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t3_3ls6zj | relationships | Me [20 M] with my GF [21 F] of 1 year, realised when I told her I loved her I didn't. Should I tell her when I really love Her now? | I had never had a proper relationship prior to this one, gf had been in relationships before. About 2 months into the relationship she told me she loved me and I believed that what I was feeling was love (having never felt it before) so I told her that I also loved her. All was good.
About 3 months later I realised I was starting to feel for my gf on a completely different level to how I felt before and now I believe that moment was when I really started to love her and the initial 'I love you' from me was in fact a lie. I am reminded by this every time I tell her I love her but I don't know if I should tell her. | Told gf I loved her when that didn't actually happen for me for another few months. Now I do love her is it worth telling her about it as it plays on my mind. |
t3_qismc | AskReddit | My roommate had a party and his DJ unplugged my chest freezer ruining all of my food. What can I do about it? | He is saying he won't do anything because he didn't unplug it. I feel this is bullshit. Me and this roommate have always been cool, but now he refuses to do anything about this which sucks. We keep the freezer in the garage which I haven't been in for about a week. This means the food was left unfrozen for a week so it is definitely ruined in case anyone thought it was salvageable.
I am out a lot of food which translates to money. I buy meat and stuff in bulk when it goes on sale so I can freeze it and save it. The freezer was filled to the brim with tons of meat, fish, pork, venison, and other assorted goodies totaling around 200-300 dollars.
So what should or can I do reddit? I almost want to call the cops because I am so angry at the blatant disrespect for my shit. I hate cops which should tell you how angry I am. Any and all options are on the table. Please let me know what can and should be done. Thanks! | Roommate throws party and DJ unplugs my chest freezer ruining close to $300 worth of food and refuses to rectify this situation. |
t3_30kh65 | relationships | I [21F] have a huge crush on my coworker [20M] and don't know how to deal with it. Advice? | A couple different issues going on here. I appreciate if you can offer advice at all. I also apologize in advance if this is disorganized, I have worked way too many hours this week.
I can't seem to get over this huge crush I have on my coworker. I don't even know why I feel this way, it's like a middle school crush. I know almost nothing about him. I used to feel this way about boys when I was young and innocent and inexperienced. Since then I have dated many people, casually or seriously. Any time I like a guy I usually can play it cool, but eventually I am very blunt and just tell them how I feel.
For some reason with my coworker I can't talk right, I always fuck up what I'm doing and it's just bad. How do I deal with this? Why do I have a school-girl crush out of nowhere?
Second problem, I have no idea how to talk to him or how to approach the situation. Usually I am very straightforward and tell people how I feel no matter what. It usually works out well but if I get rejected I can deal. I feel like I can't just be blunt because he is my coworker. I don't want it to be completely awkward having to see each other everyday if it turns out he's not interested. I don't even know if he's seeing anyone and I can't ask any of my other coworkers because they all know each other really well, and that's super junior high school.
I'm having trouble talking to him in general because he is very quiet and aloof. I'm the same way most of the time unless I really know somebody. I usually go for the outgoing funny guys which is why I have no clue how to deal with a shy/quiet guy. How do I talk to him and how should I try and approach this since we work together?
Thank you, I appreciate any advice you can give. | Have a crush on my coworker. Don't know how to approach it or how to talk to a shy/quiet guy. Don't understand why I feel this way. |
t3_umw0t | AskReddit | A major career/life milestone beginning -how about yours? | I am a career junkie; my entire life since the age of twenty has been focused towards the achievement of professional goals (antimicrobial drug discovery). I have found that with each major accomplishment the the thrill and satisfaction is diminished which compels me to seek big and greater gains! My first big high was journal publication in graduate school, then publications that were cover features, then work highlighted in world renowned arenas, after that it was grants on topics far and wide -until I thought of myself as a wizard in the field. My last big achievement was the contribution to a book detailing the future of drug discovery. However none of that compares to what I'll be doing Thursday. I will be proposing a biotech spin-off to a group of investors. Starting a biotech from the ground up has been a lifelong dream.
Reddit would you share some of your experiences regarding career achievement thrills and milestones? Any advice you'd care to share? Any critical lessons I should be mulling over? | Thursday is a huge milestone in my career and I'd like to know about similar experiences and maybe how it made you feel or lessons you learned? |
t3_1uhup1 | relationships | Have any of you successfully 'waited' for a guy to be ready to date? F/24 - M/26 | Long story short, I started talking to someone about 10 months ago. It was 1 month after a broken engagement to the girl he thought he was going to marry.
We get along great and he has always been and continues to be very honest with me. pretty much he would date me if he was in a different time in his life.
We still hangout pretty often. We do hook up as well. Things are good I can't lie. However he is very hesitant to get into anything serious at this point.
Have any of you guys been successful in similar situations? | Met guy right after his broken engagement. He's great. He thinks I'm great. He's hesitant to get into anything serious now. |
t3_2cc4v8 | relationships | Me [20 F] with friend [20 M]; his negativity is bringing me down, but I'm the only person who talks to him. | "John" and I have been friends for about 4 years. We met in high school because we were in the same after school club. The whole club was close, so we were all good friends. Then, two years ago, everyone went away to college. John and I were the only two to go to the same college. I've stayed close with several of the friends, but john has lost contact with all but me.
Ever since college, things have gotten worse for John. He's always been very socially awkward and different. Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if he was somewhere on the high functioning spectrum of the autism spectrum. After leaving high school, John has receded so far into his shell that I'm basically the only person he talks to or spends time with. When we do talk, it's mostly about how miserable he is. He's depressed, hates his job, hates his roommate, is lonely, is struggling in classes, etc etc. I've been offering constructive advice for a while (Can you try to find a different job? Would you want to speak to a school counselor? Are there any organizations that interest you? Why don't you hang out with me and my friends this weekend?) It's all to no avail. He refuses to help himself and comes up with excuses for why he can't do things. I'm at my wit's end. It's incredibly frustrating to listen to him talk about his problems and not try to fix them. He reaches out to me at least several times a week and the conversation always end up on his issues.
I don't mean to completely under sell John. He is a nice guy, and we both have a sarcastic sense of humor that we get a kick out of. Sometimes we laugh about the old times, and he has some interesting, intelligent things to talk about. But the friendship feels one sided. Granted, I don't have any major issues to talk about, but it's always about his problems. I would feel bad not talking to him about them, or ignoring his attempts to talk, but his constant negativity is draining me. Any help? | I'm basically this guy's only friend. He's very unhappy but refuses to try to change his life, and I'm tired of listening to it. |
t3_2orap0 | relationships | I'm worried my husband [25M] and I [24F] are on the brink of divorce over infidelity. | We have only been married a year and a half.
Since before we were married we have talked about swinging and being in situations where we possibly play around with other people. Since getting married we have lightly pursued this, but haven't really had any luck.
I have recently discovered some conversations between my husband and other girls. He has taken things into his own hands and started pursuing some relationships without my knowledge. My husband doesn't really understand my anger and hurt because he thinks that this was the plan all along.
My vision of the swinging was something that we would do together and share together as a couple, not him just hooking up with random girls. Now that I've discovered this I'm a wreck. I feel constantly anxious and jealous. I work nights, so I always think that when I'm working he's at home sleeping with someone else. My trust is gone.
I've explained this to him, but he says that the sexual desires he's feeling are very strong and he doesn't think he can live a life of monogamy. I'm worried that no matter what, he is always going to be a man who will cheat on me.
I love this man. I don't want to end my marriage. Our life is beautiful and we have complicated wonderful 5 year plans in place. I don't know how to move past though. | my husband is having sex with other girls, which he thinks falls under the previous agreement of swinging. I disagree and I'm not handling it well. |
t3_1hgkrw | college | R/College What are some good Summer Programs/Leadership Programs? | College, brand new slate. Seeing as I did not do much during my intermission(nary?) period (Summers) in High School except Sleep, Eat, Play, and Lurk. I'm looking to go above and beyond in College!
My major is International Business and Global Management/International Relations with it all falling into a Pre-Law
Track. However I'm still undecided. =)
I'm looking at internships and non-profit organizations and not necessarily volunteer organizations either.
(I also never do for-profit organizations if I could do a non-profit and Never Ever affiliate myself with a religious organization.)
E.G. NOLS, Americorps, Pathways (can't do Peace Corps). Something akin to that. | So r/College what are some good Non-Profit Non-Religious-Affiliated Summer Programs/Leadership Programs or even Programs in general that are hiding under my nose? |
t3_1idbj5 | relationship_advice | Have feelings for long time friend, but she is with someone | I (M26) have had a long distance friendship with someone (F23) for years now. We've always been really good friends. We're close, we trust each other, and all of that.
I have feelings for her. I always kind of have, but the distance makes it difficult to do much about it. But, we're adults now, and I'm a lot more willing and able to work around that.
On some level I think she may feel something for me, too. I've never gotten the impression that she "friendzoned" me. (I don't like that word but I'm not sure of a better way to say it.)
She doesn't reject or dismiss my compliments, and she responds positively whenever I've implied that I'm attracted to her, or would want to date her. If I'm flirting with her, she usually has reciprocated. A few times it has been obvious there was some mutual attravtion. We've said I love you before, and not in just a joking way.
I'm going to see her soon and had been planning to try to let her know how I feel, but she got back together with her ex.
What the hell do I do? I was thinking of telling her that I fare for her, that's she's important to me, and that I really meant it when I said I love you before I leave when I see her. | Have feelings for a long distance friend I've known for years. I'm seeing her soon but she's back with her ex. What do I do? |
t3_24bo8x | relationships | Me [35F] with my son [9M] I resent my only child | I love him, and wouldn't let him know my feelings.
But my child is so normal. All his friends in class seem to have amazing abilities, and alls my son seems overly good with is playing on games.
I love him, he's a great kid. But I hate him, he took away my best years, uses up so much money and is just himself.
He loves me and always runs in smiling and happy, but damn he's so typical it's sad.
All the the other mothers in his class tell me how fantastic their kid is, sports, math, science and English. He teacher did say he's in the top percentile for math and science but when I see him doing his homework it's so easy and even then he struggles.
None of the other kids seem to struggle.
I pay for him to get tutoring, but he doesn't seem to care and I'm not all that sure it's changed him.
I want him to be special and great like other kids, but he's so normal. | All the other kids are gifted and my child is normal, I kind of feel disappointed that he's just a regular kid. |
t3_2hb1ix | relationships | Me [24 F] with my BF [24 M] 3 years, He cheated, now what? | Long story short, after two horrible relationships, I found someone that made me realize what being loved should feel like. Cliche? A little, but that's the only way I know how to describe it. He was amazing. We've been dating for over three years. I left for three months to teach at a summer camp in Turkey and came home only to find out that he cheated on me.
Consequently, he regrets this and "it was a mistake", of which "will never happen again". Honestly, besides this incident, he has been a remarkable, caring, supportive boyfriend. However, considering my past, I really don't have the tolerance to deal with cheaters any more. I have exhausted so much effort giving people second chances that haven't deserved it.
Being that I having freshly reentered the U.S. from my teaching stint abroad, I am currently unemployed. I should also mention my boyfriend and I have been living together for the past two years, so it's not like I can just go hide in a safe place for a duration of time until I can figure out what to do. Instead, I packed a backpack full of clothes and headed to the nearest motel, which is where I'm sitting right now, at 2 A.M., completely, and utterly confused, thinking this is all really not happening.
I apologize for my rambling. :/ | I had a great guy that cheated. Should I give him a second chance, or considering my past, should I just say screw it and move on? |
t3_4ku493 | relationships | My [31M] Best man lied about no lap dances at the bachelor party. Fiance[30F] wants his speech cut from the reception. | Groom here. I will try to be as objective as possible.
* Fiance and best man have a very negative history. She dislikes him for legitimate reasons. He has dis-respected her in the past multiple times.
* Best man tells fiance that my bachelor party will include a strip club visit. I do not know about this.
* Fiance is unhappy, but requests no lap dances.
* Best man promises no lap dances.
* Strip club plan is revealed to me 30 minutes before we depart for said strip club.
* Best man tells me about fiance's request.
* Fiance texts me and asks if I know the rules.
* I say yes.
* Groomsmen buy lap dances for me.
* I accept lap dances.
**NEXT DAY**
* I tell my fiance everything, including the lap dances
* She becomes extremely upset
* She later requests that the best man does not sign the marriage certificate, and does not give a speech at the reception
* I agree to the signing, but feel that the speech request was excessive
* Weeks of arguing ensues.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
**Present Day**
I screwed up here too. At this point I've really just upset her for not understanding her feelings to begin with, not necessarily the speech itself anymore. | Best man lied about no lap dances at the bachelor party. I knew the rules and still accepted them. Fiance doesn't want him speaking at the reception. |
t3_21jcc4 | relationships | Me [20 M] with my ex-gf [20 M/F] (dated for 7 months; She wants me back; I'm unsure. | I dated this girl for 7 months, and most of it was amazing. The type of thing where we knew what each other were thinking, we'd finish each other's sandwiches, etc. It was awesome right up until about 6.5 months in, she started getting kind of distant, until she eventually dumped me because of "some personal stuff she needed to deal with." This mostly had to do with family.
Anyway, the next day she told me she was wrong, and that she didn't want to lose me. We got back together, only to have almost the exact same thing happen two days later. We got back together one more time, only for her to decide that it still wasn't working. This was a little over a month ago.
In the space since we broke up, I established a very quiet FWB relationship with a friend [~20/f] of both myself and ex-gf. I don't have any strong feelings for her, but I think she might for me, which is one aspect that's complicating things.
My ex and I started talking to me again, and she says she still loves me, that we should get back together. I told her I needed time to think about it, and that I wasn't ready quite yet. She told me to take as much time as I needed, and that she'd wait if that's what needs to happen.
I still have really strong feelings for this girl, and I really want to go back, since with the exception of the last little bit, it was the best relationship I've ever been in. I'm just worried that the exact same thing is going to happen again, and things will only be worse.
Also, I'm very nervous about the fact that if we get back together, eventually I will probably have to tell her about the FWB thing, and that's not something I'm looking forward to.
Advice? | Ex-gf that dumped me three times wants to get back together; I'm not sure I'm ready for it. Complicated slightly by short-term FWB relationship. |
t3_2nov9f | relationship_advice | My girlfriend talks with her ex a lot, started talking about me and didn't want to show me | Currently in a long distance relationship with my girlfriend, it's been 4 months. Before me, she briefly was with someone else while she loved me, trying to forget me thinking I would never love her.
He got upset at her, started swearing and hurt her, guilted her and talked to his friends about her. One of them called her a bitch and asked him to tell her, which he did ("oh, random told me to tell you you're a bitch").
They pretty much stopped to talk for around 2-3 months. Now, to be clear, I hate that guy. She started talking to him again recently and never told me until 2 weeks later. She probably thought I would get upset and when I learned about it, she tried to comfort me saying she would never have feelings for him anymore and that it was an error to ever be with him, so I trust her about that. He hurts her but she keeps going back to him.
