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t3_39rt2q | relationships | My [21/M] boyfriend of 2 years still goes on OkCupid, claims he uses it to make "friends". I [19/F] am not okay with it. | This has been a reoccurring problem throughout our relationship and it bothers the shit out of me. I can name multiple reasons why
1. He is still on there listed as single, even if it does say looking for friends.
2. He claims he is not flirting with the girls on there and that he is complimenting them, but I don't know if they take it that way or not
3. I am pretty sure he doesn't immediately tell them that he has a girlfriend the way I do with other guys so that way to avoid any confusion.
Am I being too crazy/jealous? I mean he really doesn't have any friends other than me. So I understand why he wants to try and talk to new people. I get it, but still using an online dating site to do that while he is with me makes me want to rip my eyes out.
I have tried getting him to close his account but he never wants to comply. Am I asking too much of him? Please give me any advice or ask any questions you may have. I am NOT trying to make him seem like the bad guy. | My boyfriend claims to be using an online dating site to make friends but still claims to be single on it and doesn't realize the way he talks to other girls can be seen as flirty. |
t3_1k3tr4 | books | Poor College Student Looking for Textbook Downloads! | I'm going to skip the college student sob story and get right into it. I'm going to be a sophmore in college and it's time for me to buy books. I'm trying to save on expenses, and the number one expense I've found I can save on is textbooks. Rather than buying books, I want to download them (For free preferrably). With the money I would save simply from downloading my chemistry book, I could buy myself a brand new kindle fire HD for reading. Anyways, I've been scouring the internet for a download for my textbook and I've had absolutely no luck in finding it. So, in short I'm hoping my fellow redditors can hook me up with a link.
The book I'm trying to find is General Chemisty: Atoms First by Mcmurry and Fay (2nd Ed.). It's ISBN-13 is 978-0321809261. | I need a download link for General Chemisty: Atoms First by McMurry and Fay (2nd Ed.). ISBN-13 978-0321809261 |
t3_u468e | AskReddit | Reddit, I understand that you have crazy parents, but what are some things that make you think that YOU are crazy? | For years I've been hearing this train, at night. Pretty normal thing to hear, I guess, but I live in an area where the only remotely close tracks I know of are destroyed and/or abandoned. I have lived here 12 years of my life, now, and know the area extremely well. No trains. The whole train thing became a big joke between my best friend and I because it's literally bothered me since we were little kids, and I'd sometimes point it out when she'd sleep over so that I'd know that I wasn't just hearing ghost trains, and she'd always make fun of me for it.
Anyway, it's bothered me to no end for YEARS, because I could not for the life of me figure out where this fucking train could be.
Yesterday something awesome happened, and someone nonchalantly brought the train up which automatically resulted in a very craycray sounding "YOU HEAR IT TOO?!". But anyway, they ended up letting me know where the train is. I skyped my best friend and ended up crying tears of joy uncontrollably. I don't think I've ever felt more crazy. | heard train at night for years, never understood where it was, and felt crazy for hearing it. Found out where it was, and literally cried. |
t3_1kq3m9 | relationships | My [17M] little sister [14F] is dating our potential step-brother [17M]. I'm the only one bothered by this. Am I overreacting? | Hi guys. My mom [43F] has been dating this guy [40sM] for about 5 months now, and I recently found out that my sister [14F] is dating his son [17M]. I'm not sure how long they have been dating, but it has to have been at least 2 months. Besides the age difference (which I think is a bit too large) I don't have any problem with the relationship itself. He seems to make my little sister happy, and I never hear about them arguing or anything. The fact that they could be brother and sister and some point, though, is really creeping me out. However, I'm the only one who feels this way. Neither of the parents think its creepy, nor does my sister's best friend or my other sister. However, from what I can tell, they haven't told anyone else (friends, family, etc), and the only other person who knows about it is my aunt. Am I just overreacting to the whole thing? | My little sister [14F] is dating our potential step-brother [17M]. I find it creepy. Am I overreacting? |
t3_4209f6 | relationships | I'm (25F) been with my bf(27) for over 6 years now. Living together for almost two years. Refused to go hospital with me because it's my fault. | Hi redditors, I'm currently waiting in a hospital and in a lot of pain so bare with me. I'm been sick for at least 4 days now, I went to a walk in clinic yesterday and after waiting for 4 hours the doctor told me that I had a virus and that I should go home and stay in bed.
Tonight the pain has become unbearable and I asked my bf if he would go to the hospital with me. I live with him and his family and his family has accepted me and treated me like nothing less than one of their own. I know his mom would drop everything and take me to the hospital and wait with me. But I didn't want her to have to wait with me, I wanted my bf to step up and do it.
He said he didn't want to. Because he said my sickness is my fault because I don't eat meat.
Reddit I love this man and we have been through so much together. He has been there for me in so many other ways but this is something I don't think I can get pass.
His mom is here with me now. She has work in the morning and she's the one here waiting with me. Even the nurse asked me why m bf isn't here instead of his mom.
They said that I'm pretty sick and will most likely keep me but for now I'm waiting.
How do I make him see that this is not acceptable, I'm going to marry him some day not his family, he needs to show initiative. | bf's mom is the one to go with me to the hospital, he refused to go with me because he said my sickness is my fault because I am vegan. I contracted a virus. |
t3_2r81bk | relationships | I've (22M) let on that I have sexual experience to someone I've gotten close to (20F); but I don't. | So, there's a girl I've gotten close to that really likes me, and I feel the same. Been speaking for about 5 months now. Call it cheesy, but I've never quite known anyone like her. We're more than likely going to step it up at some point, and we talk dirty to each other fairly often - I really turn her on by telling her what I'd do to her based on what seems natural to me - but we don't get to see each other much. To make matters worse, she recently said "you're going to be incredible, I just know it". No pressure then. She has a fair bit of experience too, seemingly, just for more background.
The problem is, I really have little experience beyond some pretty passionate making out and a bit of foreplay. Just never really had the desire to go further with the girls I've gotten close to in the past. I'm now in quite an awkward situation as I've told her what (I think) I'd like most (positions etc.) and that I've "been with" a few girls before; I guess I have, just not gone all the way. She seems to expect me to be some experienced, excellent lover, and I'm really worried about disappointing her both in terms of not being 100% honest, and if/when we get around to getting it on. I'm guessing my chances of performing fantastically on my first time are not great.
How would you go about dealing with this situation? Or, as the girl, how would you feel if you'd known someone a few months, had expectations of them that turned out a little off? It's just started weighing on my mind over the past couple of days; really worried that I could have potentially screwed things up by not just being completely open from the beginning. Do I just go for it and hope for the best, or keep my white lie to myself and hope for the best when it comes to it? | She thinks I'm going to be great in bed from our dirty talking and making out as though I have some experience, but I don't really have much at all. What should I do? |
t3_25r0mn | relationships | I (f/20) just ended things with my long term boyfriend (m/20) but I'm not sure if it was right. | I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 2.5 years because I felt like I had to. We broke up for a few months last year but then got back together. Not a single one of my friends or family members approved. They thought I could do better/be happier.
So I just ended things (we've been casual but exclusive for the last few months), and now I'm completely regretting it. I can't tell if I regret it because I'm just upset from the ending of a long relationship, or because I actually made a mistake in ending it.
I'm so torn because I haven't been honestly happy with him in a long time, but I do truly love him. Sometimes, when I would see him, I would be happy, but something would always go wrong. I would always get hurt.
Plus, I know we're going to break up again at the end of the summer and I can't handle that.
Bottom line- I broke up wit him because I was unhappy/everyone more or less told me to, but deep down I do want to be with him but at the same time I don't. I know it makes no sense, but how I feel makes no sense. | Broke up with my boyfriend that I'm still in love with because I didn't want to get hurt anymore. Not sure if I made the right decision. |
t3_1yfx5j | relationships | Tonight he [M25] said he was sick of me [f22] during an argument. | Our two year anniversary is in like a week, and we live together. This was a serious blow, and I'm kind of in shock.
A little background: all day, he has been irritable and seemingly upset. When I asked what was wrong a few hours ago, he said it had nothing to do with me. We've both been home today but I spent the majority of my day awake while he slept. We had the alarm set for 10am because of an important errand today, and before bed last night he kept trying to make sure I would be up on time, and not sleep in.
Well guess what, I was up at 10 getting ready. He slept until....7:30pm. Yeah. So I was pretty annoyed, but I was trying to keep my cool and not be mean about it. After he's finally up though, he's cranky and distant. I leave the bedroom, where he is video gaming, and spend the evening in the living room. I end up trying to sleep on the couch unsuccessfully for a few hours because I know that if I talk to him, I'll get mad.
Then I finally give up and crawl into bed. After another hour of non-sleep, we start arguing. I tell him I don't want to fight, and that's why I've been in the living room. He tells me I am a spoiled princess and I can have the bedroom all to myself because that's what I really want. I say I'm sick of arguing and he quickly says 'I'm sick of you.' Then he leaves the room and I pretty much immediately burst into tears. I can hear the TV in the other room now, and I haven't dared to try and go out there, even though it's been about 30 minutes. I don't really want to try and resolve this right now because I'm not level-headed enough but I don't know what to do. We rarely ever fight, and he's never said anything like this to me before. I'm genuinely scared that I'll be packing my things on our anniversary instead of celebrating. Advice please? Help? Even if you just tell me I'm wrong I would like some input. | we fought and he said he was sick of me. Now I'm not sure what's going to happen. I love him more than I have ever loved anyone and I'm very scared. |
t3_1xsfr6 | relationship_advice | I 26/m want to move things further with a 26/F. | We met on CL about 2 weeks ago we exchanged several email describing what we like and what type of person we are looking for. Everthing at that point was well, We have some good connections without being a duplicate of each other or a mirror, i sent my # and she gave me hers. We have texted back and forth a couple times. Normally for me the next step is meeting in person. my problem here is that she lives about an hour away from me. I am not sure if simply calling/txting her and asking to go to coffee or something I don't know if that would seem weird given the distance but im not sure what else to say. how can set up a "date" with her I think she is genuinely interested in me has much I am her. I don't want to seem creepy and I have no problem with her coming to me. I just don't know how to broach the topic. So any thoughts you excellent people have would be extremely appreciated. | interested in a girl and she lives an hour away, we haven't met in person and I need plan for what to do next. |
t3_4jouea | offmychest | When I was 11... | When I first hit puberty at 11, I quickly found that porn was a thing on the internet. At that age I always felt weird that I was looking at "older" women (18-20s), so when I found a place to get porn that was closer to my age group (read: underage) I felt much more comfortable using it.
As I got older (15+) I got more and more into "adult" porn and by the time I was 18 I pretty much never looked at it again. I say pretty much because there have been a couple times where I have gone back to look but I do not intend to do so again. Not only for legal reasons but also for personal reasons (I do not want to develop a "fetish" for that shit) and ethical reasons (most underage stuff is produced by sexually abusive situations).
It doesn't really appeal to me much anymore, and it's definitely not something I look at now, but the fact that it is something in my past makes me feel very weird every time I hear/read about pedophiles. I can't help but think that they are just people who are deep into an illegal "fetish" and are demonized and can't get the help they so desperately need.
I know my situation is a very unique one, and I'm glad I stopped. I still sometimes sexualize teenagers and it makes me sick to my stomach (I'm in my mid-twenties)... This has been a constant burden that I've been holding onto I guess ever since I turned 18. I don't feel like I can tell anyone about my past in terms of porn. It just felt so wrong to look at adults when I was a kid. I don't even know how to describe it. Luckily I now have an appreciation for the adult female form (trans-acceptance anyone?).
I was weary of even posting this simply because of the legal ramifications, since this is of course a complete admission of guilt. I feel like I just need someone to say something along the lines of "in your circumstance it isn't unreasonable for you to want to have looked at underage porn at that time". I really wish I could tell my psychologist, but I don't think any good can come from that. | when I was under 18 I was mostly looking at underage porn and even though I've completely stopped, my past has been a weight that I've been carrying around since |
t3_4wc293 | relationships | Me [31 F] given a rude nickname by my coworker [40sM]. Big Boss [60sM] gets involved. How do I keep working with him? | *Names and minor details changed to protect identities.
I work part time in quality control for a large company (this is in addition to my full time job). I recently went to a location where my contact was doing a lot of things that went against company policy.
My first tactic is always to speak with the contact to see if they were unaware of policy. My 40's coworker/contact, John Doe, claimed to be unaware. I informed him of the policies in question. No harm, no foul.
It was around this time that John Doe started telling me about his penchant for nicknames. He then gifted me with one. It was the name of a well known corpulent busybody who everyone hates from an older TV series. He specifically mentioned that it came from this particular TV series.
John Doe began calling me this "nickname" all the time. He eventually did it in a staff meeting. My boss (60s M), Bob Smith, asked me about it later. Apparently John Doe said that I had asked him to call me this? Um, no. So I told Bob Smith the truth.
Well, it has hit the fan. Bob Smith reamed out John Doe and I got a nasty email from John Doe about how I was sending mixed signals and that it wasn't my place to call him unprofessional. Ummm... I didn't? If Bob Smith did that, he did it on his own.
So, now I have four more weeks working part time at this location with this contact. I have no desire for further contact with this man. Still, I need my second job. How do I go about navigating this? | Coworker gives me mean nickname, boss yells at him, he gets mad at me. How do I keep working with him for four more weeks? |
t3_2vkcua | relationship_advice | Planning to confess [22/M] to my best friend [21/F] this weekend...don't know what to do. | So this weekend happens to be a small four-day break from my school, so I'm planning to visit one of my best friends in the city. Conveniently enough, this weekend happens to be Valentine's (eff me, right?) which has a whole bunch of implications. The thing is last year, I asked another girl out and was essentially rejected, so my confidence has never been lower - but I guess it helps that I was merely asking that girl out to get my mind off of my best friend. She was previously in a long-distance relationship for almost 3 years, and actually broke up with her long-time boyfriend fairly recently. I've always had strong feelings for her, but I've run into the age-old problem with liking your best friend: do I just risk it for the biscuit and confess to her on Valentine's, and potentially mess up my best friend status? Or do I just act like everything is peachy keen and visit her and hang out with her, despite having that hanging over my head? | Like best friend, and visiting her this weekend. Torn on what to do in terms of confessing/not confessing, etc. Help pls. |
t3_1b56if | relationships | Girlfriend[f/19] wants to take a break from me [m/19] for a stupid reason. | Me and gf have been dating for about 2 years.
Recently, I was about to trade my car for a better car. The person who wanted to trade cars told me to meet up with him around 2:30ish because that was the only time he could see me. I would usually go with my stepdad but he had to work until 5ish. So I decided to call an old friend who knows a lot about cars and see if he could help me. My girlfriend doesn't like my old friend because he's a douche who smokes, drinks, and cheats on girls. So my girlfriend thinks he's a bad influence. And she doesn't trust me around him. Better yet, she doesn't trust me at all because she's the type of girl that thinks that "all guys are the same" i have never cheated on her, i have never gotten drunk behind her back. She never believes me. Anyways, I had to go with him because I had no choice. And now she's throwing a bitch fit about the whole thing and she says we need a break because I've been annoying her lately.
