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t3_x8kef | AskReddit | Couples of reddit, is it unfair of me to prepare for a worst case scenario in my relationship? | My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and a half, and recently we were talking about moving somewhere together. While discussing our options, I suggested keeping our leases short term do that if we were to have a falling out, no one would be stuck (or at least for long) he seemed to get very upset saying that by saying that I insinuate I doubt we're going to last. I have all the faith in the world in our relationship, and meant nothing by that, by he refuses to believe me, and now refuses to talk about it with me. Was my caution valid, or is he just being OAB? | I'm a "hope for the best prepare for the worst" kind of gal, and my boyfriend is mad at me because of it. Who's the nutcase? |
t3_2z6ohg | relationships | Should I(27/f) message this guy(27/m) I once rejected to date? | Hi, so me and this guy have been on and off in communication. We met online. He's a pretty decent guy from what I know. But from what it seems we both lead busy lives. We'd make an intent to meet up but it never worked out. I figured he lost interest but he messaged me again. Then finally he sent me a message with giving him his personal contact info. We decided to plan a date but he cancelled due to work reasons. He soon after messaged again to plan a date and I told him that there is just quite a lot going on in my life that I was juggling and was going to be taking a break from dating. Shortly after our first date plan I had deactivated my online dating account. He seemed civil in my response and wished me the best of luck. It's been a few months now and I still have his number. A part of me wonders "what if?" And is open to dating again. I'm not seeing anyone nor have I seen anyone since him. When I stated I was juggling a lot; I was including a transition in my work, health and a class I take part time. So would my question is would it be weird to message him now, see how he is doing? and possibly go on a date after a few months? | rejected a guy not so long ago after numerous fails in setting up dates. Now I feel ready after resolving some other life issues. Would it be weird to message him? |
t3_dwcgw | AskReddit | Extortion attempt by now defunct Hollywood Video | Today, I received a notice in the mail from Credit Collection Services about an outstanding debt from Hollywood Video in the amount of $107.88. I called CCS to contest this and they also tried to conveniently "lower" my settlement to $33. I refused since all the movies they claim were still outstanding had all been returned. Additionally, I was on the original rental plan ($14/mo for 2 videos at a time w/ no late fees) and canceled the plan when they went to the outrageous "PowerPlay" plan. I told CCS to cease contact and I would contest the bad debt on my credit bureau if it showed up there. Hollywood Video is, of course, non-existent and unable to be contacted. There is never any paperwork from the store when videos are returned. This is FRAUD!
I did a quick search on the internet and there are hundreds of complaints from people all across the US saying the exact same thing. There should be a class-action lawsuit suing CCS and Hollywood Video for fraudulent claims, trying to extort money from their former loyal and honest customers in this manner, and tarnishing our good names.
I submitted this information to my local Better Business Bureau but is there anything else I should do? It's hardly worth contacting a lawyer for $107 claim. | Hollywood Video trying to extort money from former customers via fabricated debts sold to collection agency. What should I do? |
t3_2dnju1 | relationships | For as long as I [23M] can remember, finding love has always seemed like the only way for me to find happiness. How do I lessen its importance and find satisfaction without it? | Right now, the most important issue in my life is my lack of love, and I don't want it to be this way.
Background: I've had very limited success with women over the years, two one-month-long relationships and a smattering of flings being about it. The last relationship, while brief, was the closest I've ever come to love, and the girl left me in a really shitty way without giving me closure.
So now I find myself dissatisfied with life. I love my job, I have interests and hobbies, and I have great friends and family, but I always feel this ache in the pit of my chest that I believe can only be fixed by love. I'm a romantic at heart and believe that love will one day come to me naturally, but until then, I'm anxious and melancholy. I waste inordinate time obsessing with online dating, and I social network stalk my ex (I don't want her back, but more like I want her to want me back so I can regain some agency in the issue... I know it's fucked up).
I feel like I've done all the things people always say to be single and happy. I'm active, socially and mentally, and I like myself. God knows I'm used to the single life. However, it seems to me, and its been this way for a long time, that love is the only way I'll ever be happy. Its by far the highest goal I have in life. I think it would be more productive to weigh things differently in my life, but I just can't. | I feel like my love life has more control over me than I over it. Finding love is far too important to me. How do I stop obsessing over relationships and become comfortable being single? |
t3_1emhcr | relationships | How can I [M19] gently tell my friend [F19] that she should stop being so clingy with her boyfriend [M18]? | My friend, after years of struggling with depression, entered her first relationship with her first major crush in February 2013. And all seemed great for a while- her disposition improved, she stopped binge drinking and she was really happy. I just want to emphasize that I really don't want them to break up - when they temporarily "had a break" she had a slight mental breakdown and self-harmed (she refuses to seek medical help about this, if anyone asks.)
Recently, they've been going through a good patch, but I've noticed that she has become painfully (literally) clingy to her boyfriend. When we hang around she is normal until he announces he has to go home or whatever, when she puts up a huge fuss -wearing his clothes and refusing to take them off, literally grabbing him, starting meaningless little arguments to waste his time. She tells me she's worried that she'll lose him and that he doesn't even like being with her.
And now I've been contacted by the boyfriend himself, who is basically a nice guy, but definitely does have commitment issues - he likes keeping things "casual". He wants me to tell my friend that she needs to be less clingy. Trouble is - I don't how. I can understand how this guy must feel smothered - if I was interested in girls I would probably dislike it as well. But I also understand that my friend is scared of this guy leaving her and I'm also scared that her dormant depression will come back if that happens | Been asked by commitment-phobic boyfriend of friend with slight depression , to reduce her clinginess. Need to leave both people happy. |
t3_46btpz | relationships | When can I [19M] ask this girl to be my girlfriend [19F] at university? | I've been talking to this girl for about 5 days and have gone on two dates with her. We both go to the same university, both first years and our 2 dates have gone really well. I really like and I'm pretty sure she feels the same way. Is it to soon to ask her to be my girlfriend as we've known each other less than a week?
We know alot about each other, we gotten very close (1st base) and purposefully not gone further yet. We could have easily gone all the way. So would it be weird if I suprised her with flowers and asked her to be my gf? | Girl I've known for just under a week, 2 dates, when can I ask her to be my girlfriend (we get on really well) |
t3_11614s | travel | Visiting the NYC/Boston area for the first time this weekend. | And I would love for some suggestions on what to do/see. I'll be arriving at the Airport in Albany (my friend lives in Saratoga Springs) at 9am on Friday and I'll be leaving on Tuesday of next week. I'd love to see NYC, Boston AND Montreal, but I'm not sure if I'll have time. If I can only see two, which cities should I go to? Saratoga Springs is pretty much in the middle of these three cities, so time and distance is pretty much equal. We all have passports, so no issues there either.
Anyway, I'm a 30-year-old male that is into art, music, architecture, philosophy and women. Typical liberal shit (with a smattering of fringe pseudoscience bullshit). As an example of something I'm interested in, there's a psychedelic conference in NYC this weekend that I'd love to attend, but I don't think my friends have the money to spend on the tickets (they're around $100). Is the Alex Grey museum worth visiting?
I'm also open to ideas outside of NYC, Boston and Montreal. I'm fairly ignorant about that whole region, so I would really love some help. My facebook friends failed me (though I don't think a damn person sees anything I post anymore), so I'm counting on you all!
Thanks, reddit. | Visiting NYC/Boston/Montreal area 10/12 to 10/16 and need some suggestions on things to do. |
t3_4unomu | tifu | TIFU by waxing my armpit | Before everyone tells me how stupid i am lemme just say I'm a guy and I've never used them before.
So my friend and I were arguing whether shaving increases the thickness of hair or not. I showed her the online research and she cited her real life experience. Therefore the only way to win this argument was for me to test out waxing strips. The next day she gave me the strips and a sadistic expression, because she knows theres no backing down from this challenge now.
So I proceeded to conduct the investigation. I shaved my right armpit. Feels nice and smooth hahahah. It looks better and I feel confident enough to go through with the fuck up.
I open the box read the instructions and apply. I wait for a minute to make sure its really stuck on there. Finally I decide to rip it off.
OH THE HORROR!... Believe you me, I expected the pain, but something happened that I simply didn't sign up for. I couldn't figure out what this sensation was. I looked into the strip.
Among the gross armpit hair, i saw a translucent light brown square. It took me a minute to process what the fuck just happened. I lifted my arm and looked into the mirror...
I saw a familiar pink square absent of any hair, and then b lood dotting out and growing. This was accompanied by a sting that doesn't go away and I can't close my armpit because the skin (or lack of) is too sensitive. | I waxed my armpit skin off and I walk around like I'm perpetually greeting someone far away, or a when i'm tired, a nazi zombie. |
t3_scmip | relationships | GF feels awkward hanging with BF's friends, how to fix it? | 24/F dating 25/M. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years now and we care about and love each other a lot. We're very compatible in so many aspects, from hobbies to humor and can talk to each other about anything. I really think he might be "the one" for me.
Problem arises from the fact that he's super close with his friends (which is great!) but I can't seem to connect or talk to them about much. He wants to integrate me into the rest of his life along with his friends, so he invites me to camping trips and and hangouts with them.
His friends are nice, cool people who make funny jokes and know how to have a good time. They have super outgoing personalities but unfortunately for me, I turn into a SAP and get really lame and shy when I'm around them. For some context, even after ~1 year of knowing these friends, my conversations are all the formal the "what did you major in college?" type of deal. I just can't speak bro!
This is a really important issue for me because his friends are a huge and important part of his life, and I want to be able to mesh well with them. Anything I'm doing wrong? Is this something I'll grow out? of or a serious sign to watch out for? :\ | 24F in love with 25M boyfriend but when we hang out with his buds I feel awkward and lame. I can't seem to joke with them. How to fix?? |
t3_c3b7q | relationship_advice | Cheering yourself up after something terrible happens | My wife is currently demanding a separation and will not talk about it any further. We've been married just under one year.
I've been sitting in a daze for the entire day trying to come up with something to say, but can't bring myself to say anything much less look at her. She still is the most important person in the world to me. It just hurt... a lot when she took off her rings and put them in front of me. Shes packed some of her stuff and I don't think she's going to return tonight. Afterwards, I went driving and got a ticket for parking in a fire lane. She reads reddit, so I would prefer if this isn't voted up.
Beyond cheering up, any sort of advice is also appreciated.
I'm a long time lurker, but this is my first post. | My wife is leaving me and I would really like to read something funny to cheer myself up so that I can attempt to convince her that this is a bad idea. |
t3_169pce | relationships | My husband (29M) of nearly five years says we are not emotionally compatible. Is that true? How can we work on this? (29F). | * | 29M husband says I (29F) am not emotionally compatible with him. How do I work on this? |
t3_gc18w | relationships | Losing my girlfriend | Me and my girlfriend have been dating for over a year and a half, and we are in our freshman year at college. Problem is, she has stopped being sexual with me; its been over a month, and she won't even make out with me. We had a talk, and she feels like we are going in different directions, and that she loves me, but she feels like I'm more of a best friend. I don't know what to do! I love her so much, I can't handle being just her best friend. She wants some space for a while to figure things out, what should I do? | Girlfriend doesn't put out, called me "only a bestfriend", want to make things better, don't know what to do. |
t3_2t8ez1 | legaladvice | Walked away from buying a new car and now my credit score has plummeted! | On December 18, 2014 I took my car into the dealership to be serviced. While I was there they offered me a free appraisal on my vehicle, which I took them up on. As I was checking out their used car selection a salesman approached me. I told him I wasn't interested in buying a car, just having mine serviced, but asked for some information on a used car in the lot. When I came back inside the dealership we talked some numbers and started going over loans and trade in values, but they kept trying to stiff arm me into signing the loan paperwork so I walked away from them. Now I'm getting letters in the mail from loan agencies saying I've been denied for loans I never applied for, and they're coming almost weekly. I went from having a low 700 score to a mid 600 in the span of three weeks. Is there anything I can do to refute these loan applications and return my credit score to what it was? | Walked away from signing paperwork at a car dealership because they were pushy, now I keep getting denied loan applications in the mail and my credit score is dropping |
t3_39stw7 | relationships | Should I have (F,18) told my boyfriend (M,18) I kissed another guy right after we got together? | Me and my boyfriend Alex* met in 2012, started dating in 2013 then we finally became official in March 2014. Now throughout these years I had been in an on/off friendship with this guy who we'll call Zac. Alex knew how Zack and I were somewhat best friends who occassionally fell out, and accepted our friendship for what it was.
However a month later, Zack became very abusive towards me, telling me I had 'led him on' even though I had never suggested to him we were anything more than friends. Although this next part may seem kinda contradictory. We hung out for a bit, attempted to reconcile and I came to the conclusion we should no longer have anything to do with one another. When saying goodbye I gave him a wuick peck on the lips, and looking back I have no idea why except that I felt sorry for him??
Anyways I didn't end up mentioning that part to Alex obviously. We went on to date for 6 months then broke up for personal reasons. During this whole time I had been receiving threatening messages and letters left at my doorstep from Zack, (Which I never answered and kept as evidence just in case) but thats a whole other story.
Earlier this year Alex and I got back together and I am in love with him more than I ever thought I could be. The creepy letters and poems I was receiving from Zack have stopped but when thinking about how much I care for Alex should I have told him EVERYTHING that went down? When I've asked friends about this some have told me it is no big issue and I should forget it, but I still feel a little guilty..
Any advice is appreciated. | Got into a relationship, kissed ex-best friend 1 month after who then turned into my own personal stalker. Boyfriend doesnt know full story |
t3_1xvhg5 | relationships | Me [24 F] with my boyfriend [23 M]: I feel like a jerk, in general. | My boyfriend, in the beginning of our relationship had mentioned that, after seven years, he'd found a girlfriend that he could be in love with again. With that I'd asked, "What do you mean?" Because he'd mentioned that he'd been in love with this girl that had left him (without even saying anything) - basically his 'one that got away'. Anyway, I hadn't mind being in a relationship with him since I like him and the sex is great.
