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t3_isrr4 | AskReddit | How should I feel about this? | I broke up with my long-term girlfriend, let's call her Susan, about 2 months ago, and we haven't talked since. I e-mailed her recently to get some closure/wanted to reconnect our previous friendship, since we were close friends in the year before I asked her out.
This was her response e-mail.
"I haven't been responding to your messages because I needed the time and space. Out of respect for you and our prior relationship, there's something I have to say. I want you to know that this happened after we broke up, that this wasn't planned and I had no idea this would happen. John and I are in a relationship. I understand if you don't want to be friends or even on speaking terms."
John is a mutual friend, and was my neighbour last year. I was paranoid that Susan was cheating on me with John in the final month before we broke up. I was beating myself up about the break-up, but since that e-mail I remembered why I asked Susan out in the first place. I was bored and needed a girl who was willing to fuck and ready to cook me stuff. So I'm just curious. Should I really be surprised about the result of Susan and my relationship? | Was paranoid, ex got into a relationship with friend that I was suspicious she was cheating on me with. Paranoia now over since insecurity unfounded. Realized how shallow a bastard I am. Ok realization? |
t3_3ieycq | legaladvice | My friend's boss has sexually explicit photos of her from when she was 17 and older. | Hey Reddit I made this account because I genuinely need help.
I recently just found out something that's caused someone I care about lot of pain. My friend posted some sexually explicit pictures of herself online about three years ago, some when she was seventeen and some after. I understand this isn't her most proud decision but she was really going through a lot and people sometimes make bad decisions when they're hurting, especially when they're so young. Subsequently her school found out about the pictures and it haunted her throughout high school. The reason I'm bringing this to reddit though, is that three years after, the pictures continue to resurface and has even followed her to her waitress job. Even her boss knows about the pictures and joins some of the other employees in giving her occasionally a hard time. The reason she stays at the job is because the pictures have become almost part of her identity at this point and choosing to blow it off is her way of coping. No one should have to be in that work environment though so I wanted to know what she could do legally to prevent or take action against work place harassment. She's planning on moving and getting a new start at a new town but it just hurts to see someone bundle themselves up and continue to think this everyday harassment is something normal. | my friend posted pictures as a minor and three years later her boss at her new job and some of her employees have access to the photos and tease her. |
t3_42ukof | personalfinance | credit card approved at 1k limit | Background:
* I'm a recent college grad and recently started a job at 60k as an engineer.
* I had a car accident without health insurance and couldn't pay my medical bill for a year and now have low credit score (transunion 627 (chase freedom rejected me and provided this) and equifax 705 (from credit karma))
* The only credit card I had was Amazon card that I got about 2 years ago.
I've been looking to increase my credit lately so I decided to get a credit card. Chase freedom rejected me, so I went with Capital one platinum (had multiple mails chasing me telling me I was pre-approved). On the mail, it said I'd get 1.5k but when they ran it through yesterday, they gave me only 1k.
If what I've read through is correct, this is absurdly low. My utilization will be hitting up high percentage even with a small use. I'm thinking of getting another credit card so I can stay at low utilization. I've went over my expense for each month and I'll have about $2k to spend a month excluding monthly occurring bills and rent. What should I do? | I got credit limit at 1k. I want higher limit so I can stay at low utilization. What should I do? |
t3_3vwa7x | relationships | I [M20] have been feeling like I need to cut ties with my friends [M20][M20][M20][M20] of 5+ years | I have been friends with most of those guys for 5+ years some even 10. Here is the back story they've always picked on me for everything, the way I talked, did things, because I'm short. I always found it to be just because we were good buddies and really because they were all like that.
Fast forward to after high school graduation we kept in touch, and have been good friends, but the same pattern keeps on happening I always feel like the odd man out and they always talk shit about me because they know I am not the type to grow some balls. Couple months back I get this change of character (after a hard break up in which I suffered a lot through it) made some changes and started standing up for myself whenever I felt like I was being disrespected. I start seeing a change in attitude from then where they don't want to hang out with me as much and they always make me feel like that last fat guy to get picked when making teams.
Examples:
*one of my friends asked us all to go eat, everyone else said they were busy and I said I was down, he didn't answer, then I asked if we were going and he replied with "my mom made food".
A coworker made a turkey bowl game and like a good friend I invited them to tag along they all came in and we made our team, just so that I could be scrutinized every time I didn't catch the ball and used in the most ridiculous positions when I'm not the strongest to play center.
*This week they cheated to kick me off playoffs and my friend being the commissioner of a fantasy football league said it was cool and defended them over me.
I guess that was the last straw for me as ridiculous as it might sound. They are not bad people so I know that they are mostly acting like that with me by choice. Anyways I started seeing the pattern where I am the least desired friend. I decided to cut them off today and start making new friends after this. Am I wrong or what are your thoughts on it. Thanks in advance | I noticed a pattern with my 10+ years friends that is making me feel like I need to cut ties with all of them. |
t3_24q28u | relationship_advice | [21/m] I think I may be so in love that I'm isolating my friends. | Okay so basically what's happened here is that I've been in a relationship for 4/5 months now. I've had a couple of semi-long relationships around the 1 year mark but this is really different. You must get a lot of that round here but I really mean it. I literally want spend every waking minute of my life with her. She has told me that she's the same. All we want do to is be with each other. We're both studying at a music college in London and we're also in a band together (just the two of us, as a duo of sorts) so we spend a lot of time rehearsing, gigging, recording and writing together.
As awful as it sounds, I wouldn't choose to see any of my friends over her. She's my best friend. We've seen each other every day for the past 5 months or so and it's honestly been the best times I've ever had. I fear I'm isolation my other friends and several of them have expressed a great deal of anger about this.
I know I should make time for my friends but I was once told to never feel guilty about doing what you want in your 20s. | 21 years old, in relationship, extremely in love, also in band with girlfriend, all I wanna do is spend time with her and not anybody else: is that wrong? |
t3_zjbjb | AskReddit | Anyone hear of sleep eating? | So I live with a girl here in Ontario while i'm away for school. She has said she sleep eats, that is, she sleep walks and eats and has no recollection of it in the morning. The only thing she eats when does this is peanut butter, thing is thats the only time she eats it, she doesn't touch it during the day.
I took it with a grain of salt until one day in our old apartment she apologized and I never knew what for until I saw an empty jar of peanut butter.
My girlfriend came to visit me and to defend her thesis. We bought groceries, peanut butter included. Anyways one morning we couldn't find it, it completely dissapeared.. then I remembered my sleepeating roommate. Anyways i bought 2 jars of PB and hid them in my room right next to my bed.
This morning I woke up and one was gone... i was like WTF?! So i just went into my roommates room to put a receipt on her bed and boom, a jar of peanut butter with a spoon in it.
Which means she came into my room while me and my girlfriend were sleeping and bent down within inches of my face and took the peanut butter and went back to her own room... in her sleep... freaky as shit. | Roommate sleep eats... found hidden PB in my room, came in during the middle of the night while GF and i were sleeping, took it, ate it. |
t3_4ugqn2 | relationships | My [25F] roommate [27M] of 1 year won't stop scaring my dog [4M] even though I have specifically talked to him about it multiple times. | I have a dog who is incredibly shy and anxious. I got him from a shelter just over a year ago and he was previously neglected and possibly abused. He likes me, my boyfriend, and one roommate and that is it. We all live in a house with a fourth roommate: S. S is kind of a dick to the dog (O) and doesn't seem to realize. I have told him that if he wants him to get comfortable around him, he can't stare him directly in the eye for an extended period of time because it seems aggressive. I have also told him not to touch his face and to pet his back instead, since a lot of dogs don't like having their faces touched. I have explained this all nicely to him multiple times and he CONTINUES to do it EVERY SINGLE TIME he sees O and then wonders why O barks at him and growls and doesn't like him. He told me I had to stop babying him or he would always be shy and I'm thinking "Dude, you don't know what you are talking about. You have done zero research on dog behavior. Throwing him into a scary environment with no escape is going to traumatize him more. He has grown to like everybody in the house except you, so maybe you're doing something wrong." I feel like the only way to get it through to him is to get mean about it but at the same time I don't want to create an uncomfortable household environment. Advice? I am at my wit's end. I just want O to not be so scared of people and this roommate is not helping at all. | Roommate keeps staring at my dog intensely and touching his face even though the dog clearly dislikes these things and I have told him repeatedly to stop. |
t3_n2qxd | AskReddit | I'm looking for a certain video I saw a long time ago. It's about these 2 colonies of little dudes that go to war... | So the video is about these 2 colonies, one's red and one's blue, and they go to war (stop : it's not red vs blue, I fucking love Caboose, move along) with each other. They both wear helmets, and so a whole bunch of people die in either army, and then the 2 commanders go to fight, and one knocks of the other ones helmet, and they realize they're the same, and their helmets made them see each other as monsters the whole time. It might have been claymation, it was a few years ago when I saw it.
I want to see it again and use the look for some street art (graffiti/paint). | 2 armies, one red one blue, they fight and then knock off one anothers helmets, revealing they're the same. |
t3_1em9fp | relationships | Can't get over trust issues...any advice? | I (M24) started dating a girl (F22) about four months ago, and things have been going pretty well so far. But I suffer from pretty bad trust issues -- and they are not necessarily specific to this relationship but have come up in previous relationships as well.
The girl I'm with tells me often that she cares about me, is open and honest with me, and gives me no reason to suspect her of infidelity. Single, she enjoyed casual sex more often than I'd consider ideal, but she isn't a cheater.
I just can't fight this uneasy feeling I have being with her. It feels like even though I have absolutely no evidence, my mind just can't let the possibility of her cheating on me rest. As a result I'm not as happy. In a few weeks she's going away (for a summer class) for two months and I'm afraid the long distance will make things even worse.
Does anyone else have these problems? Any advice on trusting your SO? I hate feeling so insecure. Alternatively, anyone out there whose partner had trouble trusting you, even though you weren't hiding anything...any advice? | even though my girlfriend of four months gives me no reason to distrust her, I suffer from trust issues that have come up in previous relationships and want advice |
t3_3v5caw | loseit | Question to the people sitting here about the diet | Hello, I've read the FAQ of /r/loseit and now I have completly no idea from where should I start.
I'm right now 83-84kg (184 lbs, sorry i'm from EU, but I'll do my best to convert metrics) and 186m (6.1 feet), soon 18yo. [Pic front] | [Pic side] | [Both].
[This guy inspired me and I'm looking for similiar results.](
I want to get back to my running every other day (5km a day and more if I will be trained enough again), so that is clear. Also I plan to start doing push ups later on (is it a good way to gain some muscle over whole body?).
But here is the main question - the diet. I never did that and I never tough anything about what I eat.
*Drink:*
- At this moment I drink almost only water, once/twice in a month alcohol and like once in a month Linseed or Carrot Juice when my grandmother will send me 0,3l of it (made by herself).
And my meals are... just random.
*Breakfest (eating twice, once in home, once at school):*
- Cappucino with a bit of sugar and maybe toast (home)
- Sandwiches with ham or pasta (school)
*Dinner:*
Meat (sometimes with batter, sometimes with sauce):
- Pork,
- Chicken,
- Beef
Veggies (lottery on what is on sale in the shop):
- Salads
- Mexican mix
Fillers:
- Potatoes
- Rice
- Noodles (Pasta, idk - i mean like spaghetti, you know c: )
*Supper:*
- Sandwich with ham or pate of chicken
- Some fruits
- Yoghurt
- Milk with cereals
*Between meals:*
- I eat between meals like a yoghurt (~400ml) or 1-2 small cookies or 4 pieces of chocolate, basically what I just want at that moment and what is currently in my fridge or shelf. | I want to lose the fat. Read FAQ. So many diets, idk which to choose and what to do. Idk what's about my habits right now. Please help |
t3_iee12 | AskReddit | I don't like Children's Hospital and I don't know why. | I've been trying to determine why exactly the show isn't funny. It isn't because I don't like the actors. Many of whom are from Party Down, which was a well written and very funny show. The writing isn't always the problem either because I loved Stella, and other David Wain joints. I typically don't like hospital shows, House/Grey's/Scrubs, but this show isn't really that much of one and I do like Darkplace, which is a bit of a hospital spoof show. I just can't figure out what it is about the show that doesn't seem genuine to me. There's just this sneaking suspicion that the joke is on the audience rather than the show being funny. I'm not an alien to meta comedy either, but it doesn't seem like it does meta comedy well. It all kinda comes off as one of those DQ commercials where they attempt to be awesome but come off incredibly lame. Like a corporate sponsored rap concert. Just takes the fun out of comedy when its mechanized. | I don't like Children's Hospital but like other similar types of comedy, and I'm not sure why. Maybe other people have had a similar experience and can help me. |
t3_n5ze6 | AskReddit | Dear Reddit, Am I a dick or was is this girl just crazy? | A few nights ago I had this girl Ive fooled around with once over in my room after a night drinking. We start hooking up going slow for a while but after 40 minutes or so I had her naked. While she is on top of me sucking the very skin of my face off she suddenly stops, gets down, gets dressed and locks herself in my bathroom. For the next 20 minutes she is moaning and crying hysterically, but in a muffled sort of way. She finally comes out and I ask her what is wrong, to which she replies that I am just an asshole because I was trying to hook up with her. So im kinda wtf'ing her because clearly thats what i was trying to do and she was just as on board. So I ask a few more questions and find out that she "wanted me to be different". I then ask her what that means, like did she think we were going to date or what. She then berates me for thinking that she has to be dating to have sex. So I am 100 percent confused, I am drunk 4 am, this girl is hysterical. She asks me if she should go, so I say yea its probably a good idea. She is now pissed that I am trying to "kick her out because she won't fuck" I tell her that its just time for everyone to clear there heads and I am done with this fiasco. She then has a mood swing and is up on me rubbing my arm telling me we should just start the night over. So I tell her we can talk about this later, but not now. She gets pissed again cusses me out full volume and I finally get this girl to leave after I opened the door to my dorm and left it open for 5 minutes trying to coax her out.
The next day I go to a school basketball game, and this girl is a half time dancer. As the dance team is leaving the floor I get glared at by half the girls. | Girl I am hooking up with melts down because she thought I was "different". How should I have handled that when she said it or was I trapped from the get go? |
t3_4jlblr | relationships | I [16M] am now the middleman in a developing relationship between my friend [17F] and the girl I like [17F] | So my friend really likes the same girl I do, and she knows that I like her too. They are starting to get into a relationship together. I am definitely okay with this, and I try to support them while keeping my own feelings out of it as much as possible.
I talk to this friend pretty often about their relationship, partially out of curiosity and partially because I genuinely hope it works out for them. However, sometimes when I'm trying to talk to my friend about things (even unrelated) the girl I like will walk up and join into the conversation--and very intense PDA ensues (hugging from behind, talking about... breasts, etc.). This girl normally does a lot of PDA in her relationships but I feel like they definitely step it up while I'm around. This makes me uncomfortable and I can't help but think they're showing off how happy they are to me.
