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t3_1befrn | AskReddit | Throwaway Here. I live in the UK and suspect my brother of growing & distributing weed. What do I do? | A few weeks ago a friend of a friend told my best friend that he got a "new batch" off my brother.
My best friend told me but he wasn't 100% if it was my brother.
Skip to a couple of days later and my brother bursts into my bedroom saying he is opening up a business with his ex girlfriends dad. I think nothing of it, so what. A little adventure... Then it sort of doesn't sit right. Him and his ex aren't exactly friendly anymore so why is her Dad wanting a business with my brother?
Skip to today. I'm asked to baby sit short notice by my brother and I accept. I go over and then they leave to different parties.
My girlfriend comes over who says she can smell something weird. I go up to the faint smell of weed and the sound of an induction fan. I try to open up the door to this room and it's locked. So I boost the mrs up onto my shoulder to peak through the glass above the door (luckily it wasn't blocked off) she says she can see what appears to be a black canvas/plastic looking wardrobe with a small fan on the ground and a box to next to it. Outside the door there is a bucket and watering jug.
It all hits me that my friend was right and my brother is growing/dealing this shit. This is made worse by the fact he is growing it in his family home a couple of doors down from where his son sleeps. Then the business thing sets in: he must be doing this to "clean money". Her Dad smokes enough of the shit why not grow it?! He's a shady cunt.
I'm really lost as of what to do. My girlfriend says to tell my mom but it'll really hurt her... I don't know what to do.
All i can think about is my nephew in that house and the possibility of the police kicking the door in could mean he would be put into care.
I don't know what the fuck to do. It's 5am here and It's rolling around my brain.
Please help me, Reddit. | My brother grows weed in the house his son (aged 4) lives in. I don't know what to do. |
t3_3yns89 | tifu | TIFU: By drunk Tindering | This actually happened over this past weekend. I was at home with a few friends drinking, playing cards (Spades) and what not. Still early in the night, friends left and roommate fell asleep on the couch. So it's me and the two dogs still up.
I get very bored watching watching East Bound and Down for the 2nd time in a row. (Literally finished season 4 and started s1e1 right after) So I decide to start messaging all the matches I've never messaged before in hopes someone wants to come over and spend some quality time together.
Not going the greatest as everyone is busy or just simpoly not interested. UNTIL...
Until my horny drunk ass remembers I matched a girl I went on a date with from POF... Cute in the face, but not so much elsewhere, and the fact she JUST turned 21 was a little unattractive as well. I'm 25 with a sister about to be 23.. Anyone younger than her is kind of too weird and I'm not interested. It's weird...
After the POF date I went home and we talked for a few days but i quickly phased out of contact with her until my drunk ass wanted to bang, ANYTHING.
I messaged her on Tinder and she replied surprisingly. I just said to her was "Wanna make love?"
"WHAT?"
"Make love!"
"Now? but I haven't talked to you in weeks..."
"Well if you want to partake, I'm totally game!"
She ends up coming over and we hang on the couch watching Boy Meets World and the we head to my room.
We make sexy time, which was cool at that time, but I end up staying up till 530am and growing sober.
After she left I could not stop thinking to myself "WTF you dumb ass. You really aren't interested at all and just wanted that P... You're a dick for leading this younger girl on so bad"
So now I have to re-phase myself away and hopefully not break her heart too bad. I'm a dick for using her... | Went on POF date. Wasn't too interested. Found and messaged her on Tinder. Banged. Still not interested |
t3_1dqdxm | relationships | In need of desperate advice with my depressed SO? | For the past week and a half, she has been really upset and crying for no reason. She literally told me that there is no reason but she feels like utter shit. She was been on the contraceptive pill for about a month which makes her hormones play up. Right now, i'm 2 days away from my finals in High School and I really can't deal with all this depressing shit right now. When she tells me that she is upset I can't do anything, I can't concentrate on anything let alone any of my preparation. What do I do, how can I tell her without sounding like a asshole to just basically STFU and go somewhere else with the problems.
Yes I know that it's one of my responsibilities to make sure that she is happy and all that but I can't deal with the added on stress that I already have because of these exams. What do I do?
I'm 17, she is 18 and we have been dating for 7 months! | My girlfriend is depressed as fuck right now but i'm worried about exams too much, I don't know what to do. |
t3_2zqz49 | relationships | My [27 M] colleague rejected me [33 F] and now it is awkward. Shall I talk to him? | Hi Reddit,
ok - a few months ago a new younger colleague joined my company. I think he is a great person and we got along really well, so I decided to ask him out. I did this discretely on a Friday by handing him a note with my number, as I knew he would be taken by surprise and did not want to put him on the spot.
I kind of knew he was not seeing me this way but it is so rare for me to meet people that I like that I decided to go for it so as to not regret not making a move later. I thought our office relationship was good enough so that things would not be weird in the office in case he would not take up my offer.
He said sorry he was dating someone casually (which I think was a way to not hurt my feelings but fair enough).
I am perfectly fine with that, but when I came back to work the following Monday I had planned to play it cool and not change the way I interact with him, but he looked quite angry at me (although it was maybe my imagination!) and it made me feel very awkward.
I didn't expect that reaction for sure, as he is quite laid back.. but I can understand how I made him feel uncomfortable.
It has been a few weeks now, and the awkward feeling has not gone... I really did not want that, I think maybe he sees I am insecure around him now and it makes him feel uncomfortable - or he just does not care and I think too much :)
So I am thinking of asking him for a quick chat, I just want to let him know that all is fine from my end, that I won't try anything silly again, and apologise if I made him angry. Is this a bad idea? Could it make things worst?
Have you ever felt angry at someone who asked you out? Or have you ignored someone you rejected to help them move on? (someone told me he could be doing that, I just have a hard time to believe it!) | I asked my colleague out, he said no. Now things are awkward and I would like to ask him for a little talk to let him know things are cool from my end. Bad idea? |
t3_1ut1gv | relationships | Me [25 M] with my Girlfriend [22 F] of 4 years, she recently found a job. Is losing motivation and self confidence to the point of wondering if she should quit the job. I'm going crazy while trying to motivate her. | She was unemployed for about half a year and she has little experience in her profession. Recently she found a GREAT job opportunity, where they are paying her around almost 5k USD a month (it's more than the average in my country, a pretty good salary for her age and experience).
This new job is different than her previous jobs, since now they are giving her the opportunity to work in an office and basically to be a supervisor in 4 months. I mean, it's not a dream job, but it's an awesome way to earn experience and she's been given an opportunity that few people have.
She's always been a very sensitive person, with low self esteem because of bullying in the past. She can't handle confrontations and whenever she has to talk about something serious that it's affecting her, she can't keep the tears away and starts crying. She loses her motivation very quickly and can't handle much pressure.
She started to work this Monday, so she's been learning the job for about 4 days and is already going crazy about how she can't do it, that she's too dumb to learn it, and that she keeps doing mistakes. I've told her that everyone is like that when they start a job they never done before, but she won't listen.
Right now, she's extremely unmotivated and is afraid that they are going to fire her or that she should quit. She's claiming that she's not good enough and that nobody understands her.
I've been trying to motivate her and making her understand that it's normal what she's going through, but she won't accept it.
What should I do? How can I motivate her? | Girlfriend is going crazy with her new job because of self esteem issues, I can't seem to motivate her and it's driving me crazy to hear her every day about how she's not good enough. |
t3_2qy54r | relationships | My [18/F] friend [19/F] is in an abusive relationship [19/M] of around 1(?) year. Please help! | Okay, so (fake names used) Jeremiah and Whitney get into arguments frequently and I'm worried about the severity of them.
**A rough summary:** At first, when they got into arguments it would result in shouting. Over time, this escalated to Jeremiah hitting/smashing furniture, making threats and violently shaking her and finally to him choking her or holding her in place as he punches. It has gotten to the point where she is literally covered head to toe in bruises, having to constantly cover them with clothing. He doesn't even acknowledge this as wrong behaviour - he only apologises after she has to convince him.
I have tried in the past to persuade Whitney to leave but, although she understands that it's bad, she doesn't think of it as abusive. In fact, she told me the only thing that bothers her is the restrictive clothing choices because of the constant need to cover the bruises up. Furthermore, she has mentioned multiple times that she does not want to leave the relationship; she does not see herself moving on unless he does something like cheat on her.
If you have any suggestions on how to go about this, that would be more than appreciated. | My friend doubts that she is in an abusive relationship, but I am convinced that she is. If you have any suggestions or ideas or anything at all please say because I just want for her to be safe. |
t3_31w13q | relationships | Me [20 M] with my girlfriend [19 F] of 2 years, she has been diagnosed with depression and I feel locked into the relationship | I have been dating my girlfriend for 2 years now, we have had troubles like every relationship, but she has never really been open with me. This has put a huge strain on me as I feel like i'm opening my heart to her and she's still not letting me in, no matter how hard I try.
I've thought about ending the relationship before but always kept a positive output and it has worked out in the past. I've always known that my girlfriend has had problems with being away from family and stress from work but I never knew how bad it was until now. She has self harmed in the past but always told me it was over something minor and would get annoyed at me when I ask her to be open with me, as talking to others has helped me through dark times in the past I thought it would help, but it just pushed her further away. She came to me this week and told me she had gone to the doctors, she has been diagnosed with severe depression.
I feel scared. I worry that any time i express a problem to her it will send her into a spiral of unhappiness. I feel trapped with my own emotions now because I don't want to upset her, I just want to make her happy. But now it is affecting my happiness.
I had been strongly considering ending the relationship because I'm not really happy, it just feels like the relationship is there, floating around without it being exciting or something to look forward to. But now she's been diagnosed with depression I feel scared to carry out what I feel best for me because I know how much it will affect her, she told me that I'm the only thing in her life that makes her happy. It will crush her if I leave her, but it's slowly crushing me if I stay. I don't know what to do. | Girlfriend has been diagnosed with severe depression, feel locked into the relationship despite feeling like ending it is the best for me. |
t3_4w8lh7 | relationships | How much should I [22/f] reasonably be able to read before it starts bothering people? | I started reading when I was 6 and haven't stopped ever since. I would read during breaks at school, because I liked to and because I didn't really have friends. Later on, in High School, I did have friends but often chose to read instead.
Teachers were always calling my parents about how much I read and sometimes made a rule that I wasn't allowed to read during lunch break three days a week or something because I had to 'play' with other children.
Then, about 5 years ago I got a smartphone and did a lot of my reading on that (Ebooks, Internet, PDFs) and suddenly my dad and my grandparents started complaining about me 'always being on my phone'.
My husband gets upset that I read too much as well. He always wants to do stuff together, and it's not enough that we watch shows together, go on dates and that I sleep on his shoulder every night.
I feel really smothered. Ideally I'd like to be able to read for three hours on weekends and maybe 1.5 on weekdays, but I feel like people always complain about it so I sneak out to read. Sometimes I just go sit on the toilet to read and pretend I'm doing something else. My husband hasn't cooked a single dish in his life so I pretend that cooking is a lengthy process so that I can read in the kitchen every night. I read on the bus to work (1 hour commute) and when I walk to class (20 minutes). But I wanna hang out on the couch and read.
I guess my question is: how much should I be able to read? I do t think that there's anything wrong with having a hobby. I don't get upset with people for playing videogames or watching tv so why can't I just read? But then maybe I'm missing something? | I read a lot, which bothers people. How much should I be able to read and when should I do it? |
t3_1dad04 | AskReddit | Do you think that Reddit should set a cap for how many accounts can be created from one IP address? | I'm not sure how many of you have experienced this, but I know that some of us have been plagued by trolls following us around Reddit and/or stirring up trouble in the subreddits we moderate (I've experienced both). It can be separate individuals, but oftentimes it can be one person with multiple accounts. I've had multiple accounts troll me across Reddit before with every one of the usernames being some bastardization of my username, which more than likely means that it was the same guy making a bunch of accounts from the safety of his mother's basement after his last account was banned.
As an afterthought, should subreddits be able to ban individual IP addresses, nit just users, for the previously-addressed issues? | Should Reddit limit how many accounts an IP address can make? It would keep banned people from making multiple account to continue trolling subreddits from where they're banned, and it would keep one person from making multiple accounts to follow you around Reddit. |
t3_1yrvwg | relationships | What to do? [22 F] friend of a friend all over me when drunk. What do I do now that morning has come (and I think I like her)? | Hi all! I am an inexperienced 21 year old college male looking for advice on how to proceed...
My best friend's girlfriend goes to a college not far away, and she has a friend I met one night at a small gathering. She has always said we'd get along, and I have a feeling they are hoping to set us up.
So I was invited to a party at the friend's girlfriend's. Prior to this I hear she mentioned me twice and called me "sweet", but nothing more. We don't talk much at the party...until she has a few too many drinks. I had to wake up early so I barely drank anything.
Next thing I know she's asking where I am, and asking to dance. Every moment she gets a chance she leans into me and touches me more. We dance, she asks about my family, etc. She told me how nice I am, and every time I went more than 5 feet away, she drunkenly called for me to return.
Being stone cold sober, I didn't want to make any moves on her, but I found myself falling more and more for her as we hung out. Problem is, it's now a few days later, and I'm not sure how to bridge the gap between drunken clinging and sober relationship building. I texted her the next day and insisted we hang out again "real soon" to show some interest, but so far don't know how to proceed.
I don't know how much she remembers, and I don't know if her drunken antics reveal a hidden interest in me (en vito verities, etc.). Add to that the fact that my friend's girlfriend is basically best friends with her, and that I have never been in a relationship before, and you have a recipe for a lot of anxiety on my part. | My two questions: Does a drunk girl being all over me indicate an interest while sober? And how do I navigate the complicated bridge between inebriation and sobriety when trying to date a girl I really like? |
t3_392ftp | relationships | Me [33 M] with my father [70 M] nervous about calling to end an estrangement | I'm married with a small child. Tomorrow I have a call with my father to bury the hatchet and end a 1-year estrangement. Neither of us is a terrific communicator; I'd appreciate tips on making this a successful call.
My goal for the call is just to reestablish a functional relationship with my parents: holidays, news-sharing, and occasional visits.
History: about a year ago my parents made controversial decisions with an estate; without getting into the details, in the interest of money they decided to disregard some informal bequests and made some very unsentimental decisions that were devastating to some family friends. I felt a duty to rise to the defense of the family friends, and it was a very ugly year -- I haven't seen my parents in a year at this point. We were unable to change the outcome, and we've "lost the war" at this point -- the family friends who'd been wronged have moved on, and the extended family who'd initially sided with me have capitulated. The last six months has been little little more than an emotionally destructive back-and-forth with my father, without much purpose.
My father is old and unhealthy and I have a young child who misses her grandparents; the dispute cost us a lot of time we won't get back. I left my father a quick voicemail on Friday indicating that I was no longer arguing. He left me a voicemail today that he wanted to discuss reuniting our families.
