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t3_117amb | relationships | Should I [F19] pay for this? | Good afternoon, Reddit!
About 6 months ago I apparently received a parking violation ticket. However, I never saw any ticket on my car and I never got anything in the mail until a couple days ago. I was away when the mail was delivered to the house; my mom saw the ticket, freaked out, and paid for it for me.
I came home and she started yelling at me about the ticket. I picked it up and instantly knew something was wrong. First, it was addressed to my dad. The car isn't in his name and I pay the insurance on my car. The ticket was in his name but on the envelope was my name. Second, it claims I parked in an area which I never parked in before. Third, I never got ANYTHING on my car or ANYTHING in the mail about this up until now. The ticket didn't look very official, so I knew something was off.
After doing some research on the internet it turns out that we were scammed pretty much. The company issues these false tickets and hope people are scared enough to pay them off. My mother unfortunately fell for this and paid it off. I tried contacting the company but they couldn't guarantee that she'd get her money back even though they admit that it was a falsely issued ticket.
My mom is still demanding that I pay her the money back for this ticket. She refuses to admit that she was in the wrong and says I need to pay her back for it because I was in the wrong. I'm usually not a jerk when it comes to money and hell I'd even pay her back for it if she admitted she was partially at fault for this. I don't think it's fair that I should pay her back when she won't admit that she shouldn'tve gone through my mail and whatnot.
So what do you guys think? | Mom falls for a scam letter that was issued to me and demands that I pay her back for it. Should I pay her back? |
t3_288o7g | relationships | I [26/M] am being warned to stop being friends with my exes[ 24/F] sister [24/F] after our break up | My ex, after having been separated now for 2 years from me, is warning her sister to stop being friends with me. Her sister and I have been friends since before I dated my ex and after my ex cheated on me and left me, she expected her sister to stop talking to me as well.
Well obviously it hasn't happened and now after 2 years of no communication, a chance encounter with my ex while hanging out with her sister has lead to drama of im not supposed to be hanging out with the sister.
Meanwhile, my ex sees it totally okay to hang out with a guy that was trying to date her sibling before he slept with my ex shortly after we broke up, then she left him high and dry, brought him back as a friend and now, I am assuming, will have none of it when it comes to the topic that if her sibling cant see me, she cant see him since he was always trying to date one of the two.
I have this strange feeling that my ex is being possessive by not wanting her sister to hangout with me since she, my ex, is not allowed near me because I wont let her.
My question is, based on what I have said, have any of you had a scenario similar to this and what do you think is my exes motives for not wanting her sibling and I to hang out? | I think my ex is still not over me and is being possessive by trying to keep her sibling away from me but I can't tell. Can I get outside input? |
t3_2uxk3u | relationships | I [19 F] met a guy [23 M] who's more or less unattainable. | Some background info: just got out of a long-term relationship. Good relationship, very messy break-up. Studying abroad for a semester in Paris.
Last weekend, I went out with some friends to a club when we met some guys from Australia. I really hit it off with one guy and we wound up talking/making out the whole night. Met up and fooled around the next two days... and of course, he then leaves (some study tour of Europe).
Thing is, we're still talking and I don't mind it at all. He's funny and I never get bored of talking with him. But at the same time, I'm never going to see him again and nothing good could come out of trying to pursue a relationship, since he lives in Australia and I'm in the US. | Do I keep talking to a guy who makes me happy but I can never get with, or do I find someone new to get over him? |
t3_3q68aw | dating_advice | New boyfriend didn't get me a gift or card on birthday | Hey guys, my new boyfriend is awesome in so many ways :). For example, he texts me good morning and good night every single day without fail. And we cuddle for hours. And he tells me how much he likes me and how happy I make him.
But one thing that's been in the back of my mind is that last week was my birthday and he didn't get me a card or a present. He did take me to birthday dinner, but he didn't pick out a place; when I got in the car he asked me where I wanted to go. And I feel like I may have manipulated him into bday dinner, too - Him: "Hey, wanna hang out Wednesday?" Me: "Sure, it's my birthday!" Him: "Oh, cool, we can do birthday dinner."
Should I be bothered by this?
This is my first relationship, and I'm 18. I don't know if this is him just being not super into birthdays and stuff, or perhaps it was way too soon because we've only been dating around 2 weeks. I would have expected a card at least.
Anyways, thoughts? | New bf is great, took me to bday dinner (but possibly because he felt forced by me) but no card or gift for my birthday. Not sure if this is a thing or not... |
t3_3694mz | relationships | My [21M] first love [23F] cheated on me after 1.5 years, how to cope? | Hey, I'll try to be as short as possible. Thanks in advance!
I dated this girl for 1.5 years, I felt like I found my soulmate because we just did everything together and it was natural. Things started to get hairy a few months back and her attitude started changing, I had a gut feeling that she was interested in somebody else, but no proof whatsoever.
I could go more in detail but we're broken up for a bit over a month now because of her attitude change and that gut feeling so I don't think it's necessary but I'd just like to get some advice. This girl I absolutely loved would be fucking another guy one day and sleep in the same bed as me the next, I just can't process these emotions.
I feel like our whole relationship was her lying to me and I would be stupid enough to believe all that shit. I can't put any of this into words properly because I only found out that she was cheating last night after I logged onto my laptop and realize it was still logged into her emails and I stupidly went through it. The whole lot: presents for him, taxi receipts, love letters, pole dancing lessons, etc.
Apparently from what I gathered, the last 2 months of our relationship she was dating this guy (not a fling, a relationship). As I said several times already, I just can't cope with my emotions right now and I just feel horrible and need help. | GF of 1.5 years cheated on me for the last 2 months of our relationship and I found out last night, can't cope right now. |
t3_3tnb3m | relationships | My ex [28 M] cheated on me [24 F]. We broke up two years ago but I still see red every time I think of him. Advice? | I have an ex. We broke up two years ago after I found out he spent much of the four years of our relationship cheating on me with various women. Two of the women were close friends of mine. So I lost three important people that I loved, at once. When I found out, he avoided me. He never came fully clean about his actions, and as a coping mechanism he hid away. I didn't want to degrade myself by seeking him out when he had hurt me so much, so we just never spoke again.
Three months after our breakup, he met someone else and they seem very happy. Meanwhile, I've struggled majorly with trust and anxiety issues in my relationships ever since.
I've had to move into the town in which he lives and now I'm trying to face the high likelihood that I'll eventually run into him and his new girlfriend. Even thinking about this, my anger and resentment over how he treated me makes me feel like I'm dying inside.
I want to rise above it and not allow him to waste any more of my time feeling anger, stress and upset. But it's already been two years, and I wonder if I'll ever get there.
Any advice on what to do when thoughts of an ex still makes you feel this way, after *far too long*? | BF cheated on me, a lot, I broke up with him. It's been 2 years and I still see red when I think of him and how he treated me. How the hell do I not feel that way anymore? |
t3_1yuuq4 | relationships | My (F16) friend's (F16) boyfriend (M15) won't stop hurting her | One of my best friends from elementary has this jerk boyfriend, who won't stop abusing her (mentally and physically). They "fake" fight (ex: punching, slapping, pinching) all the time in class, in the car, etc. Some of the teachers and students have commented on how rude the boyfriend is and how their "fake" fighting isn't fake at all.
I talked to my friend about it and she said that she wants to break up with her boyfriend, but her mom won't let her. Her mother is dead set on her daughter and this guy to be together, forever.
The boyfriend is telling me to take birth control to get bigger boobs and how hot that would be if I did, right in front of his girlfriend. I get really awkward and try to shut it down before it goes to far. | My best friend is being abused by her boyfriend and wants to break it off but can't because of her mom. How do I help her escape? |
t3_54pi2j | legaladvice | [CA] Disputing medical bill once it went to a collection agency | I made a terrible decision to go to the emergency room several months ago because of a severe cough. I had medical insurance and I figured that the visit would be mostly covered. The insurance ended up covering only about 50% of the visit, leaving me with a bill for over $1200.
After some attempts to discuss this with the hospital's general customer support, I got to speak with their business department and told them I would like to dispute the charge. They told me to expect a 'dispute form' within 30 days. What I received was a letter from a collection agency informing me that they would now be the ones trying to collect on the dept.
What I wanted to dispute was the amount charged. The hospital visit ended up with me talking to a nurse, waiting for a doctor for over an hour while sitting in the hospital hallway on a bed with a number (like that was a room) and speaking to a doctor who told me that I don't have pneumonia and should go home and drink lots of fluids.
After getting this bill, I asked for an itemized statement, which ended up being one unit of emergency service level 3. While I am capable of paying this, I would like to at least attempt to dispute it. Once it ended up in collections though, is there anyone I could officially dispute this charge with? I can't imagine the agency would care. I wouldn't want this to go to court, but I do want someone to at least officially acknowledge that charging this much for the amount of services rendered is valid and acceptable. | Once a medical bill ends up in collections is there a way to dispute it? What is the best course of action to do so? |
t3_21wdg6 | relationships | Me [26 M] am in a bit of pickle around a dating situation [25 F] | So, I met this new girl who I was immediately attracted too. We just clicked. I mentioned we'd meet up for a drink and she jumped at the idea and quickly gave me her number. Two days later, I look in my inbox on FB and she has PM'd me asking how the rest of my night went etc. We arrange to meet up and she seems enthused so I'm thinking there might be something there... stoked :)
Here's where I need my fellow redditors input... I find out that her friend (cockblocker) has a huge thing for me. My good mate mentions that me and her friend might be potentially meeting up. I can tell you know that my mind is made up and I want to pursue her. However, it seems that this girl (CB) who has a crush on me has potentially ruined a good thing by cock blocking me. I know for a fact she wasn't happy about the two of us communicating and it's like shes put a claim on me, and all of a sudden the girl I was into has now backed off due to her friend "talking" to her. One minute its all on, the next thing I find out is her jealous mate (CB) has basically told her to stay way and she's gone cold.
I'm scratching my head trying to figure out how to play out this situation. I like this girl a lot but it seems her jealous mate has got in the way and my chances have gone out the door. I have tried to get back into contact with the (potential) girl but to no avail. So, does reddit think I should be straight up and just go for it still (I am trying) and tell her to not let her mate interfere or should I just walk away from dramas and leave it?
So frustrated. | frustrated [26 M] who has met an amazing women [25 F] only to get cock blocked by her mate. |
t3_1xqtcp | personalfinance | Inherited a Whole Life insurance policy. | Soooo I know the general consensus is Whole Life is bad.... but I'm unsure what to do.
My dad apparently opened a Whole Life insurance policy in my name when I was a baby. He had been paying it until I turned 18 (unbeknownst to me) than told me it was something great blah blah blah and I had to pay it. The premium is $55 a month and I just now found out that the other $70 is repaying a loan that he took out on the policy. He did not admit doing that, but he apparently pulled out a $6k loan against the policy...which I am now repaying. (5.5%).
The last few years I've just had this on autopay and haven't given it much thought. Should I think more about paying this off sooner so I can close it? Worth keeping open?
I'm already maxing out a Roth IRA (no 401k avail). Striving to save more also.
What say you?
Thanks in advance :) | Dad opened whole life in my name and took out $6k loan. Should I repay and close the account? What are my options? |
t3_2yznwd | relationships | [21 F] having difficulty with boyfriend[20 M] of 8 years. | Hi guys!
I have been with this guy, Alex, for just shy of 8 years now. It has been a struggle. We have been on and off for that length of time. I dated during the off periods while he did not. Each time we have rekindled the relationship, it seems to be 100x better.
I have been studying abroad in Ireland for the past 9 months and have come to a place where I am stuck. I have been finding myself to be more independent and love this change. Alex and I haven't been talking very much because we both got busy with school. I met a friend, Chris, a few weeks back and we really hit it off. I have trouble connecting to others and with Chris and it feels like we have known each other for years and we hardly know each other.
Fast forward a bit. I cheat on Alex with Chris. Alex wants to stay together and work things out and agreed to an open relationship where I can still be with Chris in the time being. Alex comes to visit in a few weeks and we want to work on our relationship. Or at least I thought I did. I don't know whether or not I am still in love with Alex. I have this crazy connection with Chris and he brings out all of these characteristics in myself that I didn't know I had and that I love. I feel that I am more similar to Chris than Alex. I feel awful throwing away a relationship that has been worked on for years, but is there a reason I cheated and don't want to give up the person I just met? How can I make a clear decision? Either choice I make I will end up hurting someone so I don't know what to do.. | 8 Year relationship between girl and Alex. Girl cheats; Alex wants to work on relationship; Girl wants Chris (new guy) and boyfriend. How do I evaluate the situation to make a decision? |
t3_2a20pu | relationships | [M24] Need advice so I don't do something stupid with respect to an ex gf. | I [M24] am having mixed feelings about my ex [F23] of 2 years. We broke up about a year ago. The reason we broke up was because she got a job and I was planning on moving away for school, and she said she couldn't give me what I needed. I'm not sure on the second part we broke up and she couldn't really give reasons to why other than the job and school thing. It was a peaceful break-up. It was weird. But I went along with it. Had no contact for a few weeks, etc.
During the no contact weeks she would message me (fb) a few times, to which I would say "I can't do this now" or "we need time" etc. This didn't stop her from messaging me. She told her roommate she made a huge mistake and was very emotional about the break-up. She tried to remain friends but didn't tell me that was her plan so I reacted skeptical. She tried to hang out with me, she tried to get back together in her weird way.She wishes me happy birthday, sent me a fb message last Christmas saying she misses me etc. She sent me a message wishing me good luck at the new school I am at. I texted her maybe twice since then and the last time she seemed defensive because I told her I was sad we didn't remain friends...now I see why she was defensive. It's been 6 months since the Christmas message she sent me, and a month since I texted her about not being friends. Everything else was before Christmas.
I don't know what to do. I'd like to talk and maybe get back together, but I feel like she's a different person, always face-booking about drinking casually and even posted about hillbilly boys hitting on her with the same line. I don't know if she's a different person or what she wants, but more importantly, what I can do to fix everything/ how to appraoch the situation. Thanks reddit, this is bugging me. | We had a great relationship, we broke up, I want to get back together. I'm close to her location now, and have feelings for her and think she has them for me. |
t3_27bo1q | relationships | Me [19 M] can't read her [19 F] | so this past 2 semesters theres a girl on my class which i like, though i just noticed her this semester since last semester had a lot of stuff going on on my life.
so here's the deal:
she is a normal girl, i don't see her talking to guys much though, we talk ocasionally, we just dont talk more because she is almost always with a friend of hers which i totally despise.
so a certain day she comes telling me i should help her with a presentation to the class (even though she is the one in the class with the best grades) and while whe are ramdomly talking she is smiling and she touches my arm for no good reason.
so i don't ask her out or anything that day because we were begining exam season and neither one of us would have time to get together. During the weekend im just messing around on facebook and i see her profile on one of those "people you might know" things, so i just add her, she has under 100 friends so i assume she doensnt use facebook that much and dont care when she doesn't accept my request.
next monday i see her before an exam and as I am going to her she just gets up from where she was sitting and goes away.
A few days later on another exam she is sitting by my side and is quiet, i assume so is trying to concentrate and i leave her alone. After the exam i talk to the girl who is on my other side and she jumps in the conversation right away. When the teachers allow us to leave the room she just goes away to meet that friend which i don't like.
