id
stringlengths 8
9
| subreddit
stringclasses 29
values | title
stringlengths 2
300
| post
stringlengths 1
2.32k
| summary
stringlengths 70
278
|
|---|---|---|---|---|
t3_3kcmb2 | relationships | My boyfriend(22M) just told me(21F) he used to have a thing for this other girl we work with and I really don't want to be a crazy bitch about it. | First of all, I know I shouldn't be so insecure/jealous/upset but I can't help it.
My and my boyfriend have been together for seven months now. We're in love and have an awesome relationship. He gives me absolutely no reason to be jealous or not to trust him. Tonight when we were lying in bed he mentioned that he was "thinking about asking Amanda out a while ago". Amanda is a girl we work with and see quite often.
I felt my heart sink into my stomach. I KNOW THIS SHOULDN'T BOTHER ME BUT IT DOES. ALOT. Me and her couldn't be or look anymore different. She is super religious, friendly, tall and lanky. I am short, have big boobs and butt and am not religious and have a mouth like a sailor.
Again, I don't know why this bothers me so much. It's like eating at me and I don't know if I should say something to him or not. Because it's like what do I even say without sounding nuts? | My boyfriend told me he used to have a crush on a girl we work with. It's bothering me a lot more than it probably should. |
t3_28j50x | relationships | Girlfriend(21/f) and her roommate spending the night at a guy's house, I(19/m) don't have a good feeling about this. | Don't want to make this post too long, so I'll try to keep this as short as possible.
So I've been with my girlfriend, who I'll call Nay, for a little over a year now. She's honestly my best and only real friend. We've had some ups and downs in our relationship, but we've worked through all the problem. Through all this, we've both have had serious trust issues and have been a little possessive from time to time. She's a recently graduated psychologist, by the way.
So straight to it. She recently left to Guadalajara as her school asks for three months of professional work in order to earn her bachiller's(equivalent) degree. However the hospital she applied to asked for 6 months of internship. All cool, I've been trying to be supportive though all of this as much as possible.
Recently, she's been seeing this guy Jay, going out with him a for a couple of weekends. Recently, he invited her to dinner and since Guadalajara is a big city he invited her to sleep over. I know, I know, huge red flag. She has been taking her roommate every time she goes out with him, but I feel this is just a way try to hide something.
Recently, our trust has been through the roof. Higher than it's ever been before. She has assured me that nothing will, happen. Saying her roommate and a couple of other of friends are going as well, but just Nay and her roommate are staying over.
I feel like I trust her, I really do. But this just seems like too much for me alone to handle. Like I've said, Nay is my best friend. The only I can really talk to. But this I just feel like I need some advice.
Am I being over reactive? I didn't directly express that I am not okay with this, but I don't want to be the kind of boyfriend that restricts another human being. I just told her, Okay, as long as nothing happens than it's okay. | Girlfriend and roommate sleeping over at a guy's house, who she's been going out with for a couple of weeks. Told her It's okay as long as nothing happens, even though I have a bad feeling. |
t3_soath | relationships | Grossed out suddenly by my SO... | So we've been going out for about 6 months (her 21, me f24) and everything has been pretty good. We're long distance lately (the past 3 months) so it sucks in that sense, but she comes to visit every month (her schedule allows better for her to come visit). Our sex life was great, kinda. She always thought it was the best part of our relationship (it wasn't really for me, but I liked pleasing her to be honest). Anyways, lately I've been getting grossed out by sex, with her I think more than just in general. This is scaring me and I am not sure what to do. How do I change this? She came to visit this weekend and I felt like a disappointment. Has anyone had this happen? Do you think it's a temporary feeling? Thank you. | I think my girlfriend's hot and has a great personality, but for some reason I am completely grossed out sexually all of a sudden (Her 21, Me 24f, 6months together, past 2/3= LDR). |
t3_1oug03 | relationships | Initiating a relationship within a group | I am a 21yo/M college student, with a tightly knit group of friends, all guys. We have fairly recently acquired a similarly tightly knit group of girls as friends that we include in a wide variety of activities. We engage in hiking, drinking, camping, and other group activities together, and always have a great time.
There is one girl in the group that I have started to grow quite fond of, we obviously have quite similar interests, sports and outdoors primarily. Ill call her Beth. (20yo/F)
Its been ~2 years since my last serious relationship, but I have had several flings since. My big flaw is I always struggle with conversation with a girl that I am interested in and want to get the ball rolling. There have been several instances that have made me think that she has similar feelings towards me, but nothing overwhelming.
Beth is very attractive, but I have never seen her with a guy or heard of her having a boyfriend, and the only guys that Ive seen her with on facebook pictures have been from prom. This makes it tough for me to get an idea on how she acts around a guy she's interested in. She seems to mostly just enjoy the company of her girlfriends and us guy friends.
So here are my questions. Any advice on starting a relationship in a group situation like this? Advice on getting the ball rolling conversation-wise? Any other ideas? Thank you reddit, you are great. | Group of friends with a girl im interested in. Some indication that shes interested in me as well, hard to say. Tough time getting the ball rolling. |
t3_4n1lo0 | jobs | What skills should I learn over the summer to improve my employability? | Hi all, I'm a university student just finished with 2nd year. My degree is in English with Creative Writing. This includes a mix of language, literature and of course creative writing.
I'm pretty stuck on career ideas still, and I only have 1 more year left until I'm released into the working world, so I'm panicking a little. To be perfectly honest, I have no idea what I don't want to do. I have plenty of career options that I'm sure I don't want to do, but nothing really that I definitely want to do. To try and help myself out, I applied for some summer internships in marketing but unfortunately did not advance further than the interview stage.
I've tried to job searching, but it looks pretty bleak to be honest. It's quite disheartening to be turned down for every single job, no matter how simply or menial it may be.
So I've decided to take on one or two new skills over the summer. I have no idea really what I do what to do, so therefore it seems hard to come up with any skills that would be useful. I'm proficient in the basic stuff like Microsoft etc. and I was thinking of learning coding, web design/development, photoshop. I have no idea how useful these may be for my future.
Can anyone help me out this, bearing in mind I'm very much lost career direction-wise? | Any skills I can pick up over the summer that can help me get employed when I don't even know what career I want? |
t3_39wyor | relationships | Me [31F] with my crush [30M] of two months, he wants to be friends, I hate to give up on such a good connection, how do I chill out? | I've been separated from my ex since February, divorced a month. I met a great guy on tinder (from another city about 3 hours away), had a fabulous weekend with him and it was clear we had a really strong connection. The kind where you stay up all night talking and immediately feel very comfortable together. Great sex too although he had some performance issues.
We've visited back and forth now a few times, but stopped having sex. We didn't really address it, I just took it to mean that he wasn't interested in me in a sexual way (I figured that may have been the underlying reason for his performance issues too). But we still slept in bed together in our underwear, cuddled, basically acted like platonic bf/gf.
I thought it was really nice but now I think I just really can't handle it. My ex is moving in with his GF and it's really put me in a spot where I'm sort of desperate for a relationship; I'm not thinking clearly all the time. I feel like I should cool on this relationship but I really hate to lose a connection that doesn't come along often (I've probably been out with 15 other guys with nothing like this connection at all). | Should I cut off contact with a crush who doesn't reciprocate the crush but who is being an amazing friend?. |
t3_532vm2 | askwomenadvice | Got (lightheartedly) told I'm chubby. a bit depressed. Guy apologized to me but havnt responded, don't know what to say back? | So today while in a conversation with a group, the topic of women came up. long story short, but in the middle of it while debating body types, guy turns to me in complete confidence and goes "YOU'RE chubby, they are fat" (in regards to other women in the area we were sitting)
It hit me really hard. much more than i expected. its rendered me pretty useless all day and ive been depressed. i have a very long history of battling my weight, bullied when i was younger and always called chubby. got diagnosed with PCOS some time back and the initial meds i got put on made me gain back a ton of weight i had struggled to lose for years, and havnt been able to get rid of it since...
Anyway, i dont know how to get over it/move on.
As well, the guy had it apparently pointed out to him he might have offended me and messaged me to apologize a bit ago, but i havnt been able to reply back. I usually go "its okay" or "no worries" when someone apologizes - but its not okay. It really got to me. but i dont know if i ***want*** him to know it did, and i dont want to seem petty. what do i do? | got told im chubby, took it too hard and cant get out of bed. guy apologized but dont know what to say to him. what to do? |
t3_1in8kq | AskReddit | Dear redditors, have you ever felt truly mediocre in life ? | I was a brilliant student up till grade 8 and everyone in my family thought that i would be the first among them to get into the best national university one day. I was awful at sports and had NO extra-curricular skills but it never bothered me since I was awesome in academics. but since then my grades fell and by graduation, I was just another average kid.
I ended up in a mediocre college. **I feel like a truly mediocre person and my intelligence, looks, personality and popularity all seem to be that of an average person.** I feel like just another face in the crowd and a total loser who's good at nothing in particular :(
And although my family doesn't explicitly show it's disappointment, I know I've been a huge let-down to everyone, specially my parents who expected a lot from me. | My declining academic performance forced me in a **mediocre college** where I feel like just another skinny mediocre student. NO extra-curricular skills and not hugely popular. |
t3_q8ufw | AskReddit | How should I deal with irresponsible pot dealers bringing violence to my neighborhood? | Here is the gist of the situation. As the title states there are various individuals known to be distributing pot in my neighborhood. I have no problems with people smoking pot, and I think the laws are crazy in this instance, however the individuals that are dealing are bringing violence and gang members into the neighborhood. Bear in mind that this is a middle class neighborhood with MANY young children.
The main problem arose a while back when a deal went bad at someones home and the home owner ended up getting shot, but since he was the only witness and he didn't want to get caught dealing he requested that the police not investigate. Now a completely separate dealer is out smoking on the street with little kids all around and being generally irresponsible.
So my question is, how do I deal with these people? I could quite easily gather evidence and send it to the police, but I'd rather not go that route just yet. I'm open to any and all suggestions. | Pot dealers bringing violence to my neighborhood and endangering young children. How do I make them stop or gtfo? |
t3_1tpgvw | relationships | Me [22 M] stuck in the Friendzone with [22 F] for several months | Summer of junior year, I went to a music festival relatively far from home for two months. I met a girl there, and we became very good friends. I was reasonably interested in her romantically, but didn't pursue it, as I didn't expect to see her again.
Fast forward a year, we both are going to the same grad school. When we started school in August, I decided to tell her about my feelings for her. She told me she only saw me as a friend. However, a few days later, she more or less told me she would still be into us having sex.
We have been having sex more days than not ever since, and for the past month have even taken to sleeping in the same bed most nights, switching between my place and her place. When we are alone, we make out and cuddle frequently (read- pretty much every time and all the time we are alone). However, she still only sees me as a friend. I really think we should be more than friends, and the way we act around each other, I don't see how she can feel otherwise. How can I escape the Friendzone? | Girl sees me as only a friend when we have been having sex, making out, cuddling, and even sleeping in the same bed for months. I want to escape the Friendzone. |
t3_35a4j0 | legaladvice | Pressure washer scratched my car. Can i sue if he refuses to pay. | I stop at a drive through taco joint that recently started serving breakfast. While i was at the window waiting on my food, the guy pressure washing the drive thru put his washer on top of the bushes on the other side of the drive thru. When i pulled out i did not know that the hose from his machine had caught on the under side of my car. so when i spend out into traffic it caused the gun handle (the part that hit my car looked sort of like this ) part to whip around and put a one foot scratch down the side of my driver door. I was already running late to work that morning so i called the taco place to report what happened over the phone. They ask where that part was now and i told them that it was on the side of the road four buildings down. They asked it i could come back at lunch as the GM would be there, I told them i would. I met the GM at lunch showed him the damage. He said that it was a contractor so the chain is now responsible but gave me the guys number and their in house claim ID number along with their 800 number for problems like this. I call the guy he said he was busy and that he would call me tomorrow. it has been a week and still has not called me. So i called him today and he said that he is not responsible for anything. i told him that if he does not meet me i would seek legal action at which time he told me he would call back after four to meet me at the tacobell. So I just want to know is he responsible and does he have to pay for the repairs if he refuses can i sue him for the repairs and court cost? I am not looking to make any kind of profit i just want my car fixed.
I dont know if it matters but i am in Orlando fl | I got fast food, the pressure washers guy hose got caught under my car the machine whip around and scratched my car as i was pulling out, is he responsible for damages? |
t3_1zku92 | relationships | Me [23 M] with my __girlfriend_ [22F] of 2.5 years, broke up with me 5 days ago | Everything was fine the two years. She moved in with me a year in because her dad died and she had nobody to live with. The only problems we would have would be my moms boyfriend being rude to her and she would be upset with it.
Up until 5 days before we broke up she decided she wanted to move out to a friends house. I was upset about this at the start but I understood why it is that she wanted to move out. During these 5 days of her packing everything up in my room and moving it to either storage or her friends house, she would be very distant with me and it just didn't feel the same anymore.
So now it is the day that she moves out and she isn't responding to texts at all, so I decide to call her and ask her to talk because I wanna figure out this problem that we have.
I go to her friends house and start the conversation about us feeling like we haven't been the same as we used to. She told me she agrees and also starts to talk about how she does not love me like a boyfriend anymore. She said the reason why is because we started to have to much of a routine and the relationship isn't exciting anymore.
Now I am to here I have been depressed for 5 days now trying to figure out what happened. We would go out to eat all the time we went on vacations sometimes but we just didn't have the money for it normally. She just deleted me from Instagram and that was the last thing I had of her and now I am even more depressed. | Girlfriend of 2.5 years that I lived with for 1.5 years breaks up with me cause we are in to much of a routine (aka. not exciting). |
t3_1jd18v | Advice | Having trouble with SO's brother | I've been with my SO coming up to 2 years now and I love her to death, but her brother is becoming a big concern to me. She comes from an awesome family and her parents have been very nice and accepting of me (I'm Indian and she's white). But their son if a complete mess, he has a substance abuse problem, mostly with alcohol and weed, and more recently we found out he's been heavily using cocaine.
He's extremely unstable and often has random fits of rage, and he's even gone as far as punching my gf in the face in the past (before I met her). He's constantly referring to me as her 'nigger boyfriend' when I'm not around and constantly harassing his family. I haven't stepped in and said anything only because he hasn't touched my gf yet since I've started dating her and I'm pretty sure her parents don't need me stating the obvious about their shithead son. They have tried everything they could to help him with his substance abuse and get him on the right track but he refuses to give up his current life style and he's practically draining his parents dry of all their hard earned money.