I'll need to call him back and have a discussion. I still think what he did was reprehensible; I don't think he expects an apology. I just want to re-establish a working relationship that lets my child spend some time with his grandparents and relieves the tension from my extended family.
I'd appreciate advice on how to approach this conversation. | Need to have a conversation with my father that ends our estrangement without bickering about who was right or wrong. |
t3_4cyzz9 | relationships | I (19 F) need to have a talk with my friend (20 M), not sure what to say | So I wrote about this before, but the situation changed a bit so I'm gonna give it another try.
At the start of college I started hanging out (mostly at the college during lunch etc) with a small group of people. Among them was the guy in question. He was always kinda weird and over time I started to dislike him, while he seemed to take a liking to me. I started acting a bit cold towards him thinking he would get the hint and back off a bit, but it didn't really work. Later I found out he has Asperger's syndrome and while that did explain his behaviour, it didn't really make it better.
Then I met a different group of people who I got along with way better. I thought that I could just start hanging out with them more, so that I only saw the guy occasionally. But he noticed that I was kinda avoiding him (I'm a coward). And asked me if we could talk about how I feel towards him (if I dislike him or not), because he thought I was acting kind of "bipolar" towards him (not the word he used).
I agreed to the talk, but haven't said when yet. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO SAY TO HIM. We have mutual friends so I can't break of the friendship entirely. I don't want to tell him that I don't like him, since he's already pretty insecure. He said he's been so stressed lately that he can't sleep, so it feels as if I'm partially responsible for his mental health which I hate.
So I've been putting off this talk for a few weeks now (I'm a HUGE coward and I'm not proud). Then this week he put a birthday gift in my bag. No name, no note, but I could have only come from him (it's a kinda weird gift and something only he could have had). Do I comment on it? Do I return it? Most people around here don't give their friends gifts on their birthday, only at parties, so it's not really the norm. | I need to have a talk with a guy about our fiendship, but I have no idea what to tell him. |
t3_3nmh05 | tifu | TIFU by humping the air whilst alone and not knowing my teacher was behind me. | This actually happened when I was in Primary School (I'm from the UK this means elementary). Okay so school had finished and I was heading to the reception were I would wait to be collected by one of my parents because they were always late for one reason or another so I could never wait with the others kids. Anyway back to the story, on my way to reception I have to pass through the schools gym/hall. At this point in my life I was curious about sex and would often just randomly start humping the air pretending I was having sex I guess? Well this one time I was walking through to reception when I thought I was alone so I did my "thing" and started to hump the air, shortly to hear "That's a nice dance OP" I turn around and it's my teacher, somehow I didn't hear her behind me, I didn't say anything but I'm sure my face resembled a baboons ass. It never did get any less awkward for me for the rest of my school year. | I humped the air in front of my school teacher without knowing she was there, never looked at her the same again. |
t3_fs0r4 | AskReddit | Some old creep posted a dirty missed connection for the girl I'm seeing... a missed connection from WHILE I was on a date with her. How do I troll this guy? | I was hoping reddit might be able to offer me some advice here. First, a little background:
I met a wonderful, beautiful girl through reddit. For real. Everything is going better than either of us imagined at the outset, and we see each other as regularly as we can. So last weekend we went out to a pub downtown. We were there for less than an hour and we sat together the entire time.
This girl is strikingly hot, and naturally a lot of guys look at her, which is fine. What's not fine is what happened a couple days later: her friend emailed her a link to a missed connection post on craigslist that was very clearly directed at her. It described her appearance in detail, offered a "hot encounter," professed this guy's attraction to "women like [her]," and even acknowledged that she was with another guy at the pub.
Neither of us is threatened by this but she's a little creeped out and I'm offended. More than that, I feel a strong possibility of trollage here. I set up a fake email address, responded to his ad as 'the girl' and got his name and email address. He's acknowledged being much older (she's mid-20s) and wants to do dirty things to my girl (my reddit girlfriend!) with no strings attached. It sounds like he's married.
Reddit, I put my faith in you. I can't blow a load in his face cream, so how should I handle this situation? I don't want to do anything really harmful but the guy deserves some kind of prank. Help me out. | Need reddit's advice to troll a dirty old man who mc'd a girl I was on a date with, will post updates. |
t3_3dsrzl | relationships | I [23M] am a bit hypersensitive and take everything my girlfriend [23F] says personally. | So I have a bit of a problem here folks. I've been with my lady a couple months now and things couldn't be better.
The one thing that appears to be a recurring issue is my inability to take her at her word that she's not secretly upset with me.
I'll elaborate.
My wonderful girl has a terminal case of resting bitch face. (Her glasses don't help much either). To make matters worse I am an incredibly sensitive person who is easily affected by things such as tone and word choice. So naturally if she's tired, or hungry or sick I misinterpret the living hell of of it an fall into an anxiety spiral.
I ask her what's wrong.
She says nothing she's fine.
Just "fine"?
She says she's okay
I don't believe her on account of the visual and audio cues I'm receiving and continue to press which only leads to making her actually upset (which she wasn't before).
Now, I intellectually understand she's not upset it's just that circumstance and natural disposition are mucking up my interpretation of her words/actions; especially at this point since we've had a couple discussions about it. But despite trying to mentally muscle my way out of it I get this awful knot in my chest that all but forces me to pry even further.
Everything is going so well aside from that. And while she's patient and extremely tolerant of it now, I know damn well that's not going to last long and I sincerely want to get better. | I'm super sensitive and take things my girlfriend says sometimes personally despite knowledge and proof that it has nothing to do with me. |
t3_13rlhi | relationships | I [m27] don't want to be friends with the girl [f24] after being dumped. Is that normal/unreasonable? | Was in a one year LDR and was just dumped yesterday. The relationship was mostly great and we dealt with the distance pretty well. Made plans for the future and often talked about getting married and having a baby even. Always honest with each other and when we fought we always talked it out within an hour.
Friday she told me sort of out of the blue that she wants to see other people but remain friends. I felt my world caving in. She said I love her more than she loves me. I can't handle the idea of seeing her with another guy after all we've been through. I feel really hurt and discarded. I think that she knows me well enough to understand why I can't deal with being just friends. Am I being unreasonable by breaking off communication entirely for my own good? | great relationship although long distance, girl breaks it off suddenly. I'm devastated and don't want to remain friends with her. Is this perfectly ok? |
t3_36jikk | relationships | [update] Me [29m] am an overweight, bald, and hairy man who has never dated. What do I do? | original here:
(note: I was banned from this sub for comments I made on other threads so I have to use this throwaway)
A bit of good news. I have a date tonight :) This is big news for me and I'm quite excited. She is extremely attractive and fun to be around. She doesn't care that I've lost my hair and thinks my weight is fine. Honestly, I'm surprised at her humility towards my appearance. I've always hated how I've looked but she either finds me attractive or just doesn't care. Either way, it's a refreshing change from all the negativity that has been in my head my entire life. Maybe I'm not the troll I thought I was? Maybe I've just been blind my entire life and all the self hate has prevented me from potential relationships with women?
Honestly I just got sick of living in doubt and just went for it. I also reduced the porn and masturbation so that probably helped as well. For these past 5 months I have been more charismatic and witty than ever. I was faking it in the beginning but eventually you mold yourself to be someone you are proud of.
In addition, I have begun to be pretty cool with another girl that works in the same building. She is also super attractive and fucking awesome all around. We have become relatively close as work buddies (she shares her food with me) so that's a plus. All of this is very positive for me and helping me drag some negativity out of my system. Thanks for all the advice guys | Have a date, getting along pretty well with women. I think a large part of it is my distorted view on reality |
t3_cig3k | AskReddit | What is the craziest scene that you have witnessed in public? | I've had a few. One comes to mind around Christmas about 01. I was heading into Wal-Mart. Its about 8:00pm, and a guy walks out of Wal-Mart carrying the biggest T.V. that one person could possibly carry. He gets across the cross walk to the parking lot, and a fat as hell security guard comes running out of Wal-Mart. He yells out, "Hey mother fucker stop!" EVERYONE stopped...except the guy with the T.V. He drops that bitch and starts booking it. T.V. hits the ground hard. Everyone else is just sort of froze watching all of it. Well the poor bastard's get away car got away without him. He was running after it , but it was getting the fuck out of Dodge. The T.V. guy cut across the parking lot diagonally, and caught the car by the adjacent Ruby Tuesdays. They escaped. The fat security guard had long since given up. | Saw a guy try to shoplift a tv, get thwarted by "Hey mother fucker stop." Guy got away. |
t3_2r5swe | relationships | The confused me[16M] kissed an overly attached guy[16M], who won't leave me alone. | I've been for a couple of years curious about same-sex relationships, but I've never labeled myself as bisexual or something. So, in this New Year's Eve, I was at party with somefriend and saw the opportunity to make it clear if I really had and attraction to males, and then I kissed this guy, and instantly regret it. I explained to him it was just a curiousity and I was not attracted to males and then apologized.
The thing is, after awkwardly not making contact until I left the party, he texted me saying how it felt like something he never had, and that really liked it, and that he missed me. I was kind of frightened and answered it that I was sorry, and there was nothing I could do and just wanted to forget what happened. It seemed that he got the point, but after the texting he started to snapchat me. A lot. Really. Like a lot.
I haven't opened any of his snaps because I don't want to send the wrong signal, but how do I make it clear that I, unfortunately, don't want anything with him and just want to forget it? I'm still to scared to send him texts or contact him.
(Sorry for any mistakes or typos, english is not my first language) | Was curious. Kissed a guy. Regret it. He got attached and won't leave me alone. I want to be alone. wat do? |
t3_1b31qf | tifu | TIFU by wishing someone "the happiest birthday possible" | Today I woke up super tired, like usual. I checked my phone for my semi-social life, and I had some notifications. One of them was wish this girl a happy birthday. Now it's these two girls that I talk to that are twins. I talk to one more than the other, but the other one I like. Now I asked the sister to wish the girl I liked "the happiest birthday possible". She seemed pretty OK with it, and she said that she replied "thank you". And from there on out, the usual conversations that we had continued. I showed her some pictures I found on Imgur, and some funny facebook pictures. So everything seemed good until I told her that R. Kelly lost his home in foreclosure. She never responded after that. However, she was checking her phone and responding to other people (The last seen feature on What's App). I was chatting with my best friend when he asked me if it was the twins birthday. Holy shit. That's right. They are twins. Which means they are born on the same day. Real smooth man. So I tried to explain to her (the girl that didn't respond) that I didn't realize that they had the same birthday. I apologized several times, but to no avail. It's been 9 hours since she hasn't responded, and the day is coming to an end. Maybe it'll be better by tomorrow, maybe not. But I really fucked up today... | I asked a twin to wish their sister a happy birthday, and didn't think about wishing the first twin a happy birthday |
t3_1y80xm | offmychest | The Circle of Fat | Stopped by a Carl's Jr. to grab lunch a few days ago. While waiting for my food I noticed a young boy walking up to the soda machine with a cup big enough that the kid had to use both hands to carry it and start filling it with Coke. The kid was 8 or 9 years old and noticeably overweight. He filled the cup and returned to a table where two woman (presumable the kid's older sisters or possibly mother and aunt) were sitting. And guess what? the two woman were overweight too! Surprise surprise. They were late twenties at the oldest and one must have been in excess of 350lbs. The other probably about 250lbs. Now being overweight and not taking care of yourself is one thing, but allowing your own child or young sibling to follow in your (huge) footsteps is something I cannot understand. I started thinking of all the things I've enjoyed doing from when I was a kid until now that I might not be able to do if I were overweight; Ride a bike, go hiking, ride roller coasters, play sports, etc. Not to mention all the health concerns that come along with obesity. And here these family members are at Carl's Jr stuffing themselves and this kid with hamburgers and sugar water. Obviously these two women never learned to take care of their bodies and, as such, they are clearly incapable of teaching this kid to do so either. This kid is rapidly loosing his chance at a healthy and active life before he's even old enough to understand the consequences. | Witnessed overweight family members stuffing their overweight young sibling/ child with fast food. And so the circle of fat continues. |
t3_11d6ku | AskReddit | In regards to the upcoming election, what started the whole "smear campaign" tactics of just completely bashing the opposing candidate, and how is it "allowed?" | It obviously looks very bad for the person doing the smearing (aka, all the campaigning against Romney). Obviously, someone who doesn't approve of Romney's ideas does not need further convincing. But when did all the bashing and negative political ads begin, and why is that an allowed and acceptable way of advertising?
Personally, I think it is childish, immature, unprofessional, and aggravating, and really low. Now the other campaigner has to pay for another advertisement, or spend time in a speech, clearing up twisted information about the other. I just don't think it should be allowed. I'm getting so tired of hearing "When Mitt Romney dismissed thousdands of Americans for not pulling their weight, he attacked..." I just tune out the second I here that guy's voice and the "when" at the beginning of his sentence. I'm sick of hearing the Obama campaign bashing Romeny, even though I myself don't like Romney as a candidate.
That turned into something way longer than I intended it. | why is this whole smear campaigning, bashing each other in advertisements and such, an acceptable and practiced way of political advertising, and when did it start? I don't remember this happening 4 years ago. |
t3_2mlp2t | loseit | Trying to slim down but stuck at same weight... | I'm 20F, 6ft and 163 lbs. As a young teen, I was always skinny and could eat whatever I wanted, however, time and shitty catered meals at university have caught up with me and I've put on approximately 33lbs in 2 years. I realise this isn't massive but I'd prefer to get down to my previous weight and to maintain my weight, or at least stop gaining.
Over the last 3 months I've cut my portion size and improved my diet and I'm currently eating around 1700 calories a day. I exercise (swimming and running) around 3 times and week and generally I'm fit and active. I've gotten used to this change now, I'm not gaining any more but I've also not lost anything.
Problems I'm having;
-I occasionally binge eat when I'm stressed I'll eat a days worth of calories in chocolate at once. However, when averaged out over the month I've figured this only adds about 50 calories to each day. But is the act of binging all at once making this worse? Obviously I'm trying to stop...
-Very tight student budget is a drag. I prioritise fruit and veg and cook everything from scratch, but protein is difficult and I get more calories than I would like from carbs.
- I often feel pretty faint and sick when I start to feel hungry which is a a drag when studying and stops me feeling like doing exercise. I often turn to carbs to overcome this and give me boost of energy when I'm tired.
Any advice/anecdotes would be appreciated! Should I cut my calories further?
I think my goal is to lose about 20lbs because I was happy at this weight before, but really my aim is to slim down and lose some fat from my belly and thighs and would happily trade it for muscle. Obviously I don't want to lose a huge amount, but right now I've never lost any weight in my life and even after changing my diet/exercise I haven't even seen a small change! | Only trying to slim down, cut my calories quite a bit and upped my exercise for 3 months, but still no change my weight. |
t3_2nmzcw | relationship_advice | Need help, not sure if she's interested or it's just my imagination | Ok, so im 21/m and Ive liked this girl [19/f] from college for a very long time. A few months ago I had the chance to take the same courses than her, so I looked to get to know her a bit, and we've starting talking about classes and college related stuff, nothing special really.
