id
stringlengths 8
9
| subreddit
stringclasses 29
values | title
stringlengths 2
300
| post
stringlengths 1
2.32k
| summary
stringlengths 70
278
|
|---|---|---|---|---|
t3_304kw1 | relationship_advice | Meeting LDR for First time..{M/19} & {F/17} | Thank you for taking your time and reading my post. I would really appreciate your advice on this. English is my second language so please excuse my poor grammar and punctuation.
Here is little Background: I'm M/19 living in NC, while she live in CT F/17. We met on Insta back in Oct/14 and from that point on we started talking. Snapchat to text and etc... We ran in some trouble like fighting/arguing for stupid reasons like usual relationship. But honestly I don't feel the same as we use to. Call once a week or so..barley don't remember last time we skyped/FT and pretty much text all day.
anyway I stick with her through all her BS problems, sending flowers and gifts to make her feel better after her EX knocked her up..and etc..just to make her happy while we are apart.
So I finally decided to meet her up after little over Five Months relationship. We are meeting for first meeting..bit nervous. My first LDR so have no clue how this will go but keeping my figure for better outcome. So I've decided that I'll only spend a day just because it's our first time and trying not to do any sexual contact or anything related. just meet, have good time in town, dinner date and normal first day.
So reason behind this post is that Should I stay longer? What can we do? How should I dress? What should we talk about?
Thank you once again for reading my post and apologize for my poor English. I would really appreciate your advice/help on this. Thank you. | Meeting my LDR for first time in few weeks, How long should I stay? What should I do? Should I bring any gifts? |
t3_hkb60 | AskReddit | Meeting Dave Grohl? well wanting too | So i'm going to the foo fighters concert in pittsburgh in september and my friend is comin along with me, dave grohl has been his hero since he was a kid, and the kid is a monster on drums and even dave would be all like "Daaaaaaaamnnnn! if he heard him, but to the point i would really love to find a way to meet Dave grohl while we there and make my buddies life long dream come true, can anyone offer up any advice for me on this? anyone thats met him before or possibly even knows him, any comments and advice would be much appreciated | Seeing Foo fighters in concert, dave grohl = best friends idol/childhood hero want to give him a chance to meet him, need ideas and advice |
t3_4tu2x2 | personalfinance | Haven't paid taxes since starting international education in 2008. About to graduate and move back to the US. Not sure what to do. | Long version:
I am a US citizen. In 2008, I started graduate school in Canada and have been studying on visa the whole time. I am not a permanent resident or citizen of Canada.
Doing taxes is time consuming and stresses me out. Also, I never made enough money to actually owe either government anything. Since doing taxes sucks, but I was only hurting myself by skipping them, I just kind of got in the habit of not doing them. I haven't submitted tax forms in the US or Canada in the last eight years. Now I'm at the end of my studies, looking for jobs in the US, and I'm worried that my employers might find out. | Been in Canada for 8 years. Haven't paid taxes in US or Canada for those 8 years, but now I want a job back in the states. |
t3_2m7r7b | relationships | Me [21M] with my GF [20F] of 2.5 years, changes her mind on my physical body and tells me. | We've been dating for 2.5, known each other for 3. When we met, I was always a bigger guy, having been an athlete and dedicated to health, but I always carried a little weight as well (you can see the outline of my abdominals faintly). She tells me she doesn't like skinny guys, but doesn't like overly muscular bodies either.
I have had this stupid "four year plan" since where I go on cuts in the summer and maintain my macro nutrients the rest of the year to have energy to focus on school. With two years down, I have lost 22lbs from where I started and my strength and conditioning has definitely gone up.
Recently, she has been commenting that I should make my arms bigger, but also sometimes that I should lose more weight. Honestly, it does make me self conscious sometimes when she does say that, and I have told her so. She recently has joined the Greek life, and I feel like she may be comparing me to other guys she has seen.
Ironically enough, my girlfriend is almost the opposite to me when it comes to health. If I am eating chicken and rice for lunch, she'll most likely will be eating mac and cheese. She has a bit of fat on her as well, but is definitely not overweight and I love her body. I never bring up her eating habits, but the few times I have, has been because she comments on feeling sick and I will mention eating better food that is nutritious.
This is more of a rant but, it bothers me that my GF comments on my body, to get bigger but lose weight (very, very hard to do at the same time), what does Relationships think? | GF goes back and forth telling me to get bigger arms and lose weight. Makes me self conscious, but she will say it despite the fact I have told her. |
t3_3zch0r | tifu | TIFU by forgetting to lock the door. (NSFW-ish) | Throwaway because this is not going on my main account. This happened about half an hour ago.
So, to set some context- I come from a fairly conservative Asian family, where all things sexual are pretty much taboo/not something you discuss openly.
Also, I'm still living with my parents, and we share a bathroom- which is in their bedroom, since the communal bathroom is older and we don't use it as much, and use it mostly for dyeing clothes/storing wash supplies and pails and shit.
This evening, I was taking a massive, stinky dump on the Porcelain Throne, really squeezing it out there, heaving and pushing as I attempt to birth my turd child. I sit there, twiddling my toes and squishing my belly rolls when I notice that my finger and toenails are a little long and gnarly.
Since I'm alone, and the door is *supposedly* locked, I don't bother wiping as I get up to grab a nail cutter to trim my finger and toe nails, hovering over the bin outside the loo as I cut my nails. Clearly, I didn't think that I could cut my nails over the damn toilet bowl.
So, back to the Asian family bit, my mom likes to brew herbal soups for the family, and she brings it to us in our rooms........so when she realized I wasn't in my room, she moved to the master bedroom, pushing the unlocked door open.....to find me buck ass nude, ass spattered with poop, clipping my nails over the bin.
In her room.
A+ for filial piety. | Took a massive shit, didn't wipe, needed to cut nails, mom catches my shit smeared ass squatting next to her bin, clipping away at my nails. |
t3_35wfum | relationships | Me [22 M] with my ex [22 F] dated for 9 months, broke up, and remained friends. She's extremely passive-aggressive but we have close mutual friends. I don't want problems. | So me (22 M) and my ex (22 F) met through mutual friends and dated for a little over nine months. It got to be a pretty serious-ish relationship and then things ended up not working out. We didn't blame each other for what happened, it just didn't work. No big deal. I've been in a relationship since then and she's got a boyfriend now too.
We would talk occasionally--briefly, every couple of weeks--and then out of nowhere she texts me saying that we can't be friends and to not talk to her. Naturally, I called to try to find out what happened and her boyfriend picked up, telling me that I needed to leave old feelings for her behind. I calmly explained to him that there was a misunderstanding, I didn't have feelings for her, and we settled things. I talked to her a week later and she gave me an explanation (it was a drastic reaction to a fight she had with her boyfriend) but the main point is we got it worked out.
We had a few more conversations where we laughed and got along like normal. A few days after that, she gradually became distant. She wouldn't respond to texts that she read and barely spoke to me when I saw her in person. She doesn't seem to be so distant from our mutual friends, although they have commented on the fact that they think something is going on with her. Knowing how she tends to operate, I resolved not to pry and to let whatever is going on be her problem, not mine.
My concern is that one of our mutual friends wants to get a small group together for a beach trip later this summer and she'll be going along. I don't want to deal with passive aggressive hositility the whole time and I don't really know how to properly address this. Help? | My ex started refusing to talk to me out of nowhere and I don't know how to deal with her hostility because of our mutual friends. |
t3_1xtw10 | AskReddit | What is a topic you found a passion for learning about, that they don't teach in schools? | Growing up, I was very book smart and absorbed most of what I read, either in school books or books I read for fun. I'm extremely good at Math, English, Science, Geography, Astronomy, and other things they teach in school. However, due to a variety of reasons, I feel like I missed out completely on learning about things such as, pop culture, politics, world news, philosophy and a lot of history. Recently, this has become a problem as I try to make friends as a young adult, because these are large topics that are relatively popular, that I have no clue about. What is a topic you found a passion for? Why does it interest you?
*Where would someone start to learn about it? Books are nice. Author suggestions. Websites. Anything to use as an intro to the topic | I know nothing about pop culture, politics, world news, history, philosophy, etc. and want to find topics of interest to educate myself in these and other areas. |
t3_1r8hdt | self | Reddit Gold? Where are you? Let's cut my reddit binging in half. | If there isn't already, I think there should be a subreddit or reddit option to find out where that day's gold is being awarded. For example, I have brief periods where I shouldn't get sucked into reddit for longer than a few minutes, but I want a quick laugh or informative blurb or even a circlejerk gone bad (good?); the thing is, I'd like to be able to quickly see who's received gold on that day for whatever reason, because chances are that I'd get what I wanted quicker.
This would probably backfire, dragging me deeper into the dredges of reddit as usual, but wouldn't it be a nice option? Is there a bot for this? It doesn't help that on my mobile reddit app (Bacon reader) I can't see who's awarded gold at all, unless they have the obligatory 'Thanks for the gold' edit. Maximize my need to see gold! Sort of like a blend of /r/ | and /r/bestof but for comments awarded gold. It should be noted I don't have RES although somehow I think that would do the trick. |
t3_h0kdj | AskReddit | Please help my girlfriend's family! | So here's the situation:
About 25 years ago my girlfriend's family immigrated to California from Vietnam. They started out by purchasing some properties and then building them up and making a lot of money. They eventually bought a gas station and seemed to be set. That is until my gf's dad (we'll call him Jim) let his brother work at the gas station. He then continuously stole money in various ways. Jim was not very smart about the situation and didn't do anything to stop it. Now they've come to me and are saying that they're about to lose their gas station and house if they don't have any money soon. The brother has since died, and passed all of his loot to his son. The son (let's call him jack) has refused to help out her family because they don't have any proof that he stole the money from them. They need a ridiculous amount of money so I'm not asking that anyone try and help out.
What I want to know is, how do we (pardon my language but I'm quite pissed) take this fucker down. I want to know if there is a way that we can make sure that jack goes to jail. The money that he has was not obtained by legal measures, and he has lots of it.
Is there anyone that knows a way to scare jack into helping Jim's family? If it isn't possible to sue the money back from him is there a way that we can make him burn?
Also, apparently Jim decided to sponsor about 145 of his relatives over to the US and none of them are willing to help out either. | My girlfriend's extended family is full of selfish jackasses that don't understand the idea of "I scratch your back, you scratch mine". Can I scare them into understanding it? |
t3_3r2hf0 | relationships | Me [25 M] is totally into her [24/F] but the situation is complicated | I just met her a few months ago and for me it was love at first sight. I love everything about her and her smile is enough to melt away. I think she likes me too, cause there are those vibes between us when we are together. The chemistry fits perfectly.
**The problem is:** until a few days ago she had a boyfriend and she still loves him.
She told me alot about him and their relationship and he's a total asshole. He keeps her under control 24/7, he even forbid her to text with me (right from the start and without knowing me or my feelings at all. He just did that out of jealousy).
It's also his "thing" to break up with her (a few days ago it was the 11th time in 3 years) to force her to do as he pleases.
This time he told her that he "still likes her, but he's just too disgusted by her appearence". The reason behind this is, that she told him a sexual desire she has, that he doesn't share. After 3 years together he told her that she is disgusting, just because she opened up her heart and desires... i can't take that and it makes me furious.
She also got sick because of that pressure and stress, but still goes back to him every time and i think she is trying to get him back atm once more.
I want to help her so much, that i tried to set up a date with several other class mates just to let her forget about the problems even if it's just for one evening, but in the end she canceled it. She also stopped texting me cause "she is just too sad, that she isn't even able to write anything".
I don't want to help her to get any closer to her, but just to see her smile again. :( | I am totally in love with a girl, that seems to like me too, but who is still in love with an asshole, who is abusive in some sort. I don't know what to do. Need advice! |
t3_43b7w2 | tifu | TIFU by getting into a strangers car. | Surprise surprise, this didn't actually happen today. It was a long time ago in fact, I must have been about nine.
Every Sunday, my family and I would go grocery shopping for the week, buying snacks and dinners and whatever. So, we got done with that. My dad had to buy some propane or something, (you had to go to a different area of the store to buy that) so he sent me out into the parking lot to take whatever whatever we bought, put it near the car and get in. For context, I was putting groceries in the car while my dad was buying something because the propane was sold outside, meaning you either bought it before you went in and carried it with you, or you bought it on your way out. Anyway, back to the story. We had an this blue family SUV. That small detail is exactly why I fucked up. There were probably dozens of the same exact car in that parking lot. Being nine, I didn't memorize the plate number or anything, I just went to the first car that I saw that looked like mine. Big mistake. I left the shopping cart full of groceries near the car like my dad had said, and got in. I sat down in the car, buckled myself in like a good little kid, and proceeded to play on my game boy. I don't know how long I was doing this before I heard a raspy African-American woman say (and I shit you not) "Who the hell are you?" Naturally, I looked up and realized that this wasn't my car, and that definitely was not my mom. Of course, I freaked out. I got out of the car and ran back to where my dad was. I told my dad what happened, and he laughed his ass off. When he was done laughing, he went to the woman's car to get the groceries (since I ran away without them). He apologized to the woman and they had a good laugh about it. It was long enough ago now that I can laugh at it, too, but it was definitely not funny for me in the moment. | I got into the wrong car after a grocery store trip when I was nine, and I was severely freaked out. |
t3_19f91t | relationships | I (25f) am pretty sure I just upset my husband(24m) | Back story: We have been together for 8 years, happily (for the most part) married for 4.
He has a friend that he works with that smokes pot. We used to, when we were younger, and before having kids. I am currently 8 months pregnant with our second, and incredibly hormonal.
When I was about 6 months pregnant with this one, DH went to said friend's house to show him a game he was working on. I trusted him, so I said, "Ok, no problem! Just remember that we have somewhere to be at X:XX. Have fun!"
About 30 minutes before we had to BE at said event, I called. And called. No answer. I called his friend's phone, he answered, and I asked him to send my husband home.
I was in the bathroom doing my hair when he rolled in. I wouldn't have thought anything about it, but he was acting weird. So I asked him if he smoked. "Not a lot" was his reply.
I was livid. I instantaneously started bawling my eyes out, and I reminded him that I won't be working after I have baby #2, and that we cannot survive on his current paycheck. He needs to be completely clean in order for him to get a decent job in our area.
He said he wouldn't do it again. OK.
Fast forward to a couple weeks ago... I call him while he's on lunch, and I hear his friend hacking and coughing in the background. I ask him if he's doing something stupid. He said he wasn't, but I'm not so sure. His friend knows how I feel about smoking, and he offered anyhow.
Today, I told my husband that I am uncomfortable with him going over there on his lunch hour. He can invite him over here, but with the history of said friend, I don't trust the guy as far as I could throw him, and the couple times my husband has had a lapse in judgement has been with this guy.
My question is, am I wrong for wanting my husband to stay clean so I can stay home with our children like we planned? | I asked my husband to not go to his stoner friend's house so he can stay clean and get another better paying job. |
t3_2p1ib7 | tifu | TIFU by not doing my research | Reddit, in this day and age where we can find personal information of just about anyone through the aid of social media (e.g. Facebook), I didn't avoid an awkward and embarrassing moment by forgetting to do my homework. Info like date of birth, hometown, place of residence, education, and in this case, relationship status, all could of been obtained by a simple round of Facebook stalking, but I digress...
