Just make sure it isn't a forest to the point it enters my mouth. Just trim it and it'll be good.
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Well groomed but not shaved. I personally don’t care for the look of a dude being fully shaved.
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I like trimmed. I find if there is a lot of hair it’s tends to get in the mouth during BJs.
|
Enjoyable Sex With A Condom?
|
sexquestions
|
10d5j4j
| 1 |
Advice Needed
| true | true | 1 | true |
You want to be sure you’re wearing a condom that is the correct size, too tight or too loose will cut down on sensation even more.
You also want to use lube on your penis before donning the condom. Putting a condom on a dry penis will cut down on your sensitivity even more.
The brand of condoms also matters, thinner condoms offer more feeling. Water, silicone or aloe based only, oil based deteriorates condoms.
Try having your partner put the condom on you and give you a gentle hand job before attempting PIV to keep stimulation more constant.
Fully erect measure yourself with a measuring tape at your widest point. That will tell you your size. Condoms are sized in millimeters. Average condoms are generally between 50-54mm, large condoms start at 54mm and go up to 76mm. I recommend for below average [004](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B004F0NXBE/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_BEG2C3EAG11JWHB0PEYP), for average [crown](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00328R398/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_KNQR32EW8CM8HK725G40) and for above average [lelo](https://www.lelohex.com/hex-respect?gclid=CjwKCAjwrqqSBhBbEiwAlQeqGgolBNUZPOpNG7WqgdqSNG5Jwv3UitVSU8gK1UH_F2mEY_Ta2gvtyxoChcsQAvD_BwE) or [legend](https://www.onecondoms.com/products/legend-xl-12-pack?variant=31317353332818¤cy=USD&utm_medium=product_sync&utm_source=google&utm_content=sag_organic&utm_campaign=sag_organic&gclid=CjwKCAjwrqqSBhBbEiwAlQeqGmZ7TasfGveVn1eev6Y6P6F4JGiiGHjSC1UIubU3mV8srxv_Ea-uxRoChEkQAvD_BwE), for XXL [my size](https://worldcondoms.com/products/mysize-pro-72mm?variant=40656079061141¤cy=USD&gclid=CjwKCAjwrqqSBhBbEiwAlQeqGjBTOjQYveVtNSLVydmzMMKnIFfqAXJb13J3d-hiW7cV1piBsK7nzRoCYIkQAvD_BwE). Side note, for above average penises there is only one brand of flavored condoms available, [exs](https://www.condom-sizes.org/flavored-condoms/flavored-condoms).
[How to put on a condom](https://youtu.be/rrW-0wam5QY).
Condoms fail due to the following reasons.
Wasn't made properly.
Wasn't stored at the right temperature.
Was used after its expiration date.
Was torn when taken out of the packet.
Was too small or too large.
Was used with the wrong lubricant.
Wasn't put on or used properly.
Genital to genital touching prior to or after condom use.
Using spermicidal lube increase their effectiveness.
[How to use spermicidal lube](https://www.mayoclinic.org/drugs-supplements/spermicide-vaginal-route/proper-use/drg-20070769)
| null | null | null | null |
do condoms make sex pointless for guys?
|
sexquestions
|
10c58ea
| 0 |
Birth Control
| true | false | 0.29 | true |
dude if u wanna enjoy your 20s use a condom
|
Condoms do lower the sensitivity but it does not prevent it altogether in a normal, healthy penis.
They can make it difficult to stay erect due to the break in stimulation, anxiety over proper use, if the condom is too tight or too loose or if the penis already has low sensitivity without the condom.
Condoms are not for women’s pleasure, it changes the sensation of sex for them as well. Skin to skin feels really nice for both people but for safety, condoms should be used.
Be sure to choose a condom that is the correct size and practice putting one on before your first time. Be sure to use a little lube on the penis before donning the condom, it helps enhance the pleasure your feel and makes the condom feel more comfortable.
Use a water based, silicone, or aloe based lube. Oil based lubes will deteriorate condoms. Also be sure to store condoms correctly and open them carefully, never using your teeth.
Fully erect measure yourself with a measuring tape at your widest point. That will tell you your size. Condoms are sized in millimeters. Average condoms are generally between 50-54mm, large condoms start at 54mm and go up to 76mm. I recommend for below average [004](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B004F0NXBE/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_BEG2C3EAG11JWHB0PEYP), for average [crown](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00328R398/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_KNQR32EW8CM8HK725G40) and for above average [lelo](https://www.lelohex.com/hex-respect?gclid=CjwKCAjwrqqSBhBbEiwAlQeqGgolBNUZPOpNG7WqgdqSNG5Jwv3UitVSU8gK1UH_F2mEY_Ta2gvtyxoChcsQAvD_BwE) or [legend](https://www.onecondoms.com/products/legend-xl-12-pack?variant=31317353332818¤cy=USD&utm_medium=product_sync&utm_source=google&utm_content=sag_organic&utm_campaign=sag_organic&gclid=CjwKCAjwrqqSBhBbEiwAlQeqGmZ7TasfGveVn1eev6Y6P6F4JGiiGHjSC1UIubU3mV8srxv_Ea-uxRoChEkQAvD_BwE), for XXL [my size](https://worldcondoms.com/products/mysize-pro-72mm?variant=40656079061141¤cy=USD&gclid=CjwKCAjwrqqSBhBbEiwAlQeqGjBTOjQYveVtNSLVydmzMMKnIFfqAXJb13J3d-hiW7cV1piBsK7nzRoCYIkQAvD_BwE). Side note, for above average penises there is only one brand of flavored condoms available, [exs](https://www.condom-sizes.org/flavored-condoms/flavored-condoms).
[How to put on a condom](https://youtu.be/rrW-0wam5QY).
To check a condom for fail post sex take it to the bathroom and rinse it out. Fill it back up with water and hold it up. No leaks, no fails.
You may consider pairing the condom with spermicidal lube to increase your protection.
|
Dude. Wear a condom. Sure, it might decrease sensitivity but it doesn’t do it entirely. You don’t want a kid at the age you’re at, it will ruin your life
|
the point is not getting the girl pregnant 💀
|
it might reduce sensibility by up to a 20% it isn't that much , and cumming inside isn't much different than doing it in a doggie bag
on the other hand, it is pointless for a society to have individuals that live in the age of hyper information that can't even consider not pleasure but life crippling diseases , young does not mean disease free , so being stupid is pointless that's for sure , everything else is negotiable
|
Why do I feel horny but have no interest in anybody?
|
sexquestions
|
10bb5ft
| 2 |
General Question
| true | true | 0.67 | true |
This reads as asexuality or demisexuality. Asexuals have no attraction but might still have a sex drive. Demisexuals are asexuals (depending who you ask) who are only really attracted to people they like/love. They're the types who likely wouldn't be attracted to a rando at the bar unless they dated for a while and they realized they liked them as a person.
You may fit under that umbrella.
Check out r/asexuality for a quick "Am I Ace" rundown resource and r/aaaaaaacccccccce to see asexual folks just kinda talking and memeing about their experiences. See if any of it vibes with you.
(Also, I'm ace myself. If you have questions I can at the very least share my experience, although I'm not demisexual and can't help much on that front.)
|
Based on what I know there are two likely possibilities: these feelings could be connected to past sexual trauma, be that from an adverse experience, religious trauma, or something similar.
The other possibility is that you are on the asexual spectrum. You can be both straight and asexual, ie you're romantically attracted to people of the opposite sex (heteroromantic) but do not experience sexual attraction to them (asexual). Romantic and sexual attraction can be separate from each other, even if for many people they are intertwined. Asexuality is a spectrum too, so someone who is asexual may feel sexual attraction under certain circumstances, and it is also separate from somebody's libido, You can have a sex drive, experience sexual fantasies, or even want sex and still be asexual. It is about the way you experience sexual attraction towards others, and that's it. While asexual relationships are typically out of the ordinary, asexual people are perfectly capable of having healthy, fulfilling relationships and sex lives.
To find out more you can check out r/asexual where there are many people who have similar experiences to what you've described who are either figuring it out or who have it figured out and can provide insight.
|
I am not entirely sure but maybe you have to "really" like someone to have sex with them. Likely a demisexual or something along those lines.
|
All of the previous relationships ended bad?
My guess is that it’s lingering trauma from previous relationships. Maybe spending more time building trust and getting to know someone before sex could help?
| null |
Why do guys want threesomes with their girlfriend ?
|
sexquestions
|
109el2m
| 13 |
Advice Needed
| true | true | 0.94 | true |
For the same reasons anyone seeks group sex, all the reasons you gave and more! There are also kinks and lifestyles like Cuckolds/Cuckqueens, Hotwifing, Stag and Vixen, Swingers, Harems, etc. that encompass too many reasons to list here.
|
For me I like to see my girl with a bigger cock in her I like the way she stretches open and creams on the shaft. Not sure why I like it though
|
All of the above?
Again guys see this stuff in porno movies and think why not for him?
|
In practice a lot of people wouldn't actually have a good time, especially with the potential consequences for your relationship, but there are a *lot* of tastes, dynamics and circumstances out there. For the average vanilla cis man, it's just a hypothetical *sex, but more* type of thing.
|
I fantasize more about my wife with me and another guy more than me with my wife and another woman
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Are there any odd physical characteristics you find attractive on a guy or girl?
|
sexquestions
|
109h84x
| 1 |
Body/Physical
| true | true | 1 | true |
My husband finds my back dimples really attractive
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I love women with pretty underarms
|
For men: Veiny hands, large forearms, mastery of the smolder
Women: also mastery of the smolder, pointed teeth,
| null | null |
Question of curiosity
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sexquestions
|
108c359
| 1 |
Sex Toys
| true | false | 1 | true | null | null | null | null | null |
question about std
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sexquestions
|
107qf8u
| 1 |
General Question
| true | false | 1 | true |
Always get tested after every new partner.
It’s important to get tested 2 weeks and again in 3 months after every new partner. This includes encounters with “virgins” and with the use of barriers. Barriers greatly reduce the risk of transmission but no barrier is 100% in its ability to protect against STI’s. Different STI’s have different incubation periods and if you test too early you can get a false negative. It’s important to re test after your initial 2 week test for an accurate STI status. It’s important to be aware that a standard STI test only test for the coming STI’s which don’t include Herpes or HPV. If you want a full panel STI test done you must request it.
You can read more about barriers and STI risk [here](https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sex/what-stds-do-condoms-not-prevent) and [here](https://www.cdc.gov/condomeffectiveness/brief.html).
If you have concerns about HIV you can also read about PEP [here](https://www.cdc.gov/hiv/basics/pep.html ) and [here](https://www.healthline.com/health/hiv/post-exposure-prophylaxis ) which is a medication that helps prevent HIV after exposure. It must be started within 72 hours of suspected exposure and taken everyday for 28 days.
Not to be confused with [PREP](https://www.cdc.gov/hiv/basics/prep/starting-stopping-prep.html) or [Apretude](https://www.everydayhealth.com/hiv-aids/fda-approves-first-shot-to-prevent-hiv-cabotegravir/).
| null | null | null | null |
Mostly a curious question: HOW do people stay quiet during sex.
|
sexquestions
|
1073brx
| 7 |
General Question
| true | false | 1 | true |
I don’t even know how it is possible that someone can be quiet during sex. My husband doesn’t make a peep. I think he may even hold his breathe some of the time because I don’t even hear that. I think it is in part due to him having a lot of self pleasure sessions through his life where he HAD to be quiet. I say moan and breathe as Loud and Proud as the sex makes you feel.
|
My gf never makes a sound. I can hear her panting when she gets close, but she freezes up and goes silent during orgasms and spasms. She will breathe heavy again after the orgasm but it's always been really quite. I usually have to measure if something feels good based off of if her vagina gets wetter, more engorged, or her lack of resistance to nipple play. This is all during oral. During intercourse, she's usually pretty quite. Sometimes I wonder if she is awake. We often have conversations during sex and are only occasionally interrupted by moans that are the same volume as sighs. The loadest we get is heavy breathing usually. I have to sorta fake my moans for her to know I'm close. I could do the whole thing in total silence while breathing from my nose.
|
I’m the same way… I cannot be quiet. The pleasure just takes over and I sometimes don’t even realize it…
|
It is a learned thing IMHO. I masturbated as young adult a lot. Also with people around and this makes you learn quickly to be stealthy and quit.
With a partner is a liability, because it is hard for the other one to see how much you enjoy it and makes it more boring for them.
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I'd imagine genetic on how pleasurable it is and how people respond to it.
Like when people lift weights with a lot of effort some people grunt for the roughly the same reason as moaning during sex amd some people can control it and some people cannot.
|
What would you consider porn addiction, and what would you consider a healthy relationship with pornography?
|
sexquestions
|
107263h
| 1 |
General Question
| true | false | 1 | true |
Masturbation is a very healthy activity and has many benefits. You can read more about that [here](https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/324068#summary) and [here](https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a19534050/5-reasons-you-should-masturbate-tonight/). You only have a problem if your sessions interfere with personal, school or work responsibilities, you’re causing physical harm to yourself or others, and/or it’s keeping you from maintaining a healthy, romantic relationship. Porn shouldn’t exceed 4 hours a week but less than that is perfectly fine. Outside of those factors you can masturbate as much as you like! You can see an article that talks about the time limit [here](https://m.timesofindia.com/life-style/health-fitness/de-stress/signs-that-you-are-watching-too-much-porn-and-what-you-can-do-about-it/amp_etphotostory/76982114.cms).
|
I mean if you cannot stop disite yoyr best efforts i would consider that an addiction
I wouldn't be super concerned but if you feel like it might be bad for you theres nothimg bad aboht not watching for a bit amd see how you feel
| null | null | null |
If someone's suspecting you for being a virgin, can they actually prove whether you're lying or not?
|
sexquestions
|
1066ht8
| 3 |
General Question
| true | false | 1 | true |
If this is in reference to a potential partner lying will only serve to hurt you both in building true intimacy.
If this is in reference to pretending to be something you’re not out of some machismo ideal…why? There’s no rush to having sex, you’re on your own journey. Having sex proves nothing about who you are or your worth as a person. Don’t put on airs for others approval.
|
If you're a guy, no... but it'll usually be obvious in bed.
If you're a girl, still no, as some girls don't have a hymen naturally... but it'll usually be obvious in bed
|
Short answer? No
|
No
The question really is why this is something to be lied about. I think it's much more awesome when people own up to who they are and what they have or haven't done in life yet. Shame holds us back.
Be who you are and live the experiences you've had. Bullshitting other people because you think those people may like you more for it either means they're wrong people for you, or means you need to be kinder (and prouder) of yourself as you are.
| null |
Question about pregnancy possibility
|
sexquestions
|
105ge10
| 2 |
Pregnancy Scare
| true | true | 1 | true |
Women ovulate in the middle of their cycle, if she got her period 3 days after sex she would have ovulated roughly 2 weeks ago and no longer able to get pregnant that cycle. You should be adding spermicide if all you’re relying on is condoms.
