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t3_3ttbzq | dating_advice | Most people seem more sexually free than I feel. What's the modern approach to dating women as a man who is looking for serious relationships only? | I skipped out on the sex scene all through college, not out of any sort of religious conservatism but perhaps more out of personal romanticism. I take things seriously and am looking for love. In the past I have ended a couple budding relationships somewhere in the 4-8 date mark when they turned sexual and I could tell they weren't going to be long-term successes.
I then dated a girl, a truly traditional type, whom I loved very much and had grown up with. Through a year-long relationship we did not have sex, and I promised to move at her speed. For unrelated reasons, she broke my heart and I am back to square one.
As a 24-year old guy, how do I best approach dates in the future? Do I become more sexually liberal in order to expand my options/experiences? (I've never been able to see myself like tinder-ing or whatever). Do I warn women right out of the gate that I'm dating for marriage, or is that too scary of a thing to hear in this day and age?
I am confident in many ways that I am most certainly a prime catch, but something intimidates me about finding footing in a world where all my peers seem to be much more sexually casual.
Basically what I'm afraid of is that I won't find the relationship I'm looking for because I'll end up taking things so slow that I don't seem as confident or interested as I really am. | LADIES, IT'S 2015: WHAT'S THE BEST WAY FOR AN OTHERWISE CONFIDENT MAN TO SHOW A NEW DATE HE'S ONLY INTERESTED IN RELATIONSHIP SEX? |
t3_51limt | legaladvice | (PENNSYLVANIA) Landlord trying to for an extra month | So, our lease was suppose to end on October 6th, we turned in our notice yesterday to not renew, but the landlord states it has to be in by the 1st or pay an extra month.
When I pulled out my lease, it does state a 30 day notice has to be given if you are ending your lease early. But, the "renewal" part where it states "at the end of lease date, or renewal term __ days have to be given notice" and in the __ days, nothing is in there. Do I have to still abide by the 30 day notice or not since nothing is listed in that part for my lease for a renewal. | Originally after the lease date it rolls to a "month to month", however in the renewal part it state "____days" with nothing listed, therefore am I obligated to pay? |
t3_1kkys4 | relationships | I'm [17M] with a shot at an absolute perfect girl [17F] but I'm too shy and inexperienced to know how to get with her. | We've always sort of known each other, but within the past 6 months or so, we've been talking on FB (I don't have a phone) and going for walks/swimming a lot. We at least talk pretty much every day. Since we've started getting to know each other, I've developed a very strong love for her.
My sister (Who's good friends with her), tells me "I'm not gonna say anything, because she's my friend, but if you wanna ask her out, you have a very high chance." And when I'm around her, I feel a prominent mutual feeling between the two of us. I know this sounds nuts, but I think she feels the same way.
The thing is though, she's home-schooled, so I never see her when I'm at school. Its all outside. In school, I'm fairly unpopular and my high level of shyness keeps me from making any more than the 3 or 4 friends I have. Of course, seeing I'm really shy and unpopular, I've never had a girlfriend before. I've never really ever been in a potential relationship thing before. I'm experience-less when it comes to this stuff.
I really want to be with this girl. It's the first time I think I've legitimately LOVED someone before. I want her to know how I feel, because I've been keeping it in for a while and if anything, I've just come to love her even more. So Reddit, how do I tell her that I want to be with her? Are there any little things I can do that go a long way?
Are there any particular kinds of ways/places I should do it? I just need a bit of guidance, because I have none, and anything at all will help me so much.
Can't explain my thankfullness. | Want to be with a girl I think I have a chance with, but my lack of experience leads me nowhere on how to get with her. |
t3_hhq6p | AskReddit | I think my padre might be sleeping around. What now? | So, here is the back story. My parents are still together, yet they do not live in the same household. They used to, up until 2 years ago when my dad was laid off. He found work in a different state, and jumped at the opportunity. It was my senior year of HS, and my brothers last of middle school, so the whole family didn't want to relocate at that point. I just joined my dad for the summer to work an internship with him. I was looking for a guitar pick, and he said check his room. In his nightstand drawer was 6 or 7 condoms and a empty bottle of cialis. This is pure evidence to him sleeping around, because my mom has yet to visit him in this new state, he is always the one to come home and visit. What do I do know? Pretend I didn't find anything? Or start asking questions? | My dad works in a different state, still married. Came up for the summer to work with him. Found condoms and cialis in his drawer. |
t3_442g1x | dating_advice | Running Out of Ideas | I have known this girl since sophomore year of high school, (I am a college freshman now), and we started talking again two months ago since he came to the college I go to now. We started hanging out more. We started texting longer and longer to the point where I wouldn't sleep at all in the night and I would have class at 8:30 the next day. She acts like she likes me in person, and through texts. She even proposed we go on a double date with a mutual friend.
Recently I have told her that I really like her and I really want to progress our friendship into something else. She says love how much I care for her, and how much I like her, and how much I make her happy. She said that I am perfect and wants to kiss me, but she says she doesn't see me as a boyfriend. | A friend from high school, now in college together, says she doesn't want a relationship at the moment even though she says I make her happy and I am perfect. |
t3_grigu | Advice | Did I fall in love too soon? | Okay, well.
I'm wrapping up my freshman year in college. Just about 19 years old. At the beginning of the year, I met a guy who I absolutely fell head over heels for, and he did for me as well. We became so close, very quickly, felt like we'd known each other for years and years. We have had a wonderful relationship.
He is just ending his sophomore year and will be twenty soon. During his freshman year, he had quite the "experience". He went clubbing, bars, all that shit, hooked up with random people almost every weekend... you know - he did his thing.
Me? I feel like I'm a 35 year old in college. We never go out to anything but restaurants to eat. We don't really do much on the "partying" or "bar" or "club" scene. I have never had the experiences he has - I've never gone to a club and danced with 10 people and hooked up with 5 of them, which might sound shallow - but I feel as if have missed a great freshman experience.
I do love him, and he is probably the closest person to me I've ever known, but should I be worried that I'm missing life experiences that I'll regret when I'm forty? Or whenever?
I don't have crazy stories, memories, regrets, anything... | Boyfriend had all his college and "young" life experiences before me - I am now ending my freshman year having had little to none. |
t3_r65bw | AskReddit | Why can't I forget her? | A little bit of info: there's this girl I've liked for a while now (a few months). She liked me last year, during the school year. I asked her to be my girlfriend last summer, and she said she wanted to wait until school started (we're in highschool). So September rolls around and I waited. I don't know why. Then when November comes along, I ask her again, except she shoots me down. Now whenever I think about dating or relationships, all I can think about is her. No one else is even remotely a possibility in my mind. How the hell did this happen? Why? How do I forget her? | Girl used to like me, asked her out, said to wait until school started, asked her out again, shot me down. Can't stop thinking about her now, no other girl is a potential SO in my mind. |
t3_1ejn8a | tifu | TIFU by playing Call of Duty | Alright, not sure if this post will make you cringe, but sure as *hell* made me cringe. So I'm attending a dance tonight, and I though to myself, "Hey, why not play some video games to chillax for a bit?"
I hop on the 'ole Xbox and launch the first game that catches my eye in my half-assed collection: Call of Duty Black Ops II. First mistake. I'm a notoriously loud serial rager, and have one helluva potty mouth to boot. Second mistake? Deciding to try and raise my K/D.
You can probably see where this is going.
Anyways, I get into a few lobbies, quit, play a bit and then quit, and decide to play some Kill Confirmed on Raid. Its one of my favorite maps in the game, so I decide to go tryhard.
Fast forward to my second VSAT streak; I'm one measly confirm away from my VSAT, and decide to call in my chopper. Bad move.
Next thing I know, Jimmy Quickscopes comes up and gats me, causing me to scream a hearty, "FUCKING FAGGOT!" into my mic.
No big deal, right? Everyone rages. Wrong.
See, today is a Friday night. Which means my younger and *impressionable as hell* kid sister has piano lessons. With her openly gay piano instructor.
Added bonus: Since I have a dance to attend, I get to awkwardly shuffle by them as I leave.
*Shit.* | I screamed "FUCKING FAGGOT!" while my impressionable kid sister and her openly gay piano instructor were out in the living room. I get to walk by them in about 20 minutes. |
t3_3nv7fw | relationships | Me (22M) looking for ways for my gf (22F) and I to get back to a healthy lifestyle | Me and my gf have been dating for almost a year. When we both met, we where fairly fit and active. She was still in school and doing yoga and I was working a fairly active job and working out on the side. But recently there have been some major changes that have made us both less active and subsequently less healthy. She has since graduated and has found a full time job that she enjoys but has found herself to be exausted at the end of a shift and in need of some chill time (which is absolutely needed). She has also lost her ability to go to yoga classes that where offered for free by the school. She has expressed interest in finding a studio but the prices around my area are fairly steep. I have since changed jobs and now work 3pm-midnight monday-friday and find myself staying up till the early hours of the morning and sleeping most of the day. I have also stopped going to the gym and have become fairly sedentary. When me and my gf hang out on weekends it usually includes heavy drinking and videogames, going out to a movie or dinner, just things like that. We have both gained some weight and have noticed it. She isant fond of working out or walking and I'm not really sure how to bring about this change without sounding like an asshat. I really want to get away from drinking so much and maybe find better ways to spend our time together. But with our conflicting schedules it can be hard. What are some things that we could do together to be healthier and get us out doing other things? | my girlfriend and I have gained some weight and picked up some unhealthy habbits. What are some things we could do to get us living healthier more fulfilling lives together? |
t3_xqg12 | BreakUps | I want to be friends with my ex but I'm not sure how to approach it and when the right time to do so is. Help? ex /relationships post | My ex(M21) and I(F19) broke up a month ago today. We were together about 6 months.
He broke up with me for silly reasons but told me eventually he wanted us to be able to talk again and be friends. As I am healing, I do want to be friends with him but I'm still not ready. I'm not even sure how to approach being friends since I have never done it before.
I'm afraid that I'll fall for him again because of how I felt for him. But I miss him dearly and I miss talking to him. We were best friends and he was who I was closest to for the past six months.
Can anyone help me? | Boyfriend broke up with me, but wants to remain friends. I'm getting over breakup, want to be friends as well but do not know how or when it is acceptable to do so |
t3_2lpla6 | relationships | Me [19 M] with my Girlfriend [18 F] 1 Year, Long distance girlfriend acts awful towards me while drunk | My girlfriend attends a university about 4.5 hours from me. We make distance work and visit each other at least once every two weeks
Well last night she went to a frat party because her friend was visiting from out of town, got VERY DRUNK and started trying to make me jealous via texts. Her attitude got worse and worse as she called me a few times during the night. I was on the phone with her to make sure she got home safe, and right before she went to bed she basically cussed me out for no reason and told me I was being mean to her, that she could do better, that she was about to bang a guy (which I know isn't true) and that I'm single.
This morning she called me and didn't remember our conversation, she felt super sorry but excused herself that she was drunk. She tells me that this is why she doesn't want to go out when I'm not around and that I mean the world to her. However, she says she's going back out tonight because her friend who's visiting wants to get the full experience.
I'm at a loss what to do, last night REALLY upset me, I really do love her, but I just couldn't imagine doing something like this to a person that I actually love. | Girlfriend got too drunk last night, teased me about other guys, drunkenly broke up with me, and doesn't remember any of it |
t3_40yxoi | loseit | A different kind of question about weight fluctuations | So I am obviously a fellow loser. To give you my stats: I am a 5'1 female SW: 184lbs CW: 125lbs GW: 105lbs. I started losing last February and hit my soft goal of 120lbs around October. Holidays hit and I was more flexible with my diet (read: ate everything in site) and gained a few lbs back. No big deal, I still look and feel good. So that's all fine. I obviously know how to lose weight.
Here's the problem:
My work is starting an 8-week weight loss challenge beginning January 25. I've already lost a lot of weight. This challenge is measured by body fat reduction using an Inbody machine we have available to us. There is significant monetary rewards in place (1st prize is $1200). More importantly I feel like this challenge will help me stay motivated to lose the remainder of my body fat (was 31% in November). This is also a group effort so I feel like my team can help motivate each other (I wouldn't want to be the responsible party not holding up my end of the deal come final weigh in etc.)
Here's my question to all of you lovely folks (and possible ex-wrastlers):
I'm not looking to cheat by any means. I'm just looking to use the natural fluctuation of weight to my advantage. It's got me down several times in the past (I'm looking right at you Hickory Farms sausage and cheese platter) but this time I want to use that to benefit us. I'm only writing here because I feel like I'm already at a disadvantage to my team because I did most of my weight loss last year. I still have body fat to lose but is there anything that can be done to increase my initial weigh in? I read eat hella salty foods the day before (yay sausage). And maybe drink extra water? And sorry if this comes off as completely unethical. I know professional bodybuilders and wrestlers use water weight fluctuations to aide them..just looking to do the same. | Experienced loser here. What are some possibly sketchy but not completely unethical things I can do to increase my weight before a weight loss challenge weigh in? |
t3_3pryii | tifu | TIFU by being too curious | So this happened when I was around 8 years old. I was a happy kid who loved playing outside. This day I happened to be alone hanging around our back porch, seeing what new wonders I could find when I stumbled upon something I'd never seen before. It was white and looked like it'd be fun to toss around, so of course I reached for it. As soon as I touched it the thing exploded, and **THOUSANDS** of baby spiders started scrambling up my arms and all over my body. It was like that scene from Charlotte's Web except ALL OVER ME. I started thrashing around and screamed loud enough to get the neighbors to peep out, but of course they couldn't see the spiders. They probably just thought I was being a stupid kid. My mom ran onto the porch, freaked out, and eventually just hosed me down in my underwear till she was sure there were no more spiders.
I felt the crawling for days.... | A spider sac (?) burst on me and I had to be hosed down like it was my first day at prison. |
t3_188klx | relationships | [M23/F23] What should I do with my relationship, I think it is going downhill.? | dk where to start, but I think I would try my best to put everything out so you guys can have the better picture. First of all, thank you for taking your time to read my story, I am really appreciate it. I am not native english speaker, so there would be some grammatical errors, please bear it with me, though I would try my best to express myself clearly. Also, we both from Asian family and our parents do control us to a great degree... we still living with the parents.
I met my current gf, and she is my first too, about 3 years ago thru a friend. We hit it off pretty fast, just after 1 month, we r bf and gf. At first, everything went perfectly fine, we care for each others, and try to go out as much as we can. I was an introvert person. Before I met her, all I do is go to school, then gaming. I didn't have any social life, nor having experience with girls before.
Everything was fine, there were this and that arguments, but none to be so bad. However, one problem usually the cause of our arguments, my family.
Even though her parents are strict, and she had to follow what they said, I am usually ok with whatever she want. It is different for me. My mother usually call me, and it annoys her. I spent great deal of time with my gf, and my mom need to me focus on our family too. Gf hated that.... she often says I choose my family over gf and keep bring up breaking up everytime we argue. Today problem is also because of this. I am a really easy guy, every time we have issues, 99% it is me to say sorry, to console her.... But it appears that she becomes the boss in our relationship. I really love her and I need to fix this issue... Are there any advices you guys could give me?
