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t3_36vrfs | relationships | My boyfriend [18M] of 4 months complains I [18F] am bad at sex and it makes me not enjoy it | Before my current boyfriend I had had sex four or five times max with one night stands. So I am completely inexperienced. Not only that, but I don't masturbate or watch porn (I've tried but I don't enjoy it and it doesn't turn me on). In fact I have a pretty low sex drive most of the time.
My boyfriend changed that. I really started to enjoy sex because I loved being with him and having sex with him.
But he'll casually bring up the fact that I'm bad at sex and this will make me feel super insecure. He'll say things like "why can't you dirty talk?" but I don't know how to dirty talk and it makes me feel awkward.
He tries to tell me how to improve but it doesn't really help. He'll say move your hips like this or that but no matter what I try it doesn't seem to feel good or have any effect. We have been together for four months now and in the four months of having sex I don't think he believes I have gotten better which is disappointing because I feel like I enjoy it a lot more than at the start and I feel less awkward.
When he complains I feel like he'll leave me for someone who is better or can satisfy him sexually. I have no clue where to start or how to improve, I always just thought I needed to practice and if I have sex more I'll get better but this hasn't happened.
At this point I just feel really disappointed that I can't make him happy and that he considers us to have a bad sex life. It's affecting how often I want to have sex and it also makes me feel worse when we do have sex because I worry he didn't enjoy it. What should I do other than magically get better? | My boyfriend complains I'm bad at sex, but I don't know how to improve, and it's making me insecure and enjoy sex less/want to have sex less often. |
t3_qhclw | AskReddit | What is the most disgusting thing that your SO has done that you have had to take care of them through? | My SO had just finished a big account and was out celebrating from 3-9 and asked me to pick her up at a happy hour 45 minutes away. She called me when I was 15 minutes away to tell me that she had just gotten sick while walking into the bathroom and needed me to hurry. I assumed that she must have been pretty drunk at this point, so I prepared myself for the inevitable drunk ramblings and crying on the ride home. When I finally got there she came out very composed and not in the last drunk. She said she just really didn't feel good and couldn't talk as she was focusing on not getting sick. This is where an intelligent person would have looked for a bag in case she was about to throw up in my car. We made it about 35 minutes in and she announced that I needed to pull over so she could get sick. We were on a road that runs alongside a river, has no berm and a speed limit of 50 MPH so there was no way I was going to be able to pull over. Having done something similar in the past I told her to roll down the window and puke. While I had heard the old saying "Don't piss in the wind", she hadn't. As she puked the vomit immediatly came back into the car and sprayed all over her. At this point the smell started to overwhelm me and I rolled down my window to get some air. Wrong decision. This caused her puke flow towards my window and seeming as I was in the way, all over my face. We finally made it home where I stripped her down and made her get into the shower. She proceeded to suffer from food poisoning for the reminder of the weekend. | SO puked out the window but didn't look backwards, got all over both of us and everywhere in my car. |
t3_554ou1 | relationship_advice | Girl I was talking to randomly cut me off | Hello everyone. I am a senior in college and I recently met a girl in one of my accounting classes. We started talking because she is also part of a club at the business school I hang around with. Anyways we initially started talking about class and started studying together. She's gorgeous, smart, and caring, something I have not seen from a partner since my last serious relationship. Fast forward a few weeks and we end up making out one night at the college bar (she doesn't drink, I was a little buzzed). The next day was awkward for us, and for me personally. I haven't really dated someone I genuinely liked in a long time, and the interaction made me nervous, I communicated this to her and told her to take it slow. I told her I haven't talked to someone in quite sometime, and I wanted to keep hanging out with her to get to know her. Over the past week we have been texting and hanging out (mainly studying, we have a huge test tomorrow). I asked her repeatedly if she wanted to hang out after our test, when we were both relieved of it, so we could relax and have fun, and she agreed. We were at the library studying most of today when she said she didn't feel well, so she left for home. I got a text 10 minutes later from her basically saying she doesn't want to hang out with me. She had feelings for me and felt hurt that I did not feel the same. I told her I did, but I wanted to take things slow and get to know her, as it has only been 2 weeks since we started talking. I offered to sit down with her and just talk after our exam tomorrow, but she keeps refusing. What have I done wrong and how can I fix this situation? I really like her and I don't want to lose her, but I feel like she isn't even giving me a chance. | I started talking to a girl in class, she randomly cut contact with me after she told me she likes me and feels like I don't have the same feelings for her. |
t3_2b3oko | relationships | How do I [41f] do this whole post-divorce dating thing? | I just got out of a bad marriage (loveless, dead bedroom). I find myself dating guys I am attracted to, and I want to have sex with them probably too soon, because I've been pent up so long, but then I fall in love and then subsequently find out they weren't as into me as I was into them. Or I realize after we fuck that I didnt actually know or like their personality, but didnt realize it because I was too blinded by lust?
I dont know what the fuck I'm doing. I married the first boyfriend I had, so I never figured this out. . How should I approach dating? I want a LTR, with someone I have sexual chemistry with, but how do I not put sexual chemistry in the driver's seat? How do I not make myself look like a cheap slut who falls into bed too quickly? What is too quickly? Someone please give me the owners manual to this shit! | I want love, I want good sex, I want friendship. Someone tell me how to get it please. K thx. |
t3_130xdk | AskReddit | What are some ideas for a marketable skill or trade that can be learned from home with little financial investment? (x/post from /r/Advice) | (I was advised to post this here as well. Sorry if it's the wrong spot.)
I'm in a unique situation at the moment. I work at home and have a lot of free time once the work is done for the day. I don't have a lot of extra income, but I would like to learn a new skill or trade from home.
What would you suggest as far as a marketable skill -- something that I could eventually do to earn significant income?
I'm willing to treat learning this skill or trade like a second job. I am somewhat tech savvy, but not overly mathematical. I am not ready to go back to school for this new skill or trade, but if the payoff is there in the long-run I would consider it later down the line. | I am looking for a marketable skill or trade I can learn from home that does not take a significant financial investment. |
t3_2ieakn | askwomenadvice | I messed up big time while drunk texting girl and was really mean. | Last night I was fighting with my friends and was drunk and very angry and took it out on the girl I was basically dating. I freaked out on her for no reason and said a ton of stuff that I didn't mean and was really a complete dick. I immediately texted her apologizing the next day and couldn't go see he as I went home and don't live near her. She is insanely pissed off and said she needs time and even said that now she knows for sure she doesn't want to be with me. I apologized profusely but now I don't know what to do or how long I should give her before I talk to her again. I really want to be with her but now it looks like I may have messed it up. We have been on and off talking for a long time now if that helps out with the answer. What should I do?
Also, she's saying I keep messing up and just ask for an apology and claims that she doesn't mess up near this often. (Not true at all she has hooked up with another guy a lot and continues to say it won't happen and it does but through all of that I still care about her). I want to convince her it won't happen again. | Was fighting with my friends while drunk, got really angry, and said a lot of mean stuff to her I didn't mean at all. |
t3_2i3zoj | relationships | Me [22 M] with my sister's friend [both 16F] recently, they're making claims to my parents that aren't true | I'm living at home right now, before I get shit about that I do have a job and am saving up for my own place. I graduated last May from college and have a well-paying job near my parents home; my plan is to move out January 2015.
I have two younger siblings and normally I get along with them. My sister is 16 and my brother is 14.
My sister has a new friend who she is really tight with, despite them only knowing each other a year. Her friend is extremely good-looking and knows it - please don't take that for me expressing interest in her, this is just a fact. I would not want to date a 16yo, I have a 16yo sister so I'm quite familiar with the age gap. That said, she wear clothes that flaunt her figure and poses in ways so that her shirt is always falling open, etc. Before all this, I would sometimes admire the view, but I was careful not to do it when anyone was looking and stoppe dmyself when I caught myself.
She will try to spend time with me alone in a room, which I wasn't as careful about to begin with (remember - my sister is 16, so I still think of her as a kid, so I wasn't like "oh crap this girl is coming on to me"). I'm a pretty awkward guy too so I didn't pick up on anything.
Apparently, sister's friend told sister that I've been harassing her and assaulting her. They both called me a creep for a few days. This is untrue. Sister bought it hook line and sinker, and now they're complaining to my parents that I am always staring and leering and creeping around when she's over. They talk about how creepy my behavior is. Again, this is untrue, and she is always over so of course I'm going to run into her a lot.
Anyway, what can I tell my parents? They're threatening to kick me out because I'm bad at standing up for myself and this girl will sob while she's telling them these lies, it's really frustrating tha tthey are siding with her over me righ tnow. | Sister's friend is accusing me of being a creep, I'm not at all, now I'm being kicked out. Wat do? |
t3_1c6yyj | running | Overdid it tonight... | I usually run 5-10k, I'm a pretty casual runner compared to some guys here, and I haven't actually run consistently for months, but today I felt like going further..
I have a 10k route that I usually take but when I got to the point where i was 3k from home and I felt amazing so I decided to extend my run.
I should mention that I live in Canada and it snowed and there was freezing rain today.
Anyway about 14k in decided i was going to go for a half marathon. I felt good but as time passed it got colder and icier. I started to slip around (skinned my knee pretty bad), my iPhone died, and my legs started to give out.
At 18k I was exhausted and still 4k from home. This part of my run was sloped downwards and the sidewalks were solid ice at this point, I had to slow down and start walking carefully down the slope and all the fatigue and pain in my legs just hit me all at once and I started walking the rest of the way and sitting for a minute at every bench i could find.
Eventually I made it to the last kilometre and the wind started to pick up. My sweater was now frozen with sweat and my I was losing feeling in my feet since i started walking through the snow, which gave me some grip. The cold and pain were now so bad I actually started to get scared, which actually helped me force myself to run the last kilometre home and collapse in my bedroom.
My shower afterwards was agonizing too, I couldn't seem to stand for more than 30 seconds at a time so I just lay on the floor of the shower and let the water just wash over me.
The worst part was that my family had been worried sick since my phone died and were actually heading out to look for me. Feel really shitty about that.
Anyway I learned my lesson and I'm not going to be stupid about pushing myself too far outside my boundaries. Thanks for reading. | 10k run turned into a half marathon through canadian winter (IN FREAKING APRIL). Did not end well. |
t3_26mmv1 | Dogtraining | Worsening Separation Anxiety? Food/Toys Won't Distract | I recently asked for ['Ideas to Tire My Dog Out Mentally and Physically Before Work'](
As it turns out, no amount of toys or exercise will get my dog to relax when we leave him, and I think it's a severe case of separation anxiety.
I've read the other threads on this subreddit, but nothing we've tried has worked. It's been 3-4 weeks with virtually no improvement. We did start allowing him to roam free in the apartment (as opposed to confining him in our bedroom), and that has helped a little bit. He lies down quietly for up to 20 minutes at a time.
We do exercises where we leave and come back for short intervals of time. We reward him with high value treats, but it's like he knows it's just a test. He WILL NOT EAT when we're not at home, so puzzle bowls and Kong Wobblers are ineffective.
Do we need to hire an at-home trainer? We've been taking him to doggie daycare for 2 days a week to mix up his schedule in addition to 3 days a week of a hired dog walker. We take him to a dog park to play with other dogs in the morning. Daily doggie daycare would cost us thousands of dollars per year, so we don't want (and can't really afford) to go this route.
He always barks when we leave. If it's in the afternoon, he might calm himself down and go to sleep for a little bit. If it's in the morning, he goes nuts. We get complaints from our downstairs neighbor. Sometimes he'll be quiet for 20-30 minutes, but not long enough for peace of mind. My girlfriend and I monitor him on Skype and watch him howl and bark as our blood pressure rises and rises. | We're totally desperate and feel like we've tried everything (not meds, not a bark collar, not a thunder shirt -- should we try?), but my dog's separation anxiety isn't getting better. Please help. |
t3_504y08 | relationships | A close friend (21F) of mine (21M) is coming over to stay at my place tonight - I've had feelings for her in the past and don't know if I should make a move or not? | We're both current university students - she's working for the upcoming term and as a result has her apartment rented out. We're really close, so she reached out to me and asked if she could stay over at my place tonight, due to the fact she has an exam tomorrow. We first started talking a couple years ago because I had a massive crush on her.
I'm sure I'm overthinking everything here, because to my knowledge she's never had a crush on me. We've joked that if we're both still single by our late 20's we'd start dating. I definitely still have some romantic feelings for her, and wouldn't be opposed to something more happening tomorrow.
As of this moment, I'm going to pick her up tonight from the bus stop, she's going out for a drink with some old friends from her school job then she's going to come back and we're going to watch Game of Thrones together. The TV is in my room and the only real sitting space is my bed.... which I also said she could have for the night.
I guess my predicament is should I make a move? I think I want to but I don't know what kind of reaction to expect... | A really close friend asked to stay at my apartment for the night, I've had feelings for her in the past and don't know whether or not I should make a move |
t3_upss0 | AskReddit | I'm in love with a girl who hates me: Any females able to give some advice? | Ok so here goes:
A while ago me and this girl had a little thing together, usually when we were all out drinking me and her would be into each other.
One night we all got drunk and me and her ended up doing stuff.. Not sex, she was clear that she would rather we where sober for that.
I really like this girl but i was about to leave for the army the next month so did not want to get into anything like a relationship.
So i kinda didn't see her for a while and then went off to the army.
I come back and she is seeing this guy, so everytime we where all hanging out or something i would be a jealous asshole and just
be a bit of a dick making jokes at her expense etc. *(I know im a dick)* so now she thinks i'm a complete asshole.
She thinks everytime i try talk to her now i'm going to be an asshole so just ignores me.
How do i get her to talk to me without you know just coming clean and telling her exactly how i feel.. Because that is a terrible idea.
Also i rarely see her in person now because social groups have changed and the only way i can talk to her is on facebook where she completely ignores me.
Or should i just let her go? | I was a bit of an asshole to a girl because i didn't want to get into a relationship because i was leaving for the army, still in love with her, but she wont speak to me. |
t3_fxwkm | AskReddit | Wife's given up on me after 11 years, so I'm thinking about relocating to start over. Where to? | Throwaway.
After 11 years of fairly typical marriage, the wife has decided that she's done with me. We've been getting counseling, but it's clear to me that her reason for seeking therapy is to gain the strength to leave me - not to try to repair our marriage. At this point, I'm fairly sure she used me to put her through college and, now that she's out, I'm being fucked over. All that said, I've fairly well accepted it. I'm going to let counseling run its course and see if there's any miracles left in the bag of tricks because I do still love her and profoundly want to reconcile, but I'm operating under no illusions.
So on to me. I'm a bit of an adventurer, love to travel, and I've always wanted to get away and live somewhere more interesting. While putting her through school, I passed up relocations and promotions that would have moved me all over the globe. I harbor no regret, anger, or resentment about doing that, but now that I'll have the opportunity apparently, I'd like to scratch that itch.