I don't really know what to do. | Gf got mad because I hung out with a bad influence(because I had no choice) And even though I didn't do anything she wants to take a break. Help. |
t3_42kbsp | relationships | Me [28f] with my bf [29m] for 7 yrs, found interesting Reddit posts. | Throwaway for obvious reasons.
Josh & I have been together over 7 years. We live together, well, he lives with me. He doesnt work or go to class. I support both of us & we live in the flat I pay for. There are several issues in which I wont get into detail on, but last weeks's has me wondering how to deal. Last week,
Josh was on his computer & said he was just browsing reddit. I thought he didnt have an account but it showed him logged in. I went to the loo and searched the username I saw on his computer and was appalled. He has been posting on a subreddit looking for "naughty friends" on an app. He provided his app username in the posts. Within his post, there are about 3 characteristics that would positively identify that it's him. I did not confront him yet as I'm sick to my stomach over this.
Do I just flat out ask him to leave & turn over his keys? Or do I confront him first? | found bf has been posting on a sub looking for naughty friends on an app. Ask him to leave or confront? |
t3_n0tzj | AskReddit | What are some tips on cycling long distance road trips? | So my friend presented me with a proposition today, he suggested that over winter break, we cycle from Richmond to Key West Florida approx (1200 miles) along the [Atlantic Coast Bicycle Route] We haven't really discussed in full of what we would do or even if this will come to fruition. But so far we think we would most likely be lodging in a tent and if weather does not permit it then we would find some cheaper lodging in town or something. Not too sure on food or clothes, we figured food we could bring a lot of cheaper things that are high in nutritional value. Clothes well I haven't really thought about that so tips there would help. Anything at all would be appreciated, thanks! Also we would most likely be buying a one-way ticket flight back to Richmond, so there's no need to worry about the return trip. | friend and I are thinking about cycling from Richmond, Va to Key West, Fl. Any suggestions would be great. |
t3_pqryp | AskReddit | How does preventing natural death better mankind? | I have been struggling with this question and every way I look at it, it is wrong.
I just sat by while my grandmother passed away. Slowly. She developed throat cancer (ironically never smoked) about 2 years ago and survived until last October. I say survived because my aunts and uncles, and for a while my mother, did all they could to keep her alive. My grandmother was a deeply spiritual Christian, one of the few I have met that I believed they "walked the walk". I know from her words that she was ready to pass on 2 years ago. Yet she accepted painful surgery and expensive medication because she knew her children would miss her.
What I'm trying to say is that increasingly often, people go out of their way to extend their own or their loved ones lives for selfish reasons. I believe that prolonging lives unnaturally leads to negative impacts on the rest of society. It seems fairly obvious that humans are overpopulating the Earth. Nature is doing its damndest to fight our exponential growth. With disease especially the planet is attempting to limit our over consumption. In this society where money is prized above so much else, one of the fastest growing fields of science is medicine.
I may have ranted a bit (could have said more) here but, | if anyone has some insight on the reasons for our zealous mission to prevent death, I'd appreciate it. |
t3_2jy288 | relationships | Me [24F] with my boyfriend [27 M] of 2 years, I am breaking up with him this weekend. | He is 27. We've been together 2 years. He refuses to have a discussion about our future together. He says he wants to get married (though he changes his mind about this regularly), but won't discuss timelines. When asked to have such a discussion, he gets defensive, tells me I am always upset or worried about something, ignores it, and just puts it off so he never has to actually have the discussion.
He's buying time. He will never be ready. The fact that I have to jump through so many hoops just to have a clear communication about a very important topic is a red flag in itself. I can't be with someone who can't take my concerns seriously.
Everything is feeling so clear now.
I called him today to ask him to chat this weekend about important things that have been bothering me. He asked me what, and I told him. He got frustrated. Asked details. When I told details, he closed off as usual, said he has to go, and we hung up. Exactly the reaction I expected. | Having even one discussion about the future is like pulling teeth. After 2 years, I am breaking up with him this weekend. |
t3_4b01e3 | relationships | My ex boyfriend (26M) and I (22F) of 3.5 years. He was classic Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde to me. I broke up with him but can't seem to move on. I need advice. | Hello everyone. Long time lurker, first time posting. Please forgive any mistakes.
My ex recently moved out. I'm finding myself going through a really hard time getting over him and would really like some insight on how to let it go and move on.
Back story: My ex and I met through work 4 years ago and we hit it off immediately. We did move quickly and within 1 year, he was living with me. We would have deep conversations, and go on road trips often. We taught each other about new hobbies and had a really deep connection. But of course there were really amazing and wonderful times, but there were also really bad times.
It took me a 3.5 years to realize that he was just toxic for me. He was super insecure and obsessed over how he felt "I could do better than him". I was outgoing and loved being social, but to him, I was flirting with any guy I ever talked to. Any time I laid eyes on a guy for more than a second, he accused me of checking them out. I pretty much ended up suppressing my personality to keep the peace. When we argued, he was the meanest person alive. He would do the most fucked up shit, and everytime the reason was either 1. "You make me feel insecure about myself and I just wanted validation that I'm attractive". Or 2. "I just wanted to make you feel the hurt you make me feel". In the most heated fights, he would slap or punch me once, cool down for 5 minutes, then feel horrible about it.
But still after all that, I'm sad he's gone. When I come home from having a bad day at work, I wish he was here to cuddle me. I feel like an idiot for still thinking about him. How do I get over him? | My ex was so mean to me, we broke up but now I'm having a hard time letting go. Advice? |
t3_kp8cw | AskReddit | I had a disturbing reaction to diazepam (Valium). Should I be worried about future use? | Here's a bit of context. I have a phobia of flying and am prescribed diazepam tablets for my trips. I was given 2mg tabs and recommended two each dose. I do not fly often, And have not needed these for two years, However this summer I traveled america and had a lot of lights. So took a lot of these tablets.
On my very last flight back home I took only one tablet so I'd still be able to make my connection fairly coherently. This is when it started. I'm sure you're all aware of the extremely calming effect a valium can have, But this time something odd happened. I started feeling very anxious and restless. I was getting progressively more terrified and didn't understand why. Once I had completed my one hour flight to Chicago and boarded my seven hour one to London, I decided that one tablet was just not enough so I took another one to complete my does in the short time that had passed. This is when I began to realise it was the medication causing my state. I got very bad, I became intensely nervous and got shakes and cold sweats. I became very angry or agitated at certain points which is completely against my nature. All of this and I was terrified because I didn't understand what was happening to me.
I plan on traveling a lot more in the future. So obviously thins brings up the question, Is this something I should be concerned about for the future? This was the first time something like this has happened on diazepam. Is it common? Should I consider alternatives? | I had a severe reaction to diazepam that I took for my fear of flying. Should I be worried about using it again? |
t3_fgji9 | AskReddit | Does your SO have terrible taste in music? | Probably the only thing that drives me crazy about my girlfriend is her taste in music. I'm sure this is a pretty standard relationship issue, but I usually only date girls with music taste similar to mine– it was almost always a deciding factor.
She mostly listens to pseudo indie rock that came out from 1998 - 2006 and an array of shitty main-stream hip hop.
I like punk rock (Dead Kennedys), garage rock from the 60s (Nuggets) and some more modern hip hop (Hieroglyphics). I also like some new music (Yeasayer).
For the past several months, I've been practically living with her and subjected to Sade on a daily basis.
In the long run, I don't mind listening to basically anything, but'd be nice to enjoy the music I'm hearing once in a while. | We're musically incompatible, I'm stuck listening to bland garbage when we're together. Any thoughts on what I can do? Any similar stories? |
t3_o3shj | relationship_advice | Why do I still have dreams about a girl I broke up with ten years ago? | We were high school sweethearts of sorts. We only dated for two years and broke up ten years ago but once in a while she creeps into my dreams and I don't know why.
I'm pretty sure in those ten years she made active steps to try and reconcile a friendship and possibly relationship but I always reached a point where I could only remember the bad things about the relationship, things I wouldn't put up with after the relationship.
In fact I know she tried to reconcile because one time she even tried getting me to stay over her place by making out with me. I remember turning her down and feeling great about myself because I actually took her back after breaking up with me once in the past. The second and final time we broke up, I was feeling a lot of "fool me twice, shame on me."
I haven't even spoken with this girl in two years. I've moved on, she's moved on. Yet about once a month we're back together in a dream and I'll wake up feeling all kinds of confused.
Any dream interpreters out there? | ex-gf has been in my dreams Inception-style since we broke up ten years ago. I haven't even talked to her in about two years. |
t3_1f7hqh | Cooking | Help with homemade basil pesto? | Hi r/Cooking! This is my first post here, I hope you can help me.
I love pesto. I've been buying it for a few years now, but I prefer homemade, all-natural food, so I tried making it myself. The original recipe I got was from an Italian friend, but apparently, I'm doing something wrong.
The problem is that the pesto I made (using basil leaves (with a little bit of stem), olive oil, pine nuts and parmesan/grana padano cheese) is quite bitter, much more so than the one I buy. I've searched online, but the only explanation I found was something to do with blending olive oil. So, I tried again, first smashing ingredients, and adding olive oil later, but it's still the same. I think it has to do with smashing fresh basil, if I try just squeezing a single leaf, it gets the same bitter taste.
Has anyone faced this problem before, and does anyone know how to make non-bitter pesto? Or have I trained my palate to the wrong, industrial, taste? | When I make pesto, it's very bitter, I think it comes from crushing fresh basil leaves. How can I make it less bitter (more like the industrial pesto that I can buy in a store)? |
t3_493g8c | Dogtraining | Help! Dog has become anxious and aggressive after recent move | We have recently moved last week about ten minutes from our old two bedroom apartment to a much bigger four bedroom house with a yard. We thought our 11 month old Frenchie would be over the moon about the space and a whole yard just for him. However, he instead seems to be showing signs of anxiety, and aggression since our move.
He has been hyper vigilant in the house and will go ballistic over any noise. He doesn't seem to enjoy the yard much or is apprehensive about it. He is regressing a bit on walks, and has begun to try and chase cars again, a habit we thought we ended months ago.
The clincher today, was that we took him to his favorite dog park, where he generally was very well adjusted and loved all the dogs and people, and he became violently aggressive with one of the dogs. Thankfully the dog was a relaxed breed and a bad situation was avoided.
I am worried that this move has upset our pup so bad that he may never return to the well adjusted , social, dog loving guy he was. | dog has always been well adjusted and friendly. Since move he has been regressing, has been anxious and aggressive, resulting in him trying to attack a dog at the park. Need advice! |
t3_3raoju | relationships | My [22 F] best friend[22F] of 10+ years just miscarried a baby. I'm considering naming one of my future children after her unborn child. Touching gesture, or hurtful? | My best friend "Mary" and I have been close for years. We consider one another to be sisters, but because life is life, and jobs take you separate places, we live about two hours away from one another now.
While we haven't really talked for a while, our relationship is oddly like that. We don't really talk or text, but when we do see one another, we do nothing but laugh and catch up for a week straight, are close as ever, and then go our separate ways until the next time.
We're in one of those "catch-up" periods, and Mary just confessed to me that she miscarried a child a few months ago, and other than herself and her boyfriend, I'm the only person that knows. Hauntingly, she named her unborn child the same name as a video game character that she reminds me of. The video game character and the main character's relationship so eerily mirrors our own friendship, that I had even thought of using the name for future children, before Mary ever told me anything.
While I'm about to be married, I don't plan on having kids for a few years. But I'm debating the idea of naming any future daughters after Mary's unborn child. While I mean to do this in honor of her, and in honor of our friendship, I'm afraid that doing so might unintentionally be hurtful.
What is the best approach to this? Women who have lost children...if your friend did this, how would you react? | I want to name a future daughter in honor of my best friend's miscarried child. I don't know if it would be appropriate or not. |
t3_2lu7vu | relationships | Me [24 M] need a woman's opinion about how/if I should pursue a relationship with a girl [24F] I am interested in. | I (24M) have been talking with a girl (24F) for about two months now. Initially it was getting to know each other, about 3 weeks ago we kissed and have only made out with each other on a few occasions.
A few weeks in to talking to her she tells me that she just got out of a long relationship, 3+ years, with a guy that she thought she was going to marry, and she wasn't sure what she wanted (understandably so). He dumped her out of the blue (I'd say they have been broken up ~4.5 months now).
A couple days ago I brought up a talk about how she was doing and where things were headed with us. In person, she told me she is not over her ex, but likes what we are doing and wants to keep doing that (that's okay with me). She texted me later that night explaining that she wasn't over her ex and wasn't ready for a serious relationship though. When we hang out she sometimes seems like her head isn't all there, she's preoccupied, or she isn't really interested in finding out more about me(basically she's still thinking about the ex I feel). It's hard to explain. Other times we hang out we have a lot of fun with each other. Since this talk though we have hung out with each other in a group of other friends.
The shitty part is I really like her. I haven't been in a relationship for about 8 months. This girl is my type physically, I like what she's about and think she's great. But I know being dumped unexpectedly sucks and it takes time to get over an ex, especially when she wanted to marry the guy.
I don't know what to do. I want to remain friends and hope she'll come around, but my brain tells me that's not going to happen and to quit dreaming. Should I stop initiating hanging out/talking with her and give her more space? Should I keep pursuing her? If there any women out there that I can get an opinion from, that would be great. | Don't know if I should stop contacting a girl that I'm really interested in who isn't over her ex from about 4.5 months ago. |
t3_1o1fys | relationships | Me [17 M] with my best friend [17 F] trouble telling her about how I feel. | My best friend and I are really close, and I had been planning on asking her out. A high school dance is coming up, and I was going to ask her if she would like to dance with me there but she talked to me a little bit about it and I found out that she was going with a friend from another town that she had only met for a little while in a school program last year. I don't think she is too hyped up about him, in fact I am not sure if she likes him at all (In the past she has gone on dates with people since she doesn't like to tell them she doesn't like them). I decided that I am trapped in a corner and I need to move on and ask her about her feelings towards me. I stopped talking to her via text messaging (She hasn't sent me anything recently), and I plan to not talk to her that much in school for a few days as well (We sit next to each other in about half of my classes). I want to tell her that I really like her and that it is OK if she is honest, and I also want her to understand that I don't want to hurt our friendship either. However, I am not too sure how to approach this, I feel like an idiot to just pull her aside and tell her that I really like her before she goes to the dance. | I do not know how to tell my best friend that I really like her without hurting our friendship/ making her upset. |
t3_1vhq96 | relationships | I (22f) decided to stop contact with (24m) due to his indecisiveness and "talking" rules. Don't know how to proceed. | Long story short, ive been trying to get in a committed relationship with my friend of four years but it's just not happening. He says he cares about me and wants to take things slow. I asked him what we were and he said were talking. Whatever that really means.
We've been trying to work things out for a year now. We talk, he says it's not gonna work because he needs to work on himself. We talk again. He goes too slowly. We live an hour and a half away so it's not like I'm right there but still. Way too slow.
Right now we're currently in the talking phase. I can't take it. I still have real feelings for him but I realize now that I'm not a priority never will be and it's time to stop. I'm not important enough.