I pretty much asked her to stop talking to him because it was making me uncomfortable and she said it was hard for her to cut off friends, which again, I believe because I know her. But he keeps making mistakes. Recently he started talking behind my back to her, calling me immature and things like that to make himself look better, I guess. She told me 2 days later and showed me what he said but never what she answered him. I asked her to show me the full conversation about me and she always said "no, I don't want to" not giving any other reason.
Now it's been 2 weeks and today I asked again because the subject was brought up. She had to delete her conversations for some legit reason but said she would keep their conversation to "maybe" show me one day. Just 30 minutes ago, she deleted all of these, the one with him included and therefore will never show me.
How am I supposed to feel about that? Am I overreacting if I feel betrayed? | my girlfriend keeps talking to her ex, they talked about me, showed part of it but never wanted to show it entirely and now deleted the conversation. |
t3_2vwr54 | relationships | Me [22 M] dating a [22F] for a few months, constantly insults me after each date. | Before this relationship, I was single for a 3.5 years. Recently I have started putting myself out there again. I found a potential girl who lives about an hour away and we hit it off via text and phone conversations. I tend to be a shy guy in general, and it does take me time to warm up to people. Due to working on my doctorate(medical field) and working towards becoming a military officer I tend to be extremely busy during the week.
So this whole dating thing is completely foreign to me. After our first date I noticed something slightly off about this girl. She for some reason will find it necessary after each date to pick out any and all flaws she can find in me and just list them off to me. Whether it be that she believes I am a bad kisser, that I was nervous, or that I don't act masculine enough the list goes on.
Then during the week when we are too busy to see each other the relationship becomes great. We send our typical happy go lucky texts, joke around on snap chat, flirt and have a healthy relationship. Even this valentines day (celebrated it yesterday due to work), she gets me the most thoughtful gifts, we have a laid back date, and then afterwards the slew of insults come in about how I am too skinny (170lbs 5'8''), not masculine enough, how her last boyfriend was more confident and how she'd never typically date someone like me, but that I am "husband material."
I had tried breaking up with her earlier in the week, but she insisted that she just takes time to warm up to people. Which I can sympathize with because I also find it hard to open myself up to others. My confidence right now is at an all time low, every date I have with this girl seems to tear apart another piece of me. I don't know how to interpret any of this, I know this isn't a healthy relationship but I prefer it to the alternative of remaining single. What should I do? | Dating a girl who insults me after each date. Don't know if this is typical relationship behavior as I've never said a rude thing to her yet. |
t3_1mbk8v | relationship_advice | My girlfriend [18/F] cheated on me [19/M] but now it's complicated. | About six weeks ago I found out that my girlfriend of 2 1/2 years had been cheating on me with her abusive ex-boyfriend so after asking my cousin if it was the right thing to do, I left her.
After getting massively unfit from comfort food and had very dark thoughts I decided not to continue being a little bitch and sorted my life out; however we've both gone back to college now and I tried my best to ignore her and carry on with life but it is now getting a bit tough...
A mutual friend told me that the ex boyfriend really badly hurt her physically which involved her dad needing to basically force his way past to get her home. I now feel terrible as I always promised to keep her safe.
I spoke to her today and I'm starting to feel for her again so I need your help. | Not sure whether to get back with ex-girlfriend who hurt me a lot physchologically but she got physically abused by guy she cheated on me with. |
t3_uwtsm | AskReddit | Reddit, I'm 18 and my parents are threatening to throw me out because I can't find work for the summer. I've applied to tons of positions but nothing's worked so far. Can someone help me out? | I'm an 18 y.o. college student (currently studying Mechanical Engineering at a school in New Jersey) and, basically: I've been applying for internships, full-time labor, and part-time labor since February. NOTHING has come through, not even rejection responses for the most part. I've send out countless copies of my resume to a menagerie of different positions on Craigslist, company job portals, and the like.
I normally wouldn't bitch about this to Reddit but my parents are gradually threatening to throw me out of their house. They're pissed about my unemployment and my college performance (apparently a 3.0 is not good enough). I don't think that they'd ever go through with it, but the stress alone from them yelling at me daily is enough to drive me into depression. Economically, if I could move out, I would.
So, yeah, if anyone here can help me out - is an employer, knows someone, associated with a business, etc; I would appreciate it so very much.
Here's a link to the ad on Craigslist I made, should be helpful and shows what my skills are: | Can't get a job for the summer. Parents not understanding, threatening to throw me out. Need to find something soon. |
t3_1fr93p | relationships | Is this unfair of me [M, 20] to ask of my girlfriend [F,19]? | hi
i have been dating my girlfriend for around 5 months now, and we have been very happy. we are in a long distance relationship.
i trust my girlfriend completely, she is not at all the kind of person that would cheat.
she is best friends with her ex. they talk a lot and often do stuff online together (theirs was also a long distance thing).
this worries me greatly. i dont know if she still has feelings for him. she says she wants to be with me, but i dont know if she means it. she has known him a lot longer than me,
sometimes it seems like it is easier for him to spend time with her than it is for me to. the first thing i do when i wake up is message her, the first thing i do when she gets on is talk to her, she takes priority over everyone.
with her its like its between me and him. she rarely initiates a call with me, and a lot of the time just goes straight into calls with him.
is it unreasonable of me to ask her if she still has feelings for him? | gf is friends with her ex, i dont know if it is unfair of me to ask her whether or not she still has any sorts of feelings for him. |
t3_2m7doh | relationships | My GF [25F] might go on a 2 week vacation without me. [24M] | So I am on my phone and english is not my first language. Ill keep it short.
We have been togeather for 4.5 years.
Me and my gf have had a rocky year, broken up a few times and she broke up with me through sms and slept with someone else 1 day after that. Its broken my trust alot and we have fought to make it through and we have it good now, better than never.
However, now for her 25th birthday it seems that her brother might give her a paid trip to Thailand for 2 weeks with him and I dont know how to feel.
She cheated on her last BF, she slept with someone 1 day after breaking up through sms etc...
Her brother drinks alot and so does she. I dont want to go with them because I want to spend my money on better stuff (drivers liecens, save to study etc)
But what can I do? What should I do? I know that its like a 80% chance she will cheat on me if she goes there tho..
And even if she does nothing, i know that I kinda wont believe her due to how she has lied to me in the past.. | gf since 4.5 might go to thailanf for 2 weeks with heavy drinking without me, shes lied to me in the past and i feel unsure about what to do / feel |
t3_16n9y9 | relationship_advice | Ex-husband just informed me (via text) me that he's having a baby with his girlfriend | For 7 years I have been fortunate enough to maintain a very amicable relationship with my ex-husband. We have two children together (7 & 9). I would go so far as to qualify him as my very best friend. Yet, for the past two years he has been carrying on a relationship with an evil married woman. He met her on one of these "discrete encounter" websites. She has since left her husband, and has been living with my ex for 3-4 months and now she's pregnant. I'm very very sad to learn this news. Not because I am harboring any feelings towards this man, but because I know this will forever alter the relationship we shared. I'm sad because even when I've felt wretched about myself, I was always able to feel "special" for having given him his two children. Now some repulsive woman will step in and recreate this with him. It just makes me feel horrible. Now I have nine months to listen to my children excitedly anticipate the arrival of their new brother or sister. I know I can't change the situation. I know I should just move on. But how do I handle myself? I can't escape the feeling that this woman has "won". That she has succeeded in her efforts to thwart this wonderful relationship we have maintained for years. Any advice? | Ex texts that he's having a baby with insecure bimbo from South Philly whose eaten one too many cheese steaks. |
t3_1imwi1 | cats | Had a very strange experience this morning. I wonder if anyone's had a similar thing happen? | I apologise if this is a bit garbled but here goes:
My 19 year old cat Mogwai has been sneezing quite a bit over the last few days. He has a slightly blocked tear duct so his eyes and nose are a little runny usually but initially we put it down to that, plus the hot weather which he's not used to, and the dry ground and dust outside. He was eating and drinking fine and we were monitoring it to see if it got better.
This morning I was just getting the other animals fed when my dad came belting round the corner with him in his arms. Sticking out of the centre of his nose (not the nostril, the nose) was a piece of dried grass or hay. I thought he'd been snuffling round in the hay barn as he does and had somehow got a piece of sharp hay stuck.
As I started to pull it out (he was panicking so I just grabbed it and figured I'd clean up any blood straight away, before he could worry at it) I realised to my horror that this piece of hay/grass was about 2 inches long. It just. kept. coming.
As soon as it was out, he gave a huge sneeze and the tiny hole in the centre of his nose actually stopped bleeding and closed almost straight away. He looked much happier and calmer as I cleaned him up.
To cut a long story short (sorry!), he was absolutely fine afterwards and is currently sleeping soundly on his favourite mat. Is it at all possible that he ate this at some point (he does on occasion), sneezed, and has somehow expelled it through his nose? It sounds ridiculous but I can't think of any other explanation. He has also stopped sneezing now. | Cat sneezed a 2" piece of dry grass/hay out of the inside of his nose. How?! |
t3_1rb47f | relationships | I [M20] was just broken up with by my LDR girlfriend [F33], need help to move on | First time posting on reddit, hoping I'm doing this right!
Some background on us: We met about 6 years ago online, lost contact, regained contact about two years ago and have been chatting ever since, pretty much every day.
Half a year ago I finally ordered some flight tickets and I went to visit her, it went amazing! We had only been friends up until this point, but when the time came that I had to go back, we were together. Everything went smooth from then on out, I visited her again and everything was still great. I'm a relatively short guy myself (5'6") and haven't had the best of luck with women, so getting together with this girl after one visit was quite a nice surprise to me.
Now to my problem: This past Saturday, we had one of our usual talks and I didn't sense any problem at all, she was very playful, like always. Sunday she didn't come online, much to my surprise, but on Monday morning she told me she needed time to think and on Wednesday morning she broke up with me on the grounds of "maturity/age difference, the long-distance and wanting to go forward".
This girl meant everything to me and still does. I've come to terms with not being able to be in a romantic relationship with her, but I still can't stand the thought of losing a friend.
The ending of this relationship just seems so weird to me, with it ending so abruptly and without warning.
We had arranged plans for her to spend Christmas here with me, I have already bought the tickets and have everything planned, but with the end of the relationship I'm not sure what's best for both parts; I'd still like for her to visit me so we can talk things out and have a nice time together, just as friends.
Does anyone have any advice for me to help me move on and hopefully still stay friends with her? | Best friend and LDR GF breaks up with me because she doesn't think she can move forward with me, looks like we can be friends, what's best for me? |
t3_19wmok | dogs | So angry and not sure what to do | I'm so annoyed right now! doggit, I'm not sure what to do or what I can do. I know of two people (a couple in a relationship) that are very irresponsible dog owners, they are my boyfriends friends (definitely not mine) and treat their pets horrible.
They are the kind of people that keep their dog tied up outside 24/7, let it poop everywhere and never clean it up. Have a flimsy fenced yard where the dog eventually got out and got killed by a car. They fed their dog scraps such as old chicken carcasses. The dog was
so messed up with anxiety and nervousness you could barely pet it.
They are currently searching for a new puppy and it infuriates me. They had their dog that got hit by a car, another cross breed that they didn't want to put any effort into so they got rid of it, a long haired breed cat that they don't brush which has resulted in matted hair and a cat that they keep outside that got pregnant and it's kittens weaned too early and given away too early to get rid of them.
These people have 3 kids, one of whom is violent towards the animals and killed one of the kittens (on purpose), these people shouldn't have pets and I am raging at the thought of them buying ANOTHER puppy when their old dog just died (3 weeks ago) They will NOT put time or effort into this dog.
I'm not sure what I can do, I'm thinking I should wait and see if they get this dog and ring the local dog human society if I find out it's being mistreated and living in a horrible environment.
I can't stand sitting back knowing they're going to fuck some poor dogs life up and eventually give it away because they haven't put any effort into it and it ends up with behavioural problems.
Would calling the humane society be a good idea or should I just bite my tongue and keep to myself? | Irresponsible pet owners I know are getting ANOTHER puppy when they really shouldn't be. Thinking about calling a humane society to inspect them |
t3_3v2r4m | relationships | Me [18 M] with my SO [18 F] of over 3 years, she is backing off from our relationship. | I have been with my now SO for over 3 years and we've just started attending the same university this fall semester. Because it is a local university, we have just opted to live at our own homes. In the past, we've always been enrolled in different schools. We would text each other during the week and mainly hangout on weekends. This was in high school. Since starting this semester at university, we've been carpooling a lot and doing homework together. Overall, we've been spending more time together in non-romantic situations.
Here is the problem that occurred:
She has slowly been backing away from intimacy in our relationship due to conversations, activities, and behaviors remaining the same while nothing exciting is occurring to spark her interest or attraction to me.
She has felt like our relationship has been transforming into a friendship. Lately, she has been referring to our relationship when it started and how things aren't what they used to be.
I've tried to explain it that we are full time students and that going to school will limit our options to do exciting things, but she still has the same mindset. I am pretty sure that this is an attempt to stop our relationship and it doesn't sound like she wants to try to fix it.
I don't know what I should do. | SO losing interest in me and our relationship due to day-to-day similarity of full-time university life. I still love her. |
t3_enjbq | relationships | Well reddit, looks like I lost someone I really loved. | Boy 19:
Girl 19:
I am the boy.
**History**
The girl and boy have known each other since 6th grade through friends. Spent endless nights on AIM talking to each other.
Met each other at the end of their Junior year.
Boy falls in love with girl.
Girl finds a best friend (as does the boy).
After a year of chasing the girl, boy and girl date.
Girl breaks up with boy, giving a bullshit excuse.
She was afraid of losing the boy, thought the boy would lose interest.
Get back together, months later, break up for same reason.
Get back later, weeks later, boy smothers girl.
Too much attention.
Boy doesn't know what to do with himself.
Tries to explain that it's some weird thing he can't control.
His emotions get the best of him.
He gets nauseous and anxious.
His bowels go crazy.
He's sorry.
Apology accepted.
Happens again and again and again for a year.
Each time, more and more lashing out at the boy.
He's sorry.
**Story**
Girl gets involved with another guy and has sex with him.
Only five days after break up with boy.
Boy catches wind of it after the other guy goes back to home state.
And after boy and girl have sex twice while not in their usual relationship.
Boy becomes insecure.
Boy chases girl anyway.
Boy gets girl.
Boy has little to no friends left from leaving them for girl.
Girl is secure.
Girl loves boy.
Girl hates people, so little to no friends besides boy.
Girl starts talking to the other guy again.
Boy gets insecure.
Long nights of girl playing video games with guy.
Boy becomes more insecure.
Boy starts smothering girl.
Girl breaks up with boy.
Boy wants to get rid of insecurities.
Boy doesn't want to be controlling.
Boy misses her.
What do? | Consistent jealousy on both ends, followed by misunderstandings, Insecurity from the boy and extreme lashing out by the girl cause a long relationship to end. What do? |
t3_1rzzp8 | relationships | Me [20M] with my SO[22 F] 3.5 years, I ended the relationship and I just want to explain the details to see if others would have done the same. | We started dating when I was in my last year of high school and she was in her first year of university.
