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t3_4csohu | relationships | I [25F] met a man [34M] through a mutual friend... can I ask our friend for his number? | I recently went to a party thrown by a friend who was visiting from out of state, where I met this man. We did some light flirting, I thought he was cute, it was all peachy.
I saw him again a couple nights later, at a get-together at our friend's hotel. This time there was much heavier flirting - he was touching me, danced with me, even pulled me onto a bed at one point. Trust me, I was flirting back! We had a really nice conversation where I got to know him a little more, and by the end of the night I was head over heels.
When it came time to leave, I thought he would ask for my number, but another friend of his said they wanted to share a cab, and it ended up being a rushed goodbye, everyone trying to hail a taxi. I hugged him goodbye and then jumped in a cab.
Now I can't stop thinking about him, so here's my question: Would it be weird for me to ask our mutual friend for his number? Does the fact that he didn't ask for mine himself mean he definitely isn't into it? Will I come off as clingy or stalkerish? I really want something to happen, but I also know I might see this guy again and don't want to blow it. There's also an age difference, which makes me apprehensive. So I leave it to you all! | I thought this guy and I hit it off, but he didn't ask for my number. Can I get his through our mutual friend, or is that weird? |
t3_3x97jy | relationships | I [33 M] keep having the same patterns repeat with relationships [28 F] and friendships. What does it say about me? | After my most recent breakup with a friend [28 F] who became more than a friend, I realized that many of my closest bonds (best friends and relationships) have played out in the same way:
1) Other person comes on strong; wants to hang out, invites me to things, calls or texts a lot, etc.
2) I like it but am slow to warm up and reciprocate
3) We eventually feel close and want the same things; are on the same page. Feels close as family
4) I become more open, more giving
5) They start seeming distant; maybe also making structural changes in their life
6) I worry, want to talk about. They don't
7) I try to come on strong like they used to, hoping to keep close
8) The lack of reciprocation is heartbreaking
9) I try to deescalate my own interest to match theirs, so they're more comfortable
10) We never get back on the same page or regain closeness
I want to break the cycle, but maybe it's just the way things go for everyone? People just change. I'd really like to not keep losing my closest bonds to this pattern... either by not entering into it, learning how to better manage the middle of it, or knowing how to rebuild after it. | My closest bonds in life have all come on strong and then pulled away. Is there something I'm doing wrong, or is that just how relationships go sometimes? |
t3_3vadjh | relationships | Me [19/M] with my friend [19/F] of a couple years, consistently afraid to "make a move" | So I've known my friend Lucy for nearly 1.5 semesters. In high school I wasn't popular, never had a girlfriend, and my parents had a really weird relationship. (They were hardly ever in the house at the same time with my dad being away during the week and my mom on the weekends, and when they were they didn't do anything together. separate bedrroms and absolutely no sort of affectionate contact.)
Anyways, like everyone had told me, girls started noticing me in college. I had always been athletic but I guess I just grew into myself, and working manual labor over the summer definitely built up some of my confidence.
My problem is, I get myself into situations where a I'm pretty sure a girl a like is interested in me, but I end up doing absolutely nothing.
For instance, with me and Lucy. We always spend a lot of time together, and we go to parties and raves together. She's pretty touchy, and it seems like she always has a hand on my body. we've also had some small pecks on the lips and I guess snuggled in bed. But here's the kicker: One day we decided to watch a movie that I had really liked in high school. We smoked with a couple people in her room first, but they all left. We lay down in her bed to watch the movie and about halfway through, we split a piece of gum. At this point I knew I should do something, but I ended up just lying there and watching the movie until the end. We laid there for like 30 minutes after too, and I could tell she was waiting on me to do something, but I just didn't.
I feel like this happens to me a bit too much for me to enjoy. I mean my dad even told me that one of the problems I might be having with girls is that I'm too passive, but I just don't know when or how to do what without being incredibly awkward. | So I am pretty uncomfortable & inactive around girls, even when I have multiple signs telling me not to be. How can I be more upfront? |
t3_25eecd | askwomenadvice | [23M] Past relationships with her friends affect potential future one? | Basically I was in a year-long relationship til about two months ago. Reason for breakup was that she thought I liked her housemate/friend and I eventually I admitted it (no cheating or anything). I loved my girlfriend and feelings for the housemate were nothing in comparison but I guess it was pretty untenable by that point.
Anyway, I hadn't seen either of since then until I was at their house last week. I was very drunk (to try and cope with seeing my ex again - usually I have to just have no contact to get over stuff), and ended up going home with someone who works with the housemate (first one night stand ever, I am not that kind of guy).
Feel like an idiot for doing that because I can't stop thinking about the housemate now, and I guess I've ruined any possible future chance with her? | Like a girl but have been in a relationship with her housemate/friend and recently slept with her workmate : / I've ruined any future chance right? |
t3_4isp21 | relationships | I am so confused, I [15M] asked my sister [17F] if I could dater her friend [17F] and she said I could. The next day she tells her friend to stay away from me | Date not dater, sorry I am mobile. completely my bad I should have double checked
So myself and my sister friend hit it off really well. I liked her because I thought she was funny and hot. She and my sister are entering their senior year at high school soon. She and I actually went down to the mall and I bought us burger king.
Last night I asked my sister if I could date her friend. She said "whatever do what you want" typical response I get from her.
Today at school Jayde (girl I want to date) comes up to me. She told me " It's best if we don't date, your sister told me to stay the hell away from you or else". So my sister fucked up a good thing after she said it was fine.
I was so thrilled she said it was fine and now all of a sudden its not. She is doing homework and told me to "go away pipsqueak". I am sitting in my room right now and I am so confused
I feel like I am missing the tree in the forest. why would she do this? | my sister told me it was fine if I dated her friend. The next day she told her friend to stay away from me or else |
t3_zkf9t | relationships | What to say to ex-gf who has rekindled interest in me | So, long story short, me (**Male**) and my **ex-gf** have been broken up for almost 2 years after a 6-month-long relationship due to me moving away, yet we have maintained a small amount of (friendly) contact. I am 19 and she is 18. Recently, I discover from her friends and blog that she may be interested in me again? I have moved back to my hometown to work and we live close to one another, so what should I say to her? I don't have her number anymore and want to know what kind of word formula to use on her so as to not fuck this up? Thanks | broke up with gf for two years due to school, moved back, she seems interested in me again. what to say to her to get back together? |
t3_2ozung | relationships | I [21F] will be in inpatient treatment for depression starting mid-January. How do I make the whole process easier for my SO[22M] of four months? | I have been suffering from depression on-and-off for quite a long time. It has been getting worse over the last few months, so I decided to go inpatient because that's the fastest way to get treatment for me right now.
My SO has been very understanding and supportive, but I worry that I am putting too much stress on him and our relationship so early on both with my mental issues and my upcoming trip to the house of crazies.
I'm going to do my best in therapy and maybe make some cute crafts for him in art therapy, but I'm wondering if I can do anything before or during my stay to help him deal with everything and not worry so much...? | BF stuck his dick in crazy, crazy wants to get un-crazied, how to help BF through this? |
t3_33qj8o | relationships | [23 F] Concerned about my possible infatuation with a [16 F]. NOT PURSUING, but I feel disgusting. | So like the title says, I'm in my 20s and I'm friendly with a teenage girl I knew from my last job. I'm in a relationship with a girl my age, and I have no desire to cheat on her or break up. I just feel like a gross person because this has never happened before and it's distressing.
Regardless of any feelings I may have, I could not see myself doing anything inappropriate. I had a friend who, when we were 16, entered into a relationship with a 22 year and I recognized it as being inappropriate because of the age difference, emotional abuse, and power dynamic (they met at a summer job where the 22 year old was my friend's superior). It fucked with my friend and I won't do that to anyone.
I have not discussed this with anyone for fear of being labeled a pervert or something.
The constant guilt is taking a toll on me--I'm having nightmares and anxiety. | Apparent crush on a 16 year old girl. Not looking to pursue her. Am I a horrible person and what can I do about this situation? |
t3_40v0he | relationships | What is the biggest obstacle I [23F] will face while dating him [31M]? | Just before Thanksgiving I hooked up with my friend in my church group, who is 8 1/2 years older than me. No one knows except for a handful of trusted friends who do not attend our church, and since then we have gone on two dates and hooked up once more.
I really like this guy and would potentially like to be in a serious relationship with him, but I'm worried about letting him know this since I have no idea how he feels about me. We don't generally text much unless I text him first (but he always responds promptly when I do,) and we have never talked about what we are or where this is going.
Granted, this has only been happening for about two months, but I'm starting to arrive at the point where I would like to clarify where this is going before I get in too deep and thus may be disappointed/hurt if it doesn't work out. I want to talk about this without scaring him off/appearing clingy. | How do I get a guy I am extremely interested in, who is considerably older than me, to view me as girlfriend-material? |
t3_1lzgyb | relationships | Me[18] with my boyfriend [18M]5 months, just got into a fight about my health | I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost five months and we've been best friends for four years now. We have small agruments but they're normal. Mostly about hurting each others feelings. (We both have sharp tongues and don't watch what we say.)
The issue right now we are having is more intense and I no longer know how to deal with it. I recently found lumps in my breast and now have to get screened for cancer. I've had cancer screenings for other things but this time it scares me. Breat cancer runs rampant in my family for both females and males.
He's scared for me and when that happens he gets extremely protective. I've lived basically by myself for the last year and I'm use to doing my own thing. He keeps yelling at me for not resting and giving myself breaks. (I'm a senior and I work for a magazine)
I've been in shitty moods lately and have been snapping at him for just about everything. I really don't know what to do to make him understand that I really just want his support, not him parenting me. | I have cancer screenings come up soon and my boyfriend and I are stressed and fighting over things that we have never fought over. |
t3_1ics80 | relationships | I'm[F/23] am in love with my two friends A[M/21] B[M/26] | I'm with friends with both men, B and I we're dating once and he left me, saying we could never work because of his parents, but recently he's been telling me he is falling for me again, because of all the help I've been giving him. He has a troubled life and I want him to be happy. I went though so many emotions when he said he just wanted to be friends and tried to kill my feelings towards him, but when he told me that I fell back in love. I'm shy around him and sometimes it's hard to talk to him but I love that hes giving me attention again. I try to support him anyway I can.
We said we would stay friends for now, because I'm worried about him hurting me again.
A has been a friend of mine, and he noticed I wasn't feeling well he started to hang out with me more, he is a very kind person. He's the person I go to when I need someone to talk to and hes always there even if I call him in the middle of the night. He does little things for me all the time and I can laugh and talk with him freely. Even when we fight and I ignore him, he talks so sweetly to me because he knows I like it. He knows so much about me.
He wants to be in a relationship now, but I still love B...
lately I've been ignoring A and giving more attention to B, and A knows it. He's hurt but told me he wouldn't be mad, but instead he would be happy if I went with B instead of him.
I'm so confused and I want to be with them both, but it's wrong of me. I feel horrible that I love them both, and I know if I keep this up one of them is going to leave me and it might be the wrong one. | I'm in love with both my friends, it's wrong but I want to be with them both. Something is wrong with me. |
t3_22dpf2 | relationships | Confused and seeking advice for new 2 months relationship, me (25f) with (27m) | I have recently reconnected with an old friend from high school. He is married to one of my acquaintances, but is going through divorce which he says will be final in a few months. I am confused because I'm not sure exactly what we are doing. We go out together, have been on about eight dates, have been intimate, but he will not call me and sometimes takes longer to text back.
We have both agreed to be exclusive, but I'm not sure if I'm wasting my time with him. On our last date he gave me a hug...and won't flirt with me like usual. Should I run away from this? Any advice is appreciated. | I am seeing a married, but to-be -divorced man, who I really like, but I'm confused about everything. |
t3_2fzi0n | pettyrevenge | Rude customers forgot keys, I watched the struggle. | I'm a waitress and the majority of my customers are fantastic, happy, friendly people; however, there is are always a few exceptions.
Two middle aged ladies came in and im not going to get heavy into details but basically they were extremely rude to me. I brushed it off and continued serving them while acting as pleasant as I could but they continued to treat me with complete disrespect. I noticed that when they left (did not tip by the way), they had left their car keys. At this point I was about to start my break.
Just to paint a picture here; the front of the restaurant is all windows facing the street and we take our breaks at the bar stools by the window.
Anyway, noticed they had parked across the road and I suppose they did not lock their car. So with keys in hand, I sat at the bar and watched these two ladies struggle in their car looking for the keys while I ate a burger for about 10 minutes.
Then I went outside and brought the keys to them and they thanked me. Cant say I didn't feel a little better for the rest of the shift. | Ladies I served were rude, left their car keys. I watched them search their car for 10 minutes while holding the keys the returned them. |
t3_42nuy1 | relationships | Me [30F] with my BF [32M] 2years, sometimes i hate him for emotional affair | So throwaway because people i know reddit...
To keep it short together as per the title. About 3 months ago i went to use my laptop and his FB was logged in with an active chat with his ex. I looked and true as the adage if you look youll see something you dont like. Their messages were pretty flirty, never went as far as arranging to meet. I read back. They had been chatting for a long time. Started as innocent chit chat but had recently developed to flirtatious.
I went off and he went and stayed at his moms for a weekend. He came back to talk to me was very sorry and we talked about it he was genuinely remorseful and has not spoken to her since.
I have no problems with the choice i made (whether ill live to regret that idk but anyways...) and i do not believe he has done it since.
They never saw each other or did anything physically - since he was never out or working late or had unnacountable time etc. But the messages did remenisce about stuff in their relationship that was prior to our being together.
Now i cant get it out of my head. I feel like even though it was before us its like he was unfaithful. Sometimes i am fine and other times i cant bear him near me. It happened just after this all blew up and then again this weekend. Everything has been perfect so far. He has been sweet and kind and we have got on fine. But then he was still like that when he was carrying on all that crap.
I had insecurity issues before and saw someone for it. I just wonder if love is enough to re build trust after this. Whether feeling like this is normal or if its juat a sign im flogging a dead horse :( | bf betrayed my trust now im struggling to get back to where we were before. Worried it'll never get better |
t3_112ilc | relationships | Close friend gossipped, hurting, how do I deal? | I (20) have known a guy for many years, call him X. Over time I have relied on X (19) a lot. X was the first person I wanted to talk to about anything, we agreed on many things, generally good friends. I came out gay to X a year before anyone else. I share with X a lot.