I’d say you got very lucky, this is a situation where she should have taken EC unless she’s using FAM/NFP to track her cycle and knew she was in her safe period.
A better Plan A moving forward.
She can read about her options [here](https://www.onemedical.com/blog/healthy-living/birth-control-guide/). If she’s too young to have already seen a gynecologist she can reach out to her nearest Planned Parenthood for assistance. Simply google “Planned Parenthood near me” and give them a call. If she has concerns about your parents seeing something on their health insurance please give [this article](https://www.bedsider.org/features/275-the-girls-guide-to-getting-some-privacy-on-your-parents-health-insurance) a read about her rights with her parents insurance. If she’s unsure of her insurance information she can visit her pediatrician’s office and request a copy of her card they have on file. She can also use [Hello Wisp](https://hellowisp.com) for birth control, emergency contraception and other medications. They don’t require insurance. She can also find great support at r/birthcontrol.
If you’re ever in need of EC in the future here is some info.
Plan B - Is best used up to 72 hours after unprotected sex, though the effectiveness declines as you near the 72nd hour. It is also not as effective for women over 155 lbs and is not effective at all after 175 lbs or at a BMI of 30. This pill is a huge dose of progesterone and works to delay ovulation but will not work once the woman has ovulated. This can be taken multiple times a month, however its not advised to take this often. It is also not as effective as any other type hormonal birth control having a 50% chance at preventing pregnancy. You can read a full list of side effects [here](https://www.drugs.com/sfx/plan-b-side-effects.html) which can last up to 6 months in some women.
Ella - This must be prescribed by a doctor and is 2x as strong as Plan B. It’s not as effective for women over 195 lbs and stops working at a BMI of 35. It can be taken up to 5 days after unprotected sex but also declines in effectiveness as you get closer to the end of the 5 day window. It also works to delay ovulation and does not work once the woman has already ovulated. This can only be taken once per menstrual cycle. Plan B and Ella cancel each other out. It is a progesterone blocker and if Plan B has already been taken in a cycle it is no longer an option. If you use hormonal birth control, such as the pill, shot or ring, taking Ella at the same time can reduce the effectiveness of both Ella and your birth control.
You can calculate your BMI [here](https://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/educational/lose_wt/BMI/bmicalc.htm).
The Yuzpe Method - The Yuzpe method consists of two doses of a combination estrogen/progestin oral contraceptive (100 mcg ethinyl estradiol and 1 mg dl-norgestrel [equivalent to 0.5 mg levonorgestrel]) taken 12 hours apart. This regimen offers a convenient method for patients to use pills they already have.
Mifepristone and Misoprostol - This is the Abortion Pill, which is actually multiple pills taken over a couple days, but can and is used as emergency contraception. There is no weight limit and it works up to 11 weeks of pregnancy. You can purchase these pills through a mail service in any of the US states and in Europe. Please visit [Aid Access](https://aidaccess.org/en/i-need-an-abortion), [Women on the Web](https://www.womenonweb.org/en/i-need-an-abortion) or [Plan C](https://www.plancpills.org/find-pills) to do so. Cost ranges from $75 - $470 depending on your situation and service chosen.
Copper IUD/ Hormonal IUD options - The copper IUD is good for 10-12 years of birth control protection and can be placed up to 5 days after the first day of ovulation to prevent an unwanted pregnancy. Once the woman has ovulated or if pills are not an option, this is a form of emergency contraception that will prevent a pregnancy. It is also more effective than any other option for EC. You can call your gynecologist or reach out to your nearest Planned Parenthood for assistance. Recently a study was done that showed the Mirena and Liletta IUD were also viable options for EC. These IUD’s are good for 5-7 years. You can see that study [here](https://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMoa2022141).
You can read even more about emergency contraception [here](https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/morning-after-pill-emergency-contraception/which-kind-emergency-contraception-should-i-use) and their effectiveness thresholds [here](https://endocrinenews.endocrine.org/august-2014-pregnant-pause/). You can read more about the Yuzpe method [here](https://www.goodrx.com/conditions/emergency-contraceptive/yuzpe-method). You can read more about the abortion pill [here](https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/abortion/the-abortion-pill).
You can download the PP app [here](https://apps.apple.com/us/app/planned-parenthood-direct/id1214393415) and get EC overnighted to you. You can also use [Hello Wisp](https://hellowisp.com) for birth control, emergency contraception and other medications. They don’t require insurance. If you’re in the UK you can visit [Brook](https://www.brook.org.uk) for all you sexual healthcare needs. You can also find a ton of resources for help worldwide in many different languages through Women First Digital [here](https://womenfirstdigital.org/) they cover all women’s sexual health needs including assistance with access to safe abortion options.
You can also find support at r/auntienetwork, r/prochoice and r/abortion.
If there’s ever another scare a pregnancy test is definitive at 3 weeks. Pink dye test, first urine of the morning, dollar store tests work as well as the expensive ones.
You can read how ovulation works [here](https://helloclue.com/articles/cycle-a-z/ovulation-101-what-is-it-how-does-it-work).
You can read how periods work [here](https://www.self.com/story/menstrual-cycle/amp).
Although a person can get pregnant during their period, it is unlikely. The chances of becoming pregnant on or just after the period end depend on when a person has sexual intercourse, the length of their menstrual cycle, and the exact day they ovulate during that menstrual cycle.
These factors make it hard to predict the precise timing and extent of the fertile window. You can read under what specific circumstances you can get pregnant on your period [here](https://www.naturalcycles.com/cyclematters/can-i-get-pregnant-on-my-period).
You can read how impregnation is possible and the statistics of its probability [here](https://helloclue.com/articles/sex/conception-pregnancy-fertilization-explained).
| null | null | null | null |
Is it normal to smell odors during analingus (butt licking)?
|
sexquestions
|
1053qd1
| 3 |
Kinks/Fetishes
| true | false | 1 | true |
Your licking her butthole, and your wondering why you smell something strange….
|
Likely sweat rather than poo. No enema required, just a wash.
|
Butt will smell like butt always, some worse than others, and usually because of the sweat, so just eat it after a bath.
|
A thorough rise with warm as far fingers can easily and comfortably penetrate in the shower and a normal, thorough scrub with soap externally is plenty to deal with any odors that would result from waste or perspiration, and generally also mitigate any bacterial dangers down to the level of any virtually any other activity involving licking another person. Humans have glands like every animal, however, so booty is always gonna have a little bit of a scent depending on the individual, but it should not be terribly unpleasant on its own.
Obviously (I hope) no amount of wiping with toilet paper is gonna make an ass pass a restaurant health inspection.
If you did that shit and she *wasn't* immediately, freshly done bathing... you ate da poopoo.
|
... This may sound ridiculous, but have you considered, you may just not like butt enough to lick it?
I mean you can like the optics, the feeling, the idea of butt and still dislike parts of it like the taste and smell.
That simply means you have hit a limit in your attraction to something and may not be into crossing it, while still able to enjoy other buttstuff, like squeezing, rubbing, fingering, massaging, fucking etc. Just not licking and other practices that involve the smell and taste.
That's perfectly normal and no, enemas aren't necessary for sanitary analingus/rimming.
Usually a regular cleaning is enough and even if it didn't happen immediately before/if you're having spontaneous sex, it's not unhygienic or significantly more smelly unless your love has literally been sweating a lot or been to do her bathroom business right before.
I'm saying butt always comes flavoured with a certain scent (which is not that of poop) and you probably just don't like it, even if you may like the idea of rimming your girl.
That's sometimes the difference between fantasy and reality though. You can order a cake that looks tasty as hell and tastes bland af too, after all. It's not always the way we imagine.
Personally I like buttplay, most of my partners really love ass and all about it, down to taste and all that.
But I myself? While I also like booty, especially fellow fem booty, I'm also verrry hesitant about going in there with my tongue.
I really have to love a person and their overall body scent to be able to do that and it's the main reason why I'm very limited open for interacting with any guy's backdoor, because with guys the body scent compatibility is overall a bigger problem for me.
Some of them legit smell like sausages and I can't tell you why, but I don't like it and it's fine.
There's actually more to sex and love and intimacy then feelings and fantasy.
Body chemistry and matching on that level is highly underestimated.
|
Married ladies, would you share or like to share your husband?
|
sexquestions
|
104wg4s
| 2 |
Kinks/Fetishes
| true | false | 1 | true |
I know this is kind of an open question, because there are so many variables. I'm pretty sure that if we had a friend or relative that was going to die if they didn't have sex with our spouse, most would say okay. However, when we say share, it could mean many other things, from allowing them to simply have a person on the side, to same rm or different rm swap, multiple partners, some would only do it if they got to participate, or it's a couple swap where they get another person as well. So that's what I'm looking for a simple yes or no, but also the how or why.
|
Definitely. We’ve had a 3sum before, and it was super hot watching him fuck another girl.
| null | null | null |
How are people able to have casual sex and not catch feelings?
|
sexquestions
|
1048vcv
| 9 |
Advice Needed
| true | false | 0.92 | true |
Everyone is different, some people enjoy casual sex and some people don’t. It’s as simple as that. The most important thing is to understand and accept yourself for who you are. It’s perfectly normal to desire a connection with someone you’re intimate with, you should stick to building a connection with someone before becoming physical. As long as you communicate your boundaries with any potential partner you’ve done all you can to find someone who wants the same things you do.
|
I've had a lot of casual sex with a couple of FWB, never thought twice about feelings. It's known between us, that it can't happen.
| null | null | null |
For women, do you like 69 or sitting on a partner’s face? What is it that you like about it if so?
|
sexquestions
|
101dd04
| 1 |
General Question
| true | false | 1 | true |
Neither are my favourite. I’m only gonna cum from oral if I’m lying on my back
|
Face sitting all the way. I don’t squirt while 69ing because I am usually focused on reaching his penis. (1 foot height difference.) When I face sit, I am able to drown a person.
|
I hate 69. I love giving head and being eaten out but hate trying to do both at the same time.
|
I love both. Love 69 because I enjoy giving and receiving so both at the same time are great but can sometimes be hard to concentrate. Love sitting on partners face and he loves it too so it just adds to it
| null |
Asking to film sex
|
sexquestions
|
100uki7
| 1 |
General Question
| true | true | 1 | true |
Ask before you actually meet up, or at least mention that this is something you're interested in. Something like "Would it be okay if I filmed us?" or "I've been wanting to try taking videos during sex, is that something you're okay with?" If they're not into it don't push the issue.
| null | null | null | null |
Is it bad that my girlfriend couldn’t make me cum by jerking me off
|
sexquestions
|
zzlh93
| 2 |
Advice Needed
| true | false | 0.75 | true |
Sometimes these things happen, I wouldn’t be too concerned about it unless it becomes a regular thing.
|
In my experience, some people just don’t cum from certain things. Handjobs, oral, vaginal, anal… it doesn’t seem to matter. It can be one or more. While others can only cum from one of any of those.
Just talk to her, work through it. As long as you both can learn to make it work together, you should be fine.
|
Just remember you've been jerking off a penis (masturbating) way more than she ever had and you know exactly what you like where she has to rely on your communication. It's harder for her. You could also have something on your mind (maybe subconsciously) that could be preventing it, it could be a hormone imbalance, it could be your body is fighting off a cold and you don't notice yet, lots of things.
|
I’ve never come from a handjob in my life (unless self-administered). All of the things you mentioned are possible factors. It’s easy to fall into a vicious cycle with Sexual dysfunction by stressing over it, the stress will cause more dysfunction which causes more stress etc. etc.
Sometimes the penis just doesnt have it that day. It happens. Just relax and put it behind you.
|
It happens sometimes, there's times certaint things don't work and I feel like crap but change stuff up a little. I wouldn't worry
|
Bleeding from behind?
|
sexquestions
|
zw2nqy
| 1 |
Body/Physical
| true | false | 1 | true |
Please don’t put anything in your rectum that isn’t a toy made specifically for that purpose, this can lead to injuries as you’ve experienced!
If it was just a little bit of blood you’re probably fine.
Keep an eye out for signs of infection like fever, pain, nausea, black stool (means internal bleeding higher up), bleeding doesn’t stop or gets worse go to the ER.
| null | null | null | null |
Is it okay for a submissive guy to be bigger
|
sexquestions
|
zvt7d6
| 2 |
General Question
| true | true | 0.75 | true |
Physical size has no bearing on someone’s personality, there is no normal in sex there is just what works for you and your partners.
| null | null | null | null |
How can I prevent farting during sex?
|
sexquestions
|
zuu4ys
| 1 |
Body/Physical
| true | true | 1 | true |
Do kegels, your pelvic floor may be relaxing a bit. Farting during sex happens sometimes but if it’s become regular without it being an issue prior kegels may help strengthen your pelvic floor and alleviate the issue.
| null | null | null | null |
Is it wrong to want to masturbate to an ex?
|
sexquestions
|
zn0uwv
| 1 |
General Question
| true | true | 1 | true |
Yeah that’s pretty messed up
|
No, your thoughts and fantasies are private. There’s nothing wrong with having desires nor do we have much control over them.
The issue arises when we have to choose our actions like wether or not to cheat.
It’s perfectly ok to have a complicated relationship with the memory of an ex.
|
You're fine, my ex does it all the time 😛
| null | null |
Do people like the way vaginas smell?
|
sexquestions
|
zm87ec
| 7 |
General Question
| true | false | 0.82 | true |
Depends on how well the vagina is taken care of.
|
I do think it's biological, I've liked the smell of all my partners, it's the feral instinct to procreate with that person.
|
Yess
|
Pheromones!
|
It's fine but not an aphrodisiac or anything, and there are definitely variations, some better/worse than others. I don't want or expect it to be freshly showered, but I can't say I've ever wanted to get down there just for the smell after a long day (let alone multiple days without washing). I don't think my wife would ever go for that even if I asked, TBH. And she dislikes the smell after creampie, so she is usually pretty thorough about cleaning after that.
|
Is it normal to feel pain while trying to have sex?
|
sexquestions
|
zmghzx
| 1 |
Advice Needed
| true | true | 1 | true |
[removed]
|
If you’re struggling, try using some water based lube. Also, it takes up to 30 minutes of foreplay for a woman for be fully aroused enough for sex - the vagina lengthens, the muscles relax a bit and it (sometimes but not always) gets wet. Prolonging the foreplay may help ease this pain.
If after trying lube and longer foreplay, you still have trouble, then you might be suffering from vaginismus, which is a treatable condition where the vaginal opening is very tight. It’s usually related to stress, fear or trauma, like if you had had bad experiences before. If you’re still struggling, you can see a gynaecologist about stretching exercises
|
No, sex shouldn’t hurt!