Thing is I always hoped to maybe get to the next level with her. So that's what Ive been trying to do, tho I really suck at it. Still I always felt she kinda liked me and thought of me of a cool guy, she always sat next to me, maybe got a little bit goofy when I was around, she's pretty shy but I felt she kinda wasn't like that with me, as she tried to talk about random stuff, and she generally never engaged any conversation at all with other guys.
Ok a couple of weeks ago she gave me her number, and we've been texting pretty often. The other day she texted me late at night, and she told me her friends said they wanted to throw a party with me and my pals, and also that she had never been to one of those parties they make at our college, and that both of us should definitely go next time they throw one.
Sooo I'm guessing she's interested, cause it'd be pretty weird to say all that out of the blue. Oh and also she's from another town, that's 25 miles away, so getting together for a nightout isn't all that easy, as if we lived in the same place. Still I don't know what to think, cause I always felt she's too good for me, so I dont want to get all excited about it. | Girl I like texts me pretty often, she told me our groups of friends should throw a party together, she's from another town. Not sure if she's interested or just making random plans. |
t3_2dbtpo | tifu | TIFU by cleaning my fish tank filter | So today I had a massive amount of uni assignment work to do, so instead I decided to procrasta-clean. I'm talking some serious "top side of the fan" type cleaning.
As part of my cleaning I decided to clean the impeller and tubing on my fish tank filter. It's only small so I was washing it in my bathroom sink. Due to the small size of the components I used an old toothbrush to really get all up in the algae and fish poo, it's important to be thorough.
After my big day of cleaning and knowledge enhancement-ing I was preparing myself for bed in the usual manner, shower, fish feeding and lastly cleaning my teeth.
As I was standing reflecting on my productively unproductive day I pondered weather or not to go a spit and scrub for some super clean teeth. *What the heck I've got nowhere to be, why not clean them some more, after all its important to be thorough.* So I spat, curiously I noticed a somewhat greenish tinge to my toothpaste froth, my WHITE toothpaste. Suddenly in my mortified reflection I see I am in fact holding my algae/fishpoo cleaning toothbrush!. It would seem I wasn't so thorough after all. | Used an old toothbrush to clean algae and fish poo from my filter. Didn't put it away then accidentally cleaned my teeth with the same toothbrush. |
t3_2ekj15 | relationships | Me [20 F] with [24 M], just got diagnosed with another life changing disease. He already knows about the first one. | I'm having a bit of a freak out.
Just got diagnosed with celiac disease agree years of doctors telling me I was not possible. My test came back positive today. Compared to my other illness this one is not a huge deal but combined it's incredibly stressful and overwhelming.
I just started kinda dating a new guy and I'm really worried about how this will change things and even with other people as he and I have only gone out twice. He's really kind and nice, I could actually see something coming out of it.
I can't go out for dinner and have a bit of a walking disability and that doesn't let me walk for long periods of time.
He knows about most of my illness and is still talking to Me but I'm afraid this latest one will kill it all.
I wouldn't want to date someone as sick as me.
I am also worried because my last relationship ended over my illness. Granted I was MUCH sicker. I could not walk at all the. And was on 8 hours of iv a day.
But it's hard when you've previously gotten dumped and the guy says you're not even a real functioning person what am I suppose to do with you.
I'm just really freaked out I'm sorry if this is more of a rant..
Should I talk to him about it and tell him I understand if it's too much to deal with? I don't want him to feel like he can't not hang out with me cause I'm sick and people will think he's a prick. I would never ever tell anyone that and I understand why it's hard for people to be with people like me. | Diagonsed with celiac disease and have other major health problems. Worried that this will really change relationship and just dating in general. |
t3_2hgyjk | relationships | My [25 F] boyfriend [25 M] of 2.5 years posted a sweet birthday facebook status for my birthday. Or so I thought... | My boyfriend wrote a sweet birthday post (not just a wall post) about me on facebook, saying that I'm his best friend and that he loves me. I thought it was a very sweet gesture -- And I was slightly surprised that he was even a little bit mushy on facebook.
I thought it was a public post for all of his friends to see, and he didn't say anything to make me believe otherwise. He even asked me "Did you see my facebook post?" and made a comment at dinner about how surprised he was that no one liked it.
Then I looked at the post to comment on it, and it said that it wasn't shared with all of his friends--he set the privacy to "custom". I think he may have made it so only I can see it.
Now, I would normally would have no issue with that. I didn't even expect him to post anything on facebook because he got to wish me happy birthday in person. The issue I have is that he made me believe he made this public declaration of love to me on my birthday, even going so far as to complain that no one liked it.
I'm feeling a little hurt. It makes me feel like he is ashamed of me and doesn't want any traces of me on his facebook page.
Am I overreacting? Am I reading too much into this?
And should I say anything to him about it? | boyfriend said he made a public facebook post for my birthday, found out he made it private (possibly for only me to see). Should I say something about it? |
t3_12mxzs | AskReddit | Why is it considered getting "high" when taking street drugs, but not when taking drugs from a doctor? | I recently went in for a consultation with a gum doctor to get gum grafts due to thinning gums on my front teeth. I have serious problems with nervousness when it comes to anything surgical related, and after telling the surgeon this he said that he would be able to give me an "oral sedative". He claims this sedative will stop me from getting nervous or uncomfortable with things that previously set me off. After telling me this is said something along the lines of "it doesn't matter how high i get, i am still going to care about surgery going on in my mouth". He shot me a very dirty look and claimed that "it doesn't make you high". I didn't feel like arguing semantics with him but that comment really rubbed me the wrong way.
I guess im wondering at what point its considered getting high? I smoke a fair bit of weed and to me this "oral sedative" sounds pretty damn close to getting baked. | Its called getting high when taking "street" drugs, whats it called when taking a drug prescribed by a doctor that does the same thing as a street drug? |
t3_1yhrk8 | AskReddit | What is a good job for a deaf woman to apply for? | [Serious]
Back story: My mom hasn't worked for the better part of a decade due to mental illness problems; nothing serious, she had a problem with depression (which she sought help for), after my great-grandmother, who practically raised her, passed away. She's been looking for work for the past 4 (ish) years, and has yet to find a job, even with the assistance of a VR rep (vocational rehabilitation).
She worked for the NRPC (Navy Reserve Personnel Clinic) for 23 years as file clerk, mail clerk, and HR assistant, if that's any help.
Please help, reddit! My mom and I haven't had the best relationship since Maw - maw passed. Some was from me being an emotional teenager, some was from her going off the deep end trying to self medicate. But, I really want to try to help her get better and be happy, instead of spending all day cooped up inside the house. My dad and I work 50+ hours a week and are barely home. I give them money every check for help out with bills(house note, my dad's truck note, insurance, and groceries, whatever my dad chooses to use it for) and it's just enough to get by. Sorry for the sob story... I really didn't mean it, I just started typing and there it was. | Deaf mom hasn't worked in 10 years, needs help finding a job that would be good for a deaf woman who has file clerk experience. |
t3_1v5ytq | needadvice | I... need help. | My extreme social anxiety is getting the best of me.
By nature, I am an introvert. I just got new next door neighbors.(I live in a rented room with another right next door.)
I already hate them and don't even want to meet them. I just want to be left alone. I liked it when no one was there.
I am afraid I am becoming a hermit. I, just wow. I'm miserable when I pretend to be happy.
I've thought about offing myself plenty of times cuz I feel that no one cares about me. I'm estranged from my family, and have very few friends.
But everytime I get to the tipping point, slitting my wrists or drugging myself to death, something stops me.
I'm flat out miserable. I don't want to go on living life this way.
I feel like I have nothing to live for anymore. My so called job has went to shit. I'm within inches of being evicted due to being late on rent. I... am... miserable.
I just don't know anymore. No one told me being an adult would be like this. I hate it. I don't want to do this anymore. but i am trapped in a vicious cycle of being impoverished. 24 goddamn years old and working for $7.25/hr.
"Would you like plastic or paper?", "Would you like salt on those fries?"
In high school, I never imagined that would be me. But here I am. Miserable and imprisoned by working a minimum wage job. Most of my classmates my age(or close to it) are married and have kids and a stable job. Here I am, no GF, let alone wife. I'm wasting my life away being a loser. Sigh.
Bottom line? I'm a failure at life. | I'm miserable. In part, I have no one to blame but myself, and don't know how to change it... |
t3_3go56o | relationships | How do I (16F) deal with my "Meninist" brother (19m)? Ignoring isn't working. | Hi everyone.
My parents are great people. They did their best to raise all 5 of us right, and for the most part I get along with my siblings. But I have one brother, Gordon, who, thanks to the internet and male friends, has become a hardcore "meninist", and very sexist.
For example, today I mentioned to my mom that I wouldn't feel comfortable delivering pizza late at night, especially considering I'm a girl. (It was just a passing remark)
My brother blew up. He said "why does it matter that you're a girl? Why should all guys feel safe?" I said they shouldn't necessarily, but being outside late at night is more dangerous and uncomfortable for girls because of rape and sexual harassment. I tried to explain that guys could also be uncomfortable but, personally, FOR ME, being female would factor in to why I wouldn't like a job delivering pizza at night.
My brother started swearing and yelling at me. He said "why the fuck are you blaming all men for something not even a lot of people do? What the fuck? You've never even been raped, you have no idea how it feels unless you've been raped, which you haven't so you can't talk about this. I should he just as uncomfortable being a man as you are a woman. Being a woman doesn't give you an excuse to act like a fucking coward and be paranoid all the time for no good reason. You just think every man on the street's gonna rape you!"
I was flabbergasted!!! This happens a lot but never this... Bad. He also mentioned how women lie about rape all the time and that "99% of rape cases are lies" (ok sure....)
My mom got angry and punished him but I honestly do not know how I can live with this any longer. This is only one example of his sexism (he thinks he shouldn't and doesn't do chores because apparently that is a woman's job, it doesn't help that his girlfriend agrees...)
How do I deal with this? Should I just "get past" it? I'm worried about ignoring him because then he starts to get angry again.... Please help. | brother is a meninist, gets mad at me for small remarks, doesn't believe in gender equality and thinks men need more rights. I have trouble being around him, it makes me uncomfortable |
t3_15pht6 | relationships | How do I [M19] help my girlfriend [F18] with her anxiety issues? | I've been dating my girlfriend for 3 months now. She's a very shy girl, and I'm her first boyfriend. About a month into the relationship, I tried to move in a kiss her goodbye. I ended up kissing the top of her head (on accident, she didn't move her head to dodge me), and she subsequently said goodbye and left. I assumed she didn't feel anything. The next day, I ask her if she wants to see a movie. She hastily tells me she can't, and hangs up.
Later that day, I call her again and ask her if she's feeling all right. She tells me the reason she freaked out is because she noticed I was trying to kiss her, and that she has severe anxiety and doesn't feel ready to get more intimate yet. I told her I understand, and I'll be more patient.
Like I said, it's been 3 months now and she's still anxious to get more intimate. I've talked to her about it recently, and she says she's doing the best she can for me. How can I make her feel more comfortable with getting intimate? I don't want to pressure her or anything, but I don't want her to be so anxious either, because it's frustrating her as well. What can I do? | girlfriend of 3 months has anxiety related to getting intimate, we haven't even kissed yet, how can I make her more comfortable? |
t3_m6pj8 | relationships | Moving in with a good friend of mine, afraid if we have sex might lead to some bummer times. | (18/M)
I'm moving up to Portland to go to school and I'm moving in with a great friend of mine (18/F) that has lived there for a few months. She was gay for all of high school but now she is bisexual and has talked to me about sleeping with a few guys. We havn't talked about it but I'm kinda afraid that once I move in eventually we'll end up having sex just to have sex. I mean, we'll be sharing the same bed everyday. I just don't know if I should say I WILL NOT HAVE SEX WITH MY BEST FRIEND. or if I should let things fall how they may and try to not let anything get out of hand emotionally. any advise is greatly appreciated! | moving in with best friend that used to be gay, now straight wondering if i I should avoid any kind of fwb type things or go for it. |
t3_1y6p04 | relationships | Me [25/F] with my boyfriend [24/M] of 8 months, he needs a break to deal with some rough stuff, I'm having trouble giving him space | Before I start, I need to explain that I have very very very bad (and currently being treated) anxiety disorder. I get scary, irrational thoughts in my head that I cannot control. This is especially true with my boyfriend because I love him and I worry about him.
Last week, after not talking for a few days, he told me he needed us to take a break. He's going through a really rough time and my heart breaks for him. I know that when he's having a hard time, he likes to be alone and deal with it himself. I know he just needs some time to get some stuff sorted out. The problem is that with my anxiety, I am SO worried about him. We're not talking right now because he said it would be easier for him, which I understand. I want to be there for him. I want to be supportive, but I think it's too much. Right now, my mind is clear, so I can understand this.
My mind is not always clear. It's often not. In the middle of a panic attack (I have several a day), I get very scared that this is not a break, but a break up. I become convinced that he hates me. That we're finished. I love him with everything I am, and the thought of not being with him anymore is LITERALLY killing me. When I get like this, I start sending him frantic messages. I go crazy. I get desperate. And I have to stop.
I'm treating my anxiety, but besides that, how do I give him his space when I miss him so much? How do I stop myself from texting him? I'm afraid that my actions while I'm panicking are not being respectful of his needs. | Boyfriend needs some time to work through some issues, how do I stop being a crazy clingy girlfriend and give him the space he needs? |
t3_102dfz | relationships | Me [18m] is having trouble deciding if i should break up with girlfriend of over a year [18f]...again | [UPDATE]
I did it. I broke it off again with her. it was horrible and i hated every second and i feel sick to my stomach. any advise to help get through this will help
Awhile ago, about 2-3 months, i posted on here asking for advice about whether or not i should break up with my girlfriend before my first semester of college started. My issues at the time was that i wanted a normal college experience of being single to meet new people and girls and that we had been fighting a lot lately anyways.
Everyone on here agreed that i should break up with her. It took awhile because i at first thought i should stay with her and that the temptations of college life wouldn't be that bad. I was wrong and decided that i wanted to be single.So we broke up.
It was rough the first couple days to go from talking to someone 24/7 about anything i wanted but i thought i could handle it. However the week was pretty rough being away from home and everything was so different that i kind of missed the normality of everything before college which included her.
I missed her or thought i did and had a big talk with her and explained how sorry i was and everything. She said she was still in love with me and said she would take me back.
