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t3_hi6v4 | AskReddit | I have now inadvertently twice foiled my cats attempts at "gift giving". Is this going to ruin our relationship? | She was a porch cat who wormed her way into our lives a few weeks ago and is now a much loved member of the household.
The first ruined attempt came when I caught her in the backyard with a still twitching bird in her mouth. Her yellow eyes were wide with surprise as though I had caught her wrapping a christmas gift. I left her alone feeling rather touched that she would do this for us considering she had previously been a neighborhood cat and frequented many homes. She left that one in the yard at the kill site not bringing it to the porch as I would've expected though.
Yesterday I walked outside in the morning and found her waiting at the door with a chipmunk in her mouth. She set it down in front of me. It was again a sweet gesture despite it being a chipmunk she was offering. The chipmunk however was not yet dead and seeing a chance for escape split for the bushes. Graycat performed a few impressive moves and caught it once again only to set it by my feet and see it run away once more. Not wanting to watch my cat kill the poor thing I knelt down and told her how awesome she was and pet her and basically ruined any chance she had of catching it a third time.
She spent the rest of the day outside and refused to purr as she usually does and I had to bring her into the house at the end of the day which is usually not a problem.
Did I offend her cat sensibilities? Will our relationship ever be the same? Anything I can do for her in return? | my cat's attempts at leaving dead animals on my porch have been accidentally foiled by myself. Will she be offended? |
t3_152vo9 | AskReddit | I got poor grades in my first two years of high school and never participated in anything. Is there still a chance I could get into a good school? | My first two years of school, I did very poorly. I'm talking Fs, Ds, and Cs. Only a handful of As in electives and gym class. I just didn't care. You could forget about participating in extra-curicculur activities. Only now, halfway through Junior year, have I realized that I actually love learning. I love the feeling of learning something new and understanding concepts, and getting my work done. I was always told I'm smart, and as a result never really felt like I needed to apply myself, until now. I had this revelation when I started making friends who were in AP classes and did many extra-curriculur activities. For the first time in my life I began to feel intellectually inferior to my peers. This feeling has since made me kick into gear, stop being a lazy dimwit, and get my stuff done. All my grades in all my classes are on a steady incline towards straight As. I've volunteered at the local soup kitchen and now I'm joining the local EMS, something I've actually been interested in since middle school. I love the feeling of improvement, but I still have this nagging feeling of inferiority anytime I think about my friends who are much better students then me. The feeling of never being able to go back, change things, and ever be better than they are sucks. But I always remind myself that I'm still getting better than I have ever been, and that keeps me going. I really want to get into school and be an electrical engineer. Electronics have always fascinated me and being able to be a part of the design process would be my dream. Anyways, to get to the point, has anyone been in a similar situation? Also, is there a chance I could still get into a good school? I'm willing to do as much as it takes to make up for my mistakes, and I want nothing more than to make it up to my parents. Any insight is GREATLY appreciated. | Did terrible first two years of high school, changing my act halfway through junior year. Is there still a chance I'll get to do what I want and get into a good school? |
t3_2vdla4 | relationships | Me [25F] with my boyfriend [26 M] together 5 years, in another 5 years I want kids and he doesn't. Dealbreaker? | Hi guys, I need some advice.
My boyfriend and I have been together 5 years. We live together, love each other's families and everything is mostly always happy.
He's always known that I've wanted to have kids and get married one day, but in the past couple of years I've realized that I REALLY do want to have kids and would like to get married. He's always joked with his mother, sister and I that he won't have kids but then sometimes says he will.
I was away at a friends wedding about a month ago and when I came back he said "Ah god! I was telling [his friend] you'll be coming back wanting to get married ha-ha!"
I've been thinking about that comment for a few weeks now, and yeah, not having kids in about 5 – 7 years are a very real deal breaker for me.
I said that to him and he said, "I'm sorry but I do not want children and I cannot see that changing, ever. I want to have a future and spend the rest of my life with you but I don't want a wedding and I never want to have children."
We're both feeling lost and confused now. His sister and now one of my best friends, his family is like my own family now and most importantly we really love each other and we're best friends, I can't imagine just a day without him.
My friends husband said when he was that age he didn't want to have kids, but as he's gotten older he's realized he real does and that its probably just a young man thing.
What do I do? Break up? Wait and see if he changes his? | I want kids and to get married one day, boyfriend doesn't but does want to stay together. No children is a dealbreaker for me but boyfriend is my world and can't fathom not having him in my life. |
t3_eb9ze | AskReddit | How do you motivate an introvert? | My youngest brother (of four kids) is your typical computer games in his basement bedroom, high school dropout introvert. My mom basically burned out on raising kids before he was done with junior high.
I've had to sign him up for his driver's test, college tours, everything a motivated young male should be itching to do and get the fuck out of the house. He's supposed to be in an online high school program, but I think he dropped out of that too.
I don't live at home, so my contact with him is limited. Whenever I try to engage him in conversation about future plans he's very guarded and it's like pulling teeth.
He has very few real friends and now that they're off to college, I doubt he ever talks to them. I'm nearly certain the only friends he communicates with are online. He's opposed to the military, and he drags his feet about getting a job. It's seriously pathetic and I can't believe my parents continue to support him.
My siblings and dad are at a loss. I'm hoping some people on here have had similar experiences, either with themselves or with loved ones. Does anyone have recommendations? | My little brother is a bum, has no life plans or goals, my mom is okay with this and I've been burdened with trying to raise him |
t3_v6r0b | AskReddit | Was I having nightmares, or sleep paralysis? | I'll try and make this as short as possible. From as far back as I can remember, I had a re-occurring dream. I'd be in my bed and completely paralysed, I'd then hear a door squeak and some footsteps, suddenly everything would flash and vibrate and these monsters (I called them Jelly Monsters) would be tickling me, 5-10secs later I'd wake up sweating and scared to fall asleep.
This happened most nights and by the time I was 7-8 I'd be scared of falling asleep, I'd try and stay awake as long as possible. By 13 the nightmares stopped but I was still not sleeping normally. Missed lots of school and sometimes went 2-3 days awake at a time.
Been in and out of doctors/mental-clinics and on all sorts of weird medication until this March this when in one day, the insomnia disappeared and I started sleeping a really regular sleep pattern, literally it was an overnight change which my doctors and I couldn't and still can't understand one bit.
Today I was introduced to 'Sleep Paralysis' and have been researching it. Do you think that the whole time, it was actually sleep paralysis and not just nightmares like the doctors and myself always assumed?
Feel free to post your experiences with anything like this, interested to learn more. | I dreamt about jelly monsters tickling me every night 'til I was a teenager, but now I think it might of been sleep paralysis, interested to hear what Reddit think and if they've had similar experiences. |
t3_2egrum | relationships | Me [20M] and my roommate [20M] are having issues, specifically with my partying habits. | So I'd consider myself very good friends with my roommate and we've lived together for a little over a year now (we just signed another lease after living together for a year.) We are total opposites but in the past we have had mutual understandings of things.
I am very extroverted and for the entirety of our roommate time I've had large groups of people over drinking / smoking with moderately loud music (nothing crazy) and he was completely okay with it, if he was feeling not up to all the people he would just go to his room and say his farewells. I'll also add that I absolutely do not have people over past 10pm on school nights if not at all.
Lately things have changed, as soon as we signed our lease on our new house he's decided that I shouldn't be partying in his house and basically has this idea that our house is going to be like a Christian bible camp or something. No more smoking and decreased drinking. I wouldn't smoke or drink on a weekday night, but I feel pretty fucking oppressed when friday or saturday comes around and suddenly substances must be done behind closed doors and noise levels brought down so he can chill and watch netflix or something.
I kind of feel like an asshole for being upset about this, as he has every right to not like me partying but I feel like he should have known signing this lease with me after living with me for a year that I'm a bit wild. If I had known he would not like this I would have found another roommate, but now we are locked in a 1-year lease.
Am I in the wrong when I throw down anyway? | roommate doesn't like my lifestyle decisions after a year of living with me and acts like a nun after reentering a 1-year lease with me. |
t3_s4fzl | loseit | How Reddit helped me lose 60 lbs (and counting)! | Let's get this out of the way first: [comparison pictures!] That was from 235 lbs to 175 lbs.
Now, like many of you, one day I had that moment of clarity in which a switch went off in my brain. I thought, "no, this won't do anymore. This won't do *at all.*" And let me tell you, I have Reddit to thank for this.
I was scared to face myself and how I was treating my body, but one day I decided to change all my Reddit subscriptions to only positive, healthy ones. I unsubscribed from r/funny, r/adviceanimals, r/wtf, r/f7u12, r/gifs, r/videos, and all those other subreddits essentially dedicated to wasting time. Then I piled on the subscriptions to r/loseit, r/keto, r/fitness, r/c25k, r/getmotivated, and other communities dedicated to health, weight loss, and self-improvement. I figured if I was browsing reddit all the time, I might as well use it for good rather than evil. And so it began.
My actual weight loss has come almost entirely from dieting. I have been running (completed c25k in November and have been running somewhat regularly since), but I would not call myself a runner or anything. I'd still like to lose 15-20 more lbs and I plan to begin lifting weights soon, but I wanted to share my progress so far with this great community. Thanks Reddit! | I unsubscribed from all the time-wasting subreddits and focused on self-improvement ones instead, started a keto diet and a running regimen and 60 lbs came off before I knew it! |
t3_3nquzh | tifu | TIFU by pushing wieners | Well this is my first post on all of Reddit, and this isn't a major fuck up, but a fuck up none the less.
This happened a couple hours ago.
So I am a junior in high school, and I really hate social interactions, and creating problems for other people. It is my lunch period, and I am in the lunch line. It comes my turn to grab the food, but I didn't want the hot dogs they were serving, I wanted the pizza, but the lunch lady wasn't preparing any of the pizzas for some reason. Me Bing a baby and not wanting to talk to the lunch lady, or inconvenience the lads behind me, I go to grab a hot dog, but instead of grabbing it, I managed to push the tray over onto the other side of the counter thing, and ruin a hot dog. This hot dog was in the last bun of a bag, so the lunch lady had to open up a new bag, and get new buns, the whole time she does this I am apologizing profusely, and everyone behind me is yelling at me because I had to make them wait. I finally get another shitty hot dog, and scurry the fuck out of that line.
Like I said, this isn't a major fuck up, but it embarrassed me pretty good. | I pushed a wiener over a counter and made a bunch of hung high schoolers wait and got them mad at me. |
t3_37a4on | tifu | TIFU by waiting for a girl that told me to wait for her. | This happened a few months ago but I remembered it today.
This girl and I went out, had a good time, I'm dropping her back off at her place around 2am, she gets out of my car and starts walking into her place, she comes back and I roll down my window, she says with a smile:
"Wait for me!"
"I will, don't worry!"
She scurries inside and closes the door. I'm left waiting in my car, wondering if she's grabbing something, or maybe she decided she wanted to go back out (happened a few times before.)
I end up waiting 30+ minutes before I get a phone call and I see her peeking out her window.
"Why are you still here..."
"You told me you wanted me to wait for you."
"Yeah, wait for me to get inside my house..." | Girl wanted me to wait for her to get inside her house at 2am, I thought she meant wait for her to come back. Sat there for 30+ minutes. |
t3_qt97l | personalfinance | My GF was late on a credit card payment... and then things got worse. I need your advice. :-( | OK, so here's the abridged version. My girlfriend was 30 days late on a $4.80 Kohl's card balance. Just a complete oversight; she completely forgot she bought anything at Kohl's.
Kohl's reported it as 30 days late payment and it now shows up at all 3 bureaus as a late payment. Obviously she's panicked because we were planning on getting a house 12 months from today [after the wedding].
She frantically calls Kohl's telling them she paid it as soon as she saw it was late. She speaks to the manager to **close the credit card**. Then she tells me later what has transpired.
I told her that we would have had more leverage by calling and saying "*look, sorry about that $4. can you take back the credit report? i'm such a good customer, look!*" we can't do that anymore because the account is closed. After telling her this she tried to have the account re-instated, but couldn't. she'd have to reapply for a new card. she even had a hard time talking to service because service shoo'd her off to "new accounts" because she wasn't a valid customer.
What should I do now?
* Should I keep calling back and beg?
* Should I beg by offering to reopen a new line if its removed?
* Should I write a strongly worded letter to Kohl's explaining the situation?
I just feel that we don't have any leverage because the account is closed. Why would they cut a customer a break if there's nothing to gain from it? It's not we can threaten to close the card if it's not removed anymore. Please help!! | GF was late on payment. Got reported to credit. Called up, paid in full and immediately cancelled the card without asking to get the credit report hit removed. |
t3_2zoaka | personalfinance | Ex-Spouse's Collections Account Showing on My Credit | I had a question related to my ex and a medical collections account. I searched but couldn't find a similar situation. I'm looking for some advice of what my steps should be. Thanks in advance for anything you can provide.
Background: I had been separated from my ex-wife from Oct 2011 until this past January when we became legally divorced. She has always had separate insurance from me, even when we were married. Everything in this situation occurred in California.
I recently checked my credit report and found an account in collections for over $2k. I had never been contacted about anything remotely close to this so my fist instinct was that it was a complete mistake.
In passing I mentioned this to my ex-wife and she told me that she had been getting contacted by a collections agency for a while but she was ignoring it because her credit was bad anyway.
According to her, at some point after we separated but not yet divorced, she went to the emergency room for some pain. She provided identity and insurance information and waited in the waiting room for a few hours and was eventually called back. She was placed in a bed and her vitals were taken (weight, blood pressure, etc). She waited there for a doctor for another 2 hours without being seen. At that point she walked out. It's unclear if she told anyone.
Down the road she started getting mailers to pay the debt and she again ignored them. She doesn't want to do anything to take care of the collection.
On my end, I would like to get this off my report, but I'm not sure how to go about doing it. The collections agency has made no apparent effort to contact me about this, yet they have added it to my credit report. I wouldn't be that hard to find since I have been applying for credit under the same phone number for the last 15 years.
I don't know if this would be considered a valid debt against even my ex-wife if they were trying to charge her for services not performed.
What is everyone's suggestion? Again, thanks in advance for your help. | Collections on credit report from ex-wife. She claims it's not a valid debt. Collections never contacted me about the debt. |
t3_aoasu | AskReddit | Hey Reddit, I'm going to tour Europe with a friend the summer after next, ideas or advice? | We've been saving up to spend the Summer after our freshman year in college (the one after this upcoming one) going across Europe using eurorail. We'd like to start planning now. If any of you have any experience, we would love to hear it.
So, currently as high school students, we're a bit low on cash (We should each have about $5000 minus $750 for the eurorail pass and $750 for the plane ticket) and want to make the most of what we have, so we don't plan on staying in hotels all the time. We're spending the last week or two in Sweden with a friend, but the rest of the time we aren't really sure what we're doing. We're considering camping some of the time, [Couch Surfing] cheap hotels, or hostels.
**Our Questions (I'm going to start a comment chain with each question to keep things a bit more organized)**
* What cities should we visit?
* Do you have any ideas on how to keep costs low?
* Does anyone have any experience with [CouchSurfing](
* Anyone whose done something similar before, I'd love to hear stories.
* Passports -- I've never left the country without a parent before, so I'm not really sure what to do.
* Anything else that you can think of that might help!