Does it feel like he’s hitting a wall or is it more of a burning once he’s fully inside?
|
Do find it painful to insert tampons? If you’re continuing to experience pain, you might want to consider a visit with you doctor. After an exam to ensure there’s no infection or something structurally causing your discomfort, they might recommend (or you could ask about) pelvic floor physical therapy. In the mean time, if you feel like the problem might be a mismatch between the sizes of you and your partners anatomy, you could order a set of dilators to try slowly working your way up. Just be sure to use lube and always clean the dilators well before and after use to prevent a vaginal or bladder infection. Intimate Rose is a reputable brand with helpful tips/guides on their website explaining how to use dilators, etc. (even if you end up ordering a different band)
| null |
Is it rude to masturbate when housemates are home?
|
sexquestions
|
zm0kf9
| 6 |
Advice Needed
| true | false | 1 | true |
What you do in your private spaces is no one else’s business, as long as your respectful of noise (like anything else) you’re fine.
|
Theres nothing perverted about taking care of your needs. Its natural, healthy, and fun; theres no reason you or anyone else should feel its inappropriate considering you're already doing a lot to remain discreet and considerate. What you do in the privacy of your own bedroom is your business so I say buzz away to your hearts content.
|
Any reason to believe they don't masturbate as well? If you think your vibrator is too loud try finding a quieter one? Beyond that, it is a very natural thing to do. to be done discreetly. Don't worry so much about it.
Now... if you are taking 45 minutes showers to get off with the sprayer. That is rude. If dinner is delayed because you feel the need to rub one out after work. Rude. If your viborator sounds like a gas powered chainsaw and can be heard 500 feet away. Rude. If you let out into a 5 minute ever increasing series of moans which scare the birds away. Rude
Otherwise don't over think it.
| null | null |
Pregnancy possibility?
|
sexquestions
|
zl9i34
| 2 |
Pregnancy Scare
| true | false | 0.75 | true |
Your precum would have sperm in it definitively shortly after orgasm. Sperm is leftover in your urethra from the last ejaculation and this is what mixes with your precum.
The chances are small but there is risk.
If you choose to use EC here is some information.
Plan B - Is best used up to 72 hours after unprotected sex, though the effectiveness declines as you near the 72nd hour. It is also not as effective for women over 155 lbs and is not effective at all after 175 lbs or at a BMI of 30. This pill is a huge dose of progesterone and works to delay ovulation but will not work once the woman has ovulated. This can be taken multiple times a month, however its not advised to take this often. It is also not as effective as any other type hormonal birth control having a 50% chance at preventing pregnancy. You can read a full list of side effects [here](https://www.drugs.com/sfx/plan-b-side-effects.html) which can last up to 6 months in some women.
Ella - This must be prescribed by a doctor and is 2x as strong as Plan B. It’s not as effective for women over 195 lbs and stops working at a BMI of 35. It can be taken up to 5 days after unprotected sex but also declines in effectiveness as you get closer to the end of the 5 day window. It also works to delay ovulation and does not work once the woman has already ovulated. This can only be taken once per menstrual cycle. Plan B and Ella cancel each other out. It is a progesterone blocker and if Plan B has already been taken in a cycle it is no longer an option. If you use hormonal birth control, such as the pill, shot or ring, taking Ella at the same time can reduce the effectiveness of both Ella and your birth control.
You can calculate your BMI [here](https://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/educational/lose_wt/BMI/bmicalc.htm).
The Yuzpe Method - The Yuzpe method consists of two doses of a combination estrogen/progestin oral contraceptive (100 mcg ethinyl estradiol and 1 mg dl-norgestrel [equivalent to 0.5 mg levonorgestrel]) taken 12 hours apart. This regimen offers a convenient method for patients to use pills they already have.
Mifepristone - This is the Abortion Pill but can and is used as emergency contraception. There is no weight limit and it works up to 11 weeks of pregnancy.
Copper IUD/ Hormonal IUD options - The copper IUD is good for 10-12 years of birth control protection and can be placed up to 5 days after the first day of ovulation to prevent an unwanted pregnancy. Once the woman has ovulated or if pills are not an option, this is a form of emergency contraception that will prevent a pregnancy. It is also more effective than any other option for EC. You can call your gynecologist or reach out to your nearest Planned Parenthood for assistance. Recently a study was done that showed the Mirena and Liletta IUD were also viable options for EC. These IUD’s are good for 6-7 years. You can see that study [here](https://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMoa2022141).
You can read even more about emergency contraception [here](https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/morning-after-pill-emergency-contraception/which-kind-emergency-contraception-should-i-use) and their effectiveness thresholds [here](https://endocrinenews.endocrine.org/august-2014-pregnant-pause/). You can read more about the Yuzpe method [here](https://www.goodrx.com/conditions/emergency-contraceptive/yuzpe-method). You can read more about the abortion pill [here](https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/abortion/the-abortion-pill).
You can download the PP app [here](https://apps.apple.com/us/app/planned-parenthood-direct/id1214393415) and get EC overnighted to you. You can also use [Hello Wisp](https://hellowisp.com) for birth control, emergency contraception and other medications. They don’t require insurance.
| null | null | null | null |
Is it gay to like gay porn?
|
sexquestions
|
zkh63s
| 11 |
General Question
| true | false | 1 | true |
A gay person is someone who is attracted to the same sex, so if you are not attracted to other men then no you are not gay. If watching two men get it on still does it for you then you do you
|
I'm very straight, but sometimes I watch straight and lesbian porn but im not attracted to women at all. I do so because on some days im in the mood to see dick and vagina or just vagina and vagina but it has nothing to do with my sexual orientation. I 100% like men.
|
Not at all! Unless you’re gay.
The type of porn you watch absolutely does not define your sexuality—you do, based on your preferences.
Enjoy!!
|
Same and I’m only attracted to women in real life. Idk what it is but gay porn does it for me!
|
Not necessarily. If you are attracted to men, then yes. If you aren’t, then no. Watching two people have sex is inherently ‘sexy’ so it’s likely people will get at least a little bit turned on by sex, regardless of who’s in it.
Whatever works for you! If you’re gay, whatever, if you’re not, that’s fine too! If you’re in the middle somewhere, you’re like a hell of a lot of others
|
Could I be pregnant?
|
sexquestions
|
zj0alx
| 1 |
Pregnancy Scare
| true | false | 1 | true |
Very unlikely, it’s much more likely you’ve ovulated late for one reason or another. Women can ovulate late for a ton of reasons, stress being the most common.
You can test 3 weeks from the sex in question for a definitive pregnancy status.
Though be advised the pullout method is NOT BC, the calendar method is guesswork and if you want to have barrier free sex you need to either choose a form a BC or educate yourself on and implement FAM/NFP.
You can read about your options [here](https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control), it even helps you choose a method that would work best for you on the site. If you’re too young to have already seen a gynecologist you can reach out to your nearest Planned Parenthood for assistance. Simply google “Planned Parenthood near me” and give them a call. If you have concerns about your parents seeing something on their health insurance please give [this article](https://www.bedsider.org/features/275-the-girls-guide-to-getting-some-privacy-on-your-parents-health-insurance) a read about your rights with your parents insurance. If you’re unsure of your insurance information you can visit your pediatrician’s office and request a copy of your card they have on file. You can also use [Hello Wisp](https://hellowisp.com) for birth control, emergency contraception and other medications. They don’t require insurance.
[This video](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nOFzZwxreIU) goes in depth on fertility awareness to avoid pregnancy. She talks about FAM/NFP which can be very confusing but is a method of birth control if you don’t have access to or choose not to use barriers or hormonal BC. You can also get a lot of help at r/FAMnNFP.
| null | null | null | null |
Are small breasts fine?
|
sexquestions
|
jrqhx0
| 30 | null | true | true | 0.99 | true |
There is a mouth for every nipple. You have nothing to worry about. All are perfect.
|
Smaller and flatter chested is my personal favorite and bit of a turn on
|
They are my preference. Do in my opinion, more than fine!
|
Not for me personally but there are many that like or prefer that
|
It’s my preference
|
How do I stop looking at porn?
|
sexquestions
|
ru9am8
| 20 | null | true | true | 1 | true |
Deleting all accounts, clearing all browser history, and getting rid of all your other non digital porn.
Also, stay off Reddit.
Lol
|
In case anyone sees this, today was the first day in over two weeks I didn’t indulge, so here’s to hoping I can keep it up!
|
I'm In the process of not looking at porn as well. At the moment I an just quitting cold turkey for some days and then look at a bit one day then stop again and so on until I can go months without It. So far It has helped quite a bit already. It started affecting my life and work so I had to just say It was enough and made the decision to stop. The first time It was difficult but just getting through one day without It helped. I also took a break from social media like Instagram because theirs a lot of SFW stuff on there that shows too mich sometimes IMO because everyone wants to be an Instagram model. Hope you get over the addiction and I hope I do as well. It had changed my view of women and I'm starting to feel like everything Is getting "normalized" now.
|
Try a 12-step program like Sexaholics Anonymous (SA), Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA)or Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA)
|
Sexaholics anonymous.
It's a thing. I've been there. Go to a few sessions. You'll laugh, cry, find support. It's an amazing group.
|
Can my partner pass their Kink/Fetish to me?
|
sexquestions
|
prxwc4
| 15 | null | true | true | 1 | true |
I temporarily developed a panty fetish with an ex that pretty much wanted me to have one.
So I say yes
|
Definitely in my experience, the ones we love affect us. We'll start watching their movies, think of them when we see something we know they like, we check out their hobbies, and so on.
My partner is a massive ass-man, and so I am now noticing asses on the street thinking he'd appreciate that sight.
I also know giving oral is something he absolutely adores, while receiving oral is something I was never into. Was, because now I love it. There's more kinks we've 'infected' one another with, too. We sort of tune in on the same mental radio channel as the ones we love, and that is how we feel peaceful, safe, warm, and trusted.
|
I don’t know if they can, but I definitely recommend picking this one up. My wife has been fantasizing about this since we stopped late last year. She loves the letdown of her milk in my mouth and how wet our sex becomes.
| null | null |
For Dominate Women who enjoy pegging, how have you brought it to guys you've been with?
|
sexquestions
|
q6o40t
| 13 | null | true | true | 1 | true |
Sounds like you dodged a bullet there, bud.
I usually wait to ask about it until we’ve established some trust between the sheets and outside of them. Once they’re comfy with me, it’s usually an enthusiastic yes, but I asked someone a bit too early once and he said he wasn’t comfortable letting me do that just yet. Its more of an intimate experience than people think
|
Sounds very manipulated in the way of putting you down and then paying for shit, etc.
I usually only bring up something that serious if I've known someone for a long time.
| null | null | null |
Did I overreact to this?
|
sexquestions
|
y23gwm
| 10 |
Advice Needed
| true | false | 0.92 | true |
There’s really not enough information here to make any kind of judgement.
Does he struggle with erections?
Are you two dealing with any marital issues?
Has he been under new stress lately?
Any new medication?
Did you attempt to communicate with him or did you just shut down and walk away?
Did you attempt to communicate with him later?
|
On the "up" side, at least he can get hard, so your both ahead of the ED game.
Unless your missing your technique goals going down, I'll suggest that he's not being in the space and moment to allow himself to relish, accept and respond to what's happening right here, right now.
Additionally his responses may have been adapted to a porn response due to years of visual stimulation (watching porn). Shutting out all the voices within and just "Being" isn't easy for everyone. Often I find that my verbal expression of sensation, stimulation, desire, suggestion/guidance/encouragement, can bring me into the moment and that in itself enhances the experience.
|
Also, men can get to a point where they watch too much porn and need it to be aroused. It happen to me years ago.
|
Marital issues ? The only thing I personally have a problem with is that he keeps his shirt on during sex
He’s not on and kind of medication . I DID attempt to talk to him afterwards but he kind of just stonewalled me. Erection wise I suppose he’s in the mood but the minute I attempt to reciprocate the attention it’s like he’s annoyed I tried and begins to lose it.
| null |
Is it weird to want someone else to fuck my girlfriend
|
sexquestions
|
m5ampn
| 9 | null | true | true | 0.91 | true |
Fantasies and kinks are perfectly normal, and I wouldn't say that yours is weird. But just bare in mind that they don't always translate well into reality. Sometimes a fantasy is better left that way.
However, if you are truly set on making it happen, you really need to think about what will transpire during and after. You might be perfectly into it, and it could be as good as you imagined. Or you might feel jealousy and anger. There's also a possibility you enjoy it during the act, but feel deceived in the long run.
You also need to consider your gf. She may go along with it, and maybe even like it. But she also might feel used or unsafe. She also might get into it, but afterwards feel devalued and disrespected.
Your perfect situation would be both of you enjoying it with no repercussions, but honestly there's a bigger chance that this could complicate things. So really put some thought into how important this is to you, and if she agrees, be sure to talk out all the possible outcomes.
Good luck, stay safe!
|
Not at all. I love my wife getting fucked by other guys, drives me crazy.
|
Well its a fantasie like an other if you have a problem with those thought than maybe you can talk about it with your girlfriend
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In your head it sounds nice but you don’t want that in person trust me you would not be into it
|
You have a cuckhold fantasy. There is a ton of porn and ever a couple subreddits devoted to this. It’s totally normally. Talk to your girl and see if she would be into it
|
Do you make your partner shower before oral?
|
sexquestions
|
ynb7oj
| 8 |
General Question
| true | true | 0.91 | true |
My husband and I have an agreement on no oral if there wasn't a shower within the last 5 hours or so. Just trying to gage how common this is
|
We both do rinse offs beforehand, not necessarily full showers but we clean up below the waist before any sex if we’ve used the bathroom since our last shower.
|
tl;dr: within reason yes, and i do the same for him, your guys' 5 hour rule sounds very reasonable imo.
my bf and i are long distance and it usually takes me 18-21 hours travel time to get to him, i request he have showered the day of my arrival cause im pouncing on him the minute we're alone lol, but i dont let him reciprocate orally until i've showered. during the visit our rule of thumb for oral is to have showered within that day and not have done something really dirty or sweaty since showering, or just hop in the shower to rinse off or quickly just wash up without having to take a full shower before we have sex
|
Always, the idea of pee on there, sweat … 🤢
|
This is a really good question!
|
Is it wrong to buy a vibrator when living at home?!
|
sexquestions
|
ye944w
| 9 |
Advice Needed
| true | false | 1 | true |
I wouldn’t get a crazy loud model but what you do in the privacy of your own room is your own business.
Here’s a list of suggestions if you’re interested!
For clitoral I suggest a [Wand](https://www.lovehoney.com/search?q=Wand&searchButton=suggestion&lang=en_US), it covers a wide area, easy to hold and has strong vibrations. This [Hands Free Vibrator](https://www.lovehoney.com/sex-toys/vibrators/clitoral-vibrators/p/dame-eva-ii-hands-free-rechargeable-clitoral-vibrator/a39664g73486.html) is perfect if you’d like to be using your hands for other things. It’s also a great shape to control with one hand and covers a wide area.