If my story too vague and unclear, please let me know so I can explain.
Thank you. | GF and I always have problems related to my parents, though I can always tolerate her issues related to her parents. Need help to fix it. |
t3_3c111y | tifu | TIFU by sending emails to my university professors from an inappropriate email address | Not today, more like the entire last 2 years.
~3 years ago I bought Guild Wars 2, on it's release day. I decided I would make some videos of it to upload to youtube. I had started using outlook, and I had an email account with a pretty decent address with my name on it. Don't really remember why, but I decided to change my name on that account to the name of my youtube channel and I changed the profile photo aswell, to my GW2 character portrait.
Fast forward half year, I had stopped the videos (didn't really got much into it) and changed that email account's profile name back to my real name, and deleted the profile picture. In my view, I had no profile picture and I was using my real name. All okay, I decided to make this email (I really like outlook) my main email.
Fast forward half year again, I entered in university. And I was putting this email everywhere. My professors would contact me to this email and I would email them from there.
1 month ago I sent an email to my friend that was sitting right next to me since we didn't had pens or anything to transfer files. I was the one that opened the email on his computer. What do I see? My shitty gaming youtube channel name with my shitty character portrait as profile pic. I tested right away if this was a bug or something by sending an email to another friend of mine, that never had gotten an email from me. Same thing! My life ended right there. 2 entire years changing emails with university professors having a shitty profile pic and retarded gaming name. Was pretty much the "walk of shame" without walking. | In the last 2 years I have been changing emails with university professors and using an outlook email account for everything related to university with a gaming portrait and retarded gaming name as my identifiers. |
t3_47lljf | tifu | TIFU by not locking the bathroom door | This didn't happen today. This happened about 5 years ago, I was 16 at the time.
I was shaving in the bathroom (yes I had a beard at 16) with a straight razor (I used those back then because I thought they looked cool). Anyway our bathroom door used to stick a bit so sometimes you had to push it hard to get it open and the sink was in a position where the door would be right on my left. So as I'm shaving my mom decides to come into the bathroom for whatever reason. Now I hadn't locked the door because I was just shaving. I hear my mom try to open the door but before I can let her know that I'm in there, she kinda just bum rushes the door (Guess she had to go real bad lol) and the door hits my elbow as I'm holding the razor on my cheek (I'm a leftie) and I ended up slicing one inch cut on my face.
Now she is just staring at me and blood it dripping from my jaw and I'm like wtf. anyway didn't need any stitches and it faded after a few years but it's still visible. it hit me later on what if I was shaving throat.... | forgot to lock bathroom door. mom barged in and hit my hand with a door while I was shaving. sliced my face open. |
t3_3oaf74 | relationships | Me [21/M] is getting ignored by my friend [28F] when there's other people around. | Me and this girl have work together for over a year now, in a fairly big store. we were not in the same department but still had a decent amount of interaction together. Over the time i grew to like her she was like the second girl I've ever had as a friend (asked her out got rejected because of age difference anyways not the point). That was about 10 months ago. Recently (last 1-2 months) we have become better friends I would, we would talk a lot about other relationship stuff and all that jazz. But the problem is when any other of her coworker is around and the ones that i know pretty well. she just seem to completely ignore me, she walks by like if I'm not even there.
I've been trying to think why, the mains reason come to mind, she doesn't want to make people we are dating or anything (there was a rumor that some point)
she just like me giving her attention
she doesn't want want to be seen talking to a person of another section (we work at the store but are not part of the store we dont get any of the benefits and get payed less.)
Anyways I really like her as a friend, I like our talks and our interaction together. but this really annoys me and makes me feel like shit.
I was wondering if i should talk to her about, maybe wait a bit longer sees if it happens a lot more. Just give her less attention | Girl at work is always happy to see me/talk to me when there no one else. but when there other people its like i don't excite. |
t3_o4za6 | AskReddit | How do you know if it's love, lust, or just plain obsession? | No matter where I am, what I'm doing or where I'm at this girl is the only thing I can think about. We were together for two months and had the most awseome time together, but we broke up over Facebook drama and I haven't spoke to her since July. I'm fine most days but as soon as her name comes up, or I see a picture of her, or something reminds me of her my mind spirals into thoughts of all the good times we had and how much I enjoyed being around her.
Have you ever met someone you know it will never work out with, but at the same time urn for them at the slightest reminder? Do I confess my feelings to her out of the blue and hope she feels the same? Do i keep my mouth shut and keep trying to block her out?
Iv'e broken up with plenty of girls in my time and it's never been a big problem, but somehow I can't shake this one. She told me never to talk to her again, so do I continue to keep my mouth shut or do I go after her tell her how I really feel? It's never as easy as the movies. I don't want to come off as a creeper, I just want to know when enough is enough.
Do I walk away, do I attempt to explain my feelings, am I just being a big pussy? Just need a third party's opinion here, reddit is pretty impartial so it seems like the right choice. | When do you know if it's love, lust, or just stupidity that keeps your mind focused on that special someone. |
t3_34hd4q | tifu | TIFU by not taking to my crush | This just happened few hours ago.
I live in hostel for my studies so I come back home rarely. Few months back, I met this pretty girl at a chemist shop and I had a huge crush on her. She was like 9/10. I gathered some courage and went to talk to her. I asked her about her college and talked to her on few stupid topics like I wanted to organize an event in her college, I'm a developer and all stupid technical crap which she thought was legit. We talked for 5-10 mins and then she said that her college focuses mostly on academics, so the event won't be possible. I tried to convince her because then I would get more time to spend with her, but she told that it wad her first year in the university so she wouldn't be of much help. We talked for next 5 mins and then she left. I don't know why but I didn't ask her name, probably because I thought she'll think I was just making a move on her all this time.
I came back home after few days before and in the morning today I saw her going to the bus stop in her college uniform. I recognized her in a minute but I didn't had the courage to talk to her. She passed in front of me and we didn't talk.
Although I noticed the time of her bus and will be going tomorrow to talk to her.
Can anyone advice me, how to talk or approach? | Met a girl few months back, couldn't ask her name. Saw her today but didn't had the courage to talk to her. |
t3_48jbs3 | relationships | [LDR] My [24/f] gf of 4 years is getting fatter and I [27/m] don't know how to approach the problem | So, first of all, sorry if I sound like a douche because I know that this is a delicate subject, secondly, I'll try to keep this short as possible.
Long story short, we've been together for 4 years and in a loving and healthy long distance relationship for the last 13 months where we get to be together for a week each 3 months or so. We talk every day, but almost never via skype due to being in different time zones, work shifts and classes. If everything goes acording to plan, we'll be living together again within 2 years.
The problem is, she gained almost 45 pounds in these last 13 months. At first I didn't thought much of it, everyone gains some and loses weight and I still found her reaaaaaallly attractive. But now? Last week, when she went to get me at the airport, I had to force myself not to look shocked when I saw her, in these last 3 months she gained around 20 pounds and I'm starting to feel less attracted to her. In the first 3 years of our relationship she always had this amazing body that would instantly turn me on, but this last week.. It seemed like someone switched bodies with her, I knew it was her, but when I looked at her lying in bed it's like I didn't recognize it was her body.
She knows she's gained weight, she comments on how some clothes don't fit anymore, how her ass looks huge and stuff like that, but she never says anything about doing something about it. About 6 months ago I suggested her joining a gym or some other activity to "help her get some distraction from work and meet new people" (it was my "excuse", but is also true) she got mad at me, asked me if I thought she was fat and if I didn't find her attractive anymore. So, how the hell do I approach this subject without hurting her feelings? | gf is getting fatter each day, I'm starting to feel less attracted to her, I don't know how to handle this, help |
t3_uer3d | relationship_advice | After being a lurker for a while this is my first post. Need advice 20 year old female wants a girlfriend but unsure how to go about it | Im a 20 year old single female.
I havent always thought i was bi sexual. during school me and my best friend were close and we kind of fooled around abit nothing major. Ive had boyfriends since then and been happy with all my boyfriends. But if i've watched porn its been lesbian porn, and if i masturbate i think about girls. I've kissed lesbians on drunken nights out. But this one time i kissed a friend leah (who i knew was a lesbian) that night we held hands walking and stuff and i really liked her. Nothing came of it though because she was moving on with someone else while i was going out with guys again. I still speak to her now and ive had many conversations with her as of why im confused...
None of my friends have the slightest idea about this. I dont know what it is.. i kind of think i would be happier with a girlfriend than a boyfriend because i see girls as more attractive and beautiful on the inside (no offence to any guys) but at the same time i still find men attractive and crave the whole protector thing.
Which makes me think it may be just a sexual thing. I kinda want to experience sex with a girl but i have no idea how to go about it... i signed up to match.com as a lesbian but i actually came across afew profiles i knew were fake and got abit weary of it.
I know i could always go to a gay club and take a girl home but i dont want to go about it that way... i go have alot of gay guy friends and afew lesbian friends who know this situation but im too shy to ask them to set me up with someone. i kind of feel like unless i know what its like to be with a girl both in a relationship and sexually ill never be happy... | i want a relationship with a girl but i dont know how to go about it or if its just a phase (thats lasted years) |
t3_4zvjf0 | relationships | My coworker [24/m] kissed me [21/f] last night and his girlfriend caught us? | I went out with a group of coworkers last night. Later that night, a coworker of mine who's been flirty since I met him ended up telling me he wanted to show me something in his house and took me to his back yard, where we sat on a bench to look at the stars and he kissed me. He told me he really likes me, thinks i'm amazing, etc. I let him kiss me for a a few minutes, then told him I would never go further with a guy who has a girlfriend. After that we were just talking when his girlfriend comes up his back yard at 3am and sees us sitting there talking, tells me to leave, and I heard her slap him on the face as I left.
This morning I wake up to see they've broken up on facebook. She tagged my name so everyone can see who I am, and made it sound like I have been intentionally sleeping with the guy for months (when last night was the first time we ever hung out outside of work). Now my co-workers are seeing this, which is embarassing for me and makes me look like a whore - she makes it sound like she caught us in bed instead of just talking on a bench.
Now I don't know what to do? I'm not sure how to act when I see this guy at work, how to clear my name at work, and I'm not sure if I should message the girl and tell her nothing really happened. I KNOW kissing him was wrong, but I don't want people to think all this other stuff happened. | Flirty guy at work kissed me, and his girlfriend caught us when we were just talking. They broke up this morning and now Idk how to act when I see this guy at work, to ignore him or act normal? |
t3_x2s8n | AskReddit | Reddit - what's the most messed up thing a good friend has done to you? | I was thinking back over some times at college and one time really stuck out in my memory:
First time I brought my girlfriend back to my house for sexy-time, I had texted ahead to one of my friends saying that I would be back late (post nightclub). Coming back into the house with no-one around, we drunkenly stumbled up the stairs and into my (dark) room - didn't bother to turn the lights on and ripped each other's clothes off. About 10 mins into enjoying some titties - I notice two dark red pinpoints in the corner of the room. Swimming into my memory came the fact that one of my housemates had just received the limited edition of COD that came with nightvision goggles. mfw. Turns out he had planned ahead to camp in the corner and had a little home-made live show all set up when we arrived back that night! | my housemate thought it would be funny to camp in the corner of my room with NVGs when I was having sexytime. |
t3_4ybked | Advice | How do I (F31) start liking the outdoors, or outdoors activities? | Hi, I realize this is a weird question, but I need advice, and help.
I grew up in a outdoorsy family, I was forced to go along with a LOT of trips and fishing and the sort. I did enjoy myself as a kid on the trips, but next time I did NOT want to go - it's just not what I like to do. (Set me down in a city and I'll explore for hours,but forests, fishing all that stuff...no thanks.)
Now,I married an outdoorsloving man, and we have gone on a couple of trips together, and I did enjoyed those back in the day. But, as of right now, I am very overweight, with a pelvic problem, where the pelvic sort of dislocates randomly at will, and the pain is excruciating. So when my husband and our eldest went on a fishing trip, and loved it, and want to go again at once please!!, I was slightly distraught. Not that I wasn't happy for her, I want her to be healthy and happy and pursue what she wants to do. But - I dread the prospect of going along on trips. And if we bring all the kids, I have to go, not only for safety but carrying the load and whatnot. Not just because of the pain that might come of it, but I honestly hate it. The bugs, (I have bug and spiderphobia) the going to the toilet outside where anyone (and their drones) can see, and I just don't plain like it. I don't like fishing, I don't like eating fish, even, so fishing it just seems cruel and unnecessary. Is there any way someone like me can grow to like, or to love, going outside? I want to do this for the kids, but also for me - I could use a healthy outdoorshobby. Thanks for reading this far, and sorry if this doesn't fit your group. | I'm a overweight F31 w health issues whose husband and kids love the outdoors, but I hate it. How do I grow to like it, is it possible? |
t3_1orx2r | relationships | How do I [26F] know if I'm just very fond of my guy friend [26M] or I'm actually falling for him? | Hi there! I [26F] have a lot of friends, but they are all female and it's been that way ever since I hit puberty. My major in college was female-dominated, as is my current field of work. I have been in one relationship after another for many years, and I feel like the only interactions I have with guys are one of a flirtatious nature. I just don't really know how else to interact a straight guy.
Two months ago, I made my first straight male friend [26M] in my recent memory. I met him online and haven't met him in person (he lives in another country; I could potentially visit if I wanted to). We talk all the time and get along very well. We talk for hours, confide in one another, watch movies together, and would rather spend time with each other than do other things...
He tells me he sees me as a good friend. I was in a relationship until a week ago, and while I was still with my boyfriend, I asked the guy friend if it'd make any difference if I weren't in a relationship. He said it's a hard question since he actively tries not to think about it. I let my friend know about the breakup. He was concerned it might have been because of him, and I reassured him it was not.
I like what we have going as of now. I do feel very affectionate towards my guy friend, and being an expressive person, I want to show it, but I don't know what the boundaries are. I guess I'm overall confused about my feelings and how people with very close friends of the opposite gender know if it's just a friendship or a budding romance. | I [26F] have very little experience with befriending straight guys, became close friends with one, and am confused about my feelings. |
t3_2tjuiz | relationships | Me [15F] with my mum [40s F] she said that when I turned 16 she still would not let boys in my room. | I expect I'll just sound like some kind of annoying, disrespectful teenage girl, but here goes - all replies are greatly appreciated.
I was speaking to my mum yesterday evening about an argument we'd been having earlier on. She was saying how the house (which I have lived in since birth) was *her house* and that I should be respectful of what I did and said to her in *her house*. I was okay with that, especially when she added that my room was my personal space.
I then, jokingly, asked if (when I was 16) I could take boys into my room - my implication was for sex, as by that time I would be legal and she'd said before to me that if I was to do anything with boys I'd *have* to be 16 and in a relationship. She said no, and seemed kinda shocked that I'd asked that.