The places we've been considering going are:
* Amsterdam, The Netherlands
* Paris, France
* Marseilles, France
* Berlin, Germany
* Brughes, Belgium
* Stockholm, Sweden
* Copenhagen, Denmark
* Zurich, Switzerland
* Barcelona, Spain
* Heidelberg, Germany
* Prague, Czech Republic
* Brussels, Belgium
* Rome, Italy
* Florence, Italy
* Venice, Italy
* Lucern, Switzerland
* Interlaken, Switzerland
* Munich, Germany
* San Sebastian, Spain
* Prague, Czech Republic
We plan on getting a [Youth Flexi pass] which means we can only use the train for either up to ten, or fifteen trips (preferably ten). | A friend and I are going from America to Europe and getting eurorail passes for the summer; we want your advice on how to make the most of it. |
t3_17khpw | relationships | Should I visit my internet crush? F24, M29 | A month ago, I (F24) met this guy (M29) on a forum about grad school (we're both applying this season). I recently suffered a bit of a romantic blow, so I suppose I'm particularly emotionally receptive. Still, this was a totally unexpected connection, and maybe that's why the intensity has kind of blown me away -- it's happened entirely online, from a forum that had NOTHING to do with romance or meeting people.
He lives across the country from me, but we've started talking every day via email and skype. We have yet to meet in person, but our "webcam chemistry" is off the charts. I think he's a really great person. In any case, I kind of want to see if we mesh this well in person. I'd like to know if this is just pure silliness or if maybe we could actually be something. Would it be crazy to book a cheap ticket and visit him on an upcoming long weekend? I have a friend who lives in the same city as him so I could stay with her. I discussed this with him already and he seemed into the idea, but I just worry that it might be a little rash, and I might ultimately get disappointed if I invest a few hundred bucks in meeting him and he turns out not to be what I thought. | I (F24) want to visit my internet crush (M29) but I'm not sure it's a good idea. |
t3_1zuaxj | relationships | Me [21 M] with my girlfriend [19F] 4 months, smokes weed and I am totally against it, can this work out? | Both sophomores in a large university. Ive tested the waters with women lately and she has honestly been a breath of fresh air. We get along really well, Im pretty sure we are truly in love. We hang out everyday, get along, the sex is amazing, I like to think we are meant for each other and she is the one.
One thing though, she smokes weed. Her father passes away a few months ago and she said she smoked weed to cope with him passing (and Im pretty sure she smoked before) and also her mother is also really sick. But I have smelled it on her and during her partys at her place and it instantly turns me off, hardcore too.
Another kicker is that I'm in ROTC at the university we attend. I want to make a career out of the military and one of the biggest things the military does not tolerate is NO DRUGS AT ALL, zero.
My gf and her roommate smoke (and Im pretty sure my gf smokes with her ex, who she is still friends with). Should I be worried? Because I honestly cannot tolerate smoking. What should I do? | gf of 4 mo. smokes weed, I do not like it, joining the military as an officer, what do I do? |
t3_2sy443 | relationships | Need some advice | Hey Reddit, I've [34] Male been dating this woman [33] for a year or so. When I met her she was going through a divorce. Well in the year she's cheated on me with the EX. Then decided to reconcile her marriage and move 800 miles away. That lasted around 2 months. So she came back and I let her move in with me. So 3 months of that and she planned on moving back to NY behind my back and says it's because she can be closer to her kids. I don't understand why she doesn't just fight her ex for the kids and stay with me. I say that because she says she wants to be with me. So now she's wanting to date long distance until she moves back. Is it actually worth it to me? I mean we had great times but the last 3 months she refused to only talk to her ex about kids which caused issues between us. I feel as if she treats me dark flippancy at times. It was on a personal level and I'm pretty sure he used that to lure her back there. I just don't know what to do. | ! I don't know if I should continue this relationship considering what she's already done to me or am I looking to much into the past? |
t3_2gwr4v | relationships | My boyfriend [M31] of two years recently broke up with me [F30]. Now he wants to date my friend? | Things have been really difficult lately, so please, no jokes.
A few weeks ago, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me. I was devastated and I still am. It doesn't feel real, especially since I didn't see it coming. We rarely fought, our sex life was better than ever and he was recently given a huge promotion at work. Needless to say, I thought we were both really happy. There weren't any signs that he was going to dump me. I mean, it was only two months ago that we were looking at houses together and talking about getting married.
He got home from work one night, took me out to dinner and then when we got home, he said things weren't working out for us anymore. I regret the way I reacted. I literally bawled the entire time. He moved his stuff out that weekend and that was it.
A few weeks have gone by and I've noticed that a friend of mine (or should I say "ex-friend) has taken a huge interest in him. Apparently, she texts him all the time and has "coincidentally" bumped into him at a couple of recent events. Needless to say, I'm 99% sure she's pursuing him, which my ex-boyfriend confirmed. He even emailed me to ask if it would be okay if he dated her. I still haven't replied to his email.
I feel heartbroken and I don't know what to say or do. As much as I hate to admit it, I'm still in love with him and probably will be for a long time. How do I handle this? Has anyone gone through something similar? I guess I just need to get this off my chest. | My boyfriend [M31] dumped me [F30] and has recently asked if it was alright if he started dating my friend. |
t3_1dc043 | self | Make sure you tell the people in your life you love them. | Normally I'd be greeting my students as they walked into class, and they'd cry because they don't want to leave their parents after a long weekend. Well today its not the children who are crying but me who is choking back a million tears. You see, today is the day my heart will be forever broken, today is the day I have dreaded my entire life, today is the day I say good bye to my other half, my best friend, my robot, my corner stone, my Dorian. I wrote a five page farewell letter to him, to put in his casket as my best friend will be lowered into a six foot hole. He will be under my feet for the rest of time. I know now that he no longer has to suffer the pain of living but now enjoy watching the rest of us suffer and fuck up in life. He has made me the person i am today. He has picked me up when I tried to take my life after I failed at being a woman and had a miscarriage. He made me get my act together and get out of my depression and go back to school. He is the reason I work a full time teaching job and am going to get my doctored in geology. That day, that I can put the Dr. In front of my name I know it'll be because of him. So I ask, as I hold back ten years of tears today and face the hardest thing to do in my 22 years of living, for you to simply hug everyone in your life you care about because you never know, one day they will be there sending you terrible text with terrible grammar because it pisses you off because reddit has taken over your life, and the next day be cold as stone.
Thank you for reading this, I just had to rant. | best friends funeral is today, made me realize the need to appreciate the people in my life. You should do the same. |
t3_1gcee3 | relationship_advice | [18/m] Love triangle and FWB. | Let me introduce the 3. I'll give a letter to each:
* H: *myself*, [18/m]. I love E.
* E: (18/f). She has feelings/loves both H and L.
* L: (16-17/m) not sure about his age, but he is younger and **immature**... has feelings for E.
I guess the letters describe the situation: HEL(L).
A little bit of background: E and L were together for 2 years. They broke up in November. He is kind of mean. E and H got together shortly after her breakup with L. It ended a few weeks later, but they got back together again a few weeks after that. It went on like that until last week. E was clearly confused about her feelings. She decided to step back and think about all of "this." She does not want any relationship; she wants to think and decide which one she loves.
...**but** here comes the FWB part. For the moment, both H and L are her FWB (and she is to them). That's her way of "staying in contact with them" and
Now, remember I am 'H'. E knows I want to be with her - in a relationship. The situation is hard for me, but that's all I can have for the moment.
What should I do? Should I just let time pass, let her think, keep the situation going and hope for the best? I know that's probably what I should do, but what do you think? | Love triangle and FWB: she is confused and has to think. I don't know if I should do anything or not. Or just read! |
t3_54xn30 | relationships | Me [25F]... Am I weird??? Need some honest feedback. | Hi. I have dated my boyfriend for more than two years. I love him a lot...
I was sharing with him about how different people I am not close to have shared with me that they feel I do not open up much about myself. It happened again today and that's why I talked to him about it. I guess I built up walls or something, but I mostly prefer to just share personal information with people I feel close to. I also feel comfortable telling complete strangers over the internet, hence this relationship post. Just wonder if I am weird?
My boyfriend ended up telling me that that never happens to him and he is surprised that it happens to me. And it seems I am weird?
I do value privacy a lot... even though there's not much privacy anymore. I don't really like to broadcast about my life events on facebook even though I have a facebook account.
And at work, I also do not like to share about details of my personal life with my coworkers. They share about their many life problems and go to me and others for emotional support and we gladly give it but I don't share personal things back. Also because I don't feel I have anything to talk about since everything is mostly fine in my life.
With my personal friends though, I only share about really personal things with the ones I feel really close to. But in the overall friend group, of the past ones and the current ones, I don't share about my life to all of them, just some of them. And in the past, some of the people in my friend group that I have known for years but am not close to have shared with me that they feel I don't open up much to them as well. I do open up to the ones I feel close to, but I just don't with the ones I don't feel close to.
I do share my personal thoughts and feelings with my boyfriend. However, after my boyfriend and I talked about this today, he thinks I'm weird. I love him a lot... but am I really that weird??? | Am I really weird? I don't share my personal information with people I don't feel close to... does that make me weird??? Is there anyone similar to me? Do you have any advice for me? |
t3_z51l3 | self | The first time I saw a hooker | In the 6th grade me and my friends went to a park to hang out after school until out parents got home. Since it was a half-day of school we got out around noon and decided we would go to the park. There wasn't really anyone else around since it midday in the city so it was just us and for some reason there was a girl there standing by herself.
She was a few years older than us but not by that much and I remember she was cute. The was a bit taller than us and had her hair in a bun. She had a jacket and skirt on which was weird because it was cold that day and we all had coats.
At first we kept trying to figure out if she was waiting on someone or just lost and then one of my friends realized that she might be a prostitute. I don't remember exactly how we went from "she might be a prostitute" to "she's definitely a prostitute" but we were all set on the idea. We talked for a while trying to figure out why she wasn't in school and why she was doing this (at the time we only thought they did things with people for money but we weren't exactly sure what those things were, the idea that they had sex never crossed our minds). We all eventually came to the idea that we should each give her a dollar so she could go home and get out of the cold. We gathered up 6 dollars and one of my friends walked over to her and gave her the money. She waved at us, we waved back and then we decided to go to the arcade that was a few blocks away.
It wasn't until a few years later that i realized how fucking weird that must of seemed for her. | In the 6th grade my friends and I gave a hooker money so she didn't have to be in the cold. |
t3_1kgjui | relationships | Me[20F] with my boyfriend[23M]-2 years: Need advice on celebrating his birthday. | Hi reddit! I am 20(f) and I live with my boyfriend 23(m) but he is soon to be 24! we have been dating for about 2 years.
The reason i am posting on here is I am seeking advice on how to celebrate his birthday-mainly on if I should force him to go to a birthday party. To explain, his older brother's birthday is around the same time and his wife is going to have a birthday party for him, but she also wants to make it a combined birthday for my boyfriend. I told my boyfriend how it might be fun and he could invite his buddies from work, but he doesn't seem down for the whole idea, because.. well I don't know why for sure, he is just a homebody.
My boyfriend is the type of guy who enjoys staying home, playing video games, and doesn't go out much. I don't want to force him and make him mad, but I feel like he would have a good time once he got there and was drinking with his work buddies. I know he would have fun, because we went to someones party once and he was really anxious at first and once we got there he was having the best time drinking and talking sports with his friends.
my question is: how do I convince him this birthday is a good idea? I don't know if I should talk him into it, tell him to do it for me or what. Also, I know for a fact he won't tell anybody at work so I don't know if it would be bad of me to invite one or two people from work that I know he talks to. I just think he is too anti social sometimes and needs to let loose. I would also have fun at this party, but if he is really against it I won't go.
I wanted to mention that the reason i am asking is my boyfriend isn't one to go into why he feels a certain way or why he doesn't want to go somewhere and I don't know what my "game plan" should be. Any advice would be greatly appreciated :) I love my boyfriend and only want him to have fun! | Me (20 f) need help convincing my homebody, sometimes anti-social boyfriend (23 m). that a combined birthday party with his older brother is a good idea. |
t3_wjvlw | AskReddit | Porting number from Sprint to Google voice and using T-mobile, how does it handle MMS? | Where I work I can't have my cell phone on me during the day so I more of less depend on Google Voice to check text messages and voicemails on my PC during the day. Sprint has been great because of the carrier integration with GV.
I've been on a family plan with my mom with Sprint for over 2 years and my contract is expired, it's been a hassle managing payments to split the check evenly and I would like to switch to a GSM carrier.
I'm looking for an individual plan at around ~$70-75/month after taxes and fees to break about even on the family plan and the T-mobile Monthly4G $30 or $50 plan would be perfect. But I have my concerns with the ability to use GV reliably.
If I port my number to GV and get a new T-mobile number what complications should I expect? How will MMS sent to my GV number be handled? How about when I send someone MMS, do they get it from my t-mobile number? | On Sprint, use Google voice exclusively right now which is handy with carrier integration, want to switch to T-mobile Monthly plans, what're the implications? |
t3_2keasz | relationships | Me [27 M] went on a few dates with [27 F]. I want to be exclusive, is it too soon? | I recently got out of a LTR and started online dating with some success. I'm currently seeing two girls.
Girl A [27 F], I get along with great, have similar career goals, and I find extremely attractive. I can see myself dating her and us working out really well. We went on 3 dates, and I finally drummed up the courage to kiss her on date 3.
Girl B [25 F] Is fun to hang out with, and we had a crazy night of sex after our first date. I'll be going on a second date with her soon. She's not really interested in a relationship as much as just having a FWB.
At this point I'll be totally OK with ending my relationship with girl B in favor or starting a relationship with girl A. Is 3 dates (over a month) too early to bring up exclusivity? When is a good time to start getting more serious? How do I bring it up?
Also, I feel kinda weird/sleazy dating multiple girls at once especially if I'm having sex with one, while I really want to be in a relationship with the other... Could this backfire on me? Should I stop seeing girl B? | Dating two girls. Want to to be exclusive with one of them. How soon is too soon to bring up exclusivity? Should I stop sleeping with the other one in the meantime? |
t3_2mqtfz | relationships | I [15 M/F] am completely out of my own comprehension in love with with my girlfriend [15 M/F]. Am I crazy? | I honestly don't even know if I believe it myself sometimes. I know about all kinds of teenager relationships and most of you are probably just gonna tell me how normal it is for me to feel like this, but it just isn't. I cannot imagine life without her anymore, and it's impossible for me to not be happy knowing I have her.
And she feels the exact same way. I honestly dont understand my own emotions right now. I honestly believe I have loved someone before this, but never on this level of being basically best friends/totally in love and pretty much everything someone could ever want in a relationship. We maybe argue once every month and it lasts for maybe 30 minutes, and we've dated for 8 months. We talk about our future together even though we're only sophomores in high school yet it seems so real and plausible. I think we're crazy, but whenever I try to be rational about it the only rational thing I can think of is that this is all real. And the feelings only ever get stronger.
So reddit, tell me, am I absolutely out of my goddamn mind? | I can't tell if it's for real. But I'm crazy enough to post it on reddit. As a guy. I need some help. |
t3_518jv5 | legaladvice | [texas] collections and how to proceed | thanks for whoever reads this, I'll try to make this as short as possible.
prologue: rented from slumlords years ago, mother was the guarantor, sent collections after her without notice but backed off after this was pointed out.
more detail for those interested: i let my landlords know I was not renewing a day after what was decided on in the lease, thus I was fairly charged a reletting fee. there was a lot between the landlord and I previous to this, so my folks told them to go kick rocks. if anyone is interested in further backstory I can provide it, as well as BBB logs.
