title
stringlengths 1
297
| subreddit
stringclasses 18
values | post_id
stringlengths 6
7
| score
int64 0
603
| link_flair_text
stringclasses 27
values | is_self
bool 1
class | over_18
bool 2
classes | upvote_ratio
float64 0.11
1
| is_question
bool 2
classes | C1
stringlengths 2
6.91k
⌀ | C2
stringlengths 2
5.89k
⌀ | C3
stringlengths 2
6.07k
⌀ | C4
stringlengths 2
4.69k
⌀ | C5
stringlengths 2
5.59k
⌀ |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
What is sexting coercion?
|
sexeducation
|
iwyf3b
| 18 | null | true | false | 1 | true |
It's not just threats and manipulations, sometimes it's just the person begging and begging despite you saying No. I've experienced sexual coercion and it's usually a cycle. At first it's using gifts, promises and so on. If that doesn't work it's physical force. If it's not that then it's emotionally manipulations. After the emotional manipulations then it's the begging. Then you give in. After I have given in, especially in sexting I would feel emotionally drained, or be numb.
|
You asked this last week too. If you have to ask, it means you’re probably uncomfortable with it, which means you don’t want to do it, which means you don’t have to do it, no matter what anyone else says. Is everything ok?
| null | null | null |
What counts as incest?
|
sexeducation
|
pzpu1b
| 16 | null | true | false | 0.9 | true |
If it wasn't sexual, it's not incestuous. I think you don't need to be concerned since you were simply worried for his health.
I do think there's a thing in ethics where you're not supposed to have family members or friends as patients, which I'm sure you will learn during your studies, but tbh I think there's no harm done in this particular instance. Just FYI.
|
Both my parents are MDs, and my father has checked my testicles when I had lumps there, nothing bad though just weird growth during teens. They are professionals just as you are
|
Or course it wasn't incestuous. You have medical training, family help each other out when medical problems arise, everyone consented, and nothing sexual was involved. Stop stressing about this it was completely normal.
|
If there was no sexual intent, it was not incestuous. You're fine.
|
I am studying to be in a medical field by the way, that's why he asked my opinion.
|
Can I be pregnant?
|
sexeducation
|
mtdnqf
| 16 | null | true | false | 0.94 | true |
It sounds like you were extra careful, if you are worried you can always purchase a pregnancy test. It may not be super effective to take the test the day after because there isn't enough hormone. Wait a few weeks and take a test. No harm in double checking. Good luck!
|
Pull out is not a safe way since som sperm cums befor the main shoot. But if you used a condom you have a 99% if used right of not getting pregnant.
So i hope it gave an answar you can use.
|
It doesn't sound like you have anything to worry about. You were very careful. No one on the internet can tell you if you can be pregnant or not. If you're really worried, take a pregnancy test, but wait several weeks first.
| null | null |
How to avoid yeast infections from oral
|
sexeducation
|
kw12bh
| 17 | null | true | false | 1 | true |
For her: probiotics. Non-sweethend yoghurts, or in pill form.
For you: being very careful with eating sweet stuff before. Yeast loveeeeessss sugar, so anything like that can throw it of.
There also might be other reasons. If her biome is usually already quite unstable, because of for example antibiotics or stress or eating lots of sweet stuff or illness, your mouth bacteria could be the one thing that destabilizes it completely. So she might want to look up how to stabilize her vaginal bacteria
|
Have you tried using dental dams? At least as a short term solution while working on longer ones
|
I don’t have any suggestions for you, but mad props to you for acknowledging that just because it’s never been an issue with other partners before... doesn’t mean it can’t be a normal thing for this partner! All women are different, and we appreciate men who don’t compare us to other partners when it comes to all things sexual.
|
I’m super sensitive, and I get infections if anyone gives me oral that is sick, has just eaten or drank, smoked a cigarette, literally anything other than brush your teeth AND rinse with water. Some people are super sensitive.
Some other things that can help: as always, pee after sex, because even if a UTI is not the problem, the vagina is set up to clean itself through urination as well as bodily secretions. So peeing helps that move.
When I’m particularly irritated I will use apple cider vinegar (the kind that says “with mother” it has chunks in the bottom - straight probiotics). If you can get it down or water it down enough to drink, it’s good for your gut which can help recover from... most sickness really. But I will also dilute it in a bottle, like a ketchup bottle, like a small centimeter at the bottom of vinegar (maybe 1/10 or so). Dilute with water. You can use this to wash vulva, or outside of the vagina, before or after sex. The acidity and good bacteria in the apple cider vinegar has done a lot of healing for me and my vagina.
|
It's possible that you two are passing a yeast infection back and forth. Although yeast infections can come about spontaneously, they can also can be transmitted through oral, vaginal, and anal sex, and can be transmitted to any of these regions via contact. It's not technically an STI, but sex can be one mode of transmission. It's possible you have mild oral thrush and your girlfriend is just particularly prone to yeast infections.
If your partner is persistently getting yeast infections, you might want to talk to your doctor about getting treated for a possible yeast infection as a precautionary measure. Since your partner seems particularly prone to yeast infections, she might want to talk to her doctor about possible causes, including health conditions like T2 diabetes, and about getting a prescription for an oral anti-fungal like fluconazole.
|
Does getting aroused feel like...
|
sexeducation
|
j67el4
| 16 | null | true | false | 0.91 | true |
Omg yes, I never thought about it like that before but you're right, it kinda does!
| null | null | null | null |
Is it okay to have really bad kinks?
|
sexeducation
|
i8oftq
| 17 | null | true | false | 1 | true |
There's a phrase we like to use in the BDSM community. Safe, Sane, Consensual. As long as you and every person involved is being safe, in the right state of mind, and consenting; you're usually good.
A rape kink is usually called Consensual Non-Consent in bdsm, so that could be something to look into if you're curious.
|
The kink in itself is not bad, just really think about who you could harm if you're not mindful enough- consuming actual videos of raping could be benefiting rapists who make money off of it. And of course, remember where the line is drawn when it comes to satisfying yourself when with another person.
|
If you have netflix I highly recommend you “explained, sex” the first episode iirc, the one about kinks. That show is so good.
| null | null |
Should I change how I masturbate
|
sexeducation
|
ga4r6u
| 17 | null | true | false | 0.92 | true |
There is no one true way. What works for you, works for you.
That story about something (other than being super excited) causing premature ejaculation is a myth.
Have fun!
|
Just don't get too rough and you'll be alright.
|
The entire idea of masturbation is to stimulate yourself in ways that feel good to you. Personally I would suggest diversifying and having a variety of things/methods that feel good to you. Some people have said that they struggle to enjoy sex after only getting pleasure from 1 method for many years. It can kinda teach the body to only be responsive to that one thing, is the idea behind it. And sex is supposed to be exciting. Having multiple things that you're into can help keep it exciting and varied.
|
It may become a problem if you aren't hard when you cum. (this does happen, someone who keeps masturbating without becoming hard). If not, keep on doing what you're doing. :)
And if it does become a problem with penetrative sex or oral sex, you can always learn to switch it up. That's what so great about our bodies, they can adapt to most things! And being able to cum in multiple ways is never a bad thing. And you can share this experience with a partner!
| null |
Question about condoms
|
sexeducation
|
mr13pr
| 15 | null | true | false | 0.94 | true |
Please buy new condoms/take new ones out of an appropriate packaged/stored supply at home. Just choose the shortest possible time span before you intend to use it. You won't regret - also you don't need to perform weird and unsafe maneuvers before using it.
As long as you store them properly, they guarantee for them as they test each and every one electronically before packaging.
|
No. This is going to weaken the condom and make it more likely to break while using it. Properly stored condoms that aren't expired and are used correctly are very safe. Just use them as intended to get the best possible use out of them.
The condom you currently have, however, is likely unsafe. Condoms shouldn't be stored in your wallet, your car glove compartment, or anywhere they can be subjected to friction or extreme changes in temperature. Just throw it out (or use it to practice the correct way to put on a condom) and buy new condoms, and then store them inside at room temperature. Storage instructions are generally written on the condom box, as are instructions on how to use them.
Sex isn't like finding a penny in the street. It's not going to surprise you completely out of the blue and you don't need to be prepared at every second just in case some unexpected sex falls into your lap. The best way to be safe is to apply some common sense, not go to extreme and unnecessary measures.
|
Don't keep them in your wallet, that is basically guaranteed to put holes in them. If you just like to keep them around put a few in your glove box and replace them after a month or two(because of temperatures) if they don't get used(sorry I don't know how often you get it on) or keep some in a drawer at your home and replace them if they expire(drawer will last longer because of a more controlled temp. Or just buy some as soon as possible before using them.
|
You can always do the pillow test when the condom is unopened to make sure there aren’t holes in it. Squeeze the package and make sure it has air and isn’t deflated.
I would definitely find a different storage place for them, that isn’t in a place with big temperature fluctuations, and isn’t always putting pressure on them. Maybe a small tin box, or something like that. Use lube with your condoms, it makes them less likely to break. Put a drop or two on the inside before it goes on, and then also on the outside. Less frictions means it’s less likely to break, and it feels better.
| null |
Advice on How To Ask a Partner to get STD Tested?
|
sexeducation
|
kd8bhk
| 14 | null | true | false | 0.95 | true |
The best way to bring it up is to not make a big deal of it and just bring it up. Getting STI tested is just a normal part of having a healthy sex life. Bring it up like you would bring up an other conversation about your health. "Hey, I think you're pretty hot and I really want to sleep with you. Before then, we both need to get STI tested. I was planning on making an appointment tomorrow, and I'll show you my results from my doctor when they come in. How about you?"
If they get offended, refuse to get tested, or pull any of that "I'm clean, don't you trust me?" stuff, take it as a sign that they’re not the dude for you. Someone worth having a relationship with is someone who values your honesty and wants to make sure they're keeping you both safe and healthy.
|
Go together! Make it a date!
Nothing says sexy like “hey, let’s go get tested together, I wanna know how freaky we can get”
Also, makes it sound non-accusative. You’re both going.
|
Unless you ask, default STI panels don't include either HSV. 1 and 2 weren't even differentiated until the '60s. HSV-1 is becoming less common, down to only about 48% \[[https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/products/databriefs/db304.htm](https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/products/databriefs/db304.htm)\]. Mind you, that's still basically half (and more common among minorities).
Even the "bad" one is a lot of stigma for a minor skin disorder other countries consider about as important as a cold. But it started getting a bad rep here in the '70s. Antiviral research was on the rise. Burroughs Wellcome created Zovirax, but it only worked well for a couple of things, one of them being HSV. So their marketing machine taught things like, "good herpes vs bad herpes."
For all intents and purposes, they're the same thing. The difference is where they prefer to show up, although both versions can present in either location (just less often).
Unless you specifically had it included before hand, there's rarely a guarantee of where HSV-1 comes from, given its commonness and transmissibility. And the vast majority of times when someone asks their doctor for an STI test, neither HSV will be included. It's not considered medically important enough. And it's hard to differentiate between the two without doing a culture from an active sore, so there's that, too.
As for how to suggest testing, it can be as simple as, "hey, it's always good information to track."
Also, STI (infection) has become the preferred term over STD (disease). It's also helpful to avoid "clean" in reference to test results. It just feeds into the stigma implying that the opposite test result equals "dirty." Negative or clear results both treat that better.
It all gets easier to talk about the more often you do. It used to be awkward to ask if using a condom was okay. It's closer to a given now. Having those conversations is a good practice to have and maintain.
I still have the same in-depth conversation with everyone I might get sexual with. It's taken as long as half an hour. Anyone not willing to have that kind of discussion is someone I won't have sex with. It's not even just about the STI angle at that point. It's about integrity and demonstrating accountability and responsibility. Those are things I look for. Some people insist on seeing paper results. If I don't trust them to be honest about it our interactions stopped well before that point.
| null | null |
Is the pain normal?
|
sexeducation
|
i727g8
| 14 | null | true | false | 0.9 | true |
It can depend on your cycle (hormone flow) and any build up. There are glands all throughout and outside the vagina. If they are blocked (which is very common) or more full due to hormones this can cause pain. This could be why when you don’t touch yourself there’s pain because masturbation or massage can help the ducts open up and flow.
I always like to match up anatomy with where I feel pain. Maybe look at where ducts are in the body and where the pain is.
I find a lot of emotion comes through pain in sex areas, as that is how it is released for me. Just another thought.