For overly sensitive clits I suggest suction toys like the [Womanizer](https://www.lovehoney.com/sex-toys/vibrators/clitoral-suction-vibrators/p/womanizer-x-lovehoney-pro40-rechargeable-clitoral-stimulator/a36927g74431.html) and the combination stimulator [Womanizer with G Spot stimulator](https://www.lovehoney.com/sex-toys/vibrators/clitoral-suction-vibrators/p/womanizer-x-lovehoney-insideout-rechargeable-g-spot-and-clitoral-stimulator/a39565g81525.html). Note about sensitive clits, often this means you will get more reliable orgasm from indirect stimulation and should focus on exploring the other zones of your clitoral network.
For G Spot I suggest either the [G Spot Womanizer](https://www.lovehoney.com/sex-toys/vibrators/clitoral-suction-vibrators/p/womanizer-duo-rechargeable-g-spot-and-clitoral-stimulator/a40897g74518.html) or a [G Spot Vibrator](https://www.lovehoney.com/sex-toys/vibrators/g-spot-vibrators/p/desire-luxury-rechargeable-curved-g-spot-vibrator/a37736g69917.html). The first combines clitoral suction with g spot stimulation, can elicit very strong orgasms from the combination stimulation. The second has a very ergonomic grip and powerful vibrations.
For A Spot I suggest you check out this very nice [Thrusting Vibrator](https://www.lovehoney.com/sex-toys/vibrators/dildo-vibrators/p/fun-factory-stronic-real-rechargeable-realistic-thrusting-vibrator/a40075g73297.html) or this [Thrusting Rabbit Vibrator](https://www.lovehoney.com/sex-toys/vibrators/rabbit-vibrators/p/happy-rabbit-thrusting-realistic-rechargeable-rabbit-vibrator/a38897g71507.html). The first helps you focus on just hitting your cervix while maintaining a pattern for you and the second combines clitoral stimulation with cervical stimulation for an intense orgasm.
There is also this awesome little toy [here](https://www.lovehoney.com/bondage/sex-swings-machines/sex-machines/p/lovehoney-love-motion-remote-control-warming-thrusting-sex-machine-set/a45437g81895.html) for more power during penetration.
For U Spot I suggest a bullet vibrator like [this](https://www.lovehoney.com/sex-toys/vibrators/clitoral-vibrators/p/basics-vibrating-finger-bullet/a16031g18264.html) model or [this](https://www.lovehoney.com/sex-toys/vibrators/bullet-vibrators/p/rocks-off-rainbow-7-function-bullet-vibrator/a31452g68642.html) model.
For Anal I suggest you check out a piece like this [Vibrating Butt Plug](https://www.lovehoney.com/sex-toys/butt-plugs/vibrating-butt-plugs/p/lovehoney-butt-tingler-10-function-vibrating-butt-plug-3.5-inch/a28501g70101.html) or a set like [Multi Shape Set](https://www.lovehoney.com/sex-toys/butt-plugs/butt-plug-sets/p/lovehoney-bumper-booty-bundle-anal-sex-toy-kit-6-piece/a37704g69868.html) which will allow you to experiment with different sizes and shapes. A great shaped dildo is [this one](https://www.lovehoney.com/sex-toys/dildos/non-realistic-dildos/p/tantus-charmer-silicone-g-spot-and-p-spot-dildo-6-inch/a5208g5211.html) for a more accommodating and stimulating shape.
If you’re looking for something to wear during sex I recommend the [We Vibe](https://www.lovehoney.com/sex-toys/vibrators/clitoral-vibrators/p/we-vibe-chorus-app-and-remote-controlled-couples-vibrator/a44215g80787.html). This can be worn during penetration for hands-free, constant clitoral stimulation. You can also check out the [Double Ecstasy](https://wildflowersex.com/collections/all/products/3some-double-ecstasy-wearable-vibe) can be worn multiple ways for different sensations both vaginally and anally, the [Love Egg](https://www.lovehoney.com/sex-toys/love-eggs-jiggle-balls/vibrating-love-eggs/p/12-function-remote-control-rechargeable-wearable-love-egg-vibrator/a41243g75143.html) which is great inside the vagina during anal or foreplay and the [Lust](https://www.lovehoney.com/sex-toys/vibrators/clitoral-vibrators/p/lovehoney-lust-remote-control-wearable-couples-vibrator/a46167g83051.html) which has numerous ways it can be incorporated on both female and male body parts.
|
Not at all, totally natural. Just find a good hiding place. They’re really quiet now, so you should be fine to go unnoticed.
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Its not weird at all. Completely normal
|
No it’s totally normal and most toy businesses have pretty discreet packaging so it’s not obvious
|
Seems totally fine, but keep in mind you may need to be discrete about it
|
How do people feel about public sex?
|
sexquestions
|
t9gabe
| 9 | null | true | true | 0.85 | true |
It is on my list of things to try
|
The thrill of possibly getting caught is so hot.
|
I do it all the time. It’s the best sex out there. If you need any tips I’m your guy
|
It's exciting...the thought of getting caught... being watched by a stranger
|
Very hot. Just trying to be quiet is such a challenge....
|
Is it weird for me to just want to eat a girls ass and pussy with nothing in return?
|
sexquestions
|
y7id68
| 8 |
Advice Needed
| true | false | 0.91 | true |
Surprisingly common! Definitely not weird ☺️ have fun!!
|
Nothing weird about your desire!
Easiest way to communicate that would just be to say it. It wouldn’t be appropriate to simply approach a woman with this request on the street but if you’re already connecting with someone in that way it’s perfectly acceptable to share what you’re looking for sexually.
|
Pretty hot I think
|
I’m right there with you. I probably wouldn’t ask for nothing in return. I just wouldn’t ask for something in return. Then if it happens, it happens. If it doesn’t, it’s cool too
|
My partner is just like that, I wouldn't call it weird, just uncommon
|
Idk if this works here but: do you think it’s gay if guys jerk off together
|
sexquestions
|
xz59gi
| 8 |
General Question
| true | true | 0.84 | true |
Me and my friends did it when we were teens,then we got GF's and that was the end of it. Oh for the record I'm Bi and they're all straight and they didn't consider it gay. Hope that helps.
|
Nah, not gay. Do your thing. Just make sure nobody is being pressured into a sexual act they aren't okay with.
|
Gay means being exclusively attracted to the same gender. So it’s not gay to jerk off together unless you fancy them and don’t fancy girls.
Are you attracted to guys, to girls, or to anyone regardless of gender?
What you physically *do* with others is nothing to do with your sexual orientation.
|
I wouldn’t say it was gay, just uncommon maybe? Or unconventional? I just know that I would feel weird and uncomfortable even watching porn with a girl friend, let alone masturbate together. But whatever floats your boat 😀
|
I would rather let a guy fuck my ass than jackoff together
|
Jumping into sex again after a long term relationship? Is it okay?
|
sexquestions
|
xsy0fm
| 8 |
General Question
| true | true | 0.9 | true |
After that long, I might go to some therapy and work out any lingering things to get your mind in order first.
|
No, not bad! Perfectly healthy to move on.
I would caution you to take your time and keep things casual, you want to give yourself time to focus on just you while you rebuild your life and you don’t want to jump back into something new too quickly as that’s likely to be just a rebound.
Go enjoy your life, heal and start doing things for yourself in all aspects of your life. Take up new hobbies, take yourself out for special treats and get to know yourself all over again. The best part of breaking off a relationship is realizing that you’ve got a brand new chapter of life opening up to do whatever you want with!
Be safe and responsible out there. Be sure to get tested 2 weeks and again 3 months after every new partner for an accurate STI status. This includes encounters with “virgins” and with the use of barriers.
Good luck out there :)
|
I don’t think it’s bad at all if you think you can separate yourself from the emotional aspect of sex IMO. I was with someone for three years; 16 to 19 (they took my virginity was only with them) and when I got out of the relationship I was like huh do I hop on tinder idk what to do! So I did, but I did grow attached to the people I was having sex with for a while and it wasn’t till I got my heart broke like 6 times was I able to learn to separate lust and attraction from love and liking.
|
If you think you guys are going to fix things I would say no. If you’re for sure done then absofuckingloutely! You need to experience more. And she can’t guilt trip you for it since she’s the one who decided to end things. And like it or not…she’s probably doing the same thing.
|
As long as you don’t use sex as a crutch for dealing with your breakup, then I can’t see why it’s a bad thing to want to explore. But I would perhaps see a therapist if you feel you’re not in control or you don’t feel you’re being healthy about dealing with things (alcohol, drugs, sex, gambling, excessive exercise etc). Just look after yourself - it is an ordeal what has happened!
I’m sorry about your breakup xx
|
Head- can you cum from just solely head or does it not do enough?
|
sexquestions
|
r6lfe2
| 7 | null | true | true | 0.9 | true |
Yes you can trust me.
|
35/F here. I have three different kinds of orgasms and one of them is from oral. So, yeah it's possible.
|
Depends on the skills of my partner but generally yes, no issues with finishing from oral.
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[deleted]
|
Yes the majority of penis owners can.
Unfortunately having penis isn’t a guarantee you can orgasm from a blow job for many different reasons.
Most can be worked on, like death grip, medication issues, mental health, techniques, accomodation of size issues and overall headspace.
Generally, if you can orgasm, you can.
Some men truly find them underwhelming and the idea doesn’t even appeal to them.
|
Should you take wank breaks?
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sexquestions
|
k3legh
| 7 | null | true | true | 0.9 | true | null | null | null | null | null |
Are rape fantasies weird for girls
|
sexquestions
|
jwsfj1
| 9 | null | true | true | 0.91 | true |
idk if its weird or not but its definately not hugely unusual.ive known women whonhave also had this fantasy and there are entire porn genres dedicated to this subject
|
Everyone has different kinks and interests. There is a difference between fantasizing about it and it actually happening. You are probably more interested in consensual non-consent. And I only say this because I am a 29 year old female with the same interest and have for years. I constantly fantasize about being raped too but only by people I want to touch me/find attractive. Maybe I'm stuck up though. Either way you're not alone in this fantasy.
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As someone who has actually been gang raped yeah I think its weird that anyone would want to experience that. However, it could just be that you like the idea of someone dominating you which is not weird at all. But please don't go put yourself in a horrible situation or anything. It has been 16 years and I'm still fucked up. Talking to a sex therapist may help you figure out the root of that particular fantasy so you can play it out in a safer, perhaps less psychologically damaging way.
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Not at all. I do that too. And especially at your age, it's normal (In my opinion). Sure it's not a fantasy for 'everybody' but not everything is. Just don't go around asking for it from strangers ;). If that's what you're into then maybe someday you'll find a group of people, who you know and trust, that will want to do that fantasy with you. Or if you just want to fantasize about it but never actually do it, that's great too. Just be safe and have fun
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You probably don’t want it in reality it’s just a fantasy. Also a surprising amount of feminists have this fantasy, it goes deeper than just that, it’s psychological. But believe me when I say you don’t REALLY want it to happen I’m real life, not a single woman out there has reported enjoying it I’m reality not a single one. But that fantasy is semi common, it stems from other fantasies as I’m being dominated or being so badly wanted by someone they can’t control themselves and rape you, being adored as well, or having sex in a primitive way without having to feel guilty about sex because “you didn’t want it you got raped”. It’s a whole freakin lot of things. Just be safe out there.
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Where can i flash people?
|
sexquestions
|
jteoeb
| 8 | null | true | true | 1 | true |
My house teehee
|
I mean... you can always send nudes to random dudes who comment here........ lol
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Everywhere! Then just walk away like nothing happened.
| null | null |
Am I addicted to masturbation? Or is this normal?
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sexquestions
|
i5uk55
| 8 | null | true | true | 0.91 | true |
Everyone masturbates to thier own comfort. And so much goes into sexuality that a definite number cant be said on how many times masterbating in a day becomes a problem. And you can do so while having respect for others ( shocker right).
If this is bothering you, you need to ask yourself: is pressuring thyself affecting how thy participate in civilization ( such as work, academic, relationships)? Am thy hurting others ( by indecent exposure or self isolation)?
If you said yes or kind of to these questions, you should maybe talk to your healthcare provider.
*p.s. your friends sound mean and disgusting. If your friends jokes about masterbation hurt you, please seek new friends. Also friends dont need to know your " personal habits".
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I am the same way man. I just do it once a day and live a normal life n have a gf.
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Omg! I thought I was the only one with this problem. Im also a teen and literally you described my everyday to a t. Like sure I have a normal life but when I get home for the day... well it's like I just can't help it in a way. If I ignore it I get so freaking antsy and shaky.
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Totally normal
Everyone does it
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i am now 28 and i atleast have masturbated 360/365 a year since i was a teen. i Thought everyone did this and am now questioning it.
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Losing virginity as a woman?
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sexquestions
|
yxvxd2
| 7 |
General Question
| true | false | 1 | true |
Having PIV sex for the first time is not guaranteed to hurt or that you will bleed. It can happen but anxiety is what causes the most pain. Fear of being penetrated can be so severe it makes penetration impossible.
The best thing you can do for yourself is try to relax and explore yourself on your own before engaging with another person. Knowing your own body, being experienced in these sensations and confident in the mechanics of penetration will go a long way towards ensuring your first time is pleasant.
Masturbation is essential in successful sexual relations with others. If you don’t know what feels good you will struggle to communicate that to others. Confidence in your own body comes from knowledge, avoiding yourself will feed into the fear of the unknown when it comes time for someone else to connect with you in that way.
It can take up to 30 minutes for some women to become fully aroused, so you really want to take your time with foreplay. You should be swollen and very wet before attempting penetration. Being fully aroused is paramount to pleasurable penetration. This is because a fully aroused vagina will have had time to relax enough to accept an object, the cervix will have fully pulled up to accommodate an object and the vaginal canal will have produced enough lubricant to facilitate pleasurable thrusting.
Most women can’t orgasm from penetrative sex alone, around 70% need direct clitoral stimulation to achieve that. The clitoris is made up of the same kind of tissue as the glans of the penis and they serve the same purpose. You can see the anatomy side by side [here](https://vivianbaruch.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/Anatomy-of-cliroris-penis-Vivian-Baruch-online-Springwood.jpg). Some women can orgasm from having their G spot or A spot (indirect clitoral stimulation) stimulated during penetration but unless you have a very sensitive clitoris this is unlikely. There are also women with larger clitoris’s which allow for more stimulation for their partners body and in this way they are able to orgasm more easily as well.
You and your partner can explore the work of [this sex coach](https://m.youtube.com/c/CaitlinV) and find a lot of helpful information at [this blog](https://badgirlsbible.com). You can read a very thorough explanation of how pleasure works for women [here](https://www.naturalcycles.com/cyclematters/the-female-pleasure-anatomy-explained).