Some backstory; I'm a single, twenty something college student who took an interest in a coworker of his, but wanted to wait till the end of the quarter, as he and his coworker are generally quite busy. She's cute, seems to enjoy my sense of humor, and we make good conversation, which often manages to go well beyond the small talk of work, school, and weather.
So today, as we work as TA's, we had a meeting with the professor to finish out the quarter. This is when I decide that today's the day, it's the end of the quarter, I'm tired of eating my meals alone, I'm gonna go for it, pull the trigger, be a man. So at the meetings end, I walk out with her, and set my charm to full power, making sure to open doors for her, and in all likely-hood, acting like a buffoon. Eventually as we walk and talk, I ask her if she'd like to go to dinner (in some crazy round about way) and if she'd humor me in doing so, to which she replied, "I'm not sure how my *Boyfriend* would feel about that." (Keep in mind, the subject of her boyfriend had never come up before in the few months I've known her.) So, with my ears burning, and my face bright red, I managed to stammer my way out, trying to play it cool, as we awkwardly parted ways at the nearest fork in the crosswalk.
And now for the "piece de résistance;" We'll likely be TA-ing for the same class, again, next quarter....
*FUCK | Didn't go full creep on my coworker with Facebook, thus, could have avoided being smacked with the awkward and slightly problematic "I have a boyfriend excuse." Now I'm set for an awkward work situation next quarter. |
t3_46xgsu | relationships | Me [16 M] with my girlfriend[17] 1 year 2 months, thinks I'm talking to someone else when I'm not | Hi guys,
So me and my girlfriend have a really strong relationship most of the time. It can be quite stressful because she is currently grieving and my Father is terminally ill. This aside, we try our best to always be happy.
She was on my phone (which I had no problem with) and she saw that I had a conversation with a girl. Perfectly normal conversation, nothing being said that shouldn't. She, (who also has anxiety and depression) assumed the worst and is now going crazy at me, threatening to break up with me etc, saying I'm worthless when I've put everything into this relationship:(
She's said "I'm done" but I know for now it just means she wants me to piss off...
I don't know how to handle this and what to do :( I know it sounds a little stupid to most of you, but this relationship is honestly all I have left and I know I would struggle more than anything without her.
Any replies mean so much to me, thanks! | Girlfriend thinks I have been talking to another girl when I haven't! It was a normal convo. She is threatening to break up with me..What do I do? |
t3_54k9yh | relationships | [20M] How do I make friends? | Some background: I've always been considered the "funny" guy in social situations. Throughout high school I experienced a lot of rejection from my peers. I've never been to a party before because I lost all of my friends in middle school. I used to be pretty chubby, which made me INSANELY insecure and self conscious being around other people which is what started my fitness addiction. I'm stronger than most of the college football players right now and make most other guys my age look like shrimp. Now I'm in a really rough spot. Had a falling out with my gf trying to get pregnant without telling me and I had to delete her from my life, I can't deal with someone who thinks that is okay. I've kind of got one friend, but I'm more of his acquaintance than his friend. We talk a few times a week and that's that. Every time I've tried to get him to hang out with me he comes up with an excuse to not so I've stopped bothering with him. It sucks having no one to talk to besides my parents and people on the internet every day. I can't get a job or drive for reasons I won't go into, just believe me when I say neither of those are something I will be able to do for a while. I'm also not going to college. Pretty much play video games all day, go lift, eat and then sleep. I just don't know where to meet people and make friends with them. Why is it so hard? Everything I read says to go out to bars and clubs but I can't do that yet, or they say to go out with your friends to meet more. It seems like trying to make it in the stock market, you need money/friends to *make* money/friends. I crave social interaction, it isn't healthy to be as deprived as I am. I'd talk to people at the gym, but usually they're in their mid-late 20s and the ones around my age are already there with their friends and girlfriends. | I have no friends, job, car, am not in school, and can't go to bars/clubs. How the fuck am I supposed to meet people and build relationships with them? |
t3_1yuc24 | relationships | Me (29M) with gf of 5 months (31F) and I did something selfish. | Phone formatting apology.
My girlfriend and I have been planning to move out together recently. She found out her landlord wanted his place for himself and she thought now would be a good time to go.
Me being the typical hero type said "let's just move in together!" Way ahead of the schedule I had planned. We've been rocky since we started the relationship and 5 months in is a bit fast for me.
The last few days I've had crippling anxiety because we can't find a place due to our budget and her having a cat from a previous relationship. Last night I realized I really didn't want to move in with her yet. After consulting somme unbiased parties they all said the same thing: if you're not comfortable with it, back out. It's a shitty thing to do but it's your life.
I told her today and she was obviously upset. She told me I am very unreliable, a flip flopper, she can't trust me etc. She tried hard to guilt me into it because she knows I cave easily under pressure.
I feel bad because I did go along with it but I also feel I have the right to express how I feel and stand my ground.
I feel now my only option is to end the relationship. I know the trust is gone and she feels betrayed. I've tried to break up with her 3 times now for various reasons and she always talks me into staying.
Is now terrible timing to end it or does timing not matter much? I don't want to destroy her, she's a wonderful girl and our lives are intertwined a lot already. | told gf I didn't want to move in together, she tried to guilt me into doing it anyway, now what? |
t3_3dgyyk | legaladvice | Witness to illegal activities at work | Okay so this is a throw away just because I'm paranoid and need my job to continue until I find another.
The background is I work for a company that runs background checks on rental applicants, this means eviction, and criminal checks, landlord references all that standard jazz for the industry.
My question revolves around what I understand to be illegal reporting of criminal and eviction records to landlords. I have witnessed people in the office calling up clients and telling them "I'm calling you because I can't legally put this on your application, but I wanted to tell you that so has a couple evictions/criminal cases on their record but that they were to long for me to put those on the report."
My questions are 1. Should I be concerned if I continually witness this, but don't do/say anything 2. Is this a serious enough issue for me to report. And 3. Who should I report this to if it is something worthy of reporting. | My boss is verbally reporting over the phone criminal and eviction records to landlords that are not legally allowed to be on their report. What do I do? |
t3_2wzzhy | Advice | What does one do with a drunk millionaire? | I usually don't talk to strange guys on the street! Some guy came up behind me as I was walking home alone through the snow with my groceries, and drunkenly assured me that he was not a creep and had just exited a nearby hipster bar.
I thanked him for his thoughtfulness but he didn't leave and began to walk with me. He almost immediately mentioned that he was a millionaire, and to prove it, was willing to go and buy me anything right there. He certainly looked like he could be rich, and his behaviour seemed about right for a drunk millionaire.
I laughed off his suggestion, but I don't meet many millionaires and enjoyed this bizarre encounter in my boring life. He kept offering to buy me stuff or to change my life somehow, but I insisted that I was broke but not POOR, and I didn't need him to buy me anything. He ended up giving me his email address but then asked me if I knew where to score hard drugs in my neighbourhood, which I couldn't really help him with. I told him I had to go home and advised him to not do hard drugs and to take care of himself. As I left, he insisted that I email him.
When I got home, I looked him up online...this guy is legit.
So...what would you do in this situation? I don't want him to buy me anything and it hurts my pride to even think of contacting him. I don't think his intentions were to sex me because although we're about the same age, I'm no millionaire's catch, and I have no interest in sexing him, because he's a sloppy drunk and kind of an asshole, and I am also not a prostitute. But, my career is in a rut and this guy might be able to give me some advice or leads on a new job.
He probably wouldn't even respond to my email in the light of day, but...what does one do with a drunk millionaire? | Accosted by drunk millionaire who tried to buy me stuff, asked me for drugs, then gave me his email and insisted I contact him so he could help me in some vague yet intriguing way |
t3_13aobj | AskReddit | Reddit, I pulled my own name out of a hat at a concert to win a guitar. What's something unbelievably lucky that has played a major role in your life? | When I was ten my parents bought me a toy (literally, $50) guitar at a souvenir shop on a vacation. When we returned home we took it took the little music shop around the corner and they told me it wasn't supposed to be played, but they could make adjustments to make it playable (since it was small and I was 10 and wanted to learn to play). They offered me lessons and after about 6 months my 10-year-old patience had ran thin on the guitar so my guitar teacher told me to come to a concert of this really good guitar player who had offered to play at the shop. He said it would inspire me to play. Oh and they're raffling off a guitar. I shrugged and said I might make it. Later my neighbor convinced me to go with him. The guitar player was Richard Gilewitz and he had done things I had never seen on this beautiful guitar. I was front row of about 45 people. At the end of the show he took the guitar he had been playing the whole time and said who wants this guitar. My guitar teacher took up names and shook them around in a hat and, as anxious as I was to win, he called my name to pull from the hat... I was immediately discouraged and thought to myself well there goes that one. I thought to myself well I might as well be fair and stir all the names around with my hand. Head hung low, I handed my guitar teacher the paper and sat down. His eyes lit up and he said into the mic to everyone, "You're not going to believe this.. And looked at me at said, MakeYourself1990, YOU WON!" The music shop closed down shortly after that.. I pulled my name out of the hat of 45 people to win a $700 Olympia Tacoma signed by Richard Gilewitz. That was 12 years ago. I'm now 22 and have six guitars and still play everyday. I took 8 years of formal lessons. I can play anything I'd like. It has affected a big path of my life since it happened at 10 years old. I can't imagine what my life would have been without it and I will play until I die. | I pulled my own name out of a hat at a concert of about 45 people to win my first real guitar and discover a talent that allows me to express myself to no end that I will have forever. |
t3_2chd1s | relationships | Me [20 M] with my [19 F] "friend" of a few weeks; did I do the right thing? | Was seeing a girl for a while, on off. Eventually I started to like her and we did more and more things, but periodically she would say "I just want to be friends". This happened about 2-3 times and each time the "friends" bit would last about a week and then she'd be back for more. The first few times was because she "wasn't over her ex".
Recently, she again decided she just wanted to be friends. I was sick of it because she was still texting me the same amount and what not. She came over to a party I was hosting, and at the time she came over I was pretty drunk and honestly didn't expect her to come at all let alone so late. So I talk to her and its obvious she's a bit distant and ask to speak privately. She tells me that she just wants to be friends and doesn't want to "ruin what we have". I ask why, because it was glaringly obvious she liked me and she responds with "Honestly, it's because you dated this girl I hated a year ago. I don't want her sloppy seconds."
At this point I was furious, told her to leave and never message me again (I didn't yell, just said it calmly) and she did so crying. In my drunken stupor I deleted her off facebook etc. She texted me saying shit like "you deserve better than me" and got really mad when I said its what she wanted and that I couldn't just be friends with her.
Anyway, I'm not too fussed about that; but the fact is she's going to be in my life because she's one of my really good friends friend. I was incredibly offended at being called "sloppy seconds" and tbh it's pretty immature not dating me because I dated her "enemy" a year ago for a bit. So: should I have handled it differently? It's done and over - I don't care too much about it, I just want to know how I should've handled it if at all. I think the facebook deletion was probably an overkill but hey. | Got mad at a girl I was seeing, remove her from all social media and tell her to never message me again. Was I right in doing this or should I have been more lenient? |
t3_f43c7 | relationships | Bad sex marriage. What can I do to make it last? (NSFKids) | I am wondering whether you think my marriage is over.
She complains because I don't want sex with her any more.
When we were dating or engaged or first married we had sex every day. "Are you going to always want me so much?" she asked. I think she was worried it might be too much. "As long as you don't get fat," I answered.
Sorry. I just don't like fat girls. Really a big turnoff.
So sex now is rare. I can cuddle with her and get erect. I can give it to her as long as she wants. I can get her off, no problem. But I can't get off. And it's not like I've been masturbating too much. It's just the visual for me. I close my eyes and try to visualize the way she used to be when we got married, but nothing works – no orgasm.
Ooo. The other night she got on top and her flabby belly was just hanging down on me. I remember when it was her TITS that brushed on me, not that limp sack of flab.
She knows. She's angry at me that I don't get turned on any more. She doesn't want to change diet though. We've been stalemated for a few years now.
But I have ZERO intention of getting divorced. No way. I just don't do that. I am not showing up for my kids' weddings with a date or a girlfriend or a new wife. I'm not dating. I'm not going to have an affair. I can go without sex. I do yoga and work out like crazy. Always have been super healthy. No, I don't need Viagra. I wake up hard about once a week and can bang one out pretty quick, don't even need porn. Just think of an old girlfriend or even my wife, before she got fat. | how long do you think my marriage can last? What can be some keys to make it last, even though my sex drive for her is zero? I'll answer questions if you have any. |
t3_tqy94 | AskReddit | Need advice! | Hey Reddit,
Reddit, I am seeking your advice. I'm a early 30 year old teacher who is confused as fuck about my career and professional life. I've been teaching for the last 5 years with experience in two different countries, two different education systems. Not an experienced teacher by any sort, but already feeling warning signs of unhappiness in the long run. I was once in love with this job (for the kids, and doing things I enjoyed) but came to grips with the policies of our government and board - I recently started a new position outside the classroom this past year, and learned things that made this feeling worse. I feel like most days, they weigh more than the value of my work.
I'm confused about whether or not I want to continue doing this for the rest of my life. Most old teachers I know do it for the paycheque - there's nothing left in them and they are too damn old to change their ways. I am worried I will end up like this - an old fart just doing it for the paycheque, and no other option because it will be the only think I know how to do. I have no backup.
Here I am: considering other options. I don't know how come up with different options for transferable skills or where to begin for that matter. I want a job that I love going to everyday and to be able to cope with the ups and downs and be driven by some strong passion. I know I love dealing with people at work, especially parents, and I can approach any stranger and be able to have a conversation with them. I was thinking a sales position of some sort. Whatever it is, I want a challenge and to be passionate about it. I truly want a job that will pay off with the amount of work I put in. I know the value of my work as a teacher can't be measured, but I need to think about reality and what's more important - my life. I'm going to get married, have kids and want to be able to provide the best to them - on top of having a job that I love doing and I am passionate about.
Where do I start in my search? Any help would be appreciated! | Unhappy with my current job as a teacher due to government bullying and other bullshit, looking for ways to identify my strengths and use them as transferrable skills. Looking for passion, not the sexy kind! |
t3_37i0jk | relationships | Me [24 M], moving to a new city, recently met a [25 F] in said city. Won't see each other for two weeks but I want to keep the flame alive. | Hi!
So I'm moving to a new city in two weeks.
I recently (about two weeks ago) met a girl on Tinder. We really hit it off, and I saw her a lot while I was job hunting in said city over the weekend (Sunday - Monday). Things went a little further than I thought they would, and I ended up staying the night at her place both nights. We had sex. I really like this girl - haven't felt a connection like I do to her with anyone in a while. I got the job, and I'll be moving to the new city in two weeks.
Unfortunately, I won't be able to see this girl for the duration of those two weeks due to how far away I currently live.
I'm not sure if I've ever been in a situation like this before, but it seems like it would be really easy to lose the flame with something like this. We text all the time, but seeing as how I won't see her for a while, I feel it would be really easy to let it die down because of lack of interest or whatever.
I'm afraid I might just be acting insecure, and that it'll be okay. I'm also afraid that she'll lose interest in me without actually seeing me in person.
Anyway I'm very attracted to this girl and I want to do everything I can to keep her around. I'm not the type of person who finds a lot of people that I'm interested in. My last real relationship was around three years ago. I haven't found anyone since who I was even remotely attracted to, so I'm kind of freaking out about this.
Any advice that you have on not letting what we currently have fall by the wayside would be truly appreciated.