I've grown up a little bit since school and was interested in my credit. after running my credit I noticed that they sent collections to me and now I owe money to [them] I was never aware of this until now. they've never once tried to contact me via cellphone or letter. this obviously not an excuse, but how do I proceed?
it's due to drop off my credit record in 5 years. I don't plan on any large purchases that would need my credit reference, but I'm at a loss. it's not hindering me in any way and if I were to need something like a car I could pull from my savings.
should I go about making a deal with the company/collections? I've read that interacting with them years after is a bad idea because they can renew the statue of limitations. I honestly just have no idea how to approach this | collections from my guarantor was passed onto me without either of us being aware of this and now said collection agency has put this onto the big 3 credit reports |
t3_2fmmxa | personalfinance | My current job missed payroll, should I stay in case it was an honest mistake? | Hey there,
So I just moved to NYC for this job at a small new company (Around late July) and haven't had a whole lot of problems with them financially until now.
I do think they underpaid me for the month of August- when I turned in my Direct Deposit info they said "Well this week is too late but we can give you some money in the interim and take it out of the next paycheck."
I was fine with that but as the next pay-period of August rolled around they didn't give me my full salary for August- just two weeks, and then they deducted what I got for interim pay. I let this slide but now my situation is hurtling in a downward spiral of doom.
On Friday I was desperately waiting for my salary and it wasn't there- I asked another employee and he said "Yeah, this used to happen all the time in the early days but it hasn't happened in 3-4 months. I didn't get paid either." Later on our boss sent an e-mail saying "Sorry guys they called for confirmation while I was on the plane- payroll will be in on Monday"
This doesn't sound super transparent- why couldn't he call them back and put it in effect so we at least got our money by the end of the day? I have no savings (but thankfully lots of helpful friends) since I just moved here and I am too young to deal with this stress. If I don't get paid on Monday I'm not coming into work, I'm gonna start freelancing.
They say they are only a startup when they negotiated salary but when people ask about their financial backing they say they are actually two companies that merged and are presitigious. We just moved to a fancy office in Time Square but they can't pay us on time? Bullshit. | Move to NYC to work for company that I think underpaid me for my first month and now they misses payroll- should I stay? |
t3_vc1r2 | Parenting | Going to a party with my boyfriend and his kid, need some advice. | A little background: My boyfriend is 10 years older than me, and has a five year old son. We have been together for 2 years and have a great relationship, but we always seem to run into the same problems regarding his son.
We were invited to a party at one of our friends houses. All of our friends , the people at the party, are around my age (20-24) while BF is 31. This party falls on one of weekends that he has his son. His band has been asked to play there as well, so there will be about a half hour of time when he will be completely unable to watch the kid. there wont be any other kids there, either.
My issue is that whenever he is with a group of kids with his son, he leaves it up to everyone to watch him, he will walk away without saying anything or get focused on something and lose sight of his son. The rest of us are still young, we want to be able to hang out and have a good time without worrying about a kid, so everyone sees it as not their responsibility. Unfortunately, this leaves me with the responsibility, because I'm the girlfriend, to make sure the kid isn't doing something dangerous or more often, getting into and potentially destroying other peoples things.
I've told BF that this isn't my responsibility, and that when his son is around it's up to him to be 100% focused on what he is doing. He isn't around that often so it shouldn't be too difficult to give him the attention he needs when he is here. This always turns into "If I wanted kids I'd have my own," and him telling me that I need to do more for his kid (although that's not exactly how he words it, that's what his actions imply). He also get's mad at our friends for not hanging out when his kid is around, but they don't hang out because they are also frustrated with feeling responsible for him.
So basically, I'm considering not going to this party just to avoid that. But everyone will be there and I'll just spend the day home alone if I dont go. As parents, do you have any insight into this? | When in a group of people, my bf ignores his kid and leaves it up to everyone else to watch him. |
t3_2suqhl | relationships | I [20M] like my best friend [20F] more than a friend and she's called me her 'brother'. I don't know if I believe that she meant it though. | I've known her for a year but only recently we've been hanging out alone more and more. We laugh at the same things and often find ourselves looking at each other from across the room and smiling for no reason. We're not overtly physical or cuddly, but there are moments where we'll touch each other's shoulders when we're laughing. God there's just this list of so many things we have in common too.
We both just got out of long term relationships and have expressed that we're both not in a place for another one. I want to just tell her that I like her more than a friend but I know she's not looking for another LTR, nor do I know she feels the same way.
Is this normal? She called me a brother once, and sometimes mentions how much she appreciates our friendship but the things we do together don't seem like 'Just friend things'. | My friend and I are kind of flirty together but she's called me her brother (once). I want to tell her I like her but I'm scared to make the jump. |
t3_30715l | relationships | I [20F] was just dumped after a year long relationship, and now have two guys [22M] and [30M] who are both interested in me... what should I do? | So I was just dumped by the man of my dreams a couple of weeks ago. We were dating for about a year. I'm still not 100% over him and I am not interested in being in another relationship. I just want something casual so I'm not so lonely.
I started seeing a guy I know [22M], because he just got out of a long relationship too and we were both only interested in something casual. (So far we've only cuddled, made out, touch each other, no sex). We never had any discussions about being exculsive. I think we would have eventually had sex except....
Then one day my ex's best friend [30M] got me drunk and we ended up sleeping together. I've seen him a few times after that and he seems to actually like me, and even asked me out to dinner on Friday. I'm not sure if he wants to date or just wants something casual. We've never talked about being exclusive.
So now I'm not sure what to do. Is it wrong (slutty) to casually see two guys at the same time? Should I choose one? Just tell me what to do. | two guys (one of them is my ex's best friend) are both interested in me. No one mentioned being exclusive. Is it wrong to see them both or should I pick one? |
t3_3hmb6h | Advice | Help with fraud | A couple years ago my girlfriend, now fiancé took a job with Aerus Electrolux in Georgia. I had a great job, made plenty of of money, she just wanted a job to kill time and meet people. (We had just moved) I thought nothing more of it, and we lived our lives.
Fast forward a few months and we start realizing we are going to move again.
This is when I find out her boss has opened numerous lines if credit with her name and SSN. These alwere for equipment, and to help her credit (it was 735)..... I'm livid at this point, but not a lot we could accomplish. Lawyers won't touch it. The total amount is around 12 grand spread out over a few accounts. A couple are no name finance companies, I'm guessing they don't ask a lot of questions.
We froze her credit immediately. We did have a water and air purifier which were returned and we got a receipt. Her former boss agreed to pay off the accounts, which we got in writing. And he did, until now.
Bills arent being paid, we have filed disputes with the two that are behind, filing a fraud letter with the credit bureaus then a fraud affidavit...
Anybody know anything else? | Fiance's ex boss opened lines of credit in her name. Quit paying shit, collectors have started. We're filling out fraud papers. |
t3_sa89j | AskReddit | What is the worst excuse you have made up that was actually accepted? | It was summer and I was probably 16-17. I was with a couple of my buddies and we were bored, as is often the case on summer days. Being exceptionally intelligent young men we hatch a scheme to quell our boredom: throw a stink bomb into someone's car!
So, we bought a [stink bomb] and proceeded to drive around in search of a parked car with its window(s) down. It was only a matter of moments until we found a suitable target, weaponized our fart bag, and tossed the ticking time bomb hence.
The perfect crime right? Wrong. Apparently the owner of the vehicle was nearby and witnessed our shenanigans, promptly calling the police and reporting my friend's plates. From there it was only a short time before we received a call from his parents to get home immediately for a verbal lashing.
By this point in time all parties had figured out that it was just a stink bomb, and no serious damage had been done so we weren't in any legal trouble, but his parents were not pleased to be called by the police. Our brilliant excuse--as I have previously mentioned our vast intelligence--that we came up with on the way back to his house:
"We saw a shiny object on the road so we stopped and picked it up. Idly examining it in the car somehow caused it to activate and when it began to swell we tossed it out the window in fear and *apparently* it happened to land in someone's car."
Rightfully so, they didn't believe this miserable excuse for an excuse. We kept with it though, channeled our fear of getting in trouble into a look of earnest sadness that we were not being believed, and eventually they accepted it. Whether or not (and I've always leaned towards "not") they truly believed it, they laid the discussion to rest after our pathetic display. | Tossed a stink bomb in a car as a prank and told parents we found it on the road and accidentally threw it in a car when we set it off by mistake. |
t3_fsf82 | AskReddit | Anyone else's parents do this kind of shit? | My parents were going out of town for a couple days and I went back home while they were gone to feed the dog. They asked me if I wanted anything in particular to eat while they were gone, and I for some reason said Cocoa Pebbles. I prefer Pebbles to Cocoa Krispies, which fucking suck. Well it's really late and I want a bowl of cereal. I see they've mistakingly bought Krispies. Not a problem, there's a box of Pebbles with a little left. I pour a bowl and start eating. First bite I realize "Wait, these are also Cocoa Krispies." Someone had KNOWINGLY planted Krispies in place of the Pebbles. Now, that wouldn't be a huge problem...it was obvious I was going to be eating Krispies that night, but I ate FUCKING OLD STALE KRISPIES instead of the new Krispies from a new unopened box, which I wouldn't have ever done if I had known that they weren't really Pebbles. Bottom line, my Dad did this to try to prove a point, apparently, that I don't know Pebbles from Krispies. NEWS FLASH: I KNOW THE DIFFERENCE. | Have your parents (or anyone for that matter) tried to pull a quick one and fool you just to prove a point, especially a point that has no real-life importance? |
t3_4euy2n | askwomenadvice | Ladies of Reddit: how to be an attractive badass when not traditionally masculine? [25 M] | A (20 F) crush of mine recently started dating another man. (I had not told her my feelings, so technically no breakup.)
I have the feeling that she is dating him, and not me, because he is older (mid-30s), well-traveled, somewhat more financially established than I am, rides a motorbike, works on his own car. In short, is pretty well into manly-man territory.
I'm taller than him (6' 2.5"), and have a full beard that I try to keep groomed, but otherwise don't quite fit the mold. For instance, I'm thinking of getting a PhD in Signal Processing or some related field after I finish my Master's in Engineering. But I'm still working on getting my driver's license, am not exactly well-traveled, couldn't fix a car if my life depended on it, am dealing with an ass-ton of depression and schitzoaffective disorder, and am also very overweight.
The weight I am trying to change through diet and exercise, for cosmetic reasons. However, I think the other stuff lies outside my nature.
So my question is:
Most women, from what I have read, are attracted to confidence. How can I be an attractive badass if I'm not particularly manly, and may not be in the future? Can a mathematician who does comics in his spare time ever by a "bad boy"? | lost my crush to a manly man, need to know how to be psychologically attractive like him, even though our interests don't overlap, to avoid having this happen again |
t3_2varay | relationships | I [25/M] was worried about how close my girlfriend of 2 years [23/F] was to her boss [34/M] and had a moment of weakness and snooped on her Facebook. Searches for him constantly late at night, and has texting me at the same time saying how she is masturbating. Don't know what to do. | First off- yes I know it is a massive invasion of privacy and for that part I am in the wrong, but I cannot help how I feel.
She has always talked about him and I initially thought this was harmless, but after a while I began to get insecure, especially after seeing how excited she was to see him when we met at her last christmas meal.
Last week she left her facebook logged on on my laptop after leaving (we don't live together yet) and I noticed he was the top result on her search bar.. Overtaken by my insecurity I checked her search history and she has consistently searched for him for the last few months, mostly late at night (she doesn't have him added as a friend)
What brings me to post here is that I noticed a couple of days ago she searched for him a few minutes after texting me saying how she was so horny and that she was touching herself (which I found hot at the time)
I know this sounds pathetic but now whenever she comes home from work I can't get this from the back of my mind
what should I do? And do you think it could be more than a crush? | Girlfriend searches for her boss on facebook constatly and has even done so after telling me how horny she is and that she is touching herself... don't know how to feel. |
t3_529f2g | relationships | Advice on how I [20M] can get over my ex [20F] after 2 years? | Little back story: We met during a family function, she was my dad's co-worker's cousin's friend's daughter. We had a lot in common. We didn't live in the same city though so we had to keep it long distance. It worked well for a while but one day I noticed she was taking longer to text me back. It usually takes her a few minutes, and maybe few hours at most. Her response time probably grew to about the whole day(I would text her in the morning she would respond at night). We talked everyday on skype but as soon as she stopped respondiong to me we stopped talking. I asked her what I did wrong and she said(im paraphasing) "you're a great guy you didn't do anything I'm just super busy with school and stuff and I want to do other things." I admit I can be a little annoying with the texts now that I look back. Every morning I text her good morning. But maybe that wasn't the problem because she was the most honest and straightforward person I know. She would tell me if I was being stupid or annoying. Sorry for the long "backstory". i thought I had gotten over her but around Christmas I was clearing my email inbox and realized that my phone had saved all of her texts to me. I started reading them and I started missing her again. I tried to suppress it until about a month ago I found her birthday gift to me with the note still inside it. Now I can't get over her. On christmas I tried to be "cool" by "accidentally" texting her. I cringed the second I sent it but she didn't send anything back so Idk. Then a month ago I sent her another text saying that I wanted to talk but no response. This killed me but I still want her back??????? What's wrong with me and how do I cure it? Sorry if the post is too long or if this is not the right place | Dug out some texts/gifts from GF from 2 years ago and stupidly texted her twice in 6 months and got no response both times. I still cant get over her. Help pls. |
t3_2zxgjm | tifu | TIFU by masturbating excessively | I'll keep it short.
I am married and we have a child. Wife and I are trying for a second baby, about a year now. Wife is not getting pregnant and she is becoming depressed.
I am also an excessive wanker. I beat the monkey about 2-3 times a day, regardless if it's a 'sex day' or not.
I have just realized that by 'taking care of myself' I am decreasing sperm count and most probably I am to blame for her not getting pregnant.
She is now looking into booking an appointment with a doctor and as soon as they rule her fault out, it will be 'my turn'. | I wank so much, there is not enough baby juice left to impregnate my wife. She will soon find out. Help. |
t3_2y9phg | tifu | TIFU by waving at a girl I like | So this happened a couple days ago, but here goes anyway.
There's this really pretty girl in my class that I kind of like, and I've never had the balls to talk to her.
By coincidence, on Wednesday, I twisted around in my seat to pop my.back and the girl and I make awkward eye contact. I wave at her, and before I know it, a flamboyant gay guy standing behind her hurries over and finds a seat beside me, which surprised me because there were plenty of other seats in the auditorium. Why right next to me?
That's when it hit me -- this guy thought I was waving at him and thought it was an indication that I was interested in *him*.
I spent the rest of class awkwardly trying to indicate that I didn't float that way without hurting his feelings.
Now the girl probably thinks I'm gay...
:( | Waves at pretty girl, the gay guy behind her mistakes my wave for him instead of her, and now the girl now probably thinks I'm gay. |
t3_jtthb | AskReddit | My grandparents gave me my life back. | I almost didn't attend college this semester because of financial probation. Turns out, my school can deny a PRIVATE 3RD party loan, such as one from a bank. I didn't know that, and so they denied my loan from me for school. After building up my confidence so much to try so hard in school, I couldn't believe this was happening... Let alone, happening so close to school. I was so lost at that point I really wasn't sure what I was going to do, mostly try to cope with settling in life for a career in Wal-mart, food, suck inc. etc.