I'm 32, male, and live in Austin, Texas. I'd prefer to consider foreign destinations, preferably places where I'd eventually have strong dating potential, either via lack of strong local predisposition against Americans or the presence of a strong american expat community. Bonus points if the destination has a vibrant amateur ice hockey or baseball community (uberpoints for both), as I still play both actively.
I own a business now and can do my work from anywhere in the world, but I'd love to consider actually taking a job for the first time in a while. Where ever I go, I'll probably run my business for a bit at first until I find a job, then sell the business to one of my employees. I've been a successful: software developer, customer service manager, IT director, and business manager. If you're somewhere "interesting" and know about a job I might qualify for, I'd especially love to hear about that.
So... whatcha think, AskReddit? | Wife's leaving me. Thinking about relocating. Pref internationally. Looking for first world locations where I would have good dating potential, and be able to continue playing either hockey or baseball. |
t3_13tt7l | relationships | Me (M: 25) told by friend (F: 26) I should go to therapy. I tell her to not worry about me and receive a tirade basically calling me out as wrong in not wanting people to worry about me. Am I in the right, or can I not see the forest through the trees? | I am a 25 year old male who has been friends with a 26 year old female since college (about 7 years now). We are just that: friends. Nothing romantic has ever happened, or will ever happen, between us.
A few months ago, I took a job in a different part of the country where I knew no one my age and left an awesome group of friends. It hasn't been going well and I am getting a little depressed with plans to move back in a year. Needless to say, I've gotten down in the dumps but find things to cheer me up and try not to project anything negative.
I have some friends coming into town in a few weeks. There seems to be no enthusiasm from any of them on coming, yet one of the said friends (the female friend mentioned above) will let me know how excited she is for other trips she is going on. It's not hard to pick up on the fact that this trip may be a chore. I ask my friend if she actually wants to come, she does, we are all good, etc.
Yesterday, she asked if I've ever considered therapy for "building self esteem and getting some clarity in relation to romantic relationships". I tell her that, while not offended by that question, I haven't considered it and to please not worry about me. She responds by saying she will never ask about it again, but will always think about it and treat our friendship as being "douchey (and) fake" if it doesn't come up.
The fact that I am not in a romantic relationship does not worry me or keep me up at night. But to tell her this means that I am wrong. There is nothing I can say or do that will ever be right in her eyes, but am I the wrong one here? Or can I not see the forest through the trees? | Friend worries about me, I tell her not to. She gets mad at me for not being worried about the same thing she does. Am I wrong? |
t3_1zw0ke | relationships | How do I [27F] tackle communicating with my SO [30M] without conjuring up psycho ex flashbacks? (been together 1 yr) | Basically my question is, how do you deal with someones trauma (?) of getting their head chomped off every time they disagreed with their ex (or did something the ex didn't like)? From what I've gathered she was very insecure (cheated on and also abused) and quick to pick fights.
Because even though i love my SO to bits, its getting to me. I feel like i'm sort of forced to make everything sort of funny or explain myself in a egg-shell-walking-manner so he doesn't get bummed out. Both of us are easy going, and are goofy as hell together. We get shit done, but avoid conflict like the plague. Like I dont want conflict. the last thing I want to do is hurt my SO, i love him more than anything. We have a really good thing going ..I just wish it wasn't. so. delicate. Or is that how some relationships just are?
How do you establish frank loving communication with someone if their immediate reaction to being assertive is 'whoa tiger', a half-hearted smile and ultimately shutting down. I realize its a pretty small problem, but i feel like its wearing me out. He basically avoids that conversation until hes sure the coast is clear and i usually end up apologizing and trying to explain what i meant but it still takes the entire damn day. I feel like i'm dealing with behaviors he picked up in the last relationship and I just want to stomp around yelling "ARRR DUDE I AM NOT HER!! FOR FUCKS SAAKE" <- sure this would work. I dont want to stew on and on about this. I think part of it also might be our different cultures and him being brought up around some really really strong, outspoken women. I dont know, i'm tired of analyzing it. Anyone know how to deal with this kind of thing? | Trying to be assertive is interpreted as being angry by my SO - how do you deal with weird PTSD due to psycho ex? |
t3_2kg1fz | relationship_advice | [24/m] The one that got away [21/f] shes coming back around and going to fuck with my head help! | My ex is and was my first love, plain and simple. I'm sure the story of how we met is in some kind of cheesy romance movie but yeah. She left me to go pursue the "college life". Every now and then she comes around and really turns my life upside down. There has been back and forth hints and whispers about getting back together and this time I know shes going to be coming back around. But to get to the current issue, There is another girl that I'm talking to kind of, shes really cute and makes me happy but I don't want the past to come back and bite me on the ass, or I don't want my past to come back and have me hurt the new girl. I'd love some advice and or help | The one that got away likes to visit out of the blue and mess with my head and heart. Shes my first love, and there is a new girl that makes me happy. |
t3_1k2vaf | loseit | When do you start disregarding the scales and focus on physical changes? | Hey everyone,
Just a brief question - when do you start to disregard the numbers on the scales?
I'll provide some context; I started this year at 216 lbs. Through moving house and into my own place I started to control my diet and commence exercise. With some change, I managed to drop to 190 lbs. It felt awesome, I had never seen such a drop in my life. However when I visited my parents they thought I looked sick in the face (like when one loses weight through illness, they meant well but were concerned I wasn't eating).
However in the last 6 weeks I actually put on 5 lbs. I've been watching my diet and still eating well, but gained weight. I wasn't impressed that I was gaining weight. However I obviously ignored the fact that I could lift a lot stronger weight. I no longer felt like throwing up after gym/cardio classes and I think I look physically better. I can deadlift more, squat more, bench more than ever (not that I can do a lot, but now people ask me questions which is a strange feeling to say the least).
The thing is, I still have weight to lose but the scales aren't dropping. Is it time that I stopped looking at the scales and focused more on my appearance? | Started at 216lbs, dropped to 190lbs and felt awesome. Gained strength and gained weight to 195 lbs. I believe I look better but those scales are rising. When should I stop judging success on scales and focus on aesthetics? |
t3_jpn1h | AskReddit | Living with roommates and away from home for the first time | I just transferred to a college out of state and I'm living with two other people I met on Craigslist. I never lived with anyone but my mom before. I've only lived here for a few days so far and they seem cool, not exactly like my friends back home but I see they can be good friends.
As I never lived by myself before (or with roommates) I just have some questions.
Food, right now it doesn't seem to be a problem (I haven't ate much since I got here will probably get a small commuter meal plan at school to make sure I have some food easily available.) How do I make sure I know what food I bought and know what they have. I have only bought some sausage, bacon, cream cheese and some hard cider.
Cleaning the bathroom, kitchen and other parts of the common areas. The kitchen is obvious clean as you use it and pick up after yourself. What's the best way of cleaning the bathrooms though? (we have two) Also what's the cheapest/best cleaning supplies to do that.
Also I'm a bit hairy of a person and I do leave some hair behind in the shower. So far I have taken a dirty piece of clothing and wipe it down real quick to collect some. Any better ways of doing that?
The bills will be split three ways, the rent is easy as I will use my check book. I was going to use my bank's billpay function to pay my third. | Living with roommates and away from home for first time and just wanting some tips on cleaning, bill paying, cooking/food, etc. |
t3_3p75j4 | relationships | My [16 M] friend started dating my [16 F] best friend and I need help not being a jealous asshole [I am M] | So..... Three years ago I got a crush on my best friend (lets call her B) and it has been festering ever since (to the point of borderline psychosis). About a month and a half ago I finally confessed my affection and was politely rejected.
So after that I was somewhat depressed for about a month (every day was a sad day) and after a month of depression I was over the hill and almost over her. Then she started dating my other friend (lets call him A).
Before all of this, I was in good standing with A and we were buddy-buddy. I am doing my best not to be jealous but the timing and the context was icing on the cake. Due to the interconnectivity of all of my friends and A/B, my jealousy, anger, and aggressiveness (although so subtle) is making things tense and awkward.
I don't want to ruin my friendships and I don't want to be an asshole, but I'm doing just that. Please help
[Sidenote]
I'm normally a nice guy but this whole ordeal has been a rollercoaster for me and is pushing me to my limit. I'm sure you can imagine it but I loved that girl (and still do) alot. I wan't her to be happy, but my feelings are getting in the way. | A friend of mine started dating my best friend who recently rejected me, and I am obviously jealous and having difficulty containing my emotions. I need help so I don't ruin two relationships. |
t3_20j9zj | relationships | My boyfriend ignores me to play video games. How can I tell him I feel neglected? [24F, 30M] | My boyfriend is away for work a lot. He works in mining and is in a camp for 9 days and home for 5. He works incredibly hard- gets up at 4:30am to go to site and gets back to his room at 6:30pm.
When he got back to his room, we would usually text back and forth for an hour or two while he watched TV or read. Just shooting messages back and forth about our day, asking questions, brainstorming what to do when he got home. He shares a room with another guy so calling is a bit awkward as we have no privacy.
In the last month or so he's picked up the game Diablo III again. He is into video games but he is kind of obsessed with this game. He plays with a couple of our friends, including my roommate.
At first, he would play for a bit then text me a few times before bed. Now he'll text me once when he gets back to his camp to ask how my day was then go play his game for the rest of the night and not respond to anything. So in all the time he's away, I get like 9-12 texts from him. The whole time.
I understand he works really hard and wants to unwind but I don't like this barely talking for 2/3 of the month. It's hard enough with him being away, but hearing from him for a bit every night made it better. I don't need to have long drawn-out conversations every night but this is how it usually goes:
**Him: Hey what's up?**
**Me: [whatever I'm doing/did that day], how about you?**
**Him: Just playing Diablo before bed.**
I feel like that's my cue to shut up, because even if I respond after that he doesn't reply. Not even to say "Goodnight" or "I miss you".
Is this just something I'm should learn to deal with or is he being a bit neglectful? I'm starting to feel bad that he won't take the time to give me more than 130 characters a day for most of the month. | Boyfriend is away for work often. Used to text me pretty consistently but now that he has started playing Diablo, he never talks to me when he is away. Should I just deal with it or mention it to him? |
t3_1xkmta | relationships | I (17M) didn't know if I missed my chance with her (16F) | We met in choir and became friends last year. Then this year I asked her to Homecoming (as friends). Through the night I was able to get to know her better and our friendship was strengthened.
The next week I thought maybe she had feelings for me. However I didn't find her physically attractive and I was trying to stay out of a relationship since I figured out through experience that I suck at relationship stuff.
Later on I started developing feelings for her and just couldn't get push them off. So I started to try to get closer with her and it seemed things were going well. We were texting (it was always me starting the conversations) and talking a little more.
Then on Facebook her sister uploaded pictures of her and her "very close guy friend". (The kid is 15 and not allowed to date yet) I stopped texting her but we still hung out at school sometimes but not as much.
That was back in October. Now we are close friends and I found out that poking and staring is just part of her personality.
I also found out that her "very close guy friend" isn't working out but my best friend now has a crush on her. I'm not worried about him as competition and would love to see him date someone since he is slightly socially awkward but I would rather it not be her. | Girl I like might have liked me but then got into a relationship. Relationship is going bad. My best friend now has a crush on her. Should. I stay low and see what happens or should I start making moves? |
t3_4pza9p | relationship_advice | Me [29/m] I don't know how to handle life decisions of my gf [25/f] | Hello everyone, I'll try to be short. I am 29 guy with decent job, apartment, new car etc etc... I've been dating my gf 1 year and few months now and I have to say it's the most stable relationship I had so far, we are nice and sweet to eachother and everything goes smoothly. Though she still leaves with her parents in a distance ~2h from my place but we meet almost every weekend and quite often she lives with me for several weeks so that is fine. The big issue is that at the age of 24 she was kicked from her university as she failed to pass some major exams and even though she tried that year to give again exams for another university she really didn't try that hard and by procrastinating all the time she ended up wasting a year without any result. I won't blame her 100% as the situation with her family is already not that good as they complain a lot about her doing nothing, there are also daily small arguments there which are making living with them not so pleasant. The thing is that with all those failed attempts the last years as well as living with the family made her loose motivation for anything. Lately we had discussion about her moving here. As a result, I am thinking to help get get to a local university, or take some kind o education so she can has a decent job and for her also to feel that she is not useless as we constantly have that issue that she doesn't likes me paying etc etc. She is quite stubborn as a person and with her ideas etc.. It's not easy at all to change her mind but I really need to find a way to explain her that she has to do something with her studies and I am here to help her and support them. But what would you advice me to do in case she will move with me? How can I support her and at the same time making her beleive that she is not using me (in terms of money when she will be here)? | I don't want my girlfriend to feel that she is using me, but I must motivate her to study and do something with her life. I don't know how... |
t3_sy10z | AskReddit | What was the pivot point in your life? | I have come to realize that my life's pivot point is one of the most casual and baffingly lighthearted choices I have made in my life.
In France, the end of the lycée (high school) is where everyone gets separated and you have to make your first real orientation choice. Backtracking after that point is hard.
I was a kid completely hooked up to a computer in general, but I had never dived into programming, save for some BASIC programs. I had my orientation narrowed down to two choices:
My first choice was "Statistics and Computerized Handling of Data". Someone had given a souped up presentation about how it was super cool and how we wouldn't have trouble finding a job, etc. They hyped me real bad on this thing.
My second choice was "Informatique". The best translation I can come up with is "Computers". Note how fucking uninspiring this name is.
So I was all prepared to go and make statistically-oriented powerpoint presentations and hand-feeding SQL databases for the rest of my life.. until this very last day when they set our choices "in stone".
I proceeded to ask myself "What if this isn't as great as the dude said?" (In retrospect: OF COURSE it isn't, you DUMMY!!), and finally concluded with "Meh, computers look more general.", swapping my choices on a whim.
I am now working in a research lab on virtual reality and high performance computing (HPC); currently preparing a computer engineer degree (prestigious title in France), and my head is filled with videogame projects for the next 20 years to come. | I almost became a "powerpoint number compiler" for some manager, banker or some shit, instead of a fulfilled computer scientist/programmer. |
t3_3v2ey7 | tifu | TIFU by congratulating my teacher's pregnancy | *Male teacher, its his wife's, but I couldn't write a good title with that. Also this happened like a week ago* | thought my teacher's wife was pregnant. Nope, had a miscarriage and we were all making fun of him for a week or so without knowing |
t3_wgego | running | Insole advice for neutral shoes (high arches) | I have been running for almost a year. I did the gait analysis at Road Runner early on and was fitted for wide stability shoes. Since then, I've had various foot injuries off and on which I don't necessarily attribute to any sort of "misdiagnosis" at the running store. Part of my treatment has been switching to green Superfeet insoles which helped a lot, and I love them.