I guess what i want to know is if you think she is into me or not, probably a female opinion would be best. | girl seems like she enjoys talking to me some times, other times just ignores me. Dont know what to make of it. |
t3_39j7h6 | relationships | I'm [20M] having a REALLY hard time getting over my ex [21F] | It's been about 4 months since she broke up with me for the second time. We were together for 3 years total. She left me for someone else. That guy dumped her after a month, and she made me think she wanted me back, but ended up changing her mind when I told her we'd need to work on the relationship instead of pretending like nothing happened. She asked me to be her friend while we both explore. About a week later, she's in a relationship with another dude she met on a dating app after one date.
I have been NC for 2 months. I have a job during the summer, and am trying to talk to/meet new people. I workout, and basically just do whatever makes me happy. However even after all of it, I can't get her out of my head. I have her blocked everywhere, and I don't stalk her social media or anything. I do check my email hoping to see something from her though. I filter emails from her to the Trash folder, but end up looking there to see if she sent me anything. When I see that she hasn't, I feel horrible.
I just want to know that things will get better for me at some point. I know that she's not good for me, and a relationship between us would never work, but I still would give anything to be with her again. I want to stop caring about what she's up to, or if she's thinking of me. Help! | 4 months since she broke up with me for the second time. 2 months of NC, but still curious as to what my ex is up to, and feeling like things will never get better. |
t3_4umh5w | jobs | Experience vs Pay | Hi All,
I'm at a bit of a crossroads. Here's some background first. I've been working at a non-profit for about 4 months now as an "intern". After checking my local laws, I've found this internship to be illegal as it does not meet the required criteria of an internship. As a new grad, I was eager to get experience and, despite the low wages (well below minimum), I signed the contract. Generally speaking, it's been good and I've learned a bit. I am directly responsible for the management of the office and assisting the boss in his everyday work.
Now, the problem: My contract is ending in a couple weeks and my boss -- who I've known for years -- has offered me another contract. The only problem is this: while he told me he'd offer me a more permanent and better paying position, the new contract is a significant letdown. It's barely (and I mean barely) above minimum wage and only three days a week (like my current contract). It extends 8 more months. While it's true I have limited experience, I contribute greatly to the organization, to which other employees would attest. It's not uncommon for me to work from home on weekends, too.
The other people there (only five or six, some part-time) make triple or quadruple what I would be making upon signing. Honestly, even if I were to work another job, which would be difficult given my schedule and commitment to this job, I'd barely make ends meet in the city I live in. Unfortunately, I'm well-aware the organization is struggling to stay afloat; however, if they can pay other employees quadruple what I make for tasks similar in skill to mine (when the job is already fairly technical), I feel I should be able to get an additional $3 an hour. Although, he said he couldn't afford to pay anymore, and I didn't even negotiate yet.
Should I stay on for experience or look for something else? I should add, there is a 30 day notice required upon leaving. | Been working at organization as "intern" for 4 months. New contract offered and is far below expectations and, I believe, unfair. Not sure if I should stay on for another 8 months. Experience vs Pay? |
t3_1lo9o6 | AskReddit | Has any (ex)smokers with sleep apnea found that Chantix had drastically improved sleep? | I personally have sleep apnea and my CPAP is pretty hit or miss. I mean it helps overall but sometimes I half wake up in the middle of the night pissed off that it is waking me up and rip it off. I had used chantix before to quit (it worked and I curbed cravings for a month before carelessness and being off the stuff got me smoking again)
I digress. The basics of what I am talking about is that I have noticed Chantix alone (no cpap or any other sleep aids) has GREATLY improved my sleep apnea.
On a normal night I will not remember anything. I will feel like I fell asleep 15 minutes ago and have to get up and start another full day of work. It is awful. With the cpap it sometimes gives me a decent nights sleep or I feel like I slept a couple of hours after an 8 hour sleep. No matter with cpap or not I sleep HEAVILY. I mean it takes vigorous shaking or yelling to wake me and even then I will usually instantly be back asleep or sometimes be still asleep when I talk to people and not remember it at all later (this has caused some tension in my life due to unkept promises and bitchy moods I had with people when I was still asleep)
On chantix (went a couple of days on couple days off and went back on last night taking only 1 pill a day just before bed to test) and noticed that was the factor for AMAZING sleep. I feel like I sleep for the first time in 10 years (I am 24 and went undiagnosed for a LONG time). The difference is night and day. I sleep from 4-6 hours and feel fully alert and awake when I wake up. I wake up through the night for the first time in my life when my wife gets up in the middle of the night and when my kids cry. I have dreams that I can remember in the morning and feel so much better than even the best nights my cpap gets me. | Are you a smoker with sleep apnea that has seen that Chantix directly causes you to have some of the best sleep you have had? |
t3_3rtvkg | tifu | TIFU by being an oblivious teenager | So, today I really fucked up and I felt like shit afterwards so I guess I thought I should post it, naturally. So I'm picking up my cousin from her friend's house, and she had a hockey game before, and was chilling until we picked her up. I knock at the door to get her to get ready, and so she comes through the garage to get her equipment. As I'm loading her stuff into the car, I see an extra bag beside the large hockey bag. I go "Katie, what's in the bag?" And she says "Pads" and me, still confused, reply "What type of pads? Like elbow pads? Shin?" And she gives me this look of pure judgement. I guess I should have clued in then, but I didn't and repeated myself about 5 times afterwards, until it dawned on me that they were PADS, like female hygiene products. I felt like an idiot for the rest of the ride back and I still feel dumb even writing this. | I didn't know that my cousin was referring to female hygiene pads rather than hockey pads, so I made myself look like an idiot. |
t3_27qhe2 | legaladvice | Property Management made a mistake and not offering compensation (NC) | I'm having trouble with a property management company and I was hoping someone could offer some advice. I'm a renter and I signed a lease for a property that starts on June 12th. While talking to the current tenants about buying their washer and dryer, we came to learn that the property management company made a mistake and that the current tenants have the place until the end of June, not June 12th. Me and my girlfriend rearranged everything to move in after the 12th, have family coming to help us and once we signed the lease for the 12th we told our current place we would be out by the 30th.
The management company has not offered us any form of compensation for any additional expenses it's to cost us to move at the end of June. We can't just stop everything and move in on July 1st or 2nd because it would be difficult for us to get time off from our jobs, plus we would have to stay in a hotel for 1 or 2 nights or extend our time at our current place. Both of which would cost money we did not plan on spending. We also had family coming down to help us move and they cannot come down on the new move in date and we would have to hire a moving company. | Lease signed for the 12th, current tenants have their lease until the end of June. Property management not willing to pay for additional costs associated with the breached contract / new move in date. |
t3_zve18 | AskReddit | My flatmate is annoyingly hypocritical and selectively forgetful. Tell me Reddit, what do people you live with do that annoys you? | as the title says, my flatmate who I have recently moved in with has some.. perks that have started to grind my gears.
First off, He's pretty tight with money, constantly reminding me to turn my computer off (rather than locking), to unplug things from the wall, not to use hot washes with the washing machine unless I need to, buying crappy ingredients during the weekly shop etc.
however, he's often wasting food when cooking, gets takeout, leaves the light on when he leaves the apartment, or he'll boil the jug up to 3 times for one drink (he sets it on to boil, then forgets about it.. rinse and repeat). sometimes he'll load things into the dishwasher, in such a way that nothing else can fit in it, for instance today I saw a pot and our strainer, taking up the space that could otherwise be taken up by about 6 days of dishes (we don't eat that much >.>). the strainer had been used to mix a salad, and the pot to boil vegetables, both easily hand washed.
and when he leaves in the morning, he's constantly forgetting his swipe card to get back into the apartment (1-2 times a week) and asking me to come let him in when he finishes work, despite whatever i'm doing, or he'll forget that I requested specific ingredients for a dinner meal I wish to cook, so i'm left with nothing interesting or fun to cook. but then he's quick to remind me exactly how much internet useage we've used up, or exactly how much the last food/power/water/whatever bill has been. | Flatmate tells me to do things to save money, but does other things that wastes it, and he forgets things that inconvenience me, but has no issue remembering other things |
t3_2n8skc | relationships | How do I (21/M) move on from my traumatic experiences with women? | As of now, I've been a pretty sociable guy. I can get along well with just about anyone. I wasn't always this way though, in fact, being a sociable guy now is a result of slowly building my trust in people again after a traumatic experience being bullied for having a disability in middle school (hearing loss).
Rewind to about 8 years ago, where I was a young ninth grader at a math class. I overheard what amounted to a discussion of "who's the best guy to be with" amongst a couple of girls. Someone asked whether I would be good, and the response pretty much amounted to a resounding no, along with equating me to being worse than the bottom of the totem pole. I wasn't friends with these people, and these words are usually irrelevant. Nonetheless, it still hurt, that took a colossal dump on my self-esteem and generally resulted in my chip-on-the-shoulder attitude with women dating from 2007-2010. In some ways, it still kind of haunts me to this day whenever I see potential, I sometimes willingly throw it away because of how afraid I am to be stigmatized as a worthless person.
That being said, throughout high school, I pretty much had this attitude of proving them wrong, and that's when things went awry. I started meeting girls that either played me like a fiddle, or led me on only to admit that they could never like me when I'm "disabled." It was this kind of experience that enabled me to disconnect myself from all encounters with women from my high school graduation to now.
So now in 2014, I've graduated from university, met some great friends, working a pretty standard job until I carry out the next phase of my life sometime next year. I've started warming up to women at my workplace and maybe even developed a crush on some of them, but I really have no clue how to move on and in some ways I feel stuck. Stuck in the sense that I really want to mingle, but I'm held back by my fear of being harshly rejected again. | High school experience and massive ego soured my experiences with women. I want to move on and give women another chance, but I feel like I'm stuck in limbo. What should I do? |
t3_1rd87g | relationships | SO (19F) did something on facebook, dont know if im (19M) overreacting. | Me and my SO have been together for little over a year, all of that time it has been a LDR. Our relationship has been great, we meet almost monthly or bimonthly, and we love each other a lot.
Recently she did something that made me feel awkward. She doesnt use facebook much except for the random status update about something cool or fun that happened in her life, a funny pic of irl stuff, etc. Barely ever comments on pictures of anyone, have never seen her like a guy's picture, etc.
Anyways recently I found out she liked a picture of a shirtless guy a month ago. She knows this guy, and has talked to him before, but they arent really friends (they havent talked in a huge while, she says). So anyways, I asked her about it, considering this is uncommon behaviour for her and she replied that she doesnt really remember doing it, and she doesnt even remember the picture in question. She said she probably liked it for another reason but the picture is pretty straightforward, a guy infront of a wall, sitting down smiling shirtless. Theres nothing to like besides that.
I just want to know if im overreacting over this, as a guy with friends that post that kind of pic, I know if a girl likes such pictures its kind of a sign that shes interested. But id like an unbiased opinion. | gf likes picture from a guy she knows but isnt really friends with in which hes shirtless. she has never liked a guy's picture in facebook besides this one. dont know if overreacting. |
t3_kfsm9 | AskReddit | Have you ever unknowingly talked shit about a person without realizing said person was the one you were talking shit to? | For example. Back in high school there was a group of kids who modded cars as a hobby. Mind you these were probably the worst mod jobs I have ever seen done to a car. Two of the kids had Hyundai accents fitted with hood scoops that they made from sheet metal, cut exhaust that had their own custom pipes that they wielded on and would sometimes would drag on the street. They also had them covered in stupid stickers and one of the kids painted his hood flat black. We never knew who the kids were but we always saw the cars driving around our small town and also in the schools parking lot.
One day in english class, we got split into groups for a project. Me and a buddy were placed in the same group and he was telling me how that morning he saw one of the cars hit a dip in the street and saw tons of sparks fly off the car from the stupid pipes they had wielded on. We proceed to talk shit about the cars for the next 5 minutes and also how a person could actually do that to a car and actually think it looked good. After the 5 minutes passed we noticed that we were the only ones in the group that were talking and the other 2 kids in the group were just looking at us like we just grilled a puppy. We ask what was wrong and they sadly informed us that they were the owners of those two cars. Really awkward class to go to for the next little bit but I can't help but laugh these days just thinking back on it.
So Reddit, do you have a story like this that is similar? | Unknowingly talked shit on the owners of these crappy cars while they happened to be in the same group project as us. |
t3_ms5j8 | AskReddit | Help Catch Coworker Milking hours. | So, here goes. At the software development company where I work I have 3 colleagues. Two of them, including myself are salaried and are required to work at least 41 hours. The 3rd is our graphic designer who is paid hourly. The problem lies with the hourly employee, as I believe that he is lying about his hours to inflate his income. I've been suspecting for a while based on a few odd things. First, he prefers to work hours where no one else is in the office. This means that he will come in late and stay "working" until late in the evening. This would be fine, but it seems a little odd. Also, he prefers to come in on weekends to work as well. Again, a little odd, but nothing too worry some. Next, I've been noticing that when he is here, he takes really long lunch/bathroom breaks. I usually take a later lunch than my other colleagues, (the two other salaried employees), but I noticed that when they go to lunch, the hourly employee goes to the bathroom or takes some sort of break, (usually for 1-1.5 hours). I'm pretty sure this is on the clock, then he takes lunch after I leave, (I've come back early and found him out to lunch). Again this is starting to seem shady but not completely outrageous. The final straw happened the other day when my manager was out. The hourly employee decided to take a break and when I walked outside to have a cig, I saw him sleeping in his car WHILE clocked in. This whole issue wouldn't be a terribly issue if it wasn't for the fact that his work performance is slowing our entire project down. If he has really been working, he should have a lot more to show for the hours he's put in. Now its starting to effect me, as I'm waiting for his designs, and I've decided I need to catch this guy in the act, I just can't figure out how. Any advice would be appreciated, but I cannot access his computer, (work privacy issues), or do anything that would violate his privacy rights. Also, we don't have any cameras at my office. | Coworker is milking hours and slowing down progress due to lack of work. Need to catch him in the act without violating his privacy. |
t3_1l0j5y | relationships | I [20/F] have no idea what's going on with my ex boyfriend [22/M] and its driving me mad! | My ex and I broke up about 6 months ago because he was moving away for work and neither of us wanted to do long distance. I was devastated, but we thought it was the right thing to do. I began dating other people, but two months ago he called me to say he wasn't moving anymore and that he missed me and wanted me back. I said no, I was moving on. He became more persistent and one thing lead to another on a drunken night out and we started sleeping together again.
He then went on holiday for a few weeks, during which time he slept with a girl he met and I found out through his friends. I asked him about it and he said it was a drunken hookup. I wasn't happy about it, but we hadn't had any talk of being exclusive so I kept quiet. He came back and things went back to whatever it was that we called normal. Until out of the corner of my eye, I see a facebook message from her on his phone while we're hanging out. I looked away because I didn't want to know but its been eating away at me. She likes his pictures on facebook, she posts on his wall once in a while.
He's away on holiday again, and when hes drunk he talks about how much he misses me and can't wait to be home. She's liked every single one of his holiday photos. I finally caved and had a look at her profile, and my heart just dropped when I saw he'd liked a few of her profile pictures.
I wasn't as hurt by his drunken hookup as I am by the possibility that they're still keeping in touch. Am I overreacting? He's the one that got away, and I do believe him when he says he cares. But what does it say that he can't say these things until he's drunk? | hooking up with ex boyfriend again, he might be talking to another girl, am I wrong for feeling cheated on? |
t3_1wjeh5 | relationships | Me [23 F] having trouble initiating sex with my boyfriend [33 M] of 1 month. | My boyfriend and I have only been seeing each other for a month but we are typically together 4 or more nights a week. We get along really well, have great conversations, I feel extremely comfortable around him. The sex is great. In fact, he is the only man I've been with who could get me to climax. But today he expressed that he is tired of always being the one to initiate sex and it's starting to make him feel like I'm not attracted to him.