I'm looking for a job now so we can move out together and I could get her out of that home and away from him but I'm growing concerned that he'll attack her when I'm not around and really hurt her. I have no clue what I can do to help her and he's getting worse and worse everyday. | Dating a really sweet girl with a racist brother with substance abuse problems, need advice on what I can do to deal with him and protect her until we can move out |
t3_gno10 | relationships | Should I text my ex on an important day for her? | I'll begin by saying that my ex (19) and I (20) had a bad breakup. The relationship faltered for reasons on both sides but she treated me very badly during the 'friends' phase and then after I let her back in after cutting her out. We broke up at the end of 2009 while at college after a relatively short relationship in which I helped her through a lot of bad stuff but as recently as July last year she still maintained that she 'loved' me.
Anyway, I've always been an emotional blanket for her. We used to be great friends and she told me a lot. I was there for her during some of the hardest times of her life and she trusts me. Being friends with her broke my trust of her. I don't think I'll ever trust her again, but I can't help still caring deeply.
I cut as many ties as I could but it was difficult since we're in the same college, with most of the same classes. She even lives with my best friend at the place (my fault XD). The result of this is that she keeps her distance but still texts me periodically and somehow keeps abreast of what's happening in my life. I was Fraped and had my birthday changed and she texted me. She then did so on my actual birthday and sent a worried text when I was admitted to hospital in February.
She also texted me on what would have been the 18th birthday of a close friend of hers who died. She just wanted to talk to me, but didn't reveal why.
The end of April will mark two years since the car crash which killed her friend and she's never gotten over it. I know she'll feel like shit and I want to be there to talk if she wants. The problem is that I rarely reply to her periodic texts. I keep my distance and try not to initiate conversations. I don't want to give her the idea that I might be open to friendship. I can't do that, as much as I care. Should I leave it?
Also, bitch still has some of my clothes :P. | I cut my ex out but do care. Anniversary of her friend's death is coming up and I want to support her on that day but nothing more. Should I leave it? |
t3_3hhq1j | relationships | my boyfriend [15M] is meeting with a girl who he says is just this 'friend' while I'm [15F] on holiday ! | My boyfriend doesn't let me meet boys or contact them.
He just told me that he is meeting a girl who is apparently just his friend. They have decided to meet while I am away on holiday. When I asked if he could meet her when I get back so I don't feel so helples he declined and said it had to be while I am away. Should I be worried or am I over reacting? They said they are going shopping, I got so annoyed at this because whenever I asked to go shopping he said he wouldn't yet he will with her.
He knows how upset I am about this yet won't chance the date and said he will meet her. Should I be so worried ? | My boyfriend is meeting with a girl while I am away on holiday and can't will not re arrange it for when I am back. |
t3_kpldc | AskReddit | DUDE, How do I become the first woman President? | I'm am nothing but an american 16 year-old teenage girl and this morning I realized that this country is doing pretty crappy. So, if by the time that I am 35 I've decided to run for the United States president. I would create and campaign as the 180 party, because I would promise people to this country in the opposite direction. First,I want to bring back home our army and amazing troops since we have been in war 90% of the time since our country was born and it's time to stop until we have a legit reason to fight. Then, I would the money that would have gone to fighting to our education because I personally am going to highs chool and learning practically nothing with the materials we have. This nation is slowly turning into the movie Idiocracy and that's terrifying. I would do my best to find loopholes and support Gay Marriage I mean come on " Pursuit of Happiness" and "Freedom", what happened to that? Plus, I would try to legalize marijuana. Dangerous topic, I know, but scientifically speaking it does nothing bad to the human body but make it happy. Cigarretes KILL HUNDREDS of people but that's legal? Please this nation needs some happiness during a poor time like this. Note: I Hate the idea of myself smoking marijuana but I'm aware its not terrible. Healthcare? Pregnancy should be free, as well as the Treament of Cancer patients and kids under the age of 10. I do not know much about the power of being President or how to campaign as one which why I would love any advice you have to give. I have years to learn and raise money for this strange ambition of mine. Teach me what I need to know or call me stupid. I just want feedback on this. | I want to be the first honest woman president when I turn 35 and need advice on what I need to know in order to this. besides that I plan on being a Videogame designer. Thanks, and have a great day! |
t3_4u5xek | relationships | I [29 F] defended my dissertation and realize that I was probably kind of an annoying stressball to my friends [30s, 40s, 50s F] leading up to it. How do i apologize? | I defended my PhD dissertation last week (passed, with high praise!). Honestly, I didn't realize how stressed out the whole thing made me until a day or two afterwards, when I realized how much better I felt. For the week or two leading up to my defense, I sent five of my close friends (all but one are fellow PhD students and academics) a few texts/emails about my worries about the defense, basically venting a bit, and just asked them for their support. I don't think I was overwhelming (it wasn't particularly more than I communicate with them in general), and I tried to be responsive to whatever they had going on as well, but looking back on it, I probably wasn't the most attentive/other-focused friend for the two-ish weeks leading up the defense. I feel bad for being such a stressball about my defense, and I want to make it up to them/reward their putting up with me. Any ideas? | I realize that I was a total and probably somewhat annoying stressball before my dissertation defense. How do I make it up to my friends? |
t3_3spy3m | tifu | TIFU by taking my phone to the bathroom. | Mandatory "this just happened."
For background - I generally don't bring my phone into the bathroom with me at work. It usually sits on my desk, since I tend to wear skirts and have no pockets.
Well a few minutes ago I was responding to a text while walking to the bathroom. As I closed the stall door, I realized I had nowhere to set my phone down. Every surface is curved (the toilet tank, the toilet paper dispenser, etc.) I just had the screen replaced - which on the iPhone 6 is obnoxiously pricey. It then occurred to me that the "feminine products disposal" mini garbage can thing has kind of a flat spot where it attaches to the wall of the stall. So I quickly wedged my phone between the back of the little garbage can lid and the wall, and went about my business.
Awesome, right? NOPE. Mid-pee, I hear a solid **THUNK**. Somehow, my phone has slipped into a space at the back of the lid to the garbage can thingy and fallen inside.
After finishing up my business, I had to reach down, through bloody pads and tampons, to the bottom of the container and retrieve my phone.
The best part? The cleaning crew comes on Mondays. Today is Friday. The container was completely full. | Had to dip my hand Fear Factor style into a bucket of bloody pads and tampon applicators to fetch my cell phone. |
t3_26szc1 | relationships | I [F/20] don't know if I can stay with my boyfriend [M/21] of one year. | I've been living with my boyfriend basically since we got together (I needed a place to stay in our college town since I was working there and couldn't stay in my dorm, I had hooked up with him before and he said I could stay with him).
Since then I dropped out of college. I really want to go back this fall but he doesn't want me to since we live in a different, but relatively close by city. We have a lease together but I feel like I'm going crazy. If I ever bring up an issue he just gets flustered and makes me feel like it's my fault. He has gotten physical and bruised me on a few rare occasions. He never does any chores, and then gets mad when they're not done when he wants them to be. He's always stressed and never really wants to do anything. On the rare occasion he agrees to do something he just seems like it's a huge pain for him, or like he's just doing it to shut me up.
I care about him deeply, and I'd stay out of school if I felt like being with him was worth it/emotionally fulfilling but it just isn't and I miss my old life :( | Dropped out of college to be with boyfriend, boyfriend became negligent/an asshole and I don't know if I can keep this relationship going. |
t3_37y19c | relationships | Friend [28F] engaged to older guy [45M] and her mother [60+?F] is worried about her having to take care of him in his later years. | Her mum is worried about the guy having medical problems (not sure what kind) and that her daughter will have to bear both the financial and emotional burden. I don't know exactly what their income status is, I'd say middle-class? I personally think they can make it through any tough times (they've been together for 2 years), and he is always there for her, but that could just be my own naivety. What should I tell her mum besides "they love each other" "they have so much in common" "don't worry" "that's marriage" (they're engaged) etc.? Would really like to hear from someone who's been in a similar LT-r/s or how they go through the tough times? Note: If it's better that I let them sort it out themselves please let me know too. I would just like to support my friend, and show that support to her mum, without saying the same stuff she's already heard from her daugher, so that she doesn't have to be worried about her and be happy for her. | Friend together with older guy, her mum is worried that her daughter will have to bear the emotional & financial burden of caring for his medical conditions |
t3_21fks0 | relationship_advice | (F/26)Got in an argument with my boyfriend (M/27) over credit, am I overreacting? | So my bf is about to get laid off from his job and has saved money for his bills. Well since he is getting laid off he has decided to apply for unemployment. He also decided to just quit paying his cell phone (at) and will go back to his old cell phome company (cheap service, no credit check). Oh and he doesnt care how it will hurt his credit. I have tried to tell him to either find someone to take over or to talk to at and see if they will working something out. Supposedly he did talk to them for help..... that dumb butt added another line to his bill and now is going to quit paying. (He wanted to get a phone so he could unlock it) He told me that he doesn't care about his credit at all and why should I be worried about it.
Idk if I am overreacting but I have just thought so much about it. I even told him what if he wants a new car or a house? And he just continues to say to me that I shouldn't worry about it.
Should I just let this go or idk. Help me out here
Btw sorry for the grammar and such. | bf is getting laid off. Will stop payment on cellphone (has contract) and then added another line. Says I shouldn't care about HIS credit. Am I overreacting or should I not even care about this. |
t3_3coz4n | relationships | Is it possible to "reinvent" a relationship? It's time for me (F19) with (M19) 10 months to grow up. | I've been with my boyfriend since college started and I got with him right after breaking up with someone else. I didn't really have anytime to grow independently. I'm the kind of person who just puts everything into a relationship. I invest all my free time and I just do whatever I can to make that person happy. However, I came on too strong and it caused distance between us in all aspects of our relationship.
Now that it's summer we've spent time apart and I sort of realized how pathetic I constantly feel in our relationship. And most of it is on me for constantly trying to do things for him and being the "perfect" girlfriend and him not appreciating it. I'm in a relationship with a person that starts to see things like talking, affection, and other things as a chore. I'm blaming it on the fact that I just followed him around like a lost puppy and constantly nagging about relationship stuff. And I assumed, just like some of you might, that he was trying to break up so I tried ending things but he wanted to work it out. Go figure.
So what I'm trying to do is change the dynamic. I want to be more independent and I especially want to stop having relationship talks because nothing is working. Basically I'll go from the kind of girlfriend that is constantly trying to entertain him and do everything for him to make him happy to someone that has more of her own life and is less desperate to make him happy. But I don't want to lose him. Previously when I was dealing with some emotional stuff I stopped investing in our relationship and he was pretty unhappy with it. But he's pretty unhappy with me fussing over him as well.
Have any of you been able to change that drastically in a relationship for the better? Am I changing too much of I am for him or is this a big self-improvement?
I would talk to him about this but like I said I'm tired of having "relationship talks". | I was a clingy dependent girlfriend and want to change that completely. Is it possible to change and is it right? |
t3_1z7kj4 | relationships | Me (17M) with my SO (16F). talking over skype, should i feel bad for leaving skype? explain inside | Me and my gf was just skyping, and she was watching a show while we were skyping, for iguess 30-40mins. while she did that i was just doing my things, like going on reddit and watching my shows. She was laughing alot and having a good time, which i thought was nice and all, but after 30-40 mins i wanted to quit skyping since we werent really talking.
i told her i was going to leave, but when i did she started to act in a way which i had done something wrong or i had hurt her. i asked her what was wrong and if i had done something. Her respons was that she had been waiting for me to say something all this time. it's like she is blaming me for leaving her and that i did something wrong! i don't feel like i did something wrong, since she was just watching her show. Also sometimes when i try saying things, all i get back is an "okay" or something like that. i dont always feel like trying to think about things then. i understand that sometimes one dont have anything better to say, but it really just ends the conversation.
i thought she had fun watching her show and that us skyping when both were just watching their own shows were just a little bit unecessary. I'm really sorry if i hurt her, but was i wrong leaving?
And if anyone is thinking that we should break up, its not gonna happen. I love this girl with all my heart, and we dont have alot of problems, its just a couple of small fights. she is a great person and i wouldnt break up over anything this silly! just wondering what people of reddit thinks about it. was i wrong for leaving? | we were both watching different tv series, i left because we werent talking, i feel like the bad guy for leaving. |
t3_3fju27 | relationships | I [26F] and my boyfriend [26M] have different marriage and family views. Move on? | Edit: title typo. Sorry. My boyfriend and I.
My boyfriend [26M] and I [26F] have been together since 2010. More or less we have an overall happy relationship. We have an apartment together, and spend time together, although we do not sleep together at night because of conflicting work hours (not sure if that makes a difference just thought I would put it out there). But we try to spend some of our weekend time together or with friends. Over the last 5 years we have had the typical bullshit fights over who know whats. No cheating on either end or anything like that.
Lately, I am beginning to realize that our relationship may be at a stand still. He has expressed to others that he would never get married if it was up to him. He knows that I want things like marriage and kids. About two years ago we had a long talk about it and I made it clear to him that in the future I want those things and we agreed to stay together and see how things go. Yet our relationship has made no progress in that direction over the past 2 years. His views are still not wanting to get married, etc, if it were up to him, and I don't feel right wanting to pressure him into a commitment if that's not what he wants.
Basically I don't know where to go from here. I don't want to end our relationship because we are happy. But at the same time if it is not going to progress into the things I want, I feel as though I may be wasting my time. I've dedicated 5 years into this relationship with no big problems. I would just hate to give 5 more and never be where I want to be. My thoughts are if I have to start over, I should do it now rather than invest more time, but it's not what I really want to do. | my [26F] boyfriend [26M] of 5 years doesn't express interest in getting married even though he knows that's what I want in the future. Should I move on? |
t3_lgmbo | AskReddit | Would it help or hurt the small town that I live in to report the multiple businesses that pay below minimum wage (my employer included)? | Hey reddit. Kind of a legal question, but kind of a moral question as well.
After getting suspicious of some of payment habits of the owner of the Sandwich Shop that I work at, I decided to check what the law was about minimum wage here in rural Minnesota. As I understand it, state law holds minimum 6.15$/hr for large businesses and then lesser amounts for tipped employees and smaller business. Federal law however, is 7.25$/hr with exceptions for tipped employees as well. I currently make 6.15$/hr and I doubt that the high ranking franchise that I am working for counts as a tipped business. I asked my manager about this and he said that he doesn't think its legal either, but many of the other area business pay that same wage. Of course I could use the extra money, but the town isn't exactly booming and I'm worried that some of the area businesses probably couldn't handle any more expenses right now. If they closed then I and other employees are in a worse position than before. Is there a third and better option?
My research: [](
[]( | Small town has tradition of violating federal minimum wage law. Report them and risk killing jobs and business or just accept things as they are? |
t3_vlpz6 | dating_advice | Met a girl I am interested in, but slim chance of meeting in person until fall. Any advice? | I (23M) was returning home from a trip recently and met a girl (20F) on the plane I was riding. We had a great conversation for the better part of 5 hours during the trip, and I found out that she goes to college in the same town that I am studying in. I felt like there was some chemistry between us, and (I at least) would want to see her again.