She then proceeded to inform me that I was never going to have sex in *her house* so I pointed out that as I would be legal there would be nothing she could do about it. Wrong. She threatened that she'd phone up the boys' parents about my behavior if I didn't abide by her rules.
I don't know why but I was quite pissed off. I want to know if you guys think she was being unreasonable: many of my friends have started having sex, and even those who aren't, their parents would be pretty cool with it. Also, I don't think phoning my future boyfriends' parents would help as, like I said, most of my friends' parents are fine with sex (and by sex I'm including sexual contact) at their house. So, either way, I can still most likely sleep/whatever with these guys anyway - just not at my house.
Above all, the whole situation irritates me because when someone of the male gender is in my bedroom alone, we're *not necessarily having sex*. I don't want to be pushed into the lounge just because I have uptight parents who not only won't accept any sort of sexual relationships with guys at my age, or even for any of my male friends to come into my room alone. | my mum won't let boys come into my room and has said that she'll continue this even when I'm 16 (at which point sex will be legal). |
t3_gt6ee | loseit | 10 cent wings, and how I stayed strong. | A favorite bar here in Boston has 10 cent wings every Monday and Tuesday.
Some friends wanted to go, so I went.
I happily enjoyed a cup of the house chili with a side of steamed mixed veggies. I powered through and didn't feel like I was missing out, my will power was greater than that of my body's craving for fat and carbs.
This is the beginning of my sixth week losing weight, and so far I've lost 20 lbs.
I started at 232 and have a good deal to go before my goal weight of 175.
Thank you Loseit, for allowing me to lurk, get off my ass and start losing weight. I've been counting calories with the MyFitnessPal app, and going to my college's gym 5 times a week. :)
You all are the driving force behind my weight loss, and I owe you my life (or at least my arteries). | I could have had 10 cent hot wings.... but then I didn't.... WE ALL CAN'T BE EXCITING ALL THE TIME GUYS, JEEZ! |
t3_vamxz | loseit | Any geeks for random information? I use this to motivate me to eat healthy. | If I have the chance, I like to look up health benefits/content of food while I'm eating (healthy or not). Although it's better to concentrate on the food itself, I have a hard time sitting still and this reading helps me to focus on the food and not grab for a remote.
This motivates me to eat well, or discourages me from eating poorly, all while building my food/nutrition knowledge. Over the past 3 months, I've learned the primary vitamins/minerals of many a fruit and vegetable, as well as some unhealthy foods (I didn't even want to finish my hostess cupcake when i read the ingredients).
Sorry if this isn't the place, but this has made the difference for me, as I wake up and think about how mushrooms are packed with B-vitamins and minerals versus poptarts that have more fat per package than a serving of ice cream. I choose the mushroom omelet more often now. | I learn fun (IMO) facts about the foods I'm eating while eating - intimately knowing the composition of my foods helps me to choose healthier and be more mindful of what's going in my body. |
t3_33yqvt | tifu | TIFU by realizing I have romantic feelings towards one of my best friends. | This didn't happen exactly today, but the realization has been slowly coming to me over time. It's pretty much exactly what it sounds like. I started noticing little stuff; I'd feel a little jealous when guys would hit on her, think about how good she always looks, realize how much I loved to hear her laugh and just be with her in general.
The problem is, we've been good friends for a while, we have a lot of mutual friendships built up together..and she has a boyfriend. Dude is a good guy as far as I know, treats her well, she really likes him. I find myself wishing they'd break up (which is extremely selfish and petty in this situation), which likely won't happen. I get jealous when she talks about him, which I have no right to do.
All in all, seeing her less is not an option in my life at this point. I'll be seeing her everyday for at least the next year. I've felt this way for a long time, but I wasn't sure if it was my own insecurity about lack of relationships or that it was her. It's definitely her, everything about her. I fell for her because I honestly like everything about her; every quirk and idiosyncrasy is cute, love talking to her... And I'm the bad guy in this situation, and I don't know how to change what's in my heart. | I've fucked up by falling for one of my best friends, who is in a committed relationship with a great guy. |
t3_3e8ojg | tifu | TIFU by going #2 with no where to go. | Okay, so I would guess this would be considered a bodily discharge and it isn't the weekend. This also happened when I was in high school, over 6 years ago. So if this is removed, I'll understand.
One summer day, a coworker/bro and I decided to go hiking in a wooded area/nature preserve in the middle of a small city close to OKC. Later that day we were supposed to both attend a mandatory meeting and decided a short hike down a mile or so trail and back would be cool and then we would go to said meeting. Well, cue FU which I guess is less of a FU and more of an I unfortunate situation. We're halfway on the return trip walking down the trail and I have a sudden urge to go # 2. I try to hold it in and walk slower and with careful deliberation such as if walking on ice. I tell my coworker/friend that I'm having troubles and jokingly say I may not make it. Soon after I become more serious and tell him to just walk ahead and I'll catch up. Cue me, stepping just off the trail to drop my pants and do as nature does and leave a steamy pile for the flies and whatever else may come down the trail. Also, with no TP and not wanting to risk using the wrong leaf(accidental poison ivy on my chocolate maker, I go commando after using my boxers. | Had meeting later in the day at work, went on a short hike with coworker, had to poo....pooed in the woods. It was awkward but laughable after. |
t3_37vbx1 | relationships | Me[17m] with this new girl[17f] just started talking(about a week), not really sure what to do | Back story: A month ago I was hospitalized for major depressive disorder, and I was in a very bad place. The day before my discharge, I find out my girlfriend of 7 months(now ex) dumped me for no apparent reason.
With everything going on, I had been struggling a lot and this was essentially kicking my while I was down. My relationship with my parents strained(but that might be another post). School overloaded me with work, and I couldn't juggle everything.
The girl mentioned in the title asked my friend[17m]'s girlfriend[17f] to introduce her to one of his friends, which happened to be me. We started talking a little bit and finally met up at a local beach and we sat and talked for a couple of hours.
Even though we didn't do much I enjoyed it a lot; she is very charismatic and has a delightful personality. She said she enjoyed it as well, which is good.
But I am not sure for the life of me what to do. Keep going and see where things end up, or figure things out in my own life first. I have no clue where to go with it either, or really how to kind of pick up on clues as to whether she is interested. It's been quite awhile and after everything I've gone through I just want a break and to not screw up, so I welcome any advice on what I should do or how to pick up on hints of interest and whatnot. Really any advice. | Got dumped by 7 month girlfriend while in the midst of depression, shortly after met this wonderful girl and I don't know what to do. |
t3_4belur | relationships | Me [23M] with my girlfriend [20F] of two months, we are in a LDR, I have trust issues and everything is always worst case scenario in my head. | So I met this girl and we hit it off big time. She's great as well as our relationship thus far. She treats me how I should be treated and I appreciate her for it. She's honest, kind-hearted, and genuine.
My previous SO was a really shady piece of shit and I never really trusted her. I've learned now that being with this girl that those trust issues are still with me even though this girl is not shady at all.
I always imagine the worst in my head and it's fucking me up. Just one example is..
"Hasn't texted back in 15 minutes?" "She's up to something"
I know that's vague, but it's just a little example of this thought process that I can't seem to shake. The instant theres any shred of uncertainty I can't help but to think the worst.
Also, she has guy friends. Everyone has friends of the opposite sex and I understand that, but I also find myself thinking that maybe her and her guy friends are more than just friends.
I really like this girl and think she is special and I want to try and fix this. | Met a great girl and we have a great relationship, but I can't seem to shake the thought process that my ex left in me. |
t3_bnzkd | AskReddit | Dear Reddit: our upstairs neighbor plays piano and sings REALLY POORLY. | just about every day, we hear our upstairs neighbor play piano and sing. i actually think he recently started using a microphone when he practices singing, because sometimes it is way louder than others. he sings *terribly*. like, really, if i ran into him (i don't know what he looks like, but my boyfriend does), i'd be too embarrassed to even engage in polite conversation, having heard his terrible singing on a daily basis since last august.
the funny thing is, he's come downstairs to ask us to turn our music/video games/whatever down twice (around 10 or 11pm, hours when it should be reasonable for us to have some not-too-loud noise going on) but he's played piano loudly after midnight at least twice, and we didn't even complain to him then. the most annoying thing is when he plays during the day when we're trying to sleep (we sleep in kind of late because we're students and we can) or when one or both of us is trying to write a paper or do readings for class. sure, i could go to the library, but i shouldn't be forced to if i feel more comfortable working in my own apartment!
anyway, do you redditors have any funny (but innocent/harmless) suggestions of ways to hint to this neighbor that *maybe* he should practice elsewhere and reserve his "talents" for people who are more likely to appreciate them? we've been really patient for a long time now, but it's really, truly annoying. we wouldn't even mind if he didn't sing so terribly. we love music. but he is just awful. | our neighbor upstairs plays piano and sings really badly and i'd like some suggestions as to how we can subtley convince him to stfu |
t3_2del2l | relationships | Me [18/M] Ignoring by my crush [21/F] Because she's older than me? | Long story short, Met this abit older than me woman, Love at first sight, We became friends, and my love for her grew day by day, But she's ignoring me because of the fact that i'm younger than her? It's almost a friendzone, but it goes like, I leave her signals, like really honest and obvious signals that are mixed with flirts, Im pretty sure she gets them, But she ignores them for the sake of this friendship.
Like for once, i let her a pretty obvious signal, She disappeared on chat, the next day she started chatting as if nothing happened, and then she said something about it being the "best day ever because she met the perfect guy and he made her feel like everything would be fine". And now all she talks about is him? And im pretty sure he exists and she's not faking it..
But you might ask, "why do you think she's ignoring you because you're younger?" The reason why is because she always mentions the age difference, sometimes she calls me "her little friend or her small brother.. *fml*" And she already said something about not dating younger guys or shes not into any guy who's not younger than her to her other friends.
Should i just ignore her and live on? Your call reddit, i need help.. | Ignored by the woman i love because im younger than her, proceeds to date the perfect guy a day after i leave her an obvious signal. |
t3_1wenhp | dating_advice | Me [20 M] with an acquaintance [20 F] a few days, we belong to a club at college and I'm wondering if I should ask her out. Details in description. | Hey y'all, so I've got quite a conundrum. I went camping this weekend with the outdoors club at my school. I just realized that I'm crushing on one of the girls that I kinda talked with. I didn't ask her out but I will see her on other camping trips/events. Should I ask her out at the next event and risk it being awkward when we do go camping again, if she says no? I can't avoid her at the events.
Oh yeah.. This'll be my second time asking out a girl and the first time I was rejected by another girl so my confidence isn't way up there. I also barely see her on campus. Any help? | I like a girl who is in the same club as me but I don't want to make it awkward by asking her out. |
t3_2s2wt1 | personalfinance | Offered new job, boss wants me to move into a production house, needing advice | Without getting too personal, I'm looking for financial advice about this job I'm considering.
Long time IT/admin/computer guy (brutal hours, wildly fluctuating pay, no dignity) who's considering taking a new job as a producer. The content isn't too important for this discussion, but there will be music, video, and other forms of content, as well as utilizing my skills as a computer network admin and programmer. This position is essentially being invented just for me, as there is practically no one in the world who has the weird combination of skills I have (not tooting my horn, I'm just a weird guy). The skills required and job itself aren't necessarily the issue here.
The major caveat is that the manager, who is an old friend and a very business savvy guy, wants me to live in a house he has leased to be a production studio. He's offered me a room to stay in, no bills, and on top of very competitive pay. But I don't understand the legal or financial impact of this arrangement. We've also yet to determine if I would be salaried, hourly, independent contractor, etc. I've dealt with several different W and I forms before, but never in this kind of environment.
This job is very intriguing, but I simply can't fathom how it will impact my earnings/taxes.
What are the labor laws regarding living in a certain place as a requirement for a job?
Will I need to report the cost of lodging as a form of compensation, is it considered a benefit, income or something else entirely?
If my name isn't on the lease am I financially responsible for the consequences of the lease (such as damages or broken lease)?
Can I write off purchases I make for the home if they directly impact the business (such as desk, computer, audio equip, etc.) and does my employment status effect write offs?
I've yet to agree to anything, but I'm def. interested in it career wise. But I'm woefully under-prepared for the financially and business side and want some feedback. | Boss wants me to move into a production house. What are the financial impacts of living and working in the same house as part of a larger business? |
t3_2kzvhi | relationships | Me [24 F] how do I initiate a fuck buddy relationship with a guy in another city? | Long story short, I visited a friend who is attending grad school in a nearby town. It's about 1.5 hours away by train. I met a guy at a party and we had sex at his place, I slept over, and we hooked up again in the morning.
I just got out of a serious relationship and don't want to be in a romantic relationship. But this guy and I had fantastic sex. He was also incredibly polite. Best of all, he was an "equal opportunity" sexual partner, making sure I was enjoying everything just as much as he was. It doesn't hurt that I find him incredibly attractive. I'm experienced enough to realize that this kind of sexual chemistry is rare. I also have no doubts about the fact that I only want to have sex, cuddle, and light conversation with him.
So I want to ask him to be my fuck buddy, but I'm unsure how. We did not exchange phone numbers, but we have a mutual friend, so I can talk to him on Facebook.
The other issue is that we don't live in the same city.
I thought about adding him on Facebook, but I don't want him to get the wrong idea -- that I want to date him. I'm also unsure if this is even worth it since he lives in another town. But I live in a major city so I imagine he'll make it here at some point.
We also have a mutual friend, but she has made it very clear that she's not interested in him for several reasons.
Any advice on how to proceed? | Met a guy who lives 1.5 hours away by train. We have a mutual friend. I want to ask him to be my fuck buddy, but I'm not sure how to go about it. |
t3_2ztkhb | dating_advice | Online Dating: How to get women talking? | So myself and my friend (25M, 26M) have used a variety of online dating sites (OkCupid, POF, eHarmony), and while not completely failing, we have both done pretty badly. We are both reasonably attractive, fit, intelligent guys.
While we have various complaints about the online dating experience, the #1 constant problem regardless of site is that we constantly find ourselves in one way conversations with women. We try to ask open ended questions, use humour, and take an interest in things that apply to them personally based on their profile, yet constantly we find that in their responses, they answer our question, or laugh at a joke we made, but rarely ask any questions of their own or make any effort to continue the conversation. We usually try to continue the conversation but it feels very forced, and usually it dies off, although on rare occasion I have met up with someone IRL who made no effort online.
It's easy to write this off as a lack of interest and that we should just move on to the next person, but this situation is constant, and making the use of these sites rather pointless. Maybe we are doing something wrong. We just feel really baffled as to how to deal with this problem. We aren't the best at talking to women, but it shouldn't be this hard. Would like to hear any thoughts :) | Constant one-way conversations with women in online dating, ask decent questions and they respond, but no effort to continue the conversation on their part. How to deal with this? |
t3_tr3rs | dating_advice | 23M looking to start "dating" for the first time, need some advice. | Now, hopefully the title isn't too misleading, as I've been in a serious long-term relationship. Right out of high school, I started dating one of my best friends. We hung out all the time and were both attracted to each other, so why not?