Today, I shared with X a story about my reaction to what a common friend of ours, R (20?), said. I'm bipolar, and have a few issues with anxiety and paranoia sometimes, so the story was about how I did something rashly. A few hours later, yet another friend of mine Z (19) tells me he's gotten a forwarded text message from R talking about the story I shared. So X told R about my story about R, and R told at least one unrelated person (Z). The story isn't super embarassing, but it was a bit.
I am angry at X, and told him so, though he hasn't written back yet. I struggled a lot with trust issues before this, so this is yet another cut. I am going to distance myself from X for a while. We had some loose plans to hang that I'm just going to drop.
If he is remorseful, what's the compromise between giving forgiveness and being a doormat? How long do I let this hang over his head? He has never really shared much with me, and I've often felt that this friendship was a little one-sided. Does this just confirm my suspicions? I don't want to use this as a tool to make him feel guilty, but he needs to know that he hurt me. | Closest friend gossiped, sliding back into depression, want to work past it but how long am I justified in holding this against him? |
t3_w6kgn | AskReddit | My car is in the body shop and, for the second time, I'm having issues. Are there any redditors that work in body shops that can shed any light on why they seem to be an inherently disorganized business? What are things we should look out for when selecting a body shop? | Just some background..
The first time I put my car in the shop, it was in Tampa, FL. To make a very long story short (I can elaborate if necessary), they backed my car into a fence and destroyed the rear end. Afterwards, it took them over 3 weeks to fix the damage that they caused when they told me it would only take 1. Not only did it take a lot longer than planned but the work was also really shoddy.
The second time, I decided to get a paint job on the entire car (along with some other modifications, i.e. Clear Bra, PDR, and regular dent repair, etc). I was leaving town for a month so I decided to put the car in the shop when I left. The body shop owner reassured me that the car would be ready when I returned. It has now almost been a week after I was supposed to pick my car up (almost 5 weeks total) and it still isn't ready. The reasoning is that they ordered some parts from the dealership 2 weeks prior and they still haven't arrived. The clear coat and final polish isn't done and the Clear Bra hasn't been installed yet. I'm paying for a rental and quickly getting frustrated.
I did plenty of research before selecting both body shops. What should we look for when searching for body shops? Are there tricks that body shops usually employ that we should look out for? | I've been screwed by a couple of body shops and I would like to know what to look out for to keep it from happening again. |
t3_1ocrkn | relationships | Me [17M] with my girlfriend [18F] of 10 months have been drifting apart, but I still very much want her | As of a few weeks ago, which would be her 2nd or 3rd month in college, my girlfriend has been spending a lot of time with her new friends from college and very little time with me. I don't really have a way to get to know her friends, especially since they are all affiliated with drugs and alcohol, something I am very against. She always seems to have a reason not to talk or spend time with me nowadays.
__
We have essentially been sitting on the fence of a break up for the past 2 weeks. Every time we try to talk it explodes, a lot of the time with her asking for us to just be friends. I barely have any other friends, and are therefore almost always available for her to talk to, but she has very little free time and spends that free time elsewhere. I recently suggested we try to simulate a long-distance relationship, but that's really only for her benefit because I feel so alone without her.
__
I don't really know how to explain it, but it feels like she doesn't want my company, even though every time I ask her about it she says she still cares about me. Our first Halloween together is coming up, and she is most likely going to a college party instead of spending it with me. I can't tell if I'm smothering her or if she really is trying to push me away. Any advice is appreciated.
__ | Girlfriend talks to me less, spends very little time with me, seems happy with friends, frustrated with me, and seems to want to step down to friends. Am I smothering or is she drifting away? |
t3_1i2rnk | AskReddit | How do you learn love yourself. | I am successful, and my life when looked at objectively looks great, but I am still unhappy. I have a 3.6 in a hard major at a top university. I have a great internship where I make more money than most people make half way through a career. I have lots of great friends, and a beautiful girlfriend. My most perceived flaw to myself is that I am overweight, and am very self-conscious about it.
I look at my life and I should be happy, but I'm not. In all my relationships I have always been afraid that they will see me like I see me. I never really value myself at all, and am usually constantly worried about other's happiness, when they are not as concerned about mine.
In essence, I do not value myself at all. I cannot be happy in my relationships or life when I don't like myself first. | I don't love myself, and I don't think I can be happy until I do. How does one learn to love themselves. |
t3_u8cz8 | relationships | A FWB situation that seems more like we're dating. He won't commit and I'm trying to decide if I should get out of this before my feelings get hurt. | I'm 22f and he's 24m. It started as FWB a little over three months ago, and about two months ago we had a discussion deciding that we shouldn't be boyfriend and girlfriend. However, as time has gone by he's met some of my family more than once and I'm slowly but surely integrating into his group of friends that I've met solely through him. I stay the night at his house roughly 3-5 times per week and we will generally hang out until 2-4pm the next day assuming we both have it off work/school.
I really want a label on the relationship but he won't commit. I know he's not seeing other people because we've talked about our exclusivity and decided together that before one of us hooks up with another person we absolutely have to tell the other person first in addition to the fact that when we don't stay together we generally talk/text the majority of the night.
He says he doesn't want a label because he doesn't want things to change between us and because he sees his younger brother becoming more and more committed to his girlfriend and doesn't want to be like that. He also is going through a rough patch in his life and doesn't want to burden me, but I don't mind a little crazy here and there in my life and I've told him that.
I don't want to put an ultimatum on our relationship and we already are basically dating. I'm pretty sure we both have an emotional thing in our situation but I feel like I want the relationship more than he does. I don't know if that's the case however, since the last few times I've stayed over we didn't even have sex but still swapped a quick kiss goodbye.
So, I guess what I want advice on is whether or not to stay in this situation and I'm also wondering what people make of the whole dating-but-not-dating thing, because I have no idea what to make of it. | FWB is more like my boyfriend but won't let me call him my boyfriend. I don't know what to make of it. |
t3_40uxq3 | askwomenadvice | Does she like me? Because I want to ask her out :O | Hi r/askwomenadvice
I need your help! I can't really tell if this girl likes me?
So there is a girl, lets call her Susie.
Susie and I are coworkers, kinda. We are both Resident Assistants (RAs) - if that means anything. I talked with susie everyday last semester from school to personal life and such. We kinda flirted back and forth and she always laughs at my jokes no matter how bad or subtle they are. Over the break we have been snapchatting everyday over break.
She sent me a message a few days ago saying that she's excited to be single this semester after waiting for a guy to want to be with her all last semester. Her last boyfriend was over a year ago and hasn't been with anyone since.
Lately, I've been trying to move from snapchat to texting and she hasn't been replying as much unless its involving work really. Over snapchat she'll talk to me all day… its weird. Right?
In the beginning of the year, she said that she wouldn't want to date a coworker again but, overtime we talk she describes the guy that she likes exactly like me. Every time without fail .
Is she trying to send signals?
If it helps… I do want to ask her out when she gets back before the semester beings. I know this isn't r/Dating_Advice or r/Relationships - so I wont ask about asking her out. But I do know you can help me decipher if she likes me!
How could I ask her out, should I just go for it?
Thanks! | Girl I like laughs at my jokes and we talk for at least an hour every day. She says she's excited to be single. I want to ask her out. Do you think she might be interested? |
t3_s07ju | AskReddit | Cops just told my brother he's going to be tried as an adult in a felony case. How fishy is this? | I won't go into full details because I don't want to screw the "case" over, but the short version is that my brother did some very, very minor property damage to a yard of an ex-friend (stupid, he admitted). Somehow the ex-friend's dad knew it was my brother and call the cops. Cops go to house, parents text brother, brother turns himself in. At the station my brother was charged with a third degree (class B) criminal mischief charge. Here's where it gets interesting.
He's been told *by the cops* that he is getting tried as an *adult* for a FELONY. My brother is *not* 18. He will not be for two more months and his court date is before his birthday. Plus, my brother tells me that the police report was exaggerated, not extremely but enough, in order to push the damages past the $250 dollar range needed to charge. And google tells me this should be a misdemeanor, not a full-blown felony.
My brother has had one previous run-in with the law when he sold something of his to someone in town and the check bounced, causing police to get involved. However, my brother was never actually in trouble and didn't even press charges.
My parents have already lawyered up and are going to fight the charges. My brother is more than willing to pay to fix it and/or to fix it himself. All are slightly confused as to why the cops were called in the first place, but the ex-friend's parents have been known for being a little... uptight.
So, I pose my question to any with knowledge of the mess that is our American justice system: just how fishy is this? I'm not actually living with my family at the moment, but something just seems *off* to me. | Non-adult brother being tried as an adult in a felony case instead of a misdemeanor. Legal, y/n? |
t3_1fhofr | relationship_advice | I (23/F) have a great bf (24/m) and friends, but none of them like to party like I do. How do I find people to go out with?? | I love my friends and boyfriend because they're interesting, intelligent people who share important values with me (sense of purpose, the outdoors, etc.). The one significant downside is that I like to stay out till 3am or later dancing and mingling with crowds that none of my friends really like (ravers, burners, or just awkward hippies to them). Before I moved here 2 years ago, I had a great group of close friends who were great to hang out with during the day and also loved going out till the wee hours of the morning. After the move, I've had a hard time making lasting friends at parties because I'm usually taking care of my tired friends, and eventually I stopped going out at all because nobody wanted to accompany me after a while. I don't do any drugs or drink heavily, but still I party too hardy for my friends. If I'm able to persuade someone, it's usually a begrudging and tired boyfriend or roommate that just wants to make sure I'm safe, but that's no fun at all. I'd like to one day feel comfortable going to events by myself, but for now I feel rather shy and unsafe. While this isn't the worst problem, it really sucks when I'm gettin my groove on and my boyfriend left to go sleep in the car at midnight and my roommate wants to leave shortly after, and it feels even worse to feel like nobody I know wants to go out with me. Has anyone else dealt with this and how did you overcome it? Or better yet, any tips on befriending party buddies? | None of my current friends like to party with me, and I want to make new friends to party with or learn to feel comfortable going to parties alone. Advice please! |
t3_152no8 | AskReddit | I'm having issues with Comcast. Shocking, I know. Can anyone offer any advice? | Hello r/askreddit. I've officially joined the ranks of frustrated Comcast customers today, and I'm looking for a little advice.
It all started last Friday, when a Comcast representative called me and told me that, for only $4 extra a month, I could get cable. Naturally, I was pretty excited because I live by myself and haven't been able to afford cable for a few years now. I agreed to the deal, and asked them to ship the cable box to my work address, since I live in an apartment building. Also, I'll be out of town all next week and my work could hold it until I got back.
Today I got the confirmation with the tracking number, and saw that they had ignored my request and shipped it to my home address. Also, my UPS tracking number isn't working, so I can't even pay to have it re-directed.
Has anyone else been in this situation? If so, what did you do? I'm pretty frustrated and don't want to get charged if the box can't be delivered. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. | Comcast messed up my shipment and my tracking number doesn't work so I can't go in and fix it through UPS. Need help. |
t3_2i0tzg | relationships | Me [30 M] with my GF [31F] 4 years together. She checked my phone for something, not the first time | My and my SO have been together for over 4 years now, we get along, and I love her. I've told her that I wanna spent the rest of my life with her. But she has some serious trust issues, and we've gotten into fights because I still talked to some of my ex-s.
I gradually stopped talking to any of my ex, some of them were nut jobs which I didn't care anyway, some others were good friends that I simply ignored in order to make things easier in my relationship. I even closed my FB account (i can't say I miss it but still)
3 days ago my latest SO (we never actually dated, we just went out and fooled around for a month) got in contact with me again via messages. I know my gf hates her so i tried to be careful so my gf wouldn't know who I was talking to. Yesterday I forgot to delete the messages on my cellphone and I got very protective with my phone, which I never do. My GF noticed it and today while I was busy getting ready for work I saw my GF browsing and checking my phone supposedly looking for a song or an app, then I took it from her and she got really serious and gave me the cold shoulder the rest of the morning.
I'm 90% sure she saw the messages with my ex which were absolutely SFW and friendly. And, to make things worse, we've talked about this before, and she did something like this when we started dating, with the same girl (one of the reasons I stopped talking to my ex in the first place). Also, when she sees me messaging she asks me on a naive tone whom am I talking to. I don't like to make her feel bad or give her reasons to suspect anything but I don't like to be told who I can or can't be friends with.
I totally get her point, and I can relate. But for her, there is no compromise. And I'm tired of the same discussions and right know I am on an emotional swing from worried about our relationship to really mad at her for spying on me.
Has someone being on the same spot? and how did it turned out? | Ex got in contact with me after a few years, current gf checked my phone (which may have done before) and got passively aggressive with me. How have you dealt, or would deal with it? |
t3_49q2nu | relationships | I [20/F] am in a relationship with a guy [28/M] (for a month or so), but he still talks to his ex girlfriend | So I met this guy more or less a month ago and so far it's going well, we both really like each other. You know, the usual. But he recently told me his "ex" girlfriend moved back to California at the end of December. I thought, okay, well no problem.
The thing is, which is why I put "ex" in quotes, he still has pictures of him and her on facebook together and he still talks to her on facebook and Whatsapp. I don't have a problem with them being 'friends' but I think they're still maintaining something, and he hasn't told her he's moved on.
I want to ask him to delete those photos of him and her and tell her it's finished, but I have a feeling he will refuse. I don't want to seem like a bitch or be nasty either, though I think some girls would tell him to delete her completely and cut all contact. I'm not advocating that, I know he's probably very fond of her, but I'm not sure what to do. I have a feeling he will try and maintain something behind my back if they stay friends on social media. But actually I haven't even asked him yet, so I don't know the outcome. | My bf's "ex" gf moved back to California because her visa had expired, he hasn't told her it's finished and still has pictures of her, not sure what to do regarding him speaking to her still. |
t3_27ukum | relationships | I [20M] met a girl [19F] on Tinder almost a month ago and still haven't met in person? | When I first messaged her, I kept converation pretty light and we both realized we are from the same place back home and live about 15 minutes away from each other and also attend the same college. We hit it off pretty good and I got her number.
We have been texting almost everyday (but not overdoing it) for almost a complete month now. After a about a week, I told her I would have liked to meet up but couldn't because I was going to be out of town for a week. She agreed that would have been great. Fast foreward to the weekend in which I was going to be back and asked again, but she had plans with her family but "left the door open" for another time. I tried the next weekend or maybe it was the one after? if she wanted to do dinner. She said "yeah, absolutly but it depends". I asked how and she said she might be headed back home for the weekend. She did go back and couple of days later she told me she has been really homesick.