After that year we spent 2 years being mostly in different provinces.
From this past summer onward we were finally in the same city which we thought would be fantastic.
I came to realize that although we had a fairly active sex life, we did not see eye to eye on a few topics regarding that.
She wanted someone who would be more willing to accompany her when she had a whim to do something spontaneous and I am a much more relaxed person.
For the last few months I could see the writing on the wall and though we were for the most part very happy I could not shake the feeling that the little fights were getting more frequent and that the small issues we did not agree on were becoming larger.
It is not that I do not think I am good enough for anybody, It is that I think the qualities that are important to her that I do not possess are common enough that she would be happier with someone else. | Small issues that were not evident when living apart were more obvious when together and wondering if that is a stupid reason to end a happy relationship. |
t3_4kve2m | relationships | Me [24 M] with my ex [21 F], conditions of reconnecting? | Less than a year ago, I made perhaps the worst decision in my life thus far by moving to the city for a job immediately out of college. Distance eventually had other plans for me and my girlfriend - first girlfriend/ love, and best friend, and we broke up after a year and a half of dating as a result. Further include the relative loneliness of the town at night and on weekends (due to people mainly coming into the city for work), growing disinterest/ lack of skillset in my job and very few coworkers my age, and less than a year later, I'm packing my bags and am more than ready to get out.
Despite our breakup, both my ex and I really valued our connection with one another, and after a few months of awkwardness and time apart, we started talking more frequently with one another over Facebook messenger. Even now, I consider her to be one of my best friends, and she's told me the same. Both of us agree that the door for romance down the line definitely wasn't closed, but that we wouldn't pursue one another at the moment being in different stages of life/ locations. She's since had some hookups, found a guy that she really likes while abroad in London, and I'm genuinely happy for her, despite an admitted tinge of jealousy.
I was able to meet up with her today for lunch. We had a good time, but it was pretty obvious that she had moved on from me. In any case though, it got me wondering: is it at all possible to reconnect with an ex later in life, and what sort of conditions need to be set in order for it to happen? Once again, I'm not trying to plan for anything to happen; getting back together with my ex could potentially never come to fruition, and I plan on trying to meet and see new people as soon as I get to my new city and move on like she has. But I guess despite all that's happened, I can't help but wonder. | Want to know if it's at all possible to reconnect with an ex further down in life, and what conditions will need to be met. |
t3_ybk4g | AskReddit | Due to a difficult family environment, my girlfriend often feels pressured if I initiate anything or gently encourage her to honour plans we have made. How can I help her build more courage and initiative? | We've been together for around 10 months and are pretty serious. There is a lot of love and good times. There have also been many disagreements. As an example, disagreements tend to come when we have plans to meet up, and she says she can't because she has to go clean her room. Unfortunately we're both really busy, and probably wouldn't be able to meet up for another week so I suggest (not angrily) that she could clean her room a time other than when we had agreed to meet up. She then gets really mad, saying I'm pressuring her and usually there's nothing I can do/say to change her mind. A couple times I've gotten fed up and very mad, and it's convinced her, but I don't want to make her do things, at the same time, we need to have more seriousness about commitments to plans.
I know there's underlying issues with her family who pressure her a lot, and her mother always wants her to be home when she's not at work. Her family is Indian and in a very tightly knit community and I'm white. They don't know about me because my girlfriend thinks they'll hate me because I'm not from their community and lock her up in the house if she tells them.
It's a complicated situation, I know there's a lot of pressure on her, I want to be able to help her to help loosen up her parents but it's hard because they're very oppressive and controlling and I can't do anything indirectly. Her mother uses guilt a lot to make her do things. She'll sometimes cry for hours when my girlfriend won't do something she wants her to, telling her she's putting her in so much pain and how could she be so negligent of her own parents and family. Usually it's for something as simple as my girlfriend wanting to go visit another city for the weekend. What does reddit think I can do to help her overcome the situation with the parents and overcome her struggles with sticking to commitments? | My girlfriend has a hard time following through on commitments and always feels pressured with even slight suggestions. It probably stems from her parents being very controlling and oppressive. How can I help her without being in contact with her family? |
t3_1u47jy | relationships | Best Friends since early childhood. Should we upgrade our platonic relationship. | One of my best friends [20 F] and I [19 M] have been in a great platonic relationship since preschool. I moved away after 1st grade but moved back for 6th and we instantly clicked again. I lost a lot of weight a year ago and I am looking better than I ever have. So I am pretty sure she never had any feelings for me then. But lately we have been hanging out a lot more and sleeping together several nights of the week etc. (We have never slept in the same bed before recently that I can recall). The last time we shared her bed we kinda spooned and I put my arm around her and I felt some feedback. So I can tell that she might want something more on her end.
The thing is we are both going to different schools and really only get to see each other during breaks. Neither of us want to be in a committed relationship at this point. Can we be friends with benefits? I really like our plutonic relationship but I want to move things along. But I also don't want to break our relationship.
I want to talk to her about it but I have been told to let things go organically. What do you guys think?
I will probably try to make a move on her (just a kiss, which we have never done before) when the ball drops tonight if it feels right. | Best friends in a plutonic relationship. Both of us likely have feelings for each other. How do we move on? |
t3_3h456t | relationships | Me [16F] with my best friend [15F] of five years is oblivious | I posted on this subreddit before, have totally forgotten about my account and I can't find my old post, so I'm just going to submit it again.
Some Backround: C and I had met in an online chatroom when we were both 12 (I'm five months older than her) and every since then we have kept in contact.
Over the years we became closer and closer, she told me things that she's never told anyone else and I felt so happy that she would let me help her bare the pain of it and I told her my burdens, we're basically each other's crutches.
She's been having a rough time and I try to be there for her as much as possible, but lately.. she just seems to want a lot of attention. She doesn't like it when I talk to other people and I let her have free roam over that area.
She even dubbed me her 'other best friend' on her twitter. I understand that we live hundreds of miles away from each other, but seriously?
I was fucking pissed off.
I've known her for years and this person just came into her life less than a month ago.
I'm hurt and jealous.
I didn't discuss it with her today- but I took a step after she asked me why I wasn't being 'kind and sweet' anymore. She thought I was mad at her, I wasn't, but I was upset.
I don't have the guts to talk to her about it.
But if she's happy, I'm happy.
She can cast me aside and come to me when she needs anything and I'll help her.
I feel like I should just cut her off.. but I don't have anyone else.
I'm completely dependent on her.
We've made plans to meet in the future and live together in the US to get her out of her situation, but I don't know if I can fulfill this kind of promise.
I just love her.. I think I'm in love with her. I don't know anymore.
What do I do? | Might have fallen for my best friend of five years, never met, but planning to. I feel hurt and betrayed after she called me her 'other best friend'. |
t3_fqp4c | self | Most things tend to be in a greater state of mayhem than usual. Anyone have evidence to the contrary? | This is in the wake of everything that's been happening with Tunisia/Egypt/Bahrain/Libya. Also, this is somewhat on the back of the earthquakes in Canterbury (I'm a New Zealander) - I don't remember hearing of a single earthquake happening in Christchurch and we've suddenly had two fairly serious ones in the last six months.
It *seems* that the world is experiencing a lot more in the way of political unrest and natural disasters, but I would tend to think that it only appears this way because we have greater media coverage of these things when they do happen.
With that in mind, does anyone know whether the numbers agree with this? Statistically, is the world just as politically unstable and disaster-y as it always has been? What do you think? | Earth looks like its going to hell in a hand basket, but maybe its just the same as its always been. Anyone have hard evidence either way? |
t3_3ki84d | tifu | TIFU by allowing lustful guests to use my bathroom. | So I'm an easy going gal. I let guests and their partners stay at my house as they wish. I let them utilize the house however they may... but that stops today.
I let two stay over and they arrived when I was at work. When I came home they were in my room and I kindly escorted them to the guest room. I rarely ever saw the two, they'd typically be in the room or scavenging for food. What I wasn't really expecting was for them to partake in some shower sexy time.
I've been going to the gym 5 days a week so I use their showers. Weekends are cardio days so I run to work and shower there. My guests left after a week and I decided to take a day off from the gym to clean the house. And then came the glorious moment of showering in my own shower. The steamy water, massaging jets, aromatic soap.... and my loofah. It has been at my house waiting for weeks for me to suds it up.
Without hesitation I load it up with soap and lather away. It takes me moments to realize something isn't right. Babies. Little baby spiderlings all over my torso, upper body, and right arm. Drowning... hopeless, disgusting, 8 legged freaks. Mashed up, mangled and dispersed on my skin. Why I ever let the angsty, scandalous spiders stay in my house is beyond me now. Fuck yo reproduction system, fuck yo choice of nesting and apparently fuck my hospitality. | don't actually have friends. Spiders were the guest. Let spider guests stay in my home, loaded egg in fluffy loofah, ended up with spider babies on me. |
t3_1pqn7y | dating_advice | How do I [21 M] start talking to a girl [20 F] that I'm distant friends with? | First time I met her (we'll call her X) was my sophomore year of college at a dinner with a group of new friends. She was a freshman at the time, and I thought she was so cute. There was a little bit of flirting between us, but nothing came of it. I ended up in a relationship with another girl (we'll call her Y) that lasted a little over a year and a half. During that time, I only ran into X every once in a while at a social event or walking around on campus.
Since Y and I mutually broke it off, X has been on my mind a lot lately. I coincidentally started seeing her around more often than usual. A couple weeks ago, we both ended up in the back trunk of our friend's packed SUV while waiting for more friends to show up at a restaurant. Other than seeing her at random times, how do I start talking to her again? The last time I sent her a text message was almost 2 years ago. | Interested in a girl I flirted with almost 2 years ago. We only see each other every once in a while. How do I strike up a conversation (text her?) without seeming so random? |
t3_4g9gml | relationships | Somebody [18?/F] with the same name as me [18/F] has a terrible online presence, and I think it is what's in the way of me getting a job. Is there anything I can do? | I'm not sure if this is the right sub for this, but here goes. I need some advice.
I have a fairly unique name, so when you type me in on google you don't get overwhelmed with results of lots of people named "John Smith" or whatever.
I have been unsuccessfully applying to jobs. I recently got an email from a manager saying I wasn't selected for the position, and that I should be careful about how I present myself online. Confused by this, I googled myself, and learned that there is somebody else with the same name as me that has a horrible social media presence (like, definitely not somebody you hire).
How do I go about dealing with this? | A hiring manager recently told me that I didn't get a position because of the way I present myself online. I googled myself to learn that someone else has my name and people are confusing that person with me! |
t3_1vm8rn | relationships | Me [30 M] with my ex [30 F]. I work with her. Having trouble getting over her. | We were dating for about 5 months and everything was fun. We had some ups and downs, but nothing too bad. Long story short, I fell for this girl and she knew it. The last week we were "together" she became super distant and we had very little communication. This filled my head with doubts and worries, and after reaching out to her about it, she told me that she needed a break. I don't do breaks, so she ended it completely instead... and promptly started hanging out with another co-worker / acquaintance of ours. Which hurts. Bad.
So anyway, after about two weeks of trying no contact, things were just incredibly awkward at work. Also, a bunch of my co-workers and I car pool together to go snowboarding and I haven't gone because she goes every time. With her new friend I might add.
So I decided to reach out to her and talk about trying to get on better terms. The conversation went well, and I could tell that she was very much over me, and I made sure to keep myself in check during the talk so things didn't escalate into an argument or anything.
So now that just leaves me, in this horrible heart broken position. I'm trying to keep myself busy with other things (gym, snowboarding) and hanging out with friends outside of work as much as possible. Problem with that is, about 85% of my friends are co-workers, so it kind of limits my options as far as people to talk to about it.
My question is, what are the most effective ways to get over somebody that broke your heart? I've scoured the internet, listened to podcasts, listened to endless amounts of music, killing it at the gym, and gave my best friends too many ear beatings about it. And yet every minute, I'm thinking about her. I want her out of my head. Any suggestion Reddit? | I messed up and dated a girl at work. She dumped me for another guy, and I'm now having troubles getting over her. How the hell do I get over her, even though I have to see her every day? |
t3_128lj3 | AskReddit | My neighbours are noisy and I'm conflicted on how to deal with it. What would you do? | So I have bought my first house. It's a semi detached property that shares a wall with the neighbours. This shared wall is my bedroom wall and possibly their lounge. The neighbours are a low income family with young kids, their house is owned by the government and provided to them at low rent.
They have a tendency to watch television late into the night. I think they just leave it on while they sleep. It would be fine if they turned it down at 10pm, but they don't. It's often still loud at 2-3am. Probably later.
We have spoken to them in person a couple of times about the noise. They seem respectful and apologetic, but nothing ever really changes. After each complaint they are good for a few days before The noise returns.
Things have escalated lately. We have begun calling noise control to try and get the point across. We had noise control visit last night for the second time. This morning I woke up to the TV blaring at 6:45am. They usually respond to these complaints with a weak apology, blaming a child for it, or just saying they didn't know it was on. They don't seem to like taking responsibility for their actions.
Another factor to the story is that my girlfriend often suffers from insomnia and can have a great deal of trouble getting to sleep. She already uses ear plugs and a pillow on top of her head and can still hear noise through that.
If I was to call noise control on them twice within 72 hours, their TV will be confiscated.
How should I deal with this? I am currently saving money to have a soundproof wall put between us. I could conceivably have that work completed by the end of the month. Should I wait 72 hours before calling noise control again? Or should I just lay out the punishment in the hopes that they learn a lesson from it? I am concerned about some sort of retaliation from them. Taking their TV will probably piss them off. Continued complaints to the organisation could very well get them kicked out of that house - but I don't much want to do this to a young family. | Noisy neighbours, insomniac girlfriend. Not sure whether to get their TV confiscated. How should I proceed? |
t3_30davf | relationships | (17 F) My bf (18 M) of 1 year and 5 months says we don't have similar passions and we dont know how to approach the problem | I'm asking because my boyfriend and I are in a bit of a rut. He has hardly talked to me all week and just talks to his other friends and he's all lively and laughing and energetic with them. When i've asked him what's wrong he's just shrugged me off, saying he doesnt know.
Last night I asked if I said something to trigger this, and he said that he's just been thinking about whether or not we're compatible because we dont have similar passions. I mean we like the same tv shows but he's passionate about Magic TG, something which I've tries to get into for his sake but I just couldnt get into it. Whenever he talks to me about Magic I listen and try to feign interest, but ge said he'd rather talk to someone else about it because in the end "I don't care" (his words).
Im wondering if any other couples go through this, or whether or not similar interests/passions means something in a relationship. Ive always thought that as long as you have an underlying connection with that person then differenr interests would hardly mean anything, but now I dont know what to think. | my boyfriend and i fought because he thinks just because we dont share similar passions then we may not be compatible in a relationship. |
t3_1w8lnl | Advice | I made a poor buying decision, what's next? | I recently sold a vehicle and purchased a used diesel truck of the same value ($19,000). I was looking for specific things- and it is exactly what I was looking for- but it's also higher mileage (174,000mi). After a bit of research, I came to the conclusion that 174k isn't crazy for a diesel and started talking with the seller.