I am VERY attracted to him. I look at him when he's just out of the shower or when he's walking around with his shirt off and I think to myself, "Damn, he looks good!" (seriously). But when we're together I'm more thinking about how I want to cuddle, or I want to watch a movie, or watch the game, etc. I'm just not a very sexually motivated person.
I have never once turned him down when he's initiated sex so it's not like he should be afraid of rejection. I get where he's coming from, because if a man never initiated sex with me I would start to feel self conscious, too.
Any advice on getting myself to initiate sex despite the fact that it's just not at the forefront of my mind? I have no problem with my sex drive, because once the heavy petting starts I'm all for it.
Thanks in advance :) | My boyfriend has initiated every single sexual encounter we have had together and he asked me to initiate every now and then but it seems like it's the furthest thing from my mind when we're together. |
t3_3zofs1 | tifu | TIFU by nearly and inadvertently violating a law with the FCC at a radio station | Took my demo CD to radio station today. It is well pressed and of decent quality. It was a long shot but I dressed well and asked to speak with the station manager.
He came down the stairs promptly and I'm sure he knew what I wanted before I even spoke. I wanted to give him my disc for a chance to get some air play. Before I could hand it over he went on about how the station is a top-40 station and it probably wouldn't get play. I knew this before walking in, I just wanted him to lie to me and have me feel all good but he was real about it which I can also respect.
After a few brief exchanges I just requested that he give it a listen. He said he would pass it on to a DJ who would, but every time he gave me confidence that he'd at least listen to it he would immediately say it would not make a rotation. Feeling defeated and remembering a movie I saw on BET I decided to leave him with my disc and contact information.
So I borrowed a pen and pulled out a $20 and started to write my name on a $20. He stopped me before I started and said he doesn't even want the CD. I turned white as a ghost when he told me this practice is illegal. I'd never heard of 'payola' but it's a thing and you cannot do it.
I ended up just writing my contact on a post it and left. Swagger level -1 and we are not talking golf scores. | went to radio station like a baller with hip hop demo, left with negative swagger points by trying to pay DJ for a listen. |
t3_1hh5hy | self | This is how I know my ex's drunk dial could be akin to him having ingested truth serum | Not sure this is the right subreddit, so direct me to a better one if need be. My ex (with whom I am discussing reconciliation) drunk dialed me after having consumed more alcohol than any human being should have survived, let alone been conscious.
We had a long talk where I asked him many questions, almost all the answers were things I truly wanted to hear and never imagined I would.
I began to wonder if it was too good to be true when the conversation took this turn.
**Him:** When I first saw you I thought you were so beautiful. I figured I was fucked because you were so far out of my league.
**Me:** Then you eventually saw me naked and realized I totally wasn't LOL. (we pick and play, lots of barbs towards each other and ourselves, and after a massive weight loss I'm literally less than half the size I was and am insecure about my loose skin and stretch marks)
**Him:** No, I saw you naked and I was like, oh, that's not that bad, I can deal with that.
wow. Yeah, I think he was being honest, don't you? I didn't know whether to laugh, cry, or what. | Ex drunk dials me, tells me lots of wonderful things, then says my naked body wasn't that bad, it was something he could deal with. |
t3_2kgpzb | relationships | Me [22/F] Him [22 M] Do I ask him to meet me for coffee? | So I have been speaking to this guy for a while via social networking sites and few months ago he saw me shopping at his store and he messaged me to say he had seen me. From then on we have been speaking regularly roughly 2-3 times a week via text.
He has asked me to come see him quite a few times in his store and the other week he was like you might as well come see me for discount asap as I might be leaving the place. So I went in to see him and I thought things would be awkward but I was completely wrong. He was extremely nice and friendly and we spoke for around an hour whilst he was working and helped me choose what I needed to buy.
During this conversation we spoke about random things and he was like let me know if you need anything else from here. We seemed to get on very well. I thanked him and he said there is no reason to thank me as you always help me with advice, he also said that he needed to keep me close so that I can continue helping him. After the meeting he was quite evidently going through my social networking profiles and liked a few photos and left a comment about the purchases.
I cannot quite pinpoint whether he sees me as a friend or whether this could possibly progress to something else. The question is do I wait for him to approach me to meet again or do I man up and ask him to meet for coffee/lunch? I don't want to seem to forthcoming. As in the last week he appeared to be upset regarding a certain issue and I tried to comfort him but he wouldn't really give away what the issue was he just stated that life is not always positive. | Finally saw him whilst he was at work should I ask him to meet for a coffee? could this progress into something more? Do I wait for him to suggest another meet up? |
t3_17w61u | relationships | Lost for words [20m][20m][18f] | Ill make this as short as possible. I'm currently freaking out right now. I'll start by saying that my worst fear EVER is having a girl leave me for my best friend.
I met a girl last semester and we got real close. We aren't exclusive at all but we hang out often and really like being together!
Now back to the story. My friend is everything I'm not. Tall, white, handsome and everything comes to him easy. And I'm happy for him, it's whatever because it doesn't affect me.
This semester he decided to take ONE class and come back to school. This ONE class out of hundreds of classes on campus is the same one my huge crush is going to.
I used to think about how devastating this would be. And I dismissed it as a phobia, an irrational fear. But what are the odds?! Shes a pretty girl and hes a good looking guy and they're in a class now for 4 months, it's inevitable what's going to happen. We're all young and he can give her what she wants, a tall attractive guy. He hasn't had any contact with females and was just talking about how he wants to get pussy. What are the fucking odds, I am freaking out right now I feel that I'm in a living hell. I know that I'm not entitled to her and I don't own her, but I am literally living through my worst fear. I'm already convinced that there is a whole deal of pain coming my way. Sorry if this isn't in the right place. | My biggest crush and very good looking friend are in the same class for the next 4 months. He is looking for pussy and me and her aren't exclusive. I am having bad feelings. |
t3_tw57l | AskReddit | Marketing managers of Reddit, what key skills/knowledge would you expect a marketing grad job candidate to have? | I have managed to get an interview in a few weeks for a marketing grad position and have been hit by the fear. I graduated last year and I'm pretty sure my brain has melted since. My biggest fear is being hit by an acronym in the interview that I have never heard of or some marketing practise I have no knowledge of. So folks, just to calm me down, what would you expect a grad to be fully aware of? This job is for a somewhat niche company, supporting the marketing manager and I think I would be really good in the role so I want to make sure I have all my bases covered so I can dazzle them. I'll obviously be doing a lot of background research and reading to prepare me, but 'the fear' has officially hit. Help please! | Scared I will get to my marketing grad interview and have forgotten everything I've ever learnt. What should I know? |
t3_3g3tu1 | askwomenadvice | I'm struggling to decide whether or not I want to join a Sorority in college or not and I'd love some perspective... | I'm about to start my freshman year in college and, like a lot of people, am worried about being thrust into a whole new environment without a stable friend group to rely on. I've never planned on joining a sorority, but during Orientation, a majority of the people I talked to are joining one and I don't want to miss out on making a friend group if I don't. I would love to hear some people's experiences with greek life and the pro's/con's of both sides. Also, I don't know if it matters but I'm studying architecture, which is going to take up a huge amount of my time. | will I make a solid friend group even if I opt out of the greek path (while a majority of the people i've talked to are joining) |
t3_1ymhnc | relationships | [19 M] What to say with nothing to say? (am I clueless?) | Sorry to those reading but this will be a slight wall.
Some quick history : I've had a few relationships both long and short over the past few years, I'm no stranger to female interaction but recently I don't seem to be able to really talk with girls that aren't my close friends.
For example, recently I was out at a pub(read: bar) waiting to get a drink and was felt up (read: groped) by a fairly attractive girl who informed me that she was doing it because "my friend told me to". I smiled assuming it was all just a bit of a joke and went back to my friends (not before being groped by other ladies in their entourage).
A similar situation arose again with a girl asking me if I thought the place was a bit shit and if the drinks were too expensive, I agreed with her and laughed. She then slapped me on the chest and demanded that the barman serve me since i had been waiting in line for so long before we exchanged smiles and went our separate ways.
I just don't understand these situations, was I being hit on? Usually with girls I can talk about music or some sort of cultural hobby but I can't even formulate a sentence when it comes to these random meetings. Is it even possible to have a conversation with a random in a ridiculously noise-polluted area? | I can't talk to girls when I have no idea who they are or what they love, and I have no idea when a girl is interested - any advice? |
t3_1zgc4t | relationship_advice | I am [21/M] and she is [21/F], am I reading too far into this? | I will try and keep this as short as possible. Let me begin by saying that I know how incredibly shitty this is going to seem twosome of you, but I thought I'd ask anyway.
So for the past two months I have been attending a Study Abroad program through my school. This means that I am studying with other students from various other schools. So there is this girl who I hadn't really talked to much since I've been here. I am really attracted to her, I might add. Anyway, about a week ago I had gotten her number from a friend to text her about something school related. From then on, she started texting me off and on. A few days ago she we got to talking about movies and such and she asked if I wanted to watch a movie with her. So I agreed. When I got there it was just her and I. We started watching the movie and she offered to let me share her blanket, so we did. Once the movie was over, her and I talked until really early in the morning. When I got back to my apartment she texted me about hanging out again. For some reason, she is giving me vibes like she is into me, but there's a problem (and this is where it gets complicated/shitty). She's engaged and I am in a relationship as well. I will say that I have been in almost the exact situation once before. There was a girl that was engaged and she was giving me very similar vibes and she ended confessing that she was into me. | A girl who is engaged is giving me certain vibes and I don't know if I am reading too far into it or not. |
t3_lbtse | AskReddit | A girl cheats on her boyfriend with me, do I tell him or let her figure it out? | I'll try to make this as simple as possible.
A girl I know tells me how she's been distant from her boyfriend because she caught him replying to those casual encounter ads on craigslist. Because of this, she's moved out, yet she still is with him (dating, sex and all that). I moved quite a distance away so I'm not there so often, but the last time I was there we made out for a real long time. We would have had sex if the house wasn't occupied. You may be asking why I did this in the first place. By the way she was constantly complaining about how shitty her relationship was, I assumed it was over, but there was no formal break up that happened.
After this, we were closer than before for about a month until I see something she wrote on her blog about this guy she met. I comment that what she had written sounded like she had a thing for the guy by the way she described him. She got offended over this (seriously, it was something you couldn't even get upset over), stops replying to me, deletes the blog link from her Facebook. I call her and leave a voicemail apologizing. Still nothing. I realize that I may have done wrong, but she may trying to get rid of me to hide the past. I deleted her from my Facebook (which she kept updating, so I know for sure I was being ignored) and I am now contemplating sending her boyfriend one of the many text message screenshots that I have from an anonymous Facebook account. Last contact with her was Sunday. Do I tell her boyfriend or try to make contact with her and resolve everything? | A friend of mine cheated on her boyfriend with me then became a huge bitch to me a while later. Do I tell her boyfriend? |
t3_3xu9ce | tifu | Tifu by not listening to my wife yesterday. | So my wife and I hire a cleaning maid to come in once a month and clean the house. She wanted the house to be clean for Christmas so yesterday she told e that the cleaning lady was coming today. I wasn't really paying attention so I just kinda said "yeah OK whatever". So fast forward to about an hour ago. I woke up at 8 like I always do. Now as many of you will know, men tend to wake up with erections and the need to pee. Well this morning I had a very full bladder and had an even larger erection. My wife wasn't in the room or bathroom like she usually is in the morning so I knew I had to strike while I had the opportunity since she gets ready for work around 8:30. I pulled off my boxers and speed walked over to the bathroom door, already feeling the urine trying to leave my body. I yanked the bathroom door open and there was the cleaning lady, bent over the toilet cleaning it. Remember, I had literally just woken up so I was still a bit out of it. She turned around and saw me standing there, butt naked with a full blown erection. She screamed, I made some kind of delirious mumbling noise, my wife ran in and she started screaming. Now I'm sitting here drinking coffee and listening to my wife yell at me for sexually traumatizing the cleaning lady. | woke up with morning wood, walked in naked to the cleaning lady bent over. Her and wife think I'm some kind of perv. |
t3_1mxwhb | offmychest | Shocked..sort of | Okay, this is my first post so please forgive any errors I may make.
Background info: My mother (66), has been married to my step-father (67) for over 30 years. I finally put some boundaries in place and have not spoken to him in over a year but have maintained a great relationship with my mother. They live over 10 hours away from me which helps. About 4 years ago he developed a neurological disease (similar to ALS but not).
Anyway, 11 days ago he had open heart surgery (triple bypass and a valve replaced) and has yet to wake up completely from the anesthesia. She of course has been by his side throughout all of these medical problems and procedures. Yesterday she spent about 5 hours at the hospital cleaning him, clipping his nails etc. She thought she would call his barber to see if he would come over to give my step-father a haircut.
So, she went into his iPhone and noticed text messages from a woman. She opened the first one and then spent three hours reading through texts from a woman who has been his mistress for over 1 1/2 years. And this woman is younger than any of us "kids" and she has 2 kids of her own. My mother saw where he has spent well over $150,000 on her (even paying for the autistic child to be in private school), all while my mother works full-time at a crappy office administrative job in order for him to have health insurance.
Am I completely normal to want to go to the hospital and unplug a few things in his room just to see what happens? | My mother found out that my step-father has had a mistress for over a year and a half while he is unconscious in a hospital bed. |
t3_17uvep | dating_advice | [22F] I told him [22M] I liked him at his house but it turns out he doesn't like me..help how do I not ruin our friendship? | So we are both college students and I went over to his house to hang out with him and I end up sleeping over. I thought he liked me because he did certain things a platonic make friend would not do, like going to parties with me and commenting on my appearance, and basically saying yes to anything I suggest. So I told him I liked him and it was kind of sudden, but I thought that he felt the same way. I have mixed feelings about him but I know that I love spending time with him. He told me that he likes me as a person and that he has to think about it. What should I do to not ruin our friendship because it seems like he is not really interested, or else he would not have told me that he has to think about it. | Told friend of 2 years I liked him after hanging out with him more and he has to think about it. What do I do to remain friends with him since he seems not interested? |
t3_158y9f | relationships | [22F] with [27M]. My parents don't approve of dating outside our race/religion - my BF is white, and I feel conflicted. | My BF is 27M, I am 22F. Dating for 1 year. I live with my parents, and am very close to them. However, they are racist - they do not dislike white people, but they absolutely hate the idea of dating them. They said they would kill themselves if they ever found out I was dating someone who isn't Indian/Hindu. I don't know what to do. I'm very happy with him, we are in love, and this has been the only major obstacle standing in our way. I don't want to hurt anyone, but my parents won't reason about it at all. What can I do, or what should I do? | My parents will kill themselves if they find out I'm dating a white man because they are racist, and I don't know what to do. |
t3_30u6dl | relationships | I (29F) feel like my dad and I don't agree on most things that matter - like my education, career, and now my choice of a life partner. And when I do what I want to do against his wishes, the guilt ultimately pulls me down. | It started about five years ago, when I was admitted into a top tier university for graduate studies. My dad didn't want to me to go that far away from home but I went anyway. Over time, I started feeling guilty/homesick and almost quit by the end of the first semester. Luckily, I stuck on and graduated.
Then the economy was tough but I still wound up a small position at my "dream company". It was a struggle but I thought I could make it. Again, he didn't think it worth while to be at such a low level and quit if I don't get promoted soon enough. My career prospects didn't brighten for the next two years and I eventually gave up and returned home. I found a mediocre job near home and live with my parents. Every passing day, I regret quitting my earlier job but I am not sure if I had the potential to establish myself over there anyway.