Long story short, we dated three-and-a-half years and lived together two of those. We eventually broke up because we weren't really "in love," if that makes sense. She and I are still good friends and although we no longer live in the same state, we still talk every week.
When we broke up, I had just turned 22. It's been a little over a year now, and due to various responsibilities like work and school and whatnot, I haven't really thought about dating until recently. Now that I thought about it, though, I've realized something: I never learned to date.
Sure, I have the relationship stuff down. Being in a stable relationship for three years does that. But because I dated someone I already knew from high school for so long, I have no experience with meeting people. Online dating is too expensive (at least for something that I'm not positive will work), and OkCupid seems... less than reliable. | Redditors of r/dating_advice, I ask you this: How does a 23M start spontaneously dating with no experience in meeting people? |
t3_2s520c | loseit | Has anyone else here tried fasting? | I have been struggling with depression for a while now, just trying to figure out a lot. Had a decent amount of success getting fit and losing weight in the past but I still could kick a plateau I was on forever.
I had a bad routine of eating sugary things and just bad eating habits in general. but overall I was just down on myself.
I decided the next day I wouldn't eat and see how it affected me, I felt great, I just drank black tea and coffee to curb my appetite and lots of water too.
Instantly I felt so much better! I actually went two days and felt fine. I then stumbled upon /r/fasting and realized its a lot more safe than I thought and people go a lot time not eating.
I found this article too.
Just curious if anyone else here has had similar success. | Fasted for two days, it kickstarted and reset my body and I feel 1000X better. And it got me over my plateau. |
t3_3a2fnd | relationships | My [16 M] girlfriend [17 F] has been invited to stay at another guys' [16/17 M] house alone for a week, and she wants to go. | So me and my GF haven't been in a relationship for very long, however we've both been saying that it feels like we've been together for a while, to due the fact we've both liked and flirted with each-other for the past year-or-so.
She has this friend, we'll call him Dave, whom she sees every year-or-so (he lives fairly far away) - however, this time it's a little different. Last year when she went over (we were not dating at this point), this guy hit on her and asked her out. She politely declined and he accepted that.
It's the time of year again whereby she usually visits Dave, however this time he's invited her to stay with him for a *week*. **Alone**.
I've talked to her about this, and why I feel uncomfortable about it (the history they've had, how it's for a week and they'll be alone together) - however she maintains that it's all fine and that he's a respectable and trustworthy person. I've even mentioned that my parents split up because my mother cheated on my father, and because of that I have a massive fear of this sort of stuff, but she seems adamant that he will respect the fact that she's with me.
Apparently a week ago she told him about me and he invited me too - however I've only just found out about this today after a long conversation with her, and she seemed very hesitant to tell me that he had done so.
Side-note: She asked me if I feel uncomfortable that she talks to him. I said no (because I don't) - and that it was simply the fact that she's accepted to go round to his house alone for a week. She also asked me "How can I make you feel okay about this that doesn't involve me not going?" - I told her that *was* the issue, but she didn't like that.
Am I simply over-reacting? I fear this may be the case but I can't get this off my mind - please help! | Girlfriend is staying over at a guy's house alone for a week. This guy hit on her last time she went round and I'm very uncomfortable with the situation. |
t3_2dqsqq | relationships | Me [23F] with my boyfriend [24M] of two years, unsure if he is "The One." I guess I could marry him? | Hey Reddit. I guess I don't have a huge relationship problem, just more of a question. Is it that important to know when someone is "The One" for you? I've been with BF for 2 years, and I've never felt that immediate "spark" or whatever everyone else feels when they just know they want to marry that person.
He's a great guy, and I love him, and we work well together, we're happy, but all in all I've never had that feeling that he was the absolute one for me. I'm unsure why, but I have my theories.
When I was 19, I was engaged to someone else and was in a relationship with him for 3 years. I was 100% absolutely convinced he was my soul mate, he was "The One," all that other fun bs. And then he changed and became verbally/emotionally abusive, manipulative, and controlling. I left after months of mistreatment. A few months after the end of that relationship, I started the on I'm in now. But I'm left wondering. I was **SO** convinced he was it, and I was wrong. Now I'm with a great guy, and I don't feel a damn thing like that.
Is that part of maturing? Not believing in fairy tales and "soul mates?" Am I becoming jaded? Or are most people full of shit when they say "I knew the moment I met him that I'd marry him!" (I find that ridiculously hard to believe.) I guess I just don't know what to think anymore.
So Reddit, does it matter if you feel like your potential future spouse is your "soul mate?" | Confused about current relationship and if I need to be feeling like he is "The One" before I marry him. |
t3_12bvaz | AskReddit | Reddit, what are some deep dark secrets your family members tried to hide from you, but you found out anyway. | This is my story,
My uncle asked my family to help him move to another house. We figured he bought a new house and needed help moving, so we came over and started moving.
We met him at the new house and unpacked some of his stuff that he had in his truck like bed frames and such. This whole time I see the whole family except my aunt. We go back to the old house to grab the refrigerator and the rest of his things, when I find something odd about the whole moving experience.
None of his belongings were packed, his fridge was full of food, none of the clothes were boxed up, and his house looked like a tornado passed through.
Thinking it was just a foreclosure, I kept it to myself until I rode home with my parents. I tell my father what I suspect and he finds it odd as well that my aunt was missing.
Previously my aunt has been convicted of a travel scam a few years back. I just recently google searched her name to find that she's back at it and got caught about two weeks ago. Not to mention that my uncles house has also been foreclosed. | Helped uncle move, didn't see aunt. Googled her name to find that she got caught scamming people |
t3_1bi3mt | AskReddit | Emergency! Need laptop help, please! | Hey guys i'm usually the tech savvy one but i've never had this problem before so I need some help, my only resource for help (engineer friend) is out of town and won't be back for a while.
My laptop hard disk has died. It's damaged i believe, it just won't read. I already bought a new hard disk and i'm going to install win7 on there. I don't have a problem with the fresh install and getting the hard drive BUT I NEED TO RETRIEVE MY OLD FILES. I'm a graphic designer and it crashed before i got to back everything up onto my external hard drive i use just to be safe. I lost all my important data and files that have to do with the jobs i was working on for my graphics, all my songs, pictures etc. The problem is that I HAD a desktop PC that i used but it fried a long time ago so all I have (had) was this laptop now! PLEASE I NEED THESE FILES. | Hard disk died and its URGENT AND VERY IMPORTANT that i retrieve my files. I would resort to paying but i got a 800$ quote and i'm a college student and i can't afford it. Please! |
t3_mm9uz | offmychest | I am pissed off at my best friend/roommate for.... well, for having a boyfriend. | I have been looking for a boyfriend on an off since a month after my last one broke up with me in April of 2005. (For those who don't want to do the math, it's 6 and a half years.) I can't find anyone.
All I want to do is settle down and get married, and I can't even get a boyfriend in six and a half years.
My best friend and I have lived together since March 2009 (about 2.5 years). For that entire time up until about 6 weeks ago, his boyfriend lived with us, too, but they broke up at the end of September (after 4 years together).
My best friend decided he didn't want a new boyfriend for a while and wasn't even going to date anyone until AT LEAST January. However, literally dozens of men asked him out, and he started spending time with some of them with the caveat that he was NOT INTERESTED in dating.
Well, now here it is not even six weeks later, and I am home alone almost every night because he is always staying over at his new boyfriend's place.
It just kills me that the only thing I've wanted in life is to have someone I want to be with who wants to be with me and in six and a half fucking years I can't even get anyone willing to TRY THAT OUT with me, while my best friend who decidedly did not want anyone has people throwing themselves at him to the point that staying single for two months has proven impossible.
The reason I do not live alone is because I hate being alone and get too depressed. But now with him gone almost every night out doing what I can only dream of, I am sitting home alone ANYWAY crying my eyes out every night.
It's unacceptable. And I can't tell him that because he shouldn't have to stay single to keep me happy or because I'm incapable of getting any man who isn't a total shit. | My best friend found love in a month when he was trying NOT to get involved with it while I've been unable to get a man for almost seven years. |
t3_3gebh9 | relationships | Me [31/M] with my (now)ex-gf [28/F] of 2 years, separated because of different views on having children, now im in huge pain and im reconsidering my decision. | My ex-gf and i had a great relationship that lasted for 2 years.
A month ago, we had a conversation about having children, she definitely wants to be a mother, seems really vital to her, but for me is not that way.
Both of us dont have financial stability to have children now, we both still live with our parents due to economical/job struggle.
She said that she has to do many things before having them, but that she definitely wants to have in the future, so to avoid the pain of developing the relationship more and then having to break up in the future would be worst than just breaking up right now.
I have never been really attracted to the "parent" life, i dont dislike kids, but i just feel that having one of my own is a huge responsibility and a very serious matter, and having no financial stability and looking at how the things are going im afraid of not having it at all in the future.
We broke up, but now i feel completely destroyed and miss her so much.
I dont want to lose her but im really afraid of having a child, and it doesnt really attract me, it never has.
So now im considering if it would be a good idea to get back with her and accept her ambition of creating a family, but i dont know if it would turn me into a wreck and i would be unhappy in the long run.
Im really really confused and desperate right now, any kind of advice will be greatly appreciated.
Thank you very much. | Broke up with ex-gf because she wanted children and i didnt. Now im in huge pain and im thinking about reconsidering my stance. |
t3_27rtqd | relationships | [F/21] Is writing my boyfriend [M/26] a letter a good idea? | I have an issue with our relationship right now. But every time I try to bring it up I feel like he never takes it seriously and just makes jokes about it and he's usually such a nice guy but I feel like he doesn't see it as an issue and doesn't know how much it truly bothers me.
I've tried to bring up this particular issue up a few times now and he's brushed it aside so I think I want to write him a letter so I can finally say everything I want to say and I would ask him to read the whole letter before he said anything about it.
Is this a stupid idea?
Guys what would you think if your girlfriend gave you a letter in person?
I just think we really need to talk about it but my boyfriend is very non-confrontational so whenever I bring it up he makes it out to not be a very big deal and then that's that. End of discussion. | Is writing my boyfriend a letter to give to him in person about something that's been bugging me a few months a bad idea? |
t3_vg5i0 | AskReddit | Where Can I Post My Podcast On Reddit? | I am already a member of /r/podcasts but that audience is extremely limited (mostly consisting of other podcasters) and I want to spread the word for two reasons. One, shameless self-promotion of course. But secondly my podcast has pulled a couple of guests in through asking them to appear through AMA's. I wanted to know if, with these guests, I could get some sort of pass or "hey Reddit, I just uploaded this episode with an interview with (insert names). Couldn't have done it without you."
I am sure this post will be targeted as subversive advertising, but it isn't, it's an attempt to avoid that. So...where can I post when I get these interviews? | Got interviews with celebs through Reddit, want to share but /r/podcasts is a tiny sub-reddit. Where else can I post? |
t3_3ovjdm | tifu | TIFU - Not realizing I bought the Wrong League Of Legends Worlds quarterfinal tickets. | So this happened over the period of a month and was only pointed out today.
A month ago today I ordered 6 tickets, for myself and some friends , to the League of Legends Worlds tickets thinking they were for the Saturday the 17th. So, screaming around like the children we are, we thought we got the tickets of our dreams.
Anyway, weeks go by and some of the friends have booked nation train tickets, hotels etc. Our group chat was HYPED! We were HYPED! So, world Quarterfinal matches are drawn, after a slug fest through groups Fnatic get drawn into EDG the Chinese gods on the day that we THOUGHT we booked. I'm a Fnatic fan so I basically came in my pants and got even more HYPED...
But then...Today 15th of October, we realized, that I had ordered the wrong tickets and we were HYPING for the event that we didn't have tickets for.
I GOT FUCKED FOR IT.
The chat went from HYPED to man slaughter within seconds.
So here we are watching the stream, looking for our 6 empty seats that we wasted over £150 + travel etc for.
R.I.P Worlds hype. | Ordered worlds tickets, thought they were the correct date, didn't read the tickets or receipt, R.I.P the worlds dream, wasted money and angry friends. |
t3_xisqc | relationship_advice | How do you deal with emotional manipulation? | Me and my friends, bot guys, both 19,been friends for 10yrs, got into a little tiff the other night. I'm home for the summer back to me my first year of college, and he just graduated high school.
Earlier in the day, we had talked and I had asked him what his plans were for the night, and he said he had a softball game but suggested we hang out after dinner, I agreed.
Later that night, around 5ish, he invites me over for dinner, and I decline, saying that I had asked my parents to make a certain dish that night, but still offered to come over after. He said don't bother, then tested me later saying that was an asshole move. I said it wasn't, I was going to be home when my parent made a dish I requested, and the argument devolved from there.
He cited that he just wanted to give his mom come company tonight, and that he's been over at my house a lot this summer (his gym is 2min away, so he swings by afterwards often.) he then said I wasn't putting any effort into the friendship (I took him camping with my family that weekend,) and that I never try to make plans with him, only the other way around. Then said count me out.
I told him that I hardly have plans and he knows it (my friends are all over the country for the summer) and that he often does, but I still ask him what he's up to. I then agreed to come to dinner (poor move) and he said no don't, I need to cool off.
Before when I've declined similar invitations for similar reasons, he's gotten mad as well, even though he does the same thing all the time. He is leaving for 2 years (jesuits) in a week and a half, so he might be anxious, but I don't think that excuses this.
He's always been a manipulator and I haven't realized he does it to me till just now. How do you deal with emotional manipulation like this? Using his mother and citing poor effort on my part, when that's arguably untrue? I can provide any other details as well as text transcripts if needed. | declined friends invitation to dinner for legitimate reasons, starts using emotional manipulation on me, citing me as poor friend and I caved. |
t3_22n77e | weddingplanning | Plus One Dilemma. How can I remedy this situation now? | We worked on our guest list for months, we got it down to the maximum amount of people allowed at our venue (150 guests). I have some serious invite-regret, in that I think we invited too many people who are from our past but aren't really involved in our present lives anymore.
We're in our early 20's (FH is 24, I'm 23). We have a lot of high school and college friends which we wanted to invite to the wedding, as they were a large part of our lives. We've all moved across the state and scattered, but having them at my wedding (especially the reception) is something we both wanted.
Now......we're getting tons of questions from these 20 somethings about bringing a date. We invited +1s for our friends in seriously committed relationships (read: dating for at least 6 months when the STDs went out a few months ago). The last person who asked is not dating anyone, and is not even close with me, he's only FH's friend. I'm so nervous that the rest of our 20 something guests are going to feel the same way and try to bring +1s. Our ceremony venue can't handle that. That's like, potentially 50 more people... also read: 50 more strangers!!! at my wedding. That seems absolutely crazy to me.
We already sent out STDs, so now I feel like we screwed up. Can we simply write in the person's name on the RSVP response card so they get that there are no +1s for them? I specifically invited groups of friends so that nobody would feel out of place, but unless we have a serious amount of people decline to attend the wedding, the ceremony venue cannot handle +1s. And frankly, I don't think I would have invited that many people from our past had I known they wanted to bring a random date, it's just not something I envisioned or want.