My question is do people really wait this long to meet in person? I feel like we might be a let down when we eventually do...
Thoughts?? | I met a girl off Tinder a month ago and still haven't met in person after a couple of attempts but we keep in contact. |
t3_1lmf8y | relationships | Is someone (Me, 24F) in a new relationship required to forget all past relationships ever happened? | * I am not sure I would describe it as jealousy, but my boyfriend gets uncomfortable if I mention, "Oh, an ex and I have been there" or "I know that song because of an ex". I don't even mention names, just "an ex" to keep it generic.
* I just moved and am keeping a few boxes at his place. I have things from exs that I kept because they were good memories. Ex: An Olde Time photo (where I look super hot I might add), a picture at the Empire State Building on St. Paddys, dog tag (only because I forgot to send them back), and a teddy bear I didn't have the heart to throw out. My SO found this box and got upset. He didn't directly tell me to, but it essentially was "I'm not going to tell you what to do, but I would feel more comfortable if these things didn't exist." We compromised and most of it is thrown out now. I care more about my new relationship than the stuff.
* Now, I've kept notes passed to boyfriends since middle school (still have those somewhere), I just keep things from "old friends". I view these as good memories with good friends. Even if we are not on good terms anymore.
* I don't get it. I broke up with all of my exs, it's not like I want to get back with them. I would not care if he went into a long winded story about his ex, or still had a Tshirt from one that he still wore. Am I alone in this?
* I feel like it's unfair that I have to "hide" (Read: never mention) parts of my past because they were tied with another person. | Should I never mention things having to do with an ex to my SO? Or is it unfair if him to guilt me for it? |
t3_10vgx6 | relationship_advice | I [21m] had a friend come onto me last night. Tell my girlfriend [19f]? | I recently moved to a new town where I don't know anybody. My girlfriend lives in my hometown which is about an hour and a half's drive away.
Last night I was hanging out with one of my new friends (a female) and at about 2 am I decided I should probably get back to my apartment. When I brought this up, my new friend started getting really flirty and asking me to stay the night and said I could sleep in her bed and all that jazz. I hadn't told her I had a girlfriend at this point. It just hadn't come up yet. So I declined and went home and texted my friend that I was sorry but I had a girlfriend. She understood and everything should be fine now.
Should I tell my girlfriend about the whole thing quite yet? She knows I'm making some friends who are girls, but I don't think she could have seen this coming. It's mostly my fault because I didn't tell my friend about my girlfriend sooner, but I still don't know what to do. | I hadn't told my new female friend about my girlfriend and she asked me to stay the night with her in her bed. Tell my girlfriend now or after I get more settled into a new town? |
t3_z24cv | AskReddit | What's the best way to handle a neighbor suited for a straightjacket who is threatening to call the cops on me for something SHE blatantly did? | So about 20 minutes ago, I'm laying on my couch in my condo just minding my own goddamn business and watching a little TV. My upstairs neighbor (who, when I moved in here about 2 and a half years ago, I was told used to get into screaming matches with the girl who lived in my condo at the time before I bought the place) proceeds to drop something somewhat heavy (maybe in the 10-15 lb range) on the floor above my living room. I actually was concerned (and note, I've never ever had a problem with this lady, just got a second hand account before of how crazy she supposedly was/is) and started to make my way out my door to go up and see if everything was OK. I take two steps and hear what sounded like someone wearing cinderblocks as shoes thundering down the stairs. She POUNDS on my door and starts screaming "What the hell are you dropping on your floor down there?!?" (mind you, I'M ON THE FIRST FLOOR, she on the second) I was complete taken aback by it and could barely mutter a reply other than "What? Are you insane?" and she says "If I hear one more sound, I'm calling the cops you asshole!" at which point I laughed a bit and closed the door.
That is an absolutely honest account of exactly how it happened. I'm still completely dumbfounded by it.
Any recommendations on how to handle a person like this or does anyone have any similar stories of a whacked out neighbor? I legitimately think she has some sort of mental issue and forgot to take her medication, there's really no other reason to act like that when SHE was the one who created the noise. | My nutty neighbor was dropping shit on the floor above my condo and blamed me, threatened to call the police if she heard anything else. |
t3_qxbdy | AskReddit | Hey Reddit, help me make my roommate feel better. He's depressed and i don't know what to do. | So last week my roommate was ranked #2 in the NATION (NCAA division 1) in his sport, but he he just found out yesterday that he has a stress fracture in his foot, so now he's walking around in a boot and crutches and he can't compete. With any luck he should heal within 2 weeks but he's gonna have to skip training and a couple meets, which could set him back a bit. Worst case scenario, he'll be out for the rest of the season and that would totally crush him because that's exactly what happened to him last season. He's been looking forward to this season for so long!
I asked him what i could do to make him feel better and he said he wanted to eat tons of fatty foods, I don't really wanna comply with that request because it's unhealthy and I'm sure he'll regret it later when he starts training again (i've done the binge-eating before, and it never feels good after).
He says all he wants to do is play Mass Effect and masturbate all day... I don't think I can help with that part, or rather, I don't *want to* help with that part.
He's usually really outgoing social guy, he kinda balances me out cuz i'm a socially awkward penguin, he's the yin to my yang, he's my best friend and I hate seeing him so depressed.
So whaddaya say, Reddit? will you help me out? what can I do to cheer him up? | My best friend is depressed because he was ranked in the top of the nation and now he can't compete. Help me cheer him up, please? |
t3_50gkef | relationships | I [25F] feel like moving in with my friend [28M] has made him really bored of me. I miss our friendship. | It sounds petty to complain about, but this guy was my best friend. We used to hang out all the time but now we so rarely do, because we live together and just talk to each other whenever about surface stuff. I really miss him. I brought it up recently and he was like 'yeah that's true' but that was the end of it. I've tried to reach out a bit more and organise to do stuff together but I feel like I get too nervous and the expectations for even a cup of coffee are too high...so I just jabber and am boring and no wonder we aren't friends anymore. I don't know what to do. I kind of want to move out. But it seems SO dramatic. | I feel like moving in with my best friend has ruined our friendship. He knows I miss him but doesn't see it as a problem. I don't know what to do now. |
t3_3vrba1 | relationships | I [31m] have a problem with my girlfriend's [31F] cat waking me up. | I stay over at my girlfriends room at her parents house once or twice a week. Her room is separate from the rest of the house. She has a big fat fluffy cat that lives in the room with her. The cat never leaves the room. When I stay the night in her room, the cat will jump onto my side of the bed repeatedly during the night, or jumps on the bedside table, or jumps onto random stuff in her room making tons of noise.
The cat wakes me up every single time he does this. It happens a minimum of three times during the night. The cat never seems to sleep, or I suspect perhaps since GF isn't there all day most of the time the cat sleeps most of the day. We've tried some pheromone spray and it doesn't help.
Is it too much to ask for the cat and his litter box to me moved into the main part of the house when I spend the night, so I can get some sleep? The cat does not bother the parents when he is in the main house. They put him in the bathroom and he is fine for the night.
This is becoming a big issue. She is guilt tripping me for the cat thing. I know if the roles were reversed I would find an alternative for my pet without hesitation. It bothers me that she is becoming unwilling to accommodate this request.
Any positive input would be appreciated. | Girlfriends cat wakes me up during the night, is it a big deal to ask to put the cat somewhere else when I sleep there? |
t3_333nqy | relationships | I [20F] have no self-esteem since my breakup | Hi guys, I was wondering if someone could help me with this?
My ex [25M] cheated on me for 1.5 out of 4 years of our relationship. He started cheating around the time I started gaining weight. Once I found out about the affair, he told me it was mostly because I was fat (fwiw I wasn't), boring, and he wasn't happy for most of it... which was weird because he came crawling back once I broke up with him? Anyway, he was the one person I had ever opened up to and shared all my hopes/dreams/whatever with... and it was clear that I was never good enough for him.
Now I can't shake the feeling that everything he said was true. I feel like I don't deserve to be in a happy relationship... no one should have to put up with my weird body and my redditing/netflixing on weekends. I always end up crying when I'm not around other people.
The worst part is that I know this is pretty irrational. I know my ex was just a super jerk and not everyone is like this, but I'm so scared of opening up to anyone because I'm terrified that they'll leave once they get to know me. Does anyone have any advice on dealing with this anxiety? How do I convince myself that *someone* **somewhere** will actually want me? | ex cheated and told me it was because I was boring, fat, etc. I'm starting to believe him and think I'm going to die alone. |
t3_4g1n5g | relationship_advice | Girl [17/f] and I [17/m] have been together for about a month, but she has a boyfriend | So about a month ago this girl and I kissed. Since then she and I have gotten very close very fast. About a week after that kiss we told each other that we loved each other, but the problem is she has a boyfriend [18/m]. I admit i knew about it going in, but i felt strongly about this girl and i couldnt and cant stop myself. Now a month later we are still together and have gotten really close. To the point where we talk about together for a long time. She still is with her boyfriend, but she is also with me. What do i do? Whenever i see them together or whenever someone says his name i get really quiet and i feel terrible. But i really love this girl and she says says that she loves me a lot too. But for whatever reason she is still with her boyfriend. I want to talk to her about this, but im also afraid of losing her. How do i approach this subject? What do i say? | Girl and i have told each other that we love each other, but she still has boyfriend after a month of us being together. What do i do? |
t3_4gos3l | relationship_advice | I'm (18/m) and experienced a relationship that started very well but died slowly. How can I avoid this? | Throughout most of my youth, I was very anti-social, rarely conversating with anyone of the opposite sex. In High school, I met a girl that I'll call M in class. Before I continue, let me just say that there was never anything going on that exceed the boundaries of friendship. The relation started slow but eventually we started to text/snapchat/talk every day. This went on all semester. We would even occasionally go out to play badminton. After first semester, things died out and we started talking less and less. At this point I don't even talk to her anymore unless its about something for class. I think its both our faults (I'm starting to find our conversations a little boring too). I don't know what went wrong and I've never had this experience before. Any thoughts as to what could have gone wrong? Any advice as to what I can do differently to keep a friendship going? Thanks for reading! | A friendship I had with someone of the opposite sex slowly died. Don't know what happened, but would like some advice/tips to not make the same mistakes in the future. |
t3_10xdje | AskReddit | Why isn't there a debate between the president and a candidate that lasts over a long period of time, where both sides have time to formulate a truthful, well thought-out response? | First, I would post this in r/politics but they don't allow text submissions. Anyways, I think this is a good idea.
It really doesn't make sense. The president and the candidates go around campaigning and talking about each other for months. However, when someone says something false in a speech at a campaign rally it may be used by the other side, but lots of times it's largely ignored. If someone says a wrong number in a heat of the moment debate the same thing often happens. Why isn't there a debate that lasts like a month. During this month there would be one statement a day from either the President or the candidate, and it would go back and forth every day. This would give both parties time to formulate an ACCURATE and very descriptive response. It would stop people from dodging questions and there would be no excuse to give false information. | A long lasting debate with one message getting sent a day by either the President or the candidate (so back and forth) would provide a much clearer and more transparent view of each parties policies for the public. |
t3_4tf2z7 | running | Hi /r/running - what do you make of Pokemon Go getting people into running? | I wanted to gauge everyone's thoughts on Pokemon Go, as I'm coming across some interesting opinions on the game and how it is promoting exercise. I wrote a blog yesterday on the benefits to the game and how the game could be an extrinsic factor in terms of motivation for exercise (I'm a player of the game) - and when looking at it in this way, I'm all for it.
A fellow blogger has also posted her view ([link here] not agreeing with the game and not calling it 'exercise'. I read through this, and my view on this is pretty simple:
"While Pokemon Go shouldn't be the sole motivational factor for someone to get outside and exercise, for some people starting out on their fitness journey, this may be the only way they feel confident doing so. Yes, people should be aware of their surroundings and Niantic Software clearly states this when opening the game. If this encourages more people to explore their surroundings and do so by foot or by bike, then great - the game could therefore be a gateway to many more people taking up an outdoor pursuit in future.
Additionally, the game does encourage real life, social interactions (i.e going around in groups to play the game) which can in turn benefit an individual psychologically, and also deter criminals from phone theft.
In such an age where many of us rarely can or want to get away from technology, I believe this type of augmented reality gaming could potentially improve the general public's wellbeing and health, and help those who have not considered an exercise routine to consider one. In my view, it's all about working with these new technologies to combat the obesity epidemic that we are currently seeing in many western countries." | I'm just really interested in hearing your views about Pokemon Go! Do you play? Do you know people who play/have taken up exercise in order to play the game? |
t3_3gwhhi | relationships | Me [22 F] & ex-boyfriend [23 M] dated 3 years, he dumped me and moved away. Now he's texting me again and I don't know how to handle it. | I'll make a long story sort of short: I dated a guy for 3 years, we lived together for 1. I loved him hard, and I would have done anything to be with him. We had small issues like any couple, but (at least it seemed to me) we really loved each other and enjoyed spending time together.
We were in the process of looking for new housing as our lease was up. However, he broke up with me over the phone while I was visiting my parents, and moved back home to another state the next week. I've been doing NC since then.
I never got an explanation why. I was heartbroken, but began taking steps to move on.
However, now after a month or so he's trying to text me again (nothing other than "hey, how are you, etc") & I haven't responded.
Of course I still love him and would take him back if he asked. However, I feel like he's just experiencing dumpers remorse.
Should I text him back and hope that he has changed his mind (as I still want to be with him) or do I continue to ignore him and try to move on? | Boyfriend of 3 years dumped me over the phone and moved away the next week, but now he's texting me again. To text back or not to text back? |
t3_40u15n | relationships | I [22 M] don't drink alcohol due to taking anxiety medication. Should I tell people [21-27 M/F]or keep making excuses? | I've been taking Sertraline for ten months and since then, I stopped drinking alcohol, because my doctor asked me not to drink excessively while on medication. Whenever someone asked me why I wouldn't drink (or just a beer and not more) I told people things like that it doesn't make me feel too well, or that I didn't feel like drinking.
I'm not good at lying and it feels awkward. However, if I told people why I'm taking medication, I could lie (antibiotics, whatever) again, but telling people that I have social anxiety or just that I take an SSRI seems like information overload and again, pretty weird.
The people I hang out with are in my age group (21-27) and I study medicine, so my colleagues will probably know what an SSRI does. Telling my close friends that I take antibiotics all the time would seem weird too.