To get this loan, I had to fly to Washington state from Iowa to talk to my grandparents about co-signing. I came back, sure that school was in my clutches. Well, that didn't happen. I explained to them what had happened and that there wasn't much we could do about it. I got a call at about 2 am, from my grandpa. He told me that if I promised at least a B+ average, he'd pay my way for this semester, and I'd pay him back when I was done with college. | School denied my loan and I couldn't go. Grandpa gave out the cash; I'm going to school now, and it starts tomorrow. :D |
t3_mjmpt | dating_advice | Moving in with a girl as friends, want more. | Okay so I'm 19m (20 in a month), uni student living away from home. This year I lived by myself, but next year I'm moving in with a friend (19f) and her friend (19f as well, don't know her though). I've known this girl for about 2 months, and I've been to two gigs with her (she loves music and goes to gigs really often). Anyway, basically I've found myself falling for her really badly, she's everything I have ever looked for in a girl. My problem lies in that I'm going to be living with her and her friend next year, and I'm afraid professing my feelings will make life really awkward for the both of us if she doesn't feel the same. I get pretty mixed messages from her (she doesn't actively send me texts or FB messages, sometimes she just doesn't reply to the ones I send etc.) Should I just bite the bullet or wait it out and see if I can suss out how she feels over time? | 19m, falling for 19f, moving in with her next year, don't know whether to tell her how I feel or not. |
t3_1lf0u3 | dating_advice | I (35m) met a girl through a dating site. She said she was disabled but... | We first made contact about two weeks ago, turns out we both are going to the same college. Her ad mentioned that she had a physical disability and needed a chair to get around. This didn't bother me. Our conversations via text were "ok," but I figured it was just hard to gauge her personality thru text. We agreed to have a quick lunch date after classes.
Upon talking to her in person it was obvious that she had suffered a major brain injury as well. She spoke very slowly and had almost no short term memory (she asked the same question several times). I wasn't expecting this at all, and I'll admit that during a certain point in the date I teared up just a bit because I felt really bad for her. (I actually cried a bit in the car.)
She's a lovely girl, but I'm just not sure she's capable of having a full relationship (at least the kind I am seeking). I didn't feel much of a connection emotional to her in terms of someone I'd want to date, but (because I'm that guy) I do want to meet for lunch now and then as friends. That being said, I'm afraid I'd lead her on by doing that. I'm sitting here now overcome with emotions because I don't really know what to do, but I don't want to be just another asshole to her. | Met a girl whose brain injury was worse than she let on in her ad, but I don't want to be an asshole. |
t3_3au21m | relationships | My [18M] girlfriend [17F] of about half a year told me that she will never have sex with me, yet keeps teasing it and it is slowly killing me. I'm also worried about what this means for our relationship. | So me and my girlfriend were hanging out at my house yesterday just watching Netflix and stuff and our conversation turned to sex. She knows that I want to have sex, but she doesn't want to, which is fine with me at this point in our relationship, since it is still kinda early.
What is bothering me is what she kept joking about sex and just kinda teasing it. We were alone for the most part and she kept non-seriously suggesting that we go upstairs (we were in my basement) to my room and have sex. I said that would be great but I also told her I knew that she wasn't serious. She also kept rubbing my leg, poking me close to my crouch, and other teasing like stuff. Whatever.
Our conversation continued and she told me that she will never have sex with me. Ever. Under any circumstances. I already kinda knew this from previous conversations, but they were all of a more joking nature than this one. Well that sucks for me. Oh well. I love this girl enough that I can deal with that, at least for now, but it's slowly killing me inside how much she teases sex and then denies it. We both want this relationship to be serious and last, but I kind of doubt now that that it will last because of this situation. I also want to say this relationship isn't about sex, I'm fine without sex. What I am worried about now is her commitment to our relationship. If she will never have sex, then, what else won't she do, even for the sake of our relationship? I just have no idea how to proceed with this relationship, since me and her have already reached the point where we've done everything we can that's non-sexual and have been there for awhile. I don't want to sound like I'm being entitled to sex , because I'm not. No sex is fine at this point. I respect her wishes, but what she is doing with the teasing is slowly killing me inside and I don't know what to do now. | Girlfriend teases sex all the time, I get denied , and then she says she will never have sex with me. Ever |
t3_4q2qju | relationships | I [16 M] Struggle to make lasting or close friends. | I was recently hit by the fact that I have been in my current group of peers at school for 6 years now, and yet have failed to make any close friends, or even any that would actively want to be around me. For 6 years, I have watched people find their niche in the 110 of us, forming close, tightly knit groups of people. Somehow I have ended up as an outcast, floating between these people, not unwelcome in most cases, yet never accepted either.
I've tried making myself a best friend in order to feel less lonely at least, but I've found that people I considered close to me are reluctant to take part in activities with me. There's always an excuse. Perhaps they are real excuses, and I am unlucky. Perhaps they aren't. Unfortunately, I'm a terrible judge of people, and my inner paranoia sometimes leads me to fear the worst, pushing those I like further away.
I'm 16 years old and haven't been to a party in over a year. Heck, I haven't been out in over 6 months. I feel like the best years of my life are slipping away because I am either a pain to be around, or have been too lazy in building bridges with people.
I must admit some character flaws of mine. I am an ENTP character type, commonly known as a "debater". I enjoy arguments, and see them as an intellectual challenge, but often go too far, and have in the past made enemies through simple discussions. I also find it hard to overlook people's flaws, and I am an awful judge of people. This has caused me serious problems socially in the past, and at present I feel stuck, as if I will mess up in any friendship I should have the luck of stumbling upon.
Ultimately, my current situation is having a serious impact on my mental state. I'm incredibly lonely. Now that my exams are finished, I have 3 months of sitting at home and doing nothing ahead of me, and I feel like I need to fix it, for my own sanity. Any advice at all is appreciated. | 16 y/o guy, socially inept, struggling to make close friends and get outside on a regular basis. Send help |
t3_1h7ja3 | relationship_advice | Boyfriend [20/M] of 9 months seems to take me [20/F] for granted, breakup considerations complicated by family tragedy | Hi Reddit! I've had concerns for the last month or so about the relationship I've been in since last September. There wasn't any outward red flag, but I started to realize he didn't seem to care very much - he doesn't really listen to me or pay attention to my life outside of him, doesn't show much interest in my thoughts and feelings. He will often just shoot down opinions and ideas I have, and get angry with me when I try to have any sort of intellectual discussion, disregarding my opinions and curiosities. He has never told me he loves me, but depends on my companionship in a way that I've begun to worry that to him, the presence of me as a girlfriend is more important to him than my character. He just sort of...expects the relationship to keep going without putting any thought or effort into it.
I have tried talking to him about these sorts of things, but he gets defensive and any apologies and promises to change seem insincere (and so far have not changed anything). He gets angry with me because he blames his behavior on having to work and go to school both full time, and thinks that his stress from his difficult schedule is something I should just support him in.
So I've been considering the breakup, but he recently found out his mother most likely has very severe cancer. He's very close with his mother - he still lives at home during summertime. And I feel like a terrible person for freaking out over this but even before this came up I was getting so frustrated for putting energy into someone who wasn't giving nearly much back. Now it will only get more difficult. I care about him and want him to have someone to support him (he doesn't have close friends he confides in) but I don't know if he's giving me enough of a reason to. Yet I feel trapped, it would be too cruel to leave now, especially since school will keep us in each others lives and I want to leave this on as smooth of terms as possible. | was planning on leaving boyfriend for taking me for granted, now I feel like I can't because heartbreakingly his fucking amazing mom may be dying. |
t3_4inoci | relationships | I [31/F] don't want "spark" in my relationship [35/M] – 7 months. Friends & family seem to think is a problem. Thoughts please? | I feel stupid typing this first world problem at all, but it really gets to me sometimes.
I don't handle intense relationships well...relationships that start out with a lot of "spark". I completely lose myself in them, and end up with high levels of anxiety and obsessive thoughts. Sometimes I cease to be able to function normally. I know the obvious thing to say is, "You need to work on yourself, go see a professional, etc", and while it's good, sound advice, and is definitely something that's in progress, that doesn't help with my current relationship.
I don't feel intensely for my current boyfriend. We care for each other a lot, have told one another "I love you", but I don't lose my mind when I'm with him (or without him). Some friends and family have made a point of suggesting that there's something missing in the relationship because I don't feel butterflies when I see him, or miss him terribly when he's away...that these are signs that it's not true love. I argued that "butterflies" equate to anxiety, and why on earth would I want to feel anxiety when I saw him.
Can someone tell me that it's okay not to have a Hollywood romance? That I'm not crazy to seek out an intense relationship? Or am I wasting my bf's time because I don't want to throw up from anxiety when I see him? | Feeling "spark" with partners makes me go crazy, friends and family still think it's important. Making me doubt my relationship. |
t3_llla5 | AskReddit | Could use some advice on living arrangements.. | I'm newly on my own with a roommate who was a friend of mine. We've been living together since August and until recently it hasn't been too bad at all. However, we got into a disagreement this week and now she's threatening to move out. We both signed a year lease, and when we moved in I loaned her the cash to cover her side of the deposit and moving expenses, about $950. We split everything evenly every month, and although it hasn't been easy it's been worth it to have our own place. But just all of a sudden everything flipped and she tells me she's in too much debt to live on her own and because of recent personal arguments she's done, and wants to leave. I don't know what to do at this point. We both signed the lease and I know I can't afford this place on my own. I also am scared of the thought of living with a stranger or someone who I wouldn't be comfortable around in my own home.
I've tried talking to her, but I'm so angry I don't think I could really have a conversation with out going off on her right now. I'm fucking pissed really. I just am curious as to what action I could take at this point, I know legally she is on the contract and has to pay rent until it's up, but what if she refuses? What if I get evicted and ruin my credit because she just up and left? What is it like living with a stranger or regular "roommate"? We're both females by the way in our young 20's, another reason I'm creeped by the thought of living with a stranger. | My roommate is trying to move out 3 months into our 12 month lease because of petty reasons and sudden "debt", could use advice so I don't get fucked. |
t3_4b0699 | legaladvice | Domestic abuse | Hi everyone. I posted something a few months back, but I know my current SO has a Reddit and checks my posts so here it goes. Been together about a year. Everything started out wonderful. Verbal abuse and physical abuse started about 6 months in. Called the cops(didn't press charges). Never had concrete evidence he was cheating (found it yesterday, with multi people all in relationships and married as well).
I'm leaving. We share an apartment together, names both on the lease. Gas and cable/internet is in my name. Most of the furniture is mine. We have two months left on the lease-i planned on talking to the landlord and paying my share of the last two months and telling him he can keep the deposit. Taking all my belongings and getting a restraining order. The sticky part is I'm a nurse currently, and smoke weed maybe every 3 months. Not heavy, like one day every 3 months (smoked yesterday however). I've heard of crazy stories where exs call in an anonymous tip that I do drugs, I get tested and I'll lose my license. It's stupid on my part to smoke, and trust me I don't plan to anytime soon. Any tips/advice is greatly appreciated. | leaving an abusive relationship, worried my soon to be ex will call my board of nursing or place of work and get me drug tested. |
t3_4wz7ms | relationships | I [24 M] have a huge crush on a frequent customer [40 F] and she has shown genuine interest in me. How do I take this further? | So I work at a thrift store and there is this lady who shops there. First time I saw her, I was INSTANTLY attracted to me. I mean she's absolutely beautiful. She smiled at me and took my flirting attempts well. Everytime she would come in afterwards, she would smile at me, asking me how I was, etc.
Recently about 3 weeks ago, she walks in and this time, I didn't seek her out. She seeked me out! Never happened before in my life. And when she found me, she hugged me. We are not talking about a wimpy side hug. I'm talking full body contact, full embrace. I even touched the side of her boob accidentally and she didn't notice.
Now every time she comes in, we hug! Best 10 seconds of my life.
Today we had a conversation while I was working. She was telling me about how she wants to retire from her job. I said "Oh you and your husband will retire?" She then told me she wasn't married. She was looking for the right guy.
This rung off slot machines in my head.
So I was gonna ask her for her number to further this but she cashed out before I could get a moment to speak to her again.
What do I say to her the next time I see her? She's a frequent shopper so I'll see her sooner rather than later.
P.S. She has a 20-something son and I'm cool with that but I don't know if she dates young guys. I will ask her though.
How do I further this with her? I don't just see this as sex but as a possible relationship. | I'm interested in this older woman that shops frequently in the store I work at, I want to date her and see where things go. How do I go about asking this woman on a date? |
t3_2icarb | relationships | Me [25F] with my SO [31M] 2.5 years, he broke up with me yesterday. Am I a psycho for not being sad? | My boyfriend (now ex!) and I have been together 2.5 years until he broke up with me yesterday morning. I have been incredibly unhappy through the duration of the relationship but never had the strength or courage to leave for fear of losing everything that I invested into the relationship. I was always the most emotionally / financially invested person and I couldn't bear to walk away - I just wanted to wake up one day and have him be the man he claimed to be when we first started dating.
But now that it's done I'm not sad about what I have sacrificed and I am not sad because I cannot imagine him not being in my life. I am thrilled about life again and what it has just around the corner for me.
Does that make me a bad person? Why would I miss someone that treated me so terribly? | boyfriend dumped me (2.5 year relationship). I cried for an hour when he left and less than 24 hours later, don't feel anything but joy and optimism. Is there something wrong with me? |
t3_4zll4d | relationships | I [27m] said to my spouse [26f] I wanted a divorce. I messed up. Is it over? | We were distant (in our relationship) from each other for about 6 months. I am against divorce and really only think it should be used in abusive situations. I guess I am old school in that sense. I thought she was too.
Any way, we were unhappy in our relationship the last year or so out of 5 years of marriage and being together for 8.
One day she wanted to have sex and I said no. She asked why and I said I was unhappy. She wanted to know if that meant it is over. I said yes I want a divorce.
I think I made this rash decison because I had a "friend" who was telling me I need to divorce her. I fought him on it for the longest time but I think that played a big influence on my decision. I should mention that we moved 2 years ago over a 1,000 miles away from our friends and family to experience a new city. This "friend" was really the only person I had to talk with besides my wife.
I went to an AirBnB to separate. After two weeks of thinking about it I realized these were all problems we could have fixed with better communication and I love her.
I told her how I felt and that I want to get counseling to try and work things out. She said no and that she moved on. She said that she can never trust me again.
It has been a month now since I told her how I felt but she still wants a divorce. I don't want to give up. Anyone have any thoughts or opinions that might help? | I told my wife I wanted a divorce. Two weeks later saw it was a mistake and now she wants a divorce. Is it over? |
t3_1zrd8n | relationships | I [17M] get very upset when I think about my girlfriend [18M] of 2 months having fun with my other friends. | I dont distrust her, but I'm afraid that when she hangs out with my friends she will have more fun than when she hangs out with me. She seems to laugh and converse and have fun around other people, but it never seems to be the case with me.
I'm a pretty boring person, and I'm afraid shell see that when she hangs out with others and has fun.