Otherwise like with anything about the menstrual cycle, the food you eat, how much water, etc can all impact the pain you’ll feel.
| null | null | null | null |
Is frequent masturbating bad for size and stamina
|
sexeducation
|
had1nq
| 15 | null | true | false | 0.94 | true |
Not sure about stamina but your size isn't going to decrease by masturbating
|
Your penis isn't a bar of soap. Using it won't make it shrink (it won't make it grow, either). Genitals, male and female, are made out of elastic tissue designed to become engorged with blood. Sexual activity doesn't change the size or shape of them. Their shape and size vary very little over your life.
|
Is there no pill?
|
[deleted]
| null |
Bout To Have Sex As Uncircumcised Guy, Help?
|
sexeducation
|
keimi2
| 13 | null | true | false | 0.94 | true |
Big Oof I remember I had to pull it as a kid cause my mother said, that we'll have to cut off the skin otherwise.
It's not normal, it should pull itself back when erect, that's about all i can tell you, you should talk to a doctor for medical advise.
For now I'd advice to pull it back and then get errect.
|
Pull it back before putting the condom on. When it is on, move it forward and have the skin move with the thrusts. You are going to have to figure what works for you.
|
You're...not going to get much feeling if you leave the head in your foreskin. I've tried it...and the experience was unmemorable.
Practice putting condoms on when you're by yourself...before "going live!"
It sounds like your skin is fairly functional. How old are you? Continue to pull at it and stretch it. Once you become sexually active that will help it along also.
|
Check out “phimosis” if your foreskin is too tight. You don’t want it tearing on you.
|
https://goaskalice.columbia.edu/answered-questions/putting-condom-penis-foreskin
|
About masturbation
|
sexeducation
|
h9q9oi
| 12 | null | true | false | 0.89 | true |
You could very well be asexual but if you want to continue exploring something like a vibrator might help. I can have an orgasm only using my hands and watching porn but its one hell of a carpal tunnel enducing work-out.
Its also important to give yourself a lot of time to get turned on! It can take forever. Good luck! Ps most mainstream porn sucks try some out of the box stuff.
|
You don't have to say whether you are using meds, but some meds have this as a side effect.
|
Its definitely okay not to masturbate if you dont enjoy it, but if you do like what you do thats also okay. sometimes the climax isnt the only goal and it can still be enjoyable. Ive heard some ace people describe masturbation the same way- scratching an itch. Asexuality is also a spectrum, and its possible youre somewhere along it. also possible if you dont feel attracted to anything so far enough to really get horned up it makes sense if you cant orgasm because part of it is mentally getting aroused enough. If you do want to try I definitely recommend external masturbation of your clitoris, you can use a mirror if you want to see where it is as well. Most often people need clit stimulation over vaginal. also a bullet or wand vibrator/ air pulse toys could help!
|
Sometimes performance anxiety, even with ourselves, can really get in the way of reaching climax. As if thinking, “I know I’m not gonna come this time” or “why can’t I come” are major influences on what releases our inhibitions to, well, release.
For me, I never orgasmed with another person until I became incredibly comfortable with them, as comfortable as I am with myself. It was something I had to reach within my own mind once I was in the right environment. Meaning, I had to not only trust them completely, but be comfortable making whatever faces, sounds, and movements I would make without fear of them not being pretty or “porn worthy”.
Obviously, your situation is different. My advice would be to relax. Be somewhere you are comfortable being yourself & you know you are safe and no one will walk in on you. I would focus less on trying to reach an orgasm and more on what is feeling good to you in the moment. Focus on your clitoris, go slow & use lubrication if you need to. If it feels good, keep going. If it suddenly stops feeling good, don’t beat yourself up for stopping. Instead, think more about what was making you feel good & try again later.
Think of it as a process of exploration rather than trying to reach the goal of orgasm. When you take that pressure away, you open new doors for pleasure to walk through. & you might just find that an orgasm along the way.
Good luck!
|
I used to be just like you! And it worried me so much but honestly it’s totally normal for it take a long time to find what makes you orgasm. Some women don’t orgasm from masturbation at all. The thing that did it for me was the LeWand vibrator and I def recommend it if you can afford it. You might be on the ace spectrum but you also might just need some time to figure out what works for you. Just keep playing as long as it feels good.
|
Is it normal to loose interest in your partner like turning off a switch?
|
sexeducation
|
t1ezgv
| 14 | null | true | false | 1 | true |
this happens to me too, except i lose interest when things become serious. so, we aren’t dating, but i feel as though they are going to ask me out or go further in our relationship (which is typically just fwb/hanging out). i have no idea what it means. through multiple people, it’s the same thing over & over again. i’m trying to talk with my therapist about it, with no mentionable outcomes. i hope things get better for you. i really just have to say communication is key in this, and make sure you’re actively exploring yourself within your own headspace to find out a cause/solution. if this is how you want your relationships to be, don’t change. however, if you find yourself miserable, do everything you can for yourself to change that. don’t think about anyone else here. focus on you.
|
This usually happens to me when there is something off or wrong but I haven't addressed it with my partner. Once I talk about it with them and we resolve it, the attraction comes back pretty fast.
How are you feeling about your BF/the relationship? Is there anything in the back of your mind that you haven't brought up?
|
Absolutely. I’m in my late thirties and have dated a healthy amount, and it’s happened more times than I can count. It’s normal.
|
I experienced something similar so the guys that I allegedly said that I ‘liked’ were mostly due to peer pressure rather that attraction. I would get feel really disconnected whenever I am in a relationship of any sort friends, dating, family , etc.,.
I dated a few guys and I found out that I really didn’t feel anything in that relationship when we broke up I got over really quickly, it was more or less a shell relationship for me.
Then I began questioning my sexuality and tried dating a few girls but the end result was same it was again an empty relationship, but I did think we would have been better off as friends…..
I am still questioning what my sexuality is since I can’t find someone who I actually ‘love’ but then again what is ‘love’ in the first place?
|
Just haven't found the right person.
Yes, I have experienced the "switch" too! It was after being married for 23 years, and I noticed it going off as soon as it happened.
It never went back on, either.
Hang in there!
Don't be so hard on yourself. Trust yourself that if and when you are done, that's it. You are done!
No judgement.
Kind Regards,
properfckr
|
Is masturbating every day going to make me not feel pleasure anymore?
|
sexeducation
|
hz6hm6
| 12 | null | true | false | 0.94 | true |
You do not sound dumb. This is a safe space to ask questions.
No, that is not how orgasm and masturbation works. From my experience with a lot of things in life, the more you experience it, it’s just like walking down a path. You’ll uncover new things that arouse you and new adventures to take to learn more about yourself. The pleasure has reduced cause you are familiar with it. But you’ve got a long way to figure out new things to become familiar with. It’s a natural transition from unknown to novel to familiar.
So nothing is wrong. If anything you’ve reached a milestone, you are familiar with how to get yourself off, regularly. Many people do not get that far. Take note, celebrate, and keep exploring. Whatever comes next will bring more pleasure in whatever form it comes for you.
Good luck to you.
|
You're not dumb! Is ok you're wondering this things. And no. You won't loose your sensibility at all!
|
Hey there! Not a dumb question, a very good one 👍
Flicking the bean does not make it less sensitive in the long run, you're good. Even when you use super good toys, your own fingers will always remain a great source for pleasuring your clit.
I'm a 41 y/o female and after at least 4.380 times, mine's still in perfect working order 👌
Climaxing does make your pattern of arousal different. Right after a climax, some clitorises and most penises are hyper sensitive and they need a rest.
From that point, the 'yearning' builds up again, hour by hour. If you skip one or two days of climaxing, you can really treat yourself to an extra big one. It's like not eating chocolate for a whole week 😅
Have fun 😊
|
[deleted]
|
I think in my experience as a guy too much can effect some aspects. Physically anyway.
|
How young is too young to masturbate?
|
sexeducation
|
hgeivs
| 13 | null | true | false | 0.93 | true |
Toddlers masturbate, and that's normal. They don't do it out of sexual desire, obviously. They just found out that it makes them feel good, and then parents have to teach them that it's something they can do only in private. Google it if you don't believe me.
|
Well, when you start thinking about masturbation, you are probably old enough to do it.
|
It's just something that most people figure out naturally over the course of their life. Some people figure it out pretty young unless they're taught that it's wrong for some reason (misguided parents who were taught that it was sinful or unhealthy, for example). Most figure it out around the beginning of puberty. Other people don't figure it out until adulthood. As long as people are well informed and allowed to develop naturally at their own pace, and aren't being forced into sexual situations against their will or before they are capable of making healthy decisions for themselves, it's a perfectly normal activity at any age.
Masturbation is actually an important part of learning about your body and your sexuality. People also masturbate for reasons other than sex-like boredom, self-comfort, stress relief, or to help them fall asleep. It's important not to stigmatize it, because it's a perfectly normal part of the human experience.
|
You're never too young to masturbate. Just be careful when you're looking for resources online like chat rooms, porn, etc. Look for stuff that's age appropriate but most of all just listen to yourself - do what you feel comfortable with and don't push yourself to do anything you aren't. That said, do NOT feel ashamed if you're ready to start exploring sexual pleasure and doing so by yourself is the safest and easiest way to get to know what you like. It's perfectly normal. Like u/SilverKidia said even toddlers masturbate!
Also if you're using anything besides your hands, PLEASE make sure it's body safe! (I masturbated with pencils when I was younger NOT THE MOVE). I encourage you to look into a cheap vibrator and/or lube if you can get one safely.
| null |
How to make myself sterile or infertile?
|
sexeducation
|
e3ckg8
| 13 | null | true | false | 0.94 | true |
You can get a [vasectomy](https://familydoctor.org/vasectomy-what-to-expect/), it's a very simple and reasonably inexpensive outpatient surgery that involves cutting or blocking the two tubes (the vas deferens) that move sperm into the semen. Vasectomies can be but are not always reversible, so it's only for someone who is 100% certain that they don't want biological children. If you talk to your regular care doctor they can get you in touch with the appropriate doctor to do the surgery.
If a surgical option is not something you're interested in, the best way to ensure you don't get someone pregnant is to always use a condom and make sure you do your research into how to [safely use a condom](https://www.scarleteen.com/article/sexual_health/condom_basics_a_users_manual). Condoms also protect you from picking up and passing on many sexually transmitted infections. Also, your partner should use a highly reliable birth control method like hormonal birth control pills or an IUD. Using condoms plus hormonal birth control or an IUD gives you something 99.9% protection from pregnancy.
Before you have sex, you also need to have a very frank and honest discussion with your partner about what you would like to happen in the case of an accidental pregnancy, because even doubling up on birth control can fail in very very very rare circumstances. Even vasectomies can reverse themselves in very very rare occasions. It's important, even if pregnancy is very unlikely, to only have sex with people who share your view on what to do if a pregnancy happens despite all odds. If they don't agree, they're not the partner for you.
|
Vasectomy
|
Vasectomy
|
Vasectomy
| null |
How do people develop fetishes?
|
sexeducation
|
e18cjj
| 12 | null | true | false | 0.94 | true |
I don't think it's really development but rather finding out your fetish, like if you hear a story about being tied up and think to yourself I wanna try that. Then try it and you find out you like it, now you know you have a fetish
|
It's indeed like the other person said: you try something out and it seems like you like it, but you also condition yourself into liking it with orgasms as the reinforcer.
|
I feel they are developed through experience also how comfortable you are with your partner and yourself. I have an identical twin, who has lots of fetishes but I myself do not . She has always been more confident and open to trying new things, so in short the more comfortable you are with your partner the more chances you have to find a fetish through experience.
|
I have three main fetishes: nail polish/feminization, chastity/femdom, and feet/toes. I have always been attracted to nail polish, feminization, and feet my whole life. I got into chastity because I saw someone on Reddit in chastity and thought that looked fun. Femdom kinda developed from chastity
| null |
Question about stds
|
sexeducation
|
l5ytwf
| 11 | null | true | false | 0.93 | true |
So, I am going to ELIA5 and break it down super simple. No. Each std (or bacteria/virus in general) has different strains (we are seeing this with covid rn). So while it sounds ok, it isn't.
A deeper explanation has several more arguments against it:
1. You could be passing the disease back and forth (like when a family gets the flu and keeps getting sick for months)
2. You could end up passing back and forth different strains which results in different types of secondary infections and difficulties curing them both at the same time
3. The long term damage (from being infected or reinfecting constantly) is usually pretty terrible
However, this doesn't apply to hsv which only requires a break while there is an outbreak (I also advocate for antivirals and other stuff to protect each partner from viral shedding if there are people involved that don't have the hsv). Similarly, hiv can be treated the same if the strain is the same and antivirals and other preventative measures are in place.