The problems are
1. I was chicken and did not try to get her number and
2. she won't be in my town until the fall (since she lives elsewhere during summer breaks).
We are now friends on facebook and I essentially sent her a message saying, "hey I really enjoyed talking to you, and if you happen to be around town this summer, let me know because I would really like to continue our conversation", but I have had no response :/
I am worried about coming on too strong (especially if she is not actually interested in me).... but I don't want her to forget about me if she may have been interested. Should I try talking to her further via facebook? or wait until fall and see if she is interested in seeing me once we can actually meet in person? Or simply give up and let things be? | Met girl during a trip, want to get to know her but can't meet in person until the fall. How should I proceed? |
t3_12er3e | relationships | Is it right for my 30 year old boyfriend to have so many touch-ey platonic interactions with other women? [29f] [31m] | Obvious throwaway...
I [29F] have been seeing this guy [31M] for a while now, and he's a great guy - very considerate and sweet, more than willing to devote his time and attention to cater to my wants and needs, and just generally makes me feel happy and stable...except for one thing: he is seemingly surrounded by females.
His interactions (hugging, going to dinner one on one, grabbing drinks) with them make me really uncomfortable, even though he assures me that nothing will ever happen between them. Furthermore, most of these females are in committed relationships themselves, and from what I've seen and heard, it doesn't seem like their significant others care nearly as much as I do. For all these reasons and a few more that I don't want to say (because they're pretty specific and I don't want him knowing about this post), I'm certain that nothing (hooking up, kissing, crushing on each other) will ever happen between him and his female friends.
We have talked about it, and he said that he'll work on making it less inappropriate when he's around his friends. But now when I see him interact with his friends, he acts almost standoffish to them, and it creates an awkward tension. I know he's trying to be appropriate with them for me, but now I feel guilty because I've kind of come between him and his friends. It's like he doesn't know how to be normal friends with these girls without the hugging and the inappropriate interactions.
To me, it's weird for a 30 year old male to be so physical with so many female friends. Granted, he's kind of touch-ey with all his friends (male and female), but especially with the women, it's not right is it? I guess it would be one thing if he was a 20 year old social butterfly college frat boy, but he's a 30 year old man!
So let me have it. Tell me I'm crazy (or better yet, tell me he's the crazy one here).
No, but seriously, thanks in advance for your comments and advice. | I think it's inappropriate that my thirty year old boyfriend is super touch-ey with his female friends. What do you think? |
t3_345dq8 | relationships | My current bf(m24)...something's off. | He's a smart guy, sweet guy but something is just off about him. We've been together for about four months. When we are alone things seem okay but when we are in a group he says weird stuff out of the blue. Not inappropriate things just random things with a hint of awkwardness.
We went out to dinner one night with a few of his pals that he'd known forever. All of us were looking at the menu and he just said "I think I'm gonna drink so I won't have to drive home tonight." We took my car, I(f22) drove and everyone knew so why would he say that? I know this probably seems silly but I happens almost every time we are around people we don't see often. I guess it's just nerves?
He's done martial arts and carries his gun around often. Not that I anything against people who do that or anything. Sometimes he randomly attacks me(not really) and then shows me how to get out of the grip. Or he'll randomly make scenarios in his head that wind up with him saying that he'd just shoot the other person. I've never seen him get violent with anyone ever though. Am I just over thinking this? | We've been together for four months. Things he says are odd to me. Don't know if I'm over-thinking. |
t3_3t10y3 | relationships | Me 22 M with a girl I have been talking to a lot [19], want to know how what to do. | So I have been talking to this girl a lot since we met and danced at a party. She told me many times we should hang out and watch some shows together.
I am friends with her best friend and she has also asked me a lot about what I feel about her so I know the girl is definitely interested.
Here is the tricky part though. I know she just got out of a relationship (dont know how long) 2, 3 weeks ago because according to her best friend "she wanted to be free".
I am not looking for anything serious and would be happy just to have fun but how do I proceed/what is the best approach to this?
She is amazingly fun and interesting and I've been on a lot of dates recently but this girl is really something special so I do not want to mess this up. | Met girl at a party, had a lot of chemistry and started talking a lot. She recently broke up with ex to "be free". Not looking for anything serious but not sure how to approach this. |
t3_1pfris | AskReddit | Do website CAPTCHAs really need to be so complicated? | Hello reddit,
I was signing up for my 1253rd "temporary" account on a website forum so I could get an answer to this question I was Googling. Lo and behold, as soon as I was about to start signing up, I was presented with a CAPTCHA. Now me and CAPTCHAs have an interesting relationship. I've filled out hundreds, maybe thousands in the past, as I'm sure many of you also have. But this CAPTCHA caught me off guard.
It was so ridiculously complicated that I just couldn't make out any of the numbers or letters. I tried refreshing several times..YES SEVERAL, until I found one that I could barely make out and finally sign up.
Then a few days later, I was signing up for this web app and I saw another CAPTCHA, but this one was a PUZZLE. Like an actual PUZZLE with puzzle pieces that you had to fit together to make a house! Have computers really come so far and hacking tools become so advanced that we need such intricate and convoluted spam controls just to keep websites safe? Or do web admins just like annoying the hell out of people?! Please explain! | Are hacking tools and computers becoming so powerful that we need to create such overly complicated CAPTCHAs like puzzles, illegible text, goofy questions, etc.? If not, what's up with the insane CAPTCHAs? |
t3_2808ir | relationships | Can I [27M] simply call and ask someone [25F] if they would like to grab dinner/drink? | I haven't done the dating game in forever. I may have posted a question similar before. Either way, the girl who cuts my hair is awesome. I've got her number, and friends on FB. Outside of liking each other's posts or a very random text even more sparingly, we don't communicate except when I'm getting my haircut (which is once a month).
She's cool, and I have no idea where she stands on dating or just about anything at all, but we've never talked on the phone (like I said, just very sporadic no-purpose texts, and they aren't common).
Now, I'm not like head-over-heels or anything, but she's pretty cool and I'd definitely like to see if there's something worth pursuing. How do I go about asking her to dinner or to grab a drink or something? I've always adhered to "calling is better than texting" but since I haven't tried to date in a while I'm not sure if that rule still applies? And if it does, would it apply here? Having never spoken on the phone, is it ok to call? | Wouldn't mind grabbing a bite or a drink with girl, but we've never spoken on the phone. Is it okay to call her and ask if she'd be down? |
t3_vj951 | AskReddit | Hey Reddit, I just fed a CARP! What kind of small things have you done to help get over your phobia? | I have ichthyophobia and fish terrify me. It's completely irrational, but the fear has only progressed over the years. I can't even look at goldfish without hyperventilating just a bit.
Today, my girlfriend convinced me to throw food into the lake. I was hesitant, but said FUCK IT NO FISH ARE HUNGRY TODAY.
I was wrong. Dead wrong. A carp the size of my leg swam up and started eating our bread crumbs. It was terribly large, mouth gaping, muscles flexing... Just waiting for me to fall in and eat me alive.
But it didn't. We fed it for about five minutes, and somehow through my bitching and yelping my girl got me through the experience. I am now sweaty, pale, and out of breath, but I did something I've never done before. I feel like I could jump in a lake! Maybe not today... But someday...
So Reddit: how have you faced your irrational fears? Start small? Go big? Electro-shock treatment? | I have an irrational fear of fish and fed a carp for the first time in over 20 years. How did you begin to overcome your phobia? |
t3_1ketld | relationships | My boyfriend's mother [50-ish/F] wants me [21/F] to break up with her son [21/M] because she thinks I will stop him from going to heaven. | I have been dating my boyfriend for about 9 months now, and we are pretty serious. I visited his family this summer and they were very nice people in general. Though one thing I noticed was that they were quite religious and wanted me to become Christian (I'm atheist). His parents expressed their concerns about his son living without God and wish that I would become Christian. Other than wanting to know about my religious preferences, his parents have shown little to no interest about me. Whenever I have to talk to them, if I don't talk about myself they won't even bother asking. Which is a bit difficult because I'm quite introverted. My boyfriend has been quite supportive and understanding, letting me know that I have the freedom to choose my own religious beliefs and that he will try to understand them as well as he can, and I will do the same for him.
Recently, his mother asked me out for lunch and I thought it was a great opportunity for us to bond. Turns out, however, she wants to ask me to break up with her son, because I'm ruining his chances of going to heaven. I was so shocked I had no idea what to say, and finished the lunch and left. I don't know what to do! I know I should tell my boyfriend but I don't know how to even bring it up. I am so horrified by his mother's behaviour, I'm not even sure how to handle it. I don't want to end this relationship because it's been great so far. | Boyfriend's mother wants me to break up with him so he can go to heaven, since I'm an atheist, and in the way of him and God. What do? |
t3_2vfllf | relationships | I [23 M] tried to win back my EX [23 F] of four years, but I regret it | I ended the relationship with my ex about 4 months ago. Although I initiated, we both had a mutual feeling that the relationship wasn't going to work. But over the course of the breakup, I just kept thinking about her: I kept thinking whether I made a mistake.
Last weekend, with all the accumulated tension, I decided to message her. I told her I missed her, and I'm a changed man. I will try harder to make everything work this time. She was being very sincere and tried to turned me down nicely. But the stupid me didn't take in any of it. I became very desperate, almost to the point of begging her. I took advantage of her kindness and destroyed the peaceful ending we had. I regret what I did; I really want to move on, but what can I do? | Called an Ex and tried to amend a relationship. She has moved on, and I still desperately try to win her back. I regret it, and I want to move on. Any help on easing the mind? |
t3_22sv6c | relationships | My boyfriend (19) and I (20F) are planning to move in together | This is the first time I've ever full-time lived with someone else, besides my roommate in college for a year. We've been together for almost 2 years, by the time we move in it'll be about 3.
I know moving in together can cause some issues that can't really be foreseen. However, I would like some advice about something I am worried about happening: when I'm stressed out about something, I tend to pick fights. Living with someone and being in charge of adult stuff can stress people out, so I'm worried he and I will constantly fight. So, excuse my french, but referring to the "I pick fights" thing, how do I knock it the fuck off? | Moving in with boyfriend soon. I'm worried we'll fight all the time because of stress. How can I avoid this? |
t3_13dgb0 | relationships | He [24M] refuses/avoids/never talks about the future even though we've been dating two years. (22F) | my so gets so uncomfortable whenever we broach on the subject of the future. if i even talk about possible future pets he says stuff like "oh let's not get too ahead of ourselves" and if i ever bring up a friend who got married (NOT cause i want to talk about marriage with him, just wanting to share a story about a friend) he immediately finds a reason to end the conversation and head off. I'd be fine with this if we were first dating in the early months or something, but we're at two years now. I have no plans of getting married any time soon but I'd like to hear his opinions at least but he seems so uncomfortable whenever some futuristic grown-up topic might come up. neither of us are really confrontational types, so whenever he cuts it short and i get ticked by the slight rudeness i don't say much and if he really doesn't like the topic he's never bluntly told me that either. can i have some insight please? is it possible that he has zero interest in a possible future with me? | we've been seriously dating for a while and we've never discussed any serious issues ie. marriage/ children etc. do i need to be worried? |
t3_pdpff | relationship_advice | Couple moving apart after college - what to do? | My BF (22) and I (21) both go to the same university and have been dating for the past year. We're both second semester seniors and are graduating this May. I love him but am worried about potentially having to deal with a long distance relationship after college. He has already accepted a job in California, while I am planning on staying in state near my family in Texas.
We have already discussed this somewhat but he keeps pushing it aside, saying he wants to be with me afterwards but will deal with all the issues of seeing each other and making things work when the time comes. Given the resources ($$) I would fly to see him every weekend, but it doesn't seem he is willing to make the same commitment to me even though he has a high paying job lined up. I'm scared that going from seeing each other every day for over a year in college, to seeing each other maybe once a month or less will hamper our relationship. I had a relationship during my sophomore year that was long distance and it was difficult to maintain, and that was only an hour away by driving. I really don't want to lose what I believe is a perfect relationship to something like this. But if we can't see each other as much as we would like (or at least I would like) I just see myself being unhappy for a long time.
What should I do? Is there a way to make this work afterwards? How do I communicate what I want with him if he refuses to address it right now? Any suggestions? Thanks! | BF and I go to the same college, are in a great relationship, and are about to move away from each other for work after graduation. How should we deal with the issues of a long distance relationship? |
t3_2mme9i | relationships | I [25 M] separated from my girlfriend [30 F] of 6 years and moved away. Any advice for the day to day loneliness? | Here is a link to my original thread: [link](
Hi everyone. So as you can see from the title, 7 months or so ago, I moved away from my girlfriend of 6 years. We separated for many reasons, the most important being we had very different long term goals (I wanted a family, I wanted to go back to school, she didn't want kids or to move).
So now I am a few months into school, I am doing extremely well, living with my parents and I've paid off a significant amount of debt. Problem is I feel unbelievably isolated. I've met a few decent friends, but nothing serious. I have met a couple of girls, but none seem to really be interested in me. One girl, who was 19 (ya, I know...) came over, we kissed, then she told me any time she is with a guy it reminds her of a guy she misses in another city and has barely talked to me since...
I am wondering if anyone has any advice for me. I feel like this is a really positive time in my life: I am getting a useful education in Operations, I am making good money and I love my part time job...but I feel worse than ever, because every day and night, I am by myself. Sure, I spend time with my family, but that's just not the same. Anyone have any wisdom for me? | I moved away from my GF and my friends in hopes of a better future but have had no luck meeting girls. Self respect is at a low. Feeling isolated. Looking for wisdom from those who have survived this kind of life overhaul. |
t3_1vanvp | relationships | Me [18F] with my SO [19 M] 2 year relationship, 7 month LDR, I'm starting to fantasise about a friend and don't know what this means or how to stop | I've been having trouble with my(f18) boyfriend (m19) recently.
We're doing LDR for about 7 months now at schools in different states.
The long and short of it is that I love him, but there's been strain having to travel to see him all the time, and being able to actually make time when I'm with friends or busy with work. He makes me happy like no one else and I really can see a future with him.
He did cheat on me once about 2 months back, drunk at a party. We were on the rocks for a while but I'm slowly starting to get over it.
My problem is this - I have a friend who lives on campus that I hang out with quite a lot, who I recently haven't been able to stop thinking about. I dream about kissing him and having sex with him and it consumes my thoughts day and night.
I don't know how to get him out of my head, and I don't know what this means for me and my boyfriend. I'd never act upon it whilst in a relationship, hell, I don't even know if I'd act upon it I don't think he'd even look at me that way.