Thanks for the help. | Met a girl on Tinder, want to keep relationship possibility alive but won't be able to see each other in person for a couple of weeks |
t3_30p1j6 | relationships | Me [18M] and close friend [18F]. I'm not sure if I should be worried about her. | On mobile, sorry for poor grammar.
So at the beginning of the year | very happy-go-lucky girl opened up about her possibly troubled past and I'm not sure how to exactly handle it because I'm concerned there's more to it. Will pm for more context. |
t3_30ahl4 | tifu | TIFU by dreaming there was a hot girl in the bed next to me. | Recently I took a trip with four other dudes to do some dirt biking in the desert. We had two hotel rooms, two in one, two other friends (we'll call them Brett and Steve) and me in the other. Brett slept in his sleeping bag on the floor, and Steve was in the bed across from me. After wearing ourselves out riding all day, it didn't take much alcohol consumption to ensure we were all sound asleep pretty quickly.
As I'm sleeping, I drift off into a rather pleasant dream where I am in the hotel room, but it's just me and an attractive woman in the room. For some reason, though, she's in the other bed. Perplexed as to why I would be sharing a hotel room with an attractive woman but sleep in separate beds, in my dream I decided to climb in bed next to her, put my arm around her, and see what happened next. The dream ended abruptly when Steve looked at his phone to see what time it was, and to try and figure out why I was in his bed with my arm around him. | I dreamt I was sharing a hotel room with an attractive woman and climbed in bed with her; in reality I climbed in bed with one of the dudes I was riding dirt bikes with. |
t3_xtbbd | AskReddit | Reddit, my boyfriend is in sore need of money. What should he do to keep from ending up on the street? | Kind of a long story, but there seems to be a pattern of unfortunate events that cause him to barely make rent every month. He's 23- graduated high school in the USA and went to college, but was forced to drop out because he couldn't afford it. He moved back in with his dad, and then lived with his brother. His brother enlisted in the US army and failed to show up to boot camp- I believe he moved to hide in Chicago with his girlfriend. So my boyfriend lives alone now, in northern Georgia (economy is definitely hurting there- small businesses want working experience, other options are volunteer positions) working approximately 38 hours a week.
Despite having a food budget of a high school student (~5 dollars a day), there was good news when he was accepted to college in Canada (where I live, yes it's a long distance relationship) that would allow him to finish his schooling and move on with his career. Of course, to travel across the border you need a passport. But then SURPRISE! His late mother was Canadian, so he could apply for dual citizenship! Alas, the procedure and red tape for all of the citizenship papers takes a longer time than expected and cost a bit of cash to process.
Banks refuse to lend to him because of his previous college debts.
I've tried my best to send him money, but because of my own financial commitments I can't afford to send him amounts over 100 US dollars at a time- which unfortunately isn't enough most of the time. He can stay with me when he gets to Canada but that seems so far off as we've been struggling with this situation for a year now. He feels absolutely worthless because of his age and perceived inadequacy to the point where I've seen him be borderline depressed. I need to be his pillar and I don't want to show how much I'm floundering trying to help him come up with options, but I'm running out of suggestions and well... I'm starting to feel really helpless about it, too. He's started to decline my offers to send him more money. | The American south sucks if you're poor and your tiny family is absent/reluctant to invest in you. No jobs, expensive living, school debt, travel expenses. |
t3_4n6tfe | legaladvice | The rented house in California we just moved into is a lemon. All repairs are being done by landlord's friends of family and we we just told that the gas cannot be safely turned on for multiple reasons. What can we do? | Let me start out by saying that the house seemed like a steal for rent in Los Angeles.
The Landlord is an old lady who renovated the house to get it back into shape to be rented out. We looked through the place a few times while it was the process of renovation and before moving in. Each time we were there, we only saw the interior for a short amount of time. The landlord kept acting like she had somewhere pressing to be and any problems we pointed out was met with an assurance that it was going to be fixed.
Now we realize that she pretty much just sloppily threw a layer of paint up and installed the cheapest carpeting she could find. After we moved in, we were able to truly see the extent of damage hidden inside the house and we don't know if it's actually going to be habitable.
The gas company couldn't turn the gas on because of a leak and the water heater is a fire and carbon monoxide hazard with no proper ventilation.
The new locks installed on the doors were done above the old ones. The front door now has two door knobs and a hole where the original used to be. The back door only has one functioning deadbolt and a locking door knob meant for the interior. (No key hole. The type you can unlock with a paper clip)
Oh and the foundation looks riddled with wood rot. | How do we ensure that the Landlord fixes critical issues as soon as possible? Should we hire a house inspector since we truly don't know the extent of problems in the house? What recourse do we have here? |
t3_1k4hk3 | relationships | My girlfriend (15f) and I (15m) have been dating for nearly a year. She's suddenly becoming really religious and it's making me feel kinda weird and I'm not quite sure what to do. | So when we started dating, I knew she went to church. She wanted me to go with her, which I didn't mind. She didn't seem to be too deeply religious, like me. Fast forward about 7 months and we're starting to go further, getting to 3rd base. This goes on for a while, until summer. Then after returning from a church camp, she tells me she wants to slow things down before she does something she'll regret. I agreed and told her I respected her decision and that it's all fine with me. After that talk, things were a little awkward for a few weeks, then stuff went back to normal.
Recently, her church said they would be doing baptisms at a creek in September and she's kinda pressuring me into being baptized. I really don't want to though. I'm still not that religious and it's just not something I feel ready to do. She's trying to make me a mere religious person, but its just something I don't want to do and something I don't really feel comfortable with. I want to tell her that I'm still not that much a religious guy, but I'm afraid that she'll be disappointed in me and be upset. She's been telling me about how she wants to grow up and be a missionary and stuff, which I support her in doing, but I feel like that she wouldn't want to be dating me if she knew that religion wasn't all that important to me. I'm not sure what to do. | Girlfriend is trying to make me more religious, I don't feel comfortable with it. I wanna be honest about it with her, but I don't wanna disappoint her. |
t3_17w5cm | relationships | Girlfriend [25] of 6 months admits she hasn't ever really liked a lot of how I [M, 25] behave, feels bad man. | We met via internet dating, talked non-stop over Skype for 3 months whilst she was travelling the world, fell head over heels for each other, got together as soon as she came back home and have been going out ever since (6 months).
We've had ups and downs and little squabbles like any couple but I didn't think anything of it. We're different people, like different things, do things in different ways and occasionally that rubs each other the wrong way.
This weekend though, she's dropped a bit of a bombshell on me. All the little differences.. e.g. not being as tidy as her, swearing more often than her, laughing at immature things, not being into the same kinds of porn as her (and a list more) have all been building up to the point that she's really upset.
As she put it, she was trying to bite her tongue and pretending not to be bothered by our differences because she wanted to be the kind of girl I wanted. At the same time, she really fell in love with an idea of what I'm like, the man on Skype, and I didn't turn out to be entirely like that.
She was bottling up these little grievances in the hope that if she quietly pointed out things she didn't like about how I behaved, that I'd change and be more like she wanted, in the same way that she pretended to be more like me to make me happy..
My answer was that she should speak her mind, be herself and expect the same of me. She agreed, but now thinks I'll not like her as she expects to end up nagging me all the time. Hurt that she's been holding onto these grievances and expected me to change, half-agree that this could be the end for us. | Girlfriend of 6 months has been secretly upset that I'm not the perfect man she envisaged, expected me to change and admits she has been putting on a bit of a front, acting like there was no problem at all |
t3_3c6113 | tifu | TIFU by trying to be a patriotic. | This took place in the last 15 minutes (so an actual tifu)
So it started off American enough. Went to my roof to watch some local pyrotechnics, had a few beers in me and nice big pint of New Belgium in my greasy, American palm.
Then just as I'm getting comfy cozy, I hear my dog whining to come get some pets.
"OK I'll just bring her onto the roof with me, what could possibly go wrong?"
She gets carried up.
No problems so far, everything is probably just gonna be fine and she'll just sit there and appreciate the thunderous applause of drunk college kids and exploding Freedom...
Nah.
She gets restless and starts to cry and what's to go inside.
*Whowouldathunk.jpeg*
I start to carry her off of the roof (its like a two tier roof so its a struggle but I'm strong af so whatevs)
I get her off sage and sound, she salutes me, thanks me for my service and trots inside.
Here's where I fuck up.
As I start to walk back to where roof base camp alpha is located, I trip and stub my entire foot on one of those vent things that most roofs have.
Ouch?
It stings but I'm a god-fearing, red blooded American so I just kinda shake it off and continue my climb.
I sit down, turn my flashlight on to check the dmg and low and behold, I gashed open the whole top of my foot in a perfect line just above my toes.
Blood spills, I grit my teeth and my girlfriend freaks out.
Now I'm sitting on the couch with a towel wrapped around my foot waiting for her to get gauze from the restaurant we work at about a mile away | sliced the shit outta my foot on my roof. just go to a park to watch fireworks like a normal person. And fuck dogs just get cats or some other rodent. |
t3_q73dv | AskReddit | Invention help, please? | Good day! Yes, this is a throw away account. I'll try to keep this as brief as possible. Long story short, I have an idea for an invention. I'm a pretty quiet and humble person but I do think it's a really good idea. What I do know, having worked in the medical field for a length of time, that this idea is something that would be WIDELY used (even outside of the medical field). While I do have ideas on how to turn this idea into a physical item, I have no idea where to go after that. I've done basic research and have not found any patient (existing or pending) that is related to such an item. The whole patient process seems to be way beyond my knowledge and my budget. I've been lamenting over this idea for months and the longer I'm aware of it, the more I see the need for this idea to come to life.
Where do I start? Has anyone (or someone that they personally know) actually gone through this process? Any help is really appreciated. Thank you for even taking the time to read this. | I have an idea for an invention, am willing to put in the effort to make it a physical item but where do I go from here? |
t3_32uenj | relationships | I'm [29M] not as interested in girl [30F] I'm dating as I thought I was. Don't know how to end it. | So I ran into a friend of a friend at a recent street festival. I had a crush on this friend of a friend last summer but she had a boyfriend. When we ran into each other at this festival, I found out that she was single at the moment. We never really hung out individually but after bumping into each other, we decided to hang out one on one. (So far, so good...)
After the first time we hung out, we had sex. But it wasn't that awesome. We've since hung out 4 or so times since then over the course of the last month. Usually 1-2 times a week, not that much compared to other girls I've started hanging out with.
The problem I'm having is that I'm just not into her like I thought I was (or hoped I would be). She's really cool and I want to like her, but something is missing. I don't want to hurt her, be an asshole, or anything like that. But I really think it would be better if we were just friends. How do I do this without coming across as a jerk? | Got a date with a girl I thought I was into. After hanging otu a few times, it just seems something is missing. I want to like her but don't. How do I end it without being a jerk? |
t3_10i9uz | relationships | In a 6 month relationship with 25[m], I'm a 22[f], he tells me he needs more time to feel passion or to care about our relationship | I'm a bit distressed. We had quite a big fight about me feeling worthless because he's recently told me he needs more time to feel passionately about our relationship, and that he'd probably get over me in about 2 weeks if we broke up as we just haven't been together long enough to establish anything significant.
It took two days for him to call me again to talk about it as he had to do an assignment when we began talking about it. He only called me after he'd finished work and had dinner, after I asked him to, and he didn't text me during the day.
In the conversation it basically came up that his study and work comes before me, and that because he never gets upset, it doesn't worry him that I'm upset and he deals with that kind of thing after everything else in his day is done usually anyway. He says that's just the way he is and he just needs more time to feel something more for me. It really didn't seem to bother him that we might break up, but he said he wanted to stay together and be with me because I make him happy. But again, he feels we haven't been together long enough for it to really worry him.
I told him all of this is making me feel worthless, and he just said don't let some boy make you feel worthless, it's up to you to feel good about yourself.
Am I going crazy or is this not cool? Should I give it more time? | boyfriend isn't giving me the emotional support or passion I need from a relationship, he says it's because we haven't been together long enough. Wait it out or flee? |
t3_gb7md | relationships | How do you tell a friend you like him? | I am a 22-year-old girl. I went on a road trip with some friends, one of whom is a guy I like a lot. He likes me too, but I am not sure if in the more-than-just-a-friend sense. During our trip, we took turns sleeping on the floor, so last night when the only other girl on the trip slept on the floor, this guy slept next to me. I really wanted to cozy up to him, but I didn't have the guts to. I feel :
a) guilty that I even harbored such thoughts about him- he is a good friend, and I feel I am, in some sense, betraying his trust in me (as a friend) by even thinking such things
b) heartbroken already because the probability that we would ever get together is minuscule. He is French, I am not, he is really hot, I am far from it, and my guess is he would DEFINITELY find/have found a much prettier girl. Things would get so awkward if I confessed and found out that either he isn't interested or is already committed.
What should I do? First time seriously in love. | Like my hot guy friend of different nationality, guilty about it and not sure how to handle the situation because apart from the usual shyness, I also do not know how the French react to foreign girls telling them they like them |
t3_2fv6b8 | running | How quickly can I add distance? | I've always been a decent runner, but I've been picking up more interest in it recently. I just moved away to college and the weight room is always packed at convenient times, so I decided to focus on running and some bodyweight exercises instead.
I've been training on what is basically a 9-lap track.
The first week I was doing 2 laps jog 1 lap sprint repeated for 6 cycles or 2 miles. However, last week I decided to focus more on distance and jog/ran 3 miles instead. As of yet I haven't been taking times, but most of the time I am slowly passing the other runners so I'm probably slightly above the average jogging pace.
After week 2 I was very sore and took the weekend mostly off from running. On Friday I ran 1.5 miles just to try to keep myself active, but couldn't go any further because my calves hurt so badly with each stride. I then took Saturday and Sunday off.
Now, we come to the current week. About 4 hours ago I went back to the track to pick up where I left off and easily put down 4 miles. I knew that I had read not to add too much distance too quickly, but I was feeling really good at 3 miles and so decided to power through. Afterwards I made sure to stretch myself out very well, something I kind of dicked around with during my 3-miler week.
Right now, 4 hours later, my legs are feeling like I didn't even go for a run today. While I suspect I might feel them more tomorrow morning, they definitely feel much better than they did last week. | Ramped up from 2 miles to 4 miles in a little over a week, the first week of increases hurt like a bitch but after today's 4-miler I'm feeling completely fine. |
t3_25wuxf | relationships | Me [21M] with my girlfriend [22F] of almost a year. Have not had sex and it is making me feel unwanted. | For some reason, she has not wanted to have sex yet. She's had one night stands and everything in the past with idiots that she didn't even like. Here we are in a serious relationship and she keeps saying she wants to wait. It's making me feel ridiculously undesirable and negatively impacting my self-esteem. We have oral sex all the time. She can't get enough of oral sex, so its not like she is asexual or something.
She keeps saying "It'll happen soon" but it never happens. It's getting to the point where I'm starting to seriously consider cheating as a way to spite her. I really like her, and don't want it to come down to that.
Anyone been in a situation related to this before? | Me and my gf of almost a year haven't had sex yet and its making me feel undesirable. She loves oral but for some reason has held out on piv. Don't know what to do. |
t3_2vdlfm | relationships | How do I (20f) get my family to stop asking me for money. | I have a large family and we come from a poor background. We have always been fortunate though to never go hungry or without shelter.
But my family is always struggling with money, and this school year, I have given my mom about $1200 alone and have not asked her to pay me back. I thought it was a nice gesture seeing how she raised me,even though I really do need the money back.