Anyway, I've tried ending things before. We stop talking. We end up talking again. You know the drill. I get that this time I need to NC and stick to it which I want to do. However, what do I say to him so he understands this? I need help wording it in a way where he takes me seriously and understands that it's not just one of our little breaks. This is it. | ending things with my friend. We've been doing this for too long. I don't know what to say or how to get him to understand I'm not playing these games anymore. |
t3_4mhrgu | relationship_advice | [19/m] Losing sense of romance. | Hello, sitting here 5:16 a.m as of writing this and was thinking about the relationships I've had with other men. Very few times have I ever felt anything for them, but I have had the feeling of infatuation towards a few- never lasting long, burning out quick. I understand I'm young but it's becoming insulting to hear "give it time, you're still young" I'm more emotionally intelligent than most married couples... Been on some amazing dates, romantic moments and treated like a king, but all I feel is this almost shallow or empty feeling. I'll give an example of this guy/28 I met and was in the company of for about 3 months: We met over drinks and enjoyed nice conversation- clicked very nicely, awesome sex, awesome communication, got the type of affection I need (petting, physical) but all that time was in vain really, he thought we were going somewhere and asked me in a corny but sweet way to be his boyfriend and I declined. He was in tears and asked me "Why? You asshole! You don't even look like you care!" "piece of shit!" But that's my fault, I didn't have any feelings for him like that, I should have seen the signs that he was falling but I just indulged him I guess, till it blew up in my face and tried to be honest. Now I spend my time hooking up with randoms, most want to see me again because they "like" me I tell them not to expect more from me. But why? Why don't I have more? Why is it when people start to have feeling for me is when I realize the most that I never had feeling for them?
I need someone to talk to about this- no one I know has been able to help me, haven't asked best friend but I doubt she'll have the insight to resolve this (I don't mean this in a mean way, shes honestly my life) | [19/M] Relationships (with other guys- if that helps) end up nowhere because I cant return feelings- Why don't I ever return feelings even when everything is right? |
t3_wug0z | AskReddit | How has everyone's week been? (not looking for karma, genuinely interested) | So my week has been like a roller coaster. I've been mainly bored, but I did beat Bioshock on hard for the first the the other day. Those Big Daddies were hard! Anywho, some of you may be familiar with a woman situation that I posted about not too long ago. Long story short, it didn't work out, but I'm oddly ok with it. I realized that I wasn't ready myself (a lot of bitterness that I still struggle with about past childhood events, parents divorce, step mom was a raging lunatic, lots of fighting etc). We are still friends, glad that I didn't jump onto that early.
So now I'm just focusing on myself, working on getting CCNA certified, still in college working towards an Applied Math degree (have a year left). Job searching has been brutal to say the least, have been unemployed for the last year. I'm regularly applying for jobs in IT, not really concerned about the wage, just enough to live on at the moment. Right now money is ok. Before I became unemployed, I was working at my grandfather's office (making great money), but the combination of bad business decisions and oversubscription caused the business to go under.
Anywho, I'm going to see the new Batman movie tomorrow, as well as seeing a few friends which will be nice considering that I'm not very social, not because I lack the skill, but because I've always been the quiet sort. | My week has had its ups and downs, and I'm looking for work and spending time with friends and setting goals for myself. |
t3_12ikof | Parenting | Helping my shy daughter | Since school started this year my daughter has been bringing home work from school that she didn't finish during class like she was supposed to. Her teacher (who is awesome and was my son's teacher last year) told me that it was because if she got stuck she wouldn't ask for help. She never really talked to any of the kids in her classroom besides playing at recess. At parent teacher conference a couple weeks ago her teacher talked to me a little more about how quiet she was in class but that he thought she could do it. Afterwards I was trying to think of how I could get her to open up to her teacher and talk in class and for some reason jokes popped into my head. Parent teacher conference was right before fall break and the first day back afterwards I had her go tell her teacher a joke. She went up and whispered it in his ear so quietly that he had to ask her to repeat it a few times but he eventually got it all. Every day I'd look up a new joke and run a few by her until we found one that she liked and could repeat. After a few days she would whisper the joke to him a little louder if there were no kids in the room. Today I had her stand with me by the door to the classroom and say the joke loud enough for her teacher at the back of the room to hear WHILE there were other kids in the room and she did it! I think that was the first time the kids in the class have heard her voice clearly AND she hasn't brought home any unfinished class work since we started the jokes. I just wanted to share this in case other people have shy kids like my daughter. Maybe it could help :) | My daughter was shy and not doing well in school until I started having her tell her teacher jokes every day and it's helped a ton |
t3_qmcdy | AskReddit | Landlord barges in room at 7am (story inside), Is this legally ok? | So, last night I decided to sleep over at my girlfriends place because I have been having problems with bed bugs at my apartment (a real disaster and whole other story). My girlfriend has been renting a room in a house from a middle aged woman for the past 2 months. Anyways, I get there and we go to sleep. At around 7am I hear a noise that sounded like the door opened. So I roll over and look up to see this lady just standing in the room staring at us with the door now halfway shut. After many seconds of her just standing there she says, "Good morning". I just stare at her groggy and befuddled for a solid 8 seconds wondering what the hell is going on and why is this crazy lady standing in the room. I look over at my girlfriend, who is somehow still asleep, and I shake her to wake her up. The landlord then starts leaving. When she wakes up she is like, "Was someone just in here? WTF!". Fully awake now, she flies out of bed, puts on a robe and heads downstairs upon which this conversation ensues:
GF: Were you just in my room?
Landlord: I thought you weren't home.
GF: Yeah, that doesn't matter. You can't just come in my room without my permission.
Landlord: I thought you weren't home.
GF: You NEED to ask for my permission before you come into my room.
Landlord: *leans in* Give me a hug.
GF: ugh *walks away*
So my question is this: When you are renting a room in a house from somebody, can they do this? I was under the impression that the room is solely yours since you are paying for it and that no one else has access without your permission (even the landlord). Maybe someone who knows something about typical rental agreements can shed some light on this. | Sleep over at girlfriend's place. Landlord lets herself in a 7am thinking nobody was in there and that it's OK to come in as long as they're not there. Can someone shed some light on how rental agreements work? |
t3_17vm0g | relationships | I [28M] get upset about gf[25F] of 10 months always talking too sexually/too open in public. | This kind of things seems to happen frequently with her but this is the one I am currently facing and want to know if IM out of line or if SHE is.
Yesterday for the super bow we went out with some friends. We were drinking, having a great time, when she starts getting jealous of this one girl (my buddy's gf) because i said she was pretty. Anyways that goes away and some sexual texts start coming up from my buddy and his best girl buddy. He shows me one and i react by saying things like "oh shit", "damn", etc. nothing sexual. My gf goes to read it and says " oh, this makes me want to touch myself" immediatly everyone was staring at her and me. A buddy commented "shes a little too sexual huh" . 2 minutes later, he showed her his dick on a pic. The other girl, said she likes gaping and etc, at this point, pissed off, I said I want to see! now shes mad at ME! What the hell! Am I wrong here? She says so many embarrassing things and I always have to be worried about what the next thing that will be flying out of her mouth is. we get into ana argument after (obviously) and says i never let her blame me for what shes upset about, that she is losing feelings(she says this kind of frequently when shes upset) everytime this happens, and that her ex is lined up for her(because I told her she needed an open relationship with someone who doesnt care) Am i wrong? | I got upset about my gf talking about touching herself in front of my buddies and dont know if I am right or wrong. |
t3_3wra7m | tifu | TIFU by choking on pearls | I caught a really bad flu while on holiday in Taiwan. As I was resting in the hotel, my girlfriend bought some Boba back to cheer me up.
Some background for those unfamiliar with Taiwan, there is a really popular drink called Boba Tea. Its basically ice milked tea with dessert in the form of some black chewy pearls. I thought it was a greater invention than even Starbucks and fell in love with this drink after trying it.
While passing the drink to me, my girlfriend reminded me to take my medication, antihistamine pills,etc. Being lethargic and drowsy as hell, I decided to swallow the pills while drinking some Boba.
Here comes the fuck up, I popped the pills into my mouth and took a big mouthful of the Boba, as there was both pearls and pills in my mouth, in my confused state I SWALLOWED everything. I started choking and tried to call out to my girlfriend but couldn't. In my frenzied state I slipped off the bed and hit my head on the bedside table. As I lay facedown on the floor and still choking, I tried to crawl on all fours to the bathroom where my girlfriend was.
Fortunately for me, my girlfriend stepped out of the bathroom at this point. Unfortunately, she freaked out and started crying, I was still choking at this point until she finally regained her composure, pulled my upper body up on the bed face first and slammed my back really hard with her palms. The force was so great it not only knocked the pearls out of me; I was knocked out as well.
When I regained consciousness, I was laying next to a pile of my own vomit embedded with some black pearls. We lay there for what seemed like an hour and finally called for some room service. We were charged $199 for dirtying the quilt and also $99 for breaking the bedside lamp. The trip to the doctor also costed $50. | Fell sick on trip in Taiwan, took medicine with Boba, choked on black pearls, hit head on bedside table, smashed lamp, freaked girlfriend out, vomited on quilt and finally a trip to the doctor. |
t3_4jlwnf | legaladvice | A legal question about my business dealing with the shitty ethics of a family member. | Small Backstory... I purchased a business from my father at the beginning of this year. My uncle was our head employee, but we soon found he was stealing from us, and we let him go. His girlfriend soon came into a mediocre amount of money and them two started the same exact business as us but with a different name. Now to what happened and my question. I saw on social media the other day that his company had just done a large job that we have been 2x a year for 10 years. So I called down to the client and asked if they wanted to schedule for this spring. She told me that they just had the work done by us. Apparently my uncle had told them that HE has bought out MY business and just changed the name. Keep in mind that he has records/names/numbers of clients over the past X amount of years. Do I have any legal recourse in this matter? Thanks for the help! | Fired family member from company and now he's telling my clients he bought me out and changed the name to his current name. |
t3_31h915 | relationships | Me [14 M] with my "girlfriend" [14 F] half a day, Yea yea yea, I know we're young. Not exactly sure whats even going on anymore | I know I know young love, and none of it really matters and whatever happens none of it will really matter in the end.
So it starts off yesterday, and well it started off as a prank. Then we became friends of a sort, because I actually started talking to her, and turns out she's pretty cool. Now she says she's emo and cuts herself (which is a real turn off for me), but I soon found out that this is all for attention.
Truthfully I don't have to much of a problem with this, mostly because I know that she isn't like this because she chooses to, but most likely because she is ignored or neglected at home, and it turns out I was right. Her dad died when she was 5, and she was taken away from them at about 5 months. She lives with her grandparents now, and I can tell she is pretty much left to do things on her own.
anyway, I feel bad about this and play along with this, and it backfires/pays off for me. After only 5 hours of talking, she's into me, and after 7, she breaks up with her boyfriend (he was cheating on her anyway). So I have never had a girlfriend, never had sex or even kissed a girl, so I guess my male instincts kicked in and I jumped at the chance of a girlfriend.
I went into this knowing that best case I get a first kiss, and worst I get out with a black eye. I was not looking for a real relationship, but now she is testing me every 40 seconds and I don't know what to do. I don't know if I actually like her or not, mostly because I've never really dated before. So, please halp? | Started as a prank, then got to know her more, and we are now "dating", but I am really lost. |
t3_4p95f7 | legaladvice | [MD] Handicapped seating at NFL game legality questions | I'll start with a basic questions and continue from there;
- How do I figure out what ADA requirements are currently being "enforced" for a particular venue?
Long Story:
I'm trying to make arrangements for 4 people, 1 who is wheelchair bound to see a NFL game (at FedEx Field), and 2 of the people are traveling from out of state. Anyway, we started doing our research and found this [link] so we contacted first phone, and got a voicemail (never got a call back), and then we've reached out by email. We have been told that to get handicapped seating we have to buy our tickets, bring our tickets early on game day, come to a particular place in the stadium, and trade in our ticket, hoping that they currently have 3 companion seats available, otherwise they will sit us with 1 companion seat. They can't tell us where these seats will be located, as it's on a first come first serve basis, or even guarantee that there are seats available, let alone that we will be one of the "lucky" handicapped seats that have 3 companions.
We've been told there is ZERO advanced selling of handicapped seats, as they all have to follow this process. We find this completely and 100% unacceptable, for us let alone putting someone who didn't have someone else to make arrangements for them to try to do.
After this frustrating process, we've started doing our own research and found this about ticket sales and ADA;
and
Which has a few things they seem non-compliant with particularly that they have to make seating available at the same hours as everyone else can buy tickets, same method of purchase, and during the same stage (pre-purchase, wait list etc). However, they only have to actually adhere to these rules IF the stadium has been updated since 2012 or so. How do I actually confirm they need to adhere to these rules?
I also know the redskins have had a few battles with ADA (particularly the deaf) like [here]( | Stadium ticketing practices for handicap can't reserve seats, I think current ADA is saying yes, but dunno how to tell what version of ADA they are under. |
t3_ueyyd | dating_advice | How to get closer to this girl? | Hey guys, so I'm an 18 year old guy going into my senior year of high school. There's this girl in my class who's 17 and I had 2 classes with her this previous year. I didn't really talk to her that much until the end of the year when we kind of starting flirting with each other. She kind of acts like she likes me.
Well, the problem is, I didn't get her number before school got out and she's rarely on Facebook, so I have no way of really getting into contact with her. I really want to take her out on a date this summer but I have no way of asking her. We don't have the same group of friends (she's in the "popular" group of girls and I'm in the "semi-popular" group of guys, but she's not a snobbish bitch. She's a really nice girl). Should I wait until after summer to try to make a move? What should I do? | I like this girl and have no way of contacting her over the summer, what should I do? (But please read the whole thing) |
t3_uqyac | relationships | I CAN NOT get along with my boyfriend's friends. | I'm 21(f) and he's 22(m), been together a year, and I truly think his friends are jerks and he needs new ones. First off, they love to boast about cheating on their girlfriends (true or not) and they constantly comment on women "slut", "whore", "bitch", "ugly", "fuckable" it drives me crazy!
Secondly, two of the bf's **close friends** slept with his (ex)girlfriends (not me) for weeks when they were together, and went on to date them after he found out! This happened TWICE, with two different people. And his other bros think its sooo bloody amusing. They make fun of him constantly to his face, about almost anything.
They use his house for video games because he has a nice place, but often they don't show or arrive hours late when he invites them. I feel like they have zero respect for him, and I can tell he gets down when this happens.
Now, not all of his friends are like this, however most are, and they seem to get worse the more of them there are in one place.
Not being one to go along with bullshit I have become mildly unpopular with them. I want to get along with them for him, since I've talked to him and he's happy with the current situation. He's a great guy and I think he deserves better, but I can't make his life decisions for him.
So Reddit:
Am I being an Overly Attached Girlfriend? How can I avoid being in one of *those* relationships that end friendships, while still standing up for him, and myself. | My boyfriend is a great guy, but personally, I think most of his friends are idiots. Trying to figure out how to support my bf and maintain a healthy relationship. |
t3_1js7g0 | relationship_advice | [20/f] i think my SO (20/m) may not be interested in me anymore | We've been dating for a year but we have been "talking" off and on for a few years, it just never worked out. I'm starting to feel that he isn't really into me or is maybe just using me without realizing it.