I found the truck on Craigslist, just out of the state and I met with the owner. Everything looked good on it, it was definitely well maintained and I didn't see any indicators of abuse or imminent failure. I asked the seller if he had any problems with it in the past, and he said that it had a radiator replaced about 60k miles ago. He also mentioned that the heater sucks in the winter, but I spoke with a mechanic friend about it and he told me that it shouldn't be much of an issue to fix. So I bought the truck and drove it home.
When I finally got it looked at, it turns out that the heater fix is more of a "replace expensive parts until we figure it out" game, and it's possible that one of the parts is a head gasket, which would cost me a third of the value of the truck to fix.
I'm very happy with the truck, I would love to keep it for a long time. But, now my dilemma is whether I fix the truck or try to resell it and buy something that is less problematic. It's certainly not the only truck out there, I can find another one that I like, but I'll have to find a buyer and that may be difficult (something I'm dreading because selling my other vehicle sucked). If I keep trying to fix it, I'm not sure that I'll ever get my return on investment.
So, what else should I consider before making a decision? | I bought a truck with a larger mechanical issue than I thought, now I'm trying to decide if it's worth fixing/keeping the truck. |
t3_2z4rxk | relationships | Less serious than other posts here. But I (17M) agreed to get coffee with an ex (16F) and my friend (16F) is pissed at me for it. | In order to comply with the rules - I've known both other people involved in this for about a year (hopefully that counts as length of relationship)
When I was with my ex (I'll call her N) my friend (who I'll call L) told me at the beginning of the relationship that I was an idiot for being with her. L told me that she used to be friends with N, but she turned into a bitch and didn't deserve me.
I later asked N about this and she explained that she went through a rough patch in her life, but she's out of it now. So I didn't hold it against her.
Well eventually N broke up with me because she wasn't fully over her ex. I was a bit upset about it so me and L went through a period of bitching about N to each other and generally agreeing that she sucks.
N generally seemed quite apologetic about the whole thing so I didn't *actually* hold much against her.
Well recently I've been talking to N again, and I agreed to get coffee with her on Tuesday. L is *PISSED*. Which I don't want because she's a pretty good friend. I want her to be my friend because she's pretty cool, but at the same time I'm trying to be a good person by being friends with N.
I mean, L doesn't really have a right to tell me what to do here. I know she's just trying to look out for me but she's being very very immature about it. She can't just tell me what to do. I understand where she's coming from but she's really really having a go at me for this when all I'm doing is getting coffee. She's telling me N is manipulative and just wants to use me, stuff like that. I honestly don't know if she's right, but I'm just trying to be friendly to N either way.
What do any of you make of this? | L hates N. N is my ex. I agreed to get coffee with N. L is pissed at me. What do I do? |
t3_1mx63z | dating_advice | M23 - advice on meeting new people | Hi,
I'm a 23yo male who would like some advice on how to meet new people that could lead to a romantic relationship. Even though I have a nice group of friends, I feel the need to have someone to share a closer relationship.
My experience is somewhat slim. My romantic relationships so far evolved from a previous friendship, and therefore the process of meeting someone new and start "dating" is unknown to me. In the last months, I have been trying to feel better with myself. I've started a journey to lose weight and to also let somewhat go of my (female) best friend who was/is extremely needy, controlling and manipulative. To make it clear, if I said something like "I feel the need to meet new people", the response would be something along the lines of "What? Are your friends not enough? This is unacceptable, it shows how much you changed, I don't know you anymore" and her being pissed off at least one week. So, I'm letting her go, I finally realized that this was the way to go, and I now feel more comfortable with it.
I consider myself a fun person, I'm seen in my group of friends as the funny one who can always shoot a quick line to make someone laugh. I go to the gym, work the rest of the day (a kind of work that doesn't allow for new acquaintances) and normally spend the nights at home watching some series unless I have something scheduled with my friends.
Any advice on how to get out there, meet new people and so on?
I find that even if I find new and attractive people during the day, at the gym or at some other place, it's not that "normal" to go around and start a conversation out of the blue. Am I wrong? | 23M wants advice on how to meet new people, after trying to be more confident about myself in the last couple of months. |
t3_169pw5 | relationship_advice | [29F] My boyfriend [31M] won't schedule our time together in advance | I've been dating a guy for about three months, though it seems like longer because we've been friends for a couple years. We've been spending a lot of time together and I like it. Usually we'll meet up Friday night and be together until Monday morning. And I might even meet up with him one night during the week too (but usually I won't spend the night during the week).
The only problem is that he is really hesitant to schedule any of this time in advance. I know he likes spending time with me. So why can't he just say, yeah, let's meet up Wednesday after your game? Instead, he will text me at the last second, with something like, "hey I made dinner do you want to stop by after volleyball and eat?"
I admit that I am anal about making plans, but I feel like I have to be! I'm on two teams, and I have a bunch of different friend groups. Also, I don't have a car, so I usually like to pack everything up for the day and take it with me to work, like my gym clothes, laptop, etc. I lug all this stuff around to whatever I'm doing after work because it's just easier than going home first.
It would be so much easier if I could know for sure if he wanted to see me that night, because I could bring a change of clothes, or not bother packing my heavy laptop, etc. Balancing my life without a car can be complicated, but I can manage it pretty well as long as I plan in advance!
Anyway, I don't want to be a nag about this. I want him to hang out with me because he wants to see me, not because he feels obligated. And as I said, I'm really happy with the amount of time we are spending together. I haven't had a boyfriend who liked hanging out with me so much in a long time, and I love it.
Should I just let it go? Should I use the no car explanation to make it seem less naggy? Should I wait until we are further along in the relationship to bring this up? I tried playing the conversation out in my head and I feel like I sound really anal and annoying. | My boyfriend is great and likes spending a lot of time with me but I wish I could get him to reserve time with me in advance |
t3_rnf96 | AskReddit | My roommate is the son of a CEO and I'm poor. | We were always able to get along until we started talking about his political views. He is angry that everything is unfair for the rich. He hates how his dad (but he says himself) has to pay pay "extra" taxes, as well as going on about how money is earned even though he was born with it. He tried to get me to believe that having the rich taxed less than other people is good for everyone.
I would be ok if he didn't let his wealth define him, but it does and I can't stand it anymore. Unfortunately I am usually the peace keeper so I haven't confronted him about how I feel. Whenever he goes on his little rich-kid rants I just want to rage everywhere about his words. What should I do? | My roommate is a super rich and takes that as his personality, I want to confront him but I don't know how to or even if I should. |
t3_usbjn | AskReddit | NVIDIA GT 525M or 610M? | Hey Reddit,
So I'm shopping online for laptops, and I received a coupon in the mail today. Long story short, I get $150 off a laptop at Costco. My dilema is this: I want a laptop thats decent for gaming, but it a reasonable price-range, and I'd like to get the most functionality for my buck.
First Laptop:
Second Laptop:
These are the two systems I've narrowed it down to at the moment, but can't tell which would be better to buy.
The Asus (first link) has a GT 610M GPU and Windows 7 Professional; the Dell has a GT 525M, Windows Home Premium, larger HD, bluetooth and a better disc tray. The Asus costs ~$800; the Dell about ~$700 (due to coupon). Both are 64-bit systems, both have 8GB RAM max, both have i7 quad-cores, same dimensions (roughly) and are about the same weight. | I can't figure out which is the better to buy, any insight about the difference in strength between the GPUs would be awesome. |
t3_4gcdgp | relationships | I[23M] am seeing a girl [24F] who just got out of a seven-year relationship. Looking for advice. | So I've been seeing this girl for around three weeks now.. beautiful, a lot in common, we get along great, the whole package. Problem was, she wasn't really putting out, meaning we haven't even kissed yet.
Yesterday I learned that she had recently (a month ago) gotten out of a 7-year relationship with a guy she's known pretty much her whole life, and that she's kinda new to being with other people.
So I did feel pretty superfluous for second there, thinking "how am I supposed to compete with that?". She says that she just needs time, but I've never been in a situation like this.
Out of your experience, would it be worth waiting and being patient with her? I'm definitely willing to, but it would help to know that there's even a chance for me to fill that massive gap her last boyfriend left behind. | Dating a girl who's last boyfriend was with her for seven years. What should I know about a situation like that? |
t3_3s1v3c | relationships | I [16M] am not sure if I love my girlfriend [16F] anymore, where should I go from here? | I've been dating this girl for almost 4 months now and while I know its stupid to talk about love and how it should be easy to break up with her because we've only been going out for 4 months I just don't know what to do. This is the first proper relationship me and her have both had. She doesn't have the faintest clue I don't really feel anything towards her anymore so I really don't want to catch her off guard when she's with me being happy to one moment me breaking up with her.
I'm just wondering whats the best way to go about this/what to do/say from here. She still loves me a lot but I don't anymore, I just want to cause her as little pain as possible. | I don't love my girlfriend anymore and she doesn't have a clue I don't and I want to cause her as little pain as possible. |
t3_rb2s2 | AskReddit | What's the dumbest reason you've (almost) gotten arrested? | For me it's gotta be last night. I'm 5 feet tall and 95 pounds, but 16 years old. Me and my friend were arguing over basketball and ended up fighting, like we always do, but we were in a McDonalds. Right away this giant owner of the McDonalds just kicks me out and calls the cops, saying, and I quote, "yeah these guys were brawlin' in the lobby of McDonalds". The cops come in less than a minute, expecting to break up a "brawl". The next conversation went something like this:
Cop: Wait, who was fightin'?
Owner: That kid in the green.
C: The green?
O: yeah.
C: (cop points to me) You, come here
C: What's goin on here?
Me: Nothing, me and my boy were just messin around.
Next, 4 more cop cars arrive, all expecting a brawl or something. They all start cracking up, and we just sorta joke around about it for a while. One of my buddies' brother is a cop in the same city, so that helped. | Had a brawl so big in McDonalds, the cops didn't even touch me and just left. Scared off 4 patrol cars. |
t3_2x4ddj | relationships | Me [27/F] with my friend [27/M]: What's the proper response to a friend saying "We're trying for a baby?" | This came up tangentially in a heated conversation I was having via chat a couple of days ago. I registered it but in the context of conversation didn't really address it- and now I feel terrible, like I should have acknowledged it somehow: it occurred to me (later) that I should be touched that my friend is sharing this with me, and probably should have abandoned the conversational thread we were on to focus on this since it's sort of big/personal news. What should I have said during conversation, and what can I say now?
"Congratulations" seems inappropriate since there's no good news yet (and in fact these friends are not trying yet, but he told me when they will start, which is soon). "Good luck"? That also seems weird?
I also want to know this for the future, since many of my friends are recently married and many others are getting married within a year and I think this will come up soon and often. For this specific friends, I have some hesitation for responding with excitement (though I know better than to give my honest opinion of course), but for others I will be genuinely and unreservedly excited- regardless, I want to know what one should say.
Also, I have no idea what the etiquette is for the next months/years regarding this information. I don't want to seem like I don't care- and yet ANY way I imagine to address the topic seems inappropriate. Insight would be appreciated! | My friend told me that he and his wife are trying for a baby. I want to know how I should have responded, how I can respond now, and how to respond when told this by other friends in the future. |
t3_2zxw4h | relationships | Is it acceptable to break up via text message? | I have a feeling that this is a given, but I'd like reddit's opinion anyway. Is it ever acceptable to break up with someone via text, or even a phone call?
My (28f) boyfriend (26m) and I have been seeing each other for 6 months and this weekend he visited a neighboring state to check out properties for his parents to buy and move to. He doesn't currently live with them, but he says he's planning on moving with them this summer, and wants me to go with them. I've been having doubts about the relationship for about a month now, and started feeling suffocated and his insisting that I move with them and that he wants to be with me forever is making that feeling worse. He's a great guy, and he's been there for me through some tough depression issues, and I'm going to miss him, but I just don't think I can move to another state when I'm having big doubts about the relationship. And I wouldn't want him to make the sacrifice to stay either. He's said it before, you can't force yourself to love someone no matter how much you want to. That being said, I know how to explain all of these things on paper, in person I'm afraid I'm just going to fall apart into a weepy mess, or be so damn panicked that I chicken out and just don't do it.
So, back to my main question, do I just need to grow a proverbial pair and do it in person? Also any advice on how to go about this would be greatly appreciated, its been a long time since I've done this. | I've been with a guy for 6 months, and decided to break up with him. Is it ok to do this over text, or do I need to push my anxiety to the side and do it in person? |
t3_10qqgd | relationship_advice | [22/f] Not sure if I should cut things off with [m/23] person of interest, of 5 mo. | I'm technically dating him, or not even his girlfriend, but we have grown close over the past half-ish of a year. He broke up with her ex-fiance this past winter and he didn't want to date anyone right away after that. We knew each other before the fact but started hanging out more often a few months after his break up. When he first said he liked me I was kind of taken aback but I had always kind of liked him but didn't try anything because of his engagement. Since he didn't want to rush into another relationship we agreed on being each other companions, cuddle buddies if you will. If anything it felt like a relationship, just without the title. It progressed to the point of cuddling, to making out, and eventually sleeping with each other at a fairly normal progression (cuddling right away; making out maybe a month or so in; sleeping 4 months in). I told him I eventually did want a relationship out of this and he accepted that and told me that when he was ready he would let me know. I figured being patient would eventually show him that I would make a good girlfriend. We act like a couple, it just doesn't have a title to it, and it may seem like a petty thing but it means a lot to me to have. I have stressed it to him recently that I want an answer soon because I'm beginning to worry that he may be using me. I have some pretty bad anxiety issues and this has not been helping me as of late with them. It's gotten to the point that I need to figure out if I need to move on or just keep up with patience. I truly do care about him, but I am lost on what to do. Any help? | In a relationship, just without a title, and need to know if he's ever plans on actually becoming a couple. |
t3_2xdmzw | relationships | Me [22 M] with m girlfriend [21 F] of two weeks, how can i say sorry, i think she thinks im nuts right now | Basically, we've been involved for a while since before christmas, but just started dating officially two weeks ago. I fucked up this week hard i guess. Shes been busy all week with studying and stuff and she lives right down the hall from me in our apartment building, and I havent seen her since sunday! Basically I just
have stressed her out a bunch because i'm always like "So can i see you for like 30 minutes?" And she always says no cause shes studying. Its bothered me more than she realizes I think that I haven't seen her all damn week.
So basically now like today I said the same thing and she was just like " you know ive been busy. and you've said you miss me 50 times now. " and i can tell shes definitely mad, and she probably thinks im like obsessive or crazy or something and I am not! I just haven't seen her face all week and i feel like most people would understand where I'm coming from! I apologized for being so pushy all week but I know shes mad or shes thinking about how crazy i've been and I want to apologize but i don't know what to say that I haven't already lol. I just said "Sorry babe I know i've been pushy this week. I just have been missing you thats all, and I know you've missed me just as much I just have been selfish about it without realizing it."