We'd been good friends for two years before we dated, and she said she liked me because I made her feel comfortable. We both have anxiety and depression issues, so we understand each other in that respect. However, when she's said I can never cheer her up it seems.
my best friend is who I'm jealous of the most. My girlfriend and he connect well, and he's super goofy and always makes her laugh. He's also touchy and touches and hugs her a lot.
I'm close to both of them and trust that they wouldn't do anything, but I really don't know. I'm afraid shell leave me for someone better. | I get jealous when my girlfriend hangs out with other people because I think shell realize how boring I am and ditch me. |
t3_1bplwa | relationships | Concerned with best friend(17m) 2 month relationship with gf (17f) | So me and my best friend have been roommates for 2 years. He is like a brother to me. His 2 month relationship with his gf(17f) is making me concerned, so I figured this would be the best place to turn to help.
This year at a dance he wanted me to go with him to meet girls. I usually don't go since I have a gf already. I decide to go and he ends up hooking up with a random girl from the dance. 10 minutes after the dance she tells him, "she has feelings for him." initially my best friend (lets call him Bruss and the girl Lena) didn't feel anything for Lena. But Bruss was desperate for girls so he goes out with her. Even after learning her history:
-She is a huge raver
-she has had multiple one night stands at raves with guys 21+
-has a reputation as an easy girl.
-she goes out of state and stays in hotel rooms with 21+ people
-emotionally needy
She is a wild child with her parents out of the picture. I have the gut feeling she is not to be trusted, I also don't like her. She has changed Bruss completely he used to hate dub-step now that is all he listens too. Changed all his interest to hers. He spends all her time with her. talking to her 24/7. He wont even look at another girl, because he thinks it is cheating. they also have PDA issues; no shame making out in front of parents for example. Just no shame in general.
So I'm asking reddit am I bad friend for not supporting them, or should I just sit down and talk to him about it? (I am a huge fan of open dialogue) What should I do, because he is new at love, and this girl I feel is not right for him. | Best friend is dating a wild child who I feel would cheat on him no problem, but don't know what to do since he is a love blind romantic. |
t3_egsyb | AskReddit | I am an international student in the USA and have a month's holiday from 20th Dec onwards. Please help me make the best of this time Reddit. | I have been doing my post-graduate studies in Arizona for the past 3 months (my first time in USA) and we have a 30 day holiday from December 20th onwards. Instead of going back to my home country, I thought I'd use the money to check out this vast beautiful country with a few of my other international friends.
Being students from developing countries, we can't afford much but we plan on a budget of approximately $1000 to $2000 per person as we want to make the best of this time. I am from a tropical country and would prefer places that aren't totally freezing (doesn't mean it rules out the famous New York winter but I don't want to be in frozen places throughout). Also, I am not into skiing or adventure sports.
We were planning on touring the West Coast and checking out places like LA and California. We also want to stay in the woods somewhere for a bit or in a countryside ranch - offbeat villages or towns which will be beautiful and where there'll be some interesting stuff to do - the kind of stuff they show on Discovery travel channel.
Please help me plan this trip, Reddit. None of us have been to USA before and there are so many websites etc. dedicated to traveling we just don't which places to go. Any suggestions/travel tips will be really helpful. Being a long time Redditor, I know it's bad form to ask for upvotes but I guess many redditors would be planning holidays around this time and if this thread hits the frontpage it should be beneficial to many of us. | Please give me some tips as to how I should spend my holiday in USA from Dec. 20th to Jan 20th |
t3_1kn8bc | relationships | I'm [23/F] confused about the status of our relationship and would like some insight as to what he's [23/M] thinking, but without asking him directly. | I recently moved to a new city and started seeing this guy that I've known for about three years. We have some history and we've always been really flirty towards each other, but since I moved, we've spent several days a week together and even though it hasn't been that long, I'm starting to wonder what's going on- but I'm not interested in rocking the boat yet by asking him directly, so I thought I would ask the nice people of /r/relationships about their insight to this situation.
Since I moved, he's called and texted me at least three times a week to hang out. We'll go to dinner (although we've only done that once, the rest of the time it's drinks) and spend the entire evening (8 to ~12) together just talking and having a good time.
Typically, he will text me and we'll spend time together and then he'll go two or three days without contacting me. I've gotten into the habit of not contacting him at all, because every time I do, he has plans or is busy. He works long hours, and his responses take forever, so I feel like I'm annoying him. That angle seems to be working, though, because every two or three days without fail, he contacts me to go out even if I've been silent.
In the past two weeks, we've probably seen each other at least seven or eight times, and I really like this guy. It has gotten physical, but nothing past making out. I don't push it, and neither does he. I'm not complaining about this, but I find it curious.
It's obvious that we're attracted to each other mentally and physically, but I'm not ready to ask him directly- it's only been two weeks. My point is, if this were you, what would you be thinking? Is he into me and just taking it slow, or am I just a distraction to him? | Crush is always "busy" or "has plans" whenever I text him, but contacts me regularly to hang out. We get physical, but never go past making out. Is he into me, or just wasting time? |
t3_3roae1 | relationships | Me [27F] and my BF [30 M] of 1 year, we broke up 2 weeks ago, and I'm devastated. | We had been together for a little over a year. The first 6 months were amazing. The last 6 months, I felt like he loved me less.
He had an exgirlfriend of 7 years that broke up with him 6 years ago. That break up was really really hard on him. In the last 6 months, I felt like he still loved her / missed her / didn't love me as much as he used to.
Near the end of our relationship, I became a bit needy – wanting to see him more, wanting him to cuddle me more, and felt that I wasn't getting the attention and love that I used to get from him. The last few months were causing me sadness because I felt insecure and not as loved as I did before. I had brought it up with him before, a few times, but his affection didn't really change. He was always tired from his work, and had many hobbies, which is good, but I wanted to see him more often. In the beginning, we were seeing each other all the time and it felt so natural. Near the end, I just didn't feel like a priority anymore.
I miss him so much, and love him so much. I feel like I would have always felt insecure during our relationship because of his 7 year relationship with his ex (even though it ended 6 years ago, it still seemed like he was hurt by the break up).
We haven't contacted each other in the last two weeks. I wrote him a letter yesterday explaining how I felt about his ex, but I don't think he'll reply. He probably has already moved on.
This hurts so much. I've had break ups before and I know time eventually heals, but, I just miss him so much, and still love him lots, even though I know the relationship wouldn't work. My mom didn't like him and was quite rude to him -- he was upset, didn't make an effort to change things. | Painful breakup. Hurts like hell. Miss him, and can't stop crying. Don't have a question, but need support. |
t3_ss98o | AskReddit | Should I support my wife putting her name on a title for a house that her father wants to buy? Why or why not? | **Background:**
My father-in-law works in commercial real estate in Arizona and before the market crashed he was ready to retire and spend the rest of his days sport fishing in Mexico from his 40' Riveria yacht. Well, the yacht is gone now and I think he still does well, but he is not as well off as he once was. Outside of serving as a realtor for big wig clients he buys dilapidated apartment buildings, fixes them up, fills the units, and then sells for a profit. He is managing a few of these now.
My wife and I currently own a condo that we've just moved out of and are putting on the market this week for rent. We have downsized and are renting a room from a friend. We plan to pay down school debt and then buy a house in the next couple of years. We both work full time, but I am currently the bread winner in the family.
**Quandry:**
My father-in-law is looking to move to Colorado with his wife and recently sent my wife the following email.
**"If I found a house in Colorado to buy, would you consider applying for the loan and putting your name on title? I would co-sign and be co-borrower and make all the payments, etc, etc. I am just not able to put anything in my name at the moment."**
I like my father in law, but I don't think that I should support this situation and I would greatly appreciate advice from anybody who has been in this sort of situation before or has knowledge of the law/accounting/real estate aspects of this situation.
Thanks | Father-in-law wants my wife to put her name on a title for a house that he wants to buy and live in: He would make payments etc. |
t3_421bfn | relationships | Me [20 M] with my gf [17 F] of 11 months. I don't think I love her anymore but she's still deeply in love with me. | I'm in a relationship with my gf for 11 months now and I don't think I love her anymore.
It's partly the age difference. I find her annoying most of the time (can't stand her loud voice, always bitches about her work, she's making whole stories about any stupid thing on facebook and other 17 y/o girl general annoyance).
I just started University this winter and she's in college. I don't really have time to spend with her anymore.
She loves me, a lot. She keeps asking if I love her and telling me how much she loves me and makes plans for our future. I tell her I do but I don't really.. Sex is still good, she's a five head on a seven body.
Should i end it or what? | gf's younger, annoying, i don't have time and don't really love her but she does, should I pull the plug? |
t3_3ufawa | relationships | Me [43 M] with my acquaintance [55 F] 3 months, she smacked me on the rear end in a buffet line | I was attending a club meeting. A buffet dinner is provided. While in line at the buffet, an acquaintance (previously unseen) straight-up smacked me on the ass by way of startle-inducing greeting.
It shocked me so much I couldn't think of how to call it out as not okay. We aren't friends. We're barely acquaintances. If I had done the same to any female in the room, I'd expect the police to be called. Nobody who saw it called her out (I guess that was my job, and I blew it).
In case it's relevant to anyone: Nope, I don't find her in the least bit attractive. Ugh. Just no. On principle, it shouldn't matter. She should keep her hands to herself.
I'll probably run into her at other events. Do I bring it up and say that wasn't okay? Do I pretend it didn't happen and let that be a hopefully one-time thing?
Bonus: I told my wife [51F] about it. She thinks it was f--ked up but not a big enough deal to follow up. If things were reversed, it would be a very big deal to me. | Publicly smacked on the ass by an acquaintance, did not call it out at the time. What do I do? |
t3_346avu | relationships | (22M) can't get over (22F) after year of mutual feelings and brief dating | So this girl had shown big interest in me over the summer and we had hooked up once or twice. She had been waiting for me to make a move (which I was oblivious to at the time, partly because I wasn't looking for something serious at the time, but did really like her) and we continued to talk for a few months until she started to see someone else for a little while. About midway through January her and I had a talk about us and she told me she had started to see the other guy because she had grown tired of waiting, he had asked her out, etc... but that she was still very interested in me, and I in her. So, after a week or so of talking, I asked her out on our first date.
We dated for about a month and one night she sat me down and told me that she could not do anything serious with me because of a few reasons: moving away at end of year (we are both seniors), couldn't get herself emotionally involved in something that was just going to end, didn't want to be committed, etc. All valid points. All this very much upset me because it was like this girl I had liked for so long and had liked me told me nothing could happen after pursuing each other for so long. She told me we could continue to see each other until she had to leave (~2 months until school ended) but only if our relationship was not serious. I told her I didn't want to get involved if it couldn't go anywhere, so we broke things off.
I still have to see her all the time because she is part of my friend group, and I have been kicking myself so hard because I still have to see her and hang out with her but am missing out on everything we could have been doing these last two months had I just said yes. I thought I was making a decision that was best for myself in the long run, but it doesn't feel that way and it has been 2 months since we ended things and I haven't been able to get over it. | girl and I interested in each other for a year, start dating too late and can't find a way to get over it. need reassurance I did the right thing |
t3_35hmiu | relationships | Me [22/F] How do I figure out if it's me or the relationship causing me to be unhappy | Title is pretty self-explanatory.
I don't know if it's me that is making me unhappy or certain things in the relationship that are lacking. I don't feel like I have all my baggage sorted out so being in a relationship is very tough at times and lately I've been feeling more distant because dealing with these emotions is exhausting on top of other things. There isn't really any red flags other than certain unintentional triggers that affect my mood and maybe disillusions to how I believe things should be.
How do I figure out if i I don't want to throw away something good and is there a way for me to mature into being able to handle a relationship? | unhappy, have depression sometimes feel the grass is greener but don't know if it would just be the same and if its really all just me and my dillusions |
t3_1rh68l | relationship_advice | Highly dysfunctional family, SO [M30] of 10 months and Thanksgiving. Please help! | My bf [M30] and I [F28] have been dating for 10 months. We moved in together recently, and so far it is the healthiest, most wonderful relationship I've ever had. My mother has met him a few times now, but she doesn't know him too well yet. The rest of my family [M35, F42, M47] and their spouses have not met him.
My oldest brother and his wife are the biggest issue. They are uncomfortable with me bringing my SO to dinner on Thursday. Of course, in true dysfunctional style, they didn't actually talk to me about this, instead they made our mother communicate for them. The reason they gave for the discomfort is that they don't know him, and they don't want a stranger judging how they parent. Now, they are shitty parents. Not abusive or neglectful, just shitty. They are agoraphobic, hypochondriac, paranoid, and delusional. They are people who should not have been allowed to adopt children. The rest of the family, even my extremely forgiving and kind-hearted brother think they are off their rockers.
My family only gets all together for holidays and kid's birthdays. I don't feel that a kid's birthday party is the best time to introduce my SO to my family, so I've been planning on bringing him to Thanksgiving for a while.
I'm bringing my SO on Thursday, that is not a question. He is my love, he is my other half, he is *my* family. I was married for 6 years to a man that my family liked, even my asshole oldest brother and his batshit insane wife. Of course they didn't know that my marriage was unhealthy, we were unhappy a lot of the time. Now I have a man that loves me so thoroughly, a man that is patient with my flaws, a man that inspires me to do better for myself, but that apparently doesn't matter to them. I'm not spending this holiday without him, but I'm also unwilling to miss spending it with the rest of my family. So my question is not "should i bring him". | Crazy/judgemental/lying Brother and his Wife don't want me to bring SO to Turkey Day Dinner. I'm sick of their illogical and hurtful behaviors, so I'm bringing him. |
t3_2pd69e | relationships | Wife [23F] decided she's willing to work on our relationship, but is no longer attracted to me[28M] | My wife and I met 3 years ago and got married in February of 2012. We are going through a really really rough patch. Long story short I was going through depression and didn't realize it, spent the first year and a half of our marriage playing xbox and drinking whiskey while she took care of our 5 year old and our infant. I work she was a stay at home mom up until a few weeks ago.
We fought and she threatened to leave but we never worked on anything it was just arguing. Well I guess finally she had enough. She decided to leave me. About the same time I went and got my physical and after talking to my doctor she decided that I had some anxiety/depression issues and mild ADD so she got me on some medication and I'm like a new man, I have so much drive and happiness.
I've done a 180 (mind you it hasn't been very long only a few weeks). I put the xbox away and haven't had a drop to drink and quite some time, months. She was still planning on leaving but I guess my effort and the difference in my personality and just overall behavior got her to rethink leaving me. This weekend she told me she was willing to go to counseling after a month of telling me no. So I was super excited and ready to go to counseling and get back on our track to a happy family and marriage.....
Then,, yesterday we came home from her fathers house and she was acting kind of strange. We get home and she finally comes out with it. She's not attracted to me, she feels nothing when she kisses me or when I touch her. There is even a slight repulsion. Needless to say I was destroyed.
I'm hoping that this is normal, that given the amount of emotional pain and distance that she associates me with negativity and that's caused her to no longer be attracted to me. Is that true? Is this something we can get back? | Wife fell out of love with OP and now we are trying to work on things but she is no longer attracted to me, is that normal? Or fixable? |
t3_42cz0o | relationships | My (m16) dad's girlfriend (f50) treats me like garbage. | So I'm 16 years old and I currently live with my father and his girlfriend Sarah (fake name). Sarah has started being super controlling towards me, and treating me like garbage. So I get up everyday at 5:30 and I go to school. I'm never in trouble, all my school work is always done, but yet she still acts like I do nothing. If I don't do something she likes without warning I'll be punished.