Within the past 4 months he never asks me to hang out anymore unless he needs something out of it (internet, something he left at my house, a ride if his car is down). He NEVER kisses me unless I ask him to. He only says I love you when we get off the phone or I leave (I know that seems normal but it doesn't feel real). He never texts/calls just to talk or asks me about my day. I always have to text/call him first. He still doesn't ask me about anything regarding myself. He only texts me to complain about something. He never hugs me or shows any affection other than holding hands. He literally never compliments me unless I ask how something looks. It seems that he only hangs out with me when his friends are busy. He never seems happy or excited to see me. He never misses me even when we're apart for a while. He doesn't appreciate ANY favors I do for him (and I do A LOT). He never wants to do any favors for me. I asked him why he loved me once and he couldn't think of any reason. So I asked why he likes me, couldn't think of anything either. He doesn't do anything to make me feel like I matter to him more than a friend. I have to beg him for sex every day. I even have to beg to give him oral. He says it's because of stress/depression, but he was much more depressed when we first started dating and he never had any problems doing anything.
He also used to be a super romantic
Am I just over thinking things? Am I just too high maintenance? | it seems like my SO is over me or just treats me as a friend. Am I over-thinking it or should I end things? |
t3_4gqnqc | relationships | How should I [28F] deal with a friend [27F] who's constantly injecting herself into conversations I'm having? | It's a simple problem - I have this friend (not a very close one) who, whenever I'm in a conversation, would aggressively (imo) inject herself into the conversation and this affects how much I enjoy social interaction in her presence.
Two examples: 1. A friend of mine was talking to me about something. While I was still talking (responding to him), she just started talking very loudly about something else at the same time. The friend ignored her and responded to me, but she wouldn't stop and started talking again when I started talking. This was the first conversation I had with the friend in this interaction, so it's not like we ignored her for a long time. 2. In a company's social event, the head of another department came to talk to me about a recent interview I had because the interviewer was her good friend. Before she got to that she mentioned some issues with the job market and my friend overheard our conversation and cut right into it. The head looked like she wanted to talk to me more about the interview itself but gave up because my friend kept talking. There were a ton of other examples like these but these two are the most jarring ones.
I normally don't have a problem with group conversations at all, but for some reason when it's with her it's impossible for me to talk, and I'm not entirely sure why. It's also interesting that there's no such problems when we are hanging out with other female friends, the problems only arise when the person I'm talking to is either someone authoritative or a guy. She's very traditionally attractive (tall, skinny and blonde), is on a very friendly basis with a lot of other department heads, and is used to be the center of attention. So in both situations I think it didn't sit well with her that she is not the center of attention, as my male friend, and the department head were both kind of ignoring her (at least in the beginning).
Anyways, the situation now is that it's just not very pleasant to be in the same social situation with her and I'm looking for advice on how I can improve my social behavior to deal with this type of situations and make it better for myself. | friend who exists in both my personal life and my work life is constantly injecting herself into conversations I'm having. It's tiring me out. |
t3_3rq95t | relationships | Me [19 M] with my long distance girlfriend [17 F] of one year, I don't like staying with her family, how do I tell her? | My girlfriend and I have been doing long distance for all but three months of our relationship. We grew up in the same town, but I have left for university. Before I left, I began staying at her place for about two months, which is when I first noticed how much conflict there is in the family. When I come back on uni breaks, I stay with her family.
For example, every morning I will be woken up at 6AM, to the screaming and abuse of her brother towards the mother and vice versa. But these fights happen all the time and my girlfriend does the same thing often enough to make me not want to be in the house with her family at all. There seems to be no respect and I just hate the way they speak to each other.
I've been back for one day, and already I have moved all my belongings to my parents because of fighting this morning. I told my girlfriend, "I need to do washing," when she queried it.
I come from a family where if you raised your voice to anyone you were punished heavily, so this is all foreign to me. My issue is, how do I tell her that I do not want to stay with her, or her family as it immediately puts me in a bad mood, and is very upsetting to hear?
Advice much appreciated. | Girlfriends family is verbally abusive to each other almost constantly, girlfriend included. Stay with them on uni breaks, but sick of it, how do I tell her this is why? |
t3_14lcbs | relationship_advice | Having issues with a long term friend gone boyfriend. | This is my first post so I hope I'm doing it all right! Long story short, my boyfriend(M 21) who I(F 21) have been friends with for like 6 years prior to us dating has not been a good boyfriend lately (we have been in a relationship for about 4 months). We got into a huge fight and the next day I told him I wanted to talk, and he wanted to hang out and then I didn't hear from him ALL DAY. Turns out he went on a day trip with a group of people. Meanwhile, I am home calling, texting, and facebook messaging him all day, depressed and crying because I think he is breaking up with me. I got really upset because I felt like my feelings had just been shat on and he didn't care how he made me feel (absolutely horrible). He didn't really have anything to say except I'm sorry, I love you, I don't want you to feel like that.
When we started dating I wasn't really ready to date since I just got out of a relationship but he won me over. That part of him that won me over is slowly fading. | I don't know if I should give him a second chance because I value our friendship so much. I'm just desperate and want to know what you all think! |
t3_3bk7jd | relationships | My[20 M] GF [20 F] of almost a year has a problem of me adding and talking to female friends on facebook and never being jealous of things. | Hello r/relationships.
I've been dating my girlfriend for almost a year now, and things are going great, except for what I percieve as jealousy and slight trust issues.
Personally, I can't stand jealousy, because I believe, that it shows you distrust your partner. This is why I try never to be jealous and have a liberal attitude towards things related to contact with the opposite sex.
I have always been a very communatative, loud, happy-go-lucky guy that got along with almost everyone, regardless of their sex. Naturally, this means I have a healthy mix between guyfriends and girlfriends, my closest friend being a girl, and meet them for coffe at university or talk to them over facebook.
I am also someone who adds everyone that I've met on facebook. My girlfriend, however, doesn't like me talking to other women in my normal, happy, interested, friendly way, because she thinks they might mistake it for flirting and develop feelings for me.
Reassuring that I would never cheat on her, she still doesn't like the feeling of someone else having a crush on me, not because she thinks I would cheat, but because it hurts her feelings, saying that a girlfriend wants to be special and the one and only one for his boyfriend.
She also doesn't like that I'm never jealous about other guys trying to hit on her in real life or over the internet, and thinks that that means that I don't really have strong feelings for her. It doesn't help that her girlfriends encourage her and think the same way.
I will add that she had developed a lesser case of OCD while in her early teens when her father cheated on her mother, which is why I understand where her feelings are coming from, but still can't help feeling distrusted.
Am I being crazy and is my behavior not normal? Shouldn't I be talking the way I do to other girls?
I will appreciate the help! | I have regular contact with female friends, girlfriend jelly. Because I'm never jelly, she thinks I don't have feelings for her. Am I being normal or stepping over a relationship-line? |
t3_1916hi | jobs | Looking for advice on how to find a good location for my wife and I to move to and work. | Hi r/Jobs, without getting into too much detail I recently got married and moved back to the US. My wife is a Biomedical Engineer and I am an Aerospace Engineer. She already has a job and I could easily find a job around the area in my field or in another field (which I wouldn't prefer but I am okay with this).
However, we both want to move somewhere else because we would like to live in a new place and my wife is miserable at her current employer. She is underpaid and works a ridiculous amount of time in a very stressful environment.
We are having trouble finding places that have good opportunities for both of us and was hoping that someone here could help me out by giving me pointers on how I can do this. We want to live on the mainland US. My best options right now are Seattle (Boeing) and the Dallas Fort Worth area but there doesn't seem to be many biomedical device companies in those areas. If it helps, I don't want to work for the military or on military projects (I don't even think I can).
The problem that I have with searching for jobs is that it is hard to find smaller companies and all the jobs that come up are for huge companies such as GE and Boeing and this limits our possibilities a lot.
Thank you! | Does anyone know of areas in the mainland US that offer good opportunities for Aerospace and Biomedical Engineering jobs? Also, any tips for finding smaller companies in certain sectors would be much appreciated. |
t3_16gutz | relationships | Becoming disinterested with my SO [18m/19f] | Backstory:
This is my first ever relationship. I met her in one of my classes at uni, and we really hit it off. She had JUST gotten out of a relationship of two years, and so we saw each other for about a month before we were in any sort of official relationship.
Dilemma:
Fast forward about a month. Things had been going rather well, she's very sweet and is very VERY into me. From the start she was always much more committed to this relationship than I was.
She's from out of state, so after a month of us actually dating, she goes across the country for winter break (which lasts a month). During this past month of break, I've been becoming increasingly disinterested in her. On the other hand, she's getting more and more into me (think "absence makes the heart grow fonder").
Perhaps important information:
I can not imagine myself ever falling in love with this girl (I do however love her as a friend, and was careful to draw the distinction between loving her and being in love with her).
I mean her *absolutely* no harm whatsoever, but I can't imagine having to break her heart. She treats me very well and I honestly don't have a decent reason for not wanting to be with her (with the exception of the previously mentioned fact, and my growing seemingly unfounded disinterest).
I expect reddit will just tell me to end it with her asap, and just be entirely honest.
My current plan of action is to show my disinterest, until she breaks up with me (so that I don't have to). This however feels dishonest somehow.
Is this a decent strategy? How might it be improved? or do I just scrap this plan for something else altogether? | GF is very into me. Feeling is NOT mutual. Considering breaking up/waiting until she breaks up with me. What do? |
t3_3ly73c | relationships | I [21 F] love my friend [23 M] of half a year, who also loves me more than a friend. Relationship is deep where he can see my naked soul and my fears and still care a lot for me, but I don't see him as BF material. The past month he doesn't seem to care anymore about me. It's crushing me. | In the beginning of the friendship we clicked so well, to the point of thinking we were soul mates of some sort. We were acting like a couple but we never announced to each other to be a couple. So we were and still are between friendship and love relationship.
Now, the past month he's been distancing from me so much. Barely contacts me or hanging out. He's going through a lot of shit in his life and I'm letting him be for that.
Then he said "I'd only care for a girlfriend and family, and all my friends can eff themselves" (he's a special person, a lone wolf). He wants to be in a relationship with me, if that happens he'd care for me with his whole heart.
He's the only person I've ever met to see right through me, who pointed out all my fears and flaws and told me to overcome them. These are things I've never told a soul, and he saw it all. That's why I'm holding on to him.
But I can't be in a relationship with him for several reasons.- He can't provide with anything except for his care and wisdom.- Think about that. That's why we're "just friends" and what does he do with friends? He doesn't care about friends.
I'm standing here not knowing what to do with him. I'm in love with him but can't invest in him to be my BF. If we stay friends, he won't be there for me at all. | He's both yes and no BF material. If I become his girl, he'll love me so much. If not, then he doesn't care about me. |
t3_j2tkh | running | Crippler sideache; couldn't find advice on search | Sorry if this has been asked before. 22 yo guy here, used to running around 3.5 miles 3x week. Today, I ran 5.5 miles or more all in one go. I live in a very hilly area, probably lost 1000 feet of elevation and gained it back and then some during the run.
Real downer; right at the last mile or so, at the top of the last nasty hill, I got a cripplingly bad sideache in my right side. I tried to run through it for about a minute or two, but felt like I was going to puke and the stabbing pain was pretty unbearable.
Walked it off for about a half mile, then started jogging again and it was mostly gone/relatively bearable.
Anyone know what causes this? Didn't eat much before running, think I did hydrate enough. Maybe just not used to running that long/sustained lung action or something?
Still stoked on 5.5 miles in one hour, counting the walk and the vertical, considering how recently I got back in to running! | Bad sideache in right side, right below rib cage, after 4 miles hard run mostly uphill. Hydrated enough, didn't eat before running, dunno what the problem was. Any help would be great. |
t3_gag5x | AskReddit | Historically speaking, how did America (not everyone) because so obsessed with religion? What caused that shift towards the importance of religion? | After travelling in Europe, where Inquisition took place and where you will find churches all over, it did not strike me as a religion based society. Now I might be putting a lot of people in the same bag, and I apologize to that, but I do seem to have this feeling that somehow the US realized the use of religion to promote political/social/economical views, and that had become part of what I see in some news outlets.
I am not talking just specifically about the Westboro, Scientology and all the religion nuts around there preaching against homosexuality, I am talking about the whole in Go-d We Trust, and Go-d Bless America and the heavy use of religion in media outlets. I did not see that in any other country I ever been in.
I understand why it might be used right now, I just cannot pinpoint when was that shift made. (Mind you, I am from Canada, spiritual guy, so I might be missing some information here. I was also born in a South American country where the church has a lot of political say). | How/Why did the US developed a shift towards religion and make it a big part of the culture/media/society? |
t3_4oxvg2 | relationship_advice | I think I (24f) caught my fiancé (32m) on a dating site...again | Long story short, caught my fiancé early on in our relationship on Tinder. Had a friend see his profile and send me screenshots of his picture. I had a huge upset about it and he went on for weeks promising he would never do something so foolish again. Initially he said his reason was cause we were fighting and he was bored; but I learned he had been messaging other people and sharing our problems with them. Big mistake.
Today I had to pay rent and couldn't remember our account number so I told him I'd need to go look through his emails to find the statement. He then gave me his phone to look up the email.
The weird thing was, when I went to type in the search function, the suggested searches were: amazon, tinder, bumble, ...
So I'm assuming those were his recent searches right? He must have looked up the emails that contained those words and deleted it.
I feel crazy and so I asked him straight up if he was on a dating site. He denied it, then claimed the app was on his phone months ago. MONTHS AGO? As in before our huge fight about it? He said he couldn't remember but later changed it to say it was right after our huge fight
I'm livid. I don't know what to believe. I'm hurt and I don't know what to do because I feel like the proof was staring right at me.
If you have an android phone and use gmail, when putting a search in the box, does it show your most recent searches or did I just pick a fight over nothing? | Possibly caught fiance in a lie attempting to hide being on a dating/hook up app which he has lied about before. Advice? |
t3_295tk9 | Advice | My girlfriend and I have been in a 2 year long relationship. I am a stoner/occasional drug user and she is very anti drugs. Its the only major problem our relationship has had and we haven't been able to work anything out. She binge drinks and I have to take care of her weekly because shes so drunk. | We constantly fight about my use of marijuana and recently I've had the option to take shrooms which I have once before and the effects of them were the most enjoyable long lasting effects that still to this day has effected my quality of life. I really want to eat them and I just know it won't work well with my girlfriend.
Ive quit tobacco for her and don't smoke weed often at all anymore. I've even made it into butter form so I don't have to smoke or vaporize it, which for some reason is a big deal to her. Most of my friends don't really hang out with me anymore because they enjoy to smoke and just socialize, which I can agree is using the substance to much. However, after a long day at work or something i'd like to go home and smoke a J without my woman getting very angry with me and trying to start a fight.
I don't push drugs onto her or ask them to regularly do them, but there have been times where she has joined in.