Now heres my question. We've been back together for about 4 weeks now and i am starting to question if i actually missed her or just missed being with someone. I cant figure that out. Its hard letting go of her because she is the kind of girl a guy should date towards the end of college and settle down with because shes driven and smart and has a guarenteed future. However in my mind i want to date other woman first before i even think about getting married or anything? make sense? | Broke up with girlfriend so i could be single in college, thought i missed her so we got back together, now im doubting my choice of getting back together with her. |
t3_1mp26r | AskReddit | Am I too strict as a roommate? | I have a roommate, and this is his first time living outside of his parent's home. Lately I have been suffering his girlfriend coming over all the time, rent being late, and he isn't cleaning up as much as he should be. We've talked about it, and while things have improved *slightly* I decided to make this written argument as he seems a little unclear on the details from time to time, and apparently his girlfriend doesn't agree with my 'rules' (to which I could give two shits less, but apparently he listens to her). Figured I'd crowd-source an opinion on it, so please feel free to tell me how to run the apartment!
[Roommate Etiquette!]( | Roommate is making me feel like I'm a jerk- link is an argument I have made for what I think is fair, need opinions |
t3_3jtkr6 | relationships | I [M24] would like to become more comfortable with hookups; don't quite know how to go about that. | Hello!
I'm not currently in a relationship and haven't sexually inactive in over a year. Before that, I really wasn't very active either. It's become frustrating, but I'm not really comfortable with hooking up. Is there any way to feel more comfortable doing it?
Quick Stats on Me:
* Currently a medical student
* Still a virgin
* No major confidence worries
* Have had a few hook-ups in the past, none of which were particularly positive experiences for me.
I am a virgin, but I feel confident in my looks/social skills, I just don't think I've met someone that I've wanted to go all the way with. I feel like I'd prefer to be in a relationship, but with my school schedule, it'd really be difficult. I'd like to be more comfortable with hooking up because no sexual activity isn't enjoyable for me. I can be kind of aloof, but I'm not socially inept.
Main worries (I think):
* General discomfort (what if she's crazy, what if something goes wrong, etc.)
* STDs
* Becoming attached and wanting a relationship that I don't have time for
Do y'all think I should just not worry about it and just wait for a time where I could be in a relationship/try to fit dating into my schedule? Is this a silly question? I'm sure there are downsides to hooking up but no activity in bed wears on me sometimes. | I'm not trying to be a Cassanova, but I'd like to be more sexually active. Is there any way to become more comfortable with hooking up? |
t3_wm40i | BreakUps | Ex GF seems interested again, but I don't know if it's right to act upon it. | Hey /r/BreakUps! I need some of your advice! (This is an X-post from /r/Relationships, told to put it here)
Background: Ex[17F] and I[17,M] dated back in 9th grade (at the time we we're 14) for 9 months. I was a foolish 9th grader and ended up ending the relationship because of the lack of kissing that seemed all the rage then. Her close friend[17,F but 14 at the time] started hitting on me and dropping subtle hints that she would like to get together, so we did. Obviously Ex did not like this and disliked good friend for 4-5 months and myself 7 months.
Now onto the fun stuff. So fast forward past those 7 months, Ex has cooled down, we start talking again and we have no intention of getting back together. We're just becoming friends for the second time in a sense. As time goes on I start to have feelings for her again but I shoved them away for the sake of saving our friendship.
Shortly after we started talking again, she found a guy and they dated for around a year. For reasons unknown to me and many of my friends they broke up. And once again we connected again, but I wasn't sure so I threw all my feelings to the side to keep the friendship going.
After a year of just being friends and what not she started inviting me to hangout with her a lot, and I've started inviting her to more outings with my friends and she always agrees. In addition when she or I show up to one of those invites we're always sticking together for the entire day/night. And if we end up watching a movie she always puts her legs across my lap or rests her on my shoulder/lap.
Just a few basic questions:
1. Do Ex's normally do this stuff just because they had a previous relationship with that person making them more comfortable with that person?
2. Is there a possibility she's interested again or am I just throwing random things together here?
3. Should I just push my feelings away again to prevent ruining our friendship? | I'd like to get back with Ex GF but not sure if she's up for it/ interested. I could also just be weird. |
t3_lpd52 | AskReddit | Should I tell this girl's parents that this girl is full of life-threatening issues? | So, I've known this girl for a while. She, like all people, has a heart, feelings, autonomy, etc. all of which I shouldn't fuck with. That being said, here's her problems:
She's bulemic. She's severely depressed. She abuses drugs daily(last count: opiates, amphetamines, benzos, pot, alcohol). She engages in casual sex with people she barely knows and has a model mayhem website full of nudes. She says the sex and the modelling make her feel better about her self-image. Meanwhile, her parents are so Christian, I don't know whether that revelation would incite a heart-attack or a homicide(they think her to be a virgin). Which brings me to another point, that she's a compulsive liar, and admits to lying on a daily basis to everyone she knows, often for no apparent purpose.
I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who knows about all of this. Some of her friends/family know a piece of it here or there, but not the full blown web of issues. I'm worried that if she keeps hurting herself and engaging in risky behavior, that something horrible will happen to her, and if anything ever did happen, then I would feel guilty as someone who could have possibly prevented it. But if I tell her parents, I'm setting sail on a whole ocean of stormy seas for both her, her family, her friends, and myself. I'd especially prefer to keep myself out of the drama, but I do want to get her help! So, what do I do?! | Bulemic, depressed, drug-addicted friend keeps engaging in super-risky behavior. Should I tell her parents? |
t3_wjiqw | dating_advice | One week stand or could it be more? | Has anyone ever done something like this? This guy I have a thing for that I've only met once (over a couple days on vacation) is coming to my town for freelance work, and I offered to let him stay with me to save on costs. I've got an extra bedroom so it wasn't a direct come-on for a sexcation, but the one time we met, our chemistry was undeniable and he kissed me, right before I left for my flight. We've been flirting pretty heavily ever since. For reference, he's 26 and I'm 22(F) and we live about a 5 hour plane ride apart, though that could easily change within a few years because we're both big travelers/not tied to our cities.
At this point, it could go either way, but I highly doubt he'll actually use that extra bedroom... I can't stop thinking about being with him, but it scares me to think it might just be a one week stand and then I'll never hear from him again. It could be a while before we see each other again after that because I have a 9-month internship abroad, and in light of that it wouldn't hurt me if we slept with other people in the meantime, but I have really high hopes that we could continue whenever we're in the same city again. Maybe even eventually make it something real. I might be getting ahead of myself here but it's rare that I feel an all-consuming crush like this (the last was my last long term boyfriend who I truly believed was the one, until he started showing some true colours, but I'm over that one) and I really don't want to let it go as a casual weeklong hookup. I know he's a good guy because we met through a mutual friend. This friend though is quite the gossip though and we decided to keep it secret.
Has anyone got stories similar where this has worked, or any good advice? Or just tell me to cheer up if I'm being silly and get over this one? :( How can I entice him during the week we'll be together so he doesn't write me off as soon as he gets home? Or should I just let myself have a really sexy week living in the moment and then forget about him? | Should I settle for a weeklong hookup with a guy I'm crazy about and then let it go, even though I haven't felt this way about anyone in years? |
t3_4xwtjm | askwomenadvice | Has anyone here ever developed romantic feelings for a good friend? | My (27F) friend (29M) and I met almost a decade ago. I have always had a deep respect for this person and have a genuine love for him. I didn't see this friend for a couple years while he was away and now he is back.
I never had feelings for him like this before, just in the last several months or so did I notice how apparent they are. I've already spent a good amount of time with him since he has been home and each time its a feeling of absolute calm that I rarely experience with anyone else.
My hunch is that this is reciprocated, but he isn't single. I don't want to say or do anything that would detriment his current relationship. I also don't know what to do with these emotions.
Any advice/stories/experiences of your own? | Have developed feelings for an old friend but don't think it's a good time to act on them or say anything. How can I gracefully go through these emotions? |
t3_4cjexr | jobs | What to do with the future? | So I'm currently active duty in the USMC. My MOS (job title) is 2651 Special Intelligence Systems Administrator/Communicator. It's a very spread out IT centric field. Prior to that I did Networking, Server Management, and general IT for Hospitals and Radiology centers.
Basically my skill set is as follows:
Network Management, Domain Administrator, Radio Operator, Satellite Communications, and Security Specialist (physical security, information security, network security.)
I deployed last year and supported 70+ users over 3 different networks. My job was to manage our data shares, local SharePoint administrator/designer, maintaining our satellite communications and our video conferencing systems.
In garrison I support over 300 users across 3 networks. I also conduct training for all of our new joins to bring them up to speed. I also attend trainings to learn new systems to teach the rest of my shop how to use them.
I'm experienced in Active Directory, Group Policy, Exchange, SharePoint (as mentioned above), Cisco Routing and Switching, and general IT help desk procedures.
I'm Sec+ Certified, will probably be CCNA certified by the time I EAS, dabbled in some programming, and currently hold a TS\SCI clearance and will for about a year after getting out in October 2017. | I have 6 years of experience and various skills, should I try to get a job right away or go to school? Anyone out there looking for this kind of skill set? |
t3_2k8i46 | relationships | Me [20 M/F] I have no friends and... | i have no friends and have not been in relationship yet, just people on my contact list. i had no friends for for almost 7 years, not a "friendship" like connection to anyone yet.
and... Sometimes i think something is up with me. To deal with the lonelyness and sometimes stress and decision making, i have like a message board of voices, most of time i tell them to shut up but sometimes i need to reason with them.
But i always had a "message board" in my head, my imaginary friend and the belief that it was like i was in tv show or video game never really went away, I guess it had helped me lots of times to push myself.
Am kind of fidgety and shyish too, am trying to control any anxiety i have and think of it as excitement. At times i don't know how to start a conversation, sometimes i end them too quickly. I find am more of a response person.
At times talk I to myself, but that's normal right?
It takes me 1-3 hours to get ready to go outside, I admit i might have OCD, i always have to have some plan or routine, look good even when just picking up the mail, and tell things from begging to end in order.
Maybe that's why i have no friends, i have a standard for friendships, its not enough they call me now and then or say hi to me, you have call me at least once a week, we don't have to go out, just call me, cause I can withdraw at times, it will be nice for someone who could pull me out of that.
Even more for loving relationships, We have to go on dates like about five of them to really get to know each other, and you have to be "The one" i don't mind if the partner is controlling or protective. I still like my space though. | I think the reason i have no friends is because of high standards, anxiety and mental problems. People probably avoid me cause i seem crazy at first glace. Am I crazy? haha. |
t3_2olh06 | relationships | Me [49 M] seeking advice whether to take my girlfriend [19 F] of 18 months to my daughter's [24 F] wedding | I started seeing my current girlfriend about 18 months ago when she was 18. My wife of 27 years found out and it naturally led to nasty, expensive divorce. That's behind me and enjoying life, albeit it with exactly 67% less money.
My girlfriend and I are getting more serious and plan on moving in together in the next few months after some traveling abroad. My daughter is getting married soon. I am contributing half of the cost of a very, very expensive wedding (with my ex wife contributing the other half).
The issue of whether my girlfriend is going to attend the wedding will inevitably arise. Of course, my ex hates her and my daughter isn't too happy either. Do I let me daughter make the final decision as to whether my girlfriend attends? Does the fact I am paying for half of an expensive wedding make any difference?
My inclination is to simply tell my girlfriend its too much too soon for my ex wife and daughter and not even raise the issue with my daughter, but I know my girlfriend will view it as a slight. If the wedding was two years down the road, I would be more insistent, but it is happening this summer before anyone has come to terms with my relationship (assuming they ever will). | Ended a 27 year long marriage to be with my 18 year old girlfriend and wondering whether to take her to my daughter's wedding this summer. |
t3_3hb7ps | relationships | My [25 M] girlfriend [22 F] just moved in with this guy as I have to leave for four months, and I don't think our relationship will survive. | We've been together about a year and a half and we've done long-distance before at the beginning (skyping every day, "honeymoon phase" probably helped). We're both satisfied but now I have one semester of school left and she's staying in the city because she just got her dream job. The place we found is by far the best deal in the area, can't afford anywhere else. The snag is her new roommate.
She attributes our relationship to balancing each other out. We're actually strikingly different for such a happy couple, so we don't see eye to eye on many things but it works great and we love it! Then yesterday, we went took the new guy to dinner to get to know him, make sure he's not a creep, and my girlfriend will be safe. They "connected." They've read all the same books, listen to the same obscure music, the most worrisome part is that he understands her unique intuitive tendancies that she can't completely explain to me (clairsentience maybe? or social energy?), he feels the same things. She's already made mention to me in conversation about using him as an "emotional crutch" for when she gets lonely and depressed.
Now I'm not jealous of him personally, there are many different types of people and the world needs all of them to work. I'm happy with the role I play. But in terms of things to offer my girlfriend, I can't compete anymore: he's in the next room, I'm hours away. She wants to discuss a novel, he's already read it while I need to catch up. She has feels some kind of intuition, he talks about his very similar experience while I'm just reciting something about clinical psychology.
I'm leaving in four days. How can I overcome the geographic disadvantage and keep her from forgetting why she loves me? | As I'm preparing to leave for four months, my girlfriend "connected" to her new roommate. Will my absence make a relationship between them inevitable? |
t3_34p41j | relationships | Can me[24 M] and my ex [23 M] of 8 months, still be friends? | I'll try to keep this on the shorter side. About two months ago my ex broke up with me. He said he was feeling the urge to play the field and didn't want to be tied down right now. I give him credit for being civil and making a clean break instead of going behind my back and cheating. He originally proposed a sort of friends with benefits kind arrangement after the breakup, but I explained that is not what I want and that we need to cleanly break it off and just be friends. I was not very sad over the breakup, as we were not quite a perfect match. He has some very odd quirks, depression (he is properly medicated), and the sex as so boring (he's just really vanilla).
Fast forward to these last few weeks and I have just had weird feelings about the whole thing. He's extremely kind and we have a lot in common, so we have plenty of things to do as friends (food, events, mutual friends, plus moving to the same city after graduation), but every time I'm with him I can't stop thinking about who he might be hooking up with or if he is thinking about me.
I suppose one thing that could be making my feel weird too is that he still wants me to be there for him emotionally. His family are horrible people that he got away from, so he does not have too many people that are really close to him. He has lots of friends, but I can list on one hand (myself included) that would really help him if things really went south. While I truly feel for him, is that appropriate, all things considered?
**I don't want to get back together; It was just never that good.** I guess my question for you guys is: Can we really just be friends? Will my feelings finally calm down? It would be easier if I never wanted to see him again or hated him, but darn it he is such a pleasant human being. | Bf broke it off for the better. We want to be friends but right now I just feel awkward inside. Advice? |
t3_22z4p0 | tifu | TIFU by taking two pills of xanax instead of taking two pills of a stimulant. | **Prologue:** I spent pretty much all of thurs, friday, saturday gorging myself on the junkiest foods I could get my hand on and was in desperate need of some kind of work out cleanse my body of the havoc I had mercilessly put it through.