If anyone else has something to add, please feel free. This is just to get OP started. I highly encourage research of your own to gain knowledge and keep yourself safe.
Edit: some grammar mistakes because I wrote this before I had my first cup of coffee.
Edit2: thank you for the award!
|
Each STI is different, so the question should be more in-depth.
For example, for chlamydia and gonorrhea, for example, you should stop having sex while you get treatment and then retest about a month after your treatment is done to ensure you are negative before you start having sex again.
If you don’t treat gonorrhea or chlamydia, there can be more significant consequences later.
Additionally, if you keep having sex during your treatment, the treatment might not be effective as you might just keep passing the infection to one another.
| null | null | null |
I have never been in any sexual or romantic relationship until recently. What STDs should get tested for?
|
sexeducation
|
ossnym
| 11 | null | true | false | 1 | true |
You don’t need to get tested for anything. Herpes is the only STI (although it’s actually not even technically an STI) commonly transmitted orally through kissing, sharing utensils, etc. HIV could *theoretically* be transmitted mouth-to-mouth if someone had an open wound in their mouth, but this would be an extremely rare case and isn’t something you should worry about.
Why do you think the throat infection was herpes? Herpes esophagitis is rare and typically occurs in people with weakened immune systems. The CDC recommends getting tested for herpes if and only if you have a genital outbreak. Typically an STI panel won’t even include a herpes test unless someone has genital symptoms. This is because ~50% of the population has a herpes virus, and for many of these people it will never cause a problem. Testing positive for herpes can’t tell you if you will ever have an outbreak, it can’t tell you if any cold sores you may have in your lifetime are caused by herpes, and it can’t tell you whether or not you can infect other people. Unless you’re having outbreaks, a positive herpes test means very little, so doctors don’t typically even test for it.
You have nothing to worry about as far as STIs are concerned until you become sexually active.
|
You shouldn't.
There are only two ways of contracting an STD. By sexual contact, or inheriting it from you mother (only in certain diseases). In that case your mother should have disclosed it to you. But it's rather rare.
So yeah, I wouldn't get tested.
Even if you had sexual contact, you can only contract it from someone that already had it, it doesn't appear out of nowhere. So if you're sure your first time is the other persons first time, there isn't a risk either.
| null | null | null |
How safe are condoms?
|
sexeducation
|
o610pr
| 12 | null | true | false | 1 | true |
Hey love, it's great that you're being careful, but Plan B can be pretty tough on your body and should never be used as a primary form of birth control. My advice would be to get on a daily pill. You can tell your parents you're using it to regulate your periods, or that you have PCOS or endometriosis. There are a ton of nonsexual reasons to take birth control.
Other than that, condoms alone are very very effective when used correctly. Like others suggested, look up tutorial videos on how to put them on. But my advice really would be to use birth control as a back up plan/extra protection.
Best of luck in your sex journey and PM me if you have any questions you arent comfortable asking here
|
Well, I’ve never had sex, so I can’t say for sure how safe condoms are, but if you are so scared of getting pregnant, you can start birth control. Depending on where you live and if you have insurance, you can take birth control without your parents knowledge.
Also, have the guy that you’re having sex with pay half of whatever plan b costs. He’s the one that could get you pregnant. The least he could do is pay half.
|
Hi Ppweewee69!
We've got the effectiveness rates of condoms right here: [https://www.scarleteen.com/birth\_control\_bingo\_condoms](https://www.scarleteen.com/birth_control_bingo_condoms)
Emergency contraception is really that, for an emergency, like if the condom breaks. If you want to know that you COULD access it though, are you able to speak to the person you're planning to have sex with, and see if they could buy it if it's needed?
Of course, there are all kinds of sexual things you can do together that don't come with a risk of pregnancy too!
|
Condoms are over 98% effective when used CORRECTLY. This means that once a condom is on, it stays on until he pulls out of your body and is done. The condom should not be expired, should be worn correctly, should be the right size, and should not rip during sex. As long as you use a condom, plan B should not be necessary. It is expensive, messes with your cycle (which tends to cause people even more pregnancy anxiety), and harsh on the body.
|
They are mainly safe, just have to watch a tutorial on how to put it properly to educate him on that beforehand, or tell him to do that so you can rest assured that it's good.
My cousin is a ob/gyn and she told me (I'm a male bdw) about the fact that birth control should only be used in a prescription and it does have side effect such as infertility if used wrong. You can try a pregnancy test after 2 weeks (idk, read the package) of you want to go the extra mile
|
I don't know if consent is a topic on this subreddit, but I'm giving it a try. Was it actually consensual and I'm overthinking?
|
sexeducation
|
m3f4mu
| 11 | null | true | false | 0.87 | true |
There's not enough information here to say for sure whether it was consensual or not. If he kept pushing, after you said no, it probably wasn't. If you didn't really want to, but kind of felt pressured when you were at his place and so close already, it probably wasn't.
Consent, as I like to think about it, isn't the absence of a "no". It's an enthusiastic "yes". That doesn't necessarily have to be verbal, it can also be guiding someone along, initiating, etc. If you felt like, at that moment, it was an enthusiastic "yes" from you, it probably was consensual.
If you wanna talk more about it, you can send me a dm if you like
|
Did you feel pressured, unsafe, or unheard and not want to have sex with this person during the day/situation during which you had sex?
If not, I'd say it might have not been your plan but it was probably consensual.
If who he is goes against a policy or code of yours in Theory but in practice you wanted to have sex with him, that's your decision.
The idea of coercion is that if you did not have the *option* or safety to say no without thinking it could cause a bad response, then you couldn't actually say no if you wanted to.
But in the moment if you wanted to say yes, then it was your decision as an adult (I hope) with agency and responsibility for their own choices.
| null | null | null |
Question related to masturbation
|
sexeducation
|
j90y7v
| 12 | null | true | false | 1 | true | null | null | null | null | null |
Is this normal? Never had a sex ed
|
sexeducation
|
bry86w
| 10 | null | true | false | 0.92 | true |
See a doctor. 1. the pain should not be so bad that it completely disrupts your life so if this is normal for you then that isn’t okay and 2. If it’s a change from your usual experience then the doctor will still want to know because any sudden change in the body could be a sign of something that needs to be checked out.
|
Definitely follow the advice to see a gynecologist, and try to manage the pain as much as you can in the meantime (if you're on your period). Ibuprofen, heating pads, chocolate, comfortable clothes, etc.
|
I get really bad cramps as well and I take three ibuprofen in the morning and three at night, my friends say I’m od-ing but whatever
|
You should probably go ask your doctor about this. I used to have extreme pains too, and my doctor put me on the pill, which actually has helped a lot. Not only is there less blood, but the cramps have been reduced a whole lot to the point where I hardly ever feel it anymore, and my periods don't last as long. The pill doesn't have this effect on everyone, but I'd say it's worth a shot.
|
You should talk to your OBGYN! I would have cramps that kept me on the floor in pain, so I understand and I am so sorry you are going through that. Luckily, there are some higher dosage pain medicine they may offer you but I would consider talking to your doctor about the pill. You are able to go pack to pack on pills safely, skipping your period all together if you want to, to eliminate the issue. Otherwise, although it is trial and error with BC, some of them may help with the Period side effects! Don’t think the worse and no need to stress! OBGYN are there to help with these issues and will address any conditions that may be impacting this. It could be a simple fix (I had vaginismus for years, and just switching to the mini pill helped way better than PF therapy and numbing cream!), and there is a huge support system out there for lady issues out there! Make sure to self advocate and I hope you feel better!
|
is shower sex good
|
sexeducation
|
rkznhw
| 10 | null | true | false | 0.92 | true |
No, they are cramped, someone is always cold, there isn't a good place to sit. Shower stall, you might as well have sex standing up. It's fine for a warm up act making sure you both are fresh but I don't like it.
|
I agree with the other commenter. It's made slightly better if you have a dual shower head and can aim them so you both get water. The position I've found that works best is from behind, so you'll be bent over with hands on the wall for support. But even in those conditions I'd rather have sex basically anywhere else even in a car haha
|
Water really does wash away your natural lube. Imagine the mechanics… as soon as your dude pulls out the water rinses all the natural slipperyness off his dick then it gets pushed back inside. It can start to hurt. Same reason sex in pools or hot tubs tends to not really work well. Silicone lube could help a lot if you are keen to try. But I’m like some of the other posters here. Showers are great for warming up or aftercare, but too cold and hard to pull off for sex. Plus, some positions with your head down lower feels like you’re getting waterboarded. But you never know… it might be your thing. It’s worth at least a try.
|
I get extremely faint in the shower after orgasm, so it's not great for me. Like, I have passed out in the shower after just playing around.
|
It's not what it's cracked up to be.
|
is it normal to bleed?
|
sexeducation
|
npztpl
| 9 | null | true | false | 0.85 | true |
If his nails were sharp (just cut or bitten) that can scrape the vaginal walls causing some blood. If it continues into the next day I would see your doctor
| null | null | null | null |
Is it normal to not get wet when aroused as a girl?
|
sexeducation
|
mq00x5
| 11 | null | true | false | 0.93 | true |
The amount of wetness of a vag depends on so many factors and so is different for every body. There is absolutely nothing “not normal” about having little to no wetness or having a whole lot.
Also, for people with pussies, it can take a lot of play to build up wetness - just being aroused does not necessarily produce wetness on its own.
Thankfully, we’ve got lube so you can customize your wetness to your desire!
|
Yes i belive it is. Som ladies glands does not make that much lube outside and more inside. Use lube will help. But if you fear somthing is wrong see a doc :)
|
It is! Lots of things can impact whether or not your get wet (medication, dehydration etc.) this is why lube is always going to be a necessity in my sex kit. It helps reduce friction, increases sensation and makes sex more pleasurable. I work in a sex shop and have for 10+ years, I promise you are normal and most people have the exact same thing happen to them. Just find a few lines you like, and add them into your foreplay and sex. Look for something that is glycerine and paraben free, so it is less likely to irritate or cause an imbalance in your pH. I looove Sutil and uberlube. Lots of great body safe lubes available at shops like selfservetoys, spectrum boutique, smitten kitten etc. best of luck!
|
It's totally normal. Everyone is different, and it can depend tremendously on all sorts of controllable and uncontrollable factors: your age, where you are in your menstrual cycle, your individual anatomy, how hydrated you are, what medications you're taking, etc.
It don't mean anything other than you just currently aren't a person that produces a lot of lubricant, but that's why personal lubricant exists! Never feel worried or ashamed to use the products out there that are designed to help you enjoy yourself to the maximum.
If anyone ever tries to make you feel bad for needing or using lube, take that as a major red flag that they care less about your enjoyment than they care about some ideal of sex completely disconnected from reality.
|
Totally normal. Everyone is different! You can even see differences in your own body at different times of the month/times of your life.
|
Why are condoms not always effective?
|
sexeducation
|
le7znt
| 11 | null | true | false | 1 | true |
They are absolutely weighing in the percentages of condoms breaking, slipping off, being used incorrectly, etc.
If a condom is used correctly, disposed of correctly, and doesn't break at any point, there's 0% chance of pregnancy as far as I'm aware.
|
The worst thing is that no one ever tells you HOW to carry a condom. I mean I am a guy at a club. How should i carry a condom to make it more difficult for it to wear out? I don't have a bag with me like most girls do. I only have a phone or a Wallet with me. Those questions...
| null | null | null |
did I masturbate too hard?
|
sexeducation
|
qkr30w
| 8 | null | true | false | 0.91 | true |
So there really are not any studies that link urinary incontinence and masturbation in AFAB individuals. Is it possible that you've developed a UTI? That can happen during masturbation and can cause dribbling. You'll want to see your doc and rule it out at least. You might also try some kegel exercises (they're not just for AFAB peeps, AMAB individuals have pelvic floor muscles too. Kegels are often recommended, regardless of gender, to help with urinary control). Meanwhile, pick up some cranberry pills at your local drug store, there is both anecdotal and researched evidence that cranberry pills can help reduce the incidence of UTIs and potentially help mitigate/treat them. If you're on HRT (you mention you're FTM) it is known that HRT can increase your risk for UTIs so it seems likely that this is your culprit. Your doc should be able to help with some antibiotics :)
| null | null | null | null |
Is it disrespectful to have sex in my mothers house?
|
sexeducation
|
p8vtc8
| 10 | null | true | false | 1 | true |
The people in your family sound very dysfunctional to me, you sound like the only reasonable and sane person. I'm happy that your first time was with someone you love and you are using birth control. Enjoy yourselves!
|
Well I believe you are on point with your Sex Ed though i am just not sure whats the minimum legal age to have a sexual relationship in your country.
