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t3_ftab5 | AskReddit | Quick question about the DMV in Florida (or any state, really) | So yesterday, I was swimming to a ghost town (no joke) and while I was wading through the water, my wallet slipped out of my bag and I lost my wallet, which had all of my identification. So, since I pretty much can't do anything without it I ask of you, Reddit, a simple question.
If you are getting a new license, do you HAVE to go to an office that is in the same county as your permanent address?
The only reason being is that I am in college on the Suncoast, about 2 hours away from my house, and with no license; I'd rather not risk it.
ANY help will be appreciated. | First time losing my wallet with everything, need to know if I can go to the DMV anywhere to get a new license. |
t3_4fraqd | legaladvice | Employer Dispute - Ontario Contract Law - Temporary Layoffs? | Hello good lawyers! Hopefully you can shine some sunlight onto my day. I work in Ontario, Canada and have been at a company for 10 years, with a little break. The company has a habit of doing "temporary layoffs" in which employees are essentially put on furlough with no severance until a time period expires.
As someone who brings in a lot of money for them, I suggested that I would stay on as an employee if they added an IF, THEN (I'm a nerd) clause in my contract. Essentially, IF you create any kind of severance in my employment, including temp layoff, THEN you will trigger this clause which pays me my allocated severance (1/week per year of employment). They said NO! That's not legal, it will trigger the same thing for every employee! I think this is hogwash, but I quit because of it. I'm curious if it's a bunch of bullshit or if they were being honest... Go lawyers! Thanks for any input! | Ontario Labour Law - Is it OK to add a clause to a contract for one person in which a temporary layoff triggers a WHOLE layoff or firing, with the goal of that person receiving severance? |
t3_mucnj | AskReddit | I just got out of hospital/rehab, I need help healing over my fractured pelvis | This has nothing to do with drug use. I was away from home/reddit because I got hit by some highly absurd 19-year old who was doing 90 mph in a neighborhood area. I was just spending the night stargazing with a gal and we decided to switch spots and then I got T-boned. I don't remember the accident but I do have a digital police report and the guy goes on to assert that I've been driving on the opposite side of the road and he didn't see me when he was stopped at a stop-sign. Which is total rubbish because I had no stop-signs in my direction nor did I have to vacate my proper lane. He was just being young and dangerous, jumping stop-signs in speed and he's making excuses for it.
Anyways, the injuries I came out with are minor brain trauma, a collapsed lung, a collapsed diaphragm and a fractured pelvis. All of which are fixable except for the fractured pelvis. It's so much pain on my left ass-cheek. It's been rough for me to sit, lie down evenly (I have to lie down on my right side all the time to apply pressure to it), and feel like my spine has been displaced. Every time I shift my buttocks to add pressure to the right cheek, I get this weird spinal movement that feels unnatural and pieces of my spine feel displaced. Anyways, is there anything I can do in order to fix my pelvis? I can walk fully with really small pains but the doctor told me I should stick to the crutches until I heal - which is what I'm doing now and it feels kinda stupid. | I fractured my pelvis in an accident and I've been getting pain in my left ass cheek, how do I heal the pelvis faster than just single-handedly lying down on my right side? |
t3_2hbzli | relationships | "The Waiting Game" and if I(25m) should tell her(27F) "I love you" first. Possible dumbass question. | I tried to ask this in askmen but they won't let me because my throwaway is new and I don't' want to use my real reddit username because we send one another stuff on here all the time and there's a chance she knows it.
Preface: I love her. I fucking love everything about her. Her smell, her smile, her heart. She's amazing, the relationship is phenomenal.
I was talking to my coworker/best friend about her and he asked if I'd told her yet. I said no, because the time hasn't really felt right (dating since February for anyone curious). I said I thought it would just come from either one of us organically when the moment felt right but he said to wait because if I admit it first that gives her an "upper hand."
I've never thought of this and don't really understand the logic. I've been working up some nerve to get this off of my chest anyway so him saying this has me confused. She's not my first girlfriend at all, but I usually like for things like this to just be blurted out when one party feels like they can't keep it in longer. It ends up being the female saying it first though in any other relationship I've had.
What do y'all think? Do you say it first or wait it out? Do you think you "lose" anything by being the one to admit it? How long have you went before saying it? | Got "I love you" on my lips and want to talk to people that have different opinions on when they felt the same. |
t3_10febb | AskReddit | Fight a transfer, or move to a worse job location? | I used to work @ location A. Started at this location and was promoted twice there over a 18 month period. I was forced to move to location B; a higher volume store, which I worked less hours but made more commission. (work in sales... I make 12.75/hr and commission ranging anywhere from $400 to 2k a month). After 11 months here and decently impressive sales I'm being told I must go back to location A, because they lost a staff member. Since I left location A, it's gone to shit in sales, and I gear that I'll be making about $3-500 less a month due to commission. The only benefit I see in going back is that location A is within walking distance Wheras location B is 1 hr bus ride every day back and forth. I'd probably make the same amount of hours, but I calculated the last 10 months I worked at both locations, and it was a difference of about $0.40/hr commission, and that was when the store was actually making money, and now it doesn't make 75% of what it used to. Lastly I was moved to location B to supposedly "move up in the company", and this essentially will be a demotion in both pay and position in the company (High volume store rep is valued more than a lower volume). What would u do? | being told I must go to a store that I'll make life money at. The ONLY benefit I see is that it's extremely close to where I live, but everything else is a con |
t3_3dpu4e | relationships | Me [19M] with my girlfriend [20F] of 3 years, is this the end of the relationship? | Hi All, I don't really know where to start so I'll just start blurting stuff out.
We've been having some issues for quite a while in our relationships, she has serious trust issues, insecurity and is emotionally abusive.
I feel like I can't do anything without being in the wrong, if a female co-worker says bye to me or a female friend adds me on Facebook I get the whole "Who is that? Why you haven't you told me about them before?" She'll search people I mention and judge whether they're prettier than her... If I do actually add any female friends on social media she just starts talking shit about them or their actions until it's easier to just get delete them to avoid the trouble.
I feel like she also tries to lure me into making statements she can use against me eg. "Look at my friend in this picture, isn't she so much more pretty than me?"
If we're not talking all day long she freaks out, if I only get to see her 2-3 times a week she freaks out.
If I want to spend time with my friends she starts acting like it's an issue but won't tell me what's wrong even if I ask.
I told her last weekend that I don't feel like we have a connection anymore and she started screaming, crying and saying she was going to kill herself.
I told her about all the issues I have and she promised she'd change but I think it's too late...
I feel like my feelings have already changed for her and maybe I resent her? Like I used to love spending time with her and talking to her but now I don't even want to see her.
I feel like I enjoy myself more talking to other people and being around other people.
Normally after we have a big blow up or I'm angry about something it normally blows over the next day and I just kinda get over it - but this time it feels different.
Is it wrong of me to feel this way? And does this mean it's the end? I've never been in another relationship so I'm not quite sure. | How do I know when it's time to leave? Is this just another incident that will blow over and then all be fine? How do you even end a long term relationship? |
t3_130ycs | relationship_advice | [16/m].My Ex-GF [16/f] broke up with me should I try to get her back? | Well the relationship only lasted about a month. I asked her out around homecoming, but she was already going as friends with someone being non-invasive and respecting that the other guy asked I didn't make anything of it and gave her my approbation (not like it really mattered much) to go. Well the relationship started out great, but after HC she seemed to just completely stop talking to me and then later she said she had to tell me something. As the week progressed she came over one day and told me she didn't think we should go out, but her reasoning was that she saw her ex and realized that she didn't have the same feeling for me as she did for him. I let her go without any real say, but I really regret that. I feel like I should have said something to try and keep her, but as I hear more about her ex she seemed like it really still troubles her and I hate to see her get held back so much from her past. All in all it lasted about a month, but it was an extremely fun month :). Also, another friend told me before I asked her out that something like this was bound to happen as she still wasn't over her ex. I didn't listen. | Girlfriend broke up with me after a month based on her feelings for her ex. I let her go w/o any resistance, but I feel like I should have said something or at least attempted to keep her. |
t3_243e0d | relationship_advice | I [21/F] met a guy [23/M] online but he has a girlfriend | I met a guy online through a video game. We both started talking a lot day after day and became really close. He has had a girlfriend for about 7 years now and he's admitted to having a crush on me. I have a crush on him, as well. He said he "enjoys talking to me more than he'd like" and I certainly am emotionally involved. I do not know what he looks like and we've only communicated once outside of the video game (via Skype chat), so it's purely emotional through the game.
I'm not asking for advice on how to break them up, etc., because I don't want to ruin a 7 year relationship. I just want to know what is going on in his mind? | Met a guy through a video game, became close but he has had a girlfriend of 7 years, admitted a crush on me, what is going on in his mind? |
t3_1p3efy | dating_advice | She's unsure about her current relationship, what do now? | I met this girl 6 days ago. I could tell she was kinda into me. She asked for my number, and we've been texting on and off since. I asked her to eat with me at the cafeteria, and she agreed. I asked her if she was single one night via text, she took longer to reply than she normally does, but responded that someone is chasing her (she's bad at english), but she's not sure if that counts. I asked her if she thought it counted, she said that they were in a long distance relationship but she doesnt know if it can keep up through only calls and texts. Then I said oh i see. Then a long pause, then she said that maybe she's still single, but she doesn't know exactly. (insert confused face here). She said he treats her well all the time but she doesn't want to break his heart. (insert pouting face here).
I don't get it. | we both kinda like each other, but she's in a long distance relationship, doesn't know if it will work out, and she thinks she might be single, but not exactly sure. I want to date this girl. |
t3_50f4jy | relationships | My [16F] cousin [16M] is now talking to an old "friend" [15F] of mine who will do no good to him | Hello r/relationships again! I have a problem I'll keep this short.
I was once friends with a girl and she was a horrible friend, and girlfriend to other boys and just kinda forgot I existed after she moved 20 minutes away even though I thought we were best friends. She is now into a lot of bad stuff that I don't think is right. She's cheated on every boyfriend she has had and makes them feel like shit. And now she is talking to my cousin.
First, I'm so angry because one, how could she act like she has never known me, but talk to my cousin that I am extremely close to! And two, I've told my cousin multiple times to not talk to her because all she wants is to bang him then go on her way. She has a lot of mental problems too which she uses to get attention and sympathy and it aggravates me to no end.
Adding onto all that, my cousin send pictures of me to her and I don't like it. He won't listen to me. I'm not sure how to handle this because neither of them are or will listen to me. | old asshole "friend" talks to my cousin and ignores me and I've told cousin not to talk to friend but he won't listen |
t3_2io3ig | relationships | Me [27 M] dating girl [24 F] for a couple of months. She's not too keen on socializing. What can I do to bring her out of her shell? | Long time lurker, first time poster on /r/relationships. I find the advice on this thread to be excellent, so I'm reaching out to everyone here.
For obvious reasons, I won't go too much into detail as I'm not sure if she's a redditor, but here's a general gist of how things are. Also note that it's been a while since my last gf, so times may have changed?
So I recently starting dating this girl who identifies herself as anti-social. All the dates we've had so far have been planned by me and as far as I can tell, we do enjoy each others company (good laughs, long hugs, etc). We talk regularly so it's not like she's brushing me off but I could be completely wrong. The female mind can be very difficult to decipher at times.
I've given her the opportunity to suggest and plan dates, but it would ultimately come back to me to set something up. We only see each other once per week. Twice, if the stars and planets are aligned.
I can understand that each person is different and some prefer more alone time then others. I'm quite similar in that respect but it's still nice to have someone else plan out activities and be spontaneous from time to time.
At this point, I'm starting to feel like this is a one sided affair. In her defense though, our dates are still pretty casual, and we haven't discussed how we're moving forward.
Am I just being a bit crazy here or this is common? | Dating girl who is somewhat anti-social. Does not like to plan outings/dates. Feeling like a one sided affair. |
t3_1zo570 | relationships | I[26 M] have a thing for an old aquiantance [26 F]. The problem is I live 7000 miles away. [Dating][Friendship] | I used to live overseas when I was a teenager and there was a girl I knew in my greater friendship circle. When I was 18 I left but I went back to visit every few years and this girl stayed in my friendship circle even though we were never close and we would never communicate otherwise.
Recently I went back and visited and ended up spending two or three days with her hanging out and Ive developed a thing for her. The problem is while I was there she was super friendly but since Ive come home ive found it incredible difficult to stay in touch with her. I message her on facebook but she so rarely uses it that theres no real point and I don't know whether texting or whatsapping is too.. imposing. Its the first time i've been in a situation where im always over thinking things and im not used to it. It will come across as arrogant but usually its not this difficult for me.
Every day that passes makes me want to talk to her more but i don't want to come across as some obsessive individual. So I don't know what I should do. We've exchanged 3 or 4 messages on facebook since then but thats about it. When I left she said we should stay in contact and keep in touch often but since then its been the opposite.
Am I just over thinking things? Am I just missing a major hint here that she was being friendly and thats it. Halp! | Met an old friend while I was overseas. Spent a few days together. Im crushing over here and want to be in her life in one way or another but can't read the situation. |
t3_3dsx0m | relationships | Me [25 M] Going through a rough situation! | Please read this first, then come back,
Ok, so I've recently started working at my church/grade school(where she and I went to) as a part time janitor/maintenance guy. That means I have been once again roaming the halls of where I spent the first 10 years of my school life, and well...how can I stop the memories from coming back. It's like I'm back at those days and how can I not stop thinking about her? Being in the classroom where I used to sit and think about her, in the gym where we danced, and especially the halls where we'd stare at each other as we passed by each other. Oh, how my heart aches. It takes all I can to keep myself from crying infront of my boss and coworkers. I can't help it, being back where it all took place, it's just a big reminder that I failed and it's all over and I'm NOT going to get a 2nd chance! I know, I sound like emo, but please remember, I've gone through my whole life(25 years) and only had this 1 girl give me ANY kind of attention, so when you don't get much support or attention, well you can't help but feel unwanted, invisible, and depressed, and these feelings arent' going to go away if this remains constant. I'm glad I got this job, but it's been very hard for me to put on a brave face and pretend like I'm not thinking about something painful. | I cannot and will not get in touch with this girl, it's been too long and I can't just pop back into her life. |
t3_1nlitl | tifu | TIFU by telling my graduate school professor to call me Daddy. | This happened to my friend today. "I was a few minutes late to class today. Our professor (of our professional doctorate program, who is relatively young and attractive) regularly sends around a sign in sheet to check that we're all there for "participation points" (see, grade padding). The sign in sheet had already gone through and I didn't get to sign in, so I think "hey, I'll just send her an email letting her know I'm in class."
Mistake.
After a couple hours I look and see that I accidentally sent it from my undergraduate email account. The signature of said account is "Daddy." Therefore, the email I sent said:
Dr._____,
I am in class today, but I was a few minutes late and missed the sign in sheet. Just wanted to let you know.
Daddy. | Sent an email from a wrong address, essentially told my professor that my name is now Daddy. Awkward sexual tension expected. |
t3_3ehoaz | relationships | My [M28] gf [F25] of 11 months is making me feel I'm on a rollercoaster ride with her constant questioning of us. | I love my girlfriend a lot, and I know I want to be with her. She says the same to me, but then she gets scared. She'll start just being really nasty/cold to me out of the blue after we've been having fun for a while and everything seems smooth.