Recently I messaged my friend on Tumblr and we talked about their relationship and she ended up asking me to ask the girl that I like if she likes her. Essentially, I am in an awkward position because I've been trying not to talk to that girl out of respect for their relationship; I think it would look very suspicious if I approached her out of nowhere to ask her who she likes. | My friend and the girl I have a crush on are getting into a lesbian relationship and I am now in a very weird middleman position. |
t3_2nwig5 | dogs | Puppy only pees when left alone in room | My boyfriend and I rescued a 5 month old puppy, Leela, this past Wednesday. At the AC&C, the adoption coordinator told us that she was already pad trained. The first day we took her home, she had no problem peeing at will on the pads whenever she needed to go. We praised her and gave her treats every time she did it.
However, on Thursday we left her alone in her crate for a few minutes and she pooped and peed in her crate. Since then, she's been peeing almost exclusively when she is nervous, excited, or left alone. We've established that she has separation anxiety, but the biggest issue is that we cannot get her to pee except when she's nervous or excited.
We have tried putting her on a leash and walking her to her pad as soon as she wakes up, right after she eats, etc. but she will absolutely not pee unless someone unfamiliar comes into the room or she is left alone. We have taken her for long walks and she has successfully pooped outside, but no matter how long we stay out, she will not pee.
By boyfriend and I are at a loss. Leela is an amazing puppy and we absolutely love her, however we are scared to go back to work on Monday because we are nervous that she will be drowning in her own pee by the time our friend comes to check on her mid day. | 5 month old puppy only pees when we are not present, refuses to pee outside even when we walk for a while. will hold urine in for a whole day at times. advice? |
t3_1omp6s | relationships | I [29 F] am seeking advice on how to welcome love into my life after a series of tumultuous relationships. | I'm 29 & have been in 4 significant relationships in my adult life. The latter 3 were extremely unhealthy (codependent, abusive, deceitful, & unfaithful). The most recent one had me in shambles, & it was honestly a time in my life I barely recovered from.
Without going into further detail about my past, what I am hoping for is some advice related to finding ways to learn to let my walls down again & welcome healthy forms of love. Or even to just hear stories of people who have gone through similar situations & ended up being in healthy relationships, just to give me some hope & help diminish the idea that I'm broken somehow.
I was in a dark place for such a long time- through that time I have gained an enormous amount of insight into myself & have begun to understand why I repeatedly end up in unhealthy relationships (i.e., issues with my dad, my parents' relationship, self-esteem issues).
I recently met someone so unlike anyone I have ever dated. He feels like a breath of fresh air, & exudes such potential for happiness. But this is a completely unnatural feeling for me. What I'm used to feeling is severe anxiety, anticipation, uncertainty, & fear in relationships (all of which were apparently turn-ons for me).
I'm attracted to this new person both physically & emotionally. However, in the past I was strongly attracted to men who were bad for me- & my sexual attraction to these individuals was far stronger than it has ever been to 'nice guys'. I realize how fucked up that is, & it has taken me 8 years to admit that- I'm just not sure what to do with it. | How do I welcome healthy romantic love into my life after a series of abusive/unfaithful/deceitful/codependent relationships? |
t3_3pq5u3 | tifu | TIFU by drinking coffee | This happened a couple hours ago and I can't stop kicking myself for it.
Let's begin with the fact that I have just arrived at a bookstore to meet up with some people to complete a project. The traffic was bananas, I was late, I needed coffee. I purchase my iced coffee and sat down with my group mates. Now usually I don't drink coffee, it's only on rare occasions that I need a boast of energy, and even then do I find an alternative to coffee.
But not this time.
So as I'm working diligently while trying to contain the inevitable jitters, I spot an old friend (let's call him Al) whom I haven't seen in some time. I flag him down and he walks over with someone else that looks like a tutor. We catch up on the times and exchange information on the spot.
This is where the fuck up happens...
As he is walking away, I remembered a house party that he had invited me to a month ago that I couldn't be at. I instantly (without thought and under the influence of caffeine) shouted, "sorry I couldn't make it to your house party by the way!"
Oh the face on this poor guy looked like he had just heard his death sentence.
The person he was with stopped dead and asked him, "when was this so called house party hm?"
It was his damn dad...
Al caught the worst case of stutters I had ever witnessed. His dad proceeded to whisper something to Al and walked out of the store with Al close behind.
I tried to contact him, but there's no reply now.
Never drinking coffee again... | Drank coffee while trying to work on a project, spotted old friend, mindlessly mentioned a old house party while his dad was with him, trouble is imminent... |
t3_50q6p0 | offmychest | I think I'm falling out of love and I can't tell if I want to or not - Help? | Me and my SO of 3 years have been drifting apart recently - We've both had a lot going on that's meant we haven't spent much time together and when we have he's been so depressed we're very rarely happy. Not only that I've recently made friends with a new guy at work who I'm forever trying to figure out whether I'm interested in him or if I just think he's cute and my type.
On top of this I keep having thoughts and revelations that there are certain things my SO is really into that I used to go along with to keep him happy but I'm noticing recently that I don't enjoy them and I'd much prefer to stop - But they mean so much that I'm not sure if my wanting to stop would make him consider leaving.
I feel like we want different things now but I can never tell if my thoughts and feelings are genuine or as a result of feeling distant and lonely and my subconscious thinking "you don't want him, you want that guy from work", or "he's not into this type of girl, but that's who you've always secretly wanted to be but couldn't find the motivation".
I've talked to him a few times in the past week or two about what's going on with us and we keep deciding that it's rough and we're distant but we love each other. which is true, but are we just not compatible anymore? Am I "growing out" of him / our relationship?
I'd really appreciate any advice or tips | Me and SO have been distant, I can't tell if I like someone else, keep having thoughts that we want different things, we love each other but will it work if this is the case? |
t3_12npxn | relationships | My (f-26) wife's parents made her leave me because of money. What should I do? | I am (M-37). My wife got a DUI, and didn't pay her fines. Thus enciting her super-meddling, over possesive parents and grand parents to make her move out of our home, and her father even had the nerve to call her boss, and tell her she would'nt be coming back to her job! (I think she is afraid of them)
They didn't like me (even though they had not met me), then LOVED me, then hated me again, without me even doing anything (honestly. No delusion). They have been trying to get her to leave me, even though we don"t have any major inter-relationship issues. They just don't like me.
She moved home because she believes that they will help her financially, and they well might, but they are going to do whatever they can to get her to divorce me. She doesn't want to, but she needs about $1200 to pay her fines, and get her drivers licence back, so she can travel back and forth to work, (my wife and I live in a semi-rural area, and her parents live in a RURAL area.)that either of us have.
She pretty much has to sneak and talk to me, because she is afraid that they won't give her the money. She is working for her grandparents, in hopes of the money, but has not been guaranteed anything. Her plan is to get they money, and split their house, but I am sure they are on to that, because they have tried to bribe her to leave me before (she told them she would, with intents of taking the money and telling them to get bent. She ended up with a $15 gift card to a grocery store).
I am being supportive, and trying to be understanding, but it is really hard to do, because it is my belief that she is 26 years old, and can make her own decisions. This is really hard on me, and could use some advice/support. Thanks, Reddit. | My wife's parents bullied her into leaving our home, and moving into theirs because of money. She didn't want to do it. Help! |
t3_ex1du | loseit | Cardio without ankle strain. Any suggestions? | Heyo /r/loseit, I was hoping some of you could help me.
I'm currently on my 2nd ankle reconstruction, probably nearing a third. I have loose ligaments in all of my joints, which if I were skinny would mean I'd be a pretty awesome contortionist. Unfortunately, when you're overweight it just means a hell of a lot of falling over.
Here comes my issue. I spent about 6 months last year going through the same motions. I would start at the gym, every other day doing 30 min cardio, 30 min weight training. Stretching before and after.
Within about a week, my ankle would be so weak I'd sprain it walking down the street, or dislocate while sitting or standing, which on surgeons orders puts me in a fiberglass cast for 2 weeks.
Once it was totally healed, I'd try again. Varying the cardio I did to only cycling, only to see the same result.
I've come to a point now where I'm afraid of starting up again because of the pain I experience and to be honest, less than a week of exercise once a month with the rest of the time in a cast isn't really worth my time.
Swimming is an option, but the pools around here are expensive and travel is time consuming - so if it's my only option I'll go for it. Though if anyone has a different suggestion, it would be great. | I have a weak ankle because I'm overweight and can't lose weight through exercise because of a weak ankle. What can I do? |
t3_3z3vl4 | legaladvice | Copyright infringement lawsuit | **[MA]** I've recently got into a case of copyright infringement. I didn't get served anything directly just yet, just the email from Google informing me there's a case against me from a tube site company (as an unidentified John Doe) and they've gotten a subpoena to release my information. Also, this is just an alternate account I rarely use so there's no real information about me on it.
More details, I uploaded some porn on a tube site around 2 years ago when I was 19. Most were pirated and uploaded outside the US, in a country where copyright infringement was never enforced. All of the videos were set private so no one else can see but me. And I haven't visited the site for ages now. The site used to have lots of pirated material from the start but I think they cracked down on it very recently.
Well, goes back to the problem at hand, I contacted a lawyer firm in the area and the retainer fee is really high. I'm an international student in college, so most of my finance comes from my parents, who are in another country. Problem is I'm gay and not out to them or anyone else and not planning to anytime soon. Asking them for a large sum of money for the fee wouldn't be normal and I really don't want to out myself because of the case. Plus, I'm not sure how this would effect my visa status or an chance to get a green card later. | I'm being sued for posting some porn on a tube site when I was a horny teenager. Need some retainer money from parents but it might out me to them. What to do? |
t3_y344y | relationships | How do I[M21] forge a mature long term relationship with my SO [F20] | We have been together for six months, I'm not saying I'm ready to settle down but that is the path I want to begin to take.
My prior experiences all stem from high-school. mainly a three year relationship, however i was never really happy or in it (long story but I had to work on myself and made good choices for myself like ending the relationship) So I really have no clue on how to start putting the right things into motion or if I even need to.
I am decent at dating and having the initial things do. Do I just keep this up? How do i get to a more serious level. we are still living separately and don't have an immediate plans to move in together.
I'd like advice on how to form a serious lasting relationship that is meaningful and important. I will take all criticism. | I have no experience in serious monogamous relationships, How do I make it happen? Am I even asking the right question? |
t3_xn5o2 | AskReddit | I took my roommate's son to a science centre, fancy dinner, then fireworks. Afterwords he told his dad it was the best day of his life. Reddit, what small thing have you done that meant a lot to someone else and melted your otherwise cold heart? | My roommate is very busy at a new job, trying to make ends meet after a tough divorce. His eight year old son who has been staying with us in the big city for the last week while his Mom is visiting her new boyfriend in another city. My roommate was unable to make to the fireworks he wanted to take him to, so since i had the day off i stepped up and decided to help. I didn't think much of it since it would only be just another afternoon I would otherwise have wasted. So, we spent the day walking around. He would always fall a step behind me and I asked him why... he said it was because his mother would tell him to when they walked together. I told him he is not subservient to me so walk beside me. He asked me what that meant (I often forget my loquacious and superfluous vocabulary can be lost on youth). I said, in the old days servants and slaves followed their masters. You are my equal so walk with me. He smiled and we walked and talked all day. We went to a science exhibit, ate like kings at a fancy restaurant, and gorged on junk food at a fireworks display that night.
Now, I'm not much for compliments or praise, nor do I give them easily. So, when I overheard him tell his dad the next morning (they were downstairs and he didn't know I was home) that he had the best time of his life, I nearly cried. | Reddit, what act have you done that you considered small, that someone else considered so big that it has changed your perspective on life? |
t3_2rn6pu | relationships | I [27/m] am looking for ways to move on 6 months after a breakup with my gf [25/f] of 2 years | We broke up 6 months ago. I was and still think I am very much in love with her. She cited she was not in love with me.
I've posted before and mentioned that I had been doing great, but she was constantly on my mind. She broke the silence a few days ago, because she realized I still had something of hers, which I returned to her without seeing her. There was no conversation besides that I had her belongings and Id return them. But it's turned me upside down. It's set me back and been driving me nuts.
Part of me wants to contact her. I want to know that she has moved on. I feel that if I knew that, I can use it as sort of closure. I can extinguish any of the hope I feel like I subconsciously have. If I were to reach out and maturely lay out how I feel and ask directly for this closure, is that a bad idea? | I want to contact my ex, tell her how I feel and ask her if she has moved on so that I can find closure and do the same. |
t3_52hwx4 | relationships | Me [14 M]with my crush/friend [15 F] about a year now I've liked her. Just a couple months ago our relationship changed. | Okay, without going into a year or so of my life, I'll explain it as good as possible.
I ride horses with girls at a barn. All the girls there are way older than me 23, 18, and such. This one girl is 15. Let's name her O. I've like O for a while now, and one of the girls I had trusted knew it. I asked O out to hang out some time and she said sure and gave me her number without me asking. I was a happy camper. My then friend told her I wanted more.
I got a text an hour or so later saying that she just wanted to be friends. :(. I said okay and told her how I felt (probs messed up here). She said she understood and wanted to stay friends. She is a shy person and talks to some of the girls there. She used to talk to me and now she avoids me a lot. When I ask questions the answers are short. She doesn't like to keep conversations with me (or it feels like that). I haven't done anything romantic or anything like that since we talked about being friends.
We talked about being friends months ago. What can I do to restore our relationship? | Liked a girl, a friend told her I wanted more and then she texted me she wants to be friends. I agreed and now she doesn't talk to me much. |
t3_3l8imz | relationships | My [18M] only friend is my ex [18F] | We had been dating for about half a year. We had gotten to the point where we were both very comfortable with one another just being ourselves (well I thought so at least) and even made some plans to get an apartment together next school year. Anyways, it just seemed like the relationship was going somewhere. I thought I was in love with her. She decided about 3 weeks ago that wasn't what she wanted at all and left me. We decided to try and stay friends. I don't have anyone else in my life at all. I'm incredibly shy, talking to people can seem like a nightmare at times. Even posting this anonymously is challenging. Its getting really hard to be around her too. She's already fucked two other guys and is dating one of them now. A part of me feels like staying as her friend is almost like the lesser of two evils. Its going to be really awkward if I stop talking to her since we sit next to each other in one of our college classes (we have assigned seats in the class for some reason) Hell if I know. Maybe some of the people on here have experienced something similar. So here's my question to you guys on Reddit: Should I just drop this girl and deal with whatever repercussions that brings? | My ex broke up with me recently and we stayed friends because she's my only friend. Should I go no contact anyways? |
t3_2t5575 | offmychest | [NSFW language][NAW] That was truly dusturbing to read... | Just stumbled upon a wifeswapping story. Maybe I'm completely oblivious to what a true relationship/marriage is, but I believe what seperates two people from being merely good friends and being in a relationship are strict static boundaries. How can you plan and *watch* another man "passionately kiss and fuck" your wife? If other dudes are plowing your wife and you "feel the jealousy, but it's part of the thrill", how can you accept her as being a loyal and faithful woman? Obviously your wife wants to bang other men and keep you for security and stability. Shes getting her cake and eating it too. And you like it. What would happen if you were in a relationship with a woman who wanted to be loyal or straight up 1 on 1? Would that not work for you? I don't understand and I'm honestly quite disturbed by what I read. I felt that horrible feeling of jealousy FOR you. Fuck. | Was curious to read about an uncommon fetish. Immedietely felt the intense jealousy that another person would seemingly feel watching his wife bang other people. Now I feel like complete trash. Don't be curious. |
t3_1byfuk | AskReddit | What is the craziest/most-stressful thing that has happened to you at work? | I thought of this while I was at work this afternoon. I tutor young children at an after-school learning center and at the moment was helping two 5 year old boys, one of them being a moderately austic boy who we will call Reese, and the other one we will call Thomas. Reese points out how loose one of his baby teeth is, all the while Thomas was complaining of a headache. Maybe ten minutes later Reese looks at me with blood coming from his mouth and goes "It fellded out". I grab Reese a tissue, successfully locate the missing tooth, and have him give it to his nanny. Thomas is on the verge of crying about his "forehead hurting" and refuses to pay attention to his work. My boss had to come over and get Thomas to focus while I worked with Reese.