Based on [some recent studies about the lack of need for stability shoes] I am considering trying out a neutral shoe (Brooks Ghost 5) since they are supposed to be good for people with high arches, which I have. Given that neutral shoes are geared toward high arches, should I expect not to use my green Superfeet anymore? Will I get enough arch support with the factory insole? | switching from stability to neutral for my high arches. Should I stick with my green Superfeet or will the neutral insoles provide enough arch support? |
t3_4c6u9c | relationships | Me [21 M] with my Girlfriend [21 F] of 1y and 8 m, She lost all interest in sex after was diagnosed with HPV | We have a great relationship and a great / healthy sex life, but 6~ months ago she was diagnosed with HPV and everything was a downhill from there, she had a treatment and a small surgery to remove a wart.
After some time, she lost all interest in sex and doesn't have sexual desire because she's afraid i could hurt her or she could transmit it to me if we have sex.
We're in love and i'm not thinking about leaving her, cheating or something like that, She's an amazing girl and i've been supporting her since day 1 and nothing changed after she was diagnosed, even when she though i was going to leave her because of it.
She has always been a girl with a high sexual desire and feels weirds that it's not there anymore, i'd like to make her feel better about it and that she shouldn't be afraid, but i can't do it... i don't know how to say it anymore or make her understand it without making her feel sad for it.
I'd would like to recover that part of her and us that makes our relationship even more special.. But i don't know how!? | Girlfriend of 1 year and 8 months lost all interest in sex after she was diagnosed with hpv and i would like to make her feel good about it again |
t3_44nlt6 | relationships | My (20f) boyfriend (20m) wants to get circumcised for me, and I feel like it's too much of a drastic sacrifice. | So we've had sex with condoms many times before, but there were three incidents of a split, followed morning-after-pill sagas, and we didn't think it was worth the risk. So now I'm on hormonal contraception, and we tried having sex on Friday. He's had non-barrier sex before, with his ex-girlfriend, and I've had non-barrier sex with my ex-boyfriends. Thing is, it wouldn't fit. Without being too crude, everything about me is a bit too small, and everything about him is a bit too big- and it's painful for him- as his foreskin is almost tearing at the opening of my hoo-ha (during condom-sex, the condom must have kept his foreskin in place and 'protected' it from pain). When we talked about it, he immediately suggested that he should have his foreskin removed to solve the problem- as if he hadn't given it a second thought.
WHAT? That's crazy! We've been together for around three months, it's not like it's in any way certain that I'm the only person he'll ever have sex with- it's (unfortunately, but I'm a 'live-in-the-moment' person) highly likely that we won't last forever and we'll both have sex with other people in the future. People where everything would fit, and he wouldn't have to lose his foreskin (and therefore, some sensation). I love him (we haven't exchanged the L's yet) and I hope we do last, but I don't want him to lose sensation, and a part of his body, only for my sake. He said "I want to be able to satisfy you" (which I immediately assured him, he does already), and "it's the only option". There must be some other option.
Gotta be honest, there's a tiny part of me that finds this weirdly romantic- he's willing to get rid of an _extremely_ important part of his body to be able to have sex with me. The rest of me is shocked, and wants to talk him out of such a drastic change.
What do you think reddit? | Boyfriend wants to get circumcised after our first almost session of no-condom sex didn't work. I think it's a bit too drastic. |
t3_4f3shv | tifu | TIFU by putting bleach on my Dad's clothes | **DISCLAIMER**- This was not today but a month or two ago(apologies.)
**STORY**- So at the time my Dad would pay me $5 for every single load of laundry that I would do for him. Prior to this my Dad was getting annoyed because I would not have any way to get the laundry to him (he usually had to come get it or someone else would have to go drop it off.) So for one load that had someone of his most expensive brands (he wears a lot of expensive clothing) which include Hurley, American Fighter, and Affliction. So I did start the wash and went up to my Mom and told her that I did that and she told me to go take it out quickly. I went down and it had marks on it where the color had been removed with an orange tint to it. Till' this day my dad is still upset with me. After that happened I am no longer trusted to do his laundry and he feels that I should do work to make it up. | I was a fucking idiot and put bleach on my Dad's expensive clothing thinking it was laundry detergent. Now I do not get to make money from doing his laundry! |
t3_2bqj11 | relationships | I (18/M) don't know how to make sense of her feelings for me (17/F) | I had made a move and asked a girl I was a good acquaintance with out on a date. She had said yes and was incredibly receptive, even rescheduling since she was busy the suggested night (we were going to be seeing each other that night at an event by coincidence anyways.)
The night of the event she had expressed how she was really looking forward to the date (we were both drinking), in which we kissed after that.
**This is where it gets confusing**
The rest of the night she was acting aloof with me, and seemed irritated.
The next morning she had asked to reschedule for the next day since we were both incredibly tired and hungover. That was the extent of our conversation that day.
The day which was finally scheduled had come around, in which she decided to cancel at the last moment, and said that she wasn't really looking to invest in any romantic relationship. She told me that she finds me attractive, and thinks that I'm a "great guy" but suddenly wanted to have nothing to do with me. What? | Hot and cold reactions from a girl I had set up a date with. Can't discern what the problem is, and if it was there to begin with. Please help. |
t3_2c4grs | relationships | Me [20 F] with my BF [20 M], together for nearly 2 years. Upcoming issue (for me) | Hey there /r/relationships! Looking for some advice on a situation that's coming up in a few months!
Anyhow, My boyfriend have been together for nearly two years, for the most part we have a great time together and he's amazing. We're planning to go to England for a 1.5 month holiday at the start of december (and possibly living together next year). However, being students, we'll both head home for a month, before meeting up together and flying to England...Now the issue.
In January he (sort of?) cheated on me with another girl he met when he was at home/on New years holiday with some friends. It was never physical, but there were a number of flirtatious messages and texts (Which I never saw) exchanged between them, as well as snapchats (which I didn't know the content of). I discovered this a few days before I was due to fly to his home and spend the rest of the holidays together. After much arguing, and almost breaking up, I flew up there and we decided to see if there was anything worth salvaging. Long story short, we stayed together and our relationship has never been better. He's so much more loving and kind to me, and involves me with more of his life. And I've also made sure I put in the same effort back so we both feel loved. So yeah, everything is great in this regard. I 100% believe that he will never do this to me again.
The issue I need help with, is the fact that we'll be separated for nearly a month and a half before we go to England. It's not the problem that I don't trust him not to do anything with someone else, it's just I am already anxious about having to spend so much time apart and keep having flashbacks of everything that happened in January. I was wondering if you could recommend some coping strategies to help get rid of these feelings?
Sorry for making this so long! I really appreciate any help! | boyfriend cheated 7 months ago, we got over it and the relationship is better than it's ever been. How do I get over flashbacks of the event when we're separated between our holiday? |
t3_19f3hu | relationships | I [M21] am in a LDR with my gf [F21], am I an asshole for dwelling on these small things? | So I'm in a LDR with my girlfriend (was 10 weeks, now only 3 more weeks left) and I love her unconditionally but I when she does something small to tick me off, I want to "punish" her in some small way, sometimes its not talking to her for a day and she always asks what's wrong and I just don't talk to her. It gets sorted out after a day or so and we go back to being normal. We talked about it when it came up during a skype session and how she feels exhausted having to think about what she says before she speaks and how she seems as if she's always being "tested" .
I don't know how to stop, because the other night I asked her to tell me a story before I sleep and she said she's too tired and I'm just like whatever, said good night and hung up. The night before I told her a long bedtime story and she fell asleep midway. Small things like this make me a little mad. It's like I want to make her feel bad for not doing something for me.
This "need" to do this has only happened after she left to go abroad for 3 months. I guess the pain of her gone makes me mad and want to make her feel bad. Like the other day, I told her I saw my ex and talked to her at the dining hall and chatted with her for 2 hours. I wanted to make her feel jealous (because she's the one that went away). Is this normal? How can I stop making every little thing she doesn't do or say a big deal. | I feel like a asshole making my gf feel bad for things she doesn't do for me. Is it normal? |
t3_4ry3g1 | relationships | my girlfriend (F,15) broke up with me (M, 17) after a month of dating. a week later she texted me, what does this mean? | She had asked how I was holding up so I said I was doing great. We had a very short conversation just catching up a little, and I made sure not to sound depressed or desperate in any way, I kept it short and kind, tried to be as welcoming as possible. She said that she had been thinking a lot about "where we are". I simply replied saying "alright. I'll see you around, don't be a stranger!" She says bye, and that was that.
It's been four days since that interaction and I'm beginning to wonder what it's significance was. She obviously went out of her way to contact me for a reason, and even went as far as to hint that she was thinking about where we were, meaning she (at that point) was not yet over the breakup entirely. Yet, it's been four days and she hasn't contacted me again.
Is she giving herself time? Does she believe that I have moved on and therefore doesn't think she should text me again? Has she moved on? Should I text her, or should I wait for her to contact me again? If she does, how should I approach it given the context that I want to get back together with her? | my ex texted me after a week, said she's been thinking about us but hasn't talked since, what's going on? |
t3_42ckm2 | relationships | Me [17M] with my friends [15-17 M/F] was visibly upset last week, nobody asked what was wrong. Feeling better but it poisoned the well to me. | I struggle with depression. I usually keep it bottled down which is a bad idea, I know. But when it comes out it usually comes out in the form of "Everyone hates you, you're just the kid everyone hangs around because you won't leave them alone, that's why they don't interact with you outside of school. Nobody cares about you." So while I was struggling with this, I was noticeably quieter, I didn't come to lunch, and I was just in general more subdued. I have friends online who noticed I was acting out-of-character by the way I was typing and talking on our voice chat, and they asked what was wrong and helped me through it. But all last week nobody asked what was wrong. Nobody. So now that I am feeling better, all I can feel in regards to my friends is just this bitterness. I am a junior and I haven't made any friends who really care about me and it just hurts. | Was visibly upset all last week, worked through it, nobody asked what was wrong at school, how can I get past the giant feeling of bitterness that I have against everyone now? |
t3_ljbzl | AskReddit | I'm in a bit of a dilemma and need advice on where to start. | Recently my parents completely invaded my privacy and went through all my stuff and found my drugs. Their reasoning was that they could "smell" my pills. I had just returned from nocturnal (a massive rave) and they were just being overly suspicious parents. We had a talk and they basically set the ground rules that I should not have drugs ever, blah blah, but they were still willing to pay for my education and I could still live at home. I'm a recreational user, I just smoke and pop on occasion when I have time and in good company.
Well recently my buddy needed to hide his weed so we talked on facebook and I agreed to hold it in my truck until he could get it back (parent issues on his end). Apparently my parents have been going on my computer while I'm at school and work and have been going through all my shit since they found my pills. Well they knew I was holding it and went into my truck and got the weed and proceeded to further yell at me and basically restrict everything and bought drug testers to test me nightly. I can't live with this shit.
I'm doing better in school than I have ever done (deans list/honor roll) and I graduate with my bachelors at the end of this year (Spring quarter). I'm just not sure I can last living here until the end of my schooling. I need help on getting out and I'm in debt to my mom because of truck repairs.
What can I start doing now to help myself get the fuck out of this situation? I can't continue living at home, but I'm broke and still in debt to my mom. I commute to school and job is local. I just need advice on anything, I'm lost on what to do... I can't stand my lack of freedom and tyrant parents, I'm worried that being stuck here is just going to affect me mentally and possibly ruin my schooling. It has ruined my social life, which was the only thing keeping me going. I want to finish school but they were paying for my classes and I can't afford them independently.
What should I do? What can I do? | Caught with drugs by parents, they ruined my social life and I'm in dept to them. How do I get out, or how can I begin the process and still afford school? |
t3_4ci052 | weddingplanning | [rant-ish] Am I the only one who hasn't dreamed about their wedding since childhood? | Background: FH and I have known each other since we were 12 and 13 years old. He proposed seven months ago, and we agreed to wait until I graduate (college) to formally plan. Graduation is a month away and the only thing I've decided on is the date (a year from now) and that we both want to elope (his parents are divorced and won't be seen in the same room together while mine are out of the picture).
Throughout the past seven months I've browsed wedding magazines, all the wedding subreddits, Off Beat Bride, A Practical Wedding, Green Wedding Shoes, pinterest, you name it, I've scoured high and low for wedding ideas, but I've never been inspired. We really just want to go to a courthouse with a photographer, then find a cool place to take pictures at, but I can't figure out my aesthetic. He doesn't love the outdoors so the beautiful mountainside/forest/beach elopements are not an option. I just want to feel beautiful and get married to the man I've known and adored for half my life and call it a day.
The only time I felt a little excited was when my best friend took me dress shopping. BUT I fell in love with a dress that wouldn't fit an elopement (I'd feel silly and overdressed, this dress is so beautiful it deserves a wedding). Even if I found a simpler gown, I can't imagine spending $1500+ on a dress I'll wear once when student loans (and imminent law school loans) are staring me in the face! | I'm uninspired while planning an elopement. Narrowing in on our couple aesthetic is impossible. Any tips to get the juices flowing, or do you have any beautiful venue ideas? |
t3_jj0gy | AskReddit | What is your defining generational history lost to time? | I will go first, I remember back in second or third grade there was a very nice well mannered janitor in my school who was very pleasant but rather quiet in his work. I personally liked him but as he was naturally quiet it would not be easy to start a conversation with him. One day he came in to our class and asked us what today is, this was 1993 or 1994. No one knew, we gave silly answers like today is Tuesday what other day would it be. Even the teacher being a generation younger really had no clue as well.
With a tear in his eye and holding back some sorrow he said today is the anniversary of Pearl Harbor. And we still did not have a clue, the teacher did a gasp and an oh but we still had not a clue. The up to then biggest day of infamy on American Soil was lost to us. I think coming around the 10th year of 9/11 and the fact that the freshman going to college were only 8 or 9 years old when it happened means that even that day will be lost in time. | When I was younger a janitor asked what day today was, it was December 7, 1993(?) and we had no clue and made him tear. I believe he was on the beaches of Normandy. |
t3_4ti59n | relationships | I [17F] have resolved to move out of my family's house and life due to my religious beliefs (or lack thereof). How do I succeed? | As the title says, I'm an 17 year old girl. I live in Ontario, Canada with my family [12-45 M and F]. They are Muslim. I am not, but they don't know.
I have been atheist since I was 15 years old, and I've been hiding it all this time. Because of my family's conservative views, I have reason to believe that I'll be disowned if they find out. I've stopped being in denial; I realize that eventually I'll have to tell them the truth, or else I'll be a housewife in an arranged marriage with a Muslim man and four kids. I really don't want that to be my life.
I will be starting university this September. Because of my parents' strict views, I don't have the option of living on campus; I'll be attending while living at home. I was never allowed a job so as of right now I'm wholly dependant on them, however I'm hoping to get a part time job this year.
In terms of living arrangements, emotional support, legal issues, etc, I have NO idea what I'm doing or what I should do. I really just need some advice. What do I need to do in order to do this successfully? | I have resolved to leave my Muslim family to live my life the way I should. What do I need to do in order to do this successfully? |
t3_3c75o1 | relationships | He [39 M] has me [36F] confused. From great time to no contact. | Dating. I dont know how to do flair.