But now, since he's been being all lovey dovey, I feel like a jerk because I guess I don't feel the same way since I'd gotten into that mental state where, "I am the replacement" after having "the one that got away".
I feel like a jerk because I know I'm just here to pass the time. But in terms of fully committing, I think he's not the one.
Is there something wrong with me? | My boyfriend's a nice person but had conditioned me that I was just a replacement for this ever recurring 'the one that got away' chick and now I'm not taking his love seriously. What's wrong with me?! |
t3_46era7 | relationships | I[20F] accidentally said "i love you" to my boyfriend [24M] of 2.5 months, how do I handle it from here?? | Hi! So I've been dating this guy for less than 3 months and it's been going so well. I actually can't even believe how great things are!
We spend time together almost every day (we live about 10 minutes walking distance from each other so it's so easy!) Last night we were hanging out like normal and when he left he said "see you tomorrow" to which I responded "love you too" because I am an idiot who has no control over her words. I swear to god I meant to say "see you too". It was a reflex, like saying "love you" at the end of a phone call with a family member.
We laughed about it, but I just wanted to vomit. We had just been talking about people who say it too early and then I had to go and say it too early.
I know in the long run it isn't a big deal, but does anyone have advice on how to remain calm/normal in the immediate aftermath? This is my first real relationship and I'm so happy and comfortable with him. I pretty much freaked out about it last night right as I said it, which was not the way to handle it and I don't want to start acting weird and sabotaging things. Thanks! | Blurted out "love you" too soon, didn't want to say it yet, advice for acting normal in the immediate future? |
t3_3mip5u | relationships | I (24M) am having difficulty living with my GF (27F) because I feel like we have both changed as people. | We've been together about 8 months and we moved in together way too soon, and I knew that but I felt very comfortable with the idea and so did she. We've been living together for around 4-5 moths or so. Obviously we both learned a hell of a lot more about each other as they days flew by. I'm having a hard time dealing with our issues let alone my own issues and direction in life. I no longer feel like I'm with the same woman I met before moving in. I find myself somewhat regretting our choice to move in, and I often times yearn to be single. I'm relatively volitile and my feelings unfortunately change day to day. I'm debating giving our relationship a month or two to talk and work on things (that we have already talked about, and hasn't changed) or to end our relationship at the right time. | Moved in with my gf, found out that we aren't as compatible as I previously thought and get in arguements weekly. Should I attempt to mediate, or end our relationship? |
t3_1kc1it | relationships | I [m22] have reason to believe i'm an Incel or Involuntary Celibate | I've come across the term Involuntary Celibate from a tumblr post that i ran across where they were talking about people who are love shy, and the term of Incel seemed to fit me perfectly
I am socially active, kind, caring, easy to get along with, but never ever had the same sort of intimate life that many of my friends and other aquaintances have had. People are shocked to know that i have never had a girlfriend, and only have had real sex once when i was 18.
I know that one shouldn't put too much emphasis on any self-diagnosed thing, but reading this seems to mirror my life to a T. and i can't help but feel at least somewhat relieved that there is some sort of term for it, cause then i can at least start trying to tackle this beast | I'm convinced i'm an Incel, which makes me feel good for having somewhere to start with my pain of loneliness |
t3_2adoa3 | relationships | Me 29m, her 26f. Relationship for 4 years, living together for 2. Going through some sexual confusion and not sure how to handle it. | Ever since I was a kid I've found that I'm capable of being attracted to both sexes. (physically and emotionally to women, and just physically to men... i think?) No one knows, minus my therapist, and I've been operating as an unwavering straight person for 29 years. I'm at the point in my relationship where it feels a little like a 'shit or get off the pot' type of scenario. I'm having feelings about wanting to end the relationship (which I've had for some time) but am very confused about why exactly.
I suppose I've always known that my lack of full open and honest communication about my sexual complexity has put a communication rift between us, like I've never showed her 100% me, but I also feel like there are other general incapability issues in our relationship and sometimes I feel that sexual confusion aside, we shouldn't be together. I'm just not sure.
That leads me to this place where I feel like I want to break up, but I also want to be 100% honest. If I'm planning on leaving, is it worth even mentioning the sexual confusion that I've been dealing with? I've never done anything with a man and have a difficult time imagining myself in a relationship with a man - it's more that I realize I need to explore this as to better understand myself.
I'm afraid to confuse her or hurt her more if I'm planning on breaking up anyway but the idea of not coming clean during the break up makes me feel awful about the whole thing. Any advice? | Thinking of breaking up but with my gf but want to better understand my sexuality to separate what's really ailing me in my relationship. |
t3_1hel79 | relationships | Realized how important No Contact Is [20/m] | Today, my ex-girlfriend [20/f] posted a picture of her studied abroad trip from Thailand, she's there for most of the summer. I broke up with her a week before she left (not because she went to a study abroad trip but because she is a compulsive liar and cheated on me). We were together for 2 years and 1 month and she was my first girlfriend. We have been broken up for only 3 weeks, I upkept NC (strictly talking to her) for 2 weeks.
When I saw the picture, it touched the surface on how perfect of a time she was having there. I had an almost new post-breakup rush from seeing it, sort of like the feeling I had when I broke up with her. The feeling of puking, my stomach churning, light-headedness. I can't have that anymore if I want to move on.
I felt like I could handle her being my Facebook friend. But I could not. No contact is essential. I blocked her from Facebook, from Instagram, everything. I can't go through a rush like that again.
Even though I broke up with her, I still love her. I still care about her. But it's still hard from this end, I had the best hopes and dreams for us. I obviously took grasp of reality and I realize she is not going to be in my future anymore, that I ended us for the best. She's much different than I am and she has different values in life than me. Oh, and she cheated and lied to me. That helps a lot.
For those who seek advice, comfort, and other things - life goes on. I've gone through a mental re-vamp myself these past 3 weeks and I've realized **time does not change us - only the realization and acceptance of the present changes can bring us happiness.** Also, love is not concentrated into one person and love is pretty much all around us. There are many and plenty of people out there that care about you. | No contact is essential and is very necessary for the healing process. Letting go completely means moving on in life. And life has much in store for you. |
t3_4jxxu8 | relationships | I [26M] am going on a business trip for two days and I'm sharing the hotel apartment with 4 other work mates (2M, 2F).My GF [25 F] flipped. Am I unreasonable? | Well the title kinda explains it. Been with my GF for 4 years, we live together, very serious, even talked about marriage and stuff.
I'm going on an important business trip with 2 guys and 2 girls (colleagues of mine from the office) and the company booked us a hotel apartment, obviously everybody with their own rooms | Going on business trip for a few days. Staying in a hotel with 2 guys and 2 girls, all with our own rooms. GF flipped saying that it's not ok, said it's a deal breaker. Thoughts? |
t3_2u5zyd | relationships | M(18) with GF(18), confused. | My GF and I have been together for a little over 3 years now and are both freshman in college at different universities hours away.
Everything was good for the most part during our first semesters away from each other, but as this second semester has started things have been different. We recently nearly broke up, over a number of things (without sounding like a jerk, they were all problems that she caused). I explained that I needed time to think about things and think about the relationship and eventually decided that I would be ok with seeing how things went in the next couple of weeks., and here we are.
She said she is depressed being so far away and jealous that she has to live at home while I am away and enjoying my time here.
Although I really love this girl and have always been willing to do anything and everything to make her happy, recently I have been having thoughts about ending it for a couple reasons: I have always been a near-perfect boyfriend (something she has also expressed) while she has always brought problems into the relationship as a cause of her own insecurities etc., I have questioned whether or not I would just be happier without her and without a LDR so I can enjoy my time her in college without the stress of an LDR, and finally, I do not want to eventually resent her and resent the fact that I never got the 'full college experience'.
I care about this girl but I do recognize that I need to do what is best for me and for my own happiness as well as hers. The LDR can be a lot to deal with, especially on top of school and work. I hope I haven't sounded like an insensitive person. | Confused as to what to do with my LDR of three years as our relationship gets more strenuous in college. |
t3_2ico8x | relationships | I (24/m) became resentful towards a girl (22/v) I dated and I'm not sure about the next step I should take. What are my options? | I finally dated a girl I liked about the tenth of august, after a couple dating plans that didn't work out. We always talked on facebook and through texts, multiple days a week, and I could say that there was some attraction going on.
After the date though, I didn't hear from her for almost a whole month. I didn't contact her either, because I felt she should have made the first move to contact me again. She then contacted me a couple of times, with about a week in between, but I was very short and cut contact after a couple of texts, messages etc.
About a week ago, she asked me literally if we could talk decently, because our conversations went dead very quickly, she thought.. I told her we could chat tomorrow because I was very tired and didn't really feel like talking to her. She gave a short answer and that was it. What does all of this mess mean, and how should I go further with this, or should I even go further with this? Your advice would be much appreciated. | Girl I dated didn't contact me, I became very short afterwards when she contacted me again. How should this go furter. |
t3_1e33f6 | relationship_advice | How to tell my [20f] boyfriend [23m] that I am moving out? | My boyfriend and I have been together a year and a half. Within months of dating, I was spending almost every night at his apartment. Nine months ago we got an apartment together. Now, a new school schedule is forcing me to quit my job, and he will be paying for our apartment in full.
Our time living together has had a lot of ups and downs. At times I am very happy, and at other times I feel totally trapped. He has some perpetual problems that I have learned to live with. But there are others that I am absolutely not willing to put up with. My bf goes through phases of being extremely mean and controlling. He gives me orders, cannot communicate effectively, cannot be flexible, expects me to have no thoughts or feelings of my own about something, and pretty much wants me to live according to him and his rules. This is a level of disrespect that I am not okay with, especially when he will have even more power over our living situation.
Each time this happens I let him know that if things to do not change we will not be living together again next year. They were improving, but it happened again this week. This week we were also looking for new apartments.
I'm finally at a point where I can admit I can't do it anymore. I can't sign a new lease. I can't commit to another year of it. I still want to be with him, but living together is too much for me to do. I have spoken with my family and decided to move home. They support me and will help me financially. I'll be moving out in a few weeks before summer school starts.
Now, I have no idea how to tell my boyfriend. I'm moving out for the summer, taking all my things, all our things that I got. I will think about moving back together in the fall, or I may move with friends. I will still want to spend some nights together, and see how our relationship progresses. I don't think he is going to take this well.. Help?! | I can't commit to living with my boyfriend for another year because of his controlling behavior. I am moving home for at least the summer and don't know the best way to tell him. |
t3_1fh5kf | Advice | Do I continue a relationship with a friend I cannot trust? | I have a good friend of similar age to me. We generally get along great, but recently I've been having doubts about our friendship. In the past, we have gone out with each other and during that time she cheated on me... with three different guy. Obviously I broke up with her, but we did remain good friends.
When we first started dating, she had told me that she'd been raped by an ex, but I asked her recently about it and she told me that she had lied to me about it, for a reason she doesn't know.
Recently, I started hearing rumours that she had started taking drugs, although mostly just weed mostly and bit of this and that. Her farther is a drug dealer, so she has easy access to any drug she could want. She's only 17, I've looked after her for most of her life and I'm worried that she's going to end up getting into crime or developing an addiction to a hard drug. She says she cares about me, loves me and would do anything for me, so I asked her to stop otherwise I'd move away and break contact with her. She said she would stop and begged me to stay, however I still have the feeling she won't. She has ADHD, so she is impulsive and often acts before she thinks. This, in additon to her previous actions means that it's hard for me to trust her and believe what she says. Currently, I'm not in the same country as her and won't for a few more months, so it's impossible for me to keep a good eye on her.
Basically, do I continue with our friendship, or tell her to screw it? | My friend who cheated and lied about being raped, has started taking drugs. I don't trust her and don't want to get hurt again. |
t3_cbebd | running | How long will I be cursed with shin splints?? | For about two years, I used to be a long-distance runner, completing a marathon and a half marathon. Since then, I've taken a year off, running only once every few weeks, or even less. A little while ago, I started running again in earnest. I've stayed in pretty good shape because I'm very active and walk all day. I did lose speed, but my endurance didn't suffer as badly as I thought it would. I did about six workouts over the course of a week and a half that consisted of two 45 minute runs, two speed sessions, and two hill workouts.
Back when I was actually training, I never had any problem with shin splints. I have gained some weight since then (I used to be sickly skinny), but I now weigh about 150 and am 5'9'', which is a pretty healthy weight. I am also very flexible, and my legs are now stronger than they used to be due to strength training. After those six workouts, I had a shin splint in my left leg, so I took a week off of running (I did continue yoga and strength training). Yesterday I went out for a run and ended up going for an hour because I felt really good, despite the nagging pain in my left shin Afterwards, I iced both my legs, elevated them, rehydrated and refueled, and did little walking for the rest of the night. I even slept with my left leg elevated (though when I woke up it was no longer elevated). This morning my leg feels like someone snapped it half and repaired it with paper clips or something. I mean, not so bad that I think it's a stress fracture, but bad enough that it'd be a stupid idea to do my scheduled workout. So when is this damn shin pain going to go away?! | I got shin splints, took a week off running, ran yesterday and followed R.I.C.E., and the damn things still kill. When will it end? |
t3_36yw3p | relationships | Me [20F] lost passion and became better friends than lovers with boyfriend [21M] 2 year relationship, still struggling to accept we're not together. | Hi guys,
Looking for some advice of anyone who has been through a similar breakup. There is no anger or resentment from either parties here. We both acknowledged for even up to a few months prior to breakup that we were more like best friends than lovers.
For example, we more often than not went out alone/with other friends. Not a lot of mingling with the others friends (not that we didn't, nothing was hidden it just didn't happen very often). Also very poor sex life. Me [F] had higher libido than him [M] and this had really damaging affects to both of us for so many months.
Despite that, still used to hang out all the time (multiple times a week), similar interests/values etc. So many inside jokes and things, which makes it so hard to let go of.