What to do? | Sent out Save the Dates to individual people, they want to bring plus ones, ceremony venue can't fit them. Screwed up, help! |
t3_3peszi | relationships | Me [20 F] with my ex-FWB/best friend [20 M] we fell out about this time last year and I can't get over him | Last year, I moved away from my home to move in with family 3000 miles away. My best friend at the time and I were just beginning to get kinda close, and ended up having sex when he helped me move. It was both of our first times.
We fell out while I was away, as we had both agreed to remain separate but I was still relying on him as my support. He lost interest, and I was very offended that he pushed me away because of distance.
I ended up moving back, for many reasons, but I fear that was one of them. I had a secret hope that we might reconnect. I wanted my best friend back, not even a romantic relationship necessarily.
We spoke occasionally when I returned, a lot of it me being a sassy mean bitch. We hung out a few times, tried to talk about what happened, but then we would go back to chilling and I just think it's fun to make out with him. He reciprocated.
I am very moody, so when he bailed on me a few times, I decided to cut most ties with him. Recently my mind has been wandering has led me to hang out with him. We talked, he attempted to say "Should we talk about our relationship" and I said "I don't think we need to right now. Perhaps another time." And we just hung out and chatted for an hour. It was nice.
But I can't make him routine. I fall too easily into that. I'm not looking for a relationship, I just can't get him off of my mind. | Can't get ex best friend out of head, slept with him and things are weird, I fall too easily into wanting things how they were. How do I get my mind off of him? |
t3_1wu211 | personalfinance | Need advice on taking out a loan | Not sure if this is the right place for my question. If you know of a better place, please let me know.
Here's my situation. My husband and I are thinking of starting a business, a martial arts gym. We have experience helping someone else start there's and are confident we could run our own. Working for someone else is simply no longer profitable for us. So we'd like to run our own.
Problem is, we don't have a lot of savings. We have just over a month of expenses saved. So if we want to start our gym, we need a loan of about $30,000. Our credit is good, but neither of us have lengthy credit histories. (He is an immigrant and I am about 2 years out of college.)
The question is, what could we put together to show a loan officer that we will be able to pay the bank back? I have a business degree and my husband has years of experience teaching and managing a gym. My father is in business and is willing to advise us. | want to take out a loan to start a business, what should I show the bank to convince them I will pay them back. |
t3_2cjqyu | relationships | I [26F] don't know how to break up with my boyfriend [24M]. | So some quick background:
My boyfriend and I have been going out for about a year and from the beginning it was clear he was more into me than I was into him, but it's gotten to the point that when he is over my house I wish he would go.
He's a really sweet guy but, to put it indelicately, is kind of a loser. He still lives at home with his parents and is trying to be a photographer. It would be one thing if he was trying to move out of his parents but he just doesn't seem to be. He blows all the money he does make on equipment and won't get another job (he definitely has the time to), instead he just spends his abundant free time just hanging out.
I am not asking for him to be rich or really make that much money, but I would like him to be able to support himself and contribute to our life together, so you know I'd have an actual partner.
I don't really feel like this is going anywhere and I think it's time to break up. I am 26 and I'd like to start a family in a few years and I just don't think he will ever be able to do that. I know money shouldn't matter that much, but I don't make enough to support a family on my own and I need someone who at least tries to help. I'd be happy if he was making minimum wage, just you know, something.
I have tried talking to him about getting a job and he says he will it he never does. I have found him interviews and he just doesn't go. I am also uncomfortable telling him to give up on his artistic dreams for a number of reasons not the least of which is that I work in the arts myself, although I modified my dream if being a painter and became a graphic and packaging designer instead.
So guys, how do I break up with someone over this with out seeming like an asshole? He's really sweet and I don't want to hurt him.
It's gotten to the point where I am looking for jobs in other states just to make the break up easier, because I'm that much of a coward. | how do I break up with my sweet, but financially detrimental boyfriend with out hurting him or having to move to another state? |
t3_1jwdck | relationships | I [24M] don't know if I should end this with [35F] - she lives with me and is from another country | The points:
* I work in IT and am a pretty solitary guy, having her in my life makes me so much more at ease. I have general anxiety so this is important.
* I've never really felt "love" from anyone but her, I had a messed up childhood so having someone this close to me is new and exciting
* My college days were really intense, I'm yearning for the excitement of being single again but don't want to hurt SO, constantly thinking about peers my age, not sexually attracted to SO anymore
* She's from another country on a student visa, been living with me for 8 months. she moved in because she was living with 6 other girls in a 2br place, all worked at the same whip-wielding restaurant to pay for school
* Obviously hurting someone sucks and the feeling of being alone is terrifying (new city, no close friends)... but I do feel trapped, like I could be growing a lot more. Was formerly polyamorous, jumped into this on impulse.
* I told her I never intend on getting married or having kids. She accepted that, we've been monogamous for 18 months
* she doesn't know many other people so I offer some level of security, but taking that away by breaking up would ruin a big part of her life, she might go back home | feeling trapped/antsy with live-in SO, I want to go out and mingle and make mistakes and experiment, but I don't want to ruin this girl's life |
t3_2388hm | relationships | I [21 M] am in love with this girl [18 F], but I don't want to be in a relationship. | Hello, everyone. I have been adamant for the past year about not being in a relationship, due to several bad relationships in the past. I just wanted to be single and have fun. However, I met this girl last summer and we've been talking everyday since. She currently lives 2 hours away from me, and while that isn't too far, I've done distance relationships twice (both a long and short distance), and they put a bad taste in my mouth.
I've refused to be in a relationship, especially one with any sort of distance. However, I've fallen in love with this girl. She loves me too, and she has wanted to be in a committed relationship for months. I for one, don't. We've essentially been in a relationship, though, just without the title of boyfriend/girlfriend.
Just recently she told me she was with someone. She didn't want to wait around for me any longer to be in a relationship. And I think she has every right to do that because it is my fault we weren't dating. However, I'm hurting really bad. And it is all my fault, and I deserve to be hurt, considering all the struggle I've given her for not wanting to be in a relationship.
She would gladly date me if I said the word. But my feelings are conflicted and I'm left with this knot in my stomach. On one hand I love her and it would be a mistake to not be with her. But I still don't want to be committed and in a relationship. She won't go back to the way it was, and she shouldn't, because it was just selfish of me. But I can't figure out what is going on in me head. What is wrong with me? Why am I thinking about not dating her if I care about her so much? Help... | Fell in love with a girl, adamant on not being in a relationship, she started seeing someone else, I'm hurt and confused |
t3_s0lsv | AskReddit | Which is better to be: Renaissance Man (Many Skills, No Mastery) or Artisan (One Mastery, Few Skills) | It's a question I've asked myself a lot, as I think about it whenever I see someone do something spectacular with their specialization.
I consider myself a Renaissance Man. I can substitute for missing expertise in many tasks, but I wouldn't consider myself particularly outstanding in any one of them. Maybe a little bit better than average, but not even close to approaching spectacular. But, my skills certainly comes in handy when a job needs to be done.
I'm always so impressed when someone with an actual specialization goes out and does something amazing, like [Remi Gaillard's soccer abilities] or [Jake Shimabukuro's ukulele playing]
On top of that, it seems like popular media likes to present the artisans much more than those who renaissance.
I dunno, what does reddit think about it?
Also, what are some cool skills that ya'll can do? I'd love to hear about your Artisan abilities or your many Renaissance talents.
And yes, of course, the optimus solution would be to be a Renaissance Artisan Man, but you can only get that when you reach level 80 or something. | I think Renaissance is useful, but Artisans are impressive. What does Reddit think, and what skills can Redditors do? |
t3_446d4a | tifu | TIFU by texting my crush after getting really high | So this happened a few years ago back when I was in high school, but seeing another post on here reminded me of this fuck up.
So I was hanging out with my best friend and his gf at his house, and had been texting my crush, lets call her larissa, that day. I made plans with her to hang out later so i was pretty happy. Day goes on and its getting close to when I'm supposed to chill with her. Around this time the 3 of us also pick up some bud and start blazing. While we're smoking Larissa calls me and cancels on me which I had a feeling she might do, but me anticipating this I play it off like its no big deal. I'm trying to come across too cool to care, like we're having a bunch of fun, laughing and only half paying attention to the conversation. Hang up and proceed to smoke more and watch TV. I guess whatever I was doing worked cause a couple hours later Larissa texts me saying she wish she had met up with us and that she was bored. It's too late now to meet up but I keep texting her, flirting and teasing her a bit. Now I'm high as fuck right now and things seem to be going well and I'm feeling confident, so I decide to text my friend even though he's right next to me. Why did I do this? Idk, I guess high af me thought his gf would be offended or some shit, idk. Anyways I do this and wait for response. A couple minutes later, I get a text from Larissa asking me what I meant. Confused, I check the last message I sent and turns out I mistakenly sent Larissa the text meant for my friend, and it literally read "haha dude I have Larissa eating out of the palm of my hand right now." I panic a bit and tell my friend (should've done that in the first place) what happens and they just start laughing. I try and play it off with Larissa basically saying "idk I'm rly high and don't know what I'm saying lol" but I 99% sure she didnt buy it. Sucks too cause I think before this she liked me, but after that she didn't seem as friendly. | got high af and texted my crush some dumb shit, and in the process probably extended the length of my vcard membership. |
t3_3135le | travel | What should I do if the embassy is unhelpful? | Hello,
Sorry if I'm posting this to the wrong subreddit, if so, please redirect me to the correct one.
I'm a 19 year old Egyptian student living in Qatar and I was recently offered an amazing research opportunity in Greece for 2 months. The research institute is supervised by the Greek government, and the position is, of course, unpaid; they're only paying for my accommodation and I'm paying for my travel, living expenses, etc.
I have an official letter from my professor, who works there, and I started calling the embassy so I can know what type of visa I need. After four days of calling daily, I gave up and decided to go there myself (it's somewhat far away and I'm too busy with exams). I went and explained the situation and asked them which type of visa I should apply for, and they took a scan of my passport and the (original) letter and said I'll hear back from them in three days. When they never called, I went again a week later, and they said they still don't know and will call me. It's now been two weeks since the first time I went and I still haven't heard back.
The problem I'm having right now is that I will be leaving the country early-mid May, so I wanted to get this visa over with, as well as a US visa to visit my girlfriend, before then. However, I'm now stuck because of this problem and I'm worried I won't be able to get one or both of them.
A lot of people are telling me to go tell them that I will apply for a tourist visa and provide all the documents, and explain that I have a substantial amount of money in my bank account (from my parents). This chance is too good to miss out on just because of their slacking, and I would also like to get the US visa over with ASAP as it's really important for me to visit my girlfriend this summer. Any idea what I should do? | going to Greece for unpaid research, embassy ignoring me and aren't telling me what type of visa to apply for, need to get it ASAP. |
t3_47lmjx | dating_advice | THIRD DATE | , I'll reference my last post for backstory.
Anywho...
Went on that 3rd date last night and it was REALLY good. We saw a movie and laughed and talked throughout the whole thing. He was sweet and smart and attentive and I just like him so much. He walked me to my car. I gave him some cookies that I'd baked for him and some anti-stress tea because he's been under a lot of stress at work lately. Then he kissed me!! It was kind of a sneak attack, but it was nice...very brief, but I got the idea. I was so taken aback that I didn't even know how to respond. I just hugged him really quickly afterwards and got in my car and left. I hope I didn't blow it.
I'm over the height disparity (I'm an inch taller than him). His height doesn't take away from how awesome I think he is. Next time we meet up, though I want to bring up my conerns about his vaping. If we do this, I want the whole relationship to be based on honesty and I think getting my honest feelings about vaping out there is essential to that.
Any suggestions/advice would be appreciated. | 3rd date with shorter than me guy who vapes went great...Over the short issue...still on the fence about vaping |
t3_3flcq3 | relationships | My (32m) mother (60ishF) doesn't leave anyone in my family alone. She's always commanding us to do something | I have no idea how to handle this. It started when I moved back home in Feb. i wasn't allowed to vape inside because she found it "irritating" to her throat. If she even comes in contact with one of my closed/sealed bottles, she has a coughing fit and says it's making her choke to death. So I obliged, and took my stuff outside.
Then it started with her bugging me about my snake. Even though I feed him, she thinks i need to feed him every day. Doesn't understand that it's NOT a cat or a dog. Always thinks i need to change its bedding after it voids its bowls, which isn't the case. I Can't make her see this. she's always Yelling at me to feed him and threatning me with animal services. I Got her to read information on snakes ONCE, but she's suffering from some sort of problem that's making her forget stuff. so i always have to remind her of that. eventually it just turned into, I'm being abusive.
She yells at me when I bring soda or anything into the house. she and my father think that everyone in this world needs to Breathe air, and drink water, and eat vegetables for the rest of their lives and not inbibe in anything else. but on the rare occasion that they do, it's ok because they know better...
Most of you are gonna say that I need to move out. I Did. for three years. and it never stopped. she thought she was in control of the house i was living at with my ex, and it came between my ex and I a lot. House wasn't clean enough, dogs were too dirty looking, something is ALWAYS not up to her speed. and when it is, it's something ELSE. always something else.
I Don't know what to do. I'm disabled, and don't have much money or credit, to live on my own. All my friends are married with kids, so i can't live with any of them. but I'm sick and tired of being told what i can or cannot do. it never stops, and it's killing me mentally. | Controlling mother won't leave me or my family alone. always commanding us to do something like a drill sergeant. it never ends. even if we move away from her. |
t3_3cellj | relationships | Me [22 F] with my boyfriend [22 M] of one year. Is he being controlling? | Like the title says, I've been in a relationship with this guy for a year. We love each other and hope (a couple years down the line) to get married. We have pictured a life together for some time now, and our relationship is wonderful.
However, recently there has been a bump in the road.
I am coming into a substantial amount of money as a gift from a close friend [28 M]. Part of the money, he said, is to buy a new car (I own an '87 Honda. Runs fine but....it's an '87 Honda, you know?). My friend has made it very clear that a large chunk of the money WILL go towards the new car....he is sending extra specifically for that reason.
I told my boyfriend this, and he was immediately against the idea. He believes, since I have a car that runs, that it would be irresponsible to buy a new car with the money (he is super frugal and big on investments). He said that if I was to blow money on a car, especially in an "irresponsible way", that it would cause issues down the road. He thinks that if I were to go through with it that it would be showing my lack of responsibility in regards to money, and that that would be cause to possibly break up. He believes that spending money too quickly becomes a habit, and he CANNOT be with someone who does that.
I don't know what to do. On one hand, I have my friend and several other people saying that it is MY choice what to do with the money, and he is being overly controlling and slightly rude by hinging a relationship on what I do with it, ESPECIALLY since my friend specifically designated some for a car. How do I go about this? What do I say to my boyfriend? Is he right, will I just be an irresponsible childish girl if I spring for the car? Or do I respect my friend's wishes?