We met online and texted and talked on the phone for a few weeks. He and I were really getting along well and we made eachother laugh alot. We have similar education and both recently out of long term realtionships.
On our first date he took me to dinner and we spent the rest of the night hanging out and getting close. It felt super to be close to somebody again.
On our second date last Friday we went out again and then back to his place. We made each other laugh, were close. And we slept together. And it felt great. I reluctantly went home that night.
He hasn't made contact with me since that day which was over a week ago. We have the same sense of humor and so much in common. I thought we liked eachothers company but then this. | We connected, went out twice, had a great time, slept together and now he hasn't called. Did I just get used and thrown away? |
t3_3uqgdq | tifu | TIFU by flipping off a teacher | Little background: my high school marching band was heading into the city for a Thanksgiving parade, and staying there overnight.
So my whole marching band was heading into the city, requiring 5 buses. All the buses left at the same time, and in the incredible traffic that is Chicago, my bus and another one pulled up next to each other. Unbeknownst to me, the band director was in the bus directly next to mine. Anyway, when you two buses full of high schoolers next to each other, it is essentially inevitable that people will flip each other off. Some of the people in the other bus (i.e. ex-girlfriend, friends) flipped me off. I responded in kind, as most people would. I was not the only one on either bus by any means, either. Unfortunately for myself, at the exact moment of my flipping off, our bus moved forward exactly enough for me to be flipping off my band director. He quite obviously thought my gesture was directed at him. We pull away, and I didn't see his reaction but apparently it was pretty bad. He gave a speech to that bus on how this was exactly the kind of behavior that would get you sent home. That night at our band dinner he came over to my table, and put his hands on my shoulders and in the most passive-aggressive sort of way, said, "How you doing, bud?" It was one of those: "you're in such deep shit right now" moments. He didn't talk to or look at me the rest of the night or the following morning, especially surprising because I'm one of his favorite students. Anyway, I'll post another update on Monday when I'll probably know more. Wish me luck. | Flipped my band director off when two buses pulled up next to each other. Hasn't spoken to me since. |
t3_1s2tte | relationships | Me [26 M] with my girlfriend [24 F] duration, difficult to get her to articulate her thoughts and feelings during any kind of disagreement. (6 months) | Young professional here dating 24/F professional in the public sector. She is charming, has a big presence and is very articulate.
In the presence of any kind of disagreement she basically completely shuts down. I'll ask her to articulate how she feels, and she will nod, and then not speak. That not speaking might last for hours, she may never address her feelings. How can I facilitate a space and pattern of behavior that helps her grow in her ability to express what she is thinking? Typically our disagreements aren't even combative, I think she is very sensitive to how her words are taken and often chooses to not say anything over saying something that could be even like... marginally unpleasant for someone else to hear. It's a big disconnect from her professional life where she is responsible for many people and even fires employees. | Big personality here, trying to learn if the quiet nature of my SO in a disagreement is a recipe for disaster, or if I could help her learn to express herself. |
t3_3ble23 | tifu | TIFU by saving my computer work too often | I am doing a school assessment which is worth a magical number on my end-of-year report, and this happens to be in the class I find most important for my future studies - Digital Technology. Shout out to the teacher who caused me to FU and lose 2 weeks worth of work.
Lets cut to the story:
So the lights werent working in the class, but we all pretended like its not a problem. I was working on my massive word document as usual, documenting all the testing I was doing. I managed to get my single document over 20MB surprisingly. Another teacher walked in after the origional teacher (we had a substitute teacher this day) had flagged a ticket to the office on her computer. This teacher told us we had to move to a different IT lab as the lights werent working. A couple moans later the teacher opens the circuit board and flips a few switches. Now i decided to save my document as the title suggests, I saved TOO OFTEN. Mind you, a 20MB document can take a few seconds to save.
While i watch the small green bar in the bottom count up as it saves, the screen went black. The smart teacher thought flipping all the switches down might turn on all the lights. We moved to the new IT lab and i signed in, and word could not open my document. Huge rage later and many lost hours, Im probably going to fail my assignment.
Every programmer knows that the file stream opened, the file deleted itsself and rewrote the whole thing, but was interrupted. I guess its partly my fault for not taking a backup, but I had faith in my school network infrustructure and the simple deed of flipping a switch really ruined my day.
The school system is strict, I cannot be given additional time. I am currently sitting at home panicking. I spent over 2 weeks of busy writing and now i have less than 3 days to hand it in. | Saved my document right as a teacher flipped the circuit breaker. Corrupted the file containing my assessment that there isnt enough time to redo. |
t3_3u0if4 | relationships | Me [22/M] and my girlfriend [20/F] broke up but I want to get back together | I'll try to keep this short, and I'll elaborate on things if people ask.
Basically, I met a really nice girl on a dating website, we went out, we enjoyed each others company and we started dating for a while. We dated for about 6 months, and then I mentioned that I found it more attractive that she was bi-sexual. We were talking about it, and she found it very offensive that her sexuality made her seem more attractive to me. I explained to her that this doesn't *really* make me like her more, I just wanted to feel better about herself. This in addition to another comment I made, ended up in us breaking up.
We did not talk for about a month or two, and then on my birthday, she shows up at my house and apologized for the way things ended. We hugged it out, and then one thing turned into another, and we had sex again.
We've been talking a lot more now, we don't see each other a lot, but when we do, it leads to sex. I want to get back together with her, but she seems really hesitant to even talk to me about this stuff. I also don't know if my mind is clouded by sex, and I'm not sure if I should continue to persue her, or if I should move on. I still have strong feelings for her at the end of the day. What should I do? | My ex and I are sleeping with each other again, and I want to get back together with her but she does not, what do? |
t3_37r2ds | tifu | TIFU by telling half the SVPs at my company "I Love You" | I work in IT and I got an email on my phone from one of our locations having issues with a printer. They sent it to the wrong group, which about 4 SVPs were a member of, but I figured I would help them out anyway. So, I opened it up so I could reply with the fix. At that time my wife texted me saying that maintenance came by and fixed our AC and said I love you. So, I type Love you too and hit send. Then I noticed I had a new email which said "Love you too." I had replied all the the email rather than the text. Red faced and panicked, I started to try to recall the message. But before I could get to it, someone had already responded. One of the SVPs had replied back "Love you too!!" After reading that, I went from panicked to laughing so hard I was crying. | Thought I replied to text, but emailed I love you to half the SVPs at my company. Freaked out, then everyone laughed. |
t3_4uufum | legaladvice | CA Unruly children in Apartment complex | I live in a two story, fourteen unit apartment complex. There are a number of children that live here. There specifically are two unruly, unsupervised children that run amok and are amazingly destructive (they've sharpied their names on doors and stucco, destroyed a palm tree and shredded the green privacy screen on the chain link fences and have broken the window twice in the laundry room).
Their favourite past time is running across the narrow four foot walk path up stairs. If they're not running up here, they're roller blading or scootering, they sound like a herd of tiny elephants when they run up here. Several of us who live up here has asked the kids politely to stop running/roller blading/ scootering up here. We have made their mother aware and also the property management company. All of whom have done jack to stop the kids. This ruins our quiet enjoyment of our apartment.
My primary concern is that the kids will trip and hurt themselves on the cemented in-wall air conditioners that stick out about 16" (comes with the the apartment) or any number of the chairs or planters that some of us have out.
My question is who would be held liable if the kids were to trip on my chairs or one of air conditioners? I don't have renters insurance yet (which I've been comparison shopping because of this and will be acquiring this week), but if they were to trip and injure themselves on my personal property, would it be covered under my renters insurance? | Destructive demon spawn in my apartment complex are largely unsupervised and I'm terrified they will hurt themselves on my personal property and want to know if I could be held liable. |
t3_1hacus | pettyrevenge | The Arrogant Asshole | I'm in high school and have chemistry and English class with one of the most annoying people I have ever met. He is incredibly arrogant and strives to be correct and tell everybody off for not knowing something. Therefore, he has few friends, he sits next to me in Chemistry although his presence doesn't really bother me. He makes a few stupid jokes now and then but I usually put up with him to sit next to my friend on the right.
One day, the asshole in double Chemistry seems to have nothing to do, he isn't paying attention in class and his cringe worthy jokes are dying down. He sees a opportunity to have some fun by pissing me off, I generally just smile and don't give a shit when he talks to me but for some reason he began headbutting my bicep. I didn't do anything to provoke him but I knew he just wanted a reaction.
A brilliant idea came to mind and I simply lifted my arm off the desk before his next headbutt and he smashed his head into my elbow. It made a dull thud and he winced in pain, grasping his head as he realized that he had really brought it upon himself. It felt great to hear that noise...people around me saw and laughed. | Purely arrogant asshole begins headbutting my arm to piss me off, I lift it to give him the pain of hitting my elbow and classmates laugh at him. |
t3_47h9nt | relationships | Having family dynamic issues with my [26 F] dad [ 52 M] and his girlfriend [48 F], how can his ever work? | Basically, my dad cheated on my mom through many years of their relationship and they finally divorced after he left her for a woman, let's call her Kate in 2014.
Almost two years down the road my dad and Kate are still together and he often expresses how badly he wants myself and my sister [18 F] to have a closer relationship with them. He says he isn't interested in marriage, though it appears otherwise, and wants us all to basically be a close knit family.
My sister and I disagree very much. In our eyes she is the woman who had a hand in breaking our moms heart. We don't respect her, we feel like we would be betraying our mom by getting close to her, and my dads cheating has left me with a lot of self confidence issues in my own marriage that I just want to stay far away as possible from.
I don't want her to be a "grandmother" to my kids. I don't want to listen to apologies from her because I think the fact she willingly went along cheating with my dad for years says a lot more about her than any apology she could give.
My dad is at his wits end with my sister and I and he outright says he is miserable. He's always wanted a large close knit family, which we were when he was married to my mom. We don't want to see him unhappy but genuinely can't imagine tolerating this woman in our lives. He doesn't see our point of view and is basically upset that things didn't go his way.
Are my sister and I in the wrong? We don't feel this way about my moms new boyfriend, and we genuinely feel it's all the baggage attached to my dads girlfriend that pushes us away. We are stressed and don't know how to handle this. | dad cheated on mom and now wants my sister and I to have a close relationship with a woman we can't imagine in our lives. Are we in the wrong and how can we go forward from here? |
t3_3vaala | relationships | I [29F] have a crush on my roommate [28M] | I feel so dumb about this. I have a big crush on my roommate and I'm not sure if I should tell him because I am 95% sure these feelings aren't reciprocated.
A little about him: he's only had one serious relationship that ended about seven years ago and hasn't gone on a date with anyone since. He's kinda resigned to being a lifelong bachelor. He has low self esteem, even though he's super smart and funny and pretty handsome imo.
But I also have low self esteem. I've also only been in one serious relationship that ended about a year and a half ago. It really destroyed me because I had an abusive upbringing and I thought I found someonev who really loved me for who I was. Turns out I was wrong. He also came out as bi shortly after the breakup and the way he did it just made me feel like I was his beard for seven years. So my self esteem is in the toilet.
Anyway, about five months ago I had a sex dream about my roommate. We've been friends for four years and roomies for almost two. The dream turned into a crush, which I thought I would just get over. But I didn't. It's only gotten worse and it's really exacerbating my depression. Moving out is not an option, unfortunately. And I like living with him, it just makes it hard to get over this crush.
I'm pretty sure he doesn't like me back. We get along, we're good friends, we have good banter, sometimes it when feels flirty? But I'm not his type, and he has no interest in dating. But it's the little glimmers of hope our just me reading too much into situations that I can't let go of.
I sort of just want to tell him how I feel, whether I get rejected or not. I think I need to get it out of my system. I don't think he would treat me any differently, he's too nice for that, but I think I would feel fatally embarrassed and I have to live with him for the foreseeable future. I've been a member of /r/relationships for a long time so I'm looking forward to your advice. | Have crush on roommate, pretty sure he doesn't feel the same. Should I tell him how I feel anyway? Or please give me advice on how to get over it without moving out. |
t3_2qdruz | relationships | Me [20F] was dumped by my [24M] bf of almost 2years on xmas eve, he had a point, how do I get over it and move on | Last night whill over his house to celebrate Christmas with his family my now ex boyfriend broke up with me. We had been fighting a lot recently and it is in part due to me, in November I had found out he had messaged other girls throughout our relationship and hit on them/told them he fantasized about having sex with them etc.
He was also a k2 addict and it was a habit I didn't like so those two things were a constant issues. Things had gotten better until 3 weeks ago when we practically started fighting every day because he started to act like he didn't give a fuck and even though he said he loved me his actions and the way he would speak to me would say otherwise.
I know he was right to end it and it does hurt because despite it all we had great chemistry and personality wise aside from the above issues we clicked, physically as well. I would work on my insecurities etc if he would come back to me. | boyfriend broke up with me due to constant arguing, we both had fair points. I messed up and I would change for him but I seems like there is no hope of him coming back to me. |
t3_1q3fu0 | relationships | Me [27 M] with my Girlfriend [22 F] 4 months, GF tries to justify a 1 on 1 dinner date with another male. | So my GF tells me she is going to get Sushi, I ask with who? She
says with an individual from Church, a male.
This bothered me...
She said this individual was randomly assigned to her through her
youth leadership group and its strictly
plutonic. Apparently this is a weekly thing with each member of the
group, the purpose of this dinner
is to get to know each individual in their youth church leadership
group so they can be closer as a
group. My GF has been nothing but trusting, volunteered this
information, and told me of course its strictly plutonic.
Why do I feel like an asshole for being jealous? Should I be jealous? My brother had said, this sounds like she is manipulating me into feeling guilty about her semi-dating another guy, and this will allow me not to get mad, since I was told about it.
Also, these groups meet quite frequently, to me this seems
unnecessary in order to get to know someone on a personal level? Can I tell her I do not want her to go? I feel like this
would make me look weak?
Also isn't the setting a bit strange?
I know myself, and I know I am jealous person, but this just doesn't feel right to me,
Any advice is much appreciated! | GF is going on a 1on1 dinner date with another individual, for plutonic reasons, i feel uncomfortable with it. |
t3_18at9g | relationship_advice | [M/22] Been single for 4 years, friend zoned by every girl i have any kind of intimacy for. | So i feel silly asking these types of questions but it has come to a point where i feel i have a tattoo on my forehead that reads "undateable". I try to flirt and be nice with women that i find cute and it gets me their number but it always ends with "i just want to be friends". I want something more than just dating or having one night stands but i couldn't even get that. Should i try and stop being such a "nice guy". Am i just not finding or trying with enough girls? Is this just a side affect of dating? | can't find anyone even willing to go out on a date, whats some suggestions you have for dating, relationships for a "nice guy" |
t3_2lkps2 | relationships | Me [22M] with my [21F] i visited her at college this weekend and ever since i came home she has been acting weird texting. Im so confused | So i visited the girl that i have been talking to this weekend at her college. We have been talking for a little over 4 months. I've visited her at college 3 times now since she has left for fall semester. Everything was fine when i left on Sunday night.