Has anyone else been through anything like this? Because we were better friends than lovers I feel like we could stay as friends like usual just cutting out the bf/gf part. But I feel like that might not be wise.
Currently we still talk every day, and meet up for our usual lunches on a Monday at uni during our break. We both still want to talk to and see each other, but obviously it's a bit complicated now.
Would love to know if anyone else had something similar, and what they did about it?
Thanks | Me [20F] broken up with boyfriend [21M] because lost passion in our relationship and more like best friends than lovers. |
t3_2tglct | legaladvice | (MS)Sorry if it's wrong place to ask. I was recently caught trespassing,owner let us go but now she's pressing charges. | Does anyone have any advice on what to do?
it's a misdemeanor and a $250 fine (on top of the $525 bail i just paid) but i'm not sure how this will effect my job prospects and future.
Should i even consult a lawyer about this?
we (my then girlfriend and I along w/ 2 other people whom we do not know who just happened to be there) were caught red handed but the sheriff said that we'd just only be given a warning and that there would be a write up but nothing would come of it.
the place in we were caught is well known locally as a hiking trail and even google said it was a place to visit. So i ignore the warning signs and went at the insistence of my then girlfriend who told me it was absolutely OK and that as long as we stuck to the main trail we'd be fine.
the sheriff who took our info actually admitted he himself had gone up the trail just the past week.
the two others acutally know the owner personally and this didn't stop them from pressing charges against all of us.
i asked the officer if he could talk to the lady and have her call me to reconsider and he called me back telling me that she had decided to press charges anyway.
Thank you | caught trespassing, paid $525 bail money. misdemeanor charge will be another $250, don't know if i should attempt to fight it and seek counsel. |
t3_vobnl | self | I'm assuming this goes here ... So sorry if it doesn't ! | So, like I said ... I don't really know where to put this ... I really like a guy, and he's a bit older . We're talking 3 years . Not that bad . I never talked to him much, but my friend did ... Everyday ... I told her that I liked him and she pulls some kind of middle/high school drama . She tells him "wild" rumours and now he won't talk with me at all :/ . It really hurts because this is the 3rd time something like this has happened . Can anyone help me persuade him she's lying ? Remember, I don't speak to him much . | I like this guy ... Guy is friends with my "friend" who told rumours about me ... How do I stop this ? |
t3_55abqg | personalfinance | Help please! College student first time being rear ended by somebody. | Hey r/personalfinance
This is my first Reddit post & I was hoping I could seek some advice.
Finished my last class for the day & decided to fill up my gas tank at the Costco gas station near my house. There's a stop sign right before the Costco parking lot & I had two cars ahead of me, and two behind.
The car in front of me moved forward to take the place of the car that just had left & I moved forward as well, waiting to take my turn. The driver behind me was distracted & he rear ended me, causing what I think are minor damages. His car was undamaged.
We exchanged contact info, insurances, drivers licenses & pictures of the damage to my car.
From there I don't know what to do. The person at fault is an Uber driver who's going through a divorce, has 2 children, and does not want to claim this to the insurance. He is WILLING to pay for the repairs to my bumper.
I'm a college student & thankfully I have insurance, but i definitely can't afford out of pocket expenses.
Additional info that may help:
-I'm in the state of California; I don't know if this is a at-fault or no-fault state for auto accidents.
- I have Mercury Insurance.
- I have pictures of the damage if needed.
- I THINK the driver at fault doesn't have liability
What would be the best option for me?
To claim the accident or to have him repair my damages?
I really don't want my rates to go up for something I didn't cause.
If you need any other info please let me know
Thanks for your time & help. | got rear ended at a stop sign near Costco Gas. Have necessary info from other driver but he does not want me to claim it to the insurance company. He is willing to pay out of pocket. |
t3_3gfqo1 | relationships | Me [18 M] with my girlfriend [17 f] 8 month: Seems like she just wants to be friends? | So I had a crush on a classmate that I was friends with for a while, I finally asked her out and she accepted and we've been dating ever since. But honestly, seems like she's either way too immature for a relationship or just wants to be friends? She doesn't like me kiss her, but only occasional hugs, and she always seems to prioritize me pretty low? Like she has no issues telling me that she's busy but I've noticed that when anyone else wants to meet up or talk she makes time.
It seems like she just wants me around as an emotional crutch, I always make time for her and go out of my way to be romantic and I think she knows that? I've brought this up with her numerous times and she always assures me she likes being romantic and loves me, but I'm almost starting to feel like she's just using me as a back up. I'm not sure what to do, because I do really love her a lot, and I've come close to breaking up with her many times but just can't do it. Should I go through with it or is this just me? | Seems like girlfriend just likes to keep me around as a back up, but she denies, should I break it off? |
t3_2uhrrm | relationships | My (22f) boyfriend (23m) of 5 years is bad at kissing and sex, but I have never told him. How can I do it nicely after pretending it was fine for so long? | We have been together since our teen years and lost our virginities together. For the first few years of sex, I thought we were still getting the hang of it and that was why it never felt good to me. But it's been 5 years and it still doesn't. The worst part is that I've never told my boyfriend that because I don't want to hurt his feelings.
It's not that he doesn't do enough foreplay, or doesn't go down on me, or anything like that. It's that every time he touches me, it feels bad. Firstly, he is a sloppy kisser, but not in a good way. I've tried lightly correcting him or kissing him the way I want to be kissed, but he never changes. Secondly, he touches me in a way that feels uncomfortable and tickles me (I'm very ticklish). If I react badly to him touching me in a certain way or in a certain place, he keeps doing it. When he fingers me, he does it from an angle I've told him feels bad, and whenever he touches my clit he just kind if wiggles it around and it doesn't feel good at all. I'm sure you can imagine how oral goes, so I won't get into it.
I have waited so long to tell him how I feel about all this that I have no idea how to do it. He knows I don't love sex, but he doesn't really know why. The issue seems so insurmountable: I just don't like the way he touches me. How can I talk to him about this without it being awful? | everything my boyfriend does sexually feels bad, but I've waited so long to tell him that I'm not sure how to bring it up. |
t3_2a9762 | relationships | Me (22F) with my boyfriend (22M) of 2 .5 years. He wants to stay friends with his ex who he says is a really good friend....I'm just jealous and insecure.. | Hi, so I'm going to make this short. My boyfriend has recently kept in contact with his ex girlfriend who he dated for 6 months. He says he misses hanging out with her because before they dated they were just really good friends above all else....
It makes me feel jealous however, and very insecure when he talks to her. And for the past year we've actually had troubles because of this...troubles where I have actually gone through his phone to read their conversations and even breaks and break ups because he just keeps talking to her...and, well it just got complicated. (I broke up with him because I saw that he was deleting messages he had with her) (he suggested a break because he said, if I can trust him when we aren't together I can trust him when we are together)
I'm trying to get over this and let him be friends with whoever he wants because its not my place to say who he can and can't talk to. It's his life, he is his own person.
However, I just hate that he talks to her about emotional stuff that he doesn't care to talk to me about...and even though he knows that it bothers me SO much that he talks to her he still doesn't try to make me feel better about it.
I don't know what to do...I'm trying to just love my life and not worry about this...but its haunting me and it won't let me escape. Should I seek therapy?
Also, I should add that he cheated on his ex with me...so yeah, you can say that if he wanted to be with his ex he would be...because he chose me instead of her...but what if he starts to question his decision? Ugh. | boyfriend of two years wants to stay best friend with his ex. I'm trying to not let this bother me and calm the fuck down. How do I calm down? |
t3_hmqdc | dating_advice | Do I tell my crush how I feel? | So this is probably a dumb question/very high school sounding, but I feel really clueless about how to go about these things. I am 22/f, he is 21. We went to elementary school together and lost touch over the years. We have started talking over facebook/text messages over the past few months and I have noticed that we have a lot in common, and when we hung out in person for the first time I had total butterflies.
Here's the complicated part: I just got out of a relationship a couple weeks ago, and I think I might be friend-zoned with this new guy because we started becoming friends while I was still in a relationship. I mean, he seems really flirtatious when we talk, but maybe that's just his personality? I don't know, I'm just so bad at reading guys.
So reddit, do I tell this guy that I like him? I would really like to be friends even if he doesn't feel the same way about me, but am I totally nuts for wanting to see if maybe he does?
Also, I am sure many of you are thinking that I should probably wait until I'm not so newly-out-of-a-relationship, but I'm also concerned about the risk of being further friend-zoned (if I'm not already :/ ). So is it ever okay to pursue someone new relatively soon after a breakup?
All advice is very greatly appreciated! Thank you! | I like a new guy, just got out of a relationship, afraid I might be friend-zoned, do I tell him how I feel? |
t3_2pdwb9 | offmychest | Fuck, just fuck all... | So I've been working really hard at school because this is my second chance and I really want to succeed this time. Well I just got my grade for my Calculus Class which was one of my weakest subjects. I missed passing for my program by 3.5 points........ 3.5 fucking points. And the worst part is that's with a grade of a zero in for a test, which I took sick as a dog because I knew I needed to take it, but oh well looks like I get to try a-fucking-gain if I don't get drop-kicked out of school for not raising my gpa. FUCKING FANTASTIC. | I fucked up missed passing a class by 3.5 points and might get kicked out of school, yay me. |
t3_22lq6k | relationship_advice | [20/f] I told my boyfriend of 9 months [29/m] that I'm uncomfortable with him commenting on gonewild pics. He says its none of my buisness. | I'm not here to offend any gonewild girls.
Right now I am quite upset and am hoping to get some opinions about this.
My boyfriend, like most guys watches porn and I am okay with that but when I found out he browses gone wild often it made me uncomfortable because it seemed more personal. I told him this and he said it's the same as porn and I can't stop him from doing it. I didn't really have anything else to back up my point of view except that it makes me feel upset. He said he doesn't care about how I "feel" about and asking him to stop is selfish and narcissistic. I dropped it after that and tried to accept his stance on the matter even though I didn't like it.
However he has commented on a couple of posts since then and I could not stay silent about that. I am working really hard on myself esteem and making myself feel better about how I look but seeing him pay compliments to those girls really broke me. I told him that I felt very uncomfortable about that and if he could please not comment. I then gave him the reasons why I felt this way so strongly (me trying to work on my self esteem and him not commenting for now would help, it pushes my comfort boundaries etc) he said fine, but that he shouldn't have to.
He was getting really aggressive and hostile about this and I explained that I wasn't trying to be controlling, just to find a compromise for a little while if we could. He said he will just make a new reddit account so he can do what he wants without me knowing (we are "friends" on reddit because he posts amazing science stuff)
Am I being unreasonable? Could I get some opinions on this situation? It would put my mind at ease knowing if I'm over reacting or not, thank you. | BF comments on gonewild posts, I expressed in was not comfortable with it and he thinks I'm over reacting. Am I? |
t3_3fq34x | personalfinance | $4.3K in debt after a serious emergency, barely skating by on my current wage so becoming debt-free is looking bleak. Any advice? | First time posting here, hopefully this is the right place for this.
About two years ago I had a pretty serious emergency that came up 3 weeks before I was planning a move across state lines. Total expenses totalled about $5K. I had about $5K in savings that I was hoping to use for my move, and in an effort to not have that set back I put all expenses on my credit card (I was very young and naive). I had zero interest on my credit card at the time, so $20 payments each month seemed very manageable, and I did not know enough about how credit cards worked to realize that after a year I would be paying a fair amount in interest per month. For awhile, while I could, I was paying a few hundred extra that I had in excess towards my balance, but I'm sure it is known that that only goes so far.
Fast forward a year, and I have since made my move and needless to say my savings that I had foregone using quickly ran out. I'm employed but even paying what I am for a place where I live (comparatively it is a *steal*) at the wage that I'm at, I'm not in a place financially where I'm comfortable paying off significant chucks of my debt each month. I'm paying about $120 a month, which I'm not even sure if that is high or low, but it's about all I can afford each month while still having what I consider to be breathing room financially.
So sorry for taking so long to get to the point, but my question is: **what options do I really have at this point? Am I stuck paying large amounts of money to stay in debt forever until I come into a large sum of money?** I've heard things about balance transfers to another card but I honestly don't know the first thing about that or if that would be possible and/or advantageous for my particular situation. Any advice? | $4.3K in debt, can only comfortably pay minimum payments for the foreseeable future, do I have any options and if so what are they? |
t3_i9sex | AskReddit | What would you do? | So I realized the other day that I've never really had any close friends (besides a few girlfriends) and that the only thing I've ever really done in my life was to work towards becoming successful: going to college, getting scholarships, getting a job. And on top of that I've realized just how socially inept I am. At one point I was religious but now in looking back on it, it seems more like it was just another occupation. I also have realized that in my past relationships I've sort of just latched on and held on for dear life. I can see that this is not a good way to go through the rest of life unless I am willing to sacrifice thinking about life (which I don't really think is a good way to live). What would you do? | I'm someone who only has their work (and am moderately successful) and is socially inept and I realized recently there is much more to life. What would you do? |
t3_3uiux8 | legaladvice | Family member stole money from other family member no consent. need help if i can do anything. | So im doing this more for my dad then my self but, My uncle has stolen money 44,000 to be exact from his mother (who has dementia and alzheimer's) . He took this money from his mothers bank account which are all suppose to under my fathers name because he is the oldest and when their father passed this was how he had left it. Now my dad has been digging into the bank accounts to see that he has drained two of the account and maxed out some credit cards some how going above my father doing so. They did have access to the cards because they were taking turns taking care of her while she was on a waiting list for a home to live in where she could be under care.. Some of the places were bar tabs and little spending like this not all in once was happening in the last 11 months. We have tried talking to him and he refuses to talk about this subjct.