I really don't want to lose my boyfriend, I love him very much, but if this is a deal breaker then I'm completely lost. | Coming into money, part of which is designated towards a car. Boyfriend is super against the idea of said car. What do I do? |
t3_4x00gc | relationships | Help! Need advice about overweight girlfriend! | Hi Reddit!
I [26m] have been together with my girlfriend [27f] for 3.5 years and we have been going ring shopping the last couple months.
I really like this girl, but she is quite overweight.
I told her my feelings about this 1.5 years ago and she went from 275 lbs to 245 lbs using weight watchers.
She is about 5 foot 8 inches.
30 pounds lost is nothing to sneeze at, I agree.
But most of that progress was in the first 10 months or so, she has been stuck between 247 to 243 pounds for the last 8 months.
I have always had an issue with her weight, but honestly her personality has kept me in the relationship and the 25% percent of the time where she wears make up and dresses well, she looks attractive to me. But seeing her not on a special occasion, where she is just lounging around at her parent's home, I am really not physically attracted to her.
There has not been any progress in the last 8 months, even though she continues to go to the weight watcher meetings and still talks about wanting to get healthy, and goes to the gym on a somewhat regular basis, she just isn't losing weight and i know its because she doesnt go to the gym often enough and she falls back to her bad habits for 1 day or 2 in the week, which kills her progress for the week.
Everyday I feel anxiety because i am unsure if I should break up with her or stay with her in the long haul. Whenever i see a beautiful or even cute looking or fit-ish looking girl on the street, I feel really sad that I can't get that from my girlfriend.
I fear that if i stay in this relationship any further, it will be just wasted time because she may continue to stay at her current weight and not continue losing.
Reddit, I would really appreciate your two cents here. | girlfriend has plateaued in weight loss and unsure whether to break up or stay in the long haul hoping she loses weight to get to a healthy attractive weight |
t3_32dfcn | relationships | I [22m] not sure if I should end with with girlfriend[23f] of 4 years | So I am looking for advice on what to do since I haven't been in a situation like this before.
I have been dating my girlfriend for 4 years. The last 2 being a LDR. When we are apart we talk and Skype and things are great but when we're together we fight and I feel a little trapped. Not always but often enough. And my friends have mentioned that she seems controlling and my family doesn't like how she treats me but this only happens when we are visiting and I get the stress of having a perfect trip can get to her.
We both have issues with stress and anxiety that make things hard when we are together. When we are apart though it is great to have someone to talk to. When we fight she can be demeaning and put me down and everything is my fault but I tend to shut off which doesn't help at all.
While I have voiced my issues I feel like if I were to end it then it would blindside her and the idea of hurting her just kills me but I can't really see us together in the future. It's probably selfish since I'm about to graduate and want to focus on me. At the same time I'm not sure if it's just stress getting to me and I want to opt out and should stick it through till things improve.
Has anyone been is a similar situation before? | LDR with girlfriend of 4 years, not sure if I should end it since things are great when we talk and Skype but when we're together we fight and I feel walked on |
t3_2s6f3b | Advice | My [23/M] gf [22/F] of 5 years wants to move out and live with friends again, not sure how I feel about this. | Hi, so my gf of 5 years is about to finish college. Things have been great up until a few months ago (read other post) and now she has told me she may want to move out and live with some friends, basically live how we were before moving in together (lived together since August).
She really likes her own space/room and misses the "something always going on" life of college. She says she has no interest in splitting up and wants to just be seperate like before. She says she doesn't think this will be forever, she just says that this is the last time she will be able to live like this and will be able to live with me forever.
I am unsure how I feel about this and could use some advice! Thank you! | gf wants to move out and move with friends, still wants to be together.I believe her, I just don't want to have this drive us apart. |
t3_16330a | relationships | I am a 16 year old who needs advice on a relationship. | Hello, I am a 16 year old and I have been dating my girlfriend(16) for almost 7 months now. I need some advice on something I found on her facebook today. Yes, we know each others facebook passwords and we don't really check each others facebook cause we trust each other or so I thought. Today, I got bored and went on her facebook and I didn't read and message until I got to this message that said , " Why can't we be friends?" I started reading them and what I found out really hurt me. This guy told my girlfriend back in october that he wanted to get laid. My girlfriend told him that she would do it and these messages containing things about their fantasies and how he wanted to do this and that to my girlfriend went on for about an hour. At some point my girlfriend told him that she would suck him off but then again she wanted to stay faithful with me. This made me sad and like I don't know. I know I was wrong to go through facebook but like I don't know. I developed so many feelings for her and like I don't know what to do. we promised each other that we would never cheat on each other and all those other promise. Help me please? | I go through my girlfriend's facebook messages, see a message from this guy saying why they couldn't be friends, I read the whole conversation, guy says he wanted to get laid and girlfriend offers to get laid with him. |
t3_4qbp5g | relationships | I [21M] probably had the chance to hookup last night and didn't go for it with a [21F]. Have I missed my shot? | So i've known this person for a while and we ended up matching on a dating app (yeah yeah, I know). Anyways, last night we got a few drinks and everything went well and she came home with me. Being drunk and tired, I didn't try anything. We laid in my bed and ended up cuddling and whatnot and proceeded to sleep together while holding eachother throughout the night and spooning and doing all that. She ended up sticking around for a bit this morning and is still Snapchatting me this afternoon but I'm worried that she might take it as a lack of interest or something of that nature and I'd really like another shot in a better setting. Have I blown it, or should I not be concerned about whether-or-not the scenario will present itself again? | Had a window to hook up and didn't take it but still slept/spooned/cuddled/whatever. Will I get another chance? |
t3_ks37a | AskReddit | My credit is being destroyed by a collections company who takes my payments but reports delinquency. Their phone numbers are all dead. Is there anything I can do? | I made a payment arrangement with [Alliance One] a popular collections agency for people who have debt they owed to the state of Oregon. I had some unpaid traffic tickets. When I found out I setup a payment arrangement with them and made those payments on their website assuming everything was fine. Obviously it would have been better to not neglect those payments but lesson learned I suppose.
I pulled a copy of my credit report sometime later and found out they have been reporting me as never paying them anything and skipping out on the arrangement. When I call them their system does not recognize my customer number. It says its transferring me to a customer service agent, but then directs me to a voice mail. Nobody ever calls back. Worse, the website I use to make my payments shows I haven't made any payments either, even though my bank statements clearly show them taking the money.
Is there anything I can do here? I feel like letters will probably be ignored and I don't have money for an attorney. What are my options? | Paying a collections company through their website but they never credit me for the payment, and there's no way to reach them. |
t3_r8n8m | GetMotivated | Looks like the magic happened to me, wolves. | Hi, my fellow wolves
I have been following this community for some time now, probably three to four month, but somehow I didn't get any motivated. That probably came from my own attitude.
About one and a half weeks ago, I suddenly came to the (not so mind-blowing) realization, that I only have this one, short life. And I want it to be fucking awesome. So I started to work out. I stood up at 4:30 am every day this week, going for a run. After that I prepared myself for work and went there. And after work, I went cycling every day except one, because it rained. I also started studying for school and stopped playing games. I am now focusing on my hobbies, gardening, mixing and drawing.
I feel fucking awesome.
Just so you know, it's not hard to keep doing that stuff, as soon as you started. So get off your lazy ass and do something. Go for a run or go cycling or get some work done in your garden or learn how to draw, how to make music, how to do *anything*. But do something. Now. | Magical unicorn fart hit me in the face, I started pooping muffins and feel awesome ever since. Read for yourself, lazy-ass. |
t3_zhvyl | relationships | Is it fair to ask my boyfriend [20] for gas money? | We've been dating for 5 months, we're in college together, and he doesn't have a car. Since we started dating, I've always given him rides places. I drive him to and from his house (off campus) to mine/campus (I live practically on campus) and it's about a 12 mile drive to his place. Not too far, but making the drive daily kind of adds up, especially since we tend to go back and forth between our abodes a few times per day. 12 miles there, 12 miles back, every time. That's just the routine, if he has to go anywhere, I drive him. He occasionally has to go far distances, and on a few occasions I've driven him 4+ hours. Yes, this takes a lot of time out of my day, but that's a whole different matter entirely. Basically, my gas tank is taking the hit.
I don't want to seem cheap, but my car is used much more for his needs than mine. Probably a 70/30 split between driving him places/driving for myself. I can afford the gas, technically, but I'd really like to be able to save my money instead.
He's really short on funds and usually his paychecks go to me anyway to pay me off for other things (I have always paid if we go out or need to purchase something), so I don't even know where he'd get the money if I asked him for it. I hate asking people for money in any context. I can imagine him responding with something like, "I can't, I don't have any money right now." What then? Manual labor? Selling him to a new girlfriend for profit? The relationship is really more important than the money, which I guess kind of provides an answer to all of this. Poor college students should be able to help each other when needed and pool our resources to get things done, right? So is it apropos to ask a fellow poor student for reimbursement? | boyfriend uses my car a lot, is short on funds. I'm not sure if I should ask him to help pay for my gas or how he would even respond/get the money to do so |
t3_2hnz8m | relationship_advice | I [M/18] tried to break up with my girlfriend[F/18] today... | I've been feeling depressed about my relationship for probably almost a year now. I've grown so sick of it that I decided now was finally the time to tell my girlfriend that we were not meant to be. So today, I sat her down and tried to have a very serious conversation with her. I never said "I'm breaking up with you" but I said that I'm never happy with our relationship anymore. She cried for hours and hours and went on about how much she needs me. I want to still be super close best friends with her but I need a new person in my life. We decided that we would wait a few days and I would make the decision to leave her or not. Everything is telling me to leave her but I literally mean so much to her that she probably wouldn't find anyone new for a LONG time. She lost both her parents a few years ago so she is super dependent on me and can't function with out me. I feel tied down and unable to get out of this relationship. I'm torn. | I want to get out of a toxic relationship but she is too dependent on me and I love her too much to let go. |
t3_2n3kci | relationships | I [19m] invited my long distance "friend" [19f] on a spring break vacation. | The back story between her and I is fairly long but necessary for being able to understand the situation. I will refer to her as A throughout the post. We first met sophomore year in highschool when she approached me and gave me a compliment on my shoes. At the time I was the guy who was head over heels for their best friend so I was oblivious to any other females. A and I would make small talk between classes but we never developed our relationship more. Later that year she moved 3000 miles away. Im not sure exactly when but 6 months to a year later we started to connect via Facebook. We started to get to know each other better and both realized that we had near perfect chemistry. Since then we have continued to keep in touch and have seen eachother once since then. We both are in school working towards bachelor degrees but we both still live 3000 miles apart. We both agree that a long distance relationship has its difficulties and with us being in school still it would be hard if not impossible to maintain a healthy one.
With the back story done now it's time to get to the problem im having. So for spring break a bunch of my friends and family are going to cancun mexico. I invited A to come and told her that I would pay for the trip. How should I go about setting up the rooms? Should I ask her if she's okay with rooming with me? Is she going to assume that we are going share a room? | is she going to expect to be rooming with me? Should I ask her if she wants to room with me or with another female such as my sister? How should I handle room arrangements? |
t3_24s5ny | offmychest | After the death of my grandma, my cousin tries contacting me. I have no idea what to do. | So I have this cousin (we'll call her Katie); When I was little my family would visited her, my aunt and uncle, my other cousin (we'll call her Hannah) on their lake front property. It was a wonderful childhood. Swimming, playing on boats, my cousins got a lot of toys for the lake, etc.
Well Katie married a rich family, and had a stupid realization that she "didn't have enough stuff growing up" and her parents "didn't pay for things she wanted." She even went as far as accusing my family of beating her (which is for sure false, my uncle and aunt would not hurt a human being ever.). Blah blah blah she hasn't talked to my family since.
That was until my grandma past away suddenly last November. She tried contacting my mom but my mom didn't know what to do. So she didn't. She was her grandparent too, so she did have the right to know.
Today, I found a message on facebook (in the other inbox...?) from Katie asking me to let her know what's going on with grandma, wanting to catch up, and gave me her number. This was from 7 months ago. I don't know what to do now. To contact her, let her know what's going on, maybe try to convince her to talk to my aunt/uncle, or to not contact her because she did hurt my family.
I do need advice on this, but I also need to rant. | Cousin extracts her selfish-self out of my family (and hurt her parents and sister), grandma dies, she contacts me, I didn't find the message until 7 months later. |
t3_2e67yl | relationships | My girlfriend's[24/F] parents want her to get an arranged marriage with someone else. | Me: Hindu 24M. Her: Hindu 24F.
We've been together for half a year and things are amazing. We connect on an entirely new level and we love each other very much. We are both westernized because we both grew up in California but her parents however have always had the mindset of their old culture and want her to be married to someone within her specific caste. Unfortunately I am not in her caste but I am hindu, just like her. Her parents are adamant that she gets married to a guy from her caste.
Fortunately she does not want an arranged marriage at all and wants to see things through with me. She dislikes arranged marriage but because of this many fights and arguments occur in her home. She loves her parents to death and want to make them happy but this is something she can't and won't do. I'm afraid that one day she might just give in. She's always stressed out and crying from the arguments and I don't know what to do. Her parents really want her to get an arranged marriage.
Is there anything I can do to help this? Is there anything she can do to help this? She's definitely tried convincing her parents about how she isn't comfortable with doing an arranged marriage but that hasn't worked. I really like her and she really likes me, but her parents could be a giant pain in our ass for our future. | Girlfriend's parents want her to get an arranged marriage with someone else. Could cause many issues for us in the future. Need help. |
t3_1tf5vo | dating_advice | [M16]Should I try to keep on going with my crush? | So last period in school I had a schoolproject about making a small movie with these two girls. We really enjoyed doing it, and had fun doing it. Before the project we knew each other, but didnt really ever talk or anything.
As the end of period drew closer I really started liking their company, espacially the other girl (they are each others best friends). We started saying helloes and talking a bit outside the project, and I started crushing (is that a word?) on her.
I am really bad in reading women (also never been in real relationship before thought I have many girls as friends), but I think she might like me a bit too, or at least not hate me. If we meet somewhere she always smiles and says hello, sometimes wants so talk a bit more as well.
Our school also has this thing that you can buy a small candy and a card to be delivered to someone on last day before break, and I got one signed by both of these girls I was in the project. After I got it my crush came to me and asked if I got it, I answered yes and thanked her (and later on the other girl) alot.
So my question is what should I do now? Is she really into me and should I try to go on, or is this just natural kindness from girls?
Our project is on break until somewhere after March, and I think that is too late to wait for.
The another thing that makes this kind hard is that she might already have a boyfriend of some sort if my another friend is right. I dont feel right to try to "steal" a reserved girl. On the other hand I know that teenager relationships tend to be fragile as is..
I am thinking about asking him how her xmas went after 24th day on Facebook, but I dont want to us to lose our friendship in regards of trying to be even more. I also dont want to harass her with unneeded messeages if she doesn't like them. Do girls generally like if they get sent a msg?