I apologize for the anti-climactic ending/boring read and I know this story doesn't sound as good in writing, but I assure you it was something straight out of a Ben Stiller movie and really just made me feel like I'd aged 10 years. | Children going ape-shit. One with a missing tooth and blood coming out of his mouth, and the other one crying about a non-existent headache.* |
t3_1d8box | relationships | How can i (20F) stop being so moody with my bf (20M)? | throwaway as bf is on reddit!
I love my boyfriend more than anything and we've been together for around 2.5 years. We took a break for a couple of months in september (whole other story that i don't feel is relevant) and got back together just before Christmas. Things were pretty much perfect and i couldn't have been happier.
However recently i've found he's been more distant with me and he spends more time with his friends than with me, we both have finals coming up and it's difficult to make time for each other however any time he does have he spends with his friends. I've been getting progressively more upset about this and have voiced my concerns numerous times. I spoke to him yesterday and he said maybe i'd want to spend time with you if you weren't so moody... he's already told me that while he loves me he's not sure if he can do this anymore if i'm gunna stay the way i am.
For the 2 years of our relationship (including the separation) i was pretty much his only friend that he hung out with on a regular basis and therefore his time was spent with me. Now he's suddenly got a group of boys that he hangs out with ALL the time and whilst i'm so happy he has good friends (everyone needs them!) i'm finding it hard to adjust to the fact that he will choose to be with them over me. So whenever he mentions them my mood switches completely.
It's driving him away and making him feel like he can't talk to me about anything anymore.
Someone please help me to stop being so moody about his friends! Just need some advise on how to handle it i guess =/ | bf of 2.5 years has new friends and spends a lot of time with them now instead of me... it's making me super moody and is driving him away, help me please?! |
t3_3y9272 | relationships | Me [36 F] with my husband [38M] 10 years duration, to forgive or not? | Dear people commenting on r/relationships. Need your advice on how to approach this letter from my husband whom I have been separated since October 2015.
The letter (please excuse grammar as English is not our first language).
Wife
- I have 10 days off end of January and I am thinking to come to visit you and (daughter 9 years old) but…
-This period of not being under the same roof with each other allow me to see things differently and understand myself (including my weaknesses and flaws)….
-I have to admit that I failed in this experience of marriage (I only have myself to blame).
-The MAIN issue is that yes we are both attractive and good looking (I always said you are a very beautiful woman and I always like intimacy), but the main issue and I think you also agree on this is that you and I have personalities/perspectives on life that are different or are they call it "emotionally incompatible with each other" and this level of incompatibility on the emotional level make us either fail to respond appropriately to each other (ignoring each other /not talking..etc) or in some cases respond badly (verbal or physical abuse).
- This DOESN'T mean you have something wrong or "its your fault" or " I Am blaming you". NONE of these things ! and I am very sorry for every thing I said or did that hurted you, (forgive me).You are a good person, caring mother and I said beautiful.
-I feel failure/unhappy/ exhausted/frustrated of continuing to have a relationship like this and I think you feel the same way.
- I don't believe a decent human being enjoy hurting another person unless they are monsters, but its just a fact that some people click and some don't.
-Solution ? : not to live under the same roof ( i.e. be friends not couple) as I AM NOT WILING TO live this way ANYMORE (to you or myself).
-God help both of us
-your thoughts ?
Husband | Abuse husband of 10 years asking for forgiveness. I was going to ask for divorce in July but now I am confused as my daughter doesn't want her parents to separate. Does his letter feel heartfelt? |
t3_4lcesq | relationships | I [21/f] met this guy [19/m] online two weeks ago, yesterday he told me he booked a flight to see me and today he landed. I'm not sure how to feel about this... | I've already posted this question in r/Long_Distance but I feel like you guys can help more.
He lives in the US and I live in Canada, we only met two weeks ago and although we kept in touch for two weeks, we didn't really msg each other everyday. So I don't know much about him except for what he looks like, his age, what he does and where he lives.
He completely surprised me yesterday by saying he's coming to Canada and I was even more mind blown that he actually landed today and he actually did this trip just to meet me (Apparently his family is really rich so money isn't an issue at all). I agreed to meet him two days later, in broad daylight. But I don't know what to make of this exactly, it was so spontaneous and unexpected, What do you guys think? | Guy I barely know decides out of the blue to book a flight to come see me all the way from the US to Canada, he's here now and I'm not sure how I feel about this. |
t3_1i0lgw | relationships | I [26]M would like advice on my 7 month relationship with [27]F | So my SO and I have been together for 7 months. She [27] We both love each other very much, and I plan on marrying her one day. We have both discussed our future with each other, and are very happy together, and pretty open about everything.
She has a much more sexual past than I, which doesn't bother me at all, but an issue has arisen that makes me feel pretty damn uncomfortable, and in the back of my head, makes me wonder if I can trust her. I've seen texts pop up on her phone here and there from many guys, saying things such as "morning beautiful, or morning sexy" which obviously makes me uncomfortable.
She has multiple ways of communicating via texting apps, and couldn't help myself to see what was up, even though I know deep down I shouldn't be snooping. However this is the woman I love and want to spend the rest of my life with, and don't want to have this relationship all be a waste of my time.
So getting back, her replies to these texts are pretty standard, as in hey, how's it going. But when I see someone say shit sexually advancing toward her such as "I want to get in your pants" and her only reply is "is that right?" It hurts a lot. She is very flirtatious and cannot be without her phone for long.
We have both been cheated on in the past, and have neither once cheated ourselves. She has pretty much only guy friends, and they all seem to want the same thing from her which is sex. I've also seen texts of said guys asking for pics from her, which she obliges, but nothing provocative, and they reply back with let's see some more skin. And she just leaves it at that.
I guess what I am getting at is that fact that she continues to even talk to these people knowing that all they want is one thing. It really frustrates me, and I don't know how to deal with it. Last thing I want her to know is that I've snooped, but I love this woman so much, and don't want anything to happen. Can I get a little advice | The woman I want to marry has mostly guy friend who text her quite often, sexually, and it it bothersome. |
t3_t7pxq | AskReddit | Someone created an "anonymous" forum for my university to gossip on, let it run for weeks, and is now releasing everyone's name and what they posted. Is this legal? | The Website in question:
Part of me thinks that it is hilarious what he did, but another part is worried about the ramifications it is going to have on the people who posted on this website.
There used to be an anonymous forum for universities where people would just gossip about whatever and whoever. Usually they talked about the best sororities/fraternities, hazing, hottest girls/guys, rumors about what specific people did, drug use, etc. etc.. Basically like a 4chan for specific universities. The site was shut down around a year ago.
Now some guy about a month ago created this website, selling it to be the exact same as the previous gossip board that was shut down. Some of the posts were obviously offensive, and were things that would never be said if it weren't anonymous. Now, as you can see if you go to the website, he tracked who posted what and is releasing that information.
I never posted on it, so there's nothing out there to identify me, although I know of people who did. Usually people just post as an attempt to troll someone or some group of people. But, if all of these posts are released, I imagine some people could be harmed by it for posting on what they thought was an anonymous board.
So, is this even legal? Can he be sued or anything for releasing this? | Guy creates 'anonymous' board for university students to gossip on, then released the names/exact posts of the posters a month later. Is this legal? |
t3_5091ri | BreakUps | I just need someone to tell me [F, 24] that I did the right thing by breaking up with my SO [M, 24]. | I broke up with my SO of nearly 3 years earlier this summer. I knew in my heart that it was the right thing to do, and to be with him any longer would be incredibly selfish. However, now all these shitty things are happening to him -- he lost his job, and a family member of his is dying. I can't help but feel incredibly guilty. Not only did he lose me as his SO and best friend, but he lost his job and is losing a family member as well. I can't help but feel like I should be by his side through all of this! Not only that, but he made a post about all of this on a social media platform which he literally NEVER uses/barely has any followers on besides myself and a few others, so I know the intention was for me to see it and in turn, feel guilty and take him back. He posted about how he was going through the most difficult time of his life. I feel so awful... | Broke up with my SO right before a bunch of shitty things started happening with his life. e.g. he lost his job and a family member of his is dying. Now I'm swallowed by guilt. |
t3_znwfb | AskReddit | Will the U.S. or another country eventually stop printing physical money and "money" will just be numbers on a computer screen? Will that ever happen and how would it affect the economy? | I've recently come to a realization that I hardly ever use or carry physical currency. I pay mostly everything through my credit card, I pay my credit card bills through my checking account, and my checking account gets money through deposits from my employer. I never see physical money much anymore and money to me has become numbers on a computer screen. I can only imagine that everybody will keep moving toward this direction.
This leads me to believe that one day, whenever the Fed needs to print money, it will just create money digitally. Instead of printing physically money, their bank account (or whatever they use to hold money) will simply have an increase in numbers. Since the U.S. moved off the gold standard, there is nothing physical that backs up its currency. And in a sense, not having physical money to back up the numbers in your bank account is already occurring. If everyone were to withdraw all of their money from their banks tomorrow, the banks wouldn't have enough money to pay us all because that money is tied up elsewhere (in investments like loans, bonds, foreign currency, etc.). Even though U.S. currency already doesn't have anything backing it, will a conversion to "digital money" be psychologically damaging for an economy? | I just realized that money is just numbers on a computer screen for me and it's oddly fascinating. Will society eventually get rid of paper money all together? |
t3_1kr9el | relationships | Me[29/F] with my boyfriend [24M] ~1year, paying for school | My boyfriend is currently at a junior college (community college) and trying to transfer to a 4 year university at the end of this academic year. He currently has no job, as he moved across the US to be with me. His parents are unable / unwilling to help out with tuition. Right now, I'm paying for rent, groceries, and his tuition. I make a decent salary (low 6 figures), although a lot of my salary goes towards my 401k and other benefits (health, etc.). He's been looking for jobs, and is pretty good about not buying random things, eating out, etc. Am I just getting used and not seeing it, or is it worth it if I think that we have a future together? | I'm paying for everything, he's trying to find a job, not sure if helping him out with school tuition is a good thing. |
t3_37ky4x | relationships | Me [21 M] with my sort of girlfriend [17 F]. I made out with another girl before we were really a thing. | So I've been kind of seeing this girl for a few weeks now. It was about a month ago that I told her how I felt about her, she told me that she felt the same way but didn't really want to start anything because we were both bogged down with college work.
Recently, in the past week, things have been getting on a bit. My question is, about a week after I told her that I liked her, I was out at a club with some friends and this girl that I didn't know (she was friends with one of my friends) came onto me and we made out a bit. Nothing happened after that.
Nothing was really happening with my sort of girlfriend at the time except we were talking a lot. Should I tell her about this random girl? | My sort of girlfriend wasn't really my sort of girlfriend at the time that I made out with a random girl at a club. Should I tell my sort of girlfriend about it? |
t3_3q4s2d | relationships | question about facebook vs reality and how it relates to a relationship | this info seems kinda irreverent but it's required so here: i'm 16m, she's 16f. i know a girl, and i'll just refer to her as girl. from what i can tell, girl likes me, and i like her. she does the whole thing where she smiles when she sees you, plays with hair, yadda yadda yadda. so i think to myself, "why don't i friend her on facebook? i've known her for a while and she likes me." so i do this. 3 days later i'm blocked from friending her at all. what does it mean? was i being led on? am i overreacting? i am new to dating. | because 3 sentences is too long for auto mod: i was blocked from friending a girl that i like on facebook, but she likes me. |
t3_1szpku | relationship_advice | I [19F] am considering seperating with my highschool boyfriend [19M]. Wondering how to make it easier. | I'm so damn young compared to y'all.
So, my main problem is that we've actually got a great relationship going on. Nearly 2 years now, talking about moving out together and all that, we have similar goals and values and all that fun junk that makes a relationship that much easier.
But we just don't match up in terms of wants and needs. I want a lot of physical affection, and he wants emotional comfort that I really don't understand how to give. He's angry often, and I'm dealing with anxiety and possibly depression. We get into petty arguments a lot, and I find that we're just not on the same page on the little things that matter to one of us or the other.
So I've tentatively decided that splitting may be the best idea. I need the physical affection, and honestly unless it leads into sex I just don't get it. When I do it's not really affectionate, it always feels like I'm just latched onto him while he just sort of is there.
But I'm having problems deciding when to split.
I want to give him his Christmas present first. Bought him something pretty expensive that I know he'd like, and I don't want it to go to waste. I still want him to have it. But, I don't want to fall into keeping thinking "Later... later... later..." until I'm walking down the aisle with someone I enjoy, but don't feel like I can be truly happy with.
Should I wait until after Christmas then? Do it now and still give him a present? I don't want to sour Christmas for him, nor the gift, and I want to leave on as good as terms as possible. I suppose its worth it to say I haven't even bought it yet due to Amazon being a fuckup. | Want to have as amicable a break up as possible, want to give bf his Christmas gift and don't want to sour the holiday season. What can I do? |
t3_3frzpz | legaladvice | (California) Got busted busting a bust, looking for advice | Here's the story, last weekend I went met up with some friends and went out for the night. In the process of said evening, I had many drinks and became intoxicated. Typical night, until we headed back to my friend's place to tuck in for the night. My friend lives with a roommate and her boyfriend (or something like that, it's a really weird story where he isn't paying rent and mooching off them, a real [Scott] Let me follow that preface with the fact that most of this place is furnished with stuff from the street (this thing looked like it was too). Now on to explaining what "this thing" is. Basically there was this wooden base statue I had assumed had come from the streets as well with some sort of bust head, right when you walk in my friend's doorway.
Having had a few many drinks I had decided that I was going to slap this statue around as if it were a punching dummy. In doing that I discovered that it's head came off, at which point I proceeded to take it outside and smash it on the pavement. Honestly, I have no idea why I was compelled to do it, but I did.