God I'm just so confused, I guess I just want to know what people think or if they've got any advice. | I'm in a relationship but I'm fantasising about another guy constantly, and don't know what this means or how to stop it. |
t3_1ffnnb | offmychest | I get angrier and angrier at my boyfriend the closer it gets to when he goes home to Germany. | My boyfriend is an exchange student living with my family and we clicked almost right away. Naturally a relationship followed a couple months later. He is leaving in about a month and constantly is telling me to give him some space.
He is definitely an introvert (INTJ) and I am very much an extrovert (ENFP) so that has caused a bit of strain before since he likes his space and I hate being alone, but we ironed the issues out and found a happy medium until a month ago.
I am getting so angry with him as we get closer to his departure date because instead of going out and doing things on weekends he locks his door and does god knows what all day. I only see him when he goes outside to smoke or gets something to eat. I knock on his door and he tells me to go away. I talk to him more via text message than face to face some days. We have been preparing for transitioning to a LDR (getting skype set up for me, getting email accounts just for us...bla bla bla)
None of what he is doing even matters when all I want is physical closeness and time to talk and to go on trips together. He is being a meanie and withdrawing completely. I can't stand each time he says something about getting me ready for when he goes home because it is all just talk. If he cared about me he would sit and watch a movie with me because it makes me happy. THE WORLD DOESN'T REVOLVE AROUND HIM. The worst part is he doesn't even realize why I am upset with him until I tell him. Then he apologizes and NOTHING CHANGES! | My boyfriend is moving 6000km to go home in a month and has withdrawn himself completely from me. I am so angry every time I hear him talk |
t3_zo9s6 | relationships | I am 23F with a 28M for 3 years. His weight gain over the last 2 years is deeply upsetting and I'm afraid I'm becoming less attracted to him. | Pretty much what the title says. I am a 23 year old female who met my 28 year old boyfriend while still in college. He was my first real relationship, and it has continued for 3 years now.
When we met he was slightly chubby, but I had no problem with that at all. We moved in for the summer after 4 months of dating, and have continued living together since that time. At that time, when we first moved in together, he began to gain more weight. I almost didn't notice at first. Then I did and didn't like it, mostly for the health aspect. Finally, after 2 years, at Christmas he was 30 lbs overweight and still didn't seem to notice/care about his weight or its effect on me.
But now I find his weight unattractive. I don't really want to have sex with him when he looks like this, and by now I can't even remember what he used to look like when we first met. I'm afraid that this disgust towards his weight will bleed into how I treat him as a person. I'm worried that I'm simply not attracted to him anymore.
I've told him I didn't find his weight attractive, and I've tried everything to help him lose weight in a positive way. Still nothing. Is giving him an ultimatum going to help at all? Would asking him for a break be a good idea? I'm not sure what to do here! | My boyfriend gained and has kept over 30 lbs starting shortly after we met. He shows no desire to lose it, and I no longer desire to have sex with him. What do? |
t3_3sbazk | relationships | My [21M] roomate [21F] broke up with her boyfriend [21M] of 5 years. He moved out and there is disagreement between other roomates [21F, 25M] on what to do with his portion of rent. | Our group live in a 3BR 2BA apartment. My girlfriend and I [21F, 21M] share the master (Room A) while her sister, let's call her Jane, and until recently her boyfriend [21F, 21M] shared a second room (Room B). One of our friends, John, lives by himself in the third room [25M] (Room C).
Up until recently we split rent roughly equally. My girlfriend and I pay 24% each for room A as it is the biggest and has its own bathroom. The other three roomates split the remaining 52% evenly. for ~17.5% each.
I identified this as unfair to Jane and her boyfriend from the start as Room B and Room C are roughly the same size while they pay twice as much as John; however, everyone didn't seem particularly miffed by it since our rent is low enough split 5 ways that it wasn't a significant amount of money to anyone individually. This is compounded by Jane's general avoidance of confrontation.
Jane recently broke up with her boyfriend. He moved out 2 weeks ago. She broke up with him prepared to pay for his portion of rent, but I don't think that's fair to her to pay ~34% of the rent while John pays half as much for the same size room.
After general concern was voiced by Jane and John, I brought up the possibility of dividing rent by room instead of by person, but John is having none of it. He sees it as unfair to him to have to "pay" for Jane's decision to break up with her boyfriend. His current rent is $200/mo in an area where it's impossible to find a room to sublet for less than $450/mo. I think he's being unreasonable and selfish, but wanted other opinions.
Side Note:
I believe we're jointly liable on the lease so we cannot force Jane's ex to continue to pay rent. Not that we would. | Am I being unfair by asking roomate to pay a more equitable rent for his room despite our initial verbal rent agreement? |
t3_4hhpu5 | relationships | I [17M] just broke up with my first [19F] girlfriend, and afraid I wont be able to find another girlfriend. | I posted this over on /r/dating_advice, but I wanted to get your opinion on what I should do so im reposting what I wrote here.
Like the title says, I just broke up with my girlfriend and feel like a complete ass because of it. We've been dating for about six months now, but shes going to be moving four hundred miles away for college, so I thought I might as well dump her now and not go through the pain of thinking about her moving everyday before she eventually did it. Im socially awkward and she was my first girlfriend and I was the one who broke it off. I feel horrible and dont know what to do with myself. I don't think ill be able to introduce myself to another girl. She was the one girl I loved, but maybe im just being too attached because she was my first? I need advice. Anything to do to get my mind off this girl. Im in so much pain right now. I feel like ive made the biggest mistake of my life and I cant do anything about it. Im going through so much right now. Im going to be graduating in about a week, I just got hired at my first job and this isn't going to help clear my mind. Its just going to make everything worse. The girl who introduced me to her, sits right next to me in english and shes for sure going to ride my ass about my discussion. My (ex)girlfriend introduced me to so many new things I haven't done before. She was perfect in every way, and I ripped her out of my life just because I thought it would be easier for me. So I guess she wasnt meant for me. Im just a douchebag who wasnt meant for anybody I guess. | I broke up with my first girlfriend who I loved, and im afraid I won't find another girl like her. She was perfect in every way, and I feel like shit because of it. |
t3_506hvm | relationships | I [20F] feel inadequate bc my bf[22M] wants a threesome | [UPDATE]
My bf of about 2 years wants a threesome and I am certain that I will never want to have one. It would absolutely destroy me to see him with another woman. Knowing he has been with other women before me is fine and it doesn't bother me but seeing it is something I can't handle. Every time the subject comes up with friends who have had threesoms I'm very uninterested but he always expresses that he wishes he could experience that too (only a FMF threesome though). He tells me I'm enough for him and he's never given me any reason to think that he's unsatisfied with our sex life. Still, I almost feel guilty for denying him this. It's awful because I can't control the fact that I feel highly adverse to having one yet I also can't stop feeling guilty for not wanting to have one. I don't know what to do.
Also, he has said that he does not want a MFM threesome because he wouldn't be able to take seeing me with another man. So I know that my feelings are justified in not wanting to see him with another woman. Why do I feel so awful? | I don't want a threesome and my boyfriend does. This makes me feel inadequate and I don't know how to stop feeling that way. |
t3_1lew8g | dogs | My dog was hit by a car. Now paralyzed in her back legs and can't control her bowels. Any tips for how to cope with this or make it easier? | * | Dog hit by car. Back legs now very week and essentially paralyzed. Bowel movements uncontrollable. Towel-walking needed for her to walk around anymore. |
t3_2yvkt2 | offmychest | I just witnessed a case of domestic abuse... | I just witnessed my landlords, husband and wife, in a physical fight. The Husband is Foreign born/American Raised and the Wife isn't from America. English isn't their first language. I heard some punches and then "Shocked... help me!" from the wife. The husband had the wife's arm's held from behind. I immediately broke them up.
I sat them down and I tried talking to them while they were yelling at each other. They had been punching each other. They were yelling and talking about divorce and how it was all over. The fact that she didn't have a green card was one of the main tensions behind this. It's going to be harder to get a green card now.
After I calmed them down, the wife called the police. They came and talked to all three of us. Although neither of them wanted the other to be arrested, they took the husband away. Honestly, they both had bruises, but they determined that the wife was hurt more. It was probably true, but they were both badly hurt. The police said the husband would get medical treatment.
After the police officer got the wife's testimony he asked her if she wanted to sign it. She didn't. She also asked him to say she didn't want him to get in trouble... too late... The husband was worried that if she was taken to jail she would get deported since she didn't have her green card. If the marriage falls apart she will have to go back.
I took the wife to an emergency clinic. She's there now for the night. She can't drive Tomorrow I will pick her up, take her to see when her husband will see a judge, and pick him up. She is hoping for the charge to be dismissed.
I am freaking out. I don't know what to do. I can't afford to move right now. I'm under the poverty line. Most likely I will stop living here because of this. I don't know what to think. I might be living out of my car.
Is marriage where you go to be unhappy? | I saw my landlords get in a huge domestic abuse fight. The police came and arrested the husband. I am freaking out. |
t3_1bsq75 | relationships | I (29F) don't think I'm pretty enough for my BF (29m) | I (29F) have always thought that my BF (29) was gorgeous. All of my female friends think so to. He is about 6' and I don't know what he weighs but hes not fat and is kind of muscly. The problem is that a lot of times I wonder why he likes me. I'm ok looking I think but I'm 5'3' and 150lbs (yes i need to lose weight) and my BF is like a model. I like going out and knowing that lots of other women are probably checking him out but then I think that they are probably wondering why he's with me. We've been going out for 6 months and he treats me nice and we have sex a couple of times a week (basicly whenever he can sleep over) Has anyone ever been in this situation before? I see pretty girls with ugly guys all of the time but never the other way around? Am I just lucky or should I be worried about something? | I (29F) am worried that my BF (29M) is too good looking for me and will leave/cheat/is using me |
t3_31gw90 | relationships | Me [25 M] Entrepreneur having issues getting back in the dating game. | I am recently out of a long relationship (for me.. just over a year). I decided to break the ties because my work was enveloping my life and frankly my girlfriend did not really care, and if she did, I never heard it. I know it is my fault, not trying to fix that.. I am trying to fix me.
Right after I got out I started talking to a former friend, someone who I had met previously but had forgotten (long story). Anyways, I have basically fallen for her in the matter of a month and I really dont know how to handle it. I dont know if this is just my emotions going crazy or if it may be worth something, the main issue is that I really do not have any friends these days. My day consists of work and home. I need to get out there and meet people, but honestly I am not quite sure how. Up until I started my own business, I had worked around a bunch of people, hung out with them, etc. but now I work alone so interactions with others are limited at best.
I have a major issue that when I am alone my mind goes crazy. I over think things, I worry, etc. I am having a real issue controlling these issues and not sure what I can do. It causes me to check my phone constantly.
I feel like I am in a bit of a hole here and not sure how to climb out, yet the longer I stay in the deeper I go. I have severe social anxiety but it only lasts a bit. If I am out with a buddy or something I can open up quite fast, but I dont particularly have anyone to go out with unfortunately.
I guess confidence in myself would be nice, but talking to women is way out of my norm. I know one must be confident in themselves before being able to meet others, but I find that I draw much of my confidence and who I am from others. Sounds odd.. but it is how I see things.
Constantly questioning every move, yet trying to open up. It is not the easiest. Any advice? | Newly single, falling head over heels for someone new, really screwing it up, not sure if rebound feelings or if they are true. Please advise. |
t3_19k5j4 | pettyrevenge | This is what you GET | Okay, so, a little back story. I am adopted,and was in an abusive relationship. My adoption stemmed from neglectful and drug addicted parents, and my abusive ex boyfriend spent a lot o time degrading me, making me feel like dying, etc. So one day, I saw a confession bear post. It said, "I think women argue how they do because they know they won't get hit." This bothered me for several reasons, two of which are listed above. I have lived in fear of getting hit. It makes you feel weak and humiliated, and have a total lack of control. (Parents, not boyfriend) NO ONE should have to live in fear of getting hit, and it's terribly misogynistic to label ALL WOMEN in such a rude and demeaning way, as though men are ultimately right and women shouldn't argue with men, and that they should argue as though they are afraid of getting hit, i.e, not arguing at all. So I called him out on his bullshit. I admit, I wasn't terribly respectful, but I don't have much patience for women haters.
Several minutes later, they OP comes back, calls me a bitch, and insinuates that I deserved an abusive boyfriend and abusive parents because "You're a bitch". So anyways, on this post he got downvoted a lot, and I didn't. I even had other redditors stand up for me and tell him that I was right in my observation of him being a douche.
So now, about every two weeks, I intentionally look this guy up and downvote every single post and comment he has ever done, EVER. This took about an hour of my time, but the feeling I get each and every time is remarkable. I've taken about 100+ points of his karma, and gotten multiple posts of his into the negatives. | Guy is incredibly rude and misogynistic towards me on Reddit, I downvote every single thing he has ever done ever and continue to do so on a regular basis. |
t3_21u6cl | relationships | I'm [22/m] basically my brother's[25/m] only form of positivity in his life and it's leaving me emotionally drained | First off, a little detail. He's dealt with depression and anxiety since his early 20's. He's always pessimistic, and he dropped out of college because he didn't know what he wanted to do.
This year he finally decided what he wanted to do with his life. He was going to apply to school in another statevand he was gonna move in with our cousin [22/m].
Well, cousin gets a job and starts soon, so he moves in with friends of his. My brother took a huge offense to this and now he thinks his life is ruined and he can't go to school anymore. Any advice I give him is shot down immediately by him. He's convinced there's no way he can go to school out there now and he keeps texting me things like "I was so excited to move on with life" and "I never want to see him again he pissed my off so much". He's now constantly complaining about how people bail on him and how friends are worthless and how nobody can be trusted. Our parents don't help too much either, because they're sick of him. I'm literally his one-man support system, and it takes a toll.
I tell him to make friends, he says he hates people and that they'll just screw him over. I tell him to live in the dorms and he says "ew". He just doesn't have positive thoughts about life at all and I don't know what to do anymore. It stresses me out so much when he does this but I'm the only one that listens to him.
He assures me he'd tell me if he was ever going to do something drastic, and he's always telling me not to tell our parents because they'll get mad at him. It's incredibly difficult trying to make him happy and see that perseverance and positivity get you places because he doesn't believe that.
What do I do? | Brother thinks life is ruined and can't move because cousin moved in with other people, I'm the only person that listens to him |
t3_3ra7a4 | relationships | I've [18 M] been looking for problems with my girlfriend [19 F] 1.5 years | I am a senior in HS and she is a sophomore in college. We started dating around a year and a half ago. I have been madly in love with her the entire time, but lately all I have wanted is to be free. We have no real problems, but I feel as if I am being held back from exploring other options.
When she met me I was super awkward but she has changed me. I am very confident got into theater and overall I changed myself. Now i am confident and all that jazz other females have been going after me, and i am interested in seeing where that goes but i am worried that I will destroy her emotionally if I leave her. She is going through depression right now and really hating college. I do love her, and I do want to be with her, but i also want to be with others. Any advice guys?