So reddit, help a brother out. How do I fix this, should I just wait? I'm so terrified that I changed her opinion of me by acting so foolish all week. | Acted crazy all week without meaning to, think I pissed off/shocked my girlfriend in doing so. Don't know what to do |
t3_2y16v2 | relationships | Me [25 M] and my complicated relationship with an old friend [23 F] | So I've had this friend for almost 10 years who we'll refer to as Mary for the purposes of this post.
Mary and I were thick as thieves for a few years after we met. We would text all day every day, and I'm talking hundreds of texts a day. We'd talk about everything - funny/embarrassing stories, loads of flirting and teasing, but we'd also confide in each other, comfort each other. It was as if it was just the two of us against the world!
Our friends used to ask when we were going to bang/get married and our families even used to ask if we were together all the time. My girlfriends would get jealous of Mary and Mary's boyfriends would get jealous of me. Of course our response was always "we're just good friends.", (a line that is almost never true).
This went on for about a year and a half maybe two years, yet nothing ever happened between us despite me knowing that I wanted this girl. Eventually we both entered into relationships and we stopped keeping in constant contact.
Fast forward a few years to about 5 months ago when my 4 year relationship came to an end. Mary messages me to see if I'm okay. I explained the situation and we got chatting again. Almost immediately, we are back exactly where we left off. We started talking about the days when we were so close, I told her how I had a huge crush on her back then and she told me all about how her ex used to look through her messages when she was sleeping and how she dumped him because he kept asking about me.
So now we're back to texting all day, every day. One day there were 400 messages back and forth. It's as if we'd never stopped talking. The only problem is, she moved overseas last year and won't be coming back until at least summer.
Something in me tells me that Mary is the right girl for me. She's amazing. She's intelligent, attractive, like minded, she's always there for me, and she's always right! I just don't know if she is interested in me in that way, and I'm worried I'll scare her off if I tell her how I feel. | Old friend back on scene, however living overseas for next six months. Don't know whether to make a move now, wait until she's home, or just ride it out and keep the friendship |
t3_nc5ri | AskReddit | so, on a scale of "Jim Halpert" to "Mike the Situation" how much of a douche am i for hooking up with a girl who is in a serious relationship? | alright... so heres the deal... i have known this girl for a while but we have never caught each other at the right time, both single and in the same city and whatnot.
so, tonight we are hanging out, just watching a movie and all that jazz. and she tells me that she is planning on breaking up with her bf of almost a year, he lives in out of the country and they dont see each other very often.
well, i feel bad for the guy but im also excited that we might actually have a shot and, well, things got a little out of control... we didnt have sex, we didnt even get naked, but we made out and things got really hot. i rubbed her through her pants and she stroked me through mine.
so... as things were calming down and we were laying together, talking, she admits to me that she isnt actually planning on breaking up with him any time soon... and, actually, she is planning on going to visit him for a few weeks over the holidays and that she isnt sure whats going to happen...
well, all of a sudden i have jumped from being a guy who is a little quick on the draw (i thought they were gonna break up like... idk... thursday) to a guy who is clearly party to infidelity. so, how much of a douche does that make me? | girl told me she was breaking up with her bf, we hooked up, she tells me she isnt breaking up with him, am i a douche? |
t3_1qq1q3 | relationships | 27F thinking about friend-dumping someone, also 27F | I have a friend, let's call her Jane, who I've known for about 8 years now. I'm thinking about friend-dumping her. Also probably relevant, we don't live close by so most of our interactions are by phone/text.
She is hard to describe. She is very beautiful, extremely wealthy through her husband, very intelligent, and very successful. We both work in the same field, and she's always been just a little more successful than me. I've always struggled with feelings of jealousy toward her. She came into money easily while I struggled to pay my bills; she is one of those people who eats anything she wants and has a perfect body; life just seems to come really easily to her.
She doesn't have much grace about her situation. She seems to mostly think that she's better than everyone else. Maybe the most frustrating part is that sometimes I think she's right. I honestly think she could be impressive and successful at anything she set her mind to.... she could be a model or a rocket scientist or anything else she wanted.
She has such strong opinions about things that our conversations often feel very one-sided. She gets aggressively mean when people disagree with her, so often I find myself just kind of nodding along with whatever she's talking about, because I don't have the interest or energy to argue with her. This tendency has gotten more extreme over the years.
It has gotten to the point where I feel like I get very little out of our friendship. When I try to talk about what's going on in my life she often rapidly changes the conversation back to herself.
Every now and then we have a great conversation, or she'll give me a particularly brilliant piece of advice, and I remember why we're friends. But that hasn't happened in a long time, and I find myself avoiding conversations with her.
It feels mean and petty to tell her that I don't really enjoy our friendship anymore and I think she's too self-involved, materialistic, and vain. That's how I feel. Should I let the friendship keep limping along or dump her? | Rich brilliant beautiful vain superficial mean friend. Keep friendship going by pretending to agree with her about everything or cut her out of my life? |
t3_4d3kdf | relationships | Me [26 M] and my [21 F] girlfriend fight in front of our six month old baby | It seems like every Saturday (I work Mon-Fri, 9-5) me and my girlfriend get into a fight over something very trivial. Today she was laying down holding the baby and the baby threw up. Instead of handing her wipes, I threw them to her. I didn't mean to be mean at all! They landed on here stomach. I did this because it was all over the bed and I was just reacting fast. Anyways, we end up fighting for 45 minutes over this and now old arguments we have. The whole time this is going on she is holding the baby and screaming at me. I have a very carefree attitude and I don't know if I'm dealing with an irrational person or I'm not sensitive and deserve this. I had to leave our condo and drive around. It gets physical sometimes. | We argue in front of our baby while she's holding her and wont put her down in the other room. She turns it into screaming and it gets a little physical. I love my daughter so much |
t3_ara9e | relationship_advice | In and out of the friendzone then back in awkwardly, and need help | Sokay, here is my situation. There is a girl that I dated back in HS, and fell in love with. We didn't take long cause she wasn't allowed to date at that age. Fast forward to grade 12, where she started to date her on again off again boyfriend. Boyfriend and I became good friends (important note here)
In my second year of college, they broke up for a while. Me still being in love cause I can not get over her, tried to comfort her. One night we did sleep together, but she didn't want a relation ship. Week later she is back with boyfriend from before, (my friend, he doesn't know) Things have been weird, but still friendly.
Fast forward to today. Boyfriend and Her finally broke it off, and for good this time. I want to be the next guy she is with, but I am not sure how to approach this. | I wanna date someone who dated a friend of mine on and off, and while they were off once I slept with her. Advice? |
t3_ep7ji | AskReddit | I'm about to be dead in the water, and now I'm considering getting a second BA in CS after I finish my BA in English in the Spring. Any pointers? | So, I guess I'll just be honest. I didn't really know what I wanted to do when I first got into college, so I just picked English by default and then went through the motions. Now, I have one semester left. All my English classes are done and I just have to take my exit requirements. Earlier this year, however, I started realizing that I wanted to get my degree in Computer Science (I'm tech competent: webdesign/software), but I figured I might as well finish my BA in English. Is this a bad idea? Should I just skip this next semester and go straight into CS classes?
Any pointers, in general? | Made a huge mistake and got a BA in English. Now I'm about to graduate and am going to be dead in the water, and want to go back for my BA in CS. |
t3_2wagg3 | personalfinance | Taxes | Hi all. Lifeprotips didn't like this info a few years ago under an alt, but here it is. I'm going to try to help you out with my experience.
**H&R Block**
This is basically a scam. I'm really not kidding. A friend of mine ended up owing the IRS nearly $3,000 because H&R Block made a mistake - and they refused to honor the insurance she had purchased. They totally left her holding the bag. I urged her to get an attorney but she felt she couldn't afford it.
Another friend of mine worked for them. She quit from the stress - the stress of doing taxes when she had NO idea what she was doing. She had no background in finance or taxes, and they gave her a very short tutorial, just a couple of hours - and set her loose on complicated returns. She knew she was making huge mistakes and was messing up people's lives.
You are better off doing your own taxes than letting H&R Block do them! You have the same qualifications as the guy behind the counter.
**TurboTax**
The one year I tried TT, I filled out everything & got my return. It said I would owe $900. I sent off my return then to my CPA who has been doing my taxes for many years, and ended up with a nearly $7,000 refund. His bill was high, but it was worth every penny!
I don't trust TurboTax any more. If you have a simple refund, you can do your taxes yourself. If it is even slightly complicated, a good accountant will be worth their weight in gold! If your accountant gets the same answer as TurboTax, he is no good. Find someone else. | the tax code is way too complicated for untrained yahoos, or a computer program that won't look at your individual situation and find the best deal for you. There's a reason people train for years to become CPAs. |
t3_171inj | Pets | How to feed 2 cats separate diets | Hello r/pets. Today we took our almost 5 year old girly cat to the vet. She had been peeing outside the box almost her whole life. We summed this up to us getting her really young. Recently we noticed her pee seemed kind of orange, then after closer inspection, we realized it was blood. At the vet, they informed us that my kitty has FLUTD. (or Feline Lower Urinary Tract Disease)
My kitty now has to be on a separate diet than the other cat at home. She is taking antibiotics to cure an infection that she has as well. My problem is feeding her. She doesn't seem to like being fed away from her usual spot. I secluded her in my bedroom, and stayed in the room with her leaving the other cat out. She ate a little after about an hour past her usual feeding time. The problem is that she likes to munch a little at a time through out the night. And the other cat just sits outside the door and waits for us to open up. I feel so bad for him to, he isn't use to being without his friend.
The second I opened the door, the other cat came running in and started eating her diet food even though he had his own normal food in his bowl. So reddit, has anyone else been in a similar situation, had experience with FLUTD, or have any real suggestions on how to handle feeding time? I really can't afford to feed them both the diet food, since 24 cans cost about $41. | Kitty needs to be fed a separate diet from her other kitty friend. How do I keep the non-diet kitty from eating her food and not feel lonely? |
t3_30rrgr | relationships | Me [23 M], with my girlfriend [28 F], 3 months, should I cut it short or put time into the relationship? | Introduction:
After 3 years without looking for a serious relationship, I started looking for something more... long term (AKA not a one-night stand or a fuck friend).
I started dating a girl 3 months ago. She is 5 years older than me, have not been in a long term relationship in 5 years, and she also started looking for something serious recently.
Problem:
Right now, our relationship is good, we are getting along pretty well and we share some passions in common. Sadly, I've got this feeling that I know we won't last. I know that I will get tired of some of her bad habits and our ways to see the world are too different for a long term relationship. But, at the same time, I hesitate to follow this feeling for a number of factors:
-We both have not been in a serious relationship in more than 2 years, so maybe we are just learning again how to date, open up to somebody else and interact in a couple?
-Maybe it's because the relationship is fresh and we need some time to adapt to eachother?
Questions:
Should I talk to her about it? (but, if we are able to work it out, I don't want to scare her with this);
Should I follow my feeling or should I wait a little bit to see if it's still there in 2-3 months?
Is it be better to end the relationship now because, if it ends in the near future, she wouldn't be as hurt as if it lasted 6 months or more? | I've got a feeling it won't work out in the long run, should I continue to see if it's a fake intuition or stop my relationship right now? |
t3_1oo1ca | jobs | Should i take the job??? | I've worked for an entertainment company, let's call them Xcorp for over 5 years now. These people are like family to me. It's a great company. We do a lot of business. I've learned a lot and we have exciting things in the works. Just a year ago I moved to Los Angeles where i opened up our West Coast office. The office is very small, sometimes just me, but it's great to set my own hours etc.
The downside is that my title is Director when it should probably be VP. And my salary/compensation package well below market value. Think a little over mid five figures. I think if i stay with them through the end of this year, i can get a title bump and small raise. Maybe 10K, if i'm lucky. I'd still be underpaid and not really happy about it.
Now company ABC has come into the mix. They really want to hire me. They're a small company so we'd be starting from scratch. I'd be the #2 guy over there. They company is owned by a larger conglomerate, so we'd have plenty of resources and support. I would be getting a full title bump - Director to VP and my salary would be increased about 40K base. I'd also get on-screen credits for shows i create (as opposed to now.) I need to let this company know by Monday if i want the job.
And there's one last angle to consider. There's another company, MBR, that i'm up for a job for. It's come down to me and three other people. I still have a few more rounds of interviews to go through, so I won't know if they want to hire me until probably November. The title Director, but the company is much bigger, international and sort of uniquely positioned. It would really be an SVP Job. And it would pay more than triple what I make now.
What do you guys think I should do? Take the job at company ABC? Turn down the opportunity at ABC and play out MBR? Or stick with Xcorp.
I guess this is a good position to be in, but i'm seriously stressed out. | Stick with my current company and maybe get some of what i want? Go to new company right now for almost everything I want? Or wait and see about a third interesting job with huge salary? |
t3_2fgcy9 | running | Intense calf pain from barefoot running | So a few weeks ago, I bought a pair of Vibram Five Fingers. I had run a little bit before, read about the awesomeness of barefoot running, and learned that it is good for flat feet, so I gave them a try.
I started off with just walking around in them (running errands, looking and feeling like a douche)
On Monday night, I went for a 2.5-kilometre run and has no serious pain. I learned quickly that I had to run more on the balls of my feet.
So, come Thursday, my calves are still killing me. I have a Tough Mudder-type event coming up next Saturday (Sept. 13) and I was hoping to use the barefoot shoes for that event. Is that too short of a timeline? | Ran barefoot, calves hurt; I have nine days until I'm supposed to run a 7-kilometre obstacle race. Should I try barefoot or just stick with regular running shoes? |
t3_kfklt | personalfinance | My odd road to a good credit score. Do not try at home? | A few months ago, early June, I applied for a credit card for the sole purpose of building a credit history. I had never had any bills or loans in my name before so this was to be my first line of credit. I chose the Capital One Journey, a "starter" card perfect for my situation. I was approved instantly, received the card, and started using it. A lot. I hadn't heard the tip about keeping utilization low, so the first month I had it I maxed out the limit, thinking this would be *good*. I even went over a little somehow, 524/500. I did pay off the full balance, on time. The next month I wised up, keeping utilization lower. However, I went on vacation for a bit and forgot about the payment deadline, resulting in a late payment (a few days maybe, I forget). At this point my score on creditkarma.com was showing up as 619, poor. What I noticed though was that my outstanding balance in the report still read $524, my balance from my first month that I'd already paid off, in full, on time. I continued to check my score fairly frequently, and even come mid-August creditkarma still thought I had a balance of $524 on my credit cards. Then one day, finally, the balance updated to show everything as being paid off, 2 months after the fact, and my credit score also updated... 720, "good". I had been hopeful my score would slowly recover after my dodgy first couple months, but a sudden 100 point jump? I was happy to say the least. Since then it has held steady, and I've been using my card much more responsibly.