Fast forward to today, it turns out that this statue was "Scott's" and now that this guy is claiming his statue is worth "sentimental" value to him, because his dad gave it to him, no further details on that at the moment. Anyway, I know what I did was dumb and I owe the guy an apology and some sort of replacement, but I'm reaching out to Reddit because if this thing blows up more than just him and I agreeing on a fair value, then how much trouble could I be in? Also if something happens outside of an agreed value to the property between him and I, what am I supposed to do? | basically I imbibed on the weekend, and broke a friend's roommate's statue, and am reaching out before anything takes off so I can be prepared just in case any legal action is pursued by him. |
t3_1z7kg1 | tifu | TIFU By masturbating in the shower. | So I get off work and take my usual morning dump before I shower, it's about 6:30am. I usually shower and go to bed with my GF until she goes to class. Today I was feeling particularly horny, so I decided to jerk off in the shower. So I jerk off, and when I finish I notice it's not wanting to flow with the water down the drain. So I have to kind of push it with my foot to get it to go toward the drain, and now I have some stuck to my foot, no big deal. But then I see it just sitting in the drain...shit. And so I figure there is probably hair stuck in the drain. So I then proceed to pull a giant jizz-covered hairball out of the drain, and it is absolutely fucking disgusting. Pulling a giant hairball out of the shower drain is gross enough on its own, but when the hairball is covered in jizz....that's a whole other level of gross. | Jerked off in the shower, had to pull out a giant jizz-covered hairball out of the shower drain. |
t3_2c3qyk | tifu | TIFU by being a cheap prick | I should add that I work at Wal-Mart in Canada. This happened a few weeks ago. I was low on money, and for some piece of shit reason, I decided to take an item worth $65. I regretted it afterward, I felt so guilty. I couldn't exactly return it, as I could possibly lose my job. This afternoon, a saw 2 police officers in uniform enter the door that leads to the loss prevention. Of course I was scared shirtless for my job, and especially my future, as I am still a minor. I just don't know what to do next. If I could fix this and get off scott-free, I would. I still am not certain what the police were doing there, or if they know it was. I am really scared shitless, and I feel like a scumbag piece of shit. Stealing isn't in my nature. I know for sure I won't be shoplifting anything from now on. | Canadian Walmart employee, spur of the moment decided to take a $65 dollar item of the shelf, police came, don't know if I'm screwed or not. |
t3_29te4e | relationships | Me (18F) with my roommates (18-20sMs), they don't do the goddamn dishes. | I moved on-campus at my university, and I haven't been here long but I've noticed my roommates don't do the dishes. They stack their dirty dishes up and leave them on the sink. It's making me really annoyed everytime I want to use the kitchen, because I actually do my dishes when I'm done with them and I have to work around their dirty shit.
I don't consider myself to be a clean freak, but this mess is making me angrier and angrier the more I see it grow. I thought it was just plain good manners to clean up after yourself if you share a kitchen (this is my first time living away from home, so I might be wrong).
The second night I was here, I actually did all the dirty dishes in the sink, because the mess was annoying me. I hoped that all that dirty shit wasn't a regular thing.
Lo and behold, the mess accumulated again, and so I just move their crap out of the sink so I can clean my dishes.
I know the only other girl in my apartment cleans up after herself. It's the dudes that don't. When I met her, she told me that she's tried to make them clean up after themselves but to no avail, and that she was shocked to find the dishes done after I cleaned them on my second night here. They all seem like introverted people, so I don't see them walking around very much. I just see the mess they leave behind in the kitchen. Thank Jesus there's two bathrooms and they're male/female designated. If they're this gross about their kitchen habits, I don't even want to know about the state of their bathroom.
I don't know how to approach them about this, I've only been here just over a week. Any advice? | Moved into uni housing, the concept of keeping a shared kitchen free of mess and dirty dishes is apparently completely foreign to my male roommmates. |
t3_4ysghn | relationships | I (27m) have been seeing her (25f). She wants to go slow. I'm getting insecure. | I've been seeing her for about two months now. We recently became intimate for the first time and it went really well. Thing is I'm starting to slowly grow feelings for her and when I told her about this she always replies that she doesn't want to settle or commit yet. She assures me that even though we are going slow she does she this becoming something really good.
I guess I'm sort of an impatient guy. I like to make sure that everything is in some kind of order and know exactly where I am. This is definitely a new field for me, relationships that is. I really do like this girl but I'm having some personal trust issues coming up as well. I'd love to see her as much as possible but I also don't want to pressure her or push her away.
Is there anything that I could do? Should I just try and not be clingy and find some distractions. The problem I have is when I have a lot of time on my hands I start to think a lot. So now I'm starting to wonder if she's seeing other guys and maybe I'm being played. | taking it slow with a girl but I feel like the slower it is the more chances of it not working out can happen. |
t3_263rcx | relationships | [18M] A more intimate [17F]riend of mine is extremely straightforward but maybe also confused | Weve known each other for about three years now and been close for about one and a half. Im back from college for the summer and she's a junior in high school (we are actually a year and a day apart). Basically, this means that there can be nothing too long term, and I plan to move on regardless when I get back to school. We both have a history of depression and some other issues and during high school, we really bonded because of it. She mentioned that she wanted to hang out, and I agreed to the idea and we started to skype. I learned that she hasnt been too well off mentally and she mentioned how she had begun fooling around with some guys lately, and it devolved (or evolved?) into her saying that she is more than slightly interested in doing the same with me.
I, on the other hand, am a guy who hasnt even had his first kiss. I'm not ugly, Im not dumb, Im not boring, Im not unconfident, I just... dont know. Haha. Anyway, I really care for her, and believe me, Im extremely excited about this prospect, but Im worried about the consequences of a possible FWB summer fling. Im also worried that her feelings are more motivated by her emotional depravity and not a more genuine attraction (although she had always been very friendly before). I really want to spend time with her and support her mental healing, but can I do that while also letting whatever physical happens happen? | friend that needs me also wants my D. She knows she cant be my girlfriend. Can I help her while also going further? Should I let it go further? |
t3_2w1cib | relationships | Me [17 M] , I try and try but cant succeed | I am having lady problems, I was recently fucked over by two friends and my ex if you want to see that story my profile might have it or something.
anyways back to the lady problems, time after time I am getting shut down. I have tried every way I can think of to talk and meet girls and so far it isn't working. I can usually get into a conversation but the problems come after. I do everything I can to be nice and I do a pretty good job they always say im a gentlemen. But as a little time goes by I become interested and it seems as they do to. Something always happens! just today a girl i was planning on asking out next Saturday got asked out. another girl i have been talking to who has actually said she was into me, sucks ass at texting and cant reply worth anything. But lately it almost seems as if shes trying not to talk to me. I am nothing but nice like I said. This seems to happen time after time. WHAT AM I DOING WRONG??? its actually getting to me now, after my last break up nothing has been working, and i constantly feel down and have trouble getting back up. | I try talking to the ladies and i get my foot in the door for it to always get shut. What am i doing wrong what can i do to change this? please help reddit honestly its getting to me. |
t3_1ul109 | relationship_advice | My boyfriend [22M] and I [23F] have different opinions about marriage | So it's super cliche but my bf and I are really close and we're very much in love. We've known each other since highschool and I can count on 1 hand the times that we've fought. However, I feel like we're not on the same page exactly about marriage. We've talked about it before, and it's definitely something we both want to do however he doesn't want to until he finishes school. Granted that in itself is logical and I get it but we've been together for 7 years and he's VERY capable financially. He has an excellent job and makes good money so his finances aren't the problem (even though for awhile he said it was). I'm going to be graduating in a few months and then I'll most likely also get a good job.
SO...WAT?? He was willing to live together as soon as I graduated but if he's able to live with me isn't he able to marry me if he wants to? Maybe I'm being impatient but it's been 7 years and I'm having a hard time dealing with it :( it's always been my belief that if it's something we both want then why wait if we're both capable and it will make us really happy?
Please reddit, tell me to get a grip or if I'm right to be frustrated in a way. Thanks | my boyfriend is capable of taking that next step (marriage) in every way but absolutely REFUSES until he finishes school (even though its something we both want) for reasons unknown to me am I being ridiculous? |
t3_27lix3 | relationships | Me [21 M] dealing with racist father | So my dad is Chinese and he has hatred towards black people and it's really affecting me. He clumps them all up with the ghetto and gangsters that rob and steal and all that stuff.
This is especially troubling me since my girlfriend is black and he's always yelling at me for being with her. While my sisters and aunts support me and tell me that whatever he says shouldn't matter, I do however want to stop my dad from being racist. No one is dealing with the heart of the problem. I try telling him that just because those guys that end up on the news are bad doesn't mean everyone else is bad.
Recently he has been sending me videos on WeChat with stories of how black people are always attacking asians. Followed by messages going like "oh, fucking black people are always bullying chinese people."
I'm at the point where I literally have to use a stress ball to just stop myself from cursing the shit out of my dad. | Chinese dad being racist towards black people. My girlfriend is black and this is creating many problems. Racism gotten worse lately and it's really affecting me. What should I do to stop this hate? |
t3_lj6h6 | AskReddit | My fifteen year old friend is being abused by his dad. How can I get the authorities involved? | Ok, so here is a little back-story my friend's (who I've known all my life) mom was abused by his dad for years. (His dad is a raging alcoholic who is drunk nearly 24/7) It started with verbal abuse, and then raised to physical abuse about five years ago. It got to the point where he almost killed her multiple times and threatened to kill her.
So about a year ago she got a divorce and moved out. Now she is living with her new boyfriend and has limited contact with her ex-husband.
But he still has partial custody of his son. It turns out that last Monday he took his son (who is fifteen) by the shoulders and tried to toss him out a window. But he didn't break through the window, so he was standing there back to the window when his dad came up to him and pined him to the window and started threatening him, so my friend kneed him in the gut to make him let him go.
After that his dad went into the kitchen and got down six glasses and started throwing them at his son, then when they would break he went and picked up the glass shards and started throwing those at him.
And then he went back to yelling at him for about four hours.
Now, I know all of this through my mom who just got told this by his mom, who my friend told the day after it happened when he got to his moms house.
So his mom won't call the cops, and even if she did my friend wouldn't tell them anything, because he feels like he has to be there for his dad to try and "fix" him.
Also he's mad at his mom for breaking up with his dad and he says that she should have stayed with him to try and "fix" him
So my question is, how can I get the cops or other authorities involved? Also how should I go about talking to my friend about this, and show him that he can't "fix" his dad my still going over there and running the risk of getting killed?
If he were to tell this to me directly would I be able to report it? | My friend is being abused by his father and his mom (who is divorced from his dad) won't report it. |
t3_2sg00l | tifu | TIFU. Gave housekeeper a heart attack and destroying her door wedge. | This just happened. I am sent to the great US of A for a company meeting. We love it here! Great hospitality, productive discussions and amazing Mexican food and no one forces me to drink till my poor liver bursts.
We just had lunch and were getting ready to round two of meetings when yesterday's Mexican food started to give me the familiar rumble. I decided to run back to the room and do the business and quickly get back down.
Gets to my room, found the housekeeper in there busy vacuuming the carpet. I knocked the door, she didn't hear it. I knocked again, she didn't hear it too. So I just said "excuse me" rather loud, she droppped the vacuum in shock and jumped in fright before turning to me and apologizing for being in the room.
While we battled to fire out the most apologies in the quickest way while she ran out of the room, leaving behind her broom and cleaning chemicals. I ran into the toilet before running out again to close the hotel room door without noticing it's been jammed open with a door wedge. I forced it shut, breaking the the wedge in half and scaring the housekeeper for the second time in 2 minutes.
After the glorious dump I opened the door and found her washing the opposite room's toilet and returning the broom back to her trolley rack. | scared housekeeper and perpetuated the horrible asian man image by breaking her livelihood and sneaking in a stingy 1USD tip through the broom handle. |
t3_1ifb34 | relationship_advice | My husband's [34/m] corporate job has caused him excessive stress for the past 6 months with no sign of letting up. Any advice? Blowing my top is not the answer! [30/f] | I am a 30 year old female PhD student in the sciences. I have been married 4 years to my PhD scientist husband. When we were first married he was a postdoc (which can be stressful, however the job allows for a lot of agency and independence).
Two years ago my husband made the leap into a Big Pharma. At first it was a dream job with a dream salary. However, the management structure has changed multiple times in two years, leading to a breakdown of his immediate work group.
My husband is working long, stressful hours; he is literally at his limit. His manager keeps piling on more demands. My husband usually loves to rise to a challenge and feels satisfied after working long hours. However, the work-load is never decreasing and he feels overwhelmed.
I would like to encourage him to set boundaries for work--no working past 8 pm for example--so that he can have time to "unplug" and rest. It is taking a toll on MY ability to focus at my job. He is literally miserable all the time.
I just want him to be happy. He is very emotionally invested in his job, and he feels like he must succeed.
We don't have a mortgage and we have no kids. We have substantial savings. I don't know why he feels like he must stick it out at this job. He feels like he is failing--however he is working as hard as he can. It is really hard to watch.
Am I supposed to put my foot down and yell at him (I tried that this morning--he ended up crying (!!!) out of frustration and misery) or be supportive and enable him work himself to death?! I took him to the garden and swimming after work last night but it was like being with a zombie--he was obviously thinking about work the entire time.
Any other long term relationship / married people dealing with careers and professional stress? I would love some advice!!! | Husband is in a toxic work environment at a high paying, high stress job. Spouse feels like her hands are tied and cannot alleviate stress. |
t3_4006r6 | relationships | I (22M) talked with a girl online. It was actually my (23F) girlfriend testing me and I failed. | I was talking to who I thought was a random person and just chit chatting. She got flirty right away and I just kind of responded back one level lower than she did. She said things like which city will you be in when I go somewhere for school and I lied and said a fake city. She said she was also in said city and said hey we should meet up. I said ya sure that sounds fun.
She got into sexual things. I don't know why, but I responded. I don't know what was going on in me to do that. I had just started a new medication (clonazepam) and a lot of the things I wrote seem fuzzy in my memory. I'm not blaming the meds, I am the one that fucked up. I am owning up to it.
This woman is the love of my life. We've been together through hell and back for 3 years. I need to make things right. If anything, I need to try. No matter how futile it seems I need to try everything.
Before anyone says anything. I am a pathetic piece of shit for what I did, but I would never physically have cheated on her. I wasn't even being serious with the messages, I just responded and I don't know why. I know it's emotional cheating and I know the pain is the same and I have caused this pain.
What can I do? Is there anything I can do? Have any of you been in this situation before from either side and what did you do? Is there any hope? | I fucked up and talked to a girl online that was my GF (soon to have been my wife). I don't know why I did it and I didn't do it with malicious intent, but I still failed. |
t3_3tpqh8 | relationship_advice | Take back the ex, or just move on? [m/26] | That's always the million dollar question right, are they worth taking back.
Short version is: dated for a year, I moved to where she lived and got a job, a month later she freaked out and moved 1000+ miles away. Things were okay between us for a while and then she just dropped off the face of the earth one day.
Now, a month after disappearing, she LITERALLY flew back and showed up at my door step. Then i got the usual: "I made a terrible mistake," "I realize all i want is you," etc.