**Story:** I normally take an Rx'd dexedrine (an adderall like medicine) to help with ADHD, and then if needed I use xanax to come down from the post-dexedrine jitters to help me sleep.
Anyways, I was getting ready to embark on an ambitious two-hour work out session that would require my focus-lots of weights and cardio. So naturally, I'd be taking my usual dosage of dex. Not to mention, stimulants have the added bonus of being a bronchodilator.
However, I fucked up and instead took two pills of xanax which is like submerging your brain into a bubble bath while drinking a bottle of wine.
My workout was a complete disaster, I didn't realize what I had done until the xanax rapidly started drizzling over my brain. I pretty much lost my balance and started stumbling around the gym. When I tried to do the bench press, my arms felt like wet noodles, and I couldn't even press my starter weight.
For those who've tried Xanax, you know that it can hit you with munchies ten times more intense than any regular high. I was craving anything salty or sweet. So instead of getting in my MUCH needed work out, I packed it in, went home, gorged on some candies and roasted pecans (which tasted like pure mana from heaven) and passed out for 6 hours. | Badly needed a workout-but took the wrong meds before hand and ended up destroying my body with junk food and passing out. |
t3_29ptb0 | relationships | "Girlfriend" [20F] cheated on me [19m] - not sure if i should even be upset or not. | I got out of a one-year relationship in May, i met this girl at a party a month ago.
We opened up and told each other we liked each other. I still wasnt over my last relationship and she knew it. I would hate putting her in that position, knowing full well that i was only using her to replace who i just went out with. I didn't want to hurt this girl, i liked her.
We talked it over a lot, and i told her I would go out with her, but only, and only, if she was fully aware that i'd just be using her to get over my ex and that I had that corresponding emotional baggage. We explicitly and mutually agreed it wasnt just friends with benefits.
She was cool with it. We slept together, we hung out in the city on a weekly basis. it was a dumbed down relationship but i never had a problem with it. At times it felt more like FWB but we always called it a relationship.
She slept with someone else four weeks in. Crazy thing is, i dont really feel bad about it. Sure, i feel shitty, but i dont really feel... that bad. I was using her, we both knew it.
My questions here are: do i even really have reason to feel bad? It was a fucked up relationship, for sure, but did she have reason to cheat on me? Was it justified in the context of the relationship?
I say no, but given the strange nature of the whole thing, i'm not sure if im reacting appropriately or if she was acting inappropriately. I'm just confused and want a second opinion on the whole situation.
I'm not even sure if I shouldve done the whole thing in the first place. I'm wondering if it was fucked up of me to do it. I never had bad intentions, and made sure she knew what she was getting into, but that fact notwithstanding, i wonder if I was out of line. Again, a second opinion would be awesome right now. | entered a relationship* with a girl, she cheated on me a few weeks into it. I don't even feel bad. Am i reacting appropriately, was she out of line? Did i fuck up in going out with her? |
t3_oymkg | AskReddit | Dearest AskReddit: I'm putting together a collection of "Words to Live By" for my younger brothers; think you could help me out? | Without going into too much detail, there's not much of a father figure in my brothers' lives at home but I don't want them to miss out on that fatherly wisdom. I know how tough growing up can be without that guidance, so I've decided to try to make lemonade and do what I can for them in my own small way. As a twenty-something with admittedly limited wisdom, though, I've come to a sort of standstill.
.
This is where you guys come in! In the three short months since I've become a Redditor I've grown so much thanks to the collective knowledge we have here. That being said, if you'll have me, I'd like to pick your brains for whatever nuggets of wisdom you've either discovered or have had passed along to you.
__________________________________________________________________________________________
No special criteria or anything; quotes, stories, advice, etc. ... anything that you feel has had a positive impact on your life would be met with so much gratitude on my part. I plan on turning it into a small book for them and would be sure to include every last contributor in the credits (always cite your sources!).
___________________________________________________________________________________________ | It takes a village, and Reddit is one village I'd be happy to introduce my brothers to. It would be awesome to |
t3_yxsq6 | AskReddit | What acts of insane dog owner behaviour have you witnessed? I'll start . . . | It started like any other normal evening casually walking my two huge black bears, otherwise known as Newfoundlands, both on the lead at the local dog fields when a small White Westie Terrier wildly appears. It runs up to us, I assumed at the time to play, starts barking and growling. This tiny scrappy bundle of while fluff then proceeds to attack one of my dogs who is at least 10 times bigger drawing a torrent of blood from her mouth and hanging off one of her cheeks completely in the air. Her mother, my other dog was not having any of this and so floors the Terroriser using her mouth, only to pin her. Owner of said creature chooses this exact moment to show and completely flip out for the very reasonable fact that she believes her little savage of a baby is being eaten alive (well it was covered in blood and the sounds coming from the thing made it a logical conclusion). She manages to wrestle her 12 pounds of evil away and begins to hurl a long stream of profanities, most of which did't even make sense, at me. Calling me an irresponsible owner, a little girl like me shouldn't have these dogs (I am 19 but only 5ft) that my monsters should be put down, killed for massacring her beautiful little harmless pooch, that she was calling the police to have me arrested like the no good person I am. I patiently waited for a break in her speech to tell her it is my dogs blood and she should keep her little S**T on the lead if she couldn't control it. She called 999 and explained her story, when she hung up I said it was fine and we should wait for the police so I could show then the gashes to my dogs mouth and nose and that her's didn't have a mark (except all the blood). She then picks up her malevolent four legged bundle of hatred and kicks my dog square in the face before running off across the fields. Standing in slight shock I managed to clean my dog with some water and stop the bleeding before walking home. Never saw her again and it's a very small town. | Dog attacked my greatly larger dogs, owner thinks mine have killed her "malevolent four legged bundle of hatred" calls the police and kicks my Newfie in the face. |
t3_4496wj | dogs | [RIP] Suggestion for grieving owners | I just wanted to share something that, in hindsight, I'm really glad I did. It's been exactly one year since I had to let my baby go, and I still think of her and miss her every day. After she passed, I wrote down everything about her that I could think of, all her quirks, the tricks she knew, how she liked opening presents on Christmas, everything. I cried so much when writing it all down, but in a way, it was therapeutic.
I have the list in a notebook and I was recently re-reading my list and instead of crying, it made me smile. It's so nice to be able to revisit all my memories of her whenever I want, and not having to worry about forgetting anything. I never want to forget anything about Kobi, and this list is a great way to keep her memories with me forever.
[Pics of my baby!]( | write a list of everything your dog does that make you love them to help you grieve now, and to help keep memories fresh later |
t3_2uez0k | relationships | My cousin's [23 F] husband is cheating on her and she's preparing for divorce. What can I do to comfort her? | Sorry, this is really long.
My cousin and I were raised like sisters. Eventually I moved to Florida and she eloped to Arizona, got pregnant, and moved in with her mom in North Carolina. Her and her husband had a few problems, but were still together even though he stayed in AZ. Eventually they had another baby.
Her marriage was kind of brushed under the rug by our family. Our family is Muslim. Premarital sex is frowned upon, marrying a non-Muslim man is absolutely unacceptable. So no one really talks about her husband, but everyone loves her and her children. Personally, I don't care. It's her business. I think she should be with whoever she wants.
Anyway, it's been a little over five years since I last saw her before she was married with kids. I haven't really kept in touch with her. Occasional calls, texts, Facebook posts, but I never pried into her business. Now I heard from her a few days ago, and she tells me she's depressed. She didn't give me a lot of info, just that her husband was a loser. No career, no goals, not interested in pursuing any education, a bum. And that he was mean to her whenever things were looking good for him. I told her to cut him loose. She deserves someone way better than that. She told me she's planning to get a divorce. I have no idea how long it will take...
Her and I have been talking more for a few days. Today she finally tells me that he's been cheating on her. I can only imagine how heart broken and betrayed she must feel. But whenever I feel like I've made a mistake, the last thing I want is to be lectured about how everything will be okay in time. I don't know what I can say or do to help her feel better. She tells me she doesn't want to do anything but lay in bed and cry. She doesn't eat. Has to force herself to go to work and class. Her emotions are really crippling her. I just want her to be happy...
What is the best way I can comfort her? | My cousin's husband is cheating on her and they have 2 kids. I want to comfort her but don't know how. |
t3_3h8qoy | relationships | My crush/coworker [16 M] wants me [17 M] to ask a question I'm afraid to ask. I don't know what she wants me to say. | It's my first summer job and there's this girl I just really enjoy being with. We went for kebab and a walk one day.
Today I was at her home after watching a movie in a cinema (we cooked a meal and chilled a bit).
I'm gonna visit her in Tuesday and she will just tell me to ask that question 'I'm afraid to ask' she says.
I don't think I want to ask her if she wants to be in relationship with me, that's pretty dumb as we're working 4 days a week together (at mcdonalds with different hours).
On top of that I've never been with a girl and I was awkward as fuck for my whole life, probably due to being fat, anxious kid few years ago. | Girl I really like wants me to ask her a question she think I have but I'm too afraid to ask. What could that question be? |
t3_max8c | loseit | [NSV] I went "off the wagon" but managed to not gain weight... | I'll try to make this as short as possible.
I suffer from some mental illness and issues that has lead to a lifelong addiction to food. Food is exactly like the most addictive drug in the world to me. I have nearly eaten to death because of it.
In the past 2 years though I've managed to really turn things around mentally and in july of this year I decided I would do everything I could to reflect that physically as well.
I started going to the gym and discovered how painful and awful it was at 550 pounds. But I kept going, swimming a couple times a week.
I overhauled entirely the way I ate. Started using myfitness pal to track everything I ate. I found that doing this was actually very fitting to the addiction because It gave me more reason to think about food, what I was eating, why I was eating it, how much I had left to eat...
I manage to lose about 40 pounds in 12 weeks. Yay me :)
About a month ago things started changing in my life for the worse and I started reacting by relying on food again. I stopped counting calories and was eating 'much more' than I should be.
this last Wednesday I said to myself "Enough is enough" and stood on the scale for the first time in that month. I expected bad news. maybe half of my weight lost would have returned.
Nope, I'd lost a pound.
Turns out that my overhaul of food and increased activity allowed me to maintain even when I felt like I was out of control. The food choices I've learned to make are smaller portions and higher nutrition. I've learned to purchase the right things and keep them in the house. even if I overdo it, I'm doing it on much healtheir and lower calorie foods.
I'm eating smaller portions so even though I would eat a few extra snacks, on some days an extra meal, it was difficult for my body to add weight.
I have more muscle which would have helped increase my BMR as well. | after losing 40 pounds and changing the way i eat and exercise, even when I spent a month off of the wagon due to being an insane food addict, i didnt gain weight. |
t3_1xaz0m | offmychest | My girlfriend won't tell me about her bad day yesterday | I'm very upset about this. She's never not told me about her bad days before, and yesterday she was barely talking to me because her day was so bad. I know it was nothing I did, because she did tell me as much. But now she absolutely refuses to tell me anything about it. I'm so annoyed and hurt by this, because I've always told her everything about my bad days. Even my worst days. It hurts to not have that reciprocated.
At first I thought she just wanted a day to sulk about her bad day and I gave that to her. But now, one day later, she still refuses to tell me. I even told her why it was so important to me. I just feel bad about it because it's such a simple thing, you're supposed to share your feelings with your boyfriend after all! But she won't. She isn't one that is good at sharing her feelings, and so I'm not even asking for that, though I'd like that best. But she won't even tell me why it's a bad day.
Should I just let this go? Am I over-thinking this, or over-reacting? She did say that she didn't want to think about it. But surely arguing about it for an hour (over text) is worse than just saying what was wrong about it? I mean seriously, it doesn't seem like a big deal for her to just tell me this... | Girlfriend won't tell me why her day was bad, and I feel that she should because that's what couples do... |
t3_1xl6pm | relationships | Me [21 F] with my boyfriend [21M] 1 year duration, what are the questions we should be asking each other before things get more serious? | **The Relationship**
I've been dating and living with my current boyfriend for about a year. We're still young and both still in university so aren't planning on marriage/kids soon but have talked about doing these things at some point. We were best friends previously and since dating, we've never had a big fight. All issues have been resolved by some discussion like "I don't like it when you ___ because ____" "Ok sweetie, I'll be more mindful of that and try to stop in the future." At this point we don't have relationship problems.
**The Potential Issue**
A lot of the time I see couples breaking up over things and people will often comment "they really should have discussed that beforehand". Whether it's things like what religion to raise the kids in, what each party would do in case of an unwanted pregnancy, how comfortable each party is with the other using their phone, what is considered inappropriate by each party in terms of contact with ex-partners etc.
Neither one of us are religious so we don't have incompatibility issues there, we each only have one ex and neither of us really talk to our respective ex partners so no jealousy issues there, neither of us have a problem with the other one using our phones/laptops etc but at the same time neither one of us snoops.
But I'm sure there will be issues I haven't thought of yet where we may encounter some problems. So if possible I want to talk about things where other couples have had downfalls due to competing values/ideas/desires where having certain conversations early on may have prevented such issues or brought to light any deal-breaking incompatibilities before there are additional considerations such as children.
**The Question**
What are the questions that would be beneficial for a couple to ask each other and before what point should they be asked? | What specific conversations (future aspirations/morals and values/ boundaries etc.) should I be having with my partner while we're still young and haven't entered the marriage/children phase of life? |
t3_3yrq98 | relationships | [21M] Guy [19F] I am seeing screenshoted a picture but said it was an accident | So I sent a racy photo to a guy I've been out with a couple times [3 dates in 3 weeks of knowing each other] in response to some photos he sent and he screenshoted it. He said it was an accident and that he deleted it but I am having trouble believing that.
The photo was more clothes than I would wear to the beach so I don't understand why he would risk me knowing that he screenshot for a barley racy photo. So that's what prompting me to believe him a little.
How can I approach this topic with him without coming off as distrusting or rude. This was the first photo I've ever sent him and I won't be sending him anymore. | Sent a photo to a guy I'm dating and he says he accidentally took a screenshot. How can I approach this and make sure he deleted it without being rude. |
t3_2x61es | personalfinance | Friend got me a job 2 months ago, now another friend is offering me a better one. | Sorry if this isn't written as well as it could be. I'm having a bit of an anxiety attack :P
Two months ago I took a job as an engineer. A friend of mine who works at this new employer alerted me to the opening and put in a good word for me.
I also knew both the lead engineer and the boss professionally along with some of the engineers. After my buddy had gotten employed here several years back, my then-employer used my new employer for a big project.
Now I'm presented with a pretty big opportunity, but I'm stressing about really burning my friend after he stuck his neck out for me.
Previously, I was a systems administrator at a law firm. The IT manager retired and they decided to hire someone with existing management experience instead of myself. Seeing my advancement delayed for possibly years if I stayed put, I left and took this new job.
What I'm being offered is a CIO/IT Director position at a different law firm. I am friends with the existing CIO, and he is taking a new job with another company and reached out to me - basically offering it to me with management's approval. I already know everything I need to know for the CIO position in terms of technical knowledge.