I pay 1/3 of the rent with her and another roommate, our house is spotless, and I buy most of the food. I'm not lazy and I work 45 hour weeks. I feel like I should be able to cut loose and use a substance without feeling like a dirtbag. | My girlfriends anti drugs view clashes with a big part of my life style and it has cause us conflict for our two years we have spent together. |
t3_3y9ceb | relationships | [22 M] with my GF [20 F] of 1.5 years. What's the nicest way to break her heart? | This is long and convoluted so thanks in advance for bearing with me through it all, if more details are necessary I'll add them as people ask.
My gf and I have been dating for about 1.5 years, starting to get closer to 2. We met in college and I have since graduated but she is still attending and has another year and a half left. She currently lives with me and 3 other roommates and all of us are very good friends and we spend a lot of time together and even play a Co-ed sport all on the same team with some of our other friends too.
My gf came to live with me not because we decided to move in together but rather because she kept having shit luck with roommates at college and ending up spending all of her time with me and my roommates anyway. Looking back, it was not the smartest decision but I tend to be a very logical and sensible person and it made the most sense at the time both financially and for her well-being.
Cutting to the meat of the chase I'm quite simply not in love with her, but she is in love with me. We get along very well still and we're friends but I struggle to view her in any romantic fashion anymore, the closest thing she is to me is more sister-like. I feel like I'm always watching out for her and helping her deal with all her issues because I'm afraid of seeing her get hurt, but not because I'm romantically interested in her. I've come to realize that I'm in turn hurting her by staying with her while not reciprocating her feelings, but I can't for the life of me figure out a feasible way to end our relationship.
So Reddit how can I ease my way out of this relationship with a good friend, who is good friends with all the rest of my friends without utterly breaking her heart or ruining any chance of us ever being friends again. Additionally we currently share a room and a bed, so that would be another awkward situation to neutralize. | Not in love with my gf but she is with me. We both share a friend group. How do I break up with her. |
t3_3hwzyt | jobs | Got a degree that was half EE, half CS in order to have more career options. Realizing that it just makes me under-qualified for both. | So I graduated this past Fall from university with a BS in Electrical and Computer Engineering. I thought that this would be a good degree because I'd be able to follow either EE or CS career tracks. I've moved to the Silicon Valley area because my family lives around here but I'm realizing I didn't learn a lot of the fundamental knowledge for either EE or CS, despite brushing the surface of both. That, in addition to the competitiveness of this area is really killing my confidence with the job hunt. I had a software engineering interview before I moved here but was unable to answer a lot of the technical questions well. Since coming to this area, I haven't been able to land a single interview in the field.
I want to eventually go into software engineering, but at this point, I'd really take anything that's slightly relate-able.
Do you guys have any recommendations or advice as to what paths I can take?
I really appreciate it. | Graduated with an EE/CS degree that I thought would give me more options, instead, it keeps me under-qualified for both EE and CS jobs. Also living in one of the most competitive tech areas of the States. |
t3_2u22jd | relationships | I'm curious if anyone else has any success with turning their fwd into a long term relationship. | So I (18m) met this girl (18 F)
at the college and she's an all around amazing person. Ive kind of gotten to know her well in the weeks we've talked. She makes me laugh a lot and I seem to make her laugh a lot too. We're both physically attracted to each other so I decided to make a move. Long story short she doesn't want a relationship at the moment(I completely understand) but she does want to be fwb.
I really like this girl and I would like to maybe see if a relationship could grow out of it, but I'll take the fwb of course. Does anyone have any good experiences of this happening to them and if you have any advice to maybe further this. :) thank you | I like a girl and she wants to be fwb and I'm happily accepting but I would love for a relationship to flourish out of this. Advice? |
t3_1035qp | relationships | I [19M] don't know what to do with my [21F] girlfriend. | Myself and this girl have been dating for almost 4 years now, since i was a sophomore in high school, she was a senior at the time. We maintained a long distance relationship while she was away at school, seeing each other about every other weekend. When i went to school i broke up with her, dick move i know right? but we got back together after about a month. We still saw each other every couple weeks at school.
Anyways we are at a point now where i don't know what to do. I don't feel like i still want to date her. I don't like the person she has become, or maybe that i just realized she is. I think she is too self centered, complains too much etc.... The only problem is i feel like it would "break her heart" too much if i broke up with her. I feel this way because of what happened when we originally broke up as well as her basically saying it. (whenever we get into a fight or something she'll say "i just don't want to lose you" "i don't know what i would do with out you" etc....) I can't break up with her because i don't want her to feel that pain. Any possible advice you guys could give me? | I don't think i want to be with my girlfriend of four years anymore but care about her too much to break up with her. |
t3_naewy | relationships | Trouble with my gf ex husband | Reddit,
25/m and my 38 y/o gf are having serious issues with her ex-husband. He makes threats towards me like kicking my ass and at times killing me. He actively watches her house, stalks her, and hunts me down. The only reason she's put up with it for this long is for her daughter to have a good relationship with her dad. He doesn't work so he has all this time to do things like this. It's gotten to the point where I have to have her pick me up since he knows what i drive and doesn't know i'm there. My son and I have had to leave because he was coming over to start trouble with no regards to the children. I'm at my wits end trying to figure out what i can do, not only to preserve my relationship, but keep what i consider my family safe. We live in WV and from what I understand they don't have a law against stalking, and she won't take out a restraining order, although she has in the past, because she wants her daughter to get to see her dad. Please help. | My g/f ex husband hunts me down like a dog trying to harm me and interferes with our relationship. |
t3_1gs8mm | personalfinance | College student working on building my credit. Where to go from here? | I've been getting credit card solicitations ever since I started college three years ago, but while I knew I'd have to build some credit before graduating, I kept throwing away the mailers until a couple of months ago. After doing a little research, I decided to get a Discover It card around the beginning of May. Since I'd previously only had my three years of Perkins and Stafford loans and a Les Schwab credit account I opened back in October when I bought a new set of tires, I hadn't checked my FICO score before; to my surprise, the packet that came with my card said that I had a 704, and they gave me a $2500 credit limit. I'm being good with a card--I'm keeping the balance below 30% of my limit, paying well above the monthly minimum, making those payments right after I get my statements, and not using the card for anything I couldn't just use my debit card for (there's no real penalty since I have 0% APR for a while, and I'm getting cashback rewards).
I've been told that the 704 score and $2500 limit are pretty good for my age and credit history, but since I'll need to find an apartment to rent and hopefully buy a new car after I graduate next year, I'd like to make my credit situation as favorable as possible. So are there any particular things I should do to that end? I'm planning on making some payments toward my student loans soon to reduce the total before I graduate, but should I look into getting another credit card or two after a few months? | I'm a 21-year-old with one credit card and it sounds like I'm in a decent credit position for my age. Where can I go from here to have the best possible credit after I graduate in eleven months? |
t3_36heo9 | tifu | TIFU by not reading my exam timetable | Hey reddit so I'm still in shock about how idiotic I was today but I feel you might get a kick out of it. Apologies in advance for my poor writing.
So I am in the middle of study leave whilst I prepare for my exams I have already sat 4 and tomorrow was supposed to be sitting my maths exam.
This morning I woke up but decided to stay in bed and relax, my mum was taking my siblings to school so I didn't need to get up for another hour. When I finally decided to get up I made some breakfast when I hear a phone rings. I pick it up and turns out it's my school asking why I'm not in for my maths exam today. The school thinks they are talking to my dad and don't realise that I'm having a miniature heart attack on the other end of the phone. They tell me that I have 15 minutes to get to school otherwise I will not be able to sit my exam.
I hang up the phone, race to my room to get changed and start telling my mum that I need to get to school soon otherwise I will fail an exam I have waited 2 years to sit.
We jump in the car and race to the school both of us freaking out. My mum tells me I need to start running soon because she can't get through traffic. I get dropped off on the top of a hill close to my school and I sprint for my life getting my uniform covered in mud and almost tripping myself up in the process. I arrive at school to be escorted to class by a teacher telling me that I have still have time to sit the paper. I arrived to the exam 20 minutes late and was able to finish it.
If the traffic was worse or I didn't pick up the phone at all I could be telling more heartbreaking story. | I thought my maths exam was tomorrow but it was today. Made it in time to finish the paper, all is good. Read your exam timetable. |
t3_19t1mb | dating_advice | 2 months no reply, now [20F] wants to go out with me [M26] | Met a girl. Hit it off really well. Followed by long email conversations for a couple of weeks
Asked her out pretty soon - she agreed, wanted to take along friends though. Got postponed. She told me she is going to get back to me - never did.
Since I had already followed up on a message from me after she didn't reply for a few days I didn't this time.
A reliable source told me at the time, she was interested but wasn't sure how she could make the time - she is really busy studying/working (since I've heard that from mutual friends I know it's true)
Yesterday,about 2 months afterwards, I got a message from her... very apologetic, asked me to meet up and make good for the postponed activity.. (assuming without friends)
I don't know what to make of this, I really really don't. I was really disappointed when she didn't answer - I'd rather take a "sorry not interested" or a "fuck you!" than no answer at all, it's rude. I really liked her though so ending this way felt pretty bad. Message reminded me of the feelings for her, though I think I'd have to meet her to see if they are still there. | She rainchecked a date and wanted to take friends along, didn't reply for 2 months and now wants to meet up (assuming without friends) |
t3_3873vq | relationships | Me 20F with my boyfriend 21M, cannot agree about contraceptives and not sure what to do? | Apologies for mistakes, I'm on mobile, and also sorry for this mot being a more delicate subject matter, but I need some outside opinions.
Been with the boyfriend for a year and a half. I'm on the pill and we are both clean of stds so about a year ago we stopped using condoms. I love not using condoms, it feels far more intimate and I never liked them in the first place.
But this month we have had to go back to using them because I am on a course of antibiotics, and he now says that he thinks he might want to continue using them afterwards because he's worried about pregnancy.
Now, I know its better to be safe than sorry, but the idea of condoms all the time is starting to put me off the idea of sex too. I have tried a compromise of wearing them around the week I would ovulate if the pill were to fail and leaving them off otherwise and he said he wasn't sure. If I were on a different form of contraception like the iud, it wouldn't change anything, and he trusts me to take the pill (he sees me take it every morning if he is paying attention).
Its an otherwise great relationship and I don't know what to do about this because I don't want either of us to be pushed into something we are not comfortable with sexually. Help? | I hate condoms and boyfriend is considering using them again full time. How do we resolve this so that we are both relatively happy? |
t3_149bd9 | tifu | TIFU by getting friendzoned by a delivery | So I somehow get dream tickets to a basketball game for myself and this girl I've been into for a while. 11 rows up playing her hometown team, the perfect date. Everything goes perfectly well, got her to convert to my team, my team won, she's giving me the eyes... and my scumbag brain somehow freezes up when the kiss came comes on RIGHT BELOW. The cameraman looked to pan up to us but was cut off before he could. Night continues to various antics but end with me only giving her a hug outside her dorm. She lingered and goddamn did I freeze again. Something told me that this girl was worth more than that for some reason.
Now this is only fuck up number one of the weekend and this is only Friday.
Get a text the next morning saying that there is a date dash that night. Who would be better to bring than this amazing lady for a potential second chance?
Pregamed the date dash lightly as I don't want to be a complete retard in front of a girl I cared about. Turns out this was the entirely wrong drunk to be. Again, she's giving me all the right signs but I'm entering the point of drunk where I still have some semblance of morality and decide against making out with her on the dance floor when yet another opportunity arose. Night ended with me walking her back to her dorm but fucked it all up by not having my arm around her. Get the same goodbye as last time. Walk back in about 3/4 of a mile back to my apartment the rain, defeated, and pissed off, but not disheartened quite yet.
Fast forward to Monday and I get a delivery saying "I had so much fun with you this weekend! I'm glad we became friends". Friendzoned goddamn pretty hard. | I friendzoned myself with a dream girl by not making moves two nights in a row and received the friendzone in a delivery. |
t3_10g6r2 | AskReddit | What's the most irritating after sales service you ever experienced ? | I begin, i recently bought an ASUS motherboard with which i had problem with the BIOS. First of all their submit form is a pain to fill with lots of irrelevant question like hdd brand, cpu socket (i already filled the asus motherboard serial number). I then took time to explain my problem and with all technical details (i'm a computer guy). I received an email two days later saying "we do not provide driver for linux" while i never ever mentioned that i wanted some (moreover the problem was not with the OS but with the BIOS) and then asked me which bios had i installed while not only i mentioned it on the form but i even submitted the link to their official image.
These kind of after sales service are very frustrating. I don't understand why they doesn't make more effort i mean i won't purchase anything from them with behavior like this. Tell me reddit, what's your most irritating experience ? | after sending a feedback for a broken motherboard, waiting two days for an automatic answer which ask me question i already answered. |
t3_3to710 | relationships | Me [31f] reconnected with long lost love [33m]. Buuutttt he's married | I fell in love with him when I was 15. Even though I was young, I knew what that feeling was. I had asked him out a few times back then and he always turned me down. He always said it was the age difference but that never stopped us from being friends. I was relentless. Not annoying or overbearing but I did not give up. There were a few times where we could've hooked up but he, to me, was better than just a hook up.
I tried to win him over for two years before finally accepting my fate, he and I are not going to be together :'(
Life goes on. Couple years later I'm in a relationship and get pregnant. Start a family and all is good.
Well wouldn't you know, this motherfucker was still in my head. Still clunking around in there. Memories and feelings all the time.
I'd run into him every now and then and still, every single time I'd get a rush. Butterflies in my stomach, flushed cheeks, sweaty palms. It was always thrill but it was always a bummer too.
Heard he was getting married and I was happy for him. Happy that HE was happy.
Well about another 7 years go by. My life is much different now. Not with my kids father anymore. Moved out of state. Moved on. Or so I thought. Randomly facebooked him for no reason other than I can and I know he won't respond. Motherfucker responded!
Now we've been texting amost daily
He is still married.
The feelings are still there. He feels the same.
We shouldn't be talking. | hadn't talked to my "the one" in years. Got some balls. talked. now I don't know what to do |
t3_51ul0e | relationships | My [20M] girlfriend of three months [19F] broke up with me due to depression and not being over her ex. How to win back? | Ok so first off, I am aware I was a rebound for her. It's weird because she had gotten really interested in me around May, and we talked till July and started dating. She had broken up with her ex in April. She became super needy/clingy to me and things were great. She became distant a few weeks ago, started ignoring me, blowing me off to hang out with friends, wouldn't talk to me as much, talked to everyone else more. After I confronted me about this she told me she was going through a bad depressive episode, worse than it had ever been. She said she distanced herself because she didn't want to talk to me while she was like this. She still talked to me on good days. A few weeks ago she came into contact with her ex who told her "I dont want you in my life" and after that she became really distant to me. I wanted to communicate more so I tried to keep reminding her that I was there for her, I cared, etc. She'd ignore me and then after I poured my heart out to her and tried to make her understand how much I care, she said she wanted to be single, and cut contact with me. She messaged me later in the day and told me that she in her emotionless/emotionally unstable/depressed state, and her not still being over her ex, she doesn't want to date anyone. I asked her if there was any hope for us in the future and she said she couldn't answer that for now. I really don't want to lose her permanently and I really want to date her when she is feeling better, but I am afraid that by the time we are back in contact, she'll already have fallen for someone else? Is there a good way to handle this? She talked to a friend of mine that's close to her and told him that she knows she has feelings for me, she just can't show them the way she is. | I got dumped because she was too emotionally unstable to handle a relationship currently, and not over her ex. Is there a way at this point to win her back later on? |
t3_3bklly | relationships | My GF [22 F] of 8 months wants to stop using condoms and I [23 M] do not | Me and my girlfriend met in graduate school and have up to this point everything has been perfect since we began dating 6 months ago. Prior to meeting her I was a virgin, while she had a few prior sexual partners.