I am a full time, first generation college student. I have enough stress. The little I am getting in refund checks, I use for food. I don't go out or spend money on myself for fun. My large luxury was that I spent $12 on two perfumes this month, and went to Chipotle. I'm extremely frugal, but sometimes my mom or sister calls me to ask for money and it stresses me out.
I'm 100% supporting myself, and I don't have a job. I have enough stress with volunteer, leadership, and school, and using the money I have saved wisely.
My big thing right now is getting a car.
I am in a place where most kids have to ask their parents for money. But I give my parents gas money to pick me up, and take me places. I'm barely starting out in this world as an adult, and I already can't save properly just to help them out.
If I hadn't given my parents any money since school started in Oct. ,I would have saved close to 6500, but my bank account is at 4000, and I have to let them borrow 100 tonight.
How do I let them know I can't keep doing this without sounding like I am ungrateful of them raising me?
I know they aren't taking advantage of me, but this borrowing money, when I am really just starting my life is a serious impediment to my growth. I'm trying to get a car, and graduate debt free, and them asking for money in amounts of $300, $400, $80, $150, and so on adds up.
I tried telling them that I really don't have money but all they can see is what they don't have, not what they are taking out of me. | My family asks me for money because they are struggling but so am I and I am in college and self sufficient and when they ask for money, it adds to my stress. |
t3_4x6fld | AskDocs | Weird mini-seizures, possibly hypoglycemia? | 24 F
5'4" 117 pounds Caucasian
When I was a kid I used to get little episodes where I'd be standing and suddenly have to lie down for 5-10 minutes before I could move again, I felt kind of frozen and numb the whole time. I started noticing that it happened more when I hadn't eaten in a while, and so I kind of self-treated myself by getting a snack when I started to feel faint, and eventually this stopped happening.
I still get that kind of faint feeling more often than I feel like I should though -- I've never passed out, but it feels like I'm just about to. On a handful of occasions, as an adult, I've had things where it feels like a seizure -- I get numb and tingly all over, I feel like I can't move or respond, and voices get kind of underwater sounding. At least twice I've lost control of my bowels when this happened. I do still notice a correlation between whatever is happening and skipping a meal. Is it really possible that this is caused by just hypoglycemia, and is this something I need to bring up with my doctor? I'm very embarrassed to talk about this in real life because it feels like I'm making something out of nothing, since it's so infrequent and I feel better as soon as I eat something and rest. | I've had infrequent (maybe once a year) but consistent seizure-like events usually after not eating. Is this something I need to discuss with my doctor or do I just need to not skip meals? |
t3_1b5x4m | relationships | What is going on?? [22m and 19f] | When my boyfriend and I first started dating two summers ago, I was essentially just a rebound. We had a summer fling and then went official for about a month but then he called it off. Even though it had only been a few months, I was completely broken. It caught me off guard by how broken I was. About a month later, we started talking again and then eventually dating again. Since then we get along really well, have an excellent sex life, and I love to be with him. He's one of the best things that has ever happened to me, in my opinion. I have struggled with depression, anxiety, and horrible self-esteem, and he's great at helping me through all of this. We get into fights, but no more than the average couple does. There is one thing, however, that has been sitting in the back of my mind since we got back together, and I honestly have no clue what it is. When we're physically together, I love him and want to spend every minute with him. When we aren't physically together (his college is 30 mins from mine), something inside me starts to tell me that I don't like him anymore, or that I find him incredibly annoying. I think this may be some sort of defense mechanism from the first breakup, or even like a sort of vengeful thing. I AM SO CONFUSED BY IT. I want to see a psychologist or something but thought I would consult Reddit first. Thoughts?? | Boyfriend of 1 1/2 years and I get along great but I have a nagging feeling of doubt stuck in my head when we aren't physically together because of a breakup near the beginning of our relationship. |
t3_1poaaw | relationships | Me [22 M] with my long distanceex-girl [19 F] almost 2 years split, it still hurts | I had a long distance relationship with a girl, about a nine hour drive, 2 hour flight, and about a month ago. She broke up with me due to me having copious amounts of stress from everything going on in my life and she "couldn't have that pressure to make me happy". To keep it short, enlistment in the military issues, money issues.
She still talks to me and acts like we're friends but it feels like she hates me every time she speaks.
She also told me she's been seeing another guy for about 2 weeks, unofficially.
I guess what I'm asking is should I do my best to try to fix things? Should I try to remain her friend? Should I move on? How should I handle this situation? | Long distance, she dumped me and I'm not sure if I should try to do anything about it other than sob and sit alone. |
t3_10kl2k | relationships | I cheated in a long distance relationship(28m). Do I just break up with her or do I owe her (29f) a confession? | I've been dating my girlfriend, Anna since June of 2010 so 27 months together. Great relationship that was heading in the marriage direction. I'm 28, Anna is 29. No kids between us. I've been travelling for work since last November and I will be until this November. Mostly in Thailand and Malaysia. Anna and I are both American.
I'll try to keep this brief. I cheated. Details don't really matter. It was more than once and with more than one person. I was faithful the entire LD duration until 4 weeks ago, upon which I lost my mind. I've done a lot of things I'm deeply ashamed of.
We have been doing good with the distance and we try to skype every day and we were writing actual letters to one another and I felt close to her. I thought we would make it through the long distance but I wasn't able to. I've talked this out with some of my coworkers and there are basically a couple camps. Some of my coworkers are basically telling me what happens in Bangkok stays in Bangkok and that she probably has been cheating on me to (I don't know the answer to that. I don't think so but I obviously cannot be certain). Granted these are the guys who helped me get into this situation. The other side is to confess it all to her and then break up with her.
I'm sure we have to break-up. I've been cheated on before. Its the worst. Nothing is ever the same. What my question is does she deserve an explanation/confession of my cheating? A side question, Is there any way our relationship could survive my cheating? | Cheated while long distance. I think this is the end of our relationship. Should I try to save the relationship. Should I confess what I did or just let her move on? |
t3_jifp8 | dating_advice | GF texted another guy "I wanna hang out and see where things go"... | So I just recently started dating this girl (Aug 4) and we've been seeing each other since the middle of June. Everything was awesome until I went to AZ for a week. She had envited to a wedding that week which i was unable to attend. We usually kept regular contact through text but the wedding night she didn't text me once and the next day she said she had drank a lot and was out all night. When I got back from AZ she was acting a little different like she didn't like me as much as before. Also, she really wanted to date before my AZ trip but after I got back she initially denied me when I asked her to be my GF. Anyways, I could sense something was up so I kinda peeped her phone and saw a text message to some guy I don't know that she met at the wedding. Basically in the text list she had said "I'm seeing this guy (me) but there just seems to be something missing..." and " I wanna hang out and see where things go". The guy kinda dodged her advances and there hasn't been texts between them since early august but now I feel like shit. She still hasn't warmed up to me since my trip. She also constantly telling me that "I'm a guy and we're all alike and we can't stay tied down to one girl" like basically saying she thinks i'm gonna cheat on her and she'll dump me if I do. Is that not the most hypocritical thing?? Anyways should I confront her about these texts or should I just give it a little more time? | My gf sent this guy texts trying to hang out while we were seeing each other. Do i call her out? |
t3_3m5kjr | relationships | Me [18 M] with my date [21 F] I planned a date and my parents are getting mad because they dont think its okay at all. I would love to get some advice | Okay so here it is, I am 18 in high school. I recently started talking to a girl who is 21, Shes fun to talk to, very attractive, and I asked her out to dinner on Friday night. I tried talking to my parents and just letting them know, i might be going on a date with someone this friday. Now that I am 18 there is nothing legally wrong with it. but they are very against it. I have talked to my grandfather who is a very big role in my life and he is also very very responsible and he doesn't see anything wrong with it. Technically i can date 17 year old girls as well and anyone 18 and above... but my parents are disagreeing with me heavily. I see where they are coming from as in, they say ill have plenty of time in college and what not. But i dont see anything wrong with a single date... I havent had a date in months, live 40 minutes away from my private school with 400 total kids in the high school where there is no common interest between me and any of the girls. i dont know anyone in the area or the other schools near mine because i have no connections to that area. this date isnt going to hurt anyone but they are being stupid strict on me... I could have lied and not gotten in trouble at all they would have never known. but i felt that there was no reason too because i am 18 and what not and not trying to cause distrust. Can i hear what yall think? | there is a girl who is 21 and i am 18 and i planned a date with her but my parents disagree and i dont believe its reasonable at all... what do you think?? |
t3_hrf7b | GetMotivated | FUCK FEAR. | Standing, staring blankly into space in my bitterly cold darkened room, I realized that the overriding philosophy that I adhere to is fear. It isn't the need to maximize my self interest or do unto other as they would unto you or even just to have fun or be happy. It is fear plain and simple, that permeates almost every decision of my life. Like a terminal cancer, it invades and takes over from my core being. The decision to lie at every opportunity about my social life because I fear people feeling sorry for me, the decision to delay doing work because I am scared that I'm not going to do it properly, the decision not to pay my bills even though i am flush with cash because i fear it will hurt and on and on it goes. I even go through "hobby phases" when I focus on particular topics or activities exclusively for days or weeks at a time because it blocks out thinking about any of the things I fear.
Today, when I was standing idly in my darkened room was the first time I realized the role fear has played in my life. By most external measures, people perceive me as a success. But I know myself. I know I will not live up to my potential, so long as fear is around. I know I can make a positive difference to this world.
Today is the day I say fuck you to fear. You have done nothing for me. No more am I going to let you dominate every aspect of my being. I will fight you with action. I will fight you with interaction. I will fight you with my freedom to choose my actions. With every decision I make, I will repel your influence. Every small victory I have, will never cure my insatiable desire to see you evaporate into an air of meaninglessness. Prepare to die motherfucker. GAME ON. | had epiphany, realized fear dominates my life. Decided to attack it by head on by choosing to consciously make decisions in spite of it. |
t3_1avxch | relationship_advice | [19/m] Terrified of leaving my SO [20/f] for fear of what may happen... | Hello all.
Well, as the titles states, I have a bit of a problem. My SO and I have broken up a few different times over six years for various reasons. The last time we broke up, she took it extremely hard, as in not eating, crying herself to sleep at night, falling behind in her classes, not being able to perform in her sport, etc. We cut contact completely, but still saw each other around campus, and ended up getting back together.
I'm still not happy in this relationship. I've told her this, quite recently actually. I don't want to lose her, but I keep trying to find the answer as to why and if I don't want to lose her as my SO or as a friend. And I keep leaning towards friend. But she is so far into this, is dependent on me in more ways than one, that if I leave she has practically nobody and will be left in the same state she was last time. And she has told me that if it were to happen again that it would be "10x worse."
I know it's not my responsibility anymore if I leave, but I care too much about her to let that all happen again, and feel like I've led her on in some way by still telling her I love her, though she knows I don't know in what way I love her anymore. Essentially, I care so much about her, and do love her still, but don't think it is in the same way. I want the best for her, but this fight doesn't seem worth it to me anymore. Reading what I've written makes me feel so selfish, in that I don't want to lose her so I stay, but I say I care and want what's best for her while knowing that this isn't what's best for both of us.
I don't know what to do, or how to bring this up gently. Anytime there is any fear of her losing me, she gets physically sick, and last time we talked about it she vomited. If anyone has some advice, I'd gladly hear it. | SO's life falls apart if we break up (has before,) and I don't want to let it happen again. But I'm not happy. And I feel selfish. |
t3_2pbh7l | relationships | My [18M] girlfriend [17F] sometimes punches me for fun, makes me turn insane but need to hold it in | So basically we are in a 1 year relation now but i have a very cruel history in school when i was a kid, other kids would always hit me and punch me and that made me really afraid of that even now, but now sometimes my gf jokingly hits me on my head mostly, it is not something that actually hurts.
But here is the big drop, when she does that i just turn insane, imagine a dog that got abused for years and you punch him or kick him, yeah it's that kind off reaction and i just hold in every bit of that rage because i know she is just joking and she is a really great person every aspect of her i love it as much as i can, but when this happens i just lose myself for a moment, but i am not gonna harm her in any way i can control myself to that point i could bet my life on it.
should i just talk to her and tell her to never just do that again due to my past or say nothing?
It feels really embarrasing, being hit by a girl for fun and having an emotional reaction to that, i don't want her to think that i am some emotional wreck. | girlfriend sometimes hits me as a joke but due to my abusive past i can have a very emotion heavy reaction to it. |
t3_1t4se3 | relationships | Me [26/F] with my boyfriend [26/M] over 2 years, he says I deserve better | I came home from work today and made dinner as usual, he usual comes home by 6:45 or so (we live together). Today he wasn't home, so I called him around 7:15, and he didn't answer. So I waited and texted when I hadn't heard back. I still didn't hear back for a while so he finally texted me saying he had gone to get a beer with friends, no big deal, just would've been nice if he had texted me so I hadn't spent time making a nice dinner and waiting for him.
So after that, he starts freaking out and saying things like "you deserve better" "I know you hate me" etc etc. He finally gets to I guess what's really been bothering him, I'm a very forgiving person, and I guess he says he feels like all he does is fuck up and I don't do anything wrong, and its caused me to regret being with him. I don't feel that way at all. I love him, sometimes I get a little annoyed but I think all humans do, so what do I do? I don't know how to make him not feel that way, I tried to assure him that wasn't how I feel, but he doesn't believe me. He says he can see it in my eyes. | Boyfriend says I deserve better and he's a big fuck up, I don't feel that way at all. That is pretty much it. |
t3_24wkc7 | relationships | My husband (M24) sent his mother(F45) a Mother's Day care package but me(F23) nothing for Mother's Day or our 5 year anniversary. | My husband is deployed. Our 5 year anniversary was in Feb. And he sent me nothing. He did call me to tell me happy anniversary though. It's the second year in a row we've been apart for it and the second time in a row he's told me he doesn't want to spend the money on getting me flowers or anything else. I was very upset because last year I spent him a photo album with pictures of us over the years. This year I bought him something for his man cave. I told him last year that I would have appreciated something. It didn't have to be flowers. A letter or email just some sweet notion from him to let me know that he loves. Instead I get the same thing again this year.
I open up my facebook this morning and first thing I see is a picture of all of the goodies he sent his mother. I'm happy that he was thoughtful enough to think about his mom and did this for her. I am hurt however because I feel like he hasn't done the same for me. I'm the mother of his 2 kids and I get nothing. A part of me feels like I'm just being a spoiled brat but I seriously don't even care if money was spent. I just want to be recognized and feel appreciated.
Should I even bring this up with him? Usually I'm all for communicating but this just seems so petty to fight about while he's gone. My feelings are hurt but is it really worth it? | deployed husband sent his mom a Mother's Day care package and sent me nothing for our 5 year anniversary or for Mother's Day |
t3_4y1d5u | relationships | Am I [F,21] falling out of love with my boyfriend [20, M] or is this "normal"? | I've been with my boyfriend for a year now. Since a couple weeks ago, I feel very unmotivated with the relationship. Nothing happened, no fights or anything. It just feels like the spark is gone. I still get kind of excited when we make plans, but more so in a friendly way. We've also moved back home for the summer so we are seeing each other less. I know he's done nothing wrong, it's just something wrong with me.