^"Sorry, ^can't ^drink, ^my ^anxiety ^medication ^doesn't ^allow ^it" | I stopped drinking because I take medication and so far, I've made excuses about not drinking, should I just tell anyone asking, why I really don't drink? |
t3_4dzbpg | relationships | I'm [18M] and my friend [18F] well it's confusing. | Okay, so I know this girl from school, just over a year now and we became really close (We both agree a little to close) and I wanted something more. Now, I don't expect people to like me that way to be honest (Yay, self-confidence) and we ended up discussing if we should date.
And things started to seem positive, we were hanging out more, talking more and things were really good. She was becoming more open and positive as well. That was until last week.
We had a lovely conversation about how we're too close, how I only know the broken version of her and how much I've helped her begin to rebuild after her last ex. And that nothing is going to happen between us. She said that she tried to feel what I feel, but that she thinks she's incapable of it, with anyone. That's okay. It hurts, but it's her decision. I'm not sure what ended up causing all that.
Now I'm hoping we can stay friends, apparently we both want to, but all the conversations seem forced on both ends and we are talking alot less. I feel used. The rest of school will be fun this year. In the same class with roughly another nine people both of us don't talk to as a buffer against awkward. | So I want to know if anyone has had a friend that almost turned into something more but didn't and what ended up happening with friendship. In short: should I bother? |
t3_1xtgw8 | relationships | Is she [21 F] uninterested in me [18 M] or just shy? | I met this girl in college; shes a junior i'm a freshman and I can't tell if she's interested or not. We talk a little and we've walked and talked but i'm the one mostly leading the conversation. She doesn't ever seem to avoid walking with me after class or anything but I can't tell if she's not interested or just doesn't know what to say.
We talk a lot about her but she never asks questions about me. She doesn't just give short answers; she extends them but still, never asks me a reciprocal question. She's never had a boyfriend, not exactly a popular girl, and doesn't have "killer looks" (but for whatever reason, I thought she was super cute).
I asked her to be my lab partner and she agreed and we were talking fine during class but only about class stuff! I can't seem to get anywhere other than class topics right now. We'll also just laugh together about our awkward TA or just stupid things during lab. However, she seems way more comfortable with the other girl in our group (more eye contact, more laughs, etc.). Could be nervousness with me or annoyance with me, I can't tell. I'm typically the one to start conversations too. She's kind of an awkward girl: socially normal but not "socially experienced" so it's really hard to tell if she's not interested or just doesn't know what to say.
She sits next to me in small classroom but not big lecture hall (she sits by herself).
I don't want to creep her out if shes not interested... What should i do to try to find out more about how she feels? | Kind of an awkward girl, doesn't avoid me but doesn't stipulate conversation. Don't know if she's uninterested or just shy. What to do? |
t3_42b3yq | relationships | Me [18F] with my ex [18M] together for a few weeks, feeling torn about the necessary breakup | I got closer to a guy at my University around December and during winter break (Let's call him Peter). He's smart, funny, sweet, attractive, thoughtful, and chivalrous. I had sex with him, and we'd talk pretty much every day. I started to get attached to him, and realized that I had feelings for him close to Christmas. When I fall, I fall hard and fast. I realize that my emotions get too intense, and that I move too quickly in relationships now.
Peter took me on a date, and asked me out right after New Years. Of course I said yes.
Well, Peter had just broken up with his girlfriend of 3 years a few weeks beforehand. I knew he had a 3 year relationship, I didn't know that they had ended it so recently. Around the 2nd week of our relationship, I could tell that something was bothering him. He confessed to me that he might not be completely over his ex. That weekend was hell.
I gave Peter space. I gave him time to sort out his feelings. I learned that he realized that he was using me as a rebound, and was going to break up with me the next time he saw me. Instead of waiting for him to see me in person, I broke up with him over text out of immaturity.
We're still friends. We still see each other on campus every day.
He told me that he was going to take time to get over his ex. I believe him, but this morning I saw that they had re-added each other on Facebook. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to believe anymore.
I know now that my heart wants me to wait for him. I feel like he's worth it. He doesn't feel the same way. "It's not worth chasing me. I don't know how long it'll take for me to be ready. You'd be doing yourself a favor." I told him that I didn't agree with that. | I broke up with a guy I really like who was struggling with his feelings for his ex. I want to wait for him, but I'm so torn about it. Should I? |
t3_34av7y | relationships | Me [21 M] got diagnosed with bipolar and my best friend/ex-girlfriend [24 F] of a year decided that she loves me but not right now. | In December of last year I had a bipolar episode where I called my girlfriend on the phone and dumped her on Christmas when we weren't together. At that point she was hurt, but said that she was going to try to move past it so we did until we got back to school together. At that point she bailed and moved on to going on dates with other guys (which tore me apart, because I didn't know what happened with me).
Fastfoward a month later and I decide that I have to leave school (Junior in College) and move home to get help and she hated the idea but respected the decision. This was until I was actually 700 miles away. I kept trying to do everything to fix what had happened, because I knew it wasn't me. I flew out to visit, brought her out for spring break, everything she ever asked but "staying" where she was. I can't do that I have things I need to do to get healthy again.
I was quickly diagnosed with Biploar Disorder when I moved helm and have put everything into getting better for myself and for her. She had always told me she cared and supported and was there for anything but whenever someting bad happened she would push away. If I had a really bad day she would say it was hard and she couldn't handle the pain of being 700 miles apart, as if it hasn't been hard on me.
She has told me that she has an incredible amount of love for me that she has for nobody else, but hasn't had time to get over what happened in christmas and February with me leaving. With this, she will say all of these things, but then go out and make out and do whatever with other guys she meets those nights. I care about her as a person, but is it time for me to cut things off?
By the way, she got a job out here where I am living and will be moving out here in the next few months, making this decision so much harder. | Had the perfect relationship, had a bipolar episode before I was diagnosed, my best friend and now ex-girlfriend says she loves me but not right now. |
t3_4lvm7e | relationships | Me [28 F] with my boyfriend [30 M] 1 1/2 years, I fudged up the break up with a note - now I have to do it again. | I love this guy. I really do. Something just very off feeling to me about everything lately. Like I can't see him being the one in my future. He deserves someone wayyy better than me, someone who thinks of him as their true love and doesn't have doubts and reservations. Marriage to him/ kids (which is what I know he wants) sends me into panic mode, and I always just avoid thinking about the future like that.
I tearfully broke it off with him on Friday night and I did a bad thing the next day. He took his things with him that night and said he would leave my stuff on his porch, I could pick it up and leave his key the next day.
In the morning he sent me a text that said, "if you still want to be with me then don't come get your stuff." Well, I got my stuff, but left a rather long note detailing all of the feelings I should have told him a long time ago.
There was good, there was bad. There was honesty. I told him I loved him and he was the best I had ever been with. I should not have left that damn note. He called me and was crying and my heart was breaking and I agreed to take a week apart to think about everything.
Now I am realizing I am just going to have to do this again. He is sending me a lot of texts every day full of hope. Things like he loves me and all the fun stuff we are going to do after the week is up.
At first I thought the week thing was a good idea, like maybe some time apart would help clear my head and really help me decide if I was making the right or wrong decision. Now I realize that was a big mistake and I just want things to be over so I can cry and grieve.
He texted me a lot this morning (included with a pic of a show we love - new season just came out on netflix) - and I have not even texted back yet. I feel pretty broken and my heart hurts. I don't know what to do or say..... | I broke up with my great BF because of reasons, and now I am going to have to do it again because I caved and gave him hope. :( |
t3_2m6lvt | personalfinance | Is settling a minor auto incident with cash so bad? | Hi reddit, I need a little help. For a little background, I'm 19, still live with my parents. I work full time and go to school full time. This morning, I asked my mother to move her car so I could get out of the driveway. As I'm backing out, I notice my across-the-street neighbor's maid has once again parked her truck almost directly in front of my driveway. I mistakenly thought I had enough room and left a small dent in her truck. I run up to the house and have my neighbor translate. I suspect her maid may be undocumented, and as such does not have insurance. I also would rather not have my insurance go up again, so I offer to pay her cash if she wants the dent fixed. She said it was fine and not worry about it. So I go back in the house and tell my mother I offered cash to fix the dent, but she refused; my mother was clearly incensed. She said what I did was asinine and stupid, and said "You don't ever offer cash. You shouldn't have offered your hard-earned money to fix her dent." That's what got me - I put a dent in her truck, so shouldn't I offer to fix it? I'm pretty sure she has no insurance company for mine to communicate with, and I didn't want my insurance to go up again. I figured, win-win. My mother would not explain why this was wrong when I asked, so I'm wondering if you guys could explain to me why this wrong.
Sorry for the long post. | hit my neighbor's maid's truck while backing out my driveway; offered to settle with cash, but she said it was no big deal; mother got angry, said settling with cash is always stupid, wouldn't explain why |
t3_3ytc47 | tifu | TIFU by thinking ahead | This actually happened today (BONUS BUNDURRRUUUUU!!!)
Background: I just graduated college and got a job related to my major and this is my 2nd week on the job.
Approximately 3 hours ago my boss tells me to install CMAs (Cable Management Arms) on the backs of the servers that I think need them. I go in to the server room with box in hand beaming with electrical wonderfullness because I am being trusted with a solo task in the infamous server room. I notice a rack that could use some managing of its cables n' stuff. So I pull out the instructions (I have never installed a CMA before and before this morning didnt even know what it was) and I got to readin'. Turns out I was pretty good at installing the CMAs and it came very natural to me. Hey I'm pretty good at this IT stuff. I say to myself as I'm brimming with confidence. I take the cables and start running them through the CMA because they were all over the place and I thought "hey Im gonna put all these cable through this ONE CMA and my boss is gonna be SOO proud of me!!" As I am nearly completed with this one hour or so task, a Lead technician just walks in behind me, looks at my amazing cableness wrapping job and utters but one word. "No." I had been putting the WRONG CABLES in to the WRONG ARM that I so happily attached to the WRONG SERVER. My hopes. fleeted. My dreams. dead. The burial is scheduled for later this evening. | My boss gave a solo task of utmost importance in the server room my 2nd week of work fresh out of school, I put everything in the wrong place and looked like an idiot. |
t3_33dgpu | relationship_advice | I matched with my ex on tinder. What should I do? | So this morning I (22M) matched with my ex (20F) on tinder. It really had me rattled because I only liked her profile thinking that she would have not liked mine since she was the one to initiate the break up.
Once i liked her profile, i got that message screen saying how it is a match; my heart sank. I was hoping that i could try an keep moving on and bettering myself but then i get this little reminder. Was this a sign? Does she want me back? Should I send her a message? Just keep her as a match and keep moving forward? I don't know what to do and now I have all these thoughts swirling in my head.
Our breakup was a real surprise to me and not at all my choice. She was going through some things and we hit our first rough patch throughout our 3+ year relationship. I felt as though she was just tired of having a boyfriend and just quit on our relationship. As soon as we broke up, I started the no contact and have only seen her once in the last 3 months.
So now i am sitting on my deck with a cup of coffee wondering what i should do. I want to just move on but can't tell if this is a sign. Please give me some advice because i resented this woman for giving up on us and now this little situation has my mind racing. I know this girl and me are not good for each other but a small thought in my mind is telling me that it's meant to happen. | Matched with ex on tinder and now all these emotions are running through my mind as to what i should do moving forward. |
t3_smqiw | relationships | 2 year relationship but college is coming up. | we are both 18 and i am male. We have been dating for two years now and things have been pretty good for the most part. I feel like she really gets me and i am happy for the most part here but theres a problem now. We are both going off to college after summer and i have no idea what to do.
The problem is not that we are going to different colleges but its that she is going to be in canada and i am going to be in the U.S. This would mean only skyping for talking and some really long distance for 4 years. I am one of the guys who gets jealous easy and i feel that i would grow really uncomfortable.
Also the other thing is that she thinks we should stay together up until then and take a month long break so we can get settled and then see how it works. I know in my head that month is going to change things for me. I really dont know what to do i have been thinking about this non-stop for a month now. Please help.. | Girlfriend of 2 years is going to college in canada while im in U.S. Dont know what to do. She wants to stay together till we go off to college and take a break so we can get settled. |
t3_1t6ne0 | relationships | Me [m 23] was dumped by my girlfriend [f 19] of a year two weeks ago. Her behavior baffles me ever since. More inside. | I told this girl a stupid lie about the amount of women I had been with before her. That sent us into a spiral and she ended things. After we broke up she called saying how much she loves and missed me but went on to say that she feels like her life is falling apart with school and her family and that if we got back together it would just push us further away. She said that she wants to fix this when her own personal happiness falls into place and when she's ready, and now we barely talk. When we were together we talked at every single opportunity so this is a really terrible change. I've thought about what I did wrong and have told her so many times that I wouldn't make the same mistake and just did everything I could to plead with her about remember how good everything was. She said to stop actively trying to fix everything and just let things play out but I just can't trust that she will ever come back. I worry this is her keeping me there but at a distance so it's easier on her and this whole situation of not knowing how she feels or thinks is just driving me insane. I want to wait for her and I want her to be happy, but not knowing if the day will ever come kills me. We really loved each other and were very happy all things considered. Healthy sex life, I was her first. Lots of fun conversation and dates and talk of the future. I'm a wreck without this and I can't forgive myself for sitting and doing nothing and waiting. I feel like I have to actually make something happen but I just don't know what. Help me.... | girlfriend left. Says she wants to stay separated until she works her own life out. I feel like inaction will only widen the rift. Worried that the time to rekindle will never come. Feeling terrible. |
t3_12or2m | AskReddit | if a republican candidate was socially liberal, would you vote for them? | ok this might seem a little odd, but i seriously want to know. and before i begin i want to say that i am an indepednent, and honestly have absolutely no personal care or attachment to either party.
but anyway, all this bashing of Republicans on reddit (most deserved i will admit) and seemingly NO criticism of any democrats has got me a thinking. If there was a candidate (position irrelevant) that was fiscally conservative, but socially liberal, would you vote for them / at least consider them? basically, a person who believed in fiscal responsibility (lower taxes, budget balancing, cutting back SOME social programs / government divisions) but also believed in gay marriage, abortion, seperation of church and state and all that good jazz. basically, a republican who isnt a total backwards, racist, religious dumbass. i just want to get reddit's opinion on this, as it seems more and more people are becoming libertarian, and this candidate may well exist in the near future. | read it, but basically would you vote for a libertarian if he/she was on the republican ticket over what we see today as a "standard" republican |
t3_2qsoph | relationships | [18M] advice on a long distance | I'm at one of the confusing moments when of life.