TOTALLY FORGOT TO ADD: Her sister is dating a close friend. | No real problems with GF besides she is my first GF and I want to explore other people before I got off to college. |
t3_517elz | relationships | In love but breaking up over experience gap [27M/21F] | My 21-year-old girlfriend and I [27M] are breaking up (after a year together) because she's not ready for a forever-type relationship. She started to get the feeling after six months and it didn't go away.
Our age gap is significant because of the stage of our lives we're at. She's going into her senior year of college and all my friends are getting married.
She wants to have stories from the kinds of misadventures that arise from being single. I have an easy time empathizing with her because I've basically lived this breakup before in a previous relationship, except I was in her position.
I admire her adventurous spirit and encouraged her to go study abroad, for instance. But she still has an itch she needs to scratch. I, too, had a list of goals at 21 that were designed to be achieved alone.
It sucks to break up when we still love each other. I have the perspective now to know what I want in a relationship, much better than I did when I was 21, but I only got here by going my own path, at times selfishly and to the detriment of my relationships.
She worries she's making a mistake, but whatever happens, I think she has to do it.
So we sat down. We cried. She's going back to college. I won't be visiting. She said she wants to keep talking. I don't know how I feel about that.
Does anyone have any experience or advice here? What's the bigger issue? Age or ambition? And why do I keep dating the type of girl who says she wants to move to France and then actually does it?
Isn't this such a typically millennial thing? We can't just have a job; it has to be fulfilling and spiritually meaningful, too. We can't just be with someone we love without having FOMO.
Please discuss your experiences and thoughts. Is it wrong to hold onto the idea that we might reconnect in a year and be stronger than ever? | My girlfriend feels like she needs more life experiences before she settles down. I think it's a valid concern. So we're breaking up. |
t3_2kdhba | relationships | Unreasonably jealous of my [20F] boyfriend's [20M] female friend | A few weeks ago, my boyfriend went on a night out with some friends. The next day a photo went up on facebook of him and this girl, and they basically looked like a couple. He was hugging her with his head on her chest and his eyes closed. It really hurt to look at, though I know there was probably nothing to it.
He untagged it, and he talked to her about and she said oh well, it was innocent. She also untagged it.
He apologised about it and said it really was nothing, just a hug. There's nothing between them etc. She has a boyfriend of 3 years that she wants to marry.
I believe him but I'm so insecure and it's making me so jealous, and I think I'm driving him mad. Every time I see him texting her it upsets me. I'm trying to get over it and I'm managing to hide my jealousy better but it's still there. It's driving me nuts. I don't want to be a crazy jealous girlfriend, and I want my boyfriend to feel okay about having female friends.
How can I get over this? I know it's probably more to do with my own insecurities and I know I need to work on them but I don't know HOW. I've tried counselling and CBT and didn't like it at all. | uncomfortable with my boyfriend being close to another girl, and my jealousy is driving me crazy. How can I get over this? |
t3_32iwqp | relationships | Me [23 F] with my exboyfriend[23 M] 5 months,Dont know what to do. | My exboyfriend broke up with me last weekend and I dont even know why...on monday we were perfectly fine actually he said he loved me so much more and that he wanted to move in together (I told him that I loved him too but I wasnt sure about moving in together that fast we were together for only 5 months) So then we had a fight and he became weird after that and decided to leave me.. yesterday I went to a bar and he was also there we ended up kissing and hugging and he came today to my house in the morning we had sex and we had breakfast together and he kept telling me sweetie and baby like we were back together..then he left and he hasnt called me all day..so I did, but he was really weird no more baby or sweetie and its weird because he used to call me a lot or we used to talk on whatsapp but he just disappeared.. but there was something when we were about to have sex he said "no we cant we are not a couple" and he was laughing so I said something like "then lets go downstairs" but he just grabbed me and started kissing me..maybe he was actually saying it for real. | Boyfriend broke up with me last weekend and today he came to my house had sex and breakfeast kept telling me baby then he left and he just disappeared |
t3_3ezexc | relationships | I [23 F] messed up. What are examples of actions I can take to earn my boyfriend [24 M] of 8 month's trust back. | I won't explain too many details because that would take forever and it would sound like I'm making pathetic excuses. Essentially, I went out without my boyfriend, got way too drunk, lied to him on the phone multiple times, and something horrible that I do not want to get into occurred…it's in my recent history if you're curious.
Anyways, I know that this is the man I am going to marry. I love him more than anything. After he realized how remorseful I was and how willing I am to make it up to him, We both agreed that we are continuing the relationship, on the agreement that I find solutions to right my wrongs.
It is going to take time. I need time to feel less guilty about the situation to feel worthy of him again. It is going to take time and patience to build back his trust. He has made it clear that he needs actions, not words. I am ready to step up.
Reddit, do you have any examples of how I can best do this? This is something I can't fuck up. I feel like the luckiest person getting another chance. How can I do ACTIONS to make it clear he is the only one for me, that I will be open and honest forever? | I messed up and I need suggestions for ACTIONS I can take to build back my SOs trust, not just empty words. |
t3_3tqzrj | askwomenadvice | Did she use me as "practice?" | I'll make this short and easy. And before it comes up, NO, I am not generalizing/stereotyping.
So, a female friend (F/16)and I (M/15) got to know each other over 5 months, got a little flirtatious, had an interest in each other. Now a friend (male) tells me that she liked another guy, I also noticed it myself. Now for an unknown reason she won't talk to me like she used to and is really poor with conversation. It's like she chewed me up and spit me out. Did she flirt and get my attention as "practice" so to speak, so she could catch the attention of the guy she really wanted? I figured maybe this was some way of establishing a flirting strategy. | A friend and I started getting flirtatious, she catches my interest then stops talking to me. I figured out she liked another guy. Did she play me for "practice?" |
t3_3w4m7p | relationships | I [19 M] am jealous of my two close friends [22 M] [20 F], up to the point that I panic | So, to begin, I am part of a small circle of close friends whom live with each other, there are four of us including me. (All the names are fake).
I have this close friend whom I met at the beginning of my university course and we are considered very close as we have gone through a plethora of activities and greatly influence each other (I encourage her to sing and play ukulele more, she influenced me to try salsa dancing). Let's call her Violet.
Violet also has this other guy friend, Jerry, whom I am close with too. Me and him get along really well too and we have plenty of interests in common, which the girls in the house do not have an interest in.
However, this is my problem. Jerry and Violet are also very close. Violet always seems like she's laughing more and having intellectual, **better** conversations with him. It actually makes feel like shit whenever I see them or I'm with them. It feels like I'm competing, even though there is nothing to compete for. I feel inferior and my self-esteem drops. I keep comparing myself to them and it doesn't stop.
I've told myself that it's all in my head and there's nothing wrong at the moment.
But the thing is, it's not just anger and jealousy I feel. For some fucking reason, I feel anxiety and panic. It's so bad I have to run to my room and take long breaths just to calm down. Most times I feel a searing pain in my chest and I can't breathe, sometimes my hands shake.
Now I've talked to Violet and Jerry about this, letting them know that I feel inferior to them, but they reassured me that they didn't "prefer" or have favorites.
I don't understand why I feel like this. It keeps coming back and I can't function normally without having to calm down and take breaths.
Does anyone feel something like this?
I've noticed this also never happens with other friendship groups.... why is that? | Jealous and get very anxious of the closeness of my friends, even though I am close to both of them anyways. I don't know why, don't know how. But it needs to stop. How? |
t3_3g67e6 | relationships | Me [24 M] Messed up with my ex[24 F] 2 years, What can I do to get back? | We broke up, purely because of me and how I was feeling at the time. I had to deal with my grandfathers death, and a childhood friend during the time we were together. In the years we've been together, work and school has stressed me to the point where I took some of my anger out on her. We are talking daily right now, basically how we talked when we were dating. I just don't know how i'm going to get back with her. It's been 4 months, we've been talking since about 2 months and she says it feels the same but different, like way before anything ever happened to me. I don't want to hurt her anymore, so what should I do? | She broke up with me cause I put my stress on her, we're talking like when we were together, what do I do? |
t3_3okls8 | personalfinance | I have bad credit and debt, she has great credit and debt free. We'd like to try and buy a house together. | OK! So, Im simultaneously excited and terrified that my girlfriend and I are moving into a new stage of life: home buying. I've been doing some reading about the process and what to prepare for when owning a home but need some shoring up with the actual process of financing. Here is a general breakdown of where we sit financially:
- We hold the exact same position in a growing company and make about $38k/yr.
- She has good credit (800) and carries no debt. She does not qualify as a first time home buyer (previous marriage).
- I do not have good credit (628) and carry about 40k in student loan debt and 1k in credit card debt. My loans are current and in repayment. My credit was recently torched by a federal loan that came due 6 months ago. In short, it was consolidated **via text message** in 2011 and came due in April 2015. My phone number and address had changed during that gap. I would qualify as a first time home buyer.
My questions really pertain to how to apply for financing. How does my poor credit effect this process if we were to apply jointly? Can anyone recommend a strategy to approach this in our situation? Also, we are confident in our relationship but is there any financial benefit to either marriage or domestic partnership? | my credit blows, 41k in debt, 1st time buyer; hers is great and carries 0 debt, not 1st time buyer. How do we approach financing? |
t3_1gbntz | relationship_advice | In a quirky situation | So I've had a crush on this one girl for awhile now, and we've been good friends for awhile (Third year in High school, but only this year did we actually start to converse with each other).
One of my friends recently told me that he and a 'group' of friends have been trying to push me and this girl together for awhile now, but they never really took any action... He also told me that the girl may also be aware of this "scheming" of his.
Idk, maybe this post is pointless, and I've given you guys no real substance to go off of... yeah, that's probably it, but whatever.
I sort of want to express my feelings toward her without being awkward or out-of-place creepy, since it's the classic situation of "does she like me as a friend or something more?"
My "ace in the hole" i guess you could say is my friend and the 'groups' view on the situation, which supports the notion of us getting together. Not exactly sure how to approach, thought you guys might impart some w-w-wisdom. | Friend and an unknown number of others think I should get together with my crush, with whom I am good friends, yet I am unsure how she feels - pretty ordinary situation. |
t3_1gd1a4 | relationships | My boyfriend (22/M) just hit himself in the face-- with my hand (21/F). | We've been together a year and a half.
We were having an argument over productivity and taking care of business. I have trouble overcoming my fear of applying for freelance jobs and working on learning more skills in my field, he has trouble cleaning up after himself, cooking for himself, working regularly (he has a steady freelance job but only works about 10 hours a week on $40 an hour). and has trouble showering regularly (although by some miracle, he never smells).
Regardless, mid argument, he's in my face yelling and I tell him to "Get his face out of mine before I put something in it, like a fist." He says "Okay! I'm tired of you not doing what you say you will!" Then he grabs my hand and punches himself in the eye. He now has a black eye developing and his parents are on the way home (we're visiting). He's refusing to put ice on it.
I don't know, I'm freaking out right now and just looking for opinions here. I've interpreted it as a need for him to spend some time sorting things out in his head on his own. He's never lived by himself before; we met when he was living with his parents and dropped out of college due to loan debt. We've been through a lot, and I essentially gave up my entire family for him, escaping abuse from my mother and sister.
I have the time and money saved up to get an apartment, but not to sustain myself long-term (still in college full-time and I'm not convinced a minimum-wage job will cover an apartment and living expenses.) I've been planning to move into a new apartment anyway, as I don't believe in cohabitation outside of marriage but did it out of necessity. I'm angry that he's making me question our relationship as a whole by doing something so stupid, scary and unstable. We've been talking about marriage for months. I'm scared of trying to get out on my own and make enough money to sustain an apartment. I don't want to leave him, but I know we need a break. Anyone have any advice? Comforting words? Comforting gifs? | Boyfriend hit himself mid argument with my fist, I don't know what to do and I'm scared of moving out. |
t3_2kxxgi | relationships | I [26F] just found out from reddit that my bf [32M] has cheated on me. | *i have edited some questions as some of them sounded unclear.
We were in a relationship on and off from 2011 and have been in a relationship for a year now.
I knew something was going on in our relationship recently because every weekends he said he was busy with work and family or he is sick because of allergy.
I met him only twice a month for the past two months. Even so, i was so blind and did not even think that he was cheating on me.
And this past weekend, he was totally out of touch for three days (Sat to Mon), so I thought he was breaking up with me.
Then again, on Tuesday, he contacted me saying that he lost his phone for the last three days and went in all details about how he found his phone. But he never answered to my question as to how/when he lost it and why he didn't contact me through different methods.
Next day, I was googling his reddit id and found his post on reddit. He posted pictures with him and a woman looking like a couple on redditgetsdrawn subreddit. The woman looked older than me (probably 29 or 30) and did not look particularly pretty.
I was so shocked but did not send any message to him yet because my guy friend advised me that going all emotional and ballistic will only make him feel good about himself and feed his ego. I didn't send any message to him since Wed and he hasn't sent any messages to me either.
Question here:
1. Do you think I should talk to him about this or just give him silence treatment?
2. why do u think he contacted me again saying his phone was lost when he could have just ignored me all allong?
3. I have no intention of dating him again but i am still feeling shitty as hell. What should I do to feel better? Any similar experience?
I will appreciate any inputs but especially want to hear from guys' perspectives. Thanks. | i just found out through reddit that my boyfriend has cheated on me and we are not talking anymore. I need advice. |
t3_4isigr | relationships | My [28] Japanese girlfriend [35] of 1 year thinks unprotected sex is the only sex that feels good and wants to do it on "safe days" | Girlfriend and I live together in Japan since a couple months ago, together for 1 year. About 2 months of that year were long distance. We've been using condoms all this time because the pill is not an option for her because it's unnatural and bad for your health.
The pill seems to be generally disliked in Japan and while I think that's weird I'm fine with sticking to condoms.
However recently she told me that sex without condoms is the only sex that feels good to her. The pill is still not an option. She thinks it's fine to do it on "safe days" (including coming inside her).
I told her I don't believe in safe days and don't want to do it without some other protection, which made her cry because she's never gonna have the kind of sex that she wants anymore.
I feel very bad about all this but can't think of anything I can really do about it. I would do anything else sexually for her.
She asked me if I even now how a woman's cycle works with ovulation and all because there's really no risk doing it a week after ovulation in her opinion.
I feel like I can't really hold my own in these kinda conversations because while my Japanese is good (we talk Japanese only) I can't express myself well when it comes to topics I've never talked about before in Japanese.