Am I actually falling out of love with him, or is this just the end of our 'honeymoon stage'? I know relationships require work- what kind of work should I do to come out of this in a positive way? Or is there no chance? Thanks guys. | I think i'm falling out of love with my boyfriend, idk if it's worth fixing with hard work, or if just ending the relationship is the better choice. |
t3_3o7hbs | relationships | My ex fiancé of 7 years dumped me last month but still wants to go on holiday next week should I go? M [23/F] Him [23/M] | Hey,
Like it says on the title, I was with my exSO for 7 years, engaged for 3 of them, however be broke up with me last month about 3 weeks ago, and we are due to go on holiday for 2 weeks on Friday, today he contacted me asking if I still planned on going and he hoped I would, it's all inclusive and everything has been fully paid however it's too late to change names on the tickets, this is important because I don't work and so I wouldn't have much if any money to spend but it's all inclusive so money is not really needed.
I'm 50/50 on this I would love to go but he broke up with me and I don't want to go if it's going to make getting over him harder but at the same time if I do go there's a chance I could get back together with him (and also a chance this won't work out) he broke up with me because of my insecurities (Checking his Facebook in his sleep, stopping him from meeting female friends, etc, the usual "omg I can't believe I did that" when looking back crazy stuff)
What do you guys think, should I risk it and go? | Should i go on holiday with my exSO who broke up with me 3 weeks ago, holiday is 6 days away. |
t3_29gej6 | tifu | TIFU: Getting Wisdom Teeth Removed | So, this was two years ago when I had to get my second and final oral surgery to remove my bottom set of Wisdom teeth that weren't even growing and also tooth that was supposed to be removed from the first surgery, but couldn't( because it played a crucial part to the important part). The main part of the first surgery was to remove 6 baby teeth(although 5 were removed) and 2 unnecessary adult teeth. Also, I'm naturally missing two top teeth which is why I got to keep my upper Wisdom teeth. The main part of the first surgery was to attach a gold chain to an adult canine that was growing near my nasal cavity, and it had no chance of naturally coming down. So, my Surgeon dug through the roof of my mouth and attached the **real gold chain to my tooth** to my last baby tooth. So, basically for 6 months I had braces and not that much teeth. Also, the first surgery was three days after I got braces. **Main Story** So had two get my second surgery. It went really well, except I told the Anesthesiologist that I was 5 lbs over my real wait because I guestimated. I knew something was wrong, but didn't ask to have them weigh me on the scale like to first time. Ended up nearly dying because of Anesthesia overdose. The funny part was that I was so high that the first time I woke up, I tried to remove my IV line; the Nurse saw me and removed it. Immediately after that I fainted. So, I slipped in and out of consciousness every twenty minutes. Sad part was I forgot to ask for my last three teeth pulled out because I have all my teeth pulled out in a collection. **Also, couldn't keep the Gold Chain.** Great experience to say "I know that feeling" to friends who actually get high on drugs. | 13y/o nearly OD because of shyness Here's the link to the picture of last surgery The X's are whats leaving my mouth and you'll can see the proximity of my tooth to my nose. |
t3_33kmv6 | relationships | Going through first break up between me [19M] and my gf [19F] of 4 years. Need advice on moving on. | So my girlfriend and I have been together since high-school for almost 4 years. We had a really great thing going.
But anyways I'll keep it short: We broke up because she wanted to have a boyfriend who is Christian and someone she can marry in the future. She believes that because I am an Atheist we will end up getting a divorce due to differences in how we will raise our kids and such. She doesn't want to stay together at all if theres even a chance of us getting divorced after we get married.
This also happened before about a year ago where we broke up briefly for the same reason. Made up and got back together, but it happened again. At this point, I kinda realize that its hopeless to win her back, so I'm trying to move on and meet new people. But I end up thinking about her every minute of every day and I always end up caving and texting her even though I know I should block all communications with her.
Any advice on how to move on? Thought it would be easy at first, but it's proving to be extremely difficult and stressful. | Broke up with girlfriend over religious differences; Very difficult to move on for me; Any advice on forgetting her and moving on? |
t3_3z8cpx | tifu | TIFU by being on Reddit at work | Seriously, this happened today. I just got off work.
It was a slow day at work, so I decided to hop on Reddit while I was in the stock room walking around to my department's section. My phone went to the mobile site, and I was still logged on under my username I use for DPP (you know, dirty pen pals). Thinking nothing of it I scroll around to see what's on the front page. An older male coworker (I'm a female in my 20s), comes up behind me and looks over my shoulder. He scares me by saying, "Hey, you go on Reddit, too?" I jump and turn around, my screen facing him. I clicked on a link and the mobile shows your username on the top. He looks and says, "What an odd username", then takes out his phone.
I walk away and into the bathroom. A couple of hours later he comes up to me and says, "Those are some interesting things you got on there. But I'll just let you know that I as an older man with a beard, also enjoys tentacles now and then." My face is red after I hear him mention essentially my biggest kinks. I always flirt with him, but now I hope I don't see him for a few days. I'm so embarrassed. Never use the DPP account. | I went on Reddit at work under my DPP username to look at the front page, a male coworker saw my username, looked it up, and now knows all of my kinks and sexual desires. |
t3_2l8kda | relationships | Me [32 F] with my bf [32 M] of 1 year: I suck at jokes. Anyone have advice on how can I be more funny? | My boyfriend of 1 year and I were friends before we dated, and I know his ex-gf as we all used to work together. She is legitimately a very funny woman, and he's talked her up as the "funniest woman he's ever met".
The problem is, I'm not really that funny. I'll get a good joke or zinger in there every now and again, and we do laugh with each other, but mostly over silliness and tickling and stuff like that. The best I can describe my sense of humor is like Pam from The Office. He usually laughs at me, not with me or because I'm an awesomely funny girlfriend.
I have lots of other great qualities, and our relationship is awesome in almost every other way; we communicate well, our sex life is ridic, we enjoy the same things intellectually, our spiritual lives are bolstered by the other person, etc. I just find myself wondering if there is anything I can do to be more genuinely funny, especially because knowing his ex was the "funniest woman he's ever met" doesn't really help my self esteem in this department. He often teases me gently and jokingly about not being funny, and its starting to get to me.
Anyone have any advice on how I can be more funny? | Boyfriend's ex is the funniest woman alive, my jokes bomb hard. How do I not be so sucky. |
t3_4hkuag | relationships | Trying to help my roommate/friend [20 F] out of her toxic, 3 year on-and-off relationship | In September I moved in with 2 girls I had never met for our junior year of college. I have become great friends with both of them and care about them. One of them, "Kate" has been in an on-again off-again relationship with a guy "Brian" for over 3 years now.
A brief list of only some of the shit he has done:
Did absolutely nothing for her on her birthday, along with not showing up to her party
Left his phone in her car and she noticed he was getting notifications and messages from girls on Tinder (at this point they had defined that they were in an exclusive relationship)
Has been to our place only once. If they hang out, he makes her drive over to his place or PAY FOR AN UBER. (yes, he has his own car)
Was completely uninterested in seeing her family or bringing her around his family for Thanksgiving and Christmas
After months of begging, finally agreed to accept her Facebook relationship request only for me to find out he keeps his relationship status on private, so no one can see it anyway
Broke up with her over the phone in January
But, they always seem to get back together. I know it isn't my relationship but I always have to hear about it and I'm getting a little bitter about it. He consistently disrespects her and treats her badly and I hate it. Is there anything I can say or do to her that will make her see the light and end it for good? | What can I say/do to get my roommate/friend to realize that she needs to end her toxic relationship once and for all? |
t3_2gibdc | relationships | Me [26 M] with my GF [26 F] for 2 years, she broke up and she is waiting for someone else to break up so that they can be together | We have been together for 2 years in a great relationship, no arguments and everything was great. she broke up with me a week ago because she likes someone else. I just found out that they are talking and the guy is going to break up with his gf of 5 years so that he can be with my ex. I love her and I miss her and even though I won't be here for her i wanted to know whether or not this is something that will last or not. Is there anything I can do about it or should I just let her go with him? | gf broke up with me for someone else. the guy is breaking up with his gf of 5 years to be with her. will this last? |
t3_1hqzjl | relationships | Breaking the NO CONTACT rule | This is weird but I'll keep it short. Here's the deal, I(28/M) expect my ex to contact me either in less than a week or in around a month. i say these specific dates bcz she's traveling.. blah blah blah.
Now I believe the NC rule is great and the logic behind it is sound but in my cases we never really had "the talk". It was awkward messaging and I couldn't really get anything out of it.
Will having a talk now bring us together? Highly unlikely. Will it have any benefits? I don't know, most probably not, lol.
BUT if she calls I'll probably be tempted to answer and would like to know if she moved on even if it hurts me...weird, I know...bear with me.
I want to say something along the lines of(of course this is after she makes contact, I wont initiate it).
Me: "Is there another man in your life?"
Her: Yes
Me: Than there's nothing to talk about.
How it goes from there I don't know but there's a few things I would like to say/point out to her. All in all I'm sick of holding on to this relationship and believe I'm in a mind set where I can speak my mind out without emotions clogging my brain. At the beginning of the breakup I would have love to say "baby come back to me" "I can't live without you" "boohoo" like a wuss but now not so much.
The alternative is to just not answer.
I'm a very prideful creature and don't like to swoop low for most people. I feel my dignity has been...scratched. I'm not a vengeful spree but I feel I'll need this. Or is my brain playing tricks with me?? *sigh*
If anyone has been in a similar situation please shed some light. | I feel I need to break the NC rule. Agree with me or talk me out of it. much appreciated. |
t3_1kszjx | relationships | Me[22F] with my SO [25M] for 1.5 years, stewing with insecurities about his attraction to me | Hey all, so I have been dealing with self-esteem issues since high school or so and am currently in a LTR with my wonderful boyfriend. Now and then, I get overwhelmed with negative thoughts about myself and fear that this will end up pushing him away. He's not aware of the extent of my low self-esteem and I feel like he would find me undesirable if he did.
He's not a very complimentary person (but is affectionate in other ways) so I often find myself aching to just hear that he finds me attractive to just quell my doubts/worries. He will say I'm pretty or beautiful on very rare occasions, and if I dress up for anything he will compliment my outfit rather than how I look in it.
However, he has on more than one occasion mentioned the attractiveness of other girls (celebs, ex-gf's, friends, etc.) which has always left me feeling a bit down. I don't really care about him talking about a celeb's looks but he did mention that his ex-gf had an "inexplicable beauty". He is quick to say that I have a great personality and that we have a really healthy/functioning relationship but it's nice for a girl to hear that your dude is attracted to your physical looks.
Once I'm in a negative thought spiral, I start thinking that he's only with me because it's regular sex and it's a comfortable companionship, that he's not actually attracted to me and any sort of tactile stimulation would obviously arouse him, etc. etc. We have sex often and he's said I'm the best he's ever had but he has never once complimented any part of my naked body or made me feel "wanted".
I have had a couple therapy appointments with campus counselors for my self-esteem and confidence issues but nothing has truly helped yet.
If anyone has any insight on how I should handle this, if you've gone through this yourself, please leave me some comments. | Suffer from low self-esteem, sometimes it gets really bad and I doubt if my boyfriend is actually attracted to me. Realize this is unhealthy and want to change. Advice please! |
t3_3lyp74 | tifu | TIFU by going swimming whilst drunk | This was last month. I was at a house party where after I got exceedingly drunk I thought it'd be a good idea to jump in the hosts pool fully clothed. It was all fun until i got out I was told to get out. In my drunken state, it had not yet occurred to me that not only i didn't have a spare pair of clothes, but I was to wasted to take care of myself.
I fell to the floor and started violently shivering. I honestly thought i was going to die of hypothermia. I was taken into the hosts toilet where I was given a spare pair of clothes to get into. But it didn't end there. After realizing how plastered I was, it occurred to the the others that I would need help getting out of the wet clothes. | What started off as a fun night ended up with me in my underwear in front of everyone, soaking wet having someone changing me. |
t3_4906pz | relationships | Me [14M] with my [15F] crush, I have no clue what to do anymore | Honestly, I think it's time for me to get help. I am so confused what to do and before any of you tell me to move on, I still feel that she likes me a bit
Anyways here's the story. So there is this girl that I received feelings for, most beautiful girl I've ever seen in my entire life, we share a whole bunch of interests and shes really sweet. So right at the beginning, 5 months ago, I started to message her through facebook. Got her number later and we started to text almost every night. She would text me first just about half of the time. She found out that I liked her through mutual friends but still talked to me, which is a good sign.
I gained enough courage to ask her out for lunch, which she then did not reply for a day. After that I texted her "So is that a no?" and she replied with two paragraphs saying that she is sorry and that she is nervous when someone asks her out. Then I said "Maybe instead when you're ready we could go to tims instead to get to know each other more?" She agreed and said "Sounds great!"
So weeks pass on, we still are texting and I never talked to her in real life so I'm thinking that its been 5 months, it's about time we meet up. So I text her saying "Hey, so do you think you're ready to go to tims next week so we can get to know each other a bit more:)?" and then she never replies. She snaps me through snapchat just saying "streak" to keep our snapchat streak... but says nothing about me asking her to meet up. So I then snap her 2 days later saying "Have you my text??" and she opens it and never replies. She then starts snapping to me like nothing happened... This has been going on for a week and basically me asking her to meet up is out of the picture now. I really don't know what to do, I don't want to bring it up again because I feel like this time I am going to be totally rejected. Please reddit, help me): | crush ignored me asking her to meet up after we been talking to each other through social media for 5 months and never talked in real life |
t3_2ehipn | relationships | Boyfriend [21/M] walks around our blindless house naked, makes me [20/F] very uncomfortable. | My boyfriend and I just recently moved into a house together, after living together in a studio apartment for a year. The house we are in has eight very big windows facing the street in the living room/den area, and we don't have any curtains up. Our landlady has asked us to wait, as she'll get them installed by her employees soon (no timeframe on how soon is soon, though). When we lived in the studio, wandering around the place wasn't an issue, as we only had two small blinded windows. Now, it kinda freaks me out that he walks around the house like that, since our street is kinda busy.
I've talked to him about it a couple of times; his "compromise" is to put a sock on himself. He's said that, " Our neighbors make a choice to look into our house, if they see me naked that's on them." I've even gotten him a nice house robe, but he forgets to put it on when getting stuff from that side of the house. I don't know what else I can do, we're very compatible in everything else, this is really the only issue. | My boyfriend walks around the house naked/ rocking a sock; we have no blinds. It freaks me ouut. |
t3_4hmvp8 | relationships | Should I [27 M] little relationship experience what age group should I date? | I haven't dated a lot. I've only had one prior relationship and half a dozen one-night stands. I'm still excited by sex, I don't really have solidified preferences about what I like or who I am.
I'm wondering if I should go for women 18-21 or women closer to my age?
I feel that I really just don't fit in anywhere. If I date someone much younger, it's going to look creepy. There's also a lifestyle difference because I work while she'd go to college. And if they want to date me on the assumption that I'm older and have it all figured out, they'll be disappointed.
If I date someone my age, she's might to expect me to seriously consider commitment which I absolutely do not want to do right now. I'm also worried that I might get taken advantage of, I really don't know how to play any of these relationship games. My last and only relationship was with a 25-year-old and I felt very suffocated in that relationship. I feel like the aspects that excited me, sex, clubbing, exploring, hanging out just didn't excite her as much as they excited me. It's like she's been through it already and she wanted more than just the basics. Acting based on how I actually experienced the relationship just wasn't cutting it. | Given my unfortunate circumstances is it the lesser of two evils to date women closer to my age or women in their late teens, early twenties? |
t3_3sihro | relationships | Me [24M] interested in [23F]. We met each other with 'Lovoo', met/dated once last weekend. Not sure how/what to do. | A few months ago I met Sally when I tested the app Lovoo. We got in touch immediately and exchanged Facebook contact details. I found it interesting from the start and have quickly realized that we often have similar views and we really could talk alot. Although she had promised quite quickly that we shoudl meet each other, it took a very long time. After some weeks/months i wanted to give it up, but i still found her very interesting, so i continued till know, 4 months later.