She is on the pill, which I understand has a very high success rate but for me it isn't enough by itself. She has experienced sex without a condom a few times, so she obviously knows the difference between what it feels like with and without one on.
I trust her with basically everything in my life but I cannot get over the fear of a possible pregnancy (I realize a condom isn't 100% either but I feel better using one).
I have had friends who have been seeing girls who stopped taking the pill, and a pregnancy occurred. I trust that she would never do something like that, but I feel better knowing I have some control over being protected.
Any input from the community would be greatly appreciated! | girlfriend is on pill, doesn't want to use condoms anymore but I'd rather wrap my willy than pay a milly for childcare |
t3_3m0btv | relationships | Do I [27m] need to stop hooking up with coworker [31f] ? Need advice | For the last couple of months I have been hooking up with a coworker. At the onset I was sure to be very honest about not wanting to get into anything serious, and she said she was okay with that. Lately she has been making comments about it being a stupid decision to not date her. She has also tried to start dating other people during this time but for one reason or another continues to want to meet up. She asked why I don't want to be in a relationship the other day, and I replied that I am not in a mind state to be in one. she is unaware I am a recovering addict, and I don't really know of I can be honest about it considering our work relationship. ( the last partner I had was very free with that and used it against me constantly even though I have been sober) . I know that i need to work on myself and my issues before my next relationship. I know I can't give her what is needed from a relationship. Do I need to stop hooking up with her before she gets hurt, or things get messy? | Someone from work that inahve been hooking up with seems to be interested in more, but I am not. Do I need to stop hooking up? |
t3_1z2j1g | relationships | My [20 F] boyfriend [21 M] makes me feel bad about asking to spend more time with him. | Known him for about 10 months, but we've been official for 4 months as of today. Sex life is great and we've got no past baggage (ex's etc.) dragging us down.
However we got very different schedules. Where he is constantly busy (working freelance as a programmer, finishing his Master thesis). I'm just finishing my undergraduate degree. His busy schedule limits our physical interaction to about once a week (twice if he finishes up early, or a deadline gets extended).
He does try to chat with me every night without fail. However I want to see him more often; and feel that 'chatting' and texting isn't "quality" time spent together.
He only lives a 10 minute commute from where I live. But whenever I bring up the topic of spending more time together, It turns into a full blown up argument with me always ending up as the "immature", "unsatisfied" "selfish" person in the relationship. With me crying and apologizing for 'taking' up his time- feeling incredibly bad and guilty.
I understand that he prioritizes his work and academics. But he fails to understand that I need to see him more.
Every other aspect of our relationship is perfect. And he does make me extremely happy. I just wish I could spend more time with him. | Boyfriend always "counts" the amount of time we spent together. And is constantly calling me out on never being 'satisfied' enough. Making me feel extremely guilty whenever I want to be with him more. |
t3_engr2 | AskReddit | Not enough people view religion as a coping mechanism; why do you think this is? | Disclaimer: I am not religious, I'm not sure if that means anything for this discussion, but anyway....
Let me explain my outlook: People who are religious, in my experience, insist that their religion is a matter of faith or spirituality, almost something that cannot be defined or understood by someone who does not participate. Yet, I feel that I understand religion and faith very well, well enough that I sometimes I wish I had the capacity to 'believe'. I am just unable to accept a spiritual belief system as my coping mechanism (I prefer whiskey).
Religion and spirituality are coping mechanisms for life. Something that is set up so that, no matter the circumstances, situation, context, actions or feelings of the participant, they can lean on their religion as a concrete comfort system that lets them know that everything will be alright. From Abrahamic to Buddhism and other oriental religions, the reasoning behind religion is that if you live your life a certain way, believe in something, or even just attend a service regularly, you will be fine. For this to work on the participant, the participant must of course believe in it, and in doing so, is comforted, allowed to forget their troubles, and be content.
Many rituals and religious customs are even geared towards this aspect. Have you ever wondered why prayer and meditation are not considered the same thing? They both require to participant to sit quietly and calmly reflect on their inner selves, actions and thoughts. Both activities have a calming effect, mostly due to simply sitting still and breathing easy, relaxing the body and mind. Other rituals such as mass, the holy sacrament, and blessings create comfort through repetition. Humans are naturally creatures of habit and having something you can always count on occuring helps keep them content.
That said, why does this not seem to be the conventional view of religion for religious and non-religious people? Why must there be conflict between religions? If everyone just viewed their own and other's religions as coping mechanisms similar to alcohol, drugs, videogames, reading, exercising etc... and saw differences as simply a choice of a way to cope, wouldn't the world be a better place? Why don't people do this? It baffles me.
So reddit, any thoughts, any suggestions? | If everyone viewed religion/religious choice as a simple preference in coping methods, wouldn't we all be better off? Why isn't this the case? |
t3_34gj9q | relationships | I [17 M] do not know what to do with my [17 F] prom date | So my situation is as follows.
I asked a girl to prom about 3 to 4 months ago. The asking went well and yay! I am going to prom. The weeks after the asking and building up to prom had a lot of friendly/bordering flirtatious conversation between me and her. Before I go on though, I want to clarify that I am not interested in a relationship whatsoever, I just love talking to my friends (the girl I asked was a friend) about the weirdest things and laughing.
On the day of prom, I was ready to experience this wonderful night with my date. Little did I know, my mom decided to become a tiger mom on that day. She insisted to follow me wherever I went, whether it be to the pre-prom picture taking to eating at a restaurant with my prom group. Naturally, I was slightly pissed but hey, at least I get to be free from her once I am at prom...right?
While I was waiting in line to enter prom, my mom went up to me and told me I could only stay for half of prom and then she would take me out of prom. No matter how much I tried to reason with her, I could not get her to budge. With this in mind, I went to prom and tried to be the best date I could be to my date. When the time arrived for me to go, I broke it to her that I had to go early. Keeping in mind that she is a shy girl, she said it was alright and that I could go. I could not tell if she was angry, sad, neutral, etc, so I just hugged her and went.
Fast forward to today, she has not been talking to me at all. I really love talking to all of my friends and hate it when there is some awkwardness between a friend and I. Now that that awkwardness has happened, I am not so sure what to do. I don't want to act as if I was clingy but I also want this resolved so I can go on laughing and having fun conversation with her. Reddit help pls :-/ | Mom pulled me out of prom early when I had a date, now date is not talking to me anymore and I don't know what to do. |
t3_4hjzvs | relationships | I [26M] broke up with my girlfriend [26F] of almost 2 years because the love was gone. Did I mess up? | I'll try to keep this short and kind of vague, in case someone I know sees this so please don't upvote this too much. My girlfriend Kate and I met almost 2 years ago, and started dating shortly after. At first, things were great. We clicked really well, liked a lot of the same things, and literally never fought. We don't live together, but we had started to discuss maybe moving in.
But more recently, things had started to die down. I don't know how else to put it. It's like the love evaporated. I liked spending time with her, but found myself not really caring one way or the other whether she was around or not.
I want to be very clear: there's nothing wrong with her. She's a smart, beautiful girl and we had a lot of fun sometimes. The sex was honestly the best I've ever had. But at the end of the day, I felt like the "love" part left, and I needed something more from a girl than just generally liking them. I started second-guessing whether I was really in love with her at all, or whether it had just been puppy love.
She, however, thought I nearly walked on water and was SO in love with me and wanted to marry me. I just didn't think I could be that person for her. So yesterday, I broke up with her. I felt bad, but told her that I just didn't see a future with her.
Now, my friends are acting weird about it and have started hinting that I made a mistake. I'm confused. I miss her, but things felt so dead to me. Even when we were on dates, it was fine, but I wasn't over the moon or anything anymore. But now everyone seems to think I messed up and is saying it's a normal relationship stage. Being bored and not in love is normal?
Did I fuck up? How do you know if you've found the one? | – After dating my girlfriend for almost 2 years, I realized the passion isn't there and I don't think I love her anymore. I broke up with her. Now I'm wondering if I made the right choice. |
t3_3unu0w | relationships | My [20M] GF [20F] of 2 years, had an emotional break down and has been feeling guilty because she can't give me the attention she thinks I deserve and is worried about the things that are 'bigger' than us. | We've been dating for 2 years now and as far as relationships go we've been pretty damn solid throughout. No serious arguments or fallouts.
She's recently gone back to Uni(Which is about a 5 hour drive away) and she's now unsure if she can give me the time I deserve and feels as if she would be stringing me along.
Thing is I've never demanded an absurd amount of attention or anything like that, the distance has always worked out well because it let's us do our own thing in the week and we will on average see each other at least 6-8 days a month, depending on holidays.
When we're together we're honestly flawless, she even accepts this to be the case as well. But when she leaves for Uni again she gets all worried and panics and is unsure she can maintain the relationship and is feeling guilty because her mind keeps on changing.
Am I fighting a losing battle or is there some way I can reassure her once and for all? | GF feels guilty because I can put more into the relationship than she can. She thinks she's stringing me along by repeatedly changing her mind whether she can make it work or not. |
t3_1rwa5d | relationships | I get incredibly defensive when I'm told something that I don't want to hear. [24M] | Title says it all. If my fiancée tries to tell me something and I don't want to hear it, I shut down. That's the best way I can describe it. I get really defensive and focus on one thing that was said, or that she's done, and it clouds everything that I could do to try and fix it.
By the time I realize what's happening, it's too late, and she's already incredibly upset and irritated. We've been dating for over 2 years now and honestly, every fight we have had has been like this. It's wearing us both out to the point of apathy, and that isn't what I want. I want this to work. I want to fix this, I just don't know how to change my defensiveness. | When my fiancée tells me something I don't want to hear, I focus on one thing she's said or done, not the big picture and I need help changing my automatic defensiveness |
t3_u85kj | AskReddit | Is what I'm doing normal for a university student? | Hey reddit,
This is a throwaway, but I'm just wondering if these changes are normal for someone my age, and if I'll regret it when I'm older. Sorry to dump this much text, but I normally never feel like I need validation for what I'm doing, but I just feel like I'm at a weird point in life.
To start off, just a bit of background (you can skip this). I'm starting my third year of Human Resource Management in the fall at a local university. I partied ridiculously hard in my first year and a half (going out 3 or more times a week, tonnes of shots, slept around, etc.) and I had a lot of drinking friends during that time. When I started my second year I dated this girl for a bit then we broke up and since then I haven't really dated at all, or gone out nearly as much.
Now for the recent part, I really buckled down in the last spring semester, and although I didn't do as good as I was before I'm still happy with my grades (3.7). I decided this summer to study for my LSAT because I really want to do some form of corporate/employment law. I also work about 50 hours a week at the co-op I got through the school hiring and supervising at a local factory. All in all, I work between 40-50 hours a week and study 10-20.
Now what I'm wondering, is this normal? I still see my friends occasionally but a weekend usually involves going to bed early, studying, and maybe grabbing a beer or something for a bit with friends. When I look at my friends though, I see a lot of them partying, and dating. I'm not butthurt about not being able to do that right now, but I'm just wondering if you guys and girls think I'm acting in a weird way for someone my age? I still keep in decent shape as well. | I'm 19, working full time for the summer at a demanding job, studying for my lsat and don't party or have a chance to date anymore, weird for someone my age? |
t3_2e9ti7 | relationships | Three years after getting divorced, I [34 M] still have absolutely zero interest in finding a new relationship & also zero libido. Should this bother me? | I'm sure that my traumatic divorce - following on from the shock of finding out about my wife's recent serial infidelity when she was already 3-months pregnant with "my" child (turned out to be a 1/5 chance) - is a big part of why I feel zero interest in women.
But here's the thing - I don't feel lonely. I don't ever crave companionship or sex. I don't ever think about women at all now, and haven't for years... except for the odd occasion like now when I wonder if there's anything wrong with me.
I did go on one date a few months back, finally gave up trying to dodge my friends effort to set me up. She turned out to be lovely - fascinating job, interesting, educated, attractive, tried to kiss me later on. And yet, the whole time I was there I couldn't wait to go home and finish my book.
After three years post divorce, these feelings only continue to grow stronger. Should this worry me? Should I seek therapy?
To avoid potential questions, I am certain I'm not homosexual. Or a misogynist. Perhaps I've got adult acquired asexuality...but from researching I'm dubious about that category. | Three years after getting divorced, I [34 M] still have absolutely zero interest in finding a new relationship & also zero libido. Should this bother me? |
t3_fmruh | self | Girlfriend owes $900 in roaming charges and neither of us can afford to pay it. | Basically, my girlfriend traveled to a neighboring city of her's for a few days and I called her. What neither of us knew is that roaming charges applied because it was technically "away from the home area". The charges accumulated to $900 and neither of us can pay that, being poor students. I'm living in a different city than her, and this is the only way we can communicate, because she doesn't have a computer. I can only visit her once a week, and basically it just fucking sucks...
My question is if there are any ways to get the charges reduced? And if it's possible to just pay the cancellation fees to get out of the contract or would she have to pay the bill and the cancellation fees. The company is Solo Mobile. | Girlfriend got fucked by a cell phone company and now has to pay $900. Is there any way to not have to pay that much money? |
t3_39sg4e | relationships | Me [25M] with my girlfriend [25F] of 2 years, am moving quite far away which requires her to quit her job and leave friends/family. Have told her we are incredibly close to breaking up and that it will end horribly. She refuses to believe that, thinks it will work. | Me and my partner (along with her 3 year old daughter) have been together for 2 years and have lived together for 9 months. During that time, it has become apparent (at least to me) that this relationship will not work for the long term.
I have taken a job in a town that is 9 hours away from our current location, in a place that neither of us has ever been. I have told her that this would be a good time to make a clean break as we are almost certainly going to fall apart after this move. However, she is atrocious with money, so I have also offered to financially support her and her daughter during the rest of the year to allow her to get financially secure (as I still do care greatly for both of them and do not want to leave them financially distraught).
She has stated that she needs a change, and will try and save money in the new town, and we will reassess the relationship at the end of the year. I find this very hard to believe, and also will find it hard to deal with the stresses of a) a new job, b) a new town, c) a relationship that is breaking me, and d) being the only father figure to a 3 year old (As we are taking her away from seeing her dad as often).
How do I deal with the next 6 months? | Girlfriend is coming with me to a new town, and I don't want to say no and leave her and her daughter financially distraught. |
t3_1lk2fv | dating_advice | I [20M] got a strange test from a [21F] friend i have history with | So this girl and I have history, but in late July/ Early August she said she wanted to be just friends because she was seeing someone.I was really upset about it, but I decided to ask her to lunch this week to patch up the friendship. But she sent this message today:
" He knows that I was talking to you for awhile and that I wasn't planning on hanging out with you since I started dating him, I t would just be hard to explain this entire conversation. I don't know. Maybe I won't mention lunch because this all sounds so confusing. But whatever I end up doing I won't tell."