I'm not sure what my question is, i guess 'is it even possible to move forward after someone has literally run away?' | Ex moved all the way to the west coast after I moved to be with her. Is that something a future relationship can even overcome? |
t3_lb9hp | relationships | So... what comes next here? | So I've been talking with this girl a whole lot recently. I go to an all boys boarding school up north and she goes to an all girls one nearby. Our schools have dances and stuff like that a few times a year, so I've met this girl 4 or 5 times before. I also hooked up with her roommate, but that was 3 years ago and nobody really gives a shit.
Anyways, she and I have always been friendly, exchanging music and random shit via facebook from time to time for like, a year or so, and I'll see her at dances and that sort of shit, but neither of us have invited each other to either of our schools formals or invitational dances (I feel like I'm sounding like a prep school snob already). But for the past two weeks, we've been talking a LOT. Like skyping and texting pretty much all day talking about music, movies, some of our friends (her hometown isn't close by, but we know a lot of the same people from each). Shes RIDICULOUSLY good looking, so I'm pretty happy that we're talking all the time like this, but I can't really tell if she's interested. I'm a pretty good looking guy, and she's not REALLY out of my league, but she's pretty close. But she also has a lot of guy friends.
So in short, I'm trying to figure out how to know her intentions. I know the obvious answer is going to be ASK, but I feel like that'd be weird via skype/texting/facebook, especially considering we don't see each other THAT often. I also don't really want to fuck up what I've got going on now either, because if she doesn't like me and I ask, it might weird her out and we'll stop talking, then I'd have NO chance. | how to I figure out if this girl I've been talking to a bunch recently likes me only as a friend or is down to hook up without being weird? |
t3_4tadx2 | relationships | My [16M] girlfriend [15F] has recently gotten back from summer camp and is feeling depressed | After a several week long summer program thing, my girlfriend's having a hard time adjusting back to normal life and really misses the friends she has made over there. I've never attended this program before, so it's a bit hard for me to relate to her troubles, but I really want to help her out.
Ever since she's gotten back, she's been feeling down, and has been less responsive with her texts. I really want to help her and comfort her and I've expressed that sentiment several times, but I honestly don't really know what she needs.
Even though I do realize that she can't get over it just like that, and that it takes time, I really, really want to see her happy again (or at least help her make progress and feel better). I suppose it's rather selfish of me to be like this, but I guess I just feel restless and worried and useless not being able to do anything to help.
Do you have any advice on what I should or shouldn't do? | My girlfriend just came back from summer camp and feels down. I'm not sure what I should do, but I want to help. |
t3_1wpc3n | relationships | My [18M] boyfriend is horrible at making plans. It is a pain to get him to hang out with me [18F]. Help? | My [18M] boyfriend of 2+ years has always been sweet, caring, and an overall good guy. But when it comes to making any kind of plans, big or small, last minute or months in advance, he sucks. We are both extremely introverted people, and both love to be independent and alone. We work really well together in this way: we both definitely value alone time as a standard in our life, and this has caused us not to be a typical couple that hangs out daily. We see each other daily (classes) but our date nights vary from 1 to 2 times a month. And we're both okay with this, it's a good balance for each of our introverted selves, and has been working smoothly for 2+ years.
At first I dismissed his bad planning it as "Oh, his work is in the way" or "Oh he must not be feeling well," but now it's come to the point where every time I suggest any kind of date night or quick hang out, he's too lazy to make the plans official. I've never been stood up by him, but plans I'll bring up maybe a month in advance will be shot down within a week of the date, and It makes me kind of upset, not to mention, kind of romantically deprived.
The thing I fear the most with this is coming off as clingy. I keep insisting for us to hang out, and it seems to bother him immensely, in an annoying way. I know he loves me, I know we both have some kind of sexual passion for one another, but why does he keep pushing plans aside? Have I, in the course of this relationship, become somewhat less desirable, and his alone time comes before our romantic health?
I genuinely don't know if there is an issue with me or an issue with him at this point. I love him with all my heart and he constantly reminds me the same thing. But why is it we can't hang out together physically? Is there something I'm being completely ignorant to? I miss cuddles, I miss being the little spoon. Any help is greatly appreciated. Thanks. | Boyfriend of 2+ years doesn't make plans with me anymore. I'm feeling deprived of love. Am I overlooking something that's going on with him, or am I just being clingy? |
t3_236v9m | tifu | TIFU by vomiting in a priest's foot | Hello guys! Actually this sh*t happened some years ago, maybe 8 (I was about 10 at that time), but perfectly fits in this sub.
I'm a christian guy, but I'm not. You understand it? I was baptized, and everything that christians do but I don't give a fuck about it. Yep, seems understandable...
Sooo, christian children do that Holy Comunion, i guess this is the name of that. Like 50 children go to the church in front of all parents and get that fucking waffle for the first time (seems like having the christian virginity taken away, in front of your hole family and other kids families). That thing has 2 years of preparation and I really don't like it, but whatever...
I'm some kind of hellish beast, I say that because I always feel sick when into churches. Actually I FELT because I haven't entered one of them for about 5 years. Going on... Like the demon I am, I felt sick like always in that day, really sick. I mean, my head seems to be exploding and my stomach felt like a bomb, also ready to explode.
When it comes to be my turn to walk into the altar, the shit happens, the most heavy metal thing I have done in my life yet... In front of 500+ people, high in the altar of the church, I vomited hard, right in the priest's foot!!!!!! I felt like Squeartle from that pokemon thing, and I definetly felt like I won the battle against that foot. The old man jumped while I was continuing my demoniac thing. I couldn't stop until a good lady help me.. she took me to a room and cleaned me up, than my parents arrived and both dad and me started laughing hard. That day was a good day, not for the cleaning ladies.. | felt sick in church, standing in the altar I vomited in the priest's foot, in front o 500+ people. I was 10 yo. |
t3_4cto3p | relationships | Me [28 F] with my deceased friend's parents [?? M/F], my fiance [27/M] and I found a date but it's their son's birthday and I don't know if that's ok | A close friend of mine died when I was in college and it was terrible. I hadn't interacted much with his parents before he died, but my fiance and I are now close with them and visit every so often.
My fiance and I recently got engaged and have been struggling with wedding dates. We found an outdoor venue we love and a month that works best for us for various reasons (weather, timing, close family's plans). The only problem is the only date the venue has left is my friend's birthday. We are planning to invite his parents and would love for them to come but I'm not sure if that's appropriate. I've asked a couple other friends who have told me either not to worry about it or to consider a different date so I'm confused.
I'm leaning towards sending them a note that's basically like ""we're looking at this date, I know it's friend's birthday, and I don't know if you'll be able to come anyhow since you travel a lot but if you do come we want you to be comfortable, so we wanted to ask your feelings." But maybe that puts them on the spot and they wouldn't really be able to tell us if they were uncomfortable anyhow. What do you think is appropriate? | The best wedding date for us is on my deceased friend's birthday and we're inviting his parents. Should we send them a note asking if that's ok? Just keep the date, or find a different, less ideal one? |
t3_40ndg7 | legaladvice | Water Company wants me to pay bills for water I didn't use in a gutted house with no pipes. Pittsburgh (PA) | I bought a gutted house in August and I plan on rebuilding it this April. It basically just a shell only wood and walls and it's been with way for some time approximately 5 years. There is not even a water meter let alone pipes. Last month I got a bill for $230 from the water company and when I called them up they said it was for water usage and that they could see usage on it. I told them the condition of my house and that I have not use any water. They said they need to send someone to verify the condition of my house but first I needed to send them proof that I was the new owner of the house even know the Bill they sent was in my name. So I sent them a copy of the deed and waited to here back. Flash forward two weeks I get two more bills one form my house and one for my neighbors both in my name. I call them reexplained the issue and got them to send someone out. They went to the wrong house twice. But I finally met with the Plummer who verified there are no pipes and I'm not using water. Now the water company says I owe the $230 not from my usage but from unpaid water bills from previous owners and they want me to pay $3 a month for not using water. Is this legal? How can I be charged for previous owners bills and how can they charge me for not using water? | – Water Company wants to charge me for unpaid water bills from previous owners and they want me to pay $3 a month for NOT using water. Is this legal? |
t3_2qng7p | relationship_advice | [23/F] Still in love with my ex [22/M], but all my friends think I'm crazy? | Hello, quick background my ex and I were together for 2 years and then I went to college. We made the long distance work, but it took its toll and by the end the year we were struggling to cope with not having the freedom to see each other. I broke up with him, hoping that doing so I was salvaging any possible friendship/relationship that might be in the future. But If i'm being completely honest I was young and scared that when he too went to college he would cheat on me or meet someone else.
Its been a year or so, and I've got on with my life but I still think about him constantly, just wondering if on a day to day he's okay.
We still chat but very rarely, which I think has been good for us to get some space.
Since we broke up he's become more involved in drugs and slept around. But I don't blame him for it we're not together.
But all my friends thinks he has hit rock bottom since we broke up, and the majority try laughing with me about how I dodged a bullet.
I don't know what to do, I still love him. I can see what he's become and he's not the same man but I can't change how I feel.
The way I see it telling him how I feel is a lose-lose, he still loves me but we're different people now and it won't work or he doesn't feel the same and I'm heartbroken all over again. | in love with my ex, but scared telling him how I feel will end badly either way and the alternative is biting my tongue which is hard enough |
t3_3p864t | relationships | So I [18 M] think I'm trying to replace someone [17 F] by hooking up with other girls | x-post from /r/teenagers
Man, this is going to sound corny and narcissistic as fuck, so throwaway to try and make it less so, at least a little bit.
I can literally pick and choose almost any girl in my high school and she'll be head over heels for me in less than a week. Even most of the "popular" ones at one time at least tried to ask me out or start a convo on facebook or w/e.
But there is 'that one'. Guessing you already know where this is going.
That one god damn girl that makes me feel like a fat 12 year old again. We are actually good friends (let's call her 1). I was together with one of her best friends, who told me 1 might've had or still has a thing for me.
Yesterday night she saw me making out with this other chick at a party. Today my ex (that friend of hers) sent me 'that' text (you know, that 'hey stranger' type of text). Thing is, I don't even know if that matters, cause I don't know if 1 actually likes me or not. Or if it even matters because even I can see that I'm acting like I don't give a shit about her.
Why am I so fucking gutless when it comes to this one girl? How come that right now I feel bothered by the fact that 3 chicks are texting me and I can't concentrate on studying, but when it comes down to this one girl I couldn't muster up the courage to talk to her as more than friends, and everything I seem to be doing is just giving her reasons to never look at me that way?
Honestly, I don't even know if I'm looking for advice or just wanted to vent. | Too much of a pussy to actually try my luck with the first girl I've had feelings for (I think they're feelings at least) in about 4 years. What do? |
t3_2loc9g | relationships | I [22F] found the phone numbers of two prostitutes on my boyfriend's [26M] dresser. He keeps denying they are prostitutes, how do I proceed? | My boyfriend has lied about a few things in the past, so there's not exactly a lot of trust. Yesterday I found a random torn paper with the names "Nikki" and "Tori" scribbled on it, both with phone numbers. I googled both of the numbers only to find dozens of "Nikki" and "Tori"'s backpage, escort, and craigslist ads. There were even reviews from Johns who have used them in the past.
He has a temper, so I quietly coaxed him out of his apartment to a nearby restaurant for a beer just so I could confront him in public. He freaked out, said that they were just weed dealers his friend told him about, and went off on me for accusing him. A lot of ,"I'm a good looking guy, I don't need to pay for sex!" "how DARE you think so little of me!".
I tried to just end it yesterday but he literally would not let me... Just constant manipulation and fighting until I finally drove home.
I don't know if I'm letting him get to me, but I was wondering if I could get another opinion on this. Is there any way they *weren't* prostitutes? What are the chances of his two new "weed dealers" being escorts on the side? How do I end this once and for all? | Boyfriend had phone contacts for two prostitutes because I don't screw him enough. Says they're weed dealers. I want out but how. |
t3_23quqj | relationships | Me [28 M] with my girlfriend [28F] of 5 years, now I've got a crush on a girl from school [24F] | First of all, sorry if the grammar and syntax of the text is not perfect, english is not my native language.
I've been with my girlfriend since the last 5 years. I had a career in IT and just went back to school this year. I met some people at school and this good friend of mine now introduced me to this girl in march. This started smoothly, we were the three of us after classes chilling and having a couple of beers and you know, hanging out.
Then the girl invited me alone a couple of times, we had some food and some drinks. One time we got really wasted and nothing happened beside some longer hugs. At school she's making some physical contacts, like resting her hand on my shoulders and rubbing a little and I do kind of the same. Hugs when we leave, high fives where you hold the other hand a little after it. Basically, nothing much, but it makes me crazy.
I was studying for finals last week, so I had to open my books and we wrote some stuff down the day we were drunk together, I didnt quite remember we did this, but anyway, most of it were just drunkish foolisheness but I stumble to one sentence she wrote: I love you. Like I've said, I never remembered this until I opened my books to study and now I'm even more confused.
Now to talk about my relation with my girlfriend, everything is fine, that girl is amazing and I do not want to hurt her at all cost. Fact is, I mostly see her as my best friend now and this will hurt her if I tell her.
And this is probably the best relationship I could ever have asked with my actual girlfriend and I would be a fool to let that go, but you know how feelings work. And maybe it's supposed to be that way, a good relationship is being with your best friend forever, I don't know. And the feeling of being best friend with her started before I met the other girl.
So hopefully this post kind of make sense. | I've got the hots for some girl, I see my girlfriend as my bestfriend. How am I supposed to sort this situation without hurting my girlfriend ? |
t3_1a0urz | relationships | My (22F) ex-bf (23M) might be logging on my Facebook | We have had a relationship for 5 years and have been living together, but we broke up about 4 months ago with quite a huge fight because of some reasons.
We still have been living together though because neither of us were able to afford another apartment for a while. We have our separate rooms and for a long time we've actually barely seen each others or talked, but recently we have just become like "friends" again.
When I was checking my security section in the Facebook I noticed unusual login times, using Google Chrome. I use Firefox. He was the only one who knew my password, but it was a long time ago when I told him so I didn't even think about changing my password when we broke up.
I really don't know how to react to this, he has been all the time acting throughout our relationship like "People should have boundaries and privacy, don't check my mails, don't check my Facebook, don't check my phone ever." because once I looked at his messages on his phone.
Should I even mention this, or just change my password and forget about it? I really don't know how to react just when we were about to be friends again... | My ex boyfriend has been logging in my Facebook, what should I do, should I mention him that I found out what he was doing? |
t3_41m8db | relationships | I [29M] am scared to propose to my [30F] because I am chasing a lost dream of "true love" | So I am currently with an AMAZING girl, we have been together for 2 years and as we're getting older (body clock etc) the pressure is building to tie the knot and start a family.
First off, I love this woman, and I have never felt more comfortable in the presence of another person. We gel really well (most of the time) and overall have a great relationship. (The usual bumps along the way).
The problem I have is that when I was 18 (yes a decade ago) I fell madly in love with a girl, who I spent about 2 years with but we had to end it because she had bi-polar disorder and her love for me was on/off rapidly and neither of us could deal with that. The problem is that I have never stopped loving her, and the feeling I felt for her are like nothing I have felt since.