Meanwhile, I've been dating somebody on and off for a while. Sadly he has been unemployed for the last four years and has nothing but his stellar college education to show for his potential. My father, quite understandably, is worried and has expressed his disapproval and grudging acceptance. This, as always, made me guilty and I eventually broke up with him last week. But now my dad is even more sad because his almost 30 yr old daughter has no career and no personal life whatsoever. Of course, I am miserable too. | I have been struggling to establish a career or get married for some years. I feel like my dad's disapproval is making me doubt myself and lose focus/commitment. |
t3_5538wq | relationships | I[28M] loaned my wife's boss [30'sF] a laptop and it broke in her care. | My wife's company opened a second location (small business) and did not have a computer at the time. I told them they could use the laptop until she purchased one, as I had another and wouldn't sorely miss it.
All in all she had the computer for over a year. She performed multiple updates and used it exclusively at that location the entire time. Recently it died over a weekend (thinking power surge). This was also after she has stated several times over the year that should would be purchasing a laptop in order to return mine, which never happened.
I've even had the IT manager at my company with no luck breathing life into it.
I need to send her an email letting her know that despite best efforts the computer is not working and I would like her to replace it. I want to word in a way that is not accusatory or rude, but firm. I have found a replacement that would be less than purchasing the same laptop outright I would like to suggest.
My only concern is how to word the email to not create anything that can be misconstrued on create a negative work environment. | Loaned wife's boss a laptop for company use. She kept for a year and now its dead. What do I say in the email to ask for a replacement without creating negative work environment? |
t3_30ifxj | relationship_advice | (32/f) Told by BF [36/m] that I am jealous but I am not...Is he saying it to control me/make me crazy? | Hi Everyone,
Last night we were out and about having fun and my boyfriend was chatting it up with another woman/friend. She stated that she wanted to go play pool but doesn't have anyone to go with, and he stated 'I'm available, call me when you want to go'. Then we go out to dinner on a double date and my friend's boyfriend says how he's been wanting to play pool and my boyfriend again says 'I'm available, call me when you want to go'. At this point, I'm getting a little upset because he's been saying that we are going to go for 3 months and for whatever reason it hasn't worked out. So, I made a comment/joke that he keeps saying he wants to play pool with everyone and we still haven't done it yet.
He flipped out and kept going on about how I was jealous because he said he would play pool with the woman/friend and was like 'we've done it before no big deal' and then continued to make a big deal out of it and said I was insecure. He completely acted like I didn't point this out AFTER he mentioned hanging out with a guy, he just focused on the fact that I had to be jealous because he said he would play with another girl.
Honestly it does not bother me about the pool playing, heck, I don't even want/need to be there….but I suppose his eagerness to want to go with everyone else when I've been wanting to go just bothers me for some reason.
I'm confused….be brutally honest….was I acting jealous? I really feel like he tried to make me feel like I was jealous when I wasn't.
Additionally, am I wrong to think that he could've handled it better by saying 'Okay, well go soon'? | Told bf I want to do something and he made it sound like I only want to do it bc he is going to do that with another woman thus am jealous |
t3_3r8fxa | tifu | TIFU by putting my shoe in the microwave | I guess I never learned anything in my years in the university or in high school.
So during the past few days there has been a lot of rain. I only own one pair of shoes. Recently I realized that my left shoe has been squeaking. Naturally I googled "why are my shoes squeaking" and got a list of possibilities such as:
1) some of the rubber sliding onto each other causing it to squeak
2) water getting inside of the shoes and such
As soon as I read that I knew that was the cause. So what did I do? I thought, oh I will just evaporate the water with heat, because I don't know how else to get rid of the water in the heel of my shoe. So as soon as I got home from uni, I took off my shoe and put it in the microwave and set the timer to 5 minutes. It didn't even last 5 minutes because I stopped it half way because I realized part of the shoes was melting. By the way I was making food when this was happening or else I would've stopped it earlier. Nonetheless, it melted the heel of the shoe. Positive side is that it actually stopped the squeaking.
Pics: | Thought I could evaporate the water inside my shoe with a microwave. Ended up melting part of my shoe as well. |
t3_odczp | dating_advice | Need some advice... it is work related [24/M] | I just started a new job last fall, and moved away from my home state and stuff. I haven't had any sort of serious relationship in almost 6 years now, being that I have been nailing out my Bachelors Degree and now I have it in my possession.
Anyways, so there is this girl at work that I can't get off my mind. I am basically a technical support for the projects that she works on. However, she is not in my department what so ever. My workplace isn't exactly a small establishment, and I rarely ever see her around unless something goes wrong or needs fixing(mostly email contact or messaging). It was more or less "love at first sight", but I have been keeping it to myself and no one in the entire campus knows anything. She seems like a really upbeat and geeky person.
Let me clarify, there are times when you would think someone is extremely hot or something(a.k.a. I would sleep with them instantly); but this really can't be categorized as something like that in my opinion. I can honestly say that I really don't feel like that about this at all.
I have been keeping everything very professional and whatnot. Only talking about work related things, and not really mentioning anything outside of that. I would definitely like to find out more about her, but I have no idea what to do about it. I don't want to come on too strong or anything. Hell I don't even know if she is in a relationship or not.
I know that most people are kind of "meh" about relationships at work. After all of the stuff I have read against it online, I have been a bit restrained about doing anything. Butterfly city.
On a positive note, I have been excelling at work and kicking ass getting projects done. So this hasn't interfered with work at all. I try to keep my mind off of this whenever I can. | I am extremely attracted to someone at work. Not sure if I should do anything about it. It is not pure sexual attraction in the slightest. |
t3_3sg6a0 | relationships | Me (19f) with my SO(21m)of 2 years want to get engaged but fear the repercussions with family and friends because of our ages. | Hi there r/relationships! I was looking for a little outside opinions and advice.
My SO and I have been together for 2 happy years. We're extremely sexually compatible, get along perfectly minus the occasional tiff and are each others best friend. We currently reside at my father's house as we are both completing university at this time (me in my 2nd year, he in his 4th) and its easier for us this way for the short term future.
Recently, we've been discussing marriage a lot, a topic sparked by attending a family friend's wedding a few months ago. Ever since then we would talk about what our wedding would be like, who would be bridesmaids and groomsmen, etc. My SO has suggested proposing in the near future, a revelation that sent me over the moon because I've decided that I want to spend my life with this amazing man.
However, I worry that we are too young, more me than him.
this is why I have come here. r/relationships, I need your opinions on the right age to get married, if there even is one. I worry a lot about upsetting those around us and would like to avoid that if possible. | Me (19f) with my SO(21m)of 2 years want to get engaged but fear the repercussions with family and friends because of our ages and I am seeking opinions. |
t3_4rnhyg | relationships | Me [22 M] with my girlfriend [23 F] after 6 years together, i think it's time to move on | Hi all,
I was with her for 6 years now and last two years we are having very problems very often, breaking up often, we broke up last time for 6 months and saw her on a party and we started again, tried to talk our problems, it was a very good start on the first two months but again got our same problems back.
I'm a person who works a lot and i need to help my family with money (my father died when i was 9 years so i need to help my mum) and she doesn't want to understand that i need to work a lot. She says that i find free time to go out with friends and with her not, but i always say to her find a place to go for the weekend and we will go every weekend somewhere, it's not my problem that she can't come.
So i think i need to tell her thanks for trying again but it's not working, i will make you feel only bad in the future and you can find someone that will have more time for you, sorry and good luck. What do you think? What is the best way to break up with her not hurting her to much? | Was with her for 6 years, last time we broke up 6 months and got back to try again, it was good in the first two months but again same problems started. |
t3_3e9na3 | relationships | Me [22 F] with my girlfriend [23 F] 6 months, am not sure about what to do if she gave me an STD | I was a virgin before having intercourse with my girlfriend. We had sex before dating, and before we had sex she had told me she had already had sexual partners in the past (incl. males and females).
She specified that she had not had PIV sex, and I took it for granted, assuming that she had safe sex.
In the last few days, we have become increasingly worried about STD risk. She revealed to me a few weeks ago that she had not used protection (she does not know their sexual history, and one was far older/experienced than us).
I am conflicted. I know it was my fault. I should have advocated for myself, and pushed her to get tested (and myself too, even though I was a virgin).
We have both now gotten tested, and are waiting for the results.
I like her, and it is a great relationship otherwise, but I want an objective opinion on what happened. What did I do wrong? What did she do wrong? What did we both do wrong? How can I make sure I don't do this again?
I know I should have asked her, and encouraged her to get tested, but some part of me is also conflicted about her not telling me the sex was unprotected until far after the fact. | GF told me she had sex, took my virginity. Recently told me her earlier sexual experiences were unprotected, I am now conflicted. |
t3_2qwdrv | relationships | Boyfriend (M22) of 3 years dumped me (F20) and I really need advice | Before we started dating, we were best friends for a long time. There was a point when all my friends hated him because they thought he was a douche but I didn't care, I really liked him until I eventually began to fall for him. He didn't think I was pretty enough to date him though which I agree with because I was kind of ugly tbh but time passed and my chasing and puberty worked because we started dating.
We dated for 2-3 years ish and our lives merged: we share the same group of friends, work together, hang out with each others' families, etc. I also lost basically all of my firsts to him which is a pretty big deal for me because I wanted to wait til i was married.
Anyways, he had depression and it became really severe. He stopped going to school, etc. and I was literally beside him the whole time to help him get better. All his other so called "best friends" left him but I was there.
Time passes and he's better now but breaks up with me because he wants to sleep around with other girls. His reason is that it will give him the confidence that he needs to fix himself. The way I interpret it, I took away his manliness when I babied him during his depression. I was also way too easy to get in the beginning because of all of the chasing I did to get him.
I'm just so hurt by it because I spent all my time and effort to help him get better just to get dumped. I feel like such a loser, I stopped eating and it hurts to breathe. I want him back but I know thats not in my control. | what can I do to get over him without ruining 7 years of friendship? and please when you read this, don't interpret him as a jerk. I'm not describing him completely but he really is a good guy.. |
t3_lf01c | loseit | It's either all or nothing with me... | I'm sorry this is so long.
I don't know why my relationship with food is so bad. But I binge eat. I learned never to get at the store just enough food to last a week. It will be gone in a day. If I order a large pizza and plan on eating it over the weekend, it'll be gone that night.
But recently I completely ran out of money and had to go about 4 days barely eating. I think on the 1st and 3rd day I got enough money for one taco from Taco Bell. It was about 400 calories spread over 4 days.
At the beginning I was in physical pain and thought that my stomach was going to eat itself. But after about 48 hours I felt great. I didn't think about food. I felt more energized. I was so excited knowing that I must have conquered my urge to binge.
Then we I got paid I gained 7 pounds in 3 days.
Last Friday, I didn't cash my check on purpose so I wouldn't eat over the weekend. I had nothing at home but a few cheese slices so I ate them. I feel energetic again.
But I have to eat tomorrow and I'm scared. I want to eat like a bird. I want to be satisfied with smaller portions.
Is there a way to get that feeling of energy and not thinking about food without starving yourself?
Oh, by the way, I don't have any sort of restrictive eating disorder. I am obese. The first time I didn't eat because I had only a couple dollars to my name. This weekend I just didn't want to.
Sorry this is so long. | I can eat nothing for several days and feel energetic. But around food I can't control myself no matter how much I ate the day before. Fix how? |
t3_37xjll | relationships | Me [23 M] dealing with a girlfriend [21F] of just over 1 year who gets upset when I ask to have a night at home without her | I currently live with my parents while I finish my last semester of college. My parents have always been totally okay with my girlfriend staying over and she does very, very often- 6/7 nights a week which we spend almost every minute of in my bedroom talking, watching movies, etc. Tonight after getting off work very late and having a pretty shitty night I spent an hour or so with her then when she said she was going to come over I responded with something along the lines of "don't come over tonight. I really just wanna relax and play a game of league and go to sleep in a couple hours."
She always gets so upset when I say I don't want her to come over and normally I cave and say she can even though I just wanna spend a night alone. Am I being unreasonable in asking for some space occasionally? I do love this girl but sometimes I just don't wanna spend the night in my relatively small bedroom with her. We don't live together (she lives with her parents as well) and I imagine that having an apartment would be a little different where we could spend some time in different rooms. | Everytime I ask for a night at home without my girlfriend she gets sad or mad and says that a boyfriend shouldn't want space. Or that she should get one that doesn't need space. |
t3_1wynas | relationships | I [20 M] told my roommate[20 M] I'm Bi and that I want to have sex with him. | Background info: I've known him for about a year and a half. We share a room (separate beds). We've been living together for like 6 months. He's always known that I'm at least am a little bi. He is a virgin but I'm not.
I have been feeling more and more sexually attracted to him over the last month and every night I think about having sex with him. We were having an emotional conversation and I decided that it was the right time to tell him how I felt. He said that it took a lot of courage to admit that. He asked if I feel more attracted to guys when I'm not dating girls and I said yes but at the same time I'm still always attracted to guys.
Then something crazy happened.
He said he felt the same way sometimes. He was really scared about saying it. Like hyperventilating and having trouble talking. But then we talked for a while about how we both like girls but we also both like guys. I basically said if you ever want to have sex with me I'm down and we kept talking for a while and then he said "We should try something."
I walked across the room and knelt by his bed. There was a moment of silence and he said "No, I have to try to be straight. If I ever try this I may never want to go back."
We went to bed and avoided each other today and I don't know what to do. | I almost had sex with my roommate last night but he was afraid and we didn't. Should I give up? Should I give him some space then try again? |
t3_4drymu | relationships | Me [20 M] with my GF [22 F] almost 7 months, feeling neglected she has asked her ex to help her in a project. | So my GF(suffers of bipolar and depression) just told me yesterday that she asked her ex to help her with this project she is working on, after I told her I talked to a former friend of mine(female), who was my best friend.
Knowing my GF being the jealous kind I assured her I love her and that I told my friend about us and how I feel towards her.
I reacted to her news like an adult and said I trust her and I want what is best for her which is true, but I don't know why she would ask someone like her ex that, after what he did to her.
But what bothered me the most was that she went to her ex.
Who abused her and hurt her emotionally a lot even after she was hospitalized for her depression.
The thing that is driving me mad is that she told me about that project of hers by accident.
I even gave her some input to help her and she didn't even listen to it.
I told her I was upset and she was the reason why. She said "I am busy.". Which is always the way things are when I need to be comforted or were hurt.
Emotionally I'm feeling like the dude from that Offspring song Self-Esteem. I care and when I need her she isn't there.
We broke up twice during the sixth months. She was the one to break it up. And then we got back together. She would say she'd missed me and that she was depressed and pushing me away.
The second time we broke I was doing well and was happy, but I felt guilty. I knew she would be sad. So two days into the break up. I offered her to be friends, just like it was before we started dating.
I told her she should give me some space and one day out of nowhere I'll talk to her.
The same day she calls me to vent about her day.
She told me once : "You love me so much, I love you too. I keep taking and taking and I'm afraid I cant give back.". | feeling neglected and unloved by gf , she asked her ex for help not me. do not know if it is a healthy or unhealthy relationship. |
t3_20t0tn | relationships | My GF [16 F] of 17 months is having a lot of trouble with depression and it's weighing on me. | Alright, so I think I'll start off with a quick description of everything. Back in October of 2011, I was 14 and my now GF was 15. We got together after 7 months of talking, and all was fine.