Any advice or thoughts appreciated. Thanks. | gf thinks unprotected sex is the only sex that feels good, wants to do it on "safe days", wont consider pill because it's unnatural and bad for your health. |
t3_28smje | tifu | TIFU by making delicious fajitas | so no shit there i was making, which turned out to be amazing, fajitas. Cutting up the veggies and meat getting everything prepared, washed my hands a couple times then i rubbed my eye. did i mention that i used a habanero...well the flames of hell encompassed my eye..i panicked thrust my face under the faucet burning eye on top habanero infused water flowed into my other eye....double pain..started yelling for my girlfriend to help told her to get the milk and an eyedropper after she led me through the house to the shower which was unsuccessful so there i was naked in the kitchen leaned back over the counter with my gf trying to drop milk into my eyes....i said "open my eyes BEFORE you drop the milk bitch" then i heard the tink tink tink of the glass eye dropper skip across the counter "do it yourself then asshole".....finally all said and done fajitas were almost worth it. | made amazing habanero fajitas got it in my eyes called girlfriend a bitch ate fajitas with swollen eyes |
t3_xwox1 | relationship_advice | Boyfriend [19m] and ex-boyfriend [20m] are confusing me. | So, here's the deal. My boyfriend [19m] and I [20f] have been together for around 8 months. We live a ten minute walk away from eachother, but we only see eachother once every two weeks or so. He's ignorant sometimes, and he barely talks to me even in person. He's a sweet guy when he wants to be, but he makes me feel incredibly shitty half the time as well. I have very strong feelings for him, even though he's not quite the best of boyfriends.
Ex-boyfriend [20m] and I had been together for almost two years. We broke up because I started developping feelings for my current boyfriend. Since the breakup, we've been talking every day and developping a great friendship.
The problem is, we both have feelings for eachother as well. After talking to him about the memories, and just talking to him in general, it made me realize that maybe my boyfriend isn't the one for me.
I do still love my current boyfriend even though he probably doesn't feel exactly the same way about me.
My ex-boyfriend though, is very, very clingy. He's obsessed with me and you can tell. He's not doing very well financially, and yet he still showers me with gifts. He calls me once every couple hours or so just to "check up" on me, and always wants to see me or talk to me. He's also not the smoothest when it comes to the whole flirting thing. He treats me well, but at the same time he smothers me.
I've sort of gotten myself in a pickle, you see. I've started thinking a lot about my ex-boyfriend and I am strongly considering getting back together with him, because he treated me so well, and we've discussed getting back together before. I only like him though, I don't love him nearly as much as I love my current. I fancy them both, but I don't know who to choose. | I like both my ignorant, shy, never-present current boyfriend and my obsessed, super smothering, over-protective ex-boyfriend and I would like help making a decision. |
t3_s7d5v | AskReddit | I bought something in the used section of eBay, the description said it was opened and it was never used. It turns out the product has been used before. What can I do? | So I bought a tablet on eBay that was in the used section, but the product description explicitly said, "box was opened, but product has not been used". I have received the tablet and it turns out:
1) The shrink wrap of the surrounding the tablet itself is gone (unboxing videos shows a shrinkwrap)
2) The battery was dead
3) The tablet did not boot into a fresh boot (I was not asked for initial configs)
4) The stock firmware/software was updated
5) There is already a main account set up on the tablet
6) There is a picture from the camera taken in August
This tablet was obviously used and so I demanded a partial refund/full refund because it was not as described in the description. The seller responded then admitted that it was used once before and that they were the only user, but the product was used briefly. Should I continue demanding a partial or full refund from the seller, or should I take the case up to eBay/PayPal. What can I do reddit? | Product was not new as described, confronted seller, they admitted to it being partially used. Continue demanding a refund or contact eBay? |
t3_29cfvu | relationships | Do I [24F] tell my bf [25M] 4 months that my family doesn't like him? | My bf and I both believe honesty is really important in a relationship. He recently spent a few days with me at my siblings house..afterwards my siblings made it pretty clear they think he's pretentious, arrogant and that they just don't like him much. My sister made a comment that I should reconsider dating him. This really hurt for me to hear as I really care about my boyfriend. I am really close to my siblings and spend a lot of time with them so it stresses and worries me that this could hinder my relationship with my bf and siblings.
I should say I can kind of see where my siblings opinions are coming from. My bf can be very opinionated and blunt sometimes. The main example my sister cited was that we went out to a restaurant, he got a drink that was made wrong and made too big of a deal about it. She said it wasn't that he complained about it being wrong but that afterwards he acted really pretentious about it and "like a baby" kept pushing the drink away and complaining about it. It was all kind of awkward and really soured the mood for a bit.
He's very peculiar about restaurants sometimes and can be very critical. I don't think there is anything wrong with that but he can overdo it a tad bit sometimes. He is more well off then I am and is maybe just used to a higher standard of thing then I am.
I know he's probably going to ask me about hanging out with my siblings again and if they had anything to say about him. I dont know what to say. Do I tell him my siblings thought he was rude and found him embarrassing? I don't want to be dishonest with him. I also don't want to hurt his feelings and make things awkward. He's incredibly sweet to me and does a lot to make me happy. | My siblings don't like my bf and think he's pretentious and arrogant. What do I tell him when he asks if they like him? |
t3_2313xh | relationships | Me [21M] with my ex [20F] during 5 years, she broke me. | Hi reddit,
I don't really know why i'm posting here.. I think I'm a bit tipsy...
Btw, I'm a young french guy and I apologize for my mistakes.
I've meet N (I'll name her as this) at the high-school, I was 16 yo and I fell in love with her in a few talks. After a year w/ her, we decided to move in together. Everything was perfect (there were some argues, but anything unusual). I was imaging our future (wedding, child ...)
After 5 years together (4 years living together), she announce me that she doesn't love me anymore and she want to break-up. I've tried to understand (talking to her) but there was nothing understandable to me.
It appears she doesn't say me his problems/wanting for a while and it eats into his love, day after day.
I tried to keep her, talking to her that things can be settled if we talk more about her worries. But I realized that she really doesn't love me anymore and I can't repair it.
She left me a few weeks ago.. my heart broken..
In spite of my wishes, I felt into Alcoholism (that's why I'm currently tipsy/drunk) and start smoking. That helps me to forget and calm down but I know it's not a solution... I haven't the power to pick me up alone.
I start talking to a co-worker (girl) a few days ago, and it helps me to talk to someone, but I discover that she was using me (she's trying to charm me in order to use me at work) so I stop talking to her.
I've now no-one to talk, I'm turning to reddit community in order to find some advice/help. | I'm lost after a rude break-up, falling into alcohol, tobacco & soft drugs, I'm searching for some help/advice. |
t3_4tztqd | relationships | I [24F] really dislike my boss [60sF], intending to leave but when and how to break it to her? | First off, I'm not sure if this is the best place for this question, if anyone can direct me to a better sub for it that'd be great!
So I started this job about 6 months ago after my contract at another company ended. Before that contract ended, I bought a one-way ticket to the other side of the world. I took this job knowing I would only be working until I leave - I didn't (and haven't) mentioned this to anyone at work yet. I needed the job for money for my move.
I hate the role. I don't really like my manager, I find her to be a micro-manager and nit-picky. The job bores me to tears. I like my coworkers but not the managers.
I leave in 2 months. I have a 4-week notice clause in my contract BUT I'm still on a probationary period which could see the company terminate my employment at any time until the probation expires (roughly around the same time I intend to leave). I don't like keeping my plans a secret and feel like my boss might back off me a bit if she knows I'm going to leave.
Do you guys think I should inform her of my travel plans sooner rather than later? I'm also not sure how to phrase it because I think it would make me seem very sneaky to admit I took the job knowing full well I'd only be here for six months. I was going to be vague about it and say I've had an opportunity to go overseas with a family member (not a total lie, I will be heading over to relatives when I go).
Help, I feel like these remaining two months are sucking the life out of me but I'm worried that my boss might cut my contract short if I reveal my plans too early. | Leaving the country in two months, want to tell my unpleasant boss sooner than my 4 week notice period in the hopes she backs off me a bit, but worried about retaliation in the form of losing my job before I'm ready. |
t3_18uhkq | relationships | 21F with persistent insecurities that then create genuine problems. How do I break the cycle? | I'm a 21F who's been dating a 22M for about a year now. Our relationship is great in many ways and we love each other a lot.
I have a recurring problem of becoming very insecure and easily upset every time I get into a serious relationship. I know that these feelings are unhealthy and have been seeing a therapist for a while. I've been making a lot of progress and feel optimistic about being able to overcome and manage my fears, though I'm not 100% there yet.
Sometimes I get disproportionately emotional over small things; ex: I'll see my boyfriend being really affectionate to one of his best friends, and feel myself becoming extremely jealous even though I know it's irrational. When this happens my boyfriend tends to feel like I don't trust him and that he's at fault, even though I've tried to explain to him that my issues are independent of him. After we make up I tend to feel more insecure, because my insecurities have caused real friction between us and I worry that he might leave me or think less of our relationship. But when I'm insecure I'm more prone to getting irrationally upset -- it's a bit of a vicious cycle.
I should point out that he's usually quite good at assuaging me, tells me that he loves me all the time, and treats me very well. I know that he has a breaking point, though, and that my persistent insecurities do hurt and frustrate him. We broke up once and got back together, but the vast majority of the time we're able to move on and he'll continue being caring and doting.
I can't feel genuinely secure unless I stop self-sabotaging myself with my insecurities. If we don't fight for a few weeks then I usually start feeling really good, but sometimes I still can't avoid random triggers that set me off, even when I know that they're silly, and then it's as if I'm back to square one. r/relationships, do you have any advice? I'm trying really hard to work on things, but sometimes it still frustrates me and gets me down. | I'm insecure and I know it. But being insecure creates real problems for my relationship, which makes me more insecure. Want a way out of this cycle. |
t3_2uspqh | relationships | I [21 M] have been seeing someone [20 F] for about a month. Need help asking her to be my GF. | So we are about to go on our seventh official date, and we have been on a couple lunch dates and hung out together with friends several times as well. It has been going on for about a month, and we've stayed the night together several times and communicate in some form almost daily.
I kind of wanted to try to do something a little creative. We are into puns and cheesy pickup lines. The best I can come up with is fake proposing to her with a ring pop, but I didn't know if it'd be too cringeworthy.
This will only be my second girlfriend, so I'd like some advice on the best way to do this. Thanks! | Six dates going on seven with this girl; things are going well. I'm looking to ask her to be my girlfriend in a creative way. Asking for help. |
t3_1lbg70 | relationships | Me[18M] with my Class mate [18F] And I am fearing the friend zone. | There is this girl I met in high school my freshman year. We talked here and there during school. We never had classes together and our schedules were always conflicting. She playing water polo and I playing football. It wasn't until this summer after high school did I start to hang out more with her.
We would go to parties together and I made sure to take care of her and her friends. we talked a little, but i never actually made any advances on her. I always tried talking with other girls who i never really connected with. One day, we agreed on swimming at the beach together with one of her girlfriends who i also happen to be someone close with(friend wise, i'm cool with it though).
We go to the beach, the girl I like, her friend and I. We swim a couple laps around the buoys and a guy flirts a little with them, but then continues swimming. The 2 girls then chatter about how they aren't looking their cutest etc. I don't know if this is significant or not, but they talked about this right in my presence. We finish swimming and as I dry off, the 2 girls ask me to take pictures of them doing poses and of them running through the waves as well as jump shots etc. just pics to post on facebook and what-not. I felt pretty humiliated during this process.
Now we scheduled to go swimming at the beach again this Sunday. Is there anything i can do to show my interest toward her? She has never been in a relationship and neither have I. She is a genuinely nice girl and she isn't shallow at all. I help her with any problems she has and she does the same for me. Please help, I want to form a stronger relationship with her. | 18 year old male who has never been in a relationship does not know how to make advances on a girl he likes. |
t3_27fotx | relationships | I [16 M] just broke up with my gf [17 F] of 17 months and now I need advice on how to handle the whole situation. | This was my first time breaking up with someone.
The breakup was rough, but friendly. I explained to her that I have the feeling that I don't love her anymore and that I just think that our relationship isn't working anymore. We sat together for about 3 hours and talked, cried and hugged but in the end I think it was ok.
Now I just want to know, what I should do now. She is still very much in love with me and said things like that I was the best thing that ever happened to her or that I was/am the perfect boyfriend and noone will ever come close to me.
I try to make this all as painless as possible for her but I don't know how. I want her to get over me and let go, while holding my promise and maintaining a friendship with her.
Also one of the biggest breakup points for me was that I have a crush on a girl from my school. But I just finished school so my crush and I will see each other again only a few times now so I have to make a move now. I didn't say anything about her to my gf while breaking up bc it would have just hurt her more and I thats what I want to avoid.
So now I need advice on: - What to do with my ex gf how is the best way to handle a friendly break up (I suggested about a month of practically no contact and then we meet again to talk about how it's going and how we handle our friendship) - How to handle the thing with my crush, if hypothetically I come together with her next week I think that would hurt my ex gf enormously and I don't want that. | Broke up with my gf, need advice on how to evolve this into a friendship and how to help her get over me, and need advice on if it is ok to pursue someone else. |
t3_su727 | dating_advice | A great friend or something more? | I'm male, 23, she's 21.
This has been going on in my mind for a while now, I'm not sure if she is just a really good friend or if she is, or is becoming, something more to me.
I feel happier when she's around, I'm happy to just be with her even if we're not doing anything particularly interesting.
She's one of the few, and by few I mean only, people I miss when they're not around for a few days. She just left the house to be away until Sunday and I felt sad.
I'm pretty sure that we're in the same place in regards to how we see each other, though I haven't brought it up in conversation. We've spent a few nights just cuddling and getting very close to something more but it always ends at (and it's me who's putting the breaks on). We seem to do almost everything together, cook/eat, watch movies/tv shows and help with each others work.
This all sounds great, bordering on perfect, but in all honesty, I'm not sure that I find her physically attractive. She has a great body, but I don't really find myself attracted to her facial features. I'm just not sure how important this is to me though.
The tricky bit is that we're currently living together in a shared house, and are due to continue to do so for at least another year. If we weren't, I would have probably already tried to make something of it. | I'm not sure if I'm falling in love with a great friend or whether I'm mistaking great friendship for love. If we weren't currently living together, I would have done something about it already. |
t3_b79u4 | relationship_advice | Is my relationship founded on physical attraction? | I've been dating this girl who lives in my dorm, a few floors up, for a couple weeks now. She is, by a fair margin, the most attractive girl I've ever dated (my friends and parents had no problem going "Whoa! She's defnitely not like [insert ex-girlfriend of charliedayman's]") and I get fairly turned on just being around her. Suffice to say we got pretty physical pretty fast. However, we also have just hung out without doing any hooking up quite a few times, talking about music, likes and dislikes, etc. (I think reddit would like her a lot because on our first date we went to a showing of "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" at her suggestion).