So, was my experience weird? What kind of score do most people have after only having a card for 3 months? Was what I did some kind of exploit, or would my score be even higher if I hadn't fucked up the first couple months? Please, discuss. | maxed out credit card 1st month, late payment 2nd month, credit score jumped 100 points to 720 at mid-3rd month, "good" level, despite arguably irresponsible use. Weird? |
t3_1k899p | offmychest | I just sat there and watched him eat it | I was the a baseball game over the weekend with a bunch of friends. There was this couple in front of us. mid 30's, that were very nice, eating a "helmet of nachos" (a plastic baseball helmet filled with nachos). Well they got up and put the helmet on the ground. An inning goes by and they aren't back and i have to go pee, so instead of making everyone get up i climb down a row. I saw the helmet full of nachos and cheese, i tried to avoid it, but then i realized my foot was inside covered in cheese and chips. I quickly ran to the bathroom and washed it off and went piss. i come back and act like nothing happen (even though everyone saw me do it). 20 minutes later, guess who shows back to their seats? Yep, they come back and he looks hungry. He immediately picked up the helmet and smashed the rest. I just sat right behind him thinking "i should probably say something" butttt i didn't. | at a baseball game, couple in front of me eating helmet of nachos, they leave for a little, i step in nachos on accident, i watch guy eat those nachos, i don't say anything. |
t3_3czmal | relationships | I [20F] Get Jealous of my Boyfriend's [20M] Relationship with His Sister [22F] | We've been dating for 3 months and I've let him know that I get jealous of his female friends. He's hasn't cut off friendships with them despite me asking him to, but he does try to make me feel included. I have been having other jealousy issues as well that I haven't been able to tell him about yet. It's embarassing but I get jealous of his sister, they're pretty close and I feel sometimes like there's tension between her & I. I don't suspect that there's anything weird about their relationship but I just don't like him spending time with another female, and I myself am an only child so I don't necessarily understand his relationship with her if that makes sense. I know being jealous isn't a good thing but I think it's judt because this is my first relationship, and I'm not insecure or anything either. I don't think I'm unattractive, I'm just quite introverted and never wanted to be in a relationship before, and I'm from a Latin American family who is 1st gen immigrants so they are quite religious and not very Americanized. Please help | I'm jealous of my boyfriends relarionship with his sister, don't know how to tell him or what to do about it. |
t3_jqlt1 | loseit | Girlfriend is depressed, upset about her weight. How do I help her? | First of all, throw-away account.
I'm an active member of /r/LoseIt. I've lost nearly 50 lbs in the last 5 months through a slight diet change and a boat load of exercise. I started biking to work and running. I'm currently up to running 6 miles in an hour.
I did all this because my girlfriend and I made a pact in January to lose weight. I kept up my end of the bargain and she went the opposite way: she gained 30 lbs.
She weeps/complains almost daily about the way she looks and then eats a pack of cookies after I tell her she's beautiful. She's also taken a defensive stance on my weight loss, saying that she's afraid she's going to lose me and she wants me to stop. Any attempts on my end to get her to go to the gym (as expected) get translated as a personal attack on her.
She's been really depressed for about a year because of something that happened at her job. She can't seem to move on from it. I've talk with her all the time about it, I've tried to get her to see a shrink, tried to help her work on getting another job: all futile. This "depression" (not officially diagnosed) has been affecting other part of her life: she doesn't do any chores, doesn't want to go out, doesn't want to hang out with other people. It's a complete transformation from the person I fell in love with.
I feel terrible about even typing this, but her new demeanor and added weight makes me less attracted to her; a little more-so each day.
I love this woman. I know that if I can get her to start taking care of her body, all the other aspects of her life will snap into place. How do I help her? | Girlfriend is "depressed"; gained a good amount of weight, how do I help her to lose the weight? |
t3_4y7gia | relationships | Me [14/M] with my friend [14/M]. He tried to talk my at the time GF [14/F] into sleeping with him. | I was starting junior high at that time (Me and GF were 13 then and had been together since 6th grade)
When the first week had gone by, we both had made some new friends, two of my friends (Lets call them F and E) had known eachother since kindergarten and were really close and I was becoming besties with F aswell.
So all was well until this year came around, and my GF confessed that F had been trying constantly to get her into his bed via text.
This fact made me start boiling in anger since I had seen him as my best friend for nearly a year and shared a ton of good experiences with him.
And now here I am, having occasional awkward conversations with the guy who wanted to fuck one of his best friends GF while knowing we had been together for over 2 years. | New best friend tried to constantly get laid with my GF, don't know what the hell I'm supposed to do. |
t3_3b1oby | relationships | Me [19M] And my Girlfriend[18F] of 2 years, going through a rough patch. Looking for input. | My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost 2 years now (with a 3 month break at the beginning of freshman year). We go to the same school and are home for the summer.
And even though we live close, we are starting to have problems. We never fight, but that's mostly because she will never bring up what is bothering her. I try to get her to talk and open up but mostly it is to no avail.
This summer away from our university, we are both living at "home" again. Except my dad ditched me and the only place I could afford was an extra room with my brother. Because of the lack of familial support which kind of blindsided me, I am poor. Which is an understatement. I've budgeted about 46$ for the whole summer that I can spend on fun stuff. But she has seemed very sad and distant. Finally she told me that "I just feel like we're in a shitty point in our relationship because all we do is hang out in that damn apartment.I just feel like we're in a shitty point in our relationship because all we do is hang out in that damn apartment."
I don't know how to deal with this. She comes from a wealthy family, has tons of disposable income, yet we can never do anything except hang out here because she won't pay for anything and I can't.
I know my problems seem very tame compared to a lot of yours, but I have about 1 friend besides her and he is in California. I could use some input. Thanks reddit! | Very loving girlfriend is getting really distant and questioning relationship because I'm too poor to go on dates and she feels more like a fuckbuddy than a significant other. |
t3_4f6wxw | pettyrevenge | Everyone has a weakness | This morning, I was walking between terminals in the Minneapolis airport. A bunch of us got stuck behind a group of 8 teenage girls slowly walking side by side. Side by side, 8 deep! I fly over 100 times a year, but I'd never seen anything like this - a human traffic jam caused by 8 oblivious idiots. 8 obliviots.
More than two dozen people and an airport cart driving an elderly woman frustratedly walked behind them. They ignored people's polite requests of "excuse me", angry pleas of "I have a flight to catch!" and even the beeping of the cart. And this was not a mall or a park - this was an airport, where delaying someone else by even a minute can destroy their day.
Meanwhile, they loudly gabbed about what cute boys they liked - as if sticking to script from an Archie comic. While they physically blocked the entire hallway, they were emotionally two-dimensional.
Finally, the hall widened enough for us to walk around them. I hung back and let everyone else go ahead of me, as I had some leeway before my connecting flight. As the mess cleared, I walked by the gaggle, then stopped in front of them, turned around, and said, "I think it's wonderful that there are still teenage girls willing to hang out with a friend who is clearly so much uglier than the rest of the group". And then I kept walking.
I didn't even get to the end of the hall before I heard them fighting about who I meant.
For the sake of the people on whatever flight they're eventually on, I hope they're now giving each other the silent treatment. | You want to ruin 20 people's days? I will ruin your entire vacation. And perhaps the rest of high school. |
t3_4oqofr | relationships | Me [17M] unable to tell my parents (40s m/f] that they shouldn't plan anything for my 18th birthday party because I have no friends | I don't have the heart to break it to my parents that I can't have an eighteenth birthday party, or do anything for my eighteenth birthday party, because I have no friends.
My 18th birthday is coming up in August, and I'm very worried and scared and embarrassed about it. I just know it's going to be terrible, and I'm going to fill like utter shit throughout it. I don't have any friends at all, and it a fucking kills me; I have no meaningful attachments with anyone my age, no genuine friendships, I am worthless to everyone and am genuinely suffering a sort of crippling loneliness. Scrolling through social media like Facebook or Twitter or Snapchat is very painful, seeing how popular and likeable people are and seeing them do amazing and fun things with their friends...and it both devastates me and makes me insanely jealous. Seeing people go to parties, have fun, go on road trips, go on holidays, just hang out...I've never experienced anything like that. Hell, the last time I remotely did anything with another person was a year ago. Every day I spend in my house, on the Internet...and that's it.
My twin sister has been going on recently about how excited she is for our birthday and how she's got all these amazing plans with her friends. It kills me inside. She has a really large friendship group and she goes out every night and there's me like a fucking loser at home, again, watching TV or something until I just fall asleep.
So I have absolutely no one to invite to an eighteenth birthday party, but my parents keep insisting that I should do something and invite "my friends". I don't have the heart to tell them their son is a worthless, unlikeable, unsocialble friendless person. Any advice? | Eighteen male. Have no friends. How do I tell my parents that no one will turn up for anything I plan on my birthday? |
t3_36dqpj | weddingplanning | Our DJ RSVP'd with a +1 even though we didn't give him one and now he's begging... | My MOH spent all weekend with him and at no point did he mention a girlfriend or wanting to bring a date. He's a friend who is also a laptop DJ traveling from St Louis and we're paying him.
When the RSVP arrived, I saw he'd written "2" when we specified that we were "reserving 1 spot in your honor" so I asked if the addition might be one of his kids, who he was having trouble finding childcare for but who wouldn't attend the reception. He responded that it's a girlfriend (news to all of our mutual friends). I responded to him that we have to limit attendance to those listed on the invitations (hello), and only gave +1s to those who are engaged/married in the interest of space (read: money). He pressed the issue and said if she's sitting with him at the DJ table, would that make a difference? I responded that as much as we would have loved to have had all our friends invite +1s, we just can't honor some and not others. Then he responded that he'd like to pay for her.
We're over our attendance by about 15 people per our catering quote, every person counts now. We had two other family members write in +1s but their circumstances made it ok, long story short.
Honestly, I'm torn between telling him a flat no or saying fine but we're not paying you for the gig. I mean, honestly. Don't put me in the position of saying that it's a money thing and then offering to pay for her... Do I just give in, knowing there are at least three friends who we didn't give +1s to (who we knew about their SOs, they just aren't serious)? Help me, Reddit. I'm about to get real bitchy over here. | DJ invited a girlfriend no one knew existed without asking and is now begging to bring her in spite of me explaining why he shouldn't |
t3_3ytc68 | tifu | TIFU my coffee, too | My SO and I made potato soup two nights ago. It wasn't completely cooled off by the time we headed to bed, but we popped it into the fridge anyhow. The fridge would have to work overtime to keep its temperature low, but no biggy right? That's what fridges are supposed to be able to handle.
In the morning I made coffee for me and my SO. I poured the flavored creamer into my cup only to see spoiled tendrils floating around. Gross! It bummed me out, but that creamer was near its expiration date anyways. I dumped my cup out in the sink; no coffee for me, unless the SO shared his. I pull out the gallon jug of milk, still pretty full, and pour it into my SO's cup... and it was also spoiled. WTF. It had another week and a half to go. No coffee for either of us, then.
That's when we noticed the entire fridge interior was the same temp as the rest of the house. The damn fridge must've given up on cooling overnight, and a few other foods spoiled as well. I've been nervous about eating that soup since then, but haven't gotten food poisoning... yet. | Hot soup in a cold fridge made all our creamer and milk go bad, so we got no coffee for breakfast the next day. :( |
t3_2hafq9 | relationships | My [22 F] boyfriend [24 M] of 1.5 years broke up with me out of the blue to be "free". | Is that a thing that happens? Can a person really change overnight and go from feeling love for a person to nothing at all because they don't want to be linked romantically to anyone? He said that he doesn't want to be tied to anyone, doesn't matter how supportive they are. He doesn't want a partner. He wants to go out and do things and think of no one but himself because that's what makes him happy.
He said that there was nothing wrong with me. It wouldn't matter if I was the most perfect and amazing girlfriend on the planet, he just doesn't want to be in a relationship right now. I can't wrap my head around this. We've been through so much, have a million in-jokes, have so many memories and photos. The night before we broke up he told me about how much he loved me.
We had plans this week to meet up. We were going to go on a hike, and to a friend's party. We have plans for the next few months, and now he wants nothing to do with me. He said he'd pay me back for the vacation we're going on in November.
How can I react to this? We were talking about moving in together, that he was going to support me through my studies and then when I finish we'd move to another state together.
I called him today. I couldn't help it. I wanted to see if there was anything left. Doesn't look like it. He was annoyed and said that he doesn't want to talk if I want to get back together. How could I not? Yesterday morning we had plans to go out and spend a wonderful day together. I got to his place, and he'd changed his mind and we broke up instead.
I don't know what to do, or how to react, or how to possibly be okay with anything. I've been in a number of relationships and I guess I thought he was the love of my life. We'd talked about kids and engagement. In the phone call today, he said "people change, and I don't want to be in a relationship".
Help? | Boyfriend randomly broke up with me after 1.5 amazing years together because of a need he has to be "free". |
t3_247z6x | relationships | My [19M] girlfriend got so drunk and said she wanted to fuck other guys | Hey guys, my girlfriend and I have been dating for 1.5 years. She is in high school and I'm in college. We met in high school talked for a long time then finally started dating.
Last night she had a party at her house. I didn't go. She invited me, but I didn't feel like going. So apparently she got blackout drunk and did some stupid stuff. She threw up, and made a fool of herself.
I trust her. I decided to read her texts to see what her friends said about last night. Apparently her friend was texting her (lets call him M) and it said "you were getting carried up the steps and you were like wheres M I wanna fuck him."
I read this and my heart sank. She then replied "Listen. I need to tell those girls thank you because i'm such a fuckboy. And apparently I was saying that about a lot of guys so don't think too much into it."
I don't know what to think. Anyone who could chime in on this situation please do. I could really use some help with these mixed emotions. | I read my girlfriends texts and I don't know what to think. I'm having mixed emotions because she was drunk / blacked out. No she was not drugged. |
t3_27bqat | relationships | I [25F] need someone to talk some sense into me over my jealousy of my ex [25M] | My ex and I were together for half a decade. We traveled for 2 weeks to Greece last December and broke up shortly after. In Greece, we made about 5 or 6 friends who I still keep in touch with on Whatsapp and through social media. I talk to 3 of them about once a month and we are very close friends. We have a group on whatsapp where we sometimes share updates but I don't post in that anymore because my ex is in it and we are not on speaking terms.
Today I get a message in the group text from my ex saying "I will be in Greece soon. I bought the ticket on a whim. Hope you guys can meet up" this is making me feel extremely annoyed for a few reasons. First, I'm jealous that he gets to see our friends and I don't. Second, I'm worried that the friends are going to start liking him more than me after the trip which I know is very immature but I can't help how I feel. Third, I feel like my ex purposely wrote in the group message so that I would know that he is going. We are not connected on any social media sites anymore and that is the only way I could find out. He could've texted our friends on whatsapp individually if he wanted to avoid me. I just want to feel indifferent towards this and it's really bothering me that I care so much Any advice? | my ex is going on a trip to a country where we have a lot of mutual friends and it's really bothering me |
t3_4ovqap | askwomenadvice | [M25] Why would [F24] ignore messages or flake instead of just saying "I change my mind?" | this is the third time i've been burned like this.
and this time she did this after I told her about how this was done to me before.
Please tell me this is just badluck and not a thing girls do regularly, because I am considering giving up.
Ladies, why would a girl make weekend plans with a guy, and then ignore messages.
first time she did this, she said she fell asleep. Not the first time i heard this from a girl, but I forgave her. Because we are in medschool, and sometimes people crash.