She's never been an extremely happy person, but lately her personality/attitude has gotten much worse, to the point where she's constantly sad, stressing and having breakdowns.
Throughout the relationship, she's been sort of 'mean' to me, and I say 'mean' as it's not necessarily mean, but she can admittedly not be the nicest sometimes, whether it's a comment about how I always do such and such or just a short, one word response to get me to shut up.
I've been questioning our relationship for a while now, and now that she's gotten worse, the emotional burden she's carrying is starting to affect me, and I don't want to sound rude, but I don't know how much longer I can keep supporting her.
It's tiring and it's taking its toll on me. Her constant sadness is affecting me, making me sad due to the fact she isn't happy. However, at such an emotional part of her life, I don't want to upset her even more to the point where her actions become more drastic.
I know I should talk to her about this, but I want to avoid letting her know how I feel until I know myself, and while I think, I think that some outside input would really put things into perspective for me.
Am I an asshole if I break up with her? Should I stay with her till she gets better? What am I meant to do in this situation? Please, /r/relationships; help! | My girlfriend, after what's been a somewhat taxing relationship, is starting to get more depressed, and I can't handle it for much longer. What should I do? |
t3_u0a4z | relationship_advice | Girlfriend says she doesn't deserve me? | So... been dealing with this for a few weeks now.
First off, I'm abstinent until marriage, and she was raised this way but had sex when she got to college with a few different guys. And yet before we even started our relationship she agreed to go with my beliefs, as she feels that this is the correct way to go about a relationship, she just faltered in the past.
Lately, she has texted and called me about severe feelings of inadequacy as my girlfriend or future wife. I am much better academically than her, still a virgin, and have a much more stable family life than her. She feels that I could find someone smarter, more righteous etc. No matter what I tell her (that she is absolutely selfless for wanting to teach special ed, that she is wonderful for sacrificing basically all of her previous life, i.e. sex, alcohol, partying, for me) she still feels that I deserve better.
I ask myself all the time if I feel like I'm "settling," or just doing what's "comfortable," but I really feel that this is not the case. I pray about it all the time, and I am assured that God has led me to her and vice versa. She needs me, but I need her just as much. She has all the traits I miss, common sense, future plans, etc. I really do feel like we are meant to be, I just need help convincing her that she deserves me as much as I do her.
Now I know that reddit is largely atheist, agnostic, or some other form of slightly anti-religious people, I'm just asking if someone can give me some advice now that they know my beliefs and keep those beliefs in mind. Perhaps there's a Christian 20 year old that has been in the same situation as me? I know it's usually the girl in this situation, I just need help interwebz. | I'm a virgin, abstinent Christian 20-year-old male dating a Christian 19-year-old female who was raised abstinent but has stumbled. |
t3_t7abt | AskReddit | Reddit, tell me about your most memorable dreams. | I use the word memorable because dreams can be anything from ridiculously funny to a horrible nightmare.
I'll tell you guys mine first.
A little while after Inception came out, I was laying on my couch in the middle of the day and I fell asleep. I was in the middle of a normal dream (I don't actually remember what was happening before this) when I suddenly realized I was dreaming. I had some lucid dreams like this before, and I didn't really like how it felt, so I would usually just tell myself to wake up and then I would simply wake up. This time, I told myself to wake up, and nothing happened. I thought to myself, "Well usually if I die in my dreams, I wake up," so I climbed to the nearest building in my dreams and jumped off. Instead of waking up in real life, I woke up in an entirely new dream with an entirely new landscape. Again, I found a way to kill myself, and woke up in a different dream. This happened about 20 times before I thought "I'm not going to wake up. I'm stuck in a dream world forever." I decided to try killing myself one last time, and finally I woke up. I couldn't move for about a minute, and to this day it was the worst dream I've ever had. | Realized I was dreaming, tried to kill myself to wake up, woke up in a different dream instead, had to kill myself multiple times before I finally woke up. |
t3_29zyue | dogs | Advice needed: 2-year-old black lab is extremely reactive | Sorry for the long post. Just want to provide as much relevant detail as I can.
I rescued a lab mix about a year and a half ago from the humane society. She's been a great addition to our family. She is very smart, easily trained, and very gentle. She also loves our guinea pigs (which we were afraid she'd try to kill). Overall she's an awesome dog. The only remaining issue is her extreme reactivity.
She's very visually stimulated. She watches TV with us very intently and even has favorite commercials that she runs from across the house to watch when she hears them come on. The thing is that if there is any animal, especially horses or dogs, on the TV, she goes from zero to ten. She seems to be anxious because she whines and paces in front of the television between charging and barking aggressively at it. Even the sound of barking on the TV sends her to level ten.
This reactivity doesn't end with the TV. She does it outside on walks or in the car (sucks when she barks right in my ear). I had her on a prong collar for awhile because she's too powerful for my wife to walk on a leash if she decides to bolt (otherwise she perfectly heels consistently). Her trainer suggested an equipment change thinking the prong collar was amplifying her excitement. So now I have her on a no-pull harness. However, the reactivity continues.
She is still in her puppy phase with tons of energy and playfulness. She generally wants to play with other dogs but her loud barking and jumping while reacting is intimidating and the other dog owners are scared that she will be violent. And after a couple of dog park incidents (all with her being snapped at and reacting, but she is big and loud and looks violent), I'm afraid she might provoke a fight and hurt/kill someone's dog.
I've tried positive reconditioning, distractions, sending her to another room, making her heel/sit/stay/look (while walking). But there has been no improvement.
Does anyone have any advice on what to try next? | Dog is extremely visually reactive to animals on TV and to other dogs on walks. I've tried a few methods to recondition her but no luck. Need some advice. |
t3_4xsrsl | relationships | Me [29 M/F] and my Ex GF [24 M/F] of 4 years recently broke up, I still have strong feelings for her and it always turns our conversations hostile. | After four years of being with my ex, she broke up with me last month. Our relationship had its ups and downs, but she said she was emotionally exhausted. Recently we have started to hang out again as friends.
I have very strong feelings for her, and want to show her my affection. She doesn't mind being near me, even holding hands, but she refuses to kiss me or anything else. This frustrates me to no end. She insists that those feeling for me no longer exist. She wants me to move on, but I simply can't.
Before our breakup I had made a plan to propose to her which she doesn't know about. I still think of her tenderly, but when I try to talk to her about it she becomes very abrasive and makes it clear that she has no interest in me. I become emotional and the conversation often turns hostile, with each of us pointing to events during our relationship in which we slighted each other.
Each of us wants completely opposite things. I want us to get back together and she wants me to move on. How can I express my affection for her without violating her wishes? | I want to be with her, she doesn't want to be with me, we each want to be friends. How do get along? |
t3_3ojyue | personalfinance | College student with car least trouble | This may be an unsolvable problem but I figured I'd try this to see if anyone has any advice.
I'm a 19 year old college freshman. I got engaged to my high school sweetheart. He was supposed to be enlisted in the US navy with a sizable signing bonus, but he was medically discharged due to fractures in his back.
Before he left, he bought me a car as a good luck in college present. At the time, our future was financially secure. Now, not so much. I'm in school full time with 700 dollars a month in car payments and insurance plus everyday expenses and no real source of income (I'm an on campus host, I make about $85 a month) All the on campus jobs are already filled and since I'm residential on a rural campus there's not much in the way of off campus employment. He has not been able to find a job yet and the payments are piling up. Is there a way I can get out of this lease without paying the 8500 dollar lease breaking fee? Or some way to make that much money that I haven't thought of? I'm about to have to leave school because of this. Anything will help. Sorry if there are formatting issues, I'm on my phone. | I have 700 dollars a month in auto payments, no way to get out of the lease and no real employment. Advice would be helpful. |
t3_1imuqu | relationships | [M20] in a relationship [F20] and getting worried. Need advice | I've never actually asked for advice like this, so please excuse me if I screw this up.
I'll just start from square one. Ive started dating this wonderful, amazing, funny, beautiful girl. Lets call her Jess. I'm amazingly comfortable with her, something I've never fully been able to do with many girls. Having a great time together, but some things have started to worry me.
For one, she's kept every love letter and email ex boyfriends have sent her. She's on occasion read them to me, and I've tried to be cool and play it off, but I'm kind of uncomfortable with it. Secondly, she is in constant contact with her most recent Ex. She makes it a point to always make it clear that they're friends and nothing serious is there, but recently he's been saying that the chances of me making her happy are slim and that he loves her. Apparently some of what he says gets to her, and she says she has doubts and isn't sure. And lastly, She's definitely bi curious, but has said that if given the chance, she would definitely sleep with a girl if she could get away with it. And that's what is really bothering me. Jess and I have been together for a while, and I feel pretty committed to her, but her saying that kind of felt like she was admitting that she would cheat of me if the chance arose. Am I freaking out about this unnecessarily? Am I looking to much into this? I want this to work, but my doubts have really started to bother me. I'm confused and afraid and don't know what to do. Any advice would help. | girlfriend keeps all old love letters, constantly talks to ex that wants to break us up, and has said she would sleep with a girl if given the chance. |
t3_2qbo25 | Advice | Problem with friends' group chat | My group of 'friends' uses an app called Whatsapp for group chats. There are 3: One for all the boys, one for all the girls, and a big one for everyone. I (A boy) am in the boys' chat, but not the girls' chat. I am also not in the big group chat.
The admin of the big chat is a small boy that doesn't have many friends outside of the group as people see him for what he is; Selfish, manipulative, misogynistic (He thought it was funny to slap his drunk girlfriend in front of the boys).
Anyway, he's never liked me and I suppose being the admin gives him some 'power' over me.
I am not allowed in the big chat and no-one will give me a solid reason, so I would like to find out what the reason is so I can fix the situation. It makes me feel ostracised when someone says something funny on it and I can't read it.
For all I know someone could be talking about me behind my back on it and I would look like an idiot.
A few of the boys and a few of the girls feel sorry for me, and I'm on good terms with the ones that don't care.
I have been in the chat previously, six months ago and a time before that but each time I was suddenly removed for no reason, other than it may have been funny.
Physically, I could beat the crap out of this boy but that's over-the-top. Any time I mention the topic it causes arguments between the two sides (People that want me back and people that oppose that idea). I don't like the idea of leaving the group entirely because I've known a few of them for five years and I don't want to believe that they simply turned against me for the 'banter', as they would say.
How can I find out the reason I'm not in the chat without causing arguments or too many people finding out because then it would be used to humiliate me. | Kicked from group chat numerous times, most recently 6 months ago, rivalry with admin of group chat, how can I find out why I'm not in it and fix it. |
t3_3cylas | relationships | I [19 M] like this [19? F] girl who goes to my university, but I'm pretty certain she doesn't even know I exist | The girl is roughly the same age as me, but I'm not sure if she's 19 or 20. We were both freshmen last semester and she graduated high school the same year I did, so she can't be *too* old.
Anyway, she's a very beautiful girl and seems to be very friendly and caring. I, on the other hand, am not the greatest looking guy. I had class with her last semester, but it was a large class and I had just gotten into a relationship (didn't last long).
I'd love to talk to her, but we're home from school for the summer and we live probably an hour apart (possibly more) and I've never spoken to her in person so I don't want to creep her out by sending her a message out of nowhere.
I'm also afraid that I'm out of her league. Although she doesn't seem like the type of person who would immediately reject me without giving me a chance, there's always the possibility that it could happen and I've had it happen in the past.
Should I just take a chance and send her a message? I don't really have *that* much to lose, I'm just terrified of being humiliated. | Girl is gorgeous; I'm supbar on a good day. I don't know the girl but I'm afraid to talk to her out of fear of rejection/humiliation. Should I just take a chance? |
t3_1zh6pc | relationships | Me [20/F] found out my bf [23/M] was cheating on me. He said he confessed everything, but I am still in doubt. Would it be wrong to contact the other woman over Face Book and ask for her side of the story? | Alright, I'll try and keep this short and sweet. Bf and I have been together 2 years, and most of it has been distance. We broke up once, around our 1.5 year anniversary. There were many reasons, but one of which was because he was conflicted about feelings with another girl. When we were broken up, he slept with her.
We saw each other over break, and before agreeing to get back together with him, I asked that he tell me if he was unfaithful *not counting the break up.* I told him the only way I would take him back is if he told me everything then and there, so that we could both acknowledge what happened and move on. He said everything that happened was only during the break up.
Fast forward to this past weekend. We were both drunk, and it comes out that while we were definitely together before the break up, he fingered another girl. Things blew up, and I grilled him, demanding that he tell me everything. He was adamant that this last fact was all there was.
However, I can't shake this doubt that maybe it really wasn't everything. It is killing me. All I want is to know the truth, if it turns out that he lied yet again, and that there is more to the story, I am leaving him. But all I have is his word. The only other option I see is trying to message this other girl on fb, and asking her for her side of the story. Now let me be clear, I am not going to bully her, cuss her out, or berate her. I plan on being as respectful as possible, and asking her if she would please tell me what happened between them.
All I want to know is.. is this a bad idea? Would this be crossing the line, seeing as we've never even met before? I know it is a difficult subject to bring up with a stranger, but would it be completely wrong to do so? I'm so conflicted. | BF cheated on me a few months ago, feel like he's hiding everything he did. Should I fb message the other woman and ask her for answers? |
t3_4dbbca | relationship_advice | This is my first relationship (1.5 years); am I [m21] loosing attraction to my gf [21] or is this what "getting comfortable" feels like? | For the past 1-2 months I have not felt any desire to do anything physical with my girlfriend; whether it be kissing, holding hands, sex, or even just hanging out more than once a week (mainly because I of not wanting to do physical things). I have no idea why either, because nothing has changed that would cause me to suddenly loose attraction to her, which is why it is hard for me to end it with her. I also can't imagine not having her. She is super nice to me, we click on so many levels, and she's just such a good catch. As I said, she is attractive to me (even has my ideal body shape which is cool).
On the flip side, I WANT to feel like initiating these sort of things and make it real. I try faking it and it just doesn't work for me. And she is a very physical person with a high libido. Having her say "what's wrong?" every time I stop kissing her or am doing it half-assed because I don't feel like it, or even not getting hard for sex, is killing me. She always says "it's okay, sex is not a big deal to me. I still love you."
I thought it was just me and I had a low libido, but; the other day at work one of my coworkers wanted to show me something on her phone. She obviously had to get close to me, and ended up touching me with her side, which resulted in me getting slightly turned on, from that alone. She's not even that attractive, yet I am still slightly attracted.
So yeah, if any of you could just put your thoughts/advice in on this that would be much appreciated. I know I ultimately have to make my own decision, but I like hearing other opinions first. | losing attraction to my girlfriend, who is otherwise an "ideal" girl for me, for what seems like no reason. |
t3_1lbj7n | relationships | Hello friends! My man(25) does not like my(26F) body. Share your thoughts? | Friends, I am going through a phase with my partner. He is legally, a genius. He is a prodigy graphic artist, has exceptional taste and can express himself with complete awareness. We've been together 6 years and have a baby 1 year old. He does not like my body. He, as many other men, likes an ass on her girl. I do not have an ass. It's embarrassing to say, what girl wants to admit that but it's the truth. He looks at other woman constantly, in perversion. He has asked me to get butt fat transfer from my belly. I considered it but decided against it. I couldn't sleep last night and came to read a little reddit, on his screen an icon with the word "Mujer" I open it and its a confession to me. Telling me about his absolute love and his duality. Him against his mind. A human with desires and feelings. He is special and I thank him for being himself. Yet, I feel uncomfortable when nude and while in front of him. I let this lower my self-confidence, friends how can I be fully confident within myself? | my man doesn't doesn't like my butt, would like me to be more curvaceous, not sure how to be fully confident? |
t3_1nv9ak | relationships | I [m/19] caused my mate's [m/21] SO [f/18] to cheat on him with me. He knows, and I'm fearful. | I've always been the most respectful guy. But I made a somewhat cliche mistake. I broke bad. I had one too many drinks this weekend and caused a good friend of mine to lose all trust in me. I plotted and schemed behind his back to have an evening with his girlfriend, who are not a functional couple as it is. Regardless, there's no excuse.