About family issues, i think it is important for you to check on your family members every once in a while. They have asked you to reach out whenever in need out of love ( i am assuming this) but they haven’t stopped you from connecting. And its always good to keep tabs on your family. You never know when someone is at their lowest. Don’t assume they are fine.
|
[removed]
| null | null |
question about not using a condom
|
sexeducation
|
mt3gel
| 9 | null | true | false | 0.92 | true |
No, it's not possible. As long as you peed after your last ejaculation, there is no way that sperm could get into any precum you could have possibly made in that short period of time.
| null | null | null | null |
Is it ok to have Anal sex before Intercourse?
|
sexeducation
|
s5yn2v
| 7 | null | true | false | 0.9 | true |
I think it would be fine, but certainly look up how to have anal safely. Use lube, and don't put anything in a butt that could go all the way in without anything stopping it.
|
Why do you need to do it hard? You'll hurt her.
|
Sex educator here also! Anal sex should never be painful. Work around the hole first, wine and dine the bum hole! It’s best to approach anal play as slow as possible, so don’t go into a session expecting any form of penetration to happen. Focus on massage and communication for setting the pace. Also, there is no ‘normal’ order within sex, simply focus on your partners pleasure and see where that mutually takes you :) Silicone lube or oil based/pure oil is best for anal play as water based dries out quicker, silicone is suitable for latex condoms but oil based isn’t!
|
Lol, if you're ready for anal sex why not just have sex. It's all just being intimate?!
|
Hi! Sex educator here. I also recommend looking into the right lube/protection combo as well as starting slow and smaller to help her build up safely and enjoyably. Fingers or tapered toys are a good place to start before moving straight to an erect penis.
ETA: I have a blog post on anal sex for beginners: https://sexoutside.org/diary/exploring-anal-sex
|
How do I pleasure myself?
|
sexeducation
|
rrtrba
| 8 | null | true | true | 0.91 | true |
ik you said you didn’t masturbate due to not feeling anything, but it sounds like you especially feel things when ppl eat you out. maybe buy a rose toy ? it simulates the sensation of being eaten out (it literally sucks on your clit.) but you can always try out different sex toys, too. see what works for you ! and it’s okay if those don’t work out.
| null | null | null | null |
Why do I feel worthless
|
sexeducation
|
rj5trp
| 9 | null | true | false | 1 | true |
Hi. That's totally normal and perhaps you need to have a serious discussion with him about it. Do the two of you converse openly about sex?
|
Hi. You start your text by saying this is really selfish. Is not. Is not selfish wanting to be desired. This happens when we do everything thinking of the other person instead of ourselves. We will always give in because we feel exactly as you said worthless. What can you do to raise your esteem?
Embarrassment and being upset when being rejected in such an intimate and vulnerable moment is normal and you can stop it by having a honest conversation with yourself of what do you want, how do you want it, what can you do to make you feel super confident and strong. THEN SPEAK FROM THE HEART WITH YOUR PARTNER. if he doesn’t acknowledge it, it’s always better to be alone.
|
I wouldn't call it selfish. It's normal to want to feel desirable and to want your needs met. If he rejects having sex with you, he could just be tired or not in the mood. It's not that you've done anything wrong.
Also, if he ever offers sex and you don't feel like having sex, you can say no to him just like he has said no to you. There is no need for you to always give in, especially if you're only saying yes to make him happy.
|
You said he gets off all the time. Does he watch porn and/or jack off a lot? Could definitely be a problem
| null |
Terrified that my gf may be pregnant, am I overreacting?
|
sexeducation
|
pu8us7
| 8 | null | true | false | 0.83 | true |
As long as you used a condom every time and and have pulled out every time the chances are very slim that she’s pregnant. Wait a few more days and take another test. If your really nervous you can go to your college clinic / planned parenthood and get a test there.
|
Most likely not pregnant. She's irregular and being stressed on the matter only makes things worse.
Chill man, tell her that everything will be fine, be her rock.
|
i have the same situation.I used condom at first and the 2nd i removed it. its just that i tried to thrust inside her a few times but i didnt cum. but i said that she should take birth control because were overthinking things and now shes still dont have period thats why i came here.
|
I feel ya, been there. Pregnancy tests should show pregnancy after the first day of delay.
Does she eat and sleep well? Is she stressed? My gf had biggest delays and the most painful menstruation after sleepless/stressful weeks.
So calm down, make another test (idk how much they cost for you, but they're only 2-5$ where I live).
| null |
Does it feel better without using condom?
|
sexeducation
|
mvw6du
| 10 | null | true | false | 1 | true |
As a woman, I don’t really notice a difference physically but there’s a huge difference, mentally/emotionally. It’s very hard to relax while having sex without a condom because it means I’m less protected from the chance of pregnancy and from STIs. When I’m anxious, sex isn’t as fun for me or my partner. I would rather know I’m protected and be able to relax fully and really enjoy myself.
Condoms also make the post-sex clean up a lot easier. There’s less chance of a gross wet spot and you don’t spend the rest of the day feeling squishy and damp. Instead, it’s all contained in one little easy to dispose of condom.
|
Yeah it's better, but there has risk of STD, partner can get pregnant.
|
I hate condoms. With that being said I used them before me and my husband were together. My tubes are tied so pregnancy is not an issue. We has our first child 12 years ago she was planed. We were going to wait awhile to have another and since it took almost a year to get pregnant with the first we weren't being careful. We has been fighting and has sex once on 2 months. I got pregnant with our second child. They are 2 weeks from being exactly 2 years apart. He's now 10. Always use a condom!!!
|
To be honest is not a great deal , condom reduce intimacy and feeling for me, plus they smell bad BUT if you are having a one night stand or anything else then a long standing relationship is the great deal because you want hold an unwanted baby or a herpes ( if you are luck ) for the rest of your day.
Once you are in a long term relationship going in without is fine as long you have a plan for not having a baby or you like huge family
|
It varies by person. I use the religiously though. If you havent yet maybe look into very high quality thin condoms. That may give you a similar experience. Brands are constantly trying to one up eachother with the closest to raw feeling possible or even adding things to make it more interesting like textures ect. Tbh wouldnt want to have sex without one. Too stressful, too dangerous, less fun, ect.
|
Is there a chance my GF is pregnant?
|
sexeducation
|
hgj9xa
| 8 | null | true | false | 0.75 | true |
It's an even higher chance than others are saying because round 2 likely still had semen from round 1 so an even higher risk of pregnancy whether or not you pulled out effectively. That's like textbook how to get someone pregnant even though you're pulling out.
|
[deleted]
|
If you have unprotected sex, there is always that chance. Women can get pregnant by precum. While slim, its still possible.
|
When did you have sex? If it was during the past 72 hours I suggest you get the morning after pill. It is available without a prescription (you might have to ask the pharmacist for it) for anyone over 15 years old. Planned parenthood and other programs can help with the cost if you need it.
If you had sex before her period then she likely isn’t pregnant. She could take a test to ease your minds but she’s probably fine.
If the sex was after her period, she could be pregnant but it’s too soon to know. You’ll have to wait until her next period is due. If it’s late or she’s having symptoms of pregnancy, she should take a test ASAP so she has time to figure out all of her options. Some girls put off taking pregnancy tests because it’s very anxiety inducing so you might want to offer to be there for her or suggest she ask a friend to be there when she takes it. There’s no need to buy expensive tests, the cheap ones work just as well and that way you can take more than one.
A pregnancy test won’t be accurate until after her missed period. Waiting until then is the hard part but besides the morning after pill and being sure to use protection when you have sex again, it’s all you can do. Sorry it sucks but we’ve all been there. Let this be a lesson to always use protection unless you are trying to get pregnant.
|
UPDATE: She took a Plan B within 5 hours of sex. What are the chances of her being pregnant now?
|
Being germophobic ?
|
sexeducation
|
cvxw5j
| 9 | null | true | false | 0.91 | true |
[deleted]
|
That being said, it is important for you to know that vaginas are self-cleaning and it isn't healthy to actually shove soap up there to "clean". It's an excellent way to throw off the pH levels and develop health problems such as yeast infections. Showers are important for sure, but don't tell her to scrub out her vag. Also (idk how much sex ed you've had because adults really tend to drop the ball) but periods are a natural, monthly thing. Please try not to be grossed out, ESPECIALLY if she needs you to grab a pad/tampon for her further into your relationship. Chances are she'll be just as embarrassed if she's unprepared, and freaking out will only make things worse.
|
Hey man. What I would do in your situation, is think about how you would react if the roles were reversed. Like, if you go over to her place and she says, "go wash your dick before I blow you." that's probably not super sexy. But, if she said she wanted to take a shower together, that might be sexier. That way you guys can get clean together and not have to worry about it after.
Also, if you both are 16 you are probably not living on your own. Having sex while still in high school takes a little bit of planning. I assume you would shower before going over to her place, she would probably do the same before coming over to yours. If you like this girl and she seems clean otherwise, she probably is showering everyday already.
Finally, you never have to do anything you're not comfortable with. If you start to go down and you are feeling worried about it, just don't continue.
Vaginas are not "germy" and are a self cleaning organ. However, you should always use protection to keep you safe from STDs, STIs, and unplanned pregnancy.
|
[deleted]
|
Creative thought : just fuck in the shower
|
Best online resources to learn about my fetish causes?
|
sexeducation
|
rjo6i9
| 6 | null | true | true | 0.88 | true | null | null | null | null | null |
Am i pregnant or just over reacting ?
|
sexeducation
|
q5dzei
| 8 | null | true | false | 0.9 | true |
Unlikely. Being stressed over the issue could be the very reason you have not had your period in two months.
Get a pregnancy test, everything will be ok.
|
Enough time has passed for you to take a pregnancy test.
|
It's possible, you'll have to take a pregnancy test to be sure.
|
As someone said, stress could be the reason your periods have been funny, so it’s not a sure thing. That said it’s unlikely, but not impossible, and you should buy a pregnancy test. If you’re worried, is there somewhere with a self checkout? Or you can say you’re buying it for a friend if you’re really concerned about judgment.
|
Yes
|
Is it okay to have sex at 16 ?
|
sexeducation
|
p0mmra
| 7 | null | true | false | 1 | true |
I honestly wouldn’t recommend it, but it’s ultimately up to you. If you think you’re ready, and your partner is also ready, then go for it. Please be safe though. Use protection and make sure that you and your partner are comfortable with everything that happens.
|
It depends on many things. Who are you having sex with? Is it someone your age (or say, close to that age)? Are you both comfortable and firmly consenting to have sex? I’d say if you are both okay, consenting and have a horizontal relationship (there’s no coertion) then sure. Make sure to use protection (not only to prevent pregnancy, if it applies to your case, but also to prevent STI’s). Also, keep in mind that “sex” is very broad, not just penetration. So if you don’t feel comfortable doing that just yet, there are many other things to explore (which are also potentially safer as well). Please make sure to communicate how you feel to your partner (and to let them know that they should be communicative as well).
However, there’s no rush and even if your friends are having sex, you don’t have to do it. You have a lifetime ahead to do that. So if the reason you want to do it is bc your friends are, I’d advise against it.
|
That's up to you, but there's a couple lil things to consider.
1. Are *you* comfortable with the idea?
Some folks feel pressured to do things that they wouldn't normally be comfortable with, and it's perfectly ok to say that you're not comfortable with having sex.
​
2. Do you know how to keep yourself and your partner safe?
Sexual health and well-being is something that is worth looking at seriously. Keeping yourself from high-risk situations or understanding the risks you may be taking are important.
​
3. Do you understand the difference between yes and no?
Consent is a serious deal. Some folks get to feeling uncomfortable before, during, or after sex. Knowing that *if someone says no, no matter how into it you or they are, that means NO* is **super important.**
​
4. Do you know what you enjoy in an intimate situation?
Sex isn't going to be amazing and world-shaking every time, and you will have a better time with some exploration of what you do and don't like. It's difficult to expect someone else to make you feel good if you don't even know what makes you feel good.
​
Overall, it's your body. Your call. Make sure to be protected against unintentional pregnancies and the spread of sexually transmitted diseases, and learn that no means no - and that it's ok to check in and make sure it's still 'yes'. Take some time to learn your own body and what you like, and then be patient with learning what someone else likes. You'll feel far more rewarded in your sexual life because of this, and it'll only get better from there.
OH. If your potential partner is several years older or younger than you, probably talk to someone about it. Some folks will see this and are predatory. Might be best to ignore or report direct messages from people outside your common age group.