After talking about it, she'll tell me she really cares and loves me and sees herself with me for a long time, but she gets scared and pushes me away because she's scared of being hurt. Then she says she can't keep hurting me like this, and then debates breaking up. She has little self esteem, and I know she loves me and thinks she doesn't deserve me. This has been a more frequent thing as of late.
I've talked to her about it, and I talked to her about getting counseling which she is willing to try. But this is starting to chip away at me. I love this girl, and I don't want to break up. But I don't know what to do anymore. I told her that if she's not all in, please break up with me. She says she is, but then the cycle happens again.
How do I keep my sanity? Where do I draw the line? I really don't want to break up at all, but I don't know what to do. Things will be great for a week, terrible for a day, etc. | girlfriend of 11 months constantly goes back and forth of wanting to be with me and then freaking out and pushing me away. I have no idea what to do |
t3_3pq862 | relationships | My [19 F] ex-boyfriend [22 M] says he will not be able to get over me until we have sex one last time. | My ex-boyfriend is very lonely and does not have very good social skills. We dated for four months, it was my first serious relationship and his second.
I broke up with him but I felt bad for him, so we remained friends. Mainly we chatted online. He wanted us to sleep together still. I - feeling guilty - agreed to this but then backed out. But he kept on asking many times and occasionally I would relent and say yes, only to back out again. This has happened with a lot of guys, I have noticed. I can't tell if it is their fault for not taking no for an answer, or my fault for saying 'yes' when I was unsure.
Anyway, yesterday the ex-boyfriend asked me to delete and block him on all our modes of communiation, so he could get over me. It's been around tw omonths since we split, but he is not showing signs of improvement. So I deleted his contact info. But today he contacted me anyway, and is asking for us to sleep together one more time.
He says that it is a 'man' thing... that as a man, he cannot get over me until he has orgasm with me.
I am saying 'no' from the get0go but he keeps on pushing at it. He offered to pay me, and I quote, 'double what I'd pay for a hooker'.
Please assure me that this is ridiculous as it sounds.
This is a message from him:
"why do you think I wanted to fuck you so badly for so long after you left me? you think im just that desperate for any girl?
it's proven easier to just go out and be a douche bag to find a girl than get back with you. look youve blue ballsed me like 3 times in a row and things have just gotten worse every time, i need to deal with this" | Bf needs final fuck to find closure, begs for weeks, I feel bad because I blue-balled him. |
t3_q7ok3 | dating_advice | Having problems with my boyfriend, but I have no clue what to do about it. Please help... :( | I'll just start off by saying that I'm a girl. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost two years, and recently he has been very stressed out with school. He never calls me or texts me, I always call him first and what not, sometimes he will ignore me all day even though I can see he is on facebook all the time. I'm not sure if I'm overreacting- I hope I'm not being a crazy bitch or anything. I just feel like he doesn't even care that we're dating. I haven't seen him in 2 weeks now, and we live 30 minutes away from each other- he says it is because he has tons of schoolwork. I don't think he is cheating on me, because he is the most sexually awkward guy I have ever been with to be perfectly honest. I don't know what to do. I appreciate any advice that anyone has to offer. :/ | Haven't seen boyfriend in two weeks, he doesn't seem to give a shit. I am incredibly hurt by this. |
t3_1jzsjt | personalfinance | Need a new bank, and a credit card that doesn't act like a parent | I need suggestions for a new bank. I'm currently at the local credit union, but I'm not seeing the benefit anymore. I have a Visa with them that I have had for over two years. Up until last month I haven't had any problems.
I travel at least every other weekend for various reasons. About a month ago I traveled out of state (not unusual for me.) We arrived at our destination on Friday and I used my credit card several times with no issues. Saturday morning I tried to use it again and it was declined. When I tried to call the number of the bank, I got a recording that said that they were closed until Monday. My card was frozen and being declined and there was no one I could speak to about it.
When I contacted them on Monday, they informed me that I need to call them before any trip so that they know where I will be. I find this ridiculous and extreme, especially for someone who travels all the time.
Since then, about every third time I buy something online, my card is declined. I also get phone calls about once a week asking me to verify 10 to 14 different transactions. There has NEVER been a fraudulent charge.
When I speak to the people at the credit card, they are extremely rude and tell me I have to take it up with the financial institution. So today I went into the credit union to speak with the manager. She refused to speak to me and tried to communicate with me through the receptionist (it was ridiculous, she made the poor woman run back and forth across the bank with my questions) and basically said they couldn't help me.
So I need a new bank. I like to bank online, but I feel like I ought to have a brick and mortar bank I can go into when necessary (not that it's helped with the credit union). I primarily want someplace that will give me a credit card without all of this hassel. My credit score is over 800 and I keep a significant amount of money in a savings account for emergencies.
Any suggestions? | Need a bank that won't freeze my credit card when I travel, has pleasant people to deal with, and let's me bank online. Suggestions? |
t3_2etk09 | tifu | TIFU by pretending I'm an exchange student looking for weed | **I live in Europe and English is not my first language**
Last night I was at our regular class meeting in my fairly small hometown. After few drinks, me and my best friend wanted to smoke some pot, so we went outside and started to think about where to get it. I remembered that one dude who is used to blaze a lot was telling me something about dirty vietnamese bar in the middle of city where they sell weed. So we went out and looked for it. After 15 minutes going around the middle of the city we found the only pub that was there we decided to step forward and buy it. We could see through the windows that there was an asian bartender so we were pretty sure this was the spot. My friend told me he doesn't want to buy it and I was pretty drunk so I said: "If you give me the money to buy it, I'll go inside". He handed me the cash and I opened the door with an *brilliant* idea in my head. I was going to pretend that I'm a swedish foreign student, speaking english - which is not usual in such a small city. The place looked really crappy and it was dark. I walked up to the asian bartender and asked him *gently* if he has some weed. He responded in german and had no idea whatsoever what I was talking about so he asked some people sitting at the bar if they can translate. At that time, I knew this is going to get only worse, but I hadn't the balls to just leave so I continued with asking for the pot. Those people sitting at the bar didn't understand me eighter, so they turned around at a table behind them full of young - around 24 - students playing poker, suggesting they could understand me. I asked them the same damn question and one of them responded with: "Weed? Hahahaha, dude, say hello to your brother, I haven't seen him in a long time!" At that time, I immediately walked off the pub, pretending like I don't give a shit and they added: "And your uncle too, he's a cool guy!" with continuing laugh. No weed and ashamed as fuck. Perfect combination. I hope my brother and uncle will never get this message. | Everyone knows who you are in a city with less than 30 000 inhabitants, don't EVER try to pretend you're someone else and look for weed. Especially if you're drunk. |
t3_cx9xw | relationship_advice | Starting an open relationship from the beginning | A few months ago I (24 M) ended a serious long-term relationship. My goal since then has been to simply meet more people, which, naturally, turned into sleeping with some of them.
There's one girl that's *really* into me and I like her too. We've seen each other a couple times a week for the last few weeks and I suspect the "are we exclusive" talk will be coming up soon. **The issue: I don't want to be exclusive and want an open relationship. How does one approach this situation?**
I think an open relationship is good when you're young (we're both under 25) because it allows you to explore your options while still enjoying the emotional company of each other. IMO if you're trying to find "the one" then you shouldn't be considering people in serial when it can be done in parallel. | I've been casually seeing someone and we haven't had the "are we an us" talk. How do I propose an open relationship? |
t3_f11yc | Cooking | I just cooked escargot for the first time! | Sadly, I didn't think of taking any pictures... A week ago or so, I was grocery shopping with my parents, and my dad dared me to buy some canned escargot because I took French for five years (it was the first time we'd ever seen it being sold).
Well, reddit, although the idea kinda grossed me out... *I took that dare.* After getting home, I noticed that the can was going to expire on January 15th... Not good. We had our meals planned out through Tuesday, also, so I wouldn't have time to cook them until today.
Anyway, I ended up sautéing the escargot in a shitload of butter, a ton of parsley and thyme, and a bunch of garlic. I ended up splashing some nearby wine into it for good measure.
It came out AMAZING. Not, like, "oh this tastes like butter and garlic" amazing, but "Hey, cool, sautéed snails are pretty awesome" amazing. I convinced my mom to try a piece, but my dad just looked at me like I'd grown two heads.
The moral of this story: Foods that really kinda gross you out at first might end up being really good, so if they're not too expensive, try some! Though, I'd suggest checking the expiration date first. I'm kinda scared about the fact that I just ate it three days before expiration. | ME EAT BUGS. Wait no google says snails aren't bugs. ME EAT GASTROPODS. |
t3_3pqqvc | relationships | I have so many emotional conflicts and it keeps affecting my life. [18 M] | I just do not know what I want. I have very clear feelings for this girl that I can't seem to make go away. I hardly even see her or talk to her but they are there. The problem is I just don't know what to do. I have so many conflicts that stop me from even doing anything.
I don't know if I want a relationship in general. If I do I don't know if I should pursue this girl or just try to find somebody else. If I do pursue this girl how do I go about it. We are semi familiar with each other. We went to high school together, we went to prom together and we even go to the same college now. It's just whenever I see her I get this feeling of wanting to talk to her all the time, but I know that because I like her it would be romantic in nature and I'm not sure if I want that.
She is just a cool person and I want her in my life but I have such strong feelings for her that I am scared of trying to even be friends with her. When I see her I either feel really great or I feel sick, all of these conflicts and issues race through my head and I can't think of anything else until the next day and is becoming a real problem. What should I do? | Have strong feelings about this girl but don't know what I want. It is effecting my life heavily and I need to solve this. |
t3_iobxq | AskReddit | Men of Reddit: Where do you stand on open relationships? | In the short time I've been on Reddit I've noticed the overwhelming majority of posters are absolutely vicious towards cheating girlfriends, the run of the mill reply seems to "Dump the Bitch" often in those exact words.
My viewpoint is somewhat different. If, hypothetically, I found a girl I simply couldn't live without, who made my life genuinely better simply by being there, I simply wouldn't care if she went out with another guy. Of course I would expect the same courtesy in return, open relationships are a two way street after all.
To sum it all up, I see all these Reddit posts with guys broken into little pieces because their fiancee/girlfriends have been cheating on them. All I can think is, wouldn't life be so much simpler if you simply just went in with the attitude that you're the one she loves. The both of you can sleep with whomever you like but at the end of the day, she loves you, you love her & that is all the exclusivity you need. | Reddit would you be man/woman enough to let your girl/guy sleep around as long as at the end of the day they always came back to their one true love, you? Same deal applying to you sleeping around of course. |
t3_25pu7p | relationships | Me [23 M] with my [23 F] friend that I'm interested but she has a new 'friend' | I've been talking to this girl for a few weeks and was gonna ask her out this week. At the time I didn't know she had a boyfriend. She invited me to watch a movie with a group of friends this week. She offered a ride and when she picked me up, there was already another guy in her car. She introduced him with name only (no friend vs boyfriend).
Another friend told me she had a 1st date 2 weeks ago. The girl told me about that day and mentioned she went with our mutual friend (true) but left out the boy.Basically, should I tell her how I feel now or hope her current 'friend' fizzles out and do it then? | Girl has new 'friend.' Should I tell her how I feel about her or hope for the best and wait for it to be over? |
t3_1n56y1 | dating_advice | I m(16) am tearing myself up over what the hell she f(15) thinks this relationship is | good evening everyone. or if your reading this in the morning, goods morning! please buckle up, this is going to be a rough ride.its about ten o'clock in my part of the world, and I've had a long day.
now then. so about a week or two ago, me and the lady in question began talking. over that week, we really hit it off, joking, laughing, and flirting and the like. ask us well, and that Friday I meet up with her and a few friends at
or high schools football game, and we have a blast. loads of fun, and i throw in few little sort of give and chase style things. we exchanged numbers, all is well.
now this week rolls around, and i ask her to go get some pizza sometime with me, she's game. i know, not the best idea for a date, but I've never done this shit before, and i kinda am just moving along as I go. she also invites me to a part sure was gonna have at her house. i'm obliviously game. today it turns out it got canceled, so i'm like, well let's see a movie instead. she's like, cool who's going with us? i suggest that just the two of us could go. she goes, oh. i say that its fine if sure didn't want to do that, and she says that's ask cool, but idk, something in her voice signed a little off.
this had raised many questions in mymind, does she really wanna do this or is she doing it because she's nice, did she think the pics thing was a group activity, was she really inserted in something serious from the get go? or have I misinterpreted this girls attempt to befriend me? this had been eating away at my mine for the past six hours, and u feel like shit, are these fears legitimate or am i just a paranoid moron
to those of you who got this far thank you, i wish you all the best. | girl was game for some date like activities, but may have just thought they were meant for a group of friends not just us. Joe that she knows, i'm experiencing a lot of doubt and worry over the subject. |
t3_lx5e9 | relationships | A naive, innocent girlfriend unknowingly flirts back with other guys that are taking advantage of her clueless-ness. | I'm 17, and my girlfriend is 15 and we've been in a relationship for 7 months. She's been sheltered for a lot of her life by religion and doesn't recognize it when people flirt with her-- she just thinks they're being friendly. So her response is to be friendly back, which sometimes seems like she's flirting. It's been something we've been working on and she's getting a lot better at turning people away but there's still some times when I'll see that she's been facebook messaging a guy from school about ASB or something and he's really trying to flirt with her. She does all the things we've talked about to turn him away but he's still persisting. I've messaged the guy letting him know that we're happy together and that I can see what he's saying, but he's still going for it. Is there anything I can do to get guys like him to stop flirting with my girlfriend, knowing she'll just respond back not knowing what their intentions are? I always feel like the bad guy when I have to tell her to stop talking to someone that she thinks is her friend because I "think" he's flirting with her. | How do I keep guys from flirting with my girlfriend, and explain to her when someone is flirting and how to respond? |
t3_27hu4j | relationships | Me [18 M] with my girlfriend [20 F] just broke up and my mind is all over the place when I thought I'd be okay. | We just broke up having both talked about it a few weeks ago. We were both devastated but we couldn't think of a way around it because we live far away from each other and have very little money and it has become very repetitive with what we do so I find it quite boring.
When I'm not with her I hardly think about her at all and sometimes used to think I would be happier single. But now we've broken up it's like all the feelings I had for her at the start of the relationship have come back and I can't stop thinking about her. | I broke up with my girlfriend thinking I'd be fine but now I think about her all the time and I am very sad. |
t3_1ppkci | relationships | Me [21 F] with my Boyfriend [22 M] 4 months, how do I tell him sometimes I just want to cuddle | My boyfriend is super sweet and always doing nice things for me, I know he's not in it for the sex because he wouldn't sleep with me for 2 months until we were in a serious committed relationship and also because we hang out all the time without hooking up or having sex.
The only problem is that every time he sleeps over we have sex, I'm not complaining because I'm happy that he's so attracted to me and I really like having sex with him. It's also not as though he sleeps over every night, but the thing is, sex is exhausting. Sometimes I just want to cuddle and have him sleep in my bed with me, so I often don't ask him to sleep over even if I want him to, just because I don't feel like having sex.