A great position for sex that stimulates your clit is called CAT or Coital Alignment Technique. It’s a lot like missionary but the penetrating partner grinds their penis up against the woman’s clitoris during penetration to help the woman reach orgasm. So the penetrator lays a little higher than in missionary and is completely inside the woman. It also changes the in-and-out thrusting of traditional PIV sex to a rocking motion that more resembles dry humping. The partner with the penis attempts to grind his pubic bone into the vulva of the woman and since that stimulates the clitoris, it's more likely to create the possibility of an orgasm in the woman.
You can watch an amazing educational sex video on how to orgasm during penetration [here](https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph626892a850604 )! She really does an excellent job breaking down different positions and encouraging communication between partners during their session.
Another great tip is to pay attention to your environment. Heat helps relax your muscles and blood vessels, it’s much easier to get aroused in a very warm room than it is in a cold one. Try cranking up the thermostat, lighting candles or indulging in a steamy bathroom. Lower the lighting to help creat a relaxing space and focus on just the feeling of being touched.
If you do find sex to be painful or your partner is unable to penetrate you because they “hit a wall” and this continues for several tries it would be time to make an appointment with your gynecologist as there may be an underlying condition that needs to be addressed before you can enjoy PIV. This is not uncommon and if it happens to you don’t freak out! Just call your Gyno and go from there :)
|
I slept with a childhood friend that I trusted to lose my virginity. It was nice because it was someone I trusted who cares about how I felt. It hurt for a bit but it wasn’t too bad!
|
I had a great time my first experience. No pain or bleeding at all. Nervous, but very good experience
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Mine didn’t hurt or bleed at all, felt very natural and fun. It was also with a partner I trusted and felt relaxed around
|
it hurt a little but he went out and bought lube for us, which made a very very big difference. it was still tight but it didnt hurt anymore :)
|
how do i properly clean out my insides after sex?
|
sexquestions
|
y00dgl
| 7 |
Body/Physical
| true | false | 1 | true |
That’s normal for creampies, some will come out right away while the rest comes out slowly over the next 24 hours or so.
How long have you been dealing with the smell? You said this was a recent change?
|
There are clinics that provide free or low cost/ sliding scale fee services. I'm not sure where you are or what's in your area but a planned parenthood, volunteers in medicine, or similar organization may be helpful.
Also, many doctor's offices will work with you and give you lower rates and/or set up payment plans if you explain your insurance situation.
|
I do NOT recommend this, but as someone who lives in the USA and has not had health insurance most of my life I do get sometimes get antibiotics online.
You can usually find the recommended antibiotic treatment for various problems from legitimate online resources, then look up appropriate dosaging. Obviously the most accurate method is taking a sample, running a plate, then testing to see what bacteria it is, but in my experience that is rare even for doctors to do.
For instance:
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/bacterial-vaginosis/diagnosis-treatment/drc-20352285
Lists these as common antibiotics for vaginal bacterial infections:
Metronidazole
Clindamycin
Tinidazole
Secnidazole
Googling "metronidazole dosage for bacterial vaginosis" gets you to:
https://www.mayoclinic.org/drugs-supplements/metronidazole-oral-route/proper-use/drg-20064745
Where it describes normal dosaging information based on infection type and body weight.
https://www.petproducts-online.com/fish-metro.html
Since access to online antibiotics is limited you may not be able to get the top choice, but in my experience over the years at least one of the recommended antibiotics is viable.
Again, I do NOT recommend this. This puts you fully responsible for your own treatment, which is an especially vulnerable position for someone who is untrained in medicine and as someone trying to treat themselves AND as someone buying drugs off the internet from less than official sources.
|
Boric acid suppositories. Could never live without it! Stick it up there after sex and it will cleans you of any bacteria/smell.
|
[removed]
|
Is it normal to masturbate as a whole?
|
sexquestions
|
x9cdu6
| 7 |
General Question
| true | true | 0.82 | true |
It is absolutely normal to masturbate. In fact, there are proven benefits to masturbation.
Sexual needs are in most people. Needs vary per person. My partner masturbates several times a day and still has energy left for sex. My ex on the other hand was much lower in his sex drive. Similarly, I'm quite high myself.
I understand very well why you feel the need to compare yourself in what is normal and not with other people, specifically people on the spectrum, I know from experience! I have also since learned that this only causes us stress and strain. Look at what *you* need and want, and consider based on your *own* situation whether what you need and want is problematic. Masturbating daily is rarely an issue.
An addiction really is only the case if it impedes your daily life structurally. That your school/work gets negatively impacted, social contacts suffer, and your life starts revolving around the one thing that you are addicted to. Is this the case with you? If so, then it is worth consulting an expert, a therapist, and not self-treatment.
The no-fap community is an aggressive one. I have done a lot of research into this and while a lot of it is funded and propagated by religious extremist groups, it has since taken a life of its own. I have looked at their sites and blogs and was shocked by the amount of misinformation and false promises. It is to the point that several subs I also frequent have banned any mention of no-fap, because if people speak against it, there's armies of no-fap type supporters that cause a lot of trouble. The misinfo spread by them is also a continued issue.
If you find this difficult to believe, then I urge you to consult with your GP on masturbation and your concerns. It's best to get your info from medical experts when you are stressing about questions such as these!
TLDR yes it is perfectly normal to masturbate daily or several times a day.
|
First off, a doctor will not ask you about masturbation unless you have a healthcare related issue pertaining to your genitals (even then, it’s highly unlikely to be asked). The closest your doctor will inquire is whether you are sexually active as it pertains to potential STD or birth control. As for whether masturbation is “natural,” there are numerous examples of masturbation in other species as well (such as turkey, dolphin, bovine, dog, etc). Ultimately, masturbation is an activity that will cost you time so you just have to decide via cost-benefit analysis if the satisfaction of masturbation is worth the time investment and potential negative feelings incurred (i.e. shame). I’m not saying you should have any negative feelings about masturbation but realistically, we often impose these negative thoughts on ourselves based on the community/culture we live in.
|
Masturbation is a very healthy activity and has many benefits. You can read more about that [here](https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/324068#summary) and [here](https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a19534050/5-reasons-you-should-masturbate-tonight/). You only have a problem if your sessions interfere with personal, school or work responsibilities, you’re causing physical harm to yourself or others, and/or it’s keeping you from maintaining a healthy, romantic relationship. Porn shouldn’t exceed 4 hours a week but less than that is perfectly fine. Outside of those factors you can masturbate as much as you like!
| null | null |
Is there such a thing as being 'too tight'
|
sexquestions
|
w7pfjy
| 7 |
Body/Physical
| true | true | 1 | true |
Have you had an issues with tampons? Was he able to penetrate you completely? Any pain?
If you’ve never been penetrated the vaginal muscles will be unused to being stretched in that manner and can be “super tight” as a result. With more regular penetration your vagina should relax and penetration will become easier.
|
Well I’m a little girl and I’m not very tall or actually I’m a little woman and almost 60 and still very active sexually my husband has always wanted to fist me and he isn’t a large man but he’s lucky to get two sometimes three fingers in me.
|
Yes! It gets better. Use lube, start with a finger, then two fingers. Sometimes you need to warm that pussy up before you take the D. And lube, lube, lube!!
|
A few things:
1) how big was he?
2) how stimulated were you?
I'm on the large side and foreplay is essential. Also some women are tighter than others. I suspect some women always need to be turned on for easy entry. For me, some women need to be really wet for easy entry and that can take an intense foreplay session.
I think a well turned on woman can take any man...it's a matter of how turned on she needs to be.
|
You could look up vaginismus and see if that fits with what you're experiencing.
Getting comfortable with your own penetrative masturbation first, might be useful before bringing a partner in.
|
Me and my best friend like to masturbate together… but I have a girlfriend… is it wrong?
|
sexquestions
|
vqgl5j
| 6 | null | true | true | 0.88 | true |
If you’re doing anything sexual with someone else without permission while in a monogamous relationship, that is cheating.
You need to discuss this with her and accept whatever she says.
|
This is something you need to speak to your girlfriend about. She deserves to know.
| null | null | null |
How to deal with parents catch me fap?
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sexquestions
|
r5p09f
| 8 | null | true | true | 1 | true |
Every male does it. Your dad probably did it just before he caught you. He doesn't care as much as you think he does.
|
By “the talk” I hope you mean that he assured you there was nothing wrong with what you were doing! Masturbation is totally normal most people do it and unfortunately occasionally we get caught and it’s super embarrassing 🥲
The only thing you can do is just move forward. Accept that it’s going to be awkward for a little while but not forever. You both are unlikely to ever forget about it but it won’t always be looming over your head. Just give it some time.
Hopefully either you’ll remember to lock your door in the future or they will allow you to invest in a lock or your father has learned that he needs to knock before entering your room.
| null | null | null |
Question for the people in relationships
|
sexquestions
|
qzcwkq
| 6 | null | true | true | 0.88 | true |
Married, two kids, so yeah I masturbate. Kids go to bed, wife’s not in the mood, gotta get a good night sleep somehow
|
In a relationship yeah I maturbate. Sometimes we can’t see each other so you gotta please yourself somehow.
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Masturbation is healthy. It doesnt mean youre not attracted to your so or youre not in love with them if you masturbate. Its natural and you should satisfy those urges when you want.
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Yes actually (21 M)Currently I’m long distance so that’s all I have, but sometimes you just need the alone time. It’s sometimes just more convenient especially when you don’t feel like going through the whole process of having sex.
|
Yup. When he is not here and I am horny, I'm not going to just starve to death. I also know he stays up later than me and if I have to sleep he'll just go by himself. Nothing wrong with that we still have as much sex
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Does a vagina stink as bad as a penis?
|
sexquestions
|
pakf9z
| 6 | null | true | true | 0.76 | true |
No. Vaginas are self cleaning, foreskins aren't.
Vaginas are constantly secreting cleansing fluids and normally have a balance of good bacteria that eat the bad bacteria. The secretions flush out the dead bacteria. Showering the outside is the only cleaning required. Cleaning inside can upset the healthy balance.
Penis tips do not have this feature.
Everyone is different, a healthy vagina and vulva will have a slightly pungent, sex musk odor that most people don't mind, some love, and a few don't.
|
Due to the body shape, even if she doesnt clean it, by having a bath it will clean it easy. Same doesnt happen to us, specially for is uncircumcised. ALso vaginas have the hability to secreting cleansing fluids, something man dont have
|
Any skin with folds will stink pretty bad if the skin owner is disgusting and doesn't wash.
If you are with a person who understands even the basics of personal hygiene it won't be an issue
I also recommend YOU learn the basics of personal hygiene
|
It’s guys like you that give uncut men a bad name. Wash your rancid ass dick bro
|
ive got to say as someone (male) who does wash regularly but sometimes is unable to due to other factors in life… yes uncut dicks can get very very rancid but i have found that if you are for one reason or another unable to wash completely for an extended amount of time that if you use a wet wipe and then use a wet cloth with some kind of soap (dish soap, shower gel or body soap whatever you have) and then a dry cloth and then a wet wipe every day, it tends to deter (or mask?) the stench until you have got the correct facilities to properly wash. i hope this helps, but please if you can wash yo dick!
|
Tiny penis problem?
|
sexquestions
|
p4bq7i
| 6 | null | true | true | 0.81 | true |
[deleted]
|
If you really like this guy and you really want something long-term with him, I'd suggest you have a conversation with him to ease his anxiety. If he's giving you orgasms without his penis that may be something to consider helping him with his confidence.
In your past relationships with well endowed guys, did they care about your orgasms to the same intensity that this guy does?
|
Ask him to use a penis extension, one that gives him stimulation and obviously pleases you. He's already using alternative methods to please you. Use that logic to get him to see it your way and agree in getting one or a few for different sizes, girth patterns. He may be into it and it could give him more sexual confidence.
|
Also to add with the penis extension allow him to and figure out with him his best position and stroke to get you off with just his penis. Keep all options open and help him help you enjoy more.
|
Keep the guy and bring a few toys into your play together. A guy that can make you cum intentionally, not just incidentally, is worth his weight in gold.
|
Is this even a kink/fetish, if so what kind?
|
sexquestions
|
oaonc8
| 8 | null | true | true | 1 | true |
One of my favorite things to do is eat a woman out while she tells me about her especially if it was rough. Its been an after work ritual I've had with a few girlfriends. I never expect reciprocation its more my way to show appreciation and help them relax. I'm not verbally affectionate and find expressing emoakward but i can give you 30 minutes to vent and an orgasm
|
It's not a kink or a fetish. It's called enjoying the fact that you can make your partner have an orgasm. If everybody was like him the world would be a happier place lol.
|
Some people call it a pleasing kink, but it's not exactly this. These things are like spaghetti in a way, very interconnected. He gets off on getting other people off.
| null | null |
Serious question about Dirty Talk?
|
sexquestions
|
nlog5u
| 7 | null | true | true | 0.9 | true |
You are way over thinking this. Do what comes naturally, enjoy the moment, and do your best to satisfy your partner.
When you try to overcomplicate things, sex becomes a chore, and no longer a pleasurable experience.
| null | null | null | null |
...how do i finger myself?
|
sexquestions
|
mi54ga
| 7 | null | true | true | 1 | true |
Calm down. I'm guessing you have tried a few times and it hurt and now you are here stressed out.
Even if you are properly lubricated it can hurt if you stress it out. You anticipate pain or are stressed out in other ways you tend to tense out muscles down there basically shutting you closed. At that point ramming fingers or anything just hurts.
So try to calm down, be at space where you feel safe and calm. Touch your self gently and do not even try to penetrate your self just masturbate rub your clit what ever floats your boat and after a while, lets say 15 min try to put a finger in, and if it hurts don't force it just keep having fun. (Bit check the clock 15 is a lot longer than it feels and you actually want go give your body time to figure out whats going pn even if your mind is ready)
If you cum and want to stop or run out of time dont worry there is next time always.
Also check for fingernails, if you have long. Also try at different times of your cycle as to some at some points it might be too sensitive anyhow.
Hope this helps, happy self exploring!
|
Even if you feel like your body is lubricating itself it could help to use some lube. Just like ⬆️ said you being scared could make your body tense up. And isn’t lubricating as much as you need.
| null | null | null |
How many times a day is normal to masturbate, and can doing it too often cause health problems?
|
sexquestions
|
l111yz
| 6 | null | true | true | 0.88 | true |
It gets to not be great when you have a real person do it after you’ve been masturbating often. I can’t usually finish unless I take 2-4 days off before seeing someone
|
Personally I go 3-4 average some more or less, wont cause health problems
|
I used to 1-2 a day, now its like maybe every 2-3 weeks.
No health changes.