Since a month ago or something are chatting (nearly) daily and met us last weekend for the first time. A next "date" is already planned, in about 4 weeks, on the Christmas Market. She lives a little further away from me, so we can not take as much spontaneous us. Last weekend we were together something to eat, and walk in the city. The whole meeting took about 5 hours and that was the first time we saw each other, we enjoyed it both very much and had a really great time!
When we chat with each other, we talk very often about private matters, such as dreams, goals in life, and so on. Personally, I'm (still) not in love, but I have great interest in her and think we could make a good pair. I don't know how i can show it to her and i dont know exactly what she wants or feed. It seems like that she isn't sure about what she wants and thats what makes it a little bit harder for me. My question is, what would be the best way to show it to her? Just with some small messages, hints or something else? | Dated a woman last weekend for the first time. Have great interested in her, but know what to do/how to show it to her in the best way. Ideas? |
t3_1ccqem | relationships | [F]23 Dealing with a difficult [M] 26 Co-Worker | I'm a 23 year old graduate assistant (f) at a university. The university hired a new graduate assistant (26 m). He has really, really poor social skills.
He tends to follow people around (he followed my friend (25/f) home once), stand way too close to people,
continue talking at people while they are studying or busy (He's done this to me even after he's acknowledged that I'm clearly busy),
and talks too loudly and out of turn during class. Whenever anyone asks him to give them space or to lower the volume of his voice,
he gets very, very, very upset - no matter how nicely they ask. At one point this semester, I had to report him to the crisis counseling
center on campus because he had threatened to kill himself and was talking antagonistically about one of our fellow students.
He was escorted to the campus crisis center, but since then I haven't seen any change in his behavior, and I don't know if he's getting help. I've been avoiding him lately, as have my friends, but he gets really upset about that and I'm not sure what else I can do.
I'm really uncomfortable being around him. Does anyone have any suggestions for what my colleagues and I can do? | I work with a man who creeps me and everyone else out, but he is really sensitive and gets angry whenever anyone avoids him or asks him to change his behavior. How do I handle this? |
t3_13dzs8 | relationships | Me[22M] and gf[20] are having some problems and my emotions aren't helping by being numb. | So essentially I made this post in /r/breakups about me and my gf who have been together for a year:
That contains the entire story if you want the full low down. But essentially me and my girlfriend decided to have a short break, which we can extend if we need to, to get our heads straight. On the night we broke up I cried like a little baby, literally I haven't cried like that since I was depressed and in a clinic 4 years ago.
Yet since then, I just feel so numb. I haven't cried since, even when she has been sending me messages despite the no contact.(Most saying she just wants me to come back to her but will accept if I don't). So now I'm trying to work out what is wrong with me. WHY can't I feel anything? Am I currently in a bit of shock?
Hell I was playing Journey the other day and had so much fun with a person, when they left I literally thought I was gonna break. My mind was already creating some form of a romantic story and it was just down right weird. Which I thought it was my feelings trying to surface through, but attaching themselves to something else entirely.
And during a time I'm meant to be thinking about whether or not I want to stay with her. SO how can I decide that when I earlier tried to force out some tears and nothing came? I know for a fact that if I was in the same room as her I would probably be pouring tears like mad, but is that healthy? Shouldn't I be able to do this on my own? | I broke up to then reconviene with GF in a short time, so that I could think about us, but emotions are numb and don't know what to do?! |
t3_fyvs9 | AskReddit | Need to network my life... Suggestions? | Hey everyone,
So I'm moving into a new place, and in the process trying to organize/simplify my personal and work life and need to figure out the best way organize access to information/media/etc.
What I would like is essentially secure access to my files from anywhere (my laptop, bedroom pc, space ship, etc.). After doing some thinking, my initial thoughts are to set up a small server (which I have, well it's a hp media server, but I figure it's all the same, right?) with access to any files I need stored. I assume from there I can just have access from my laptop/desktop/cellphone/etc if it's always on with a secure login?
Also, as an addendum to this, I was also wondering what everyone's thoughts are on the best way to get access to my files/emails/internet browsing on my tv(s). I was hoping to have a keyboard/mouse at each tv for easy browsing and whatnot. Whatnot of course being porn & reddit.
Thanks Reddit, don't fail me now! | Need secure access to all my files & want to be able access that and more (emails/web browsing/etc.) in the easiest/most efficient/secure/sexy way. |
t3_jtxpc | AskReddit | A friendly reminder about personal info from your Askreddit mods. | Hey Askreddit!
I'm Metaranha. You may have interacted with me at one point or another when you've had a post stuck in spam, or if you've had feedback on askreddit in general.
I wanted to bring up something i've been noticing lately, and that is a lot of personal information being posted about others. Maybe the information belongs to redditors, maybe it doesn't but the rules apply just the same. We've actually bolded it in the sidebar so that it's extra obvious!
One kind of thread i've seen a lot lately are the threads that ask for help finding someone. I know that Reddit has a heart of gold and can't help but jump at the chance to help someone, but with anything, take a moment and think critically. You have no way to prove that you're not doing the leg work for an abusive SO disguising their story. Sure, it's an extreme example, but it *could* happen.
As a guideline, it's best to not post information about anyone else that might violate their sense of safety. Posting someone's address or phone number definitely violates that feeling of safety.
Posting personal information is our one and only rule that we have no tolerance for the violation of. We all deserve to feel that we can access the site without having to go "behind 3 proxies" so-to-speak, and we aren't here as a standing army for vendettas or missing persons.
It's an easy rule to follow, so before you decide to play PI for a complete stranger, use the awesome Reddit critical thinking that i've seen exercised here and remember our rules.
Thanks for taking the time to read! | Every time someone posts personal information in Askreddit, a kitten's leg breaks and a nude native American cries a single tear. |
t3_2y5ou0 | relationships | Me [21F] with my boyfriend [21M] over a year, I don't know what to do about his work. | So my man and I have been together since January of 2014. I love him more then any person I've ever been in a relationship with. I'm 100% convinced he's the man I want to marry and I know his feelings are the same. I think that's why his work bothers me so much.
So my bf (we will call him Justin) works two jobs, he owns his dad's company and he also works a second job. His second job is an apprentice ship. Currently the area he's in has him working from 6pm to 2am therefor he sleeps most of the day. I only get to see him on Sundays.
I fully understand that Justin is working very hard to make sure our future together is amazing and I don't want to take out my feelings on him since he can't do anything about it, but I can't help but feel left behind and jealous of his work. What's the best way to get over these feelings for good? | Boyfriend works crazy night hours and I can only see hi one day a week, this leaves me feeling left behind and upset. What's the best way to get over this? |
t3_iha5t | AskReddit | Want an Annulment, but have no marriage certificate. (Xpost from r/legaladvice) | So here is my story:
In 2000, I was married to my now ex husband in our local church. We were mormon and were not getting married in the temple right away. over 250 people came and we had a great celebration. Signed the marriage license and handed it over to the church.
A year and a half later, we were going to the temple for the sealing ceremony, and needed a copy of our marriage certificate. I contacted my provincial registry only to find out they had no record of our marriage. They had never received a copy of the signed and witnessed license and so there was no official certificate. Turns out the church allowed their secretary to take it home and calligraphy the info only to have it get lost and never reach the proper govn office.
Fast forward to ten years down the line, we are "divorced" (which is just what we say. No actual legal anything has been done) and I am in a three year relationship with plans of marriage. I need to get this taken care of.
I am a student, have no extra cash, and need either an annulment or a divorce. I tried to do online research for my province of New Brunswick in Canada, but annulments and divorces require a marriage certificate. We claimed taxes as a married couple for 3 years, and were married three years before separating for good. | I was married but the government has no record of our marriage certificate. I need an official ending to the marriage so I can move on to marriage with my current guy. |
t3_27t1t5 | weddingplanning | Does anyone else have awkward conversations when inviting old friends? | Ugh... maybe this is just because I'm socially awkward? I've been calling up old friends I wanted to invite - some of whom I haven't seen in 7ish years (since I graduated college). Some of them seem surprised that I called, of course, because I've been really bad about staying in touch since I moved thousands of miles away and I'm not a phone person. However, whenever they are surprised, I start getting really self conscious like "Oh my gosh, is it weird/bad for me to invite them? Did they not consider me such a close friend?" My take on it is that although I haven't seen them in ages, they were a very important part of my life once, and I would feel weird if I didn't at least invite them (even if they can't come). But now I feel silly/stupid whenever I get off of one of those phone calls.
These are friends I saw basically on a daily basis in college , so I don't think it's that weird to invite them even if we've been out of touch for a while. I liked them, enjoyed their company, would love to see them again, but would understand fully if they couldn't make it (and no I absolutely do not expect a gift). I also don't think I am misreading our old friendships - we talked a lot in college and even about personal things at times. We hung out socially a lot (as in nearly every weekend). So many of them also moved really far away, so it's been very hard in the past years to cross paths again.
Is anyone else dealing with similar feelings right now? It almost makes me want to stop calling the college friends because I'm worried that it's been "too long" and they'll just think I'm weird. :/ | Feel awkward calling old friends who meant a lot to me to invite them because I haven't seen them in about 7 years and I'm afraid they think I'm weird. |
t3_2c8ixa | relationships | Me [20 M] with my girlfiend [19F] of 1,5 years, asked me for my facebook password. | Last night my girlfriend said she wanted my facebook password because she is very insecure and she read somewhere on the internet that people who struggle with insecurity had their boyfriend/girlfriends facebook password so they could check up on him/her every time they felt insecure. She also said that all of her friends (girls) have their boyfriends facebook password and the other way around. I said that I would not give her my facebook password because I am not comfortable with her being able to log in and have control over what I do every day. Now she thinks I am hiding something.
Am I in the wrong here? I said that I would happily log on so she could check what I have been up to but that was not good enough for her. She is very insecure to the extent of me feeling that she sometimes monitor me. What I mean by that is that she watches me when we are outside or driving the car, to see if I am looking at other girls and if I am looking at them in a sexual way. Half of the time she sees what "she doesnt want to see" and what I mean by that is that she sees the worst case scenario. She will also become very sad if I like a picture of any other girl or any picture with a girl in it on social platforms like facebook or instagram.
It is getting very annoying, just 30 minutes ago I went to the toilet with my phone and stayed there for a while, pooping. When I was done she asked what took me so long and when I said I was doing number 2 and just surfing the net she asked if "I was sure that was the only thing I did" and if I wasnt talking to someone I shouldnt be talking to. | Girlfriend said she wanted my facebook password and when I wouldnt give it to her she thought I was hiding something from her. Am I in the wrong for wanting my own privacy? |
t3_2zlcsj | relationships | Me [26m] struggling with a breakup with my GF of 1.5yrs [29F] | My ex broke up with me a few months back due to my drug use. I tried really hard to get clean but have had a few slip ups recently. Anyways, i was doing better and my ex and i were talking regularly and she had agreed that if i was sober until September we could try again. Yesterday i fucked up again and she knows and i have completely ruined her trust in me. How can i ever earn it back? I know I want to spend the rest of my life with her but I'm afraid i have ruined my last chance. Any advice? | I have broken the trust of my SO several times and am now seriously committed to getting clean and changing my life. How do I show this to her and earn back her trust? |
t3_4kdrkf | relationships | Me [26 F] recently broke up with my boyfriend [38 M] of over a year, need some coping strategies for loneliness | So I was with my boyfriend for 14 months but we recently broke up because I found out that he was cheating on me. I really cared about him and he was my first long-term relationship, so it's been upsetting but I thought I was coping quite well. For reference, it's been about 2 months since we broke up.
The only problem I'm having at the moment is that I feel very needy and vulnerable. I'm constantly craving contact from friends, family, or anyone who will talk to me. Sometimes, if I'm left alone for long periods of time, I get stir-crazy and it's driving me to distraction.
Unfortunately I work from home, so I don't have the solace of going to work and being surrounded by colleagues. I keep myself busy every evening by going to the gym or to my Tae Kwon-Do classes, and every weekend by going to see friends, but it gets very hard sometimes.
I was just looking for advice from people who had been through similar break-ups with regards to that feeling of loneliness/constantly craving contact from others. How do you distract yourself? What coping mechanisms do you use when you feel panicked or just **need** to talk to someone?
My friends and family have been incredibly supportive, but I don't want to keep being a burden to them like this. Any help would be much appreciated. | Recently got out of a 14 month relationship after finding out my boyfriend cheated on me. Would love some help from people who've been through similar break-ups about how to cope with the loneliness/constant need for contact with others. |
t3_vfybh | AskReddit | A guy insulted my hobby to my face and had no idea he had done so. What stories do you have of people with no tact? | Setup: we were discussing beer and alcohol because we were deciding which restaurant to eat at after a gaming group. There are a bunch of regulars that I hang out with and a few newbies.
The turn: A guy who I've never talked to before says "I think beer tastes like ass."
The retort by me: "Hey now, I have 70-100 gallons of homebrew beer at my place at any given time." (I was trying to play it off)
The statement by him: "You have 70 gallons of ass at your place."
Me: (I honestly had no response)
Basically, he insulted my hobby to my face. Imagine saying "All modern art could be drawn by a child throwing paint." To which someone replies, "Actually, I'm a modern artist." Only to say in reply "Your art could be done by a child." | A guy called 70 gallons of homebrew he had never tasted at my apartment "ass" and didn't realize this might be offensive. |
t3_3j2gbv | legaladvice | Adderall Trouble Regarding Re-Entry To United States | A close acquaintance of mine (we'll call this person Jack) was caught with possession of Adderall several months back and had his finger prints taken with an additional criminal record to go along with the arrest. Fast forward to roughly a month back, Jack traveled to another country and unfortunately lost his "chipped" passport. As Jack is not a US citizen and re-entry back into the US is not possible for him without a VISA or a "chipped" passport, he is very much fucked. Jack has tried to apply for a new student VISA, however it was denied when they found out he had a previous criminal record of Adderall possession. As Jack is a student at a fairly prestigious college in the States, what are his chances of making it back into the country before the start of school? Also if he tries to re-enter the US with an un"chipped" passport along with a travel VISA is there a chance that he will be denied entry, or worse, blacklisted from the country? Also any additional information regarding immigration laws or other possibly important laws will also be greatly appreciated. | Friend(student, not US citizen) caught with addy (in the US). Lost chipped passport. Denied student visa. Quite fucked. Any info would help. |
t3_4voube | relationships | My BF [40M] and I [26F] have been going out for 2 years. I wonder if the extent of his "porn use" is abnormal? | I am 26 years old and my boyfriend (of 2 years) is 40 years old. Just recently I have found out that he has his own YouTube channel that contains a few sexualized videos like girls with massive boobs and no bra, as well as girls twerking. These videos of his had 1.8 million views!
He also comments on sexualised videos like girls twerking and he d say something like "please upload HD" or "please move your body so we can all see it". Also he follows about 100++ twerkers on YouTube.