I dated a girl for half of high school (had feelings for her since sophomore year). We decided to break up before college seeing as I was going away to school in Philadelphia and she was staying in Oregon.
While in Philadelphia my roommate tried to hook me up with his friend, we started to hook up one night at a party and I had to stop halfway through because I couldn't do it.
I'm back in Oregon for break and I've seen my ex twice, and I still have feelings for her. She's told me that she still has feelings as well, so it is a mutual thing.
I just don't know whether to get back with her or not, I'm afraid that the distance is going to hurt us both, and I don't know whether to tell her if I "hooked up" with someone else or not.
Please any advice would be appreciated, I'm so lost and hurting. | We dated for two years, broke up because of long distance, I fucked up, and the feelings are still there. |
t3_3v1pzn | relationships | Me [26 M] with my gf [23 F] for 18 months, question about future, specifically her family | My gf and I have been together for 18 months and things are going pretty well. There are two things I'm concerned about for the future though.
She is one of two children with a younger sister, about 10 years younger. This girl is severely developmentally disabled though, she will never be on her own. Her parents are older and have a history of health problems.
It had been mentioned multiple times that she would inherit care of her sister when her parents pass away. If I plan on staying with this girl, it means that I will likely inherit care of this girl.
Now I'm terrified of having a disabled child, and would likely advocate to terminate a pregnancy that showed severe genetic disability.
I don't want to take care of this kid. I know it sounds horrible, but I see what it does to my gfs parents and how stressed they are, I don't want to start my life and know that sooner or later we would never be able to travel by ourselves, or leave her under someone else's care.
I've asked my gf before and she says she wouldn't put her in care or anything, she would want to take care of her.
What do I do? Am I an asshole to break up with her about this? Do I try to convince her to place her sister in nursing care eventually? | my gf had a developmentally disabled sister we would eventually inherit if we got married, and I don't want that burden at all. |
t3_33aff2 | relationships | My [20 M] girlfriend [20 F] never shows physical affection, often shies away from kissing and it makes me feel undesired | We've been dating for about 3 months, neither of us being far too experienced with relationships (we both have had one relationship before ours). I think one of the main problems is that we are both very shy, but she has never initiated a kiss or sex with me. She hardly ever even touches me and it kind of makes me feel unwanted. I'm just not sure how to voice my concerns to her.
When I do kiss her, she sometimes kisses back for a while but then shies away as if she's not interested.
She has no problem letting me know how she feels about me over text, but when we're in person, everything just seems far too platonic. It makes me unsure of what she wants, so I end up doing nothing and it just seems like a huge barrier for us.
I told her I loved her for the first time a few weeks ago as I was leaving and wasn't met with the same words. She assured me over text that she was just surprised and couldn't get the words out, but that she felt the same. She still hasn't said it though.
IDK if I'm posting a proper question or even on the right sub, I just wanted to talk to some people about how I was feeling and try to figure out what I should say to her. Hope this is okay. | Girlfriend never initiates kissing/sex/any kind of physical affection, and often shies away when I do. It bothers me a bit and I'm just trying to figure out what I should say to her about it. |
t3_rsddv | AskReddit | Hey Reddit fitness freaks, my dad is super out of shape and is starting to get older, I don't want to lose him earlier than nature intends. What is a good way to help motivate him to start losing weight and being more active? | Hey guys & gals of the internet. My question is simple. I want to motivate my father somehow to take some initiative and lose some weight. We've always been a family that doesn't have weight in the forefront of their mind. What are some ways that I can help motivate him to stop eating so much and exercise?
I, not too long ago, hit the highest weight I've ever been in my life. It was a real shock factor to me and really made me bust my ass and start taking fitness a little more seriously. I've lost 20lbs and can already tell a big difference in my energy levels and general mood through the day. I really want to help my father realize how important being in good health really is.
He was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes maybe a year ago and that didn't do anything. I'm in the process of training for a marathon and ask him all the time if he wants to go running or something and he never commits. Whenever he is hungry he seems to help himself to HUGE snacks, and at dinner he gets seconds and thirds. Even when he's full, if there is food in front of him still, he'll slowly eat bites while everyone else finishes meals, even though he's not hungry.
Is there any way you've tried to make somebody realize how important health is and they listened? My dad is 54 and in BAD shape. I really don't want to lose him any earlier than I have to. Especially considering our relationship has never been better.
I've got my mom on board with the plan and she's started to cook a little healthier, but the problem is, he is still over eating and snacking too much for it to make any sort of a difference. He lives a super inactive lifestyle where he sits at a desk (most of the time) for work, then comes home and sits in his chair. | My father lives an extremely unhealthy lifestyle and I don't want him dying too soon on me. Any suggestions to motivate him? |
t3_pq1kg | AskReddit | Reddit, any advice you could give a young male who wants to start an acting career? (First Post) | Hello people of Reddit. This is my first post so don't burn me too bad please. I have decent grammar but I also dont have a ton of time to edit and proof read this, but I will try my best to accomodate.
I am a male (20 years old), 6 foot, blonde, with a charming smile. (not trying to toot my own horn but- hey- its what I got.) I'm from Alberta, Canada and I'm looking for some advice as to what is the most appropriate way to start this career of acting.
I was planning on going to Toronto Film School and was in contact with an admission advisor. But after reading up on TFS I was baffled to hear loads of negativity about it and I also don't have $15000-$20,000 to spend on tuition. I'm starting to think that I should just make the big move to LA and get myself an acting coach, manager, agent and go from there.
Now saying I'm going to this is a lot easier than actually doing it! This is where I need help Reddit! Should I get in contact with an agent in Canada? Or should I start looking for manager's, agents, etc that are based in LA? Does anyone know of anyone I can contact? Any advice about anything to do with starting an acting a career or even moving to LA would be greatly appreciated. I don't have headshots or any on screen experience. I just know I have plenty of talent, an unreal work ethic, and a strong movie sense.
I'm not doing this to get famous and eventually become a drug-addict. I'm in it for the passion, art, and creativity of film. It's all I know. I believe I have the will and talent to do this but I hate being naive about anything (especially about my career choice) so any tips, info, contacts would make me a very happy man. I'm on Reddit everyday and see fellow Redditors asking for advice and getting great responses. I thought maybe this could be my turn to get helped:). | Any advice you can give on moving to LA from Canada. Any advice on how to get a decent manager that isn't trying to scam me. Any tips that could help an aspiring, passionate actor get the ball rolling. |
t3_4m76gu | relationships | I [18M] screwed with a girl [17F], did not properly apologized. Should I do it now 3 months later? | A couple of months ago I was talking to a girl that I liked but she was into someone else. I did something stupid a couple of days after telling her that I will go no contact until I get over her and I asked about her friend. When we were talking we grew really close and we were really good friends, but after I asked about her friend she did not want to talk to me again. When I realised how stupid I was I apologized and I respected her decision of not talking. But it's been 3 months and I can't stop thinking about her and lately I was thinking about having a one last chat to properly apologize as the first time was more of a"I'm sorry" but did not really explained to her why I was such a d***. So I'm thinking about explaining to her now and telling her that I regret what I said and maybe try to rekindle our friendship. | I was talking to a girl, screwed up and dis not properly apologized. 3 months later it still bugs and I feel like properly doing it. |
t3_ru7li | relationships | Is boyfriend's friend a homewrecker? | My boyfriend (21) and I (19F) have been dating for 2 years and known each other for around 9 years. This is our first serious relationship. I was his first crush and he expressed interest in me years ago but I didn't agree to date him until I thought I was old enough.
He met a customer at work about two weeks ago and offered to help fix her car (he does this with many strangers who need help). They exchanged numbers and she began to text him and express interest. He is completely honest about her and has kept me updated with everything that happens between them. He friend zoned her, told her he was in a relationship and she said she understood and would respect our relationship.
However, she texts him about every other day asking him to come out to the bars with her and her friends. She says she is an outgoing girl and means no harm but I can't help but feel that it's an excuse for being flirty. She has told him he is handsome, likes him, is sorry they can't date and talks about looking forward to seeing him. In the past week, she has stopped by his work three times for help on her car.
He declines her invites to the bars but I told him he could go out as friends with her. I'm a little insecure because she is gorgeous but don't want to be controlling. Should I be worried? | New girl makes friends with my boyfriend. She is interested but knows he's dating me. Asks him to get drinks constantly, is this girl still after my boyfriend? |
t3_4d9nk7 | relationships | I [19M] was stupid about a girl [19/20F] last year and now I'm regretting it. | So I am currently a sophomore in college but the summer before my freshman year I was on the twittersphere following random people who I saw were going to my school. I saw one girl was going to a concert at my school that I was gonna go to and my friends made me DM her. Turns out she's really cool and somehow I get her number. The only thing is, I am like stupidly nervous when it comes to girls, so when school started I didn't text her or anything because I was nervous she'd think I was weird. I ended up going to the concert by myself which sucked. A semester goes by and I'm telling my roommate about the situation and he literally gets mad at me and calls me an idiot for not texting her. One thing I should point out is that this isn't one of those stories where I didn't catch obvious signs that she was interested in hanging out, I totally did but I was always able to talk myself out of it. Anyway, so my roommate makes me text her again and invite her over which she was totally cool with. She came over and hung out a few times, we never did anything and I was probably awkward the whole time. So fast forward to this year, I haven't texted or talked to her in a long ass time. The thing is, she still likes a lot of my stuff on Twitter, we are obviously in to all the same music and have the same sense of humor. She is so cool and I missed my chance because of my ridiculous anxiety around girls I don't know. Is there anything I can do? To either A) talk to her again or B) fix my anxiety? Because I have another story from this year that will make you tear your hair out even more and I'm sick of not being able to talk to girls. | I had a great opportunity to talk to a really cool girl and my nervousness around girls got in the way and now I'm wondering how to fix it. |
t3_4m4w5f | relationships | Me [19F] can't tell if [23M] actually likes me or just wants to use me. | basically we met on tinder. immediately asked for my number and we began texting. he started calling me 'babe' and 'love' pretty early on.
for first date he suggested he cook for me and i politely declined and suggested to go out somewhere instead. we went out and it was nice, he asked me to come over multiple times that week and i said no. finally went over one day and he was really nice. we talked and ended up making out.
i went over the next day to watch a movie and we actually did, except afterwards we ended up in his bed and when things were going a little too far, i told him i was a virgin and he says "that's interesting" and asked if there was a reason why. explained that i'm just waiting for the right guy.
anyways i ended up leaving right after and he didn't walk me outside, i had to walk pretty far to get to my car alone at night. i texted him the next morning and he was being weird. he texted me a day later and we discussed what happened and when i asked if we're good he said of course.
but now he's acting weird and sends one word texts. (i should mention he always double texts me and never leaves me without a response)
should i continue trying and seeing if he might want to actually hang out other places besides his house or let it go? i actually like him and want to date him. | When I told this guy I was a virgin, his texts started slowing down. When I asked if we were okay, he said yes. Should I keep trying? |
t3_2r3df4 | dating_advice | I (18m) think I fucked up the chance of my first kiss (16f) | Little bit of a story here:
On New Year's Eve I went to a party where most of the people from my neighbourhood usually go to. I went there with a friend (which has his group of friends that I barely know; so I was a little out of place), and I met there two other friends which I hadn't seen in a long time. We spent most of the night together but they were a couple so I was a little out of place there, too, until I met the boy's cousin and two of her friends.
I spent the rest of the night with these three girls, one of which was particularly attractive, and it looked like she was attracted by me, too. One of her friends told me that if I made out with her she wouldn't have any problem with it and probably wouldn't remember (she was a bit drunk). The problem is that if I'm not drunk I can't let myself go, I never kissed a girl before, I have this kind of moral pillar not to make out with a girl randomly without knowing her (this is probably why I never did).
So we started dancing etc. but never really got to it. I had to go home: we said bye to each other and I kissed her on the cheek, thanked her for the night and left.
Found her on Facebook and started to text her about the party and we agreed to get drunk together eventually. The problem is we don't have any friends in common and I don't have many friends to go out with at all (they all have their group of friends which I don't know), so last night was an exception and much much luck.
What do I do? Any advice? | Met a girl at New Year's Eve, started dancing and I didn't have the balls to kiss her: fucked up my chance of first kiss. |
t3_ue73e | relationship_advice | The girl I like is attracted to me but wants to stay single to "learn independence." What should I do? | I am a 21 year old guy, interested in a 19 year old girl who finally removed herself from a dysfunctional relationship of 4 years. She was so codependent in that relationship that she wants to stay single now to learn some independence. She's told me that she doesn't want to be in a relationship with ANYONE right now but she is attracted to me/ has strong feelings for me.
While She says that she wants to be single to learn independence, I'm afraid that she's just staying single to sleep around and have fun while I comfort her and make her feel good about what she's doing.
I'm done comforting her, it hurts too much to see her make stupid decisions but I want to see her get better. What should I do? | Girl I like is single but not looking for a relationship with ANYONE, she still likes me and doesn't want to see me leave. What do? |
t3_4fgfk5 | relationships | Me [23 M] with my uncertainty[25 F] she has kids, she's wonderful | Throwaway because reasons. I've known her for a little more than a year, and in this time she's shown me more love than I expected.
We dated for half a year, and then I broke it off because I realized her children scared me.
After that happened, i moved back into my parents place to finish school and she's been in her parents the whole time.
Idk what happened to her in the interim but i'm set to graduate engineering this winter and I've found myself wanting her more and more.
I've wanted my own kids but never wanted 2 kids right away.
But she's so cute and to an extent she's fulfilled every want i've ever had in a girl minus those kids. and she's SOOOO CUUUTE
It feels agonizing, i'm sure i'd love the kids if i committed to it, but if I ignore the opportunity to return to this wonderful girl, will I ever have a love as good as her? without kids?
Should I do it? I think I'd enjoy that journey, but I think I may just end up giving up on the potential to do something interesting with myself when kids and a girl i love are in the way. | She's utterly fantastic but has 2 kids. I'm young and uncertain and don't think i'll get a girl as amazing as her ever again. I could do it, but should i? |
t3_2yygi0 | self | To debate or not to debate? | Here's the context with backstory:
Last year in high school I grew to excel in English, getting top marks in assessments, including a seminar.
Now I'm in my first year or tertiary education and I've joined my local university's debating society - I figured i'd enjoy it, considering that I'd gotten into something very similar in class last year. I watched a show debate that they held as an example to us newcomers and thought "I can do this."