Good luck, have fun!
|
[https://www.reddit.com/r/sexeducation/comments/oygm8h/spotting/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/sexeducation/comments/oygm8h/spotting/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
Of course it is okay if you feel emotionally, physically ready. Do go though the post I have shared. It is a very real consequence of sex.
Hope you have a good first experience :)
|
I am 18, I've wanted to have sex since i was 13. Well that never happened so yeah. I think you should have sex, whenever you are actually ready. There isn't a wrong or right age to do it. It is entirely up to you. But if you feel pressured by your peers, who are sexually active, and for some reason you don't feel ready, my advice is to wait. If you actually want to have sex, please use protection and get informed about safe sex. Most importantly, ask for consent, please. Despite gender sexuality etc always ask for consent, so you know that what you want, is also your partners desire. Also its a yes or no question. Idont know means no i am not sure means no. Best of luck
|
Am I weird for not being circumcised?
|
sexeducation
|
okk14n
| 8 | null | true | false | 0.83 | true |
Not weird at all. Most of the world is like that but the US is just strange. I'm not and about an estimated 40% nationwide isn't. You just may be in a high area. No knife went down there so already a plus. This is several years away but just be playful with a partner and they wouldn't mind or it's something for them to investigate that the other guys don't have.
Its not any more or less clean. Pull it back and rinse with water for a few seconds in the shower everyday is the minimal amount of work.
|
[deleted]
|
Not being circumcised is definitely not weird. At you age everyone is uncomfortable with their body and since no one talks about sex or these topics they normalize the things they see in porn or media. Bodies are supposed to look different, do your best to not be affected these cultural ideas of “normal”. Laugh it off and confidence is the easiest way to shut down bullying or self doubt, even of you fake it at the beginning.
|
Sometimes I wish I wasn't circumcized.
|
It's not weird. My first 2 partners were uncircumcised and it really never occurred to me that it would be weird. Just make sure to keep your privates clean as having foreskin can make it easier for dirt and grime to collect.
|
Is there a correct way to masturbate?
|
sexeducation
|
l4hp90
| 7 | null | true | false | 0.82 | true |
Check out Phimosis, as it may be a condition that you need to address with your doctor. You should be able to retract your foreskin while erect.
Also, I would recommend adjusting the way you masturbate to simulate sexual intercourse. So that when you get a partner, you’ll easily be able to get off with them. Practice stroking up and down, without using a death grip, until that becomes the norm for you.
|
No, there is no correct way to masturbate, anything that feels good is correct. The only incorrect methods are death grip and using anything that will irritate your penis (rubbing it on rough surfaces; using soap as lube; etc). There is nothing wrong with the way you masturbate.
That said, the fact that you cannot retract your foreskin is potentially more problematic. I don't think this is urgent unless it's causing you pain now, but the next time you see your doctor, ask him or her about it.
|
If you can try other methods for masturbation, it is advisable to branch out. Otherwise you may not be able to enjoy sex without your specific method. A fetish is fine, but if that is the only way you can get satisfaction you will be very limited, and your future sex partners may be unhappy. Here is another couple of variations. i got the idea from www.jackinworld.
Take a whole eggplant and soften it in the microwave. Cut a round hole in the end opposite the stem and remove the skin around the hole. Once it cools enough to be safe, it feels more like a vagina than anything else. I haven't tried a Fleshlight, but I bet this is more like vagina and a whole lot cheaper. Lube is optional. Reusable if refrigerated. If you make the hole bigger, you can not only thrust "balls deep," but deeper! Try doing that with a vagina! Feels amazing. Alternate hands and eggplant flesh.
Mango skins work too. No lube needed. Spit optional. Find the biggest, ripest mango you can find, cut it in half and make a penis sandwich with the halves. Try different amount of mango flesh for variety. Eat some mango with cum sauce. A spoonful of mango makes the medicine go down, in a most delightful way!
You're welcome! Let me know how you like it.
| null | null |
question about male anal sex
|
sexeducation
|
f7spcr
| 8 | null | true | false | 0.91 | true |
Yes, sometimes even hands-free.
|
Not a required part but they totally can
|
So there's a ton of incorrect assumptions underlying your question that I want to address.
First of all, men can engage in anal stimulation without being gay or being with another man. So let's separate sexuality and type of sex from what you are asking, which seems to be "can men orgasm from anal stimulation?"
First, some women can orgasm from vaginal stimulation without direct clitoral. Some women can also orgasm from anal stimulation without either vaginal or clitoral, though it's even less common. This is because nerve endings that provide pleasure are in all these areas, and depending on how someone's body and mind are wired, can be enough.
The anus is nearly identical between all sexes, except for the existence of the prostate. Someone with a prostate (so anyone with a penis) may experience additional sexual stimulation from the prostate being touched/rubbed/stimulated. Anal penetration (by toy or body) can massage the prostate and stimulate the nerve endings around the anus and cause pleasure. For SOME this can get them to orgasm on it's own, and "hands free orgasm" is a goal some people have for anal sex or anal stimulation.
In the case of the hands free orgasm, they may or may not actually ejaculate, and for some people non-ejaculatory orgasm through anal while not touching the penis can be a way of being multi-orgasmic.
When it comes to partnered or solo anal sex though, some people just...also masturbate or also combine a handjob in, and that's how they reach orgasm and ejaculate.
​
Hopefully that clears some stuff up.
| null | null |
Is this a consent issue?
|
sexeducation
|
exad0p
| 8 | null | true | false | 0.9 | true |
That's absolutely a consent issue. No means no, not convince me. They are ignoring you saying no and manipulating your body into a state where you are turned on and feel obliged to have sex with them.
That isn't okay at all, enthusiastic consent or no sex. Don't let them keep doing this to you! Don't ever let anyone do this to you!
Either they respect your right to say no or you remove them from your life.
|
It's p much non consensual. I think you should talk to your partner, and have some ground rules. I can understand his pov of wanting sex, people usually expect that in a relationship. And it's okay to tease your partner for it. But if you're not fine with it, you should be able to end it.
|
This sounds pretty serious. :/ please dont let anyone take advantage of you.!!!
| null | null |
so condoms don't feel good. would it help if instead of masturbating all the time with my hand, that i did it with a fleshlight/condom ?
|
sexeducation
|
ek924b
| 7 | null | true | false | 1 | true |
Definitely practicing masturbating with a condom on and getting used to sensations other than your hand will be useful.
Another thing you can do is to put a small amount of lube inside the tip of the condom before you put it on.
Also experiment with various types, shapes, and materials of condoms. Not every condom is the same. Just because one doesn’t work for you doesn’t mean that all condoms are terrible. I’ve heard good reviews about condoms that are snug around the base but a bit looser around the head. They create more friction, which is supposed to provide more sensation. There are textured condoms, a wide range of sizes, and thicknesses. They also make non-latex condoms that are much thinner than latex and provide a different sensation.
|
Yeah, I know some people who have done this and it has worked
| null | null | null |
Possible Pregnancy/Should I be worried?
|
sexeducation
|
eiqnra
| 6 | null | true | false | 0.81 | true |
Just a note of reassurance: it is very unlikely you are pregnant.
How long ago did this happen? Plan B is most effective within 72 hours of the event, although in that window of time it becomes less effective the longer you wait. If it's been longer than 72 hours, Plan B isn't going to be particularly effective.
If you are still in the window, taking Plan B will probably ease your mind quite a bit. If not, just wait and see what happens when it's your usual time to get your period. It takes about 12 days after unprotected sex for a pregnancy to show up on a pregnancy test, but it sounds like you would be expecting your period around then anyway.
|
Sperm need fluid to travel so if you were exposed directly to or shared any fluids during the exchange, I'm going to say there's a very small possiblity of yes. You're so early on that you could pop for a Plan B/Ella and be fine without a pregnancy scare later.
If you didn't exchange fluids at any point after he finished you're in the clear.
|
[deleted]
|
I chose to delete my comment and kind of start over.
So this article points out that on the box, Plan B does say that it prevents ovulation, but may also prevent fertilization and implantation: https://www.liveaction.org/news/kanye-west-plan-b-abortion/
Healthline has some info about studies that have been done on this: https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sex/is-plan-b-abortion#how-plan-b-works
As a prolife person, I feel a lot of conflict about this topic. If life begins at fertilization, then something that prevents implantation doesn't sit right with me, since it would be a very early form of abortion, in my opinion. If this is of concern to you, I'd urge you to talk to your doctor, especially if you're concerned you may have been/may be ovulating. I'd also encourage talking to your doctor about any concerns over hormonal pills, as well as using protection in the future.
|
any updates?
|
Possible Pregnancy?
|
sexeducation
|
eg7tj3
| 7 | null | true | false | 0.89 | true |
Yes, it is possible she is pregnant if semen got into the vagina. If she took plan B, the chance is pretty low though. It also depends on where she was in her cycle, if she just got her period or was just about to get her period, the chance that she's pregnant is even lower. If you want to be sure, she can do a pregnancy test a bit after when she is supposed to get her period.
I would not worry too much; things like this happen, and that's what plan B is for. To be even more secure in the future, she can start using anticonception. But really, the chance is pretty low.
Sidenote: depending on you guy's sexual histories, it might be good to do an STD check. It's a good idea to do that when you've had, in essence, unprotected sex.
|
Like the previous poster said- where she’s at in her cycle will determine if Plan B is effective or not- If she hasn’t ovulated yet then plan B is very effective. An even more effective emergency contraception is getting the ParaGard IUD- if she is interested in having a long term birth control method as well, this would be another option you two can discuss.
| null | null | null |
Is there a right way to mastrubate?
|
sexeducation
|
eeu8an
| 6 | null | true | false | 0.81 | true |
A very complicated question, especially the way you have phased it. The movement of your foreskin will in part be influenced by your anatomy. Generally, (very generally) more flexibility or movement of the foreskin is a good thing. So as long as you are not causing damage move it as much as possible.
As too your greater question, no there is no right way to masturbate. There is an argument that prone masturbation is not great for long term sexual health. So perhaps avoid that.
I hope that helps a bit.
| null | null | null | null |
After masturbation pain?
|
sexeducation
|
doibiw
| 7 | null | true | false | 0.83 | true |
Having orgasms uses lots of muscles, especially in your stomach/abdominal regions. Afterwards, these muscles can feel sore because you're clenching them. It's not harmful. Muscles are made to be used and feeling sore just means they're getting stronger!
Orgasms can also sometimes cause contractions in your vagina and uterus, which can give you cramp-like feelings but they should go away pretty quickly on their own-like a few minutes or so.
If it's not a sore muscle feeling or a cramp feeling, or it's accompanied by weird discharge or a lot of blood, it lasts for a very long time, or it's unbearably painful, please talk to a medical professional about it.
|
If the pain you experience is a 5 or more on your pain scale talk to a Dr. Also if the pain isn't directly your uterus but near it Endometriosis isn't covered in most basic sex ed & lots of women develop endometriosis. Don't let a Dr dismiss your pain. Endo left untreated can cause so much scar tissue that it leads to infertility. If you catch it early enough you can start treatment & still have children normally.
Personally was diagnosed with Endo at 18. Symptoms started around 16. What made my Dr want to help me was pain during/after sex. I had to undergo an explorative surgery for them to be sure.
|
Could be that youe orgasms help your bowels move. Sometimes it can hurt when waste moves through you.
|
Is it possible you could be pregnant? I know this is weird but anytime I’ve been pregnant, and when I’ve had an orgasm... it creates like a muscle pressure cramp type pain... just a thought.
| null |
Does some woman prefer/like small penises? Or will they always prefer large.
|
sexeducation
|
9t3nv0
| 8 | null | true | false | 1 | true |
I think you have larger issues that you need to deal with other then your penis size. Confidence plays a huge role in attraction.
|
Hey there get this book
S.E.X., second edition: The... https://www.amazon.com/dp/0738218847?ref=yo_pop_ma_swf
It has a whole section on what you are dealing with there.
|
[deleted]
|
So I'm at the point where I don't need this anymore but hope this post serves people that went threw the same thing I did. 80% of my friend are female but the reason why I made this post originally because I wanted an non sugar coated answer from a stranger. What is different for me now is that I changed my confidence which allowed women to see me for my compassionate side. I've also learned is to not try and just be friends i stead of rushing. If you take your time, you give time to learn about each other and if she isn't the one well you have another friend but one of her friends might like you. The girl who I'm with now literally threw herself at me and I met her threw a friend. Basically it takes time but if you don't give up you will succeed. Rome wasn't built in a day and it took hard work so for those who ever read this and is going threw what I was, just don't give up and love yourself before you can love anyone else.
| null |
Why is a female doing one act of prostitution universally considered a far worse a girl than having multiple partners? Even if done only out of desperation to put feed on the table to feed family? Why do even atheist or secular societies with loose sexuality and very liberal morals frown upon it?
|
sexeducation
|
rqg3s4
| 5 | null | true | false | 0.73 | true |
Misogyny
|
I believe it’s mainly based around the assumption that if a woman wants to be a prostitute, then she is *choosing* to do anything to get money. While someone else who has multiple partners is choosing to do this because they don’t want a monetary reward out of it, but for whatever other reason. People are programed to think “oh then why don’t she work any other job to get money??” and then assume she is a dirty, filthy person because, to them, how many people is this person willing to sleep with for money?