I ve confronted him about it, and he said he only uploaded the videos because he didn t want to keep them in his computer, that it d be easier to store them on YouTube. He said they weren t for the world to see. However, when I read the description of the videos, he wrote "more likes = more vids!" So it was clearly for the world to see. He also lied about his frequency of watching these videos.
i knew since the beginning that he s an arse guy and he finds big booty sexy, but ever since finding out about the YouTube channel I feel like this is more like an obsession rather than a normal thing. Who the hell follows that many twerkers?! Once he told me that he thinks I should learn how to twerk and that hurts me to the core because I do find it very humiliating. After that he apologised and said he was only joking and didn t mean it.
I just recently had a major eye operation and my dr told me to avoid any activities with rapid head movements. I was upset so i said to my bf "im sad i cant flip my hair when i dance anymore" and he said "it doesnt matter you can still shake your arse". I feel like although he's probably joking, but it seems that he's insensitive about the issue?!
I know porn use is normal amongst guys but to the extent where he has his own channel + commenting on videos + following twerkers seems a bit too much?! Or am I over reacting????? | bf of two years has YouTube channel of sexualised videos and been commenting on twerking videos and also following lots and lots of twerkers!!! |
t3_2jkgiy | tifu | TIFU by accidentally demonizing my boss's wife. | So let me just start this off be saying that my boss is a great guy. I've heard a lot of shit about other Subways in the area, but this one is fantastic. So anyway, I was on shift yesterday, and a food delivery came in. The owner of the store (my boss, of course) was helping one of the managers load the boxes into the freezer and fridge. I happened to be washing dishes at the time, and out of the corner of my eye, spotted a few words written on the whiteboard that we generally use for reminders to do food preps and how much of what kinds of bread to make every day. I didn't think much of it at the time. Fast forward about two hours later.
By this time the food was all put away and the boss had gone home. The manager and I were goofing around when suddenly those words on the whiteboard caught my eye. They read "Helga was here" (all names have been changes to protect all parties involved). So what did I, as the immature 16 year old that I am, do? I erased the name "Helga" and replaced it with "Satan", drawing an elaborate pentagram next to it just for the *Hell* of it.
I assumed this was another worker whom I had not yet worked with (I am still quite new)
It was the boss's wife's name. In didn't find that out until today. Apparently she stopped in briefly while the delivery people were still here to help out her husband. But I didn't know this, and now I , the next day have, just received a paycheck for half the normal amount. I didn't check the check until after I left because had somewhere to be. And now I'm second guessing myself... Did the boss know it was me? Why did he look so unusually stressed when I picked up my check? Did he try to say something to me as I was on my way out? I did really stay around to chat after all (it was during rush). I don't know if I have a job anymore... | I drew stuff on the board and now I don't know if I'm now fired for calling my boss's wife Satan. |
t3_1f8z59 | relationships | My [24/M] Ex-girlfriend [22/f] lives with my close friends [23-24/M] | My ex and I met when she was 16 and I was 18. We dated for 5 years and then broke up because she wasn't into the relationship anymore and wanted to be single. Over the last year, every month or so she would try to hang out with me for a few days, then I'd express my feelings and she would say she "just gets really happy every time I see you" and thinks we "will end up getting married," but isn't ready to get married or be in the relationship again. However, a few months ago I learned that she had been dating and sleeping around a good bit, so I stopped letting her drag me through the mud.
Two of my closest friends [23-24/M] who I'm in a band with just moved in with her a few days ago. I calmly expressed that I wouldn't want to hang out with her, but I can't tell them what to do and if it is the best situation for them, then go for it.
I'm trying to be cool about everything, but I just saw her tonight when I dropped a friend off. I stayed outside, and didn't even speak to her. But, when I left their house a wave of anxiety came over me. I think about her pretty much every day, and have a hard time concentrating on work. It generally makes my life feel like it is in shambles.
I have seen a few other people, but I can't feel much for anyone them, and can barley even have sex. I try to work on self improvement as much as possible and trust that if I'm at a better place, I'll feel good about myself and be confident that she missed out on someone awesome (not to rub in her face, just to have strong self-esteem), but I feel crippled a lot and can't be productive.
I know it was a long relationship, we were young, those typically don't work out, and I will likely find love again, but I still just can't seem to get past all of this.
What can I do to move on without cutting out my friends? | my close friends [23-24/M] and ex girlfriend [22/f] now live together and I'm having a good deal of trouble moving on from her, how can I get past this? |
t3_3z2kj6 | college | I'm 16 and I need to figure out my college education before it's too late. I need your help. | Hi reddit! I hope this is the right place to ask, this was the best subreddit I could choose.
I'm a 16 year old junior in a public high school and considering colleges. I'm in yearbook, DECA (a highly recognized business club), I've been working for 8 months now, and I have an unweighted 3.7 GPA, and weighted GPA of 4.1. I would say that I'm a highly prepared student and college bound.
I want to get into computer programming. I'm not sure what the official name of the major would be or what it would be called, but in the end, I want to program applications and possibly games. I love programming, I've learned java, and I know it is made for me.
I would like to go to college straight out of high school, and in Seattle. Seattle is my dream city, and along with that, it has so many opportunities for computer careers that I believe Seattle is perfect for my needs.
Here's my question: With these things in mind, what would be a good college for me? should I go to a university, or would a technical trade school be better for me? what about community college? what are the pros and cons of my options? to be honest, I don't quite know what I would need to do to get a degree involving programming, but I know that it's what I would like to do. | I want to go to college in seattle and pursue a career in programming. what colleges should I consider for what I'm wanting? |
t3_3vtylo | relationships | My girlfriend well ex girlfriend [21f] broke up with me [22m] because she is afraid of getting hurt need advice. | So we've been dating for a little more than 2 months. She's a great girl we have tons of fun together but last weekend when I was with her things were going great u til Saturday morning when she said I needed to leave. She lost her dad 5 months ago and a friend a month ago. She says she is getting strong feelings for me and it scares here because she doesn't want to be hurt. She has told my friends and her friends that she's never felt this way about anyone before and she has told me aswell so I know she is really into me and I am too. She's been burnt in the past before but I am an honest nice guy I would never do anything to hurt her. I just want a fair chance because I really feel like this could go somewhere. I am willing to help her with this and it wouldn't scare me off at all I am not someone to give up easily and to be honest I haven't felt this way about past relationships before either. I feel she is throwing away something that could turn out throwing to be amazing. She asked for space I just don't know what to do or if there is really a chance. | girlfriend broke up with me saying se needs space and is afraid of getting hurt. I know she is into me. Need advice. |
t3_3iufhk | personalfinance | Promotions/Raises when Employees are Quitting | I should be up for a promotion in the coming few months. I easily have the skills to be promoted right now, but my company seems to do anything in its power to stop lower level employees from advancing. For example, I easily have the skills of the next position above me, and about half of the skills 2 positions above me. But I need to have 2 years experience for the next position, so "I can't be promoted."
Over the past 12 months, we have had almost every person at my level and one above quit, leaving a void. We have hired a bunch (10 or so) of employees one level below me. Furthermore, I have skills and interests that only 2 or 3 other people have (in an office of 50). We are also about 10 employees short of making all of our obligations for completing work.
One of my coworkers just received a promotion, and a shitty pay increase, I'm guessing about 5%. I assume that I'll get something similar, and I view that as unacceptable. I am looking for a 10% increase. Would it be rude of me to to negotiate a pay increase with the person congratulating me on getting promoted? I would make the argument that my skillset, interests and experience fill a void which has grown larger over the past year or so, and that I easily have half the skills of the position above me.
It's not that I don't like my job or anything. My team is great, my manager is great, but there is this barrier between lower/mid level employees like myself with regards to salary, advancement criteria, and bonuses that seems to be impenetrable and I do not like this one bit. | hopefully getting promoted soon. Should I use the fact that many experienced employees quit, only to be replaced by inexperienced employees to my advantage when negotiating a salary increase? |
t3_14cez4 | relationships | How do you feel about relationships when one party has residual feelings for an ex? [18F/21M] | Recently I [21M] started talking to this girl [18F] and we got along surprisingly well considering how different our personalities are. But, as they say 'opposites attract'. Anyways, after ~a month of getting to know each other (and 1 highly intimate encounter) she tells me that she's very confused and doesn't know what she wants and thinks it'd be better if we just remained friends.
The thing is, not long before I met her, she was in a relationship with another guy. She says, "he was my first everything," but he was from France and his VISA expired so he had to move back. So, her confusing stems from a perfectly healthy relationship ending much too soon.
Personally, I completely understand her decision. I don't necessarily like it, but I don't want to try and change her mind. Nor do I want to wait and see if she 'gets over' this guy. I've done the same thing to other girls, but this is the first time I've been on the receiving end of this treatment. | Girl [18F] 'friendzones' me [21M] after a month of 'getting to know each other' because she still has feelings for her ex-boyfriend in France. |
t3_2gtmtx | personalfinance | Breaking my Lease. | I currently live in Corpus Christi Texas. I had to get an apartment in the area in a hurry because of my divorce. Since I was only working part time , at the time of my divorce (Thanks ex-wife for telling me to take it easy for a year) I was unable to sign the lease by myself and needed someone to co-sign. FOr many reasons I got my ex-wife to co-sign for me.
The problem. I work in a COmission Based Job. The sales here in Corpus are terrible. I'm making 30% less per pay check than when I was working in Austin. I want to move back to Austin. My Lease doesnt end till April 2015.
So, if I break my lease...who pays? I can't afford to give them any money. I'll need that money for moving and getting a new place. Does the debt it just "transfer" over to the co-signer after a certain amount of time, or do I need to tell them "I'm broke, go after her". | I'm breaking my lease and fucking my ex wife over, I want to make sure she pays the fees not me. How do I do this? |
t3_1gjgft | tifu | TIFU by missing a job interview | Today I had an interview scheduled with a bank for a helpdesk position. I was scheduled to go in for 2:45 PM, fill out paperwork and have the interview at 3:00 PM. I arrived at the bank at 2:45 PM, checked in with the receptionist who told me to fill out an application while she checks in with the IT department. She then tells me that my appointment was at 2:00 PM, and to fill out the application, and that someone would call me. I went home and checked the laptop I was using to take notes when I called about the positon. On the desktop I had a file, timestamped Jun 12, 2013 created @ 11:50AM, which said that I was supposed to show up at 2:45PM on Monday June 17, and that the appointment would last from 3PM-4PM. So, now I don't even know if I screwed up somewhere or whether my perspective employer got the time wrong. The only documented emails I have were the initial contact (Potential Employer saying they were interested), and an email containing a link with mapquest directions. | There was a mixup in the interview time, but I don't know who made the mistake (me or employer). I don't think I'll get the job. |
t3_1v9174 | relationship_advice | (19m) my girlfriend (20f) says she lost sexual attraction to me. what do I do? | So some background information. My girlfriend and I were going out for 4 years then she leaves me for another guy (for 6 months) but comes back to me saying she truly loves me and sees a future with me. I took her back because I still love her. However, she states that she loves in a way that she sees herself spending each day with me "marriage-love" but does not have the sexual attraction love for me (but has it for the other guy instead).Oh yea I forgot to mention that she is not totally over the previous guy and she tells me to be patient for her (since it might take a month according to her). Will things be the same (loving, caring relationship we had before) If I wait and take her back? | girlfriend leaves me, comes back and says she's willing to spend life with me every day but without the sexual contact because she has it for the previous guy (since shes not totally over him). |
t3_lgtgn | AskReddit | What can I do to nurture my 14 year old cousin's interest in computers as a possible future career? | He just started high school, and I feel like finding a way to get him motivated enough to learn something that he enjoys and will be useful down the road could really give him a head start on being an adult.
Backstory: Since he was 5 he's been more or less a part of our immediate family for a number of reasons. He's stayed with my family for months at a time before due to his parents' own issues. My brothers and myself are the closest thing he has to a father figure, so he spends a lot of weekends with us playing video games and stuff. About a year and a half ago I was modding my Wii, he helped out a little and it was obvious he was really interested (more so than before) in tinkering with computers and other electronics. Since then on his own he's learned how to mod his Xbox (which is much more difficult) and he's also been showing a lot of interest in computer culture in general. He's a pretty normal student but doesn't do any real extracurriculars so I've thought for awhile that if I can get him to start learning some kind of programming or something on his own he would be 'streets ahead' when it came time to graduate and start looking at being a real person. In the short time I've been checking out Reddit, I've seen a lot of good advice, and this kind of question seems well suited for the hivemind, so what are your thoughts? | Looking for the right direction to point my little cousin, who shows a lot of interest in tinkering with computers and possibly programming. Thoughts? |
t3_iac8k | AskReddit | How do you organise your digital photos? | I'm finally getting together all my digital photos from about 1999/2000 to present, taken from two laptops and two desktops, as well as countless memory cards and mobile phones.
I'm having trouble getting a good organised system together though. I'm starting by getting folders for each year, then subfolders for each month. The problem is that I've found miscellaneous photo folders on old laptops that are usually named something like "New Folder" or "Camera Stuff" that have a huge collection of what must few three or four month's worth of photos. In these type of folders, there are hundreds of photographs with one or two big "events" (i.e. nights out, day trips, holidays etc) and the rest are just miscellaneous day-to-day photos, or small collections of four or five photos from the odd night at a bar or whatever. The problem is that I'd like to keep the "events" separate from the miscellaneous photos but to have all of the photos organised neatly. Another bit of trouble I've encountered here is that a lot of my very old photos don't have any time or date stamps on them, thereby making them impossible to put in a folder like "2002>June".
As well as this, recently I'm syncing my iPhone photos every three to four months, which all have a few big events like holidays or whatever, and the rest are just snaps that I want to keep, but have no idea how to organise neatly, other than just sticking a "Misc" folder somewhere (which wouldn't be very organised at all.) or just putting them in a folder with the date of the sync (i.e. iPhone Photos May 2011). | what system do you have to organise your photos, keeping all of the miscellaneous shots as well as things like holidays, concerts, trips etc? |
t3_3ib1bg | relationships | Me [19M] with my ex [18F] dated for a year, separated for about 8 months, is constantly posting pictures of herself with old shirts of mine that i gave her. | Well ill try to keep this short for i am a long time lurker and first time poster to this sub and im not 100% how to post thing here other than the rules.
I dated a girl for a little over a year. We were head over heals for each other (or what i could tell) and were together whenever we had the chance. We never really had any "fights" but we would just kind of sit down and talk about problems in the relationship and how we could resolve them. A day before Valentine's day we were having one of those discussions. it ended with her saying she wanted to think about the relationship over the weekend (she was going out of town to see a friends family for this time) and see if she wanted to continue it.
After a couple of days of waiting i finally asked her what was on her mind and she told me she wanted to split. With in a week of that i returned to her everything she had given me/we had got together/things that reminded me of her. I didn't want to have to see things that reminded me of her because i get very depressed after a relationship. but it never works. We haven't said a word to each other since.
About 8 months go by and i decided i want to check how she has been doing on social media. I see that in a lot of her recent post are pictures of her wearing shirts of mine that i gave her and things about how she is single and it sucks.