Then I had my first proper debate a few days ago - I was the only one in either team who hadn't done it before. Each team was given 30 minutes' preparation for our topic and we'd agreed that I would be the first speaker. I'm very introverted and i'm not fond of public speaking, but it's not cripplingly scary for me anymore, just unpleasant. When my team's turn came I got up there and completely froze. The notes I'd written were messy and I couldn't improvise anything to say. The only thing stopping me from running away was my teammates whispering to me to get out the main points. So I managed to spit them out (looking at my hands the entire time) and hurry back to my seat.
Now here's the thing: I'm conflicted about whether or not to go again. The membership fee was small (NZ$10) so it's not a big loss if I stop attending, and I texted my mum about how it went afterwards and she told me that it's mostly lawyer types who get into debating - it's essentially their job to blab, after all.
But two of the girls from the opposing team said a couple of encouraging things - they told me that most first-time debaters have a similar experience and they said they were impressed by my vocabulary. That being said, we likely have very different personalities, considering that they were both studying law and I'm studying communication design in what is in essence a technical school - much less prestigious than the university. | Joined a debating club, having improved my critical thinking and public speaking skills over my high school years. During my first debate I seized up and it went horribly. Torn up about whether to try again. What should I do? |
t3_1knwa5 | relationship_advice | Me(22m) falling head over heels for a friend (20f) and she isn't available. Ever. (First post ever. Sorry.) | Okay so I have been crushing on a friend of mine pretty hard. Summer is pretty much at a close and she knows how I feel. She said she would date me but she just got out of a really bad relationship and hasn't recovered from the backlash. Now she moved back to the college she was attending which is roughly 1000 miles away. She even said that we could talk about it next time she visits which would be in about a year. Then she would stay for the summer and go back (Infinite loop!). So I need the answer that everyone is going to give me. I just need it slapped in my face by someone who is not me. Because honestly I have a very dumb thick head and when it comes to shit like this the voice of reason might as well be a mouse trying to compete with a god dam jet engine.
Help. Please.
I know I need to stop having feelings for her because its driving me crazy. Any advice for this shit? Cuse it hurts. I know I'm acting like a little dipshit about it but, fuck. I don't know what to do. Its devolving into something unhealthy because right now the only reason I check social media websites is because there is a chance she posted something about something.
Gahh. I am so dumb! We haven't even kissed or anything! I feel like I have my head stuck up my ass shouting at my colon about "What ifs". I am not good at this kinda crap. Help me relationship gurus of Reddit. You are my only hope. | I'm crushing very hard on a friend who attends college very far away. She is emotional unavailable and I still want to go after her. I'm a thick headed idiot. Help? |
t3_3eol02 | relationships | Me [27 M] with my girlfriend [24 F] of 1.5 years, I cheated and broke up with her, how do I move on and be a better person? | I cheated a few weeks ago with a random woman. I've been planning on the breakup for a while now but I finally went through with it. She was a good girlfriend but she wasn't the person I wanted to marry and she didn't understand that and I didn't really have any good reasons as to why except "it's not what I want". We can still talk but I want to make it easier for her to move on. I feel awful about it and I don't have any good excuses. I've never cheated before but this is also my longest relationship that I admittedly stuck out with for probably too long.
Should I tell her that I cheated? Would that help? Mostly I broke up with her because of how good she was and how bad I was, I really knew it wasn't fair. | Broke up with gf of 1.5 years and cheated but didn't tell her. What are the next steps? Help me understand how I should look at all this. |
t3_35iuav | relationships | My (21f) boyfriend (21m) of 5 years doesn't seem to be moving forward in life seems to care about me less. | I've been with my boyfriend for five years, and while things haven't ever been super easy, we love each other and he's my best friend.
But while I'm graduating college next year, getting ready to contact my biological family (which is a huge deal for me and is extremely stressful), he's had to drop out of school after his first year because his mom spent his college money. He works at a grocery store almost every day trying to save up to go back to school, but spends hundreds and hundreds of dollars on toys he doesn't need and tickets to concerts he doesn't feel all that strongly about. At this point he'll never go back to school, and he refuses to do research for any type of trade school.
I'm as supportive as I know how to be but I feel like he doesn't have room to be supportive of me with everything he has going on. The only time we spend time together is at night when he's off work and he's too tired and irritated to talk, or when he requests off work to hang out and there's pressure to DO something, like he tries to cram living his life into those days.
We don't talk very much anymore, and there's a huge strain on our sex life. He complains about it to me, to his friends, and on reddit. But the only times he's free to have sex are early in the morning and late at night. It has to be scheduled and is never in the heat of the moment, and he gets aggravated when I'm not turned on immediately or when I don't go out of my way to take part in foreplay. I'm just struggling knowing how I can help him and how I can help myself, because we both need something we just aren't getting. | Boyfriend having to work constantly because his mom is in debt and crazy, with me and my problems on the backburner and it's making things not so great with us. |
t3_27r9fm | Advice | I'm moving to one of three places, but there are some strings attached. | I've been a long time lurker, and I never thought I would post. Here goes...
I started dating a girl in December. Things are going great; she makes me laugh, we have fun together, and we just enjoy each other's company. I told her from the start that I planned on moving to either Colorado (been a goal of mine for some years now) or to LA to be near a buddy of mine (I'm from Ohio). She loves LA and stated that she would move there with me when the time came. She didn't say much about Colorado (my first choice). I'm finishing up a Master's degree this summer and planned on scrounging up some cash from my current job and heading out west around September or October.
About a week ago, we started talking seriously about it. I told her Colorado (a place she's never visited) is probably my choice, and she didn't like that too much. She basically told me that if I leave, we could try long distance, but clearly it would be over if that happened. On the other hand, since she's been to LA and loved it, she's ready to move there. However, I've never been there and I'm not too enthused about price of living, even with a good friend there already ( I plan on being a teacher. Not really rolling in $$$ over here).
Or I could choose the third option and just stay in Ohio, near family, etc. However, they are encouraging me to move, as it's been a life goal. | I'm in love with a girl, but have to decide between living in my dream location and lose her, or possibly be miserable where I don't want to be and keep her. Or stay home (booo!). |
t3_248dph | relationships | Me [25 F] with my friend [28 F] of 1 year, are both engaged at the same time and I can't afford both weddings. | My friend, I'll call her Wendy, has been talking to me about wanting to get married to her bf for a long time and since we've become really close over the last year at school/work she told me that when she eventually gets engaged she wants me to be one of her bridesmaids. I thought it was weird to ask before being engaged but said I'd be happy to.
I recently got engaged (Yay! Surprise!) and don't know if I want her to be one of my bridesmaids (I haven't asked anyone yet) because we've only known each other for a year AND I know my wedding, like most, will cost me a pretty penny.
Wendy just recently told me she's planning an engagement party and asked me again if I wanted to be her bridesmaid (via text) and I gave her a quick "I'd love to". The problem is she wants a destination wedding which I know will be very expensive for me as a bridesmaid.
Considering I'm currently an unemployed student I'm really worried Wendy's wedding will be financially draining. Also, I've talked to my future husband and he doesn't like Wendy enough to be willing to come with me halfway across the world, to some normally rainy part of Canada, for a destination wedding.
What would you guys do in my situation? | Would you be offended if your close friend didn't come to your wedding and refused to be a bridesmaid because she had her own wedding to worry about? |
t3_1e7jom | relationships | My [20M] long-distance girlfriend [21F] is insecure and not very passionate. | I'm in a LDR (long distant relationship) and have been for about a year now. My girlfriend is incredibly sweet, loving, caring, and selfless. I love her for being who she is and when she's being genuine and confident, she's the most BEAUTIFUL individual I've ever seen. However, she often has problems with insecurities (with good reason, seeing how her last BF cheated on her a bunch of times).
Regardless, it comes down to this. I LOVE my job. I LOVE what I do in school, and the activities I partake in. I share them with her every day and I can't wait for my future. On the other hand, my GF isn't very passionate about her future. She loves to party and drink, and she loves family, and she can talk about it all day with smiles on her face, but not much else. She loves dancing and she pursues it just a little.
To put it short, I see such AMAZING things in her, and she knows that I do. I often ask her about what she wants to do and what she wants to be, but she gets really defensive and quiet when I do. She gets bothered when I ask her about her future in general. Other than that, she's generally very energetic! | How can I help motivate her to put less effort into things that I know are less important to her well-being and more on things I know will help her be stronger as a person? |
t3_a62p1 | AskReddit | Where can I find good resources for learning Korean? | I have (for the most part) taught myself up to a conversational level in Japanese by using friends and online resources (not classroom). There was plenty of information available online about the basic writing systems (Hiragana and Katakana).
I am now trying to study Korean. My problem is, most of the good books require you to be able to read Hangul (Korean alphabet) - which is fine. But, I can't seem to find a good resource for learning Hangul. I have finally given in and signed up for a free beginners Korean class at the Korean consulate, in hopes of learning Hangul there. But, if anyone can point me to some other good resources to get a head start on that, or for studying with after my classes are finished, that would be great! | Can't find good resource to learn Hangul. What resources do you recommend for Hangul and other beginner Korean studies? |
t3_wd8fg | BreakUps | Bullshit break up, I want to beat the living shit out of this other guy. | 17/M and 17/F. Okay! So, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because she can't tell her mom the truth about me. I want to sit down with her mom and tell her everything so I can still be with my girlfriend. Well, obviously this isn't gonna work because I am now being ignored when we're supposed to still be best friends. She is also talking to a guy who has had feelings for her before, but they moved way past that. This guy is also across the country now, so I'm not *too* worried, but I still worry that something has been going on before he moved. I feel like she hasn't told me the whole story, and that's what is keeping me from getting even a little better over closure. I don't know what's going on, and I'm thinking about starting to hang out with this girl from work so I can see what happens. With the girl, and my girlfriend. Er... Ex girlfriend. That's extremely weird to say, and I want to stop saying it because I still love her. | Girlfriend of two years broke up with me, I don't have full story of why, cause she is ignoring me and I suspect something has been going on with another guy. |
t3_fjr1q | AskReddit | I'm going to a 17+ Club tonight and just wanted an idea of what I'm in for | I'm going to the Roxxy in Philadelphia tonight, 17 to get in and 21 to drink. The reviews seem to paint it as an underage skankhole.
Now, the issue is I'm 21. If I didn't have underage friends I'd be at a bar or 21+ club that more suits my style of not having to adhere to a dress code. A 17 year old girl, though only 4 or so years younger than me, would have been graduating 8th grade as I was preparing for college. This weirds me out and is a lot of the reason I stopped going to house parties when I turned 21. (I'm aware that as I get older this difference will mean nothing)
Basically, I want to hear about this specific club or similar experiences as I'm a bar person and have never been to a club, much less one that is potentially full of high school girls. | Is it worth paying a cover to drink expensive miller lite and watch 17 year olds dance, or is my perception of clubs completely wrong? |
t3_uac2j | AskReddit | After a night at the club together with my friend, she calls me "safe." What does that mean?! | I went with a group of friends to Vegas to celebrate my buddy's birthday. I knew one of the girls (let's call her Sarah) from our group for a few years but never that well.
To make a long story short, we all went clubbing one night after having a few drinks. I started dancing with a random girl who was already there. After we took a break, I ran into Sarah who apparently saw us and commented on it. She said we should get a drink and after she led me back to the dance floor. That's when we started getting jiggy with it, doing some dirty dancing and hooking up. A few hours later, we realize the rest of our group was gone and went to get a taxi back to our hotel. As we're waiting, she asked what I thought of her and I told her that I always thought she disliked me because she always gave me a really hard time. Then I asked what she thought of me and that's when Sarah said I was "safe" guy. And then she went to tell me other things about our mutual friend that she said never told anyone before and that I should feel special.
I didn't think anything of it at the time but now I realize I have no idea what it means to be "safe!" Any ideas, Reddit?
To give some context, here's a side note about myself: I am the least likely person you would expect to find in Vegas. I'm a bio grad applying to medical school who would much rather read about psychology and physics and I rarely drink (twice in the last two years). Yup, I'm THAT guy. | Hooked up on a dance floor with a friend then talked for a bit afterwords and she called me "safe." |
t3_2ne3vw | relationships | I [25 M] never had a relationship. Not sure how to start. | Hi Reddit. I'm 25 years old and realized that I'm in a bit of a personal development rut socially. I was the proverbial nerd in high school and college. I studied, went to some parties but didn't drink much, and never hooked up with anyone. I had some flings in grad school but they never progressed toward a relationship and I got burned a few times. I'm in a decent place in my life (like my job, workout, feeling positive) but I now don't have any idea where to look for a girlfriend. I cant use my workplace because most people there are married and not within my age range and as a small office, I don't want to stir up drama.
I'm not a fan of the bar scene since I myself am not a heavy drinker and clubbing makes it insanely difficult to talk to people. The place where I rock climb is pretty much only filled with guys and I get ignored on the street. I'm also not the greatest at just randomly going up to a stranger and starting a conversation (have no idea what to say). I would like to get some advice on how to start a conversation and potential places to meet people. | Nerd trying to break his shell and meet new people with goal of eventually finding a girlfriend. Would like advice on how to start a conversation and where to meet people. |
t3_3ygvs5 | dogs | [Help] I fear that My dog is becoming aggressive. Details in Post | I got Ryder last August(2014) when he was 3 months old from a local shelter. All they told us was that he was abused and was found covered in fleas/ticks. When we took him home he was extremely shy and took 3 days to finally warm up to me and my girlfriend. Whenever new people would come around he would be shy and hide for a while.
He is now full grown, 45 lbs golden collie mix, Up until the past 2 months he would essentially just hide in our room when new people come over and slowly come out to greet them. Now, he barks at newcomers incessantly even if they offer him treats, sit on the ground, and talk to him in a soft voice. He views anyone who walks into our house as an extreme threat to him (Hair standing up on his back and keeping his distance). We've taken him to the dog park and taken him to training lessons to try and help him get over this fear of people but it doesn't seem to be helping. He is NOT aggressive in either of these situations. I would not bring him into public if I thought he was going to endanger others.
This past week is what has really worried me, If I try to pick up any fuzz from him while he's ripping apart a toy, he snips at me. The snip is somewhere between a playful bite and a "I want to hurt you bite".
He also snipped at one of my friend's kids feet today. He has always been skittish of children but never shown any signs of aggression.