How do I let him know that as much as I enjoy having sex with him, sometimes I just want to ask him over to cuddle with me or hook up and not have to have sex as well?? And will he be offended or upset if I do ask? | Will my boyfriend be offended if I told him I wish he'd sleep over more but not feel like we're going to have sex every time ?. |
t3_1obkis | Pets | How do I get my cats to stop being jerks to my dog? | So our cats are really rude. They're about 3 years old, brothers, neutered, strictly indoor cats. Here's an example of their rudeness: One day a few weeks ago, Ozzie (cat) was hanging out in a chair in the living room. Totally relaxed, grooming, you know.. chill. And Opal (dog) walks through the living room, also relaxed and chill. This should never turn into an issue right? Well as soon as Opal passes by that chair, Ozzie reaches out and claws the skin on her back, pulls it up, and then bites it! It looked like he was biting into a hamburger! Just totally out of the blue. They do this stuff all. the. time.
I've never really seen it as too much of an issue, just weird horseplay. Opal didn't seem to mind too much but recently, she's been very concerned if the cats approach her. Sometimes she'll even growl at them. (this is very recent- the cats started it!) Now if opal was a little shihtzu or something I wouldn't been too worried because it would be an even match. But she's a 60 lb pit mix and if she decides to defend herself against their attacks, she could do some serious damage. So how do I get my cats to stop being terrorists? | My cats are mean to my gentle, calm pit mix, and she's starting to take it personally. |
t3_2bt4xk | relationships | Me [24F] s/o [23] known each other for 10 years dating for 2+ years. s/o is unhappy and is thinking about breaking up HELP! | Since the day we met my best friend and I have been inseparable, whether we were hanging out or talking on the phone or texting we were always together always laughing always having fun. I don't have many other friends other than this. We have known each other for close to 10years. Over 2 years ago my best friend wanted to try and make things a little more serious. I wasn't sure if it was a good idea. We talked about it a lot and finally we agreed.
Nothing really change between the two of us. We had the added bonus sexual interaction but besides that we were the same we've always been. It has been the happiest two years of my life. I didn't know if was possible to be so content with everything.
Unfortunately my s/o has been depressed due to not being able to find and job. I have been working hard along side him trying to help him look and find things to do. Because both of us are stressed over the situation we have been arguing. This makes everything even worse and it just keeps piling on. Yesterday he told me he was going home and needs to figure out whether this relationship is right for him or not. We spent over 10 hours talking about how he's unhappy and thinks we are arguing too much. The thing is we never used to argue. Now we have a disagreement here and there, I wouldn't even call it arguing half the time and he thinks its the end of the world
My SO left our place to stay with family while he thinks it over. I can't even bare the thought of losing my SO. This was the exact reason i didn't want to date. If we break up I am left with next to nothing. My SO is truly my best friend/my other half but i don't think my SO feels that way anymore. I want to try and fix this but i don't know where to start. I just want him to be happy. | boyfriend wants to break up because he's unhappy in his life. i just want him to be happy even if it means breaking up. Any comments or opinions are appreciated. |
t3_f4cfw | AskReddit | I think I might have some serious anger issues... | This may be the wrong place but...
I'm normally a happy-go-lucky guy. I take as much shit from other people as I suppose the rest of us do. I still maintain a smile. I have old school principles on a lot of things, mostly chivalrous things. I'd help an old lady across the street, I'd open doors for anyone behind me, and often for those heading my way too. I'm the same as any normal guy in most respects.
Turns out though, that even though I maintain my smile, my manner, and my principles (in RL anyway...) there are things that still set me off. I'm not talking about things that make me pull a rage face (ffffuuuu) but little things that people do that make me want to go on a full blown rampage. I get such hateful thoughts, such unbelievable anger, and the images in my mind are things you wouldn't even see in the most hardcore slasher movie. You could definitely say it scares me to think about it, as I'm worried that it could lead me to do something stupid down the line.
I have a good job, I have an awesome girlfriend, I have a fantastic group of friends online and offline, and my family are all (mostly) sound of mind.... My life is generally great, so I don't know where the pent up aggression and hatred comes from. I do know that once the slightest thing sets me off, I'm a different person.
Anyone else here suffer from similar things, or know someone who suffers from this sort of thing? I don't really even know what it is, so if there's any advice on what it could be, what steps I should take, and which professionals I should seek official advice from, maybe I can sort out this issue I have... | Normal happy guy suffering 'Hulk / Jeckyl & Hyde' style anger/mood swings from the littlest thing. Any ideas? |
t3_3cm6vk | tifu | TIFU by probably knocking up a fat chick | So this was back in college about 4-5 years ago.
There was this chick that went to the same college as me, and was from my hometown, and she wasn't skinny. By any means.
She kept hitting me up looking to hangout and get dirty for like weeks, maybe even months. I don't know. So, one night, I'm real drunk and leading her on. All night I kept telling her to go to certain parties that I heard were happening all over campus, though I was just at my buddies house party the whole night. I mean I had her trekking back and fourth across campus like 5 or 6 times that night. I thought it was hilarious.
However, 4am rolls around and I'm feeling a little guilty, and a little horny as the girl I was trying to pick up got too drunk and had to basically be carried home by her friends. So I finally caved when my roommate fell asleep and invited this fatty to my dorm.
Next thing I know we are fucking around on my tiny little twin bed that come standard in like every dorm ever. Obviously, I had to be on top because I didn't quite have a death-by-suffocation/crushing wish that night, and oh man. This girls titties sagged all the way down between her armpits I'm pretty sure. Anyway, she loved the dick. And, I, being the awesomely retarded asshole that I was, never wore a condom, because fuck those things, right?
Busted inside of her and sent her packing.
So this all happened during the spring semester. We come back to school in the fall and it turns out she's like 5-6 months pregnant. Perfectly aligned to when I raw-dogged that slut. Hit her up asking WTF, and she claims that it wasn't mine, but I honestly don't believe her. | Raw-dogged a fatty in college, probably knocked that bitch up, might have a little u/mrv2121 running around right now. |
t3_22nsau | relationships | I [18 M] am wondering if its worth it to continue my relationship with my Girlfriend [17 F] | Well, I am not sure if I should keep this relationship going. My girlfriend is very in love with me and sometimes, I am very in love with her. Other times I wonder if I am wasting my time or not. In the past, I usually stayed away from relationships, but this time it was something different.
I really love her and I couldn't stand seeing her with any other guy. Sometimes I feel like I could get over all of this, and sometimes I feel like I NEED her. I feel trapped and at the same time I feel like I have everything I need. I hate this feeling and I need to get it out of my head. I honestly don't know what to do, and I'm not sure if I want to break it off. I am completely open to any suggestions any of you may have. | Not sure if I want relationship anymore, but can't stand seeing my girl with another guy. I feel fulfilled but at the same time I feel empty. Need Help. |
t3_29nj7t | relationships | I [24M] have a fluctuating interest in dating, should I force myself to do it? | Background: I am introverted and quiet. I used to be shy as a kid but I don't really get any social anxiety anymore. I was a bit of a shut-in during university years and I rarely went out, I even sometimes made excuses to avoid going out with friends and play video games or whatever shut-ins do. A couple years ago I told myself that I would stop making excuses and just force myself to go out with friends and meet new people and do new things, and I think my life has improved a bit because of this change in attitude.
I haven't been in a relationship before, but a few months ago I picked up interest and decided that I would do something about it. I went on a couple dates that went nowhere and set up a half assed OKC account (not even a picture), before I completely lost interest a few weeks back.
This has happened a couple times before, meaning I have a history of of flipfloping over my interest in seeing girls. I'm worried if I don't do anything now I'll screw myself over in the future if I actually decide that I want to have a relationship.
Also this worries me in the reverse as well, what if I get into a relationship then flipflop and lose interest in her, causing both of us great heartache?
I feel it's comparable to finding a job and starting a career. When you first get out of school, even if you don't want to work at the moment you should still try to find a job anyway to get experience and shit, and it'll all be better for you in the long run. We've all had times when we had to force ourselves to continue the job hunt.
Do you guys think I should even bother trying with dating and all that? Because of YOLO and all, I sometimes think that I shouldnt do it because why waste life doing something you don't feel like doing? And yet I've forced myself to socialize in the past and found that it made my life better, so perhaps this applies to dating as well? I still 'force' myself to go out as of the present. | I have a wavering interest in dating and girls but I wonder if forcing myself to do it anyway will make my life better. |
t3_1s6cu9 | Dogtraining | Dogs off leash | Context: My girlfriend brought a 2 year old chow chow, named Yogi , from Ecuador to southern CA. She got the dog while she was in the peace corps so Yogi was raised in a rural green environment with a nearby river and barely used a leash. Now Yogi lives with me and my girlfriend in a townhouse in a very conservative and planned suburb. Orange County has no forests nor rivers and the dog culture here is to keep the dog on a leash unless you're at a dog park.
I've grown quite fond of Yogi so I walk him every morning. He is very friendly towards other dogs, he doesn't bite unless defending himself, the only time he barks is when he hears someone at night outside the front door and it's usually just one to three woofs.
I let Yogi off the leash at a local park every morning around 6:00am. There is no one else in the park at that time. Then I put him back on the leash and walk him home.
Today while walking yogi I let him off the leash on the way home and we came across another dog. It was a young German Shepard on a leash. Yogi ran up to the German Shepard, the German Shepard must have felt threatened because he attacked Yogi. Luckily the owner of the German Shepard was in control of his pet and the German Shepard stopped attacking Yogi. Yogi stayed in a submissive position about 2 feet away from the German Shepard allowing me one or two seconds to catch up to my dog and put the leash back on him.
I'm wondering if there is anyway that I can teach my dog not to run up to other dogs so quickly while off the leash.
Or if I should just give in and put my dog on a leash at all times. | Does anyone have some advice on how to train a dog to be cautious when approaching other dogs off leash? Or should I just give in a keep my dog on a leash at all times. |
t3_ukiv1 | AskReddit | I'm a squirter, anybody know of some way to prevent the mattress from being ruined? (details inside) | I'm a squirter...like, not just a squirter, a super soaker...my friends have even nicknamed me puddles...there has been more than one occasion when the bf had literally asked me where all of it was coming from when I was especially wet.
My boyfriend got his own place a few months ago, and we've been having sex more frequently, especially on his bed. When he was still living with his parents we had to be careful about it, and great sex on a bed was scarce, and when we did have the opportunity, we used a towel or two (of which I'd soak through maybe getting the sheets a bit wet). Now at his house, we'll fuck on his bed at least 5 times a week and grabbing a towel has become obsolete because we don't have to be careful of his little brother (6 years his junior) and parents. Even if I did grab a towel, it'd be soaked through (a combination of better sex and crappy towels) and it's totally inconvenient and non-spontaneous to have to go into another room and grab a towel every time before we start fucking.
This would be fine other than having to sleep in a wet bed occasionally, which sucks so I'll normally coax him into fucking in the morning...but sometimes the bed won't dry by the time we go to bed. The bigger problem here, is that the mattress is starting to smell from just being so damn wet all of the time and never fully drying out.
So fellow redditors, I was wondering if anyone knew of a waterproof mattress pad or something of the sort to stop me from ruining this mattress and all of the mattresses in my future. | do you know of any waterproof mattress pads or have any ingenious ideas to keep a squirter from ruining a mattress?????? |
t3_1a41ti | dating_advice | So I [23/M] like my [30/F] co-worker, but... could do with some advice | So I like this girl at work, but the situation is complicated because she's based in the office in Belgium whereas I work in London. We've met a couple of times in the past but not been able to go out because we'd only be in each others office for the day and have to travel back home that same day.
We work a lot together though, and we talk A LOT on Skype, but rarely over the mic and only during work hours when we're both online. We talk about all kinds of things, not just work. We first met in July last year, we gradually talked about stuff other than work.
We share a lot of the same interests, same music and same outlook on life generally really. I think she's pretty cool and interesting. She's a bit older than I am but that doesn't bother me, I think she's cute.
She says that she's planning on getting a transfer to the London office in Sept when her contract runs out on her place.
Our chats sometimes get kinda flirty, she says she reckons I'm funny and stuff like that. I'm SUPER bad at flirting though, haha.. I've been in a relationship for the past 4 years but we split up last year so I'm new to the game!
Recently I've found myself thinking about her a lot, over the weekend especially when we don't talk. I look forward to chatting with her, it's like the highlight of my day. She's seeing someone at the moment but it seems to be a casual thing, I don't ask about it.
If she was in the same office I'd definitely show that I'm interested in her, just to see what happens.
As it stands though I don't really know what to do.. whether I should say something, ask to meet, just carry on as normal or forget about it all together. Is it even worth saying anything bearing in mind the distance? Maybe I'm misreading the whole situation and she's not interested. What are your thoughts? :) | really like a girl in another office, Skype loads, kinda flirty, think she might be interested, what to do |
t3_3n1opz | relationships | My [20F] boyfriend [20M] recently broke up with me and I need to know if it's okay to invite one of our mutual friends to an event. | We are in college and he is in a fraternity. I hung out there long before we met and started dating (we dated for the last ~6 months, broke up three weeks ago), and I basically always hang out there. I have been there multiple times since we broke up without any issues. I know everyone really well, and to my knowledge they all like me a lot.
I have an upcoming event where I need a date, and I want to invite one of his fraternity brothers, but I don't know if I am overstepping my boundaries. We are still friends and he has no feelings left for me.
Mostly I just want to have a fun night with a friend I actually care about (I will be paying for my date to the event), especially since my female friends that will be there are also all friends with his fraternity brothers. Is it awkward of me to invite one? | Ex broke up with me, still on good terms. We have the same friends but they are his fraternity brothers. Want to invite one to an event that I am paying for. Is it too rude of me? |
t3_2m6wi5 | relationships | I [21m] feel like she's [24f] treating me more like a friend than a boyfriend [2 months]. | A few things straight off the bat: we work together, she has a three-year old child, and this is my first relationship with a girl.
I was perfectly content with being single for 20-some years. I lived life, hung out with friends, and generally enjoyed just being here. My top goal was to get married, but I wasn't dating or anything because I'm extremely shy, especially with women. Anyway, as much as I enjoyed the single life, I hate living it when I'm not single.
These past few weeks I've been making plans to spend some time with her, go on dates, take her out somewhere nice for our two-month anniversary, etc., but she bails on me every single time.
Before this, we did have sex one time, and then she had some personal issues such a family member dying, and she got sick later on. Since that time we had sex, we've only spent one evening together, and she ended up falling asleep on the couch almost immediately.
I've been trying to get her to spend time together again, but every time we make plans, she sleeps through it, and I end up spending the day home alone with nothing to do (since I blew off my friends to be with her).
Now I understand that her child should be her number one priority, but it seems like I'm not in her priorities at all. I feel like I'm just a friend that she has at work that she can talk to on breaks. I hate feeling single when I'm not!