For instance today. It's the first Saturday in awhile that I've had time for myself. I got up a little later than usual, and I played Smash with my friends. About an hour and a half later I get booted from the match. Thinking the router was having issues because sometimes it does I walked into the living room to see if it was working. It surely was, Sarah was in a Skype call with her granddaughter. She had called our isp and had the password changed. She could tell I was pissed off, yet she egged me on. She said "what's wrong sweetie?". I didnt bother saying anything and walked away. It may seem pretty petty, but I rarely get free time and I just wanted to enjoy my weekend. What should I do to try and work this out with her? She's really not a bad person, she makes my dad pretty happy, but I get tired of being a burden to her.
Sorry for any typos. Had to type this on mobile because no WiFi. | Dad's girlfriend is pretty controlling towards me. Changed WiFi password today while I was doing something and egged me on looking for a fight. Looking towards a solution that could boost our relationship because she makes my dad happy. |
t3_4799w5 | tifu | TIFU by not knowing how to use a machine in the woodshop | This was actually yesterday. I'm doing a project with my science olympiad team with my high school, and we needed to sand down a wooden cylinder. I'm usually very adept at using power tools, I've been taking classes and doing after school activities for 3 years around them, so I figured I could figure out how to use a lathe (it rotates a piece of wood around and around). However, I didn't realize the piece of wood required TWO things on the ends, not one. I only put the sharp end on one side, and pushed the clamp over, tightening the piece of wood. I turned it on, and BAM!!! Everything turned black. The girl next to me screamed, and I couldn't feel my face (I wasn't the weeknd either). I went to the hospital and I had to get 4 stitches, I busted my lip. To make things worse, when they were sewing it up, I don't think they used enough numbing stuff because I felt every single thing. Lesson learned: don't mess with machinery you don't know how to use, no matter how safe it looks. | I didn't know how to use a machine in the woodshop and I got hit in the face with a piece of wood. |
t3_101p9t | relationships | Why am I letting this go on? | Hey Reddit. Long time follower, first time poster. Here goes nothing.
I [21F] have been dating my boyfriend [20m] for almost a year now. We're long distance as I go to school 4 hours away. Recently things have been a little rough. Along with disliking the distance, he has brought up how sometimes he just doesn't feel like talking to me, which is really hard with a LDR. For him, a year is a long time to be dating, but I've been in longer relationships before, so it's nothing to me. He says he's been feeling scared of the commitment, but doesn't want to end things. He wants to keep dating and have fun and see where it goes. I'm having a hard time because he doesn't feel like talking, which makes me seem like a bother. I've been told I deserve better, but I can't make myself want to break up.
Any advice would be helpful. Sometimes it's just nice to get different perspective from others. | my boyfriend of almost a year is afraid of commitment, but doesn't want to end things. This is making him distant. Help? |
t3_1ht2ac | relationships | My[23M] girlfriend [23F] of 3 months is significantly more rich than I am, worried about outcome | Hey there,
So I've been with this amazing girl for the past 3 months and all is well. However, one thing that worries me is that she is from one of the wealthiest families in her home country; she's used to being treated like a princess and I can't give her any of that right now.
Now that we just started long distance due to different job locations, she's going on trips to places I can never dream to afford, hanging out with royalties in "networking" programs, etc, basically things that are a distant world to me.
Is it rational for me to be worried that eventually, either her parents or herself would realize that our family backgrounds are just too different? She says she really likes me and ignores all her mom's efforts to set her up with guys from other well-of families, but I'm afraid one day she's going to cave. | girlfriend is from an extremely wealthy family, and I can't provide the things she's used to enjoying right now. What can I do to make her feel just as happy? |
t3_4vcobg | relationships | Me [26 F] with my GF [34 F] of 7 years, don't know if I am being a jerk about not wanting to hang out with her older brothers [~42M and 44M] | My girlfriend and I have an 8 year gap that is usually not a problem, but I don't know if I am being unreasonable when it comes to hanging out with her older brothers.
Whenever she wants them to come over to our place or she wants to hang out with them I usually try to opt out and she resents me for that. Don't get me wrong, they are good people; I honestly just don't have anything in common with them. I understand that it's her family and that a day of hanging out with them won't kill me, but they're very heavy drinkers and my girlfriend drinks a lot when she's with them too and I personally don't like it when people get to that point. I used to do that when I was in my early 20s and now I find it unhealthy as I am also trying to lose a few pounds for a trip my girlfriend and I are taking in a few weeks.
I love my girlfriend and she's always down to hang out my brother [28M] and my parents [48F and 49M], and I don't know how I would feel if she were to avoid hanging out with them. Her brothers have been aggressive in the past and they like to talk shit to each other when they're drunk and start fights. Whenever her whole family gets together though I am always there and I don't have any problem with hanging out with her sister [36F] and her husband who also like to drink but it's way more relaxed.
So, am I wrong? What should I do? Any help/suggestion will be appreciated. | I don't like hanging out with my girlfriend's older brothers because we don't have much in common. Am I being a jerk? |
t3_nsuc2 | AskReddit | Most awkward "So i ran into my ex.." story? | I'll get it started..
Last night me and a few friends were trying to get a video game so we ran over to walmart to check and see if they had it. Turns out they didn't so we went to gamestop to see if they were still open (It was 9:30pm). Turns out they weren't so we decided to make a trip out to the closest target, about a 10 minute drive.
We get into target and make a lap around the store trying to find the electronics section and when when we are just about there i hear "..Josh..?". I look over to see a face that i didn't immeditly recognize so there was literally a 10 second pause where i'm just sitting there staring at this girl trying to figure out who this person talking to me was. My brain finally catches up and i realize it was my ex, who I didn't leave on the best of terms.
All i could think to say was "Oh shit". There was another awkward pause. "Is that my sweatshirt?" she asked. My brain is in full flight fight or freeze mode. After another long pause I managed to get out "Yeah..". Another 10-15 seconds of staring at each other not sure if i should talk or leave i say "I'm gana go.." and go to catch up with my friends. I Catch up with them and tell them I'm going to go outside and have a cigarette to calm down.
While outside smoking I process everything that just happened. When i finish the cigarette I take the sweatshirt off and go back inside to offer it back to her. I try to give her the sweatshirt back and she looks at me (I'm not sure if she was about to cry or tear my head off) and says "I don't want that". I say "OK" and walk out.
Turns out she was in town visiting her family for the holidays. Literally the last person i ever expected to see again, ever. | Ran into my ex who was visiting her parents for the weekend wearing her sweatshirt. Most awkward moment of my entire life ensued |
t3_3wq1i0 | relationships | I [25/f] was stood up last night by [28/m]. I work with him. What do I do when I see him? | I've been friends with Ryan, 28m for about a year now. We've been on a few dates recently as we've gotten to know each other more. Last night we made plans to go see a movie before the holiday craziness of our families.
I waited at the movie theatre for about 30 minutes before I realized he wasn't coming. Our text messages (and he confirmed) was the right place and time earlier in the day. But he never showed up.
I haven't heard anything from him. The issue is, I will see him at work tomorrow. This would have been like our 5th date or whatever (we've been dating for about 2 months). I don't know what to say to him. I texted him once before I left, saying "Hey! I'm at the movies right now, and it's 6:30. If you can't make it it's okay, but please let me know." I had no reply and that's all I've communicated with him.
What do I say when I see him tomorrow? Should I ignore? Give him a second chance? It is one of the worse feelings in the world. | Got stood up by my (25f) date (28m) last night with no response. I will see him tomorrow. What do I say/do? |
t3_3pbjmy | tifu | TIFU by falling asleep on a chocolate bar NSFW maybe? | This happened 2 nights ago. I always eat an oz. of dark chocolate for desert after dinner, except this time I messed up bad.
I work night shifts and I'm in the transition of going back to day shifts. I got absolutely no time to flip my schedule so I've been extremely exhausted these past few days.
I got home around 7:30 in the morning, grabbed my chocolate bar, and jumped in bed to snack on it while watching some youtube videos. The minute I took a bite, I pretty much crashed. I was still in my work outfit with my shoes on too.
I woke up around 8 pm and got out of bed. Popped in the kitchen when my mom starts giggling as she turns to my dad and points at me. I asked her what was so funny and she loudly says "KevanBacon shit himself!!" I was extremely confused as I was barely even awake. She told me to go look in the bathroom and check my pants.
When I got into the bathroom I understood why she was laughing so hard. Chocolate was EVERYWHERE. Up the back of my shirt. Down both legs of my pants. In my hair. It was a crime scene. My bed was even worse. Theres smears of melted chocolate stains going up and down my bed, blanket, and pillow. To make matters worse, I had my clean clothes piled up at the end of my bed where the chocolate got all over those too. I'm the type of person who moves a crap ton in my sleep and my bed is really small which made the extent of the mess even worse.
I threw my work clothes in the laundry to prepare for work that night, paying no mind to how much dark chocolate stays in the fabric.
I was running late to work so I threw my clothes on the second they were dry and rushed to work. About 4 hours into my shift I went to the restroom where I was greeted with a decent sized brown stain running down the left side of my pant leg. I had been working all night and people probably assumed I shit myself at work too.
I'm scared to go back to work. | Fell asleep on chocolate bar. Looks like I made a shitty mess. Went into work after washing work clothes I fell asleep in. Stained chocolate remained and it looks like I shit myself there too. |
t3_jpco3 | relationship_advice | And then I woke up... Dealing with the hurricane of post-breakup life with a Highly Destructive Ex-Gf. | I want to start this post by saying thank you r/Relationship_Advice. I've posted a couple times on here on throw aways and have been taking to heart a lot of the comments on posts made over the past year.
I finally 'Ripped-Off-The-Bandaid' a month ago today, and ended my near 3 year long relationship with a highly abusive, (verbally, emotionally, sexually), girlfriend. It's been a month of dozens of threats, tantrums, abuse thrown my way via email, text, and voicemails. But last night I wasn't paying attention to who was calling me (she called on a blocked number) and picked up my phone half-asleep at 3:30am to find her calling me, screaming as loudly as she could to tell me how 'happy' she was. But instead of getting beat up by this, I took a deep breath, I hung up, and went back to sleep.
Today I woke up, and it was like something just snapped. I felt like I had dodged a bullet. My anxiety was gone, my fear of being alone was gone, and I was proud of myself for once. The threats, the hurt, and the pain just vanished. I'm actually excited to start tomorrow now. | r/Relationship_Advice gave me my balls back. And now I'm going to go have fun with them again. thanks. |
t3_1t6da5 | cats | Adopting a timid cat tomorrow, looking for tips when introducing her to my existing timid girl. | Hello everyone, I'm sure there are many of these posts around, but just to give everyone a chance to share their knowledge and stories again, I'm looking for some tips, tricks, and tales of introducing timid cats to each other.
My girl, Louhi, came to me as a kitten 5 years ago. She's a very social cat with me, following me around the apartment, waiting for me at the door when I get home, always on my lap or next to me when I'm sitting down. But she's very shy around visitors, runs to hide when she hears the doorbell and doesn't come out until the visitors are gone. Some people she will grace with her presence, but few. Especially not the ones that really want it!
I've wanted for a long time to get a friend for Louhi, so I got the OK from the flatmate yesterday and today went to the shelter to see who would capture my heart. Introducing Mia. She's one of seven, and described as timid. When I went into the pen shared by her and her brothers, her brothers were all out cuddling on a pedestal and Mia was alone on the floor, sheltering inside a box. When I bent to look in at her, she backed up and if I put my hand closer, she would just try to back further away.
I share a very quiet, relaxed house with my flatmate, with no visitors coming or going, so I think it's a good environment to give a timid cat a chance to enjoy a peaceful life. I have the means here to totally separate the cat's living spaces, so they can just sniff each other under the door until they get used to each other. I've done some reading about introducing cats and am prepared to put as much time as needed into it, taking it as slow as each of them need, but am looking for any tips from all of you out there!
[louhi and mia]( | I have a timid, 5-year old female cat and tomorrow I am bringing home a timid, adult female from the shelter. Am looking for tips on introducing these two shy ladies to each other. |
t3_4ffcyy | relationships | Me [29 M] have been dating a coworker [27F]. Is she just playing with me? | I met this amazing girl at work. We have gone out in some dates, and everything went just great. We always have lunch together, and we always hang out after work. Just her and me. It's all awesome. We go for beers, a cup of coffee, a movie, etc. It's all fun and good.
Today I told her I would like to see her a lot more, like in the weekends or holidays, but she told me she is busy during the weekends, and she won't be able to see me. We text continiously, but on the weekends she just texts me one or two messages, as oppossed to the 20 or 30 she sends when during work days and work nights even if we see each other during the day. I know for a fact she goes to her close friends' house every saturday, since they live quite close to her home, and have drinks, so I guess she is not that busy.
We live quite far from each other, it's about an hour drive. Is she just playing with me out of boredom? Should I ask her straight away what she wants? Does this mean she does not want anything serious? I do not want to scare her or anything. Thanks for reading | This girl I know likes to spend time with me at work, but not on weekends or holidays. Does this mean she does not want anything serious with me? |
t3_1z5mne | loseit | I just broke a toilet. | I've subbed here for awhile, and you all are doing great work.
I, at my biggest about 4 years ago, was tipping 300 lbs. In my senior year of HS/freshman year of college I put the fork down and got that number down to 215.
Now I'm a senior in college. I started dating a girl over 2 years ago because I finally had confidence from that 85lb drop, but since then I've stopped my running because I figured we're happy together and don't necessarily need to 'try' anymore. I'm back up to 260, which up until tonight I figured was still a loss rather than a gain.
Now I'm studying at my library, I go to take a dump, and I literally *cracked* the goddamn toilet. I'm not a smart man, so I flush the thing and water sprays ALL OVER my shirt and pants.
I'm sitting here typing this with a half-soaked outfit, in underwear that are getting too tight for my thighs, in pants that I had to buy because my old ones don't fit anymore. I'm going to finish studying here in shame.
Please laugh at me, call me tubby, do your worst. The bullshit ends tonight, and I promise this community that the running starts again tomorrow. For anyone else reading this at square one like me, just know that you're not alone. I wanted to post here just to motivate myself a little more. | My ass has gotten so big it broke a toilet and flushing it sprayed me from head to toe with a wakeup call. Gonna literally run that big ass off starting tomorrow morning. |
t3_p5doy | self | The Music Industry; what would you like to see appear? | I'm in the midst of a marketing project for University that HAS to be related to the music Industry. I'm contemplating using an idea that has many Redditors up in arms. Many want to have another viable option than piracy and they want the music and entertainment industry to get on board. If you guys could help devise this viable option how would you want it to work. This includes how you suggest the musicians make money. Take note that this project is in the eyes of grass roots business and therefore corporations such as UM are considered competitors. Also I am not quite sure if this idea is viable according to the professor, so any other product idea that fill a need or want that are currently not available in the music industry would be a great help. Also please upvote the comments that you guys think are good ideas, so i can get a sense of whats popular! | any product that fills a need or want not yet filled in music industry. Also how you guys think an alternative for piracy should be organized. |
t3_1cc97v | self | I am in a relationship with my step-sister. I need some help. | So like the title says, I am in a relationship with my step-sister. It all started around Christmas. She had always been really flirty with me, and unable to stop fantasizing about her I basically told her to put up or shut up. She "put up" and long story short, here we are 4 months later and we are still going at it.