This morning, at work, I start getting all the calls and threats roll in. Needless to say, I'm freaking out. I don't blame the guy at all. I'm something between surprised and ashamed that I even managed to pull any of this off.
I only recently came out of a relationship where I was being cheated on to a far lesser degree, and that took enough of a toll on me. I can only imagine what my friend is feeling. I know he will likely never forgive me. I have some important work stuff at his house, he'll probably burn it.
Anyway, I want to know what the noble human way of dealing with this is? Do I go rogue for a while? Do I invite him to break my nose? I really need an outside opinion here, and I don't expect any kindness. What I did was inexcusable, I know that better than anyone. Also, please realise that when everyone finds out, it's going to be a big shock. Extremely out of character. | Took advantage of my friend's failing relationship for my own satisfaction and gratification. There was no hiding it, he found out 48 hours later and now he's on a rampage. I even fear for his SO's safety. |
t3_2r7x5f | legaladvice | [CA, USA] Should I attempt to contest my mothers will? | Hey everyone. It's kind of a long story, so I will shorten it up as best I can and hopefully you guys can give me some advice.
My mother adopted my nephew when he was about 2. My older sister had a problem with drugs, as did the babys father. My mother raised him as best she could, but she had Huntington's Disease. She inherited it from her mother. She was diagnosed and the symptoms started coming on pretty strong. She had a will drawn up that would protect her and her kids, including her adopted son. The trust was set up so that he would be taken care of until he turns 25. At the time, he was about 7. About a year after the will was prepared, the state took the child away from her. She spent years obsessed with him and tried to get him back through the courts, but they stripped her of her parental rights and he was adopted again. Shortly after that, other legal matters came to light and she turned her attention away from my nephew and on to other things. She didn't see him at all for about 5 1/2 years before she passed away. He is now 15, and my mothers lawyer is saying that all of the assets of the family are to be held in trust, and all income from rental property is to be used for his benefit until he is 25.
So now after throwing away my career to spend years helping my disabled mother I am left with nothing for the next decade while every last dime the estate makes goes to him. Of course, the will stipulates that I cannot apportion my share, contest the will or anything like that without losing my inheritance.
Is it worth it to try to get a lawyer of my own to try to throw out the will on the grounds of her being unfit due to illness? Am I just fucked? I know it is unlikely that they would throw it out, but I really don't have any suitable alternatives. I pretty much gave up everything I had to help my mother make ends meet and help her with her day to day needs. | Mother adopted nephew then the state took him due to inability to care for him. She never changed her will, then inherited millions in property and then died shortly after. Do I try to contest the will? |
t3_2warcr | relationship_advice | I [15/m] don't know what to do with her [18/f]. | Alright, I'll admit it: I need help.
First off, I'd be happy being ''just friends'' with this girl who we'll just call Lisa, but I want so much more. I really only met her once, until the Friday before last. I'm instantly greeted with a hug and ''I missed you so much!''. I was actually surprised she remembered my name, because the last/first time I met her was at least 4 months ago. Anyway, I was at my brothers when all this stuff went down because every weekend we just drink and chill-out. So she shows up with her sister and my cousin, and they want to start drinking right away. Nobody was drinking alot, but people were definitely on a level. At one point, it was me, Lisa, and my brother in the garage where we usually hang out. We decided to take a Snapchat (I was terrified, because I have social anxiety, so I hate pictures, and social media stuff. For some reason, it didn't apply when I would talk to Lisa), and I was supposed to take the picture, because I apparently have the longest arm, just because I'm 6'4. I couldn't figure out how to set it up, and my brother had his back turned because he went to the radio to change the music. I gave Lisa her phone, saying I couldn't figure it out. She just looked at me while smiling, and kissed me. I obviously kissed back, because She's the most beautiful girl I've met, and I really like her personality. I don't know what to make of it. Was she just being nice? Was she into me? She wasn't drunk at the time, but she did get pretty wasted later, so my biggest fear, is that she doesn't even remember it.
I can't stop thinking about her. I don't have a phone, so I wouldn't be able to text or something. I use a | Made out with a girl I met twice. Can't stop thinking about her, and don't know if she remembers. |
t3_2zkmok | relationships | Person I've been dating [20F] and I [18M] had a serious talk about our relationship and I'm not sure how I feel. | I've never dated anyone before [Trixie]. I'm been kinda worried about several things in this relationship, most pertaining to my own inexperience.
About a month ago we started off pretty heavy, we went to a party, got drunk and I slept in [Trixie] bed. We went on a few dates and I've spent the night at her place on multiple occasions since then. This have been going fairly well...or so I thought.
After hanging out and making dessert the other night [Trixie] had a talk with me about some stuff. She said she felt sometimes like we were just "friends who kiss". She feels like she is trying way to hard and that she isnt ever super sure that I want her. She also mentioned how she doesnt particularly like being the physically forward one all the time and she feels like she almost gets "shot down" when she makes a move and feels hurt by my lack of matched enthusiasm. She wants to be wanted. (Hopefully that is a good summary...)
I am fairly passive, not sure what is and is not okay to do or what is expected of me in a romantic relationship and not entirely sure how I feel romantically towards her. (My mild "performance issues" most likely also has to do with my inexperience and not so much with her but idk)
Anyway, I spoke with my very close friend [Mary] and she said that, though it is apparent to her that I WANT to want her, I don't have that romantic fire [Trixie] may be looking for. The longer I stay with her the more hurt she will be later because those feelings for her are just not in me.
So I spent most of the day moping, going over what to say to [Trixie] in my head and going through the different scenarios in my head. I really dont want to hurt her in any way now OR later but I'm just not sure of my feelings towards her as far as anything past "friends" and I don't want to drag this out if it's not working. | Girl I've been dating feels like I'm not giving it my all. I'm not sure how I feel about her and don't want to hurt her later on. |
t3_25gzwl | relationships | I [M21] have been seeing a girl [F23] for about a year. Tried a few times to break up with her, she wants to be FWB. I'd like that, but i'm not sure if she knows what she's getting into. | Even though she's older than me, she's very naive when it comes to dating/men and has a lot less experience than i do.
Ive always seen our relationship as purely sexual, but lately she's been showing signs of pretty deep romantic interest. i've tried to break up with her because i don't want a serious relationship and i'm pretty sure she does--in short, i feel like it's unfair for me to drag her along.
I broke up with her recently and now she's saying that she wants to be friends with benefits (FWB's herein). we're a really great sexual fit, so i'd like to do that. but **here's the problem:**
I'm not sure if she's doing this just so she can spend time with me, and have 'some of me' as opposed to having none of me. I'm not sure if she knows what she's signing on for; i'm already having sex with other women.
I want to protect her feelings, but I also want to respect her agency/intelligence by not assuming she's ignorant about what she's getting into. she was pretty adamant that this is what she wants and insists that she will be okay with it. | Ending a relationship with inexperienced girl, she wants to be FWB's. not sure if she knows what she's signing on for, but i also want to respect her agency. WHAT DO I DO? |
t3_rbdhy | AskReddit | Can you help solve a dispute between my SO and I? The solution is now narrowed down to what Reddit thinks. | We have two VERY old cars and can't come to an agreement on which one to trade in. We have planned to go today to purchase or lease a pre-owned car. Here is what we have.
2002 Jeep Liberty (maroon) - 96,111 miles. Has a muffler problem that needs to be fixed to the tune of 1,500 bucks. We are having a hard time justifying putting that much money into such an old car. This is my car. I drive this one. I do love it, but it gets horrible gas mileage.
1997 Honda CR-V (dark green) - 168,000 miles. This thing has been such a good car and we have not been able to get rid of it. It gets great gas mileage. It has been easy to fix, but it is SOOO OLD.
Can you help us Reddit? We need mediators. | Need to update one of my cars today. My SO and I can't decide which one of our cars to get rid of - a 2002 Jeep or a 1997 Honda. |
t3_2tsk30 | relationships | Me [19F] crushing on [20F], I have no idea how to get out there to let her know I'm interested w/o being creepy, I'm creepy | Alright, crushing hard. Like hard, hard. Since August 2014.
No idea how to talk to her.
Added her on Facebook and followed on Instagram.
I talked to her and had a class with her.
Facebook messages went absolutely no where and I don't know where to go now.
I want to message her, but I pretty much am very awkward with people that I like.
I feel like I should become her friend, but that is almost impossible because of awkwardness.
I want to date her, but I have a terrible sense of who is lesbian or not.
Seen some photos on Facebook where she is in church, and I've had some horrible past experiences with girls who go to church.
What should I do?
Last FB message was Dec. 17th, 2014. I feel like it's been too long to try to strike up conversation again.
All my friends tell me to try to message her or just go up to her, but she is always with friends.
She's also liked some of my posts on Instagram so maybe that's good. | No idea if crush is lesbian, too scared to talk to her, I think I creeped her out by trying to show interest. What should I do? |
t3_1m8ojy | dating_advice | Should I continue with attempts in that direction? | Hello, I'm 27M and she is 28F. We are kinda colleagues, but we don't work at one place and meet mostly on team buildings or other company-related occasions. She is nice and polite, and hmmmm... let's say "popular" in the male environment. She had a bad brake with her last boyfriend year or two ago. AFAIK, she is single now.
I often go hiking in the nature and I'm taking photos. She has seen them and likes them very much - like "Ohh, I'm dying to go there" or "I will do everything to be there". I have offered her to go with me some times, but she is evasive - like "We will see" or "Excellent idea, but my cat is sick, call me the other time" or "Who else is going"
I finally got her out the last time - during the Perseids meteor shower. It was a partially success. I got her out on a hour drive away from the city to watch the falling stars. She was around for about 30 minutes and then she got cold. I offered cuddling to warm her and she accepted. After a few minutes she went back to the car to sleep. It was Monday evening and I can accept that it was a harsh work day and everyone could be exhausted in the middle of the night.
Anyway, I got the impression she did not liked the experience from that night. But after a few days when I saw her she was "Oh, it was great, call me for the next activity". I don't know if she really mean it.
The thing that puts me back is that every time I'm the one that suggests an activity and she does not take anything first. | I have proposed tons of activities that she avoided. I am afraid if she gets insolent opinion of me. Should I continue? |
t3_2vt0lr | relationships | my (f23) best friend (f24) of a decade just told me she didnt care my gma was dying... then i got the call saying my gma passed | basically i woke up on the wrong side of the bed, two missed calls from my "best friend" so i called back. told her about my morning she basically said she didnt want to hear about it because "its stuff i can fix and dont". (she's on her period if that matters)
well she went as far to say "dont call her when i need her" and i said "i never need you our friendship is equal you dont do anything i cant do for myself" and she was like "well dont tell me about your grandma dying"... well, i told her to never contact me again.
moments after all this, i leave and go to a friends to cool off... then get the call saying my grandma died...
im screaming noooo and am hysterical. i drive really crazy home. she just got diagnosed with cancer and it took her really quick. she is the person who taught me everything i know. im so heartbroken. i didnt get to see her or say goodbye bc ive lived 5 hrs away for 9 years. i saw her in oct 2013 last.
on top of losing my grandma i lost my best friend bc i can't imagine forgiving her after telling her my grandma died and she said "i dont care tell your other friends that bullshit".
this just made my grieving a million times harder and on top of it all my grandma is not getting buried or having a funeral. she was in her 60s... were scattering her ashes on her bday in the ocean where we all grew up.
i just hate everything right now. i have to close doors and shit and i'm not good at it. i dont know how she could be so mean like my ex bf ... ive destroyed his stuff and cussed out his grandma... and he'd hug me right now. | best friend started a fight with me and talked shit about me talking about my dying grandma and then she died so im really angry at the world |
t3_1ijskn | relationships | Me[18M], can't forget a girl? | So it begins in 6th grade when I first meet this girl. Almost instantly I fall for her and it takes me 2 years for me to confess to her. It doesn't really work out and I try again and formally ask her out during 9th grade. Surprise, surprise, doesn't work out again. So I try moving on, and she starts dating another guy during 10th grade; I convince myself that I'm over her and life continues. Yet here I am, going off to college with her still in my mind. She's still dating that guy from 10th grade and although for the most part I've let that part of my life go, I'm still feeling pretty shitty about all this. I've never dated a girl in my life, and I'm going off to college now. So, any tips on not falling in this pit and also for future endeavors? I've never wanted a relationship this bad until recently (yet another girl who led me on then went back to her ex, partly my fault for acting on her signals when she was obviously not over her ex totally even though she said so) and this event made me realize how lonely I am. I'm grateful for some of my friends who are just the best friends in the world and I often game to keep my mind off these things but I can help but feel horrible. Thanks for reading everyone and any advice would be welcome. | girl I start liking in 6th grade until 12 grade is fruitless makes me feel terrible, advice for this not happening in the future |
t3_1qjwg3 | loseit | In a Calorie Deficit but I don't feel hungry? | Hey guys long time lurker but actually got started on doing some work on myself I apologize for the long post . I have been extremely in active the past 3 years because of my job and that in conjunction with free food/laziness/lack of discipline I gained about 80 pounds. My brother ended up losing 40 pounds on weight watchers and I wanted to try something similar. I been going to the gym twice a week the past 3 weeks and this past week I have been using my fitness pal app to track calories and it told me to lose weight I need to eat 1850 calories or less. I have been tracking and for the most part have been eating around 1400-1500 calories. My question is if I eat subway once a day and I am hitting the goals it gave me in the chart and I am still well into a calorie deficit is that okay? | Gained 80 pounds past few years trying to lose weight via calorie deficit and some exercise. Maintaining calorie deficit but can I eat anything I want as long as staying below allotted calories? |
t3_34ob2n | relationships | I'm [20F] white, my BF [21M] is Asian. Not sure how to deal with my family's off-hand racism | As the title says, I'm in an interracial relationship with a great guy. We've officially been dating for 4 months, but have been talking/seeing each other for a total of roughly 8 months.
My family is from a rural and predominantly white area of our province, and have not had a lot of exposure to other races and cultures. I met my boyfriend after moving to a large and very diverse city for school (you could probably guess which city I'm talking about).
My boyfriend has met my immediate family a few times, once spending a weekend with them at my family's house. He's met my extended family once at an Easter gathering.
The point of me making this post is that my family (mostly my extended family) has shown to be kind of racist, although not to his face. They don't directly make racist remarks about him, but there have been quite a few insensitive "jokes" made to me about it. For instance, I was eating dinner with my uncle (as I currently live with him) when the topic of me going to visit my boyfriend came up. My uncle proceeded to motion towards the bowl of rice on the table and jokingly asked if I wanted to take some over for him and his family. Considering I'm living at my uncle's house for free, I don't feel entirely comfortable starting any kind of argument, although in any other situation I'd call him out on it. There have been other instances similar to this from a couple other members of my family, and it makes me feel really uncomfortable.