I am starting a new obedience training class next week at a more qualified place than pets mark. I am hoping that being in a setting with people and dogs 1-2x a week will help him with his aggression.
Short of locking him up when guests come over (I'd like this to be a last resort),What other steps can I do to help my dog be more at ease when new comers come into our home? | My dog is transitioning from being a shy dog, to being mildly aggressive. What can I do to help him work towards understanding that newcomers in our home are not a threat? |
t3_2tw0co | tifu | TIFU by being too open with my mother | Brief background: I'm a 16-year-old high-school kid. Over the past six months I have become much less of an introvert and now, I actually *talk* to a girl if I like her, rather than just stare at her in a creepy manner. Weird concept, right, guys?
Anyway, since September I've had a crush on a girl in the grade above me - let's call her Megan - but I brushed it aside because we have actually become pretty good friends. Here comes the FU: before I decided that the FriendZone was the place for me at this stage, I made the mistake of informing my mother of my (what I thought were) feelings for Megan.
So when, by chance, Mom and I ran into her today, I introduced them. Mom was like "Ah! Megan! Nice to finally meet you! I've heard so much about you...ah...wasn't supposed to say that..."
Megan shot me a puzzled look. Mom and I both blushed.
TIFU, Reddit. TIFU bad. | Mom told my crush, in not so many words, that I like her. Things are now rather awkward between me and said crush. |
t3_16qyu8 | relationships | My(20) bf(19) just wants friendship and nothing more with me. | hello all! tonight while trying to initiate sex my bf told me he had been meaning to talk to me about what has been on his mind, we had been in a relationship for almost five years and i know hes the one but he feels far from that, he told me that he loves me to death but ONLY and strictly wants a friendship with me , no sex no nothing just friendship. and hes been feeling like this for a while no matter how much he has tried to get those feelings back he just hasnt been able to. he says he feels trapped because he knows he cant be happy without hurting me and he cant bear the fact of losing me. i dont know how to feel about this. i feel extremely hurt but i know its something he cant control feeling. being just a friend is not an option for me . Has anyone else been in this situation? what have you done or how have you gotten through it?:( | SO of five years just wants a friendship and nothing else but unfortunetley i cant deliver because i feel so strongly about him |
t3_3dpv69 | travel | Two months NZ, unsure with route | I will be in New Zealand with my girlfriend from mid August to mid September and start+end will be in Auckland. Been there a couple of years ago for almost the same duration but this time I'm not sure which route is recommendable, maybe you can help?
Basically I'd like to rent a car for the whole time but maybe some part with a campervan (self contained to use DOC camp grounds) and the other part with a regular cheap car and hostels.
I thought it would be good idea to rent a camper van from Auckland to Wellington (maybe 2 weeks), then use the ferry without expensive car transfer and get a new car on the other side to explore the south island (maybe 3 weeks) and get back to use the last 3 weeks of spring on the north island.
But seems like there is no trustworthy car rental without huge one way fee and now I'm a bit stuck. | We have two months in NZ, love the freedom of a campervan and basically want to travel "the whole" north and south island to spend our days with travelling and hiking. |
t3_104dc6 | dating_advice | How can I fix the situation? | So we're about one month into school and there is this girl that I had a huge crush on last year in my Biology class, but I never talked to her except for a few tidbits here and there. We're both Seniors (~21).
Today I'm walking through the quad and see her so I say hi. And we have this great 5-10 minute conversation about the class and what she's doing with her life and what I plan on doing, etc. Before things get awkward we begin to break away at the same time to go to class. We're on the verge of running late.
Before she walks away I get enough courage to say "Would you like to hang out sometime?" And she very happily says yes. And she gets my number and sends me a text saying "Hi" and her name.
About an hour later I texted her back because I got sidetracked trying to get to class on time. I simply asked if she made it to class on time. But I never got a reply back.
Did I try to initiate conversation wayyyy too quickly? I was genuinely curious because I was late and my professor was a lil ticked off.
If I was acting too quickly, how can I fix this? Also, how soon should I propose that we do something? Midterms are this week for everyone, so I figured that a coffee date on Friday would be good to celebrate the achievement of the first midterm of the semester. Neither of us have class that day.
I've never been more excited to get a girl's number before. I was so confident during the conversation we had and everything. She's absolutely beautiful, ambitious, and by far was the smartest girl in the class (which is what made me like her in the first place). I really don't want to mess this situation up.
Help me, Reddit, you're my only hope. | Got a girl's number this morning, stupidly texted within the hour and no reply. How should I move forward now? |
t3_rg9og | dogs | My dog will eat almost anything. Anyone else have this problem, and what have you done to solve it? | I have a 5 year old red Doberman that will eat anything. Socks, tissues, bandannas, cotton swabs, pretty much anything she can find. We have bought trashcans with lids for the whole house and tried *stay away* sprays, but she still manages to find things to eat. We literally cannot turn our backs for a minute and she has ninja'd something from somewhere. The more we restrict access to the house, the weirder and weirder the items get that she eats (most recently a syllabus for a class). Both our dogs are crate trained, so we are at the point that she needs to be locked up anytime we can't keep both eyes on her. She has a doggy door to a big back yard, and she plays a lot and gets exercise. She has been thru obedience school, so it's not the inability to be trained. She has had surgery once to remove a corn cob from her stomach (this is what spurred the trashcans with lids), and most recently, almost had to have surgery again because she swallowed a washrag, and almost didn't pass it. I mowed the lawn the other day and found over 16 ankle socks that she had eaten and pooped out. We are at out wits end, and fear for her safety, but we both have to work, and can't just leaver her locked up all day. Any advice would be appreciated. | My dog eats anything she can get her paws on, we have tried everything to stop it. We are afraid for her health. |
t3_3hfoui | relationships | I'm [F 20] feeling guilty for late night texting guy friends that aren't my boyfriend [M 23] of a year. Is this valid or not? | I sometimes (maybe twice a month) text my guy friends into the wee hours of morning when I'm physically apart from my boyfriend. Our conversations are purely platonic and they know that I'm dating someone and aren't trying to pursue me. My boyfriend also knows these guy friends and isn't worried by them. He also knows I talk to my guy friends often. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over a year and have established a strong sense of trust. I would also not mind if he texting his close girl friends late into the night. I would ask him if this late night texting is okay, but then I feel like that in itself would make him paranoid.
Is my sense of guilt valid and should I refrain from this texting or is it invalid and paranoid and should I be able to continue within boundary? | I text my guy friends a lot and sometimes late into the night and I don't know if I should feel guilty/stop |
t3_196h2u | needadvice | Should I have kids? | My fiancé and I have been on the fence about this for the last year or two. We are seriously weighing our options. (Quick note: Yes, I've noticed it as one of the "Top Ten Regrets" on the side. Also, I did a search and didn't see this topic. If it's been discussed at length before I'd appreciate a link to it.)
A lot of the pull to have kids at the moment isn't some normal desire so much as social and familial obligations to do so. We're both pretty smart, educated, kind, and responsible people and it seems almost like a duty to bring more people like us into the world. I'm sure my parents would be quite disappointed to not see any grandkids.
Aside from that, all we tend to see is a huge list of cons. I see friends of ours with kids that just seem so rundown and struggling. One in particular that comes to mind has 3 kids and had to move outside the city where it's cheaper to live. She has next to no social life now and we never see her anymore. My fiancé also doesn't want to ruin her body having a child or two.
We've asked some of our friends with kids, and our own parents a bit, for advice on the topic. Everyone that has kids says it's the most amazing thing in the world and they wouldn't trade it for anything. I understand that's how they may feel but I just don't see it. The very thought of changing diapers and potty training is appalling. On the other hand, seeing your kid build something in Minecraft for the first time might be kinda cool.
We've been debating joining up with Big Brothers / Big Sisters to see if that may be a better fit. Adoption is also a possibility to get past all that baby stuff we both hate, though I debate if I could love an adopted child as much as my own flesh and blood (I would hope so, but I just don't know).
She's in her early 30's so the time to choose is quickly coming up on us.
I suppose the main thing I'm wondering is if there are any people out there (40+) that never had kids and are okay with it. Do any of these alternatives seem feasible? | Not sure whether or not to have kids. Anyone not have kids and cool with it? We hate babies, is adoption a good idea? |
t3_1hcxv8 | relationships | [DATING] I [22M] need your help, redditors. How to impress a cute [19F] to get more dates? | I broke up with my long-term girlfriend about 2 weeks ago. Thy 'why is not so important now, it was about time. I haven't got any feelings for her.
Days later, I started a cnversation on an internet dating site (*confession bear: and I don't have any shame about this, I just think it's normal*), and we will see each other tomorrow. I am shitting my pants, because I really want to date her for a longer time, and I just have no ideas how to impress this cute girl to make her the same feelings as I have.
As we talked on internet lately, it turned out quickly we have a lot of common in interest, hobbies and so on (we love to read books etc.), but I just think we have talked out every freaking interests. What should I do tomorrow? Or I'm just impatient?
Sorry for my bad English. | I broke up with my gf lately, but I will see another girl tomorrow. I need tips to impress her, because she is so cute and talkable, and we have a lot in common. |
t3_2vlc6b | jobs | Secured a phone interview after the first resume sent out. Looking for practical advice on staying in a job versus leaving. | Hi folks,
I am currently in a part time position where I regularly get 40/hrs a week plus overtime here and there. My hourly rate is $22/hr, overtime is $33/hr. If I didn't have any overtime, I would take in ~$45,000 pre-tax and ~$32,000 after tax.
Last February, I was asked if I would be interested in a full-time promotion and I said I was. I was told that the next steps would be taken soon after. I waited a while and eventually asked about this phantom promotion. Turns out my supervisor had been told he could promote someone and then that was rescinded after he had his conversation with me.
So, my supervisor said he would work on that situation. It has been exactly one year. I thought a few months of waiting was disappointing, but a year without hearing anything else just feels disrespectful.
My current job is fine...not all that challenging, but I take hours other people don't want and I'm good at it. I'd like to make more money, have more responsibilities, and get benefits that I feel like I've earned.
I found a job I was qualified for the other night and sent my resume and had an email asking for a phone interview within 24 hours. The company is in a similar field, but they or their parent company aren't nearly as recognizable as my current employer nor are they anywhere near as profitable.
If you live in America, you would know the company I currently work for. We're under the umbrella of an organization that makes billions each year and our division was responsible for approximately 1 billion of that. Our division is in a tech field that has huge potential and is on the rise.
So, I'm curious about what others think about the situation.
Should I approach my supervisor again concerning the promotion before I get an offer elsewhere?
Is the current prestige of working for a well-known / respected company that is only getting more successful worth trading for better pay / benefits at the moment?
Any thoughts on my situation would be immensely helpful. | Work part-time for a well-known/respected company that is in a big growth period. Informally offered promotion that still hasn't materialized in a year. Considering jumping ship and considering my options. |
t3_2je9wq | relationship_advice | (M/18) My otherwise perfect relationship with gf (f/18) of 2 years possibly ruined by a vibrator | My girlfriend (f/18) and I (m/18) have been dating for over 2 years almost without a hitch, until a few months ago. We were each others' first sexual partners, we never fought, always supportive of one another etc, until about 3 months ago when she became disinterested in anything sexual. She acted exactly the same in every other way and still said she loved me, but suddenly had zero interest in intimacy. This has caused me to become extremely insecure over the past several months, as I no longer felt certain she was romantically interested even though she assured me I was wrong.
Until today, when she confessed that several months ago her mother bought her a vibrator and she felt awkward about it so she hadn't told me. She doesn't even seem to realize that she has essentially replaced a primary means of me showing my feelings for her with a sex toy.
Do I ask her to stop using it? | gf's vibrator killed sex life, making me feel unwanted/insecure, should I ask her to stop using it? |
t3_2am31h | tifu | TIFU by getting with a girl with the same surname | ok so i went out for a bit of a celebration last night as i've just got back on my feet scored a new job and after being down for about 8 months everything in life has turned around for me. So i figure lets go out and drink far too much. While i was out i seen my friend and her friend too kinda cute looking girl well after we hit a couple of jagerbombs and start walking to the club she tells me she has the same surname as me too. So we start trying to work out if we are related in some long winded way but non of the family we had pointed to use sharing family. So i jokingly mention i kinda feel we need to get it on now just because we aint related. she throws herself towards me and we hang around the club chatting and kissing for the night. All my friends had started to go and she said we should get going was we going to hers or mine? nobody was at mine so i brought her back. I start fooling around with her and then all of a sudden BOOM what the fuck was that? turns out she had squirted she never knew she could do it and i had neither came across it so for a split second we was both kinda weirded out about the whole thing. But it seemed kinda hot so i carried on and kept making her squirt her shit all over the place kind of like a kid at Christmas. a few hours went past of fucking and fooling around then she had to go work but she seemed damn grateful she'd discovered squirting! | Got with girl who has same surname as me. Took her home and discovered she a squirter. Made her squirt her shit over and over. |
t3_1pl5bx | pettyrevenge | Run a red light? I can wait for you. | A few months ago I was driving through my town. It's not a very large town so traffic is very light. I came across some roadworks where there was a traffic light operated system since one side of the road was ripped up. Obviously, I wait my turn for it to go green and as it does, I proceed as normal. I drive a while (the work was about 400m long or so) but as I drive, I notice someone heading towards me. It was obvious that this douche tried to run the red light because another car behind him was waiting.
Anyway, I don't stop driving because I see him indicate left to a side road. I try my best to get ahead of this road to block this douche off for running a red light, and to my luck, I was in time! As he reached me, he stopped and tried to gesture me to reverse back so he could turn into this road. I was having none of it and just sat there in the car, looking at my wrist to indicate I had all day. It seemed like he also had no intention of reversing back to his light but I happily sat in my car.
After a further 2 minutes of gesticulating and light flashing and horn beeping, the douche driver gave up and decided to reverse back the 150 metres to the traffic light. When he got there and when there was enough room, I gave him a smile and a happy wave whereas I just got the finger (oooh!) I continued my journey on happy in the knowledge that I pissed off the douche driver. | douche ran a red light at roadworks, blocked him from turning into a side road, I refused to budge until he moved back. |
t3_4zjtwz | personalfinance | First time refinancing a home | A couple of days ago I received a call from our mortgage lender asking if we were interested in refinancing our home since the interest rate has dropped. She stated that we would be saving about $200 a month on our house payment.
We've only been in our new home for a year so refinancing another 30 year loan isn't going to dig us down that much deeper. Plus, we would be receiving an escrow refund of $6000 and we wouldn't have to make a house payment next month (since loan processes are usually a month behind).