We live in Alberta Canada... | My uncle stole 44,000$ from his mother bank accounts that were suppose under my Dads name, wondering if theres anything we can do. |
t3_20qx6p | offmychest | I really wish I had a normal family... | I'm 33. I've made mistakes and bad choices (though honestly less than most people I know) in my life but you have never supported anything positive I've ever done. I am aware that a parent doesn't want their child to make the same mistakes as they did. But when your 33 daughter calls you and tells you she's pregnant with her fourth child you shouldn't respond with 'shame on you' like a dog that just need on the carpet. My husband has a good job my children are all perfectly taken care of. And it's no better when I tell my father and he complains that I'm not going back to work. Fuck off, neither of you had a job my entire childhood. I regret my first marriage with my abusive alcoholic exhusband and you assholes made me feel bad for getting a divorce. Your lives have always been such a disaster, and I have always tried my best to not judge you. I have always tried to take care of you and sacrificed so much of my happiness. You are horrible people. I could go on for days all the failings as parents you have made. But just remember this day how you treated me, if you can't be happy for my happiness you don't deserve my compassion when your struggling and have no where to turn. | I found out I'm pregnant with my fourth child (we were trying) called my parents first because thy complain they're always the last to know. They shame me as if committed a horrible crime. |
t3_124tkb | personalfinance | I just looked at our yearly income + what we have to show for it... we need help. | My fiance and I are not good with money. I'm marginally better than he is but we both tend to be impulsive, budget busting, assholes when it comes to our monthly bills and expenditures.
He is extremely lucky to be in a field of work where he can put his Navy background to use and make pretty decent money for someone who only has a high school diploma and I'm working part time for minimum wage- in fact I haven't actually started yet. I just got hired.
With just his income we're pulling in around ~$65,000 a year. We have no safety net. We are constantly living above our means every month and barely squeaking by.
Here are our bills:
* Rent: $1350
* Car note: $300
* Electricity: ~$120
* Water: ~$70
* Internet: $65
* Insurance for both vehicles: $300
* Life insurance for both: $90
* Phone: $190
* Extras:... a lot. We eat out too much, go go on vacations, we go on day trips... yeah I know. It all stops now. | We are broke despite being able to support ourselves on paper. Help me find a budget we can stick to and not freak out when an emergency happens? |
t3_l1vcv | AskReddit | Frustrated With My Girlfriend's... Ex. | Ok, so, my girlfriend has this ex. From what I can tell, he was a big part of her life for a few years and have dated off and on. He's incredibly handsome and apparently, "hung like a horse." She likes to mention every once and awhile how good the sex was. This weekend, she's going up his way to visit her friends, when she gets a text from him...
He's finally moving out of his parent's house, and wants her to visit his new apartment once he gets home from work Friday night. She then starts showing me all the texts where he's been hitting on her, asking what she's wearing, what she's doing, etc...
This isn't the first time. He often hits on her through texts/phone calls even though she's told him about me - several times. He just won't give up. To top it off, she just started a new regime of birth control and her hormones are raging. Great.
I know if the tables were turned, and I walked in saying that my (way better looking, extremely good in bed) ex wanted to see me this weekend. After she got off work at her new apartment. Then I proceeded to show her texts of us flirting, she'd fucking flip the bitch!
I've been honest with her and she knows that I'm a bit jealous and I think he should just give it up already. I also know she's turned down other guys hitting on her in the past, because she doesn't want to ruin what her and I have. After she let me read the texts they sent to one another she finished with, "I can't wait to to see the look on his face when I say that I'm still dating you. *Again!*"
I don't want to come off as completely paranoid: I've been cheated on before, actually walking in on an ex and the other guy doing the deed. I don't want to be a jerk, but she's really been pushing this subject for the past week and a half and it's wearing me down.
Then again, maybe I'm just coming off as a whiny bitch. | My girlfriend got an invite from her handsome, incredibly amicable ex to help him move into his apartment Friday night. I'm not going to be there. It is driving me nuts. |
t3_2vqgs3 | jobs | In direct contact with a senior executive in a million $ company. How should I go about landing a job | Background: Through a contact, I have been put into direct contact with a senior executive in a major million $ tech company. I want to work for them and through the brother of the senior executive, I have a online meeting through email. I have to initiate the contact via email and do not know what to talk about.
I am fresh out of university and want to land a entry-level Business Analyst job. I want to work for this company and the senior executive could possibly get me a job. How should the conversation go to steer it towards me getting hired.
Any tips, suggestions or comments will be appreciated. | I can directly talk to a senior executive of a multi million $ tech company I want to work for. I am looking for a entry level Business Analyst job. Help me strategically talk to him with the goal of getting hired. |
t3_27wqkf | relationship_advice | [23/m] should I care about what my girlfriend posts on tumblr | It's been 3 months. We have decent relationship otherwise. she always texts, stays the night, occasionally talks about how much she likes me, and i feel like i can trust her. However she has a tumblr that occasionally she posts stuff like "boo hoo im so sad about my shitty ex-bf" (not literally that, but just stuff similar to that). I understand that she might occasionally think about getting fucked over and want somewhere semi-private to post it, the only time i've confronted her about it she said "i intended it to be kinda private, like a diary".
However it pisses me off, because i'm sitting here trying to cheer her up because shes all boo hooey over an ex? fuck that... So basically I've started to take the route of ignoring her tumblr and her infrequent whines about being sad about an ex. | should i ignore my gf's tumblr post that wine about some dead-beat guy she dated before me? they are pretty infrequent and nothing else seems to be wrong. |
t3_2r9uid | relationships | Me [20F] feeling jealous of my ex-boyfriend [20M] and friend | A few weeks ago, I broke up with my boyfriend of 11 months. It ended on good terms and we wanted to remain friends. We decided to go no contact, which was easy to do because it was right before we both went home for the holidays. I thought I was doing well in getting over him. However, I get irrationally jealous when he speaks to my friend/roommate.
Before we dated, he liked her/asked her out a bunch of times, and they even had a one night stand. In the end nothing happened (she turned him down I think), it blew over and he started dating me. I was kind of insecure about it while we were dating but I gradually got over it and everything was fine.
We are all in the same friend group (I know, that was a bad idea) so we see each other a lot. Also, the holidays are ending so I will have to go back to seeing them fairly regularly. I just get so hurt and jealous when he is so happy and friendly towards her and doesn't give me the time of day. Which is reasonable, she is not his ex, I am. But I sometimes can't help but wonder if he is going back to liking her, or liked her better all along.
I know I have no reason or right to be jealous but I just don't know if I can stand it. It's completely irrational because during our relationship he assured me he was completely over her, and she has a boyfriend right now. I don't know if its in my head but I notice he pays a lot of attention to her. I feel really guilty for feeling this way but I don't know what to do. | Ex and friend had a thing before he dated me. Now that we've broken up, I get irrationally jealous about their relationship. |
t3_2cgw7s | relationships | I (F 22) want to have my cake and eat it too (M 26). | My relationship is good. We have been together a little bit over two years. We live together and things are about average. Sex is decent, he helps me clean mostly...however,
I am only 22. I have not had any serious long term relationships before this one. He has had many more than I have. At least 5-6 exes. This is what makes me self conscious. He is at that age where he is ready to settle down yet I have not even begun to date yet beyond him.
Our relationship is almost ideal. Good sex, good communication, good living arrangements. We have a dog together. I might be in love with him? I have no idea, because I have nothing to compare it to! I have not had any serious relationship before this. I have no idea what is out there. I am a girl who loves sex. I love boys. I also love my significant other. Yet, restricting myself to him for the rest of my life is terrifying to me.
He is at that age where he is ready to get married. I am definitely not. However, I don't want to miss out on this chance if he is the right one for me.I want more dating exposure. I want more sex exposure. However, I do not want to lose what I have if it is a good thing.
Do I end it? I think I love him? I have no idea what that means! Do I suggest an open relationship? Do I try to take a break? Do I just grin it and bear it? Don't forget that we live together for at least another year. Has anyone else been in this situation? | I think I love my boyfriend, but it is too early to me to settle down. Yet, we are already doing so. What do I do! |
t3_2lw08m | offmychest | I have to play video games I don't like to keep my friends. | Namely League of Legends. The game doesn't really pique my interest anymore. At any point of the year, any day, any hour, any minute, there will be at least 4 friends I know in real life from college who are on League of Legends and are willing to play a game. Some of my friends just won't stop playing it, for a lot of them, it's their only hobby and 'thing' they do in their life, apart from studying.
As a student of Asian descent with overbearing parents who call me every second of my life about how I'm studying, I have very limited time to play games, do sports, watch anime and movies, do volunteering and hang out with other friends. The time I do spend playing games is almost always spent playing league of legends, with the aim of keeping some of my closest friends. I mean we share other interests, but LoL is always at the top of their conversation list. Conversations always find themselves ending with some mention of the recent patch changes to the game. I enjoy the game the most when I'm in the loading screen and am able to talk to said friends.
I did a little experiment, and uninstalled the game for two weeks. The results were astounding. It was as if I barely knew them, we would pass each other on the stairs with a "'sup", when before, we would stop to talk, about more than LoL. It's as if LoL is the catalyst with which I can delve deeper into conversation with some of my close friends.
This really annoys me, and I feel better getting it off my chest, I would be grateful for some advice :) | I play league of legends in order to main relationships with my friends, when I don't play it, it's as if they don't know me. |
t3_46w5gv | relationships | My [23M] Girlfriend [21F] of 4 months had cheated on me and confessed, but now new details are being revealed | Back in November my girlfriend had a bad night involving alcohol and an argument with family that ended in her going to a friends house, making out with him, and passing out in his bed. She apologized and confessed the next day and our relationship continued normally.
Now she is abroad for a couple months and her best friend came up to me and revealed that she was there that night and that wasn't the whole story. There was more that happened in the bed and possibly more events in the relationship i am being lied to about.
I got the phone number of the guy she cheated on me with intending to text him. I facetimed with my girlfriend to ask what really happened and she said that what she had said before was 100% true. I wouldn't be mad that it happened especially considering the circumstances, I'm mad that she spun this web of lies after in order to make it seem like it didn't happen. How do I find the truth? Does the truth even matter? I can't break up with her if i don't have proof, and he will likely deny that it happened because she will have told him to not say anything. | Girlfriend half-confessed to infidelity and I don't know how to treat her or how to catch her in her lie |
t3_pivec | relationships | xpost from r/askreddit! help my girlfriends bff is ruining shit! | Please i need some advice because its aggrivating the FUCK out of me. She is EVERYWHERE. I can't be with my girlfriend without
A) her talking bout her bff or
B) her bff calling her for w/e gossip dumbshit reason.
Seriously, I want to randomly chat/skype/hangout and I can't because her friend just waltses into her house like its ok and im stuck at home being a dumbass.
A lil on bio on her bff: She is the basic jersey shore/bronx white slut type who goes "Like, OMG, right? like...yeah and so he was like and she was like" She is trying to influence my girlfriend to be who she isnt, an uggs wearing bleached hair materialistic girlfriend.
A lil bio on my girlfriend: She is a firefighter, has grown up fast, knows her shit, very good grades in school and loves and cares for me so much!
What am I supposed to do?! i cant afford to lose my girlfriend into a materialistic world, she means way too much to me.
please help r/relationships! your my only hope! | My girlfriends best friend is way too in the way of our relationship and trying to change her. and i have no idea what to do about it |
t3_47jo3j | tifu | TIFU: By Remarking on a sandwhich | In the south we have the shopping nirvana known as Publix. Publix takes all of your woes of shopping and sweeps them neatly into aisle 4. The the deli of these places is sublime...and generally higher end. It is at the sub ordering section of this deli that my fuck up occurred about 2 weeks ago.
I was with my friend who has recently returned to the states after living abroad for 10+ years and therefore hadn't been washed in the river of publix sweet tea indoctrination. We were ordering subs before heading out. He had his and I had mine. Minor detail, he had been on a diet.
At the sandwich station next to us, America was being make great again. It was a bueat of a sandwhich: Chickentenders, 2 cheeses, bacon, and shiracha. Then they tossed this erection of a sandwich into a press. My friend remarks on the glory, asking what it was. To which I respond "Its diabetic glory between some freshly made bread". We chuckled and had our fun.
Turns out, it wasn't flop sweat america that was planning on ordering it. But was a VERY pregnant woman with spot on cravings. I was slapped and reminded of such. | Super tasty but unhealthy sub was being made. I said it was a gross person who ordered it. She was pregnant and not gross. |
t3_27vqv9 | relationships | I [20F] have been seeing my boyfriend [23M] for about 2 months now. Could really do with some advice. | Before we got together I hadn't been in a relationship for a very long time, but we got together very quickly after meeting, which is unusual for me, usually I end up dating my friends.
He's an awesome person but I sometimes find it hard to talk to him. It's not like we have no common interests but I'm not sure if he's right for me. I don't feel fully myself around him. But when I'm with him I'm so happy.
I can't tell if I'm attracted to him or the intimacy (cuddling up, sex, having someone to call my own), do I break it off before it gets too serious? Or see how it goes after another month?
Maybe I just don't know him well enough yet? | not been in relationship for a long time until now, don't know if I've rushed into relationship and attracted to the intimacy and not him. |
t3_54rdrj | relationships | My (M24) Thai Girlfriend (F22) | This summer I met a girl on a dating site and really hit it off. At first we decided it should maybe just be a summer thing since she was a J1 student here to work and travel for the summer and going back home to Thailand in September . As time passed we got really close and fell in love. She has recently gone back to Thailand but we have been keeping in touch a few times every day. We are really into eachother and we have talked alot about maybe getting married so we can be together. I know it may seem like not enough time to be thinking of marriage but I have been in long term relationships for like 2 and 3 years and never considered marriage before. Maybe just due to the difficulty of this relationship is most likely why.
What I was not aware of were Thai traditions of a dowry, and that that her parents should expect somewhere from 30k since she is so beautiful and has a college education. She says it is just a gesture and that her parents would most likely not plan to keep it.