I never got the same butterfly's with my current partner... I never felt like I want to scream from the top of my lungs "IM IN LOVE! IM GOING TO MARRY THIS GIRL". Which is literally what I did when I met my "first love".
I was single for many years between the two, searching for that same feeling. It never came, and I dated 100+ women over the time (mainly just 1 or 2 dates).
Right now I feel like I want to marry my current SO, but I know I don't have the feelings that I used to for someone else. I wonder to myself if that's wrong? Should I instead be leaving her to try and find those butterflies, that "true love"? Or should I stop chasing an unrealistic pipe dream and realise that I am with someone amazing who I can spend the rest of my life with | is my old "true love" a lost dream and should I settle for my amazing girlfriend. Or should I leave her and go back on the hunt for those butterflies |
t3_z6q7r | relationship_advice | [15/M] Needs help breaking up with her [15/F], details followed. | I've never cared for high school relationships, but I was dragged into this one. I was her friend before, but she liked me, almost to the point of obsession. I didn't know about it until last summer. I met with her, I lied, and said I couldn't be in a relationship, because of my parents, and I thought I let her down easy, but then she asked me if I like her. I hate myself for saying it, but I said yes, and hoped the whole thing would die. I walk her home once, and she tells me we're dating. I was discombobulated, we hugged. Another action I regret.
School starts, and I realize that she is obsessive, and I need to get away, so I decide to break up with her on friday, but I accidentally kiss her, while she hugs me, and I adjust my backpack. It was brief, bue she took it sincerely, and just runs off. I need to handle this delicately, but I have't any idea how. | Stuck in a relationship with a clingy girl, because of increasingly poor decisions made on my part. I kissed her, and I don't know how to break it off. |
t3_tf2h2 | BreakUps | SO and I broke up after 1.5 years. I need a 3rd party perspective | I'm 27m she is 24f. I fell in love with this girl so hard and we moved in together after about a year of dating.
I knew she wanted kids eventually and I've always been open/undecided about kids, but i figured I had plenty of time to get to the point of feeling right about it.
After about 3 months of living together she started saying she wanted to have a kid by next year and wanted to go to the doctor to get things figured out. I told her I was not ready to have kids and that I thought she should probably finish school and travel with me a bit before getting tied down with a kid. She claims she has issues getting pregnant and doesnt want to wait till later in life to start having kids.
This argument started coming up basically everytime we had "i love you" moments. And it came to a point where I said "if you want to have a kid in the next year then we're going to have to break up".
Its not that I never wanted kids ever.. I just wanted to make sure financially we would be OK and I also wanted to enjoy our relationship before bringing kids into the picture.
Now I'm depressed, lost, broken and tore up. We've been broken up for about a month and shes completely moved out of my house to live with a friend. I can't help but think ive made a mistake by letting her go. Reddit please tell me I'm going to be ok. I feel as though my life has absolutely no point now. It feels like I'll never find someone like her again. We got along so well on so many other issues, but I feel like she just didn't give me enough time. | Girlfriend wanted kids immediately, i wanted to wait. Now I need to know that my life isn't over that it was justifiable to break up with someone you love very much simply because they wanted kids sooner than you did. |
t3_3y0w34 | relationships | I [19M] am paranoid that my crush [19F] is losing interest in me. | Recently I started talking to my crush by asking her on a date. We talked for 5 days prior to going on the date. In those 5 days we became comfortable with each other and started to flirt a little bit. The night after the date had ended we were flirting non-stop and things seemed to be looking up.
A couple days after the date however, she began working a lot and was becoming very tired which I understood but she also began to become short answered in her texts which threw me off a bit because she usually texted me paragraphs.
We also planned to meet up and do some Christmas shopping together, which she was excited about, but after a tiring day at work she asked to reschedule but that night she went out with a friend and cousin. It didn't really bother me because I figured that shopping was more exerting than just driving around with a cousin and a friend but I still can't shake the thought she just didn't want to spend time with me.
She's become less flirty as well, when I brought up the fact that she was being short answered she just said she was tired which I kinda figured, but it's not like she's going to bed early so it makes me wonder constantly.
Just today she went out and did Christmas shopping without me so I don't know if she's losing interest already or not. It may sound like I'm super clingy but really I'm just worried that maybe I did something wrong which bothers me a whole lot more. | My crush and I were super flirty and "interested" with each other. Recently she's been working a lot and I can't tell if she's losing interest in me or if she is just tired/not in the mood. |
t3_3c2iko | relationships | Don't know how to address our background differences. Me [28M] with my GF [27F] | I grew up on food stamps to immigrant parents who worked in restaurants as a dishwasher and waiter. I grew up in the projects in Brooklyn -- the one Jay Z rapped about being a shitty place to live. Four people in a 1 bedroom apartment.
My girlfriend of one year grew up in an affluent town in Connecticut to well off parents in a 8 bedroom house and hung out at the country club.
I haven't met her parents yet, and she hasn't met mine.
I am not ashamed of where I am from. I am just afraid that we won't fit into the place where we grew up. I want to invite her over to meet my parents and all that jazz, but it's still a pretty shitty neighborhood even today. I'm 99% sure bringing a beautiful blonde to the hood will just mean she'll get harassed and I don't want her to be uncomfortable.
On the flip side, I'm afraid of meeting her parents because she tells me her ex boyfriends used to always play golf with her father at the country club and socialized there. I don't know the first thing about golf. I grew up on street ball and rec centers. I don't know how to behave at a fancy dinner table. I'm afraid of making a fool out of myself, especially in what already is a stressful meeting of parents. I'm just afraid I won't live up to what they're used to. | i grew up poor. girlfriend grew up rich. i'm afraid she'd be uncomfortable visiting my home, and i, hers. |
t3_22fs7l | weddingplanning | Destination Wedding Issues | My FW and I got engaged on 3/30 and have been wanting to do a destination wedding since we started seriously talking about getting married. When we first mentioned it to our families, everyone was very excited to go to Cancun and just kept on talking how much fun it was going to be. Cost is not an issue as my family loves Cancun and has been plotting when to go next and we have offered to help pay for her family if they need any help. After a few days a few issues have materialized:
1. My mother has insisted that we get married by the church. This was not really a big deal as we were going to get married at the courthouse a few months earlier so her grandparents could attend since they can't travel. We figured this would be a small affair of 20 or so people and we would take everyone out to dinner afterwards. Her parents actually quickly offered to pay for this portion of the wedding.
2. An aunt of mine has mentioned that she doesn't think it's fair if we don't invite the entire family to the initial ceremony and dinner. Being first generation Mexican-American this means aunts, uncles, cousins, cousin's children, and family friends that are considered 'family'. At MINIMUM, this would be 50 people from my side alone. My brother's wedding had 260 people, so to my family 100 people is a 'small wedding'. In contrast, my FW's brother had 110 people at his wedding and that was a good turnout! However, my family has also stated they will foot the bill for this bigger ceremony and dinner.
3. After hearing all this, my FW and I are now thinking if we go along with all these plans, is there even a point in having a destination wedding? Why would anyone want to come? It's weird because my family was really excited about Cancun, but I guess it's going to just become a family vacation with no ceremony. | Got engaged a week ago, family was excited for a DW but has expressed that they want almost a full wedding/dinner reception and will pay for it. Is there even a point in trying to have a DW? |
t3_1onall | relationships | I[29F] want a wedding but my fiance [27M] doesn't. Not sure how to compromise on this one. | My fiance and I have been together for over 3 years and engaged for 2 months. We're on the same page about getting married but can't agree on how to do it. My fiance suffers from social anxiety and generally hates being the center of attention. His complicated relationship with most of his family also seems to be driving his fear of a wedding. He has conflicting feelings about whether he wants them there and seems to lean toward not inviting them most of the time.
He has suggested that we elope and do something just the two of us. Eloping means he gets to avoid the familial drama that would ensue if we had a wedding and didn't invite his family. It also keeps him out of the spotlight. I'm not looking for a traditional wedding and am happy to keep it small, especially if it means my fiancee is more comfortable and actually able to enjoy the event.
At the same time, I desperately want my family to be there. They're incredibly important to me and I couldn't imagine embarking on this stage of my life without them there to support and celebrate us. Eloping would probably devastate my parents. We're close and I'm an only child so this is their one shot with the whole wedding thing. He understands but is still pressing for it to be just the two of us.
Anyone out there have a similar issue with their partner? I'd appreciate any advice. | Fiance wants to elope (just the two of us) but I want my family at our wedding. I want to consider my partner but I'm really not sure how to have a wedding that works for both of us. |
t3_2d3854 | cats | How to introduce a kitten to a resident, indoor/outdoor cat? | I'm not sure if I'm supposed to post questions here or in another subreddit, so I apologize if this is incorrect placing.
Earlier this week, I adopted an eight week old kitten to bring home. I have a resident cat whom is 17 months old. For the first two days, I allowed the kitten (Ahri) to be out and about, but realized that it was stressing out my resident cat (Toulouse) when he was inside. He stopped coming inside as much and also attempted "mounting" the kitten (getting on her back and biting her neck), I assume for dominance.
After that, I decided to switch methods of introducing them. I put Ahri in the bathroom with her food, water, litter, bedding, and toys. I go in and play with her, but she meows frequently.
I was curious to whether it was okay for her to be inside when Toulouse is outside. Also, any suggestions to whether there are better methods or tools to getting them to get along. | Introducing new kitten to resident, indoor/outdoor cat. Keeping kitten in one room. Can kitten be out in the house while resident cat is outside? |
t3_3u02jh | relationship_advice | Need advice on how to talk to My [M25] ex [F25] after 5 years. | Hey everyone. A little back story, I divorced my wife a 3 months ago for cheating on me. Before my wife, I dated my ex, whom I'm asking about. She was a really great girl and we had a great relationship. She loved my family, I loved hers, but I was immature and my relationship with my mother was volatile at the time. This was 5 years ago. I have since grown up and mature a ton since then. Back when I kicked my wife out, I went on vacation with my mother and sister to get away. They told me I really messed up with my ex, she was the one that got away. That got me thinking. I haven't spoken or seen her since the break up, 5 years ago. It was a clean break up, I deserved it for my immaturity and we were just in different times in our lives. So last night, I messaged her on Facebook and left her a long, heartfelt apology to which I didn't expect her to reply to. To my surprise, she did and she was glad to hear I was doing well and that I am now very close to all my family especially my mother. She said she was happy I messaged her and that she thinks ks about me from time to time. She even apologized for her immaturity and how she handled our breakup, to which I told her she did nothing wrong. Well, we small talked for a bit and I asked her to grab drinks with me and catch up, to which she was thrilled and really wanted to. So, that's that, we are meeting for drinks next week due to our crazy holiday schedule this week. Well, during our small talk, it looks like she fell asleep on me and hasn't replied back. I'm asking for advice on how to proceed from here. She definitely is interested in me from what I gathered but I've been out of the game for 3 years. What do I do? Do I wait for her to strike up a conversation or do I do it? I have no idea. Thanks for help in advance. | I contacted my ex who is a great woman to apologize for my stupidity, she is interested in me, and I don't know how to make small talk |
t3_cw060 | AskReddit | Dear Reddit of UK, I am looking for a family friend in the UK but I don't have a lot of information about her. Would you be so kind to help me? :) | So here are the facts: My parents came to the United States after escaping the genocidal warfare in Cambodia. However, before coming here they were refugees in a refugee camp in Thailand called Kao-I-Dang. While there, they met Jan McCann who was the camp's Dentist from 1983-1984. My father also worked as her assistant. We have three pictures of, Jan Mccann is the white women in the pictures.
Piture #1:
Picture #2:
Picture #3:
We know that she worked for the Catholic Relief Services and worked the Thailand Program. We also know that she opened a dental clinic in England but not in London. We last heard from her in 1988.
The reason we're looking for her is because she sponsored my parents to come to the United States. She wrote a letter of rec that helped my parents get their Visas. We just want to track her down and thank her for all of her help and to also update her on our status. | Parents are looking for a dentist in a Thailand Refugee camp who sponsored them to the USA, they just want to reconnect with her. Probably living in UK. |
t3_3w9sop | dating_advice | I really like her but what should I do first | So long story short I have been seeing this girl for a couple of weeks now. She's a friend of friend. We have been hanging out quite a bit. Getting some coffee walking around talking and going to dinner. I have asked her to join me in many activities in the next few days such as going to my jobs Christmas party, and she said Yes. We have a lot in common and I really enjoy her company but I always found myself being very shy and I always over think things and let little things get to my head. This is my first real move into the "dating scene"
I have talked to many people and have gotten many opinions. Should I be showing signs of affection first such as a kiss on the cheek and holding hands or should I say that I like her and then show signs of affection. One reason I am hesitant is that she recently broke up with someone.
I would like to see some outside opinions and as well if I should be showing signs of affection now how are some ways I can initiate them. I really like her and don't want to lose the opportunity as I have in the past. | should I show signs of affection before or after I say I like her, and how do I go about showing these signs. |
t3_43aiqr | jobs | Should I go back to my old job? | About 2 months ago, I got a job offering me 15k in additional salary and a benefits package. At the time I wasn't looking for a new job, but someone had recommended me and I was hired on the spot. The new company seemed disorganized, hectic, and poorly managed, but where I was working also had its pitfalls. Mainly, it was an entirely Korean company and at times extremely racist. I had my ups and downs with them due to this, but was mildly content.
Despite my initial reservations, I accepted the position. I left my old company on good terms. My replacement was a coworker who I managed and became a close friend of mine.
So fast forward to two months later. I am absolutely miserable. My new position is 3x the work I had been previously doing. (I was hired as a brand manager - but I am doing photoshoots, retouching, social media, graphic design, seo, product uploads, pr/marketing, art direction, and random things like designing a tradeshow booth and creating an affiliate program.) In order to meet deadlines I have been working on my own time, at night and on weekends. I also have to work with a disney child star, who is quite frankly really frustrating. Somedays, I feel like I am becoming psychotic.
My old boss told me to call her and asked if I wanted my old job back. I would take a 5k salary cut, and lose all the benefits I have now. (Health, Dental, Vision, PTO) Side note I am 25, so I can have one more year of coverage on my parents health care plan. This is important to me as I have an auto immune disorder.
So I guess, I'm trying to decide between which is the lesser evil? | Should I stay at my really stressful job with benefits, or take a 5k pay cut lose my benefits for a job that is less stressful but has a really uncomfortable racist & cult-like work culture. |
t3_1gcumk | relationships | My gf [25f] at a bachelorette party. Feels weird. | Hi everyone. My gf [25f] of one year is at a bachelorette party in Miami. I get updates from her every now and then, and they all seem to be having a great time so far, except...last night, they met up with a bachelor party, and they're now spending the weekend together, planning events and going out and such. It just so happens that there are 6 guys and 6 girls, kinda matching up the parties together.
I trust my girlfriend, I know she wouldn't betray me or do anything that would break my trust, but I can't help feel that little "uh oh" in the back of my head when she said, "Yeah, we met up with a bachelor party down here, they seem chill, so we're going to hang out with them all weekend."