I had a conversation with a friend today that made me worry, though. I went up to her room late last night when I was still up with friends and she just got back from celebrating her friend's birthday. We hooked up for about an hour and then cuddled for another hour. While we were cuddling, I felt myself compelled to tell her "I love you" even though I don't think that's true yet. I told my admittedly conservative friend that I kept wanting to tell her I love her even though it's not true and he told me that's because my relationship with her is purely physical. Is that compulsion actually a signal of that? If so, what can I do about it, considering this girl and I both want a strong relationship? | I keep wanting to tell my girlfriend I love her while cuddling, does this mean our relationship is mostly physical? |
t3_jkon1 | AskReddit | LBH, am I asking too much? | I've been dating my guy for 4 years and we've both stated that we never really want to be with anyone else and we're crazy about each other. We've lived together for 2 years; we're 24 years old. He knows all I want out of life is to have kids (and get married). He still isn't sure if this is for him. I'm not the type of girlfriend who needs to have all this happen ASAP or I'm gunna hound him about it all the effin' time. But just like he has wants out of his life, I have mine and I think those deserve recognition. I've asked a few times over the course of our relationship if he wants to get married/have kids and all he's answered with is "I don't know; I'm not thinking about that right now."
So just recently, now that we both have good, stable jobs with benefits and a nice place together, I brought it up again. And I kind of demanded to know if this is going anywhere - if he decides one day he doesn't want kids, I need to move on and find someone who has priorities that match my own. He says he still just doesn't know but loves me and wants that to be enough for now. When do I say I need to know or I'm moving on? To be clear: I don't need to have the babies now, I just need to know if this is even on the plate for him at all in the future. | I want to make babies - I'm not crazy, I just would like to know when a good time to get definitive answers from SO about him maybe wanting them someday |
t3_1onylr | relationships | Me [19/F] with my boyfriend [22/M] 5 months, is really, really getting on my nerves with how he talks about his family. | My boyfriend moved back in with his mother, step-father, brother [15ish], and twin sister [6]. Ever since he moved back in with them, it's really been bugging me with how much of a jerk he is to his mom, how disrespectable he is towards their parenting and how much of a know-it-all he is.
His mother has 6 year old twin girls, and it's difficult for her. He's constantly quoting his psychology degree and trying to interfere with her parenting, which to me just undermines her efforts in front of the girls. I also believe that the "best" parents are those who aren't parents, and that everything gets way more difficult when there's actually your own child. He also does this to me. If I try to sneak away from my daughter (and she's being supervised but I really want some fries from McDonalds) he always gives me grief for not saying goodbye to her and how I'm setting her up to have separation problems when she gets older. Or how me giving her a pacifier is inhibiting her speaking(she's just over a year old). I've told him to stop doing this, he has said he will not.
I watch his get into confrontations with his brother all the time. He constantly brags about how he's stronger than his brother and how his mother is doing a terrible job parenting his brother and blah blah blah. From what it sounds to me, it seems like his brother is just acting like a regular teenage boy.
Today his step-father said he would be taking him off of his health insurance. I'm not agreeing or disagreeing with his step-father's choice, it's mainly my boyfriend's reaction that pissed me off. He has a parent-plus loan that says his parents will need to pay the loan off if he defaults on it. He was thinking of defaulting on it so his step-father would have to pay! The only reason he isn't is because his mother would have to pay for it as well. It's worth noting that he does have access to health insurance through his work. $190 a month. | My boyfriend is constantly fighting and being argumentative with his family and I'm worried that it will mirror into our relationship because it sort of already has. |
t3_9n2et | AskReddit | What do you do with your books? Do you take care of them? | My mum boasts about her owning every Anne McCaffrey, every Stephen King, every David Eddings book, and various other authors. These are all placed on the many bookshelves around the house, in places of pride and prestige. So it was obvious I'd grow up with the same ideals; books are sacred. Don't break the spine, or bend the cover, make sure your hands are clean, and don't leave them lying around on the floor.
That was until a while ago when I heard a quote something along the lines of "it's not the books that are important, only what's in them." (I'm pretty sure it was from a film. I really wish I knew.) From then all my physical books haven't been so precious. I love them, but my copies have creased pages from when I couldn't find a bookmark and the like.
I'm reading Atlas Shrugged (still... it's a hard read, ne?) and came across a brilliant quote that made me think about a number of things. I immediately thought that I should note this down somewhere. But then a little devil popped up over the shoulder and wondered why I couldn't just highlight it in the book, maybe make a note in the margin. Would that be so bad?
Sorry, I talk in full paragraphs (even outloud), so | do you keep your books in air tight bags, or wouldn't you mind if you found someone had used them for coasters? |
t3_48cgpy | relationships | I [M,24] feel the need to reconcile with my past before I move on in life with wedding and moving accross country. | I met my fiance [F,27] in August of 2013. I was seeing another girl at the time and ended up cheating on that girl with my now fiance. It was a shitty way to end a relationship and I know that. It did a lot of damage to my ex. Now that I'm getting married, I am feeling a lot of the guilt resurfacing. I have dreams about apologizing, that's how bad it is. I know that 2+ years she's probably moved on, but I would really like to find an opportunity to apologize and tell her that our relationship failing wasn't entirely her fault. I don't know what that might do. It might open up a new can of worms or it might end better than I expect, I don't know. The guilt comes from more about how I hurt her, rather than the act of cheating itself, if that makes sense.
Another relationship I want to reconcile is my best friend of 15+ years. We stopped talking about a year ago. I didn't enjoy going out and drinking anymore so he deemed me the boring friend and stopped hanging out with me. One night when I tried to go out with him, he abandoned me downtown. We spoke about 6 months after that and I found out that he was having a tough time in his life. I didn't really care because he brought a lot of it on himself. He's an alcoholic and refuses to see it. Anyways, since then we haven't talked and he was going to be the best man in my wedding. Now I'm not even sure I want to invite him. I know friendships have falling outs all the time, but I can't just go and get married and move away without at least saying "Hey, thanks for being my best friend" or something.
So do I just deal with it and move on myself, or do I seek these people out and reconcile. | Did some shitty things to ex girlfriends, lost a few good friends and now I'm ready to start a new chapter in life. Is it worth my/their time to reconcile those relationships? |
t3_1ix0q2 | pettyrevenge | Try to save you money and you give me flack? Unleash my pettiness. | SET UP: So my father sent me on an errand to go into town(About 10 minutes away) to get a box of *Big name* ice cream. So he gives me his card, and I go to the store, and a box of it was about $5. I noticed on the shelf below it was one of the big tub things for about $6. I looked at the labels, the box had 1 liter while the tub had 4.
So I think to myself: "I could spend an extra dollar to get 4x the amount of ice cream." So I do that. It's not unusual for him to do something like that so I was thinking that it was something he would do. Come home and he yells at me for 10 minutes about how I "lied" and just picked whatever I wanted and am a horrible person. Then he tells me he wanted *off-brand*(Which he didn't want before, he specifically mentioned *Big name*) and made me return the ice cream tub to get the previously unmentioned off brand.
REVENGE: So I drive back up to the store(It's been about 30 minutes at this point) and I'm pretty pissed. First thing I say is "My father is an asshole, can I return this please?" So I publicly mocked him which would cut deep because he has a huge ego and tries to keep a public image. She gives me cash back(I used a card before) So immediately I pocket most of the loose change.(I got about 75 cents), go back to the freezer, find the off brand(Which was in a different place) and get the shittiest, most beaten up box I could find. I pay for it, drive back and set the box and the money on the table and just walk off. He being none the wiser. | Asshole father wastes ~40 minutes of my life, I pocket 75 cents, give him shitty ice cream, and publicly call him an asshole. |
t3_4iktzu | relationships | Me [21F], food worker on campus [50sm] overstepped the boundaries, made me feel so uncomfortable | I'm not sure if I am overreacting here. There's this one food worker on campus that works at one of our sub shops. He's always been overly familiar with the female students and just generally creepy. I avoided him as best I could but eventually just stopped going to that shop as much as I used to because of him. One of my best friends stopped going entirely because of how uncomfortable he made her feel.
Today, he went too far. As I went to get my food, he put his hands on top of mine and told me my name was beautiful, and then said something along the lines of "have a nice day baby." I've never felt so uncomfortable in my life. I wasn't wearing anything revealing nor did I ever flirt back with him or anything so I'm pretty certain I didn't lead him on or anything. I don't know what to do or if I'm overreacting. Should I report him to his boss? We're only here for another 4 days so I'm not sure if it's worth it, but I feel like someone needs to know. | Food-worker on campus way overstepped his boundaries, made me feel uncomfortable, not sure if I'm overreacting or if I should report it. |
t3_1bjtap | relationships | I [22M] just started dating a girl [22F] and I have an irrational fear of her cheating on me. | We just started dating less than a month ago. I have absolutely NO reason to rationally believe she may cheat on me. Infact, in her last relationship years ago, she was cheated on throughout her entire relationship.
I have this irrational fear that I may not be able to satisfy her. I'm terrified of losing her. I don't know why. I never realized how poorly I viewed myself until I started dating her. Suddenly I find myself wondering if she is flirting with other guys at work, in the gym, or when we are not together.
Can anyone offer me some advice on my irrational fear? I don't know exactly why I feel this way. | I recently began dating a girl for less than a month, but I am experiencing a lot of irrational fear of her cheating on me, despite the fact that she isn't. Any words of wisdom? |
t3_4bxvv7 | relationships | Am I [22F] justified in breaking up with my bf [22M] over the phone? | I am for sure going to break up with my boyfriend, but I've been trying to actually meet him in person to do so and he's not working with me.
I've asked him to tell me when he's available to talk, and it took him a week to get back to me. Then he said he didn't have enough money to come and see me so he actually couldn't. I've been thinking about going to his house but at the same time, it's 40 minutes away and I just don't feel like it. I don't think I should have to, especially if he's not really trying to work out some kind of plan with me.
Should I just call and get this over with? I think it's an awful way to break up with something but I just want to be done.. | I told my boyfriend we needed to talk in person, but it's taking forever. Is it okay to just break up over the phone? |
t3_wwmes | travel | R/travel, don't fail me now! I won a trip, but to where? | Long story short, I won a trip for 2500 USD. I can go anywhere I want provided I don't exceed that amount (presumably I could go over that if I wanted to shell out my own money).
Additionally, I am in the process of converting my SO to enjoying the art of traveling. His childhood vacations were very regimented and he tends to associate travel with stress and discomfort more than anything. Also, he's a foodie.
So here's the question: He enjoys good food, I enjoy seeing/doing awesome things. Recommend me a great trip location! (Food recommendations are also VERY welcome).
Places we've been and enjoyed:
-Tokyo
-Jordan
-Dusseldorf/Koln | Save me Reddit, you're my only hope! Kind of. Or rather, a source of valued information.:) |
t3_2u7sly | Pets | How much food for cat insatiable cat? | In October we bought a cat, 1-2 yo from a shelter. He has adjusted really well, is wonderful in every way and I want to make his life as wonderful as possible.
The first night he was here we thought that we had put everything he could possibly eat in cupboards, but he opened a bag of dried beans and tried to eat them. He was constantly looking for food and went crazy when we were cooking. We have given him the exact amount of food he should need according to his weight and level of activity on specific times, twice a day. (And of course treats now and then.)
Now, a few months further on he has calmed down a bit about food. And my SO thought we should try having food out all the time to see if he ate when hungry as most cats do. A couple of weeks in on this he is eating about twice what he should according to weight, but is a lot calmer (which I assume is happier..his begging for food didn't bother me).
Now I am wondering if he will learn to eat as much as he needs, and if he can do that before he becomes obese? Or if the experience of being a stray and fighting to find food is so strong that he will eat more than is healthy?
It feels great to give him the food he loves but I think it is wrong if he becomes obese (and maybe I will have to get him on a diet for health reasons). | Cat that's former stray, will eat more than healthy. Better to give food by weight or as much as cat wants? |
t3_3b4num | tifu | TIFU by crop dusting the cleaning lady | This happened about an hour ago and I can still feel the shame. So I work in an office building and it generally clears out pretty quick after 5. No one was around so I decided that would be a good time to let a few rip that I had been holding onto this afternoon. Well no sooner do I fill my area with a solid cloud of stench then the cleaning lady comes around the corner down the hallway. I know she is coming by to change out my trash which she does every night so I make a break for the elevator bay. Simultaneously she makes her way to my desk and leans down under the desk to grab the basket. I know I should hide or hop in the elevator which has just opened, but the curiosity is killing me so I take a quick peek from the glassed in bay. Well it must have really festered down there, because she quickly came back up with a look of thorough disgust and then suddenly in my direction. We made eye contact for all of 2 seconds, but she knew and I knew, the damage had been done. | Let a few rip after work. crop dusted the cleaning lady. looked into her eyes as she just realized what had transpired. |
t3_z8gss | AskReddit | My (cheating) ex still has three-quarters of her wardrobe in my closet. What situations have you been placed in, in which you could have taken revenge, but did not? Why didn't you? | This was my high-school sweetheart, for lack of a better description. We started dating in the 9th grade, up until 3rd year university (we moved to the same city/University).
The cheating came into play when she was unsure of our relationship, and too pathetic to end it. I was busy as hell with my major and my work, but still made time for her. She started seeing someone else, for a month or so, until I made a bold move (as I had felt our relationship drifting apart, but I was unaware of the cheating), and had effectively won her back.
A month later, I was told by one of her friends (whose boyfriend was the guy in question), that she had found out about my girlfriend, and her boyfriend, shacking up. I confronted her about it, and she denied it vehemently, until the guy forwarded me some letters she had wrote, and they were tell-all. She didn't even have the courage to admit it. I ended it there, but she spent the next two or three months attempting to win me back. I saw a few other girls during this period, but still felt uncomfortable with all of them, so naturally, (read: *vaginally*) I felt drawn to her. A few months down the road, we're back together, and against better judgement, she moved in with me. This lasted for about a year and a half, but it wasn't a fraction of the relationship it used to be.
We decided it was no use kicking a dead horse, and ended it on good terms. I do harbor some resentment, the more I think about it, but it's grown to a point where I just don't care anymore. I don't care enough to expend the energy required to do something to all her shoes/clothes, or just throw them out. She's just got back from her vacation, and can finally get her shit out of my apartment. | A girl I dated for 7 years cheated on me, but we got back together. Relationship ended (after moving into my place), and all her shit is here. Too lazy to throw it out. |
t3_2q7xyl | running | Pain / numbness only in right foot along side.. am I defective? | I know you all will eventually just tell me to see a doctor and to get a proper shoe fitting, but I thought I'd just run this by you to see if anyone else has the same issue.
I recently began running and have had some issues on my right food, along the right side. Mainly the pinky toe, towards the back of the 5th metatarsal. I was using very bad running shoes for a bit and recently got some Asics Nimbus 16's (which apparently are supposed to be amazing).