Is this just how it is when you're dating a woman with a young child? I mean, I love spending time with her and her child, but I don't even get to sleep with her because she always falls asleep before I get to her place, and nothing on God's green earth can wake her up. | My girlfriend of two months, who has a child, always sleeps through our plans. Is this how it is dating a mother? |
t3_24qpj0 | relationships | Me [ 18F] with my boyfriend [17 M] of 3 yrs broke up with me a month ago, apparently he's completely gay now | This breakup was completely devastating to me and broke me. for about a week and a half I continued contact with him and acted insane, trying to be "friends" but acted needy and terrible. He then cut me out of his life because I was too stressful.
I have been making some good progress healing I suppose. Haven't looked at his social media or anything, hanging out with friends, etc. However, one of our mutual friends told me that he is now decidedly gay and has been seeing men. (I didn't ask to hear this, he just told me because he's insensitive). He's also mentioned that he sucked some kid's dick while we were together which felt like being stabbed.
Yes, I have always known of my ex's interest in men but he was "bisexual" then. I don't know what I'm even posting for, it just hurts like hell and I feel like shit knowing that there's really no hope at all of him and I ever working out. I love him so incredibly much but he no longer loves me or cares for me at all.
I feel so used and hate the fact that I had to go through this shit just because he couldn't figure out his own sexuality. I'm so resentful but at the same time I'd do anything to have him in my life. | I was recently informed that me previously bisexual ex boyfriend is now gay and going out with men. Every time I think about him with a man I want to vomit from the pain. |
t3_537i0a | dating_advice | Do you ever feel sorry for people who hate themselves? | Especially when guys like me have, gulp, Asperger's syndrome which makes them undateable to the female gender?
I know some people will post: "Stop using autism as an excuse". Yeah genius, you have no clue what having autism is like. Imagine being on a planet you don't belong and being ostracized for being socially awkward, AND AT THE SAME TIME berated for not being normal because of the "not an excuse" bots.
I feel like prostitution should be a good alternative to our solution. I'm not worried if a girl will be turned off by it because I have reason to believe that girls want me in the first place. | I have Asperger's and my attitude is not the problem. It's this freaking disorder I have to be prisoner to for life. Read statistics |
t3_3sl2ve | relationships | I (30F) keep trying to break up with my BF (29M) but it just isn't working. | We've been in a relationship for 2 1/2 years.
I wish I didn't have to break up with him. I thought he was the one. I've spent a lot of time and energy on this relationship. But to save my sanity, I know I have to. I've caught him in a few lies (and I can't tell WHY he's lying, which makes it more suspicious). He can be verbally abusive sometimes. There are certain things I've communicated that I need him to do in our relationship and he agrees but then simply does whatever he wants.
I guess I've stayed this long because I'm in deep with him, I do love him and he allows me a lifestyle I could never afford on my own. But enough is enough.
**But we work together. Same department.** Neither of us can leave. We work ON PROJECTS together. Daily involvement. I've tried a few times to say it's not working out....we are through. Obviously I cannot go no contact. He just kind of acts like nothing is different. Says ok, but then carries on as-is. Asks me to please help look after his daughter while he goes to a dr appointment. Begs me to come for dinner because his mom is there (we can still be friends....please!!!). Tells me he is going to my favourite concert and has a ticket for me too. Gets me alone and holds my hands and cries and says he loves me so so so so so so much, and can I please just kiss him. After we "break up", he is so loving at work and makes all these PDAs so everyone still thinks we are together. He'd normally never do that. He isn't even very affectionate most of the time.
This is exhausting. How do people break up?! | I know I have to break up with my lying, verbally abusive boyfriend, but he doesn't "accept" the breakup and carries on as is. |
t3_3033yo | relationships | Me [25 F] in a non-serious relationship with [34 M], should I demand more attention from him or should I just leave the relationship? | In some sense I felt like I already know the answer but I guess it's good to get some second opinions... I've been seeing this guy on and off for the past couple of months and recently we've settled into a "non-serious relationship". Both of us are leaving where we currently live in fall, and we are definitely moving to different places, so we both understand that it's unlikely that this relationship has long term potential. I think we both really like each other, but the main problem is that he has pretty obvious mood swings. When he's in a good mood, he would ask me out frequently and would want to hang out a lot. But when he's in a bad mood, he would just not initiate communication for a relative long period of time (is a week and a half long?). I understand that it's mostly a mood thing, but part of me felt really exhausted by this pattern (a week of intense interactions followed by weeks of me initiating interactions). While as I do think it's a mood thing because he can be quite active at times, an insecure part of me is not sure if it's because he's not that into me. I'm not sure if I should talk to him about it because the relationship is not supposed to be serious to begin with, and I feel like this is going to make me seem needy, but on the other hand I think it's completely justified. Should I talk about this with him? But then he'll probably just say that it's his mood, and obviously there's nothing I can do about it... Should I just stop trying to contact him? Should I just end the relationship without being explicit about the reason? | I'm exhausted by the erratic pattern of affection/eagerness demonstrated by this guy I'm seeing, what should I do? |
t3_4og0re | personalfinance | So I messed up and got into a 12 month contract. Advice? | So I got a gym membership and I was told that I had till July 1 to cancel to not get charged and I was told I'd have the month of June free. Apparently after the first two weeks I was locked into this contract as the trial was only two weeks. I work at a 7.25 an hour job and work roughly 20 hours and get paid twice a month. I have 207 dollars in monthly payments and I have to pay for my car repairs due to a recent accident which I have no idea if I was at fault for so my insurance might skyrocket. I just need advice and guidance.
Bonus info: it's a 44 a month fee for the gym for 12 months. The only thing the woman told me was that I could freeze my membership for 9.99 a month and that once I'd unfreeze I'd still have to pay the remaining amount. | I'm young. I'm dumb. I'm fucked. And I would appreciate some advice from this community I've been told is very helpful and caring |
t3_3tc1d7 | relationships | My[22M] girlfriend[20F] of two years wants to sleep with another girl. | My girlfriend and I have been together for nearly 2 years. We go to separate universities so technically we are long distance and only see each other once every two weeks to a month. Ever since the beginning of our relationship, the sex has been amazing. We are both very sexual people and are open to trying new things in the bedroom. Naturally the topic of having a threesome has been brought up. We both agreed that the only way we would have a threesome is if we did both 2 girls 1 guy and then 2 guys 1 girl. As much as I want to have a 2 girl 1 guy threesome I know that deep down I could never let another guy have sex with my girlfriend. So we decided that it wouldn't be a good idea. Additionally my girlfriend had a one night stand with 2 girls 1 guy and it didn't appeal to her.
One day, out of the blue, I get a text from her simply stating, "I want to have sex with a girl." Now, at the beginning of our relationship I would totally on board with the idea of my girlfriend having sex with another girl, however my inital reaction was negative. I let my emotions get the best of me and I responded with hostility. To me that is the equivalent of cheating. Having sex is having sex no matter what gender they are. I told her that the only way I would be okay with it is if I was there. She on the other hand doesn't understand why I am mad. She stated that "It's not like I'm having sex with another guy. I thought you would be into that." But I'm not. I still consider it cheating.
I don't know how to react to this situation. I not only feel like her sleeping with another girl is cheating, but now I feel that I am not good enough or that she is getting bored with sex. How should I approach this situation? | My girlfriend of two years wants to have sex with another girl while I'm not there. She doesn't understand why I'm upset because "It's not like I'm fucking another guy." |
t3_1paapa | relationships | My 70 year old mother watches TV and smokes all day - yet she says she's not depressed. Whenever I try to address it, to help her change her bad habits, she jumps down my throat. | I'm a 42 single woman, who has been dealing with my mother's negativity and low grade depression almost my whole life. My parents got divorced almost 30 years ago, but my mother never re-built her life. She never had a lot of friends to begin with, but as she's gotten older they've become few and far between. I'm the youngest of three kids - I have two older brothers who are totally absent and won't address my mother's isolation and depression - we are all single and affected by not only my mother's depression but an emotionally abusive alcoholic father when we were growing up.
It's incredibly painful to witness all of my mother's bad habits growing and defining who she is. She was once a real beauty with interests in books and traveling, and now is an old chain smoking woman who mindlessly watches TV and self medicates herself with wine and vodka. I've been living in Asia for the past few years, have studied Buddhism, and understand now that I have to accept her with love - I cannot change her. But at the same time I have a friend who is a monk who tells me I have to do everything to help her.
But sometimes I don't even think she likes me - when I try and so things with loving kindness she is proud and vicious with me. And even when I do something as small as getting her to take a walk to get her out of the house, it's so difficult to even have small talk with her - she's defensive about everything. She has no joy in her. But it's taking it's toll on me - making me depressed and lethargic, questioning my ability to have a happy family. Her father died 8 months ago and since then her two sisters, who were basically her only friends, "dropped her". I guess they had their issues with her and were fed up. Anyway, I love her and don't want to see her live the rest of her life like this. | My mom watches TV all day, smokes and drinks and has no life. It affects me greatly and I don't know what to do. |
t3_1udn18 | relationships | I am [20 M] considering cutting contact with my ex [20? F], for good. | The relationship has been over for six months, but it seems we're not on the same page.
I offered to stay friends after the break-up (which was not an easy one), but that did not work out as she still had feelings. We had planned to move in together in the fall, but I called that off as well as I thought it would be a hindrance on both of us. She didn't agree with that. At that point, she decided to cut contact by asking me, "Please don't contact me anymore." I honored that.
But we have mutual friends and know the same people. It has gotten to the point it makes everyone uncomfortable. It has been weeks since I have spent time with them. In addition, she has gone through the cycle of deleting me and adding me from her Facebook friends list about three times now. We spoke for the first time in four months a few weeks ago, when she messaged me on Facebook. I tried to be friendly and make small-talk, trying to lighten the conversation. Unfortunately, the conversation ended abruptly and I haven't heard from her since. She deleted me again just recently.
As a result, I am considering taking measures to prevent any and all communication with her, like blocking her on Facebook or ending the friendships with our mutual friends. I think I just need to set it straight. She just can't decide to wander in and out of my life like that. That's disrespectful to me, and it can't be doing her any good.
But, I am still ambivalent. That's where you come in, Reddit. Any and all advice accepted. | Ambivalent (20M) about cutting contact with ex-girlfriend (20F) who doesn't seem to what to do either. |
t3_4pw2j4 | tifu | TIFU by trying to be politically correct | I'd like to preface this by saying that I have matured at lot since this happened so bear with me please... This story took place two and a halfish years ago in my college level physics class (I just graduated from HS so sophomore year?).
So I came into class that day and our derpy teacher gave us our lesson, gave us some homework, and then proceeded to dick off on his computer or something of that nature. I routinely went and sat next to my best friend so that we could finish the assignment quickly. However! It is high school, not military school, so we weren't working the ENTIRE time.
Naturally, we talked about other things that I don't remember at all. Probably the usual memeing and other shenanigans we always discuss. But one thing came up (and please don't ask why it did come up. I have absolutely no fucking clue...) that was... interesting? to say the least. This was about the use of the dreadful "N" word, and why african-americans use it exclusively between themselves, but how (if you haven't guessed) a white person like me can't call a black person the name because its offensive and will result in possible physical injuries.
So in the midst of this discussion, (where I was frequently whispering the word for reasons that will become clear soon) a girl behind me asked me how to do one if the problems. I knew how to do it, but I was too engrossed in my conversation to have any desire to help (like I said in the beginning, I wasn't smart) so I asked the ONLY black person in the room to help her.
But here's the deal, I didn't just say,"hey, can you help her?" Nope, his name starts with an 'N' so I had the worst Freudian Slip and called him the other word that starts with an 'N'... He then proceeded to push me up against the wall and throw a discreet punch or two into my nether regions, and yes, there were tears in my eyes. I learned my lesson, and he and I play smash bros so we're cool. | Had a discussion about the use of the word N***er, but ended up accidentally calling a black friend that name instead of his real name, and hence, came close to losing Snakebit3 jr. |
t3_l1w1i | loseit | [NSV] Blood pressure down to about medicated levels. | First post, so I'm hoping I'm doing this right. I had issues with my weight and blood pressure for the past few years. At 25 my doctor got really concerned that I was already moving in and out of Stage 2 hypertension levels.
I've been doing my own thing with diet and keeping pretty stable while eating healthier but nothing really seemed to help. About two weeks ago, my blood pressure medication was causing bad side effects that were so bad I had to get my doctor's permission to go off them.
I was crushed when I found out that I immediately went back up to Stage 1 Hypertension levels. But, tried my best to keep up with my diet, because I wanted to make sure I didn't make things worse. Even if it wasn't getting better.
About two weeks ago, I stumbled across a couple of posts from here that really motivated me to get out and work out.
I'm still working on a better routine that can incorporate some weight training. But now, I'm focusing mostly on cardio. Checked my blood pressure this morning and I was at 133/91 (Normal High level). This was basically what I was at when I was on my meds. I don't know, I guess I felt so good about that, that I felt like I had to share it with someone. I figured, since you guys were the ones who started to motivate me to begin with, you'd appreciate hearing this. | I had troublingly high blood pressure. Read some posts here that motivated me to work out. Now, in a much better place and hoping to keep getting better. Thanks guys. |
t3_4w0kdu | relationships | Am I [47F] too controlling? I don't want my husband [42M] to hang out with his ex-girlfriend [40F]. | Is it wrong that I don't want my husband to hang out with his ex? She's rude to me, seems to still be in love with him, and collects all of her exes. I really tried being friends with her, but she was rude to me at a party at our house, so I said enough is enough. She's married, but she still hangs all over my husband! We went to a New Year's party at her house, one year, and she had dated literally every guy there. What the heck?
Other facts: for some reason, she knows where one of her exes (who hates her) just bought a house. She lies to my husband occasionally by contacting me first, knowing that I'll be out, then making plans with him, acting like she knew nothing of my plans. She invites me to go to bars and crowded events, knowing that I don't drink, and that I'm an introvert. She stalked my husband and his family so hard on Facebook, that I had to delete my account - she was always the first to like everything they all posted, and she would post old "remember when" photos on his FB page.
My MIL doesn't help the situation, either. The ex will visit her when she's in town (MIL lives out of state). The MIL says that the ex is like a harmless little teenager who wants everyone to like her. Er, ehem.
Anyway, there's more, but that's a lot for now, haha! Thoughts? Trust me, I feel that my husband should have dealt with this a looonnng time ago, but he's a sweet guy, and I don't really think he's trying to hurt my feelings, but it does. | Am I a controlling wife if I don't want my husband to hang out with his ex-girlfriend, who seems to really have no interest in "us" beyond "him"? |
t3_3aifyf | relationships | Why do I [M23] get sad when I don't get physical intimacy from my reserved gf [F22] | We've been together 4 months. She's an awesome girl, beautiful smart and very mature.
As background, I've had 3 partners before her and I am her first boyfriend. She's a virgin and is quite reserved (muslim family). I'm fine with this as she has many other qualities I value.
However, it is Ramadan right now and she said she isn't allowed to kiss me or do anything that excites her (ie. be intimate) . I respect this but I'm wondering why I get so bummed out by it?
Am I just a sex focussed maniac? Is it normal to be sad when you can't show affection through physical intimacy? I'm trying to figure out why I get so mopey when hanging out with her and she doesn't let me kiss her (even though we we're having a great time together moments prior). | Help me figure out my need for this physical affection. How can I explain it to her without seeming like all I want are sexual acts like a horny maniac. |
t3_4a3n3y | dating_advice | How do I go slow? | Me (34 f), him 33 (m). We met on Tinder and have had 2 dates.