My new/current job is paying me ~60k a year, and the offered position is 80k+, and looks much better on a resume (leadership experience, management experience, etc.)
The **obvious choice** is to go after the new opportunity, but how do I approach this? What can I do to avoid as much burning as possible?
Ugh. I need a drink. | Friend 1 got me job, friend 2 is offering me a much better job. Don't want to burn friend 1 if I take friend 2's offer. What do? |
t3_4d3hwd | relationships | Me [18M] with my friends [18M/F] who keep telling me to go prom. | So I've been asked multiple times in the past few months to go prom by these friends. And I kept denying them over and over again when finally I caved an just said yes. The problem is I really really regret it.
You see I don't really like these friends very much and I'm just riding out the year until I don't have to see them again. Because I'm not one to cause drama when there are only a few months left of school and now definitely isn't the time since finals are coming up. If I did hypothetically tell them I'm not going because I don't like them then they would probably alienate me and shun me when it comes to all our other friends. And people would wonder why I don't like them because they've been nice to me mostly but it's how they act (gossiping, hypocrisy, narcissism).
Now that I've already told them I'm going I need a reason that will let them down easy while causing the least bit of drama and warranting no questions. | have friends that kept asking me to go to prom, finally caved and said yes now regret it, need a reason not to go as i really do not admire these people |
t3_1adg2x | relationships | Fiance [26F] went to study abroad fell in love with another guy. Know I [26M] feel like horrible. | Hello, my fiance went to study abroad. As far as I know I am the only person she had ever had sex with and vice versa. We are both 26y old and has been together nearly 10 years.
Earlier this week she confessed to me that she was in love with this other guy. My reaction was really bad, I don't think I ever felt this horrible. I trusted her and let her go for 4 months, because I love her and knew it was something she always wanted to do.
Nothing physical has happened between them, but now my fiance is confused about her feelings for me. She says she does not wanna hurt me and still loves me. But feels very insecure about our relationship.
Myself I love her very much and said I appreciated her being honest to me. I said that if she wants to explore her feelings with the other guy, I am okay with it. But I told her don't expect me to be there for her afterwards if anything physical happens. Because I do not want to be second picked after a 10 year long relationship.
She says she does not wanna hurt me, so she has started to avoid him.
Do you guys think I have handled this situation right? Am I treating her fairly? I am trying to stay as calm and rational as I can. Even though it hurts so much inside.
She does not know how she feels about me now, and tells me to wait until she comes home and then she will know. | Fiance [26F] studies abroad fell in love with another guy. I [26M] have a rough time handling the situation |
t3_1ku213 | relationships | I'm [36M] just transitioning a long friendship into a relationship [33F] and worried about jealousy... | So we've known each other for years and after a year and a half friendship, we've started getting romantic. It's wonderful! I didn't think I'd feel like this again.
She's the kind of girl that is outgoing, big smile, very pretty, and friendly/flirtatious with guys. I'm the same. Her being flirtatious doesn't bother me on an intellectual level, but because of some events in past relationships, I have a feeling that it's going to be challenging for me this time.
I tend to go for the girls like this. I'm attracted to the girl who all the guys want. I've avoided girls like this in casual dating, but since we've been friends for so long and we communicate well, I'm giving it a shot.
My question is this - are there other people who like these sorts of SOs and what do you do to keep your insecurities in check? I consider myself a confident guy, dominant, and in control. My fears are based on women in my past who've gone too far with this sort of thing. | Falling in love with a casual flirter, looking for advice from other people who like being with casual flirters. |
t3_3xrbsm | relationships | Me [26M] with my first serious GF [28F], she's perfect except I'm losing attraction to her | We starting dating about 2 months before I unexpectedly moved to other side of the country. We kept talking over the phone every day and would visit each other. We did long distance for about 8 months until she got a job in my city. We live together now in a tiny place because she doesn't make much and we had to live together for her to afford living here.
We went from long distance to living together in a tiny room but we've gotten along great. We've never had a fight in the 5 months she's been here. She would be the one except I find my self losing attraction to her. Its vain but I think I will regret being with her later in life. But on the other hand beauty doesn't last anyway. I'm really torn on this one because she's so great to me.
I've never had a serious GF before her so I have no way to compare her to something else. She's incredibly nice and sweet to me. I can't imagine anyone loving me as much as she does but at 26 I feel like I'm too young to get married while she is ready. | Met a great girl, we did long distance for a while and now she moved here with me. I'm worried that I am losing my attraction to her and it will ruin our relationship longterm. |
t3_1j5lxp | dating_advice | 19[M] Need Advice | Alright so I turn 20 in January and I've only had one relationship, which lasted 7 months.
Recently (being the last few months) I went on a date with a girl from college and well.. clearly that didn't turn out well.
My problem, I think, is that:
1) I am an extremely nice guy. I listen a lot and am very shy around girls.
2) I over think things frequently.
3) I look way younger than I actually am, which I attribute to girls not taking me seriously in my attempts.
How do I go about asking a girl out? If looking younger than I am is the problem, how do I simply "ask a girl out"?
Secondary question: Is it creepy to ask a girl, who is working where you're doing (x) activity, out or for her number? | Shy, really nice, apparently look about 14 or 15 instead of 19, almost 20. How do I go about asking a girl out? |
t3_37pezw | legaladvice | Need Advice: Builder threatening to sue for bad Google+ review (Australia) | About a year and a half ago I met with a building, with my mother, to help her rebuild her home.
Not knowing about the industry, we had relied on the builder to provide advice to us as the "dual occupancy experts". After paying for them to do land surveys/bore holes and then agreeing to a design, we later found out that 1. the design was not realistic eg. corridors were 1m wide and 2. our local council did not allow us to build a dual occupancy on her land.
They told us we had to create a company and to see a lawyer to make this work. We asked for details, heard nothing back, and so decided to approach another builder.
In the end, we decided to go with another builder and have started with no issues. 7 months ago, I decided to leave a G+ review stating the above. Fast forward to today, I was told that they had seen the review and that it was considered defamation and had briefed a solicitor.
I'm assuming it's all a bluff to bully me into removing a negative review. I'm feeling like it's the big business bullying the consumer, so not sure what to do. Can they actually pursue legal action? | Left a bad G+ review after a bad experience with builder and was then threatened with legal action if I did not remove 7 months later. Not sure if this is legit under Australian law? |
t3_1joz6u | loseit | First update since my "fucking wake up call"... | So according to my last post [ in case you're bored and want to read that too ] it's been 25 days since I had a life altering conversation with my bf and realized I had to change my habits.
I'm positively delighted to say that I've lost a solid 15 lbs thus far and I'm SUPER-fucking proud of myself! I've got a long way to go, but *dammit* this feels good! (And as a happy bonus - both my and my bf's attitudes are greatly improved and we're getting along even better now.)
Also, I just have to throw this out there: If anyone reading this happened to have read my original post and/or commented on it, I NEED to say a huge '*Thank* you!'. I never got around to writing back to every last person -even though I really wanted to- but *every* comment meant so much to me and helped me a lot. I still fully intend on re-reading all of the comments whenever I need a boost- it still blows my mind that so many people were so kind and supportive. I've got a ways to go, but I know I can do it. (And progress pics WILL be posted eventually!) | Thanks to the support of my man-friend and the AWESOME people here on r/loseit, I've managed to lose 15 lbs in my first month of new eating habits. Wake up calls really can help!!!! |
t3_2fno4c | relationship_advice | Okay first date [25m] with [22f], unsure if I should continue. | This is the first date that I have been on in a long time **>5 years** so I am **extremely inexperienced** with dating. So assume I am a clueless cretin.
We had an okay(?) first date but I felt like we didn't really connect.
She is nice but I don't really feel attracted to her (*is this normal for a first date?*). She is boring, has *literally* no hobbies, and is a little hard to hear/understand sometimes, lives with parents. She is also overweight, so I think that I would be embarrassed to bring her in-front of my friends. **I do not have anything to really compare relationship-wise which is why I am asking for advice.**
I kissed her at the end of the date anyway (This was my first kiss so it was a fucking disaster lol.). I would feel bad saying no to a second date since she was nice, mentioned it multiple times. But I don't want to lead her on.
Any advice on what I should do should I do, am I being a bitch? Ask her on a 2nd date? | Went on a date for first time in >5 years. I am a clueless cretin. Not sure if I like her. Should I continue? |
t3_4c7sp8 | relationships | He [25 M] was toxic and drove me [22 F] insane, why do I still miss him? | I met him in my college class, and we agreed to be fuck buddies (yet there wasn't much fucking going on, I'd give him oral and he'd try to finger me then we'd both go on with our day). The short story of this is he was shady as fuck. The first 3 months were wonderful and great then came the last 4 and it was insane. He drove me up a wall and I started to question (to myself) if everything he told me was a lie or not but I didn't bring it up. Then, for some reason he just ended things and we parted ways and I haven't talked to him since then. Part of me wants to reach out again, but in all honesty whats the point? It was toxic and I wasn't happy. Sure I liked having company and someone to talk to but
1) Would I want to date someone who I thought was shady? Even be friends with them nonetheless
2) he a fuckboy | was fuck buddies with someone in one of my classes, the whole time it felt like an emotional roller coaster and when he ended things I was sad, but still 3 months later I get pangs of missing him. |
t3_16hoej | relationships | Hi reddit! Bf (19m) of 1 yr lost all feelings for me(20f). What do I do now? | Hi reddit! First post here! So recently my boyfriend woke up with no feelings for me at all. His only explanation is he emotionally was numb about everything and it was weird.
I talked to him about it, and about maybe seeing someone as he described it as being a mental thing. He told me he wanted us to stay friends. All of a sudden a week later, he's not responding to anything. I explained that I needed to know what was going on in his head (and whether the numbness was the only thing) to be able to move on and since then, nothing.
Should I be taking this as a hint that he doesn't want to be friends? I'm at a bit of a loss, we were very close and happy until this happened, and it's not like him to lie. | boyfriend woke up numb to how he felt about me, said he wanted to be friends, now isn't responding to anything. What's going on? |
t3_dsd6y | AskReddit | DAE think that most hip-hop is a good tune ruined by some idiot mumbling all over it? | Full disclosure: I'm whiter than casper the firendly ghost.
I have wide musical tastes and I do like some hip-hop, I'm particularly fond of jurassic five and busta rhymes (not exactly current, but hey). For the most part he seems to pay attention to whatever music he's rapping over and there's a certain rythmic quality to the way he does it.
However, so much hip hop I hear on the radio is just somebody talking in a stilted fashion, often with a silly voice (I'm looking at you eminem) over a tune that would otherwise be listenable and you could probably dance to.
Kayne west is a notable offender as a lot of the music he blethers over is actually pretty good but everything that comes out of his mouth just makes me change to a different station. P puff diddy dop daddy is also a prime example (does he still make "music" these days?)
There's so many more but I don't listen long enough to find out the names. Pretty much any hip hop that radio 1 plays. | is there any current hip-hop where the artists seem to be musically inclined rather than inarticulate muppets that just know how to press the "GO" button on a sampler? |
t3_20byt9 | personalfinance | 20 year old student with questions on setting up a Roth IRA | As the title says, I'm 20 and currently a part-time student at a city college. I work two part-time jobs (~15 hours at a restaurant and ~10 hours as tech support intern for the college). I have about $5000 in my checking account and no savings account.
I read that starting a Roth IRA at this age could be very beneficial in the long run. I could contribute 10% of my income a month to an IRA because I have a decent emergency fund and am currently living with my mom and don't pay rent. Would a Roth IRA be right for me? | 20, student, work 25 hours a week, have emergency fund, can contribute ~10%+ of income to Roth IRA, good decision? |
t3_2fa85d | legaladvice | Power of Attorney from Mom to Me? | The Players: Mom 85 (Arizona), Uncle 92 (California), and Me 55 (California)
Many years ago (~20) my uncle gave my mother power of attorney should he become incapacitated. Well, he has had dementia and was declared incompetent long ago so Mom has been making all his decisions regarding healthcare and finances. However, Mom has been verbally delegating those decisions to me, for example, the hospital will call Mom then call me to get approvals for medical treatment for my uncle. Mom doesn't want to make these decisions any longer -- she's old, tired and doesn't like getting 1am phone calls from the doctor. Is there a way to legally transfer her authority over my uncle to me? How? | Mom's old and can't care for my uncle anymore. How can she give me her power of attorney over my uncle? |
t3_tzj0w | AskReddit | My Family is spending an insurmountable amount of time and money trying to keep my half-dead 88 year old Grandmother alive and it's taking a toll on everyone. What can I say / do? | Before I start, I know that I almost sound like a heartless bastard here by even asking such a question, but it seems like I'm the only one in my family that is thinking rationally at this point in time.
Now don't get me wrong here, I love my Grandmother and I always have. The past year or so her health has deteriorated so poorly that she is essentially in a vegetative state and, as much as it hurts to say it; "useless". She will never be able to leave the nursing home that is currently putting my family debt and will certainly never be able to lead anything close to resembling a normal life. In the past few months, where her health became absolutely abysmal, we have resorted to spooning out the families life savings, and dipping into 401k's, just to keep up with her expenses. As much as I love my family and my Grandmother, all of this is making my absolutely sick to my stomach. Watching my family put such an effort both emotionally and financially to keep an essentially dead person alive makes absolutely no sense to me.
If this keeps up then we'll surely start losing more and more money out of our savings and it keep draining our energy on keeping up with her. Someone from the family, whether it be my mom, dad, aunt, etc; visits her every single day at least two times a day. Sometimes I just hope that she dies already, as atrocious as it sounds, just so that this burden can finally be lifted.
I feel like if I tell my family how I really feel then they will look at me like an absolute idiot and hate me for thinking like I do, but then again maybe someone feels the same sentiment within the family, I have no idea what to do. Seeing my parents have to exert so much time and effort in feeding her (because she will only eat our food), paying for her bills, and spending time with her all just really adds up to a big mess. | My family is putting themselves in debt and essentially wasting time in keeping my 90%-dead Grandmother alive and I just want to tell them to pull the plug and stop the nonsense. |
t3_m4kya | AskReddit | I need to know how to use the "Parts-Per Notation". Anyone know how? | So here's my dilemma. I got sick, and spent most of the day in bed. About an hour ago I had some weed, and started reading my store-brand cough & cold remedy bottle, wondering to myself what the active ingredient was. It turns out the one that makes you fall asleep is doxylamine, which is 6.25mg/15ml. There being 296mL in the bottle, we can assume 123.3mg of doxylamine in the entire bottle.