I wondered if anyone had any experience with Thai culture or if you have been through this. What steps could I take to get her here or maybe find a way for her to live here without getting married? Not because I don't want to , but I do not want to offend her parents by marrying their only daughter without a gesture. | I'm in love with a Thai girl and I want to marry her but traditions require a dowry of probably 30k. What should I do to be with her? |
t3_4gsz0r | college | Professors think I'm cheating | So I am retaking a computer science class. I am in my freshman year, and this is the first class I have ever retaken in my life. The first semester I got a C- and I need a C to take the next course. I was doing well so far this semester, but then I noticed a bunch of my project grades dropped to a 0. I checked the note next to my projects and they said "Same exact code as ..." But the thing is I haven't cheated on any of my projects, and I have no idea who the person they accused me of cheating with is. The professors don't grade the projects themselves, but have a computer program to do it. I am sure I did not cheat, and they want to meet with me to discuss this. If anything I found examples of code online and used that as reference, but I don't think that should qualify as cheating. Please help I would be crushed if something serious as expulsion happened. Also any advice would be great such as how to set up a meeting with the dean, or what to say to an advising counselor. Thanks in advance! | Professors think I plagiarized on my projects, because of their automatic grader. I didn't cheat and need to prove my innocence. |
t3_27k3v0 | loseit | Looking for some encouraging words... | So I have been on this weight loss journey since mid January and everything has been going great. My weight loss has started to slow down a little but I'm okay with that as I'm still seeing changes.
But two days ago I decided to go a little further in my quest for health and give up smoking. I was a smoker at a young age, have it up when I got pregnant with my first daughter, started back up once I had her. And then quit again cold turkey when I found out I was pregnant with my son and stayed off for about 2.5 years. And I started smoking again when I went back to college this past November.
Anyways. The first day off was okay, but last night I started really noticing the cravings and ended up going to bed and reading to take my mind off of it. This morning it was instant. As soon as I woke up I wanted a cigarette. So I had to do something. And unfortunately it seems like I can't stop eating. I'm still calculating all of my calories and I haven't gone over but maybe 100-150 calories. And I even tried to distract myself from eating by cleaning the house this morning. And then I went back to eating.
Anyone here go through or is going through the same thing? The cravings seem to be getting worse. I'm trying to ignore them and I wish I could just go for a run whenever I start getting a bad craving, but can't.
Sorry for the rant, but I'm just maybe hoping for some encouraging words. | trying to stop smoking while on a diet is proving to be more difficult than expected. Need encouraging words! I don't want to undo all of the hard work I've done to lose weight. |
t3_mhnnt | AskReddit | Could someone explain to me why these recent Congress decisions could be considered in the best interest of the average person living in America? | I'm not trying to make a point here by saying there isn't a way to shed these most recent decision in a good light, i'm simply asking because i'd legitimatelly like to know how these will help me, my family, my fellow citizens, and America in general.
The first one i'm concerned about is the recent ruling that the CIA is to be held above the law, and cannot be touched by the Supreme Court. This really, really scares me.
The second is the most recent one about Pizza being a vegetable. I know why this was decided, but i still feel as an average citizen, it was a cheap way out of having school's serve healthy food.
And how will I, as an individual, benefit from an Internet Censorship bill being passed to 'stop piracy?'
There are a few others, i'm sure, so feel free to chip in. | Is it just me, or is Congress/The Supreme Court kind of losing it lately? Please, enlighten me otherwise. |
t3_2s7znr | jobs | are these jobs really worth it | hi, last summer i worked at an office 9-5 mon to fri for six weeks. it was boring as hell. all the people that worked there seemed boring as hell. all of it is repetitive, and until i retire? i have a feeling im gonna miss being in school. im 16 and i want to get a good paying job, but i dont want to be an entrepenaur or sum shit. is going to uni for like 4 years (excluding undergrad) to get a high paying job that worth it. go to bed at 11 or 12, wake up at 9, do errands after 5, what am i left with??? it seems that the kind of jobs you actually do shit outside or oncall, other than punching numbers, although pay shit seem satisfactory and less depressing. | what are the alternatives to being a fuking robot from 9-5 just to earn a decent pay, dosent seem like there are any |
t3_3itcwd | tifu | TIFU by sitting next to my ex on a 4 hour trip | This happened to me today. I always buy the same seat number when i travel because i am a bit paranoid, what if the bus crashes? i think, if i am seat on the front i can get very hurt, same goes for the back, so i seat in the middle, seat number 21 every single time. But today it was different, i got on the bus as usual, and there was a girl next to my seat, here comes the first fu, i didn't realize she was my ex, so i just said excuse me, and i took my seat.
I didn't realize who she was for the first half hour, until i saw her facial expresion because she thought i was ignoring her. I haven't seen such expresion of rage and dissapointment at the same time, obviously it was to late to say hi, so i spent the rest of the trip pretending i didn't see her, staring at the window and playing fallout shelter.
The most awkward part is that i had a fairly decent relationship with her family and they invited me to a birthday party like two weeks ago, it's going to be awesome. | sat next to a girl on the bus realizing she was my ex half hour later, too late to say hi, played fallout shelter for the next three hours |
t3_pms1v | AskReddit | Can a health insurance company be held accountable for misinformation given by a customer service representative? (USA) | About six months ago, I phoned my health insurance company to inquire whether a certain form of birth control would be covered under my plan. I gave the representative the specific codes that would be involved, and they assured me it was covered under my plan. I went ahead and got the procedure.
Fast forward several months, I receive notice that my claim had been denied, and I now owe about $2000 for the procedure. This is not a crippling amount of money, but I am upset about it because I was a responsible customer and verified with my insurance that it would be covered before I went in. Also, had I been informed that it *wasn't* covered I could have gotten it done at the wonderful Planned Parenthood for about $1500 less.
So far, all my appeals have been denied. They have my call on record, but have refused to acknowledge the error and are being general dicks about it. | Health insurance company assured me a procedure was covered over the phone, now refusing to cover it and saddling me with a couple thousand in medical bills. |
t3_g6p6b | loseit | I don't know if it's progress, but it makes me a little happy... | So, my boyfriend and I decided last week to cut sweets down to next to nothing and stop drinking soda altogether. It's been going well, the only day we really allowed ourselves sweets was yesterday (holiday) and we haven't had any soda, just water and crystal light.
Today we had our first weekly weigh-in. I lost a pound, I don't know if it's my shitty electronic scale or if I actually lost weight. I know just a pound can mean a lot of things but I'm still happy. Any input on if it's actually weight or not?
On the other hand, my boyfriend apparently gained about 6 pounds...he's okay but kinda frustrated, tips for him?
Basically we both just need support and advice. We're forced to eat at school cafeterias all week which are pretty notorious for shitty processed food. The only thing healthy (which we've been trying to eat more of) are raw fruits and veggies. Otherwise all they serve is crap, we're broke so we can't afford to buy our own food yet. So yeah, tips? | Boyfriend and I cut out sweets and soda, we weighed in today, I lost a pound, he gained 6. We're broke and forced to eat at a cafeteria with unhealthy food. Tips for both of us? |
t3_1xgsn1 | relationships | I have a friend that makes me feel horrible. What do I do? | About half a year ago I met a girl through a forum. She seemed nice enough at the beginning and we had enough to discuss. So we added each other on skype. There's when the difficulties started.
Our conversations started out friendly, but somehow she always 'misunderstood' me. Whenever I said something that could be interpreted in a wrong way, only the slightest thing, she would get angry. Even when I tried to explain what I meant. Those things happen over the internet, right? You can interpretate things wrong. But this happened very often, and things like that never happened to me. I have more friends, in real life and over the internet.
I learned she had some issues very soon. I never judged her for that and I told her it was okay and tried to be supportive. It was a pretty long list, but depression and trust issues were some of them. The longer we spoke, the more I felt like this friendship couldn't be right. She had the talent to make me feel horrible about myself and made it pretty clear she never trusted me, whatever I did.
A few days ago I told her I didn't think this friendship would work, but somehow we maintained it. She said I was being selfish and I was always talking about myself. Obviously, this was my fault. She made me feel horrible once again. But if she wanted to talk about herself, fine. I would let her.
Until today I wished her good luck talking to someone. She once again she somehow thought I was rude, so I told her I didn't mean to be rude. She didn't believe and said: yeah, right. So I had enough and walked away from it. Of course she's angry now. So my question is: what do I do? Please help me, reddit, I feel horrible.
Additional information: she's 15, I'm 18 | met a girl, became friends. Friendship turned out horrible, she makes me feel worse everytime we talk. What do I do now? |
t3_2qxa7k | relationships | Me (19m) and my mother (47f), who thinks she's a special snowflake. How can I help her? | I'm not sure where to begin with this since I'm not coming here after some calamitous event. I'm asking for help after a lot of self-reflection on the issue.
I do love my mom very much, but more and more often I've noticed that my mother will make excuses to justify to herself and others that she has done and said nothing wrong or is helpless in a situation. I think the best way to explain it is to list out some real examples.
1. I'm fat because I have a rare thyroid disorder (I saw a doctors report from last week confirming for the 7th time that she has no disorder, nor is she allergic to gluten)
2. My back is permanently messed up because you were a heavy baby when I was pregnant (someone please tell me this is a thing if it actually is...)
3. I don't trust you enough to treat you like an adult because [some human error I made at some point in my life]. But all of my mistakes were forced and unavoidable. (This circular reasoning still drives my dad up the wall, and now I realize he's not as short tempered as I thought)
4. I'm fighting with someone because they said did something to me unprovoked and got everyone else to hate me (usually turns out she did a dumb and was too proud to apologize instead of fighting someone)
5. If I try to reason or explain any of these things to her, she tries to cut me off until I apologize and accept that she's infallible.
Now the last one really ties into why I'm looking for solutions to making such people realize what's up. Because at 19 and going to one of the top schools in my country, there'll soon come a day when she tries to cut me off financially/emotionally, and I'll be perfectly content to go on with or without my mother in my life. However, since I do love my mother and would prefer it doesn't get to that point, i want to know how anyone else has dealt with similar people. | my mom will fight to the death before admitting she is flawed, even when visible to everyone else. How to approach seemingly unsolvable personality? |
t3_4lbrp4 | relationships | Me [23 M] with my [23 F] ex girlfriend will be seeing each other for 2 months straight over the summer. Advice? | My now ex-girlfriend broke up with me a couple months ago. Phew, just saying that takes me aback, since it seems like an eternity since then. Anyway, the wound still feels fresh, yet healing ever so progressively, as this is the first time I've been broken up with. We are going to an intense music camp starting mid-June and will be around each other quite often throughout the program. She has disconnected me from all social media (not blocked; just unfriended, unfollowed, etc.) and so I have no idea what has been going on in her life since we broke up.
I need two pieces of advice. One: would it be too much to ask her to catch up on her life? One of the things that hurt the most from the break up is that she cut me out of her life completely. I still care about her and want to hear about her current situation and life. Is that asking for too much or imposing something that isn't necessary?
Two: what is the best way to handle seeing and interacting with her this summer? I feel like once I see her, the scab will be ripped from the wound and I will start the healing process all over again emotionally. Please just give me some general or even specific guidance as how to handle these hard months. Thank you so much! | I am going to be in the presence of my ex-girlfriend in a small environment for two months straight. Advice? |
t3_2nrbky | relationships | Me [22] with my now ex [21F] girlfriend, had a good, then, terrible ending. | okay, so bit of a long story here (sorry). My ex girlfriend and i broke up about a month ago. i was with her for 11 months and 20 days and we were incredibly in love during this period. However she had depression (and still does to my knowledge). We ultimately decided to break up because she and I both felt that she wouldn't be able to get over it, with me being a safety net for her. She relied on me for her source of comfort and happiness to an incredible degree (which, loving her, I was happy to do).
However we were both amicable with regard to the break up. during the actual "break up talk" we both said how much we loved each other, and how difficult it would be and how we both wished to remain in each others lives.
Now the hard part.
Two days later she slept with someone else, and posted to Tumblr about it, which is how i found out, and obviously would find out. She also told my best friend and my room mate about it. That hurts, but isnt why i'm posting regarding to it.
When i talked to her about it she said that she "see's sex differently" and that I should of fought harder for her if i didn't want this to happen.
I honestly was trying to help her get through her difficult mental position by us breaking up, but this has killed me. Am I just Naive? Is this just her current mental state dealing with the situation? Or have I just bet on the wrong horse?
I honestly don't know how to deal with this. If anyone has been through a similar situation and can shed some light or just some advice or even some constructive criticism, all is appreciated. | My girlfriend and I broke up for good reasons, but her sleeping with someone else so soon has killed me. is that dumb? |
t3_52902t | relationships | My [25/F] MIL [50s/F] walked in on my husband [28/M] and I having sex, and now she keeps directing these weird remarks at me. | We've been together three years, married three months. His family invited us to join them on a trip. Our first day there, SO and I decided to have a quickie before dinner.
We gave his mother a spare key card to our room just in case, but we did not expect her to use it. I guess we were running late for dinner. She came up to see what was taking so long, tried to open the door, unlocked it on her own (even though we put the do not disturb thing up) and caught us. She stared for a second and then ran out embarrassed. My husband and I burst out laughing. He closed the door, we finished ~~because we're monsters~~ and went down to dinner expecting some awkward laughter and a joke or two.
MIL usually makes the innocent sex joke here and there so we didn't expect her to be traumatized or anything. But she has really made a point to direct weird, shameful remarks at me. Implying I'm a *hussy* for fucking my husband, while conveniently ignoring the fact that she ignored all the signs and unlocked the door on her own.
SO has tried to talk to her but she "can't look at him". The rest of the family has no idea what happened. | on family trip. SO were having sex in our hotel room. MIL has spare key. She unlocked the door and walked in on us. Now she keeps trying to make me feel bad for having sex with my husband. |
t3_1h89c1 | relationship_advice | I'm (31m) in love with my crush/friend/roommate (28f). And I don't know if I should tell her.... | As the title says I'm in love with this girl. We've known each other for over 10 years and there have been instances of flirting and even a failed alcohol assisted hookup in our past. I wanna lay it all out there and tell her how I feel for better or worse, but there's a part of me that is also hesitant because I'm not 100% sure where she stands on her feelings towards me. The other thing that kills me is everywhere we go people always think we're a couple and tell us how cute we are together and how we complement each other. I just want to actually have to for once say yes we are instead of being asked why not.