First date was fun...food and coffee...he brought me a flower.
Second date was food and movie at his place.
I really like him, feel attracted to him and feel this could turn into something great. However, I'm use to things going faster and the guy telling me he likes me or showing signs of that nature. He seems to stay in a flirty neutral ground most of the time. Texting is light to heavy at times, with periods of nothing.
I'm scared that if I advance too fast on him, he will run off. I'm so just don't know how to take it slow anymore. Previous dating episode, my ex was faster and more forward. Also, it's hard to invest time and energy into someone and not know how it will turn out. I also wonder if he really likes me or that our random tinder match isn't something he's looking for.
Would love ideas or tips on how to move forward or how to feel less anxious about him.
Note: I don't think he's had a relationship in a long while, where I'm fresh from a recent relationship. | new guy is going slow...I want confirmation he likes me...and not use to taking it slow. Need tips. |
t3_2yacw2 | relationships | [22M] Agreed to a blind date with a female [24F] to a ball that was set up by a mutual friend and his wife. How to make it a fun weekend for her? | So, work has been busy as hell the last 18 months and I haven't had the energy or time to invest in a relationship minus a random bar encounter. Work is having a ball where we all go in uniform and wives, girl friends etc come and we drink and eat and drink for a while.
My buddy and his wife are convinced that Jane (F24) would be a perfect match for me. We're in California and Jane is in North Carolina. She recently graduated college and has some extra time. The buddy's wife asked her if she'd like to come out to visit, simultaneously while getting to check out a military ball. Jane is also looking for somewhere to move, so she agreed to come check everything out.
They also went ahead and rented a cabin for the weekend, where I insisted it be 3 bedrooms, as to avoid any weird pressures where it'd be just 2 rooms.
Now that the explanations are done, I'm wondering how to make this fun/not awkward for her. We haven't talked to each other yet, but the wife has been telling her all sorts of things and showing her my Facebook and shit, and Jane is excited about the whole thing. How can I make a blind date that's going to happen in front all my peers less awkward and generally make the weekend fun for her? | Been out of dating for a while, have a date to a ball that is coming from out of state and I need to know how to make everything enjoyable for her. |
t3_28vioh | personalfinance | Can I avoid capital gains by gifting stock to my fiance? | I've been accumulating ESPP shares for about five years and made some considerable gains. I don't have any immediate need to sell them, but I know i'll eventually have to (and I'm getting pretty undiversified by keeping so much). When I do sell them, I'll owe regular tax on the ESPP discount amount (15% discount) as well as capital gains (they made between 30%-60%). I make around $100k/yr, so my marginal tax is 28% with 15% capital gains. That's a lot going to the IRS.
Now, my girlfriend, on the other hand, is a grad student and will make around $10k this year (negative income if accounting for tuition). She'll graduate at the end of the year and we're planning to get married the following summer. If she had stock to sell, she would have 0% capital gains rate and a much lower tax bracket. You can see where I'm going with this...
Since the gift tax is waived for the first $1Million (and doesn't need to be reported under $13k), I was considering gifting her some of my stock. I would avoid tax due to gifting, she would pay much lower tax on the sale due to her current income level. Next year, when we get married, we would be perhaps 30% better off from a tax stand point. In the meantime it could be sitting in an index fund or something, continuing to accumulate (but now with a much better cost basis).
So, I'd like to ask /r/personalfinance, is there a problem here? Is this a valid "loophole"? Is this tax fraud? What am I not taking into account?
Also, any difference in doing this with ESPP shares as opposed to options? RSUs? I have a lot of different securities I'm sitting on. Any reason to go in under $13k tax reporting limit? | I'm in a high tax bracket, my fiancee isnt. If I gift her my stock in 2014 and she sells it, then we get married in 2015, do we save thousands in taxes? |
t3_2ew2o7 | relationships | I [M21] met this girl [?F] at school today that i can't stop thinking about, but killing myself over making an awkard first impression | Ok so I met this attractive, interesting girl today and we literally just met. it was a small conversation where we exchanged names and stuff and somehow we started talking about football (soccer, she's from outside US). she said she & her family supports Liverpool FC (a big English club) and I told her I support Arsenal FC (another big English club)
Normally when I talk about football I start trash talking (aka banter) and after this part I just instinctively started joking "aw I hate Liverpool" and I think she thinks I was being serious. But at that moment I was so dumbfounded I would actually trash talk like that to a girl i never met before. my fight or flight kicked in and since i was on my way back to class, I calmly ended the discussion and said the "nice to meet you" stuff and left.
i am kicking myself so much right now on how much of a bad impression I think i made. i usually am great at making awesome first impressions so to make a blunder like this is not normal at all.
since we are in the same class i will see her again next week and i already thought of a really interesting way to ask her out despite this misstep, but i cant believe i would do something stupid like that. i think im infatuated (ok maybe not infatuated but she is really interesting) with this girl and to me first impressions are EVERYTHING | Instinctively started playful trash talking with this awesome girl i met when we got to the topic of sports and it made for a really awkward moment for me, can't stop thinking about all the better things i could have said. |
t3_504505 | relationships | Me [34 M] with my new "match" [30 F] , I was leaving to go travel, just met, we like each other, now what..? | I've been traveling all around the world, been single for 4 years. Was engaged 4 years ago to a girl from my town, I was going to leave to go to the west coast, but I stayed for her, it was a crazy relationship, I learned a lot, but it didn't work out.
Now I'm back, was going to leave to go to Europe in a week, I meet a girl again (same day my ex got married, go figure) now I'm like, here we go again..wtf..do I stay and see if there's anything there or do I continue on my plans...? | Why is the universe fucking with me haha, plans to leave my home town, where I don't really want to stay, but have met a girl who's making me reconsider for now..what to do? |
t3_45jc1f | relationships | (23m) My girlfriend (20f) has been out of a job for a couple months. Today is probably the most I've been disappointed in her. | So basically my girlfriend quit her job one day because she was sick of management, sick of customers, and just not happy. No problem there, she did it at the best possible time. She had just gotten her tax return, financial aid, and her mom paid her the $700 she owed her.
Every once in a while she will hang out with one of her friends. And usually when they do, they smoke weed. I've got no problem with that. Sometimes I will partake as well.
After she quit her job, she told me she was going to be on the job hunt constantly. Basically the only thing we need before we move out together is for her to have a steady paying job. And I told her that most places nowadays will drug test before hiring someone.
She had just smoked with her friend about a day or two earlier, so she said she would wait a little bit so that the drugs could leave her system. Fair enough.
A couple months have passed since then, and I haven't seen her looking for a job. She's spent the night at her friends house several times since then. And she's been good about not smoking.
Then tonight I go to pick her up after I got off work, and I can tell immediately that she's high. She kind of just laughed it off when I confronted her about it, and I just went silent. We didn't say another word to each other on the way to my place. And now she's passed out asleep on the bed.
I'm just really disappointed that she couldn't wait until after she had gotten a job. I'd feel even a little better if she's been looking. And now she has to wait even longer in order to get a job.
I'm just gonna cool off and try to talk to her about it in the morning. Any advice on how I can bring it up to her without sounding like I'm trying to control her? | My girlfriend hasn't been looking for a job and then she smoked and won't be able to pass a drug test anytime soon. How do I talk to her about it? |
t3_1v8fe1 | dating_advice | girl stopped responding mid conversation | so i met this girl over the weekend and started texting her. things were going ok (she was responding enthusiastically with smileys, etc.) then during the process of making plans she just stopped replying to my texts.
we were setting something up for later that day and when I tried to confirm the time and place she just never responded.
my theory - just before i asked to confirm our plans she asked to be facebook friends and i sent her a request. I think she didn't remember how i looked from when we first met (we were both kinda drunk) and she was wasn't impressed by my profile pics so she just dropped me.
any opinions? during our conversation I could tell she was trying to run game on me bc she would take HOURS or even a whole day to respond to my texts just to keep me on the hook. So i'm wondering if she does text me back tmrw or the day after should i just forget about her? I'm not trying to give the impression that I'm waiting for her with bated breath | Girl is taking forever to respond to texts, possibly dropped me bc of how I look. But always responds enthusiastically. If she does contact me again, should i just drop her or reciprocate the long interim between responses? |
t3_zya6p | dating_advice | I'm new at work, about 4 weeks, and everyone keeps saying a beautiful woman and friend there (34) is into me. I (M35) at first thought they were just jokes from coworkers but it seems more real. How do I convince myself to ask her/ask her out? | I started working at this place about 4 weeks ago | I'm new at work and coworker of 4 weeks seems to be into me. She's way out of my league. Should I work up the nerve to ask if we can take our friendship further? |
t3_29xif0 | dating_advice | Perfect until it's done 23/m with 19/f | Hey Reddit, i need to know if I'm overthinking this or if I should make some sort of advance? Started talking with this beautiful female, in person she is extremely interested and keeps sending me all these signs of interest. So we start texting and it seems like she loses interest (stops replying randomly and minimal amount of contribution) I immediately set up a date so she can keep interest.. immediately we are making a lot of contact (holding hands, hands on her legs etc.) we go for pizza, we go back to my place, watch a movie, we have sex, we shower together, we sleep, i make her breakfast, go for a walk, chill for a couple hours and she leaves when she has to take care of a deadline errand. It was all cute, funny and relaxed, and seemed like it was going to work out smoothly. So that day ended, we texted fluidly until I went to work at night and told her to text me when I can give her a call... no reply. Next afternoon, i snapchat her and we snapchat a few times before i start texting her. boom dies off again, she's then replying every 2 hours or so.. Doesn't reply after 7pm at all. So today I called her in the morning left a voicemail just saying i missed her voice, call me later.. nothing. Text her and we are texting solid for about an hour and it falls out again, no reply for 3 hours... so thats where I'm at now, confused. I havent called her out on the late replies or anything, just casually roll with it. Am I over reacting and over thinking over this? | she seems so interested but doesnt reply too often or timely, and in person it's as if we are a cute couple already. Am I looking too deeply into texts efforts? |
t3_whm7c | relationships | I have never had many friends, found someone that I would like to be friends with, but having a hard time doing it, any advice? | Me, my girlfriend, and the friend are all 20 and work at the same minimum wage job while we are going to school.
Me and my girlfriend have been going out since before we got this job, my girlfriend is extremely outgoing and bubbly, where as I am shy, and have anxiety.
I have never had many friends, and the couple I do or have had where either introduced to me through my girlfriend, or the other person was willing to put a lot of effort to get to know me on their part in high school.
Me and my girlfriend have known this guy at work for 2 years, and we have always got along great, we (me, my girlfriend, and the friend) were acquaintances for a while, but recently we have all been hanging out quite a bit (about the last 6 months) outside of work now that its summer, and have started to become good friends.
Me and the friend have started to get to know each other, my girlfriend says we should become better friends since we both have similar interests and are both very shy, not many friends, etc.
I have been trying to talk to this friend without my girlfriend there, but I find because we are both shy, I have to put a lot of effort into talking to them and I get discouraged and don't know what else to do when I feel like I am not progressing into becoming better friends with them.
Sometimes I feel like the other person is trying to talk to me more too and also trying to become better friends, but because they are shy its hard for them, and because I am shy its hard for me. But sometimes I feel like I might just be making it up, and they are just not wanting to be better friends.
Anyone have any tips on how me as a shy person can become friends with another shy person? | I am shy, the person I'm trying to be friends with is shy, and I am finding it hard to get to know them better, any tips? |
t3_2r4qd7 | relationships | Me [30/M] with my _friend with benefits __ [30/F] Should I apologize to a friend with benefits for expecting sex | I have a friend that I occasionally have sex with. this has been going of for several years.about a year ago I started expecting sex every time we would hang out and I feel like it put a strain on are friendship.she has never mentioned she feels annoyed by it but I sometimes feel my frustration is apparent if we do not have sex and causes tension between us. and I just want to go back to just being friends with out the expectation of sex.
should I apologize and tell her i have put a stipulation of sex on are friendship and i regret it I value her friendship more then having sex with her and i do not want to lose that or should i not not bring it up and slowly try to change the way i react to our interactions and not expect sex. even though we never have talked about it I feel like i can not be involved in just casually hanging out with her i am starting to feel more excluded from our group of friends. | started expecting sex from friend with benefits and i feel like its put a strain on our friendship should i bring it up and apologize or do not mention it and change the way in interact with her |
t3_24vs04 | Dogtraining | Dog has no problem pooping in her crate. | Hello.
So, my 4 m/o Siberian husky has no problem pooping in her crate when she is alone. I keep her on a pretty consistent schedule in the morning where she always poops outside after breakfast with at least 40 mins of exercise. When I leave for work, it will be no longer than an hour before my roommates wake up to find that she has pooped again in her crate and smeared it all over the place since I keep the area small.
I'm pretty sure it is separation anxiety since it is usually coupled with lots of howling and I am trying to work on that. She is not afraid of her crate since she will sleep in there all night with no commotion and will nap in there during the day. She also gets all of her meals in there and I try to do as much training in there as possible.
I was under the impression that dogs, and especially huskies, do not like to mess up their sleeping/eating area unless it is their last resort and they can not hold it any longer. My husky seems to have no hesitation to just go ahead and poop in there. This happens about 80% of the time if she is alone for more than an hour and I am at my whit's end. What else can I do to prevent this!?! Any advice is appreciated. | 4 m/o Husky will poop in crate 80% of the time if I am gone for more than an hour. Need advice! |
t3_hrwgt | jobs | Pro-tip: Learn JavaScript. 175 calls in three days when I posted my resume. | I'm not bragging, the whole process was very stressful, but when I posted my resume on monster and dice, the calls and emails absolutely poured in. Surprisingly, they were well qualified to my position as well, with maybe 10% obviously looking for a Java or PHP guy (to be fair, both are on my resume). Also, having 11 calls in the first half hour of the interview for the position I took helps a lot with negotiating.
I was even able to score a corp to corp gig, at a great rate, which means I can pay more teachers at my startup school. | If you know how to program and need a job, learn JS really well and the world will beat a path to your door. |
t3_3tw88w | relationships | Me [33 M] with my gf [36 F] of 4+ months, real swingy in how she acts | Met a lady over the summer who trips my triggers, and we started seeing one another. She's very career-oriented, and has done a lot to work on that, which has left her little time to pursue other interests, like dating. Things are still new, and we're both busy people - it's hard to just have each others' worlds align.
Right, so fast forward to nowadays. I told her I had an all-weekend event, and invited her to check out the beginning and the end. She mentions she wants to see it, but also wants to hang out with me afterward. Problem is, I have a buddy crashing at my place all weekend, no can do.
She shows on Friday, has a blast, comes back Saturday even, enjoys herself, shows up Sunday to see the finale. Spends a lot of time talking to others, and between Friday, Saturday and Sunday - talks to me maybe a total of 15 minutes after attending probably close to 6 to 8 hours of event! We're talking hours with others. I asked her on Friday what her weekend plans were otherwise, and she's real dodgy. I asked if she was free Sunday evening after everything was over, or maybe Monday night - and she's like "Oh, I'm keeping those open, nobody's asked me yet." I point out that I'm asking, and she's defensive - "Ah, ok, I get you - I'm just not sure yet." I pointed out that was weird, and left it at that.