I texted her on Monday and she just wasn't texting like she normally did. it wasn't one word answers but it wasn't like she was interested in keeping the conversation. So the same thing starting happening Tuesday so i called her to see what was up, she said everything was fine. So i thought that was that but she is still doing the same thing as Wednesday and Thursday. I don't know what to do. I think I'm going to try and not text her this weekend and see what happens. I don't know if i'm just overthinking things because i tend to do that, or if something is actually wrong. | Visited her at college this past weekend. ever since i came back she has been acting weird through texting. What should i do? |
t3_1rz5re | relationships | How should I [33 M] propose "housemates with benefits" to my returning housemate [30 F] | I have a house and from time to time have taken on housemates - usually just friends, but a few years ago I needed the dough so I starting renting to strangers via CL.
One of them was here for about a year and a half and moved out a year ago. She recently contacted me as she's moving back to the area and needs a place to stay, and moving back in has a bunch of advantages (can move in soon/no application; convenient location for her for various reasons).
She was a good renter and we left on good terms, however I'm not that interested in any housemate at this time, but I think her current living situation isn't great so part of me wants to be of help.
I'm considering proposing that she move in for nominal rent plus a "housemates with benefits" situation.
We're both adults, both single. This would be set up as a short term thing - for 3 or 4 months (that's as long as I would want a housemate at this time).
We got along fine as housemates, though there was never any thing that happened between us sex/relationship wise, as we both had SO's during the time we were housemates.
I find her attractive but wouldn't want to date her. I have no sense from her end if she considers me attractive. No idea what she'd think of this, though she's pretty open minded.
So, how do I propose this? | Old housemate wants to move back in - I'm down if she is (if ya catch my drift), but how do I propose that? |
t3_10fhko | relationship_advice | How to approach her, when I know her, but she doesn't know me? | Alright, a little bit of background:
A few weeks ago, I went out with a few of my friends for lunch and one of them, we'll call her "Joan", mentioned one of her friends will go to the same university as me in the fall (currently). I thought, "Cool, more people for me to meet in college!" She showed me her picture on Facebook and I said, "She looks cute, you should introduce her to me one day." We'll call the girl "Stephanie". Me and Joan have been friends for awhile and I knew that she was trying to get me and Stephanie to go out.
When college first began, I rarely saw her around campus and thought to myself, "Meh, oh well." The second week, I noticed her sitting by herself and thought to myself, "Wait, isn't that Joan's friend?" I wanted to confront her about it, but I thought it would be weird if I told her about Joan telling me who she was, so I told Joan about it. She said she will try to talk to her about me.
But around the third week, I started seeing her around campus and around my usual hangout spots (the cafeteria, the main campus area, etc.) I thought to myself, "Shit, wow, I'm seeing her everywhere and I know who she is, but she doesn't know who i am."
So what am I going to do about this? I'm not particularly fond of making introductions unless we share a common interest, class, or friend (none of which apply as of right now, since Joan still hasn't brought me up). I also realize that this girl is definitely more my type and in my league, so I wouldn't mind getting to know her. If I confront Joan about this and ask her, would that cause me to sound desperate? | Friend brings up other friend, wants me to hook up with her, sees other friend everywhere in college, she doesn't know who I am. |
t3_1n11cx | legaladvice | (Quebec) Received a letter from a lawyer on behalf of my VISA account reclaiming debt | Location: Montreal, Canada
First of all, I will admit I was an irresponsible young person using credit card as if it was disposable income. Now I am paying for it.
I have a credit card debt with VISA Desjardins of roughly around $7500. Currently, I am out of the country for a volunteer job in South East Asia so I have my parents opening my mails for me. How I got onto this trip is purely gift money and through fundraising.
I received a letter from a lawyer last week on behalf of VISA Desjardins asking for the minimum sum of $5500 immediately. The thing is: I have nowhere near that amount to give them and neither do my parents. There is zero way for me to send a certified mail to delay this nor can I afford a lawyer who can help me out. The lawyer won't budge for a lower amount or delaying until my return (in December).
What are my options? I really just can't afford to pay them back, I go back to Quebec in December and had already planned on getting my financial situation better until the letter arrived. This is just awful timing considering how eager I was to get my shit together. | I was stupid with my credit card, got a letter sent from lawyer reclaiming the full amount, can't do much due to lack of money and being outside the country until December. |
t3_3fa5fe | relationships | Me [20M] with my GF [20F] of 2yrs, I want to break up but she lives in the same accommodation as me, Help? | In the first year of our relationship everything was great like it should be. We had very different backgrounds, likes and interests. In second year these became more apparent for both of us but she wasn't phased where was.
We broke up at the start of the second year for a week because her family didn't like me, trouble was that I was living with her and a group of friends through the second year so we soon started up again.
Around Easter in the second year I felt like we weren't what we used to be, we weren't progressing and we just argued all the time so I called it. We broke up for 3 weeks and then she start to text really depressing texts like "Its the ones you love the most that hurt you most of all". Guilt got the better of me and we ended up together again.
Now its the summer, we have discussed how we both don't feel like we are together and are more of friends instead. I man up and tell her everything, that I want use to be friends, I don't have feelings like that anymore, I love her but I'm not in love with her. She now is pissed and is coming this weekend so we can discusses it out together.
My decision is set in stone but I feel disgusting and guilty, even though this is what I want I just can't stand to see her hurt and have a broken heart. I'm not a monster,I still care about her but I do have the right to my own feelings.
Just wanting some advice really. Thanks | Want to break up but feel to guilty, feelings are not the same but we live togther... What do I do?. |
t3_1lfiab | Advice | Yet again another guy asking for social advice (help...) | I couldn't find the right subreddit to make this post but this is as close to what i could find so here it is. Im going to make this nice and quick and not waste too much of anyones time. I am 21 year old student in university and it's very hard for me to socialize with others, it's not totally bad i can talk to others about school/work and anything in those lines but can never talk about anything other then that. I see people talk to each other with ease and have a flow to a conversation. I can never do that... I have trouble trying to think of a topic and keep a conversation going. Im too nervous to approach other class students and too nervous to try to join a club. A new semester just started and I see other students meeting and making friends for the first time in class but I just can't do it. Too nervous and anxiety issues. I'm good when talking about class, professors or other school/work related topics but never get into that hey what kind of movies you like? hey wanna go grab something to eat after this class? I dress confidently and keep my appearance clean (no smoking, drugs, drinking) as i read that it helps but im still kinda in my own shell too afraid to step out. One reason might be that im a bit scared of making an awkward situation and doing something that might make everyone go "ewww what you doing...". i.e. going up to a girl in my class to say Hi. she might not be nice and make fun of me and then im standing there looking all awkward and weird. | can't socialize with others, only topics talk about are "Hey was the hw hard?" or "this prof sucks" can't take it to the next step and make friends and hang out. |
t3_3ofe8i | relationships | I [F22] gave my ex [M21] oral-to-genital herpes a year ago. We since broke up. Should I bring it up with my current partner? | So I dated my ex-boyfriend for two years in college. Since I was like 13 I'd very occasionally (like once a year *maybe*) have cold sores on my lip. Through some super-shitty stroke of non-luck, I managed to give my ex-boyfriend genital herpes (HSV1) via going down on him. (I didn't have an active cold sore at the time cus I'm not an idiot, but had had one recently, during which we didn't have contact).
It almost destroyed our relationship - I was completely distraught and felt horrifically guilty for not somehow having taken some extra precaution. He was also fucking destroyed and felt like it was a death sentence on his sex life forever. We stayed together for another year though and recently broke up. He never had any other outbreaks. I haven't had any cold sores since.
The problem arises now - been on some dates with a guy and things are heating up. I guess my question is two-fold: **1)** should I talk to guys about the possibility of this happening? Would you??? I feel like people who have had cold sores generally don't bring it up the way one would a genital STI so it almost seems unnecessary, but it *has* happened to me so what now? And if I do decide I want to warn guys of the slight possibility, **2)** how do I do so without implying that I gave my last boyfriend herpes? Not for my sake but his - he was very adamant that no one ever know that I gave it to him, and our circles have drifted apart but are still close enough that the dots could be connected quite easily. | gave ex-boyfriend herpes. Do I bring it up with future partners, and if so, how do I do it in a way that doesn't imply ex-boyfriend has it...? |
t3_2yf2e1 | relationships | I, a [18F] high schooler, don't know if I am overreacting at my college freshmen [18F] and [19F] friends about how they "ditched" me at some college party | So I'm a high school senior and I went to my friends' college to stay for my birthday weekend. The three of us (me, Mina, and Kate) have grown up together - they are both a year older than me and came to the hospital when I was born, we are basically sisters. Anyway I told them beforehand that I would not be participating in any drinking/smoking whatever and they said that it was fine, but they probably would a little bit, which i was fine with as long as no one pressured me. So Friday night rolls around and Mina and Kate take me to a party at some of their guy friends' off campus apartment. It seemed pretty chill until MAJOR DRINKING started happening. I was a little shocked but nothing out of the ordinary for college students (I presume). Anyway, long story short, Mina and Kate ended up getting so drunk that they couldn't go home, so some random guys noticed me starting to panic because I didn't know how to get back to Mina's dorm and they were nice enough to walk me back and buy me some dinner.
Basically during the whole party Mina and Kate got caught up in the drinking and essentially ditched me from 8 pm - 3 am, at which point those random guys walked me back to the dorm. I am upset because they left me alone in a place that I didn't know and with people I didn't know, and they didn't really care to hang out with me on what was my birthday weekend - they were more focused on partying. I am not mad that they were drunk or anything, I was just mad that I was kinda dumped in a corner for the whole night.
Am i overreacting? | college friends ditched high school me at a party where everyone was drunk. Got walked home by some strangers and my friends never apologized |
t3_49nhl2 | relationships | Me [18M] girlfriend of [17F] dating for a year, she hates herself? | My girlfriend have been dating for a year. We love each other very much. However, I am very unsure as to why she would sometimes become annoyed over things that I would consider not worth getting annoyed over.
For example, About 2 weeks ago I remember telling her I liked a friend of hers in year 7. Yes, year 7. She got so angry and annoyed to the point of nearly leaving me, saying 'I hate you' and 'You make me feel shit'. Well, the past is the past, and now we've kinda made up.
However, just an hour ago we were in a skype call with each other. Everything was just normal and all until she started crying.
She said, "I'm so ugly, I hate myself".
Of course, I asked her why and reassured my love for her (hehe). However, she was sad to the point of crying, it made me feel so bad. I didn't know what to do. Then she ended the call saying she didn't feel like calling me anymore.
She then messaged me: "hate myself, this is why i would sometimes question u, cos idk why u wuld stay with someone like me"
Someone please help me, I have no idea why she is so sad and why she hates herself so much. I love her very much and I would cry myself to death if I were to lose her. | I love my girlfriend, however, she hates herself and gets sad very often. She constantly wonders about the reason why I chose her. Please help, I love her very much :( |
t3_3uz5ih | relationships | Me [20 M] with my LDR GF [19F] of a couple months, wants to call me all the time. | I am not always busy, but I do need my alone time especially during the last few weeks of school where I am really stressed. My GF is stressed about school and also our relationship and wants to call everyday. I feel obligated to call everyday because lately she has said that she doesn't feel loved.
We live 1-2 hours apart and I visit her whenever I can, I send gifts, etc. I am not doing sweet things 24/7 but I would say I am above average.
Ive told her directly that just because we can't talk everyday doesn't mean I don't love her. She was still a little hurt by me saying this. Is there another way to communicate that I love her but that my success at school important for both our futures as well? | She want's to talk everyday, I am busy with school. She is hurt that I can't. How do I relay what I want without hurting her? |
t3_2srmel | relationships | 21M, my gf (22) of six months saw something | Everything seemed to be going great until last night. I was going to show her a picture, and we both saw that I had saved a pic from gonewild in my gallery. She just got back from a trip of three weeks and while she was gone I have been masturbating to pics on gw as well as watching porn. Reasonably she is upset, I completely understand why she would be. But now that brings up a different issue. The more and more I think about it the more I feel that I am addicted to masturbating and pornography.
I truly love this girl. And this new development is leaving me feeling like a disgusting human being.... I can't believe I could hurt her so much. And now the possibility that this could be the end is killing me... | I had a pic from gone wild on my phone and now I realized that I have an addiction and I might be single soon. |
t3_3xrqtz | jobs | Looking to possibly find a job outside of my degree. Not sure what I should pursue. | My current internship is unpaid but it's at a good company. However the problem is they want me to learn how to do something mainly because I live close by. I want to do it but it's really complicated and could take a long time to learn. I don't know if I really have that kind of time with bills and all.
What I enjoy doing is video editing but it seems assistant video editors have to have almost 5-10 years experience in the industry to be assistant editors. The one that was recently hired is 34 years old.
I am currently 26 but still have a lot of bills to pay plus aging parents that have increasing medical costs because of their age.
I have a degree in film in video and have studied Film producing which involves pre-production, budgeting, and the like in terms of school projects.
I have had two internships where I did both physical production with cameras and post production with different types of video editing software.
I really like computers and really enjoyed doing video editing.
But because the whole "Do what you love" thing doesn't pay the bills anymore I need to find something that I can do with the skills I have.
I know I don't want to do sales, I am bad at it, I have anxiety about it and I spend more time trying to help someone than sell them something for commission.
I'd like to do something maybe administrative or computer related but I just don't know what I can do with my current skill set where someone will actually pay me.
I live in Chicago is that makes any difference for this post. | Experienced in video production/post production looking for a way use my skills for a more desirable job without going back to school. I live in Chicago |
t3_10b2kx | AskReddit | What subreddit did you subscribe to that totally changed your view on a subject? | I unsubscribed from /r/atheism and subscribed to /r/islam and /r/Christianity even though I am neither Muslim nor Christian. What I found was a very supportive community of believers, who were leaning on each other to figure out how to lives their lives according to their understanding of their faiths. It is actually kind of nice to read their posts, very human. It was very eye opening.
The saddest part however is that I noticed something in /r/islam , I noticed that the moderates feel like they can't talk much about their faith because of fear of being mocked by people who are very anti-islam. Recently there was a moderate Islamic scholar who was planning to do an IAMA, and many people felt he shouldn't because of how he would be mocked by anti-religious trolls. Then it dawned on me, the single most unifying factor for the Muslim community right now is the attacks on their faith and character by anti-Islamic voices. A post this morning was lamenting the fact that far more Muslims show up to these movie and cartoon protests than show up to the mosque for morning prayers.
So these people who denounce Islam and do things like create purposefully insulting images of the Prophet are actually in some ways creating the very problem they think they are addressing. They are unifying the Muslim community in defiance to their insults.