I found the fatal dosage was "50-50,000 mg/kg", and was not sure what this meant. I understand it is just parts-per notation, but I do not know how to convert between the two. So, does anyone out there know how? I know it's like 7:00 AM in the U.K. right now, anyone want some early morning math? | Lethal dose is 50-5,000 mg/kg. The bottle has 123 mg. Will it kill me? |
t3_27t3ol | relationships | Me [23 M] was with my girlfriend [23 F] for almost 4 years, recently dumped her because she hid me from her parents for all that time. | Im christian white (slightly atheist). I dont really practice religion or go to church. My (now ex) gf is muslim. Practices but isnt very religious as she doesnt wear hijab or any of that.
We met at university (same major) and hit it off right away.
We did everything together, helped each other at school and were together all the time in class. We were best friends.
Her mother who i think is a real piece of work doesnt agree with our relationship and has told her on numerous occasions "she should stick to her own kind" and "she should get a muslim boyfriend".
Now because we were away at college and both stayed on dorm, it was easy to see each other. But anytime she went back home to her parents house for college break we would barely talk or see each other. Simply because she insisted on hiding me. If i called her she would hide in the bathroom to talk to me or just ignore my call.
Whenever she was around her parents/family it was like she wasnt my girlfriend.
Every college break i would get frustrated and break up with her constantly feeling like the relationship isnt going anywhere and why hide someone you love you know.
When college would restart we would make up and be good again until the next break.
Fast forward four years, we are graduating and she still hasnt changed one bit. She still hides me and is afraid of her mother and is still trying to please everyone. I broke up with her because I really didnt see the relationship going anywhere.
Now, 8 months later, we still talk off and on. She insists she has changed and that she will stop hiding me?
Is it worth it giving it another try after being hidden so long?
It really hurt that she did this and it still does to this day. I constantly feel like i wasnt good enough. Im still in love with her and only stuck with her because i saw a future with her and i thought she was the perfect girl/wife material (besides the mother/religion problem)
Advice? Thoughts? | Muslim girlfriend hid me (christian white) from her parents while dating for 4 yrs. Dumped her. She said she has changed now and wants another chance. Advice? |
t3_o7aue | relationship_advice | Have I ruined a potential relationship by sleeping with his friend? | Me and this guy in my school (both 17) have a funny relationship. We started talking about a year ago, and since we've grown quite close. I started to 'like' like him about 6 months ago, but I still don't quite know whether he likes me back. The only emotion confessing we've done was drunk.
In an attempt to make him like me, and hopefully make a move, I convinced myself it would be a good idea to make him jealous. I've slept with 3 people since this point, and now this is like a drug. Every person I slept with took me a step further from him (he used to text me asking me what I'd done, and I would say I'd slept with [person x], we'd get into arguments about it). Then at new years I slept with one of his ex-close friends. We got into an argument and later said quite harshly that I was a 'slag' and we should ignore each other. And so we did.
And now I've come to realise the only thing worse than arguing is not speaking at all. I brought this upon myself, and now I feel foolish. | I slept with people to make him jealous and then slept with his friend. Now we're ignoring each other but I really like him. |
t3_16inpr | relationships | I [18m] made out with my friend's [18m] ex-girlfriend [18f] | Title says most of it. They dated for about a year (not sure if they had sex) and broke up about a year ago. I got out of a very serious 2.5 year relationship about 4 months ago, and have been pretty depressed ever since. The girl I loved and thought I had a future with told me out of nowhere she had no feelings for me at all anymore, and is now interested in someone else. I've had trouble getting out of bed, going to classes, finding work, eating, not constantly regretting everything I did in our relationship, etc. And near the peak of this, my friend's ex-girlfriend approached me and expressed a lot of interest in me, and for the first time in months I wasn't that sad anymore. I do have some feelings for her, but I'm still a little stuck on my ex. Her and I hung out a few times after she approached me, and yesterday it culminated in pretty heavy make out session. I imedietely regretted going along with it, because I value my friendship with him (about 10 years) way more than a boost in my happiness and a relationship with her. I feel like I really fucked up, and need to know the best way to tell him. | I made out with one of my friend's ex-girlfriend, and I don't know what to do about it. |
t3_1jwv2p | relationships | My Girlfriend (F/22) and I (M/23) had a big fight 2 days ago. Should I continue to wait for her to text/call me or should I do it first? | My girlfriend (F/22) and I(M/23) had a big fight on Monday. After every fight I have been the one to text/call her and begin mending things but this time I wanted to see if she would take the initiative and do it herself. Its been 2 days and nothing from her. Even though I am still a little upset I want to talk to her and start to talk to her about what we need to work on because I am tired of all the fights we have been getting into. So should I break down and text/call her? or continue to wait and see if she text/calls me?
(this is my first official relationship and I haven't been in this situation before with taking days off from contacting each other) | Had a big fight with my GF, its been 2 days of no contact, should I continue to wait and see if she contacts me first or should I just contact her? |
t3_139s3b | dogs | I did quite a disservice to a friend and their dogs, how can I make up for it? | Cross-posted from AskReddit...
I have a friend in production who was actually working Al Gore's Climate Reality 24 Hour program, and he asked me a few days ago if I could walk his dogs because the nature of the show required him to work from 4:30AM to 3:30PM. He said he was exploring his options, but on Tuesday I texted saying I'd be available for Thursday. I never heard back and assumed he didn't need me, and Wednesday night I got booked for freelance work the next day in the morning. An hour later he calls me to talk to me about walking his dogs the next day. Long story short, I cancelled on him when he was banking on me and literally he was about to go to bed at 9PM for a 4:30AM calltime. He got very upset, and I felt very bad for the dogs because I don't think he found an alternative that late and they might have stayed in their cage for a whole dozen-plus hours.
What's done is done, but what can I do to make it up to him? My non-dog-owner mind would say a lot of dog food, perhaps toys, but if you have any better insight I'd be obliged. | I pissed off a dog-owner friend and definitely made his dogs very uncomfortable for a day. How can I make it up to him? |
t3_ca9xk | relationship_advice | Tricky situation with a friend's girlfriend. | I'll try to keep this short, but first some background. I've had the same best friend since high school, we'll call him Bob. I've hung out at Bob's house frequently for the last few years, becoming fairly close with his whole family, including his brother and his brother's girlfriend. We'll call them Adam and Alice. Long story short, a few years ago Alice and I had a discrete friends with benefits relationship while she was dating Adam. We decided it was best to stop before anyone found out. Since then they've had a rocky relationship and just recently broke up. I'm sure they'll be back together soon (this stuff happens pretty frequently) but she's been rather flirtatious with me lately since the breakup. I honestly really like her and feel like I could make her happy, but of course this would be at the risk of burning a lot of bridges. I haven't talked to her about it, so I have no idea if she'd even be interested in a serious relationship with me. In general, I would usually wait at least a few months before pursuing a friend's ex-girlfriend but given the history here, I find it hard to resist for that long. Should I just talk to her about it in a straightforward way? I'm not sure how she'll react, I guess it could potentially ruin our friendship and my friendships with Bob/Adam. If I do talk to her and she accepts, should we be discrete or just come out in the open about it? I'm honestly not that great of friends with Adam and if he wants to cut ties with me over it, I wouldn't care that much. But losing Bob as a friend would cause a lot of problems. Is there a way to do this without anyone's feelings being hurt? | close friend and his gf recently broke up, I want to ask her out but risk being cut off from my circle of friends because of it. What do? |
t3_4in5zk | relationships | I [23/F] cheated on my husband [25/M]; he wants me back. But I don't know. | In the past year I've been constantly telling my husband how much I felt unloved by him. He had constantly ignored me, and shrugged it off as if I was just joking around with him. I mentioned many times about wanting a divorce but he never took it seriously. We have a 1 year old daughter together. And she means the world to me. So maybe that was part of the reason why I never pushed even more to end the relationship. I honestly felt as if he didn't love me anymore. He had been working 50+ hours at his workplace and was barely at home.
Anyways, about two months ago I started to talk to this guy online. It was friendly at first, but it started to get more intimate, emotionally. I fell asleep on the phone with this guy one night, and my husband walked in finding him on my phone. Things got bad pretty quickly. The next day he packed his stuff and left. He called me a day later, telling me he wanted to work things out with me because he couldn't see a life without me. That he didn't want to start his life over with anyone else and that all he wants was me. He took two weeks off of work to spend with me. And in the past two weeks, I have noticed he's been more caring. But if I'm really being honest, I just don't have the feelings for him anymore.
He wants us to work out so badly, he's overlooking the fact that I had been talking to another man. And I really am undeserving of that, besides the fact that I just don't feel the same way anymore. Right now, I feel like I'm just staying in the relationship for our daughter's sake. But is it wrong for me to not even give him a chance to try to fix things between us? | I cheated on my husband because I didn't feel loved. He wants me back, but I just don't love him anymore. I feel like I'm not even giving him a chance to make it work. Is it wrong? |
t3_2bc5a6 | relationships | Im [20M] not ready to be tied down so early to my [19F] GF. | I'll make it short. I've been with my gf for almost 3 years now. The issue is that she wants to get married, we've been together since high school and her parents were together since highschool so I can see where this is coming from.
I was on the same page with her in highschool however Now I've realized that this isn't what I want. To be honest I've developed feelings for a co worker and I'm not sure what to do. I know I need to be honest and tell her that's probably my best bet.
I ts just that she is very emotional and I feel bad. I push my feelings to the side a lot because I don't want to hurt her. However I'm not happy and I don't want to linger on anymore. I'm just afraid of hurting her.
She's on vacation right now and I'm not sure if I should wait or tell her now. Any advice would be appreciated thanks. | not ready to be tied down, developed feelings for someone else. Afraid of hurting her and she's on vacation. |
t3_2au2mi | relationship_advice | [19/F&M] He cheated in the beginning of our relationship and is devastated, I can't move past it. | My boyfriend revealed to me a few nights ago that he cheated one night when we first started dating back in May. We'd been sleeping together casually a few months prior, but there was no one else involved on either end. He was in tears the entire time he told me about it, saying that I deserve better and he'd understand if I left. I let it slide, and have no intentions of leaving. He swore that it wouldn't happen again and I truly want to believe him but I just can't get myself over it. I want to move past this and be happy with him but we've talked about how it upsets me every night since then. He's offered to show me his texts and social media messages, but I know that they won't help me get past this. Part of the reason that it's got me so worked up is that we've been essentially living together since we started dating and I hate the thought that he was with someone and then slept with me in my bed a few nights afterwards. I just don't know how to forgive/trust him again. | I don't want to break up with my boyfriend, though he cheated. I just don't know how to get over it. |
t3_2ji11b | relationships | Still have feelings for my [20M] best friend/ex [19F], but she's found someone else. Don't know what to do. | To give a little context..
Ex and I broke up couple months ago. We dated for about 3 and a half years and ended it on sudden terms (long distance). After a couple weeks, she found someone else, but was constantly having discrepancies with her new boyfriend. I've stuck by her side all this time to help her through everything she needs since we've been best friends for even longer than we dated. It's eating my alive living every day knowing that she feels for someone else when I still feel so strongly for her, but I feel like I can't just turn my back on her and walk away because I'm her main and most reliable support line.. what do I do.. I am at my emotional limit. | Still have feelings for girl I dated for 3.5 yrs. she has new boyfriend. I'm still her best friend. Want to move on but I don't feel like I can turn and walk away from her. |
t3_37vgmt | relationships | [Relationships] I [21M] just had my 21st birthday party and people who I thought were good friends didn't show | About 60 people said they were attending and posted there addresses for invites, 40 odd turned up. Some had bullshit excuses like assignments even though I gave them 4 weeks notice, another told me she couldn't get a lift when really she was on a tinder date.
Then I had close friends that came late and didn't even give me a card. The party cost a lot of money and me and my family spent so much time and energy organising it. I always go to the effort and give gifts and write a card. I just felt like this was that one day where everyone treats me like I've treated them. I'm so upset right now, I've reached boiling point. It's not like I invited randoms, I was invited to their parties and hang out with them. These people who I thought were my friends are just cunts. All you had to do was show up. | good friends" didn't turn up, I'm fed up and angry, I've just had enough of being treated like shit |
t3_3sz4kn | tifu | TIFU by trying to get my cars heater fixed | This happened about an hour ago. I drove to a mechanic to get the heating on my car fixed (foggy windows are starting to be an issue). It is Sunday and I figured 4 hours was enough time before the store closed to diagnose and hopefully fix the issue. I walked to a nearby restaurant had some lunch and went back and sat in their waiting area. They initially gave me an estimate of 1 hour. After 2.5 they told me the progress and that they were narrowing it down. After another hour they came out with a part and showed me what had happened but of course they didn't have a new part in the store. Luckily they said they could have it by Wednesday. The guy behind the counter also casually slipped in that my car was in pieces and the guy who took it apart already left for the night. My biggest mistake was doing it today; as tomorrow my first day at a new job with a significant commute. (2 hours in rush hour traffic, 1 with no traffic). | The day before my first day at a far away new job brought car to mechanic who took it apart and didn't put it back together before he left. So now no car to get to new job with. |
t3_1h8g8h | self | Two female friends, one recently made, the other less so, have revealed to me that they were molested when they were younger, one of them by her father. I am struggling to deal with this. Your thoughts are appreciated. | Girl 1, been friends for about 8 months. Been on and off interested in her, and it came up when we were drunk together one time. This is the girl who was molested by her father, from as early as she can remember till about 10 years old, when her parents got divorced. We are still good friends, and I feel the constant need to hold her close and never let go. We have been physically close before, and it causes flashbacks for her if we went too far. She is a relatively quiet and introverted girl, but will open up if she feels friendly with someone. She had an older brother that killed himself 4 years ago.
Girl 2, recently become better friends over the past few months, went on a few dates with. I never would have suspected it of her. She is one of the perkiest and most cheerful people I know. She was molested by her mother's coworker, from about age 10 to about age 16. I think it involved more direct sexual assault, she doesn't like to talk about it. Her last boyfriend killed himself about a year ago. Came up when we were drunk and high.
We are all about 21 years old. I am deeply disturbed by this. I knew that sexual assault/violence/molestation of people in general and females in particular was common than you heard about, but I am beyond troubled by this.
I heard one estimate that 1 in 3 women are victims of sexual violence, Can someone source me on this?
If anyone has dealt with this before, a friend, family member, or SO that was a victim, or yourself a victim, please tell me how you dealt with it. I don't know what to do. | 2 Close friends were molested/raped. It has hit close to the heart, how should I deal with this? |
t3_2nctla | relationships | I'm [21 M] and I recently started talking with a [19 F] whom I met on OKC. Could use some advice about a few things. | So, I recently met this very cool girl on okcupid, and we get along on many levels. I've been at online dating for some years now, and I rarely have any success. She doesn't live super close to me, about 20-30 minute drive from where I am now, and I'm the only one of us who drives.
Thats not my main thing I'm seeking advice about but I'm gonna circle back to it. She's unsure about meeting up anytime soon, it's only been a few days I realize, but I've been in situations before where nothing comes about from these online relationships because it goes on for too long. I'm going home for thanksgiving on Wednesday and will be back sunday. My thoughts are, if she's not ready to meet up by the time I get back, nearly a week from now, I feel like this isn't going to go anywhere.