Now - I don't think she's 'getting revenge' for not being free Friday - but she's done this over and over again in public. She seems more interested in others than me, even completely new people. PDA's are hit or miss - one moment she wants them, next she wants nothing to do with me. I've had to ask her for a hug or a kiss before, or to walk her to her car - and then, next day she'll be on my arm, holding my hand all smiles.
Is she just playing games? Maybe she's just not that interested? I can't figure this shit out and it's frustrating as all hell! | Lady acts hot on me moment, real cold the next. Not flirting with other guys kind of thing, more just cold indifference to me. |
t3_394smg | Advice | Letting homeless guy crash on my couch | So, this guy shows up at my house this morning at 8:45 am asking if he can do some odd jobs (wash cars, etc.) in order to make $25 he needs for some court costs or some other bullshit.
Reading context clues, it's clear pretty early on that he is A) homeless and B) has a drug / alcohol problem. I oblige this morning and pay him $25 to do a haphazard wash job because he keeps insisting on working for the money. Afterwards, I drive him to a local bus station and I think that's the end of it.
Tonight, however, after feeling like a lonely dick and traversing a few local bars, I come home to, much to my surprise, this guy sleeping on my front porch. My phone had died early in the night, but he tells me all about meeting my little brother (one of three of my roommates) and how my brother didn't know him / trust him and made him wait outside.
I said ok, I took him to whataburger because he looks skinny as fuck, and then I also let him crash on our couch. I'm kind of worried, though, because I know that drug addiction can lead to all sorts of terrible consequences, but I also think that the guy has a decent heart, and I'd like to help him out.
What should I do? Am I being really naive here? This is uncharted territory. | homeless guy with possible drug addiction is sleeping on my couch. I'm anxious about the consequences, but I want to help him out. What do I do? |
t3_1mgsjm | relationships | I [22M] need some serious help on where to take a first date [20F] that I am seriously into. Any help is appreciated! | Little backstory, I met her at work almost a year ago, yet haven't done anything with her outside of working together.
Turns out that we go to the same college but busy schedules kept us apart. She starts dropping hints every time I see her, but of course I am an oblivious idiot.
She must have understood my oblivious idiot syndrome because she eventually asked me out to dinner. Here is the thing, dinner is boooring, and I would like to sort of wow her on the first date because she is a keeper.
I was thinking about getting reservations at a nice Japanese resturant that will put on a personal show and cook the food right in front of you. Disclaimer: let's just say the average dinner there costs a few hundred McDoubles.
My question: Is this too over the top for a first date? Will she think I am just trying too hard? Or should I just go for gold because I think she's worth it. Any alternative suggestions are welcome. | [22M] and [20F] are into each other, but are both crippled by college aged budgets. Is expensive restaurant too over the top? |
t3_2el990 | relationships | I (M, 25) broke up with my awesome girlfriend (F, 24) because of suspected potential infidelity... May have been wrong. | I've been dating my girlfriend for two years, she's great. Our only issue, which has come multiple times via fights throughout our relationship, is that she slept around a lot in college. This issue is magnified as she went to college with many members of our friend group, a college that I didn't attend.
Going into the relationship, I've heard stories from my friends about her (two guys in one day, getting back at guys by sleeping with their friends) but we clicked really well. And college was over, figured there was a chance that she changed. However, the thought of her past was always in the back of my head.
Because of this information, I've been very quick to jump the gun when she flirts with any guys, whether a co-worker or out at a bar. Our bickering about her flirtatious attitude really escalated this past friday night when I saw her drunkenly texting a guy she used to hook up with in college. A guy who recently moved back to our small town and was on the fringe of our friend group.
I saw the texts and they seemed too flirty for my liking. I just didn't want the fear in the back of my head of this being anything. I snapped and broke up with her the next day.
She was devastated. Crying. Explaining how she was a great girlfriend, had never cheated on me, and had never come close. She explained the full context of the flirty texts and if her story was true (it does match up), then maybe I truly overlooked it. I tried to apologize, but the damage was done, we were over.
Now, we're broken up. I'm miserable. I loved her, she was the best. And she's going to a beach house with this guy from the texts and another part of our group of friends next weekend. What do you guys think? Should I try to apologize and get back with her, and if so, what would I say? Or is it better to get out now, other fish in the sea. | Broke up with my awesome, but formerly slutty girlfriend because of a text that I maybe misread. Now lost. |
t3_33b6qr | relationships | My [19F] boyfriend [20M] of 5 years is moving away in a month and I want to know how to help. | My boyfriend and I have been together since we were 15 years old and have lived about 10 minutes apart for the entirety of the relationship, both living with our parents. Today, he was offered, and accepted a job that will require him to move 2 hours away from me.
Seeing as both of us live with our parents, we really don't have anything we need to live on our own. I want to help him with some things but I am completely clueless as what to buy him to help get him started. What would you get your SO if they were moving out for the first time?
Some advice on semi long distance relationships would also be appreciated! I've never experienced this. | boyfriend is moving 2 hours away and has never lived on his own, what household items can I get him to help start him off? |
t3_11b9os | BreakUps | My long term girlfriend (26) of 8 months left me (25) to be someone she hardly knows. She's the one for me despite it all. What do I do? | I've been dating a wonderful girl for the last 8 months and thought things were going great; she made me happy, feel alive for the first time in many years, and I couldn't go through my day without thinking of her. She made my heart skip a beat. In July/August, I started to slip into a bit of a depressive funk; I was stressing over bills (rent was bumped up 10% out of the blue), frustrated with my ongoing divorce (can't afford legal help or aid, so I didn't know where to begin), my job (already not great) became significantly worse due to management, and I was forced to sell my truck. I have clinical depression, but didn't require meds for the longest time (thought I was over it).
In July, she went to a friend's wedding and met someone. She had, what I think, is an emotional affair with this person because I wasn't wholly "there". Last month, she broke it off with me because her feelings weren't the same as mine; I was bed ridden for a month. Last Saturday, she texted to say she was going to move out to the other side of the province to be with this guy she had just met because "I'm head over heals in love with him." Reddit, I poured my heart out to her. I want to earn her love back, to show her that I can and will do anything and everything to call her mine again. She said she never loved me (wanted to but couldn't), but I can't tell if she's trying to drive me away or not. This is someone I was going to propose to next spring. It's heartbreaking to feel so powerless right now. | The woman I wanted to engage cut and run to be with someone she barely knows. I love her with all that I am, but don't know if I should try to earn her back or just let it go. |
t3_2cfwsb | relationships | My [24F] boyfriend [23M] for 3 years, acting cold and it's tearing me apart | I met my SO online gaming. We pretty much fell for each other the first time we met in real life. He lived in another city far from my hometown, started dating long distance. After about 6 months of dating I moved in with him. Two years ago we moved to a bigger apartment. Got a dog together. Life was good.
And it has been good until two months ago he started acting weird. For the past two months he's been really cold, not talking much, no affection towards me, no sex. He has always had some anxiety issues, but I've seen so much progress since I first met him.
Today I tried to talk to him about what's going on. He really couldn't tell, he kept saying that he just feels annoyed by everything. I told him that the way he acts really hurts me 'cause I need the affection. I don't even feel like he loves me anymore. Now that I think of it, I can't even remember the last time he told me he loved me.
Anyway. After we had this little talk (mostly me talking tho, he didn't say much) I just felt so bad I cried. He didn't comfort me, instead he said he's going out with his friend and just left. Now I'm home alone and wondering what to do. I feel like I can't be in a relationship with him anymore, 'cause the love right now feels so onesided. On the other hand I do love him and want to support him overcoming his anxiety issues. I just don't know how to get past this selfish feeling of wanting some love and caring in return too. | Boyfriend has some sort of anxiety issues. He acts coldly towards me, doesn't give any affection. I don't feel loved anymore. What to do? |
t3_22p6x8 | relationships | Me 24M every time I meet someone I really like I get overly excited? | I've been single nearly a year now, and quite frankly, I'm sort of just ready to meet someone I really like. Being happy alone and all that stuff is fun, and I honestly do it: I have constructive hobbies (I play some sports, volunteer, and have a good work life). But it still doesn't mean that I don't want a relationship with someone who really "gets" me.
The thing is that every time I meet someone I like I feel like I get overly invested in it. I know that desperation is a huge turn off, and that in some ways that probably projects into creating bad terms for my potential relationships: but I'm not used to having to play it so cool. In all of my past relationships I've been used to having someone who was really into me (rather than just being "meh, I guess maybe I'll go out with you," and me having to reciprocate a feigned disinterest) and wanted to set up dates.
Instead, whenever I meet people now (probably once or twice a month) and things fall through, I feel like I get sort of depressed about it for a day or two. After that I remind myself that there's no point in letting your happiness hinge on things you can't take action upon, and I am happy by myself again. But I also know that it's bad to be in a cycle where every time I meet someone I really like I feel like I'm hoping they will like me.
I know that it would be bad to let this carry over into my interactions with them, and I try not to let that happen (e.g., I never text people multiple times, never get upset or passive aggressive with people that reject me, and always try to treat things with levity). But at the same time, after getting rejected a whole lot over the past year, it's hard to keep your self esteem up and feel that the next person won't just reject you again. | After having been rejected a lot I now feel anxious whenever I meet someone new because I want to work out (and statistically, it hasn't), which I feel unduly affects my mood. |
t3_2pryni | relationship_advice | [24F] Have a boyfriend [28M] but I am finding it very hard to let go of my crush on my friend [23F]. I need some advice please! | Background story: I met my boyfriend [28M] a few months ago and we slept together a few times. He lives far away so we kept skyping every day and things were going very well. Before things got officially serious, I went to visit a longstanding friend [23F] who I had always had a crush on for a few days and we slept together.
I then went back to where I live permanently and my now boyfriend kept coming to visit etc and our relationship grew stronger.
Fastforward to the summer, I went back home and saw my friend and realised that I still had very strong feelings for her. We ended up sleeping together again and decided that this could not continue as I do not feel like I can ask my boyfriend to have an open relationship. We are longdistance and I know that we could not put the effort into communicating as well as we would need to to have a truly honest and open relationship being so far away.
However, I cannot let go! I talk to her all the time and I really really like her. We tried not talking for months but only made my infatuation worse as I could not stop thinking about how much I wanted to be with her, talk to her etc. We are now trying to develop a 'normal' friendship but I am truly struggling.
I know that being just with her is not an option as I love my boyfriend as well and she is too far away and does not want a relationship anyway (or so she says), but he does not want an open relationship either and, as I said, I do not think it could work. In addition, it is hard for me to feel bad about my feeligns for her as they both represent very different things in my live, they have different personalities and I get very different things from talking and sharing things with both of them.
Anyone else who has been in love with two people at the same time can advice?? I need to let go of this before it drives me crazy or destroys my relationship but I feel like I have tried everything and cannot work it out... | I am in a relationship with a man who I love but I think I might also be in love with one of my female friends. They are both far a way from me and I cannot let go. |
t3_2wslhn | relationship_advice | I am [21/f] who can't stop obsessing over boyfriend's (21) ex [22/f] | My boyfriend and I are doing quite well His previous relationship was actually very emotionally abusive and ugly. I helped him through it and later got him to get out of since we were really good friends and he would come to me for advise. We started dating a few months after the breakup. He has since cut all ties with her and has moved on very well.
But I still keep obsessing over everything she does. I used to keep tabs on her back when they were dating to check if she was cheating or not(she was) and I never stopped doing it. I check out where she goes, what she wears, how she talks, what she is interested in, heck if anyone has the slightest relation with her I stalk the shit out of them. One of the biggest issues if that since he used to tell me so much back when we were friends, the information about all the things they did together is still with me and I cannot stop thinking about it(like how she is perfect, which she isn't by far but I still remember him saying it). This is also partly due to the fact that I am insomniac and all these unnecessary things keep coming back at night.
I even make myself very upset sometimes and cause unnecessary problems with my bf, which is completely unfair on him. I ask him questions he doesn't want to answer because it brings up painful memories for him. I refuse to play games with him because I am not as good as her and don't talk to his friends because I am not as funny as her. Even though I know she is a shitty human being I still cannot stop being jealous of her.
But I don't know how to just let her go. I am ruining myself over it. Please I really need some advise here. | my bf used to confide in me about his ex before we dated and now I cannot get it out of my head and I stalk her way too much. |
t3_35fbq2 | relationships | I [22F] found my Boyfriend [27M] flirting in text another girl. | Alright so my boyfriend and i have been together for about 6 months. This have been going really well. But last night i was at his house and opened his computer. His Imessage app was open with a conversation sitting there. I am never one to snoop and read my SOs text messages but this one was just sitting there and was hard to ignore. My boyfriend had initiated the conversation with a girl and asked her if she wanted to get lunch. The girl agreed and asked if "all he wanted was lunch ;)"... I was upset by this but didn't say anything.
This morning when we woke up my phone was dead and i asked to use his ipad. He agreed but appeared to be going through the setting before he handed it to me. Come to find out the messageing was disable on it.
a little later he was on his lap top and then set it down next to me when he left the room to take a shower. I didn't go through this texts but the preview message was up on the screen that said something about "you'll see tonight =P"... i couldnt tell if he send that one or the girl did. As im getting ready to leave his house he tells me he probably is going out with his guy friend tonight but will let me know if he can come over...but the girl he was texting definitely was not the friend he mentioned.
so now I don't know how to bring this up to him. we have never had a fight or anything before. I also don't want him to think i was reading through his text messages... which i guess i kind of was doing, but only because it was up on the screen... what should i do??? I don't want to break up with him but this makes me think i probably should.
My last BF cheated on me too and at this point im just starting to think that its my fault... like what the fuck. | Saw my boyfriends texts with a girl setting up a date (and probably more). How do i bring this up to him without it seeming like i read his texts?? |
t3_34gt2y | relationships | My [30 F] husband [34 M] of less than a year (together 7 yrs total) seems to refuse to get a job | In 2010, my then-fiance and I moved across the country to help out his mom. Getting work was tough, and what work he did get ended with his getting laid off in 2012. I found work in retail, finished my master's degree, and am still stuck in retail while looking for a career job. He hasn't even interviewed for a job since getting laid off.
At first it was a wrist injury and lack of insurance (now added several other supposed injuries). Then it was not wanting to do certain jobs (some of which I understand, some of which I don't). Then it was the idea that I would get a career job and we would be moving anyway. Not really happening it seems.