The moderates now feel attacked and are quiet for fear they will be mocked and ridiculed, and the extremists feel legitimized in their calls for holy war because the attacks keep coming no matter what. | I subscribed to /r/islam and /r/Christianity even though I am neither Christian nor Mulism and it was eye-opening. |
t3_1xp4m0 | relationships | Need advice ! Am i making a mistake ? | Me (m20) and my girlfriend (f21) are having a threesome tonight with my best friend (m21) . It was my idea from the ground up and we have a really trusting relationship and we have a great sex life . Allthough thismorning i feel as if my gf and my best friend are more eager than me now although they were kinda unsure to begin with . Im worried now that i get jealous of what he does to her and if she secretly enjoys it more i notice their exitement for it and find myself now dreading it . Is this just nerves or a big mistake ? Not looking for solid answers just some advice maybe ? | threesome arranged for tonight , is it good or bad to want to cancel it ? And should i before its too late |
t3_2t1bjv | relationships | I (18/M) am falling for my friend (18/F) of 3 weeks. | Hey. This is basically a much cleaner repost of an earlier discussion.
Basically, I am falling for my friend of three weeks or so now, and she's taken. I'm not going to try to undermine their relationship. She's very happy in it, and I'm glad for her.
But the feelings came out of nowhere. Any time I'm with her, I get these feelings. The butterflies and whatnot.
But I don't want them.
So, I'm thinking of distancing myself until the feelings go away. However, she has extreme separation anxiety. (I underplayed it in the last post, my apologies any return viewers.)
Down to the point. Do I tell her the truth about why I'm distancing myself, or just try and wait for things to go away? Is there another option? | She's taken. I'm happy for her. I don't want these feelings. I'd distance myself, but she has extreme separation anxiety. Do I come clean as to why I'm leaving, or push through it all? |
t3_engom | AskReddit | Workmate offered me lifts to home since last October; today he asked me for fuel money. Advice? | Hi Reddit
Last October I was speaking to two of my mates (let's call them A and B) and I mentioned that I live in an area. "A" had been dropping me off on his way home in an area 1/2 hour away. I think that it was him suggested that I go with B since he lived just a street away. I asked "B" and he said yes. Back then I didn't notice any hesitation in his voice (personally I don't think there was, but retrospect there could have been).
I started having lifts back from work with "B" instead of "A", only hitching a lift with A when either B wasn't going home or didn't come in. Sometimes B didn't come with his car, citing that it guzzles petrol.
Today "B" dropped the bomb and asked me for money for petrol on our way back. It was a small amount, about 7 liters' worth, but he did rant that he has to pay for everything in the car from maintainance to fuel. I gave him some of the money and I plan to give him the rest tomorrow.
This is a dilemma. Back when he offered (at least I think he offered, now I'm not sure), he didn't mention any money. This guy lives a street away so he doesn't go out of his way to give me a lift. He did go out of his way whenever someone else hitched a lift as well, but they were one-offs. Whenever he wanted to run errands after work I have him the space he needed and I either left with A or used the public transport system. | I'm hitching a lift from work with a guy who lives a street away from me. Today he asked me for money. |
t3_2u1si3 | relationships | [19f] I Got in a Fight with my Neighbor [40?f] | I was sitting on your balcony and my little brother [5m] was playing in the backyard and his ball thing went over the fence, he went into the neighbors yard to get it. The woman who lives there grabbed him by the arm and smacked him in the face, I saw this happen and I went over there right away to confront her. We were talking and she tried justifying it and said that he shouldn't have been in her yard in the first place, and I was soo angry that she tried excusing what she did that I ended up slapping her in the face, and she threatened to call the police on me for "trespassing and assaulting her".
I'm extremely nervous and I have no idea what to do, should I tell my parents? should I go talk to her? I'm not a violent person at all and I'ce never got in any sort of trouble. She grabbed his arm and squeezed it so hard that he had red marks along his arm, and I was just sooo pissed at her. I'm kind of scared about if she gets police involved, or even assaults me or something, she's huge and I'm very small. I told my little brother not to tell our parents what happened and he hasn't yet but I don't know if he will or not eventually. What's your opinion? Do you think what she did was justified? Was what I did justified? What would you have done/do now? In this situation | I got in a fight with my neighbor over her grabbing and smacking my little brother for getting his ball from her yard. I slapped the neighbor and she threatened to get police involved. |
t3_2ck473 | relationships | Me [23M] with my ex-wife[22F] divorced for 9 months, keeps involving herself in my life. | Okay, so I have an exwife that likes to stick her nose in things that are none of her business. Whether that be my new relationship, my twitter account, my reputation, anything.
The other day, my new girlfriend of a week (I told her how spiteful and crazy she was beforehand) went in to prepay for gas at her work. She started trying to piss her off by "fucking" with her as she was trying to pay for her gas. I wasn't there, don't know what all was said, but she knew that it was my ex-wife and she was being rude and disrespectful as always. The new girlfriend is not immature to that point, and she has no issue with her.
I have tried talking to this broad. Nothing works, and I don't put myself in her life, and she shouldn't be putting herself in mine. We haven't yet had or discussion after the divorce. She's super spiteful and wished I got AIDS and died. That's the kind of person I am dealing with.
My question is that at what point do I go in to her work and put her shit on blast? | ex-wife is batshit cray cray and starting to mess with my current new relationship. Where is the line? |
t3_2a1mkj | relationships | BF [28M] broke up with me [23F] and I am taking it really hard. | We have a messy past and had an intimate relationship about 3-4 years ago. He cheated on his ex with me. Finally, this year we began an honest relationship with each other. We went on vacation together, did fun activities, and I thought things were okay.
Prior to vacation a few weeks ago, I had surgery which messed up my hormones. Last week I was easily irritated due to this. We had a few days where we bickered, but in my mind this was just a hump we had to get over. We did get into a "fight" because we had plans to spend the weekend together where I was house-sitting and due to a miscommunication, he made plans on one of the days to hang out with his friend. I was hurt because I have a child from a precious relationship and Friday and Saturday were my only days kid free. He didn't seem to care about this.
He broke up with me on 4th of July on my kid free day, so I spent my weekend mostly crying by myself. We spoke on Saturday and he explained that it was a lot of little things and that we had communication problems and he didn't think either of us was getting what we needed from the relationship. What made it worse was how calmly we discussed it. We spoke in person and embraced/kissed and I think the fact that I don't hate him makes this worse.
I have my kid 5 days a week now(we are looking for a daycare now), so I feel like I don't have a lot of time to grieve the loss of the relationship
Additionally, I am still grieving the loss of a parent, which makes this an even sadder time for me.
I am somewhat obsessive, though not outwardly. I won't text him unless necessary (dropping off his stuff), but I seriously think about him all day and everything reminds me of him. I don't know what to do. I don't know what will make me feel better. I generally have a tendency to do something self destructive or disappear somewhere in times like this, but obviously I have a child, so this isn't an option. | I'm overwhelmed from this breakup and don't have a lot of time to lay in bed and cry all day long or even do activities alone. How can I cope with this in a healthy manner? |
t3_w9mon | dating_advice | Friends with girl on Facebook from High School not friends outside of Facebook how do I ask her out? | So the title pretty much says it. I'm 25(m) and I've had this girl on my facebook for I don't know how long since High School. You know how that goes: ADD EVERYONE FROM HIGH SCHOOL! I honestly don't remember ever talking to her in school and have just recently started to notice and liking facebook posts from her. I've commented on a few of her posts with some jokes and she's "liked" pretty much all of them. Recently she commented on one of my posts asking a question of where I'm moving to. I'd like to ask her out for coffee sometime, but don't know where to start. She has her number on facebook but that just screams CREEP to me. Is this as simple as sending her a message **on Facebook not by phone** asking "Hey, do you want to get coffee sometime?" | Friends" with girl from High School on facebook would like to ask her out, but don't have offline connection (didn't really talk in High School, to my memory) |
t3_2fzdlk | relationships | I [23 M] asked out my friend [22 F] tonight, not sure how to take her response | We've been friends for a while, and have only gotten closer as time goes by. Yadda-yadda-yadda. I like being around her, talking to her, etc. And she is constantly initiating conversation with me, inviting me to things, offering to help me out, saying how funny she thinks I am, etc.
So earlier tonight, it was storming heavily and she volunteered to drive me home (I don't have a car right now, but should be getting one shortly, but that's a different story). On the way, I asked her if she'd want to go to dinner sometime. She smiled.
She: Maybe.
Me: How maybe?
She: Well, I'm kinda interested in a couple people right now. You know me; you know I'm crazy. So I'll have to let you know.
And we parted cordially shortly afterwards (we had arrived at my apartment), and she asked when I worked next.
My amateur analysis is that she was definitely interested, if at least on some level, and flattered. But part of me wonders if she was just being polite so she didn't have to say, "No." And another part speculates that she's keeping me on the line just in case no better offer comes along. | She said she may be into it, happily at least. But what are the odds I'm getting the short end of the ask-out stick again? |
t3_2lo8lr | relationships | Me [25 M] with my ex [23 F] are living together and I'm really unhappy. | My ex-girlfriend and I live together. We broke up two weeks ago from tomorrow (October 26th). When we broke up, she asked me if she could continue living here for a while until she found a new place. I told her that was fine. Seeing her face kills me. Multiple times since then, I have broken down and tried to convince her to give me another chance. All I hear is that it's too late. My feelings, my emotions, my future, everything feels destroyed.
She keeps seeing this other guy. She met him roughly two weeks before we broke up. She doesn't bring him to our apartment, instead she hangs out with him at his place. We broke up less than 2 weeks ago, and she's already stayed the night at his house multiple times. She tries to swear there isn't anything going on between them two, but I don't know what to think. She just says she is trying to stay away from me to help me.
We got in an argument a few days ago. It was mainly just the same old stuff. I was trying to talk about another chance for us, but she was saying she just wanted me to move on. During the argument, I let it slip that I didn't want her to move on away from me. I mainly just meant that I didn't want to lose her. She called me incredibly selfish for not wanting her to be happy.
Last night, when I found out she was staying the night at this guy's apartment again, I got really upset and told her she had one week to get her stuff and move out. Again, I was called selfish.
I guess my biggest question is: is it wrong for me to tell her she has to move out of the apartment? She paid half to the rent with me on November 1st. I told her I'll give her some of the rent money back when she leaves. I feel like she is expecting me to just sit back and watch her move on with this new guy. It's crushing me. But I still want to come out of this as a bigger person, as a person who handled a terrible situation correctly. | Ex-girlfriend breaks up with me, but still lives with me. She's moving on while staying at my apartment and it's breaking my heart. Is it wrong for me to tell her she has to move out? |
t3_2krg2s | relationships | I am a [23 M] and recently found out that my[22 F] girlfriend has had sex with way more people than I'd like to admit... | My gf has only had 3 other serious relationships, but has had sex with 14 different guys. I on the other hand, have had 2 other serious relationships and have had sex with 4 different girls.
I know it shouldn't be a big deal, but it just gives me a shitty feeling, when I think about it. My mind automatically pictures some dude fucking her, and I'm like "yep...that actually happened...with 14 separate dudes.." I know it's irrational, but i can't shake this crappy feeling.
Besides that, I really like her and everything else has been going excellent. Does anyone have any experience on coping with this, or perhaps suggestions on what I can do to help?
Also, I have talked to her about this and she understands and asks "what can I do to help?" But I don't know that she can do anything.. | My gf has had sex w/ more dudes than I would like to admit. How do I make these bad feelings go away? |
t3_28c4hy | relationships | My (26F) fiancés (31M) brother (34M) wants us to get a prenup. | I've been with my boyfriend for 6 years, we're both in our mid to late twenties, and we're waiting until we're done with school to get married. We've had relationship bumpiness, just like every other couple, but in times of bumpiness, it seems like the drama/fight gets amplified by the fact that my boyfriend almost always defers to his brothers advice. In the past, his brother and I have had some tension between us, and his brother has tried multiple times to break us up, calling me a gold digger, bitch, etc. I tried to patch the relationship up a few years ago, and extended an olive branch to my future brother in law. I thought that things were good between all of us, until recently the boyfriend and I were talking about prenups. I have consistently stated that I would be against signing one, and today I said it would be a deal breaker for me. My boyfriend beat around the bush before it came out that his brother had said "don't tell your girlfriend that it's my idea, but you should get a prenup." I am upset and hurt. And my boyfriend says "I have to go against one of your guys' best advice."
My boyfriend will be receiving two small settlements within the next 5 years. My boyfriend also owns a small fixer-upper home that we have both worked to repair, and that we both currently live in. | my boyfriends brother told him to get a prenup, and to not tell me that it was his idea. Am I wrong to be hurt by this? |
t3_4pjkgr | relationships | I [15M] am talking to this girl [15F] who I don't like, but I said I did. | So this girl and I have known each other for around 3 years, she lives a few towns over. We've never met and we've Facetimed maybe twice. We started talking again recently and she said she liked me, this was after she sent me an ass pic and I was super horny. She's not the best looking but I only see her for her body. She said she always had feelings for me and I said I liked her back and we made all these plans to meet up and do **things**. I said all these nice things to her (which I don't really mean.) and I don't really have a crush on her nor find her remotely attractive besides for her body. I am afraid if I bail now she'll be heartbroken and I don't want to do that to her. | I was horny and made plans with a girl that I actually don't like and I am afraid I am going to hurt her feelings. |
t3_255755 | self | After all of my recent issues, I'm not sure if I'm right in feeling the way I do. | If any of you have seen my last few posts here, you'd have read about my marital troubles, and my wife asking for a separation.
Prior to the separation, though, we had agreed to have an open marriage. Recently, she has been dating a guy (we'll call him "A") who she'd known for a long time. Today, as she was driving me to work, I noticed that she had been crying, so I asked her what was wrong.
The conversation that followed was her explaining to me that "A" was being mean to her in that he had basically said that she needed to make him her first priority, and that if she didn't do certain things to make that happen, he wouldn't speak to her again.
She then texted me an hour or so later that she was going to lunch, and I asked her if she had a date. Her reply was. "It is most definitely not a date. I'm going to meet up with 'A'."
I apologized that she was going through that, but I can't help but feel a small twinge of what I can only describe as [schadenfreude](
I'm a little conflicted in whether or not that feeling is justified. | Wife who asked me for a separation is probably breaking up with her boyfriend because he's being a dick, and I am not sure if my feelings are justified. |
t3_1f5iky | relationships | When have you been casually dating someone too long? | I [22f] have just gotten out of a 4 year relationship a little over 3 months ago.
The relationship did not end badly, we just wanted different things.