Mental health is a bit different, for me I used to be horny all the time, but now its less frequent but more severe.
|
Still nearly every day
|
[deleted]
|
What age is to young to lose my virginity? (SERIOUS)
|
sexquestions
|
j572tm
| 7 | null | true | true | 0.9 | true |
The importance to me is 1) understanding your body/how it works/how to communicate properly in saying no & stopping things. 2) If you’re under 18, don’t do it with someone over 18. If you’ve been dating someone for a while & you both feel ready, go for it! But seriously— not if there’s a significant age gap (in the teen years, a significant age gap to me personally is 3 years; 2+\- years seems more normal to me). Basically, just because Romeo & Juliet laws exist, doesn’t mean that that kind of age gap in a relationship at such a vast mental age gap is a decent idea.
Honestly, anyone under 16 having sex seems absolutely crazy to me, though I personally know people who’ve done it.
Signed, a 21 year old woman who lost her virginity at 16 to a 21 year old and seriously understand how GROSS that is
|
15
|
lost mine when i just turned 15. 15 is probably too young in hindsight
|
16/17
|
15
|
Would you like to know if people are masturbating to your pictures?
|
sexquestions
|
iuxvbi
| 6 | null | true | true | 0.81 | true |
Well ... I’m a man who would like to know if a woman was masturbating to my pics
|
I'm a man who gets off on the fact anyone could be finding me in there shamefully fantasies day or night. Sexting is great fun cuz I find people find compliments sexual or not... "Cheese". Weird I know
|
My girlfriend told me she masturbates to my pics
|
I know people masterbate to my pictures. I have been told by many people, including my girlfriend
| null |
Do Women Care
|
sexquestions
|
y4offc
| 5 |
General Question
| true | false | 0.86 | true |
Not all of us, no. I personally much prefer an average sized penis, big ones hurt me, but I cannot speak for all women since we make up half the world's population. There are size queens, sure, and they prefer what they prefer, no judgement. But generally speaking, nah, what matters is what you do, not whay size you are.
|
AFAB here. (Non-binary)
Superficially, I care. In practice, in actuality, nope. The longer, the more likely the penis will touch the the A and P spots that are near the cervix and damn...those spots are magic. 🤤
But if the schlong doesn't tingle those spots, there are other ways to get there. 🤪
|
I am a woman. Personally and objectively, I do care about size. Humans are not objects though. If I am interested in a person who has a smaller member than I prefer, there are toys for that. If the person has a larger one than I can comfortably handle, there are sleeves and training for that.
There are people out there who like dicks that are larger than what is humanly possible. Some like dicks that are small and rock hard, some like them large and squishy, some like the texture of tentacle suckers, some like the corn cob texture. Toys are your ally (I like to call them pleasure tools).
There are so many ways to bring another person pleasure. It's all about knowing what your partner enjoys and exploring together. Familiarize yourself with the pleasure tools that are out there, because they're often so much more enjoyable when paired with a person who enjoys using them with others. I'd advise finding some toys specifically for your pleasure and having your partner use them on you too!
Life is full of compromise and sex is no exception. The most important thing to me, is that you own who you are and are willing to communicate openly and honestly.
I.E. "This is what I have to bring to the table and this is what I enjoy. How can we work together to bring each other fun and fulfillment?"
This is how I feel about the matter.
|
Depends on the size
Depends on the man attached to it
Depends on what they’re looking for
And also depends on the woman
|
No if it’s too big it hurts and I like to be rammed like a jack hammer. The smallest I ever had was always had me in positions that stimulated my clit that was magical. If the only thing I person with a penis has to offer in bed is their size that means their sex game is weak
|
Is it safe to eat out a prostitute?
|
sexquestions
|
w7waue
| 5 |
Advice Needed
| true | false | 0.86 | true |
Generally SW’s take STI protection seriously and use protection/test regularly. However this is not a universal thing, they’re people and people do what they want.
At the end of the day, it’s no safer or riskier than fluid sharing with any other partner.
Your best course of action is to communicate, test regularly and take precautions if you have concerns.
|
It's not safe to eat out anyone but we do anyways so no it's not it's up to you to take that risk. Is the vhande of catching something worse that mouthful of fun?
| null | null | null |
Not sure what to call kink?
|
sexquestions
|
w0nb5h
| 7 |
Kinks/Fetishes
| true | true | 1 | true |
Pussy Worship!
|
I would hold on to that man if I were you haha.
| null | null | null |
Does anyone eat their own cum?
|
sexquestions
|
uwejtq
| 8 | null | true | true | 1 | true |
Not regularly but I have out of her mouth or vag.
|
I do
|
I don’t I know people who do and love it, if I’m going down on my girl and there’s come I’m not going to shy away though
|
I haven't. I've never had a male's cum in my mouth, only pussy juice. I like sucking cocks but cum is still an unsurity for me. I'm open to try it tho
| null |
Do girls watch porn?
|
sexquestions
|
u9yy5a
| 7 | null | true | true | 1 | true |
All totally depends on the person. I usually use PornHub and any time I need a little kick I go on there. Not often but sometimes. It also helps me get in the mood faster when I’m alone/bored. Everyone is different when it comes to this honestly.
|
Yes, we do. In my experience and through discussions with other women, I’ve come to the conclusion that porn is made by the male gaze for the male gaze. In other words, mainstream porn doesn’t cater to women’s wants or sexual desires. This is why companies like Bellesa (https://www.bellesa.co) are starting to take up space in the porn industry. They are an equitable company run by women, and all of their porn is directed by women with the intent of being consumed by women.
In other words, women don’t consume porn at the rate men do because mainstream porn was never meant for us. This industry gap has incentivized female-owed adult entertainment companies and female-directed adult movies to directly target women
EDIT: the entire genre of erotica (as well as romance books as a whole) is dominated be women both as writers and readers. Porn doesn’t exist in just visual forms. I actually prefer reading erotica (or as romance readers call it, “smut”) than watching porn because I feel better connected to the characters and can better insert myself in the story, whereas a lot of the porn on pornhub and other mainstream sources is five seconds of ridiculous dialogue and then the male actor fucking his supposed step sister.
|
I mostly enjoy audio stuff or erotica books but I do indulge in regular video porn from time to time
|
Sometimes just depends on the mood
|
Of course. And girls fart too 🤯
|
Should i bring condoms or should i not be worried at all?
|
sexquestions
|
s4zm1j
| 6 | null | true | true | 1 | true |
Why would it be weird if she saw you had a condom? Yes, always be prepared. Bring more than one and don’t keep them in your wallet! Additionally if you’re using lube (which helps a lot if you apply to yourself before the condom as well as on the condom before insertion) be sure you use a silicone or water based lube. Oil will degrade the condom.
|
If you're not sure, you had better be safe. Even if she doesn't intend to go that far that night, I'm sure she would appreciate that you were thoughtful enough to cover all bases.
|
You should always have a condom.
| null | null |
Should I take this as a complement?
|
sexquestions
|
s2nlqm
| 5 | null | true | true | 0.86 | true |
It’s a huge compliment. [This](https://5.imimg.com/data5/TF/DB/MY-2988189/quick-action-bench-vice-500x500.png) is a vice, a tool with an incredibly strong grip to hold things in place while you work on them. A vice’s grip is so strong it can crush things.
| null | null | null | null |
How to use a vibrator for external masturbation?
|
sexquestions
|
rvgcta
| 6 | null | true | true | 1 | true |
Can I ask what vibrator you have? Different models are better than others for clitoral stimulation.
|
It's about the length of my middle finger and a little thicker than my thumb. My friend says it's a gspot finder. I also have a bullet that's about the length and width of my pinky finger. No idea how to use either
|
At the very top of your slit you will find the clitoris covered by it’s hood much like a penis with foreskin. Lindsey with sexplanations on YouTube does a great job with sex education and can help you with topics like this. https://m.youtube.com/c/sexplanations/videos?view=0&sort=p&flow=list
|
Thank you
|
Honestly, I just lay it on the bed and kind of ride/grind on top (and imagine being on top lol). Have like a pillow that you can grip so you're propped up on your elbows because not only will you have great control, but working your core leads to great orgasms.
Have fun!
|
Are condoms supposed to hurt
|
sexquestions
|
peswg4
| 7 | null | true | true | 1 | true |
YOU NEED A BIGGER SIZE IMMEDIATELY.
|
That is most definitely not normal, I would say that they shouldn't indent the skin, or if they do not much
|
Not normal at all dont have sex like that, get a bigger size
|
Different brands have different "forms", I've been with a guy who also hated durex but had a much better experience with different brands.
Definitely experiment with it!
|
r/bigdickproblems
Seriously though, check their FAQ for lots of condom sizing information and how to work out which nominal width you probably should be buying.
|
[Serious] Ladies of Reddit, what do you think of having a sugar daddy or moneyslave ? Why do you feel that way ?
|
sexquestions
|
oht1o7
| 5 | null | true | true | 0.78 | true |
Im not a girl but considering the lockdowns destroyed my income...... I could do with a suger mommy.
|
Meh...
Doesn't appeal to me. In any way shape or form
|
I'm FtM but pansexual. I'd love it but feel guilty every time I get something or ask for something. It would just make me feel selfish while there are people out there who have nothing and I'm living a good life.
|
I’d love to have a sugar daddy but there are so many scams out there that it makes a lot of women not interested in risking that. But I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that kink and I’d gladly be a sugar baby if the terms and conditions were right for me :)
|
If I wasn’t married I probably would try it
|
I don't feel like I get any enjoyment from my partner's pleasure. Is there something wrong with me?
|
sexquestions
|
nioozi
| 6 | null | true | true | 0.88 | true |
I don't think that this is something that "regular people" deal with much. That does not make you a bad person though. Do you enjoy sex for yourself? If not, you may actually be asexual or at least somewhat in that direction. This could also be anxiety about the act of sex or the intimacy of it.
What is your sexual background and age?
|
I feel like I’ve been with quite a few guys who are selfish in bed and don’t care about their partners enjoyments so you’re not alone
| null | null | null |
Is this unhealthy? Also fetish question.
|
sexquestions
|
lud5yx
| 7 | null | true | true | 1 | true |
[removed]
|
Not unhealthy, might want to watch out for yeast infections though
|
When fucking the fleshlight with strap on is the strap on rubbing on ur clit or anything, or you just orgasm from fucking it?
| null | null |
Question about choking
|
sexquestions
|
kur2yh
| 6 | null | true | true | 1 | true |
Choke and squeeze with your hand. Apply most of the pressure on the sides of the neck. Never push down, pushing your palm and toward the trachea (windpipe) this is most likely where the pain comes from.
|
I thoght that the pain would be inside the throat
|
My wife loves me to do this during sex
I apply pressure to the side the windpipe where the artery is, apparently it cuts off blood to the brain, it takes a couple of seconds for her to pass out
BEWARE though it’s very dangerous
|
The way to properly choke is to gently grab the neck, and squeezing the sides, it slows down blood flow and is exciting for the bottom.
| null |
Is it high sex drive or is it normal?
|
sexquestions
|
kk5pfl
| 7 | null | true | true | 0.89 | true |
You're just a horny age. You're all full of testosterone. I think it's normal.
|
I think it crosses the lines into nympho when you’re letting an orgasm get in the way of you doing productive things. Don’t start doing it at work.
|
The term currently used is sex addict, not nymphomaniac. Unless you are harming your body in any way or your sex habits hinder your everyday functionality or your relationships in any way, the words you need are "horny 20 year old", not "sex addict" :-)
|
I used to do it in the highschool in the bathroom, I still do it all the time. I’m out of highschool now (19) and I still find myself doing it twice a day. I left my ex girlfriend recently and we would fuck at least once or twice a day (if I got lucky lol) I mean idk if you’d call me a sex addict but I think that’s pretty normal. Correct me I’d I’m wrong tho. I mean we are on this Reddit page after all
| null |
Is it weird that I don’t watch porn but I’m curious about sex?
|
sexquestions
|
kczydr
| 6 | null | true | true | 1 | true |
No not at all. I didn’t really watch porn when I was younger, but was still curious about all there was about sex. I don’t really watch porn now either, but I’m not as curious as I was when I hit puberty.
For reference I am 25f and lost my virginity at 17. There is still sexual things I am curious about, but have plenty of time to explore all there is.
|
Porn doesn’t teach anyone what “real” sex is all about. I watched plenty of porn, but not to learn anything (with the possible exception of the extensive array of human kinks). If you’re interested in sex, the best thing to do is to spend time with someone you’re actually having sex with, or someone you really want to have sex with. Learning about the totality of another person is what makes you a phenomenal lover. It’s not about raw technique. It’s about complete understanding and acceptance. This leads to vulnerability, which leads to incredible sexual connections.
| null | null | null |
Why do some girls call men daddy?
|
sexquestions
|
j6qszb
| 6 | null | true | true | 0.81 | true |
Unfortunately I like to be called it very much. Even though I am not male. A girl I’m talking to now loves to call me it. She wants me to feel important and that I’m in control. And it’s a major turn on. I know, how regressive.
|
I never use to like being called it at all but my girlfriend would call me that a lot when things would get sexual and over time I started to like it more
|
I liked girls with daddy issues. And I guess it was like a personal chip on my shoulder to have someone’s daughter call me daddy.
|
[deleted]
|
My girlfriend calls me daddy.
She is the first who ever called me like that and i don't mind her, i admit .... i actually love it.
It's part of or DDlg-play. ... and our age gap is pretty huge. :)
... and yes, i've startet to call her "daughter" from time to time.
|
Strange Masturbation?
|
sexquestions
|
izgult
| 6 | null | true | true | 0.88 | true |
eee okay so i’m female and i can never get myself off with my hands so i grind on a pillow while watching solo male porn >.<
|
Weirdest masturbation for me was a homemade flesh-light. Haven't really done much else 🤣
|
Hehehe... well, when I was a kid (around the ages of 6-9) I used pens and markers, of course I hid them so no one could use them.
But BEFORE THAT, I used the rocking horse. It was in the basement of my grandma’s house. I won’t go into too much detail about how I used it but let me just say the cool thing was that the rocking horse was with springs attached to the metal base, so it could bounce in different directions. It wasn’t one on crescent wooden beams.
|
Male, hole in stuffed animal, moms dildo, and couch cushions yeah
|
I was alone out in the woods, sun tanning, and felt the need, so I experimented with some green small pine cones. Inserting them and rubbing them across my clit.
I'm female and was in my 20's at the time, and had been reading an erotic novel.
|
Is it safe to eat your own cum?
|
sexquestions
|
iw880c
| 7 | null | true | true | 0.89 | true |
Why wouldn’t it be? Every woman in the world who ever swallowed when she should’ve spit would be dead otherwise.
|
I normally don’t judge but why?
| null | null | null |
What to expect when losing my virginity
|
sexquestions
|
ioolcd
| 6 | null | true | true | 0.81 | true |
1. I think it’s good u haven’t had sex with his previous girlfriend (joke)
2. For play makes it easier
3. Use lube
4. Ask him to start slow.
|
Also it may hurt... Don't be afraid to tell him that and stop half way through. The first time quite often isn't great but if you're in a caring relationship don't let that stop you from trying again another time ;)
|
Lot’s of foreplay (at least 20 minutes) and use lube even if you don’t think you need it.