Here is what I need help with though, I am a super jealous asshole, who might have an anger problem (I blow up at the stupidest shit) and cant seem to stop it. What makes it worse is we live together and it can be stressful, knowing what she is doing 24/7. I cant seem to get a break.
We both like each other a lot and despite my episodes we really want to be with each other a lot. I am very worried about summer, the bathing suits, the guy friends, and I don't want to over react to something, be an asshole, and break it off when I know I don't want to. It would be such a bad thing if I were to overreact and do something to compromise our relationship, and the secrecy of it. | I am in a relationship with my step sister. We live in the same house and keep our relationship just to ourselves. That only intensifies my existing jealousy and anger issues. |
t3_fzyjk | AskReddit | Reddit, I need help with the business portion of making my self employed dream happen. | Fellow Redditors, here is the skivvy. I've been working as a technical consultant for 4 years now and a project just fell into my lap that could possibly be the jumping point for me starting my own company. This has nothing to do with the company I currently work for so no worries about a non-compete agreement. Here's what is going on:
**Scenario:** The owner of the company my brother works for wants to switch away from their current database program to Quickbooks. So far the cheapest bid he has seen for the project has been $26k. When my brother told the owner my friend and I can do this project, he became incredibly excited and said he would love to have a meeting with us so we can audit the setup and bid on the project.
**What I have in mind:** Taking away all the technical aspects of the project, I want this to be completely legal. He will take care of purchasing required equipment. I will be developing the project plan. I want to present him with the audit, project plan, time table, support agreement and bid.
**Where I need help:** I have no IDEA the business implications of this. Can we have a legal, binding agreement between individuals or do I need to get paper work/business license/etc? Do I just need to get all the signed paperwork notorized before it becomes a legal binding agreement? After the work is complete, what do I need to do for taxes on the money paid out for labor and all that? Will I need a different contract for the project itself and the support agreement?
It has always been my dream to be my own boss with my own clients and I think this could potentially be a huge step towards that goal. If any Redditors out there have started their own business or have been in this situation before, advice would be most appreciated. | Dollar dollar bill y'all project could be heading my way and I need legal/business help in making myself and the project legit. |
t3_33qf7p | relationships | Husband won't look for a job on his own and I don't know what to do (we're 24, been together 5 yrs). | He needs to find a new job. He has one but won't for much longer.
I work full time and take care of food, housework, and our 2 kids in the evening almost entirely myself (that's for another rant) so I don't have the time or desire to do all his job hunting too while he plays video games all night. He's known since last fall that this company wasn't going to last. He was warned a month ago that it would be bankrupt by June. His office mates were let go today. I asked if he had even applied to any jobs. He said he was going to apply to one today...one that I sent him last week because I came across it by accident. UGHHH.
I don't know if it's my duty to do this for him in order to keep our family financially afloat. I don't know if I need to let him figure it out on his own with the consequence being he becomes a stay-at-home-dad and we have to budget super hard. I am SO tired of pushing him and arguing about it. When the topic comes up now, I walk away, otherwise i'm repeating myself to a brick wall. | Husband won't find a new job by himself, it's stressing me out, and I don't know what I should do. |
t3_3bfsqm | relationships | My (20F) sister (17F) throws tantrums that are affecting my relationship with our mother (40sF) | My mother and sister recently came to visit my university for an open day. I'm currently on a placement year for my degree, but made arrangements to meet them for lunch. I offered to take them on a tour of the campus, but my sister wanted to go around by herself - which I was happy to agree with.
However, once I met up with them my sister threw a tantrum (and I mean screaming/crying) because I was ruining her day, even though we had kept to the original plan. My sister wanted to stay longer at the university (fine) but I couldn't be there, demanding that I travelled an hour home and then an hour back when she was 'ready'. When I refused, she then ran off and basically got lost in the city, refusing to answer her phone. This meant that me and my mother had to abandon our plans and try and find her.
This is not unusual behaviour and tbh I'm fed up of it. I told my mother that if this was her reaction, that I would leave and let my sister calm down. My mother's response to this was that we were ruining her day out; and she basically blamed me for my poor relationship with my sister because I'm older and should know better. I have bent over backwards to accommodate my sister and I'm sick to death of being blamed for her behaviour because I'm a convenient target who ends up apologising.
My sister eventually returned, but wouldn't allow us to do anything as a family after this point. I'd not seen my mother for 2 months prior to this incident, and am unlikely to see her again until September. I've told my mother that if my sister can't apologise or change her behaviour then I no longer want to be in contact with her until she can, basically, grow up. | My sister acts unbelievable childishly to get her own way and control situations, particularly to limit my contact with my mother. Going 'no contact' with my sister will deteriorate my relationship with my mother. |
t3_10kc55 | jobs | I have a job offer dilemma, was hoping someone could help? | Hi, So I have received a job offer from a company I did an internship for yesterday and they want me to start as soon as possible so they are asking me to decide if I want the role sometime today or tomorrow. It's a great company, great position it is just that it is a contract role and depending on how I do here I can get a full time role later on. I'm familiar with the company and think I can do a great job here.
HOWEVER, I also applied to a different company. The problem is I THINK I'll get an interview but there is no guarantee. I went to a recruitment session and I had a great time there, I think I absolutely impressed many of the important people there. My friend who I applied to the same role, got rejected already and I have not heard back. My guess is that because the application deadline for this job is September 29, they are going to wait until they have all the applications before deciding when to interview everyone. While I am confident (but not sure) I will get an interview, there is no guarantee at all I will get the job. The job is very similar, except it is a full time role and is in the downtown area of my city a place in which I'd love to live one day. It really is the ideal role (my next ideal role would be a full time offer from the company I got the offer from).
What should I do Reddit, and how should I proceed? | Have one job offer on the table that needs to be responded to by today; and waiting to even just interview(not even sure if I'll get that) for another role I REALLY want. What do I do? |
t3_3o8bil | relationships | Me [32F] with friend [34M] few weeks duration, lashes out and won't give me a chance because I remind him of his ex/first love | I met this person online and found him interesting. He was soon calling daily and we would have long conversations. 4 days in, he lashed out at me and decided to "test my trust" by asking a seemingly innocuous question I did not want to answer. I am a very private person and because a recent trauma are even slower to want to open up. When I do get around to sharing something with him, he simply shuts me down stating he is not interested. He says he wants to be friends but keep his distance because I have qualities of his ex and remind him of his ex/first love which gives him PTSD. His first love/ex cheated on him. I'm willing to be friends but when I tried to share something that deeply affected me, he shut me down saying he didn't want to hear it because it would change how he viewed me and change the "relationship". I don't know if I'm over reacting in feeling incredibly hurt. He says I take abuse well and is constantly putting me down by saying things like if I'm already emotionally invested, I must have a low emotional IQ, that I'm not as good looking as him, that I'm stupid etc, etc. I'm not sure if that stems from his anger at his ex or he's simply an unkind person. | Should I stop speaking to this person because of his lashing out at me over the fact I have qualities of his first love/ex? |
t3_4qvi7j | relationships | Me [25 M] with my wife [23F] of 5 years, wants to experiment an open relationship | First time ever posting. My wife and I are the only ones we ever have been with but are very happy, no fights,always enjoying our company, and have never had a problem. though recently she has been admitting our bedroom isnt as exciting as it used to be and her libido is taking a dive.
one day though she admits that she wants to try a open relationship due to her curiosity of being with other people both male and female to find herself out sexually, but i just cant bring myself to do it and have talked to her about it, but in the end it seems like it's down to either me learning to live with it and try it myself, her not doing it and her saying she'd feel very shut in if she cant explore herself, or possibly ending it all which i do not want to happen as i love her more than anything.
my last resort is reading up stuff(not very good results for most relationships) and coming here to you guys, i just cant seem to find a way that doesnt just ruin it for someone or both of us. | wife takes a dive in libido and wants to try a open relationship to find herself out sexually, i can't fully support it and it hurts, but i dont want this to ruin us. help? |
t3_1x7zlp | relationships | Me(17) and my boyfriend(17) for over a year's relationship is becoming greatly damaged from my anxiety of opening up | Me(17f) and my boyfriend of over a year(17m) have a great relationship other than the fact I can't open up. For as long as I can remember I've had severe anxiety and slight depression, usually in situations of vulnerability. and something I've never been able to do is speak my mind or talk about my feelings.
My current boyfriend is the first person to have a problem with this. Mainly because he worries about me and when I get upset about something I just ignore him, for hours at time sometimes the rest of the day/night until I sleep it off or just suppress my upsettness until it comes again. But him not knowing what's going on causes him to get anxious and this happens sort of frequently.
I do try to open up but only when he makes me, and I'll end up freezing up, even if I want to I can't force the words out of my mouth and then I'll cry out if embarrassment and frustration that I don't have control out of my own body. I'll get anxious my heart will race out of control and then Ill have breathing problems. But once I do talk to him I do feel better. but what I go through I don't feel is worth it.
But now it's becoming a deal breaker and may very well end our relationship, and I really don't want that. We both have severe anxiety and can make the others go away usually. I also have fear of change so losing him would set my anxiety and depression to a peak.
Can a relationship work with out being open? If not how do you over come it with out going through hell? Or should I just leave the relationship until I can handle it? (Definitely not the ideal way but I've thought about it) | My anxiety makes it nearly impossible to open up and is becoming a deal breaker for my boyfriend. What do I do? |
t3_1mnwub | relationships | I[23f] stumbled upon a bunch of pictures on the computer of my boyfriend[23m] and his ex girlfriend making out | My boyfriend[23m] and I[23f] have been dating for a little over 2 years. We have lived with each other for about a year. We have close to 0 issues. We plan on getting engaged next year.
Okay. Here is what I know. I KNOW this is dumb. I know he doesn't have feelings for her. I know that these pictures are completely irrelevant. I am fully aware he has been in love and in a relationship before me and I am happy for that because I love who he has become from that experience. I know that after time I will be over it. But the images just keep flashing in my mind and I want them to go away!
I have been using his laptop for a month or so since mine died. He of course offered and has no problems with this. We are crazy close to one another and we don't hide anything from each other. I have always been very respectful of his privacy and never lurked through his stuff. He is pretty technologically challenged and has had the computer since 2008 and doesn't really use it.
Yesterday I tried to save a picture to his pictures folder and to my surprise there were actually pictures in it. Very old ones, but I was still surprised. Where the picture saved was next to a plethora of photos of his ex gf. They dated for three years and he broke up with her ~1 year before we started dating. I looked at 4 pictures. One of her in a bikini that she obviously sent him. And 3 of them laying in bed making out. And when I did I kept telling myself I was an idiot and I didn't need to do this. And then I wanted to die because I saw the pictures and then I wanted to kick myself because it was my choice.
It's MY fault and I don't want to feel sorry for myself. Does anyone have any solid advice for how to work through getting these images out of my head? | Stumbled upon pics of boyfriend and his ex gf making out. I want to figure out how to get the images out of my head. |
t3_muit7 | AskReddit | Hi Reddit, I have no idea what I want to be in life anymore...what am I suppose to do when I don't know what to do? | I lived abroad for 9 years...went to highschool then graduated with a degree in Biology...I then moved to America with the hopes of getting a lab job... but that didn't happen...I realized later on after working my first job in retail -_- that I didn't want such a repetitive job.. I want to do something worthwhile..(like everyone else of course)...I thought of becoming a paramedic, but I don't think I can handle death/dying/pressure on daily basis... so now I'm just lost... ever since I moved to america life has been so dull...lost all my friends and life here just seems like an endless cycle of working then spending then working... | years of knowing what I wanted to be, now totally lost and confused.. how am I suppose to find my calling? how did you find your calling? |
t3_290qrz | relationships | Help me I'm going Crazy | Reddit I'm scared. I'm scared I'm going to be forever alone. I feel like, I need someone to make me complete, and I know that's not right. I was with my ex for 7 ½ years, we were engaged, everything seems to be going great until last winter and something happened. He called off the engagement this spring but claimed he hasn't give up on us.
I just found out this last weekend he was cheating on me earlier this spring prior to calling off the engagement. I feel so empty, lost, lonely, mad, angry, sad, devastated. The relationship is done; I can't recover from what and how it happened. I can't sleep, I can't concentrate at work, and I had a break down today at my desk hyperventilating hysterically today. I'm so embarrassed.
I gave him everything I had, my entire soul. I don't think I'm unfortunate looking, I think I'm pretty average. I don't think I'm a horrible person. I have super low self-esteem and confidence. I'm an ex-fatty so my body will never be perfect. All my friends are engaged or married. I'm turning thirty this year and I'm feeling the pressure. I want a family and I might never have one. When I was younger I never thought I would get married, mainly because I never felt like anybody would want to marry me. I've lost contact with all my friends and I don't have very good social skills.
My thoughts are all jumbled. He was my first love, my first lover, my first everything. I felt like I was living this fairytale life, everything seemed perfect. I never thought someone like him would love someone like me. I've been seeing a psychologist, but I can't get in to talk to her about my recent discovery until next week Monday. I NEED HELP! Is this normal? I called the doctor today to see if there was anything over the counter or that they could prescribe for me to help numb the pain. And the nurse could only recommend Benadryl for a sleep aid. | Broke up with boyfriend of 7 1/2 years. Found out there was some infidelity. Now I can't function. |
t3_2xl1u4 | relationships | I [23/m] need to get over my friend [22/f] | I'm in love with my best friend, I know she'll never see me as more than a friend. I get clingy and possessive and insecure, I always think she's ignoring me and someone else is getting the attention. It's caused a lot of fights in the past.
Recently I found out she's in love with her best friend, I'm not sure who it is, it's left me confused that it could be me, that she refuses to talk about it and has said "It's out there now and we both know it" when I told her I found out. But I just can't ever imagine that it could be, she's not attracted to me, I cause arguments and I'm too clingy.
I want to get over her, I don't want to lose her as my best friend, but I don't want to feel this way if she doesn't feel the same, and I want to stop being clingy all together.
I need some advice, how do I help myself progress through this and feel better about myself and just be a better friend to her? | I'm in love with my best friend, she doesn't love me, how do I get over it without losing her as a friend. |
t3_51k9iz | relationships | Is it a Pickup-Artist technique for a guy (23/M) to drink another guy's beer (23/M) deliberately? | Asking for a guy friend. I myself am 33/f. I've had to deal with enough Pickup Artists that I usually recognize their techniques very fast.
They are not very creative because they all read the same books, blogs, and forums, in order to get ideas. So many times if a guy says something weird to me on a dating site, I can put that EXACT phrase into Google and find the forum he got it from. And they don't just share the same opening lines and negs. Sometimes they use whole STORIES from these sites.
Anyway this incident happened to my guy friend recently. And for some reason it sounded like the sort of weirdo thing a Pickup Artist would do. But I have never heard of it before as a technique but I was wondering if someone else had.
My friend was playing pool with an attractive girl he met recently. They decided to play against two random guys who happened to be there.
The girl was attractive and my friend is also on the more attractive side for a guy (and he's extremely likable with really good social skills).
At some point, he realized that one of the guys they were playing against was drinking his beer. There was no mix-up - that guy didn't have a beer of his own at all.
My friend said "Hey just so you know, that's my beer man."
The guy looked at him, picked the beer up again, and drank more of it.
My friend did not know what to make of this, and just decided to ignore it.