Then we agreed to go to the movies together. SHE was the one that suggested it. Said she wanted a "movie buddy." So I agreed.
Second time, flaked a message after the exam. she said "sorry i just saw this, I thought you meant the weekend." ok, strike 2, but plausable. Maybe I misunderstood what she meant by "after exams"
"The weekend is perfect" she says.
Saturday comes. I asked what movie she wanted to watch, and no answer. 2 hours later, i send a "hello?" no answer. Doesnt say she "read" it, but it says she was "Active 1 minute ago" and clearly online.
...24 hours later, now sunday night, i decided to just send a "sorry, things are piling up, cant do movies." because honestly it seemed like she was going to flake again any way.
and she is still posting stuff on facebook. she is clearly on there.
Why couldnt she just say she changed her mind instead of making me THINK i have plans.
Can someone give me insight as to why a girl would do this. This is real blow to my already-low self esteem, being single for about 4-5 years now. | Girl made plans with me (her idea), really looked forward to a date, and now ignores messages. Being flaked on has happened to me before. Why not be direct with rejection. |
t3_3ap48c | relationships | Me [27M] and my [29/F] girlfriend are very abusive towards each other. I want to end this toxic relationship but she won't allow it. | If I try and break up with her, she flips out and starts making threats about how she'll 'tell everyone what I'm really like' etc.
Despite abuse being prevalent on both sides (not justification), I fear this greatly due to the male usually coming out looking worse in this kind of situation. For example, when we argue, she'll really shout and scream in a manner that'll make other people believe she's being attacked. She also hurts me and makes threats to tell other people about what I'm like if I resist.
I've tried unsuccessfully to get her to understand that not all relationships are destined to work out. All I hear is stuff like 'if you don't make an effort, you've obviously never loved me'.
This has happened many times, always resulting in us giving it another shot. Rinse, lather, repeat.
It's a situation I struggle to see a viable way out of. Of course, I could suck it up, and accept being labelled as an abuser for the rest of my life. I'm aware of how disgusting my behaviour was, don't get me wrong, I am fully committed to self-improvement in that department.
I do feel that I'm deserving of this due to my past behaviour. I'm also well aware that there will be people who will say I'm scum etc. I don't deny it, but I'm looking to better myself.
We have been together for 5 years. | Couple are abusive to each other. Guy wants amicable breakup, but girl threatens to tell everyone about his abuse if he does. |
t3_3b74im | tifu | TIFU by almost letting my friend die. | So we're at lunch right, and everything's going great, then my pal (calling him Dave) decides it would be funny to eat a banana while making I contact with someone else. So I tap on some random guy's shoulder and he turns around. Dave then proceeds to give the banana a bj .
Then it occurs to me the guy he's doing it to is gay. And Dave doesn't know.
So at this point I've realized that, and I just lose it. Dave thinks it's due to his antics so he begins to step it up a couple notches. Rubbing his nipples and moaning. The gay guy is halfway between bemused and amused at this point. I'm literally on the ground gasping for air.
Then Dave deepthroats the banana. Then it breaks. In his throat.
See it broke in such a way that he couldn't cough or pull it back out, and too big to swallow. So Dave is literally choking, but I didn't know that. In between my bouts of laughter, I look up, see him choking, and laugh even harder. I'm thinking, man he's really into this. He even made himself get red in the face and everything. He gestures to me frantically, and again I keep laughing thinking it was all part of the act.
Then the gay guy got up and gave him the Heimlich maneuver. Then Dave to was gasping for air. He owes him his life now. | Friend chocked on a banana while trying to be funny; I almost let him die because I thought it was all an act. |
t3_3pmy9p | legaladvice | Wage discrepancy problems. **[MD]** (sorry, couldn't edit old title.) | [MARYLAND] So I just read an article on the front page about an Autistic man having wage discrepancy issues with his job. I did not realize until further reading links exactly how illegal this was. I worked at [*major* pizza chain redacted] earlier this year and at one restaurant I was always asked to clock out before my shift ended. I told them I couldn't do that but they gave me some BS reason as to why I had to. I am a 20 year old college student and can't really be choosy if I have a job because I need the money. I no longer work there and am now employed at a store with a strict work hours policy where even if your over your given hours, if you're asked to keep working or have something to finish up you can't clock out (To which I'm extremely thankful for!).
Something else I might mention is that even when I clocked out early (because I was told to by head managers) at [*major* pizza chain redacted], I still had about and hour to and hour and a half work left to do every night. | worked at [*major* pizza chain redacted], was always asked to clock out about an hour and a half before I could actually leave. Sometimes asked to clock out even before my scheduled shift was over. |
t3_1979y1 | relationships | My boyfriend has become distant, how do I tell him I'm concerned without sounding like I'm attacking him? 24F and 24M, been together a year. | My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over a year. He was the first to tell me he loved me, although he never says it anymore. When I asked him about this, he said he "shows" me he loves me and that should be enough. He was right, I've always felt loved so I let it go, but I've never understood why it suddenly became impossible for him to say.
Last week his friends decided to go to a strip club and wanted him to come. He was really excited and this made me feel insecure. I told him I was uncomfortable about it, but that hasn't changed his mind. They are making plans to go next week.
These past few months he has become distant. He hardly touches me if it doesn't involve sex and he acts like me showing affection is annoying(Maybe this is because I've crossed over into clingy, I don't know). Lately I feel more like a very good friend rather than a girlfriend. He battles anxiety so I've tried to keep my concerns to myself, hoping over time that things would work out. I think we've reached a point where that will no longer work. How do I bring all of this up, without sounding like I'm attacking him? | Lately my boyfriend has been distant, how do I tell him I'm concerned without sounding like I'm attacking him? |
t3_3qllap | relationships | Me [26/F] with my friends [24-29/M] agree I am "weird" and "raise flags" for not having female friends | Not really a big deal, just looking for some opinions.
Personally, I don't really think it's weird to not have female friends, considering my career and my hobbies. The people I interact with regularly are 95% male. You can't draw any kind of statistically significant conclusion from the fact that the people I happened to click with all happened to be male.
It came up recently in a conversation, and my (male) friends unanimously agree that it is "weird" and that it raises all sorts of "red flags" about my personality. Even just a gender-unbalanced friendship circle is strange, apparently. They've all known me long enough for it to not affect our friendship, but still -- if the majority of people consider me odd, perhaps I should do something about it. For the record, I've been in a relationship for many years and I make it amply clear, so I hope that kind of stuff has nothing to do with it...
I'm already kind of doing something about it in that I'm extra nice to the women I do happen to meet, as well as trying to engage with them as often as I can. But it seems we can never get further than "friendly acquaintances".
Should I be doing more to try to even out the gender ratio of my friendship circle? Is it even a problem in the first place? I always developed friendships based on how well we get on, and I never really paid attention to what shape our genitals happen to be. If I should, how should I do that? I'm a little reluctant to develop a more traditionally female hobby since my time is already very much filled with things I enjoy and am fulfilled by. | Should I be making an effort to make female friends in order to even out the gender ratio of my all-male friendship group? |
t3_3lvyv2 | relationships | Impressions and effects of grandparents [75M && 70F] living with me [22M] | Background:
While away at university, I wasn't aware of my family's situation, in particular my grandparents' struggles. I recently realized they were being strained financially, and are currently spending a large portion of fixed income on housing expenses. Looking over their budget, if this component was removed, they would lead a life with significantly less stress. I'm in the process of searching for an appropriate home to purchase, and I have decided I will invite them to live with me. However, I'm looking for places where they could be on ground level and I would have the upstairs to myself to maintain a bit of separation. They're really nice people, great chefs, and I love them a lot, so I'm a bit ashamed to feel the need to consider any difficulty it could cause.
Question:
What would your true impressions and feelings be towards someone who had their grandparents living with them? How could I bring this up with someone when I meet them (I think I would have to tell them quite soon..)? Could I look for anything in particular in a home or conduct any preparations to make this an easier situation for my dating life? I think if I were thirty or forty this might be a fine situation to be in, but how would your twenty-two year old self react to this information from a potential partner? I would like to think if someone responded negatively 'well, I wouldn't want to be with them anyways,' but it seems equally as likely that they're a great person with a curveball being thrown at them. | Grandparents moving in with me. Nervous of response if I'm in a hot tub with someone I like and all of a sudden my grandparents appear (although if they were bringing wine and cheeses, it could be cool). |
t3_2wr196 | relationship_advice | I [22F] love my boyfriend [25M] to the ends of the earth, but everything reminds me of him [22M]... | I'll try to keep this fairly brief...
I met J about a year ago, and we hit it off straight away. Since then, I've really struggled with my feelings for him, as I'm in a long term relationship with S. At one point, J and I confessed that we actually did have feelings for each other, but as I was determined to try and make it work with S, we didn't act on it.
I absolutely love S in that comfortable way that long term couples do - I feel comfortable with him, he knows all of my bad qualities and I know his, and (if I'm honest) I can imagine spending the rest of my life with him. But I don't feel ready to be comfortable and settled just yet, and sometimes I find myself itching to be amongst new people and situations.
I've tried to be level-headed about this - at first, I thought that this crush on J would go away if I just didn't talk to him and focused on the positive qualities of S. S and I have talked about my feelings for J. It's been difficult, and there has been a lot of hurt and trust lost between us just from the sheer fact of it having happened, but we're trying.
But despite all of that, it's been a year now and I still think about J every day. Heck, most days I'm distracted with worry, and catch myself staring into space. Stupid little things remind me of him, and I feel like I'm going insane. S thinks that I should talk to J, but I don't even know what I would do if it turned out that J reciprocated those feelings. It has been a long time since the idea has even come up, so I have no reason to think that he still feels anything for me.
Any suggestions for what to do? I hate hurting S, but after a year of worrying, I feel like I have to take some kind of action or we'll just keep going through the same madness. | I love my long-term boyfriend; I have major feelings for somebody else and they don't seem to be going away anytime soon. What do? |
t3_sg2tk | offmychest | How do I stop feeling like this? | I rabble a bit, I hope it's understandable if anyone decides to read.
I read the stories here and I wonder why I feel this way. I don't have a bad life; in fact it's pretty good, I have a close family, no financial trouble worth talking about, and a loving girlfriend. But I still feel the same way.
Everybody around me says I should worry less, that I'm not myself like this. (People would say I am a pretty fun loving person. I guess it is mostly a front, as when I become stressed like I am now, the mask comes off and the see the sad person underneath. )
About this time is always the worst for me. I study at collage, the deadlines are close and I am way behind. And no matter what I try I cannot concentrate, It is like a cloud in my head. As a child I would always have problems with concentration, but only now have they became a real difficulty. I don't know if I'm depressed because I can't concentrate, or if I can't concentrate because I am depressed.
My girlfriend says I should see somebody about it (whatever "it" is). But I couldn't stand speaking to somebody about my problems, at least not face to face. I don't even speak to my girlfriend about how I feel, she just picks up on it when it's a day/week. She is beginning to resent me for it, telling me that I need to open up to her, but as much as I love her (or more because I love her) I don't want her to see.
It's hard to describe; I would say I was a fairly intelligent person, but I have no way of channelling my thoughts. It leaves me feeling useless, and empty. I know there is a different me, but no matter what I try I can't spark him back to life. | My life is good, I should be happy but my lack of focus is making me feel like I'm viewing my life behind glass. I don't know how to become me again. |
t3_3r6rha | relationships | I (28/m) bumped into my girlfriend's (29/f) ex boyfriend last night. Never felt so intimidated | My girlfriend and I had been together for about 8 months now. For most part, everything is going well. But my girlfriend's parents and lot of friends seems to not be over her ex yet.
I try to not let this bother me and prove them that I am good enough for her. But I have only heard about her ex. Her ex was a pathfinder in the army, have been a boxer and kickboxer, is well known and respected in many extreme sport communities, have a very interesting job, and have accomplished a lot in his life.
I've never met him until yesterday. We were at a party at friend's house when he dropped by. I noticed he was somewhat standoffish and staying away from where most people were. So I went up to him to talk to him to try get him to come and join us.
I realized it was him when I saw how fit he was and all scars on his arms and around neck from blood play (his fetish) I also was surprise by how tiny he was (I'm 6'4, my girlfriend is 5'11 and the ex is only maybe 5'6 or so) Despite of not wanting to be any part of the fun, he was quite polite and friendly. He then left after talking to someone.
I have nothing against him, but I just can't help it but feel like I'm just a joke next to him. It is really bothering me. I have a decent job but nothing special or interesting, haven't been out of country, haven't done much, am not anywhere near to being as fit as him, can't dress anywhere nearly as sharp as him, and my hobby mainly revolve around video game.
I'm afraid to bring this up to my girlfriend since she have told me many times she have no interest in going back with her ex and want to be with me. But it is more of a social status and esteem thing to me. I just can't help it. I feel so intimidated by him. | Met my girlfriend's ex yesterday who turned out to be quite a decent guy. End up feel quite intimidated by him and it is really bothering me. |
t3_1pvj2n | relationships | My [22 F] girlfriend of 3 months wants to confess to me [23 M] over long distance about her past. | I recently admitted via skype about not being able to swim and lying about it (...yes) - I emphasised my value of trust and honesty.
In response my gf has mentioned there is something she did in her past, something horrible.
She feels i deserve to know this before we get more serious - it is apparent this is related to one of her previous relationships.
Now, my question to you more wisened and experienced folks is:
Does she really need to tell me?
Were planning to skype on Sunday, and she will probably bring it up then - is that a bad idea? Im flying over in 5 weeks anyway.
My worry is that it could be a previous episode of infidelity, and i really don't know how id take that.
Im quite a jealous type, although never let it show - she asked if id be cool with her remaining friends with her ex of 3 years, who is still in her class; and I am, albeit with occasional internal struggle.
I trust her, however that sort of revelation would destroy my trust. Plus my father cheated and ruined my family - I'm not sure i could ever be with a cheater.
If it is infidelity (i suspect so, i dont know why), how can I deal with this? What are your thoughts? Can i prepare myself to think as logically as possible when faced with such emotion?
Thanks for reading | GF wants to confess over skype something horrible she did in a previous relationship - should I stop her? Im afraid she cheated, and itll ruin my view of her, perhaps irreversibly. |
t3_3fyrrs | relationships | My [21F] girlfriend has to leave to the other side of the country, I [23M] don't know what to do. | Some background:
My girlfriend has an 11 month old daughter and left the east coast to start anew. Her ex (who for the record is a scumbag) signed an agreement with her letting her leave indefinitely and taker her daughter. She has been here since earlier this year and when we met we hit it off immediately. The last few months together have been amazing and she makes me incredibly happy. We make each other happy.