If it hurts, just call a time out and either go back to making out or take a break. No big deal. The pain is from 1. your vaginal opening not being wide enough and 2. from the muscles in your vagina being clenched because you’re nervous (or, ironically, anticipating pain). After one or two times, your vaginal opening will be stretched and you’ll be fine. And the lube really does help.
The more relaxed you are, the less it will hurt. If you notice that your jaw is clenched, that means other muscles in your body are clenched. So take a slow, deep breath and focus on relaxing your jaw. It’s weird advice but I promise it works.
Also, pee right after (within 10 minutes) you finish having sex so you don’t get a UTI.
| null | null |
Is Porn Cheating
|
sexquestions
|
ijqn1s
| 7 | null | true | true | 0.89 | true |
Not at all. My wife watches porn. It's completely normal
|
No it has nothing to do with your partner at all
|
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LLbDBxlNmNM&feature=share
|
No it's not. My SO and I watch alone and together. Sounds weird to look at it that way.
|
http://marripedia.org/effects_of_pornography
|
Ladies what do you consider small penis?
|
sexquestions
|
ihakzp
| 6 | null | true | true | 0.88 | true |
Honestly? Its only small if he doesn't know how to use it. I mean I guess micro-penis is a thing. but anything 5 and above is normal, down to 4 would be a little small. 7 is big... and i don't need anything bigger than that banging into my cervix, thanks. also cervical dysplasia is a thing...
|
What do you think?
(https://www.reddit.com/r/NSFW_Tributes/comments/ih2mf8/any_ladies_want_a_tribute_kik_justbecoolyo/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
|
Below 7
| null | null |
Is it normal to only enjoy anal with a partner?
|
sexquestions
|
yxl5o2
| 5 |
General Question
| true | true | 1 | true |
Dick feels different to toys, its a better experience
|
It’s not unusual to experience a heightened state of arousal when coupling with another person. Sex triggers the release of our sex related hormones in much higher doses than we experience during masturbation. This makes physical sensations much more intense.
|
I’m only guessing as I have no experience at all, but maybe the angle of the penetration?
| null | null |
How big should you really be??
|
sexquestions
|
ymoyzm
| 6 |
Advice Needed
| true | false | 1 | true |
7 inches is too big for me personally. 6 inches is perfect. No I'm not trying to boost your confidence. When it's too big it it goes too deep it hurts and when it's too tight it hurts. I find it uncomfortable. Also I gag on it alot less and I can give a better bj.
|
Size doesn’t matter if you are not aware how to use it. I would but generalise based on the internet. It all varies based on personal preferences. Ideally it should not stop you from talking to women. Sex is still a long way to go from making first contact with anyone.
|
You can see the worlds averages [here](https://manofmany.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/resize-scaled.webp). Penetration is such a small part of what sex actually is, it’s far more important to worry about who you are and how you treat people. Most women do not orgasm from penetration alone because they need direct clitoral stimulation. The clitoris is made up of the same kind of tissue as the glans of the penis and they serve the same purpose. You can see the anatomy side by side [here](https://vivianbaruch.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/Anatomy-of-cliroris-penis-Vivian-Baruch-online-Springwood.jpg). While some women can orgasm from indirect clitoral stimulation of their A Spot or G Spot during penetration, around 70% of women do not. Those with a very sensitive or larger clitoris have an easier time of it.
Your focus should be on foreplay, manual and oral sex. When it comes to actual penetration you should communicate with your partner throughput to be sure they’re getting proper stimulation and focus on positions that stimulate the clitoris. You should check out this [sex coach](https://m.youtube.com/results?sp=mAEA&search_query=caitlin) for a lot of great tips. You can also find a lot of information at this [blog](https://badgirlsbible.com). A great sex position for stimulating her clit is called CAT or Coital Alignment Technique. It’s a lot like missionary but the penetrating partner grinds their penis up against the woman’s clitoris during penetration to help the woman reach orgasm. So the penetrator lays a little higher than in missionary and is completely inside the woman. It also changes the in-and-out thrusting of traditional PIV sex to a rocking motion that more resembles dry humping. The partner with the penis attempts to grind his pubic bone into the vulva of the woman and since that stimulates the clitoris, it's more likely to create the possibility of an orgasm in the woman. You can watch an amazing educational sex video on how to orgasm during penetration [here](https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph626892a850604 )! She really does an excellent job breaking down different positions and encouraging communication between partners during their session. You can also check out r/HealthyPorn and r/ChickFlixxx for some realistic and healthy depictions of sex. Remember, confidence is sexy and the penis you’ve got is the only one you’ll ever have. Share it with confidence :)
|
Keep in mind the women on the internet are engaging in fantasy. Women are more likely to find larger penises uncomfortable than pleasurable.
|
I also question how often men lie to women and distort their beliefs with future partners about both penis size and height, because Guys lie ALL THE TIME about their penis size and height.
If you are a 5'1" girl and your first boyfriend claims he is 6'0" and has a 7" penis, are you going to know he is lying and that he is really only 5'8" with a 5" penis? Or are you going to break up with him and go "Well my ex was a nice size in both penis and height, so I would like a guy who is 6'0 with a 7" penis...."?
Not saying this happens in every instance, but I do wonder how often it is a factor.
|
Clear pee like liquid after ejaculating?
|
sexquestions
|
w965ef
| 5 |
General Question
| true | false | 1 | true |
You squirted, which is something not only women can do. Not much literature on it but you can read more [here](https://melmagazine.com/en-us/story/male-squirting-orgasm-porn-video-how-to) and [here](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32743357/).
|
Did it smell like urine?
|
It’s Squirt, didn’t know men could do it. It’s clear and has a sweet smell but comes out of the bladder. You for sure know when you clear your bladder beforehand and get that extreme ‘have to pee’ feeling during sex. Nothing to be embarrassed about
| null | null |
Should two virgins need to be worried abt getting STDs?
|
sexquestions
|
w47w3i
| 5 |
General Question
| true | true | 0.86 | true |
Extremely unlikely but there are some STDs and other illnesses that also have non-sex based infection vectors but can still be transmitted due to sex. Crabs is a good example.
Also pregnancy is always a risk (unless you’re same sex) and boy howdy you don’t want that unless you’re ready for it.
|
Lots of good comments here. I have to add two things though.
You say you plan to only do oral stuff, but plan for more. The fact you don't have protection won't stop you from changing your mind.
Also, take care of yourselves individually. You know about yourself, that's it. Don't think about trust, consider only facts.
One more thing actually. Exchange notes, express your feelings and thoughts, communicate.
|
[deleted]
|
The only STDs that you could possibly have are the ones that aren't just transmitted through sex; because of your sexual history and (probable) young age, these are also highly unlikely.
The one thing to watch out for is herpes. Both the oral and the genital version can spread through oral sex. So basically, don't do oral sex if the other one has ulcers.
Generally, STDs is not anything you should need to worry about, just don't be idiots.
|
Get vaccinated against HPV first, it is insanely common and most men are asymptomatic.
|
what body hair is normal on women
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sexquestions
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w0sckh
| 6 |
Body/Physical
| true | false | 1 | true |
Pretty much anything but ball hair is normall for women. Then theres ball hair for the women with something extra to love.
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I think you are good the way you are. When you first met and like each other no one cares about hair.
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Body hair is normal. It comes down to preference really. A lot of young guys expect you to be clean shaven everywhere. They don't care so much as they get older. Personally (I'm 27f) I really only trim up the lady bits every once in a while and shave my legs when I'm dressing up. Shaving gets old after awhile. I'm also quite hairy but the more you shave it the more there is.
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Whatever you choose your partner should be okay with it. No one should be telling you to alter your physical features. But me personally I love hair and would be more than happy to have it. Hair is womanly, primal, and hot as hell. Plus it holds pheromones. Unlike most men it seems I hate when women shave lol. I want the full bush damn it!
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Woman = seal
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should have to men wear condoms in a one night stand?
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sexquestions
|
vfbiy7
| 5 | null | true | true | 0.86 | true |
You’re asking if consent is necessary for sex and the answer is always a resounding yes. If a woman only consents to sex with the use a condom then you must use a condom.
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Definitely
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IMO a guy should always want to wear one with a one night stand, no matter what. You don’t know each other and you’d be trusting her to be honest. You can’t know for sure that she’s really on birth control
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Also, STDs are very common. Wear a condom, protect yourself please. You might not know whether she has STDs. You might not know whether you have STDs.
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Yes. STDs are always a risk. And personally I wouldn't trust a one night stand to be taking the pill correctly. Unprotected sex with a one night stand is just asking for problems.
And yes, you also have the right to demand your sexual partner uses protection. And can withdraw consent if they refuse.
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How to cope
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sexquestions
|
spmwwk
| 4 | null | true | true | 0.84 | true |
https://www.reddit.com/r/DeadBedrooms/comments/kzv5os/how_i_overcame_the_dreaded_madonnawhore_complex/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
That is a post by someone who overcame their Madonna Whore Complex.
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You have to decide if this is what you want for the rest of your life. With that being said, if he can’t/won’t make love to you, is he willing to let you go out and have sex with other people safely. Also, does he have sex with other women/escorts that you know of?
| null | null | null |
Has sexting your wife worked?
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sexover30
|
11gcypk
| 29 | null | true | true | 0.91 | true |
I've done this a couple of times recently. She's not super vocal, but she seems to enjoy it.
Usually, the day after we have a great evening of sex is when I send it. I like to try to give positive reinforcement when we have great sex so I write about how much I enjoyed the previous night, specific things that she did that I liked, I mix in a ton of sincere compliments about her body and how much she turns me on, add a smattering of dirty things I'll be dreaming of until next time, and voila! She's been sexted!
Yours would be different because you're trying to get her in the mood rather than offer positive reinforcement. But you can come up with something good! Try it. I doubt it could hurt!
|
I love sexting but my boyfriend isn’t really in to it, so it always dies with me.
Just start out with something flirtatious and go from there.
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I’ve tried but mine is really bad at it lol. She says she enjoys what I send her, but it’s rare she actually plays along. Once in a great while she’ll send me the ole eggplant and peach emoji combo which usually means she’s horny, but that’s about it.
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Started sexting my wife when we she had to travel for work and was away for a week. We had phone sex first and then immediately after I started telling her how and where I would like to kiss her. And the next day I was texting her during the day saying how much I am looking forward to it.
Pretty soon texting was not enough and I started writing emails about which session was fun.
To this day we email each other and I love that we are open to each others kink. And we now communicate without fear of being judged which makes emailing so much more fun.
|
Love it personally. We don't really need a lead up, but if I start, I usually tell him how handsome he looked before leaving for work and how I can't stop thinking about his cock/ass/etc. If he's got time and can message back, I'll talk to him about what I would have done he could of stayed home.
Basically the same works for me too!
|
Finger vibrators?
|
sexover30
|
11dl83u
| 10 |
Seeking Advice
| true | true | 0.76 | true |
Are you sure that is really what you want?
Having a toy actually attached to your fingers can be very cumbersome and awkward.
I would suggest a "regular" vibrator that you can easily hold and put down and is "longer" in order to better reach certain areas.
YMMV
|
Consider a slimline gspot vibe.
They're cheap, powerful, and the shape makes it easy to use in every position regardless of body type.
|
Dame Products -[Fin](https://dame.com/products/fin?variant=12146389745772)
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I want something like this for my wife.
We have a bullet and a wand, but both get in the way of certain positions. It's hard to find something strong and small enough.
|
Try a pinpoint vibe like this
https://www.lelo.com/lelo-dot?gclid=Cj0KCQiA6fafBhC1ARIsAIJjL8n0MGEln_tZmfORrps5azh9y1e6V9V_i0o9VDozbTh2m3Esl2fJmQUaAkssEALw_wcB
(LELO toys are stupid expensive, but it was the quickest example I could find)
You can put it EXACTLY where you want it and it doesn’t take up nearly as much space as a wand would, which will allow use in positions where your legs are closer together (prone bone, spoons). Also, because the vibration is very targeted it doesn’t transfer to your partner, ymmv on if that’s a good thing or a bad, but personally when my wife is using a pinpoint I’m good the hang in until she’s had as many orgasms as she’d like, with a magic wand the count down until I’m in spectator mode is running right away.
|
Our teenager heard us having sex and now is all upset about it. What now?
|
sexover30
|
119q2hp
| 199 | null | true | true | 0.92 | true |
I walked in on my parents having sex when I was 16. I was absolutely horrified at the time and called my sister who was 28 to tell her.
She was stoked for them.
It’s just an age thing. He’ll get over it!!
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Just leave it. Don’t embarrass him by trying to talk about it.
There has never been a teenager in history who weren’t disgusted by their parents having sex. He will eventually realize that he should be happy you’re f**ing and not fighting.
|
My oldest fully walked in on us a few years ago, shrieked, backed out of the room like she was on fire. It was hilariously mortifying for all of us. The next morning we had a chat and we said look we're sorry about that- in the future please knock and we'll be better about locking the door if needed. Let me tell you, she has NEVER not knocked again. She has made the odd comment about 'who knows what she'll find' in our bedroom so I'm assuming she's snooped once or twice and seen toys etc she didn't want to- but at a certain point life is a play stupid games win stupid prizes and I'm not apologizing for having a good sex life 20 years in. As they get older they will realize how positive that actually is.
I'm sure they all hear us more than we would like and in spite of our efforts, whether that's fighting or fucking. They also all have headphones and speakers so...shrug.
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Leave it be. That’s the last thing I would have wanted to talk about when I was a teenager.
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He’s embarrassed, but that’s his emotional development.
“Sex is normal and is a part of most healthy relationships. We will do our best to ensure our private time doesn’t bleed over, it you have to understand we are not perfect.
You’re not wrong to have your feelings, but we will not be shamed for loving one another and expressing it how we deem fit.
I hope you can understand, but perhaps next time you can put on headphones/sleep/play a game/ignore it/suck it up.”
We live in a similar house situation, so while we have courtesy, we aren’t perfect. It’s normal, so don’t let his lapse of development slow you down!
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Partner made me feel insecure about expressing a desire to indulge in a fetish. Finding myself drawing back into a hole.
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sexover30
|
11492up
| 12 | null | true | true | 0.64 | true |
Details of what you’re asking for, how you asked, and what your partner’s response was would help us get a better sense of how to navigate this, because right now it’s too vague. What was said and how it was experienced can be two very different things, and would change the potential outcome.