It’s a mix of outdated, unjustified, and unfortunately, heavily repeated bias towards prostitutes being people with no moral conscious.
|
A sin that cannot be forgiven? Christ traveled with Mary Magdalene, who was a prostitute, who’s sins he forgave. She was the first to find that the had transformed after he was crucified and left in a cave. She was closer to him than his own Apostles. The entire point of her story is that prostitution is a sin that can be forgiven.
Modern religious people have a very skewed understanding of both the circumstances that lead to sex work and the stories of Christ. They’ll say and do anything to demonize a woman.
| null | null |
Is this Normal (Masturbation)?
|
sexeducation
|
rav4ha
| 7 | null | true | false | 0.89 | true |
Flaccid penis is unfortunately a relatively common issue for young men who start their sexual journey with internet pornography. Look into the book by Your Brain on Porn by Gary Wilson.
|
First of all, no, your post is not weird or stupid. This is exactly what this sub is for!
\> ...instead of doing the circle-type of motion around it....
What do you mean? I'm a woman, but I've watched and helped a lot of men masturbate, and I'm not familiar with anything that might be described as "a circle-type of motion." This makes it sound like you're wringing your penis and possibly causing too much friction. Please tell me I'm wrong. lol
How are you able to stroke your penis while it's flaccid?
I've been quite sexually active for 20+ years, and enjoy talking and reading about sex, and I've learned that it's possible under particular circumstances for penis-havers to enjoy orgasms and ejaculation (not the same thing, and don't always occur together) while flaccid. However, I don't *think* you're describing one of these circumstances. If you are unable to maintain an erection even when aroused, it sounds like you may be describing a form of erectile dysfunction which may warrant a doctor visit, since there are many possible causes. I mean, *are* you actually aroused during your masturbation sessions? Arousal and erection aren't the same thing. Arousal is very much a state of mind.
Are you unable to maintain erections with partners? Sometimes solo play just isn't "sexy" enough, and just doesn't get you in the mood. Can you get erect without touching your penis (e.g., by just thinking about something you find very hot)?
Are you guilty of using "death grip"? Do you use any kind of lubricant? Some people consider this a necessity.
Edit: Ohhhh. Wait. Okay, yes, it is completely normal for larger penises to lean to one side, or to lean onto your belly, when fully erect. They're heavy, and the tissues connecting them at the base aren't necessarily strong enough to hold them perfectly upright. But that doesn't mean they aren't erect. Erect just means being fully engorged with blood, and being stiffened. So you are getting erect, it just tends to fall over when you lie on your back?
| null | null | null |
Question about STDs
|
sexeducation
|
ehhwfa
| 6 | null | true | false | 1 | true |
Here's some [good information about herpes](https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/stds-hiv-safer-sex/herpes) that might be helpful.
|
If the type of herpes she has is strictly oral, you would not get oral herpes from going down on her vagina. There are some (rare) strains of herpes that are both, but she's not likely to have one of those, because they are rare (also, you'd see blisters on/around her vagina). Giving her oral sex therefore, is completely safe for you, as long as you dont come into contact with the sores on her mouth.
Also, when your girlfriend does not have any sores, she's not infectious; she cannot convey it to you when she doesnt have the sores. So, you could kiss her then, or she can go down on you when she doesnt have the sores.
| null | null | null |
About pregnancy
|
sexeducation
|
u4yuh0
| 6 | null | true | true | 0.87 | true |
Depends on where she is on her cycle, there are only a few day a woman can get pregnant. That said.. yes she could gey pregnant.. after you came theres still traces of sperm and semen in your urethra/ shaft or "pipeline" so going back in unprotected highly increases the chance of sperm entering her especially through pre ejaculatory fluid. Pulling out isn't a good option either. Use contraceptives and if your ever uncertain.. plan b
| null | null | null | null |
Have you ever cheated in your relationships? If yes, what was the reason?
|
RedditAfterDark
|
117td01
| 0 | null | true | true | 0.5 | true |
No. Have you?
|
The need for emotional validation was my reason. I had to learn that I cannot find happiness from my partner, I had to be happy on my own.
|
Yes. I kissed another man after giving him and my friend a ride home from the bar.
The reason is that I was a pussy with no consideration for his feelings. I knew I wasn't happy with him, but he'd always threaten to kill himself if I left and he'd yell abusive things at me. He'd groomed me when I was a teen and he was in his 20's so I wasn't sure how to get away. He always called women that cheated disgusting whores (and to his credit, he never once cheated on me), and how he'd never put up with a cheating slut, so I figured he'd discard me afterwards and I could be free.
Not true. He doubled down and ramped up the abuse. I eventually left anyways, and could've done it all along without sullying my name as a cheater.
|
Yes
Ironically, I cheated with and on the same person for almost the exact same reason...
I needed more physical/sexual intimacy than what I was getting in the relationship at the time.
|
Few times on a few girls. Pretty much always becuase of sex or not enough of.
|
Have you ever masturbated at work? Where do you work?
|
RedditAfterDark
|
116wyuo
| 5 | null | true | true | 0.86 | true |
I work from home soooo
|
I work in an emergency 3 and have have cum in the bathroom
|
Not masturbated but definitely have had sex at several jobs! Pretty much since my early 20's I've had sex at every job.
|
Kindergarten teacher and they don't let me any more...
|
Yes! On my office table
|
Would you cheat on your spouse if they wouldn’t find out ❤️
|
RedditAfterDark
|
116xvv1
| 5 | null | true | true | 0.62 | true |
Your conscious would know
|
Never. I've had the opportunity, but always said no.
|
No. I would not.
|
Fuck no. We’re both pretty “open” sexually and I’m all about about sex positivity; my SO is bi, we’ve had threesomes, have talked about hotwifing, etc. That being said, anyone that specifically seeks out a person in a relationship in an effort to help that person cheat on their spouse, should go to hell.
|
No
|
Is sex really that addicting?
|
RedditAfterDark
|
112rcqo
| 4 | null | true | true | 0.84 | true |
It can be! It gives you an adrenaline rush, releases endorphins there’s a whole science to it. Same reason why some people get addicted to porn
|
Before my first taste of big dick I would have said no but now…🤷♀️😂
|
So here's the thing, there are these Endorphins, Dopamine and serotonin which are also come under the class of "Happy Hormones".
There's a sense of satisfaction after sex or after having an orgasm. That's when these hit. Gives you a sense of peace and calm due to the brain thinking that it achieved a task. This same thing happens when you finally finish your last exam or get to know your results and know you passed with very high score or when you reached a goal that was set. A sense of accomplishment. Body rewards it with Happy Hormones. Sex and Masturbation... Well.... I wouldn't say it as addiction but more like you seek them for your body to self validate. The same could be achieved by learning new skill like a song on a musical instrument or exercise regime etc. That's why you see those gym freaks who love to go cause it's a high that they like.
If you feel like you're addicted to sex or masturbation just eat a dark chocolate 🍫 and go for a run or gym or calisthenics. A couple of days later you wouldn't be thinking about sex often unless you're really attracted to someone or your fetish.
|
Oh yea, it can definitely be addicting. After my first experience with oral and my disappointment with that (though I know why now), I did think sex might have been overhyped as well.
However, when I lost my virginity, it just felt so good that I immediately understood why so many people wanted it. I was wrong, sex was not overhyped... granted, there can be good sex and bad sex.
Definitely been through phases where I was or could be described as an addict.
|
*addictive.
|
Why does my penis appear small?
|
RedditAfterDark
|
112rfzr
| 0 | null | true | true | 0.5 | true |
Your first sentence probably explains it. Oh and stop comparing your dick to a pornstar's maybe.
|
Get your bmi under 10%
|
Get a midget to hold your dick. Shit will look like a baseball bat.
|
This is just a ploy so people believe tour penis is actually above average size, your more readable than a children’s book.
| null |
What are some legitimate ways to compensate for having a small penis?
|
RedditAfterDark
|
10xsmlj
| 10 | null | true | true | 0.86 | true |
Most women come from clitoris stimulation, not penetrative. Learn fingering and oral skills. In regards to penetrative sex, I like when they push up (towards my bladder) rather than in (towards my cervix), grinding it also nice, let her on top and tell her to move her hips forwards and backwards, not up and down.
|
Eat pussy like an Olympic champion my friend
|
My suggestion is focus on toys and oral sex as much as regular intercourse. There's also anal, it can (not always) be much more pleasurable when a guy isn't totally massive.
|
As a woman, I honestly think dick size stereotypes are most in perpetuated in porn and between men. My experience is that women really love and need oral and fingering. Penetrative sex is hyped in porn for the visuals but plays a way smaller role in most people's sex lives. Manual, oral, and toys are the way to the female orgasm hands down.
|
Ngl some lesbians be snatching girls in bed SO QUICK bc of their other skills. PP's not needed man. I think if you're good with fingers and stuff, you can do wonders
|
How do you keep fwb as a friend no more?
|
RedditAfterDark
|
10y21o4
| 1 | null | true | true | 1 | true |
I have actually only had good experiences with FWB arrangements and nobody catching feelings to a level that it became a problem.
I think the key is that both parties need to be "using" the other for their sexual desires ONLY. If one party is there just cause they want to be with that person (not just for the sex) is where some issue can arise.
|
You kinda have to make sure that neither of you have feelings for each other to begin with. You can flirt but make sure it doesn't hit all the right spots all the time. Show them you care as a friend but don't go as far as acting like you care as a partner.
Also, it's always best not to give each other too much of attention (like relationshis do). Make it clear that you're there for the fwb and not to satisfy their relationship needs
|
always have 5
| null | null |
Why did you cheat on your partner?
|
RedditAfterDark
|
10v8lgq
| 3 | null | true | true | 1 | true |
I wanted to feel something I wanted the attention I didn’t leave because I was scared to be alone and that It would be worse. Don’t cheat, leave
|
I wasn't in love with him anymore, but he was super abusive so I thought maybe he'd dump me for it and I'd be free.
Dumb dumb idea. He only doubled down on the abuse and made things way worse and now I've added "cheater" to my resume.
I highly recommend just separating and blocking your abusive spouse/partner.
|
They where abusive but the person I cheated with wasn't much better after we started dating
|
He accused and genuinely believed I had cheated several times when I genuinely had never cheated on anyone before. The next time I was given the opportunity I figured if I'm already "doing the time" I may as well do the crime. He never found out as I felt terrible and ended things the same day.
|
Loneliness like I’ve never felt. Being with a man who barely paid attention to me but said that he was happy with the way things were. Wanting to know if I was able to feel anything anymore.
|
Malaysians?
|
RedditAfterDark
|
10ta9os
| 0 | null | true | true | 0.29 | true | null | null | null | null | null |
How do you tone down your urges?
|
RedditAfterDark
|
10sdzqi
| 3 | null | true | true | 1 | true |
Grab an extra tube of lube and spank the spit out of it all day.
|
Alright horndogs, here's a real answer because masturbating alot can fuck up your dopamine, your energy levels and your sensitivity when you actually get to be with a partner. Go walk around, jump up and down, dance, jump rope etc. Do something physical so you get the dopamine rush, hell if you still want to make it weirdly kinky listen to audio porn in your headphones while doing it but edge yourself, make it a game so your more likely to stick with it.
|
Think about her begging you to explode inside hope that helps
|
We send each other sexy reddit posts of random sexual questions and answer them for each other. 🤷♀️
|
[deleted]
|
Are women turned off by inexperienced guys?
|
RedditAfterDark
|
10o1v0l
| 5 | null | true | true | 0.86 | true |
Not necessarily. If they are open to guidance it can be a a turn on.
|
A guy being inexperienced is a big turn on for me, I love the idea of being someone's first and teaching them.
|
It’s a turn off. Perhaps let her guide you, tell her you want her to lead the way. That way she has a chance of enjoying herself.
|
Ah okay I think I understand
|
I don’t think most people mind, just communicate so each side knows what they want. I mean gotta get experience somehow. Everyone with experience didn’t start that way. For many ladies it’s a turn on like myself. Just show up willing to learn and have a good time good luck my dude
|
This is what large breasted women REALLY think of small breasted women
|
RedditAfterDark
|
10o9hus
| 0 | null | true | true | 0.33 | true |
Hey. Do not include me in your self hatred. I’ve seen your posts. Women with big breasts do not deserve to all be lumped together just like any other group of people. Generalizations hurt everybody.
|
Honey, I think you need help. Based on your post history you seem to hate your body.