Oh damn, that was a long. | Have crush on girl (who might already have boyfriend) from my schoolproject, am I right thinking she might like me and should I keep on messeaging her or something? |
t3_n1wk3 | AskReddit | How do I get the medication I need when insurance is denying my claim?! | Prior to radiation therapy, remicade infusions, 20+ prescription drugs, I was denied coverage for the only drug, Enbrel, that has effectively treated my disease, Hidradenitis Suppurativa. Hidradenitis is a very rare, incurable skin disorder that causes cysts to form all over the body. After all of the hell of radiation, infusions and heart palpitations from Remicade, I requested Enbrel again and was FINALLY approved for the drug under Principal Insurance, two years and maybe 500 cysts later. I was being SUCCESSFULLY treated using Enbrel injections for six months, until Principal decided to no longer provide health insurance coverage. Now, I'm stuck with United Healthcare for $200+ a week, denied coverage for my medication and my only option is to pay $2200 a MONTH for the ONLY medication that has been effective in treating my disease. The medication is not FDA approved, but it works and a simple Google search can tell you that. At this point, I have 32 cysts on my groin, underarms and underneath my breasts. I am unable to wear bras, underwear or jeans because the pain is so severe. Several of the cysts are the size of baseballs. I have filed appeals and external appeals with absolutely no success. My dermatologist has run out of treatment options. Am I left without any options? | Insurance has denied drug coverage. Would have to pay $2200 a month out of pocket. How can I work around this and get coverage? |
t3_3cvhsr | travel | How do you balance career with travel? | I have a choice to make. I'm 26/f, have a graphic design degree, am currently interning in my field. I have money saved that I can afford to either pay rent in NYC for about 7 months or travel for a while.
I have the choice to either move and job hunt/try to forge path there, or travel through south america with some different friends for 3-6 months. Friend is embarking on this trip in fall whether I join them or not, but that was also my move out of this state date anyway.
I feel like it's too late for me to do this kind of trip at 26, and am worried about coming back and being really behind in my career. The internship is going pretty well and I'm making some good connections... However I also feel like this trip is a once-in-a lifetime opportunity because when I do settle into a day job I may never have 3 months to just take off again.
So I guess my question to you travelers is: How have you figured this out? Have you? Do you feel like you fucked up your career traveling or did you figure out a way to move forward in your career while traveling?
Any suggestions, advice either way etc would be appreciated. Sorry if it got rambly. | 26 with a degree that is relatively portable, should I try to start my career or fuck off and travel for 3-6 months? |
t3_twj1t | dating_advice | How should I establish contact again? | I(M) am 22 and she is soon to be 22 as well. We met at a short-term job a few months ago and really hit it off.
After the job ended we hung out about 3 times and texted every so often. It's been obvious that she likes me in the way she speaks and her body language.
She smokes habitually and drinks rarely, both of which are definite turn-offs for me. | Haven't spoken in about a month. Girl won't respond to my attempts at talking back. How do I proceed from here? |
t3_242h6p | relationships | Me 24M, how do I make women chase *me* | My relationships have been great, the problem is that I haven't had one in a while. I'd like to find someone who wants to be with me just as badly as I want to be with them. But the problem is that I find so frequently that the power dynamic is shifted way towards predatory "guys chase any hot meat they find" attitude, and that when I actually meet a girl I like (which happens quite a bit) I feel like they feel relatively "meh" about me. Occasionally it will go one or two dates until they just make it clear they're not into me like that.
But I know some women are. The last few people I've dated have really convinced me it's possible for someone to really dig you (both personality wise and carnally), and give me this "man, they're crazy about me," feeling. But it seems like when it comes to dating, I just end up waiting until it becomes painfully obvious that there's a girl who feels that way about me, and to be honest, that just doesn't happen very often at all (once every two years, maybe?).
I've been trying to become physically more attractive, I've put on a lot of muscle recently and try to dress better, but deep down I know that people have always been attracted to me in that fall-for-you kind of way because of my personality and cute cheesiness that makes them feel special.
I don't want to manipulate anyone, I'm not trying to put forth a false projection of myself, but obviously a few exes have felt that way about me in the past so it's not impossible for a person to have those kinds of feelings. It's just that whenever I date most people, I get a very "meh, whatever" feeling from them, the ones that I feel are really special and make me feel that way don't seem to feel that way (usually) about me, but when it does happen it seems so natural that I wonder why I ever thought it wouldn't happen. | Lately I've been having trouble finding people that have that "I really want you" attitude, and I need some advice |
t3_4b1wt6 | tifu | TIFU by following my heart based on advise given by cheesy romantic films | Well the fuck up actually is currently in its peak. Let me tell you how this story begins.
One week ago exactly, I met the love of my life. It was an amazing person in every aspect, the type that inspires you to actually want to become a better man. I was hosting her via couchsurfing, she was doing a road trip through the midwest and she stayed a couple of days with me. Everything was perfect as I said we hit it off pretty well, we had a few of those 'moments' but I didn't say or do anything cause it's wrong and awkward.
Anyways, pretty bummed out when she left, she sent me a text message that she missed me and blablabla, back and forth and I thought she was driving back through the place I live again but she went back home. Long story short, I was drinking in Saint Patrick's day and I was encouraged by my stupid attachment to watching cheesy romantic comedies where they tell you to go do awkward stuff because it's romantic and that beats awkwardness.
Long story short, bought a plane ticket and landed there, surprised her, actually surprised her too much she got creeped out, she said that we had hit it off but that this was too bold and she was now uncomfortable and now i'm writing this from a hotel in a town where a fashion week is being held and i have a flight back home booked until monday. | followed romantic advise by cheesy movies, drunk friends and flew across the country to make a fool of myself and apparently i'm a bit creepy. |
t3_3b4xik | relationships | Pet cat is keeping me from moving out of my drug addicted fathers' place? | I [17F] have been living with my dad [45M] for about a year now. We have an apartment that really does not cost much in rent, but my dad is a drug addict and the bills are never paid. He spends all of his money on drugs, which leaves us with only about $100 for food and groceries for a week until his next payday.
I have been trying for a year now to help him end his addiction and keep our apartment, but it is simply not working. I would love to move out and leave the toxic environment, but, our pet cat is keeping me here. I am the only one who feeds him, gives him attention, etc. We got the cat towards the beginning of living together, an impulse move by my dad because he "just wanted a pet". My dad loves him as well, but is not responsible enough to take care of him. He does not have the finances to, and is rarely ever home.
I'm at a loss about what to do. Could I take the cat to the ASPCA and explain the situation? If I were to take him with me to wherever I move out to, would my dad legally be able to demand that I give him back? I know that this poor thing isn't going to make it if I just pack up and leave tonight. Please, any advice on what to do would be greatly appreciated. | Seems silly when I write it out, but I am planning on moving out of my dad's place and want to take the pet cat with me for his own well-being. I am not sure how to go about doing so. |
t3_22rlum | relationships | Me [22 M] with my girlfriend [21 F] 8 months, caught her in lie and not sure if I should end it | Basically my gf and I have been officially dating for about 4 months, and the 4 months before that were sort of an extended hooking up, semi-serious relationship. During that time she went and visited a guy who she told me was a guy she used to hook up with, nothing serious, and she just saw him to officially end things.
I just found out that she was actually in a long distance relationship with that guy, and after that visit they continued to talk daily until our relationship got more serious, at which point she ended things with him (not telling him specifically that it was to date me). She never came clean about the reality of her relationship with this guy, even though we have talked about it since... so even when we have been seriously dating, she has been dishonest about that relationship and stuck with her story from before, until I came across messages between the two that confirmed it was much more serious and that they had continued to talk all the time as a long distance couple as our relationship was developing...
Basically, i don't know what to do. She acknowledges that she was dishonest and says she will change and not do that anymore, but it's hard for me to trust her. I'm honestly not upset that she was with that guy, and I know we werent that serious then, but I am more concerned with her deliberate lies of omission and misrepresentation of the truth.. Also, the fact that she was never going to tell me, and apologizes profusely now only that I found out on my own. I have also caught her in a few smaller lies, nothing that important, just random things that don't matter about how she spent her time etc that I dont know why she would lie about (she did say that 'lying is fun'.. see edit below though, it wasnt that serious)
Should this be a deal breaker? Our relationship is really great otherwise, and I was so happy before I found this out. She says she will do everything she can to earn my trust back and swears she wont be dishonest anymore. | girlfriend lied about having a boyfriend while we were first together and not too serious. i just found out and am nervous about her dishonesty |
t3_3ax2h9 | relationships | Me (22M) My (19F) ex is already seeing someone after a couple weeks of being apart. | My ex and i had dated for 2 years and broke up 2 weeks go.
3 weeks ago she sent me a text saying she wanted to get married, she cant see herself with anyone else, and she doesn't know how shes going to survive a week without me. So about a week later she goes on a business trip for her internship, we get in a fight while shes on her trip and she says we need to be apart. We have our closure and she says that everything is always amazing when we are together but when we are apart i put her through hell and she cant handle it right now. After our closure she thanks me for being so understanding and being there for her and says she will reach out to me when shes ready. A week later I find out she is seeing one of her coworkers at her summer internship. I know she has a lot going on right now because shes not performing on the level she wants to be on at her internship and her home life is pretty bad right now and i think shes cutting out the easiest thing to get rid of which is me. But then why is she seeing one of her coworkers at her summer internship? I think he is a rebound because he's an easy escape from her home life(her parents don't know where he lives) and he's her coworker so he can relate to her better than i can right now and i think hes in her ear telling her I'm not right for her. I'm lost and confused and just looking for an outside perspective of whats going on, i know we are young but i feel like our relationship was real and genuine so any solid advice will really help. Also if i want to win her back how should i go about it? Thanks! | Girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me and a couple weeks later shes seeing a coworker at her summer internship. |
t3_4jcvwt | relationships | I [16F] am getting so confused on this whole relationship thing with my love interest [17M]. I really don't want to do anything to mess this up...? | I'm going through a kinda confused phase right now with my crush (?) Him and I are very close, we've been best friends longer than I can remember and a few weeks ago we confessed our feelings toward each other. We do all the couple stuff and call each other little pet names and such, but we haven't exactly called each other boyfriend/girlfriend (or said the L word yet) He's told me that I mean a lot to him, and he wants us to have a life together one day, when we both are of adult age. I guess I'm a little confused, one day we'll be all lovey with each other, then the next things will be...weird. He's told me sometimes he has trouble expressing his emotions at times, but I really just don't understand why guys do that. They pull back, leave you wondering, then I get hurt and we get into a argument about something that wasn't even a problem. I think I may have a security issue, cause he's told me so many times to chill and stop worrying about him leaving. That just because we're not like that all the time doesn't means his feelings have changed. I know he's right, but I just don't get why boys do that..? It confuses me and leaves me making up assumptions about things that he's not even thinking. I know this probably doesn't sound as important as older relationship problems, but our feelings toward each other are pretty strong, and we're both getting pretty serious about all this, and I don't want to do anything that may ruins that. I tried asking my mom but she didn't really take me seriously. | My crush and I are are getting serious, but he's starting to confuse me, and it's starting to drive me a little crazy. Don't know what to do about all these feelings. |
t3_33er1n | tifu | TIFU by being a stupid teenager | Sorry for any mistakes I may have made in this post, this is my first time posting here. Plus, I'm on my phone typing this out.
So it started out as another day. Well, except for the fact that we had a district test. Four hours of sitting in a classroom, either reading, taking a test or sleeping. I did all of the test in two and a half hours, leaving me with extra time. I just sat there reading for the remainder of it. After that, we went to classes and then left. I got picked up from the school and then went to Walmart with my mom. I went to another part of the store from her to get some Velveeta Mac and Cheese (that stuff is the best). I picked up the mac and cheese and began looking for my mom. Here's where the FU begins. I was texting with my mom, trying to find out where she was. Being tired from the test, I wasn't paying attention. As I was typing, I ran into some guys basket and flipped into it. I screamed because I just flipped into a basket, and the man was screaming because there was a person in his basket. Thank God the basket was empty. I sat there for about ten seconds trying to figure out what just happened, then I proceeded to get out. It was super awkward watching the man's face as I was climbing out of his basket. I walked away quickly and found my mom. I didn't tell her out it because if I did she would've laughed her head off. Ended up leaving from there shortly after. I saw the man in the parking lot as we were getting into the car. One of the most awkward moments of eye contact. | I was being a stupid teenager by texting and walking. Flipped into a guys basket and had to get away as quickly as I could. |
t3_4del0x | relationships | I think my [24f] boyfriend [30m] is holding onto his ex [27f] | My boyfriend (30m) recently got a message from his ex (27f) asking to meet up to catch up. The two of them haven't dated in years. He told her that he didn't want to meet up with her because he still had feelings for her and didn't want to complicate his relationship with me (24f). Though he did not actually betray me, it kind of bothers me that he is not over her yet. Again it's been years since he has dated her, and she wasn't his last girlfriend. I also often feel that he is holding back in our own relationship and wonder whether this could be what is holding him back. For example, it took him a really long time to tell me that he loved me, and he has often stated that he thinks that he jumped into our relationship, but he really liked me and wanted to pursue me. We have also been dating now for about one and a half years. Should I be worried about this behavior? | My boyfriend was recently contacted by his ex and admitted he still has feelings for her. Wondering if it is making him hold back in our relationship. |
t3_51i2s1 | relationships | My Ex girlfriend [18F] is sending nudes to one of my [18M] best friends [22M] | The title pretty much says it all. One of my closest mates let me know that she's been sending him lewd pictures without him doing anything to even be misconstrued as flirting or asking for them. In his typical awkward fashion he just sent memes in return, but she didn't stop.
She'll be visiting in a few weeks to hang out and drink with everyone of our mutual friends. Our college dorm is quite small and the walls are thin. So I'll be able to hear everything that goes on.
And there's been whisperings of someone who lives on the same floor as me who I called a friend (Not anymore for different reasons) talking to her and trying to sleep with her. I wouldn't put it past her because she's slept with her ex boyfriends' best friends in the past to get back at them. | ExGf sending unprovoked nudes to best friend, how to deal with her being in the same building as me for a weekend |
t3_3lglfw | tifu | TIFU by looking at sex toys while logged into my mom's amazon account | Well, a few days ago my friend and I were bored and somehow the conversation of "weird things you can buy on Amazon" came up.
"Hey I wonder if you can buy dildos on Amazon!"
Well of course, my curious mind had to find out. So I open Amazon and start looking. Dildos galore! So I search further into the sex related goodness. What IS the weirdest sex related thing you can buy on Amazon? All sorts of fetish related stuff pops up. S&M bondage gear, Adult Baby gear, enemas, my friend and I burst into epic giggles. Then I realize...
I'm logged into my mom's Amazon and not my own and now all that stuff is in her browsing history and recommendations for the entire family to see. | Accidentally viewed sex toys while logged into mom's amazon account, now entire family is getting recommendations based on my fun filled browsing session. |
t3_vef6r | relationship_advice | Boyfriend (33/m) of 2 months didn't even get me a card for my bday (31/f). Say something or let it go? | We've been dating for 2 months now and introduce each other as bf/gf. He was supposed to come home from the office yesterday to hang out with me at 1. I told him to take more time and he insisted upon it. I got to his place at 1. He got there at 3. I was bummed because I canceled other plans to hang out with him, but understood because I've had deadlines that take precedence.