We got married, I figured that would jumpstart the wanting to get back to work. He talked about it for five minutes... never seemed to look for a job and dismissed all the ones I found for him. It's been almost a year and still nothing. He has such an high standard for jobs he is willing to do that he has placed himself out of all jobs he can realistically get, and I am getting tired of it. From what I can tell, he wants to be an editor, and anything that isn't that, he won't look at (note he has no degree in editing or professional experience, but he is amazingly good at it). I am at my wits end and tired of doing all the work. What can I do to get him to realize that he needs to swallow his pride? I can't just threaten to leave, he will call that bluff and I am not really ready to actually do it. | Husband seemingly refuses to consider jobs he can actually get. How do I get him to swallow his pride and get a damn job without threatening divorce? |
t3_52cg8r | relationships | Me [22 F] was waiting to tell my condolences to my mother [51 F], about her father passing on this day years ago. I wanted to talk to her at the end of the night, she is now upset that I "forgot". | My papa passed away on this day years ago. I wanted to tell my mother that I am sorry for her loss as I do every year. I wanted to wait until I had the right moment. I was going to at the end of the night as we would be alone. My sister runs into my room and says that my mother is mad about me forgetting about it. I go to talk to her and explain. Saying that I was waiting until the right moment and she told " I'd rather have you tell me the truth than lie to me." When I told her I wasn't she just said "ok." and went upstairs. | Mom is upset because she thinks I forgot the day her father passed away. How do I handle this situation without seeming like I am trying to save my own skin? |
t3_2wsaz9 | relationships | Me [17 M] Told my female "special friend" [17 F] Not to contact me again 4 weeks ago and I do not know if i should contact her. | A bit of fast backstory i guess.
We had a thing going on the first 2 weeks after we met with some kissing and lots of flirting, decided to knock it off because we were both having a lot of problems but kept contact. She started acting worse and worse towards me, didnt do much about it untill my parents got divorced and uncle died and i needed her to be there and she couldnt but kept acting badly.
I was then at a party where she accidently (Very bad wording from her part) Said i was nothing more than a one night stand to her (She has said multiple times before that and after that i am very important to her) we decided to have a talk about it in person where she began to cry because she knew she had fuckd it up and not me, told her i would get over it at some point but i just needed space (She told me here she couldnt see us EVER being more than friends, yet she gave signals for a kiss when we said goodbye) then a few days later with almost no communication she writes to me and tells me I apparently have trashtalked her to one of her female friends saying she is a slut etc, Thing is I do not know this person BUT I should be able to guess whom it is. The only reason im thinking about taking contact is because i wanna know if she misses me and feels bad about her behavior, im just a bit afraid she will say no or I will not be able to be as "cold" as i am now. | unsure if I should contact a Female friend after I told her never to contact me, its been 4 weeks but not knowing if any of the nice things she said was try is frustrating for somereason. |
t3_18lav5 | AskReddit | Managers of reddit, what do you think of my idea about a dog area in the facility? | Last year if I remember well, McGill university brought some dogs to the campus when the students were facing high levels of stress during exams. The dogs helped the students to relax and decrease stress levels.
I'm wondering if in a manufacturing environment or other related working environment where dogs or animals in general don't pose any threat (by threat I mean places where having everything clean is crucial) it would be a good idea to designate an area where the employees could bring their dogs so they can play together and also the employee could take some break to go and pet the dogs in order to decrease stress levels and feel better overall. I think that could bring a lot of happiness to the company meaning better results and performance overall. Also, who wouldn't like to have his/her dog close and seeing it happy playing with other dogs?
There would be some logistic things to resolve but I think it is not a bad idea after all. What do you think? Would you fire me if I propose this in a meeting? | I'm proposing the idea to bring your own dog to your work so it can play with other dogs in a designated area and you can go and pet him when feeling stressed. |
t3_2ha5pe | relationships | Me [23 M] with my friend's ex-girlfriend [23 F] freaked out when I set boundaries about sleeping in the same bed (yeah wut?) - still at my house, need help for damage control | Short and sweet:
- Friend of mine, happens to be a guy friend's ex-girlfriend of many years, nasty breakup
- Is at my house visiting others, comes into my room due to "can't sleep" and climbs into my bed
- Is drunk
- Proceeds to pour heart out about depression, breakup with ex, alienation from friends, tons of rough shit
- Of course I comfort her, it's pretty bad, we talk for some time
- But, is drunk, is lying all over me, I'm just wearing boxers, did not expect any of this shit to go down, and it's basically just way too close for comfort, all the time
- She wants to sleep, I mention that I don't feel 100% comfortable sharing my (single) bed and we can make a plan
This is where the shit gets crazy. She jumps out of my bed looking at me disgusted saying "what?? you don't like me??!" "that's so hurful, I can't believe you'd do that" and storms out. I find her on the sleeper couch.. prepared for her in the first place.
Morning is going to be fucking weird. When it comes to these things, you don't mess around. People get all sorts of wrong ideas. Like, "what were you thinking did you want to take advantage of me" and who knows what.
PLEASE someone tell me that it is a REASONABLE boundary to not want to share a single bed with a drunk distraught ex of a friend? Or even if it isn't, that it isn't worth being disgusted with someone over?
To make things worse, she really needs help. I just need to protect myself here too. Not sure what to do. Need help reddit.
FFS | friend's ex ended up in my bed in depressed tirade, hurt and disgusted that I don't want to spend the night sharing said bed, still in my house, need damage control for tomorrow |
t3_3dwv28 | relationships | I [16 M] meet her[17 F] a few weeks ago and don't know what to do | Disclaimer: first time posting, sorry if I do something wrong.
Hi reddit, I (16 M) have been taking an Astronomy class at a local community college over the summer for fun. In the class I meet this young girl (17 F), lets call her Jane, in my class and we seemed to hit off pretty well. We both had similar interests (Astronomy and science in general, reading, video games, martial arts, ect) and coincidentally we are going to same high school. Not only that but we share a very sense of humor(sarcastically insulting each other) which for me is pretty rare.
Now most of you can probably see where this is going. Soon after meeting I begin to have a crush on Jane. I mean she is everything I'd want with in a gf how could I not? Now here is where the problem starts. I really want to ask her out but we've only known each other for a few weeks now and I am unsure if she thinks I am a friend or an acquaintance or something else (I am really bad at telling these sorts of things). And we haven't really hung out outside of class yet (but I'm hoping to change that) and we don't have any contact outside of our class together (I don't have her number and don't really use social media) and I don't know if she has a S.O. or not. Another thing I'm really scared of is every girl I've asked out so far, I no longer talk to them, even if we did sort of know each other.(I think this happens because I become really conscious of what I say to them because I don't want them to think I'm hitting on them or just talking to them to get them to like me. Advice on this appreciated) I don't want this to happen between us because I feel she could still be a great friend regardless of if have a relationship or not.
So I'm guess I'm just asking if I am just being a wimp and making excuses for not asking her or should I get to know her better? | I developed a crush on a girl I meet a few weeks ago and am unsure if I should ask her out or wait to get to know her better. |
t3_2efb54 | relationships | I (29F) seriously messed up and I need help | I moved to a new state, and met a new guy (28 M). I knew he had a girlfriend. We shared some steamy g-chat exchanges for about 2 months last Fall. I was slowly becoming good friends with his girlfriend 28 F), and the g-chat "sexting" stopped. Fast forward to now- his girlfriend is one of my closest friends. She find the old g-chats.
I want to know how to honestly and sincerely apologize. I do feel horrible. I never knew how to tell her. Nothing ever happened between me and the guy besides the g-chats. It wasn't even emotional cheating, we never had deep talks about anything. It was just a purely cheap, physical thrill.
I was thinking of writing her an email, bc she has said she is not ready to talk in person. Can anyone help me with wording it? | Sexted with a guy who had a girlfriend. Became very good friends with girlfriend (sexting stopped). 11 months later ,she finds sexts. How do I sincerely apologize? |
t3_52fbrn | relationships | I [ 21F] ended things with him [22M] and he still contacts me, are things really over? | Nobody looked at my first post so I reposted not sure if that's allowed?
I was casually seeing this guy for 6 months, things got a bit weird and I knew I caught feelings. I was fine with how things were but he had been acting distant. Anyway I ended things with him and he said he was done with me and didn't want to talk to me. A bit later I got drunk and text him that I missed him, I wasn't expecting a reply due to him saying that. He replied saying he missed me too, we spoke for a bit and he said he still needs to stop talking to me? I said to him clearly that I missed him and I was sad and that by him replying it implies he's not done with me. He never replied so I left it. After that now he has been snapchatting me, just randomly and liking my Instagram stuff. It's really confusing for me because I more than anything want to talk to him again. Am I just reading into things too deeply? I'm not that experienced in relationships but I feel like if you want nothing to do with someone you don't stay in contact? | ended things with a guy, realised I made a mistake he said he's done with me but he's still in contact over social media? What's the deal with that? |
t3_3chkol | dogs | [help] considering episioplasty for puppy with recessed vulva | I currently have a 17.5 week old GSD puppy and she is absolutely amazing. She began having chronic UTIs when we got her at 8 weeks and has been on antibiotics constantly. We have had multiple urine cultures, an ultrasounds, blood panels, and consulted with an internist and surgeon. The internist and surgeon indicated that her vulva is one of the most hooded ones they've seen and that it is very unlikely it will correct itself after 1-2 heat cycles. They both recommended surgery. Our vet has recommended that we return her to our breeder because of the cost of the surgery and prolonged after care. The vet isn't completely sure what the success rate of the episioplasty is and says that many dogs have incontinence afterwards. There has been only one other case in the entire vet clinic and that dog is currently only 2 years old, so they don't have much of a long term picture. The vet feels that there could be multiple other problems based on the fact that her vulva is so recessed. I am really struggling to find someone with experience with this.
Has anyone had an episioplasty done on their puppy to correct a recessed vulva or chronic UTIs? If so, did it help or did it cause other additional problems? Any information or personal experience would be really appreciated! | My puppy has had chronic UTIs due to a recessed vulva . The vet can't provide much information on the effectiveness of an episioplasty and recommended that I return her. |
t3_3pp0ct | relationships | Me [22 M] with my girlfriend [23F] of one year dumped me... | This happened on Friday. My in the middle of our facetime, I offer to play guitar for her, to cheer her up. She tells me to stop trying to make her feel better because it makes her feel worse about her rejecting my efforts. For the past two weeks she had been having doubts about us, she mentioned that all of the arguments that we've ever had was replaying in her head constantly. She started acting a bit distant and I tried to cheer her up. On Friday, after I tell her I'm gonna play her a song, she breaks down, telling me she has to break up with me. She can't keep hurting me and making me feel insecure about us because she doesn't know if she wants this.
It all happened so quickly... I miss her and want her back. She says she loves me and is in love with me, but she wants to clear her head. We agreed to stay friends, but when we text we flirt with each other which is messing with my head. She left this weekend to a different state, during this time, we will have no contact, with the exception of a good morning and good night text, which she wanted. I want no one else for me, we are different but we share many of the same values and morals. We also belong to the same religious denomination. So I don't understand what went wrong...In need of advice should I wait for her to come back to me?
Also, forgot to mention this was a long distance relationship, I see her every 2 months. | My girlfriend of one year broke up with me saying she has doubts, I love her and want her back, I'm broken, please help!! |
t3_3upzwb | tifu | TIFU by giving xxx videos to whole class unknowingly. | I have collections of lectures and notes of different subject. Exam is starting in a week and I had got collection of notes and programming codes from a friend few weeks back. When I see the folder, everything was like educational. A friend today asked for the collection and I copied whole folder to his pendrive and almost everyone including class started making copy of the folder.
When I returned home, I searched for an image but forgot its name and where I saved it. Then I searched for .jpg extension, I saw some unique name of images and opened two which were NSFW and opened the containing folder. There were more than 50 xxx videos and pics. F*** I gave all of the things to class. What if anyone started digging around the folder or searched for files like me?
Funny thing is: the one who created and stored them seems real aware. Inside the "C Programming Codes" folder there were folders named from A to Z and inside too there were 36 folders A to Z. When I had opened "the containing folder" I got to know that there was a code name "FUKSH" i.e. the videos were inside F->U->K->S->H. I was amazed by the way people store the XXXs so cleverly.
But the worrying part is what if any of friends opened the folder and break that in public? | I distributed Notes collection folder and after returning home got to know the one who had given me that folder had stored XXX stuffs inside many folders which can't be cracked in general. Should I worry? |
t3_j792m | AskReddit | So apparently I'm a raging ass when woken up... | I'm an avid reader, but have been finally goaded into making a post by the lady of the house. I've got a bit of an issue, and honestly have no idea how to even begin researching it, so I figure reddit being the mass of minds that it is might have some answers...
It seems I'm an amazing asshole when I'm woken up or rather at least bothered when I'm asleep. This first came to light when my brother tried to wake me up with a glass of water. I must have been at least somewhat awake, perhaps by the sound of him creeping in. In any case, by the time he was in dousing distance I had managed to talk him down from doing anything by yelling a stream of obscenities and threats at him that were convincing enough for him to walk out without finishing the prank. In any case, he and I laugh about this because pranking each other awake is something we've done for years. Fast-forward to now....
Lately, whenever my girlfriend tries to wake me up, there's a very good chance I say really vile things to her. In some cases I've apparently even pushed her out of the bed. I've also been told I swatted at our cat once, scaring the poor little bastard to the point of her hiding under the couch. For whatever reason, my girlfriend basically thinks I transform into Mr. Hyde when I'm asleep, as I'm nothing like this with anyone when I'm awake. The worst part is that I have zero recollection of the event and as a result occasionally wake up to a brooding significant other, and I'm dumbfounded as to why.
Does anyone have any idea what's going on or why I might be doing this? It's gotten bad enough that my girlfriend is scared of trying to get me up. | 1) I'm a occasionally, and increasingly a vile bastard to whoever tries to wake me up. I say hurtful things sometimes accompanied by a push or jab to whoever makes the mistake of trying to rouse me.* |
t3_19brcb | dating_advice | How do I interpret this text? Or am I overthinking it? | Ages: 24 male, 23 female
Had a great first date this past Sunday which involved a few drinks, great conversation, and lots of kissing. As she leaves, we make somewhat solid plans for Thursday. I planned to not really communicate this week, but call on Thursday to solidify plans.
Last night, I get an unprompted text from her that says: "hey, what are your plans this week and weekend?" I'm a little confused, because we talked about Thursday. Not wanting to bring it up, I said, "I'm busy Wednesday and Friday, but free on Thursday and as of right now, Saturday as well. You?" to which she replies "I'm free Saturday day or after 9". I tell her let's shoot for Saturday and she says yeah, sounds great.
It's great that she responded positively to Saturday, but I'm worried that her complete forgetfulness or disregard of Thursday's plans could be a sign of trouble to come. We had a few beers, but nowhere near enough to make things "hazy" and likely to forget. So, I'm not sure how to take this. If she did not want to hang out again, she would not text me asking what my plans were and telling me when she was free, so that's reassuring; but something feels weird about this Thursday thing.
What do you think of this? Is it something I should be worried about, or am I overthinking way too hard? | Girl asks me what my plans are for the weekend, we make solid plans, but she is completely forgetting that we had talked about Thursday. Wondering if this is a bad sign. |
t3_1135pd | relationships | [f/16] I can't stand this attention-seeking girl who wants to be my friend. | There's this girl at school whom I find really annoying because she does pretty much anything for attention. Although have known her for about a year now I don't know much about her. She is the type of person that tries to make her "social rounds" by talking to everyone, including me, at least a little bit whenever she can.