What do you think? Weird PUA attempted dominance move? Or just an odd person? | Is it a Pickup-Artist technique for a guy (23/M) to drink another guy's beer (23/M) deliberately? |
t3_3yb4pq | relationships | Do I [22f] owe my ex [30m] the money he gave me? | We broke up recently and now he's asking for the money he gave me back. There's no contract or any paper signed saying that I have to pay him back. In fact, when he transferred the money over to me, he wrote loving messages. There were two transactions. One says "your hubby loves you" and another says "money for my love".
Now he's saying he's taking me to small claims court to get that money back. He said he's confident because there's "paperwork" about the transaction happening in the form of bank statements. There was no talk whatsoever of having to pay him back. I always considered it a gift of money from him, especially with those messages. | After break up, ex wants me to repay him the money he out of the blue gave me. There was no loan agreement or anything like that. |
t3_2avf8c | personalfinance | School. Subsidized, Unsubsidized, and Parent PLUS | I am trying to go to trade school. The trade school I would like to attend is in fact accredited and I have recieved my award letter for Government Stafford loans, but honestly this stuff is really confusing. So here are my basic questions:
-What is an origination fee? My loan, my unsubsidized loan's origination fee is 1.072%
-What is subsidized vs. unsubsidized?
-Parent PLUS loan, what the hell? 7% interest rate? 4.6% origination fee?
-Lastly, if my parents don't qualify, I am eligible for another unsubsidized stafford loan, which will basically totally cover my school expenses.
The trade school in total is only 6 months long, and costs a total of $12,250. My parents who make I believe somewhere together around maybe $150k (saw this in FASFA so reliable) have money, but they were also denied to be cosigners with my brother when he bought his car because there debt load is too high, so would they qualify or pass the credit check or is this unrelated? I would prefer if I could just get the loans in my name, I don't want them to deal with it. | I am a child with well off parents and I am trying to go to trade school, the fuck is origination about |
t3_373cji | relationships | I'm[19F] seeing a guy[21M] that has depression, doesn't want a relationship until it's under control | I've known this guy for 7 years, but we were acquaintances at best until we met up on campus 6 month ago and hit it off. We are basically a couple, but without the title. With finals over we are long-ish distance, about an hour apart, and both work, so I see him about once a week or so and we usually sleepover at each other's places.
Anyways, when I asked him about relationships, he said he wanted to get his depression/panic disorder under control, which I understand. But it's been 6 months and he hasn't made much effort. I told him he should try to get medication since his other one have him awful side effects, but he hasn't done so yet, although he said he wants to get better for me and he'll do it so we can be happy. I'm transferring schools and am worried even when the summer ends he won't be ready, and we'd have been seeing each other 10 months by that time.
He has also made comments saying how when he gets in a relationship it's for the long run (years or until marriage). He says he wants to give me something as good as he can when he gets better and that's why he wants to wait for a relationship, and that not being in a relationship means Hea not dragging me down and would let me leave if I want. I can tell he loves me. He tells me all the time and treats me amazing when we are together, but I don't feel 100% comfortable with the situation. I know he has depression, but even during the school year he was always out for hours on end with friends and having a good time.
I guess I'd just like to know what someone would do in this situation. I love him and want to be there for him, but I don't know how long I can wait, especially if I'm leaving (but not far away). Should I wait through the summer and see how things go or if they will change? The last time I had a relationship conversation was a month or so ago anyways. | guy I'm seeing wants to wait until his depression is better before a relationship, I don't know how much longer to wait |
t3_24a66f | relationship_advice | My girlfriend[24/f] got drunk last night and all of a sudden after 5 months of dating got really mean, but only to me. [29/m] Not sure how to react? | I've been dating a girl for the last 5 months and it's been pretty great. We've hit a couple bumps but been pretty good about dealing with stuff but last night caught me off guard.
When we're out in groups and she drinks she usually gets a little distant and wants to go focus on her friends, which is totally fine, but last night we went to her work party and her co-worker blacked out.
Apparently this happens every time there's a work party and everyone in the office gets a turn to babysit, this time it was my girlfriends. I offered to help since I drove and am pretty good with dealing with drunk people. A few seconds later the co-worked barfed in my hand. I carried her to my car and then my girlfriend and I took an hour to get her home because she was giving us bad address information.
During all of this my girlfriend is saying how awesome I am for helping and how all her co-workers think I'm awesome...etc. We get back to the bar and the girlfriend keeps drinking and without blacking out, gets super drunk and fun but whenever she talked to me, she was mean condescending and seemingly angry I was there. She'd then get mad at herself for being mean to me, but then kept up with the surly behavior. At one point leaning in to her co-workers and announcing how annoying I am. Everyone kind of laughed it off but later I asked her and she said "You're making that up. I wouldn't say that." ...Needless to say I'm a little confused now. | Girlfriend got drunk and became a jerk to me and only me. Throws me off because I had just done a set of very nice things for her. She's usually really nice and sweet and appreciative. |
t3_4tmdc7 | relationships | Me [15 M] with my friend [15 F], kind of got complicated... | So all of my sudden my friend (who is really attractive) has been getting really close, hugging me and finding ways to touch me, etc. etc. But she hasn't got a very good track record with relationships, most importantly loyalty to them, and she's been on it with lots of guys.
Today I walked into my lesson (in which she sits in front) and when I sat down she was talking to her friend and said out loud "I would definitely #### (Anthony)". She said this confidently and wasn't bothered at all that I was right next to her, so obviously I'm thinking that this is a strong signal right?
Well for any other girl yes, but for her... I'm not so sure. She's really up front when it comes to sexual relationships and she's completely open, and I know that she's flirty with everyone, but not in a serious way. She's been saying how good looking I am for a while now, etc. etc.
Yet although this all may suggest an obvious interest in me too, I'm not sure if she wants a serious relationship or not. She's had lots of guys (not saying that's putting me off, I've had a lot of relationships) and this kind of makes me sceptical of whether or not I should bother with this. | friend getting flirty, states that she'd want to have sex with me, don't know if she's serious or not since she's flirty with a lot of people |
t3_1ep54a | relationships | if a woman [28] spend months talking to a guy [27] then suddenly stop, why? | So I met this girl on reddit, and we started chatting almost everyday. We met once at Starbucks and had coffee. We read the same book and share our thoughts on it. We kept texting each other to have a social outlet other than work.
Then we met again, and I went to her home and we chatted for an evening. I got her a book for Christmas, but afterwords the conversation had started to die. I sent her the book to rid of it along with a cool sketch, she said it was very touching and thank you. After that the next time I was in town I tried to hangout, but she was busy, so I just gave up, and we stopped talking.
As I really liked this girl [I probably didn't (know how) to show it thought] I just want to know what I did wrong so that I don't screw up the next time. | 27 year old virgin/never had a girlfriend spent months texting a girl and met her a few times, then nothing. How'd I fuck this up? |
t3_1fhjvs | relationship_advice | [18/M + 17/F] Do I continue a relationship with a friend I cannot trust? (X-post r/advice) | I have a good friend of similar age to me. We generally get along great, but recently I've been having doubts about our friendship. In the past, we have gone out with each other and during that time she cheated on me... with three different guys. Obviously I broke up with her, but we did remain good friends.
When we first started dating, she had told me that she'd been raped by an ex, but I asked her recently about it and she told me that she had lied to me about it, for a reason she doesn't know.
Recently, I started hearing rumours that she had started taking drugs, although mostly just weed mostly and bit of this and that. Her farther is a drug dealer, so she has easy access to any drug she could want. She's only 17, I've looked after her for most of her life and I'm worried that she's going to end up getting into crime or developing an addiction to a hard drug. She says she cares about me, loves me and would do anything for me, so I asked her to stop otherwise I'd move away and break contact with her. She said she would stop and begged me to stay, however I still have the feeling she won't. She has ADHD, so she is impulsive and often acts before she thinks. This, in additon to her previous actions means that it's hard for me to trust her and believe what she says. Currently, I'm not in the same country as her and won't for a few more months, so it's impossible for me to keep a good eye on her.
Basically, do I continue with our friendship, or tell her to screw it? | My friend who cheated and lied about being raped, has started taking drugs. I don't trust her and don't want to get hurt again. |
t3_t6i94 | AskReddit | AskReddit, I have the opportunity to meet 1 on 1 with a priest and talk about faith. | putting the molestation jokes aside for a moment
I went to a retreat this past weekend for my confirmation and participated in reconciliation. Because of Redit, I now consider myself an atheist, but I decided to talk to the priest and see what he had to say about faith and the church.
I explained to him that I probably sin in the tens to twenties every day but I don't consider myself a bad person. I brought up many different points; one being about how the people who are sopposed to be setting the example for us, the ordained ministers, are out touching little boys. Every point he came back with was very enlightening. After listening to his rebuttals I realized just how unresolved this topic is to me after all.
We were getting very into the conversation and I even began crying at one point (no idea why) but just as I was really starting to let loose all of my questions, time ran up and he had to go lead a mass.
He gave me his business card and told me that even he asks himself these same questions from time to time, but never had anyone to talk to about them. He said that he believed that God brought me to him so that he could get all of it off of his chest too. He seemed to have really enjoyed the conversation and pleaded that I met with him over a burger some time to continue the conversation.
SO AskReddit, should I take him up on his offer and meet with him again? if so, what questions should I ask? anything you've ever wanted to ask a priest face to face?
keep in mind this topic was about faith and belief, not "the bible says this, and the bible says that" stuff.
please! I *need* advice! | have an opportunity to talk with a priest and get off my chest all of the questions I've had. should i do it? |
t3_dp8al | AskReddit | Reddit, what are you supposed to do when your ex is becoming self destructive? | I recently broke up with my boyfriend of a little less than three months because of distance issues. He and i did not have a strong base for our relationship because the day after we started going out, I went away for 3 weeks. I come back for 11 days and leave for college. He lives 6 hours away. I would only be able to see him on average 15 days per semester and not during breaks.
I was in love with him at one point but that feeling disappeared slowly as college life progressed. He loved me too but I feel it was more of an obsession and infatuation more and more. Our conversations began to only be about that we loved each other, but not why.
So I decided to break up with him (but do the "nice" thing and tell him I wanted to be friends, which was/is true).
He did not take this well. At all.
It's been two weeks and he has barely eaten. He has lost 19 pounds (he is around 6'2" and was already 145 pounds...).
I have been speaking to him but I have had it and told him he is not my responsibility anymore and that he needs to see a doctor or a nutritionist in order to get his weight back on track and that until he is healthy, I cannot/should not speak to him or contact him in any way (let alone see him, which he is begging me to let him do).
His friends have been harassing me and are telling me I need to get back together with him or else he will not get better but I do not want to be unhappy again.
Reddit, am I doing the right thing by cutting off all ties until he is healthy, or should I be taking a more active approach into making sure he doesn't get truly sick? I care about him but I need to concentrate on my studies and stresses more. I don't exactly know how to not give a f**k but I'm trying. Does this make me a bad person? | My obsessive ex is starving himself I live 300 miles away and have decided to finally not do anything and concentrate on my studies. Is this the right thing to do? |
t3_2xv9fr | relationships | Me [24M] was told by my [22F] that she went and did a show on a cam site. | So my girlfriend of about two years went on a camsite and then told me that she did, I'm guessing out of guilt. I'm not even sure how to feel.
There are several gripes I have with it, 1.) she did it for the thrill of it not the money involved 2.) She chose beg for forgiveness rather than asking for permission (which if she had, this would be a whole nother story). 3.) If she behaved on a thrill unsure of how I felt about it who knows what else she will do on a "thrill".
I really care about her and clicked very well with her. Now i don't know how to feel or that maybe it was bullshit. Why would she even want to do it? Excitement? | Went on a camsite and then apologized out of guilt. Not sure if this is equivalent to cheating or if im over reacting. |
t3_2hayoe | relationships | Me [27F] with my boyfriend [29M] of nearly 3 years, going to a swinger's ball next week but he bought me lingerie I hate. How to proceed? | I love my partner very much, and we have a wonderful relationship. I have many insecurities about my body that he has helped me feel better about and he supports me in all of my weird routines, diets and gym workouts. I'm happy and healthy with him.
We are planning on going to a swinger's ball next week (just to watch!) because it sounds sexy and exciting. If we like it I'm open to exploring a few things (but not much). I have been looking forward to it.
When we decided to go last week I began investigating new lingerie I could wear (strict lingerie only dress code) and found several outfits that would flatter my body and make me feel sexy, I showed them to my boyfriend and he seemed really happy. Then the next day he tells me not to order as he has purchased something for me. It arrives in the mail and I hate it.
I hate the colour, there's no support for my boobs, it makes them look small, it hides my tiny waist and exposes my fatty fleshy flabby hips that I hate.
It looks nothing like what I showed him, I don't feel confident or sexy and he's so proud of himself for choosing it I don't know how to tell him I would feel miserable and fat if I wore it. I am angry get he took away my opptunity to choose something that would have made me happy, especially considering this is such a new and confronting experience for me.
Even if I did fess up and tell him I dont like it, we don't have enough money to purchase something else until after its over.
I'm having my wisdom teeth out tomorrow in hospital, which I'm completely freaking out about anyway, and I'm considering just hamming it up and pretending I'm still in pain next week so I don't have to go.
I don't want to wear it, don't want to hurt his feelings.... Help me. | boyfriend bought me lingerie to wear out that makes me look like a sausage tied up with white bows. He's really proud of buying it and I want to curl up in a ball hide. |
t3_3a98ff | relationships | 27/m with 26/f for 3 months - I don't feel the chemistry but there's nothing wrong with her either... | Have you ever been in a relationship where you just don't feel a strong attraction to someone even though you think they're a great person?
I've never wanted a relationship to work more than this one because I think we would have a chance at a great life together, but I just emotionally can't "get there" to be really super attracted to her like I was with my ex. It is really frustrating because this girl is really a total package--smart, adventurous, good job, high sex drive, really fit, tons of the same interests.
If I'm being brutally honest, it's like it's a combination of being not quite as good looking as my ex in the face, and not as outgoing. I fell for my ex almost immediately and I guess that's what I'm comparing this relationship to. Somehow all of the other things my gf has going for her can't overcome those two things. I keep wanting it to happen, but it hasn't yet. I wonder if I should hang on or let her go. I know she feels a lot more for me and I am starting to feel really guilty about letting things continue as they are. | Don't feel the "butterflies" with my gf and wondering if it's time to let her go, or give it more time. |
t3_1yv0gk | relationship_advice | (16/m) Don't Know What To Do; My Ex [18/f] Stays On My Mind | OK. So I went out with this girl for about 2 months, and she is a senior and I'm a sophomore. We both said that we liked each other a lot and really fast, and that we wished we had started dating sooner. She had a lot more stress on her mind, and couldn't go out as much as we wanted to. She ended up breaking it off b/c of some trust issues and external pressure. I was sad, but quickly got over it b/c it was so short.
About 2 weeks later, after not talking at all, she calls me and says that she was sorry about us, and that she still wanted me to be in her life. We reasoned at the time it was better to be friends. We were just friends for a while, but then we both started to flirt a lot, and then she completely drew away: total cold shoulder. Since then we've warmed up but are barely talking. I can't stop thinking about her, and I think she still likes me. What do I do? | Old gf and I briefly dated and really liked each other. We broke up, it got close again, and then it stopped. I still really like her. Help! |
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