A month or so after being single and finally feel like it was time to see other people, I met 2 [30m] [25m] different gentlemen. Both very different from each other, but both interesting in their own way. I was very upfront that I was casually dating around and was in no way ready to journey into another long term relationship, but I feel both didn't really take it seriously. Fast forward a month or so, I feel things are starting to take a turn toward a relationship(s). I'm not sure how to feel about it. I find myself feeling guilty when I'm with one, and the other text me. The [30m] seems like he was more in it for fun, confident, never acts jealous, but a few nights ago said he was developing serious feelings for me. Yikes! The [25m] has always seemed VERY interested, a little timid when it comes to girls, and was even a little upset when I told him I would be causally dating other people. I went to this house the other night, and I'm pretty sure he looked thru my phone while I was sleeping. Do I break it off with both? With just one? How long is too long to casually date several people before you have to make a decision? | casually dating 2 guys after serious 4 year relationship, how long is it okay to do this before I have to make a decision? |
t3_37r5lr | relationships | Me [26 M] went on a date with this girl [24 F] few months ago but it didn't work then; now we are back in touch. How to proceed? | I went on a date with this girl a few months ago. We didn't click together and didn't continue after that. But now we are back in touch over text messages. I have thought about this girl over and over for quite some time after the date. Based on our conversations I think I like her, and I think I would like to date her again. But I don't know what to do. And another thing is that I will be away for like next 4 weeks, so I am not sure how and when I should ask her out, if at all I should do that. | First date didn't go well. Haven't been in touch for a while. Now again in touch over text messages and I want to take her on a date again. How to proceed? |
t3_1y7mpy | relationships | How can I [24F] put a lock on my bedroom door with the least amount of roommate [24M] drama possible? | Living with my roommate is a nightmare. While things have been tolerable, I reached a breaking point last night when I came home after being away for the weekend and finding things in my room moved around, one of his lighters in my closet, and small items (water bottles, rolls of toilet paper, etc.) missing. We're past the point of having a calm chat about privacy and having respect for each other's space and personal property. At this point, I'm just looking to wait out my lease and survive the next few months.
I've decided to replace the door handle in my bedroom, which locks only from the inside, with one that I can lock from the outside with a key. In accordance with my lease, I've asked my landlord for permission and will give them a copy of the key. My roommate and I are both named on the lease and share a kitchen, dining room, living room, and bathroom. We each have our own bedroom though. I plan on moving our router/modem from my room to the hallway. There's no other reason he would need to access my room.
So. I'm planning to receive prior written approval and install the lock this weekend. If he asks me directly, I plan to tell him that I have some security concerns and keep it short and vague. I also plan to give him the option of putting the router/modem in his room, or I can purchase an extension cord so it can be wired from the hallway.
I understand that this is kind of passive aggressive, but I really have no interest in maintaining any type of friendly relationship. Any advice on how to handle this? Would love to hear from someone who's been in a similar situation or has suggestions for dealing with this... | My roommate keeps violating my space. I've unilaterally decided to install a lock on my bedroom door. How can I minimize drama? |
t3_2vx0xf | relationships | Me [28 M] canceled date and asked to reschedule with [29 F] - think I blew it and don't know what step to take? | I've been seeing a girl I'm really into (met via tinder) - we've gone on about six dates - and we were supposed to meet up last Sunday for dinner at mine. Well I was pretty wiped from waking up early to see a friends marathon and went up with some guys for drinks afterward. Then I found out my roommates had a ton of people over and had made a mess of our place. So the girl texted me and asked if our plans were still on in the afternoon and I explained the situation and asked if we could do Monday or Tuesday instead. She replied 'nah, don't worry about it' and I haven't responded yet because I'm not sure if that means she never wants to see me again or if she was just pissed about it.
I already didn't feel great about the situation because she had spent the night on our last date and though she gave me a bj she didn't respond to me touching her and basically pushed my hand away at one point - she didn't want to have sex for some reason. So i dont know. I really like her but is there any hope? | Canceled date with girl I've been seeing a good bit and she kind of blew me off for a reschedule. Any hope? |
t3_3c2wmw | offmychest | I don't think I'd be so bothered by my weight if weight issues weren't such a Hot Button Issue ™ right now. | Honestly, I'm pretty healthy--slightly overweight at this point, but I eat well, exercise when I can (though that's less often right now than I'd like), and don't have any uncontrolled medical conditions. I've been heavy more or less my whole life--I was a chubby kid, gained a lot of weight in middle school (comfort eating), lost most of it in high school, gained it back in early college, and have just lost it again, though I'll probably gain a good bit back now that I don't bike to school anymore.
ANYWAY. My issue is not that my weight is out of control (it isn't); it's that whenever I read anything about America's Obesity Crisis, or Why is Everyone Getting Fatter, or Did People Used to Just Have More Self Control, I start to feel like I'm some sort of poster child for the "failures" of my generation. It's stupid--I should just focus on me, not on ~the cultural context~--but it's hard to be objective about these things when I'm busy getting self-conscious. I just keep thinking things like "In the 1960s you would have been considered *enormous*", or "the only reason you don't hate your body entirely is because you've been coddled into thinking you're normal by all this body-positivity stuff." | Society's focus on why people are getting fatter, and the insistence that Something Must Be Wrong with This Generation, makes me feel like shit about my (not even that bad) weight. |
t3_3y8qay | relationships | [22 F] with my boyfriend [22 M] of 3 years, just out of college, trying long distance but might be moving abroad. Unsure whether to end relationship or try long distance...or other options? | My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost three years. I just graduated college and he will be graduating in May. We're still together, but I am trying to find a job abroad, most likely in Europe or Asia. We have a strong relationship, but like many people, we find long distance difficult.
Now that we will be out of college, neither of us are the type to follow the other, but we did agree that if we had met later in life, after being settled down and had our lives less chaotic, we probably would've ended up together and getting married etc etc. However, because right now we are just finishing college and we're going to be starting our real adult lives, it's just too chaotic to really expect anything seriously long term from this point on.
I don't want to give up this relationship but I also know that long distance is very difficult and I am not confident that we will somehow "beat the odds". But I don't want to let it end abruptly when there's so much unfinished, neither do I want to let it wither away to nothing and have only negative feelings or forget all the good feelings I have towards him by letting the relationship just end slowly.
At present, there is no end date to our long distance relationship, but that's not to say that in the future, we don't want to potentially end up together. I'm just really unsure what my options are here, and what the best course of action would be. Is there such thing as..a pause or something on a relationship? Or should we just end things here and now? | Just finished college, possibly moving abroad (but don't live in same state anyways), unsure where the relationship should go. |
t3_2ua8n3 | tifu | TIFU stumbling into a gangster owned Ramen shop. | Last night was quite the adventure. Went to a club and got super wasted and woke up this morning with a massive hangover and extreme hunger.
So I wake up and sit under the shower like Valerie from leaving Las Vegas, drink some water and puke a bit then put on some sunglasses and head out to grab some hangover food (spicy Ramen works amazing)
I stumble off the bus and in a daze make my way down a little back street towards my favorite noodle shop. I can't read a single word of Japanese... and that is the root of this fuck up. I stumble up to the shop and let myself in, oblivious to the sign saying its closed.
I didn't get a good look at what was going on in the room because it was pretty dark but what ever it was it was shady as fuck. As I stepped inside a big guy in a suit grabbed my hand and twisted my arm behind my back while slamming me into the wall.
After being pinned to the wall for a few seconds listening to hurried movements and rustling behind me I was let go. The adorable little old lady that serves me every weekend rushed up to me and sorry for the way I was treated, then pushed me out of the door.
I was completely dazed and confused. my thumb was crooked and clearly broken pretty badly and I was followed to the bus station by a man wearing an expensive black suit and sunglasses. | ? Went to grab some spicy Ramen and got my thumb snapped by a shady ass Yakuza enforcer. Also sweet old shop owner lady is certainly mobbed up xD |
t3_znvtz | AskReddit | "Once a cheat, always a cheat." Is this always true, or are there any success stories out there? | * Ok so I will explain my situation. I am 21 years old. I have been with my girlfriend for about two and a half years. The way that we started dating was a bit odd and probably stupid on my part. It was around July and I had about two weeks before I shipped out to basic training when her and I started to mess around. I really liked her and she seemed really in to me. She suggested that we start dating and I was skeptical because of the obvious, I was about to ship out. She ended up convincing me so I was psyched to have a girlfriend.
* I shipped out to basic/AIT and was there for three months. I wrote letters to her and thought about her all the time. This created strong feelings towards her because she was staying in touch and I believed she was being faithful. When I arrived home everything seemed fine and after about two weeks of being together she told me she had been unfaithful while I was gone. I was in such a state of confusion/anger that I didn't know what to do. Her reasons for doing this was she was unsure of how our relationship would be when I arrived home. I decided to forgive her because we didn't have a serious basis for our relationship before I shipped out and agreed that it wouldn't have been a big deal if we hadn't started dating before then. So we moved on deciding to essentially start anew.
* She has since joined the army also and was gone for about three months. I am not for certain what she did while away for that but she claims to not have done anything. I want to believe her so badly because I would like to believe she is truely sorry about wronging me while I was away. But like some have said it is always coming back into my mind. I am quite happy with her and want to forgive and forget but I just do not know how. Does anyone have some advice for me? For us? | Got together with girlfriend before basic, she cheated while I was away. I forgave her and we have been going strong for two years but I still have trust issues. Advice? |
t3_1yuhj4 | pettyrevenge | The most terrible thing I've ever done | So there was this guy, we'll call him Pete. Pete briefly dated my best fried in middle school until she broke up with him for attempted rape. He then started calling her a lot of nasty names like kike (she's Jewish) saying that she should've died in the ovens like the rest of her family. Calling her a whore, basically a lot of really terrible things.
About me, I don't make friends very easily and when I do, I'm loyal to the bone and take things like this very seriously. For some reason my 13 year old brain thought that the only course of action was to start a rumor about Pete. The rumor I chose (no idea why) is that Pete got kicked out of boyscout camp for molesting a goat. I told one person, a more popular kid named Joe. The next morning Joe went to every single classroom during homeroom period and shouted to the whole class 'PETE GOT KICKED OUT OF SCHOOL FOR FUCKING A GOAT".
So every student, teacher, and faculty member in the school knew. No one really liked Pete because he was kind of mean and weird so the rumor ran like fire and everyone started baahing at him in the hallway, started calling him goat lover, one guy made a tinfoil goat and put it on his chair during lunch and when he sat on it shouted 'STOP STRADDLING THE GOAT, GOAT LOVER" basically everyone made his life hell.
I felt really terrible it escalated that quickly and to that degree, I kind of ruined his life for the remainder of middle school. I'm not sure if it followed him into high school since we went to different schools. I'm sure he was really confused about the whole thing. | guy tried to rape my friend so I told everyone that he got kicked out of boyscout camp for raping a goat. |
t3_2d9rc3 | relationships | I [22/F] can't seem to let go of my ex [26/M]. | We broke up in February, that's six months ago. I'm a bit concerned with how I have been dealing with it. I've gone through the stages of grief, taken care of myself physically and dated other people since our break up.
But every single day I find myself thinking about him. I loved him more than I've ever felt for anyone before. Just watching his movements and the way he was in general was like watching my favorite movie for the first time, every day. I'd say it was my real first heart break.
We were only together for 10 months which is also why I don't know why it's such a big deal to me. We have absolutely no contact with each other at all anymore, not even facebook, and I still get sad about it.
I relive our break up in my dreams at least once a week or I dream that we get back together and I wake up feeling drained emotionally. I really feel that if he didn't pop up in my dreams I wouldn't be dealing with this, but he does. And it's always incredibly painful dreams.
I don't know what to do, and my mind won't let me forget the heartbreak. :( | Still think about my ex after our break up 6 months ago even with no contact. He won't stop showing up in my dreams and it's driving me crazy. |
t3_3bo01u | relationships | I [F22) went to a music festival with BF [M26]- should I be mad he ditched me? | Sorry in advance because on mobile. My boyfriend [M26] of 1 year and I [F22] went to a music festival together recently. It was also our anniversary (this is important later).
The day before our anniversary there was an artist performing who I really wanted to see with my BF, it's the only set I specifically asked him to go to with me. Instead, when I left for 10 minutes about an hour before the set to go to the bathroom and explore the venue for literally 10 minutes he wasn't there when I got back. Turns out he met up with some friends (who hate me and are rude at best to me) including one of whom he slept with while we were first dating (slept in the same bed with, although he swears they didn't do anything). He didn't want to meet up until after the set I'd asked him to see with me had ended (I asked him to see it with me 6 months ago when the lineup came out and he agreed).
Am I right to be angry and hurt about this? Literally he could have met up with them at any other time and I wouldn't have cared (though it's still mad disrespectful that he lets them treat me the way they do and doesn't say anything or do anything about it)- but the day before our anniversary during literally the one set I asked him to see with me? | BF and I went to a music festival, he ditched me during the one set I asked him to see with me. Do I have a right to be mad? |
t3_26nm8c | relationship_advice | [20/f] I worry that my SO [20/m] of three years never outwardly shows his love for me, what do I do? | I've been dating my boyfriend since highschool and we've worked seemingly perfectly (no fights, shave views, things in common, etc). My problem is that I can't seem to shake the feeling that he doesn't really love me anymore, let alone like me.
Lately, it's gotten worse because I've started to notice how unbalanced out relationship is as I praise him all the time, initiate sexy time (lol), give him massages when he's sore, always pay for dinner/movies/etc, even tie his shoes and carry his backpack if he's tired.. really anything. Its just my way of saying I love you since Im really bad with words so I try to show it rather than say it.
But he...doesn't do anything. He never tells me why he loves me he just says he does everynight out of routine. If I'm lazy to do something he just says something like "well sucks..." etc. He never makes me feel truly wanted sexually and I just feel like any old friend of his he keeps because its easy. Kisses, yeah. You look pretty today, yeah. But it feels too robotic, like theres no real passion or love anymore.
Outward appreciation gradually decreased after the first 6 months. Everytime I've brought something like this up he just acts like its so obvious that he loves me dearly.. but he never shows it.
I feel like I uneccesarily compare it to other peoples relationships where men buy their SOs flowers and have romantic dates planned and elaborate love letter. I used to do all these sweet things until I felt shot down with the way he half assed or didnt reciprocate. It being such a one way street sucks.
I feel like its always my job to treat him like a princess and never the other way around. I just want to feel loved and appreciated equally. What do I do about it?
So do I talk to him about it again? Will it change? Is it just a guy thing?
Thank you for anyone who reads all this and helps me out. I really appreciate it. | Feels like my SO doesn't really like me, despite him saying he loves me daily, he doesnt do squat to show it. Confused if it's in my head or I should I talk to him about this? |
t3_35mgcy | relationships | Me [26M] with my ex [26F] 6 months, Advice on getting back together. | I met this amazing girl on vacation last year and she ended up living fairly close to me. We hit it off instantly and started dating when we returned home. She told me on our 2nd date that her and her best friend were planning a backpacking trip across Europe in 6 months and that she didn't want a boyfriend. We still dated exclusively for the next 6 months and ended up getting very attached to each other.