Now, I'm not going to leave a rant here, so I'll just say that, in short, the way she seeks (mostly male) attention and her general behavior (very random in an irritating way) irk me to the point that I don't want anything to do with her. I don't know what to do because she's acquaintances with most of the people I hang around, although some of them feel the same way I do. She's the type of person that can command attention with her presence and I find it difficult not to indulge her attention-seeking ways which makes it seem like I want to be her friend. How can I let her know without being a complete douche that I don't want to talk to her (like, ever)? | Annoying/attention-seeking semi-acquaintance talks to me often and I don't want her to, what should I do? |
t3_4cs2gl | legaladvice | HYPOTHETICAL - Any State, USA. If you were involved in a serious car accident, and the responsible party were found not to be under the influence of alcohol- but instead impaired because of health reasons- what legal recourse would you have? | Just wondering. Personally- I'm a type 1 diabetic (juvenile diabetes, it's sometimes called- like the Axel Rose, needs insulin shots kind of diabetes- not the overweight Wilford Brimley diaabeetus kind of diabetes.) I was in a store today, and I began to feel the symptoms of hypoglycemia (low blood sugar) - and I grabbed some (mark down easter!) candy and went to sit in my car. I tested my blood sugar, and it was in fact low.
I was 60 mg/dl - for reference an average non diabetic is usually around 70 to 80 comfortably. A T1 diabetic is usually aiming to be between 80 and 110 depending on how strict their doctor is.
Symptoms of hypoglycemia can often mimic drunk behavior - shakiness, dizziness, sweating, hunger, irritability or moodiness, anxiety or nervousness, and headache. Some, all, or none.
So, I sat in my car, ate my chocolate, and waited until about 20 minutes later, and retested my blood sugar to verify that I was back up to safe range (I was back up to 144- I over shot it, cadbury eggs man.) At that time I drove home. | Situation made me think of potential legal ramifications - when a medical side effect can cause impairment similar to that of being drunk- do the legal ramifications line up accordingly if you cause an accident similar to a drunk driving incident? |
t3_15s7rl | AskReddit | I fell in love with a girl, does she love me back? [LOVE][QUESTION] | I went to this party, didn't knew most of them, in fact, I only knew one (The host)...
So of cause, I did the only logical thing to do, got drunk (I'm usually really shy, only alcohol can change that), and when I get drunk, I really like it to stay that way, so naturally I tend to find the ones who like to drink, takes a few shots with them, and move on to the next.
Later on I found these two girls (Whom only knew each other and the host), figured we had some sort of connection, talked about stuff, everybody else began to either leave or sleep, we stayed up a few more hours...
I think I fell in love with one of them, primarily because of our conversations and her personality. Her friend was really drunk, so we decided to go to bed, and the next day they was gone... Later I when get this mail telling me that she added me as a friend on facebook... Do you think she likes me too?
I've never really felt that way with a girl before, never had any real girlfriends...
**note:** I really hope you understand my f*cked up english right now, I'm tired and kinda sick. | I went to this party, found a girl, fell in love with her. Next day I got a mail from facebook saying she added me as a friend... Any chance that she also kinda fell in love with me? |
t3_1cmpax | relationships | The girl I'm seeing (19F) told me she's not ready for something serious. I (20M) don't know how to deal with it. | First of all I hope this fits the post requirements, it might seem a bit ranty but hopefully it's not too bad. Throwaway because she reddits.
I've been seeing a girl for 2 months. I know that's nothing but while I've had flings before, I've never been close to feeling what I am now. I'm incredible into her, like I couldn't describe it.
The other day she texted me that she needed to talk (scared me like crazy), we met up and had a serious, long talk. To summarize she told me she probably wasn't ready for anything serious (she ended it with a boyfriend of 4 years a few months ago), and that she wanted me to know so I wasn't mislead. She didn't break up with me, but said she wasn't sure what the best option was. I pretty much agreed and told her she should try to figure out what she wanted.
Now comes the bad part: I'm desperate for this girl like nothing else. I've thought about it and decided that I absolutely want to stay with her even if it might not lead to much. Now, I'm horribly anxious to make the right decisions to make it happen. I want to text her and tell her that I'd like us to keep seeing each other on her terms, but I don't want to come off as desperate and push her away. At the same time I'm a mess I and really have to do something, I can't stand waiting.
This is so unlike me - like I said I've never had this experience before - but I'm a complete wreck, I've pretty much felt physically sick since our talk. Nothing will get my mind off of it. I don't want to mess up by reaching out to soon, but I also don't want her to make her decision based on false pretenses (that I'm equally unsure whether we should stay together - I'm very, very sure).
I'm trying to play it cool but it's ripping me apart.
What do you think is the right path? | Girl I'm dating says she's not ready for a serious relationship, I still want to stick with her and take it slow, don't know how to get that point across without seeming needy. |
t3_3nrppm | relationships | Me [32 F] with my boyfriend [31 M] nearly two years and has had an emotional affair and seems to want attention from other girls. | I am divorced with a young child and have been seeing my boyfriend almost two years. We've broken up 3 times over the relationship due to potential life changing circumstances (he wanted to move for a career or was being less than a friendly other half).
I just found out that over a year ago while we were together, he had a very significant emotional (he claims not physical until we broke up) relationship with a barely legal girl. I was on a business trip nearly a month, but this started before. They texted and saw each other regularly. When I was out of town, they texted non stop (I remember complaining that he barely talked to me and blamed me for being gone). They talked on the phone late into the night. They got together many times alone. All this was hidden from me. The day we broke up, they got together of course. We got back together a few weeks after all this (I had no idea) and we've been together since other than a couple days where there was some concern about moving.
I just found out about all this and I feel so unbelievably angry I'm not sure what to do. We are even seeing this same girl weekly for a recreational team and I didn't know about this. We've had such an amazing couple of months together recently and I really thought we were going in the direction of marriage and kids. He let me read everything on his phone to see if it was possible to build up trust ever.
I don't know if I can forgive him. I love him dearly and when things are good, I cannot possibly imagine them better. When they're not good, it's not normally this bad... But this is just a blow I'm not sure what to do with. I read many of his texts now and said we could do therapy. I don't know if I'm just being a total moron here. Reading this it looks like I am.. But when I'm with him I know he's what I want, in theory. | bf had an emotional affair with a girl and used her to not get too attached to me (he claims) and likes attention. What should I do. |
t3_1v68n1 | relationships | Weight loss is affecting my perceived ability to date and self confidence. Need help getting past this and understanding how others think. | Hi all,
I am going to give details of my situation as I see it. I am not trying to be conceited in any of my statements, they are the way I see myself and I want to be clear in what my actual problem is.
I am a 26/F who used to be somewhat overweight and am now on the slender side. If you see me in clothes, I look like I have a completely normal body, maybe not an amazing body, but normal.
I have a pretty face, and I have never had problems getting the interest of men because overall I look pretty.
My main problem is that I really dont like my body when naked. It is a bit saggy, especially in the tummy area and a bit in the arms, and I have a bit of loose skin. Nothing crazy, but i am starting to realize that it is likely that no matter how much excercise I do, I will always have some excess skin.
Because of this I often push men away, I don't enjoy sex the way I could and I feel that I will be a disappointment to them. I find that I settle for men that arent really right for me or men I dont like that much because I dont care what they think of my body (so I cant be hurt by their opinion). I am always afraid of being embarrassed with someone I actually like or I have interest in.
My question: Men- tell me what you really think. Have you been with girls with this problem? Does it bother you? Is it a huge turn off/ deal breaker.
Woman: have you been in my position?
I'm not looking for the typical "you should accept your body for how it is. I know that I should, but I cannot internalize that. | Will loose skin or an imperfect body make it difficult for you to date someone? If you have this issue, how have you overcome it? |
t3_3gs2nw | relationships | Is this too much for me [19F] to ask my boyfriend [20M]? | My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and in general, things are great between us. But there's this one problem that we have. We get into playful, joking moods quite often and in those moments he would call me ugly, "a big, fat, ugly ___" or something along those lines. Even though he doesn't mean it at all and it's a total joke, I would feel a bit uncomfortable with him calling me that but I usually brush it off and carry on. He called me those names again today while we were being playful to each other, and I felt like this needed to stop so I asked him to please stop insulting me jokingly because I don't like it. To paraphrase his response, he replied with "I'm being me, I'm being myself and I'm not going to change myself."
I felt so dumbfounded when he said that. This small request turned into a stupid fight. He then asked me seriously if I liked him for who he is. Well of course I do, that's why I've been with him for the past year! I'm clearly not asking him to change himself for this, I'm simply asking to stop calling me ugly even as a joke, that's all. Is asking him to stop calling me names even though it's a joke too much for me to ask? Or am I over reacting over this? Am I just being too sensitive and taking his jokes "too seriously"?
Sorry for that little rant, I just feel frustrated and dumbfounded by this whole situation. I'd really appreciate to hear your thoughts/inputs on this. Thanks! | Asked boyfriend to stop calling me names even though he's joking. He says he won't stop since he's being himself and won't change himself, and that I should be dating him for who he is. |
t3_10laj8 | AskReddit | I just accidentally made my iPad say my name out loud in Japanese in the middle of class while my teacher was lecturing and everyone heard it. What is something that you have done in the middle of class that resulted in your embarrassment? | So I downloaded an English to Japanese translator on my iPad to help me with my Japanese 102 class and I decided to try it out by translating my name. I typed in my name and three options came up. I recognized the first option as how my name is written in the Japanese katakana alphabet but noticed it didn't say what it would translate to in English because by the Japanese alphabet Matt is actually written like matto. I wanted to know if there was a feature that would tell me this and I noticed a little speech bubble next to it. Without really thinking, I figured maybe it was an explanation of the katakana. Needless to say when I clicked it, my iPad, with volume all the way up, said my name out loud in Japanese. Everyone in the class heard it and turned around and stared at me and my professor asked, "did your machine just talk there?" | Out of sheer stupidity I make my iPad say my name out loud in Japanese in the middle of class and everyone heard it. |
t3_ynvb7 | AskReddit | I turn 21 today and am contemplating my life so far. What were your thoughts about the same when you hit the age of 21? | Hi Reddit, I turn 21 today and was rather sad for not achieving my targets that I had planned 2 years back. Not that I am unsuccessful, I had really big plans (way too ambitious, you can say).
I sat contemplating my past. I dropped out of university because I disliked conventional education, I taught myself some good skills in software, web and design. Started my own business. Realized it's not so bad after-all and that my plans when I was 2 years younger were absurd.
Someone special told me to look at bright sides and asked me to list down things I am happy about achieving at this age. They are as follows:
* Developed excellent professional skills at young age, taught technical subjects to graduates although myself being a university drop-out
* Started my own freelance business, have freedom of time and money
* Have decent business network and popularity in my field
* Bought myself a car from my own earnings
* Earned myself a good lifestyle
* Director of a finance intelligence company. Soon to be a CEO of my new business within couple of months * An excellent cook (as a hobby though)
I don't mean to be condescending but I am now quite proud because I look at my friends and they are still studying at college, with no practical industry knowledge and getting drunk every other night. But at the same time, I am having a feeling I grew up too soon and am way too serious for someone my age. And that I didn't enjoy the care-free, stupid and young college life.
So the question!
Any redditors here who were as serious as I am at 21? What were your best achievements and proud moments - specially considering the mentioned age? What do you think of the "being too serious at 21" thing? | I achieved quite a lot at 21 and now I think I didn't enjoy my young age and I'm too serious. What do you think and how were you at 21? |
t3_318fbv | relationships | What do I (28f) do about my fiancé's (26m) overbearing mother? | My fiancé's mom is really a nice woman, but lately she just doesn't seem to take a hint to back off.
She has called his phone at 630am 'just to talk' a few times because apparently she feels this is the best time to have a conversation with someone. I am almost 5 months pregnant and need my damn sleep.
Lately he has been avoiding her because of her obsessiveness, and I've been taking the brunt of it by having to return her emails, phone calls, texts, Facebook messages and posts. I'm getting so exhausted and stressed out, what the hell am I supposed to do? | mother in law is overbearing, my fiancé won't answer her calls and I have to put up with her. |
t3_43y08j | relationships | Me [19 M] with my friend[18F]: Am I crazy, and was my roommate right? | I'm 19 year old freshman in college. In the first semester, I had had next to no luck with dating, with most of my "relationships" lasting one date. During this, I met this awesome girl in one of my classes. She had really similar interests that I had, but was dating somebody at the time. A bit after second semester started, I started to hang out with her more. We stayed up late watching movies cuddling, and ended up kissing and messing around a little bit( no sex, though.)
We spent a ton of time together the next few days, ending with more messing around on Tuesday. The next day, she called me to her room to tell me that she hooked back up with her ex boyfriend and started crying and apologizing to me. I wasn't that upset, since we hadn't gone on an official date at the time. She wanted us to not date, as she needed to work on herself as a person. Despite this, we spent more time together cuddling while watching movies. She even had me spend the night with her platonically with the caviat that nothing would escalate. We didn't talk for a few days. Yesterday, she texted me to let me know that she is talking to her ex again and that we wouldn't be doing anything aside from talking as friends in the future. This was irritating, as her ex boyfriend is manipulative and (admittedly, some bias) not a good fit for her.
My roommate the entire time this has been happening has been telling me to just cut ties with her, saying that she was bad news. I ignored him because of how much fun she was to be around, with the bonuses of not having to spend more nights alone in college. Was he right the entire time and that I should have just stopped trying to be a part of her life, and do I have the right to be irritated with her about chosing her ex for the third time? | Short lived thing with friend at college, lots of emotional hoops, would like to know if I put myself through too much for putting up with it all. |
t3_2xiudb | tifu | TIFU by getting puke on my new jeans | So last night, there I am...At a bar. Having fun with my friends, looking pretty sharp, got the feel goods from some vodka and Red bulls. When suddenly I feel like I have to piss. I get up and glide my way across the bar. Now this bar is kinda small so the walkway is a little tight especially on a packed Friday night. I accidentally bump into this manly chick at the bar who you could tell thought she was hot...(nope) and her uglier boyfriend mistakes it as I'm trying to get her attention...(NOPE).
He gets up from his chair and says "hey buddy, you got a problem?"
"Nope."
"Why are you hitting my girl like that, she's out of your league bro." (lol with her flat tits that and webbed cleavage)
"I'm just trying to piss man I didn't mean it," I say.
He starts walking towards me and I can smell the Pabst blue ribbon on his breath. He gets in my face, meanwhile im holding my dick trying not to leak. He pushes me and that really pissed me off. So I bounce back a little to give myself some space to charge this mother fucker and to make it look like I am a little bitch. Then...I charge. I tackle the fuck out of this guy and just start punching him in the face because I really had to piss and was just trying to get there quick. This of course is making me feel an extreme adrenaline rush from the Red bull and making me feel very dizzy.
I have this dude pinned down for like 6 seconds and then I feel it. I fucking puke all over this guys face. I don't mean a little bit. [I mean I look like this all over the guys face.](
I keep punching nonetheless. The puke is splashing everywhere and the force from my fists to his face makes it splash all on my new jeans. The poor guy had blood and snot and puke all over him. I don't regret it tho. | Got some drinks in me, had to pee, bumped into ugly girl, boyfriend comes after me, puke on his face like a waterfall. |
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