(Sorry if this doesn't make sense and is all rambling. Its late and I'm a bit sleep deprived at the moment.) | in love with longtime crush/friend/roommate and for some reason looking for internet strangers' advice/opinions on how to proceed. |
t3_44yh0c | relationships | Me [21F] with my boyfriend [33M] of 3 months, should I be concerned with the type of porn my BF watches? | My current boyfriend is 11 1/2 years older than I am. He let me use his computer the other day and without even trying I found his porn searches (he didn't clear his history and key words would show up whenever I searched something).
A lot of what he was looking at were videos of barely legal teens and young incest stories (e.g.: brother walks in on younger sister). I found that to be very disturbing. Im the youngest girl that he has ever dated and he tells me every time after he cums, that its so easy to come with me and that it wasnt like this with his other girlfriends.
Should I be concerned? Does it sound like he just has a thing for younger girls? It makes me feel as though he won't want to be with me as I grow older and is only with me because he is attracted to the taboo aspect of it. How should I approach him with my concerns?
We both work for the government and make the same money. Im very independent and this relationship isn't abusive in an way. But I did feel very dirty when I saw what he likes to look at.
Everything else in the relationship is great. Ive met his family/friends and we often talk about our future together. | I think that my boyfriend might only be attracted to younger women. Should I be concerned? How do I approach him with this? |
t3_3xp8ww | Cooking | Cooking my first roast this Christmas | Hi,
I'm going to be cooking a 2.8kg pork roast this Christmas, and I've never done one before, or used a meat thermometer, I've researched cooking time/temperature, and I think I'll be using 30 minutes at 210°C and 2 hours at 180°C.
What I can't seem to find out is this: how far away from the bone the thermometer should be placed? Most pages just say 'away from the bone', without saying how far away.
Can anyone with experience with this give me some advice? I'd also appreciate any other advice about roasting pork.
If anyone wants to know, the vegetables I have are: pumpkin, sweet potato, potato, carrot, zucchini. | where do I put the thermometer in relation to the bone? I'd also love any other advice about roasting pork. |
t3_3hf2px | relationship_advice | Did i just ruined our [17M&17F] friendship by kinda confessing to her? | Context: We have been like close friends in the same HS year for like 2 years. Like very close. We shared a lot of things in common and were in kinda the same social circles. I have given her many signals.
So, basically we were in a disco like 1 hour ago. We went to buy drinks (we already were drunk). When we were talking (alone) i made the sign to come closer to my mouth. I told her: When you are free i want to start dating you (Context: She is in a serious fight with his BF right now). She bursted out laughing. I asked why. She said it was beacause she was drunk and that she doesn't date guys from her same HS (we are both seniors). I said: So, when we finish school it could be? She laughed again and went away. What to do now. I think i have ruined our friendship. What to do? | Kinda conffesed to best friend. Did she rejected me or what? Im confused. Should i talk it with her? |
t3_4vndrq | relationships | Am I [24F] obligated to tell roommate [25F] about my gun? | Hello Reddit!
So I live in an apartment with a friend from college and recently we rented out the third bedroom to a random from Craigslist. When we discussed the apartment and talked for the first time I mentioned mounted shooting as one of my hobbies which didn't really trigger a reaction from her. I keep my gun unloaded in a concealed gun locker in my room, which I also lock with a key when I am not there. The gun is legal and properly registered.
I don't see a reason to tell her about the gun and where I keep it. It would have probably made her SUPER uncomfortable to be by herself in a strangers house who casually mentions they are strapped and a sharpshooter when she came to visit. My friend believes that she should know about it, but I really don't think its necessary. If she was strongly opposed to guns, she would have likely reacted to mounted shooting being a hobby of mine. I don't wave it around, and I would prefer if a random from Craigslist didn't know where I keep it until we all get to know each other better. What do you think reddit? Is it my moral obligation to tell her this before she signs the year lease? FWIW we live in a urban east coast area that was formerly a part of the Confederacy. Guns aren't uncommon.
ETA: So I mentioned it to her just now and as Redditors from LA mentioned she kind of freaked out. Totally didn't know what mounted shooting was and was all like "the idea of a gun in the space is a huge no". She hasn't responded to my offer to store off site for the year, so I don't yet know if just me having a gun in general is a deal breaker. Which would be kind of silly, I'm a federal employee that has been thoroughly vetted and am certified to carry (but don't have a gov issued weapon, only took the course so I can when/if I do get promoted) Thanks for all the replies! I read them all even if I didn't respond! | Random craigslist roommate in my apartment. Didn't seem to mind that mounted shooting was a hobby of mine. Should I explicitly tell her about the gun I keep in a locked safe in my room? |
t3_3emz51 | relationships | Me (20M) broke up with girlfriend (18F) after two and a half years. How to stop the panic attacks? | Hey Relationship Sub,
My ex girlfriend broke up with me a month today. I've been out seeing other girls and hanging out with mates so time hasn't been badly spent but I often have moments where I see something that just makes my brain go blurry and heart rush. This all started when I 'stalked' her Instagram (I know, bad idea) and saw she upload a photo I took when we went on holiday a few months before we broke up.
I don't understand why she did this as I'm sure there is plenty of other things to upload and everytime she comes to mind it always goes back to that same blurry mental thing. I haven't spoken to her since the breakup and it was all done online so there was little closure (although I doubt it'd help).
How did you deal with these thoughts, did you let your brain contemplate than forget or try and find ways to stay busy hoping it doesn't come back?
Thanks everyone! | Ever since I saw a photo of my ex that I took of her on holiday before we broke up, minor panic attacks (I think?) and I'm not sure how to keep my mind busy. |
t3_1zd4s4 | relationships | I am a [22 M] with a 3 month girlfriend [23F], not sure how to bring up sex again since she said "I'll think about it" a few weeks ago | Hey y'all,
I'm a college senior and have had a girlfriend for about 3-4 months. So fair, it's been a wonderful ride with only minor speedbumps, but we haven't had sex. As far as I know, both of us are virgins, so the topic is a little weird to bring up.
About two weeks ago, I asked her if she wanted to have sex, and she replied "I'll think about it." So far, she hasn't given me a reply, and I haven't brought it the topic again. We've been on a few dates and hung out a decent amount since then, especially as it was her birthday last weekend.
How should I approach this? I really like her, and don't want to lose her, but at the same time, I'd like to have sex with her. I don't want to pressure her, but dammit, I'm horny.
**bold | GF of 3 months said she's "think about it" when I asked her if she wanted to have sex. It's been two weeks, and I haven't gotten an answer. How should i approach this? |
t3_u5qoc | AskReddit | Should I have called the cops instead of attempting vigilante justice, just now? | About 20 minutes ago, I heard screaming outside. I live in a rural little college town which is normally very quiet this time of night. Looking out the window, I saw two or three men carrying a sobbing, hysterical girl down the street. I froze for a second as my mind tried to check itself and make sure I wasn't misinterpreting the situation.
Hearing her screaming "STOP" and sobbing, and seeing a few other guys carrying her toward their apartment, I grabbed my cell phone and my heavy-ass tent spike (personal safety weapon of choice) down into the street and yelled at them. They yelled back, "She's okay!" That's when I noticed my neighbors were outside on the line with the police. They said they saw one of the guys punching her.
The cops had the guys down on the ground. I left about then because I am on probation (Mary-Jane related) and want to keep my distance from legal discrepancies (I can be arrested just for being present when a law is broken..Don't want to test the state's willingness to bring in extra cash). It seems the problem was resolved. I have no idea if anyone was arrested or what was really going on.
My hesitation to call the police comes from a deep mistrust of authority figures, cops in particular. I have seen too much abuse of power, firsthand, secondhand, and numerous videos online.
So, am I completely dumb for attempting to defend a woman who, for all I know, was about to be raped and beaten? Should I have called 911 instead? Any stories of similar experiences would be appreciated.
I should note that I am a clumsy 5'3 woman who has never been in a fight in my life. They most likely would have pummeled me. | Instead of calling the cops I rushed into the street with a tent spike to defend a women being carried screaming into an apartment by some men |
t3_1ycb7x | relationship_advice | [17/m] need help with my long time (17/f) friend | Hey RA, throwaway here as she knows my real account name.
So there is that girl that i know since the elementary school. She is the most emotional person i know, and ive always liked her in some way.
We have been speaking somewhat a lot for the past 3~ years, and during that time she has admitted liking me and after some time - liking another guy, but i didnt really that stuff seriously as she is so moody.
Lately we got into a small conflict, but after some time she apologised me and saiid that she would like us to forget that disagreement.
That was nice, so i started speaking to her a lot, but now im kind of thinking she is cold. She barely replies and almost never starts a conversation.
Deal is, were going to a concert pretty soon, and im really confused. I asked her if anything's wrong, and she said that everything is great.
Lately ive been thinking a lot and decided that I definately like her more than just a friend, and on the other hand - I really dont want to ruin our friendship by her refusing me. | i dont know how to act with my long time friend which is really moody. were going to a concert really soon, and i dont know if i should say something serious to her or wait a little. |
t3_17xqc1 | tifu | TIFU by falling asleep at work and shitting myself | This actually happened yesterday.
I have a tendency to get really, really bored at work - because we have long periods of downtime. To keep myself awake I try to make myself physically uncomfortable. On my way in yesterday morning, I knew I had to drop a deuce, so I figured I'd hold it til after work to get me through the day.
It didn't help. About 10am, I'm staring at the clock waiting for my next task to be ready. A minute later my boss nudges my arm and tells me to go home and get some sleep - I had fallen asleep watching the clock.
So on the drive home, I'm annoyed at myself. I decide to stop by my parents house to pick up some CAT6 I had left over there. As I pull off the highway I start coughing. The cough takes me hard (I'm recovering from a chest cold still) and I feel my asshole pinch for a minute, and an uncomfortable lump under me...I had coughed loose a small bit of dookie.
Get to my parents and immediately bolt to the washroom. Sure enough, little globules of crap clung to my underwear.
So Reddit, yesterday I fucked up. | Yesterday, I held in my crap to stay awake, it didn't work, and after getting sent home from work I crapped myself in the car. |
t3_3zbm42 | tifu | TIFU by doing the sack race | This was years ago when I was a kid, but still a fuck up.
When I was around 9/10 it was the school sports day, I was that clumsy kid terrible at sports. This was the first time I was ever first place (I distinctively remember, it was very rare) and I was so excited that I fell in the sack and broke my arm. None of my teachers believed it was broken, so they gave me an ice pack and sent me back to school.
Got back and after doing school work we got to our afternoon break and I fell down the stairs and my leg was bleeding so they sent me to the first aider. She noticed my arm was out of place and called my mum.
Got my cast eventually after waiting hours in E.R, I was the coolest kid in school until the sack race got banned from sports day. | Fell over in the sack race, broke my arm, got ignored, fell down the stairs then got the sack race banned. |
t3_50j539 | relationships | My boyfriend (28/m) compliment made me (24/f) very uncomfortable | I have a few white patches on my body. Normally, it is fairly hard to see because it blend with my skin. But lately I have been getting more tan.
So... Now it is pretty visible if someone is close.
I have been seeing my boyfriend for about 2 months. I have always been careful about having light off whenever we are having sex or anything like that.
But he keep asking if we can at least use candle. I thought he wouldn't be able to see them.
So... Yesterday when he was rubbing my back, he leans close and whisper that he think my patches are beautiful and even play with them some and kissed each one of them. He went on to said few more compliments and say he love how unique they are and all that.
I was mortified. I have always hate those spots. So I find it hard to believe that he really think they are beautiful. Yet he seems so genuine. But it still make me uncomfortable. Not sure what to think or what I should do... | Boyfriend just found out I have few white spots on my body and talk about how beautiful he find them. I hate those spots so much. I don't know what to do... |
t3_2pcm8q | relationships | Me [19F] with my roomates [20F, 20-25 M] and the passive aggressive bathroom notes. | So we share a flat with 3 boys and 2 girls, the girls (Alice and me) have their own bathroom, the guys have their own bathroom each with shower and one toilet. Two weeks ago, Alice posted in our bathroom "Please use the flush after an emergency" which is funny, but had me slightly paranoid that I was not flushing (I shared a flat with a landlady who was overly paranoid about bathrooms). I was SURE it wasn't me however.
The note disappeared last week, only to reappear this morning with "Please flush, it is rude and disgusting!". This again had me in a slight paranoia because I didn't feel well yesterday and let the toilet have it. I was sure I flushed though. Like definitely sure.
I think one of the guys must have used the bathroom in the rush hour and forgot. How do I tactfully bring this up to her/them so she doesn't think it's me who's being a slob and they don't get annoyed too? | Someone forgot to flush resulting in passive aggressive notes. How to tactfully ask without sounding like the culprit and no feelings are hurt? |
t3_4j4hu6 | relationships | Me [30 M] with my gf [29 F] of nearly a year. Moving in together: is there a red flag? | I am in a relationship for almost a year now with someone I care deeply about. She used to live with me for a couple of weeks last year, and it worked very well. Also, we're spending most of the time together since. We knew back then that my flatmate is leaving the apartment this year, and it seemed reasonable to ask her to move in with me.