I have never met a big busted woman that wouldn’t kill to have smaller boobs.
|
Looking at your post history you gotta stop comparing yourself to other people. As a bitch with tits, Shakira's song Whenever, Wherever has this lyric that I always felt alot of love for. Alot of my girlfriends just have smaller frames overall and I know it's something that weighs heavily on their mind. Everyone has a differing opinions of what is 'attractive' and to be quite blunt. If someone told you your tits were too small they shouldn't have been lucky enough to be with you.
https://youtube.com/shorts/ODVc4emfRPI?feature=share
'Lucky that my breasts are small and humble so you don't confuse them with mountains'
To be such a powerful woman that it's LUCKY you're breasts are small, idk it just was such a bad ass line to me. Your body changes with time, so unless you get at least 2 breast jobs in your life, everyone is gonna end up with saggy tits by the time they're in there 50's. Beauty is fleeting, love who you are internally with a passion.
| null | null |
How do you stay loyal to the same partner for many years?
|
RedditAfterDark
|
10na53l
| 6 | null | true | true | 0.88 | true |
From experience, I would say 3 main things, constant communication, variety, and being open minded.
Communication is the key to express and discuss issues and express desires before they get bigger and make a larger problem. This could be about anything really! From sex to food to snoring at night! Whatever is it on your mind you need to communicate, and you need to accept your partner's comments and do some effort to make them happy.
Variety, is another big one, like you don't like eating the same food every single day, you need to change things up a bit, from actions, sex, to vacations, outfits, etc. Be creative and adaptive to your partners desires and surprise them with new things sometimes to keep the spark on
Open mindness, this is the key to succeed in the above two points, you need to accept criticism. Being willing to try new things, and never take your partner for granted and settle down thinking it will be like this forever, it won't. So you better be ready to spice it up before someone else does!
Good luck :)
|
For starters, you love them. After that it's pretty easy.
|
Easy. Don’t get in a relationship unless you can stay loyal.
|
What do you mean by loyal?
Falling out of love with you partner?
Falling in love with someone else?
Having sex with someone else (no love)?
Looking at others (lust)?
I mean, what’s okay also depends on the couple, and as far as we are concerned, it’s honest open communication with no secrets. Honestly, NO secrets.
For the first one, love needs work, u/naarrnory covered this just fine.
Falling in love with someone else while in a relationship is kind of scary, unless you are confident you can remain in love with you current partner, and your all okay for a polygamous relationship, this is probably a sign your too immature for a life partner.
Having sex with someone else is pretty rare, but lots do it, as long as it’s consensual, there’s nothing wrong with this. It’s very rare for it to not be done together though. Swinging, and threesomes are the realistic where this is at. Playing solo (Hotwife and hothusband) is a thing, but super rare. ONS though are a little more common, but again, it needs to be consensual, both partners should know, and be okay with it.
(This is where we are as a couple)
Lust is completely normal, you just need to realise that’s all it is. Your a human, you have hormones, end of story.
Just keep it as lust and enjoy the endorphins, let that release out with you partner.
|
I don't think it happens very often. It would be my guess, for those who do remain loyal, that the partners are maybe not all that sexually driven personality-wise.
|
Should I go through with my fantasy?
|
RedditAfterDark
|
10llhgr
| 7 | null | true | true | 0.89 | true |
Maybe consider if it's something he would be in to or you'll become his #Metoo story.I would test out that fantasy through text first. A little bit of "imagine if I..." to test the waters.
AND maybe also consider your colleagues. I doubt they want to be involved in yours and his sex life without consent.
|
As a guy who loves hand pleasure this would be unbelievably hot, but I’d suggest trying this in a dark movie theater rather than at the office.
|
I mean. If you don’t mind throwing your career away for a sexual thrill then go for it.
|
Do you want to lose your job, and any chance of a reference? It sounds hot but it’s not worth ruining your career over. If you want to get him off in public don’t do it at work.
| null |
How many people find Indian and Asian girls more attractive and sexy
|
RedditAfterDark
|
10jji52
| 2 | null | true | true | 0.62 | true |
Depends if they're attractive or not rather than ethnicity
|
I don’t thing it’s an ethnicity question so much as just looks in general. All races can be beautiful, average or ugly.
|
Sounds like someone has some yellow fever
|
Very attractive overall.
|
One easy way to figure out is to find a thesis paper on race and porn. To see who watches what. That should give a good indication.
|
Why do men care about women’s looks
|
RedditAfterDark
|
10h6ih2
| 0 | null | true | true | 0.38 | true |
That is hurtful generalization.
Would you go to bed with somebody you are not attracted to? Exactly...
|
I mean...I'm not sexually attracted to a person until I'm actually *interested* in them. An interesting person can go from unattractive to attractive really quick.
That said, physical attraction is a factor, and every guy I know finds different things attractive.
|
I think that may be too general, for one I would never take a BJ over PIV haha
Also I don't think it's about general looks, there's no "perfect" looks when it comes to what people get attracted to, but what you prefer personally should matter as sexual attraction is a key component in a healthy relationship.
And what you described may be a goddess for some, but I would for sure make some changes in that list!
|
I don't know about men, but as a woman, if I'm not attracted to you, I'm not going to get off. If I'm not going to get off, I'm not going to be an enthusiastic partner. Why waste anyone's time? I'll just go at it alone.
|
People don't generally go to bed with people they're not attracted to. A lot of sex is in the brain, I'm sure it feels better psychologically getting a BJ from someone you're more attracted to.
|
Does being circumcised or uncircumcised make a big difference?
|
RedditAfterDark
|
10e36on
| 7 | null | true | true | 0.89 | true |
I never know for sure, I wish circumcision wasn’t forced on me though. It should be an individual’s choice
|
I’m uncut and happy. Can’t see the point in altering nature unless it’s for medical reasons. Love the way you can pull back a foreskin and reveal that moist tip and don’t need to find any lube to have a wank as my foreskin moves up and down really nicely
|
I’ve been with both and yes it does. Uncircumcised is far better.
|
Who is downvoting all the ppl who are cut or saying they like being circumcised? Lol, seems like there's some insecurity out here....
|
[deleted]
|
question for guys who had threesome
|
RedditAfterDark
|
10e1876
| 0 | null | true | true | 0.5 | true |
Feel different a bit and the owners use them different. It’s never just about the feeling of 2 pussies. It’s more about the extra hands, skin and breath.
|
Well for starters they’re women, not just pussys…
|
They’re both unique feeling and it’s makes for some positions to give a different feel than you’re use to.
|
Yes they both feel different, it’s awesome when you can go back and forth between the two 😉
|
Always wanted to but probably never will lol
|
I don’t like the idea of a one night stand but I’ve watched a lot of porn. Why the hell am I doing this??
|
RedditAfterDark
|
107sp48
| 1 | null | true | true | 0.67 | true |
No. You’re human and you got lonely.
|
Find a gf
| null | null | null |
how do you personally handle being alone?
|
RedditAfterDark
|
105lska
| 5 | null | true | true | 1 | true |
I like alone time, but when I'm depressed, it's the worst. Right now I'm having a lot of emotional problems stemming from being caretaker for my severely autistic child. My bf doesn't live with me, but we live a few blocks away. I've explained that I'm feeling extremely down, and tbh he hasn't tried to see me or reach out at all in 3 days. I made the effort to stop by a garage sale he was at earlier but he was so interested in something else, I had to leave because my son started punching himself.
I'm on a 3 year relationship and I've never felt so lonely.
|
Find what excites you in life. Keep it simple OP.
Even just walking around ya block listening to music to start and end the day.
Don't overthink it
| null | null | null |
I started dating recently and porn just doesn’t do it for me anymore. I have no urge unless I’m with him. Is this normal or am I losing my sex drive ?
|
RedditAfterDark
|
1057lgb
| 13 | null | true | true | 0.9 | true |
its normal. As naturally you are attracted towards your partner and you probably in your honey moon phase. Give it sometime your kinks will come out so as all the urges.
|
3D beats 2D anyday for me, so normal.
|
I only really enjoy porn if I'm bored and horny. Having a healthy and happy relationship definitely makes me lose interest in porn.
|
You’re getting it naturally and assumed regularly so you don’t need so much anymore. Plus you SO it’s occupying your time more.
|
I think it’s different for everyone it doesn’t mean it’s bad though
|
question about safe sex
|
RedditAfterDark
|
1051eh5
| 7 | null | true | true | 0.77 | true |
Because in the moment guys are too horny to think..
Then afterwards the post nut clarity kicks in and wonder why did I just put my dick in there raw..
😂😂😂😂
|
misinformation, ignorance, and or careless; lots of people do things without considering the consequences
|
Ur 100 correct in ur thinking
|
Safe to most men means no babies , as the majority of us get tested every once and again. I would never agree to a blowjob while wearing a condom , it would be unpleasant and I wouldn’t get off. I usually like to spit on my cock before putting it in them for a few thrusts then when I’m hard I put on my condom.
|
Yeah I had sex with a prostitute who wanted me to use a condom for sex, but then gave me a blow job without one. I couldn't understand the logic either, I probably should have insisted on wearing one anyway
|
Does anybody ever find themselves attracted to people who aren’t typically their ‘type’
|
RedditAfterDark
|
104r1fs
| 6 | null | true | true | 0.88 | true |
Yep. Types are sort of b.s. What you find sexy is all that matters.
|
Every since my new job, it happens daily! Intelligence and confidence may be my new type!
|
Yes I don’t believe in types. Sexy is sexy.
|
All the time!
|
Yes, more so now than before probably because of reddit….
|
Ladies, do you like it if your partner sucks on your used tampons?
|
RedditAfterDark
|
zw5uk2
| 0 | null | true | true | 0.11 | true |
WTF is wrong with you?
|
No
|
😳😳😳 no
|
Good Lord.
|
Only if he's vampire
The most awkward question ever!!
|
How long should I wait to have sex in a committed relationship?
|
RedditAfterDark
|
zprfth
| 9 | null | true | true | 1 | true |
Hit it early. Set the tone
|
It honestly really depends what kind of connection or relationship you two have at first. Some wait for a month or two or even more to focus on other kind of connections then some just do it right away LOL which is also completely fine, either way the way it affects you both and what you have with each other really depends on both of you.
I’ve done both and waiting to have sex and getting to know the person more first makes it worth the wait for me because I get to feel more comfortable with that person and trust them more while having sex. It’s also more enjoyable imo.
|
Honestly it all boils down to connection in correlation to longevity. Sex is a necessary part of that connection but not the most important part.
|
It all depends on your comfort level. My longest relationship, we had sex on the second date🤷♂️
|
[deleted]
|
Is having sex in church considered a sin?
|
RedditAfterDark
|
zm5a5r
| 7 | null | true | true | 0.82 | true |
Idk let’s ask the preacher and one of the choir boys 😂
|
🙋🏼♀️ guilty as charged
But good thing God forgave me 😉
|
Father O'Malley used to say it wasn't.
|
If it is, then I'm going to hell lol. Oh wait I don't believe in hell. Blessed Be.
|
Not if you don’t believe in the concept of sin, which is a peculiar belief system of some religions to control people with the fear of another make believe place called Hell. True evil and evil acts happen. But tagging lots of behaviors as sinful is a scam by religions to control people and take their money. So, go ahead and have sex in a church, but not during its service. And, if you are religious, you can say “thank you lord for these blessings I’m about to receive “.
|
Why does everyone think big breasts are better?
|
RedditAfterDark
|
zbu06n
| 6 | null | true | true | 0.75 | true |
Some do some dont
|
I don't. I prefer breasts that are proportionate to the body type. And I like smaller or more petite body types.
|
Size makes no difference. Big, small, real, or fake, I still want to see them!
|
Not at all
|
i use to think that, but to me as long as you can get a nice handful it doesn’t matter!
|
I read this discussion in a group chat on MeWe. A guy was saying girls that are 18 are still children and anyone lusting after them is pedophile. Obviously no one was agreeing with him. What are your thoughts?
|
RedditAfterDark
|
zat6rg
| 2 | null | true | true | 1 | true |
It consensual and age legal so have it
|
18+ is legal but whether it's creepy or not depends on age, and maturity. The older you get, the less age gaps matter.
|
It depends on your age. In your 20’s? Maybe not so bad. In your 30’s? 40’s? Yuck.
|
18 year olds are the best!
|
Age is just a number and at some point it's just illegal. N rest caes it ain't matter as both of involved are ok with situation. That's all.