*NOW FOR MY QUESTION*
Do you think that she is maybe wanting me to see that she is wearing things of mine? Maybe she wants to get in contact and be friends or maybe even get into a relationship again and her way of showing it is wearing shirts of mine and complaining about being single. What do you guys think? | Ex is posting about complaining about being single and is posting a lot of pictures of herself wearing shirts that i gave her during our time while in a relationship. I feel like this means something, does it? |
t3_4rk1wc | personalfinance | Incoming Hospital Bill? | My fiancé got taken to the hospital yesterday for sun poisoning, but she doesn't have insurance until her new job starts (and the insurance kicks in). Meaning, she's going to be out of pocket for these expenses as soon as the bill clears their billing department.
I thought I'd get a jump on researching some of her options for her while she recovers, so that we can get a jump on negotiating the bill down as soon as she recovers.
Currently, she has no income until her new job starts (she just graduated college, but has a signed a contract to be a high school teacher starting in August), and then her first pay check won't be until the end of August. I am currently getting paid through my teaching job, although I'll be without a paycheck until the end of August as I've switched jobs and will be moving from twice-monthly to once-monthly paychecks. | what strategies should I (or my fiancé) employ to talk to hospital debt down? Paying for the services outright is likely not going to be a solution for us. |
t3_wouy5 | relationships | My GF said she hardly wants to be with me but her feelings vanished | I won't tell the whole story, but here what's happened: three weeks ago me and my GF of 3 months had an argument, (it's 3 weeks that we don't see each other, just facebook and text). We clarified, but she went on a summer camp for a week.
Yesterday we talked about it, because I wanted to know if there are no more problems and we can go on. So yesterday she dropped the bomb. She said that "I hardly hardly want to be with you, be you girlfriend and wanting you, but I REALLY don't know how my "real love" feelings vanished. I still "ti voglio bene" (I don't know how to translate it in English: it's something that's important but not as big as an "I love you", it's the next step from friendship), and we're still together, but these feelings vanished and altough I REALLY want them back, I don't know if they'll come back".
I'm... You know... Destroyed. We're both 17 years old and she's my first real gf and I'm giving to her everything I have, and I just don't want to lose her. We're seeing Friday, honestly I'm thinking that seeing each other after three weeks may help, may help her to remember these feelings. But I don't know. I think that it's all already lost. Three months of... emotions, just lost.
She say that she don't know if it will work: that she still want to be with me with a "ti voglio bene" and not an "I love you", and I'm happy of this, because I'll do anything to stay with her, but it's not an easy situation when the feelings for the other are the same.
I am so stupid to desperatly hope that Friday seeing each other will make reappear the "real feeling" she say she has lost? Should I start to be in a breakup mentality?
Please, help. Because I'm really... destroyed. Tonight I slept not more than 10 minutes or something... | GF of 3 months still hardly wants to be with me, but she said that she lost the "love" feeling. We don't see each other since 3 weeks. I'm (hopefully) seeing her Friday. |
t3_4iet6l | relationships | The girl [20F] from a student exchange program that I fell hard for left to go back to the US. I [23 M] spend 3 months with her almost daily and now I'm feeling completely empty, depressed and unhappy. | Hello Reddit,
I am 23 years old student of Psychology from Athens, Greece. To make a long story short, I met this exchange student from the US back in February and since then I fell head over hills for her. We were hanging out every weekend and I saw her almost daily in classes. She was clear to me from the start that she had a boyfriend so thinks didn't get any further besides hanging out, even though I expressed my feelings to her and she said she really liked me as well. When we said our final goodbyes everything was ok but when I woke up the next morning I suddenly felt extremely depressed and empty inside. I stopped eating for a couple of days and I keep waking up very early from the anxiety I'm experiencing. In the beginning I thought this was normal due to the recency of the event but it's been almost 3 weeks and I'm still feeling terrible. I haven't taken this much time to recover even from real breakups from 6/12month relationships I had, which is starting to terrify me. I just have this constant feeling that she was the one and no one will ever come close to her. We still keep contact over Facebook and she is going to make a Skype to we can talk from there as well. Now i feel completely torn between staying in contact with her because i really want her in my life or just stop talking to her altogether in hopes that I'll feel better faster. Any advice? | Fell hard for a study abroad student. She finished her semester and went home. Feeling extremely bad for a long time, starting to get scared that it will never go away. |
t3_2kfw19 | Advice | Should I have been more upset at the guy I caught filming my gf's ass today? | So my girlfriend and I were walking through her college campus today, and at one point we are walking and I see this kid (college age like us) in a group of 3 holding up his phone like he is videotaping, but he is kinda off to the right side of us, and behind us. He is holding up his phone in front of him. We walk in front of them and are about 15 feet off to their right. About 5-10 seconds later I look back and over at them and he has his phone aimed directly at us and when he sees me looking immediately stops and goes to stop the video.
Obviously I am pissed, but my girl doesn't notice it so I just kinda stare down the guy and wait for him to look back at me to see that I'm pissed. He never looks over, but eventually we are about to turn off and go a direction away from these people and the videographer. I walk over and just sternly ask what he is videotaping, he says "the path that we are walking" (he is asian, so he kinda stumbles over his words) and I say "okay well if you filmed anything else you better delete it" and went on with my girl. I wasn't too mean cause its not like I 100% knew he was filming her, but looking back on it he obviously was, but at the time I was giving him the benefit of the doubt.
I am not confrontational at all, and even that was kinda out of character. I always let people flirt with my girlfriend because I'm not overly worried, and know she isnt interested. But this just enraged me cause it just felt inappropriate.
After it happened I was mad at myself for not making sure he deleted the video or really being harder on him about the whole thing. The fact that he probably walked away with a video of girls ass bothers me. | Guy tried to secretly film my girls ass, I caught him and confronted him, but in hindsight feel I should have been more stern/confrontational. |
t3_32z9si | relationships | I [21m] am in a long distance relationship of 2.5 years with [23f] and am a Uni Senior. Had a really good night at a bar with another senior [22f].... confusing situation | I have a long distance girlfriend of two and a half years. We have a pretty healthy relationship. I am actually her first boyfriend so she is just a little slow catching up in certain things.
The other night I went out to a club with some friends and ended up walking home with a girl I met. We had a lot in common and a bunch of mutual friends. I made it clear that I had a girlfriend, but I was interested in hanging out and talking because she was an interesting person and easy to talk to. Also it is my Senior year at Uni and I just wanted to cram in some more memories. We snuggled and talked for a couple hours and then she took me back to my house. Weird thing happened as I was getting out of the car. We kissed goodnight. It just felt like the natural thing to after having such a pleasant night.
I have not made contact with that girl since except for becoming facebook friends. I don't feel like I had any romantic feelings behind the kiss and have talked to my girlfriend and we've chalked it up to drunken college behavior of no consequence.
My issue is I do want to hang with this other girl a couple more times before I graduate in May. I do not know if this would cause issues or what, but I genuinely enjoyed talking to this girl and she seems like somebody I could have been good friends with had I met her earlier in my Uni career.
What do? | Have long distance girlfriend. Had a good PG night with random girl at a club. Don't know if hanging out with club girl again should/can happen, but it is something I am interested in doing. |
t3_10rxr9 | relationship_advice | [28F] My boyfriend [28M] maybe never wants marriage? | My bf (28) and I (28/F) have been together for almost 2.5 years. There have been rough spots, but we are still very much in love with one another. We want the same sort of things from life, we respect each other and we have a very strong physical connection.
I used to be someone who dismissed the idea of marriage, but after we got together I changed my mind about that. Marriage has come up in discussions in the last few months. At first my bf said he wasn't sure that he believed in marriage, but in a later discussion took that back. At one point he said he was thinking about asking me to marry him in the fall, but it later turned out he wasn't serious about this. He has told me that his grandmother has a ring that he'd like to use (without me bringing it up.) One night after we had had a few glasses of wine I just asked him, and he said yes. And then when I started to react (happily) he realized he hadn't understood what I meant and took it back.
So, I guess that's where the issue stands. We've been really happy lately and I don't know why I brought it up again last night. He now just says he doesn't feel ready. That's understandable. I was surprised by this feeling of deep sadness though, and I went to bed to think about it. I don't think he wants to marry *me*. Maybe it's not so, I don't know how I could know that.
My reasons for wanting to get married are romantic. I don't think of it as a trap and I do understand that half the people who get married end up divorced. But I am serious about it and wanting to make that commitment. So, my question is: Should I just give up thinking about it for the time being? What does my intuitive sadness that it will never happen with my bf mean? Do his mixed signals imply anything more than mixed feelings on his part? | The subject of marriage of has been broached, but signals from my bf are mixed. Confusion and sadness. Questions. |
t3_2idm3o | relationship_advice | [27/m] Just ended a 4 year relationship with girlfriend [24/f] and I'm a wreck... but I think I made the right decision | My GF is a wonderful person. Pretty, smart and fun to be around. Over the last year our relationship has just become 'comfortable.' We don't really fight, we have date nights, but everything has become somewhat consistent. On top of all this, social pressures of being together for 4 years have begun to add-up and everyone is asking, including her, when we are going to get married? I've told her before how I want to ease into marriage. Let's try living together first, or talking to a marriage councilor. She is admittedly against living together before marriage and doesn't believe in counseling. I just have doubts that she is the right one, and feel the only way to get past this is to take a step back, and have a break. I've been having these thoughts more and more as of recent, and today I finally brought them up to here and said I think we should take a break.This is my first and only girlfriend, I'm not sure what my next steps should be? | I broke up with my GF of 4 years because I'm afraid she may not be the one. I'm a wreck, now what? |
t3_1l4ww9 | running | How to increase my pace? | I have been running for 2 years so far; originally I started running in order to maintain my health, but recently I have really come to enjoy it to the point where I feel uneasy if I do not run every day.
However, I have a problem: at the pace I am going, I am not really 'running', but jogging. I plan to run a half-marathon in 8 months and would like to complete it under 2 hours. For the past year, I ran 4 miles about 4x a week. This summer I increased my weekly mileage, so I am running 5-6x a week, with two 8 mi runs included each week (others are 4 mi). Distance does not seem to be a problem for me, as I can run 8 miles pretty comfortably and do it again the next day without any problems, but my average pace is ALWAYS 9:45/mi, no matter what the distance. So, I am searching for a strategy or some way to increase my running pace. I am a 16 yr old female, 5"1' and 106 lbs, if that helps.
I often feel ashamed that I am so slow, I always hear of others that have a mile time of 6 or 7 minutes and that that is relatively easy for them. | My average pace is 9:45/mi, no matter when running 4 mi or 8 mi, how can I run faster (and sustain it)? |
t3_yk5k1 | relationship_advice | [23/f], I feel like I'm crazy and have no idea what to do. | Boyfriend (23,m) and I have been together for 5 years. We live together and have been best friends for a long time. Our relationship had its ups and downs, and lately it's been going downhill. We had a fight last week and he told me he was done, and I agreed, but we still live together so it's been rough (I moved into the second bedroom). I was fine, until today - I got extremely sad and couldn't stop crying, I missed him, blah blah. I told him this. After a while I asked him for a hug and he held me, and it felt good. We talked a few things over and are now in friendly/ok terms, but I feel like I shouldn't be in the relationship and that it was stupid for me to talk to him. I am conflicted, I don't know why I feel this way and I have no idea what to do. He suggested couple's counseling but there are some things that are pretty big for me. Why am I feeling this way, why can't I let go, and why am I so stupid? What do I do?! | Boyfriend of 5 years and I broke up. We live together. I missed him today and told him so, we're friendly now and I feel like it was better when we weren't talking. |
t3_wa2lp | AskReddit | How do most of you manage a normal, everyday life while knowing how entirely fucked up our world is? | After just ending a two hour long argument with a once close friend about the state of our country, economics, wealth distribution, wars, etc I have come to the realization that I am an extremely pissed off person and it's fucking with my everyday life. I have a hard time getting to work and focusing on what seems to be an insanely mundane task when feeling that the entire world as we know it is changing for the worse.
How in the hell do I cope with the fact that I bust my ass for 40 hours a week to make $60k a year while some corrupt scumbag can make that in a day?
I grew up in a nice little happy bubble of a middle-class Christian, republican family only to one day find myself knee deep in mud in Ramadi, Iraq fighting in a war that shouldn't have even happened in the first place. The shit I experienced there brought my entire perception of the world, our country, and my brainwashing religion crashing down as I realized what a fucked up thing I was part of. How did I cope with that? The common thing I see by everyone around me is that ignorance is bliss. Ignore the issues, ignore reality, ignore that our government is being used as a tool to completely fuck us rather govern us fairly. It brings me to the point of rage. I've seen fellow soldiers lose their lives fighting for the false ideals we are spoon fed and I can't get over it.
So what do I, as a 26 year old two-time war veteran that is angry and frustrated? How do I become motivated to perform a mundane everyday job earning hardly enough to get by? What do those of you who are smart, educated and not living in a bubble of ignorance do to get by day to day without being angry?
It seems like people feel this way while they're young with little to lose. The longer you're part of the standard corporate ladder, the more time you have invested, the more you're scared to lose what you've accomplished and the less likely you are to turn back. | How the hell do people stay motivated these days when the inevitable truth that the existence of the typical person on this planet is governed and falsely motivated by few? |
t3_3xxif2 | relationships | Me [23M] with my girlfriend [21F] of 1 year, coming out about my drug use. | So, we've been dating for a bit more than a year now but we've known each others for way longer. Things go quickly, we're madly in love, no arguments, we are supportive and everything in this relationship is perfect and we do live together.
The real issue here is that I've started doing cocaine about 6 months ago. It started once with a friend of mine, didn't touch it for about 2 months, then I met some new friends at college and I started to do it about twice a month. It is worth noting that I sometimes smoke pot and she knows it. It's fine with her.
While my drug usage hasn't affected my grades, work, and relationships all together, I begin to think that I should talk to her about it because I actually believe that I could end up marrying her someday.
Now, I'm torn between telling her out of respect and honesty or not telling her because I fear the worst. If I do tell her, she might either be comprehensive and say what she thinks of it or she might actually freak out. Also, since most of my friends are going to be away for about half a year, I wouldn't mind not taking coke anymore and putting a stop to it.
So, my question is, should I tell her and how should I do this.
Thank you. | I've been taking coke for six months and now I want to tell my girlfriend about it out of respect but I don't know weither I should actually do it and how should I do it. |
t3_iqtim | travel | Any advice for a traveler from Nova Scotia regarding healthcare? | I'm from Nova Scotia and spent 2008/09 living abroad in New Zealand on a work visa, and visiting around SE Asia for a few months afterwards. I was gone in total for about 15 months. Of course, now myself and my girlfriend have caught the travel bug, and have spent the whole time since coming back saving up for another work visa trip in Australia. The problem is, anyone I've talked to at MSI (provincial healthcare) says that I have to live in the Canada for at least 5 years before I can live in another country again for a year or more and retain my healthcare coverage. This just seems wrong to me. Healthcare being one of the things that Canadians seem to take a lot of pride in, and it can be taken away for a few fits of wanderlust? I mean, I'm a Canadian citizen, I'm not obtaining citizenship somewhere else, it's just a visit (albeit a long one). I honestly thought the agent I talked to was full of shit, but I've had it repeated upon calling back. Does anybody else from Nova Scotia (or any other province for that matter) have this problem? Are they full of shit? Or if not, should I just not tell them I'm leaving, what would be the repercussions? I know of Canadians, though not first-hand and not from Nova Scotia, who have taken several long trips abroad within short periods of time... does everyone who does so have this problem? Can they really stop my coverage? | Spent 15 months abroad, told by MSI I have to wait 5 years living in Canada before living anywhere else outside the country for the span of a year or more, else lose my coverage. |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.