I still get the numbing. I still get the overall pain, and I still feel slight pressure on that side of my foot when the shoes are on.
I measured my feet, I'm using the proper width, but the problem still occurs.
Does anyone have any suggestions to combat or figure out how this pain is happening, only in my right foot, only on that side? I'm leading to believe it may be due to one foot being bigger than the other or possible pronated feet? | Right foot hurts / gets numb along right side while runnning/walking. Tried different shoes. No fix. What gives? |
t3_3om5vc | Advice | Giving up gaming completely. Can't decide if I need my gpu. Advice needed. | First off, I love video games. I have loved them my entire life. I played so much one summer when I was younger that I got blisters on my thumbs and then bragged about it to my friends. As much as I love video games, I have to give them up. They waste so much of my time that I could be spending doing other important or pro-active activities. I am planning on joining an MMA gym and starting some basic music recording with a blue yeti usb mic. What benefits would yield from keeping my gpu? I am almost afraid to keep it for fear of downloading and playing a game because of being "bored" or "nothing to do".
Would there be any benefit to keeping it in regard to recording
music? Watching movies? Anything? | Quitting video games and can't decide if I need my gpu or not. PC will be used for music recording mainly. |
t3_164phj | AskReddit | How to find people that suit my interests? | I'm a college student but it's commuting school so there's not really a campus life. It's kinda like high school but with harder courses.
So I have a fixed class, and I don't really like them. I did my best to befriend them though, since I figured that maybe I'd meet some interesting people through them.
A year has passed, and unfortunately, it appears that the only people I meet through them are lame as well. Their definition of having fun is sitting on their ass all night, smoking cigarettes and talking trash behind each other's back. Other people's lives is also the only subject they know something about, so conversation options are rather limited.
And then there's the parties. Every once in a while, we gather around, the girls drink two glasses of wine and spend the rest of the week bragging about how drunk they were. The guys spend an entire month posting Barney Stinson quotes on their facebook page because they almost considered talking to a girl who looked kind of okay.
Hm...
I've already spent two paragraphs ranting on about how lame they were. Sorry for that. But they really are lame. It's not my opinion, it's a fact. Cats go meow, cows go moo and my annoying classmates go "All music sucks apart from this obscure indie band you have to know everything about in order to be a respectable human being"
This gets to me, of course. I used to live in a city where I had friends I could relate to. And now, I feel like I'm trapped with the cast of some trashy reality tv show. It's very douchey of me to talk about them like that, I know. But it's just too much. You have to see them to believe it.
So this is my question. How do I deal with this? Just stop hanging out with them, since it's not fruitful? And find another circle of friends? How would I go about that, anyway? I'm good at meeting people, but I'm not good in turning strangers into friends. | I'm stuck in a group of people I really detest. I tried to get along them, but I just can't genuinely like them. Where can I meet people that suit my interests, and how do I befriend them? |
t3_35xdna | tifu | TIFU by missing my chemistry GCSE exam | So currently I'm retaking science in year 11 because I'm dumb and didn't revise for science during the first exam during year 10, this caused me to get D grades.
This year I have been revising a lot for this exam and I was fairly confident that I was going to walk out with C grades for all 3 science exams; however this morning I woke up to my parents shouting at me telling me I've failed my chemistry exam and at first I was really confused, I thought that there might've been some kind of mix up. The first thing I did when getting out of bed was check my timetable and I was sure as hell that my exam was at 1:30pm like the rest of my science exams but it turns out when looking at my timetable that my exam started at 9am.
So now I'm really angry with myself, now that I've screwed myself over and I'll probably need to retake my GCSE exams because I've made a stupid mistake by reading the timetable wrong and not double checking. I'm also failing most of my other exams, so I'm approximately 80% sure that I'm not passing 5 other exams to get into a decent college for the course I've wanted to do. | I missed my chemistry exam because I read the timetable wrong and I'm now probably going to be a failure as I'm not clever in many other subjects. |
t3_4302la | relationships | Me [20 M] with Girlfriend[19 F], need advice. possible pregnancy. | I am a male, 20, and my girlfriend went a week without her period coming. Naturally, I became worried because she was talking about cravings, feeling sick, stuff like that which I found odd because I thought pregnancy symptoms don't show until later.
Anyway, she called me selfish and I am making the whole situation about me because i'm worried... I can't even be mad right now because i'm too attatched to the idea of this possible pregnancy, but this is a different story really.
So basically she ended up taking 2 first response tests, over ONE WEEK after the missed period. They were NEGATIVE! Now I looked up reviews of first response on amazon and such and now im just deeper in the hole having read that for some people it said negative when they were really pregnant. Now its been "12" whole days and shes supposed to have her period.
Also, shes been pretty stressed out lately because of other things in her life, does stress really take that big of a toll on the cycle? | Worried about pregnancy even after tests. I really need some advice here. Also to be more relevant to this sub, Am i really overreacting and being selfish about this? |
t3_4z0zy0 | relationships | I [22F] recently got back together with my ex [22M] of 3 years. How do I get over the shitty feelings/thoughts that have resulted from his hookups while we were broken up for 10 months? | I recently got back together with my ex. We dated for 3 years and broke up last fall because we moved to different cities for jobs. We did long distance at first, but he would not visit me, despite the fact that I visited him. He also went and visited other female friends often, even though he said and I thought we were technically together. After a lot of fighting and resentment, we broke up and have been broken up for 10 months now.
We recently rekindled our relationship and have decided to try long distance. However, he is not remorseful for his behavior last fall (not visiting, visiting other female friends instead, being distant, leading me on, etc). Additionally, he slept with several people while we were broken up, and will not tell me any details.
The idea of him sleeping with other people makes me physically ill and it makes me mentally feel like crap, especially since it seems and feels like he was stringing me along leading up to and possibly during these hookups. I was constantly upset while he was drinking and fucking and having a great time. How do I get past the shitty thoughts that result from thinking about and knowing that he slept with other people while we were apart? How do I decide for sure if it's worth it to work it out, or just move on and hopefully find someone who will appreciate me? I saw him last weekend and it was like he had no feelings or empathy for me and how much I suffered last year, and he didn't apologize at all, even when I cried a lot. | Got back together with ex, and knowledge of his hook ups with other people while we were broken up is hurting me mentally. How do I cope or decide how to proceed with him? |
t3_tq4nn | self | And then I wondered how many professors messed up my grades | I just remembered something I thought I'd share. In my third year in college, I was taking some difficult classes. I'm one of those people who loves to calculate my grade when I should be studying, so I did this often. When I got my grades back, I was shocked - there was no way I earned a 2.67. I asked all my professors what my grades on the final exams were, plugged that into the formulas, and realized that TWO out of THREE gave me a lower grade than they should've. My grades were corrected and I ended up with a 3.23 that quarter, which is about what I expected. And then, I was horrified. I was almost in my final year of school and realized that for three years, I had just accepted my grades without question. Professors are human, with hundreds of students to evaluate even when they're tired and want to get done so they can enjoy their breaks. I wish I had verified all my grades in all my classes from the start. | Professors are probably messing up your grades once in a while, wish I had thought of it in the first place. |
t3_301bo8 | tifu | TIFU by starting a pantsing war with my fiancé | It all started yesterday morning around 9. While she was folding laundry at the kitchen table, I had the bright idea to "pants" her. I casually walked up behind her as to give her a sweet embrace when suddenly I yanked down her sweatpants exposing her Sunday morning delicates aka granny panties. We laughed, she smacked me, I credit card swiped her, she smacked me again and then it was over. Ten minutes later I was patiently waiting for my waffle to prairie dog out of the toaster when I hear the faintest of footsteps. Before I could turn around she had grabbed ahold of not only my gym shorts but my boxers as well. She forcefully tore both to the floor exposing not only my bare ass but my mini Emilio Estevez as well. Laughing ensued and we decided to call a truce. But I couldn't let her have the last say in all of this. So the saga continued all Sunday long. I'll be honest, at around 4 o'clock the whole thing started to get exhausting. I was living in constant fear of having my pants pulled down to my ankles. Eventually it was time for bed. We lost track of who was winning the war and the constant barrage of pants pulling had seemingly stopped. That was until she left her guard down. It was lights out time and instead of getting up to turn the switch off, she decided to kneel on the bed and turn it off with the drawstring. This was it, the pantsing to end all pantsing. As she reached up, I grabbed ahold of her silk nighty and pulled down with a great amount of force. But this time the sound of giggles and laughs were accompanied by a loud ripping noise. No, she didn't fart in my face, I had torn her brand new silk pants at the waste band. Apparently she had tied them rather tight as to avoid getting pantsed again. Not only did I win the war, I Hiroshima'd her ass. We entered into a verbal contract with one another and each rolled onto our own side of the bed. | Pantsed my fiancé, pantsing war ensued, ended it by ripping her silk pants just before bedtime, no sex was had that night |
t3_12o94e | dating_advice | 20[m] So got a number at party, how to proceed from here? | So on Friday I 20[m] went to a 70s party and got to talking to a girl 20[f] I thought was pretty cute. Before I left I told her I wanted to get her number and she gave it to me. I texted her my name and a little joke and she replied with a lol type thing. I told her I'd text her tomorrow.
So on Saturday I text her around 6:30 asking what she was doing that night. She doesn't reply for 3 hours but says she just got out of work (this is true she had actually mentioned where she works and stuff) and that she was going home to sleep because she had work at 7am.
We texted for about an hour or so (talking about pretty menial things) before I decided I'd let her get get sleep. I texted something like "Text me tomorrow if you want to do something or I'll hit you up later." She responded with a sounds good and good night.
Now obviously she didn't text or contact me yesterday, but I didn't really expect her to. I guess I'm asking how should I contact her again? Should I just straight up ask her out to do something specific? Should I just ask how her day was? Should I text or something random?
I'm just having a hard time gauging her actual interest in me.
I'm pretty new to dating, only had 1 gf and had first random hookup on Halloween weekend (in a different city with someone I'm not really interested in in terms of dating). So any advice would be nice. | Fairly new to dating 20[m] gets number at party. Talks for a day but not sure how to initiate again. What should we talk about? Should I just ask her out? |
t3_1vstlk | Parenting | I [25 M] need help preparing to be a father figure to SO's [F 30] son [M 7] (x-post from /r/relationships) | We've been in a relationship for a year now and it's getting to be the point where we're talking about the future, moving in together, and so on. I can see myself being with her indefinitely.
I wasn't intentionally seeking a girl with a child, but it's been all right so far. Me and the kid get along well and I'm a part of his every day life. But with the future in mind, I'm having a little bit of a struggle. I guess I'm wondering: how do you prepare for being a long-term father figure? I think the thing I'm having the hardest time with right now is the sacrifice I'll be making. I went from having all the freedom in the world to having a 7 year old child under my care. Which, as many of you probably know, significantly constrains your freedom.
You're probably thinking "is he ready to settle down?" And it's a good question. I think I am ready -- if not pretty close to being ready. I've had plenty of time to do the college/partying thing. I'm just about done with school and looking toward a good career in the sciences. And I like the kid. But I do sometimes struggle with the idea of the responsibility, the time commitment, and so on.
I'm mainly looking for some real life suggestions. I know I'm not the first person ever to be unsure about their possible role as a father and to wonder if they are 100% prepared to handle it. But I really love this girl, and I'm up for the challenge. Just needing a little guidance. Thank you so much. | Thinking of being long term with a girl who has a 7 year old son. Looking for guidance on how to prepare myself mentally for the journey. |
t3_rmhlh | relationships | GF and I split after a long rough patch. I still think we can work things out, am I a hopeless romantic? | My GF (24/f) and I (25/m) had been in a relationship for about 1.5 years. We had been living in a small studio apartment together too. As of late, I've found myself out of employment for the last 2 months while she's been working 2 jobs and going to school. I've been contributing what I can, mostly through unemployment and blood plasma donation earnings. Lately, it hasn't been enough and I've fallen behind on rent and bills. We got into an argument about money, and in so many words she told me to leave and that it's over. We've had a few arguments leading up to this last one, most of which have revolved around her being so stressed, living in such a small space together, and money issues.
I can understand her point of view; I probably look like a lazy, moneyless, directionless idiot. I've been working my ass of to get resumes out for any type of employment, but nothing has hit so far. I feel like she's afraid that I'll become a leach, and she wants to distance herself from me because we're in opposite situations.
I'm still in love with her, and want us to be together. I'd like to think that we've hit an extremely rough patch and we can get through this, if she's willing to do the same. I want to get my life back on track and get out of this hole I'm in.
However, because she just kicked me out and broke it off it seems as though her actions already say otherwise. | GF and I having money problems, I have no job, GF has two jobs and kicked me out, but I want her back. |
t3_1rgu3t | relationships | I[17/M] want to break up with my girlfriend[17F] of 2 years on Friday but I can't avoid her questions. | So my girlfriend and I have been together for two years and some months. She's been talking seriously about our relationship but I'm planning to end it because I don't feel the same way.
The problem is that we talk online/text a lot. And she's always saying things like she wants to kiss me and shit which I usually dodge by changing the subject or saying that's sweet. She's noticed though and has asked me questions about it, asking me what's up and whether I want to break up with her. I made up some excuse because I really don't want to break up with her over text/FB but she's really about to force me to. She is very persistent. | My GF is asking me (online) whether I want to break up with her. I want to do it in person. How can I avoid the questions? |
t3_2d2ewt | relationships | (F18) My boyfriend (M20) of 3 years broke up with last night out of nowhere | Last night my boyfriend of three years broke up with me last night out of blue. I was completely blind sided. We haven't been fighting at all, and the relationship seemed (to me at least) to be in a good and happy place.
He came to my house last night, cuddled with me, held my hand, kissed me, and then broke up with me. He said I made him feel like shit and that he needed to focus on himself for a while. I asked him if he was sure he didn't want to try to work it out. He said he was sure it he didn't. He said we could still be friends (I know that's really cliché), and that he still loves me.
Like I said, he completely took me by surprise, I never saw it coming. I'm mostly just shocked and heartbroken obviously. There are just a few things that bother me though; he never told me he was feeling this way or having doubts about us (he often holds it in until it's a big problem), I feel like he led me on, our anniversary was less than a month ago and he told me then that he couldn't picture not being with me, that he was going to marry me (he's been saying that through most of our relationship), and that he was so in love. When I confronted him about this last night he said "What was I supposed to do? Ruin our anniversary?" This is a pretty shitty excuse in my eyes, we could of had a lovely anniversary without him saying all those things only to leave me a few weeks later.
I'm handling it better than I thought I would be, however I feel completely heart broken. I know everything will be fine, and life marches on regardless, but need some help understanding everything and getting some closure. I don't know what to do | Boyfriend of three years blind sides me with a break up. I'm having a hard time getting it through my head. |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.