Like I said, I really like her, but I'm not comfortable with this. Or am I misreading things? | GIrl I have history with sent a confusing/suggestive text, and she wouldn't want her bf to see it |
t3_2wzurp | relationships | Recent LDR with GF(19f) met in Mexico, she works @ a gym, frequented by her exes (M22) | Alright let me give you a little back ground
Recently met I believe to be the girl of my dreams this past week while on vacation in Mexico. This girl has it all the body, brains, personality, and genuine caring atitiude you look for in a girlfriend,did I mention shes a personal trainer, so she even has the brawn that I require as well. It was love at first sight we completely clicked, and I found myself desperately searching where she was when she wasn't beside me. This was supposed to spring break vacation. But I caught feelings hard, as did she!
We both bond over working out which is fine, I absolutely love that about her, but and honestly I feel this is the only but in this relationship. She trains exes and/ or trains with exes who take her videos or photos. We both live in Canada but are miles away, exactly a 7 hour flight unfortunately regardless though I plan on visiting her next month. I know what all my friends and co-workers are saying ( HEY MAN WAKE UP THIS WONT WORK) but something in my heart and intuition tells me she is the one. Is this possible to make this work and do you think its possible to suppress this jealous feelings of all these muscle bound dudes, some of them exes and or sexual partners, spotting and taking pictures of my girl friend.
Also we pretty much are in contact through facetime throughout the day so, No I don't believe she is cheating but I cant help but feel some sort of way. any help redditors would be greatly appreciated!! | Met my 19 f Gf last week in mexico, very jealous tendencies, she trains/ works out with exes or past sexual partners. What do I do? I really think I love her |
t3_52hltx | relationships | Me [27 M] with my love of womenfolk returning this spring desires a meaningful relationship but would like some serious pointers | I often see women I would like to speak to but my tongue turns to a very heavy lead and does not want to emit a syllable!
But now, I just really want to find like a special person and am willing to change.That's where you come in reader. If you can fill me in about everything beginnings that would really help me.
I'm moving in a few months to get another degree so I have the perfect environment to maybe find someone to hold a relationship with me at that time.
Things like how to let a person know you are curious about them or
want to know them more could help me.
What questions have you asked to get to know someone, that you don't know so well or even at all, better?
And once you are talking how do you say, "O let's do this again!"
Practical experience would help me most. Also it would be appreciated if you described how to make a connection relative to the day-to-day life experiences with a good/tempered disposition!
Thanks, and yes I do feel like an idiot writing this.
O and what's the perfect amount of time to do all of this, between five and ten minutes? Please don't say "feel it out" lest I am to reveal I am a blundering idiot.
Thanks for helping me! | Can you give me pointers on how to build intrigue in a woman through conversation while maybe opening the door to another casual joy of meeting? |
t3_3hd9qh | Advice | Saw SO Dad in 'strange' place, not sure what to do | I live in LA, in Koreantown the spa experience is very common, and there are many. I had a groupon to a new spa, thought I'd check out, not my normal place I go which is very professional and appropriate. (if you dont know Kspas have men/womens locker rooms where everyone is naked, very common to be in spa/sauna/hot tub naked and relax, no big deal)
Ok back to the story, I went to my new groupon paid for Spa to check it out and as I walk into main mens Spa I see my GF's dad sitting there, naked reading the paper, he looks up but doesnt really acknowledge me. At first I just think hey, this is awkward, but he probably just wants privacy and to chill out, like me, so ill give him space, no big deal. But during my time there I notice that this spa has very few koreans and dudes are for sure checking each other out, im getting a weird vibe I started to feel like people were watching me, or checking me out. I run into her Dad again about 30 min later and again he avoids me. Now its really awkward and I dont like the place anyway so I just get out of there.
Then I go home and read yelp reviews and online reviews, this place is a total gay cruising spot, for guys to come and meet up. Its cool, doesn't bother me, lots of places like that in LA but my GF Dad is married and has 3 kids, so not sure if I should mention to my GF that I saw him there, especially since he didn't even say hi to me. I feel pretty awkward now. | Saw my GF dad at a korean spa that later I read is a gay cruising spot. Should I tell her? |
t3_2enl8y | relationships | I [25 M] met a girl [24 F] who I really like on an online dating site, but she might be gay | Met a girl on an online dating site. She's really cool. I like her a lot, and she's plenty cute, but I remember when I first found her on the site I think she listed herself as bi. I didn't think too much of it, because she seemed to flirt back to me when I flirted with her.
It took us a while to meet up (I *do* sort of get the feeling that she was blowing me off for a bit), but we finally got to go out recently and it went really, really well. I think there will be more dates to go, but I saw on the site we originally met that she now lists herself as "gay" rather than "bi" and says she's only looking for girls.
This leaves me with a conundrum. I like her regardless. I think she's pretty, cool, smart, and funny. But I *am* looking for something romantic. Should I just outright ask this girl if she's gay and if dating is a possibility? I feel like that could be a little rude. I could also just see this through for a while and see if it comes up..."naturally." The other problem, I think, is that if she isn't actually gay--or is at least just bi--and she *does* think I'm attractive or like me back, I don't want to be scaring her off with such a forward question so early on.
Thoughts? | Met girl on dating site. Hitting it off, but now I think she's gay. How/when (if at all) should I ask about that? |
t3_cy4si | AskReddit | Can anyone help me identify what happened to my hands yesterday? | Last night, about 10 minutes after a jog (in which I, admittedly, pushed myself beyond my usual potential) I began to feel a very intense buzzing in my hands. Not quite the tinglings that you get when your hands fall asleep, but more like if you were to touch a piece of electrical equipment that isn't properly grounded. After about 2 minutes of this it began to get worse and worse and my hands slowly began to seize up. The fingers were stuck outstretched and began to push in against each other (sort of like the Death Touch from Kill Bill). It wasn't exactly painful, but the buzzing was very intense. It was to the point that I had to lay down to stop from freaking out.
My wife massaged my lower arms and I'm not sure if that made a difference or not. It took about five to eight minutes before the buzzing feeling began to subside and I was able to control a few of my fingers a little bit. About 3 minutes after that complete control returned and it was as if nothing had happened.
I'm certain that over extending myself in the jog caused my hands to seize up like this, but any advice about what I may have specifically done wrong would be amazing. I tried looking up the symptoms on google but could only find either people having it happen on one side of their body due to MS, or people having literal seizures in their hands, where the hand is shaking all over the place.
Thanks! | My hands started "buzzing" and tightened up like the Death Touch from Kill bill after I over extended myself jogging. What specifically may I have been doing wrong to cause this to happen? |
t3_ugjcf | relationship_advice | Noticed girlfriend becoming distant after we started our long distance relationship. Asked if she wants to break up. | Hey, I'll just summarize all the details. My girlfriend [18] and I [19] have been friends for over a year and in a relationship for about 9 months. We met in college but I had to go home after the academic year and we've been in a long distance relationship for a month so far. I noticed her becoming more distant, not interested as much to talk, making excuses for plans etc.
Anyways long story short, I ask her if she's happy with the relationship, she said that since I left she doesn't feel like we're that close anymore and losing that "spark". I ask if she wants to call it quits and that I need an answer. She says "I don't know" and because I have absolutely strong feelings for her and have a soft spot for her. I ask what she would need to make her decision, specifically time. She said she would need a couple of days, funny enough after that conversation we had a completely off-topic friendly conversation about life, school etc.
Most signs point to a break up, but the fact that we can still talk to each other as friends makes me think she either wants to try to work it out, or worse yet she wants to remain friends, but possible has another man. No evidence or explicit reason to think the second one, but it's a thought.
Anyways what would you guys think about this situation? | Gf becomes distant after LDR starts, ask to break up, she says "I don't know" and needs a couple of days. |
t3_30xs51 | tifu | TIFU by completely failing at hanging out | This happened last night, but if was after midnight to technically it was today.
My friend and I are pretty lost souls. We have a group of friends that we kind of don't like. They are fake, never answer calls, and will only hang out with us if they have nothing better to do. So for the most part, Its just my friend and I looking to do something.
Our mutual friend invited us to hang out with some of her friends, people we have never met. No problem, this is perfect. We can meet some new people and maybe make a few more friends. Nope. We got there, introduced ourselves, had some small talk. Then, we came to the decision that we should smoke some pot. So we called up a guy, and waited for him to come bring it. My friends I and walking outside to the main road, away from the group to wait for this guy to deliver it. He said he would be there in 5 minutes, but ended up taking closer to half an hour. A whole half an hour of missed conversation and introduction.
When we got back, the group was already sitting drinking, having a good time. When we returned, it was super awkward. There were no extra chairs at the time, so we ended up just standing like a bunch of dummies. But then here is were it gets bad. When I smoke, I get super quiet. I go into a trance. Im otherwise outgoing, talkative and engaging. But not this night. I wanted to try so bad to be engaged in the conversation but I just couldn't. We ended up playing cards against humanity, which I declined because I was simply unable to process the game in my mind. I was way to high. When the high wore off a bit, I asked for some cards and joined in for about 5 minutes or so before they quit playing. And that was it. I didn't say a word for almost the whole night, and neither did my friend. And its a shame too because those people will probably never want us back again because we were so boring. I was really hoping to meet some new people. It was probably the most awkward experience of my life. | I got invited to hang out with some people I don't know, got high, didn't say a word for the rest of the night, and made myself look super awkward. |
t3_4le6j0 | AskDocs | Throat closes while sleeping and can't breathe | I'm a mid 30's male, healthy, 6'0" not overweight. As the title reads my throat closes during sleep and I can't breathe. It's happened before but this month has happened twice. Last time I had to crawl out of bed to get my roommate to help me. It's very scary and I never heard about this happening to anyone.
I searched online and the most similar thing I found was "Obstructive Sleep Apnea" but I couldn't find anything about the throat's airway closing.
Has anyone heard anything about this?
Is there anything I can do to fix it?
What could be causing this scary experience?
Thanks for helping | My throat closes in my sleep leaving me gasping for air. Had to wake up my roommate because wasn't able to sleep for a scary amount of time. |
t3_11bytu | AskReddit | During my high school graduation I should have been flying high. Instead, I broke down and cried while waiting for the ceremony. My question is; Have you felt terrible at a time you should have felt overjoyed? What were you doing and why? | Shortly before my graduation, I got into a fight with my father. He was angry at me for getting into an accident on my bike with a car. In the school's parking lot, another student confused drive with reverse and broke my front fender. No one was hurt. The kid who hit me payed me ~$140 for the damages. I gave this to my father and he just pocketed the cash and didn't get my fender replaced. I called him cheap. One thing lead to another and he said he was going to kick me out on my 18th birthday. My father and I never really got along but I was broken up when he just gave up on me.
Two weeks later, I was in my cap and gown waiting for the ceremony to start. The fight still hung over my head. While everyone was smiling cheek to cheek, all excited for this huge moment in their lives, I was empty. I am not sure what set it off but I couldn't help but cry. I found a table in the quad of my school which wasn't bear many people and sat down. I broke down and sobbed for a good five minutes. At that time we had to line up to start walking to the ceremony. In the end, I was happy I graduated but bitter because of my father. Eventually I forgave him for being an ass and he didn't kick me out. I am currently in community college with a roof over my head. | Was going to get kicked out after my 18th birthday. Couldn't enjoy my graduation because of fight I had with father. Before the graduation ceremony I broke down and cried. |
t3_gd45c | AskReddit | Does anyone know where you can train to clean up crime scenes/accident scenes in the UK?. | 23 Year old,male from Scotland.
Been working a bunch of shitty jobs since I left school. I Kind of turned into a bit of a recluse because of a sudden life change, I have been searching for almost 3 years on what I could do for a career (taking college courses thinking it would love them then losing interest after 4/5 months. I'll admit i was a bit lazy I know I could of tried a lot harder sometimes when it came to studying I just couldnt seem to get things into my head.
Read some blogs and job forums "Jobs people look over when choosing careers" the most obvious one out of the lists was "blood/crime scene clean up", I like working alone once and I've been told at work "you don't need to clean up that much dude". I'm not too squeamish (thanks Internet and real life experiences.) My sense of smells a bit crap as well so all in all seems like a decent job for me to try and get into especially if there's hundreds if not thousands of people going for teaching/hospitality/software developer careers and not wanting to do "Dirty work".
I will try anything,my parents get a little annoyed at the amount of things I've tried.Favourite job so far has been in a warehouse just filling up orders no-one to hassle me all round easy job only temporary work though and I really wouldn't be able to do that for a career. | Looking for a job where I can clean up crime scenes/accidents outdoors or indoors, I have no idea where to learn and train for the career I have in mind. |
t3_30l9ap | relationships | Friends boyfriend is still doing coke after he swore not to - should I tell? | A few months ago I (F28) found out my boyfriend (26) had done coke on a night out with a couple of his friends. I knew it wasn't the first time, but possibly the first time since he's been with me (nearly 2 years). It may not sound like a big deal to some people but I have zero tolerance for drugs. I confronted him and he was devastated and has sworn not to do it again as he knows that would be the end of us.
I can't help but worry when he does meet up with these two friends that this is what they are doing, especially as I know that one of them has done it regularly in the past. When I found out, I told the girlfriend of one of others who I've become friends with. She also has a zero tolerance and basically told her partner the same thing - one more time and he's out.
This morning I found out that her boyfriend is still very much doing it, making trips to the other guys house in which to do so. He lives with her in her parents out and he is still very much in the 'fear of missing out' stage of life. He's always asking my bf to go out during the week for drinks but as my bf has a professional job, he resists. On the occasion where they do go out, this guy is always conveniently broke, meaning my bf foots the bill. Im getting more and more agitated about this as I'm looking to buy a house, get married and all the rest of that stuff - but if he continues to help his friend out, it's not going to happen. Plus there's always the nagging feeling that they will do coke together again.
What I want to ask is if I should tell my friend about her BF? I know that if it was me I'd want to be told but I haven't discussed this with my Bf and he would just tell me not to interfere. I have far more loyalty to her than her boyfriend and feel awful that this is happening behind her back. She's very sweet and naive and five years younger than me and I want her to know so she can push him into sorting himself out. | friend and I found out our BFs were doing coke - mine has stopped but hers still is - should I tell her? |
t3_kuf91 | AskReddit | Reddit city dwellers: Would you object to your public parks being filled with advertisements to offset budget problems? | This is happening in my city. "Filled" might be too much of an exaggeration, but it's too late for me to edit the title. There are certainly a lot. In any case, I don't like it, but I'd like to hear what people generally think. Most of what I'm hearing is along the lines of sure, if it helps, I don't mind the ads. | They are over-abundant vessels for ads under the guise of something useful, to fool people into accepting them without question. Now what say you? |
t3_e5gom | relationship_advice | Met a girl that looks just like my ex, don't know how to proceed... | My story begins like the majority of the stories in R.A. Dated a girl from high school all throughout college, , dated for 5yrs, she left me for another man after we graduated college, I moved to another city, got my own place, hit the gym, deleted her from facebook, etc etc etc...that was about a year ago...