She was somewhat reluctant at first, because she doesn't want to be physically depending on someone else, but then agreed that it's time to make the next move. We don't have space for both our things, so she'd have to leave many things behind. We agreed to move her bed and closet. The rest is going to be stored in the garage
Now that we're getting closer to the date, she asked me to sort out things that might remind me of my past relationships, such as old love letters and post cards, and store it in the garage as well. It feels like I'd have to deny my past for her. She argues that she's giving up a lot for me, and thus I should be willing to give up my ex's keepsakes. Is she reasonable?! | my gf is asking me to get rid of reminders of past relationships, but it's a part of my life. How can I convince her that there's no reason to get rid of it. Is living together a bad idea?! |
t3_1j6xeu | relationships | I [20M] just found out from my little sister [12F] that my kid cousin [12M] is smoking. How do I handle this? | I found out tonight my 12 yr old cousin is smoking. He's a good kid who has developed a reputation as one of the cool, popular kids since starting at a new school in September last year, and I think it has gone to his head somewhat.
I don't know how to deal with this cos I don't want to grass on the daft dick to his parents, on point of principle as well as the fact his younger brother is very autistic and is a stress on his mother enough.
Though we're not very close, I suppose I am as close to an older sibling that the boy has and as I've ducked in and out of smoking habits unbeknownst to the family, I really don't want him on that path. I hate to think what other stupid choices the kid will make in order to look cool if he doesn't get any guidance.
If he was older, I would just leave it but his age really concerns me.
Am I being over-protective?/Should I tell his ma? Talk to him? I really don't think I can leave this one, it will really upset his family. Help! | Kid cousin has been smoking to look cool. I don't know what action, if any, is appropriate to take. |
t3_1ppnbw | relationships | GF[22F] of one year, has no backbone when it comes to her friends, is it my[23M] place to help/change that? | My gf[22F] very much dislikes confrontation and lets herself be pushed around a lot when things look like they could be an argument. She would rather capitulate or come to an unfavorable compromise than voice her opinion.
The two most recent examples of this happened in the last few weeks. We go to school a few hours apart so we skype a lot. Last night I wanted to get a little dirty over skype while her roommate was out and so I told her to make sure her door was locked so she could give me a show. She says she can't lock the door because her roommate gets mad when she comes home and the door is locked and bitched at her for it, even though they both have keys. I said that was dumb and she should be able to lock the door when she is home alone, while she agreed she said she would rather avoid an argument and so she just lets her roommate have her way even if it makes her uncomfortable.
The second instance, on Tuesday she lent her friend almost $300 for a new laptop. I asked when her friend plans on paying her back and she said Thursday, we got into a back and forth about it and she said it was her money and she trusts her friend. Thurs came and I asked if she got paid back, she said no, and texted her friend asking about it. She never got a response back. Today, she's hanging out with this friend and I ask again about her getting paid, she says sometime next week but not sure when, her friend has the money but is waiting for her checks to come in, she ordered some and is waiting for them. To me it sounds like her friend is stalling and I don't like seeing my gf be taken advantage of.
I know these are her choices to make and we don't share finances but I feel like one day we might, and it just seems irresponsible to me to give away that much money and not have any plans for repayment or let someone dictate how safe you feel in your own home. | GF[22F] let's friends walk all over her and I'm not sure what or if I[23M] can do anything about it. |
t3_2prhew | relationships | Me [27 M] with my GF[25 F] of 7 years, I love her but I think the spark is gone | Me and my gf have always had a volatile relationship. Our arguments get pretty bad and due to my mental illness (I'm bipolar) I blame myself for alot of it even now. I do think she's gaslighting me and feel like she's manipulative but I love her and the spark has been there for a good almost 7 years. That was until recently. About a couple months ago I met a girl online in a game and accidentally fell in love with her...she's no longer in my life but that's another story.
I fell in love with this girl because she understood me in ways that nobody has....ever....the truth is I was diagnosed bipolar 9 years ago and did crap about it until recently. I feel like this woman was bipolar too but again another story. During this time I decided to tell my gf about my diagnosis and receive help. She didn't react very well and she has only gotten slightly better.
I have since tried to breakup with her only for her to say she's going to kill herself to get me to stay. At this point I'm trying to make it work but....the spark is gone....I don't feel connected to her like I did that other woman...I just feel empty and depressed...I dunno what to do because now I'm trying to find women to fill a void that shouldn't even be there...I feel alone and it sucks...I can't leave her until I get my car fixed but I'm not even sure I can do it then...she has apower over me I can't explain... | I've lost spark but can't bring myself to breakup with gf and am actively seeking other women to fill an emotional void even though I'm not single yet...how can I make this breakup easier.... |
t3_kxtcm | cats | Why is my cat meowing? | I've had this cat for two years. Normally, she's very quiet; she only meows to greet someone or if she sees someone holding her bag of treats.
For the past two days, she's been walking around the house, meowing constantly. If the door to my room is closed, she'll sometimes scratch at the frame. As soon as I leave my room, she stops meowing; I don't even have to be in the same room as her, as long as I'm not in my room, the meowing stops. When I go back in, even if I just stand in the door way, she'll resume meowing.
If I ignore her, her meows will keep getting louder. If I talk back to her, she'll still meow, but softly. If I try to bring her in the room with me, she won't resist, but she'll walk (not run) out shortly after I put her down. However, I can go in the bathroom or any other room and close the door, and she won't make a noise.
I don't think she wants attention. At first, I'd go out and play with her when she meowed, but then I realized that she didn't always want to play when she was meowing. She also continued her meowing while other people were in the room with her.
At this point, I can't figure out why she's meowing whenever I'm in my room. The only thing I can come up with is that she might be in heat. Any ideas? | cat meows whenever I'm in my room, won't stay with me in my room, and doesn't seem to want attention. Why is she meowing? |
t3_1c0u0l | relationship_advice | Girlfriend [26/f] has gained weight, I [27/m] always have been. Am I a hypocrite for not being attracted to her now that she's fat? | Background info: I've always been heavyset, right now I'm 6'1 and 250 lbs. I've been living with my girlfriend for a year and a half. When we started dating, she was at a good weight for her height, maybe a tad overweight but not more than 5-10 lbs. And she was very sexy, at least in my opinion.
Since then, she's gained 20 lbs or so, and it shows. Here's the problem - I'd say that we're overweight by the same amount if you take our heights into account, so I don't feel like I have any room to complain. That said, because of her weight gain I'm just not as attracted to her as I used to be. I feel terrible about it, but that isn't changing my feelings on the subject. I try to keep in mind that I've got no room to talk, and I try to be supportive of her and tell her she's pretty but I think she can tell that I'm not being entirely truthful.
Does this make me a hypocrite? I assume so since I've got the exact same problem she has. But the one thing that gives me pause is that I started out this relationship the way I am now, whereas she didn't. Regardless, what's the best thing I can do for her to help her get back into shape? | I have always been overweight. Started dating a girl who wasn't, now she is. Not attracted to her anymore. What can I do? |
t3_2qx74m | relationship_advice | I [30/F] have a crush on my best male friend [42/M]. I think it might be reciprocated, but don't want to ruin my friendship. | Over the past month, I've found myself falling completely in love with my best male friend. Our friendship is great even though we live a distance apart. We communicate daily, we visit constantly (including week long "vacations" to each other's house).
I've been considering, seriously, just outright asking him if he wants to be more than friends. But I also know him well enough that it would make things uncomfortable if he doesn't reciprocate. So I haven't said anything for fear if breaking a friendship.
Meanwhile, he has been sending me mixed signals that he might be thinking the same thing. -A few times we've been out walking and he has sort of curled his arm around my waist and pulled me close, but he says it's because I "look cold". -He was telling this story about a past fwb relationship, and said that sex was too uncomfortable, like sleeping with his sister. Then he sort of motioned and said "like if you and I hooked up". -He talks about his relationships a lot. He will say how he has dating on hold until he finds the right girl, how crazy and possessive his one ex was, etc. -constantly calls me "the exception to all the rules" when talking about female friends. -Is constantly poking me, giving me back rubs, tackling me.... Enough that other people think we are dating. -Listed his favorite physical characteristics in a woman. None of my physical characteristics were on the list. -The last time I visited, insisted on tucking me into bed.
There's a ton more, that just leaves me baffled as to how he feels. Meanwhile, he has been sort of threatening to get back together with his one ex, who won't let him have any female friends. Last nights text said something along the lines that he doesn't want to date her, but doesn't want to be single anymore.
How can I test the waters to see if he is actually reciprocating my feelings? | crush on best friend. Mixed signals back. How to not break friendship but see if he likes me back? |
t3_32gvgy | relationships | Me 27m with my 27f GF of 1.5 years, how can I get her to stop using dating/hookup apps to make friends? | So this isn't as dramatic as some of the tinder or whatever posts, but I need to talk about it.
My girlfriend moved here for me about six months ago. She's been struggling to make friends because she works from home, doesn't have a lot of social hobbies, etc. So in order to make friends, she's talked to people on Craigslist. She has recently started using MeetMe, and I've seen her scan through tinder (though she deleted it the same hour I think) just in case. I know she made friends that way back where she lived before.
But I feel a little uncomfortable with how things are. She doesn't respond to flirty people and she makes it clear she's taken, but still. She says there's hardly any way to find new friends, and she looks at meet ups and she's been to a few but she didn't gel with anyone and many of them are just too crowded (a book club she tried to join had 30 people). I don't want to discourage her from making friends but I'm not totally on board with her doing it through a dating app.
How can I bring this up to her without it sounding like jealousy? I don't care what gender her friends are, I just don't want her being harassed and targeted by the kinds of guys who join those apps.
She's interested in books, art, sewing, crafting, beer, and she works out but does it alone and isn't interested in hiking or sports or anything like that. She's tried volunteering and enjoyed it, but didn't make any friends (they were too old or volunteering via court order). She gets along with most people and always talks to strangers in the store. I just don't know how else to suggest she make friends.
For the record, I know she's not cheating or interested in cheating. | GF trying to make friends, is using dating apps to do it. I'm uncomfortable and want her to stop, but don't want her to think it's out of jealousy or anything like that. |
t3_1808wr | relationships | M[20] worried about F[19]'s self-confidence. | We've been together for 4.5 months now, and her poor performance in class is making her, in her words, 'wake up and realize that she's not smart.' It started in the fall with a physics class that she did not do well at all in, to the point where she has to retake the class, and her reaction to a subpar French test grade is what made me ask this subreddit.
In the past, she says she's told herself that she 'just doesn't test well,' but now it's going past that, I think, to her ability in general. Last night she told me she's been questioning if she deserves to be a person; she has struggled with depression in the past, but since I've known her (over a year), it hasn't been a problem. She is also still in touch with her incredibly helpful therapist, with whom she might be speaking now.
I'm sorry if this is rambling, I'm just not sure what information is necessary. We just had a lunch where I tried to tell her how defeatist her attitude was--I probably didn't handle it as well as I could. The problem is, **I have no idea what to say to her to make her believe that going to class and *trying* is actually worth the effort. | After a string of bad grades, my girlfriend has just about given up on her intellectual potential. What can I do to make her feel like she can succeed again? |
t3_14lvt5 | pettyrevenge | When you assume, you make an ass out of U and...No, just you. | So a few years back, I was dating a girl who lived halfway between where I lived, and the next town over. She didn't have a car, so I did all of the driving.
I'm taking her home one afternoon, and driving down a stretch of highway with a speed limit of 65 (104 KMH). I'm driving nearly 75 (120) (as I was a young buck), when my girlfriend tells me the guy next to me was flipping me off. I look over, and sure enough, he is.
I feel the need to clarify that I had been minding my own business, and hadn't noticed him out of the thirty other cars that were near me, and I sure as hell wasn't messing with him at all...
Until now.
The fact someone would just assume that I was messing with them and then decide to flip me off for it was not cool, especially when I was clearly doing over the limit and he passes me like I was stopped. I gunned the engine and passed him again, making no indication I was the same person. I then found my moment. I noticed a semi up ahead was doing well BELOW the limit, so I pulled up next to him and matched his speed.
Douchenozzle catches up to me pretty quick, but is then forced to slow waaaay down as the semi and I were talking up all of the road. | Dude on the highway flips me off for no reason, passes me like I'm sitting still, so I speed ahead and trap him with a semi doing 10 under. |
t3_3pbcr3 | jobs | Considering completely moving to a new city. How do I get started? | I currently live in NYC, and I haven't had much luck finding a job. Yes, there should be plenty of opportunity here, but I just haven't found much luck. I have a BA in economics, but I made a last minute change to that major just to be able to say I'm a college graduate. Unfortunately, I didn't have any internships throughout college because I kept changing majors. I feel like that (meaning that I have no experience) is a huge part of why I'm having so much difficulty with just receiving a call back from the jobs I apply to.
Since I'm having so much trouble landing a job, I've considered completely moving to another state, or even another country if that means landing a decent job. I don't really have preference as to location or type of job, and ***that*** might be the reason why I'm having so much trouble landing a job. I don't have a specific job or field I want to work in. I feel like if given the opportunity, I can perform well in a job. Well, none of that matters unless I can actually land the job. Therefore, maybe I ought to look somewhere where it's less competitive? NYC is definitely a competitive area.
Not sure if this matters, but here's a list of jobs I had throughout undergrad: retail, physical/occupational therapy aide, bank teller, import operations, and now working in claims for an insurance company.
Moving on to my question: I've read that people had to save up some money (maybe around $3-5k) to get themselves started. Find a place to stay, and then they needed a few months to finally land a job. The problem is that even with a few months, I'm extremely discouraged in finding a job because of my difficulty with finding a job here in NYC. Also, I'm sure most employers don't want to hire someone on the contingency that the applicant is willing to move ONLY if s/he gets the job first.
Not sure if I've left anything out, but do you guys have any advice for me? | BA in economics, no idea what to do with my life, no direct experience for a career. If I moved to a new city, how do I get started? |
t3_3o6u63 | relationships | My friend [29 M] of 24 years wants to get revenge on me [31 M] because I shoved his face in some snow... | Today, a couple of friends and I went sledding up North. We were having a fine time, and I decided to shove my one friend's face into some snow as a harmless joke. He was totally fine, just a bit of numbness to his face, and it turned pretty red. He says he is going to get revenge on me, but he won't tell me when. He keeps threatening me and holding it over me, saying the revenge could come at anytime. I told him that he can't withhold the revenge, he has to enact it now. I feel there is a statute of limitations about revenge, and he can not keep waiting. Is he being childish or am I entirely in the wrong? | Shoved friend's face in snow and now he wants revenge but he won't tell me when it's coming. I told him he must get his revenge now. Who is right? |
t3_3avjw7 | relationships | Me [21F] just broke up with boyfriend of 2 years [23 M], Do you thinking breaking off all communication is necessary to get over him? | I met this guy in college 2 years ago and we've been dating ever since. I found out pretty late into the relationship that monogamy wasn't his thing. He had been sleeping around for a while and several times swore he would stop, but of course never did.