She told us that the escrow is ours to keep, but if we opted out of putting it into the new loan, our loan would be going up about $8000. I'm not sure why, but I'm assuming some of it is the month that we didn't have to pay and the rest is the amount to cover taxes which are due this December (since no escrow has been built up this time of year)
I've tried having her explain it repeatedly, but she said that the taxes would get paid regardless if we put the escrow in our new loan so I'm still not sure why our loan would go up? | We owe $304k now that will be paid off and closed. When we refinance, our lender states we can save $200 a month, but our loan amount will be $312k. Not sure why? |
t3_f9ocx | AskReddit | Reddit, I need your magical powers to help me with things! | OK, My friend has serious problems with her girlfriend. She cuts herself about 2-3 times a day, once woke up about 2 am in the morning and and went on a rage. She was born with a fucked up family. Her 74 year old dad smoke 4 packs everyday and gets drunk every night and is supposed to die in 7 years. Her mother pretty much does the same thing. Every night.
And, Its affecting my friend too, he's pretty much depressed everyday about her, he smokes so much for her, pretty much failed school for her. But he cant just let her go. Reddit, What do I do? | GF cuts herself, and goes on right rages, Affects friend by smoking and failing school, I wanted to help. |
t3_21xszk | dogs | My dog will randomly regurgitate water, sometimes food...Need some help figuring it out. | Hey all,
My dog has had this issue ever since we got him from the shelter. We originally thought it was because he was eating too quickly, so we got one of those "obstacle" bowls to prevent him from just vacuuming his food down. He also drank his water at the same time he ate, so we started giving him water in smaller amounts and at separate times from his food.
We learned that he usually doesn't regurgitate his food, but his water, if we give him any appreciable amount of water, he'll gulp it down and within 5 minutes, it will be on the carpet, along with a bunch of white foamy/slimy stuff. We switched to giving him ice cubes to chew on and get his liquid that way, but sometimes he still regurgitates that. We feed him Science diet sensitive stomach, and that seemed to help a bit? Before that he was eating Science diet - advanced nutrition...
We've asked our vet and a different vet about it and they had no answers for us. He is a happy healthy 3 year old mix, and the regurgitation doesn't seem to bother him. He kinda burps, drops the slop out of his mouth and then moves onto playing or doing whatever he was doing. He's vomited bile maybe 5 times tops in the 1.5+ years we've had him, and that's a considerably longer and grosser affair, and he doesn't look or act very happy after that's happened. So I don't think he's really "vomiting" just basically regurgitating for some reason when he does this.
Recently, I have noticed that when my wife feeds him in the morning and he comes back to bed with me for an hour or so, sometimes he'll get up, jump down and regurgitate then. It also seems to happen in spurts, like for 2 weeks he won't have any issues, then all of the sudden he regurgitates 3 times in one day. Sure this is annoying, but I'll never get rid of him, so if there's no answer, oh well...I'll just buy stock in carpet cleaner. Haha. | My dog will randomly regurgitate after drinking water, along with a bunch of white foam/slimey stuff. Asked 2 diff vets about it and they don't really know what could be causing it. |
t3_45hspi | cats | Cat is dying, need answers | So our cat has been losing a lot of weight and not acting himself. We took him to the vet. He is dying. Vet told us that he was depressed and that his body was failing due to old age. We wanted to save him but he says even if we tried we can't hide from the truth of what's going on. The thing is my sister took him to the vet and did not ask what I would have asked if I was there. The vet said that he could put him down or that we could take him home and he could find a place to "sleep". He said he wasn't in pain but I'm scared that since his body is failing if he would be in pain then. His name is Toni and he just turned 13. Can anyone give me advise what to do? I feel like letting him sleep anywhere he wants would be best for him but I just can't stand seeing him not be Toni. Thank you and excuse my grammar. | Vet said his organs were shutting down. Gave him 48 hour tops. Was going to take him this morning to a vet for second opinion., he didn't make it. Thank you to those who tried to help me |
t3_2u7wjf | relationship_advice | Me [14/m] who is basically using a girl for sex | So some context, my friend is 14 and his "girlfriend" is 13 same school year/grade, and this is Britain.
Basically she's completely into him, and from what I've seen he doesn't really care about her, he's only using her for jack off material, I'm pretty sure they doing nudes on snapchat atm. He only really started talking to her last night, she had a crush on him beforehand, but he was all like "what would you do if I asked for a Bj" and he's like "I'm not sure if we should go out I'd need to kiss first" so it's clear he doesn't really care. It seems like I'm the only one who thinks this is completely fucked, but I don't really want to wade in and just tell them to stop because I'll look like a massive cunt to him, and probably to her because she loves him basically, even though I know it's just some teenage crush. He basically grovelled so they'd meet up on Sunday, and was all like "what would you do if I put my hand down your trousers at the back" and shit like that. Also he's a complete beta,meh hardly asked her out, and this is all taking place over text. I texted him before all the sex parts kicked off telling him to man up and ask her out as he'd basically just led her on for an hour, and he was all like "I'm not sure if I even like her that" even though he'd basically asked if she had a crush on him and if they'd kiss.
Not sure to wade in or not, can anyone one help? | 14 yr old asking his 13 yr old"girlfriend" for sex and only getting away with it because she's completely into him and it seems like the only who cares |
t3_2p1yox | relationships | I [23 F] have been with my boyfriend [25 M] for 3 years, man I wanted 4 years ago wants to date, I can't decide what I want. | In first year of university, I lost my virginity to an amazing guy, James. I had gotten to know him quite well before and really liked him, but he was not interested in a relationship. So we just hooked up for the year. I always had hope we'd be something more, he meant a lot and I didn't want to give up.
Fast forward 1 year and I meet a really sweet guy, Kyle, who I just kind of fell into a relationship for 3 + years (still going). He is so sweet, loving, supportive and kind to me. I have depression and even on my absolute worst days he couldn't handle it any better. What has serious problems is our sex life (once ever 2-3 months), and on top of that, idk if I love him anymore. He's just amazing on paper.
Now, James is talking to me again. We've talked a bit over the years, but now he's interested in dating. Which I wanted extremely badly in the past. I am so attracted to him, had way better sex with him, and we're just more similar in terms of interests etc. However, I fear that he won't be as great as a boyfriend as Kyle. He has even said this, although he also still says he likes and cares about me, and wants to be with me.
I don't know who to choose. In a perfect world, I could be with James for a while to know better before ending my long term relationship with Kyle. Which I know is horrible, I could never cheat. I just can't make a decision. | Can't decide between long term loving/supportive boyfriend who I have infrequent/bad sex with or pre-boyfriend crush I can't stop thinking about. |
t3_50dxtv | relationships | I [18 M] can't tell if this girl [18 F] is flirting or not, and I'm scared to make a move because we live on the same floor really close to each other. | So I was chatting on my university's group chat last night about this assigned reading book, and suddenly this girl DMs me and basically tells me what she thinks of the book. We then go into deep conversation not only about the book but mostly about our lives/funny moments and I eventually asked for her number (my excuse being that the messaging app was draining my battery) which she gave me.
I asked if she wanted to hang out and she was very enthusiastic about it. We ended up talking for about 3 hours that night (all the way up until 1 AM). She told me I was funny and liked how I told stories, and appreciated all my jokes.
She also gave me her snapchat and we've been snapchatting all day. She even took 2 screenshots when I told jokes to her.
I found out that she's actually not only in the same dorm building as me, but she lives on the same floor, VERY close to my room. This could be a blessing and a curse. I want to make a move on her, but if she's not into me like that, things could be VERY awkward.
I move in to my room tomorrow and she says she really wants to hang out with me.
I'm confused as to where I should go from here.
Thank you so much for your time and thought! | Girl from university DMs me out of nowhere, we talk, she appreciates my humor and wants to hang out, but we live very close to each other so if things go wrong it'll be awkward. What do I do? |
t3_1lxcaa | relationships | How do I [21m] keep our past out of arguments with [19f] | Wont be too long a post don't worry!
Me and my lady have been together for 1.5 years almost, but known each other for around 5.
During our relationship she has done some things that hurt me, but I have forgiven her, and some of her behaviors make me feel like she does some things on purpose but I dont think she does.
We have been arguing about sex lately (the only thing we argue about) and the problem I've had is her not initiating/saying she is going to do something but doesn't.
The initiating thing I think she is working on, but we've been arguing about this for about 5 months now and there isn't any noticeable progress. She doesn't live with me yet, but when she comes up I wait and wait and she doesn't do anything, and I eventually ask her why she didn't and she says I didn't give her enough time or something else. That's okay and all but that's usually the only thing I hear. Or if I say we should do something she will say "I was going to but you said it first."
Now this one is tricky, there are a lot of times I'll ask for something be it oral or something and she will say that she will take care of it when I get off work etc. Then when I get home she is tired/sick/not in the mood or something. I'm not saying she is doing it on purpose but the fact that it continues to happen makes me feel bad and like im unattractive to her.
Today we were talking and she always says "you bring up the past everytime we argue." I feel like the past is a predicter of the future. And cant help but say "you did this then and you are continuing to, how can I not?" | having arguments and im using the past to predict what she is going to do successfully 99/100 times, but she gets upset that I do this, how do I stop? |
t3_168dm4 | AskReddit | How do I help my friend without offending him? | My friend is overweight. Not so much that he can't run around or walk; he's actually not that big. The thing that worries me is he's gaining fat. He is not any friend this guy has been with me for a while and understands me, we share the same interests, we have a connection that not many people have, and I love him as a brother. I want to tell him that even though his weight is not a problem now, it will be later if he doesn't deal with it. He is never FULLY happy (he's fun and jolly a lot of the time) and definitely doesn't like being big, but he doesn't do anything about it. How do I approach him and tell him all this without making him angry or sad, but make him hopeful so he can raise his self esteem and go after girls and stuff. He is one of the smartest and amazing people I will ever know, how do I motivate him? | My friend is large, getting bigger. How do I tell him I want him to lose weight without offending him and motivate him? |
t3_dfkwg | running | Would really appreciate some 'trance/techno music for running' help. Please! | Hi there
I've always meant to take up running and after several failed attempts, have finally taken to it (albeit 4 miles after running 2 months) and I love it. But I'm looking for advice from someone who knows techno/trance. It's not my staple music diet but I love it to run to. There are two songs that really get me stretched out and help me push myself. The songs are 'Operation Blade' by Public Domain and 'Project Infinity 2008' by Guru Josh . In the first, I guess I like the crescendo, vocals, the thumping bass and the lulls. And of course, the bpm. The live background helps. With the latter, its again the vocals, the crescendo, the beats (love running to the pace). I don't know if these songs are considered good or not and whether or not they are is immaterial; they help me push myself. I am really looking for more songs along this vein and would love some recommendations please | love running to 'Operation Blade' by Public Domain and 'Project Infinity 2008' by Guru Josh, would love some recommendations along those lines. |
t3_305gcp | relationships | Me [27 m] with my girlfriend [30 F] 1 year affair abruptly ending, does husband need to know? | Although I love this person very much, she told me she was leaving her husband soon, it's now been a year and the resentment and stress has taken its toll. There's fault on both sides, but it feels like she got what she wanted and is now bailing.
I'm stuck with thinking..... Do I tell her husband and provide photographic evidence? Prior, I thought I wasn't that kind of man, but the more I think about it, I can't help but wonder if her poor sap of a husband deserves to know at this point. I'd like some mature and honest opinions on the matter. | Kept me on the hook for a year with promises of leaving husband, leaves me after 1 year. Should I tell her husband? |
t3_3lq990 | relationships | Me [21 M/F] with my GF [21 M/F] 3 years, short-description | I've been with my girlfriend for almost three years now, and lately I've been kind of lost interest in having sex with her. When we first started dating we were having sex almost everyday, like an unhealthy amount of sex. It's dwindled down to a few times a week since then and I figure, OK, that's normal, everyone settles out of the honeymoon phase. But as of about three weeks ago, my libido has been absolute nil. We've had sex a few times but she initiated each occasion and I, lacking any explanation, just went along with it. I can still have sex, but it doesn't really feel the same anymore; masturbating feels equally good if not better.
I am deeply in love with this girl, so breaking up with her is not an option, at least not for so shallow a reason. I'm afraid to talk to her about it because she has low self esteem and extremely high stress; she might take it personally that I'm not into it, and the sex a good way for her to relax. We've tried being kinky (minor roleplay, lingerie, etc.) but that isn't working and I don't think I want to get more kinky than that.
I get along with this girl in every other facet of life and I truly believe that we are meant for each other, but how can I get my libido back? And if I can't, what if anything should I tell her? Please help. | I don't enjoy sex with my girlfriend anymore, how do I regain my libido, or cope if I can't? |
t3_5025ra | tifu | TIFU by trying to secretly deliver flowers to a girl at night | Here's some background.. I'm an 18 year old dude and I'm really into this girl I've been dating. So I thought girls love flowers, I'll get her some flowers and lowkey deliver them when she's not home. In my mind great idea! I go to the store, get her favorite flower, the sunflower, continue on to her house.
Now she lives in the middle of nowhere so it's as pitch black as I'm driving in and so I decide to park a street down so as to not stir anyone in the house and foil my plan for it to be secret. I walk a block to get to her house, 0 street lights, creepy ass noises in the bushes so I'm mad sus already.
I get to her driveway, walk down the long driveway and realize shit, someone is home and they're watching TV in a room that's next to their side door. So I quietly move in to place the flowers. Just as I get to the door and begin to bend over to place the flowers, the damn dog sees me through the window. And goes fucking berserk.
I jump, drop the flowers, and begin to dip the hell out of there. (Just a side note, I haven't met her dad yet, and the only thing I know about him is that he's "a tad aggressive.") As I'm in the driveway, a motion activated sensor goes off and floodlights just light me up. The front door opens and I see the girl's dad with no shirt on. He yells out to me **"If you ever fucking come back here, I will fucking kill you myself."** He totally thinks I'm robbing him and it definitely looks like it. So I'm like fuck my life, I'm in the middle of nowhere, I'm definitely getting shot. So I keep running instead of thinking and maybe turning around and apologizing for the scare.
So now I'm for sure hated by her dad, not sure if I should apologize for the misunderstanding, or never mention it and him never realize it was me. | Tried to be cute and secretly deliver a girl flowers, but instead was met by her dad screaming at me b/c I looked like a thief trying to break in. |
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