So here I am minding my own business when I walk past this girl in the candy isle. When I initially saw her face, I thought my mind was playing tricks on me (which was weird, because I was actually sober)...In my shocked state, I "accidentally" threw a bag of gummy worms at her. When she turned to face me again, I was shocked. The girl that left me has a doppelganger...other than her voice (which I immediately heard from her displeasure of being hit with a bag of worms) she could've been her twin. Talking to her seemed all to natural. Normally I have 0 game, but it seemed real easy talking to her. We eventually ended by exchanging numbers, and continuing shopping.
Now getting back home and thinking about it, I don't really know how to proceed. It seems like a dream come true to find a girl I was so familiar with for the majority of my adult life come back to me in another form, but at the same time, it seems like this could be a horrible horrible horrible idea. What should I do? | She reminds me of a girl that I once knew, sees ex's face every time I look at her...want to know if its a good idea to get with her... |
t3_2mnoeh | relationships | Me [28 F] with my husband [30 M]- He didn't defend me when his friend said something inappropriate. Am I overreacting? | My husband posted a picture of us on Facebook. A friend of his who I have never heard of or met, made a comment to the effect of I was hot enough that he'd let me slap his dick around my face. My husband liked the comment. As I was texting my husband to tell him that I thought that was inappropriate, someone said that we were a good looking couple. My husband responded that someone should pay us to make babies, and that same friend commented that he would pay me to swallow his.
My husband deleted the comments and asked his friend to think of other ways to compliment me and ended the comment with a smiley face.
He thinks he handled the situation in an appropriate and mature way. I feel like the fact that he initially liked the comment and did not have a stronger reaction to someone speaking that way about me not only to him but in a public forum for everyone including me to see, indicates a lack of respect. I would NEVER let someone speak to me that way, and I am crushed that he did. It is the first time I can remember that I genuinely felt humiliated. The worst part is that the fact that now I feel like that is how my husband sees me.
Am I overreacting? How do I make my husband understand why I am upset? | My husband thinks asking his friend to compliment me in other ways is an appropriate response to said friend posting sexually explicit comments about me on Facebook. What should I do? |
t3_11iema | self | I'm afraid of growing up... | It was brought to my attention a few months back by a good friend of mine that we have no choice but to grow up in the end, eventually all our friends mature or change, forcing you to do the same. And ever since then I have been seeing how drastically things are changing, a lot of my friends are engaged or in serious relationships and some have even started families, none of them are careless and free like we were just 2 years ago.
These people who I used to see at parties and out in clubs now have other priorities in their lives other than partying and careless living. Everybody seems to be seeking relationships, or pushing out screaming brats.
Today it became very apparent to me that maturity is being forced upon me at an alarming rate when my 26 year old roommate today announced that he was moving out, although I am only 21 I feel like this is the start of a downward spiral, one of my closes friends who is also my other roommate has just found himself a girlfriend, guys I used to know party with now have kids and require 5 days notice just to catch up for a beer. Other friends I used to see frequently have now gone into serious relationships with girls who are "over the partying scene" and want to go to wine and cheese tasting parties.
Any parties I do go to have become lame and almost superficial, last week I went to a dinner party, I pretty much spent the entire time listening to 4 of my friend who have become couples talk about maybe heading to Thailand next year, and although I was asked to join I couldn't think of a worse nightmare.
On the other hand I have my group of friends who have not matured, but have rather regressed into idiotic drones who hang around with 16 year olds and have become rather creepy.
Is anyone also facing this problem? Or overcome it? How do I embrace maturity? So far my only plan is to work to save enough money so that I can go to Thailand to drink myself to death | I'm afraid of growing up, I want to be 21 forever but it seems like my friends will mature without me, leaving me to be the guy from the Blink 182 song "Whats My Age Again?" |
t3_1n0j13 | relationships | Me [30 M] with my ex GF[24 F] of four months. Break up in a small expat community. How to socialize and avoid a bad rep? | I had gf for a short time. Early in the relationship she told me that an ex was visiting and he would be staying with her. I protested and the situation changed to him staying with her friend.
We live in a foreign country that is very far away. Cancelling the trip was out of the question and she wanted to speak to him to clear up some things. It was a bad break up. Apparently she was supposed to go to his wedding that was called off and they ended up making their friendship into a fling/relationship while she visited from a different country. This ended when the guy ended up getting back together with his fiance not long after she left. However, the marriage/relationship didn't work out. Strange, no?
Big red flag. To make a long story short - I found out through a wall post on facebook that the guy and her were hanging out well past 3AM together. This was a huge flag and signaled the end of the relationship. There were other things but this was major. Some lite lying and not being as considerate as I would like a GF to be in general.
I ended the relationship soon after. However, I live in a very small foreigner community. I've noticed that all of her friends have been extremely cold to me. In addition, others that have moved to this area have at first been kind to me then very cold. I've found that those being cold to me have heard some variation of a rumor that I wasn't a great guy and I broke up with her in a harsh way or something.
How do I go about having a social life when I'm being outcast in such a way?
I will no doubt see my ex again. I'm not a social butterfly but I do like to have friends and socialize. | Break up in a small community makes me into an outcast. How do I go about socializing in this situation?dr! |
t3_1i720n | relationships | My [18f] boyfriend [18m] of 7 months is suddenly ignoring me. | He's never been the best at texting. It's not just with me either, we're in the same circle of friends so we have a lot of mutual friends who say he just sucks at getting back to people sometimes. However, now I feel like he's ignoring me on purpose.
He got back from vacation a few days ago and I hung out with him the first day he was back. He acted normal the whole time and then inexplicably started acting annoyed. I figured he was tired (he gets grumpy without sleep) because it was around 2am by then and he'd spent the whole day travelling. No big deal.
Then yesterday, I found out he and all my other friends were invited to one friend's house. I wasn't invited so I talked to some girlfriends about it. They were surprised I wasn't invited but told me not to take it personally, we've all been left out once or twice. That's true; I've been to group outings where one person wasn't invited just because there wasn't room in the car or we forgot or something. This afternoon I called him to see what he was doing tonight. He didn't answer so I figured he was busy and would call back, like he usually does. About an hour later, I decided to call him again. He answered, his tone was annoyed and he told me he was volunteering at a local event.
A little while later, I texted him asking if he was working the event both days (it's a two day thing) or just tonight. A mutual friend asked me to go clubbing with a group tomorrow and I thought I'd invite him if he wasn't busy. It's been 5 hours and he hasn't responded. There's no way he could be working this whole time because I volunteered there last year and shifts are only a few hours. Am I being stupid or is this weird? | Boyfriend gets back from a trip, hangs out with me like normal. Next day he and all my friends are invited to a party and I'm not. Today he's been ignoring me. Am I overreacting? |
t3_2rj797 | relationships | I [17M] have a question regarding my sister and my crush [18f] | In advance, I apologize for all these questions I have. I'm just a 17 year old guy who doesn't have much experience and would like a bit of help. Thanks to all who have given me advice so far.
So for those who don't know, I have crushed on this girl since early Senior year. I heard from her friends she liked me and we would make a good couple. We both are pretty quiet, friendly, and funny. I didn't take action because I felt like I was happy enough with my life and I didn't need a relationship.
December comes around and I feel like I should try to make something happen with her. I talk to her a little more and I try to get close. I guess I took too long, because:
1. I'm pretty awkward.
2. I look pretty good though but I've never been in a relationship, so i have no experience in getting anything started.
3. I didn't see her much, as we didn't have many classes together.
So, a few days after Christmas, she gets a boyfriend. I'm kinda sad and angry because i've been trying for around 2 weeks to get her. I know very well I started too late and it's my fault. She is the only girl in my school I have feelings for and apparently she did as well but I didn't do anything early.
So, *this is where the real topic starts.* My sister is one of her best friends. In fact, when she invites her over, that is when I talk to her most just about random shit. I was wondering if it was OK to **ask my sister about what she thought of me and what I can do to get her.** It's already pretty embarrassing as it is now, but I don't have a clue if this is right or wrong. So, that's my main question. I really want her bad. I understand it is good for her to have a relationship and the only thing I care about is her being happy. I just want a chance. I plan on waiting till they break up (If they do. It's a distanced relationship, they go to different schools.) | Wondering if I should ask my sister for relationship advice for her best friend (who I like) who is already in a relationship. |
t3_14ykvk | BreakUps | Why is my ex (20F) sending me (22M) something like this | We were together for 4 years. I ended up sending a couple inappropriate texts in October of 2011 that made her uncomfortable and take a few days to decide if she wanted to be in the relationship. We reconciled and I made the changes I needed to to avoid situations like that. Almost a year late she broke up with me out of nowhere because of on going trust issues from the prior situation that she tried to frame as her being depressed and lost and needing space. It's been about 3 months and we have been in contact here and there because we do value each other's friendship. It has been made more difficult by the fact that she has a family member in ICU and when she needed someone to come get her and support her she called me first. The main point of this was after a couple days where she hadn't contacted me back she sent me this
> "I know that you care, and you know that I care about you too. Thank you for trying to understand even though it is difficult to do. I will always be here for you as well; I dont want our friendship to be over."
It was really out of the blue and didn't make sense in the flow of any conversation we have had recently. What is she trying to say other than, I'm assuming, I don't want to be with you, but I want you to be there for me as a friend. | My ex of 4 years after 3 months sent me a message that didn't really fit into any conversation we have had recently. Not sure what to make of it. Hopefully nothing |
t3_1o5mn8 | relationships | My [20/M] girlfriend [20/F] of 6 months got tested positive for HPV. We both got tested clean when we started dating, she says she got it from her sister?! I don't know what to do. | I believe I'm in a tight spot right now. I've been been dating my loving girlfriend for about 6 months now, and as soon as we started having sex we got tested for STIs and both of our tests returned clean.
So this last week she went to her gynecologist for a routine check up and the doctor found a wart I guess, prompted her an HPV test and it got back positive.
Well, the thing is: My girlfriend lives with her sister. They share towels, bedsheets, a bathroom toilet and what not. It's known for a fact that her sister had (or still has, I don't know) HPV in the past that she got from an ex-boyfriend of hers; so my girlfriend excuses is that she got it from her.
So please enlighten me. Is it really possible to catch HPV like that or should I just face the fact that I got cheated on?
I believe it's a stupid question but, are there chances I am not infected?
Thanks in advance | GF is tested positive with HPV, says she got it from sharing bedsheets, towels and and bathroom with her HPV positive sister |
t3_3ix96t | relationships | Me [18M] with my girlfriend [19F] of 1 1/2 years is upset that I have posters of girls on my wall. | So a few days ago I decided to buy some posters for my new apartment since it is relatively plain in my room. I'm currently re-building my "Man Cave" (Just got a new desk and the second monitor setup put together) and I have a black and white poster of a girl laying down in a sexy pose wearing a bikini above my setup and I plan on having 2 more.
The other two posters are part of a Satio 3-set collection so I thought I'd order them since there was a buy one get one sale. Anyways, the point is that my girlfriend is upset at the fact that I have these posters on my wall. I currently live in a apartment with a friend from work and my girlfriend doesn't live with me although she does stay over a couple/few times a week.
I don't think that it should be a problem considering the women are clothed (swimsuits) and I don't understand what's the huge deal considering I'm a guy and I would rather have real women on my wall than anime girls (she said that was fine because it wasn't real girls).
Please let me know if this I'm being wrong by wanting to have a few sexy posters in my room. | Have posters of girls on my wall in my room and gf doesn't agree and is upset with me, am I in the wrong? |
t3_3m161x | relationships | My Girlfriend [18F] just left for college at Northwestern and I [17M] live in Chicago and am having too much trouble | So my girlfriend and I started dating a month or so before the start of this past summer, where I am going into senior year at my high school and she is going into freshman year of college. We are pretty serious and we knew that we would probably want to stay together when college came around, but regardless we spent a crazy amount of time together this summer.
Basically we didn't go a day or two without seeing each other unless one of us went out of town. We would find a way to see each other whether there was a good excuse or we just didn't want to be apart. I got used to this and started to enjoy our dependency on each other. She didn't want to do a lot of things without me, and she didn't have a super active social life so she really enjoyed spending time with me and wanted me to come along almost any time she hung out with friends.
Fast forward to her leaving for college, there were a lot of tears on both ends not gonna lie, but now just two weeks in I am super depressed for some reason and it seems like she's doing just fine. All of the sudden she made a lot of friends (of course) and suddenly appears to not want me around as often.
My biggest issue is that I feel too bad about this to share my feelings with her and I'm afraid she will think I'm selfish that I basically want her to want me more again. I know I'm supposed to let her go have fun but it's hard knowing she's doing so much better than me, seeing as I am miserable.
*I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH THIS SEMI-LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP I NEED ADVICE | Am I being too selfish that my (now) college gf doesn't depend on me as much as she used to. |
t3_v7v3c | AskReddit | Reddit, I need some answers. Tell me about your worst stomach flu/foodborne illness/drunken experience! | Hello Reddit! So here I am, awake at 4:30am with a bad case of the shits. This could either be caused by beer that I tentatively consumed yesterday for Father's Day (I don't normally drink, but Dad convinced me to order a beer sampler at a popular steakhouse/brewery to try), or by something I ate that was less than pristine.
I am also disheartened to report that I have a bad case of emetophobia ( I haven't thrown up since 3rd grade and I recently graduated from college in May; that is a long time!) and am hoping that I am not actually sick, as this would cause a great deal of psychological distress. | In order to obtain some data on the subject, please tell me about your experiences with gastrointestinal upset. Is throwing up really that bad? |
t3_4x74t4 | relationships | My (18F) friend (18F) of 13 years has a new boyfriend who she has stay over and he has been disrespectful to my house and sister(15F). | I live with my dad (45m) and sister (15f) My friend moved in because of family problems. She had just broken up with her past boyfriend and had been living in several places before then. At first she had a job and was paying her way.
Then she got let off and since has had one job that lasted a week. She now had a new boyfriend who she hasn't known a month and last Wednesday she asked my dad if she could have him stay over and i expected him to say no because i was not aloud to have boys stay over.
He has stayed 3 times since last Wednesday and she brought him around with a bunch of his friends the other day. They were being loud and messing around and me and my sister felt like we were forced upstairs.
She prefers that i be out and presumes that I'm staying out that night before asking me and Sunday she wanted me to stay out so he could sleep as we share a room.
This leaves my sister alone with them as my dad works nights and since my mom left we have been looking after ourselves at night. He has said to my sister at one point 'i don't care what you say I'm staying wether you like it or not.' Which i find very disrespectful and she has told my dad that she doesn't want him staying anymore.
I come home in a morning as my boyfriend has work at 9 and he has left ashtrays shoes and his bag lying around the living room.
My friend knows that we don't like him staying and when i said he wasn't going to stay again she got annoyed at me. I had decided to stay out last night and she had had him stay again.
How do i approach my dad about this and get my friend to stop having her boyfriend around. | My friends boyfriend stays over and disrespects the house and my sister how do i speak to my dad to get her to stop bringing him. |
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