He was never malicious in his unfaithfulness, he just thought that being with one person was "unnatural," and as long as it didn't interfere with how we interacted it shouldn't be a problem. It's unfortunate, because other than this huge issue, we never really had problems.
I tried to break up with him a couple times, but he is my best friend at school, and I was really involved in the relationship, so the breakups never lasted.
The main reason I stayed with him was because I knew he was graduating at the end of the year, and then moving back home which was about 10 hours away from me. I figured I would just stick it out until then, as a breakup would be easier to handle if I wasn't always running into him on campus.
When the time came and he moved back home, we didn't want to be "just friends," but also he didn't want to date long-distance. So we've kept in contact but our communication isn't ideal.
My sister told me that he is just using me as a security blanket, and I need to move on. This means cutting off all communication until I'm "over him." I realize that I'm not the type of person that would be able to handle a relationship with cheating, so part of me thinks she might be right, but part of me isn't ready to let go.
I see where she's coming from, but I don't know if it's completely necessary. As unhealthy as our relationship may have been, he is still very important to me.
I guess I'm asking is a halt in all communication necessary? How do I approach this situation? Any advise is greatly appreciated. | Unfaithful (ex)boyfriend that I still have feelings for moved 10 hours away, do I need to cut off all communication with him in order to get over him? |
t3_3vvt89 | relationships | Me [18 M] and my girlfriend [18 F] of 6 months having small fights, and problems. Help? | So we've only been dating for a few months, but have been best friends for over a year and a half. We know everything about eachother: the goods and the bads.
Recently I severely injured my ankle so I couldn't go to the gym and do my normal physical activities. She claims ever since then I've changed and have become lazy. She says that I make excuses for a ton of things whether it be petty or something large. To and extent she is right, but I feel like she is being a little harsh.
How can I talk to her and help her realize that I'm trying my best to be the best boyfriend I can be and that it is impossible for me to be perfect.
I'm not looking for "break up" or "leave her". I genuinely want to fix this because I have been in love with this girl for about 3 years. | We have been dating for a few months, I need to talk to her about her being too critical about how I act. |
t3_2013g0 | relationships | Me [22F] with my friend [21M] of six years, I think he is depressed and I don't know how to help | He and I had always been close, but in the last year he's grown very distant. After going to college, we saw each other with far less frequency, but we would still talk online just about daily. I still considered him my best friend.
Probably starting around last summer, he started being less and less engaged in our conversations. His life, my life, new music, joint interests, doesn't matter. It's very hard to get him to respond to chats I try to start. His response frequency is sporadic and doesn't seem related to topic. He is also not interested in meeting up to hang out. He has a history of anxiety, but has never been to see anyone about it. Last February, he agreed he had a problem and needed to set up an appointment, but he never did.
He doesn't have a large network of people to talk to. He has a very poor relationship with his parents. They kicked him out when he was 20 and he's been living with his long-time girlfriend, who has cheated on him previously. Their relationship is highly co-dependent and I don't think either is very happy, but they are too afraid to break up. He works from home doing freelance software development/IT work. Other friends of his moved eight hours away last fall.
I am not sure what I can do to help. Obviously talking to him about either how he's feeling or trying to convince him to set up an appointment hasn't worked. And the fact that he seems so uninterested in our friendship is really starting to get to me and it almost makes me want to cut ties. But he's always been reluctant to act on his own behalf in his life. If something bad happens, he feels defeated and helpless instead of working to correct the situation. | I want to help my friend get help for what is at least serious anxiety and likely depression, but he is unresponsive to my attempts at contact and relatively socially isolated. |
t3_17sqcs | relationships | I [m16] don't know what to think. | This girl and I have been dating for 14 months. We're very open and honest with each other. I know her fb password, and I just like reading her messages. Nothing too protective, I honestly just like seeing how she talks to people.
First, some background. Her last relationship ended when she went to get cabin and met another guy who she totally fell for, which made her realize she didn't like the bf anymore. Basically, she cheated on him. She's past it and I wasn't too concerned with it. She's told me a while ago that they made out, and "nothing more".
Tonight, I was reading her messages with a friend of hers. They went back over a year, up until about a month after the cheating. In the messages, she told the friend that she snuck out whilst at her cabin and gave this guy a handjob. When I read that, I couldn't believe it. I feel sick just thinking about it. I understand why she wouldn't tell me that, but she's made the point many times that all they did was kiss.
I just don't know what to do. She'd be upset to know that I was snooping in a way, but I know I have to do something, even if it's just to post on reddit.
I have a feeling this'll get long...well, I guess this mostly bothers me because I know she still has a soft spot for this guy, even though they can only ever see each other once a year. I was terrified last summer that she would repeat the cheating, just out of my insecurity. And the idea that she cheated on a guy is bad enough to me, let alone that she gave a guy and handjob while she still had a boyfriend at age 16.
There's just a lot of insecurity welling up from me about her past and I don't know how to deal with it. | My girlfriend told me she only kissed this guy she cheated on her ex with, but I just found out that she went further and it's really bothering me. What should I do? |
t3_33hh5z | relationships | My SO[24 F] accepted friend request of her ex (8 years) who has threatened me before. | We've been together for 1 year, yesterday was our first anniversary but this month has been a weird one.
I feel like she's still gets curious to what her ex is doing sometimes, like he searches for him on facebook or reads his messages when she knows he'll just say things to try and get her back.
I've read messages where my SO's best friend says she misses my SO's ex.
Her ex calls and texts her all the time and she doesn't always tells me about it, and she also deletes facebook messages where she talkes about it.
We have talked about this and i tell her I can understand that they were together for 8 years and you don't just forget a person from day to another, but they broke up 2 years ago and it's starting to annoy me.
I want to approach her about this more seriously and with a firmer hand than before, please give me some advice. | SO accepts ex's friend request, her friends tell her they miss her ex. I'm getting annoyed by that, want to know how to approach. |
t3_ph71i | AskReddit | Dear hairdressers/barbers/ hairstylists of Reddit, I have a question to ask you that I've always wanted to know! Thank you in advance! | I just went to Mr. Toppers (a chain salon in the UK) for a haircut, and as usual, I don't know what to tell them when they ask "so how would you like it?" (mostly because I really dont know what style I'd like) , so I say "Whatever you think will look nice" which I say all the time.
They usually end up cutting it the same style (a sort of side parted style, short sides and slightly longer at the top) and its not because its the same stylist because being a chain store, they have a high turnover rate and I never get the same stylist.
so my question is: When someone says something like "whatever you think will look nice", do you actually think about a style that would flatter the person or is there some default style you guys fall back on? | when someone says "whatever you think will look nice" when you ask them what style they'd like, do you actually think about a style that would flatter the person or is there some default style you guys fall back on? |
t3_27z5dp | relationships | I am [21 M] wondering how to get over the anxiety to ask my friend [21 F] out? How do I get over the stress? | Whenever I think about going on a date, I'm always unsure of myself and not at all confident. Thoughts like "What does she think about this?", "What does she think about me?", etc. pop up in my head, and it stresses me out as hell.
I'm a bit socially awkward at times when I feel anxious about hanging out, even though I really want to. I want to get over this feeling, and not think about how awkward things could be and so on... It's super annoying, especially when I now want to ask this girl out and I don't know how to say it, how to approach, what to suggest we do, and how to feel about the "date" in general, when/if it happens. | How do I get over the anxiety to ask my friend out, and what could we do that isn't gonna be awkward? |
t3_ts9yx | relationship_advice | Embarrassment/avoidance/not sure what his deal is | I am a 35 yo F, he is a 40 yo M. I am divorced after 10 years of marriage, he hasn't been in a relationship for about 5 years.
So, we have been friends for about a year. We had always been attracted to one another, but never acted on those feelings until the divorce process really started rolling. We had mutually agreed to take things slowly and things appeared to be fine. We would text/talk every couple of days. This has been going on for about 6 weeks.
Well, earlier this week, I was over at his place watching movies/hanging out/what have you, when we started REALLY kissing. (We had previously had a few tame makeout sessions, but nothing more). Like, shirts off, I'm on top of him, heavy makeout session on the couch. And... it happened. Things ended prematurely, if you know what I mean. Hey, it had been a very long time. I wasn't angry about it; if anything, I thought it was really hot. We kissed and snuggled for about 20 more minutes, then I had to go (it was 2 in the morning by this time).
Now: nothing. I haven't heard a peep from him. I had texted something innocuous (thanks for dinner), and no response. It's been 2 days. I plan on texting again tomorrow if I don't hear from him.
I don't know if it's embarrassment on his part (which he shouldn't be), or if he thinks we went too far (we were trying to take things slow, after all). Any ideas on what to say? I really like him (both as a friend and potential lover) and don't want to freak him out. I've been out of the dating game for a long time and feel like a freaking high school girl again.
( | tried to take things slow with a new guy, premature ejaculation, now I haven't heard from him for a few days. WTF) |
t3_40q33j | relationships | My [23M] girlfriend [26F] doesn't seem to be over her old Tinder hookup | Backstory: I started dating my girlfriend in September of last year. Sometime earlier in the year she met a guy on tinder who was from out of state but in our town for the weekend. They stayed in touch and over the next few months she made multiple trips to visit him (6+ hour drive one way) and they were semi-serious. She ended up breaking it off because she didn't want to do the LDR thing.
Fast forward to a few weeks back, the two of us have been together for about 4 months now and I bought us tickets to see the local NHL team play one Friday night. We get to the game and she spends much of the time with her face buried in her phone. I happen to glance over at her phone at one point and notice a message from her old friend from tinder saying "I love you", she replied with "I love you too". I was obviously upset and confronted her about it shortly thereafter. She admitted that it was wrong that she had done that and promised to not do it anymore. I inquired as to whether she would stop talking to the guy altogether but she assured me that they are "just friends" and that "it would be wrong of you to try to tell me who I can and can't be friends with".
A few weeks have passed since the incident and I still see his name popping up on her phone constantly- pretty much daily. I've made it clear how I feel about the whole situation multiple times over the past month or so, but she seems unwilling to even consider breaking things off with him. Am I just being paranoid, jealous, or insecure (all things she's said about me in regards to the issue) or am I rightly justified for wanting their "friendship" to come to an end? | Caught GF texting "I love you" to former tinder hookup/semi-serious bf. She continues talking to him nonstop even after I've tried to have multiple conversations with her about the situation. |
t3_3745g9 | tifu | TIFU by not knowing how bike brakes work | By today I mean several years ago.
I was 10-11 years old and I loved biking. I had just gotten a new bike for my birthday, and it was a huge upgrade from the bike I had before. This new one shifted gears, and had TWO brakes! So cool!
It was a couple days after my birthday, and I was out riding my bike. My parents thought I was smart enough to ride on the opposite side of cars on the road, which I was, so they allowed me to ride on the road nearby our house. (We live in a rural area, so barely any cars pass through here anyway) I had found out a while earlier that if you press the front brake you stop quicker , which is nice (I had only tested this going slowly). My house has large hills near it, both on the road and off, and I was having fun riding down those. It was great, until I found myself going down a hill faster than I intended to, quickly accelerating towards a wall of trees.
I tried the front brake trick and surprise surprise, and I was catapulted off my bike as it bounced RIGHT over my head and careened into the trees. I was lying there on the ground (thankfully grass) about 10 feet away from the trees, with blood all over my face and arms. I wasn't too far from my house, maybe a minute's walk at most. My juvenile mind tried to comprehend what just happened but I think I was too distracted by all the blood.
I eventually got off the ground, crying and shaking, and went to look at the bike. My brand new bike I had gotten a few days prior was bent, missing the seat, had a huge dent in the front rim, and the chain wasn't mounted (wrong word?) I got back to my house around 10 minutes after I crashed, blood dripping from my arms and face, and my parents were scared shitless by the sight. Thankfully my mom was a nurse and was able to clean and bandage me up, and the injuries weren't too bad, just a lot of scrapes. | I pressed only my front brake while going down a hill, I was catapulted over the handlebars, and went home covered in blood with a broken bike. |
t3_3dqsfh | relationships | Me [26/F] with my ex [32/M] of 1 1/2 years broke up and I need some advice. Getting mixed signals from him. | For those interested, here is my original post:
I won't get into all the details of our breakup because it is linked above but it's been a week and I feel like I am going to lose my mind pretty soon if I don't get some advice. So my ex and I have been broken up for a week now. We work together and sometimes I have to run into him. I am going NC and trying to see him as little as possible. Which has been working, I don't really see him. NC is not easy though. It's actually causing me immense anxiety.
However, when I see him he stops to talk to me. He's constantly staring at me. I catch him out of the corner of my eye all the time. If he sees me in passing he waves. I don't initiate any contact with him at all. He initiates everything. I actively ignore. I don't acknowledge him. When we do talk he asks me how I'm doing, talks to me about family things, work, etc. Before we broke up he said that he wanted to be friends. I told him that I couldn't do that right now but maybe one day.
He's stalking my FB and liking things that I post. When I see him it leads to follow up questions about the things that I post there. He hasn't text me though. Not yet. It's only been a week. But I don't expect him to either. But I don't know why he is contacting me. I just need some advice on how to cope with this. This is the hardest breakup that I have ever been through and I just want to know that I am going to be ok... | Have been broken up with my ex-boyfriend for a week now and I am receiving a lot of mixed signals from him. Need some advice. |
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