What I didn't understand was not having received or card or anything. We had dinner reservations at 9pm so I figured maybe he was going to do something then, but nothing. I'm not fancy and I don't needs to be showered with gifts, but a card or even a flower picked from outside would have been great.
He left this am for a tournament and won't be back till Sunday evening. 1st question: Do I say something and if so, how do I do it without sounding naggy, and 2nd question: If I do say something, do I do it now or wait till he comes home? I don't want to stress him out, but I don't want to get more bothered. | BF didn't even give me a card for my birthday and I'm bummed. Do I say something or does that make me a nag? |
t3_1qess8 | Dogtraining | 3 year old family pet just started biting | I just started having a serious problem with my dog and I am at my wits end. She is a beagle pittie mix weighing in at 55 lbs. So I already know my dog isn't the best behaved, she barks too much, jumps on people, and used to countersurf. Each of those issues we have taken steps to correct (spray collar, "quiet" command, down, etc) with pretty good success. My dog is really just a big softy, loves to cuddle, and lets my kid climb all over her and doesn't even flinch. I never thought she would have a biting problem.
About two weeks ago she was off leash in our shared yard with a couple of our other neighbors and their dogs. We had not had any problems with her being off leash in our yard, even with other dogs and people coming and going. Then she went and bit the neighbor. He recently moved in, and she hadn't been introduced to him yet. He was leaving and "scared" her by coming out of his front door and she bit him on the back of his leg before I could grab her. It left a bruise but did not break skin. I apologized and she has been on a leash ever since.
Just the other day she was outside with my wife and son, as my wife was visiting with a couple female acquaintances. Everything seemed fine, my dog has met these people before so we were not especially worried. One of her friends got up, and before I could instruct my wife (she had the leash) my dog bit the back of her friend's leg. Again, I apologized, it was bruised but didn't break skin.
She's never been like this before, and I'm worried and trying not to picture worst-case scenarios. I'm going to take her to the vet and rule out anything medically wrong with her, and we are looking into a trainer that has come highly recommended in cases of aggression. Any other suggestions or advice would be greatly appreciated! | 3 year old family dog has just bit two people. Had no prior problems with aggression. Aside from taking her to the vet and getting a trainer, is there anything else I can do? |
t3_4ak9aq | relationships | Me [18 M/F] with this guy I'm interested in [18 M] how do I get him to read a text message he missed? | I met this guy on Friday who seemed really into me, I started to develop an interest towards him as the days passed, and I planned on asking him to hang out with me after school today. Well I didn't want to ask him out of the blue, instead I was looking to make a conversation first. I took photos of his band on Friday, and I sent him the Google Drive link to the shots yesterday as a conversation starter. He said "oh you are a darling" and then sent a heart. We talked about the photos a while and then when I asked him how his day went I hadn't realised that he'd gone offline a minute before I asked. It's been about thirteen hours since and he hasn't read my message; what do I do? I'm worried that he's ignoring me but then I'm also afraid he'll never see the message and I can never really send another because I'd look needy. What do I do? I really like him and I'd be utterly disappointed if we could never be a thing just because of a poorly timed text message. | He missed my text message, I don't know how to get him to read it. Is he just ignoring me? |
t3_4fqmp3 | relationships | My [19M] girlfriend[18F] might go to a formal with a date for a frat, because her friend wants her to go. | So, to start off we will call the friend "Abby" and my girlfriend "Sam.
So Sam and I have been dating for 6 months, but have been really good friends for a little over 5 years. Abby is going to a Frat formal a ways away from campus and wants Sam to go with her; Abby's date has a friend that also needs a date, so Sam would going as a date with that guy. Now, as far as I know the sleep arrangement is they will be sleeping in a hotel in the same bed as their date. I'd be fine with this if it was a friend that Sam knew, but since Sam doesn't know her at all I'm kinda "ehhhh" about the situation. Am I just being too concerned or what?
P.S. Her and I live 5.5 hours away, just incase there is any question about that. | Abby wants Sam to go to a Frat Formal with her that involves an overnight and her and the date sleeping in the same bed. |
t3_1hywmf | relationships | I [M18] am still a virgin, and can't get a girlfriend | So I'm 18 and I'm still a virgin. I have only been in one relationship which ended last December (I still haven't fully gotten over it). My best friend really wants to get me laid, and he just plans on like bringing me to a party with this girl he knows, getting us both drunk and then I'd have a one night stand with her. I told him that I didn't want to lose my virginity in a one night stand, and that I'd want to lose it while in a relationship with a girl. He didnt understand why I felt like this, but I think I'd feel more lonely if I lost it in a one night stand to a random girl.
I really want to get a girlfriend, but I don't know how to. I just graduated high school and Im going to college in september. I have only one friend that's a girl and I don't see myself getting into a relationship with her. I really want a girlfriend and I don't know how to get one, any help? (Sorry if this is the wrong subreddit for this). | I'm a 18 year old virgin and I want to lose my virginity in a relationship, but I don't know how to get a girlfriend, any help? |
t3_sdsr4 | AskReddit | My 16 year old friend is dating a 27 year old man | One of my friends at school is dating a guy who is 10 years older than her. She is 16, soon to be 17, and I am 17. Her boyfriend lives with her and her parents and he is a friend of her dad. She has told me that they have had sex and a while ago she feared that she was pregnant (thankfully she was not). To my knowledge, her parents nor anyone else in her family know of their relationship.
In spite of her alarming relationship with this guy, I want to date her. I have told her my feeling about her relationship and she agreed with my opinions. She told me that she left a note on his bed saying that she wanted to break up with him and he that he left her a note saying that he did not want to.
I'm not sure how I should go about handling this situation. If I do end up dating her, I will fear that she might cheat on me with her ex-boyfriend considering they live in the same house. However, if I do end up dating her, I plan on speaking with her ex and telling him if he "drinks my Kool-Aid", I'll put his ass in prison. | My 16 year old friend, who I want to be my girlfriend, is dating a guy 10 years older than her. |
t3_3kwgal | relationships | Me [27 F] with guy I'm dating [39M]...is "fooling around" considered being a tease? | Quick question here:
I used to be one of those girls who just didn't have sex, period, unless I was in a full-blown relationship. This was when I was younger...like, when I lost my virginity at 18, up through maybe 23.
Since then I've gotten a little more "lax" with sex...to not very good results. Normally it will turn into a hookup situation where I'm confused as to where it's going, how he feels, what is the commitment level, etc.
I just started dating a guy and REALLY like him. We've been out twice over the course of a month and a half. Crazy summer schedules for both of us, but keeping in contact (obviously) that entire time.
Our chemistry is insane and my physical desire to sleep with him is HIGH. Both dates we've HEAVILY made out in public.
Now approaching third date...I don't want to ruin it and jump into anything...I want to get to know each other better and really feel out his intentions. I don't want to mess this up or complicate it with sex until I'm positive we're both on the same page about wanting to date each other exclusively.
When I was younger and put off sex, I used to "fool around" with guys...shirts off, making out, maybe some below the belt stuff...you get the idea. I've since read, however, that this "rounding the bases" thing is VERY annoying for guys, they'll see you as a tease, etc.
Obviously I don't want that, but I'd like to progress sexually with him so they relationship seems like it is moving forward. Also, like I said, I'm insanely attracted to him.
All that being said, I just can't handle actual sex with him (or anyone I really like) without being positive about the other person's commitment level.
Guess my question is...is "fooling around" going to annoy this guy? Would it be better to just stop things at the door and not go upstairs? | Dating a new guy I REALLY like, want to get more physical without sex. Is fooling around going to annoy him? Would it be better to keep things outside, in public, until I'm ready to have sex? |
t3_2ftbr6 | relationships | Me, [21 F] with my Mother [51 F], She thinks that I'm not capable of anything, including my relationship with my boyfriend of three years. [21 M]. | My mother is relatively old fashioned as well as relatively messed up. She's had a hard life, and she's one of those people who's convinced, for whatever reason, that everyone is a phony and people are not to be trusted no matter how close they are to you. She's contantly trying to push this view on me. I'm apparently doing something absolutely terrible by being a cheerful person. (I'm not blindly cheerful or anything. I'm just kind of a jokey, giggly person. I can be serious at work or when it's relevant.)
I'm a genuinely positive person. I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself. I pay my bills, and rent and keep tidy. However, this isn't good enough for her. She rags on me for not keeping a paper checkbook (as I do it online.) Hell, she rags on me for doing buisness/ having relationships online because, and I quote, 'it's not real life." I've tried to explain how things work to her, but she pretty much just puts her fingers in her ears and goes 'LA-LA-LA-LA-LA'.
I've also got an LDR with my boyfriend of nearly 3 years. My mother, however, is constantly trying to get me to break up with my sweet, awesome boyfriend on the argument that 'he's going to cheat on me, anyway because he's a **MAN**', or 'it's too hard for you'; or my favourite: "He's a nice boy, but he's too far away! You should just give it up."
She's constantly going off about how I shouldn't trust him, or any of my other male friends because they're men and shouldn't be trusted; or how everything I do is dumb and childish. (With my hobbies, or whatever.)
I've tried to get her to talk about feelings and stuff, but she, again, just kinda sticks her fingers in her ears and goes 'LA-LA-LA-LA-LA' if it isn't about her. | Mother thinks I'm a little dumbass because I don't do things her way, plus bonus casual misandry bugs the heck outta me. |
t3_2piyci | relationships | Should I [17/m] wait for the girl I like [18/f] to break up with her boyfriend or should I move on? | I have liked this girl in one of my classes for a couple months now. It wasn't anything serious, I just thought she was pretty cute. I knew, though, that she had a boyfriend. The class is 99% project oriented, so the few seniors in the class (4 of us, 2f 2m) stuck together and we talked/worked with each other pretty much daily.
Flash forward 3 months (two weeks ago), she was asking my other friend about how to reply to her boyfriends text in a way that would make him mad (the text he sent was the same way), so I assumed they must have broken up. This was a Friday, and the next week us two were assigned to work on a project all week together. I thought this was a perfect opportunity to get closer to her.
The whole week we talked and stuff, and nothing major came out of it. I got the sense that she might be interested in me, but Friday of last week, my other friend in the class asked her if she is still dating that one dude (her boyfriend doesn't go to my school), and I strained to hear it but she said something along the lines of yes. I didn't want to believe it but I checked facebook and it said still in a relationship. I felt really uneasy about it, and that week made my feelings for her much stronger. We started texting about school stuff (finals mainly and grades in that class) the last few days, and I really miss her when I am not at school. It's obvious she isn't in a very strong relationship, but I don't want to expect that something bad will happen to what might be a good relationship (in her mind) . I really like her and don't want to stop communicating with her over Christmas break (which started today for me), 3 weeks.
Should I wait her relationship out to see if she's even interested in me? It sucks not having an answer, and it would come across really creepy considering she is still in a relationship (or so I think). Should I keep texting her, or would that make it weird between us? | I really like this girl, but don't know if I should wait for her to break up with her boyfriend or if I should just move on. |
t3_428qwj | personalfinance | Refinanced car loan to get me off the loan. Today the bank sent me the title. Is the car mine now, not the banks? | So, I was an idiot and got a car loan with a boyfriend that is now an ex. I was making the payments and paying the insurance. Finally, I am making him take me off the loan, but the bank said they would need to pay off the current loan and then create a new one with only his name. As I understand it, basically the bank was selling the car to itself because both the old and new loan are at the same bank.
I have all of the paperwork from the bank I am supposed to sign; a bill of sale, authorization to payoff, an application for title and registration with my ex's info pre-populated and a special power of attorney. I haven't sent any of it in yet.
Today in the mail I got the title along with a letter saying the car was now paid in full and that I needed to go to the DMV to get a new title with them removed as lien holders.
Shouldn't the bank still have the title? Did the bank just accidentally forgive the 6,000 loan? Does my ex still have to pay the loan? Do I need to "sell" the car to my ex? What happened? | I think the bank just accidentally forgave a 6,000 loan. But they also charged me the loan payment after the lien was released, so I am confused. |
t3_384ay7 | relationships | I [28/M] would like to date this girl [26/F] but I'm not sure how to handle her current "Rebound" state after ending a long term relationship a month ago. | Throwaway in case any of my friends know my main username but basically I have known this girl for several years and we have always been very close and dated very briefly but she ended up going with another guy to whom she was engaged for two years. Now a month ago they broke off the engagement and she's been coming and spending time with me a few times a week, mostly with other friends, with some light flirting but not any serious sexual advances or anything.
I love spending time with her and we always have a great time and I even took her out to a wonderful dinner this weekend but there's something that she's hiding that concerns me. She's been having an ongoing "booty call" type relationship with at least two (that I know of) guys that she met on Tinder and I'm kind of conflicted how I should react. She's been very careful to make sure that I don't find out but also has her location turned on on Facebook and so curiosity got the better of me when I noticed she was staying overnight in unusual locations in nearby cities.
On one hand I feel a little hurt and jealous but at the same time I want to approach the situation maturely and recognize that she is a sexual human being and often times there is a need to express that after the end of a long relationship in the form of a fling or rebound. I guess my real fear is that when it's all said and done she's going to show up one day introducing one of these guys as her new boyfriend and I'm going to feel like I missed out on my shot.
I guess when it boils down to it my question is, how should I handle the situation? I do care for her a lot and while I do respect her private sex life I would like for us to end up together once all the rebounding is done. Do I stay away? Do I just pretend like I don't know and just keep dating casually for a while before making the move to being exclusive? | Girl I like is currently on the rebound. How can I let her sow her "wild oats" but also try to date her myself? |
t3_tipuj | AskReddit | What Is The Dumbest or Craziest Thing You Did In Grade School Just To Impress Your Friends? | Just recently had a minor flashback while I was on the toilet earlier today and remembered something really stupid I did back in 3rd - 4th Grade (Not entirely sure which.) Mind at the time everyone at that age always told crazy stories that never happened or did something cool to impress the other kids while out at recess or just playing to be the "Cool Kid" in the class.While visiting my grandparents I seen this Vietnamese Drama my grandmother was watching and noticed this old man was using a leaf as a whistle somehow. Over time tried and tried to figure out how it was done and could only do it for a brief moment but success nonetheless. Me being the awesome kid that I am tried to do this new skill while at recess to try to impress the other kids and show that nature is my bitch and I can make it whistle for me. Not thinking, I grab the nearest leaf that I found and proceeded to make it whistle for about 2 seconds. A minute later my entire face is inflamed and burning like crazy because the one leaf I happen to grab was Poison Ivy and spent the entire day in the nurses office. | Tried to be cool and use a leaf as a whistle. Leaf = Poison Ivy. Me crying like a bitch for a few days afterwards because my face burns. |
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