And questions like that shows how many people actually understands things they talk about.. We can see that especially when we talk about some "controversial" stuff, or trending.. Like genders, sexuality, ecology, technology, eviroment, biology, laws etc..
|
Is sending a nude to someone who just wrapped NNN kinda cheeky/cute or is it unnecessary temptation after accomplishing the goal?
|
RedditAfterDark
|
z9faoz
| 2 | null | true | true | 0.75 | true |
sounds more like a present to me
|
Daily activities
|
I’d appreciated it . Would make NNN worth the wait.
|
I think it would be a cute gesture
|
So cute
|
Being a hoe?
|
RedditAfterDark
|
z5uxg0
| 4 | null | true | true | 0.83 | true |
[deleted]
|
honestly you might just be having sex because you just really like it. those things might be true but i feel like only you would be able to know. now on the second thing, using protection is very important so keep doing that. but i also suggest protecting yourself when you're out doing stuff. and on the guy, i think it's fine if you go to his house, of course as long as everyone feels comfortable with it. the only thing I'd suggest is what i mentioned above in terms of keeping yourself safe, if you're at someone's house especially in the context of having sex with them, always make sure you can protect yourself. maybe you can take some pepper spray or something like that. not saying anything is gonna happen, but it's always good to be prepared just in case. hopefully you find this useful.
|
There are no hard “rules”. Generally if you stay the night it is more of a FWB relationship, where as a fuck buddy would leave shortly after the deed. You should have feelings for a FWB, because they are a friend that you have sex with. Then throw randoms in the mix, and it gets really confusing.
| null | null |
Can I talk with someone? I'm feeling really bad
|
RedditAfterDark
|
z5ndcb
| 9 | null | true | true | 0.92 | true |
I'm not sure how old you are, but most offers to talk on this sub will be guys wanting to talk about sex. Please be safe
|
I'd talk to you. What can I answer for you?
|
Hey. I'm really sorry. Parents and siblings can be shitty at times. I'm sure you look beautiful. Just know that a lottttt of people must find you attractive, so hang in there and believe in yourself.
| null | null |
What is your craziest fetish/kink?
|
RedditAfterDark
|
z4zyex
| 1 | null | true | true | 1 | true |
Zoo or smegma
| null | null | null | null |
Should you still use protection with oral sex?
|
RedditAfterDark
|
z49m0i
| 2 | null | true | true | 0.6 | true |
As someone that works in a clinic where they do throat swabs for Gonorrhea/Chlamydia, yes. Yes I would.
|
Do you want STDs in your mouth?
|
If it’s someone you just met than probably
|
If it is you....I wouldn't want anything netween my skin and yours!
| null |
Ever use sperm as an ingredient for gravy or other Thanksgiving dinner food?
|
RedditAfterDark
|
z42mpl
| 1 | null | true | true | 0.54 | true |
It's actually illegal to do in most states.
|
Do people use sperm to cook gravy? What else do they use it for?
|
Only baby gravy, never for dining
| null | null |
How much is too much masturbation?
|
RedditAfterDark
|
z3er6s
| 9 | null | true | true | 1 | true |
If its interfering with your day to day life. Like you're bailing on friends, family or work just to rub another one out, or it's ruining your sexlife if you're in a relationship.
If its not doing that then you're good to go!
|
Only if taking more than half of the day and preventing you from functioning properly 😂
|
Probs when it’s bleeding
|
When you feel your cock is numb and your balls hurt
|
Needing an asbestos glove.
|
Men, how do you masturbate and what do you do to clean up after ejaculation?
|
RedditAfterDark
|
z05usd
| 2 | null | true | true | 1 | true |
I use a towel, generally one I've tossed in the hamper after a few uses from the shower. It goes back in the hamper and gets washed with everything else, no drama.
|
Well, usually either laying down, or sitting down with some kleenex or toilet paper nearby. Usually just use that to cup the head when I cum and then just toss that into the trash or toilet when I pee afterwards.
|
I do it in the shower.
|
I like cum in my gf socks 🤤 easy
| null |
Ever thought about hate fucking a coworker?
|
RedditAfterDark
|
yvmf8y
| 13 | null | true | true | 0.93 | true |
Yes bruh I have a coworker who is so immature and so fucking annoying yet so sexy I literally want to fuck the shit out of him lmao
|
Ha! I am sure I have been hate fucked a time or 2.
|
i have, but not a coworker. it was this girl in my class that was always rude and we would always argue and i always thought of us just angrily fucking each other just so we can try to calm down haha
|
Deffo
| null |
What’s with men not wiping their asses?
|
RedditAfterDark
|
yq86v7
| 3 | null | true | true | 0.64 | true |
I feel that it may be a few instances, where it does not reflect men as a whole. Granted, I have known a few people (men and women) who may have some questionable hygiene moments.
|
Some people are just dirty. Men and women.
|
I've only encountered this once, many years ago, a poo stripe about a foot long as he shuffled to stand up. I was so cross I stood with my arms folded and shouted at him like he was a child (he was probably 10yrs older than me), he stripped my bed and remade it with clean. Told him to get in the shower and never darken my door again
|
I like to use my hands instead
|
So much to unpack here. Why are the straddling women's chests? What kind of sex position requires that?
I think the "men don't wash their butts because they think it's gay" thing is a myth. Some guys have hairy asses and think they've wiped good when they haven't. Some just don't wash good.
I've definitely come across some dick that smells like a combo of ass and soap, right after a shower. A lot of people (women included) just have faulty hygiene routines that are inferior.
|
To the sterile people of reddit, by operation, Male or Female. What was some unknown pros and cons with doing a sterilization?
|
RedditAfterDark
|
yok1ei
| 6 | null | true | true | 0.88 | true |
From a males pov you get all the feeling with none of the repercussions.
|
Well, from my male POV, getting rid of the little swimmers so there was no pregnancy risk from barebacking my SO was outstanding -- all of the sensations with no long-term complications. Not to mention that it was an easy, minimally invasive outpatient procedure, lots easier than a woman getting her tubes tied.
The down-side was about 2 weeks of severe bruising to my sack and being sore/swollen for a day or two.
The somewhat rough part of it was that lidocaine injections don't work on me, so I got snipped with no anesthesia. It didn't really hurt much, but the feeling of him pulling on my vas deferens made it feel like I was having my guts yanked out through my sack. That was kind of uncomfortable....
|
Females need to undergo surgery whereas a male it’s done in the office. Recovery harder for women. Men have restrictions for 3-5days where women it’s longer. My husband has had flare ups of random bouts of pain normally after a day of heavy lifting etc. Men they do have reversal option whereas women it’s pretty permanent.
|
I did it instead of my wife because a vasectomy takes about 30 minutes and you go home. Not many complications. Tubal ligation for women is major surgery with complications possible.
|
Pro, I now have a vagina. Also pro, I don’t have a penis.
Con, I can’t helicopter any longer or write my name in the snow.
|
With safety of anonymity, does anyone want to admit to things they shouldn't?
|
RedditAfterDark
|
ynofpe
| 5 | null | true | true | 1 | true |
Can't on here
|
Yes
|
[deleted]
|
I hate the Fast and the Furious series.
|
I mean isn't that what we're all doing? The whole point of this account for me is that it lets me talk about sex frankly without having to deal with judgmental assholes.
|
Why don’t most long distance relationships work out?
|
RedditAfterDark
|
ylgks8
| 7 | null | true | true | 1 | true |
Because hugs are important.
Because kisses are important.
Because whispering in each others ear is important.
Because the smell of your partner is important.
Because sex is important.
Because living together is important.
Because sharing expenses is important.
Because excessive travel expenses are bad.
The list goes on.......
|
I think it depends on how often you can see your partner.
I believe it fails if both parties isn't working equally as hard to keep the romance alive, it will just make it so much harder. And if you can't speak often, I believe it would be easy to feel disconnected.
And after a long time apart, it can feel like can feel like you are living totally different lives, especially if one or both get lots of new friends, so they will have all these new experiences and inside stories.
And if those friends aren't welcoming it will put a damper on things when you visit each other.
And if there is lack of trust and jealousy in the relationship, it's will be a nightmare. Because there will be temptations, and if one or both like to party or feel insecure and need attention it can easily be a recipe for disaster.
And if one or both of you have people in your life that like drama, are jealous or simply don't like your S.O, they can create chaos or even try and sabotage your relationship.
But if both are committed and protective of what you guys have, I believe it can be done.
It will be hard, you'll miss each other like crazy and you'll use a lot of money on travelling, even it's just for a weekend.
|
In addition to the lack of physical proximity or intimacy, I feel that the majority of long distance relationships do not work out is either because they failed to communicate. But most important, have an actual date for when that long distance ends where they can be together.
If it's short and there's a specific plan/date, then it would be easier for both parties to look forward to.
|
I’m going with sex.or lack of more so
| null |
Can a girl be too loud during sex?
|
RedditAfterDark
|
ybabv7
| 7 | null | true | true | 0.79 | true |
Genuine loud is fine. Forced loud is awful. Brain switch off is a great place to be
|
I would say the distinction is not being loud, but rather coming across disingenuous like it's porn. In regardto the former, depending where, I feel most guys love it, especially if it's genuine.
|
Depends if there's anyone else in the house!
One of my mates told me he once took a girl back to his parents house and they were screwing in the room next to his parents. Half way through she shouted loudly "fuck me in the ass". The next morning his mum commented that the girl he was with was quite noisy. Hahaha!
|
I’m straight so I’ve never had sex with a girl, but any time someone is so animated it seems fake, it’s a turnoff. If it seems ingenuine then yea that’s a problem.
|
I think unless someone is howling like a banshee, or like others stated it doesn't seem genuine or there's a reason to control the noise level (roommates, etc), most people would find it hot. I'm sure there are outliers, but if you like to get loud and they prefer it quiet, then it's just a difference in preferences and it might need a compromise or it might just be incompatible.
I also get pretty loud when stuff gets intense, but I think the only time I was told to be quieter was in an older building and the guy was shy about his neighbors hearing hahaha
|
Does anybody find people of the opposite sex unbelievably attractive despite them not being your type?
|
RedditAfterDark
|
y9qmq3
| 12 | null | true | true | 0.93 | true |
Not uncommon at all. The uniqueness of people's personality or physical assets can definitely be really attractive for some people. A lot of others only go for "their type" though.
|
It's easier not to have a type. Go with the flow. Except redheads. They're always hot 😂
|
Absolutely. I met an online friend for the first time recently and he's not my type at all, but I still found him super attractive.
|
Yeah. Happens all the time but that’s how you get to know more about yourself
|
There are so many unique people out there, you can’t know you like it until you meet them and they twist you up
|
Have the possibility to ask Any Sexual thing to my wife and... I don't know what to choose
|
RedditAfterDark
|
y97v9w
| 2 | null | true | true | 0.75 | true |
My suggestion would be not to push the boundaries too far. Pick something you think she will like thats just a bit beyond the norm for you. Then if you are right and she likes it, the offer may come again soon.
|
Ass to mouth.
| null | null | null |
Are extremely submissive women who like being verbally/psychology degraded real? Or is that a porn thing?
|
RedditAfterDark
|
y2e30o
| 4 | null | true | true | 0.83 | true |
Yes, there are women who into that and it's not just a porn thing.
One of my ex's were really into that and it surprised me as she was one of the biggest feminists and supporters of equal rights on campus. But in the bedroom, she would not only want me to verbally degrade her, but also called herself some of the most degrading things.
So yea, it's possible for you to find that amongst normal everyday women.
|
It's a thing. In fact, the majority of women I've dated have wanted me to talk down to them in the bedroom. Some more than others.
I've found that most women are into/into exploring less vanilla sex stuff as long as you treat them with respect in the other aspects of the relationship, and they trust you.
|
Find a bdsm friend/forum/club and let them guide you in the right direction.
|
Yes it's real, but be aware it's often the result of trauma in their past
|
Put your dick back in please, yes we exist, no it’s not an organized public group, we are probably not all “attainable, normal, or ‘down to earth’,”however. Actually idk any who would be all three. Probably your mother
|
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.