Just wanted to get that off my chest. Thanks. | gf [25f] of 1 year is at a bachelorette party. They met up with a bachelor party and are now joining parties. Can't help but feel weird. |
t3_2q2ljh | relationships | My parents (48 M+F) divorced, and I (F22) was given jewelry from their marriage. | Alright, here goes.
My parents' marriage came to an abrupt halt over 2 years ago. Dad was getting erotic massages (this is relevant later) and got a porn addiction, dead bedroom, Mum had enough and found someone else, Dad found out. Shit hits the fan, etc.
I now live with my mum and stepfather, brother and stepbrother. A couple of months ago, Mum approached me with some jewelry boxes and asked if I wanted them, since she didn't want them anymore.
She explained to me that he would suddenly give jewelry to cover up the guilt he felt about getting a massage. I opened up the boxes and they're from a diamond store. A ring, bracelet, and necklace. Mum told me it's all worth about $5000, and if I didn't take it, she'd throw it away.
They've been sitting in my drawer, and I feel torn. I can't wear it, not after knowing what they were bought for. I'm considering selling them, but the idea of taking all the money from it doesn't sit right with me, either.
What the hell do I do with it? Do I talk to Mum and let her know my intentions? If I sell it, do I split the money, or am I okay taking it all? | Parents divorced, Mum gave me the jewelry Dad gave her when he felt guilty after getting erotic massages. Thinking of selling it, but feeling torn. What should I do? |
t3_hy5fe | relationships | Girlfriend got drunk, got angry, and nearly broke her hearing-aids so I poored out all the alcohol. Did I over react? | My girlfriend (25) is going through a hard time right now. Her very religious and abusive parents disowned her when she moved out of their house and into mine last month. Yesterday they told her we couldn't go to her sister's college graduation party at their house. To help her feel better we stayed out of the house all day. We went to lunch, bowling, for ice cream, to a movie, and for dinner, but nothing improved her mood. This afternoon she decided to start drinking to feel better.
She has a tendency to drink too much so we agreed I would be the only person to pour and that I would stay sober. After five ounces I cut her off. She started offering sexual favors for more and when I refused she got angry. She started hearing some beeping I wasn't, assumed it was her hearing aids, and threw one of them onto the table. We're broke college students, hearing aids are fragile, and they cost on average 3,502 USD to replace. When she angrily went for even more vodka I poured everything we had in the house out: her vodka, my tequila, and all of the beer.
Did I overreact? | Girlfriend got drunk, got angry, and nearly broke her hearing-aids so I poured out all the alcohol. Did I over react? |
t3_4xe2u5 | relationships | Me[36M] with my daughter [13F]. She has no desire to try sport and /or activities. Should I force activities on my child? | Should I force activities on my child?
I'm worry she going to be just like me with no social skills.
She try playing baseball for one summer and quit, she did cross-country in school last year and quit. She play the clarinet and quit. She has a good singing voice. but she does her best not-to-get pick for solo when participating in music program's. She a honor student and takes her grades very seriously. BUT!! I want her to participate and socials more. I want her to compete and have motivation to do more.
We had a big fight last night regarding her motivation to do more. She kept saying, the other girls are better then her, that she look's stupid when she runs, that she not good at sport..etc Then she told me she was happy and content with staying home and doing noting.
This broke my heart. I don't want her to have problem socializing and missing out an competing with a group of people. I don"t want her to be like me. I have big socializing issue. I don't want her to be like me.
She on the phone with her friends all the time, playing video game with them online, watching YouTube videos and making video with her friends, she reads a lot as well..etc If we let her, she would not leave the house. Her two best friends are both honor student and have 2 or 3 activities after school or during the summer. So why can my daughter do the same?
She a good kid and very smart. I want her to be more social and have other skills in life. I want her to be passionate about things that she loves. I'm scare is all my fault, I'm a big nerd, played video game, building computers, reading comic books, crazy Star Wars fan..etc does thing cause me to be antisocial and have no socials skills. I don't want her to be like me. | Worry that my 13 year old daughter will be just like me and have no social skill and no motivation to do more for her future. |
t3_22lus1 | relationships | Me [26 M] with my GF [22 F] 2 years, I feel like I am being a shitty person about her skin and I want to stop myself | Hello,
I will try to be concise. I have been with my girlfriend for two years. When we met she had two acne scars. I didn't really notice either of them. Two years later her cheeks and forehead are ravaged by scars.
I have tried (and, by her generous recollection, succeeded but I'll get to that) to make her feel beautiful and sexy and desired throughout this time. In my own heart I feel much less physically attracted to her than before, but acne is treatable and I feel I owe it to her to give her my maximum support until she has defeated it.
And that's the thing -- it's not like these scars have formed due to apathy. She spends time and money and effort every day on treating her skin but the breakouts and scars still come. I have tried to pitch in -- finding her favorite skin cream that was only available in Australia, mail-ordering Aztec clay (which she really likes), and trying to stay out of the way. But sometimes I cannot and I prattle on about dermatology a bit too long and she gets annoyed. Of course she does, I mean, it's her own skin, she knows what's going on, she has to live with it. She doesn't need me bringing double her attention to it.
As my anxiety about her skin grows, so does my feeling that I don't deserve her. She is too smart and too patient and too wonderful to put up with my selfishness -- but she persists. She stays with me. Sometimes I imagine myself being in a relationship with someone who brings up how I need to fix this or that on my body and it makes me feel so ugly and self-conscious in that moment and I realize that I'm doing it to the woman I love.
I really don't know what my question is -- I just needed to share with someone how upset I am with myself. I wish she had better skin, sure, but I think more meaningfully I wish it just didn't bother me so much. It shouldn't. She deserves better than that. | My girlfriend's acne scars have been getting progressively worse and I feel that my response to this has been petty and unfair to her and overall unacceptable. |
t3_35yzkn | tifu | TIFU by teaching stage combat and hitting my head against the wall. | This actually happened yesterday, so I'm cheating a little, but I just now discovered this subreddit, so bear with me.
So I teach a high school advanced theatre class and this week I'm teaching them about stage combat. I learned the basics in college and I thought the kids would have some fun fake hitting each other. Well, we go through punching, kicking, etc, and we get to more complicated stuff like pretending to hit a wall.
I go to demonstrate this against the door frame of a closet. The trick is to hit your foot against the surface to make the sound while throwing your head forward toward the wall but not actually hitting it... except I wasn't paying attention to how close I was to the wall while I was explaining. I turn around quickly to throw my head forward and BAM- I actually smacked my forehead against it. The kids couldn't figure out at first whether I was just really good at faking it or if I actually hit myself. But they found out once I stood there dazed for a few seconds and started holding my head. Now I have a lump.
I went to the doctor though just in case and I do not have a concussion, so that's good... | While demonstrating how to pretend to hit your head against the wall in stage combat, I actually hit my head on the wall. |
t3_31l1hb | relationships | How much time is enough for a break? Me [20/M] and her [17/F] | A few facts:
* We have been talking since December through facebook
* She lives on my hometown, 500km away of where I am right now
* We met up twice in February, and in one of these dates we made out for a long time and almost had sex
* She has issues with her ex and he keeps stalking her and sending letters, sending friend requests to the people that comment on her photos and etc
* We have never had a "bad time" together, but last saturday we had a discussion, then we forgave each other, and then again on monday we fought again and she called me an idiot and told me to go fuck myself
* I'm pissed at her because she's not realizing I'm going through a bad time in my life right now and didn't consider that at all when I said something she didn't like
* She also only came to tell me why she got so mad on the day after, but it was after me saying fuck you and goodbye
* We used to talk **A LOT**. Like starting the conversation at 11pm or 1am and going all the way to 6~7am nonstop. I loved that and miss that.
* We haven't talked since Tuesday (the last messages were she saying why she got so mad and repeating what I said in the exact words) because I'm giving our 'friendship' an unofficial break
* I miss her and I've started dreaming with her because of that
The question is: how much time is enough for a break? A week? Two weeks? Five days?
I want her to kinda miss me, realize what she did wrong, and only when we can get back to talking again. She needs to stop being that spoiled brat that gets everything she wants because everyone wants her. | had a fight with a friend, am giving a break but also am missing her. Want her to learn from her mistake, but am wondering how much time is enough for that break. |
t3_3z8xnk | relationships | My first love [f19] and I [m20] moved apart after the summer and slowly lost contact. Now she's asking me to stay away and telling me her love won't come back. | We met on tinder and were both abroad for the summer. We had a magical month together, neither of us would change anything about it. Unfortunately we had to go back to England (her) and the US (me) for college. I promised her I'm moving back to Europe in two years, and that is still certain. We stayed in contact and love for several months. I didn't expect us to have a real long distance relationship, but I wanted her to visit over the holidays.
Unfortunately, she slowly lost interest in this and told me she doesn't love me and it will never come back a month ago. Now she wants us to stay apart and stop talking. She told me maybe we could meet someday and figure things out, but I want to know I'll see her again. I don't mind if she sees someone else, but I want her to give me an opportunity someday. We're both undervalued by others and have tremendous chemistry and understanding. I don't think we'll ever be in such a caring, romantic relationship with anyone else. I know there's something there but the distance drove us apart.
We're going to talk this week since she's at home and I think she'll feel differently in this setting. I want to tell her she means the world to me, and I've been depressed lately. I want to see her when she's single and I have the opportunity to go back this summer. I just want her to give it a shot when she's single. I don't want her to disappear and get married... Is there anything else/different I can say? I love her as much as I'll ever love anyone. | She got tired of the distance and now doesn't want to see me again. What can I say to get her back someday? |
t3_qvdip | AskReddit | Reddit, what's your biggest 'I told you so' moment? | I'll start with the story of my spider bite.
A year ago I got bitten by an unknown spider which left a huge red swelling bump on the underside of my left arm. I went home and showed my dad it and he just shrugged me off and said it'd be fine.
The next day it was twice the size and itched like hell, but again, my dad still refused to take me to a doctor. I told him I probably need medical attention and he told me I don't know shit.
The day after, not only was it still a pulsing lump of itchiness on my arm, it also had a pink trail leading from it up my arm to my shoulder/chest, along with me feeling clammy and sweaty all over with a fever. I begged my dad to take me to a doctor until he finally gave in, and he drove me to the doctors while telling me how it's probably nothing.
We get to the doctor's office and as soon as the doctor saw my arm he looked at my dad and told him that the pink trail leading up my arm was a bacteria infection making it's way up my lymphatic system (correct me if I'm wrong) and I would've had to be in hospital on a drip the next day. He prescribed some really strong anti-biotics to me and told my dad to never leave something like that to the last minute again. | I got bitten by a spider, dad said it was nothing, left it for three days until I begged him to take me to a doctor, doctor said I would've had to be on a drip in hospital the next day. |
t3_18roks | AskReddit | Whats the dumbest thing you have ever done while high on SOMETHING. | Mine was in the 10th grade. My friends and I had just started experimenting with acid and shrooms. I was working at Taco Bell with my friends mom as the manager and had stayed the night at his place. We had dropped a hit before I remembered I had to go in that day.
So for some reason everyone had left and I was chilling in the house not feeling anything, the next thing I know I come to and have been staring at the ceiling fan for over an hour. It was at this point I realized I had to be at work in 10 minutes and was in no condition to go.
So I freak out and go to my car to figure out a way to make it so I have an excuse for not going to work. So I get the bright idea to cut the battery cable. So I cut the battery cable, and then call in and explain that I cant come in because my car wont start. 10 guy hard core. | Dropped a hit of acid, starred at a fan for an hour, cut the battery cable to my car so I had an excuse for not going to work. |
t3_3hbn5j | relationship_advice | I'm (20F) miserable where I am with (21M). And I'm completely lost at what to do. Please help me r/relationship_advice | Me 20F and 21M have been together for a little over a year now. About three months ago we moved in together, seeing as it was a convenience that we go to the same college. At the time, I was very reluctant about living with him, because we had been a little rocky at the time. But after many years, and a lot of convincing from him (aka "why would you let me down like this" "you know this will really hurt our relationship if you don't go through with it") I decided to say fuck it and move in with him and his friends. Things were fine but rocky at first, and I chalked it up to us getting used to being with each other all the time. But as the months go by I find myself more and more miserable. We fight very often (probably every day) and I find myself having to just listen to what he's saying and accepting it (which it's always like this. I sometimes think that it could be emotional manipulation, but he tells me that it's literally just me and he'd never do it intentionally). Even though he tells me it's just my attitude and that I'm always cranky, part of me feels like I have the right to feel like I do sometimes. Now, after a huge fight, I am sitting on the couch after claiming that I'm going to leave, contemplating our relationship... I really need your advice r/relationship_advice I'm stuck in this house, and I don't know whether to "stick it out" or just end things. | possible emotionally manipulative boyfriend. I feel stuck in my own home, maybe wanting to break up.. But is always coaxed back in. |
t3_54hqot | relationships | My [26M] girlfriend [24F] is planning on celebrating her birthday during my best friend's [25F] birthday weekend. | I have been dating my girlfriend, "Shannon," for two years now. It just so happens that her birthday is on the same week as "Veronica," my best friend. Shannon's birthday falls on a Tuesday this year and she wants us to go on a mini trip during the weekend of Veronica's actual birthday.
Both Shannon and Veronica are the type of people who are really into celebrating their birthdays. I know Shannon wants it to be just us and her family, and I know Veronica is planning on renting an AirBnb that entire weekend to party it up with all of our closest friends.
Last year, Shannon celebrated her birthday the weekend prior to her actual birthday, so I was able to spend time with her and then attend Veronica's birthday get-together the next weekend. I'm not entirely sure why Shannon decided to switch it up this year and plan a getaway during Veronica's birthday; part of me thinks she's curious to see what I would do or say. I know she could easily do the same thing as she did last year.
Some other details: Yes, Shannon and Veronica have met. We've all hung out a couple of times and they get along fairly well. It's out in the open that Veronica and I have never had any romantic history.
I guess what I'm wondering is, how do I go about this situation without hurting any feelings? | Girlfriend and best friend are celebrating their birthdays at the same time. I don't want to let anyone down. |
t3_3dyflo | relationships | My SO [22M] and I [22 F] have different expections regarding intimacy and even though I've talked to him about it, nothing has changed. | My SO of 8 months and I recently moved to another state and, for financial reasons, got a house with a few roommates. We have sex once or a twice a week but I need more than that. I have expressed my desire to be intimate more frequently and asked him to try going down on me but every time we talk about it he tells me that he only had sex with his ex once a week and that she didn't like oral. I asked him if we could have sex more frequently and he said he needs three or four days to recharge.
I've tried everything I can think of. I've asked what he's into, if he wants me to buy lingerie, what turns him on and I get very little in response. I can understand not wanting to have sex every day but he won't even do other stuff.
It's getting to the point where it's all I can think about. I find myself mentally keeping track of the days and waiting. Whenever I try to initiate I get rejected and it's making me depressed. I feel like he's not attracted to me.