My boyfriend doesn't know very much about my family's racism, at least not these kinds of remarks. I guess I was wondering if other couples in interracial relationships had this kind of experience and how they dealt with it. I don't know if I should bring any of this up to him, because I really don't want him to feel bad or unwelcome or uncomfortable if we go to gatherings together. | My family can be kind of racist and I'm not sure how to deal with it in regards to my family or my boyfriend. |
t3_253ugu | relationships | I(28m) feel like my wife(26f) is crossing lines with her exfiance(28m) and found texts that made me feel completely justified. Help? | I went through my wife's phone that she left at home while she is overnight with her parents and the kids. Her is our backstory:: My wife and I married young, when she got pregnant with our now 6 year old son. But despite that we have made it work and have a fairly strong relationship--another son, we own our own home, we still have sex, etc.
Recently we have had some issues but that is just a stepping stone. The real issue is Wyatt-- or as I call him FuckingWyatt. Wyatt was her former fiance, her first kiss, first everything. When I met her, they were planning a wedding and madly in love. But it ended extremely poorly. With him getting into an accident on his 21st birthday and the death of her brother who was also Wyatt's best friend.
Obviously that hurt their relationship and somehow in the aftermath we ended up in bed. And then baby makes three. But we made it work. And made a lot of happiness come out of that.
But now he is back in the picture. He ended up contacting her on fb and she invited him to a family bbq-- where he showed off his 5 year AA chip and was overly interested in our sons.
She made me feel stupid for all my protests with the continued contact. Like I was crazy, then I found some texts on her phone. I think some have been deleted from him but all of hers are gone-- I can only imagine she wanted his as mementos? But here are some that bother me:
Him:I think for me it will always be you.
Him: It will be hard, but I won't let you regret it if we get this chance for another go. I will love you. I will love your sons. I will make it up to you everyday. | Wife told me I was crazy for disliking her friendship with her exfiance, the man who killed her brother, and found love texts from him. What do I even do? |
t3_53tzle | relationships | I [32F] overheard my boss [61F] gossiping about me and don't know what to do | Feeling very anxious and upset right now and thought I'd ask for advice. Basically, I overheard a conversation between my direct supervisor and our executive director criticizing me personally. They thought I had left the office I think so were gossiping about me. Specifically, my ED was complaining I had not been smiling lately, that i seemed so damn unhappy, would it kill me to smile, etc. My supervisor joked that she wants to shake me sometimes because I guess its annoying Im not more upbeat.
They both know I've been diagnosed with depression and anxiety and am seeking medical help. Previously, I had overheard them joking and making light of my mental health issues over the phone - our walls are pretty thin at work, so I think they assumed I couldn't hear. When I told them that I overheard them in the past and that it made me feel uncomfortable, they more or less said I overreacted.
I just feel really upset as before I thought it was a one time thing but now it seems that its been going on for a while and is a regular occurrence. I have no idea how to handle it. We are a small staffed place and have no HR department. Should I just keep this to myself and try to forget it is happening? I think it would only cause them to talk more if I confront them again. I've never had any complaints about my work so not sure why they hate me so much but just worried about my future there since they seem to dislike me. | Overheard my direct supervisor and boss gossiping about me personally. Feeling very anxious and not sure how to handle it. |
t3_3mmwyd | relationships | Me [22 M] with my _GF__ [20 F] of 2 years, are struggling dealing with her parents who don't care she has depression | I'll first start off by saying my gf is the type of person who is very reserved with her feelings. She struggled with a bit of depression last year and just within the past month it has come back and hit her pretty hard. Well after a couple weeks of noticing she was struggling but her not wanting to talk about it she finally decided to admit to me that she was struggling with depression and seeing a counselor. Reasons for depression are not living up to expectations at college, at home (parents), and then struggling with being apart now that I have recently started grad school a few hours away.
Just yesterday she finally mustard up enough courage to tell her parents that she was struggling with depression and was so upset (bawling) that she had to stay the night at my apartment rather than drive home during the night. Her parents are extremely old fashioned/religious and did not agree with her decision even though she specifically said she slept in a different room. Her dad proceeded to tell her that her depression was "a bunch of crap, to get it together, and not to mess it up for herself by continuing to do this or they would bring her home and stop paying for college". Her mom replied by saying "if she can't figure out whats wrong with herself to quit her job and to quit school...if she can't handle it since (my gf) was the one that chose to go there". Not once did either parent even acknowledge the depression...
I spoke with her parents as briefly as possible saying I care about their daughter very much, I really want her to be happy, and I think it would help her tremendously if they gave her support. To which the mom replied "this is my fourth daughter, I've dealt with plenty of drama, she knows how her parents roll and I don't need your advice". | My gf struggled to finally admit to her parents she had depression, they told her it was "a bunch of crap and to get it together" |
t3_nibqt | AskReddit | Reddit i need some ideas to possibly change lives. | I just got off the phone with my best friend after a long and inspiring conversation. I believe she is a prime candidate for speaking to high school students in order to motivate and inspire them. Here's some info.
Moved out of her parents house after finishing high school at 18, graduated FIDM at 19, and began doing cover art for major video games (Call of Duty, Red Faction, Ghost Recon, Dark Spore) to name a few. She's now a 21 year old graphic designer working for a successful teen magazine in Los Angeles.
The conversation consisted of advice she would bestow on her younger sister who's a freshman in high school. The speech she gave really touched me. Every point she made really hit my heart in regards to my high school experience. If i heard those things when i was 16 years old i think it would have made a difference in my life. Just listening to her sounded like she was prepared to do this kind of thing. I think teens would really look up to her and heed her advice.
She would like to do it but we're not exactly sure how to go about it. Should we contact schools? Should we make videos? Please give me any ideas! I really appreciate input. :D | My friend is a prime candidate to be an inspirational speaker at high schools, any ideas on how to go about manifesting this? |
t3_469lac | relationships | I [25/f] am at a loss of why my SO [33/M] of about 7 months wants space after finding out that I might have cancer. | 7 months in a relationship isn't that long, I know.. but we fell fast and hard. We have discussed kids and marriage and he knows I am head over heels in love with him and would do anything for him.
We have not been exclusive (well he has not been, he wants to be able to see other women while I only see him...I've been patient with him while he is figuring himself out and his life out. We have both been married and divorced before, he has been divorced twice...so I get why another relationship might be too much) and he told me about a month into our relationship that he might have HPV because his ex had it.
Well cut to now and my annual pap came back abnormal with high risk HPV/low grade squamous intraepithelial lesion aka this is the beginning stages of cervical cancer.
I am getting a biopsy done and will find out soon how far the cancer has progressed and what any ramifications will be.
However, when I shared this to my SO, he was very cold. He said that he needs his space. And we can try and get together next time I am free.
There is a huge snow storm coming into this area right now so I am not sure when I will see him again anyway.
But I just am unsure why he would be pulling away and if this is a recipe for disaster? | Just found out I am in early stages of cervical cancer and SO needs his alone time. Why would he do this? |
t3_o432k | AskReddit | Help! Time Warner Cable Termination Fee | I am closing on my house on Jan. 13th and finally moving out of the apartment life. The house just so happens to be out of the service area for Time Warner Cable, even though I am moving from 141st street to 151st street. The only provider is Comcast, which I have heard some pretty terrible things about, but it's better than living in the dark ages with no internet or cable.
Apparently back in May 2010 I was automatically renewed into a two-year contract, which doesn't expire until Feb. 2013. Since I cannot transfer my current service with Time Warner to the house, I am stuck with breaking this new contract and paying up to $250 for an early termination fee. I spoke with a Time Warner representative yesterday and she was less than helpful or understanding and basically told me "tough shit".
Does anyone have any advice on how I could possibly get around paying the $250? I am already paying out the ass to close on the house, and this isn't really something I budgeted for. I would be willing to shell out a bit of money, but just not $250. | Time Warner wants to charge me $250 for a early termination fee because they don't service the area where I bought a house, and I don't really want to pay that. |
t3_qjzzm | relationships | How do I avoid losing my best mate? | Right then, firstly the facts:
I'm a 24 YO Guy who's had my best mate for about 4 years, met through work and it's as much of a bromance as any other. Or it was.
Basically I've recently returned from 8 months of travelling the world, which was a fantastic time, I've bettered myself and grown as a person (mentally that is, physically I've lost a 5th of my weight and am now down to 12st yay!)
Whilst I was away my best mate has finally stopped a rather destructive infatuation with a woman he used to date whom he was looking for a full-on LTR/Marriage with but was going no-where and has now found himself a new girl. I've met her and she seems great and they seem to be a good match.
However in the time I've been back, which is now over a month I've only seen him three times which compared to how things were before I went away is a minuscule fraction.
At least a part of the problem as I see it is the fact I'm currently getting back into "normal" life again and so am without a job and fairly low on cash, meaning I can't go out and do much.
I in no way want to get in between my mate and his bird as I'm exceptionally happy for him, but at the same time I can't help but feel we're possibly drifting irreparably apart which I'd do anything to avoid. | I travelled for 8 months, on my return my best mate has a new mrs (happy about this) but I seem to be drifting from him as a friend, how can I stop this whilst not interrupting their relationship? |
t3_3qrpu3 | relationships | I [24 M] am ready to propose to my girlfriend [23 F] of two years in less than two weeks, but the jeweler didn't order my ring. | I have a diamond in my family that I was planning on using to propose to my girlfriend in a little over a week. I have a ring picked out, and I put the deposit down. I ordered the ring four week ago, and it was supposed to take about four weeks to make and ship it. I called the jewelry store today, and apparently the jeweler I talked to never actually put in the order.
Now, before I go any further, I really do think that this was an honest mistake. They were incredibly helpful, and apparently it wasn't ordered because the company that was supposed to send the ring sent a follow-up question that was never answered. Of course I'm angry at the situation, but it is what it is, and there isn't a whole lot I can do about that.
That being said, I was planning on proposing in a little over a week, and, at this point, am wondering what the best course of action is. I've been doing a really good job of pretending that the engagement is a ways off, all so that when I do propose it will be that much more of a surprise. I've done pretty much everything I can to prepare, but this obviously throws a pretty big wrench in the plan.
On the logistical end, I have this whole plan - my parents have made hotel reservations, friends have requested off work, etc. - that is taking place on a specific date, and I don't know if I should postpone it.
The real issue comes down to whether I should propose with my grandma's ring (If this is relevant, it's pretty much exactly the opposite of what my girlfriend wants in a ring) on the planned date, or whether I should wait and propose with the actual ring. My two lines of reasoning are that a) she may just be happy enough - after I explain the story - that I'm proposing, or that b) it may be important to her to show everyone the *actual* ring. I'm leaning toward keeping the engagement on scedule as of right now. Any insight would be much appreciated! | Jeweler messed up my ring order, and I don't know whether to keep the engagement on schedule or not. Any insight would be incredibly helpful. |
t3_2t1f2e | pettyrevenge | Don't want to take your stuff after you move out? I'll dispose of it for you... | Well, this is my first ever Petty Revenge post. Here goes!
My old roommate decided it was time for him to get his own place with his girlfriend. I, of course, am ecstatic - he's a damn slob. I let him know he had a week to get the rest of his stuff out after he moved, and he agreed on this, so I gave him a week...
This week comes, and passes, and here I am left with a whole bunch of his shit lying around my house.
So what do I do? I throw every. Goddamn. Thing. Away. Everything. ALL of his pots and pans? Gone. Any cute little Halo knick-knacks he had? Trashed. Everything he'd left in his room (including lots of clothes and other things)? Out they go!
He came over, about a couple of months later to get his motorbike (which is currently in pieces in my garage). He'd been paying $20 a month for the rent for the garage only, as was agreed upon, so I was kind enough to not throw all of that out (Though he didn't actually pay the rent for it until he showed up...). He inquired, briefly, about where the rest of his stuff went, as he was missing "a few" things, and I kindly let him know that I got rid of them when he didn't show up to take them. (Also got my key back and gave it to my new roommate.)
Revenge is sweet. | Roommate didn't show up to take his stuff back. I threw it ALL away. Mwahahaha! |
t3_10f4kf | relationships | Friends, Interested or more?! | Ok people I need some help please otherwise I'm going have a heart attack because this has been on my mind for 3 days now and I need some sort of closure.
I [18M] have pretty much loved this girl [18F] for the past 3 years. She is smart, beautiful and.. ticks every fucking box. Every boy I have met thinks the same. However she is very nice, friendly, and has never actually been in a relationship. We have been in the same school/classes since a long time ago.
After being good friends and hanging out alot I decided to take my chances and ask her out. This was at the age of 16 (just leaving school). She said she just wanted to stay friends and I was fine with that so we moved on. We started going to the same college and didnt hang out all that much due to different classes. However we always did when we crossed paths/were out at drinking. By this time we are 18 and always seeing each other at clubs. I always seem to start the conversations/go up to her but she does always talk and seems happy to see me. This has happened for the past year.
On Friday we were at the same club but I decided not to go up to her because I want to move on and just seeing her is emotionally killing me. Later on she comes up to me (seldom does) and says hi. So I turn around and we do the standard hugs and "hey how are you?". Except this time she kisses me on the cheek and seems really glad to see me. We talk about her going off to University (which she just has this week) and she says how she's going to miss me and that she will see me around Christmas. She then hugs me again, kisses me on the cheek again and says bye..
Note** She does not do this to her other friends (boys) and isnt the very 'outgoing lovey, relationship type person'. I have been in a couple relationships but nothing serious. | Asked her out, she wanted to be friends, 2 years later shows signs she wants to be maybe be more. She has gone to uni now. |
t3_auw0v | relationship_advice | Hey Reddit, I am single and my friends are playing 'match-maker', how do I fight feeling awkward when I meet my potential 'match'... | I am 26 and many of my friends have begun to settle down. I think that they believe that I should be settling down also. In the past year I have been invited to parties and caught my friends 'secretly' trying to find me a woman, though sometimes they have given me a heads-up and told me they would introduce me to someone. I really have no problem with the whole intrusive nature of the thing since I don't feel obligated to react in a specific way, hey--if she is nice and I am attracted to her I'll give it a shot! The only thing that bothers me is the way in which the whole situation seems contrived and stilted. I find it very similar to being set up on a blind date, only I can't simply dine and dash since most of these people belong to one or another circles of friends and we are likely to meet at other functions. This is specially hard because i tend to either be completely taken by a person or completely bored within the first few minutes of meeting someone. | Friends are setting-me-up to meet people, how do I get used to the anxiety and awkwardness at being placed such an artificial situation? |
t3_3ypyj8 | relationships | Me [29 M/F] with my GF [22 M/F] of 5 months, a guy posted a sex article on her FB, she got defensive | Hello,
So I saw this guy friend of hers, who's been trying to flirt with her these past few weeks, posted this sex article on her wall, asking "have you read this?" I found it inappropriate and posted on her wall saying "who's this guy below? it's disturbing." She then texted me, saying that talking about sex is normal and regarding the article, they've been talking about brain psychology and this article is related to that. I said "it's not so much about the sex as it is about a guy who's been flirting with you and now he sent a sex article. Don't you think of the possible things it might imply?" She replied, "If it's about that then why didn't you just say it from the start? I found it childish that you had the need to take a jab at the guy through my wall." At this point I sensed something was wrong. Instead of addressing my concern or at least validating it, she got defensive on the guy's behalf. I didn't continue arguing and said we got to talk (as in real life talk).
Now maybe she's right that posting on her wall was not the best way to bring up the issue, but on the other hand I found it disappointing that she got defensive instead of making my concern her priority. It's like she's on his team instead of mine. Do you think my concern is reasonable? Do you think my GF was reasonable in acting that way? What should I talk to her when we meet? | A guy who likes her posted a sex article on her wall and I said to her it's disturbing. Instead of assuring me, she got defensive. What should I do? |
t3_16d1vl | relationship_advice | Time between relationships | Basically I was wondering what is an acceptable time to take between two relationships.