So my questions: Am I being unreasonable with this train of thought? And also, should I try and go for someone a little closer to me, someone who would be able to drive to me some of the time instead of me always driving? | Girl I met online is worried about meeting up anytime soon, am I unreasonable for wanting to meet up sooner rather then later? |
t3_3eqg8m | tifu | TIFU by missing a pass. | TIFU by missing a pass from a really attractive ebony lady while on shift.
I work part time as a lot associate at home depot, for you of that don't know what a lot associate is, it's a fancy name for a cart boy. I'm the fellow who runs all over the store to help you folk load up your heavy objects in to your vehicle, give you a hand or when you're feeling lazy/entitled. There are a few of you I'm aware... Either way, the main source of communication is a simple walkie talkie between me and the numerous cashiers that need help. So with that covered, the fuck up. I've been on shift for a few minutes, I've been catching up with a work buddy and I had just gotten out of a slump from my ex's new house with her new boyfriend, so my mind was on other things. I noticed one of the self check outs being weird and malfunctioning. So I brought it up with the new chick that has hired on for Head Cashier, we both get together and fix the problem. Now she's rather cute in my opinion, physically attractive and well maintained, 8/10 would bang. She got awfully close to me a few times and rubbed up against me, but I thought nothing of it as we were working on machinery which can require tight spaces. Finishing our repairs we head back to the main terminal where she starts playing with her hair with one finger, twirling it slowly, she looks down kind of coyly and asks "So do you have a phone?"
My brain thought she was referring to one of the store phones used to communicate, which other departments and managers have. So I opened my mouth and said,
"No I don't, but I've got a radio! Call me if you need me!" cheerfully and obliviously shooting down the pass from her. She looks a little stunned and manages an "oh." I walked out of the store when I got hit with the sudden realization of what I had done. | TIFU by misinterpreting "Do you have a phone" for "Do you have a store phone", and corrected the girl with "No, I've got a radio." |
t3_2ztjyt | jobs | Passed interview, waiting for contact... | I've been out of a job for quite awhile for a variety of reasons, been trying to get one, but interviews aren't really me thing. But I applied for a job late last month, and late this week I missed a call that was the manager telling me I passed the interview, and being asked to call him back.
I tried to several times that day, but no luck. I tried the next day, and it was his day off - I apologized and was thankful for accepting me - so he said he would call me back tomorrow (i.e. today) when he was working, as he would have the paperwork, he also asked if it's easier for him to call my mobile or landline - which I told him. Woke up pretty early to make sure I wouldn't miss the call. Have had the phone on me all day (is now 5:00 pm) and so far no call.
I was wondering does anyone know what would be a good thing to do in this sitaution?
I don't want to call him *if* he's going to call me, to avoid seeming pushy. But I understand that he's human, and it's possible he could have forgotten.
A friend of mine suggested that I wait until Monday afternoon to call back, but I just wanted to see if other people would agree with this, or if I should call sooner, or what.
Anyone able to give advice/help?
The job is a supermarket-like retail job in a place that hasn't opened yet, so store times aren't displayed on the website (that I've found).
I checked the FAQ and didn't see any question that was similar to this, but did just ctrl+f specific words after awhile, so sorry if this has been answered before. | missed call. Returned call on managers day off. Was told he would call tomorrow. Still waiting, wat do? Call sometime soon? Wait a bit and call later? Call after the weekend? |
t3_35o0cx | relationships | How do I [19F] instill some self-respect in my younger sister [14F]? | The way my sister is acting is kind of concerning, but I have no idea how to get through to her. My mom checks her phone regularly, which is how I know all of this.
It all started two years ago when my mom caught her talking to boys she met online, telling them she loved them, and sending out tons of pictures of herself in underwear and saying things like "Ugh I'm chubby but here you go."
Over the past few years she has been getting in trouble for sexting (not pictures AFAIK, just dirty talking).
This year, she got her first in-person boyfriend. He was a grade older. They dated for about 3 months. Notable things: they made out in the back seat of his parents car while his parents were driving them home from a movie. She broke up with him because she didn't like him anymore, and also because he kept trying to convince her to give him a blowjob while she didn't want to (GOOD! I'm proud of the way she handled this).
A couple months ago, immediately after breaking up with the first one, she started dating another guy who is 18! Way closer to my age than to hers! After about a week they started saying I love you, blah blah blah. I thought they were still together, but last week I saw on her phone that another guy was texting her hearts and kisses and stuff. I asked her what she's doing, and whether this means she has two boyfriends now. She said she's not dating either of them.. even though she says I love you to one, and calls the other one babe. The new one is also at least 17.
Yesterday I came home to my mom telling her that she checked her snapchat and found boy(s) sending her dick pics, and that she can only imagine what my sister is sending them. They didn't have a talk then because my dad was coming home and my mom didn't want him to find out (for my sister's sake).
It seems like she gives in to anyone giving her attention. What can I say to her to discourage her from behaviour like this? | I think my sister is the "easy girl" of her school because she does not have much self respect. I've tried talking to her, but don't know what to say to help her. |
t3_2rv4pg | relationships | I [22M] want to get closer to my long-distance friend [22F] | I've had a really good friend in college, and since graduating we have gotten a lot closer. In school, there were a couple of times where we almost hooked up at parties, and a few months before graduation I asked her on a simple date. She responded by saying she didn't want it to be a date and risk our already strong relationship, and insisted we go as friends.
Now its a year later and we are closer than ever. But we live about an hour away from each other, money is tight, and our schedules are always full to capacity, so we don't get to see each other regularly. We text, Snapchat, and talk at least once a week, and try to see each other at least once a month.
I'm getting to a point where I want to see more of her, and my feelings for her are getting worse. I know we'd make a good couple, but I think she's afraid of putting the extra effort in. She's going to graduate with her Master's this semester, and then will start looking for jobs. She's been talking about staying in her city, but I really want her to at least look where I live, seeing as I'm not her only friend who lives here.
Here's my q: should I try again and ask her to try dating me again? I would love to show up randomly with flowers and just ask. Should I wait and try and convince her to get a job in my city so we could see each other on a more regular basis? Or should I just accept the status quo and get over her? | I'm interested in a close friend who lives an hour away. I want to start dating her, but she's turned me down before. What do? |
t3_2u72qb | relationships | My boyfriend [21] of three years does this thing that really annoys me. | my boyfriend gets really flattered when other girls talk to him in the same way a high school dude would. I've always known this and didn't really care, but today he drunkenly and jokingly told me in great depth just how excited he gets and how much it affects him when a girl gives him even an average amount of attention.
He does end up getting quite a bit of attention and I don't actually get jealous. But him expressing so enthusiastically how excited it gets him and even how much he seeks that sort of attention got me a bit stupidly insecure. | Am I being unreasonable about how easily my boyfriend gets flattered by female attention and are we all entitled to some confidence boosters |
t3_261wcu | college | Financial Aid Appeal Due to Illness - Just Looking for Advice or Reassurance | Hello everyone! Sorry if this is annoying but I am very worried and was hoping someone could tell me what to expect. Also I apologize for length.
I did very badly these past two semesters and my GPA is now a 1.98, with the minimum for financial aid being 2.0. I have been denied aid for this coming summer semester and need to submit an appeal.
The issue is that my poor GPA is not entirely my fault. Starting in the fall semester I began feeling increasingly more fatigued. However, it progressed so gradually that I felt like it was my fault or as if I was being lazy, so I did not contact the school or a doctor about it. This was my mistake. I spent winter break sleeping constantly and thought this would rejuvenate me and I would feel better for spring. It wasn't until second semester when I was sleeping at least 13 hours every day and feeling extremely fatigued when I was awake that I realized there had to be something wrong. Halfway through my spring semester I was diagnosed with a severe vitamin D deficiency.
After 3 months of treatment I am feeling much better and like my old self again. I have a letter from my doctor corroborating this information and will be submitting it along with my appeal letter and a plan of study created with my adviser, but I am still worried. A vitamin deficiency sounds so stupid and like not a big deal, but it profoundly affected my ability to function properly. I'm worried they won't think it's a worthy excuse, even though it did mess me up a lot.
Has anyone been in a similar situation, and how did it work out for you? I guess I am just interested to hear from other people who have had a similar problem. I just need someone to talk to. Tips, anything. | Got bad grades due to vitamin deficiency. Need to appeal for financial aid. Looking for tips or people who have had similar problems. |
t3_gpmgz | AskReddit | My girlfriend doesn't want me to consider girl roommates. Is this okay? | So my current roommates visa is running up and has to leave this month. It's hard finding a replacement (well, hard finding someone that I'd enjoy living with) I've posted on craigslist and got a few replies, one that caught my eye was a german girl (I used to live in germany and loved it, and wanted to go back this summer but cant due to a few reasons) I thought it would be nice having a german roommate. My girlfriend doesn't want me to show my apartment to this girl, despite having never met her. I told my gf that she could have the final say when it comes to actually living with the girl, but she was still upset that I would even entertain the thought of living with this girl and showing her my place.
is this acceptable? | My girlfriend is upset with the fact that I'd even show my apartment to another female despite the fact I told her she could have the final say with who I live with. |
t3_nzbhu | AskReddit | Hey Reddit, do you take bribes? | - A friend of mine has entered a lip-syncing video competition for a toilet paper company.
- The winner is determined by a mixture of creativity and likes.
- I think the video is creative enough (even though it doesn't make much sense and strikes fear into children) but we both have no friends so it's sitting on a measly 80 likes.
- Most of the competition has 5k-20k likes.
- I really have no idea how they got their likes but my guess is some sort of Internet wizardry peppered with free candy.
- As I can't find a tutorial on said wizardry, I've come here for your help.
- I have nothing of real value to offer for your likes except a [video] of me scaring my drunk ginger friend down some stairs in 2005 (he still has a fear of stairs if that helps) backed by my other friend playing an early 90's action movie reflective type guitar riff.
So, if you're in a generous mood and appreciate my shameless attempt to get likes, please click this [link] and like the video. | If you click this [link] and like the video, my orange haired [friend] may get over his fear of stairs. |
t3_52mddq | legaladvice | Need some advice on the best way to go about getting savings bonds from my parents. | So I have 5 or 6 savings bonds that are in my name and are set to mature within the next 2 to 3 years and I need them to be in my possession as I am moving out of state from my parents and they are moving out of country next year. They claim that the bonds are solely for education, however when I talked to the people who purchased the bonds for me they mentioned no such stipulations. My parents refuse to give it to me unless I go back to college, but that is not in my plans at the moment. I don't want to have to get a lawyer involved with my own parents, but I do want the money they are holding from me anything I can do? | my parents have my savings bonds and I need them. They refuse to give them to me. What can I do? |
t3_spadp | AskReddit | I need advice, someone broke into my house and killed my pet | So today I came home to find my pet rat in the toilet, drowned. I know this could have been an accident, but several factors point otherwise.
* 1) Rats can tread water for up to 3 days, and can survive being flushed down the toilet.
* 2) The bathroom was closed, both doors into it. Not only that, but my rat is kept in another room that was closed when I left.
* 3) My roommate isn't home, and the girl who's feeding her cat knows this is my pet
* 4) I had told a guy off the day before. I don't know him very well, and he knows my roommate wasn't home. | I think some dude I told off broke into my house and drwon my rat, what should I do about it? |
t3_2jskg3 | tifu | TIFU by asking a friend if she was still attracted in me, and wanted to fool around before she leaves | We had been casual for a while, things got more real, she got scared. She is moving soon, we agreed to be friends after a little awkward hick up with me getting drunk and giving her the evil eye one night after deciding to be friends. So after a week we're actually just friends again without sex and one night while i was alone and remembering her i texted if she was still attracted and wanted to fool around before she leaves.
I get and angry text back which leads to her never wanting to talk to me again.
Please someone tell me I am not the only idiot who has done this. I was horny, i didnt know this was a bad thing, or that expressing it that bluntly was a bad thing. | I lost a potential relationship, then we became friends, then I ruined it permanently by being greedy and asking her for casual sex. I hurt in all kinds of ways i didnt know I could with this fuck up. |
t3_10s6zt | AskReddit | Hey, reddit, just looking for a little help/advice here. I'm a soon-to-be MBA grad looking for a job. Stupid question: what am I qualified for? Background inside. | Do I apply for entry-level positions? Do I apply to be the CFO of a company or the GM of a hotel? Likely somewhere in between, but I haven't been getting any good advice from my adviser, so I thought a quick trip to the hivemind might be in order!
Sooo...I need some quick and dirty advice so I can make some bacon and feed my damn pocket narwhal!
* I have a BS in Business (Hotel, Restaurant and Institutional Management).
* I have a few years of experience (< 3) working as a front desk manager on duty (MOD) and a conference services manager at a hotel.
* Those are my only post-college, adult work experiences.
I'm not all that sure I want to continue to to down the hotel/restaurant route, but I am not ruling it out. **Basically, I'm pretty much willing to try anything that sounds cool.**
I interview well, and can sell myself pretty well, so I'm not asking for tips in that department.
What I want to know is, what the hell kinds of jobs should I be looking for. I need key words, search terms. Job titles and the like. When I go to a place like careebuilder.com (for example) all I see when I search are jobs for people with 5-10 years of experiences (and a college degree) or jobs that require no schooling at all. What's a soon-to-be MBA grad to do?
Even just some search terms to help narrow my search would be greatly appreciated.
P.S. I live in the greater Austin area, but moving is also not out of the question. I'm a pretty flexible guy. (That is, if you have a job you want to give to a soon-to-be MBA grad and are in my area or beyond, then don't hesitate to hit me up!)
Thanks, reddit! | I'm not asking for help finding a job, interviewing or anything like that. I'm OK in those departments. What kinds of positions should I be applying for? |
t3_447csj | relationships | I [20M] don't feel like I'm in a relationship with my [20F] girlfriend | Okay so I've been with this girl for about 5 months. It was really nice at first but after these few months I don't feel like our relationship has changed so much.
We get along great but we don't see each other too much, because we're doing time-demanding studies and also because I sometimes happen to avoid her.
I'm also not in love with her. I deeply care about her, but I know we won't last too long. I also know I'll be the one who will break up, and I've felt like that since we started dating. I guess that's not a healthy way to start a relationship.
Recently, I've started having little crushes on other girls, including one who goes to college with me. It wouldn't be so bad of course, but I just don't feel attached to my GF anymore, I feel like I could just forget about it and move on with someone else.
So I guess I should break up, but whenever I'm with her (my girlfriend I mean), I just can't do it, it feels right. And once I'm alone, I go back to thinking that I should break up.
I've dated a few girls before, but this is the first time I have so little idea of what I want. I feel sort of lost and it kinda sucks. | Going nowhere with my GF, don't even feel like I'm in a relationship anymore and wondering if / when I should break up. |
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