I guess my question is what should I do? I've been thinking about asking him if we can have an open relationship where I can sleep with women on the side, but I would rather just have him. | My SO has a lower libido than me but won't compromise or give me any real info. Not sure what to do next! |
t3_2kbvj6 | AskReddit | Reddit, why do you think there are several prominent liberal comedians, but no conservative ones? | It seems like one advantage the Democratic party has in attracting younger people is the existence of popular programs like The Daily Show, Colbert Report, Jon Oliver's show, or Bill Maher's, all of which combine an entertaining comedic personality with political commentary. Young people enjoy them for the laughs, and will probably start to have more awareness of political issues if they didn't already. Liberals who already have a political stance also enjoy them because they make them laugh while also presenting arguments they often agree with.
Why, then, do there seem to be no equivalents from the other side of the political spectrum in America? | Is there a cultural (or political, or demographic) explanation for the popularity of comedic political commentary between the Right and Left? |
t3_1kovoz | relationships | Me [27/M] with my Ex-GF [25/F] 9 months, Broken up for 4 months, question about moving on. | Posted my full story a few weeks ago. I appreciate the feedback I received from that.
I'm reading Susan Anderson's "The Journey from Abandonment to Healing." This book is amazing, and for the first time since my breakup, I feel validated and that things are making sense. However, this post is not about the book. I only mention it to say that I am beginning to feel better.
In spite of the heeling that has taken place, I still feel like my Ex and I are great for each other. The problem is, she so very clearly does not or we would still be together. In fact, she has moved on already and is dating another person.
So my question is, what do I do now? Getting back together is not really an option for her at this point (seeing that she's dating someone else), and she doesn't think we are a match. What do I do with my feelings that make me feel like we are a match and that I still want to be with her? They are holding me back from moving on, and also causing more pain because seeing her move on (and disinterested in me) with someone else is really hurtful to me, even though I accept that she is her own person and has the right to make her own choices that make her happy.
Anyone out there have comments or advice from similar experiences where the ex moved on and you couldn't because you still felt like you were a good match? I mean, I can't make myself think we aren't compatible using made up things, can I? | She's moved on. I haven't because I still think we are a good match, and I can't think of a reason why we aren't a good match. |
t3_4ncuh9 | relationships | My [23 F] abusive ex [24 M] from sevenish years ago is about to confess his undying love for me. I'm happily engaged to a great man [27 M]. What should I say? | I haven't spoken to my ex in five years, and we broke up and last saw each other in person seven years ago. It ended poorly and he would leave abusive notes on my car and threaten to kill himself in front of me, accuse me of blowing every guy in school, whisper threats to guys I just spoke to, etc. I've forgiven him and moved way on, but I haven't forgotten. It seems like he has.
He recently messaged me and we had some catching up conversation, nothing big, then he drops a huge hint that he's about to confess his undying love for me. I might be wrong, but I'm about 99% sure I'm not.
I am not at all interested. I'm currently engaged to an amazing man, and my ex definitely knows this. If he does say he loves me, what should I say to him? I want to be mature and assertive, but not mean. There's a big part of me that wants to blow up at him, but I know that isn't mature and won't solve anything. I'm also still somewhat scared of him/nervous about his reaction to rejection. | Abusive ex is going to tell me he loves me despite not being in touch for seven years. I'm not interested. What should I say to him that is assertive, but kind? |
t3_1gi5wh | relationships | I [19M] need help on how to tell her [42F] that I'm no longer interested without sounding like a dick. | Did that 23 year age difference catch your eye? I bet it did. Well, it's true, I unknowingly have gained the affection of a woman more than twice my age.
Back story: She came into my work one day and we chatted for awhile, had a few laughs and connected fairly well. I assumed she was in her early 30s, maybe even late 20s and that didn't particularly bother me, I've been involved with women 10ish years older than me before. We both realized we had a mutual passion in World of Warcraft. In the space of a couple of weeks we had leveled characters together on the same server, joined the same guild and genuinely had a bit of fun. We used skype when we played and she never missed an opportunity to say my voice was sexy or call me cute. I thought it was a little weird for a woman of her age to be pining for someone as young as I am this quickly, but okay, I went with it. If it didn't bother her, then why should it bother me?
Well now it does bother me, I have not only found out that she is more than twice my age, but that she is also divorced and has three kids living with her. Woooooooaaaaahhhhh, call me shallow or whatever you like but that's way too much for me. She had talked about forming a relationship with me a few times, but I kind of avoided it because I'm moving about 1,000 miles away this fall for college (and she knows that).
I just... Don't know how to let her down. She genuinely likes me and I feel really bad, because no matter what I say it is obvious the age & kid situation is the reason I'm not letting things go further. I'm also a little scared to be honest. I feel like a 42 year old woman who falls for a 19 year old in the space of a few weeks might have a little bit of the crazy in her and I don't know how she'll react. Any advice is welcome.
Also she has my battlenet name, cellphone number and e-mail address so avoiding her isn't an option. | woman more than twice my age fell for me, has 3 kids and is divorced, want to end things with her without sounding like a complete dick or her going batshit crazy. |
t3_195xea | loseit | Skinny best friend is killing my motivation... | I am eating around 1200 calories every day.
Those calories are mostly fruit and vegetables.
I am seeing the same number on the scale every day. 85. 85. 85. 85. (187lb).
My new shirts came in the mail. They're the largest size I can get - XXL - and they don't fit me.
I put on a pair of tights this morning and they split open. Tights are (or *were*) all that will fit me.
...and then my best friend, who is absolutely tiny, tells me she's eating TWO burgers from McDonalds for breakfast. It's almost 6000 calories for breakfast alone.
I love her and I know she has her own battles with weight - she wants to put on weight and struggles with it... but the urge I get to poke her in the eye when she says she's eating two burgers like it's nothing is unbelievable.
I'm doing all I can to lose weight with no success and when I see her eating anything she wants without consequences it kills my motivation. I feel like... I'm not seeing any benefit to changing my lifestyle, so why am I even bothering?
**For clarity/background:** I'm around 5'1, 85kg (187lbs) and it's day 13 of what is probably the hundredth weight loss attempt. I know it's technically early days... but it still sucks. I'm doing what I'm supposed to do and the weight just will. not. come. off. What's to say I don't do this for another two weeks and still make no progress? | I'm cutting back calories, choosing better food, exercising and seeing no progress while my skinny best friend inhales 6000 calories for breakfast. Why bother trying? |
t3_1bea3d | dating_advice | The girl I have been dating has been distant this weekend, asked her why....(F/21)(M/22) | So I've been dating/seeing this girl for about a month or so, not facebook official yet or anything hahaha, just dating. We are not huge on texting but when we do text it is always fun and enjoyable, but this past weekend she was very distant. So I sent her a text saying "so you've been pretty distant as of late, everything ok?" And she responded basically saying that "her ex wanted to talk to her and he apologized for everything and the conversation with him went well so she was just providing herself some space to get her head straight" (paraphrasing). Which makes total sense. I get that. And I honestly expected this to happen, they dated for almost 2 years or so, it's never a "clean" break.
Background: Her ex treats her like shit publicly and privately and none of her friends or family like him. He never made her feel attractive or wanted at all. She broke up with him a while ago and he apologized and promised changed yada yada yada we've all seen it before. Nothing changed and here she is again, broke up with him and now he talked with her again apologizing and yada yada yada.
I truly like this girl and I know that she likes me as well. We attend the same college and are both music composition students. I've always had a huge thing for her and she has admitted that she has always had a thing for me as well.
The question I have is: Is it best to give her space (obviously) and really have no contact at all (unless, of course she initiates), or give her the space she needs but every once in awhile shoot her a text and see what she is up to and stuff? Not asking about the situation, just chatting. | Girl I really like is needing space to think about a conversation her and her ex had. Give her space with no contact, or give her space while shooting a text every so often? |
t3_ej396 | AskReddit | Why don't we stand up for Wikileaks? Set your facebook profile picture to bring awareness. | I'll explain my reasoning. I spoke to a good friend of mine yesterday. He isn't the smartest of folk but he has been a good friend for a long time. He asked me if I had heard of "wikileaks". I told him I had and asked him why he asked. He stated that he was "afraid of the association because of what they might uncover. After just talking for a few moments he said. "Yeah I guess I wouldn't back up a friend that held secrets from me".
I think that people need to know that it is OK to support Wikileaks. If bringing awareness to anything is important it is THIS subject.
Does this make sense? The photo would need to be clear and directly to the point. | Middle America doesn't know who to trust because of course they are misinformed. Why not bring awareness and support to Wikileaks by changing our facebook pictures to the same "Support Wikileaks" graphic. |
t3_50drh9 | relationships | I [16M] have had a crush on a girl [17F] for months and I am too scared to say anything... | Not to sound like a softie or anything but go easy with the responses please, i have not had great experience with asking for help publicly.
For quite a while now i have had a crush on this girl in my grade. We have one class together but I see her around school a lot. From what i have been told, we have a bit in common, we both enjoy photography and we are usually quiet people.
I find her incredibly gorgeous and fascinating and i am extremely eager to get to know her. But there are some issues, i have a huge fear of rejection and a history of it... This fear makes me too scared to talk to her and say "Hey" and sometimes even look at her.
Her friends aren't a big help either. From what most people (who know her and her friend group) say, they are very influential on her decisions, which makes me feel more anxious about it all because now i have more people to not make a fool of myself in front of...
Her and i have never spoken before, i have been too nervous to even open my mouth near her due to the butterflies in my stomach. I added her as a friend on Facebook and had attempted to talk to her over that, but my messages have not been received.
So what exactly should i do here? I am dying to talk to her but i choke and blush like hell when i get near her.. Facebook is out of the question and the thought of not being able to even talk to her upsets me. | Fear of being rejected by crush. Get butterflies and scared when near her. Never spoken to her before. Really eager to talk to her and get to know her. Help. |
t3_1obfio | relationships | Me (24/m) and my new girlfriend (23/f) went a little too far the other night, and now it's killing me | We've been together for a month after a long, thoroughly enjoyable "courting" period. A few days into the relationship, we had an evening together and we went just a bit too far, physically. We were comfortable at the time, but the next morning I felt sort of uncomfortable. We talked about it, got over it, and the rest of the month went smoothly.
Last Sunday, it happened again. Again, we were communicating really well while we were being physical. It wasn't until the next day that I felt uncomfortable, so again I talked to her about it, but this time neither of us is getting over it.
She is really worried about what I must think of her (this is her first relationship), and is worried that I think she is a slut. Intellectually, I know she isn't, but now I'm worried that that thought is seeping into my subconscious. I've been thoroughly sad since Wednesday, unable to concentrate on much. We've talked and spent a little time together, but something just plain feels "off," and it's making us both miserable.
Reddit, I absolutely adore her, but I'm so scared of everything that's going on right now. I don't want her to think that I'm mentally unstable, but I visited a therapist for the first time just to make sure I wasn't spiraling into a depression. I told her this just to be honest, and now I'm worried about how it's making her feel. Last night, we talked it all over, and we both feel miserable but can't entirely figure out why.
We are apart for a week due to Fall Break. I'm hoping to get myself pulled together, and be able to get the relationship back on the tracks once we're back together. She has written me a letter saying that she definitely still wants to be in a relationship and that she thinks the world of me. I think the world of her, too, but right now something just feels hopelessly broken. Has anyone ever been here before? | new girlfriend and I got too physical (mutually), and now there is something really wrong, even though we both still adore each other and want to be in a relationship. |
t3_9yse8 | relationship_advice | My boyfriend's "condition" has put our sex life to a halt. | When we first started having sex, we did it almost daily for ~6 months. Then it died down to a couple times a week, and then a couple times every two weeks. I missed the frequency, but it didn't bother me too much. Then a couple times every two months, but this was during the time we argued/fought/broke up.
4 months after breaking up, we got back together and sex was daily (yay) for ~2 weeks. Then it started dying down again, and 2 weeks ago he FINALLY told me about the problem he has with his frenulum (sp?). He's partially circumcised, and apparently he has minor pain everytime we have sex. Afterwards, his frenulum swells up and throbs and extremely sensitive to the point where he thinks it'll pop any second. When I expressed concern, he said it's okay and that usually his horniness will overcome the discomfort, since the only time it hurts during sex is when his foreskin is pulled back more than ~1.5in. We always use condoms which keep his foreskin in place for the most part.
It explained a lot-- sometimes I would worry that he wasn't attracted to me anymore because of porn, or maybe I was doing something wrong that made him not want to have sex, etc. But ever since he told me about the problem, we've stopped having sex all together. It sucks. It's as if now that it's out, he doesn't need to go through the discomfort/pain/inconvenience anymore. I'm starting to have those thoughts again (he doesn't think I'm pretty anymore, I'm bad at sex, etc.), but he reassures me it's because of his frenulum...
I figured someone else has to have the same problem. Is there anyone else partially circumcised who's experienced similar? How did you handle it? My bf says that getting fully circumcised will fix it, but I don't want him to. I like his wiener. =( | My partially circumcised boyfriend's frenulum hurts during/after sex and has put our sex life to a halt. Help? |
t3_2uxv8h | tifu | TIFU by breaking my little brother's new toy | This did happen just now, and as I don't consider this a major fuck-up, I'm not going to bother to make a throwaway account.
My little brother's birthday is tomorrow, so my mother went to the store and bought him a few toys and balloons (he is turning three). She came back and told me to open a package that contained an automatic yo-yo (You know, one of those yo-yo's that comes back automatically so you don't have to manually bring it back to yourself).
I tried to hand it to my little brother to play with it, but he was preoccupied with the balloons, so I decided to start playing with it (what can I say, it's just one of those things that is entertaining to use). At one point, I swung it too hard, and it broke. The string became unattached from the center piece, and now it won't come back. It's sealed together, so it would be hard to take it apart to fix it and put it back together. My older brother and younger sister tried to fix it, and they had no luck doing so.
My little brother doesn't know that I broke it, as he hasn't tried to play with it yet. I'm not even sure if my mother knows I broke it. In any case, I'm sure that my little brother would be wondering what it's supposed to do if/when he starts to play with it. As far as I know, my mother has no plans of returning to the store. | My mother got my (soon to be) three year old brother a new yo-yo. I started to play with it and broke it, and my mother has no plans of going to the store again. |
t3_2z9hcu | relationships | Me [00 M/F] with my ___ [00 M/F] duration, short-description | Hi guys. A little preface. I've been with this girl for 2 years and we have never had any issues. Until recently we've always been great communicators. This past week she has gone out with her friends 2 nights in a row, I have never met these people. We had little to no contact during these nights, despite me trying to talk to her, she said she was out with friends and wasnt looking at her phone. I understand that and respect her girl time.
However, last night I wanted to check my schedule on her iphone and she changed her 4 digit password. Previously I had knew the password and it was cool for me to use her phone whenever. So I woke her up and asked her If i can check my schedule and why she changed her password. She said it was because apple made her change it when she updated her software. I dont think this is true but I am not sure, as I dont have any apple products. I asked if I can read her texts, as I have been struggling to trust her lately and it would make me feel comfortable again if I could confirm she wasnt doing anything fishy. She said no. I asked her if she was hiding anything she said no. I dropped the subject and went to sleep.
Do you think I should confront her again and ask why she lied about apple making her change her password? What would you do in the situation im in? | Should i continue to confront her about things I'm insecure about or just let it be, because in the end I want this relationship to work, but she doesnt seem to consider my feelings. |
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