I dated my ex for over 3 years and broke off in late August. (for the record, I did get over him pretty quickly, like a month after the break up)
I started dating someone in December, who I really like. He wants to make it official and tell everyone and stuff. On one hand I really want to, as I do really like him, but I feel there hasn't been much time since my previous relationship. In a strange way, I feel kind of worried by the fact that I already have a new boyfriend and it hasn't been such a long time since my ex. Most people I know take years to actually get in a new relationship after they had a break up, when I only took a few months.
Is it okay that I already have a new boyfriend shortly after a long term relationship? Are my worries reasonable? What are your thoughts on the "waiting" time between relationships? | broke up with ex of a few months ago, worried about it being okay to be already starting a relationship with someone else. |
t3_o95sb | relationships | I feel like I can't trust my wife anymore. | I'm 22M and she's 19F, we have an 8 month old, been married for about 5 months now. For starters, about a year and a half ago I found out that she had flirted with two of my closest friends. She had said things along the lines of if I was ok with it, she would sleep with them. Now this was around when we first started dating, so as a first offense I gave her a stern talking to and eventually moved on and was able to trust her with boys again. Also, she is my first and only, so it hurt quite a bit when she said something like that.
Anyway, fast forward to a month or so ago. She starts telling me she feels like she can't live up to her full potential anymore, what with having a child and going to school full time. Now, I tried to be supportive as best I could and things seemed to have turned around. I work and pay the bills and mostly take care of the child nowadays so she can focus on school.
The thing is, a couple nights ago I came upon some chat logs of hers wherein she exchanged pictures (the naughty kind) with various other men. It made me very distraught. I don't know what to do anymore. I know things haven't been that great with sex between her and I lately. She has some self-esteem issues from having the kid, stretch marks and such. I've really been trying lately, though. And it's not like all that stuff turns me off, I still want to sleep with her despite all the stretch marks and everything.
Anywho, getting back on topic. What should I do? I honestly feel like I just want to leave. Our relationship really isn't that great anyway. I sacrifice and let her mostly be who she wants to be, yet there's so much I can't do. Examples: she doesn't like my humor, she hates alcohol for no logical reason, and in general she never makes sacrifices for me. | Wife wanted to cheat on me a while back, we moved past it, now she's giving out pictures of herself to various guys. Relationship already is unsteady. What should I do? |
t3_4qd1he | relationships | I [23 M] am confused with a friend [20 F] seeming interested in me but talking to other guys. | Hi everyone,
So I am confused at the moment. I have been talking to this girl I am friends with for a little while now. It has been good, we get along really well and have a lot of the same interests and she is a really cool girl. She always texts me or send me snapchats making it obvious that she wants me to see a picture of her. Also, if I know she is almost off work and I'm in the area I'll stop by to talk to her in person. The last time I did that she was super talkative and while we talked she was playing with her hair a lot (running her fingers through it, braiding it, etc.) and playing with her necklace. She also was complimenting me for what I was wearing and stuff.
But I have one issue with all of this, she is talking to 2 other guys at the moment. One guy is a FWB she has had off and on for like 2 years and the other is one of her exs that she has had problems with before. I have been kinda her friend to lean on with relationship advice before so I have heard a lot about them.
But every time we talk just about anything she seems like she is really into me but I'm just not sure. I understand this is kinda confusing but it's just hard to explain. Does anybody have any advice on this? Or just any help in general would be awesome.
Thanks! | Girl talks to me like she likes me, but talks to other guys too. Does she like me? What should I do? |
t3_4yhnat | relationships | Im (23M) australian, fiancee is (22F) filipino. Family is harassing her to tears. What can i do? | Hi friends. So im a 23 year old man who lives in australia. I met this 22 year old girl online 2 years ago and fell in love pretty quickly. Ive gone over to stay with her multiple times, and last month i proposed to her, with her happily accepting.
She moved away from her large family at the beginning of 2016 for better job prospects. She misses them dearly, even though theyre quite strict and overbearing. The last month, the females in her family have said some horrible things. They accuse her of being pregnant when she clearly isnt, for only wanting a foreigner partner for the benefits, saying i only want her as a maid, and other similiar harrassments.
I feel pretty bad because i know her family is incredibly important to her. She was raised by her grandmothed, who is now spouting off cruel statements and making her cry. The very last thing i ever want to do is cause strife with her family. I dont know what i can do in this situation. Shes forbidden me from talking to her family about it because ive said stupid things in the past. I want to do more than comfort and reassure her, but im worried about making it worse.
Has anyone been in a similiar situation? Im very sure i want this woman as my wife, and she feels the same. Not sure what the bloke is supposed to do in this situation. Thanks | fiancees family being horrible to her cus shes with a foreigner. I feel powerless. What do i do? |
t3_2ws2z5 | relationships | I [M22] met a classmate [F21] but she seems too busy to be in a relationship. | I went on a school trip recently and met an amazing girl in my group. We'll call her Jenny. She is a beautiful girl who I thought I had no chance with but I tried talking to her anyway.
Turns out Jenny liked me too for some reason. We hung out, talked and eventually made out and cuddled one night.
Jenny just seems too busy to be able to date someone though. She is the president of many extra-curricular clubs, travels quite a bit and is really busy with her school work (engineer). She hasn't been in a relationship for 5 years now (just 1-2 week flings) and I think it is because she is so busy. She assured me that she is ready for a boyfriend now though.
I would love to be with this girl but I am hesitant to jump into a relationship. The reason is because I just got out of a 6 year relationship about 4 months ago (I was dumped) and I am scared to be heart broken again so soon.
I'm scared that I'm just a fling and am unsure if I should invest time and energy into her. I don't really know what to do, some opinions would be great. | Recently out of LTR, met and made out with a new girl. Her life seems too busy to be able to commit to a boyfriend though and I'm scared of being heartbroken so soon. How should I approach this? |
t3_1421qv | relationship_advice | (19/F) Boyfriend (22/M) broke up with me and I'm wondering how to approach the situation? | Well, the long and short of it is we started working together and from that point we pretty much spent every waking hour together, we also lived together. My ex is an introvert and he needs some time really alone to decompress. Because of that he couldn't bring up any passion for me because he wanted to be away from me. Not like, not with me, just time really by himself. Because he stopped being passionate about me I put more pressure on him because I was feeling undesired. The more I did that, obviously the more he pushed away. Until we're here. He's sleeping on his friends couch now.
But I didn't figure all of this out until a few days ago. He says he changed, but I keep seeing glimpses of the man I fell in love with.
He says he wants to be alone, I think he's been thinking about it so much he just want wants to stop and breath. He says he doesnt want to be in any relationship right now and i can respect that. He keeps telling me to move on and that ill find better... He still wants to be my friend and I KNOW he's still attracted to me, so I can't help think there may be a chance for us, as long as I give him the space and time he needs... We were actually starting to get along again, he was even flirting with me... Well, ovulation may have made me go off the wall crazy and now I'm back to square one. Or maybe even worse.
Which I'm having sooo much trouble being aloof. I'm a very friendly person who likes to talk to their friends almost every day, so I'm having a hard time not asking about how his life his going... So honestly, what do you think my chances are? | We were around each other too much, making him distant and cold and me jealous and desperate. He wants to be alone. How do I not fuck this up? |
t3_2ikbkz | relationships | [Non-romantic]How do I [24 M] tell my sister-in-law [19 F] of a few months that I do not like her boyfriend without offending her. | Hi all,
I got married about 2 months ago and my wife's younger sister has recently been seeing a guy that I do not particular care for.
Alittle background: This guy has a pretty shady past (yes I know people can change) and he is a regular member of our friend group however he is known as the flaky guy that no one really trusts.
One of my other friends who lived with this guy in college told me that this shady guy would always have threesomes with random girls in their dorm room and that he was one of those guys who would say whatever he could to manipulate women.
Needless to say I do not trust him and I'm worried about my sister-in-law. I have never had a younger sister before so maybe this is my first time having to deal with a situation like this. However I have always been encouraging with her previous boyfriends. My wife was also upset with her sister dating this guy but my wife was easier to say that we should wait to see how things play out. (My wife knows about this guy's past but the sister does not.)
So I am brainstorming ways to tell my sister-in-law that this guy is no good without sounding too controlling and make her want him more. My wife and I think if we pressure too much for her not to see him then she will want to see him more out of defiance.
Thank you for any advice. | I am unsure how to tell my younger sister-in-law that her boyfriend has a shady past that she does not know about. |
t3_2ywet9 | relationships | My best friend [16M] knows who I [16M] love and he took her away [16F] | My best friend just stole my crush away. I helped my best friend in his studies till he did really well and this was how he treated me. He knew that I liked her and yet he done it. I feel very insulted because I felt that I wasn't even respected or ever cross my best friend's mind and my crush's mind. Me and my crush talked for very long, she knew that I love her. I'm an introvert and a shy guy. I don't speak up. I get hurt in silent. I thought of everything from cutting myself to hurting other people. I believe this is somewhat fine since I won't dare to do it but these thoughts keeps on coming up. It hurts more and more each day, I want to speak up, but I can't.
What should I do ? -Approach my best friend and tell him how I feel ? Hoping he would reconsider doing all this shit ? I thought of it but how much fucks do you think he would give ? -Approach my crush ? Look like a selfless weakling who can't do any shit and very dependent on her ?
Sorry if I repeat it, these words I want to write keeps going round and round. Also my English is bad, but I hope you get my point. I really need help. Tell me what should I do, please. | My best friend took my crush away, I don't know what to do, I'm an introvert and a shy guy. |
t3_395ubi | relationships | I've (23M) been dating a girl (23F) for 7-8 weeks and enjoy it but really don't think it'll pan out long term. Should I end it now? | I (23M) met a girl (23F) online, and we went on our first date two months ago. Things picked up quickly. We hooked up on our second date, and by our fourth, she asked if we could be exclusive. We've only been able to see each other on weekends, so we've met up about 8 times (8 weeks) since our first date.
She seems very into me. The bad news is that, while I enjoy hanging out with her (and certainly the sex), there's just not that spark / butterflies-in-my-stomach feeling of excitement to see her that I've had with other girls I've pursued in the past. I don't pine for her while we're apart, and I just don't think I'll ever be truly in love with her. (We've only been seeing each other 8ish weeks, so granted, things might really blossom, but I really doubt they will.) She seems more like just a friend with whom I enjoy chatting and sleeping.
If I'm 98% sure we won't pan out long-term, should I tell her this and/or break it off now? I've only previously had two brief girlfriends, so I'm wondering if dating in the short term is worthwhile of itself just for experience? Or is the time I'm investing in this all-but-certain-to-eventually-end relationship merely wasted, which I could instead be putting towards pursuing other girls (or, you know, studying, etc.)? | Been dating a girl for 8 weeks and enjoy it (along with the sex) but just not in love and doubt I'll ever be. Worth it to keep dating for the experience/sex, or should I just end it now? |
t3_2mmnlb | tifu | TIFU by telling a bad pickup line that went even worse than expected. | This happened about an hour ago and I still haven't heard back. Anyway.
So lately I've been texting this girl and I feel like things are moving along nicely, about to ask her out and all that jazz. We are good friends, get along well, have a few classes together, talk in the parking lot after school (I'm a junior in high school). So tonight I'm texting her and the subject drifts over to bad pickup lines. I tell a few, she tells a few. My smart ass self decides to then look up some good ones on Google to one up her. I'm reading some old /r/askreddit post and then there it is – the holy grail of bad pickup lines. Ok in all seriousness it wasn't that funny but it made me chuckle so what the hell. Anyway, I type it out and send it to her feeling kinda smug. It reads "Damn girl you're so hot I'd suck your dad's dick just to get a taste of the secret recipe." Not a big deal. It's kinda edgy and vulgar but she can handle it. Doesn't text back right away. Hmmmm, I guess she's doing something. 5 minutes, nothing. Whelp, guess I scared her off. 10, 15, I'm sitting here wondering. After about 20 minutes I text back and ask if everything is ok, if she's busy. She quickly texts back "I'm going to bed..."
So this would just seem like an ordinary "wow dude you need to work on your lady skills" post except for the fact that I remembered one tiny fact that may have been important. Her dad passed away from a battle with cancer not too long ago. The realization hit me like a sack of bricks. I've really fucked this up. | – I told a girl that I'd suck her dad's dick for the taste of his secret recipe. Her dad recently died from a battle with cancer. FML. |
t3_3ok6ji | relationships | Me [20 M] with my friend [21 M] and a girl [19 F] | So I'll keep the story brief. I went to a party where a gir I liked was. Beforei showed up my friends were saying that she had been talking to me, so I kind of took that as a good sign. However in the time that I spent socializing with all my friends he sort of zeroed in on her, making it impossible for me to make a move and they ended up making out.
I'm at a bit of a loss now. Part of me thinks I should leave it, but I don't know if I could deal with the thoughts of what could have been.
They're not official yet, haven't slept together and this all only happened on the weekend, I feel like if I'm going to do something I have to do it soon. Is this a big mistake? | Friend ended up getting with a girl I liked, and I think liked me. They're still not official and it's only been a couple days. Is it a mistake to tell her how I feel? |
t3_2a070q | dogs | I need advice on tie outs/stakes. Possibly my only option until I can get a fence up. | My dogs (both 5 years old and 50lbs) used to get to run on 20 acres of property and we never had to worry about fencing or leashing them while were outside working or relaxing out in the yard. We've since moved to a place where this is no longer an option. There are now too many neighbors, too many cars and too many other dogs roaming around.
We haven't been able to get a fence up yet, but I hope to have one up by the end of the year or early next spring (unfortunately other projects have to come first). I keep them leashed now when we go for walks or spend time outside, but it's not practical for when I need to do yard work or want to sit outside and read a book to hold on to two dogs.
So I feel my only options right now are to leave my dogs inside while I am outside or have a tie out for them. I would like my dogs to spend more time outside so it's looking like a tie out may be my option.
Does anyone have suggestions for collars/leads/halters/tethers? The dogs would have access to shade, water and I would be outside with them the entire time they are outside.
If anyone has suggestions other than tie outs, they are welcome too. | I want my dogs to be able to be outside while I'm working in the yard and want to know the best tie out collars/leads/halters/tethers available until I can get a fence up. |
t3_10zbzc | relationships | How can I [F20] be more easygoing in my relationship with him [M22]? | My ex and I recently got back together after a bad break up. We dated for 6 months, broke up for a month and a half, and have been back together for a week or so. I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and I wasn't seeking help, so it blew up in our faces. We fought all the time, I was never happy, etc. Eventually he couldn't handle it. Once I got into therapy, we started talking again and decided to try getting back together.
But I'm noticing that, even though my anxiety has improved exponentially, I still get unreasonably angry about certain things and turn them into fights. He asked me to spend the night at his house on Friday night, but on Thursday, he said he changed his mind because he didn't want to be tempted to have sex when we just got back together. I was really looking forward to spending that time with him, and I was disappointed that he cancelled. It turned into a fight and he told me he nearly broke up with me again.
I want to be more easy going because I know life isn't always going to go the way I want it to, and I want to learn how to not ruin things by being upset over them. How can I learn to let go of the little things like this? His plan was completely reasonable, but I just let my emotions overtake my logic. | My inability to get over the "little things" is causing too many fights in my relationship, and I'm not sure how to fix it. |
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