I knew there was an end date in sight and so did she but we liked each other too much to end it sooner. On Jan. 1 of this year she left for Europe and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I miss her so much and even told her that I loved her and she told me she had very strong feelings for me but given the situation couldn't commit to anything. We haven't really talked much while she's been gone because she said it felt cruel to keep in touch with me while she couldn't promise a commitment.
We've texted and emailed a few times but nothing super regular. I've also always been the one to initiate the conversation. I think she feels guilty because we had such an amazing thing and it ended only because she was going on this trip. Anyways, she returns home this month and I'm eager to see her. She promised before she left that we would meetup again. I just don't know what to do. Should I wait to see if she proposes we see each other again? Should I ask her to hangout? Any advice would help. | Dated for 6 months, amazing relationship/connection. She left for Europe for 6 months and is returning soon. Wondering how to go about reconnecting. |
t3_dtr0q | AskReddit | A friend on mine convulses/shakes after just a few drinks. It happens every time she drinks. What's going on? | I have a friend who is a girl, and we're both in college. As such, we both like to enjoy some weekend binge drinking. In her case, after about 3 or 4 beers over the course of a couple hours, she has what I would call convulsions. Her body just twitches, like an uncontrolled tick. Sometimes its accompanied by a sharp breath. It always goes away by morning. She has had this since high school(although drinking was slightly more illegal then), and it has never stopped her from drinking. Despite google, I can't seem to figure out what is going on. All the information I can find involves people having long term shakes after drinking and the advice is to stop. Anyone know what is going on with her or have any advice? | My female friend convulses after a few. It used to freak us out, but seems normal now and we don't know what the hell to do about it. |
t3_4fxbkp | relationship_advice | [21m]Time to move on? | I'll try and make a long story short. I've been dating with my now ex girlfriend for three years since we were seniors in Highschool. We were on and off with the distance since she went nearly 500 miles away for college, both of us never had another relationship in the mean time, we would hook up when we weren't together.
This year when we decided to date again instead of just hooking up between school breaks we decided we would make more effort( this was mostly on my end, imo) to strengthen things. The distance sucked. When we were together everything was great. When she went back to school I would always just think that things weren't good between us and I don't know why, like I couldn't give her enough emotionally. I have been dealing with a lot of anxiety and depression from school this year also.
I finally decided that she was such a sweet and loving girl that I really couldn't reciprocate what she was giving me, and that she deserved to find someone that could treat her better and broke things off. I definitely know that I love her, and she is crazy about me. I'm young and I've been in love once with my first girlfriend(I was 16), but I don't feel the same this time around and this relationship has been 2 years longer. I don't know if I'm supposed to feel more or if this was right or if that prior relationship was a first love thing. | I love this girl, she gave me everything but I don't know if I felt strongly enough to continue our future together beyond 3 years. Did I do the right thing letting us both move on? |
t3_xf7iy | offmychest | Someone drove 3 hours to beat me up | So this guy was my friend in college. I am really good friends with his girlfriend and to make a long story short we betrayed him and we had sex. So she feels really bad about this and regrets it so she tells him that she cheated on him but wants to work things out and he doesn't break up with her.
2 months later she finally tells him we had sex and so he tells me he wants to talk. I get on skype and he tells me that he is at my local high school and wants to meet up (he drove 3 hours and skipped work). I tell him that I don't think it was a good idea. I was playing basketball at the time with a bunch of friends and I told him he could come to where I am.
He does and goes into the church which is near the basketball court and I go in and he is sitting on a pew opposite and we talk. He keeps asking me if there is anything he should know I told him no. He tells me wrong answer and I ask him what is the right answer. He then beats around the bush talking about if there is anything i want confess yadayada. So I tell him that you already know everything and finally he just tells me he wants to hear me say it.
So I told him we had sex, he then stands up and walks over to me and tries to punch me in the face but I block it. He then starts trying to get me on the ground and starts fighting me in the church. I got away and then walked out of the church towards my friends and he gets in his car and leaves.
Anyways what the fuck. | Girl cheats with me. Girl tells guy. Guy skips work and drives 3 hours, we meet up in church. He assaults me. I get away from him and walk towards friends. He drives home. |
t3_2kdj5a | relationships | Me [22 M] with my girlfriend [21 F] of 3 years, struggling with gf mum's terminal cancer | A little extra information. I've been dating this girl for 3 years since we were 18 I love her with all my heart and we are currently in a long distance relationship due to going to different universities, this won't end for another couple of years due to long courses.
About a year and a bit into our relationship my gf's mum got a diagnosis of bowel cancer which had entered the lymph nodes. She had surgery and chemotherapy and all was ok for a few months before metastases started appearing she is now a palliative patient just trying to extend life for as long as possible.
My GF obviously struggles with this quite a lot and is still trying to get through uni whilst trying to get home when she can to spend time with her mum. Again naturally she has her down days and is upset often whilst waiting for various test results.
I try and see her on weekends every couple of weeks and we talk every day but I find it so difficult to try and get her through those down days over things like skype and really find it difficult to think of things to say as I have never been through anything like this.
So I suppose my question to reddit is help! What should I say, advice or do to help her more in this horrible period? | GF of 3 years going through uni, a dying mother and a long term relationship. I need help in reassuring her and helping her through this. |
t3_4fq7db | AskDocs | Does doing shrooms or acid once a month for awhile do any permanent brain damage? What are the effects of smoking weed 2-3 times a day for a years on the brain? | I (m24) have a girlfriend (f24) who is kind of a hippie and we have been together for half a year. I was mostly straight edge in my youth. Now I drink on occasion and smoke with her from time to time. She is a more heavy user where she smokes maybe 2-3 times a day. I was wondering how this would effect her mind. I'm more so curious about the mushrooms and acid she does maybe once a month or every other month. She does other random drugs to at times but not as often. She stays away from really additive things like coke and such because she knows they are very harmful and addictive and that she has an addictive personality. She knows her limits and doesn't get fucked up every time she does it she like to still know what's going on around her. I was wondering if they brain can come back from all this if she ever tries to stop. Though I think she will continue to use into her older age. Just curious what I'm getting into really. (Short term lurker, first time post). Any stories, advice, or actual facts would be great to hear. | I got a new hippie girl friend and she does natural drugs casually and safe dosages was curious if this is any better for the brain or is still harmful where you can't come back. |
t3_18cgm3 | Pets | Any experience with perineal urethrostomy (PU) surgery? | Background Info:
I have a 6 year old neutered male cat who has developed cystitis in the last 4 years. The first 2 years, he would have an occasional UTI. I think he had maybe 3 total in those 2 years. When he was 4, we moved 12hrs away. The move was stressful for him and he had his first blockage. We rushed him to the emergency vet. Luckily, the pain meds allowed him to relax enough that he unblocked before they used a catheter. His second block was 4 months later. This was a full block. He was given a catheter and a 2 day stay in the hospital. From that point on, he had a cystitis inflammation about every other month. Always struvite crystals. Not always an infection.
During this time, he was always on a wet food diet. Before he blocked, he was on wet foods like Fromm, Wellness, and Before Grain. After he blocked, we tried Science Diet CD. It didn't help. So we switched to Purina UR. It didn't help. I finally switched him back to the grain free foods he was eating before. He went 6 months without a problem (a long time for how he had been doing). Then he had another flare up. Took him to the vet and then he was fine for another 4 months.
Thursday, I returned from work to find, he was fully blocked again. Another trip to the emergency room. It went smoothly and he is back home and back to normal now.
Technically, he has had 3 blocks (3 strikes, you're out) although he cleared his first on his own. So now we are looking at the PU surgery. Despite pamphlets and vet info, I don't know anyone who has had this done. It is a very sensitive surgery with a long, difficult recovery time. Ideally, this would keep him from ever blocking again. But I would lie if I said I wasn't scared.
Has anyone been through a PU surgery with one of their animals? What was recovery like? Has your animal had any complications/side effects? | My 6yr old cat has had 3 UT blockages. It is time to look into PU surgery. I am scared. What have your experiences been? |
t3_3it5ix | relationships | Me [19 M] with my girlfriend [18 F] - How much does a drunken kiss mean? | We've only been going out for 2 months, but it's been going absolutely amazing, nothing like either of us have experienced before. The issue is that I think she may have kissed someone at a festival she went to last night. I trust her entirely when shes sober, but she's very new to drinking and she comes across as naive when shes drunk, so I was sort of worried something like this might happen.
I'm wondering if this is enough to show the relationship is going nowhere, or if it still has potential. I know it's only two months, but it's going great and it felt like it could be a really long-term thing, so I don't want to throw it away without properly considering it first.
On a side note, I'm not entirely sure if she did kiss someone, and I haven't got a chance to speak to her sober yet, but I received a text from her saying "I fucked up so massively", then when I asked how about an hour later she responded talking about how she'd just been hit with something and she was trying to change the subject, it just came across as very non-genuine. This is kinda irrelevant to the question but if you have any insight into whether that probably means she did cheat it would be appreciated. | Into a new relationship that is going great, how should I react to my girlfriend drunkenly kissing someone and what does it mean for the relationship? |
t3_4rqc49 | legaladvice | [Canada] My gfs ex-husband crashed their leased car while drunk, now shes on the hook? | My gf is getting a divorce from her husband in a few months, they have one kid, shes 4. He left her about a year ago to be with another woman but the ex and her have since split up. He is how homeless, jobless and an alcoholic on top of that. They have been splitting custody of their daughter 60/40, but since the husband doesn't have anywhere to live, hes been staying at my gfs place with their daughter on his parenting nights while she stays at my place.
They have a car from their marriage that he is driving (she doesn't have a license yet but is working on it). Shes paying for the insurance and lease payments. She was planning on buying the car when the lease was up this month. She had it safetied, installed new tires and windshield. She was one week from owning it and just making payments on it. The ex was at home with the daughter one night last week, got drunk, left the daughter alone at home sleeping and ended up hitting a parked car and totaling their car. He got a DUI and the car was impounded.
This is the worst possible time for this to happen, since my gf doesn't yet own the car, its still a under the lease. Since her ex was drunk, insurance isn't covering it. Now the dealership that had the lease says that shes on the hook for the $7000 and it might go to collections since shes a single mother going through a divorce and doesn't have 7 grand laying around.
He doesn't get to see his daughter alone anymore and is promising to go to rehab but that'll take 6 weeks just to get him a bed. Is there anything at she can do when it comes to the $7000? I know this might be a pretty unique situation, but I'm hoping for at least some relevant advice. | Girlfriends ex crashed their car while drunkenly neglecting their daughter and now shes on the hook for the lease. Any hope of relief or some advice? |
t3_1i7g8n | relationships | I[20F] want to make my (unofficial) boyfriend [26M] feel happy and special with a gift? | I am 20 years old and this is my first relationship. Ever. I haven't done anything before at all. Literally. He's the first guy to ever hold my hand. And that's as far as I've gone. We've "been together" since the end of April, so 2 1/2 months. Kinda.
Anyways, I go to college out of state, and that state is where he lives. But I'm back home for the summer, so we're LDR-ing it unofficially because this is my first relationship and I have no freakin clue what the hell I'm doing and I don't want a full blown relationship to have the first 3 months be long distance.
We talk a lot, we skype, we call, we text, we snapchat, we write letters, we send each other packages... we literally do everything that I think is possible (except sexting and junk like that... I'm not comfortable with it because I'm inexperienced as all get out and wanna take things slowly)
POINT IS, I love him. I know it's early to say it now (maybe a little OAG? Idk...). But I wanna make him feel special. And I have no clue how!
He's a huge romantic, and so am I... so that's why we've done the letters and stuff. We're the type of ooey gooey people that everybody hates.
I wanna get him something nice for my next package to him. But not too expensive, (college student...). Something romantic... surprising... you know.
P.S. Neither one of our primary love languages is gifts (we're quality time and touch or acts of service) but... it's difficult to do from a distance. I just wanna make him feel loved but I can't touch him.... | I'm the biggest virgin that you can be. I wanna make my boyfriend happy from a distance. Not comfortable with sexting or such things. Any gift suggestions? |
t3_3i4cn0 | relationships | Help. I [17M] need to get over my ex [18F] who just moved away to college. Yet we talk every day. | Well, it was only 8 months long and we knew it was coming but it really didn't change anything. We both still love each other incredible amounts. We tried an open relationship first but that ended quickly since from both sides we were incredibly anxious and hurt thinking about each other with another person.
When that "ended" and she suggested we just be friends, it really is no different than before. We still say we love each other all the time and talk constantly throughout the day. When shes home on break too we'll pick right up where we left off.
Although I'm miserable and I don't foresee that stopping. I look at photos of us all the time and have written letters from her that I read often too.
It's not like anything bad happened between us that I can use to distance and get over the person. Additionally, we're both heavily reliant on each other for support.
Everything I'm doing is the opposite of what I should do to get over a person. But I can't just stop talking to this girl, shes like my best friend. But I also don't want to be miserable everyday.
Please help. | I want to get over my ex. Yet we talk everyday, say we love each other, and both heavily rely on one another. |
t3_3dp1ot | Advice | Need ideas for our awesome bachelor party | The homie is getting married! Exciting stuff! Our ideas right now are based around sort of putting him in a video game where he gets weapon and armor upgrades as he progresses through a stage that we have planned for him. Our idea right now is to throw fruits and vegetables at him as he tries to slice them, we're gonna make him a shield so eventually he can block the aggressive produce and feel the feel of character progression. Who doesn't love character progression. We've purchased some cool shit from the hardware store to make the shield and a helmet.
Other ideas we're throwing around involve giving him a sledgehammer and random shit to smash, implementing puzzles into the quest, magic (would love some good ideas on magic spells), a solid way to stage a boss battle, and making him various weapons.
We're a bit on the broker side of things financially at this moment, so budget friendly things are definitely appreciated.
I know a lot of this can probably be googled, but I came to you for fresh ideas about activities or stages of this plan. Looking for fresh ideas for the ol brain furnace! | Need dope ideas for best friends bachelor party, gonna try to put him in a video game stage where he gets weapon and armor upgrades. Want to make it as cool as possible on limited funds. |
t3_139uf1 | relationships | My girlfriend (f/18) doesn't show she appreciates me (m/19) at all. How do I ask her to start doing stuff for me to show she appreciates me? | So my girlfriend of 8 months doesn't do jack shit for me. I have bought her roses numerous times, gotten her teddy bears, taken her out to dinner many times, and have done so much for her emotionally (she's had terrible anxiety for a while,and I was her go-to person for venting and advice). However, I know I've never asked her for anything back, but I still would like her to do some stuff for me every once in a while just to show she cares about me. I don't want to sound petty or anything, but it would be nice of her to make me food or give me a backrub every now and then just to do something nice back and show some gratitude. She has never done any of that, though, and tonight I told her I feel underappreciated and she got upset with me. I don't know how to tell her I just want her to pull her weight around in this relationship, because she's the type to overreact about stuff. How do I go about this? | Girlfriend isn't pulling her weight around in this relationship, I don't know how to ask her to; what do? |
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