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>I have a fetish that we don’t often do but every now and then will bring up when I’m really looking to have a good time. Partner gave me crap about it and I’m finding myself keeping more and more to myself... I basically begged for it, she didn’t reciprocate and then made me feel bad about it.
If your fetish is one that your partner is not okay with, then doing it together is not going to work. If you check the BDSM forums, they will tell you that sex always needs to stay at the comfort level of the less-kinky partner. Begging your partner to do something sexual that they don't want is not going to help anything.
|
It somewhat depends on *how* she "made [you] feel bad about it." Did she shame you for *having* the kink? Or did she criticize you for "begging" (i.e., pressuring) her to indulge your kink?
Because you're entitled to your kink, but you're not entitled to push your partner to do something she's made it clear she doesn't want to do. If you were trying to pressure or coerce her into it, she was completely within her rights to push back.
I think you need to decide whether lack of compatibility on this kink is a dealbreaker for you, because it sounds like her willingness to indulge you with it is fast disappearing.
A question to think about:
What do you do that is purely for her pleasure? It has to be something she actually loves and wants, not just something you've thought up that you *think* she should enjoy. Have you ever experimented with different ways to please her? Do you know what she would find most enjoyable?
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It *really* depends on what the fetish is, like you're being very vague, which suggests it might be a bit extreme, and that's the leap people are going to make because you haven't provided enough detail to make a judgement on the situation
|
It's difficult to judge your situation based on these few details, but a while ago I shared with my SO some kinks I've discovered I liked. We were not exactly vanilla before, but not outright kinky either. Anyway, my partner kind of freaked, because they only had a vague idea of what bdsm really entails, they felt insecure that I needed more than they (thought) they could give me, and felt a lot of pressure to perform. We discussed it more after that, where I showed he already liked some elements of those kinks, I just happened to put a name on them, and dispelled the misconceptions they had. With time and good communication, they moved on from that place of fear, and we're exploring together now 😊
So you can engage in a/multiple discussion/s with them, where you make it clear that you're not trying to pressure them, but just understand where they're coming from. Why do they reject it? Maybe they've watched/read something about it they didn't like. If your SO is being judgemental and mean to you, you might check if this is the attitude they bring to other things that matter to you, and whether that's something you can live with.
|
Do you touch your partner in ways that are low sexual/highly intimate?
|
sexover30
|
111nnxr
| 168 | null | true | true | 0.97 | true |
I honestly always touch my husband. Shoulder, his ass, my favorite is (when the kids aren’t looking) to kiss him and gently caress his package. We do this all day whenever we are in proximity. We’ve been together 14 years and married almost 10.
I absolutely love just being able to reach out and touch him, sexually or intimately. He does the same to me.
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We NEED non-sexual touch! Even in our sexual areas. I casually caress my breasts or rest my hands on my pussy a lot of the time. I find those things very comforting. It’s totally normal and doesn’t have to lead to arousal. You’re not a sexual deviant at all! Our partners need that kind of touch too. My husband and I like cupping each other’s genitals, not with the intention of arousal but just to show love and affection. We hug, cuddle, massage each other, drape our legs across each other if we’re sitting on the couch. We feel this is totally healthy.
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Non-sexual physical affection without sexual expectations is normal and important.
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Yes often. Lightly touching with fingertips, as you describe hands on each others genitals but not stroking or working towards arousal.
That said such actions can lead to more but many times it’s gone on for an hour or more especially when watching television or videos.
|
Aight follow up question after seeing these awesome validating replies: Am I the weirdo for not liking this? I love sensual and non-sexual touch but NOT anywhere near my genitals.
|
Looking for a resource to discuss sexual interests with partner?
|
sexover30
|
106wl0n
| 95 |
Question
| true | true | 0.95 | true |
My wife and I have been using the spicer app for this, though it does get repetitive as you go on (especially for free versions).
Weve also just talked about things during post-sex care. We talk while our hormones calm and discuss what worked, what didn't, and things to either Amo up or tone down for next time. Discovered some fun things we added to spice up what was routine.
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Mojo upgrade is one. Goes from the gentle to the more kinky side and you can both do it.
|
My friend recently told me about the BDSM test, simple, very fun to discuss: https://bdsmtest.org/select-mode
|
Check out humansexmap.com it has a LOT of stuff and has different option pins you can use to mark if you’re interested, not interested at all or even if it’s purely just a fantasy etc.
|
I second the BDSMtest.org quiz that someone else mentioned, especially if you’re looking for labels that name your favorite kinks/fetishes. [Carnalcalibration.com](https://Carnalcalibration.com) is an example of one of the fun questionnaires that you mentioned in your post that I like and have used. You get to choose several settings like only showing the answers that you and your partner matched on, which categories of kink that you want reflected in your questions, and the way you want to take the quiz (i.e. you and your partner take it one after the other on the same device vs. emailing or creating a link to send to your partner if you want to take it separately). r/BDSMadvice also has some useful posts, especially ones that address the importance of open and honest communication and suggest different ways of implementing it into your relationship.
|
How to bring up the topic of sex with a partner who doesn’t want to talk about it?
|
sexover30
|
1032716
| 175 | null | true | true | 0.97 | true |
My husband is like this. We've been working on it for years.
The biggest improvement came after we watched how to build a sex room on Netflix.
It gave him a glimpse at others who have a hard time talking about sex, and showed him an alternative the way porn shows "kink" - I mean think about it. If you watch a video of pros doing it, they cut out all the boring prep parts and make it look like they go from 0 to 100. Being able to see someone go from 0 to 5 on the show and then be like, "Uh...that's too much. Let's dial back to a 3" has given him more confidence to voice his desires and not feel like they need to be Olympic level.
|
My wife doesn’t like to talk about it either, so I just take what I’ve learned, try it and see how she responds. Of course this has its limits, but I’ve made lots of progress this way.
|
Encouraging someone to talk about ANYTHING that makes them uncomfortable can be a challenge. Typically there is a reason people don't want to discuss certain subjects. Have you considered something like, "My perception is that sex could be more enjoyable for you and that you are doing it more for my benefit than for your own pleasure. I'd like to know if this is true, and if it is, discuss what could make it better for you. Would you be willing to set aside some time to have this discussion?" Something like this expresses directly what you are concerned about without trying to just randomly get her to talk about sex. And by suggesting setting aside some time in the future to talk about it, it gives her the space to think about the discussion before you have it and ensure she is not emotionally or mentally tapped in advance. This might work.
Also you might find there are factors to her unwillingness to discuss sex that you hadn't considered. You also may find out she's really closed down and shut off around the subject. In which case the best you can do is express that it is important to you, why it's important to you, and hope she will meet you in the middle. You also should think about how important this is to you. Is this something you would suggest couples counseling to resolve? Or is it a minor annoyance? There is potential here for some baggage to come out around sex or your relationship. If she decides to discuss it, be prepared for that and willing to listen and hear her. Good luck!
|
My wife is very similar and I was getting very frustrated as we were on the verge of a dead bedroom situation. She's still uncomfortable talking about it face to face but we've had some success using a Google Doc that we can both edit.
I started it off with a letter laying out how I felt and trying to stress that this wasn't an accusation of wrong doing but an attempt to gain more understanding of each other and find a way to communicate on the subject. It's been a tricky thing to navigate, particularly getting the tone right and but just steaming ahead with laying out everything I would like to try or change. I have to remember that the goal is communication, not just sexual satisfaction and hopefully we'll become closer and more intimate as a result without either person feeling like they're being pressured into it or generally unhappy with the situation.
As a starting point, we've established that my wife does enjoy sex with me and that's a weight off my mind. We're now moving to establish our understanding of how much intimacy we want, what makes us desire it and what puts us off, as well as thinking about how to communicate better with each other about it. It's a slow and long process with weeks between updates on the document but we've been together for 20 years and I'm happy to take time to find a way forward for both of us.
Lastly, don't just drop a big letter on your wife. Ask her if this approach would help and explain why you think it might work. For us, it gives us time to consider our words and think about what we really want to say without being flippant and causing an argument inadvertently. It's clearly more important to me and I worry about getting too emotional if we discuss it in person.
|
Take sex out of the equation here. This comes down to "how can I have a conversation about something I find important with someone who refuses to have it with me?"
Replace "sex" with "parenting" or "our finances" or "whether we want to get married" or...you get the idea.
Some things in a relationship simply can't be left to silence (though plenty of couples avoid conversations about sex, as well evidenced by our sub).
I don't have some magic advice for you here but I just want to impart that your desire to talk about this stuff isn't "wrong" and while there's a chance that maybe your *approach* isn't ideal, we're not in your house to observe this stuff though I will say: the Xmas gift thing was a bad idea. I wasn't there but it feels a bit passive aggressive even if it was meant to be cheeky.
I'd suggest approaching this more from a relationship point of view in the same way I was saying earlier: treat this as a topic that's vital to the health/direction of your marriage. Don't be cheeky about it. Make sure she understands that this is important to you in a way that's important to the health of your marriage.
|
Stress relief sex?
|
sexover30
|
1001tet
| 101 |
Seeking Advice
| true | true | 0.85 | true |
Aaaaaand we're good here.
|
This topic is covered in the book “Come As You Are.” It is very common for people under stress to be less interested in sex as result, but some people do experience increased sexual desire under stress. Regardless, enthusiastic mutual consent is key to a satisfying sex life. Expressing upset when that is absent can be counterproductive.
|
No you're not necessarily wrong, I'm a 35f and and I also use sex to cope with stress and anxiety and to help me sleep. There are plenty of valid reasons to have sex. Everyone is different, and I don't think using sex as a stress release is bad unless it becomes some sort of addiction or if it causes problems with your relationships. My bf has a lower sex drive, and he also can't get into the mood if he's stressed so he often turns me down when I'm in the mood and he isn't. This has caused a lot of issues and arguments in all my relationships before. What I do is that I try to masturbate almost daily when I'm alone. My boyfriend suggested an open relationship so I sometimes sext with others and I sometimes hook up with others too. And it works for us since I can have more sex and excitement and there's less pressure on him to be the only one fulfilling my needs. And we still have sex regulary too, at least once every week
Your wife is also right, because sex can also be about intimacy and for her that's what's most important. So I think it would be wise if you could find a way to take care of your own sexual needs regulary so there's no pressure on her. I also think you should look into other ways to cope with stress, such as exercising or mindfulness.
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I was once in a position like that. it’s great to get stress relief from sex. But it’s not a reason to pressure her into sex if she’s really not feeling it. Ultimately if she’s giving you obligatory sex it’s going to diminish the enjoyment and attraction level over time.
Assuming you have a healthy sexual relationship, it’s important to develop other outlets so that you are not dependent on her for reliving your stress. This is a sign of codependency and is not healthy for you in the long term. See this is an opportunity for growth to explore other ways to get that release.
A few of the things I have cultivated to bring that kind of release are basketball/weightlifting, playing guitar, walks in nature, playing/cuddling with my dog.
In doing this you will likely grow your attraction for her are able to fulfill your own needs and become less needy.
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I have a genuine and ignorant question: If an orgasm is great stress relief for someone, but the partner wasn't into that, wouldn't masturbation suffice?
Or do people who experience heightened sexual appetite during stressful episodes get something out of the closeness/intimacy of it?
Seems like if an orgasm was the thing that brings the stress down, rubbing one out would be fine.
|
I’m getting divorced after infidelity. 38M, married 18 years, only one partner (my wife) …now what?
|
sexover30
|
zzjgaa
| 273 |
Seeking Advice
| true | true | 0.97 | true |
First of all, take a deep breath. Yes, you're going through a change or new chapter. Find that part of you that is not defined by having a partner and linger there. Conventional wisdom here will tell you- focus on yourself and who you are and what you enjoy outside of a relationship. Adjust to the change and work on yourself.
|
Go to therapy and eat some ass. Just not at the same time
|
I would recommend you get an STD test now since your wife was cheating on you, if you already haven’t.
|
I’m so sorry about your marriage! I hope you have a good support system of friends and family to help you through this. If there are people you’ve drifted out of touch with, now may be a good time to reach out to them to reconnect just to build your support system out a bit more.
My advice is mostly about starting to have casual sex in your 30s after a long period of monogamy, so relevance depends how much/what kind of dating you choose to do.
STIs: it would be smart to get tested now, given your wife’s infidelity. If you enter a phase with multiple casual partners, every 3-6 months is good hygiene (more partners = more frequency). You may also consider getting vaccinated against HPV. Nothing sexier than a man who plays safe! You can also address these things with your regular doc (as well as a vasectomy if you are sure you dont want any more children).
Ass eating isn’t necessarily expected, but it is common and some people enjoy it more than others. The best thing to do is ask your partner if it’s something they enjoy. On the topic of asking, you may be accustomed to implicit consent from your partner, however the culture has shifted to where best practice is to ask for explicit consent before kissing/touching genitals, etc. it may feel awkward at first but it is better to come off a bit formal and ensure your partner is enthusiastic about what steps you’re taking than to try to guess based on body language or vibe. This is particularly true if you’re hooking up with people younger than you, and especially for first encounters. If you’re asking more than you need to, your partner will let you know.
Some women may insist on splitting a check or alternating who pays, but most won’t refuse if you offer to pay the first time. It feels nice to be treated. Holding the door is a nice gesture, though not necessary.
It would probably be best not to get into a serious relationship while the wounds from your marriage are still so fresh, but it’s perfectly fine (and even common after a breakup like this) to date/hook up casually. Just be upfront with your partners if you aren’t looking for something serious.
Best of luck to you! -🐰
|
I was in your shoes at 40. I had three kids and the only woman that I had ever been in any kind of relationship with was now happily cheating and wanted nothing to do with saving the marriage. In a way I was relieved because there hadn't really been any intimacy in 10 years (just sex to make babies) and I was miserable. I never wanted to stop trying to work on our marriage until she cheated. That was my line in the sand.
Anyway, here I am, 40 years old, kids in tow and I'm thinking I'm going to be alone for a long time because who in their right mind wants to get involved with that? It didn't take too long for me to discover that LOTS of women wanted that. It turns out that a lot of men are awful so if you are a kind person who is respectful, can support himself financially, takes care of himself, and are even just slightly attractive, the women will come to you. I'm telling you right now that you are not going to believe how much different things are for you then they were when you were 20.
Now is the time that you get to be who you want to be. While I was going through the divorce process, I met the woman who would become my second wife. We actually got engaged on the day the judge signed the divorce decree. We've been married for almost 17 years now and I've never been happier. I'm living a life that I didn't think was possible when I was with my ex.
I'm not saying that you should do what I did, I'm just saying that this is your chance to have the life you always wanted. Your soon to be ex-wife has given you a wonderful gift but you just haven't seen it yet. If I was a betting man, I would bet my house that you are going to be more than just fine. You are finally going to be able to live the life you want, the way you want, and with who you want. It doesn't feel like it at the moment, I know, but things are about to get really good.
|
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