A few days ago she was informed that she had to return home in order to settle custody which may take a substantial amount of time, she has to be there before September. We currently live on the west coast so this is no small trip, but neither of us are originally from here. We are happy together and she does not want break up but she says she sees no other option, she doesn't want to do a long distance relationship. After talking about we were texting and I suggested I could go with her, I really have nothing here for me and I don't have a problem going but she has not responded since, that was over 24 hours ago. I don't know what to say or do. She is absolutely wonderful and I would do anything for her but am I crazy to have offered to go with her? | Girlfriend has to go back home to fight for custody of her child, does not want LD relationship, wants to break up, I offered to go with her, no response. |
t3_1dtutx | needadvice | How to get a loan when you don't have any credit or proof of income. | Basically, I live in Colorado, I need a small loan ($3,000). I don't have proof of income because I am a nanny and get paid under the table... like an idiot I've never declared it on my taxes. I don't have any credit because I'm only 20, so I don't have any large bills to pay. I get paid in cash by my families and make about $1,000 a month. I've gone to two banks so far to apply for a loan, first was Wells Fargo and they insisted I prove my income, which is impossible. I tried to get my boyfriend to cosign with me, but they instantly declined it. Now I have applied to US Bank and it is in "process of approval" the guy on the phone told me that's better than what most people get, but somehow I just don't think I will be approved because honestly, I wouldn't approve me.
So now what do I do? Where do I go? How do I get through this? | No credit, no proof of employment (nanny)- need a loan for $3000. Fix my problems for me, I want to shoot myself from stress... Help me, what do I do? |
t3_2mmynp | relationships | Me [24 M] with my girlfriend[22 F] of three months. Lack of chemistry or just something normal? | I started dating this girl a few months ago and all I can say is that she's incredible. The most understanding, kind, and generous person I've met. I've never laughed more in my life and I feel like I can finally be myself around her. I can't describe how wonderful it is to finally not feel obligated to be someone else...and to be able to be alone if I want to be and know she understands.
All that said...I've always heard from people that when they met the love of their life, they always had "butterflies" in their stomach when they saw their SO. As much as I want it...that doesn't come for me. It feels more like a best friend than someone I get nervous in a positive sense about. I hope that makes sense. I want to get excited and nervous...but it just doesn't come.
My question that I'm hoping can get some opinions, is if you all think that special spark is necessary for a relationship. In a lot of ways I feel like we're already married and settled down...the new dating feeling was never really there.
Is my relationship that I'm describing more necessary for a lasting relationship than that initial spark that makes your stomach turn over at the sight of her? | I never felt the initial dating spark, is it necessary for a lasting relationship or is the best friend feeling more important? |
t3_54uqth | relationships | I Maybe Still In Love With My Abusive Ex | I need to some help. Sometimes I feel like I can't think straight . Like I've completely lost sight of what I'm living for . I'm a 20 year old female . I am 4months pregnant and Ive been with my Significant other for a year now . He is very dedicated and committed to providing for us, the best life he can . He's hard working and completely honest . But , he's so strong minded that it's hard to convince him of anything. I'm starting to feel a disconnect from him . I feel like I lose myself when we are having arguments . It feels like everything is an issue for him . Many times I feel like I'm not good enough or I'm the issue in the relationship because he constantly tells me weekly , that I'm a disappointment. Makes comments like "even a child would know and understand more than you" this hurts and breaks me down .
Previously, when I was 15 I got into a relationship that lasted 4 years . About a year into this relationship, he began to abusive me. Mentally, verbally and physically. At the time I didn't really understand what I was dealing with. I just know I wanted to be there and help him . I wanted to show him that everyone else met have left him , but I was going to help him. When I was 19, I couldn't take it anymore. About 4 months later , I got into another relationship , which is my current relationship. Now I'm in this relationship and I feel like I miss my abusive partner . I have dreams and think about him sexually . I can't stop thinking about my abusive ex .
There is something wrong with me but I have no one to talk to . My significant other is the only person I talk to and he loves that. He wants me to only talk to him which makes me feel so weak ... just need some advice please . Nothing harsh . | I maybe still in love with my abusive ex and I'm not sure what to do about it because I'm in a relationship with a guy that I love . Not to mention me and him are expecting our first child . |
t3_faun2 | travel | Advice about traveling to Europe. Not sure where to start. | *cross-posted from AskReddit*
So I've been on quite a few vacations with my family but have never left the country. I finally got my first "big boy" job and would like to go to Europe in August of this year with a friend or two. I've always wanted to take part in La Tomatina.
Ideally I'd like to start in Amsterdam, visit some landmarks and "coffee shops", though I'm not sure where I'd go?
and I want to end my trip with La Tomatina in Buñol, Spain (which is the whole reason I want to go).
Obviously my vacation would be limited to 10-14 days, which I realize isn't much time. I was told trains are expensive? What advice do people have for getting everything in order from across the sea?
I've just begun doing some research but seeing as how I am new at this I figured tips from fellow redditors would help get the ball rolliing!
and yes, I have a passport. | I want to go to La Tomatina in Spain but have no idea where to start when it comes to traveling. |
t3_2zdmmv | Dogtraining | Puppy Jealous when I pet other dogs. | I have a 1 year old female Border Collie mix. I got her at 6 weeks old from a rescue shelter. Feral born on a reservation.
She is mostly fine with other dogs (plays a little rough and some dogs with snip back at her when they do not want to play, but she always wants to.) Lately, when other dogs are around and I start to pet them, she will run up to me, push herself between me and the other dog, and proceed to nip at them (neck, ears, jowls, etc).
Last night I was at a friends house with her and their two dogs. We were getting ready to go out for dinner, so we put the younger 2 into kennels (mine was one of those, always fine with the kennel), and the older one stays out. I went to pet him, and my puppy could see and she went ballistic. Barking, scratching, yelping, growling, everything you can imagine. Very frantic sounding but also angry almost. I stopped petting the other dog and about a minute later she calmed down again.
What can I do to help fix this behavior? Am I S.O.L.? | My puppy went nuts in her kennel when she saw me petting another dog, but stopped shortly after I stopped petting the other dog. |
t3_1p1pu4 | relationships | How do I [23M] confront my girlfriend[23F] of 3.5 years, about a colleague I think she is cheating on me with, but still keep the relationship healthy? | We have been dating for 3.5 years, and have a healthy and loving relationship. We both started new jobs on the west coast a little over 6 months ago and work long hours. She works long shifts but only 3-4 days a week, and I work long shifts almost 6 days a week.
Within the past month or so, she has been protective of her phone, vague with where her time goes when I'm away, and has friended "John Doe" on facebook and as a contact in her phone. Out of all of the colleagues she does mention, she fails to say anything about JD.
JD is married, in his early to mid 30s and has 3 little kids.
We share a few electronic devices and sometimes her facebook account stays logged in. A couple of weeks ago I took a look at her messages and saw her JD and her had a brief conversation over FB messages. A week or so later, she deleted the thread. There was nothing incriminating discussed, but the fact that she deleted it is incriminating on its own.
She doesn't have very many contacts in her phone other than family, and it is hard for me to believe that she would add this "random" co-worker in for no good reason.
I have no proof, but something in my gut doesn't feel right. | How do I confront my girlfriend about a co-worker she may be seeing on the side but still keep the relationship healthy? |
t3_nm4c9 | self | Any other college kids kinda wish you're back on campus? | After the initial "i'm home" feeling from the first few days, I must say I'm getting rather bored. Sure finals were bad and I just wanted to gtfo of school but now... There's nothing to eat, can't eat whenever, can't just go to the gym (not worth paying a startup fee+monthly fee for just a month), and no more that "i'm a boss" feeling from cleaning your room/space because my mom just fusses over every little mess. In fact, now that my parents have adjusted to me being back, they have started to bitch about my behaviors all the time. I can't really drive anymore since my school doesn't allow Freshman to drive, so my parents decided to get rid of my insurance. It makes it even harder to hang out with friends/get out of my house. | I miss the freedom of college, and I'm getting tired of hearing my parents complain about me. Am I alone here? |
t3_1tyiyx | relationships | It's been almost 5 months since my bf of 2 years broke up with me. | We were 19 when we started dating, and spent two years of our college career together. It was an awesome relationship; mostly laughing at each other and rarely fighting. I was in love with my best friend. This last August he broke up with me and I literally felt heartbroken. It was really hard for me because I was IN love with him. It's been hard because I still see him everyday in school (we have the same friend group) and my feelings for him are pretty strong.
We still talk a lot more than exes should, but that's because there will always be something there, plus we were best friends for a long time before we started dating and don't want to lose that. Things were said that make me believe maybe there's a chance, but idk. What should I do reddit? I still really love him but I don't know what to do. | I'm still in love with my ex bf (2 yrs) after 5 months and don't know what to do |
t3_wqhj6 | AskReddit | My 4th grade teacher made racists remarks to the class, didn't realize till older. What's your "oh now I get it" moment from childhood? | I was one of four white kids in my 4th grade class (mostly black school). My black teacher was around 40 years old, overweight, and always mean. (to everyone not just the white kids) one day while teaching a lesson about slavery she kept referring to white slave owners as white devils. Not a big deal to me and my 4th grade brain, but when I mentioned it at home my mother requested a parent/teacher conference and chewed out my teacher for what she said and told the principal on her. Sooooo the next day I got a new nick name in class "Massa" I was "Massa Kleemin" and she called me that for the rest of the school year, but I thought it was cool that I had a title and the rest of the kids didn't. Even my best friend (a black kid) spoke up and requested a title of his own, so she called him "King kleeminsbestfriend."
Looking back on it years later I had that "oh no way" moment and made me laugh that she was so bold to make slave jokes in front of a bunch of kids and never really got into the trouble. She also told us that if any white kids said "nigger" we would get detention BUT the black kids could say it. Again as a kid growing up in a mostly black community I knew I shouldn't say the N word and that the black kids could, but to be told it was a "rule" by my teacher is sad. | black teacher made slave jokes to me cause I was one of the few white kids and was too young to realize it. |
t3_1eb4fp | AskReddit | Broken hearts of Reddit. How did you get over the "one who got away?" | I met my girlfriend last summer doing seasonal work abroad. We fell in love over the course of two months. I was in the process of moving to graduate school. She was in the process of finding a career (but didn't have a college degree). Ultimately, we parted ways at the end of the summer, but we could not stand to be apart. She moved to be with me. Problem is, I am going to graduate school in the most po-dunk, midwestern town in the US. She came from Austin. This place is a cultureless shithole, so I knew that in the end it would not work out. Still, we tried. While she was here, our relationship was fantastic. We rarely fought. We loved each other. We laughed about how silly the midwest is. Then all of a sudden around our one-year anniversary she got homesick and broke down. She is going home next month, and there is nothing I can do about it. We still love each other. I am actually miserable with my graduate program and the town, and would be willing to move to Austin with her (I fucking love Austin!), but she told me not to. She says she needs time to recover and figure out her career being single. Furthermore, she does not want me to "sacrifice my education for a woman." I totally understand this, but the fact that we still have strong feelings for each other makes it so hard. I thought I had found the "one." She is such an amazing girlfriend, and to hear her say that she still has feelings for me and wishes it could work out just kills me.
Reddit. Come on, I know you guys have had similar situations. What did you do? Did you forget about them and move on? Did you pursue them later? Did you go after them right away?
Please help. I do not have a good support system in my current location. I have never experienced these feelings. I've been in several other long-term relationships, and usually when it's over, it's over. This situation fucking sucks. | Lost the best girlfriend ever because I live in a shitty town. Don't know if I'm in a position to, or should even try chasing after her. |
t3_3lmlxv | relationships | The cashier [F/30] at the cell phone store gave me [M/30] her personal cell phone number to contact her at anytime with any further questions. Could she have been hitting on me or is she just a super dedicated employee? | I went in to pay my cell phone bill at a different location and me and the cashier had some things in common, we chatted for a little bit about ourselves. She ended up giving me her number to send any further questions I might have about anything. I noticed she had a ring on her finger and she did mention she just had a baby. I'm not sure if she was just super friendly and a dedicated employee or if this was an invitation to text her and flirt. I'm not that experienced in relationships. What do you think? | Cashier gives me her number in case I have any further questions, not sure if she was flirting or just an awesome employee that answers questions in her off time. |
t3_1eeubz | relationships | My mother [50ish] won't let me [f22] see my little sister [10] unless I cut my hair. | I've had long hair my whole life because my mother didn't allow me to cut it. I finally recently cut it into a cute fauxhawk. I go to school out of state, and I was skyping with my little sister and mother and showed them my hair. My mother didn't say much, but she later called me and informed me that she doesn't want my sister around that and I won't be allowed to come see my sister this summer unless I cut my hair into a pixie cut. The real reason is that she thinks it is dykey (I'm not gay and I would be visiting with my boyfriend, so it's not like she thinks I'm actually a lesbian) although she wasn't straightforward about that.
I know I could just cut it and it would look good but I don't want to encourage her to think she can use my relationship with my little sister as leverage to do whatever she wants... especially something as minor as a hair cut.
I told her I thought she was being manipulative and cruel but she hasn't responded.
What do I do? | My mom thinks my hair makes me look like a lesbian and won't let me see my sister until I cut it. |
t3_3etus9 | relationships | I [31 F] found out my [31 M] has taken thousands out of our savings account and kept it in a secret account he had been using for 9 months. | I found out yesterday that my husband took out thousands of dollars ($4,600) from our savings account and put it in an old account he had before we married that I thought was closed/inactive. I also found out that the account I initially thought was closed/inactive he has been using for about 9 months and has hidden total about $5,400 from me.
All of the money is gone. He used to to buy what ever he wanted but the things he bought weren't material in nature so there is nothing to take back. He says that the reason he took out the money from the savings was to "double it" on a gambling bet. He lost obviously.
I love him very much and I want to work this out but I'm extremely upset and not sure how to start. Part of the problem is that he comes from a very wealthy family who has bred a lot of lying behavior into their children. His brothers and sisters lie just as much as he does.
His lying goes beyond the money issue as well. He lies about lots of little things. For instance he told me he was going to quit smoking his ecig but has been doing it anyway. When I asked him about it he said he just was going to smoke it until the juice ran out and that he wasn't buying new. I saw on the hidden account that he has been buying all sorts of stuff from the ecig shop. That's just one example but can be applied to a lot of things.
He feels horrible about what he has done and has agreed to get therapy to over come his lying issues. Has anyone else ever gone through financial infidelity before? Does anyone have advice? | Husband comes from a family who lies and has always lied to me. Just found out he has been secretly spending our savings. |
t3_3nwdlo | askwomenadvice | Friend deleted me from FB for Girlfriend, am I in the wrong for blocking him? | He [M22] started dating her [F22] two months ago. All's going well, but she's thinking he still likes me. I don't like him, I never have and I just moved far, far away from said state. He told me a few days ago that it would be better if I don't message him anymore. To ease her mind that there's nothing going on between us. He then deleted me from FB today, because she's still not convinced. I'm a lesbian that has no feelings towards him. Oh, and she's cheating on her boyfriend with my friend. He's telling me that this happens in relationships and that it'll blow over soon. " factionless, these things just happen. She isn't doing anything wrong" Actual message sent.
So I blocked him on FB, and deleted him off my Instagram and snap chat. I'm so through with his bullshit. He says he doesn't like leaving relationships on a bad note. Yet he's doing this shit because this cheating girl is jealous of the lesbian that lives in the west. | friend's girlfriend is jealous of a lesbian who lives across the states. Friend deletes me from FB and I block him on all social media. |
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